Dec. 23, 2021 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:31:19
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
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unidentified
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Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. | |
| The Joe Rogan experience. | ||
| Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. | ||
| We're up, Ryan. | ||
| We're up. | ||
| We're here, man. | ||
| What's going on, brother? | ||
| Good to see you. | ||
| It's happening. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It is indeed. | ||
| Cheers, sir. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Merry Christmas. | ||
| Happy New Year. | ||
| All that good stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yay. | |
| You know how people started doing that? | ||
|
unidentified
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Why? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| Because during prohibition, it was a way to try to tell if you had bullshit alcohol because if you banged it and it bubbled, then you knew it wasn't. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, because people would sell bullshit alcohol. | ||
| Isn't that funny because that's exactly what's going on with the fentanyl overdoses? | ||
| The reason why fentanyl is rampant through this country is because people are getting this shit from Mexico because heroin's illegal. | ||
| So they're getting it from Mexico. | ||
| They're getting the coke from Mexico, and it's laced with fentanyl. | ||
| And all that stuff is laced, and the reason why they do it, they cut it to make it stronger so they can have less cocaine, because fentanyl's cheap. | ||
| And that's why all these people are dying. | ||
| So they can transport more? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Do you know the number one cause of death between people 18 to 49 right now is fentanyl? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| 100,000 people died last year from fentanyl. | ||
| That's a real epidemic. | ||
| That is a real epidemic. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yes, it's crazy. | ||
| Way more than died from COVID with the same age class. | ||
| Yeah, we recently had a bunch of comics pass from Fentanyl. | ||
| Yeah, that whole thing with Quigley and those three dudes she was hanging with. | ||
| And then I remember seeing, you know, so I'm checking on my people that I know, you know, do a little bit of the powder. | ||
| And I'm like, hey, man, you know, and a lot of people are like, oh, I've got to leave this shit alone. | ||
| I've got to leave this shit alone. | ||
| I was like, why doesn't everybody just test? | ||
| And he goes, you can test it? | ||
| I was like, yeah, you can test it. | ||
| He was like, we'll party tonight. | ||
| You know, it's like, you can just go get the... | ||
| It's like, man, you haven't learned shit. | ||
| Dude, if heroin was legal, if cocaine was legal, you'd get it straight from the source. | ||
| You'd get real cocaine that's not cut at all. | ||
| It would be probably, I've never done coke, but the way they describe it, it's like a much better experience, and then you don't have to worry about it, and then you know what you're doing. | ||
| Yeah, I'm in the legalize everything camp, you know? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| We talked about it last time I was here. | ||
| Just legalize it all. | ||
|
unidentified
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Have it come, have the FDA. Exactly. | |
| It's scalable, right? | ||
| It's like, what would you do if it was just the three of us? | ||
| Imagine if it was just the three of us were on an island and Jamie's like, marijuana should be illegal. | ||
| And we were like, what the fuck? | ||
| Jamie wants to lock us up for marijuana. | ||
| Like, that would be crazy. | ||
| We'd have to kill Jamie. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| We'd just be like, well, there's two of us. | ||
| Yeah, we're like, what the fuck are you talking about, man? | ||
| But that's exactly what it's like with the government. | ||
| With the government, it's like one person versus three or four, whatever it is. | ||
| It's like a small group of people that are deciding that things should be illegal. | ||
| And then it's a bunch of parents that don't want their children to get addicted. | ||
| And I understand that. | ||
| I'm a parent. | ||
| I don't want my children to get addicted. | ||
| But that's what is happening. | ||
| That's what's happening. | ||
| Here's always my pushback on that, right? | ||
| Is all of the horrible things that have happened with drugs have happened During the prohibition era. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So, you know, making it legal isn't going to make it more likely that your kids are going to get addicted. | ||
| In fact, they know, wasn't it where they studied the people coming back from Vietnam? | ||
| And they were like, the people that did heroin over there would come back. | ||
| And the ones that had, like, loving, supportive environments and family, they stopped doing heroin. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But it's hard to say to somebody that lost someone. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, I've lost very good friends. | ||
| One of my best friends in life died of a drug overdose. | ||
| He died from pills. | ||
| I'm not exactly sure, but I think he was on Oxys. | ||
| And this was in the early 2000s. | ||
| It's an epidemic. | ||
| It's terrible. | ||
| But I feel like you should be able to make your own choices. | ||
| Look, we're here drinking scotch. | ||
| If I drank this bottle and you drank that bottle, we might both be dead. | ||
| You know? | ||
| We drank a whole bottle of this stuff. | ||
| Let me just go to the hospital. | ||
| You're gonna get fucked up. | ||
| If we drank all the liquor on that table, we just decided in an hour to drink all the liquor on the table, we'd be dead. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| But we're not gonna do that, right? | ||
| We're adults. | ||
| And I think the same would be the case if people had access to real cocaine and real heroin. | ||
| I'm not saying you should do cocaine and heroin. | ||
| Look, I'm a fucking exercise fiend. | ||
| I'm not thinking they should just go and do drugs all the time. | ||
| You shouldn't. | ||
| But you're an adult. | ||
| You should be able to make up your own choices. | ||
| And no other adult should be able to tell you what you can and can't do. | ||
| All the things that you do that are illegal that people blame drugs on, like driving under the influence or going crazy and murdering people, we have laws already for those things. | ||
| You already can't do those things. | ||
| The drug is not the problem. | ||
| The problem is, have you ever heard Gabor Mate talk about drugs and addiction? | ||
| No, I don't know what it is. | ||
| He's a very interesting guy. | ||
| He's an expert on drugs and addiction and all the real fallacies. | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| Gabor Mate? | ||
| Gabor Mate. | ||
| M-A-T-E. But he's saying it all comes from trauma. | ||
| I mean, all these people that are severely addicted, all those people that you see that are homeless and they're just shooting up and smoking crack, those people are all sexually abused, physically abused, beaten. | ||
| They've come from traumatic backgrounds. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| The problem is not the drugs. | ||
| But they lost everything. | ||
| It's the environment. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I remember the Cat Williams joke where he's like... | ||
| He's like aspirin is perfectly legal. | ||
| You take 15 in the motherfuckers, that'll be your last headache. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| You know? | ||
| That's a good way to put it. | ||
| Yeah, it's like... | ||
| But nobody wants to really address the environment thing because that's a bigger... | ||
| That's not a simple fix. | ||
| Bro, eat a pound of salt. | ||
| You're dead as fuck. | ||
| Take one pound of salt. | ||
| Eat it. | ||
| You're dead. | ||
| Yeah, I think if you eat a pound of anything, you're pretty much gone, right? | ||
|
unidentified
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Well... | |
| You probably get away with a pound of sugar. | ||
| Unless you're a professional... | ||
| There's a lot of people out there eat a pound of sugar a day. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, for the longest time of my life, I never thought about it. | ||
| Like, when you go to a restaurant over there and go, this is a quarter pound of beef. | ||
| Or this is, you know, this is a half pound burger. | ||
| And it's like, I never really put that together. | ||
| Like, oh, I'm putting... | ||
| I'm putting a half a pound of meat in my stomach. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's not good for you. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It doesn't matter how it's cooked? | ||
| Bro, people have been eating meat since the dawn of time. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with meat. | ||
| What's wrong with people's diets is all the shit they eat with meat. | ||
| That's why those epidemiology studies are so flawed. | ||
| Because those studies are never done. | ||
| An epidemiology study is like, they quiz a bunch of people, they give them a form to fill out, and they say, how many times a week do you eat meat? | ||
| And then they look for instances of cancer, instances of heart attacks, high blood pressure, and then they make a correlation. | ||
| The problem with that is, they're not asking, what are you doing with the meat? | ||
| Are you eating cheeseburgers on a sugary bun with a bunch of fries dipped in fat? | ||
| Are you drinking it with a large Coca-Cola that's all sugar? | ||
| What is your diet like? | ||
| Are you smoking cigarettes? | ||
| Are you doing this? | ||
| Are you doing that? | ||
| And then you'd get a better baseline. | ||
| If you said to a person, what are you eating? | ||
| And they say, well, I eat a 16-ounce grass-fed ribeye, and then I'll have some steamed broccoli or some sautéed spinach. | ||
| Look at those fucking people. | ||
| They're healthy as shit. | ||
| If you're exercising and your body's not overweight and you're taking care of yourself, there's nothing wrong with meat. | ||
| I don't do any of those things. | ||
| Damn it! | ||
| No, I gotta start. | ||
| I was telling her, I need to spend like a month at David Gargan's house. | ||
| You don't want to do that. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, he might fucking kill me. | ||
| You don't want to do that. | ||
| Get up, son! | ||
| Dance on tomorrow! | ||
| Have you ever kicked it with, like, chill with that dude in his environment? | ||
| Well, I never worked out with him, but I've hung out with him multiple. | ||
| I just hung out with him a couple days and go in Vegas. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah, I saw he was on the other day. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| I did go to Vegas, Jamie, but I only went for about four hours. | ||
| This is what happened. | ||
| Went to Andrew Schultz's wedding, and then Whitney Cummings said, I gotta leave at 645. I'm gonna do a set in Vegas, and then I'm gonna fly back tonight at 10 o'clock. | ||
| I go, really? | ||
| And so it was me, Lex Friedman, my wife, and Whitney. | ||
| And we said, fuck it, let's go. | ||
| So we went and Whitney did a private party at this lady's house with Dana Carvey. | ||
| Yeah, some rich lady. | ||
| And so we do this, we do the gig, and then we go back. | ||
| They had gotten her a private jet. | ||
| We go back and the private jet was broken. | ||
| No pilot, no one to get back. | ||
| So we wound up taking a fucking car. | ||
| We had to get a car service to drive us back. | ||
| To L.A.? Yeah, from Vegas to LA. We got back at 5.30 in the morning. | ||
| But in the meantime, we hung out at the, what's it, the Wynn for a little bit and hung out with David. | ||
| I'm surprised David Goggins was like, let's run back. | ||
| He was doing push-up contests with Lex. | ||
| I got a video of them doing push-ups on the floor of the Mirage, or of the Wynn. | ||
| Was it close? | ||
| No. | ||
| Of course not. | ||
| No. | ||
| Lex was drunk. | ||
| David moved so fast when he was doing push-ups, I saw that. | ||
| Did you see that video? | ||
| Yeah, he just does them so fast. | ||
| Bro, he does push-ups all day. | ||
| There's no more disciplined human that's ever walked the face of the earth. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| I wish I could tell you about his knee injury, but he asked me not to explain exactly what they had done. | ||
| But you find out how fucked up his knee was, and now he's running thousands of miles on that knee. | ||
| Like, what the hell? | ||
| I had a one-off. | ||
| Lex, by the way, was 30 hours of no food and just drinking. | ||
| Why was he not eating? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That guy's not even doing them correctly. | ||
| Who was that? | ||
| That guy's some just dude who just showed up. | ||
| Look, there was a whole bunch of people in the lobby just filming these guys doing push-ups. | ||
| But look at Goggins. | ||
| He could do that all day. | ||
| All day. | ||
| He'll do thousands of push-ups. | ||
| Yeah, you don't want to work out. | ||
| You don't want to go to his house and work out. | ||
| He'll wake you up at 4 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| Who's going to carry the boats? | ||
| You'll be like, what? | ||
| What are boats? | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| We're in Nevada. | ||
| Yeah, he's an interesting dude. | ||
| I'm following him on Instagram every morning. | ||
| He's like, you're a pussy. | ||
| Don't be a pussy today. | ||
|
unidentified
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Stay hard! | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that's what he did to himself. | ||
| The beautiful thing about that guy is that he was 300 pounds, he was overweight, he was drinking milkshakes, and couldn't even run around the block, and then decided to turn himself into what we see today. | ||
| Yeah, I had a warrant officer like him when I was in the service. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| He was like older than all of us and just smoking us every... | ||
| Like you couldn't give him an excuse. | ||
| Because he was better than you at everything and older than you. | ||
| So it was like, there was no, my back hurts, I got a cramp, so what? | ||
| Because his attitude was like, so you're going to fail the mission because you got a cramp? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, in the military, that's exactly how they have to look at it. | ||
| You can't just wait for a day where you feel perfect. | ||
| Yeah, but when you got a leader like that in charge of you, though, when they're not just talking, when they're doing it, yeah, you'll run through a wall for that motherfucker. | ||
| That's the difference between someone who's a leader who is not walking the walk. | ||
| Those people get resented. | ||
| You fucking hate them. | ||
| The moment you see them be a hypocrite, it's like, it's over. | ||
| That's the key, I think, in companies and businesses and everything. | ||
| A person has to lead by example. | ||
| The people that are putting in the extra hours and extra work, you want to do work for them. | ||
| But when they want to go home and they tell you, you've got to stay until 2 o'clock in the morning to get this project done, And you're like, hey man, fuck you. | ||
| You're going to go home and you're going to leave me here. | ||
| You get paid more money than me. | ||
| This is your company. | ||
| It benefits you that I do this work and you're leaving. | ||
| I was just reading about the Peter Principle. | ||
| Have you heard of this? | ||
| No. | ||
| Where it's like the people at companies that do the best work get stuck with more work. | ||
| And so the people that are left get promoted. | ||
| And so you end up with this diluted middle management. | ||
| That's why people are miserable at their jobs. | ||
| Just because your boss is almost always going to be someone that isn't better than you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think it's probably super hard to find a company to work for where everybody's friendly. | ||
| And everybody's just having a good time and enjoying life. | ||
| I interviewed this guy the other day that... | ||
| So I was doing this thing for Netflix. | ||
| It's called My Favorite Thing. | ||
| So they let you take over the thing and then they find new people. | ||
| So my favorite thing was gaming. | ||
| And they found me, I did it with Eric Griffin and all this, but then they went and found me two professors of gaming. | ||
| So one of them, I fucking can't remember her name right now, but the guy, he was the professor of, he was a psychologist, and he specialized in the mentality of gamers online, and his whole thing is how workplaces should be set up more like Like, games. | ||
| Like, the way they develop games, the way they market them towards the people, the reward pattern and all that, to avoid the Peter Principle, right? | ||
| So it's like... | ||
| And the lady, she was a professor of, like, informatics that focused on gamers and her whole family games. | ||
| She games with her kids, she games with her husband, and we were just talking about how, like, it changes the bond... | ||
| Like, it's a bonding thing with your kids. | ||
| It's a trust building thing with your husband, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Right, so you have a team effort to go accomplish missions and shit. | ||
| Yeah, like they were fucking playing Diablo on Nightmare. | ||
| They're family. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, you get one life. | ||
| Can you imagine that? | ||
| That's hard. | ||
| That's hardcore. | ||
| I can't trust my mom to heal me. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I can't fuck with games. | ||
| I'm too addicted. | ||
| I have too much of an addictive personality. | ||
| I would try to do... | ||
| I would just try to play it all day. | ||
| Well, yeah, man. | ||
| I don't have a family, so it's... | ||
| I can get sucked in, man. | ||
| I mean, especially since, you know, now games are like, they're shameless. | ||
| Games are 100 bucks, 120 bucks, and it's like, I'm gonna put my time in this motherfucker. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And do you play the game by itself, or do you only play online? | ||
| It depends on what it is. | ||
| If it's like a competitive shooter or something like that, I play that online. | ||
| The problem with those things is there's so many people that are doing them all day long and you get sucked into that and then you want to compete at the level that they're at and the only way you can do that is if you play all day long. | ||
| It's impossible. | ||
| This is another thing. | ||
| I was telling Santino this, but I remember being at the comedy store, and I was in the back watching the Overwatch playoffs on my phone. | ||
| And then comics catch you doing something nerdy, they start giving you shit like they haven't been nerds their whole life. | ||
| And people were giving me shit about it. | ||
| Like, what are you doing? | ||
| I'm like, this is the playoffs. | ||
| They're like, what? | ||
| It's like they look down on it because, you know, how amazed you are by something is about how far away you see yourself from being able to do it. | ||
| What's interesting, too, is if you were watching, like, the World Chess Championship, they'd be like, oh, Brian's smart as fuck. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| Well, I watched that, too. | ||
| Right, but you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, there's games that are acceptable. | ||
| Right, but not that. | ||
| Yeah, you could even watch, like, tennis, right? | ||
| Tennis. | ||
| Anything that people don't think they could do. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But people see people playing a game and go, well, I play games. | ||
| But it's like, no, this motherfucker is so much better than you. | ||
| He is as much better than you at games as Michael Jordan is better than you at basketball. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, and it's hard for you to accept because he's 13 years old. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| And you can't wrap your head around the fact that he'll whoop your ass at every game you own. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| Yeah, these kids, like the high level, because a lot of times the kids, the people that are winning these tournaments and stuff, they're good at everything. | ||
| They'll win a tournament in another game too. | ||
| They get recruited, they get bought from other people, from other teams. | ||
| It's serious business. | ||
| They're making millions of dollars. | ||
| There's real money in it now, but we were kids, you were told that playing video games was a waste of time. | ||
| That mentality's still stuck in our head. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| You cost me millions, Grandma. | ||
| But it's still, for a lot of people, it is a waste of time. | ||
| Yeah, because you're never gonna... | ||
| Because even still, it's even... | ||
| It's just like athletes. | ||
| It's like the top... | ||
| 1%, the top less than that, 1% of people go pro and actually make a living from it. | ||
| But isn't that argument, couldn't you make that same argument about comics? | ||
| You have a new Netflix special that's out right now. | ||
| Yep, out right now. | ||
| And how many fucking comics start out and never have a Netflix special? | ||
| From open mic to Netflix special, 99.9%. | ||
| Oh yeah, for sure. | ||
| Same thing, right? | ||
| You're right, you're right. | ||
| So I think it rolls back to... | ||
| It's two things. | ||
| It's accurate self-assessment, which a lot of people lack the ability to do that. | ||
| And then it's also having people around you that love you enough to be like, this ain't it for you. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Because it's like your friends will... | ||
| Say your breath smells like shit at the party. | ||
| Your friends that love you will be like, hey man... | ||
| Eat this mint. | ||
| Your breath smells like shit. | ||
| But people that are just acquaintances or whatever, they'll just wait till you walk away and go, Joe's breath smells like shit. | ||
| Did you smell that? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| And so it's like, if somebody around you gotta love you enough to be like, bro, you got to stop this. | ||
| But some people, if they keep going, they will make it. | ||
| It's so hard. | ||
| Especially in the early days of comedy, man, it's hard to tell. | ||
| Yeah, it's because I've been wrong. | ||
| I've been wrong. | ||
| I've been wrong, too. | ||
| I've been like, he done got it, man. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| And I feel bad for some people, too. | ||
| And it's delusional. | ||
| Because here's the other thing, too. | ||
| You don't know. | ||
| You have to believe that you can. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
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But... | |
| But you gotta know. | ||
| You gotta know. | ||
| But you don't know if you're one of those people that's right or one of those people that's delusional. | ||
| And sometimes the difference between someone who's right and delusional is just effort. | ||
| It's just willpower, effort, time. | ||
| Sometimes not, though. | ||
| Sometimes they're just lacking the gene. | ||
| Yeah, some people don't got the... | ||
| Because the only time I'm 100% certain that somebody isn't going to make it is if they're not funny. | ||
| You have to be funny to be able to do the work to get... | ||
| Without saying any names, there's people that have made a career in comedy that are not funny at all. | ||
| Mark Norman. | ||
| Hey, Mark, he said it. | ||
| Not me. | ||
| Mark is also on season three of the stand-ups with me. | ||
| Mark Norman's brilliant, but there are legitimately non-hilarious people. | ||
| It's not going to happen, but yet they make a living doing comedy, and you always see them. | ||
| They're always trying to get on spots, and they'll ask you to be on your podcast, and you're like, yikes! | ||
| See, that's the thing. | ||
| I don't know if I mentioned this last time, but I realized something about the business, is that you can have talent, Or a lack of shame. | ||
| Or some mix of the two. | ||
| Because those people you're talking about, they have no shame. | ||
| They don't care if it's the 50th time they've asked you to be on your podcast. | ||
| They don't care if it's at your wedding. | ||
| They don't care if they saw you running the bathroom and you're taking a shit. | ||
| And they knock on the stall and go, hey Joe, just wanted to bother you real quick. | ||
| They don't feel... | ||
| Bad at all, because they know, and they've learned from experience, that eventually they'll wear you down to where you give it to them just so they'll leave you the fuck alone. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And if you got no shame, you good. | ||
| There's a lot of people like that too, right? | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| There's a lot of no shame people. | ||
| But there's a lot of people that just, it seems like their version of reality is different than what you and I see. | ||
| It's like they think they're doing well when they're not. | ||
| Like they'll go on stage and they think they're getting laughs, but they're not. | ||
| Like they'll get a little sympathy laugh here and there and they think it was good. | ||
| I don't get it. | ||
| I don't know how that is. | ||
| It's like somebody being tone deaf. | ||
| It's crazy people. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| You know the concept of an NPC, a non-player character? | ||
| There's a lot of people out there that literally are that. | ||
| They're real. | ||
| It's a horrible thing to say that they're inconsequential humans, but there are people that, for whatever reason, they never connect with people. | ||
| All the friendships they have are very surface level. | ||
| They never have real love. | ||
| They never really care about people. | ||
| They're always just weird fucks. | ||
| Well, they're psychopaths. | ||
| I was just listening to something the other day about how we, you know, there's a list that came out maybe five, six years ago, and it was like the top ten professions that psychopaths go to. | ||
| One of them was like CEO, surgeon, and people always forget about the other seven. | ||
| It's like there are psychopaths all around you. | ||
| There's a bus driver that he doesn't feel. | ||
| Is that a sociopath or psychopath? | ||
| That's what I meant. | ||
| They're real similar, though. | ||
| The distinction between sociopath and psychopath... | ||
| What is the distinction? | ||
| Because someone was explaining it to me once that there's not much difference between a sociopath and a psychopath. | ||
| Maybe a psychopath... | ||
| I think that they've slowly started to conflate the two. | ||
| What is that book that has all the mental health shit in it? | ||
| The MS? You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| No. | ||
| But there's a book that defines everything. | ||
| Maybe it's called the DSR? Okay. | ||
| Okay, how sociopaths are different from psychopaths. | ||
| Both are form of antisocial personality disorder. | ||
| Sociopath is a term people use often arbitrarily to describe someone as apparently without conscious. | ||
| In most cases, a description blithely tossed about to label a person as being either hateful or hate-worthy. | ||
| The same applies to term psychopath, to which many people suggest a sociopath who is simply more dangerous, like a mass murderer. | ||
| While the characteristics of sociopathy and psychopathy may overlap, sociopathy is an unofficial term for an antisocial personality disorder. | ||
| Psychopathy is not an official diagnosis and it's not considered APD, antisocial personality disorder. | ||
| The term sociopath and psychopath are often used interchangeably. | ||
| Each has its own clear lines of distinction that can be broadly described. | ||
| And what is the clear lines of distinction? | ||
| Yeah, that didn't help. | ||
| The difference. | ||
| Okay, sociopaths. | ||
| Makes it clear they do not care how others feel. | ||
| Psychopaths pretend to care. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Psychopaths display cold-hearted behavior. | ||
| Sociopaths behave in hot-headed and impulsive ways. | ||
| Sociopaths prone to fits of anger and rage. | ||
| Psychopaths fail to recognize other people's distress. | ||
| Psychopaths have relationships that are shallow and fake. | ||
| Sociopaths recognize their doing but rationalize their behavior. | ||
| Psychopaths maintain a normal life as a cover for criminal activity. | ||
| So psychopath sounds like a serial killer and sociopath sounds like a comic. | ||
| Am I the only one that was just thinking, I think I fucked a few psychopaths? | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Or sociopaths. | ||
| Cold-hearted behavior, yeah. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of people that are broken from whatever trauma they experience when they're young, and they carry that into adulthood, but they mask it with fake caring and fake empathy. | ||
| There's a lot of sociopaths that are woke, because they use that to attack people. | ||
| There's like a list of things they can attack you for, and they use it as an excuse to be a horrible person. | ||
| Oh yeah, that's the new trend. | ||
| It's like, well, everyone is looking for permission to be their worst self. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| So it's like, I wouldn't normally burn down your house with your kids inside. | ||
| But, you know, you voted for... | ||
| You voted for Trump. | ||
| Yeah, so fuck you. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| I face it a lot where it's like, I remember back during all the social uproar and I posted that people are... | ||
| Yes. | ||
| About them and the cause is their cover for being a piece of shit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know? | |
| And then the activism is something that gets them brownie points, gets them social brownie points. | ||
| But there's people out there that's really about their life, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Yeah, that'll fucking throw hands or shoot something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Then I believe you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's people that are really good people that dedicate their life to charity. | ||
| And then there's people that are dedicating their life to charity so that other people know that they're a good person. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's the same kind of people that used to be like, do it for the children. | ||
| But it's really their way of controlling what you can watch and what you can listen to. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's a natural inclination to human beings, to force people to do things and to make people behave a certain way or speak a certain way or do certain things that they want you to do. | ||
| You're seeing that a lot in today's culture with this vaccinated versus unvaccinated argument. | ||
| That there's a lot of people that, you know, want unvaccinated people to be refused medical care and be ostracized from society. | ||
| And even though, as time's going on, we're realizing that even vaccinated people are catching COVID and spreading it, particularly with this new version of it. | ||
| Which I keep hearing is a good thing. | ||
| I keep hearing this Omicron. | ||
| I've talked to a doctor and he was explaining that this is essentially like a live vaccine. | ||
| He goes, this is, it's not good to catch. | ||
| He goes, but he goes, it's way better than any strain of COVID we've ever seen before. | ||
| There's no deaths so far registered in America, except one guy that's in Texas that had a bunch of health conditions and they're not even saying now that it was COVID that killed them. | ||
| They're now saying he had it when he died, which is, this guy was fucked up. | ||
| They're not personally, but when they say that publicly, that's a clear indication that there's something really wrong with this guy. | ||
| They're not saying what it was, but I'm assuming it was the only guy that's died in this whole fucking month and a half period that this shit's been spreading through this country. | ||
| Well, you know, I think that all of that is just a symptom. | ||
| The problem is people don't trust the government. | ||
| They don't trust the media because they always fucking lying. | ||
| Yeah, you shouldn't trust the government or the media. | ||
| Because I remember, I don't know if it was, you know, when I was... | ||
| When I was a kid, but it would be like, oh, if the president came on TV and said some shit, you believed the shit. | ||
| Right, 100%. | ||
| But it's like, once we started finding out, oh, these motherfuckers lie about everything. | ||
| Once Clinton started lying about blowjobs, everybody was like, what? | ||
| Well, yeah, that did. | ||
| Nixon was the chip. | ||
| Well, actually, Kennedy was the first crack. | ||
| Because people start, you know, when they covered up all the paperwork, and this is what's so funny, they still keep pushing that shit down the line. | ||
| Every president, no matter which side you want, every Republican president, every Democratic president, since, every time those papers are supposed to come out, they fucking cover the shit up. | ||
| It's wild, isn't it? | ||
| Like, what is in those papers? | ||
| Yeah, because there was a time where I thought that the James Webb telescope, I thought the Kennedy shit would come out before the depth telescope was ready. | ||
| Because I'm a nerd with that kind of shit. | ||
| And it was like, I've been waiting on this telescope for a minute. | ||
| And every time I was like, well, I'll find out who killed Kennedy before that. | ||
| I don't think that's true. | ||
| That scope's going to be launched before we know who killed Kennedy. | ||
| Before those papers are released. | ||
| And the only reason they could still be secret is because... | ||
| I think it would probably cause mass hysteria if people found out that the CIA was involved or something like that. | ||
| They had to be. | ||
| That's the only reason why they would keep it under wraps. | ||
| That's the only reason. | ||
| There's no other reason. | ||
| There's no logical reason why they wouldn't release those papers. | ||
| Yeah, it's insane. | ||
| Because even if people involved are still alive... | ||
| Can I smoke a cigarette in here? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| The people that... | ||
| I'm quitting when the special come out, Mom. | ||
| Do you want a cigar? | ||
| No. | ||
| Last time I did that shit, it fucked me up. | ||
| Cigars fucked you up? | ||
| How so? | ||
| It just made my shit all dry. | ||
| I mean, this ain't healthy, but I'm an addict. | ||
| It's definitely not healthy. | ||
| I'm just making excuses. | ||
| I'm an addict. | ||
| How often do you smoke them? | ||
| Cigarettes? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Goddamn. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Probably... | |
| You know, it changes when I'm doing comedy or when I'm performing. | ||
| You smoke more? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| I smoke more when I'm at the comedy store and shit. | ||
| Because everybody else is doing it? | ||
| It's social? | ||
| No, no one else does it. | ||
| No one? | ||
| Very few. | ||
| Kind of bullshit-ass. | ||
| Like, most people, like, now it's just the era of the healthy comic. | ||
| Ah, those motherfuckers. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| They're judging you. | ||
| Judgers. | ||
| Goddamn judgy fucks. | ||
| Ma Special comes out today, I'm done. | ||
| That's it? | ||
| You're done? | ||
| I told her when it comes out, I'm done. | ||
| And what are you going to do to replace it? | ||
| Are you going to do gum? | ||
| Are you going to do the shit you put in your mouth? | ||
| I was hanging out with Schaub at Schultz's wedding, and he takes those little dip pouches, shoves them in his mouth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nah, fuck that. | |
| He grabbed three of those motherfuckers and stuck them inside his cheek like a squirrel. | ||
| And I go, what are you doing? | ||
| He goes, I'm an addict. | ||
| He goes, I'm a straight addict. | ||
| I can't do it, man. | ||
| The dip shit. | ||
| So one time when I was deployed, We had our little, this was my second deployment, so by this time we had more comforts and shit, and we had our little six, our little 12 by six can or whatever. | ||
| But my can, and there's six Marines sleeping in one of these things. | ||
| But my can had, we had negotiated with the locals and we had a TV, we had an Xbox, and we had a little makeshift couch that we had built and made comfortable. | ||
| So everybody would come in our room and watch The Sopranos. | ||
| Or played, or coming out can and all that shit. | ||
| And this one motherfucker, I can't remember his name. | ||
| Anyway, this son of a bitch had this weird habit of leaving his dip bottles every fucking way. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| Yeah, and one day, you know, one day I'm sitting there, I'm drinking my shit, and I put it down by my feet, and I reach back down, and I grab it, not looking, mouth full of dip spit. | ||
| Yeah, it took three people to pull me off that motherfucker. | ||
| It wasn't fair to be mad at him for real for not paying attention, but you know you have those events where you relive them. | ||
| Every time I think about it, I can taste it. | ||
| And I could never dip. | ||
| I could never dip. | ||
| And I'm still mad about it. | ||
| I've dipped. | ||
| It definitely gives you a nice little head rush, but not as good as cigarettes. | ||
| Cigarettes give you the best head rush. | ||
| It's like a woo! | ||
| I love a cigarette before I go on stage. | ||
| I don't know how I'm going to replace that. | ||
| Like right before? | ||
| You're going to try to use a jewel or something like that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That doesn't work good enough. | ||
| No, I think you just have to stop. | ||
| You just have to stop. | ||
| I started, I had this book called The Easy Way to Stop Smoking. | ||
| And everybody that I've got to read the book, they've stopped. | ||
| But I've never finished it. | ||
| What does it tell you to do? | ||
| So the premise of it is basically, instead of telling you the reasons you shouldn't smoke, they attack the reasons why you say you smoke. | ||
| All the reasons people give, and they show you that they're just excuses, that you're just as much of an addict as a crackhead or... | ||
| That doesn't help you. | ||
| I think what helps people is things like Ibogaine, mushroom trips, things like that. | ||
| Oh yeah, I know a lot of people that, my buddy, actually he just left. | ||
| He moved down here actually. | ||
| Mitch, I can't remember Mitch's last name, goddammit. | ||
| Anyway, he quit after a mushroom trip. | ||
| He was like, he did shrooms and was like, nah, I was just done. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you start thinking about what you could be doing to your body. | ||
| You know, what could be happening inside of your body. | ||
| Yeah, so maybe I just need a picture of a tumor. | ||
| Yeah, or a health scare. | ||
| A little bit of health scare. | ||
| Well, I've had enough of those. | ||
| That doesn't stop people, really. | ||
| No? | ||
| Cigarettes? | ||
| No, it's people that's dying in the hospital now that's still sneaking out to smoke cigarettes. | ||
| Yeah, but that's just because they know they're dying. | ||
| I'd rather just take the cigarette now, other than die and not enjoy a cigarette, because you're already dying. | ||
| So you're saying the type of health scare where they're like, look, if you stop now, you'll be okay. | ||
| But if you don't stop now, yeah, maybe one of those. | ||
| Something's got to show you your lungs, or you see the blackness, like the tar and all the fucking decay. | ||
| Have you seen a smoker's lung when they pull it out and they put it next to a healthy person's lung on an autopsy table? | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| See if you can find a video. | ||
| Or a photo. | ||
| They do autopsies of these people who die of lung cancer. | ||
| Lifetime cigarette smokers. | ||
| And their fucking... | ||
| Their lungs... | ||
| They look like they're just covered. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Look at that fucking lung. | ||
| Like lung jerky. | ||
| Look at that one. | ||
| The black lungs of a chain smoker. | ||
| The one in the upper left. | ||
| Click on that. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That is insane, man. | ||
| That's so insane. | ||
| That looks like someone... | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| Look at that next to a regular lung. | ||
| That is so wild. | ||
| One lung is like orangey, reddish, pink, and the other one is literally black and white. | ||
| Like white tissue and black tissue. | ||
| Fucking wild, man. | ||
| That is wild. | ||
| Terrible. | ||
| Goddammit. | ||
| Look at that one up there. | ||
| That one, the second down, right below that. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Look at, they're all shriveled. | ||
| This is like showing me stool samples while I'm eating. | ||
| Yeah, but that's, if I'm still hungry, I'll still eat. | ||
| Really? | ||
| You can just put power through it? | ||
| I was on Fear Factor. | ||
| It's not real? | ||
| This is a computer. | ||
| Oh, it's computer-generated? | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| That's still pretty accurate. | ||
| Probably accurate. | ||
| But the one next to it is real. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| Yeah, what's wrong with that one down there? | ||
| The one that looks like it has cheese on it. | ||
| Which one's that? | ||
| The one in the middle bottom? | ||
| Oh, it's pussy. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Pulmonary pathology. | ||
| Good God! | ||
| It's fucked up because the thing that scares people the most is not being able to breathe. | ||
| You know? | ||
| That's what's interesting. | ||
| It's like that feeling that you can't breathe is terrifying to people. | ||
| That's why drowning is so terrifying to people. | ||
| But they say that the last days of a person's life when they're dying of lung cancer is like drowning. | ||
| It's like you can't breathe and you're gasping for air. | ||
| And it's like your lungs are filling up with fluid and you can't get any oxygen in there. | ||
| Because all the sores are like popping. | ||
| As you tap and take another hit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You went through that cigarette quick too. | |
| How many do you smoke a day? | ||
| It varies. | ||
| But a pack at the most. | ||
| A pack? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a lot. | ||
| What is a pack? | ||
| 16? | ||
| How many is in there? | ||
| 20. 20? | ||
| It's actually perfectly formulated for you to smoke all day. | ||
| Oh, so if you start early and keep going? | ||
| Well, it's like the rate that the nicotine gets out of your system. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's supposed to be like every 40 minutes or something like that. | ||
| And so you have just enough cigarettes to smoke all day long. | ||
| You know what's interesting? | ||
| Nicotine is actually a medicine. | ||
| Nicotine itself, I think it's got heart applications. | ||
| Nicotine for heart. | ||
| They use it to treat shit? | ||
| Nicotine by itself is not bad, which sounds so crazy. | ||
| And it's also a nootropic, meaning it stimulates cognitive function. | ||
| Like nicotine does stimulate. | ||
| It's one thing Stephen King said in his book on writing is that quitting cigarettes was very hard for him because it's like his writing suffered a little bit. | ||
| It's harder for him to write. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| Because there's something about the cigarette that like it fires up the synapses, it fires up the brain, and then the writing would come smoother. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| I don't know because I've smoked all the time I've been doing comedy and writing. | ||
| So, man, that would be like torture. | ||
| If the ideas came to me less... | ||
| Yeah, I think that's what he was saying. | ||
| But I think you could probably get around that with other stuff that's good for you, like Alpha Brain, and there's a bunch of different nootropics. | ||
| You can take that gum that you were chewing on earlier. | ||
| You got some Alpha Brain in here? | ||
| Yeah, it's right here. | ||
| This is the new shit. | ||
| This is the Alpha Brain black label. | ||
| It's the strongest version of Alpha Brain we've ever made. | ||
| That shit's the bomb diggity. | ||
| Can you get me some of this shit? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| I'll give you a bottle. | ||
| You can take that. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| I'll give you a fresh one. | ||
| That one's half empty. | ||
| Hey, I'm gonna be the guinea pig. | ||
| I'm gonna come back. | ||
| Because this is my last day. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, this stuff is very good. | ||
| That stuff I take before any UFC. Anytime, like if I'm doing a podcast with a scientist, I take those. | ||
| Like sometimes you'll see in the beginning of a podcast, I'm like, oh Jesus. | ||
| I'll throw six pills down throat and I think they're probably like what what the fuck is he doing? | ||
| You do a podcast with like with like a liar, you know, but when you had that goop the guy Yeah, I don't think he's a liar. | ||
| He's just he's not a liar. | ||
| He's he's the face of He's a face of medicine in his eyes. | ||
| He's a neurosurgeon, is what he is. | ||
| He's a good guy. | ||
| I like Sanjay a lot. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| He's in a system, and the system doesn't tolerate any dissent, or it doesn't tolerate anybody crossing lines and looking at things objectively, or even taking a chance and looking at something that may or may not be- But why? | ||
| Because you have to get hired, and you have to keep working, and you have to be accepted by your peers, and all these other people are all squares. | ||
| All those people he's working with are squares. | ||
| But meanwhile, what the fuck is happening at CNN? They keep catching pedophiles. | ||
| Two different pedophiles have been busted at CNN. One guy was Chris Cuomo's producer. | ||
| And another guy was, I think he worked with Jake Tapper, who I respect very much. | ||
| I like Jake Tapper a lot. | ||
| I think he's probably the best journalist. | ||
| How do they catch him? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| There's all these stories online about it. | ||
| Like, this creeps out there. | ||
| There are creeps out there. | ||
| They're real. | ||
| And they get regular jobs sometimes. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And it's... | ||
| And oftentimes they have jobs where they're like... | ||
| I'm exposing the criminal underbelly of those kind of jobs. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's like, who's the biggest hoes? | ||
| The girls are always calling everybody else a hoe. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's people like that out there. | ||
| Who you least expect. | ||
| Yeah, there's like, there's cops that are also criminals. | ||
| That's a real normal thing. | ||
| Like cops that become drug dealers and criminals and they commit crime and they've got like a way to understand like how people get caught because they catch people. | ||
| Yeah, wasn't one of those serial killers? | ||
| Would he end up being a cop? | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| One of the famous ones? | ||
| Guaranteed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I don't know about famous ones, but guaranteed. | ||
| Or priests, like touching little kids. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Well, that's the darkest shit because the priests, they're in this weird cult where you're not allowed to have any sex. | ||
| That is the strangest fucking thing ever. | ||
| And you know the reason why they came up with that? | ||
| Because the priests were fucking everybody. | ||
| The priests back in the day were like rock stars. | ||
| They were rock stars. | ||
| They were banging everybody. | ||
| Because they were literally the mouth of God. | ||
| Well, it's like that in all of the... | ||
| Like all the Judeo-Christian faiths where you don't have that restriction, the pastors are rock stars. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| All the churches I came up in, the pastors were fucking everybody. | ||
| Everybody, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, Pastor Jenkins. | |
| Everybody's flirting with the pastor. | ||
| That's why. | ||
| Yeah, those pastors are banging everybody. | ||
| That's always been the case. | ||
| Remember Jim Baker and Tammy Faye Baker? | ||
| He was banging Jessica Hahn. | ||
| Oh, I didn't know that. | ||
| That was a big scandal. | ||
| Those names sound familiar, but I don't remember the scandal. | ||
| Well, the reason why I remember it is because I'm older than you, and it was a big deal on TV because Jim Baker was one of those. | ||
| He's still on TV now. | ||
| Now he sells disaster food. | ||
| And it's kind of hilarious. | ||
| He sells disaster food, and he sells it in these, like, red bins, like these buckets of, like, freeze-dried disaster gruel. | ||
| And, like, he's like, if you don't have anywhere to put it, you can use it as a table. | ||
| And, like, so they have these things stacked up, and they have, like, a tablecloth over it, and they use it as, like, stools and stuff. | ||
| And that's, like, where you store your disaster food. | ||
| So people... | ||
| Geez, people will fall. | ||
| People will fall for anything nowadays, man. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| When people don't trust the government and they don't trust the news, it's so easy to get... | ||
| Dude, I've read some shit the other day about this company called Black Oxygen Organics. | ||
| Have you heard of these? | ||
| No. | ||
| Boo. | ||
| Hashtag boo. | ||
| These motherfuckers get this Joe they're selling dirt They're selling people dirt and they're telling me that was a miracle cure you can drink it you can bathe in it What you can put it in your hair? | ||
| Yeah dirt. | ||
| It's dirt, but is there something in the dirt? | ||
| Nope nothing? | ||
| Nothing special about the dirt. | ||
| It's just it's just dirt And you're supposed to drink this dirt? | ||
| You can drink it. | ||
| You can put it in your bath water. | ||
| People are washing their babies in this shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck? | |
| Yeah, it's a multi-level marketing thing. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Magic dirt. | ||
| How do I not know this? | ||
| There's too many things to know. | ||
| How the internet fueled and defeated the pandemic's worst MLM. What's an MLM? Multi-level market. | ||
| It's a pyramid scheme. | ||
| Oh, pyramid scheme. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Black oxygen organics became a sudden in the fringe world of alternative medicines and supplements where even dirt can go for 110 bucks a bag. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What the fuck, man? | ||
| How did I not know this? | ||
| When is this? | ||
| It's What does that say? | ||
| March of 20? | ||
| What did you scroll up a little bit? | ||
| December. | ||
| Oh, recent. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Social media posts started in May. | ||
| Photos and videos of smiling people, mostly women, drinking mason jars of black liquid. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Slathering black paste on their faces and feet, dipping babies and dogs in tubs of black water. | ||
| They tagged the post, hashtag boo, and linked to a website that sold a product called Black Oxygen Organics. | ||
| Difficult to classify his market as fulvic acid. | ||
| Fulvic acid I've heard about. | ||
| I think that's like a real supplement, right? | ||
| Oh, that was dug up from an Ontario peat bog. | ||
| The website of the Canadian company sold it and billed it as the end product and the smallest particle of the decomposition of ancient organic matter. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Wow, there's a bunch of scammers out, like we were talking about earlier. | ||
| Sociopaths. | ||
| A gift from the ground, they call it. | ||
| It's like you can... | ||
| The reason stuff like that thrives is because people don't trust the official... | ||
| Yeah, there's a little bit of that. | ||
| And there's also a little bit of they know that they're getting fucked over by pharmaceutical companies. | ||
| You know, we played this ad the other day of this, what was it? | ||
| It was a sleeping thing. | ||
| It helps you go to sleep. | ||
| But they listed off all the things that could possibly be side effects, including suicidal thoughts, not being able to move your legs, all these different things. | ||
| Like, Jesus Christ! | ||
| Like, how about you stay up? | ||
| Suicidal thoughts? | ||
| Yeah, oh my god. | ||
| It's a big problem. | ||
| Yeah, it's a big problem with a lot of anything that fucks with the mind. | ||
| Like all these different things that fuck with your mind. | ||
| All these different, even SSRIs, some of them have suicidal thoughts attached to them. | ||
| It was that skin shit did that too, right? | ||
| Oh yeah, yes, yes. | ||
| Accutane. | ||
| Accutane, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, fucking talk to Santino about that. | ||
| Yeah, I did. | ||
| I talked to him about it the other day. | ||
| Oh my god, he said it was great because it stopped his zits, but he goes, he almost fucking killed himself. | ||
| Like it was rough. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I have several friends that had suicidal tendencies because of some sort of a pharmaceutical drug. | ||
| And sometimes it's the shit that's supposed to treat depression. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because some of the stuff that I was on before... | ||
| Because a lot of times what happens is... | ||
| When you're depressed, you don't have the motivation to do anything. | ||
| So even if you want to die, you don't want to do it. | ||
| But when you start taking antidepressants, there's a point where you're still depressed enough to want to kill yourself, and then you have just enough motivation to fucking do it. | ||
| So the most dangerous time is when you first start taking them. | ||
| Oh my gosh, you got energy. | ||
| Yeah, you get just enough energy, just enough motivation to where you're like, I think I can pull this off. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Have some of that. | ||
| Is this weed? | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Of course it is. | ||
| I was looking into the lung thing. | ||
| I don't even know if I believe it, but it's in the article, so we'll go with what it says. | ||
| What? | ||
| Lungs from pack-a-day smokers safe for transplants? | ||
| Study funded by... | ||
| I know, that's where I started to get into it. | ||
| R.J. Reynolds. | ||
| It said 13% of double lung transplant people were, in quotes, heavy smokers, which means at least a pack a day for 20 years, maybe two packs a day for 10 years. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Typically, he's been smoking least a pack of cigarettes a day from one to 20 years or two packs a day for 10 years. | ||
| Two packs a day is wild! | ||
| In the end, after all variables were accounted for, people who got lungs from heavy smokers lived as long and as well as those who got lungs from tobacco-free. | ||
| Yeah, but you know what they're saying, though? | ||
| The thing is, people that get transplanted organs, they don't live that long. | ||
| Look, I have a good friend, and he got a transplanted heart. | ||
| He's a wonderful person, and he's on... | ||
| All sorts of crazy medication because of this. | ||
| Are you talking about Superman? | ||
| C.T. Fletcher. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah! | |
| Love him to death. | ||
| Yeah, he's... | ||
| He's amazing. | ||
| He was my David Goggins before I knew who David Goggins was. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| Well, he's super, super motivational. | ||
| He's your motherfucking set. | ||
| And he's become a different person post-heart attack and post-transplant. | ||
| He still doesn't take any bullshit or excuses, but he's much more loving and open, and he realizes this new gift of life and this new take on life. | ||
| And also he thinks he's got a woman's heart. | ||
| He knows it's a woman, but he thinks it's an Asian woman. | ||
| I don't think they tell you that, but he's got feelings. | ||
| The heart has neurons in it. | ||
| They don't know where memories are exactly stored. | ||
| What are the cells that recover everything? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think it's neurons. | ||
| The shit they take from stem cells. | ||
| It could be some residual stem cells shooting through your body. | ||
| I don't know if your body contains memories in other things. | ||
| It does. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's called... | ||
| No, they know it does. | ||
| It's called... | ||
| Goddamn. | ||
| I didn't take my on it. | ||
| But it's called... | ||
| Because they've figured out that there's something left in your DNA from the trauma of your grandparents and your parents. | ||
| I believe that. | ||
| What the fuck is the name of it? | ||
| I believe that for sure. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, well, somebody will put it in the comments. | ||
| People are screaming right now. | ||
| You fucking idiots. | ||
| If I was on that show. | ||
| But there's something to that. | ||
| But if you get somebody else's heart, is there DNA in the heart still? | ||
| Obviously, it has to be. | ||
| Well, there has to be something, right? | ||
| Because the heart is still beating. | ||
| They get it in your body. | ||
| They make it beat. | ||
| So it's the same tissue. | ||
| There are genetic memories, though. | ||
| I would imagine that, you know, I think there was a study that showed, and I think this was like a recent discovery over the last few decades, that there's as many neurons in the heart as there are in the brain. | ||
| See if that's true. | ||
| Or maybe the second highest source of neurons in the body. | ||
| And the idea was that whole idea of trust your heart. | ||
| Trust your heart being that it was actually not just a saying, but there's probably something to that. | ||
| There's probably instinctive, maybe even some kind of thinking that's done with that part of your body. | ||
| Which doesn't make any sense, because we think of thinking, we think of the mind, we think of the neurons. | ||
| What's up? | ||
| I googled the thing about the heart, but I was thinking something different than what you said, and I got the same answer for both things. | ||
| Very strange that there's two different things called the second brain or little brain, and I don't know which we want to go with. | ||
| It says the heart has approximately 40,000 neurons. | ||
| That are like neurons in the brain, meaning the heart has its own nervous system. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| So this is 91 that discovered this. | ||
| Check this one, though. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
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|
Stomach. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Well, that's the other thing. | ||
| Your gut instinct. | ||
| Sometimes referred to as the second brain as the nervous system of the gut. | ||
| It contains some 500 million neurons. | ||
| Is that the same amount? | ||
| Would it say for the heart? | ||
| 40,000. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| That's a lot more. | ||
| How many in the brain, though? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| Billions. | ||
| Billions. | ||
| So there's way more in the brain. | ||
| And then the second is not the heart. | ||
| It seems like the second is the gut, according to this. | ||
| Because I've heard of things... | ||
| What's the thing that... | ||
| I think it's serotonin. | ||
| I know it's like the happy thing and dopamine or whatever, but there's something... | ||
| Because there's a pill you can take that makes you not throw up, and it... | ||
| What it's doing is it's stopping that chemical from going from your stomach to your brain. | ||
| It just sort of kills that. | ||
| I forget what it is. | ||
| There's a thing that vegans always say, and I think there's probably some validity to it. | ||
| Ouch. | ||
| This is the thing that a lot of vegans say, is that the diet promotes kindness. | ||
| I don't think it's just that it's kindness and that you're not killing an animal. | ||
| I think there's probably also kindness in that you're eating only plants so your brain doesn't think it needs to think in a more vicious way. | ||
| I think there's probably something to eating meat. | ||
| Like, Hicks and Gracie used to say that a lot. | ||
| Who are they? | ||
| That Hicks and Gracie is the greatest jiu-jitsu fighter of all time. | ||
| He's like the legendary patriarch of the Gracie clan. | ||
| He was the head dog. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| He was the guy, like, back in the day... | ||
| But he's not the most famous. | ||
| Hoist is his brother, and Hoist was the guy who won the first Ultimate Fighting Championship and a bunch of other ones. | ||
| Hoist will tell you, he tells everybody, that Hickson's 100 times better than him. | ||
| Hickson was widely regarded as the man. | ||
| There's not a lot of agreement in Jiu-Jitsu, because you're dealing with... | ||
| Thousands of black belts, right? | ||
| Thousands of killers. | ||
| And there's guys at the elite, elite level, and they're kind of interchangeable. | ||
| You know, if you say, like, who would win? | ||
| If it was Salo Ribeiro, or this guy, or if it was Rafael Lovato, or that guy. | ||
| Like, there's this level of jiu-jitsu where everybody's an assassin. | ||
|
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Right, right. | |
| But Hickson was the assassin of the assassins. | ||
| Okay, I like that. | ||
| Hickson used to do these seminars. | ||
| So Hickson would teach these seminars, and they would line up black belts. | ||
| Line them up. | ||
| Like ten world-class black belts and Hickson would tap them one after the other with no brink. | ||
| Tap them one after the other. | ||
| And he wasn't doing anything like it was physically overpowering them. | ||
| He wasn't like bigger than them. | ||
| He wasn't unbelievably fast. | ||
| He was all those things. | ||
| I mean, he was like an elite athlete like they all were. | ||
| But it wasn't that. | ||
| It was his mind and his understanding of jujitsu was superior to everyone else's. | ||
| He had like innate talent, but he also had crazy dedication and discipline. | ||
| And he had an understanding of jujitsu that was off the charts. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| You know who I've been following recently? | ||
|
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|
Who? | |
| Have you heard of this kid, Mikey Masamuchi? | ||
| Masamuchi, yeah. | ||
| Oh my god, he's an assassin. | ||
| This fucking kid, man. | ||
| He's an assassin. | ||
| And he's likable, like Nunez almost. | ||
| He's a sweetheart, yeah. | ||
| But I watch everything he does. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think Musumechi is how you say it. | ||
| Musumechi. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen him live a couple of times. | ||
| They do this thing in Austin. | ||
| They were doing it once a month. | ||
| It's called Who's Number One. | ||
| It's these professional jiu-jitsu matches that they'd have in Austin that they'd stream on Flow Combat or Flow Grappling. | ||
| That's what I was watching on Flow Grappling, yeah. | ||
| Dude, it's wild to see them live. | ||
| I'm going to come back down next time. | ||
| I will let you know. | ||
| We'll schedule a podcast around it afterwards. | ||
| We can go to it and then you can see it. | ||
| That would be a good way if you get it in shape. | ||
| You're a strong person. | ||
| You would probably do great at jiu-jitsu. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You're a fucking house, man. | ||
| Yeah, maybe. | ||
| I mean, I gotta do something. | ||
| You're obviously not just overweight. | ||
| You're very strong. | ||
| There's a lot of muscle there. | ||
| So if you just trim away at the fat and do it slowly where you don't hurt yourself, don't try to get crazy in the beginning. | ||
| You gotta check your ego. | ||
| You're right. | ||
|
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Just learn. | |
| It's exhausting. | ||
| And the beautiful thing about that is you walk out of there, you don't want any trouble about anything. | ||
| Everything is no big deal. | ||
| Someone's just trying to kill you. | ||
| People are just trying to kill you. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Well, there is something to... | ||
| There's something to being in shape and knowing that you can fuck most people up. | ||
| It definitely helps. | ||
| It calms you in a way that you don't start shit because the stakes are high. | ||
| It's like walking around with a grenade in your pocket. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's like, you know, listen, either this is nothing or I'm going to kill somebody. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's why you don't see very many UFC fighters. | ||
| You don't hear about them I'm not making excuses for anybody's behavior, but I am saying that the best of the best are wild I think you have to be like Mike Tyson. | ||
| I think you have to be to be that goddamn good. | ||
| There's a level of good. | ||
| Hickson was never like an out of control guy in that regard. | ||
| You know, there's a lot of jujitsu guys that are not out of control guys, but they're the best of the best. | ||
| But there's some fighters that, like, the thing that propels them is this, like, wildness. | ||
| That they have this ability to, like, in the moment take great risks and also be very creative in the moment and do wild things. | ||
| And sometimes that is the difference between the very best and the elite. | ||
| Like, Jon Jones has had some fucking close fights, man. | ||
| This Alexander Gustafson fight, that shit went to the wire. | ||
| Well, the first one. | ||
| Yes, the second one he destroyed. | ||
| The first one he literally wasn't training. | ||
| Literally was not training. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| Was not training. | ||
| Imagine being that confident. | ||
| You're like, I'm not even going to train for this one. | ||
| There's a lot of psychology behind it, and he was actually telling me, I mean, he was admitting it, that there was fights where he would go out and party hard, like get really fucked up the week before the fight, and he said, I think I did it because I had a built-in excuse. | ||
| So that if I beat them, I can beat these motherfuckers even if I'm partying, but if he loses, he goes, yeah, but I was partying. | ||
| So he kind of proved that with the Gustafson fight. | ||
| He won the fight, and he won the fight in the fifth round, too, by the way. | ||
| The fifth round, he poured it on Gustafson when he wasn't even in shape, and he wasn't even training. | ||
| That's how good Jon Jones is. | ||
| Yeah, I love watching him fight. | ||
| Bro, that division, you gotta realize, that division is super ultra-competitive, right? | ||
| Unless Jon Jones is in the mix. | ||
| Then it's not competitive. | ||
| Jon Jones dominates everybody. | ||
| That's why I was so... | ||
| When Nunez lost, I almost couldn't believe what I was seeing. | ||
| I was like, yeah, because I'm sitting there watching with other people, and I bet money on the Poirier fight. | ||
| Who'd you bet on? | ||
| Porek. | ||
| You bet on Porek? | ||
| Yeah, because I was like, there's no way he just came off that... | ||
| The fights with Conor? | ||
| Conor. | ||
| I was like, there's no way he's going to lose. | ||
| But, you know, I'm not as big a fan as... | ||
| So my homie is the one. | ||
| He's the Joe Rogan in our group where he knows so much that if there's anything I don't understand, he just explains it, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was trying to tell me, no, man, Oliveira's a fucking monster. | ||
| And I'm like... | ||
| Olivera's a monster. | ||
| People think of Olivera as not being a monster because there's times that people have beaten him. | ||
| Like Paul Felder smashed him and there's a lot of guys that beat him. | ||
| Cub Swanson KO'd him. | ||
| Guys have beaten him. | ||
| But he got better. | ||
| And you gotta accept that and not think of when he lost. | ||
| Who gets better at 35? | ||
| I don't believe he's 35. No? | ||
| No, I think he's younger than that. | ||
| And I think he's 33. And I also think that he got into the UFC when he was 20. And so part of the problem was, like, he was learning and developing and growing in an elite organization. | ||
| How old is he? | ||
| 32. Oh, okay, wow. | ||
| So, see, he's been around a long-ass time. | ||
| But he came into his own over the last few years, which kind of makes sense. | ||
| Like, he figured it out. | ||
| Somewhere around 27, 28. But he comes, look, these guys are elite, right? | ||
| They come close to beating them. | ||
| But he finds a way to beat them. | ||
| And the way he does it is so final. | ||
| The way he beat Poirier, man, that choke was so fucking good. | ||
| It was so good. | ||
| And that's the same way the world found out about him was Efrain Escudero, who won the Ultimate Fighter, who was a very good fighter himself. | ||
| He fought Oliveira, and Oliveira took his back same way, standing up, and choked him out. | ||
| And that's when we first saw him. | ||
| And the first time I recognized him, I'm like, man, this kid is talented. | ||
| But then it was like his jiu-jitsu was really good, but maybe his striking wasn't as good as his jiu-jitsu. | ||
| And then slowly his jiu-jitsu and striking merged, where he's like equal. | ||
| In both of them, he's lethal in. | ||
| He's lethal in his striking and lethal in his jiu-jitsu. | ||
| But the difference is, his level of jiu-jitsu is a leap higher than most of the people he's competing against. | ||
| I didn't realize that. | ||
| He has the most submissions in the history of the UFC. Make sure that's true. | ||
| I'm pretty sure that's true. | ||
| That also blew my... | ||
| Because they were saying that during the broadcast. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That blows my mind. | ||
| But it's also like everybody... | ||
| I'm always like... | ||
| I'm always in my mind going, I want to see this guy fight Khabib. | ||
| Oh yes, that would have been the fight. | ||
| And maybe it could be. | ||
| I'd do anything to see that fight. | ||
| Look, maybe it could be still. | ||
| Khabib might decide at one point in time, you know. | ||
| Okay, Charles Oliveira holds the record for the most submission wins with a mind-boggling 14 wins. | ||
| Click on that because I think it's 15 now. | ||
| Because I think that might be an article that was written before the Poirier fight. | ||
| I think. | ||
| I think. | ||
| Eh, doesn't matter. | ||
| Either way, Oliveira holds the record. | ||
| And it's the way he does it, man. | ||
| Jiu-jitsu's a wild thing. | ||
| There's guys that are smaller than me, and I'll grapple with them, and I'm in deep danger from the moment you start sparring. | ||
| Because they're just so much better than me. | ||
| They're just better. | ||
| And that's the difference between Oliveira and these guys. | ||
| It's like they're all really good standing up. | ||
| He's really good standing up. | ||
| So there's kind of like an even playing field. | ||
| But when that motherfucker gets a hold of you, you're in deep danger. | ||
| Terrifying danger where you can't make any mistakes. | ||
| Oh yeah, 15, see? | ||
| Damn, this brain is like a steel trap. | ||
| Occasionally. | ||
| Yeah, and he's like, yeah, it's like, it's him and Khabib are scary that way. | ||
| Because after that fight, I went back and watched all his highlights and all. | ||
| No, you hear that. | ||
| And it's like, yeah, there's a precision, there's a predator-like precision where he pounces on the, like, as soon as you give him an opening. | ||
| It's a wrap. | ||
| Well, see, the thing is, Khabib can do that, too. | ||
| But Khabib chooses to smash you. | ||
| He smashes people. | ||
| Khabib smashes people. | ||
| But if you look at the Justin Gaethje fight, Khabib submitted Gaethje. | ||
| He almost submitted him in the end of the first round, and they submitted him in the second round. | ||
| And one of the reasons why he did that, and this is supposedly, I don't know if this is true, But what they said is that, and I know this was true, that they do like each other. | ||
| And that Justin actually helped Khabib cut weight, sat in with them. | ||
| Because one of the things about cutting weight is if there's someone there talking to you, it helps you through it. | ||
| Especially someone, they're also managed by the same guy. | ||
| So they have the same manager and they got together. | ||
| So when they had that fight, Khabib liked him. | ||
| So he says, I'm just going to submit this dude. | ||
| So he got a hold of him, did his normal shit, gets his wrestling going, but then almost, this is the beginning of the first round, he chose to beat him in a way that he wouldn't have chosen to beat Conor. | ||
| When he was on top of Conor, he was smashing his face, and he was going, let's talk now! | ||
| Let's talk now! | ||
| Bam! | ||
| Bam! | ||
| Let's talk! | ||
| Bam! | ||
| Just beating the fuck out of him. | ||
| See, in this, he chooses to go straight to an arm bar. | ||
| It's very unusual for him. | ||
| But this is Khabib's respect for Gaethje as a person, as a fighter, and also he can do this. | ||
| He can do this. | ||
| This is the end of the first round. | ||
| So he almost catches him at the end of the first round with an arm bar, very close. | ||
| But the end of the second round, he gets a hold of him, dumps him, takes his back. | ||
| I mean, it's just the precision, and then he decided to go for a mounted triangle. | ||
| And so when you watch him do this, he does this with such amazing control. | ||
| He's doing it very quickly. | ||
| Look how quickly he sets this up. | ||
| He's just deciding he's going to do it, period, from the jump. | ||
| Then he locks in the triangle, and that's a wrap, son. | ||
| That is a death triangle. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| Justin has to tap. | ||
| There's no question at all. | ||
| He's going out. | ||
| And the referee lets him go, and Justin's out cold. | ||
|
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|
Damn. | |
| He didn't struggle at all. | ||
| Yeah, he tapped and then he went out. | ||
| But the way he did it, he went through him. | ||
| He went right through him. | ||
| I think Khabib could do that to almost anybody, except maybe Oliveira. | ||
| I think Khabib, the guys that Khabib beat, that he smashed, I think a lot of those guys he could have submitted to. | ||
| I think Sabib is that elite, especially at the later stages of his career, when he was just the GOAT. He's arguably one of the absolute best submission artists, even though he smashes so many people. | ||
| He's arguably one of the very best submission artists as well as being one of the greatest fighters of all time. | ||
| You watch the way he goes through gates, you like that? | ||
| That is elite, high-level, precision submission. | ||
| Oliveira does that too. | ||
| Olivera does it, man. | ||
| That's what makes you think, like, wow, that would make the fight with Khabib so interesting. | ||
| And I know Khabib has a lot of respect for him, too, because Khabib said to Gaethje, there was an article that I was reading where he was saying, hey, you've got to be aware of this guy. | ||
| This guy is fucking for real. | ||
| This guy is really dangerous. | ||
| People look at some of the losses that Olivera had. | ||
| You can't look at those. | ||
| You got to look at the wins. | ||
| You got to look at who he is now. | ||
| Don't look at who he is five years ago or six years ago. | ||
| Look who he is right now. | ||
| Was that the last time he lost? | ||
| I think, no, I don't think it's that long ago. | ||
| He had a fight with Felder, and he caught Felder, I believe, in a guillotine. | ||
| And then Felder got out of it and smashed him and stopped him. | ||
| Felder's the fucking man. | ||
| You know, people forget how goddamn good Paul Felder is. | ||
| You know, Paul Felder may have retired and may have never won the title, but push the top back? | ||
| Push the top back? | ||
| The other way. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Now do it. | ||
| But Felder is an elite fighter. | ||
| He's an absolutely elite fighter. | ||
| There's a thing when you get to the top level of a division where it's on any given Saturday night. | ||
| Any given Saturday night, one guy could be going through camp with a back problem. | ||
| He's trying to nurse a fucked up knee, and he's trying to do his best, and he keeps the fight anyway. | ||
| So this is Felder. | ||
| So Oliveira's got his leg here. | ||
| He came really close to a leg lock, but Felder can grapple. | ||
| And he's also very strong and very big for the weight class. | ||
| So Felder eventually wound up on top, and Felder beat the fuck out of him on top. | ||
| Look at these nasty, smashing elbows from the guard. | ||
| I think this is the last time that Oliveira lost, and if I want to... | ||
| I want to guess this is 2018. I'm taking a guess. | ||
| The video that I have here was posted at 21. Yeah, it's not from then. | ||
| I want to say that fight was 2018. But again, Felder's a fucking monster. | ||
| But I think he was the last guy to beat Oliveira. | ||
| I'm not sure about that, though. | ||
| But who he is right now, though... | ||
| Right now, that guy is the fucking man. | ||
| That's who he is. | ||
| I'm super excited to see him against Gaethje. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Him against Gaethje, that's a real fucking test. | ||
| Not that Dustin wasn't a real test, too. | ||
| But Gaethje is another kind of real test. | ||
| I'm waiting to see. | ||
| I want to see. | ||
| Yeah, Felder's his last loss. | ||
| So that was 2017. Okay. | ||
| I want to see the Nunez rematch. | ||
| Yeah, that's going to be interesting, man. | ||
| If there was anything that felt like a short bet, It was betting on her, man. | ||
| I was completely in disbelief. | ||
| One of the biggest upsets ever, if not the biggest upset. | ||
| I said it was the greatest upset in the history of combat sports. | ||
| In the moment, I thought that. | ||
| And in time, I thought about it. | ||
| I said, well... | ||
| All combat sports, you got to go to Buster Douglas versus Mike Tyson. | ||
| I think that's the biggest upset in the history of combat sports. | ||
| Or maybe all of sports. | ||
| Yeah, but when it comes to MMA, Holly Holm against Ronda Rousey was very close, too. | ||
| That was close, too. | ||
| A lot of people thought Ronda was unstoppable. | ||
| Yeah, I think in the moment, people felt that way. | ||
| But afterwards, we're looking back on it. | ||
| But they didn't think that Holly was incompetent. | ||
| And they didn't think that Juliana was either. | ||
| But Holly was an eight-time world boxing champion. | ||
| She was a kickboxing champion. | ||
| Everybody knew she was a nasty threat on the feet. | ||
| Juliana did not have the same sort of credentials in terms of the things that she's won. | ||
| So everybody knew she was really tough. | ||
| Everybody knew she wanted that fight. | ||
| She was calling for that fight. | ||
| When nobody wants to fight Amanda Nunes, she beats the fuck out of people. | ||
| She knocked out Cyborg in one round. | ||
| She didn't look the same. | ||
| Dude, there's a lot in fights. | ||
| A lot happens in fights. | ||
| She looked thinner. | ||
| She didn't always have that definition. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Well, you've got to realize the last two fights she's been fighting at 45 because she's the champ at 45 and 35. So this is a fight at 35. And you know what, man? | ||
| She might be experiencing some sort of a mental breakdown. | ||
| Like she said she checked out mentally. | ||
| She said she just checked out, which is crazy. | ||
| But... | ||
| Sometimes that happens to champions because there's so many people coming to get you all day long. | ||
| Everyone's coming to get you. | ||
| Imagine being a guy who's a champ, like an Israel Adesanya, and all day people are just coming to get you. | ||
| All day. | ||
| People are talking shit and they want your title. | ||
| All day. | ||
| That's your day. | ||
| Forever. | ||
| And year after year after year, sometimes I think people just get exhausted by that shit and then they fall apart. | ||
| That's a possibility. | ||
| She also could have not trained very hard because she didn't think that Juliana had it in her and she thought she was going to beat Juliana in the first round. | ||
| Or you don't have anything in front of you. | ||
| Everyone's behind you. | ||
| Everyone's below you. | ||
| You're not... | ||
| Maybe you're just putting in work and you don't feel like you're working towards anything. | ||
| Yeah, you could get overconfident. | ||
| There's a lot of that and there's also Juliana. | ||
| She's a fucking animal. | ||
| That lady's an animal. | ||
| She's so tough. | ||
| Like she took it to her on the feet, man. | ||
| She hung out in a phone booth with the greatest knockout artist in the history of the Both bantamweight and featherweight division. | ||
| The way she knocked out Chris Cyborg at featherweight, you gotta say, look, this is the greatest female combat sports athlete of all time. | ||
| And Juliana was in the pocket with her, slugging her, and fucking her up with a jab, too. | ||
| That was a big part of that fight. | ||
| Juliana kept cracking her with that jab. | ||
| Just the first time I saw Lungas stumble back, I was like, what the fuck? | ||
| I know. | ||
| It was wild. | ||
| And she got tired. | ||
| She got really tired in the second round. | ||
| But you know what? | ||
| Sometimes a champion like Amanda Nunes needs to have something like that to just get you back on track. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Well, her next fight's going to... | ||
| Everyone's tuning in. | ||
| Another example is George St. Pierre. | ||
| When George St. Pierre fought Matt Serra, most people thought George St. Pierre was going to burn through Matt Serra. | ||
| But Matt Serra cracked him in the first round and KO'd him. | ||
| And George actually tapped to strikes. | ||
| Which back then it was kind of a ridiculous thing that you should never tap to strikes. | ||
| But George is an intelligent guy and he knows that he's in real trouble. | ||
| He's about to go out. | ||
| He had a tap. | ||
| Or just go unconscious. | ||
| But either point, that was a giant upset. | ||
| And then George became the George we all know after that fight. | ||
| Because after that fight, he became much more focused and much more disciplined and much more ferocious inside the octagon. | ||
| It's like he recognized that it could all go away. | ||
| He's in your GOAT list, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| He has to be. | ||
| It's like there's a bunch of them, right? | ||
| Like you gotta go with Hoist Gracie because he started this shit. | ||
| Nobody knew what the fuck fighting was until Hoist came around. | ||
| We all had these goofy ideas of what fighting was. | ||
| When you watch that dude wrap his gi around you and drag you to the ground and strangle you with his collar, everybody was like, what? | ||
| When there were no weight classes. | ||
| No weight classes. | ||
| He was fighting gigantic dudes with no rules. | ||
| Fucking no rules. | ||
| They were pulling hair. | ||
| They were punching nuts. | ||
| You had to watch that shit on the DVD that you bought from the guy that sold you the jackass. | ||
| You get the movies from Korea, the fighting movies. | ||
| You have to put Hoist in your Mount Rushmore. | ||
| If you have a goat list, you have to put Hoist in there somewhere. | ||
| He's up there. | ||
| He's up there. | ||
| He's the most important figure in the history of martial arts. | ||
| And then in terms of entertainment value, though, I gotta put the spider in there. | ||
| Oh yeah, Anderson in his prime? | ||
| Because obviously before I would watch UFC if it was around. | ||
| Like if somebody had one of the DVDs. | ||
| And then when they first started getting on pay-per-view, and I remember being at my boy's house in Boston. | ||
| And I think this was the year the Red Sox broke the curse. | ||
| So what was that, 2018? | ||
| 2012? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| No, it had to be way before that. | ||
| But anyway, and I remember watching him just play with that school teacher. | ||
| What was his name? | ||
| Rich Franklin. | ||
| Rich Franklin. | ||
| Just play with him. | ||
| Because he was insulted that they picked him to fight him. | ||
| I don't think that's true. | ||
| No? | ||
| No. | ||
| He had a very friendly relationship with Rich Franklin. | ||
| He actually liked Rich Franklin. | ||
| And at the end of the fight, after Rich Franklin got smashed the second time, Rich Franklin actually said very nice things about him. | ||
| Like, he's a good man. | ||
| Don't boo this man. | ||
| This man is an amazing person. | ||
| He is. | ||
| I mean, Rich is an amazing person, right? | ||
| Yeah, Rich is an amazing person. | ||
| But I think Anderson and him were friends. | ||
| Especially towards the second fight. | ||
| It's just Anderson was so much better than him. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| He would win in ways where it looked like... | ||
| He would do stuff you would see in a movie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, he did an upward elbow. | ||
| You want to hear this crazy story? | ||
| There's a crazy thing that he saw in an Ong Bak movie where it's a step forward to the side, upward elbow. | ||
| And he kept telling people that he was going to knock this dude out with an upward elbow. | ||
| And it's crazy. | ||
| His trainer was like, hey, man, you gotta stop fucking around. | ||
| Like, don't try to do stupid shit like that. | ||
| Don't train bullshit. | ||
| Stick to the game plan. | ||
| You're fighting a tough guy. | ||
| And so he had his wife hold a pillow at home. | ||
| So he wouldn't even practice it in front of his coach. | ||
| So he would go home and have his wife hold a pillow. | ||
| And Anderson would step in, blap, step in, and blap. | ||
| Stepping in with this crazy elbow. | ||
| And then he decided he was going to use it in the fight. | ||
| Check this out. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I mean, that's how good Anderson Silva was. | ||
| What is his trainer saying after that? | ||
| His trainer probably went, fuck! | ||
| You know, you only see a guy like that once in a lifetime if you're a coach. | ||
| And usually it's on the other side. | ||
| Usually you're facing him. | ||
| You know, Anderson in his prime. | ||
| And he came into his prime in that organization, too. | ||
| That was an organization in England. | ||
| Was that called Cage Warriors? | ||
| Cage Rage. | ||
| Cage Warriors is the new one. | ||
| There's another organization like that that's like a top-level organization in England. | ||
| But in Cage Rage, he fought a lot of guys. | ||
| And he fought Lee Murray, and that was a gigantic fight. | ||
| Because Lee Murray was that crazy English hoodlum. | ||
| The hoodlum who robbed the bank. | ||
| You don't know the story? | ||
| He was a part of the biggest bank robbery in the history of Great Britain. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| It's like some fucking locked stock in two smoking barrels type shit. | ||
| And they made a movie about it? | ||
| Well, they're making a movie about it. | ||
| Guy Ritchie is making a movie about Lee Murray. | ||
| That's how wild this fucking dude is. | ||
| He's still in jail right now. | ||
| I think they stole like $80 million, something crazy like that. | ||
| But these guys had like full-on tactical gear, fucking machine guns, like the whole thing. | ||
| UFC fighter Lee Murray, who robbed a bank for $90 million. | ||
| Wait a minute, so this was... | ||
| Wait a minute, so he robbed a bank and was fighting in the UFC? He was fighting in the UFC while he was a full-on criminal. | ||
| I love that shit. | ||
| I mean, a full-on criminal. | ||
| That's real outlaw. | ||
| Like, how can you be... | ||
| See, that's the kind of shit you were talking about with Jon Jones. | ||
| Wildness. | ||
| Where it's like, this isn't enough. | ||
| This is not enough adrenaline being in the UFC. Well, go to the fight that he had with Anderson because everybody was scared of Lee Murray. | ||
| Everybody was scared of Lee Murray. | ||
| Anderson pieced him up. | ||
| Anderson pieced him up, man. | ||
| Anderson toyed with him. | ||
| He played with his food. | ||
| And this is in the UFC? No, this is in Cage Rage as well. | ||
| But it was a tough fight because Lee Murray came for blood. | ||
| And this was in Anderson when he was in his 20s. | ||
| We gotta realize, like, the Anderson that we got in the UFC, we didn't get him until he was like 33 or 34, I believe, was his first fight. | ||
| Was he already past his prime when he got to the UFC? No, no, he was riding the very peak of his prime. | ||
| But I think he came into his prime... | ||
| In cage wars. | ||
| In cage rage, rather. | ||
| Because in cage rage, he fought real tough guys, and there was a big organization in England, but most of the people in America did not know these fights were going on. | ||
| And he's fighting guys like Jorge Rivera, he's fighting Lee Murray, he's fighting Tony Fricklin, and I forget who else he fought in there, but dude, I'm telling you, Anderson could do it all. | ||
| He could grapple, he was dangerous off of his back. | ||
| He was comfortable everywhere. | ||
| And Lee Murray was an animal. | ||
| Go a little further in the fight. | ||
| We see when Anderson starts destroying his legs. | ||
| So somewhere towards the end of the fight, like the last round, Anderson's like just chewing on his legs. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| And he just did that over and over and over again, and Lee was in real trouble. | ||
| Like, you get into a position like Lee's in right now, where that left leg just doesn't work anymore. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure you've gotten kicked in the leg. | ||
| That shit is no joke. | ||
| Oh, it's horrible. | ||
| And to have a guy like Anderson kick you in the leg? | ||
| Shit. | ||
| And he's doing it right now, and he just used his Muay Thai. | ||
| He was a Muay Thai wizard, a technical wizard, and just... | ||
| Again, these guys that are at the top of the heap, they're so creative, and they're so explosive, and they're so wild. | ||
| Like, they could take these chances in the heat of a gunfight, and they find these openings. | ||
| And Anderson used to find them in these spectacular highlight reel ways, like that front kick that he hit Vitor in the face with. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| Like, Jesus! | ||
| Always, his highlight reel might be like the most entertaining of anyone, right? | ||
| The knees to Rich Franklin where he just broke his whole face. | ||
| And the closest thing we saw to that was when Jon Jones started doing that kind of shit. | ||
| Yes, in a different way. | ||
| Jon was more, it was a lot of smashing people on the feet, but it was more the wrestling and the destruction once you get a hold of you, whether submissions or ground and pound. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Very violent like oh, yeah, you could just feel the intentions were like I'm gonna I'll crush your skull. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, the type of people that Yes, a scary motherfucker. | ||
| There's a lot of scary motherfuckers in the UFC, but they're nice people Most of them are really nice. | ||
| Those are the kind of people that you have to apologize to. | ||
| Yeah, you have to. | ||
| But most of them, this is what it is. | ||
| It's an insane sport. | ||
| How do you deal with that when people have a problem with your commentary and all that? | ||
| I try to be very fair, always with my commentary, and I'm also very respectful. | ||
| Like, even if you think that my commentary was biased or one way or another, you'll never think I'm disrespectful. | ||
| Because I try to, unless someone's doing something dirty. | ||
| Like, there was a girl in this last fight that was Jillian Robertson. | ||
| She was trying to gouge Jillian Robertson's eye out. | ||
| Like, she had her in a rear naked choke, and this girl, Koshweta, stuck her fucking thumb deep into her eyeball. | ||
| She didn't get caught. | ||
| We were calling it. | ||
| She did it twice. | ||
| She's reaching for it. | ||
| Like, while she's getting choked, she's trying to find the eye, and then she shoves a thumb in the eye. | ||
| We played that, right? | ||
| It's horrible. | ||
| You want to see it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Of course you do. | ||
| It's horrible. | ||
| That I'm going to be disrespectful, too. | ||
| I would just get up and just kick her right in the pussy. | ||
| That would be disrespectful, too. | ||
| Stop cheating. | ||
| It's not just cheating. | ||
| You could ruin a person's career. | ||
| Like, if you scratch their eyeball with your thumbnail, you 100% could ruin their eyesight. | ||
| You 100% could end their career. | ||
| You could. | ||
| Like, they could lose their eyesight. | ||
| It happens. | ||
| It's not 100% common, but it's common enough, and there's enough eye injuries where you know that that's unnecessary, and it's also an egregious cheating move that's so obvious. | ||
| You're letting the whole world see that you're cheating. | ||
| It's not like you might have accidentally touched someone's eyes because they're coming towards you and you had your hand out, your hand went in there, but it was a total accident. | ||
| This is not that. | ||
| This is your digging your thumb. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Look at her. | ||
| She reaches up. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| She reaches up, finds the eyeball, and digs her thumb in the eyeball. | ||
| And that girl just winced her eyes and just choked her harder. | ||
| I remember I saw the accidental one, right? | ||
| It was like Vitor versus Randy Couture, was it? | ||
| Oh, that was a different thing. | ||
| That was the cut the eyelid. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah, Vitor hit Randy with a punch and just randomly it sliced across the eyelid. | ||
| So he couldn't close his eyes. | ||
| And then he lost the belt off that. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Then he came back and beat him in the rematch. | ||
| And both of them were upset about it. | ||
| You don't want to win that way and you don't want... | ||
| That's why a lot of people are upset with, what is it, Aljermaine Sterling, right? | ||
| It's because the way you won... | ||
| Right. | ||
| But you're celebrating as if you dominated and you won on a humble. | ||
| Because he was getting fucked up. | ||
| He wasn't getting fucked up, but he was losing the fight. | ||
| And he was in a situation where Piotr Jan asked if it was okay. | ||
| I think he was confused as to what the rules are. | ||
| If you have one knee down or two... | ||
| Like, when is it... | ||
| When is it a downed opponent? | ||
| Because they've changed the rules a little bit. | ||
| And in some places you can have one hand down and you're still up. | ||
| In other places it has to be two hands. | ||
| If you have two hands down then they can attack you. | ||
| But if you have one hand up, they can attack you. | ||
| So if two hands down, you're considered a down opponent, so someone can't knee you in the face. | ||
| But if you have, in some places, one hand down and one hand up, they can knee you in the face. | ||
| And I think he was asking whether or not he could, and someone said yes. | ||
| I think someone in his corner gave him bad advice, and he kneeded him in the face. | ||
| This is the story. | ||
| That's the narrative. | ||
| Whether it's true or not, I don't know. | ||
| But yeah. | ||
| And you're right. | ||
| He wasn't getting fucked up. | ||
| Don't come for me, Al Jermaine. | ||
| I love Al Jermaine. | ||
| But he was losing that fight, for sure. | ||
| I think he was losing. | ||
| And why hasn't the rematch happened yet? | ||
| Well, because Al Jermaine had to get neck surgery. | ||
| Aljamain had to get a disc replaced in his spine. | ||
| It's a serious fucking injury, and I tried to get him to avoid it, and I actually sent him to my doctor because I had had an issue with my discs as well in the past, and they can do some stuff with Regenikine and with stem cells and reduce inflammation and maybe whatever bulging disc issue you have might be able to go away, | ||
| but The problem is that these guys, they train so hard and so often that for them to take a long time off to let something heal, they're not that inclined to do that. | ||
| And apparently it was bad enough that they decided to go ahead and... | ||
| There's a couple guys in the UFC that have had that done, where they have fake discs. | ||
| I know one guy had them in his back and his neck. | ||
| Yeah, there's no way. | ||
| There's no way I keep fighting. | ||
| They love it, man. | ||
| It's the most exciting thing in the world to them, and that's what they're the best at. | ||
| Are there ever... | ||
| So, comparing it to what we were talking about with comedy, do you think... | ||
| Because there's people that are like, they're built like that up here. | ||
| They love to fight. | ||
| They do it for free. | ||
| Or they do it for cheap. | ||
| And then there's people that are... | ||
| Do you ever come across fighters where it's like, You're good at this, but you don't have it. | ||
| You're not this. | ||
| Well, those guys find out. | ||
| They find out as time goes on. | ||
| Generally, they quit. | ||
| But sometimes you think they're going to be like that, and then they figure it out. | ||
| Like Charles Oliveira. | ||
| Charles Oliveira used to be fights where it looked like he fell apart. | ||
| But that's not the case anymore. | ||
| He figured it out. | ||
| So you can never tell someone... | ||
| The only time you should tell someone it's over is when they've taken too many knockouts. | ||
| And they're losing their ability to take a punch. | ||
| And they're realizing... | ||
| And also, if they're kind of in it just for a paycheck... | ||
| Dana White actually just accused Nick Diaz of that. | ||
| He said he doesn't want... | ||
| He goes, Nick is a great fighter, but he doesn't want to fight. | ||
| Like, I don't want him to fight because he's fighting as a job. | ||
| He's not fighting because he wants to fight. | ||
| Give him a pension. | ||
| Isn't that funny? | ||
| Yeah, get a fight. | ||
| Because man, I'm going to tell you something about the fighters and stuff. | ||
| For me, it's heartbreaking when you find out that like, you know, because that's a hell of a choice to make with your life. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Because even if you're really, really good, you may never make it to the top. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And to watch some of these people that have like sacrificed their bodies and their wits and And they can't bend down and play with their kids. | ||
| And to just watch them struggling financially. | ||
| Or to watch them taking those kind of fights where it's like it was over a long time ago but they can't afford to stop. | ||
| Do you think that they should set up a pension for fighters just automatically once they become part of the UFC? Like you take a percentage and maybe the UFC meets that percentage and they set something aside for every fighter? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's gotta be. | ||
| They've got to. | ||
| Like, here's the thing. | ||
| People say, well, you should be able to plan your life out after fighting. | ||
| Oh, yes. | ||
| Agreed. | ||
| You're in charge of your own life. | ||
| However, you really can't do a lot while you're fighting. | ||
| Because it's so hard. | ||
| The amount of training that's involved in, like, say if you're a Henry Cejudo, who's not just an Olympic medalist, but a two-division champion in the UFC, just a fucking savage of a man. | ||
| The way that guy trains, there's not a lot of time to start a business. | ||
| There's not a lot of time to get together a bunch of investors for a startup. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| That's not happening. | ||
| And whenever people are against... | ||
| Because I'm not just talking about fighting, too. | ||
| I'm talking about football and basketball and all these other things. | ||
| Whenever people are against the athletes, they always talk about the millionaires, like the top. | ||
| But most of the people in the UFC are not millionaires. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they don't, you know, it's like maybe the top, top guys can go into announcing or commentating or even start a podcast or whatever. | ||
| But there's people, the vast majority of the roster, they don't have that option. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, you start making money when people are paying to see you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you don't even get points unless you headlining or it's a championship, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| So it's like, what percentage of the fighters are the top of the card? | ||
| I mean, it's not... | ||
| It's not realistic for you to expect everybody to have something else because you can't be the champ You can't be going after a goal like that and have another thing you can't know you kid what I'm saying is like if you had a Safety net so if there's some sort of a pension that gave you a safety net So at least when you got out you had a year or two to figure out what you could do and then you start reviewing your options But you know your bills are paid for a while So you don't have to, like, immediately panic and try to figure your life out. | ||
| And there's the other problem that fighters have is that being a fighter, it also becomes a part of their identity, and they don't want to let it go. | ||
| Like, that's a big part of their identity is that they're a fighter. | ||
| And so when they stop being a fighter, they kind of don't know who they are for a while. | ||
| Schaub talks about that, that he kind of was still connected to this identity for a while. | ||
| He's completely abandoned it now, and he's way happier. | ||
| But before, it was a part of the way he was looking at it. | ||
| He was looking at himself like this is his identity. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I deal with that with a lot of veterans, too, where it's like your identity is one thing and now it's completely gone. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And how do you identify? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's tough to do with any—make that lifestyle transition. | ||
| Well, in both things, you know, obviously for different reasons, both things are insanely... | ||
| There's a lot of action. | ||
| There's a lot happening, right? | ||
| If you're a soldier, that's an incredibly intense job. | ||
| If you're deployed in combat, I've never experienced it, but by all accounts, it is a wild, fucking crazy experience to be in a gunfight. | ||
| And then to go back to regular life for some folks is very hard. | ||
| And some folks actually would rather be in action than they would be at home. | ||
| Or at least in theater. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Right. | ||
| At least somewhere around it. | ||
| And it's also there's a camaraderie that they experience with fellow soldiers that's missing from so much of our society. | ||
| The intense bond that people have when they do things together like that. | ||
| You can't replace it. | ||
| And it doesn't even have to be as intense as a gunfight. | ||
| I was not in no gunfights. | ||
| But if you suffer with someone else, suffering is how men bond, anyway. | ||
| If we suffer together and we make it through some bullshit, we're friends. | ||
| It's forever. | ||
| At least it's very strong. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| To this day, I served, what, 15 years ago? | ||
| And to this day, every year on the Marine Corps birthday, we have a group phone call and take a shot and reminisce. | ||
| That's nice. | ||
| And those are the only people from my past. | ||
| Those are the only friends from my past that aren't... | ||
| You don't get that shit if you used to work at Xerox. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| Nobody's like, bro, we did the fucking time in Xerox together. | ||
| My brother is to the end. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Xerox! | |
| Because it's always like, hey, remember that time we almost died? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Yeah, that's a whole other thing. | ||
| Yeah, there's things that fight teams have similar sort of friendships and rivalries. | ||
| And then when guys are trained together, then go on to hate each other. | ||
| My God, they hate each other. | ||
| More than ex-wives, more than anybody. | ||
| Because there's a betrayal of that bond. | ||
| Now that person's a traitor. | ||
| Now they have to suffer. | ||
| That happens. | ||
| Guys, that's such a classic fucking trope in mankind. | ||
| You know, the people are close, then the person rejects the person that's close and lashes out at them, and then there's a fight and some sort of a struggle. | ||
| People's lack of ability to work things out is always pretty fucking astounding. | ||
| We had a guy in our group that he told everyone he was dying. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so we normally, you know, we lose contact, we lose touch. | ||
| We still get together, try to get together for the call, but this was the middle of the year and he told everyone he was dying. | ||
| And so everybody's connecting again. | ||
| We all come together on this group chat. | ||
| Reminiscing and telling him we love him and all this other shit. | ||
| And he was supposed to be doing the state-assisted suicide. | ||
| In Oregon, you can do that. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so we thought he was dying the next day. | ||
| You know, and we were supposed to get contacted by his family, you know, for arrangements and all that sort of shit. | ||
| And so, like, two, three weeks go by, and I keep going, like, hey man, did you talk to such and such? | ||
| Like, yeah, I just saw him on Facebook. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, what? | |
| So, you know, slowly everyone starts realizing he's still alive. | ||
| It's weird to be upset that a friend of yours is not dead, but in this situation, it was like, what the fuck was all that about? | ||
| Like, it was all bullshit. | ||
| Do you talk about this on stage? | ||
| No, not yet. | ||
| You got some new material, my friend. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| Fuck yeah! | ||
| With your style of comedy, this is 100% a great bit. | ||
| Yeah, I'm a... | ||
| Bro, write that down. | ||
| There's something very funny. | ||
| I never thought about to try it on stage. | ||
| You have to. | ||
| There's something very funny in someone pretending that they're gonna die, and then you wait, and they haven't died, and you're like, what the fuck, and you actually get upset? | ||
| Yeah, he's still alive. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| What did he say was wrong? | ||
| He said that it was something wrong. | ||
| He said he had whatever the last stage of cancer is. | ||
| Is it stage four? | ||
| I think so, yeah. | ||
| He had stage four cancer in his stomach or his pancreas or something, and it had already moved to his lymph nodes. | ||
| So it was inevitable. | ||
| So none as true? | ||
| Well, he's still alive. | ||
| I mean, he said it was terminal. | ||
| How long ago was this? | ||
| Which is why the state would let him try to kill himself. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| So this was maybe... | ||
| This was right before the lockdown. | ||
| This was like maybe January or February. | ||
| He might have cancer. | ||
| Sometimes they're wrong about that. | ||
| Like sometimes they think someone's only going to last a month and they last a few years. | ||
| Yeah, but here's the thing though, Joe. | ||
| You don't call all your friends and go, I'm dying tomorrow. | ||
| I'm choosing to go out on my own terms. | ||
| I'm dying tomorrow. | ||
| In fact, I'm drinking the first part of the drink right now. | ||
| I love y'all. | ||
| Oh, the first part of the suicide drink? | ||
| Right, so there's a two-piece, I think there's a two-piece drink. | ||
| And then you do assisted suicide? | ||
| No, no, no, that's what it is. | ||
| That's the suicide. | ||
| I'm sorry, I'm getting confused with, there's a pod that they do now. | ||
| Oh, in Oregon? | ||
| No, is it in Oregon? | ||
| I think it's in like another country. | ||
| Oh, you're talking about in Sweden or Switzerland. | ||
| You see that shit? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| The suicide pod? | ||
| Yeah, the thing they fucking got on Dr. Kevorkian about. | ||
| But they basically have like, does it... | ||
| Does it poison you? | ||
| The pod poison you? | ||
| Or is it like a place where you rot? | ||
| Like it's built into coffin? | ||
| Doesn't it just replace the gases until you pass out? | ||
| Is that what it does? | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| But I don't know. | ||
| The problem with that is that people kill people. | ||
| That's the problem with that. | ||
| It's like, you know, that's the problem. | ||
| Because if people wanted to just end their life, like if someone's in horrible agony and suffering, it's the last days of their life, they've lived a long life, and they've been dying of this very painful disease, who are we to stop them from doing that? | ||
| That's what I say. | ||
| But, okay, creator of Suicide Pop wants you to make body implant that would kill you if you forget to deactivate it. | ||
| Oh my god, this guy's crazy. | ||
| Holy shit, like you gotta solve a puzzle to live? | ||
| That's funny as shit. | ||
| Well, you know, Kevorkian was really wild, too. | ||
| He was a crazy person. | ||
| Like, he wasn't just a guy who was helping people. | ||
| He was also drawing really twisted images. | ||
| So I was a kid when all of that happened. | ||
| Did you ever see his artwork? | ||
| No. | ||
| When people saw his artwork, they were like, hold the fuck up. | ||
| Because it wasn't as simple as, he's a compassionate man, and he's helping these people. | ||
| And I agree with all that, that you should be able to do that. | ||
| You most certainly should be able to end your life if you're in agony. | ||
| And why do we do that to dogs, and we won't do that to a loved one? | ||
| The problem is that people kill people. | ||
| Like, look at his drawings. | ||
| Oh, that's kind of dope. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So this one is like a demon or a soul clawing. | ||
| I guess it's a person, because look, those fingers are that their fingers are shredded off down to the tips of the bone, and they're being dragged into this hellscape basement. | ||
| And it says, the doctor is in. | ||
| That's kind of fired up. | ||
| The Art of Dr. Kevorkian. | ||
| But a lot of his stuff was like that. | ||
| A lot of his stuff was almost like that. | ||
| Oh, like morbid? | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Like that. | ||
| So here's one where there's a Roman where the guy has his head cut off on a plate with an apple in his mouth and the Roman is like holding up the arm that has the sword. | ||
| So it's like he's got some twisted shit in there. | ||
| Is that... | ||
| Is that a jack-in-the-box fries? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| It's crosses in one bowl, and in the other bowl is bullets. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| That's what's there. | ||
| It's not just crosses. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| There's also stars in the... | ||
| Whatever that thing is. | ||
| Star of David? | ||
| No, it's a triangle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, right. | |
| It's a triangle. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| That's a Nazi cross, too. | ||
| That's just like a star. | ||
| Oh, it is a Star of David. | ||
| I see. | ||
| It's got the part behind it that I'm confused on. | ||
| And then look, the salt and pepper shakers are missiles. | ||
| But the idea that this is the guy that's helping people kill themselves, and his art is like a guy with his head cut off with an apple stuffed in his mouth. | ||
| How much did that say at the bottom? | ||
| Is it for sale? | ||
| No, yeah, the one we were just looking at. | ||
| Did it say $1,200? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That one. | |
| Yeah, how much is that? | ||
| 1100? | ||
| Oh, that's not the original. | ||
| Still, we should get one for the house. | ||
| We should definitely have one of those for the studio. | ||
| Let's find one that's not too evil. | ||
| But a lot of them were very evil looking. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| A Chinese Communist Party band on this one guy's wrist, and the other guy's wrist is a Nazi band, and they're holding up a person's head. | ||
| He had some wild, dark shit. | ||
| This is like cartoony. | ||
| It's like darker than Adult Swim. | ||
| You ever see those psychedelic things Adult Swim does? | ||
| Yeah, now look at him there. | ||
| Imagine this is the guy who says, your grandmother wanted to die. | ||
| She asked me to do it. | ||
| I didn't want to do it. | ||
| I'd rather your grandmother live forever. | ||
| But let's be honest, no one's going to live forever, Brian. | ||
| Is that how he sounded? | ||
| I don't know how he sounded. | ||
| But I mean, his art freaked me out. | ||
| His art changed the way I thought about his whole pursuit. | ||
| Like this pursuit that he has of helping people kill themselves. | ||
| Not that I think it's a bad thing. | ||
| I don't. | ||
| But I started thinking about him like, oh, well, what kind of guy does that? | ||
| I mean, especially in the 90s, of course, this definitely, because he got convicted, right? | ||
| Yeah, I think he went to jail for it. | ||
| Well, he ironically didn't kill himself. | ||
| That is kind of ironic. | ||
| Yeah, put your money where your mouth is. | ||
| I think he wanted to get out and he wanted to keep arguing that this was a... | ||
| I'm all about it. | ||
| I mean, people die... | ||
| I just read some shit the other day where more people die in hospitals than on airlines. | ||
| You're more likely to die if you go to the hospital healthy than you are to die in a plane crash. | ||
| Well, what does that mean healthy? | ||
| If you're healthy, why are you at the hospital? | ||
| No, I mean, if you're not going in there for something that's already killing you. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So, like, maybe infections? | ||
| Like, not an emergency room situation. | ||
| So, do you mean accidents? | ||
| Or do you mean, like, people make mistakes? | ||
| From, like, medical malpractice and shit like that. | ||
| Yeah, mistakes. | ||
| Definitely a lot of that. | ||
| You know, there's also a lot of doctors that are really overworked. | ||
| You know, like, when they're in their residency. | ||
| There's a lot of doctors that are psychopaths, too. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| There's a book called... | ||
| Oh God, what is it? | ||
| Dead Doctors... | ||
| Fuck, what is the name of the book? | ||
| If you have any friends that are like surgeons or anything... | ||
| Dead Doctors Don't Lie? | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| Joel Wallach? | ||
| The book is basically about... | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Goddamn. | ||
| So the book is about minerals, mostly. | ||
| It's about mineral supplementation and how important it is because we do it for livestock, but we don't do it with humans. | ||
| And so he rattles off a list of all these different conditions that are caused by mineral deficiencies. | ||
| And how many of us have minerally deficient diets? | ||
| Because the topsoil of American farmlands has been minerally deficient for a long fucking time. | ||
| In a lot of places, they have to supplement it. | ||
| So they pour different kinds of fertilizers and different things on the topsoil to help it grow food in it. | ||
| But you're not supposed to grow corn in the same spot year after year for fucking decades. | ||
| It's just not wise. | ||
| It's not how the world works. | ||
| The world doesn't work on monocross. | ||
| The world works on ecosystems where all the plants and all the animals, the animals shit and the plants drop their fruit and all of it works together. | ||
| It's supposed to all switch up. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But these monocrop agriculture places where they, what was my point? | ||
| What the fuck was my point? | ||
| Were we just- we're talking about- More likely to die in a hospital? | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Joel Wallach, that's right. | ||
| So Joel- I was like, God, I went circular with this. | ||
| Joel Wallach's book, one of the things that was about how many doctors die of overdoses. | ||
| They prescribe themselves cocaine and they're supposed to do a fucking- he was talking about guys who were supposed to do surgeries and they'd find them dead in a storage room because they shot up and overdosed. | ||
| Like, they can get a hold of drugs, and a lot of them, they use drugs to stay awake, and they use drugs to go to sleep, and they're, a lot of them are just, they're just people. | ||
| Just like, you know, if you get a hundred people in a room, one of them's gonna have a problem with pills, right? | ||
| There's a million doctors. | ||
| And it's so easy to go from I can totally handle this to my shits out of control. | ||
| So what he was basically saying is that most doctors, especially general practitioners, have very little knowledge when it comes to nutrition and what's the latest science. | ||
| Even the people that are at the top of the food chain, no pun intended, when it comes to nutrition, they have debates. | ||
| Over what's the proper diet or what's the healthiest way to do it? | ||
| Should you do this way or that way? | ||
| Should you fast or not fast? | ||
| There's a lot of debate when it comes to that stuff. | ||
| So these are amongst the people that are studying it. | ||
| This is honest experts trying to figure out what's correct. | ||
| The average doctor spends about eight hours on nutrition, apparently, is what I've read, in med school. | ||
| Yeah, they don't know shit. | ||
| Unless you're studying that as a specialty, that's not what you focus on. | ||
| So when they start talking about the body, they're talking about what's wrong and can they fix it if they're a surgeon or can they give you a drug if they're not a surgeon? | ||
| Or can I send you to someone who's going to fix it? | ||
| What's wrong with you? | ||
| Not how did it get there. | ||
| Not what's wrong with your body that this is happening. | ||
| Not, like, what's your nutrition like? | ||
| What's the vitamin and nutrient balance of your blood? | ||
| Let's look at your hormone profile. | ||
| Let's see if you're metabolically healthy. | ||
| They don't do that. | ||
| Let me ask you something. | ||
| That's this book. | ||
| This book is basically about that, talking about supplementation. | ||
| Do you think that if we were... | ||
| If we were a healthier society, that it would necessarily be better, like an overall effect on society? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| When people are healthier, they're nicer. | ||
| When people are healthier, they're more productive. | ||
| When people are healthier, they contribute. | ||
| When people are healthier, they feel better. | ||
| If you get a group of friends, and I hate to simplify this again, but if you get a group of 10 friends, and all those 10 friends eat well, and they exercise, and they meditate, and they try to keep their shit together, and they do their best to be a good person every day, you got a good group of people. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| You gotta think of the entire country as a giant group of people. | ||
| The more we can have people like that, that are living healthy, just trying to be nice, just trying to do their thing, the more we have a better country. | ||
| Just like if you have five friends that have their shit together and they're really cool and they're real friendly and they're real happy for you and they're supportive, and then you have one who's just a selfish, crazy person. | ||
| All my fat friends are sneaky fucks. | ||
| No, I'm just kidding. | ||
| They're all untrustworthy. | ||
| No, you're right. | ||
| But you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Yeah, when I feel healthier, I'm nicer. | ||
| It's better for you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, you're functioning better. | ||
| I mean, you can get by, but also... | ||
| There's certain brilliance to unhealthiness. | ||
| There's certain people that don't give a fuck about their health, and they're indulgent, and they smoke a lot, and they drink a lot, and they do coke, and they get wild, and they say funny fucking shit. | ||
| They're really good comics. | ||
| They're really good comics. | ||
| And they work hard at it. | ||
| They're high all the time. | ||
| They work hard at it. | ||
| Because there is a balance, right? | ||
| Because you can't be... | ||
| You gotta have your days where you just indulge, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think for an entertainer, you've got to understand wild fun. | ||
| You've got to understand real laughs. | ||
| You've got to understand freedom. | ||
| The freedom of being yourself around your friends and you're all just laughing and talking mad shit to each other. | ||
| That helps us. | ||
| It's the best. | ||
| It's the best. | ||
| But it helps us. | ||
| Like, when we have these green room sessions, we're all fucking around, talking shit about each other. | ||
| That helps everybody. | ||
| It makes you so happy. | ||
| It's so fun. | ||
| Because a comic is about to say the funniest shit when they go, I love the guy to death, but... | ||
| But... | ||
|
unidentified
|
But boom! | |
| Yeah, whenever somebody stops me, they go, bro, I love you to death, but they about to fucking burn you good. | ||
| I'm not saying that you can't do that if you're sober. | ||
| You certainly can. | ||
| But I'm saying that there's a lot of funny shit that's been said while people are drunk. | ||
| And to discount that seems silly to me. | ||
| I think it's all about a big picture approach. | ||
| And for me, like, I am, obviously, I work out a lot. | ||
| It's a big part of my life. | ||
| I work out every day, almost. | ||
| I do something. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And I try to keep myself healthy because I know I have this commitment to it. | ||
| But I like to get high. | ||
| I like to have a couple of whiskeys in me. | ||
| I like to go on stage just a little high. | ||
| Talk some shit. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| It's a part of what makes the art form fun. | ||
| And I think there's something that comes out of those states of mind that you get to. | ||
| You can get there on your own. | ||
| I've had some great shows with Completely Sober. | ||
| But I think there's something about comedy that lends itself to altered states of consciousness. | ||
| When I'm killing, because you know that feeling, because obviously I think people throw that shit around too much, but killing isn't something that happens every day, even the best. | ||
| You know what I'm talking about, just destroy. | ||
| That feeling, that only happens when you're having fun and when you're When you're in the zone, when you're in a state of conscience, when you're fearless and having fun, and sometimes you find a way to cheat your way there. | ||
| You get a little cocaine. | ||
| Yeah, a little something. | ||
| The problem was when people overdo it, they go too far, they get too drunk, they get too high, and they get the balance wrong. | ||
| It's tricky because there's no one to tell you, right? | ||
| Getting drunk and getting high is a lot like doing comedy and no one teaches you how to do it. | ||
| Especially the real talented dudes because a lot of times what happens is... | ||
| Because I have friends like this where it's like they're so talented that they'll get a third, fourth, fifth chance at a bite at the apple. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Where it's like, what did you do? | ||
| You came to the set drunk and cursed out the executive? | ||
| And they go to rehab or something and they go, but he's so fucking funny. | ||
| That's the Robert Downey Jr.'s of the world. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But he cashed in on his comeback. | ||
| I mean, Jesus. | ||
| Well, he's a different human now. | ||
| He's a fascinating human. | ||
| I really like him. | ||
| You ever had him on? | ||
| Yeah, I've had him on. | ||
| I've had conversations with him, like in real world conversations. | ||
| I like him a lot. | ||
| He's a very smart person, and he's a guy who turned his life around. | ||
| He realized he had a serious addiction problem, and, you know, that could happen to anybody. | ||
| Well, that's what's wrong with a lot of these stars is, to them, it's like a PR move. | ||
| They fuck up, and then they go away for like two months, and they come back. | ||
| I'm renewed. | ||
| But he just, he disappeared to the point where people stop talking about him. | ||
| Well, he went to jail. | ||
| And then he came back and then... | ||
| He was in jail. | ||
| Oh, I didn't know that. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Robert Downey Jr. was in jail. | ||
| So he got out of jail and then got the Iron Man role? | ||
| He got out of jail and just lit the fucking world on fire. | ||
| Yeah, because he smoked that Iron Man role. | ||
| He smokes everything. | ||
| He's an animal. | ||
| He's an animal. | ||
| He's so focused. | ||
| But you believe him as Tony Stark. | ||
| You believe he's smarter than everybody. | ||
| Because even the way he talks to Bruce Banner, he realizes Bruce Banner is just as smart as him. | ||
| It's like a level of understanding that they have with each other. | ||
| When he talks to Banner, he realizes this guy's a genius too. | ||
| The role he plays is so smooth. | ||
| You believe him. | ||
| It couldn't have been anybody. | ||
| No! | ||
| There can't be another Iron Man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| No fucking chance. | ||
| You could switch your Spider-Mans all day long. | ||
| You want to switch your Spider-Mans? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You can't switch the Iron Man. | ||
| Not anymore. | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-uh. | |
| He owns that now. | ||
| They're going through that debate right now with Chadwick Boseman. | ||
| Yeah, that's a hard one. | ||
| Because they're like, do you reek? | ||
| Because they were saying he would want... | ||
| Them to recast it. | ||
| I think he would because he fought so hard to have Black Panther made. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That was a series that they were trying to make that for over a decade. | ||
| It was a long, long time coming before they ever actually got that made. | ||
| And it was this massive success. | ||
| And then have it be a massive success with him and Michael B. Jordan in the lead roles and as the villain role. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
| It was good. | ||
| It's a fucking amazing superhero movie, and historically, it's a very important superhero movie, right? | ||
| Yeah, because there's always this attitude that a black-led movie won't do well overseas. | ||
| It's almost entirely black. | ||
| I mean, all the heroes, all the villains, so much of the cast, so much of the village, so much of what drives the story. | ||
| Yeah, there was maybe like three white guys in the movie that were integral. | ||
| They were cool though. | ||
| The point is, it doesn't matter. | ||
| Now it doesn't, yeah. | ||
| Well, it's like if you just have it good, people want to see good. | ||
| They just want to see good. | ||
| It doesn't matter if it's all white people or black people or all women, as long as it's good. | ||
| And the beautiful thing about that was it was all black people and it was good. | ||
| And it was a huge success. | ||
| And so having it, his feeling, I'm sure, would be he would probably want it to go on. | ||
| But who would want to take that spot? | ||
| I had to see the first one twice because I missed the first 11 minutes because I'm one of my bitch-ass roommates. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| That's the worst. | ||
| You walk into a movie and it's already going. | ||
| I don't like being late. | ||
| I'm almost always early, if not on time. | ||
| Especially these situations where, because there's people that don't give a fuck about being on time. | ||
| This is one of my pet peeves. | ||
| And I was ready to leave on time. | ||
| And then this motherfucker invited himself, and I was like, okay, yeah, yeah, sure. | ||
| And then he was late. | ||
| And then invited everybody else. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And I was going to walk, but he's going to drive. | ||
| So he's like, well, we don't have to leave right now if we're going to drive. | ||
| And then he made us fucking late. | ||
| And the whole way people are making you late, they start talking about the previews. | ||
| Oh, well, it was previews. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shut the fuck up. | |
| Maybe I want to see those, too. | ||
| I want to see the last preview and the movie start. | ||
| I want to see the beginning. | ||
| So anyway, I got robbed of that. | ||
| I love when people watch superhero movies and they try to say it's unrealistic. | ||
| Like, where is that city? | ||
| How is it hidden? | ||
| How come nobody knows about it? | ||
| How did they develop all this technology? | ||
| They just decided, like, shut the fuck up. | ||
| Does Iron Man make sense? | ||
| How about Batman? | ||
| Batman's a rich guy. | ||
| That's all he is. | ||
| He's dressed as a bat. | ||
| He's a rich guy. | ||
| I don't have a problem doing stuff by myself in public. | ||
| I'll go to the movies alone. | ||
| I'll go to the movies alone on the road. | ||
| Oh yeah, I'll do that all the time. | ||
| Yeah, if I'm on the road. | ||
| Nah, even if I'm here. | ||
| It's a select group I can watch a movie with. | ||
| But if you have a middle act that you like, don't you want to take them to the movies with you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Wow. | ||
| Well, I mean, I'm just now... | ||
| Okay, let me rephrase that. | ||
| I'm just now getting to the point where I can decide who the middle act is in my career. | ||
| Oh, okay, okay. | ||
| But for the longest time, you just like the local guys. | ||
| If you're with me on the road, it's because you're funny. | ||
| It don't mean I like being around you. | ||
| I understand. | ||
| It means that I don't hate being around you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, right, right. | |
| But we don't gotta do everything together. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know? | |
| No. | ||
| Who could replace Chadwick Boseman? | ||
| Who would even be in consideration? | ||
| It would have to be someone young. | ||
| It would have to be an unknown. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| It would have to be someone... | ||
| Because I think the reason his family's saying that's what he wanted, because he was all about that. | ||
| Like, giving young black actors a shot. | ||
| Like, new people you haven't heard of and bringing them in. | ||
| And so... | ||
| But I think Disney decided to go the other way. | ||
| What are they going to do? | ||
| They're going to kill him off and have someone else take up the mantle and become the new... | ||
| Like, have someone that's already in the movie. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| I hope I don't fuck it up. | ||
| I don't know, man, but the fan base... | ||
| When you're dealing with these comic books, it's like, because I've seen them flip-flop. | ||
| I've seen them, like, they do some shit. | ||
| Remember the Sonic movie a couple years ago? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they released one picture, and people thought the Sonic looked ridiculous. | ||
| And they changed the whole movie. | ||
| And they reanimated the whole fucking movie. | ||
| Well, it did look odd. | ||
| It did. | ||
| A little too deepy. | ||
| But it's like, not enough to reanimate the movie, though. | ||
| Think about how many Batmans there have been. | ||
| Nobody gives a fuck. | ||
| Isn't that wild? | ||
| There's been so many Batmans, from Adam West to the comic Beetlejuice. | ||
| Fuck's his name. | ||
| You know what I'm talking about. | ||
| Michael Keaton. | ||
| Michael Keaton, thank you. | ||
| Michael Keaton. | ||
| George Clooney was Batman for a little bit. | ||
| Val Kilmer. | ||
| Val Kilmer was a great Batman. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at all them Batmans! | |
| Christian Bale. | ||
| Christian Bale was the best. | ||
| He was the best Batman. | ||
| But they're all ridiculous. | ||
| Christian Bale was the best Batman and the worst Bruce Wayne. | ||
| They don't have a homeboy in this Ben Affleck. | ||
| He's the new Batman, but it's like that's the thing It's like he does he plays Batman and he gets hate Like if Ben Affleck just play some regular dude in a good movie nobody gets hate Robin Pattinson's a new one to the guy Oh Robin Pattinson he I bet he could pull it off. | ||
| Yeah, but also to him and when people die It's a whole other thing. | ||
| It's a whole other thing. | ||
| Like, you can't... | ||
| Because I remember, like, Jay-Z used to say this in a freestyle one time, but, like, he's always being compared to Biggie, you know? | ||
| And he's like, how am I supposed to win when you got me fighting ghosts? | ||
| Ooh, yeah. | ||
| That was a cold line. | ||
| But it's like that. | ||
| It's like, you can't... | ||
| You can't say you're better than the dead guy. | ||
| Never. | ||
| And it's the people that's going to never let you be better no matter what you do. | ||
| That happens in every sport. | ||
| It happens in everything. | ||
| That's one of the things that happened to Larry Holmes when Larry Holmes surpassed Muhammad Ali when he was the next heavyweight champion. | ||
| Everybody hated him because he beat up Ali and he never got his due. | ||
| He was one of the best heavyweights of all time. | ||
| Larry Holmes had one of the best jabs that has ever been seen in the heavyweight division. | ||
| He was phenomenal in his prime. | ||
| Didn't he fight Mike? | ||
| He did. | ||
| When he was old. | ||
| Yeah, he came out of retirement to fight Mike. | ||
| I believe he was 36, but it was like a real 36. Like 36 in 1985 or whatever it was. | ||
| Which was like 50. 1988. Yeah, it's a different time. | ||
| They were really 36 back then. | ||
| You know, like there's guys like Bernard Hopkins that fight deep into his 40s. | ||
| I think his last fight was like 50 years old when he fought Joseph Smith. | ||
| Yeah, this is one of my... | ||
| Yeah, this was tough, man, but in the second round, Mike Tyson, or Larry Holmes rather, gave Mike Tyson a lot of trouble with his jab. | ||
| The second round, okay, watch this, because in the second round, Larry Holmes came out and he was popping the jab. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| In the beginning of this round, he gave him a lot of trouble with that long jab. | ||
| Larry Holmes in his prime had a fucking phenomenal jab. | ||
| And when he beat guys up with that jab, like Jerry Cooney fights a great example, he was a sniper. | ||
| He was absolutely one of the best heavyweights of all time. | ||
| So what round is this, Jamie? | ||
| Actually, I don't know. | ||
| It's like a highlight. | ||
| Oh, it's a highlight. | ||
| So it's not all of them? | ||
| I clicked on two, and it seems to... | ||
| But Mike Tyson, at this time, could not be denied. | ||
| He was a destroyer. | ||
|
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He was so scary. | |
| He was a destroyer. | ||
| He was so much faster than everybody, and he was just trying to get close enough to unleash hell. | ||
| You ever notice how, like... | ||
| You don't see too much of this anymore, but, like... | ||
| I remember when I was little and Mike was the man, but there was always these old dudes that just hated him for being so good. | ||
| Somebody needs to teach this young punk a lesson. | ||
| Look at that head movement, man. | ||
| When do you ever recall a heavyweight having head movement like that? | ||
| Mike's head movement was superb. | ||
| It wasn't just his power. | ||
| Just back that up just a little bit, Jamie, just a little bit from where we were so I could see him move his head. | ||
| What could this fucking head movement mean? | ||
| No, it's before that. | ||
| Go before that. | ||
| Because there was a series, like right here. | ||
| Look at this, man. | ||
| This head movement was phenomenal. | ||
| Larry Holmes is flicking that jab. | ||
| Mike Tyson is meeting him with his own jab. | ||
| And he's so hard to hit. | ||
| That was part of the thing that people forgot about with Tyson. | ||
| Was how elusive he was in his prime when he had all that crazy wild head movement. | ||
| So it wasn't just that he got close to you and smashed you. | ||
| It was that as he's getting close, you can't keep him off you. | ||
| You can't hit him. | ||
| His head movement was fucking superb. | ||
| They call it the peekaboo? | ||
| Yeah, peekaboo style. | ||
| But it was a lot of bobbing and weaving because, you know, he was shorter than a lot of these guys. | ||
| So there's a lot. | ||
| Look at that head movement. | ||
| Phenomenal. | ||
| And just stays on you, and he could do that all night, and he kept his power deep into a fight. | ||
| Mike Tyson was a terrifying force of nature when he was the champ. | ||
| When he was at the top of the heap, he was different than any heavyweight that ever came before him. | ||
| He was fast as Joe Louis and Muhammad Ali, but hit like Sonny Liston. | ||
| I mean, he had everything. | ||
| Can you imagine being that young? | ||
|
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20! | |
| With that kind of confidence, nobody out here can really stop me from doing anything. | ||
| Anything. | ||
| No matter what. | ||
| He was 20 years old. | ||
| 20 years old and he was the heavyweight champion of the world. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| And when he was just standing there, it was like it was destiny. | ||
| He was standing there like it was destiny. | ||
| Like we all knew it was going to happen. | ||
| It happened. | ||
| And we're like, holy shit. | ||
| You hear him talk about it now sometimes and he sounds like he's talking about a different person. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| I mean, it makes sense, right? | ||
| I mean, it was a long time ago, and he took a long time off. | ||
| When you have memories from 10, 15 years ago, how good are they? | ||
| He probably has to watch his own videos to realize what he did. | ||
| His memory of it is probably as flashes of it, but... | ||
| Even my memory of yesterday is shitty. | ||
| I mean, it's pretty good. | ||
| I can tell you what happened, what I did, but what do I visually remember? | ||
| How much of the actual experience do I remember? | ||
| Very little. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's not accurate at all. | ||
| And I heard, and I don't know how true this is, but I heard that every time you access a memory... | ||
| The next time you remember it, you're remembering the last time you remembered it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Not the actual memory. | ||
| And you're probably remembering it how you tell it to people, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because a lot of times people leave shit out. | ||
| That's changed. | ||
| You ever do that with your parents? | ||
| Especially when it was something negative. | ||
| You're like, Mom, remember that time you hit me with that sack of nickels? | ||
| And she's like, that didn't happen. | ||
| Yeah, they do get a little testy. | ||
| You're like, I remember it happening. | ||
| Yeah, you remember it, but yeah, it's convenient. | ||
| Back then, people hit their kids. | ||
| It was normal. | ||
| It was real normal. | ||
| In fact, it wasn't just normal, but it was... | ||
| I talk about this in the special, actually. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| It wasn't just normal, but it was expected. | ||
| It was like a sign of good parenting. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That you had your kids in control. | ||
| You wanted to show the public... | ||
| You wanted to show the public that your kids are under your yoke. | ||
| You didn't have no out of control crazy ass kids. | ||
| That was the whole thing. | ||
| So if your momma smacked the shit out, if you smack the shit out of one of your kids now, everybody in the store is going to be like, was that necessary? | ||
| But back then it was like, yeah, get them. | ||
| They would cheer them on. | ||
| In some places they still smack their kids. | ||
| I was in Thailand and I was with my family and I went to the gym. | ||
| And when I went down to the gym to work out, I missed out on all this. | ||
| But apparently there was some Chinese lady with her son and the son did something that pissed her off. | ||
| So she beat the shit out of him in front of everybody. | ||
| She smacked him in the face and smacked him like three or four more times and she was screaming at him like in front of everybody. | ||
| And all the other tourists are sitting around going, what the fuck? | ||
| And this lady just beat the shit out of her kid in front of everybody. | ||
| It was effective. | ||
| I mean, in the short term. | ||
| Well, the problem with that is that... | ||
| First of all, it's horrible, but it also perpetuates more of it in the future. | ||
| Like, those people are gonna be more likely to hit people they care about, too. | ||
| They're gonna be more likely to hit their kids. | ||
| And it's gonna be, the real negative impact is that it's gonna be their number one problem-solving skill. | ||
| Your kid goes into something, you meet adults where the first thing they want to do is fight over an issue. | ||
| Because they haven't learned how to resolve conflict any other way. | ||
| And it's also like you can press the final button. | ||
| Like, let's just fight. | ||
| Fuck this. | ||
| And some dudes just want to go right to the final button. | ||
| But like I said, though, it was convenient. | ||
| It's just like how now people stick their kids in front of an iPad instead of spending time with them. | ||
| It was like if your kid was screaming in the store and knocking shit off the shelves and you wanted it to stop right then and there, you smack the shit out of them. | ||
| And it was instant. | ||
| It worked. | ||
| Now you sit there negotiating with your children. | ||
| And they're gonna drive a hard bargain, you know? | ||
| But I don't have kids, so I'm never gonna have to worry about that. | ||
| It's tricky. | ||
| The communication with them is very tricky. | ||
| You gotta have open communication with them, and then you gotta realize that they're, you know... | ||
| 10 years old. | ||
| They don't know what the fuck's going on. | ||
| And you're having a conversation with them, you're trying to explain it to them, and you also have to calm them down, because a lot of times when they get upset about something, they're not real good at managing their emotions. | ||
| Like, if one of the sisters is mad at the other one, there's always this kind of conversation and negotiation that has to be held. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| You gotta let a certain amount of time pass. | ||
| You have only daughters? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When they get mad at each other, you've got to let enough time pass so that the energy levels drop. | ||
| Because a lot of times the way they think about stuff is directly connected to the anger they feel right then in that moment. | ||
| They don't have good management skills. | ||
| They don't know how to not get too mad. | ||
| There's dudes that can say something that can piss you off and you go, look, I could either escalate this Or I could just calm down and be a man and not care if this person's insulting or this person's saying something stupid. | ||
| I'm just going to talk to them like how I would talk to everybody. | ||
| And that's on them. | ||
| They want to be a dick, that's on them. | ||
| But how long did it take you to learn that? | ||
|
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Forever. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Forever. | ||
| I think for most people it starts happening right around the time Where you don't feel invincible anymore. | ||
| Like somewhere in your 20s where you take that first real damage. | ||
| You take that first real L. It's sound energy management. | ||
| And it's sound discipline that applies to your whole life. | ||
| If you can avoid conflict when it's unnecessary. | ||
| Because there's people, the weakest amongst us, That gravitate towards conflicts constantly because it gives them a distraction from their own shortcomings and failings as a person. | ||
| So they'll gravitate towards fights with people. | ||
| They'll gravitate towards hyper-criticism towards one individual. | ||
| And usually it's a sign of someone not looking at themselves critically. | ||
| They usually have glaring flaws, but they're not willing to look at those. | ||
| They look at other people's flaws and they'll exaggerate those flaws and attack those people. | ||
| That's a lot of what conflict is. | ||
| A lot of conflict is internal. | ||
| And if you're not dealing with it internally, the way you externally communicate with other people is a lot of times it's very shitty because you have conflict. | ||
| Your body's in like a state of uncomfortability all the time. | ||
| Yes, I noticed that a lot of times when I'm gaming online. | ||
| Like, you could tell that sometimes people behave a certain way. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And you're just like, what the fuck is going on in your house, man? | ||
| Like, you need a hug or something. | ||
| Well, there's also games elevate people almost to the point of feeling like it's a real thing. | ||
| Like, the adrenaline that's involved in, like, if you're in a game of Quake, for instance, and you're running down a corridor and people are shooting rockets at you, and you're trying to survive and someone's chasing you down... | ||
| It doesn't feel like your life's really in danger, but your system is ramped the fuck up. | ||
| Your heart is beating fast. | ||
| Your adrenaline is pumping. | ||
| Your hands are shaking. | ||
| You're sweating. | ||
| Your brain is connecting this to the same type of feelings it would have if you were being physically attacked. | ||
| So when people say wild shit when they're gaming, a lot of times they're just saying wild shit because they literally feel like they're in a war. | ||
| They feel like they're being attacked without the danger. | ||
| So like they don't feel physically in danger, but they feel like, ah, it's a fucking joke! | ||
| Like you play a game, you get done, you're like, fuck! | ||
| Your hands are sweating. | ||
| You're like, Jesus Christ! | ||
| Especially your close ones. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Real close ones, they're crazy. | ||
| And if you win, you feel like the best. | ||
| And if you lose, you feel like such a piece of shit. | ||
| Like, damn it! | ||
| It's such a bad feeling to lose. | ||
| See, that's one of the reasons why kids are so crazy today. | ||
| Well, it goes along with what you were saying with the emotional management, because it's almost always, whenever I get matched up with adults, like in solo queue, when you get matched up when everyone's pretty much grown, it's very few problems, unless you're already tilted. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| Because some people come in and there's some bullshit from previous games. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They had a smurf on the other team or one of your teammates was throwing or something like that and you're just frustrated. | ||
| You know, three matches in a row is some bullshit or in the middle of your last one it disconnected. | ||
| It's that kind of shit. | ||
| You know what the best shit though is LAN parties. | ||
| Because LAN parties, you're friends and you're all in the room and you can talk shit in real time. | ||
| So you look over at each other and talk shit. | ||
| Oh my god, they don't do that anymore? | ||
| No, because you can have like, there's a... | ||
| There's programs where you can team speak and team speaks all this shit. | ||
| Yeah, no, I know about all that, but I think that there's got to be room for the conference table. | ||
| Get a conference table, get a bunch of dudes, link everybody up together, someone acts as a server, you got zero lag. | ||
| In fact, I don't even know if they... | ||
| Even design games with that in mind anymore. | ||
| That's outrageous! | ||
| I'm such an old timer. | ||
| But that was the shit, man, when you would play in a room together and a bunch of guys would get together in a room and you would have so much... | ||
| That's how I got addicted to the games. | ||
| The writing staff at NewsRadio had a LAN set up in their writing room. | ||
| And we went in there and we were playing Quake 3 and I was like, you motherfuckers, what have you done to my life? | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Drag me into your fucking addiction. | ||
| Yeah, we had... | ||
| No, it was Quake 2. That's what it was. | ||
| I remember when Halo 2 came out in the barracks. | ||
| We got in trouble because somebody reported as an eyesore, but we had land cables like... | ||
| 200-foot land cables going across the balcony, like across the courtyard and shit, playing Halo. | ||
| Had all the Xboxes all linked up. | ||
| And that was some of the most fun I've ever had. | ||
| Dude, when they make that shit virtual, when they get to a point where they can completely recreate a virtual reality situation like a video game, but you feel the ground on your feet, you got a real gun, it kicks when you shoot it. | ||
| It's coming. | ||
| It's coming for sure. | ||
| And it's close. | ||
| It's closer than you think. | ||
| I mean, Zuckerberg, he didn't make that pivot for no reason. | ||
| Have you ever done one of them places, like Sandbox, where you go in and you play virtual reality games? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh my god, dude. | ||
| There's this one where you go into a haunted house. | ||
| It's all filled with zombies and it's you and I've done it with my whole family a couple times. | ||
| My kids are shooting zombies in a virtual reality world. | ||
| It's amazing! | ||
| You wear a haptic feedback vest and you go into this building and inside this building they have these green rooms. | ||
| So you go into like a bigger than a podcast studio, maybe double the size of this podcast studio, maybe triple. | ||
| Of the whole building? | ||
| No, just us. | ||
| Where we are. | ||
| There would be like one room. | ||
| And in that one room, everything would be green screened. | ||
| And then you were wearing this full virtual reality gear. | ||
| And so you put this virtual reality gear on and then they start the program. | ||
| And then all of a sudden you see the floor. | ||
| You might be on a pirate ship. | ||
| You might be in the middle of the desert. | ||
| It's wild, man. | ||
| And it looks cool. | ||
| It doesn't look perfect. | ||
| I mean, it doesn't look like the best video games look, but it looks pretty goddamn good. | ||
| But I just saw the next thing, the Unreal Engine 5. Oh, incredible. | ||
| We've done that multiple times, but we can look at it again. | ||
| Yeah, it's coming to where they're there now. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| New haptic feedback vest lets you experience getting shot virtually. | ||
| So that must be a painful one. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, they're going to rig it up to the point where someone's going to be willing to take a game where you die. | ||
| Virtual reality, you're going to duel to the death. | ||
| There's going to come a time where the best gamers will also be the best athletes. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Instead of the top athletes going into the traditional sports, they're going to be doing this shit because you're going to have to be athletic to be good at the best... | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because if it does get to a point where it's your body is your player. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, what you can do in the game is directly proportional to what you can really do. | ||
| Well, players, I mean, I would think that anybody who's like an elite level athlete is going to have faster reaction times, too, and probably be better at handling pressure. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If they figure out, like, I know they've done some other type of places that have, like, structure. | ||
| Like a warehouse, and you're doing virtual reality, but there's actually, like, walls, and they have walls built in. | ||
| You can touch the walls and move around them, and you're shooting at each other and shit. | ||
| They're coming up with all these different places where you go and you pay. | ||
| But this sand house place, sandbox place, see if you can find the zombie game. | ||
| It's something mansion. | ||
| Deadwood Mansion, is that it? | ||
| Dude, it's the shit. | ||
| It's like you get zombies just running at you and you're splattering them with machine guns or with shotguns rather. | ||
| So are the guns virtual or do you have something in your hand? | ||
| You have a plastic gun in your hand. | ||
| Does it have a weight to it? | ||
| It's got a little bit of weight too, but also you have to reload it. | ||
| You have to push it down to reload it. | ||
| You have to do things to reload your gun, which makes you panic. | ||
| Are they like power-ups and shit? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, yeah, you can get killed, too. | ||
| So you're in this house, and so this is what it looks like in the room. | ||
| And it looks like a green screen when you first turn it on. | ||
| So this is the zombies. | ||
| So they're coming at you. | ||
| And you're in this dark. | ||
| This is what it looks like while you're actually playing it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Look at these dorks. | ||
| But it's fun, man. | ||
|
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I'm telling you. | |
| Is that here? | ||
| In Austin? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| You can do it in Austin. | ||
| It's at the Domain. | ||
| It's the shit. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| How fun is this? | ||
| Rats are coming at you. | ||
| You can stomp at them. | ||
| And the zombies run at you. | ||
| And there's also zombies that cling to the walls and they wrap their tongue around you and strangle you. | ||
| Things come out of the ceiling. | ||
| How do you keep from bumping into your family? | ||
| You do bump into them. | ||
| You just gotta be nice. | ||
| As someone who's been in VR for a little while now, I've been wondering, why do you think everything is just killing zombies? | ||
| It's fun! | ||
| I know, but I mean... | ||
| They have to die! | ||
| It's the no is it like the reality thing like where it'd be too fucking close to reality to kill anything other than I think is that it's it's close enough like you're still killing a person but one that you don't have to feel anything for Could you imagine if conflict breaks out between us and China and they start having virtual reality games We can kill Chinese people and Chinese people and kill Americans. | ||
| Well, don't they already do that? | ||
| I mean that virtual reality But if they if they start to have things like that Oh, yeah. | ||
| I mean, that's inevitable. | ||
| You know, people don't realize how quickly people demonize other groups. | ||
| You know, the first thing we do, we always give them a name. | ||
| We always give them a name because that helps the soldiers. | ||
| We always give them a derogatory nickname. | ||
| Yeah, that's where a lot of the slurs come from. | ||
| It's like someone we fought, and we were like, you're... | ||
| In Iraq, people started calling people hajis right away. | ||
| Just something not human. | ||
| Just something you don't even... | ||
| It's a concept. | ||
| It's not even like a person. | ||
|
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Right. | |
| You're othering them. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| You're othering them. | ||
| That's the easiest way to get people motivated. | ||
| You don't have to feel anything for it. | ||
| That's been a part of a human tribal relations since the beginning of time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's just how people are. | ||
| It's easier for us to think of them as not being human. | ||
| But that's the real hustle. | ||
| That's the real hustle. | ||
| The real world is just people. | ||
| The fucked up thing is we get... | ||
| We get, like, sectioned off in these government-controlled areas. | ||
| So we had a small group of people that always do a terrible job that we re-elect every time for whatever years. | ||
| They're always terrible at it. | ||
| And we let them lead us into conflict. | ||
| If you eliminated all those people, all of them, all the people that tell you what to do, and you were left with just human beings, I feel like we could work a system out. | ||
| I feel like we could work a system out without leaders The problem is when you have leaders and leaders want to do this they want to do that they want to and then there's Companies that are profiting off of things like natural resources Like there's something kind of fucked up about making trillions of dollars out of the blood of the earth when you say leaders because every because here's something here's something I just suspects that everyone deep down wants to be led and It's just a matter of whether you trust, | ||
| like if you trust the person in charge, you immediately like, yes, just what do I need to do? | ||
| Yeah, we want a real leader. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So a leader would always emerge. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But they don't, not anymore. | ||
| Because now the price is too high. | ||
| So it's like the price of digging into a person's personal life or distorting their past is so sketchy for people. | ||
| Like all these people, they all come up with some story of some horrific thing they did right before they run for election. | ||
| People know about this. | ||
| So I think there's like a real hesitancy of a lot of brilliant people to get involved in that muckraking and just to feel what it feels like to have that. | ||
| We love to play in the mud. | ||
| But it's also like the type of person that really wants to be a leader is one of two people, right? | ||
| It's either someone who really cares and wants the world to be a better place and thinks they can pull it off. | ||
| They think they can do better and they can make some real change and they can maybe help the community of the United States as a community, like as a group of humans that want the world to be a better place for each other. | ||
| And then there's crazy people. | ||
| And then there's people that are like completely bought and sold by the political system and the special interest groups and the lobbyists and they're deeply entwined and they have no ambitions whatsoever to try to step outside of that. | ||
| They live in that world. | ||
| They hop knob. | ||
| They all know the same people. | ||
| They go to the same parties. | ||
| They think the same thoughts. | ||
| They're just Hollywood with ugly people. | ||
| Imagine being born with it. | ||
| You know what they just did in North Korea? | ||
| They banned laughter. | ||
| For 11 days. | ||
| Imagine bringing that idea up in a room full of powerful people and no one being like, I don't think that's... | ||
| That's why you can't have anybody in control. | ||
| You can't have a person in control. | ||
| You can't have, like, George Bush or Joe Biden or any of these people that are in control where the whole world was freaked out that this is the guy, whether it's Donald Trump or some people who's even Obama. | ||
| Having a person who is the fucking leader of the free world is crazy. | ||
| We all know it's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And having all these people that put that person into place and then seeing the way they operate and what they do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When you see that Nancy Pelosi makes $200,000 a year and she's worth a hundred and something million dollars, you're like, what? | ||
| Where did you get that money? | ||
| Nothing to see here. | ||
| And then you hear that they can actually participate in the stock market? | ||
| So they actually buy and trade stocks? | ||
| And they sometimes know about things like laws that are going to be passed, they're going to benefit stocks? | ||
| I think you should have to give up all your assets. | ||
| Somebody just proposed, some senator just proposed, that congresspeople should not be able to trade in stocks while they're in office. | ||
| Maybe even when you're out. | ||
| Yeah, ever. | ||
| It's a tricky thing. | ||
| It's because it's like, when you're out, you're out. | ||
| You should be able to do whatever you want, right? | ||
| But, did you make deals while you were in? | ||
| Of course you did. | ||
| That when you were out, they would give you information? | ||
| Because, like, here's a deal that's legal, that's kind of sneaky. | ||
| The private speaking deal. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Like, there's a weird deal. | ||
| Like, if you were president, right? | ||
| And then you get out of office, like, Brian did a great job for us, and hey, we would love you to come talk at our fucking blah blah blah meeting, and they'll give you a half a million. | ||
| Give you a half a million to go up and talk. | ||
| Which is insane. | ||
| I would never... | ||
| You know how you hear those people, they're like, if you could have dinner with one person, and people pick politicians, like, why would you do that? | ||
| I would like to look in their eyes and smell their breath. | ||
| I'd like to be around them. | ||
| I would interview, like, maybe somebody in their family, like their spouses. | ||
| Like, I would talk to Michelle Obama before I talk to Barack Obama. | ||
| Because they spend their whole life just so, you know, everything's so sanitized and pre-thought out. | ||
| You got to talk to one that's dying. | ||
| Oh yeah, that's a good idea. | ||
| You want to talk to one and gain their trust. | ||
| Get that motherfucker on his last day up in Oregon with the juice in his cup. | ||
| Maybe not even the last day. | ||
| Like, if you could talk to any president, if you have a conversation, which one would it be? | ||
| And they have to be 100% truthful with me? | ||
| Well, they don't have to. | ||
| They're just going to talk to you. | ||
| Just a person. | ||
| No magic powers. | ||
| Which person would you want to talk to? | ||
| Which former president? | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| That's tough. | ||
| Any former president? | ||
| Anyone. | ||
| That's alive. | ||
| Not like Eisenhower. | ||
| Oh, that's alive. | ||
| Yeah, I would go to Eisenhower. | ||
| Oh, it would be Obama then. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How much time do you think you would need to figure out if he's full of shit? | ||
| You need a few hours. | ||
| Yeah, I say a few hours of talking to him. | ||
| You need a few hours to see that spark. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because that's enough time to get him to repeat things. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Just to be talking about stuff. | ||
| I wonder if he drinks. | ||
| If you just get a couple of drinks. | ||
| He does drink. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh, perfect. | |
| Remember he had a beer with the, remember the racism incident with the black professor? | ||
| He got arrested. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| By the white cop. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then they came to the White House and had a beer with Obama. | ||
| Who does that? | ||
| That's one of the best things about him being president. | ||
| He thought outside the box. | ||
| And he could pull something like that off. | ||
| Like, I don't know, you know, there's a lot of people that don't like his policy choices and what he did with drones, what he did with freedom of the press. | ||
| There's a lot of issues with Obama, but I think there's issues with anybody that's the president. | ||
| And I have a feeling that once you get into office, it is a wild menagerie of interests and people and fucking, you have to concentrate on this part of the world because there's conflict with this guy and this guy trying to steal the resources and the stock market's fucked and the this and that. | ||
| It's celebrity with consequences. | ||
| Not only that, it's like you got to be the best in the world at it and you just started last week. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You've never been the president before. | ||
| Like if you become the president and then all of a sudden you're inside, you literally have the toughest job in the world and a new person tries it out every four years. | ||
| It's a job like you probably should get real good at it. | ||
| Right? | ||
| You should probably do it for decades and decades, but we don't trust you. | ||
| It's built into the thing. | ||
| We don't trust you. | ||
| Like any other job. | ||
| Imagine if you were a CEO of Apple, but you could only be the CEO of Apple for four years, and then you have to run for it again. | ||
| Who the fuck would... | ||
| That would be a disaster. | ||
| And I bet you there's definitely... | ||
| Shit that they don't tell you until you swear in. | ||
| And then they pull you in the room and go, okay, so this is where the aliens are? | ||
| This is who killed John F. Kennedy? | ||
| We've also implanted a uranium bomb in the base of your spine, so if you get out of line, boom, we're gonna blow your head off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That kind of shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Remember that Bill Hicks joke? | ||
| He said, I think they take you into a room full with smoky industrialists, a smoky room, and he said, and then they play you a video of the Kennedy assassination from an angle you've never seen before. | ||
| That's brilliant! | ||
| That's brilliant. | ||
| And then they say, any questions? | ||
| And he goes, just what is my agenda? | ||
| I think you don't get to be the president unless they pick you until Trump came along. | ||
| And I think Trump was an odd combination of, yeah, there were definitely people that stand to make a lot of money with him in office, whatever the regulations that he was passing, that he's friendly to business, and they thought it was going to be good for business, and so they had an interest in getting him in there. | ||
| But he wasn't a regular politician guy. | ||
| He was some crazy billionaire famous guy who's like famous for being outrageous, you're fired, and then all of a sudden he's running the country? | ||
| Like what? | ||
| I think what really fucked people up is that he didn't follow any of the rules. | ||
| Because there's rules of like, you can't do this, you can't say that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You can't do this. | ||
| You have to abide by... | ||
| And he's like, fuck all that. | ||
| And that fucked him up because that means you can't control a person. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He was going to be his own guy and he had the support of all the people that love him above and beyond any president he ever had before. | ||
| You think he's going to run again? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| You don't think he is? | ||
| Man, I just... | ||
| I just don't... | ||
| Because when he ran the first time... | ||
| It was very divisive, but now there's these, you know, with the COVID division and the vaccine division, that would be like what happened before, I hate to say on steroids, but That's a phrase. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's like, it would just be... | ||
| Because now you have four or five reasons to fucking hate your family. | ||
| I know people that stop talking to their friends. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't lose friends like that. | ||
| What if maybe Biden fucks it up so bad four years from now that Trump looks like a viable option? | ||
| I think that's possible, too. | ||
| We're looking at a situation right now where we're a year in, right? | ||
| January is a year into his presidency, and you can't hate a person for getting old. | ||
| It's just a part of being a human being. | ||
| But when you watch him ramble on TV, nobody has confidence that this is the most clear-headed, Most logical, most well-read and wise of all the leaders in the world. | ||
| That's a crazy thing to say, right? | ||
| Whether you think he's okay, whether you think he's fine, my point is, is that the best representative of the United States of America? | ||
| And I think most people, being honest, would say no. | ||
| No. | ||
| Most of the people that voted for Biden... | ||
| We're voting against Trump. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But Biden and Harris were acting like we looked at them as like saviors. | ||
| Some people did. | ||
| A lot of people, the hardcore people in the Democratic Party. | ||
| That's the thing, man. | ||
| Those are the people that they communicate with the most other than the press. | ||
| And the press is a lot of it is the hardcore members of the Democrat Party is a lot of the press. | ||
| Well, the thing is, they don't want... | ||
| because the pandemic was going on at the same time, they didn't realize that they represented the status quo at the same time that everyone was slowly realizing that going back to the way things were going back to the way things were wasn't what we wanted right yeah that that force break where everybody got at least six months to a year off and you were getting money from the government so you didn't have to do more shit and you just had time to focus on what you wanted and what you liked and then and now people are coming back | ||
| they don't want to take the same jobs for shit pay and no benefits and joe biden just like the status quo was safer to some people than trump but most people don't want that we People don't want you to go back to 2019 the way things were. | ||
| Yeah, I think what people would want is more opportunity to pursue what they really want to do versus what they were just doing for money. | ||
| I think when you take everything away, a lot of people at least, some people were just itching to go back to the way things were before. | ||
| Just give me my job back. | ||
| I miss not having to think about money. | ||
| I miss knowing I got a steady check. | ||
| But some people are like, you know what? | ||
| I'm happier just making fucking ashtrays or whatever. | ||
| I'm happier starting a business on Etsy. | ||
| I'm happier. | ||
| I'm happier doing this or doing that. | ||
| People just started doing different stuff. | ||
| And they started thinking when something got taken away from them that they never realized that someone could just take something away from you like that. | ||
| Like comics. | ||
| You can't do shows. | ||
| That was Los Angeles. | ||
| This is how dumb the government in Los Angeles is. | ||
| They were like, you can't do outside shows. | ||
| And they're like, outside? | ||
| What if we do outside? | ||
| And the comedy store said, what if we do outside and we put up a barrier? | ||
| A plastic, clear, see-through barrier between the comic and the audience. | ||
| No. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, I said you can't. | ||
| Then we did them in the window. | ||
| Bro, it didn't make any sense. | ||
| The logic behind it was so stupid, and they didn't care about the businesses because they don't have to, because their money is not based on how much the businesses earn. | ||
| If politicians' money was all based on a percentage of the gross profits of the neighborhood they control, they'd have a completely different way of dealing with people. | ||
| And they would have let those shows keep rolling. | ||
| Because if they knew that if all the bars were closed and all the comedy clubs were closed, the amount of revenue that's missing from their pockets would be substantial. | ||
| If you tank an economy, you lose your money. | ||
| Like, let's say you're a mayor, and what does a mayor get paid? | ||
| I don't even know. | ||
| Let's just say it's $300,000 a year. | ||
| What if you have a base salary of $100,000 but a potential for $7,000 to $8,000? | ||
| So potential for five thousand or five hundred thousand more rather than you would have gotten on a straight-up contract. | ||
| You just have to show that you're friendly to business and that you're helping the businesses stay open in the air. | ||
| So the more profit, gross profit gets counted for in your area, the more potential you have up into a cap. | ||
| So you would want to make that cap. | ||
| What's to stop you from selling out just your mom and pops for like a big super target or some shit? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| You'd have to have like very staunch regulations to stop that kind of stuff from happening. | ||
| You gave me an idea earlier. | ||
| What if after graduating from high school, we just sort of do for those kids what we did during the pandemic? | ||
| When you graduate high school, the government, just for a year, gives you enough money to live on, and you can just... | ||
| Because I feel like you would come out of that... | ||
| You're not even allowed to start college. | ||
| You just have to live for a year, try a little different interests, and then by the time you go to... | ||
| Because the hardest thing about me starting college was they were like, okay, so decide today what you want to focus your whole rest of your life on. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it leaves people in a state of desperation. | ||
| I remember I made a lot of lies to myself where I pretended there was jobs that I could have done. | ||
| I was like, yeah, I could do that for a living. | ||
| My brain was like, what are you talking about? | ||
| But my desperation and my worry about not having a future was having me convinced. | ||
| That I could do construction or that I could be an architect. | ||
| I was trying to come up with jobs, like a regular job to do. | ||
| But the idea of being locked into some sort of a job, like all day for eight hours a day for my personality, was like being strangled. | ||
| I was like, I can't do this. | ||
| I can't do it. | ||
| And I felt like such a loser, man. | ||
| That's the ironic part. | ||
| The thing that led me to success was the thing that made me feel like such a fucking loser when I was young. | ||
| Because I couldn't keep jobs. | ||
| I wouldn't do it. | ||
| I'd be like, I gotta get out of here. | ||
| I can't do this. | ||
| Or just for me, I couldn't take things that didn't make sense. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Where it's like you're doing something, you have a boss that's secretive or whatever the fuck, and you're doing something that is pointless. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It ate away at me, man. | ||
| And I've had good jobs. | ||
| It wasn't the pay. | ||
| It wasn't where I was living. | ||
| It wasn't even the actual work itself. | ||
| It was just the idea that what I was doing didn't mean anything. | ||
| Sometimes you meet people along the way in your life that you meet just so that you kind of get, they're like a little lesson for you. | ||
| Like you could lose it all and you can go down this road where you just make a bad decision and now you're doing something meaningless forever. | ||
| There was this one guy that I used to drive limos with, and he was an older guy, and he had a Cadillac, and he was overweight, this poor bastard, and he knew all the places that had the biggest meals. | ||
| This is Vegas? | ||
| No, this is Boston. | ||
| I was driving limos, and they had a pep talk for us one day. | ||
| I forget the guy's name, but they were saying, you know, he works, you know, X amount of hours per week. | ||
| He's like 60 hours a week. | ||
| He's like, the guy's making more than 60 grand a year. | ||
| He doesn't have to bust his ass. | ||
| He's just sitting in his beautiful car, driving around. | ||
| He makes a great fucking living. | ||
| And I remember thinking while these guys were saying, like, oh, my God, what a trap. | ||
| They're leading you to the dumbest trap ever. | ||
| They're saying you're going to give up all day, every day. | ||
| If you're going to work 60 hours a week, that's an extra 20 on top of 40. So fuck 9 to 5. You're working a lot of extra hours. | ||
| Another 20 a week. | ||
| You're working 12 hour shifts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's 4 extra fucking hours. | |
| Hours every day. | ||
| Four extra hours Monday through Friday. | ||
| 20 extra fucking hours is nuts. | ||
| But that is a lot of guys. | ||
| A lot of guys just take that job. | ||
| They'll do 12 every day. | ||
| And that guy was doing 12 every day. | ||
| And he was a beaten man. | ||
| He was probably like 10 years younger than me right now. | ||
| And he looked like a dead man. | ||
| And they were talking about how, you know, he's got a great living, doesn't bust his ass. | ||
| And I'm like, this guy doesn't want to take people to the airport. | ||
| This is just like, this guy got stuck in this thing. | ||
| And those people, they come into your life to show you. | ||
| Like, okay. | ||
| You can't just do something meaningless all day, every day, forever. | ||
| You've got to have some reason why you like doing it. | ||
| It's not that you can't drive limos. | ||
| I drove limos. | ||
| It's that driving them 12 hours a day, every day, is not good. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| Unless you love it, right? | ||
| How could you love it? | ||
| I mean, maybe you enjoy talking to people or you have a great client or something like that, but for most people, it's something you do to try to accumulate some money and try to get out. | ||
| I knew this guy who was a limo driver. | ||
| He wanted to be a record executive. | ||
| He was really into music. | ||
| He was talking about music. | ||
| He was trying to figure out how to bankroll. | ||
| This was in the 90s. | ||
| He was trying to figure out how to bankroll a CD and put together songs and bands and shit. | ||
| He just was stuck in a job, you know? | ||
| He's just doing a job as a... | ||
| Did he ever do it? | ||
| I don't think he did. | ||
| I think maybe he tried once. | ||
| I lost touch with him. | ||
| It's very tricky, that world, man. | ||
| You have to drive people around, and you're in your car all day, and you're probably sucking in the worst air that you could get. | ||
| The air on the freeway? | ||
| Highway air, yeah. | ||
| How bad's that air? | ||
| That can't be good for you. | ||
| Has anybody ever done an analysis on how bad highway driving is for your health? | ||
| Like people who drive limos or people who have long commutes every day? | ||
| One of my drivers recently reported me and I think that's why. | ||
| Because he was losing his mind? | ||
| No, because I rolled the window down on the highway. | ||
| The car smelled so bad, and right when I got to the point where I couldn't take it no more, we were getting on the highway. | ||
| Did he say, hey, roll the window up, and you're like, hey, fuck you? | ||
| No, but he rolled it up. | ||
| Oh, he rolled up that the guy pulled down my window? | ||
| No, I rolled it down, and he rolled it back up. | ||
| And then I rolled it back down. | ||
| Oh my god, you guys didn't talk? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| No, we didn't talk, but the tension was thick, though. | ||
| Hold on, that's another bit. | ||
| That's another bit right that time. | ||
| And then this morning, I got an email from Lyft that was like, drivers have reported a couple of your recent... | ||
| Keep in mind, I got a 5.0 on Lyft. | ||
| I've been with them from the beginning. | ||
| I got a five-star rating. | ||
| And now, recently, a driver has reported my ride. | ||
| Just one? | ||
| Only that guy? | ||
| No, it says drivers, but it always says drivers, whether it's one or not, because they don't want you to be able to narrow it down. | ||
| Write that down, dude. | ||
| There's something about getting in a lift with a stinky dude, and you roll the window down, and he rolls it up, and you roll it down again. | ||
| Because like I said, if I don't care about you, how can I tell you that the problem is the odor? | ||
| I know, but the problem is you guys aren't talking. | ||
| What's funny is you're not even having a conversation. | ||
| You're just rolling the windows down. | ||
| Because you know why? | ||
| What it is is The passive-aggressive, I'm going to roll the window up without saying anything, he's already at the point where he feels disrespected. | ||
| So I think to him, this is beyond talking. | ||
| Well, he shouldn't have a bullshit car that doesn't have a child lock. | ||
| For the windows? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, maybe he did. | ||
| He didn't turn it on. | ||
| He likes the game. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's also me kind of being cowardly, but at the same time, I'm not trying to upset the motherfucker that's driving my car. | ||
| That's not cowardly. | ||
| That's not cowardly. | ||
| That's just being nice. | ||
| You're not going to change his smell over the next 40 minutes that you're in a car with him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're not changing his smell. | ||
| Because you know what it smelled like? | ||
| It smelled like he just ate some exotic food or something. | ||
| Maybe he did. | ||
| But he didn't air it out. | ||
| Some people get real sensitive to that if you're eating a lot of garlic or weird foods. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Some people are real sensitive to that. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, if you just put on what you're doing, like, you know, if it's fish or something, it's like, you gotta eat that shit at home. | ||
| You can't, like, bring, like, a baked piece of fish in a car. | ||
| I've seen so many fights on the subway, on the train, from people trying to eat on the train, and, you know, they open it up and there's something pungent. | ||
| And somebody's like, hey, man, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| You know, and it turns into something. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| That's a decision you made. | ||
| You know what you're doing. | ||
| If you open some food on the train, you're basically rolling the dice that nobody on this train has the balls to confront me about this. | ||
| Have you ever eaten durian? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Durian is a fruit that in many hotels is illegal. | ||
| It's illegal to eat on a lot of planes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It has a rotten, disgusting smell to it. | ||
| It's the weirdest smell for a fruit. | ||
| It's not bad tasting. | ||
| It's one of those weird things where the smell is worse than the taste. | ||
| So why do people eat it? | ||
| They like it. | ||
| Some people like it. | ||
| It's a popular fruit. | ||
| Again, I ate that in Thailand. | ||
| That was in Thailand as well. | ||
| I was like, this is weird. | ||
| This durian stuff is so weird. | ||
| There's rules and regulations on a lot of airlines, a lot of hotels. | ||
| It's that weird. | ||
| I never heard of this. | ||
| I wish we had some in here. | ||
| I'll bring you some. | ||
| Show them a picture of what it looks like. | ||
| That's what it looks like. | ||
| Oh, why people love durian, the banned fruit that stinks like garbage. | ||
| The aroma of durian. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| One of the most polarizing foods in the world. | ||
| It's hard to pin down, but there are some attempts people have made. | ||
| Limburger cheese, gym socks and turpentine, New York City's hot summer garbage, and pig droppings. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| So that's what it looks like. | ||
| That's all you gotta do to make me not eat some shit. | ||
| It smells like New York City. | ||
| But look how beautiful it is. | ||
| It's a beautiful piece of fruit, like all the little prickly things on the outside of it. | ||
| If you cut it open and eat it inside, it's just this rancid, weird, sweet, stinky thing. | ||
| Is the shitty smell coming from the white or the yellow? | ||
| The yellow stuff that you eat. | ||
| It stinks. | ||
| I mean, maybe the white stuff stinks too, but the yellow... | ||
| It's a weird thing because you would imagine that that's not good for you. | ||
| Because if you look at all the thorns and everything on the outside, that means nature doesn't necessarily... | ||
| I mean, I'm just guessing, but the nature doesn't really want you to eat it. | ||
| It's like hiding it from you. | ||
| It's hiding it inside this literally prickly armor, right? | ||
| Well, this plant has evolved this as a defense. | ||
| But the plant's probably like, come on, I got spikes, I stink! | ||
| But look at the nutrition profile. | ||
| Compared to a banana, a banana has 358 milligrams of potassium, but durian has 436. 2.6 grams of fiber for a banana, 3.8 for durian. | ||
| Folate, total 20 for the banana. | ||
| I don't know what a PG is. | ||
| And then 36 for durian. | ||
| And then vitamin C, 8.7 milligrams. | ||
| That's not convincing me, though. | ||
| Versus 19.7. | ||
| Yeah, it's super healthy for you. | ||
| Yeah, but that's the trade-off. | ||
| I would just trade off. | ||
| I'd rather be low on all that than eat a plant that smells like New York City garbage. | ||
| It doesn't smell quite that bad, but it doesn't smell good. | ||
| But to me, it's like if I want fruit, I want something that tastes good and smells good. | ||
| I want watermelon. | ||
| I want a peach. | ||
| I want a juicy, ripe peach. | ||
| If you open up one of those, it's going to become a discussion. | ||
| I don't want to be conflicted about what I'm eating. | ||
| I want to bite into a delicious orange. | ||
| You know you get the perfect orange? | ||
| An orange is like a dark orange and it's got a lot of life to it. | ||
| I'm a tangerine man. | ||
| I love tangerines. | ||
| Yeah, but see, there's asshole motherfuckers out there that'll bring a fruit salad to the function and it has that shit in it. | ||
| Oh my god, who does that? | ||
| There's assholes out there that'll do it. | ||
| Yeah, just to fuck with you. | ||
| It's like, this is my culture. | ||
| I'm like, fuck you. | ||
| When you bring shit to a potluck or something, you gotta bring shit you know everyone's eating. | ||
| Pineapple's tough to fuck with. | ||
| If it's hot outside, you got some cold pineapple, that's tough to beat. | ||
| It's because it's got a bite to it. | ||
| It's like chewy. | ||
| It's a good texture. | ||
| Oh my God, the sweetness of the pineapple. | ||
| You ever had a fresh one? | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Yeah, there's nothing quite like it. | ||
| I mean, oh man, any good ass fruit. | ||
| Any fresh fruit is just great. | ||
| Even coconut milk, like right out of the thing when they hack the top of it with a machete and stick a straw in there. | ||
| God damn, that's good. | ||
| It's real good. | ||
| God damn, that's good. | ||
| Because there's things that taste good because you're supposed to eat them, right? | ||
| Like fruits. | ||
| They want you to eat them. | ||
| They're going, come on, look at me, I'm so pretty. | ||
| Come eat me. | ||
| And it's cliche too, but it's also like... | ||
| The environment you're eating them in. | ||
| So if you get some fresh pineapple in the morning, like when the sun coming up and you at the beach, you know something like that? | ||
| That's the ultimate shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, you just had a blunt, fresh pineapple cracked open right there, sunrise. | ||
| But fresh anything, right? | ||
| If you caught a fish right there at the beach and you fried it, like on a fire that you made, like right there, you had a little grill set up right there on the beach, and you just salt that bitch up, put a little olive oil on it. | ||
| Lay it on that little Weber grill. | ||
| Flip it over. | ||
| You can do all the fancy shit you want to meet. | ||
| But the fresh shit with just a little bit of salt. | ||
| And cooked over wood. | ||
| Like I've been doing a lot of that lately. | ||
| I've been doing a lot of that lately. | ||
| There's something about just cooking over firewood. | ||
| Whatever caveman shit that makes men enjoy grilling, there's clearly a thing. | ||
| Like, it's not just me. | ||
| It's been a fucking dad meme forever, right? | ||
| A theme that guys, the dad will be out there flipping the burgers and making the steaks. | ||
| It's always been the case. | ||
| Men like to cook over fire. | ||
| Women like to cook, and they like to cook over fire, but men really fucking like to cook over fire. | ||
| There's a power to it. | ||
| Well, there's something that connects us to some raw, primitive, like, it's like it excites parts of your brain where you're cooking meat over fire. | ||
| You know what I'd love to see you try? | ||
| And I would like to try it if you haven't tried it before. | ||
| What? | ||
| So I don't know if you ever, and this blew my mind because I just learned this like a few months ago. | ||
| There's a Brazilian cow. | ||
| Oh, yeah, I know about that. | ||
| And it has a hump. | ||
| And that hump is a specific cut of meat you can only get from Brazilian cows. | ||
| I forget what it's called, though. | ||
| I forget what it's called, too. | ||
| But Brazilians know what the fuck they're doing, man. | ||
| Nobody does it better. | ||
| Chuhascarias? | ||
| Coopin. | ||
| Coopin. | ||
| Traditional meat cut from Brazil. | ||
| A beef hump of a Brazilian... | ||
| It's a zebu cattle. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| It's a tender, rich, and marbled cut of meat. | ||
| Woo! | ||
| Bro, they figured it out. | ||
| Those chujas carillas is the greatest fucking invention in all of culinary foods. | ||
| What is a chujas carilla? | ||
| You never been? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my God. | |
| Is that just a Brazilian steakhouse? | ||
| Have you ever been to Fogo de Chao or any of those places? | ||
| Oh my God, Brian. | ||
| What the fuck are you saying to me? | ||
| You have to go. | ||
| I wish we could go right now. | ||
| Maybe we should go. | ||
| Maybe we should go before the show. | ||
| It's quarter to five. | ||
| Quarter? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| What it is, is they have fire and then skewers of meat. | ||
| They're set up around the fire. | ||
| And you have a card. | ||
| And on one side of the card is green and one side of the card is red. | ||
| So when you have it green, you leave it up and they just come over with all kinds of foods. | ||
| They have like chicken wrapped in bacon and garlic beef and picanha. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| All of it is cooked over and they never stop. | ||
| They never stop coming to you. | ||
| And they give you tongs and they slice it off of the skewer right there by your table and you put that shit in your plate and within 10 minutes you're like, I can't eat anymore. | ||
| And they keep coming. | ||
| They keep coming. | ||
| They're bringing over pork ribs and oh my god, it's phenomenal. | ||
| It's one of my favorite places to eat. | ||
| What did you call it? | ||
| It's called a churrascaria. | ||
| Churrascaria. | ||
| It's a Brazilian term. | ||
| I ate one in Sao Paulo. | ||
| I've eaten at them in Rio, in Brazil. | ||
| It's pretty fucking dope. | ||
| It's a style of cooking that they invented in Brazil. | ||
| Isn't it just like in the oven? | ||
| But it's the style of restaurant. | ||
| It's not an oven. | ||
| They just have wood that's burning in a pit. | ||
| And then they have these steaks that are around it. | ||
| And they generally, like, see if we can show how they cook it. | ||
| You can see it. | ||
| Oh, so it's a Portuguese word for barbecue. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| So you can see the way they cook it. | ||
| There's videos of it where they have, like, the fire in the center. | ||
| But everything's moving around. | ||
| Everything's open flame cooking. | ||
| Yeah, most of it. | ||
| Or this one's not. | ||
| This one's doing it a different way. | ||
| But it depends on the place. | ||
| Like some places, they actually do it over live fire. | ||
| And some places, they do it over these kind of ovens. | ||
| But the key is that everything's rotating. | ||
| And so they cook it on the outside. | ||
| And then they bring it to you and slice the outside of it off onto your plate. | ||
| And then they put the rest of it back over the fire. | ||
| So it keeps slowly cooking and slowly browning the outside. | ||
| It's like, you brought in that shit. | ||
| You're like, oh! | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's incredible. | |
| It's so good. | ||
| Dude, I love that kind of... | ||
| I love an expert. | ||
| We talked about this before. | ||
| There was a Peruvian chicken spot at the bottom of my high-rise when I lived in Virginia. | ||
| And everybody I brought there was like, oh really? | ||
| Like a chicken spot at the bottom of an apartment building? | ||
| And everybody I brought there was like, holy shit, all they made was chicken. | ||
| All they made was these little rotisserie chickens would just spin all day long and drip juices on each other. | ||
| It was like a giant wheel that would do that. | ||
| We had a place like that in Calabasas that went under because the dude didn't want to switch to credit cards. | ||
| Oh yeah, you said you would buy it. | ||
| Oh my god, it was amazing. | ||
| They went under because the guy, he would only take cash. | ||
| He never wanted to switch over to credit. | ||
| People were like, I don't have enough fucking cash. | ||
| Come on, take a credit card. | ||
| Anybody carrying around $300? | ||
| They had a big copper-colored oven in the middle of their store, which was like, they built it. | ||
| It's a Starbucks now. | ||
| But back when I was first living there in the 90s, it was this big-ass wood-fired oven. | ||
| And they'd be constantly throwing wood into this pit. | ||
| They had stacks of firewood. | ||
| This is like in Calabasas. | ||
| And they have this giant rotisserie that's spinning around with all these chickens on it. | ||
| And it was the best chicken you've ever had in your life. | ||
| They had it down to a science, because that's all they cooked was chicken. | ||
| And they had a few other things, like they made like pastrami Rubens and a couple... | ||
| But if you were there, you were there for the fucking chicken. | ||
| The chicken was out of control. | ||
| It was out of control. | ||
| It was so... | ||
| The spice, they just had it down. | ||
| The right amount of butter, the right amount of spice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it went under! | ||
| Is that Chix? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There it is. | ||
| How can your shit be that good when you go out of business? | ||
| Bro, that's what it looked like. | ||
| That's what it looked like. | ||
| So they had all these chickens spinning around. | ||
| He went out of business because he didn't want to fucking take credit cards. | ||
| They had been around for like 25 years. | ||
| The only Mexican-Jewish restaurant in town. | ||
| It was Mexican and Jewish. | ||
| They were the shit. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| It says Woodland Hills. | ||
| I guess it was Woodland Hills. | ||
| I wonder if you can find that guy and get the recipe. | ||
| Well, you would need that kind of a grill, too. | ||
| There's a thing about those oven grills. | ||
| That's why people love Kamados. | ||
| You know what a Kamado is? | ||
| A Kamado is like a big green egg. | ||
| That's a famous Kamado or Kamado Joe. | ||
| It's a special kind of grill that's lined mostly with ceramic. | ||
| And it creates like this, there's a heat and there's a way it retains moisture in these like ceramic grills that has a certain special flavor that imparts in food. | ||
| People really love it. | ||
| It's like a very popular way to slow cook things. | ||
| A lot of people really enjoy slow cooking things in a Kamado. | ||
| You never seen one of them before? | ||
| No. | ||
| Pull up a Komodo Kamado. | ||
| It's like the most impressive company. | ||
| I had one of those when I lived in California. | ||
| But I left it at the house I sold because it was too heavy to move. | ||
| But a Komodo Kamado is a... | ||
| So you have to have it like built in? | ||
| No, no, they wheel them in. | ||
| But this was a really pretty one, and the thing about it was, it's like these Kamados, like, you can get one from Weber, like the same company that makes them kettle grills. | ||
| They make a Kamado, a real nice one. | ||
| If I was going to buy one, I'd probably buy that one because it's steel. | ||
| It retains heat and it does all the things that the other one does. | ||
| It's really well insulated by design, but also it's light. | ||
| It's not impossible to carry. | ||
| These motherfuckers, I had one of those. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I've heard them call something else. | ||
| It's a Kamado grill. | ||
| See that one in the center? | ||
| I had one like that. | ||
| The big blue one that's in the middle? | ||
| I had one like that. | ||
| And it's that heavy? | ||
| Oh my God, it was so heavy. | ||
| It was covered in tile. | ||
| That's a Kamado Joe. | ||
| But the one I had was this Kamado Kamado. | ||
| That one in the lower right, right to the side, to the right cursor of where you are. | ||
| Yeah, that thing. | ||
| That's one by the same company. | ||
| That's the biggest one they make. | ||
| I had the circular one. | ||
| The scale was off in my head. | ||
| No, they're huge. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| That one's way bigger than the one I had. | ||
| I had that one, the one in the middle, Jamie. | ||
| The one in the middle, right there. | ||
| That's what I had. | ||
| So that was like the medium size. | ||
| That one says 23 inches. | ||
| That was about as big as mine was. | ||
| What were you cooking on that? | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| Mostly I just cook steak. | ||
| Mostly I'm grilling meat. | ||
| I try to do a bunch of other stuff, but what I like to... | ||
| I eat meat. | ||
| That's what I do. | ||
| I eat mostly meat. | ||
| Like, I feel at my best when I'm eating a lot of meat. | ||
| And I don't like to... | ||
| When I fuck around with bread, I do it just for the taste. | ||
| When I eat pasta, I know I'm paying a price. | ||
| It's like the way I feel if I do shots of tequila. | ||
| Like, okay. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I know what we're doing. | ||
| We're just going to enjoy this for a little bit, but we're going to have to do some recovery work. | ||
| Yeah, you're like, I'm going to put this in the bank. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But those things are, you know, people like that kind of cooking. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And if you cook on those things, man, there's something about that. | ||
| And you're putting wood in that basket? | ||
| Well, you can. | ||
| You can put wood in there. | ||
| Some people do, but most of the time you use lump charcoal. | ||
| But I've been cooking on one of these Argentina-style grills. | ||
| When you crank the thing, click, click, click, click, click, click, click. | ||
| It goes up or down. | ||
| And I've been cooking on straight firewood, like logs of oak logs. | ||
| Man, there's something exciting about that. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, something exciting about it. | ||
| The wood makes a difference? | ||
| It makes a difference. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| The smoke makes a difference. | ||
| You smell it in the meat. | ||
| But there's something about cooking outside over fire and you're looking at the fire and hearing the meat crackling and taking in the smells. | ||
| It's part of the experience. | ||
| It's almost like foreplay to your dinner. | ||
| Well, you're obviously eating shit that you've killed. | ||
| See, I've never done that. | ||
| Yeah, but even if I eat a domestic steak, even if I have a nice grass-fed ribeye, I'll put a little bit of garlic in the pan, and I'll put some butter and some rosemary, get some fucking herbal scents on that meat and baste it on top of it, too. | ||
| There's something exciting about cooking over fire, man. | ||
| It's been a long time since I did that. | ||
| I'll still cook in a pellet grill and I'll sear on a cast iron frying pan and I love cooking. | ||
| But there's something about fire. | ||
| It brings out a thing in people. | ||
| Where that genetic memory that we were talking about, it reminds us of how thrilling it was to be cooking a piece of meat that you killed over a fire because that meant your family was gonna live. | ||
| That means you're going to survive another day. | ||
| You weren't going to be hungry in the morning. | ||
| And that means your children might be able to carry on and live. | ||
| Because most people died. | ||
| I mean, imagine what it was like living half a million years ago. | ||
| A million years ago. | ||
| Most people didn't survive childhood. | ||
| Yeah, most people. | ||
| And if you did, you probably got eaten by a jaguar. | ||
| That's why everybody's scared of monsters. | ||
| Why are little kids scared of monsters? | ||
| They're not scared of bank robbers and fucking car accidents. | ||
| They're scared of monsters because of some weird fucking memory of cats eating us. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, Rupert Sheldrake talked about that. | ||
| He was talking about this idea of memory that's innately attached to people. | ||
| That's probably the origin of that one. | ||
| The idea of being scared of something with big teeth that hides in the dark. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| It's a cat! | ||
| It's a big cat. | ||
| You think about where we evolved. | ||
| We evolved in a place that's filled with big cats. | ||
| And there's so much evidence that ancient humans and ancient hominids were eaten by cats. | ||
| There's so much evidence. | ||
| Especially something that's quicker than you. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Not just quick. | ||
| Why wouldn't it eat you? | ||
| What are the easiest things to eat? | ||
| We can't even fight back. | ||
| What are we gonna do? | ||
| If we don't have a weapon, we're fucked. | ||
| Yeah, we can build traps. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There was a horrible fucking picture of a little baby monkey clinging to its mother while its mother was in a leopard's mouth. | ||
| So its mother, the leopard has its mother's head like completely crushed in its mouth and it's walking with this dead monkey and the little monkey's like clinging to the body of its mother as it's being carried away. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Right there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bro. | |
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Indeed, man. | ||
| You gotta drop off, son. | ||
| I mean, what do you do? | ||
| It doesn't matter if you drop off. | ||
| You can't go anywhere. | ||
| That's why you're clinging to your mother in the first place. | ||
| That's not the same one, is it? | ||
| It happens, apparently? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or what? | |
| I'm sure it happens. | ||
| The mothers are more vulnerable when they're carrying the baby. | ||
| That's a lot of extra weight. | ||
| Damn, this is sad as fuck, man. | ||
| Look at that picture. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that cat. | |
| Look at what it says. | ||
| Look at that cat looking at that monkey. | ||
| Cunning Leopard uses baby monkey as bait to lure adults towards it. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I can't even look at this. | ||
| Oh my god, that's so demonic. | ||
| But then again, so is Chick-fil-A. True. | ||
| Chick-fil-A's demonic too. | ||
| Somewhere there's a gigantic warehouse filled with chickens stuffed into cages waiting to be turned into sandwiches. | ||
| Just for clarity, this one says that it adopted the baby baboon after it killed its mom. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| He's like, we can use you as bait from now on, son. | ||
| Adopted the baby baboon. | ||
| That's just some animal rights asshole. | ||
| Bullshitting. | ||
| He probably ate it eventually. | ||
| Yeah, all those pictures from the same day. | ||
| Probably wasn't hungry yet. | ||
| Yeah, he wasn't hungry yet. | ||
| He ate its mom. | ||
| Making a bigger meal? | ||
| He's waiting. | ||
| Yeah, why don't you get bigger? | ||
| I'll just hold you. | ||
| You're not going anywhere. | ||
| I'll keep you right here because I get hungry. | ||
| I need a midnight snack. | ||
| He's like, that's the first she to discover farming? | ||
| Yeah, find out how long that fucking baby monkey stayed alive. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| It's licking it. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| I might not even be realistic. | ||
| Photoshop a little bit. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Leopard takes care of baby monkey after hunting his mother. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah, that does look kind of photoshopped, the one you own right now, the big one. | ||
| This is on Facebook, too. | ||
| That's why I'm not giving it credit. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It looks real to me. | ||
| Well, it's bad life. | ||
| I want to believe. | ||
| Like, this one's not. | ||
| What's going on down there? | ||
| Bro, this is real. | ||
| All of it's real. | ||
| That's a real face. | ||
| It's definitely not photoshopped. | ||
| Oh, this one? | ||
| It looks like it's a scene from The Lion King. | ||
| I don't think that's real either. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That's probably real, dude. | ||
| No, bro, that's probably real. | ||
| Look, it's a series of images. | ||
| It's real. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| An American Eagle? | ||
| That one's fake. | ||
| That one's not even in that tree. | ||
| Yeah, that's totally fake. | ||
| That's like a glitch in the Matrix. | ||
| Yeah, fuck living in that world. | ||
| But that's probably why people are afraid of monsters. | ||
| You know, because they know that. | ||
| They know that's possible. | ||
| Yeah, especially like the unknown shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know the Vsauce guy? | ||
| You ever had him on? | ||
| Yeah, I had Vsauce on way back in the day. | ||
| Yeah, but I remember him talking about the difference between terror and horror. | ||
| He has this whole thing with the Uncanny Valley and all of that, but he was talking about how the unknown is horror. | ||
| It's the sound you heard. | ||
| Like you know someone's in the house, but you don't know what it is. | ||
| The terror is like, there's a lion right there. | ||
| But the horror is, what the fuck was that? | ||
| Right, that makes sense. | ||
| Something ran by, what the fuck was it? | ||
| That's why all those classic H.P. Lovecraft shit, that's why you don't see the monster to the end. | ||
| They don't describe him in this very general sense, so you can make it up in your head. | ||
| Well, my favorite monster movie of all time is American Werewolf in London. | ||
| That and Alien, the original Alien. | ||
| And in both of those movies, you don't really get to see the animal or the alien until the end. | ||
| Like, you see flash images of it until late into the movie. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, like, American Werewolf in London, you see a quick glimpse. | ||
| Like, one of the best scenes in the movie was a businessman in the tunnel. | ||
| He's in the subway. | ||
| And this guy's just hanging out, looking at his watch, waiting for the train. | ||
| And then you hear... | ||
| And he's like, what the fuck is that? | ||
| And you see him looking, and he starts talking like, who's there? | ||
| Who's there? | ||
| And then you see him see the werewolf, and you just see him. | ||
| See if you can find that scene. | ||
| Businessman in the subway. | ||
| What do they call it? | ||
| The tube in London? | ||
| And at the end of the scene, the werewolf is at the bottom of the escalator. | ||
| The guy's running up the escalator, drops his briefcase, papers flying everywhere. | ||
| And at the end of the scene, the werewolf just moves into phase. | ||
| Give me some volume on this. | ||
| Is that Christian Bale? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Some regular dude. | ||
| This is 1981 so here's that and this Well this movie's so good John Landis was an absolute animal. | ||
| Imagine hearing that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay, this is what you need to get the fuck up out of there, man. | |
| I shall report this. | ||
| It's so British. | ||
| And then somewhere along the line, he realizes things behind him. | ||
| Watch, he's going up the escalator. | ||
| And then he sees it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And you see he doesn't believe it. | |
| And then the motherfucker's in a full-on panic. | ||
| He's like, what the fuck did I just see? | ||
| And then he goes up the second flight of stairs. | ||
| Then he hears it behind him. | ||
| And then he sees it. | ||
| So you see it from the wolf's eyes as it run towards him. | ||
| This poor fucking guy. | ||
| Meanwhile, he's still got his briefcase. | ||
| Yeah, fuck that briefcase. | ||
| Okay, so hang on that umbrella. | ||
| No cardios. | ||
| Dude, that's zero cardio. | ||
| They're supposed to have that tie off by now. | ||
| I would hold on to the... | ||
| Under a normal circumstance, I would hold on to that fucking... | ||
| You better not pick that shit up. | ||
| Oh my god, he picked up the briefcase. | ||
| He's falling apart. | ||
| He's falling apart. | ||
| No cardio. | ||
| He decided to die. | ||
| This is my favorite scene in the whole movie. | ||
| The guy's climbing up. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Look at that thing coming to play. | ||
| Imagine seeing that. | ||
| See, they didn't show you much. | ||
| They showed you enough. | ||
| Come on, son. | ||
| The tension was crazy. | ||
| It's an amazing scene. | ||
| God, what a fucking dumb guy. | ||
| That's an amazing scene in a horror movie where they didn't have to show you much. | ||
| Rick Baker made the... | ||
| And our old studio in L.A., you never went to the old one, did you? | ||
| No. | ||
| The old one in L.A. had an American werewolf in London that greeted people at the front door. | ||
| Why'd you leave it? | ||
| I'm going to bring it back, but I actually ordered a new one, and the new one, the guy who makes it, Pat McGee, made me... | ||
| He made an even better one. | ||
| That guy... | ||
| You could tell, too, that that guy wasn't even going to fight. | ||
| No, he gave up. | ||
| I'm going to send you a meme, Jamie. | ||
| I don't know what it is, man, but people that have no fight in them, I just... | ||
| Yeah, you're supposed to feel like that. | ||
| Because if you were in a situation with them, if they're a part of your village, and shit went down, and that guy falls apart like that, you're like, you bitch. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Even if the odds are insurmountable, even if it's like Jason Voorhees standing in front of you, you're not even gonna throw a punch? | ||
| Dude, I'd way rather have Jason in front of me than that fucking thing. | ||
| Nah, no, yeah. | ||
| A creature? | ||
| No. | ||
| Jason still has limbs. | ||
| He keeps the mask on. | ||
| He's not even biting you. | ||
| What's he gonna do? | ||
| His mom still makes him cry. | ||
| I feel like if you had like a good solid shotgun, multiple shells, I think you got Jason. | ||
| You just blow his knees apart. | ||
| But even that creature... | ||
| That thing's lunging at you. | ||
| You know you got no chance. | ||
| But you at least gonna kick or spit at something. | ||
| This is a meme that's my dog and the American Werewolf in London. | ||
| They use this picture for so many memes. | ||
| Yeah, meme template. | ||
| Yeah, it's like one of those... | ||
| See, Omicron in reality is my dog, Marshall. | ||
| And Omicron in the media is American Werewolf in London. | ||
| That was the werewolf? | ||
| Yeah, that's what it looks like at my studio. | ||
| And that's Marshall. | ||
| What's crazy to think that that dog on the left, his lineage is a wolf. | ||
| Somewhere in his history, there was a wolf. | ||
| Like, that's what made a dog. | ||
| Just like we came from ancient hominids, they came from wolves. | ||
| But they didn't even come from wolves that long ago. | ||
| That's what's crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, we came from ancient hominids hundreds of thousands of years ago, but dogs? | ||
| When did they come out of wolves? | ||
| I watched some shit recently, I think it was on Netflix, where they were talking about coy wolves. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yes. | ||
| They're a mixed breed between coyotes and wolves. | ||
| Most coyotes are descendants of wolves. | ||
| They're the most clever of wolves. | ||
| They can breed with red wolves. | ||
| They're genetically dissimilar to gray wolves. | ||
| The thing about what happened in America was ranchers and farmers poisoned off the wolves. | ||
| And until they reintroduced them to Yellowstone in the 1990s, there was very few wolves on the West Coast, in the West, the Western wilderness, because they'd killed them all. | ||
| But they never could kill the coyotes. | ||
| Because every time they tried to kill the coyotes, the coyotes would just expand. | ||
| So they expanded their territory over the entire country. | ||
| There's coyotes in every single city in this country. | ||
| Everywhere. | ||
| Everywhere. | ||
| Everyone. | ||
| And the ones you don't see, like every time you see one, there's like 25. But they got that way out of a need to survive against the wolves originally. | ||
| Because when the gray wolves were coming in from Canada and wherever they would meet coyotes, they would kill them. | ||
| So the coyotes had to figure out a way to survive. | ||
| And one of the ways they figured out how to survive is to constantly evolve their territory, constantly expand their territory. | ||
| And then also when one coyote dies, when they do that roll call, when they, yeah, yeah, With one missing, it causes the females to make more babies. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| The females have more pups. | ||
| There's a great book called Coyote America by this guy Dan Flores, who was a professor. | ||
| He taught my friend Steve Rinella, and then Steve introduced me to him, and I had a guest on the podcast. | ||
| But he's an expert in wildlife and the history of wildlife in North America, and that's one of the things that he's fascinated with is a coyote. | ||
| What makes coy wolves so dangerous? | ||
| Well, they're not more dangerous, because a coyote, rather, is a wolf. | ||
| A coy wolf is just a larger version of it, and it's just a hybrid. | ||
| They're bigger than coyotes and smaller than wolves. | ||
| Yeah, it's like a small wolf. | ||
| Well, a coyote is a small wolf, right? | ||
| But a big coyote is like 50 pounds. | ||
| That's big. | ||
| That's a big fucking coyote. | ||
| You see a 50-pound coyote. | ||
| How big do coyotes get? | ||
| I'm guessing that 50 pounds is the range. | ||
| I had that. | ||
| Sorry, I was comparing it to wolves as you were saying. | ||
| I thought it did. | ||
| No, it's like half the size of a wolf. | ||
| Hybrids, but not separate species. | ||
| So there's gray wolf, eastern wolf, red wolf. | ||
| About 20 to 50 pounds? | ||
| Yeah, so a 50-pound coyote is a big-ass coyote. | ||
| 80 to 120-pound wolf, yeah, they get a little bigger. | ||
| Like, you might see a 150-pound wolf, maybe even a little bigger than that, but that's like in Canada. | ||
| There's a thing also that mammals in cold climates tend to be larger than mammals in hot climates. | ||
| That's why the Mexican wolf is a smaller wolf. | ||
| Or a California deer is a good example. | ||
| Texas deer, too. | ||
| Small. | ||
| But Saskatchewan deer, huge. | ||
| More than twice the size. | ||
| A big-ass Saskatchewan buck might be 300 pounds. | ||
| But a Texas buck, if it's 150, that's unusual. | ||
| That's a big-ass deer. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, they're not that big. | ||
| They're little out here. | ||
| Little baby. | ||
| You know anybody that has an actual wolf as a pet? | ||
| It's illegal in a lot of places. | ||
| I knew a guy who had one that was part wolf. | ||
| He had three of them that were part wolf. | ||
| And they were so dangerous. | ||
| They would get out and they would wipe out a nearby ranch or sheep. | ||
| They would get out and just kill eight or nine sheep for a goof. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They get together. | ||
| They were around other animals. | ||
| Like, that's what they love to do. | ||
| Kill them? | ||
| So they find, like, a bunch of sheep that are stuck in a pen. | ||
| They're like, oh shit. | ||
| And they just hopped the pen fence and just tore them apart. | ||
| They killed, like, I think they killed eight or nine of this guy's sheep. | ||
| And they don't listen. | ||
| That's what start them family feuds. | ||
| They're not listening either. | ||
| Where? | ||
| You can't train them? | ||
| Like, sit. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| Like, fuck you. | ||
| They're like cats. | ||
| Somebody told me recently, like, we haven't actually domesticated cats yet. | ||
| Not really. | ||
| I mean, a little bit. | ||
| But a wolf is a different animal, man. | ||
| They're not listening to you. | ||
| They're not listening to you, right? | ||
| No. | ||
| You're their friend. | ||
| You're not their dad. | ||
| You're not the boss. | ||
| It may have been the first guy that got one of them things to fucking listen to. | ||
| And they're like, oh, we gotta breed them. | ||
| We gotta get... | ||
| They definitely listen a little. | ||
| I mean, they listen better than wild wolves. | ||
| Wild wolves just fuck you up. | ||
| And if you raise a wolf, it kind of has a relationship with you. | ||
| But it's never gonna be like a German Shepherd that just listens. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because it's not even about the... | ||
| Because they hear you, but they just don't care about pleasing you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The way like a domesticated dog does. | ||
| You just nailed it. | ||
| That's exactly what it is. | ||
| A regular dog is obsessed with pleasing you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And those dogs, oh my cat, they don't give a fuck if you're happy about anything. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think they literally raised dogs out of wolves where the ones that became dogs were the ones who were compliant. | ||
| They did this thing with, I think it was foxes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| There was a podcast about it on Radiolab, and they were talking about how quickly, within a few generations, of every time they had a fox, they would have these foxes, they were caged foxes, and every time they had a fox, they would reach into the cage, and the fox would growl at them, or snap at them, they'd kill it. | ||
| And so all the ones that lived were the ones who weren't interested in being aggressive. | ||
| And so after a while, their ears started drooping. | ||
| And it's only like a couple years worth of breeding like this. | ||
| Their ears started drooping. | ||
| Their snouts shrunk. | ||
| Their teeth got smaller. | ||
| Their jawbones got weaker. | ||
| Everything changed. | ||
| They literally changed within a couple generations. | ||
| That's how strong the influence of the environment is. | ||
| Are foxes related to wolves? | ||
| It's kind of like a canine, right? | ||
| Some kind of a canine. | ||
| I don't think they're directly related. | ||
| Nobody has pet foxes. | ||
| Really? | ||
| No, I don't think they do. | ||
| But if they do, foxes are probably great pets because they'll play with people in the wild. | ||
| Like that Grizzly Man movie? | ||
| Ever see that movie? | ||
| No. | ||
| Grizzly Man is a movie about a dude who basically committed suicide by a bear. | ||
| It's a Werner Herzog film. | ||
| Yeah, I've heard about it for sure. | ||
| You need to see it. | ||
| I can't believe you haven't seen it. | ||
| It's the craziest movie probably I've ever seen in my life. | ||
| This guy was out of his fucking mind. | ||
| This guy was hanging out with these bears like, I'm protecting these bears. | ||
| No one's protecting these bears. | ||
| This fucking park service, they're not helping these bears. | ||
| The guy was crazy. | ||
| And meanwhile, the bears had no idea he was alive. | ||
| They're just walking around him. | ||
| He's like, I'm here for you. | ||
| I'm here for you, honey. | ||
| Like the bear would take a shit. | ||
| He would pick it up. | ||
| This is, this was just in her body. | ||
| This is her poop. | ||
| He's holding her shit. | ||
| The guy was out of his fucking mind. | ||
| And eventually the bears killed him and ate him. | ||
| This was in your body? | ||
| Bro, you have to see it. | ||
| That's funny as shit. | ||
| One of my favorite scenes in the movie, there was an old sheriff. | ||
| And the old sheriff was talking about, you know, Werner Herzog, who's like, I guess he's German. | ||
| Is he German? | ||
| Where's Werner Herzog from? | ||
| But he has this way of talking, and he is the narrator. | ||
| And he's talking to the sheriff. | ||
| This is how he's narrating. | ||
| And the sheriff goes, I thought he was retarded! | ||
|
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|
And when the sheriff says that, he's like, no! | |
| No! | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| And then they talk to the guy who scared the bear off of his body. | ||
| The guy was flying over in a plane and looked down and saw his rib cage, and the bear was digging through his... | ||
| We saw the white of his rib cage, and the bear was just digging out his organs and eating through the rib cage. | ||
| Now, why did you say suicide by a bear? | ||
| You being... | ||
| Because the guy shouldn't have fucking been there. | ||
| Like, he stayed there overnight. | ||
| He's camped with bears. | ||
| He's camped in a place called... | ||
| It's called Grizzly Maze. | ||
| He camped in the grizzly maze. | ||
| So he's hanging out with the most unthreatened predators in terms of like, what's going to fuck with a grizzly? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Not a thing in the woods other than a bigger grizzly. | ||
| So they're completely unchecked. | ||
| They do whatever the fuck they want. | ||
| And he was in a place where you're not supposed to be once they hibernate. | ||
| Because the thing is, if you go to the place where the bears live, And there's a bear that's still roaming around. | ||
| He hasn't hibernated yet. | ||
| It's past the time. | ||
| That means he's starving. | ||
| That means he's probably getting old. | ||
| And maybe his teeth don't work good anymore. | ||
| Or maybe he can't run after the fish anymore. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| He hasn't got enough food. | ||
| So he'll eat anything. | ||
| So he looked at that dude. | ||
| He's like, oh, here we go. | ||
| And he killed him and killed his girlfriend. | ||
| See, I've always been must-told this story. | ||
| I thought it was like bears that he lived with, like a pack of bears that betrayed him. | ||
| Well, he thought he was living with them. | ||
| He was just living near them. | ||
| Like, they weren't his friend. | ||
| He like, Coco's my friend. | ||
| She's my friend. | ||
| Like, he was this crazy guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And... | |
| And he seemed like, I don't know if he was homosexual or heterosexual, but he talked like a very effeminate gay man. | ||
| And then he would say crazy things like, I don't know why I don't have a girlfriend. | ||
| I wish I was gay. | ||
| It'd be so much easier. | ||
| If I was gay, I'd just find a guy. | ||
| But I'm not gay. | ||
| And you're like, who says that? | ||
| Like, what is this movie? | ||
| Like he's talking to the bears? | ||
| Just so y'all know. | ||
| But he's walking around with these cameras. | ||
| But Werner Herzog left that in the film. | ||
| Like, he knew what he was doing. | ||
| Werner Herzog's a brilliant director. | ||
| He knew what he was doing. | ||
| He was making a comedy. | ||
| It's like an unintentional comedy about a crazy guy who lives with bears. | ||
| And you think that he... | ||
| Do you think he knew he was going to die? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I think you had to know that you can't sustain that. | ||
| How long are you going to keep living with grizzly bears, bro? | ||
| Eventually they're going to realize they're going to eat you. | ||
| I mean, it was a bad idea from the jump. | ||
| Dude, he would find cubs that were eaten by the boars. | ||
| So big males would eat cubs. | ||
| So this is a place where... | ||
| You know, hundreds or even thousands of bears. | ||
| I don't know what the population of bears was but there's a lot of bears in the fucking movie. | ||
| A lot of bears in the movie. | ||
| But it's a great documentary. | ||
| It's a fascinating take on human nature because this guy has got it in his head that he's protecting these bears. | ||
| But the reality of that whole area of Alaska is like there's plenty of bears, man. | ||
| And they actually have to keep the bear populations in check because if they don't, the bears, like the one that ate him, run out of food. | ||
| And they either attack people or they attack other bears. | ||
| They eat cubs. | ||
| That whole ecosystem needs to be managed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I recently went to the aquarium and they have the little shark thing but it wasn't Because I'm fascinated with those apex predators. | ||
| Nothing's fucking with me. | ||
| That's the only part I was disappointed about. | ||
| I thought I was going to see a motherfucker like that. | ||
| You know they can't keep a great white in captivity? | ||
| Why? | ||
| They die. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think one aquarium in Japan has recently kept a great white in captivity for an extended period of time, and I think they might be the first ever. | ||
| What do they die of? | ||
| I might have just made that up. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| They just can't be contained in captivity. | ||
| They go crazy. | ||
| They die. | ||
| The longest one's ever been in captivity is 198 days, according to this. | ||
| What? | ||
| Less than a year? | ||
| Was that in Japan? | ||
| I didn't know. | ||
| I didn't get that far yet. | ||
| Do they kill themselves or run into the cage? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| They don't live, though. | ||
| Monterey Bay? | ||
| Oh, that was up there? | ||
| That's where they live. | ||
| Well, Monterey Bay is not Southern California, right? | ||
| Isn't that Northern California? | ||
| Transported the shark from Southern California where it was caught. | ||
| Oh, to Monterey Bay. | ||
| Yeah, there's a shitload of them up in Northern California. | ||
| Like all around San Francisco and all up there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sharks? | |
| Grey whites? | ||
| Yeah, great whites are all over the place up there. | ||
| They put it back. | ||
| They released it back to the wild. | ||
| Oh, interesting. | ||
| After it attacked and killed two non-grey white sharks that were in captivity with it. | ||
| So they had it alive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Interesting. | |
| So it says the main reason why they are unable to be contained is they are nomadic and are adapted to travel incredibly long distances. | ||
| Because of this, they struggle in small tanks. | ||
| So what happens to them if they put them in small tanks? | ||
| Do they just stop eating? | ||
| They give up? | ||
| This thing doesn't say. | ||
| They might have some very, very minuscule level of self-awareness. | ||
| Because the smaller fish, I think they don't realize that they're in a tank. | ||
| But the shark knows, like, this is what I saw yesterday. | ||
| This is what I saw yesterday. | ||
| That's what a bad motherfucker Steven Spielberg was, or is. | ||
| For Jaws. | ||
| One fucking movie changed the way people thought about a fish. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nobody was that scared of sharks before Jaws. | ||
| Jaws changed. | ||
| I saw that on Betamax. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, it was like I was at an aunt's house or something. | ||
| That shit scared the shit out of me. | ||
| It should. | ||
| Sharks are crazy. | ||
| And now to go back and look at the behind the scenes and look how they did it all. | ||
| It's like to think about how they thought up what to... | ||
| Because Steven Spielberg is one of those dudes that like he wasn't listening to people. | ||
| He's a genius. | ||
| He doesn't have to. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta have that. | ||
| Those are the people that drag everything forward. | ||
| What does it say here? | ||
| Oh, 2016, an aquarium in Japan, that's it, displayed an 11-foot shark that had been caught in a fisherman's net. | ||
| The shark lasted only three days before dying. | ||
| Okay, so this was in 2016. But the Monterey one, it was a lot longer than that, huh? | ||
| 2004. Oh, 2004? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So they just don't make it very long in captivity, huh? | ||
| Yeah, it just says they just end up stopped swimming and they need to be pushed along. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| They just quit. | ||
| They just quit. | ||
| They're like, what the fuck is the point? | ||
| They quit like that dude in the tube with the werewolf. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| They just give up. | ||
| That feels like me in my last job before I just did comedy. | ||
| But isn't that important? | ||
| Do you have jobs like that? | ||
| Do you remember? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Dude, I'll never forget the night. | ||
| You know Derek Poston? | ||
| Yeah, very well. | ||
| Derek has no hair now. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| I didn't even recognize him. | ||
| I didn't even recognize him. | ||
| I didn't even show up out there, dude. | ||
| You're looking good. | ||
| Looking good. | ||
| But he, this is when, like, because he moved to San Diego, like, right after me. | ||
| I mean, right after I started, like, a year after. | ||
| And we were cool, but we started, this is the night that I was like, this dude's my bro. | ||
| Because he, I didn't have to even say anything to him. | ||
| He came to my job. | ||
| At this time, I had quit the comedy club, and I was just a bar back at this Irish pub called Rosie O'Grady's. | ||
| And it was the night of St. Paddy's Day. | ||
| So it was just a swamp. | ||
| I had worked my ass off. | ||
| And right before we closed, one of the bartenders broke a glass in the well. | ||
| So where they get the ice from. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| And because of the way this place was set up, it was like old school. | ||
| I had to go to the hot water heater. | ||
| So the only hot water spigot was in the women's room. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| So I had to hold up the bathroom line in the women's room. | ||
| Get a bucket of hot water. | ||
| To get enough buckets of hot water to melt all the ice and then go always to the back of the building and grab buckets of ice to replace it like in the middle of the last call. | ||
| And make sure that you got all of it so you didn't get a fucking chunk of ice in your drink. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta melt all the ice and then wipe it out thoroughly and then go over that motherfucker with a flashlight to make sure there's no chunks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| And so, boom, so we finally get all those motherfuckers out there, and Derek's my ride, right? | ||
| And every now and then, you know, they let my ride come in and wait for me, right, while we're closing down. | ||
| And so, you know, I get my little shifty, you know, but I'm cleaning the place. | ||
| And I finally open it back up, and the last lady that went in the women's room, she shit all over the place. | ||
| And so his last call, we pushed everybody out the building, and Derek's sitting at the bar. | ||
| And somebody goes, hey, Brian, somebody shit all over the women's room. | ||
| So this is the part I'm leaving now. | ||
| So keep in mind, the night before, I just murdered at the comedy club. | ||
| And so Brian, somebody shit in the women's room, and it was this look of just despair on my face. | ||
| And I met Oz with Derek, and he was like, it ain't gonna be for long, dawg. | ||
| It ain't going to be for long. | ||
| Because I didn't even have to explain it to him. | ||
| Because it's like that feeling of knowing like I could be the man. | ||
| I have it. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But I'm someone shit in the women's room. | ||
| So now I'm this. | ||
| It's that thing of people walking out going, I loved your stuff. | ||
| You were so funny. | ||
| And then someone shit in the women's room. | ||
| And it's like... | ||
| Fuck! | ||
| How long? | ||
| But isn't that a beautiful little moment in life that you can remember forever? | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Like the moment where you knew that this had to end. | ||
| We still talk about it to this day. | ||
| Because it was. | ||
| That was the moment when it was like, yo, if you just get packed, if you can stick it out, you'll be fine. | ||
| And I believed it, you know? | ||
| I'm just like, yeah, those moments are important. | ||
| They're important. | ||
| You already had the thing, though. | ||
| The thing is being funny. | ||
| And that's the, some people don't have the thing. | ||
| Yeah, well, see, my thing, I was never not confident that I was funny. | ||
| My lack of confidence is, it was in whether funny mattered. | ||
| Like, how funny do I have to be before it matters? | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Before I win the contest, before I get the thing. | ||
| Right, before you get the recognition. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That was always a problem in the early days, man. | ||
| Everybody was so thirsty. | ||
| Everybody in the early days of comedy, I mean like my generation from open mic to being professional, everyone was so thirsty. | ||
| And when you started getting work, you just were so desperado to get more work. | ||
| Everybody was just desperate to bridge that barrier between an amateur and a professional. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Quickly. | |
| As quickly as you can. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I gotta make some money. | ||
| I gotta do this. | ||
| Like, even when you had no business getting paid, everybody was convinced that they were ready. | ||
| Yeah, you always think that beforehand. | ||
| That's why it's also important to save those old sets. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| God, I have some from the 90s that'll make my fucking hair stand up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, there's some I thought was fire. | ||
| They're terrible. | ||
| And I go back now and I'm like, oh no, this could never see the light of day. | ||
| Isn't it interesting when you watch an open mic or someone who's new who has quick premises? | ||
| They don't know how to get out of a premise and expand yet. | ||
| And you see those little baby steps. | ||
| You see if someone plays a video game and they're bumping into the wall. | ||
| They don't know how to navigate yet. | ||
| And every then and then you see them do a move and you're like... | ||
| It's like in the beginning, you're button mashing. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You don't know how to do the combo, but every now and then you're just hitting the buttons and you pull some shit off. | ||
| But you might have one or two ideas that are pretty good. | ||
| And people listen to the premise and they're like, ah! | ||
| Because I didn't understand that when I started. | ||
| When OGs would walk up and be like, You know, you got something. | ||
| You got something. | ||
| Just keep doing it. | ||
| But that's the darkest thing about thieves. | ||
| Because the darkest thing about thieves is they would come and watch the open micers. | ||
| And they would find those gems. | ||
| They would sit in the back of the open mic room for four or five hours. | ||
| We don't have to name any names. | ||
| But watch over and over and over again all these people coming up and take their best ideas. | ||
| Can you imagine if you're sitting there, and you're starting out as a comedian, maybe you're a bartender somewhere or whatever, and you get a couple nights off a week, and you got a dream, you're trying to make it, and you do a few open mics, and then you do an open mic, and the next thing you know, you're watching your shit on Comedy Central. | ||
| And you're like, what the fuck? | ||
| And that's your best bit. | ||
| I can't even imagine. | ||
| That happened to me. | ||
| Somebody stole a bit. | ||
| I don't think they did it intentionally. | ||
| But it was like word for word. | ||
| It wasn't like something we both thought of. | ||
| It couldn't have been. | ||
| It was like the same thing. | ||
| I ended up writing a better joke. | ||
| I ended up writing a better joke about the same thing because of it. | ||
| Because I was just like, I got to let this go because it's going to drive me crazy. | ||
| People make mistakes. | ||
| You think you heard something before or you think you haven't heard something before and you have. | ||
| I've done that. | ||
| You realize, oh shit, that's someone else's bit. | ||
| Or you're on stage halfway through it like, oh wait a minute. | ||
| I've been there too. | ||
| I've had people have to tell me that that bit is a bit that I heard before. | ||
| I'm like, oh no. | ||
| But these are honest mistakes. | ||
| There's a difference between that, like a failed memory, and then someone who will sit and cherry pick your act. | ||
| Cherry pick people's acts. | ||
| Because there was a lot of people in the 90s in particular that did just that. | ||
| Imagine being that That goes back to what we were talking about with no shame. | ||
| Imagine having no... | ||
| It's terrible. | ||
| No ambition to actually be good at what you're doing. | ||
| Well, it's also... | ||
| It is 100% a signal to everyone around you. | ||
| You don't give a fuck about anybody but yourself. | ||
| Like, you're in this thing, and there was a time where that was how a lot of comedians behaved, where there wasn't the kind of camaraderie that we all enjoy now. | ||
| I think the camaraderie of, like, this generation and the generation just previous, where they started to wake up and realize this, like, we're... | ||
| Way more similar to each other. | ||
| We're in the rest of Hollywood. | ||
| We need to stay together. | ||
| We need to support each other and we need to appreciate each other. | ||
| We got into this because we're fans of comedy. | ||
| You get to hang out with the funniest people on the planet. | ||
| You should just be enjoying it. | ||
| Yeah, you should. | ||
| You gotta figure out how to manage your own emotions and your own jealousy and your own narcissism to not think about other people's success as somehow or another being detrimental to you. | ||
| That's the difference between people that are strong and people that give in to that very base instinct. | ||
| And it's not just being funny, too. | ||
| We're spoiled in just the intellectual stimulation. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've been in green rooms where it's like this conversation couldn't have happened anywhere else. | ||
| It's like two or three of the best thinkers in the world. | ||
| You know, comics aren't, you know, maybe they're not the best thinkers in the whole world, but they always have an angle that you didn't think of, like especially the OGs. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They always, like you've been around like Ron, you have Ron White right here and, you know, another big name right here and you in the back and just listening to the conversation. | ||
| And y'all are talking about You know, fucking World War II or some shit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it's like you hear all these interesting perspectives. | ||
| It's like we're spoiled like that. | ||
| We are. | ||
| You know who knows a shitload about World War II? Shane Gillis. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| That motherfucker is a historian. | ||
| He knows so much, man. | ||
| He turned me on to this book that I can't even read. | ||
| It's so hardcore. | ||
| I just met him. | ||
| Dude, it's about the starvation and cannibalism during World War II. It's rough. | ||
| I'll tell you exactly what the name of it is so you freaks out there can go and torture yourselves. | ||
| See, it's crazy just like you said, but when I filmed the special, it was in New York. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the New York comics just showed me love. | ||
| All the funny people, when they know you're funny, Yes. | ||
| It's like, get the fuck in here. | ||
| That is true. | ||
| That is one beautiful thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| When comedians know you're funny. | ||
| This is not that many of us. | ||
| It's called Captured. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| It's a different one. | ||
| Now, that's the one that Hank told me about. | ||
| That's good, too. | ||
| Whoops. | ||
| How long have we been talking? | ||
| Too long. | ||
| We should probably wrap this up soon. | ||
| I think, like, three hours in. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah, we're over. | ||
| Is it between two fires or... | ||
| No? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Well, let me find it because it's recent. | ||
| I know that it's in here somewhere. | ||
| I think he suggested it to me and I could never bring myself to reading it because he scared me just in the description of it. | ||
| Fuck, what is it called? | ||
| Starvation and what was the other thing you said? | ||
| No, the other one was Captured and that's the one that Hank turned me on to. | ||
| It's not Bloodlands. | ||
| Oh, yeah, that is. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Is this a fiction or nonfiction? | ||
| No, it's nonfiction. | ||
| It's called Bloodlands. | ||
| It's in Europe between Hitler and Stalin. | ||
| And it's all about, you know, when Stalin was in power, there was a tremendous amount of cannibalism. | ||
| And Lex Friedman has actually talked a lot about this as well because he's Russian and he knows a lot about this, the history of when Stalin was ruling and literally starved their people. | ||
| But in this... | ||
| In this book apparently there's some horrific depictions of children cannibalizing other children. | ||
|
unidentified
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Why? | |
| They were starving to death. | ||
| In Japan? | ||
| In Stalin, Russia. | ||
| Oh, in Russia. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was telling me about it and I was like, I can't even listen to this. | ||
| It was so wild and so horrible and so dark and also so recent. | ||
| When you think about people cannibalizing people because they're starving to death and you realize it was only 80 years ago, you're like, what? | ||
|
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Eight years ago. | |
| It was only eight years ago. | ||
| You're like, what are you saying? | ||
| Because when society break down, all it would take is one power grid outage to go unprepared for just, I say a month before society collapsed. | ||
| There was a time out here last year where all the power went out for a lot of people. | ||
| Oh yeah, during that winter storm. | ||
| Yeah, very strange. | ||
| Yeah, and then the fucking companies, the power companies were jacking up the prices. | ||
| Worse, worse. | ||
| Hotels were jacking up the prices of rooms, like really jacking them up, where people had no power and they had no water. | ||
| And so they were trying to get hotel rooms and they were charging like $1,000 a night for a fucking regular bullshit-ass room at a motel. | ||
| And people were furious. | ||
|
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Jesus. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the darkness of people when they try to capitalize on horrific events. | ||
| The brightness of people is when you hear about people. | ||
| Like, there was a guy who brought his rig to Kansas. | ||
| He's got a barbecue rig. | ||
| Did you see that? | ||
| Made the news. | ||
| And he started feeding everybody. | ||
| He's like, all these people lost everything. | ||
| He goes, I felt compelled. | ||
| And he brought this big-ass barbecue rig. | ||
| And he went down there and started cooking for people and giving them free food. | ||
| But when was he in the meat? | ||
| He brought it with him too? | ||
| He brought everything with him. | ||
| He's like, I'm going to go feed people. | ||
| His instinct when these people got hit by a hurricane or a tornado was to go down there and feed people. | ||
| So he was a barbecue guy. | ||
| He has this big ass rig. | ||
| Look at that thing behind him, that huge smoker. | ||
| So that dude went there and he just cooked for people. | ||
| He look like he don't take no shit. | ||
| Well, you know what? | ||
| You need people like that in this world. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| Did he try to run for office? | ||
| His name is Jim Finch, a man who for no other reason other than that people were in need, he loaded up his truck with food, water, and a barbecue grill and drove to Mayfield to serve others. | ||
| That is a beautiful thing. | ||
| That's a beautiful thing. | ||
|
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So that means they don't have no electric, no restaurants, no running water, so... | |
| I just figured I'd do what I can do. | ||
| Show up with some food and some water. | ||
| How beautiful is that? | ||
| And look behind him. | ||
|
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Yeah, that's awesome. | |
| Look at that fucking ground behind him. | ||
| I've never experienced a tornado, but I gotta imagine that is one of the fucking scariest things you could ever experience. | ||
| Where the sky becomes an angry monster and starts destroying buildings. | ||
| And especially because they're so huge that they don't look like they're moving fast. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like one of the motherfuckers changing your direction and it's on you. | ||
| There's nothing you can do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you see that one? | ||
| The images that they took of this one that destroyed Kentucky? | ||
| No. | ||
|
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Bro. | |
| You look at the size of this thing. | ||
| It is so big. | ||
| It looks like multiple city blocks. | ||
| I mean, like New York City blocks. | ||
| Multiple blocks of just swirling, picking up cows and trees and houses. | ||
|
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Fucking terrifying. | |
| And you can't get away. | ||
| Where are you going to go? | ||
| You have to drive through the cornfield. | ||
| You're going to hope that it doesn't turn. | ||
| You hope that you don't run into woods right when it turns. | ||
| You get stuck outside and get thrown through the air. | ||
| You think one of these things we figure out how to make them turn? | ||
| What makes them happen? | ||
| Then assholes come out. | ||
| And all these assholes were saying all these fucking crazy things like somehow it's responsible for those people because those people vote against climate change. | ||
| I'm like, what are you saying? | ||
| And they're like, this is what happens when people ignore nature. | ||
| No, you're wrong. | ||
| You're wrong. | ||
| They've always had these things. | ||
| In fact, the number of severe tornadoes has actually dropped over the last few years. | ||
| The number of tornadoes has risen, but the number of severe tornadoes like this one apparently has dropped. | ||
| I was reading this scientific- So they're more common, but not as deadly. | ||
| But it could be deadly. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| It's like at any moment, there's no real pattern. | ||
| Like a tornado, if there was, they would know when tornadoes were coming. | ||
| I mean, they kind of do a little bit. | ||
| They have some alarms they sound, but they don't know when these motherfuckers are coming. | ||
| Hurricanes are way easier to spot. | ||
| Hurricanes, they see them forming. | ||
| Are they up or down? | ||
| Well, hurricanes form over ocean, and hurricanes will make their way across the bay. | ||
| Jesus Christ, look what it did, dude. | ||
| Oh my God, look at that. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's fucking insane. | ||
| I would want to go to all the houses that stayed up and go, who built that? | ||
| Let me talk to that dude. | ||
| Yeah, this drone is a beast. | ||
| Look at that fucking devastation, man. | ||
| Look at the devastation of those houses. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| Dozens dead after most of your tornadoes. | ||
| Not just dozens dead, but everything's destroyed. | ||
| Look at all the houses. | ||
| Who's moving back there? | ||
| How are you going to move back there? | ||
| Think about all those people that are displaced. | ||
| Even if they got out of there before the tornado got there, where do they go now? | ||
| They lost everything. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| I mean, don't we have a government agency for that? | ||
| Yeah, it's FEMA. Oh yeah, they're bad at it. | ||
| FEMA. I mean, they're not bad at it. | ||
| It's just like, when something like this happens, like, what the fuck are they gonna do? | ||
| I mean, they can only do so much. | ||
| They can only give you so much food and shelter, and they do their best to try to help people, but... | ||
| But there's images, Jamie, of the actual tornado itself. | ||
| They're so inefficient. | ||
| It's in the middle of the night, right? | ||
| I only saw images. | ||
| I saw a video of a picture. | ||
| It was just being lit up by lightning, so you could only see it when the lightning was hitting. | ||
| It was only in the middle of the night? | ||
| That's even scarier. | ||
| Imagine you're sleeping, and the alarm... | ||
|
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I ain't got it. | |
| Yeah, here we go. | ||
| You got it? | ||
|
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Look at the size of that fucking thing. | |
| So imagine you're outside, you're hanging out with your friends, just fucking barbecuing and shit, and the light crackles from lightning, and you look over, you see that coming, and you're like, oh my god. | ||
| Dozens killed by tornadoes across six states just rolled through. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
|
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Jesus. | |
| My god, it's so big. | ||
| And you can only see it when the lightning strikes? | ||
| Oh my god, you'd be so terrified. | ||
| That's like the wolf in that scene, like... | ||
| Right, but you don't know where it is like the wolf in that scene. | ||
|
unidentified
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You're right. | |
| Is it coming towards us? | ||
| Is it... | ||
| Is it running away from us? | ||
| Where do we go? | ||
| What if we drive into it by accident? | ||
|
unidentified
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It's getting really bad. | |
| Close. | ||
| And so... | ||
| I thought... | ||
| There was a video I saw where the guy was like filming it himself and he's like talking to someone. | ||
| Look at that, though. | ||
| That's the scariest shit you can see, bro. | ||
| And you don't know how fast it's going because it's so big. | ||
| I mean, it might be going 50 miles an hour and you feel okay. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| I'm fine. | ||
| Well, the next lightning striking is right in front of your ass. | ||
| Imagine if you have to get home and get your kids. | ||
| Imagine if your kids are over that way. | ||
| You got to drive that one. | ||
| You got to hope you time it right. | ||
| Or you don't. | ||
| Or you don't go home. | ||
| But you know what? | ||
| You have to. | ||
| You have to die with your kids. | ||
| You either save your kids or you die with your kids. | ||
| And on that happy note... | ||
|
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Merry Christmas, motherfuckers. | |
| Brian Simpson's Netflix special is out right now. | ||
| It's fucking hilarious. | ||
| I watched some clips, one bit that I hadn't seen you do before that was hilarious about the Penny's bit. | ||
| I don't want to give it away. | ||
| It's fucking genius. | ||
| No, it's on my Instagram now. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| That's where I saw it. | ||
| It's genius. | ||
| You're a funny motherfucker. | ||
| We're going to be tonight at the Vulcan. | ||
| I'm very excited. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| You're the shit, man. | ||
| I'm very happy to see you blowing up. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| There it is right there. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Tell everybody your Instagram. | ||
| My Instagram is BSComedian. | ||
| Twitter, same shit? | ||
| Same shit, BS Comedian. | ||
| And do you have a YouTube page? | ||
| Yes, Brian Simpson. | ||
| That's it? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yep. | |
| Goodbye, everybody. |
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