Dec. 12, 2023 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:33:13
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
Joe Rogan podcast, check it out! | |
| The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
| Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day! | ||
| Hey! | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're happy Rogan. | |
| Yes. | ||
| What's happening? | ||
| Bro, how fun are these workouts? | ||
| Changes your day, right? | ||
| Yeah, it makes the day better. | ||
| I literally don't know how you do this. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| You're like, oh, you're going to feel so good. | ||
| Dude, I get to the club. | ||
| I'm literally falling asleep. | ||
| I'm sore. | ||
| You got to start taking vitamins. | ||
| I take some vitamins. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| What are you taking? | ||
| Take vitamin B. Yeah? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| D. Okay. | ||
| Pause it. | ||
| C. Okay. | ||
| Take some zinc. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| What, are you getting like a multivitamin? | ||
| Yeah, whatever the fucking CVS things is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, okay. | |
| Those yellow, you know what I'm talking about? | ||
| It's probably been on the shelf since the 70s. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't think they're doing anything. | ||
| I heard zinc makes you cum harder. | ||
| I haven't noticed a big result, but... | ||
| Zinc is difficult to get into your bloodstream. | ||
| You need an ionophore. | ||
| If you're going to take zinc, you need something like quercetin. | ||
| Fuck, I knew I needed an ionophore. | ||
| Yeah, ionophore is super important. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Something that allows... | ||
| I don't want to fuck this up, but I think it allows ions to get into your bloodstream easier. | ||
| It just allows things like zinc to get into your cells easier. | ||
| I'm not... | ||
| Yeah, I'm not close to worrying about shit like that. | ||
| I'm working on, like, bread. | ||
| Bread stuff, dude. | ||
| I'll worry about ionophores in a couple years. | ||
| Bread's tough. | ||
| Boy, when you're sitting at a restaurant and they bring out the bread with the butter, ooh, it smells good. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| I mean, this weekend I ate at Denny's and Waffle House. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| Both were pretty good. | ||
| Bro, at 2 o'clock in the morning, a waffle with some sausages, it's hard to beat. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I used to love in LA? Roscoe's. | ||
| Chicken and waffles. | ||
| God damn it's good. | ||
| It's the best. | ||
| With collard greens. | ||
| I don't know about that. | ||
| Do you like collard greens? | ||
| Fucking love them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Especially when you're- It's the combination of flavors. | ||
| The chicken, the waffles, the syrup with the butter. | ||
| The syrup and the butter. | ||
| Too much syrup and too much butter. | ||
| Just let's fucking go. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| We're eating it like... | ||
| As you're eating it, you're like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
God, I used to love Roscoe's. | |
| Yeah, I just ate a waffle, like I said. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Two days ago, I was eating a waffle. | ||
| Waffles are good. | ||
| It's pretty wonderful. | ||
| Waffles are good. | ||
| Waffles with butter and syrup are pretty fucking good. | ||
| It sucks that they're bad. | ||
| It's a crazy way to start the day. | ||
| I did find some protein waffles. | ||
| What are they called? | ||
| Is it Viking waffles? | ||
| See if you find that. | ||
| I think there's a company called Viking Waffles. | ||
| They made like protein waffles that are like low carb. | ||
| And then I would use butter and then sugar-free syrup. | ||
| It's pretty fucking close. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Viking Waffles. | ||
| 21 grams of protein, 3 grams of sugar, 5 grams of carbs. | ||
| 200 calories. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| And they're good. | ||
| They fucking taste like a real waffle. | ||
| People love Vikings. | ||
| Who doesn't love Vikings? | ||
| Fucking Irish people. | ||
| The people that were on the shore. | ||
| People that got raped for 500 years. | ||
| Bro, they fucked everybody up forever. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're the reason why the people in Iceland are so good at strongman competitions. | ||
| You know, those guys like the mountain from Game of Thrones? | ||
| Yeah, they're freaks. | ||
| Where do you think those genes come from? | ||
| Yeah, they need an eruption up there. | ||
| We need to get rid of these guys. | ||
| A little bit of a volcano. | ||
| We can't have these guys. | ||
| This is my Irish ancestry coming through. | ||
| We gotta get rid of these fuckers. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, they fucked the world up for so long. | |
| That show Vikings, you ever watch that show? | ||
| No, I heard it's great. | ||
| Fucking great. | ||
| I was afraid it was gonna be like... | ||
| Because they did, like, women? | ||
| Oh, they kill everybody. | ||
| Alright, good. | ||
| No, no, I mean like the badass, kick-ass woman characters? | ||
| Do they have that? | ||
| They have a couple. | ||
| That usually takes me out of a... | ||
| No, no, they're realistic. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I mean, they're not, like, fucking up all the dudes or anything like that. | ||
| Ah, the old Conor McGregor woman. | ||
| I don't love it. | ||
| They announce a sequel? | ||
| Is the girl in the... | ||
| Oh, it's Netflix. | ||
| And the armor, the armor takes me out of it. | ||
| Why? | ||
| It's a little too Game of Thrones, you know? | ||
| Show what a real Viking looked like. | ||
| What did they really look like? | ||
| They looked like shit, dude. | ||
| They were like five, six... | ||
| They were not these giant... | ||
| Well, how the fuck does the mountain come from? | ||
| Where does he come from then? | ||
| I think they were wearing like felt shirts. | ||
| They looked like fucking dickheads. | ||
| Look at them. | ||
| They look like hobbits, dude. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| That's not real. | ||
| I mean, that's not them. | ||
| That's not real. | ||
| That's a Ren fan. | ||
| Look at that fucking kid. | ||
| Those are cosplaying. | ||
| Those people are cosplaying people. | ||
| Oh, jeez. | ||
| Don't do that. | ||
| Don't zoom in on his eyes. | ||
| That's not fair to that little fella. | ||
| That's what they're supposed to look like? | ||
| No, they've been glorified because they were... | ||
| Do we have an accurate depiction of what they actually look like? | ||
| Click on that. | ||
| What real Vikings wore? | ||
| Click on that. | ||
| What real Vikings wore? | ||
| See it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So click on that. | ||
| We'll see. | ||
|
unidentified
|
According to archaeologists. | |
| According to archaeologists. | ||
| I used to love archaeologists. | ||
| Popular culture gets it wrong. | ||
| Tell I met Graham Hancock. | ||
| All right. | ||
| It says the appearance of these infamous travelers, warriors, and mostly farmers. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| So what do they look like? | ||
| There's not going to be a picture. | ||
| It's just going to explain it. | ||
| It's going to be a lot of words. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Words. | ||
| But what does it say? | ||
| It says varieties and form, material, and styles are used to mark both gender, rank, and local identity. | ||
| says Marianne Vedler, an archaeologist at the University of Oslo's Museum of Cultural History, who has studied Viking textiles. | ||
| TV shows and films could make use of this to tell better stories. | ||
| As for the male warrior caricature, historians doubt they actually wore cartoonish horned helmets in battle. | ||
| Oh, come on. | ||
| It's disappointing. | ||
| Those have peered in art from this era. | ||
| In fact, only one preserved Viking helmet has materialized in Scandinavia and it was horn-free. | ||
| Only one? | ||
| They only found one Viking helmet? | ||
| Archaeologists found portions of Viking helmets in Denmark, but their popularity remains unknown. | ||
| Similarly, we know of one intact suit of chainmail which appeared with the sole surviving helmet. | ||
| One fucking suit of chainmail and one helmet. | ||
| This was likely worn exclusively by elites and professional warriors despite its common appearance in mainstream depictions. | ||
| They rocked a reverse mullet. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| What's a reverse mullet? | ||
| Long up front? | ||
| Party up front? | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| What's a reverse mullet? | ||
| How's that look? | ||
| I guess. | ||
| What is a reverse mullet? | ||
| So reverse mullet means long on top and short in the back? | ||
| Bad explanation here. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So a fade? | ||
|
unidentified
|
There you go. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| It's possibly tied to a knot in the back of the head. | ||
| The knot may have been decorated with colored tape, which is sprayed into the hair. | ||
| The woman also wore a bond. | ||
| So there's a lot of guessing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you have one helmet and one piece of chain mail... | ||
| Yeah, that's all guessing. | ||
| You're doing a lot of guessing. | ||
| Isn't that wild, though? | ||
| They only got one helmet? | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's a good look. | ||
| Alright, they got it in the show. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But yeah, they gave him like cool shit. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| That is pretty cool. | ||
| Viking hairstyles. | ||
| Did they really tattoo their faces up? | ||
| Obviously there's no way to tell. | ||
| How do they guess? | ||
| They just keep making them so cool. | ||
| Yeah, they make them real cool. | ||
| And they're a bunch of murderers and you like them. | ||
| Yeah, I don't cheer for them. | ||
| No? | ||
| No, I don't like the Vikings. | ||
| Because of your culture. | ||
| Because of my culture? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I think they're overrated. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Overrated. | ||
| Everything about them is rumors. | ||
| They're like, oh, they discovered America first. | ||
| It's like, nah. | ||
| I think they did. | ||
| Dude, you gotta give Columbus his fucking due. | ||
| Columbus gets no, no due. | ||
| Everybody hates Columbus. | ||
| He's a cocksucker. | ||
| Bro, did you ever read that one... | ||
| He fucking did it, dude. | ||
| He didn't even. | ||
| He landed in the Bahamas. | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| That's crazy he did that. | ||
| Did you ever hear that one... | ||
| There was one priest that traveled with Columbus that wrote those horrific stories of what they did to the Native Americans? | ||
| Fucking snitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fucking snitch, dude. | |
| Guys, you're not allowed to go wild? | ||
| You cross the ocean? | ||
| You're going wild. | ||
| Yeah, they shot people's arms off. | ||
| They didn't give enough gold. | ||
| They dashed baby's heads on the rocks. | ||
| They did some horrific shit, man. | ||
| Some horrific shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But... | |
| People were awful back then. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Just think about how awful people were in the movies in 1950. Just smack women around. | ||
| Yeah, I was just watching that Sean Connery interview yesterday. | ||
| It's pretty good. | ||
| Every now and again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| When you've shed it... | ||
| He's like, she has to get the last word. | ||
| They have to get the last word. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And even after you let them get the last word, that's not enough. | |
| It's actually pretty good. | ||
| I can't do it. | ||
| Connery. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| I have a fucking zen in my mouth, which makes it harder. | ||
| And it fucks you up. | ||
| Harder to do that accent. | ||
| There it is a little. | ||
| Oh, you were just in Scotland. | ||
| I can kind of do it. | ||
| Did you get it? | ||
| Bro, I was in Scotland, and I was at this place, and there's a fucking stone circle that's older than Stonehenge. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, who made this? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You can just go stand on it. | ||
| You can touch it. | ||
| They don't even protect it. | ||
| It's just laying out there in front of this dude's house. | ||
| It's literally in front of this dude's house. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| It's like 50 feet in front of it. | ||
| You can throw a rock and hit it. | ||
| How old is it? | ||
| 5,000 plus years old. | ||
| Stone circle. | ||
| No idea who made it. | ||
| They think. | ||
| Druids? | ||
| Maybe druids? | ||
| Scotland's fucking beautiful. | ||
| Scotland's pretty cool. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| There's no one there. | ||
| It's like I kind of discovered it. | ||
| Cut off their arms, dude. | ||
| There's two million people in the whole country. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, the whole country's as big as Austin. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's fucking gorgeous. | ||
| God damn, it's pretty. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Low clouds and the hill, they're not really mountains. | ||
| They're kind of like, you know, a couple thousand feet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But God, it's fucking gorgeous. | ||
| God. | ||
| And they have these stags everywhere. | ||
| These like big majestic stags around. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I got a picture of one. | ||
| I'll show you a picture. | ||
| Let me see that. | ||
| I'll send it to Jamie so you can take a look at it. | ||
| Have you heard that the mountain range, like the Appalachians, it bleeds over to Europe? | ||
| It was connected? | ||
| That's pretty cool. | ||
| What's that, Jamie? | ||
| The Appalachians, the same mountain range, is the same mountains over there. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It goes across the ocean? | ||
| Well, I mean, when they were connected, it did. | ||
| Oh, like during the panspermia days? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What? | ||
| Panspermia. | ||
| Oh, that's the wrong one. | ||
| Pangea. | ||
| You know what panspermia is? | ||
| No, what? | ||
| Panspermia is the theory that asteroids seeded life on Earth. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| It's like spores and amino acids were in asteroids. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Trying to get to be close and just make something gay? | ||
| No, I did. | ||
| I turned it into sperm. | ||
| Check out that picture I sent you, Jeremy. | ||
| Here's another one. | ||
| This one might be better. | ||
| I didn't zoom in as much on this one. | ||
| There's the first one. | ||
| Look at this guy. | ||
| Oh, damn. | ||
| Just wandering around. | ||
| I had to zoom in on him. | ||
| That's why. | ||
| Look at the second one. | ||
| Probably less shitty. | ||
| Oh, eat me and eat one. | ||
| What's that about? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Is that the way it worked? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What have you done? | |
| That dude was just chilling. | ||
| That thing's huge. | ||
| Huge. | ||
| Big ol' stag. | ||
| Did you want to shoot him? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| I was looking at his vitals and I was drawing back. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It was about 90 yards. | ||
| Oh, were you hunting when you saw him? | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| I was just wandering around. | ||
| I don't think you're allowed to bow hunt in Scotland. | ||
| I think they allow you to bow hunt in the UK. Because they're just... | ||
| Oh, it's for animals. | ||
| Yeah, I just don't think they're educated. | ||
| They're not educated about modern compound bows and modern broadheads. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And, you know, if someone's good at a bow and arrow, that's just as ethical as shooting it with a rifle. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe more so. | ||
| Animals die fucking quick when you shoot them with a bow and arrow, if you shoot them right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They do. | |
| I believe you. | ||
| They die quick. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| With one of those heavy-duty compounds, like a Hoyt, shooting fucking 300 feet per second, razor-sharp broadhead at the end of it. | ||
| Just passes right through their body. | ||
| Next thing you know, they're spraying blood. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| They die quick. | ||
| You just went there, right? | ||
| Did you just go hunting? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| What'd you get? | ||
| I got an elk. | ||
| Yeah, a big fucker. | ||
| Big fucker. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's fun. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| You killed it with a bow and arrow? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you scream? | ||
| I screamed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I bet. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| You're a Viking dude. | ||
| No, I'm not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you are. | |
| Bow and arrow? | ||
| Yeah, bow and arrow. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I need difficult things to do, dude. | ||
| I have a fucked up brain. | ||
| I figured it out somewhere in my 20s that I just need to keep doing difficult things in order to stay sane. | ||
| I don't have a brain that is allowed to sit still. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, I'm from the Romans. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's my ancestry. | ||
| Bunch of fucking psychos. | ||
| Yeah, I came from, like, bog people. | ||
| It's like, yeah, let's just fucking chill. | ||
| Well, I'm one quarter bog people. | ||
| Let's just sit in this mud. | ||
| I'm one quarter bog people in trunks. | ||
| Three quarters Roman. | ||
| Sicilian. | ||
| So I got some black in me, too. | ||
| I got some of the Moors. | ||
| You know, there's a lot of weird influences in my genetics. | ||
| Yeah, you're fucked up. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| Whatever the mix is. | ||
| Yeah, it's a weird mix. | ||
| It works well if you can fuck it. | ||
| You know, the way I say it, it's like if you have a race car. | ||
| If you don't know how to drive a race car, you're gonna fucking crash into a tree. | ||
| But if you understand what's required to maintain this thing, and you realize it's different than every other car on the road, you just have to manage it. | ||
| You have to understand how to use it. | ||
| I don't know what I am. | ||
| Yeah, you're some kind of a fucking SUV. Just a van with a fucking taped window? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| You're a party van. | ||
| You're like a living fucking sprinter van. | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| Yeah, you're a party van. | ||
| We'll figure it out. | ||
| You're an awesome party van. | ||
| Yeah, you'd have good tunes. | ||
| I'm trying. | ||
| A cooler full of beer. | ||
| You're a party man. | ||
| Just Drake, dude. | ||
| Yeah, no need to go fast. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Still fucking... | |
| All over the road. | ||
| Changing lanes. | ||
| Oh my god, I saw this video today of this guy who was driving on the highway, and he's in a truck, and then before he can stop, there's sheep all over the road. | ||
| He hits a thousand sheep. | ||
| Here, I'll send it to you. | ||
| I'll say that to Jamie. | ||
| It's so fucked up. | ||
| I mean, that's not great, but that's gonna be very funny. | ||
| Well, it's okay to watch because it's not gory, but it's just like, oh my god, what the fuck do you do? | ||
| You can't do anything. | ||
| He had zero time to prepare. | ||
| How many thoughts? | ||
| Oh, quite a few. | ||
| Do they have the dash cam from in the car? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Do you get to see him? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's my favorite. | ||
| Instagram is fucking weird. | ||
| Like, sometimes when Instagram is open, it won't show you the link you're trying to get to. | ||
| Did it come up, the right one? | ||
| Here, I'll show you. | ||
| I'll send it to you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Is it the right one? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, dude, I must have shown it on Protective Parks. | |
| There's one where there's dogs crossing the street. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Dude, it's so... | ||
| So watch this. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Go full screen on this. | ||
| This dude's just driving along the road, having a good old time, just doing his thing, trying to get to his destination. | ||
| He's not even speeding. | ||
| Look, going normal. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| Bro. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| How many sheep did he kill? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck? | |
| Oh, no! | ||
| How many sheep did he kill? | ||
| I mean, I'm guessing 500. So many. | ||
| So many. | ||
| He's in a semi-truck, clearly, right? | ||
| Yeah, clearly. | ||
| Because it didn't even slow him down. | ||
| You didn't hear a bang. | ||
| He got him with the high beams, though. | ||
| Look at this guy. | ||
| Bro had nine years to break. | ||
| Shut the fuck up, bitch. | ||
| It's always some guy who's shirtless in his avatar. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| Like five white lines down the middle of the road. | ||
| Yeah, you had no time. | ||
| You're going 70 miles an hour, you have zero time. | ||
| Bang! | ||
| Ba-ba-boom! | ||
| Ba-ba-ba-boom! | ||
| Ba-ba-ba-ba-boom! | ||
| I mean, that's hundreds of sheep are getting slaughtered there. | ||
| Look, by the time you're slowing down... | ||
| I just noticed, too, his windshield wiper automatically turned on there. | ||
| Oh, from the spray. | ||
| It wasn't on before. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| God damn. | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| You gotta drive off, dude. | ||
| You just gotta keep driving. | ||
| You just gotta keep driving. | ||
| But meanwhile, anybody who's coming after you is gonna crash. | ||
| And you can't clear that many. | ||
| You'll get killed. | ||
| Because when someone's coming along, they don't see you in time. | ||
| Obviously, if you're in the middle of the road. | ||
| That'd be hard work. | ||
| That'd be so heavy. | ||
| There's no way that guy. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| Damn, people are watching the fuck out of this video. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is a big video. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The dog one is not. | ||
| People listening to this are not gonna like it. | ||
| I love these backstreet drivers. | ||
| Look at this comment. | ||
| Look at this comment here. | ||
| Click back on that. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, fair he didn't see him, but you're driving on an empty road. | |
| Why are you high beams not on to begin with? | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| Just shut the fuck up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| I mean, what country do you think? | ||
| Where was that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Isn't that funny? | |
| Like, everything that ever happens. | ||
| Someone's always like, oh, why did... | ||
| This is what you should have done. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You should have done it different. | |
| You should have. | ||
| Every now and then, you give him a slap. | ||
| That guy needs a slap. | ||
| A little slap. | ||
| Commenting on fucking Instagram. | ||
| Just a little slap. | ||
| That poor driver went through that hellish night. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That probably fucked him up. | ||
| Probably not. | ||
| You don't think? | ||
| No, he's probably on meth. | ||
| He's probably trying to get to his destination. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's just on meth. | |
| He's probably like, this is awesome! | ||
| He probably saw every sheet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Every one that he hit, he saw it crystal clear. | ||
| He probably sped up the video so it didn't look so bad. | ||
| He was going slow as fuck. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| Happened in Australia. | ||
| Oh, nice. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well over 100. Killing and injuring more than 100. There's a few still photos from the other angle. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| I like how they blurred out the sheep. | ||
| Aw, these poor guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Aw, where's my friends? | |
| Oh, fuck. | ||
| That's sad. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| That does suck. | ||
| Australia continues to bring the heat. | ||
| Doesn't say anything. | ||
| Every video they put out is the funniest video you've ever seen. | ||
| That's a wild place, man. | ||
| That is a wild place. | ||
| As many people as in Los Angeles, and it's the size of the United States, and the center of it is filled with death. | ||
| It's empty. | ||
| It's all death. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's all things that can kill you. | ||
| Death. | ||
| I talk about it a lot, obviously, but there's a video of a guy, not the one punching the kangaroo, that's the greatest. | ||
| There's a guy, like, hang gliding. | ||
| Hang gliding? | ||
| He's parachuting down. | ||
| And kangaroos just start chasing him. | ||
| And they start attacking him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's like, oh, get out of here, fucker! | |
| It's so funny. | ||
| Well, he's paragliding? | ||
| No, he's just landing a parachute. | ||
| Oh, you got it? | ||
| Oh, nice. | ||
| These two dickheads come and attack him. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Look at these dickheads. | ||
| Kangaroos can fuck you up, too. | ||
| That's the crazy thing, is people die from kangaroos. | ||
| So imagine the balls that kangaroos have. | ||
| This guy can fucking fly. | ||
| So scary. | ||
| And they come in and fuck you up. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And they're grabbing at you. | ||
| Imagine their balls, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fucking kangaroos. | |
| Fucking get out of here. | ||
| They are a plague over there. | ||
| You ever seen the herds of them? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's like fucking thousands of them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just running together. | ||
| And they have to shoot them. | ||
| Because they have no predators. | ||
| Really? | ||
| No predators. | ||
| I mean, I don't know what the fuck used to kill kangaroos. | ||
| Maybe the Tasmanian tigers? | ||
| Maybe? | ||
| The thylacine? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which they think still exist? | ||
| They think they're still out there. | ||
| How'd they die? | ||
| People killed them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| I mean, the last one was in a zoo. | ||
| The last live one they had was in a zoo. | ||
| They were dumb fucking... | ||
| They were dumb. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well... | |
| It was time to go for those guys. | ||
| They're weird looking. | ||
| It's like a strange dog looking kind of creature. | ||
| They're kind of cool. | ||
| And they have giant mouths. | ||
| When they yawn and open their mouths, they're like, what the fuck are you doing with all those teeth? | ||
| Yeah, it's got like a fucking alligator head. | ||
| Yeah, giant fucking mouth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They think they have them still in remote areas, though. | ||
| Because there's so much unexplored area, and people have spotted them. | ||
| What, in like Van Diemen's land? | ||
| You know. | ||
| Oh, they were marsupials? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, isn't that wild? | ||
| They had a pouch. | ||
| A lot of marsupials over there, which is also odd. | ||
| What a cool-looking fucking animal. | ||
| Yeah, I take it back. | ||
| That's a good guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They think they found... | ||
| Google thylacine spotted. | ||
| Spotted in Australia. | ||
| Sightings, 2021. There you go. | ||
| Click on that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, they think they've seen them. | |
| Tasmanian tiger-like animal caught on video to Suburban Street. | ||
| Yeah, they think they still exist, man. | ||
| Like a bunch of people have apparently spotted them in different places. | ||
| To the point where I had a biologist on the podcast who was explaining that there's multiple different scientists that are trying to find these things. | ||
| They have camera traps set up and shit. | ||
| And there's enough sightings that people are pretty sure that they're real. | ||
| That they actually still exist. | ||
| Which totally makes sense. | ||
| It's so big. | ||
| Imagine being the poor fucking guys that got exiled there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oof. | |
| There's just those fucking animals around. | ||
| Yeah, when they exiled them, they took the prisoners from England. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What'd they do? | ||
| Just drop them off and say, get out of there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, political prisoners would have to go, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| So there's a bunch of Irish dudes that had to go to Tasmania. | ||
| Mmm. | ||
| And you're just stuck there. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| I mean, they escaped. | ||
| They got off pretty easy. | ||
| I'm sure it wasn't easy. | ||
| I'm sure you died trying. | ||
| It's fucking beautiful, though. | ||
| The weather's amazing. | ||
| They're probably like, fuck England. | ||
| This place rules. | ||
| No, it's just you. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Just by yourself? | ||
| Fucking house. | ||
| Well, how'd the girls get over there? | ||
| They got some babes. | ||
| How'd they get over there? | ||
| They got some babes. | ||
| Was it local babes? | ||
| They must have imported girls. | ||
| Those are white girls. | ||
| Yeah, women got sent, too. | ||
| Oh, bad girls. | ||
| Whores. | ||
| Bad girls. | ||
| Whores and drunks. | ||
| Do you know that that's the Australian accent? | ||
| What? | ||
| The Australian accent is essentially a drunk English accent. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's pretty great. | ||
| Isn't that wild? | ||
| Yeah, I think they could only trade like rum. | ||
| That was like their main... | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's all they had? | |
| Yeah, like most... | ||
| I think that's how it was in the Caribbean too. | ||
| Yeah, they just had rum and they're like, fuck. | ||
| Fucking kangaroo, get out of here, fucker. | ||
| Ah, fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Literally. | |
| It's going on a walk, you get attacked. | ||
| It's a drunk version of the English accent. | ||
| English accent's gay. | ||
| You don't like it? | ||
| Not all of them. | ||
| The proper. | ||
| Liverpool's great accent. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Scousers. | ||
| The fucking... | ||
| Paddy the Batty. | ||
| Paddy the Batty's great. | ||
| I mean, we'll see. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Yeah, we'll see. | ||
| He's a fun guy. | ||
| He's a fun guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The Liverpool people, they're fucking fun. | ||
| When's he fighting again? | ||
| He's fighting Tony Ferguson, I believe in two weeks, right? | ||
| Yeah, in the next UFC. Tony Ferguson's fun. | ||
| Tony Ferguson's got some miles. | ||
| He's a fun guy. | ||
| Got some miles on that body. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's been training with David Goggins. | ||
| Oh, I saw that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's kind of... | ||
| Goggins is just fucking him up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wonder how good that is for you to run 100 miles. | ||
| We're going to find out. | ||
| It can't be good. | ||
| I'm no expert on fitness. | ||
| Well, fitness is important, but sparring is very important, too. | ||
| And timing is important, and training, and technique, and drilling, and being prepared to do specific things. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| When fighters get older, they can't move as good. | ||
| There's a bunch of shit that you don't see. | ||
| They might have knee things that you don't see. | ||
| They might have back things that you don't see. | ||
| So they look the same. | ||
| There's apparently a video of Tony Ferguson When he used to enter the octagon, how he used to move, versus now. | ||
| Oh yeah, he did that like crawl thing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Didn't he do that? | ||
| But it's also the contrast to the way his body moves. | ||
| Dude, in the old days, when Tony Ferguson was on this undefeated run, he was one of the baddest fucking man on the planet. | ||
| The fact that him and Khabib never got to fight is a real fucking tragedy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When he was in his prime, that's when he fell, just tripped on some wires backstage doing an interview, and ripped his fucking knee apart. | ||
| Just completely ripped his knee apart. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| Yeah, that's what happened. | ||
| That's why the fight got canceled. | ||
| And Al Iaquinta wound up fighting Khabib. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| It's like, he's just walking along, and he trips. | ||
| And his knee just explodes. | ||
| I mean, like severe, catastrophic knee injury. | ||
| He had to get everything fucking surgically reattached and months and months of rehab. | ||
| And he came back and he beat Anthony Pettis and he looked really fucking good. | ||
| But, you know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| An elite fighter can only operate at their highest level for so many years. | ||
| There's a window of time where you can operate at the highest RPMs. | ||
| So here it is. | ||
| This is from 2015. This is him moving around when he got into the octagon. | ||
| And this is 2019, still looking pretty good. | ||
| 2022, a little slower. | ||
| Yeah, quite a bit difference. | ||
| That's them knees are fucking feeling it now. | ||
| Now he's feeling it, right? | ||
| He's just moving different. | ||
| And they're saying sad. | ||
| And now here we are, 23. That Chandler knockout was rough. | ||
| The kick? | ||
| Got front kicks right to the jaw. | ||
| There's a photo of Chandler's foot connected on Tony's face. | ||
| It's like a fucking dolly painting. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| It's wild to look at what happens to someone's face when a foot impacts their fucking jaw. | ||
| Just this. | ||
| It's horrible. | ||
| It's horrible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Rough sport. | ||
| It is a rough sport. | ||
| I will say this about the cold plunge, I'm still cold. | ||
| Yeah, there it is. | ||
| Oh no! | ||
| Bro, how crazy is that? | ||
| I mean, that is a crazy photograph. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| He looked like he just turned a thousand years old. | ||
| Like they got him out of a glacier. | ||
| Like he was frozen in a glacier. | ||
| I mean, that's a perfect... | ||
| And look at Chandler's fucking quads. | ||
| Imagine how much power is in that. | ||
| Good lord. | ||
| Good lord. | ||
| Look at his body. | ||
| He's just a ball of tense muscle. | ||
| Just exploding on your face. | ||
|
unidentified
|
pause that sounded a lot more gay than I was trying to make it sound It happens. | |
| We're gonna do. | ||
| Have you seen the Cameron and Mace podcast? | ||
| I did. | ||
| It's as funny as it gets. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| The pause, the fucking... | ||
| They're just going after it. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Pause is so fucking funny. | ||
| They just went after it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like we were talking about this, that like they talk like people used to talk in the 90s. | ||
| Yeah, they're going. | ||
| They're telling stories, too. | ||
| They're just telling stories. | ||
| This is what we used to do. | ||
| They talk about, like, running trains on chicks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And they're laughing. | |
| They're both laughing so loud. | ||
| Yeah, it's as good as it gets. | ||
| It's really funny. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because they're not scared. | ||
| And that's the thing. | ||
| Like, everybody today's scared. | ||
| They're scared of telling the truth. | ||
| And these guys are just going for it. | ||
| They don't give a fuck. | ||
| And it's very, very funny. | ||
| Speaking of not giving a fuck. | ||
| True. | ||
| Hey, hey, longhorns. | ||
|
unidentified
|
True. | |
| I'm going to get a lot of flack for not wearing a Notre Dame hat right now. | ||
| Is Bud Light coming back? | ||
| Bud Light's back, baby. | ||
| I feel like it's coming back. | ||
| I'm not gay no more. | ||
| I am delivered! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I feel like it's coming back. | |
| I'm in the transfer portal, dude. | ||
| I'm out. | ||
| Notre Dame's done. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| I thought Jamie would like that. | ||
| He didn't care at all. | ||
| I like women. | ||
| I'm not gay no more! | ||
| For the record, Notre Dame's not done. | ||
| We're still the best. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't like men. | |
| I don't like women. | ||
| I said I like women. | ||
| Women, women, women. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, the fucking. | |
| I would not be a man. | ||
| I would not tear a purse. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I would not put on makeup. | |
| I will. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I will. | |
| Love. | ||
| A woman. | ||
| Yeah, the other guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The other guy's high-fiving. | |
| I don't know more. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I am deserved. - Over it! | |
| I said I like women. | ||
| Women, women, women. | ||
| I think this dude came out as gay after this, though. | ||
| Yeah, clearly he's gay. | ||
| He's so gay. | ||
| Didn't he afterwards? | ||
| He said, who am I kidding? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| After a while. | ||
| He tried his best. | ||
| He got socially pressured into being like, I'm not gay. | ||
| But the weird thing is when they start dancing around him. | ||
| It's all gay. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| There's a bunch of men dancing around him. | ||
| They're all real close. | ||
| They're high-fiving each other. | ||
| Yeah, they're like hugging and shit. | ||
| Yeah, we're so gay. | ||
| Mr. Delivered. | ||
| Mr. Delivered. | ||
| Delivered. | ||
| An internet sensation. | ||
| Radio personality known for his famous I'm Delivered video that went viral in 2014. Oh wow, so he's making something. | ||
| How many followers have you got? | ||
| 350,000. | ||
| Damn, 357. So let me see what he's up to now. | ||
| Lost a little weight. | ||
| Looking kind of slim. | ||
| He's looking good, dude. | ||
| But is he gay now? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, look at that photo. | ||
| Look at that photo down there. | ||
| Yeah, he's gay. | ||
| I mean, what is happening here? | ||
| He's back. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If he's not gay, he should consider it. | ||
| He is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was gay then. | ||
| He was gay. | ||
| He was gay. | ||
| What a tragedy. | ||
| Imagine being gay and people don't want you to be gay. | ||
| That has got to suck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because imagine if everyone was gay. | ||
| Because, like, if you're in high school right now and you're not gay, you're not even cool. | ||
| Yeah, if you're not trans, what are you? | ||
| You're a straight white man, you piece of shit. | ||
| You fucking scum. | ||
| You're responsible for everything. | ||
| You're like, what? | ||
| I'm 11. What did I do? | ||
| That doesn't change. | ||
| You get older, you go, wait a second, I didn't fucking do anything. | ||
| I didn't do anything! | ||
| I was just born! | ||
| Yeah, that was funny as fuck. | ||
| Simpson in the green room. | ||
| Maybe this isn't great for this, but we were talking about the Gypsy King. | ||
| We were talking about Tyson Fury. | ||
| We were talking about how Gypsy's like, you can't call him Gypsy. | ||
| You can't say Gypsy over there. | ||
| They get offended. | ||
| And Brian Simpson was like, well, they call each other Gypsy. | ||
| And I was like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know, it's crazy, right? | |
| It was perfect that he said it. | ||
| Yeah, it was crazy. | ||
| He's like, well, they say, they call each other gypsies. | ||
| And then we all just pause and fucking howling, and then we're howling. | ||
| And the whole room was howling. | ||
| He got it right away. | ||
| As soon as I was like, I know, crazy, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was like, fuck. | |
| Bro, that green room is my favorite spot on earth. | ||
| You going tonight? | ||
| I can't wait. | ||
| I'm going to be asleep, dude. | ||
| Are you? | ||
| Yeah, I did. | ||
| This is the true Joe Rogan experience. | ||
| Workout, podcast, stand-up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a tough day. | ||
| Really? | ||
| What else did you do? | ||
| Usually it's just lay down, stand up. | ||
| My shit's on? | ||
| Who is this? | ||
| I don't even know these people. | ||
| Answer it. | ||
| No, I'm getting WhatsApp calls. | ||
| How am I getting WhatsApp calls? | ||
| Is that from Argentina? | ||
| No, this one's not. | ||
| But I've gotten multiple WhatsApp calls today. | ||
| What if my phone number got leaked? | ||
| Under the WhatsApp? | ||
| I think I'm going to delete WhatsApp. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's no need for me to have that thing on there. | ||
| No, I had it. | ||
| I had it when I was living in Europe. | ||
| I didn't like it. | ||
| Yeah, for people in Europe, a lot of people don't have iPhones over there. | ||
| That's how they use WhatsApp. | ||
| How come it's so popular over there, but not over here? | ||
| What happened? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| They got it. | ||
| It's weird to, yeah, use a separate app to text. | ||
| Well, I think it's because it's free or something. | ||
| I don't think I understand anything. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let me delete that thing right now. | |
| Because it's been happening all day. | ||
| Are they still using it? | ||
| Something must have happened. | ||
| Delete it. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Bye, WhatsApp. | ||
| Cross-platform functionality. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know anything. | ||
| I don't either. | ||
| I just know my phone's been blowing up with WhatsApp. | ||
| When I think about WhatsApp, I think about what happened to Jeff Bezos. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Well, someone, I think it was the top dude in Saudi Arabia, sent him a link. | ||
| Here, click on this, my friend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And it was one of those- The black eyes with the dick? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Got him. | ||
| Somebody got me the other day with Floyd Mayweather. | ||
| I got that one. | ||
| I got sent that. | ||
| I saw the San Francisco Chronicle at the bottom. | ||
| That's how you know. | ||
| Segura, whenever he sends me something, I'm like, I know he got me. | ||
| I'm clicking anyway. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| He got me. | ||
| But the head guy sent Bezos a link. | ||
| And yeah, Jeff Bezos hack. | ||
| Amazon boss phone hacked by Saudi Crown Prince. | ||
| Wild. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Investigation suggests Washington Post's owner was targeted five months before murder of Jamal Khashoggi. | ||
| Yeah, because they were... | ||
| The Washington Post was doing some sort of an expose on MBS. And then that was before they killed Jamal Khashoggi. | ||
| And then they sent him a message like, hey, click on this. | ||
| And it uploaded Pegasus software to his phone. | ||
| And Pegasus is the Israeli spy software that allows them to read everything on your phone. | ||
| Apparently, though, according to Gavin DeBecker, who's a securities expert, that the new Pegasus, Pegasus 2, they don't even need a link. | ||
| They just need your phone number. | ||
| Like, it's over. | ||
| Like, all this idea of, like, encrypted this and fucking hidden that and... | ||
| I was trying to explain to a friend of mine. | ||
| He carries around one of those weird phones, which, you know, it's like an Android phone that has some sort of top-secret operating system. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And he thinks, like, no one can track me. | ||
| Are they making a factory? | ||
| I go, hold on. | ||
| Are you making phone calls? | ||
| Do you use text messages? | ||
| Okay, well, then your phone, it relates to the tower, and they know exactly where you are. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's one way, one way for you to hide the location. | ||
| You have to take your phone, and you have to shut it off, and then put it in a Faraday bag. | ||
| And he's like, what's a Faraday bag? | ||
| You ever heard of the company Silent? | ||
| No. | ||
| SLNT. They make backpacks. | ||
| And inside that backpack, there's a Faraday sleeve for your laptop and a Faraday sleeve for your iPhone or your phone. | ||
| And you put it in there and you vanish. | ||
| Who's doing that? | ||
| Who's vanishing? | ||
| A lot of people. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Well, I don't know if you know about the state of the world today, but a lot of people are being tracked. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Like, I have no need to vanish. | ||
| For now, you don't. | ||
| Yeah, but... | ||
| But if some shit gets weird... | ||
| Yeah, but how many people are getting... | ||
| Like, a company is making this for just regular dudes that are like, I need to get off the grid. | ||
| Yeah, because someone... | ||
| Like, say if you're in a divorce. | ||
| This is silent. | ||
| S-L-N-T. Reconnect your right to disconnect. | ||
| Yeah, if you, like, say if you're going through a divorce or something like that, and your wife fucking decides to trap your phone everywhere. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Black guy! | |
| Yeah. | ||
| He's got his hand up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey! | |
| This isn't good. | ||
| Get away. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| My bad. | ||
| They work. | ||
| It's very funny they're still doing like... | ||
| But once you start using your phone, they know where you are. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, if you're fucking hiding from the CIA, guess what? | ||
| You can't use a phone. | ||
| The CIA's gonna get you. | ||
| They're gonna get you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And eventually, you're gonna use someone else's phone. | ||
| They got the president. | ||
| They shot the president in the head. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They're gonna get you. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Also, who are you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are you doing? | |
| Yeah, who do you do? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't... | ||
| I mean, you, yeah. | ||
| Again, I'm not getting on a plane with you again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I assume. | |
| You're in trouble. | ||
| I assume. | ||
| They're going to get you. | ||
| They're listening to everything I say. | ||
| They got all my dick pics. | ||
| They got all my fucking, all my memes. | ||
| I'm just, I'm going to, every time I fucking jack off. | ||
| Speaking of, yesterday, the Grand Theft Auto thing leaked, the trailer leaked, and they said the way it happened is because they probably uploaded it to YouTube, and once you do that, no matter if a video is private or not, anyone, not anyone, but most people who work at YouTube, Have access to that now. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| So thousands of people had accessed that file and could have stolen it immediately. | ||
| Anyway, anytime I jack off, I'm always worried somebody gets that footage. | ||
| Your phone's looking at you? | ||
| It is, but yeah, if somebody sees that face, that face, just... | ||
| With a half-hard dip. | ||
| Are you thinking about quitting, but you're just determined to keep going? | ||
| Because you don't want to stop once you start. | ||
| We've got to see if that zinc works. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fucking... | ||
| Measure your loads. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A little scale. | |
| Oh, this was good today. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's see. | |
| I had five egg whites. | ||
| Yeah, that Waffle House paid off with a major load. | ||
| Yeah, if guys have little loads, they get sad. | ||
| It is depressing. | ||
| What's all that about? | ||
| Jamie, you have little loads. | ||
| How do you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
From... | |
| How do you know? | ||
| Don't worry about it, brother. | ||
| What the fuck are you saying? | ||
| I'm looking at. | ||
| What the fuck are you saying? | ||
| Do you have access to my phone? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He's got Pegasus 3. Yes. | ||
| Which only gets your fucking load. | ||
| I just go straight to Jamie. | ||
| Whenever you're linked to YouPorn, it fucking sends a notification to Shane's phone. | ||
| And he watches you whack on it. | ||
| My buddy got fucked. | ||
| He was... | ||
| Shout out Lemaire. | ||
| He's going to love this. | ||
| He's got some great stories. | ||
| One of them, we were on the road in fucking Milwaukee, and he was like, you know what, I'm going to try to find an orgy. | ||
| What? | ||
| Try to find an orgy? | ||
| If you knew this guy, it would be even crazier to see this guy being like, I should go to an orgy. | ||
| He just said, I'm going to go find it. | ||
| Who the fuck says that? | ||
| So he went on Reddit to Milwaukee's Gone Wild. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Whatever city we're in, he checks out their Gone Wild. | ||
| And they were like, we're having an orgy at the Days Inn. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For reference. | |
| Just so you know, that guy was, and then he got, he paid, they were like, it's $100 a ticket. | ||
| He was like, alright, deal. | ||
| Pays him $100, takes an Uber to the Days Inn in Milwaukee at like 3am. | ||
| He gets there. | ||
| He's in the lobby. | ||
| He's like, hey, can you guys, I'm here. | ||
| And they're like, we're too busy fucking, we can't let you in. | ||
| It's just a complete scam. | ||
| And he gets back to my house. | ||
| We're in New York. | ||
| And he's like, I gotta fuck it. | ||
| He's like, I'm gonna message him and be like, give me that fucking money back. | ||
| So he messages him and they're like, they must have his location somehow. | ||
| So he messages them and he's like, hey, you guys fucked me on that. | ||
| And they're like, actually, we're doing an orgy in Brooklyn tonight. | ||
| We'll give you half off if you want to come to that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my gosh. | |
| It's like, dude, they just keep taking his money. | ||
| He's so dumb. | ||
| They just keep taking his money. | ||
| He's so dumb and he's just horny. | ||
| He's like, yeah, yeah, it's worth it. | ||
| I could be wrong. | ||
| They might have got him on a FaceTime. | ||
| Somebody might have got him on a jacking off on FaceTime. | ||
| How'd they do that? | ||
| They say they're a girl. | ||
| They don't show you who they are. | ||
| They keep their screen black. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, boy. | |
| You whack off, they go, you owe us $5,000 and we're going to release that video. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, Lamare. | |
| Shout out, Lamare. | ||
| I just fucked him. | ||
| My bad, Lamare. | ||
| I love you, dude. | ||
| Listen, what is it going to do to him? | ||
| It's a funny story. | ||
| It'll help his career. | ||
| He's told that story before. | ||
| Yeah, it'll help his career. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the thing about being a comic. | ||
| It's not like being a journalist. | ||
| You know? | ||
| If you're a journalist and you get busted, jacking off to FaceTime, like, you're in real trouble. | ||
| Like that Jeffrey Toobin guy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That guy was in real trouble. | ||
| Like, he lost his job. | ||
| I think they brought him back on CNN, but everybody just kept calling him the jerk-off guy. | ||
| That's over. | ||
| You're done. | ||
| And then he went on Patrick Beck-David's podcast. | ||
| He was, like, defending the vaccine like it was a religious doctrine. | ||
| It was wild. | ||
| It's like this guy was so scared of being canceled. | ||
| Everything was completely by the book. | ||
| Whatever the narrative is that the mainstream media is pushing, this guy was all in with no questions asked. | ||
| He was jacked off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's just how it is. | ||
| That's just how it is. | ||
| If you're one of those guys, you can't... | ||
| It's fucking dangerous if you want those guys. | ||
| You don't want them coming for you again. | ||
| You already got caught jacking off. | ||
| Getting caught jacking off is brutal. | ||
| That's a tough one. | ||
| On a fucking Zoom. | ||
| The fact that you can't stop jerking off while you're talking about the election. | ||
| That just means the whole time he was talking, in the back of his head, he was like, I'm a jack-off. | ||
| Well, that's a real person, as opposed to what these people portray themselves in the media as these, like, moral authorities and these experts and these people of substantial reason. | ||
| They're not that. | ||
| They're fucking weirdos who are being confined by this job and they're boxed into a very specific way of behaving and talking and they put makeup on you and they sit you in front of a camera and you talk about whatever the fuck they tell you to talk about and you pretend you're smarter than everybody else. | ||
| And when those people go on a show where they get questioned, like that guy went on the Patrick Bette David podcast, you just see who they really are. | ||
| It's like, oh, you're just some guy and this is what you do. | ||
| And they work for both. | ||
| They work for CNN and Fox. | ||
| They're like girlfriends. | ||
| Yeah, they go back. | ||
| Whoever I'm dating, that's my personality. | ||
| Well, didn't Tucker Carlson start at CNN? Yes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's buck wild now. | ||
| His laugh's wild. | ||
| He's wild. | ||
| I met him for the first time. | ||
| I heard he's a man. | ||
| Very nice guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Very nice guy. | ||
| Like, seemed genuine. | ||
| Shook his hand. | ||
| How you doing? | ||
| We talk. | ||
| Chit-chat. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everything I've seen of him, he seems cool. | ||
| Listen, man. | ||
| I wouldn't describe him as cool. | ||
| This is what he is. | ||
| He's odd. | ||
| He's odd. | ||
| There's no question about it. | ||
| He's odd. | ||
| The way he laughs is odd. | ||
| The way he communicates is odd. | ||
| But I don't think he's a bad guy at all. | ||
| I think what he does is very important, for the most part. | ||
| Some of the stuff is like... | ||
| Like, when he found the dude who blew Obama. | ||
| Like, yo! | ||
| What are you doing here? | ||
| Like, what is this? | ||
| I mean, this is the same guy that's exposing fraud in the CIA. This is the same guy that wants to release the Kennedy files. | ||
| And then he's like, also, this guy blew the president. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| Even if he did, who fucking cares? | ||
| I kind of want to know. | ||
| But who can't? | ||
| I'm kind of happy he did it. | ||
| That's big news. | ||
| I know, but is it shocking? | ||
| I mean, if you're a guy and you're running for president and you're gay, you're not telling anybody. | ||
| Not in this day and age. | ||
| There's just way too many people that wouldn't, they would think you're a freak. | ||
| There's way too many people that unfairly associate gay people with some other kind of perversion as well. | ||
| They don't just think this is just, you know, just like how you like women, this guy likes men, we should all be free. | ||
| And clearly, It is how he is. | ||
| This is not some wacky thing like being addicted to gambling. | ||
| This is like a thing that is in your genes, and we need to accept it. | ||
| If we're going to be a kind, compassionate society, we need to accept it. | ||
| But there's a lot of people that automatically will associate homosexuality with some kind of perversion for whatever unfortunate reason. | ||
| Well, the reason is because it's guys fucking each other in the butt. | ||
| So that throws people off. | ||
| That throws people off a little bit. | ||
| But that should be completely legal. | ||
| It gets lumped into, like, pedophilia. | ||
| And then whenever there's a pedophile that happens to be gay, then people are like, see? | ||
| But there's just a lot of pedophiles. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, that's the creepiest thing. | ||
| Oh, I got sent in a documentary last night about this lady. | ||
| This lady who fucked a 12-year-old student, and she got pregnant. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh... | |
| Fuck's her name. | ||
| Why does that not bother me nearly as much as male pedophiles? | ||
| Because it's fucking cool. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| He found out about something cool later. | ||
| He found out about something cool a little sooner than he should have. | ||
| Although I think he got... | ||
| I think he got a little damaged. | ||
| Of course he got damaged. | ||
| I'm just kidding. | ||
| I have a friend of mine that got really fucked up by that. | ||
| Yeah, Mary Kay... | ||
| Oh, this is similar too, but... | ||
| No, that's the... | ||
| Oh, well, that was the one I got. | ||
| It was the Mary Kay one. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mmm. | |
| Mary Kay Letourneau. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| That was a famous one. | ||
| It's a wild lady. | ||
| He was 13. She started to have sex with him when he was 13. Damn, she was already the mother of four and had a marriage that was disintegrating. | ||
| Yeah, obviously. | ||
| Imagine the first sex you get, you don't even get to have sex with a fellow teenager. | ||
| You gotta bang this old lady who's had 50 kids. | ||
| You don't even know! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean... | |
| That's him now, dude. | ||
| I think they got married after they split up and she went to jail and then they still got married. | ||
| Oh, she passed away in 2020. Yeah. | ||
| Oh, of what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Died at 58. I think she had butt cancer. | |
| I swear to God. | ||
| No, he's serious. | ||
| I swear to God. | ||
| He was just shooting loads in there forever. | ||
| That's like probably so bad for your butt. | ||
| Cum? | ||
| You got a bunch of cum in there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm just guessing. | |
| Could be bad for you. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It might be bad. | |
| Probably not good. | ||
| Otherwise, everybody would do it. | ||
| Imagine if that was the key to longevity. | ||
| We have found, you know, this is the reason why ancient cultures- I mean, if I had to do it. | ||
| If you had to do it. | ||
| No. | ||
| If you had to fuck a guy. | ||
| I was telling Tony the other day, I'd fuck a guy who still wears a mask. | ||
| Like, shut up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You'd violently fuck a guy. | ||
| If the guy's still wearing a mask in 2023, I'll pick him. | ||
| I still, yeah. | ||
| I saw a guy on the plane yesterday wearing a mask. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Rock hard when I saw him. | ||
| Listen, I feel bad for them. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| At this point, I feel bad for them. | ||
| I just feel like they're just not getting good information. | ||
| They're lost. | ||
| They're scared. | ||
| They're confused. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I get it. | |
| I get the... | ||
| It did, that fucked me up as far as like, cause for like a year I was afraid of like talking close to people. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I was afraid for quite a few months. | ||
| For however long that was, that like fucked me up for a while. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I feel like until I got to Texas I was afraid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But LA was afraid. | ||
| Like it was in the air. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like people were freaked the fuck out, man. | ||
| They were weirded out. | ||
| Like Bill Burr in his podcast was yelling at someone who was across the street who didn't have a mask on. | ||
| He talked about it on the podcast. | ||
| What, no mask? | ||
| Bill was all in on that nonsense. | ||
| He was. | ||
| But I swear to God, it's in the air there. | ||
| I feel like if he was here, he wouldn't have done that. | ||
| There's a thing that's real, and you could feel it when you go to other countries for sure, is that people have, there's a different vibe that the people there have. | ||
| And if you're, we are, vibes and people's thoughts and their energy, It's very contagious. | ||
| It's very contagious. | ||
| And if you're around people that are freaked out, you're going to be more freaked out than you would be if you're around people who weren't. | ||
| And most people have a certain level of anxiety anyway. | ||
| I mean, there's a reason why they're selling so much Xanax. | ||
| There's a reason why so many people are on SSRIs. | ||
| There's a lot of people out there that are not on a good path, whether it's because of their own fault or whether it's decisions that were made that affected them or there's the way they were raised or the fucking environment they find themselves in. | ||
| I'm not casting any blame on people. | ||
| But there's a certain percentage of the population that is just already fucked up And then COVID came along. | ||
| And I think there was more people that are already fucked up in these high-population urban areas. | ||
| And I think it's just natural. | ||
| Because I don't think people are supposed to be stacked on top of each other like that. | ||
| Like, one of the things that I felt when I went to Scotland, you feel relaxed. | ||
| Like, almost immediately. | ||
| And I was like... | ||
| And we were all talking about this. | ||
| We were like, I think when you're around a shit ton of people, whether you recognize it or not, there's something you're experiencing. | ||
| There's energy you're experiencing. | ||
| Whether it's just because there's so many numbers and you're paying attention to all these different people and kind of like seeing, looking around you and taking in all this data, whether it's a lot of noise, or whether it's like there's physical energy that comes off of people that we just don't know how to measure yet. | ||
| I'm more inclined to think that. | ||
| Because this is why I like the mountains so much. | ||
| When I go to the mountains, dude, I feel better. | ||
| Like, you feel like... | ||
| Like, whatever the fuck is fucking with people in cities. | ||
| And so if you go to cities and everybody's all ramped up and crazy. | ||
| Like, why are they so ramped up like that, but they're not in Scotland? | ||
| Because you're not supposed to be stacked on top of each other like that. | ||
| This is some new thing we're trying out. | ||
| Yeah, I get in a bad mood. | ||
| It's not good for you. | ||
| You gotta walk by and someone's slow. | ||
| Oh, God, yeah. | ||
| I'm just furious all day. | ||
| And people in New York, they behave as if you're not gonna punch them. | ||
| They, like, knock into you and talk shit. | ||
| I've seen people talk shit to people for no reason on the street. | ||
| Like, this is wild. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And they get punched. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They should get punched. | ||
| In New York, they continuously get punched and keep going. | ||
| Some guy hit my fucking car with a briefcase once. | ||
| And I came that close to stopping the car. | ||
| I was coming home from some stupid fucking audition that I didn't want to do, and this dork, this dork in his glasses, and I was in the intersection, and my light was green, and they were all jaywalking, and he just decided to hit my fucking car with his fucking briefcase. | ||
| If it wasn't a piece of shit car, I might have brained him. | ||
| I was thinking about braining him. | ||
| Spinning back heel. | ||
| I was just gonna hit the fucking e-brake and just run out and brain him. | ||
| Just shut him off. | ||
| And no one would do anything. | ||
| Back then I could have got away with it too, because this is the 90s. | ||
| It wasn't like there was cameras anywhere. | ||
| Because his head probably would have bounced off the concrete. | ||
| And that would have been a wrap. | ||
| That's how people die, dude. | ||
| Like, if you're gonna brain someone in the street, you really should kick them in the body. | ||
| You hit them with the body. | ||
| You gotta body kick them. | ||
| Yeah, you really should body kick them. | ||
| Because you don't want to kill them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You don't want them to hurt. | ||
| If you kick someone in the head in the street, you very, very likely could kill them. | ||
| There's like a two out of ten possibility that you're gonna kill them. | ||
| That would get you some respect in prison, though. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| If they're like, what's he in for? | ||
| He hit my fucking car with a briefcase. | ||
| I round-housed him and he died. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| The earth killed him. | ||
| I didn't kill him. | ||
| I just knocked him out. | ||
| You know cum's good for your butt? | ||
| I heard it's bad for your butt. | ||
| That's what I heard. | ||
| I heard it's bad. | ||
| I just don't like the level of tension that's involved when there's so many people around. | ||
| I mean, it's still here. | ||
| It's in Austin. | ||
| There's like this attitude. | ||
| This urban attitude. | ||
| Yeah, it's not that bad here, though. | ||
| Dude, there's just not enough people here. | ||
| The level, the feeling, why I got here when I first moved here, I was like, oh, this is the right number of people. | ||
| It's like a number of people where you can sustain great restaurants, you can sustain a great university, you can sustain a bunch of good businesses. | ||
| It's plenty big. | ||
| Yeah, it's definitely better than New York as far as... | ||
| Oh, God, yeah. | ||
| Although I was there yesterday and just... | ||
| See the plaza near the Central Park? | ||
| It was fucking nice. | ||
| I was just walking around. | ||
| Dude, I love visiting. | ||
| It was very nice. | ||
| I love visiting New York. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I got these guys in the Bronx, GNR Deli. | ||
| You ever have... | ||
| No. | ||
| Dude, this is like the best Italian sub I've ever had in my fucking life. | ||
| It's called the Bronx Godfather. | ||
| We went, and the last time we went for the UFC... These fucking wops are never original. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| You Italians. | ||
| Like, this one's the godfather. | ||
| I didn't name it. | ||
| You Italians. | ||
| My people named it. | ||
| But, dude, it's fucking, it's the best food. | ||
| It's terrible for you. | ||
| These people all look like they're just filled with inflammation. | ||
| They're just eating pasta all day. | ||
| But goddamn, they look like they're having a great time. | ||
| They're having a great time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And they're eating. | ||
| God bless. | ||
| Just grow up, dude. | ||
| Just grow up. | ||
| Forget about your diet. | ||
| This guy always says that. | ||
| Forget about your diet. | ||
| Then they watch the Yankees not make the playoffs. | ||
| Fuck! | ||
| Fuck, that's what I wanted. | ||
| Come on, look at this guy's subs. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| Tell me that's a chicken cutlet. | ||
| Come on, son. | ||
| Look at this sandwich. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| We're slicing this thing open. | ||
| Tell me you're not hungry. | ||
| Actually, I am hungry. | ||
| Look at these guys. | ||
| He's hungry, too. | ||
| Look at his face. | ||
| He was about to fuck. | ||
| That's my friend Tommy. | ||
| That's my friend Tommy Jr. I've been friends with that dude for 30 years. | ||
| He's about to fuck one of these sandwiches. | ||
| You could fuck one of those sandwiches. | ||
| You could if you had to. | ||
| No problem. | ||
| Great people, though. | ||
| Fucking the nicest people. | ||
| Salted the earth. | ||
| And the food is insane. | ||
| But I just... | ||
| I don't know how we got to that. | ||
| What were we talking about? | ||
| How did we get to sandwiches? | ||
| Living in the city sucks, but I was just in New York. | ||
| But they have great food. | ||
| New York has the best Italian food. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| I fucking love going there. | ||
| I love going there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wouldn't say I miss New York, but I do. | ||
| I like going. | ||
| New York rules. | ||
| I just don't want to live there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm too whatever it is. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| I like wilderness. | ||
| I want a ranch. | ||
| That's what I want. | ||
| I want some place where there's like, I wake up, I see deer and I hear birds chirping and shit. | ||
| That's what I like. | ||
| It is fun to see deer. | ||
| I got a house, my family and we have a house in the Poconos. | ||
| Oh, nice. | ||
| But those deer are shitty. | ||
| They're like scraggly. | ||
| They're fucked up deer. | ||
| They're always around the house and they're fucking dirty. | ||
| They probably have a lot of diseases, too. | ||
| You see them and you're like, oh, nice, deer. | ||
| And then you see them up close, you're like, oh, no. | ||
| There's a thing called CWD, chronic wasting disease. | ||
| It's tearing through deer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And to the point where there's a lot of people that are scared to eat deer in certain places, like in certain spots in Wisconsin. | ||
| My buddy Doug Duren, he is a part of this conservation effort to try to, like, mitigate this spread of this disease. | ||
| And they're trying to actually shoot more deer. | ||
| Because they're trying to lower the population so that there's less of them. | ||
| It is funny that hunters, I know it is the correct move, but it's always like, we're going to have to kill more of them. | ||
| Sorry, we're going to have to kill more of them. | ||
| But they really do in this case because, you know, if you've ever been in the Midwest, the fucking deer are everywhere. | ||
| My buddy John Dudley, Owns a hunting farm, okay? | ||
| This guy is like one of the best bow hunters on earth. | ||
| He teaches archery. | ||
| It's a different level. | ||
| You know how I opened up the mothership? | ||
| Well, this guy developed his deer farm. | ||
| It's like one of those type deals. | ||
| And there's a few of these guys. | ||
| There's another guy named Lee Lakoski. | ||
| He has a similar situation. | ||
| And they live in Iowa just to hunt deer. | ||
| It's a religion, dude. | ||
| They have cameras set up all around the property so they can find out when a guy is in the neighborhood. | ||
| Because these big bucks are smart. | ||
| And they know they're being hunted. | ||
| And so most of them go nocturnal. | ||
| Until the ladies want to party. | ||
| And that's when you get them. | ||
| When they wind up, hunting season is during the rut. | ||
| You gotta risk it all. | ||
| They get so horny that guys have made videos where they walk right up to a deer. | ||
| Like this big deer is just standing there in the middle of the woods. | ||
| They walk right up to him and touch him and go, hey man, you okay? | ||
| No, he's not, dude. | ||
| He's so fucked out. | ||
| He's as horny as it gets. | ||
| He's probably fucked out. | ||
| He probably fucked like 30 does that day. | ||
| And he's like standing- Fucking kill me. | ||
| Kill me, dude. | ||
| I'm done. | ||
| He's been listening to 30 stupid stories and fucking- And then she said to me, and I was like, you're not going to talk to me like that. | ||
| Even you starting to say that, my brain shut off. | ||
| And then she said, I was just like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| She just went into a dark place! | ||
| But there's so many videos of guys walking up to a deer and touching it with an arrow. | ||
| Like, hey man, you alright? | ||
| Like, what the fuck are you doing here? | ||
| And the deer's like, huh? | ||
| He's just horny, bro. | ||
| They're just so fucked out or so horny that they literally are so confused that they let someone walk right up to them. | ||
| Like, that's how much it affects the brain. | ||
| And they only get to fuck once a year. | ||
| So imagine. | ||
| Human beings are like that, but human beings, we can have sex 365 days a year. | ||
| Just imagine if all human beings only bred in November. | ||
| And so fucking November rolls around and everybody goes crazy. | ||
| That's what it's like in the deer world. | ||
| It would be war. | ||
|
unidentified
|
War! | |
| It would be war every November would be. | ||
| It would be horrific. | ||
| You'd have to hide your family. | ||
| Look at this deer. | ||
| During the rut, with his arrow. | ||
| Hey, bro. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's like, huh? | |
| Go away, man. | ||
| You need to go sleep it off. | ||
| You gotta go to sleep. | ||
| He can't even stand. | ||
| Look, he's standing cockeyed. | ||
| Finally he figured it out. | ||
| Finally he snapped out of it and took off. | ||
| That is wild, dude. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| That was scary. | ||
| And shout out to that dude for not smoking it. | ||
| He should have point blanked it. | ||
| Because he had a fucking arrow in his hand! | ||
| He could have smoked it! | ||
| That shows how many hunters are out there that are like that guy. | ||
| They're ethical. | ||
| Also, that's a little deer. | ||
| You don't really want to shoot that deer. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Let me see that again. | ||
| That's a little pumper. | ||
| That is a... | ||
| Yeah, that's like a one-year-old deer. | ||
| See how he has very tiny antlers? | ||
| Maybe two. | ||
| He might be two years old. | ||
| But that's about it. | ||
| He's not old. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| But if you were in a place that has low deer population density or low buck density... | ||
| Some places, they just shoot any buck, because you can shoot any buck. | ||
| Some places have different rules. | ||
| They have to have fork tines. | ||
| They can't be like stubs. | ||
| They can't be what's called a button buck. | ||
| What a button buck is. | ||
| They're so young, they barely have antlers. | ||
| They have this little nub, but they're still a male. | ||
| So you're technically allowed to shoot. | ||
| I'm a button buck. | ||
| You saw me in that ice punch. | ||
| That ice punch doesn't count. | ||
| That's not fair. | ||
| Your dick's gone. | ||
| Yeah, 37 degrees for three minutes, your dick's gone. | ||
| And with that water flowing too. | ||
| I took a shower after. | ||
| That one's rougher. | ||
| The blue cube, the one we have in the studio, that's the roughest one. | ||
| That's the roughest point. | ||
| I will say this about cold plunges. | ||
| The only thing you do after you do a cold plunge is tell people you took a cold plunge. | ||
| You can't shut the fuck up. | ||
| I can't shut the fuck up about it. | ||
| It's like people get into yoga. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They can't shut the fuck up. | ||
| I understand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because they feel good. | |
| I've always judged those people. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now every conversation I have is- I've been those people. | ||
| I'm in the cold plunge. | ||
| I am those people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm those people with almost everything I like. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a problem. | ||
| Not really. | ||
| But that fucking thing is awesome. | ||
| I thought you were wrong about the cold plunge. | ||
| No, I wouldn't. | ||
| Me, Ari, and Mark stuck our fucking, just our hands in the cold plunge to see if we could do 30 seconds. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it was like, no, fuck this, I'm never doing it. | ||
| Neymar, you did three minutes today. | ||
| Look at you, you're a stud now. | ||
| No, no, I just needed you standing there going, get in there, bitch! | ||
| Get in there, pussy! | ||
| And I was like, I'm not a pussy, Joe! | ||
| Come on, man, you got in pretty easy. | ||
| The first time you did it was rough, but now you're pretty accustomed. | ||
| Well, the first time you get in, it sucks the fucking wind down. | ||
| You've done it at least, what, eight, nine times now? | ||
| How many times you've done it? | ||
| Yeah, every time. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I enjoy it. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| I enjoy being done with it. | ||
| How good does it feel when you get out of there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You feel like you're on the best drug. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Like a super manageable drug. | ||
| Genuinely feels like Molly. | ||
| Like if someone ever wants to borrow money, they need to catch me right when I'm coming out of the sauna. | ||
| Right when I'm coming out of the sauna or the cold plunge. | ||
| I've also noticed when I get out of it, I can't shut the fuck up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I get out, I'm just yapping. | ||
| Giddy. | ||
| You're just giddy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's nice. | ||
| I haven't been happy in a while, so it's good. | ||
| You can be happy every day. | ||
| Just get one of those fucking things for your backyard. | ||
| We'll hook it up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| Dude, you should have one. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Well, you're going to have to come over and call me a pussy. | ||
| I'll come over. | ||
| You're not that far away from me. | ||
| Otherwise, I'll never get in there. | ||
| You don't live that far away from me. | ||
| I will drive over your house before shows, and we'll both do it together. | ||
| Call me gay. | ||
| Yeah, we'll both do it together. | ||
| I'll do it. | ||
| It'd be great to do right before a show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Wake you right up. | ||
| And you feel like... | ||
| You know that sometimes... | ||
| When you have, like, Saturday shows and you're like, fuck, you went out Friday night, and then you slept in the hotel, and you didn't get good sleep because you're not at home, and then you have lunch, and it's not very good for you, whatever the fuck you're eating, and then you're like, okay, it's 6, the show's at 8, fuck. | ||
| I gotta wake up. | ||
| I usually jack off and take a nap. | ||
| That'll work. | ||
| It does something. | ||
| I don't know if it helps. | ||
| I literally wake up 20 minutes before the car's coming, and I'm like, oh, shit. | ||
| You forget you're doing a show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| Yeah. | ||
| If you had a cold plunge in your room, just plop in there. | ||
| You're on the path to making yourself a better person, Shane. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck? | |
| Do you feel this? | ||
| Do you feel this? | ||
| You're on a spiritual journey. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Inside joke. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I am on a spiritual journey right now. | ||
| No, yeah, that'd be cool to be better. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, these workouts will help. | ||
| All you have to do is just stay consistent. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Stay consistent. | ||
| Everybody feels better. | ||
| I mean, we were talking about Hassan today. | ||
| He's like, God, I feel so much better. | ||
| He was saying that he's getting more attractive women hitting him up on dating apps. | ||
| I'm like, I don't think it's... | ||
| We had to let that. | ||
| We had to let that go. | ||
| We heard Hassan and Hassan was like, I'm definitely getting stronger. | ||
| I'm getting more attractive women on dating sites to respond. | ||
| I think it's because of my five workouts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's awesome, though. | ||
| But he does feel better. | ||
| He feels better. | ||
| More confidence. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How wild is it that he was doing that Muslim prayer? | ||
| So, for people who don't know, our friend Hassan, it's a hilarious comic, works at the mothership. | ||
| He can't... | ||
| He does not understand Arabic, but he can read it and write it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which is like... | ||
| So crazy. | ||
| He was taught to read it and write it when he was a kid. | ||
| And he can recite Muslim prayers, but he doesn't know what they mean. | ||
| Which is like, what? | ||
| That was clearly just autism. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| As soon as he said it, I was like, oh shit, now it makes sense. | ||
| I've heard you say some wacky shit. | ||
| Now I know. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| A touch of the tism. | ||
| He's got a little, yeah. | ||
| A touch of the tism is a superpower. | ||
| It certainly is. | ||
| I feel like it is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wish I had more. | ||
| I like to crank it up by like 2%. | ||
| Turn it up a little. | ||
| Turn it up. | ||
| I have CTE for sure. | ||
| I got a little of that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I must. | ||
| I must. | ||
| I get hit in the head too many times. | ||
| All the things that I know now about people that get hit in the head, I'm like, yeah, it does something. | ||
| Yeah, I got hit in the head for like 10 years. | ||
| And then I also probably have toxoplasmosis because I used to have a wild cat. | ||
| Most likely I got that too. | ||
| And I always had cats when I was a kid and they always went out. | ||
| Like, cats... | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| If you got cats, you're fucking... | ||
| You gotta let them out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You gotta let them outside. | ||
| But they're a bunch of little fucking murderers. | ||
| But... | ||
| I'm a big fan of that. | ||
| I'm a big fan of letting them out, too. | ||
| But the thing is, like, you're gonna get toxo. | ||
| Like, your cat's gonna get toxo. | ||
| And you're probably gonna get it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What's it do? | ||
| It affects your thinking. | ||
| Makes you more rational. | ||
| More irrational? | ||
| Yeah, there's a disproportionate number of motorcycle victims. | ||
| Motorcycle crash victims. | ||
| You got bit by cats? | ||
| That test positive for toxoplasmosis. | ||
| They don't know if there's a correlation, but they do think it affects your impulse control. | ||
| There's also a disproportionate number of successful soccer teams that come from places that have high levels of toxoplasmosis. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They don't know if that's because there's a lot of really successful soccer teams that come from third world countries and poorer countries. | ||
| That's possible too. | ||
| But it also might be just it makes you wilder. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like it might like literally possibly could change cultures. | ||
| At one point in time, France, 50% of the country tested positive for it. | ||
| They're just wild people. | ||
| Who's wilder than French? | ||
| The French are wild, bro. | ||
| Those are some wild people. | ||
| I saw Napoleon. | ||
| How was it? | ||
| I loved it. | ||
| You did? | ||
| I loved it. | ||
| Why do people not like it? | ||
| Here's what I think. | ||
| I think Ridley Scott made Napoleon like a human. | ||
| Well, Joaquin Phoenix did it. | ||
| Made him like a human being. | ||
| Like, he says dumb shit, he fucks up. | ||
| Usually if you're watching a historical movie, you want him to be speaking well the entire time, totally in control. | ||
| Yeah, this is a guy that's like... | ||
| An actual human. | ||
| He's a human the whole time. | ||
| But every time they cut to a scene where he's fucking his wife, it's so funny. | ||
| It's just him doggy. | ||
| All he does is doggy style. | ||
| That was his name? | ||
| I don't think that's historically accurate. | ||
| They just cut to him and Josephine. | ||
| It's pretty great. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| So how many sex scenes are in the movie? | ||
| There's two that I can definitely remember. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And both of them are... | ||
| Doggy style. | ||
| ...hard cut to him doggy style. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wonder why. | ||
| I wonder when people figured out you could have sex looking at each other. | ||
| Because most animals are doggy style. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, all of them, in fact. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| I would imagine... | ||
| I don't want to turn this into some type of freak shit, but I saw a funny video of a gorilla doggy styling another gorilla at the fucking... | ||
| It's just kids watching at the zoo. | ||
| He's like... | ||
| It's funny how human they look when they fuck. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| They have little tiny dicks. | ||
| Gorillas? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Chimps have big dicks. | ||
| Do you know why? | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because chimp females are more promiscuous. | ||
| Gorillas also have little balls. | ||
| This is interesting. | ||
| In primates, there's a direct relationship between the number of promiscuous females that are nearby and the size of the male's testicles. | ||
| I'm wild. | ||
| That's a crazy fact. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| That's an interesting fact. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's why chimps have giant nuts. | ||
| Because chimp ladies are wild. | ||
| They want big nuts? | ||
| Yeah, they want big nuts. | ||
| But they need a lot of loads. | ||
| They're going to war. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Trying to make babies. | ||
| Those guys are having a tough time. | ||
| They're having a tough time. | ||
| I wouldn't, yeah. | ||
| That Chimp Empire shit bugged me out. | ||
| I didn't like it. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| I liked the dude in the beginning of Chimp Empire, the guy, there's the first scene where they go fight the other colony, and he's like, I'm out of here, this is too much. | ||
| And then they catch him, the other colony caught him on the way back and killed him. | ||
| Yeah, and killed him. | ||
| I respected him just being like, I know you guys are going to make fun of me when we get back. | ||
| This is scary, I'm going home. | ||
| You can't even join the other team. | ||
| They got ripped apart. | ||
| At least some armies, even the Mongols, they used to take in other warriors and go, hey, join us. | ||
| We're going to have to kill you. | ||
| I wonder if chimps ever do that. | ||
| Well, something has to happen, right? | ||
| Because they do branch off. | ||
| They were saying that there was one clan that was a part of another group. | ||
| I bet they'd just start fucking the ladies. | ||
| What do they call a tribe? | ||
| Is it a tribe? | ||
| What do they call them? | ||
| A troop? | ||
| A troop of chimps? | ||
| I could be wrong on that one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jamie, what are you doing over there? | |
| I'm talking about gorillas fucking. | ||
| You didn't even bring it up. | ||
| I'm following all along here. | ||
| I was looking for doggy style scenes in Napoleon, actually. | ||
| Oh, that's good. | ||
| I would like to see that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I thought I had something, but I'd lost it. | |
| Now we're on the new stuff, so I've had to switch. | ||
| Could you please find gorillas fucking at the zoo? | ||
| What was the other thing? | ||
| And then... | ||
| Right after Gorillaz. | ||
| Troops? | ||
| Oh yeah, what is the group? | ||
| What are they called? | ||
| A tribe? | ||
| A clan? | ||
| A group of apes or chimpanzees is a shrewdness. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Yeah, those are fun. | ||
| A shrewdness? | ||
| That can't be right. | ||
| Yeah, this group is called a shrewdness. | ||
| Is that like the British where they spell tire with a Y? Yeah, that's bullshit, dude. | ||
| Your tires? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Tires with a Y. Oh, baboons are a troop. | ||
| Wow, a shrewdness. | ||
| Baboons are a troop. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Ants are a colony or an army. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| That guy Sapolsky, Robert Sapolsky, who did all the research on toxoplasmosis, he was the one I found out about the disproportionate number of motorcycle victims. | ||
| He also did some crazy work with baboons. | ||
| And one of the things they found, these baboons, they had these really rough Alpha males, like evil, mean, brutal, bully alpha males. | ||
| And they were getting food from this resort. | ||
| They were getting food from the garbage. | ||
| So like hundreds of them would go to the garbage in the resort and tear it apart. | ||
| And this one, here we go. | ||
| Hey! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| It's so funny, dude. | ||
| Ass on him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good lord. | |
| It's so funny. | ||
| Imagine what kind of deadlifts he could do. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But look how short his strokes are. | ||
| See what I'm saying? | ||
| Yeah, been there, brother. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's exactly how I fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's how you fuck. | |
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Nice and slow. | ||
| Get the fuck out of there, kid. | ||
| The child's coming to look. | ||
| He's gonna get under there. | ||
| Child's gonna tickle his balls. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| No rules at all. | ||
| The child's gonna get... | ||
| That's a baby chimp, man. | ||
| That's a baby chimp just going, what are you doing to my mom? | ||
| Yes, dude, help! | ||
| Push! | ||
| Push! | ||
| How may I help you push? | ||
| I mean, that's... | ||
| So, these baboons... | ||
| That's not the one I was talking about. | ||
| The mean ones got to the garbage first. | ||
| It turned out the garbage was poisoned. | ||
| Like, the garbage had something in it that was poisoned. | ||
| So these chimps died off. | ||
| So the alphas died. | ||
| And then everybody chilled out. | ||
| And so this troop, I guess, of baboons, for like, I think a decade, were like peaceful and cool. | ||
| Like it somehow, and then it eventually devolved back to bully alphas that were beating up all the other chimps. | ||
| Hey, we're no different. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| World War II, now we've been chilling for a while. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And all of a sudden there's some... | ||
| Well, how long do we chill for? | ||
| Up to Vietnam. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That... | |
| Barely counts. | ||
| What? | ||
| Compared to World War II. Right. | ||
| But completely unnecessary, whereas World War II was necessary. | ||
| Because of an unnecessary start. | ||
| What was the unnecessary start of World War II? Hitler taking everything. | ||
| Yeah, but like, a lot of it is based on what happened in World War I. Yes. | ||
| So World War I... One and two are pretty... | ||
| Everything in history is interlinked. | ||
| Yeah, and there's not that much time between them either. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So there's like a regrouping of Germany, and we'll fucking show you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| What was World War I over? | ||
| That's the ultimate dumbest fucking one ever. | ||
| What is it over? | ||
| Archduke Franz Ferdinand got assassinated in Serbia. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| And then Serbia... | ||
| And the guy, Lucky, ran into him outside of a restaurant. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He tried to kill him, didn't. | ||
| Then his car was parked outside of a restaurant. | ||
| He's like, oh! | ||
| Yeah, there he is. | ||
| There he is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then their ally was... | ||
| Serbia's ally was Russia. | ||
| Austria's ally was Germany. | ||
| Germany was like, we're gonna help Austria. | ||
| That's why they got blamed. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And then the whole world... | ||
| And then the whole world, which they were all cousins. | ||
| Why did they assassinate that dude? | ||
| Because Austria and Serbia, I guess, had a pretty long history of fighting each other. | ||
| And he was in Serbia... | ||
| Montenegro, was it? | ||
| And he... | ||
| It was kind of like flaunting it a little. | ||
| It was kind of like, you shouldn't be here. | ||
| Like when Nancy Pelosi went to Taiwan? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I was just like, yeah, I can handle it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What? | ||
| What you gonna do, China? | ||
| I could be wrong, though. | ||
| I think it was, like, Franz Ferdinand was actually, like, one of the guys in Austria that liked Serbia, and he was one of the guys, like, helping it. | ||
| He was, like, an advocate for it. | ||
| And then the black hand, and I'm forgetting his fucking name. | ||
| He's very important. | ||
| The guy who shot him. | ||
| I don't remember his name either. | ||
| It's embarrassing I don't remember it. | ||
| And I hope it's Serbia. | ||
| I just am talking. | ||
| I think he was from the Kingdom of Serbia. | ||
| This isn't the thing I was looking at. | ||
| Didn't have his name. | ||
| This doesn't either. | ||
| So what happens in Germany during World War I? So World War I was over nothing. | ||
| They fought. | ||
| Everybody died. | ||
| Like millions of people died. | ||
| And a lot of times it's just trench warfare where they... | ||
| Over the course of four or five years, they gained nothing, lost nothing. | ||
| So at the end of the war, when France and Germany and England had to sign this treaty, they were like... | ||
| The allies that won were like, oh, we gotta... | ||
| We gotta gain something out of this because otherwise our people are gonna kill us. | ||
| When we signed this treaty and neither of us, nothing changed, and that was all literally for nothing. | ||
| So then they just blamed Germany for everything. | ||
| They were like, you guys, you owe France reparations. | ||
| Gavrilo Princip. | ||
| Got him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So good. | |
| He was 19 years old. | ||
| Fucked up the whole world. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Good job, Gavrilo. | ||
| One teenager. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| Imagine being one person and so many things happen because of one thing that you do. | ||
| A 19-year-old. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, imagine being the CEO of Bud Light. | ||
| Imagine being that lady. | ||
| It's not the CEO, right? | ||
| What was she, like, marketing? | ||
| Yeah, that was just the marketing. | ||
| Head of marketing, yeah. | ||
| Imagine being that lady. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's stuck up in the middle and I... Shit. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know how comparable that is to Gorilla Prince F. In the business world... | ||
| Business world, that was World War I. It's World War I. Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They didn't know. | ||
| They didn't know the capabilities of the weapons. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Just like, yeah. | ||
| Nobody figured out gas yet. | ||
| World War I was doing... | ||
| Nobody figured out Kid Rock shooting your product. | ||
| They were doing... | ||
| They were doing cavalry charges into machine guns. | ||
| That other picture of me looked pretty handsome. | ||
| Go to that picture. | ||
| Imagine that guy shoots you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're like, shit! | |
| Fucking guy. | ||
| Great cheekbones. | ||
| You ever see Young Stalin? | ||
| He looks like Scott Eastwood. | ||
| Young Stalin was a babe. | ||
| Was he? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Criminal penalty. | ||
| 20 years imprisonment. | ||
| Three years later. | ||
| Yeah, he died. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And that motherfucker started it all off. | ||
| Damn, he was alive, though, for three years to witness what he did. | ||
| That's a tough way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wonder if he connected them all. | ||
| Clearly. | ||
| He had to. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Clearly. | ||
| That started it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I bet there's a lot of bragging in the showers. | ||
| You know what I did, motherfucker? | ||
| I killed everyone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I got everybody killed. | |
| One of my favorite stories from World War I that I've talked about too much is that the Russians and the Germans had a ceasefire to kill wolves. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| I didn't know about that. | ||
| They were in Russia and so many of them were getting killed by wolves that they decided to have a ceasefire. | ||
| They negotiated a ceasefire to kill wolves. | ||
| That's terrifying. | ||
| Imagine if you're at trench warfare, and you get shot, and you're screaming, and you're in agony, and then a dog eats you. | ||
| And there's 30 wolves tearing your friend apart, and there's nothing you can do. | ||
| You jump up, people shoot you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And did the wolves just get into the trenches? | ||
| World War I seems like the worst. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bro. | |
| Seems like one of the... | ||
| Just look at what they were dressed like. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How did they survive the elements? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| They had stupid shoes. | ||
| They didn't. | ||
| Their shoes were so stupid. | ||
| They had like shoes that you would wear if you're like walking down the street. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they're out in the woods. | ||
| They're in the mud for months at a time. | ||
| Yeah, show us what they were dressed like. | ||
| Their boots were stupid. | ||
| Like, everything was stupid. | ||
| There's no waterproofing. | ||
| There's no nothing. | ||
| There's no tactical gear. | ||
| You had nothing. | ||
| You had fucking cotton shirts on. | ||
| That's what Hitler did to his boys. | ||
| The guys that went into Russia. | ||
| He was like, we're gonna be done by, we don't even need to make winter uniforms for these guys. | ||
| With leather-soled shoes. | ||
| They didn't even have, like, textured shoe soles back then. | ||
| Just guys having fun. | ||
| Just a good time. | ||
| Trench warfare. | ||
| It ain't nothing but a dude. | ||
| These fucking guys, man. | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| Imagine that life. | ||
| That dude is taking a nap there. | ||
| Just living in hell. | ||
| They got some cool art that came out of this from these guys getting fucked up. | ||
| You ever see Otto Dicks? | ||
| No. | ||
| Get some Otto Dicks going, dude. | ||
| Go back to that photo again, please. | ||
| That photo you just had of those guys. | ||
| Are these dough boys? | ||
| What are these? | ||
| These are Americans? | ||
| Look at their little fucking outfits. | ||
| Imagine being stuck over there going, what the fuck are we here for? | ||
| There's a gas mask around their neck, right? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| That's when they first started using gas. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| What a horrific time. | ||
| Have you seen All Quiet on the Western Front? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Oh no, wait a minute, I haven't. | ||
| No, that's the new one, right? | ||
| Yes, you gotta watch that. | ||
| No, I haven't. | ||
| You gotta watch that. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| You told me about it multiple times. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I get bummed out when I watch war movies. | ||
| It's the most depressing one I've seen in a while. | ||
| Yeah, fuck. | ||
| It's so depressing. | ||
| I always say I'm gonna do it when I'm like sitting in front of the TV. But when I'm sitting in front of the TV, most of the time I just like to be entertained. | ||
| Just show me, I wanna watch fights. | ||
| You gotta watch that one. | ||
| I get really depressed. | ||
| It's bad. | ||
| Dude, I get anxiety sometimes in the middle of the night when everyone's asleep. | ||
| I get anxiety thinking about the wars. | ||
| Yeah, Otto Dix has some good ones. | ||
| He got fucked up from that war. | ||
| And this is all his work? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Everybody's all bullet holes and patched together. | ||
| Oh wow. | ||
| So he was a soldier? | ||
| Yeah, I think he's German. | ||
| Oh my god, dude. | ||
| These are horrific. | ||
| Yeah, what did that guy see? | ||
| Oh, you ever see... | ||
| I don't know how good this is for podcasting, but you gotta look at Goya. | ||
| Look at Goya. | ||
| Look at his... | ||
| Have we ever talked about this on here? | ||
| The gas masks are crazy. | ||
| Gas masks are scary. | ||
| Because that's the first time they ever experienced gas attacks. | ||
| Goya... | ||
| That was actually, those were the Napoleonic Wars. | ||
| He was a Spanish guy. | ||
| Oh, God, look at all those bodies. | ||
| But then he got dark, dude. | ||
| He got into some scary stuff. | ||
| Oh, geez, some Satan shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Allegedly, his last paintings were... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| So they're called the black paintings? | ||
| Bro, can you imagine being alive the first time they start using gas? | ||
| No. | ||
| That would be a bummer. | ||
| Like they just got giant fans and they're spraying deadly gas towards you. | ||
| Oh God, look at his stuff, man. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| That's not Goya. | ||
| Yeah, it says it is. | ||
| Francisco Goya. | ||
| No, he did Saturn. | ||
| Birth of Saturn's Sun painting. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| God, look at that. | ||
| That's horrifying. | ||
| He's eating a baby. | ||
| He did Saturn Devouring His Sun. | ||
| Well, I think that's what's happening right there. | ||
| That's not the real one. | ||
| It's a different one? | ||
| Yeah, that's the one. | ||
| Oh, God! | ||
| Way worse. | ||
| Oh, my God! | ||
| Jamie, go to that one, the bigger one, in the left-hand corner. | ||
| Left-hand corner of that. | ||
| Keep going. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Back. | ||
| The one below it to the left. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Go to that one right there. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's so horrifying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Goya has some cool ones. | ||
| Eating a baby. | ||
| What the fuck, man? | ||
| And that's like a valuable painting. | ||
| Someone could have that in their home. | ||
| This is a Goya. | ||
| It's worth five billion dollars. | ||
| How much is that worth, that Goya? | ||
| Saturn devouring his son. | ||
| A lot of Satanist money out there. | ||
| I think that was in... | ||
| What's that movie about Greed is Good? | ||
| What's that called? | ||
| Wall Street? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wall Street. | |
| Oh, he had a Goya? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wall Street. | |
| The easiest. | ||
| No, the original Wall Street. | ||
| Not Wolf Wall Street. | ||
| The original one, Greed is Good. | ||
| Wall Street, I think he had that in his office. | ||
| My favorite scene in that movie is Michael Douglas walking down the beach with that brick phone like he was a pimp. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Those brick phones were the shit back then. | ||
| Oh my god, he's talking to someone. | ||
| It says his most valuable work was sold for 7.5 and that one would be much more valuable. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow! | |
| It's more valuable? | ||
| Why don't they sell it? | ||
| Maybe they don't want to sell it. | ||
| Imagine wanting that in your house. | ||
| I have some Goyas. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| For real? | ||
| Yeah, I got the he-goat talking. | ||
| Prince. | ||
| Prince. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I'm like, what are you doing? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I have 48 billion dollars worth of art. | ||
| Killian Keyes movie to buy art. | ||
| Killian Keyes money. | ||
| I saw those. | ||
| There's a museum, I forget, it was Sofia Reina maybe in Madrid and I was at it and they have what's called his dark paintings or black paintings, I forget. | ||
| But apparently Goya lost his mind and all these paintings were from in his own house on the walls. | ||
| Like that was painted, that wasn't on a canvas. | ||
| That was on his wall that he did by himself. | ||
| He lost his mind. | ||
| He would paint at night with candles on his head. | ||
| Like a chandelier of candles on his head. | ||
| He painted satanic shit. | ||
| I think they've said that this was a legend, but I'm not sure. | ||
| I want to believe it. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| You see those paintings, you're like, holy... | ||
| It seems like a guy would be... | ||
| It's a goat talking to witches. | ||
| You're like, holy shit. | ||
| A guy eating a baby? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pretty cool. | ||
| That seems like something someone who would have a fucking candle... | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| ...chandelier on their head. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He... | |
| He was 72 when he moved into the house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Some guy took all... | ||
| Hacked off... | ||
| I mean, quotes, hacked off all of the murals from the wall and attached them to canvas, and they're now in that museum. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So he sawed them off the wall. | ||
| He was... | ||
| He saw... | ||
| That'd be even more valuable. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty awesome. | ||
| A chunk of his wall too? | ||
| Imagine walking into that house. | ||
| Bro, what was going on in his mind? | ||
| One of the greatest artists? | ||
| Well, he saw, like, war. | ||
| Horrors? | ||
| Yeah, he saw a fucked up war. | ||
| The most close combat, bullet-type war you could get into. | ||
| Trench warfare. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| This is Napoleonic Wars. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| This is old Spain, where he saw, like... | ||
| Oh, swords and shit, cannonballs. | ||
| And, like, atrocities. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| They were killing civilians. | ||
| They were... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, he drew all of them. | |
| I mean, what does that do to your mind? | ||
| Yeah, you end up painting a fucking goat. | ||
| What if you have a child? | ||
| Like, what if you come back from war and you have these horrific visions? | ||
| You see these horrible, horrible things. | ||
| Do you think... | ||
| Any of that gets transferred into your child's bank of memory. | ||
| I think there's a lot of that going on. | ||
| Yeah, there's some studies on that, like trauma. | ||
| Generational trauma. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| McCusker was just talking to me about it. | ||
| Well, it seems real if you think about some things that kids are scared of, right? | ||
| Like, what are kids scared of? | ||
| They're all scared of monsters. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Even if they live in a place... | ||
| You're naturally afraid of snakes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Unless you're... | ||
| Unless you're a fucking psycho. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's built in. | ||
| It's built in. | ||
| It's like it's in the memory bank somewhere. | ||
| So it's probably difficult to discern how much, but there's probably some kind of information that gets into someone's Their cells, their DNA, their very essence that gets transferred into the kid. | ||
| Which is wild. | ||
| Because if you have a kid and you experience that... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| God damn. | ||
| Those paintings are fucking hard. | ||
| Those paintings rule. | ||
| And he started as like a royal painter. | ||
| Back then they would just like... | ||
| If you were a good painter, the royal court would hire you to do portraits and shit. | ||
| Until he was just a really good painter. | ||
| And he was one of the greats. | ||
| And then, yeah, he lost his mind. | ||
| He just all started getting into satanic shit. | ||
| Pretty sick. | ||
| I can't imagine seeing that much horror. | ||
| You probably believe Satan's 100% real. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| How could it not be real? | ||
| I mean, he watched priests get killed. | ||
| Yeah, babies get killed. | ||
| Women get slaughtered. | ||
| If we're looking these up, Goya's... | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| He's got, like, just war sketches. | ||
| I forget the name of the collection. | ||
| But he would just pencil, sketch what he saw. | ||
| And it's, like, dude's, like, body parts placed in a tree because the French were trying to send a message. | ||
| Spain's fucked up. | ||
| Spain's always been fucked up. | ||
| Spanish Civil War's cool. | ||
| What about that story from the Roman Empire? | ||
| I forget the details of it, but they put people on stakes like every hundred yards for like seven miles. | ||
| Something fucking insane like that. | ||
| Yeah, they would crucify people like that. | ||
| They would crucify... | ||
| But they did it for like miles. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| So that as you're on your way... | ||
| You're like, alright, don't steal. | ||
| This is what you're gonna have to deal with if you fuck off. | ||
| I don't think it's a steal thing. | ||
| I think it's like an army thing. | ||
| Romans crucified 6,000 people along a 120-mile stretch of road between Rome and Capua. | ||
| People were traveling for days along a major trade route seeing a new person crucified every 100 feet. | ||
| 100 feet, not 100 yards, sorry. | ||
| 100 feet. | ||
| Holy fuck. | ||
| 6,000 people. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| But you know, that's like the origins of the Dracula story. | ||
| Was that Spartacus? | ||
| The Gladiator War. | ||
| The War of Spartacus. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Lasts a series of slave rebellions against the Roman Republic known as the Servo Wars. | ||
| This third rebellion was the only one that directly threatened the Roman heartland of Italy. | ||
| It was particularly alarming to Rome because its military seemed powerless to suppress it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| They killed 6,000 people. | ||
| Damn, 70 gladiators broke out from the gladiator school? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's pretty neat. | ||
| They easily defeated the small Roman force sent to recapture them. | ||
| And within two years, they had been joined by some 120,000 men, women, and children. | ||
| The able-bodied adults of this large group were a surprisingly effective armed force that repeatedly showed they could withstand or defeat the Roman military... | ||
| From the local Campanian patrols to the Roman militia and even to trained Roman legions under the Consular Command. | ||
| This army of slaves roamed across Italy, raiding estates and towns with relative impunity, sometimes dividing into separate but connected bands with several leaders, including the famous former gladiator Spartacus. | ||
| Holy shit, dude. | ||
| Makes sense, though. | ||
| You got these dudes fighting you with swords. | ||
| Yeah, you train them how to use swords. | ||
| And then they get out. | ||
| They're going to fuck you up. | ||
| Yeah, they're going to go wild. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That must have been crazy times, man. | ||
| Crazy times. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And back then, like, you had to, like, hear someone tell you what was going on over there. | ||
| Yeah, just bullshit. | ||
| What's going on over there? | ||
| It's always wrong. | ||
| No photos. | ||
| You have to look at sketches. | ||
| Like, this is what it looks like. | ||
| That motherfucker Spartacus got out? | ||
| He's out? | ||
| God damn, that's a problem. | ||
| You got a picture of him? | ||
| Think if the NFL was like, they're not allowed out. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then you're like, god damn, Christian McCaffrey broke out? | ||
| And they fight with swords. | ||
| How far are we away from sword fighting on TV? If we have slap fighting, just like one nuclear bomb has to go off, and then you could have the ultimate sword fighting championships? | ||
| I mean... | ||
| I think to witness a sword fight would be so horrific. | ||
| Imagine, though, if the winner got $100 million. | ||
| Do you know how many trailer park dudes would step in to a sword fight for $100 million? | ||
| I think after witnessing the first bout, everyone would go, oh, no. | ||
| I think not. | ||
| I bet them bull riders would get involved. | ||
| Then you'd have a real problem. | ||
| I think getting killed is true. | ||
| Yeah, oh yeah, they're doing this shit Roger's already after. | ||
| M1. But this is different. | ||
| They're wearing armor. | ||
| But they do beat the fuck out of each other. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's pretty wild. | ||
| But I don't think anybody's dying. | ||
| And they actually wind up doing MMA with each other. | ||
| Which I would kind of think, if you're really good at MMA, I would kind of like fake the sword. | ||
| Yeah, just take the... | ||
| shoot the legs. | ||
| I would use that fucking... | ||
| that bitch-ass shield that they have, and I would rush him. | ||
| I'd rush him and then just trip this guy, pull his helmet off and beat him to death. | ||
| So in a sword fight that you're saying to say, like, is there no MMA allowed? | ||
| Is it just... | ||
| Well, it seems like they're clinching, though. | ||
| They kick each other. | ||
| See, look, he kicked him. | ||
| He kicked his inside leg. | ||
| Yeah, and he's got shin pads on, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, man. | |
| Really kick hard. | ||
| He got popped in the head. | ||
| Yeah, he got popped in the head with a sword. | ||
| Look at you. | ||
| See Nito in the nuts? | ||
| Like, you can get away with some stuff in this. | ||
| Look at these mountains in the back. | ||
| This is awesome. | ||
| It's pretty wild that they have these kind of fights. | ||
| These guys are getting tired, too. | ||
| Here's the highlight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
See, they go to the ground. | |
| They go to the ground. | ||
| If you go to the ground like that, let go of your fucking sword and take his back. | ||
| See, this guy's on top. | ||
| This guy knows what he's doing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's dropping some fucking shield strikes to him. | |
| That guy gave up. | ||
| Yeah, see, good move by that guy. | ||
| Let go of the sword. | ||
| It's not effective. | ||
| The guy's covered in armor. | ||
| How long before they're not? | ||
| How long before it's two dudes in their underwear with a samurai sword? | ||
| One sword, they have to fight over it? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Like an Oklahoma drill? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's so wild. | ||
| We can't. | ||
| They would just get sprinters. | ||
| Sprinters would be the first person to get the sword. | ||
| I'm not... | ||
| Look, it happened before. | ||
| It's happened in history before. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| People fought sword fights. | ||
| Do you not think there's someone out there who's thinking about fighting a sword fight right now? | ||
| I think there's tons of dudes with swords. | ||
| There's a dude right now with a rock and a sword. | ||
| He's probably listening to this. | ||
| Statistically, there's a guy listening to this right now with holding a sword. | ||
| Holding a sword right now. | ||
| Currently holding. | ||
| Out of all our listeners, there's 1,000 who have a sword. | ||
| How different from fencing is it then? | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Fencing is just the gentleman's way of poking each other with a sword. | ||
| But it's still a fucking sword fight, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, but these are just dorks. | |
| Fencing might be the fucking lamest shit ever. | ||
| It's hard to do. | ||
| It involves a lot of technique. | ||
| You get fucked up. | ||
| No shit. | ||
| I'm not saying they're lame because I'm better. | ||
| I could never do that. | ||
| It's just lame to do it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, especially now with all the bullets and everything. | ||
| Bullets are better than swords. | ||
| It's way better. | ||
| It's way better. | ||
| That's what held back the Japanese. | ||
| You know, the Samurais were very reluctant to get involved with guns. | ||
| They're like, come on. | ||
| This bitch-ass shit? | ||
| We got arrows already. | ||
| Fight like a man. | ||
| And that didn't work out so well. | ||
| No. | ||
| They ran into cannons. | ||
| They were the first people to hold off the Mongols. | ||
| The samurai were the first people to hold off the Mongols. | ||
| Did they get hit with a wave? | ||
| Did they get hit with a little bit of a wave? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They were unsuccessful though. | ||
| Samurais fought them off. | ||
| I mean, that is a wild culture. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A war-like island. | ||
| In the Pacific, with some of the greatest martial arts inventions of all time coming from this one place. | ||
| Judo, karate, so much came from that place. | ||
| Different styles of karate. | ||
| Yeah, they got rowdy. | ||
| Kendo. | ||
| Japan got rowdy. | ||
| Yeah, they got rowdy. | ||
| Yeah, they did have the drip severe. | ||
| Look at that drip. | ||
| We got one of those. | ||
| You've seen that one that we have? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| We have a real one. | ||
| That's a real one from the 1800s. | ||
| Samurai might have the best drip. | ||
| Yeah, they had good drip. | ||
| They look dope. | ||
| When I was a kid? | ||
| I gotta piss. | ||
| Tremendously. | ||
| Let's pause right here. | ||
| Samurai. | ||
| Oh, there was an African samurai in Japan. | ||
| Of course. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I bet he ran. | |
| See when they wrote that article. | ||
| Within the last three years. | ||
| Back on Samurai? | ||
| Black Samurai. | ||
| So... | ||
| Black Samurai. | ||
| Yasuke is this guy's name. | ||
| He's a man of African origin. | ||
| He came to Japan in the Sengoku period and became a retainer in the household of Oda Nobunaga. | ||
| He was employed by the Japanese Sengoku... | ||
| Oh, I can't even say all that shit. | ||
| Try that one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dayamo Oda Nobunaga. | |
| And served as a kosho, page, or sword bearer. | ||
| He was neither a menial nor an indentured servant, but a retainer who was given a stipend by Nobunaga. | ||
| So that guy, Nobunaga, was the most powerful man in Japan. | ||
| And Yasuke, I think is his name, came over from a group from Italy, actually. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| And spent some time there, wanted to go visit that guy, and then this is the part I thought was interesting here. | ||
| It's like a description of their meeting right here. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| He appears to be 26 or 27 years old. | ||
| The blackness of his body is like that of a bull, and he is healthy and of fine physique. | ||
| Moreover, he has the strength of more than 10 men. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| The Padres came with him and thanked Lord Nobunaga for his permission to proselytize. | ||
| Seeing a black man for the first time refused to believe that his skin color was natural and not applied later and made him remove his clothes from the belt upwards. | ||
| Valignano describes how Nobunaga, thinking that he might have ink on his body, made him take off his clothes and wash his body, but the more he washed and scrubbed, the darker his skin became. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| And so then he hung out, and it says he took them around Japan for like a year, doing feats of strength and stuff. | ||
| But he didn't speak any Chinese. | ||
| He was also given a short sword. | ||
| He was given a short sword and a house. | ||
| He was sometimes made to carry Nobunaga-sama's tools. | ||
| So, interesting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alright. | |
| What the fuck were we just talking about before this? | ||
| There was something else. | ||
| Japan War? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| Samurais? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| I lost it. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| It was interesting though. | ||
| Napoleon? | ||
| Nope. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Napoleon rules. | |
| I give up. | ||
| I'm not going to find it. | ||
| It's in my head somewhere. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| I hate when that happens. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But when you go off on these tangents. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Oh. | ||
| What? | ||
| The NCAA stuff? | ||
| Oh, no, it's not real. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| No. | ||
| That was the... | ||
| Fake news. | ||
| Yeah, it was fake news. | ||
| But what's real news is the 15 and under... | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| ...team destroying the women's national team in soccer. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I got in such a battle over that. | ||
| So I was doing a comedy festival when that happened in Atlanta. | ||
| And I was in the green room, and I was already out of place. | ||
| Like, I was sitting next to somebody that was describing... | ||
| The benefits of polyamory. | ||
| This is a comedy club? | ||
| Yeah, a comedy festival. | ||
| And I was drunk enough to be like, yo. | ||
| F.C. Dow under 15. Under 15. Boys squad beat the U.S. women's national team in a scrimmage. | ||
| Matches in preparation for Thursdays, US WNT friendly versus Russia. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So, boy. | ||
| While we're 5-2, sitting there discussing, that's actually a different one. | ||
| 5-2, there was another time they played them and lost like 8-1. | ||
| But, regardless. | ||
| So what happened? | ||
| Sitting in the screen room, this guy's describing to me how the benefits of being polyamorous... | ||
| This is a comic? | ||
| Yeah, they were all comics. | ||
| I mean, it was a comedy festival, so we're all... | ||
| Yeah, it was an open mic. | ||
| Did you watch their act? | ||
| I... probably, but I was... | ||
| Oh, so you're just starting. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| How many years in a comedy were you at this point? | ||
| Uh, five. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| But we're back there, and I was like, this was before I knew you weren't allowed to be like, that's dumb. | ||
| So he was like, polyamory. | ||
| I was like, you know that's dumb, what you're saying? | ||
| Like, that's fucking crazy what you're saying? | ||
| And then while we're talking, this girl walks in, she's got her phone, and she's like, oh, the men's team lost again, but still get paid more than the women. | ||
| And I was like, well, yeah, they've... | ||
| More people watch it. | ||
| Yeah, that's... | ||
| They're better at soccer. | ||
| Who's better at their job? | ||
| They're better. | ||
| And then that started an argument, and she's like, how do you know? | ||
| And I was like, the slowest, worst guy on the men's team would literally be the greatest... | ||
| What are you talking... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, you understand this. | |
| She was like, no, you tell me. | ||
| And then I was like, I'm sure they've scrimmaged at some point. | ||
| I googled it, and it was like, they played the under-15 team and lost 8-0. | ||
| And I was like... | ||
| They did it. | ||
| And she's like, you fucking... | ||
| She's rat you for truth? | ||
| What'd she call you? | ||
| Probably like a... | ||
| Well, actually, probably just like a dickhead. | ||
| And then probably when I got canceled, she was like, yeah. | ||
| I knew that guy was a dickhead. | ||
| I'll give her credit. | ||
| I was probably being a dickhead. | ||
| But you probably... | ||
| She deserved... | ||
| That's nonsense talk. | ||
| That whole, why don't the women get paid more? | ||
| I heard that argument even about comics. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, shut the fuck up. | |
| Listen, if you're Taylor Swift, you get paid. | ||
| You get fucking paid. | ||
| There's no guys out there saying, how come there's not a male Taylor Swift? | ||
| But there's women out there that will say that about male comics that are killing it. | ||
| Why don't the women get that much? | ||
| Why don't people of Polynesian descent get a check like that? | ||
| How come no one from Iceland is getting paid? | ||
| Shut the fuck up! | ||
| Yeah, that's not how it works. | ||
| That's not how it works. | ||
| Taylor Swift is Taylor Swift. | ||
| Yeah, isn't it Taylor Swift and Beyonce? | ||
| Obviously, being a woman is not holding her back in the slightest. | ||
| I think those are the two acts, Taylor Swift and Beyonce. | ||
| The biggest acts in the world. | ||
| I don't think anyone comes close. | ||
| No one comes close to Taylor Swift. | ||
| I think Beyonce does. | ||
| She does? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think. | |
| She's in the neighborhood? | ||
| I bet it. | ||
| I bet she does. | ||
| Both of them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Let's say both of them. | ||
| They're selling out stadiums. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fucking arena. | ||
| Arena. | ||
| They would have to do it like a comedy club. | ||
| They'd have to treat an arena. | ||
| They'd have to treat the T-Mobile Center in Vegas like a comedy club. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| If Taylor Swift- Two shows a night, Tuesday through Thursday. | ||
| She'd have to do a decade. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| For real. | ||
| She would have to do a decade. | ||
| She literally doesn't... | ||
| It's not possible to have enough tickets for all the people that want to see her. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is there a male act that's even close? | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| Kanye probably before all that shit went down. | ||
| I don't think he was close. | ||
| No, he was not that big. | ||
| No. | ||
| But she wasn't that big back then either, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But he made that bitch famous. | ||
| Oh my god, he did. | ||
| He fucked up. | ||
| I made that bitch famous. | ||
| He fucked up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He fucked up. | |
| He did. | ||
| He rules. | ||
| He does rule. | ||
| He does rule. | ||
| He says a lot of wild shit. | ||
| He's having fun. | ||
| I hope so. | ||
| Well, no, no. | ||
| I bet his new album's gonna be a fucking banger. | ||
| Yeah, the last one was. | ||
| But you push that dude in a corner, I bet he comes out swinging. | ||
| I bet this new shit is a banger. | ||
| Yeah, he's the best. | ||
| Isn't he in like... | ||
| Saudi Arabia or something, recording it? | ||
| I know he was definitely in Italy getting his dick sucked on a boat for a little. | ||
| A little bit of that. | ||
| But then he was in Japan? | ||
| I think he's recording at least part of it in the Middle East. | ||
| He might be Sasuke or whatever that guy's name was. | ||
| I think he's in Japan. | ||
| Makes sense. | ||
| It's crazy, though. | ||
| Adidas lost billions of dollars to not be in business with them. | ||
| Didn't they take it back? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| They just sold their remaining stock. | ||
| I'm pretty sure. | ||
| I don't think they went back to business together. | ||
| I think when you lose money like that, you go, oh, our bad. | ||
| But that is a rough look for Adidas. | ||
| It's a rough look for everybody, but Adidas was literally founded by Nazis. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I mean. | ||
| They gotta be like, no, we got nothing to do with this. | ||
| We don't have shit to do with this. | ||
| That was then, and this is now, and we are not those people. | ||
| Can you imagine being the fucking CEO of Adidas and seeing that clip? | ||
| Him just like, I love Hitler. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Fuck, dude. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| He was trying to say he loves everybody, right? | ||
| Yeah, I think that was the message, but boy, it got a little murky. | ||
| Well, he gets murky. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He gets a little murky. | |
| He gets murky all the time. | ||
| Do you remember that time he sat down in the Oval Office with Trump, and he was just rattling off craziness, and Trump's like, hmm. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| Trump is so smart with that stuff. | ||
| He just lets people go. | ||
| With other people, he would shut the fuck up. | ||
| If Chris Christie was in there saying all that nonsense, he'd be like, what are you talking about? | ||
| Get out of here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But with Kanye, he's like, this guy's on my side. | ||
| Let him go. | ||
| Let him go. | ||
| I mean, we can talk Kanye all day. | ||
| I love Kanye. | ||
| I love Kanye. | ||
| Kanye had probably my favorite music video. | ||
| It was him and Lil Pump. | ||
| You're such a fucking hoe. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Mmm, that's right. | ||
| It's a very funny music video. | ||
| And they had those crazy fucking suits on. | ||
| Yeah, those dumbass suits. | ||
| They're just having fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Then they did it live on SNL. | ||
| Let me hear this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Isn't that... | |
| She's a comic. | ||
| That lady? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The thing he did with that song where he's just making a bunch of noise was pretty funny. | ||
| Skibbity bop, poop, skip, poop. | ||
| You know the story behind it? | ||
| Yeah, with him and Drake? | ||
| It's supposed to be a Drake song. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And Drake wanted it, and Kanye was like, yeah, guess what? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| So he made a beat and a great song for Drake, and then he released it a couple days later of just him going like, skibbity bop, poop, skip, poop, poop. | ||
| He just ruined it. | ||
| He just ruined the whole track. | ||
| Ah! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We play this one song in the green room when we really want to get things popping. | ||
| The I'm going to jail song. | ||
| Trying to find it, Jamie. | ||
| I'll send it to you. | ||
| Oh, I know that song. | ||
| Yeah, you know that song. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Guess who's going to jail tonight? | |
| Guess I'm going to jail. | ||
| God damn, that song rocks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Jail. | ||
| It's just called Jail. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jail. | |
| This is it. | ||
| This is one of them Green Room songs. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Hearing this? | ||
| Hearing Yeah Go Wild? | ||
| Come on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is a bad motherfucker, man. | |
| I mean, you gotta let a guy like this get out of line every now and again. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what makes him so brilliant. | ||
| He's got a tornado going on in his mind. | ||
| There's a tornado in there at any given time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Bro, when he was doing the podcast, unfortunately, Jamie got COVID, so he couldn't be here for it. | ||
| But you know what he wanted to do? | ||
| What Kanye wanted to do, he didn't like my set. | ||
| It was my old set. | ||
| Keep it going. | ||
| He didn't like my old set, so he wanted to build a set, do the podcast. | ||
| I thought you were talking about stand-up. | ||
| I was like, God damn. | ||
| He wanted to build a set. | ||
| So I said, what do you want to do? | ||
| We're on FaceTime. | ||
| I go, what do you want to do? | ||
| He goes, I want to build a womb. | ||
| I want to do the podcast in a womb. | ||
| I said, let's go. | ||
| I go, let's do it. | ||
| No problem. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's do it. | |
| Okay, build a womb. | ||
| And so that was the plan. | ||
| And then Jamie got COVID. Fucked it all up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jamie... | |
| And then I told him, I go, listen, my producer got COVID. Do you mind just doing it at my studio so I get someone to come in and sub for him? | ||
| Red Band came in, sub for him. | ||
| It's like, really, the womb thing. | ||
| You don't think I would have gone? | ||
| It was COVID keeping me out of there. | ||
| Yeah, it's just COVID. And it was back when COVID was actually COVID. We worried Jamie was going to die. | ||
| Everyone thought I was going to die. | ||
| I was stuck in a room for a week. | ||
| Oh, damn. | ||
| It wasn't allowed to have contact with people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The rough days. | ||
| The dark days. | ||
| I was in New York with roommates. | ||
| With male roommates. | ||
| And I got COVID. And they didn't have it. | ||
| And they were just like... | ||
| Terrified of you. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| They didn't give a fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| It was Chris and Tommy. | ||
| You know Chris and Tommy. | ||
| Wild people. | ||
| They were literally like, yeah, I don't care. | ||
| We stayed in the same apartment the entire time. | ||
| And they never got it? | ||
| No one got it. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How much did you guys make out? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's funny. | |
| After a couple days, I got my energy back. | ||
| We started making out again. | ||
| Yeah, my whole family got it, and I didn't get it. | ||
| But I felt it. | ||
| I was working out. | ||
| And when I was working out, I was like, I'm fighting something off. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| I could feel it. | ||
| I was doing my kettlebell routine. | ||
| And I was like, ooh. | ||
| So I switched to 35 pounds. | ||
| And I said, I'm just going to do one set of each movement. | ||
| Keep the A going, dude. | ||
| This is literally art. | ||
| We're talking about COVID kettlebells and playing A. Come on. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who gonna post my bell? | |
| Lord, help me. | ||
| He made a song, Kanye made a song with Andre 3000. Fuck, I forget the name of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is Jay-Z. No, this is Jay-Z, yeah. | |
| He also made a song with Paul McCartney and didn't tell him. | ||
| Didn't tell him? | ||
| I don't think he knew. | ||
| Paul McCartney didn't know? | ||
| I don't think he knew he was going to use it as a song, yeah. | ||
| What do you think he's recording? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I just don't think that they... | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know the full story, but... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can he come back like Bud Light? | |
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just gonna take one album. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think everybody's already back, like... | ||
| Well, also, what better time to be mad at Juice? | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
|
unidentified
|
True joke. | |
| I'm gonna be honest with you. | ||
| You're making a good point. | ||
| I mean... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because he's going to jail tonight. | |
| Culturally? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's the song he made with Andre 3000? | |
| This fucking song... | ||
| This is great. | ||
| This is an amazing song. | ||
| The one he made with Andre 3000, it's literally like... | ||
| Life of the Party? | ||
| Life of the Party is like... | ||
| It's actually like... | ||
| I don't want to sound too gay. | ||
| It's like genuinely beautiful. | ||
| It starts out with like... | ||
| I think it might end with DMX talking to his kid. | ||
| Jamie, do me a favor. | ||
| Play the glory. | ||
| Break Kanye the glory. | ||
| Now we're doing a podcast. | ||
| Yeah, let's go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Drinking. | |
| Playing music. | ||
| Listen to this one. | ||
| This is another one that I got in the green room. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can I talk my shit again? | |
| Oh my god, that's a good one. | ||
| Can I talk my shit again? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Even if I don't hit again? | |
| Dog, are you fucking kidding? | ||
| My hat, my shoes, my coat, Louis Vuitton's I mean, think of R. Kelly, think of Michael Jackson, what they've been forgiven for because of how great their music was. | ||
| I don't think R. Kelly's been forgiven. | ||
| He's in jail currently. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not talking legally. | |
| I'm talking R. Kelly rules, dude. | ||
| Well, he rules in our green room. | ||
| Yeah, that's all we listen to. | ||
| It's just R. Kelly. | ||
| You hit one. | ||
| Alright, never mind. | ||
| It's too gay. | ||
| It's too gay. | ||
| Real talk came on in the fucking gym and we were dancing. | ||
| We started dancing. | ||
| No, you started dancing. | ||
| It was just right after you. | ||
| Alright, whatever. | ||
| Right after what? | ||
| You took your shirt off as the fucking song hit and you started dancing to real talk. | ||
| Do-do-do-do-do-do. | ||
| You heard me talking to who? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is it bitch? | |
| I was at the club. | ||
| What? | ||
| We can't. | ||
| Jamie, we can't. | ||
| We can. | ||
| Keep it going. | ||
| Give me some. | ||
| Look, he's pouring himself a little drink. | ||
| He's got his stogies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Calm down, bitch. | |
| I was at a club with who? | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Girl, I'm not about to sit up here and argue with you about who's to blame or call no names. | ||
| We'll talk to you, girl. | ||
| Only thing I'm trying to establish with you is not who's right or who's wrong. | ||
| What's right and what's wrong with real talk? | ||
| Just because your friends say she saw me at a club with some other bitches. | ||
| All Midwest. | ||
| Is he? | ||
|
unidentified
|
All Midwest. | |
| All these guys are Midwest. | ||
| This is Chicago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yay, Chicago. | |
| MJ's Indiana. | ||
| Midwest. | ||
| Richard Pryor. | ||
| Yeah, Gary Indiana's Pryor. | ||
| They're producing some wild bros. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Oh, where... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Chief Keefe? | |
| It's a wild bro. | ||
| Where was Kinnison born? | ||
| Midwest might rule. | ||
| Yakima, Washington? | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| That place sucks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's how you end up fucking wearing a Jeffcat to the side. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe Yakima. | ||
| I'm sorry Yakima. | ||
| Maybe you guys are awesome. | ||
| I'm just fucking around. | ||
| That's a guy that I- But his family was from fucking Illinois. | ||
| Moved to Chicago! | ||
|
unidentified
|
East Peoria! | |
| They produced insane people. | ||
| That's why I thought that! | ||
| East Peoria, that's why, because it's the same area fucking Pryor came from, man. | ||
| Yeah, they produced some insane people. | ||
| It's crazy! | ||
| So he was how old when he moved there? | ||
| Three months old. | ||
| Okay, yeah, that's like... | ||
| I mean, I kind of claim Boston, and I didn't move there until I was 13. Yeah. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I cleaned Philly. | |
| I moved there when I was like 28. Where were you born? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Harrisburg. | |
| Oh, that's kind of... | ||
| Mechanicsburg, PA. My parents used to live there, I told you that. | ||
| Yeah, that's fucking crazy. | ||
| Your parents lived in fucking Harrisburg. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, they liked it. | ||
| Harrisburg's nice. | ||
| It's not, you know, it's rural. | ||
| Three Mile Island cost us a lot of people. | ||
| A lot of people left. | ||
| Three Mile Island's in that area? | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| Yeah, Three Mile Island's where I'm from. | ||
| Why did I think Three Mile Island was in Long Island or something? | ||
| Makes sense. | ||
| Long Island? | ||
| Yeah, I don't think I ever knew where it is. | ||
| Three Mile Island is Pennsylvania. | ||
| Three Mile Island is in Middletown, Pennsylvania, I think. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But it's Harrisburg. | ||
| Bro, Pennsylvania, in my head, doing stand-up in Pennsylvania... | ||
| Mechanics were going on the map, dude. | ||
| It makes me happy. | ||
| My memory of how I got into conspiracy theories... | ||
| Was what? | ||
| Was in Pennsylvania when I was on the road. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| A friend of mine was buddies with this dude who was in a band. | ||
| And we were all out. | ||
| We're talking. | ||
| He starts talking to me about the JFK assassination. | ||
| I'm like, so what really happened? | ||
| He goes, dude, there's this book. | ||
| I'm going to give you the book. | ||
| I just finished it. | ||
| Crossfire? | ||
| No. | ||
| Best Evidence. | ||
| David Lifton. | ||
| So I was reading this book in my fucking hotel room before the show. | ||
| I was like, oh, no. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| They fucking killed the president. | ||
| If you look into that, the smallest amount, if you look into that, you go, oh, 100% they killed him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, there's no way. | ||
| The people that say Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, first of all, it doesn't even make sense from an evidence perspective when you look at the bullet. | ||
| It doesn't make sense in any way. | ||
| The whole reason why they needed to attribute all these different shots to one bullet, the back and to the left, there's so much wrong with it. | ||
| The whole thing. | ||
| Everything's wrong with it. | ||
| But that is a crazy story. | ||
| The fact that it was released on television because of a comic. | ||
| Oh, Dick Gregory. | ||
| Dick Gregory. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Stand-up comic. | ||
| He got this Zapruder film? | ||
| Got all the Zapruder film. | ||
| Oh, that's it. | ||
| And played it on the fucking Geraldo Rivera show. | ||
| And played it 12 years after the assassination. | ||
| That's what's nuts, man. | ||
| It was on TV in 75. Imagine some shit that went down in like, you know, 2011. Yeah. | ||
| 2001. Some shit went down. | ||
| Imagine that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, some shit did go down. | ||
| Can you imagine if we got some footage out of that? | ||
| It'd be like one of you guys having it. | ||
| They're like, yo. | ||
| Yeah, if one of us got the Tower 7 collapse. | ||
| We got something to show you. | ||
| Oh my god, we just got a guy in there going like this. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, literally. | ||
| Kind of the bandit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fucking... | |
| Old school dynamite. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah, if you do any... | ||
| That's the one. | ||
| Everybody talks shit on conspiracy theories, and I get it. | ||
| They shouldn't. | ||
| Yeah, but there's... | ||
| It's silly. | ||
| I saw the clip of you and Eddie Bravo talking about Flat Earth. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Your argument there was like, this is the type of conspiracy that fucks up the other conspiracies. | ||
| And I believe that. | ||
| I don't... | ||
| I'll take it a step further. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I think the reason why those things are so prevalent is not because they're enticing. | ||
| I think people put them out there purposely to make other conspiracy theories seem stupid. | ||
| And if they can give you enough fake evidence And enough really eloquent people describing these things and why they're trying to hide this from you. | ||
| And then they always attach it to religion. | ||
| Flat Earth is always attached to religion. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not atheist people that believe in Flat Earth for the most part. | ||
| I'm sure there's a few out there that do. | ||
| But for the most part, they believe that there's a firmament above Earth as described in the Bible. | ||
| Oh, yes. | ||
| Yeah, they don't believe in space. | ||
| Isn't outer space water, then? | ||
| It's all just bullshit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, I guess that explains rain. | |
| Guys are like, what the fuck is that? | ||
| Like, well, up there is water. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know how they explain the lights. | ||
| What do they think galaxies are? | ||
| And what do telescopes see? | ||
| Are telescopes bullshit, too? | ||
| Yeah, water. | ||
| I knew it was water. | ||
| Yeah, so there's a great deep below. | ||
| There's the pillars of the earth. | ||
| And there's a firmament. | ||
| And then the earth is flat. | ||
| And then this bald stuff is all just bullshit. | ||
| Chambers in heaven? | ||
| Upper seas. | ||
| They think it's like a disc. | ||
| I think that's how they describe it, as a disc. | ||
| What I have here was the Bible firmament from Wikipedia. | ||
| So then there's like the springing and the flat part. | ||
| Yeah, so earth is flat. | ||
| So this is what they think it is. | ||
| That's what they think it is. | ||
| The Bible firmament makes sense, again, if you're like, what the fuck is rain? | ||
| Because that would rock me. | ||
| I mean, we have a real problem in that a lot of these religious texts They're describing things that we now have science for. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a real problem with that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, everything. | ||
| Including procreation. | ||
| Like, we actually know what's happening now. | ||
| We can fucking watch the sperm get in the egg. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| We know... | ||
| That would have been nuts. | ||
| We have photos of other planets. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, we have, like, really good photos of the moon. | ||
| We have super good photos of Mars. | ||
| We got a thing on Mars. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| It's a robot. | ||
| We got satellites that are flying around Mars. | ||
| Imagine not knowing What sex did. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You're like, I really want to do it. | ||
| And then all of a sudden a kid comes out, occasionally a kid comes out. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You'd be like, this is... | ||
| And how'd that happen? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, if you go way, way, way back, they probably had... | |
| I'm dumb. | ||
| They probably had no idea that it was their kid. | ||
| You see some dogs do it, you're like, oh, that's how it's done. | ||
| Well, people always did it, just like the gorillas of the zoo always did. | ||
| Of course, but I'm saying, like, you wouldn't be able to explain anything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Rain would be... | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You'd be like, there must be water up there. | ||
| Well, how about lightning? | ||
| How about people dying from lightning? | ||
| Fucking hit by lightning, you'd be like, oh my god. | ||
| Magic is real. | ||
| Imagine you're living 50,000 years ago and your friend gets killed by lightning in front of you. | ||
| Like, magic is real. | ||
| I was watching this dude get fucked up in a parking lot the other day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What happened? | |
| Not real life, on video. | ||
| It was another Instagram thing that I keep getting sent. | ||
| I think Sigur might have sent me this one too. | ||
| Some dude is walking in this parking lot and he just gets fucking nailed. | ||
| By lightning? | ||
| Just the finger of the god. | ||
| Thor himself. | ||
| I mean, it's just as scary as like a demon taking you. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's just as scary. | ||
| If you don't survive, I'll take it. | ||
| That's a good out. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Struck by lightning? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a good out. | ||
| It's a good way to go. | ||
| If you don't survive. | ||
| If you survive, that blows. | ||
| There's a guy who survived like seven. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's like the most electrocuted guy of all time. | ||
| My friend Remy got nailed. | ||
| You know a guy that got struck by lightning? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| When he was a kid. | ||
| He told a story on the podcast, I'm pretty sure. | ||
| I'm trying to remember how old he was. | ||
| When it went down. | ||
| But he was a kid. | ||
| I know that for sure. | ||
| And he was... | ||
| I think he went deaf for a little while. | ||
| At least in one ear. | ||
| He was really fucked up. | ||
| He said he didn't understand what happened when he woke up. | ||
| You know, he woke up. | ||
| There was no one around. | ||
| He just got nailed by lightning. | ||
| People do live. | ||
| Like, quite a few people live, but quite a few people don't. | ||
| Just imagine if you had no idea what electrical storms- Yeah, I think if it strikes something near you, you live. | ||
| If it's like a direct strike- No, you can get hit and live. | ||
| People have gotten hit and lived. | ||
| Yeah, believe it or not. | ||
| But there's different kinds of lightning strikes, right? | ||
| There's lightning strikes that split trees in half. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you get hit with one of those bitches, you're fucked. | ||
| You're exploding. | ||
| You know, you see them branches in the sky like, some of them are fucking thick. | ||
| You get hit with one of them thick streams. | ||
| Just explode on a golf course. | ||
| Do you know that that's what they used to think that rain was? | ||
| It was God jizzing on the earth? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's in the Dead Sea Scrolls. | ||
| I mean, they're kind of right. | ||
| It does bring life. | ||
| Yeah, that's what they thought it was. | ||
| I mean, they're kind of still correct. | ||
| If they were just figuring out that if you... | ||
| Well, first of all, they were just learning how to write things down, right? | ||
| And they're just figuring out that you have orgasm inside of a woman, she can get pregnant. | ||
| They're just figuring this out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So they probably would see rain come down, and they realized that all these things would grow out of the rain. | ||
| That's come. | ||
| Yeah, it's God coming on the earth. | ||
| And they figured that's how God... | ||
| No, they're out there just trying to... | ||
| I mean, God gives all life with his cum. | ||
| I don't think they thought cum was bad back then. | ||
| They probably thought it was like super valuable. | ||
| But there's a book, there's literally a book based on some of the things that they think from this. | ||
| It's called The Sacred Mushroom in the Cross. | ||
| It's by this guy named John Marco Allegro, who was a, he was an ordained minister. | ||
| But he became agnostic as he started studying theology. | ||
| And then he was one of the people that was – he was sent to decipher the Dead Sea Scrolls, which is like the oldest verse. | ||
| You're fucking Bud Light. | ||
| Bud Light is giving me cum in my throat. | ||
| Don't you dare. | ||
| Don't you dare put that on this. | ||
| So this dude, one of the things that he came up with at the end of this 14 year deciphering of the Dead Sea Scrolls was he thinks that Christ was an ancient Sumerian word. | ||
| He traced it back to the roots of an ancient Sumerian word, which meant a mushroom covered in God's semen. | ||
| So apparently they had a word. | ||
| That for a mushroom, and they thought that when God came on the earth and the mushrooms raised up, when you eat the mushrooms and trip your balls, you're experiencing God. | ||
| Which makes sense. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It totally makes sense. | ||
| If you're living 50,000 years ago and you find a fucking- If you're living today. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You find some magic mushrooms. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| And you start chomping on them, and the next thing you know, you're like- Yeah. | ||
| The universe opens up with all its secrets to you. | ||
| You're like, we're all connected. | ||
| If that happens to you today. | ||
| Fuck, that was definitely come. | ||
| Yeah, it's God's come. | ||
| Imagine if God's come was the only way you could achieve enlightenment. | ||
| You had to blow God. | ||
| That's not... | ||
| Yeah, I would do... | ||
| I don't need enlightenment. | ||
| But that was it. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| It's like, this is what you're scared of. | ||
| You're just scared of sucking a dick. | ||
| Don't be scared. | ||
| Don't you want to be enlightened? | ||
| Or do you want to just live this life over and over and over again and never get it right? | ||
| What is enlightenment? | ||
| What does that entail? | ||
| Freedom. | ||
| Complete freedom of mind. | ||
| Being connected to the God source. | ||
| Being one with the universe. | ||
| Always happy. | ||
| Always filled with love. | ||
| Understanding it. | ||
| Getting the big picture. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gay. | |
| Well, literally. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Literally. | |
| The only way to get there is you gotta suck God off. | ||
| Imagine if that was a thing. | ||
| That sounds stupid, right? | ||
| But God tried to test a guy in the Bible to kill his kid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You don't think God would get you right to the point where you're at the tip and he'd go, psych? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, just for the record, you were going to do it. | |
| You fucking loser. | ||
| You suck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You almost sucked my dick. | |
| Why'd you make me? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You really think that if God would have you suck his dick? | |
| I could have anybody suck my dick. | ||
| I'm God. | ||
| Why would I want to get this fucking stand-up comedian to suck my dick? | ||
| Damn, that is a philosophical question. | ||
| It is, if you think about what God... | ||
| Does God get ahead? | ||
| But if you think about what God forced people to do in the Bible, you know what I mean? | ||
| Who are the two brothers? | ||
| Or the father and the son? | ||
| Who are the father and the son, rather, that he was... | ||
| Oh, that was Abraham and... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What was that kid's name? | ||
| What was that pussy's name, dude? | ||
| Imagine one lady... | ||
| Isaac, fuck. | ||
| Imagine one lady eats an apple, and he's like, I'm done with you people. | ||
| I'm done with the whole race, forever. | ||
| No more love, no more Eden, no more beautiful, perfect world, because one person ate an apple. | ||
| Do you think it's ridiculous that that same god would want you to suck his dick? | ||
| No. | ||
| Sounds like a crazy god. | ||
| No, yeah, that god's... | ||
| But he wouldn't actually let you do it. | ||
| He just said he'd want you to beg for it, and then he'd go, no, no, no. | ||
| Oh, a little Caravaggio? | ||
| What is he doing here? | ||
| Depiction of Abraham. | ||
| Oh, is Abraham about to kill his son? | ||
| Angel telling him to stop. | ||
| Give me credit on that Caravaggio. | ||
| An angel told him to stop. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Clearly, that's probably, if that really did happen, clearly, schizophrenia, right? | ||
| Like, one of the earliest examples. | ||
| I mean, come on. | ||
| Schizophrenia can't be new. | ||
| That's literally every homeless dude in Central Park. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| It's like, God told me to fucking do this. | ||
| I mean, why is a sheep herder with a fucking stone knife? | ||
| Wild times, man. | ||
| I mean, who knows what really happened that was the original version of these stories? | ||
| Damn, is that that kid's dick sticking out? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Damn, I wonder if he wanted to kill him, his fucking huge dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can't believe my son's got such a cock. | |
| Dude, I mean, what were the original stories? | ||
| That's what's crazy about any religious doctrine. | ||
| I mean, the Mormons are the best example of it, right? | ||
| Because they know who wrote it. | ||
| But you have these religious doctrines. | ||
| I like the Mormons. | ||
| They're good bros. | ||
| They're the nicest people. | ||
| They do kind of rule. | ||
| They kind of rule. | ||
| But boy, I'm not certain about a lot of people being wrong. | ||
| That one seems sus, as the kids say today. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's sus. | |
| So sus. | ||
| A 14-year-old boy in 1820 found golden tablets that contained the lost work of Jesus, and only he could read it because he had a magic rock A seer stone, if you will. | ||
| So when the townspeople came to find these magic tablets, the fucking angels took them away. | ||
| God was like, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not going to show anybody but you, Joseph Smith. | |
| Can you imagine Joseph being like... | ||
| No liar and con, man. | ||
| No way this works. | ||
| He was probably schizophrenic, too. | ||
| I mean, if you're a schizophrenic 14-year-old in 1820, and you're really charismatic, you'd probably convince a lot of people of a lot of stupid shit. | ||
| Schizophrenic wearing a top hat and like a tall coat, I'd believe him. | ||
| Man, bro, back then, you could trick people. | ||
| This was a snake oil salesman. | ||
| They'd pull up in the, you know, this can cure all ales, tuberculosis. | ||
| Yeah, he'd be like, oh, thank God. | ||
| You remember then in the Outlaw Josie Wales? | ||
| He spits on him, he goes, how's it with tobacco juice? | ||
| No. | ||
| You've never seen that scene? | ||
| No, I don't think I have. | ||
| Oh, it's great. | ||
| It's a great scene. | ||
| Find that, Jamie. | ||
| Outlaw Josie Wales and the snake oil salesman. | ||
| Outlaw Josie Wales fucking rules. | ||
| Is that Clint Eastwood? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Is that Clint Eastwood? | ||
| You've never seen the Outlaw Josie Wales and you've seen All Quiet on the Western Front? | ||
| Bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How? | |
| I'll watch that. | ||
| You watch that. | ||
| I will watch it. | ||
| All Quiet on the Western Front. | ||
| I just gotta watch it on a day where I don't have anything else to do but be depressed. | ||
| You're gonna be sad. | ||
| I get so sad. | ||
| You're gonna go, I can't believe people did this. | ||
| Dude, looking at those paintings of that guy with the gas masks on, I was like, Otto Dix. | ||
| I was like, fuck, man. | ||
| What did that guy see? | ||
|
unidentified
|
And the engine better makes you fat or a little fatter. | |
| Look away, look away, look away, Dixie Man. | ||
| So he was a Confederate soldier and they were after him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is at the end of the war. | |
| And so this guy is gonna turn him in, because he's like, everybody knows who he is, and they figured out who he is, and he's worth a lot of money. | ||
| And so that guy is singing Dixie, but as soon as he goes the other way, he's gonna be singing the Union Army song. | ||
| See? | ||
| Oh, that's what he just spit on him. | ||
| Here, sorry, I've talked over. | ||
| Here is it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
One dollar a bottle. | |
| It works wonders on wounds. | ||
| Which one isn't just about everything, huh? | ||
| It can do most anything. | ||
| That dude that he's with is a kid who winds up getting shot and killed. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| I was going to watch it. | ||
| It's a good movie, man. | ||
| But there's a scene where he was hiding underneath his blanket and he was pretending that he's sick. | ||
| And these robbers came up and he shot these dudes. | ||
| And... | ||
| After he said to Outlaw Josie Warehouse, he goes, we whooped him again, Josie. | ||
| We whooped him again. | ||
| I used to say that all the time when I got off stage. | ||
| We whooped him again, Josie. | ||
| We whooped him again. | ||
| It's funny you say that. | ||
| I say that at the end of the Battle of Shiloh, they were asking Ulysses Grant because they got rocked on the first day. | ||
| And they were like, they gave us hell today. | ||
| And he goes, yeah, we'll lick them tomorrow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Great rules. | |
| Imagine that was a thing that meant you kicked someone's ass, lick them? | ||
| We'll lick them. | ||
| How did that happen? | ||
| My dad still says bitch. | ||
| Like, he's a bitch. | ||
| Somebody's like, tough. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| He's a bitch. | ||
| Really? | ||
| He genuinely says that all the time. | ||
| Oh, it went the other way? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it's... | ||
| I don't know if that's old or just what they said in a creek in Mechanicsburg. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| He's a bitch. | ||
| Like a bitch of a time? | ||
| A bitch of a time, yeah. | ||
| A guy would have to be so tough that you knew what he was saying. | ||
| Or you're crazy. | ||
| You could be one of those guys who wants to fight Mike Tyson. | ||
| Fuck you! | ||
| He's a pussy. | ||
| It's on, on site. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're not man enough to live in my world. | |
| I'll fuck you till you love me. | ||
| Bro! | ||
| I used to have a bit about that. | ||
| That might be the number one scariest. | ||
| I used to have a bit about that. | ||
| I was like, do you know how long that would take? | ||
| He would have to fuck you for years. | ||
| And he would have to trust you that you loved him. | ||
| He would have to decide. | ||
| Stockholm syndrome. | ||
| I don't believe you. | ||
| You're lying. | ||
| Get back in there. | ||
| But that is a case of a guy who thinks he's protected by laws getting out of line and insulting one of the greatest boxers of all time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're just insulting him, saying, you should be in a straitjacket. | ||
| How about shut your mouth and write things down? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Don't provoke that guy. | ||
| Are you fucking crazy? | ||
| He just bit Lennox Lewis. | ||
| You don't think he'll punch you? | ||
| This is a Reddit post from Scoop Malinowski, who was the reporter. | ||
| Who did that quote? | ||
| Nine years ago. | ||
| Oh, that's the guy? | ||
| We were trying to figure out who he was. | ||
| I found out the other day, but you guys were so far along, I didn't want to bring it back up, but since you did now... | ||
| Nine years ago he wrote this. | ||
| We've talked about this before. | ||
| I was thinking, yeah, yeah, yeah, I talk about it all the time. | ||
| I want to know who this guy is, because it's so crazy to have that guy screaming at you? | ||
| How terrifying must that have been? | ||
| So I was thinking, why isn't anybody doing anything to stop this madman who just assaulted the heavyweight champ and then came out grabbing his nuts and sneering and swearing at the crowd? | ||
| First I booed him from row seven. | ||
| He did not like that, and he shot me a glare. | ||
| Then we turned his back. | ||
| I yelled, put him in a straight jacket. | ||
| That's when all hell broke loose. | ||
| For the first two to three seconds, I almost had a heart attack. | ||
| LOL. But then I froze, and we just looked each other in the eye for about a minute as he did his tirade. | ||
| I kept my cool, which seems to fluster him at the end, as he became embarrassed and even seemed to have tears in his eyes. | ||
| It was a bad period in his life. | ||
| He knew he was going to lose to Lewis, and despite the $30 million payday, he was still going to be in debt as his purse was going to all his creditors. | ||
| His second wife was also divorcing him, so it was a rock bottom time for Tyson. | ||
| This guy's like psychologically examining Tyson now. | ||
| He's since turned his life around, become a positive example. | ||
| I actually had dinner with him after the memorial for our mutual friend and the artist, Leroy Neiman, a couple of years ago. | ||
| Oh, that's interesting. | ||
| At Ringside Lounge in Jersey City, in Jersey, we even did an interview about tennis. | ||
| He said, Navarrolova is the greatest, not Serena. | ||
| We also spent time together... | ||
| This is also random. | ||
| I also attended two of his Undisputed Truth shows on Broadway at the invite of a mutual friend, Mario Costa. | ||
| Mike is at peace now and in a great place. | ||
| He's very busy, involved in many projects. | ||
| I'm happy to say it looks like it would ultimately be a happy ending, not a tragic one for Mike Tyson, when the day comes decades down the road. | ||
| Thanks for asking. | ||
| That's not a good... | ||
| Pussy. | ||
| Fuck that guy. | ||
| No, fuck that guy. | ||
| Pot, but he's a journalist, okay? | ||
| That's the most journalist shit ever. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| He was wrong. | ||
| It's like, you yelled, he put him in a straitjacket. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He definitely didn't provoke him. | ||
| And if that guy made eye contact with Mike while he was yelling that for a minute, no. | ||
| Yeah, but this, listen, this is... | ||
| Going to the same dinner? | ||
| No, he was just in the room. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| If Mike knew who he was. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| I bet Mike forgave him. | ||
| I guarantee you Mike did. | ||
| There's the New York Times story on it, too, that talks about it. | ||
| It says, Ryder lost his head seeing Tyson's antics. | ||
| Mark Malinowski calls himself Scoop. | ||
| His signature apparel is an anarchist. | ||
| Ugh. | ||
| Tuesday, Malinowski, 35, a freelance writer of self-syndicated feature called Biophiles, watched Mike Tyson and Lennox Lewis brawled on stage in the Hudson Theater in Manhattan. | ||
| Okay, when Tyson emerged from the scrum, Malinowski booed him. | ||
| That's pretty much just explaining everything that happened. | ||
| This was just from 2002. Exactly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, they're both different people now. | ||
| He was wearing a fedora with a thing that said press in the side. | ||
| Yeah, and his little icon. | ||
| This guy's a fucking dork. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| I'm not afraid to touch it on him. | ||
| I'm not afraid to touch it on him. | ||
| I was a comedian. | ||
| You're not man enough, Malinowski. | ||
| Yeah, that's a problem. | ||
| Well, you know, you just don't fucking... | ||
| When the guy just gets in the middle of a brawl and you're going to taunt him? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Put him in a straitjacket. | ||
| Also, that sucks. | ||
| Like, if you could go back and say something more clever, wouldn't you? | ||
| I think that's him with his fedora. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| He's talking to Triple G. That's super out of a cartoon, though. | ||
| So he's still out there. | ||
| So he's still out there. | ||
| I think that's him, yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I wonder if he became notorious. | ||
| There's him and Tyson. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, nice. | |
| See? | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Dude, Mike's a nice fucking guy, dude. | ||
| He really is. | ||
| He's a real nice guy. | ||
| He's a sweetheart. | ||
| He's a sweetheart. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Put him in a straitjacket and then he comes back with, I'm going to fuck you. | |
| But I believe now, I know. | ||
| I'll fuck you too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You love me. | |
| Put him in a straitjacket. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| You couldn't live a minute in my world. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my God, it was amazing. | ||
| Dropped f-bombs, four or five of them. | ||
| It was great. | ||
| It was actually one of the- It was pure. | ||
| It was the scariest shit talking I've ever heard. | ||
| The scariest. | ||
| Cause real. | ||
| Cause he could do it. | ||
| You white pussy. | ||
| You have a goddamn thing to say about it. | ||
| He's just gonna do whatever he wants to do. | ||
| Imagine wearing that fedora and saying that to Mike Tyson. | ||
| Put him in a striped jacket. | ||
| And then getting hit with, I'm gonna fuck you till you love me. | ||
| Yeah, there's the... | ||
| We talked about this the other day. | ||
| He got fined, like, hundreds of thousands of dollars for biting Lennox Lewis. | ||
| Look how good he looked back then, physically. | ||
| Goddamn, he's in a tank. | ||
| He's grabbing his dick. | ||
| I like how this guy's got his arm on his jacket. | ||
| He's covering up Tyson's dick. | ||
| Watch how this guy covers up Tyson's dick. | ||
| All right, champ. | ||
| Take it easy, champ. | ||
| Watch how he does this. | ||
| No one needs to see this. | ||
| Michael. | ||
| Michael, we're gonna hide that. | ||
| Imagine, like, everyone already saw it. | ||
| You can't, like, if that guy holds his jacket, is that like an erasing machine, like, from fucking Men in Black? | ||
| I just saw him grab his dick! | ||
| No, he wasn't doing that. | ||
| He was grabbing his dick! | ||
| He wasn't just fighting. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He wasn't just biting Lennox Lewis in the thigh. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| That was like the first Tyson fight I ever watched. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Tyson Lewis. | ||
| I was too young for all of his, everything he did. | ||
| I saw Tyson Lewis. | ||
| Lewis was a bad man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Ooh, he was a bad man. | ||
| He's an interesting guy, too. | ||
| Plays a lot of chess. | ||
| Really? | ||
| That's what he does. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just kind of chills and plays chess. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| You put that British accent on anyone. | ||
| I know. | ||
| That makes it look cool. | ||
| And you're like, wait a second. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| When it comes to fighting, you're like, no way. | ||
| Really? | ||
| To me. | ||
| If they have a British accent. | ||
| Well, it was back in the 80s, that was the case. | ||
| It's like Frank Bruno. | ||
| Think of Leon. | ||
| Leon Edwards? | ||
| Yeah, you hear that accent. | ||
| Every single comment about him is like, yeah, he's such a nice guy. | ||
| He is a nice guy, though. | ||
| Yeah, he wins the fight, he's like, headshot, bang, fuck you! | ||
| Yeah, well, he was a little fired up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, he was losing to the number one pound-for-pound guy in the world. | ||
| And he headshot kicked him. | ||
| I mean, that shit was magic. | ||
| Video makes me tear up. | ||
| The trainer? | ||
| Made me tear up. | ||
| The trainer saying it? | ||
| Dude. | ||
| He's like, you gotta pull this out of the fire. | ||
| Well, he was saying that it made me tear up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Interviewing him made me tear up. | ||
| That's like the coolest, that interview of him getting like... | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| You just get to witness a guy being the happiest dude on earth. | ||
| The happiest. | ||
| That anybody could ever be. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My other favorite one is Stylebender after he knocked out Polaton. | ||
| Look at me now! | ||
| Look at this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Headshot. | |
| Leon, were there moments in the fight? | ||
| Coming into the fifth round, you were behind on the scores. | ||
| Were there moments where you were doubting? | ||
| I know, I know. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| I'm from the trenches. | ||
| I'm built like this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll go to the bounds done. | |
| That's it. | ||
| I'm from the trenches. | ||
| I've been dying the whole nights now. | ||
| Look at me now. | ||
| I mean, those guys must have been so sad. | ||
| They must have been so sad watching that. | ||
| So sad. | ||
| During the whole fight? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| At the moment. | ||
| This is my favorite. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Powerful power walk. | |
| Powerful power walk. | ||
| There is no power for power. | ||
| The battle belongs to nobody. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Bro, that's some profound shit right there. | ||
| There is no pound for pound. | ||
| The belt belongs to nobody. | ||
| After he just won it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's when it's real. | ||
| I mean, he just won it in the most spectacular manner possible. | ||
| The greatest way to win a fight, by far, is a head kick knockout. | ||
| There is no wilder thing to see. | ||
| And for him to land that in the fifth round of a fight that he was losing and then say, there is no pound for pound. | ||
| The belt belongs to nobody. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like Christ-like. | ||
| It's heavy, dude. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Because that guy is in the most elevated state of understanding what winning is all about. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ever. | |
| There's no higher level. | ||
| He beats the best pound for pound fighter in the world, becomes the UFC welterweight champ, in a fight he was losing! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And head kicks him. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| And walks off. | ||
| He hit the McGregor. | ||
| He hit the fucking... | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He did. | |
| Holy shit. | ||
| Bro, when he head kicked... | ||
| See, you can find the actual head kick, because when he head kicked him, he doesn't even think about following up. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cloth from which he is caught. | |
| No! | ||
| Just walked off. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| I mean, come on, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We've probably done this a thousand times. | ||
| That guy... | ||
| Can you get the trainer's speech? | ||
| That guy's in... | ||
| Like the Rocky music? | ||
| He's in a separate dimension when that happens. | ||
| Like, his fucking spirit transcends. | ||
| There's one that's just a video of that. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| You can get it. | ||
| They probably pulled the Rocky music off of YouTube. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, yeah, this is so good. | |
| This is the one. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's 101. Come on, Neil. | |
| This is early. | ||
| He's like, come on, come on, come on. | ||
| Don't let him bully yourself. | ||
| It's so nice, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
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Get down! | |
| Listen! | ||
| Listen! | ||
| You've got to get f*** out of you now, Leon! | ||
| You're too down. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| You're letting them control you too much, son. | ||
| You've got to get your hands going, Leon. | ||
| You've got to get your hands going. | ||
| Come on! | ||
| Look where you clean to the other. | ||
| Look how tired he is. | ||
|
unidentified
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I mean if you're not drinking beer and watching this video, you're not living dude. | |
| How great is that coach? | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Insane. | |
| Insane. | ||
| It's joyful. | ||
| The fact that his nickname is Rocky, and then the fact that this is like literally one of the most spectacular victories in the history of the sport. | ||
| Holy shit, man. | ||
| I fall down the same rabbit hole every time I watch UFC. I watch Conor Nate 1, then I watch Nate Leon. | ||
| Nate Leon's like my favorite. | ||
| It's a great fight. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| It's a great fight. | ||
| When he starts hitting him, when Nate starts hitting him. | ||
| When Nate cracked him and rocked him and then he points at him. | ||
| I couldn't believe it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because he was losing that fight. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I mean, Leon was doing, like, moves. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was doing, like, spinning elbows to the head. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All Nate would give him was, like, a... | ||
| Oh, that one worked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's it, dude. | ||
| That left hand was perfect, too. | ||
| Then he starts running from him. | ||
| Watch. | ||
| When Leon inflicks him off... | ||
| Right here, he runs. | ||
| He almost had him, dude. | ||
| Dude, he almost had him. | ||
| He's winding up. | ||
| Nate literally almost had him. | ||
| I mean, there's multiple moments in this fight where Leon's in so much trouble after that punch that he could have got KO'd. | ||
| Multiple moments. | ||
| I mean, he's in the fire right here. | ||
| Yeah, his legs don't work. | ||
| And Nate almost clipped him with the same one, too. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| I mean, he's literally running away from him. | ||
| And he just looked at the clock and got a clip of the right hook. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Nate always has the wildest cardio. | ||
| Him and his brother had the best cardio. | ||
| I watched... | ||
| Bro, his brother? | ||
| His brother. | ||
| I was too... | ||
| Strikeforce? | ||
| I wasn't into it with Nick. | ||
| Oh my god, dude. | ||
| You want to see some wild shit? | ||
| I've watched Nick versus Anderson. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, that's great. | |
| When he's like fucking with Anderson Silva. | ||
| Yeah, when he naps on the ground. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| But you got to go back to Paul Daly versus Nick Diaz. | ||
| You want to see a wild fight? | ||
| Nick Diaz was the fucking man. | ||
| Dude, he had the most ridiculous cardio. | ||
| And Paul Daly was one of the scariest strikers that's ever fought in the sport. | ||
| Paul Daly has like a nuclear left hand. | ||
| This is Frank Shamrock. | ||
| He beat the fuck out of Frank Shamrock in this fight. | ||
| And he kept talking shit to him the whole time. | ||
| Dude, Nick Diaz was the man. | ||
| And he had insane cardio. | ||
| The thing that he had over everybody was that, first of all, he didn't give a fuck if you hit him. | ||
| He wasn't worried about getting hit at all, which is crazy. | ||
| But on top of that, this motherfucker swam back and forth from Alcatraz. | ||
| He swam back from Alcatraz five times. | ||
| He's got insane cardio. | ||
| Like, does triathlons for funsies. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| No, I mean that. | ||
| So he would get hit by these guys who would swarm him, but eventually he would start putting it on him. | ||
| He just never got tired, dude. | ||
| He just never got tired, and he didn't give up. | ||
| Like, his style was like, fuck you. | ||
| Just starts beating dudes up. | ||
| It's so fun. | ||
| Look, bro, look how he rips to the body. | ||
| I mean, Nate's great, but Nick was the real star of the family. | ||
| He just never got to the UFC while he was in this state. | ||
| If he was a UFC champion while he was in this form, because he was in a form during Strikeforce where he was fucking up everybody. | ||
| And not just knocking them out and beating them up, like this fight right here. | ||
| Go to the Frank Shamrock fight. | ||
| The Frank Shamrock fight, like Frank Shamrock was a fucking legend, man. | ||
| Frank was a legend. | ||
| And he submitted a lot of guys, too. | ||
| That's the other thing about Nick. | ||
| Like, Nick had a fucking nasty guard. | ||
| I believe he submitted Cyborg with an arm bar. | ||
| He was just a killer, man. | ||
| Just a real killer. | ||
| And the thing is, he would keep talking shit to you and keep punching you, and you're getting tired. | ||
| And he stays on you. | ||
| And you just don't get any breathing room. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| Constantly, constantly, staying on you. | ||
| And you've got to realize how good Frank Shamrock was in his prime. | ||
| Because Frank was like the original mixed martial artist, the original complete mixed martial artist. | ||
| And here, Nick's just beating him down. | ||
| It was like a true changing of the guard. | ||
| Like, Nick would just fucking... | ||
| Like, gave him... | ||
| He had no chance. | ||
| He didn't present any problems to Nick. | ||
| Which is just wild to think that a guy could do that to a guy like Fran Chimer. | ||
| That's how good Nick Diaz was when he was in his prime. | ||
| He was just doing that over in Strikeforce. | ||
| And the problem was the audience was just quite a bit smaller. | ||
| The Diaz... | ||
| This is him versus... | ||
| Fucking with people is so funny in this sport. | ||
| It's such a crazy sport. | ||
| And then there's a dude out there like... | ||
| Flicking you off? | ||
| This is Scott Smith. | ||
| This guy's a dangerous fucking striker. | ||
| Super dangerous. | ||
| Knocked a lot of people out. | ||
| Knocked one of my friends out. | ||
| This guy was a fucking killer. | ||
| And Nick just beat me. | ||
| He knocked one of your friends out? | ||
| He knocked one of my friends out. | ||
| You guys just having fun? | ||
| No, they were in a UFC fight. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| But this guy was super dangerous. | ||
| This is another guy that just had just ridiculous knockout power and just tough as shit. | ||
| But you're just dealing with a guy in Nick that literally never got tired, was as game as they came, didn't give a fuck, just in there having fun. | ||
| Dude, he had one of his fights overturned because he was literally high while he was fighting. | ||
| So the Gomi fight... | ||
| So they said no? | ||
| They overturned it because it was in Vegas. | ||
| They did something. | ||
| They overturned the decision because he was high. | ||
| Because he tested positive for weed? | ||
| He was fucking high. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, God. | |
| That's not good. | ||
| That's not going to help you in a fight? | ||
| I bet it would. | ||
| Maybe for them, but I'm sure it's not like a... | ||
| Find... | ||
| Nick Diaz, I think it was Gomi. | ||
| I think it was Takenori Gomi that he submitted. | ||
| I'm pretty sure it was Gomi because Gomi was a super dangerous guy from Japan who was a baseball player that converted into fighting and he would throw a right hand literally like a fucking fastball, man. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| Yeah, so Nick is putting it on him, but Gomi cracked him. | ||
| Gomi cracked him and hurt him at one point in time, and he got like a big cut over one of his cheeks. | ||
| Everybody's so tired fighting these dudes. | ||
| Well, this is just, this is how Nick would do people. | ||
| He would just put it on them. | ||
| No, you gotta go a little bit back up so you see what happened. | ||
| Yeah, but this is it. | ||
| Just go right here. | ||
| So what happened was, Nick was putting it on him, and Gomi tried to take him down, and Nick put him in a gogoplata. | ||
| Did they not show it? | ||
| Oh, here it is. | ||
| Oh, they're gonna show it here. | ||
| So here, Nick is beating him up, and then Gomi goes to try to take him down, and Nick gets him in a wild maneuver. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| He's got his shin across the dude's neck. | ||
| It's a gogoplata. | ||
| I mean, it's like a crazy move to pull off in MMA. Almost never happens. | ||
| And for Nick to pull it off on Gomi, high as a kite... | ||
| Wait, this is the fight he lost because he was high? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| He's high as fuck during the- because this fight- this was Pride. | ||
| Pride had one event that was in Las Vegas. | ||
| I'm 90% sure of that. | ||
| Check on that. | ||
| I think that- I believe that fight was in Vegas, which was the problem. | ||
| We had beers? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, we should probably wrap this up anyway. | ||
| We gotta get out of here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alright. | |
| We've been here three hours at least. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I think. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| Give or take? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| 2.30 on my clock. | ||
| The second we get to Diaz highlights and R. Kelly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We've reached. | |
| That's what we do. | ||
| We're at the pinnacle. | ||
| We're a podcast pinnacle. | ||
| We got a show in a little bit. | ||
| Let's go have fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All right. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| You're awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love you. | |
| You're the man. | ||
| The shit rules. | ||
| Shane Gillis watches a new special on Netflix. | ||
| Beautiful Dogs. | ||
| It's fucking amazing. | ||
| All Your Shit. | ||
| Gillian Keeves available on Patreon. | ||
| It's on YouTube. | ||
| It's on everywhere. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You find it. | ||
| Some of the best sketches. | ||
| Those sketches are fucking amazing. | ||
| They really are. | ||
| You go for it. | ||
| It's real. | ||
| The fucking dad with the OnlyFans. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. |
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