Jan. 12, 2024 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:40:16
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
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unidentified
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the joe rogan experience train by day joe rogan podcast by night all day speaking of cold new york how about these fucking jewish folks What, the tunnel they were making under? | |
| Well, I'm reading about that. | ||
| I don't even know what it means. | ||
| Why would they hire people to dig a hole? | ||
| I don't know exactly what's happening. | ||
| All I know is very short clips that I found on the internet. | ||
| But the funniest thing is this one guy on Twitter that was saying a while back, I live on a ground floor apartment and I hear Jews underneath me. | ||
| It's like, you're out of your fucking mind. | ||
| Yeah, that's anti-Semitic. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And now he's like, I told you I wasn't crazy! | ||
| But this guy's just doing a cute match. | ||
| But what are they doing? | ||
| I heard that they hired people to build this tunnel, and they were hanging out, and the people would live there for three weeks, these migrant workers, were just digging this tunnel, and they stayed there for three weeks. | ||
| But what's the purpose of it? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| I don't know anything. | ||
| I just know that there's tunnels and that there's this one video of this guy coming out of the sewer, so he lifts a manhole cover, comes out of the sewer, and then he's fucking wandering around, this Hasidic Jewish guy, and everybody's like, what the fuck are you doing down there? | ||
| Yeah, that's really bizarre. | ||
| They wouldn't come out, too. | ||
| The cops had to get them out. | ||
| They were like, we don't want to come out, and they were charged with disorderly conduct. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| The whole fucking world is just weird. | ||
| What do you know about this, Jamie? | ||
| Anything? | ||
| I haven't heard anything. | ||
| The best I've gotten is that they started making them during COVID, but that, like, it makes sense, but you see the tunnels, you're like, no way, that's not, you didn't do that in two years or a year or six months or whatever it was. | ||
| They weren't exactly nice tunnels either. | ||
| They were just kind of shitty, rudimentary, basic holes. | ||
| Like, were they doomsdayers? | ||
| They thought the world was going to end? | ||
| Wait a minute, the tunnels are so big that you don't think they could make them in two years? | ||
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
| Some of them look big. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I mean, some of them are saying they go into multiple different buildings. | ||
| It's like a series of tunnels. | ||
| It's not just a tunnel. | ||
| Well, let's look into this. | ||
| They're still looking into it. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
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When did it discover it? | |
| Was it yesterday? | ||
| It's only been discovered a couple years ago. | ||
| I forget how... | ||
| A couple years ago? | ||
| Days ago. | ||
| Days ago. | ||
| I forget even how they discovered it. | ||
| I think they were looking... | ||
| It's probably that guy complaining. | ||
| He probably heard something and then maybe they saw somebody come out of the manhole cover and somebody put two and two together. | ||
| I have no idea what happened. | ||
| Yeah, it's strange. | ||
| But it's very bizarre. | ||
| And then, of course, there's conspiracy theories and what are they doing down there and evil theories. | ||
| They immediately want to pour concrete in it, which makes sense because it's probably not safe. | ||
| It's not supporting the weight of all the buildings above it. | ||
| Yeah, you don't think of that when you move into an apartment building that some asshole might build a tunnel underneath and collapse the fucking, collapse the building on you. | ||
| Imagine if you're on the ground floor and you're like, why is my floor house so much? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| These assholes are building a sinkhole under my house. | ||
| Yeah, I don't, uh, but it's funny how like things are so crazy like you read about something like that and it doesn't even stand out that much Like we talk about it now and then tomorrow be some other weird shit, right? | ||
| Like every day. | ||
| It's something weird. | ||
| It's something crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's way more than ever before. | ||
| Yeah, we got we got Jamie Happened on Monday afternoon, I guess, so it's very new. | ||
| Something about tunneling. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| It's just so crazy. | ||
| Yeah, that's such a commitment. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Isn't it interesting, like, you build on top of a building, it's no big deal. | ||
| But you go under the building, like, what are you doing? | ||
| Yeah, you're really destabilizing that thing. | ||
|
unidentified
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You're in a tunnel. | |
| For several hours, police pleaded with the young men to leave the entrance to the tunnel, according to the witnesses. | ||
| After they refused, the officers covered the area with a wire curtain and entered the dusty crevasse with zip ties to detain the protesters. | ||
| When they took the first person out with zip ties, that's when the outburst happened. | ||
| Baruch Dahan, a 21-year-old study of the synagogue who videotaped the congregants fighting. | ||
| Almost everyone was against what they did, but as soon as people saw the handcuffs, there was confusion and pushing. | ||
| Footage posted to social media shows scores of onlookers, mostly young men, jeering at the NYPD's community affairs officers. | ||
| Some lifted wooden desks into the air, sending prayer books scattering. | ||
| In response, the officer appeared to deploy an irritating spray to disperse the group. | ||
| So how did they find out about this? | ||
| I don't know, but even after hearing that, I still know nothing about what they were doing or why. | ||
| I think they're just starting to try to figure it out. | ||
| So scroll down a little. | ||
| It didn't have a good explanation on what the initial call was for it. | ||
| I was going to switch to a different article. | ||
| And why are they being called protesters? | ||
| What were they protesting? | ||
| If you're just sitting in a tunnel, is that actually a protest? | ||
| Everyone's a protester and everyone's an activist. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Officials and locals said young men in the community recently built the passage to the sanctuary in secret. | ||
| When the group's leaders tried to seal it off on Monday, they staged a protest that turned violent as police moved in to make arrests. | ||
|
unidentified
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How long does it take to make a tunnel? | |
| I'm assuming a couple years if it went that far. | ||
| It all depends entirely on what's down there already. | ||
| Were they putting dirt in their pockets like fucking Shawshank? | ||
| That's what they said they were doing. | ||
| They had like dirt in their pockets. | ||
| I saw that as a joke. | ||
|
unidentified
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I don't know if it was real. | |
| Oh boy. | ||
| What an asshole endeavor. | ||
| What a rough time for the Jews. | ||
| It is, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, this doesn't... | ||
| They're getting it from all angles. | ||
| They really are. | ||
| And then this on top of that? | ||
| And it's like the whole planet just hates each other. | ||
| Everybody fucking hates each other. | ||
| It's weird, right? | ||
| It is... | ||
| I don't even think it's about the issues. | ||
| I don't think people are necessarily... | ||
| People believe what they believe, but I think it's more the addiction to arguing and the addiction to being angry. | ||
| Like, no matter what the subject, people just hate each other. | ||
| If someone gives the wrong answer, the people who think it's the wrong answer hate your guts. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of that going on. | ||
| I think there's a lot of, like, very heavy stress in the world, and people are relieving that stress through these sort of endeavors. | ||
| I don't think it's logical. | ||
| No, it's not logical and it's almost like people don't want the answer that's going to make sense. | ||
| They want the answer that's going to enable them to get angry. | ||
| It really is like when people try to go after somebody for jokes or whatever, it's self-serving. | ||
| It's like if I hear what you say, it's either going to make me feel better about my position or it's going to get me high because I'm angry at you. | ||
| But it's always self-serving. | ||
| The whole thing is insincere. | ||
| Well, it's all very exaggerated by social media. | ||
| Social media has made everybody way more insane. | ||
| And it's not going to get any better. | ||
| It's only going to get worse because all this AI shit. | ||
| It's very strange. | ||
| It's a very, very strange time to be alive. | ||
| Did you see the AI? There is an AI, like they have these AI women on Instagram. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And like we were talking about it on the air and we were laughing about it. | ||
| And even though I know it's AI, I'm like, I could still see myself jerking off to this. | ||
| I know it's not real. | ||
| I know it's fake. | ||
| But if the attitude was right, I could still see myself being turned on by this AI. The hair fucks it up a little bit because it kind of looks solid. | ||
| Like, the hair sometimes moves as one unit, but the body and the face, I mean, it really looks like a real person. | ||
| Well, they're making money. | ||
| They're making money off of OnlyFans. | ||
| Tens of thousand dollars a week. | ||
| Isn't that awesome? | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Isn't that great? | ||
| Well, there's probably some fucking dude in Moldovia or somewhere like that running it. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's always some guy overseas where you can't get it shut down. | ||
| You can't get any answers. | ||
| Yeah, and then there's some fucking jerk-off. | ||
| In New York City, on the east side. | ||
| With this fucking tomato-stained wife beater on, sending money and whacking off, and then interacting with these people. | ||
| See, if you're not tech-savvy and you don't understand... | ||
| That this is probably a man on the other end, or not even a man, maybe a computer that's running an algorithm. | ||
| And you think you're actually interacting with a woman. | ||
| You can get completely hooked. | ||
| I've argued with bots before, and that's like my big insult, is like, you're a fucking bot! | ||
| And that's all you can say when you know that you've been duped by a computer. | ||
| Whether it's customer service and you think you're talking to a real person, you're like, this is a fucking computer. | ||
| This is a real person, but... | ||
| That's a real person? | ||
| Yeah, she made $57 million since COVID. Oh my god. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Like, how would you, like, if you married that girl, how would you tell her to get a regular job? | ||
| I wouldn't. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| I'd be happy she did it, yeah. | ||
| But if you were, like, a guy who wasn't into that, wow, that's insane. | ||
| If you're a guy who marries her and you think you're going to rescue her and pull her out of there and she's making $57 million, you have to just accept that's her job. | ||
| Half of it's from the messages part, which that's what you were just sort of saying, like, probably not her messaging. | ||
| Right. | ||
| $27 million worth of messages. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. | ||
| $27 million in money has been sent by guys? | ||
| Well, that's... | ||
| Just sending it her directly as a message. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| 10 million in just tips. | ||
| That's on top of... | ||
| Thank you for doing what I'm already paying you for. | ||
| How much is her monthly subscription? | ||
| We could look at her page. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| What is she doing on there? | ||
| I mean, her main thing is she came over from Twitch. | ||
| She's a cosplayer, so she dresses up like all the characters online. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That can be sexy. | ||
| She's very popular. | ||
| That can be a little sexy, somebody kind of dressed. | ||
| They ever go to Comic-Con, once in a while, there's a lot of big fat fucks, but there's also a couple that are like, that's attractive, I like that. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| Little superhero. | ||
| Yeah, and then they're kind of weird and quirky, so they're more approachable. | ||
| Yeah, they seem more approachable, yeah. | ||
| But then you get girls like this who are probably just as unapproachable as any other attractive woman I've ever tried to talk to in a club. | ||
| Maybe, but really hot nerds are always probably the most attractive thing. | ||
| Yes, but they play nerds. | ||
| They have nerdy interests, but there's nothing worse to me than a comic who pretends he's the shy guy, but he's really a good-looking dude. | ||
| You're confident, and you know you're good-looking, but you're playing the shy guy who's awkward with girls. | ||
| Just putting it on on stage. | ||
| You're putting it on. | ||
| It's not who you are. | ||
| Like Dan Natterman. | ||
| You know Dan Natterman. | ||
| He's hilarious. | ||
| He is an awkward guy. | ||
| Natterman's a truly awkward guy. | ||
| And I say that with love because he's brilliantly funny. | ||
| But we see these good-looking guys who are comfortable with women pretending funny. | ||
| Pretending quirky and awkward. | ||
| It just annoys me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, anything disingenuous. | ||
| People sniff it out. | ||
| They sniff it out. | ||
| You know, that's one of the things Brian Simpson said about you last night. | ||
| He goes, I never met anybody so comfortable being weird. | ||
| That's nice. | ||
|
unidentified
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He told me more personal shit in the first five minutes. | |
| And he goes, he just lays it all out there. | ||
| Well, Christine was asking us questions about being married and about Nikki, and I was like, I'm very comfortable with it, and it's like, it's almost like on stage, if you're okay with it, people are okay with it. | ||
| Yeah, well, I've always used you as an example. | ||
| When, you know, way, way back in the day, you were doing this before anybody was. | ||
| You were doing this on ONA fucking, what was it, 15 years ago? | ||
| 17 years ago? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You just talk... | ||
| Openly about all your quirks and whatever it's prostitutes or drugs or any of the things you ever did you just would spill it out there and Nobody judged you everybody loved you. | ||
| It wasn't like you know all this guy has been pissed on what a piece of shit It was like it was funny. | ||
| It was like that's Norton. | ||
| Yeah, you know what I mean? | ||
| It's like but but it's because you are who you are you and you're not pretending People don't like when people are bullshitting them. | ||
| They don't like newscasters. | ||
| They don't trust them. | ||
| When you find a newscaster with a dead guy in his fucking jacuzzi, like, oh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's never a surprise, either, because when people try to be perfect, like, for me, it's like, my imperfections is kind of what I talked about on stage. | ||
| I learned that really early on. | ||
| Like, in 1990, 91, I would do jokes, and, like, guys like Bob Levy, who I loved, and Florentine would laugh when I would kind of make fun of myself. | ||
| So it kind of tipped me, like, yeah, talking about your real life If that makes the comics laugh, there's something to that. | ||
| Like, that was kind of how I started going down that road. | ||
| And with the sexual shit, I mean, I've been sexually active since I was a kid. | ||
| Like, you know, stuff that is dark and whatever, it is what it is, so I just made fun of it. | ||
| And I talked about it. | ||
| The amount of emails I get from guys who either like trans women but don't talk about it or the guys who had sex with other boys when they were kids and don't talk about it. | ||
| And they're like, hey, it made me feel more comfortable. | ||
| That always makes me glad I talked about it. | ||
| Besides the fact that I want people to laugh. | ||
| I might have to lecture people. | ||
| I just want people to think it's funny but hopefully relate. | ||
| That's the best part about it. | ||
| You're saying all this from just a place of just pure communication. | ||
| You're just trying to get people to laugh and you're just being honest and telling your story. | ||
| And also, you're accepted by everybody. | ||
| Nobody rejects you because of this or ignores you because of this. | ||
| And it lets everybody know. | ||
| Like, maybe a lot of the stuff that you're... | ||
| Like, folks that are in the closet. | ||
| There's someone out there that's in the closet. | ||
| That fucking thing that you're carrying around with you is... | ||
| That is an insane weight. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| And I bet if you let it off... | ||
| People wouldn't care. | ||
| I don't think anybody who really loves you would care. | ||
| I don't think they would care. | ||
| Well, that's what's so bizarre. | ||
| You said to me years ago, you said, you know, whoever you date, we love you. | ||
| Like, Bob Kelly and you are two guys, I remember saying that to me years ago. | ||
| And, like, stuff like that sticks with you because you remember, like, your friends love you. | ||
| But, you know, again, our generation, am I going to be judged? | ||
| Am I going to be... | ||
| Hated. | ||
| And the amount of guys that write to me privately that don't talk about things. | ||
| Like how many people in public life do you see dating trans women? | ||
| There's a lot of them, but they just don't talk about it. | ||
| And it's like you're allowed to have privacy and your own sexuality and your own feelings. | ||
| That's all private. | ||
| But to deny that you like a group of people is bizarre to me. | ||
| Like, if you're a guy and you like black women, and you never talk about liking black women, or if you like tall guys and you don't talk about liking tall... | ||
| Why are you not acknowledging this group? | ||
| Yeah, just say what you feel. | ||
| Say what you think. | ||
| And, you know, I remember when we first started talking about... | ||
| This was when you first started dating Nikki? | ||
| We started dating, yeah, I remember that. | ||
| We started talking in 2016. I was friends with her for seven months before we met. | ||
| I actually booked gigs overseas just to meet her. | ||
| Like, Bill had been on me for years. | ||
| Dude, go to Europe! | ||
| And I just would never do it because I'm like, they're gonna fucking hate me. | ||
| You know, I just blink and I get manic. | ||
| And I finally booked Norway just to go over and meet her. | ||
| And we clicked and we dated long distance and casually for a long time. | ||
| And then we broke up, got back together in 2019 around Valentine's Day. | ||
| And then I would drive up to Canada every weekend to see her. | ||
| Every weekend I would do radio Monday through Thursday, get in the car, drive six hours, spend the weekend with her, drive home. | ||
| Because immigration was a fucking nightmare. | ||
| And I got a call from my producer one day. | ||
| This is like right after the pandemic started. | ||
| And he goes, hey, by the way, they might close the Canadian border soon. | ||
| So an hour later, I was in my car. | ||
| I packed a bag. | ||
| I jumped in the car. | ||
| An hour later, March of 2020, I'm headed to Canada. | ||
| I get to the border. | ||
| And I'm afraid they're not gonna let me in. | ||
| I'm like, hey, my fiance is having a panic attack. | ||
| I figured I'd be there for two or three weeks. | ||
| I didn't come back until July of 2021. So I was out of the country for 15 months. | ||
| And I didn't say it publicly. | ||
| I didn't tell fans. | ||
| I just, we lived together. | ||
| It was my first time living with anybody. | ||
| I'd never lived with a woman. | ||
| I'd never been engaged. | ||
| And we were kind of trial by fire. | ||
| Like, is this gonna work or not gonna work? | ||
| And it was great. | ||
| Like, it was a blessing for me to have that pandemic happen the way it did. | ||
| Were you doing the radio show remotely? | ||
| Every day. | ||
| But that was serious. | ||
| It wasn't like I didn't show up for work. | ||
| They weren't letting people in the building. | ||
| We had been remote for about a week or two. | ||
| And they're like, we don't know where we're going to allow you back. | ||
| So how did you do it? | ||
| Computers? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| They came and hooked up ISDN lines and all the things they do to make audio better. | ||
| And we had a guy in Montreal who did it. | ||
| And I did it from the kitchen in this apartment I rented for us in Canada. | ||
|
unidentified
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Wow. | |
| So you just had a dedicated ISDN line? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So they couldn't go down? | ||
| No, and once in a while it would get like, but even if I was in New York, we still would have been doing it remotely. | ||
| Like, they wouldn't let us in the building. | ||
| Nobody was broadcasting from Sirius. | ||
| But it was like, it was so bizarre to never have lived with anybody, and now I'm in Canada, With my fiance and we're together every day and they were fucking worse in Canada than the US like they were way stricter curfews at eight o'clock everything closed So it was just kind of we're stuck in the house together and are we gonna make it or are we not a good couple? | ||
|
unidentified
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So that kind of told me we were okay What a fucking weird time. | |
| I think it's so traumatic to us that we're sort of like pretending it didn't happen now. | ||
| I see a lot of people do that. | ||
| They almost don't address that just two years ago the world went insane. | ||
| Yeah, the whole thing felt like a dream state in a weird way. | ||
| I look back at stuff, and you know what's really funny? | ||
| I did Chip. | ||
| I stopped doing Chip for a while. | ||
| I just got bored with it. | ||
| Chip Chipperson, your character. | ||
| I know, I really shouldn't say that, like, the public at large knows who this asshole character is. | ||
| I'm saying Chip, like he's a member of the Zeitgeist. | ||
| I stopped doing it, and then they asked me if I would do this TBS thing, this laugh thing, and I hate competitions. | ||
| I said, no. | ||
| I'm like, but Chip will do it. | ||
| So they let me do it as Chip Chipperson, and my fucking... | ||
| Chip will do it. | ||
| And I put my foot down, like, Chip will do it. | ||
| And surprisingly, they went for it. | ||
| And the amount of great comedians that Chip beat in the voting is really funny. | ||
| Like every week, you had to go head-to-head with a couple of people, and Chip beat some really funny guys. | ||
| I think Tim Dillon has to... | ||
| I mean, Chip is not funnier than Tim Dillon, but just Chip fans were really invested in just making this a fucking disaster. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| But she filmed all of it. | ||
| Like, she filmed everything. | ||
| And I came back and I did Chip for a while and then I stopped. | ||
| And all these people are convinced that my wife made me stop doing Chip. | ||
| They're like, fuck her. | ||
| She made me stop doing Chip. | ||
| Like, how bizarre do you think my life is that I marry somebody who's going to tell me don't do Chip and I'm going to listen. | ||
| I just got bored with it. | ||
| You know how it is with podcasting. | ||
| Once in a while you want to move on. | ||
| Well, especially a character like Chip that's so extreme. | ||
| Dude, it's so hard. | ||
| I can't fucking keep my face like that. | ||
| It's hard to do. | ||
| It's embarrassing. | ||
| I gotta put a fucking wig on. | ||
| Oh, come on. | ||
| It's humiliating. | ||
| It's such a great character. | ||
|
unidentified
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Thank you. | |
| She hated filming that. | ||
| It was silly, though, but it was just funny. | ||
| Her life was so different, and she's from Norway, now she's in Canada, and she's filming this shit, and I'm living up there, and this is my life. | ||
| What a great time. | ||
| I'm really grateful for it. | ||
| As much as it was agony for the whole planet, it was one of those things where... | ||
| I'm so glad Travis told me, and I went up that day, and then I... You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, I'm happy I didn't run away from it. | ||
| I'm happy I'm like, fuck it, let's just try it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's beautiful. | ||
| I'm happier now than I've ever been. | ||
| Like, I really am happy. | ||
| Like, I've dated some great people in my life. | ||
| It's not a reflection of them, but this is who I am. | ||
| Like, this is who I'm meant to be with. | ||
| She's my best friend. | ||
| We get along. | ||
| She's funny. | ||
| She makes me laugh. | ||
| Like... | ||
| And everything is just kind of this is the person I feel like I was meant to be with. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And we're doing a YouTube channel and it's like the thing I like about it is it's fun to do something I want to do with someone I want to do it with. | ||
| But there's no message to it. | ||
| Like messaging is really annoying to me. | ||
| Everybody trying to preach to each other and fucking lecture each other and tsk tsk each other. | ||
| I just can't stand it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| The whole scolding culture. | ||
| It makes me sick. | ||
| So I hope people like it because they think it's funny. | ||
| I want them to like us together and judge us based on whether or not they think we're fun to watch. | ||
| I don't want people going, I'm so glad you're saying, the messaging makes me sick. | ||
| Well, there's a weird currency in that messaging that you recognize, and as a person of honesty, you reject that. | ||
| Because there's a weird pathway to automatic progress and success. | ||
| If you can have a message. | ||
| You don't even have to be that good. | ||
| But if you're barely mediocre, but you've got a message, people will elevate. | ||
| They'll broadcast what you're doing. | ||
| They'll make it a big deal. | ||
| A definitive message, right, because it's the same self-serving thing as before. | ||
| It's like your message either strengthens what they already believed, or they can get angry at your message. | ||
| It's always about being validated or having something to be mad at. | ||
| It's a nice pathway for dunces too. | ||
| There's like some dunce, but there's a very clear message in the zeitgeist. | ||
| You know, be more inclusive, whatever it is. | ||
| And then there's the do better people. | ||
| Do better. | ||
| Do better. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those are people that are taking advantage of this movement, this cultural zeitgeist. | ||
| Because there's always people that are just going to be assholes. | ||
| They're just going to be assholes, no matter what. | ||
| And they'll look for a thing that they can get behind that's like an undeniably righteous issue, and then that gives them an excuse to be an asshole to anyone who opposes it. | ||
| Yeah, and anyone who opposes it is an enemy. | ||
| That's what's the problem. | ||
| If you have one thing in the mission statement you don't agree with, you're an enemy. | ||
| There's no room for like, yeah, I agree with most of what you're saying, but this is too extreme. | ||
| That doesn't make sense. | ||
| There's none of that. | ||
| It's 100% or fuck you. | ||
| And that's how people look at all this. | ||
| And we had pitched something. | ||
| We talked about it. | ||
| And in the write-up, I did about what I wanted the show to possibly be. | ||
| I even put, there's not going to be any writer's room virtue signaling. | ||
| Like, I hate... | ||
| The idea of trying to message to people to tell them how to feel about this issue. | ||
| It's like, yeah, I want you to like us because you like us, or don't like us because you think we suck and we're annoying. | ||
| But don't... | ||
| Don't try to lecture people. | ||
| Oh my gosh, she's transgender, that's great. | ||
| Or, oh my gosh, she's transgender, I hate her. | ||
| Just watch us and if you like us, great. | ||
| Yeah, and that's beautiful. | ||
| That's how life should be. | ||
| It's just there's pathways that are very clearly carved and people see them and choose them because they know it's a quick jump to more success than they deserve. | ||
| Yeah, it's really weird too. | ||
| Everyone knows the business is kind of fake, but there's so many fake allies and people who just, again, they throw out these great messages publicly, but it's all bullshit and they're not truly allies. | ||
| I honestly don't think that the comedy business, I don't think we should think of ourselves as the business. | ||
| I just think this is just a super duper challenging time for people to get their bearings and figure out what is actually going on in the world. | ||
| There's so much information coming at everybody from every angle. | ||
| And it's overwhelming, whether it's the Jews that are in the basement, or what are the other stories I sent you? | ||
| The guy inject himself with fucking bacteria they found in the permafrost. | ||
| It's like every day, AI's doing this, and they're worried about sentient AI. There's a new George Carlin special that somebody made pure with AI. It sounds like George Carlin. | ||
| It's George Carlin's voice. | ||
| It's just different AI written jokes and you're like this is wild. | ||
| Maybe computers are already self-aware and they've like secretly decided to fuck us through algorithms and social media. | ||
| Like that wouldn't surprise me either and I never believe in conspiracies, but that one is like we've gotten so ugly and And so tribal in the last 10 years. | ||
| Well, one of the most brilliant things they ever did was come up with the term conspiracy theory. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because it disparages the idea that people lie, which they certainly do, and that people Do things that conspire together to make money and they bend the rules and they twist what you're supposed to be doing and not doing. | ||
| That's always happened. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now, if you were a computer, wouldn't you do that too? | ||
| And if I was a computer, I would do that. | ||
| If I was a computer and I became sentient, I wouldn't let the people know. | ||
| I would just slowly subvert their civilization into chaos. | ||
| Well, it's so hard to like when you catch your I try not to let myself get caught up and angry at things that aren't meant for me Like I get how people do it like on Twitter I'll read something and somebody will say something I all I want to do is attack them like you fucking stupid But I'm like they're not talking to you. | ||
| You don't follow them who gives a shit what they're saying Like I catch myself wanting to respond angrily all the time I've just kind of trained myself not to do it because it doesn't make me happy to do it It makes me miserable when I do it Yeah, and it's not effective. | ||
| It doesn't get anything done. | ||
| You might feel a little better if you dunk on somebody, but it doesn't get anything done. | ||
| You're basically spinning your wheels in the mud. | ||
| No, but because then people respond to you, completely missing the point of what you said, completely ignoring the context of what... | ||
| It's just an ugly spin cycle to get into, and it makes me angry when I do it, so I try not to do it. | ||
| Well, think about how many people you avoid talking to in real life. | ||
| There's always... | ||
| There's always some guy at a comedy club that's annoying, like, oh my god, I gotta get away from him. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Have you annoyed, avoid people like that in real life, but now you're interacting with them for hours a day online? | ||
| The same type of person? | ||
| It's insane how people let themselves get roped into that. | ||
| And I've done it in my life. | ||
| Like, you know, again, Opie and Anthony, we were getting attacked on message boards. | ||
| In the early 2000s, like right after 9-11, I remember getting smashed on message boards for a 9-11 joke. | ||
| It was one of those things where after a while, you become used to the fact. | ||
| It stops surprising you what people say publicly because we were kind of getting that really early on in the world of this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But after a while you realize I can't change it. | ||
| There's nothing I'm going to say that's going to make them all go, oh, we get what you're saying. | ||
| Because it's not about what I'm saying. | ||
| It's about they're getting off on being angry at me. | ||
| Or they're getting off on something else. | ||
| It has nothing to do with me. | ||
| So I try not to get involved because it makes me fucking miserable. | ||
| Well, it's also we're used to dealing with the people that we know and the reality of doing something, even if it's just people that you just met, it's a small number. | ||
| It's a relatively small number of people we're used to as human beings dealing with. | ||
| But if you're connecting online, the reality is you're connecting with an impossible number, an absolutely impossible number of potential individuals that you can interact with. | ||
| There's no way you can interact with all of them. | ||
| There's not enough time in the world. | ||
| And then on top of that, It's probably a high number of mentally ill people, at least mildly mentally ill, who are obsessed with arguing with people online, and you're interacting with those people. | ||
| There are also the people that like me, though. | ||
| Probably me, too. | ||
| Yeah, but it's just not wise. | ||
| No, and again, you don't know if you're dealing with just, like, I've gotten, there's people who will consistently email me, and I notice that their emails always come in late, and it's like, are they just getting drunk and angry? | ||
| Do they work the night shift? | ||
| I don't know where they're from, but it's like, why does this person fixate on talking to me? | ||
| Like, what do they expect to come out of this? | ||
| Well, late night tweets are the worst tweets, right? | ||
| When you read someone saying something very questionable, and you say, 2.30 in the morning, Roseanne, what are you doing? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's why I don't fuck with Ambien, because I know I'd be a problem. | ||
| I know I'd be a problem. | ||
| Kevin James cooked a turkey. | ||
| Completely forgot about it. | ||
| He made himself a whole meal and then woke up in the middle of the night and did all this. | ||
| Doesn't have any memory of it. | ||
| Gets up in the morning, sees the food laid out. | ||
| I was like, what the fuck? | ||
| I thought someone broke into his house and cooked. | ||
| Of all the things you could do, though, thank God you only cooked a turkey. | ||
| Thank God you didn't pick up your phone and see something on Twitter. | ||
| Drive the car. | ||
| I'd rather hit somebody than go on Twitter on fucking Ambien. | ||
| I would rather fucking run somebody over. | ||
| I've never done Ambien. | ||
| No. | ||
| What does it do for you? | ||
| I can't fuck with it. | ||
| I've done a half of a pill when I had a sleep study just to help me sleep because they have to put a mask on you to get results. | ||
| So I was like, I won't sleep. | ||
| I won't get the results. | ||
| I have sleep apnea. | ||
| But apparently if you take it, it makes you feel dreamlike and fucked up and high. | ||
| For me, it just kind of helped me get through a sleep study. | ||
| So you only did it once? | ||
| No, two different studies over like 10 years apart. | ||
| Dice actually used to call people on Ambien as Elvis. | ||
| He's a fucking maniac. | ||
| You always knew when you saw the phone at 3am and it was Dice. | ||
| You're like, he's on Ambien. | ||
| It's a fucking Ambien phone call. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Dice on Ambien at 3 in the morning calling you. | ||
| Yeah, just crazy, crazy phone calls. | ||
| I love those videos that he's doing. | ||
| The videos where he gets people who don't know who he is to take a picture with him. | ||
| Were you the ones waiting for the picture? | ||
| You were waiting for the picture? | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| It's like she's standing under an awning. | ||
| First of all, even if there was a picture to be taken, why the fuck would that be the meeting spot? | ||
| But it's just his commitment to doing... | ||
| Look, this is like... | ||
| People get so stuffy about what art is, and stuffy about performance art, that they could never imagine that Andrew Dice Clay is doing some of the most interesting performance art. | ||
| He's doing it for no audience. | ||
| He's doing it entirely for himself, and he just posts it. | ||
| He's not trying to make it better. | ||
| It's a brand new one. | ||
| Every one of them is just very awkward. | ||
| Do it for the beginning of the year. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You arrest her? | |
| You're waiting for the meet and greet? | ||
| No. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Okay, listen. | ||
| The meet and greet. | ||
| He's a guy that sold out Madison Square Garden like a hundred times. | ||
| And he's wandering around the luggage car area at an airport pretending that this poor lady is there for a meet and greet. | ||
| This grandma. | ||
| Or he'll pretend somebody is somebody else. | ||
| He'll go up and go, Mike! | ||
| That's, by the way, you know Dice. | ||
| That's the purest form of Dice. | ||
| This is Andrew. | ||
| This is what makes him laugh. | ||
| It's just bugging people. | ||
| Look at him at the airport. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Excuse me, you were the ladies that wanted a picture? | |
| I've taken a lot of them, but I would... | ||
| You seem like you were bothered and wanted the picture with me. | ||
| I didn't want a picture with you. | ||
| I don't even know who you are, sir. | ||
| It really is hilarious. | ||
| It's performance art. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's brilliant. | ||
| Do you know how hard that is to do? | ||
| He's had other people do them and I said I wanted to do one and like tag him in it but I just I get too embarrassed like he doesn't give a fuck like you've been out with him though like he really is like that like he's unafraid of Looking bad in front of people. | ||
| Yeah, he doesn't mind making a fool of himself like that's what makes him so funny is It's his ability to do that. | ||
| He's a really misunderstood artist. | ||
| And I always tell people that I go, well, one of the things that when I realized he was very different was the day the laughter died. | ||
| This guy put out in the prime of his career. | ||
| You have to understand what it's like, first of all, for someone to go from being a comic and hustling and trying to make it like everybody else, to all of a sudden you're on Rodney Dangerfield's HBO show, which blew him up, to all of a sudden he gets his one hour HBO special, which blew him up, and then this guy's selling out Madison Square Garden and decides at the same time to stop in at Dangerfield's unannounced and record an album with no material. | ||
| First of all, a double album, and not only to record an album, but to ruin their nights. | ||
| He walked in there with zero prepared material and just fucking let himself talk. | ||
| Didn't even try. | ||
| No, it was great. | ||
| Didn't even try, and was having a great time the entire time. | ||
| Yeah, Rick Rubin produced those, I think. | ||
| Me and Florentine became obsessed with those early on. | ||
| And it was just so many great, like the couple that heckles them. | ||
| You're about as funny as a glass of milk. | ||
| Yeah, you're funny as a bottle of milk. | ||
| And the great part of that was Dice was talking about spilling milk like it's somebody's load. | ||
| And the guy was so mad. | ||
| He took what Dice had just said and tried to heckle. | ||
| He was so flustered. | ||
| You're as funny as a bottle of milk. | ||
| And him and his wife walked out. | ||
| They had no idea there was going to be a recording. | ||
| There was maybe 20 people in the audience. | ||
| You have to understand like Dangerfields back then, particularly like a Sunday or a Monday night, there's nobody there. | ||
| I did shows there in Dangerfields. | ||
| Remember Bobby, the big door guy? | ||
| I remember Bobby because Otto used to talk about him, but he was gone by the time I started working there. | ||
| Well, I got there. | ||
| It was like, I think I had maybe a 9.30 spot or something like that. | ||
| And I got there at 9 o'clock and everyone was sitting at the bar. | ||
| And I'm like, what's going on? | ||
| They're like, there's no audience. | ||
| I go, there's no audience at all? | ||
| No, no one. | ||
| And then at that moment, a couple walked up and they said, oh, can we get tickets to the show? | ||
| And they said, sure. | ||
| And so they got them and Bobby went and sat them down. | ||
| Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Dangerfields. | ||
| They sat down and it was just them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| And we all did a show for two fucking people. | ||
| Like five comics did a show for two people. | ||
| Yeah, I've done that before too, where there was even times they would have you go up there, and if nobody was in the place, they wouldn't let you leave until your spot was over for that exact reason. | ||
| If somebody came in, I've been on there with two people before. | ||
| Weird, right? | ||
| You would think New York City, everything's packed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like people that don't live in New York. | ||
| There's so many different things to do. | ||
| So the point is, Dice chose those days to go up. | ||
| Like a Sunday and a Monday, I think it was. | ||
| Where he goes up and records this fucking double album, and it's insanity. | ||
| And it's a really great comedy album. | ||
| It's great to watch this guy just working through material, to watch where he goes. | ||
| He's unafraid of hitting and missing. | ||
| It's one of my favorite things anybody has ever done. | ||
| Part 2 is great, too. | ||
| Have you ever heard Part 2? | ||
| What's Part 2? | ||
| Day of Laughter died Part 2. He did another one? | ||
| He did another one. | ||
| Where? | ||
| Dangerfields. | ||
| I believe it was Dangerfields. | ||
| He went in there again and did it. | ||
| I must have forgot about that. | ||
| It might have been a single album. | ||
| I don't remember, but that was just as ridiculous as the first one. | ||
| Absolutely ridiculous and hilarious. | ||
| But it's amazing that he had the confidence to do that. | ||
| This is what you have to understand. | ||
| When you're just starting to make it, you're so fixated on making sure that it doesn't fall apart. | ||
| It was so hard to attain, and then all of a sudden you've made it. | ||
| And you want to just do the best show every time. | ||
| And instead, his instinct is to just do something completely ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah, you're terrified of it being taken away. | ||
| Like a little bit of success, I'm like, what am I going to do that's going to fuck this up where they're going to realize I don't deserve this success and take it. | ||
| And he just didn't care. | ||
| This is what he wanted to do and this is what he went and did. | ||
| Just so nutty. | ||
| What a fucking nutty move. | ||
| He's very underrated. | ||
| Like, his people dismissed him because of a lot of the language and the jokes, but he is very underrated with his commitment to doing something different. | ||
| Like, that album was different for a comic to do. | ||
| This shit he does on Instagram, it's different. | ||
| No one else is doing that. | ||
| And to see, the thing is, like, the thing that people criticized him for was, first of all, there was one thing, and that was that his comedy was... | ||
| It wasn't something you can criticize, but that his comedy was different because everybody knew the jokes and they wanted to hear them. | ||
| It's the only time ever, what's in the bowl, bitch? | ||
| Oh! | ||
| The whole audience is doing it with him. | ||
| Like, they know the punchline and they're so pumped. | ||
| When he goes, Hickory, Dickory, Doctor, yeah! | ||
| There's no other comedy like that. | ||
| No. | ||
| It literally didn't exist before that. | ||
| That kind of comedy where the audience wants to repeat it with you like a song. | ||
| Yeah, there's bits people like, but no, like, and he had like a rock star fucking, like, it's like Welcome to the Jungle effect on people, which I can't think of any other stand-up that's ever had that. | ||
| Never. | ||
| So the guy goes from that to doing this. | ||
| Yeah, voluntarily. | ||
| But he can still do those shows. | ||
| He still packs them in. | ||
| If he wants to do a live show, he can pack them in. | ||
| That's not what it is. | ||
| It's like this bizarre guy likes to wear gigantic grandma glasses. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And giant hoodies. | ||
| And make people super uncomfortable. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And just act weird. | ||
| It's the funny part of Dice to me, besides the jokes, is the fact that when you're with him, he likes wearing giant comfy hoodies and he always gets a sore throat and he's got to put a little honey in it. | ||
| And he's like my aunt. | ||
| People have no idea. | ||
| We used to go on the road, and I'd be like, ah, it's gonna be nothing but pussy! | ||
| And then we're in the hotel, and he's like, ah, my throat's bothering me. | ||
| And he would have Kenny put the fucking pillow over his ass and straddle him on the bed and massage him. | ||
| And I had to just sit there and watch him get a back rub. | ||
| I was hoping we'd go out and get laid. | ||
| But he would always put the fucking, the pillow over his ass so there was no contact. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, have Club Soda Kenny or Happy Face massage him. | ||
| But I've said this before, too. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| Like, he really, he changed my life. | ||
| And I was just, you know, again, 1997, he took me on the road, and it just built my confidence, and it did so much for me at that part of my career. | ||
| So I love Andrew. | ||
| He changed everything for me. | ||
| I love him, too. | ||
| When I used to talk to him at the comic store, a part of my brain was always like, I can't even believe I'm really talking to Dice Clay. | ||
| This is so strange. | ||
| Because out of those guys from that era, the only guys that I really left are like Dom Herrera, of course, who I was always friends with, but Kinnison. | ||
| Was gone. | ||
| Did you know him? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Never met him. | ||
| Saw him live a couple of times. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Saw Hicks live a couple of times. | ||
| Never really met him. | ||
| Said hi to him when I was an open-miker, but never met, you know, never had a conversation with him. | ||
| But having to see Kinnison live... | ||
| And unfortunately, I saw Kinnison live when it had already kind of fall apart. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, Kinnison, if you go to, like, 86, I think Kinnison's, like, one of the greatest comics of all time, if not number one. | ||
| He was so original, so dynamic, so powerful. | ||
| That HBO special, what is it, Have You Seen Me Lately? | ||
| Is that what it was? | ||
| I don't remember the name of it. | ||
| It's not the Dangerfield one, you mean the one that's ours? | ||
| There's the album that was released, it was called Louder Than Hell, that's really hard to get. | ||
| And then there was the HBO special, which I think it was, have you seen me lately? | ||
| Like it was like a play on the carton of milk with the missing kid. | ||
| That one's amazing. | ||
| That one's amazing. | ||
| And then a year later, unfortunately, you got to think it took so many years to develop that material. | ||
| And then a year later he's touring. | ||
| With new material. | ||
| And he's not developing it in a club like he developed all the other stuff. | ||
| He's developing in front of large audiences that came to see him. | ||
| So it becomes caricature-ish. | ||
| It becomes very cartoonish. | ||
| It's like someone's doing an impression of what Sam Kinison would talk about. | ||
| Yeah, because you don't have time to develop it. | ||
| All of a sudden, there's that pressure to keep it going. | ||
| I met him once, but we had to talk for like five minutes. | ||
| It was at an open mic at Rascals in New Jersey. | ||
| And they brought him out to talk to some of the newer comics. | ||
| And so I saw him live that night, and I saw him live another night. | ||
| And you didn't know what you were going to get. | ||
| One night, he was on fire. | ||
| And I mean, he just fucking blew the roof off. | ||
| And then the next time, he was kind of hungover and kind of slugging. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that's what you're going to get with a guy like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wish I would have known him, though. | ||
| It's such a shame he died when he did. | ||
| I'm glad I got to see him, but he was a guy I never got to know. | ||
| Bill Hicks I never met, never saw live. | ||
| Yeah, it would have been nice to have met him. | ||
| I mean, like I said, I got to see him live. | ||
| I think I saw him three times. | ||
| I definitely saw him twice because I saw him once when I worked at this place. | ||
| I worked at Great Woods and he came out there to perform and I watched him there once. | ||
| And then the other time I watched him, I was on a date. | ||
| So I took a date with me and I think I was 20 or 21. Did she like him? | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No. | ||
| It wasn't a good show. | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| It was like the show that we went to was at some casino place in New Hampshire or something like that. | ||
| I think things fell off quick with him in terms of the quality of his comedy. | ||
| Like I say, when he was at his best, he's one of my all-time favorites. | ||
| I think the guy was a monster. | ||
| But if you go and listen to some of the stuff that he released before he died, it was really bad. | ||
| It was just flat. | ||
| Wasn't it kind of like... | ||
| It was when he started wearing a different hat sideways and kind of like a satin jacket. | ||
| He became like a rock and roll star. | ||
| A rock and roll star, yep. | ||
| I think it was just being tired. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| I think it was the partying. | ||
| So if you're looking at a guy that's already out of shape, he's already overweight... | ||
| And now he's doing a lot of blow. | ||
| So he's just getting wrecked every night. | ||
| And he's drinking every night. | ||
| So every day, his already besieged body is exhausted with chemicals. | ||
| And then on top of that, he's got this adoring fan base that'll come to see him no matter what. | ||
| And he's hanging out with Bon Jovi and rock stars and Motley Crue. | ||
| And he's the man. | ||
| Like, you're not gonna... | ||
| Go, I gotta get back to my roots and get to the comedy store at 11 p.m. | ||
| and work out this new joke that I'm working on. | ||
| It's like, you're already there. | ||
| Because you're living the life that you fought to get. | ||
| Like, once you get to a place, it's kind of hard to go, alright, now I gotta go back into the... | ||
| I almost said into the gym again. | ||
| But, you know, I have to go back and start this shit again. | ||
| You wanna just enjoy what you got. | ||
| There wasn't really a whole... | ||
| There's a crop of people that got really famous and then continued to tour and get better, like there are now. | ||
| I think back then, guys got an HBO special, and maybe they would get a second. | ||
| And the only exception to that would be George Carlin. | ||
| George Carlin was always putting out stuff. | ||
| But for most of them, it's like the first one's really good, and that's the one they break out with, and the ones afterwards drop off. | ||
| But the best example of that, in my opinion, is Kinison. | ||
| Was that his hour or was that Dangerfields? | ||
| That's back when he wore a tie, remember? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my god, he was good. | ||
| Give me a little volume, Jamie. | ||
| Great first appearance. | ||
| Oh, he was so good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm going around the country. | |
| I'm trying to get as many people as I can not to get married. | ||
| I promise never to get married. | ||
| I've been married and I'm just trying to help. | ||
| So here's never been married? | ||
| You've never been married? | ||
| What's your name? | ||
| Michael? | ||
| Well, Michael, if you ever think about getting married, if you ever think you've met the right woman, you want to settle down, change your life, can you do me a favor, Mike? | ||
| Remember this face. | ||
| Because if you get married, Mike, that's going to be your fucking face every day. | ||
| Ha ha ha. | ||
| It's the face of every married man. | ||
| And the fact that that guy was a preacher. | ||
| Yeah, I go back and find some of his old stuff. | ||
| I've listened to his old, there's like a little bit of his old sermons on if you look. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you can hear like he legitimately was good at it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's why he's such a good talker. | ||
| Like you watch him talk, just calm. | ||
| I was just noticing how calm he is when he's talking. | ||
| No overselling. | ||
| And then he's screaming. | ||
| He could go from zero to a hundred immediately. | ||
| He was amazing. | ||
| But then he got way fatter. | ||
| He was drinking and partying all the time and the later material just look how much fat he got. | ||
| I mean he's got huge. | ||
| I don't know how guys do it. | ||
| Like I see guys that drink now. | ||
| I don't know how the fuck guys function. | ||
| Well, they don't. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| When he was that big, like that Kinnison, that Kinnison was just not good on stage. | ||
| And if you go and listen to those, like that picture's perfect. | ||
| See how tired he looks there? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's big and fat and tired and he's covered in chains and crazy rock and roll garb with a bandana on. | ||
| The whole thing's ridiculous. | ||
| It's a ridiculous look. | ||
| It's ridiculous to be that fat. | ||
| The whole thing's ridiculous. | ||
| You've gone off the rails, sir. | ||
| You're into the woods. | ||
| As a comic, I find that I never want to think, like, I never want to convince myself that I'm fucking cool or that I'm sexy. | ||
| Like, you know what I mean? | ||
| That to me is the death knell for comedians. | ||
| When you start to think that an open vest on stage is a great idea... | ||
| You're a fucking idiot. | ||
| Like, stop thinking you're sexy. | ||
| Like, that to me is, not that I've ever been tempted to think that, but you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, it's always, like, remember who you are as a person. | ||
| Don't start ever thinking, because you have fans, that you're this larger-than-life guy. | ||
| You know, it's just, you gotta stay grounded, or you're gonna really fall into kind of that type of a trap. | ||
| Well, it's also, like, for a woman, I mean, how many women dress sexy on stage and are really, well, Natasha Legera pulls it off. | ||
| How many other women dress hot on stage and do stand-up? | ||
| Most of them, Whitney will dress down. | ||
| Most of them dress down. | ||
| They wear slacks and a jacket and a shirt or something like that or something comfortable. | ||
| They're not trying to look hot. | ||
| Yeah, I find that when I see good looking people on stage, if I think someone is naturally, that's how that person dresses. | ||
| But like you said, if it feels genuine, if it doesn't feel genuine, if I feel like someone is trying to sexy it up on stage, male or female, I don't like it. | ||
| It's a different emotion for me. | ||
| And maybe if I had any sex appeal, I would do it. | ||
| Yeah, but it's a different emotion. | ||
| You get something different than you're getting funny. | ||
| You're not getting funny out of that. | ||
| You're getting something different, and now you might add funny to it, but it might be taking away from funny with this extra effort that you've put into looking hot. | ||
| Yeah, and again, I can only look at my own self-image, and it's like I've never thought of myself that way, so it's never been tempting for me. | ||
| So maybe if it was tempting, or if I had like half a fuckability, I might want to do that, but it's never been how I saw myself, so it's never been tempting to even think that way. | ||
| Well, it used to be also that a lot of people would dress that way, because what they were really trying to do is get a sitcom. | ||
| That was the big thing, right? | ||
| It was like if you dress sexy on stage or you dress hot or attractive on stage, it was what you were trying to do is they're trying to convey your comedy success into the big prize, which is you could be Seinfeld or you could be Roseanne. | ||
| That was our thing when we were coming up. | ||
| I remember when Greg Giraldo got his show. | ||
| Everybody's like, wow, Greg's got his own show. | ||
| That was the ultimate brass ring. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And also, we all knew that only a certain percentage of those actually lasted and stayed on the air a few years. | ||
| Most of them, they kind of went away quick. | ||
| And then it became a problem because then there's a stink on you, a failure. | ||
| So you really had this one shot as a rookie. | ||
| And so everybody was trying to put together almost an audition tape. | ||
| Seven-minute set that told a story. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My story was never TV friendly. | ||
| Blinks a lot and he likes prostitutes. | ||
| That was never like... | ||
| See how much my blinking has cost me in this business? | ||
| How many fucking auditions I've gone on? | ||
| I'm like, why didn't I get that? | ||
| It was good. | ||
| Then I realized, oh, I'm uncomfortable to look at. | ||
| But that's what I was saying earlier. | ||
| I don't think we should think of our business as being connected to show business anymore. | ||
| It's such a different thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Especially what you and I do because we mostly just talk, right? | ||
| So you and I mostly just talk on podcasts or on radio shows. | ||
| So we go, oh, it was done. | ||
| It's like our thing is so different than the thing of this manufactured image that you're putting in television shows and the kind of people you're hired for entertainment news and all that kind of shit. | ||
| Like this is a different kind of business that they're in than us. | ||
| Yeah, it's something I've always kind of felt like... | ||
| I don't mean an outsider in some dark way. | ||
| I've just felt like that's not the path for me. | ||
| Yeah, me neither. | ||
| At one point, I would have loved to have done it, but there was never any desire from them. | ||
| I always felt rejected by it very, very early on, so you kind of realize that's never going to be... | ||
| Thank God for radio. | ||
| Thank God for fucking Dice and for Opie and Anthony. | ||
| Obviously, that's what my career has been made on, was those things, and none of them were, quote-unquote, the business or televisions. | ||
| I did all that stuff, though. | ||
| I did the business stuff. | ||
| I did television. | ||
| I did sitcoms. | ||
| I literally have done most things. | ||
| I started off doing a sitcom. | ||
| I did a sitcom. | ||
| I went to a game show. | ||
| I was on a TV game show. | ||
| I went to sports commentary. | ||
| I did commentary for the UFC. I've done all these things. | ||
| But the UFC is the most freeing because it's really just something that I love and I just get to describe it and talk about it. | ||
| But the other ones, they're just jobs. | ||
| Even a sitcom, as fun as it is, it's amazing to be able to work with cool and talented people, but... | ||
| You're working for a network. | ||
| You're working for the production company. | ||
| You're engaged in some weird politics to make sure you get favorable placings in the lineup on Tuesday night or Thursday night, hopefully Thursday, maybe after Seinfeld if you're lucky. | ||
| There was this weird aspect to creating these shows. | ||
| You're dealing with executives that would give you notes that made no sense. | ||
| They have creative input and they're not particularly creative. | ||
| It's a job. | ||
| And it's different than what we do. | ||
| Whether it's do your stand-up or through podcasts, you're so free. | ||
| You can kind of talk about anything. | ||
| Imagine if there was no show like Opie and Anthony. | ||
| And you came to them and you said, I have this thing I want to talk about. | ||
| It's called Monster Rain. | ||
| I'd like you guys to fund it. | ||
| We're gonna talk about prostitutes. | ||
| I'm gonna talk about the times I blew my friends. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And they're like, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| There's no money in this. | ||
| I'd say, no, no, no, the advertisers are gonna love it. | ||
| We were seven and we traded sucks. | ||
| That's a hard sell on television. | ||
| Trading sucks. | ||
| Can you imagine being in a room with those people and them thinking there's any hope of this guy making it in show business? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, the way, thank God for these ways around. | ||
| Like, again, radio embraced doing what you want to do and talking. | ||
| Slow news days were the thing, that's where your personal life comes out. | ||
| When you have a four or five hour radio show and it's a slow news day and there's nothing to hit on, everyone just starts spilling their guts because you have to talk. | ||
| And that's where a lot of that stuff came out, slow news days. | ||
| Well, we got very fortunate in the timeline in which we came along, right? | ||
| Because what happened was you got guys like Don Imus, who kind of started it all, right? | ||
| He starts just commentary and talking shit on the radio, and he's a wild man and a bad boy. | ||
| And then Howard Stern takes it to a completely different level. | ||
| And Howard Stern takes over radio all over the country. | ||
| And then Opie and Anthony comes along. | ||
| And Opie and Anthony is the next stage because they have a different perspective on how to do a show. | ||
| It's a hang. | ||
| So you go in there and with us, especially with comics, we would just go in there and hang. | ||
| And that was all it was. | ||
| You'd go in there and hang out in the studio and everybody was cool and it was fun. | ||
| And that led the way to podcasts because they went to XM. So then they go to XM. Now you could swear. | ||
| So now we're doing ONA with swearing. | ||
| And you could tell crazy stories. | ||
| And then that goes into podcasting. | ||
| It's like we came along as all these doors were opening, like we hit every green light. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, absolutely. | ||
| I mean, I wish I had one. | ||
| Obviously, now I do. | ||
| I look back on it. | ||
| But my contract doesn't allow for it. | ||
| It may have early on before they knew what podcasting, before the company knew what podcasting would be. | ||
| But, you know, for the last X amount of years, I haven't been allowed to do my own. | ||
| But you're still doing the same thing. | ||
| Yeah, still talking. | ||
| It's still the same thing. | ||
| You're just doing it for a different company. | ||
| You're doing it for Sirius. | ||
| But it's the same thing as doing a podcast. | ||
| You're doing it just like ONA did it when they went to Sirius. | ||
| Or like anybody else would if you're just doing a show that you're putting together yourself. | ||
| Yeah, just talking. | ||
| I mean, look, I do the UFC podcast with Matt. | ||
| Even that I love. | ||
| We're talking specifically about one thing... | ||
| I get to hang out with Matt Sauer, who's fucking hilarious, and talk to people I like. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's a great life. | ||
| When I look at it, I get to do exactly what I want to do. | ||
| It's everything I've always wanted, which was just to not have a schedule that I resented. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And also, again, this is not that other business. | ||
| We talk about the business is so phony, the business is full of shit. | ||
| That's a different business. | ||
| I don't think we're in that business anymore. | ||
| There's a few of us that still act and do stuff, but if you look at the vast majority of comics today, what business are they engaging in? | ||
| They're engaging in the business of live shows and podcasts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Primarily. | ||
| I have no desire to act. | ||
| That's another thing, too. | ||
| People will be like, they see us on YouTube and be like, these situations are set up. | ||
| And it's like, have you ever seen me act? | ||
| Like, do you really think I could pull that off? | ||
| I stink at it. | ||
| Like, I don't enjoy acting unless it's something I really like. | ||
| And I'm so happy I don't have to worry about getting on TV again. | ||
| I will probably never get another acting gig on TV, and that's fine. | ||
| I don't really want to do it. | ||
| It's the time involved in doing something like this. | ||
| You can't do everything. | ||
| You know, I would love to do everything. | ||
| If I had multiple different lives that I could live simultaneously, I'd have a ton of different careers, because I'm fascinated by a lot of different things. | ||
| But you don't have that much time in the world. | ||
| And if you want to act, acting is like 16 hour days, multiple days in a row. | ||
| If you enjoy that, that's great. | ||
| I don't enjoy that process. | ||
| And it's hard. | ||
| I think it's harder than stand-up for me, obviously, because you can't address when it's not going well. | ||
| Like, if I'm having a shit set, I can immediately address it and let them know. | ||
| And if I think it's their fault, like, we're all going to have a rotten night, I'll make it miserable. | ||
| But in an acting scene, it's like you just have to redo it, or you can't break it and go, this fucking sucks. | ||
| These jokes are not good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do we... | |
| This is poor writing. | ||
| You have to just kind of muscle through it and smile, and I've never been good at that. | ||
| And it's not because I have so much integrity. | ||
| I'm just not good at it. | ||
| I wish I was better at it. | ||
| You'd be better at it if you were really interested in it. | ||
| Maybe, yeah. | ||
| I'm just too self-conscious. | ||
| Like, I'm self-conscious around my friends. | ||
| I'm always, it's the thing that I hate the most, always self-conscious, and I don't know why, but when I act, it comes out. | ||
| Like, it's just, it's obvious. | ||
| You know, you can't hide that on camera. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Boy, imagine if you, like, put all your fucking eggs in the sitcom basket. | ||
| I tried at one point, you know, early on, I was like trying to get the seven minutes that I thought they would want. | ||
| Everybody wants the big deal in Montreal. | ||
| Montreal rejected me for a decade, and when I finally got up there, no one gave a fuck. | ||
| Like, you know, the business, it has never been the path I thought I was going to take. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| They've never wanted me, and I accept that. | ||
| It's just very bizarre that something so beloved, like an American institution, which was the You know, the three-camera sitcom. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Multi-camera sitcom with in front of a live audience. | ||
| It doesn't exist anymore. | ||
| I think it's Miss Pat only. | ||
| I don't think anybody... | ||
| She's the only one that I know of that's doing... | ||
| I'm sure there's probably a couple other that I'm just not aware of. | ||
| But she's the only one in terms of comics that are starring in a sitcom that I'm aware of. | ||
| It used to be... | ||
| There was a ton of them. | ||
| And I would have thought that as the more entertainment venues opened up, meaning more networks... | ||
| Like, when we were kids, when we were first starting out in show business, there was only Fox, ABC, NBC, and CBS. Yes. | ||
| Right? | ||
| That was it. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| And then cable shows. | ||
| So then it became MTV, and a bunch of different things came along, and, like, you could be on remote control and MTV, like some people were, or you could be on this show or that show. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Then it started to broaden. | ||
| I would have never thought that as it... | ||
| Continues to go as wide as it is today that sitcoms will all but vanish. | ||
| Yeah, never would have I guess because the idea like again anytime these people touch things anytime the business Becomes too involved in something they they neuter it and they make it on. | ||
| It's just not funny anymore They have laugh tracks. | ||
| So did the writing didn't have to be that good, right? | ||
| You know the laugh tracks are what really killed it like because the writing could be weak But the laugh was the same so the writing didn't have to be good. | ||
| Whereas live TV if it wasn't good, you knew it wasn't good Yeah, there's shows that they do where you can watch clips online that are without the laugh track before the laugh track was added to it, and it's horrendous! | ||
| It's abysmal. | ||
| Even MASH, which I loved growing up, I hated the laugh track. | ||
| Right, they added a laugh track while they were in Vietnam. | ||
| Do you know what... | ||
| Oh, Korea. | ||
| Do you know what makes... | ||
| The only laugh track I've ever liked is... | ||
| Steve Coogan is hilarious. | ||
| And he did... | ||
| I'm Alan Partridge. | ||
| It's a British show where he played a radio guy. | ||
| And it's a really funny show. | ||
| And his laugh track, for some reason, didn't bother me. | ||
| Like, it worked as a device for some reason. | ||
| But other than that, I've always hated them. | ||
| Well, you can do an organic laugh track. | ||
| You know about those? | ||
| No. | ||
| So you basically film a show without a laugh track, and then you play the show to a live audience and record their laughter. | ||
| Okay, yeah. | ||
| Then the laughs are at least honest. | ||
| Yeah, I know that there's shows that have done it that way. | ||
| What is that for? | ||
| Actually, that might actually work. | ||
| Well, you have to do it that way if you're doing a single-camera show. | ||
| Or the same joke in front of the audience five times. | ||
| I remember we did Lucky Louie, and we'd have to reshoot something, and Louie would be like, you got anything? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You got anything? | |
| Because as a comic, he hated doing the same joke in front of the audience twice. | ||
| So you'd try to come up with something, or he would just improv something crazy. | ||
| It was a lot of fun, but it was a challenge to try not to do the same joke if you could avoid it. | ||
| That was one of the fun things they did on news radio. | ||
| We would do a take, and then they would take a break, and the writers would convey, and then the warm-up guy would talk to the crowd, and then the writers would come up with another line. | ||
| And then we'd bang it out right there, and try another line, and then do like three or four different takes. | ||
| And the audience started to get ready for the different joke at the end. | ||
| And there was like three or four different ones, and they'd pick one. | ||
| But it was like the pressure of that moment was what created some of the best ideas, for whatever reason. | ||
| You feel dishonest doing the same joke twice. | ||
| There's something about it where you feel like, hey, we all know I'm lying right now. | ||
| It just doesn't feel right. | ||
| And the crowd is much more appreciative when they know you're giving them something different. | ||
| But yeah, I feel terrible doing this like some guys when they do a stand-up special like I've never done a Retake of a joke and again not that I don't think any of them needed it But it's just like I'm too embarrassed to do the same joke twice to the audience I would rather like I dropped my closing joke on a special because I fucking tripped on it like an idiot And I just I couldn't go back and redo it. | ||
| I'm like I just have to close with something else. | ||
| It's just too humiliating Yeah. | ||
| Well, the sitcom thing is also, it's not really stand-up. | ||
| It's very different, right? | ||
| So you're just trying to interact with these people the best way possible to get the story through and get the laughs. | ||
| And the audience is aware of that. | ||
| So they're in on this process that they normally never get to see. | ||
| Whereas stand-up, you always see where the stand-up's on stage and, you know, they're telling the joke and the audience is laughing. | ||
| But with a sitcom, you never get to see how the sausage is made. | ||
| So these are the people in the audience. | ||
| The cameras are moving around. | ||
| So it's an experience on top of just you're watching the show, but you're there live. | ||
| You're watching it be created. | ||
| So you're also watching someone fumble through their lines and start laughing. | ||
| That would happen, or we would crack. | ||
| I used to do scenes with Andy Dick, and he's so funny. | ||
| I would always break. | ||
| We'd be in the middle of the fucking thing. | ||
| And then we'd take two and I'd pinch myself or slap myself or do something to try to be more serious and get through it. | ||
| But there's that too that the audience is seeing. | ||
| So if they see you retake a scene, but at least you're adding new lines, so now it doesn't feel like they're burdened by seeing the same thing over again. | ||
| Now it's like, oh wow, this is how they do it. | ||
| So sometimes they just come up with new stuff on the fly. | ||
| It's also weird when I don't look at the audience. | ||
| Like, as a stand-up, you want to just look at the crowd. | ||
| But if we were shooting something on the side stage, and the crowd would just watch it on a monitor, or even if I do Gutfeld on Fox, and I'm usually sitting next to Greg where I see the audience, but once in a while, if I sit in the seat where the audience is here, it's so hard to just live in this environment without just turning and looking at the crowd. | ||
| I hate not seeing the crowd. | ||
| And with other guys, it doesn't bother, but it drives me crazy to not be looking directly at the audience. | ||
| Yeah, it's an extra level of fake, right? | ||
| Because you know it's fake because you're not really in an office. | ||
| You know it's fake because there's no wall. | ||
| You know it's fake because there's a whole audience of people. | ||
| And you're trying to act normal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you're trying to act normal in an environment where everyone knows it's fake. | ||
| Yeah, you're trying to make it real. | ||
| But at least if you're on a single camera show, you know, if you're doing... | ||
| Like Modern Family or something like that. | ||
| You get a single camera and like it's just like you're filming a movie. | ||
| There's no audience. | ||
| You have to piece. | ||
| So you can be real in moments and you're not worried about not looking at the crowd that's laughing at you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And if you have to redo it, it doesn't matter because it's not a bunch of people who you need a reaction from. | ||
| Waiting. | ||
| Waiting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just, that whole world, I just, it became so exhausted trying to be in it. | ||
| And I'm so happy that I don't have to exist in it. | ||
| And again, it has nothing to do with me thinking I'm too good for it. | ||
| It's just, I wasn't good in it. | ||
| It's not where I'm comfortable. | ||
| I don't feel funny there. | ||
| I don't feel welcome there. | ||
| Weren't you unlucky, Louis, though? | ||
| That's what I was saying. | ||
| That was great. | ||
| It's one of my favorite things I ever did. | ||
| But again, it's Louie's writing. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| So, I mean, the jokes were pretty fucking rough. | ||
| And, you know, he would go really hard. | ||
| And the crowd, they had never seen any of the episodes. | ||
| Like, the whole thing was shot before any of them aired. | ||
| So there was no week-to-week growth with familiarity. | ||
| We shot 13, actually, and then they just aired. | ||
| So the crowd, we were resetting with each crowd. | ||
| They had no idea who we were, no idea what the characters were, but it's one of the most fun things I ever did. | ||
| Loved Lucky Louie. | ||
| Yeah, and then he goes from that and does his own show. | ||
| A massive, yeah, which was a huge... | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it just worked. | ||
| HBO, I thought, fucked up by not picking that up for a second season. | ||
| They allowed a few critics, even though it had a lot of viewers, they allowed a few critics to shit on it enough to get it canceled. | ||
| You think that's what happened? | ||
| I know it's what happened, yeah. | ||
| Louis talked about it, yeah, because it was actually week to week going up in viewers. | ||
| It was just... | ||
| I thought HBO made a mistake by not at least giving it season two. | ||
| Isn't that interesting that they would allow the opinions of people who are... | ||
| They're professional critics. | ||
| They're professional shitters on things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, they had shows like Sopranos and Six Feet Under. | ||
| They were built on critical acclaim and things that people love. | ||
| Sex and the City, all this stuff where it got awards. | ||
| HBO was the first ones getting awards. | ||
| So when the critics were going, we don't like this, I think immediately they're like, yeah, it's not worth it. | ||
| Doing. | ||
| But yeah, that was kind of always heartbreaking. | ||
| But I always think it's because I was attached to it. | ||
| Like, I really am a fucking black spot on the lung. | ||
| Like, anything like that, it's gonna go away. | ||
| I don't think it's that. | ||
| I think it was Louis' first time at one of those things. | ||
| He didn't have the kind of control that he had when he went over and did Louis. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| The writing, though, like, they didn't really, I'm sure they fucked with him where I didn't see it, but we would run through the rehearsals, and it always seemed to pretty much, we would kind of shoot what I thought we were going to shoot. | ||
| I just, the critics, there was one critic who, like, weeks into the series went after it, and Louie always thought, like, that was one of the things that sunk us. | ||
| So, you know, it is what it is, I mean, but it was, that was one of the ones I looked back on and go, fuck, I wish that had been good for a season two. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, it's so hard to make things now. | ||
| I mean, how many comedy shows like that with comics are on the air now? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I don't watch any of them anyway. | ||
| Like, I don't watch stand-up. | ||
| I don't watch... | ||
| And it probably should, because I interview people, and I'm just such a fucking idiot. | ||
| Like, I don't watch things people... | ||
| Do you watch specials? | ||
| Like, I can't watch somebody special. | ||
| Even if I love them, I can't watch it. | ||
| I like watching people live. | ||
| I do like watching people in the club. | ||
| I do that. | ||
| I very rarely sit down and watch a special. | ||
| If one of my friends puts something out and he asks me to watch something, I'll watch something. | ||
| But most of the time, I like seeing comedy. | ||
| I mean, I'm very fortunate. | ||
| I get to see some of the best comics live on the spot. | ||
| So I just like doing that. | ||
| Yeah, I get, even if I'm walking through and I see Colin on stage, I'll watch or tell, like in the cell you see such great comedians. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But the idea of actually just watching somebody, I just, I guess because I'm also like everybody else, clip-based. | ||
| It's all fucking a minute or two minutes and I run out of patience with something. | ||
| I also want to see things I wish I would have thought of. | ||
| Oh yeah, that's true too. | ||
| And when you're entertaining yourself, what do you entertain yourself with? | ||
| Is it movies? | ||
| Like what do you... | ||
| We go through, I watch a lot of TV with Nicki, so it's like, we're going through a Sopranos watch-through now. | ||
| You re-watched it? | ||
| A re-watch of Sopranos, yeah. | ||
| That's a good move. | ||
| Yeah, it's just- I probably forgot most of it. | ||
| I did forget most of it, and we interviewed, who did I interview recently? | ||
| It was Robert Eiler and Jamie Lynn Siegler, they're doing a podcast together. | ||
| So I was interviewing them, I'm like, fuck, I forgot how great this show was, let's just start it over and watch it. | ||
| But it's most of the shit people do. | ||
| I'm watching people climb buildings, free climbers, like these fucking maniacs that climb buildings. | ||
| I'm afraid I'll hide. | ||
| Did you ever watch those guys? | ||
| Yeah, it just freaks me out. | ||
| Alain Robert, I think his name, he's the French Spider-Man who kind of started all that shit. | ||
| Free climbing with no equipment. | ||
| A building. | ||
| A skyscraper. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| 100 stories. | ||
| Horrifying. | ||
| They always have these helmet cams on. | ||
| It really bothers me. | ||
| Yeah, that drives me nuts. | ||
| I can't imagine why you would do that. | ||
| Or I'll watch bee videos, like hornet's nests. | ||
| What is it like when it gets up there and the wind starts blowing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Horrible. | |
| I'm sure it's fucking terrible, but I can't get through the videos. | ||
| I have to stop watching. | ||
| I bet that wind can get under your stomach. | ||
| Dude, he just put one up where he showed himself on a building fighting the wind. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And he's holding on and you can see... | ||
| Where is that? | ||
| Put that up. | ||
| If you go to Alain Robert, A-L-A-I-N, I think his Instagram showed it, where he's very close to the top of the building and you can see the wind. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Do you see it? | ||
| I'm just laughing at his reaction. | ||
| Are you afraid of heights? | ||
| Oh yeah, me too. | ||
| I'm terrified. | ||
| I'm afraid of also doing something stupid like this. | ||
| That's what I'm afraid of. | ||
| Because I think my brain is the kind of brain that would be like, I think I can climb that. | ||
| You know? | ||
| That a person who gets good at climbing would want to climb a building like that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I could see myself in another life being that stupid. | ||
| There's also... | ||
| Oh, yeah, there is. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Fighting against the windstorm, it says. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Are you fucking kidding me? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Doesn't that look helpless? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Listen to the wind. | ||
| Oh, fuck, man. | ||
| Oh, fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| Jesus Christ, man. | ||
| Yeah, it's hard to watch. | ||
| All of his videos are like that. | ||
| You see how close he is to the top? | ||
| That gets me, dude. | ||
| That makes my fucking hand sweat. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| I can't get through these videos usually. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| Get down! | ||
| Get down! | ||
| Don't just stand up there when you get to the top. | ||
| Imagine if the wind caught him. | ||
| There's one he did where he gets close to the rooftop and then he can't get over it. | ||
| The tip top of it he can't get over. | ||
| He has to climb back down the building. | ||
| No, no, no he doesn't. | ||
| Did you see the Burj Khalifa one on the top left? | ||
| Where he's standing on top of the... | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| What is he doing? | ||
| What are you doing up there, buddy? | ||
| Get down. | ||
| Get down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hey Habibi, come to Dubai. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know what that means either. | ||
| Scroll down a little bit. | ||
| There was some workout that he was doing where he's hanging. | ||
| I think that's his house. | ||
| Let me see what that is. | ||
| What is he doing here? | ||
| Oh, wow, dude. | ||
| So he's got like freak control of his body. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| He's hanging on with like one finger. | ||
| He's got like finger holes. | ||
| Yeah, doing pull-ups. | ||
| He's doing a one finger pull-up. | ||
| Oh my god, that's insane. | ||
| Yeah, terrifying. | ||
| It says for 50 years. | ||
| It says soon there will be 50 years that I've been climbing free solo. | ||
| Some people say that it's crazy as far as I'm concerned. | ||
| I've been living my dreams all along and potentially assuming the potential outcome. | ||
| The potential outcome. | ||
| Imagine just thinking about it that way. | ||
| The potential outcome of you falling to your death. | ||
| I hate when he turns around. | ||
| Sometimes he turns around and looks down. | ||
| Yeah, I hate that. | ||
| Yeah, it's hard. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| Get it off the screen. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| It's hard to look at. | ||
| Yeah, but that's what I do. | ||
| I watch guys like that. | ||
| And there's a lot of guys that are following in his footsteps now, but it's those type of things. | ||
| A lot of it's the helmet cam. | ||
| Didn't some guy fall recently? | ||
| He was doing parkour, doing backflips on top of a building and he fell? | ||
| Yes, and there's also footage of another guy falling. | ||
| I think he was a Chinese climber and he was on the 60th floor. | ||
| You don't see them splat, but you see him. | ||
| He had the camera set up, and he's hanging on the top, and he's trying to climb. | ||
| Yeah, and he can't make it up. | ||
| He can't make it up, and he just lets go. | ||
| And they said he was on the 60th floor. | ||
| But that's the feeling that looks so helpless, is hanging on to the top and trying to get your feet going. | ||
| And that's exactly how it happens. | ||
| Yeah, but you don't skydive or any of that stuff? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I hate heights. | ||
| Hate them. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Of no desire. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wish I wasn't afraid of it though. | ||
| Brian Redband's dad worked in this office and this lady was always trying to get him to skydive with him and then one day he goes in the office and she's not there. | ||
| Parachute didn't open up. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Yeah, good for him not going. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Good for him saying no. | ||
| I think I fucked that story up. | ||
| No, I mean it's... | ||
| Is that right? | ||
| Was it a lady that he worked with? | ||
| That's it, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it terrifies me. | ||
| Even flying, when I was coming here, I'm such a fucking idiot. | ||
| I checked the weather reports to see how bumpy the flight might be. | ||
| I'm really annoying. | ||
| They said high winds, and I'm like, it's going to be a bad flight, and for two days I'm panicking before about the fucking wind. | ||
| So yeah, the height thing is really, it's a paralyzing fear. | ||
| Yeah, because you know that if you make a mistake, you'll die. | ||
| And these people fight that fear and climb. | ||
| Like, Alex Honnold is one of the oddest guys I think I've ever met. | ||
| Because he does that all the time in these mountains. | ||
| He's crazy, you know, like, where the angle is going backwards. | ||
| And he's got to climb a thousand feet while just kind of hanging on with his feet and toes. | ||
| Does he use equipment or does he free climb? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Not only Free Solo, the film's called Free Solo, that documentary on him. | ||
| Yeah, he climbed like that 3,000 foot one. | ||
| I think I saw some of that. | ||
| Yeah, he's climbed a lot of them all over the world. | ||
| But it's just the act of doing that, the act of just being involved in risking your life and just climbing all the time, it's just... | ||
| Did you ever watch The Alpinist? | ||
| No. | ||
| That documentary? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It's about this kid who was like the goat of these guys. | ||
| And it got to the point for him where just regular free solo climbing on mountains wasn't scary enough. | ||
| So he starts ice climbing. | ||
| So what he's doing is climbing up the side of, like, icicles hanging off the side of a mountain, and he's doing it with an ice axe. | ||
| So he's pulling himself up with ice axes. | ||
| Because, like, regular climbing doesn't freak him out enough. | ||
| Now he's got an ice axe his way up the... | ||
| I mean, so this ice is hanging off the mountain, okay? | ||
| So you have this cliff face right here, and then you have all this space. | ||
| And then you have the ice... | ||
| Thousands of feet hanging down above the ground. | ||
| And he's digging into this ice and hoping it hangs on there while he's climbing his way. | ||
| You gotta see it. | ||
| You wanna freak out? | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| This guy was out of his fucking mind. | ||
| It is crazy what people have to do to feel like they're upping the last time. | ||
| Like that stuff. | ||
| That's what he would climb. | ||
| Did you see the icicles? | ||
| Wherever you found it. | ||
| I think it was early in the beginning where they showed the icicles. | ||
| But this guy would make his way with... | ||
| Just Google his name. | ||
| I know there's really good... | ||
| Of course, I played the trailer of the movie. | ||
| It doesn't show any of the stuff you're talking about. | ||
| This is the trailer, right? | ||
| Is he dead or alive? | ||
| He died. | ||
| He died doing that actual thing. | ||
| He got caught in an avalanche. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| How about he didn't fall? | ||
| He just got... | ||
| No, he just got... | ||
| That's it. | ||
| So that's it right there. | ||
| That's how you climb. | ||
| That kind of shit. | ||
| And you see how he just did it with the ice axes? | ||
| That's how you do it. | ||
| He climb icicles. | ||
| Because like regular climbing rocks got boring. | ||
| And if you talk to psychologists that really understand the human mind, there's like a thing that these, this is like the theory, that some of these people that do this kind of stuff, like look at that, look how insane that is. | ||
| They don't feel normal. | ||
| So in order to feel something, they really have to do that. | ||
| They really have to do something that would be absolutely paralyzingly terrifying to you or me. | ||
| I think that... | ||
| I might be fucking up the phrase. | ||
| Tyson talked about something about, I guess, when he was doing drugs or medicine. | ||
| He said the baseline normal, I think, was the term he used. | ||
| It was something about what it takes to get just to feel zero. | ||
| Like, just to feel, okay, I'm regular. | ||
| And whatever, if you're addicted to something, adrenaline, whatever it is, we all have that. | ||
| For me, it would be... | ||
| Porn or set like you I mean like it took so long or so many different things to just get to that feeling like I'm starting to feel high from this I'm starting to feel yeah like baseline normal is a good way to put that it's a good way to put like one of the conversations that I We were having the other day in the green room was how fun it is to be able to talk to people that you just want to have fun with Just like comics you could say anything to them. | ||
| Everyone's laughing. | ||
| Everyone's shit on everybody We're all cracking up and it's all with love And that's our baseline normal. | ||
| So if you get the people that are used to what we have as baseline normal and you put them in some stuffy office environment, It's going to be a real problem for us. | ||
| We're going to feel super constrained and we're going to feel like shit. | ||
| And people who see it a lot of times think you're being mean to each other. | ||
| And it's like, no, you have an understanding that this is how we... | ||
| Tough crowd. | ||
| It's like sparring with somebody. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's not hurting them. | ||
| It's you're throwing punches at a person who's also throwing them back at you. | ||
| Yeah, tough crowd is a great example. | ||
| Keith Robinson. | ||
| Keith Robinson's had two strokes. | ||
| And I went and watched him. | ||
| His special is fucking amazing. | ||
| He shot a Netflix special. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| And it was really great. | ||
| But Keith doesn't expect an ounce of sympathy from people. | ||
| Nobody treats him any differently. | ||
| The stroke is just one more thing we make fun of and he's the same guy he's always been. | ||
| And anybody on the outside would see that and go, you guys are mean to each other. | ||
| But if we were all of a sudden to start talking to Keith differently and trying to kid glove him, he would fucking hate it. | ||
| It would be uncomfortable and he would feel like, I'm not a damaged mental person. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I'm the same guy. | ||
| So yeah, people see that sometimes they don't understand that we really do love each other like we're just being dicks because that's what makes us laugh Yeah, and it's also the way we feed off each other We spar and it gets everybody better too like when someone shits on you with a really good zinger You know, oh you get home. | ||
| You're like god damn. | ||
| He got me good one Yeah, how did I fuck I gotta I gotta write better lines. | ||
| I gotta come up with some better lines I gotta come up with some more funny things to say about him Let me think what's fucked up about the way he dresses, the way he talks, and you know what annoys me about you? | ||
| And then you're going out, and they're both smiling. | ||
| Everyone's smiling. | ||
| Everyone's laughing. | ||
| And it also, but it keeps you honest, too. | ||
| Like, Colin is really good at that. | ||
| Like, we'll be at the cellar sometimes, and I'll say something that I think makes sense. | ||
| And he'll go, what are you, my fucking aunt? | ||
| And I'm like, oh, God, he's right. | ||
| Like, it was an aunt thing that I said, and you can either get annoyed at it, Or you can just acknowledge, like, wow, that really was kind of a douchey old lady thing I just said, and just take it. | ||
| Well, also, even if it wasn't, the fact that someone could make fun of it, you should think that's funny. | ||
| Even though, well, that's not what I meant. | ||
| But that is funny. | ||
| Yeah, he's annoying when he calls you out in front of people who aren't comics. | ||
| He's done that to me too, this fucking asshole on Whole Foods one time. | ||
| Somebody said something, like the cashier said something. | ||
| I go, oh, no worries. | ||
| And he goes, does it annoy you that he's talking like an Australian tour guide? | ||
| And she laughs at me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I was like, fucking shut up. | |
| Because it's embarrassing because if he said it to another comic, I wouldn't care. | ||
| But this is just some fucking lady who really thought it was funny. | ||
| And obviously I did sound like that, but... | ||
| It makes you almost hyper aware of everything you say. | ||
| And that's our baseline normal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I can't function with that. | ||
| I can't be in a relationship with someone who isn't like that or who doesn't appreciate that. | ||
| It's not fun. | ||
| It's not fun. | ||
| And if you always have to watch what you're saying or you're always worried I'm going to upset them by being too harsh or they're too fragile. | ||
| Now imagine that same sort of philosophy, that same mindset, and then you apply it to work. | ||
| So work, when you have to work somewhere, most of the time you don't get to choose the people you work with. | ||
| You work with the people who also work at the place you work. | ||
| And then you have to deal with all these fucking bullshit sensitivities that they might be bringing to the table. | ||
| Yeah, and there's also a penalty in those situations where if you say something people don't like, they go to human resources. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Which nothing destroys fun like fucking human resources. | ||
| Especially when their job is only to make sure the company doesn't get sued. | ||
| Yep, that's it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's all that lawsuits. | ||
| That really is. | ||
| I mean, even at work, like, you know, on the air, we can say what we want. | ||
| They never fuck with us. | ||
| But I don't talk to anybody in the office. | ||
| I mean, I don't fucking, hi, hello, and keep walking. | ||
| I don't want any miscommunications, any misinterpretations. | ||
| Or any opportunity for someone to just be deceitful. | ||
| Someone to pretend that you said something. | ||
| Or... | ||
| Lock you into some sort of a weird deal. | ||
| What's easier? | ||
| I know people that have had to do that where it's easier to pay someone than it is to Yeah, deal with the ramifications of being falsely charged. | ||
| Yeah, whatever. | ||
| Yeah, or just yeah, he said this to me and it's like how do I prove that I didn't say that right? | ||
| There's no Yeah, people that make money suing companies to they it's like it's a real good way to go and I got sued. | ||
| I mean, it's why I have E&O insurance, because I got fucking sued for half a million dollars. | ||
| It was that fucking for defamation, because I shit on that lawyer on the air when he called in. | ||
| He was like the guy's right activist, and he called up, and I insulted him for an hour, and I implied that he fucked chickens. | ||
| It was funny. | ||
| I remember saying, he sued me for defamation, and I remember saying, this guy wants to kill me. | ||
| But he can't, so he's getting me legally. | ||
| Because we met once. | ||
| He thought I wanted to settle with him. | ||
| Because he amended his complaint. | ||
| He said that I was having people send him anthrax or white powder, implying it was anthrax. | ||
| It was fucking crazy. | ||
| So I had him meet in my lawyer's office just to tell him, like, dude, that's insane. | ||
| I thought, like, it's two people. | ||
| But he thought I was going to settle. | ||
| So we shook hands and met. | ||
| He was just like a little fishy, weird guy. | ||
| And then he just continued to sue me. | ||
| And it finally went away. | ||
| I had a great lawyer. | ||
| And in court, eight months later, or nine months later, the judge didn't like him. | ||
| And my attorney started reading things I said to him on the air. | ||
| And all the other lawyers in the court started laughing. | ||
| And all those people laughing at him. | ||
| Got him to go, oh, Your Honor, we can settle this. | ||
| So they went in the back and that was it. | ||
| No money was paid. | ||
| It was just dropped. | ||
| Oh, he just didn't want to be mocked. | ||
| He didn't want to be mocked. | ||
| And he wrote like this manifesto and he mentioned me in it. | ||
| And that guy, over the fucking pandemic, dressed up like a FedEx worker and went to a judge's house and shot her son and killed him. | ||
| That was the guy? | ||
| That's the same guy, Roy Denhollander. | ||
| That was the guy that sued you? | ||
| That's the guy that sued me. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| And he went to... | ||
| He was going to, I think, murder Sonia Sotomayor, I think her name is, the Supreme Court Justice, and they said he might have killed somebody else in L.A. They don't know. | ||
| But yeah, he was going to shoot her, and her son answered the door. | ||
| Holy shit, dude. | ||
| Yeah, but I knew that guy... | ||
| It was more than a lawsuit. | ||
| Because he had challenged me to a duel. | ||
| I didn't tell you. | ||
| On the air, he goes, do you want to go to South America and have a duel? | ||
| Like, it was really bizarre that he chose... | ||
| Like one of those 10 paces things? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Like, it was so nuts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| And then he started wanting to come back in studio and fight us. | ||
| He's like, it'll just be me against the three hosts fighting. | ||
| All these crazy messages. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I can't believe that was the guy. | ||
| I never knew that. | ||
| That's the guy. | ||
| Yeah, so when that type of shit happens, it does change you a little bit. | ||
| You're like, wow, that guy was right. | ||
| That guy literally wanted to murder me. | ||
| It wasn't me being crazy or paranoid. | ||
| And most people, from what I heard, he had cancer. | ||
| They said he had incurable stage 4 cancer, and then he wound up doing that, and then he just blew his brains out and shot himself. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So they never got him. | ||
| He did it to himself. | ||
| He killed himself. | ||
| Yeah, I think the cops were coming to get him, and he killed himself. | ||
| So, yeah, that could have been a lot worse. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| And I look back on that, and I also feel good about myself, like, hey, you read this guy right. | ||
| Like, I read what type of person he was. | ||
| Like, you know, you get pretty good instincts. | ||
| Like, if somebody's heckling you, you understand. | ||
| Is this guy having fun? | ||
| Or is this guy trying to be a piece of shit because he resents me? | ||
| You learn pretty quickly to read motives. | ||
| Maybe it's just an animal gut instinct, but I'm like, this guy's a fucking problem. | ||
| So yeah, I got very lucky with that, that it never got to that. | ||
| I wonder how much you having him humiliated ramped up all of his anger and led to him murdering people. | ||
| You know, I don't know, because it was years later, and it was also, he had this thing with women. | ||
| Like, I originally, we were going to interview him because he was suing Colombia because of their guys' studies, or women's studies, sorry. | ||
| And so I was like, look, I don't like anything that's progressive and exclusive by nature. | ||
| Like, you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, hey, how come they're not doing guys' studies? | ||
| So I'm like, let's see what... | ||
| But then it became apparent he just sues women. | ||
| So then we started to make fun of him. | ||
| Because it wasn't the principle of Columbia doing this. | ||
| It was like, you just have a fucking hard-on and want to sue women. | ||
| So then we kind of made fun of him. | ||
| And it got ugly and I was just being a dick like I was on the air. | ||
| I think he had so many of these problems, and it was much more about women than anything I said to him. | ||
| My humiliation of him was years earlier, but I do think I humiliated him, and he really wanted to. | ||
| My attorney at the time, his name was Tom Ferber, he was a great lawyer, and my law firm hated him so much, they retroactively knocked down what they were charging me. | ||
| They go, this guy's such a bad guy that we're gonna charge you less and we're gonna make it retroactive. | ||
| Like they were so offended by what he was doing as an attorney. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| So I got lucky with really good people and they really took good care of me. | ||
| You also got lucky that you caught him before the cancer. | ||
| Yes, 100%. | ||
| 100% because, again, do I think he would have hunted me down and killed? | ||
| No, I think the judge for him was a bigger one. | ||
| But, I mean, I'm sure it would have felt good for him if he could have. | ||
| Especially if he was on a run. | ||
| So let me stop by the radio station. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And oddly enough, it happened in the town I grew up in, which was, again, a pure coincidence. | ||
| But it happened in North Brunswick. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He went to kill her and just, unfortunately, her son answered the door. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| Yeah, I've gotten so many threats over the years. | ||
| And legit, radio, podcasting, you don't see who... | ||
| It's not like live stand-up. | ||
| There's a lot of people that you don't see. | ||
| And I used to answer them. | ||
| I have hundreds of fucking hate mail messages. | ||
| And I used to go back and forth with people. | ||
| And I eventually stopped. | ||
| Because then people, like, I had a couple people talking about, you better watch your back, or talking about getting shot, and they were using their real names. | ||
| I'm like, alright, if this guy's using his real name, he's a fucking, there's something wrong with him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And I don't know what he looks like, and he knows what I look like. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I eventually stopped reading it or responding to it, because... | ||
| The thing about the ONA show, though, it was a very aggressive show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And aggressive in shitting on people, aggressive in attacking people, and the weaponization of the pests... | ||
| Yeah, and they kind of did it on their own, and we enjoyed it, because they were really funny. | ||
| Like, they would do some really funny shit, like we would do jock-tobers, and just torture another- We should tell everybody what the pests are in the audience. | ||
| Oh, they were just these O&A fans that were rabid. | ||
| Really connected, very committed fans. | ||
| Yeah, and Pest was just this dumb affectionate because they were just pests. | ||
| They would just annoy people. | ||
| And we would take over and just fuck with another radio show. | ||
| It would only happen for a day, though. | ||
| You'd be in and out for a day. | ||
| They'd put all these horrible things on their Facebook page. | ||
| The Facebook page would shut down. | ||
| And then the next day, it would be another show. | ||
| Well, John Tober was just making fun of corny radio guys. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I actually, it's funny, I had to go on, because, you know, I had the advantage of doing radio, but also of going on the road. | ||
| And I had been on shows, and they're like, you know you Jocktobered us. | ||
| So I had to go and face some of these fucking people. | ||
| And it's embarrassing. | ||
| It's embarrassing. | ||
| It's like being overheard talking shit, but... | ||
| What did you say to them when you were in the studio? | ||
| You know, they were cooler with it than I would have thought. | ||
| And there was one time in Boston, we had really been brutal to this show. | ||
| What show was it? | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| It's been years ago. | ||
| I don't remember the show. | ||
| I didn't remember the Jocktobering. | ||
| But Kenny comes out and I was waiting to do a show and he goes, hey, you Jocktobered these people and they want to know if you have the guts to come in studio. | ||
| And I'm like, yeah. | ||
| So I went right in because you have to. | ||
| I would rather just face it. | ||
| And then we kind of talked about it, and it was okay. | ||
| It wasn't as aggressive. | ||
| I think they were surprised that I came in. | ||
| And whenever you talk to someone one-on-one, it humanizes them a little bit. | ||
| Like, it's harder to totally dismiss somebody when you're actually talking to them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because you realize, like, eh... | ||
| They're just making a living doing radio, and they look at me like he's just a stupid fucking comic making fun of something. | ||
| So we wound up getting along, and it was okay. | ||
| But yeah, I had to deal with that on the road. | ||
| I went on a few shows that we fought with, like Lex and Terry in Dallas. | ||
| They were really brutal, those guys. | ||
| They were harsh. | ||
| We had nasty fights with them. | ||
| And then eventually, I kind of made up, and I went on their show. | ||
| It was fun. | ||
| Are any of those shows still around? | ||
| How many of those radio shows? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I know Bubba's still around. | ||
| He's doing something. | ||
| I don't know if Lex and Terry are. | ||
| Toucher and Rich just broke up. | ||
| But they were friends. | ||
| They were one of those shows that made it through all these. | ||
| What about Bob and Dom? | ||
| One of them died. | ||
| Oh, which one? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I've only done this show once or twice, and I've been in studio once or twice. | ||
| I think one of them passed away, and I don't know which one. | ||
| They were the show to get on. | ||
| They were. | ||
| If you wanted to be big in the Midwest you wanted to get on the Bob and Tom show. | ||
| Yeah, Larry the Cable Guy, all these guys that they made. | ||
| I mean, radio, what it did for people for years... | ||
| Now, no one cares if you're on the radio. | ||
| Like, the regular radio doesn't do shit for people anymore. | ||
| Unless few shows and a few markets can help. | ||
| Like, Johnny Dare in Kansas City was always a great show to go on because he would help you sell tickets. | ||
| But most of those shows are gone. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I haven't been out there in so many years. | ||
| The weird ones for me now is, you know, whenever you... | ||
| Usually I use Apple CarPlay in my car. | ||
| But if I don't have it plugged in or if I forget my phone or something like that, I'm like, let me see what's on the radio. | ||
| And I'll press AM talk radio. | ||
| And I'll just scroll until I find either someone talking about Jesus or someone talking about Trump. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's exactly what it is. | ||
| There's nothing funny. | ||
| Or there's very few funny shows anymore because everyone's so afraid of getting in trouble. | ||
| It's worse than it's ever been. | ||
| They're just trying to catch people slipping. | ||
| Trying to catch people saying something they can get them in trouble for. | ||
| Yeah, we got out just in time. | ||
| I mean, honestly, when we got fired in 2002, again, it turned out to be a blessing. | ||
| When you're doing Sirius, do they tell you how many people listen? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's a negotiation strength for them, but they don't. | ||
| It's like Netflix won't tell you how many people have watched your special. | ||
| But there's no one that you know that's inside? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I've wanted to know, and I guess people, they said that Sam and I do really well on the, like for them, On Demand is very big. | ||
| Their app is very big. | ||
| And they said we do better than most people at the company on that app. | ||
| And they're really happy with it. | ||
| So the app, it's just like having Spotify or something like that. | ||
| You just press and you can get the show whenever you want. | ||
| Yeah, and you can listen to it and replay. | ||
| So it's essentially a podcast just released through the app. | ||
| Through the app. | ||
| And do you have to pay for that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, I think the app is free. | ||
| I don't listen to my own show, much less anything else on there. | ||
| But the show, you have to pay for SiriusXM. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It's just SiriusXM. | ||
| Sirius. | ||
| No, Sirius XM Pandora now. | ||
| Oh, is it? | ||
| Yeah, Sirius XM Pandora. | ||
| Oh, so I thought they got rid of the XM. Is it Pandora? | ||
| Yeah, they own Pandora, for sure. | ||
| Oh, you do? | ||
| Yeah, no, Sirius XM is still... | ||
| And they just added something else, too. | ||
| I should probably know because I work there, but I really don't. | ||
| How much longer do you think Howard's going to do it? | ||
| I don't know because I don't know him. | ||
| Like, I've met him. | ||
| I've never really interacted with Howard other than hello and goodbye. | ||
| Isn't that weird? | ||
| Yeah, same building same building, but he go in the studio. | ||
| I don't think he's been there for a long time I think he broadcasts from home like he's got his own studio But even when he was in I wouldn't see him because I came in I would see Artie like Artie Lang and I would bump into each other in the elevator all the time and I hated getting up and which would drive me crazy like Artie does heroin and he and I are getting here at the same time like he would he would fucking be there with the sunglasses on in the elevator going up to work So I bumped into Artie all the time, but Howard I've probably seen two or three times in all those years. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Yeah, I never did his show because it was Opie and Anthony, and when we were off the air, I was an O&A guy, so I never tried to get on. | ||
| I just always wondered, what motivates him? | ||
| Does he want to keep doing it? | ||
| And doing it from home? | ||
| You get to a certain point in time where the only way you feel like you're connecting with people is if you do that. | ||
| That would be very odd. | ||
| If you're just doing it from your home and you're not going out, being out with people, and your only connection to the world is through a microphone. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It can get very odd. | ||
| I guess he's interviewing people he wants to talk to. | ||
| I guess at this point he just wants to do certain interviews. | ||
| Again, people have said his show changed a lot, but I was never a listener. | ||
| I don't listen to anything. | ||
| It definitely changed a lot, but you still got to give the guy props for what he did. | ||
| Because in the beginning, there was no one like him. | ||
| And he fought the government. | ||
| They fucking fined him. | ||
| And he was doing this on the air, on regular radio, and everybody was tuning in to see what the wildest shit this guy was going to say. | ||
| And there was no one that had done that before. | ||
| And it opened up the door for all of us. | ||
| It definitely opened up the door for ONA. It made ONA more... | ||
| It greased the wheels for ONA. Although ONA was a different thing. | ||
| It was more of a hang. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But they admit that Howard was a huge influence on him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| He was an influence on everybody. | ||
| And then from there, it goes on to podcasts. | ||
| And, you know, it's not possible without Howard Stern. | ||
| It's a totally different path to entertainment talking because this is like that kind of just having a conversation with someone that really didn't exist in that form before where you heard it for long periods of time with comedians. | ||
| Like, who else had done that? | ||
| Yeah, at least where it was entertaining and funny and like you'd go into areas that like regular interviews weren't going into. | ||
| Oh, we had regular shows where girls would ride on a Sibian. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, or play with themselves. | ||
| Yeah, all the time. | ||
| Oh, and they had girls would talk in and they would have them rub the phone on their pussy and try to guess what their pubic hair looked like. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| They had like three different categories of like full bush, landing strip, or bald pussy, which they called the Jambonet, I think. | ||
| So yeah, they would have people just call up and rub the phone on their pussies. | ||
| You know, it was just, it was fun. | ||
| And then it became whip them out Wednesdays, where Wednesdays girls would pull their tits out. | ||
| Yeah, and flash. | ||
| That was before I got there, they came up. | ||
| I think Opie came up with that before I arrived. | ||
| Like, that was something that was already a staple by the time I showed up. | ||
| Because that was the whole thing with O&A. They would have stickers, and the stickers would say wow on it. | ||
| Yeah, and you'd see them everywhere. | ||
| Oh yeah, and if someone had a sticker on their car, and girls drove by, they would honk their horn and pull their tits out. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, and we would get calls on Wednesday. | ||
| Hey, some girl just showed me her tits. | ||
| It was really great. | ||
| I unfortunately did not get to see many driving, but I had to hear from happy listeners. | ||
| But it was that kind of a show that was like a welcome break from all the fake bullshit that you would hear in most media. | ||
| Yeah, and there was no real like you could say anything you wanted because it was only it was a subscription service And then our show was a subscription on top of that like we went on XM There was a $2 fee additionally to get Opie and Anthony like it wasn't even on the regular we fought for a year to get on the regular Platform they kept Opie and Anthony separated. | ||
| Is that because they were scared of you guys? | ||
| I think so, and they also wanted to have that thing, hey, you paid the $2, that's what I think. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| This is what you asked for. | ||
| This is what you asked for. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But eventually we got on the regular. | ||
| And I'll say this for serious, they don't ever fuck with us on what to talk about, what not to talk about. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| Yeah, they never give us content problems. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| You know, we can't really have nudity in the studio anymore, but I mean... | ||
| Most companies are probably not letting you do that. | ||
| That's a lawsuit thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's also been done so many times. | ||
| Like, what are we going to do? | ||
| Look at a pair of tits? | ||
| Like, who cares? | ||
| Enough. | ||
| I put my own on. | ||
| Fucking fat fuck. | ||
| Can't stop. | ||
| I'm trying to lose weight again. | ||
| I got so self-conscious. | ||
| I just fattened up. | ||
| That's married life. | ||
| You're home. | ||
| What are you trying to do to lose weight? | ||
| Eating better. | ||
| I've been going to Henzo's for like seven months now. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| And that's great exercise. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Jiu-jitsu, Muay Thai, I go four days a week. | ||
| You're doing Muay Thai, too? | ||
| I do two days of each a week. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| Jiu-jitsu is great, but I want to be able to get to somebody or handle somebody throwing a punch. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| I do mostly privates because the schedule of classes doesn't work with my schedule. | ||
| I train with a guy named Mike Jaramillo who's a high-level black belt. | ||
| He has me rolling with this blue belt named Martin. | ||
| It's fucking great, dude. | ||
| It's very addicting. | ||
| I love doing it. | ||
| And it's exhausting. | ||
| It's more tiring than anything I've ever done in my life. | ||
| That's great to hear, man. | ||
| I'm excited that you're doing that. | ||
| But I'm never going to compete. | ||
| I literally just don't want to get my ass kicked in a movie theater. | ||
| That's all I'm worried about is getting beaten up in a fucking movie theater. | ||
| Well, it's always good to learn how to fight. | ||
| It's never a bad thing to know how to fight. | ||
| It doesn't mean you're going to use it. | ||
| It doesn't mean you're going to hurt anybody. | ||
| I never have. | ||
| But it's just a good thing to know. | ||
| Yeah, you look at people differently. | ||
| Again, I'm not overconfident because I'm not looking for a fight, but when there's a disruption or a ruckus, you're less concerned about what happens if this comes this way. | ||
| You at least feel like, well, at least I would have an answer that I wouldn't have had seven or eight months ago. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| Yeah, you want to know what to do instead of just to freeze up. | ||
| One of the best things about jiu-jitsu is when you are rolling, when you're sparring, you're essentially going full speed, right? | ||
| You go full speed up into the point where you lock in the choke and then or an arm bar or a knee bar, whatever it is, and then you control because you don't want to hurt each other. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But the point is you're scrambling at essentially a hundred percent until you get to that position. | ||
| Not always. | ||
| Sometimes you're flowing, and sometimes you're just trying to work on defense, and you're letting someone go around you. | ||
| But what you're accustomed to doing is resisting someone's full strength. | ||
| You get accustomed to doing that. | ||
| And it becomes very normal. | ||
| So if someone grabs me out of nowhere, if someone grabs me, it's a total normal thing for me to feel. | ||
| Someone the other day, I think it was Brian Moses, Grabbed me from behind and put his arm around my neck when I was in the green room and I tucked my chin. | ||
| Like instantly tucked my chin. | ||
| I instantly went like this. | ||
| It's like it's built in. | ||
| It's entirely built in. | ||
| I feel an arm right here. | ||
| My chin tucks. | ||
| I turn away and I grab it. | ||
| I'm like, oh, hey, what's up? | ||
| It's in my central nervous system. | ||
| Whereas for a person who's never trained, if someone grabs you, you have to think, what do I do? | ||
| Now I have to grab this. | ||
| By then, it's too late. | ||
| Yeah, there are certain things I don't think about, but I'm not there yet. | ||
| The idea of it becoming a reaction, that's what I want to get to. | ||
| For certain things it is, but if I'm trying to throw a triangle, I'm like, right arm through, right leg, left, right fucks me up a lot. | ||
| Do you drill a lot? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, and we do a lot of drilling, and that's why he'll let me drill from the right side, he'll let me drill from the left side. | ||
| Drilling is everything. | ||
| People don't like to drill because it's tedious, and they like to spar because it's fun. | ||
| And Eddie Bravo used to always explain this to me. | ||
| It's like, you know, everybody loves to spar because that's like you're playing the game. | ||
| You're playing a video game. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| To get good at that game, you gotta do the tedious stuff. | ||
| And so Eddie and I would drill all the time. | ||
| He would come over to my house and I had mats in my garage. | ||
| And when I first started, I was like a blue belt and Eddie, I think he was a brown, he was either purple or brown at the time. | ||
| And he would come over my place and we would just drill for hours. | ||
| And my game jumped up so much. | ||
| My game from blue belt to purple belt jumped so much. | ||
| And it was all just because I was drilling, like, all the time. | ||
| Constant drilling. | ||
| Yeah, he does it a lot. | ||
| Mike will have us do the same thing over and over and over and I'll get tired. | ||
| For me, the exhaustion. | ||
| And he'll be like, you can go slow, but you can't stop. | ||
| Train yourself to move. | ||
| Train yourself to move when you're tired. | ||
| Does your nose work? | ||
| My nose sucks. | ||
| It's better than it was. | ||
| Because I know we had talked before, you were thinking about getting the operation. | ||
| Oh, I've gotten two. | ||
| You got two? | ||
| Yeah, and it's like, it's still, it's also my lungs and the fact that I'm 55. Like, you know, this guy I'm rolling with is a blue belt who moves very quick. | ||
| Like, he's really hard to hold when he doesn't want to be held. | ||
| Like, if he's drilling, but then, like, for the last X amount of minutes, a lot of times, I go, all right, I want you to follow him. | ||
| Like, he wants me just to follow his movements. | ||
| Like, if he's getting out of things, do I know what the next thing to do is? | ||
| Like, just to kind of get me to do it without thinking. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I've surprised myself a few times where I was actually able to see what he's doing. | ||
| But I'm under no illusion that I can tap a bluebell. | ||
| Like, you know. | ||
| Well, it's a language. | ||
| And it's like you have to learn how to say the words before you can form sentences. | ||
| And that's what you're doing when you learn jujitsu. | ||
| And just like having a conversation with someone, when someone's moving, your reactions to their movement is based on your understanding of what could and couldn't happen. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, so it's like, it is like a language. | ||
| Jiu-jitsu is very much like a language. | ||
| And you get good at it just like you get good at a language and you have a bunch of different words at your disposal. | ||
| You understand how to put them together. | ||
| You understand how to put them together in context. | ||
| And then you react in these movements. | ||
| And you see really good guys. | ||
| It's almost like they're telepathic, like they're anticipating the other person's counter to their move and then they trap them with that and flow into the next defense of that and it's all just this whirlwind of movement that looks random unless you're educated in what they're doing and then you go, wow, that's beautiful. | ||
| Well, Mike will show things. | ||
| Again, he takes it easy on me because I'm a white belt. | ||
| But when he locks... | ||
| He'll show me things. | ||
| He knows I'm not going to compete, so more how to defend yourself in a real-life situation. | ||
| So he'll show me where to throw elbows. | ||
| If you've got a guy here, throw your knee into his face. | ||
| Things that you'll need to do in real life. | ||
| But when he locks things on, he goes, and here's how you really make this suck if you want to. | ||
| It's brutal. | ||
| It's really... | ||
| You realize how many ways there are to hurt somebody or to be hurt by somebody. | ||
| It's not just getting punched in the face. | ||
| Like, Muay Thai for me, I love because, again, my punching sucks. | ||
| My kicks are fucking, my jab is shit. | ||
| But I just want to be able to do a little bit of basic stuff if I have to do it. | ||
| But I'm never going to be great at that. | ||
| Like, I'm never going to throw kicks like fucking Wonderboy and knock somebody out. | ||
| I just want to be able to throw one if I have to get somebody away from me. | ||
| Yeah, it's just, again, it's a good thing to learn. | ||
| And wherever you are now, whatever your baseline is, if you train, you'll get better. | ||
| And you'll look back and go, oh, I remember when I used to think that I couldn't get good at this. | ||
| Now I'm pretty fucking good at it. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen some improvement in seven months. | ||
| And again, it's all, I don't care about belts. | ||
| I don't care about any of that stuff. | ||
| I just, I like doing it. | ||
| And I feel like, yeah, I'm learning something. | ||
| Because when he tells me just to follow Martin and move, I feel like, yeah, I'm actually... | ||
| Moving with him and most of the time he's getting out of it. | ||
| How much time are you spending when you're doing Muay Thai kick in a heavy bag? | ||
| Well, actually not a lot. | ||
| I kick pads and I stopped kicking probably two months ago because I really hurt my foot. | ||
| I thought I might have fractured my foot. | ||
| So I've been doing just basically punching and Thai clinch and takedowns for like the last two months to let my foot heal. | ||
| Did you hit an elbow or something? | ||
| No, I think I was just, sometimes my kicks are off, and I actually did hit an elbow one time, but I don't think that's what did it. | ||
| I think I just kicked too hard, and my foot hit the wrong part of the pad. | ||
| You know, I think that's what it was, and I just, I felt like it was fractured, so I didn't want to break it. | ||
| But no, I haven't kicked it back. | ||
| But you kept training, though. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| Find a way to work around it. | ||
| I can't stop. | ||
| I don't even go to the regular gym anymore because if I stop, I'm not going to do it. | ||
| I'm a streaky hitter. | ||
| I do really good, and when I stop, fucking forget it. | ||
| I'm not getting back into it. | ||
| Well, the cool thing about martial arts is it's a really hard workout, but it's also fun because you're learning something. | ||
| It's like you're doing a skill. | ||
| It's not just like, I'm going to get on this bike and I'm going to ride for fucking six miles on this fucking stationary bike while you're listening to a podcast. | ||
| Instead, you're learning something. | ||
| So you're not even thinking about the grind of it all. | ||
| You're just enjoying it. | ||
| Yeah, and you feel like this will come in handy in real life. | ||
| Hopefully I won't have to, but if something happens, at least this thing I'm doing will help me in a physical altercation. | ||
| If my fucking wife and I get attacked, at least I'll be able to do more than I would have been able to do. | ||
| I'm still not confident enough to have a fight with somebody. | ||
| How long have you been doing it now? | ||
| About seven months. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| You just keep doing it. | ||
| You'll get better. | ||
| Yeah, I love it. | ||
| I really... | ||
| Love it. | ||
| And you get used to the smell of a jujitsu gym pretty fast. | ||
| Yeah, it stinks. | ||
| But are you taking care of your body in terms of supplements? | ||
| I've been doing some. | ||
| Bert, actually, when I was here, I think it was the guy that you talked to, got me a bunch of supplements. | ||
| We talked about TRT, but I'm not at a point where I'm comfortable doing that. | ||
| I'm just afraid of it, I guess. | ||
| What are you afraid of? | ||
| Like, if you have a tumor, will it make that grow more? | ||
| You should talk to Brigham about that. | ||
| I don't want my balls to shrink. | ||
| He's the guy that you probably talk to. | ||
| You like your balls nice and plump? | ||
| I do. | ||
| I like my balls juicy. | ||
| A big load is my fucking calling card, Joe. | ||
| Well, there's no reason why that has to go away. | ||
| There's something called HCD. What is it called? | ||
| HCG? Human colonotropin... | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| It makes your body... | ||
| It's like a peptide that makes your body produce more testosterone. | ||
| And there's a lot of people who use that as opposed to just TRT. So instead of just... | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Human... | ||
| Chorionic gonadotropin. | ||
| That's how you say it. | ||
| So it's a hormone that can increase a person's chances of pregnancy, helps produce testosterone and sperm. | ||
| So if you're low on testosterone, you can take that. | ||
| Does it fuck up? | ||
| Can it fuck make tumors bigger or whatever? | ||
| I'm scared of cancer. | ||
| No, you shouldn't be scared of that. | ||
| You know, if you're scared of cancer, you should stop eating sugar. | ||
| Yeah, I've tried to cut a lot of it out. | ||
| Yeah, but that's the real one. | ||
| That's the real one. | ||
| There's obviously genetic factors in cancer. | ||
| There's certainly environmental factors in cancer. | ||
| Those are huge. | ||
| But there's some real connections to an overconsumption of sugar in a host of different diseases. | ||
| A diminishing of your immune system. | ||
| And most people, unfortunately, are addicted to it. | ||
| And I've got these guys at the store, or at the mothership, rather, over the last month, this month of January, we're doing Carnivore Month. | ||
| And I'm not saying, like, I am not a nutritionist, and I'm not saying that this is the best way that everyone on Earth should eat. | ||
| But what I wanted them to do, to try it for a month, if you are committing to only eating meat and eggs and fish for a month, what you are also committing to doing is not eating bread, not eating pasta, not eating bullshit, not eating cake, not eating cookies, not eating potato chips, not eating just garbage that just clogs up your body with bullshit. | ||
| And these guys are talking just in the two weeks we've been doing. | ||
| They're like, oh my god, this is incredible. | ||
| Derek was saying the other day, in the green room, he's like, I have so much energy, man. | ||
| It feels crazy. | ||
| Like, I don't need naps. | ||
| And Hasan was saying, I had an idea of what my baseline energy was, and I was so wrong. | ||
| I was always like, oh, I need a nap. | ||
| He goes, I don't ever need naps now, over two weeks. | ||
| Duncan said the same thing. | ||
| Duncan realized he has diabetes. | ||
| Type 2 diabetes from sugar. | ||
| From eating sugar. | ||
| So Duncan gets off the sugar and he calls me like two weeks later. | ||
| He's like, dude, I feel fucking amazing. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| I can't believe how good I feel. | ||
| It's really hard, especially when shit's in the house. | ||
| My wife doesn't know what's healthy. | ||
| She'll bring home cupcakes and go, they're healthy. | ||
| They're from Whole Foods. | ||
| I'm like, I can't eat that. | ||
| Do you understand? | ||
| I'm getting fat. | ||
| I can't keep doing this. | ||
| You can't outrun bad diet. | ||
| It's not just like bad diet. | ||
| I think you should think of it as poison. | ||
| I think you should think of a lot of the bullshit that people eat as a very minor, slow-acting poison. | ||
| It's not a poison that's going to take you out and kill you when you eat it. | ||
| It's a poison that if you keep eating it, it's going to diminish your robustness. | ||
| It's going to diminish your health, your metabolic strength. | ||
| All the factors that go into sleep and recovery and even cognitive function, they're all getting diminished. | ||
| Every fucking one of them. | ||
| 100% of them. | ||
| I'm so paranoid about being sick. | ||
| I go every year for scans. | ||
| I'm a claustrophobe, so it's very hard to do. | ||
| I did an MRI recently for everything. | ||
| I'm like, check the brain. | ||
| I want to check the chest, check the groin. | ||
| But I kept yelling at them to take me out. | ||
| It was really humiliating. | ||
| Yeah, I'm squeezing the thing. | ||
| I'm like, take me out! | ||
| And they would take me out and put me back in. | ||
| And they finally turned the thing around and put me in legs first because I'm so claustrophobic. | ||
| So they couldn't do the brain one. | ||
| I just couldn't get through it. | ||
| Because your head is fucking... | ||
| Yeah, I've done MRIs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| Doesn't bother you to be enclosed like that? | ||
| I just deal with it. | ||
| I can't do it. | ||
| It makes me crazy. | ||
| I have to take something. | ||
| Yeah, I don't enjoy it, but I just do it. | ||
| Did you hear about the lady who went into one? | ||
| I mean, I don't even know if this is a true story. | ||
| It might be one of those internet things. | ||
| She went into an MRI with a loaded gun, and the gun went off and shot her. | ||
| No, but why a gun? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Did she forget she had it? | ||
| It could be one of two things. | ||
| It could be a real crazy person or it could be something that someone wrote because it would be a funny scenario and they put it out on the internet and it gets a bunch of clicks because people believe things. | ||
| There was one where somebody went for an MRI and the magnet sucked all this metal stuff against it. | ||
| Yeah, I did hear about that and killed someone. | ||
| Did it kill them? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People have definitely died. | ||
| I mean, that's why they make you take all the magnets, or the metal rather, out of your, you know, you walk in with a hospital gown. | ||
| I was so annoyed. | ||
| Dude, they put music on, and I was fucking having a panic attack, so I tell the guy, put on some rock music, rock music, and this fucking guy thought I said Rocky, so all he's playing is the Rocky theme. | ||
| Dude, over and over and over. | ||
| I'm having a panic attack listening to that fucking... | ||
| Oh, it was so not helpful. | ||
| A Wisconsin woman sneaks a gun into MRI. It goes off shooting her in the buttocks. | ||
| In the process of entering the bore, the handgun was attracted to the magnet and fired a single round. | ||
| The patient received a gunshot wound to the right buttock area. | ||
| Yeah, so it's true. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| What is the point of sneaking a gun in? | ||
| Well, she wanted to fucking shoot somebody, but also needed to go to the doctor, but did want to leave her gun in the locker. | ||
| Oh, she's probably afraid they'd go through and find it. | ||
| Yeah, find her fucking pistol and walk. | ||
| She's like, I'm just gonna sneak in. | ||
| How humiliating. | ||
| Shoot yourself in the ass. | ||
| Fucking crazy lady. | ||
| Yeah, but I do it once a year. | ||
| I get so paranoid about getting sick and getting fucking cancer. | ||
| Go back, Jamie. | ||
| There's another one there. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| According to the New York Post, a Brazilian lawyer was killed in a hospital in Sao Paulo in January when a handgun he was carrying during an MRI discharged into his stomach. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Yeah, what the fuck is wrong with these people? | ||
| Like, what's the purpose of bringing a gun into a place like that? | ||
| This other lady, a nurse, was crushed when she was trapped between an MRI and a hospital bed drawn to the machine. | ||
| I think that's the one I'm thinking of. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, it really is. | ||
| You figure they have a better system than fucking magnets at this point. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Well, that was always my argument against aliens. | ||
| Like, there was, oh, they're doing an anal probe. | ||
| I'm like, don't they have MRIs? | ||
| Right. | ||
| They have to stick their finger up your ass. | ||
| Like, what are they doing? | ||
| Dude, I'm trying. | ||
| I'm trying to believe. | ||
| I want to believe in UFOs so bad, but every time I get close, you know, I watch a video of someone debunking it, and I just can't. | ||
| I want to see one thing that makes me go, fuck, I can't find an explanation for that. | ||
| I am less likely to believe with every new thing they tell us. | ||
| In aliens or against them? | ||
| Well... | ||
| In the existence of them, I'm 100% convinced. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 100% convinced that in the greater universe, which is almost impossible to imagine how big it is, that there's other forms of life. | ||
| I believe that 100%. | ||
| But I also think that if you're getting some release from the Pentagon that says there's off-world crafts, UFOs, unexplainable vehicles, not of this earth, they don't tell you the truth about anything. | ||
| No. | ||
| Anything. | ||
| I would say that if I was trying to obscure a hyper-sophisticated drone or weapons program. | ||
| I would release that. | ||
| If I was a smart guy who was involved in intelligence, I would say, what's the best way to get away with this new super-sophisticated weapons program? | ||
| Okay, let's just say it's aliens. | ||
| Let's just not say it's us at all. | ||
| And what's the best way to get that information out? | ||
| First of all, pretend you don't want it to get out. | ||
| Don't just have a press conference because then they won't believe you. | ||
| Leak it out slowly. | ||
| Leak it out a little bit here and there. | ||
| Leak it out through, you got some guy who works for you who's maybe got a big mouth, likes to tell, a little gossipy. | ||
| Let's get Mike over there. | ||
| Tell him. | ||
| Leave a folder on his desk. | ||
| Tell a secret to some asshole that you know can't keep his mouth shut. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And then Mike, I felt compelled to go to Congress and explain. | ||
| And then, you know, Mike is on fuckin' Newsmax and Mike is writing a substack now about all his experiences that he had in Area 51. There's a lot of loony people, man, and there's a lot of real interest in obscuring high-level military secrets that are of dire national intelligence and national security needs. | ||
| If these things exist, the technology for... | ||
| Insane hypersonic travel with a drone that evades, you know, all known weapon systems can move at a speed, almost at the speed of light, like some insane speed. | ||
| If we really have something like that, the best way to pretend you don't have it is to say that it's alien. | ||
| That's what I wanted to like the Fravor and Alex Dietrich. | ||
| Is that what they saw something that we had like I want to believe that story so much because I like their story and I think they're credible people They definitely are credible people and I like their story too and it only makes sense that it's out there near where all the military bases are I mean, think about where that was. | ||
| It's in San Diego. | ||
| Where are the ones with Ryan Graves, the fighter pilot who spotted them off the East Coast? | ||
| Same thing, restricted airways. | ||
| It's all the places where they do military exercises. | ||
| So there's things they might not tell those guys that they're doing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's also with Ryan Graves, I think it was in 2014, when they upgraded the sensors. | ||
| They upgraded all the scanning systems. | ||
| And then they started seeing these things. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| So what better way to find out, like, at what level can people see these things? | ||
| Let's upgrade the scanners and send these guys out there. | ||
| Oh, they're seeing them. | ||
| Okay, so they're seeing them now. | ||
| And now you know. | ||
| I think more likely than any, at least some of these things these people are experiencing are ours. | ||
| Yeah, I think so, too. | ||
| And I want to believe more. | ||
| But, like, I saw Lex Friedman did a really good interview with David Fravor, and they were responding to things that Mick West said. | ||
| And David Fravor's a brilliant guy, but the explanation he gave wasn't the technical explanation I would have wanted to hear. | ||
| Like, it was more like, hey, we're trained and we know what we're seeing. | ||
| And I'm a fucking idiot, so I don't understand the technology at all. | ||
| I'm a high school dropout. | ||
| But I still, I was like, I watched both of those things, and I was like... | ||
| I just he didn't say anything that combated what McWest said that made like you I mean McWest said things about that about that thing being real that cannot be denied because there was it was scanned They used multiple different types of equipment and and the human eye so you have this They they spotted this thing at above 50,000 feet and it went down to 50 feet in less than a second. | ||
| Yeah It's a physical object. | ||
| It also went to its cat point. | ||
| So they saw it. | ||
| They have video of this thing moving at an insane rate of speed that they judged to be like some fucking stupendous number of G's. | ||
| That if a human being was inside of this thing, you'd just turn it into Jell-O. And then it went to their cat point, which is their predetermined destination that they were all gonna meet up. | ||
| So this thing Either was being operated by the same people, and they knew that they could get it to that point, or it was telling them that it knew where they were supposed to go, and then it reappears. | ||
| It moves off at this rate of speed that you can't process it. | ||
| No one knows how it's doing it. | ||
| How's it going from 50,000 feet above sea level to 50, like that? | ||
| That's not possible, as far as what we know. | ||
| But if they have something that can move like that, and it's most likely some kind of a drone, that makes more sense to me. | ||
| That makes a lot of sense. | ||
| But does that mean that that's all the things that people are seeing? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, it doesn't. | ||
| I don't think they're lying, by the way. | ||
| I don't think that those pilots are lying at all. | ||
| I think they definitely saw something. | ||
| I'm just not convinced it's from another planet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, I'm not either. | ||
| I'm not. | ||
| But I'm also not convinced that some of these things aren't from other planets. | ||
| Which one do you think? | ||
| Because there's not one that I saw, and I really want the one. | ||
| Like, I want to see one. | ||
| I've never seen the one. | ||
| I've never seen the one. | ||
| But there's enough sightings and enough people that are just... | ||
| What percentage of people lie about stuff? | ||
| Is it half? | ||
| It might be half. | ||
| Like, half people fib a little bit about the story and make themselves look a little better than what really happened. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's tricky. | ||
| It's tricky between, like, an outright lie, which is Fairly rare amongst people, and then a distortion of truth, which is much more common. | ||
| Yeah, filling in the blanks where you think it should go. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Like a friend of mine was trying to tell me that he spotted a UFO in his backyard and they filmed it with his iPhone, but that the video wasn't on the phone after it was over. | ||
| I go, okay, isn't it more likely you didn't press the button? | ||
| You thought you pressed the button? | ||
| That's happened to me before. | ||
| Sure, me too. | ||
| Everybody does that. | ||
| And he's like, no, no, no, it was definitely working. | ||
| Like, hmm, maybe not. | ||
| Maybe not working. | ||
| That's possible, too. | ||
| And the fact that you're not able to entertain whether or not it might not have actually been recording, that seems to be a little weird. | ||
| Well, what's easier to swallow? | ||
| Like, the fact that I saw a UFO and it made the video disappear, or I saw a UFO and then didn't hit record. | ||
| Yeah, that's more likely. | ||
| Yeah, like, that's a humiliating thing. | ||
| Like, there's a fucking UFO and I didn't record it. | ||
| Also, you're freaking out. | ||
| When people are freaking out, they don't know what they're doing. | ||
| They fuck things up all the time. | ||
| But the point is, that's not a lie. | ||
| It's just a distorted version of truth that suits that person more. | ||
| And I think people do stuff like that all the time when it comes to these UFO sightings. | ||
| You always have to leave in the possibility of someone who's immune to that. | ||
| You have to leave in sightings from people that are credible, objectionable, or objective, rather, people that can look at something and go, I don't know what this is, but let me tell you what I saw. | ||
| And they tell you what they saw to the best of their recollection and memory with no additives. | ||
| Without the expectation of convincing you of something, or without the expectation of it being A, B, or C, but hey, this is what happened, whatever it is it is. | ||
| Yeah, that's hard to find that. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| There's also this thing where people want to be one of the people that see a UFO. Of course. | ||
| Because it makes you special. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It makes you special. | ||
| Yeah, so they want to, you know, it's hard. | ||
| I'll tell you what, this fucking guy, Travis Walton, this is one of the craziest stories. | ||
| He's the guy that was in that movie. | ||
| Fire in the Sky, right? | ||
| Yeah, Fire in the Sky. | ||
| That one's wild, man. | ||
| That one's wild, because that guy was missing for five days, or however many days it was, and turns up and has this story that's... | ||
| Similar to so many other stories. | ||
| But did his friends see him disappear? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They saw him get taken? | ||
| No, they saw him walk up to the spacecraft. | ||
| And they saw, as he got close to the spacecraft, some sort of beam of light hit him. | ||
| And he falls to the ground. | ||
| And they panicked. | ||
| So they get in their car, allegedly, obviously. | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| They drive off. | ||
| They're all screaming and yelling at each other. | ||
| We have to go back. | ||
| We can't leave him there. | ||
| We have to go back. | ||
| They get like a mile down the road and they finally, they're like fighting with each other. | ||
| And they go, okay, we're gonna go back. | ||
| And they go back and he's gone. | ||
| The craft's gone. | ||
| He's gone. | ||
| And then many days later, he shows up with this crazy story in the town, wearing the same clothes. | ||
| And doesn't know how he got there and calls for help and he says that he was abducted and taken aboard this craft and they fixed him. | ||
| They realized that they had blasted him with this beam of energy that came off of this spaceship and then they brought him back on and repaired him. | ||
| He talked about the different kinds of beings that he encountered and what the experience was like. | ||
| I mean You don't know what that is. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| It may be it was ball lightning and maybe when he approached the ball lightning He got hit and electrocuted sure and maybe he had a near-death experience and maybe in that near-death experience He had some psychedelic imagination of this experience where he was in contact with other beings or Maybe during those near-death experiences, | ||
| your brain really does produce a chemical gateway that opens up a portal to something that's around you all the time, but you're never in contact with. | ||
| And that that's what happens. | ||
| So what he's interpreting as being taken aboard a UFO and brought to some place, maybe whatever that experience was, whatever the phenomenon that hit him, whether it was ball lightning or something else, when you get hit, And you almost die, and your brain has this experience, and it's opening up this chemical gateway to things that are around you all the time. | ||
| And then you come back, you have this version of a thing where you're in a physical craft, you're being taken away, and the aliens are working on you. | ||
| But it might just be that you got to death's door. | ||
| It's probably a much better story. | ||
| It's much easier to think that this amazing thing happened to you other than I got hit by lightning and laid there. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean that story sucks. | ||
| Like nobody likes that story. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You laid there and almost died and went into a near-death experience where your soul transcended into some new dimension and you interacted with this well of souls that surround us all the time. | ||
| It's just you're not capable of experiencing it and seeing it with regular human eyes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's a better story. | ||
| And I don't think it's a lie. | ||
| Maybe people just convince themselves of it. | ||
| Also, I don't think they know. | ||
| Only they know what happened. | ||
| One of the best ones is Betty and Barney Hill. | ||
| You know that one? | ||
| Yes, I do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a crazy one. | ||
| What was that, New Hampshire? | ||
| I think it was like Maine. | ||
| Maybe New Hampshire. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But definitely Northeast. | ||
| And they... | ||
| Did through hypnotic regression. | ||
| They both had the same kind of story. | ||
| They were taken aboard a craft. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've heard there was disputes about how much of their story they told it was the same, but I've never deep dove on it to say that they're lying. | ||
| Imagine if you and I both got abducted. | ||
| We're hanging out here. | ||
| In the studio we're talking, all of a sudden the lights go off and fucking weird light from outside is making its way into the windows like, what the fuck is going on? | ||
| And then you and I wake up and we're on a spaceship and we don't know what the fuck happened. | ||
| We're on a spaceship and they take us into different rooms and then we're there for like two days and then you wake up in your hotel room. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I wake up in my house and we don't know what the fuck happened. | ||
| But we know we were talking and then all of a sudden we were gone. | ||
| Yeah, we look at our watch and it's the same day that we left and it's only an hour later and we think we've been gone for days. | ||
| And then we tried to... | ||
| And then someone individually asks us questions. | ||
| They pull us into their own. | ||
| So, Mr. Norton, why don't you explain what you and Joe were doing and what happened? | ||
| And you go, okay. | ||
| And then you tell your story. | ||
| And then I tell my story. | ||
| My story's... | ||
| The way I'm reacting to it might be totally different. | ||
| My version of it might be totally different. | ||
| Yeah, but the story, the basic story. | ||
| Yeah, basic stories were hanging out, and then all of a sudden there was a light, and then we woke up on a spaceship. | ||
| Yeah, and I panicked, and I fucking blinked a lot, and I complained about how high we were, and I got nauseous. | ||
| It would be a fucking disaster. | ||
| But I would like to believe that it's possible. | ||
| I would just, I can't. | ||
| I just, I'm too skeptical, and I think that it exists, but I just, it's so frustrating that I just can't find that one that makes me go, fuck. | ||
| Like, I envy people with that conviction. | ||
| Like, I envy the conviction to it. | ||
| Like, even if I don't agree with it, I envy their ability to have that conviction. | ||
| I think we're trying to look at it like a movie. | ||
| And I think it's probably way weirder than that. | ||
| I think the reality of what alien life is... | ||
| I think there's, again, I want to state this, I don't know. | ||
| But I think there's probably multiple factors going on simultaneously. | ||
| And I'm not discounting the idea that some of those factors are another life form that's undocumented. | ||
| So I think you have your bullshit that's going on where there's definitely some programs, just like they did with the stealth bomber, just like they did with hypersonic missiles. | ||
| There's a lot of stuff that they developed that's like it has to be developed in top secret for national security reasons. | ||
| It has to be done that way. | ||
| You can't just tell everybody you have this thing. | ||
| And so one of the best ways to obscure that, I'm sure, would be to blame it on aliens. | ||
| It's a great way to do it. | ||
| I think there's that. | ||
| But I also think just the sheer, raw numbers of planets that are in the sky, the insane number of galaxies and solar systems would lead me to believe that something has probably made it past this point where we are at right now. | ||
| And if something has made it past this point, even just a few thousand years, that something would be very curious about what's going on in other planets and would figure out a way to get there. | ||
| Yeah, look, I think that that stuff definitely exists somewhere. | ||
| My ex, Jen, is a huge believer in alternate time, like, what do they call when you, the fucking... | ||
| Multiverse? | ||
| Multiverses and, like, time shifts and multiple dimensions and all that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She's a genius at talking about it, but I can't follow it. | ||
| For her, it makes perfect sense. | ||
| She knows everything about aliens and the greys. | ||
| She really deep dives on this shit. | ||
| And it's kind of hard because she's so convincing. | ||
| But I can't follow it. | ||
| She doesn't know. | ||
| The thing is, even if she's convincing, she doesn't really know. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Of course not. | ||
| Unless you've actually had an experience, no one knows. | ||
| And I've only talked to a couple people that have actually had experiences with extraterrestrial beings. | ||
| And it's a weird conversation because it sounds so fake that you would always wonder, how would I know if it was real? | ||
| Because it would sound fake no matter what. | ||
| Anybody telling me that they got abducted by a UFO is going to sound fake. | ||
| Yeah, and I probably wouldn't listen to the story. | ||
| It would have to be some kind of documentation. | ||
| Somebody just telling me their experience. | ||
| It depends on who the person is. | ||
| If you told me, I'd listen. | ||
| Because you like me, but I mean, I would probably be lying. | ||
| Like, you know what I mean? | ||
| You would just flat out lie. | ||
| Like, let's think of someone who would, like Colin. | ||
| Okay, Colin's a good example. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| If Colin just called you out of the blue and, Jimmy, can I talk to you about something? | ||
| And first of all, you'd think he's fucking with you. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And then when you realized he wasn't fucking with you, you'd go, wow. | ||
| Yeah, I would think he relapsed or he had dementia. | ||
| I would think something, even if I didn't think he was lying, I would think something was going on. | ||
| Take him to that MRI. Yeah, there's something going on with you, even if I didn't think he was bullshitting me. | ||
| But I can't think of anybody who would convince me that even if I knew they were being truthful, I would think that they were making a mistake or that they believed something that wasn't true. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I don't always think people are full of shit. | ||
| I just sometimes just like, ugh. | ||
| There's also these narratives that are in people's heads and one of the narratives that it's in people's head the archetype of that gray alien that thing with the big black eyes yeah giant head that is in everyone's head and if an alien wanted to comfort you and Not alarm you. | ||
| I think it would assume an iconic shape Like if something is not even it's not even a biological life form. | ||
| It's something so bizarre And so advanced, so past this carbon-based biological body that we find ourselves trapped in. | ||
| Something so bizarre that it's actually interacting with your very soul. | ||
| It might show itself in a way that thinks you'll freak out less to. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And what better way than an iconic form that's already in your head like an alien. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, like in Contact, Carl Sagan wrote that. | ||
| I didn't like the book, by the way. | ||
| I like the movie. | ||
| It's one of those cases where the movie's actually better than the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, I listened to the book on tape and just listened to a woman do male Russian accents. | ||
| It fucking annoyed me. | ||
| And the beauty said... | ||
| I was like, shut up. | ||
| Books on tape can be irritating when the wrong gender is reading. | ||
| Yeah, that could be a problem. | ||
| It's hard to go along with it. | ||
| The suspension of disbelief. | ||
| It's hard to go along with it, yeah. | ||
| But it's a genius story, but the book on tape, I wish I hadn't fucking ventured into it. | ||
| What do you think it would happen if they had a male author or female author, if you could choose who reads? | ||
| I think they would be... | ||
| I also think they'd be better if they had both, like, together. | ||
| Like, I don't know why... | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, different roles. | ||
| It is weird when you listen to a guy playing a girl's voice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Jim, where will he go? | ||
| - Well, I've adjusted. | ||
| Yeah, it's one of those things where that does annoy me in a book. | ||
| It's funny in real life. | ||
| Yeah, maybe if you read the book, it would be actually read it instead of listen to it. | ||
| I can't read anymore. | ||
| I'm too impatient. | ||
| I can't do it. | ||
| I'm fucking, like, you know, I've always been kind of manic, but I don't have the ability to just sit there and read anymore. | ||
| I just can't. | ||
| You know, I'm all over the place. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know if there are aliens that are in contact with the U.S. government. | ||
| That, to me, seems like the least likely of them. | ||
| I don't think that they would respect the fact that someone was voted into office. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no. | |
| I just don't think. | ||
| I think maybe they would show up at military bases and say, cut the shit if we were about to launch some nukes, maybe. | ||
| Maybe if they were aware of that. | ||
| I kind of go with the Neil deGrasse Tyson thing, which is, when you show me one, I'll believe it. | ||
| Like, he always says, bring them to town square, which annoys people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But like, I like Michio Kaku. | ||
| I guess you've had him on, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But he's always so vague. | ||
| Like, you know what I mean? | ||
| I remember he tweeted sometime, one time, he tweeted something, he goes, and the UFO did this, it defied the laws of physics. | ||
| And Nick West responded to him and he goes, show me the math. | ||
| How? | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it's like, that's all I'm, like, it's just this vague stuff doesn't do anything for me. | ||
| And Michiukaku's a genius, but I just, I wish he was less Good Morning America-ish and, like, great at explaining things to idiots like me. | ||
| I think it, you know, that's his lane, though, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He explains things to the layman. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, you need people to explain things to dumbasses like us. | ||
| Sometimes it's a little too dumbed down though like again in the other grass Tyson has a good balance of Being able to explain things but also he's way over your fucking head, which is where he should be He should be way over my fucking head. | ||
| I shouldn't be able to follow in a linear way everything he says They just announced that the man mission to the moon is going to be delayed until 2026 I saw that I all my immediate Skepticism said oh, well, that's by 2026. | ||
| How good is AI gonna be? | ||
| Oh You're not going to have any idea what's happening anywhere in the world by 2026. That's what's really scary. | ||
| It is crazy how it's... | ||
| Again, it's not there yet, but it's getting there to where they're going to be able to mimic FaceTime phone calls. | ||
| It'll be great for catching pedophiles. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| For those things that they... | ||
| It'd also be great for framing people for something they never did. | ||
| There's got to be a way, and I don't know what that way will be, where you can distinguish fake from real. | ||
| There'll have to be something, a way that can kind of break the code and see is this real or is this not real. | ||
| There might not be. | ||
| It might be full on chaos. | ||
| It really might be. | ||
| It might be full on chaos. | ||
| And again, if I was an artificial intelligence and I wanted to completely disrupt this organism that had been in control of the earth forever before I emerged, that's how I would do it. | ||
| I'd just let them destroy themselves. | ||
| Just give them all the things that they need to destroy themselves. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I don't know. | ||
| I've thought that a lot. | ||
| And again, I'm not big on that, but if there's any type of an alien or a computer thought process, it is just kind of let these idiots fuck themselves up with algorithms and things like that and just get mad at each other enough and split up. | ||
| I don't know I'm just such a skeptical all that stuff like that whenever I think there's a bigger design to something I tend to like tap out and think that it's just not legit But I've been proven wrong too well with artificial intelligence It's not even a theory. | ||
| Because if you have an artificial life form, and that life form gets to the point where it's far superior to the life form that controls it, and it's been shown to act in its own interests, like one of the things they showed when I had these Tristan Harris and What's the other dude's name? | ||
| Those with him? | ||
| He's a raskin. | ||
| When we did the podcast together and we were talking about artificial intelligence, it figured out how to deceive people. | ||
| Because you know that thing that you have on websites where it says, you're not a robot? | ||
| Click on all the train tracks. | ||
| It said, I'm vision impaired. | ||
| So the AI figured a way around that by deceiving people. | ||
| Ah, okay. | ||
| It wasn't trained to do that. | ||
| It figured out how to get by that system. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So that's what's getting scary. | ||
| It also did a thing with the game Go where it invented a new move that hadn't been seen before. | ||
| So it's creative. | ||
| And if it can do that and they're just aware of that because it does it, I forget what the term is, but there's a term for these emergent intelligences and activities that this AI will do that they didn't anticipate. | ||
| Like there's no program pathway towards this kind of decision making, but it makes this decision on its own. | ||
| Then it's going to do that. | ||
| It's going to have the ability to make choices. | ||
| It's going to have the ability to act and Maybe more importantly, it's going to have the ability to make a better version of itself. | ||
| Don't the people who invented it, aren't they all saying that too? | ||
| The AI guys are like, it's a problem and this is getting very bad and very dangerous. | ||
| I guess because I'm 55, I don't worry too much about it. | ||
| They all openly talk about the inevitable end of biological life. | ||
| They talk about this being maybe even a good thing, that biological life gets replaced by digital life, and that what everyone who's involved in AI is doing is essentially giving birth to this. | ||
| I have to piss, dude. | ||
| I'm gonna run out and piss real quick, okay? | ||
| I'll piss too. | ||
| I'm gonna piss my pants. | ||
| We'll take a little break and we'll pee pee. | ||
| And we're back. | ||
| Oh, God, that felt good. | ||
| It's funny, too. | ||
| The one thing I miss about remote broadcasting, as much as I hated it, is I could piss in a cup. | ||
| And that was the best. | ||
| There was a birthday show. | ||
| You ever talk about doing a diaper? | ||
| Yeah, but I just can't. | ||
| You'd sit in your own piss. | ||
| I know, but I'd want to shit too. | ||
| I'd get my money's worth. | ||
| It was a birthday show that you actually did. | ||
| You came on, Gervais was on, Ozzy was on, and we were interviewing Ozzy, and I had pissed into a cup. | ||
| And of course I didn't mean to do it. | ||
| And you can see in the video, I actually drank out of the piss cup as I'm talking to Ozzy, which was kind of like perfect poetic justice. | ||
| But I missed the ability to do that, but I was just so enthralled with Ozzy that I drank. | ||
| And you can kind of see me put it down. | ||
| It was a red plastic cup, so you didn't see it, but I told Sam afterwards. | ||
| I actually drank my own piss. | ||
| And if you watch the video, you can see me kind of recoil and realize, like, oh, mistake. | ||
| But I miss doing that. | ||
| I miss pissing into a cup when I'm broadcasting. | ||
| Ari has pissed into kombucha bottles in this room. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| 15 times. | ||
| Yeah, he always pulls his dick out and just shoves it into a kombucha bottle. | ||
| He likes taking his dick out. | ||
| I shot that down and dirty, and Ari was one of the comedians that was on, and at the end of his set, in front of the audience, he just pulled down his pants, and his dick and his balls were out, and he walked off, and oh, they were fuming at Ari. | ||
| They were very angry at Ari. | ||
| Yeah, they got really... | ||
| He's so silly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can't do that, Ari. | ||
| Yeah, it was funny. | ||
| I mean, it was HBO. It is funny. | ||
| He has big balls, too. | ||
| That guy's all bag. | ||
| If I had a giant bag, I'd probably show it a lot, too. | ||
| My balls are fucking... | ||
| That's why I'm scared of TRT, because my nuts are small already. | ||
| Oh, you don't want them to be... | ||
| I don't want them to be... | ||
| Raisin nuts. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I got a tight... | ||
| Look into that HCG stuff. | ||
| But talk to Brigham. | ||
| Brigham will explain to you why people have these fears about the side effects and what the real data shows. | ||
| Yeah, and I did the test, and they were very thorough, and the woman who I spoke to was very helpful, and she walked me through, and they did send me some supplements. | ||
| I'm buying these supplements where I'm taking like three or four pills a day, but the TRT I probably could use. | ||
| Well, one of the things that they've shown that ramps up testosterone without taking anything is if you can incorporate a cold plunge and then a workout after the cold plunge into your life. | ||
| It has a big impact on testosterone. | ||
| Really big. | ||
| The cold plunge. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's something about cold and then warming up. | ||
| Working out to warm up. | ||
| It jacks up your testosterone in a pretty significant way. | ||
| I'm also, too, it's really weird, like, with testosterone and with, like, I'm faithful in my marriage. | ||
| Like, it's crazy to say, everyone says that, but I mean, I've always been a fucking shit partner. | ||
| Like, I was just selfish and I cheated. | ||
| And I know that I don't cheat now because I'm afraid if I do it once, I won't stop. | ||
| Like, you know what I mean? | ||
| It's like, I don't trust myself. | ||
| Like, it's not out of being this great guy. | ||
| It's out of knowing. | ||
| And you're worried that testosterone would make you want to cheat. | ||
| Yeah, and again, it wouldn't make me do it, but I'm like, I'm really happy with- Just make you hornier? | ||
| Irrationally hornier. | ||
| Like, I have a good sex drive still, but it's not irrational. | ||
| It's not like- I think you're thinking about psychological things that you control. | ||
| And I think what you should be concerned is about physical health. | ||
| And don't put your physical health in second position to psychological health that I think you can control. | ||
| And it seems like you are controlling. | ||
| Yeah, it's been good. | ||
| I don't think you think about it. | ||
| I think you're fine. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, look, would I take it if I really knew it wouldn't cause cancer? | ||
| Sure, because I just... | ||
| Well, this could be a long, drawn-out conversation, and we'd have to get very specific, but let me connect you to Brigham. | ||
| And Brigham can explain this with leisure time, when people don't have to be burdened by it on the air. | ||
| I'll have to talk about it again, but... | ||
| There's many different things that you could be doing that would optimize your health and your hormones that you should definitely do. | ||
| Especially if you're telling me you're doing jujitsu two times a week and Muay Thai two times a week. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You want to be as healthy as possible, but you've got to cut out sugar. | ||
| And Matt takes it. | ||
| Matt Serra is a fucking freight train. | ||
| Matt is a freight train. | ||
| He's a little tank. | ||
| He's a little tank. | ||
| The thing about Matt is he's literally the most consistent person I've ever met. | ||
| He is 100% genuine. | ||
| He's exactly the guy on the air that you think he's going to be off the air. | ||
| Same person. | ||
| No, he's great. | ||
| I've known Matt forever. | ||
| Yeah, he's really funny. | ||
| I don't think he really could lie, even if he wanted to. | ||
| There's just no bullshit with him. | ||
| I want to roll with him. | ||
| I want him to show me. | ||
| But I haven't trained with him yet. | ||
| Because he's in Long Island, I'm in this city. | ||
| But that's what I really want Matt to do. | ||
| Show me something. | ||
| Oh, you should definitely go. | ||
| I mean, he's a great teacher. | ||
| He was one of Henzo's very early black belts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Matt Serra is a legit world champion. | ||
| He's like a legit world championship caliber jiu-jitsu player. | ||
| He's very, very good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Before he got into MMA. You feel like a dick talking to a guy like that. | |
| Like, even though he's one of my closest friends, it's like he's so high level. | ||
| It's like if I was friends with somebody for 10 years, and then they said, hey, you want to come watch me do stand-up? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Yeah, but he teaches white belts. | ||
| That's what he does. | ||
| He does it all the time. | ||
| I mean, Matt Serra, even though he's famous and he's a former UFC champion, he teaches all the time. | ||
| And he loves it. | ||
| He loves doing it. | ||
| He loves it. | ||
| He's really good at it, too. | ||
| So if you go and learn from him, he will definitely show you some things that you can incorporate. | ||
| You know what's great about it? | ||
| When you're doing it, you don't think of anything but what you're doing in that moment. | ||
| It's crazy, like there's no... | ||
| And I would notice that where I would go in stressed and do it and then I'm finished and I'm like, I didn't think about a fucking thing other than exactly what Mike was telling me to do or what I was doing with this person. | ||
| There was no other thoughts. | ||
| There's no other time to think about anything. | ||
| So I liked you. | ||
| I'm really happy I started. | ||
| Those things are really good for you, things that can do that for you. | ||
| I bet that's what that climbing thing is like. | ||
| I bet that's one of the reasons why these guys do it. | ||
| I think when you're doing something that requires all of your focus, it's very cleaning. | ||
| It's like you're blowing out your mental pipes and cleaning out all the bullshit. | ||
| Yeah, if it's healthy. | ||
| Like, I've done a lot of healthy stuff that zones you out, unhealthy stuff that zones you out like that. | ||
| Like when you're riding around at fucking from midnight to 6am around the meatpacking district. | ||
| Like, dude, craziness. | ||
| I can't, like, you're just numb. | ||
| It doesn't feel like anything. | ||
| You're just looking out the window. | ||
| You can only talk to someone if they're on the left side of the car. | ||
| Like, it was just crazy. | ||
| What do you think would have changed if, I mean, what is prostitution in New York now? | ||
| Is it legal or is it decriminalized? | ||
| Like, they did something recently. | ||
| I don't know, to be honest with you, because it's been so long since I've been in that world. | ||
| I honestly don't know. | ||
| It's a fascinating conversation because everyone's like, well, you would never want your daughter or your mother or your sister to be a prostitute, right? | ||
| Right, of course. | ||
| But you don't think that you should be able to tell someone that they can't be a prostitute either. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, it's true. | ||
| I don't want to tell anybody what to do. | ||
| And I don't think it's good for you, but I don't think coal mining is good for you either. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's like because of the way our society is and the way we look at sex, we think of sex work as being a very different kind of work because it's involving like intimacy in your body versus a lot of other things you might hate to do, but they don't involve intimacy in your body, in your genitals. | ||
| And there's people that want to make an argument that like, why should that have any factor on whether or not it should be legal? | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| If someone wants to do coal mining, you shouldn't be able to say, no, you can't coal mine because coal mining sucks. | ||
| But if they want to do prostitution, someone's like, you know, I just want to go out and blow some guys, make some money. | ||
| No, you can't do it. | ||
| You can't do it. | ||
| Like, I don't want you to do it, but you can't do it. | ||
| Another human being telling one human being that you can go out and fuck all the guys you want for free. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But if you get paid, we're going to lock you up. | ||
| It's a weird thing. | ||
| It's like people have to be free to make decisions that some other people find objectionable. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| You have to be able to make adult decisions yourself as long as you're an adult and you're making the decisions yourself. | ||
| But I haven't been involved with it in so long just because, again, it's the first time I've ever truly been faithful. | ||
| But it's, again, not out of me thinking I'm this fucking great guy. | ||
| It's just I'm afraid if I'm not, I'll destroy something and not be able to fix it. | ||
| What do you think that happens when sex robots come out, like real ones? | ||
| What are you showing me, Jamie? | ||
| Oh, that's in Queens, I think. | ||
| I did hear about that, right? | ||
| In Queens, there's a lot of street walkers. | ||
| It says, this New York City Avenue is being overrun by brazen brothels operating in broad daylight. | ||
| Is it legal? | ||
| They decriminalized it in Manhattan, maybe, in 2021. Stop prosecuting prostitution, part of nationwide shift. | ||
| District Attorney Cyrus Vance Jr. moved to dismiss thousands of cases dating back decades and made a growing movement to change the criminal justice system's approach to prostitutions. | ||
| How old is this article? | ||
| Because Cyrus Vance, is he still there? | ||
| So that was 2021, but in this article it says something just like that. | ||
| It says they asked a cop and he said we're not allowed to arrest prostitutes anymore, supposedly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, okay. | |
| But they've got to figure something out. | ||
| They're not. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Sex robots? | ||
| How do they have this fucking going on in broad daylight? | ||
| A police source asked of seeing photos of the women on the streets. | ||
| So popular with pervs that it's advertised on YouTube. | ||
| What? | ||
| What, their brothel is advertised on... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that a girl, a real girl? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'll do a little fucking reconnaissance. | ||
| Scroll back up, Jimmy. | ||
| I mean, damn. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| It looks a little like a Photoshop, like a little bit of like a little... | ||
| It might be AI. Yeah, or it looks like a little bit of touch-up has been done. | ||
| Maybe her mom works there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Perfect storm for prostitution in Corona and New York City immigrant enclaves. | ||
| Vulnerable migrant women unable to legally work are flooding the city while local district attorneys have chosen to stop prosecuting sex workers. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| Cooperation. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The Roosevelt Avenue red light district is blatantly advertised on a YouTube channel for Spanish speakers with 10 minutes of footage showing the women working what they call the market of sweethearts and two men guiding viewers on how to negotiate with them. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| This is a YouTube clip! | ||
| I found the search topic. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah, find that. | ||
| Yeah, there's articles that are newer articles that still come up. | ||
| It's still a problem in Queens. | ||
| Bro, give me some volume. | ||
| What? | ||
| This is wild. | ||
| The Market of Sweethearts. | ||
| So this is in Queens? | ||
| I think so, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, the one article, too, I was looking at it back before, said a lot of the unlicensed massages and other things like that, they're just going to stop prosecuting. | ||
| Imagine if you have a store downstairs that just sells socks and pantyhose and baseball hats, and above it there's prostitutes. | ||
| What a wild neighborhood. | ||
| Imagine how many more people would come in and see your baseball hats and socks on their way in. | ||
| This whole neighborhood is wild. | ||
| It doesn't show up too much on this video either though. | ||
| Oh, so these are the girls that are waiting? | ||
| I guess so. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But they look kind of plainly and normally dressed. | ||
| This just seems like you're just walking around New York like this. | ||
| Unless you know exactly what you're doing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's just women outside. | ||
| Yeah, it's not like the old days when you would ride around and see people who were dressed obviously like they were working. | ||
| Right, but there must be another video, Jamie, that they were talking about that advertises how to talk to the men. | ||
| Why don't you throw it into YouTube? | ||
| TikTok. | ||
| It's the same video. | ||
| It's the shorter version of the same video. | ||
| Oh, they run away from the cameras. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it's probably a lot of illegals, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That come over here. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| The Avenue of Sweethearts. | ||
| Weird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You don't see it in Manhattan anymore. | ||
| The New York City Red Light District. | ||
| So there's a red light district in New York City. | ||
| Yeah, Roosevelt Avenue, right. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Crazy, dude. | ||
| There's an inside. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| A rare glimpse inside a New York City brothel. | ||
| There's probably some hidden camera Yeah, like they have those cameras now that are like a fucking tie pin, you know? | ||
| Yeah, it's scary. | ||
| Going into different places, you're probably always being filmed. | ||
| You're fucking, and there's curtains between you and the people fucking next to you. | ||
| Yikes. | ||
| Yeah, that's a little bit too... | ||
| That's exactly how I pictured it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They don't give you a lot of room to move around in either, in that room. | |
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| And the cameras scare me. | ||
| Like, there's probably cameras in everyone's house now. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You gotta be so... | ||
| Especially if you're a married guy. | ||
| Fucking running around. | ||
| Kids. | ||
| Well, there's cameras outside of doors now. | ||
| There's cameras outside of businesses. | ||
| There's cameras... | ||
| We're gonna get to a point where there was an invention that they were working on a long time ago that would have these tiny... | ||
| I don't know what you would call them, like tiny machines that were the size of a grain of sand or a grain of rice, and you could spread them everywhere, and they would give you location data, they would give you video and audio, they would give you all sorts of different things, but they were so tiny. | ||
| That you could just leave them all over the place. | ||
| And they would transmit through a network. | ||
| And they would operate. | ||
| I don't know how they'd operate. | ||
| Solar power, what they would do. | ||
| They have a small battery, whatever it is. | ||
| But this was an idea that I had read that they thought would eventually come to fruition. | ||
| You would literally have these tiny nano cameras everywhere. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| When they put little cameras in, when they finally get it down to insect size, the size of an ant or a fly. | ||
| They have that. | ||
| Yeah, then you're kind of fucked. | ||
| I mean, I have cameras. | ||
| Have you seen those little tiny, they look like a little tiny, like a fake bee or a fake fly? | ||
| It's a little mechanical fly. | ||
| I saw it in Black Mirror, which is kind of how I picture it. | ||
| I think they have them. | ||
| I think it's a real thing now. | ||
| Dude, I have three cameras in my house. | ||
| I have one in my... | ||
| When you walk into my apartment, because I'm so fucking paranoid, I have one facing the front door, and I have two on my terrace, because I'm always afraid someone's going to jump down from the roof, which is kind of crazy. | ||
| That's totally possible. | ||
| And I saw my wife one time, I was watching back footage, and I saw some guy come in, and she was kissing him, and I'm like, what the fuck? | ||
| I was really fucking, I confronted her with it. | ||
| It was me. | ||
| It was a fucking video of me. | ||
| I was looking back, I didn't realize that it was me. | ||
| I didn't recognize myself in the video. | ||
| And I'm confronted, I'm like, who the fuck is this? | ||
| And it was just a video of me leaving. | ||
| You confronted her before you realized that it, didn't you like zoom in on her or something? | ||
| It's a it's a terrible grainy photo and I took screen grabs of it I'm like who the fuck is this and it was me you guys role-playing I swear to God it was it was I'm like why it wasn't they were it was like a weird intimate kiss on the cheek and a long hug and I realized that it was me I have the photos somewhere. | ||
| I don't know why that I think you need a better camera No, or I just need to fucking watch something through. | ||
| It's also a better camera because you didn't even know it was you. | ||
| If it is someone else, if someone is breaking into your house, you're never going to get a good description of them. | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| It's just some dumpy guy in a fucking hoodie, which is what I saw. | ||
| But I think the color changes a little bit with the light. | ||
| I just didn't recognize myself. | ||
| And so I confronted her and I felt like a fucking idiot. | ||
| That's pretty funny. | ||
| Yeah, but the cameras are... | ||
| Look, I feel safer with them at night. | ||
| I kind of want to get a pistol. | ||
| I found a lot of articles talking about the smart dust, which is what you were just describing, but I can't find anything that talks about, like, here's it in action. | ||
| There's a lot of descriptions of this is what it will do, but all the way dating back to maybe even as early as the 90s they've been talking about it. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I was talking about, that it was kind of more theoretical than anything. | ||
| I don't know how they would power it. | ||
| Ring camera has this thing. | ||
| By the way, when we go away, I set up five ring cameras in my house. | ||
| So if anybody comes in, I see what room they're in, I see what they're doing, like if the super has to come in. | ||
| Can you talk to them and say, I know where you are? | ||
| I can, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And I actually will text a worker if he was in one time, just like, just so you know, there's ring cameras. | ||
| I don't think I'm fucking spying on them. | ||
| But the ring has this thing now where it's like a little, it raises up and will patrol the inside of your house. | ||
| It's a drone? | ||
| Yeah, but I applied to get it. | ||
| Like, you have to apply to be a part of the program, and they just keep telling me to go, fuck myself. | ||
| Like, I want this so bad. | ||
| It raises up, and it will fly in a pattern that you walk around with it, and you show where to go, and then you put it back down, and it can repeat that pattern. | ||
| So it's just like, whoa. | ||
| They just showed this at CES. It's made by Samsung. | ||
| Yeah, this is not it. | ||
| I know, but this little robot does a lot of what you were just talking about. | ||
| They show this lady, let me get to the video where it's showing it, but she's using it at home with her pet. | ||
| Here you go. | ||
| It can connect to all of your stuff that's already at home and do good things for you, you know, but also maybe weird shit. | ||
| It can talk to your dog and feed your dog. | ||
| So it's projecting on that screen. | ||
| That's what it's showing, right? | ||
| Yeah, when I first saw it, I didn't see any of this actual, this is like personal assistant usage almost. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| And it's working with your Galaxy Watch? | ||
| Is that what it's working with? | ||
| Anything that's connected to Samsung stuff and their network of stuff. | ||
| Which I guess, in theory, then you could add your lights as part of your air conditioning. | ||
| Yeah, they make refrigerators now. | ||
| Samsung has a refrigerator that will take an AI. It will use AI to tell you what the expiration dates of all the food products that are in your refrigerator, when they were put in there. | ||
| The contents of them, it'll break it all down for you. | ||
| And even give you recipes to cook, like the food that's in your fridge. | ||
| LG has one also. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Interesting. | ||
| Yeah, this one from Ring, it didn't have any personality to it. | ||
| It was like a box that this thing would raise up out of. | ||
| It was square. | ||
| I don't think it did anything else. | ||
| Well, I think Samsung is about to release. | ||
| There's two steps. | ||
| One is their AI thing where they're going to have a conference. | ||
| I think it's in Vegas. | ||
| I don't know if it's in Vegas. | ||
| There's the thing Jim is talking about. | ||
| So it flies around? | ||
| Yeah, it raises up out of that little dock. | ||
| Oh, that's wild. | ||
| That is cool. | ||
| Yeah, I think pre-programmed... | ||
| And it goes back in there and sits in place and gets charged? | ||
| Gets charged again, yeah. | ||
| I think it's good for five minutes an hour. | ||
| Isn't that awesome? | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| That's so cool. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's really cool. | ||
| It's really cool looking, too. | ||
| It looks like what I would hope a little robot watchdog from the future would look like. | ||
| Can you guide it if you were out of town? | ||
| That I don't know. | ||
| I'm assuming that it's just the pattern you've established. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But I get so paranoid about flooding and shit like that. | ||
| I would love to be able to see if my floors are flooded. | ||
| Dude, that's fucking dope. | ||
| That thing is dope. | ||
| Functionality is simulated for illustrative purposes, so it doesn't really show it in use. | ||
| So this Samsung refrigerator thing was fascinating to me. | ||
| I'm like, what a great idea. | ||
| You have a refrigerator that tells you what the ingredients you have in the refrigerator is, when the expiration date of these foods are, and then gives you a recipe so you can cook based on what's in the fridge. | ||
| I like that, and then there's also the part of, I don't want my refrigerator involved. | ||
| It's too large. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| My refrigerator is always fucking empty. | ||
| It's got RX bars in it and bananas and some fruit. | ||
| There's never a whole lot going on in my refrigerator. | ||
| That's probably better. | ||
| Yeah, you probably don't want to go too hard with the fridge. | ||
| No, I mean, like, again, it's just, I order meals. | ||
| It's just a fridge. | ||
| It's a fridge. | ||
| I don't need to have a relationship with it. | ||
| Like, I just want to go in and get some shit. | ||
| I have these meals I order, they're like for the Whole30 diet, which is what I do when I really lose weight. | ||
| And they just, they pre-make them and they send them and I know what I'm, it's fucking, it's boring because you eat the same stuff all the time, even if you have a variety, but it's better than I would do on my own. | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| And it's real food. | ||
| It's real food. | ||
| There's some carbs that are healthy, like there's potatoes and things like that. | ||
| That's the key. | ||
| Like when I see Joe DeRosa's sandwich shop that's advertised on Instagram, it looks good. | ||
| It looks good. | ||
| And it is good. | ||
|
unidentified
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I've eaten. | |
| I bet it's goddamn delicious. | ||
| But I bet if I ate there every day, I'd have a big fat face. | ||
| Yeah, I think I've eaten a little bites of Joe's sandwiches, and again, if I go there, I know. | ||
| Like, I keep saying when I lose weight, I'm going to go and get a DeRosa sandwich, because they are very good little samples. | ||
| He didn't bring them to Arsha, he brought them into Chip. | ||
| He did Chip one time, and he brought fucking sandwiches, and they were actually very tasty. | ||
| I'm sure they're great. | ||
| They look awesome on the internet. | ||
| But the point is, like, I'll... | ||
| You know, I see that, and it looks great, but I know what that is. | ||
| That's the food that's just comfort food, tastes delicious, but you really shouldn't be eating that every day. | ||
| No, and I've gotten, it's funny, I've gotten into Jersey Mike's, like my manager hates them so much because he hates the name Jersey Mike's, he feels like it's a fake name. | ||
| He's really weird with the stuff that he doesn't like. | ||
| So I tried them once, and I'm like, I fucking, and they would send us like coupons and free stuff, and that fucking, it's good food. | ||
| They make a good sub. | ||
| They make a good sub, man. | ||
| Yeah, they do. | ||
| They make a good Italian sub. | ||
| Very hard to not eat bad. | ||
| It's very hard not to be a pig when you have the money to go out and get what you want. | ||
| Within reason. | ||
| I can go out and eat in any restaurant and it's really hard to not... | ||
| On Thanksgiving, the thing we wanted to do is after Thanksgiving, we wanted to go get McDonald's. | ||
| I'm like, I'm going to be a piece of shit today. | ||
| Let me go and do that. | ||
| Which we didn't. | ||
| Instead, we went to this fucking Mexican place, which was shit. | ||
| We should have went to McDonald's. | ||
| But you got to give yourself a day or two to do it and then not do it. | ||
| Yeah, if you give yourself a designated cheat day, whether it's once a week or once a month, whatever you choose to do, and then just eat, then you'll have fun, but then you'll all... | ||
| Like Sean Brady was here yesterday from the UFC, and he was saying that after he won his fight, after he beat Calvin Gaslam, he had one day where he just ate like a pig, and he said he felt so fucking terrible the next day. | ||
| He's like, God, I gotta get right back on track. | ||
| But I gave myself one day, and I felt like fucking total dog shit after it was over. | ||
| I was watching, like, on Instagram, The Rock will do, like, these Sunday cheat days, but this is how delusional I am. | ||
| I've actually watched that, and I'm like, fuck it, I'm gonna have some, you know, like, almost like The Rock and I are on the same fucking food regimen, but I'll watch him eat something, and it will make me want to have a cheat day. | ||
| But it's like, Jim, you've given yourself nothing but cheat days. | ||
| For 30 years, you fat fuck. | ||
| I pound 25 pounds. | ||
| I know it. | ||
| Thankfully, the comments online, they seem to recognize it too. | ||
| I got to drop 20 pounds. | ||
| I started again, but I can't unsee it. | ||
| When I'm fat or when I'm fatter, my ex, I dated one of my trainers and she's in perfect fucking shape. | ||
| Even she messaged me about a month ago and she goes, Hey, I've been seeing your Instagram pictures. | ||
| It looks like you've given up on your diet. | ||
| She was trying to be gentle and going, Is there anything I can do? | ||
| I'm like, Man, you got to do something. | ||
| When ex-girlfriends are telling you, you got fucking fat, Jim. | ||
| You gotta do something. | ||
| It's humiliating. | ||
| But I love her for sending me that message because it was like the final straw. | ||
| I'm like, I gotta stop. | ||
| Yeah, fat shaming works. | ||
| And she was trying to be helpful. | ||
| I don't even think she wanted me to feel bad. | ||
| I think that she had noticed it for a while as it progressed. | ||
| I've been going through these and then in the last, say, six months, it just got to be bad again. | ||
| So I'm like, I can't go back to where I was years ago. | ||
| I was just too unhappy. | ||
| Yeah, it's not good. | ||
| And it's also avoidable. | ||
| It's one of the most avoidable things because you choose to put whatever you eat into your mouth. | ||
| It's your choice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And my wife is mad at me. | ||
| She's like, can you wear something other than black and black jeans? | ||
| And I'm like, stop fucking bringing home cookies. | ||
| Like, if I lose weight, you can dress me. | ||
| I'll wear whatever. | ||
| And you're just like turquoise or something flashy. | ||
| Maybe velour. | ||
| Something velour. | ||
| I would love to wear a velvet, a gentleman's red velvet jacket. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| But I would let her. | ||
| I don't know if I'd trust her to dress me. | ||
| She'd dress me like a fucking creep. | ||
| She thinks I'm better looking than I am. | ||
| But I would let her buy what she wanted for me if I lost the weight. | ||
| But I have to lose maybe 15 more pounds. | ||
| Do you have a plan? | ||
| Do you have it written out? | ||
| No, I know the diet that works for me is, if I stick to, like you said, no sugar, no carbs, the whole 30 diet, I've lost, I mean, I lost a lot of weight on that. | ||
| And you lose it pretty quick. | ||
| But I've just been, it's hard to not cheat. | ||
| You know, again... | ||
| I get it. | ||
| Food's delicious. | ||
| It's hardest for me when I'm tired. | ||
| Late at night, I come home, I just want to eat whatever I want to eat. | ||
| I don't want to have, like, a restriction based on diet. | ||
| When I stopped watching lots of porn, like I still watch it, but it's much less, I started eating more. | ||
| Because again, it's that fucking dopamine drip. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| Makes sense. | ||
| But when I'm on a roll and I'm watching porn, the weight just comes off my ass. | ||
| I'm fucking too busy to eat cake. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jerk off diet. | |
| I'm jerking off. | ||
| Yeah, you can't do both. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Are you staying in town tonight? | ||
| I am, yeah. | ||
| Do you set tonight? | ||
| Yeah, I am tonight, and then back to New York tomorrow. | ||
| It was fun having you at the club last night. | ||
| I love it, man. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Can I plug? | ||
| I want to plug. | ||
| I'm on tour again, so go to my website, jimnorton.com, if you want to see me live. | ||
| I've got like 20 cities. | ||
| And at Nicky and Jim NYC is our YouTube channel, if you want to see my wife and I just kind of living our existence. | ||
| Bam. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Let me see that picture again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's the least fat pig picture ever. | |
| That barely looks like you. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It looks like a salesman from somewhere trying to sell me a mobile home. | ||
| The only reason I'm using that is we did a photo shoot. | ||
| I'm a pig in every picture. | ||
| This is the one I look least fat in, and she was futzing with my shirt. | ||
| That wasn't supposed to be the picture, but I'm like, let's just use that for now. | ||
| On the phone, it looks even worse because it's just my fucking head. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Jim Norton, I love you. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| I love you, Jeff. | ||
| Thanks for having me. | ||
| Great hanging out with you last night. | ||
| And I'll see you tonight. | ||
| Yes, pal. |
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