April 21, 2020 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:51:15
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Owen Smith! | ||
| Hey! | ||
| How you feeling? | ||
| I feel good, man. | ||
| I'm excited. | ||
| Cheers. | ||
| Cheers, man. | ||
| Salute. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Salute. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We just tested Owen. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Negative. | ||
| There's apparently been some controversy about this, so just let me let everybody know right away. | ||
| There's no shortage of antibody tests. | ||
| What we're using, there's no shortage of them. | ||
| People saying, why are the people on the front lines? | ||
| It's just misunderstanding and confusion. | ||
| These tests, there's no shortage of. | ||
| I understand some people in some places have a hard time getting access to the test. | ||
| That's not the case here. | ||
| So, I take it upon myself to test everybody as they come into the studio. | ||
| This is not taking away from anybody that's on the front lines. | ||
| It's not taking tests away from any medical workers. | ||
| The tests that they would use for them, particularly, they're using swabs. | ||
| I mean, look, man, those fucking people that are working in those hospitals and the medical workers, those people are legit heroes. | ||
| And if I found out that there was something we were doing that was somehow or another taking away from their ability to be tested, I would never do it. | ||
| So people got upset. | ||
| Apparently, because, well, also people writing articles about things, because there's, you know, it's like it's a hot topic. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they're home, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But I get it. | |
| I get it. | ||
| I'm not hating. | ||
| I'm not mad. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| You know, but when I posted that Donnell and I were rona-free, people were like, someone posted some story. | ||
| Well, here's what's hilarious. | ||
| I'd go out of my way to not read comments, and these motherfuckers are writing stories where they're taking comments from Instagram and using them as quotes. | ||
| Just some random magoo that's posting something. | ||
| One of them said that we were low-key flexing that we had tests. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That's just someone just looking to use the term low-key flexing, and they don't have any place for it. | ||
| So like, I think he's low-key flexing, and he's got a corona test. | ||
| So it's a test that tests you for antibodies. | ||
| And you were laughing at my face the entire time. | ||
| Higher time. | ||
| You're a little nervous. | ||
| You're a little nervous, but... | ||
| There also, there was something that I shared with you earlier today. | ||
| There was a new study that... | ||
| Jamie, see if you can pull up that study. | ||
| It is out of... | ||
| I think it's out of UCLA. Is that what it's out of? | ||
| It's... | ||
| It says early antibody tests indicate far more cases and a much lower mortality rate. | ||
| So they think there's at least 400,000 people have been infected in California. | ||
| So the mortality rate is way, way lower than they previously thought it was. | ||
| At least in California, you know, it obviously varies. | ||
| This is a crazy disease. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense. | ||
| It varies depending upon your physical condition, whether or not you've been smoking, whether or not... | ||
| There's apparently a great benefit to exercising regularly, even while you have it, if you catch it, exercising. | ||
| But then there was this fucking crazy thing. | ||
| What is that guy's name? | ||
| The Fox thing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Put up... | ||
| We'll do the first... | ||
| It's LA Times and it's got the subscription blocker on it. | ||
| Oh, the sons of bitches. | ||
| Here, I'll send you another one. | ||
| There's one on LA.com. | ||
| Oh, I belong to LA Times. | ||
| I can give you mine. | ||
| Look at you. | ||
| I support journalism. | ||
| I do too, but not LA Times. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| It reads like movies. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| I just don't have the time for that. | ||
| Here it goes. | ||
| Early antibody test indicates far more COVID-19 cases, lower mortality rate. | ||
| There's a decrease in the number of deaths. | ||
| The study indicates that there could be hundreds of thousands of people could be infected without knowing it. | ||
| That's what's so weird about it. | ||
| Let me ask you this question, though. | ||
| Can you explain mortality rate? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| The amount of people that get it, how many of them die? | ||
| So if it's a high mortality rate, it's like, you're fucked. | ||
| Right, like Ebola. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Vicious mortality rate. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Rabies, the worst, 100%. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Rabies is like 99.99%. | ||
| The only time, if they catch it before the symptoms set in, you survive. | ||
| You can survive. | ||
| But if they don't catch it before the symptoms set in, like if you just get rabies, you don't get over it on your own. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| You have to get the medication. | ||
| Every black person I know always crosses the street when they see a random dog. | ||
| It's like, living in these communities and people don't have their dog, but you should go, it's okay, he's safe. | ||
| We're like, man, fuck that. | ||
| Dude, I've been bitten by dogs. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| It's like, I'm gonna take your word for this? | ||
| Nobody loves dogs more than me. | ||
| I love dogs, but random dogs. | ||
| You never know what someone did to that dog. | ||
| You never know how people treat that dog. | ||
| And I've had a bunch of sketchy dogs. | ||
| I've had dogs that I got from the pound that were super sketchy. | ||
| That you just knew? | ||
| I came home once. | ||
| One of my dogs killed my other dog. | ||
| Oh shit. | ||
| In my living room, man. | ||
| My living room was a goddamn crime scene. | ||
| I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| It was a little outline of the dog. | ||
| Yeah, I've had some bad experience. | ||
| That was a rescue dog as well. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've had some bad experiences with dogs. | ||
| When I was a kid, we adopted a dog that had distemper, a Doberman. | ||
| And he started like, his eyes were like glazed over and he was just snarling at us, barking at us. | ||
| I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I couldn't. | ||
| I grew up in an apartment, so we couldn't have dogs. | ||
| So I had a cat named Taco. | ||
| My dad gave him to me. | ||
| I went to go visit him in the Bahamas. | ||
| He gave me a cat. | ||
| I think he knew it would piss my mom off. | ||
| So I had a cat growing up named Taco. | ||
| You can bring it back from your... | ||
| Oh yeah, I had a cake back with a cake from the Conliffe Bakery that they have over there and they... | ||
| And a cat. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A cake and a cat. | |
| My mom was pissed. | ||
| See if you can find this conversation, Jamie. | ||
| And it says they're joking, but it also has a question that says that they're joking. | ||
| No, but that's Mediate. | ||
| It says they're joking, right? | ||
| Yeah, every other website is not saying they're joking. | ||
| It doesn't sound like they're joking. | ||
| I think they're trying to come up with some sort of a cover for it. | ||
| But let's play what he said. | ||
| It's John Roberts, who is a correspondent for Fox, and then who is the other guy? | ||
| The other guy who works for the New York Times? | ||
| Doug Mills. | ||
| He's a photographer. | ||
| Okay, so now it says apparently joking. | ||
| It doesn't sound like they're joking. | ||
| Play what it says. | ||
| Let me explain it here. | ||
| John Roberts comes in, and it's going to play an ad before this, Jamie, so kill the volume. | ||
| John Roberts comes in, and when he comes in, he's not wearing a mask, and he tells the other gentleman, you can take the mask off. | ||
| And he tells them about this L.A. study. | ||
| Go ahead, play it here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's up, buddy? | |
| All right, man. | ||
| Where do you go, buddy? | ||
| You can take out the mask, Doug. | ||
| The case fatality rate's like.1 to.3, according to USC. Is it really? | ||
| That's reassuring. | ||
| Everybody here has been vaccinated anyway. | ||
|
unidentified
|
USC and LA County Public Health have come up with a study. | |
| They found that there are 7,000 cases in California, but they really believe that there are anywhere from 221,442,000 people who were infected. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So, that makes it 0.1, 2, 0.3. | ||
| There's a study to give it up, are you sorry? | ||
| Yeah, just give it to that. | ||
| So, it suggests in case you're taller, it's going to be 10. Wow. | ||
| What's your right line with the fluid? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Oh, it was a hose. | ||
| I don't think it was a hose. | ||
| Here's what's weird about that. | ||
| One, that guy says, well, we've all been vaccinated here anyway. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Now, maybe he was joking. | ||
| Maybe he's got a weird sense of humor. | ||
| Long joke. | ||
| It's a weird joke. | ||
| Yeah, weird, yeah. | ||
| Now, they have done some trial vaccines. | ||
| There are some vaccines that are in trial. | ||
| There was a woman in Seattle. | ||
| She was the first person to get tested. | ||
| And I sent this stuff to Matt Staggs earlier today, and he sent something to me. | ||
| There have been several different There's 70 coronavirus vaccines right now that are under development with three in human trials. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So there have been some things going on right now. | ||
| And the first person treated with the coronavirus is in Seattle. | ||
| There's an article about that where she's talking about getting tested. | ||
| But this guy's saying we've all been vaccinated. | ||
| Like, I don't know what that means. | ||
| It's hard to tell. | ||
| People have weird senses of humor, right? | ||
| Like, if you listen to comics, and if you took some of the shit that we say and wrote it down, you'd be like, these are terrible people. | ||
| They're eating babies. | ||
| They're raping old ladies. | ||
| We say ridiculous shit all the time, and we get used to it. | ||
| Maybe they say ridiculous shit, too. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Look where they are. | ||
| Look what they're dealing with right now. | ||
| Right, but the other guy coming in saying you don't have to wear a mask. | ||
| So Roberts comes in with no mask on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It says you don't need a mask. | ||
| Mortality rates, yeah. | ||
| Well, that study's weird, man. | ||
| Because, okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| Maybe. | ||
| I believe the mortality rate is correct. | ||
| I believe that it's way less deadly than they thought it was, but they had to prepare for something that they thought was going to be real deadly, because it's real deadly in Italy. | ||
| But the question is, like, there's so many questions. | ||
| Why is it so deadly in Italy? | ||
| Is it because they're older people? | ||
| Is it because they smoke? | ||
| Why is it so deadly in New York City? | ||
| Is it because they're stacked on top of each other? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Definitely, definitely, definitely that. | ||
| Has to have something to do with it. | ||
| No distancing there. | ||
| Also, okay, so I have an office, and I get Uber Eats. | ||
| And when things started popping, my Uber Eats driver was an older black man. | ||
| He's walking mad close to me. | ||
| I'm like, what's up? | ||
| He goes, black people can't get this. | ||
| It'll be all right. | ||
| And I'm like, whoa, man, what are you talking? | ||
| So I get the thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I'm not going to lie, part of me was like, okay. | ||
| But why am I taking advice from this Uber driver guy? | ||
| Then a personal friend of mine, his dad, who I also know, Black Ski Trip, he started this black ski organization. | ||
| And they went to Idaho, and they came back, and a lot of the—they were older gentlemen, but a lot of them got infected with the virus. | ||
| Two have since passed away from it. | ||
| So their son—it's in the LA Times, it's the first article. | ||
| His son did a day-by-day social media post to try to turn the narrative that, black folks, you can catch this. | ||
| This is what's happened to my dad. | ||
| He was like 61, I want to say. | ||
| And so— So that's why I was very nervous in the face when we took the test. | ||
| It's like I want to have the confidence that that man had walking in the room, but I'm also very... | ||
| I'm more of safe than sorry than the... | ||
| I can't wait to be at that space. | ||
| You can take your mask off. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I need... | ||
| You know, because I have two young children. | ||
| I'm just like... | ||
| I'm just... | ||
| I'm more on the caution side, but I'm not... | ||
| Telling anyone what they should believe or not believe. | ||
| But just for me, I'm just like... | ||
| I'm hearing about what it does to your lungs and how it expands. | ||
| It makes it hard for air to get through when you need a ventilator and all of it. | ||
| What if your lungs collapse, which is what happened to one of these gentlemen. | ||
| And it's just... | ||
| It's a wrap. | ||
| But it is like... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know the specifics of how anything else plays out. | ||
| But I am also hearing stories from the other side of people who... | ||
| Who are like fairly, you know, within my six degrees who are succumbing to it. | ||
| So I'm just like... | ||
| That's great, but I'm not there yet. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Emotionally. | ||
| First of all, anybody can catch it. | ||
| But second of all, I think that if your immune system has any holes in it, that shit gets in. | ||
| And it can fuck you up. | ||
| Look at Michael Yeo. | ||
| Michael Yeo is a healthy guy. | ||
| He's strong. | ||
| He lifts weights all the time. | ||
| He's relatively young. | ||
| I think he's 45. You know, Michael Hill's in good shape. | ||
| He's not overweight. | ||
| Did he catch it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Are you serious? | ||
| Real bad. | ||
| Oh, I didn't know that. | ||
| Hospitalized for a week. | ||
| Said he thought he was going to die. | ||
| He scared the fuck out of me. | ||
| Right. | ||
| When I heard it was him, he was texting me. | ||
| He said, I would call you right now, but I can't talk. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| I was like, wow. | ||
| Yeah, man, because of what it physically does. | ||
| When I was going to the grocery store like that, that's when I was the most horrified because that's when you kind of get a temperature of how everyone is. | ||
| And so when I went early on, people were like, are you six feet away? | ||
| Like people were joking. | ||
| And then there was something happened and people started kind of taking it as serious as people could. | ||
| And... | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I'm just... | ||
| I have a very cautious mind. | ||
| I'm just a safe... | ||
| I'm the most reckless on stage, but anything off stage, I'm like, what's going on? | ||
| Is that the police? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck's going on? | |
| That's hilarious! | ||
| Because you are kind of reckless on stage. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's so funny. | |
| That's funny. | ||
| That's true about you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I never thought about it that way. | ||
| Like, you're like a real safe guy off stage. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| And it's just... | ||
| I've seen... | ||
| It could almost be like a funny movie, right? | ||
| Every time one of my friends go, fuck it, man, I'm just gonna live in the moment. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pow! | |
| What happened to Tommy? | ||
| Tommy gone! | ||
| Gotta be careful out here. | ||
| I mean, it's just like, I have so many just stories or memories from my childhood of people. | ||
| Man, fuck it, you gotta live for now. | ||
| Gone. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So it's just like... | ||
| And I... You know, so I'm back and forth on that moment. | ||
| So when I saw him walk in, that guy looked like he was in shape. | ||
| He worked out. | ||
| And there are a lot of people in Trader Joe's lines like him. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, when you're standing in line, it's like, you don't need to matter. | ||
| Like, those people. | ||
| And it's just like, it's not for me, man. | ||
| I don't know what, I don't want to bring anything home to my young kids. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| So if it was just me in the crib, I would be trying to get last days, puss. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| But I'm married, happily married, so my brain, I'm not, I am super cautious, like, back away! | ||
| Single people are fucked right now, right? | ||
| If you live by yourself in an apartment, you're not allowed to leave, you can't go to work anymore, so you're just sitting in an apartment going crazy. | ||
| Just going crazy. | ||
| You can't fuck anybody. | ||
| Watching all the news outlets. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nope. | |
| If you fuck someone, it better be just one person. | ||
| You gotta be real careful. | ||
| We all go together. | ||
| It's a wrap. | ||
| That's your person. | ||
| It bothers me, the restrictions on personal liberties. | ||
| I think I'm very... | ||
| Here's what I'm happy about. | ||
| I'm happy that so many people have... | ||
| Done the social distancing thing and quarantined and kept away. | ||
| Almost everybody I know. | ||
| Almost everybody I know is just staying home. | ||
| My kids are home doing homeschool. | ||
| All my friends' kids are home doing homeschool. | ||
| They're staying home from work. | ||
| Everyone's staying home. | ||
| And we don't go anywhere. | ||
| You know, I come here, I go home. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's my life. | ||
| Just stay put. | ||
| Stay put. | ||
| Just let the fucking dust settle. | ||
| It's great in that way. | ||
| But it's also scary for all these fucking people that have businesses. | ||
| It's scarier for people that have compromised immune systems. | ||
| Oh gosh, yeah. | ||
| This is the weirdest time of our lives. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think, but we were talking earlier, I think that the planet needs this break. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because as soon as we stayed in for like a week, it started raining in L.A. The skies are clear. | ||
| The skies are clear. | ||
| Do you see L.A. has the best air quality in all of the world? | ||
|
unidentified
|
And her. | |
| Just stay in the house for... | ||
| For three weeks, it all fixes itself. | ||
| It's kind of crazy. | ||
| It is weird, man. | ||
| I'm curious to see what happens on the other side of this. | ||
| Our industry, because you had a tour that was supposed to pop off, that kind of stuff is just like, fuck. | ||
| I had a sold-out show in Vancouver last night in an arena. | ||
| Couldn't do it. | ||
| We moved into October. | ||
| Look, that's the last of the worries. | ||
| My health is fine. | ||
| I'm worried about health more than anything. | ||
| And I'm worried about the economy. | ||
| I'm worried about people like my friend Adam Perry-Lang, who owns APL restaurants, like my favorite steakhouse in LA. He's spending most of his time cooking for hospital workers and bringing food to them. | ||
| So that's giving him a sense of purpose through all this. | ||
| And they're doing like curbside pickup where people can order food online. | ||
| It's an amazing steakhouse, but they might not make it. | ||
| And I was texting with him last night. | ||
| I'm going to get him on the podcast soon. | ||
| And he was saying that for his friends in the restaurant industry, it's so grave. | ||
| It's like everyone is barely hanging on and they might drop off left and right. | ||
| I mean, we might lose half our restaurants. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Did you hear about what happened when they did the small business loan? | ||
| Bruce Chris Steakhouse got it, and none of the waiters got it. | ||
| None of them. | ||
| It just goes straight to the business. | ||
| I think the idea is, look, if you give it to the waiters and the business goes under, the waiters won't have a job when the business comes back. | ||
| So if they keep the business open, the waiters will have a job when everything comes back. | ||
| We just need more. | ||
| We need to figure out, you know, these people have to be able to work, and if they can't work, we've got to figure out a way to sustain them. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Nobody's ever figured this out before. | ||
| Nobody's ever had to do this before. | ||
| They burn through that small business loan shit and like that. | ||
| Yeah, they were saying because it was supposed to be for companies, 500 employees or less, but, you know. | ||
| Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, time to step up. | ||
| What y'all doing? | ||
| How much money would Jeff Bezos have left if he gave everybody $1,000? | ||
| Listen, he would be... | ||
| Everybody? | ||
| Everybody in this country. | ||
| In this country? | ||
| $1,000? | ||
| $320 million. | ||
| He gave everybody $1,000. | ||
| Do the math, Jamie. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| How much is that? | ||
| I'm a moron. | ||
| Is that billions or true? | ||
| Well, it's $1,000 million is a billion, so it would be $300 billion. | ||
| So he'd be broke. | ||
| He'd be broke. | ||
| He'd be broke instantly. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Imagine if he did that and just became a hippie, so he'd give up. | ||
| He'd been an asshole. | ||
| It's like, people don't remember Bill Gates, the old Bill Gates. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| People see Bill Gates now. | ||
| I see Bill Gates now, and I see a guy who's wearing an outfit. | ||
| He wears an outfit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's like he's got a suit. | ||
| It's like Spider-Man. | ||
| Like, he puts on a Spider-Man. | ||
| Like, this is my really nice rich guy thing. | ||
| I've got a sweater. | ||
| Bitch, it's 100 degrees outside. | ||
| Why you got that sweater with a shirt underneath it? | ||
| It's... | ||
| Secretly ventilated. | ||
| Does he ever have a t-shirt on? | ||
| Does Bill Gates ever rock a t-shirt? | ||
| I heard he had a house where... | ||
| When you walk into a room, it recognizes how you like the temperature. | ||
| Like you were a band. | ||
| Yes, you had a clip. | ||
| You had a pin. | ||
| And it would change the temperature. | ||
| It would make coffee that you like. | ||
| And I was like, I was single when I heard about this. | ||
| I was like, I wish I had that. | ||
| Because that's how the girl would know it was over. | ||
| It's cold. | ||
| Change the settings. | ||
| Yeah, you walk in, it changes the artwork. | ||
| It flips over. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| But, I mean... | ||
| Yeah, he called this though. | ||
| We weren't ready for a pandemic like years ago. | ||
| 2015, yeah. | ||
| Well, he set it up. | ||
| He's the mastermind behind it. | ||
| He's like one of the Incredibles, like the bad guy in Incredibles. | ||
| I'm just confused by his outfit because it's like he's dressing up like Mr. Rogers on purpose. | ||
| He wants you to think of him in a different way. | ||
| He's a savage, man. | ||
| He was the most ruthless motherfucker when he was running Microsoft. | ||
| That's why Microsoft got so huge. | ||
| They were take-no-prisoners businessmen. | ||
| Take-no-prisoners! | ||
| But he's pretending like he's, you know... | ||
| I kind of love that shit, though. | ||
| Like... | ||
| When people... | ||
| Because you just have to know how to look for it, right? | ||
| Like, I don't trust anybody that doesn't cuss on stage. | ||
| You know, those motherfuckers? | ||
| It's like, something's going on. | ||
| Right, those are the ones who do freaky shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah! | |
| Ball gags and stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| Oh, look at that. | ||
| He's got a t-shirt there. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| That's a button-up t-shirt with a collar. | ||
| Everything has a collar, though. | ||
| But that's a long time ago. | ||
| That looks like about 15 years old. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a nice crew, though. | |
| Look at that crew. | ||
| Luda's like the Forrest Gump of photos like this. | ||
| He hosted Fear Factor. | ||
| Luda took over Fear Factor after me. | ||
| Where's that connection? | ||
| They offered him a lot of money, and he was like, I'll take it. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Amazing, man. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm a big fan. | ||
| Yeah, I like Luda a lot, man. | ||
| I had a bit about him in my act. | ||
| Yeah, I was in a restaurant he owned, and he was walking through, shaking hands. | ||
| I was like, Luda! | ||
| My friend, Jeremy Rawl, shout out to Jeremy, directed his first video. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Jeremy and I went to college together, and he directed his first two, and it put Luda on the map. | ||
| So I've always been a fan of Luda, and what I like about his career is that he's like... | ||
| He's not somebody you would think of, but when he's in there, you don't mind that he's there. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, when I was watching the Fast and the Furious movies, I was like, all right! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| I wasn't like, Luda! | ||
| Dude, I'm the biggest fan in the world of muscle cars, of those 1960s muscle cars, and I never watched one of those fucking movies. | ||
| Oh, you gotta... | ||
| Just watch it on mute. | ||
| Watch it on mute, man. | ||
| Because you'll get the best of both worlds. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here with all that. | ||
| They're jumping over bridges. | ||
| Yeah, it's crazy. | ||
| 1969 Chargers. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| It's ridiculous, man. | ||
| But yeah, man. | ||
| I gotta thank you, man. | ||
| Since I was here last, you lit a flame under me. | ||
| You challenged me to put notebooks out. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| It's out! | ||
| It's out! | ||
| Yeah, we were talking about last time, folks, that comedians, a lot of us, keep our old, old notebooks. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| It was like three years ago, right? | ||
| Close to it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So three years ago, Owen, you got a hold of me and you said, do you have any old notebooks? | ||
| I'm doing this show. | ||
| And I'm like, oh shit, I saved a bunch of them. | ||
| And I found some from like 1992. Yes. | ||
| And they were so terrible. | ||
| So Owen and I sat in the comedy store and it's fucking ruthlessly embarrassing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| It's so bad how these premises are so awful. | ||
| And so you put it on YouTube now, which is the way to go. | ||
| I'm so glad you did that. | ||
| And so this is available. | ||
| Is it OwensmithTV? | ||
| Is that your YouTube page? | ||
| OwensmithComedy. | ||
| Is it OwensmithTV or OwensmithComedy? | ||
| Yes, OwensmithTV, but we created this page. | ||
| But if you go to OwensmithComedy, that won't come up. | ||
| You have to do... | ||
| YouTube. | ||
| I need your help in fixing that. | ||
| That's confusing. | ||
| If you go to YouTube.com backslash OwensmithTV, you'll get this. | ||
| Or if you just search Owen Notebooks. | ||
| Just go to OwensmithTV. | ||
| YouTube.com OwensmithTV. | ||
| Yeah, and subscribe. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah, subscribe. | ||
| Subscribe, hit the notifications. | ||
| Yes, and that'll help me be able to do more of these. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| How many have you done so far? | ||
| I shot six. | ||
| We put out four. | ||
| And I'm going to release two more coming up. | ||
| So if you subscribe, you'll know when they're coming out sooner. | ||
| I might do something for you guys. | ||
| So you got Neil Brennan, Alonzo Bowden, Eric Griffin. | ||
| Yep, and you. | ||
| Oh, beautiful. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| All my friends. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| It was great because everybody has a different approach to the craft. | ||
| And I didn't know that Eric and Alonzo took comedy classes. | ||
| Did they really? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| And I was like, oh, what? | ||
| Because, you know, man, I'm a snob, man. | ||
| I'm in comedy class. | ||
| I know, me too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| And this guy named Lenny Ostrovich taught Alonzo. | ||
| And Lenny... | ||
| And I heard the name. | ||
| I was like, I know that name. | ||
| Now, I don't know if you... | ||
| If someone, like, kind of does me... | ||
| Kind of foul or whatever. | ||
| I forget about it. | ||
| Like it helps me to just live. | ||
| I don't carry it. | ||
| Good for you. | ||
| I wish I... So I was like, I know that name. | ||
| And then as I'm editing it, I look at him and I go, I know that mother... | ||
| He's a good dude. | ||
| But when I met him, he was running a comedy club called The Fallout. | ||
| It was called The Funny Firm and then it became The Fallout. | ||
| And then it literally fell out like later. | ||
| But I moved to Chicago in 95. And what I loved about The Room is you could perform downstairs... | ||
| And then you would run upstairs and perform. | ||
| And then you'd come back downstairs and do another one. | ||
| So on a Saturday night, you could do six shows because they would do three shows. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Right when they started papering the room and all of that. | ||
| So I went to audition. | ||
| You know how you go, just let me do a guest set. | ||
| He hired me. | ||
| He goes... | ||
| Do the rest of the night. | ||
| I was like, bet. | ||
| At the end of the night, he pays everybody but me. | ||
| And he goes, I got spots for you. | ||
| And I was like, I'm supposed to get some money. | ||
| And like two other comics, Dwayne Kennedy and Ty Phipps, they go, that's bullshit. | ||
| And they gave me some of their money. | ||
| And I never forgot them for that. | ||
| I went home that night. | ||
| I turned on the TV. Dwayne Kennedy, the guy that handed me the money, he's in an episode of Amen playing Halle Berry's boyfriend. | ||
| I was like, who the fuck is this guy that gave me the money? | ||
| But that's like my friend to this day. | ||
| Did he get to kiss Halle Berry? | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whew. | |
| I don't remember. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| He was early on. | ||
| Hit together. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, man. | |
| How many times do you brush your teeth if you got to kiss Halle Berry? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like 80? | |
| 80,000. | ||
| You get mints and breast strips. | ||
| You got Listerine. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, man. | ||
| You checking your pits. | ||
| Young Halle Berry. | ||
| Having friends check your pits. | ||
| Come smell me, man. | ||
| Am I good? | ||
| Am I good? | ||
| Halle, you want to rehearse? | ||
| I know. | ||
| You're going to her room. | ||
| She's so pretty. | ||
| I met her recently at the UFC, and she's got to be like 53 or something like that. | ||
| She looks like she's 35 years old. | ||
| She looks perfect. | ||
| She looks like a perfectly in shape 35-year-old woman. | ||
| I mean, how old is Halle Berry? | ||
| She's got to be over 50, right? | ||
| She's over 50. Dude, she looks amazing. | ||
| She was in John Wick 3. Yeah, she was amazing in that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Amazing. | |
| With the dogs and... | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| She's 53. Dude, just the way she moves, man. | ||
| The way she moves. | ||
| She's so fit. | ||
| So fit. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| And she does a lot of workouts online. | ||
| She's doing a lot of workouts online while all this shit's going down. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Some guy with fabulous long hair. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Some guru character. | ||
| So then we're going to do curls. | ||
| It's like, really? | ||
| It's her partner. | ||
| That's the weirdest thing when a guy and a girl are together and they say, this is my partner. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's my partner. | |
| Are you guys in business together? | ||
| Are you just fucking? | ||
| What is a partner? | ||
| This is my partner. | ||
| A man said that to me once. | ||
| Yeah, I was doing this thing with my partner. | ||
| I'm like, First of all, I think, are you gay? | ||
| Right. | ||
| First of all, even if you're gay in 2020, why aren't you saying my boyfriend or my husband? | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Partner. | ||
| I know it's like... | ||
| But it's a woman? | ||
| You're talking about a woman. | ||
| But you're not in business together. | ||
| You're a partner. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I went on vacation with my partner. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, mmm... | |
| Yeah. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Partner? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You guys have a firm? | ||
| As a married man. | ||
| This is the We Fuck firm? | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, as a married man, I'm like, man, have some courage, man. | ||
| Get in there. | ||
| Get in the game. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stop. | |
| Don't get in the game with everybody. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Some people you gotta live with for a little... | ||
| Yeah, figure it out. | ||
| When people say, I don't want to live with somebody, I just want to get married, I'm like, that's a mistake. | ||
| That is where it happens. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That happily ever after shit is for the movies. | ||
| Where it's real is when you live together. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| And it's little shit. | ||
| It's little shit, man. | ||
| How you squeeze the toothpaste. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That shit over time. | ||
| Whether or not you clean up. | ||
| Whether or not you clean up. | ||
| Whether they ask you to do more things than you ask them to do. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Somebody keeping score or whatever. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Cooks who does dishes. | ||
| Can you load a dishwasher? | ||
| Do they complain about stupid shit? | ||
| Man, I feel like we could talk about this all day. | ||
| All day. | ||
| And then how do you deal with it? | ||
| Because you ain't going nowhere. | ||
| You know what the big one is? | ||
| One bathroom. | ||
| If you only have enough money for one bathroom, you shouldn't be in a relationship. | ||
| Or you gotta really know each other. | ||
| Like you spent so many nights together, like so many weekends together. | ||
| You stay at her place or she stays at your place. | ||
| Want that one bathroom? | ||
| There's a reality when you walk in the bathroom right after a girl takes a fucking rank shot. | ||
| And if it's cold out, then you gotta open up the window and you're like, oh good lord! | ||
| So you're sitting there smelling her shit, freezing. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Trying to take your own shit on top of her shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, no. | |
| We'll do it. | ||
| Y'all not going to make it. | ||
| You need two bathrooms. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| It depends. | ||
| For me, I was like... | ||
| It depends on the chemistry of the person. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's some people that a little thing will set you off and you're like, I can't. | ||
| But then there's other people that you like them so much, that little thing ain't shit. | ||
| No. | ||
| The same thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's some dates I'm sure you went on when you were single where a girl just did one little stupid thing and you're like, this is over. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yes! | ||
| But like, if you really were into her, that same thing, like, ah, whatever. | ||
| She's having a rough day. | ||
| Nah, I was fucked up. | ||
| I'll be like, she fine as hell, but I can't, man. | ||
| I'll be nice to her, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| And then be out. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| There's certain things you just... | ||
| You know, for me, it was people that insult you. | ||
| People that insult you, and then they try to put you down, try to fuck with you a little bit. | ||
| Man up, man up. | ||
| But just like, they're doing it to try to diminish you in some sort of a weird way, and they're not even funny. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, oh, is that who you're into? | ||
| Oh yeah, no. | ||
| But sometimes people grew up like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like their mom and their dad did that to each other, and so they don't know how to behave in a relationship. | ||
| And that's their definition of love. | ||
| What's love like to you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And if it doesn't match what it looks like to you, y'all ain't gonna make it. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah, man, I was all over the place with that. | ||
| I remember I dated this one girl, she smoked a lot of weed, right? | ||
| I didn't mind that, but she also smoked cigarettes. | ||
| So I was like, damn, pick one. | ||
| And I wish it was just a weed. | ||
| So then she was like, I'm going to quit when I'm 30. I'm like, well, you're 27 now. | ||
| I got a way out. | ||
| So I couldn't, like, and then. | ||
| That's a weird number. | ||
| But I was still okay because she was fun. | ||
| This is, like, the closest. | ||
| She was mad fun. | ||
| And then she had, like, student loan financial shit on top of it. | ||
| I was like, I'm out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But real talk, she got it together when she got on the other side of 30. Did she? | ||
| Yeah, we're friendly now, but I still... | ||
| It was a gamble. | ||
| Like, I gotta... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Financial shit. | ||
| That could be her. | ||
| That becomes yours. | ||
| Her debt is your debt. | ||
| They don't tell you that. | ||
| Her debt becomes your debt. | ||
| She was like... | ||
| She was a... | ||
| A serial degree person. | ||
| She had degrees, so her shit was high. | ||
| It wasn't like hundreds of thousands. | ||
| Dude, that is the biggest goddamn scam going. | ||
| Because no matter what happens in your life, you have to pay back those student loans. | ||
| If you owe money to any, you can go bankrupt. | ||
| You can go bankrupt. | ||
| And you don't have to pay back. | ||
| Your business folds, you can go bankrupt. | ||
| But Sallie Mae's like, hey, uh... | ||
| They don't give a fuck. | ||
| You owe student loans, you're paying those. | ||
| After 13, you gotta pay that shit. | ||
| Do you know there's people today that have Social Security docked for their student loans? | ||
| Imagine you're at the end of the game, and your Social Security, they're taking your Social Security to pay off some bullshit debt for a loan that didn't do you any good. | ||
| Because here you are, collecting Social Security, broke as fuck. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they take some of it. | ||
| Depending on it. | ||
| They probably take a good-sized chunk, too. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And you're never going to pay it off. | ||
| You're just going to die. | ||
| And that's going to help you die quicker. | ||
| Because you're going to be thinking about it. | ||
| That's how they get rid of you. | ||
| All day, just at the park, trying to feed the pigeons. | ||
| Damn extra degree. | ||
| Fuck! | ||
| Yeah, man, I paid my shit off. | ||
| I was so happy. | ||
| And I don't really use it. | ||
| I kind of use it. | ||
| What was your degree? | ||
| I was finance, or you say finance, if you have money. | ||
| It was a finance degree. | ||
| And I studied Japanese for like a year. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I was going to go over there. | ||
| And a director named Christine Swanson, she just directed the Clark Sisters movie that came out on Lifetime, did over like 11 million views. | ||
| Her and her husband, Mike Swanson, they were dating at Notre Dame at the time. | ||
| They were like, you should take Japanese. | ||
| They would sit down and look at me and check in with me and just go, you should do this. | ||
| And I would do it. | ||
| So they were like, you should take Japanese. | ||
| And I started taking Japanese. | ||
| And I liked it. | ||
| I really enjoyed it. | ||
| And I learned... | ||
| I was getting these culture classes because I was going to go over there for a year. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And, um, and I was, and I, and I, I'm an asshole. | ||
| So I would like mimic the teacher, but I was literally, but she enjoyed it because I was actually saying it natively. | ||
| So I wasn't being like a, a dick. | ||
| Cause I enjoy, like, I just noticed how she was saying it. | ||
| No one else was saying it. | ||
| So I go, I'm going to just say it like her. | ||
| So she'd be like, um, How well are you good at this? | ||
| I got into it because it's also like it's... | ||
| I was just fascinated by why Japanese literacy rate was so much higher than ours. | ||
| It's because they have three alphabets. | ||
| And so there's hiragana, katakana, and kanji. | ||
| And kanji is what everybody gets tattoos of. | ||
| So I was just fascinated with the art of it and shit. | ||
| What's the difference between three alphabets? | ||
| So katakana is more syllabatic. | ||
| It's like how you speak. | ||
| So I could write your name in katakana. | ||
| I'm rusty, so I could have messed up just now, and I'm also drinking a little scotch. | ||
| What am I drinking? | ||
| Whiskey. | ||
| And so one is per syllable. | ||
| So you can take like American words and write that in Japanese. | ||
| And a Japanese person can go, oh, that's how they pronounce names, right? | ||
| So if your name is, I don't know, D'Artagnan, you could do that in Japanese. | ||
| Who the fuck is named D'Artagnan? | ||
| It's a school with a cat named D'Artagnan. | ||
| They would be like, D'Artagnan. | ||
| Was he a knight? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| But kanji, one kanji could mean several different things. | ||
| So you have to know in the context in which you're using it. | ||
| And I'm left-handed, so I naturally would look at stuff from right to left, and that's how they read. | ||
| They don't go this way. | ||
| So their books go the opposite way. | ||
| So I was kind of like... | ||
| And my son... | ||
| Can't say, like, the letter L right now. | ||
| Everything is W. So I'm like, he's, like, naturally, like, he should be learning Chinese or Japanese now, I think, just because the way his tongue and stuff is forming. | ||
| He'll be like, yeah, well, you know, or... | ||
| And I'm like, we would make fun, you know. | ||
| All kids do that. | ||
| All kids, but I'm like, maybe. | ||
| So, but when I was learning it, I just got really into it because it took, like, a lot of, like, detail to, like, figure it out and it started sticking with me. | ||
| And then I started doing comedy in college and I started, on the weekends, I would drive to, like, Des Moines, Iowa and do a Funny Bone. | ||
| And come back, and they were like, you still want to go to Japan? | ||
| I was like, nah, I know what I'm going to do. | ||
| I found what I was going to do, so I just didn't. | ||
| I never went. | ||
| That's a trip I've always wanted to take and see how much of it comes back to me, because I was pretty good at it. | ||
| And then I started learning Chinese, and Chinese is... | ||
| It's monosyllabolic. | ||
| So like, ni hao ma is hello. | ||
| But if you say, ni hao ma, like that, like I called you a horse. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, it's like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ni hao ma. | |
| Like how you say it is like very specific in how you say things. | ||
| So one is hello. | ||
| The other one is... | ||
| Same thing. | ||
| Ni hao ma is hello. | ||
| But ni hao ma is that way. | ||
| But if I go ni hao ma and like drag it down... | ||
| Well, my kids used to watch Ni hao Kailan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ni hao Kailan. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I think that's hey, hello, Kailan. | ||
| Why ni hao ma instead of just ni hao? | ||
| You can say ni hao. | ||
| And that's the thing. | ||
| You can say ni hao. | ||
| What is the difference between ni hao and ni hao ma? | ||
| That's just what I learned in the class. | ||
| It's like more formal? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, good evening. | ||
| Yes, you learn everything. | ||
| That's the only thing I don't like about learning languages in school. | ||
| You never learn how you speak. | ||
| You always learn how you would write a letter and how you would be grammatically correct. | ||
| So now people are doing these things where you just learn what you need to know. | ||
| I feel like humans, we all say, like, the same 20 pieces of, like, bullshit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| Like, if you could learn that, you could probably learn eight languages. | ||
| If you could just figure out, you know, what's all getting into? | ||
| Is it fun? | ||
| Where the bitches? | ||
| Can I drink? | ||
| You know, but I always, where are the bathrooms? | ||
| May I see a menu? | ||
| What are your pronouns? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And I... I'm they them. | ||
| You're they them? | ||
| Do they have they them in Japanese? | ||
| How do I remember? | ||
| It was... | ||
| My goodness. | ||
| Now I'm going to get reamed because I'm rusty on it. | ||
| But it was like... | ||
| How would I say this? | ||
| They did have it, but it was... | ||
| Honestly, the sentence structure and the way my three-year-old speaks is the way you would structure a sentence in Japanese. | ||
| He won't say the subject and the verb. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| Sometimes he would put the verb last. | ||
| Because he'll be so excited. | ||
| So he'll put adjective, adjective. | ||
| Bottle. | ||
| Great. | ||
| Good. | ||
| You see it? | ||
| And that's kind of like how you would say. | ||
| I'm like, this dude is like... | ||
| In my head, I'm like... | ||
| That's how you would speak. | ||
| So if I was to say something in Japanese, I would say... | ||
| So they would ask, what's my name? | ||
| And I would go... | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| What is my name in Japanese? | ||
| It's not Owen. | ||
| No, it's Odeen. | ||
| No, but I'm talking about Smith. | ||
| It's like Samisu. | ||
| You can't say Owen Smith? | ||
| You can, but it's like Samisu Desne. | ||
| Desne, Deska. | ||
| So that's what Deska, Deska makes it a question. | ||
| And it's at the end. | ||
| So you put that at the end. | ||
| Desne is a period. | ||
| So you would say, so it's like you're saying so it is, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So what would you say? | ||
| So if I go... | ||
| That means it is good. | ||
| I'm asking, is it good? | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Desu. | ||
| And it depends on what part of Japan you are, how you lean into the desu. | ||
| But your name wouldn't be Smith? | ||
| It's Sumisu. | ||
| Sumisu. | ||
| Sumisu instead of Smith. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And so you would write Sumisu in Katakana. | ||
| What if we did that to them? | ||
| You know? | ||
| So they would change Smith because it's Smith, but it's Sumisu. | ||
| How they pronounce it is Sumisu. | ||
| Sumisu. | ||
| Sumisu. | ||
| Smith. | ||
| And Sue is spelled T-S-U. So it's not... | ||
| I think... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm rusty. | ||
| This was over 20 years ago. | ||
| So you would have to change the way your name sounds. | ||
| That's so strange. | ||
| Yeah, Sumisu Destiny would be my name. | ||
| They would ask me. | ||
| Sumisu. | ||
| Yeah, Sumisu. | ||
| Sumisu. | ||
| Make them say Smith. | ||
| Don't give in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Here you go. | |
| This is how they take over. | ||
| This is how they take over. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was intrigued, man. | ||
| The noise that you make that means you. | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
| Two things that opened my mind. | ||
| Learning Japanese, studying it for like a year, year and a half, and economics. | ||
| Learning economics. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How did that help you? | |
| Because it's like a science and it's like a cause and effect. | ||
| And so it's the same way I approach my bits. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's like economy. | ||
| If this happens, then it affects all this shit. | ||
| And it's all tied to the one thing you can't judge, which is human behavior. | ||
| Right? | ||
| So you don't know what people are going to do. | ||
| And people try to control it all the time. | ||
| Because it has direct effects on the stock market and how you can make money and shit. | ||
| When the coronavirus dropped, I was like, this is going to fuck up all these things. | ||
| And then seeing how people react to all these things being taken away fascinates me. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| But that is what economics is. | ||
| Because when you're thinking about stuff, you always go, well, what if a pandemic happened? | ||
| Well, our system, where are the holes in our current system? | ||
| But when people are just being intellectuals about it and just, like, talking about it, it sounds boring, and you're like, but when this shit is happening in real time, you're like, this is what economists talk about all the time! | ||
| It's like, it's if this, then what? | ||
| But it's just a deeper thing, and so it's the same kind of way when you take a bit, where you just go, what if I'm talking about... | ||
| There's anything. | ||
| You just go... | ||
| I'm at home, so I was watching something where... | ||
| Oh, my son loves this cartoon called... | ||
| What's the name of this cartoon he watches? | ||
| Blaze. | ||
| It sounds like they... | ||
| But it's Blaze and the Monster Machine. | ||
| And they had, like, this one... | ||
| The episode is a giant meatball rolling down the town, destroying the town. | ||
| And they had this one... | ||
| I was clearly, like, black rollerblading, like... | ||
| Monster truck with an afro going, get down, get groovy, get down, get meatball, meatball. | ||
| And then the meatball rolls over him. | ||
| My son loves that, right? | ||
| So what I do with him is now I pretend... | ||
| That that guy was on the phone with somebody else. | ||
| And I'm like, hey, Steve, what you doing? | ||
| I'm just rollerblading. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get down. | |
| And then, so now my son does it. | ||
| I'm like, get a meatball, Steve. | ||
| No, Steve, get out of there! | ||
| So then we pretend that we have to break the news to Steve's family that he got ran over by a giant meatball. | ||
| So then we pretend that... | ||
| How old? | ||
| Your son is how old? | ||
| My son is three. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| But then we pretend that we work with Steve and he's about to go rollerblading for lunch. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So it's just, it's the economy of, Steve, where you going rollerblading? | ||
| I'm You know, that's kind of played. | ||
| Nobody does it. | ||
| Ah, you know, it's nice outside. | ||
| And then he gets pummeled by the meatball. | ||
| So it's like, everybody who knew Steve, how did he feel about Steve? | ||
| So that's kind of like what... | ||
| The ripple effects. | ||
| It's the ripple effects. | ||
| And that's kind of like how I would think of bits in my head sometimes. | ||
| Are you paying attention to how economists are looking at the future? | ||
| Sometimes. | ||
| Like right now? | ||
| I mean, I don't even... | ||
| I haven't read any prognostications other than it's bad. | ||
| It could be like the Great Depression. | ||
| Yeah, all of that is true. | ||
| I mean, where I get lost is when they just start talking about injecting money and fixing things with money. | ||
| I'm not... | ||
| I'm lost on that. | ||
| I'm more... | ||
| Into the personal, what happens to us? | ||
| I'm fascinated with that shit. | ||
| The human nature of what's going to happen. | ||
| How are things going to change on the other side of this? | ||
| Are you going to shake hands? | ||
| How many people are going to keep wearing masks? | ||
| Keep wearing masks. | ||
| I had a classic racial thing happen to me yesterday. | ||
| I was with my son, three years old. | ||
| And this guy was working out with his shirt off in the park. | ||
| This is this big guy. | ||
| He looked kind of like ridiculous. | ||
| You said weights? | ||
| Yeah, he had two dumbbells, no shirt on. | ||
| In the park? | ||
| In the park, just doing these dumb workouts. | ||
| Me and my son see him, but my son, he knows about the social. | ||
| My son is three, man. | ||
| He's on his little scooter. | ||
| I'm on my bike to keep up with him because he's fast as hell. | ||
| And then when we're coming back, I'm walking my bike and my son has his scooter. | ||
| And we see there's like either BMW or Audi. | ||
| We see the lights go on. | ||
| And I don't think anything of it. | ||
| Then I look and it's the guy and he's like doing it like right in front of us. | ||
| Like, you know what I mean? | ||
| So it's classic. | ||
| Like, does he think I'm going to break into his car with my son or... | ||
| Like, you had all day to lock your car, man. | ||
| Like, you could have just done it when you didn't see us. | ||
| And so, like, a part of me was like, why are you doing... | ||
| He was, like, doing it so I could see he was doing... | ||
| You know what I'm trying to say? | ||
| Like, I'm walking, and he's, like, literally, like, locking his door. | ||
| And to me, it felt like... | ||
| Because I had on a mask. | ||
| I had on a mask. | ||
| And I was reading stories about how most black folks are afraid to wear masks because we look like, yo. | ||
| So a part of me was like, I'm scared of this motherfucker. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| But a part of me was like, word with my son. | ||
| I was like, do I engage with him? | ||
| Or do I let it go? | ||
| Like, what do you do? | ||
| And I let it go because I was with my son. | ||
| And it just felt ridiculous. | ||
| But I feel like we're reverting back to like... | ||
| Those paranoid things too. | ||
| Like, oh man, black dude in a mask. | ||
| You know, like my thing. | ||
| And it was like a... | ||
| I was like, what point would I prove in... | ||
| I'm not going to change them. | ||
| You know, what do I do? | ||
| So I just... | ||
| My son didn't even see it. | ||
| I would not have seen it if he wasn't so just like clumsy and odd with it. | ||
| Like it just felt like... | ||
| Because we had passed him several times. | ||
| He could have locked his car when we were gone, you know, just done it and just kept it moving. | ||
| But it was like an obvious... | ||
| So he was like letting you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| That's what it felt like to me. | ||
| I think people are losing their minds. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I think that's a lot of what's happening. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Their behavior patterns are all off because they're so under duress and stress. | ||
| You know, there's a lot of people that are acting real strange. | ||
| Sometimes, you know, I'll call people up, just say hi. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, like, how you doing? | ||
| You hanging in there? | ||
| And a lot of people just seem real weirded out. | ||
| You know what it gets me, man? | ||
| Is at night. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Gets me at night. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because during the day, I'm like, everything's... | ||
| Fucked up, but, you know, we're maintaining. | ||
| I have faith in human nature. | ||
| I have faith in society that will pull together, but at nighttime, I don't have any fucking faith. | ||
| Must be not performing either, man. | ||
| Does that? | ||
| I don't have any outlet. | ||
| There's definitely that. | ||
| But it's also at night, there's something about the darkness where I'm like, I just, you know, I do a lot of my really fucked up thinking when everyone else in my house is asleep. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I can relate, yeah. | ||
| That's when I spark up. | ||
| That's when I write my best shit, too, is when everyone's asleep. | ||
| So when everyone's asleep, I'm sitting around thinking like, man, what if this keeps going sideways? | ||
| What if we get a solar flare? | ||
| What if the grid goes down? | ||
| What if the earthquake hits? | ||
| What if the fucking volcano under Yellowstone blows? | ||
| What if this? | ||
| What if an asteroid hits? | ||
| What if a worse disease catches on? | ||
| What if there's a war between us and China over this bullshit? | ||
| There's a crazy letter that Germany wrote to China yesterday. | ||
| Crazy! | ||
| The head of Germany wrote some letter directly to the head guy in China talking about the only reason why you're in power is because of surveillance and what have you done to the world. | ||
| What you guys have done because of your disgusting pride and you've hidden the facts from people. | ||
| You've tried to distort the reality and because of that hundreds of thousands of people are going to die. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| It was deep. | ||
| I was reading this letter. | ||
| Like, you never read a letter like that where a one world leader is shit, not another world leader. | ||
| It was the editor of a newspaper, it says. | ||
| Was it? | ||
| Oh, it wasn't Angela. | ||
| No, wasn't there a head guy in... | ||
| Oh, the head guy in Germany is a woman, right? | ||
| Yeah, Angela Merkel, right? | ||
| Who is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Editor of a prominent German newspaper. | |
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Well, whoever that person is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Julian Reichelt. | |
| Say it again? | ||
| Reichelt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Reichelt. | |
| Yeah, okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's a T on the end there. | |
| Yeah, but whatever, the articles. | ||
| It's right. | ||
| It's correct. | ||
| You know, because they... | ||
| China never they don't admit any fault ever whenever anything goes wrong They cover everything up and there's so many people that criticize the government in China. | ||
| They just wind up getting ghosted They just disappear. | ||
| They've vanished. | ||
| Yeah, they'd never hear from them again. | ||
| No one knows what to do I mean, that's that's how they run things over there. | ||
| What scares me is that and we give into that kind of like they have apps on their phone and Right now that give them a social score. | ||
| You know, so like if you jaywalk, you lose points. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I've heard about that. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And the guy, yeah, some guy said his social score is really bad. | ||
| And people, it's almost like Minority Report. | ||
| It's almost like Black Mirror. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, like that. | ||
| It's scary. | ||
| And if we give into that kind of surveillance over here. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's a real dark end to all that stuff. | ||
| There's a real dark end. | ||
| The bright side is like, oh, well, maybe everybody will keep their shit together and be nice. | ||
| Or maybe the government will be watching every goddamn thing you do all day long and hold that over you. | ||
| And then they'll use that in order to gain more political power. | ||
| That's just as possible and more likely. | ||
| Or if your social score is like manipulated or wrong. | ||
| The downside is a lack of freedom, and that's the whole reason why the United States is so innovative. | ||
| The whole reason is this... | ||
| We have this spirit over here, this spirit of freedom, that we can do more. | ||
| We can get more shit done. | ||
| We can come up with ideas. | ||
| We celebrate this sort of creative spirit that we think of when we think of the United States. | ||
| We think of freedom, we think of creativity. | ||
| There's so much innovation done over here. | ||
| The moment you start clamping down on people and taking away freedom, you're also going to take away that creativity. | ||
| You're also going to take away that innovative thought mentality. | ||
| You're going to make people scared. | ||
| And you're going to do it just so that you can control them. | ||
| And it's the worst. | ||
| One of the things about the United States that makes it so great is that we have the ability to criticize our government. | ||
| We have the ability to talk shit. | ||
| And that keeps people in check. | ||
| Even Trump, as much as he hates it, he has toned down a lot of his rhetoric because of the criticism that he's faced. | ||
| And it's important. | ||
| It's very important. | ||
| That's one thing, this virus is making everybody have to do their job. | ||
| You realize a lot of his people were like... | ||
| Acting in positions. | ||
| They weren't really... | ||
| I don't know if you were truly vested if you're acting in it, but it's making everyone have to actually do their job. | ||
| I wonder if he would do it again, all over again, if he knew how hard it would be and how much he would get shit on. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think it was so funny. | ||
| What he presented to me was like It was like the hot new nightclub. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And everybody was in there. | ||
| It was like a nightclub and you could pretend to be who you want to be. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Watered down expensive drinks and it's just all happening. | ||
| Then the coronavirus comes and that's like when the lights come on in the club and you get to see how fucked up shit really is. | ||
| And so, because when the whole country just kind of like said, all right, we're going to go with Joe Biden, regardless of how lucid you feel he is or how sharp you think he is, when the whole country was like, we're just going to go with Joe, it just made me think like Trump is like a fancy, a nice resort, like hotel. | ||
| Like who doesn't want to stay in a nice hotel, right? | ||
| He's like, I'm rich, I'm this. | ||
| And everyone's like, I want to do that. | ||
| But after a while, you get tired of spending $21 for internet and $40 for pancakes, and you just want to go home. | ||
| And Joe was kind of... | ||
| It felt like he represents home. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Really? | ||
| I feel like people... | ||
| Joe Biden, to me, feels like a schoolhouse in a third world country that's going to collapse and kill all the kids. | ||
| A schoolhouse? | ||
| Like a schoolhouse that is made by people who skirted all the rules of construction. | ||
| He's an old dude with dementia. | ||
| But I think he's going to be propped up by so many... | ||
| Different people who are going to behold him. | ||
| Like, President Obama's gonna come out and endorse him. | ||
| If President Obama wants to come out and take over, okay. | ||
| But if he doesn't, you got Joe Biden, who's the leader of the country, who can't form sentences. | ||
| Listen, man, there's 320 million people in this country. | ||
| You're telling me that's the best the Democratic Party can do? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Well, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| What I'm saying is, I feel like to everyone, he represented home. | ||
| That's what I'm saying, because he's familiar. | ||
| He was standing next to the guy that we all felt more comfortable with, especially in situations like this. | ||
| Did you see Obama's endorsement video? | ||
| I didn't. | ||
| It was straight up gaslighting. | ||
| It's just gaslighting. | ||
| He's pretending. | ||
| Can you put it up? | ||
| You can find it. | ||
| I don't know if we can play it. | ||
| Is it long or is it? | ||
| It's long enough. | ||
| He doesn't believe a goddamn word he's saying. | ||
| He has to say it. | ||
| Look, he knows Biden is doomed. | ||
| He knows he's doomed. | ||
| So you think he's going to lose. | ||
| It's not a matter of whether or not I think he's going to lose. | ||
| I do think he's going to lose. | ||
| But even if I thought he was going to win, he shouldn't do the job. | ||
| There's no way he can take the pressure of that position with the cognitive decline that he's already showing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But... | |
| There's no buts. | ||
| You just want the Democratic Party to be back in control. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| It makes sense. | ||
| No, I wish... | ||
| Listen, man, I wish... | ||
| Like I say, man, when you're in a nightclub, you don't care how stuff's going down, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But when you come out... | ||
| I don't understand this nightclub analogy. | ||
| You don't understand the analogy? | ||
| Damn, I'm trying to give you an example. | ||
| To me, just the way that Trump is handling... | ||
| I mean, any kind of criticism, anything, it's unsettling. | ||
| It's like, dude, just calm down, man. | ||
| Like, you got the gig. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| You're in charge. | ||
| It's kind of like I was talking to Keith Robinson. | ||
| He had this amazing point. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It just made me laugh. | ||
| He said, there should be some type of test you have to pass to become president because... | ||
| For any other thing, you have to take a test. | ||
| So you have to have degrees or whatever. | ||
| But to be in charge of everybody else, you don't have to. | ||
| All you have to do is win a popularity contest. | ||
| All you have to do is win a popularity contest. | ||
| And you're in charge. | ||
| And you control the nukes. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| And it's like a backwards thing. | ||
| And so that guy who's in charge of everybody else... | ||
| It's like, man, I just wish he didn't call so much, just wasn't the way he was, you know what I mean? | ||
| I wish he could just take the gig seriously. | ||
| The thing is, that's who he's always been. | ||
| That's my point. | ||
| And he hasn't changed at all once he got into office, and people did expect him to. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's always been the guy that if anybody says anything about him, he talks mad shit about that person, whether it's Rosie O'Donnell or whoever it is that he's been in feuds with. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He's never lied to you. | ||
| And so it's like you respect all of that, but it's just like in times like this when it requires some empathy, when it requires you to look in the camera and say, I feel for the people that are dying, not... | ||
| Give me credit. | ||
| It's like, don't do the give me credit stuff now. | ||
| Give me credit stuff is ridiculous. | ||
| It's like, come on, fam. | ||
| And so I feel like, so what I'm saying is, I feel like having Joe come up there and play those notes, it feels like people, how everyone just all of a sudden overnight goes, Joe Biden's our guy. | ||
| It felt like everyone was like, I just want to. | ||
| I think it's like when Mariah Carey was on Pills and she couldn't sing the national anthem because she forgot the words. | ||
| Dude, there's no fucking way, man. | ||
| That guy can't be president. | ||
| He can't talk. | ||
| He can't hold a sentence. | ||
| You give him a couple minutes on CNN and he can't keep it together. | ||
| What is he going to be like after a year in office dealing with international politics, the economy, the environment, all these different things? | ||
| But what I'm saying is he's going to have... | ||
| People. | ||
| So did Obama, but look how old he got. | ||
| How quickly. | ||
| And Obama's brilliant. | ||
| Obama's a brilliant, articulate guy. | ||
| He started getting gray hair. | ||
| His skin started sagging. | ||
| Yes, because he was actually reading the memos that came through. | ||
| He was actually going, this shit is crazy. | ||
| Right, that's my point. | ||
| My man Trump hasn't aged, man. | ||
| Right, but if Biden starts reading those things, he'll be dead in a week. | ||
| And then who's going to be the vice president? | ||
| Elizabeth Warren? | ||
| Who are they going to put in there? | ||
| No, they're probably... | ||
| I don't know who they're going to pick. | ||
| They said he wants to pick a woman of color. | ||
| He said a woman of color for the Supreme Court. | ||
| Oh, is that what he said? | ||
| I thought he said for the Vice President to pick. | ||
| He should. | ||
| Should he? | ||
| Or should he pick the best person? | ||
| He should pick the best person who will probably be a woman of color. | ||
| Why would it be a woman of color, though? | ||
| The most... | ||
| Would it be because they're underrepresented and it would be a good thing for the country? | ||
| Or would it be a good thing for the country because it's the best person for the job? | ||
| Both. | ||
| The best person for the job, I feel, could be a woman of color. | ||
| And the best person for this country could also be a woman of color. | ||
| It could be. | ||
| Because a lot of policies kind of stop before consulting with people of color. | ||
| And a woman of color can see... | ||
| Hey, well, we're leaving out this group. | ||
| Let's figure this out. | ||
| But what if it's a male of color who's better qualified for the job? | ||
| But that's my point. | ||
| What are the qualifications for this job is what I just said. | ||
| There's no test you have to take. | ||
| It's just a popularity contest. | ||
| Well, if that's the case, then the only reason why a woman of color would be would be what? | ||
| Why would you want a woman of color? | ||
| I think everyone would just feel better if there was a woman of color in charge. | ||
| I feel like... | ||
| What did Chelsea Handler say when she did her whole thing? | ||
| Remember, she just did a whole thing about something on Netflix, and she went on Ellen and said, we need to start listening to women of color. | ||
| It was like, yeah, you probably should. | ||
| I think... | ||
| I'm not the right person to be talking about this, but I feel like, you know, they say Stacey Abrams is in the running, and I don't think she'd be a bad choice. | ||
| But I've watched how she just puts things in context, and she is very smart, very sharp, and she is not thrown, like, she would be extremely qualified. | ||
| Well, I'll tell you who could actually be president. | ||
| Who? | ||
| Michelle Obama. | ||
| She's not going to do it. | ||
| She's not going to do it. | ||
| No. | ||
| But if she wanted to do it, she could be president. | ||
| Why do you think she could do it? | ||
| First of all, she's brilliant. | ||
| She's articulate. | ||
| She's well-known. | ||
| She's a powerful person. | ||
| She speaks really well. | ||
| She obviously was for two terms, she was the first lady. | ||
| So she's accustomed to the public eye. | ||
| She's accustomed to speaking publicly. | ||
| Dude, if she stepped up and decided she would run for president, I think she'd win by a landslide. | ||
| Because it's a popularity contest at this point. | ||
| Maybe not beat Trump, I should say, but win the Democratic nominee by a landslide, I really think. | ||
| You think she would lose as well, though? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know how it works. | ||
| It's complicated, right? | ||
| And especially when you're dealing with electoral college. | ||
| Like, look, Trump lost the popular vote, but he won the electoral college vote. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that's why they say Joe Biden was the best bet, because Joe Biden, so Pennsylvania is a swing state, and Joe Biden is the only person out of the Democratic nominees who did not say he was against fracking. | ||
| He was like, you can't do it all at once. | ||
| And then they had the clip of the fracking protest, and he was like, go vote for somebody else, man. | ||
| Joe was like, go vote for somebody else. | ||
| And so... | ||
| Trump, they were saying that Trump does not feel like he can beat Joe in Pennsylvania, because that's where Joe's from. | ||
| And he also supports, he has an in with, you know, the coal miners and the fracking industry, just like, you know, Trump. | ||
| So when it comes to those Electoral College votes, Trump knows he can't beat him. | ||
| That's why, hence the whole Ukrainian, get some dirt on him, just announce something's happening type thing. | ||
| That was kind of like the narrative of that. | ||
| And so when it comes to electoral votes, that whole Midwest game, that whole Michigan, Michigan, Biden is right there. | ||
| And that's what I'm saying. | ||
| I don't know if he is, man. | ||
| I don't know what's going to happen once people start hearing him talk on the campaign trail. | ||
| But I don't know how brilliant or articulate Trump is. | ||
| It's not a matter of brilliance. | ||
| It's a matter of being able to control crowds and have these exciting rallies. | ||
| He does arenas, dude. | ||
| He does sold out arenas and he kills. | ||
| Listen, I'm just looking at it objectively. | ||
| I know you want a Democrat to win, right? | ||
| And you want a woman of color to be the vice president. | ||
| You want Biden to win. | ||
| I would love that. | ||
| I would love for... | ||
| I'm not saying... | ||
| I would love for things to feel like they're... | ||
| I don't want to say back to normal, but I would just love to feel like... | ||
| They're not the way they are right now. | ||
| That is not like, that was a horrible question. | ||
| That's a nasty question. | ||
| It's bad in those ways. | ||
| But what I'm talking about is his ability to excite his base and the ability to get people behind him. | ||
| He's an unprecedented ability. | ||
| And depending upon how he handles this coronavirus crisis, it could swing left or right. | ||
| It really depends entirely upon who Biden picks. | ||
| Because you remember when George W. was president, it really was like President Dick Cheney. | ||
| Dick Cheney was in that fucking vampire underground bunker, getting fresh blood pumped into him every day. | ||
| Calling all the shots. | ||
| Do you remember there was one point in time where Cheney was consistently in the bunker? | ||
| He was in the bunker for like weeks at a time. | ||
| They even told us he was in a bunker, but just in case anything happens. | ||
| Like, why isn't Bush in a fucking bunker? | ||
| He's the president! | ||
| Dick Cheney was out there calling the shots. | ||
| It was one of the most transparent times when you see the connection between industry and government where you have a guy who was the former CEO of Halliburton, a company that rebuilds countries after we blow them up, getting no-bid contracts to rebuild a country that we blew up while he's making the decisions to blow up these countries. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| And you couldn't stop it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But if someone comes along, and some powerful speaker, someone who you really... | ||
| I mean, there's several choices, apparently. | ||
| And if they pick someone, and I'm sure they're grooming someone right now, who you get excited about, you go, okay, this person could step up if Biden lost, or if Biden lost it, or if Biden died, which is also possible. | ||
| Bro, there's a photo of him that was on the New York Times yesterday where you could see where they gave him the fucking facelift. | ||
| He's talking and his skin is unnaturally pulled up and back. | ||
| It's like, oh Christ, man. | ||
| Maybe 20 years ago. | ||
| Maybe 20 years ago, but not now. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| Hey, man. | ||
| All I know is like when he was talking about all the stuff he would have done if this crossed his desk. | ||
| Like, you know, and just having an awareness of how the government works. | ||
| Like what? | ||
| Well, the, what was it, the Pandemic Agency was closed down. | ||
| And what I love about Trump, he was honest, he was like, man, ain't nobody thought this was going to happen. | ||
| Like, he literally, he just said it. | ||
| So he was like, get rid of him. | ||
| But... | ||
| Then there's all types of protocols and you find out where the money is for this. | ||
| Joe had just a knowledge of where all that stuff was. | ||
| And I feel like Trump talks to his lawyers. | ||
| Like, what can I do? | ||
| What can I do? | ||
| And he just goes... | ||
| Then he takes his stance based on what he has known he's going to be protected legally, and he doesn't equate that he's president of all of us. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So I just feel like that's what's missing, and he is incapable of doing that. | ||
| I know when Pence had the mic... | ||
| And Pence was getting popular. | ||
| It ate at Trump. | ||
| And he was like, man, let me come and do these. | ||
| How does that guy get popular? | ||
| How does, first of all, you want to talk about a vice president? | ||
| I don't know what that guy's voice sounds like. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, well, people were just happy to hear somebody not yelling back at people. | |
| He was like, we're going to have that by the end of the week. | ||
| Did you ever see there's a woman who has one of them pink pussy hats on? | ||
| And there's a bunch of people that are yelling, impeach Trump, impeach Trump. | ||
| And she's running like, yay, President Pence, President Pence. | ||
| And they're like, what? | ||
| Like, yeah, if Trump gets impeached, then Pence becomes president. | ||
| She's like, yeah, maybe we should not impeach him. | ||
| And they're like, yeah, maybe. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, that was so funny. | ||
| It's become so emotional, right? | ||
| And I feel like Trump's a businessman, so he's not approaching this. | ||
| Any emotion. | ||
| It fucks with people because they're like, yo, you know. | ||
| Well, the good thing that he did was block travel from China. | ||
| That's a good thing. | ||
| It probably saved thousands of lives. | ||
| It really did. | ||
| And a lot of people are saying you're crazy for doing that. | ||
| But there's also so many fucking people that are pointing fingers. | ||
| But then they're also saying that he actually didn't. | ||
| They were saying that people were still coming from China. | ||
| So... | ||
| What do you mean he actually didn't? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I just heard... | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| I was saying conflicting... | ||
| No, they definitely blocked travel. | ||
| He blocked travel, but they were saying people were still coming. | ||
| Well, maybe some people had loopholes because of diplomatic reasons or business reasons or whatever, but they did. | ||
| Look, man, there was a video that Eddie Bravo had on his page of Nancy Pelosi in February telling people to go out and go to Chinatown. | ||
| There's no worries. | ||
| Just go out and mingle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, shit. | |
| And then they confronted her. | ||
| Chris Wallace confronted her on Fox News, and she was just... | ||
| Bullshitting her way out of this while she was blaming the president. | ||
| Look, everybody got this wrong. | ||
| Everybody got it wrong. | ||
| Everybody did. | ||
| 430,000 people have traveled from China to U.S. since the coronavirus surfaced. | ||
| But the coronavirus surfaced. | ||
| I think this is just an article about... | ||
| Yeah, I understand the article is recent. | ||
| But this is an article about when the coronavirus surfaced, which was in January. | ||
| That's just letting people know how many people... | ||
| Surfaced here? | ||
| Made it over to America. | ||
| But that's not how many people came to America. | ||
| This is since Chinese officials disclosed the outbreak on New Year's Eve. | ||
| Two months after President Trump imposed restrictions. | ||
| 40,000 is a lot, man. | ||
| 40,000 since the President's imposed restrictions. | ||
| So what kind of restrictions were those? | ||
| The bulk of the travelers who were of multiple nationalities arrived in January at airports in Los Angeles, San Francisco, New York, Chicago, Newark, and Detroit. | ||
| All places fucked by coronavirus. | ||
| Oh, hot spots, baby. | ||
| So it's like, what are you talking about right now? | ||
| They flew directly from Wuhan. | ||
| Have you seen all the shit that points to the fact that this came from a lab? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, yeah. | |
| You know what's so funny? | ||
| I was talking to... | ||
| I can't say what I'm saying. | ||
| But they were like, this was a chemical thing that just got out of hand. | ||
| They were like, they fucked up. | ||
| Well, they were working on how to mitigate viruses. | ||
| That's what they were doing. | ||
| They were working on... | ||
| And they had viruses in this lab in Wuhan. | ||
| And they think it came out. | ||
| And that's one of the reasons why they think China immediately blames it on the wet market. | ||
| They said, whenever China blames it on something, always look deeper. | ||
| Ah! | ||
| There's a ton of scientists that are pointing to that. | ||
| There's one French virologist. | ||
| Jamie, I'll send you this. | ||
| There's a French virologist who identified HIV. And this French virologist was looking at this disease and he was like, this is not a disease that came from nature. | ||
| This is a disease that came from a lab. | ||
| Did you see that Facebook video where there's some series on Netflix? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| It's a series on Netflix that takes place in China that like two or three years ago they called the coronavirus and they like played the thing. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was like episode 13, season 3 or something like that of this show. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Man, they knew this stuff was happening. | ||
| Well, people knew that it was always a possibility. | ||
| I can't believe it. | ||
| I'm in this text thread. | ||
| But it's here now, and it's just like the reset of, like, oh, that's another thing that's interesting. | ||
| Like, what it's doing to our TV industry. | ||
| Like, it feels like everything has become YouTube, you know? | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| Like, all the time. | ||
| I know! | ||
| Even CNN. Everybody's trying to do you right now. | ||
| Everybody is doing... | ||
| Well, the weird thing is they're trying to do it, but they're not adapting. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They're not adapting to the fact they've got no audience. | ||
| So they're doing these whack-ass monologues. | ||
| You know who's doing it well? | ||
| Who? | ||
| Bill Maher. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| With the fake audience and having fun with it. | ||
| He's having a great time. | ||
| Also, he has... | ||
| Here, French virologist. | ||
| I'll send you this right now, Jamie. | ||
| Hold on a second. | ||
| Bill Maher has some great fucking rants. | ||
| I mean, I've tweeted twice to him where I said, Bravo. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Are you playing it? | ||
| Oh, it's on my phone. | ||
| Where's the sound coming from? | ||
| I just sent it to you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| His fucking shit has been great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| And also, you know, he's pushing all the buttons, you know? | ||
| He's doing comedy. | ||
| He's doing like real edgy comedy while he's pointing out how crazy this all is. | ||
| I appreciate him right now. | ||
| He's a guy who's on the left that I really like the fact that he doesn't give in to all the craziness. | ||
| He doesn't give in to the lunacy of left-wing policies. | ||
| He's still... | ||
| Rational about it all. | ||
| Although, clearly, left-wing biased, he's still rational. | ||
| And still goes with comedy. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I like him a lot. | ||
| I feel like a butt's coming. | ||
| No, because I watch some of his stuff. | ||
| And I feel like it's two things. | ||
| He should have me on this show, basically. | ||
| Because he's always... | ||
| He would have you on a show. | ||
| He's always talking about kids. | ||
| He don't know what the fuck he's talking about. | ||
| And he's always talking about... | ||
| But I love how he attacks it, like he knows, but it's like, ah, dude, that's your shit, but that's not it. | ||
| Or he'll be talking about, he did this whole rant about, why can't we call it the China disease and all that stuff? | ||
| And I was listening to a Chinese American on The Daily and Talking about her experience of feeling like being an Asian American here was always like a probationary experience. | ||
| As long as I did the right things and stayed out the way, people left me alone. | ||
| But when this came up, just her going outside, people were like, you fucking Chinese? | ||
| And it's kind of like... | ||
| To me, I love watching him because it's also these blind spots that he just... | ||
| His whole rant was really about stop these wet markets. | ||
| You can do it. | ||
| He didn't have to do the other side of it. | ||
| Well, here's the thing about when they called it the Chinese virus, they don't want to call anything a virus based on the country. | ||
| They would call it the Wuhan virus. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's like they call Lyme disease Lyme disease. | ||
| That was one of the examples that he used. | ||
| Or like SARS or MERS, which is a Middle Eastern respiratory disease. | ||
| But he didn't make that point. | ||
| He didn't say he called it the Wuhan virus. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| He should have said. | ||
| And that's what I'm saying. | ||
| The problem is, yeah. | ||
| The problem is that he's trying to do comedy, and he's trying to make a point at the same time. | ||
| And really, the right way would be to call it the Wuhan virus. | ||
| But when they called it COVID-19, then it becomes the whole world's problems. | ||
| That's one of the differences between what that journalist in Germany was saying to the head of China. | ||
| He was saying that, and then the Chinese guy was saying, hey, this is the whole world's problem, this whole world's pandemic. | ||
| But... | ||
| Yeah, kinda, but it did come from a fucking, if it did, if it did come from a lab, you know. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We should call it the lab-created Wuhan virus. | ||
| There you go, but it's more specific. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Inaccurately claims the novel coronavirus is man-made and contains genetic material from HIV. Okay, so this guy is Nobel laureate Luc Montagnier. | ||
| Do you speak French at all? | ||
| Nah, nah, I didn't get there. | ||
| So how do we know that this guy's correct? | ||
| It says genomic analysis. | ||
| Can you make that a little bigger? | ||
| It says, indicates the virus has a natural origin. | ||
| It was not engineered. | ||
| The so-called unique protein sequence insertions found the 2019 coronavirus can be found in many other organisms, not just HIV. But that doesn't mean it's organic or natural in origin. | ||
| See, I think that we are right now in this period of conflicting information, and you're going to get it bouncing back and forth from pro to con, but I've read multiple sources. | ||
| That seem, and from respected scientists, it seemed to indicate that there's a distinct possibility that came from that lab. | ||
| One of the things they're saying is the actual bats that they sequenced the genome, when they found the genetics for this virus, the bats that tested, you know, where this originated from, were the same, they're from the same exact location as the bats that they do research on in this lab. | ||
| And the lab is four miles away. | ||
| I mean, it's not outside the realm of possibility. | ||
| I mean, we're in the wheelhouse right there. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Well, obviously, I'm a moron. | ||
| I don't know shit about viruses other than what I read. | ||
| But when China says, oh, definitely a wet market. | ||
| Nothing to see here. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| That's a great point. | ||
| Look deeper. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| I mean, maybe it was a wet market. | ||
| Maybe it wasn't a wet market. | ||
| Like, fresh mat. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, well, the wet markets are fucking gross. | ||
| You know, it is... | ||
| But that's also a sad thing about you're trying to feed a billion people and you're feeding them wildlife. | ||
| A lot of what they're eating is wildlife. | ||
| It's equivalent to squirrels and stuff here. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| They're eating whatever they can eat. | ||
| You know pigeons were brought over here as food? | ||
| From where? | ||
| From other countries. | ||
| From Europe, I believe. | ||
| You know palm trees were brought over here? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| They're not native at all to California. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| LA is palm trees. | ||
| Like Cub Swanson, he's got fights in the UFC. He's got SoCal tattooed on his stomach with two palm trees. | ||
| Like, bitch, those are Hawaiian. | ||
| Those are Hawaiian! | ||
| It's like, once you know stuff, you can't unknow it, and it's like, sometimes... | ||
| I know, that's a weird one. | ||
| Palm trees are a weird one. | ||
| Because you're like, what? | ||
| How many did they bring over here? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They steal all the palm trees? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, that's a weird one. | ||
| Yeah, they're normally in climates with hurricanes and shit, because they can withstand the... | ||
| They would stand the fuck out of some wind, right? | ||
| When was the last time you saw a palm tree that fell over? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Snap. | |
| Those motherfuckers just... | ||
|
unidentified
|
They just take it. | |
| What wind? | ||
| They just take it. | ||
| Yeah, wind. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're not worried about wind at all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| How crazy is that that a plant evolved to be able to handle the winds? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, right. | |
| And so my brain is working like, you know... | ||
| The palm trees that couldn't stand it, you know, they're telling, hey man, you better, winds are coming. | ||
| Dude, I love Hawaii. | ||
| I love how Hawaii is like, fuck you, no one's coming here. | ||
| Man. | ||
| Stay out. | ||
| We got some beautiful islands. | ||
| We're just going to sit tight and eat fish for a couple weeks. | ||
| You ain't gonna find the Applebee's in Hawaii. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You ain't gonna find the fucking Fridays or Chili's. | |
| Oh, none of that. | ||
| I proposed to my wife in Maui. | ||
| Did you really? | ||
| One of the best times of my life. | ||
| I love it there. | ||
| I love it there. | ||
| I go to Hawaii every year to bow hunt. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| I go to Lanai, yeah. | ||
| Oh, man, yeah. | ||
| One-tenth of my meat that I eat from a year comes from Hawaii. | ||
| That's dope. | ||
| You know what's crazy? | ||
| I will say to anybody listening, if you're not married yet, keep a nice file of photographs of before y'all had kids. | ||
| Because I sent my wife a picture of us in Hawaii and it made her weak. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She was just like, I remember us when we were people. | |
| When we were people. | ||
| Well, everybody feels like that now. | ||
| Everybody's like a prisoner. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| You see how Ellen got in trouble for saying that? | ||
| What did she say? | ||
| It's actually a hilarious joke. | ||
| She goes, I feel like I'm in prison. | ||
| She goes, I've been wearing the same clothes for 10 days and everyone's gay. | ||
| That's a funny joke! | ||
| But then people are like, Ellen needs to be educated about the realities of prison. | ||
| Like, yeah, but also it's just a joke, okay? | ||
| Jokes can't coexist with the need to be factual at every turn. | ||
| They can't. | ||
| Yes, you're right. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| She should be sensitive about... | ||
| But how do you know that she's not also sensitive about incarceration? | ||
| Look, incarceration is fucked up. | ||
| It's fucked up. | ||
| And I don't know what the solution is, but I do know that it's not going to rehabilitate anybody. | ||
| I mean, if you get rehabilitated while you're in prison, all the people that I know that have been in prison, that's up to you. | ||
| They'll offer you classes, but you're dealing with so much chaos while you're in there, and so much danger, and so much fucked up shit. | ||
| If you get rehabilitated because of that, You're a strong motherfucker. | ||
| Yeah, you're a strong motherfucker. | ||
| But there's people that, like, one of my favorite examples is Bernard Hopkins. | ||
| Bernard Hopkins, who was one of the greatest boxers of all time, and also one of the ones who had the longest career of all time. | ||
| I mean, at an elite, world-class level, was beating world-class fighters deep into his 40s. | ||
| Fought his last fight, I think it was 51. Bernard Hopkins did a stint in jail. | ||
| And when he came out, one of the guys in the jail, one of the guards said, you'll be back. | ||
| And he's like, the fuck I will. | ||
| And his discipline was legendary. | ||
| Because he never wanted to be back then. | ||
| The execution of the mask. | ||
| So a friend of mine, Dan in green, he did a documentary. | ||
| It's a group of guys in Philly called the Executioners. | ||
| It's a fascinating documentary. | ||
| I think he either took the name or adopted it or whatever Bernard Hopkins did. | ||
| From them? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was a bunch of cats from a troubled area, but they found boxing and started having success as the Executioners. | ||
| They would wear the mask and the ring and all of that. | ||
| No shit. | ||
| Bernard kind of adopted it. | ||
| Well, you know, he abandoned it later on in his career because people were trying to figure out why he's so good this late in life. | ||
| So he became Da Alien. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| So it's bhopdaalien on Instagram. | ||
| On Instagram, yeah. | ||
| Because people are like, how the fuck are you beating the shit out of everybody when you're in your late 40s? | ||
| Yes, yeah. | ||
| He's like, I'm an alien. | ||
| He was just super technical and disciplined and never did dumb things inside the ring. | ||
| Just did everything technically and always erred on the side of defense. | ||
| His defense was impeccable. | ||
| That's how I live life offstage. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm telling you. | |
| Bernard Hopkins style. | ||
| You know a great example of that is the difference between Roy Jones Jr. and his prime, who I think is one of the greatest of all time, if not the greatest. | ||
| Roy Jones Jr. in his prime was fucking untouchable. | ||
| But then when Roy got a little older and a little slower, Bernard and him fought twice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Twice. | |
| They fought once and Roy beat him by decision and they fought later on when Bernard was actually older than Roy. | ||
| And Bernard beat Roy by decision pretty decisively because Bernard's fundamentals and his technical ability was rock solid. | ||
| Whereas Roy never, I won't say never threw a jab, but rarely threw a jab, would leap in with a left hook. | ||
| Because his left hook was so preposterous, like he could get away with crazy shit. | ||
| Hands down, moving around. | ||
| He's the only fighter on record for CompuBox that won an entire round of a championship fight without having one punch landed on him. | ||
| Do you know how crazy that is? | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| Against a world champion, against Vinny Pazienza. | ||
| They fought an entire round where Pazienza didn't land one punch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck! | |
| I would quit. | ||
| If I was Vinny... | ||
| He would never quit. | ||
| Vinny Pazianza would never fucking quit. | ||
| He would die before he would quit. | ||
| And he almost did. | ||
| Roy beat the fuck out of him. | ||
| And when Roy was stopping him, Roy dropped him, was beating his ass, and looked at the referee and was like, please stop this fight. | ||
| And the referee was like, keep fighting. | ||
| He was like, okay. | ||
| And then he went, bing, bing! | ||
| And then put him away. | ||
| But he was like, I didn't have to do that. | ||
| He was letting him know, this fight is over, man. | ||
| This fight's over. | ||
| Stop this. | ||
| Stop this guy. | ||
| Man, I keep forgetting to get the name of the place. | ||
| When I lived in Chicago, there used to be a spot on the north side where on Thursday nights they would put a boxing ring on the entire floor. | ||
| And when you walk in, if you had beef with somebody, you could sign up. | ||
| And you would go. | ||
| And it was all these thugs and these gang dudes and whatever would try to fight. | ||
| And you would see how out of shape people were in real time, like in the ring. | ||
| And then they would always end it with a... | ||
| Or like an amateur professional. | ||
| And you can try to fight him if you want. | ||
| And that's when you would see the importance of fucking technique. | ||
| Because you would have all these dudes who look like they could put in work. | ||
| But man, that dude would just stand there and just jab, jab. | ||
| But it was so solid, he would never get tired. | ||
| He'd just be knocking these dudes. | ||
| And you would stand on a second. | ||
| And what happens is people start fighting really hard for like the first 30 seconds. | ||
| And they get winded and they don't throw punches. | ||
| So you could throw lemons at them to make them... | ||
| And so you talking all that shit? | ||
| And it was like the funnest Thursday night. | ||
| We would do it every Thursday and go. | ||
| And that's when I first started getting into, oh shit, technique is everything. | ||
| It's everything. | ||
| That professional would just step up there and just like not be phased. | ||
| And I'm talking about on the street, if you saw any of these guys, you would be like, I ain't fucking with that dude. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But he knew after 45 seconds, they can't... | ||
| It's a rap. | ||
| They're going to be winded. | ||
| They're going to be tired. | ||
| And then he... | ||
| Next. | ||
| It was amazing to watch. | ||
| So when... | ||
| When you talk about that guy didn't land a punch in it, God damn it. | ||
| And he's a world champion. | ||
| I mean, he's an elite boxer. | ||
| That's how good Roy Jones Jr. was. | ||
| Roy Jones Jr., when he was at his best, people forget, man. | ||
| They forget. | ||
| There was a Nas song with the new Mike Tyson's Roy Jones. | ||
| People forget. | ||
| There was a time, and Roy had a song about it. | ||
| It's called Y'all Must Have Forgot. | ||
| Y'all Must Have Forgot. | ||
| You know what's crazy is that I was just thinking about that in terms of our business. | ||
| Because my wife and I, we were trying to recall an old TV show. | ||
| And we couldn't really figure out the details of it. | ||
| But being in writers' rooms and shit, you'd know how much people pine over certain things and arguments happening and all this shit. | ||
| Just trying to get a show on the air. | ||
| And then 20 years later, what was the name of the... | ||
| Like, no one remembers... | ||
| Like, what is so important to us today, you know what I mean? | ||
| It's like they got this Jordan doc coming back on again, so people are like, oh shit, Jordan was... | ||
| This is a new Jordan documentary, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's on ESPN. Yeah, ESPN followed him for... | ||
| Jordan said, you're not going to like me after this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| He didn't give a fuck. | ||
| He's like, that's who I was. | ||
| That's how you win. | ||
| That's how you win six. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I've always said that greatness and madness are next door neighbors. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they borrow each other's sugar. | ||
| That's my saying. | ||
| Put that on a t-shirt, man. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Every great person I've ever met is mad. | ||
| They're mad. | ||
| Because in order to get to that place further than anybody goes, you've got to be out of your fucking mind. | ||
| And you have to have a drive inside you that's different. | ||
| You've got to be able to sacrifice relationships and public perception and... | ||
| And even your own well-being. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| There's people that get to those points. | ||
| Those people are just, they're not, and maybe it's not a good idea to get to those points, because you only live in those points for 10 years, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And then after that, you've got to live with yourself. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And it's hard for a lot of people to heal. | ||
| You know who's healed? | ||
| Who? | ||
| Mike Tyson. | ||
| Yes, I love him. | ||
| Love him. | ||
| Love him. | ||
| You know how he's healed? | ||
|
unidentified
|
How? | |
| Marijuana. | ||
| Seriously? | ||
| Yeah, you want to smoke some Mike Tyson weave right now? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All right, hold on. | ||
| You bullshit. | ||
| I got a one-of-a-kind Mike Tyson weed box. | ||
| Man, my kids are going to be like, Daddy, why are you so happy right now? | ||
| Daddy is tripping. | ||
| Mike Tyson? | ||
| Yeah, that dude is amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Give us that cool gold box over there. | |
| I don't know if you can see it in the corner. | ||
| Since this is the coronavirus, we'll both get our own joint. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| Otherwise, we would share a joint. | ||
| We would share a joint. | ||
| Even though you tested positive, it seems like a bad... | ||
| I tested negative. | ||
| I mean, excuse me. | ||
| I mean, in a good way, positive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sorry. | |
| You tested negative. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| I meant... | ||
| Like she's behind Joe, like... | ||
| I mean, even though you're good, it seems like in poor form to share a joint. | ||
| Oh, it's nice. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Smells good. | ||
| What happened to this lighter, Jamie? | ||
| You been here firing up joints from behind my back? | ||
| Thank you, sir. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| But Mike Tyson was... | ||
| In his prime, the ultimate destroyer and the ultimate guy who was completely focused only on greatness. | ||
| But then after a while... | ||
| After his career was over and he had to settle in and realize who he was, now he doesn't even like working out. | ||
| What he said to me was that, he goes, I don't want to feed my ego. | ||
| He goes, if I start working out again, I'll start feeding my ego. | ||
| That's self-awareness like a motherfucker. | ||
| That's why I don't have a six-pack. | ||
| For real. | ||
| I'll be a fucker. | ||
| Don't give up your joke, but that joke that you do is brilliant. | ||
| It's one of my favorite jokes. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| Yeah, man, I don't... | ||
| That six-pack joke is genius. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| I think I'm gonna release that shit. | ||
| We gotta do something, Owen. | ||
| We gotta let people know. | ||
| I mean, I've been telling people as much as I can, you're one of the best comics alive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| That's a fact. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| I gotta tell you, man. | ||
| Notebooks came out really good, Joe. | ||
| I worked my ass off on that shit. | ||
| You'd have been laughing at me. | ||
| I did stop-motion photography, so like the graphics when you see... | ||
| I wanted to do like this paper crumpling and uncrumpling to show like, you know, names and all that stuff. | ||
| So I, while my kids and wife were asleep, I set up stop-motion photography and crumpled the paper. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| You did it all yourself? | ||
| All myself, put it in. | ||
| And then I had a hell of a direct, a hell of an editor, Matt Silfen. | ||
| Big shout out to my man Matt Silfen. | ||
| What are you using to set all that up? | ||
| I have a tripod that leans on because I like cooking. | ||
| I was going to do, like, food videos, but for my family to show them, like, shit that I'm making. | ||
| I don't want to be on the internet doing that. | ||
| Like, I just feel like... | ||
| But I do want to... | ||
| So when I make stuff for people, sometimes I go, well, how did you do that? | ||
| What did you make stuff? | ||
| I would challenge Donnell. | ||
| I would send him pictures and be like, food, beef, son. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| He cooks a lot, too. | ||
| Yeah, he cooks a lot, too. | ||
| What kind of food do you cook? | ||
| I would do... | ||
| So I would do... | ||
| I went on this whole, like... | ||
| I would make shit. | ||
| My smoothies are incredible. | ||
| I would make my own almond milk and all that shit. | ||
| And people are like, how are you doing that shit? | ||
| So I would do that. | ||
| And then I would make my breakfast foods are crazy. | ||
| My wife loves how I put that together. | ||
| I make shit from scratch because I'm from scratch. | ||
| Like what kind of shit? | ||
| Waffles, pancakes, all that shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
From scratch? | |
| Yeah, I could tell you what goes in it right now. | ||
| I could look in your thing and be like, okay, you need. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I could hook that shit up. | ||
| Whatever, man. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| And, you know, whatever it is. | ||
| But I'm big on plating and making it look good and shit, so... | ||
| You're like a chef in disguise. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like a chef. | |
| I'm a quiet chef. | ||
| Have you ever cooked any wild game? | ||
| Nah, man. | ||
| No? | ||
| But I just gotta see it once, and then I'll get so many ideas, because I guarantee you, I could take a recipe that you love and just even, like, heighten it. | ||
| You'd be like, damn, I didn't think of it that way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| I love doing that shit. | ||
| And so I was gonna do... | ||
| Sometimes my wife would take a picture. | ||
| I'd take a picture and send it to my mom or something. | ||
| And my mom is competitive as fuck. | ||
| How'd you do that? | ||
| Did you put the thing on the thing? | ||
| And I'd get it from them. | ||
| They're foodies before it was foodies. | ||
| My Aunt Sissy could bite a piece of dessert and be like, they didn't use cinnamon. | ||
| She can taste that shit. | ||
| And I would watch. | ||
| I grew up watching that, so I liked doing it. | ||
| So basically, I bought a tripod. | ||
| But I was able to use that for the stop-motion photography. | ||
| So I did that for all the lower third titles and all of that stuff. | ||
| I had to realize that cooking is an art. | ||
| I had to change my perceptions and I didn't realize that I had a misconceived idea, a misperception. | ||
| I didn't understand that until I watched Anthony Bourdain's TV show, the first one, No Reservations. | ||
| And when I watched that show and his enthusiasm and passion for great chefs and great cuisine, and I think a lot of it also was like that he was enthusiastic about other people's work. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then I was realizing like, okay, this guy is not just a chef himself, which he was, but also like... | ||
| A fan of the art form. | ||
| And so all the great masters, like he would go to their places all over the world and film with them and eat with them and cook with them and drink with them. | ||
| And then I realized like, oh, this is an art form that you don't... | ||
| It doesn't last very long and you eat it. | ||
| It's still an art form. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's an art form. | ||
| It's like drawing, right? | ||
| Like your son's three. | ||
| When your son draws... | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Like, it's cool to see someone draw something, but it's also different than, you know, whatever. | ||
| Leonardo da Vinci, you know, whatever. | ||
| Someone who's amazing at it. | ||
| Like you go, oh, there's levels. | ||
| There's many, many, many, many, many, many, many levels. | ||
| Even to food. | ||
| There's, like, some food that's just, I'm hungry, I just need to eat. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But then... | ||
| I guess what happened was civilization got settled into the fact there was enough time between getting raided by barbarians and fighting off saber-toothed cats. | ||
| They're like, okay, okay, okay. | ||
| What if I make it pretty? | ||
| Like, what if I add a little bit of this? | ||
| It's everything, man. | ||
| And then they'll put in a little fucking balsamic drizzle on it. | ||
| Look at that! | ||
| A little sprig of parsley. | ||
| A little rosemary. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Look what you did! | ||
| And then they started turning what was like an essential thing into an art form. | ||
| An experience, yeah. | ||
| Well, because you eat with all five of your senses, right? | ||
| First, you hear it cooking, right? | ||
| Then you smell it. | ||
| You're like, oh shit, that's one thing, right? | ||
| Then you see it, and that's the whole plating of it, right? | ||
| What's the other two senses? | ||
| You taste it last. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See, hear it. | ||
| What's the other one? | ||
| Feel. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You touch it. | |
| Feel it? | ||
| And you touch it. | ||
| Oh, sure. | ||
| Text it. | ||
| And you go. | ||
| And so it is. | ||
| It's a dance, man. | ||
| It's the whole. | ||
| And I love that. | ||
| I love that whole aspect of it. | ||
| And for a while, I had gotten into plant-based stuff. | ||
| To see... | ||
| And so it's like a fun thing when you can basically make versions of your old comfort foods. | ||
| I would be like, hey... | ||
| Or I would make stuff without a specific ingredient and do a substitute thing. | ||
| It tastes great or it looks great or whatever it is. | ||
| So that's the stuff that I was into, man. | ||
| But I also like... | ||
| My wife and I did joke about doing a site called Doctoring It Up. | ||
| We'll just take canned chili, but then slice it up. | ||
| So when you eat it, it's like, this shit could be a $25 bowl of chili now, you know what I mean? | ||
| Doctoring stuff up is my thing, too. | ||
| I could take a frozen pizza and do some shit to it. | ||
| You know what's cool to me, too, is that food is so specific to the culture. | ||
| I went to Thailand for the first time ever last year. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And, you know, we actually took a Thai cooking class at this one place, and so got to understand how they do things. | ||
| There's very little dairy. | ||
| Everything is like coconut milk and these different spices and curries and the way they cook. | ||
| And it's like, oh, this is so recognizable, as opposed to, like, Mexican food, which is so recognizable to Mexico. | ||
| The mole and the chorizo and all the different styles of creating Mexican food. | ||
| Yeah, well, for a while, I did raw food. | ||
| Raw? | ||
| What were you eating? | ||
| I did raw food. | ||
| It was fantastic. | ||
| It was the best shape I've ever felt in my life. | ||
| Just raw vegetables? | ||
| Did you eat raw meat? | ||
| No, I didn't do raw meat. | ||
| But I went down this deep dive. | ||
| I was learning how to make dishes. | ||
| And every meal has four things. | ||
| A fat, an acid, a salt, and a sweet. | ||
| So even if you don't eat raw food, I was just looking at plates. | ||
| So if you get calamari, right? | ||
| The fried, that's the fat. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And then the salt is obviously the salt and the batter and the salt you put on it. | ||
| The sweet is the dipping sauce. | ||
| But they always give you a lime wedge. | ||
| I was like, why do they do that? | ||
| And that's the acid part. | ||
| So every meal should have those four components and then you just learn like how you tease the tongue and stuff that you do to like stimulate the tongue and excite the tongue. | ||
| And so what I learned when I did the raw food thing is that I don't love barbecue potato chips. | ||
| I love the seasoning that's on the chips. | ||
| Of course, right? | ||
| So you can take anything, not anything, but you know what I mean, something chippy-esque, but if you can conjure up those same seasonings, I won't miss barbecue potatoes. | ||
| Bro, I will fuck up a bag of vinegar and salt and vinegar chips, sea salt and vinegar. | ||
| I will fuck those chips up. | ||
| Tom's got the best ones, I think. | ||
| I feel like I can't stop. | ||
| I'm in a trance. | ||
| I'm in a vinegar and salt eating trance. | ||
| I'm like barbecue savory. | ||
| But I would eat any chip. | ||
| But it's like the chip by itself. | ||
| That's where the sum is way greater than the sum of the parts. | ||
| The total. | ||
| Because salt by itself is okay. | ||
| Vinegar by itself, that's fine. | ||
| Chips by themselves. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| I'm hungry, I'll eat it. | ||
| All together, like, Jesus! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where have you been all my life? | |
| Right? | ||
| Like, what an impact. | ||
| What's up, Jamie? | ||
| I haven't seen you getting those salt and vinegar almonds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Have you had those? | |
| I'm scared. | ||
| I'm scared of these almonds. | ||
| I've been addicted to those for years. | ||
| These are my brands. | ||
| Srirachas. | ||
| Yeah, Blue Diamond. | ||
| I eat the shit out of these. | ||
| But I know there's all kinds of spices in here that I don't need. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Why am I eating this? | ||
| It's probably, look, I can't read this without my glasses on, but that list of ingredients, that's not just almonds. | ||
| Look at all that shit. | ||
| See if you can read that. | ||
| Look at all that shit. | ||
| There's too many. | ||
| Those are the sriracha almonds, which are goddamn delicious. | ||
| The first one that's a little weird would be corn maldextrin. | ||
| That's the first ingredient? | ||
| No, no, I mean the first one that's a little funny. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| It's the almonds, vegetable oil, sugar, salt, corn maldextrin. | ||
| Yeah, see, sugar is a high number. | ||
| That's not good either. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're really better off raw almonds. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what you're really better off for. | ||
| That's what I make almond milk with. | ||
| It's not bad. | ||
| Raw almonds are dope. | ||
| A little bit of sugar, though. | ||
| How many grams of sugar does it say per serving? | ||
| Two grams of sugar. | ||
| How big is a serving, though? | ||
| Like, how many servings are in it? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Why do they do servings like that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It says 28 nuts is an ounce. | |
| So that's six servings? | ||
| Well, I eat six servings then. | ||
|
unidentified
|
12 grams. | |
| Because I eat six servings. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's not bad. | |
| How many teaspoons of sugar is? | ||
| It's a lot of calories too. | ||
| When you find out how many calories are in almonds, you're like, whoa. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Six grams of protein. | |
| Yeah, it's good for you. | ||
| But you know what it's bad for? | ||
| The fucking environment. | ||
| If you care, if you care about the environment, you're not supposed to be growing a plant here that could never survive without being drowned. | ||
| That's what almonds are. | ||
| These motherfuckers just suck up all the water. | ||
| They're whores. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| They're mean. | ||
| They kill all the other plants. | ||
| They're like, fuck you. | ||
| We're trying to make nuts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shut up. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm just kidding about that. | ||
| But they're drinking all the water. | ||
| They're greedy bitches. | ||
| Thirsty as hell. | ||
| Somebody pointed that out. | ||
| Like, if you really care about the environment, you wouldn't be buying avocados from other countries. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Like, where's that avocado coming from? | ||
| How's it getting here? | ||
| By truck? | ||
| You're supposed to be eating what's around you. | ||
| And you're supposed to live where shit grows. | ||
| Remember Kenneth Smith? | ||
| It's the desert. | ||
| Oh, that's right, right. | ||
| We just drove here 500 miles with your food. | ||
| It occurred to us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We didn't have world hunger if you people live where the food is. | |
| Move! | ||
| We got deserts in America too! | ||
| We just don't live in them, asshole! | ||
| Dude, that line alone... | ||
| A lot of our food comes from California. | ||
| The farmland between here and San Francisco is crazy Republican. | ||
| Dude, you go up there, you see these anti-abortion billboards and pro-Trump billboards and oh my goodness. | ||
| It's like a different world. | ||
| It's so crazy because... | ||
| It's the world of the people who have to work from fucking dawn till 7pm and then they crash and they go back to the farm again. | ||
| They're always trying to keep it together. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| When it comes to farmers, there's one thing you get a lot of. | ||
| You get a lot of religion. | ||
| This is not a value judgment. | ||
| But you get a lot of religion and you get a lot of Republicans. | ||
| You get a lot of that. | ||
| It's not that common that you get... | ||
| Liberal farmers. | ||
| There are a few. | ||
| There's certainly some organic farmers that are real progressive, liberal people that understand the importance of growing your own food. | ||
| But mass farmers, when farmers are growing corn to feed cows, those kind of farmers, there's nothing wrong with that. | ||
| They need them. | ||
| Those fuckers are... | ||
| A lot of those people are Republican. | ||
| You gotta wonder. | ||
| Maybe it's just the party of the people that really bust their ass. | ||
| And they want that. | ||
| That hard-working farmer ethic is like there's no room for bullshit in that life. | ||
| If you gotta get up at 6 o'clock in the morning and feed the chickens, milk the cows, and then do shit all day long and you're barely paying your bills, you don't wanna hear any bullshit. | ||
| You don't wanna hear any bullshit. | ||
| And so I think a lot of them Because Republicans stand for this no bullshit perspective on life. | ||
| They think the Democrats want to hand out their money and take too much of their taxes. | ||
| But it's because of their reality. | ||
| It's because of the reality of this particularly grueling occupation these people have taken on. | ||
| It's almost like a mistake of perspective. | ||
| They don't have an opportunity to see things openly, like see the whole world and see where their position is. | ||
| They have a uniquely difficult position. | ||
| They might think the whole world is like that, but it's not necessarily. | ||
| You just chose something that's a preposterous endeavor. | ||
| I mean that in an admirable way. | ||
| I'm admiring farmers' work ethic. | ||
| If you took a regular person, just you or me, who's never worked like that ever, and say, hey, Owen, you and Joe are going to get up at 5 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| You're going to feed the chickens and milk the cows and gather up the eggs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're going to work all fucking day, man. | |
| And you're barely going to make any money. | ||
| And you're going to have crazy loans. | ||
| And you're going to need to be subsidized. | ||
| You're going to need to be subsidized by the goddamn government. | ||
| Sign me up. | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh man, so much depression and suicide and when their farms collapse, man, it's fucking devastating. | ||
| And there's some people who could do it too. | ||
| Some people would do it and they become very successful. | ||
| And there's some people who do it and love it and swear by it. | ||
| I mean, there's a whole spectrum. | ||
| But that has got to test you. | ||
| And if you think about how crazy that is... | ||
| That that's not more lucrative. | ||
| What is more valuable to us than our food? | ||
| And why do we treat them that way? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Well, it's like, what else is more valuable? | ||
| Our teachers. | ||
| Why do we treat them that way? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's consistent. | |
| You think about people who get paid so little who are so valuable. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Fucked up society. | ||
| It's backwards, man. | ||
| What is more value? | ||
| Number one is stay alive. | ||
| That's number one. | ||
| How do you do that? | ||
| You need food. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| The people like food. | ||
| We should take so good care of them. | ||
| They should be the 1%. | ||
| They should be like priests. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| They should be taken care of. | ||
| The givers of fruit. | ||
| They literally bring you fruit and you give them paper and you get their fruit and it sustains you. | ||
| But they're struggling. | ||
| And then number two is teachers. | ||
| Yeah, because once you're here, you got to learn something. | ||
| But what do we do with our teachers? | ||
| We take them, we pay them dog shit, we stick them in front of 50 kids, barely paying attention, and you just hope to make an impact on... | ||
| Like, I'm sure you have a few teachers that said a thing at one point in time, and you're like, oh, okay. | ||
| Teachers do make a difference. | ||
| Yeah, Mr. Friedenberg, you'll never be able to draw a woman until you've had a woman. | ||
| Oh shit! | ||
| I was like, oh I gotta get me a woman. | ||
| Oh shit, that's a Bill Withers line. | ||
| You know, that sounds like a song. | ||
| Yeah, Mr. Friedenberg. | ||
| Goddamn. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I had one guy who was a Vietnam vet who was a heavy guy. | ||
| He was heavy. | ||
| And he was in middle school when I was in... | ||
| I was in the Mary Curley Middle School in Jamaica, Jamaica Plains, which is... | ||
| At the time, it was a real sketchy neighborhood outside of Boston, not a suburb of Boston, but inner city. | ||
| We moved there from Florida, and that was the only place we could afford when I was a kid. | ||
| And this was like 17-year-old kids in my 7th grade class. | ||
| It was so ridiculous. | ||
| I'm not exaggerating, man. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, it was maybe 8th grade. | ||
| I forget, but... | ||
| There was this one teacher anyway, and he was a science teacher, and he would grow his own radishes. | ||
| And he kept saying, like, all I need is radishes and salt, and that's my lunch. | ||
| And I grew my lunch. | ||
| And I'm thinking, like, wow, this guy's out there growing his lunch, even out here in the city. | ||
| But this is the big thing he said to me. | ||
| He goes, you ever want to hurt your head? | ||
| He goes, just go outside and look up at space and realize how big it is. | ||
| Try to imagine something that has no end. | ||
| If you really want to hurt your brain, just try to imagine that space has no end. | ||
| That fucked me up, dude! | ||
| I was like 13! | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I was like, oh my god, he's right! | |
| What? | ||
| There's no end! | ||
| And I swear to God, that became a big part of the shift in how I started viewing the world. | ||
| There's like two things that started happening when I was a kid. | ||
| One is that I moved around a lot, so I never had friends. | ||
| And because I never had friends, I had to form my own opinions on things. | ||
| I couldn't just adopt the opinions of the neighborhood. | ||
| I had to form my own opinions. | ||
| So I was always traveling to all these different places. | ||
| And then two was that teacher saying to me, That there's no end. | ||
| And I remember thinking that when I was a kid, like, holy shit. | ||
| And then the two conclusions that I had, one, there are no grownups. | ||
| It's not real. | ||
| Like, immediately I was realizing, like, I'm gonna one day... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Be one of them. | |
| This is nonsense. | ||
| They don't know what... | ||
| Because you see enough, like, faulty behavior in adults. | ||
| You see enough alcoholism. | ||
| Like, I saw a lot of alcoholism and drug abuse when I was doing construction. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| My stepdad was an architect, and he got me gigs on jobs and construction sites. | ||
| That's what I would do for summer. | ||
| That's how I'd make money. | ||
| And you get to be friends with some of these guys, and some of them had real potential. | ||
| There was this one dude, he was a... | ||
| Drummer and a musician. | ||
| I think mostly just a drummer. | ||
| I think he played guitar too in a band and he was a Really funny guy. | ||
| His name is Robbie funny interesting guy, but he just struggled with the fucking booze in the bottle and I became friends with him when I was like 16 17 and he was in his 30s man And he couldn't get his shit together. | ||
| He would do good for a little stretch and then he would fall apart. | ||
| But I remember I liked him so much. | ||
| I was like, he's so funny. | ||
| And when he's got his shit together, he's just a fucking cool guy. | ||
| And then I would see him drunk. | ||
| And I remember thinking that when I was 17. Like, oh, this poor guy. | ||
| He's tripping on his own dick. | ||
| He's just fucking his way through. | ||
| But it was like, for me it was important to realize that you could be a guy who is like a funny, nice guy that I really like, but also do the dumbest things possible and derail your life. | ||
| So I was thinking like, what is missing in this guy that he's doing this? | ||
| Like, why do people keep doing that? | ||
| Particularly with things that are just undeniably devastating, like hard drugs and Things along those lines where you literally could die every night and you're still shooting up. | ||
| Like, what keeps you doing that? | ||
| And it's like a lack of structure for a lot of them. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| I was thinking that when I was, like, a lot of them are adrift. | ||
| And some of them, it's a chemical thing. | ||
| Some of them, for sure, addiction is they're more inclined chemically. | ||
| But it seemed like some of them was just like a lack of structure and discipline. | ||
| And if they just had rules, Here's rule number one. | ||
| You don't shoot heroin into your dick because you're a Smith. | ||
| Smiths don't shoot heroin into their dicks. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| All right. | ||
| Gather it up. | ||
| But some people, they grew up with parents that didn't lay down any rules, man. | ||
| And they never developed a line. | ||
| They can't be that farmer. | ||
| Those fucking farmers that get up at 6 a.m., those no bullshit motherfuckers that work hard every day. | ||
| Every day. | ||
| And then there's people that just barely show up. | ||
| I'm sick today. | ||
| I can't make it in. | ||
| I didn't think of it that way, but that's so true. | ||
| They don't have anything hanging over their head. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Especially when you're young. | ||
| Billy Gardell used to say, when you're single, you're a Democrat. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| When you're single, you get a house, you're Republican. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Once you own some shit, you're going to want to keep it. | ||
| Yeah, that's sort of true. | ||
| But that's not always. | ||
| I mean, I'm not a Republican. | ||
| I consider myself left on almost every issue. | ||
| Except for maybe the Second Amendment. | ||
| And this is one where I saw people falter. | ||
| I saw a lot of my liberal friends fall apart. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What happened? | |
| Wanted to come to JoJo. | ||
| How do I get a gun? | ||
| Oh, when this shit went down? | ||
| Jo, listen. | ||
| I know we've disagreed. | ||
| I got so many texts and calls. | ||
| It wasn't that we disagreed even. | ||
| It said one friend, his wife would never let him have a gun. | ||
| And the moment this went down, she goes, you have to get a gun. | ||
| She said to him, you have to get a gun. | ||
| That's hilarious! | ||
| She turned 180 degrees. | ||
| And this is what I've always been saying. | ||
| People can go dark on you, man. | ||
| The world can get evil when scarcity becomes a thing. | ||
| I mean, there's a reason why there's so many apocalyptic movies and it never works out great. | ||
| You know, all these Mad Max movies. | ||
| It's not like, that would be way better. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If we just lived off coconuts and fish we speared, yeah, it would be. | |
| It's a great idea in theory, but what if you break your leg? | ||
| You want to dive in infection on the beach? | ||
| So how many people hit you up asking? | ||
| A lot, a lot. | ||
| Like almost, probably a dozen, close to it. | ||
| Did you help them? | ||
| I would say genuinely at least seven or eight. | ||
| It was two, no. | ||
| I said, listen, you're going to go down a road, man. | ||
| I'm not going to help you get a gun. | ||
| You've got to go to a gun store. | ||
| There's a giant line. | ||
| Yeah, wait in line, bitch. | ||
| Go read. | ||
| Read online how to get a gun. | ||
| I'm not supporting your panic buying of firearms. | ||
| You've got to learn how to use it, too. | ||
| That's the other thing. | ||
| You don't have to learn how to use a gun. | ||
| I've taken several lessons, many lessons now. | ||
| You have to learn how to use a gun correctly. | ||
| You have to learn how to load it. | ||
| Yeah, I've had rifle lessons. | ||
| I've had pistol lessons. | ||
| It's a very dangerous thing to just have around if you don't have any experience with it. | ||
| It's tricky. | ||
| But the inclination to get one is what I've been telling people about all along. | ||
| You think the world is safer than it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| The world's not that safe, it's just safe right now. | ||
| We hit a real good spot, man. | ||
| You and I were born in an amazing time. | ||
| Oh no, could you imagine? | ||
| We're born in a time where people are getting it together, right? | ||
| We're not together all the way, but we're getting it together. | ||
| Yeah, we're getting it together. | ||
| So in a sense, one of the things you were saying earlier about wanting a woman of color to be vice president, here's what that would indicate, and this is what I think one of the best things about the Obama presidency. | ||
| But this is what I said the best thing about the Obama presidency. | ||
| Let everybody know, okay, well this racism is all bullshit. | ||
| Because here's a guy who made it to the fucking White House. | ||
| And this is a guy who's articulate, and he's brilliant, and he's a perfect statesman. | ||
| Whether or not you like his policies or not, that's a great representative of who we can be. | ||
| So drop it. | ||
| There's no inferior race. | ||
| It's just people who have an opportunity, people who don't, and cultures, and where they develop in advance and what kind of environment they grow up in. | ||
| We're all one thing. | ||
| We're all one thing. | ||
| True. | ||
| But. | ||
| But. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Always. | |
| But here's the but. | ||
| When one group decides to change the rules and keep moving the goalposts so they can keep whatever they have. | ||
| That's everybody in power. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Every culture has that. | ||
| But it's not every culture. | ||
| It's every job. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| But in this country, it, you know... | ||
| Racism is not bullshit like this shit still exists. | ||
| No, I don't mean it's bullshit like it's not a real thing. | ||
| I mean it's bullshit like it's a dumb thing to still hold on to. | ||
| Okay, let's be clear. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Thank you for being so calm and correcting me if I really thought that stupid. | ||
| No, I'm not saying that racism is bullshit. | ||
| I'm saying you can't defend it anymore. | ||
| There's nothing there. | ||
| There's nothing there. | ||
| If you just decide that an individual is in a category because of how much melanin or where they're from, that's crazy now. | ||
| Let me tell you something too, Joe. | ||
| No one has a stronger work ethic than a racist. | ||
| No one has a stronger work ethic than a Jamaican. | ||
| Jamaican's a legendary. | ||
| A Jamaican racist, man. | ||
| Listen to me, man. | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know how hard these cats work to change the rules? | |
| If they just did half of that the other way, everything would be beautiful. | ||
| Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you? | ||
| You know what's my favorite one? | ||
| What? | ||
| Lazy Mexican. | ||
| Do you know how goddamn crazy that is? | ||
| That's ridiculous! | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're the hardest working people ever! | |
| You see Mexicans out there picking strawberries for like 13 cents an hour. | ||
| How much are they making? | ||
| What do they pay them? | ||
| There's so many undocumented workers. | ||
| How many people walk here from Mexico? | ||
| How many Mexicans working on farms and busting their ass doing the hardest jobs possible, waiting outside Home Depot to do anything you want them to do? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a hilarious racist expression. | |
| But the same thing before that. | ||
| The same thing happened to black folks, too, though. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| The slavery, and after slavery, they called us lazy. | ||
| And it's like, word. | ||
| Well, the darkest aspects have never been addressed from slavery is where you start from. | ||
| So if there's a community, and there's a community that has definitely been suppressed by racism, like... | ||
| There was a guy, what's his name? | ||
| The Baltimore police detective that we had on? | ||
| Michael Woods, that's right. | ||
| He was a detective in Baltimore, or a police officer in Baltimore. | ||
| Was he a detective? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| He was a police officer. | ||
| Anyway, he found an old piece of paper that was a detail of the crime report, and it was all the exact same crimes from 1970-something. | ||
| As he was experiencing. | ||
| The exact same place. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| The exact same crimes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And it was like, oh, shit. | ||
| And for him, it was just a relevation. | ||
| And then he found out about redlining, where you literally weren't allowed. | ||
| Who came up with that? | ||
| Like, seriously. | ||
| And to think of... | ||
| The work ethic it took to even, but who came up with that? | ||
| Well, people that were trying to suppress people that were freed from slavery, right? | ||
| So even, imagine, right? | ||
| Even if you weren't a slave owner, if you condoned slavery, if you were around in 1864, and you're like, I think it's a good thing, and then all of a sudden they let them out, and you're like, oh shit! | ||
| That's what happened. | ||
| And then they tried to suppress them. | ||
| But we're still experiencing that today. | ||
| Now, when people talk about reparations being a good idea or a bad idea, the most important thing would be to fix all the spots that we absolutely know were affected. | ||
| By slavery. | ||
| And there's not a small number of them. | ||
| There's a large number of them. | ||
| And these communities continue to be in a suppressed state, even though they are free. | ||
| They can go out. | ||
| Some of them do escape and they get great careers. | ||
| Some people do get out of bad neighborhoods. | ||
| But you're asking people to do a way more difficult thing than if you're growing up in Brentwood. | ||
| Most people talk about You know, slavery now, but nobody talks about the moment after slavery where they started doing the black codes. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So you're technically free. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But then they would make it illegal for you to hunt and fish for your own food. | ||
| And then you couldn't look for a job outside of your town. | ||
| It was like all these things that was basically... | ||
| And then it made loitering illegal, you know what I mean? | ||
| Because it's like, if we can get you to jail, then we can treat you like a slave again. | ||
| It was like this... | ||
| Could you imagine? | ||
| So you only had to work for one person still and still get paid shitty wages. | ||
| As opposed to going, I want to work wherever I want to work. | ||
| It's illegal. | ||
| Then I won't work. | ||
| I'll just throw my own food. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| And the federal government didn't make the states Deal with it. | ||
| I want to do a movie about that shit, but I don't know if anybody has seen it. | ||
| There's a hundred movies to be done. | ||
| You know, I got balls deep into Native American history a couple months back, and it freaked me out, man. | ||
| It's crazy, man. | ||
| I started off with this book that my friend Steve Rinello wrote on American Buffalo, and I read that, and a lot of it had to do with Native Americans hunting the buffalo, and then I read this book, Empire of the Summer Moon, that was on the Comanches, and a Holy shit. | ||
| And then I just started getting... | ||
| I read like at least five of them over... | ||
| Most of them I listened to. | ||
| What fascinated you the most? | ||
| What story stands out to you the most? | ||
| The Comanches. | ||
| Bro, they ran shit. | ||
| They ran shit all through Texas and Oklahoma. | ||
| They killed everybody. | ||
| This is how devious people were at the time. | ||
| They would give people giant chunks of land. | ||
| They'd say, you could have a giant chunk of land in Comanche country. | ||
| So they would give them this land. | ||
| They would go there and get slaughtered. | ||
| But They were trying to use them as human cannon fodder to slowly move the line of what America owned and push into Comanche country. | ||
| But it took hundreds of years. | ||
| The Comanches from like the 1600s to the 1800s were dominant. | ||
| They were so terrifying. | ||
| All they ate was buffalo. | ||
| They were wild motherfuckers who didn't hardly create any art. | ||
| They figured out horseback riding. | ||
| And they figured out horseback riding better than any of the other Native Americans. | ||
| And they figured out how to shoot arrows off their horses. | ||
| And they figured out how to raise horses. | ||
| So their whole thing was about giant packs of horses. | ||
| And they can conduct all of their fighting off these horses. | ||
| And the white dudes only had muskets back then. | ||
| They had one shot. | ||
| And then you had to fill that bitch up and it took forever. | ||
| And the Comanches figured out... | ||
| There's a dude named Lars Anderson who actually sort of recreated what they were able to do back then. | ||
| He's an archery guy. | ||
| And the Comanches would take arrows in between all their fingers. | ||
| And so as they were riding a horse chasing dudes down, all the white guys would get off the horses and aim and bang! | ||
| That's how they fired the rifles. | ||
| The Comanches would shoot from their horses with all their arrows stuck in their fingers. | ||
| They'd go one, two, three, four. | ||
| They could shoot like an arrow a half a second. | ||
| Crazy! | ||
| They would hang off the side of the horse and use the horse as a shield and shoot under its neck. | ||
| That's dope. | ||
| And they were ruthless, man. | ||
| Ruthless. | ||
| What they did to other Indians, what they did to white settlers, and it's all depicted in just dark, gory detail where you're like, oh my god! | ||
| But you've got to realize what was... | ||
| Imagine trying to survive back in Oklahoma in 1700. When you're just riding around your horse with... | ||
| You got sticks that have sharp rocks that you chipped at the end of them to go kill deer and buffalo and shit. | ||
| And that's what you need to make your baby stay alive. | ||
| And then you get raided by other Indians who want to fuck your woman and take all your shit. | ||
| Fuck! | ||
| Dude, I got so crazy about it. | ||
| I got so crazy about it. | ||
| I had to take a break for a while. | ||
| When I got that painting, that painting you saw in the hallway. | ||
| Yeah, that's fantastic. | ||
| This guy, Greg Overton, he's this master of Native American stuff. | ||
| I think that's a crow. | ||
| I actually didn't ask it, but somebody else told me. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| This is how these fuckers do it. | ||
| This guy hanging, that guy looks like a Mongol. | ||
| Is he Native American? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's off Daniel Belele's page. | |
| Well, it might be Daniel Belele's page. | ||
| Also, the way all their stuff, their hats and their clothing and stuff looks more like Mongolian. | ||
| But the Mongols were famous for being able to do that. | ||
| And that was even before anything was recorded about the Native Americans. | ||
| How strong your corps had to be to be able to do that? | ||
| Well, their bows would take 160 pounds to pull. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| They were ridiculously strong people. | ||
| Ridiculously strong. | ||
| So you're saying it was like pulling 160 pounds? | ||
| 160 pounds. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| To give you an example, my bow that I shoot with is 82 pounds. | ||
| It's really hard to pull back. | ||
| Oh, shoot. | ||
| So it's like doing lat pull-downs. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's really hard to pull. | ||
| But that is twice as powerful. | ||
| And mine's a compound bow, so it's on like these cans. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So as you pull it, it gets easier at the end. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| And it's easier to hold there. | ||
| That's hilarious, man. | ||
| I just had like, what if you made a sound every time you pulled your... | ||
| Because it's hard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're like... | |
| If you did that, animals would run. | ||
| Gym noises. | ||
| Did you ever see that? | ||
| What is that one? | ||
| Is it Planet Fitness? | ||
| They don't let you make noises? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's hilarious. | |
| You can't make noises. | ||
| You can't make noises. | ||
| We got discrimination of all time. | ||
| They have meathead discrimination. | ||
| They discriminate against us meatheads. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| If I'm lifting, bro, I'm making noises. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| You can't handle that? | ||
| Maybe you shouldn't have opened a fucking gym. | ||
| This is what I do when I'm really trying to get something. | ||
| I make noises because I'm a man. | ||
| It says lunk alarm. | ||
| One who grunts, drops weights, or judges. | ||
| You mean a human. | ||
| You don't want humans. | ||
| You want people that are going to quit. | ||
| That's what they want. | ||
| They want people that are going to buy a membership, go there for a month. | ||
| And not show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You don't want people that are dedicated. | |
| Dedicated people grunt. | ||
| They grunt. | ||
| They drop weights. | ||
| Yeah, they feel it. | ||
| They also put pizza out on Fridays, I've heard. | ||
| Oh, do they? | ||
| At Planet Fitness? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They put pizza out. | ||
| Pizza! | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's why people go. | |
| Is it like, what kind of pizza? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like pizza. | |
| Like pepperoni and cheese pizza. | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| That's so ridiculous. | ||
| At a gym. | ||
| What is that plant-based crust that's actually supposed to be not flour? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, cauliflower. | |
| I know how to make that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I bet you do! | |
| I actually make pizza crust from scratch. | ||
| It's fun, man. | ||
| Dude, it's a hilarious misunderstanding that you thought I was saying that racism is bullshit like it doesn't exist. | ||
| No, I just wanted to clarify. | ||
| I know, for sure. | ||
| But if I said that like that, God, that's going to be taken out of context. | ||
| I didn't think you... | ||
| Yeah, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| That's why I went back. | ||
| I didn't think that. | ||
| That's not what I meant at all. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| No, I didn't think that. | ||
| I just think it's bad for everybody. | ||
| But it's also like... | ||
| It's a part of a pattern of human behavior that's bad. | ||
| And that pattern is lumping people into a category and not accepting the uniqueness of the individual. | ||
| Like as soon as you put someone in a category, like any kind of category you put people in, and you don't accept the uniqueness of the individual, you create the potential for some sort of tribal difference between each other that wouldn't ordinarily exist. | ||
| Like, if you start thinking of someone as, oh, this guy's from, yeah, this guy's from this place, or this guy's from that place, so I think of him in this way, or they do a this, so I think of him that way. | ||
| But I don't have a problem with any of that. | ||
| I have a problem when you go, because I think of you that way, you don't get to do this. | ||
| That's where it gets weird. | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| It's like, think of me what you want, I don't care. | ||
| But when you just go... | ||
| What I was gonna say is that we still have certain aspects of certain cultures you can't deny. | ||
| Italians. | ||
| I'm mostly Italian. | ||
| And they are the most stereotypical fucking people alive. | ||
| East Coast Italians are exactly like the Sopranos. | ||
| There's just varying levels. | ||
| I want to see Cuomo right now though. | ||
| Cuomo is killing it fam. | ||
| He could be president. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He could be president. | |
| See that's a guy who could be president. | ||
| That's a guy who exhibits all the leadership skills and understands that this is a terrible thing and sacrifices have to be made and there's mistakes that have been made and we're gonna have to correct those mistakes and do the right thing going forward and we're gonna have to figure out how to get through this. | ||
| And imagine being a guy who's a president or a mayor or a governor who's dealing with this right now. | ||
| As much as we shit on all of them, we have to respect that they're trying to help us. | ||
| I think they're trying to help us. | ||
| This is my perspective. | ||
| When I see whether or not I agree that we should be shut down for X amount of months, I don't know when we should reopen. | ||
| I'm not an expert. | ||
| I don't know jack shit, but I do appreciate when someone like our governor seems like a leader and is on television and he's making the choice. | ||
| And he's making a choice based on wanting more people to be able to stay alive. | ||
| I'm all for that. | ||
| All those things are great for all of us. | ||
| But I just I hate the fact that there's Democrats and that there's Republicans. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I hate it. | |
| I hate the fact that there's these groups because it just leaves open this like I had a friend, he's a really nice guy, and when we were on this, we worked together on the set, and he was so into Apple, so into Apple products, he was talking about when the new Apple laptops comes out, you know, we're gonna shove it in Microsoft's face, and there was like all this team shit. | ||
| I was like, bro, you got team shit for the operating system of your computer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's how we are, man. | |
| It doesn't have to be of something that's important. | ||
| Because politics are important, right? | ||
| The way we treat each other is important. | ||
| Policy is important. | ||
| The standards of how we accept the leader of this great nation, the way he communicates, all that stuff is important, right? | ||
| That is real. | ||
| But it's also... | ||
| To break it down into two sides is so dumb. | ||
| It opens up the possibility for tribalism. | ||
| Oh, definitely. | ||
| The same thing is like fucking iPhone versus Android. | ||
| People already stab each other. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| At my son's school, they won't let you wear superhero stuff because it can create clicks. | ||
| Because if you're like, I'm Spider-Man people, I'm Batman people, then you can create that. | ||
| DC vs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Marvel. | |
| When I was a comic book head, it was all about Marvel Comics vs. | ||
| DC. I was a Marvel guy. | ||
| My friends were DC guys. | ||
| And they were fucking losers. | ||
| You're a loser if you like DC. But that's just a natural part of human beings. | ||
| We have to recognize all of that, we'll still be like, you wear glasses, I don't wear glasses. | ||
| Yeah, it's also, I'm from Jersey, I'm from Boston, you know, all that shit. | ||
| It's like, come on. | ||
| It's human nature. | ||
| It might be cute, but to hang on to it, if you get some benefit out of it, if you're proud to be from Brooklyn, that's great. | ||
| But you're just a person. | ||
| And this is the only way to look at each other. | ||
| The only way to look at each other is based on the individual. | ||
| And it's just hard to do. | ||
| It's natural to separate people by political biases, by what part of the country they're from. | ||
| It's natural. | ||
| But we don't have to do it anymore. | ||
| We don't have to. | ||
| It's a trap. | ||
| It's a trap that robs you of your perspective. | ||
| And it lumps you in with a bunch of other assholes. | ||
| There's some women that are all girl powered out. | ||
| Listen, there's a lot of girls that are amazing, but there's a lot of girls that you don't want them on your team. | ||
| They do bad shit. | ||
| You don't want Casey Anthony on your team. | ||
| Let's just stop this all girl, all boy shit. | ||
| Let's stop all left, all right. | ||
| It's all Fucking nonsense, and we haven't figured it out yet for some reason. | ||
| We're still dependent upon two parties. | ||
| We're still dependent upon two philosophies, conservative or liberal, different parts of the country. | ||
| Oh, these are red states, like, oh Christ! | ||
| Oh yeah, the coloring of states. | ||
| Has that always been a thing? | ||
| It's a trap! | ||
| When did that start? | ||
| I don't remember red states and blue states when I was a kid. | ||
| It's a fucking trap. | ||
| It's all a trap. | ||
| It's a trap. | ||
| So what's the alternative though? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I'm a moron, bro. | ||
| So that's the thing. | ||
| Whenever I hear people say, everything is there, what are we supposed to do? | ||
| So what's the alternative? | ||
| I think multiple parties. | ||
| I believe Holland. | ||
| Doesn't Holland have like seven political parties or some shit? | ||
| Why is that working out? | ||
| Well, they have legal weed, or they tolerated weed long before us. | ||
| You used to be able to buy mushrooms at cafes. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Why'd they stop? | ||
| I think people start tripping too hard. | ||
| I did mushrooms one time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
One time? | |
| I shit on this dude's couch. | ||
| Did you tell me this story? | ||
| I think I told you last night, yeah. | ||
| All white couch. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| I should have said his name, but I ain't gonna give him that platform. | ||
| That's a rough, rough moment. | ||
| That's a rough moment. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| If he sees it, he'd be pissed, though. | ||
| He's fucking laughing. | ||
| But that's another example of like, what do you do? | ||
| Because people are so... | ||
| That's my only question. | ||
| Like when atheists say you shouldn't believe in God. | ||
| I don't believe in that either. | ||
| I don't think they're right. | ||
| What's the alternative? | ||
| And like, you can't... | ||
| Yeah, no, you're right. | ||
| You can't tell people what to believe in. | ||
| The thing about atheism versus religion is like, what is the overall benefit? | ||
| If you get an overall benefit out of believing in a higher power and it forces you to act in a more harmonious way, so you sure that's not good? | ||
| Because there's a lot of religious people that because of those religious principles, they live very ethical and moral lives. | ||
| So is it an overall net benefit for them to be involved in a religion? | ||
| It seems like there's an argument that it could be. | ||
| But then is there also an argument for being objective about some of those stories that seem crazy, like guys coming back from the dead and walking on water? | ||
| Yeah, when I went to Notre Dame, we all had to take theology class. | ||
| We had a nun. | ||
| Who told us that everything in the Bible is a symbol. | ||
| It was a symbol. | ||
| So if someone is old, they're just saying that no one lived to be 800. That just means what they have to say is important. | ||
| Oh, right, right, right. | ||
| Like 72 virgins. | ||
| Do you know that idea of when you blow yourself up, you get 72 virgins? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I know that idea. | |
| It doesn't really mean... | ||
| It's a symbol. | ||
| Yeah, it means like a million virgins. | ||
| It's like, I'm saying, I get a hundred million billion. | ||
| It's a symbol. | ||
| Yeah, it's a lot. | ||
| It's saying that that's an important task for you to... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, an important belief for Tenet. | ||
| And... | ||
| That resonated. | ||
| I understood that. | ||
| So that's how I perceive it as far as, like, it's not a literal thing. | ||
| Which kind of makes it kind of cool, you know? | ||
| Just as an artistic choice. | ||
| Oh, because in no books, some people were upset that I would go to black and white and then go to color. | ||
| But the reason for doing that is... | ||
| Whenever we talked about the past, we would go to black and white. | ||
| And then whenever we talked about the present, we would come back together. | ||
| That's like a dream, right? | ||
| Yeah, it was like... | ||
| Like a dream state. | ||
| Yeah, and I thought it was like a cool choice. | ||
| Yes, exactly. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| So I just made that choice. | ||
| And because initially I wanted it to all be in black and white. | ||
| But we just did it as a run-and-gun thing, so we weren't thinking about the lighting and making sure it was... | ||
| And so when we looked at the color footage, some of it was all over the place, too. | ||
| It was like, let's do the black and white for the past. | ||
| That's good, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, because color correction is also expensive, so it was like, let's try to keep the cost down as well. | ||
| So that was the choice. | ||
| So if you go back, smoke one, then watch it again, you'll see whenever we talk about anything in the past... | ||
| It's all black and white. | ||
| It's black and white and back in the color when it's present. | ||
| Dude, what's it going to be like going on stage when you haven't gone on stage in a month? | ||
| Oh my God, I was just thinking about that. | ||
| How weird is that going to be? | ||
| Everybody's going to seem like open micers. | ||
| What's the longest stretch you've ever gone without doing straight up? | ||
| I can't even. | ||
| That's a damn... | ||
| Oh, I know. | ||
| I can tell you. | ||
| Eight months. | ||
| But it was when it was really early. | ||
| I bombed so hard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was afraid. | |
| Eight months. | ||
| Eight months, but it called me back, and I went back up. | ||
| Eight months is a good stretch. | ||
| I was 19. I was 19. And the next time I went on stage, I was 20. And I was funny again, and it was back in me. | ||
| Oh, good. | ||
| And that was my on again, off again for eight months. | ||
| But as a professional, the longest I've ever gone, I couldn't. | ||
| I would say... | ||
| I would be lying if I tried to think of, I don't know. | ||
| Those shows are gonna be lit. | ||
| Do you know how crazy the comic store is gonna be when this motherfucker opens up again? | ||
| Do you know how crazy it's gonna be? | ||
| It's gonna be crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Yo, last time I was on here, I broke my phone basically from the textowen.com joint. | ||
| Oh, I told you not to check that out. | ||
| Man, it was good shit though. | ||
| And so it still exists. | ||
| I talk to those people all the time. | ||
| And it's been great. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Cass is like, yeah, it's pretty powerful. | ||
| One guy told me the other day he uses my clips to help the morale of his troops. | ||
| And it, like, floored me. | ||
| Like, I was like, oh, shit. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| And I've been sending them, like, I sent them notebooks first. | ||
| And so they got to see it. | ||
| They got to see the trailer first. | ||
| And I was getting feedback and stuff. | ||
| It was cool. | ||
| People think it's a robot. | ||
| It's really me. | ||
| You go to text porn.com. | ||
| I be doing that shit, man. | ||
| I be talking to you. | ||
| That's nice. | ||
| But yeah, it was dope, man. | ||
| It worked out. | ||
| So thank you, man. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| My pleasure. | ||
| But I was going to set up some dates and then... | ||
| I know. | ||
| Yeah, well, we talked about... | ||
| I want to go with you. | ||
| Yeah, I want to go. | ||
| People will ask me, are you coming here with Joe? | ||
| Are you coming here? | ||
| I was like, I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, we're going to do some, hopefully, when we're allowed to. | ||
| I have a couple dates booked at the end of the year. | ||
| I don't even know if they're going to be able to do them. | ||
| I'm supposed to be at the Forum. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| At November 1st. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I want to do that one with you. | ||
| I don't even know if it's real. | ||
| It's down the street. | ||
| But I think that the governor has said 2021 for concerts and shit. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| And then they say it might be like six, it might be people separated. | ||
| I'm going to be so mad if all you need is vitamin C. I know, right? | ||
| I'll be so mad if some doctor comes out like 10 years from now and it's like, if everybody took just 4,000 milligrams of vitamin C a day, that's all you need. | ||
| There's no viruses! | ||
| And you're good. | ||
| 4,000 grams of vitamin C and don't be a dick. | ||
| I don't know what stops it. | ||
| What can strengthen your immune system and what can't? | ||
| Do you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Is that real? | ||
| Well, as an expert, I would say... | ||
| I don't know about your immune system, because that's kind of like your pelvis. | ||
| You can't strengthen that shit. | ||
| I don't think that's true, though. | ||
| Can you strengthen your pelvis? | ||
| Your immune system. | ||
| Oh, your immune system? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Oh, yes. | ||
| I think you can strengthen it by... | ||
| You can strengthen your pelvis like the bones themselves? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| You ever see those dudes do that fuck exercise? | ||
| Yeah, I see that shit all the time. | ||
| They motherfuckers be doing a fuck exercise. | ||
| Isn't that strengthening your pelvis? | ||
| Listen, if she's 150, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But if she's like 380, son, you mean like... | |
| Oh, yeah, that's too big. | ||
| I can't do it. | ||
| She's got to give up sugar and carbs. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I think you can strengthen your immune system by what you put in your body. | ||
| Especially over 40. I think... | ||
| Like when I was doing raw food, I didn't get sick at all. | ||
| At all. | ||
| Why'd you stop? | ||
| Socially is tough. | ||
| Forgot being sick. | ||
| My boys were teasing me like, yo, it'll take you 48 hours to make a pancake, son. | ||
| I had a dehydrator. | ||
| I had a dehydrator. | ||
| I still have it. | ||
| I dehydrate fruit and stuff for my kids. | ||
| Did you have to, when you were doing that, did you have to in any way supplement your protein? | ||
| Were you eating pea protein? | ||
| No, because that's a myth. | ||
| That's the whole thing. | ||
| It's all in what you choose to believe about protein. | ||
| But they were like, you can get protein from greens. | ||
| You certainly can. | ||
| So... | ||
| No, you can get protein from it, you just don't get the same amount. | ||
| No. | ||
| And it's not as bioabsorbable. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But then there's a question of how much protein do you really need. | ||
| That's the big debate. | ||
| Yeah, that's the big debate. | ||
| Yeah, it's kind of like with bacon. | ||
| You remember when bacon was dying and then somebody came up with, make it like you have to have it on burgers. | ||
| And they did these campaigns. | ||
| Is that what they did? | ||
| Then bacon came out. | ||
| Well, people weren't really messing with it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, people thought bacon was bad for you for a long time. | ||
| They thought those fats were bad for you. | ||
| And so the idea of having bacon is it's delicious, but it's going to kill you. | ||
| Are you going to have a heart attack choking on that piece of bacon? | ||
| Everybody thought that. | ||
| There was that Dr. Sean Baker guy, that carnivore MD guy. | ||
| He wrote something... | ||
| About a study. | ||
| There's something about a study that was released on people who don't eat meat and the correlation between mental disorders and anger issues and sadness. | ||
| There's some... | ||
| I don't know if... | ||
| I might have made part of that up. | ||
| But there's something about it. | ||
| Like people who just... | ||
| Who don't eat meat that have... | ||
| Some mental issues. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on, man. | |
| That's what it said. | ||
| Well, people who don't eat meat, they always say, you take on... | ||
| Can you find that, Jamie? | ||
| The stress of the animal. | ||
| Bro, I'm just talking about science. | ||
| We're just talking about science here. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm a scientist. | |
| Listen, what people eat and what people believe are very personal things, right? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Food and religion. | ||
| Right, and politics. | ||
| You want to clear a room. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| It didn't used to be. | ||
| The eat part is recent. | ||
| It's recent, right? | ||
| Everybody ate everything. | ||
| Vegan. | ||
| Up until like 30 years ago. | ||
| Everybody ate everything. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that's because I believe we didn't have to. | ||
| We had a smaller population. | ||
| So to stretch it, you don't know. | ||
| Like the milk my mom drank is not the same milk that we're drinking. | ||
| Because you got to feed more people. | ||
| More people are drinking milk. | ||
| That's part of it for sure. | ||
| Another part of it is they want to make more money. | ||
| They want to be able to make more milk, be able to pump it out quicker. | ||
| Pump it out quicker. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, so it's... | ||
| I'm gonna tell you, man. | ||
| Plus, when I used to drive all over the country, I never saw two cows fucking. | ||
| Ever? | ||
| Always see cows. | ||
| Don't see them fucking. | ||
| And everybody eating. | ||
| I was like, that can't all be cow, man. | ||
| They not making enough. | ||
| These motherfuckers just be standing around. | ||
| You should be sitting on the most ridiculous silence. | ||
| Like, I drove by and never saw anybody fucking. | ||
| It's not real. | ||
| Not real. | ||
| The earth is flat. | ||
| That's not meat. | ||
| It looks flat to me. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Meat and mental health. | ||
| A systemic review of abstentation, depression, anxiety, and related phobias. | ||
| So what's he saying? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| The majority of studies, especially of higher quality studies, show that those who avoided meat consumption had significantly higher rates or risk of depression, anxiety, and or self-harm behaviors. | ||
| There was mixed evidence for temporal relations, but study designs and a lack of rigor precluded inferences of casual relations. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| One study does not support meat avoidance as a strategy to benefit psychological health. | ||
| Well, yeah, because you beat yourself up. | ||
| You do feel guilty. | ||
| If you live a whole life of eating meat, and then you try not to eat meat, and then you go, damn, I have some meat. | ||
| So then you go crazy? | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't understand the whole crazy part, but I get you feeling guilty. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's tough, man. | |
| It's tough to change your diet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Eating that way is not supported. | ||
| It's starting to get more supported. | ||
| Eating raw, you mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's not, nobody really says that, but... | ||
| Like eating vegan, you mean? | ||
| Yeah, vegan, the whole vegan industry, the Beyond Meat world, and it's not soy, it's made of pea protein, like all of that stuff is like, like they're stocking through the roof. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, the thing that freaks me out the most about the animal kingdom is not just that we are able to justify stuffing as many as we can into a warehouse and making them shit on top of each other and then eating them. | ||
| That's just one crazy thing about it. | ||
| The other crazy thing about it is what they do to each other. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Man, I'm obsessed with wildlife videos, like wildlife videos where animals are eating animals. | ||
| Every day I watch a cheetah. | ||
| Take out some kind of a gazelle or a crocodile. | ||
| Ate someone's dog. | ||
| I watched the other day in Australia. | ||
| The dog pulled up. | ||
| These people are screaming at the top of their lungs. | ||
| And the crocodile gets their dog, snap, and just drags them into the water. | ||
| And they are fucking screaming and crying. | ||
| I am fascinated by that shit. | ||
| What fascinates you about this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just all of it. | |
| Just the hierarchy of... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, what we're doing is fucked up, for sure. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| But what they're doing to each other is fucked up, too. | ||
| It's just a different kind of fucked up. | ||
| They're fucked up as instantaneous, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like, they need an animal, they find it, they bite it with their face, they drag it into the water, they eat it and swallow it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And that's their fucked up, and we just kind of accept that as a part of nature, right? | ||
| Our fucked up is weird. | ||
| Our fucked up is we've figured out metal and boxes, and we've figured out cages, and we've stuffed that chicken into this fucking little box and make him shit on the other chicken. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We figured it out. | ||
| We figured out how to do whatever the fuck we want. | ||
| If you want eggs for a dollar a dozen, that's what it's going to take in order for this company to make any fucking money. | ||
| So they just figured out how to do it. | ||
| You know, when I saw this video, it started really making sense to me. | ||
| I saw this video of baboons that were raising puppies. | ||
| Yeah, bro, it's crazy. | ||
| These baboons that steal these dogs and then keep these puppies. | ||
| They keep them nearby the camp because the puppies will bark whenever things are coming close. | ||
| So they feed them, they keep them nearby, and they basically have pets. | ||
| So these baboons... | ||
| There's a crazy video of these baboons just grabbing this puppy by. | ||
| It's like they're rough with them, you know? | ||
| They don't have any idea of compassion. | ||
| So they don't give a fuck. | ||
| They're banging this puppy off rocks and shit, dragging them behind them. | ||
| And then just set them... | ||
| The puppy's like trying to get away and just like, sit the fuck down. | ||
| And he gives him some food and the baboon's just hanging out with this puppy and then raises it and then uses these dogs that they stole to guard the perimeter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, so animals do weird... | ||
| Like, why didn't it just eat the puppy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| No, because it wanted a pet. | ||
| Animals do weird shit, too. | ||
| Like, they're just a bunch of systems that are trying to compete against other systems. | ||
| Like, the deer system versus the mountain lion system. | ||
| The deer system is we just gotta keep fucking and keep moving. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, right. | |
| Big things and if they fuck too much and there's too many of them and not enough of us, we're done! | ||
| We gotta just keep fucking and keep moving! | ||
| And the mountain lion system is every day I gotta kill a deer with my face. | ||
| Every day I gotta find one, I gotta sneak up and get close enough this fast ass thing with swords growing out of his head to grab him by the neck and drag him down into the woods. | ||
| These systems, they're all horrific outcomes. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Predator and prey systems. | ||
| All of them are horrific. | ||
| All of them. | ||
| Our horrific is just a new kind of horrific. | ||
| We also, like, outlive all of those other things, right? | ||
| Oh, we outlive the fuck out of them, so we know real guilt. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You kill someone when you're four, do you really even understand what you just did? | ||
| Right, and your life expectancy is seven. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Do you really understand? | ||
| A four-year-old lion has probably killed a million things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I'm out in three years, guys. | ||
| Did you watch Tiger King? | ||
| Did you watch any of that? | ||
| My wife and I tried to watch it. | ||
| It's not what we... | ||
|
unidentified
|
We didn't give a fuck about that shit, man. | |
| We heard, God dang it! | ||
| It was like, another time. | ||
| Not during the quarantine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I need shit to be okay for me to like... | |
| Enjoy it. | ||
| But it seemed hilarious because they opened up with the call saying that that lady, you're going to want to prosecute that lady. | ||
| I was like, all right, I'm in. | ||
| And then it just wore me out, man. | ||
| Way to wear you out. | ||
| Yeah, it wore me out. | ||
| So I think in happier times, I'd totally be all into that. | ||
| I'm serious. | ||
| It's in my queue. | ||
| I'm going back. | ||
| It's a good show for the apocalypse. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because it represents the folly of human beings. | ||
| What we could be at our most preposterous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A gay guy who raises tigers and marries straight guys. | |
| They all do math and shoot guns. | ||
| One guy accidentally shoots himself in the head. | ||
| The other guy decides that he's not gay. | ||
| What? | ||
| What? | ||
| This is madness. | ||
| That is a wild ass show of real people. | ||
| And you really couldn't make something like that fake. | ||
| Maybe like the Coen brothers could do it. | ||
| You know, the old brother where art thou type deal. | ||
| They could kind of create somebody like Joe Exotic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But it's almost like better because it's real. | |
| It's real. | ||
| It's better. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's better. | ||
| That couldn't happen. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the other guy runs the sex cult. | ||
| And then Carol and her husband. | ||
| Her husband's dressed up with a rope around his neck. | ||
| He went missing. | ||
| I hear this guy went missing. | ||
| My first husband went missing. | ||
| No big deal. | ||
| I mean, she definitely didn't do it. | ||
| It's not like she feeds meat to cats every fucking day and he was worth millions. | ||
| Whatever, whatever. | ||
| I don't know where he is. | ||
| Carol fucking Baskin! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| God damn, what a show. | ||
| Do you think you could marry somebody whose first husband went missing? | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Do you think you would sign up for that? | ||
| Well, the kind of guy that would be into that, there's some guys that would be into that. | ||
| They're similar to girls who get into serial killers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| Right? | ||
| There's girls that are really, they email serial killers and they're in love with them and they want to marry them. | ||
| Oh, after they're caught. | ||
| Oh yeah, after they're caught. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I thought you were talking about like right when they were like, in their prime out there. | |
| I think there's a weird... | ||
| Obsession with that? | ||
| It's a small percentage of the people. | ||
| I've... | ||
| I've got high and thought about this. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I think it has to do... | ||
| I'm thinking about it for the first time now. | ||
| Would I? With back in the day, if you were a murderer, if you could befriend a murderer, you would be more protected. | ||
| Oh, that's interesting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because they've done it before. | ||
| They won't punk out if something... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| If we need to survive, I'm with... | ||
| Well, that's what women are, I think, a lot of women are really terrified of, is if confronted with real adversity, how will their man hold up? | ||
| If you're a woman and you weigh 90 pounds and you have a husband that's twice your size, like literally a 180 pound human, that's normal. | ||
| That happens all the time. | ||
| But if he's a bitch and he folds, And you're, like, left there, like, oh my god, like, no one's gonna stop anything from happening to me or stop anything from saying rude things to me, and fuck, you're not protected. | ||
| And there's mean people out there, right? | ||
| If you're a woman, you stumble into some mean people that are saying rude, lurid shit to you, and no one's there to protect you, and you gotta walk back to your car and you're wondering, holy fuck. | ||
| You know what, that sounds like a fun game show. | ||
| Did you marry a bitch ass? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Unfortunately, we'd be causing a lot of divorces with that show. | |
| There's dudes out there that don't even know that they're bitches. | ||
| Because they haven't really been tested. | ||
| They don't know. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Most people believe they're going to do way better than they will. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| In real times of struggle, I think most people believe they're going to do way better than they actually will. | ||
| Which takes me back to that boxing ring in the club. | ||
| Everybody thought they did. | ||
| But that's a different thing, right? | ||
| That's like a guy with technique. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you got a guy with technique in front of you and you don't know how to box, you're fucked. | ||
| You got like a few seconds to get lucky as you charge and maybe you might clinch and throw a punch that connects and hurt him. | ||
| It's possible. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe, but it's not very likely. | ||
| It's more likely you're going to get boxed up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, and jujitsu is even worse. | ||
| In jujitsu, it's 100%. | ||
| Because there's no lucky shots. | ||
| You ever break a bone practicing? | ||
| Yeah, I broke my foot, my rib, my hand. | ||
| My nose was destroyed. | ||
| I broke my nose so many times that my nose was useless. | ||
| It was useless. | ||
| It didn't work. | ||
| I only had like one quarter of one nostril that was open and I had a nasally tone to me. | ||
| I didn't realize. | ||
| I was listening to it and watching an old Fear Factor once other than my horrifying choice of wardrobe and inescapable accent that I still had. | ||
| I was hearing how nasally my voice was because I couldn't breathe out of my nose. | ||
| It was useless. | ||
| Broke a rib. | ||
| I had two ACL surgeries. | ||
| Two ACL surgeries? | ||
| Yeah, I blew out both knees. | ||
| That's it though. | ||
| That's not too bad. | ||
| If you do jujitsu particularly, most people just accept the fact that there's a possibility of injury. | ||
| It's like it could happen. | ||
| You could go a year without getting injured. | ||
| It's not like going and taking a yoga class where you're probably pretty safe. | ||
| It's too much random wild shits happening while people are trying to kill each other. | ||
| He didn't ever tell you that part. | ||
| Because I was going to sign up for jiu-jitsu. | ||
| You'd be great at it. | ||
| Would I? Yeah, you're so big. | ||
| How tall are you? | ||
| 6'5". | ||
| You have long-ass arms, dude. | ||
| You choke the fuck out of people. | ||
| All the leverage. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, the leverage from your arms and your legs. | ||
| It'd be so spectacular. | ||
| How would it transform me as a human being? | ||
| Oh, you would lose a lot of weight, and you would gain a shit ton of confidence. | ||
| You would just have to go about it very technically. | ||
| When I started, I was younger and dumber, and I went at it aggressively. | ||
| Like I went at other martial arts when I was younger. | ||
| I just wanted to do them as hard as I could, as fast as I could. | ||
| With jiu-jitsu, really, it's about technique. | ||
| And the more strength you have, one of the problems is you could substitute technique for that strength. | ||
| Like the best jiu-jitsu players, the guys to learn from the best, are the guys who are small humans. | ||
| They're smaller people. | ||
| Like Eddie Bravo is a smaller guy. | ||
| It's one of the reasons why he's such a great instructor. | ||
| Hoyler Gracie is another famous, super technical jiu-jitsu guy who's a smaller guy. | ||
| There's like a series of guys like that all over the country. | ||
| And Jeff Glover is another one. | ||
| These smaller guys, because they're smaller, they have to rely on this spectacular technique. | ||
| So you learn from them. | ||
| So you never really want to rely on your strength. | ||
| It'll stop you from getting better, in fact. | ||
| It'll stop you from achieving the right technical level. | ||
| So you just keep getting better and better at it. | ||
| And then when you get to a certain point, like if you're in a fight with a guy, like a wild fight, if a guy just knows how to throw a punch and he's fast and he's a strong guy, he might punch you and he might fuck you up. | ||
| It might happen. | ||
| It can happen. | ||
| Whenever you're throwing knuckles with people, especially in a chaotic environment, it's possible. | ||
| Here's what's not possible. | ||
| I don't care who you are. | ||
| If you don't know how to grapple at all, and someone like Hoist Gracie clinches you and drags you to the ground, you're a fucksville. | ||
| You're fucksville 100% of the times. | ||
| 100. 1-0-0. | ||
| You're fucksville. | ||
| You're fucksville. | ||
| He's gonna choke you 100% of the times. | ||
| And he'll do that to people that know jujitsu. | ||
| So when you get to a point like a guy like Hicks and Gracie or my instructor John Jock Machado, he can do that to people that are experts in jujitsu. | ||
| So there's like so many levels. | ||
| It's a crazy thing to learn. | ||
| And you're built for it, man. | ||
| Being so tall and long. | ||
| Also, you're a smart dude who, like you say, you like economics. | ||
| He's like figuring, well, if this happens and that, that's the same. | ||
| Jiu-Jitsu is just like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Helsing Gracie was another famous Jiu-Jitsu practitioner. | ||
| He was asked to describe Jiu-Jitsu. | ||
| And he's like, I'm going to paraphrase this or I might fuck it up. | ||
| He said it was basically like, I move and then you move. | ||
| And then I move and then you move. | ||
| Forever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Forever. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| That was a description of Jiu Jitsu. | ||
| I'm like, oh my god! | ||
| So if you realize how good Helson is, that it becomes a terrifying expression. | ||
| Because it's like, eventually I'm going to get you, bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| You're going to fuck up. | ||
| You're going to get tired. | ||
| You're going to be using too much strength and you're going to get exhausted. | ||
| Just like those boxers that were throwing punches and then they'd get tired and the other guy would piece them up. | ||
| But it's going to be even more horrific because you're never going to be able to accomplish anything. | ||
| You're just going to slowly wear out. | ||
| The guy's just going to keep attacking you and you keep pushing him off you and he's going to keep attacking you and you keep exploding and he's going to keep attacking you and eventually you're going to get tired. | ||
| And then he's just going to dominate you. | ||
| He's just going to control you. | ||
| You'd be great at it, dude. | ||
| It'd be good for you. | ||
| Yeah, it'd be really good for you. | ||
| Would I have to be in there with kids when I first started? | ||
| They're going to put you in the women and kids class. | ||
| Getting all jacked up. | ||
| Here's how strong Jiu-Jitsu is. | ||
| There was a woman named... | ||
| She still exists. | ||
| Her name is Felicia Oh. | ||
| She's a friend of mine. | ||
| She's a black belt from John Jock Machado's. | ||
| She's super technical. | ||
| And she weighs... | ||
| Felicia's very strong, but she weighs about maybe 135 pounds. | ||
| And there was a guy named Seymour Butts. | ||
| Seymour Butts was a porn star who had a TV show on Showtime. | ||
| And he had this idea, pretty bold of him, really. | ||
| He's brave to do this. | ||
| He just decided, I'm going to do like a jujitsu match. | ||
| Well, I've never taken jujitsu before, but I'm going to spar with a woman and see what happens. | ||
| And this girl just... | ||
| Fucked him up. | ||
| But she's elite, man. | ||
| She's really good. | ||
| She's really good. | ||
| Yeah, she teaches people. | ||
| She also works for the California State Athletic Commission, so I get to see her at UFC events oftentimes when they're in California. | ||
| She's awesome. | ||
| But she's super technical. | ||
| So this guy, he was doomed. | ||
| He just didn't know. | ||
| He was a guy. | ||
| He's in really good shape. | ||
| He's young and fit and pretty good body. | ||
| She's a bitch. | ||
| She's just choking him and leg locking him and I don't know what she did to him. | ||
| I don't remember how many times she tapped him or what she did it with, but it was like arm bars and triangles. | ||
| But again, that would happen to any man who didn't know anything and went with her. | ||
| So even though she's a woman, just the technical expertise, it overcomes strength. | ||
| It's... | ||
| So for a guy like you, who's a very cerebral person who likes these sort of puzzles and figures things out, it's one of the reasons why your comedy is so good. | ||
| You're excellent at like economy of words and setting things up in a mysterious way and then dropping punchlines in. | ||
| That's jujitsu. | ||
| They're similar. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| I think there's a lot of things like that in this life that are similar. | ||
| There's little things that you learn, like little ways to move around things that advance through these games and systems. | ||
| And you can apply that to all these other different things. | ||
| And you can apply it even to comedy. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I was just thinking. | ||
| We were talking about another approach. | ||
| But that's what I got from Notebooks too, just how everybody approaches. | ||
| We have the same goal to make somebody laugh, but we approach it differently. | ||
| That's something that's so enticing to me, like how everyone approaches the craft in their own way. | ||
| I was super awkward when I first started out because I didn't have any background really in anything performing arts related or even music. | ||
| So I was super awkward in how to present myself and how to dress and how to act. | ||
| Yeah, because people who have knowledge of that, they do have a different level of execution. | ||
| And I know people who can sing, they say things in a more memorable way. | ||
| You just remember it, but they're not technically trying to sing. | ||
| You remember their phrases or their hooks or whatever it is. | ||
| Because this is like a musicality to their performance. | ||
| You just, you know... | ||
| That's a thing you figure out, too, is that it's not just... | ||
| And this is something with podcasts, I think, as well. | ||
| It's not just the words. | ||
| There's something to how you say the words. | ||
| And some people are not good at that. | ||
| And you don't think of it as being an important part of the... | ||
| You kind of ignore it because you're concentrating on writing or you're concentrating on... | ||
| Whatever, your look. | ||
| But there's a thing in how you say the words that gets into people's brains better than if you're clunky. | ||
| And I've been clunky. | ||
| We've all been clunky. | ||
| When you listen to old recordings, there's moments where you're like, ugh! | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's a lot of times because you're trying to figure out the best way to do it on the spot in real life. | ||
| And that shit takes, especially with a complicated bit, it should take a long time to work out the details. | ||
| Yeah, especially with, yeah, especially, yeah, the more personal you are too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But when you get it, it's nothing more magical than that. | ||
| That's the best. | ||
| When you get it. | ||
| I don't want to say this bit either. | ||
| Your bit about your son. | ||
| About naming your son. | ||
| Adopting a white kid. | ||
| The white baby bit. | ||
| It's one of those bits where you just go, God damn. | ||
| When someone builds a beautiful house, you just go, oh shit. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I should put that out. | ||
| We gotta do something with it, man. | ||
| When everything gets rolling again, I think we all need to realize, like, hey, you can't wait for shit. | ||
| No. | ||
| Because this can happen. | ||
| Now that we know that this could happen, it doesn't even feel real. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Here we are. | |
| We know it's real. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We know it's real. | ||
| We know you just got an antibody test. | ||
| We know we can't really go anywhere. | ||
| We can't go to restaurants. | ||
| Everything's closed. | ||
| No comedy. | ||
| We know it's real, but it still doesn't feel real. | ||
| It doesn't feel real. | ||
| That's how weird life is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In the moment, baby! | ||
| You don't know what's next. | ||
| You don't know what's next. | ||
| In the moment. | ||
| In the moment. | ||
| Welcome to In the Moment with Owen and Joe. | ||
| Welcome. | ||
| We exist through funding, so please contact our website. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fundings. | |
| Into the moment. | ||
| Into the moment. | ||
| That's a style of radio that you would get. | ||
| When I was delivering newspapers, I would listen to All Things Considered. | ||
| I think it was All Things Considered. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think it was something on NPR. Uh-huh. | ||
| And National Public Radio. | ||
| And they were so calm. | ||
| The way they would talk was so calm. | ||
| I don't know if it was All Things Considered. | ||
| I listened to that later. | ||
| I feel like that was way later. | ||
| But it was whatever those old school type of talk radio, progressive talk radio. | ||
| That's when I knew I was ready to get married when I liked listening to talk radio. | ||
| I was like, when I want to hear people talk, I'm ready for a wife, son. | ||
| Bro, nobody gets more riled up than white dudes who listen to conservative talk radio. | ||
| Those Michael Savage fans, those kind of guys. | ||
| Rush Limbaugh. | ||
| There's something about... | ||
| How did that happen? | ||
| Let's think about how that happened. | ||
| How did that one genre... | ||
| That hardcore, right-wing, real angry... | ||
| It's like alt-radio. | ||
| It's like alt-comics. | ||
| It's like alt-radio. | ||
| They decided... | ||
| It's like a genre of music. | ||
| You know how there's hardcore rap? | ||
| There's metal? | ||
| There's right-wing talk. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| You feel he is, right? | ||
| It kind of is. | ||
| And left-wing talk, too. | ||
| Like, NPR, here, welcome. | ||
| Welcome to our show. | ||
| We're going to tell you about a new scientific experiment that shows that there are no such thing as genders. | ||
| And then right-wing talk. | ||
| Gender is a construct. | ||
| There's a way that they talk. | ||
| There's a calmness to the way they explain things and lay things out that make you seem like there's no ambiguity. | ||
| There's no question whether or not they're right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And here's why. | ||
| And this is what it is. | ||
| And then they always ask for money. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Coronavirus did not come from a lab. | ||
| It's a dangerous conspiracy. | ||
| And here's why. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And here's why. | |
| We talk to, and they always have an expert. | ||
| Are you sure? | ||
| I like it, man. | ||
| It's calming. | ||
| I'm into it. | ||
| Makes you feel good. | ||
| I'm into it. | ||
| Because I grew up listening to, my favorite is like hip hop stations, because they're always very excited. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Put your hands up, like all that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And I love that energy, too. | ||
| But then you get to an age, you're like, I just want to hear some people just talking, man. | ||
| Just talk normal voice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Just talk normal, quiet, I want to fuck you voice. | ||
| That's what that really is. | ||
| I want to fuck you voice, but I'm low-key about it. | ||
| Hello. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Hello. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I love wine. | ||
| I want a show on NPR. What's your favorite region? | ||
| If I had a show on NPR, would you do it? | ||
| Would I do? | ||
| I'd be a guest, yeah, for sure. | ||
| Yeah, good. | ||
| We're talking to Joe Rogan here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We could do like an Onion version of NPR. I love it, man. | |
| Because I'm a sucker. | ||
| I'm all in. | ||
| All animals are equal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We've talked to some animals. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| We feel like they're all equal. | ||
| I do want to do a parody of an NPR show. | ||
| Because now they play dramatic music and shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do they? | |
| When they tell stories. | ||
| Like... | ||
| And you'll be listening to it, and then they'll be like, and then... | ||
| No, no, I'm confusing with The Daily. | ||
| Well, Radio Lab. | ||
| Isn't Radio Lab an NPR show? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is Radio Lab put together by NPR? Mike Barbaro and The Daily, his show, man. | |
| They be playing that dramatic music. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| And then Trump. | ||
| Is it good? | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Yeah, Whitney just told me about The Daily. | ||
| She was posting something about it. | ||
| Here are three things you need to know. | ||
| What's up? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Technically WNYC. I don't know if that's NPR. All right. | |
| WNYC was the fake radio station of news radio. | ||
| Yeah, I'm into it, man. | ||
| When I was on that news radio sitcom. | ||
| New York Public Radio, so it's not national public radio. | ||
| It's quite close, though. | ||
| So it's not NPR, but it's something like that. | ||
| It's some kind of public radio. | ||
| The Cousins. | ||
| Yeah, that's a great show. | ||
| You ever listen to Radiolab? | ||
| No. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| I used to get angry at Brian Count because he would tell me something as if he had gotten it from a book. | ||
| And I go, bitch, I listen to that same Radiolab! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Try to hit me with some scientific facts about what happened in World War II. I go, I listen to Radio Lab, too, bitch! | ||
| Stop! | ||
| Just stop it. | ||
| And you go, damn it! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And I go, Brian, why are you pretending you read? | ||
| Right, pretending to be smart. | ||
| I say read, and I really mean listen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I listen to audiobooks. | |
| Yeah, I was wondering, I was going to ask you that. | ||
| Can you say that, technically? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I do. | |
| I lie. | ||
| It's a lie. | ||
| It's a dirty lie. | ||
| It's in there. | ||
| I read this book. | ||
| I never cracked a fucking page. | ||
| This is the book on Charles Manson, the CIA. This guy, Tom O'Neil, I had him on the podcast last week. | ||
| Bro, this guy spent 20 years researching this book. | ||
| 20 years. | ||
| It's the craziest story just of how the book got created, but the story itself is bonkers. | ||
| They think that Charles Manson was a CIA asset and that they had let him Get away with being released from parole. | ||
| He was on parole and he got arrested. | ||
| They just let him out of jail like multiple times. | ||
| And they had the same LSD studies that they were running in Haight-Ashbury in San Francisco. | ||
| He went to that same clinic. | ||
| The people that did mind control that were a part of MKUltra, that were feeding people LSD and trying to control their mind and manipulate their psychology, they were all connected to him. | ||
| And they kept letting him go. | ||
| They were studying him. | ||
| They wanted to diminish the hippie movement and they wanted to study what it's like when you get some fucking madman who's spent half of his life in penitentiary and you give him a ton of LSD and let him fuck all the hippies he wants. | ||
| Holy shit, dude. | ||
| It's a nutty book, man. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| It is nutty. | ||
| And he details it all. | ||
| There's more than 50 pages of references at the end of this book, citations and references. | ||
| It's all heavily documented. | ||
| It's crazy! | ||
| Is it going to be a movie? | ||
| Did that one fuck you up, Jamie? | ||
| That one fucked me up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm still listening to the book. | |
| I'm on chapter 11, 12, I think. | ||
| Just got through all the MKLT stuff. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Did you get through the one where he was discussing about the guy who they think they fed LSD to and programmed him to go kill that kid? | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Did you get that one? | ||
| He talked about it on the podcast. | ||
| I might be right there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| They did all kinds of experiments on people in the 60s and 70s. | ||
| They just tried shit on people, man. | ||
| They're still probably doing it today. | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| Well, we were showing a video of these British soldiers from 1964 that they gave acid to. | ||
| And they just let them run around the field with fucking guns and they're laughing and falling down and giggling and shit. | ||
| And you can watch the video. | ||
| There's a video. | ||
| It's online. | ||
| Did you fuck with acid? | ||
| I have. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, but I'm not taking it with a gun. | ||
| No. | ||
| With a bunch of other troops. | ||
| No. | ||
| Not only that, like, you're relying on those guys to keep it together on acid with a gun. | ||
| In the hot sun or wherever. | ||
| Oh, fuck that. | ||
| Yo, man. | ||
| How good is this Mike Tyson weed? | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| This is the stoned Owen Smith. | ||
| Look at you. | ||
| I know, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yo, I'm stoned on the internet, baby. | |
| It's legal. | ||
| It's legal. | ||
| We're in California. | ||
| Oh my god, it's crazy. | ||
| I just thought of my mom watching this. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| Tell her you're not breaking the law. | ||
| It's the same as having whiskey. | ||
| Isn't it funny? | ||
| It's like the whiskey part, no problem. | ||
| Right. | ||
| This is great, man. | ||
| As soon as you bust out the weed, they're like, what are they doing? | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| So what's your estimation of when we're going to get out of this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
If you had a guess. | |
| Next year. | ||
| Next year. | ||
| Yeah, because I think it's going to be out and then the resurgence. | ||
| Like it'll be a second wave? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Next year. | ||
| I feel like this time next year. | ||
| That dude who said, we have all been vaccinated. | ||
| Yeah, what's that mean? | ||
| I wish I knew. | ||
| What's he talking about? | ||
| I wish I knew he was joking around or not. | ||
| I mean, he might have been. | ||
| I'm pretty adamant that he wasn't, but I'm an idiot. | ||
| He might have been joking around. | ||
| It didn't sound like he was joking around. | ||
| It didn't sound like he had a command of it. | ||
| It didn't sound like he was joking around, but I don't know that dude's personality, right? | ||
| That might be that thing that he does. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, Callan does a lot of that. | ||
| Callan will say jokes that sound like statements. | ||
| He does that all the time. | ||
| You know? | ||
| He's a funny... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know either. | ||
| So you think next year? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Like you said, though, too, because it's like, what's next, you know? | ||
| Is there going to be a gap between what this is and what's next? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Provided that there is nothing next, I feel like, next year. | ||
| Just because we're... | ||
| Even how they're talking about how you can go to concerts, but you're still up to six feet apart. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that's not going to stop by the end of this year. | ||
| That's going to be something that, you know... | ||
| Unless they do come up with a vaccine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Or some sort of a really, really efficient treatment, right? | ||
| Like some sort of treatment. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I do think it... | ||
| I mean, they're hinting at saying it helps if you're healthier, if you do work out. | ||
| And all the things that we, as a collective society, should have been doing may start to take precedence. | ||
| But I feel like... | ||
| As far as what our livelihood is concerned about performing in front of people again, I feel like next year, because it's two-sided, it's us wanting to be on stage and then the audience feeling safe being there. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| So I think it's going to be safe. | ||
| Next year? | ||
| I think. | ||
| How many people are going to fall apart? | ||
| How are comics going to make a living? | ||
| Like guys who are doing the road, like middle acts? | ||
| That's a great question. | ||
| I know, man. | ||
| Like, we don't know yet. | ||
| Right now, everybody's sort of floating, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's been a month, and everybody's like, whoa. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everyone's just sort of floating. | ||
| Like, what happens to those people that were, they had a system, they were doing good, then all of a sudden the rug gets pulled out from under them? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| I thought if I got you high, you'd have all the answers. | ||
| I do have, I have some answers, but what they need to do, brother Joe. | ||
| Yeah, I think they, I didn't think of that, man. | ||
| Check to checking it. | ||
| You can... | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| Have you ever been contacted about doing anything online? | ||
| Being funny online? | ||
| Those things are preposterous. | ||
| I said I want to donate. | ||
| I'll give you money. | ||
| I know they're trying to raise money. | ||
| I'll just give you money. | ||
| How much do you need? | ||
| Clusterfuck. | ||
| I'd love to do a show. | ||
| Once we're back, I'll do shows for free. | ||
| I'd be happy to do that. | ||
| I'd be happy to do a bunch of shows. | ||
| I want to be able to do that. | ||
| As well as donate. | ||
| I'd love to be able to, if someone had a Problem. | ||
| I'd love to be able to sell out the Comedy Store and give them that money. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's a nice feeling, too, because there's shows that you do where it benefits people. | ||
| There's an extra nice feeling. | ||
| So you get the nice feeling of the show, like doing your bits. | ||
| The bits make everybody laugh. | ||
| You get all that nice feeling, and then you get the nice feeling of that all went to a good thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| It feels great, man. | ||
| Charity shows are like my favorite shows because of just the way they make you feel. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, this is cool. | ||
| We all got together, made some money for this charity, and had fun. | ||
| And then it helps. | ||
| The money goes to a good cause. | ||
| We should do a lot of those, man. | ||
| I'm down to do them all the time. | ||
| I should probably figure out one to do a week once we get cracking again. | ||
| And just do one a week that's just a benefit for something. | ||
| We'll figure something out. | ||
| The day I can sell out something off my name, I'm going to be doing that a lot. | ||
| That's not gonna be far. | ||
| As soon as people see. | ||
| You're in a weird position, man, where you have this incredible act, but people don't know it. | ||
| It's a sneaky thing. | ||
| The hardest part is being funny. | ||
| You've got that. | ||
| You just spent so much time writing. | ||
| Doing commercials. | ||
| Yeah, well you spend so much time where you're in the machine and not just fully dedicated to being out there as a comic. | ||
| What if somebody wants to, what if a network wants to pick up notebooks? | ||
| Should I do it or should I stay on YouTube? | ||
| If they want to give you money, do it. | ||
| As long as there's enough money. | ||
| You could definitely do whatever you want if it's on YouTube and it should probably make some money. | ||
| Once people become more aware of it and people start downloading a lot of them, they're funny, man. | ||
| And it's also, everybody's got something from when they started. | ||
| And it's good for people to see that People that you see with a full Netflix special now, at one point in time, were terrible. | ||
| Garbage! | ||
| I was garbage. | ||
| But that's how you get better at it. | ||
| You've got to keep doing it. | ||
| There's no other way around it. | ||
| That's one of the things that I like about it, is in a lot of ways, comedy's a real meritocracy. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Like, if people laugh, if they enjoy your stuff, then it works, and then it continues, and people keep coming to your shows, and you keep having fun. | ||
| There's a reward to that kind of a thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Especially when you don't have any collaborators, just putting it together yourself. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But now we'll appreciate it more. | ||
| Yeah, that's very true. | ||
| I appreciate it. | ||
| I just hope the clubs will be here when everything's said and done. | ||
| That's the real scary thing, is how many of these businesses are going to go under. | ||
| They will exist after this. | ||
| Yeah, well, plan on doing a lot of free shows. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Alright, let's wrap it up. | ||
| It's been fun, man. | ||
| Always, brother, always. | ||
| Owen Smith TV on YouTube. | ||
| Owen Smith TV on YouTube. | ||
| Subscribe, hit the notification. | ||
| Shows called The Notebooks. | ||
| Notebooks, No Ladies. | ||
| It's not like that movie that makes you cry. | ||
| You can't even take that. | ||
| You can't even take that name. | ||
| What is all your Instagram? | ||
| TextOwen.com to text me, literally. | ||
| And then Owen Smith for real on everything else. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Thanks, sir. | ||
| Always a pleasure, my brother. |
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