Feb. 20, 2021 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:46:22
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
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Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! | |
| The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
| Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day! | ||
| Wouldn't it be cool to have one in Aerosmith right now? | ||
| I'm back! | ||
| Yeah, I'm great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm back in the saddle again. | |
| Great. | ||
| There's no apocalypse to him, Dylan. | ||
| Hey, hold it up. | ||
| Did I move you out here at a bad time, do you think? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, we considered suing you. | |
| I was sitting there going, can I take legal action against him? | ||
| Like, I called a lawyer and apparently I cannot. | ||
| Listen, I'll give you free meals every time we go out forever. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| I mean, I was on a bread line two days ago. | ||
| My opener flies into town. | ||
| We're going to fly out for shows. | ||
| All the flight's grounded. | ||
| We can't go anywhere. | ||
| I mean, we're waiting outside of a supermarket for an hour, and then we're eating fish sticks in the dark of my house with no power. | ||
| And I'm like, you know, Joe fucking Rogan, man, this was a real fucking leap of faith, but it's looking better today. | ||
| It'll be fine. | ||
| It'll be fine. | ||
| Listen, it was a once in, they're calling it a once in 120 year storm. | ||
| But I think what that means is like ever recorded. | ||
| Like, you go back to 1800s, what we're talking about. | ||
| Or 1900, rather. | ||
| Like, what kind of fucking instruments were they using? | ||
| Yeah, what were they jotting down? | ||
| Thomas Almanac was the big thing back in those days. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How did that work? | ||
| Because that fucking thing was apparently kind of accurate. | ||
| It's kind of witchcraft-y. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, they would predict, like, next year's winter cycles. | ||
| Yeah, and harvests and things like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What did they do? | ||
| How did it work? | ||
| Well, it was just wild driving around Texas and seeing nothing but snow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it looked like Vermont. | ||
| It looked like you were in the Northeast, but it didn't. | ||
| It was wild to be in Texas driving around, and nothing was open. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So gas stations weren't open. | ||
| Fast food wasn't open. | ||
| Nothing was open. | ||
| No. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Tell you what was open. | ||
| The Houston airport, and my boy Ted Cruz was like, yikes! | ||
| Yeah, he was out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yikes! | |
| And by the way, isn't it sad that he couldn't get away with it? | ||
| It's like, here's the thing about the Bush family. | ||
| Say what you want about them, maybe whack to Kennedy, bygones. | ||
| But, I mean, now our leaders can't even get caught taking a commercial flight to Cancun. | ||
| Like, that's pretty sad. | ||
| But here's the thing, like, what can he do? | ||
| What is the reason for him staying? | ||
| Well, I think it's just the optics of how it looks. | ||
| Yeah, but of course. | ||
| No, he doesn't have any of... | ||
| Can he make it warm out? | ||
| No, I don't think he has any power to do anything good. | ||
| Maybe he should be there with blankets? | ||
| Yeah, well, it's funny. | ||
| It's like the people that hate him the most are the ones that are like, he should be there. | ||
| And it's like, doing what? | ||
| Well, here's the thing, though. | ||
| He was one of the vocal critics of Mayor Adler, who's a Democrat, who went to Cancun as well. | ||
| Everybody goes to Cancun? | ||
| I think he was in Cancun. | ||
| Was he in Cancun or was he in one of those? | ||
| He made the thing out of the house. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But it was in Cancun or was it Puerto Vallarta? | ||
| It was one of those nice places in Mexico. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he's the mayor of Austin? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| He went down there and he was saying, now is not the time to relax. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cabo. | |
| Cabo. | ||
| Cabo, yeah. | ||
| So he went down there. | ||
| I mean, that's the place to relax. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, fucking Sammy Hagar's got a song about it. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| It's crazy to watch. | ||
| It's also crazy that he got caught and then he came back. | ||
| Well, he said, I was always coming back. | ||
| I was being a good father. | ||
| So you had to put a spin on it. | ||
| Yeah, I was dropping my face. | ||
| I feel because Ted Cruz is the face of the guy that always is caught. | ||
| He looks like the kid at school who gets in on the prank too late and then the teacher catches him. | ||
| He just looks like he gets caught. | ||
| He's not one of those guys who gets away with it. | ||
| No matter what happens, he doesn't get away with it. | ||
| No. | ||
| He's... | ||
| Did you ever see those videos that they made where it was... | ||
| I don't know who released the full video. | ||
| The videos that they made where he was running for president and he sat down with his mom and he was talking about, you know, I go to church every day and she's like, every day? | ||
| Right. | ||
| His mom threw him under the bus. | ||
|
unidentified
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She's like... | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Every day! | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I was like, bitch, you don't go to fucking church every day. | ||
| And it was like they had a retake scenes. | ||
| Oh, the whole thing's a nightmare. | ||
| But they showed it. | ||
| How about somebody from the wife's group text leaked, because they were inviting neighbors going, come to fucking Cabo or wherever the hell, come to Cancun. | ||
| And somebody leaked it to the New York Times going, here's the group text proving they were inviting us all. | ||
| I wonder how many moms were in that group text. | ||
| Too many. | ||
| Yeah, these are the videos. | ||
| Oh, this is great. | ||
| But these things are always gross, man. | ||
| Those like, sit down with your mom. | ||
| Let's pretend the camera's not here. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Tell everyone how good I am. | ||
| I'm a good person, right mom? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I'm a God-fearing Christian. | ||
| Tell everyone what a good person your son is. | ||
| He was very good, though. | ||
| I have to give him props. | ||
| Because there was this one situation where... | ||
| What was it? | ||
| It was a tech thing where he was... | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| We talked about it on the podcast, Jamie. | ||
| Do you remember what it was? | ||
| Where he was calling them out for... | ||
| God, it's escaping me. | ||
| But I was actually kind of impressed. | ||
| De-platforming people or privacy? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It was... | ||
| There's a video of him from the summer. | ||
| He's like, who the hell are... | ||
| Who is he critiquing, though? | ||
| Who is he criticizing? | ||
| Google? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It says, Ted Cruz on Google and Big Tech Censorship. | ||
| Yeah, there was a... | ||
| Who the hell are you to decide who can speak? | ||
| He was catching them in some hypocrisies and some lies, and it was very good, the way he was doing it, and well phrased. | ||
| You gotta give a little if you're gonna shit on the guy. | ||
| That fucking tech stuff drives me crazy. | ||
| And what drives me crazy is the people on the left that think it's not gonna come for them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, they're all moving here. | ||
| All these tech guys are in Austin. | ||
| A lot of them are moving here. | ||
| And there are some of them that are more, I don't know what you would call it, libertarian in their ideology, where they don't want to shut people down and they want people to speak. | ||
| But there's just so much... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It just feels like you're... | ||
| There's a tide coming in and the tide is going to wash away even those people that are standing up and saying, this isn't right. | ||
| We shouldn't do this. | ||
| I just feel like – because people are tired. | ||
| The public doesn't care and I get it. | ||
| The public doesn't care. | ||
| The public is like, you know what? | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| You don't think they care? | ||
| I think some of them do but I think it's one of those things that it doesn't affect that many people. | ||
| And if it doesn't affect that many people, it's hard to necessarily get up in arms over it. | ||
| Like when Gina Carano gets fired, people are like, okay. | ||
| Like it doesn't affect that many people. | ||
| Most people work at jobs where they're not allowed to say anything. | ||
| So they work for corporations. | ||
| They go into an office. | ||
| They can't say anything. | ||
| And they kind of like it when people get in trouble. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They love when people get in trouble, especially when people outside of the system that are making money get in trouble. | ||
| So people aren't really as upset about it, and they don't think it's going to lead to where it's going to lead to. | ||
| That was the whole thing with Alex Jones. | ||
| It's like it's clearly going to lead – it's not going to die with Alex. | ||
| It's going to go other places. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Once you're getting rid of the freedom of the First Amendment, the freedom of speech, which is – Yeah. | ||
| or openly threatening someone or doing something genuinely horrible. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You should be able to speak your opinion because we have to figure out who's right. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You can't say, "You're not right, so you can't talk." Right. | ||
| Because then the people that have the power to hit that switch, which is right now the people that are on the left that are in charge of tech. | ||
| They're going to hit that switch whenever they disagree with people. | ||
| Well, it's weird because they also have billions of dollars. | ||
| If you go on the Clubhouse app and you listen to these people talk, they are – I know you don't, but they are billionaires or worth hundreds of millions of dollars. | ||
| And their concerns are always like you go into the app and somebody is like, we need more indigenous creators. | ||
| We need more indigenous entrepreneurs or women of color entrepreneurs or all these goals that are laudable goals, whatever. | ||
| But – Then a white guy will come into the conversation and go, well, he goes, I don't really, as a white guy, I want to apologize for even speaking. | ||
| No. | ||
| I swear to God. | ||
| Who's done this? | ||
| This is a guy on Clubhouse. | ||
| That's why I'm not on Clubhouse. | ||
| As a white guy, he goes, I want to, but you got to go into my good rooms. | ||
| Like, should women be allowed to own Bitcoin? | ||
| That's a real debate. | ||
| Did you make that room? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The rooms on Clubhouse I make are like, should women be allowed to own Bitcoin? | ||
| I want to be a cancer influencer. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| How do you build a brand in prison? | ||
| Should I buy a Bitcoin or pay for my son's surgery? | ||
| You gotta have fun. | ||
| The one last night was Ted Cruz has a right to do cocaine with his family in Mexico. | ||
| You gotta have fun with it. | ||
| I troll and just have a little bit of fun. | ||
| But on that app, you listen to these tech people and one really big tech woman who's massive said something that was chilling. | ||
| She goes, we gotta put guardrails up online. | ||
| And as soon as she said, we gotta put guardrails up, I felt chilled because I'm like, I know what she means by that. | ||
| And guardrails are just like, here's where offensive speech is, and we're going to put the guardrail there, and then the guardrail's going to move. | ||
| Who said this? | ||
| A very big person who owns a major app that just went public, who's worth $1.5 billion now. | ||
| And I'm sure she's a lovely, talented woman, but her belief was like, hey, we've got to put some guardrails up online. | ||
| But when I heard it, I went... | ||
| This is a very ominous thing to say. | ||
| Right, but hold on. | ||
| When someone says something like that, she's probably talking about this QAnon shit that led to the Capitol Hill riot. | ||
| Perhaps. | ||
| Or she's talking about somebody calling someone fat or somebody saying someone's a moron. | ||
| I don't know, but is it going to be easy to just draw a line around QAnon stuff? | ||
| And then where's the legitimate discussions about human trafficking and political... | ||
| Yeah, it's hard. | ||
| It's real hard. | ||
| Did anybody challenge her? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Were you in that room? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why didn't you say something? | ||
| I did. | ||
| I said, okay. | ||
| I was like, all right. | ||
| I went, okay. | ||
| I mean, she's a billionaire, right? | ||
| So I'm like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
So what? | |
| I'm letting these rooms and I just kind of... | ||
| Every now and then I throw out like a joke every eight minutes and then I just go back to listening. | ||
| What did everyone else say when she said... | ||
| Yas Queen. | ||
| No, they're in. | ||
| Joe, they're all in. | ||
| They're in on guardrails? | ||
| Oh, they want the guardrail. | ||
| They think it's a great idea. | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| Because nobody wants to give you any of their money, so they want to solve the world's problems by making everyone nice. | ||
| Because they're like, listen, I have a billion dollars. | ||
| I don't want to give you any of that, but I'd like everyone to be nicer. | ||
| So that's what tech is. | ||
| It's just a weird cognitive dissonance. | ||
| Bumble CEO. Well, someone found it. | ||
| If you want to behave poorly, you cannot do it here. | ||
| But where is that? | ||
| On Bumble? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But that's her app. | ||
| So that's who said it, by the way. | ||
| But hold on a second. | ||
| This is a female-created dating site. | ||
| I think she has the right on her dating site to say, look, I've created this atmosphere where I want people to be pleasant on this atmosphere. | ||
| Because it's a female-created dating site. | ||
| I don't want guys sending dick pics unless I ask for them. | ||
| You know, that kind of shit. | ||
| Well, that's fine, but does anyone... | ||
| I'm just... | ||
| On her app, it's one thing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But no one who wants power and control goes, I'm good with my part of the yard. | ||
| Most people go, yeah, I want... | ||
| I think these standards should be enforced uniformly. | ||
| That's my experience of hearing a lot of these people talk. | ||
| I think a lot of them are like, yeah, we should... | ||
| Step in and curate a better world and create a better world and they think they're doing the right thing, but there's a huge downside to it, which I don't know if they realize because they just want to get everyone's data, sell it and make money. | ||
| So they don't want anything getting in the way of that. | ||
| Yeah, that's the real problem. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The real problem is the consumers have become the product, and they didn't know they were the product, and now the people that were selling them are making insane amounts of money. | ||
| And one of the interesting things that's going on right now is this fight between Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, and Tim Cook. | ||
| Tim Cook at Apple. | ||
| Tim Cook is like, hey, just selling ads is good enough. | ||
| You shouldn't be selling people's data. | ||
| You shouldn't be infringing on people's privacy. | ||
| And we're going to put a stop to that. | ||
| And so Facebook took out this – was it a full-page ad? | ||
| They did something where they published this piece where Mark Zuckerberg was essentially saying that you are going to punish small businesses, which is the weirdest. | ||
| Let's see what his argument against Tim Cook was. | ||
| Because this was fairly recently. | ||
| Zuckerberg came on Clubhouse for a brief moment. | ||
| What did he say? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Does not compute? | ||
| Yeah, he comes on for like a brief moment, and then he got out. | ||
| But sometimes people are in the audience in those apps, like you'll look, you're like, motherfucker, that guy's... | ||
| Everybody's waiting for Joe Rogan to come on. | ||
| Yeah, that's not happening. | ||
| Every single person on the app's like, when does Joe Rogan go on the app? | ||
| Because I said, what Joe Rogan really wants to do is spend four or five hours a night talking. | ||
| He wants to talk. | ||
| And he wants to listen. | ||
| He wants to listen. | ||
| I want to listen. | ||
| But we want you to come on for a fun night to just blow it up. | ||
| Me, the Weinstein family. | ||
| Oh, listen, those people. | ||
| Who love me. | ||
| Now they hate me. | ||
| They hate me, the Weinsteins. | ||
| No, the Weinsteins love you, but Eric is very sensitive. | ||
| Well, yeah, I made fun of them because I said, all these gurus, what have they ever done? | ||
| I'm like, and Lex Friedman loved it. | ||
| I said, who are these guys? | ||
| Have they invented the rotator? | ||
| What do they do? | ||
| What is a rotator? | ||
| It's the thing that peels and slices the potato. | ||
| I'm like, have they ever had an invention? | ||
| And then they got mad and they were like, well, this is not good. | ||
| But I want to do a video. | ||
| No, no, no, no, more than that. | ||
| He actually went on Twitter and said, Tim Dillon asked, what have I ever done? | ||
| And then he starts listing all the things he's done. | ||
| That's always a mistake. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| That's not a good thing. | ||
| You're arguing with a man who wears a wig sometimes. | ||
| Him or you? | ||
| Both, probably. | ||
| But I was talking about myself. | ||
| But I wanted to do a video where I impersonate him, Brett, and Heather. | ||
| And I might do it. | ||
| You should do it. | ||
| I might do it. | ||
| And we have a Lex Friedman, like a little baby in a suit, as Lex Friedman will put him there. | ||
| Yeah, I like it. | ||
| They're all very smart, but it's just like, listen man, comedy's comedy. | ||
| You gotta have fun. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You've got to have fun. | ||
| Well, you can't get upset if, listen, if you've done all those wonderful things, and then someone comes and makes fun of you, you go, what have you done? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You've got to just let it go. | ||
| I said that you guys left LA because my podcast was bigger than yours, which is provably untrue. | ||
| That's provably not true. | ||
| And I said... | ||
| Imagine if I went on Twitter... | ||
| Tim Dillon said, I left LA because his podcast is bigger than mine. | ||
| That is not true. | ||
| Here are the numbers. | ||
| Tim Dillon is a fraud. | ||
| He lies about things all the time. | ||
| Imagine if I did that. | ||
| I said, Joe's leaving LA because our podcast is bigger than him. | ||
| And people go, but you get like 208,000 views on YouTube. | ||
| I go, you don't understand the message. | ||
| So it's... | ||
| You don't understand. | ||
| There's other things at play. | ||
| But I do shit like that all the time. | ||
| And it's like, sometimes people get angry. | ||
| Well, you have to understand fun. | ||
| And they have to understand comedy. | ||
| Comedy, a big part of what you and I both do... | ||
| We have points. | ||
| You're serious sometimes. | ||
| I'm serious sometimes, too. | ||
| But we talk shit. | ||
| And that's really what it is. | ||
| He said to me, have you read my unified theory of everything? | ||
| I'm like, no. | ||
| And I gotta be honest. | ||
| Not gonna. | ||
| Not gonna do it. | ||
| Why would I do that? | ||
| I just don't... | ||
| Have you... | ||
| Any time someone says that... | ||
| I haven't done it. | ||
| That's an issue. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Someone said, as a, like, a put you in your place, have you read my unified theory of everything? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| If I did, I would talk to you about it. | ||
| Yeah, I'm like, I don't have any... | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| I mean, I'm just... | ||
| I bet it's really interesting. | ||
| I do care. | ||
| I'm glad that it's... | ||
| You've unified everything. | ||
| Good, good. | ||
| Well, he's a fucking brilliant guy. | ||
| He's a very smart guy. | ||
| I've talked to him on the podcast before. | ||
| A ton. | ||
| Very intelligent. | ||
| Left me... | ||
| You know, like if you go running with David Goggins or something like that? | ||
| Well, no, but I'll take your word for it. | ||
| You're like, I'm just going to sit on the side of the road here and just let you run. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, he does it. | ||
| They just run away from you. | ||
| They're way, you know... | ||
| They're way ahead of you. | ||
| It is what it is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'd love to be invited to the Weinstein Thanksgiving next year. | ||
| Listen... | ||
| Brett and Eric are wonderful people, and I love Heather as well. | ||
| They're great. | ||
| I'm sure they are. | ||
| I'm giant fans of them. | ||
| I'm sure they are. | ||
| They really are. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| I don't know them. | ||
| We were at the Comedy Store, and Andrew Schultz was fucking with Eric. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| You could see Eric was like... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They had had some sort of interaction online. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I forget what it was, but it was playful. | ||
| And Schultz starts fucking with him at the store. | ||
| The whole thing about comedy is you're taking shots. | ||
| You're having fun. | ||
| It's not meant to be taken seriously. | ||
| They're in the world, though. | ||
| But he's 50 years old, and they're dabbling in this world now. | ||
| But it's also like they're on YouTube. | ||
| So you might be a fucking genius, but you're next to me and Logan Paul on YouTube. | ||
| So I'm going to say something about something and whatever. | ||
| If you're a genius, it shouldn't bother you. | ||
| I would agree with you, but I just had a conversation with a brilliant friend of mine, literally one of the smartest people I know, and he has a podcast, and he's a... | ||
| I don't want to say what he does, because I didn't ask him if I could talk about this, but he said, I need to talk to you about how to handle... | ||
| Criticism and how to handle this stuff on social media. | ||
| Because I engage too much or I think about it too much or I'm reading it too much and then it fucks with me. | ||
| And we have this conversation. | ||
| I mean, this guy is a fucking genius. | ||
| And not just a genius, like a physical specimen, too. | ||
| He's an amazing person. | ||
| And yet... | ||
| He gets to you. | ||
| And he's not even controversial. | ||
| The stuff he talks about is not controversial. | ||
| But it's just dealing with other... | ||
| Whether it's peers or people that are jealous or just straight-up assholes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, comics are in this weird position because we have to look at things and observe things and make fun of things. | ||
| We've got to make fun of people we disagree with, make fun of people we agree with. | ||
| We've got to make fun of the whole landscape. | ||
| And yourself. | ||
| And myself, which I do all the time. | ||
| And it's the whole landscape of what's out there right now. | ||
| And it's not just, you know, I don't pick a side or I don't go, I may agree with a side, but But I agree with a lot of what those guys say, but it's like, if something happens to be funny, I say it. | ||
| Right, if you agree with them, and then you shit on the point that you agree with, because there's gold there. | ||
| That's what you gotta do. | ||
| That's what we do. | ||
| That's what you gotta do. | ||
| You have to do that sometimes. | ||
| It doesn't mean you don't think they're brilliant. | ||
| Thank God we have radically different jobs. | ||
| Thank God my job is not to advance scientific theories. | ||
| Imagine if you were working for Peter Thiel and you were in charge of all of his money. | ||
| It would be a very interesting... | ||
| Teal Capital would have a very interesting three months before it was over. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Three? | |
| Be over. | ||
| It would be the end. | ||
| But we'd go bankrupt a few things. | ||
| We'd go after... | ||
| He already did Gawker. | ||
| We'd go after a few more. | ||
| Go after a few people I don't like. | ||
| I think it's a great idea. | ||
| Text me, Peter. | ||
| Call me. | ||
| But a lot of these tech guys are in Austin. | ||
| They're very interesting. | ||
| Well, they're moving here because this is a very tech-friendly area. | ||
| It's a weird place because it's a blue spot in a red state. | ||
| And it's also a very artistic area. | ||
| It's also very nice. | ||
| One of the reasons why I moved here is that it's a lower population than LA and people are just genuinely friendlier. | ||
| They're friendlier. | ||
| I've always loved it here. | ||
| I've been coming here since, I think I did my first gig here in 99. I walked into it, get my hair done, and a woman was like, are you from California? | ||
| Are you bringing your liberal politics here? | ||
| I'm like, do I look like I'm bringing liberal politics? | ||
| I look like Rush Limbaugh. | ||
| Like, do I look like I'm bringing my liberal politics here? | ||
| Did you see your license plate? | ||
| Is that what it was? | ||
| I think so, yeah. | ||
| And she's like, where are you? | ||
| Because I have a New York voice. | ||
| So they're like, oh, you're not from here. | ||
| And I'm like, yeah, I'm not bringing my liberal politics. | ||
| I'm bringing, like, no politics. | ||
| I guarantee whenever the elections are, I will miss them. | ||
| I won't know when they are, and someone will call me in a week and go, did you vote? | ||
| And I'll go, what? | ||
| So that's whatever ally you want here, you don't get. | ||
| Well, I have a friend of mine who is out here. | ||
| He's an older gentleman who I've become friends with since I moved here. | ||
| And he's a gun enthusiast and kind of an interesting character, but a very smart guy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And he just goes... | ||
| We're being invaded. | ||
| Yeah, well, he's right. | ||
| He's right a little bit. | ||
| I go, by people like me, you mean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, I'm part of the invasion. | ||
| He goes, no, you're a good guy. | ||
| But it's also like, isn't Austin pretty damn liberal? | ||
| Like, I drive through Austin, it's like women with like... | ||
| I'm saying women, but I don't know. | ||
| But entities with purple dreadlocks. | ||
| It's like Antifa runs all states. | ||
| It's like, I'm bringing liberal values? | ||
| I mean, it's like crazy. | ||
| They're worried about the voting. | ||
| Because they already hate the mayor. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| They already hate the mayor. | ||
| They hate the homeless situation. | ||
| They love the governor. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They're trying to figure it out. | ||
| The governor's a good dude. | ||
| I watched the governor do the press con. | ||
| He did like a good job. | ||
| He's a great guy. | ||
| But you do miss Trump a little bit, because you do miss how Trump would have handled it. | ||
| Well, then you just go to Andrew Cuomo. | ||
| Greg Abbott was very respectful. | ||
| Well, he's a criminal. | ||
| He's a Democratic Trump. | ||
| He's a criminal, yeah, who's not funny, and should be in jail. | ||
| How about that, huh? | ||
| I mean, he's calling and threatening people, telling them not to... | ||
| Journalists. | ||
| Yeah, calling and threatening people. | ||
| He's calling other people, going, hey, man... | ||
| Politicians. | ||
| You know, we act a certain way. | ||
| I don't know what the quote is. | ||
| Jamie will find it. | ||
| But he said something to the guy, like mafia shit. | ||
| Yeah, well, Crystal and Sager covered it today on their show, and there's a clip on their Instagram page showing the guy, and he's explaining what Cuomo said to him. | ||
| But he basically said, I will destroy you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's lovely. | ||
| Isn't that nice? | ||
| Yeah, they said it accurately. | ||
| This is cartoonish. | ||
| Yeah, it's cartoon. | ||
| And they all get caught. | ||
| There's the thing with Ted Cruz on a plane or this guy doing it. | ||
| It's no longer like the 60s when they could just, with impunity, do whatever they wanted. | ||
| Well, he's a 70-year-old guy. | ||
| He's probably been doing this his whole life. | ||
| Of course he has. | ||
| But you get caught now, and then they look terrible when they get caught. | ||
| Well, that's the least of it. | ||
| He looks terrible. | ||
| The reason why he doesn't want them to say things is because they lied about the COVID numbers in nursing homes. | ||
| The COVID deaths in nursing homes, which are directly attributable to his policies, killed... | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Literally, they lied about 50%. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| They lied at a 50% rate. | ||
| So... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Whatever the fuck the number was, it was 50% off the real number. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Which is thousands of deaths. | ||
| It was a brush fire. | ||
| Thousands, thousands of people that died. | ||
| Just think of a pile. | ||
| Think of like a show that you and I would do at a nice theater. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, sure. | |
| And think of those people just stacked up dead because of the decision of a politician. | ||
| Can they get—is it a—because I know that they're trying to recall Newsom. | ||
| They're trying to recall him, too. | ||
| They're trying to recall him, too, yeah. | ||
| They're gathering the momentum to try to recall him right now. | ||
| But on top of that, there's also—I don't know if this is true, but I was reading about a potential FBI investigation. | ||
| There's a criminal investigation. | ||
| Well, there should be, yeah. | ||
| Well, one of his aides leaked the fact that they were worried that these numbers were going to get out and that it was going to help the Trump administration. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is all... | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| It's all crazy, but also I'm a moron. | ||
| I don't really know what the fuck I'm talking about. | ||
| Let's just be really clear. | ||
| I'm listening to people like Crystal and Sagar from The Hill, from Rising. | ||
| I actually know what they're talking about, and I'm reiterating what they're saying. | ||
| Just say to that. | ||
| Well, I know what I'm talking about, and Cuomo should go to jail. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| U.S. Attorney, FBI investigating Cuomo's handling of nursing home details. | ||
| Okay, now this is on NBC. Whenever something gets on NBC, you know they're fucked. | ||
| Because this is a Democrat. | ||
| When they're covering this on NBC, they're throwing him under the bus. | ||
| Not only that, they've also barred his brother from ever interviewing him on CNN. Well, yeah. | ||
| I mean, that's a dog and pony show, the idea that he could even interview his own brother and toss him softball questions. | ||
| But Jake Tapper wants to interview him. | ||
| I believe it's Jake Tapper, who's a credible journalist. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they're like, uh-uh. | ||
| He doesn't want to talk to Jake Tapper. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Because Jake Tapper is going to hold his feet to the fire, or whoever it is. | ||
| Remember in the beginning Cuomo was the star? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like Chelsea Handler's like, I want to fuck Cuomo like they were old. | ||
| He was the star. | ||
| She said that. | ||
| Imagine being him. | ||
| What a threat. | ||
| That's your reward. | ||
| That's a threat. | ||
| How would she do it, too? | ||
| She'd be on top. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And she'd punch him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| As soon as she came, she'd punch him right in the nose. | ||
| He was the star. | ||
| Everybody loved him in the beginning, and they were like, he's handling it brilliantly. | ||
| I thought so. | ||
| I thought so. | ||
| This is what I thought. | ||
| I thought he's calm, and he looks like a leader. | ||
| I mean, this is like, you know, you see a man who was handling things in a very calm manner, but as time went on, he started to crack. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you see this with people that respond to pressure and criticism. | ||
| It changes their character. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| This is what I was talking about with my friend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| This brilliant guy who's dealing with social media pressure. | ||
| You take in too much criticism and it starts to change your perspective, which starts to change your behavior, which becomes ultimately very detrimental. | ||
| And you see it with Cuomo when he started saying, one of the things that he said about lockdowns, he was like, you know, if you didn't want to gain weight, you shouldn't have ate the cheesecake. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You didn't listen. | ||
| You didn't listen. | ||
| You didn't wear your mask. | ||
| You didn't social distance. | ||
| That's not what it is, you fucking idiot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| That's not what it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| What it is, is this virus is very complicated and it's confusing because it was made in a goddamn lab, probably. | ||
| Again, I'm a moron. | ||
| But... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People that I know that are smart think it was made in a lab. | ||
| And they think that what happens is when you enforce lockdowns, you force people inside. | ||
| And you force people to be right on top of each other. | ||
| And they breathe each other's air. | ||
| And that's how people get sick. | ||
| And it's more likely that they're going to get sick that way than if you let them do things and just fucking go out in public and just go around and go places. | ||
| Well, this was also a guy that when New York was descending into a crime-infested hellscape, he said, everybody come back, I'll cook for you. | ||
| I'll cook for you. | ||
| I'll make you sauce. | ||
| There's people in New York right now beating each other with metal bats in the street. | ||
| I saw that video. | ||
| To death. | ||
| And de Blasio has people doing a dance routine at Cuomo's town. | ||
| People will make them sundae sauce. | ||
| It's a little disturbing. | ||
| How about that de Blasio video? | ||
| I sent you that, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's absurd. | ||
| How about... | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's one of the craziest things I've ever seen. | ||
| That was one of the rare times I post on Twitter. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Rare times I post on Twitter. | ||
| I post that and I said, how the fuck is this a real thing? | ||
| How is this a real thing? | ||
| How is this a real thing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's literally a Coen Brothers sketch. | ||
| It's a scene in the Big Lebowski. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's absurdist beyond belief. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Please play that. | ||
| Yeah, he has a dance troupe. | ||
| We're gonna bring back culture. | ||
| We're gonna bring back the arts. | ||
| This is what you say when you've never created a business. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is the kind of shit that you do. | ||
| And they're not even good. | ||
| Play this. | ||
| Play this. | ||
| They're horrible. | ||
| No, but it's not just they're horrible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're going to really bring back the heart and soul of New York City. | |
| We need our arts and culture back, and we need people to see it and feel it, to participate in it, to know that that essence of New York City has not been defeated by the coronavirus, but will come back strong in 2021. That's Whitney Cummings. | ||
| What is his? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That is Whitney. | |
| As you see the city come back to life, culture will lead the way. | ||
| Open culture is another step towards a recovery for our city. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| I can't. | ||
| If I was a businessman who lost their business because they wouldn't allow me to stay open, but they allow Target to be open, they allow these giant businesses... | ||
| Where was the guy with the bat for that? | ||
| And here's the other thing. | ||
| When you tell someone that their business is not essential, do you know how infuriating that must be if you run a goddamn restaurant? | ||
| Well, it's also the essential workers, by the way, started to get attitudes. | ||
| I don't know if you know this, but a lot of the supermarket workers started to get a chip on the shoulder, and I didn't like it. | ||
| They got essential? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, the essential workers, all the supermarket workers were being told, oh, you're essential, you're essential. | ||
| They got a little rude. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| Yeah, just the same way we called nurses heroes. | ||
| Don't do that. | ||
| Don't call anyone a hero. | ||
| They piss on you. | ||
| When you call someone a hero, it does something to their brain. | ||
| I've never found that with firefighters. | ||
| Well, sure, maybe. | ||
| But with nurses, we called them heroes and then they started TikToking with dead bodies. | ||
| Do you remember that? | ||
| I do remember that. | ||
| Yeah, you can't say you're a hero. | ||
| You have to say, hey, thank you. | ||
| You're doing your job. | ||
| Listen, this is hypocritical. | ||
| I don't mind a little gallows humor. | ||
| I don't mind nurses TikToking with dead bodies as long as they take care of my grandma. | ||
| But then don't cry on Facebook. | ||
| I don't mind gallows humor either. | ||
| You can't TikTok with a dead body and then go, It's so big! | ||
| You'll wear your mask! | ||
| We can't handle it! | ||
| Pick a lane! | ||
| Do they do that too? | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Pick a lane. | ||
| I don't remember anybody crying. | ||
| These nurses don't care about people. | ||
| Anyway. | ||
| Why are you saying they do care? | ||
| Some of them do, Joe, but I know a lot of nurses. | ||
| I know a lot of nurses. | ||
| She's a nice lady. | ||
| Say that to that lady who swabs your nose. | ||
| She's lovely, but I know a lot of nurses who are in it to steal Percocet from people. | ||
| I know a lot of heartless nurses. | ||
| We all know a lot of heartless nurses, and let's not pretend we don't. | ||
| That's a fact. | ||
| And then some of them are great. | ||
| But it's just like, listen, if you took what I was thinking about nurses and I was thinking about cops, everybody would, you know, the media would say, oh, that's a great take. | ||
| Well, they would have said it before. | ||
| But, you know, there's a lot of these defund the police states that are now ramping up their budget for police officers, like Minneapolis. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| There's quite a few of these places. | ||
| Because it went to shit. | ||
| It didn't just go to shit. | ||
| It went to Mad Max lanes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It went to some really bad areas. | ||
| Went to bad things. | ||
| It's dangerous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's fire. | |
| I mean, you were talking about how bad New York City is when you were staying there last time. | ||
| Yeah, it was rough. | ||
| What was it like? | ||
| Me and my opener were walking back from... | ||
| He's got a name. | ||
| He's a good guy. | ||
| Yeah, Dan Carney, my opener. | ||
| He's a good guy. | ||
| He's a good guy. | ||
| Me and my slave. | ||
| My slave. | ||
| He was walking. | ||
| We were walking. | ||
| I make him carry all the camera equipment and everything. | ||
| Does he wear a mask? | ||
| No, he just carries all the camera equipment. | ||
| And then I walk five feet ahead of him like a cartoon king down the street, just observing. | ||
| And I said to him, I think we're going to get killed. | ||
| I turned around and looked at him. | ||
| I said, we might get killed because people on the street were looking at us like lunch. | ||
| We were in Times Square. | ||
| It was like, you know, maybe 1130 to 12 at night. | ||
| And people were looking at us like people were sitting in Times Square like, who are you motherfuckers? | ||
| Like, you know what I mean? | ||
| That's why you need Texas gun laws in New York City. | ||
| Well, and it was terrifying. | ||
| So, and people, you know, you're just looking around now and you have a weird feeling that I've never felt in New York. | ||
| As an adult, I felt that when I was a kid in the 90s, I would be like, oh yeah, it's a little sketchy. | ||
| But as an adult, it was like the first time I felt like shit could go down and it wouldn't be good. | ||
| And now you see all these videos of people being hit with bats or, you know, it's rough. | ||
| So, I mean, I just think that it has a, you know, when Giuliani was elected there, there was something that happened right before it. | ||
| And this was a thing that everyone knows about, a rockette. | ||
| Rockette was killed in Central Park. | ||
| It was a knife in her back. | ||
| And it was all over the cover of the papers. | ||
| And people said, and this was the early 90s, and there was about 28, 2900 homicides every year in New York City, which is almost like eight a day. | ||
| It got so bad that that image of the Rockette with a knife in her back in Central Park, people started to go, we need a new direction. | ||
| They elected Giuliani, who's since disgraced himself and become a goon. | ||
| I won't- Don't you think that he just got old and his brain broke? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| I think he should have gotten out of public life, but he did become a goon. | ||
| But they cleaned that city up. | ||
| It wasn't that livable for many, many people. | ||
| It became a lot more livable, a lot safer after Giuliani got in there. | ||
| And that's a fact. | ||
| People might not like that, but that's a fact. | ||
| That's numbers and data. | ||
| One thing that happened. | ||
| The other thing that happened was Times Square became a mall. | ||
| Times Square became a mall. | ||
| A lot of that started to happen under Giuliani, and then it crystallized after 9-11. | ||
| We need a balance. | ||
| We do need a balance. | ||
| Like, you gotta have a little grit, but you want it to be safe. | ||
| No, you need a little balance. | ||
| You want it to be a cool place, and you don't need, like, you know, every Broadway show a fucking Disney movie. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You don't need that. | ||
| You don't need, you know, Cobra Kai the musical or whatever hell is coming after this pandemic's over. | ||
| But imagine being de Blasio and thinking that that video was a good idea. | ||
| Well, he's nuts. | ||
| He's got to be nuts. | ||
| He's nuts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How nuts? | |
| He's a doofy idiot. | ||
| I mean, he's seven foot like five or something. | ||
| He's a big guy and he's just walking around. | ||
| He probably doesn't get blood to all his extremities. | ||
| And I mean, he's walking around and he's just completely devoid of any sense of like what is actually happening, you know? | ||
| And his daughter's at protests going crazy. | ||
| She's just throwing rocks, shooting cops. | ||
| She doesn't give a shit about anything. | ||
| Yeah, she doesn't care. | ||
| Isn't de Blasio not really his name? | ||
| I forget, but it's not his name. | ||
| No, I think it's like a Carlos Mencia type deal. | ||
| Yeah, it's not his name. | ||
| Like, he didn't like his father, so he changed his name. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, he was the insufferable kid in high school with the Che Guevara shirt. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Here he is. | ||
| Jamie will find out. | ||
| His name is Warren Wilhelm Jr. Oh my god, so everything is fake. | ||
| Yeah, so Warren Wilhelm Jr. Everything's fake. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So that's not his name. | ||
| How did he get the name Bill de Blasio? | ||
| Bill de Blasio was born Warren Wilhelm Jr. How is that possible? | ||
| Is an American politician serving since 2014... | ||
| The 109th mayor of New York City, mayor of the Democratic Party, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| He was born in Manhattan, primary raised in Cambridge, Massachusetts. | ||
| Oh, well, you're doomed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Cambridge is like, I love Cambridge because it's crazy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But there's a lot of theybes in Cambridge. | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| There are theybes. | ||
| I thought theybes was like one theybe. | ||
| No, there's many theybes. | ||
| I have a gentleman whose daughter is a theybe. | ||
| She insists on being a baby. | ||
| She insists? | ||
| How old is she? | ||
| I said she. | ||
| I'm misgendering. | ||
| They insist. | ||
| I should probably go to jail. | ||
| How old is they? | ||
| They is... | ||
| There's no need to discuss. | ||
| It's a kid. | ||
| It's under 18. But they refuse to be gendered. | ||
| But there's a trend. | ||
| Parents are raising their children and they're letting them pick their gender. | ||
| In Cambridge. | ||
| Yeah, they just one day will decide. | ||
| And so they grow up like, what am I? Who cares? | ||
| You're like, eat your food. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| Eat your tofu. | ||
| He took his mother's last name when he was getting older instead of the father. | ||
| But what about the first name? | ||
| William. | ||
| Oh, well. | ||
| William Wilhelm. | ||
| Warren Wilhelm. | ||
| His name is Warren Wilhelm? | ||
| Warren is not Bill. | ||
| But he looks like a Warren Wilhelm. | ||
| He doesn't look like a Bill de Blasio. | ||
| He looks like a creepy Warren Wilhelm. | ||
| He would be like, oh, it's Warren again, and everyone would leave. | ||
| He just went from Warren to Bill. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Just decided to change everything. | ||
| Because it's like a name that you'd elect. | ||
| You'd go, I'm Bill. | ||
| I'm like you. | ||
| I'm Bill de Blasio. | ||
| I'm not Warren Wilhelm from Cambridge. | ||
| I'm Bill de Blasio from New York. | ||
| It's a lot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a lot. | ||
| There's so much there. | ||
| You shouldn't be able to do that. | ||
| You should have to disclose it. | ||
| You should have to tell people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's on Wikipedia. | |
| Well, of course. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| He's handsome. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| He's young. | ||
| He's doing that thing that comics do when they suck. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| He has three different legal names. | ||
| Mayoral hopeful Bill de Blasio has had three different legal names court record show. | ||
| Okay, what was the other name? | ||
| Look at his... | ||
| Look right there. | ||
| He's doing that thing like, hey, I'm wacky. | ||
| His elbow is... | ||
| Is it leaning on that... | ||
| Radiator. | ||
| Radiator? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Or is it not? | ||
| It seems like it's floating. | ||
| No, it's leaning. | ||
| I don't know if it is. | ||
| The radiator might have been hot, and they're taking... | ||
| Oh, okay, it's leaning. | ||
| What an odd photo. | ||
| It's terrible! | ||
| What did he do before he was mayor? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Okay, it's a Democratic candidate. | ||
| What's his other names? | ||
| Warren Wilhelm. | ||
| And then Warren de Blasio Wilhelm. | ||
| Oh, okay, so he hyphenated like he's married to another person. | ||
| He sounds like a count. | ||
| Warren de Blasio Wilhelm. | ||
| Gavin Newsom. | ||
| Gavin Newsom's like an effete wine merchant. | ||
| All of these guys are just out of it. | ||
| They're out of it. | ||
| They've reached the point where they can recall him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Now they just have to gather out enough names because some of them are going to be invalid. | ||
| Some of the names they've gathered, apparently, they think they need an extra 500,000 names. | ||
| Just because some of the people aren't. | ||
| It's just that they're not legally registered to vote. | ||
| You have to be registered in California. | ||
| I mean, who knows who the people are. | ||
| So they think they need a buffer of about $500,000. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| They asked me to sign it. | ||
| I'm like, I don't even have a license. | ||
| No, literally. | ||
| Well, I do now. | ||
| But at the time, I was like, I'm not registered to vote here. | ||
| I don't have a license. | ||
| I'm like, I'll sign it. | ||
| And if someone calls me and goes, did you sign that? | ||
| I'll go, yeah, fuck that guy. | ||
| But I don't have any paperwork. | ||
| You need paperwork. | ||
| I have it now. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| There's a bunch of people like you that are on that list, I'm sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Patriots. | ||
| The thing is, California is a heavy Democratic state. | ||
| The odds of a person who's a Republican winning are very slim. | ||
| And New York, too. | ||
| Yes, but it's different. | ||
| New York, there's a possibility. | ||
| There's some precedent. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But the only precedent in California, the most recent, is Arnold Schwarzenegger, who barely counts because he was a star. | ||
| And also, I don't know why they... | ||
| Why did they get rid of Gray Davis? | ||
| Because of the blackouts, the rolling blackouts to Enron, all that stuff. | ||
| They were fucking with the state. | ||
| And it was also, there was corruption involved. | ||
| There was corruption, yeah. | ||
| Where it wasn't necessary to actually black out. | ||
| They were doing it for political gain. | ||
| They were forcing it down to send the cost of energy up. | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That was a great, that Enron documentary, The Smartest Guys in the Room. | ||
| Great documentary. | ||
| It's a great documentary about that whole thing. | ||
| And then Bethany McLean, who wrote the article, How Does Enron Make Its Money?, is a great financial journalist. | ||
| Also, you know, she's in that documentary, and that's a really cool documentary. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| And yeah. | ||
| It's spooky. | ||
| That's spooky. | ||
| And you know what else is really spooky? | ||
| An Inside Job. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| An Inside Job, which shows it's about the financial crisis of 2008, and it shows how these people go from being professors who recommend certain regulations and requirements that are ultimately Terrible for the economy. | ||
| And then they get promoted as, like, once they leave as professors and they've, you know, whatever institution that they're at, then they get these giant jobs that pay millions of dollars. | ||
| It's like this weird little deal that they make. | ||
| It's like this revolving door between, a lot of times, between government, private industry, higher education. | ||
| It's like, yeah, it creates the oligarchy. | ||
| It creates that aristocracy. | ||
| But when the guy who, I don't remember who made that documentary, but he's obviously very well read in finance, and he understands how it all worked. | ||
| And he was questioning these people, and you see them falling apart in the documentary, realizing that they've been trapped, and realizing that somebody understands the gig. | ||
| Somebody understands. | ||
| Somebody knows what's up. | ||
| This is what the hustle is. | ||
| It's so illuminating because they get arrogant and angry at him. | ||
| Well, it's like anything where you participate in it because you think it's a fluff piece. | ||
| Yeah, and also you think that what you're doing is okay because it's what everyone does. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then you're introduced to this other mode of thing. | ||
| Did you see the new article that came out that says they're allowing like tech companies to essentially form countries? | ||
| I mean this is like the craziest article that came out that people are sharing all over Twitter where they're like it's like a lot of them have the power of countries anyway. | ||
| Like you look at Amazon and Google and Facebook. | ||
| They have the money of a country, have a GDP of like a mid-sized country or I did see the title of that article, but I didn't read it because I didn't want to get sick. | ||
| But I mean, you will eventually, they'll just have a Google stand where they just set up an island and they go, we're Google-a-stan and we pay what taxes we want and, you know, fuck you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why not? | |
| As long as they can go with don't be evil. | ||
| Remember when they used to have that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was comforting. | ||
| Don't do evil. | ||
| Don't do evil. | ||
| Don't be evil. | ||
| By the way, as soon as someone wants to do evil, they Google how. | ||
| That's the first thing. | ||
| As soon as somebody wants to, how do I get away with murdering my wife on Google? | ||
| Yeah, see, if you want to do that, use DuckDuckGo. | ||
| It's way better, and they don't save your history. | ||
| What is DuckDuckGo? | ||
| A better search engine? | ||
| That's what I use. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Yeah, if I want to look up anything sketchy. | ||
| So here's the thing about DuckDuckGo, too. | ||
| It'll show you things that Google will hide from you. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| There was a doctor who died immediately after taking the vaccine. | ||
| He was in his 50s, took the vaccine, had an adverse reaction, which, listen, it happens. | ||
| It is a part of medicine. | ||
| It doesn't mean the vaccine's evil. | ||
| It doesn't mean Bill Gates is trying to kill everyone. | ||
| But if you do... | ||
| Search that on Google. | ||
| It's really difficult to find. | ||
| To find, yeah. | ||
| So I put in, doctor, in his 50s, dies, vaccine, could not find it for the life of me. | ||
| I used the exact same sentence, put in, duck, duck, go. | ||
| It was on the first page. | ||
| Yeah, you can get it. | ||
| It was right away. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Because they're not curating your search results. | ||
| Well, they also hid that black West Indian doctor, that African doctor, God's Battle Axe and Weapon of War. | ||
| They got rid of her. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's that one? | |
| God's Battle Axe and Weapon of War. | ||
| Is that what she calls herself? | ||
| Yeah, on her Twitter profile and they got rid of her. | ||
| And I was like, I wanted to listen to her. | ||
| Wait a minute, wait a minute. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| She calls herself God's Battle Axe and Weapon of War? | ||
| Oh yeah, on her Twitter. | ||
| And they got rid of her on Google. | ||
| You couldn't find her. | ||
| Wasn't she in a strip mall? | ||
| She had like a little office in a strip mall? | ||
| Yeah, she had like a witch doctor thing in a strip mall with like those beads that you probably walked through. | ||
| It looked like a scene from Gremlins. | ||
| Those beads in the 80s, we used to go to a porn section of a video store. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| She probably had a shag carpet. | ||
| She's probably sitting there smoking a butt. | ||
| I'll tell you the realities of this thing. | ||
| Well, the thing is that she was talking about hydroxychloroquine, right? | ||
| She said it was like the drug, and she would just take it when she grew up on Sundays. | ||
| That's what she said. | ||
| I don't think that's what she said. | ||
| No, she was on the Candace Owens show. | ||
| God's Battle Axe and Weapon of War. | ||
| Yes, this woman is who I follow. | ||
| But here's the thing about that hydroxychloroquine. | ||
| The fucking problem with Donald Trump is anything that was effective or anything that was true that was associated with Donald Trump was immediately rejected. | ||
| Whether it was the idea that... | ||
| We were talking before the podcast that I had on an evolutionary bio... | ||
| I had on Brett Weinstein. | ||
| Brett Weinstein was one of the first people that was talking about it is most likely that this virus... | ||
| Emanated from a lab, and it's not a big stretch. | ||
| And he had a good argument. | ||
| When you watched his argument, it was a solid argument. | ||
| He's a scientist. | ||
| He's a legitimate scientist. | ||
| He's a brilliant person. | ||
| And he was saying that if you look at all of the various aspects of this virus, when you look at it, it's much more likely, especially with the fact that there's a Level 4 lab in Wuhan right there. | ||
| This is not like some crazy stretch. | ||
| Yeah, it's crazy that... | ||
| I don't understand why people think it's crazy and what their investment is. | ||
| It's Trump. | ||
| It's Trump. | ||
| It's all political, yeah. | ||
| It's 100% Trump. | ||
| It's all about Trump. | ||
| Because I'm like, if... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who... | |
| Like, why are we treating it with such hostility? | ||
| Why are we treating that possibility with such hostility? | ||
| And the only thing is, yeah, that Trump came out and said it. | ||
| Well, the problem is politics in this country are essentially... | ||
| They've reached this boiling point where the idea of... | ||
| Promoting a civil war is not outside of the realm of possibility. | ||
| It's in the space. | ||
| Right. | ||
| What they're doing is anyone on that side is either a fucking snowflake or a communist or a fool. | ||
| And everyone on this space is a Nazi and a right-wing fascist and a terrible person. | ||
| And there's no gray area. | ||
| And you're seeing this with this storm that we're having here. | ||
| Yeah, people are... | ||
| I do think that people don't have the energy anymore because I've been seeing it on Twitter and I think we're a few weeks or months away from who cares. | ||
| I think Biden and Kamala, I think they're very boring. | ||
| I think no one's going to care. | ||
| I think the far right and the far left, they both lost, right? | ||
| Like the people that are hardcore Trump people lost. | ||
| The people that are hardcore on the far left don't like Biden. | ||
| I just don't think that everyone's going to live in this 24-hour political world forever. | ||
| It's exhausting. | ||
| I think it's over. | ||
| I think comedy is going to go back to being goofy and silly, and people that made living strictly talking about Trump or strictly talking about politics are going to have a tough time of it. | ||
| I think after the Iraq War, that's when that alternative comedy scene started, where people started walking around with top hats. | ||
| Because after the Iraq War and the mortgage crisis, nobody wanted to hear about anything serious. | ||
| So I think if we put a few months... | ||
| A few months down the road, no one's going to want to hear about COVID or Donald Trump. | ||
| I think people are just ready for the next thing. | ||
| So I'm hoping that this all kind of becomes more boring and silly and goofy and fun and more human. | ||
| Well, I hope people come to their senses and realize that we have more in common than we have indifference. | ||
| And that's the reality of being a person. | ||
| My neighbor is a crazy Biden supporter. | ||
| Super nice person. | ||
| I like them. | ||
| I don't think that there's a... | ||
| If you look at what people want, what do they want? | ||
| In times of crisis, it was a fairly short-lived crisis in Austin. | ||
| Today's 40-something degrees, and the roads are clear, and you can drive around, and most people's water is coming back on. | ||
| Most people have power. | ||
| But in times of crisis, you realize that... | ||
| What is important? | ||
| And this is dark, right? | ||
| Staying alive. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Feeding your family. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And taking care of your loved ones. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Hey, do you guys need food? | ||
| We have food. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you guys need wood? | ||
| We have wood. | ||
| You have a fireplace? | ||
| I would add to that your social media brand. | ||
| You have to always safeguard that as well. | ||
| I'm so glad you got me out of there. | ||
| I was reported. | ||
| I was reported for cutting a line at a Whataburger. | ||
| I've lived here for a week. | ||
| Well, that's a criminal offense. | ||
| Here's the reality. | ||
| This is Texas. | ||
| I was... | ||
| A Whataburger was the only thing open. | ||
| Why did you cut the line? | ||
| I didn't. | ||
| And why'd you cut the line with California plates? | ||
| In a fucking Range Rover. | ||
| There's this new game they're playing. | ||
| You were in a Range Rover? | ||
| I was in a Range Rover with California plates. | ||
| Everything wrong. | ||
| I know. | ||
| And I had that stupid bape hoodie on, that dumb, that hypebeast hoodie. | ||
| But I turned, and there's some dude in an F1. Because here's the deal. | ||
| There were two lines converging on the Whataburger. | ||
| I was in one line, but there was the other line had like three or four cars. | ||
| I didn't know that it was one and one. | ||
| I didn't know that it was one car and then one car. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| I don't know what you're saying. | ||
| Well, meaning when you have one line's coming in this way, and I'm coming in that way. | ||
| We're supposed to let one car from my line, and then one car from the other line. | ||
| What did you do? | ||
| After my guy went, I went as well, because I didn't know that that was a legitimate line, because my line was much longer. | ||
| And there was no reason that people couldn't just be on my line. | ||
| They had started another shorter line and were weaving into... | ||
| Are you justifying cutting the line? | ||
| I'm saying, this is again, he didn't support me with the Airbnb, so I'm confused. | ||
| I'm confused. | ||
| Oh, there you are. | ||
| Is this your car? | ||
| If so, what's this guy's name? | ||
| Put his name up there. | ||
| No, it's neighbors uncensored. | ||
| What kind of rats are we dealing with? | ||
| Well, let's find out. | ||
| First of all, the kind of rats that put a space after so and then a comma. | ||
| And then double question marks. | ||
| Is this your car? | ||
| If so, I hope cutting the line at Whataburger made you feel like a man. | ||
| Did it? | ||
| I felt good. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And that you and your idiot co-pilot, Dan, got a good snicker out of it like D-bags, like you tend to do. | ||
| Oh, D-bags like you tend to do. | ||
| Please remove your sorry ass back to California, or at least out of our community, you sorry POS. Wow. | ||
| First of all, can we stop with the Facebook ratting? | ||
| This is unacceptable. | ||
| Well, what's more unacceptable? | ||
| You cutting the line or them calling you out? | ||
| Let's be real. | ||
| Well, it's supposed to be a tough state. | ||
| Come and shoot me. | ||
| Don't rat me out on fucking Facebook. | ||
| Ratting's never appropriate. | ||
| So you really, genuinely, really, if you were on ecstasy right now, would you admit that maybe you kind of thought something was wrong? | ||
| I didn't know that I did the wrong thing until after I'd done it. | ||
| Oh, but you already did it. | ||
| I had already done it, so I didn't know how this worked. | ||
| What you could have done is pay for the guy behind you. | ||
| You say, fuck, I messed up. | ||
| Get out of your car. | ||
| You go, hey, buddy. | ||
| Would you order? | ||
| I'm sorry, I fucked up. | ||
| I'll sponsor the Facebook ad where he shits on me. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| I'll pay for him to boost his post. | ||
| I didn't know who it was. | ||
| I didn't know who it was, but if he wants me to boost his post where he calls me a piece of shit, I'll pay for that. | ||
| What if we get that guy, figure out who it is, and get him some tickets to one of your shows? | ||
| I'll do that. | ||
| I'll absolutely do that. | ||
| We need to make this right. | ||
| If he finds me or whatever, I'll absolutely do it. | ||
| But it's like, I've had a real bad string of people. | ||
| I was thrown off Airbnb. | ||
| This is a fact. | ||
| You did not support me on this. | ||
| I did. | ||
| You did not. | ||
| You said, he should have done the dishes. | ||
| This was your quote. | ||
| Yeah, he should have done the dishes. | ||
| Joe. | ||
| But you shouldn't have been thrown off of Airbnb. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| But you shouldn't leave dirty dishes. | ||
| Joe, we pay a $450 cleaning fee. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Airbnb, they do this scam now. | ||
| They call it COVID cleaning, which is fake because regular cleaning and COVID cleaning are the same thing. | ||
| Cleaning is cleaning. | ||
| You're not going in there with hazmat suits. | ||
| Why'd you leave the plates? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| What? | ||
| Why didn't you just clean the plates? | ||
| Because this is a vacation. | ||
| Are you supposed to clean the plates? | ||
| I don't know what the rules are, but I don't like the service if that's the case. | ||
| I want... | ||
| You feel like you should be able to leave dinner place. | ||
| If I pay $450 for a cleaning fee, you should... | ||
| And the thing is, there were two lesbian women, and I mentioned that, and that's why I was kicked off Airbnb, because they thought... | ||
| Because you mentioned their sexual orientation. | ||
| I mentioned they were a lesbian, and they had a horribly designed house, and they should have maybe asked a gay guy or someone to fix it, but... | ||
| Well, as a gay guy, what have you done? | ||
| What would you have done, rather, to fix it? | ||
| Well, all the furniture, you couldn't sit in. | ||
| It was like art pieces. | ||
| All of the furniture was like a little... | ||
| You couldn't sit in or Tony Hinchcliffe couldn't sit in? | ||
| Tony Hinchcliffe is a bird. | ||
| He can perch on things. | ||
| I'm a human. | ||
| I'm an American human. | ||
| We can't sit on a fucking leather cowhide chair. | ||
| It's an art piece. | ||
| What's wrong with the piece? | ||
| It was a chair of sticks with leather cowhide. | ||
| There were these weird stools. | ||
| Did you take pictures of these things? | ||
| I took all the photos. | ||
| I put them on my Instagram. | ||
| Let's see these. | ||
| These are not for human beings. | ||
| These are for lesbians to drink tea and perch and whatever. | ||
| Why lesbians? | ||
| Why do you care about their sexual orientation? | ||
| Because they're insufferable. | ||
| They were insufferable. | ||
| They wore little hats and had a dog. | ||
| Little hats? | ||
| They had little weird hats and they had a dog. | ||
| Do you like big hats? | ||
| You don't like dogs? | ||
| They had like a weird Weimaraner. | ||
| I just knew who they were. | ||
| I knew who they were. | ||
| I could see the photo and I knew who they were. | ||
| And they probably saw my photo and went, I hate that fat conservative fuck or whatever, even though I'm really in the middle politically and even weight-wise. | ||
| But in this state... | ||
| But they got mad at me, and they got me off Airbnb because I discussed this on my podcast in a colorful manner. | ||
| And I quote-unquote threatened to burn their house down. | ||
| As a joke, I'm not burning your house down. | ||
| It's a bit – I'm not going to burn your house down. | ||
| But I said, like, watch your back. | ||
| Who knows what happens? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's a joke, but these women don't get jokes, and it's not my fault, but to give me a horrible review... | ||
| How did they find out that you talked about them online on your show? | ||
| It's a decent-sized show. | ||
| So I think, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Okay, you guys win, but it's big enough where if we say something on it, it got back to them. | ||
| One of their minions told them. | ||
| First of all, they asked me to give them a good review, which you're not allowed to do in the Airbnb process. | ||
| Right before I wrote the review, I've never given anyone a bad review on Airbnb. | ||
| I don't do it. | ||
| I'm not a rat. | ||
| They texted me and said, hey, our cleaning lady came, had a stroke, LOL, but just give us a good review. | ||
| She said LOL? Yeah, I was like, I don't know why she had a stroke, because it's literally dishes. | ||
| Has your cleaning lady not encountered dishes before? | ||
| If they took black light and scanned the walls, they wouldn't be surprised? | ||
| There's nothing. | ||
| I even left them a tartar sauce and said, use it. | ||
| Because we didn't use it. | ||
| So, yeah, but Dick, I mean, look at that. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| Oh, of course. | ||
| Of course you do. | ||
| It's minimalist. | ||
| These people want to just do ayahuasca. | ||
| Is that a fireplace? | ||
| Yeah, which you can't use because they're not insured for it. | ||
| What is that square hole? | ||
| It was a fireplace that you can't use. | ||
| It's weird, dude. | ||
| It's a fireplace that's like chest level. | ||
| It's a cold environment. | ||
| Isn't that weird? | ||
| I mean, aren't fireplaces supposed to be on the ground floor? | ||
| The whole house is crazy. | ||
| That's really a fireplace? | ||
| I mean, they're culturally appropriating Native America. | ||
| It's just the whole thing makes me sick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe they're Native American. | |
| You don't know. | ||
| They are not. | ||
| How do you know? | ||
| Because I've seen them. | ||
| But what about Elizabeth Warren? | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| That fireplace is in a weird place. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| The whole house is weird. | ||
| It's a pizza oven. | ||
| And I just left. | ||
| There was a few dishes in the sink. | ||
| Show me that picture again. | ||
| And the review of me was like, this guy was a horrible guest. | ||
| They said I broke a cactus, which is literally impossible. | ||
| You can break cactuses. | ||
| How? | ||
| By crunching the spikes with my hands? | ||
| You fall on them when you're on ecstasy. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, these... | ||
| I don't understand what I'm looking at. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| So there's like a log... | ||
| 1,000 a night, 1,200 a night. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'd like it. | |
| I got it for half. | ||
| I'd stay there. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| I really would. | ||
| It's absolutely repulsive. | ||
| I would sit in those chairs and be really comfortable. | ||
| Joshua Tree is a litter box for drug addicts. | ||
| No, it's for people who like to do mushrooms and find themselves. | ||
| Oh, enough. | ||
| Grow up and get a real drug problem. | ||
| Take a Percocet at your office, okay? | ||
| Not everything has to be a journey to hyperspace. | ||
| Not everything, but some things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| I just am a fan of pillheads and cokeheads. | ||
| I like people that are productive. | ||
| But you're in Joshua Tree. | ||
| That's the place where psychedelic people go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| I used to do acid and go to a bar like a person. | ||
| I would be a subprime mortgage guy. | ||
| I would do acid and I would cross over. | ||
| If I did DMT, I would go and when you meet the aliens and they give you all the information about how the world is, I would have tried to sell them condos. | ||
| I would have brought them into my world. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| Relaxation happens here. | ||
| I bet it does. | ||
| Yeah, washing dishes. | ||
| That sounds relaxing. | ||
| I don't like the bars on the chair. | ||
| Oh, the thing is horrible. | ||
| Like sitting on that. | ||
| I wouldn't know where to put my hands. | ||
| I'd probably put them below those metal bars. | ||
| This is really... | ||
| Look at that lady. | ||
| I like how she's sitting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| Wait, go back to that. | ||
| The pool was cold. | ||
| Can you go back to that picture? | ||
| That lady's hot. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| Well, they're fatphobic. | ||
| She's naked. | ||
| Yeah, this is what they're trying to do here. | ||
| They're upset that human beings rented their apartment. | ||
| It's hard to tell because it's in black and white, but she's hot. | ||
| I like how she's just reading. | ||
| She's like, even though I'm hot, I just want to educate myself. | ||
| And there's another lady who wants to be hot. | ||
| Look at the guy! | ||
| Look at his six-pack. | ||
| He hasn't eaten in months. | ||
| That's realistic. | ||
| That guy's shredded, and he's hanging out with a super hot girlfriend. | ||
| There's a few dishes in that sink. | ||
| Tim Dillon, I want to buy this house. | ||
| This is a great place. | ||
| Can you stop? | ||
| I like it. | ||
| Yeah, that... | ||
| Ooh, it's a hi-fi. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a hi-fi. | ||
| Oh, is it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a high-fidelity sound system. | ||
| It was not conducive to having fun at all. | ||
| Dude, when Manson was running around killing people, that was the shit. | ||
| I didn't say anything bad about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that view. | |
| You can see the cactus and the coyotes. | ||
| Oh, isn't that good? | ||
| I fucking love it. | ||
| You loved it so much you moved states. | ||
| Listen, I could get a house there. | ||
| I mean, come on. | ||
| We're starting to get crazy. | ||
| Tim, you're talking to the wrong guy. | ||
| I love this house. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I love the chairs. | ||
| Well, listen. | ||
| Look at that chair. | ||
| I don't believe in Baxter chairs because I have good posture. | ||
| Look at how I sit. | ||
| I left four dishes and these people treated me. | ||
| Why the fuck didn't you just clean those four dishes? | ||
| Because I'm paying a massive cleaning fee. | ||
| Save that money. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no, no. | |
| You have to pay it. | ||
| You're forced to. | ||
| Is that the cactus you broke? | ||
| No, that's the cactus. | ||
| It was broke when I walked in. | ||
| Was it broke? | ||
| It was because somebody was probably, I don't know, shoving in their pussy. | ||
| It was broke when I walked in. | ||
| The most epic hallway you've ever seen. | ||
| Yeah, is that the most epic hallway you've ever seen? | ||
| I've been to some nice houses. | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| I like that espresso machine, though. | ||
| I like a lot of this house. | ||
| I like this house. | ||
| It's all fine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I do. | |
| I like this house a lot. | ||
| It's all fine. | ||
| The women were out of control. | ||
| And again, if you look at my review, I said nice things. | ||
| I think I need to be your liaison to lesbians. | ||
| I've always said nice things. | ||
| And they just said to me, like I was a horrible guest. | ||
| If you look at their review of me, they said I was a horrible guest. | ||
| Why were you horrible? | ||
| Well, they said I left the house in disarray and I broke the cactus and whatever. | ||
| And nobody broke anything. | ||
| You know what you should do? | ||
| Well, you can't do it anymore because you're not in Airbnb anymore. | ||
| But you should just make a video of you leaving the house. | ||
| And then no one can say shit. | ||
| Well, I'd like to get back on Airbnb because I spent money on there. | ||
| And that's where I would go and use to travel and not do hotels. | ||
| I would do Airbnb. | ||
| It's a good move. | ||
| When you have an opener and you have people, you come up with people. | ||
| You have a whole podcast producer. | ||
| Yeah, it's much better. | ||
| Nice food. | ||
| So I'd like to go back on Airbnb, but we'll see what happens. | ||
| That's okay. | ||
| Is there an avenue for reconciliation? | ||
| I don't believe so. | ||
| These ladies, whoever you are ladies, Tim's a good guy and I'm your fan. | ||
| I'm a fan of you. | ||
| I like what you did with that place. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| I like the chairs with no backs to them. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| I like the weird chairs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| I like your view. | ||
| I like your house. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| You can sit out there by the pool and watch that guy with the ripped abs and his girlfriend fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, this is like a FEMA tent. | |
| No, it's not. | ||
| This is like a FEMA property. | ||
| That's not. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| Would you get tarantulas and lizards? | ||
| Scorpions. | ||
| The whole thing's nuts. | ||
| It's a nice little pool. | ||
| It's a beautiful view. | ||
| Look, those people are enjoying it. | ||
| Why can't you enjoy it? | ||
| They're not real. | ||
| Those people don't exist. | ||
| The hot guy and his hot girlfriend, they're real. | ||
| They're not real. | ||
| They don't exist. | ||
| They work out at the Onnit gym. | ||
| They're right down the street. | ||
| They hired these people. | ||
| These are not Americans. | ||
| They're a mile away from us. | ||
| We can visit them right now. | ||
| You're a Hollywood elitist. | ||
| I speak for Americans. | ||
| But I live here. | ||
| I know, but that doesn't matter. | ||
| I speak for Americans who make hot dogs and sometimes leave the plates of the thing because we're paying a $450 cleaning fee. | ||
| And I just think that you should be able to come in and clean it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You love the house so much, you clean it, ladies. | ||
| So anyway, I'd like to get back on there, but I won't be allowed, and that's okay, too. | ||
| Maybe they will let you back on. | ||
| I would imagine not. | ||
| I violated some safety protocol. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Which protocols? | ||
| The safety one. | ||
| Which one is the safety? | ||
| The one where you can't threaten to burn down people's homes, I think. | ||
| I spoke to my lawyer. | ||
| He said to just leave it alone. | ||
| My lawyer was like, just leave it alone. | ||
| He goes, I don't know what you're doing. | ||
| I'm like, I'm in a high-octane war with a few desert lesbians. | ||
| There's two desert dykes that are gunning for me, and I'm going to fucking keep... | ||
| I'm going to ride this until the wheels go off. | ||
| And my lawyer's like, hey, man, what are you doing? | ||
| What am I doing? | ||
| I'm boosting up my fucking podcast. | ||
| I'm trying to fight the good fight. | ||
| How do you think I get paid? | ||
| That's what you should tell him. | ||
| How do you think I get paid? | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| I didn't involve Alex Jones. | ||
| Could have. | ||
| Chose not to. | ||
| Don't do that. | ||
| I'm kidding. | ||
| That's a nuclear option. | ||
| That's a nuclear option. | ||
| Yeah, don't. | ||
| Because he'll find some reason why it's connected to... | ||
|
unidentified
|
He'll say the Airbnb didn't exist, but we'll figure it out. | |
| He'll find some reason why it's connected to the globalists or Satanists or something. | ||
| I gotta see him. | ||
| I just got down here. | ||
| I haven't seen him. | ||
| I want to go have dinner with him. | ||
| I'm very happy that people changed their opinion about him. | ||
| Slowly but surely. | ||
| They're understanding why I've been friends with this guy for 20 years. | ||
| He's a fucking hugely entertaining person. | ||
| He's definitely made some mistakes, but I love that guy. | ||
| Jamie and I had dinner with him and Lex Friedman the other day. | ||
| How fun was that? | ||
| That was great. | ||
| I had a private podcast that no one else gets to... | ||
| We got a private room at Three Forks, which is a great steak place here. | ||
| I know, I've been there. | ||
| Fucking phenomenal steak place. | ||
| We sat down. | ||
| We had so much fun. | ||
| We had so much fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People get so mad that I'm friends with that guy, that I hang out with him. | ||
| Yeah, people get really angry. | ||
| I enjoy him. | ||
| He's a very interesting character. | ||
| If you look at the history of the type of stuff like alternative media or radio or whatever, you are forced to confront him at some point in that history, right? | ||
| Because he's this seminal figure in that movement and he's pissed off everyone that's ever existed and everyone has at one time hated him. | ||
| Republicans, Democrats, everybody. | ||
| Well, initially, he was the guy that went after Republicans. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He became prominent because he was going after George W. Right. | ||
| When George W. was running for president. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And he was kind of protesting at some of his press conferences and stuff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People think he's this right-wing lunatic because he supported Trump. | ||
| I don't think that's who he is. | ||
| Bush has hated him. | ||
| He was one of the guys saying 9-11 has weird stuff going on early on. | ||
| He was also one of the first people that legitimately educated people on the concept of agent provocateurs. | ||
| I did not know that that was a thing. | ||
| I did not know that when there was an inconvenient, peaceful protest, and people need to understand that this is real. | ||
| Google agent provocateurs. | ||
| When there is a peaceful protest and it's inconvenient and the powers that be do not want it to be there, what they do is they send in people wearing masks and dressing up in all black or in some sort of nondescript way. | ||
| a non-peaceful protest. | ||
| They start smashing windows and lighting things on fire. | ||
| Then the law enforcement can move in and shut down the protest. | ||
| That is what happened at the World Trade Organization event in Seattle in 1999. | ||
| And he detailed it in depth, and he showed step by step how this happened and how the people that were the agent provocateurs were eventually released. | ||
| Well, he was always on the outside of politics. | ||
| And then when he got in with Trump, he was kind of entering politics. | ||
| And then when he entered, then it became a real issue. | ||
| Because then people were like, oh, this guy's got sway and power. | ||
| And that's when they started going after him from all the shit that he's said before. | ||
| Look, the guy does like five hours of radio and talking every day. | ||
| And a lot of times he's hammered. | ||
| And he's saying crazy shit, and you know how that goes. | ||
| Well, it's like Rush Limbaugh just died, and a lot of people obviously have strong opinions about Rush Limbaugh. | ||
| I remember I used to listen to Rush Limbaugh growing up, and Rush Limbaugh to me was always this funny, cartoonish figure who was a little wild. | ||
| You knew what he believed, and you knew what he purported to believe. | ||
| And whether you agreed with him or not, he was this guy on the radio in the middle of the day for three hours a day for years. | ||
| And he rarely had guests. | ||
| He rarely took calls. | ||
| He just went. | ||
| He just went from the top of his head for three hours a day. | ||
| And then they found out he was doing it on like 25 oxycontin. | ||
| A hundred. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A hundred? | |
| A hundred a day. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Not only... | ||
| He did so much that he went deaf. | ||
| You understand that? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| You ever see that fucking apparatus that he had connected to his head? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Alex explained it to me. | ||
| It was another Alex Jones thing. | ||
| Basically, the way it works. | ||
| He explained to me how if you do so much OxyContin, you literally can go deaf. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He had his maid, I believe, buying them, and she got busted. | ||
| But this was during the time where what they had was these pain management clinics in Florida. | ||
| And these pain management clinics are – this was all exposed by the documentary, The OxyContin Express. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And what they would do is they would have these pain management clinics who go, oh, my fucking back is killing me. | ||
| And they would go, oh, well, you need OxyContin. | ||
| And they'd write a prescription and you literally go like right next door to where the bathroom is here. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you would walk in there and that's the pharmacy. | ||
| And the pharmacy only prescribes OxyContin. | ||
| Sounds lovely. | ||
| It's bananas. | ||
| And you would just get it, and then you would become addicted. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, this is a huge problem. | ||
| And I know that that family, the Sackler family, has kind of been ostracized from polite society now, like people won't even take their donations. | ||
| For certain types of charities because they don't want to take the blood money. | ||
| A lot of that is because of the woman I had on my podcast, Mariana Van Zeller. | ||
| Mariana, she was... | ||
| What was the network that she did that for? | ||
| Was it on that GO2? I don't believe it was. | ||
| I think it was something different. | ||
| It was something different at the time. | ||
| She has a new show that's amazing. | ||
| It's called Traffic. | ||
| It's fucking incredible. | ||
| This lady, she has titanic balls. | ||
| If she was a man, it would be too big for her to walk. | ||
| It was a show called Vanguard on Current TV. Current TV. Her new show called Traffic, she goes to Columbia where they make cocaine. | ||
| And she's there every step of the way. | ||
| Not only is she there, but she hikes out, backpacks with them. | ||
| And the new show's on Nat Geo, right? | ||
| Dude, the new show exposes how the fucking LAPD, like, rogue agents in the LAPD, are trafficking guns to the cartels in Mexico. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Through LA, because, you know, you can drive into Mexico with no inspection. | ||
| You just drive. | ||
| They don't give a fuck if you drive in. | ||
| So these guys were buying guns, or taking guns from, like, criminals. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And then selling them to the cartels. | ||
| And she went with them every step of the way. | ||
| She went with the people in Colombia. | ||
| She showed them the chemists making the cocaine. | ||
| See if you can get a video of this, because it's fucking crazy. | ||
| It's fucking nuts. | ||
| Is the video online? | ||
| The video of the cocaine shit? | ||
| Dude, it's so crazy. | ||
| They're stomping on this stuff. | ||
| These are the coca leaves. | ||
| They're making the cocaine. | ||
| They pour, like, fucking gasoline. | ||
| There's her right there. | ||
| There's Mariana. | ||
| She's... | ||
| Such a fucking courageous, boots-on-the-ground journalist. | ||
| And she hikes out with them. | ||
| They carry these fucking backpacks filled with cocaine, like a million dollars worth of coke, or three-quarters of a million dollars worth of coke, on their back. | ||
| And they're walking 18 hours through the fucking jungle. | ||
| Because you can't afford to have it in a car, you'll get pulled over, people steal it. | ||
| This is such an interesting process, what they do, you know? | ||
| That lady is so courageous. | ||
| She's tough. | ||
| Dude, you gotta watch the show. | ||
| Why does she do this? | ||
| Is she like a big cocaine announcer? | ||
| Yeah, that's exactly what. | ||
| Can't believe you're ratting her out. | ||
| She's a journalist. | ||
| Can you hate drugs, though, if you're doing that? | ||
| You gotta be a little curious. | ||
| Well, just get a little coked up. | ||
| She's gotta go. | ||
| She probably goes, give me a little taste. | ||
| It's easier to hike out. | ||
| You gotta be a little curious for doing that. | ||
| Imagine if she was just coked up hiking. | ||
| Yeah, you're like, she has big balls. | ||
| I'm like, she's a crackhead. | ||
| She's freebasing cocaine all day. | ||
| She's out there doing coke and fighting. | ||
| Good for her. | ||
| Good for her. | ||
| And you see also there's a lot of myths. | ||
| You think that the people that are growing the cocaine are these evil cartels. | ||
| No, they're farmers. | ||
| The people growing the coca leaves are just poor farmers. | ||
| They need to do it. | ||
| They're out there in Columbia drying them on the side of the road. | ||
| On the side of the road, they have these blankets set out with coca leaves. | ||
| And they're drying them out and they sell them to the cartels. | ||
| That's what like Vice used to be. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Vice used to be that. | ||
| Now Vice is like running things where it's like pregnant women being discriminated against in MMA. And you're like, what? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Or veganism is racist. | ||
| But that's what Vice used to be when it was fucking awesome. | ||
| You would have little mini documentaries where people would go to like towns that were, you know, from like, you know, they go to Chernobyl or something. | ||
| They go to really cool places. | ||
| Machine Smith. | ||
| He did all that shit. | ||
| He went to Chernobyl and they found these nuclear-powered wolves that were running around. | ||
| Dude, shit like that was great. | ||
| Price was amazing. | ||
| And then it just went crazy. | ||
| Well, they sold it for a lot of money. | ||
| It's unfortunate. | ||
| And then they became woke. | ||
| Were you a Limbaugh fan at any point? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No, but did you ever listen to him? | ||
| Occasionally, I would rage listen. | ||
| Did he ever make you laugh? | ||
| No. | ||
| Really? | ||
| He used to make me laugh. | ||
| He'd go, people say that I don't talk to working people. | ||
| And then he'd go, I was on a jet the other day with Bill Parcells. | ||
| He has a job. | ||
| Things like that would make me laugh. | ||
| He was just... | ||
| But again, he supposedly did really bad stuff. | ||
| When gay people died with AIDS, he supposedly mocked them with a song or something, which is like... | ||
| I haven't heard the song. | ||
| I don't know if it's good. | ||
| But I guess it was... | ||
| He did bad shit. | ||
| He's not a moral paragon. | ||
| But I mean... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| The dude, he leaned into being that kind of evil, kind of conservative, cigar smoking, SUV driving, living in a castle in Palm Beach. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait a minute. | |
| I drove around an SUV and I'm smoking a cigar right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-oh. | |
| What are you trying to say? | ||
| But he was also a big fat golfer, which you need. | ||
| You are not. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But he was interesting. | ||
| But anyone that talks for that long, and obviously nobody's going to love them forever. | ||
| You're not going to get loved. | ||
| It's not, you know, part of the program is if you talk for that long, you're going to anger people. | ||
| It's going to anger them. | ||
| But I always remember him as like a figure from my childhood where he would like... | ||
| Always be on the... | ||
| And he would just... | ||
| My grandmother was a big liberal, hated him, and I'd put him on in the car, and she'd hate him, and she'd go, shut it off! | ||
| Well, that was AM radio, was always conservative talk radio. | ||
| Just crotchety, Bob Grant. | ||
| Yes, I remember that guy. | ||
| I remember Bob Grant. | ||
| I used to listen to him in New York when I would... | ||
| On my way to gigs? | ||
| Yeah, he'd be like, get off my phone. | ||
| These people were very, to me, just listening to this world of, it was very funny to me. | ||
| People would get emotional and angry and yell at each other. | ||
| And I was driving around the suburbs. | ||
| I'm like, this is kind of an interesting world. | ||
| Because it's an interesting entrance point into culture is that there's a bunch of people that are fucking angry. | ||
| My favorite was Phil Hendry. | ||
| He's brilliant. | ||
| He's brilliant. | ||
| So Phil Hendry's brilliant. | ||
| If people don't know what Phil Hendry would do, Phil Hendry would play both sides. | ||
| He would be one guy, he would be Phil Hendry, and then he'd be another guy, this ridiculous, outrageous guy. | ||
| A guest who would say things that are preposterous and not true, but it would also be Phil. | ||
| He would use a voice machine, so he would alter his voice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And then he would have callers, and callers would call him, this guy's full of shit! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| This guy's a liar! | ||
| He was also doing them. | ||
| Not always. | ||
| Not always, but every now and then he would do four or six voices in a bit, and it was amazing. | ||
| And then people didn't know. | ||
| People were shocked when they found out that he was one guy having an argument with four people, and you're like, this is one guy. | ||
| The lat level of talent's amazing. | ||
| Oh, he was brilliant, and still is. | ||
| Is he still around? | ||
| Is he still doing it? | ||
| I mean, he's got a Twitter account. | ||
| I'm looking him up. | ||
| It's a tricky thing because once people find out, then if everyone's in on the joke, the joke doesn't work. | ||
| You have to have a bunch of rubes out there that don't understand what he's doing or a bunch of people that have never listened before. | ||
| Or can just appreciate it at least for what it is. | ||
| There he is. | ||
| The Phil Hendry Show. | ||
| I ran into him. | ||
| Who are all those other people? | ||
| Those characters that he plays? | ||
| Is he a Boston guy? | ||
| No, he's an LA guy, I believe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was on in LA. That's when I listened to him. | ||
| But I hung out with him. | ||
| Me and him and Stan Hope did some thing together with a couple other people in, I believe it was Montreal, some interview show. | ||
| And he was a lovely guy, like a really nice guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, he's supremely talented in a way that very few people are that can do that. | ||
| And he's really like, he's gracious. | ||
| Like when I say, I go, dude, I really love your show. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I love what you're doing. | ||
| I love the nonsense of it. | ||
| I love the chaos he creates. | ||
| And he got a giggle out of it. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Because guys like Rush obviously had politics. | ||
| So they would do three hours a day, but it's one topic. | ||
| But a guy like Phil is just different all the time. | ||
| The amount of prep work that goes into that. | ||
| The amount of ingenuity and imagination is crazy. | ||
| Here's a good point. | ||
| Do you think that a guy like Rush is pure, meaning that these are his real opinions? | ||
| Or do you think that he finds a lane that he can be successful in? | ||
| I think it's a bit of both. | ||
| Do a lot of Oxycontin and bang a lot of women and drive around in a Rolls Royce and smoke cigars and just talk craziness. | ||
| Probably a little bit of both because one starts to reinforce the other. | ||
| That's a problem with characters. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We see that with comics. | ||
| Like Dice. | ||
| It's a perfect example. | ||
| Who I love. | ||
| Love Dice. | ||
| Dice used to be Andrew Silverstein. | ||
| And the Dice Man was one of the characters that he did. | ||
| And then he just became that guy. | ||
| But that was the great character. | ||
| That was the guy. | ||
| But he became that guy. | ||
| He leaned into it. | ||
| The same thing with Kinison. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Kinnison was a comic who became Sam Kinnison when he became famous. | ||
| Brilliant comic. | ||
| Pentecostal preacher, crazy, wild man, speaking in tongues, all that shit. | ||
| Tent revivals. | ||
| And then when he became famous, and he talked about it openly, that he became known as being this guy who could do insane drugs. | ||
| So they would lay out a fucking line of coke as long as this table. | ||
| He'd snort it off. | ||
| They'd be like, it's him! | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's him! | |
| It's him! | ||
| Lay the drums out! | ||
| And he would lay down and snort it off and be like, oh my god, I'm going to fucking die. | ||
| Is it hard to be beaten out of his chest? | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| I think Rush started kind of like Alex. | ||
| Rush started as a very somewhat conspiratorial, outside the mainstream voice on a small radio station. | ||
| And then I think he found the way to really make money was to take a side and stick with it. | ||
| Yeah, but that's the thing, right? | ||
| It's like you find a place where you're... | ||
| And that's... | ||
| It's difficult for all of us. | ||
| But he did define... | ||
| But don't you think that's difficult for all of us? | ||
| It's hard for everybody. | ||
| But when you find a place where you're successful... | ||
| It's hard to... | ||
| We, personally, without naming names, we've seen it in people. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Like, the right lures them in, and then they lean into it like, yeah, you're right, you're right. | ||
| And then they go into that, and you see them change. | ||
| You see, like, you're not the same person who you were a year ago. | ||
| Well, it's the way you said it best, where it's like, if that's how you get attention, you keep getting attention that way. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I think with Rush, he started to define this landscape where he became – the mainstream media in America is decidedly left-leaning. | ||
| I mean obviously it's a for-profit commercial space, capitalist space, everything like that. | ||
| But left-leaning in the optics and Rush was kind of that conservative voice. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| On radio. | ||
| He was the insurgency, so to speak, against that popular culture. | ||
| And he defined that space kind of more than anybody. | ||
| And he became this grandfather of that type of culture. | ||
| Conservative radio. | ||
| And all the people that didn't feel represented, they finally had a guy, and they would give him so much love. | ||
| They loved him, and they would drive around with him. | ||
| It's an interesting medium, radio. | ||
| It's very personal, because you're driving around, a lot of times you're alone, and a lot of times you're not happy. | ||
| And then you connect with this person on the radio who's there all the time. | ||
| So they're there every day at the same time. | ||
| Well, that's the same thing as podcasts. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Well, podcasts are the evolved form of that. | ||
| But podcasts, people are more engaged as a listener because they've got to seek it out. | ||
| They've got to – but they still feel very – But radio, you would just turn the dial, and then some guy's talking. | ||
| It was wild. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Podcasts, the other thing about podcasts, and this is the thing that I've been talking to Spotify about, as much as people hate the comment section of YouTube, I think it's important. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And I think it's one of the reasons why I still have clips on YouTube. | ||
| It was an imperative... | ||
| It was one of the things that I wanted... | ||
| Period. | ||
| I was like, you have to have clips. | ||
| We have to have clips up available. | ||
| If you don't want to put the whole show on... | ||
| And eventually... | ||
| Originally, the whole show was going to be on YouTube. | ||
| And then the... | ||
| This is what happened. | ||
| I'll tell everybody. | ||
| When the Elon Musk episode happened, the first one I did, when I got him to smoke weed... | ||
| And then there's this viral moment. | ||
| My manager said to Spotify, listen, you have to have video. | ||
| Because they didn't want it to be on YouTube. | ||
| And that was the deal breaker. | ||
| I was like, it has to be on video. | ||
| It has to. | ||
| You have to have something, some video aspect of it. | ||
| That's where you get a viral moment. | ||
| You don't get an audio viral moment. | ||
| You need video. | ||
| You need to see Elon go... | ||
| You need to see that. | ||
| And then they're like, you're right. | ||
| Let's do video. | ||
| And then they got into video. | ||
| And that's one of the reasons why there's so many hiccups in the transition between YouTube and what we're doing right now. | ||
| I can't talk too much, but a lot of it is going to improve. | ||
| There's a lot of stuff that they're on the verge of releasing, which will help a lot in terms of people having access to the video portion of the show. | ||
| You gotta have comments. | ||
| I think comments are important because it gives people the sense that they can talk about it. | ||
| They can talk shit. | ||
| They like to criticize. | ||
| They like to pile on. | ||
| They like to have their own little thing. | ||
| And I think that's an important part of the show. | ||
| That's missing on talk radio. | ||
| On talk radio, they don't have that. | ||
| It's missing on that. | ||
| However, talk radio before the comment section was like this weird original comment section where people would call up and then they'd have regular callers. | ||
| So you have the guys that have the top comment. | ||
| Everyone's fighting to get that top comment or whatever. | ||
| You had regular callers that would call in. | ||
| And Bob Grant, there's one guy who's called Bob Grant, and he goes, you know, come on. | ||
| Get out with it. | ||
| I know you want to talk about the Jews. | ||
| Because this was just an anti-Semitic guy who would just start from anywhere. | ||
| He'd be like, you know, the Columbus Day Parade. | ||
| Here's the problem with hot dogs. | ||
| Yeah, it would just go right to Jews. | ||
| So you'd have these regular crazy callers. | ||
| And it was the beginning of all of these weird things, like Reddit or any of these things. | ||
| Because they would send Bob Grant and all these people, they would send them song parodies. | ||
| They would send them artwork. | ||
| They would send them... | ||
| It was just this weird... | ||
| That's where everyone's like, where is this... | ||
| All this male anger? | ||
| Where... | ||
| You know, it's like it was there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's always there. | |
| Male anger. | ||
| Yeah, whatever it is. | ||
| It's like there's always frustrated people that are angry. | ||
| You gotta give them an outlet, and the outlet should be kind of funny. | ||
| Isn't it interesting that, like, female versions of podcasts, when you come to, like, female anger... | ||
| Like, what are the top female podcasts? | ||
| It's Guys We Fucked, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, then not no, because they're on Lumosity. | ||
| What's the other one? | ||
| Yeah, Luminary. | ||
| Call Her Daddy is the big one. | ||
| But what it is, there are girls talking about stuff that they would talk about if they were hanging out with their friends. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Where no one was listening. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that is, it's not political. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Or murder. | ||
| That's a big one. | ||
| They love murder. | ||
| They love serial killer shows. | ||
| They love murder. | ||
| And they love those A&E unsolved mysteries. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of women out there that are like, I hope someone cares enough about me to throw me in a trunk. | ||
| That's not what it is. | ||
| I think that's a lot of what it is. | ||
| No, they're vulnerable. | ||
| Well sure, there's part of that- They wanna understand what- Psycho-sexual thing, sure. | ||
| No, that's not what I'm saying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No? | |
| They wanna understand the male violence. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| They don't see the- They don't have that aspect of their brain. | ||
| Yes, but I also think some of them are like, hey, doesn't that sound nice? | ||
| The only female serial killer that's on record that we know of is Aileen Wuornos. | ||
| Aileen Wuornos. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Who made that movie Monster. | ||
| My friend Patty, she directed that. | ||
| She made it. | ||
| Yeah, it's a great movie. | ||
| It's an amazing movie. | ||
| It's about, and she would just kill Johns. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But only when they fucked with her, I think. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, she'd kill them all the time. | ||
| She fucking hated those guys. | ||
| Well, she was abused and raped. | ||
| I know, but, you know, I don't know. | ||
| That shows you how good Charlene Theron is, too. | ||
| She's great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Charlize Theron. | ||
| Isn't she the one that plays all the Asian parts? | ||
| People get mad? | ||
| No, that's the Scarlett Johansson. | ||
| Right, thank you for correct me. | ||
| You're gay, you don't care about these women. | ||
| I don't really care about these women. | ||
| I mean, I know who they are. | ||
| I think they're good actresses. | ||
| There's a big difference. | ||
| Yeah, I'm not following Scarlett Johansson's career. | ||
| I do like when she plays an Asian, though. | ||
| I think that's good. | ||
| I don't think it was an Asian. | ||
| I think she was playing a Caucasian in a role that was traditionally an Asian role. | ||
| Well, I support whatever she wants to do. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| I think she should play Queen Latifah in a biopic. | ||
| Whatever she wants. | ||
| I don't think that's advised. | ||
| I'm all for chaos and people getting mad. | ||
| Didn't she back out of a movie where she was supposed to play a trans person? | ||
| Yeah, she's always the one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that true, Jamie? | |
| It's always her that she's always going to play someone that she shouldn't play. | ||
| It's always like, Scarlett Johansson is going to play Maya Angelou. | ||
| And everyone's like, what the fuck? | ||
| Everyone's like, no. | ||
| And then she comes out and she's like, I just didn't realize the deep pain. | ||
| Scarlett Johansson is Harriet Tubman. | ||
| Yeah, she's Harriet Tubman. | ||
| Just go out and own it and be like, I am Maya Angelou. | ||
| Fuck you if you can't see it. | ||
| I'm the greatest actress that ever lived. | ||
| Stop with the apologizing. | ||
| But they just CGI her to make her black. | ||
| It's not blackface. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I'm all for it. | ||
| It's no different than Avatar. | ||
| It's acting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, yeah. | ||
| She's an interesting character. | ||
| Did you ever see that movie? | ||
| I think it's called Under the Skin. | ||
| It's an indie science fiction movie with Scarlett Johansson. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| It's one of my favorite science fiction movies. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| She plays an alien that... | ||
| I just gotta remember the premise. | ||
| An illegal alien? | ||
| No, she's an actual alien. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| Like an actual alien from another planet. | ||
| And... | ||
| I forget what she does. | ||
| Like, she... | ||
| Disguising herself as a human female, an extraterrestrial, drives around Scotland, attempting to lure unsuspecting men into her van. | ||
| Once there, she seduces and sends them to another dimension where they're nothing more than meat. | ||
| That's kind of fucking cool. | ||
| It was a good movie. | ||
| That's pretty cool. | ||
| 63% like this movie, and yeah, 37% are just pussies. | ||
| It was a good movie. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's a weird movie. | ||
| You gotta see it. | ||
| It's real weird. | ||
| Under the Skin TV series. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait, wait, wait. | |
| Back up. | ||
| Back up to what you just had. | ||
| TV series leads to bidding wars. | ||
| Uh-oh. | ||
| There's a TV series based on it. | ||
| I wonder if Scarlett Johansson's going to be in that, too. | ||
| See, the thing is, like, part of it, she's oddly beautiful, right? | ||
| Like, look at that picture in the middle, the up top. | ||
| It's very pretty. | ||
| She's very pretty, but in a weird way. | ||
| Undeniably beautiful, but untraditional in some ways. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Exotic? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Weird. | ||
| You would think she wouldn't buy in any bullshit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Pretty, but probably too smart for her own good. | ||
| She dates Colin Jost. | ||
| He's the writer on Saturday Night Live, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She's married to him. | ||
| Yeah, they're married. | ||
| We can update. | ||
| Good dude. | ||
| Really good guy. | ||
| You like him? | ||
| You know him? | ||
| He's a really good guy. | ||
| When I opened for him at Caroline's years ago, he gave me extra money. | ||
| He's just a really class act, good guy, friendly guy. | ||
| Dress is nice. | ||
| Dress is nice. | ||
| Good dude. | ||
| Beautiful hair. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, he's a good dude. | ||
| He wins. | ||
| He wins. | ||
| He's like a Harvard guy. | ||
| He's killed it. | ||
| He married Scarlett Johansson. | ||
| He just killed it in life. | ||
| Don't they have a baby together or something? | ||
| I don't know them that well. | ||
| She has a baby, right? | ||
| They might. | ||
| Does she have a baby previous to him? | ||
| I don't give a fuck about that. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She might be pretending to be pregnant. | |
| She's pretending to have a baby. | ||
| She's full of shit. | ||
| Yeah, she is a mom. | ||
| She's a mom. | ||
| Her child's Asian. | ||
| I don't think that's true. | ||
| But I'm a fan. | ||
| I'm available. | ||
| But there was a movie where she got in trouble. | ||
| I was looking that up. | ||
| Yeah, here it is. | ||
| Scarlett Johansson faced criticism for wanting to play a trans man in Rub and Tug. | ||
| First of all, the name alone. | ||
| Rub and Tug? | ||
| Perfect. | ||
| It was announced that Johansson wanted to play Dante Text Gill, a trans man who ran a massage parlor and prostitution ring in Pittsburgh in the 1970s and 80s. | ||
| There was pushback asserting that a trans actor should have a chance to play the part. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| Find me a trans actor that everybody knows that's going to sell tickets the way Scarlett Johansson does. | ||
| You've got to understand there's a business involved in making movies. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| That's a great point. | ||
| It doesn't invalidate her. | ||
| She's an actress. | ||
| If she plays a superhero, when she plays Black Widow or whatever the fuck it is, she's not really a fucking superhero. | ||
| She's not or a spider. | ||
| What is the one? | ||
| Is it Black Widow? | ||
| She's not really a fucking superhero. | ||
| Guys, she's acting. | ||
| Why can't a regular heterosexual woman play a trans man? | ||
| Why not? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think people are like, hey, give the trans person. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| How many people, though? | ||
| Of course. | ||
| And also, they've got to make money. | ||
| Movies are cast. | ||
| I just spoke to a big director recently, and I didn't even realize this. | ||
| Are you dropping names? | ||
| He told me I was going to be in something, and I submitted the audition, and I didn't get it. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| And then I lost $1,800 on AMC stock, and I thought I was going to retire. | ||
| So can someone call Dave Portnoy and ask for my money? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha! | |
| Where's the line holding? | ||
| Fuck now. | ||
| He's busy sampling pizza. | ||
| So I talked to his director. | ||
| He goes, listen, he goes, they cast a movie based on box office numbers. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| I mean, it's like no one cares. | ||
| Yeah, if you're doing a movie and you feel like you're the perfect person for the role but Marky Mark wants that part, it's over. | ||
| It's over. | ||
| So I don't know who they're replacing me with. | ||
| Probably Amy Schumer. | ||
| Probably The Rock. | ||
| Amy Schumer. | ||
| From me to The Rock, I think it's tough. | ||
| From me to Amy Schumer, I think 30 yards, it's the same actor. | ||
| I don't think it's even 30. But, yeah, I mean, you know, Hollywood, it's a tough thing. | ||
| Listen, now it's even tougher, right? | ||
| Who the fuck is going to go to a movie theater now? | ||
| It's also the idea of like, it's like if my grandparents and all the people that came to this country wanted to be fucking comedians or actors, we'd all be fucking dead. | ||
| Thank God they had real jobs. | ||
| You want more trans people at the fucking post office. | ||
| You don't want trans people, gay people, or anybody to throw their lives away on this crazy profession that works out for such a small percentage of people that try it. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| What is the percentage? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean... | |
| There's a better chance of being a professional comic. | ||
| That's a small one, too. | ||
| It's small, but at least it's self-actualized. | ||
| To a degree. | ||
| To a degree. | ||
| Listen, if you're undeniable, if you're really funny and you keep going... | ||
| Some people think they're undeniable. | ||
| Yeah, but that's wrong. | ||
| But if you literally are funny... | ||
| I mean, that's like fighters. | ||
| Some guys think they can kick everyone's ass, and then they find out. | ||
| They find out. | ||
| They meet Kamaru Usman, and they get fucking brain damage. | ||
| They got killed. | ||
| Listen, there's a lot of people out there that think they're the shit, but comedy is... | ||
| At the end of the day, it really is something that, in a sense, is pure. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Because, you know, I had this conversation with Ali Wong. | ||
| She's like, do you think comedy is a meritocracy? | ||
| And I said, I think it's one of the rare ones it really is. | ||
| She goes, I agree. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I agree. | |
| If you are up there and you make them laugh, one of the things that's saddest to me is watching people who are talented to a degree, but lazy. | ||
| And they blame other extraneous outside forces and pressures for why they didn't make it in stand-up comedy. | ||
| I'm like, man, that's rarely the case. | ||
| Look at Joey Diaz. | ||
| There's a lot of people that just don't fit any fucking mold, but they're so undeniable that they make it. | ||
| So what stops someone from achieving success? | ||
| Well, a lot of times it's a lack of introspection. | ||
| It's a lack of objectivity. | ||
| It's a lack of looking at your act and saying, well, why aren't people showing up? | ||
| Why aren't people filling these clubs? | ||
| Why aren't people filling the theaters? | ||
| What's happening here? | ||
| I also think it's a tough thing. | ||
| You've got to get into it at the right time. | ||
| You've got to be ready to do it. | ||
| You've got to have your vices in check. | ||
| Or not. | ||
| Here's the big one that's unrecognized that I think I've really zeroed in on. | ||
| It's community. | ||
| We support each other. | ||
| If we don't support each other, we don't mean as much. | ||
| That's 100% right. | ||
| It means... | ||
| That's one of the reasons why so many guys are thinking about coming out here to Austin. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because they know that we'll support them. | ||
| I think it's still a tough thing to do, even with all that stuff, and you've got to be ready to go to war. | ||
| You've got to be ready to fight for 10 years or however long it takes. | ||
| At least 10 years. | ||
| Yeah, at least 10. Yeah. | ||
| And it's a very tough thing to do, but that's what makes it special and all the things you said are important. | ||
| But you meet certain people and you go, that guy could have been really funny or that girl could have been really funny. | ||
| But they get off the train. | ||
| They get married. | ||
| They get sidetracked. | ||
| They get lazy. | ||
| And they have lives. | ||
| Some of them have lives. | ||
| Some of them get lazy and they don't write enough. | ||
| They don't write enough. | ||
| Yeah, a lot of them get lazy. | ||
| They don't do enough sets. | ||
| A lot of them don't do, like a podcast. | ||
| What I try to do, I try to do a bunch of, be funny on a bunch of different platforms, which saved my life because when the stage was taken away, I was like, okay, well, I have this podcast. | ||
| I can make these funny videos and we can do these things. | ||
| My God. | ||
| I need to create shit and make shit. | ||
| Well, not just that. | ||
| You also need to be active. | ||
| Some people aren't crazy enough, Joe. | ||
| Some people aren't crazy enough. | ||
| You've got to be a little crazy. | ||
| Well, they're not crazy enough in the right ways. | ||
| Sometimes they're crazy, but they're crazy in this blame everybody else way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which is really dangerous. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's really dangerous because you can get people that agree with you and then it doesn't help you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| If you blame everybody else, the problem with that is there's no solution. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because everybody else is the problem. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But if you look at yourself and you go, how could I have maximized my impact? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| What have I done wrong? | ||
| I like to do both. | ||
| I like to work very hard and still blame others. | ||
| That's not bad. | ||
| I like to still be cynical and angry and blame everyone, but also work very hard. | ||
| I like what you're saying. | ||
| Very few people do that, but I don't want to lose my negativity and my ability to say, fuck these people, but I also work very hard. | ||
| But most people can't do both. | ||
| Most people go, well, fuck it then. | ||
| And I'm like, I'll complain for a half hour and then I go, all right, I'm going to go do all the stuff I got to do. | ||
| And people are like, really? | ||
| It's like, yeah, it's what I do. | ||
| Well, that fuck it, then, is a fucking dangerous perspective. | ||
| It's dangerous, yeah. | ||
| Because it doesn't help you, and it's like you've encountered a puzzle, and you've got to think about it like a boss in a video game. | ||
| Like, you hit that final level, and you can't figure out how to beat it, and you're like, it's not possible. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But it is possible, because other people have beaten it. | ||
| Other people have done it. | ||
| I had this conversation with my mom at one point in time. | ||
| She was talking to me about comedy. | ||
| It just seems so hard. | ||
| I go, but you've seen professional comedians that you like, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| They did it. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I go, well, what do you think is the difference? | ||
| Right. | ||
| She was like, I don't think you're funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, that gave you the motivation you need. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I thought it was hilarious because my mom is a wonderful person. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not a job for everyone. | |
| This is the thing. | ||
| My mom is not a supportive person in the sense that she's never said, you can do anything. | ||
| She's always been like, whoa, I don't know why you're doing that. | ||
| But that was the case with martial arts. | ||
| And that's a lot of people's moms. | ||
| But it's not a bad thing. | ||
| No. | ||
| Because they worry about the odds of you being successful. | ||
| I think the worst thing is a parent who goes, you can do everything. | ||
| That is worse. | ||
| That's bad. | ||
| That's worse. | ||
| I mean, the advice that my generation got was very like pie in the sky. | ||
| It was like, you can do anything you want, follow your dreams. | ||
| But it was like, there was no next part of that, which is like, by the way, work, sacrifice, risk. | ||
| You've got to tolerate levels of risk, right? | ||
| I think that's part of it with comedy. | ||
| You've got to tolerate levels of risk. | ||
| You've got to do something for a while, not earn money, hope it works out, and then it's a little risky, and depending on where you are in your life, some people are better suited to do that than others. | ||
| You also have to accept the grind. | ||
| And some people, they want a break. | ||
| They want a point where they cross the finish line and they're done. | ||
| Can't. | ||
| They made it. | ||
| Yeah, I made it. | ||
| And there's a real problem with comics who cross that finish line in terms of like they get on a television show. | ||
| And then we used to see that at the store all the time. | ||
| People who were decent comics. | ||
| But they would get sandwiched in between Jesselneck, Diaz, Shafir, me, and they would get stuck in the middle of that, and they would just eat shit, and they would be angry, and they'd be angry at the store. | ||
| And it's not the store. | ||
| Yeah, it's not their fault. | ||
| You were in an assassin's lineup. | ||
| And look, there's a parallel in jiu-jitsu, okay? | ||
| And the parallel in jiu-jitsu is like, if you were in a gym where there's a bunch of white belts and blue belts, and you're a black belt, you go in there... | ||
| You have what's called an easy roll. | ||
| They're not at your level and you can kind of tap everybody and you never get tapped. | ||
| But then you'll go to some fucking crazy gym where everybody's an assassin and you get handled. | ||
| And you get angry. | ||
| Those guys roll too hard. | ||
| They're going to get injured. | ||
| They're this, they're that. | ||
| But no, no, no. | ||
| They're willing to get injured. | ||
| They're willing to fight and battle it out at a different level. | ||
| They're willing to hit a certain RPMs that maybe you're not comfortable with because you can't do that every day if you have a life. | ||
| If you have a life and a job and a career and a family and a mortgage, you're not going to put in eight hours a day on the fucking match. | ||
| But some guys are. | ||
| And you can't be mad at them. | ||
| Can't be mad at them. | ||
| And if you go to the store... | ||
| The store basically doesn't exist anymore. | ||
| But if you go to a place like what the store was a year ago... | ||
| Cellar, whatever. | ||
| It's more the store. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because the cellar was really good. | ||
| It's a really great club. | ||
| But it wasn't the same sort of assassins lineup. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You would have, like, Chappelle would drop in or Attell would be there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But, goddammit, there was nights at the store where you would look at the line. | ||
| We would laugh. | ||
| Like, this is fucking crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like, historic. | |
| It's Tuesday night. | ||
| It's historic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You gotta be in that life. | ||
| You gotta live that life. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| You gotta be in it 100%. | ||
| And that's why the kid I'm with is in it 100%. | ||
| That kid I'm worried about. | ||
| Yeah, he's gonna fail. | ||
| But you call him your opener. | ||
| That's a problem. | ||
| Well, he opens right now. | ||
| I was someone's opener. | ||
| I mean, this is what happens. | ||
| You've called people your opener. | ||
| But I want to be surrounded by people who are in it. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I want to be surrounded by people that are like... | ||
| I want to get better every day. | ||
| And that's the thing. | ||
| And that's important no matter what level you're at, I think, to surround yourself with people who are truly about getting better. | ||
| And so many people are not. | ||
| But then you look at Bill Burr or Chappelle or you or guys that just have so many hours of material out and have crafted hour after hour after hour after hour. | ||
| And you go, fuck, if I want to hang with those guys, I've got to be a lot better. | ||
| And even people like... | ||
| You know, you go over the store and you look at some people that are not famous and they're amazing. | ||
| It's like in order to be at that level, you just got to keep working. | ||
| Well, this is the thing about being famous. | ||
| I think I have a responsibility when I find people who are very funny, who aren't famous, I want to get them famous. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| I really feel that. | ||
| I have a pull. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I have a lot of responsibility in life, but I feel like I have a responsibility to this art form that's been very, very good to me. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that's one of the reasons why I wanted to really set up shop here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because I felt like because of this podcast, because this podcast is a gigantic antenna, it's a gigantic broadcasting station. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like I can get the word out about people. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, you've always done that. | ||
| You did that for me. | ||
| You did it with a lot of people. | ||
| You built the scene in LA, kind of, single-handedly, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, I didn't build it. | ||
| It was already there. | ||
| You didn't build it, but you gave it a spotlight. | ||
| I used what I had with the podcast, and I said, let's jumpstart this motherfucker. | ||
| And I feel like I can do that here, and that's one of the things that I want to do. | ||
| And I think about it all the time, man. | ||
| My wife would be talking to me about furniture and shit, and I'm thinking, I can build this motherfucker up. | ||
| I can make this place utopia. | ||
| I can make this place a stand-up haven. | ||
| That's one of my main goals in life right now is to just figure out a way to, as a person who's established in stand-up and financially established and secure, you could just sit back and retire and relax in your laurels and just never work again. | ||
| Or you can say, I can make a difference in this art form in that I can give a platform and create a place where people are safe. | ||
| We can experiment. | ||
| You can take chances. | ||
| I used to take Ari Shafir on the road with me and I'd get him so high he'd forget what he was talking about. | ||
| And he'd go, I'm too high. | ||
| I can't go on stage. | ||
| I'd go, dude, it doesn't matter. | ||
| You can't get fired. | ||
| I said this to him. | ||
| I go, you're my friend. | ||
| I go, you never get fired. | ||
| I go, I want you to be free and free to fuck around. | ||
| And he's like, oh yeah. | ||
| I go, yeah, you can never get fired. | ||
| Well, he's been a little too free in the last year. | ||
| But it's debatable. | ||
| But that's the thing about giving people the space to be who they are. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| You have to give them the space to make mistakes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I feel like... | ||
| You can establish that in an environment like Austin that's not connected to Hollywood. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because there was a carrot that was dangled in front of us. | ||
| You can get a sitcom. | ||
| You can get a talk show. | ||
| You can be in movies. | ||
| And that was always the carrot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And these comics sort of whored themselves out to become a part of that. | ||
| And there's a lot of good comics who became terrible talk show hosts and terrible movie actors. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Whatever spark of brilliance that existed in their stand-up comedy in the early days that could have possibly led to something truly exceptional was extinguished and it was extinguished by this idea that you could become a part of this system that was very controlled and very censored and very like you could only exist you had to be left-wing you had to be progressive you had to be you know you can't have any controversial opinions because if you did people come after you You have this weird little area where, | ||
| as a comic, for a guy like you, that's not... | ||
| It's not gonna happen. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| It's not good that there's such a stifling of that. | ||
| But then there's also, listen, there's gotta be shitty shows for people that wanna watch them, so let a lot of those comics write shitty shows. | ||
| Let actors do it. | ||
| Let actors do it, whatever. | ||
| To me, I'm like... | ||
| Hey, if that's the way you want to spend your life, writing for whatever late night show, fill in the blank, you can do that. | ||
| There's a lot of guys who could have gone, if they were here or they were in Hollywood in the late 90s, they could have gone down that road. | ||
| The brilliant guys today, like Schultz or Giannis Papas or a lot of these guys, they could have been seduced. | ||
| I don't think they would have been. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Some guys of that level could have been seduced. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And drawn into the... | ||
| And then it's like, hey, you're getting $100,000 an episode to be on some terrible fucking sitcom where they have laugh tracks. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And there's no freedom. | ||
| There's no creative freedom. | ||
| Oh my God, it's death. | ||
| There's a few of those shows that are still on the air, and I watch them sometimes now. | ||
| But they're for someone, right? | ||
| Those shows are for people whose brains are broken. | ||
| OxyContin. | ||
| That's a large proportion of America. | ||
| So they have to have entertainment, too. | ||
| There's a lot of people out there that are not intellectually able to listen. | ||
| You talked about Weinstein for three hours. | ||
| They want to watch something stupid. | ||
| And they want to watch the show, you know, let them have it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, listen, I'm not saying they should stop doing those shows. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, listen, man, you should still make children's books. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's 100% right. | ||
| It's 100% right. | ||
| Modern art, you know, you want to go watch a bunch of fucking paint splatter on the wall with a fucking... | ||
| I feel like you and Austin is almost hilarious because it's almost like a crazy movie where you are teaching blue-haired Antifa people to be comedians. | ||
| There's a lot of really wild, far, whacked out people here and there's something hilarious about you telling a fat activist that – That they should hold it down on the waffles and write more. | ||
| There's something hilarious about you. | ||
| Well, you could do both. | ||
| You could do both, yeah. | ||
| I've loved performing here. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| And I'm excited to see what happens with it. | ||
| This is going to get crazy, Tim. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This place is going to be crazy. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| It's 100% going to be crazy. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I think it'll get crazy. | ||
| If I stay alive. | ||
| If I can stay alive, it's going to get crazy. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| I'm all in. | ||
| I got plans. | ||
| I'm excited. | ||
| I told you those plans. | ||
| You've seen some pictures. | ||
| I'm excited. | ||
| We got some shit happening. | ||
| It's going to be crazy. | ||
| I can't wait to announce all the things that we have happening. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's going to get... | ||
| Buckwild. | ||
| It's going to be crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And Segura's already moved here. | ||
| He's already bought a house here. | ||
| A lot of people are opening clubs. | ||
| Hinchcliffe moved here. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Cap City's reopening. | ||
| Mark Grossman from Helium is involved in that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All that stuff is very good, man. | ||
| There's going to be a lot of different options for people that want to do... | ||
| Yeah, and I'm going to help everybody. | ||
| I'm not about just for me or if I open a club, my club. | ||
| I'm not about any of that. | ||
| I'm about, let's go, everybody. | ||
| Come on down. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| I want to suck as many people into this vortex as possible. | ||
| That are funny. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That want to work hard. | ||
| And then the people that are thinking about it, like, you know, I'm struggling. | ||
| I'm doing open mic in Kansas City. | ||
| It's not working out. | ||
| Come on down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| We can do this. | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| This is a fucking wild place, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, and this place is this weird spot that used to be run by the Comanches 150 years ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You have to realize how nuts that is. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's crazy. | ||
| 150 years ago, like, if you were a white person and you were walking down the road here, you would get shot with an arrow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Well, there's a lot of people here that want that to be the case now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A lot of people want to bring that commission. | ||
| It'll be interesting to see. | ||
| It's going to be interesting to see what happens in New York and L.A. and when the quarantine's over and people are out there vaccinated, things are better. | ||
| Those cities I'd like to see get back. | ||
| They might not even have to get vaccinated. | ||
| You see what the numbers on COVID are? | ||
| They're low. | ||
| Well, it's Biden became president. | ||
| They're dropping. | ||
| COVID was really excited about Biden and Harris. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| They got dropped. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, COVID... COVID's over. | |
| Yeah, I mean, things are dropping, and we're ready to go back to work. | ||
| They've dropped by 50%. | ||
| The cases have dropped by 50%. | ||
| That's suspect. | ||
| No! | ||
| Stop being a conspiracy theorist. | ||
| It's fine. | ||
| That's a little suspect. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I'm not even a little worried. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Well, no, I'm excited. | ||
| I'm back out on the road, and I'm getting back to doing these things, and hopefully these clubs start opening at a larger capacity. | ||
| My favorite is you tweeted about this. | ||
| The people that have never worked at these clubs literally don't work. | ||
| And they're mad that people have to do stand-up. | ||
| You'd think if comedy, you'd think if you went to be in finance and it didn't work, you'd quit and leave. | ||
| But it's like the idea of somebody just walking around Goldman Sachs complaining and going, these people, just go away. | ||
| But they're on Twitter and they're angry that they haven't built a fan base. | ||
| They didn't work hard. | ||
| They spent their time drinking, drugging. | ||
| Whatever they did, they just didn't take advantage of any opportunities. | ||
| So they're participating in conversations that are meant for people that are actually earning a living. | ||
| At this thing. | ||
| And they're not. | ||
| And never have. | ||
| And they're still trying to participate in those conversations. | ||
| So to me, it's like, fucking nutby. | ||
| If I started talking to UFC fighters, well, I don't actually think it's... | ||
| Like, what the fuck? | ||
| You have no... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Place in this conversation. | ||
| Well, they're allowed to have their opinions, but they need to understand that we understand where their opinions are coming from. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Their opinions are coming from, they don't, look, when I was 21 years old and I was an open miker, I remember wanting people to bomb, and it's shameful. | ||
| It's a shameful feeling. | ||
| Oh, you don't want them to bomb anymore? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| It's so fun! | ||
| Are you crazy? | ||
| I wanted people to bomb that were going on stage because I wanted to feel good about me. | ||
| Dude, there's nothing better. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was jealous. | |
| We had a guy in Long Island once that gave me and my friend a 25-minute discussion. | ||
| He literally lectured us about how comedy worked, and then he went out and bombed horribly, and it was the greatest thing ever. | ||
| And then he walked back in, he looked at us, and he went, they were good. | ||
| And then he just walked out of the green room. | ||
| Because the level of delusion is just... | ||
| It's enviable. | ||
| There was a guy that I worked with back in the early days of my career, and he was the host of an open mic night. | ||
| And I went up and, you know, I had a pretty decent set, but I guess I swore a lot. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And he's like, ladies and gentlemen, Joe fucking Rogan! | ||
| And he goes, can he say fuck enough? | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| And so offstage, the guy pulls me aside and lectures me. | ||
| And he tells me, and he goes, he had this bit. | ||
| And the bit had the word fuck in it. | ||
| And he had to remove the word fuck because he realized that the word fuck was hampering his bit. | ||
| And I said, I think the only way that bit works is if you say fuck right there. | ||
| Because it shows that you're actually angry. | ||
| And that's how people talk when they're really angry about things. | ||
| And he goes, if you want to work... | ||
| And he goes, you remove those words because those words are a problem. | ||
| You're getting laughs now? | ||
| He goes, but you want to be a professional? | ||
| He goes, this is not how you do it. | ||
| And he was like really dicky to me. | ||
| And I recognized at the time, I mean, he was one of those guys who would go on stage with like a gas station attendant jacket on. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know those guys would do that? | ||
| With the name tag on. | ||
| They would wear the wacky clothes. | ||
| He was trying hard to be a funny guy with striped socks on. | ||
| I'm wacky! | ||
| And then, I shouldn't have done this, but years later, I became successful. | ||
| Killed his family. | ||
| I was on a sitcom. | ||
| I was working with him and he was the host and I was the headliner. | ||
| And I said, I want you to go on stage and I want you to tell all those people about all these credits that I have. | ||
| That you don't. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then I want you to tell them how you gave me really terrible advice when I was an open-miker and made me feel bad. | ||
| Go ahead, do that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he looked at me like this, like... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I was like, that's what you did. | ||
| I was an open-miker. | ||
| You made me feel shitty because you were bombing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Your life was awful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And you didn't like the fact that you were this, like, mediocre, like, middling sort of local stand-up comic. | ||
| And you were suppressing all these other voices. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that guy now is Bill de Blasio. | ||
| So you see how it all works out in the middle of nowhere. | ||
| Yeah, it was really weird. | ||
| But he literally said to me, I said, I go, but the guys that I've always liked are dirty. | ||
| I go, the guys that I've always liked have been like Sam Kinison and Dice Clay. | ||
| He's like, you're not Kinison. | ||
| You're not Dice. | ||
| This is what he said to me. | ||
| And I was like, but they weren't Dice. | ||
| They weren't Kinison when they first started. | ||
| And he's like, all right, you don't want to listen? | ||
| You don't want to listen? | ||
| Fine. | ||
| Fine. | ||
| It was a real shitty moment. | ||
| The Patrice doc is coming out on Comedy Central, and I want to watch that. | ||
| I haven't watched anything on Comedy Central in 10 years, and probably won't again after this. | ||
| But that's a guy that you knew. | ||
| I loved him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, he's like, for the guys that I'm around, and the New York guys that we kind of came up, he's just our idea of what a true, pure comic genius is, like a guy that doesn't give a fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, he really stated his opinions. | ||
| He didn't compromise his opinions to make people like him. | ||
| He said things that you would agree with if you were alone with him having dinner and you would laugh. | ||
| And then he did that in front of giant groups of people. | ||
| And some people were like, whoa, what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He'd be like, I don't give a fuck! | |
| And he didn't. | ||
| He was free, but he also didn't give a fuck about his health, unfortunately. | ||
| He was diabetic, and he didn't take care of himself. | ||
| Now he's gone, but he left behind a legacy of purity. | ||
| And there's room for these wild people. | ||
| And this is the love that I have for Joey Diaz, right? | ||
| This purity. | ||
| And for Joey, watching him struggle with people suppressing him. | ||
| And I had an agent at one point in time that told me not to take him on the road with me. | ||
| I'm like, it's really bad for your career. | ||
| This guy, he's not talented. | ||
| I go, you're crazy. | ||
| I go, I've been doing comedy for 11 years. | ||
| This guy's the funniest person I've ever met in my life. | ||
| He makes me laugh harder than anybody. | ||
| I don't know what to tell you. | ||
| I'm like, I'm not listening to you. | ||
| I had this conversation with a former agent that I had. | ||
| And he experienced that every step of the way because he was the guy that made everyone laugh in the green room. | ||
| And he would go on stage and he would... | ||
| In the beginning, people had a hard time figuring out who he was. | ||
| And then somewhere along the line, he didn't give a fuck anymore. | ||
| He thought he was going to get a sitcom or a movie and he was tentative at first. | ||
| And then something clicked in Joey. | ||
| It was like in the late 90s, where he went from being a guy who had really inconsistent performances on stage to being a guy where the comics would go to the back of the room and sit down and watch when he would go on stage. | ||
| And he didn't give a fuck anymore. | ||
| He figured out what made people love him when he was younger, when he was doing comedy to prisoners, literally when he was in jail. | ||
| They would go, Coco, get on stage! | ||
| And he would go on stage in prison and make everybody laugh. | ||
| And he figured out how to do that in front of all of us. | ||
| And then he became... | ||
| And I realized as a person who was... | ||
| When I met Joey, I was on news radio and then the Fear Factor days. | ||
| I'm like, I'm going to champion him. | ||
| I'm going to... | ||
| This is what I like. | ||
| I like wild people. | ||
| And this is as wild as it gets. | ||
| I'm like, I need to get this guy in front of as many people as I can. | ||
| And tell them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because this is what comedy... | ||
| Comedy is not always what you like. | ||
| It's what's... | ||
| There's a lot of people out there that love a lot of comics. | ||
| You're allowed. | ||
| It's like music. | ||
| I'm not a jazz fan, but I get that people love it. | ||
| People that I'm friends with love. | ||
| Alonzo Bowden, he does jazz tours. | ||
| I love Alonzo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't get it. | |
| I listen to it and it's like making a bunch of fucking noise. | ||
| I don't get it. | ||
| People love it. | ||
| They love it. | ||
| You're allowed to love that. | ||
| You're allowed to love fucking Reese Witherspoon movies. | ||
| You're allowed to. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, you're allowed. | ||
| She's great. | ||
| She's very talented. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're allowed to love wild shit, too. | ||
| We don't live that long, Tim Dillon. | ||
| Yeah, that's a good point. | ||
| I'm 53. I would like to see a romantic comedy with Reese Witherspoon and Joey Diaz. | ||
| I'm allowed to want that, too. | ||
| Where she just wants coke and dick. | ||
| Yeah, I'm allowed to want to watch a Jersey love story between Joey Diaz and Reese Witherspoon. | ||
| And Scarlett Johansson can play Joey Diaz. | ||
| She can play an alien who becomes Joey Diaz. | ||
| Yeah, why not? | ||
| Yeah, there's room for everybody. | ||
| And I think that one of the things that's important is it's important to be able to criticize things that you don't like because there's parts of it that are valid. | ||
| But then it's important to just go, who cares? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Right. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| There's got to be a give and a take. | ||
| And people, I think, and I think the Trump era is over. | ||
| People are now going to start, I think, hopefully chilling out. | ||
| I think it's coming. | ||
| I really do think it's coming, whether people want to admit it or not. | ||
| And I think people are just going to realize that, like, as you said, life is too short to fight with everybody all the time about everything. | ||
| We've got to get away from the politics and get into something that's a little more important. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| I think people like you are very important. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know you're right here, but I'm going to say this to your face. | |
| You have this ability to mock everything constantly. | ||
| And I think that's critical because one of the saddest things is these comedians that have become serious political commentators with no sense of self-deprecation. | ||
| They want to be taken seriously. | ||
| It's absurd and it's scary. | ||
| It's understandable. | ||
| Yeah, it's understandable. | ||
| I think at a certain point people just get sick of... | ||
| Wherever they're at, they're like, I want to do something else. | ||
| And they're like, hey, this is the route to getting attention and this is the route to being important. | ||
| I want to be... | ||
| I want to write... | ||
| When Chelsea Handler was tweeting about espionage, I was like... | ||
| Was she? | ||
| She was tweeting about, like, Russiagate at one point. | ||
| Like, Trump being a Russian asset. | ||
| And I'm like... | ||
| But did she ever, like, apologize for being... | ||
| But it's also like, you don't know what you're talking about. | ||
| Like, you've never read a book about the CIA or the FSB or the KGB. You don't know what you're saying. | ||
| You're talking. | ||
| You're just spouting off. | ||
| So to me, it's like, I... And I've read books on those things, and I still know it's hard to know what the fuck's going on in that world. | ||
| So the fact that you have written books about, like, whatever, and they're funny books about fucking midgets and shitting yourself, that's great. | ||
| But then to go and say, and by the way, here's also my take on counterintelligence. | ||
| I say this is a little wacky. | ||
| It's a little wild. | ||
| You're out of your depth. | ||
| You're out of your depth. | ||
| But being a famous person is intoxicating. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And other people call upon you. | ||
| They want to find out what your opinions are on things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But, you know, you've got to tell them, I don't have any. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| It's hard because you're like, oh, yeah, they want to know my opinions. | ||
| I must be important. | ||
| Well, John Mulaney did this thing on SNL that was really, really funny. | ||
| When he did this thing where he's like, oh, white guy's gonna win no matter what happens. | ||
| And then people were like, fuck you! | ||
| And then he had to come out and go, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. | ||
| I'm not for Trump. | ||
| But he was making a deeper point. | ||
| He was illustrating a larger truth that was funny, and he fucking, like... | ||
| Had to then come back and go, yeah, yeah, yeah, well, I actually... | ||
| So it's like with the Weinstein joke, it's like I'm not going to explain the joke. | ||
| So it's like you can be offended or you can not be offended, but at the end of the day, it's like I'm not going to explain the joke to you. | ||
| Either you can get on board or not be on board, and you don't have to like me. | ||
| It doesn't matter to me. | ||
| It's my job to make fun of shit. | ||
| And if you want a society where it's only the targets that you approve, you sound a lot like those people on the left that you criticize. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, and that's the problem. | ||
| Or on the right. | ||
| Whoever. | ||
| They're all sensitive. | ||
| Yeah, everybody. | ||
| Yeah, it's an apolitical problem. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I like John Mulaney. | ||
| I've met him a couple of times. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's a very nice guy, and I think he's a very talented comic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But when I secretly, when he, not even secretly, when he had his problems with coke and booze, I went, oh! | ||
| Okay, he's normal. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| There's a part of me that was like, he's one of us. | ||
| Yeah, he struggles. | ||
| Yeah, he's got things. | ||
| Well, he's also, he's got, again, he's leaning into love as much as Rush Limbaugh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Not in the same way, not in a hateful way, but he's, you know, he's this, he's not being clean about the demons. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah, well, that's not, yeah. | ||
| When is Jerry Seinfeld going to come out? | ||
| When is he going to be fucking doing bath salts and punching people? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Doing them out in the Hamptons? | ||
| But you know what I'm saying? | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| When someone's that tightly wound or put together, yeah, there's a lot. | ||
| I get nervous. | ||
| There's a lot, yeah. | ||
| I get nervous. | ||
| I'm a lot more comfortable with people that kind of let it hang out a little bit. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| But I appreciate the... | ||
| I look at those guys that are kind of like CIA agents where it's like they are very curated images and there's something I... Respect. | ||
| I don't know if it's the right word, but it fascinates me that I watch it. | ||
| We know people... | ||
| Listen, there's a lot of people who are out there that are... | ||
| Whether they're... | ||
| I don't know if it's living a lie or living... | ||
| There's a lot of people that are just not letting their full self be known. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's okay. | ||
| That's a choice. | ||
| Because a lot of people go, I don't want to get famous as me. | ||
| I want to get famous as this version of me. | ||
| And I'm going to make it up. | ||
| Well, there's also things like pressure from your family. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| When I was a kid, this is a weird confession, but it's true. | ||
| I used to be really uncomfortable with girls that I was dating that came from healthy families. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I wanted girls from single moms. | ||
| I wanted girls from divorced families. | ||
| Not that I wanted them, but they made sense to me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like, when I would date a girl and she had, like, a really healthy mother and father and they were still together and they were dating since high school, I'd be like, ugh, they're gonna hate me. | ||
| You wanted someone who could have similar experiences to you. | ||
| Well... | ||
| Alternative chaos. | ||
| When I was 21, I had this girlfriend that her dad was a doctor, and he really had a really hard time with me being a comic. | ||
| I was just starting out. | ||
| And he was like, what are the odds that he makes it? | ||
| That was what she said. | ||
| I'm like, we're 21. Do you not understand? | ||
| Right. | ||
| But that's, yeah, I mean, those are those, some parents are really, it's a tough, you know. | ||
| It's tough because, you know, his idea was like you got to be able to pay your water bill. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| He's not wrong. | ||
| You do have to be able to pay. | ||
| But you also, you don't want to wish that you were a baseball player and just sell insurance forever and just watch baseball and just dream and wish. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But you also don't want to go around your neighborhood going, I'm a baseball player. | ||
| And everyone goes, no, you're not. | ||
| Are you out of your mind? | ||
| You go, yeah, I'm a baseball player, and I'm in a baseball Facebook group, and I have opinions about when we open the stadiums back up. | ||
| Or, I'm a comic, and then you're like, well, where do you work? | ||
| Well, I worked at the comedy store. | ||
| Like, okay. | ||
| I don't know you. | ||
| How do you work at the comedy store? | ||
| Like, oh, I did a spot in the belly room. | ||
| Oh, you did a bringer show in the belly room. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That, like, a homeless person could do. | ||
| You get found out. | ||
| My favorite thing is from Long Island, where I grew up. | ||
| People's credits were physical places. | ||
| Like, they would go, you've seen this guy in Atlantic City. | ||
| Please bring up whoever. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He opened for... | ||
| Or they'd just go, Borgata. | ||
| You know this guy from Borgata. | ||
| And they'd bring him up. | ||
| So it was like, Long Island had the saddest credits ever. | ||
| Of any place I've ever... | ||
| It would be a guy who was brought up and they'd go, he runs a show every Tuesday night at Ravioli's on Route 110. Please bring up this guy. | ||
| And then he'd get up and it would just be tough. | ||
| Were you around when Jimmy's Comedy Alley was around? | ||
| No. | ||
| I started in like 2011. Oh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What the hell is Jimmy's Comedy Alley? | ||
| You ever heard of it? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, it was in... | ||
| I'm sure there's... | ||
| Logan Island had like 20 clubs. | ||
| It was a bowling alley that became a comedy club in... | ||
| God, when I was there, it was 92? | ||
| 93? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Somewhere around there. | ||
| And there was this dude, I wish I could remember his last name. | ||
| His name was Keith. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And he was really funny, man. | ||
| He had potential. | ||
| But he fell into this kind of... | ||
| Keith Anthony. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Keith Anthony is one of the best out of Long Island. | ||
| And he... | ||
| He fell into this Bill Hicks thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He drove all the way to California in a Cadillac with no roof. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But it didn't have no roof like it was a convertible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like someone sawed the roof off of an old Cadillac. | ||
| Oh, interesting. | ||
| And he drove there in the rain. | ||
| He gave me great advice, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What did he say? | |
| He said, move to New York City. | ||
| He goes, if you don't move to New York City, he goes, everything you do is a joke. | ||
| He goes, in Long Island, nothing will ever matter. | ||
| He goes, if you want to make it at this, move to the city. | ||
| And he goes, comics get seen in classes, so you'll come up with other funny people. | ||
| And he goes, you've got to be in the city. | ||
| And I was going to go kind of anyway, but he really made me move much sooner. | ||
| And he was like, this is how you do it. | ||
| So I'm forever grateful to him. | ||
| He's a beast of a funny guy. | ||
| Where is he? | ||
| I think in Long Island. | ||
| He came up with me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, he was on a list of top eight comics to watch in the 90s or something. | ||
| Yeah, I met him in 92. Yeah. | ||
| I met him at Jimmy's Comedy Alley. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| And the lady that... | ||
| I think it was in Queens? | ||
| Google that. | ||
| It was a literal bowling alley in Queens that my manager, Jeff, his friend ran, and she was the manager of him, of Keith. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And I remember seeing him, and I'm like, oh, this guy's like... | ||
| He's daring. | ||
| He's risk-taking. | ||
| We became friends, and then I came out to LA in 94, and he came out shortly after, maybe 95. It just didn't work. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's tough. | |
| I was on stage. | ||
| I was in the back of the room, rather. | ||
| I did my set, and he was on. | ||
| He was on stage, and he was saying something, and someone just fucking called him out, man. | ||
| Some guy just yelled out, what are you saying is bullshit? | ||
| You're just trying to be cool. | ||
| And it was this weird moment. | ||
| I didn't see him around after that. | ||
| I don't know if it contributed to it or if it was one of those things where he just decided LA's just too full of shit. | ||
| It's too industry. | ||
| Because he was like this sort of Avant-garde. | ||
| He read a lot and he wanted his comedy to mean something. | ||
| Which was interesting about that he would do really well in Long Island because those audiences aren't the smartest people, but he would really always do really well. | ||
| Well, he did really well when I saw him. | ||
| Yeah, because he was very funny. | ||
| I mean, there was a lot of those guys. | ||
| He was, I think, the most, you know, like as you said, like... | ||
| Intellectual of the group of people that were doing it. | ||
| It wasn't just funny. | ||
| It was funny, but he had meaning in what he was trying to do. | ||
| That Long Island is kind of like a pit. | ||
| That you can fall into if you don't stay out. | ||
| Is he still in Long Island? | ||
| I don't know if he's still doing stand-up. | ||
| I don't know what he's doing. | ||
| I mean, but every time I saw the guy, he would crush. | ||
| He was a very nice guy. | ||
| He was intense, but very nice. | ||
| Yeah, I agree. | ||
| And would give good advice, and was very intense, and was a cool dude in general. | ||
| We were in the same class, so he didn't give me any advice, but we were always cool with each other. | ||
| We were always friendly. | ||
| I always asked him, I said, what... | ||
| What differentiates the guys who, like, figure it out? | ||
| And he goes, you gotta get out of here. | ||
| I'm like, you're right. | ||
| That's sort of true, but sort of not. | ||
| Well, it was the baseline. | ||
| It was the least you had to do was go to New York, right? | ||
| The least you had to do was go to a city. | ||
| You're not gonna make it from Long Island. | ||
| Well, you can, but what you have to do is be autonomous. | ||
| You have to be someone who's not connected to the local... | ||
| Scene. | ||
| Meaning that you don't do local comedy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You don't do comedy for them. | ||
| You do comedy for you. | ||
| Yeah, but still, you have to have a platform, and that was New York. | ||
| New York had all the hot clubs. | ||
| It had all the good agents and managers and bookers and all the bullshit. | ||
| You had to get known there, which I was trying to do. | ||
| You needed both. | ||
| Yeah, it's good to do both, but all the people I know who started out in Long Island fell into that hole. | ||
| Is he around? | ||
| Let's call him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| He stormed the Capitol last week, probably. | ||
| Yeah, he's got horns on. | ||
| Wolverine mask. | ||
| But he was a really funny dude. | ||
| A lot of the people that I started with in Long Island just stayed there. | ||
| They got passed at a club and they never... | ||
| Yeah, there he is. | ||
| I'm trying to find a Twitter Instagram. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| It's like a podcast he did. | ||
| That's Carrie Kravis, who's funny. | ||
| She's out of Long Island, too. | ||
| Matt Burke's a funny guy from Long Island. | ||
| That's him on the right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| What did he look like when you knew him? | ||
| Like a younger version of that guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so he's still out there. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| He had a show last year. | ||
| I don't know if he's done shows during the pandemic, but I've been trying to find... | ||
| He was a good dude, though. | ||
| He's always nice to me. | ||
| Always nice to me. | ||
| And I admired him. | ||
| I admired what he was doing. | ||
| And again, we're talking about 94. I was 27 years old. | ||
| He was probably similar age. | ||
| It's like sometimes people, they want to be Jack Kerouac. | ||
| They want to be Bill Hicks. | ||
| They want to be this... | ||
| And they try to figure out what's the way to be. | ||
| And there's a few others that weren't nearly as successful as him that I could name, but I don't want to be cruel. | ||
| They just want to be artists. | ||
| And instead, they want to sort of mimic. | ||
| And a lot of us mimic people in the beginning that you think, like, this is what Dave Attell sounds like. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He's a comedian. | ||
| I want to be a comedian, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And you sort of fall into this trap of mimicking people that you idolize. | ||
| Whether it's idealistically, stylistically, whether it's ideologically. | ||
| You want to be someone who has the same impact on the audience that other people have had an impact on you. | ||
| And it's hard to just be yourself. | ||
| Like there's these weird gauntlets that you have to run. | ||
| There's weird obstacles that you have to get over. | ||
| And I think this is probably true in any art form. | ||
| Whether it's in singing, in music, or even painting. | ||
| Anything. | ||
| Like, you have to find out who you are. | ||
| And a lot of times in the beginning, you're just faking it. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| You're mimicking other people with your own ideas. | ||
| But you're mimicking, like, how would Lenny Bruce talk about this subject? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, I think that's true. | ||
| And I think that, like... | ||
| It's a long journey to figuring out how to be comfortable as yourself, not only in life, but then you have to do it on stage in front of hundreds or thousands of people. | ||
| That's crazy, right? | ||
| So how many people are comfortable being themselves on Earth? | ||
| Many people are not comfortable being themselves at Geico. | ||
| So the idea that they're going to do it in front of a room full of people is tough. | ||
| Fahim talked about that on the podcast last week. | ||
| He said, I had to figure out how to get comfortable being observed. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| And he was talking about being at Starbucks, putting cream and sugar in his coffee and worrying that there's a bunch of people waiting. | ||
| He's like, I can take the time to put the cream. | ||
| It's just like, it's a normal thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I can't be worried about this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| This is normal. | ||
| I'm allowed to do this. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And there's like this really interesting observation because he's like, this thing of like, oh, just get out of here. | ||
| You know, like we all have this worry that people are sitting here going... | ||
|
unidentified
|
The fuck this guy's taking so much time with the cream? | |
| See, I'm such a different person. | ||
| I just stand there with the cream. | ||
| I yell at the people. | ||
| I'm like, do you have chocolate milk? | ||
| I want to make a mug. | ||
| I'm such a different one. | ||
| I can't even relate. | ||
| I'm trying in my head to relate to that. | ||
| I guess this is why I've kicked off Airbnb and I'm being posted about in Facebook groups. | ||
| But God, if I never thought about the people behind me at the Starbucks line. | ||
| Do you don't have any empathy for the people behind you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No. | ||
| That's why you cut the line at Whataburger. | ||
| Listen, man, you gotta live. | ||
| It was an opening. | ||
| You took it. | ||
| Survival. | ||
| Yeah, I get it. | ||
| Fahim's a better person than me. | ||
| You're cool with admitting that, though? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What do I sell tickets to my shows and go, come see Gandhi? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| What's that about? | ||
| Come see the Dalai Lama. | ||
| Yeah, come see the Dalai Lama. | ||
| Come learn moral lessons with Tim Dillon. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| I'm not doing anything super horrible. | ||
| No. | ||
| I'm just, you know, listen. | ||
| Why are you comfortable with that, though? | ||
| What? | ||
| That. | ||
| I'm not doing anything super horrible. | ||
| This is what we're supposed to be. | ||
| We're not supposed to be like, I am the greatest person that's ever lived, which is why I get up on stage and demand 300 people pay attention to me every night because I'm selfless. | ||
| Yeah, that's a weird thing. | ||
| Because I'm a selfless, altruistic person. | ||
| I want everyone to pay attention to what I'm saying because I'm goofing. | ||
| And I'm not even saying anything that important. | ||
| I'm goofing around in a tent. | ||
| And I want you to watch me because I'm a selfless human being whose heart is full of love. | ||
| No, that's fake. | ||
| I hate that shit. | ||
| You can be a good person. | ||
| I'm good to my friends and people I respect and my family and whatever. | ||
| And I'm good to other people, too. | ||
| I'm not a bad person. | ||
| But I admit that, like everyone else, I have piece of shit tendencies and qualities. | ||
| And I admit that. | ||
| And then supposedly now you're supposed to lie about that so people respect you more? | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| But that doesn't work. | ||
| If you lie about it, nobody buys into that. | ||
| They like the fact that you admit it. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I had a feud with my aunt on my show where I just called out my fucking aunt. | ||
| For what? | ||
| What'd she do? | ||
| She commented on my Instagram. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, said some shit about like, oh, you don't respect your grandfather's legacy. | ||
| So I just went at her for 25 minutes on my podcast. | ||
| Yeah, and I just fucking aired out Dirty Laundry. | ||
| I got in a big fight with her on the fucking podcast. | ||
| I just screamed. | ||
| And it's like... | ||
| Did you ever have her call in? | ||
| No. | ||
| She would, too. | ||
| She's a QAnon retard. | ||
| She's like on Facebook... | ||
| I mean, her fucking whole life's over. | ||
| Trump's her boyfriend. | ||
| Her boyfriend Trump got thrown out. | ||
| She's in trouble. | ||
| What was the problem with the grandfather's legacy? | ||
| She's like, you don't even think about your grandfather's legacy because you know the shit I say and the way I act. | ||
| And I'm like, you know. | ||
| What is your grandfather's legacy? | ||
| Well, he was like a family man and everything like that. | ||
| I'm like a fucking wild nut. | ||
| But so I just went at her on my show for 25 minutes. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| So you're comedy because you're crazy and saying wild shit for laughs. | ||
| She was mad at that. | ||
| She doesn't like it. | ||
| Is that really the case or is she just upset that you're getting a lot of attention? | ||
| Well, I don't know what upsets her, but I think it's maybe a combination of both, but I just kind of went at her on the show without worry about, like, you know, what... | ||
| It's my job to kind of be honest in that time. | ||
| Did you mention her by name? | ||
| Not her last name, but... | ||
| You know, but I mean... | ||
| She commented on your fucking Instagram, though. | ||
| She started. | ||
| She started. | ||
| So again, it's like... | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, sometimes you have to get in fucking things. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| You ever talk to her after? | ||
| No, I don't... | ||
| It's gonna be bad now. | ||
| If I go to, like, family parties... | ||
| No, it'll be bad. | ||
| It was a brutal, brutal takedown of her because she's a horrible person. | ||
| But she also doesn't like me! | ||
| She doesn't think I'm a good person. | ||
| So that's okay. | ||
| We're all okay. | ||
| You're disrespecting your grandfather's legacy. | ||
| Yeah, something like that. | ||
| And then I went out and just told everyone her fucking, you know, you're a fucking cunt and here's why. | ||
| And I listed the reasons why. | ||
| What are the reasons? | ||
| Well, you know, she's just a problem. | ||
| You know, she's never worked. | ||
| It's a whole thing. | ||
| She's never worked? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, you know, she's full of shit. | ||
| I just, I don't want to go through it again because I don't want to like, you know. | ||
| Well, again, I've never heard it. | ||
| I know, but I've been asked by my family to kind of keep it, you know. | ||
| What family members? | ||
| She's, my dad was like, okay, just, we get it. | ||
| You had to do what you had to do. | ||
| Yeah, my dad's sister. | ||
| And we just got in a thing. | ||
| I'm willing to put it behind me. | ||
| But, you know, like she faked a drug overdose, for example, once. | ||
| She pretended to overdose on drugs. | ||
| So I brought that up. | ||
| I brought that up. | ||
| How does one do that? | ||
| You pretend to like pass out and go to the hospital. | ||
| So, I mean, I brought that up. | ||
| I brought that up. | ||
| How am I not going to bring that up? | ||
| You have to. | ||
| How would I not bring that up? | ||
| Glass houses. | ||
| How would I not bring that up? | ||
| Don't throw rocks. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| My whole thing is this. | ||
| Listen, we're paid to kind of be honest and put ourselves out there. | ||
| You can't always be concerned what people are going to think. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, you can't. | ||
| Otherwise, you don't get anything done. | ||
| Comedy without victims can be very boring. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, it's just what it is. | ||
| It's like, you know, listen, I get, you know, that, you know, I'm not going to get a Nobel Prize. | ||
| You might. | ||
| The way shit's going, I might. | ||
| I'm completely comfortable with... | ||
| Couldn't Trump get a prize? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, that's perfect. | ||
| He got nominated? | ||
| He got nominated. | ||
| Which one? | ||
| For the Nobel Prize. | ||
| Peace, right? | ||
| The peace one? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, I mean, I'm okay with that. | ||
| I'm not in this to get a Nobel Prize. | ||
| Me neither. | ||
| Yeah, and that's the problem. | ||
| That seems like a problem. | ||
| Because a lot of people now are kind of in it I don't even want an award. | ||
| Have you gotten any awards? | ||
| No. | ||
| I've gotten an award. | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| You can get awards. | ||
| No, they're not going to get... | ||
| I mean, you know, who knows? | ||
| I mean, listen. | ||
| There's cool awards, but yeah. | ||
| I mean, I'm more focused on, like, the idea that I can make a living at this is great. | ||
| That's the reward. | ||
| Awards for art are weird. | ||
| They're strange. | ||
| They're weird. | ||
| But they're cool when they meant something, like back in the, you know, when it was like 1995 and the nominees were like, Casino, Leaving Las Vegas, Apollo 13, like all these like, you're like, oh fuck, these are all good. | ||
| Now it's like a horror. | ||
| I heart radio. | ||
| Yeah, now it's like a horror. | ||
| It's like the movies are like, it's like insane. | ||
| It's like, you haven't seen half of them. | ||
| Half of them are like the... | ||
| The Webbys. | ||
| Yeah, the Webbys. | ||
| People come out and they start giving a political speech and just they're like, you know, it doesn't affect anyone. | ||
| They're like, 50% of the grips on this set were women. | ||
| Everyone's like, oh, it's good. | ||
| I mean, no one, you know. | ||
| Why is that good? | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| It should be open for everybody. | ||
| Remember when Meryl Streep came out and was like, mixed martial arts are not arts. | ||
| Yeah, it's not the arts. | ||
| She was going right at you. | ||
| Yeah, she just doesn't understand. | ||
| It is an art. | ||
| She was a great actress, and one of the greatest ones, but now you see her, it's like, it's goofy. | ||
| She's like, gotta stop. | ||
| But she doesn't understand when she said that, what she's saying. | ||
| What she's saying is that, like, my version of art is the only version of art. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| What I think is art is art, because this is how I define it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Martial arts are an art form. | ||
| It's just an art form that's brutal and violent, and it's only really truly appreciated by people that understand and or practice that art form. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But when I see someone head kick somebody, it's beautiful. | ||
| And I know that sounds crazy. | ||
| What do you think about Cobra Kai? | ||
| Do you think it's legit? | ||
| I like the show. | ||
| It's stupid at the end, though. | ||
| Season one's great. | ||
| Don't ruin it. | ||
| I'm only on season two. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| Well, in season three, Lizzo runs a dojo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| Lizzo has a donjo. | ||
| She's like, yo, wanna learn karate? | ||
| It's rough. | ||
| But you have to eat only vegetables. | ||
| I love how they wrote an article in the LA Times. | ||
| They're like, Cobra Kai's too white. | ||
| It's like, it's a movie. | ||
| It's like they were in a movie. | ||
| Did they really say that? | ||
| Yeah, it was an article. | ||
| The whiteness of Cobra Kai! | ||
| Keep going, please. | ||
| Keep writing all those stupid articles. | ||
| Eventually people are gonna realize that it doesn't matter. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| What matters is if you stop someone from doing something because of their color. | ||
| It doesn't matter that people do it because if a certain percentage of people do it and they happen to be whatever, gay, straight, black, white, Asian, that's irrelevant. | ||
| It's whether or not they're being inhibited, whether or not they're being prevented from doing it, whether there's a barrier, whether someone gets to, like, hey, you can't do this because you're gay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| That's one of the beautiful things about comedy is there's no barrier to entry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| No one cares. | ||
| You can do it no matter what. | ||
| Podcasting too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you kill? | ||
| Do you kill? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, even podcasting is interesting, right? | ||
| Because there's zero barrier and no one has to even be listening and you still do it. | ||
| Like if you just decided to do a podcast every week and it was terrible- No one's gonna stop you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You can just keep going. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And there's a lot of people out there doing that right now. | ||
| There's a lot of people that I know of that have been doing podcasting for a decade and they're awful and no one cares. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Amazing. | |
| And they'll get a few thousand views or listens. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But they're terrible. | ||
| And they just keep doing it. | ||
| And it's part of their identity. | ||
| It's like, do you remember those guys that were open micers that had been doing comedy for 20 years? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they were still open micers? | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you would go, I don't understand. | ||
| But it's what they are. | ||
| They just showed up. | ||
| And it was okay. | ||
| It's sad. | ||
| But it's also part of what they enjoyed doing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Monday night, they would show up. | ||
| They would put their name on the list. | ||
| And they would go up last. | ||
| And then they kept doing it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| There's a guy, Robert William Appervire at the Comedy Store, who was like this, he was a lawyer who kind of went crazy, and he was like semi-homeless, and he would show up at the Comedy Store every week, and every week he would go on really late at night, and every week he would have these kind of funny, sort of witty one-liners, and that was his realm, you know? | ||
| And he got some sort of a juice, some sort of charge out of performing, and Even though he never became a professional in the sense he never got paid. | ||
| But he was always there. | ||
| There was a guy that used to get up and just scream about his wife and just he threw his phone once in a bit and broke his phone. | ||
| But this is like that's what he wanted to do. | ||
| There was a guy in New York City who would get up on stage and he would do all these crazy anti-Semitic conspiracy theories and then he would come in the back of the room and his daughter called him. | ||
| He's like, I'll help you with your homework when I get home, sweetie. | ||
| We were like, well, at least he's a good father. | ||
| He had an anti-Semitic conspiracy. | ||
| Yeah, he would just get up and be like, they're Jews! | ||
| We all thought it was hilarious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
On stage? | |
| Oh yeah, we thought it was so funny. | ||
| It was an open mic, right? | ||
| So we all thought it was so funny because he was crazy. | ||
| So we thought it was funny, but apparently he was a loving father. | ||
| So that's the thing. | ||
| Complexity of people is really interesting. | ||
| There's a lot of people out there that are just, we don't know what animates them. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, people are, you know, and I think... | ||
| I think that criticisms and commentary on people is all valid, but I also think that it's important to not dig too deep and not to be a shithead about it. | ||
| You can mock things, but you see them, give them a hug. | ||
| We always try to mock things in a way that's fun for us. | ||
| Not always fun for what we're mocking. | ||
| It's not fun for the people that are getting mocked. | ||
| Not always, but that's okay. | ||
| I mean, it is what it is. | ||
| Some of them like it. | ||
| Some people don't like it at all. | ||
| Like Caitlyn Jenner had this fucking TMZ video about me recently. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Said horrible things about me. | ||
| I'm like, I get it. | ||
| Did you see her go on Bird Show? | ||
| I made fun of her. | ||
| And Bird has her call the dad. | ||
| And then Bird's father, because he was like a big fan of her. | ||
| Before? | ||
| Yeah, correct. | ||
| When she was a he and she won gold medals. | ||
| So then Burt has... | ||
| Caitlyn Jenner calls the dad and it's like Burt's almost in tears. | ||
| Caitlyn Jenner doesn't give a shit. | ||
| She's like, hello. | ||
| Burt was probably hammered. | ||
| Yeah, Burt was like... | ||
| Burt was like a big moment for Burt. | ||
| Caitlyn Jenner's like, hi. | ||
| She's being a rich cunt. | ||
| Hi. | ||
| Like, who cares? | ||
| It means nothing to her. | ||
| And then, you know, Burt's in there. | ||
| Do you feel weird saying her? | ||
| No, because Caitlyn Jenner to me has never been a gender. | ||
| her she's always been a murderer so it's really I mean, it identifies what you want. | ||
| You're a rich murderer. | ||
| But yeah, that was an interesting one. | ||
| Oh, she's shooting a bow and arrow with a fucking... | ||
| Is that a marshmallow on the end of it? | ||
| Good form, though. | ||
| Really decent form. | ||
| A little tight in the grip. | ||
| Might want to loosen up that front hand. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But she called me transphobic and homophobic and all this stuff. | ||
| Have you met? | ||
| Would you have her on? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| That'd be interesting. | ||
| No, I was just making fun of you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was making fun of you because you were a cultural icon who became the woman of the year six months after being a woman. | ||
| If you don't understand how that's hilarious. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| You became a woman of the year. | ||
| You only have women who have been women for 30 fucking years, and they couldn't be women of the year. | ||
| You were women for a few months, less than a year. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| But you know what it is? | ||
| Certain rich people like that just don't have a sense of humor, and it is what it is. | ||
| It's not only rich people, but certain people like that are just... | ||
| Comedy is like they don't get it. | ||
| It's not for them. | ||
| They're not comics. | ||
| They're in a protected class. | ||
| They're like golf people. | ||
| She's a golf person. | ||
| She's like a golf club. | ||
| She also wants to lean into that protected class. | ||
| And it's not that I hate. | ||
| You can call me transphobic all you want. | ||
| I'm not. | ||
| I'm not homophobic. | ||
| I'm not anything. | ||
| I'm not racist. | ||
| I'm not sexist. | ||
| I'm not. | ||
| But if you're a woman and you're a dingbat, I'm going to make fun of you. | ||
| It doesn't mean I'm a sexist. | ||
| I just call things like I see them, including myself. | ||
| I think she was fair game like those people she killed in Malibu. | ||
| There was one person. | ||
| One person. | ||
| You can't say people. | ||
| That's rude. | ||
| Person. | ||
| Yeah, it's like they. | ||
| But you can't, because they is a pronoun for a single. | ||
| They. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you know. | ||
| Well, they didn't know what they were doing. | ||
| Good for her. | ||
| And I'm pro-killing in Malibu. | ||
| Some people... | ||
| People gotta go. | ||
| People on that PCH gotta go. | ||
| But my point was that I was trying to figure out a way to make fun of something that was kind of sacred. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And that what I did was I made fun of myself so hard that by the time I got to them, it was okay. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I was literally talking to my friend Tim Kennedy, who's a literal killer for the government. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| He's a fucking soldier. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And we were just talking about comedy, that sometimes there's a way to make fun of almost everything. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And it didn't mean that I was saying... | ||
| I don't know if you saw that. | ||
| I had this bit in my 2016 Netflix special called Triggered. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And I had this bit about Caitlyn Jenner. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And the bit was basically talking about my own experiences of living with women. | ||
| All women. | ||
| I remember that. | ||
| And it's like they break you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| The bit was like if my manhood was a mountain of marbles. | ||
| Every day they take two. | ||
| They just steal two marbles. | ||
| You have too many marbles, but you need them. | ||
| Over time, eventually, they just break you. | ||
| And then the bit was that Caitlyn Jenner was living with these crazy women. | ||
| She's always been a woman. | ||
| I'm like, maybe, or maybe, if you live with these fucking people. | ||
| And that's the funny of it, right? | ||
| That was the funny. | ||
| It was a joke. | ||
| But it wasn't transphobic or even homophobic. | ||
| Right. | ||
| The idea was to make fun of things that are cultural, that are in the public eye, that are also sacred cows. | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| That's our job. | ||
| That's the job of people that do what we do is to make fun of things that are tough. | ||
| If it didn't make sense, people wouldn't have laughed. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| I closed with it for a reason. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People, absolutely. | ||
| It worked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| It doesn't mean you hate anybody. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I think that that's the only reason why it works. | ||
| Because if people really think you hate someone... | ||
| Like, if people that love you and that are fans of you, they think you really hate someone, they're like, hey, Tim, like, this is wrong. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's a tongue-in-cheek aspect of it. | ||
| There's a humor aspect of it. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That if we abandon all that, we are fucked. | ||
| Completely. | ||
| If you abandon mocking things, if you abandon humor, if you abandon the ability to make fun, we're fucked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're fucked. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because then you're going to let people develop these narratives and they're going to take over culture. | ||
| And their egos are going to get so crazy and big that God only knows what they do. | ||
| And fucking when they get knocked down, it's good for them too. | ||
| It's very good. | ||
| You've got to become undeniable. | ||
| That's why you've got to get on Clubhouse. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What was that lady who was on Clubhouse all the time? | ||
| Taylor Lorenz in the New York Times. | ||
| Listening to everybody. | ||
| Just waiting for you to say retard and then, you know, but you got to get on Clubhouse. | ||
| But the person that said, she said someone said it. | ||
| Yeah, she didn't say it. | ||
| Explain what happened. | ||
| I believe what happened was I was in the room. | ||
| Somebody said it describing, using the word to describe. | ||
| It's like, they always get in trouble, describing someone else who said it. | ||
| They're describing someone else's edit about themselves. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Talking about Wall Street bets. | ||
| Wall Street bets. | ||
| Taylor Lorenz ascribed it to a guy who didn't say it. | ||
| Because that guy was a critic of her. | ||
| I guess. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Or she was just sloppy and wrong. | ||
| It could have been. | ||
| It could have been. | ||
| How does that person... | ||
| Keep a job. | ||
| It's a great question. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| The New York Times is really not interested in penalizing that type of behavior. | ||
| They're much more concerned with just putting out an ideological point of view over and over again to the point where no one cares. | ||
| But the New York Times used to be so objective. | ||
| They used to be the gold standard. | ||
| They tried. | ||
| No, they were in the day. | ||
| They were better than they are now. | ||
| They were way better. | ||
| They were the gold standard of information. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I think it is everything so weaponized right now that they feel like if they fire her, they're handing her over. | ||
| They're capitulating and they're handing her over to the enemies because they believe they're on one side and then the enemies are on the other side. | ||
| I know nothing about her other than this story that has come across my news feed. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know much about her. | ||
| I mean, she's a reporter who writes about the internet. | ||
| Well, I know about it because Sagar talked about it on Rising on the Hill. | ||
| And, you know, it's maddening. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| If someone is saying something that is incorrect or you're wrongly attributing a quote to someone and then attacking them for that quote, that's not news. | ||
| It's not news. | ||
| And it's a real problem. | ||
| It's a real problem. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you were saying that like these clubhouse sessions, that people just sit in and wait for people to do that. | ||
| Well, she does. | ||
| I don't know how many other people do, but I would imagine that more people would because, you know, the New York Times just ran this article by her, I believe, who said, you know, unfettered conversations are taking place online. | ||
| It was hilarious. | ||
| It's like, what the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| New York Times report on Clubhouse app panned for sounding alarm about unfettered conversations. | ||
| Yeah, so this is Taylor Lorenzo, the retard, the reporter who talked about that. | ||
| She's now saying that unfettered conversations, like how dare people go online and speak freely without moderation. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| In the process, Clubhouse has generated debate about whether audio is the next wave of social media, moving digital connections beyond text, What is cosmic poetry? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But that's the thing about Clubhouse is they'll have a room. | ||
| I think it should be fun. | ||
| First of all, it's invite-only, so you get sponsored to get on it. | ||
| It's not public right now. | ||
| So this guy, Michael Gruen, who's this 22-year-old investor Bitcoin guy, got me on it, just invited me on it. | ||
| He's very smart in the business world. | ||
| So I'll go on and just listen to people talk about things I don't really know much about. | ||
| But then there's a lot of rooms where it'll be like... | ||
| This is Bitcoin Room. | ||
| This room is about how do we... | ||
| And then there's a lot of rooms just about Clubhouse. | ||
| Like, how do we keep Clubhouse diverse? | ||
| Why do you think people have a problem with people talking about things that they might not be accurate about? | ||
| But isn't that... | ||
| Because if you're a human being, if you just enter into a conversation, like this one we're having right now. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You and I could just start talking about energy production, and we don't know jack shit about it. | ||
| I think it's that people have very low opinions of other people, and they think that other people are very susceptible to misinformation. | ||
| And in some cases, they may be correct. | ||
| But there's always this Faustian bargain that you make where it's like, well, okay, does, you know... | ||
| You're never going to stop everyone from getting fooled. | ||
| That's the thing with the QAnon stuff. | ||
| It's like, you can't ban the QAnon stuff. | ||
| Some people exist on Earth to get fooled. | ||
| But they won't stop the flat Earth people. | ||
| That's where, like, when it gets so preposterous... | ||
| When it's so ridiculous. | ||
| Because the flat Earth people, I guess, technically aren't storming the galaxy, right? | ||
| I mean, they can't really... | ||
| There's a limited amount of flatter people can do. | ||
| But before this, before anything happens, look, if you get one schizophrenic that shows up at the pizza place with a fucking rifle, and fires a round off in the ceiling, does that mean you need to delete the whole subject from the internet? | ||
| No, I don't think so. | ||
| At what point in time do you say that this is not just ridiculous, but dangerous? | ||
| Well, I mean, it depends, right? | ||
| It depends on what's going on. | ||
| There's a bunch of people that believe dinosaurs aren't real. | ||
| When do we step in? | ||
| When do we step in? | ||
| Never, never. | ||
| They've got to let these people talk about things. | ||
| And the other thing is, like, I think these people would carry a lot less sway if they were made fun of. | ||
| We just gotta make fun of them and say that they're fucking ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah, ridiculous. | ||
| And retarded. | ||
| And then you go, you can't call them retarded. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But they took down words from us. | |
| That's the problem. | ||
| Right, so then what do you call someone who's a full QAnon? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can and I can. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| For whatever weird reason. | ||
| Whatever weird reason. | ||
| But we're not on Clubhouse at the moment. | ||
| At the end of the day... | ||
| We're on a better platform. | ||
| Yeah, we're on a bigger platform. | ||
| But I want you to come on and do a room. | ||
| I really do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not doing it. | |
| I know, but we should. | ||
| And then the Weinsteins come in, and then we'll have to invite them up. | ||
| Should we do it right after this podcast? | ||
| Should we do Clubhouse? | ||
| Will you do it right after this podcast? | ||
| Do I have to join Clubhouse? | ||
| You have to just join it quickly. | ||
| I sent you a link. | ||
| Didn't Eric Weinstein send you a link? | ||
| A lot of people sent me links. | ||
| Dude, if we did a... | ||
| Naval is the first person to send me a link. | ||
| If we did Tim Dillon, Joe Rogan room on podcast... | ||
| What would we say? | ||
| Anything we could say what we just said here. | ||
| And people would rush into it. | ||
| More for you. | ||
| But I have a few fans as well on there. | ||
| But it would be a massive event. | ||
| Massive. | ||
| It would be massive. | ||
| Seems like a problem. | ||
| Joe Rogan on podcasting. | ||
| Jamie just nodded. | ||
| He said it's a problem. | ||
| It's not a problem. | ||
| He's my confidant. | ||
| Do you really think it's a bad idea? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| That was a nod of like, you're right. | ||
| It could be a problem. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why would it be a problem? | ||
| Because we would say the same kind of shit we're saying right here. | ||
| But we do it in this weird form. | ||
| Yeah, but you could just say whatever you wanted. | ||
| It's Clubhouse. | ||
| You could talk about cosmic poetry. | ||
| Let's do a show on cosmic poetry. | ||
| You don't have to do it, but it's... | ||
| I'm going to have to get high for that. | ||
| Yeah, it's a fun thing. | ||
| We're on it five, six hours a night. | ||
| But that's not good. | ||
| See, I have a lot of other hobbies. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| I like to write. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I get up and work out. | ||
| I don't have time for that. | ||
| I have a family. | ||
| Well, no one's saying that you have to do it all the time, but you, like Elon Musk, one of those guys, you drop in, light it on fire... | ||
| Yeah, but Elon goes on Twitter, too. | ||
| He does a lot of shit that I don't do. | ||
| Yeah, he does a lot of stuff, yeah. | ||
| I don't know how he does all the things he does. | ||
| I think he has a few clones laying around. | ||
| It's very possible. | ||
| Well, QAnon says they've all been cloned. | ||
| It's very possible. | ||
| Maybe they're right. | ||
| They say that Biden's a clone. | ||
| They still think that Trump is president. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They think this is all some sort of... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Correct. | |
| They're waiting for the grand awakening. | ||
| I mean, God bless them. | ||
| Anyone who believes in something that much is happier than I'll ever be. | ||
| It's weird to watch those videos, though. | ||
| They removed them from YouTube, but I used to enjoy them, watching these people that were like, clearly, like, this was the first moment in their life where anybody was listening to them and taking them seriously. | ||
| And they would say, Q says that this is going to happen. | ||
| And they would talk about it. | ||
| It became an industry. | ||
| People made money. | ||
| People sent them Bitcoin. | ||
| People sent them money to talk about Q. Yeah. | ||
| And to break it down and break down the latest drops and break down the latest things. | ||
| Why Q? What is the letter Q? Well, there was a bunch of Anons when it started. | ||
| FBI Anon, this Anon, that Anon. | ||
| A Q Anon just stuck. | ||
| But what does Q stand for? | ||
| Who the fuck? | ||
| I don't even know. | ||
| Q Clearance of the government. | ||
| Q Clearance means it's like above top secret four levels or something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, does it? | |
| Yeah, that's what it means. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Somebody with a Q Clearance is above top secret and that's what it is. | ||
| Oh, it's all fun. | ||
| But it's too dangerous. | ||
| Well, it became dangerous when people wear fucking buffalo helmets and storm Nancy Pelosi's office. | ||
| That's when it got ridiculous. | ||
| Obviously, it was ridiculous before that, but I understand people going, hey, this has gone a little too far. | ||
| Well, that's when people were talking about Trump being dangerous. | ||
| That's when they were right. | ||
| That's when they were right. | ||
| He was dangerous. | ||
| But it didn't appear to be dangerous to a lot of people until the storming of the Capitol, and then they went, Well, no, he had a violent cult of people willing to do almost anything for him. | ||
| That's not great. | ||
| No, it's not the best. | ||
| It's not the best. | ||
| But it's also when you actually incite those people to do things. | ||
| Directing an attack on the Capitol is not the best. | ||
| I don't think he directed an attack, but he definitely left it open to interpretation. | ||
| It was pretty close. | ||
| It was pretty close. | ||
| He's like, they're in there doing what they shouldn't be doing. | ||
| Show strength. | ||
| Show strength. | ||
| Go get him. | ||
| He can't be weak. | ||
| Mike Pence is in there. | ||
| Go hang him. | ||
| He's eating kids. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, he was pretty close. | ||
| It was pretty, you know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They were ready to go. | |
| But, you know, this is a guy that understands reality TV. That was a finale. | ||
| And it was a big one. | ||
| It was a good finale. | ||
| This is a guy that understands. | ||
| Like, he wanted to go out big. | ||
| He went out big. | ||
| I don't think he wanted to go out. | ||
| Well, he didn't want to go out. | ||
| I think he thought that the military and the police and people were going to rise up. | ||
| I really believe he thought it was going to be a crazy storm in the Capitol until there was a new election. | ||
| I think he really believed they were going to overturn the election. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| And that's why he was calling the politicians in Georgia and saying, you can be a hero or a pussy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, he was doing that. | ||
| Just like Andrew Cuomo. | ||
| They all do the same shit. | ||
| They all just call people up and threaten them. | ||
| Well, do you imagine the pressure of being the president and to be hated as much as that guy was when all of your life you've been nothing but loved. | ||
| All of your life. | ||
| And then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, when you're 73 or whatever the fuck you was, you became the president. | ||
| It was also like an amazing practical joke. | ||
| That he started and then became the president. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| He didn't really want to be president. | ||
| He wanted to develop ratings for The Apprentice. | ||
| And then he just became... | ||
| But that's how fucked the country was. | ||
| They were so fucked up. | ||
| People were like, no, we're going to make this guy president. | ||
| Not just fucked, but the whole media system. | ||
| I just read Hate Inc. | ||
| from Matt Taibbi. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he goes into depth about how this started, really, in the 80s with Reagan. | ||
| And where this whole... | ||
| The media developed this sort of industry that was based upon getting people really upset about things. | ||
| And then, of course, with social media and the algorithms of Facebook and all these... | ||
| It became weaponized where people leaned into the things that they hated and then it generated extreme wealth for the people that ran Facebook and all these social media sites. | ||
| And then that became their sort of business model, whether it's CNN or CNBC... You know, CNN's ratings dropped 45% right after Trump left office. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And Fox dropped. | ||
| A lot of them dropped. | ||
| Because, like, it became... | ||
| No, it's over. | ||
| It's boring now, dude. | ||
| It's boring. | ||
| There's nothing left. | ||
| I mean, now it's just like, shut it the fuck down. | ||
| Shut CNN down. | ||
| Make Chris Cuomo go work in an Italian deli. | ||
| These motherfuckers are done. | ||
| Let him help his thug, brother. | ||
| Dude, there's nothing left. | ||
| There's not a thing left for these people. | ||
| Fox News is going to still sell gold coins to elderly dementia patients in between. | ||
| Whatever they're selling. | ||
| Some fucking commemorative pin. | ||
| Apocalypse food. | ||
| A Rush Limbaugh Christmas ornament. | ||
| Whatever it is, just let them fucking do it. | ||
| And let's all go back to living like people. | ||
| Yeah, I like what you're saying. | ||
| Let's hope. | ||
| Enjoy Clubhouse! | ||
| Enjoy Clubhouse! | ||
| Alright, we'll do a quick one after this. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, we'll do this. | ||
| Oh, fuck yeah. | ||
| I'm excited. | ||
| Because this isn't live, so we'll go on Clubhouse. | ||
| Oh, we'll just go on Clubhouse. | ||
| It's going to be great. | ||
| You've got to sign up. | ||
| Yeah, but I don't want that fucking app on my phone. | ||
| Then you delete it right after, Joe. | ||
| I don't trust anybody. | ||
| Delete it. | ||
| And that people are going to come up and they're going to try to be speakers. | ||
| I have multiple phones. | ||
| And you'll tell me you'll go, yeah. | ||
| You're in many phones. | ||
| Yeah, but that's a good idea. | ||
| It's a good idea. | ||
| Oh, I've got three now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I have three levels of A, B, and C. You're A. Congratulations. | ||
| Oh, I appreciate it. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| Very good. | ||
| This is A, B, C. This is everything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
One phone. | |
| The problem with that is they're tracking you. | ||
| Oh, I'm being tracked. | ||
| If they're not tracking me, they're not working. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I said. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what I said. | ||
| They're tracking. | ||
| Sometimes I talk to the phone. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So listen, bitch, I'm about to jerk off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You want to watch? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you say that to me? | ||
| I have one person I talk to on the phone a lot, and we always hear weird noise on our phones. | ||
| We're just like, hey, if you're listening, by the way, this is what we're talking about. | ||
| I was talking to a friend of mine, and I heard, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, in a dial tone. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm like, what am I, in the 80s? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, I've gone on my phone where it's literally... | ||
| Sounds like I hear crackling and it's weird. | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| I don't want to be paranoid, but the week I did the Alex Jones podcast with you, the phone was wonky. | ||
| It was a week before the election. | ||
| Something. | ||
| They're looking for the boogeyman now. | ||
| That's what's interesting. | ||
| They're looking for the next boogeyman. | ||
| Who's going to be the bad guy? | ||
| Who's going to be the next Trump? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Not me, hopefully. | ||
| Hopefully. | ||
| I wonder what's going to happen in 2024. I wonder how this is going to go down. | ||
| Kamala versus Nikki Haley. | ||
| Who's Nikki Haley? | ||
| That's a Republican? | ||
| Yeah, from South Carolina or something. | ||
| What does she do again? | ||
| I don't know, but it'll be Kamala and her. | ||
| Maybe not, but that's my... | ||
| Bet. | ||
| The Republicans put up a woman. | ||
| Democrats put up a woman. | ||
| I think it would be DeSantis. | ||
| I think it would be a guy from Florida. | ||
| Might be. | ||
| I think that, listen, that guy, whatever you want to think about him, if you look at the COVID numbers, he makes a really good point. | ||
| The numbers are not, they opened up fucking everything in Florida. | ||
| Schultz is down there in Florida. | ||
| He said they look at you like a pussy if you have a mask on. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And meanwhile, their numbers aren't elevated. | ||
| Their deaths aren't elevated. | ||
| They're not... | ||
| We don't know the real numbers. | ||
| But Florida, no, we don't. | ||
| They'll... | ||
| I mean, Florida will do it. | ||
| They'll fudge a number, too. | ||
| Yeah, they'll throw you into the fucking lagoon. | ||
| They'll throw you into the lagoon. | ||
| They don't know the numbers. | ||
| The numbers. | ||
| But, yeah, I think it'll be Haley versus Harris. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who knows? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I just want to go back. | ||
| Let's all go back to bed for eight years. | ||
| And then in 2028, when it's like, who knows? | ||
| God only knows what QAnon will be then. | ||
| It'll be Alien Anon. | ||
| I think what's going to save us is something along the lines of Neuralink. | ||
| Something that allows you to legitimately read people's intentions. | ||
| Legitimately understand how a person's thinking. | ||
| So the people that are full of shit, it gets exposed like it's a purple light that appears above their head. | ||
| Well, that's very interesting. | ||
| I think that's maybe one of the only things that's going to save us. | ||
| And I think that we're boxing ourselves into this corner. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And I think that... | ||
| With technology, we're boxing ourselves, right? | ||
| With Facebook and Twitter and this addiction to commentary and input. | ||
| and maybe the only thing that's going to save us from disingenuous people that are using these platforms to express these dishonest opinions, like where they don't really think this way, they're just trying to manipulate people and use these narratives to try to gather attention they're just trying to manipulate people and use these narratives to try to gather attention and like we were talking about before, lean into the love and lean into the attention, lean | ||
| And if there's some sort of revolutionary advance in communication, the same way the internet was, right? | ||
| We didn't see the internet coming. | ||
| The 90s rolled around, and all of a sudden people were on AOL, and meeting up in chat rooms. | ||
| Remember the early days of AOL? There was a lot of fucking kiddie porn that was being distributed through AOL. My friend Barry Crimmins. | ||
| He was like a big advocate. | ||
| Yeah, because he was abused and he was a child. | ||
| He was raped. | ||
| And he talked about it. | ||
| He got them to remove that shit, but they were aware of it and they were keeping it up. | ||
| This is the 90s. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| The Barry Crimmins documentary Bobcat Goldthwait did it, and it is fucking brilliant. | ||
| It's fucking brilliant, and it's scary, because you realize, like, Jesus Christ, this was just 20-plus years ago. | ||
| They were doing this, where they were allowing this stuff to live, and they were like, ah, it's the internet, I don't have to do anything about it. | ||
| Like, you know, you have to stop this. | ||
| Like, these people are being victimized. | ||
| This is child porn. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, and... | ||
| Barry because of his own past, because of his own... | ||
| his history of being raped and abused. | ||
| You know, I fucking loved that guy. | ||
| He was... | ||
| When I started out in comedy, he was the boogeyman in a good way. | ||
| Like, he was the guy that kept everybody in line because he was, like, very politically savvy, very intelligent, and very... | ||
| He hated hacks. | ||
| He hated liars, and he hated joke thieves. | ||
| And he forced them out of comedy, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, he was like the policeman. | ||
| He was like the enforcer. | ||
| Because he was the smart guy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And amongst, like, a lot of, you know, the other guys were smart, too, but they were like, wow, people. | ||
| Like, the Boston comedy scene was filled with guys like Lenny Clark and Don Gavin. | ||
| They were doing coke and fucking drinking shots every night. | ||
| They were animals. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Savages. | ||
| Hilarious, but savages. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And then you had Barry Crimmins, who was this also brilliant comedian, but had a moral compass and an ethical compass and understood the political world in a way that these guys And he was the guy. | ||
| When that guy was nice to me, I was like... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, really? | ||
| I was nervous, man. | ||
| He was the guy I was fucking nervous about when I was starting out in Boston. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you kind of need a person like that in a scene. | ||
| You do. | ||
| But Neuralink is a little scary, too, because you're putting a chip in your head. | ||
| Yeah, but it's all scary, man. | ||
| You got a chip in your pocket. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| You got a thing on your fucking table right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm ready. | |
| Sign me up. | ||
| You're addicted to Clubhouse. | ||
| I'm addicted. | ||
| The way you feel about Neuralink, I feel about Clubhouse. | ||
| I believe that'll save us. | ||
| It might. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| It might. | ||
| It might. | ||
| Probably not. | ||
| All of it might. | ||
| I think we're in this tumultuous period where we're working these things out. | ||
| But I think ultimately we're going to figure it out. | ||
| I've always been an optimist. | ||
| As much as I've been a critic of things, I'm very optimistic. | ||
| I genuinely love people. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| As much as people are mean and people are vicious, I think a lot of that is because they're scared and they're sad and they're angry and they're failures and they don't have their own shit together. | ||
| I think that's what causes people to lash out and lie and attack and all the different things that people do that are so problematic and so... | ||
| They're so gross. | ||
| But I think all that is based on fear. | ||
| If you can give people... | ||
| A low-level, like a micro-dose of ecstasy all the time. | ||
| Just a micro-dose of MDMA. Just enough to be like, it doesn't matter. | ||
| What's important, really? | ||
| These insecurities that keep us clashing with each other, that's mostly what it is. | ||
| If we could just be nice to each other, the real problems of life is... | ||
| They're not as big as we think they are. | ||
| We can work out most other than health, death, injuries, violence. | ||
| Other than those, maybe when I skip the line at Whataburger, I'm doing it out of fear. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're scared to go hungry. | ||
| And I have to evolve to realize that I can't come from that scarcity mindset. | ||
| Whoever that person is that ratted Tim Dillon out, reach out to us. | ||
| Find us. | ||
| Please reach out to us. | ||
| We'll have you on. | ||
| Imagine just like Governor Rabbit. | ||
| It's Ted Cruz! | ||
| It's Ted Cruz! | ||
| It's Ted Cruz and his daughters. | ||
| Ted Cruz and his daughters on the way to Cancun. | ||
| Just wanted a quick cheeseburger. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You piece of shit. | ||
| Fuck him. | ||
| So, are you stuck here? | ||
| No, I'm leaving tomorrow morning, supposedly. | ||
| Hopefully. | ||
| It's 7 a.m. | ||
| You really have a flight? | ||
| 7 a.m. | ||
| Going over to Providence. | ||
| Nice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| Going to Boston. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Listen, I'm glad you're here, brother. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Gonna have fun. | ||
| Thank you, buddy. | ||
| I'm really glad you're here. | ||
| I'm excited to be here. | ||
| It means a lot. | ||
| All right, buddy. | ||
| Goodbye, everyone. |
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