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Dec. 23, 2025 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:50:46
Joe Rogan Experience #2429 - Tom Segura

Tom Segura details his 80-pound weight loss—from 265 lbs to 187 lbs—via morning workouts, high-protein meals (50g each), and carb cycling, contrasting past nighttime training with disciplined routines shaping kids’ resilience. Skeptical of mainstream archaeology, he questions Machu Picchu’s construction timeline and cites Oregon’s 18,250-year-old stone walls, while debating tridactyl mummies’ origins. Epstein’s files reveal delayed transparency under the 2025 act, with Clinton, Gates, and homicide theories surfacing amid political speculation. Wealth inequality critiques—from Patagonia’s founder to Saudi Arabia’s censored comedy fund—culminate in calls for better distribution to ease public resentment, ending with his Netflix special Teacher premiering Christmas Eve. [Automatically generated summary]

Participants
Main
j
joe rogan
01:32:01
t
tom segura
01:11:02
Appearances
b
bill gates
00:56
c
claire danes
00:37
j
jamie vernon
01:26
Clips
j
judy woodruff
pbs 00:19
|

Speaker Time Text
unidentified
Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!
The Joe Rogan experience.
joe rogan
Train my day, Joe Rogan.
unidentified
Podcast by night, all day.
joe rogan
Is that hat your croissant with croissant company?
Bro, those croissants are real fucking pretty.
tom segura
Bro, the shit, aren't they?
joe rogan
I was going to eat one bite.
This is what's left.
tom segura
I was like, I'll have a bite.
They're so good, man.
joe rogan
Too buttery.
How can a guy lose as much weight as you lost and then open up a fucking baker?
tom segura
Because I started with them when I was so fat.
It was perfect.
Like, I fell in love with that place when I was close to my fattest.
And I was like, this is a match made in heaven.
joe rogan
How big were you when you were your fattest?
tom segura
The most I ever weighed was 265.
joe rogan
Holy shit.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And what do you know?
tom segura
187.
joe rogan
That's insane.
tom segura
Yeah, so that's like, what, 80 pounds?
joe rogan
What does that feel like on your joints?
tom segura
Feels great.
I feel so much better.
I feel so much better.
joe rogan
Of course.
tom segura
I'm lifting four days a week.
unidentified
Wow.
tom segura
Yeah, I just lifted this morning.
joe rogan
Do you have a trainer?
tom segura
Do you keep going solo?
unidentified
No?
tom segura
Yeah.
Meets me there every day or every day that I'm there.
joe rogan
Do you do that for accountability?
tom segura
You know, I just realized that I mean, I've trained enough now where I can do a good workout on my own, but I always feel like it's never as good as when he's there.
It's all, you know what I mean?
Like, it's always a little bit harder, and I always feel like it's a better workout when he's there.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
Yeah.
He pushes me, Sean.
joe rogan
So you've been with him for a while?
tom segura
I've been with him for, yeah, for years.
The other difference, the big difference is that I've been, I dialed in not with croissants, but I've dialed in my nutrition a lot more.
Like I eat four times a day now, and I'm on top of my macros.
You know what I mean?
Things I've never done before.
joe rogan
Why do you ever four times a day?
tom segura
This nutritionist just gave me this plan and I've been just doing it.
joe rogan
Interesting.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
So I eat 50 grams of protein at every, at each of those four, you know, four different meals.
joe rogan
Okay.
tom segura
So I end up getting 200 grams.
joe rogan
So you do smaller meals that are lower in calories but high in protein?
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
Yep.
And then I also carb cycle.
So like I know on a and like if like today was legs, I know that it's a more intense workout.
I'll do the full portions of these carbs, right?
Which sometimes is sweet potatoes or white rice.
But on a day, if I'm like, if it's a rest day or I'm doing like less intense workout, I'll dial back how much of those carbs I eat.
joe rogan
Hmm.
Do you take a pre-workout?
tom segura
I have a pre-workout meal every time.
So like in the morning, I've been getting up at 5.30.
So I get it.
unidentified
What?
tom segura
Yeah.
What the fuck are you doing, man?
I mean, because I've been in the writer's room on season two of Bad Thoughts.
So I've been getting up at 5.30.
And my pre-workout meal are these like, I guess it's like musili kind of like grains, you know, with some honey, a little bit of almond butter, and then I have Greek yogurt with a scoop of whey protein.
So that's my pre-workout.
And after that, I go to the gym.
And then during the workout, I sometimes have an intra-workout shake.
Sometimes I just.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
Yeah.
unidentified
Wow.
tom segura
But I mean, I feel much better doing it that way.
unidentified
I do.
tom segura
And then, and then I eat again about an hour after that workout.
So that's my second meal.
Then a few hours later is three.
And then my fourth one is like around six.
joe rogan
So you have your second meal by the time it's like 8 a.m.
tom segura
Maybe like 9.30.
Yeah.
That's so crazy.
Yeah.
joe rogan
What time are you going to bed at night?
tom segura
Well, that's the key to this whole fucking thing.
That's the key to the whole thing is that you go, to do this, I got to do this.
And to do that, I got to do that.
And to do that, I got to get up early.
And the only way I can get up early is by staying on top of when I go to bed.
You know, when we met, I was going to bed at 3 o'clock in the morning.
joe rogan
Normal stuff.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
And I would get up at like 11.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like a normal person.
tom segura
Like a normal person.
And then I would say in the last decade, a lot of my bedtime kind of shifted to like around midnight.
And then it shifted to like a little bit like closer to 11.
In the last few months, like sticking to this plan, I've started to go to bed sometimes at like 10, 10.30, which for me is like very early.
It's very hard.
It's the biggest challenge for me has been to get to bed.
joe rogan
That's hard for me.
That's hard.
That would be hard.
tom segura
But I also, I don't think I'm going to be getting up at 5.30 forever.
joe rogan
This is just writer's room stuff.
tom segura
This is just writer's room stuff.
joe rogan
Normally you get up when, 8?
7.
tom segura
Yeah, between 7 and 8.
joe rogan
That's reasonable.
tom segura
That's reasonable.
And I don't have to go to bed at 10 to do that.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
When my kids are in school, I get up at 7-ish.
And then, yeah, usually between 7 and 7.15, depending on when they have to leave.
And then when they're not in school, like right now, today I got up at 8, which is pretty normal.
tom segura
8 feels good.
It's pretty normal for me.
I got up around 7.30 today.
joe rogan
If I don't work out first thing in the morning, though, it used to be I used to like working out at night because in jiu-jitsu I'd always like doing it at night.
Morning classes were tough.
Tough to get in there early and train.
And also you don't feel warmed up and you fucking feel like everything's going to get hurt.
Yeah.
But nighttime, I can't work out anymore.
I can't do that.
tom segura
I've completely changed in this regard.
joe rogan
I'm too busy.
tom segura
I used to say, well, I will say that like, I feel like my strongest between like 11 and 1, like the middle of the day, is when if you were like, draw up an ideal strength time, that's when I feel like I'm like, oh, that's when I'm at my best.
joe rogan
Why do you think that is?
tom segura
I think you're fired up.
joe rogan
You're warmed up.
tom segura
And you're ready to go.
And I feel good.
joe rogan
You've got a little food.
tom segura
I feel good.
But I've pivoted to now really enjoying these first thing in the morning workouts where I feel like my whole day is set when I have those workouts.
And I also realize that if I don't, I feel so much different throughout that day.
joe rogan
Right.
That's a good factor.
One, you get that first big win in the morning.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You got it done.
You got good momentum going.
But also you're more calm.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's the big one.
That's the big one.
tom segura
And focused, right?
joe rogan
When we did that sober October thing, we were all doing crazy cardio.
One thing you said to me that really rang true is like, it totally silences all that internal chatter.
tom segura
Yeah, it does.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
Yeah.
And I think one thing about the writer's room is that, you know, you have to be alert.
You have to be focused.
unidentified
Right.
tom segura
You can't have all this shit, like the noise going on.
So it was a great way to show up to the room is like you have that win, you've done something hard and now I'm ready to work.
joe rogan
Yeah.
For me, it's not just a hard workout, but generally has to have some cardio in it.
unidentified
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah.
Cardio is what really shuts off all the chatter.
tom segura
It is different than the weightlifting.
joe rogan
Yeah, weightlifting is great.
Weightlifting makes you feel better.
Like you feel like energized.
You feel like, oh, I feel good.
But cardio is like, I don't give a fuck.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like when I have a really hard cardio session, it's like, I don't give a fuck.
I don't give a fuck what's going on.
Everything's fine.
tom segura
I noticed the difference between, because I was doing 45-minute cardio sessions and when I upped it to an hour, the 15-minute difference for me felt like another hour.
Like pushing it 15 more minutes was really, really hard.
joe rogan
Well, that's when it's hardest, when you're tired already.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know, when you're extending your cardio capability.
That's fucking hard, man.
That was hard.
tom segura
It's so important.
It's so important to do.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
It's everything.
You want to wonder why so many people are out of their fucking minds.
That's a big part of it.
They don't work hard.
tom segura
I got so obsessed with some of these data and metrics about this.
joe rogan
Oh.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
That becomes a problem.
tom segura
Yeah, well, I don't mean like that like I have to do, but like just the data that people are talking about as people age of like if you're not lifting and your bone density goes down or like your VO2 Mac, like learning about that stuff and going like, if you don't start thinking about that at a certain age, one day it will be like so out of your grasp.
joe rogan
I was just having this conversation with Shane Gillis.
I was like, you have to realize like 20 years goes by so fast because I'm 20 years older than him.
And I'm like, 20 years ago, I, like, that happened.
It was yesterday.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And all of a sudden I'm 58.
And 20 years from now, I'm 78.
That's dead.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, that's almost dead.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, and you can either be almost dead and look like RFK Jr., or you could be almost dead and look like Trump.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's kind of the same thing.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
They're in the same neighborhood.
tom segura
And you have a choice.
joe rogan
Trump's only seven or eight years older than RFK Jr.
tom segura
He doesn't look like it.
joe rogan
No.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And that guy did heroin for 14 fucking years.
tom segura
Who did?
joe rogan
RFK Jr.
tom segura
He did heroin?
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
After his dad was assassinated.
tom segura
He was a heroin addict?
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
No, shit.
joe rogan
Yeah.
When he was young.
People give him a hard time about it.
Like, hey, yo, his fucking dad got shot in front of him.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
His dad, who was running for president, got assassinated.
Yeah, that's when he was a little kid.
Come on.
You wouldn't do heroin?
You have no idea what you would do.
And his uncle got shot in the head in front of the whole world.
tom segura
Yeah, I mean.
joe rogan
Well, not in front of the whole world.
It wasn't in front of the whole world until several years later, but.
tom segura
He looks incredible.
joe rogan
He looks great.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
He did 20 chin-ups in a row.
tom segura
I saw that.
joe rogan
At 70, whatever the fuck he is.
tom segura
That's very impressive.
joe rogan
That's insane.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Modern science for the win.
tom segura
Yeah.
Now, yeah.
I mean, yeah.
I think about it all the time.
Because I think the same way.
20 years goes by real fast.
Like that.
joe rogan
It's so fast, dude.
Before you know it.
It's like there's guys that like never got going with their life or they got distracted with stupid shit and they never really like focused on whatever it is they do with their careers.
And then you see them 20 years later, they're in their late 40s and they're fucking scrambling and depressed.
tom segura
I'm friends with so many of them, dude.
joe rogan
Oh, it's a problem.
tom segura
I'm friends with so many of them.
Like I'm in that age pocket where it's like a lot of my friends are in that like.
joe rogan
They never did anything.
tom segura
Yeah, and they're really, they're really scrambling.
joe rogan
Yeah, and they're really desperate.
And then they want help, which is like, hey, I can't fucking hold your hand.
tom segura
Exactly.
joe rogan
You did this to yourself.
Like, you should have paid attention to what we were all doing all those years ago.
tom segura
It's unnerving, too, when some of them, like, I have friends who are like, you're like, dude, like, we're in our 40s.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
And you're, you're, and the thing is, the worst part about it is you realize how much of it is dictated by fear.
Like, they're just scared to do things.
It's like someone who's scared to step in the gym or something, right?
You're like, you're just scared to get your, to take that step to do something.
joe rogan
Scared to be uncomfortable is what it is.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's the thing.
It's like most people are scared to be uncomfortable.
So they're scared to sit down in front of their computer and write.
They don't write because they're scared to be, I don't, the writing thing is the weirdest one.
tom segura
Fear of the unknown.
joe rogan
Because I don't understand why that's even uncomfortable.
But it is.
I get it.
It is.
I avoid it sometimes.
I come home and I'm like, I really should write, but I could watch YouTube.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And then I'll fucking sit in front of the TV.
I'm like, I earned this.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And then I'll watch YouTube.
tom segura
Anything to not do it.
You look for distractions.
joe rogan
The nights that I come home and I write, though, I always feel way better.
I feel better going to bed and I feel better at getting up.
I'm like, I did what I was supposed to do.
Yay.
Yay.
Everything's going good.
tom segura
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah.
joe rogan
When I just watch some fucking random YouTube video on ancient history, it's like, okay, why am I falling asleep at two in the morning and forcing myself to finish this fucking hour and 50-minute documentary on Syria?
tom segura
I do it fucking all the time.
I'm like, here's another murder doc.
joe rogan
I'll just watch this.
tom segura
Oh my God, it's all I watch.
You know what I found out too?
I was, I found out in the writer's room, and I didn't realize this until I talked it out.
We were talking about, you know, like, because sometimes you're like, what about this idea?
unidentified
Right.
tom segura
Right.
And someone will be like, well, you know, on that episode of like 30 Rock or something, and I'll be like, oh, I never saw that.
And they go, you never saw 30 Rock?
And I'm like, no.
And then they go, oh, well, you know, like on The Office.
I go, I never watched The Office.
I'm like, you didn't watch The Office.
And then I started talking.
I was like, oh, I've never watched any of these shows.
And they're like, what?
And I go, yeah, I guess I just don't like comedy.
And they're like, what are you talking about?
I was like, dude, I've never seen The Office, 30 Rock, Sunny, all like the huge comedies of the last 20 years.
I've never seen them.
I haven't seen them either.
And I'm like, well, I go, my ration, my thinking is not that I don't like comedy.
It's that it's like, you know, you, I'm on stage all the time.
I'm doing comedy.
My friends are comedians.
We're talking comedy.
When I get home and I want to watch something, I don't want to watch that.
I want to watch something else.
joe rogan
Exactly.
That's exactly how I think of it.
tom segura
I want to watch dramas, thrillers.
joe rogan
Something's interesting.
tom segura
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
Stranger things.
tom segura
Yeah, so I just end up never.
They're like, this is pretty crazy, though.
You're in a room of comedy writers and you've never watched an episode of comedy.
I'm like, yeah, I guess that is kind of weird.
joe rogan
I watched them when I was on one.
You know, I watched other sitcoms to see what they were doing differently.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because it was kind of a new thing for me.
tom segura
Yeah, that makes sense.
joe rogan
But after I was off news radio, I swore off sitcoms too.
And but then I did start watching some of them with my family.
One of them I watched that I really used to shit on and I was wrong is the Big Bang Theory.
tom segura
Really?
joe rogan
Fucking good show, man.
tom segura
I mean, it was a massive hit.
joe rogan
I was like, how is this stupid show a massive hit?
But it was because I had seen clips online that were like retakes that they did without the laugh track.
But if you know, if you ever worked on a sitcom, you know what retakes are.
Retakes are brutal.
Like you didn't get it right or the writers decided to change something or there's whatever, for whatever reason, you do a bunch of them after the audience leaves.
So I saw those without the laugh track and I was like, what is this?
This is not funny.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
This is terrible.
I'm like, what does this like mundane, boring, fucking drone you to sleep?
Then I watched the show, the actual show itself.
I was like, oh, this is a really well-written sitcom.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And it's interesting because the main guy's autistic and he's like totally socially retarded.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
And it's funny, though.
But it's all about nerds.
It's like, it's a good show.
tom segura
I mean, something that has that, something that gets that popular.
Yeah.
Like, this has to have something.
joe rogan
But that's like stuff that I watch with my family.
Like, there's certain shows that I only watch with my family.
tom segura
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah, that's one of them.
tom segura
You know what just happened with our kids?
Is they started, you know, they had their movies that they always watched.
And little kids have just a capacity to re-watch this shit all the time.
So you're like, Jesus Christ.
joe rogan
I watched Frozen like 80 times.
tom segura
Oh, my God.
So many fucking times we watched that.
We watched Home Alone a fucking 145 times, right?
Which is, I think a lot of people do.
But then all of a sudden, we were like, oh, here's The Simpsons.
And what we did was we started with episode one of The Simpsons.
joe rogan
Oh, wow.
tom segura
And what I was so surprised by, I was, because I was taken by just how good the old one, like, we're watching like season one, season two, like the really old ones, where everything, where it took 18 months to produce an episode.
You know, they had to hand draw everything.
The writing and the jokes in them are so good and so funny.
And you're watching these little dudes like get the jokes and they're, and it's really funny.
I mean, it's really good.
But we started from the beginning.
joe rogan
How many episodes is The Simpsons still on the air, right?
tom segura
I think so.
It's like season fucking 42 or some shit.
joe rogan
That is so wild.
And no one gets old.
tom segura
No.
joe rogan
These characters are just cartoons.
tom segura
And now they can do them timely because of technology.
So now they can like produce it in a week or something.
joe rogan
Oh, that's crazy.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's crazy.
tom segura
Because they don't have to hand draw it.
joe rogan
Didn't they like farm it all out to fucking South America or something?
tom segura
I'm sure.
joe rogan
Yeah, I think they did.
tom segura
Just some Indian people.
joe rogan
I think they taught some Asian people how to draw.
tom segura
How to do it.
I mean, there's something also that you appreciate about the old animation that's cool.
joe rogan
Crunk clunky.
tom segura
Yeah.
It doesn't exist in the, but it's still, it's so funny.
joe rogan
Like the first South Park.
The first South Park was super clunky.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
What would Barry and Boitano do?
tom segura
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then they also embraced. that it's supposed to look this certain way, right?
Like they, that whole thing was like, it's, it was, they embraced that like the look is not like slick.
joe rogan
Right.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
I mean, it's also you can get away with so much more when it's not even remotely realistic.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like the time that gay teacher stuffed Paris Hilton up his ass.
Like, how could you do that on any other show?
Imagine if you said, we're going to do South Park, but with CGI and Real People.
They're like, what the fuck are you talking about?
tom segura
What are you talking about?
joe rogan
Kenny's going to die in every episode violently and everyone's going to laugh.
unidentified
What?
tom segura
No.
Yeah.
unidentified
What?
joe rogan
His brain splattered all over the concrete.
Oh my God, you killed Kenny.
What?
tom segura
Yeah.
It has to be.
joe rogan
No, it has to be fake.
tom segura
Fake, yeah.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
And it has to be fake kids.
tom segura
Totally.
joe rogan
Because kids are kind of, they bounce off stuff and they get hurt.
It's kind of funny.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
They do.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
They just fucking, they don't get hurt as easy.
When they get hurt, it's like not that big a deal.
They bang into things.
Whereas an old person falls in the bathtub, they break a hip and they're dead in a year.
tom segura
My youngest, like, slow falls all the time.
And we're like, what the fuck is going on?
And he's never hurt.
joe rogan
He's practicing.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
He's just like, and he tumbles.
joe rogan
Yeah, well, they're fucking made out of, like, they're flexible.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
All pliable and shit.
tom segura
Yeah, the way they, even like the way a kid can sit.
And you're like, how are your legs doing that?
joe rogan
After a while, shit gets stiff.
tom segura
It gets real stiff.
joe rogan
Do you ever do any yoga?
tom segura
I did.
I haven't in a while.
joe rogan
Well, remember when we did it?
tom segura
I did.
joe rogan
It was our first challenge, right?
tom segura
I do.
And that was awesome.
And then a few, like a year or two ago, I started doing some yoga here.
And it was so challenging.
I was like, fuck, this is really hard.
joe rogan
Was it the same kind or different?
tom segura
Just like, no.
It wasn't a hot yoga.
It was just like, you know, you're going through all the positions.
I don't know how to even describe it.
joe rogan
Poses.
tom segura
Yeah, all the poses.
And I was like, man, I was, you know, shaking in certain poses.
And it was really challenging.
And I have not done it in a while.
I probably should do it again.
joe rogan
Was it the same kind of yoga, though?
Or were the poses different?
tom segura
No, the same kind of poses.
The same kind of.
Yeah, just not hot.
Hot's the way to go, though.
Hot's rad.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
It's harder.
It is.
I remember, I did do a hot yoga here in Austin like in July.
I was like, this isn't much different than outside right now.
And I remember feeling so relieved when I saw somebody tap out of the room before me.
I was like, I can't tap out first.
Just watching people.
Some guy was like, I got to get it.
I was like, all right, I'm going to get out of here in a minute.
joe rogan
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joe rogan
I remember the first time I did it, I was like, I can't believe how hard this is.
I can't believe all these little old ladies are walking into this thing with this rolled-up foam mat.
And I'm like, you guys think you're working out?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Meanwhile, they're working out way harder than me.
I was literally getting strangled.
And it was easier.
I was going to jiu-jitsu and I was getting fucking arm barred.
And that was easier than going and fucking stretching my feet out with these little old ladies.
tom segura
And seeing how these mother, like, you'll see somebody who's like physicality is not like that note.
Like they look fit, let's say, but you're not like, holy shit, look at this person.
And the way that they're holding themselves up on their hands and their whole body's sitting on, you know what I mean?
Like their knees are on their elbows.
You're like, how the fuck are you holding yourself like this?
joe rogan
Yeah, and very impressive.
It's a weird, it's an impressive thing that you only know, it's impressive when you try to do it.
tom segura
This is why I have this theory that everybody should try things like that jujitsu, a boxing class, even if you go one time, just once.
joe rogan
Right.
tom segura
To have, just so you have an idea of what you don't know.
unidentified
Right.
tom segura
You know what I mean?
Because like every dude thinks he can fight.
joe rogan
Right.
tom segura
You know, and I'm like, I know my limits so much in that regard because I've been in classes.
I've done classes.
So I know so much.
I'm not an expert, but I know how much I don't know.
You know what I mean?
Like, I've rolled on, I've done jiu-jitsu classes.
I've done boxing classes.
And I'm like, oh, these guys can fucking kill me.
But you don't know that before you do it.
joe rogan
Right.
tom segura
You don't know how hard that shit is.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
You don't know.
I mean, like, boxing is a funny one because people think they're like, I could throw a punch.
You're like, you don't even have the fundamentals of how to throw a punch.
You don't even know how to throw a punch technically.
joe rogan
Not only that, how many can you throw before you're totally exhausted?
tom segura
Oh, the exhaustion is real crazy.
joe rogan
How many you got in your tank?
You got 10?
tom segura
A lot of punches a lot.
People like throw, they throw haymakers and they think they're throwing it.
You're like, that's not even a punch.
joe rogan
Well, it is if it lands.
tom segura
I guess, but it's not like, it's definitely not a punch that would really have that much of an effect on somebody who knows what they're doing.
I mean, you could probably land that on someone who also doesn't fight.
joe rogan
You can land a lot of things on people if they don't know you're going to punch them.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's why sucker punches work.
Yeah.
When I used to teach martial arts, one of the first things I would tell people is you have to realize that action is so much faster than reaction.
So the reason why a sucker punch works is because you have no idea that this person is going to do it.
And then by the time they're doing it, it's too late.
tom segura
It's too late for you.
joe rogan
You don't react in time.
That's why people get punched like that.
I'm like, you can't ever let anybody get close enough.
You can't ever let anybody that's threatening you get in a position where they think like you think that they could hit you and you don't know what's coming.
tom segura
Right.
joe rogan
Because it can happen too fast.
tom segura
So that's why you have to have your awareness to that somebody approaching you is already a threat or can't be.
joe rogan
100%.
Yeah.
Like remember the time I got in that stupid thing on Fear Factor?
tom segura
Yes.
joe rogan
With that guy?
That was 100% my thought process.
Like this guy could punch me in any second.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
So you have to act.
joe rogan
Yeah.
I had to grab him.
But it was one of those moments where I was like, all right, this is a very angry person that's already irrational.
What's most irrational?
Sucker punching the host.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And also, this is like, you got to think of reality TV.
What is everyone trying to do?
Everyone's trying to go viral.
They're all trying to have a clip that gets played over and over again.
They're all trying to get everybody to watch the show.
So they're all acting in the most outrageous way possible.
I think it's like between that and social media, it's been like poison in our civility, in our culture.
The way people communicate, the way people view like famous people is totally different now.
Because you used to be famous because you were Amy Winehouse.
Like, oh, I love your music.
Now you're just famous for whatever the fuck reason.
tom segura
You can be famous for just acting a fool, like just being a complete dipshit.
joe rogan
Yeah, being some guy who's famous for stealing people's hats.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Just run up and grab people's hats everywhere.
That's that's your TikTok.
tom segura
Or yeah, you go up to people and like you whisper in their ear when they're at like a Home Depot.
And people are gonna head.
joe rogan
Speaking of which, did you see what Andrey Arlofsky got into it with these fucking influencers?
I bet they didn't know who he is.
tom segura
Yes, I did see a clip of that.
joe rogan
Yeah, I bet they didn't know who he is.
They started fucking with former UFC heavyweight champion Andre Arlofsky.
tom segura
Not a good move.
joe rogan
He's all first of all, he's fucking gigantic.
Yeah.
And he's one of the baddest motherfuckers ever.
That guy just recently retired from the UFC or was released, I should say.
He's not even done fighting.
He started fighting.
He won the UFC title, I think, in 2005.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's 20 fucking years ago.
And the guy was still beating people that are like elite fighters just a few years ago.
tom segura
And that's who you go pick on?
joe rogan
You should go pick on that guy.
Good luck.
I think he beat Travis Brown in like 2016 or 17.
Travis Brown was super legit, real dangerous.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Orlofsky was a bad motherfucker, dude.
tom segura
I went to a Travis Brown fight once with you.
joe rogan
Travis Brown was a bad motherfucker.
Travis Brown completely changed the way people look at the clinch because he elbowed so many people into oblivion.
If you got a hold of a single on that guy and your head was right there or a double, anything where you're trying to take him down against the cage and your head is right there.
That fucking dude, boom.
We literally called him Travis Brown elbows.
tom segura
Dude.
joe rogan
Because everybody does it, but Travis Brown did it better than anybody.
tom segura
That and those forearm shots that people take, you're like, oh.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's brutal.
It's such a brutal sport.
It's so crazy.
tom segura
That is so fucking crazy.
Yeah, I would not fuck with somebody.
I mean, I don't fuck with anybody, but like, if I saw that guy, I'd be the last guy.
I'd be like, oh.
joe rogan
So many people out there in the world now know how to fight.
When I was a kid, almost no one knew how to fight.
There was like wrestlers, never fuck with wrestlers.
And there was like, oh, the guy, he's Golden Gloves boxer.
Oh, don't fuck with him.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, everybody knew who you could and couldn't fuck with.
Now everybody knows something.
And kids, they learn just by what they'll watch a Charles Olivera fight and they'll practice in their fucking living room.
And next thing you know, they know how to do a real triangle.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like you can watch a lot of shit on YouTube videos and learn without even taking classes.
And kids are like learning.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Some athletic kids, like a kid that maybe is really good at baseball, really good at soccer or something like that.
You teach him some moves pretty quick and he's going to know how to deliver it.
tom segura
My oldest does it twice a week.
And he's an athletic kid.
He's got some proficiency and he keeps moving up, you know.
unidentified
He's going to kill you.
joe rogan
Well, you're going to have to start with the same thing.
tom segura
We also start, we'd fuck around because he's two little boys.
This dude will immediately go just put me in an arm bar.
And the only thing that like saves me is that I'm still so much bigger and stronger.
joe rogan
You might have to start taking fights or he's not going to listen.
tom segura
The clock is ticking.
joe rogan
When he's like 16 or 17.
tom segura
Oh, no, no, no.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
That would be a problem, a real problem.
joe rogan
Well, that's also a weird problem, too, because all of a sudden you can do things to men.
Like, I remember thinking that when I was like 16, 16, 17, when I was competing, all of a sudden I could beat men up.
I was like, this is crazy.
tom segura
Crazy.
joe rogan
Yeah, this is weird.
Because all my life, men were terrifying.
Like, men get angry, men will hit you.
You run, run from the men.
And now I'm like, oh, fuck this grown-ass man up.
It was crazy.
It was a crazy transition.
tom segura
I can see his wheels turning, dude.
joe rogan
Right.
So he's going to know he can do it now.
So he's going to want to do it.
unidentified
Come on, dad.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Come on, dad.
Come on, dad.
What are you going to do, dad?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, you're fucking grounded.
unidentified
Fuck you.
joe rogan
I'm not grounded.
I'll choke you out.
tom segura
Like, what?
joe rogan
And you're in the fucking hallway.
You can't even get away.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And he's 17 now.
He probably weighs a buck 80.
And they kind of ripped.
He's got abs.
They get embarrassed.
tom segura
Oh, yeah.
They call us and they're like, hey, he's really good.
They're like, he's really got a skill at this.
joe rogan
Well, jiu-jitsu is athleticism is massive, but also intelligence.
It's hard to be dumb and get really good at jiu-jitsu.
tom segura
He's a smart kid.
The other thing that's very different, and I think you see this when you have more than one kid, you have two kids or more.
You start to see that like, oh, some qualities in people's personalities are innate qualities, right?
joe rogan
Yes.
tom segura
Like you just, especially because you have your one, you're like, oh, this is what every, this is what a kid's like.
And then you're like, oh, the other kid's not like this.
They have these other qualities.
unidentified
Right.
tom segura
And one thing about him that you just pick up on by being his parent is he's like, he's very competitive.
Very, very competitive.
And so he's intelligent, he's competitive, and he's athletic.
And so you go like, oh, yeah, he's just very driven, you know?
joe rogan
Well, he should probably compete.
Because when you're young, if you learn how to compete when you're young, oh my God, it has so many benefits for the rest of your life because it's so scary.
And then you overcome it.
And if you could become successful at it, you kind of feel like you could be successful at anything.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because you've been successful at something that's scary.
tom segura
Yeah, exactly.
joe rogan
Get him in tournaments, man.
tom segura
He got into running.
joe rogan
Oh, boy.
tom segura
So like a couple years ago, I was getting ready.
We were going to do a 5K.
And I was way out of shape.
I was like, I got to start running.
So the first thing I did is I ran a mile.
And he tried to run with, I mean, he was like, you know, let's say like seven years old or something.
And I ran the mile in like, I don't know, 9.30.
I mean, I was dying, right?
I was like, fuck it.
Oh, my God.
He couldn't quite keep up with me in this one mile run.
He's a seven-year-old kid.
This year, he ran two miles in 1238.
Whoa.
So he ran six.
joe rogan
Because he didn't like the fact that he wasn't good at running.
tom segura
He just fucking, he would get up and be like, I'm going to go train.
I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ, you got a psycho.
Yeah, he's a psycho.
unidentified
He's a psycho.
tom segura
He's running up hills and shit.
And he's like, come with me.
And so like, I have an adult with me.
He's just running up and down this hill over and over and over.
Yeah.
He's like very sad.
But it's self.
It's not me going, you got to go run.
joe rogan
Right.
It's inside his head.
tom segura
It's in his head.
joe rogan
Wow.
If I was a coach, I'd be like, get that kid young.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Grab him.
unidentified
Grab him.
joe rogan
That's what we want.
tom segura
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
What you want is an intelligent psycho.
You know, intelligent, driven, hyper-competitive psycho.
tom segura
Hyper-competitive.
The other kid, my youngest, will walk up a flight of stairs.
He goes, my legs hurt.
I'm like, what?
He goes, I want to go rest.
I'm like, he just walked up a fucking flight of stairs.
He's like, I know, but my legs are killing me.
joe rogan
Completely different.
It's so funny that that is such the case.
It's such the case.
It's interesting because there is this thought of what a personality is.
Where does it all come from?
It's like a combination of so many different things.
It's a combination of nature, nurture, genetics.
tom segura
It's everything.
You're right.
My youngest kid.
joe rogan
He's also being exposed to things that bring that out of you.
tom segura
Yes.
joe rogan
You know what I mean?
Just imagine if he had never been exposed to the running, never done jiu-jitsu, never done anything.
tom segura
Then what happens to that?
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
The other kid, he's like, you could tell he has, he has, he has like a comedian's mindset.
Because he's a complainer.
You know, like every funny person complains.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
tom segura
Like the other day, I was in the writer's room.
I ate something that I was like in the writer's room, but my stomach was like fucking me up all day.
I was on the toilet.
I was like, it was like brutal to get through the day.
Get home and I he's in my room watching TV.
And I lay down.
I go, Hey, can you turn that off?
Because I want to rest.
Like, my stomach is bothering me.
And he goes, Oh, you want to snooze?
unidentified
How old is he?
Seven.
tom segura
He goes, You want to snooze?
He goes, I almost fucking threw up today.
unidentified
What?
tom segura
He goes, Yeah, my stomach's.
I go, dude, I've been on the toilet for like three hours.
Please.
And he goes, All right, why don't you have your little snooze?
I'll go out here.
He's like very animated, you know.
unidentified
Hilarious.
tom segura
And then he saw me wear a suit.
This is insane.
He saw me wear a suit.
And I'm like walking out of the house.
And he goes, Hey, I go, he goes, Where's my suit?
unidentified
And I go, What?
tom segura
And then I'm not kidding you.
He goes, I look like a fucking asshole.
I go, What are you talking about?
He goes, You're in a suit.
I look like an asshole.
He goes, Get me a suit.
And I go, Oh my God.
You don't need a suit.
And he goes, Yes, I do.
Why do you get to look like that?
I look like a fucking asshole.
And I was like, All right, bro.
He's always like complaining.
That's a little bit of complaints.
And it's just funny because we have to do it.
joe rogan
That would be an amazing sitcom scene.
tom segura
I know.
joe rogan
If you had a kid like that, I look like a fucking asshole.
That would be an amazing scene.
tom segura
We call him Joe Pesci because he's always talking like that.
He's always bothered.
You know, he's always hot.
And you're like, this is not a big deal, man.
He's like, yes, it is.
That's hilarious.
Yeah, he's just fired up about shit.
joe rogan
That's hilarious.
unidentified
That's hilarious.
tom segura
But that's also in him.
You know what I mean?
It's part of his personality.
joe rogan
Yeah.
It's weird.
It's like kids get something from you, right?
They get some genetics.
And then they kind of get whatever that gift the universe gives.
tom segura
Totally.
joe rogan
Where I was like, that kid's not like either one of us.
Like, where'd you come from?
tom segura
Christina thinks that he, she's like, every time he's like fired up about something, I'm like, look at this kid.
She goes, that is you.
I'm like, no.
And she goes, yes.
joe rogan
Well, you have a little of that in you.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You definitely do.
I remember one of the things, one of the most impressive things about our Sober October thing was you got the flu.
And so you were out of it for like a couple of days.
And so the moment you got back where you felt good, you ran like 15 miles.
tom segura
In a day, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Bro, we were all going nuts.
tom segura
Yeah, I was because I was like, I can't be like dead, dead last.
You know what I mean?
Like, I was like, I just can't.
joe rogan
I was in the gym at the old studio with Ari and Ari.
He's like, can I use your gym?
I'm like, of course.
He's like, after the podcast, I'm going to work out.
I got to get my numbers in.
And so I was hanging out with him while he was rowing.
And he's got a fucking six-pack.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
I was like, this is crazy.
I go, Ari, you have a six-pack now.
tom segura
I go, you're ripped.
joe rogan
I go, you look great.
unidentified
He's like, oh, thanks.
joe rogan
And he was just fucking rowing.
tom segura
He rode for a full hour, man.
joe rogan
With a chest trap on, like racking up his numbers.
tom segura
It was the same voice in his head going, don't be dead last.
Because we all knew your crazy ass was going to be going like totally psycho.
So we were just like, we can't be dead last of the rest of us.
joe rogan
Ari was trying to beat me.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
100%.
I know he was.
tom segura
Yeah, but you were like pissing blood.
We were like, this guy's a little too crazy.
joe rogan
Well, I decided one day to just like take it to like the, I wanted to see like, what can I do?
That was the day I did seven hours of cardio.
I think I'd set off my alarm in my gym for my sweat.
tom segura
Jesus.
joe rogan
I set off the fire alarm.
tom segura
From just being so hard.
joe rogan
Yeah, this video of it.
It's a video on Instagram of the puddles on the ground are the most preposterous thing.
I sweat puddles.
tom segura
I think your wife, too, right?
Because my spending any time with your family.
You're just like so obsessed with this thing.
joe rogan
It's like I re-met an old friend.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's what it was like for me.
It was like, oh, I forgot that guy's in there.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
I don't necessarily like that guy.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
He scares me.
It's like, I don't like something.
It scares me not being dramatic.
This is what it is.
That could derail your life.
So you could, that obsession could take over again with something, with anything.
And then I won't be doing anything but that thing.
Like, it's one of the reasons why I like to do a lot of stuff.
It's because I don't want one obsession.
Yeah, I don't want that one, that brain to focus on.
It's not good for mental health.
It's really good for success.
Like, if you're really going to get really good at one thing, that's the thing.
But for overall happiness, I don't find that to be appealing.
I don't like that feeling.
Like, that sober October feeling was kind of crazy.
tom segura
This is kind of why, like, I feel like I'm trying to embrace a lifestyle that's not, that's accessible, but not dramatic.
Like, I could go and go, I'm going to do, you know, two and a half hours at the gym every day.
joe rogan
Right.
tom segura
And I'm sure my results would, would show.
joe rogan
Right.
I want to look like Iron Man or whoever.
tom segura
But my problem is like is like, it's like not, that doesn't feel like I'm going to run out at some point and be like, this is unsustainable.
So I'd rather.
joe rogan
It's going to take from your other things.
tom segura
Yeah, exactly.
I got to do it where like I'll do an hour and change of training and then try to dial in eating.
And like that's, that's, you can keep that.
joe rogan
Yes.
tom segura
That's that's sustainable.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Exactly.
Yeah.
But it's like, what are you trying?
It depends on what you're trying to do.
So like we both have families.
We both have a lot.
You know, there's a lot of people in our lives.
You can't just be a maniac and focus on one thing.
You can't.
Like Gordon Ryan, that's his Abu Dhabi belt up there.
tom segura
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
That guy trains 365 days a year.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
He doesn't take, fuck you for Christmas.
Fuck you for your birthday.
tom segura
Oh, it's Easter.
joe rogan
Fuck you.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Well, that's how he became the best of all time.
Like if you really want to do something, but he doesn't have kids.
He's not married.
He's only, you know, now he's 30.
But he did all this when he was in his mid-20s.
tom segura
That's also the age to be that obsessed with something.
joe rogan
Exactly.
Especially if you want to do this one thing that everybody else is working really hard to.
You got to figure out how to separate yourself.
And it's like if you're running an ultra marathon and you have 200 miles to run and you take time and you're running and you're running at a really good pace, maybe even a faster pace than other people, but then you take naps.
You take a nap for an hour or two hours or three hours.
And then you say, look, it'll be better this way.
And then I'll be revived.
I'm still really ahead.
That guy who's not going to take any naps is going to beat you.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because he's just going to keep running.
He's going to keep running.
And before you know it, a lot of these ultras, like the guy who wins, they win by like 10 hours.
They win by nutty time.
Courtney Dilwalter, the lady who was on our podcast once, she ran the Bigfoot 240, I think.
And I think she was like eight hours ahead of the second place person.
tom segura
I kind of don't understand the mentality that the ultra people have.
Oh, it's dark.
Yeah, I'm like, I don't get it.
joe rogan
It's dark.
tom segura
How do you actually get there?
joe rogan
Well, you have to be a complete nut and then you have to want to test yourself to the point of almost death because that's what these people are doing.
They're running like Goggins, he ran one of these fucking things, got rhabdo.
So rhabdomyelosis was when you worked out too hard, your body can't recover, and you start pissing brown real bad.
Your kidneys are breaking down.
He had to go to the hospital, went to the hospital, got out of the hospital, completed the race.
And then he did like 100 push-ups.
And he's fucking like there's, he's like, he's getting to the door of death.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Just the door.
tom segura
And that's how he feels.
He's normal.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
He feels alive by like getting his body to, and he's 50, by the way.
tom segura
Fucking crazy.
joe rogan
He's a maniac.
tom segura
Did you watch, by the way, did you watch the Anthony Joshua Jake Paul?
I did.
joe rogan
Of course I did.
Yeah.
tom segura
I would have guessed.
joe rogan
Yeah, I had to watch it.
It's a spectacle.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Look, that guy did great for someone who's been boxing for like less than a decade.
He has had no real professional opponents other than Tommy Fury that were legitimate world-class boxers.
tom segura
I don't even remember what happened in the time he got.
joe rogan
He lost a close decision, but it was a good fight.
It was a good fight, though.
He's a good boxer.
If he wasn't a YouTuber, people would be way more impressed with him.
The problem is he was like a famous kid, and then no one took him seriously.
Yeah.
tom segura
Oh, and then he started, too, with like more spectacle-ish fights.
People were like, oh, this is your, he fought, you know, Nate Robinson, like a basketball player.
joe rogan
But the thing is, he knocked Nate Robinson.
tom segura
He knocked him the fuck out.
joe rogan
And it's the way he did it that I was trying to tell people.
I'm like, no, no, no.
That was skillful.
So there's like boxing matches where you see two guys just slugging it out.
One guy lands a punch and yeah, he landed a good punch.
What Jake did is he slid back and landed a punch.
It's like the athleticism along with the intelligence, the technique.
I'm like, he's not even doing it that long.
And he's also hyper-competitive, even though he's wealthy.
You know, like you would assume that wealth would take away your drive for composition.
He's also nuts, right?
Just the fact that he's willing to fight the two-time heavyweight champion, former Olympic gold medalist.
A guy who's gigantic in his prime.
Built like a Greek god.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And you're going to stand, and he's a one-punch killer.
And you're going to stand in front of that guy.
And he avoided shots till the sixth round.
He just started getting tired.
tom segura
His movement in that fight was crazy.
joe rogan
It was very good.
It was very good.
tom segura
He was really keeping them moving around the whole ring.
joe rogan
You can't afford to get tired.
That's the thing is like he gets tired in a lot of his fights in the later rounds.
You should really sort that out.
Because if he had a much bigger gas tank, like if he was training with some of these elite world-class strength and conditioning coaches and just worked on his cardio, he'd be beating way more guys.
tom segura
You think so?
joe rogan
Yeah.
100%.
But it's like what he's doing is learning how to box and he's boxing.
He's training hard for sure.
But to get that world-class gas tank, you need like a Sam Calavita.
You need like a Nick Curson.
You need like these plyometrics experts that got heart rate monitors on you and they're checking when your recovery is ready and go.
You need guys monitoring your recovery, monitoring your heart rate variability, your VO2 max.
I couldn't believe science.
I don't know.
And maybe he is.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe he is doing that.
But whatever it is, it's not enough.
It's not enough.
Because in so many of his fights, like the Nate Diaz fight, he gets tired in the later rounds.
In the beginning, look, if that guy is only fighting three rounds, he's a fucking handful.
He's really good.
He clocked Anthony Joshua.
He did hit him with a big right hand.
unidentified
He did.
joe rogan
Didn't have any effect.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because he's, you know, really, he weighed 216, but he doesn't even have abs right at 216.
He could easily weigh 190.
I'm sure he could make 190.
Anthony Joshua's gigantic.
So big.
He's so big.
He's so much bigger.
So, of course, like his punch that he knocks Tyron Woodley out cold with, Joshua just eats it.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because he's a giant.
He's a fucking giant man.
He's so big, dude.
He's so big.
tom segura
I give Jake so much credit for stepping into that ring.
joe rogan
Bro, he got hit with a bomb, a right-hand bomb.
tom segura
When he got hit with that, too, I don't know if enough has been made of the fact that, I mean, it was absolutely devastating.
But the fact that he had awareness immediately to go like, like he looked at him, oh, shit.
Like, wow.
It wasn't cracked.
joe rogan
I think he went into that fight knowing that was probably going to happen.
And ultimately, the big win for him would be that he was even willing to do it and that he could do well for a little bit.
tom segura
For a little bit, yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
And then eventually just deal with the fact that Anthony Joshua is going to kidnako a bomb and breaks his jaw in two places.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
He's fucked.
His jaw's wired shut now.
He lost teeth.
tom segura
See, I mean, he made it to the sixth round.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
Pretty wild.
joe rogan
Do they put your teeth back in when they pop out like that?
Or are they gone forever?
tom segura
I don't know.
I don't know.
But it's just wired shut for like six weeks now.
joe rogan
Yeah.
You got to eat nothing but protein shakes.
unidentified
Bro.
joe rogan
Oof.
I mean, look, it's a crazy world.
The thing is that I would hope that he recognizes is right now he's doing great and he's only, whatever he is, 28, I think.
tom segura
Is he 28?
joe rogan
I think he is.
How old is Jake Paul?
He's young.
tom segura
God damn.
joe rogan
And he's probably made 300 million plus in his boxing career.
How old is Jake Paul?
He'll be 29.
Look at that.
So he's 28 years old, 29 next month.
Don't do this very long because there's a price that you pay that is not worth it.
It's not worth it.
And that price is depression, deep depression, a severe brain imbalance that's going to lead you to addiction.
It leads so many people to impulsive behavior.
So many people become gambling addicts, drug addicts, alcoholics after their fighting career.
You could only take so much.
And at a certain, like that one that he got from Joshua, ooh.
You know, say if you have like a punch card, you have so many punches that you can get in your life, which I believe you do.
I believe there's a certain number.
That one was like 10 bunches.
That was like, there was a lot of concussions in that one punch.
unidentified
Sure.
joe rogan
That was real damage.
Like if someone's breaking your jaw in two places, the inside of your fucking head is, there's a lot of damage going on in there, too.
tom segura
Fuck yeah.
joe rogan
Just don't do it.
I know too many guys that like they wanted to be cool guys and they kept sparring like deep into their 30s and 40s.
They would go to the gym and do hard spar, not jiu-jitsu, boxing, boxing sparring.
So they're just standing in front of each other, slugging it out.
They get bloody noses.
They laugh about it and think it was cool.
And then they go about their day and I'm like, man, that's going to get you.
Because at a certain point in time, that fucking depression is unavoidable.
It just creeps it.
unidentified
You just, every, you just, oh, you don't feel good.
joe rogan
You just don't feel good.
Like, you're just like, oh, all the time.
Just, oh, their whole day is like that.
Oh, you know, that feeling when you're hungover?
That's their life.
tom segura
That's, no.
There's no way to live.
joe rogan
And it varies.
Some guys don't get that.
tom segura
And he definitely doesn't have to do that.
joe rogan
No, not anymore.
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
If he could do anything, that guy can do anything.
If he could do what he did in boxing, he could do anything.
Just don't do it forever.
It's just one of them things where it's like the price you pay is eventually not worth it.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Awesome that he did.
I mean, awesome that he made, he probably made $100 million Saturday night.
tom segura
Jesus Christ, that's so much.
joe rogan
I don't know what he got paid, but also it's probably worth another $100 million in publicity.
tom segura
Easily.
joe rogan
Because people loved watching him get knocked out.
tom segura
They did.
joe rogan
They also had to say that guy has fucking balls.
And he does.
He earned it.
He earned it.
If he doesn't have your respect after that fight, because a lot of people are like, oh, you're going to fight Javante Davis.
He's only 135 pounds.
He's like, okay, I'll fight a guy 110 pounds bigger.
tom segura
Now you couldn't pay me.
You could not pay me enough to do that.
joe rogan
Guy's got balls.
He's got nothing but respect for me.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Nothing but respect.
Just don't do it forever.
There comes a time where the cost is not worth it because some people never return.
That's what you have to understand.
There's people that get out.
Like if you listen to Randy Couture talk now, he talks fine.
He's great.
He was knocked out a bunch of times.
Chuck Liddell knocked him out.
tom segura
They knew when to dip out.
joe rogan
Knew when to dip out.
And, you know, Randy also like really didn't even begin his UFC career until his late 30s, if I'm correct.
He was either 35, it might have been 34 or 35 when he had his first UFC fight.
I was there.
That was in like fucking the middle of nowhere in the stars.
tom segura
He's pretty old, right?
joe rogan
Well, he was an elite wrestler.
He was an elite Greco-Roman wrestler, and then he got into MMA late in life back in the time, the days when you'd be able to wear shoes.
They used to wear wrestling shoes when they fought.
tom segura
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
The early days.
Used to be able to wear shoes.
But like, he's fine.
There's a bunch of guys that are still fine, but there's a bunch of guys that are really struggling, really struggling.
Don't get there.
Don't get there.
tom segura
Scary.
joe rogan
Dip out before that happens.
It's really.
Know when to dip out and have friends that tell you when to dip out.
You have a coach, a coach that doesn't say, well, let's give it one more shot.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, don't, that's not.
You only want to be doing that if you're trying to be the best in the world.
That's my opinion.
I mean, there's a lot of guys who are never going to be the best in the world and they still love competing.
And that's great too.
And there's a lot of guys that make a living doing it and they make good money and they feed their families.
And I'm not saying, but if you have an option, I don't think you should do it unless you're a fucking complete maniac, absolutely obsessed.
You want to do it more than you want to do anything else in life.
Because if you don't feel like that, there's a guy out there that does.
And that guy's going to fuck you up.
That guy's going to come and take your soul away from you.
I always think of Mike Tyson when he was 20.
I was like, if you're not that dedicated, you shouldn't be fighting because Mike Tyson is not one person.
There's a bunch of those guys out there.
There's Alex Pereira.
There's all these guys out there in the world that are that obsessed.
There's all these Islam Makachevs and Ilya Taporias.
There's these guys out there in the world that are just driven.
tom segura
To do it.
joe rogan
And if you want to fight, if you really want to fight, if you run into one of those guys and you're not doing what they're doing, you're going to get tuned up.
tom segura
Alex, I didn't realize how big he is.
joe rogan
Giant.
tom segura
I did not realize that until the photo of him next to somebody I know, like a friend of mine.
joe rogan
I was like, there's a lot of chatter about him fighting in the heavyweight division now.
tom segura
Really?
joe rogan
There's a lot of chatter about it.
There's a lot of chatter about him perhaps even fighting Cyril Gone.
I don't know how much of this is true.
I haven't talked to Dana about it, but it's not an illogical move.
He's 240 pounds right now.
240 plus.
tom segura
And he's like, what, 6'4, 6'4?
joe rogan
6'5 ⁇ , 6'4, 6'5 ⁇ .
And don't make no mistake about it, that guy can knock out heavyweights.
No doubt about it.
He hits harder than anyone they've ever recorded ever on that fucking stupid punch machine.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know that thing?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Francis Singano got like a 129 on it, which is crazy.
tom segura
Crazy.
joe rogan
He got a 190.
tom segura
190?
joe rogan
190.
When you watch him hit it, you're like, what the fuck?
You want to see it?
You should just see it just to feel what it would feel like to get hit in the head by that.
tom segura
Oh, my God.
joe rogan
Like, that guy is out there in the world.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, if you think you're going to be a journeyman and you're going to all of a sudden, you know, be looking across the octagon and that guy's standing there, trauma.
Like, he's going to hunt you.
He's going to hunt you.
And you're not in that space that he's in.
He's in a killer-be-killed space.
And you're in a, this is fun to compete.
tom segura
Yeah, it's not the same thing.
Not the same thing.
joe rogan
Watch this video because it's fucking bananas.
Holy fuck.
When he hits it, you just go, everybody around him goes, oh, like, what the fuck?
unidentified
Oh, my God.
Watch this.
Oh, my God.
joe rogan
See that?
One more time.
One more time.
Well, you do it from the beginning.
If you don't, that sound is so crazy.
tom segura
Yeah, that's your face.
joe rogan
You know what, Mark Goddard?
Mark Goddard was the referee in his fight with Khalil Roundtree, and he came up to me right after the fight.
Like, I got into the Otgon.
They were going to announce Alex Pereira, winner by knockout.
unidentified
Goddard walks up to me, goes, the sound that guy makes.
joe rogan
He goes, I've been doing this for 20 years.
He goes, the sound is ungodly.
tom segura
Really?
joe rogan
It's ungodly.
It's different.
And you can see when you're hearing doing commentary, you see the look on the guys' faces.
When they get hit, they're like, oh, this is real.
This is different.
tom segura
Yeah.
There's some different dudes out there.
joe rogan
There's some different dudes out there.
And that's a different, not just of dedication and drive and focus, because he definitely has all that, but it's genetics.
That dude is a legitimate Amazon warrior.
Like he comes from a tribe in the Amazon.
And he goes back to that tribe and he puts on the traditional outfits that they wear and the face paint and hangs out with them.
And it's like, yo.
He would have been the fucking tribal warlord.
He would have been the king back then.
Yeah.
I mean, that's his ancestry.
tom segura
Fuck me.
joe rogan
Yeah, he speaks their language.
tom segura
Oh, he does like the dialect?
joe rogan
I think.
I don't want to misspeak, but I'm pretty sure he understands what they're saying because he's talking to them.
Not just Portuguese, like Brazil.
That whole Amazon area is so fascinating, man.
tom segura
Have you been to the Amazon?
unidentified
No.
tom segura
I went once.
joe rogan
Really?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
What'd you do?
tom segura
My uncle was working for an oil company in Peru.
And there's a part of Peru called Iquitos in the north, which is the jungle.
And I went with him, and we went out on the Amazon, and then we pulled up to some place, and he's like, we're going to eat here, right?
And it's not like fucking Terry Black's.
It's just like some fucking shack.
And the guy just kept brain.
I was like, what am I eating?
And he was like, I'll tell you later.
joe rogan
Piranha.
tom segura
It was all kinds of weird shit.
unidentified
What were we eating?
tom segura
I mean, snakes and rabbits and, you know, like Amazonian shit that I've never even heard of.
And I would take bites and be like, what is this?
Later.
I'll tell you later.
unidentified
Okay.
tom segura
They made me eat all this stuff.
And I was like, this is fucking crazy.
But when you're out there, yeah, you are kind of wowed.
You know, you're just in awe of everything around you.
And like just the fact that this is on the planet with us.
And you can make a trek to a place like this where there's species of not just animals, flowers and trees and things that don't exist anywhere else.
And it's so rich with everything that's there.
It's an awe-inspiring kind of thing.
joe rogan
It hasn't even been documented.
I mean, there's so many pharmaceutical drugs that come from plants they find in the Amazon.
It's wild.
It's such a crazy place.
You know the craziest part about it?
The density of the Amazon rainforest is essentially man-made.
tom segura
Man-made?
joe rogan
Man-made.
Really?
Yeah, they didn't know that until fairly recently.
Those are agriculture plants that grew out of control, got out of control.
tom segura
And they constantly find, but they'll find, you know, they'll find like a species of a bird, and they'll be like, this is the only place we've ever seen this bird.
It doesn't exist anywhere else on the planet.
joe rogan
It all used to be populated, too.
That's what's really crazy.
Have you seen that LIDAR stuff they do?
tom segura
Yes.
joe rogan
And they find all these ancient structures.
tom segura
Yes.
The white man came and brought the cooties and there's still like these tribes that live there and literally have blow darts that hunt.
That's how they kill their meals.
joe rogan
My friend Paul Rosalie lives there.
tom segura
Lives there?
joe rogan
He lives in the Amazon.
He's got this organization that's working to try to preserve the rainforest.
One of the things that they do is they find these loggers.
And these loggers generally, they're poor guys that just get forced to do these jobs.
And he pays them more than they get paid as loggers to protect the rainforest.
So instead of cutting it down, now you have a job where you get paid more, but now your job is to protect the forest.
tom segura
So they plant more and everything?
joe rogan
Yeah, they plant more.
They stop people from, I don't know if they plant, honestly.
They stop people from cutting things down.
The problem with planting, and this is where the Amazon gets really weird, the Amazon soil natively is not conducive for growing a lot of stuff.
So there's a type of soil that's man-made that they do not know how they did it.
They do not know when they started doing it.
But it's called terraprada.
Is that what it's called?
And it's a thick, dark, man-made soil.
So it's essentially compost and all these different process and carbon and a bunch of things that they get into this man-made layer that's all over the Amazon.
tom segura
Wow.
joe rogan
That whole area, we thought it like, so there, you know, this Lost City of Z story.
So the Lost City of Z was that movie.
Did you ever see it?
Was it Percy Richards?
What was his name?
Percy Fawcett?
Percy Fawcett.
So this guy goes down to the Amazon a long time ago and he comes back with this story.
You know, European traveler comes back with this story of golden cities and it's amazing.
So he comes back, he reports his findings, and then 100 years later, like a new search party goes down there to look for this place.
They don't find nothing.
Like, oh, that guy was full of shit.
But he wasn't full of shit.
It was all real.
It's just that he brought the cooties.
So they brought disease and literally wiped out millions of people, millions of people.
And the jungle just consumed whatever structures were there in 100 years, which is like, look at Detroit.
Detroit is freezing cold.
It's nowhere near as tropical as the Amazon.
But Detroit, houses are just trees are growing straight through them.
And it's only been like 50 years.
So in 100 years in the Amazon, everything was gone.
All the people were dead.
All the structures, which were wood, were all just like consumed by the rainforest.
tom segura
Whoa.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
And they didn't even know this until they started doing this LIDAR stuff.
And so this LIDAR stuff, when they're flying over with this, it's a type of laser.
And essentially, it looks into the ground and finds structures right through the trees.
tom segura
They can like scan things.
joe rogan
And they're finding aqueducts and roads and complex irrigation systems, big giant symmetrical structures like this.
This is all covered by jungle.
Like these are all buildings and streets.
Like they had millions of people living in the Amazon.
Millions.
tom segura
This is like the same, you know, the theory that, you know, how like UAPs have become more, like there's congressional testimonies about it, and everybody's always talking about where are these visitors coming from?
Right.
But like one of the theories is that they're not visitors from somewhere else.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
They're visitors from our own planet.
joe rogan
That is an interesting thing.
tom segura
I thought it was interesting, especially just because we know how much of our planet is actually unexplored.
Like we always think of it as like, oh, we know the planet.
joe rogan
Right.
tom segura
But like most of the ocean is unexplored.
Like a huge number of the planets.
And then obviously things like the jungle, where you're just discovering like, oh, look, there's a whole civilization in there.
joe rogan
Well, there was a civilization.
tom segura
Was.
joe rogan
I think the Amazon rainforest people that they encounter now, the uncontacted people, are probably the survivors.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because the thing is, during the ice age, the equator was lush.
So these areas probably had like perfect.
Yeah, huge populations, perfect climate.
I mean, think about all the incredible structures that you find in those areas.
Like the Incan structures and the Mayan structures.
Like, they were obviously like a very advanced civilization back then.
tom segura
Nothing makes sense when you're there.
Like, I've been three times to Machu Picchu.
And you're always there.
joe rogan
Oh, you went to Machu Picchu?
tom segura
Yeah, I went three times.
And every time, because you see photos and stuff, when you're actually there, you're like, Your brain just goes, it doesn't, because it's all theories.
Everyone, like, you'll have a guide who's like, this is how, and you're like, yeah, but this is your guess, motherfucker.
You don't know that, you know?
Because it just doesn't add up in your head how this could be built up in the Andes.
joe rogan
Well, the predominant theory by the alternative historians is that water was that high back then in that area.
Yeah.
And that there have been some enormous seismic changes, you know, earthquakes and the like, which is one of the reasons why they made those stones the way they did in the first place.
Like, if you see the stones, they're cut like jigsaw puzzle pieces and slipped into place.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
The reason why they did that is because that would better redistribute any energy that would come from an earthquake.
So instead of like bricks stacked on top of bricks, they're all like interlocking with each other with a bunch of different angles and they're immense.
tom segura
These pieces are so immense.
And it's laying perfectly flush against the next piece.
Like it's not like kind of sloppily thrown together.
It looks like an architecture firm designed it and hired, you know, like that there were cranes putting.
You're like, how the fuck would this be put together in 1500?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's really, really difficult to figure out.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
They don't know.
And they don't even know the date.
The date is silly because they're not, what they're basing the date off of, there's a bunch of different structures.
There's the base structure, which is way more complex and way bigger.
Like, especially Saxe Huamon and a bunch of these other places that they have layers of civilization.
It's really clear.
Like the layers above it are like less sophisticated than the giant megalithic stuff that's below it.
And yet they all try to attribute it to the same time.
The problem is they get married to a timeline.
And once they get married to that timeline, then they go, oh, well, that's just what it is.
But they don't know what it is.
They've discovered this new stone structure that is in Oregon.
And it's 18,000 years old.
They didn't even think up until fairly recently, they didn't think that people were here 18,000 years ago.
tom segura
There's a structure in Oregon that's 18,000.
joe rogan
Yeah, let me see if I can find it.
I think, yeah, here it is.
tom segura
found it i always feel like when when those the experts give you the final chain yeah Yeah.
joe rogan
Testing yields new evidence of human occupation 18,000 years ago in Oregon.
So they just keep the, so this is a stone wall.
It's pretty cool.
So they found camel teeth fragments under a layer of volcanic ash from an eruption of Mount St. Helens that was dated over 15,000 years ago.
Team also uncovered two finely crafted orange, I don't know what that word is.
tom segura
A gate scrapers.
joe rogan
A gate scrapers.
I guess it's a type of stone.
One in 2012 preserved bison blood residue and another in 2015 buried deeper in the ash.
So they did the radiocarbon dating on this stuff and they came up with a date of 18,250 years before present time.
Fuck.
tom segura
That's so goddamn long ago.
joe rogan
The date in association with stone tools suggests that the Rim Rock Draw Rock Shelter is one of the oldest human occupation sites in North America.
See if you can find what that looks like.
So there's a few places in America where people are like, okay, what the fuck is this?
And one of them that's really interesting, what does perplexity have to say about this?
The site is a shallow rock shelter about three meters deep, 20 meters long on a basalt rim near the town of Riley in Harnage County, Oregon, at the northern edge of the Great Basin.
Interesting.
This stuff is so interesting to me.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because there's a weird one in Montana.
Have you seen the sage wall in Montana?
This one's really weird.
So this one is actually debatable, apparently.
So there are some people that are geologists that look at this and say, this has, it could be a natural formation.
And other people look at it and go, yeah, but it has like legit tooling on it.
So this is a wall that's on a piece of private property in Montana.
Like just looking at that image, boy, that looks a lot like people made it.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
That looks a lot like people made it.
So there's an argument, though, that there are similar, but not as uniquely man-made looking structures that are not, that are definitely not man-made.
tom segura
Wait, so this is a the debate is that this might not be man-made?
Like this might be naturally occurring?
joe rogan
Exactly.
Like, look at that.
What are the odds that that is?
What is that?
Like, what is that?
Is that evidence of an ancient civilization or is that just a geological formation?
tom segura
Well, the funny thing is in that image, I lean more towards, I could see how you could make a case of a natural formation.
joe rogan
Perhaps.
tom segura
But on the other ones where things look more stacked, it feels like that, like that second image below.
jamie vernon
That's not it.
joe rogan
No, I think that's AI.
tom segura
Oh, okay.
jamie vernon
That's why I was trying to be careful which ones I'm sure.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
But when you look at it from the top, that's kind of crazy.
tom segura
Yeah, that is kind of crazy.
joe rogan
There's parts of it, though, that look like, well, there's stuff around that that just doesn't look as uniquely man-made.
But it is without a doubt weird.
Because if it turns out that people did make this thing, and apparently it goes deep into the ground, like there's some cuts that looks like, and then there's also some evidence that looks like somebody might have been working on the stone, like drill holes or something.
I forget what it was.
But look at these.
tom segura
Yeah, that looks like.
joe rogan
Oh, yes, this is not that.
jamie vernon
Yeah, it's comparing.
unidentified
That's.
joe rogan
That's comparing it to the stuff that's in Peru, which has some of the craziest stuff.
Peru has some of the craziest stuff in the world.
Like, look at that.
Like, look at that angle.
Go back to that one right there.
Like, what the fuck is that?
That's crazy.
jamie vernon
Are there nubs on any of these rocks?
joe rogan
That's a good question.
But some of them, like, boy, that looks really fucking suspicious.
tom segura
You've looked up, I don't know if we talked about the lines of Nazca before.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
tom segura
That's so.
joe rogan
Well, do you know about the mummies, the tridactyl mummies that they found in that area?
Uh-uh.
Oh, boy.
tom segura
No.
joe rogan
Oh, boy.
Okay.
So they've always had artwork that depicted these three-fingered, three-toed beings with big eyes.
It's a part of like ancient Peruvian artwork.
Like they're dated back to like a thousand years.
Well, they've found these mummified remains of the weirdest looking fucking creatures you've ever seen in your life.
They're three feet tall.
They have big heads, three fingers and three toes, and they're dead.
And then they do CT scans on them.
They have all the ligaments and structure of a living being, but with a different scapula than us.
And I think, oh, they don't have a sternum, but they have the ribs that we have.
I think the same amount of ribs, but their structure is different, but it's a real structure.
Like when you see the structure with the CT scan, you see flesh and tissue, these things.
unidentified
Whoa.
joe rogan
Bro, this is all in Peru.
So there's all these little metallic implants on this thing, too.
But this is the structure of its body.
And as it goes further, it shows the tissue and everything because it's mummified.
So you could see like ligaments and tissue.
So there's a bunch of different scans that they did.
And one of them, the being was pregnant.
But look, it has a spinal column.
It has all the joints are in order, but they're different than ours.
tom segura
It's in that area?
joe rogan
Yes.
This is all in Peru.
And it's all in the same.
Look, look at it.
It has a fucking metallic golden implant in its forehead.
And look at the size of its head.
Like, it looks like a gray, right?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
See if you can get some of those images that show the CT scans of the tissue.
Because the CT scans of the tissue are the weird.
There it is.
So it also has fingerprints, which are weird.
Like, look at that.
It has fucking fingerprints, but they're different hours and three digits.
Unique fingerprints.
They don't know what this is, but my friend Jesse Michaels went down there and saw them in person.
He said it was unreal.
He said it's really fucking bizarre.
tom segura
Did I tell you when I went to the Liñas, the Nazca?
joe rogan
No.
tom segura
So I went there.
I was in the middle of the day.
joe rogan
So we get a picture of the whole skeleton.
tom segura
And my uncle set me up to go see them with my dad.
And so we got into what was a cartel plane that was confiscated by the government.
It was now like a Peruvian government plane, like a military plane.
But it was really like four seats in the back, two pilots in the front, I think two propellers, right?
One of those types of planes.
The best way to see the lines is in a chopper so you can hover.
But we went on a plane and we're like, I mean, it's, you can't believe what you're seeing, right?
Like you're flying over and they're taking us.
And then in the middle of it, my dad's like, I need to pee.
And I'm like, what?
He's like, tell the pilot I need to pee.
I'm like, we're going to keep doing this.
He's like, I have to pee now.
joe rogan
Oh, boy.
tom segura
So I go to the pilot.
I was like, hey, my dad's got to pee.
He's like, what?
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
He's like 65.
I'm like, he's got to pee.
And the guy's like, all right.
So we just find some random airstrip, I think in Pisco or something, and then...
joe rogan
How long does it take to do that?
tom segura
I forget.
I mean, we had to go out of our way.
And then, you know, he pees.
joe rogan
How long did it take?
tom segura
I mean, for us to get to the airstrip, probably like, it was out of the way.
So maybe like another 20 minutes or something.
Oh, boy.
And I was like, dude.
He's like, what am I supposed to do?
I was like, I don't know.
Didn't you fucking pee before we got in this thing?
He's like, yeah, but I got to pee again.
unidentified
All right.
tom segura
And then they just like walk around and they find an oil canteen that was like discarded on the runway.
And they're like, this is for your dad so that if he has to pee again, we don't have to land in the fucking plane.
And I was like, here you go, dad.
If it strikes you again, please piss in this.
joe rogan
Did he do it?
tom segura
Yeah, he did it.
He did?
joe rogan
He pissed it.
tom segura
He pissed again.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
He pissed in the oil can.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
So you're flying around where your dad's pissed off.
My dad's pissed.
tom segura
And then where he's like, that's pretty neat.
Looking at the lines of NASCAR.
Like, yeah, pretty neat, man.
joe rogan
Really bizarre.
tom segura
It's kind of funny, too, to think about.
joe rogan
Show me the images of the red ones where it shows the tissues and the ligaments.
tom segura
The fact that some people aren't wowed by things like this.
Do you know what I mean?
joe rogan
Jay Anderson had a good one.
He had a bunch of good because he did a piece on it, too.
Yeah, well, you have to be out of your fucking mind to not be wowed by this.
tom segura
Yeah.
I know, but don't you feel like half the population is like, oh, that's cool.
joe rogan
Half the population is asleep.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
They're all on TikTok.
It's all rot in their brain.
They're all just social media is like transformed their attention.
They're locked in on nonsense, on things that don't have any bearing on their life whatsoever.
And that's what they're focusing on six hours a day.
That's a lot of people.
tom segura
And then you show them something like this, and they're like, this is completely bananas.
Yeah, that's a human being.
joe rogan
It's not a alien.
It's a fucking alien.
Or it might have been a kind of human being, right?
So you know about there's a bunch of different ones, right?
Everybody knows about Neanderthals, but there's also the Hobbit people in the island of Flores.
There's three foot tall human beings that looked probably like a Hobbit, like little chimpanzee.
Look at that fucking thing.
Fucking A. Like, what is that?
And the thing is, it's like if you just saw the outside, you'd go, oh, that's a cool structure or a cool sculpture, rather.
But then when you see the actual ligaments and tendons and all the stuff inside of it, you go, oh, no, this is a living being, whatever the hell it is.
And they all have three toes and three fingers.
tom segura
It just strikes me, too, that this isn't the primary conversation we're having, though.
joe rogan
I mean, look at that.
tom segura
I know.
joe rogan
How insane is that?
tom segura
It's an alien, man.
joe rogan
They're very different.
They also, they have different shaped heads.
Like, there's a difference between, you know, how many did they find?
Oh, there's quite a few of them.
There's quite a few of them.
tom segura
What is the Montserrat?
joe rogan
That's the bigger one.
That's the biggest one that they find.
tom segura
That's the name they gave it?
joe rogan
Yeah, they gave it a name.
So this is the largest one and the most impressive.
And she has these metallic implants.
She's got the one on her forehead, and she's got several of them on her body.
It's a very weird thing because it seems like it's a living creature, but it's not like a human being.
Like, even the way it's skull, those lines in the skull, like we all have those, whatever those lines are, the plates, their lines are different than ours.
Everything's different.
unidentified
Jesus.
joe rogan
Yeah, and the way they found these things, grave robbers find them.
So they don't really tell you where they found them.
They lie about them.
They find them in Peru.
tom segura
But I mean, like, how long ago did this happen?
joe rogan
All this is fairly recent.
Okay.
All this is in the last decade or so.
But the focus on it has been over the last year or so where a lot of these scientists have gone down there to take a look at it.
And guys like Jesse Michaels and some other people.
The problem is the country doesn't want them removed for testing, right?
tom segura
Right.
joe rogan
But you're going to have to bring equipment down there because testing has to be done.
Like we have to figure out what these things are because it seems like it's a life form that is a bipedal hominid that's different than us that probably lived alongside.
By the way, that thing's also 1,200 years old.
tom segura
That's old.
joe rogan
Yeah.
It's 1,200 years old.
So it's not a fake.
tom segura
I wonder if that's the civilization that did those lines, you know?
joe rogan
Very well could be.
They could be the same civilization that also did all those structures up there.
There might have been living amongst us.
There might have been multiple different civilizations in the past that just don't exist anymore.
If these things turn out to be real and they do have this enormous head and these weird spindly bodies and three fingers and three toes and they start finding more and more artifacts that point to that, I mean, that changes our understanding of what has existed here before.
Because whatever that thing is, it's at the very least, it's advanced enough to give itself metal implants.
Like, what's going on there?
Where it has a gold circle in its forehead?
tom segura
Implanted.
joe rogan
Implanted into its skull.
Like, what's the point of that?
I mean, because gold does have a place in electronics.
You know, they use gold in certain electronics.
It's got great kind of conductivity.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
So why does it have, what is that thing?
If it's a real thing, everybody should be, like, it should be front page.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
Look at that.
Look at that implant.
That's Jay Anderson.
He was actually just on.
tom segura
What could this mean?
joe rogan
Yeah.
Bro, it's bananas.
tom segura
And look at those eye, like the slots for the eyes.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Like a gray alien.
tom segura
Tridactyl, but yeah.
joe rogan
Like a gray alien.
And by the way, like people have described when they've had encounters, they've described things that look exactly like that.
Three fingers, three toes, spindly, big head, large eyes.
tom segura
And he went down there and he went down.
joe rogan
My friend Jesse Michaels went down there and actually touched them.
That was the first video.
He was in the room while they were doing the scans.
He said it's so strange.
He said it feels so surreal because it's so obvious that it was a real living thing.
tom segura
I don't understand how that's not like the lead story in the news.
Everywhere.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Meanwhile, they're arguing over everything.
Everything else.
Everything, whatever the fuck it is.
Can you believe what's going on with Turning Point USA?
They found aliens.
I know.
They found alien bodies.
Like, if you ever wanted alien bodies, well, show me a body.
That's an alien body.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
At the very least, it's not us.
So maybe it's from here and went extinct, or maybe it's in the ocean.
tom segura
Or the congressional testimony of like high-level whistleblowers being like, we have these whatever, this ship, whatever you want to call it, that we've, and then it's like in a congressional testimony, and everyone's like, that's cool.
joe rogan
Nobody cares.
tom segura
Nobody cares.
joe rogan
Yeah, everybody's like tick-tocking.
unidentified
But it was funny that Nikki Milnaj is on stage at the TPUSR.
tom segura
It's crazy.
It's really crazy to me.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
That's like, that's not captivating people more.
joe rogan
Well, I think, you know, people are in a trance.
There's a giant percentage of our population that's in a trance.
That should be the main news other than the wars.
That should be the main news today.
tom segura
Well, hopefully they're in a trance to watch my new special teacher on Netflix.
joe rogan
I like how you did that.
tom segura
Go ahead and zone out and watch that with your family.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Wow, comedy's fucking super important when the world's going crazy.
tom segura
It sure is.
joe rogan
When the world is going crazy right now.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
We were talking about the Epstein releases before we got started.
tom segura
Like, first of all, it's like the photo dump and the emails.
It's fucking nuts.
joe rogan
But it's also they're doing it so slowly.
Like you guys have had this stuff for a year.
tom segura
And we were promised multiple times.
It's coming.
It's coming.
joe rogan
Doesn't it seem like you could just throw all that into AI at this stage of the game?
tom segura
Yes.
joe rogan
And just redact the names of the victims and let's go.
tom segura
Yeah, of course.
joe rogan
It seems like that would take five minutes.
tom segura
I mean, it feels like, I mean, you can't help but feel like the administration is just like watching their back, and that's why it's happening.
joe rogan
Watching someone's back.
I mean, it's all speculative why they haven't released it, but it's not good.
It's not good for everybody's confidence.
And also, it's not good that this thing was going on, that they had this bizarre blackmail operation running.
That's very weird.
tom segura
Very strange.
joe rogan
Very weird.
But it kind of makes sense.
Because if you're a 60-year-old billionaire and you're a freak and you like to get your freak on, but unfortunately, you're a gigantic software developer and everybody knows who you are.
It's hard to get your freak on.
tom segura
Well, that's the thing is, it makes sense when you go like, oh, some of these dudes really liked visiting that place.
It's like, that's the only place they can go.
Right.
You can't go anywhere else.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
And that's why they set it up for them.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Eric Weinstein said that to me once.
He like, I was like, oh, okay, that makes sense.
tom segura
If you're the former president of the United States, you can't go to a nightclub.
joe rogan
Yeah, he said, I think there are people out there that provide experiences for certain people that have a hunger for them.
I was like, of course.
tom segura
Of course.
joe rogan
Of course.
And that's also how they compromise people, too, right?
tom segura
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
That's how they get you to vote the way they want you to vote and play ball.
Bobby, we got video.
You sucking a dick.
Yeah.
Yeah.
tom segura
What do you want to do?
joe rogan
What do you want to do?
Yeah.
Because I bet all those people have something on them.
That's how they stay in the game.
They have to.
You have skull and bones.
You got to suck the dick.
Otherwise, we can't trust you.
tom segura
For the Epstein shit, look at the level of people that we're visiting.
I mean, it's all at the highest level of influence, power, and fame.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
And so you go, yeah, this dude wants to do some wild shit.
He can't go to fucking, he can't go to cheetahs and get it done.
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
tom segura
He can't do it.
He's got to go somewhere.
Yeah.
What sounds good?
A private island.
joe rogan
Yeah, he can't just order up a call girl.
tom segura
Uh-uh.
It's too risky.
joe rogan
Where are you going?
I'm going to Captain Billionaire's house to suck his dick.
tom segura
I do it every Tuesday.
joe rogan
Plus, I'm on meth, and I'm really good at keeping secrets.
tom segura
Yeah.
These guys, the fucking, it's dark.
It's fucking dark.
joe rogan
So some guy comes along and says, I can take care of your problem.
tom segura
And then.
joe rogan
Yeah.
And everybody says, oh, trust me, he's a great guy.
tom segura
He's really cool.
joe rogan
And he also does this thing.
Yeah.
Great sense of humor.
His staff love him.
They also do this thing where, you know, it's like you're going to hang out with other famous people, so it must be safe.
Hey, Bill Clinton's here.
This is no problem.
jamie vernon
This is a statement released by the spokesperson or spokesman for Bill Clinton.
tom segura
Oh, let's read that.
joe rogan
Wait a minute.
There's a person who signed it.
My name is Angel Urina, spokesman for the former President Bill Clinton.
Isn't that weird?
jamie vernon
He's a deputy chief of staff for Bill Clinton.
unidentified
Okay.
joe rogan
He's still got a chief of staff.
What does he do these days?
Epstein Files Transparency Act imposes a clear legal duty on the U.S. Department of Justice to produce the full and complete record of the public demands and deserves that the public demands and deserves.
However, what the Department of Justice has released so far and the manner in which it did so makes one thing clear.
Someone or something is being protected.
We do not know whom, what, or why.
This is like the killer pretending to be the detective.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
We've got to solve this crime.
We do not know whom.
tom segura
This is the killer joining the search party.
joe rogan
We do not know whom, what, or why.
We have photos of you in a fucking hot tub, buddy.
But we do know this.
We need no such protection.
Accordingly, we call on President Trump to direct Attorney General Bondi to immediately release any remaining materials referring to, mentioning, or containing a photograph of Bill Clinton.
This includes, without limitation, any records that may exist and are subject to disclosure under the Act Public Law 119-38, enacted on November 19th, 2025, including grand jury transcripts, interview notes, photographs, and findings.
This means a deal was made.
So if you release, you have a press release like that, that means the call went well.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You got a deal in.
tom segura
Whew, we're good.
We are good.
joe rogan
All we have to do is let him run for a third term.
tom segura
And we're fine.
joe rogan
And look.
unidentified
He's.
tom segura
Dude, Clinton chilling in that hot tub, too.
joe rogan
Hey, I would chill in a hot tub, too.
It feels nice.
tom segura
Yeah, it feels nice, but it's just like what's the big deal.
joe rogan
You're chilling in a hot tub.
If I went to your house and you had a hot tub, like, let's all get in the hot tub.
I get in there.
Come on, picture me.
I'm like, fuck, dude.
I don't even know her.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Why'd you do that?
tom segura
I don't know.
I didn't know how old she was.
joe rogan
And you got cameras up all over your house.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
He knew what he was doing.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
Probably watching people do Coke in the bathroom.
You got cameras of that.
They were probably doing all kinds of shit.
tom segura
He was compromising a lot of people.
joe rogan
And made a shit ton of money doing it.
tom segura
God damn, he sure did.
joe rogan
Boy, that's what's really weird.
Like, he got gifted a giant mansion in Manhattan by that dude from Victoria.
tom segura
Victoria's Secret, yeah.
And that guy was like, yeah, he was just running my finances, but then I didn't realize what kind of guy he was.
But I gave him billions of dollars to manage.
And you're like, what?
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
That's what you do.
joe rogan
I didn't know what kind of a guy he was after he got arrested for having sex with underage girls.
tom segura
And so then I stopped working with him.
unidentified
Okay.
joe rogan
My favorite one was when they were questioning Bill Gates about it.
And he goes, well, he's dead now, so you got to be careful.
tom segura
Do you ever see that?
No.
joe rogan
Oh, it's crazy.
tom segura
That's it.
That's his story.
joe rogan
That's crazy.
She asked him why he had these interactions with Jeffrey Epstein.
And he's essentially saying it was a mistake.
I was hoping that he was going to do a lot of work with philanthropy.
He's going to help me out with philanthropy.
unidentified
Right.
tom segura
That's why I meet with him so many times.
joe rogan
But the end result, the final statement that was chilling, is like, he's dead now.
So you have to be careful.
Like, what?
tom segura
What does that mean?
joe rogan
What does that mean?
What do you mean?
Be careful to not hang yourself in jail, which is what the official story is, right?
Is that what you mean?
Be careful or you'll hang yourself in jail?
Is that what you're saying?
No, it's not what you're saying.
You're saying, be careful because someone killed him, right?
Which is what we all think, which is why there's no fucking, the cameras were down, which is why the guards were asleep, which is why his fucking, his gigantic roommate who was a murderer and a drug-dealing cop who assassinated people, who's built like a fucking gorilla.
You ever see his roommate?
tom segura
No.
joe rogan
You never saw Jeffrey Epstein's roommate?
tom segura
Uh-uh.
joe rogan
Oh, boy.
tom segura
He had a cellmate when he was there.
joe rogan
Bro, not only did he have a cellmate, he had a cellmate that murdered several people in drug deals who was a cop.
He was a gigantic roided-up psychopath.
This is the roommate.
tom segura
I remember.
joe rogan
He could get that guy to kill him for extra cigarettes, is what my point is.
He's in jail for life.
tom segura
I remember that guy?
joe rogan
That guy.
That was his fucking roommate.
Just imagine what kind of a plan you would have for the biggest defendant in any sort of high-level espionage, possibly involving foreign governments.
And you'd put him in a prison cell, a cage, with a guy who's committed four different murders.
tom segura
That guy was a cop?
unidentified
Yes.
joe rogan
Look at the build on this motherfucker.
Look at the size of this guy.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
This is the guy.
He put a murderer.
tom segura
That's nice.
joe rogan
Yeah, he's a sweet guy.
You put a murderer.
Well, he ought to have a bunch of things barking in case anyone came near his property to get back at him.
tom segura
Do you remember that famous forensic Michael Badden?
Michael Badden.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
He testified that the hyoid, I think it's called the hyoid bone that was snapped on Epstein was far more consistent with, as he says, a homicide.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
Then it bothers me so much that he says it like that.
joe rogan
Homicide.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
I think he said it was broken in two places.
tom segura
He's like, that's much more consistent with homicide than suicide.
joe rogan
Yeah, it was someone strangled him.
Someone strangled him from behind.
It was also the position.
Here it is.
Play this.
bill gates
I saw Brett doing that.
He had relationships with people he said would give to global health, which is an interest I have.
Not nearly enough philanthropy goes in that direction.
Those meetings were a mistake.
They didn't result in what he purported, and I cut them off.
That goes back a long time ago now.
So there's nothing new on that.
judy woodruff
It was reported that you continue to meet with him over several years and that, in other words, a number of meetings.
What did you do when you found out about his background?
bill gates
Well, I said I regretted having those dinners.
And there's nothing, absolutely nothing new on that.
judy woodruff
Is there a lesson for you, for anyone else looking at this?
bill gates
Well, he's dead.
So, you know, in general, you always have to be careful.
And, you know, I'm very proud of what we've done in philanthropy, very proud of the work of the foundation.
You know, that's what I get up every day and focus on.
joe rogan
Me too.
I'm a good guy.
unidentified
Jesus Christ.
joe rogan
Imagine if he was reading for a film.
You'd be like, I don't believe a word you just said.
tom segura
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
I don't believe a word you said.
tom segura
Take two.
Let's do this.
joe rogan
Okay, who wrote this?
Like, he's going to just transition from hanging out with this guy.
He's dead now to I'm really proud of the work we've done with philanthropy.
Let's shift this conversation in a much more positive place.
tom segura
That's a PR spin.
joe rogan
I'm super proud of the work we've done with philanthropy.
He got into all that stuff in the first place after the Microsoft stuff.
Because Microsoft at one point in time had all this anti-competitive accusations.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Right.
And so he was thought as being this guy that was drowning out competition, was monopolizing.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
So then he pivoted, became a philanthropist.
It's a good move.
tom segura
It is a good move.
joe rogan
You know who else did that?
The guy who invented the Nobel Prize.
tom segura
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah.
Peter Berg told me the story.
It's a cool story.
So he dies.
The guy, I forget what his first name is.
His last name is Nobel.
He died, and everybody called him the merchant of death because he made dynamite.
Oh.
So he didn't really die, though.
It was a fake story.
So he saw the stories.
He's like, hey, I'm not dead.
But oh my God, this is how people think about me?
This is how they're going to write about me after I'm dead.
I got to do something to clean my image up.
So to clean his image up, he invents the Nobel Prize.
He starts giving out these prizes for peace and for physics and Nobel Prize.
Literature.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
And so then the Nobel Prize becomes synonymous with excellence.
The name Nobel is now connected to that instead of connected to killing a bunch of motherfuckers with dynamite.
tom segura
That's a great marketing move on his part.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
What was his real name?
jamie vernon
Alfred Nobel.
joe rogan
Alfred Nobel.
Made dynamite, right?
That was the thing?
jamie vernon
Yeah, but I'm looking at the Nobel Prize.
It says there's a well-known story about the origin of the Nobel Prize, although historians have been unable to verify it and some dismiss it as a myth.
joe rogan
Well, let's find out if the story of him being called the merchant of death are true and the fake death when people thought he died.
Is that true?
jamie vernon
I mean, I have to.
joe rogan
Just check that out real quick.
Look that out.
I bet it's true.
tom segura
That's a good marketing move.
joe rogan
It's a move.
It's a move that people do, you know?
tom segura
Well, that was also what, you know, some really evil people have done also, you know, like if you want to, like, serial killers, you know, like John Wayne Gacy was like, I do clown parties for kids.
Like, it's like, look over here.
I'm a fun guy.
You know, Cosby was always like, you know, telling people how to live their life.
jamie vernon
Yeah.
tom segura
Like, people are going to be able to do it.
joe rogan
Don't tell dirty jokes.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
Don't curse.
joe rogan
Don't swear.
Yeah.
He would call people up and tell them not to swear anymore.
Yeah.
tom segura
Matty Murphy.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, famously.
tom segura
Yeah.
With Florn Philf.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, he did do that.
He did do that.
I remember one time Wanda Sykes interviewed him at like some award thing.
He was in the crowd and she came up to him to interview him.
And he was like so rude to her.
tom segura
He had so much disdain.
I remember that too.
joe rogan
Remember that?
It was weird.
Okay, Nobel grew extremely wealthy from inventions like dynamite and blasting gelatin, which are widely used in warfare and earned him the nickname the merchant of death in the press.
1888 French newspaper mistakenly published his obituary after his brother's death, condemning him as a man who became rich by finding ways to kill more people faster.
This stock, this shock, is widely seen as prompting him to rethink how he'd be remembered.
So it is true.
There should be no dispute of this.
In his will of 1895, he left most of his fortune to fund prizes for those who shall be conferred the greatest benefit on mankind.
Of course, you're dead.
You don't need your money.
Nobel never publicly explained his motives.
Fucking duh.
So historians emphasize that any account of his reason is an informed reconstruction, not a direct statement from him.
Okay, I get that because they're historians.
Did you see?
tom segura
Did you see how I think it was these days?
You don't know what has to be confirmed or not, but it looked like on the Kennedy Center, they started putting the name Trump on it.
joe rogan
Yeah, he added his name to it.
tom segura
Yeah, it's crazy.
And he took out the Kennedy Rose Garden.
unidentified
You're like, what?
tom segura
Just take it away.
Now it's like a cement fucking thing.
joe rogan
There's nothing nuttier than the plaques underneath the president's family.
tom segura
That's insane.
That's insane.
joe rogan
Shane and I were just reading them the other day.
tom segura
It's insane.
joe rogan
How is this real?
tom segura
It doesn't feel real.
joe rogan
And you're just like, how are you allowed to do that?
That's the thing.
How is he allowed to write that?
tom segura
In the White House, you can just probably, as president, do what you want in the White House.
joe rogan
Turns out you obviously can.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because, but nobody ever did it before.
tom segura
Those are going to get taken down.
joe rogan
No, they'll be up forever.
tom segura
I don't think so.
joe rogan
They're going to leave it like that forever.
tom segura
No fucking way.
joe rogan
Yeah, like a museum piece.
tom segura
It's so crazy.
joe rogan
They should have like the Trump wing.
This is what happened when he was a president.
tom segura
Look at this fucking lunatic.
joe rogan
The auto-pen photo of Joe Biden.
tom segura
And the actual train of written crazy.
This is widely considered the worst president of all.
Like, what are you talking about?
joe rogan
It should be like a museum.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
It should be the facts of his presidency, what happened during his term.
You know, the Iraq war started and da-da-da.
It should be that.
tom segura
Of course.
joe rogan
That's it.
If that, you know.
tom segura
And under Reagan, it's like Reagan liked Trump and Trump liked him too.
joe rogan
Trump was a fan of Reagan.
unidentified
What?
tom segura
Why is that radical?
joe rogan
Reagan was a fan of Trump.
What?
tom segura
It's yeah.
Guys, nuts.
It's crazy.
joe rogan
But you can't just let someone just fucking fully swim in it like that.
tom segura
I know.
joe rogan
So he needs like a right-hand man.
He goes, sir.
tom segura
I think they just.
joe rogan
Let me just, I understand the motive.
tom segura
Well, he's also losing it too.
You can tell.
joe rogan
Well, I think everybody does when you get to a certain age, right?
tom segura
Yeah, of course.
I mean, the guy's about to be 80, right?
joe rogan
Right.
So there's no.
And also, the stress of going through what that guy went through where they were trying to jail him when they were going after him with the Russia thing, the Russia hoax, and all that shit.
Like, they were trying everything they could to destroy him.
Just that alone's got to break your brain.
tom segura
It radicalizes you.
It makes sense.
joe rogan
And then they took a shot at him.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Somebody shot him.
Then that guy dies.
And then when the guy dies, they find out that his apartment's been professionally scrubbed.
They find out he was in a BlackRock commercial like two years before that.
tom segura
He was?
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
tom segura
The shooter?
joe rogan
The shooter.
Oh, yeah.
tom segura
Was he an actor?
joe rogan
In the film.
Yeah.
But obviously he was connected to some people that knew some people.
What does that mean?
It might mean nothing.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
But there's also a lot of weirdness to his past.
tom segura
It does.
joe rogan
He doesn't have a social media profile.
It was like he seems like an MK Ultra plant.
tom segura
This presidency, though, does feel like a parody of a real thing.
Like, it doesn't even feel real.
joe rogan
There's a lot of stuff that doesn't feel real.
For sure, the Rob Reiner thing didn't feel real.
Oh, my God.
That seems so insane.
tom segura
You know, I didn't realize because I obviously knew him.
I knew Rob Reiner as the actor from All in the Family, which he was great in that role.
And then I have memories of like, I always think of when Harry met Sally, the Princess Bride.
Yep.
And I was like, oh, yeah, you know, spy stand by me.
So I'm like, oh, you know, great storyteller, comedy.
I didn't realize until he died that he did misery.
I had no idea that was him.
joe rogan
Yeah, he did misery too.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
He did so many great films.
tom segura
He really did.
He really understood like human emotion and storytelling across the board.
Because it's one thing to be proficient in comedy.
And you see this sometimes with comedy really high-level like Adam McKay did so much high-level comedy with Saturday Night Live and then Talladega Nights and those big Will Farrell movies.
And then his pivot into drama is like exceptional.
He's really, really good at it.
And it's like really remarkable when they can make that jump.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
He's really, really good.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Well, Jordan Peele, he's fantastic.
tom segura
Yeah.
Another one.
joe rogan
Yeah.
He's made some giant horror movies that are just like.
tom segura
And he was so funny in comedy.
I know.
joe rogan
It's weird how good they are.
It's weird how different they are, too.
tom segura
Yeah.
How they go like, I'm comedy, I'm comedy.
And then like this hard pivot into a totally different lane and be not just, let me try it, but be like excellent at it.
joe rogan
Yeah.
But I kind of get it, right?
It's like if you can get really good at comedy, like which is a complicated thing to do, you for sure have other creative thoughts.
tom segura
Yeah, you're not access to other things.
joe rogan
And you're not really probably using those.
tom segura
Yeah, and I think also they get, I think a lot of those guys get bored.
joe rogan
Especially running a sketch show, right?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like after a while, you just beat all the topics to death.
You know, I mean, how many topics on, especially like a mid-sketch show, are so derivative.
tom segura
Yeah, of course.
joe rogan
Yeah, there's a lot of that.
tom segura
And they just go, I did it.
There's nothing else to jump into.
joe rogan
Well, you might have like nine episodes you have to bang out.
Well, I don't have to tell you.
You're actually in the middle of it.
tom segura
I'm in the middle of it.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
We just finished writing season two.
joe rogan
But you have your show is a giant advantage.
You could just, you could go so far and be so ridiculous.
tom segura
They kind of just let us do what we want, which is really crazy.
I got the same notes I got the first season.
Don't say the N-word.
That was basically it.
That's like, that's my everything else.
They're like, yeah, you can do that.
joe rogan
It's such a crazy show, dude.
unidentified
Crazy.
joe rogan
It's really fun, though.
tom segura
It's so much fun.
I had so much fun doing it.
I can't believe I get to do it again.
And it's just, it is such a blast.
We get to make these like sketches and like little short films that are like whatever we can think of, whatever the craziest thing we can think of.
And they're just like, yeah, do that.
And they gave us a mandate.
They're like, we'd rather tell you that's too far than you should have gone further.
joe rogan
Right.
tom segura
So they're just like, you can make it as crazy as you want.
unidentified
That's nuts.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
But that's the beautiful thing about Netflix: the variety of what's on there.
It's just so bananas.
It's so wide-ranging.
There's so much shit on there.
tom segura
I just watched The Beast in Me.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
I'm on episode three right now.
Don't tell me anything.
tom segura
It gets so much better.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
tom segura
I'm sure it does.
joe rogan
How good is Claire Dane?
tom segura
Claire Dane's amazing.
Matthew Rees plays.
joe rogan
He's a psycho.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
That guy's great.
tom segura
He's phenomenal.
And he plays that part so exceptionally well.
I mean, it's just so good.
joe rogan
Yeah, you can know people like him.
tom segura
You know people like him, and you know, you're like, this is a fucking psycho, dude.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
He's great at it.
tom segura
And it's like in the eyes.
It's always in the eyes.
You know, you see it in the eyes.
It's like.
joe rogan
Yeah, he's really, he's got a darkness in him.
unidentified
He really does.
He ain't faking it.
joe rogan
He ain't faking it.
tom segura
You know what else I just saw?
I saw it on Peacock, and I was like, I was like, I don't, like, I don't have Peacock.
I'm like, I don't fuck.
What are they?
This is like, you know, fucking Kevin Hart in a bathtub interview.
Like, I don't know what's on Peacock.
I love Kevin, by the way.
But like, it's like, you know what I mean?
Like these fun, still, that's what I thought Peacock was or old.
joe rogan
NBC.
tom segura
Yeah, reruns of like their old friends.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
I'm like, I don't want to fuck it.
And I got recommended to watch The Day of the Jackal.
What's that?
Fucking fantastic.
joe rogan
Really?
tom segura
Yeah.
It's a thriller that is super high production and very cinematic, but the writing and the acting unbelievable.
joe rogan
Who's in it?
tom segura
Eddie Redmain.
I think it's his name.
Eddie Redmain is the lead in it.
And I don't know that many of the names of the other actors, but it's incredibly produced.
joe rogan
Is it a series?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
How many episodes?
tom segura
So they're making season two now.
I think season one was 10 episodes.
unidentified
Wow.
tom segura
$120 million budget for the season.
joe rogan
Whoa, I'm writing this down.
Day of the Jackal.
tom segura
Day of the Jackal was excellent.
Yeah.
Okay.
This is it.
jamie vernon
Let's skim through the trailer.
We're going to watch it.
joe rogan
No, let's watch this fucking trail.
tom segura
It's fucking, that's, that's Eddie.
It's really good, dude.
I couldn't believe how captivated I was by it.
Really, really well done.
It's a like an espionage type of thriller.
joe rogan
Those are my favorite.
tom segura
Mine too.
But this is what I watch instead of, you know, we were talking about comedy.
I watch this shit.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, me too.
tom segura
Yeah.
He's really good in it, but so is everybody else.
They're really, really good.
joe rogan
Okay.
tom segura
I'm going to see him.
I can't recommend it enough.
joe rogan
Okay.
I'm on it.
tom segura
Really good.
joe rogan
Yeah, there's enough shit to watch these days.
I'll tell you that.
tom segura
Do you watch Dave?
joe rogan
You're sick.
What?
tom segura
Do you watch Dave's special?
joe rogan
Dave's Chappelle?
No, I didn't see it yet.
tom segura
It's great.
joe rogan
Yeah.
I saw some clips.
tom segura
It's great.
I mean, it's vintage.
It's Dave.
He does what he does so well.
There's silliness, seriousness.
Seriousness.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
Some philosophy.
Lots of social commentary, provocative things, hilarious.
It's good.
It's really good.
joe rogan
I'll check it out.
I'm sure it's going to be awesome.
He's always awesome.
He never misses.
tom segura
He doesn't.
I mean, he pissed a lot of people off, which is always fun.
joe rogan
Yeah.
I saw he went after Bill Maher.
tom segura
Yeah, he's a fucked dude.
unidentified
It's very funny.
joe rogan
I never said this publicly about fuck that dude.
tom segura
It's very funny.
It's a good special, man.
It's really good.
joe rogan
It's funny.
tom segura
Dave's in top four.
I love that for me, by the way, because my special comes out Christmas Eve, right?
And then six days later, Ricky Gervais comes out.
unidentified
Wow.
tom segura
And that was supposed to be, that was the release timeline, right?
They're like, there's one earlier in the month, and they're like, you'll be Christmas Eve.
A week later, Ricky Gervais.
I was like, cool.
And then like three days prior, I get a call before it's announced.
And they're like, hey, we got to tell you, we're dropping a special, unannounced Chappelle special tonight.
And I go, great.
And they're like, I know, you know, it's going to take up a lot of oxygen in the room, obviously, because it's Dave, right?
I go, yeah, I mean, I understand.
I go, you realize this is like being a musical artist, and I've been working on my album, and you guys are like, we're so excited.
And then you call me, you're like, just so you know, tomorrow we're releasing Radiohead's new album.
And you're like, thanks.
I mean, there's like, there's nothing you can do.
It's like the biggest guy is coming out with it, you know?
But it's hilarious.
He's great.
joe rogan
But people will watch it.
It's only an hour and then they're going to want to watch more.
tom segura
That's the, well, it's good.
That's one of the thoughts is they go, like, it just makes stand-up more popular.
joe rogan
100%.
Yeah.
I think so.
Yeah.
Stand-up is very popular right now.
tom segura
It's incredibly popular.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
I mean, there's more arena acts.
I just saw Nate Bergasi added a 3 p.m. show out here.
tom segura
Nate is on.
But Nate's thing makes sense when you think about it.
When you start doing stand-up, there's this thing that happens.
When you're early on, young doing stand-up, and you start to do spots, a lot of people will be like, hey, if you can, curse less, be clean.
And you're like, that's not who I am.
And they're like, all right, well, and they always say this thing, like, you'll get more opportunities.
Different opportunities will come to you if you're like that.
unidentified
Right.
tom segura
You're like, whatever.
It's just, I don't do that.
When you're really funny, like Nate is, and you get really good, what you see on the business side of it is that when he announces a show, like when I announce a show, a couple might go, let's go see him, right?
Like, they'll buy two tickets.
But when Nate announces a show, that couple will bring their children, their parents, their in-laws, their neighbors.
So, two tickets you can sell.
He could sell 12.
joe rogan
And everybody's going to enjoy it.
tom segura
And they're all going to enjoy it.
joe rogan
Yeah, because even if, even though it's just clean, it's always clean.
It's hilarious.
tom segura
It's hilarious.
He's really funny.
But he's really funny again.
joe rogan
Gaffigan has that thing too.
tom segura
Definitely.
The whole family can go.
joe rogan
Sebastian has that thing too.
Like, you can bring anybody to see Sebastian.
tom segura
And they'll all have a good time.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
But yeah, he can do three fucking arena shows in a city.
It's crazy.
joe rogan
Yeah, it is nuts.
But there's more people doing that now.
Like I mentioned, Sebastian, you, Bert, Tony.
I mean, there's Shane.
Shane's doing a football arena.
tom segura
That's crazy.
joe rogan
A stadium.
tom segura
Yeah, he's doing it.
joe rogan
He's doing like 90,000 people.
tom segura
Yeah, Lincoln Financial, I think it is.
joe rogan
There's people doing that now where there's so many of them where when we were coming up, the only people that had done it were Dane and Dice Club.
tom segura
Dice, yeah.
joe rogan
It was dice playing Dane Cook.
tom segura
And for that, you have to just go like, that is the internet, man.
The internet made stand-up global.
joe rogan
Well, the internet made Dane, right?
tom segura
Right, right.
joe rogan
That's how it was.
Like, he got huge from MySpace.
He was the first guy.
tom segura
The fact that so many of us can move those kinds of tickets.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
tom segura
It's a it's because it's global.
joe rogan
100%.
tom segura
When it was just like, hey, catch my special at Comedy Central at nine o'clock on Friday, right?
It's not going to have the same reach.
joe rogan
Right, right.
And it's just clips, too.
Clips get shared, and then there's so much word of mouth.
It's like that's the one good thing about social media: if something comes out and people like it, whether it's a new special that dropped or a new song or anything, it just gets shared.
It just gets shared.
So crazy.
Yeah.
And things just take off.
tom segura
I know.
It's wild.
I never, I mean, I did 40 arenas this year.
Like, I was never thinking that would be a thing.
joe rogan
You know, I remember when I met you.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
I met you in 2007.
We did that Real Men of Comedy tour together.
Yeah.
I met you in Phoenix.
We did that little Hollywood theater, which I love.
tom segura
That's celebrity theater.
That's right.
joe rogan
That place is awesome.
tom segura
That's one of my favorites.
joe rogan
In the round and it spins.
tom segura
It's awesome.
joe rogan
That place rules.
And I always love Phoenix, period.
They're fun.
That's a fun place.
tom segura
Yeah, that's a really good place.
Yeah, I went back there on this tour too.
I went to the, I did the big arena there this time.
It was fucking amazing.
It was one of my favorite shows of this tour.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's Phoenix rules.
Yeah, I've done the arena in Phoenix too.
It's fucking fun, man.
They're fun.
tom segura
It's a fun city.
joe rogan
Yeah, because they don't have much culture, but they do a lot of blow.
tom segura
They do have a lot of people.
joe rogan
They like to party.
unidentified
They party hard.
tom segura
Phoenix, Arizona just parties hard.
joe rogan
They party hard.
Well, it's like, think about the people that had to settle that place first.
And you get cowboys and Mexicans, just fucking wild people.
tom segura
It is, dude.
joe rogan
And then you got Scottsdale, which is all rich people.
tom segura
I remember we went to dinner, like that, I think, the night before, just like a steakhouse.
And we were just like, we were like observing that when you go to dinner at a steakhouse in Phoenix, it feels like an after-party, but it's just dinner.
Do you know what I mean?
Like the vibe in there is that people are having a fucking good time.
joe rogan
They're partying.
Yeah.
tom segura
That's what Phoenix feels like.
joe rogan
Yeah.
I always liked it because it was not Hollywood, you know?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
In every way.
It was just not Hollywood.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Those people had no preconceived ideas of their own celebrity.
They didn't want to become famous.
Like the problem with LA is the entire culture is wrapped around the possibility that you might become famous.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
And that everybody really secretly wants to become famous.
And some people might make it and some people won't.
But the reason that they came there in the first place is because they wanted to be famous.
Phoenix, they just want Coke.
Get some Coke.
I fucking party.
I'm playing golf in the day.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
And I'm doing coke.
tom segura
I'm having a good fucking time.
joe rogan
They're wild people.
tom segura
That theater thing, too.
There's a.
I don't know if I'm right about this, but I've been told that there's only two, maybe three theaters left in the round in the country.
joe rogan
That's the only one that I know of.
tom segura
Well, there's the one in Long Island that I also did that was, it's so fucking which one's that?
Westbury Music Hall, I think it's called.
joe rogan
Okay.
tom segura
Is that what it's called?
joe rogan
I've heard of that place.
I didn't know that was in the round.
tom segura
That's in the round.
It is so fucking fun.
joe rogan
The round rules.
tom segura
I just did it.
I did it a couple months ago.
It was one of the most fun shows of the entire tour.
joe rogan
I try to explain to people who had never done it, like, oh, arena.
I'm like, I'm telling you, it's oddly intimate because everybody's facing everybody else.
We're all in this together.
It's not just a mass of people staring at a stage.
tom segura
Right.
joe rogan
We're all wrapped up together.
tom segura
Yes.
It's cooler.
It's cool.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's a better vibe.
It feels better.
tom segura
You would love this theater.
joe rogan
I'm sure.
tom segura
Yeah.
It's a fucking rat.
joe rogan
I love that Phoenix one.
That one rules.
But do any show that you could do in the round?
It's like the first time I did it, I remember, I don't understand.
Where do I move?
tom segura
I think the first one I did was when we met.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
Because I was also.
joe rogan
It might have been my first one, too.
tom segura
I was kind of like intimidated.
I was like, what the fuck?
And then somebody told me once, it might have been Louie told me that I think it was him that told me when I was doing the like going into arenas, he's like, your instinct will be to stay in the middle, but you should go further out to the edges.
Because when you're further out to the outside of the stage that's in the round, you're actually open to more people.
Does that make sense?
joe rogan
Yes.
tom segura
Because if you're on this edge of the round stage, more people can see you over here.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
And you're closer to them.
tom segura
You're closer to them, too.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's more intimate.
If you're in the middle, it's like you're all standoffish.
You have so much, you can come closer to me.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Why are you all the way over there?
tom segura
Yeah, that's right.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Walking around too is fun.
tom segura
That to me is, I told somebody, is what I think makes my performance better, is that I'm a naturally kind of standstill guy.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
But the round makes me move.
Even though it's subtle movement, that keeps you more engaged because there's a constant movement to it.
Even if it's slow.
joe rogan
It's fun.
tom segura
It is a fun thing.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's fun.
And it is weird that so many of us get to do that now.
It's so bizarre.
It wasn't the case at all.
tom segura
It's so bizarre.
joe rogan
I did some nutty ones with Dave.
We did the Tacoma Dome.
That was 25,000 people.
That was so funny.
So nuts.
It was so nuts.
It was so many people.
tom segura
It's so many.
That's so many.
joe rogan
It's very strange.
tom segura
I did a couple with you guys.
I did New Orleans with you guys.
joe rogan
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, that was fun.
tom segura
And I think we did Nashville or something or Memphis together too.
joe rogan
Yeah, I think it was Nashville.
tom segura
The most fun one, though, ever, I think this will always be in my memory, is when we did the like Vegas is back in the round.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, that was fun.
tom segura
At the MGM Arena.
joe rogan
Yeah, that was fun.
tom segura
And I was unannounced.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
And a couple other people were too.
I forget who was on that, but I remember the absolute like pandemonium of that place where I was like shaking because it was like things had been shut down and they're like, this show is back.
The shows are back.
And this is the show to open Vegas again.
joe rogan
I don't think we'll ever feel that again.
tom segura
Not like that.
joe rogan
Hopefully not.
Because that means that the world went crazy again.
tom segura
That's exactly right.
And it was like, you can't duplicate that.
You can't duplicate it.
It's almost like when you have an improv off-the-cuff line of something that just happened.
Like you can't manufacture that.
You said the thing because this happened.
Right.
And like the world had shut down.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
And they're like, here's a stand-up show in the round, in the arena, Joe, Dave, and the crowd was just like, I mean, it was like a fever pitch.
joe rogan
It was so fun.
There were so many people hanging out backstage.
Remember that?
tom segura
Oh, my God.
joe rogan
It was so many people.
I was like, I've never seen this many celebrities in our shows.
tom segura
There was a room.
They were like, this is the red room.
And this was backstage.
And there was like 200 people in there.
joe rogan
Oh, so packed.
tom segura
And I brought you in there because you didn't know about it either.
I was like, have you been in here?
And you're like, what the fuck is all this?
joe rogan
Because it's just a whole extra room.
tom segura
A whole extra room of like just people hanging out.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
A whole extra room of comics that I hadn't seen in years because everybody was kind of celebrating the fact that we could do shows again.
tom segura
It was the best.
joe rogan
They all came out.
tom segura
That was such a special show.
joe rogan
Yeah.
I mean, there was boxers there and rappers.
It was like people were out.
It's like there's something to do again.
It was like there was a feeling in the air.
It was so, and people, some people were still scared.
There's still people wearing masks.
tom segura
Yeah.
It was July.
I remember that.
It was July.
joe rogan
Some people just didn't want to let it go.
They were still connected to this idea that we could all die at any moment.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
That's true.
joe rogan
I still see those people.
tom segura
Yeah, they're still in some places.
joe rogan
I had some people that got broken.
They got broken.
They got broken.
The stress of that whole thing.
tom segura
It also kind of depends on who you're around too, right?
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
tom segura
Because, I mean, I think you could put me with certain people, and then I would have been even more apprehensive.
joe rogan
Well, that was the thing that I felt about coming here, like really quickly, that people here were not nearly as scared as people are in California.
The whole attitude of the government here was very different.
They were like, things should stay open.
I remember I went and met with the governor and had dinner with him.
And he was like, you know, we got to let people live their lives.
They need freedom.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, you should be able to make your own decisions doing this.
I was like, yeah, I agree.
And this is like before the vaccine.
tom segura
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah.
And people had already started doing shows out here.
We started doing shows out here early.
We tested everybody.
Remember, we did those stub shows?
tom segura
Oh, that's right.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Dave and I did these shows at Stubbs.
We did a whole series of shows.
tom segura
Which is an outdoor venue.
joe rogan
Yeah.
And we tested the whole crowd.
So we tested these people for like an hour before the show.
Everybody queued up.
Everybody got tested.
And we only wound up removing like two different people that were positive.
tom segura
That's it?
joe rogan
Yeah.
Yeah.
Most people knew that they weren't sick, you know?
And we weren't doing PCR, right?
Which is the one that really gets a lot of false positives.
They found out recently there was an estimate that PCR testing, the false positives, might have been as high as 86%.
86?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
The guy who invented the PCR testing, Kerry Mullis, said it should never be used to detect diseases.
It's like, it's not what it's for.
And he said, if you ramp the cycles up high enough, you could find almost anything in people.
tom segura
I did something once that's shameful.
I had to test for like a trip somewhere, and then I had to do it on a Zoom with somebody.
And it came out positive.
So I threw it out the window.
And then they were like, where is it?
I go, my kid just threw it out the window.
And they're like, what was it?
I was like, I don't remember.
I'll do it again.
And then I just waited a week.
joe rogan
I remember the second time I tested positive.
So I tested positive once.
That was the whole horse dewormer CNN thing.
And then the second time I tested positive, I didn't even know I had it.
I couldn't believe it was real.
I came in here sniffly.
I came in here straight from the gym.
And I said, I got the sniffles.
I said to Mercy, the nurse, I said, I go, must be COVID.
Just joking around.
And she goes, actually, you're positive.
I'm like, no fucking way.
Like, no way.
tom segura
Because you felt fine.
joe rogan
So I got IV vitamin drip, NAD, the whole deal.
24 hours later, I was negative.
tom segura
That NAD shit's amazing.
Amazing.
And I also, I'll say this, and this is, I'm telling you, I have, knock on wood, I have not gotten sick in a while.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, you're healthy now.
tom segura
I'm healthy.
joe rogan
That's how it works.
That's how it works.
tom segura
But during the movie I did over the summer and during production on series first season one of my show, there were days.
Like, I remember the first day we were shooting Bad Thoughts Season 1, I was getting a cold.
And I did NAD, like 500 milligrams or whatever, like the high dose, three days in a row.
And I was no longer, and I had never experienced anything like that.
Because I was the type of person where like, I get a cold and I am fucked for like weeks.
And then the next time that I felt this, like, I'm like, you know, you feel, you know, you're like, oh, I'm getting sick.
It would, I did, I was like, I'm doing the NAD thing again.
Three days in a row, just jamming that shit into me, like high dosage, completely went away.
That's crazy.
It didn't dip into like, now you're really sick.
It just was like, I'm getting sick.
I'm not sick anymore.
joe rogan
Yeah.
That was part of my COVID routine.
The first time I had COVID, I did NAD along with IV vitamins.
I don't even think I mentioned NAD when I did that little video that went viral.
But that was, I recommend that to anybody whenever they get sick.
It's unbelievable.
High dose of vitamin C is amazing, too.
Amazing.
tom segura
Can't believe it.
joe rogan
Yeah, high-dose vitamins intravenously when you're not feeling well is phenomenal because it gives your body all the weapons that it needs to fight off whatever the fuck it's dealing with.
tom segura
I feel like doing it tomorrow.
joe rogan
You should do it tomorrow.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
You should do it all the time.
You know what else you should start doing?
Like I told you, red light bed.
tom segura
I know.
You've been on that for a minute.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's amazing.
It's incredible.
tom segura
You said it helps your vision?
joe rogan
It helped my vision.
100%.
tom segura
I don't even understand that.
joe rogan
Well, it's a lot of skin stuff.
Red light helps, it gets collagen or something.
Let's put that into our sponsor.
Perplexity.
What is the benefits that red light has on your vision?
Why does it work?
But it works 100%.
I can tell you for a fact.
There's two things that I've done.
One thing, I've taken a lot of supplements for eyesight.
I always talk about this company, Pure Encapsulations.
I have no affiliation with them.
I just buy their stuff.
They have a thing called macular support.
Yeah, I take that stuff.
So I take that stuff, and I've been very consistent with that.
It has a bunch of new.
I showed it to Huberman, and he went over the list and he was like, oh, this is all great stuff.
I take that, and I do red light multiple days a week.
And it took a while.
In the beginning, I thought it was actually making my eyesight worse.
tom segura
Because your eyes are covered during it.
joe rogan
No, I keep them open.
tom segura
Keep your eyes open.
joe rogan
Red light.
Yeah, red light therapy using deep red wavelengths around 60, 670 NM.
I don't know what they mean nanometers.
Shows promise in improving declining vision by boosting mitochondrial function in the retinal cells.
Studies indicate benefits, particularly for age-related vision loss.
That's me.
Macular degeneration and other eye conditions.
Morning exposure appears most effective with effects lasting up to a week.
So I do it, I try to do it three times a week.
tom segura
How long do you do it for?
joe rogan
I do it 20 minutes.
It says short sessions, like three minutes weekly, can enhance color contrast vision by 17 to 20% adults over 34 with greater gains in older participants.
That's me.
tom segura
I'm getting it.
joe rogan
It makes a big difference.
Therapy supports retinal health by reducing inflammation, improving visual acuity, and slowing proto-photoreceptor decline.
Emerging evidence also suggests help for dry eyes, myopia progression in children, and diabetic retinopathy.
It works.
tom segura
It works.
joe rogan
I'm telling you, it works 100% with me.
I used to struggle reading the screen sometimes.
It would be kind of blurry.
I'd have to like, Jamie, make it bigger.
Now I can see things way better than I used to be.
When I said Jamie, make it bigger.
I used to say I used to.
tom segura
I wear glasses all the time now.
joe rogan
I don't need them when I look at text messages anymore.
I don't need them when I read emails anymore.
And I don't need them on my computer anymore, which is a big one.
tom segura
That's a big one.
joe rogan
Because I always used it when I wrote.
And then I realized the other day, like, oh my God, I'm writing and I don't have my glasses on.
unidentified
Joey Diaz will be so happy if I do those fucking glasses.
tom segura
You're wearing your glasses with me.
joe rogan
I called him up today.
I go, I'm doing a podcast with Security.
unidentified
He goes, ah, he met Pepe LePupe over there in France, and now he's making croissants.
joe rogan
Who's this fucking guy with his glasses?
tom segura
Glasses.
He's always on me for that.
Claiming.
I mean, as Joey Diaz.
It's not Pepe Le Pew.
His name is Gianbasta.
And it's Italian.
It's an Italian bakery.
Yes.
joe rogan
Well, it's a problem.
tom segura
It is a problem.
joe rogan
That chocolate croissant you gave me is a real problem.
tom segura
Tell you.
joe rogan
Buttery and flaky and perfect.
tom segura
It's perfect, dude.
It's why I fell in love with you.
I love a little more chocolate in there.
I can tell them.
I can tell.
joe rogan
A little more chocolate.
Just a little.
Don't be stingy with the chocolate.
tom segura
I fell in love with that chocolate croissant when I lived in L.A.
And you know, that guy was in my neighborhood.
Oh, that's how this all started.
joe rogan
That's a problem.
tom segura
And I would walk down there, and sometimes I would buy like two dozen.
And then I would walk back to my house, and I would give away croissants to people walking down the street.
I'd be like, you got to try these.
joe rogan
Just regular people?
tom segura
Regular people.
I didn't even know them.
I go, I just got these croissants.
joe rogan
What if they thought you were psycho?
tom segura
I mean, I guess they didn't, but they would take them.
And I would, I mean, I didn't give them all away.
I would eat a lot of them too.
I stayed in touch with this guy, and I would, every once in a while, would go there and I would get some of their pastries and I would do like an Instagram video.
Like, hey, I'm at this place, and I would just say it.
And then I became friends with them.
And they go, Hey, you know, when you do that, they're like 100 people came today.
I was like, oh, that's cool.
It was just like a friend.
There was no business relationship.
I was doing it because I liked it.
We always stayed in touch.
And I moved here.
And I go, oh, when I'm in LA, I'm going to try to stop by and see you guys.
That kind of thing.
And we stayed in touch.
And I always be like, it would be awesome if you opened one in Austin.
That conversation continued.
And then eventually we talked, like, hey, what if we really did this?
And that conversation started like over a year ago.
And then our fixed location will open in March, but we have a pop-up right now.
joe rogan
I just don't know how you have the time for all this.
tom segura
Well, I'm not, here's the thing.
I'm not the one, like, I don't bake.
joe rogan
Right.
tom segura
You know, I'm a business partner in this, and I market it in that I promote it.
But the easiest thing is to market something that's fantastic.
joe rogan
Right.
tom segura
And I actually thought about the fact that I was like, for me, this is like, like, people trust your opinion on one of the reasons I think that Onit was successful with you is that they're like, this guy knows workouts.
He knows vitamins.
He knows like they, you have credibility in that.
You know what I mean?
Like having credibility in something is really important.
For me, it's like, if there's one thing I completely trust myself on, is if I'm like, this tastes good, I don't doubt it.
I'm like, this is good.
I know what it's good.
I've eaten at the best restaurants all over the world.
And this is like my favorite, one of my favorite things has always been croissants and things like this.
So when I had his and I knew they were amazing, it was like, there's no like, I'm selling it.
I'm not like being like, oh, you should, you know, I'm not, I'm making up, this shit's amazing.
So all I do is go, like, it's open.
It's fucking amazing.
And we're selling, we've sold out every day.
joe rogan
That's incredible.
tom segura
We've never not sold out.
joe rogan
Well, once you eat one of them, I get it.
tom segura
Yeah, it's fucking amazing.
And he's always coming up with, like, at first, I was like, oh, we're opening a croissant place.
But he's doing like, you know, like the homemade focaccia bread, Italian sandwiches.
He does homemade pizza.
It's all every day.
And he's whatever like inspires him, he makes that.
It's all, he's amazing.
So it's like the easiest thing to be like, yeah, this is my bakery.
unidentified
Food.
tom segura
Yeah, I fucking love it.
unidentified
Such a drug.
joe rogan
I've thought about doing that with an Italian deli.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
I've talked to Giovanni very briefly.
The guy in the USA deli, yeah.
That place?
Opening up one of those out here.
How incredible would that be?
tom segura
Incredible.
joe rogan
Those sandwiches, me and Joe DeRosa, we send each other sandwiches.
tom segura
Yeah.
Joe has his sandwich place.
joe rogan
His sandwich place is great.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Joey Rose's is fucking great.
I sent him this place in Toronto.
God, what is it called?
Something crudeau?
Hold on a second.
I'll find it.
Oh, what happened to?
Oh, the iPhone made everything different.
Where'd you put it on there?
unidentified
There you go.
tom segura
Is that it?
joe rogan
Search in the bottom.
Crude pizza.
That's it.
Crude.
It's in Toronto.
The sandwiches.
Go to their Instagram.
If you can go, where's his crudo pizza up there?
That's their Instagram.
Go down to their Instagram and find some of their fucking sandwiches, bro.
Look at these fucking sandwiches.
tom segura
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
Bro.
Look at these sandwiches, bro.
With their homemade bread.
Look at these are insane.
And the bread's got a nice little char on it.
And the bread comes out piping hot from the oven and they make the sandwich on this piping hot bread.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Show me one of them videos where they're pulling the sandwiches out and making them because there's a few where you get to see how hot the bread is.
Scroll down a little bit.
Oh, no, stop, stop, stop, stop.
Go up.
No, no, no.
Oh, look at that, Tommy.
Look at it.
No, no, no, you missed it.
Watch this when he cuts it open.
tom segura
Oh, and this, yeah.
joe rogan
Oh, look at that.
Tamortadella.
Look at this.
Jesus.
Oh, my God.
Look how insane that is.
This is my drug.
Like, this is, if I have a problem with food, it's this.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's Italian cold-cut sandwiches and pasta.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Those are the problems.
I have a real problem with not eating that.
There's olive oil on it.
Look how he seals it up.
Look at this.
Oh, look how it comes out of the oven, bro.
Are you kidding me?
tom segura
You know what my guy started making now?
unidentified
What?
tom segura
Like, he's just on a whim.
He's like, I made lasagna today.
joe rogan
Oh, no.
tom segura
So he's doing, and then he's doing like different versions of it.
Did one with like brisket in it, like just crazy things.
And it just goes.
joe rogan
Of course.
tom segura
Yeah, it's called, by the way, it's called Chicho Bomba, which is what you call it.
unidentified
That's the name of it?
tom segura
Yeah, it's the name of the bakery.
It's called Chicho Bomba, which is what you call a little fat ass kid in Italy.
Because bombas like explode.
So like when it gets a little fat ass.
joe rogan
That's funny.
It's called a fat ass.
tom segura
Yeah, it's called a little fat ass.
joe rogan
Little fat ass kid.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's hilarious.
tom segura
Great idea, dude.
Yeah, he's awesome.
Him and Marlow.
joe rogan
It's hard staying thin, isn't it?
Especially now you're in the 180s.
He could let it go.
He could let it go.
tom segura
I could let it go.
unidentified
Oh, yeah, look at you.
Look at you.
joe rogan
They got excited about letting it go.
unidentified
Yeah, let it go.
tom segura
I own a bakery.
joe rogan
Yeah, just fucking not text your trainer back.
tom segura
Fuck you.
joe rogan
Fuck you.
tom segura
And when I stop by there, too, you know, it's like I have access to all of this.
joe rogan
Yeah, you could eat free.
tom segura
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
You can do whatever you want.
tom segura
You can have them make you things.
I give most.
I take a bite of things and I'm like, that's delicious.
And then I stop myself.
I'll let myself have a full thing, but not every day, dude.
Not even every few days, like once a week, maybe.
joe rogan
When I used to come home from the store, two things were a problem.
One of them was Jerry's Famous Deli.
I would go to, remember Jerry's Famous Deli?
They're gone now.
Isn't that amazing?
tom segura
Jerry's deli's gone?
joe rogan
Jerry's deli's gone.
There was one in Woodland Hills, that's gone.
That was the one I used to go to all the time.
I think they're all gone now.
I don't know if any of them still exist.
Hopefully one still exists.
Jerry's Famous Deli was fucking great.
They had the best chicken noodle soup, man.
unidentified
It ruled.
joe rogan
And they had pastrami Rubens.
Oh, pastrami Rubens with steak fries.
They were so good.
And if I was hungry coming home from the store, that would be the spot.
The other spot that was a real problem was Krispy Kreme motherfucking donuts.
I would drive by and I'd see that hot sign on.
tom segura
Cheeseburgers, too, are a problem.
joe rogan
In-and-outs problem.
tom segura
That's a problem.
joe rogan
That's a problem.
tom segura
There was that one in West Hollywood that I used to love.
I forget the name of that place.
It was right near where I was working in post-production.
The burgers were fucking unbelievable.
joe rogan
Another problem was canters.
unidentified
Canters.
tom segura
Yeah, Canter's deli.
joe rogan
I think that place is still open.
tom segura
That was a good one.
joe rogan
24 hours a day.
tom segura
That was post-show fun.
joe rogan
Always.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Great post-show fun.
tom segura
I told you this before, because you know the power of delusion is strong.
Is that when I would tour with you, this is like, I would say like 2009, 10, Delta Terminal used to be Terminal 5 at LAX.
Sometimes we would get back and we would land, because it would land in the morning, right?
We did the show the night before.
They had like a little deli bakery coffee place that had really good chocolate croissants.
joe rogan
Oh, I remember that place.
tom segura
Yeah.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
And sometimes we'd be walking by and you'd get one.
I was like, well, Joe got one.
I should get one.
Like, he's in shape.
I'm in shape.
This isn't bad.
Like, I just tell myself, like, you can eat this.
Because you'd love those.
I remember those.
joe rogan
Chocolate croissants rule.
That's why when you brought this one, I was like, oh, that's a problem.
tom segura
It's a problem.
joe rogan
But they weren't as good as that.
tom segura
No, fuck no.
joe rogan
The ones at LAX were pretty good.
You're okay.
tom segura
This is like a, it's not, no shit.
It's like a three-day process.
That's how long it takes for them to make a bachelor's.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like proofing the bread and it stays in this cabinet and they pull.
I mean, it's a whole process.
And it's, he has a, he makes like sfogliatella, which is like, it's.
joe rogan
Oh, okay, he said it that way.
tom segura
Oh, and bombologone.
You know, like, just like incredible pastries, man.
That, like, when you see them, you're just like, don't get fat.
joe rogan
Bro, it's so easy to get fat.
Getting fat's a giant problem.
tom segura
Older you get, you're just like, this could be real easy.
joe rogan
Especially if you got obligations, you got things to do, and you're tired, you're working.
tom segura
I need structure, dude.
That's what I've learned.
joe rogan
I get it.
tom segura
I need structure.
joe rogan
I need peace and quiet.
So I like to work out by myself.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
I don't, I mean, I like working out with comics sometimes.
We do those comic workouts here.
Those are really fun.
But for me, like my time working out when I'm like suffering by myself, I need that.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
I need by myself.
I don't want anybody talking to me about what they saw in the news and just asking me questions.
tom segura
Zone out.
joe rogan
You know, what's JD Vance like?
unidentified
No, Yeah.
joe rogan
I'm here to fucking get after it.
tom segura
Yeah.
I just, my problem is that I have demons.
One of my problems is when I get, and I know this from Pat, you just realize you have patterns.
Is that when I get to like a good place and relax?
Yeah.
And I do it when people are like, you look good.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
And then I go, oh, I'm done.
You know, that's that's been my pattern.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
So this time I've just been like, do not accept that thought.
Yeah.
You know?
joe rogan
Yeah, you can't.
There's no end.
tom segura
There's no end.
joe rogan
Finish line.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Doesn't exist.
Every day is a new, unique little battle with your inner bitch.
tom segura
It's really the truth.
It is the truth.
joe rogan
That's what it is.
Every day, you wake up, you go to war with your inner bitch.
That's why it's good to beat it early.
Beat that fucker down early.
tom segura
Get in the cold water.
joe rogan
Freeze your fucking dick off.
Get that fucking workout here.
Getting this on afterwards.
tom segura
And then you get like, oh, I'm good today.
Today.
joe rogan
Today.
tom segura
But the food is the bigger challenge for me.
Like, I won't say that workouts aren't hard.
They're hard.
And I like it.
I like the challenge.
Staying on top of how to eat is the bigger challenge.
joe rogan
Well, there's a problem too with all these new medical advancements.
And one of them is there's a new peptide that they're showing is essentially like exercise in an injection.
tom segura
Is that sloop?
joe rogan
I don't know what it is.
I read some article about it like quite a while ago.
And I sent it to Brigham.
I go, what is this?
And he's like, dude, there's so much stuff on the horizon, so much groundbreaking stuff.
But you're basically going to be able to get the benefits of exercise in a peptide.
So it'll trick your body to think you exercise.
tom segura
I mean, sloop does that.
unidentified
Is that what it is?
tom segura
That's one of the ones that does it.
It's in a pill form, right?
I haven't heard of that.
It's called sloop.
Yeah.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Do you taken that?
tom segura
I have taken it.
Yeah.
I don't have anything to do for you.
joe rogan
You got some on you?
tom segura
Listen, I'm like a crack addict.
If you tell me something will be good, I'll be like, cool.
I'll inject like 40 things into myself.
Yeah.
joe rogan
What does this sloop do?
tom segura
Well, they tested it on mice and found that by giving it to mice, they decreased their body fat and increased muscle, lean mass.
joe rogan
Doing nothing.
tom segura
Doing nothing.
Wow.
And so then they have started to, that's it right there.
Sloop 332.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Okay.
In obese mouse models, sloop 332 reduced fat gain by up to tenfold and compared to controls, promoted 12% body weight loss and enhanced metabolic function without altering appetite or activity levels.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's exercise.
tom segura
It's exercise, dude.
joe rogan
Exercise in a peptide.
And you took it in a pill?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And so what did it feel like when you took it?
tom segura
Nothing.
Nothing.
I felt nothing.
joe rogan
I'm getting that shit tomorrow.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
I'm on it.
Let's go.
tom segura
Let's go.
joe rogan
What happened to your pecker?
Did it get excited?
tom segura
Hell yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
24-7.
joe rogan
That's what these goddamn things do.
And you can just buy that stuff?
Or is that a prescription thing?
tom segura
I don't think it's a prescription.
No, you can just buy it.
But I think you just have to like go to a compound pharmacy or something.
That kind of place.
joe rogan
Yeah, they're trying to shut those places down.
tom segura
Are they?
FDA?
joe rogan
They want to own all that stuff.
tom segura
There you go.
joe rogan
There it is.
Bam.
Amazon.
It's all over Amazon.
All over Amazon.
jamie vernon
Good or not?
I don't know.
Just check your own sources.
joe rogan
One of the things that I've read about Amazon is that there's a lot of fake supplements on Amazon.
tom segura
Are there?
joe rogan
Yeah.
Because how does that work?
How are they even getting up on Amazon?
jamie vernon
I think they're, well, that's a whole different thing, but they're just copying the labels and stuff, making it look like it.
joe rogan
I've heard that's the problem with pure encapsulations.
I started buying their stuff from their website because I read that.
Because I read that a high percentage was fraud.
tom segura
I don't know if you've ever researched this, but apparently when I was in Abu Dhabi, they were like, they have what's considered some of like the cleanest vitamins on, like, people go there just to get vitamins in the UAE.
unidentified
Really?
tom segura
Yeah, like the really high-level vitamins for some reason.
And I don't know what the thought is on that, but like a lot of people that travel in that region go to UAE to get their vitamins.
joe rogan
That's interesting.
tom segura
I don't know if their standard is just higher.
joe rogan
Well, they have so much money.
And they also, you know, Sheikh Tok Noon is a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt.
Like a legit one.
tom segura
Bad motherfucker.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Henzo Gracie black belt.
And he's the one that created this Abu Dhabi Combat Club, the championship.
tom segura
He's also incredibly fit.
Like his cardio is out.
I was talking to someone.
joe rogan
No, he's a legit black belt.
He's a Henzo Gracie black belt.
It's like, you know, there's levels of black belts out there where you heard about a guy got a black belt from this guy.
I never heard of that guy.
I don't know who that guy is, but I'm sure it was good.
And then you hear about someone got a black belt from Henzo.
You're like, oh.
Like Guy Richie is a Henzo Gracie black belt.
tom segura
Really?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Guy Richie is super legit, man.
I know guys have rolled with him.
They're like, dude, he's legit.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Which is, it's like a Jake Paul thing.
Like, you don't think, ah, fucking Jake Paul.
You can't fight.
tom segura
What's his name?
Isn't the guy from Married with Children?
joe rogan
Ed O'Neal.
Legit Gracie Black Belt.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
He got his black belt from Hori, I think Horian or at least that school.
He got it from Gracie Torrance.
tom segura
That was a surprise one to me.
I was like, really?
joe rogan
Oh, he's legit too.
Yeah.
I sat next to him once on a plane randomly, and we spent the entire flight just talking about jiu-jitsu.
He was so excited.
tom segura
Oh, that's cool.
There he is.
joe rogan
Yes.
2007.
Yeah, Hori and Gracie.
I was right.
Two decades of training under Hori and Gracie.
Started out as another.
tom segura
42.
Wow.
joe rogan
That's another very legit black belt.
You get a black belt from Horian, like you have a real black belt.
But he's a big guy, man.
He was a football player back in the day.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
That's awesome, man.
joe rogan
Yeah, he's legit.
So we were just, like I said, we were just randomly on a plane.
And we just started talking about jiu-jitsu.
We were both like little kids.
tom segura
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
That's cool.
joe rogan
And I ran into him another time randomly in Hawaii in the ocean.
I was in the ocean.
I ran into him.
tom segura
That's cool.
joe rogan
I was like, hey, what are you doing, man?
tom segura
He's great.
I think he's a very nice guy.
joe rogan
Very nice guy, too.
Easy guy to talk to.
Like a regular person.
You know, there's certain actors, I feel like we have to get through this little wall of, are you cool?
tom segura
Yes.
joe rogan
Is this okay to talk to you?
Are you going to be mean to me?
Like, is this?
tom segura
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
It's like a thing.
And they think they get weird around comics, too, because they want to wind up in your act.
tom segura
I got so lucky doing that movie over the summer in that I had like the best actors, like as far as like just fun, awesome people.
joe rogan
Oh, that's nice.
tom segura
You know what I mean?
joe rogan
Did you know they were fun before you worked with them?
tom segura
No.
And you know what was funny is that they're regular act, like they go from like set to set to set.
joe rogan
Right.
tom segura
And they kept telling me, they were like, you know, this is like really special what's happening here.
And I'd be like, what do you mean?
They're like, this is awesome.
Everyone's having the best time every day.
Everyone's hanging out.
We're all going to dinner together.
We're hanging out on weekends.
Everyone likes each other.
It was like the best experience.
joe rogan
I think actors sometimes are so competitive with each other.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
We didn't, none of that.
People were just, and when you do have a cool vibe, like we had, everyone's just trying to make every scene better.
joe rogan
Right.
tom segura
You know, and like, you want the guy to be, like, I want him to be super funny in this because it's going to be funny in the movie.
joe rogan
Well, it's like stereotypes get created because of the worst people in whatever category you're talking about.
And if you're talking about actors, it's not all of them.
Some of them are really cool.
tom segura
Yeah, of course.
joe rogan
Like Chris Pratt, I've hung out with that guy a bunch of times.
He's really cool.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Easy to hang out with.
Giant movie star.
But like so normal.
tom segura
Right.
joe rogan
I went elk hunting with that guy.
tom segura
Really?
joe rogan
Yes.
Super cool guy to everybody.
Like easy to talk to.
We're eating dinner together, all hanging out with guys.
Fucking so normal.
unidentified
It's rare.
joe rogan
Just happens to be a famous actor.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
So normal.
But there's guys like that that you meet him and you go, oh, okay.
Like Woody Harrelson, the fucking nicest guy man.
tom segura
Woody seems awesome.
joe rogan
So easy to hang.
You can't get a hold of him.
He's got no phone.
He's got no email.
tom segura
You had, I'm just a huge fan, but I saw a clip of you had Billy Bob Thornton on.
joe rogan
Oh, he's the best.
tom segura
Dude, I can watch that guy do fucking anything.
joe rogan
The best to talk to, too.
Like, so easy to talk to.
tom segura
And the other one, I think you had him on, too, but I always see this guy in interviews.
And it's always like, I end up sharing it with everybody, is Ethan Hawk.
joe rogan
Ethan Hawk's great.
tom segura
I mean, his wisdom and like his philosophy on art and on life.
I'm like, this guy's like a messiah.
He's just like so fascinating to listen to.
joe rogan
Well, he's a real artist.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Really loves.
Like, I asked him this question because I've always wanted to know, like, is this the same thing as being in the zone and other things?
Like, what happens when you're doing a scene?
Why is it so believable?
I know you're Ethan Hawk.
I know that's Denzel Washington.
I know that you guys are acting, but yet I'm in.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
I'm in.
Like, what is that?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And he talked about that.
It is like what it is with stand-up.
It's like a hypnosis.
It's like they're hypnotizing.
They're so locked in and they believe so much what they're saying that you believe it too.
tom segura
Right.
It's truth.
It's that the scene reads as true.
You're not making, you know, there's times when you're watching something and you're like, I don't buy that.
And that's why you step out.
Right.
You step out because you're like, that's not.
joe rogan
It's performative.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
You realize that someone is performing rather than being like really locked into it, whatever it is.
tom segura
Somebody said one time, and I totally agree.
It's like one of the reasons why we revere Denzel so much is like every time he's on screen, you believe every choice that he makes.
unidentified
Yes.
tom segura
You know, you're just like, I believe this.
joe rogan
Yeah, there's only a few people like that.
You know, Claire Daines is definitely one of them.
tom segura
She's fantastic.
joe rogan
So good, dude.
I mean, I don't want to give away any parts of it, but there's this one part where she finds something out and her fucking whole face starts shaking.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
I was like, how are you even doing that?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
She starts breathing heavy.
Nothing freaks me out more than someone that finds out something crazy and doesn't have like a physical reaction to it.
Because anybody that's ever had anything crazy happen to them, your heart starts racing.
You can't breathe.
And some people just don't nail that.
But she nailed it so hard.
I felt like she really believed it.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know, and I believe, I'm like, oh my God.
tom segura
Yeah, you start freaking out too.
joe rogan
That scene was so good that as I was watching, I was like, damn, she's good.
That's why I was thinking during the scene, I was like, damn, she's good.
tom segura
You have to call me when you finish this.
I will.
It's so good.
joe rogan
She ruled in Homeland, too.
She was great in that, too.
tom segura
Yeah.
She's really a tremendous actress.
joe rogan
Do you ever see the conversation she had?
unidentified
She had a conversation with fucking, what's his name?
joe rogan
The vaccine dancer guy, Colbert.
And like, she was talking about the CIA being involved in all sorts of different things.
And see if you can find it because he like changes the subject immediately.
tom segura
Really?
unidentified
Yeah, because she's like saying wild shit about the CIA.
joe rogan
Well, the CIA being involved in, I forget exactly the context of what she was saying.
Something, here it is.
claire danes
Spike camp for us producers and writers.
joe rogan
Really?
claire danes
Yeah.
Is it like, yeah, so we park ourselves in a club in Georgetown and talk to like real spooks and you know people in the intelligence community and the State Department and journalists and people who really what do they tell you?
unidentified
That like what's the most surprising thing that they've told you about their jobs or something you wouldn't need to know for?
claire danes
Well, every year it's different.
Right, we've been at it for a while and and the climate has been has changed, but this year it was all about, you know, the distrust between the administration and and the intelligence world and um, and the intelligence community was suddenly kind of allying itself with journalists, which usually they're live shooting.
joe rogan
This episode, how long you start doing this show like the intelligence community aligns itself with journalists to try to get rid of the president.
tom segura
I had one time this is not the same thing, but I had a I know somebody who was very high up, i'll just say, in the intelligence community and is older now and I have a relationship with them and I was talking.
Sometimes we would talk through it was through you know, my parents that that knew these people and I was.
I would love to talk to this person because they were so not just well-informed intelligent, like fun to have a conversation with.
And I was on the phone with them and as I asked the question they go not on the phone.
And I and I I kind of was like repeating myself, I go, they go not on the phone.
I was like oh, like it's just.
It was one of those moments where I felt I was like oh okay, I was like yeah, i'll see you later.
unidentified
Sorry, I got so scared like I felt like I violated.
joe rogan
I'm sure every phone call they make is being recorded.
Yeah yeah, especially if you have inside information about something very important.
You're supposed to stay secret about it.
Yeah, and you start blabbing.
That's hanging out in Scottsdale doing blow.
Yeah, talking about what's, new in Syria oh yeah yeah, you wind up getting whacked by some crazy person that kills himself, car accident or something.
Yeah, something happens.
Yeah, you know about this Mit fusion guy that got assassinated.
Supposedly the same guy who assassinated the Mit fusion guy also went to Brown University and shot people at Brown and then killed himself.
Really yeah, and a lot of people are like what?
This guy was working on?
Groundbreaking energy.
He was working on fusion at MIT and he was also talking about the poles, the earth's poles shifting, and that this is a natural process that happens, that we have to do to keep our magnetosphere that protects us from the fucking rays of space.
tom segura
What is our world, dude?
What is happening?
joe rogan
There's a lot of people that get killed because they are inventing things that are going to disrupt industries.
tom segura
That's what I believe and this is why we scroll tick six hours on tick tock, just like I don't want to.
joe rogan
Yeah, you don't want to know, you don't want certain things you don't want to know.
And Kurt Metzger texts me all of them, really texts me, all of them, everything that I don't want to know, that it shows up.
I'm like fuck, or Dylan Tim Dylan texts me all and I text it to them too if I find something out, because there's just so much nutty in the world where you're like what is going on, like people getting whacked and oh Yeah, it can overwhelm you.
tom segura
It can overwhelm you.
Yeah.
joe rogan
And I know so many people that are like legitimately mentally ill because they dwell on that stuff all day long.
tom segura
Which is why we need the escape.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You need something.
And you also should limit your amount of time that you're exposed to all that psychotic behavior because it starts shaping the way you view people.
If you interact with people more on social media than you do in real life, it can really fuck your head up.
tom segura
So many people do that.
joe rogan
A lot of people.
tom segura
A lot of people do that.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Especially, and that was one of the real problems during COVID, too.
So people were isolated.
And that was the only way they were interacting with each other.
tom segura
The fucked up thing is you realize how much those people end up losing that connection with other, like, real people.
They think that this is real life.
This is the real world.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
They live in the comment section.
joe rogan
It's crazy.
It's just such a like, it's like eating food that has no nutrients in it and your body's just freaking out.
Like, where the fuck are the vitamins?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
There's no vitamins in it.
It's just nonsense.
And it's also, I was like, what percentage of it is even real people?
It's not 100.
There's a bunch of it.
It's just like bad actors from other countries and people with fucking flags in their bios and who knows what is going on.
And it's all just to try to shape narratives.
We're involved in it.
Russia's involved.
China's involved.
Corporations are involved.
There's like entire companies that are based around crowd campaigns about organizing attacks on individuals, organizing narrative control or organizing, pushing a certain narrative.
Entire businesses are built on that, where they try to shape things and make things go viral.
Yeah, it's nuts.
There's, oh my God, there's so much complete new part of our society that didn't exist before.
And it shapes the way we view the world and it's being purposely manipulated by people.
And it's legal because safeguards haven't put into place.
tom segura
And also the amount of times that people are talking to bots and like losing themselves.
I don't mean like a scam.
I mean like fucking interacting just like with you're interacting with a computer right now.
joe rogan
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
All the time.
I started getting these weird WhatsApp group texts of investors, people investing in things and how much money they're making.
This is incredible.
Sign me up.
And like all these random fake people will be in the little group chat talking about how, oh, I can't wait to get involved in this.
You know, I'm going to go all in on this.
And then trying to get you to go, oh, I should go all in.
tom segura
I want to go all in too.
unidentified
I should give you my bank account.
joe rogan
Can I wire some money to you?
tom segura
Fuck, man.
joe rogan
And so many dumbasses get sucked into things like that.
tom segura
The best, though, is when it happens to like somebody will be like, I sent 80 grand of Brad Pitt.
And you're like, what?
They're like, Brad Pitt was like messaging me, and it's just like some 60-year-old lady.
And she was like, it was, you know, it just felt so real.
And it's like, it's, it's like a deep fake.
He's like, hi, Amanda.
How is how are you today, my love?
If you could just send me $30,000 to get out of this.
And then she's like, and I did it.
I feel like an idiot.
And you're like, yeah.
You fucking thought Brad Pitt needed 30 grand?
joe rogan
Well, here's the thing.
If you've got a scam, like there's certain scams we allow, right?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, here's one: Televangelists.
We allow that scam.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because if you're so dumb that you think Robert Tilden has got a red line direct line to Jesus, you know, you all ride a chick to me.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
He's going to win.
tom segura
He bought like a G4.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They all do.
They all do.
This is the one crazy guy that was pointing at the reporter with the devil.
tom segura
That's the one.
joe rogan
No, that's not Robert Tilden.
tom segura
No, but that's the guy who bought that guy.
Because she was asking him about that.
joe rogan
Tyler Perry gave me such a deal.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Well, he's just like, I had to take this plane.
tom segura
Oh, my God.
joe rogan
That guy looks correct.
That guy's crazy.
Yeah, he looks scary.
But that scam we allow.
You know, we allow certain scams.
tom segura
Yeah, we let that work.
joe rogan
Like, if you're so dumb that you buy into that, like, that's not even illegal.
tom segura
I do feel so, so bad, though, when it happens to the elderly.
I feel so terrible for them.
joe rogan
It's terrible.
That guy.
tom segura
This guy.
joe rogan
Kenneth Copeland.
tom segura
Yeah.
This guy's spectacular.
joe rogan
Dirty fingers.
Imagine that dirty finger in your asshole.
tom segura
Here's my plane, y'all.
Dirty plane.
joe rogan
Wealthy televangelist defends using private aircraft in viral exchange.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
Medea gave him a bad thing.
joe rogan
He's got to do all of his work.
He's got to do all that work.
Preacher who wants $54 million jet will donate old jet.
What a good guy.
What a sweet guy.
What's that guy?
Jesse DuPlantis.
See, like those guys, we allow that.
We allow that kind of thing.
tom segura
Which is crazy.
They should be in prison.
They're fucking scumbags.
joe rogan
Yeah, but they're getting people to voluntarily get money, which is weird.
tom segura
Then there was the guy.
joe rogan
He asked his congregation for $65 million to buy a jet.
tom segura
Do you remember the one that was like locked the doors?
And that was a whole scandal?
He's like, shut the doors.
Lock the doors.
joe rogan
Oh, for what?
tom segura
For donations.
He's like, we are not.
Oh, that's right.
unidentified
That's right.
joe rogan
We're not leaving.
tom segura
Until you shut the doors.
joe rogan
Yeah, who was that guy?
Pastor Locke's church door demands $40,000.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Ushers, close the doors.
There's a hundred.
There's a thousand of you.
Close them doors.
Ushers, close the doors.
That is so crazy.
tom segura
That's insane.
joe rogan
That's so crazy.
You just lock the doors.
tom segura
People fucking do that.
joe rogan
Well, there was a thing during the, what is it, Katrina or what was it down in Houston?
So one of the floods with that dude, the famous one.
tom segura
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
The guy that has the big arena.
Yeah.
tom segura
What's his name?
Fuck, what is his name?
joe rogan
Fuck's name, Jamie.
You know what I'm talking about.
tom segura
He's like ass in the wrong game.
Big shit-eating grin.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
Black hair.
joe rogan
Joel Osteen.
Osteen.
That guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
tom segura
He wouldn't let the homeless go in there.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, he can't go.
No, no, no.
tom segura
Like, we need places to put people.
Not in here.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
It's going to be gross.
joe rogan
People have lost their homes.
No, no, no, no.
You can't shit on my floor.
unidentified
No.
tom segura
Get out of here.
The power of Christ.
joe rogan
I think he did eventually let everybody in under pressure.
tom segura
Wow.
joe rogan
I think eventually.
tom segura
They shamed him into it.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
He realized, like, oh, yeah, I got to.
What would Jesus do?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Jesus would just hire more people to clean up.
tom segura
Jesus would get the all-new Global 7500.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Jesus would get our new Rolls-Royce.
tom segura
Unreal.
joe rogan
Yeah.
They all do it, though.
That's funny.
They all have super expensive suits.
tom segura
And tax-free, right?
This is religion.
joe rogan
That's the nuttiest part.
That's the weird part about the scam is that you're allowed to be tax-free.
tom segura
Fucking A.
joe rogan
That is weird.
tom segura
It is weird.
It's also weird when you think about what happens on the corporate level that there's these corporations that make like hundreds of billions of dollars.
And they're like, yeah, they didn't pay tax on this because they're this corporation.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Those are tax loopholes, though.
tom segura
Yeah, well, they'll funnel it to Ireland and then not pay tax on it.
joe rogan
Well, supposedly that's what Jeffrey Epstein did for people.
tom segura
Found those tax loops.
joe rogan
He helped people with tax loopholes and he helped rich people figure out how to save money.
I mean much money.
tom segura
It exists for a reason, right?
joe rogan
Well, scumbags.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
They've all put it in place.
tom segura
Power's the bigo.
I got you.
joe rogan
They just want to make sure that they keep the most amount of money possible.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
And then there's that thing where like no one should be a billionaire.
Well, okay.
Hang on.
Do you like having a fucking iPhone?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Somebody had to make that.
They're working 16 hours a day.
You don't want to be Tim Cook.
I'm not saying you know what I'm saying?
You don't want to be Steve Jobs.
Guy died young because of it.
tom segura
But I guess the argument that some people make against that is not that that guy shouldn't be wealthy.
It's that when they have this overabundance of wealth and that the people that also work there don't have like certain health coverage or something.
You're like, really?
Like these Amazon warehouse guys are like fucking dying in the warehouse?
unidentified
Are they?
tom segura
Well, I mean, they talk about these work conditions that are sometimes deplorable, right?
And then you have the people at the top with like hundreds of billions of dollars.
Like you can't trickle any of that down to like some of your workers.
That always seems like a legit complaint from people to me.
joe rogan
Oh, for sure.
Yeah.
I mean, listen, if they didn't work, you would have nothing.
tom segura
Exactly.
joe rogan
That's what's weird.
tom segura
This guy's doing like, he's making like $15 an hour.
joe rogan
But if he didn't start the company, they wouldn't have a job.
True.
But, you know, at a certain point in time, it sounds like spread it around.
tom segura
Spread it around a little bit.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Spread it around.
tom segura
Seems like.
joe rogan
It's probably better for everybody.
If you spread it around, maybe people wouldn't hate you as much.
There's always going to be people that are like, you should donate it all.
I mean, that's like the beautiful utopian.
tom segura
There is that one that did it, too.
Was it the Patagonia guy?
joe rogan
Did he?
tom segura
I think it's the Patagonia guy that became a legit billionaire and donated almost every fucking penny of it.
I think it's him.
joe rogan
You know that song, I love to change the world.
unidentified
I'd love to change the world, but I don't know what to do.
tom segura
Is that right, Jamie?
Was it him?
jamie vernon
I mean, I got typed in Patagonia.
I was first just typed in billionaire that gave donated everything, and another guy popped up.
joe rogan
There's probably a bunch of people.
tom segura
It's one of the outdoor apparel people.
It's an outdoor apparel billionaire who literally, I think, gave away like 98% of his.
Yeah.
The dude kept like.
joe rogan
Where did he give it to?
Because somebody probably took his money.
They're probably living on a yacht somewhere.
That's the problem.
tom segura
I think he gave it to a lot of land preservation type of things.
joe rogan
Good stuff.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Things that make sense.
Okay.
Well, that's smart if you're an outdoor company.
Yeah.
And that's what you love.
tom segura
But it is like that almost unbelievable, you know what I mean, level of generosity that a guy won in capitalism to that degree and was like, he probably did mushrooms one day.
joe rogan
What am I doing?
What am I doing?
I'm living in this is a prison.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
I'm imprisoned by all this money.
Yeah, maybe.
tom segura
Sam Walton was apparently like pretty down to earth too.
You know, the Walmart guy.
Yeah.
Got started.
Yeah, I mean, he drove his old pickup truck even when shit was like really popping.
I mean, he died a long time ago.
His kids don't live like that.
joe rogan
I would have yelled at him if he had an old pickup truck.
unidentified
If I was Joey Diaz, what the fuck are you doing with this old pickup truck?
joe rogan
You're bawling now, cocksucker.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Get a fucking Cadillac at least.
tom segura
Yeah, his children and grandchildren live a very different life.
joe rogan
Of course.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, they're Nepo babies.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
That's not good.
That's a tough way to live.
It is.
When Forbes named Sam Walton, America's richest man, October 28th, 1985, people were shocked to discover he lived a humble life in Bentonville, Arkansas, with a muddy bird dog running around the yard.
He was America's richest man in 1985.
They're also surprised choice of vehicles, 1979 Ford F-150.
But as Sam said, why do I drive a pickup truck?
What am I supposed to do?
Haul my dogs around in a Rolls-Royce?
tom segura
Just what he was.
Also, it's different, I think, when he made it to that level as like a regular guy.
And he was already like in his 40s or something, 50s.
It was just different for him.
He wasn't handed anything.
joe rogan
Don't forget who you are.
Don't forget who you are, cocksucker.
tom segura
Yeah, he didn't.
joe rogan
Well, some people do.
That is weird, too, right?
It's weird when people change radically.
tom segura
So radically, yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
But also that level of wealth is like not something that most people can even comprehend.
joe rogan
No, you can't comprehend billions.
He was the richest man in the world.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
He drove a pickup truck with a bunch of dogs.
Like, what are you doing with your money?
tom segura
I was watching that documentary about the murder in Monaco.
Did you watch that one?
joe rogan
No, what's that one?
tom segura
That one was about a guy who was one of the 200 wealthiest people in the world.
Safran, I think's his last name.
He was a banker.
And he lived an ostentatious life.
I mean, like out of control, humongous villas.
He had 25 security guards around him at all times.
unidentified
That was a good thing.
tom segura
And was like a target.
And he was murdered in his penthouse in Monaco.
joe rogan
What was he doing that everybody wanted him dead?
tom segura
He just had a lot of in well, one of the things is that he invested or was like one of the people that got this Russian, I don't know if it was like Russian crypto, some type of currency or stock market in Russia that collapsed when Russia devalued their currency by like 75% all of a sudden one year.
So billions of dollars disappeared from people.
And so he became like a target of the Russians, but he also had connections to a lot of governments.
When you're a high-level banker with banks everywhere, you're deeply connected to some like not-so-great people.
And so there was always like who did it.
And then his wife, who it was, I think she was, he was her fourth husband, also had two other husbands die.
One of them was like the richest guy in Brazil.
He died.
joe rogan
Oh boy.
unidentified
Oh, boy.
tom segura
And then people suspected that this guy, Safran's nurse, may have killed him.
And that's what the documentary was about.
And they interviewed him.
And like the documentary is supposed to, like, when the documentary.
joe rogan
Male nurse?
tom segura
Male nurse.
And he was convicted.
He was convicted.
And he served like 10 years.
And then he's in the documentary during the interview, right?
Like they keep interviewing him and other people.
And then it's like the documentary ends.
And then the documentary filmmaker is like, this is where the documentary was supposed to end.
But this guy who we just did this documentary about, this male nurse, as we were in post-production on this, got arrested for, he did like some forged checks shit, I think maybe in Arizona, and got locked up.
And his cellmate was like, yeah, he tried to hire me to kill his ex-wife.
So then he got put on trial for soliciting to murder his ex-wife.
And then they go and interview him again.
He's like, nah, it's all bullshit, man.
I'm telling you, it's fucking like, he's like, it's very strange.
And it's like, it's one of those things where you're like, you don't think it's the guy, and then you do think it's the guy.
joe rogan
What's it called?
tom segura
I think it's called Murder in Monaco.
joe rogan
Monaco's a crazy place.
Have you been there?
tom segura
I've never been to Monaco.
joe rogan
Never been.
tom segura
It's really wild, though.
joe rogan
It's weird.
There's so much money there.
Everywhere you look is a Rolls-Royce or a Ferrari.
What is going on here?
tom segura
Highest amount of millionaires and billionaires in the geographic square mile or whatever.
Because it's so small, actually.
joe rogan
Right.
And if you have residency there, I believe there's crazy taxes.
tom segura
You don't pay taxes.
You don't pay taxes.
And guess what?
When the husband died, the wife got her Monaco citizenship that week and then inherited the money, didn't pay any tax.
joe rogan
Wow.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
How hard is it to get a Monaco citizenship?
tom segura
I bet it's somewhat challenging.
Really?
I think so.
I don't know.
joe rogan
Got to meet the right people.
tom segura
I would assume.
I mean, I know, like, for instance, you know, where it's like impossible and there's great benefits to it is UAE.
They don't give that shit to anybody.
joe rogan
Oh, really?
tom segura
Yeah, you got to be from there.
joe rogan
And that's the same kind of benefits, right?
tom segura
Yes, massive, massive benefits of being a – there's even a thing if you're a UAE citizen.
Like if we have the same job and you're a non-citizen and I am a citizen, I get double your salary.
unidentified
Wow.
tom segura
Just from being from UAE.
Things like that.
Yeah.
Government will also pay for your housing, give you a car, pay for your education.
Yeah.
But they have a small, one of the reasons they have extreme wealth, but they also don't have a high population of native citizens.
unidentified
Right.
tom segura
So they're able to do things like that also.
joe rogan
And they have insane oil money.
tom segura
Insane.
Especially in Abu Dhabi.
joe rogan
Well, that's when people talk about like the richest man in the world.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
They're like, okay, publicly.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
But those guys don't have to tell you how much money they have.
tom segura
There's also a big difference between being extremely wealthy holding stock and extremely wealthy holding cash.
That's a real big difference.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Well, that's why it's wild what these guys are doing with like the Saudi Arabians are doing with boxing.
Because they're just going, what fight, what do you guys want to see?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Okay.
Let me call that guy.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
We'll give you $100 million.
Like, what?
tom segura
Yeah.
And then they're like, that ain't shit.
That's fine.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
That Saudi entertainment fund is the government's fund.
joe rogan
What was it like doing that Riyadh Festival?
tom segura
Fantastic.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
It was fantastic.
I mean, the people there were amazing.
Like, you know, there's always like you look at things on the news and you have your preconceived notion of like what things are.
joe rogan
Right.
tom segura
But when you're on the ground somewhere and you're with people, you know, I was just meeting wonderful people.
We went to the, they had the comedy club there.
We went to the club.
Like not what we were brought there to do.
Like they have like comedy pod, I think it's called.
And it was just like, I mean, it was just Saudi, like local people.
And the crowd was just citizens.
And they were all just so warm and welcoming.
And they were such huge admirers of ours of like American comedy and American podcasts.
And they were just super sweet.
Like they were so genuine.
joe rogan
And what is the restrictions in terms of like language and subject matter?
tom segura
So everybody was highly, highly, highly well versed in not just English, but like American pop culture.
So everything we talked about, they got everything.
You know, they got everything.
I mean, I went one the night before I went to see Jimmy Carr and Louie perform.
And like I was, I was like, holy shit, they get like even like the little throwaway lines, you know, like the things that aren't even like the bit, like the little jokes.
The only restriction that we were, that we had was about Islam and the royals.
That was it.
Which wasn't really a hard thing for most people to adhere to because like, you know, like me and those guys, like we didn't have Islam or royal jokes.
We weren't cutting anything from our acts.
Right.
So I was like, yeah.
By the way, when we did UAE, you know, like Dubai and Abu Dhabi, they were like, do not talk about same, same thing.
Don't talk about our royals.
Don't talk about Islam.
Don't be like super graphic about.
But then we did do graphic stuff and they're like, yeah, that's fine.
They're like, just take it easy on the royals and on Islam.
So I was like, yeah, that's not a challenge for me.
But the country, like as far as the people that we met, they were all fantastic.
They were really sweet people.
joe rogan
It's just, people have a weirdness of like you're going over there because it's the Saudi royal family has the money.
tom segura
The Saudi family is the family that funds the entertainment fund.
And then people were like, they would accuse me of whataboutism for saying that that's the same fund that paid for Ed Sheeran to come and Beyonce to come to do their shows.
I'm like, but how that's just facts.
Like, it's not whataboutism.
It's like, that's the money that funds entertainment.
joe rogan
Right.
tom segura
And then some people will go, well, you should do it if the money came from like, let's say, a promoter.
But you're like, yeah, but that doesn't exist yet.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, this is the system that's in place.
Now, maybe in like- So who accused you of whataboutism?
Just- Just people were so vocally upset that we went.
Yeah.
And I was like, I mean, first of all, the way that I went was that I was doing Dubai.
I was booked to do Dubai, which is in UAE.
It was already announced.
And then three months later, I got a call and they're like, hey, do you want to do Riyadh?
It's like a 90-minute flight.
I'm like, I'm in the fucking Middle East.
Yeah, I'll add a show.
I'm there.
It's like routing.
joe rogan
Did you know it was a festival?
tom segura
I knew it was a festival.
And then they told me the lineup.
And the lineup was bananas.
It was like Kevin Hart, Bill Burr, Dave Chappelle.
I was like, oh.
I was like, that sounds like a great lineup.
I didn't think really like that I was doing something that would upset.
I had no idea.
I had no idea.
joe rogan
You didn't think it would be something that people would get offended by.
I mean, the people that were most offended were the comics that weren't invited.
tom segura
Yeah.
I know.
There's a lot of them that was.
joe rogan
There was a lot of them.
tom segura
A lot of them were super vocal.
And I'm like, you can't sell a ticket in Houston.
I don't know why you're upset about Riyadh.
No one's going to see you anyway.
It was a bunch of 50-year-old feature acts that were upset.
And then we went over there, had a great time.
And I actually think that one of the things that was overlooked is the fact that we were all saying they're like, oh, you had to adhere to all.
I was like, dude, I told you the two restrictions, which we had didn't affect my act.
And I do think it's a sign of their progress that they put on this festival and that we were saying all kinds of wild shit, like the shit that we say on stage, without talk.
We didn't talk about Islam.
I mean, that wasn't a crazy thing to me.
Like, I think that that's showing, because what's happening actually there is that right now the entertainment hub of the Middle East is Dubai.
That is the entertainment hub of the Middle East.
That's where people go.
That's their Vegas.
Big shows, spectacles, all types of shit.
Saudi Arabia is like, no, we want to be the hub.
And they have super deep pockets.
And so they're trying to be the, to compete with Dubai in entertainment.
That's what the fuel of this is.
And putting on this festival, to me, felt like that's a path towards their goal of like entertainment can be here.
And they put on a great festival, treated us fantastic.
You know, people get, I don't mind if people are like, you can be mad.
Be mad about whatever you want.
I don't care.
But as an experience, it was an amazing experience.
And I do think that they'll continue to put on these festivals.
It'll be very interesting to watch as this festival continues who goes, who gets invited and goes, who was against it at the beginning.
Because you know it's going to be a few people.
And I have some screenshots that I've seen.
So we'll see who goes.
joe rogan
Maybe, perhaps.
It's interesting.
It's interesting that comics are held to a higher standard than singers or other people that perform over there.
tom segura
Yeah, I mean.
joe rogan
It is weird, though, you know, because it's like comedy uniquely challenges the idea of free speech.
tom segura
Yeah.
Sure.
Yeah, that makes sense.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
Yeah.
But I mean.
joe rogan
Because it's not like if someone says don't sing any songs about Islam, you're like, well, I don't have any songs.
tom segura
But I have to say that also, like, some of these comics who are saying this, like, oh, you know, you don't have free speech and you adhered to these restrictions.
It's like, have you ever done a private?
Have you ever done a university?
I have.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
They had restrictions.
joe rogan
Yeah.
tom segura
You know, they were like, don't talk about our mascot.
Don't talk about this.
Don't talk about that.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
And specifically, if you don't have that in your act already, then the question is, should you be working for those people because of what happened with Jamal Khashoggi?
That's everyone's big argument.
I think Dave had the best line about that.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's like Israel killed 240 journalists last month.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know, like, what are you talking about?
I mean, the last three months.
tom segura
It's a fair point.
joe rogan
It is a fair point.
Yeah.
It's just different, right?
Like one guy was sought up in an embassy.
Yeah, in a way in suitcases.
unidentified
Not good.
tom segura
It's awful.
It's horrific what happened.
But also, I mean, if you want to go down that line of that article.
joe rogan
Then you shouldn't be working in America either.
tom segura
I mean, that's like, are we saying that only their awful thing is worth their funding it, right?
joe rogan
As opposed to, like, if you work in America, it's not, the CIA doesn't fund a comedy show.
tom segura
Sure, sure.
joe rogan
You know what I mean?
tom segura
Okay, well, I mean, there's a lot of ways to look at it.
And if it really upsets you, my position is good.
joe rogan
Well, the other thing.
tom segura
Let it upset you.
joe rogan
Yeah, let it upset you.
The other thing that, like, culturally, it is a good thing to bring great comics over to Saudi Arabia.
tom segura
I think so.
joe rogan
It's good for people to hear what Jimmy Carr and you and Louie and Bill and all these comics have to say and Dave.
It's a good thing for the culture.
Like, it's a good thing for humans.
It's a good thing to open up society.
And it seems like outside of this whole Jamal Khashoggi thing, which again is indefensible, right?
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
Outside of that, this is a more progressive organization.
Like, they are letting women drive now.
They're like, slowly, this is coming into a more modern story.
tom segura
It is progress.
It is a sign of progress.
Whether people accept that or not, it is a sign of progress there.
joe rogan
Yeah, it doesn't help the people there if you never interact with them ever again because of something their government did.
tom segura
Exactly.
And I have to tell you, if you saw the faces of these people that we were performing for, and the, I mean, when you could, because sometimes they're like this.
But how genuinely thankful and excited they were to be at these shows.
It was awesome.
joe rogan
If you live in Saudi Arabia, you never would imagine you'd see a lineup like that.
tom segura
Oh, my God.
I mean, some of the guys, they were telling us.
They were like, dude, like 10 years ago, they're like, nothing like this could have ever, ever happened here.
So I don't know how you don't see that as some type of progress.
joe rogan
What's up, Jamie?
jamie vernon
I've just stumbled across something insane.
What?
This is on the justice websites.
Justice.com.
Justice.
joe rogan
Jamie's scrolling through the film.
jamie vernon
I don't know how it's going to be.
No, I just saw a tweet and clicked the link.
joe rogan
What is this?
jamie vernon
Corner of the screen says Jay Epstein.
joe rogan
Jeffrey Epstein killed himself?
tom segura
What?
jamie vernon
That's the date?
joe rogan
So what is he doing here?
jamie vernon
I don't know.
It's a 12-second video that someone found on their website.
joe rogan
You see that again?
jamie vernon
Put that up?
joe rogan
Can you pause it and make it larger?
So is he hanging himself there?
jamie vernon
Is that what this is?
tom segura
It looks like he's leaning on it.
jamie vernon
Not showing it on the screen because I don't even remember this.
But I don't even know if that's like what is.
It looks like plain white hair.
I don't know if it was, you know.
joe rogan
Well, he definitely had white hair.
But like, what's the date?
Is that him with a thing wrapped around his neck and he's trying to kill himself?
unidentified
I don't.
joe rogan
That's, I'm always supposed to.
So one thing that's important was he had a previous suicide attempt, supposedly.
tom segura
When he was locked up.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
I mean, that was one of the reasons why he was under like 24-hour supervision.
That's the case, right?
Didn't he have a previous suicide attempt?
jamie vernon
I don't even know how someone found this.
joe rogan
That's crazy.
tom segura
That's on the government website?
joe rogan
But you imagine that they've had this footage the whole time.
Is that real?
jamie vernon
I'm sure you all found it.
joe rogan
Yeah, but you know what I'm saying?
It's like, who knows what's real?
I watched a cruise ship hit a bridge and the bridge fell apart and everybody died.
It's fake.
tom segura
It's fake?
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
For like a half of a second, though, I was like, oh, like, oh, my God, I thought it happened today.
tom segura
Like, yeah.
joe rogan
New tragedy.
tom segura
And then I'm like, wait, how much better are they going to get at that?
joe rogan
Oh, it's going to be impossible to tell.
It's so much better than it was just a couple of years ago.
jamie vernon
Someone guessed the URL of the files that were uploaded to DOJ's website that were not announced yet and found the video.
tom segura
Holy fuck.
jamie vernon
Okay.
And then they corrected it and said it's 100% fake.
unidentified
Oh, but it's on that website still, which is on the Justice Department.
jamie vernon
I guess it means there's fake shit on the website.
joe rogan
Oh boy, this video is 100% fake with the Visual Deed released by the DOJ.
It seems it's a collection of files collected by investigators, and this fake video originated on 4chan.
tom segura
So, even there, guys.
joe rogan
4chan strikes again.
tom segura
Wow.
joe rogan
Yeah, man.
It's going to be impossible to know in the future.
There's no way to tell.
tom segura
There's no way.
There's no way.
joe rogan
Real fucking weird.
tom segura
Because already with the voice stuff, it's crazy.
Like, I can listen to something your voice, and I'll be like, and then find out that it's fake.
joe rogan
They can alter it to make you excited, make you a little sad here.
tom segura
And in your case, in my case, there's just thousands of hours of us speaking.
So it's even easier.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
And that won't even matter in the future.
It's like with the newer technology, they'll be able to manipulate it.
And it's going to get way better.
tom segura
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's what's, I mean, what does that even mean?
tom segura
What does it mean?
joe rogan
Tom Segura, tell everybody once again, guys, pause some comedy special.
tom segura
It's called Teacher.
It's on Netflix.
When does this come out?
joe rogan
If you're in the hypnot.
jamie vernon
Sorry, I didn't mean to play a soundboard.
This will be out tomorrow.
tom segura
Oh, great.
unidentified
Yeah.
tom segura
So it's just Christmas tomorrow.
It comes out Christmas Eve.
Christmas Eve on Netflix.
It's called Teacher.
I'm very excited about it.
I thank you so much for watching it over this holiday break.
joe rogan
I toured time to release.
tom segura
I toured for two years to get ready for this one.
I'm very happy with it.
So I hope you enjoy it.
joe rogan
Well, if it's any of the stuff that I've been watching, it's going to be awesome.
tom segura
Thanks, brother.
I'm killing it.
Thank you so much.
Thanks for having me.
joe rogan
Beautiful to see.
tom segura
I'm excited.
joe rogan
I'm happy.
unidentified
All right.
joe rogan
That's it.
Bye, everybody.
Merry Christmas.
unidentified
Merry Christmas.
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