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Jan. 16, 2017 - Knowledge Fight
01:29:13
#3: The Secret of 2017

On today's adventure, Dan tells Jordan all about a report Alex Jones posted purporting to explain the Secret of 2017.  Topics covered include: Does Phish have one good song? Would Alex Jones be fun to hang out with late night at a dive bar? Can an external observer read the mind of Megyn Kelly? The declining quality in the food at Luby's Diner

Participants
Main voices
a
alex jones
11:07
d
dan friesen
42:25
j
jordan holmes
32:34
| Copy link to current segment

Speaker Time Text
alex jones
Andy in Kansas, you're on the air.
Thanks for holding.
unidentified
Hello, Alex.
I'm a first-time caller.
I'm a huge fan.
I love your work.
alex jones
I love you.
dan friesen
Hey, everybody.
Welcome back to Knowledge Fight.
I am Dan.
jordan holmes
I'm Jordan.
dan friesen
And we are back for another installment where I, as a man who listens to too much InfoWars, explains what's going on in the wonderful, wonderful world of Alex Jones.
jordan holmes
To Jordan, who has absolutely no idea what the fuck is about to happen.
dan friesen
But you do know the world.
jordan holmes
I do.
I've heard of it.
dan friesen
You're a smart man.
jordan holmes
I have a passing familiarity with it.
dan friesen
You're a man who likes to pay attention to the news.
You're a man who has global awareness, some might say.
jordan holmes
Yes.
I would say I am globally aware in the sense that I know about 40% of the globe.
dan friesen
That's fair.
unidentified
That's more than most.
dan friesen
I'm just trying to give you some bona fides here.
I have my expertise in listening to this.
jordan holmes
In Alex Jones.
dan friesen
So you have to have your own expertise.
jordan holmes
You went to the University of Missouri, right?
dan friesen
No, no, no.
jordan holmes
And they didn't do an Alex Jones study?
Where did you go?
dan friesen
Oh, I went to the University of Missouri.
unidentified
I mean, he did well for himself.
jordan holmes
He's very much like one of those tech billionaires.
dan friesen
Or like Eminem.
Stupid as shit, rich as fuck, and proud of it.
jordan holmes
Yeah.
dan friesen
Quote from Eminem.
jordan holmes
Is that a quote?
dan friesen
It's from a D12 song.
jordan holmes
All right.
dan friesen
Let's not fuck around too much here.
Let's do this.
We got a lot of business to cover.
So, as you guys know, if you're eagle-eared listeners, you know that last week, Alex Jones was on vacation.
He was on break.
He wasn't in studio, and we had tons of these dingbat fucking co-hosts.
jordan holmes
Right.
dan friesen
We had the David Knights of the world filling in.
We had Roger Stone doing a day.
We had Paul Joseph Watson.
And I don't want to cover those guys.
So we don't have fresh episodes to cover right now, so to speak.
But when this comes out, it'll be Monday.
Alex will be back in studio, super excited about it.
But while Alex was off, he sent in a lot of dispatches from the road.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
He sent in a lot of special reports.
And I think those are worth talking about a little bit.
So that's something we're going to be covering.
Here in this episode, but before we do, I wanted to check in, because on our first episode, we listened to Alex explain that he was going to take some meetings.
jordan holmes
Yes.
dan friesen
But he didn't want to explain the meetings, but the mainstream media could put two and two together.
jordan holmes
And then he very quickly put that two and two together and told us it was going to be with Trump.
unidentified
Yes.
dan friesen
I don't need to warn him in person.
jordan holmes
He definitely doesn't need to get kudos or a pat on the back.
dan friesen
Does not need that.
jordan holmes
No.
He was even afraid to leave Occupied Texas.
I assume they smuggled him out in a train like Stalin or whatever?
dan friesen
Undoubtedly.
I think he was in a coal truck or something like that.
A little blanket over him or some shit.
But on this, when he calls in to give a special report, he has a slightly different take on it.
jordan holmes
So now he's his own insane caller.
dan friesen
Yep.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
Which he actually weirdly addresses in this clip.
jordan holmes
Oh, of course he does.
dan friesen
This is Alex calling in and telling his co-host, who's filling in David Knight, explaining the situation.
alex jones
I've told people I'm on vacation with my family, but that's become a whole other conspiracy, even if I leave for a week.
I'll be back next week.
unidentified
But regardless, I'm doing a work vacation.
But just while I'm out here in America talking and meeting with people, everybody I talk to basically is against political correctness now, almost everybody.
alex jones
There is a total awakening taking place, and that's why they're so scared.
dan friesen
So he's out there, he's taking meetings with people, and everyone hates political correctness.
Hooray!
jordan holmes
He even reveals in his own sentence why it is that nobody else is talking to him.
If somebody liked political correctness and saw Alex Jones walking down the street, they'd just scream Pizzagate and then run the fuck away.
dan friesen
Probably.
jordan holmes
Oh no, it's Pizzagate coming!
It's a coming down the road!
dan friesen
Pizzagate coming!
unidentified
Pizzagate coming!
Like someone giving a warning that the cops are going to break up a party.
jordan holmes
Like the 1940s stickball games in the street.
Kids being like, oh no, cops!
dan friesen
So he's been telling people it's a family vacation, which he hasn't.
jordan holmes
Which is its own conspiracy?
Who's conspiracy-ing that?
dan friesen
Who cares?
Who gives a shit where you're going?
jordan holmes
That is a really good point.
But in his mind, everybody cares where he's going, right?
dan friesen
It's so fascinating, too.
like sometimes you lie about things you don't have to and i think that's what he thinks he's doing in his head not realizing that he revealed on his show what he was doing not realizing that on his own broadcast he was like uh i'm gonna go meet with trump basically that's what he said yeah then he reveals that for a while he's been lying and saying he's going on a family vacation which he hasn't Did he even lie about it?
jordan holmes
Did he just now say that he was on a family vacation?
He didn't warn anybody.
dan friesen
I haven't heard.
jordan holmes
Also, workcation has never been said in the history of the world, right?
dan friesen
I think I've heard that before.
I'm going to give him credit.
jordan holmes
But he's just going to work.
dan friesen
Sure.
jordan holmes
He's just working in a different place.
dan friesen
Yeah, he's doing his work from the road, and God bless him, because there's a lot that needs to be done.
jordan holmes
He is our true traveling kung fu hero.
dan friesen
Bullshit guy.
jordan holmes
Yes, bullshit master.
The legend of the bullshit master.
dan friesen
This episode is going to cover a video that he put out right before he left.
I feel like it's still the beginning of the year, and I feel like a lot of people have made resolutions, and there's a lot of the year to look forward to.
jordan holmes
As he made.
A resolution?
dan friesen
He kind of does at a certain point here.
But he released a video called The Secret of 2017.
jordan holmes
Whoa!
dan friesen
And I feel like...
jordan holmes
He already knows the secret?
dan friesen
Oh, he knows the secret.
And this is a really...
I think it's probably like a 20 minute long video.
I've cut out the parts that are superfluous.
Like where he repeats himself and stuff like that.
jordan holmes
So it's cut down to a 30 second clip.
dan friesen
No, I had to leave him the funny stuff.
unidentified
Oh, okay.
jordan holmes
All right.
dan friesen
So we're going to take a look at this video today.
This secret of 2017 that I think is pretty indicative.
Like, if you look at this as just a microcosm of Alex Jones' broadcast style, it's him to a fucking T. Okay.
So here we go.
We're going to kick it off.
alex jones
I remember back in July of 2016.
Seems like just minutes ago, but it was over half a year ago.
I was in Cleveland, Ohio, covering the RNC.
dan friesen
So I want to be clear, I'm not putting in pauses.
jordan holmes
This is, that's...
Tom Waits telling a story, right?
Like, you and I are in a bar right next to Tom Waits going, like, just a little bit faster, Tom.
Just a little bit faster, Tom.
dan friesen
There's also a part of me that thinks, like, from listening to this, that Alex is itching to do drama.
Like, he really wants to start doing dramatic monologues.
It just feels like it.
jordan holmes
On this St. Crispin's Day, we all know.
dan friesen
This video is that long.
I'm not playing 20-minute clips.
Don't worry.
We'll be back sooner than that.
alex jones
And I went over to the Ritz-Carlton, where the main Republicans were staying, and I met with a lot of the different Fox News officials, their vice presidents, their programming people.
dan friesen
Now keep in mind, I want to cut in here real quick to remind you that the name of this video is The Secret of 2017.
So just remember, when he starts down this road, this is the first thought he had in his mind when he made a video called The Secret of 2017.
unidentified
But you forgot to add the part where he said, the way we learn about the future is we look to the past.
dan friesen
That's almost Chris Christofferson-y.
jordan holmes
Oh yeah, that's right.
dan friesen
There's a gravel there.
jordan holmes
I'm trying, I'm trying.
He's got a tough voice to imitate.
alex jones
Nah, not really.
dan friesen
I don't know if that's good either.
jordan holmes
I think you gotta go a little bit lower.
You got the cadence right.
dan friesen
Alright.
alex jones
And we talked about Megyn Kelly.
And I said, Megyn Kelly, this is only like six, seven months ago now.
It seems like, again, just yesterday, but also a lifetime ago.
Megyn Kelly is your bellwether.
If she can successfully convert your audience to hating conservatism, hating libertarianism, buying into worshipping this dead political horse, Hillary, then you've won.
But I said, I think Megyn Kelly is going to destroy herself.
In this battle with Donald Trump and the American people.
And they agreed with me.
They said, no, we're already seeing ratings slide.
She had the top ratings on the channel.
And now she's moved on to the Peacock Network NBC.
It's itself a total show.
And it's Bad Son, MSNBC, and CNBC, and Microsoft, and all the rest of them.
And this is truly a train wreck we're watching.
But it shows how...
She gets her hair done in Manhattan.
She's this beautiful little elf woman.
She's an old lady to me.
I'm nothing as old ladies, but she's a solace.
And she still believes.
dan friesen
You were laughing over him calling her soulless.
jordan holmes
Soulless?
Oh, God.
dan friesen
She's an ugly woman and soulless.
jordan holmes
This, again, I have to- And nothing against the ladies.
Nothing against the ladies.
dan friesen
But I'm going to attractiveness shame you.
jordan holmes
Yes.
dan friesen
And Megyn Kelly's a beautiful woman.
unidentified
She is.
dan friesen
I disagree with her on her stances on race.
jordan holmes
Elf woman?
Elf woman?
dan friesen
That's not even a negative.
jordan holmes
Is that- Yeah, I mean- What, are you calling her Zelda?
Yeah, are we going- Well, let's go with Lord of the Rings.
The elves are the most beautiful things.
dan friesen
Heroin is gorgeous.
jordan holmes
Yeah, exactly.
dan friesen
And all these cosplayers dress up like elves.
unidentified
Yeah!
dan friesen
Because they're fucking hot.
jordan holmes
Elves are a main selling point in this world of ours, I guess.
dan friesen
But she goes and gets her hair done in Manhattan.
She's a bitch.
unidentified
Wait.
dan friesen
This clip isn't done.
jordan holmes
Doesn't she live in Manhattan?
dan friesen
Probably.
jordan holmes
Where else would she get her hair done?
dan friesen
Go to the Bronx, you bitch.
Take a trip.
Take a trip up to Harlem to get your hair done, you hussy.
I don't fucking understand that either.
jordan holmes
That's crazy, but alright.
dan friesen
Yeah, don't get your hair done where you live.
jordan holmes
Yeah.
unidentified
Travel.
jordan holmes
Ah, you millionaire TV show host.
dan friesen
Yeah, elite.
alex jones
In the system.
So Megyn Kelly, as the whole dinosaur media goes down, is emblematic of the fall.
Of the peacock, globalist, narcissistic brainwashing machine.
I think that's really the takeaway from all of this I can bring you.
dan friesen
So this is the first clip, and it seems like it's a thesis statement.
It seems like that's the thesis.
jordan holmes
It does seem like there is more to go on this particular subject.
unidentified
There 100% seems that way.
jordan holmes
Were her ratings slipping?
unidentified
Didn't she leave as still the number one on Fox News?
dan friesen
I don't know the statistics on that, but I know that they did offer her a fat contract to stay and she turned it down.
unidentified
Probably because she was sexually harassed by all of Fox News.
dan friesen
Yeah, probably.
You gotta cover your tracks a little bit.
jordan holmes
Yeah, I think that would be a smart idea.
dan friesen
I think her numbers were slipping a little bit, but not to a profound extent.
jordan holmes
Okay, now...
Has he ever criticized Megyn Kelly in the past?
dan friesen
I think so, yeah.
jordan holmes
You think so?
dan friesen
Yeah.
jordan holmes
While she was on Fox News?
dan friesen
Well, especially when she was the moderator of that debate and...
Ask Trump some hard questions.
jordan holmes
Oh, yeah, no, that was her fault.
dan friesen
Yeah, absolutely.
She shouldn't have gotten in the line of fire with a good man.
unidentified
Uh-uh, uh-uh.
dan friesen
You know, he's a good man.
Don't fucking ask him questions.
jordan holmes
You know, these elves are coming up on our orange-headed toes.
dan friesen
Sure.
jordan holmes
And they are just getting in the way.
dan friesen
There is this insane, like, overarching narrative that they have that is, like, the media are bullies.
And that, like, keeps coming up.
And so, like, I do believe that Alex would think that, like...
Asking Trump hard questions is bullying him.
Yeah.
And that's nuts.
That's completely nuts.
That's the role of a press.
jordan holmes
That always goes back to everything.
He always says this, and it's, you know, everything they accuse us of doing is what they're doing.
dan friesen
Yep.
unidentified
That'll come up later.
jordan holmes
And what he's really saying there is, if we don't do it...
They're going to do it to us.
unidentified
Yes.
jordan holmes
So it's giving him a preemptive justification, you know, in the same way that China and Russia have reserved the right to a first-strike nuclear attack.
Well, back in 99. Back in 99. I assume they didn't cancel that reservation, right?
dan friesen
I mean, the table's ready.
Why cancel the reservation?
jordan holmes
They've already got bread on it.
dan friesen
So, interestingly, that is his...
Opening valley of the secrets of 2017.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
And it seems like maybe that's the direction he's going to go.
It might not be the case.
He has some more words about Megyn Kelly, though.
alex jones
Huge things are happening right now.
And you look at these tarts.
It's not that she's a woman.
Smart people I know are women.
Because you have the archetype of the dumb guy, the dumb woman.
I mean, Megyn Kelly is the dumb blonde cheerleader.
Who looked okay ten years ago on Fox, but now just looks like an ugly witch.
dan friesen
See, that's so unfair on a number of levels.
jordan holmes
What in God's name is he...
unidentified
Okay.
dan friesen
He's justifying...
jordan holmes
He sounds drunk, right?
He sounds drunk.
That's a dude who is drunk.
He's at the hotel bar.
He's sitting next to...
Like, he's been on the road for a long time.
He's sitting next to...
dan friesen
You might have cracked the code.
jordan holmes
Yeah, he's drunk.
He's just rambling shit.
Like, why is he being mean about her appearance?
And of all the Fox News people, she's the only one who seems intelligent at all.
dan friesen
And doesn't seem at all like a dumb cheerleader archetype.
More than anything, she seems like a stern aunt.
Yeah.
jordan holmes
No, I disagree with her positions, but she does seem like a fucking whip-cracking smart lady.
dan friesen
And substantial.
jordan holmes
Yes.
dan friesen
She doesn't seem like...
She seems like someone who...
And evidence has borne this out.
In interviews, she's not just repeating things.
unidentified
No.
dan friesen
She's engaged in the interview and asking questions based on what the people say to her.
jordan holmes
Right.
Which is why they hate her, because if you respond with an answer and then you get a follow-up question, you don't get the chance to just...
Skip over it.
You don't get to just insinuate something and then leave.
Like a certain, I don't know, host of a certain show who might have a gravelly Texas accent.
dan friesen
So for the second time in the span of three minutes, he said, I don't hate women, but this woman is an ugly coos.
jordan holmes
He really went after her.
Why is he going after her appearance?
dan friesen
She looks like a witch.
jordan holmes
That's such Bush League bullshit.
dan friesen
Yeah, it is.
But, you know, when you really get down to it, I don't know if he has many other tools.
You know, like other than Bush League stuff.
Insinuation and sort of insults.
But anyway, hold on.
We got more.
alex jones
Because her soul is ugly.
She reportedly told friends, oh, I'm ugly, I'm old now, I better join the liberals.
She's wanting to go jump onto some failed ship because she feels rejected after buying into the mainstream media's lie that Donald Trump was this evil guy.
This is just her thinking, oh my god, I'm hated at Fox.
I'm hated by the viewers now.
Let me go to NBC.
Because those failures, those vampires are ready to get whoever they can swindle into joining them.
dan friesen
So that was just fan fiction.
unidentified
He assumed what she was thinking.
jordan holmes
Yeah, he's...
Wait, so he thinks she told her friends...
dan friesen
That I'm ugly.
jordan holmes
So now he's absolving himself of any of those insults because he's just repeating what she said.
Except he's never heard anybody say that, ever.
dan friesen
He's just telling us her psyche.
Because he absolutely knows what she's dealing with.
jordan holmes
Okay, alright.
But is he everywhere at all times?
Does he have everything bugged?
Because it seems like everything he says is like...
unidentified
I know that these three people said this in a private room.
jordan holmes
And I know it because I have small little cameras set up wherever Megyn Kelly goes.
I'm a little bit drunk right now.
dan friesen
He does.
He's listened to our show, which is nice.
jordan holmes
I love Megyn Kelly.
dan friesen
He probably does.
alex jones
I'm a big elf fan.
dan friesen
I mean, think about it.
These sort of insults generally don't come out of people who don't have some sort of feeling about a person.
jordan holmes
Yeah.
dan friesen
Outright hate is usually covering up some sort of...
jordan holmes
Yeah.
dan friesen
To conflict.
jordan holmes
I mean, yeah, he must have loved her at some point.
Yeah.
When she was on Fox News.
Not just in an interpersonal way.
Yeah, that's a drunk man who feels like he's been left behind by the one who...
She's the one who got away!
dan friesen
So now, again, I have to remind you, and I'm going to constantly remind you, this is the secret of 2017.
He has spent the opening 10 minutes.
jordan holmes
We're on 10 minutes?
dan friesen
No, no, no.
jordan holmes
Oh, okay.
dan friesen
We're at like 20. Of course we are.
He spent the opening like four.
jordan holmes
Because we have the focusing abilities of somebody who's taking crack speed and is on ADHD.
dan friesen
And is drinking Spumante.
Spumante, yeah.
So he's taken up the beginning of The Secret of 2016 just to personally attack the appearance of Megyn Kelly over and over again and assume what she's thinking.
jordan holmes
Yeah.
dan friesen
But that's not really what it's all about.
It's also about how good a man Alex Jones is.
jordan holmes
Oh, no!
alex jones
I'm just an average person who has a will and who's justice-bound and who wants to promote freedom.
I'm not that special.
But I am special in that I don't join every Peacock organization.
I don't want to go...
Anybody else who's successful like me, almost everybody, they go in their weird functions and dinners and fake...
Charity events where you walk down red carpets and they have people there to take photos of you just so you feel big.
unidentified
It's a whole vanity fair business of BS.
alex jones
That means nothing to me.
I'll tell you what means something to me.
I've probably been in Luby's cafeterias that are here in Texas and a few other states 500 times in my life.
dan friesen
You might think that this is going to a I support local business angle.
jordan holmes
I'm really hoping.
I'm hoping there's one redeeming factor in this long drunken speech.
dan friesen
No.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
It is long and seemingly drunken.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
But he is about to tell a story that never happened.
To illustrate why he's a great man.
jordan holmes
Okay.
So we're back to the spaceship car.
dan friesen
1,000%.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
But just strap it in.
jordan holmes
Strap it in.
I'm going to put the microphone down.
dan friesen
Yeah.
jordan holmes
That's what I'm going to do.
dan friesen
This is take a sip of champagne and enjoy some bullshit time.
jordan holmes
Alrighty.
alex jones
I mean, I grew up when I was a little kid going to him in Dallas.
And it wasn't until about six, seven years ago that I'd go to a Luby's.
And I'd hear old ladies in the line, who had always been in line with us since I was a little kid, calling, I don't have the money for the Lou Anne and their little purse bags.
And I started getting tears in my eyes, because they weren't saying this for me.
They were talking to their old lady friends like they didn't have money for food.
This was their one day out a week to get this food.
And I didn't want to make a scene or anything, but after this happened a few times, I'd sit there and say, hey, I'm getting all these people's food.
And it wasn't that I was some angel or whatever.
dan friesen
So I want to break there for a second.
jordan holmes
How old was he again?
What did he say?
dan friesen
No, this is currently.
jordan holmes
This is currently.
dan friesen
He's been going to Luby's his whole life.
jordan holmes
For 500 times or so.
dan friesen
Yeah, but he...
Okay, here's why this didn't happen.
I don't think that Alex Jones...
jordan holmes
Any number of reasons could be why this didn't happen.
dan friesen
I don't think Alex Jones isn't possibly a charitable nice man.
That's entirely possible.
unidentified
Yes.
dan friesen
But this story didn't happen because no one goes to a restaurant and being like, I can't pay for the food.
You stay home.
jordan holmes
Yeah.
But they're one day out a week, too?
dan friesen
Again, this is Megyn Kelly's thoughts.
He's assuming.
He has no idea.
jordan holmes
Okay.
All right.
So, okay.
All right.
dan friesen
He buys them all food, though.
jordan holmes
He's a good guy.
I know he's a good guy, but...
So, this has happened a few times.
dan friesen
Apparently.
jordan holmes
In different Luby's or in the same Luby's?
unidentified
Well...
jordan holmes
And if it's in the same Luby's, does he know these people's names?
Can he give us any details about them other than their old women crying?
dan friesen
You gave your son a job.
You let one of these old biddies get in and do a news report.
jordan holmes
Yeah, they could probably tear down Megyn Kelly way better than he could.
dan friesen
It would feel better.
jordan holmes
Yeah, I would be less offended by it.
dan friesen
Anyway, the clip's not over.
alex jones
It was that my whole life I'd gone there.
I mean, I have early memories of being like Luby's in Dallas.
I'm like two years old.
And I never heard people bitching and complaining they couldn't pay for the food.
And the food was lower quality.
The food was even cheaper.
But inflation and all the lies.
And I saw the news saying, oh, there's no inflation.
Our economy's great.
Obama said we had the best economy we've ever had.
dan friesen
So now he somehow relates this story to Obama.
jordan holmes
Also, inflation?
dan friesen
Also, the food is worse now.
jordan holmes
Yeah, why?
dan friesen
But I've kept going.
jordan holmes
The food is worse.
dan friesen
The food's worse now.
It's cheaper, but there's inflation.
jordan holmes
Yeah.
alex jones
I don't understand.
dan friesen
Yeah.
jordan holmes
That is a twisted...
That's a pretzel of a thought.
dan friesen
Again, you're getting...
This is the secret of 2017.
Megyn Kelly is ugly and insecure, so she ran away to NBC.
jordan holmes
Obama ruined the economy by increasing inflation and directly going after Luby's.
dan friesen
And Alex Jones is a good man because he overheard some old women talking about not being able to...
Pay for food they ordered.
jordan holmes
And they had coin purses?
dan friesen
I guess so.
unidentified
So this is...
dan friesen
This is in the 50s.
jordan holmes
This is supposed to be now.
dan friesen
Yeah.
jordan holmes
But he's still referencing coin purses from...
dan friesen
Have you ever been to occupied Texas?
jordan holmes
I have never been to occupied Texas.
dan friesen
Well, you'd know.
There's a lot of coin purses.
jordan holmes
There's a lot of coin...
You know what?
That...
Yeah.
I can see that.
dan friesen
Now he gets...
jordan holmes
I don't know when Texas is in the world.
dan friesen
It's in the 50s.
jordan holmes
Yeah.
dan friesen
Constantly.
It's like Pleasantville.
unidentified
Right.
dan friesen
So now here's where he gets a little bit...
Off the chain.
alex jones
Obama said we had the best economy we've ever had.
In between speeches saying you can't have cars or air conditioning.
Well, he's on a jumbo jet and playing golf 100 days a year and sitting around delusional because he's black, so it's okay to say black people got to be poor and watch their unemployment double.
He was chosen by these sick, inbred, corporate, blue-blood, white people on average.
You want to get down to bashing white people?
Yeah, most of these folks are white running this thing.
They're playing us all off against each other.
To screw us over.
We've got a bunch of narcissists who want to be on their news, their shows, their channels to feel like we've arrived, so we'll sell our own family out to be part of them.
unidentified
Yeah.
jordan holmes
I feel like I need to write down notes to see.
Okay.
You're not here, so you can't see it.
He's playing these clips on his phone, and in lieu of actually having anything to look at, I've just been staring at his phone.
dan friesen
If you need to take notes, there's a piece of paper.
jordan holmes
I do, because I don't understand where he went.
That was a...
Where did he go?
dan friesen
That was a crazy triple lindy.
jordan holmes
Where did he go?
Yeah!
dan friesen
That was an insanity triple axel.
jordan holmes
That was the Tony Hawk hitting a 720 of random-ass shit.
dan friesen
Well, okay, so because Obama's black, he can tell black people that they should be poor.
unidentified
Yeah.
dan friesen
That's one thing that's like...
jordan holmes
I don't remember him saying that, but I...
dan friesen
Also, I don't understand where you get off saying that.
Like, because he's black, it's okay.
I know he's not saying that literally.
He's saying that the world thinks that.
jordan holmes
Right.
dan friesen
Which is also not true.
jordan holmes
But that's his preemptive, like, nobody can call me a racist because Obama's already even more racist than me.
dan friesen
Double reverse racism.
jordan holmes
Yeah, and then nobody's talking about that.
Everybody's just coming at me.
dan friesen
Now, the cars and microwaves thing...
jordan holmes
I don't...
No, it was air conditioning.
dan friesen
Yeah.
jordan holmes
He was telling people they can't have cars.
dan friesen
Right.
jordan holmes
Or air conditioning.
dan friesen
That's an old chestnut of Alex's, actually.
That refers to...
jordan holmes
That's like a climate change thing, right?
dan friesen
Yes.
It refers to Obama telling third world nations...
That they can't have cars and air conditioning.
And he didn't really tell them that as much as it is...
jordan holmes
I feel like, well, one, that would be an interesting thing to read in a speech from Obama.
dan friesen
Uh, guys, no cars.
jordan holmes
This is an uplifting conversation.
unidentified
Before we begin, no cars.
dan friesen
Zimbabwe?
jordan holmes
Bitches.
dan friesen
Zimbabwe?
It's feet from now on.
jordan holmes
It's feet from now on.
dan friesen
I think...
I looked into this a while back because it was one of those that I was like, there's no way that's accurate.
jordan holmes
There's no way that's accurate.
dan friesen
And it was about climate change.
It was about, like, as you're modernizing, we should find better ways to modernize than the ones we've used in the past.
jordan holmes
Yes.
dan friesen
Which is a very sensible thing to do, but, you know, it's easy to paint with that broad brush and say, like, nope, third world countries, no cars!
jordan holmes
It is really easy because he did it in 20 words.
dan friesen
Yep.
So now we get into, at the end of that clip, he was talking about how everyone wants to get involved with these peacock networks.
unidentified
Yes.
dan friesen
And he doesn't.
Which actually, I'm going to say this, and it might come up a couple times.
I believe him.
jordan holmes
Yeah, no, I agree.
dan friesen
And God bless him.
jordan holmes
Do you think anybody's offered him a job?
dan friesen
No one bigger than he is, I don't think.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
I don't think, maybe at some point in the past, like Fox News might have.
Or something like that, but no.
I don't think...
Do you remember when Michael Savage had a show?
unidentified
No.
jordan holmes
I don't even know who Michael Savage is.
dan friesen
Dr. Savage of the Savage Nation?
jordan holmes
No.
No idea.
dan friesen
Savage Nation is a horrible...
It's like Alex Jones, but with outright hate from an old Jewish dude.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
Whose actual name is Michael Wiener.
He calls himself...
jordan holmes
It's a good change!
It's a good change!
dan friesen
So he has this show called The Savage Nation.
jordan holmes
Because Wiener Nation is very much not the way to go.
dan friesen
It's Wienerville.
Mark Wiener.
Mark Wiener's gonna sue.
jordan holmes
Right, right, right.
dan friesen
So he has this talk radio show that I would listen to all the time when I was younger.
jordan holmes
Although Anthony Wiener would totally crush a Wiener Nation show.
dan friesen
Oh, he would love it.
jordan holmes
Yeah.
dan friesen
But he's gonna go to prison probably, so...
He can have Wiener Nation in there.
jordan holmes
Yeah!
dan friesen
But Michael Savage...
jordan holmes
Wiener Nation State Penitentiary.
dan friesen
Michael Savage is an amazing storyteller.
So he would tell these stories about his daily life that were engaging and full of detail, and he was really, really good at broadcasting.
Unfortunately, he was a hateful bigot.
unidentified
Right.
dan friesen
And Fox News gave him a show, like, around 9-11.
I think they gave it to him before...
But then it was cancelled pretty close after.
Because he was so...
jordan holmes
I imagine his anti-Muslim bigotry would have gone way too far even for them.
dan friesen
He made a guy cry on air.
jordan holmes
Jesus!
dan friesen
Who was Muslim, who was just trying to have a debate about stuff, and he was just like, I hope you die, towelhead, kind of shit.
jordan holmes
Whoa!
dan friesen
He also had a gay rights activist on, and he told him he hoped he'd die of AIDS.
unidentified
Yeah.
dan friesen
And shit like that.
jordan holmes
Yeah.
dan friesen
And so, like, they gave him a show on Fox News and then had to cancel it because it was fucking, like, uh-oh.
jordan holmes
Yeah.
dan friesen
And I don't think Alex is nearly as bad as Michael Savage.
But I think those networks learned a lesson from that.
And it was like...
Even Rush Limbaugh can't have a TV show, because we'll get sued.
jordan holmes
Yeah, but he does do the live broadcast.
dan friesen
But he does it on his own.
jordan holmes
Okay, I didn't know that.
dan friesen
That's not through a network.
Or if it is, it's not like CNN or MSNBC or Fox or anything like that.
jordan holmes
So if Alex Jones did go to a network TV show...
I assume he would lose just about all of his listener base?
Like, do you think they would go with him?
dan friesen
I think...
I mean, it depends.
If he went to, like, a cable network, I think he might be able to pull off some of the bullshit that he says.
But, yeah, I think he'd have to lose a lot of his...
Independent credibility that he has.
jordan holmes
I mean, he's gone on 25 years of yelling at every single possible news outlet.
dan friesen
Well, we're going to learn here in a minute it's going to be 22 years in April.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
To be specific.
jordan holmes
Sorry.
dan friesen
But the point of this was I do believe him when he says that he doesn't want to go to these networks.
And when he says that what he wants to do is what he's doing.
unidentified
I believe that.
jordan holmes
Yeah, absolutely.
dan friesen
I believe that 100%.
jordan holmes
So we have agreed with Alex Jones on one thing so far.
dan friesen
I just want to give him his propers.
Whenever he's being straight up, I'll be straight up.
So now he goes on to talk about other stuff that is maybe more dubious.
alex jones
So let me give you the newsflash.
I've been on air 21 years.
Almost 22 years.
In April, it'll be 22 years.
And I don't say this to say I'm some big badass.
I say this so you realize that Wall Street, Madison Avenue, all of it have nothing to offer you.
It's a fraud.
It won't fulfill you.
I've been in major movies.
I didn't realize early on I was getting a little offer to join them.
And maybe I won.
unidentified
Ha ha ha ha ha!
dan friesen
Don't you love that moment?
That's the drunk moment right there.
That's the drunk moment.
alex jones
Maybe I would.
dan friesen
Maybe I wasn't.
unidentified
That's like that moment of self-reflection.
dan friesen
That's gorgeous.
So actually, this clip is a rollercoaster for me.
Because I'm still agreeing with him.
That idea that Wall Street has nothing to offer you.
It's like, yeah, absolutely.
Independent as fuck.
This is LP shit.
jordan holmes
I'm on board.
The only thing that...
So far, the only thing in that sentence was, he's not saying this to make him sound like a badass.
Right.
Because that's exactly why he's saying it.
dan friesen
Right.
And I've been in major movies.
I went to IMDB and did a little research.
jordan holmes
What major movies was he in?
dan friesen
Three credits.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
If you don't count the documentaries that he's on, because he did loose change and shit.
But he directed those, or funded them.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
The three movies that he's been in as an actor.
jordan holmes
Major movies.
dan friesen
Well, he was in two Richard Linklater movies.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
He was in Waking Life as the guy driving around in a car screaming in a bullhorn about how humanity is too good to be taken over by imposing forces.
jordan holmes
Linklater fucking cast that right.
dan friesen
Well, but Linklater comes from Austin.
And so he knew Alex Jones when Alex was a public access host.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
So whenever he started making movies, he always had this image of this guy in his head.
And so also he was in A Scanner Darkly, another Linklater movie, as a guy yelling in a bullhorn.
jordan holmes
Both rotoscoped.
Yeah.
dan friesen
And both characters who are crazy people screaming on the street in bullhorns.
jordan holmes
Yeah.
dan friesen
Then he was in a third movie called Amerageddon.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
Here are the things you need to know about Amerageddon.
He plays a minor role as a politician.
It was directed by Chuck Norris' son.
And the movie also features InfoWars as a media outlet that tells the truth in a sea of lies.
David Knight plays the broadcaster on InfoWars in the movie.
So Alex Jones, being in this movie, kind of is PR.
Like, being in it, it's not a major movie, also.
It's Amerigaddon.
Also, do you want to hear the plot synopsis?
jordan holmes
Goddammit, I want to see this movie.
dan friesen
I watched the trailer.
And it's wacky town.
jordan holmes
Where can we find it?
Anywhere?
dan friesen
The trailer is on IMDB.
jordan holmes
Right.
dan friesen
You can find it there.
jordan holmes
But the actual movie?
dan friesen
I don't know.
I don't want to watch the whole thing.
jordan holmes
Oh, I want to watch it so bad.
dan friesen
It seems like a left-behind kind of thing.
jordan holmes
Oh, no, of course.
But what I'm saying is I want to get as LSD as possible and ride that out.
dan friesen
Here's the plot: "A fictional depiction of a future wherein a globalist terrorist organization aligned with the United Nations to disable the United States power grid and institute's martial law.
It will take a dedicated family of patriots armed with strong survival The remains of the Second Amendment The big plot point in the movie that I took from the trailer is that the army goes around and individually takes people's guns.
jordan holmes
Wow.
dan friesen
But all of that stuff, that entire plot is just basically the wet dreams.
jordan holmes
Yeah, that's Alex Jones's...
dan friesen
Yeah, so of course he's going to be in that movie.
jordan holmes
That's every fear of Alex Jones.
unidentified
But why is he obsessed with the power grid?
jordan holmes
That's the thing that keeps showing up here is that...
He thinks that the power grid is the only thing between us and pure and utter zombie chaos.
dan friesen
In fairness to him, I don't...
From things I've read, I don't know...
I'm not an expert.
But from things I've read, the power grid is fairly vulnerable.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
That could be attacked in a way that would leave us in a fairly desperate state.
I mean, like, it is something that could happen.
And you don't think about all the implications of it.
It would have a ripple effect that would go through.
Internet going down, markets would suffer from it, the ability to send food around.
There would be...
If you're going to choose a paranoid fantasy, that's not a terrible one.
jordan holmes
Yes, I understand that, but...
dan friesen
It's much better than bird flu.
jordan holmes
The thing that he...
unidentified
Although he was scared of bird flu.
jordan holmes
Of course he was.
In a way that he was not scared of the Y2K bug somehow.
unidentified
Okay.
dan friesen
Actually, I should say bird flu was a false flag.
jordan holmes
Okay.
unidentified
All right.
jordan holmes
What about swine flu?
dan friesen
There's a false flag for bird flu.
jordan holmes
Mad cow?
dan friesen
False flag for swine flu.
jordan holmes
Oh, boy.
It's all the same shit, huh?
dan friesen
It's like a communist Chinese resting doll.
Nesting doll.
jordan holmes
Nesting doll.
dan friesen
You can't say Russia.
jordan holmes
But here's what I think boggles my mind, is that if the globalists do this...
dan friesen
Yes.
jordan holmes
That will destroy them more so than anybody else.
Does he not understand that the markets are all so interconnected at this point that if you were to take the markets down, like if the Dow dropped...
What would you even consider?
Like, now it's a little bit...
unidentified
A billion points.
jordan holmes
A billion points.
If the Dow drops, because we're a little bit under 20,000, if it drops to 15,000 because of a power grid meltdown, the entire world falls apart.
dan friesen
Yeah, we're all fucked.
jordan holmes
We're all fucked.
dan friesen
And that's because of 15,000.
jordan holmes
Yeah, exactly.
dan friesen
There's a lot more room to drop.
jordan holmes
Which is still twice as good.
dan friesen
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I think that his argument that he would make, again, I don't like to put words in his mouth, but he would say that the globalists, since they know that they're going to do it, they've made preparations for it.
They have underground bunkers.
They have supplies and munitions and stuff like that.
They can hide it out while the rest of us kill each other off in the streets.
jordan holmes
Why would we kill each other off in the streets?
dan friesen
Because hunger sets in and you become an animal.
jordan holmes
Have you ever...
Do you know how this happens in small-scale situations?
dan friesen
I don't.
jordan holmes
You know, like how when Russia just invaded the Ukraine.
I can just call it Ukraine, right?
I don't have to say.
Why is the Ukraine?
dan friesen
I think it's from Risk.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
I think it's actually from Seinfeld.
jordan holmes
The Ukraine is weak.
Oh, that could be it.
Yeah.
Yeah, no.
So this happens.
The power grid goes down.
Or in situations like...
I mean, God, any number of the places that we've blown up over the years.
What always happens is not everybody starts killing each other.
What always happens is people actually go, oh...
Now we're all in this together.
We are all trying to survive.
So all of a sudden black markets start showing up where it's like we can get food that we can't get through whatever channels that are normal because inflation has exploded.
dan friesen
Well Jordan that's stupid because optimism doesn't sell survival supplies and paranoia and fear is really the only marketing force that works when your business model is set up to scare people.
unidentified
You're right.
jordan holmes
You're right.
dan friesen
Anyway, Alex Jones has...
I need to do a way better job of labeling these clips.
This one's just called Integrity Ramble.
So, enjoy.
alex jones
But the later offers were.
You want a book deal every year for $3 million.
You want to be in major motion pictures up to $10 million a year.
You want $10 million three-year contracts for radio.
We're ready to write the ticket.
You will be the next Rush Limbaugh before they got back.
And I told them no.
They said, I am the president of programming at this major network.
I don't make $2 million a year.
You're going to turn down $3.5 million a year.
And I said, you're damn right I am.
And it was hard to do.
dan friesen
That didn't happen.
jordan holmes
No.
How much does he make?
He doesn't make $2 million, but I assume that he threw out $2 million, meaning it's $1.8 million?
unidentified
No, no, no, no.
dan friesen
He was doing that as role play.
He was being the head of another network, offering him a job.
jordan holmes
Oh, so the head doesn't make $2 million, and he's so excited about Alex Jones, he's offering him $3 million.
dan friesen
Which means, if this head of a network isn't making $2 million a year, that's a tiny network.
jordan holmes
That's a really small network.
dan friesen
That might be like QVC.
jordan holmes
Yeah, but even with stock options, you're going to be fine.
dan friesen
We're just talking liquid.
jordan holmes
That's a good point.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have added net worth into this.
dan friesen
I used to work at a lab, and the owner, like, not even the owner of the lab, but, like, the head of one of the departments in the lab made, like, a million a year.
So, like, the idea is a fairly big lab, but, like, the idea that the head of a broadcast network isn't making two million a year is bullshit.
jordan holmes
Yeah, I mean...
Are we talking programming head?
Because that's probably what he's...
He's not talking about CEO of the network.
dan friesen
That's a fair point.
He is skimping on the details.
unidentified
Right.
dan friesen
Yeah.
jordan holmes
So we would be looking at...
I don't know.
Let's just throw out a Weinstein for the major motion pictures.
dan friesen
Are you kidding me?
They make way more than $2 million.
jordan holmes
I know, right?
dan friesen
They might make like $100 million a year.
jordan holmes
$10 million, yeah.
What is happening here?
dan friesen
So anyway, he has more about his...
jordan holmes
But before we go any further, how much do you think he makes?
dan friesen
I couldn't possibly guess.
I could not possibly guess.
It's very mysterious to me.
Because I don't think...
I actually have done a bunch of research in the last couple days about his advertising model, which we'll get into on a future show.
But I don't understand where the money is coming from, necessarily.
Unless millions of people are buying these weird supplements.
On his show, there aren't...
A ton of ads.
On his website, there aren't a ton of ads.
So I don't know what's going on exactly.
And shows like Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity, these types of shows, they actually had way smaller audiences than you think.
They were being propped up by billionaire Republican investors for the longest time.
jordan holmes
As a propaganda wing.
Yeah, absolutely.
Even if the show isn't profitable, it's to their advantage if they have a fear-mongering monster.
Throwing everything at the wall to see who's going to do what.
dan friesen
It's conceivably the...
I think they would look at it as sort of the antidote to NPR.
Or something like that.
That had been the model for a very long time.
I think it's entirely possible...
jordan holmes
The antidote to NPR is just coffee.
dan friesen
Pick it up.
jordan holmes
Guys, guys, speak quickly!
dan friesen
I think he might be getting some sort of money from somebody, some angel investor or something like that.
Or it's possible that tons of people are buying the supplements.
I don't know.
jordan holmes
I would say that a lot more people are buying the supplements than you would think.
dan friesen
The amount of money that it would take to run his operation is big.
jordan holmes
Yeah, how many people does he have on staff?
dan friesen
I mean, if you talk about just in front of the camera personalities, there's at least like seven, and then there's gotta be some behind-the-scenes crew, editors, because he puts out like so much fucking material.
Yeah.
jordan holmes
Yeah, but you can still do a bare-bones kind of operation, because it is like single camera on him, right?
No, I haven't seen the studio.
dan friesen
It's gorgeous.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
It makes me...
Fucking so jealous.
But, like, he puts out four hours of the Alex Jones show on a daily basis.
And then he has the Infowars Nightly News, which is like another two-hour show usually.
Hosted by Leanne McAdoo or one of the other...
jordan holmes
Still a made-up name.
dan friesen
I love it.
I love her so much.
jordan holmes
She sounds like a country music star, right?
dan friesen
Yeah, from the classic outlaw days.
jordan holmes
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
dan friesen
But she's got big old...
jordan holmes
Outlaw country.
dan friesen
She's got big old titties.
And I hate to say that because we just got done critiquing Alex for his...
jordan holmes
But that's more just a reference to the days of yore.
dan friesen
Sure.
And I would never...
I guess I just did.
jordan holmes
I don't know.
dan friesen
I was going to say I don't want to objectify.
jordan holmes
I don't think that's a value judgment there so much as it is a stereotype.
dan friesen
Maybe.
jordan holmes
I think we're pulling from several well-known people from that era.
dan friesen
My point is I just want to call myself out whenever there are things like that.
Because we're doing a...
Pretty harsh criticism job.
I might as well apply it to myself as well.
jordan holmes
That's true.
dan friesen
Anyway.
jordan holmes
We need to be held to a higher standard than drunken Alex Jones.
dan friesen
Speaking of high standards.
alex jones
My integrity.
It's like saying, would you give up your eyeballs?
For a billion dollars?
Frickin' hell no.
Blind?
I've got a billion dollars?
No way.
jordan holmes
Totally would.
alex jones
I will not give up my soul for any amount of money.
That isn't some rocket scientist, badass, cool hero move.
That's a normal move of somebody that's awake and alive.
It isn't hard to say no to this.
That's what I don't get.
Is that it's so clear to me, and let's be frank, InfoWars is leading the world in game-changing, trailblazing resistance to this.
But I don't understand why we're king.
I actually feel pathetic.
I feel dirty.
My half-assed attempt at this is the best we got?
Pull my eyes out with pliers, I get a billion dollars?
No!
Take my soul?
Who I am?
What I stand for?
For money?
dan friesen
So this is where...
jordan holmes
God bless America!
dan friesen
Lee Greenwood just kicks in.
jordan holmes
Land Alex Jones!
dan friesen
But do you see at the end there, that's really where I think he's itching for drama.
That, like, take out my eyes for a billion dollars?
jordan holmes
That was the Independence Day speech.
That's what that was.
dan friesen
That's the Independence Day speech to a T. And he really seems to think that this taking out the eyes for a billion dollars that he's just suggested himself is a literal offer that someone's made.
jordan holmes
Well, I mean, why?
And also, what would they do with those eyes?
dan friesen
They'd probably put them in with the fetuses that they've harvested.
And a pizzagator.
jordan holmes
And try and...
Well, what I would do is put them into an Alex Jones robot.
dan friesen
Oh, that'd be great.
jordan holmes
So then you could look into...
So the eyes are the windows to the soul.
dan friesen
That's true.
jordan holmes
We all know this.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
jordan holmes
You put them in an Alex Jones robot, you've already stolen his soul if you steal his eyes.
dan friesen
That's true.
jordan holmes
That makes perfect sense.
dan friesen
I think...
Look, you first came in with the Alex Jones is drunk theory, which is amazing.
And then you come in with this second theory.
I think you're killing it here.
jordan holmes
I think I have short-circuited his show.
dan friesen
What was that other...
jordan holmes
The rocket scientist badass move.
When has anybody ever described a rocket scientist as a badass?
I don't know about Elon Musk.
Are we talking Armageddon?
Elon Musk is not a rocket scientist.
dan friesen
He could be.
Give him a rocket.
jordan holmes
I don't think he's a badass either.
dan friesen
Yeah, that's debatable.
But those guys weren't rocket scientists either.
They were roughnecks.
jordan holmes
No, so...
dan friesen
They were oilmen.
jordan holmes
Is there any rocket scientist badass that you can think of?
dan friesen
I can think of one.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
He was a guy who was a contestant on the second season of Survivor.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
That wasn't the second season, it might have been like the fifth.
He was pretty cool, he was fucking hot as shit, and he was a rocket scientist.
jordan holmes
That's pretty badass.
Oh no, I can think of one.
dan friesen
He probably fucked like four people on that beach.
jordan holmes
The guy who helped work on the Manhattan Project, who was also a Satanist.
That's pretty cool.
Yeah, read up on this dude, I can't remember his name.
unidentified
So...
jordan holmes
He was a Satanist rocket scientist who got mixed in with Alistair Crowley.
dan friesen
Oh, it's easy to get mixed up with Crowley.
jordan holmes
Oh, man.
His story is absolutely bananas.
dan friesen
Do you remember what his name was?
jordan holmes
I don't.
dan friesen
I think if you search Manhattan Project Satanist.
jordan holmes
Yeah, it's probably easy to find.
dan friesen
So the other thing that I think is fucking gorgeous about this clip is in the same way when earlier he was like, that was when they were trying to get me into the club.
Maybe they weren't.
There's the same moment of insecurity here where he's like, I don't think that what we're doing is that great.
jordan holmes
That was super...
My half-assed attempt is...
dan friesen
Is the best we got?
jordan holmes
Is he okay?
dan friesen
I'm worried.
jordan holmes
The name of the rocket scientist is Jack Parsons.
dan friesen
Okay.
Oh, I know that name.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah.
jordan holmes
Read up on him.
He's fucking batshit.
unidentified
All right.
dan friesen
So you'd consider him a celebrity?
jordan holmes
I would consider him a badass.
dan friesen
But do you think he's a celebrity?
jordan holmes
Well, I didn't know his name, so probably not.
dan friesen
Well, that's good, because Alex has some bad things to say about celebrities.
jordan holmes
Okay.
alex jones
And you're nobody, because you're watching the TV, and it's some beautiful people up there that are totally anorexic, totally unhappy, got managers about to kill them, total mafia running it.
But you're supposed to make a look at that.
Well, I don't have that big house and a hundred Kardashian bags in my closet.
It's meant to make you feel small to think these people are God.
And none of it means anything.
dan friesen
See, now here's the thing.
jordan holmes
I totally agree with him on that.
dan friesen
I do too.
jordan holmes
I 100% agree with him.
dan friesen
I do too.
jordan holmes
He absolutely...
No, this is a drunken introspection.
dan friesen
It kind of is.
jordan holmes
This is him kind of just...
Like, he may be in an actual confession booth.
Like, if there was just a fucking priest on the other side of his wall, just him going like...
I don't know what it means anymore.
unidentified
My half-assed attempt is all this world has.
jordan holmes
I'm not even a badass.
dan friesen
He's like maybe half an hour of tape away from saying, I'm not sure the globalists exist.
Am I making this up?
jordan holmes
He's so close.
dan friesen
But yeah, I think it is important when he says things that are like...
Yeah, I'm into that.
jordan holmes
No, he absolutely nailed it.
dan friesen
It's important to give him some credit.
And the idea of celebrity worship is kind of a toxic idea.
jordan holmes
Absolutely.
And he absolutely nailed it whenever he likened them to gods, because that is kind of what we do.
Instead of having a pantheon, we have celebrity culture.
dan friesen
Now, at the same time, it's wrong of him necessarily to blame the celebrities for the situation they're in.
And secondarily, it's wacky to be like, they got agents about to kill them.
It's like, okay.
Well, I mean, he's gotta go wacky.
jordan holmes
He's gotta take the turn into awesome.
dan friesen
The foundation of Alex Jones' understanding of celebrity culture is that everyone who's famous has gone through, like, MKUltra conditioning, and they're all ritualistically abused.
Maybe that's not fully what he believes, but there's kernels of it.
And that they have handlers that will kill them if they get out of line.
And that's why people like Whitney Houston died.
Which, to be fair, is a little bit suspicious.
jordan holmes
Marilyn Monroe?
dan friesen
Of course.
jordan holmes
Absolutely.
She's the original, right?
dan friesen
I don't know.
There's probably people before that, but she's a big one.
Anyway, agreed on the celebrity worship stuff.
This clip is not over, and it gets weird.
jordan holmes
Excellent.
dan friesen
It is further proof that he might be drunk.
jordan holmes
It doesn't get...
Okay.
dan friesen
We get a glimpse into his psyche and what life he would like to be living.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
And it's strange.
jordan holmes
Holy shit.
Yes, please.
unidentified
Okay.
dan friesen
You might have to put the mic down because I think you're going to blurt laugh.
alex jones
It's all completely empty.
I don't say this on a power trip because I feel dirty even saying it.
I've been to the top and I've been to the bottom.
And I say I'm at the top.
When I'm at the bottom, it's all upside down.
Sitting in a farmhouse with fields around you, with your family, and growing food and being a good person and knowing your neighbors transcends all of this.
dan friesen
Now keep in mind, we've got to finish the clip.
jordan holmes
He's crying, right?
He's crying.
He's totally crying.
Okay, okay.
dan friesen
He's, well, he's doing his, what I think is fake crying, is what's going on.
jordan holmes
Alright.
That sounded like a real sniff, though.
dan friesen
He's doing the hand over the face and the, like, kind of noises, but yeah, he's presenting crying.
jordan holmes
Gotcha.
dan friesen
So anyway, here's the final part of his thought.
alex jones
And this whole system is there to destroy the destiny of the species.
dan friesen
There wasn't much left there, I thought.
I thought there was more.
It's just a farmhouse.
jordan holmes
Destroy the destiny of this species.
dan friesen
So all of us are supposed to be agrarian, apparently.
jordan holmes
Yeah.
I mean, and that's, if that's your fantasy, I mean, so to me, the first thing I thought of was he thinks of himself as Russell Crowe in the movie Gladiator.
That's what's happening.
dan friesen
Or any number of weird, old-timey fantasy movies.
jordan holmes
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
dan friesen
Can you toss me my coat safely without knocking this over?
jordan holmes
Absolutely.
dan friesen
Thank you.
jordan holmes
This is perfect podcasting right here.
Sure.
Okay, so he sounds so fucking depressed.
He does.
He sounds so sad, and that whole I've been to the top, I've been to the bottom thing seems like an alcoholic's anonymous meeting.
dan friesen
No, because he's talking about show business.
When he says, I've been to the top, he knocks the desk.
He's like, and it's right here.
jordan holmes
Oh, he's right here.
dan friesen
This is the top.
unidentified
All right.
dan friesen
And that's why he says it's upside down.
Right.
Famous.
And in the system, that's the bottom.
Where he's at, that's the top, baby.
Now, here's something that I want to propose.
A potential thing.
jordan holmes
Wait, but he's been to the bottom.
dan friesen
Yep.
jordan holmes
But he has...
dan friesen
He was in Waking Life.
unidentified
Oh, okay.
Well, that's true.
dan friesen
He was in Amerigeddon.
jordan holmes
That's true.
He was in Amerigeddon.
Three major motion pictures.
dan friesen
He's had suggestions of, we'll give you a $3 million book deal every year.
jordan holmes
Yep.
dan friesen
So, I mean, that's the bottom.
jordan holmes
Three-year contract for $10 million.
Sure.
Yeah, they offered him a lot of...
dan friesen
Alex Jones leading man material.
jordan holmes
Maybe they didn't.
Maybe they didn't give him that.
dan friesen
I don't know.
So I think this assessment that he's pretty depressed might be right on.
And here's what I want to suggest in terms of if we look at the narrative.
So he dropped this before he left for break.
Right before he left for break.
jordan holmes
This is right before he left?
unidentified
Yes.
And I think that maybe...
dan friesen
There was a piece in his head that he thought he was going to die.
I think that there's a chance that he thinks this is his last message.
jordan holmes
So you think he got high on his own supply?
dan friesen
Maybe.
jordan holmes
Okay.
I don't know.
Because we still haven't established whether or not we believe he believes what he is saying he believes.
That's true.
We're still in this labyrinthine.
Is he playing us?
Does he believe it?
Does he believe some of it?
dan friesen
It's another communist Chinese nesting doll.
jordan holmes
Exactly.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
dan friesen
The layers of belief are like just a propaganda onion.
unidentified
Yeah!
dan friesen
It's insane.
jordan holmes
I want to know more about...
I genuinely want to go to a bar with him and just listen to him talk in a...
dan friesen
I'm not sure you do.
I bet it wouldn't be fun.
jordan holmes
Maybe that's a good point.
dan friesen
Because if he acts like this when he's drunk...
jordan holmes
Well, but this is fascinating.
There's no doubt about that.
This is very fascinating to listen to him talk to.
It's a bummer.
It's very much a bummer.
dan friesen
Which is kind of why I have this little kernel of thought that maybe he thinks he's going to die.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
If you look at it through that prism, it's fascinating.
jordan holmes
Can I have one of those?
dan friesen
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's fascinating because it's like, what would your last message be if you had a flock?
And this is what he chooses to do.
If you look at it through that lens, it's super bizarre he started by shitting on Megyn Kelly.
But it makes sense why he would talk about Luby's Diner and why he would get into this sort of I wish I lived in a farmhouse and knew my neighbors.
This sort of thing kind of comes into focus a little bit.
jordan holmes
Yeah, that does.
dan friesen
There's still more of you.
jordan holmes
Why am I feeling sorry for Alex Jones now?
Why did you make this happen?
dan friesen
Because we have empathy within our hearts.
That's a good point.
Others don't.
So he goes on from there.
I cut nothing out in between those two clips, where he talks about how we should live in farmhouses and know our neighbors, into this next thought, which...
jordan holmes
Does he like the band Fish?
dan friesen
No.
He would hate them.
jordan holmes
He would hate them?
They have a good song about farmhouses.
dan friesen
Oh, that is a good song.
I like...
One of their songs.
jordan holmes
It is that one!
The one that doesn't last 45 minutes.
dan friesen
I think at this point he realized that he'd forgotten that he's doing a political show, and so he had to jump back to politics.
And he says one of the things that I think is the strangest sentence I've even heard come out of his mouth.
jordan holmes
Excellent.
dan friesen
Now get your butthole ready for this fucking thing.
alex jones
Trump doesn't believe in the golden palace as he lives in and the suits and the super hot wives.
He does that because he knows that's what you've been captured by.
And his whole life has been a plan to hide Wow.
dan friesen
Wow.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
Unpack that fucking sentence.
jordan holmes
Okay.
So this whole thing, this whole Trump thing has been a sleeper cell...
What?
unidentified
What?
dan friesen
From birth, baby.
jordan holmes
What?
dan friesen
From birth?
From birth.
jordan holmes
Okay, now, is he ascribing Trump full consciousness from birth?
dan friesen
More or less.
Well, no, the from birth, I'm being hyperbolic.
jordan holmes
No, of course, but when does he think this plan came up?
Because Trump has been rich since he was born.
dan friesen
Yes, but he's not into it.
Although every indication, all of his behaviors have indicated, he's super into it.
jordan holmes
But he's really, really good at it.
I mean, obviously, he's really good because he's had so many years at practice.
No, at making you think that he's obsessed with all this pomp and circumstance.
And the gold house.
The literal gold house.
dan friesen
Because he knows that we're trapped in materialism and that that is what's going to impress us.
That's what's going to endear him to us.
He's like, he doesn't care about that.
He's a good man.
And it's like, it's a battered spouse.
jordan holmes
Oh, that's a good point.
Because he's just now realizing that maybe Trump is not the man he thinks Trump is going to be.
dan friesen
I'm defending someone who's undefendable to some extent.
I think there is that glimmer there.
jordan holmes
Yeah.
He has to have started to figure out.
That all of the stuff that he thought Trump was going to do, he's signaling that he is not going to do any of that stuff.
dan friesen
I don't think he's starting to figure that out.
jordan holmes
Oh, you don't think so?
dan friesen
No.
In much the same way that I do believe there are forces behind the scenes that are a bit more nefarious than are being presented, I think Alex might be...
He might be compromised.
jordan holmes
Alex might be compromised.
dan friesen
He might also be compromised.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
I don't...
jordan holmes
Well, I mean, he was on Russian television.
dan friesen
Being told that he defined American males.
unidentified
Jesus.
dan friesen
The new American...
jordan holmes
What a dick suck.
dan friesen
Un-Americanism is over.
I'd love to play that clip, but it's so long and stupid.
jordan holmes
Yeah.
dan friesen
Go find it.
It's on InfoWars' YouTube channel.
jordan holmes
Excellent.
Yes, we definitely need to direct people to InfoWars' YouTube channel.
dan friesen
Don't go there.
Hey, you know what?
jordan holmes
Yeah.
dan friesen
Don't give them any more clicks.
jordan holmes
Definitely don't buy any virility pills.
That's all we ask.
dan friesen
I'm not saying for sure that he is...
And I don't want to speculate because, I mean, obviously there's no evidence of it, but his tone changed so dramatically about Trump that it does bring into question, like, what the fuck is going on?
So I was watching a clip of him earlier today.
He was talking about how Ted Cruz and Sarah Palin would be a perfect ticket.
He was talking about how he's getting, like, he literally was saying he was having wet dreams about that being a ticket.
He was like...
It's insane.
To go from that to Trump is so big a jump.
That clip was in late 2015, so it's not like that was decades ago or something like that.
It's bizarre.
There's a decent chance that the compromisingness is from Trump himself.
jordan holmes
Or from Roger Stone or something like that.
Do you think Trump gives him a lot of compliments?
dan friesen
Oh yeah.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
Oh, yeah.
jordan holmes
Now, why?
dan friesen
Because, you know, I mean, we talked about this before.
One of the ways you can compromise people or get them to, like, without any threats is to butter up their ego.
jordan holmes
Yeah, the Russian thing.
But has Trump shown any inclination towards doing that to anybody?
dan friesen
Putin.
jordan holmes
Okay, that's a good point.
dan friesen
He compliments Putin all the goddamn time.
jordan holmes
Yeah, but maybe that's because he has to.
dan friesen
Maybe.
I don't know.
jordan holmes
That's entirely possible.
dan friesen
But then also, I mean, he...
Trump was on Alex's show.
jordan holmes
Oh, he was?
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
dan friesen
He appeared on the show when he was running.
jordan holmes
No shit.
dan friesen
He said, basically, you're going to be really excited about me.
I won't let you down.
That was the sentiment.
jordan holmes
Yeah, but that's not a compliment.
dan friesen
No, but he also talked about the good work that he's doing.
And if you believe the things that Alex says, Trump called him to thank him for his help after he won.
jordan holmes
Okay.
But that could be a lie.
Well, that could be a lie.
But that does seem like something that is plausible.
dan friesen
Definitely.
jordan holmes
Although, but no.
No, Trump wouldn't have done that.
dan friesen
No, I think he did.
But we're descending way too far into the world of speculation.
unidentified
Yeah, we're speculating.
dan friesen
You're right.
jordan holmes
We need to engage this as what it is.
So it's all a plan that Trump has had is to put together this entire persona of wealth.
In order to...
dan friesen
Trick us into loving him.
jordan holmes
But why would he trick us into loving him?
Isn't the whole point...
dan friesen
As opposed to being a benevolent, decent person?
We just actually like you?
jordan holmes
But the people who don't like him are the ones that are most...
Aren't they the ones who he thinks are into celebrity culture?
dan friesen
Yeah, it's convoluted.
jordan holmes
That is convoluted.
dan friesen
No, all of it is like a weird...
Ouroboros, when you try and unpack the logic of it, it's like...
jordan holmes
Well, because there's no logic of it.
dan friesen
He pretended to be loving richness and all this to get in with the insiders, only to double-cross them at this point, now that he's president.
I think that's the underlying...
jordan holmes
So he's a full-on Manchurian candidate now.
dan friesen
Yes, but it's for the patriots.
He's a Manchurian candidate for the true Americans who aren't brainwashed by the globalists.
That's what Alex would say, I think.
jordan holmes
So, with no previous inclination that this is happening, because all of Trump's actions up until this point have been, I love Trump.
I'm a big fan of Trump.
Trump, Trump, Trump.
dan friesen
And a lot of the positions he's publicly taken have been contradictory to...
jordan holmes
Yeah.
dan friesen
The positions he has now.
jordan holmes
Well, and the whole, like, we're going to get rid of Wall Street bankers and all of the Golden Sacks people, Goldman, not Golden Sacks, but fuck it.
They might as well have Golden Sacks.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They have Golden Ball Sacks.
dan friesen
Yeah, but again, it's that confirmation bias thing where it's like, well, yeah, they work for Goldman Sachs, but they've been fighting the globalists behind the scenes.
jordan holmes
So he's got this whole everybody...
Everybody has been working towards this exact point.
dan friesen
Yes.
This is the most important moment in human history.
jordan holmes
This is a...
I mean, Trump is 70, so let's give him some credit and say Trump didn't have this plan until he was 19?
dan friesen
Maybe.
jordan holmes
Okay, so we're going to go as far back as we can reasonably go.
Trump has this plan.
At the same time...
All of these other people develop this exact same plan.
They eventually get together and figure out a way to enact this plan to bring us all to this point where they've successfully tricked everyone into worshipping money.
dan friesen
Yeah.
jordan holmes
And now, now, they're going to go back on literally their entire lives to protect the patriots.
dan friesen
The true message of America.
jordan holmes
The true message of America.
dan friesen
Yes.
jordan holmes
What is the true...
Well, we're getting to the secret of 2017, right?
dan friesen
Maybe.
Maybe we already heard it.
Maybe it's farmhouses.
jordan holmes
I mean, that is the secret, though.
That would be a great secret.
unidentified
I've never seen the Northern Lights.
dan friesen
The secret is that fish song.
jordan holmes
Welcome, this is a farmhouse.
Okay.
unidentified
We got butterfly surprise.
jordan holmes
Okay.
Okay.
dan friesen
The secret of 2017.
jordan holmes
Is that all of these people.
dan friesen
Do you remember that news radio episode, The Secret of Management?
jordan holmes
Yes.
dan friesen
It's kind of like that.
jordan holmes
I'm with stupid.
dan friesen
It reminds me of that because it's like, okay.
This is supposed to be about the secret of 2017, and what we've covered so far, if we want to give a full breakdown, is that Megyn Kelly is ugly.
Luby's Diner is where Alex Jones proved he's a good man.
Obama can criticize black people because he's black, and he doesn't want people to have cars.
Alex has been in big movies.
He hasn't.
Alex wouldn't take a billion dollars to cut his eyes out.
jordan holmes
He loves farms.
dan friesen
Celebrity worship sucks.
jordan holmes
He's not a badass rocket scientist.
dan friesen
And Trump secretly hates his own world.
jordan holmes
And it's all a plan.
dan friesen
Yeah.
jordan holmes
It's all a plan.
dan friesen
But we're not done.
There's more.
I don't really remember what this clip says.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
The label is hypocrisy.
So we'll see what that means.
alex jones
And look, I want to be completely straight with everybody.
Because I say we should be healthy and not eat GMO.
Because I say we shouldn't drink too much, or we should be strong, or we shouldn't watch too much TV.
It doesn't mean I don't do all the things I say you shouldn't do.
It just means that my soul's pointing in the right direction, and I am trying to tell you things that I know from my core are best, because I've experienced it.
dan friesen
Okay, that label was right.
jordan holmes
That is the most correct label.
Do as I say, not as I do.
dan friesen
I'm telling you what to do, but I can't fucking do it myself.
unidentified
I'm not going to do it.
jordan holmes
Look at me.
I'm turning down major movie motion pictures.
dan friesen
Yeah, I could make $10 million a year.
jordan holmes
I'm definitely not going to tell you to turn down major movie motion pictures.
alex jones
No.
jordan holmes
I'm doing it.
Not eat GMOs?
Has he ever...
Where did GMOs come from?
dan friesen
What do you mean?
jordan holmes
He said, I'm telling you not to eat GMOs.
dan friesen
Yeah, you know, you don't want to eat those fake foods.
You don't want to eat that...
jordan holmes
But where did that come from?
Does he...
dan friesen
He's a big anti-GMO guy.
Oh, okay.
jordan holmes
Because that's a globalist poison, that whole thing.
dan friesen
Trying to poison the food supply.
jordan holmes
Admittedly, Monsanto is one of the most evil organizations on the planet.
dan friesen
Sure, and I think the idea of patenting seeds is...
jordan holmes
Horrible.
dan friesen
That's next level evil.
jordan holmes
And the seeds that don't produce their own seeds.
Self-destructive seeds.
So you have to buy more seeds every year.
Which is maybe the most evil thing I can ever conceive of is like...
We're drug dealers for food.
dan friesen
Yeah, the idea of making famine more likely, or the idea of being real stingy with water, those two things I think are fundamentally, literally evil.
jordan holmes
Yeah, no, that's about as evil as you can get.
Because you're literally tying lives now to money.
No longer any subsistence at all.
It is purely...
A oligarchical money structure.
dan friesen
Well, we've seen that narrative play out over and over again.
unidentified
Yeah.
dan friesen
Tying poverty to, like, morality and being like, you're bad people because you're poor.
unidentified
Yeah.
dan friesen
This idea of, like, who's that guy who just came out and was like, if you can't afford birth control, you shouldn't have sex.
It's like, fuck off, man.
jordan holmes
Yeah, fuck that, dude.
dan friesen
What the hell kind of argument is that?
jordan holmes
That's a non-argument.
dan friesen
And at least, at least 30, 40 years ago, they would have been like, have you tried the rhythm method?
jordan holmes
At least!
Well, and even then, the pill was invented by a Catholic to just simulate the rhythm method.
dan friesen
And it would get rid- if you are legitimately against abortions, you are a fucking hypocrite if you're against birth control.
You are a massive, massive hypocrite.
jordan holmes
Yeah.
dan friesen
Because birth control and morning after pills and stuff like that would eliminate 100% abortions.
jordan holmes
Not 100%.
Not 100%.
A lot, though.
As we all learned from Jurassic Park, life finds a way.
dan friesen
Indeed.
Anyway, this is not over yet.
Not by a long shot.
This clip's weird.
That's the only setup you need.
jordan holmes
Okay.
alex jones
The eye has not seen, the ear has not heard, the mind has not dreamt of what is in the potentiality of this species if we go to the next level.
Look at everything we've done.
I love dolphins.
I love tigers.
I love elephants.
They're magic creatures.
They aren't one one hundred as magic as we are.
But the problem is, is that an elephant's majestic, strong, beautiful tiger.
It's all kind of in its spectrum.
He doesn't have those lows.
He doesn't have those highs.
See, we can go to the very bottom of hell.
We can meet the devil.
Or we can transcend and join God.
jordan holmes
I love dolphins.
dan friesen
I love them.
jordan holmes
But also, does he not know how dolphins act?
dan friesen
What do you mean?
jordan holmes
Well, I mean, like, dolphins are rapists.
dan friesen
They love fish.
jordan holmes
They do love fish.
dan friesen
Well, I mean, consent is a murky thing in the animal world.
jordan holmes
Well, I mean, they've also raped people.
dan friesen
Well, I mean, consent is a weird thing for them.
They don't have the same, you know.
jordan holmes
Well, we could all go to the bottom.
No, no, no, let's back off.
That is definitely your Kenneth Branagh dramatic speech right there.
The eyes don't see, the ears don't hear.
dan friesen
That's preaching.
jordan holmes
I love dolphins.
dan friesen
What the fuck?
And I get his sort of like, look, animals are cool, but they aren't capable of what we are.
We can be the devil.
Or we can connect with God.
It's like, it's forced profundity.
jordan holmes
That is such a weird...
That's such a weird track to go down.
dan friesen
Well, it doesn't make sense.
jordan holmes
No, and now that's super...
It's A to B. That super supports your, you know, like, this is his last missive from before Death Row.
dan friesen
Wait till these last two clips.
jordan holmes
Oh, God, yes, please.
dan friesen
All right, here we go.
This one...
jordan holmes
Give it to me, baby.
dan friesen
...is a bit paranoid.
alex jones
The spirit of evil is laying against us in an attempt to keep us from our birthright.
And all I can tell you is the enemy is smart.
These churches, when I go even near them, I almost throw up.
They are satanic.
dan friesen
So he's talking about how this is something that I actually think is really dangerous.
In the same way that they try and demonize the press and like, no, we're the real press.
unidentified
Right.
dan friesen
That's a really bad sort of mentality.
jordan holmes
Well, what they're trying to do is set themselves up as the single voice.
And when you do that, then you can just...
Well, and just like how today Trump started...
They have this whole thing where he's trying to kick out the Associated Press.
dan friesen
We're taking back the press corps!
jordan holmes
Yeah, which is like, oh, so you're literally saying that you're the only voice allowed to speak?
dan friesen
Well, Breitbart.
jordan holmes
Oh, God.
dan friesen
We're all gonna die.
We're all gonna fucking die.
jordan holmes
These churches, is he referencing specific churches?
dan friesen
Probably all of them.
But here's the thing.
jordan holmes
Well, because my first reaction to that was he's more talking about not literal churches, but like the churches to...
No, he's talking about literal churches?
Because if he's talking about like the megachurch, like those whole things...
dan friesen
He might actually be into them.
jordan holmes
Really?
But those are the most evil churches.
dan friesen
Well, we know that because we've been to them as children.
jordan holmes
Yeah, yeah.
Well, and those are all like...
dan friesen
But here's the thing.
jordan holmes
It's money.
Those are money churches.
dan friesen
But he loves prosperity.
jordan holmes
That's true.
dan friesen
But here's the thing.
jordan holmes
But also, prosperity is just a trick?
dan friesen
Maybe.
I don't know.
It's so fucking hard to unpack.
unidentified
Yeah.
dan friesen
There's inherent contradictions everywhere.
But here's the thing.
When you talk about these churches being evil and stuff like that, I think that there's a really fair point that you can make about child abuse in the Catholic Church.
I think there's fairly abusive things done to people in almost all churches in terms of brainwashing, in terms of just sort of foundational problems that organized religion has.
That's not what he's talking about.
unidentified
Right.
dan friesen
He's talking about the message of Christ has been bastardized by these churches.
But he understands the true...
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
Which is...
jordan holmes
But of course he gives zero bastardization examples.
No.
dan friesen
But it's also what, like, in the early church they would do, and that's why people rebelled against it.
It was that back in the day there would be the priest...
Who had the Holy of Holies, the center of the church where he could communicate with God and tell everyone else what God wanted them to know.
jordan holmes
Which is a great move.
dan friesen
It's a beautiful scam.
jordan holmes
It's such a good scam.
dan friesen
Yeah, and that's kind of...
jordan holmes
As the board just proved.
unidentified
Yeah.
jordan holmes
They got so fucking good at it.
dan friesen
And that's sort of...
jordan holmes
And that's why the Protestant Reformation happened.
dan friesen
Yeah, it had to.
jordan holmes
Yeah.
dan friesen
And that's sort of what he's hearkening back to.
Now, I'm not saying that he's going to be like, only I can talk to God.
But he's like...
Only I have the right view of it.
And if you agree with my view of it, then you're right, too.
jordan holmes
Because, yeah, he's got a very messianic situation going on here as well.
So not only is this his last message before death row, this is his three days before he's resurrected, too.
dan friesen
Yeah.
jordan holmes
Oh, boy.
dan friesen
The script goes on.
alex jones
The enemy is in the churches.
They're in the media.
They're in the government at the top.
Doesn't mean the government's our enemy.
But I'm here to tell you, if you simply...
Humble yourself and get before God.
The destiny is waiting, and we can have it all right now.
dan friesen
That's a creepy fucking sentence.
jordan holmes
He just said the enemy is basically everything.
dan friesen
Everything.
jordan holmes
The enemy is everything.
dan friesen
All institutions have been corrupted by the New World Order, by the Illuminati, by the globalists, by these evil forces, and they have twisted the message of Jesus.
They've twisted...
The message of freedom.
jordan holmes
Which, I mean, it's not like that's a...
Like, that's not an insane thing to say in a smaller sense.
dan friesen
Yeah.
jordan holmes
Because all of these things, you know, like, power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.
dan friesen
And beyond that, like, institutions are just collections of people.
jordan holmes
Exactly.
dan friesen
So if you have bad people in an institution that is inherently good...
The institution will turn back.
jordan holmes
Yeah, absolutely.
dan friesen
So, I mean, you can have a single church with bad people in it, and now you've got a bad church.
jordan holmes
But now I want to get into the humble yourself before God situation.
And that's how we get...
Utopia?
dan friesen
Sure.
jordan holmes
As if everybody just humbles themselves before God.
dan friesen
As Alex understands God.
jordan holmes
As Alex does himself, because as we all know, he does not ever want to imply that he is a badass rocket scientist.
dan friesen
No, never.
jordan holmes
Jesus Christ.
dan friesen
But you have to humble yourself exactly the same way he wants you to, to the same principles and same idea of God.
Or else what you're doing is just evil.
You're just being misled.
jordan holmes
It sounds like he's such an absolutist.
He is.
dan friesen
It doesn't sound that way.
jordan holmes
No, you're right.
That's a good point.
That's a good point.
And yet, at the same time, he leaves himself open.
He's a cult leader.
He's David Koresh.
That's what he's trying to be.
Oh, God.
dan friesen
No, that's not the next clip.
jordan holmes
Oh, Jesus, because if that was the next clip, I swear to God, I would have killed myself right now.
dan friesen
The Branch Davidian Church...
Incident?
I hate to call it that, but that was a foundational moment in his radicalization.
jordan holmes
Oh, really?
dan friesen
Well, he is in Texas, and Waco isn't super far from Austin.
jordan holmes
And that was a serious overstep.
Big time.
Yeah, that was horrific.
That was really fucked up.
dan friesen
The cult was really fucked up, and then what happened to them was really fucked up.
jordan holmes
Yeah, that was Janet Reno.
Directly, too, which is an even weirder fucking...
That whole thing is bananas.
dan friesen
And he has all kinds of ideas about how Clinton was personally involved and had to cover up because there were child sex rings involved and shit like that.
unidentified
Of course.
jordan holmes
Why wouldn't there be child sex rings involved?
dan friesen
The conspiracy that he's dreamt up has evolved over the years, but that was...
Waco, to him, was like...
What year was that?
Like, 92?
jordan holmes
No idea.
dan friesen
I have no idea either.
But it was 90s.
jordan holmes
I would say probably mid-90s.
dan friesen
That was when he was sort of, like, just starting to get these ideas.
That was probably when he was in junior college, if I have the timeline correct.
And that was when he was starting to get, like, read that book, that none dare call it a conspiracy.
And all this stuff starts to bubble up in his head.
And it becomes this.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
After years of pressure cooking.
This is where we find ourselves.
jordan holmes
Well, because to me, just going by our last episode, whenever we talked about the Y2K thing, he seemed more like just a conspiracy theorist.
unidentified
Yep.
jordan holmes
Just like, I am throwing all this stuff at the wall to sell you survival food.
dan friesen
And gold.
jordan holmes
And gold.
dan friesen
At that point, yeah.
jordan holmes
And instead, now, this is a full-on cult leader message.
Like, there's no...
Because in this...
Missive from the edge of the world, which, as we all know, is where Russia put the fucking radar blockers.
Sure, sure.
dan friesen
Because they go down.
jordan holmes
There's no sales pitch here.
There's no sales pitch.
dan friesen
No.
jordan holmes
Do you hear any sales pitch?
dan friesen
It's one of the longest stretches I've ever heard him talk without bringing up iodine or super male vitality.
jordan holmes
This is all fear and loathing and depression and worry.
dan friesen
It might be a snapshot of his soul.
jordan holmes
Yeah, this is really sad.
I feel really bad for him.
Because if he's in this headspace, and it sounds like he really is.
dan friesen
It does seem that way.
jordan holmes
Like, this is the first time I've heard him and I've thought...
This rings so genuine that he believes every single thing he's saying.
dan friesen
I also should say, if you were watching the video, you would see that the crying is a little fake.
jordan holmes
Maybe his body language doesn't support the...
dan friesen
No, I'm not disagreeing with your conclusion, but if you watch the body language, there is a bit of showmanship to it, too.
unidentified
Okay.
jordan holmes
Well, but he's a natural showman.
I don't know if he could turn that off if he wanted to.
dan friesen
After 22 years in April?
jordan holmes
Right.
dan friesen
Oh.
But I think that what is important that we can take away is that, like, this is kind of what happens.
When you go down these roads to whole hog, these conspiracy roads, what ends up happening is it evolves.
jordan holmes
When you wear a mask long enough, the mask becomes your face.
dan friesen
Sure.
But it's more than that.
You'll also wear an outfit.
It's not just the mask anymore.
It becomes something different.
jordan holmes
In the movie of Alex Jones' life, one, who plays him?
dan friesen
Oh.
jordan holmes
Two, what does he wear?
dan friesen
I don't know who plays him.
That's crazy.
jordan holmes
Because we're talking about somebody with a low...
We're talking about...
I would say, if it were me, Sir Anthony Hopkins would crush it.
dan friesen
Too old.
jordan holmes
Too old?
No way.
Anthony Hopkins can play any age.
dan friesen
You've got a lot of skill.
I would say let's fuck around.
jordan holmes
Meryl Streep?
dan friesen
I say we fuck around.
Okay, Alex always talks about how back in the day he was a great athlete and he could have gone pro.
jordan holmes
Brad Pitt.
dan friesen
No.
jordan holmes
Brad Pitt as a character actor, Brad Pitt.
unidentified
No.
jordan holmes
Not leading man Brad Pitt.
dan friesen
We gotta go younger.
I'm saying Channing fucking Taylor.
Let's stroke Alex's ego.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
We have to get him to sign off on this.
unidentified
That's true.
That's true.
dan friesen
So we get the guy from fucking Magic Mike to play you.
You sign on to this docu-pic?
unidentified
I'm in.
dan friesen
I'm in.
We get him.
I think he can do voices.
jordan holmes
Janning Tatum?
dan friesen
Yeah.
If not...
He just lip syncs it.
We get a Domian to do it.
jordan holmes
Yeah, that would work.
A Domian would do this voice to perfection.
dan friesen
Oh, there's no doubt.
He probably already does.
jordan holmes
That's true.
Well, this isn't that far from Jesse Ventura.
dan friesen
Or it's like Ventura plus Lycus equals Alex Jones.
jordan holmes
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
dan friesen
Anyway, Alex has one last bit here.
And I want to be clear.
I cut out very little.
And I made sure to not cut out anything.
Between these clips that has to do with context.
Nothing was lost in the shuffle.
If you watch the video, it's a little bit longer, but I have not betrayed the spirit of this in any way.
jordan holmes
Okay.
All right.
All right.
dan friesen
I just have to say that because, again, it's this whole internalizing, I have to treat this fairly.
jordan holmes
Yeah.
dan friesen
Anyway.
jordan holmes
That's what we're trying so fucking hard to do, and it's so hard.
dan friesen
Here's his farewell to this.
Clip.
Or to this whole video.
And by the end of it, we'll see if we know the secret to 2017.
jordan holmes
I forgot about that entirely!
I forgot about the secret entirely!
alex jones
And in that experiment, in that turning our will over to everything that's good and everything that came before us, we transcend the mortal bonds and join God.
And this whole world is about trying to suppress that.
So in my beginning transmission of 2017, I commit to you with all my warts and all our failings that I will always be true to you and that I know your spirit is a spirit that will chain the devil and restore humanity so that our species not fail because the enemy is a spirit of death.
Come to kill this planet and everything on it and we are the guardians of this planet.
And if we could prove ourselves at this level, it's a stairway to heaven.
The fulfillment of human destiny is in your hands.
And that's all I can tell you.
dan friesen
And that's the end of the video.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
That's pretty fucking...
jordan holmes
Well, after he said Guardians, I think we know that we're talking about Chris Pratt for him now.
I think he would do a great job there.
dan friesen
His head shape is bright.
That's what I was thinking of with Tatum.
Tatum looks good bald.
unidentified
That's true.
jordan holmes
Oh, is Alex Jones bald?
dan friesen
No, he's not bald, but he has short, cropped hair.
jordan holmes
Okay.
dan friesen
I think Chris Pratt's got too robust a head.
jordan holmes
I think we're getting too bogged down into Chris Pratt's appearance.
Now we're Megan Kelly and Chris Pratt.
dan friesen
Off-air, we'll fantasy book this movie.
jordan holmes
Okay, all right.
dan friesen
But you took some notes there.
jordan holmes
Yeah, so that sounds so much like the prayers that my dad...
dan friesen
The prayers of our fathers.
jordan holmes
Yeah, that's such a classic, you know, if you were raised in a kind of fringe church in the 80s, which clearly he was.
dan friesen
Alex?
jordan holmes
Yeah.
dan friesen
I'm not sure about that.
He might have been.
jordan holmes
He's got all the language.
Yeah, but he might have adopted it later.
dan friesen
He might have adopted it since his sort of reformation.
jordan holmes
Well, if my dad's still doing it, it's not like it's gone away.
unidentified
No.
jordan holmes
You can pick it up in a lot of different places.
But that's such the language of, at the same time, trying to be humble while giving yourself all of the power.
dan friesen
Well, but it's like...
jordan holmes
So it's like, you...
You need to humble yourself before God.
dan friesen
Because I already have.
jordan holmes
This species is dependent on you.
But God has nothing to do with it until you're involved.
So it's such a weird, like, turn your will over to God, but God doesn't have any control over it.
It's such a weird way of thinking about it.
Especially in terms of, you know, your hard biblical Calvinism.
It's fascinating.
unidentified
It is.
jordan holmes
Also, the fact that he said species really bums me out there.
dan friesen
Yeah.
jordan holmes
Because that's not what he's really going for.
dan friesen
No.
jordan holmes
He doesn't understand what a species is.
dan friesen
Nope.
He's not a scientist.
He's just a man of feelings.
jordan holmes
He's not a badass evolutionary scientist.
unidentified
Nope.
jordan holmes
Which, as we all know, there are tons of those.
dan friesen
But we also were...
I mean, your assessment is not taking into account that he's, again, crying at the end here.
jordan holmes
I...
dan friesen
And when he's talking at the end here, a tear does go down.
jordan holmes
No, it does?
dan friesen
Yeah, he has one tear.
jordan holmes
Like the Italian guy who played the Native American in that commercial?
dan friesen
Indeed.
Exactly like that member of our species.
jordan holmes
That species member.
Yeah.
dan friesen
So, what to you is the secret of 2017?
jordan holmes
I always forget that part.
dan friesen
I need to know what you think.
You have a lot of scribbled notes.
jordan holmes
Yes.
dan friesen
We've listened to, I mean, we're at an hour 20 here or so of breaking down this video.
What do I think is the secret of 2017?
I promise I didn't edit out the actual secret.
jordan holmes
So this isn't some game show now where now I'm guessing at the end.
unidentified
No.
jordan holmes
We're not doing the match game.
dan friesen
Turns out it's by peanut butter.
Doesn't go bad in full protein.
jordan holmes
The secret of 2017 is...
Buy these virility pills.
dan friesen
But he even signed off without doing a sales pitch at the end.
jordan holmes
There was no sales pitch there.
dan friesen
And he didn't even throw in at the end like a support the network or anything like that.
jordan holmes
Okay, so now I'm going for a unified field theory of all the batshit things that he said.
dan friesen
It's very disjointed, but what is the connectivity?
jordan holmes
See, now...
Now I feel like I'm the guy from Zodiac.
I'm trying to put together all of these weird cryptic notes and creating a theory that I don't even know.
I'm putting pictures up on the wall, tying them together like Sherlock.
dan friesen
By the end, if we keep doing this podcast, eventually I'm going to have to buy a weird chalkboard for us to diagram stuff.
jordan holmes
This is going to have to become a serious Glenn Beck segment.
Oh man, okay.
The enemy is everything.
unidentified
Yes.
jordan holmes
The church, the government.
He can't adhere to the things that he tells you to adhere to.
unidentified
Yes.
jordan holmes
He can only point to...
So he's calling himself John the Baptist here.
His gut.
Not Jesus.
dan friesen
His gut is unfailable.
unidentified
Right.
dan friesen
He knows the truth.
jordan holmes
Unfailable.
dan friesen
But he can't live it.
jordan holmes
He never has diarrhea.
It's an unfailable gut.
He's failed.
He's really depressed.
Maybe that's the secret.
That could be the secret of 2017.
I am bummed out.
I want out.
Maybe that is it.
Because it seems like...
Here's what I'm putting all this together as.
dan friesen
I hope it's the same thought I have.
I just had a fucking revelation.
jordan holmes
It is that he doesn't understand how to win.
dan friesen
After winning?
jordan holmes
After winning.
dan friesen
Yeah.
jordan holmes
Because the whole thing is him building an opposition.
So now he has lost the opposition.
He doesn't have anything to fight against anymore.
So he's really depressed because the government that he has been railing against is now what he wants you to believe in.
dan friesen
Yeah.
jordan holmes
Except he spent 22 years telling you that they're all the globalists.
dan friesen
I think my response...
jordan holmes
Did his purpose...
Did he fulfill his purpose and now he doesn't know what to do with his life?
dan friesen
My response to that, I think, is bingo.
That's really what I think the message of this is.
jordan holmes
And it reminds me of a...
dan friesen
I don't know who I am now.
jordan holmes
Yeah, it reminds me of the Dana Gould bit about astronauts and how if you've gone to the moon, everything after that must be completely a letdown.
Sure.
Like, oh man, I'm getting these AA batteries.
unidentified
I used these when I went to the fucking moon!
dan friesen
Sure.
I mean, yeah, it's...
But I think that's an unfair comparison with that bit because I don't really think he's achieved that much.
jordan holmes
No.
dan friesen
I think...
jordan holmes
To him, well, one...
He ended anti-Americanism.
dan friesen
Well, that's true.
jordan holmes
So he's achieved a lot more than even the...
dan friesen
If you believe literal Russian propagandists...
jordan holmes
Even the astronauts didn't end anti-Americanism.
dan friesen
No, and we've had a fucking space station with them for 20 years.
jordan holmes
And Space Command lives up there.
dan friesen
Space Command!
jordan holmes
Space Command!
dan friesen
I think that there's also a tinge of buyer's remorse thrown in there.
unidentified
Okay.
dan friesen
There's a little bit of a, I didn't want it to go this way.
Now, I might be putting too much on him, but there is, I think, fuck, I didn't want to win, or something like that.
There is just a, like, we gotta play a different game now.
jordan holmes
We gotta play a different game.
How do you sell disaster supplies?
That's what's going on with the GOP.
dan friesen
How do you sell disaster supplies when you're winning?
jordan holmes
It's about to win.
Yeah, we're winning, so what are we gonna do with disaster supplies?
dan friesen
The only way to do it is now change up the entire narrative to be like, Well, you know who's good at playing from the bottom?
Globalists.
There's no other way to do it.
jordan holmes
Yeah, but now you're going from opposition to defense.
So he's going from offense to defense.
dan friesen
But it also turns into, when you're this sort of worldview, defense becomes witch hunts.
jordan holmes
Yeah.
dan friesen
And that's something that I think is particularly scary.
I think it's a short jump.
jordan holmes
You don't remember McCarthyism fondly?
unidentified
No.
jordan holmes
I'm pretty sure that I read a book where I was like, that was a great time!
dan friesen
Who wrote that?
Rob Dew?
jordan holmes
Leanne McAdont.
Alright, guys.
I'm gonna get out of here.
I gotta go.
dan friesen
We'd like to say you're welcome for explaining to you guys the secret of 2017.
If you have any different interpretations of what the secret might be, please reach out to us at knowledge underscore fight on Twitter.
Also, you can send us an email directly at knowledgefight at gmail.com.
jordan holmes
And we are on iTunes and YouTube and the like.
dan friesen
Yep, absolutely.
I hope you guys enjoy it.
Jordan, this has been a lot of fun.
jordan holmes
It has been an immense pleasure to discover the secret of 2017.
dan friesen
We'll be back later this week, so please get excited for that.
And, hey, welcome back to the studio, Alex.
I'm excited to hear what you got to say.
jordan holmes
I love you.
dan friesen
Love to hear about your trip.
I'd love to know if you're feeling better, because...
jordan holmes
You sounded really bummed.
dan friesen
The shit was bleak, and even if we are kind of, we don't see eye to eye, we still care about you as a person, Alex.
Catch you next time.
alex jones
Andy in Kansas, you're on the air.
Thanks for holding.
unidentified
Hello, Alex.
jordan holmes
I'm a first-time caller.
unidentified
I'm a huge fan.
I love your work.
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