Feb. 23, 2021 - The Joe Rogan Experience
04:13:23
Participants
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
The Joe Rogan Experience. | |
| Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. | ||
| You know why they got rid of it, right? | ||
| Why? | ||
| Black people. | ||
| Really? | ||
| That's why they got rid of it? | ||
| Hold these thoughts. | ||
| Hold these thoughts. | ||
| Tell me one. | ||
| You good? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| But Roland, did he get that already? | ||
| Oh, Jamie already got that. | ||
| Alright, so let's finish your thought. | ||
| Yeah, so the reason the.45 caliber bullet exists and the reason they made cocaine illegal is because when blacks were working the docks in the late 1800s, early 1900s, They had these things. | ||
| There was a rape, obviously. | ||
| That's what always happens, right? | ||
| Emmett Till, all of them, right? | ||
| So a woman reported a rape and a cop came up. | ||
| There was a black dude on cocaine because they would give the dock workers cocaine to keep him up all night. | ||
| That's when it was legal. | ||
| And then there was a coked up black dude, right? | ||
| Real big dude, I guess. | ||
| And a woman was saying, he's chasing me, right? | ||
| And he was just... | ||
| I don't know what the fuck was going on, but the cop was shooting at him and there was no stopping power enough except for the bullet. | ||
| So they'd make a bigger bullet The.45 caliber bullet, because what they're using, like, a little over a.22. | ||
| Damn, and you know, this is some real shit, because this is a crackhead back in the day. | ||
| I shot that nigga nine times with a Tech-9, and he kept running down the alley. | ||
| Different. | ||
| Different crack, though. | ||
| Different coke. | ||
| That was coke. | ||
| This was coke. | ||
| Medicinal cocaine. | ||
| Coking crack, according to Karl Hart, they're the same thing. | ||
| They are the same thing. | ||
| Really? | ||
| One just has baking soda. | ||
| That's all. | ||
| You're just freeing the base of the powder. | ||
| That's why it's called free base. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| They should probably make it famous, yeah. | ||
| But crack is different. | ||
| Cocaine crazed Negroes. | ||
| That's what they called them. | ||
| The difference is in sentencing. | ||
| That's the difference. | ||
| The difference in sentencing is crazy. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Didn't Obama change that shit? | ||
| Somebody must. | ||
| I hope. | ||
| I don't believe it's the same anymore. | ||
| I think Obama changed it. | ||
| I want to say he did, but I don't know. | ||
| Let's find out if the same sentencing for crack... | ||
| You know, that's the same shit they did with marijuana. | ||
| When William Randolph Hearst was trying to make marijuana illegal, they put out these stories saying that black and Mexicans were raping white women, and they blamed it on this drug, they blamed it on marijuana, when marijuana wasn't even called marijuana back then. | ||
| The marijuana was a wild Mexican tobacco. | ||
| So they made this new name. | ||
| So when Congress was making marijuana illegal, they didn't even know they were making hemp illegal. | ||
| What the target was, was hemp the commodity. | ||
| They were trying to make the paper illegal, and they were trying to make the textiles illegal. | ||
| Because William Randolph Hearst, not only did he run Hearst newspapers, but he also had paper mills. | ||
| And then on the popular science magazine on the cover, it said, hemp, the new billion-dollar crop. | ||
| Because they came up with a new way of processing it, a new machine called a decorticator. | ||
| And so when they invented this decorticator, it was exactly the same kind of thing. | ||
| And then when they invented this thing, people were all going to start growing hemp, and hemp is superior paper, it's better for clothing. | ||
| And William Randolph Hearst was like, not so fast! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So he made it all illegal so that he could just keep his paper mills and keep making them with wood and keep using all the things that he's already used before and controlling the industry. | ||
| That's amazing that they could literally just say that about black people. | ||
| They're raping everybody. | ||
| Well, we got to get rid of it then. | ||
| Well, they made up a name for the plant. | ||
| The plant already had cannabis. | ||
| So they called it marijuana. | ||
| It was like, oh my God, like bath salts. | ||
| Like, oh, geez, it's a new thing. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| PCP. You know PCP is the same thing as ketamine? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I didn't know that either. | ||
| Yeah, ketamine. | ||
| Special K. When I went to Australia, that's all the bitches was snorting. | ||
| They ain't had no real cocaine. | ||
| But it's a tranquilizer. | ||
| They were storing all ketamine. | ||
| They said, you want some coke? | ||
| I said, that ain't real coke. | ||
| I said, we are all the way in Australia. | ||
| We are thousands of miles from Colombia. | ||
| You don't have real cocaine here. | ||
| I don't believe it. | ||
| They don't get real cocaine in Australia? | ||
| Nah, nah. | ||
| They snort in Special K. Really? | ||
| Yes, ketamine. | ||
| What about the UK? Because every time I go out there, they always have coke. | ||
| But I'm like, there's no way. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| All the big Colombian drug dealers, they ain't fucking with America no more. | ||
| They going to Europe. | ||
| It's easier. | ||
| Easier to import the drugs. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, they're making way more money. | ||
| And you get less time. | ||
| When I was locked up in Europe, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| For that bullshit I was locked up for. | ||
| Yeah, that's crazy. | ||
| Like... | ||
| It was guys in the cell that was there on drug offenses. | ||
| And I'd be like, damn, how much you get called for? | ||
| They're like, man, I got called with like four keys. | ||
| And I'm like, damn. | ||
| I'm like, well, how much time you about to get? | ||
| He's like 18 months. | ||
| I'm like, what? | ||
| The way it should be. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| But you get called that over here. | ||
| You're doing 18 years. | ||
| Keller Winslow Jr. is getting 14 years for rape. | ||
| Who is? | ||
| Kellen Winslow Jr. Kellen Winslow's son, right? | ||
| He played for Miami. | ||
| He raped somebody. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He gave me rapey vibes. | |
| He raped a homeless woman. | ||
| In their 50s. | ||
| Give them 20 years. | ||
| Yeah, he got 14. He should. | ||
| I'm saying, bro, it should be 30. It shouldn't be like, you know, because if you, yeah, if I go at four kilos, I'm probably going to jail for 30 years. | ||
| Definitely, for sure. | ||
| See what I mean? | ||
| But if I rape a woman, three women, I'm going for 14 years. | ||
| Yeah, the thing about kilos is- And they'll get rid of cocaine. | ||
| The other thing about kilos is, like, it's only valuable if somebody wants to buy it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Right? | ||
| Like, somebody has to want it. | ||
| Like, you're not really doing anything wrong. | ||
| You're just getting something to them that they want. | ||
| You're not really hurting them. | ||
| No. | ||
| I'm enabling them. | ||
| Yeah, you're allowing them to do coke. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And how many, I mean, if you were just doing coke, that's the thing. | ||
| The thing about coke is like, if you're just doing coke, like real coke, not all this cut up shit. | ||
| This is the other thing that Dr. Carl Hart, he's actually a professor at Columbia. | ||
| The dude that does heroin? | ||
| Does heroin, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen that shit. | ||
| I was like, what the fuck? | ||
| He said, I'm functional. | ||
| Interesting guy. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Because he's, first of all, he wasn't doing any drugs at all until in his 30s when he was a research scientist. | ||
| Word! | ||
| And he realized while he was studying these chemicals that all the propaganda we're spreading about him is all bullshit. | ||
| So he started trying them. | ||
| I mean, everything's better in moderation, man. | ||
| How is this open? | ||
| This thing's crafting. | ||
| Yeah, and they just pull it up. | ||
| So this is your friend's vodka? | ||
| Yeah, Neff's vodka. | ||
| I mean, I'm not a big vodka guy. | ||
| This is very complicated. | ||
| Yeah, no, just twist it off, twist it off there. | ||
| So you get it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| A little baby dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| It did turn into a little baby dick. | ||
| It does. | ||
| Yeah, so Neff Vodka, they tout themselves as the best tasting vodka, and I was like, whatever, man, I'm not a vodka guy, you know. | ||
| I remember being... | ||
| A kid drink that charcoal filter pop off and stuff. | ||
| Well, one thing that I did read on YouTube, or read on YouTube, listen how stupid I am. | ||
| One thing I did watch on YouTube is that you could take shit vodka and run it through one of them Brita water filters multiple times, and apparently it'll taste great. | ||
| Yeah, they said the main goddamn ingredient in this shit is water. | ||
| Yeah, that's Austrian water. | ||
| Yeah, so that's why it's really good. | ||
| Oh, Austrian water. | ||
| Austria got some good-ass water. | ||
| Thank you, sir. | ||
| Cheers, brother. | ||
| I can't even lie. | ||
| Austria got some good ass water. | ||
| I was locked up over there in the jail and I was drinking water out the goddamn tap because they told me the water come from the Alps or the Swiss Alps. | ||
| Glacial water. | ||
| It's good water. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can't even lie. | |
| Better than anything else they got. | ||
| They got some good ass water. | ||
| The food was bullshit but the water was amazing. | ||
| What kind of food they have up there? | ||
| There's a lot of pork sausages and stupid shit. | ||
| Things to keep you warm. | ||
| Warm food. | ||
| It wasn't right. | ||
| The jail food was bad. | ||
| Yeah, they got some chefs up in there. | ||
| Some Wolfgang Puck. | ||
| Freddie, you were my soundtrack this morning in the gym. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| It was great. | ||
| Which song? | ||
| Everything. | ||
| I've listened to The Essentials on iTunes. | ||
| Woo! | ||
| Turn it up. | ||
| Shout out Apple Music. | ||
| Hour and a half of Freddie Gibbs. | ||
| It was beautiful. | ||
| Yeah, we were hanging out with Willie D of the Ghetto Boys and I was telling you, I was like, man, you gotta listen to this album. | ||
| It's Alfredo shit. | ||
| Willie D? Yeah, Willie D. You had Willie D bumping my shit? | ||
| No, but he knows about... | ||
| I mean, you tell the story, Joe. | ||
| I love Willie D. Willie D is one of my... | ||
| That's one of my heroes growing up. | ||
| Word. | ||
| Like, I wanted to slap a bitch like Willie D. As a kid, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| When he said, I make big money, I drive big cars, everybody know me. | ||
| It's like I'm a movie star. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| That's one of the best rap verses of all time. | ||
| I met him at the Houston Improv when we were hanging out. | ||
| That was one of those legitimate starstruck moments. | ||
| You were saying that. | ||
| You were scared. | ||
| I was like, I can't believe I'm mean. | ||
| Dude, when I was a kid, I used to deliver newspapers, listen to the Ghetto Boys. | ||
| So here I am hanging out with him in the green room, and I'm like, it's really him. | ||
| The coolest cat ever, too. | ||
| The nicest guy! | ||
| Cool. | ||
| You know he was a boxer? | ||
| That nigga knocked some niggas out. | ||
| Dude, he's good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's good. | |
| He sent me a video of him fucking some dude up, and he's like legit, like a pro. | ||
| He was a gold glove guy, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was nice. | ||
| Definitely, Willie D will fuck you up. | ||
| Very good. | ||
| He was very good. | ||
| Like, legitimate skills. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And couldn't be a nicer guy. | ||
| And I quote him all the time. | ||
| This is the big quote before I ever met him. | ||
| You gotta let a hoe be a hoe. | ||
| Gotta let a hoe be a hoe. | ||
| That's like one of the best quotes ever. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| Stop trying to fix people. | ||
| Willie D got... | ||
| Serious-ass one-liners, bro. | ||
| You listen to fucking We Can't Be Stop, Ghetto Boys? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Aw, man. | ||
| I'm nominated for a Grammy night, man, but they had a song on there basically trashing the Grammys, and that's one of my favorite songs, man. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Well, he did all the writing for the Ghetto Boys. | ||
| He did most of the writing. | ||
| He did most of the writing for Bushwick Bill. | ||
| He was Ice Cube, basically, yeah. | ||
| He was amazing. | ||
| Yeah, they wrote for Bushwick Bill. | ||
| Rest in peace to Bushwick Bill, as a matter of fact. | ||
| I got a crazy Bushwick Bill story. | ||
| I met Bushwick Bill Grammy week 2008 in LA. And he came up to me. | ||
| He was like, hey man, you got some weed. | ||
| You look like you got some weed. | ||
| I said, yeah, man. | ||
| I got some weed, nigga. | ||
| He said, I said, and you want to smoke with me? | ||
| You Bushwick Bill. | ||
| You want to smoke with me, nigga? | ||
| Little motherfucker running around the club. | ||
| I'm like, alright, okay. | ||
| So I roll up a blunt for this nigga. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I'm saying? | |
| I'm like, hell yeah. | ||
| I'm texting niggas like, man, I'm about to smoke with Bushwick, nigga. | ||
| This shit crazy. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Get a blunt to Bushwick. | ||
| This motherfucker run off in the motherfucking crowd. | ||
| Of course I can't chase him. | ||
| He two feet tall. | ||
| I can't even find a motherfucker. | ||
| So he stole my blunt and ran off. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| That's my Bushwick story. | ||
| But I wasn't even mad at him. | ||
| If somebody gonna steal my blunt, I'd rather be Bushwick Bill. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Always with the mischief. | ||
| I almost had him on the podcast. | ||
| Bushwick? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| They reached out. | ||
| I have a backlog usually of a few months. | ||
| And so I was trying to figure out when to put him in. | ||
| And so I said, let me circle back in a couple of weeks. | ||
| And then apparently he had already been sick when they reached out. | ||
| And then by then he had deteriorated pretty rapidly. | ||
| And then he was in the hospital. | ||
| He had pancreatic cancer, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the one that gets you quick. | ||
| And almost no one survives it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's a real fast-moving cancer, apparently. | ||
| That got Bill Hicks, too. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh, Pink, you're right. | ||
| Yeah, cancer's crazy. | ||
| My dad got cancer right now. | ||
| I mean, he got stomach cancer. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| That's why I was just saying we used to talk about that diet and all of that stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| The vitamin and the steam room and the sauna. | ||
| We were talking about it because we're out in California and you made the great escape. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
| I got out in time. | ||
| I saw it coming, kids. | ||
| I saw it coming. | ||
| It's gotten no better than No, I saw it in May. | ||
| I started looking in May. | ||
| I was like, they're not going to fix this. | ||
| I'm like, this is just going to keep getting worse. | ||
| And you can't let them... | ||
| When you let people just decide what can open and what can't. | ||
| Okay, Target can open, but the restaurant can't. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Even aside from that, man, I bought a house off Valley Circle. | ||
| And every fucking year, I'm fire scared. | ||
| I bought my house and walked outside. | ||
| Within the first 30 days of me having my shit, the whole goddamn mountain was on fire. | ||
| So I'm like, man, what the fuck? | ||
| I like living over here. | ||
| I like living on a hill, but at what cost? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| A million dollars. | ||
| Yeah, bro. | ||
| A million dollars to get burnt the fuck up? | ||
| I've been evacuated three times when I was living in California. | ||
| I'm in that same area. | ||
| Yeah, I hate that shit. | ||
| It's scary. | ||
| It's scary. | ||
| You rich motherfuckers. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| But look, we paid all this money to be burnt the fuck up. | ||
| And then the windstorms is crazy now. | ||
| Everything on my balcony just blew the fuck off. | ||
| I got my garbage can blew down the hill. | ||
| I got to go down there and get that shit. | ||
| I was talking to a fireman once when I was filming Fear Factor, and this guy told me, he goes, it is a matter of time for the right conditions to happen, and a fire burns right through L.A. all the way to the ocean. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he goes, here's the deal. | ||
| He goes, if it really hits, we can't stop it. | ||
| We can't. | ||
| He goes, they can't stop it. | ||
| He goes, it just has to hit the right way. | ||
| It hasn't hit the right way. | ||
| You saw how it burnt right through Malibu. | ||
| It burnt straight through. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just... | |
| All the way to the ocean. | ||
| I mean, that was crazy. | ||
| All these people that thought, well, they're going to save the rich houses. | ||
| The fuck they did? | ||
| The fuck they didn't? | ||
| Hell nah. | ||
| They don't give a fuck. | ||
| Hell nah. | ||
| They can't do shit to the houses that were on the bluffs. | ||
| I mean, who the fuck thought those were going to get burnt up? | ||
| Yeah, I never thought that I would see shit. | ||
| You're paying too much money for that shit to happen, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The insurance is going to cover all that? | ||
| Oh, your insurance tried to cancel you after that shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| After the fire shit happened, my insurance was like, oh, I think you might want to get fired in some other insurance. | ||
| I'm like, what the fuck, bitch? | ||
| The problem with the insurance is when they lose 150,000 houses, what are they going to do? | ||
| They don't have that money. | ||
| They have to get loans. | ||
| What do they have to do to pay off your house? | ||
| And then they're going to try to nickel and dime you. | ||
| They're going to try to screw you at every turn. | ||
| Not in Texas, though. | ||
| But listen, we almost froze to death out here last week. | ||
| Man, that wasn't shit, man. | ||
| Look, man, I grew up with goddamn Chicago winners, man. | ||
| These motherfuckers down here crying about some goddamn ice. | ||
| Yeah, but they don't get it, though. | ||
| That's why. | ||
| The problem is they never get ice. | ||
| They just weren't prepared. | ||
| I see, because motherfuckers was going in the goddamn garage getting carbon monoxide poison trying to warm up doing stupid shit. | ||
| I said, what the fuck are y'all? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| I shouldn't be laughing. | ||
| Those people died. | ||
| Yeah, but fuck them. | ||
| Did people die from carbon monoxide poison? | ||
| Yeah, they was going in the garage. | ||
| Yeah, a woman and her daughter. | ||
| Man, that is the first rule to having a garage, man. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta keep the door open. | ||
| You gotta leave the fucking door open, man. | ||
| Anybody that has a garage, you just know not to do that. | ||
| Some people died in other storms because of grills. | ||
| Because they had a grill. | ||
| They brought a grill in their house. | ||
| A person brought a grill in the house and got the same carbon monoxide put in. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Heating the house up with a fucking barbecue grill. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Bro, listen. | ||
| I knew some stupid shit like that as a kid. | ||
| I was like, you know, because it was cold and my mom was cooking or something. | ||
| I was like, oh, just leave the oven open. | ||
| She's like, you stupid. | ||
| Now, the oven, we could do that. | ||
| I'm from 17th Avenue in Virginia Street in Gary, Indiana. | ||
| Some days we'll keep that motherfucker open. | ||
| That shit heat up the whole house. | ||
| Yeah, it really does. | ||
| It really does. | ||
| My mom was like, oh, boy, don't be stupid. | ||
| Depends on what kind of oven, right? | ||
| If it's a gas oven, I mean, if it has an exhaust fan, as long as it has an exhaust. | ||
| Oh, we're not saying it's safe, but it was the way that you had to do things in the ghetto. | ||
| Keep giving Joe these nigga lessons. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| That's from the book of niggalations, you know what I'm saying, right there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When it is below 20, you gotta keep the oven up, man. | |
| They didn't have shit out here. | ||
| They didn't have plows. | ||
| They didn't have nothing. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And no one knew how to drive. | ||
| It was hilarious. | ||
| All they did was play football, right? | ||
| I grew up in Boston, so I'm used to driving. | ||
| And I have an apocalypse vehicle. | ||
| I had a 1995 Land Cruiser built out with a supercharged Corvette engine and lifted, big tires. | ||
| I'd drive over anything in that thing. | ||
| Big-ass gas tank, 40-gallon gas tank. | ||
| I had it built because I was thinking some shit was going to go down in California. | ||
| I wanted to be able to drive where there's no roads. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Baja shit. | ||
| Yeah, I have a family, man. | ||
| I worry about shit like that. | ||
| I go, look, I always loved those cars anyway. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because they're just durable cars. | ||
| You know, they use them in the jungle. | ||
| They use them in the desert. | ||
| They drive forever. | ||
| Every third world country I go to is a land cruise. | ||
| Land cruise. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For sure. | |
| They're so durable, man. | ||
| They're so durable. | ||
| In Dominican, that's like the goddamn Rolls-Royce Cullinan. | ||
| Yeah, when it was snowing out here, man, that thing put a smile on my face because it was just plowing right through. | ||
| It was like, oh, we got you, baby. | ||
| You were tripping, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it was like, Daddy, this is what we were built for. | ||
| It was just driving over everything for me. | ||
| It felt so good. | ||
| You know, solid axles, four-wheel drive, locking differentials, fat knobby-ass tires, just boom. | ||
| Oh yeah, you did that shit. | ||
| Oh, it was beautiful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you not bored out here? | |
| You're not bored out in Austin? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love it. | |
| You love this shit. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| You love this shit. | ||
| The people are nice. | ||
| Everything that you do in LA, you could do out here. | ||
| I'm moving. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| I'm out, Joe. | ||
| See what Joe's doing, bro. | ||
| He's starting to cuss. | ||
| I'm out, Joe. | ||
| I've been trying to correct. | ||
| This is Joseph Koresh out here. | ||
| It's not a cuss. | ||
| I'm coming. | ||
| I'm coming, Joe. | ||
| I'm leaving L.A. Fuck my life in L.A. That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Fuck my career. | ||
| Fuck my kids. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Bring them out here. | ||
| They'll love it. | ||
| That's the other thing. | ||
| My kids love it out here. | ||
| They made good friends really quickly. | ||
| That's another thing, too. | ||
| People are friendly out here. | ||
| Badass, dumbass kids in L.A. Man, my kids go to them goddamn private school, man. | ||
| Them old rich-ass, stupid-ass kids, man. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Fuck them kids, man. | ||
| You were saying that same shit, actually. | ||
| I remember that. | ||
| Well, the problem is they're all into material possessions and fucking wear Prada t-shirts and they're 10 years old. | ||
| Like, what are we doing? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| I'll be like, yo, let me see a 10-year-old with a Prada shirt on. | ||
| I'm gonna take that motherfucker off his ass. | ||
| You little punk-ass nigga. | ||
| You little punk-ass nigga that was talking shit to Cam Newton yesterday. | ||
| I would've beat his ass. | ||
| Who was talking shit to Cam Newton? | ||
| The kid at his camp. | ||
| They do this shit every year to him at his camp. | ||
| At this point, he told him, he said, you a free agent. | ||
| You about to be poor. | ||
| Cam was like, I'm rich. | ||
| I'm rich. | ||
| I'm like, why are you arguing with this little motherfucker? | ||
| He's arguing with a 10-year-old? | ||
| Yeah, dawg. | ||
| And then Cam was like, where your daddy at, though? | ||
| Why are you gonna get racist, Cam? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, he said that. | |
| Oh, that's a bad look. | ||
| He said, where's your daddy at, though? | ||
| You're a fatherless bastard? | ||
| No, no, he said that. | ||
| You're a black bastard? | ||
| No, he didn't say that. | ||
| That would have blown up everywhere. | ||
| Yeah, come on, bro. | ||
| But he really did say, where's your daddy at? | ||
| He did say, where's your daddy at? | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| He said, where's your parents at, man? | ||
| Where's your daddy at? | ||
| For a 10-year-old? | ||
| I mean, the kid was coming at him. | ||
| Yeah, but you gotta let him come at you and laugh. | ||
| He's fucking Cam Newton. | ||
| He might have been 15. He was a little older. | ||
| Yeah, he was 15. If they're 15, they can get it. | ||
| To me, he was old enough to get his ass whooped. | ||
| He was talking shit, too. | ||
| He was talking shit. | ||
| Wasn't he old enough to get his ass whooped? | ||
| Probably. | ||
| He was old enough to get his ass whooped, bro. | ||
| Yes, he was. | ||
| Yes, he was. | ||
| You had a goddamn bra man's football camp. | ||
| You're here to get fucked up. | ||
| Do you beat up a 15-year-old or do you just strangle him? | ||
| I don't think you can touch them kids, man. | ||
| I don't think you're allowed to hit them. | ||
| I think you open-hand slapped that little bass. | ||
| You kick him in the legs. | ||
| I think it's the rule of fighting, you know? | ||
| They hit you first, then it's free game. | ||
| Yes, but you can't beat up a 15-year-old. | ||
| No, you can't beat him to death. | ||
| But some big 15-year-olds. | ||
| You know, Mike Tyson, when he was 13, weighed 190 pounds. | ||
| Man, you know that's my spirit, nigga, bro. | ||
| LAUGHTER I'm a spear digger. | ||
| I never heard of that one. | ||
| Teddy Atlas, who was his trainer at the time, was on my podcast, and he said they used to bring Mike Tyson to what they call smokers. | ||
| What smokers are is these unregulated amateur boxing matches. | ||
| And so they'd bring him to smokers, and everyone would lie about how many fights your guy had, how old your guy was. | ||
| So they'd go, Teddy, how old is he? | ||
| He goes, he's 13. And he's like, this fucking guy's not 13. Mike Tyson's over there 13, built like a tank. | ||
| And he goes, he's fucking 13. He goes, okay, he's 16. And so they put him in with 16-year-olds and he'd knock him senseless. | ||
| He was 190 at 13. And they called them fight smokers because everybody was in there smoking cigarettes. | ||
| And the cigarette smoke was so thick. | ||
| Up until recently, they still had those in L.A. That's how a lot of Muay Thai fighters would get their experience. | ||
| They'd fight smokers. | ||
| They'd do them in a gym. | ||
| They'd set up, bring folding chairs. | ||
| They had them at a lot of gyms. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| 13. 190. There's nobody like that dude. | ||
| He came from the right environment and the right time in history and just had the right demeanor. | ||
| Wanna hear something crazy? | ||
| This is a true story. | ||
| This table, when I first moved here, this is the exact width of the table that I have in L.A., and I was gonna make it more narrow. | ||
| I was like, well, this room's kind of smaller. | ||
| I'll have a smaller table. | ||
| Then I did a podcast with Tyson as he was preparing to fight Roy Jones Jr., and he was so intense. | ||
| It was a different man. | ||
| I had him 10 months ago, and then he came in 10 months later, and he was like, I'm never fighting again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If I fight again, then my ego will get excited, and then I can't do it. | |
| And then 10 months later, he's training, he's fit, he's got softballs on the muscles on your forearm. | ||
| Everything just looks jacked and ready to rock. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| It was so nerve-wracking. | ||
| And I'm like, I gotta keep the distance in the table. | ||
| I gotta make... | ||
| I was nervous! | ||
| I was just nervous being in his presence because you could tell he was ready to go. | ||
| Yeah, he was ready to eat your heart and your children. | ||
| Luckily, when I met Mike, he was with Snoop and he was high. | ||
| So he was just chilling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I'm saying? | |
| He said he was high when he fought. | ||
| He said he was high when he fought. | ||
| Mike Tyson said he fought with gonorrhea. | ||
| And couldn't wait to whoop the nigga ass so he can get out the ring and go get treatment. | ||
| He knocked out Michael Spinks in the first round with gonorrhea. | ||
| Featuring gonorrhea. | ||
| It's like a fighter can only exist in a certain RPM level. | ||
| It's like they hit that, they redline, and they can only do that for a few years. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But I maintain that him, in those years, like when he knocked out Larry Holmes, when he knocked out Michael Spinks, that was one of the greatest that's ever lived. | ||
| That's ever lived. | ||
| The greatest heavyweight of all time. | ||
| People always want to tell me about, you know, Joe Louis, Jack Johnson, and Ali, obviously. | ||
| They're all great. | ||
| But in that, from 80, whenever the fuck it was, until 87, 88, I'm like, there's nobody like that guy. | ||
| Bro, when Buster Douglas beat Mike Tyson, I cried. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I cried like a baby. | ||
| I said, shit. | ||
| I was like, I said it's over. | ||
| My life is over. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Mike Tyson lost? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| I did a gig, and I heard about it after the gig, and I didn't believe it, and I watched the video. | ||
| Somebody had a VHS tape, and I watched the video expecting him to get up, and I was like, there's no way. | ||
| That's how invincible we thought he was. | ||
| Yeah, but he was. | ||
| He was. | ||
| If Robin Givens doesn't come into that man's life, I mean, maybe something else happens, but... | ||
| Yeah, he lost his mind. | ||
| If Customato stayed alive, he would have been untouchable. | ||
| He would have been untouchable. | ||
| Untouchable. | ||
| He was so good. | ||
| I'm sorry to all the Ali fans, all the old heads out there, I'm sorry, but... | ||
| You never saw anything like this, Kat. | ||
| Well, you know what? | ||
| If Ali was around when Tyson was around, Ali would have been a better Ali. | ||
| And that's a fact. | ||
| This is the thing about fighters. | ||
| They need that kind of opposition. | ||
| Ali was who he was because of Joe Frazier. | ||
| He was who he was because of Sonny Liston. | ||
| And he was who he was because of Foreman. | ||
| And if Mike Tyson was there, Ali was a great champion. | ||
| If Mike Tyson was around when Ali was around, I believe that Ali would have been even better than he was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, and Ali might be the greatest. | ||
| He might be the greatest. | ||
| But it's a different era. | ||
| It's like you can't really talk about fighters when they're not around the best that you know. | ||
| They're around the best that they know. | ||
| I like that shit. | ||
| That's what I'm talking about. | ||
| You gotta say that shit loud. | ||
| I think that's the problem with the heavyweight division now. | ||
| It's no competition. | ||
| It's no, like, who you gonna fight? | ||
| Deontay Wilder? | ||
| Like... | ||
| Well, it's like they're better because of each other, though. | ||
| Like, Tyson Fury became better after Deontay knocked him down and fucked him up in the 12th round. | ||
| Knocked him down twice and then really had him in danger in the 12th round. | ||
| Then got up and then figured out in the 12th round that Deontay can't fight as well backing up. | ||
| And then hired Sugar Hill from the Kronk Gym to train him for the rematch and then came out straight at Deontay and put Deontay on his heels. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And fuck Deontay up. | ||
| Fucked him up. | ||
| And now he'll be a better fighter now because of that. | ||
| So this trilogy's gonna be good. | ||
| I don't think it's gonna happen. | ||
| I don't think it's gonna happen. | ||
| I think one of them gonna fight Joshua out there. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I don't know what's up with Deontay Wilder. | ||
| I don't know where he goes from here, actually, to be honest. | ||
| Don't sleep on Andy Ruiz. | ||
| Andy Ruiz is out there doing sit-ups right now. | ||
| He's like... | ||
| I fucked up. | ||
| I know I fucked up. | ||
| Look, Andy Ruiz has some of the fastest fucking hands I've ever seen. | ||
| Big Mac Andy? | ||
| Yeah, he's a bad motherfucker, dude. | ||
| He is a bad motherfucker, though. | ||
| I mean, he beat Anthony, yeah. | ||
| He can take it. | ||
| He is. | ||
| He's got a rock chin. | ||
| He's got a chin, yeah. | ||
| That always helps. | ||
| He said he could take that shit up. | ||
| He's just gotta get his shit together. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know who my favorite boxer is right now, though? | ||
| Who? | ||
| Bud Crawford. | ||
| Oh, that's our boy. | ||
| Yeah, it's all about Bud. | ||
| He's one of the best of all time. | ||
| He's the best, man. | ||
| One of the best of all time. | ||
| One of the best, because he switch hits like Marvin Hagler. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| He's like one of the only guys in all of boxing that can fight just as good Southpaw as Orthodox. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I would have loved to see Floyd fight him. | ||
| Yeah, but Floyd wouldn't do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, he's past his prime. | |
| Floyd's fighting YouTube stars now. | ||
| Right, I would have loved. | ||
| He should. | ||
| He's going to make 30 million bucks. | ||
| But do you think that Bud would have beat him? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think that would have been an amazing fight. | ||
| I mean, Floyd's defense is Hall of Fame. | ||
| It's probably top two in the history of boxing. | ||
| It is. | ||
| We're talking about a guy who's 50-0, 49 in Conor McGregor. | ||
| He's 50-0. | ||
| 49 in Conor McGregor. | ||
| Right? | ||
| That's not fair. | ||
| Guys had zero professional boxing fights, and that's your 50. But you're talking about literally, if boxing is the art of hitting and not being hit, he's the best of all time. | ||
| He's the best of all time. | ||
| Better than Sugar Ray. | ||
| Yeah, literally been hit hard maybe four times his whole career. | ||
| Floyd's the best. | ||
| And figured out a way to get people to pay, even though he's winning by decisions. | ||
| Just talk a lot of shit, show a lot of money, and everybody wants you to lose, but you still beat everybody. | ||
| He still beat everybody. | ||
| He just wasn't flashy. | ||
| He wasn't knocking nobody out. | ||
| But he did when he was younger. | ||
| He did when he was younger, but he broke his hands a lot. | ||
| When he was Pretty Boy Floyd, he knocked a lot of fucking people out. | ||
| First of all, he knocked Ricky Hatton out when everybody thought Ricky Hatton was going to get him. | ||
| Yeah, that was L2. Yeah, dude. | ||
| Floyd's one of the greatest of all time, if not the greatest of all time. | ||
| I think he's the greatest. | ||
| I think he's the greatest. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, because boxing is legitimately about hitting and not being hit, and no one's done it better. | ||
| No one's done it better than him. | ||
| Yeah, no one's done it better. | ||
| Like you said, his defense is number one of all time. | ||
| And his understanding of boxing is impregnable. | ||
| I mean, he's been hit, and he can take it. | ||
| That's the other thing. | ||
| Madonna hurt him. | ||
| You know, Sugar Shane Mosley hurt him. | ||
| I thought that that was going to be the one that was going to be the one that was going to really... | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I love Shane Mosley. | ||
| Yeah, Shane had an ascension for a second, and then it just kind of just... | ||
| Like I said, they can only operate at that RPM for so long. | ||
| Nobody can maintain it. | ||
| And just training camps. | ||
| Training camps, it's like, if you're working out, you could work out all year long. | ||
| But you can't train all year long. | ||
| You're ramping yourself up. | ||
| It's like this delicate balance of peaking. | ||
| And your body can only do so much of it, and then it needs a break. | ||
| Yeah, you can't overtrain. | ||
| Yeah, and a lot of guys do. | ||
| A lot of guys do. | ||
| They want it so bad, they overtrain. | ||
| They want to be harder, they want to be disciplined, and they wind up brutalizing their body, and they come into fights compromised. | ||
| In the UFC, it happens more often than boxing. | ||
| I was going to say, yeah. | ||
| I mean, it just happened to Conor, really. | ||
| Not really, no. | ||
| You don't think so? | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| He was in leg kicked. | ||
| Oh, yes. | ||
| He got fucked up in that shit. | ||
| He got fucked up. | ||
| Dustin Poirier is a beast. | ||
| Yeah, you've been saying this, actually. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He is. | |
| Listen, I'm like, yeah, you've been saying this about Dustin for a second. | ||
| Just him being from fucking Louisiana, his attitude is just so fiery, dog. | ||
| I love his energy. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| He's legit as fuck. | ||
| He definitely legit. | ||
| He whooped kind of ass. | ||
| Look, that low calf kick, that's like a new element in MMA and a lot of guys are using it. | ||
| It just brutalizes your leg. | ||
| You can't move. | ||
| Yeah, you can't walk. | ||
| There's no meat down there. | ||
| There's no meat. | ||
| It's all bone. | ||
| Look at your forearm and then imagine someone hitting your forearm with a bat. | ||
| There's nothing there to protect you. | ||
| If you get hit in the shoulder with a bat, it's not as bad. | ||
| But if you get hit in the forearm, like right here, like right above the wrist, that's what it's like getting kicked in the calf. | ||
| Just do that with your hand. | ||
| That hurts. | ||
| Now imagine a big man like Dustin Poirier slamming that shin. | ||
| Whack! | ||
| Whack! | ||
| Right into that spot. | ||
| All that weight behind it. | ||
| And skill. | ||
| And speed. | ||
| And torque. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| Yeah, it's horrible. | ||
| It's a crazy new move. | ||
| I wanted to see Conor fight Khabib again. | ||
| Yeah, but Khabib's in a good spot. | ||
| He don't have to do shit. | ||
| If I was Khabib, I wouldn't do shit either, though. | ||
| He might come back. | ||
| But that's the custom model thing with him. | ||
| His pops is gone, so it's like, why do it? | ||
| Well, it's not just that. | ||
| He promised his mother. | ||
| Look, Khabib drives a Toyota pickup truck. | ||
| Do you know that? | ||
| Lives in the same house. | ||
| He's just a normal living dude. | ||
| Doesn't dress flashy at all. | ||
| Which means he's going to win all the time. | ||
| He's real, man. | ||
| Yeah, he is real. | ||
| I mean, the motherfucker wrestled bears, dog. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Legitimately. | ||
| That'll always keep you hungry. | ||
| If I can't be the bear. | ||
| Yeah, as a child, dog. | ||
| So, I mean, like, I looked at him and I was like, yeah, this is probably one of the most toughest individuals in the world. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| So disciplined and so religious. | ||
| Like, absolutely dedicated to his religion. | ||
| I mean, shit, you gotta be. | ||
| Them motherfuckers are Muslim in goddamn Ukraine. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| It's freezing. | ||
| Ain't shit going on out there, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And they're just tough people anyway. | ||
| They're mountain people. | ||
| They live in the mountains of Dagestan. | ||
| Bro, there's an invasion of Dagestan in the UFC right now. | ||
| Invasion. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| There's so many of those guys coming over, and they're all savages. | ||
| Like, if you find out a guy's from... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Poor countries always seem to like... | ||
| When they come up, you know what I mean? | ||
| I can't imagine it's wealthy. | ||
| Poor conditions, period, produce fighters. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Look at Conor, shit. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| There's a video, or a photo, rather. | ||
| Go to Shannon Cannon Briggs. | ||
| Oh my god, watch him this morning. | ||
| Go to his Instagram, because he reposted a photo of Jack Dempsey, where Jack Dempsey was talking about what it was like growing up, and working, and all the shit that he had to endure, and bad food, and... | ||
| This is why I say Bill Russell is the greatest of all time. | ||
| Look at that right there. | ||
| That's Jack Dempsey. | ||
| And by the way, that's the man that Mike Tyson idolized the most. | ||
| In fact, Mike Tyson even cut his hair like Jack Dempsey. | ||
| Yeah, look at what Shannon says. | ||
| Some of y'all tender because you never worked hard. | ||
| You cocoa butter skin soft. | ||
| You gotta get out there and get tough. | ||
| Join a boxing gym, take up mixed martial arts before it's too late. | ||
| Ask yourself, can I run three to five miles right now if I had to so that I could survive? | ||
| Can you fight three to five minutes hard without dying from exhaustion? | ||
| Be tougher. | ||
| Prepare. | ||
| Let's go champs! | ||
| That's real shit. | ||
| So it says there with Jack Dempsey, if you can scroll down once you read it, he said, we ate poorly, we had very few clothes, we worked too hard, I fed pigs, chopped wood, worked into sugar beet fields, shined shoes in barbershops, helped pitch circus tents, and move heavy equipment, and even shoveled dung. | ||
| But all in all, I don't regret having grown up that way. | ||
| It made me tough and well prepared for the life ahead. | ||
| I was never ill or down with sickness. | ||
| My body became tough as leather. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That was a horrific man. | ||
| If you were staring across the ring from him, people were just different animals back then at the turn of the century. | ||
| They were. | ||
| They were fighting for that food bucket. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you're fighting for food and for your family, you're like, hey man, this is going to feed me tonight. | ||
| Yeah, you're going to kill somebody. | ||
| Yeah, you will. | ||
| That's why Mike Tyson was so good. | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| When he came on my podcast and told me about his childhood, that literally the time he was with Cuss was the first time that he experienced love. | ||
| And that he would get this love from fighting and winning. | ||
| And also, Cuss was a hypnotist. | ||
| So Cuss was a psychologist and a hypnotist. | ||
| And he knew a lot about psychology because boxing is so much mental, right? | ||
| It is, right. | ||
| So he learned how to hypnotize Tyson. | ||
| He was hypnotizing when he was like 13 years old. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| One of the things he said that I never stopped thinking about, he said, he goes, Cuss would tell me, you don't exist. | ||
| You are just the task. | ||
| You complete the task, but you don't exist. | ||
| So he was only thinking about, oh, I don't want to lose. | ||
| Oh, I hope I don't embarrass myself. | ||
| He literally programmed him into his mind. | ||
| You don't exist. | ||
| Only the task, the task ahead of him. | ||
| And Mike Tyson would smash people. | ||
| That's soldier brainwashing too, by the way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's what they always say. | ||
| Your goal, your mission is the task. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, imagine being a kid whose whole life was just filled with violence and crime and horrific abandonment and just pain. | ||
| And then all of a sudden you find this one thing that literally you're built for. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Exactly. | ||
| Literally. | ||
| No one's 13, 190 pounds, 5'10". | ||
| He's the Michael Phelps of boxing. | ||
| Yeah, he was just... | ||
| He was born to... | ||
| Born to box. | ||
| But, like, just a complex individual, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Like, Mike Tyson slept in a bed with his mom when he was, like, 15 years old. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| The most of the trouble that was happening in the 70s. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, that's crazy. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like... | ||
| I wouldn't say it was anything sexual. | ||
| He just wanted to be near his mother. | ||
| Also, a very complex guy in his understanding of history. | ||
| All the conquerors. | ||
| I asked him about Genghis Khan. | ||
| His name was Temujin. | ||
| He goes into the whole story of Genghis Khan. | ||
| He knows where you were born. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| What city were you born in? | ||
| That's how he can talk to you about Genghis Khan or Alexander the Great or any of those conquerors. | ||
| Right. | ||
| When he started on that path, man, he was all in. | ||
| All in. | ||
| One of the great cultural moments of my childhood, like growing up, was watching the ascent of Mike Tyson. | ||
| Yes, definitely. | ||
| I guess I wasn't a child. | ||
| I was in my early 20s. | ||
| You know, I think he's like one year older than me. | ||
| So he won the title when he was 20, so I was 19. And I remember seeing him was like, oh my god. | ||
| Like so different than everybody else. | ||
| So different. | ||
| Because the heavyweight division had gotten boring. | ||
| Yeah, I'd heard. | ||
| Especially after Ollie retires, basically, right? | ||
| It's boring now. | ||
| Nobody gave Larry Holmes his due. | ||
| Nobody. | ||
| Never did. | ||
| But why would you? | ||
| There was nobody then. | ||
| But it's not true. | ||
| It's not true. | ||
| He fought Ernie Shavers. | ||
| He fought good guys. | ||
| He fucked up Jerry Cooney when Jerry Cooney was pretty good. | ||
| He beat a lot of good guys, but he had also beat Ali. | ||
| And everybody hated him for beating Ali. | ||
| People forgot how good Larry Holmes was. | ||
| Yeah, I don't think about it because Mike Tyson beat the shit out of him quick. | ||
| He did. | ||
| He fucked him up. | ||
| But that was how good Tyson was. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And this is what I'm saying. | ||
| I'm like, I don't know, man. | ||
| I just think that there's nobody in that prime that's better than that guy. | ||
| And I'm sorry, Ali, Jack Johnson, Dempsey, you know, Joe Louis fans. | ||
| Jack Johnson was something different, though, man. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| He got there fighting bare-fisted, man. | ||
| Basically. | ||
| And fighting racism. | ||
| Well, that's why I always say, like, when they talk about goats, you know, like, LeBron, Jordan, you know, all these... | ||
| You kind of can't do it. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| Because you can't talk about those cats before the segregation era. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because they're dealing with the ankle weights of segregation. | ||
| You know what it's almost like? | ||
| It's trying to give the Academy Award of all movies to one movie. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| How can you do that? | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's so many great movies. | ||
| Citizen Kane's pretty good, though. | ||
| It's a goddamn good movie, especially if you consider the time that it was made. | ||
| By the way, that's about William Randolph Hearst. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| The same guy who made Weed Illegal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| He worked with Harry Ensler in the 1930s. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, it is crazy. | ||
| But you look at their eras, like Lenny Bruce. | ||
| If you try to listen to a Lenny Bruce CD today, they're not that good. | ||
| Not that they're not that good, but it doesn't hold up. | ||
| It's not going to make you laugh. | ||
| It's fascinating historically, because you've got to think of the guy. | ||
| They couldn't say that back then. | ||
| He was going to jail for us, okay? | ||
| Basically. | ||
| He planted the seeds. | ||
| He was Jesus, yeah. | ||
| He planted the seeds. | ||
| Carlin also went to jail for us. | ||
| I think Pryor went to jail for that same kind of shit, didn't he? | ||
| Didn't he get arrested? | ||
| I mean, that nigger's crazy is an album. | ||
| Richard Pryor went... | ||
| That nigger's crazy is an album. | ||
| I didn't even know I was an adult, Joe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a book called Nigger by... | ||
| Dick Gregory. | ||
| Yeah, my idol. | ||
| Dick Gregory spoke at my high school graduation. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If we're talking about styles, that's who I admit my style is Dick Gregory. | ||
| But yeah, those guys, you couldn't say that kind of shit. | ||
| No. | ||
| They were cultural pioneers. | ||
| They weren't just guys who were working. | ||
| There was guys at the time that worked, that were also comics, that worked with them. | ||
| They had contemporaries. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| Good point. | ||
| But we don't look back at those guys and say they changed culture. | ||
| I mean, yeah. | ||
| Manny Bruce changed culture, and Pryor for sure changed culture, and George Carlin changed culture too. | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| They changed culture. | ||
| They did something that we'll never understand. | ||
| They literally got cuffed and put into a cell for their act. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then they kept doing it. | ||
| That's true censorship. | ||
| That's the true shit. | ||
| That's when the government's taking you to jail for it. | ||
| They're banning you from Twitter when you can just make another Instagram. | ||
| So they took George Carlin to jail for doing stand-up? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, multiple times. | ||
| Lenny Bruce, all them cats. | ||
| Fred Fox? | ||
| Didn't he go to jail once and was arrested in the same car with Lenny Bruce, I think? | ||
| I think he got put in the back of the same squad car with Lenny Bruce. | ||
| Maybe that's a legend. | ||
| Is he that old? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's old enough. | ||
| He's old enough to cross paths. | ||
| Maybe it's Mort Saldin. | ||
| Well, Mort Sahl was definitely a part of that crew, too. | ||
| Mort Sahl was very political. | ||
| So these motherfuckers are going to jail for doing comedy? | ||
| Yeah, I don't know if Mort Sahl ever went to jail, though. | ||
| I think Mort Sahl didn't. | ||
| But he was also very important. | ||
| Lenny Bruce, Carlin, those cats, they paved the way for hip-hop. | ||
| I mean, it's basically the two live crew of it all. | ||
| They're saying, hey, why can't we say shit? | ||
| Cats went to jail for this kind of shit. | ||
| We can say anything. | ||
| Well, by the time Pryor came along, he was like the best example of being undeniable. | ||
| He was so good. | ||
| And raw. | ||
| So different. | ||
| And fearless. | ||
| No one was that honest. | ||
| He would do jokes about him being on fire. | ||
| I mean, the guy got out of the hospital, almost fucking died, but later admitted that he tried to kill himself, that he tried to light himself on fire. | ||
| And then here he is on TV doing, you know, jokes about a match. | ||
| What's this? | ||
| Richard Pryor running down the street? | ||
| Fuck y'all! | ||
| And everybody would go crazy and laugh. | ||
| I mean, this is a guy that almost died. | ||
| Almost died. | ||
| And here he is, his next special. | ||
| That time, George Carlin got arrested with Lenny Bruce. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| We've got to remember, Carlin, in his early, early, early days, wore a suit and tie and was squeaky clean. | ||
| And then he probably fucked some really hot hippie or something. | ||
| And realized, these people are more fun. | ||
| Or maybe he saw Lenny a few times. | ||
| I've been going to the 50s and 60s docs a lot lately. | ||
| I don't know what it is about it, but I've just been into them for the last two weeks. | ||
| I've been texting you about some of this shit, maybe. | ||
| But that's a weird time in history. | ||
| Crazy time. | ||
| Because the 50s is like, okay, America's a superpower. | ||
| They get out of depression. | ||
| They become a superpower after World War II because they make all this money. | ||
| And then it's like all these straight white men, or let's just say white Christian men, are terrified because they're like, well, we have everything. | ||
| We can call women bitches. | ||
| We can slap them in public. | ||
| We don't have to hire black people. | ||
| We can call them niggers, all this kind of stuff. | ||
| We can do anything. | ||
| We can drink and smoke. | ||
| We can have side bitches all the time. | ||
| I have a house in New York and I live in the suburbs. | ||
| What am I afraid of? | ||
| They were afraid of a fucking satellite called Sputnik. | ||
| They were afraid of the Russians. | ||
| The Russians, I mean, maybe they were gonna fuck with us. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Well, they were afraid of us, too. | ||
| They were doing the same thing, yeah. | ||
| You guys were scared of each other, but none of y'all made a move. | ||
| Our leaders figured out a way to put us against each other. | ||
| And one of the best parts about it is that the formula is in the Bible. | ||
| Word. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Right? | ||
| The Tower of Babel? | ||
| Or Tower of Babel, rather? | ||
| The Tower of Babel was about having so many languages that you couldn't communicate with each other, and that was how... | ||
| Was it God that ensured that people could never unite? | ||
| Whose idea was the Tower of Babel? | ||
| Was it God's? | ||
| I think it's Old Testament, right? | ||
| Genesis. | ||
| That's the first one? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's the Godfather? | ||
| Well, Old Testament is the crazy shit. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| You want to get deep into the origins of religion. | ||
| You read some Old Testament stuff. | ||
| You're like, hey, hold on. | ||
| How much of this do you believe? | ||
| Word. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| Like, hold on. | ||
| We're not saying that there's not a God, there's not a higher power, but people wrote this. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| That's what I tell people all the time. | ||
| This is not being against God. | ||
| It's not being against God. | ||
| We are in denial that people are full of shit. | ||
| Right! | ||
| Bro, I had a whole bit about it. | ||
| It was basically, I would never say this is no God, but I'm saying people are full of shit and that story sucks. | ||
| Put those two and two together. | ||
| You know people lie. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| People wrote this shit. | ||
| People wrote this, the Quran, all them goddamn books. | ||
| This is man-made. | ||
| But it doesn't mean that there's not some truth to the original stories they were trying to tell. | ||
| But you gotta take what you get from it. | ||
| You gotta take your own perspective. | ||
| It's like QAnon. | ||
| There's a criminal truth to everything. | ||
| But there's some shit in there. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| They knew harmony. | ||
| They understood, right? | ||
| Like, do unto your brother as you would have them do unto you. | ||
| They figured some things out, the divine things, like love and community and just some rules that God wants you to live in a very just way. | ||
| And they're right, though. | ||
| This is the path out of barbarism. | ||
| This is the path out of murdering people with swords. | ||
| This is the path out of killing babies with arrows. | ||
| That was the path. | ||
| They realized, look, we used to be savage because we had to be savage. | ||
| We were getting eaten by jaguars and shit. | ||
| There's this guy, his name is Rupert Sheldrake, and he has this idea about children's memories, and it's a fascinating idea. | ||
| He said, there's a reason why kids are afraid of monsters. | ||
| He goes, they're not afraid of car accidents or child molesters or bullets. | ||
| How the fuck do they know to be afraid of monsters? | ||
| They know from the jump how to be afraid of some shit that's not likely going to affect them. | ||
| And his idea was that there's some sort of memory that goes back to the time when we were primates living in the trees and we're worried about cats because they always came in the dark. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And you're always worried about a monster in the dark. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So these memories are like they're a part of us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So something forced early humans to say, we gotta figure out a way to work together and we need some rules. | ||
| And if we do that, we gravitate towards the divine. | ||
| If we can abandon all of our bullshit and if we could talk to each other, it would help. | ||
| And that's where the Tower of Babel shit comes in. | ||
| That's where the Russian shit with the United States comes in. | ||
| If we could all talk to each other and go, hey man, why are you mad? | ||
| We thought you were mad! | ||
| We're not mad at all! | ||
| Give me a hug! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I thought you were going to kill my kids! | |
| I just got this million dollars, bro. | ||
| You should have said something. | ||
| I'm terrified. | ||
| I got this military behind me. | ||
| Oh my god, we spent so much money on missiles. | ||
| We're going to save that money. | ||
| We're going to just food. | ||
| We're going to fed each other. | ||
| If the United States and Russia just had that kind of conversation, like even if you're Putin and even if you're what Trump wanted to be, even if you're like the ultimate ruler of what land you live on and everyone loves you, even then, there's enough for everybody. | ||
| Jesus fucking Christ. | ||
| There is no reason why Russia and the United States should even think about fighting each other. | ||
| It's so dumb. | ||
| Bro, humanity's only here for another 4 billion years, maybe 2,000 years, maybe, shit. | ||
| If we're lucky, but it's not. | ||
| It's not us. | ||
| It's a couple people that are living this old way and they're running a whole country. | ||
| A couple people. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| That's influence. | ||
| That's what's up. | ||
| And they all want it. | ||
| I feel like we all got missiles aimed at each other just like waiting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, we do. | ||
| That's a scary fucking deal. | ||
| I mean, you've been in the streets so it's like, you know, that's how it is. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| See? | ||
| The difference is this could wipe out all of humanity. | ||
| And we've come close at least twice. | ||
| Right. | ||
| At least twice. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| What's the point? | ||
| Why didn't they ever ask themselves, like, what was the point? | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| China has enough. | ||
| The United States has enough. | ||
| Russia has enough. | ||
| It's just, we gotta work it out better. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| It's not like one country's, like, made out of gold. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And all the other countries are like, what the fuck? | ||
| We don't have any gold! | ||
| Right. | ||
| We got hay! | ||
| We're growing hay over here! | ||
| You motherfuckers got gold? | ||
| Just give me a little gold. | ||
| I want, like, a basketball of gold. | ||
| A basketball-sized piece of gold would literally last you for the rest of your life. | ||
| You could be a baller until your fucking heart stops. | ||
| How much is a... | ||
| A basketball-sized chunk of gold. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, honestly, yeah, because everything's going cryptocurrency anyway, if you just have this actual physical piece of value, yeah, you're the guy. | ||
| That would be so wealthy, though. | ||
| How expensive would a basketball made out of solid gold? | ||
| Gold is what, like 1,800 ounce? | ||
| Converse it to kilos. | ||
| If you had to guess, how much for a kilo of gold? | ||
| How much do you think it would weigh? | ||
| Like a basketball-sized chunk of gold. | ||
| I mean, that's weight, bro. | ||
| So much weight. | ||
| I would say about like 15, 20 pounds. | ||
| A medicine ball, you think? | ||
| I don't have any gold watches, but if you ever pick up a gold watch, they're heavy as fuck. | ||
| You do. | ||
| Yeah, it's shit heavy. | ||
| It's heavy as fuck, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's heavy. | ||
| Can I feel that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's unusual. | ||
| This weight is unusual. | ||
| It's unusual. | ||
| See, look, my watch is the opposite of yours. | ||
| Mine's made out of titanium. | ||
| Feel that. | ||
| It feels like nothing. | ||
| By the way, that was Martin Luther King's dream in action right there. | ||
| This is so heavy. | ||
| He wanted a black man to give his solid gold watch to a white man in Texas. | ||
| It's so heavy. | ||
| And nobody fought. | ||
| This is the Omega. | ||
| Oh shit, they trading watches? | ||
| It's a rapper watch. | ||
| This is so light. | ||
| This thing's made out of titanium. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| I need to give me one of them Omegas. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| See? | ||
| There we go. | ||
| It's converted to something called a troy ounce, which is not quite the same as a pound. | ||
| Hey, bro, I got news for you. | ||
| That's way more than 15 pounds. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Basketball gold, that might be like 80 pounds. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Think of a medicine ball. | ||
| What a basketball-sized object made out of gold weigh. | ||
| Let's try it. | ||
| Sounds like a workout. | ||
| I feel like 2 million. | ||
| 2.1 for 100 pounds worth of gold. | ||
| 100 pounds of gold worth of gold? | ||
| It might even be more than 100 pounds. | ||
| How dense is it? | ||
| 100 troy pounds. | ||
| Have you seen that ball that can fall through the earth? | ||
| That's like this little dense thing. | ||
| It's like, I don't know. | ||
| How do you even do that? | ||
| Fall through the earth? | ||
| It can. | ||
| It's a ball that can fall through the earth. | ||
| Neutron star or something. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, wow. | |
| What country invented that? | ||
| Well, the problem with that was that was a part of the fear of people that didn't understand what they were doing with the Large Hadron Collider. | ||
| Like, people got scared, and they thought that they were going to create black holes. | ||
| See, they had never done it before. | ||
| They were trying to do a... | ||
| You know what the Large Hadron Collider is? | ||
| I heard about the black hole creator, yeah. | ||
| It's a crazy thing that it goes through more than one country, and it's miles long, and it's a particle accelerator that gets shit just under the speed of light, and they can figure out what happened at the earliest moments of the universe through this. | ||
| So through these experiments, they've figured out a bunch of things, like the Higgs boson particle is the thing they were looking for. | ||
| It's like this theoretical particle that's like the god particle. | ||
| They were trying to figure out what made this thing. | ||
| They had theorized this thing existed, and then they couldn't figure it out until they used this Large Hadron Collider, and they actually measured it. | ||
| So they know that this thing is possible. | ||
| So it's just, it's thoroughly long, I guess at a microscopic level. | ||
| But there was also some shit called quark gluon plasma that they discovered. | ||
| It's the heaviest shit they've ever measured ever. | ||
| Like, it's a preposterously heavy element. | ||
| And they can only make it exist for fractions of a second. | ||
| But it exists. | ||
| But it exists, and they measured it. | ||
| So it was one of the things they were really trying to find out if it was real. | ||
| Like, there's some dudes that are so far ahead of you and I. They're so much smarter than us! | ||
| They're figuring out a way to recreate the Big Bang in the tiniest little segment, like a cell of the Big Bang. | ||
| Like if the Big Bang was an elephant, they can get one cell of that Big Bang and recreate it. | ||
| This is why I say I still think, yeah, because you're right, there's only a handful of dudes who are on that God level, right? | ||
| Where I'm like, we're just too primitive to not believe in God. | ||
| I don't think there's a handful. | ||
| I think there's essentially the same number as... | ||
| This is my theory on things. | ||
| There's the same number of people that are really truly elite at everything. | ||
| Right. | ||
| At everything. | ||
| At everything. | ||
| Whether it's hip-hop, whether it's comedy, whether it's physics, there's a certain level of people that are willing to put in the... | ||
| Champions in martial arts, champions in boxing. | ||
| There's a certain level of people. | ||
| And I think it's a state of humanity. | ||
| I think it's a state that we can achieve. | ||
| So when you watch a guy like Michael Jordan in his prime, I remember when I was a kid, I was never a basketball fan, but I grew up in Boston, and everybody would talk about Larry Bird, Larry Bird, Larry Bird. | ||
| And then I remember Larry Bird saying, playing basketball against Michael Jordan is like God disguised as Michael Jordan. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And I was like, holy shit. | ||
| If you watch him, you watch him play, if you watch the highlights, that's what you feel. | ||
| You feel unquestionable, undeniable greatness at a spectacular level. | ||
| And I think that exists in chess. | ||
| I think that exists in Jimi Hendrix. | ||
| I think that exists in comedy with Richard Pryor. | ||
| I think there's levels that there's the tip of the mountain that a few people get to. | ||
| And they just blast out some shit that changes everything. | ||
| And that's their quest. | ||
| That's like what's calling them. | ||
| It's calling them to reach levels of unachieved proficiency. | ||
| It's like the nigga that made crack. | ||
| That's why we can't really have... | ||
| Yeah, that's why we really can't have goats. | ||
| Who the fuck made crack, by the way? | ||
| FBI Asian made crack. | ||
| Well, they had freebase before crack. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| We did have freebase. | ||
| So somebody just figured out how to mass market. | ||
| That's how Richard Pryor burnt up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuck with that freebase. | ||
| Yeah, he was freebasing. | ||
| Think about all that, man. | ||
| That's why you can't really have goats. | ||
| Mike Tyson wouldn't exist if it wasn't for Jack Johnson. | ||
| Mike Tyson wouldn't exist if it wasn't for Larry Holmes. | ||
| He wouldn't exist if it wasn't for Ali. | ||
| All those people, not he wouldn't exist, but he wouldn't have been the same version of Mike Tyson that we experienced. | ||
| He wouldn't have had the tape to study to get to where he would be. | ||
| Exactly, 100%. | ||
| He's the best example of that because he was the best student. | ||
| True. | ||
| Because he constantly, like his, Jacobs, what was his manager's name? | ||
| Some, I forget, Jacobs. | ||
| Mike Tyson's early manager, he died as well, but he was a historian of boxing, and he had all these 16mm recordings of Harry Greb, old Jack Johnson, old fights from back in the day. | ||
| You get to watch Jim Jeffries. | ||
| You get to watch these dudes that exist. | ||
| Jimmy Jacobs, that's the man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Black dude. | ||
| Jimmy. | ||
| No, I think he's a white guy. | ||
| White guy. | ||
| Just had a wide nose. | ||
| But he was a crazy boxing historian. | ||
| I think he was actually a Jewish guy. | ||
| Really? | ||
| If I believe so. | ||
| He was a big time handball player. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he died, I think. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Him and Shelly Finkel were handling Mike Tyson's career, and Customato was the trainer early on in his career. | ||
| Shelly Finkel is also this legendary dude in the boxing world. | ||
| I remember I read Mike Tyson's book, and he said some shit like one day he was gone, and Robin Givens and her mom went to his accountant and tried to withdraw $10 million from his bank account. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| 10 million? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What? | ||
| And they like, why you won't give us the 10 million? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I'm like, yo. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I'm like, yo, bro. | ||
| Robin Givens was something else. | ||
| Something else, man. | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| Do you know the Brad Pitt story? | ||
| Nah. | ||
| Oh, you don't know? | ||
| Nah. | ||
| Oh, this is a great story. | ||
| Brad Pitt. | ||
| Brad Pitt started hooking up with Robin Givens after Mike Tyson. | ||
| So one day Mike Tyson shows up and Brad Pitt's there. | ||
| There's apparently some intense moment. | ||
| See if you can find that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Could you imagine being Brad Pitt? | |
| Maybe I'm wrong. | ||
| I might have the timeline wrong. | ||
| Maybe Brad Pitt was before. | ||
| I might be wrong. | ||
| I might be wrong. | ||
| There we go. | ||
| Just try to find the timeline. | ||
| Brad Pitt stole my wife. | ||
| I think Brad Pitt was fucking that bitch when she was on 21 Jump Street. | ||
| Can you imagine Brad Pitt and you are banging Mike Tyson's wife? | ||
| Like, oh my god. | ||
| I mean the balls. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| The balls it takes from that guy. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Or ex-wife. | ||
| He could have been Ron Goldman. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| When it comes to fucking bitches, Brad Pitt is one of my idols. | ||
| Is he? | ||
| That's your guy? | ||
| He's about as handsome as you're allowed to get. | ||
| You know why, too? | ||
| Because he's kind of rugged. | ||
| He's not just handsome. | ||
| That's why McConaughey works so well, too. | ||
| Yeah, it looked like he could survive on a ranch. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And Matthew McConaughey is like 60-something years old, man. | ||
| He look good for his fucking age. | ||
| He's a nice guy, man. | ||
| 60? | ||
| He damn near early 60s, man. | ||
| 50-something. | ||
| He old as fuck. | ||
| McConaughey don't crack shit. | ||
| He old as fuck. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| I'm like, goddamn, McConaughey. | ||
| He's another one. | ||
| I did a podcast with him. | ||
| Oh, he's down here. | ||
| We FaceTimed before we did the podcast. | ||
| And we FaceTimed. | ||
| I panicked. | ||
| I was like, I can't even believe I'm talking to Matthew McConaughey. | ||
| The scope of this is hilarious. | ||
| I really did. | ||
| From Willie Dean of the Ghetto Boys to Matthew McConaughey. | ||
| Hey, man! | ||
| I remember. | ||
| I'm a fan. | ||
| I'm a fan of a lot of fucking people. | ||
| That's one of those dudes that almost killed himself for a movie. | ||
| Dallas Buyers Club? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, he really got AIDS. I heard about that. | ||
| No, he didn't. | ||
| He really met it, man. | ||
| 50 Cent did that shit and it was trash, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| You remember 50 Cent got skinny for that movie? | ||
| He got skinny for a movie and it wasn't good. | ||
| What was that? | ||
| He fucked up. | ||
| You know who else fucked up too? | ||
| The other dudes. | ||
| Batman. | ||
| Christian Bale. | ||
| Christian Bale fucked up because he did it for a terrible movie. | ||
| The Machinist. | ||
| You see that movie? | ||
| He got the most death-like. | ||
| He did. | ||
| Look at 50 Cent. | ||
| Yeah, 50 was fucked up. | ||
| We could have sent 50 money, shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| 50 bounced back with power though. | ||
| Oh yeah, he bounced back. | ||
| So did Christian Bale. | ||
| Christian Bale did that Batman movie just six months. | ||
| Look how skinny he got. | ||
| But still, it looks kind of jacked. | ||
| It looks like Jamar. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| He's skinny as fuck for this shit. | ||
| But still kind of ripped. | ||
| He's got chest muscles. | ||
| Yeah, he's still Hollywood ripped. | ||
| Even there, he looks like a runner. | ||
| His face looks like shit, but his body looks like he's a runner. | ||
| He didn't get as bad as Christian Bale. | ||
| He looked like a Nigerian Olympic runner. | ||
| Yes, like the dude who's going to break the new world record in the marathon. | ||
| Yeah, but we didn't watch that movie. | ||
| Yeah, look how he's thin. | ||
| He looks like starving Marvin from South Park. | ||
| That shit's fucked. | ||
| His face is very thin, but he still has muscles. | ||
| Yeah, it's all definition. | ||
| Now go to Christian Bale in The Machinist. | ||
| Totally different animal. | ||
| When Christian Bale was in The Machinist, he looked like a dead man. | ||
| Like you could see, there was no chest muscles. | ||
| He was all ribcage. | ||
| It was freaky. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| That's really him. | ||
| How did you do that? | ||
| He starved himself. | ||
| He starved himself over months and months. | ||
| And that movie was trash. | ||
| He was eating like a can of tuna and an apple. | ||
| And you see he did that and then got fat for the, what's that, Vice? | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| Oh my God, that's one of the best movies I've ever seen. | ||
| I love Vice. | ||
| He's a bad motherfucker, that Christian Bale. | ||
| He got fat for a movie. | ||
| Big fan. | ||
| He got fat for a couple movies. | ||
| You ever see Harsh Times? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When he plays like a white cholo. | ||
| Yeah, he's like a white cholo and he comes back trying to get a job. | ||
| That shit was so hard. | ||
| That shit was so L.A. You know what was trash? | ||
| What? | ||
| The fucking movie that they tried to kind of make like that with Shia LaBeouf recently just came out. | ||
| I do remember that. | ||
| Trash. | ||
| Did not like it. | ||
| It wasn't like Harsh Time. | ||
| Well, he tried to be like a little cholo. | ||
| I think he actually was Mexican in that shit, man. | ||
| Oh, Shia LaBeouf tattooed his chest for real for that movie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he had cauliflower ear. | ||
| How did he get that? | ||
| He probably just had somebody break his ear. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| See? | ||
| Look at his ear. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| He really... | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Yeah, but listen to me. | ||
| I'm only going to say this once. | ||
| He's got the lokes on, too. | ||
| No. | ||
| This is what I'm going to say. | ||
| Right. | ||
| No. | ||
| He didn't convince me, buddy. | ||
| No. | ||
| You can't fake cauliflower ear. | ||
| Listen, man. | ||
| You can wear ear guards, you know, and you don't have to have that shit. | ||
| How did he do that? | ||
| He broke his ears. | ||
| He broke his fucking ears. | ||
| A lot of guys do it. | ||
| White belts do it. | ||
| How do you look like a cholo? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| Listen to me, man. | ||
| How do you break your ears? | ||
| White belts will do this. | ||
| They'll do it to themselves. | ||
| And with crazy people that want to have cauliflower ear, they take their ear and they just fuck it up. | ||
| If you just fuck your ear up and you can bend it and a lot of guys rub things on it or beat it with things, if you do that, your ear starts to bleed. | ||
| And when your ear starts to bleed, your ear is very thin, right? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| It's designed to take in sound. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's designed to echo the sound around these little weird shapes. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Well, in between that tissue is just cartilage and skin and it bleeds. | ||
| And when it bleeds, it fills up those areas and it calcifies and becomes hard as fuck. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| So it's not hard to do. | ||
| I could do it if I wanted to do it. | ||
| I just used to wear ear guards when I did jujitsu. | ||
| Smart, yeah. | ||
| So if somebody wanted to just give themselves a fucking nasty ear, I have little tiny pieces of it and shit, but it's not hard to do. | ||
| From jujitsu and shit like that? | ||
| Because I see all the fighters we have. | ||
| I'm glad you kept your ears though. | ||
| I wore ear guards all the time. | ||
| You gotta hear. | ||
| This is fucking stupid. | ||
| This is stupid. | ||
| And if you do get it, drain it, man. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Why don't they fix that shit? | ||
| Because they want to look like a badass. | ||
| But the thing about Shia LaBeouf, doing that for a movie shows his dedication. | ||
| The guy got his chest tattooed for a fucking movie, fully. | ||
| Was it real? | ||
| Was the ear real? | ||
| The tattoo may be real. | ||
| The ear is makeup. | ||
| Oh, the ear is makeup. | ||
| Good job. | ||
| That was a good makeup job. | ||
| But I do know guys that were white belts. | ||
| Who did that shit to their own ears. | ||
| Just look at bad asses. | ||
| And you could see them like, what are you doing to your ear, man? | ||
| They wanted it. | ||
| Like, people have talked about doing it. | ||
| Like, this is how I got my cauliflower ear. | ||
| No, you're supposed to get that shit like Waleed Ishmael. | ||
| You're supposed to earn that shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| Yeah, like Hoise Gracie and Hicks and Grace. | ||
| You gotta earn that shit. | ||
| Ugh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've seen that one. | ||
| Who was fighting? | ||
| I think it was fucking... | ||
| What's the dude that died, man? | ||
| They used to fight in the backyard all the time. | ||
| Kimbo. | ||
| He hit the dude with the cauliflower ear and it exploded in the ring. | ||
| You seen that shit before? | ||
| That was nasty. | ||
| That was nasty. | ||
| He hit the dude with the cauliflower ear. | ||
| I think that was in Elite XC, if I remember right. | ||
| It wasn't UFC. But he hit the dude and that shit exploded. | ||
| I was like, what the fuck? | ||
| That was a hell of a time. | ||
| I paid for that shit. | ||
| He's the first viral MMA star. | ||
| Yeah, because that was after, like, Bum Fights. | ||
| Remember those? | ||
| Remember when the Bum Fights were going down? | ||
| Bum Fights. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then Bum Fights was, like, Volume 3 or whatever the fuck it was. | ||
| And then Kimbo Slice came on the scene. | ||
| You're like, yo. | ||
| And that shit went viral, viral, viral. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was after you and the Mencia thing, actually. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's James Thompson, who's a beast. | ||
| That's James Thompson from the UK. Eating that dude's hand while he's exploding that guy's ear. | ||
| Plus, Kimbo's hairstyle was amazing. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| The bald, oh, amazing. | ||
| I loved it. | ||
| I loved it. | ||
| Sumo Slice. | ||
| Yeah, rest in peace, Kimbo Slice. | ||
| Rest in peace. | ||
| Rest in peace. | ||
| And listen, man, that guy had tremendous courage because he entered the Ultimate Fighter when he was already like a superstar online. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Did you ever see that fight with him and Sean Gannon? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| Listen to me. | ||
| One of the greatest fights in the history of all fights that people have fought. | ||
| Really? | ||
| This is how crazy it is. | ||
| You're saying that? | ||
| This is why. | ||
| This is why. | ||
| Because Kimbo Slice was an internet legend and he was fighting these guys bare knuckle. | ||
| Sean Gannon is a cop in Boston who's also an MMA fighter. | ||
| So they go into this fucking gym. | ||
| I mean, this gym is all kinds of fucked up. | ||
| This is in Massachusetts. | ||
| A bunch of people stand around betting on it. | ||
| And Kimbo Slice and Sean Gannon go to war. | ||
| But, see, Sean Gannon, like, you literally can't beat this guy enough. | ||
| He won't quit, especially at this time. | ||
| So Kimbo's punched his face up, but Sean's been in a bunch of mixed martial arts fights. | ||
| He just keeps going. | ||
| He knows, and by the way, this is only... | ||
| Boxing, right? | ||
| They're not allowed to kick. | ||
| They're not allowed to do anything else. | ||
| And Sean could kick him and strangle him if he wanted to. | ||
| And they got into a situation where there was a clinch. | ||
| And when Sean got him in a clinch, they said, no, no, no, no fucking choking. | ||
| No fucking choking. | ||
| And they all run back onto the set, like onto the gym area. | ||
| It was madness, dude. | ||
| It's fucking madness. | ||
| So Kimbo got tired because Sean Gannon's not going anywhere. | ||
| So here Sean Gannon hits him with a knee and everybody freaks out. | ||
| No, no fucking knees! | ||
| No fucking knees! | ||
| See this? | ||
| They're like, no, no, no. | ||
| Only hands. | ||
| Only hands. | ||
| And so he said, no, no, no. | ||
| You just said only stand up. | ||
| Well, stand up means knees. | ||
| And they didn't agree. | ||
| So... | ||
| They figured it out, they went back to fighting, and eventually Kimbo was just collapsing. | ||
| And Shawn beats him up and Kimbo falls to the floor. | ||
| This is wild shit. | ||
| The reason why I'm saying this is not because it's the greatest technical fight or the two best fighters ever. | ||
| It was one of the greatest fights because it was one of the first times that people got together on the internet and made something crazy happen. | ||
| Like all those dudes standing around were there live. | ||
| There's maybe 20 people there. | ||
| This is like a cockfight. | ||
| But it's not, because it's really like they made rules. | ||
| Like, you could go to the ground and, like, I forget what the count was, but it wasn't ten. | ||
| It was really fucking long. | ||
| So if, like, Kimbo went down at one point in time and they gave him a count... | ||
| This is wild shit, man. | ||
| Look how close everybody is. | ||
| While these guys are literally fighting for their lives. | ||
| They go to the ground and Gannon gets on top of Kimbo and he's beating him down and eventually they stop him and literally Kimbo's almost dead. | ||
| And Gannon's almost dead. | ||
| And Gannon's head at the end of this looks like a roast. | ||
| Like a rib roast. | ||
| A giant rib roast. | ||
| Look at his face. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Look at that giant hematoma over his eyebrow. | ||
| Dude, he's like the elephant man. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Insane. | ||
| He took it. | ||
| He took it, though. | ||
| And they filmed it. | ||
| And they did this at a gym. | ||
| And they gambled. | ||
| This is how they did this. | ||
| I don't remember what the stakes were, but one guy was this dude who was a porn producer in Miami. | ||
| And he was bankrolling Kimbo and bringing Kimbo everywhere. | ||
| And then there was some... | ||
| You know, some sketchy characters in Massachusetts that got behind this. | ||
| And if I remember, I think Sean Gannon might have lost his job as a cop because of this. | ||
| See if that's true. | ||
| He eventually fought in the UFC. That's dope. | ||
| Okay, good. | ||
| The dude was legit. | ||
| But dude, they fought to death's door. | ||
| They fought to death's door. | ||
| They did, dog. | ||
| They did. | ||
| To death's door. | ||
| I remember in high school, so you know Coach T, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| I probably told you the story last time, actually. | ||
| He always told me, he's just like, because people always wanted to fight him, because he was the big, you know, he's the big guy, you know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| But he would never fight anybody, but everybody was always trying to fuck with him. | ||
| And then he was like, there's only one guy who won't fight, and this is a kid named Jason Brady. | ||
| He said, I'll never fight. | ||
| I'm like, why? | ||
| He's like, you could beat anybody's ass. | ||
| Like, I've seen you literally knock dudes out and then be like, I told you this was going to happen, and knock them out again, you know what I mean? | ||
| He was those kind of guys. | ||
| He was Kimbo Slice. | ||
| And then Coach, he said, I will never fight this cat, Jason Brady, because Jason won't stop. | ||
| Those guys are scary. | ||
| That's what he said. | ||
| He's just like, you don't want to fight a nigga that's going to keep fighting you. | ||
| He's like, because I can knock you out, you're going to wake up and want to keep fighting me every day. | ||
| And I don't have time to fight you every day. | ||
| I had to go to school. | ||
| I had a nigga that we got in a fight when I was 17. And every time that we saw each other until we was about 28, we had a fight. | ||
| What? | ||
| Just hands or no weapons, really? | ||
| It had to be at least like 15 fights. | ||
| So it was just like, until we got to the point, we saw each other in the mall with our kids, and we was just like, hey man, can we drop this shit? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I'm like, can we stop this shit, man? | ||
| Because I'm going to fuck you up again, man. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So, he probably beat my ass probably like three times out of the 15. You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Because he caught me off guard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I'm saying? | |
| But for the most part, I was whooping his ass for years. | ||
| And we was just like, hey man, let's just stop this shit. | ||
| Seriously though, respect that you guys kept it to just fights. | ||
| Yeah, we definitely kept it to fights. | ||
| After all those years. | ||
| And didn't murder each other. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| I'm like, that's actually crazy. | ||
| That's why I fuck with him. | ||
| He my number one enemy. | ||
| Shout out to you. | ||
| You puss ass nigga, I'll whoop your ass again. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| I'm 12 and 3 against your punk ass. | ||
| As long as dudes can keep it to just fighting. | ||
| That motherfucker whooped my ass in front of my mama one day. | ||
| We sitting at the table. | ||
| What'd she say? | ||
| She said, damn, bitch-ass nigga, you got your ass whooped. | ||
| Did you? | ||
| Your mother said that's good for her. | ||
| She was like, damn, what the fuck wrong with you, nigga? | ||
| It's a powerful woman right there. | ||
| That nigga, we was at restaurant. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah, she's like, why you let that nigga whoop you like that? | ||
| Mama Gibbs said that? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| My mama ain't no bitch-ass nigga, man. | ||
| That's what it sounds like. | ||
| She ain't helped me either. | ||
| She said, hey, bitch-ass, you better stand up. | ||
| And I said, damn. | ||
| All right. | ||
| I'm looking at you like, damn bitch! | ||
| You ain't gonna help me? | ||
| Let me get my ass whooped. | ||
| There's another man. | ||
| There ain't no man. | ||
| Motherfucker was 15 or some shit like that. | ||
| Little nigga, man. | ||
| We was a teenager. | ||
| We was like 17 or something like that. | ||
| He whooped my ass at the restaurant, at the table with my mama, sitting right there with me, and she ain't helped me. | ||
| You're hilarious, bro. | ||
| Now, you know that for most people listening to this, you're going to think that is crazy. | ||
| You know that. | ||
| And most people are going to think, like, my life is not that hard. | ||
| My life was never that hard. | ||
| She didn't even say, hey, stop hitting. | ||
| She said... | ||
| Whoop that nigga. | ||
| And I couldn't do it. | ||
| I couldn't handle him that day. | ||
| Think about that. | ||
| Now think about being Jack Johnson. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Think about the levels that that guy had to go through. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In the turn of the century, as the heavyweight champion of the world, the first black heavyweight champion, imagine. | ||
| Imagine what he had to go through. | ||
| All of our trials and tribulations. | ||
| Oh my god, I got cold here for a week. | ||
| All this shit that we have to deal with today. | ||
| I barely had any cell service. | ||
| All this shit that we have to deal with. | ||
| As horrible as it is for the people that we lose. | ||
| Overall, it's so easy in comparison to back then. | ||
| It's so easy. | ||
| Way easy. | ||
| They say that's why we have anxiety and depression is because we don't fight lions, tigers, and bears anymore. | ||
| We're not fighting all that crazy shit back in the day. | ||
| So now it's like we're fighting just ourselves a lot because we're the kings of the mountain. | ||
| We just have to work out. | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| I'm telling you right now, I'm telling you right now, from my own personal experience, the people that are filled and riddled with anxiety, the people that can't handle the existential angst of your fucking temporary existence on this weird planet flying through the galaxy. | ||
| Rock spinning. | ||
| You gotta work out. | ||
| It's a stress reliever, man. | ||
| Blow it out of your system. | ||
| Your body has requirements, man. | ||
| Your body has some fucking requirements. | ||
| And if you don't give your body those requirements, it starts to reject you. | ||
| It starts to get angry at you and it creates problems. | ||
| It's a relationship. | ||
| I stop fucking with bitches that don't work out. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| You can condone that behavior. | ||
| Bitch, you don't do nothing with that shit. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Surgery is not the answer, bitch. | ||
| Oh, that's the wrong answer. | ||
| My baby mama just asked me to get some new surgery shit for her because she just had a bag. | ||
| I don't give a fuck, bitch. | ||
| I said, bitch, what the fuck I care about? | ||
| I don't give a fuck if your titties hit the floor. | ||
| I already got the pussy. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's your baby mama. | ||
| So? | ||
| Well, I can't condone that. | ||
| I know you can. | ||
| We can't condone that. | ||
| See, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| Black dudes, we got baby mamas. | ||
| You got a wife. | ||
| I'm gonna get a wife soon, though. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Kevin Federline, I think, kind of broke that mold, didn't he? | ||
| Kevin Federline is the quintessential white baby daddy. | ||
| He is the nigga that we strive to be. | ||
| Him and Tom Arnold when he married Roseanne. | ||
| Those are the goats. | ||
| But he got paid. | ||
| Oh, Tom Arnold got paid. | ||
| They both got paid. | ||
| Like a motherfucker. | ||
| Those are our goats, right? | ||
| Those are our goats. | ||
| That's our Muhammad Ali and Mike Tyson. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, definitely. | ||
| I mean, in terms of men making money off of a divorce? | ||
| Kevin Federline is sitting in LA chilling. | ||
| He's got a Ferrari. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's still? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| He's still making money. | ||
| He make like 80 grand a month? | ||
| Good for him. | ||
| That's nice. | ||
| For child support? | ||
| Yeah, child support. | ||
| Oh, my fucking God. | ||
| She recently won her own ability to make her own decisions. | ||
| Oh, did she? | ||
| Yeah, which is crazy. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| Hold on, won her ability? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| She had to go to court. | ||
| Her dad had conservorship. | ||
| I think that's what it's called. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's in the duck, right? | ||
| But, bro, it's super unusual for a grown-up. | ||
| She's a real grown-up. | ||
| She's almost 40, yeah. | ||
| She's almost 40. She has children. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And her father was in control of things. | ||
| Like, that's how wild she is. | ||
| The judges up until now were like, listen, you're not ready. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| 13 years. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| That's almost like going for court to an appeal. | ||
| Like, hey, man, I just want to get out of jail. | ||
| I think I'm ready. | ||
| You're not ready to go back in society. | ||
| 13 years, he had control of her. | ||
| The dad had control for 13 years? | ||
| From when she was 26 to now. | ||
| Oh, from 26? | ||
| Ain't that when she went? | ||
| Didn't she go crazy or some shit at 26, though? | ||
| You shaved your head, right? | ||
| Bro, who doesn't? | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Who doesn't? | ||
| That's that quarter-life crisis. | ||
| So the father approved that federalized shit. | ||
| You need your ass whooped, motherfucker. | ||
| The father wanted someone with a vested interest in taking care of the children and the court decided that he would get a certain allotment every month to keep living that lifestyle. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Accustomed to. | ||
| California will fuck you on the marriage shit. | ||
| They don't even have to be married, bro. | ||
| You don't even have to be married. | ||
| You just live together for a certain amount of time. | ||
| That's why I would never live with a bitch. | ||
| No, but California is the spirit airline of the states. | ||
| Never. | ||
| They charge for everything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Perfect relationship. | |
| Everything works out well. | ||
| Never again. | ||
| We've got to have separate homes. | ||
| You say that, but you might meet the right woman. | ||
| I'm going to change your mind. | ||
| Thank you, Dad. | ||
| You never know. | ||
| Leave the door open, Freddy. | ||
| I meet the right woman every week, Joe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no! | |
| I'll be the right woman every week. | ||
| Every week. | ||
| You gotta let a ho be a ho, Joe. | ||
| I got the right woman outside right now. | ||
| If I don't do ho shit, you gotta let them do that ho shit. | ||
| Come on, ball-headed ho shit. | ||
| Ball-headed ho shit is what I do. | ||
| It is weird if someone decides that you guys have been living so long that you're married. | ||
| I decide you're married. | ||
| Brian, I don't like it. | ||
| You've been living with that girl for 10 years. | ||
| Make her an honest woman. | ||
| Marriage is such a... | ||
| Yeah, no, no communism over here. | ||
| You become common law married. | ||
| Is that still real? | ||
| That's seven years, right? | ||
| Seven years. | ||
| Is that still real? | ||
| Yeah, if you live together, it's common law. | ||
| I thought that was only like in Mississippi or some shit like that. | ||
| No, I think it's legit in California. | ||
| Yeah, I think it is too. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| It's one of those weird ones. | ||
| I think this is like a time span. | ||
| Like, shit or get off the pot time span. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They give you like legally ten years. | ||
| So you got six years with a bitch that you gotta put her out, basically. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I'll put you out. | ||
| You gotta go live by yourself for you, bitch. | ||
| Because if we go past the seven, we common law, bitch. | ||
| We can't do that. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And by the way, bitch is a universal term, everybody. | ||
| Yeah, we just love, amongst loved ones. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's no gender. | ||
| Yeah, there's no race. | ||
| It's everybody. | ||
| Yeah, bitch is just, bitch is like, come on, man. | ||
| Like, Biden always says that. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| I love Joe Biden. | ||
| Oh, you put... | ||
| Alright. | ||
| What is it, Jamie? | ||
| This dude's Instagram stories... | ||
| Two years. | ||
| Two years you cohabitate in Texas and you might be... | ||
| Two years? | ||
| Two? | ||
| Two? | ||
| I'm trying to understand though. | ||
| It might be murky, but I'm trying to... | ||
| What is cohabitate? | ||
| If she keeps underwear at your apartment? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| What counts as cohabitate? | ||
| Yeah, toothbrush or something? | ||
| I'm just going to leave one pair of shoes here. | ||
| For two years, yeah. | ||
| There's a photo of her shoes in your closet. | ||
| You got forensics there, yeah. | ||
| The lawyer has a fucking piece of paper. | ||
| Are these her shoes? | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| In Texas law, if she parks her cowboy boots in your saloon... | ||
| Two years. | ||
| But Texas, I like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
24 months. | |
| I like their child support law because you can't get more than $2,500 a month. | ||
| Ever? | ||
| Ever. | ||
| No matter how much you make. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I think that's the law here. | ||
| Like, your bitch only get $2,500. | ||
| That's the cap. | ||
| They put a cap on you, bitch. | ||
| Really? | ||
| California don't give a fuck. | ||
| I heard Blake Griffin pay like... | ||
| Shit, what? | ||
| Six figures a month? | ||
| That's your man. | ||
| You remember I had him? | ||
| Blake Griffin is legitimately funny. | ||
| Yeah, he's legitimately funny. | ||
| He's really good. | ||
| He got fucked on that child support shit. | ||
| He did. | ||
| I mean, I'm hearing about it. | ||
| Yeah, it's fucked up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Nigga, you know about that shit. | ||
| That shit was fucked up. | ||
| He gave that bitch like a hundred bands a month, man. | ||
| How much? | ||
| It's six figures. | ||
| A hundred a month? | ||
| It's six figures. | ||
| That's California. | ||
| Blake, you ain't laughing about that shit, is you, Blake? | ||
| No, that's not funny. | ||
| But I fuck with Blake Griffin, though. | ||
| He about to get traded. | ||
| But wait a minute, he makes so much money that he's not sweating that. | ||
| I mean, who knows? | ||
| Fuck sweating it. | ||
| You know what, Joe? | ||
| It ain't even about how much money I make. | ||
| It's the principle. | ||
| Me giving a bitch a hundred grand a month. | ||
| What about the taxes that you gotta pay to the government, though? | ||
| I can't kill the government. | ||
| Welcome to your best podcast ever, Joe. | ||
| This podcast just got canceled. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| Nah, I won't kill the bitch. | ||
| But man, that will make me feel a way. | ||
| I will feel like you're robbing me. | ||
| Coming from the streets. | ||
| If I'm giving you a hundred grand a month, I feel like you're fucking robbing me, man. | ||
| Yeah, I am. | ||
| Unless there's protection involved. | ||
| She ain't giving me no protection. | ||
| Can you imagine if that was impossible? | ||
| Imagine if there was a set standard that anyone, man or woman, upon divorcing a more wealthy party, you're allotted $50,000 a year maximum and that's it. | ||
| But then like that person just take it. | ||
| But wouldn't that make relationships so much more honest? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Legitimately, yeah. | ||
| There'd be girls to be like, listen. | ||
| I'm here till we get divorced. | ||
| It's not even legal to hoe myself out. | ||
| So, you know, I can't do this with you. | ||
| Alimony is a motherfucker in California. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| California is a motherfucker. | ||
| Again, it's the Spirit Airlines Estates. | ||
| They want all your money all the time. | ||
| I know a girl that's a lawyer. | ||
| I can't do shit in California. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I know a girl that's a lawyer, and she divorced a dude, and she pays him like three grand a month, alimony. | ||
| She pays him. | ||
| She pays him, because she made more money. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| I said, bitch, you pay more to child support. | ||
| You pay more to be at child support, bitch. | ||
| The fuck? | ||
| Alimony? | ||
| Because he wanted to live the lifestyle. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| But the person that's married for five years. | ||
| But that's so weird. | ||
| Live the lifestyle you're accustomed to. | ||
| Isn't life about adapting? | ||
| You got fired. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Imagine if you got fired from the job and you're like, listen, I really enjoy driving this Ferrari, so I don't know what to tell you. | ||
| This is a lifestyle I'm accustomed to. | ||
| You might be firing me from this job, but I'm entitled to this lifestyle because I gave you all of my effort and all of my time for years. | ||
| I told that, bitch. | ||
| You can't say that in a job, but you can say that in a relationship. | ||
| And this is what I'm saying about California in general because there's like 30 billion in fraud, right? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| 30 billion in fraud. | ||
| In California? | ||
| Look it up, Jamie. | ||
| I'm not Joe. | ||
| I can't say young Jamie look it up. | ||
| What kind of fraud? | ||
| He'll look it up. | ||
| 30 billion in fraud in California. | ||
| Bitcoin fraud? | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| EDD. EDD fraud. | ||
| 30 billion? | ||
| I know we've talked about this. | ||
| 30 million. | ||
| 30 billion. | ||
| What is EDD? 30 billion. | ||
| EDD? White people don't know what EDD is. | ||
| Niggas, no. | ||
| Look, that's... | ||
| Oh my god, look at this. | ||
| California EDD admits paying as much as $31 billion in unemployment funds to criminals. | ||
| And guess who got paid another couple million? | ||
| Bank of America, because they run the EDD. Employment Development Department. | ||
| You ain't never heard of nobody that got the EDD? I know. | ||
| I'm remembering it. | ||
| It's an inner city thing, Joe. | ||
| Yeah, I'm remembering it. | ||
| It's a ghetto thing, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And it's like 70% in St. Louis, it's Miami, it's Chicago. | |
| Yeah, it's North Carolina. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| EDD, man. | ||
| Hey, man. | ||
| Look. | ||
| Talk to him. | ||
| A lot of niggas that's looking rich right now, man. | ||
| Off that EDD, man. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| They got that EDD. You know what I mean? | ||
| Everybody got a check. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Because everybody was trying to start businesses or fake like they were starting businesses. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| And they ran it up. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| And they was getting a credit card. | ||
| They had to put a goddamn sign in the Gucci store in Rodeo that said no EDD. Whoa. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| That's what you know. | ||
| Because niggas went straight to Rodeo. | ||
| They were there, Joe. | ||
| With the EDD. I sent you that video, too, with that dude. | ||
| He looked like one of the Migos, and he was just throwing the money out because it wasn't his. | ||
| He had 60-something EDD cards that weren't his. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it's like you'll get a bunch of cards. | ||
| So what they do, they get a bunch of cards on somebody's name. | ||
| Exclusive. | ||
| And be running it up, man. | ||
| Hold on a second. | ||
| He's got that ad blocker he's going to remove. | ||
| This is hilarious. | ||
| Exclusive. | ||
| Posh Beverly Hills stores are being plagued with customers. | ||
| Look how they put Customers in quotes. | ||
| Customers? | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| They're paying. | ||
| No, they're actual customers. | ||
| Using stolen unemployment benefit debit cards. | ||
| They're still customers. | ||
| They're just thieves. | ||
| Lots of cash from ATMs using the cards. | ||
| Because you got your card, you can get a thousand a day off your card in the ATM. Look at this. | ||
| Wow, that's crazy. | ||
| As police crack down and urge boutiques like Gucci and Louis Vuitton to vet shoppers. | ||
| Now, here's a thought. | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| We know that Jack Johnson and Jack Dempsey, they had a struggle. | ||
| They had a struggle. | ||
| That's who they were. | ||
| No EDD. With all the resources that people have today, do you think it would be possible to give what Andrew Yang's idea, have a universal basic income that covers everything so no one ever has to worry? | ||
| In terms of like, you have food, you have shelter, 100%. | ||
| Basically like they do in Switzerland. | ||
| Similar. | ||
| Yeah, similar to that. | ||
| Because we all want to think that there's like a certain level of struggle that you have to endure. | ||
| But where does that start? | ||
| Where does it start? | ||
| Does it start with you abandoning your children in the woods? | ||
| No, it doesn't. | ||
| Does it start with every man for himself? | ||
| No, we don't do that anymore. | ||
| Does it start with every town attacks the next town? | ||
| No, no, we don't do that anymore either. | ||
| Okay, where does it... | ||
| Where do we decide we take care of everybody's medical expenses, everybody's food, and everybody's housing? | ||
| And then have all of our resources into helping everybody who comes out of the place that has free food, free housing, and free medical expenses. | ||
| Everybody that comes out of there, and you find out what they're good at. | ||
| And you help them. | ||
| And you make a better country. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| You make a better human race. | ||
| You make a better world. | ||
| We're not talking about breathing underwater. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| This shit could be done. | ||
| It can be. | ||
| This is the problem I have. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| We were talking about the food deserts offline a little bit, and I was like, of all the money happening, of all the shit that everybody's saying, I'm like, I still haven't seen anybody put a Vons or a CVS in any of the hoods or rural communities, the sticks, or the barrios anywhere, but they keep talking about it. | ||
| We keep talking about vitamins and talking about this virus, but nobody's doing it. | ||
| Nah. | ||
| They just keep saying, stay in the house. | ||
| It's capitalism, man. | ||
| I think there's plenty of struggle. | ||
| I can't spend or make money if I can't get out the house. | ||
| I seen a picture yesterday with a dump truck full of food that they was getting rid of. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Oh, I've seen some of those. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| So it's just like, we waste so much. | ||
| We waste a lot of food. | ||
| A lot of food in this country, man. | ||
| Anthony Bourdain, before he died, was doing a documentary on it. | ||
| I don't know what the status of that is, if they're going to continue doing it. | ||
| A lot of food. | ||
| Yeah, the fact that there's food pantries, there's tons of food being wasted. | ||
| Well, if you go to a restaurant, how many times you go to a restaurant, you leave like a quarter of your steak on the plate? | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Do you want to take it home? | ||
| Nah, I'm good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're like, okay, now it's just going to get thrown out. | ||
| Hey, the restaurants that were just open, the comedy store had just closed, right? | ||
| And they had, you know, they had food, they had to go back, they just had to throw it out. | ||
| You just wasted all them goddamn eggs, motherfucker, at the breakfast right now. | ||
| Exactly, yeah, exactly. | ||
| All them fucking eggs. | ||
| You're talking, I don't want them eggs. | ||
| You did the same thing, by the way, you was there. | ||
| You ate the stuff. | ||
| We had the same, we had the same plate. | ||
| Shit was good. | ||
| You didn't eat the whole thing. | ||
| Barbecue or taco. | ||
| You didn't eat that shit either, nigga. | ||
| I ate all the meat. | ||
| You eat the eggs, though. | ||
| They got a different kind of Mexican food out here. | ||
| That Tex-Mex. | ||
| I already lost on somebody at the bus, bro. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| We all love it, don't we? | ||
| We do. | ||
| Who doesn't love throwing up? | ||
| Waste all the goddamn food, man. | ||
| It's the same fucking thing, though. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| If you know that that dude knows that you love him, and you know this is all fun, we're all having a good time, you can throw your friend deep under the bus. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Deep. | ||
| And it's a test. | ||
| It's a test of your friendship. | ||
| It's a test. | ||
| You can't be my friend if I can't throw you under the bus. | ||
| I can't talk to you. | ||
| I can't hang out with you. | ||
| You get offended by shit? | ||
| As long as it's cool and funny, as long as I'm just defending myself in front of a bunch of people I'm attracted to. | ||
| There's a balance. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| It's like, this nigga got herpes and he's in an outbreak right now. | ||
| Jesus Christ! | ||
| Right. | ||
| He still pees in the bed. | ||
| You know, like that kind of shit. | ||
| I mean, you know, when it comes to the hoes, you got a dirty Mac to your friend sometimes. | ||
| I'm like, hey, fuck this nigga. | ||
| I'm like, bitch, don't fuck with this nigga. | ||
| He ain't even got gas. | ||
| Man, I had a roommate who did that same shit. | ||
| There was a girl he was so into, and I didn't want her anymore what was happening. | ||
| And she came over because she wanted to... | ||
| See what's gonna happen. | ||
| And then he was like, man, don't fuck with that guy. | ||
| He's an asshole. | ||
| And I'm like, Negro, I pay you a rent. | ||
| Like, what are you talking about? | ||
| We were just talking about that shit. | ||
| I dirty-macked the basketball players all the time. | ||
| I can't compete with them motherfuckers. | ||
| They got 100 men. | ||
| I gotta talk shit about they bitch ass so I can fuck they bitch. | ||
| Fuck you, nigga. | ||
| Hell yeah, but dirty-macked the fuck out shit. | ||
| Punk-ass NBA nigga. | ||
| Freddie Gibbs, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| I recommend his Essentials on iTunes. | ||
| It fueled me through my workout today. | ||
| It's raw and gritty and honest. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| And shout out to Instagram. | ||
| Fuck y'all niggas for banning me, man. | ||
| I'm coming back. | ||
| Tell me what happened. | ||
| Man, they banned my page, man. | ||
| Moses told me that was the most attractive thing about you. | ||
| Dog. | ||
| The funniest... | ||
| I mean, like, legendary. | ||
| You wouldn't believe it he was getting away with. | ||
| You're like, how do you get this shit? | ||
| I was just posting all kinds of shit, like kids getting beat up and, you know, people falling and, you know, just hilarious. | ||
| Crackheads eating ass. | ||
| Crackheads eating ass. | ||
| Oh, you put that one on your Instagram? | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| I saw that one. | ||
| It was more than once. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He put a raccoon last week that was frozen here in Austin. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We need to find out what is going on in people's brains for real. | ||
| We need some sort of Instagram where they don't give a fuck. | ||
| What was that live leak? | ||
| Was that what it was called? | ||
| Live Leaks, that shit was lit. | ||
| Yeah, Live Leak was the place where you see the most death animals pulling people out of cars. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| People getting hit by buses. | ||
| I'm about to start that. | ||
| I got that app on the way. | ||
| Right now. | ||
| The top video is a little kid falling out of a moving vehicle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at this. | |
| A little kid falling out of a moving vehicle. | ||
| Live Leak is all like the worst shit you can possibly see. | ||
| The worst shit ever. | ||
| I love Live Leaks. | ||
| The worst shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like the fucking engine blowing up on the United Airlines flight. | ||
| Yeah, I posted that shit on my shit. | ||
| On my Instagram. | ||
| Pacing a... | ||
| Passenger allegedly kicked off a Florida flight, like that kind of shit. | ||
| Protesters played mariachi music gathered in front of Ted Cruz's house. | ||
| You know, really, to be honest, this ain't shit. | ||
| My Instagram page is way better than LiveLeaks. | ||
| I be having shit before LiveLeaks get it. | ||
| Someone needs to step in. | ||
| I got you there late, but man, his Instagram story, they're legendary. | ||
| Legitimately legendary. | ||
| I got a new one right now. | ||
| Is this you always popping? | ||
| No, that ain't me. | ||
| No, that's not me. | ||
| I'm Cocaine Bunny. | ||
| Oh, cocaine bunny. | ||
| That's my fake one. | ||
| Yeah, you can't tell nobody. | ||
| Yeah, you can't tell nobody. | ||
| That's my fake one. | ||
| Well, we won't let anybody know. | ||
| Bro, you put some shit on today. | ||
| Can you beep that out? | ||
| Can we beep out what he said it was? | ||
| Just for the fuck of it? | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I want to be able to... | ||
| Subscribe. | ||
| Yeah, you should subscribe. | ||
| I want to be one of your followers. | ||
| Yeah, because he has like categories and shit. | ||
| That's why it's so funny because they have like, the fuck? | ||
| And it's just like, it's some crazy random shit. | ||
| You're like, what the fuck is this? | ||
| Listen, man, they're all going to eventually have to give up and let people be uncensored. | ||
| They are. | ||
| We have to find out what people want and don't want. | ||
| And if you keep people from talking, you fuck up the whole thing. | ||
| You fuck up their growth. | ||
| You fuck up everybody's growth. | ||
| Yeah, because people can't just unsubscribe. | ||
| That's the beauty of America. | ||
| That's why people keep saying, like, we need to end racism. | ||
| I'm like, wait, you're going to end freedom of thought? | ||
| Yeah, but the thing is, like, they're doing it for profit. | ||
| This is why they're panicking. | ||
| Because, like, Gatorade or whoever, Toyota, they don't want to advertise on some shit where you're talking about, like, real things people are actually thinking about. | ||
| Like, anything that gets dark. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Imagine if, like, no one gave a fuck about porn. | ||
| If porn was normal. | ||
| Like, you brush your teeth, you watch porn. | ||
| Everybody does it. | ||
| It's normal. | ||
| Right, and nobody's outraged. | ||
| How much money is being missed because of our shame? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You feel me? | ||
| Look at the drug industry. | ||
| You're telling me you don't buy Nikes and Jerkoff? | ||
| That doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Bruh. | ||
| That makes no sense to me. | ||
| You don't drive a- It's a billion dollar industry for a reason. | ||
| It's the same thing as the cartels. | ||
| I was going to say drive a Tesla, but Tesla, that's how much this motherfucker understands things. | ||
| He doesn't advertise. | ||
| You don't see a Tesla ad? | ||
| Not at all. | ||
| That's the number one car company in America. | ||
| You don't see an ad for them. | ||
| No, it's all word of mouth. | ||
| He doesn't even get a discount. | ||
| Really? | ||
| If Elon Musk wants to buy a car from Tesla, he has to pay. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| Full price. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| No one gets a discount. | ||
| No one gets a discount. | ||
| Everybody pays full price. | ||
| Even me. | ||
| I made this motherfucker. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| Even him. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| That's the way you should be. | ||
| Damn, that's crazy. | ||
| I say the same shit about politicians. | ||
| They should move to the hood. | ||
| Don't live in the White House. | ||
| Jamie, I'm going to send you some shit about Gavin Newsom. | ||
| Ain't no goddamn politician going to move to the hood. | ||
| Cory Booker did. | ||
| Mary and Barry did. | ||
| He smoked crack, too. | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| You know, I met Mary and Barry when he was just re-elected. | ||
| He was just re-elected. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| After the crack, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| After the crack. | ||
| It's like, 94? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Jamie, I just... | ||
| Crack his back, nigga. | ||
| It was in 94. Maybe it was after. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I was in the studio. | ||
| It disappeared. | ||
| It was only available for a second. | ||
| I think I texted it to you, though. | ||
| Mary and Barry was like, bitch, set me up! | ||
| Shut me up. | ||
| You were smoking crack, though, bro. | ||
| No, no, this is what happened. | ||
| We were sitting in a studio. | ||
| It was me and Jim Norton and Obi and Anthony, and I forget who else was a guest, but Mary and Barry was walking right by these big glass doors at Sirius XM. And he was just walking right by. | ||
| He was on some other show. | ||
| Someone go, go grab him! | ||
| Go grab him! | ||
| Get him in here! | ||
| So we open up the door, and Marion Barry just walks right in. | ||
| And he sits down. | ||
| And then, is he gone? | ||
| Is he dead? | ||
| Yeah, Marion Barry's dead. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Rest in peace. | ||
| Rest in peace, Marion Barry. | ||
| You one of the most famous crack-smoking ass niggas of all time. | ||
| I'm sitting there, and I know I got a couple seconds with this dude. | ||
| And so all my predatory instincts kick in. | ||
| And I'm like, we gotta get right to this. | ||
| They're gonna pull him out of here. | ||
| As soon as they know what this show's all about. | ||
| Because we're a bunch of comedians. | ||
| Fucking high. | ||
| It's 7 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| What did y'all say to me? | ||
| I was high as fuck, dude. | ||
| I was eating pot lollipops and shit. | ||
| And I was like, we talked about him smoking crack. | ||
| And one of the things, I brought it up really quick. | ||
| But he said, he goes, hold on, no one knows what's in that pipe? | ||
| That's what he said. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No one knows what was in that fight. | |
| That's the illest. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I would vote for that guy because that's a hell of a politician. | ||
| It's a good move. | ||
| I like what he's saying. | ||
| I like what he's saying. | ||
| I like how he's trying to do it. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| He's like, no, that's tobacco. | ||
| You know, it's like no one knows what's in a hot dog. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, you see the bun. | ||
| You see the hot dog. | ||
| Can you give an... | ||
| What percentage would you get correct in terms of ingredients? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right, though. | ||
| Like, right now! | ||
| If they give you a test. | ||
| I wouldn't even. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I wouldn't even. | ||
| I'd be like, I don't know. | ||
| Pigtail, pig butt. | ||
| Who knows what's in there? | ||
| Dicks and feet. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Feet and all kinds of shit in the hot dog. | ||
| All kinds of shit. | ||
| Yeah, damn. | ||
| So that was it. | ||
| Oh, there's an audio? | ||
| Oh, see, play it. | ||
| Oh, yeah, Jim Jeffries was in there, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Set it up. | |
| And we don't know what was in that pipe. | ||
| I told you. | ||
| I fucking told you. | ||
| You got two things playing at the same time. | ||
| Yeah, that was it. | ||
| We don't know what was in that pipe. | ||
| What is this Wii shit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They used that situation, set it up, and we don't know what was in that pipe. | |
| The jury didn't convict me of anything at the vista. | ||
| And so that crack story started with that. | ||
| Go before that, because let's see how I brought it up to him. | ||
| Because I remember being really high. | ||
|
unidentified
|
In D.C. and going, am I going to smoke a little crack now and then? | |
| Smoking crack came back and won again. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Wait, go back to the beginning of that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're listening to Opie and Anthony. | |
| Is that Marion Barry? | ||
| Bring him in! | ||
| Oh, hilarious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get him in here, Jimmy! | |
| Get him in here! | ||
| Marion Barry is right outside. | ||
| Former governor of Washington, D.C., got busted smoking crap. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Governor of Washington, D.C. That's how high I was. | |
| One of the biggest comebacks ever. | ||
| Got caught smoking crap. | ||
| Washington, D.C., you can be a mayor, but it's not really a city. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| I'm half right. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| It's the wrong... | ||
| He is the mayor, for sure, but Washington, D.C. is not exactly a city. | ||
| Most of the population agree. | ||
| They're like, sure, we do. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| They went to the worst neighborhoods and found the worst crackheads and interviewed them. | ||
| Mr. Marion Barry walked in here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Give him a microphone right now. | |
| Wow. | ||
| Where the fuck was this at? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What happened? | |
| We'll be nice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We'll be nice. | |
| We just wanted to say hi to Mary. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How many are you in here? | |
| One, two, three, four. | ||
| Yeah, we got a lot of people in here today. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no, no. | |
| No, no, no. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| A story of an inspirational story to a lot of people because things went bad at one point and then all of a sudden you came back and You know Jim not when you got redemption Jim Norton is like the nicest guy look how he sets that up like Marion Barry walks in and Jim Norton sets it up like Like, he's nice to the guy. | ||
| Let's him know. | ||
| We're going to talk about your crack. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's truly so important because most of the media outside of Washington, D.C., most of the people outside of Washington, D.C., only know me through 15-second news clips or 30-second news clips or some negative article in the newspaper. | |
| They don't know about my 50 years of service and 35 years of political life in Washington and being very successful helping a lot of people. | ||
| So that's why that's important. | ||
| I was walking by and heard you all say something about Being popped for smoking crack. | ||
| Put that in context. | ||
| The FBI spent 25 to 40 million dollars trying to entrap me. | ||
| They couldn't find anything financial on me because I don't dip into the till. | ||
| They used that situation, set it up, and we don't know what was in that pipe. | ||
| Because the jury didn't convict me of anything at the Vista. | ||
| And so that crack story started with that. | ||
| But there's been no evidence. | ||
| We don't know what was in it. | ||
| I mean, I was up there for some other reason, quite frankly. | ||
| What did you think was that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I took one drag on it. | |
| Do you feel that they were trying to railroad you because they didn't like what you were doing? | ||
| What year did he get caught smoking crack? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| I don't think anybody did, but here's the thing. | ||
| So what? | ||
| What if he was just drinking? | ||
| Right, though. | ||
| Listen to all the things he just said there. | ||
| Now, I've changed my perspective since this happened. | ||
| Getting older and more experienced in life. | ||
| But also realizing, like, hey, the guy, if he did a good job as mayor, who gives a shit if he gets high? | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| If he gets home and shooting heroin, he's got a butt plug up his ass and Oculus Rift on, and he's tripping balls on ketamine, why do I give a fuck? | ||
| Is this guy saving education? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| Is he providing health care? | ||
| Is he making it safer for people? | ||
| Is he bringing people together? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Is he letting people know, hey, we have more in common? | ||
| FBI tried to kill me. | ||
| Well, they might have. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| How did they have the hidden camera? | ||
| FBI's killed a lot of people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| As the governor of DC, yeah. | ||
| Who hid the camera? | ||
| That's what I want to know. | ||
| Who hid the camera? | ||
| Like Willie D said, you gotta let a ho be a ho. | ||
| And sometimes some gals need a little money, they'll hire a camera. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is what you gotta do, Cindy Lou. | |
| Stupid ass bitch, hear the camera. | ||
| We ain't smoking crack, bitch. | ||
| All this good crack in here, you wanna have a camera. | ||
| And the thing is, I mean, for the most part, he's partying. | ||
| He's just like, hey, listen, man. | ||
| Why is it bad? | ||
| Why is it bad? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Does he fuck up his job? | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| If he shows up Monday morning, he's cracked out and decides to nuke China. | ||
| You know? | ||
| What kind of bombs we got? | ||
| You're like, okay, okay, okay. | ||
| Yeah, if he's a real... | ||
| Yeah, if he's like a degenerate crackhead. | ||
| But he wasn't a... | ||
| He was a functioning... | ||
| But what if he just sits in a chair? | ||
| What if he sits in a chair? | ||
| I never heard. | ||
| What if he's got a lazy boy and he puts his feet up and he just keeps pounding? | ||
| Just keeps pounding whiskey. | ||
| Your Columbia professor. | ||
| Yeah, it just gets... | ||
| No, way worse than that guy. | ||
| What if he's doing what's legal, but he's in a chair and he's just not going anywhere, just pounding it? | ||
| How come that's okay? | ||
| Well, talk about the effects of crack, Freddy. | ||
| Freddy? | ||
| Freddy? | ||
| Cracked out Freddy. | ||
| Talk about the effects of crack. | ||
| Everybody handled drugs differently, man. | ||
| Put that up there, dear Jimmy. | ||
| Marion Barry, 76, says further down in the interview that he believes the FBI was trying to get him to smoke a substance as high as 90% pure cocaine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| Damn, bitch. | ||
| And chemists at Barry's subsequent trial testified that the drug used in the sting operation was in fact 93% pure cocaine. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| So they might have been... | ||
| They catfished him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They might have been trying to get him to die. | ||
| Well, I'm going to tell you this right now. | ||
| Oh my God, look at this. | ||
| They had an EMT on the spot. | ||
| Oh, they did try to kill him, for real. | ||
| Yeah, not only unusual, but rare in the history of the FBI. Barry noted as he offered evidence to support his claims, the FBI attempted to kill me. | ||
| Why would they have an EMT on the scene if they weren't trying? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| We had to let him inhale. | ||
| It says at the bottom, the FBI official says, the purpose of the medical standby was to provide potential medical attention to Marion Barry should his criminal activities require it. | ||
| His criminal activities that they brought the fucking coke for! | ||
| They brought the coke! | ||
| They made this nigga smoke crazy! | ||
| This is my problem with QAnon, Joe! | ||
| They don't talk about this shit! | ||
| They don't talk about this shit! | ||
| They don't talk about Coin& Tell Pro, they don't talk about the Tuskegee experience, they don't talk about Marion Barry being set up by the FBI, they only talk about weird, these are people trying to fuck kids! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I never thought... | ||
| They never talk about that shit. | ||
| It's always like Oprah and Jeffrey Epstein. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But you don't want to talk about the $4.4 billion that the Catholic Church was paid. | |
| People are tribal. | ||
| They're tribal. | ||
| And they don't hang out with you. | ||
| They don't hang out with people that are interested in that or that story. | ||
| If you're hanging around with a bunch of flat earthers that believe that there's a basement somewhere where all the kids get fucked, that's all you think about all day long. | ||
| But that actually happened to Mary and Barry. | ||
| You don't have time to listen to Cornel West. | ||
| You don't have time. | ||
| We're just reading FBI documents every once in a while. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It's like you're so wrapped up in your own bullshit. | ||
| You're so wrapped up in being tribal. | ||
| You don't have time. | ||
| I thought Marion Barry bought that crack off the corner. | ||
| He smokes them. | ||
| You're talking about some 90%. | ||
| I was like, that ain't no regular crack. | ||
| That's some FBI crack. | ||
| FBI crack. | ||
| That's Iran-Contra crack. | ||
| Yeah, that's some different kind of crack. | ||
| Ain't no crack 90% cocaine. | ||
| 93% they even said. | ||
| Me listening to him talking about it has changed my perspective. | ||
| I bet. | ||
| Also, me listening to me describe the video that I saw where all these people are like, nothing wrong with smuggling a little crack every now and then. | ||
| I remember seeing that. | ||
| I remember thinking at the time, these people are crazy. | ||
| They reelected him, and look, they don't care about crack. | ||
| They don't get it, right. | ||
| Now... | ||
| As a grown man who understands media, I realize, oh no, no, there's probably a broad range of opinions. | ||
| There's probably a lot of people that go, hey, what do you give a fuck if he's smoking crack, if he does a great job with the budget? | ||
| I don't know if he did. | ||
| Who gives a fuck? | ||
| I don't know if he did. | ||
| I literally know nothing about the guys. | ||
| If he's bad, don't re-elect him. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But they did, though. | ||
| Right, they did. | ||
| Yeah, but I don't think, was he bad? | ||
| That's all I'm trying to figure out. | ||
| Maybe they missed him. | ||
| Maybe the new guy got in place and he was boring and maybe Marion did a good job and smoked crack. | ||
| That's possible too. | ||
| Like Burt Kreischer. | ||
| He's a funny comedian and he's a drunk. | ||
| I was like, dude, Burt smokes crack? | ||
| No. | ||
| How much is there a difference? | ||
| Well, one's illegal. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's the only difference. | ||
| I don't know if he did a good job. | ||
| I don't either. | ||
| But let's assume he did. | ||
| But if he didn't do a good job, you should be mad at him for the job that he did that he fucked up. | ||
| Not for the fact that someone who set him up busted him smoking crack with a fucking EMT camera. | ||
| An EMT crew behind them. | ||
| Hey, this shit's fire, bro. | ||
| You need to stay on him just in case he has a heart attack like Lin Bias. | ||
| That's crazy as fuck. | ||
| That's Lin Bias scale coke that they gave him. | ||
| Meanwhile, how hilarious is it that because cocaine's illegal, 93% is crazy high? | ||
| Right! | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is! | |
| But I want to know, how did they get the... | ||
| You wouldn't pick a virus that's 93%? | ||
| Imagine if you got 93% vodka. | ||
| Where's my vodka, bitch? | ||
| 7% is water, you fucking cunts! | ||
| It's Coors Light! | ||
| I want to know how they got that in a crack recipe. | ||
| 93% cocaine? | ||
| It's mostly soda. | ||
| It's mostly baking soda. | ||
| That wasn't crack he was smoking. | ||
| He was smoking cocaine. | ||
| It's the same thing according to Carl Hart. | ||
| He probably thought it was weed. | ||
| He's just like little Cocoa Puffs ain't nothing. | ||
| It's different. | ||
| It's also different in where you're doing it. | ||
| If you're in Vegas and you're in a fucking suite and you're overlooking the neon signs and you're doing coke, you're doing coke. | ||
| Remember the governor who didn't win in Florida, the black dude? | ||
| Which governor? | ||
| Sorry, he's not the governor. | ||
| He was running for it. | ||
| I forget the cat's name now. | ||
| The black dude from Florida. | ||
| He was running against DeSantis. | ||
| And he lost, but he was close. | ||
| It was like the closest ever a black dude had ever come to taking governor. | ||
| Anyway, last year he got caught in a hotel room doing meth. | ||
| With a couple dudes. | ||
| Let him go. | ||
| With a couple dudes. | ||
| Let it go. | ||
| He just came out, I want to say a few months ago, on Oprah, or one of those Oprah-type talk shows, and said, oh yeah, I'm bi, my wife is cool with it, and I like to party a little bit. | ||
| Okay, he's Alexander the Great. | ||
| But people loved his politics. | ||
| They were going to vote for this guy, because he's a black dude, and he had great politics, against DeSantis and his crazy Florida politics, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they were like, we like this guy. | ||
| And all of a sudden it was just like, oh shit. | ||
| Damn, you smoke meth. | ||
| He smokes meth and hangs out with dudes. | ||
| He's bi. | ||
| But who gives a fuck? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Do the job. | ||
| Do the job. | ||
| A year ago. | ||
| Look, if you had to choose between a guy who wears a wig, who has giant fake eyelashes, and rubber lips, but balances LA's economy to a T. Bro, look at Marv Albert. | ||
| Keeps all the restaurants open. | ||
| Look at Marv Albert, one of the greatest announcers in history. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Like to wear heels! | ||
| Yeah, freak! | ||
| He likes to get crazy. | ||
| I thought he just bit a bitch on the ass. | ||
| That too! | ||
|
unidentified
|
That too! | |
| Tag a nigga that eat ass. | ||
| Tag a nigga that eat ass. | ||
| Marvin Albert. | ||
| According to the document, an incapacitated Gillum. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who's Gillum? | ||
| Andrew Gillum, right? | ||
| Had been found by police in Miami Beach hotel room with a male sex worker, baggies that the cops suspected contained crystal meth and other narcotics. | ||
| And a third man. | ||
| Damn, they ran a train on that ass, bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A third man. | |
| A third man who called 9-1-1. | ||
| Nigga smoked meth and got a train ran on his ass. | ||
| I think that's what I'm going to title my book. | ||
| A third man who called 9-1-1. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| A third man. | ||
| It's a memoir. | ||
| That's going to be my book. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And a third man who called 9-1-1. | |
| A third man who called 9-1-1. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The third man that called 911. And the third man who called 911. Who's the third man? | |
| Yeah, because by the way, they didn't even listen to that dude. | ||
| They didn't listen to his job or nothing. | ||
| They just said, this is a sex worker. | ||
| This other dude works at Carl Jr. It was a rich dude in LA. Oh, I know. | ||
| You're talking about the guy who donated to the party? | ||
| It was purposely drugging these sex workers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was drugging the sex worker dudes and killing them. | |
| More than one! | ||
| Pull him up, please. | ||
| Pull that bitch ass thing up. | ||
| Ed Buck. | ||
| Ed Buck. | ||
| That's his name, Ed Buck? | ||
| Wait a minute, is that the... | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's him. | ||
| But isn't there a Joe Buck? | ||
| Joe Buck is... | ||
| Joe Buck on Fox. | ||
| He's a sports guy. | ||
| I got panic. | ||
| I thought we were putting the dirty shame on the wrong dude. | ||
| No, different... | ||
| No relation. | ||
| His name is Ed Buck. | ||
| I'm sorry, Joe Buck. | ||
| Ed Buck, is he in jail? | ||
| Look at him like Joe Buck. | ||
| Ed Buck killed a lot of people, man. | ||
| Ed Buck's trial has been postponed again. | ||
| Because he's got money. | ||
| And further delay could follow. | ||
| See? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because he got money. | ||
| Because he was a huge Democratic super donor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| The previous delayed criminal trial of Ed Buck on federal charges relating to the methamphetamine overdose deaths of two black men on separate occasions at his former residence in West Hollywood has been rescheduled from next week to April 20th. | ||
| Right, you OD'ing. | ||
| Yeah, because Buck would actually administer the needles to these cats. | ||
| Bro, Tom Segura sent me a video that will haunt me for the rest of my time on this planet. | ||
| And he does this show. | ||
| Tom Segura does these Your Mom's House podcasts where people have to pay to see it. | ||
| And they'll stream shit. | ||
| There's no fucking way you could ever put on... | ||
| YouTube or Vimeo. | ||
| One of them. | ||
| With these guys fisting each other. | ||
| And I'm talking elbow deep. | ||
| It's madness. | ||
| I mean madness. | ||
| You're watching this happen. | ||
| These people are not going to survive. | ||
| Two dudes. | ||
| A bunch of guys. | ||
| A lot of guys are doing this. | ||
| Calisthenics. | ||
| They're having these prolapses. | ||
| These anal prolapses. | ||
| Assholes coming out. | ||
| This other guy grabs a hold of the two of them and rubs them together. | ||
| Oh, I heard about this video. | ||
| Rubs the prolapsed anuses. | ||
| Rubs them together like they're sea cucumbers. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Like you've... | ||
| Bro. | ||
| Sex stunts, man. | ||
| Those are sex stunts. | ||
| You gotta realize, there's people out there that don't care. | ||
| They think of things a different way than you or I. So a nigga flip two assholes inside out. | ||
| Inside out. | ||
| Like a sock. | ||
| Like, you ever take your jacket off and you try to put it back on and you realize, oh, I forgot my hoodie. | ||
| It's inside out. | ||
| Rappers ain't doing that shit, Fred. | ||
| Rappers ain't doing that shit. | ||
| Did Tom find that or did someone see it and think of Tom Segura instantly? | ||
| And like, Tom has to see this. | ||
| That's a very good question, Jamie. | ||
| There's some Eric Andre shit flipping assholes. | ||
| If Eric Andre was free, if he wasn't contained by cable television, he would be able to show all the assholes. | ||
| That's why the internet is great because you can't find shit like that. | ||
| He would show a lot of assholes. | ||
| He would! | ||
| He would show whatever he wants to show. | ||
| Maybe he would be less weird if he could be free. | ||
| Right! | ||
| He'd be like, oh, that's normal. | ||
| Yeah, he's just showing assholes being rubbed together. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| You know what's really crazy? | ||
| That YouTube has like a stranglehold on video online. | ||
| Video online seems so simple. | ||
| It was, wasn't it? | ||
| Everybody has an iPhone. | ||
| Everybody's iPhone makes videos. | ||
| How the fuck is there only a YouTube? | ||
| Right. | ||
| That is funny. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| That's why I'm about to start Fredster. | ||
| No, Freddy's getting out. | ||
| He's drifting all the way out of camera. | ||
| He's got to slide over. | ||
| There we go. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| We're getting crazy. | ||
| Didn't Joe Biden say something about low-income black people knowing how to use the internet? | ||
| He said that yesterday. | ||
| Even though they have smartphones? | ||
| He said black people can't get online to get in line for the COVID vaccine. | ||
| He said we got too many people that can't get online. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| You watch him talk and they can't control him. | ||
| They let him out there. | ||
| He's like a 1920s dude. | ||
| And they wind him up. | ||
| They fill him up with Adderall. | ||
| And they push him on the stage. | ||
| And he says some 1920s shit. | ||
| And they coach him. | ||
| He's like, oh gosh, Darren, do I said that? | ||
| Did I said that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He said some crazy shit. | ||
| He said black kids are just as good as white kids. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| He said poor kids could learn just as good as white kids. | ||
| That's what he said. | ||
| And everybody was like, it's okay. | ||
| He's not Trump. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, it's okay. | ||
| He's not Trump. | ||
| I'm like, come on, Joe. | ||
| Come on, Joe. | ||
| Didn't Joe fill on some asses and shit, too? | ||
| This is all unnecessary. | ||
| Did he do some bullshit with some sexual shit? | ||
| Yeah, he sniffed heads. | ||
| He sniffs people. | ||
| He sniffs people. | ||
| Not that big a deal. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Cocaine Joe. | ||
| Let my black ass go sniff a bit. | ||
| Hell no! | ||
| They'll ban cocaine. | ||
| I'm getting me too. | ||
| If I hug bitches and start smelling them, I'm getting me too. | ||
| It's like a wolf smelling your baby. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like a wolf got up to your baby and was like this. | ||
| Like Joe, what the fuck you doing? | ||
| How come nobody really talked about how like Joe, like one of his best buddies was in the KKK. I don't think that was one of his best buddies, right? | ||
| It was like one dude that went to something. | ||
| He's in his top eight on MySpace, but he ain't his best buddy. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| I'm not defending it. | ||
| I don't think they were hanging out together, and he's like, I get it. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| Let's just lie about it in front of the cameras. | ||
| I don't think it was one of his best buddies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, he's like, yeah, we fish. | |
| Back before the internet, they thought they could do shit like that. | ||
| Listen, Joe is one of the guys back in the 70s who was saying, I don't want to segregate schools because I don't want a racial jungle. | ||
| But he's come a long way. | ||
| He hasn't been in the presidency without a black person yet. | ||
| Well, here's the 1994 crime bill. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He signed that. | ||
| How many people are in jail because of that right now? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| While you and I and you, while we're all sitting here, how many people are in a cage right now and may be listening to this on a smuggled phone? | ||
| I'm sorry, fellas. | ||
| There's guys out there that are listening to this on a smuggled phone. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And this guy's in jail off that three strike shit that Kamala Harris was pushing in California. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| She fucked up a lot of families too. | ||
| Don't get me wrong, I don't think that Trump should have been the president anymore. | ||
| But we gotta look at these two motherfuckers that we elected and be like, we gotta understand, we elected the fucking police. | ||
| But maybe that's the problem. | ||
| We need to have a five party system. | ||
| Because this is bullshit what's happening. | ||
| You're just kind of funneled into these two things that may not represent you. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But then it's also like, well, there's so many geeks running. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, this is crazy. | ||
| Listen, I don't care what you... | ||
| I'm not in the aisle. | ||
| You know that. | ||
| You're not in it either. | ||
| So I'm saying, like, you look at a Ted Cruz, you're just like, how the fuck do people keep voting this guy in? | ||
| This guy won't defend his wife when somebody calls her ugly. | ||
| By the way, Heidi Cruz isn't ugly. | ||
| She's not ugly. | ||
| She's not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, but compared to Trump's wife... | |
| Trump's wife will literally get you. | ||
| Pound for pound, that's probably the baddest first lady in history. | ||
| The baddest bitch to ever come to the White House. | ||
| If Trump's wife was double-blind, placebo-controlled, studied on getting guys to leave their wives, we'd have real problems. | ||
| There's something about that accent, too. | ||
| That Russian show? | ||
| It's strong and powerful. | ||
| She grew up in a place where there's not a lot of potatoes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| She wrestled bears. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| I fucked a couple Russian bitches when I went to Russia. | ||
| The Russian Mafia made me stay out till like 8 a.m. | ||
| I was like, yo, I'm not fucking with y'all niggas no more, man. | ||
| What's your limit? | ||
| 7? | ||
| 7 a.m.? | ||
| 7 a.m. | ||
| is time for breakfast and bed. | ||
| Yeah, about 6. 6. That's hilarious. | ||
| About 6, 7. This is 8. Come on, man. | ||
| The sun's out. | ||
| I mean, they're just making me go out all night. | ||
| They're just like, yo, you are going to fuck one of these bitches tonight, Freddy. | ||
| I want you to know that. | ||
| And I'm like, okay, man. | ||
| I was like, dospedaña, motherfucker. | ||
| Let's get it. | ||
| Let's get it. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| So... | ||
| But Russia, I didn't really enjoy Russia too much. | ||
| What didn't you like about it? | ||
| The food. | ||
| I don't want to eat no goddamn borscht all day. | ||
| They invented food to keep alive. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's cold out there, bro. | ||
| You gotta understand about Russia's history with Stalin. | ||
| There's a lot of people that starve to death. | ||
| It's like Siberia, Asia. | ||
| Not just that, but Stalin imposed all sorts of crazy restrictions on people that forced crazy famine to the point where people were eating their children. | ||
| Like, for real? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Documented. | ||
| Cannibals? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Not just cannibals. | ||
| Listen, there's some fucking homeless guy who's dying of a heroin overdose and I beat him over the head with a rock and eat his ass. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, I'm just trying to stay alive. | |
| I'm just trying to stay alive. | ||
| This guy was already dead. | ||
| I don't even know him. | ||
| But eating your own kids... | ||
| This is documented during the Stalin administration. | ||
| Damn, that's some sick shit. | ||
| Would you eat your kids? | ||
| It's not a chance in hell. | ||
| No fucking way. | ||
| I would throw myself into a rock wall until I died. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| It's not a chance. | ||
| It's not a chance. | ||
| I eat myself. | ||
| But that's the power of a person who's free versus the power of a person who's lived their whole life scared. | ||
| When you're under the grip of a guy like Stalin, You know, an extreme dictator, whether it's Hitler or Stalin or Mussolini or even Genghis Khan. | ||
| Like, you're fucking scared all the time. | ||
| They could come and kill your wife in front of you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, one of the things that Saddam Hussein and his sons, Uday and Hussein, is that their names? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uday? | |
| Uday. | ||
| You know what they used to do? | ||
| They would find women that were being married, and on their wedding day, they would take them. | ||
| They would take them, and they would rape them, and then they would feed them to their dogs. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| They killed these women. | ||
| Feed them to their dogs. | ||
| They had dogs that they kept where they would rape women and then feed them to their dogs. | ||
| Now, imagine that this is all happening while like fucking, you know, Rambo's happening in the movies and Star Wars and we're all going to the fucking store and buying big gulps at 7-Eleven. | ||
| All this stuff is happening and Saddam Hussein's kids are feeding brides to dogs. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Saddam Hussein was some sick motherfuckers, though. | ||
| QAnon, where you at on this? | ||
| Sick motherfuckers who raised even sicker motherfuckers. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because he was sick, but his parents weren't dictators. | ||
| He's a dictator. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So imagine the sickness he imposes on his children. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Barron Trump's going to be so fun, I feel like. | ||
| He's going to be so fun. | ||
| He's probably going to be the best comic of all time. | ||
| I believe it. | ||
| I believe Barron Trump's going to be so funny. | ||
| Imagine if he just starts going on stage with a fucking bottle of vodka. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's on Adderall. | ||
| He starts talking shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
First of all, I never asked for any of this. | |
| Right. | ||
| And everybody goes crazy. | ||
| Or he gives up straight Tupac. | ||
| He's just like, fuck you, your man's fucked up, your label's... | ||
| The whole institution's fucked up. | ||
| I love... | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Barron Trump, man. | ||
| Melania and Barron gonna go do their own thing. | ||
| They don't fuck with that. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Maybe he'll make it worth their while. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, I'm gonna vote for him, but... | ||
| There's gotta be something appealing. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| As heinous as he is, there's gotta be something appealing about what that guy's managed to accomplish. | ||
| Trump? | ||
| He became the fucking president. | ||
| He's made billions. | ||
| He's lost billions and made billions and he owes hundreds of millions. | ||
| And people are like, whoa, he's in debt! | ||
| He's in debt! | ||
| One of the reasons why he's in debt is because he's so fucking crazy he asked for wild loans. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| He's been bankrupt more time. | ||
| He almost bankrupted America. | ||
| I'm like, this guy's one of the best. | ||
| He is. | ||
| But he's Mary and Mary. | ||
| We keep hiring him. | ||
| Listen, we're all happy. | ||
| We can agree. | ||
| We're all happy he's not president anymore. | ||
| Nah, I don't want to be president no more. | ||
| I'm happy he's not president. | ||
| I don't want to be president no more. | ||
| You're happy he's not president. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| I'm happy he's not president. | ||
| It's all working out. | ||
| We're all happy. | ||
| But what? | ||
| Before COVID hit, the economy was booming. | ||
| Nobody wants to admit that. | ||
| I don't understand the economy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We admitted it, though. | |
| We talked about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, we did. | |
| It was. | ||
| Listen, I don't understand the economy. | ||
| But I do know that the unemployment numbers were crazy low and that the economy was booming. | ||
| Stock market was booming. | ||
| Shit was happening. | ||
| If COVID doesn't happen, that man is still president. | ||
| He might be the GOAT. Yeah. | ||
| He might be the Michael Jordan. | ||
| When Trump got in office, I made more money than I ever made in my fucking life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Same! | |
| I want you to imagine a world where there's no COVID and then psychedelics get legalized and we get Trump on mushrooms and we just let him keep going. | ||
| Keep going for the good of humanity. | ||
| You already made all the money. | ||
| You're already the president of the world. | ||
| And I got some mushrooms. | ||
| Let's get high and hug each other. | ||
| Let's get high and hug. | ||
| But then I gotta hear the propaganda machine tell me that racists are coming to take me and my kids. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Because that's what's gonna happen the whole time he's there. | ||
| Well, that's the Russia-America thing too, right? | ||
| It's like we don't talk to each other. | ||
| If we all talked to each other, we'd be all like, oh, this is bullshit. | ||
| Like, I don't wanna nuke you. | ||
| You don't wanna nuke me? | ||
| I didn't know what you were saying. | ||
| I couldn't understand it. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck you're saying, bro. | ||
| Turns out you're cool. | ||
| Give me a hug. | ||
| Let's go fishing. | ||
| You know? | ||
| That is kind of, I guess, Russia's and America's way of manifest destiny, though, right? | ||
| Bro, it's in the Bible. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| Because the Chinese don't do that shit. | ||
| It's the Tower of Babel. | ||
| It's in the Bible. | ||
| If we could all talk... | ||
| Listen, we're having a hard enough time with red versus blue. | ||
| I saw some smart people on Twitter that were saying, hey Texas, you real happy your fucking state's red? | ||
| Hope you fucking pull yourself up by your bootstraps and figure it out. | ||
| There's families out there that have been here for generations. | ||
| They're starving to death. | ||
| They're all colors. | ||
| A lot of them are from other countries. | ||
| They're starving to death too. | ||
| They're freezing to death. | ||
| There's a million people with no power. | ||
| What the fuck are you upset? | ||
| All those liberals you're talking about, they're saying it to the people of your ilk. | ||
| They're not saying it to the Fifth Ward in Houston. | ||
| They're not saying it to the slums of the projects here in Austin or in San Antonio or Dallas. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Oak Park and Dallas. | ||
| I ain't saying that shit to them. | ||
| But they're saying it. | ||
| They don't know they're saying it to them, but they really are. | ||
| Because they're saying it to all of Texas. | ||
| Texas could easily be like four European countries. | ||
| Easy, easy. | ||
| Easy. | ||
| Easy. | ||
| Damn near the continent. | ||
| It's gigantic. | ||
| It's so big. | ||
| It's so big and there's so many different kinds of people here. | ||
| We got hit with a one out of 120 year storm. | ||
| That's what they're saying. | ||
| Yeah, it happens. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| But you can't be mean. | ||
| There's no need to be mean. | ||
| No one was mean to you. | ||
| You don't have to be mean. | ||
| No, California's mean to itself. | ||
| It's not just California, man. | ||
| It's everybody. | ||
| Oh, is it really? | ||
| Yeah, it's people that are... | ||
| I thought it was just Cali. | ||
| Hurt people hurt people, right? | ||
| You know that expression? | ||
| And people in California are hurt. | ||
| They're hurt. | ||
| And they're hurt at people like me that moved. | ||
| Or hurt, bro. | ||
| They're hurt. | ||
| Joey, miss you. | ||
| You can come back to right here. | ||
| This is the new California. | ||
| This is the new thing, man. | ||
| We don't have to go to that spot. | ||
| That spot's fucked up. | ||
| Keep moving. | ||
| It's crazy what they did. | ||
| It's a shame what they did to California. | ||
| Especially Los Angeles. | ||
| It's inevitable. | ||
| In Los Angeles, is it? | ||
| This is why. | ||
| The show business. | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
| Because they have to figure out how to defeat wokeness. | ||
| The only way to defeat wokeness is to show what a catastrophic failure it really is. | ||
| Because even the people that claim to be woke, they're really at it for personal profit. | ||
| When you find out they leave office and they make hundreds of thousands of dollars for speeches in front of bankers, you're like, Ah! | ||
| You got me, you fuck! | ||
|
unidentified
|
God damn it! | |
| You got me! | ||
| Gavin Newsom was gifted a million dollar house! | ||
| What was that thing I sent you, Jamie? | ||
| Gavin, our governor of California? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Three. | ||
| Three houses? | ||
| Three million dollar house. | ||
| Okay, three million dollars. | ||
| And then took a mortgage on it. | ||
| So he's gifted a house, and he takes a mortgage on the house, so it's like you get free money. | ||
| You get free money. | ||
| You get a couple million bucks. | ||
| It's a way someone can bribe you. | ||
| Yeah, so look at this thing I sent Jamie. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's the worst that comes up about this. | ||
| California ex-mayor slams Governor Newsom's use of behested payments as recall threat nears 1.8 million signatures. | ||
| Behested payments are this weird thing where, like, there's a giant increase. | ||
| From $226 million in 2020 up from $12 million the year before. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| So it was $12 million in 2019 and then $226 million in 2020 while the world is burning. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look how crazy this is. | ||
| If that's true, and I don't know if it's true, because I'm just reading Fox News communist websites. | ||
| It could be bullshit. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But, but, but, but, but, there's multiple sources saying this. | |
| It might be real. | ||
| It might be what's really going on. | ||
| But it's also, I mean, if you just look at, listen, I don't even hate Gavin. | ||
| I actually like Gavin. | ||
| I liked Gavin. | ||
| Have you ever met him? | ||
| Never met him. | ||
| But I liked that he legalized weed. | ||
| He was a great... | ||
| Wait, wait, wait, wait. | ||
| That wasn't him? | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| There's a fucking photo in my old studio of Burt Kreischer pulling his shirt off and running around the stage when they... | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| Right? | ||
| No. | ||
| It was the same podcast. | ||
| We thought it was the time... | ||
| We thought it was the moment where marijuana became legal in California. | ||
| Burt took his shirt off and ran around. | ||
| Apparently, Burt took his shirt off and ran around multiple times. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And someone figured out that the moment where he took his shirt off in that photo was not... | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It was not in fact... | ||
| So Newsom didn't... | ||
| You're saying he wasn't the guy? | ||
| No! | ||
| But this... | ||
| I mean... | ||
| They voted it in! | ||
| California voted it in. | ||
| In 2018 or whatever the fuck it was. | ||
| 2016. He was a big advocate for it though. | ||
| So was everybody else. | ||
| They go like this. | ||
| They lick their finger. | ||
| Which way is the wind blowing? | ||
| It's going that way. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| What a coincidence. | ||
| What a coincidence. | ||
| I'm going that way too. | ||
| I think he's an okay ideas guy. | ||
| I just think his leadership as a governor... | ||
| I don't think he could ever be president because his leadership is so faulty. | ||
| Well, it's over. | ||
| And what I say to you, I was saying with the $30 billion earlier, it's like, if me and Fred and you are working at the comedy store, right? | ||
| And there's $30 missing from the till, and Dean or somebody is saying like, yo, there's $30 missing here, bro. | ||
| And that's like, that's three days in a row here. | ||
| What's going on with you? | ||
| You're fired. | ||
| Right. | ||
| $30 billion in front, and nobody got fired or died or went to jail? | ||
| You put a fucking camera up, and you find out who's up. | ||
| Who's been doing it? | ||
| And that's how Tommy got fired. | ||
| And they still haven't done it, though. | ||
| I'm saying. | ||
| They haven't even put the cameras up though! | ||
| No! | ||
| They don't give a fuck. | ||
| This is what I'm saying about it. | ||
| I'm like, yo, show business is the number one form of economy in California, right? | ||
| And it's in Los Angeles. | ||
| And we talked this offline. | ||
| It was like, the whole reason Los Angeles exists is because of Hollywood, right? | ||
| So you have show business, you have the tourism that show business brings in from all the people coming from all the places. | ||
| You have the service industry that caters to the people who are coming in, the actors, actresses, the dreamers who work in these places or are serving these people. | ||
| Then you have the hospitality service that does the same thing. | ||
| Now, you're saying, okay, you guys make $813 billion, $900 billion a year for us. | ||
| Eh, I don't really want to serve you guys. | ||
| I'm going to serve the big tech companies or the farming industry in these other places, these blue-collar type of things, or this white-collar shit that the big techs do. | ||
| But Hollywood, you guys are dreamers. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| Fuck your restaurants. | ||
| Fuck your hotels. | ||
| Fuck your homeless problem. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And fuck your tourism, Los Angeles. | ||
| And it's 120,000 people on the fucking streets in Los Angeles. | ||
| It is. | ||
| And they're keeping us in the house saying, like, stay in the house. | ||
| And I got comics telling me, stay in the fucking house. | ||
| Don't do outdoor shows. | ||
| It's just upsetting. | ||
| I can't even be funny about it. | ||
| But those comics, are any of them any good? | ||
| I don't think they are. | ||
| Some are, some aren't. | ||
| Name one. | ||
| Name them. | ||
| I'm not gonna name no names. | ||
| They're all mediocre. | ||
| Yeah, but they're all saying, like, stay in the house and earn a living, you know what I mean? | ||
| Who's telling you what to do and why? | ||
| But who? | ||
| It's the scene they're saying, like, hey, you guys shouldn't open. | ||
| Who's not confused? | ||
| Who's not unsure? | ||
| Who's not conflicted? | ||
| I am. | ||
| I am. | ||
| That's why you came here. | ||
| Listen, I'm conflicted. | ||
| I'm not so sure of what I can tell you to do, but I'll tell you what I do. | ||
| But there's so many people that are telling you what to do. | ||
| All the time! | ||
| Why are you telling me what to do when I know you're a pussy? | ||
| I know you're a pussy. | ||
| I know if shit gets crazy you're gonna cry. | ||
| And you're telling everybody what to do? | ||
| Especially about something we have almost a year of data on. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| And that's where I'm coming from. | ||
| It's like, yo, it's almost been 12 months. | ||
| It's coming to March 11th, right? | ||
| March 19th or whatever. | ||
| It'll be a year. | ||
| You can't tell me at this point that we know what's going on. | ||
| We see the data that's happening. | ||
| Stop telling me to stay in the fucking house. | ||
| Stop trying to make a living. | ||
| There's so many variables. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's so many variables. | ||
| There's so many people that have been cowards their whole life. | ||
| And they're on Facebook. | ||
| And they're talking on Facebook. | ||
| And you read their words. | ||
| And their words seem like a normal person. | ||
| But it's not you. | ||
| I've known you for more than a decade. | ||
| I know you. | ||
| I know you. | ||
| I've only known you for a couple hours and I fucking know you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I know you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's some people you don't know. | ||
| Word. | ||
| And those fucking people are just like, why are you doing shows? | ||
| Why aren't you hiding? | ||
| Why don't you stay inside? | ||
| Well, then tell my fucking documentary to landscape artists that do the same thing. | ||
| I can't go make a living, but he can? | ||
| Why can you? | ||
| Blowing fucking hot air in my face every day. | ||
| I thought it was an airborne virus. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, wait, what the fuck? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| We can't do shit in California. | ||
| California is very selective about, like, what they open. | ||
| Like, man, nigga, I was just in a strip club. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do your best work in the strip club. | ||
| Texas doesn't give a fuck, dude. | ||
| Nah. | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| Texas looks at Florida and we're like, one day. | ||
| No. | ||
| One day. | ||
| One day we'll be as free as Florida. | ||
| Florida is the real America. | ||
| Freedom of thought. | ||
| Freedom of everything's down there. | ||
| They don't give a fuck. | ||
| They're like, let's go. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Last time I was in Miami, they weren't even tripping on us wearing masks. | ||
| They were just like... | ||
| Andrew Schultz is there right now. | ||
| He said, if you wear a mask, they look like you're a pussy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He said, he was texting me. | ||
| He's like, bro, it's wild down here. | ||
| But he brought on his Instagram, he said, I've never been more happy when a dude bumped into me at a nightclub and spilled his drink on my shoe. | ||
| I never, because I was just happy, the people were just right there. | ||
| He's like, I didn't even give a fuck. | ||
| Living life. | ||
| You can't do that shit. | ||
| Alive! | ||
| Live! | ||
| Risk taken! | ||
| Anybody who's listening to this in the world, if you come to Los Angeles right now, you're going to be depressed. | ||
| Tell me. | ||
| The energy is nasty. | ||
| Tell me, because I stopped you. | ||
| I stopped you. | ||
| We were all getting COVID tested before this podcast. | ||
| Tell me what it's like. | ||
| It's depressing, bro. | ||
| The energy out there is fucked up. | ||
| And everybody keeps saying, like, oh, you know, there's so many cases. | ||
| I remember in December, like, there's so many cases, this and that, but, you know, it's... | ||
| But we don't have a cold snap in California, right? | ||
| But we have 100,000 people on the streets, and you're saying it's an airborne virus. | ||
| You don't think it has something to do with it? | ||
| You don't think that the undocumented workers or the poor people who are dying in South LA has something to do with, like, what are the only people working? | ||
| Because right now, what's happening right now, this is your power dynamic. | ||
| Rich people are staying home and telling you to stay home because they're making the money. | ||
| And Gavin Newsom said this. | ||
| He said, oh, I don't know what you guys mean by businesses closing. | ||
| There's a lot of new billionaires who wouldn't say that. | ||
| I saw that crazy shit. | ||
| That was fucking arrogant. | ||
| I was never going to vote, but I'm like, yo, bro, you lost. | ||
| I wasn't even a fan, but now you lost a dude who was like, hey, I can defend some of the things you're saying because you have some good ideas. | ||
| But at that point, you're telling me, well, the rich people are happy, so then we're happy. | ||
| He's under pressure, man. | ||
| The middle class is fucked up because they can't work or they're working at home and they can't take their kids out to go do shit and be normal to socialize with people. | ||
| And the kids ain't in school. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And kids ain't, bro. | ||
| It's not necessary. | ||
| Kids ain't in school and they're robbing people. | ||
| My daughter in private school. | ||
| See, that helps. | ||
| Now let me tell you this, like, but with that bullshit, like... | ||
| They want your money. | ||
| So they're not going to say, hey, just stop the fucking school. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| They're like, all right, well. | ||
| But hold on. | ||
| Yet they are. | ||
| They are in California. | ||
| But not the school my daughters go to. | ||
| They're making them go. | ||
| Well, you got a good one. | ||
| They'll have them go sometime. | ||
| Or they'll be like, all right, you're going to be the Zoom school teacher at home. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| So it's like... | ||
| When they get under pressure by the state or the county, maybe they'll shut down. | ||
| But for the most part, my daughter's been going to school. | ||
| You know what's interesting out here? | ||
| Out here, if your school's religious, you get exemptions. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Like, if you decide, my kid's a Catholic, your kid can go to a school, like in school, because they believe in God. | ||
| Because they believe in God. | ||
| You're right, you're fine. | ||
| No, I'm telling you the truth from my own experience with children. | ||
| This is real. | ||
| It's bizarre, man. | ||
| Usually, organized religion is fucked up, but now I'm like, damn, you get to go to school? | ||
| I'm with them. | ||
| Who are they to tell you? | ||
| It is fucked up, because I'm like, damn, if I couldn't afford private school, would my daughter be actually in real school? | ||
| Like, I wouldn't be in real school. | ||
| No, she'd be zoomed up and she'd be restless. | ||
| Trust in the government is way crazier than any other religion. | ||
| Trust in a bunch of people that can't fucking believe they're really the mayor or can't believe they're really the governor. | ||
| First of all, you're telling me they're not medicated? | ||
| All those fucks are medicated. | ||
| They're all on something. | ||
| They're all on SSRIs or Ambien or some sort of anti-anxiety, Xanax type deal. | ||
| All of them! | ||
| All of them. | ||
| Maybe a few of them are just on Athletic Greens. | ||
| But there's a lot of people out there that are on some dark shit. | ||
| They're out there making decisions for all of us. | ||
| I mean, when you say the Catholic Church, that shit just triggers me. | ||
| I go back to QAnon again, and this is my joke I made about QAnon again. | ||
| I'm like, yo, QAnon, you guys are culture-appropriating black people's shit. | ||
| We're afraid of the government. | ||
| We always have. | ||
| We have facts to back it up. | ||
| I haven't seen one thing from anybody in QAnon just like, well, this is happening. | ||
| The Marjorie Greene's or the Lauren Babbitt's. | ||
| I'm just like... | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| What are you guys talking about? | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| The Catholic Church has physical proof that they're fucking people. | ||
| It's separated through all sorts of lines. | ||
| Tribal lines. | ||
| We're tribal. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| Yeah, we always talk about that shit. | ||
| We are tribal. | ||
| We do talk about it a lot because that's really what it is. | ||
| If we abandoned all that, like if we all did MDMA. Work. | ||
| You ever do that? | ||
| I only did it once. | ||
| I was holding hands with a dude. | ||
| We were holding hands. | ||
| And I was like, this feels so good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We were both looking at each other. | |
| That's humanity, though, right there. | ||
| Yeah, me and some Mexican dude. | ||
| We're sitting on a couch. | ||
| We're holding hands with each other. | ||
| And he's like, it feels good, right? | ||
| I was like, dude, it's amazing. | ||
| It's like the best feeling I've ever had in my life. | ||
| It wasn't sexual at all. | ||
| It was me and some dude holding hands. | ||
| We were cool. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| It was good, right? | ||
| I like that. | ||
| That's real shit right there. | ||
| We abandoned because we were both on fucking two tabs. | ||
| We were on two tabs of MDMA. And we were both like, listen, it's all bullshit. | ||
| It's all bullshit. | ||
| He's like, it's cool at home. | ||
| He wasn't trying to fuck me. | ||
| I wasn't trying to fuck him. | ||
| We were holding hands. | ||
| He needed a co-sign that was cool, though. | ||
| I respect that. | ||
| I was holding hands with this dude, and we were cool with each other. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Why is that a problem? | ||
| If we could all just do Molly, we'd be fine. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| I really believe that. | ||
| Hey, get like Oregon, because Oregon, you can do drugs. | ||
| Now you can. | ||
| You can do everything, bro. | ||
| Legally. | ||
| So I'm going to sell crack right now. | ||
| Why don't you move to Oregon? | ||
| Why are you talking about going to Miami? | ||
| It's all decriminalized. | ||
| I don't know if decriminalized means they can't take it from you, but they definitely can't arrest you. | ||
| It's like a misdemeanor there, so they can find you probably. | ||
| But I think they can take it. | ||
| Like if they find you with some molly and some coke, like pure coke. | ||
| They can take it. | ||
| They're like, you can't handle this. | ||
| We just found out you can only get pure coke in 1990. You been to Vancouver? | ||
| You know Vancouver got the drug zone where they got all the shit. | ||
| It's like Amsterdam on the wire. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It's like three or four blocks. | ||
| That's the first place I ever did absinthe. | ||
| Oh, bro. | ||
| I'll never fuck with that again. | ||
| Really? | ||
| You did it? | ||
| I did Absinthe. | ||
| In Amsterdam, though? | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| I did in Vancouver. | ||
| I said it's like a cousin to drunk. | ||
| It's like drunk's cousin. | ||
| You think you're a drunk's house. | ||
| You're like, oh, you guys got velvet paintings. | ||
| Yeah, Absinthe ain't no joke. | ||
| Absinthe, it's illegal in America, ain't it? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I mean, they have. | ||
| It was before. | ||
| I mean, not the shit that they sell in Amsterdam. | ||
| Not that Absinthe. | ||
| Yeah, I drunk some absinthe. | ||
| I'll never do that shit again, bro. | ||
| That shit hit me like that. | ||
| That was the weirdest feeling. | ||
| I enjoyed it immensely. | ||
| I believed in Harry Potter. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| That's some good absents. | ||
| I did it. | ||
| I started thinking about magic. | ||
| Absents to me was... | ||
| You're in Texas now. | ||
| You're doing lean now? | ||
| No. | ||
| You're on Dirty Sprite? | ||
| No. | ||
| You don't like opiates? | ||
| No, I do kettlebells. | ||
| I do kettlebells? | ||
| I used to do lean. | ||
| I used to drink that shit. | ||
| 2007, the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau effectively lifted the long-standing absents ban. | ||
| See, I told you. | ||
| 2007. I had it right before then. | ||
| I think I had it in like 2002 in Vancouver. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| I had it in 2010. I was doing Yuck Yucks. | ||
| Oh shit. | ||
| You ever do that? | ||
| Yeah, I've done Yuck Yucks. | ||
| That's how I found out about Absinthe Mountain. | ||
| The day it got unbanned. | ||
| My homeboy took me to go drink some of that bullshit. | ||
| And I was like, my nigga, I will never do this shit with you. | ||
| Green licorice. | ||
| Yeah, they had to like burn it. | ||
| It looked like we was doing crack. | ||
| Right, because you had to burn the sugar cube, right? | ||
| Yeah, you had to burn the sugar cube. | ||
| I have to correct myself. | ||
| I think I'm 2005. Oh, so you did it illegally. | ||
| No, no, it was legal in Vancouver. | ||
| In 2000, they were starting to sell it as something else. | ||
| It's called Absinthe Refined. | ||
| That's like fucking the new coke. | ||
| You ruined a tried and proven formula. | ||
| They brought original coke back. | ||
| Cocaine ain't the same. | ||
| Right now it's like 50,000 a kilo. | ||
| It's different. | ||
| You know what's like super underrated? | ||
| You know what's super, super underrated? | ||
| A cigarette before a comedy show. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| You know who loves that? | ||
| Silverman. | ||
| Listen, you know who loves that? | ||
| Chappelle. | ||
| Word. | ||
| When Dave and I were doing these gigs, he's always smoking, and I wouldn't even thought to do it. | ||
| Until I met Joey Diaz, and until I started smoking pot, and I met Eddie Bravo, I was like, Mr. Straight Edge. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| I was like, yeah, you gotta eat meat, and you gotta run steps. | ||
| And don't be a pussy! | ||
| I was a fighter when I was young. | ||
| I was kick-boxed and I fought a lot of martial arts tournaments. | ||
| I was scared of anything that's gonna set you back. | ||
| And then I met some dudes that were martial artists, like Eddie Bravo in particular, who's one of my best friends ever, who's a martial artist but also a pothead. | ||
| I'm like, explain! | ||
| Explain what the fuck you're doing. | ||
| He's like, it makes me creative. | ||
| Like, there's no way. | ||
| I go, okay, let's do it. | ||
| And we got high, and I was like, oh my god, I get it. | ||
| He was the first one to get you high? | ||
| Well, I got high. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like that? | |
| I mean, like, religiously? | ||
| Yeah, 100%. | ||
| When I was a kid, I probably smoked pot from the time I was, like, young till I was, like... | ||
| 30. No, not even. | ||
| 21. Maybe five times. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then I took a long time off. | ||
| I thought it was for losers. | ||
| Word. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Most people do. | ||
| I did too at first. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think when you're doing athletics as a kid, you never want to fuck with it. | ||
| Even my day I was like, I get that shit. | ||
| I mean, I wasn't like, ah, I'm going to be in doubt. | ||
| I was like, I get that. | ||
| I'm not going to do that because I want to fuck up my system because I want to be in sports. | ||
| Then when you get out, you're like, well, let me see what this shit's all about. | ||
| Nah, when I got to college and started playing football, I knew the motherfuckers. | ||
| I was like, yeah, everybody doing drugs. | ||
| Yeah, everybody. | ||
| I was like, oh, shit. | ||
| I overindulged. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You know, it's a jujitsu thing. | ||
| A big thing with jujitsu. | ||
| A lot of the best guys, they get high. | ||
| Really? | ||
| They get high before. | ||
| I used to get high every time it rolled. | ||
| Every time, me and Eddie Bravo, we would smoke, we would get real high. | ||
| Like, to the point where I was embarrassed a couple of times because I was trying to explain a position. | ||
| I was like, there's a position where there's a new counter, and I was trying to explain a counter to an omoplata. | ||
| I was trying to explain this one move, and I was so high, I didn't remember where to put my feet. | ||
| I didn't know where to go. | ||
| I was so high, and I was talking to another guy who was like a legit jiu-jitsu guy, and he was like, this fucking airhead. | ||
| And I was like... | ||
| I was like, I don't think I can remember. | ||
| Let me start from the beginning. | ||
| I had to take it like two steps before where I was explaining it to figure out how I got to where I was because I was so high. | ||
| But the best guys, like BJ Penn, Eddie Bravo, and this is just... | ||
| BJ Penn, really? | ||
| Yeah, BJ was one of the biggest potheads. | ||
| He convinced a lot of people because he was so good early on. | ||
| Bro, that guy won the Mundial, the World Championships with Jiu Jitsu, three years in the training. | ||
| It's just lit up all the time. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Always high. | ||
| Always high. | ||
| Hicks and Gracie like to smoke weed. | ||
| All those guys like to smoke weed. | ||
| I used to live with the MMA cat who's a Whiff-Hom instructor now. | ||
| Wim Hof. | ||
| Wim Hof, my bad. | ||
| I'm high. | ||
| Wim Hof. | ||
| Did he ever whoop your ass? | ||
| Yeah, we used to like grab my shit. | ||
| He was trying to teach me. | ||
| But he was a major pilot and he would always tell me that same thing. | ||
| It's just good for recovery for me because I don't want to feel it. | ||
| It's that too, but it's also like abandonment of all your preconceived notions of what life is. | ||
| when you're doing jujitsu you're doing jujitsu and you're like well i'm a member of a neighborhood organization and uh you know i owe fifteen thousand dollars on my credit card and uh i'm worried i'm gonna get fired at my job and when you smoke pot and a dude's trying to strangle you all that goes away yeah and everybody realized it everybody realized that it makes it like you exist in a different dimension than the normal world You exist in this really high dimension where you're doing this intimate | ||
| sort of intricate strangle game where you're trying to break joints, choke each other. | ||
| You do it to each other over and over and over and over again. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| And you're doing it while you're high. | ||
| It's not like being drunk. | ||
| See, if you're drunk, it slows you down. | ||
| But the high thing is it eliminates all the other variables. | ||
| I believe that. | ||
| Same thing as rapping. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You get high. | ||
| Same thing. | ||
| And you just... | ||
| Oh, yes. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You go straight to the place you need to go to. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| So I can relate. | ||
| But everybody who's great at something says that. | ||
| It's tunnel vision, man. | ||
| It's tunnel vision, dog. | ||
| It's like you said, I am the task. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So, you know, I might fall off in other areas. | ||
| I might not be a good... | ||
| Boyfriend, husband, or some shit like that, but I'm a fucking great rapper, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you know what I'm saying? | ||
| And to be that, I know that I gotta stay on the path to doing that. | ||
| And it's gonna be shit that I might lack in because I'm so laser-focused on being great at that. | ||
| That shit was so specific. | ||
| The thing is, too, the thing is, too, if you can do that, you can do anything. | ||
| He just said, he's like, you know, I might not be a good boyfriend or a husband. | ||
| He could have said, I'm not good with money, I'm not good with this. | ||
| He was very pointed about that. | ||
| He knows what he's saying. | ||
| I know what I'm not good at. | ||
| I don't believe in monogamy. | ||
| Word. | ||
| So, I don't really rock with that shit. | ||
| So, you know, I believe in, you know, I should have my way with whatever comes my way. | ||
| That's how I feel. | ||
| Monogamy don't really fit, you know, my kind of lifestyle or my kind of thing, you know? | ||
| So like when I bring up the idea of like open relationships to women and kind of like scare them away, so I don't get into... | ||
| Isn't it interesting that some people only want people to live the way they lived, right? | ||
| And this is why people had a problem with gay marriages, right? | ||
| That was a big deal. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Until like the 2013 marriage. | ||
| There's a lot of prominent Democrats that were running for president. | ||
| Up until 2013, they're like, nope. | ||
| Man and a woman. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Man and a woman. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| You're like, that is actually crazy. | ||
| And I'm going to tell you this. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I'm into religion and everything. | ||
| I'm into Islam and all of that. | ||
| But like I said, there's certain things, even with religion, that I don't agree with. | ||
| I don't agree with that. | ||
| Anti-gay shit. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I don't give a fuck who you fuck at night. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Who's the fuck that got? | ||
| Nothing to do with us. | ||
| Yeah, it don't got nothing to do with me, man. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| So I just, you know, I feel like, you know, you should be free to do whatever the fuck you want to do. | ||
| You know what I think it is? | ||
| I think it's a weird test. | ||
| It's like, as we were talking about, like, what we used to be, what a human used to be a hundred years ago, two hundred years ago, a thousand years ago, and what we are now. | ||
| That keeps going. | ||
| And we're at this weird point where we're like, what do we give a fuck? | ||
| What do you care? | ||
| If dudes want to marry dudes, if you have a problem with that, you're the problem. | ||
| It's not dudes who want to marry dudes. | ||
| If a dude is like, hey, listen, bitch, you're going to marry me. | ||
| He's like, I really like chicks. | ||
| He's like, shut the fuck up. | ||
| Okay, then we might want to protect that dude. | ||
| Who's going to get married by a dude who wants to marry him. | ||
| But that's not what we're talking about. | ||
| Until it's that, if it's a guy who wants to marry a guy, then we should be encouraging as much as we are a man who wants to marry a man or a woman who wants to marry a woman. | ||
| Also right, yeah. | ||
| Do you want to date other colors or ethnicities? | ||
| Do whatever the fuck you want. | ||
| It's all bullshit. | ||
| Jack Johnson had a bad white bitch. | ||
| He had a lot of them. | ||
| That was his thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He did that. | ||
| He drove around with them in the convertible. | ||
| He did. | ||
| Yeah, because he wanted them to see it. | ||
| He's like, I'm conquering white supremacy. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Well, he was a man. | ||
| You know, they think that even when he lost, they think he might have taken a dive. | ||
| They don't know. | ||
| There's a lot of speculation. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who did he lose to? | ||
| It was late in his life. | ||
| Yeah, it was like a tomato can kind of fighter? | ||
| Well, they think they might have set up a situation where, you know, like, listen, man. | ||
| Take some money, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Let's end this. | ||
| It was real speculation. | ||
| April 5th, 1915, Johnson lost his title to Jess Willard, a working cowboy from Kansas who started boxing when he was 27 years old. | ||
| Nigga, I didn't know cowboy was a real job. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| It's a real job right now. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| Tina was. | ||
| You in Texas. | ||
| If you want to have a fucking viable horse to ride, sir, you respect the cowboys. | ||
| Many people thought Johnson purposely threw the fight because Willard was white in an effort to have his man act charges dropped. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| So he did that. | ||
| So he'd be like, man, let me fuck these white bitches. | ||
| I lost to this white nigga right here. | ||
| You got him. | ||
| You got him. | ||
| Damn, Jack. | ||
| He took a dive. | ||
| He took a dive. | ||
| If we're deep into 2021, and this is like, how many years ago? | ||
| A hundred and... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| How many? | ||
| Three? | ||
| 106. How many years? | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| That fucking debate still raging on. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| The man act. | ||
| What is the man act? | ||
| No, well, Trump pardoned him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He pardoned... | |
| What? | ||
| Trump pardoned Jack Johnson. | ||
| No. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Trump pardoned Jack Johnson, everybody. | ||
| Please pull that up. | ||
| He probably pardoned Jack Johnson like Jack Johnson. | ||
| But meanwhile, Joe Exotic rots in a fucking cage. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Let's let him out. | ||
| Let's use him as a battery to make some money. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| There's money to be made. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Trump pardons. | ||
| Look how much they don't even like him. | ||
| Look at Stallone's there. | ||
| Hey, yo. | ||
| Hey, yo, man. | ||
| Hey, yo, man. | ||
| Look at Stallone. | ||
| Deontay. | ||
| That's Deontay in there. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Oh, Deontay, why was you there for that, man? | ||
| Wait, go to that guy's face, though, with the... | ||
| I think they're just happy. | ||
| With the cabbie hat on. | ||
| No, no, the other one. | ||
| The other one. | ||
| I've never seen that picture. | ||
| He don't look like he's... | ||
| That's Lennox Lewis, man. | ||
| That's Lennox Lewis. | ||
| That's Lennox Lewis. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I guarantee Mike Tyson when it did that. | ||
| He's right. | ||
| Mike Tyson wouldn't have did that. | ||
| Mike Tyson would not have did that. | ||
| Lennox Lewis is a fascinating guy. | ||
| He must be. | ||
| Has he been on the podcast? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| You know, he plays chess at a really high level. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I mean, he's brilliant. | ||
| Yeah, he's really brilliant. | ||
| He's British, man. | ||
| He's British, man. | ||
| Get out of here, man. | ||
| All them niggas can play chess over there. | ||
| He's also super nice, but also talks shit. | ||
| Like, it's kind of cool. | ||
| Like, he saw a pool table. | ||
| Smart demon, yeah. | ||
| He's like, come on, man. | ||
| You want to play some... | ||
| Like, all of a sudden, like, oh, shit, we're having fun. | ||
| I mean, I respect him. | ||
| He beat Mike Tyson. | ||
| Dude, he didn't just beat Mike Tyson. | ||
| When Lennox Lewis was in his prime, how about when he revenged against Hasim Rahman? | ||
| Right. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Rahman had knocked him out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they caught him, and he thought they stopped the fight early. | ||
| They caught him and stopped him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| Comes back and KOs him with one punch. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Yeah, he might be one of the most underrated. | ||
| Yeah, he fucked Rahman. | ||
| Most underrated ever. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| One of the most underrated ever. | ||
| He is. | ||
| That's because he British. | ||
| It's that. | ||
| It's that. | ||
| But that might be it, right? | ||
| That's why we don't give him the credit. | ||
| That's why, bro. | ||
| We don't respect British boxers like that over here like that. | ||
| Meanwhile, we like Tyson Fury. | ||
| We're pretty happy. | ||
| We love him. | ||
| We love him. | ||
| We fuck with Tyson Fury. | ||
| We love him. | ||
| But he's a gypsy. | ||
| He's in a caravan like Brad Pitt, that fucking movie Snatch. | ||
| I love Tyson Fury. | ||
| Right? | ||
| But also Deontay Wilder. | ||
| Like, Deontay Wilder became Deontay Wilder because of what he did to Tyson Fury in the first fight. | ||
| Everybody knew what he was, but everybody was like, what happens when he fights the best of the best? | ||
| When he dropped Tyson Fury in that 12th round, when he hit him with a right hand and then a left hook as he's going down, and then he went like this, everyone's like, oh! | ||
| I screamed like my wife was worried something was wrong. | ||
| I was sitting on the edge of the bed. | ||
| I was watching my bedroom in California and he knocked him down. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I couldn't stop screaming. | ||
| But then, that motherfucker got up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He did. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He got up. | |
| He did. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He got up. | |
| Like Terminator, bro. | ||
| Yeah, he did. | ||
| Like Terminator. | ||
| And Deontay was dancing and all that shit. | ||
| He was doing all this shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He thought it was over with, but it wasn't. | ||
| And then he got outboxed. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Yeah, he definitely got outboxed. | ||
| If Deontay could pretend that he couldn't knock people out... | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| I mean, dude, his power is preposterous. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Somebody greatest in history. | ||
| If he just learned how to box like a dude who couldn't break an egg. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Just learned how to box like one of those dudes. | ||
| He's a souped up version of Kimbo Slice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, no, no, no, no. | ||
| He's like a superhuman Tommy Hearns. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| That's what he's like. | ||
| Because he's so big. | ||
| He's so powerful. | ||
| Bro, he knocked everybody out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If that guy catches you clean, broke his jaw? | |
| Dude, if he catches you clean, Deontay will fuck you up. | ||
| I just watched Hearns-Hagler the other day. | ||
| That fucking fight, that's probably one of the best boxing matches I've ever seen in my fucking life. | ||
| Gotti Ward, Hearns-Hagler. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| You don't even like Gotti Ward. | ||
| Gotti Ward is great, but Hearns-Hagler is in another dimension. | ||
| That's another dimension, though. | ||
| Neither Gotti nor Ward at the time were thought about as world champions. | ||
| Right. | ||
| When Marvin Hagler fought Tommy Hearns, that was 100% the best versus the best. | ||
| That was right. | ||
| Yeah, I was like, oh, this is chalk versus chalk. | ||
| Tommy Hearns had starched Roberto Duran with one punch. | ||
| Right, the one punch? | ||
| Have you ever seen that? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| No mas. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| That's not no mas. | ||
| That was Sugar Ray Leonard. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| I'm sorry for disrespecting. | ||
| Tommy Hearns put Roberto Duran to sleep. | ||
| Was that after the no mas? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So he boxed again after that. | ||
| And that was before Tommy Hearns fought Hagler. | ||
| So this was the build-up. | ||
| The build-up was Tommy Hearns had knocked Roberto Duran into another dimension. | ||
| And Marvin Hagler went to a decision. | ||
| With Roberto Duran. | ||
| What year was that? | ||
| It was like... | ||
| We're talking about like... | ||
| 83. I gotta think it was like... | ||
| Sometime in the 80s. | ||
| Yeah, because I don't remember the height. | ||
| It was definitely... | ||
| 84. Yeah. | ||
| Hearns Duran's 84. So in 1984... | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Tommy Hearns knocks Roberto Duran's senseless. | ||
| And Roberto Duran was one of the greats. | ||
| One of the greats. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Dude! | ||
| Now I know the highlights. | ||
| Nobody... | ||
| Nobody did that to Duran! | ||
| Nobody! | ||
| He knocked him senseless. | ||
| Senseless. | ||
| He felt that for days, bro. | ||
| He probably pissed blood and everything. | ||
| Dude, he got flatlined. | ||
| So for Tommy Hearns to fight Marvin Hagler was insanity. | ||
| It was insanity. | ||
| And also, the way Marvin Hagler decided to fight him... | ||
| Marvin Hagler was a beast too. | ||
| Marvin Hagler decided to turn it into just chaos. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| From the beginning. | ||
| The first round! | ||
| Right away! | ||
| No guts, no glory! | ||
| Yeah, all gas, yeah. | ||
| Bro, this first round, this is the best first round of boxing I've ever seen in my life. | ||
| Maybe ever. | ||
| Maybe ever. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| It's just a war. | ||
| It's a war. | ||
| Bro, they both had the... | ||
| I mean... | ||
| First of all, they both were at the tippy top of their game. | ||
| They were so good. | ||
| And it's that same referee. | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| How old were they, by the way? | ||
| That's Richard Steele. | ||
| Richard Steele, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, Richard Steele. | ||
| Old school Richard Steele. | ||
| And look, they just get right after it. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Marvin Hagler just gives you no air. | ||
| He's just constantly on them. | ||
| Bro, this is the best first round of boxing I've ever seen, bro. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| They're just trying to find range and throw hay niggers. | ||
| Bro, they are hitting each other so hard. | ||
| Marvin just cracks him with a big right hook. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| And Tommy Hearns is trying to nuke him. | ||
| And Tommy Hearns apparently broke his hand in this first round. | ||
| Damn, for real? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And he took him 12 still? | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| He didn't. | ||
| I don't think it lasted very many rounds. | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| I think it was three. | ||
| Three? | ||
| Like, when did... | ||
| Oh, they won the end. | ||
| They both won the end. | ||
| This is the first. | ||
| It lasted two or three rounds, if I remember correctly. | ||
| Who won this shit? | ||
| Marvin Haggard by KO. By KO. He's wilted him. | ||
| He wilted him. | ||
| He just overwhelmed him with his pressure. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Overwhelmed him. | ||
| I mean, it's... | ||
| Bro, they was going at it. | ||
| That is... | ||
| They was going at it, bro. | ||
| When I was a kid, Marvin Haggard was supposed to fight Mustafa Hamshaw, and he was training on Cape Cod in the winter. | ||
| And he was running down the beach screaming, war! | ||
| And they were filming him for this local news channel. | ||
| He was the middleweight champion of the world. | ||
| I was a kid. | ||
| And I was sitting there watching TV, and Marvin Haggard's got a hoodie on, and he's running down this frozen beach going, war! | ||
| Shadow boxing, throwing punches. | ||
| This is third round? | ||
| Yeah, okay. | ||
| So I remembered it right. | ||
| A human being can't fight like that for more than three rounds, the way they was fighting. | ||
| No, it was chaos. | ||
| They was fighting. | ||
| I mean, that's crazy. | ||
| Oh, Marvin Hagler was a specimen. | ||
| My God. | ||
| And he had this crazy calisthenic workout. | ||
| Like, nobody was in better shape than him. | ||
| He never got tired. | ||
| Like, he met some clever boxers, like Sugar Ray was clever. | ||
| Duran was really clever. | ||
| I think he had a lot of respect for Duran when they fought, too. | ||
| But Marvin Hagler was one of the most impressive boxers of all time. | ||
| He was, man. | ||
| You know a fight that I really want to see that the logistics and political should keep... | ||
| I want to see Bud versus Errol Spence. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| We all do, man. | ||
| Do you think they were talking the last day or two that they were going to just abandon the idea of even pursuing it? | ||
| What do you think that is? | ||
| It feels like a Pacquiao-Floyd thing. | ||
| But is that like a negotiation thing? | ||
| Like they're trying to pretend they're backing off? | ||
| Because Bud's full ESPN top rank. | ||
| Yeah, he's top rank. | ||
| And then Spence isn't, isn't he? | ||
| Nah, they could make that shit happen. | ||
| They need to make it happen. | ||
| Spence is golden. | ||
| And he bounced back. | ||
| He really bounced back after the accident. | ||
| I didn't You know what I mean? | ||
| That's a neat fight. | ||
| He flipped that car like 10 times, man. | ||
| And he came back and he fought well. | ||
| So I definitely need to see that fight. | ||
| I like Teofimo Lopez. | ||
| That's what I was going to say. | ||
| I was just about to say that. | ||
| Bro, the way he beat Lomachenko. | ||
| I was just about to say. | ||
| That's what I said. | ||
| I thought nobody would beat Lomachenko. | ||
| When I'm looking at that, I was like, what the fuck? | ||
| You know what? | ||
| There's an equation. | ||
| Firepower versus movement. | ||
| You get to a certain level, it doesn't matter how much movement you have. | ||
| The other guy has superior firepower. | ||
| As Lomachenko went up in weight, he reached this technical breaking point. | ||
| The point of diminishing returns. | ||
| His ability to move is above and beyond. | ||
| But if this dude hits you once... | ||
| You're like, oh shit! | ||
| And then you get nervous, and then you're tighter, and it's harder to move. | ||
| He's unassuming. | ||
| Lomachenko had some sort of an injury to his shoulder, apparently, going into that fight. | ||
| They gonna rematch it? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Lomachenko thought he won, which I thought was crazy. | ||
| He said he thought he won the first fight. | ||
| I'm like... | ||
| He's one of the most interesting boxers of all time, but he definitely did win that fight. | ||
| Lomachenko did not win that fight. | ||
| Lopez, he was hurting him. | ||
| He was putting him in danger. | ||
| Yeah, I guess I've never seen Lomachenko, I guess, get to that point because we've always seen him just dominate. | ||
| So it was interesting. | ||
| You're like, whoa, okay. | ||
| Another guy I wish I would have seen Floyd fight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Floyd Lomachenko, fuck all this reality shit. | ||
| Get in there and fight. | ||
| Show me, yeah, fight Lomachenko. | ||
| Different weight class though, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, true. | |
| Tiafemo's 135, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's dangerous, man. | ||
| He's like super fucking dangerous. | ||
| What's up with Triple G? They think that Lomachenko, Triple G, they want to have a rematch with Canelo, apparently. | ||
| Right, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| Triple G looked at it. | ||
| I say, let him juice up. | ||
| This is what I say. | ||
| I say, listen, let's cut the shit. | ||
| Let's let these guys do testosterone. | ||
| Do we want to have good fights? | ||
| Do we want to help bean counters? | ||
| Pocket protectors. | ||
| Give that man steroids. | ||
| Give that man steroids. | ||
| How old is Triple G? He's like 39, right? | ||
| Yeah, he's gonna need it. | ||
| Let him juice up. | ||
| Yeah, he's gonna need it against Canelo. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Let him juice up. | ||
| That was a good fight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Two. | ||
| Right? | ||
| They fought twice. | ||
| The first one, a lot of people thought Triple G won, but the second one, Canelo, was brilliant. | ||
| Man. | ||
| Dude, his head movement... | ||
| He's never looked better, actually. | ||
| You ever see that Danny Jacobs fight, where Danny Jacobs is throwing haymakers at him, and he's like, moving... | ||
| Oh, he's gorgeous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Anybody who says that that's not an art, you're out of your mind. | ||
| That's a sweet sign, yeah. | ||
| Right, to people who know, you watch that, you're like, holy shit. | ||
| That's like hitting 100 miles or fast, like curveball, you know what I mean? | ||
| Or knuckleball, shit. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Canelo improved more than any fighter that I've seen. | ||
| Legitimately, yeah, because he fought Floyd too early. | ||
| Yeah, I was just about to say that Floyd caught when he was young. | ||
| Yeah, he got too early. | ||
| Not only that, he weakened him. | ||
| Floyd make him go down to 152, I believe. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Didn't he make him go down to that? | ||
| That's good boxer shit, though. | ||
| That's smart boxer shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's Floyd! | |
| Yeah, that's smart shit. | ||
| Smart. | ||
| He knew better. | ||
| He's a big, dangerous young man. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Get him to dehydrate himself a little bit more. | ||
| Because he went up in Wakely. | ||
| He up there. | ||
| He went up to 175 and knocked out Kovalev. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| 175. I thought that was actually nuts. | ||
| I was like, really? | ||
| You're not tired? | ||
| Not... | ||
| Dude, he's on another level. | ||
| Canelo's on another level. | ||
| That Danny Jacobs fight was crazy. | ||
| Because Danny Jacobs is super dangerous. | ||
| And he's throwing these haymakers. | ||
| I mean, excuse me, Canelo, he learned from Floyd. | ||
| He learned from that fight. | ||
| Like, if you can't hit a guy, like, oh, that's, like, really important. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You fight Floyd and you're like, hey, where are you going? | |
| Right, exactly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So these dudes like Canelo, look how good he was in the Jacobs fight with his head movement. | |
| I mean, that's not normal. | ||
| That's not normal head movement. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| I was just about to say that it's a fight here. | ||
| It's here in Texas, right? | ||
| Miami, Miami. | ||
| How do you pronounce a dude's name? | ||
| He's fighting. | ||
| Yildurum? | ||
| That dude looks savage. | ||
| That nigga is a big guy. | ||
| That's a big dude, man. | ||
| That's a big dude. | ||
| Fuck, that's a big dude. | ||
| Canelo ain't little. | ||
| No. | ||
| But what's a dude with hard to pronounce and last name? | ||
| Dude, go up to the top. | ||
| Go up to the top of the... | ||
| What did it say? | ||
| Yeah, there it is. | ||
| How do you say that name? | ||
| Avni Yildurum. | ||
| Scroll down there so we can see that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Avni Yildrim. | ||
| Better call Saul. | ||
| It's Yildirim. | ||
| Yildirim. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Avni. | ||
| Our apologies, Avni. | ||
| It might be Yildirim or something like that. | ||
| Yeah, it might be, right? | ||
| Where's he from? | ||
| Turk. | ||
| He's a Turk. | ||
| Can we all agree on what letters mean? | ||
| What kind of noises you make? | ||
| You can't have, you know? | ||
| It's confusing. | ||
| We can't agree? | ||
| I'm with it on this one, yeah. | ||
| It just looks like a... | ||
| A collection of numbers, or letters. | ||
| That was a big one when Hoist Gracie was in the UFC, because Hoist Gracie had his letters, it starts with an R. It's Royce Gracie in English, but because he's Brazilian, it's Portuguese. | ||
| They pronounce the R and H, so it's Hoist Gracie. | ||
| Oh, Hoist. | ||
| Hoist. | ||
| It's a cool name, actually. | ||
| It's a dope name. | ||
| Especially if you're a dude who's like 175 pounds and fucks up the world. | ||
| Shit, if your last name is Gracie. | ||
| I mean, man, I've always wanted to be 175, like 185. Shit. | ||
| Imagine the expectations growing up in the Gracie family. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Imagine? | ||
| I mean, what a name. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When it comes to all-time, there's no greater family name ever in the history. | ||
| I wouldn't fight you. | ||
| It's martial arts. | ||
| I wouldn't fight you. | ||
| Have you got the Gracie name? | ||
| What's your name? | ||
| You one of them Gracie niggas? | ||
| Oh, hell no. | ||
| Gracie boys? | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| Like a human jaguar. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| There's so many elite Gracies. | ||
| From Hickson to Hoist to Hoyler to Hodger. | ||
| You can go down the line. | ||
| Henzo. | ||
| Henzo Gracie today has the most revered lineage of all. | ||
| He's produced John Donaher, who produced Gordon Ryan and Nicky Ryan. | ||
| There's a whole city. | ||
| Gary Tone and this murderers. | ||
| To come out of that lineage. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's all out of that Gracie lineage. | ||
| That family's insane. | ||
| Like, that family changed martial arts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Forever. | ||
| Always I know about it, yeah. | ||
| Oh, great, yeah. | ||
| That's the one name that registers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gracie. | |
| Gracie School. | ||
| You went to the Gracie School. | ||
| Cool, yeah. | ||
| They changed the world. | ||
| They changed the world. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, definitely. | ||
| They changed the whole world. | ||
| When did they start? | ||
| Well, they had some of their first matches in the early 1900s. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| I think it was in the 19... | ||
| Yeah, no bullshit. | ||
| Slave days. | ||
| Their dad... | ||
| Gracie boy! | ||
| The story of the Gracie family is amazing. | ||
| Because there was Elio. | ||
| Elio was like... | ||
| He and Carlos Gracie were the ones who were first experimenting with Jiu Jitsu. | ||
| But Elio was a small guy. | ||
| And the benefit... | ||
| He was like 140 pounds. | ||
| 147 pounds. | ||
| But the benefits of him being really small is he couldn't hurt anybody with just his muscle. | ||
| So he developed the perfect technique. | ||
| So they learned from these guys that came over from Japan. | ||
| He even had this match with this dude Kimura who fucked up his shoulder. | ||
| And that guy, that became the Kimura. | ||
| It's a known submission hold now. | ||
| Because this man did it. | ||
| It's a double wrist lock. | ||
| A double wrist lock is like the catch wrestling tournament of it. | ||
| But this dude did this to... | ||
| He did it to Elio Gracie in like the early 1900s and fucked up his shoulder. | ||
| Yeah, and then Elio came back and he fought a bunch of other challenge matches. | ||
| Then he had his, I think it was his cousin Carlson. | ||
| His cousin Carlson was like bigger and more robust, like kind of like a more durable, a scarier version of him. | ||
| And he did a bunch of challenge matches too. | ||
| And then by the time the UFC came around, which is like 1993, in Brazil they had been doing this for decades, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Decades. | |
| Decades of these no-rules fights. | ||
| Decades of capoeira guys fighting karate guys, fighting wrestlers. | ||
| They were doing all these... | ||
| They called it valetudo. | ||
| They fought in these... | ||
| I think it means anything goes. | ||
| Anything goes or no rules. | ||
| And they fought in these weird little setups. | ||
| They did cages, sometimes in ropes. | ||
| And they had a ton of fights. | ||
| A ton of fights all through Brazil. | ||
| So Brazil was just buck wild with martial arts. | ||
| Sounds like Muay Thai shit. | ||
| It was different, man. | ||
| There was a lot of different things going on. | ||
| As far as production is concerned, I feel like. | ||
| But I was like there was there was jujitsu going but there was also like these other forms of wrestling and all that like there's a The thing called luta livre was like competitor to jujitsu in Brazil And there was all these different styles they were trying to figure out who is the man and And it was all happening before the UFC even came around. | ||
| That's what's wild. | ||
| South America. | ||
| Yes, you don't even think about it. | ||
| Brazil. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There was an influence of these... | ||
| There was a guy named Count Maeda who came down there and taught them judo. | ||
| And he taught them judo, and they just started practicing on each other. | ||
| That was it, yeah. | ||
| And next thing you know, they developed Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. | ||
| They kept learning from each other, and these guys just figured out a better way to strangle each other. | ||
| It's like they're Dr. James Naismith with basketball. | ||
| They're like, here, do this, go make some money. | ||
| But the UFC is here because of that family. | ||
| Word. | ||
| One family. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| One family changed martial arts... | ||
| So much. | ||
| 1993 is when the first UFC was. | ||
| Between 1993 and the beginning of time, martial arts has evolved more from 1993 to 2021 than any time ever in human history. | ||
| There's no doubt about it. | ||
| These are the greatest... | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Hand-to-hand fighters. | ||
| And it's predominantly because of that guy holding that baby. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That guy figured out a way to use leverage and technique and to beat guys of superior size and strength and weight. | ||
| And he had like a hundred kids. | ||
| He had... | ||
| I'm exaggerating. | ||
| How many children did he have? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| He had a lot. | ||
| And a lot of these children became champions. | ||
| I mean, he was just... | ||
| And he said... | ||
| This is what's crazy about him. | ||
| It's like the Marlies and Reggae. | ||
| But here's one of the more interesting things about Elio Gracie. | ||
| He would give his children presents if they lost. | ||
| Really? | ||
| He didn't give them any pressure. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And they still nailed it. | ||
| They became the best. | ||
| He didn't want them to worry about that. | ||
| He didn't want them to concern... | ||
| He was so wise... | ||
| That he gave them presents if they lost. | ||
| Imagine that. | ||
| Yeah, that's like giving you a kid like, hey, you participated. | ||
| Here's a trophy kind of thing. | ||
| Yeah, but if you want to look at a study of what works and what doesn't, that guy should be the real professor. | ||
| Legitimately, yeah. | ||
| I'm like, wow, really? | ||
| And he still got it. | ||
| He's produced like a dozen straight-up killers. | ||
| And my lineage that I come from, the Machados, they're cousins to the Gracies. | ||
| They all train together. | ||
| So my lineage is completely connected to there. | ||
| Because Jean-Jacques Machado is, in Jiu-Jitsu, I'd call him my master. | ||
| So they're all connected. | ||
| So this one family literally connected to martial arts and changed it forever. | ||
| One family. | ||
| A couple of guys in Brazil. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's crazy! | |
| Yeah, it's the Jackson family of martial arts. | ||
| But more so because Jacksons, look, you can't discount James Brown. | ||
| Word. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You're right, you're right. | ||
| The Jacksons were amazing, but there was a lot of Jacksons. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There was a lot of crazy, powerful musical influences. | ||
| Ain't no Gracies, you're right. | ||
| There was a bunch of different ones. | ||
| You could go to concerts with... | ||
| You could see 30 different styles of superpower. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right? | ||
| One family in South America figured out the best strangle bitches just to grab them and strangle them. | ||
| They were all practicing all day long trying to figure out what's the most efficient, intelligent way of choking people to death. | ||
| And they figured it all out above and beyond every other fucking martial arts grappling competitors in the world. | ||
| And then they expanded through the globe where if you don't know their style, you're fucked. | ||
| There's not a single grappling organization on earth where if you don't understand the style that was created by the people that originally founded jiu-jitsu. | ||
| If you don't understand that, you're going to get strangled. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| If you're just a pure wrestler... | ||
| It's like they created the microchip, basically. | ||
| They figured something out that's undeniable. | ||
| If you're a regular wrestler who has no exposure to jiu-jitsu, and you have a grappling match with a guy like Gordon Ryan, who's a multiple-time world champion, he's gonna fucking strangle you 100% of the time. | ||
| You have no chance. | ||
| There's no chance. | ||
| It's not like one in a thousand chance. | ||
| The only thing that's going to save you is if there's a time limit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| If somehow or another you can hold on for five minutes and then when the time's up, you're, yeah, one. | ||
| But did ya? | ||
| If you don't understand what he's doing, he's going to get you. | ||
| He's going to rip your legs apart. | ||
| He's going to strangle you. | ||
| He's going to find a way to hurt you really bad and you're going to give up. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| That's what's real. | ||
| It's torture shit. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| That's what martial arts are. | ||
| Sounds painful as fuck. | ||
| That's a hell of a black history lesson. | ||
| My mama wouldn't pay for me to get no karate lessons. | ||
| It should be free! | ||
| Everybody would be so much friendlier if people knew how to fight. | ||
| They would let it go. | ||
| Are you weird if you take karate when you're an older person? | ||
| Or take a jujitsu or something like that? | ||
| I think today, no. | ||
| Maybe in the 80s, yeah. | ||
| I think you're weird in that you have balls to take that chance. | ||
| If you're a 49-year-old dude who's a trucker, who's never done shit, and you're like, I want to learn karate. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, you call that guy weirdo. | ||
| Yeah, I'll be like, yeah, you're kind of weird, man. | ||
| What do you need this for? | ||
| Well, it's also like, you do you. | ||
| Word. | ||
| Good. | ||
| Go for it, bro. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, why are we happy if he decides he's a woman, but we're not happy if he wants to take karate? | ||
| That's true. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| Choices. | ||
| Choices 100% across the board with no judgment. | ||
| Fuck it, I'm taking karate. | ||
| I'm about to beat a black ninja out. | ||
| It's weird, right? | ||
| I want to get tits and be a woman. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| You can learn stupid shit when you're older. | ||
| No one cares. | ||
| You can take bowling lessons. | ||
| No one thinks it's weird. | ||
| There was a 92-year-old woman who went to college. | ||
| She went to college. | ||
| And graduated in 96. Wow, really? | ||
| She committed. | ||
| And survived and lived until she was 96. So there you go. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, why not? | ||
| Isn't that weird? | ||
| Like, we're so focused on numbers. | ||
| Like, how long you got left. | ||
| How long you got left? | ||
| What can you do? | ||
| It's such a trap. | ||
| I just do drugs. | ||
| I do all the drugs I wasn't going to do. | ||
| I think I do some crack. | ||
| I was talking to Fred and he was saying, man, crack's supposed to be fire. | ||
| It must be good. | ||
| You smoke, it's like a body orgasm. | ||
| How was it? | ||
| At 79 or 80 or whenever black guys die, 64. Oh, then you're going to try it? | ||
| Yeah, I'm going to do some crack. | ||
| I thought you were going to say you already have. | ||
| No, man, no. | ||
| My mom would kill me. | ||
| So in your last years, you've tried crack? | ||
| Yeah, last year's. | ||
| Listen, we need to rebrand. | ||
| No, don't do it. | ||
| You think about this, though. | ||
| See, it's going through your brain. | ||
| We need to rebrand crack. | ||
| It's problematic. | ||
| It does need to be rebranded. | ||
| The word crack is rude. | ||
| It's probably created by Nazis. | ||
| We need to step in. | ||
| We should have just called it freebase. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We should have kept calling it freebase. | ||
| How about this? | ||
| Let's just call it free. | ||
| Damn. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Free. | |
| Free. | ||
| Nah, because they ain't dope fiends. | ||
| They ain't got to pay for it if you call it free. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's call it Freebase. | |
| Freebase is such a good name. | ||
| That's probably why they called it crack. | ||
| It is a good name. | ||
| You ain't getting this for free. | ||
| Just give me that base, man. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Imagine if we get to a point where we could have Freebase t-shirts. | ||
| Freebase. | ||
| Like you have a Brody shirt on. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| A Coca-Cola shirt. | ||
| Freebase. | ||
| Easy E tried it. | ||
| They say, my man J.D. is on Freebase. | ||
| He tried to do it, dawg. | ||
| And from the 8th ball, my breath started stinking. | ||
| He said, the boy J.D. was a friend of mine until I called him in the car trying to steal my Alpine. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| So, you know, the Freebase, you know, see? | ||
| Oh, there we go! | ||
| Jesus Christ, Jamie. | ||
| They say, my man J.D. is on Freebase. | ||
| Isn't that weird? | ||
| You can have... | ||
| I've got a Quaalude shirt from the 70s my dad gave me. | ||
| Is that a company, though? | ||
| Someone just made it. | ||
| If you can sell weed at a store, you should be able to sell Freebase at a store, too. | ||
| Imagine if, like, Johnson& Johnson... | ||
| Medical Freebase. | ||
| Like, I want to make the first crack store in America. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| Legal. | ||
| Legal crack store. | ||
| Freebase. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If there's not a market for it, what are you worried about? | |
| You've been out there. | ||
| I mean, like, what's it like to deal with crackheads? | ||
| What's the deal with crackheads? | ||
| All the time. | ||
| Crackheads are different. | ||
| They're different than heroin addicts, I'll tell you that. | ||
| Or even cokeheads, yeah. | ||
| It's different kind of, you know what I'm saying, like waves. | ||
| Like heroin addicts will kill you if you don't give them any drugs. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Kill, kill. | ||
| Crackheads, they'll just steal some shit from you or something like that, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| So heroin's the worst? | ||
| I would say with the addiction, yeah, because they get sick and they'll do whatever. | ||
| They'll do whatever, shit. | ||
| Crackheads will do whatever, too. | ||
| Crackheads just crazy, and crackheads got wild strength and speed. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| All right, so we should put them in the NFL combine? | ||
| I mean, you can. | ||
| I mean, like, shit, like, I know a crackhead that got hit by a combine four times. | ||
| We still out here? | ||
| Four times? | ||
| At least four times. | ||
| Do you think that all the people that are addicted to whatever the fuck they're addicted to, do you think that would be the exact same numbers if everything was legal? | ||
| What would change? | ||
| I think the crime rate would go down. | ||
| I think it would go down, too. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| For sure. | ||
| There's a stigma with it, too, you know? | ||
| And I think that's what scares people. | ||
| Right, that's what I'm talking about. | ||
| Yeah, I don't... | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Honestly, it's like this. | ||
| I was telling a girl the other day. | ||
| I was like, you know what, man? | ||
| I think I like bitches and pussy so much because you... | ||
| Say, don't do it, don't do it. | ||
| You make it like it's taboo. | ||
| So I make me want to be like, oh, I want to see what that's about. | ||
| So if you make shit not taboo no more, people might be like, I don't even like that. | ||
| Or I don't even want to fuck with that. | ||
| That's the weird part. | ||
| Nah, they make homosexuality, they make that taboo too, and you wasn't doing that. | ||
| Yeah, but that's a big commitment. | ||
| That's a big goddamn commitment. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Hell yeah, that's a big jump. | ||
| That's a big jump. | ||
| To jump sexualities, nigga. | ||
| That ain't like smoking crack. | ||
| You can get off crack. | ||
| You can't switch back. | ||
| You can't dabble. | ||
| Nah, you can't. | ||
| I mean, no disrespect, but if you gay, bro, if you decide tomorrow, man, I'm going to start sucking dick, I'll be like, oh yeah, Brian Gay as hell. | ||
| You can't be like, you can't come to me and be like, hey, I'm off that gay shit, bro. | ||
| I've been clean and sober for 70 days now. | ||
| I've been like, bro, you still my nigga, but I've always categorized you with that, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Well, I've always said that. | ||
| I've been off dick now for 120 days. | ||
| Have a breast spray. | ||
| Like when I have asthma. | ||
| You got a dick spray. | ||
| I'm trying to quit, man. | ||
| It's just a scent of dick. | ||
| A nicotine patch? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like, I caught you sneak. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not here to enable my brother. | |
| I've been about it for a while. | ||
| I was like, There's a difference. | ||
| There's gay dudes and then there's really gullible straight dudes who get talked into blowing crafty gay dudes. | ||
| There's two different things going on. | ||
| See, this is why there's some ridicule attached to it. | ||
| Because we know that some dudes join cults. | ||
| It's not that we don't respect gay people. | ||
| Human beings are super nuanced. | ||
| We're very happy. | ||
| I think everyone in this table, I'm happy that people are gay. | ||
| I'm happy that people are straight. | ||
| I want people to be happy no matter what you're doing in this life. | ||
| You find people like you. | ||
| There's plenty of you. | ||
| Let's all get together and hug. | ||
| Who gives a shit? | ||
| We're all live. | ||
| We're all live. | ||
| We shouldn't be fighting over this stupid shit. | ||
| It's like the Russians in America, we gotta speak each other's language. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| I didn't know you would. | ||
| It's over, Fred. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't care. | |
| Let's love each other. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Yes, come on. | ||
| But, you know. | ||
| That's what's up. | ||
| Right? | ||
| That's like the most important lesson. | ||
| If a motherfucker convinced a straight dude to suck a dick, then you wasn't straight. | ||
| Bro, listen to me. | ||
| Tiger King is the best documentary ever. | ||
| It's on Netflix. | ||
| It happened. | ||
| It just took a guy who's way better at playing this particular game of chess. | ||
| And he played it with a bunch of straight dudes. | ||
| Not only did he play with one, he's like, not good enough. | ||
| I want a second one. | ||
| He had two straight boyfriends. | ||
| I mean, husbands. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Great boyfriends. | ||
| Two straight boyfriends, and he made them marry him on video and kiss him, and he fucked them all, and he gave them meth or whatever he gave them, and let them live with tigers. | ||
| He did do that. | ||
| By all accounts, they had a great time. | ||
| Hold on, and dude afterwards was like, man, I wasn't even gay. | ||
| Yeah, they both said that. | ||
| They both said they weren't gay. | ||
| That guy's a pimp. | ||
| Let him out. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Let him teach lessons. | ||
| That's what we need to do. | ||
| He should be employed by some sort of PBS type deal. | ||
| Did they really say that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I haven't seen the documentary. | ||
| We need to know how he did this. | ||
| We need to know how he did this. | ||
| Give him money. | ||
| He's just a smooth motherfucker. | ||
| Yeah, he's a smooth motherfucker. | ||
| Free him. | ||
| I don't even look at him as gay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Free him. | |
| This is your campaign all year, I bet. | ||
| You were actually going to get this man Joe Exotic freed. | ||
| He said Trump didn't pardon him because he's too gay. | ||
| It was fucked up because he had... | ||
| Did Trump release any gay people? | ||
| Did he pardon any gay people? | ||
| That's a really good question. | ||
| Right? | ||
| He should have. | ||
| He definitely should have pardoned Joe Exotic. | ||
| Why would he pardon everybody? | ||
| He had the stretch limo Dodge Ram out there waiting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They did. | |
| They did. | ||
| They thought that he was going to do it. | ||
| I hope Joe Biden. | ||
| Joe Biden, you better pardon Joe Exotic. | ||
| You know what fucked him up? | ||
| That Capitol Hill riot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If none of that shit went down, Joe Exotic would be right here. | ||
| Right next to us. | ||
| Right here. | ||
| He would be right here. | ||
| Is that your sidekick? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right there. | |
| He would be sitting in this fucking chair right here. | ||
| Or he would have got pardoned right before it and been there with them at Capitol Hill. | ||
| That's going to break Spotify. | ||
| But imagine... | ||
| If Joe Exotic comes on the Rogan podcast. | ||
| Imagine the three of us and Joe Exotic. | ||
| Oh, I would love it. | ||
| This is his marriage. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| I would have went to his wedding. | ||
| Bro, I might marry him if I was too close to him. | ||
| He's amazing. | ||
| He's too smooth. | ||
| He's too smooth. | ||
| He'll get you. | ||
| Nah, Joe. | ||
| Get away from me, Joe. | ||
| He's clever. | ||
| He got these boys eating cake. | ||
| He's like, what the fuck did I just do? | ||
| And that one with the mustache, that guy was gigantic. | ||
| He has these hands that are like fucking catcher's mitts. | ||
| You look at me like, oh my god. | ||
| All the while, I'm trying to get two bitches to do this. | ||
| And Joe made two straight dudes do this. | ||
| You know what's interesting? | ||
| When a guy gets two straight dudes to do it, nobody feels like anybody's a victim. | ||
| Nobody's worried. | ||
| This ain't R. Kelly. | ||
| This ain't R. Kelly. | ||
| So this guy's getting a couple other guys to suck his dick. | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| Who gets hurt? | ||
| A guy? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| You should know that you don't want to suck his dick. | ||
| R. Kelly's still in jail, too? | ||
| I believe so. | ||
| Damn, that's fucked up. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Huh? | ||
| Why? | ||
| Why is it fucked up? | ||
| That he's still in jail, R. Kelly. | ||
| Why is it fucked up that R. Kelly's still in jail? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The nigga had some fucking jams. | ||
| I'm not saying he shouldn't be in jail. | ||
| He should be there, but it's a waste of talent. | ||
| Imagine if they made a deal with him. | ||
| Imagine if they made a deal with him. | ||
| They said, listen, you can take months off of your sentence with each album you put out. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| And all the money goes to charity. | ||
| Hey, man, you need to be the new attorney general. | ||
| Hey, man, you can't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Have a fucking shiny time. | |
| Listen, Mr. Moses, let's make a deal. | ||
| If you were the opposing lawyer and you and I met and we decided, let's just smoke a joint and talk about this, man. | ||
| It's just hard. | ||
| Right now, with all the shit that had happened with R. Kelly, it'd be very, very difficult to listen to a new R. Kelly album. | ||
| And he didn't talk about it. | ||
| Did you listen to the one that he did release? | ||
| The one song that he did release? | ||
| No. | ||
| Listen, man. | ||
| It's pretty fucking good. | ||
| All his songs. | ||
| He's got a lot of good songs, man. | ||
| I'm not bullshitting. | ||
| He's a fucking piece of shit, but he's got great songs. | ||
| Some people got upset at me that I said, listen, I understand. | ||
| He's an extremely flawed human being. | ||
| Extremely. | ||
| But this song is pretty fucking catchy. | ||
| Who was that one that he released on SoundCloud? | ||
| After he got dropped by his... | ||
| I believe it can fly a remix. | ||
| No, there was a song. | ||
| He was talking about his whole thing. | ||
| Not Guilty? | ||
| This nigga has a song called Not Guilty. | ||
| He does? | ||
| R. Kelly? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Does he? | |
| Yes. | ||
| He might have 18 songs in a row called Not Guilty. | ||
| It was on the Best of Both Worlds album. | ||
| Remember Trapped in the Closet? | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Trapped in the Closet, yes. | ||
| He had a soap opera. | ||
| Yes, he did. | ||
| He did. | ||
| R. Kelly is... | ||
| They let him out for COVID? R. Kelly is an innovator, man. | ||
| Everybody else out for COVID. He's an R&B. He's the king of R&B. Oh, okay. | ||
| A 19-minute song called I Admit. | ||
| I Admit. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Yeah, I heard that. | ||
| 19 minutes? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| It's good. | ||
| It was like trapped in the closet altogether. | ||
| Listen, I'm not saying I endorse what he's done. | ||
| I do not. | ||
| No fucking way. | ||
| I'm not saying... | ||
| What I'm saying is... | ||
| The sounds that he's making, the things that he's saying, you can apply them to what you think he did or didn't do and it'll fuck it up for you. | ||
| Yeah, bro, if Hitler puts out a fucking R&B soul album tomorrow with Funkadelic on it... | ||
| Yeah, I'm not forgiving him. | ||
| I'm not forgiving of you. | ||
| Never forgetting Hitler. | ||
| I do think some of them bitches and them families and them niggas and shit like that that was letting their daughter go with R. Kelly, they knew what the fuck they was doing. | ||
| Like, I'm not letting my daughter go with R. Kelly nowhere, nigga. | ||
| Or any motherfucker, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like what every black parent said when they watched that documentary, they were just like... | ||
| I never let my daughter go. | ||
| Yeah, I'm not. | ||
| What the fuck is going on? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| And then like the shit with the hotel. | ||
| I think a lot of that shit was bullshit, but I think R. Kelly a nasty motherfucker and he need to go to jail. | ||
| But you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| I think that he... | ||
| Let a hoe be a hoe, but he was just dipping in shallow waters. | ||
| Man, you can't do that shit, bro. | ||
| Yeah, you can't do that, R. Kelly. | ||
| Go be a hoe with some old, like with some grown people. | ||
| And it's like, man, you rich as fuck. | ||
| You can have any woman you want. | ||
| Why do you want to fuck with a bitch that can't even drink at a bar with you? | ||
| I think there's a madness of that kind of fame. | ||
| Like the level of fame that he had. | ||
| You ever see that one video where he was on stage and these girls literally reach up and grab his dick while he's dancing and singing in front of him? | ||
| Imagine Sinatra in a similar circumstance. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I want you to stop and think. | ||
| And I'm not saying that Sinatra did the same shit that R. Kelly did, but I want you to imagine what kind of a connection does this man have to his fans? | ||
| I mean, he is dancing in front of these ladies in there. | ||
| He's singing to their face, and they're patting him down, and people are screaming. | ||
| For the people that are just listening to this, this is wild shit. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| I mean, this is... | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| But they grab his dick. | ||
| Eventually, there it goes. | ||
| There it goes. | ||
| She's massaging his dick while he's singing! | ||
| In front of everybody! | ||
| This is one of his last shows he did, too. | ||
| He's telling her to do it, by the way. | ||
| He's saying, Why My Balls? | ||
| Oh, keep on wiping me! | ||
| Listen, we need Jimmy Fallon's and we also need R. Kelly's. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| We need hyenas and we need lions. | ||
| Keep on wiping me! | ||
| We need Republicans and we need Democrats. | ||
| We need everybody. | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| But, um... | ||
| Is she wiping his ass? | ||
| There was some shit that he did that was different than this. | ||
| The problem with this guy is the stuff that he did was like you start looking into it and you go, Jesus, how old is everybody? | ||
| Like, what is this? | ||
| It's like the stage shit, like doing that. | ||
| The art that he produced, like being able to stand on stage and this girl grabs his dick in front of everybody, I'm not endorsing anything he's ever done, ever, that's criminal. | ||
| But that is wild. | ||
| That is fucking wild. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| That's not like old school doo-wop shit, I feel like. | ||
| They were doing that shit back in the day, you know? | ||
| But like that? | ||
| Like, girls throwing panties on stage. | ||
| I know, but they're grabbing his dick in front of the whole world. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| You ever seen the Five Heartbeats? | ||
| Oh, this is my favorite. | ||
| Hold on, time out. | ||
| This is my favorite R. Kelly song. | ||
| Do you have your passport? | ||
| Did you get your shots? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you want to come back with Rob to America? | |
| Do you have your passport? | ||
| Did you get your shots? | ||
| Girl, would you like to come back with Rob to America? | ||
| As if he's Aladdin! | ||
|
unidentified
|
As if he's Aladdin! | |
| He said, bitch, I would... | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Did you get your shots? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you get your shots? | |
| Are you singing the shit out of it, though? | ||
|
unidentified
|
America! | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| Look, look, the background sticks. | ||
| It's like, what the fuck are we seeing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They just met them like, America. | |
| That is pure madness. | ||
| What was that one? | ||
| What was the one where the girl calls up and he's mad, he's getting his hair done? | ||
| Why are we in the studio? | ||
| What is that one? | ||
| Where he has a whole thing? | ||
| Where he's going back and forth with this woman on the phone. | ||
| When a woman's fed up. | ||
| What is this song? | ||
| When a woman's fed up. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| She's mad at him and he's like, Bitch, I wish you would burn my motherfucking clothes! | ||
| Real talk! | ||
| Real talk! | ||
| He says to the woman, he goes, you what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| He goes, bitch, I wish you would burn my motherfucking clothes! | ||
| Real talk! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait a minute, calm down. | |
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| I was at a club with who? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get the fuck. | |
| Man, you know what? | ||
| Girl, I'm not about to sit up here and argue with you about who's to blame or call no names. | ||
| Real talk. | ||
| Real tall. Real tall. Real tall. | ||
| Real talk. | ||
| Just because your friend says she saw me at a club with some other bitches. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did she say there were other guys there? | |
| Did she say there were other guys there? | ||
| Were there other guys there? | ||
| Well, tell me this. | ||
| How the fuck she know I was with them other girls? | ||
| Science! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait a minute, let me finish what I've got to say. | |
| Oh. | ||
| Nigga, look at his hair. | ||
| Give me a little bit more. | ||
| Give me a little bit more. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Give me a little bit more. | |
| I'm just trying to have a good time. | ||
| Robert, you did this. | ||
| Kills, I heard you did that. | ||
| Don't you think I got enough bullshit on my mind? | ||
| Real talk. | ||
| Hold up. | ||
| Real talk. | ||
| I'm going through a motherfucking pedophile case. | ||
| Real talk, right, nigga? | ||
| Don't you think I got enough bullshit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Real talk. | |
| Gave who some damn money? | ||
| I ain't gave nobody no damn money, girl. | ||
| You see what your problem is? | ||
| You're always running off at the mouth, telling your girls your motherfucking business. | ||
| When they don't eat with us, they don't sleep with us. | ||
| Besides, what they eat don't make us shit. | ||
| Real talk! | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Did you just put a voicemail conversation as a song? | ||
| It is an art piece. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| It's an art piece. | ||
| Look, man. | ||
| Ray Charles couldn't see. | ||
| R. Kelly couldn't read, man. | ||
| They can both write a goddamn song. | ||
| Listen, whatever he did that's illegal, I stand against it, and I think we all stand against it. | ||
| I stand against it. | ||
| We all stand against it. | ||
| I wish he didn't. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because when you listen to some of the shit that he produces, you're like, God damn. | ||
| To me it go Michael Jackson and R. Kelly. | ||
| Those are your people. | ||
| That's top tier music for me. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| And Mike ain't do that shit. | ||
| Wait, where's James Brown? | ||
| Oh yeah, he says Mike didn't do that shit. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Mike ain't dead either. | ||
| What? | ||
| Oh, he's not done. | ||
| There we go. | ||
| Mike is alive, man. | ||
| Alive and well. | ||
| Where do you think he is? | ||
| Yeah, where is he? | ||
| In Vegas. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's on UFO. What's he doing in Vegas? | ||
| He had Joe Oldhouse. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| He had Joe Oldhouse. | ||
| You grew up in the other street from them, didn't you? | ||
| Yeah, I grew up around the corner from them niggas. | ||
| Imagine if someone who really did face their death fake it and do it successfully. | ||
| Like a Kennedy. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| Which one? | ||
| Like one of them. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Like Robert or John F. John F. Guys who get shot. | ||
| Or Tupac or Elvis. | ||
| Tupac ain't having a... | ||
| I don't think Tupac did that. | ||
| Elvis's still alive. | ||
| The Kennedy one, you can see him die. | ||
| Mike, I can see it. | ||
| Mike is still alive. | ||
| I'm telling you, man. | ||
| Talk about it. | ||
| Mike's alive, man. | ||
| What's he doing? | ||
| I mean, fucking hoes doing like regular nigga shit now. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Mike just like want to chill now, man. | ||
| You gotta say, Mike was in a lot of debt, man. | ||
| Not according to the papers. | ||
| According to the papers, they're saying, you know, he was fucking kids and now he's gone over to overdose. | ||
| What kids, though? | ||
| They ain't never proven. | ||
| Mike came to Gary, right? | ||
| And he talked to me about this shit. | ||
| He said, man, come on, man. | ||
| He said, man, niggas gonna hate you for whatever you do, man. | ||
| And Mike didn't fuck with Tupac. | ||
| Really? | ||
| No. | ||
| He whooped Tupac ass. | ||
| What? | ||
| Michael Jackson whooped Tupac ass, man. | ||
| What? | ||
| Tell me this story. | ||
| Tell us this story shit. | ||
| They was both fucking with Quincy Jones' daughter. | ||
| Rashida? | ||
| One of them. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Let's not name names. | ||
| My bad. | ||
| My bad. | ||
| But Mike ain't fuck with Pac. | ||
| Him and Pac was beefing. | ||
| I mean, shit. | ||
| You might want to look into that Mike on the Pac murder, really, to be honest. | ||
| You know? | ||
| They was getting on this trail. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He said, damn, man, they're making all these fucking Pac movies and documentaries. | |
| They're going to get on me. | ||
| That would be hilarious. | ||
| If Michael Jackson put the hit on Tupac. | ||
| Mike put the hit on Pac, I think. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The time Tupac and Michael Jackson got in a fight. | |
| Yeah, Mike bang on Tupac. | ||
| This is hilarious. | ||
| Y'all thought I was bullshit. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So what caused this? | ||
| We said, damn. | ||
| We didn't talk about this. | ||
| Hey. | ||
| Pac versus Mike, man. | ||
| I'm telling you, man. | ||
| Did you ever see that movie with Tupac and Mickey Rourke? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Bullet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Good movie. | ||
| Good movie. | ||
| Tupac got killed in that movie, though. | ||
| How'd you pull that out? | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| I love Mickey Rourke. | ||
| You went on Jeopardy. | ||
| So it was about her. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| When it comes to Tupac, Mickey Rourke, Jeopardy. | ||
| I love Mickey Rourke. | ||
| You just won. | ||
| And Tupac and Mickey Rourke were good friends. | ||
| Yeah, they were. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They were in that movie together. | ||
| Mickey Rourke was one of my favorite actors, man. | ||
| The wrestler. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| The rest was really good. | ||
| But you know, you go back to like Angel Heart. | ||
| You ever see Angel Heart? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh yeah. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| It's him and Robert De Niro. | ||
| It's an amazing movie. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's a weird movie. | ||
| And I want to say it's in the... | ||
| 82? | ||
| 87. It's a really wild movie, man. | ||
| It's about a guy selling his soul to the devil. | ||
| What's the card again? | ||
| Angel Heart. | ||
| And doesn't realize it. | ||
| And he's like in the middle of, I believe it takes place in New Orleans or Louisiana or somewhere down there. | ||
| It's really hot and sweaty and it seems like madness. | ||
| Robert De Niro is the devil. | ||
| And Robert De Niro is a fucking amazing devil. | ||
| Did he play a better devil than Al Pacino? | ||
| It's so different. | ||
| It's smoldering. | ||
| It's smoldering and believable. | ||
| Go back to that picture. | ||
| Look at that picture. | ||
| Make that big. | ||
| I'm telling you, Robert De Niro might be the most convincing devil ever in a movie. | ||
| Because he's not trying to scare you. | ||
| He figured out a way to play it off. | ||
| Like, the conversation we're having is nonsense. | ||
| Because you're going to hell. | ||
| Like, he's saying that. | ||
| There's no tension in anything he says. | ||
| Everything is like, you're going to hell. | ||
| Like, I'm the devil, and you're going to hell. | ||
| It's very matter-of-fact, it sounds like. | ||
| Yeah, and Mickey Rourke's character is trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. | ||
| It's like he's having these, like... | ||
| Bizarre feelings about reality. | ||
| Damn, that's crazy. | ||
| I gotta watch it again. | ||
| I'm trying to remember specifics about it, but I'm pretty sure the premise was that he sold his soul to the devil. | ||
| And Robert De Niro came to take his soul. | ||
| See if you can find the premise. | ||
| What the premise of Angel Heart was. | ||
| But Robert De Niro, he gets my vote. | ||
| That's the greatest devil ever. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Mickey Rourke is a private detective contracted by Louis Cipher. | ||
| Louis Cipher. | ||
| Get it? | ||
| Robert De Niro to track down an iconic singer, Johnny Favorite. | ||
| However, everybody that Angel questions about Favorite seems to me to tragic demise. | ||
| Eventually, the trail leads Angel to New Orleans where he learns that Favorite had dabbled in the black arts as Favorite's whereabouts and true identity become clear. | ||
| Angel learns that being... | ||
| Being hired by Cypher was not a random choice. | ||
| That's a teaser. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I'm pretty sure that's what it was. | ||
| I'm pretty sure that he had sold his soul. | ||
| There we go. | ||
| It's a dope movie, man. | ||
| I think it's like Mickey Rourke at his prime. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was in his prime in this movie. | |
| He was one of the... | ||
| Again, it's like we were talking about Tyson or we're talking about anybody else. | ||
| There's only a few years you can exist at that high of a level of RPM. Yeah. | ||
| Just fucking... | ||
| We're breaking it on... | ||
| We're re-entering. | ||
| The tiles are chipping off. | ||
| We're on fire. | ||
| That guy hit some... | ||
| Like Chinatown. | ||
| Remember that movie? | ||
| Chinatown. | ||
| That's true. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He hit some high levels with those movies, man. | |
| In Sin City? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He re-envisited himself. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Guys like that, man? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fucking De Niro. | |
| De Niro, dude. | ||
| How about Taxi Driver? | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| How about Raging Bull? | ||
| Raging Bull, yeah. | ||
| The most quotable movie ever. | ||
| Yeah, Raging Bull is shit. | ||
| Raging Bull, I mean just... | ||
| The Irishman was good. | ||
| The Irishman was cool. | ||
| It was long as fuck. | ||
| I still haven't seen it. | ||
| You can't fuck no bitch to it if you watch on Netflix. | ||
| That shit long as fuck. | ||
| Bitch be like, I don't understand this shit. | ||
| Shut your dumb ass up, bitch. | ||
| It's the Irishman. | ||
| Is it complex? | ||
| Is it more confusing than Tenet? | ||
| Tenet's super complicated. | ||
| Tenet fucking sucks. | ||
| I hate Tenet. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| You like that movie? | ||
| I liked 85% of it. | ||
| I hate this shit. | ||
| Yeah, which is good enough for me. | ||
| I hate Tenet. | ||
| I go to sleep ten minutes in. | ||
| I can't even get through that shit. | ||
| It's like that other shit that's like that. | ||
| The same director. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Come on, nigga. | ||
| I feel like the whole fucking movie they're trying to play mind tricks with me. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I don't want to fuck with it. | ||
| I see your point. | ||
| Do you like straightforward action movies? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Love straightforward action movies. | ||
| Like John Wick? | ||
| I mean, I don't love John Wick because I don't love the script and some of the antics of the shit, but I like the shooting and shit like that. | ||
| I like the action of it, but I'm trying to see if it's like a great action movie. | ||
| I'm trying to see what's the last great action movie that I saw. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| It's been a while, right? | ||
| Since one really clicked? | ||
| The old guard was good to me. | ||
| What's the old guard? | ||
| It's a movie with Charlize Theron. | ||
| I didn't see that. | ||
| It's pretty good. | ||
| It's on Netflix. | ||
| It's about people who can't die. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, Jesus Christ. | |
| Yeah, so it's like she's been around for centuries and she can't get killed. | ||
| She'd have been in different wars and shit like that. | ||
| The Civil War, all this shit, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| So it's like, you know, it's about her and a group of people on the earth. | ||
| It's like certain people that can't die. | ||
| You know, that gives me anxiety. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Legitimately. | ||
| Not be able to die? | ||
| Well, here's the thing. | ||
| Here's the question. | ||
| Do you enjoy life right now? | ||
| Word. | ||
| I do. | ||
| Love it. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| What if it goes on forever? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| What do you mean forever? | ||
| When does it end? | ||
| When does it end? | ||
| Everybody wants to know when it ends. | ||
| Like, if you said that you are you as you are right now forever, are you okay with that? | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| Like, what if you never get sick and you never get old and you just stay right here forever? | ||
| Is that good enough? | ||
| Are you sure? | ||
| Are you sure you're not gonna go mad? | ||
| Like, how long can you stay right here forever? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| If it gets to be like 900,000 years from now, and I'm like, dude, I can't do this anymore. | ||
| I can't do it anymore. | ||
| I'm so bored. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can't believe I can't die. | |
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's a scene in that movie. | ||
| I don't even want to give it away, but it's one of the people in the movie that can't die or whatever. | ||
| So it's like a group. | ||
| I forgot what time period they were in, but they thought the bitch was like a witch. | ||
| So these people, they was like, yo, we got to burn. | ||
| They keep burning her. | ||
| They keep hanging her. | ||
| She can't die. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| So they're like, all right. | ||
| So they lock her in a cage and then put her underwater. | ||
| So she can't get out the cage and she just drowns every day and comes back to life every day. | ||
| That's got to be insanity. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| So it's like she drowns every second and then comes back to life. | ||
| Drowns and she's locked underwater. | ||
| So they put her under the seat. | ||
| That gives me anxiety. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Isn't that a crazy way to think? | ||
| I was like, damn, I could never die, but I'm dying every day and living. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| be shook that's why I was like yeah that's a good film you need to fuck with that. | ||
| What a clever storyline. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Cause you know it's gonna hit on the two things that everybody's totally terrified of. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like the nonsense of it all where it has no meaning because you just do the same thing over and over and over and over again cause you die everyday. | ||
| And they feel all the pain of dying, but they just come back to life. | ||
| But you come back to life. | ||
| They feel it all. | ||
| It's the same, always. | ||
| Then your lungs explode, yeah. | ||
| That's like something, again, it's like biblical. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a biblical kind of thing, right? | ||
| It is. | ||
| Reincarnation, yeah. | ||
| It is kind of biblical because it's so crazy. | ||
| It makes so little sense. | ||
| It is crazy. | ||
| I think the good movie I just saw was Judas and the Black Messiah. | ||
| I just saw that too as well. | ||
| That sticks to your ribs a little bit. | ||
| The part that fucked me up was the actual real dude that was in the movie at the end. | ||
| The dude that set him up with the feds. | ||
| He looked just like the Keith action. | ||
| Yeah, he looked just like him. | ||
| And how he killed himself right after that documentary came out. | ||
| I heard he ran in traffic. | ||
| Oh, he ran in traffic. | ||
| You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, he committed suicide, I assume, hanging, yeah. | ||
| But no, I heard he tried to hang himself, but yeah, he ran into traffic. | ||
| Yeah, he ran into traffic. | ||
| That's a crazy suicide. | ||
| William O'Neill. | ||
| So yeah, he did Eye on the Prize in PBS in like 1990 when... | ||
| Yeah, when he talks about his involvement with the feds and him going to assassinate Fred Hampton and him being involved in it. | ||
| And then, yeah, that night he kills himself. | ||
| Why would he do that? | ||
| Like, what got, like, eye on the prize? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, man, stop and see some black history shit. | |
| Come on here and talk about being a snitch and killing one of the leaders. | ||
| Eye on the prize, all about Fred Hampton and the nigga who got him killed. | ||
| And the nigga that got him killed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They really nailed it. | ||
| And he was on that motherfucker trying to defend that shit. | ||
| Like, yeah, I talked about it, but I felt like my contribution was like... | ||
| He thought that he was like a black history martyr. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Well, remember in the movie he was even... | ||
| I mean, we can't talk about the movie, but yeah. | ||
| I mean, it's a true story, so I guess he was saying that he had three leaders. | ||
| It was like, you know, looking at Jesus and Martin Luther King, and then this FBI agent was like his other idol or whatever. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's another one that QAnon didn't promote! | ||
| Nothing is spears. | ||
| That's the problem with something like QAnon. | ||
| You've got to chase down the people that live in the center of the earth first. | ||
| We've got to find out, is that true? | ||
| Okay, let's move on to kid fuckers. | ||
| We're going to eventually get to civil liberties and racial justice, but we've got to take care of the kid fuckers. | ||
| That's the Catholic Church. | ||
| That's the craziest part of 20th and 21st century America. | ||
| Right, and R. Kelly in jail. | ||
| How come there ain't no Pope R. Kelly, they want to take down Epstein, he didn't kill himself, but it's like, yeah, we still... | ||
| Epstein alive. | ||
| The government bailed out the Catholic Church who doesn't pay taxes, $4.4 billion. | ||
| Well, there's some weird shit, too, where they would relocate people. | ||
| They would find someone who had molested children in one particular parish, one particular area, and they would take them to a new place. | ||
| South America, probably. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Is the documentary Hear No Evil? | ||
| I think that's the documentary. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| There's one of them about that, but there's one case of one guy who went on to molest, I think it was 100 deaf kids. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| They had moved him from one place where he was doing something to kids to another place where he may have molested as many as 100 deaf kids. | ||
| Do you ever wonder why that... | ||
| And they moved him there? | ||
| Like, why that's so rampant in that religion? | ||
| I think there's no excuses. | ||
| Just like there's no excuses for R. Kelly, there's no excuses for these guys, right? | ||
| We're just talking about these things. | ||
| You can't tell people they can't have sex. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| It's just like telling people they can't eat or telling people they can't drink water or telling people they can't sleep. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We have urges. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And for you to tell this priest that he can't ever, you're perverting what it is to be a person. | ||
| So whatever comes out of that perversion, whether it's Kid fucking, or rape, or self-harm, or whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| Whatever, drug abuse, whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| It comes out of this oppression. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's just not good for anybody. | ||
| We all know that. | ||
| We all know that. | ||
| It's not good for anybody in any walk of life. | ||
| They volunteer for that kind of trauma, though. | ||
| They don't know any better, man. | ||
| They're fucking kids when they go in. | ||
| When I was in high school, there was a kid who lived right up the street, and he was becoming a priest, and I knew his sister. | ||
| I went to school with his sister, and we would travel on the bus together to school, and it was known. | ||
| He was a couple years ahead of me. | ||
| It was known he was going to be a priest. | ||
| We all knew it. | ||
| And like they get them in when they're young and they ordain them and there's places where I'm sure, just like everything else in the world, where they're strictly adhering to the Bible and they're wonderful, beautiful people. | ||
| They just want everybody to love everyone and they want the best for the community. | ||
| But like everything else, there's good ones and there's bad ones. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the problem is when you protect the bad ones because you don't want to destroy the whole organization, then you let people like us talk and go, hey, they're fucking kids. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| How many kids? | ||
| Like a lot of kids. | ||
| A lot of kids. | ||
| Thousands. | ||
| Hundreds of thousands. | ||
| Who knows how many? | ||
| Right. | ||
| They haven't documented it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Anybody who knows, people who know priests know that there's been some shit that's gone down. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's like the cops. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| In every city, though. | ||
| We gotta defund the Catholic Church. | ||
| In every city. | ||
| We gotta defund that shit. | ||
| We gotta defund the Catholic Church, man. | ||
| You can't do that anymore. | ||
| Just like you can't lie if you're a banker. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Just like you can't have poor construction standards if you're a civil engineer. | ||
| You gotta do the right thing, man, across the board. | ||
| Whether it's with religion or with finances or with government or healthcare. | ||
| Everything has to be done the right way across the board. | ||
| I can't fuck with Catholicism because I can't go sit and talk to no motherfucker and confess to no human being. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, what the fuck? | |
| So you just holding everybody's secrets. | ||
| You go outside and be like, hey, man, shit. | ||
| You know that nigga be digging in his ass, man. | ||
| I had a bit about confession. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, why the fuck am I going to confess to you, bitch? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| Who are you confessing to? | ||
| So what makes you so much better than me? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| That's a major question. | ||
| Yeah, that's crazy. | ||
| I couldn't do no shit like that. | ||
| So I always looked at that like... | ||
| Some dudes just wake up every day and go, keep it in your pants. | ||
| And they keep going. | ||
| They get through years and years of just keep it in your pants. | ||
| They don't do anything. | ||
| Keep it in your pants. | ||
| It's that one time. | ||
| It's like being an NFL DB. I'll stick this guy for 99% or maybe 85% of these passes. | ||
| Knee blows apart. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or you get a double move. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Both those things can happen. | ||
| Damn it, man. | ||
| Isn't it crazy, though? | ||
| How can you go... | ||
| Why do you sign up to not fuck? | ||
| Right. | ||
| It doesn't make sense. | ||
| You're voluntarily doing it. | ||
| Well, here's the reason for it. | ||
| Do you know the reason for it? | ||
| Those guys were running shit. | ||
| This was the thing. | ||
| Back in the day, before they made them celibate, they were like, we got a problem here. | ||
| These priests are fucking all these women. | ||
| They're probably fucking everybody. | ||
| You're talking about thousands of years ago. | ||
| People were wild. | ||
| They lived to be 12. They just fucked each other and jumped off cliffs. | ||
| They didn't know what they were doing. | ||
| They were wild people. | ||
| And that's when they decided, hey, hey, hey, if you want to be a priest, you can't fuck anymore. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I can't believe they did this. | ||
| It's like impeaching Trump for the third time. | ||
| They put the brakes on the chaos. | ||
| They're like, no more. | ||
| You got to stop fucking everybody. | ||
| That's how I feel like monogamy got invented. | ||
| I feel like a bad motherfucker that couldn't get no bitches. | ||
| Like, oh, you taking all the bitches. | ||
| Hell no, just one. | ||
| Only one. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You were entitled to one bitch. | ||
| What book is that? | ||
| I just feel like, you know what I mean? | ||
| I think that's how that shit got created, man. | ||
| Do you think it would be looked at differently if there was one woman who had, like, ten boyfriends? | ||
| It's one woman who just had a lot of money, and she had these ten male strippers. | ||
| It don't bother me. | ||
| Chaka Khan fucked everybody in her band. | ||
| Hey man, there's a book called Wheel of Time. | ||
| And it worked. | ||
| There's a book called Wheel of Time and it's all about that polyamory stuff and women running. | ||
| They say, I let my dude go fuck other people or whatever because I'm a busy person. | ||
| So these women, these queens are running the country and they make these dudes, you know, like, I can't always be with him so I don't want to make him feel bad. | ||
| So yeah, you can go fuck other people. | ||
| Is that the plot of Wonder Woman 1984? | ||
| Yes, Joe! | ||
| I don't know if that's the plot. | ||
| That's Wheel of Time. | ||
| It's just a book. | ||
| Wonder Woman. | ||
| That bitch played Wonder Woman fine as fuck. | ||
| I fuck shit out of that. | ||
| I wonder, bitch. | ||
| How did it feel? | ||
| The first one was good. | ||
| I really enjoyed the first one. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| I think DC trying to come... | ||
| Well, they can't fuck with Marvel. | ||
| Let's be real. | ||
| They got Batman. | ||
| Isn't that interesting, though? | ||
| Batman's just a rich dude. | ||
| He's just a rich dude with a cool suit. | ||
| That's why he's the best superhero, because he don't need no fake-ass power. | ||
| He's a weird one, because you don't really want to be him, because you could. | ||
| Anybody had the suit and all the gadgets and shit? | ||
| He's not particularly talented. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| I did see Damon Wayne's Blank Man. | ||
| That's better. | ||
| See, the thing is, Batman doesn't have any physical... | ||
| The idea of Batman versus Superman is so fucking stupid. | ||
| Ridiculous. | ||
| It's so stupid. | ||
| This is an alien who can kill you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nigga, hold on. | |
| Time out, nigga. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If I got the motherfucking kryptonite, he can't do shit. | |
| Alright, but where you get kryptonite from? | ||
| Batman had that shit. | ||
| Yeah, he got that shit. | ||
| He paid for it. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| He had kryptonite guns and all that shit. | ||
| He said, fuck Superman. | ||
| I just want to look at things rationally when I'm talking about Superman. | ||
| When it comes to Superman, there was a movie where he spun the earth backwards and went back in time. | ||
| What is that rich dude in a cape gonna do to fuck with that? | ||
| You gonna pull out your kryptonite? | ||
| Are you really? | ||
| I respect that. | ||
| This guy's got laser beams for eyeballs. | ||
| He can be way away from you and kill you. | ||
| You're not fucking with him. | ||
| I respect that. | ||
| He can kill you in his eyes. | ||
| I think Superman's such an old, generic, old 1930s white idea of a superpower. | ||
| Because I'm like, that's so bullshit. | ||
| You can do everything. | ||
| Yeah, you can do everything. | ||
| Yeah, fuck you. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| If I had a superpower like we said at breakfast, I would want to be that dude in the Jumper movie. | ||
| Look, he's turning back time. | ||
| Look at this movie. | ||
| Superman's gonna turn back time. | ||
| Because somebody died, right? | ||
| It's probably the greatest thing that ever happened since the outlaw Josie Wales kicked open a saloon door. | ||
| Is this the one with Richard Pryor? | ||
| It looks so bad! | ||
| No, this isn't the one with Richard Pryor. | ||
| This is before that. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| Yeah, this is when... | ||
| I think it is. | ||
| I don't think it's before... | ||
| I don't think it's the Richard Pryor one, though. | ||
| Look, you get it? | ||
| He's making the Earth go backwards. | ||
| Get it? | ||
| Get it? | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| He can go so fast that he can actually... | ||
| Oh, don't worry about animals being extinct. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| I just have this thing I have to do for this chick. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| What if you go too far? | ||
| What if I bring back the Black Plague? | ||
| Whoopsies. | ||
| I just want to save this chick. | ||
| I really want to fuck. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You selfish piece of shit. | ||
| I mean, you break it down like that. | ||
| That nigga sued, man. | ||
| He didn't know what the fuck was going to happen. | ||
| He tried to rewind niggas back into slavery. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| For real though! | ||
| What if he stopped at 1492? | ||
| Fuck! | ||
| I gotta eat something. | ||
| We're gonna spin it up a little. | ||
| We're gonna get it right! | ||
| Hey man, you better fast forward this shit. | ||
| And the wife's yelling at him. | ||
| Why didn't you use the map? | ||
| That's the wife. | ||
| Lois Lane. | ||
| And he had a thing for Lois Lane. | ||
| Which didn't make any sense. | ||
| You know why Batman better than Superman? | ||
| Because he had real ops. | ||
| Did he? | ||
| Nobody had no... | ||
| Who was Superman beef with? | ||
| Lex Luger? | ||
| He had no beef. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| The problem is they didn't have a lot of bad guys back then. | ||
| Batman had real bad guys. | ||
| He had the Joker, the Riddler. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You're as good as your... | ||
| Like with boxing, man. | ||
| You're as good as your opponents, man. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| I can't fuck with that point. | ||
| Yeah, he never had no op. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| He never had no real op, man. | ||
| Who was he fighting, man? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| He was fighting hurricanes and natural disasters and shit. | ||
| Yeah, that's the point about boxing. | ||
| And Superman so caught up on a bitch, Batman was switching bitches out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You on low as Batman. | |
| Batman had all kind of hoes. | ||
| Batman fucking a reporter. | ||
| He fucking the bitch at the laboratory. | ||
| Mayor, deputy mayor. | ||
| Deputy mayor. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| He could have been gay. | ||
| He could have been fucking the what nigga. | ||
| MF Doom said that Batty Boy song about Robin and Batman. | ||
| Oh, nah. | ||
| Damn, MF Doom said that recipe's MF Doom. | ||
| I don't think Batman was gay. | ||
| I was joking. | ||
| So I don't support that MF Doom song. | ||
| I feel you, MF Doom. | ||
| Yeah, baddie boys. | ||
| That's a good one. | ||
| MF Doom did not show up at his concerts sometimes. | ||
| He had sent another motherfucker in a mask. | ||
| That was very clever. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like his sore throat or something? | ||
| No, it was no sore throat. | ||
| He just didn't want to go. | ||
| He's a fucking peculiar individual. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He had so much anxiety, he didn't want to... | ||
| It wasn't fucking anxiety. | ||
| It wasn't? | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It wasn't anxiety, no. | |
| That motherfucker was doing drugs and drinking, man. | ||
| It was MF Doom. | ||
| He was getting fucked up. | ||
| If anything creates anxiety. | ||
| So they say he had anxiety. | ||
| That's what he would say. | ||
| I think that he's... | ||
| One of the most mysterious people ever. | ||
| That's what's so great about him. | ||
| So I think that his just sometimes say, fuck it. | ||
| If I know I'm about to get some money to do a show and I can send a motherfucker there and I don't gotta go and I can still get the money, I would do that shit. | ||
| Just to be like, you know what? | ||
| I could fuck with these people and I could do that. | ||
| I mean, it's all some Banksy shit. | ||
| He was sending somebody in a mask. | ||
| The Banksy thing is so crazy. | ||
| How long is that guy going to be able to keep that up? | ||
| Like, people know who he is a little bit, but I think... | ||
| They don't, though. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Not really. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, there's no, like, stamp on it. | ||
| But the art is so good. | ||
| The art is fascinating. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But also, it's like the idea that there's this guy that nobody knows exactly who it is, and he makes this art that's coveted by everybody around the world, because it doesn't just stand for art. | ||
| It also stands for some sort of a rejection of our modern culture. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Some weird ways. | ||
| He did some crazy shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He did that, uh... | ||
| I think he made a painting or some shit and like sold it. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And then shredded it. | ||
| When it was sold at auction, there was a shredder built into the frame. | ||
| Into the frame. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| It didn't even go all the way down the frame. | ||
| This is the jokes on him. | ||
| I would want that. | ||
| More than I would want a real one. | ||
| Because first of all, it's not like the image was like a photograph or anything like that. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's not like it's so perfect, you can't believe it's really a painting. | ||
| No, it's like a fascinating piece of art. | ||
| So if it's got all these shred marks because he tricked me and cut my fucking painting up, I'm even happier I bought it. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Let me see what it looks like. | ||
| It wasn't supposed to stop. | ||
| Good. | ||
| And it happened right after the auction. | ||
| Let it go all the way down and be like tassels. | ||
| Like a fucking hula hoop. | ||
| So he didn't shred the whole shit? | ||
| No, it was supposed to go all the way through, but the thing he set up fucked up. | ||
| I think the halfway thing actually makes it a little more valuable. | ||
| It's all interesting. | ||
| Even if it goes all the way to the bottom, it shreds this painting. | ||
| If it stops right there, just that alone is really interesting. | ||
| Just the fact that this is the painting that was up on the wall and it shreds like that. | ||
| I would want that to sit the way it is there, post-shredded, more than I would even want it in a frame. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Because that's not even his best work. | ||
| Well, no. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| The girl with the... | ||
| But it might be because of this. | ||
| That's exactly. | ||
| That's what I was trying to get to, yeah. | ||
| Where does it stop, Jamie? | ||
| Right there. | ||
| That's it where it stops? | ||
| That's perfect. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's perfect. | ||
| I'll take it. | ||
| You can afford it, yeah. | ||
| No, because it represents chaos. | ||
| Like, I don't want a perfect painting. | ||
| I want a painting where he tricked me into buying this fucking painting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Got sliced... | ||
| That is your taste in art, though. | ||
| You like chaos, though. | ||
| I definitely like chaos. | ||
| Yeah, that's your shit. | ||
| That's why I love Rose Battle. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| That's one of the reasons why I just love to come to your show. | ||
| Rose Battle was the most creative, comic-writing-focused show. | ||
| It was an amazing show. | ||
| The Handicap Guy was the best for me. | ||
| Oh, Joe Urel, yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| And it can be again. | ||
| I mean, once all this shit... | ||
| Die sound and we can do live comedy other than Florida and Texas. | ||
| Come to Texas? | ||
| Fuck, I'm leaving California. | ||
| That's what I'm talking about, Freddie. | ||
| I'm out of here, man. | ||
| When it comes back, we got some big plans to roast about working with one of your producers on it. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Who? | ||
| Mad Lib. | ||
| Mad Lib. | ||
| Shout out to Mad Lib. | ||
| Texas, man, right here you could do some great roast battles. | ||
| There's some funny people out here, man. | ||
| They had a thing called Spike Club out here. | ||
| So they're well-versed. | ||
| They're well-versed in the roast. | ||
| This was one of the first places we came when we were touring. | ||
| Let me ask you this, because this has troubled me. | ||
| Why is it that some people who are really good roasters can't apply that same energy to making their act as good as where it is when they attack someone? | ||
| By what they look like, or how stupid they are, or whatever their life is fucked up about that they know about. | ||
| Like, some guys are so good at that. | ||
| They hit so hard. | ||
| But they can't figure out how to do that in just stand-up. | ||
| So you go see them at a roast, and you go, holy shit, this guy's a killer. | ||
| But then you see their stand-up, and you go... | ||
| Not the same. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Tell me why. | ||
| They're different columns. | ||
| They're different... | ||
| There's different pillars in, I guess, the comedy genre, right? | ||
| Like, you have sketch, you have stand-up, then you have roast battle, and you have improv, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And roast battle's different because your opponent is the subject. | ||
| Like, with stand-up, there's no opponent, it's just you're trying to make the crowd laugh. | ||
| This, you're trying to make the crowd laugh, you're trying to take this guy down, you're trying to make your idols proud of you, you're trying to make this crowd laugh, you know what I mean? | ||
| There's so much that goes into it, and they're one-liners for the most part, and it's a subject. | ||
| Not to say that you aren't the subject when you're doing your own act, but there's so many things that go into you building an hour or half an hour or 45 minutes to me just trying to get through 12 jokes. | ||
| I think so, yes, but I also think so, that there's something that forces them into action that regular stand-up doesn't. | ||
| Fight or flight kind of thing. | ||
| Yeah, but you know you've got a thing that's going to happen in like, you know, 18 days or whatever the fuck it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, I don't know how far in advance. | ||
| Sometimes it can be a week, sometimes it can be two months, yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So they have a date, and whether it's a week or two months, that's what they're focused on. | ||
| And then they start writing. | ||
| I'm going to say this, what do you think about that? | ||
| And they'll practice their friends like, ah! | ||
| You know, and they get real hyper-focused. | ||
| But what if everybody did that with everything? | ||
| What if everybody did that with your whole act? | ||
| Why don't we? | ||
| I mean, yeah. | ||
| That's the great question. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know why everybody just, like, attack their set like that. | ||
| Because it does take a lot of respect to, like, think about somebody else instead of your own act. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, so you're right. | ||
| It's almost like how fast do you run if you're running by yourself versus how fast do you run if you're in a race? | ||
| If you run it by yourself, like, this is it. | ||
| It's as fast as I can go. | ||
| But if you're in a race, he's like, oh, well, I can run faster. | ||
| You're like, fuck you, bitch. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then you're running. | ||
| Instant comps. | ||
| The competition level just raises. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Boxing. | ||
| So that's the thing about roast battle that makes it so special. | ||
| It forces people into action where when they're not confronted by, like, impending doom, if they don't get some fucking good solid... | ||
| Word. | ||
| That's like, you know, I'll quote that to basketball, actually. | ||
| I remember, like, I was better at maybe playing a team sport because my position was point guard rather than me just, like, playing one-on-one with the dude. | ||
| Like, I may beat him, he may beat me, but I wouldn't look good as a one-on-one player, but I'd look way better with the team. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I get that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Stand-up is like, to me, it just seemed very conversational. | ||
| My favorite stand-up guys are guys that I feel like they just like talking to me. | ||
| I don't feel like they trying to hit me with punchlines. | ||
| I feel like it's just all natural and they always come back and make it all linked together. | ||
| To me, that's what a whole good stand-up act is. | ||
| It's just storytelling. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| All it is. | ||
| Like Robin Harris. | ||
| He told the goddamn Bay Bay Kid story and it turned into a fucking movie. | ||
| He has one of my favorite jokes ever. | ||
| He goes, I don't like a pretty girl. | ||
| He goes, pretty girl's a lot of work. | ||
| He goes, I like an ugly girl. | ||
| You can tell him anything. | ||
| He goes, bitch, I'm going to the moon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She goes, well, you be careful while you're up there. | |
| It's one of those jokes where you hear it, your knees get weak. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| You fall on the ground. | ||
| Robin Harris was an assassin. | ||
| He was an assassin. | ||
| The joke about the piccolo player. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now you're that one. | ||
| You gotta go that one. | ||
| He said, I want to shake the head of the man. | ||
| That's it next to the man. | ||
| That's it next to the man. | ||
| That called my piccolo player a motherfucker. | ||
| It's about your motherfuckers. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| It's such a ridiculous bet. | ||
| Bro, it's so crazy. | ||
| I can't believe you ain't ever heard. | ||
| I found out about him right before he died. | ||
| I found out about him when I was living in Boston. | ||
| There's one album that's released of Robin Harris. | ||
| You can get it on cassette. | ||
| I don't know if it's available on CD or on iTunes or anything like that. | ||
| He is one of the greats. | ||
| Dude, he was so funny. | ||
| He was Sweet Dick Willie in Through the Right Thing. | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| He was in Mo' Better Blues, too. | ||
| He told that joke in Mo' Better Blues about the fat girl. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| Robin Harris, he was a pioneer. | ||
| He was a pioneer. | ||
| He was a guy that made it look like he was having so much fun. | ||
| He figured out this vibe where he was just having so much fun, and he would have so much fun watching him. | ||
| There was this confidence that you had in him that he was funny. | ||
| Bitch, I'm going to the moon! | ||
| He that old black uncle that always got some shit to say about something. | ||
| Like, he go complain about everything. | ||
| It could be a spread. | ||
| He's like, oh man, well fuck this shit. | ||
| They put too much goddamn lettuce on him, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck this. | |
| Like, he always got, like you said, from Do The Right Thing, when he was Sweet Dick Willie, man, he's like, why they call you Sweet Dick Willie? | ||
| He's like, my bitches call me Sweet. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| He's just an agitated Older black men cursing is so funny to me. | ||
| Because I grew up on that. | ||
| My granddad was such a... | ||
| He cursed so fucking much. | ||
| So him and his friends cursing is just some of the most comical shit to me. | ||
| I don't know why, but I watch that shit on YouTube. | ||
| I be pulling up old black men cursing and I watch that shit. | ||
| Is that a category? | ||
| Yeah, bro. | ||
| They just be like... | ||
| They just say dumb shit. | ||
| Like, go to hell. | ||
| Go to shit. | ||
| They curse different. | ||
| I saw Bernie Mac in Boston. | ||
| Oh my god, Bernie Mac is the greatest. | ||
| Before the Kings of Comedy, when he was doing clubs, he did the Comedy Connection in Boston. | ||
| I don't remember why I was in the area. | ||
| Maybe I was coming from a gig or going to a gig or whatever, and I stopped in. | ||
| God damn, dude. | ||
| God damn, he was murdering. | ||
| Just murdering. | ||
| I'm pretty sure it was the Comedy Connection. | ||
| I'm trying to remember which club. | ||
| I'm pretty sure it was the Comedy Connection of Fanny Hall. | ||
| But I never remember the power that he had in his delivery on stage. | ||
| I would love to see that dude live. | ||
| I never got to see a lot. | ||
| When he was like, I ain't scared of you, motherfuckers. | ||
| It was that kind of power. | ||
| That fearless shit, I think we all look for that as standards, right? | ||
| Dude, let me tell you one of the best sets I've ever seen in my fucking life. | ||
| Eddie Griffin on Def Jam. | ||
| One of the best sets I've ever seen. | ||
| Def Jam has some fucking classic sets. | ||
| Eddie Griffin comes out in shorts. | ||
| Eddie Griffin comes out guns blazing in shorts. | ||
| And I remember watching him kill. | ||
| And I was probably like a year into comedy. | ||
| I'm like, I should just quit. | ||
| I should just quit. | ||
| I should just quit. | ||
| I just can't do that. | ||
| I can't do that. | ||
| That guy is prime, man. | ||
| Dude, people forget. | ||
| People forget. | ||
| You know who else people forget about? | ||
| Damon Wayans. | ||
| Damon Wayans. | ||
| You know why people forget? | ||
| I mean, man. | ||
| Because after the comedy career goes and they get all these goddamn shows, like, you think it's Damon Wayans from My Wife and Kids, but Damon Wayans' HBO stand-up is one of the greatest of all time. | ||
| Yeah, The Last Stand. | ||
| The Last Stand. | ||
| The Last Stand. | ||
| That was the shit. | ||
| He broke the mic. | ||
| He talked about Tommy Hearns. | ||
| Did he? | ||
| Yeah, he talked about Tommy Hearns in there. | ||
| He talked about Mike Tyson, too. | ||
| Mike Tyson and Tommy Hearns. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He said Mike Tyson walked up to me and was like, hey, I'ma fuck you with your ass. | |
| Shit. | ||
| I said, okay, mate. | ||
| No, he said, well, he goes, I have to talk stuff like, well, don't be taking so long. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah! | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Oh, my God, you remember that? | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| That's another underrated dude, man. | ||
| Dude, Damon Wayans. | ||
| Damon Wayans was one of the greatest, bro. | ||
| He made a shitload of money doing TV shows. | ||
| Yeah, he did. | ||
| And he just stopped. | ||
| People don't give Jamie Foxx his credit. | ||
| He loves stand-up. | ||
| Dude, I saw him at the improv. | ||
| He was murdering. | ||
| I want to see Jamie Foxx do another stand-up. | ||
| The lab. | ||
| He was fucking around in the lab. | ||
| You want to talk about discipline? | ||
| That guy has filmed every show he's ever done since the 1990s. | ||
| He brings a tripod and he brings a camera, some sort of video camera, to every show he does. | ||
| He films all of them, he edits them himself, and he goes over all of his material. | ||
| Damon Wayans? | ||
| Damon Wayans. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Every show he's ever done. | ||
| He edits, he does it all himself. | ||
| He brought, he was carrying the fucking tripod with this camera at the improv and he set it down. | ||
| And we were talking. | ||
| And he's like, I film every show I do. | ||
| And I've done it since the 1990s. | ||
| It's like thousands of shows. | ||
| He goes over everything. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Smart. | |
| No, that's what you're supposed to do. | ||
| I want to see Jamie Foxx do another show. | ||
| People would be underrating his stand-up. | ||
| He's one of the best, too, man. | ||
| I Might Need Security is a hell of a stand-up special. | ||
| He could do anything. | ||
| There's people that could just do anything. | ||
| I Might Need Security. | ||
| Man. | ||
| Shit, it's just... | ||
| There's people that just, they know that he can sing, he can do comedy, he can pretend he's different human beings. | ||
| He was Ray Fox. | ||
| I mean, Ray Charles, rather. | ||
| He was Ray Charles, and he was brilliant. | ||
| And he realized how talented he is at singing. | ||
| And he's actually playing the fucking piano. | ||
| I mean, come on, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You think about that roster for In Living Color, right? | |
| I was just about to say, you took the words right out of my mouth. | ||
| Jim Carrey, Jamie Foxx, Damon Wayans, Keenan, Kim Wayans. | ||
| I was at a pool hall in 1991, 92, whatever the fuck it was, and we were playing pool, and I looked up the first episode I ever saw of In Living Color. | ||
| It was during a football game, there was like a halftime thing, and Jim Carrey was playing a burn victim. | ||
| He was playing that. | ||
| Fire Marshal Bill. | ||
| Fire Marshal Bill. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And I remember we were playing pool. | ||
| Me and my friend Johnny were like, oh my god, I can't fucking believe this is real. | ||
| That guy's pretending he's a burn victim. | ||
| You know what's kind of funny? | ||
| When he did Joe Biden, the two characters were not that far apart. | ||
| Right! | ||
| Let me tell you what I'm done. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I mean... | ||
| Let me see what this Joe Biden's like, because I know Fire Marshal Bill. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Tommy Davidson was there, too. | ||
| That Living Color cast was one of the best. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Still. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| To this day. | ||
| Better than any SNL cast, man. | ||
| Well, they have good individuals. | ||
| Except the one with Eddie Murphy. | ||
| There's some great ones in the early days with John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd and Gilda Radner. | ||
| There's some great ones in the early days. | ||
| But the problem with Saturday Night Live is not that there's not amazing sketches. | ||
| It's just so many of them. | ||
| Every week they have to do a new one. | ||
| There's just so many. | ||
| The odds are you're going to have all perfect performances. | ||
| All bangers, right? | ||
| With his mouth, he's tightening that lip. | ||
| The rest is similar. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a different character, obviously. | |
| Maybe he's just tapping into that old boy. | ||
| Just like him, though. | ||
| There's going to be a progression of things that happen. | ||
| People are going to realize that, okay, we can relax. | ||
| Trump is never going to be president again. | ||
| He's not the president. | ||
| It's over. | ||
| Joe Biden's won now. | ||
| What have we done? | ||
| But Trump can run again. | ||
| But can he? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| He's supposed to announce it again this week. | ||
| That he's going to run again? | ||
| At the CPAC that he's supposed to talk at, he's supposed to say he's going to announce it. | ||
| You might have to call those aliens. | ||
| Right, so imagine how he's about to turn these Trumpers all the way up, dog. | ||
| They already stormed. | ||
| Why can't he just do a talk show? | ||
| We need to talk to him about podcasts. | ||
| One of the things I was like, man, he's going to be the greatest free agency in podcast history. | ||
| That would, right? | ||
| The thing is, he's a super competitive guy. | ||
| Do you ever see that White House press correspondence dinner? | ||
| I think that's what it was, where Obama was on stage and he was talking to Trump and he was making fun of him. | ||
| And he said, here's one thing that I am that you'll never be. | ||
| I'm the president of the United States. | ||
| And everybody goes crazy. | ||
| Have you ever seen that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, allegedly, that's what's stuck in that motherfucker's head. | ||
| I believe it. | ||
| That's what's stuck in his head, and he's like, oh yeah, oh yeah, I don't fucking show you. | ||
| And now he's still on that. | ||
| And then he won. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he won. | |
| He's still on that same shit. | ||
| He won. | ||
| Shitted on Obama. | ||
| Same, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When the history books are done, yeah, we will be sad. | ||
| That guy did that. | ||
| He was a hell of a businessman who had a lot of bankrupt season and got in the office. | ||
| And got in the fucking office. | ||
| Had a hell of a reality show. | ||
| That was number one a bunch. | ||
| I mean, yeah, the guy's just... | ||
| He's an American, true and true. | ||
| He is. | ||
| In the darkest ways. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Precisely. | ||
| I think it's going to heighten our need for something that's better. | ||
| There he is. | ||
| Yes, he's in the audience. | ||
| Oh, Boba Zings, Donald Trump. | ||
| Give me here this. | ||
| We act to focusing on the issues that matter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, did we fake the moon landing? | |
| He's just like, well, maybe it's debatable. | ||
| Say what you will about Mr. Trump. | ||
| He certainly would bring some change to the White House. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Isn't this crazy? | ||
| They show the Trump White House. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Your credentials and breadth of experience. | |
| Wow. | ||
| For example, seriously, just recently, in an episode of Celebrity Apprentice at the steakhouse, the men's cooking team did not impress the judges from Omaha Steaks. | ||
| And there was a lot of blame to go around, but you, Mr. Trump, recognized that the real problem was a lack of leadership. | ||
| And so, ultimately, you didn't blame Little John or Meat Loaf. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You fired Gary Busey. | |
| And these are the kind of decisions that would keep me up at night. | ||
| Damn, he was shitting on him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's in these type decisions that would keep me up at night. | |
| You know, the problem with one of those things is, like, if you know you're just going to cap on Trump when he's in the audience, you kind of should allow him to come up. | ||
| And you should kind of tell him about it in advance. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| Like, what am I planning on doing? | ||
| Well, here's what I'm planning on doing, dude. | ||
| I'm sorry to say this, but I gotta shit all over you. | ||
| You're kind of a ridiculous person, so I'm gonna tell everybody. | ||
| But now you've been warned, now you can shit on me too. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, he shitted on Obama a lot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If he just did that, maybe he wouldn't have ran for president. | |
| Maybe that's just his response for the previous election. | ||
| Bro, that guy got that shit stuck in his head and ran for president. | ||
| And he won. | ||
| And then he won. | ||
| Like Obama, and rightfully so, he had some legitimate criticisms. | ||
| But the way he went about fooling that guy and clowning that guy publicly in front of the world probably created a monster. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| I'm the same way. | ||
| I'm ultra-competitive. | ||
| Me and Trump got the same birthday. | ||
| You believe in that? | ||
| June 14th. | ||
| On flag day? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Is that what makes you competitive though? | ||
| Probably not, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nah, nah, nah. | |
| I'm just a competitive person. | ||
| June 1, you'd still be going after it? | ||
| Yeah, I'm June 1, sure. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Yeah, but me and Trump got the same birthday. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| It used to be cool to say you got the same birthday as Donald Trump, but... | ||
| Yeah, back when he was cool. | ||
| Yeah, back when he was cool with niggas. | ||
| Late 90s. | ||
| It's like if a guy says you were really born in Kenya... | ||
| You know, this is all bullshit. | ||
| You were born in Kenya. | ||
| Like, I kind of think you guys need to get together. | ||
| Thank you, Russia and America 1950. Let's put some cameras on you two guys. | ||
| Hey, Donald, why the fuck do you think he's from Kenya? | ||
| Like, and have them talk. | ||
| Like, if you just snipe at each other from Twitter or whatever you're doing, it's so dumb. | ||
| If you could get Obama and Trump in this fucking room. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| All together. | ||
| Dog. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's when you know I've been compromised. | ||
| The government's got a hold of me. | ||
| They traded me. | ||
| I want to know about UFOs. | ||
| They wanted to get Obama and Trump together. | ||
| I said, I'll do it. | ||
| I'll do it. | ||
| I gotta be high, though. | ||
| I can't do this sober. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| You wouldn't get a word in edgewise. | ||
| I wouldn't want to. | ||
| Occasionally, there's got to be some points where you've got to go stop. | ||
| You've got to stop talking over each other. | ||
| Have courage. | ||
| Have courage in your beliefs enough to let a guy talk first. | ||
| Let it all play out. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| We got plenty of time. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| They never have plenty of time. | ||
| They always have like an hour. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You give them 24 hours. | ||
| You're like, let it go, fellas. | ||
| I would be here. | ||
| I would occasionally leave to pee. | ||
| Jamie would take over. | ||
| He would leave to pee. | ||
| I would hang in as long as it took. | ||
| It's like one of them Pray the Gay Away seminars. | ||
| I would fail to win it. | ||
| I would hang in there until we get the result that we're looking for. | ||
| I'm not scared of hard work. | ||
| We're 84% done. | ||
| I'm not scared of hard work! | ||
| That gay's still in there. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| That has got to be one of the wildest things that we don't criticize. | ||
| The idea that you're going to get a dude and you're going to hold his hand and pray the gay away and that this was a valid approach. | ||
| You can't do that, man. | ||
| You like the fuck you like, man. | ||
| Ain't nothing you can pray on. | ||
| If you're freaky shit, you don't like that. | ||
| I like blonde bitches. | ||
| Ain't nothing gonna change that. | ||
| Take them priests, hold their hands, and be like, pray this shit away. | ||
| I think the problem with the priest is always going to be the problem that they're suppressed. | ||
| And I think there's a thing... | ||
| You know that expression, like, hurt people hurt people? | ||
| Well, molested people tend to molest people. | ||
| And it's not always. | ||
| It's not always. | ||
| But there's a common bond between... | ||
| People who have been sexually assaulted when they were young who go on to sexually assault other people. | ||
| It's not always, but it's enough so that they're trying to figure out, like, why that is. | ||
| And it's that, like, really common expression. | ||
| Hurt people hurt people. | ||
| People that have been molested or abused. | ||
| Kids, like, a lot of times kids that have been beat up by their parents, they go on to beat up their children or beat up their wife. | ||
| This is, like, it's a natural thing, man. | ||
| It's fucked. | ||
| Yeah, that is fucked up. | ||
| It's fucked. | ||
| It's been happening for so long, though. | ||
| Dude, for fucking thousands of years. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what I'm saying. | |
| Like, yeah. | ||
| We can't stop this? | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| If you go back to listen to, like, if you read the words of people that lived in, like, Socrates' time or Aristotle's time, and if you piece it together after a while, you're like, oh my god, it's a wild world where men had relationships with boys. | ||
| It was totally normal. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And people died of all kinds of fucking diseases. | ||
| Anytime you got anything, you were dead. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you can get Al Capone died from BD. Bro, whatever you got, you're dead. | |
| Or you break your foot, you're dead. | ||
| You're dead. | ||
| You're going to get sepsis in your foot. | ||
| Or we might tie it off at the knee and saw it off and give you a fucking peg leg. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Literally. | ||
| Like, this is what they did. | ||
| They didn't know anything. | ||
| They had no antibiotics. | ||
| For breaking your ankle, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Listen, you break your arm, you might bleed to death. | ||
| Your arm might rot off. | ||
| You might get necrosis. | ||
| You might get diseases. | ||
| You might get infections. | ||
| You might never live any broken bones. | ||
| So people don't make it. | ||
| They don't make it. | ||
| That's crazy to think about. | ||
| People's breaking their bones. | ||
| All that was happening, but they still had to be like, hey, I'm 19. This boy's 6. He's with me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He broke his ankle. | ||
| That part's fucked up, but just think about the injury thing. | ||
| They can fix so many more injuries today. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those guys who can fix people are wizards. | ||
| The idea that we should treat them like regular people, we should give them whatever they need. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you need? | |
| Do you need cocaine? | ||
| Do you need diamonds? | ||
| My brother fixed pussies. | ||
| He's a gynecologist. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, OBGYN. He delivers babies and shit. | ||
| He's one of the top OBGYN niggas in Chicago. | ||
| You know what the N stands for? | ||
| Yeah, I guess OBGYN. I've never heard fixed pussies, but I like what you're saying. | ||
| I like the assuredness. | ||
| He fixed them up. | ||
| I ask him all the time. | ||
| I'd be like, man, you don't get tired of looking at pussy all day? | ||
| He's like, man, sometimes it's ridiculous. | ||
| Listen, don't throw him under the bus. | ||
| Listen. | ||
| People are going to find him. | ||
| The internet is long and wide. | ||
| They already know who he is. | ||
| It's all good. | ||
| Yeah, he puts them on. | ||
| Yeah, I already talk shit. | ||
| I talk shit about my brother all the time. | ||
| He don't give a fuck. | ||
| He love it. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, I should have hit him, called in, like Dr. Drew, like Adam Carolla. | ||
| Yeah, that'd be a dope-ass show for me and my brother. | ||
| You know what I'm the most scared of about us, about people today? | ||
| What? | ||
| Is that we're going to give up all the things that are fun about the chaos of being a person in exchange for safety. | ||
| That one day is going to come an option where we can merge with machines, merge with the internet, and take a chip in your brain, and become a part of the matrix, and give up on all the lust and all the nonsense and all the chaos. | ||
| We won't be here for that. | ||
| But we might be, man. | ||
| We might be like fucking 70 years old looking back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, remember we talked about this on the podcast? | |
| And here we are! | ||
| They're already trying to chip us. | ||
| They're trying to put you a credit card and shit. | ||
| Some guys are with it. | ||
| I saw that Tattoo Nation and everything. | ||
| He was talking about this guy just gets tattooed, but he also gets like, he has like chips or like things he puts in to be identified. | ||
| Well, if you're not doing anything shady... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ships. | |
| If you're not doing anything shady, take the chip. | ||
| My buddy was saying this, actually. | ||
| He was saying, what he thinks in the future is we're going to have robots, right? | ||
| But what's going to happen is these robots, it'll be going to trial instead of the robots, it'll be the people who own the robots. | ||
| And I was like, that just sounds like slavery. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's going to be these robots and slaves because we own them, right? | ||
| And they're doing all the work for us, right? | ||
| And this guy's under my name. | ||
| And then eventually they're going to get smart enough and then, you know, have a slave rebellion and kill all of them. | ||
| I think it's going to get way crazier than that. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| Crazier than that? | ||
| Yeah, they're going to pull a switch at some point in time and they're going to allow artificial intelligence to act on its own accord. | ||
| That's terrible. | ||
| They're going to allow artificial intelligence to... | ||
| They're going to trick us. | ||
| It's like a wonderful woman who's seductive tricks you into pulling your dick out and strokes it on the outside of its pants. | ||
| They're going to trick us. | ||
| They're going to trick us into letting them take over and become sentient. | ||
| Someone's going to come along. | ||
| It's going to be like, if there's a competition, they're making money, but there's other people that are making money also. | ||
| They try to figure out who gets to the finish line of creating a legitimate... | ||
| Artificial organism that can think for itself. | ||
| And once they do, that thing's gonna think for itself and it's gonna make a better version of itself. | ||
| It's like, oh, these dummies, they don't even know how to wire things right. | ||
| Let me show you how to do it right. | ||
| And then they make a better version of themselves and then that thing makes a better version of itself. | ||
| And they can do this. | ||
| Generations after that. | ||
| They've studied this and they've done these scientific analysis of how technology progresses over time when some immensely epic Iconic moment happens. | ||
| And they think that it's legitimately possible that thousands of years of evolution and technology could take place over a short period of time. | ||
| Because they would just keep making better and better robots. | ||
| So we would just go into some insane impossible for our Primate brains. | ||
| We're all human beings. | ||
| We're all biological animals and our brains are capable of like giving birth to this thing that's gonna be infinitely more intelligent than we could ever be. | ||
| And that thing's gonna be the new thing. | ||
| Just like we are not running from jaguars into fucking trees anymore. | ||
| Exactly, yeah. | ||
| That thing's gonna be the next thing. | ||
| Damn, that's some iRobot shit. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| We ain't gonna be here for it, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is. | |
| It is. | ||
| You say that, but we might be. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| Think about 20 years ago when there was no phones. | ||
| Damn, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I mean, 10 years ago, shit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, 10 years ago. | ||
| Well, the iPhone was 2009? | ||
| Yeah, when did that come out? | ||
| 2009? | ||
| No, seven, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Seven? | |
| Hell nah. | ||
| Okay, 2007. So 2007, so the iPhone has been around for 14 years, right? | ||
| Which is crazy. | ||
| Before then, think about the world with no smartphones. | ||
| It's a different world. | ||
| You can't answer questions. | ||
| You don't know where to go if you don't have a map. | ||
| No. | ||
| There's so many different things. | ||
| I used to find my holes. | ||
| I used to print the motherfucking MapQuest on the internet. | ||
| I'm like, I'll print that shit out. | ||
| I'm coming to you, bitch! | ||
| I'm coming. | ||
| I got that shit printed out on paper. | ||
| My mama be like, don't be printing all my paper, nigga. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Fuck you printing out, nigga. | ||
| You ain't going to school. | ||
| Printing out map directions to go see a bitch. | ||
| They've got the whole map. | ||
| I got the... | ||
| You should have a YouTube show with just you and your mom. | ||
| She breaks things down. | ||
| My mom the shit, man. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| I'm telling you, man. | ||
| That is hilarious. | ||
| She grew up on goddamn 17th Avenue in Gary, Indiana, man. | ||
| So you know she got a mean streak in her. | ||
| Imagine being a person trying to meet a woman in 1920. And he's out there chopping wood, going like this. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| There's nothing chopping wood. | ||
| Trying to stay alive. | ||
| You got no time to venture forth into the forest. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Radio was just coming into play. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Big oil was coming into play. | ||
| They didn't have like dating apps. | ||
| No. | ||
| Like radio apps. | ||
| But the flappers came in. | ||
| So women were a little more promiscuous in the 20s. | ||
| They were? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They became more promiscuous in the 20s. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| For the speakeasies. | ||
| But you know why that happened? | ||
| Because it was post the Spanish flu. | ||
| So the Spanish flu was in 1918. Oh, shit. | ||
| Well, post-corona. | ||
| They're saying the same thing. | ||
| They're predicting the same thing. | ||
| Yes, exactly. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Because it's just like Catholic school girls. | ||
| You get them suppressed, you box them into a corner, and they burst out like wild cats. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| And that's what's going to happen. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| The roaring 20s in the 2020s are going to be the same as the roaring 20s from the 1920s. | ||
| Because it's a real similar timeline. | ||
| Look, COVID-19, 2018, Spanish flow, it's literally 101 years. | ||
| It's almost dead on the money. | ||
| Same thing. | ||
| It's kind of crazy. | ||
| It is, yeah. | ||
| It feels like that, yeah. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
| Is there going to be a depression in the 30s, though? | ||
| There's a depression right now, for sure. | ||
| Well, that depression was different. | ||
| That was like some stock market malarkey, which definitely could happen at any time. | ||
| I mean, that's why, like, all these people who think you need no regulation, like... | ||
| You can't let those fucking savages just steer this ship right to the rock for a bag of gold coins. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| They're animals. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| These fucking people are animals. | ||
| Like those Bernie Madoffs of the world. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| All these fucking finance people. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I don't want you to have money. | ||
| There's some great ones with wonderful morals, and there's some fucking savages out there who sell their soul to Robert De Niro. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Goddamn right. | ||
| It's real shit. | ||
| They're real. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're fucking animals, man. | ||
| Yeah, that Bernie Madoff movie, when I watched that, I was like, damn, bro, what the fuck? | ||
| Dude, he got everybody. | ||
| He was getting everybody. | ||
| He was just putting shit here and there. | ||
| I'm like, damn. | ||
| He got everybody. | ||
| I didn't even know that many people would trust you with all that fucking money, man. | ||
| He got smart people like Steven Spielberg. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He got Spielberg, bro. | |
| I mean, fuck, you see NXIVM is the same thing, that cult. | ||
| Well, that's a little different. | ||
| They're branding chicks and fucking them. | ||
| That's a totally different thing. | ||
| I'm saying, but he got smart people to believe in it. | ||
| You get that What the Bleep guy to believe in it. | ||
| Which guy? | ||
| Which What the Bleep guy? | ||
| The guy who did the first series, What the Bleep? | ||
| The guy who directed it? | ||
| What the Bleep do we know? | ||
| What the Bleep do we know? | ||
| The thing about that What the Bleep do we know is a lot of it is based on scientific ignorance. | ||
| It's a lack of understanding of what quantum physics are really all about, what the observer effect is really all about. | ||
| Also, the lady who's talking through that, Ramtha, you know that Ramtha? | ||
| Do you know that's not really her name? | ||
| She's actually channeling a 1,000-year-old alien when she's Ramtha. | ||
| Oh yeah, it makes a difference, doesn't it? | ||
| Yeah, it does. | ||
| Yeah, that's what the fucking show is about. | ||
| Like, when you talk to real quantum physicists... | ||
| was gonna join a cult anyway if you talk to someone like sean carroll or like someone like neil degrasse tyson that really understand astronomy or astrophysics or time travel or any these weird things that they're trying to break down this movie yeah and they're like no no no no no no no no everybody says that They show the observer effect that happens on particles, and you're observing them in a wave. | ||
| Right. | ||
| No, it's changing because you're observing them. | ||
| You're using these things to observe them. | ||
| It changes what happens to the particles. | ||
| Yeah, it's confusing, but you're making it out like it's magic. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You fucks. | ||
| There's shit that is magic, though. | ||
| The only motherfucker I trust on TV talking about science is Bill Nye the Science Guy. | ||
| He's got a sweet tie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bill Nye's great. | ||
| Bill Nye's the shit. | ||
| There's a new girl, too. | ||
| A space gal. | ||
| Fuck her. | ||
| Bill Nye? | ||
| Well, we need a bunch of them. | ||
| We need a bunch of them. | ||
| Bill Nye the science guy? | ||
| We need people that make it entertaining to learn about important shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
True. | |
| Bill Nye was him. | ||
| He was that guy that made it entertaining. | ||
| Yeah, he made it easy for us. | ||
| He was like Mr. Rogers for science. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I love Bill Nye the science guy. | ||
| That made me read my science books. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, Bill Nye talking that shit. | ||
| Man, get out of here. | ||
| You know what we really need right now? | ||
| We need a new Bob Ross. | ||
| Word. | ||
| We do need a new Bob Ross. | ||
| He's actually made a huge comeback over the last two years. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I hope so. | |
| Let's help him out right now. | ||
| That guy was calming. | ||
| He was so calming. | ||
| He's like every, someone's running his, uh, all of his, you know, the company, if you will, his name. | ||
| He's on Twitch, like a livestream every other day or something. | ||
| Oh, so he's constantly painting? | ||
| All of his old videos. | ||
| He's dead. | ||
| He's passed. | ||
| Oh, he's dead? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, I didn't know he was dead. | ||
| A few years ago, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You cannot get one of those paintings, apparently. | ||
| They're impossible to get? | ||
| They're locked up. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| So he won't sell them or anything? | ||
| No, I mean, they won't. | ||
| They won't? | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh, the estate. | ||
| The Ross estate. | ||
| That's the word I was looking for. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Have you got an original Bob Ross in your house? | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Imagine if that becomes like when the state dies and some great-grandchild fucking sells out. | ||
| It becomes like Basquiat. | ||
| He's going to be like, man, you know what? | ||
| Fuck this page. | ||
| He's going to be like, man, how many motherfuckers he got down that a nigga painted every day for 50 years, nigga? | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| It would be funny if he was a Ross crackhead grandson. | ||
| I'll sell some of the motherfuckers. | ||
| I ain't going to lie. | ||
| I would. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Almost every Bob Ross painting in existence lives in a Virginia office park. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| When he would paint one, he'd paint three copies. | ||
| One for him, and then he would give one to this lady that funded him when he started. | ||
| Is that his painting right there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Time out. | |
| How the fuck you paint three copies of that? | ||
| Dude, make that bigger. | ||
| Can you make that bigger? | ||
| You do one for TV and then make the extra copy for her. | ||
| How do you make... | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| How do you copy that? | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| That's crazy, bro. | ||
| I think the third one's probably the best. | ||
| When you see something like that, it represents... | ||
| You don't just say, oh, that looks realistic. | ||
| You go, how good did that guy have to be at painting to make that? | ||
| Right? | ||
| Was he on PBS? There she is. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| His longtime business partner Annette Kawasaki. | ||
| Ross himself was a Florida man. | ||
| He was born in Daytona Beach, 1942. Grew up in Orlando. | ||
| When Ross turned 18, he enlisted in the United States Air Force. | ||
| Okay, it's about him before. | ||
| But, I mean, he's probably like the most famous modern painter, right? | ||
| Who's more famous? | ||
| But he's more famous than Banksy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's painting. | ||
| Banksy's doing stencils. | ||
| It's close. | ||
| Jamie, do you agree with that? | ||
| Banksy more famous than Bob Ross? | ||
| It's just a cult thing. | ||
| It's close. | ||
| Worldwide notoriety. | ||
| More people in Europe might know who Banksy is, but they might not know Bob Ross. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| You go over there and they got fucking weird cigarette warnings. | ||
| You ever seen those? | ||
| They show photos of people dying. | ||
| Dying in the lungs, black and shit. | ||
| On the cigarette packs? | ||
| On the pack. | ||
| Like, you might buy some marble rolls and you won't see marble roll on it at all. | ||
| It'd just be a pair of black lungs or some shit like that. | ||
| And there's no pushback. | ||
| People are like, okay. | ||
| And then people keep smoking. | ||
| They smoke more than ever over there! | ||
| Bro, I bought a pack of Backwoods in Australia. | ||
| That shit hit a dead baby on the motherfucker. | ||
| I was like, damn, what the fuck? | ||
| Smoking can fuck you up if you're pregnant. | ||
| I'm like, damn. | ||
| Thank God I ain't pregnant, bitch. | ||
| Because I want these bloods. | ||
| Yeah, on Backwoods. | ||
| They'll show you photos of cancer-ridden organs. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| No bullshit. | ||
| I was over there for the UFC the first time I ever went over there. | ||
| And I was talking to this dude at the bar and he had this pack of cigarettes. | ||
| I go, can I see your cigarettes? | ||
| He shows me. | ||
| I go, what the fuck is that? | ||
| He goes, oh yeah, mate. | ||
| They fucking make us look at this, mate. | ||
| And he's like, show me these pictures. | ||
| Like lungs and throat cancer. | ||
| They put it on the package. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Yeah, look at that. | ||
| Look at these images. | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| What the fuck is a fucked up foot? | ||
| It kills your foot, bro. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| Peripheral vascular disease. | ||
| I don't want that. | ||
| Peripheral vascular disease. | ||
| Oh my god, you see bones rotting out of that person's foot. | ||
| They just found the worst picture. | ||
| Kids, god damn. | ||
| Like some garbage pill kid shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, they don't care over there in England. | ||
| You can show them those pictures and they smoke more. | ||
| Shit, in Russia they got the, you know, they got them dope booths where they can go in like a phone booth and go do drugs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, you can do that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| See? | ||
| Don't they do that in Amsterdam, too? | ||
| They have something along those lines where they provide people with needles and make it easier. | ||
| Prostitution is illegal, too. | ||
| I promise, man, that's the worst fucking sex experience I've had in my life, going to Amsterdam, buying some pussy out one of them windows. | ||
| Why was the experience so bad? | ||
| I just wanted to go because I wanted to check it out because everybody talk about red light district all that shit so I was like alright I'm about some pussy today but I'm gonna fuck around and do it so you know I had my little hundred euros so then I walked all night through the shit looked at all the holes and I was like oh yeah this shit this is okay cool so I'm just gonna pick some pussy I saw this badass white bitch Wait | ||
| a minute, did you say from a bike? | ||
| From the back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, the back. | |
| Yeah, the bike. | ||
| I was like, a bike? | ||
| That's a lot to ask for. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| She didn't want to fuck. | ||
| She didn't want to do it doggy style. | ||
| All that, man. | ||
| It was just all fucked up, man. | ||
| I didn't really want to. | ||
| It was a bad sexual experience. | ||
| I feel like I did not get my fucking money's worth. | ||
| 100 euros, though. | ||
| Yeah, about 100 euros. | ||
| Imagine, what would you do for 100 euros? | ||
| Not much. | ||
| Not a goddamn thing. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| But, bitch, you do this all day. | ||
| You gotta have all you and my customers. | ||
| But, she's got, I mean, it sounds like she's got a structure. | ||
| She's like, yeah, for 100 euros, I'll do this and nothing else. | ||
| I'm straight. | ||
| She wanted to suck my dick with the condom on. | ||
| I'm good on that. | ||
| Not for 100 euros. | ||
| Nah, fuck that. | ||
| I would've gave the bitch another 100 euros. | ||
| For something else, but she was like, nah. | ||
| I ain't even want that shit. | ||
| Head with a condom on. | ||
| Just don't give me no head. | ||
| I'm straight. | ||
| Instagram is right now reviewing its decision and going, I think we fucked up. | ||
| I think we jumped the gun. | ||
| Let him back on. | ||
| They need to let me back on. | ||
| You gotta let the cocaine burn it back on. | ||
| I wanna see all the crazy shit that gets sent to him when he puts up online. | ||
| Man, it's just, I mean, classic shit. | ||
| That's the thing about, like, internet connections. | ||
| If you know someone who finds fucked up shit, like, that's a valuable dude. | ||
| Like a dude who will send you some crazy car accident shit or some lion attack shit. | ||
| Bro, I'm about to send you some shit. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I'm sure you are. | ||
| I'm sure you are. | ||
| But you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Those guys are valuable. | ||
| Like friends. | ||
| Look at this baby standing on his pussy. | ||
| Oh, don't do that to me. | ||
| My word. | ||
| That's not even real. | ||
| Poor baby. | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| That's somebody's neck. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| But it looks like, yeah, that baby did. | ||
| It looks like a problem. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| It looks like a problem. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| It looks like I might have to make a phone call. | ||
| Which one's this? | ||
| This fucking real life GTA shit. | ||
| Oh, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Oh, don't. | ||
| Listen. | ||
| Random over. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| This is the stuff we were getting, I'm saying. | ||
| You were telling me about his Instagram. | ||
| It's crazy, yeah. | ||
| Now, you just put those up with reckless abandon? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is what he was doing. | ||
| Don't you think they should have a Wild West Instagram where you can just do whatever you want? | ||
| Man, he'd be the king. | ||
| What was that site called back in the day? | ||
| We could show that shit. | ||
| Was it Rotten.com? | ||
| Rotten.com. | ||
| Did that make us any worse as human beings? | ||
| I'm about to make my own app with all that bullshit on it. | ||
| Yeah, you were saying that. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| Frister. | ||
| Fredster drops. | ||
| I'm telling you, man. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Fredster's about to drop. | ||
| It's going to be the best app, man. | ||
| Out there, man. | ||
| Guaranteed, man. | ||
| We're working on it right now. | ||
| Shout out to Lambo. | ||
| We're working on Fredster right now, man. | ||
| So Fredster's going to have all the bullshit. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Everything. | ||
| Oh, my goodness. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Everything except that booty hole inside out flip-flop shit. | ||
| We're not doing that. | ||
| You ain't doing that one? | ||
| Nah, we ain't going to post that. | ||
| But, you know. | ||
| But Crackhead's eating ass. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Crackhead's eating ass. | ||
| The one Crackhead video with the nigga. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Smoking a crack and blowing it in the other crackhead ass. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| I've never seen that in my life. | ||
| I'm like, I've seen this on Instagram? | ||
| My friend John Joseph, he's the lead singer of the Cro-Mags. | ||
| He lives in New York City. | ||
| He's this ultra-marathon triathlon dude, does Ironmans and shit. | ||
| Lives in New York City and he'll send me some shit that he finds. | ||
| Either he sees it or someone else sees it in the subways. | ||
| Just dudes butt-fucking in the middle of the stairway. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| Just pants down, just banging each other out in the middle of everybody. | ||
| This is wild. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You seen that video of that dude eating a dick ass in the subway? | |
| Yeah, I saw that. | ||
| In the subway? | ||
| In the subway. | ||
| He was just sitting there posted up with his ass out. | ||
| There's a thing that happens. | ||
| There's a thing that happens when people don't think they're ever going to get arrested. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| They just get so crazy. | ||
| I was at the WeHo library playing basketball. | ||
| And there's a parking structure next to the library. | ||
| And I think it was the second floor. | ||
| Yeah, I was going down and just like having a basketball. | ||
| I was going around. | ||
| And yeah, this is this dude just like in the corner with a homeless dude. | ||
| And he was just doing his thing. | ||
| And I was just like... | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Blowing him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean like crazy blowing him too. | ||
| I was like, bro, kids are here. | ||
| This old ass man eating ass. | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| Look at that, gentlemen. | ||
| Wonderful time he's having. | ||
| Wonderful fucking time. | ||
| Who took this video? | ||
| Someone who loves him dearly. | ||
| It's a family member. | ||
| Gentlemen, it's 5.30 already. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| It is shit. | ||
| We really did this. | ||
| Yeah, we did the shit out of this. | ||
| How long has this been going on? | ||
| Four hours and 15 minutes. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's the marathon, Joe. | ||
| It was fun. | ||
| The marathon continues. | ||
| Rest in peace to Nipsey Hussle, man. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Rest in peace to Nipsey Hussle and Cicely Tyson. | ||
| Sicily Tyson. | ||
| Sicily Tyson. | ||
| Happy White Guild Month. | ||
| Thanks for coming on here, man. | ||
| Appreciate it. | ||
| It was fun talking to you. | ||
| It was good hanging with you. | ||
| This shit is amazing, man. | ||
| Getting blasted. | ||
| I can't believe it, man. | ||
| We got blasted. | ||
| We talked about a bunch of crazy nonsense. | ||
| I want to disavow everything I said up until this moment. | ||
| We talked about R. Kelly. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| We might have to edit that out. | ||
| I don't mean anything good about that. | ||
| Or anything else that's bad. | ||
| Brian Moses, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Freddie Gibbs, thank you so much. | ||
| Appreciate it. | ||
| No bill. |
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