Feb. 4, 2020 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:05:29
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Three, two, one. | ||
| Vancouver, April 20th. | ||
| We're doing a 420 show. | ||
| Chito Santino, Andrew Santino, Tony Hinchcliffe, and me at some big-ass arena. | ||
| Go to JoeRogan.com. | ||
| We're doing every year. | ||
| Hi, Jimmy. | ||
| Hi, buddy. | ||
| I do a 420 show. | ||
| No headphones? | ||
| You want to do headphones or no headphones? | ||
| I don't mind doing it. | ||
| Casual? | ||
| No, I don't... | ||
| You do that weird thing with one in, one out? | ||
| Well, I have to. | ||
| I'm claustrophobic. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, it feels weird. | ||
| You feel like the headphones are trapping you? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I feel like I'm underwater. | ||
| Like, I don't like the way that sounds. | ||
| And now I know that's better. | ||
| I look like an asshole, but it feels better. | ||
| A lot of people do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| A lot of musicians do that. | ||
| They do like one in, one out. | ||
| It's the air. | ||
| It's feeling the air. | ||
| I don't know why the pressure of the headphones. | ||
| I just don't like it. | ||
| I like to be trapped. | ||
| You do? | ||
| Trapped in the headphones. | ||
| I don't care for it at all. | ||
| I like hearing the other person's voice right next to mine so I don't talk louder than they talk. | ||
| We don't talk over each other. | ||
| That's what it does. | ||
| That's professional, but I can't... | ||
| Howard, I heard, would do it where they wouldn't even look at each other. | ||
| I have to be in the room looking at the person's mouth. | ||
| I don't like to do it. | ||
| You wouldn't look at each other. | ||
| No, meaning the way they were set up for the cameras, sometimes you're facing both kind of the same way because of the cameras. | ||
| They weren't always, I don't think, face-to-face. | ||
| If you looked at his old setup, wasn't Artie sitting behind him at one point? | ||
| Yeah, Artie was sitting to the side of him, and then the guest was over there. | ||
| Yeah, I could never do that. | ||
| Well, you know, Howard also runs a board. | ||
| That's the difference. | ||
| Like, he's got a bunch of shit in front of him. | ||
| He's actually a trained radio guy. | ||
| He knows all the Jamie shit. | ||
| He knows all them switches, all that fancy stuff over there. | ||
| Yeah, I have no idea what the fuck's going on over there. | ||
| I can basically set... | ||
| I can start and stop, but I hate running the board. | ||
| It's distracting, and I don't like doing it. | ||
| It just doesn't feel fun. | ||
| You know, what's crazy is they have full setups now for podcasts, like a podcast board that you buy. | ||
| Like, it's set up for podcasts. | ||
| You just plug mics into it, and it's all kind of there. | ||
| Do they have audio compression on those things, too? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| It's called, like, the Podcaster Pro or something like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's in the name, yeah. | |
| You can put a phone into it for calls. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Calls. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| In case you want to take calls. | ||
| I like being live. | ||
| We're live now, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I like being live. | ||
| Right now on this? | ||
| No. | ||
| We're not live anymore. | ||
| Oh, you don't do live anymore? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Because I always like the feeling of live because if you fuck up, it's out there. | ||
| No, there was companies that were taking clips as we were live and uploading them immediately and building these huge channels with hundreds of thousands of subscribers. | ||
| And you could use that for anything. | ||
| They were selling things. | ||
| They had links to stuff. | ||
| They're basically building a business off of your clips. | ||
| So you've got to be a little bit more... | ||
| You can't let that happen because you also don't know what they're going to turn that channel into. | ||
| They could turn that channel into anything. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's... | |
| YouTube is still a little bit of like a Wild West sort of situation. | ||
| Then there was also copyright issues. | ||
| Like, you get three copyright flags in a row. | ||
| They take your whole channel down. | ||
| And we had gotten a bunch of them. | ||
| We've gotten them for clips that we show. | ||
| We've gotten them for pictures. | ||
| Like, you have to try to figure out, like, what are you allowed to do? | ||
| What are you not allowed to do? | ||
| What's fair use? | ||
| And, like, does fair use mean they just don't come after you for it? | ||
| Like, I don't know what it means either. | ||
| It's not that clearly defined, unfortunately. | ||
| But it's also, you know, like... | ||
| The internet in general, at one point in time, if you went to YouTube, you would find all kinds of shit that was on people's channels that was copyright-protected stuff. | ||
| TV shows, movies, music, all kinds of stuff. | ||
| And they've slowly started, you know, not really slowly. | ||
| Is it accurate to say? | ||
| They've kind of eliminated a lot of that stuff now. | ||
| But they're operating at an insane scale. | ||
| Like, the amount of people that upload stuff to YouTube every day, it's probably unimaginable. | ||
| Like, if you could see it. | ||
| You can't keep up with it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| If you had a giant screen in front of you, and you saw all the videos that are being instantly uploaded to YouTube at any given moment, you'd probably be like, what? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, there was some crazy quote. | ||
| That there's more content created today. | ||
| Like, I think, what is the number? | ||
| It's almost like in one day, there's more content being created than in all of human history before like 10 years ago. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, how many podcasts are there? | ||
| Isn't there a couple hundred thousand podcasts for a while? | ||
| 700,000? | ||
| 700,000 podcasts. | ||
| Yeah, it's also, I don't know how they keep up with what you're allowed to put on, what you're not. | ||
| If somebody doesn't complain, do they catch it and pull it off? | ||
| Or the algorithms catch it and pull it off? | ||
| Sometimes, yeah. | ||
| Here, what is this? | ||
| Every minute of the day. | ||
| There's like all these things are happening every minute of the day. | ||
| 4,166,000 users like posts on Facebook. | ||
| But what is the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
YouTube right here. | |
| 300 hours is uploaded every minute. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But what about the thing about data? | ||
| Like the amount of data that people produce today... | ||
| It's something like that. | ||
| I think it's like one days where the data is equivalent to the entire human history up until like 20 years ago or something like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| Ad block. | ||
| They gotcha. | ||
| What does it say here? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's see if they have that quote. | |
| Does it say that? | ||
| I know what you're talking about. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| It's a nutty quote. | ||
| More than 3.7 billion humans use the internet. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Who's it? | ||
| Is there people out there with no internet? | ||
| You know, do you know who Don Gavin is? | ||
| Funny you say Don Gavin. | ||
| I literally, I know who he is from all of you guys. | ||
| The Boston guys love him. | ||
| I just got him on Spotify because I've seen clips and I'm like, Dane Cook put something up that Gavin is re-releasing an album. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So I'm like, I want to hear him really do stand-up because I've really never watched him. | ||
| He's so fucking funny. | ||
| He's really good. | ||
| Oh, he's great. | ||
| Yeah, but I never sat down and watched him do a set. | ||
| Back in the day, he was the king. | ||
| Like, when we were in Boston, you'd just sit back and you'd go, oh my gosh, I should quit. | ||
| I should quit doing comedy. | ||
| He was so good. | ||
| And he never sent a text in his life until he texted me to be on the show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| His first text was to you? | ||
| Yeah, he's like, it took me about an hour and a half. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck I'm doing here. | ||
| Yeah, he's so old school. | ||
| He just calls people. | ||
| And he had never sent a text. | ||
| Bob Kelly's like that though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Some guys are phone guys. | ||
| Bob Kelly's a phone guy. | ||
| Like you'll text him and you just won't hear back and he likes to fucking talk on the phone. | ||
| I hate it. | ||
| Joey Diaz does that too. | ||
| He's a phone guy. | ||
| Yeah, but Joey has a logic to it. | ||
| He goes, I want to hear your voice. | ||
| He goes, I'm insecure. | ||
| I don't want to see no fucking text message. | ||
| He goes, I don't know what that is. | ||
| What are you saying? | ||
| I want to hear your voice. | ||
| I want to hear the love in your voice. | ||
| Okay, that makes sense. | ||
| It's also a great way to not have things recorded if you don't want them actually in print. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Bobby just liked the phone. | ||
| I hate it. | ||
| It drives me nuts, too. | ||
| Really? | ||
| No, my phone's always on silent. | ||
| One too many times I was in a relationship, fucking three in the morning. | ||
| You're getting a vibration. | ||
| I'm like, fuck. | ||
| So my phone's been on silent for ten years. | ||
| Ten years. | ||
| Yeah, ten years of silence. | ||
| Ten years. | ||
| Hiding from that ring. | ||
| Ringers are gross. | ||
| When you hear someone in a fucking restaurant... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get the fuck out of here with that thing. | |
| But isn't it great watching somebody panic and go into their purse? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You ever watch somebody panic and reach for their phone? | ||
| That's a justified reaction. | ||
| When you're fucking panicking and going for your stuff, I kind of appreciate that. | ||
| Dude, I was just thinking before you sat down, we've known each other for so long, and now we're like these old men on the radio. | ||
| We've known each other since we were kids. | ||
| Like, when I first met you, we were both in our 20s, Early 20s. | ||
| Young comics. | ||
| Hanging around in New York. | ||
| And now we're old. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We are old. | ||
| We're old men. | ||
| We did a gig together. | ||
| And I remember it specifically. | ||
| I think you featured, actually. | ||
| I think I was the host of you with a feature. | ||
| And you were doing a bit about Tyson and Robin Givens. | ||
| And I want to say it was 1992. Up in the... | ||
| Mountains in Jersey for a guy named Pat Guarini. | ||
| I could be incorrect, but I think it was around... | ||
| Lake Apacon it might have been, 1992. But I'm pretty sure that was the year. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| Did a lot of gigs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's hard to remember. | ||
| And you were close with a guy named John Tobin, who I remember well. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's... | ||
| The passage of time is a strange thing, man. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| Because most of the time, it doesn't seem like it's anything significant. | ||
| It's just life. | ||
| You get up when the alarm goes off, you eat breakfast, you put your clothes on. | ||
| But then one day, you're hanging out with someone like you, that I only get to see you once a year, maybe twice a year. | ||
| And then I'm like, oh yeah, look, we're old. | ||
| The world keeps going. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You keep on aging. | ||
| But do you mind it? | ||
| I don't mind it because the more people you know that die, as you get older and they start dying, not just from unnatural causes, but natural causes, you're like, fuck, I guess. | ||
| Whenever people die now, as much as it's sad, I'm always like, okay, that's one more person I lasted longer than. | ||
| And it's not that I'm happy to see them go. | ||
| I know what you're saying. | ||
| Count your blessings. | ||
| Count your blessings, man. | ||
| I'm winding my life down. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta count your blessings. | ||
| It's one of those things where it's so easy to get complacent. | ||
| It's so easy to not appreciate things. | ||
| It's so easy. | ||
| Yeah, I look around my life sometimes, and you get depressed, and you look, and you're like, what am I complaining? | ||
| I have everything I wanted. | ||
| Like, if you told 18-year-old Jimmy Norton that he would be complaining about this, I would have spit on myself. | ||
| Well, it's like what we were talking about before the show, that there was these people on a show, and they weren't making as much as the lead guy who was this famous guy, and they were really pissed off at him and complaining, and then they eventually fucked the guy over, and the show got canceled. | ||
| Now they don't have anything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You don't realize how good it is because everyone's comparing themselves to other folks. | ||
| They're comparing themselves to other people that they're around or other people that they're with. | ||
| I remember I was reading something about Iran Barkley. | ||
| Do you remember who he is? | ||
| I do, yeah. | ||
| Former middleweight boxing champion, bad motherfucker. | ||
| Iran Barkley went broke even though he made millions of dollars because he was hanging out with all these pro athletes. | ||
| Everybody's just outdoing everybody. | ||
| Everybody's getting a Lamborghini or a gold chain that's bigger than the other guy's gold chain or a bigger house or bigger this or bigger that. | ||
| And the next thing you know, you're broke. | ||
| You spent it all. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you're like, fuck. | ||
| And it's just this, it's all relative. | ||
| Like, even though you've got things great, you don't have it as great as that guy over there. | ||
| So comparatively, you feel like a loser. | ||
| But you gotta know where you're at, too. | ||
| Getting fired from me, when we got kicked off Opie and Anthony in 2002, best thing that ever happened to me. | ||
| Because it showed me that it could all be taken away from you. | ||
| So long before this whole culture of just cancel culture and all this shit happened, I had had that moment of life is good and then you're out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck you. | |
| That was the Condoleezza Rice thing, right? | ||
| No, that was on XM. That's when we almost got fired from Satellite. | ||
| No, this was Sex for Sam on Terrestrial. | ||
| This is WNEW. Oh, that's when you guys get fired because you had the people and they had sex in a... | ||
| Anal sex in St. Pat's, yeah. | ||
| So that was two years off the air, but that showed me that they can take anything at any time. | ||
| So I've never thought I was irreplaceable. | ||
| I never think I got it forever. | ||
| Anything I have I know can be fucking yanked immediately. | ||
| Yeah, no, it definitely can. | ||
| That was a weird one to me, because the big thing was that these people had sex in a Catholic cathedral. | ||
| That was the big reason why they got fired, right? | ||
| Because they didn't ask these people to do it in there, did they? | ||
| Yeah, it was kind of a contest. | ||
| It was known. | ||
| Like, you would get what they call a two-point conversion if you had anal. | ||
| Like, there was all these weird things. | ||
| And it was a bad move to go into St. Pat's. | ||
| They went into St. Pat's, and there was an arrest. | ||
| And because there was an arrest... | ||
| It became real, and it was so avoidable on so many levels. | ||
| Like so many things. | ||
| Yeah, you look back, you're like, why did we just shut the fuck up and it would have stopped? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, why did we push it? | ||
| But, you know, I'm glad it happened now in hindsight. | ||
| Well, you know, in a lot of ways, there's this thing that people do. | ||
| You know, we were talking about Ari before the podcast, where you do things you're not supposed to do, so people go, I can't believe you're doing that. | ||
| And then there's this, like, thrill to that. | ||
| There's a thrill to it and then what happens is you have to keep upping it. | ||
| You have to keep upping it. | ||
| And it's almost like you get a fear, like if I don't top last time, the people who like me are no longer going to like me and I'm going to lose this momentum I've picked up. | ||
| You become afraid that the people who like you are going to go, you're a fraud. | ||
| You're not doing what we want you to do. | ||
| So then you keep topping yourself and keep topping yourself. | ||
| It's like the kid who eats bugs. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Then he's eating a roach. | ||
| And the next thing you know, he's doing this because he's afraid of not topping himself and then all of a sudden being ignored. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like Pat. | ||
| Like the intern Pat? | ||
| Oh, yes. | ||
| Pat Duffy. | ||
| Pat Duffy. | ||
| Best. | ||
| He ate cat shit. | ||
| He drank people's vomit. | ||
| He was literally an indestructible fucking man. | ||
| If you have to build a guy in the military, he's the type of mentality you want. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| You want to get him when he's 18 and just turn him into a full sicko. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Savage. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| What is he doing these days? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I haven't talked to him. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| What about Pat from Wunaki? | ||
| You know, I thought of him recently. | ||
| He's on Twitter. | ||
| I don't know exactly what he's doing. | ||
| I would love to have him. | ||
| Yeah, Pat Philbin, his name is. | ||
| I would love to have him on to our radio show because I miss Pat from Wunaki a lot. | ||
| Dude, that day where he did the Baby Bird, the day where they had the eggnog drink contest, it was you and me and Burr and Ari and there was a couple other people in the studio as well. | ||
| That was one of my most fun times ever on the radio. | ||
| It was so ridiculous. | ||
| The whole floor. | ||
| You could never do that today. | ||
| Never. | ||
| Never in a million years. | ||
| We were in Opie and Anthony in the studio. | ||
| The floor was covered in plastic bags because Opie and Anthony had an eggnog eating contest and everyone would throw up. | ||
| You'd get to a certain level of eggnog where you just couldn't take it anymore. | ||
| And Pat had to throw up because he was diabetic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So he shouldn't have been drinking that anyway. | ||
| No, he shouldn't have. | ||
| So he's drinking gallons and gallons of eggnog. | ||
| And when he threw it up, we said, like, he was ready to go, and I said, let's get Pat Duffy to lean his head. | ||
| Was that your suggestion? | ||
| Yes, I was doing Fear Factor back then. | ||
| My head was all full of sick things. | ||
| That was like... | ||
| What year was that? | ||
| 2003? | ||
| I want to say 2007. Was it really? | ||
| Yeah, that was on K-Rock. | ||
| That was on a terrestrial studio. | ||
| Was it seven? | ||
| I'm thinking it was. | ||
| Yeah, it definitely was in three because we weren't on the radio then. | ||
| Oh, right, right, right. | ||
| So he leans his head over this garbage pail and Pat Fumaki blows Just like us a fountain like the most insane Stephen King Like what was that movie stand by me remember the kid had the pie eating contest the kids throw That's what it was like Literally didn't seem humanly possible that a person could have that much fluid in their body. | ||
| And then when he was ejecting it, it was like a cartoon. | ||
| He's doing it in Pat's face. | ||
| 2006. 2006. It was 2006. Wow. | ||
| And I can't believe it. | ||
| I used to forget that Burr was there that day. | ||
| Yeah, we were all there, man. | ||
| It's one of those things you're glad you're a part of, right? | ||
| Like, I'm happy I was there for that. | ||
| I was happy I got to see that. | ||
| It was so fun. | ||
| That show, when it was in its prime, when it was in its peak, was so fun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And it was a hang. | ||
| And it really influenced, in a lot of ways, the way I do podcasts. | ||
| Because it's... | ||
| There's no structure. | ||
| It's just hanging out with funny people. | ||
| Just talking about stuff. | ||
| No structure. | ||
| Yeah, just bullshitting. | ||
| Wherever it goes, it goes. | ||
| I mean, it'll always go somewhere. | ||
| I mean, you get people having a conversation. | ||
| It's always going to flow somewhere. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It doesn't have to be controlled and regimented. | ||
| And what do you want to talk? | ||
| Is there anything worse when you go to a radio show? | ||
| Like, what do you want to... | ||
| Dude, I've done radio shows where they tell you they want you to bring up certain subjects where you have jokes. | ||
| Not even that long ago, man, less than 10 years ago, I did one of those national radio shows in the Midwest, and they asked me to do that. | ||
| And I was like, what? | ||
| And the producer got upset. | ||
| And I go, I don't do that. | ||
| I go, I'm not going to do that. | ||
| And they're like, we need subjects. | ||
| The guy was pissy with me. | ||
| I'm like, I don't know. | ||
| It's hard to do because you feel embarrassed. | ||
| You feel dirty when someone's doing your bit and you know you're doing it. | ||
| They're fake laughing. | ||
| Who's enjoying this? | ||
| That's what radio used to be, though. | ||
| What radio used to be. | ||
| You'd go on WAAF in Boston and you would talk to the guys and you would kind of work in your bits. | ||
| Everybody did it. | ||
| Everybody did their bits. | ||
| Yeah, I guess it was a part of it, but I was never good at it. | ||
| Well, because you're authentic. | ||
| But Opie and Anthony was the first to meet. | ||
| Howard's show was much more controlled. | ||
| Howard's behind the mixer. | ||
| He's kind of controlling everything. | ||
| There was a certain amount of time that he would talk to you, and then other people would come in. | ||
| He had like a... | ||
| More of a structure. | ||
| Whereas ONA, you would go in there and Anthony would have a gun and fucking, you know, Opie's behind the mixer just sort of watching all this chaos go on, different comics come filtering in and, you know, remember the time Marion Barry walked in? | ||
| Yeah, he was going on Sway next door, and he was a little out of it and loopy, and we just hijacked him. | ||
| And he kind of walked in like he had no idea who we were. | ||
| It was really uncomfortable. | ||
| And I knew he was going to leave soon, so I immediately started asking him about crack. | ||
| You went right in until you knew it was in that pipe. | ||
| He was like, nobody knows what's in that pipe. | ||
| I go, nobody knows what's in that pipe. | ||
| I'm like, you knew what's in that pipe. | ||
| The fuck are you talking about, man? | ||
| And the publicist was like, come on, let's go. | ||
| They wanted to get him out of there. | ||
| They wanted to get him out of there immediately. | ||
| Yeah, that was fun. | ||
| Marion Barry, he died not too long after that, I don't think, right? | ||
| It wasn't that long after that, yeah. | ||
| It was funny, man. | ||
| I remember there was an interview they did where there was a news station. | ||
| They were talking to people about his arrest and all this stuff. | ||
| And they interviewed this guy. | ||
| He goes, oh, come on, man. | ||
| Everybody smokes a little crack every now and then. | ||
| I'm like, everybody smokes a little crack every now and then. | ||
| That's a great quote from a mayor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's a great mayor's quote. | ||
| It wasn't him, though. | ||
| He wasn't saying it. | ||
| Someone else was saying it in defense of him. | ||
| If it was him saying that, that would be hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, I'm like, how did I miss that? | ||
| No, it was another guy that was on the street who was like, everybody smokes a little crack every now and then. | ||
| Did he get reelected after that, too? | ||
| Yes, he did. | ||
| I think he went to jail, came out, and got reelected. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| People at DC, very forgiving. | ||
| LOL. Yeah. | ||
| Very forgiving. | ||
| Strange fucking place, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Strange fucking place. | |
| So how do you handle this, man? | ||
| This whole culture we're in, it's not scary. | ||
| It's more irritating. | ||
| Like, anything you say... | ||
| People who are looking to... | ||
| I don't mean if you say something horrible, they're going to react like you said something horrible. | ||
| Anything you say, people are looking for a reason. | ||
| Like, they're looking for something because the high that they get is by going after you. | ||
| And they don't even know that they're high doing it. | ||
| Did you see that lady that was talking about the Kobe Bryant death and she accidentally said the N-word? | ||
| Oh, she said Nakers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nakers. | ||
| Yeah, she was trying to... | ||
| She thought she was either saying the Knicks or the Lakers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And she said the Nakers... | ||
| Yeah, I think she said the N-word, but she said she said Nakers, but I think she said the N-word. | ||
| I think it just, it's almost like it's so taboo that it's in people's heads. | ||
| Like on Martin Luther King's birthday, there's always an anchor that gets fired because he can't remember that Martin Luther King Jr. are all separate words and you should not conflate the last two or you're going to get fucking fired. | ||
| King and Jr., they put it together too fast and it comes out wrong. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's what happens. | ||
| That happens all the time. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| The word coon is such a weird one, too, because who the fuck calls black people coons? | ||
| That's a really old school, weird one. | ||
| Old, southern, weird, racist one. | ||
| That's a strange one. | ||
| It was a known insult when I was a kid, but I don't even know if that was one I even heard when I was a kid. | ||
| I definitely have heard it. | ||
| I definitely heard it in pool halls. | ||
| I definitely heard it, but it was from old dudes. | ||
| It was like an old dude thing, like guys in their fucking 60s and shit. | ||
| But I had a friend who has severe anxiety issues. | ||
| He has panic attacks, and he eventually had to quit doing stand-up. | ||
| So he was doing the warm-up for the Bill Cosby show, okay? | ||
| He is doing the thing and talking to people in the crowd, and Bill Cosby's obviously super squeaky clean show, and the warm-up has to be squeaky clean, and while he's walking around the crowd, he has this unstoppable thought in his head, don't say the N-word. | ||
| Don't say it. | ||
| Just don't say that word. | ||
| And he said, I'm sweating. | ||
| He goes, sweat is pouring down the sides of my face. | ||
| My hands are shaking and I'm so terrified. | ||
| All I could think of is don't say that word. | ||
| Don't say that. | ||
| He goes, I never say that word. | ||
| I never say that word. | ||
| But his brain, because he has anxiety issues and he's got... | ||
| OCD and a bunch of different, like, he's got mental issues. | ||
| He was paralyzed and feeling. | ||
| He had a full-blown panic attack. | ||
| So here he is doing a warm-up. | ||
| He can't even talk. | ||
| And he's got a microphone. | ||
| And he's standing around these people. | ||
| And then he's becoming ruthlessly conscious of the fact that all these people are watching him. | ||
| And he's like, holy fuck. | ||
| I can't do this. | ||
| And he's like, his heart is beaten out of his chest. | ||
| And he's like, the only victory was that I didn't say the word. | ||
| The only victory. | ||
| That was what I was really hoping this story would end, too. | ||
| I was hoping that was in the introduction and he lost everything. | ||
| But yeah, sometimes if you focus on something that you can't say, and I think these anchors get caught up. | ||
| The woman when Kobe died, I also think that she was just panicking. | ||
| But if you're panicking and that word drops out, like Lakers does this. | ||
| Can we hear it? | ||
| I don't want to give any more heat on that. | ||
| I don't want to make that lady feel bad. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| We don't have to hear it. | ||
| Poor lady. | ||
| I don't think she meant it. | ||
| No. | ||
| No anchor means to say that. | ||
| Unless. | ||
| Live. | ||
| I mean, imagine she leaves that and then she fucking dons a hood and she's like, this is me all along, you fucks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I had this guy in here the other day, Daryl Davis, who's this guy right here. | ||
| I saw his picture, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, this is his music. | ||
| He's converted 200 different KKK and Nazis to leave the organization. | ||
| 200. By just hanging out with them, being friends with them. | ||
| Just getting to know them. | ||
| And a lot of people were like, I never really sat down and had a drink with a black guy before. | ||
| He's like, how is that possible? | ||
| How is that possible? | ||
| And he's a musician by trade. | ||
| I mean, that's what he is, a really good musician. | ||
| And just by doing that, just by getting to know these people, they just were afraid. | ||
| They didn't know any people. | ||
| And he's super articulate as well. | ||
| So talking to him, you realize, oh, this guy's really smart. | ||
| And if you talk to him time after time after time, hours after hours after, you realize, this guy's fucking smarter than me. | ||
| So when you're doing that, you're realizing, oh, There's no way black people can be inferior. | ||
| This is nonsense. | ||
| This guy's a black guy right in front of me right now, and he's talking, using words that I barely understand. | ||
| That's how the guy in the Klan would say. | ||
| That's how the guy in the Klan felt. | ||
| And after a while, he asked him to come to his house, and he said, I'm quitting. | ||
| I'm quitting the Klan. | ||
| He gave him his robe. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, so he collects robes now. | ||
| He came in, he brought like Grand Wizard robes and Grand Dragon robes. | ||
| He had a Nazi outfit. | ||
| He had Nazi flags the guys have given him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you know when I was a teenager, I was drinking, and I remember I was so anti-Klan. | ||
| I had read some book on the Ku Klux Klan, and it was the preacher for the Klan. | ||
| His name was in the book. | ||
| So I called the information. | ||
| I called the FBI, and I tried to stop a Klan rally, but I called this guy at home, this Klan preacher. | ||
| And I started, you know, That's wrong! | ||
| You're a racist! | ||
| You know, I was 14. And he told me, I left the Klan. | ||
| I'm not in the Klan anymore. | ||
| And he actually talked to me for a few minutes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah, but I was before you could, you know, I was fucking just 14 and drunk and trying to make a difference. | ||
| How cool is that, though, that he talked to you? | ||
| He did talk to me, yeah. | ||
| And I'll never forget it. | ||
| My father, I think, knew I was drinking afterwards because he heard some of the conversation. | ||
| But I think it started with me calling the FBI. You called the FBI a few times back then. | ||
| You called the FBI? That's what I would do when I drank. | ||
| Yeah, I was a fucking crazy person. | ||
| I called the FBI. I remember when I met you, like, fuck, we were probably early 20s, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| And I was like, why'd you quit drinking? | ||
| And you're like, why'd you quit doing drugs? | ||
| And you're like, I had to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I called a bomb threat into my high school. | ||
| I remember I cleared the high school. | ||
| I did that when I was... | ||
| I want to say I was 17 or 18 and we used to get drunk in my friend's house and there was some number that you could call for help from nuns. | ||
| So I would have my friends sitting around and I would always call up and pretend that I would make up these horrible incest stories and terrible sexual things that were happening to me and my fucking friends would be laughing and the nuns would be trying to counsel me on the phone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, Jesus. | |
| And then I called a bomb threat... | ||
| I did it a couple of times and it didn't work. | ||
| And the third time I did it, the final time I did it, they actually had people leave the school and go outside while they searched the school. | ||
| Drunk bomb threats. | ||
| Didn't fucking T.J. Miller do that recently? | ||
| It was something with him on a train, but it wasn't a threat. | ||
| I think he had something with a woman. | ||
| But didn't he call a bomb threat in? | ||
| I don't know if it was a threat or if he thought she really had one. | ||
| I never got the full story. | ||
| He thought she really had one? | ||
| I bet I don't know. | ||
| I remember reading it and I don't remember what the conclusion was. | ||
| If you're really fucked up and you think somebody might have a bomb, like paranoia, like full-blown paranoia. | ||
| I remember Jim Brewer, of course, who's a legendary pothead, and one time he quit, and he quit for quite a while. | ||
| And I said, well, why? | ||
| Why'd you quit? | ||
| He goes, dude, I started getting really paranoid. | ||
| Like paranoid that people were listening to me and people were following me and watching me. | ||
| He goes, it was not healthy. | ||
| It was not good. | ||
| And, you know, I wonder about that. | ||
| Like, when you perturb normal states of consciousness, when you take, like, the normal way you are and you start changing it a little bit with a little bit of booze, a little bit of booze, a little bit of anxiety, a little bit of depression, a little bit of bad things, a little bit of this, a little bit of that. | ||
| I'll take a little Xanax, take the edge off. | ||
| Then I'll take a Valium so I can go to sleep. | ||
| Then I'll take an Ambien if the Valium doesn't work. | ||
| And you keep going and going and going and going. | ||
| You know how there's certain things you can do that can give you arthritis, right? | ||
| There's certain things that corrode your joints. | ||
| There's certain things you can do that make you tired. | ||
| The more chemicals you insert into your body, the more things you do, the more you shift. | ||
| from like your comfortable baseline of who you are when you're at your healthiest. | ||
| You change. | ||
| You become a different thing. | ||
| And I think pot is just as likely to do that as anything. | ||
| If you're doing it the wrong way, if you abuse it, I think alcohol can do it. | ||
| I think pot can do it. | ||
| Pills, speed, I think all those things can surely do it. | ||
| But it's strange to see when someone starts to slip away and they start to go towards it's like very strange version of themselves that you know they don't have control anymore. | ||
| Is that how you felt when you were a kid? | ||
| Yeah, from a very young age. | ||
| It was weird, but I was very addicted. | ||
| It was sexual addiction first. | ||
| That was the first one. | ||
| Sexual addiction was first? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But you were drinking when you were 13, you said. | ||
| Yeah, but I mean, I was a child. | ||
| I was sexually active as a kid. | ||
| I've 10 sexual partners before fourth grade. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I've never told you that? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| How was that possible? | ||
| I was blowing all my friends. | ||
| I was a fucking... | ||
| I couldn't stop. | ||
| How did that get started? | ||
| You know, I don't remember the first one, but I remember there's a picture... | ||
| I can date it because there's a picture of me when I was a kid when I split my head open. | ||
| And I remember I split my head open running from the boy who was a year older than me. | ||
| And I used to blow him, but I was scared of him. | ||
| He terrorized me, but I would... | ||
| I remember him trying to fuck me once too, but I couldn't do it. | ||
| I vaguely remember I was in the hallway and my pants were down. | ||
| And his fucking dick always smelled like fucking mothballs. | ||
| Dude, he wore fucking Budweiser bathing trunks. | ||
| They had Budweiser on them, and he wore Budweiser bathing trunks. | ||
| So do you have, like, mothballs in his drawer, his dresser drawer? | ||
| He must have, but that smell is a visceral memory I have of that. | ||
| He's the kid that pissed in my mouth. | ||
| I fucking... | ||
| I was in a public pool in Edison, New Jersey. | ||
| This is how young I was. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| So I went and I was blowing him underwater. | ||
| And then he goes, I popped up because he pissed in my mouth. | ||
| So I popped up. | ||
| I'm like, don't do that anymore. | ||
| And he went, all right. | ||
| I put my foot down and then went back and he did it again. | ||
| So I stopped blowing him at that moment. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| He pissed in my mouth twice in the pool. | ||
| Dude, that is hilarious. | ||
| So you were blowing him in the pool? | ||
| Yeah, I didn't think people could see me. | ||
| Underwater? | ||
| I was so young. | ||
| If I can't see them, they can't see me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| The photo I have with the split on my head is 1973. So I was five. | ||
| So I know at that age, I was already involved. | ||
| So I have an absolute photo that dates exactly... | ||
| So you were blowing kids when you were five? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So what do you think started that off? | ||
| Don't know. | ||
| It must have been, you know, just one kid. | ||
| One kid opened the door. | ||
| The rest of us fucking ran through it. | ||
| I mean, I don't know. | ||
| I just don't know what started it. | ||
| I have very vague... | ||
| Fleeting memories. | ||
| So, at five years old, you were all sexually active? | ||
| You and your buddies? | ||
| Yeah, and then he got a little older, six, seven, eight. | ||
| Like, you know, it was... | ||
| I don't remember who was first, who was second. | ||
| I remember when my one friend got erections and I didn't get them. | ||
| Like, I didn't know what they were. | ||
| When he was five, he was getting erections. | ||
| He might have been six or seven. | ||
| He might have been six or seven. | ||
| Giant rods at six years old. | ||
| But I remember not knowing. | ||
| We used to count sucks. | ||
| That's what it would do. | ||
| Like, alright, I'll give you ten and you give me ten. | ||
| So you would have one, two, three, and you would fucking count sucks. | ||
| Did you develop technique? | ||
| Did you figure out, like, what's the best way to suck a dick? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| At that age, I don't think so because I think it was all about getting you to do me after. | ||
| Oh, right, right, right. | ||
| I think that was kind of the goal. | ||
| Right, of course. | ||
| But there was a lot of it, man. | ||
| And again, I can date it because I moved Halloween of fourth grade to North Brunswick. | ||
| So any experience that happened in this place, I know it happened before then. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow, that's crazy. | ||
| So do you think that this kid... | ||
| Did you know if this kid was molested? | ||
| Don't know. | ||
| I mean, there had to be... | ||
| Somebody had to be getting fucked because there's no way all of us were that... | ||
| Sexually active for no reason. | ||
| I just don't remember. | ||
| I have too many memories, like being in a basement and then not exactly remembering. | ||
| I have weird memories possibly with adults. | ||
| It's kind of like watching, it fades in and out. | ||
| And I wish my memory was better, but it's just not. | ||
| No one's really is. | ||
| You know, that's the weird thing about memories when it comes to being, you know, a young person. | ||
| No one's memories are very good. | ||
| You have, like, flashes. | ||
| I have, like, some things that I definitely remember, because they're, like, facts. | ||
| Like, when I was seven, we drove across the country. | ||
| You know, I remember those. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember we got in an accident on Lombard Street in San Francisco. | ||
| You know, that's, like, the crookedest street in the world. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I remember that, because I remember someone tried to pass us, and I remember we scratched the car. | ||
| I remember that. | ||
| But, like, there's little tiny things. | ||
| Like, sometimes I'll talk to my sister or I'll talk to my mom. | ||
| She's like, do you remember that thing? | ||
| And then all of a sudden it's like I open up a folder. | ||
| Like, oh, yeah. | ||
| I remember that guy. | ||
| Whatever happened to him? | ||
| You know, like, that guy didn't exist in my brain until a couple seconds ago. | ||
| And then I'm like, oh, look at this old folder. | ||
| Let's open up my old memory of that fella. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sometimes those are scary, though. | ||
| I many times drive back to that area, because it's in Edison, and I'll drive back when I'm doing the Stress Factory or a gig, and I'll drive through that neighborhood, and I'll be like, what the fuck happened here? | ||
| Something happened here, and it might not just be one moment, but something happened here that kind of shifted me, because I don't know exactly what it is. | ||
| And Dr. Drew told me I was molested. | ||
| Maybe he's right, I don't know. | ||
| Well, at the very least, you were sexually involved with someone else who might have been molested. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, the odds are it had to be one of them. | ||
| That was another thing that came up in this article that I was saying that the origins of homosexuality, that's one of the things they were saying that I was homophobic because the origins of homosexuality is them, people being molested when they're younger. | ||
| That's not what I said. | ||
| And let me explain that to people if you're gay, if you read that, you feel bad. | ||
| That can happen to people who would not be inclined towards homosexuality if they're molested when they're younger. | ||
| Dr. Chris Ryan, the guy who wrote Sex at Dawn, was explaining it to me, is that there's a... | ||
| What is the term? | ||
| Not necessarily patterning, imprinting. | ||
| When you're sexually active, like if someone's sexual with you when you're young, and that person happens to be a man, you can imprint, and you can develop sexual feelings in response to that. | ||
| You get your brain... | ||
| Triggers sexual feelings towards men where you might not be inclined so like even if you're not actually Homosexual you're still turned on by men in a certain way because you were molested It's one of the reasons why they say but they don't really know why people who get molested wind up molesting people but it's really common It's like you know somebody described it best like it's almost like a vampire bites you and this thing like you're passing it on to the next person this this creepy thing But that, | ||
| you know, this is another thing where people took out of context, saying that, you know, I'm homophobic. | ||
| Well, for me, it was all kids in my age group that I remember. | ||
| I have vague adult memories, but not anything concrete that I can say was sexually. | ||
| Like, you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, it just kind of, it's like a smoke that comes by and it leaves. | ||
| And that's kind of how those memories are. | ||
| But with the kids, they were all kids in my age within a year or two of each other. | ||
| So it wasn't like... | ||
| I don't like being a victim, so I feel like... | ||
| You know, I volunteered, man. | ||
| I showed up. | ||
| There was a lot of times I wanted to play the game. | ||
| Well, you were five, you know? | ||
| I mean, I have so few memories when I was five. | ||
| I mean, I bet you probably don't know why you were doing or what happened before that that started it and caused it. | ||
| I bet the person who you were doing it with... | ||
| You know, when people get molested when they're really young, one of the big issues is they block it out. | ||
| They don't remember a goddamn thing. | ||
| Their brain protects them from all the darkness. | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| And I've heard that enough, so I'm almost like I always try to find something to explain. | ||
| But maybe it wasn't that bad. | ||
| Maybe it was just me and my friends, and then it just kind of developed into something that was fun, and it felt good. | ||
| It could, yeah. | ||
| Again, I can't say there was any ominous force behind it. | ||
| I just don't remember. | ||
| But it's weird because it's like... | ||
| Most kids don't blow their friends. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| By the way, that's a great name for an album. | ||
| Most kids don't blow their friends, folks. | ||
| That should be your next comedy album. | ||
| My new tour. | ||
| But it's, so something, we assume something happened. | ||
| But not necessary, right? | ||
| Because the first kid that blew his friends, I mean, there had to be one guy somewhere in history that was like, I got an idea. | ||
| That looks like a valve. | ||
| Let me just put everyone's dick in my mouth and see how they feel about it. | ||
| Look, who's the first guy to pierce his septum, right? | ||
| Who's the first guy to tattoo his face? | ||
| Who's the first guy to buttfuck? | ||
| There has to be a first. | ||
| Well, that one might have come simultaneously two places at once. | ||
| You never know. | ||
| That might have been a couple of thoughts at the same time. | ||
| When do you think buttfucking started? | ||
| Chimps clearly buttfuck, right? | ||
| Bonobos, they must buttfuck each other. | ||
| Do you know what bonobos have? | ||
| They only have one taboo. | ||
| Which is? | ||
| The mom won't have sex with the son. | ||
| Isn't that interesting? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The whole culture is filled with sex. | ||
| Bonobo chimps. | ||
| All the males breed their daughters. | ||
| They exchange sex. | ||
| It's like a social token. | ||
| They resolve issues with sex. | ||
| They're one animal that clearly has massive amounts of recreational sex. | ||
| And they don't have any violence. | ||
| And the anal, I don't know where that comes from. | ||
| I wonder if that's just because of a position where somebody's on their stomach and the person behind them or the creature behind them is just like, your ass is easier. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm not a big fan of ass-fucking. | ||
| I like it a little bit, but I'm not crazy about it. | ||
| I used to like it more when I was younger. | ||
| Well, I mean, it seems messy. | ||
| It has been, yeah, at times. | ||
| At times, yeah. | ||
| There's been a few issues. | ||
| Could be painful. | ||
| It's not really supposed to go in there. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| But some people love it. | ||
| They love it. | ||
| I can do it once in a while. | ||
| I can't, you know, I can fuck it. | ||
| Yeah, not a lot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Gets a little sloppy. | ||
| Well, it's, you know, if someone's trans and they don't want to transition and they don't want to have a vagina, they just want to keep their penis, then there's not a whole lot of options. | ||
| Oh yeah, you fuck them or they fuck you. | ||
| I mean, there's two. | ||
| You have two options. | ||
| So it's kind of, you know, you switch off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's... | ||
| It's interesting how just the amount of people that are just people talking about trans people has changed. | ||
| The numbers, you never heard that when I was a kid. | ||
| You never heard it. | ||
| When I was in high school, you never heard about it. | ||
| No one was trans. | ||
| No one thought they'd be trans in high school. | ||
| Now kids in high school are trans, like a lot of kids are trans. | ||
| You gotta wonder, what is that? | ||
| You know, I think people are gentler with it now. | ||
| That's one thing I think the younger generation is a little smarter with, is that they don't just judge you for it and people can kind of be comfortable being who they are. | ||
| Because the people, I mean, I'm sure trans people existed, but you just, you didn't know what to call it. | ||
| I didn't know what it was when I first saw it or encountered it. | ||
| I had no idea what it was. | ||
| Well, there's a movie, or a book rather, that I read about Custer. | ||
| And one of the parts of the book is about this guy Who went somewhere and came back and his wife had died. | ||
| And it turned out that his wife had been a man. | ||
| And everybody found out. | ||
| And so he had this thing. | ||
| He said, if anything happens to my wife, don't touch her. | ||
| Leave her alone. | ||
| Wait until I come back. | ||
| Well, they didn't do that. | ||
| They did an examination. | ||
| They found out that she had a dick. | ||
| And the guy wound up killing himself. | ||
| So this was something that was going on in the 1800s in the Wild West. | ||
| So this guy was in this Wild West town, and he had a trans wife, and they had to keep it quiet. | ||
| And when people found out about it, he wound up killing himself. | ||
| Yeah, there's so much shame. | ||
| It's funny, I just talked about this somewhere else too, but there's so much shame around it. | ||
| For the men, not just for the trans people, but for the men who like trans people. | ||
| There's fucking just shame. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| That's one of the things I really appreciate about you. | ||
| That you don't give a fuck. | ||
| You talk about everything that you like. | ||
| You talk about everything that you don't like about yourself. | ||
| And I think... | ||
| Because you do that on the radio, and because you do that freely and openly, I think you help a lot of people, man. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| Because I think you make it... | ||
| Because everybody loves you, right? | ||
| So you can come on this podcast, and you know you can say anything. | ||
| You know I love you. | ||
| And there's no way your sexual desires or interests is going to affect that in any way. | ||
| And so you could be free, and then we could all talk about stuff, and then there's probably some kid out there that's going... | ||
| I think I'm okay. | ||
| I think I'm okay. | ||
| I don't think I'm a freak. | ||
| Everybody loves Jim Norton. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| I get emails from people. | ||
| A lot of guys have sent me messages too, going, hey man, thanks for talking about that. | ||
| Because it made me feel like it was alright to like that. | ||
| Or it made me feel more... | ||
| We're a culture that likes to scold each other because you have to be comfortable talking about it and realizing, hey, you might not say this word right. | ||
| You might not express it right. | ||
| We're doing the best we can to grapple with this whole thing, but it's about self-identification for men. | ||
| Am I homosexual? | ||
| That's why guys don't talk about it because we don't know who it makes us. | ||
| I think the scolding thing is a big point, what you just said, that people are worried that people are going to scold them. | ||
| And you know, one of the things that people do when they're worried about that is they scold other people first. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| You know, that's what bullies are. | ||
| When people go around beating people up, the reason why they go around beating people up is because they're afraid someone's going to do it to them. | ||
| They're insecure. | ||
| So they want to have power over those other people because they're terrified. | ||
| Someone's going to want to have power over them because they're weak. | ||
| And this is like that expression, hurt people hurt people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When you see online bullying or people ganging up on people online, I guarantee you every one of those people that's doing that is terrified that it's going to come back to them. | ||
| And they're just throwing rocks and hoping no rocks come back their way. | ||
| Hoping the mob doesn't look at them. | ||
| Hoping and praying. | ||
| Hoping and praying. | ||
| Be a part of it. | ||
| If you're not a part of it, you could be the one that they're doing it to. | ||
| And I've chosen, particularly over the last few years, when I've recognized there's a difference between my reach and my influence and other people's. | ||
| I don't do that. | ||
| I don't retweet things that people say that are mean to me and say, why don't you eat shit, fuckface, or, you know, like, oh, what a cute person you are. | ||
| I could, easily. | ||
| And then millions and millions of people would see that, and then this person would go into a fucking panic attack and look at their Twitter and their feed and their phone's blowing up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| All the inboxes coming in. | ||
| Then they have to go see their counselor or their psychiatrist. | ||
| They get doxxed. | ||
| You're dead! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All that stuff is people... | ||
| And this is one of the things that I think is a real problem with social media in general and Twitter in particular. | ||
| That method of communication, of just doing text out there, once it gets personal. | ||
| Like, it's one thing if you're like, look, they just discovered a new city under the ocean. | ||
| That's what I use it for. | ||
| Or maybe a joke or two. | ||
| But when you get personal with someone, like, you're getting personal in a way that you're not connecting with them. | ||
| You're throwing a text out there, and you're also doing it publicly for the whole world. | ||
| But you're not communicating with that person one-to-one like a human being. | ||
| And because of that, because you're not communicating with them one-on-one like a human being, you don't feel them. | ||
| You feel like you can say mean things. | ||
| You can go after them. | ||
| You almost want it. | ||
| You almost want people to go after them. | ||
| You almost want bad things to happen. | ||
| Just to see if what you're doing in this game is effective. | ||
| You know Jamie Kilstein, right? | ||
| I do, yeah. | ||
| Jamie talked real openly on the podcast about who he used to be and who he is. | ||
| He used to do that, go after people, and he's real open about how he was just completely 100% virtue signaling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He just wanted people to like him. | ||
| He goes, I would be walking down the street and I just had to check my phone constantly because to see how do people respond to my text or my tweet. | ||
| How do people respond to attacking some senator? | ||
| You fucking bigot. | ||
| You homophobe. | ||
| And just checking his thing constantly. | ||
| And then afterwards, they came after him. | ||
| Because you can never be virtuous enough. | ||
| Never. | ||
| Never. | ||
| There's no one out there that's virtuous enough. | ||
| And if you're going to be cruel to people, get ready, because it's coming back at you. | ||
| It's coming back to you, and that's the beauty. | ||
| I never want to shame other people for that shit. | ||
| If you make a mistake or you say something fucking stupid, so be it. | ||
| Who am I to sit there and get mad at somebody? | ||
| Believe me, people come at me. | ||
| My preferences are not always fucking popular online either. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| I get called horrible shit. | ||
| It doesn't bother me. | ||
| I'm a 51-year-old man, too. | ||
| When you're 51 and you've come through the environment to stand up for 30 years, it's a little easier to have a thicker skin sometimes, too. | ||
| Whereas somebody who is 19 or 20, who has been raised in this psychotic, fake, polite culture, because it's not polite. | ||
| It's vicious. | ||
| It's fake polite. | ||
| And then when they start getting insulted, I don't know if they a lot of times know how to process that. | ||
| No, most people don't. | ||
| And, you know, you also understand what it is that's causing people to behave the way they're behaving, whereas a 19-year-old just thinks they're terrible and they need to die. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, this is one of the things that's so awful about kids that get bullied online and wind up killing themselves. | ||
| Like, you didn't, you know, you had to just get through that. | ||
| If you got through that, you would understand what it is. | ||
| You'd understand that these people, these are just, anybody that's saying that to you, that's a damaged person. | ||
| They're all fucked up themselves. | ||
| And if you were around them personally, you and them, alone in a room, I guarantee you they wouldn't do that to you. | ||
| No, and most of them, you wouldn't even want to do it. | ||
| No. | ||
| You've talked to people, and most of them, you're like, oh, your hands feel the same as anybody else when I shake them. | ||
| I'm like, hey. | ||
| And you realize they're okay. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| The separation that social media gives us, along with the connection. | ||
| You get this connection where you can send a tweet out and maybe you can reach people and they go, oh, that's kind of cool. | ||
| And there is this weird connection. | ||
| But the disconnect, the emotional and the social disconnect, the lack of social cues between two people when you're just communicating online, that's not good for us. | ||
| We're not supposed to communicate like that. | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| It's bad. | ||
| It's impersonal. | ||
| It's kind of dangerous to a lot of people because it gives you this false sense of, you know, like you're not saying something that's going to hurt someone. | ||
| If you were in front of that person, you wouldn't want them to cry, but you want them to cry if you're not there. | ||
| Like you want to say the most vicious, mean shit when they're not there. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And again, we mentioned Ari. | ||
| I know you love Ari. | ||
| I love Ari. | ||
| I've known him for many years. | ||
| When someone says dumb shit, and people do say dumb shit, and then there are times when people are justifiably mad at you. | ||
| Like, hey, look, you said something really stupid publicly, so people heard that in the middle of their grief, and they're like, hey, fuck you, pal. | ||
| People are angry. | ||
| But then it gets to a point where that day has passed and then there are people who just want to hurt you for it. | ||
| There's people who just want to punish you. | ||
| There's people who just want to see you suffer. | ||
| So how do you tell all the time who's just reacting to something you said? | ||
| Because as a comedian, I say public things. | ||
| People who are in the public with me have the right to say something. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I think what Ari did, you have to come up with a new word. | ||
| I don't think dumb is good enough. | ||
| We need a better word. | ||
| It was so stupid. | ||
| But it's also what you said earlier, that you've got to keep ramping it up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You do think what we were talking about earlier. | ||
| Was that before the podcast? | ||
| I think it was. | ||
| Before Adnan, I think, yeah. | ||
| The thing is, when you do outrageous things, just to get people to like, oh, look at Jimmy's crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You get caught in a trap, and you keep doing it more and more outrageous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And with Ari, he's always done this thing where when people die, he would make the meanest comment. | ||
| Even about someone he loved, like Tom Petty. | ||
| He said some horrible shit about Tom Petty and Aretha Franklin and all these different people that died. | ||
| But he just did it for shock value. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you gotta keep upping that every time. | ||
| Like, every time someone dies, people, like his sicko fans, would go straight to Ari and want Ari to comment on it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you know, It's a trap, man. | ||
| That's a terrible trap. | ||
| You see guys lean into those things, right? | ||
| It becomes a part of their persona. | ||
| It becomes a part of their identity. | ||
| Well, the trap is also when you, if there's something you don't want to say, or if you're like, nah, that's too fucked up to say, but if I don't say it, they're going to think that I'm selling out or I'm not the same performer. | ||
| You have to be willing to disappoint people that want to hear that, too, if you're going to survive in doing that stuff. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know what's going to happen with Ari, like how he's going to get through this, but in some ways, I never want to say it's a good thing that he did that, but he needed to know that there are consequences for just saying ridiculous shit that you're not supposed to say when people die. | ||
| The really fucked up thing about Ari is he's a really good guy, but In his persona sometimes, he's a heel. | ||
| And he does it on purpose. | ||
| And so you see that video, and he's smiling and laughing because Kobe Bryant's dead. | ||
| That's his heel persona. | ||
| And he thinks he's playing it up like, oh, this is going to be great. | ||
| People are going to be so mad. | ||
| But he had no idea. | ||
| He had no idea. | ||
| He misjudged the country's grief. | ||
| And obviously, I think he didn't know who else was on the helicopter. | ||
| I believed his explanation. | ||
| When I read his explanation, I believed it. | ||
| When I first saw it, I didn't know if he was serious or not. | ||
| I mean, I know what he does, but I just saw that clip. | ||
| I'm like, maybe he hated him. | ||
| He didn't. | ||
| I didn't know what he was doing, but then when I read his explanation, I believed him. | ||
| One part of me feels responsible. | ||
| This is why. | ||
| I convinced him that he could have an iPhone and that he could be okay. | ||
| Just put a timer on it. | ||
| I go, just put a timer on it. | ||
| I go, my daughter has a timer on her phone. | ||
| She can only use it for an hour a day. | ||
| Just put a timer on your phone. | ||
| And... | ||
| He should have stuck with a fucking flip phone, man. | ||
| He had a lady that was posting for him, a friend of his. | ||
| I think he gave her some money and he would send his tweets to her, stuff like that, and then she would post him for him. | ||
| I think that's how it went. | ||
| And that's way better. | ||
| Because then you've got a filter system where she could call him up. | ||
| What the fuck is wrong with you? | ||
| And he'd be like, whoa, what did I say? | ||
| No, I'm not saying that, asshole. | ||
| He's like, alright, you're right, you're right. | ||
| What should I say? | ||
| And there was a humanity level. | ||
| Look, also, Ari is legitimately insane. | ||
| He's definitely got layers of insanity that he battles with. | ||
| He does, and it's funny, when I hosted Down and Dirty with Jim Norton, and there was a bunch of comedians on, Ari was one of the comedians I had on, and at the end of his set, he took his dick out! | ||
| He fucking pulled his pants down and took his dick out on HBO and they were furious and no one knew he was going to do it. | ||
| And I had to go out and shake his hand with his fucking pants around his ankles and he waved at the crowd. | ||
| And I don't even remember if that made the final cut. | ||
| But that's 2008. So you know somebody who has a reputation of just doing completely crazy shit. | ||
| It doesn't surprise me when the person does something that is crazy. | ||
| No, he's always gotten a certain amount of attention for doing... | ||
| He's the wild man, you know? | ||
| He doesn't have any responsibilities. | ||
| He lives like a vagabond. | ||
| He's made a ton of money, but he lives in a tiny apartment. | ||
| That was always the reputation. | ||
| Now I guess he lives with his girl. | ||
| But he never bought a car. | ||
| He had the shittiest, oldest, most fucked up car. | ||
| It was a manual transmission car because that was cheaper. | ||
| Ari is so frugal. | ||
| He would... | ||
| He would get mad at people like, why are you spending your money? | ||
| What the fuck is wrong with you? | ||
| Why are you buying a nice car? | ||
| That, to Ari, was the dumbest shit you could ever do. | ||
| He wanted to hoard all his money and then not have any responsibility. | ||
| He wanted to make sure that he could just disappear and go to China for three months and just hang out. | ||
| Not owe anybody anything. | ||
| Not owe anybody anything and be free. | ||
| Be, like, legitimately free. | ||
| So, like, anytime he felt like he was trapped in any sort of corporate structure or anything, he would fucking panic. | ||
| You know, like... | ||
| And that's one of the... | ||
| You know, it's... | ||
| It's one of the parts of his personality where he kind of leans into this sort of outsider role. | ||
| He doesn't want too much success. | ||
| He would get mad when people started taking pictures with him after the Sober October shows. | ||
| He's like, you fucking assholes made me too famous. | ||
| I can't even go anywhere. | ||
| I'm like, that is the most hilarious thing to say. | ||
| He was actually mad that he was going places and people wanted to take pictures with him. | ||
| No, but is it really that he didn't like it or is it like sometimes you get afraid of it because then you taste it and you're afraid it's going to go away? | ||
| That's one thing with success. | ||
| The more of it you get, the more scared you are that they're going to rob you of it. | ||
| I don't think so with Ari. | ||
| With Ari, I think he actually didn't like it. | ||
| Like he likes a certain amount of anonymity. | ||
| It's one of the reasons why he liked going to Asia. | ||
| That's why he went there on vacation, because no one knew who he was. | ||
| He got recognized like twice in four months the entire time he was there. | ||
| He loved it. | ||
| Yeah, he loved it. | ||
| He should go there right now. | ||
| Yeah, it might be a good time to lay low. | ||
| Might want to move there. | ||
| I just don't know how often, I mean, or how long it'll take before this, if it does at all, blows over. | ||
| He made that little sort of explanation on his Instagram, but it might almost be better if he did a video. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, you almost have to humanize yourself and discuss what happened because it's very hard to explain that to people because then they're like, yeah, there's dumb friends that are defending him. | ||
| No one's defending him. | ||
| No one's defending what he said. | ||
| No one's defending him. | ||
| You know, I would never defend what he said. | ||
| But what I would say is... | ||
| I'm not a moron. | ||
| I'm friends with him. | ||
| I love the guy. | ||
| It's not because he's a bad guy. | ||
| He's a great guy. | ||
| He's one of my smartest friends. | ||
| He's very interesting. | ||
| But he's also... | ||
| We're all crazy. | ||
| I don't know a single goddamn funny person that's not crazy. | ||
| But his crazy is a different kind of self-destructive crazy. | ||
| It's a different kind of crazy. | ||
| You have your crazy. | ||
| I got my crazy. | ||
| Robert Kelly's got his crazy. | ||
| Everyone's got their own crazy. | ||
| You know, there's something that compels you to want to be on stage in front of all those fucking people, talking every night, telling jokes, doing it on a podcast, doing it on the radio. | ||
| It's a real weird personality that causes people to do things like that. | ||
| And you're around people who are doing it, and who are doing it really well, and then you see them getting more and more successful, and then there's like, you know, you don't want to watch everybody pass you by either. | ||
| So you're like, oh, this thing works for me. | ||
| Let me just keep doing this thing. | ||
| And then you kind of get married to doing that thing that works for you. | ||
| Yeah, you lean into it. | ||
| You lean into what you love. | ||
| And I've seen that happen with people where all of a sudden they seem like white nationalists. | ||
| Like, what is going on? | ||
| And I realize, oh, that's where they're getting attention from. | ||
| They're getting attention from all these people that are like, you know, kind of... | ||
| They're kind of like... | ||
| Into white nationalism. | ||
| And so they start leaning into that. | ||
| I'm like, was that guy always like that? | ||
| Did he hide it from me? | ||
| Like, how did I not see that? | ||
| I just thought he was conservative. | ||
| And then I think what it is is, like, that's where their bread's being buttered. | ||
| That's where they're getting attention. | ||
| And so they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, go tell them. | ||
| Go get them. | ||
| Yeah, white people have been the one, the founding people of this country, and white people this, white people this. | ||
| And you see them start to repeat those sentiments and you go, oh, okay, you're leaning into the attention. | ||
| That's what's going on here. | ||
| Because people, they're like you and they're showing you love. | ||
| So it's kind of hard to risk losing people who love you. | ||
| As a performer, we're terrified of it. | ||
| Well, especially when you start developing an audience and that audience is like, you know, those are the people that actually like you. | ||
| They actually love you. | ||
| They actually will come pay to see you. | ||
| And so you go, okay, what do I have to do to get them? | ||
| Here's a good example. | ||
| Like, My early act, when I first started doing stand-up, was terrible. | ||
| But I realized that there was three stages of stand-up in my career. | ||
| The first stage was I was doing anything to get a laugh. | ||
| And it was basically like a tool. | ||
| I had a ruler or a hammer or a nail, and I had no connection to that material. | ||
| I would tell joke jokes, like street jokes. | ||
| Someone told me a street joke, I would tell that on stage. | ||
| There was no art to it. | ||
| I was just terrified, and I wanted to get laughs. | ||
| Once I started doing pretty good and I would work professionally and I was getting some gigs and stuff, then I started doing stuff that I thought was funny. | ||
| And I remember being so happy with that because I'd be like, instead of being so scared of just being out there and, God, I gotta get a laugh, gotta get a laugh, gotta get a laugh. | ||
| What am I gonna do to get a laugh? | ||
| Instead of that, then I would get into, like, what do I think is funny? | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then I would go, here's what's fucked up to me. | ||
| Like, why is this? | ||
| And then people go, that's really smart. | ||
| I remember people saying, oh, that's good material. | ||
| Your new stuff? | ||
| I love your new stuff. | ||
| I'm like, oh, okay, finally I'm doing stuff that other people, that I like, like people that appreciate things that I appreciate would think are funny. | ||
| Then, once I got better at that, and I became like a real, like a headliner and established, then I started turning ideas into comedy. | ||
| Then I would turn ideas like... | ||
| I had some complicated ideas that I worked on for years to try to turn into bits. | ||
| And one of them was the de-evolution of man. | ||
| I put it on my 2005 Netflix special. | ||
| I don't even know what's on Netflix anymore. | ||
| It's just called Joe Rogan Live from 2005. And it was a bit that I worked on for years about how... | ||
| Dumb people outbred smart people, and that's what the pyramids are. | ||
| Like, we outfucked the smart people, and they just left us with a bunch of shit we don't understand. | ||
| And it was this long... | ||
| It took me forever to work that bit in. | ||
| And that bit, to me, was like, okay, now I understand how to turn a concept Into a bit. | ||
| Not just things that I think are funny, but things that I think are interesting. | ||
| And try to get those interesting ideas and put them into stand-up form. | ||
| And things you want to say. | ||
| The key for comedians, and where a lot of comics go wrong, is it's got to be funny, too. | ||
| We have to be funny while we're... | ||
| I never go on the stage and think, I'm going to teach the audience a fucking... | ||
| I'm not going to educate the fucking audience. | ||
| I hate that. | ||
| If they learn anything from it or if they like, it's got to be funny first, though. | ||
| It has to be fucking funny. | ||
| And I look at my old stuff, man. | ||
| Oh, it's bad. | ||
| Oh, me too. | ||
| Fucking. | ||
| I was a character. | ||
| Happy-go-lucky. | ||
| You know how we doing? | ||
| Like, oh, it's repulsive. | ||
| Dude, it's fucking repulsive. | ||
| Well, isn't it so nice you got through that and now you're something different? | ||
| Thank God I got through it. | ||
| Yeah, I just started standing there and talking and being more comfortable. | ||
| We used to do that thing on Opie and Anthony where you would dissect your old stand-up. | ||
| And I brought in a 1993 stand-up tape and Colin, Patrice, Voss, and I think Paul Mercurio is the other comedian... | ||
| Dissected it on Opie and Anthony. | ||
| It is really... | ||
| It was humiliating. | ||
| Oh, I've got some old videos, man. | ||
| I can't even pull them out. | ||
| They're embarrassing, right? | ||
| Oh, they're terrible. | ||
| Because they're revealing. | ||
| It's like, look how hard I was trying. | ||
| I want it to be liked so bad. | ||
| Do you ever go over your old writing? | ||
| Yeah, I have every joke I've ever written. | ||
| I used to write them on packing slips when I worked for Kristoff Silver. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| What's Kristoff Silver? | ||
| It's a very high-end silverware place, and I worked in a packing... | ||
| I would be shipping and receiving, so I would write these on the back of fragile stickers, all these jokes, and yeah, I have all that shit. | ||
| Do you know who Owen Smith is? | ||
| Owen Smith. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Dude, he's one of the best comics in the world. | ||
| He's one of those guys, I'm working with him actually tonight at the improv, but he's one of those guys, when he's on stage, I'm like, how the fuck do people not know who he is? | ||
| Because he got a lot of writing gigs. | ||
| He was writing for a lot of sitcoms, a lot of different really well-paying writing gigs, and he has a family, so he didn't do the road. | ||
| He didn't really travel a lot, but... | ||
| He's a fucking murderer, man. | ||
| Yeah, he's funny. | ||
| Anyway, he had this concept for a show, and I filmed an episode of it. | ||
| I don't know what he's done with it yet, but it was Bring Your Old Notebook. | ||
| So I found all these notebooks that I still have, and I busted them out. | ||
| I was amazed. | ||
| I mean, I have notebooks from like 91, 92, and it was so bad. | ||
| I even had built-in ad-libs and built-in reactions from the audience. | ||
| Then someone from the audience would say this and then I would say that. | ||
| I remember in the beginning trying to sit and write and literally being such a moron. | ||
| I had such a piss-poor grasp of the English language, first of all. | ||
| And then second of all, just sitting there, no idea how to write things. | ||
| Just no idea. | ||
| And so I would just write and hope a joke would come out of it. | ||
| And it never did. | ||
| Back in those days, the only time I came up with good bits was literally either talking to my friends and laughing, usually when we were drinking, or on stage. | ||
| Occasionally on stage, I would come up with an idea, and then I would foster it or feed it and try to make it grow. | ||
| But going over that fucking material was so painfully embarrassing. | ||
| It was so bad. | ||
| It's humiliating, the old stuff. | ||
| I don't mind reading it, though, because my persona is what I hated more than my writing. | ||
| So watching myself perform those old bits, because I had the baggy workout pants, bodybuilder pants. | ||
| Dude, I was such a cunt. | ||
| I was so awful when I started. | ||
| The writing I can look at, because it's detached from the fucking little character I would do on stage. | ||
| It's funny how there's some styles that just don't make it, but for a while, everybody has them. | ||
| And then everybody wakes up like, what the What the fuck are we wearing? | ||
| Do you remember Cavaricis? | ||
| I do, of course. | ||
| Dude, I ate gigantic plates of shit one day on stage wearing Cavaricis. | ||
| And I'll never forget how stupid I felt. | ||
| They're tight here and then baggy from the thighs out. | ||
| And I'm wearing these stupid things and I'm on stage and I'm bombing. | ||
| And I remember looking down at the way I was dressed and I had a button-up shirt. | ||
| And I followed Jim Brewer. | ||
| It was a pivotal moment in my career because I bombed so hard. | ||
| I really tightened up my act after that and really got to work because it was the most painful bombing I ever had. | ||
| But I'm standing there with Cavaricci's on with a nice shirt, like a dress shirt, like I'm going to the club. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dressed like an entertainer. | ||
| Oh, dickhead. | ||
| What a dickhead. | ||
| And then I'm looking down at these fucking terrible pants. | ||
| And those pants were the shit for like two years or three years. | ||
| And then everybody was like, what the fuck are we wearing? | ||
| And they just went away. | ||
| Wasn't it like a members only jacket with it or like Capizio shoes? | ||
| Do you remember Capizio shoes were very big? | ||
| I do, but I can't picture them in my head. | ||
| Jamie, pull up Capizio shoes. | ||
| Yeah, I remember them from, I want to say early 90s or it might have been late 80s, but I remember a guy I knew, a sober guy I knew. | ||
| We used to go to these sober dances, which were very fucking depressing. | ||
| Like I would do that when I was 18 and 19. Wow. | ||
| Just to go try to meet girls. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And they're sober too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They're all suspicious of you. | ||
| You just want to fuck me. | ||
| I know what's going on here. | ||
| No, I would just kind of stand there. | ||
| Just kind of stand there in the back. | ||
| That's a Capizio? | ||
| No, that's not... | ||
| The black one, maybe. | ||
| What are those things? | ||
| Oh, yeah, there you go. | ||
| That's kind of... | ||
| That's like bowling shoes. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| In the 80s. | ||
| That with Cavaricis. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Ugh, like you're a ballet dancer. | ||
| Yeah, they were not good. | ||
| I'm your private... | ||
|
unidentified
|
How about that? | |
| I want to get Aladdin shoes. | ||
| Go up right there. | ||
| Click on that. | ||
| No, the Aladdin shoes. | ||
| The curly tip ones. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Oh, those are pretty ones. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's... | |
| We've got to bring those bitches back. | ||
| Elf shoes. | ||
| Somebody who somewhere wore elf shoes, right? | ||
| Wasn't that the court jester thing, though? | ||
| That was like to make the king laugh. | ||
| You kind of had to dress like an asshole. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Can you imagine being a fucking... | ||
| You're basically a bad comedian dancing around for a murderous dictator. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And if you did anything to piss them off, they would just cut your fucking head off in front of everybody. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bring me another one. | ||
| You probably became a good comedian fast because you read the room. | ||
| You knew exactly what you could say, what you couldn't say. | ||
| You knew who to go after, who not to go after. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I would love to have seen what it would be like to be a court jester in front of like Henry VIII. Yeah. | ||
| Like some murderous fucking ruthless king who just... | ||
| Didn't Henry VIII kill like a bunch of his wives? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think he did. | |
| They didn't want to get divorced to just cut their fucking heads off? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wasn't he married to Anne Boleyn? | ||
| Am I remembering a different... | ||
| For some reason, I remember her name. | ||
| I don't know who that is. | ||
| Anne Boleyn. | ||
| Yeah, I want to say that was one of his wives, but I could be wrong. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know who that is. | |
| I'm a dropout, so it might have been something I'm conflating, two stories. | ||
| Well, I dropped out, too. | ||
| I didn't drop out of high school, but I dropped out of college. | ||
| How many years did you do? | ||
|
unidentified
|
His second wife. | |
| Three. | ||
| What is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
His second wife. | |
| Anne Boleyn was, right? | ||
| Anne Boleyn. | ||
| Did he behead her? | ||
| She fell on her sword. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She slipped. | |
| It's a mistake. | ||
| No big deal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Seriously. | |
| I thought he killed her. | ||
| I could be... | ||
| He killed a few of them, I believe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But you wonder what the bombing was like for those guys. | ||
| There's a certain court gesture. | ||
| The pressure and wood bombing get you killed, or would you have another day? | ||
| Well, imagine, right? | ||
| How many times have you said a joke on the air, and it didn't really go well? | ||
| Like, you took a swing, and everybody's like, Jimmy, what the fuck? | ||
| I fucking tried. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| But if you do that in front of a king, you know? | ||
| There's an Opie and Anthony clip called Jim Norton's Epic Carpet Bombing where it's a fucking... | ||
| It was one day where I just had nothing. | ||
| Like I was on no sleep and I come in, I was wired and I bombed for the entire four hour radio show. | ||
| And there's probably a 12 minute clip of just me bombing throughout the four hours. | ||
| The more comfortable you get, the more freeing it gets too. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You get more comfortable bombing and you can kind of embrace it and soak in what it is. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| But yeah, I love those old clips. | ||
| We are so lucky. | ||
| I mean, you were a giant part of that show. | ||
| But I feel real lucky that I was a part of that show. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I feel like with guys, like guys like me in comics, that to us was the most comfortable environment we could ever find. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, I enjoyed doing Preston and Steve and, you know, doing K-Rock and, you know, Kevin and Bean and doing all these different radio shows. | ||
| I really enjoyed them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No doubt. | ||
| But there was something about Opie and Anthony where I would get so excited when I was there. | ||
| When I was in New York, there was not a question of whether or not I was going to go. | ||
| Like, if you guys were going to have me, like, fuck yeah, we would get up early, we would smoke weed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha ha! | |
| We'd come in barbecued. | ||
| We'd just be so happy to be there. | ||
| I'd take edibles. | ||
| I would always have edible lollipops. | ||
| I couldn't wait to be on air with you guys because you could be what you were if you were hanging out at the store. | ||
| If we're hanging out in the back bar of the comedy store and everybody's just talking shit and laughing, that's what it was like on Opie and Anthony. | ||
| There was no other environment where you could just be comics being comics, just hanging out. | ||
| Yeah, going back and forth, being mean to each other. | ||
| Yes, yes! | ||
| I mean, it was some vicious... | ||
| Voss! | ||
| Voss must have skin like a fucking rhino. | ||
| He does. | ||
| He does, and a brain like one. | ||
| The beatings that he would take. | ||
| But he was also, Rich is so fast, too, that Voss was a guy that you could hit him, you could hit him, but as soon as you turn around, when he hits you back, it was a fucking killer line. | ||
| And Voss is really, really, Bobby is great at that. | ||
| You'd walk into the comedy cellar and they're laughing before you get there. | ||
| And you're like, oh, it's going to be a long fucking night. | ||
| It's gonna be a long night. | ||
| Voss was a master at dealing with hecklers and shitty crowds. | ||
| I did so many bad gigs with Voss. | ||
| Oh my god, we did so many fucking Bob Levy gigs. | ||
| Remember when Bob Levy used to book? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love Bobby Levy. | |
| I just talked to him. | ||
| Tell him I said hi. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| He used to book gigs. | ||
| I did a couple of his gigs with Voss. | ||
| He's having a hard time. | ||
| He had a fucking accident and his neck is fucked up, so he's getting insurances, fucking him around. | ||
| What's wrong with his neck? | ||
| I think he got rear-ended and he is trying to get the auto insurance to pay for his surgery. | ||
| He can't work. | ||
| But I believe he's had a hard time, man. | ||
| So is that a disc issue in his neck? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| I think so, yeah. | ||
| But he's fucked up. | ||
| He's in a lot of pain and he's trying to... | ||
| Oh, that sucks. | ||
| Yeah, it sucks, man. | ||
| He's always been a good guy. | ||
| Dude, a lot of those guys, him, Jim Florentine, a lot of those guys, I wouldn't have a career without those guys. | ||
| How's he doing? | ||
| I haven't seen him in front of a while, too. | ||
| Florentine's doing well. | ||
| He's got a podcast now on Barstool, so he's starting to do something that's really going to get him a huge new audience. | ||
| Dude, I just heard they sold Barstool for $450 million. | ||
| I see you nodding. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah, they got a... | ||
| Investment or a deal they made with Penn Gaming, who owns a bunch of casinos, including the Tropicana thing in Vegas. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| I think they get 36% now in a few years. | ||
| They can go by 50%, depending on how... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| The stock's way up already. | ||
| They have stock? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, that Penn Gaming company does, so yeah. | |
| Oh, a Magic Barstool had stock? | ||
| Well, now you can invest in them, I guess. | ||
| We need JRE stock. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey. | |
| I wonder if it would have gone up last week. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Once you become a publicly traded company, isn't that when this shit all happens? | ||
| When everybody, they try to kick out like fucking, like John, what's his name, John Schnatter from Papa John's? | ||
| Like they start getting ready to boot you out of your own company because you say something stupid. | ||
| Oh, you definitely can. | ||
| Yeah, that definitely can happen. | ||
| Yeah, as soon as you're involved, I'm just kidding about that. | ||
| I would not want JRE stock. | ||
| I remember Bob Levy had a girl over his house. | ||
| I got laid so infrequel in the old days, and he had a pretty girl at his house who liked me. | ||
| And my father drove me there. | ||
| I was probably 22 years old. | ||
| What was the worst snowstorm of the century at the time? | ||
| And my father drove me eight miles... | ||
| During the snowstorm? | ||
| During the snowstorm to Bob Levy's house. | ||
| To get laid. | ||
| And I fucked this girl in the bathroom, Bobby's bathroom, and I was standing in cat litter. | ||
| what a good dad you have Yeah, my dad's a great guy, yeah, but he knew I told him, Dad, there's a girl there, you know? | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| And I think he just wanted to, he was happy I said that, so he was just like, all right, I'll take you. | ||
| I don't miss driving in the snow, but I do miss, there's certain parts about driving in the snow that I do miss. | ||
| Like, when you actually made it. | ||
| Like, it was hard to do, hard to get home, but when you got home, boy, did you appreciate being home. | ||
| You felt great, yeah, when you actually got where you had to go. | ||
| Closed the door and... | ||
| You sit down, fucking make some hot chocolate or something, watch TV. You felt so comfortable. | ||
| I'm home. | ||
| It's warm. | ||
| You don't appreciate good weather unless you experience shit weather. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| But I don't miss doing the gigs. | ||
| I mean, I still do them, but when you're driving in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, where they're two and a half hours over the hills to get to the gig, and it was like... | ||
| Panic-stricken because I'm afraid I'm going to hit black ice. | ||
| I remember I was so bad at driving that I had to park my car and call my girlfriend to come and pick me up at her sports car. | ||
| It was such a humiliating moment as a man to have to pull over and go, I can't drive on the ice. | ||
| And my girlfriend had to come and pick me up. | ||
| In a sports car. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, I didn't realize what a fucking tour. | ||
| I was driving my father's tourists. | ||
| I remember driving once and the snow was so bad, I was having a hard time discerning where the road is. | ||
| I couldn't figure out where's the road, what's the side of the road, because the snow was so deep. | ||
| It was getting to the point where it was hard to see where the road was. | ||
| That's where shit gets weird. | ||
| Yeah, when you're driving through the Adirondacks or upstate New York where there's no lights, it's just black. | ||
| It's black and then there's fog and then there's snow coming at you. | ||
| It is really... | ||
| And you're like, I'm 51. I've been driving since I was 19. I'm still... | ||
| It's like, shut up. | ||
| Just do 20. You got to do 20. You got to. | ||
| You can't blow through this like you're an experienced driver. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Every time I used to be on the highway, and I'd be driving slow and carefully, there'd always be that one dipshit that goes flying by. | ||
| Just goes flying by. | ||
| Like, he knows how to drive in the snow better than anybody, and you're a bunch of pussies. | ||
| You can't handle it, and he's fucking... | ||
| And you'd always hope to see him wrapped around a pole about a mile down, but you never did. | ||
| I saw a car carrier fall over once. | ||
| That was wild. | ||
| With wind? | ||
| No, he jackknifed. | ||
| Jackknifed in the snow. | ||
| And wiped out. | ||
| Fucking cars scattered all over the highway. | ||
| It was wild. | ||
| It was wild. | ||
| But he just, he slipped. | ||
| I saw him losing it, and by the time I got there, he was tipped over and the cars were hanging out. | ||
| He just lost control of this... | ||
| You know, those fucking things, they're so unwieldy. | ||
| You know, you got 13 cars stacked up on this crane thing behind you, and... | ||
| This guy just lost his shit, and it was just so snowy. | ||
| I was heading to Western Massachusetts to try to get laid. | ||
| Not even for a gig? | ||
| It was for a girl. | ||
| I wasn't doing comedy back then. | ||
| I think I was 17. 17 or 18. I barely could drive. | ||
| Terrible driving. | ||
| And I remember this long trip to Western Massachusetts. | ||
| It was long normally. | ||
| It was like a couple hours normally. | ||
| But now, with all the snow and everything, it was brutal. | ||
| Did you make it? | ||
| I made it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I made it. | |
| Yeah, it's crazy what we do to get laid back in those days. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| And now it's like, look, if you don't hit me up on Instagram, it's just not fucking happening. | ||
| What do you want me to tell you? | ||
| I can't do it anymore. | ||
| Well, you know, this is what I was trying to explain to someone once that when, you know, a woman, actually, when you are an 18-year-old boy, you are a drug addict, okay? | ||
| And you're a drug addict for sex. | ||
| And you've only been having sex for a little while. | ||
| For me, it was like two years. | ||
| I think I got laid when I was 16. So it was like two years. | ||
| And just you're a straight-up junkie. | ||
| And sex was the most exciting thing of your life. | ||
| Like, it was so much more exciting than anything else I did. | ||
| So much more interesting than anything else I did. | ||
| And I wanted it so bad. | ||
| And then you're so horny, you know, that, like, all you're thinking about is how you could possibly have sex. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And so, what do I gotta wear? | ||
| What do I gotta say? | ||
| What do I gotta do? | ||
| Where do I gotta drive? | ||
| I mean, you don't realize what immense power it has over your life. | ||
| And I think it has a lot of power over women's lives. | ||
| Obviously, I've never been a woman, so I don't know what it feels like to want dick. | ||
| But I would imagine it's probably pretty similar, which is why there's so many fucking people on the planet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I mean, it's definitely a 50-50 pull, I would say. | ||
| But a lot of times, it's not even the sex. | ||
| I remember being a teenager, and I would pick up, I would go out and get a hooker, and then afterwards, my favorite part would be talking to her on the way back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Like, I loved talking. | ||
| Like, I really, I think a lot of it was I misidentified being lonely with wanting sex. | ||
| Like, there was times I was horny, but there was times where I would come, or I wouldn't be able to come, and I would just jerk off, and I'd be like, no, I can't come. | ||
| But then I would just sit, like, let's talk for a little while. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Always my favorite part was talking to them, driving them back, getting to know them. | ||
| How many did you talk to? | ||
| Every girl I had picked up. | ||
| And so you would have long conversations? | ||
| Did they enjoy the conversations? | ||
| When they were willing. | ||
| But again, they were people I knew because I would see them all the time. | ||
| Or they would see me driving around. | ||
| And this is Commercial Avenue in New Brunswick in the mid-80s. | ||
| I think they liked it a little bit. | ||
| I mean, it was probably different. | ||
| I wasn't aggressive. | ||
| I was pleasant. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They're probably happy that someone was being nice to them. | ||
| Well, you can always tell when you drove back to where you got them, if they just jumped out, okay, they just wanted the ride back. | ||
| And then there was times they would just sit in the car. | ||
| They're like, hey, drive around the block. | ||
| We'll smoke. | ||
| Sometimes they would ask you to do that so they could have a cigarette and a conversation. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| It's got to be so weird to find yourself. | ||
| You're a hooker. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I look back on it now and it's like, I do think it should be legal. | ||
| I don't think people should tell other people they don't have the right to do it. | ||
| But I look back and I'm like, how many people, were they in situations that I didn't know of? | ||
| Like, were there people being forced to do shit that I didn't know were being forced to do shit? | ||
| And that's kind of something that's been a little... | ||
| Fucking with you. | ||
| Yeah, it's been fucking with me a little bit. | ||
| Well, you remember they tried to pin that on Robert Kraft, the guy who owns the Patriots, who went to a massage parlor to get jerked off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they were saying, they were charging him with participating in sex trafficking. | ||
| It was just a completely fabricated accusation. | ||
| Because the women that were there, it turns out, nope, they're just regular women that massage guys and then jerk them off afterwards. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But they put that out there so it was out there no matter what like it hit the press it hit this guy And so he had to sort of like deal with this even though he's like this fucking guys worth billions of dollars, which is thousands of millions for us Just think of owning thousands of millions of dollars still couldn't keep the shame of getting jerked off It's like a 69, 70-year-old man or something like that. | ||
| They're coming back at him with something else now, too. | ||
| For the same case? | ||
| Yeah, there's something else that just got talked about. | ||
| Again, I don't know exactly what the prosecutor's throwing at him, but sometimes a prosecutor, I think, sees something that, hey, we can get a lot of mileage on this. | ||
| And because nothing happened to Kraft the first time, I think they're coming back at him with something updated. | ||
| Well, I also think that this is what... | ||
| I've said this about law enforcement, too. | ||
| When you... | ||
| Play a game. | ||
| And here's the game. | ||
| I arrest you. | ||
| I want to convict you. | ||
| Here's the game. | ||
| You try to get out of it. | ||
| I don't want you to get out of it. | ||
| Now we're in competition. | ||
| It's a game. | ||
| It's not a game. | ||
| Obviously, it's the law. | ||
| And obviously, you know, people should be arrested. | ||
| Don't misconstrue what I'm saying. | ||
| But whenever someone is trying to do something and the other person doesn't want you to do something, people get competitive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And... | |
| People withhold evidence. | ||
| They lie. | ||
| I mean, there's been so many fucking cases of prosecutors withholding evidence that could have people released. | ||
| Kenneth Niffong in the Duke rape case. | ||
| He didn't get disbarred for that, or he did some shady shit. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of those cases. | ||
| It's not just him. | ||
| I mean, how many different detectives have withheld evidence? | ||
| Prosecuting attorneys have withheld evidence? | ||
| You know who's fucking amazing at helping people with this shit? | ||
| It's Kim Kardashian. | ||
| Yes, she is. | ||
| Kim Kardashian has gotten some, fuck, I think it was like, the latest count was like 18 people released who were unjustly accused of crimes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fucking insane, Matt. | ||
| Yeah, well, she kind of has... | ||
| I mean, they kind of have like a direct line to the president, so they at least have some resource to go to if they need it. | ||
| But she doesn't have to do that. | ||
| That lady's worth fucking hundreds of millions of dollars. | ||
| She can do whatever the fuck she wants. | ||
| But she's doing that with her spare time. | ||
| It's... | ||
| It's really incredible. | ||
| I've completely stopped Making fun of her Yeah I respect the fact That she did that too It's like she could be doing A lot more stuff with her time And she's just She's helping people so Yeah Yeah I never really Fucked with her that much Paris certainly had a bad Interview with So I didn't really care for her What you had a bad interview On ONA Yeah They told us be nice to her Who told us to be nice? | ||
| The publicist? | ||
| Yeah, we promised we wouldn't be confrontational. | ||
| So I remember, I watched a recent Opie film, but we weren't supposed to film it, but Opie had a camera going. | ||
| And I was just getting really annoyed because she was being very distant. | ||
| So what happened? | ||
| So you go to this store, right? | ||
| And she's like, you have to watch it. | ||
| And I'm like, that's not a way to promote, to tell people you have to watch it. | ||
| Oh, this is when she had a television show? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sorry, I keep fucking with the mic. | ||
| It's a terrible habit I have. | ||
| It's my OCD just getting it just right. | ||
| Keep moving, keep moving. | ||
| It's really irritating me that I'm doing it. | ||
| But it just wasn't a good interview. | ||
| We wanted to be really cruel to her because I didn't think she was being nice. | ||
| I thought she was being not nice to us. | ||
| But we had promised we wouldn't. | ||
| So it just came off as awkward and weird. | ||
| I forgot that she had a TV show. | ||
| She's one that sort of slipped into obscurity on purpose, it seems like. | ||
| Yeah, she's got product lines. | ||
| She's making a fucking billion a year. | ||
| She's making money doing her product. | ||
| I think she's got a whole bunch of stuff that's got her name on it. | ||
| Right, but it seems like she's taking herself out of the public eye. | ||
| For a lot of them, they realize, hey, this isn't good for you. | ||
| You know, the sting of all this scrutiny and people hating you. | ||
| People fucking hated her, man. | ||
| Yeah, they did. | ||
| She represented this vapid, you know, sort of trend. | ||
| I wanted to like her, too. | ||
| I wanted to be... | ||
| I did not want to dislike her for that reason. | ||
| I'm like, it's too easy. | ||
| Like, all these guys hate her. | ||
| But then she came in. | ||
| I'm like, I get it. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| Because it wasn't pleasant. | ||
| I didn't hate her. | ||
| I just was like, come on. | ||
| That could have been better. | ||
| I wonder, like... | ||
| What's the matter, Jamie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was just looking. | |
| She's got a documentary coming out. | ||
| It just came out. | ||
| Oh, super important to hear. | ||
| Watch that documentary. | ||
| Oh, you know what I heard is amazing? | ||
| The Aaron Hernandez documentary. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| I heard it's incredible. | ||
| Yeah, I saw it's three parts. | ||
| Probably could have been two. | ||
| Sometimes Netflix will do three when they could do two, but it was very good. | ||
| Interesting to hear him talk about the sexuality and the whole... | ||
| I was under the illusion, and it's funny because I talk about his hanging. | ||
| I do a suicide hunk. | ||
| I get this... | ||
| I'm on Netflix with the degenerates, and part of it is I'm talking about suicide and hanging, and I reference his, and I get one part of it wrong because I thought he was in jail for killing... | ||
| I didn't realize he didn't get convicted of killing those first two people. | ||
| He didn't? | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| What was he in jail for? | ||
| The one guy. | ||
| Not the other two. | ||
| I didn't realize he was acquitted of that. | ||
| So I got that part wrong. | ||
| So he killed three people? | ||
| That's what he was... | ||
| Believe to, but I believe it was only one person and the two people he was acquitted. | ||
| I was shocked to realize that. | ||
| I was like, well, fuck, I already did the bit. | ||
| Goddamn. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He really hung himself, too. | ||
| He really committed to it. | ||
| They didn't go into the hanging as much. | ||
| I wanted the details of that. | ||
| Because I read the details about what he did to prevent himself from being saved. | ||
| I'm like, I hope I got that right because I read that he put detergent on the floor so the guards wouldn't be able to get their footing. | ||
| He put cardboard in the doors they couldn't open so it would jam. | ||
| I heard he did all that, but the documentary didn't go into that. | ||
| I kind of wish they had. | ||
| Unless I'm wrong. | ||
| Well, they said that he had extreme CTE. Yeah. | ||
| Extreme. | ||
| And I think there are a lot of people out there like that. | ||
| There's a lot of people out there that are playing pro football, fighters, anybody involved in extreme contact sports that have extreme CTE. It scares the fuck out of me, man. | ||
| You know, I fell skiing recently. | ||
| Banged my head real bad. | ||
| I was skiing going around this corner and this lady, she seemed like she was new. | ||
| She was like on a slope trying to get her skis back under her and she slid right into the trail and I saw her and I was like, fuck! | ||
| And I tried to get away from her. | ||
| My leg went sideways and I fell back and bang! | ||
| Hit the back of my head off the ground. | ||
| I have a crack in my shin bone. | ||
| It's called an insufficiency fracture. | ||
| It's like right... | ||
| Where your cartilage meets your shin bone, the bone that's like a crack in my bone. | ||
| I mean, I hit hard. | ||
| Can you do anything or it's just heals? | ||
| Just heals. | ||
| It's actually fine. | ||
| I mean, it was probably a month or so ago, and it doesn't cause me any pain anymore. | ||
| I knew something was wrong and I got an MRI on it, but what I was really worried about was my head. | ||
| Because I've been hit in the head so many fucking times. | ||
| So many times. | ||
| I don't know how many times I've been hit in the head. | ||
| Kicked in the head. | ||
| Punched in the head. | ||
| You know, headbutts. | ||
| Knees to the head. | ||
| Just so many times. | ||
| And you wonder, like, what's in there? | ||
| You know, like, when you see a guy like Aaron Hernandez, who was 28 years old, I think? | ||
| And they said he had the brain of, like, a fucking 80-year-old Alzheimer's patient. | ||
| Like, his brain was fucked. | ||
| Yeah, his decision-making. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What does it say? | |
| Hitch in the front, I think. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Aaron Hernandez suffered from the most severe CTE ever found in a person his age. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See, I don't think I have CTE like that. | ||
| So he was 27. I don't think I have it like that, but I have it. | ||
| Do you think you have it? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Does everybody get it, though? | ||
| Does everybody take shots? | ||
| Yeah, I think everybody gets it. | ||
| You get a little bit of it. | ||
| Don't you worry about too traumatic brain injury when you fall like that, like what Liam Neeson's wife died of? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's fucking scary for a fall. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, you know, once I was okay, you know, a few days later, I wasn't necessarily worried about that. | ||
| But I definitely, I think I had a concussion because I was real dizzy afterwards. | ||
| And I felt weird. | ||
| Like I felt off. | ||
| And then I was with my daughter, my 11-year-old, and we were getting on the fucking ski lift, and I spazzed, and I got a little too far ahead, like when the ski lift comes, and then I tried to go back because I was in the wrong place. | ||
| I moved to, you know, like I should have waited for the next one to come, and then I didn't, and then I fell down, and then I couldn't get back up. | ||
| So I was just, I was dizzy. | ||
| I was like a little bit out of it. | ||
| And my daughter didn't know that I fell down. | ||
| And then I'm like, I'm a little out of it. | ||
| I hit my head. | ||
| And she's like, when did you hit your head? | ||
| You didn't hit your head. | ||
| And I'm like, not now. | ||
| I just then had hit my head. | ||
| The whole rest of the day, I was not talking that good. | ||
| I was a little out of it. | ||
| I got rocked. | ||
| It was a... | ||
| Bang! | ||
| Like my head, my legs went out and it was just back of the head on hard packed snow. | ||
| I got knocked out by a baseball when I was a kid. | ||
| I was so dumb. | ||
| Because my sinuses are so fucked up and a part of me thinks I've taken two baseballs One really hard line drive to the middle of my face. | ||
| I was underhand pitching to my friend Rob, probably from here to your TV, and he drilled a line drive into my fucking face. | ||
| And I woke up and I was on the ground and he was standing over me panic-stricken that I was dead. | ||
| And then there was another time where I was a fly ball and I just misjudged it and it split my head open. | ||
| Did you get your nose checked? | ||
| Yeah, I've got surgery. | ||
| I gotta go back for surgery. | ||
| I'm going Monday to actually see somebody. | ||
| I'm a fucking kid. | ||
| Have you had the surgery before? | ||
| Yeah, it didn't do much. | ||
| Deviated septum surgery? | ||
| Yeah, but it's just not enough. | ||
| Didn't work? | ||
| No. | ||
| Plus, I take Cialis, so that might fuck me up with your turbinates opening and swelling a little bit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It changed my life. | ||
| I had it done. | ||
| I know. | ||
| You're the one who got me on the whole mouth guard thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't have the one you have with the one that pushes the tongue down. | ||
| I have one that pushes the tongue down. | ||
| Does it work? | ||
| It makes it possible to fall asleep, but it doesn't keep me asleep. | ||
| You should get the tongue down one, man. | ||
| Next time you're here, I'll bring you to that doctor's office that does those. | ||
| Yeah, I really do need that, but I don't know if I can get used to that. | ||
| You can. | ||
| You can. | ||
| I sleep like a baby with it. | ||
| I shoved that fucker in there. | ||
| I've had one for years. | ||
| And you don't need a mask? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No, I don't need a mask. | ||
| But I don't snore. | ||
| I don't snore anymore. | ||
| But if I take that fucker off, if I go to sleep and I don't pay attention to me, my wife punches me. | ||
| She's like, wake up, you're snoring. | ||
| She doesn't punch me, but you know. | ||
| She wakes you up. | ||
| Wake up, wake up. | ||
| You're lying. | ||
| Because I'm like... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know. | ||
| I've lost a lot of weight recently. | ||
| I wonder if my snoring would be less. | ||
| Because I lost weight in my face. | ||
| I lost weight in my neck. | ||
| I lost weight everywhere. | ||
| On purpose? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I went on this carnivore diet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| I lost 12 pounds in a month just eating only meat. | ||
| That doesn't scare you? | ||
| No. | ||
| Why doesn't it scare you? | ||
| Meat always scares me because I've always heard that cancer loves meat. | ||
| So that's always frightening. | ||
| Cancer loves sugar. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Whole 30 is what I put weight on. | ||
| I probably put 15 pounds on and I'm so angry at myself because I have to wear a suit and my pants don't fit. | ||
| Why do you have to wear a suit? | ||
| I'm just presenting something tomorrow and I just... | ||
| What are you presenting? | ||
| It's an award show, but it's not televised. | ||
| It's like an art director award or something. | ||
| So they asked me to do it, and I never get asked to do that shit. | ||
| So I have to wear my suit. | ||
| I have to buy a new suit after this. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| I won't buy clothes. | ||
| I'd just rather be uncomfortable. | ||
| But I was such a fat twat. | ||
| I looked at myself yesterday. | ||
| I'm like, you fucking pig. | ||
| I really had a meltdown last night. | ||
| I forgot my pants. | ||
| All I have is suit pants. | ||
| I don't have regular jeans with me. | ||
| Do you spiral like when you like you decide you fucked up? | ||
| Do you start spiraling like hate spiral? | ||
| It's crazy how I I I don't do it as badly anymore cuz I've caught myself So many but that takes me to a very dangerous place like it's taking me to a really bad place So I like I try not to do that Because the next thing you know, you're walking around the house fucking putting a belt around your neck, just kind of testing, not tying it, but just holding it and just seeing what it feels like to have a belt. | ||
| How many times have you done that? | ||
| Literally hundreds. | ||
| Please call me. | ||
| I'm not going to do it. | ||
| Please. | ||
| I would never. | ||
| But call me. | ||
| Yes, sir. | ||
| I'm just saying it's some things like anyone who's ever gone through with it and done that, like Robin and fucking Bourdain, I would love to sit with those guys and just... | ||
| Like, I guarantee that was the 508th time you did that. | ||
| Not necessarily tried it, but that put it there. | ||
| Guarantee you. | ||
| A hundred percent. | ||
| A hundred percent. | ||
| You've talked to other people that have the same sort of thing? | ||
| No, I just know the process. | ||
| I just know the process. | ||
| Like, you can't just one day... | ||
| You feel it. | ||
| You give yourself a shot. | ||
| You see what that feels like. | ||
| You hate yourself. | ||
| And then you let it go. | ||
| And then you take it off and you don't tie it to anything. | ||
| I would guess. | ||
| Well, a guy like Bourdain, man, that one was such a bummer to me. | ||
| That was the biggest bummer. | ||
| I mean, Brody was a giant bummer, too. | ||
| I forgot about Brody, yeah. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| That was a huge bummer. | ||
| Did you see it coming? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I didn't know him well enough. | ||
| No, I knew he had bouts where he wasn't doing well. | ||
| Everybody loved him, though, man. | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| You'd see him. | ||
| I never didn't hug that guy. | ||
| Every time I saw him, I hugged him. | ||
| He was such a good guy. | ||
| Everybody loved him. | ||
| Nobody didn't like Brody. | ||
| Except Brody. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, he was sick. | ||
| He had all kinds of different medications that they had tried on him and all sorts of different issues, but he would go off the reservation sometime. | ||
| Oh, that's a bad expression, right? | ||
| Someone's saying that was a racist. | ||
| Who said that? | ||
| Oh, it was Daryl. | ||
| Yeah, it's a racist expression, apparently. | ||
| He would go haywire and You didn't know what was going on, but he'd be on stage yelling, but it wasn't funny. | ||
| Brody was hilarious, and his style of comedy was so uniquely him. | ||
| If you wrote it down on paper, you wouldn't understand why it was funny. | ||
| But then when you saw him in real life, you'd be fucking crying and laughing. | ||
| He was so funny. | ||
| But then I'd see him sometimes, and he would be... | ||
| There was no funny. | ||
| It was just him complaining about stuff. | ||
| I'm like, when is this going to turn silly? | ||
| Because usually it turns silly, but it didn't turn silly. | ||
| And then people are like, oh, Brody's off his medication. | ||
| So yeah, you wonder how many times did he dry run it? | ||
| Did he dry run it? | ||
| Because you can't be that, again, maybe there's exceptions to the rule, but you cannot be a depressed person and dealing with that all the time and not have dry run it. | ||
| I mean, I don't think anybody ever puts a gun in their mouth and shoots themselves the first time. | ||
| I'm sure it's something you've walked through a bunch of times and just couldn't make yourself do it. | ||
| God damn. | ||
| Yes, the time you kill yourself is the time you can finally just not stop yourself from doing it. | ||
| But I guarantee you he had gone through that a bunch. | ||
| I just know too many people. | ||
| Too many people that have done that now. | ||
| I think I know... | ||
| I mean, it might be seven or eight comics that have killed themselves in the time. | ||
| I mean, guys that never made it, too. | ||
| Most of them were not as known as Brody or Richard Jenny or Rupp. | ||
| A lot of them were guys that just didn't ever get up above... | ||
| I never really knew Jenny. | ||
| You know, I said hi to him when I was friendly with him. | ||
| You called me when I was in Pittsburgh. | ||
| I was in the green room when you called me. | ||
| He was a giant influence on me when I was starting. | ||
| He was so good. | ||
| I talk about him too much to the point where people get annoyed, but I just want people to know. | ||
| In the 80s, that guy was the fucking man. | ||
| Like, you don't know how good he was. | ||
| When I was an open-miker in 1988, I went to see him at Catch a Rising Star in New York, and I was like, this guy is fucking brilliant. | ||
| He was fucking brilliant. | ||
| But, you know, I forget who he was talking about the other day. | ||
| I don't even know if it was on here, but they were saying that he liked two things. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| And he would tell you. | ||
| He likes comedy and porn. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's all he cared about. | ||
| And, like, literally, like, didn't really socialize. | ||
| You know, maybe had a girlfriend or didn't have, you know, on and off. | ||
| But comedy and porn. | ||
| Didn't have any hobbies. | ||
| Didn't, you know, always wanted to be, like, Seinfeld. | ||
| Always wanted to have the sitcom or be Jim Carrey, have the movies. | ||
| But it never really happened. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He was such a great comic. | ||
| I think the last time I talked to him, he called me about... | ||
| And I didn't know him that well, but I knew him just from the business. | ||
| And he was unhappy because they had been attacking him online about something. | ||
| Like bashing him, not saying he wasn't funny or whatever. | ||
| It was just one of those things where a site trashes you. | ||
| He was really upset by it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| I'm like, you're so much bigger than this. | ||
| He didn't almost understand how influential or powerful a comic he was. | ||
| That that would bother him. | ||
| That's why I wish he survived to podcasting. | ||
| I wish he survived to realize how much we, other comics, appreciated him. | ||
| I tell this story, but I'll tell it again. | ||
| Eastside Comedy Club in Long Island in the late 80s, early 90s, he did Friday and Saturday, two shows Friday, two shows Saturday, four different hours. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Murdered. | |
| They said that everyone was standing around afterwards like he just did four different hours. | ||
| Like, we should fucking quit. | ||
| We're here pawing off the same shitty 40 minutes, you know, just trying to pretend that we're a headliner, and this guy just murked four different hours. | ||
| It's weird, too. | ||
| That club, I never did that club. | ||
| Here's my experience. | ||
| Richie Minervini booked me at that club, and then I get there, and there's a lock on the door. | ||
| Like, the only time I was there, I fucking showed up. | ||
| It was like the weekend is fucking shit. | ||
| Fucking shut down. | ||
| Richie's brother was a mixed martial arts commentator. | ||
| He was a sports guy. | ||
| He did World Combat Championships, I think it was called. | ||
| He was the play-by-play guy. | ||
| He was the play-by-play guy. | ||
| And it was like... | ||
| The early days of fighting, when the UFC had just started, and Henzo Gracie fought Oleg Taktarov, and Richie's brother was the play-by-play commentator. | ||
| Yeah, like he did the John Anik, Mike Goldberg role. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember thinking, this is so crazy. | ||
| Because I don't think at the time I had even done any work for the UFC. I think at the time, I was just a fan. | ||
| What year did you start with then? | ||
| 97. Oh, okay. | ||
| 20 years. | ||
| 23 years. | ||
| Isn't that nuts? | ||
| I started at UFC 12 in Dothan, Alabama. | ||
| How was your first broadcast? | ||
| They didn't give me any instruction. | ||
| Nobody told me what to do. | ||
| Nobody told me how to do it. | ||
| Nobody told me shit. | ||
| They just said, do you want a gig interviewing the fighters after the fights? | ||
| I was like, sure. | ||
| And then it was so rinky-dink. | ||
| We were in this weird little fucking hotel... | ||
| That's where we were staying. | ||
| We flew in there on a propeller plane. | ||
| The gig was supposed to be in Buffalo, New York, but New York State banned it at the last minute. | ||
| So Bob Meyerowitz, who was the owner of the company, and Campbell McLaren, who was the guy who hired me, they told me, you're going down to Alabama instead. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| So I flew in to one part of Alabama and then took a puddle jumper. | ||
| And landed in Dothan and that was like the place where they were allowed to do the show there and it was this little auditorium it wasn't very big at all and the first show I ever worked at Mark the Hammer Coleman beat Dan Severn for the UFC heavyweight title UFC 12 Vitor Belfort made his debut and I was actually training at Vitor school I was a white belt Carlson Gracie's in 97. And I had been there since 96. I started | ||
| training there in 96. And then in 97, Vitor was making his UFC debut. | ||
| And just by sheer luck, I happened to be at the actual gym with Carlos Barreto and Mario Sperry and all these just assassins back then. | ||
| And I got to be the post-fight interview guy. | ||
| Yeah, it was nuts, man. | ||
| That's me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at my earring. | ||
| Ooh, so cute. | ||
| Little cutie pie. | ||
| Yeah, so that was way, way back in the dizzy, man. | ||
| 1997. Rodrigo Medeiros. | ||
| There's Vitor. | ||
| When you think in 97, you're like, fuck, I was doing comedy seven years by that point. | ||
| Like, it's a long time ago, and I was already in the business. | ||
| Yeah, I was nine years in at that point in comedy. | ||
| Because I started in 88, yeah. | ||
| And I didn't book gigs. | ||
| I actually had to quit because it was costing me money. | ||
| Because if I would go to do a UFC, I don't remember how much I made. | ||
| It wasn't that much to do the interview stuff. | ||
| But then if I could do a comedy gig, I could make like two grand for a weekend. | ||
| So I was like, why am I doing that when I can make two grand? | ||
| Like, what am I doing? | ||
| I'm making like one instead of two. | ||
| It was just costing me money. | ||
| Plus, anything that got in the way of comedy was difficult, too. | ||
| It was, but for me, my life started with martial arts. | ||
| I mean, that was also... | ||
| I started in 88, and the last time I fought was 89. So that was probably somewhere in the neighborhood of eight years since my serious competition days. | ||
| So I still loved it. | ||
| I was still into it. | ||
| And I was loving that this new thing was around. | ||
| So I was happy to be there. | ||
| Even though it wasn't like... | ||
| It wasn't affecting my career in a good way. | ||
| In fact, the people that were, I was on news radio at the time, and the people that were the producers were like, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| Like, why are you doing this? | ||
| Like, why would, why would, they, they treated me like I was going off to do, like, porn. | ||
| Right. | ||
| What is this fucking violent thing you're talking about and being a part of and putting your face on? | ||
| But, yeah, and I was, like, an expert. | ||
| Like, I was the expert interviewer, asking people questions, doing things like, you're attaching yourself to cage fighting? | ||
| The fuck is wrong with you? | ||
| But I loved it, man. | ||
| I loved it. | ||
| I was so excited to see this happen because we had always wondered. | ||
| When I started doing martial arts, you know, I started in karate. | ||
| I did like a little bit of kung fu, then I did karate. | ||
| Kung fu was like one lesson. | ||
| And then a little bit of karate, but then I got balls deep into Taekwondo. | ||
| But everybody always wanted to know what was the best martial art. | ||
| And I switched from Taekwondo and I started doing kickboxing and boxing because I realized my hands were terrible. | ||
| And then I'm like, man, I thought it was good because I was good at Taekwondo, but this boxing stuff is more important to learn. | ||
| I need to learn that. | ||
| And then I started doing jujitsu and getting strangled. | ||
| I'm like, fuck, I don't know anything. | ||
| And I remember thinking when the UFC came along, finally, we're going to figure out what works. | ||
| Finally, we're going to know what works. | ||
| You know, and now look at it. | ||
| You work for the UFC now. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| Because I love it so much, and I love just, I'm a fan, so I just, I love the fact that I just get to talk to the fighters and hang with Matt. | ||
| Like, it's a really... | ||
| I love Matt. | ||
| I love Matt, too. | ||
| Matt Sauer is a fucking gem of a human being. | ||
| He's 100% genuine. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He's exactly the same on the air. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He's the same guy. | ||
| He's beautiful. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| He really is. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| Matt's an amazing guy. | ||
| Being a part of it, even in the way I am, which is a peripheral way, I don't fight. | ||
| I don't train. | ||
| Have you thought about training? | ||
| A lot. | ||
| Caitlin Chukagin keeps telling me, I'm going to go to your first class. | ||
| I want you to come to Henzo's. | ||
| Yes, she's been telling me for two years. | ||
| But I get so claustrophobic and tired from not sleeping, but whatever. | ||
| The UFC Unfiltered fans want to smash me for yapping about it. | ||
| I want to take it. | ||
| You just got to do it. | ||
| I know if you're tired from lack of sleep and everything like that, but just do it. | ||
| And you should go to this doctor and get a real mouth, because you can't sleep with a CPAP, right? | ||
| It bothers you? | ||
| I need a mouthpiece, but I also... | ||
| I can't do CPAP anyway. | ||
| I need ASV, which is both types of apnea it covers. | ||
| But yeah, I want to either go to Henzo's or... | ||
| Henzo's is great. | ||
| Just go. | ||
| I think Jimmy Rivera has a place around there too. | ||
| Does he? | ||
| I believe so, yeah. | ||
| Tiger Shulman's one of the... | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's far from where I live and he's invited me to do that. | ||
| Just go. | ||
| Just go. | ||
| Just do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| I just have to do it. | ||
| Just make yourself do it. | ||
| Yeah, it's fun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You'd love it. | |
| I'll suck at it. | ||
| It'll be okay. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Everybody sucks at it in the beginning. | ||
| I sucked at it. | ||
| I can clearly remember being just tortured, raped by this dude. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| This guy just destroyed me. | ||
| Do you get used to the sweat on you? | ||
| Like, I think that would always bother me. | ||
| You do, right? | ||
| Yeah, get used to it. | ||
| Get used to anything. | ||
| It's good for you. | ||
| Not the sweat, but the physical contact. | ||
| It actually... | ||
| There's a camaraderie with jiu-jitsu that... | ||
| It's very different than any other martial art. | ||
| You're trying to kill each other, but you're also looking after each other. | ||
| The guys who you really care about, like Tenth Planet guys or John Jock's guys when I trained with them, nobody hurt you. | ||
| If you got hurt, it was by accident. | ||
| Guys were, you know, you're trying to kill each other, but you knew that if they got you in an arm bar, that they were not going to try to break your arm. | ||
| They were going to hold it and, you know, give you an opportunity to try to get out of it if you could, or tap. | ||
| And no one was going to, like, just fucking yank it. | ||
| No one ever does that. | ||
| No one. | ||
| And you appreciate that. | ||
| It's like a good feeling that you know that if this guy does get you in something and you tap, they immediately let go. | ||
| They stop. | ||
| Yeah, and then you slap hands and you go, damn, you got me, you motherfucker. | ||
| And you laugh. | ||
| And then you go back and do it again. | ||
| Because I'm fascinated. | ||
| I want to do it. | ||
| Honestly, my own laziness is one reason I just haven't. | ||
| Because Matt loves talking about choking. | ||
| Matt loves the idea of strangling somebody with their own coat. | ||
| He's like, oh, a winter coat, that's a gift! | ||
| Oh, it is. | ||
| I mean, I always said, like, if you were fighting in a street against a judo player, and you had a winter coat on, oh my god, you're so fucked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because they're just gonna fucking grab you and use the world on you. | ||
| Because literally, slam your head into the world. | ||
| Especially New York City, like the streets, just fucking shit. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| The worst. | ||
| You should be naked and greasy if you ever think about getting in a fight with somebody. | ||
| I would have to train with clothes, with a gi, I think, if I ever do it, just because I'm going to be on the subway. | ||
| No one's going to be shirtless. | ||
| If I ever have to fucking defend myself, they're going to probably have clothes on. | ||
| Yeah, but you'd learn how to use the clothes. | ||
| I'd do both. | ||
| You'd learn how to use gi, no gi. | ||
| You'd learn how to do both. | ||
| It's no big deal. | ||
| If someone has clothes on, it's not like you don't know what to grab because they have clothes on. | ||
| It's simple. | ||
| They're all nice. | ||
| I'm not worried about it. | ||
| I'm not afraid of it. | ||
| I like the people so much who I've met involved with. | ||
| I've never met anybody involved with it who I didn't like. | ||
| Yeah, they're nice people, right? | ||
| All of them are nice people. | ||
| None of them are dicks. | ||
| None of them give that energy off. | ||
| They all know they can strangle me. | ||
| Nobody makes you feel that way. | ||
| Well, that's why a guy like Matt Serra is such a good guy because he's got such a good character. | ||
| You kind of notice that from a lot of fighters, right? | ||
| They have great character. | ||
| One of the reasons why they have great character is they don't have a problem with their ego. | ||
| They're controlled. | ||
| They understand who they are. | ||
| They feel good. | ||
| I'm never uncomfortable around any of them. | ||
| Never for that reason, at least. | ||
| No matter who they are or what position they're in, they're all kind of the same. | ||
| None of them come off with that alpha energy that other athletes give you. | ||
| I remember on ONA, you'd have everybody choke you. | ||
| I used to do that, yeah. | ||
| BJ was the first guy. | ||
| He was coming off a loss, and I wanted to see what it felt like. | ||
| I knew it wouldn't be the same, but I had seen arm bars, and I wanted to know what does it feel like when somebody grabs your arm that way. | ||
| So he did it. | ||
| They were all pretty gentle. | ||
| Fedor put me in a fucking good one. | ||
| Did he? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| His hurt. | ||
| And I was like, ah! | ||
| And he laughed. | ||
| And he did it again. | ||
| But to feel those things, it gives you such a respect for the fact that there's guys that are doing this for real. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| This is a guy just showing some fucking idiot on the radio. | ||
| Didn't John Jones gently leg kick you, too? | ||
| No. | ||
| John Jones fucking put a hard leg kick. | ||
| He was like weight-cut wheat. | ||
| So he might not have been the best of fucking moods. | ||
| He put me... | ||
| He shin-kicked me... | ||
| Across the leg. | ||
| It hurts so bad. | ||
| I know, but I'm being honest. | ||
| I think he did it lightly. | ||
| I'm sure he did. | ||
| Let me see. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Look at my hands up. | ||
| Put your dukes up. | ||
| That's light. | ||
| Compared to what he could have done. | ||
| That's light. | ||
| But I almost threw up. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| Look at you. | ||
| Look at you. | ||
| I almost vomited. | ||
| I had to go to the bathroom because I thought I was going to faint. | ||
| Okay, but I'm telling you right now, that wasn't even 50%. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Not even close. | ||
| That probably wasn't even 30%. | ||
| All that was was like the weight of his leg. | ||
| Yeah, no, he could have really fucking leveled me. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Kane has choked me. | ||
| I've had a few guys do things. | ||
| Who hurt you the most? | ||
| John, that kick. | ||
| I had to wear a leg brace. | ||
| I'm not exaggerating. | ||
| For how long? | ||
| My knee had been fucked up, so I probably put one on for three months after that, but... | ||
| The face that you would get. | ||
| Randy, go to her. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a whole... | ||
| Oh, what has Fedor got you in an arm lock? | ||
| Oh, who's got you in a heel hook? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was Brock. | |
| Brock Lesnar, no! | ||
| You let Brock Lesnar touch your knees? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, that's so terrible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Rashad punched you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's a whole fucking series of people beating on you. | ||
| But it was never a test. | ||
| It was never like, hey, let's see how the hurt. | ||
| Oh, John punched you too? | ||
| You let him punch you and kick you? | ||
| It was a different outfit. | ||
| That's a different day. | ||
| Oh, Uriah punched you in the arm too? | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's a whole video series of you getting beat up by UFC fighters. | |
| This is so horrible, dude. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Who got me in that? | ||
| Was that Frank or Ken? | ||
| Frank. | ||
| Oh, Anderson kicked you? | ||
| Yeah, not hard though. | ||
| Anderson's a nice guy. | ||
| He wouldn't kick me that hard. | ||
| That's good for him, man. | ||
| I'm glad. | ||
| We're going to have him kick you in the arm? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You could break your arm easy, man. | ||
| Yeah, but I always trust these guys. | ||
| I know that none of them are going to do it so hard. | ||
| That they do anything to me that's going to damage me? | ||
| Because they all know I'm not fighting. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But I all know that they could... | ||
| I just trust them for some reason. | ||
| I trust them to be gentle. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| Well, they're nice people. | ||
| Plus, they know it's the radio. | ||
| They're not trying to hurt you. | ||
| John got you in a choke, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is so crazy, dude. | ||
| All these people fucking... | ||
| Look, Fedor... | ||
| Yeah, Fedor wouldn't let go. | ||
| He wouldn't let go. | ||
| No, he enjoyed it. | ||
| Do you know Fedor just got you again? | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| He tapped you like three times. | ||
| Look at Rashad's getting you in a triangle. | ||
| Oh my god, that is hilarious, dude. | ||
| Yeah, Rhonda armbarred me. | ||
| I had some really fun ones, man. | ||
| I wish I had done more of these because it was really a bit done out of respect for what they do. | ||
| Right, just to feel what it's like. | ||
| To watch someone who's world-class and one of the best alive at doing that... | ||
| And then all of a sudden, to have them do it to you, it felt like, fuck, man, this is how good this guy is at this. | ||
| How did you get the gig with the UFC? How'd that work? | ||
| Dana had asked me one time, you know, we'd known each other a long time, and he'd say, one day we're going to work together. | ||
| We're going to do something. | ||
| I don't know what. | ||
| And I was like, all right, you know, and I would see him at events and whatever, and I just got a phone call one day. | ||
| He's like, hey, man, we're doing a podcast with Matt Sari. | ||
| You want to do it? | ||
| He fucking just called me and goes, here's the money. | ||
| Do you want to do the podcast? | ||
| It was a phone call from Dana offering me the podcast. | ||
| Matt was already in place, and I said, yeah, I would love to. | ||
| So we worked out a couple of things with my job where I was able to do something else with my name on it, and he just hired me. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I'm hired as a comedian who loves UFC. Matt is the guy who can play-by-play call, who can analyze jujitsu so beautifully, and that's not what I do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, it's interesting that the UFC even has a podcast, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| UFC Unfiltered. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, they could have just got two analysts to do it, but I think Danny just wanted a different tone to it. | ||
| How often do you guys do it? | ||
| Once a week? | ||
| Twice a week. | ||
| Twice a week? | ||
| I see Matt every Monday and Wednesday. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And you meet in the city at a studio or something? | ||
| Meet in the city in a studio. | ||
| We had a lot of fighters on. | ||
| Usually they're not in studio. | ||
| A lot of times they're Skyping in. | ||
| That sucks. | ||
| I prefer in studio. | ||
| Oh, every time. | ||
| I've only done a couple of Skypes. | ||
| Two, actually. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Snowden? | |
| Snowden and John Anthony West, who is one of my favorite guests ever. | ||
| He's an Egyptologist. | ||
| Oh, who's that? | ||
| This incredible understanding of Egypt and the hieroglyphs. | ||
| He had this great DVD series called Magical Egypt. | ||
| He just passed recently. | ||
| Amazing guy. | ||
| But him, just because he was sick and he couldn't get in here. | ||
| And then Snowden, obviously, because he's on the moon. | ||
| Yeah, wherever he is, he can't come. | ||
| That was weird. | ||
| It's weird to do... | ||
| I don't like the Skype interviews. | ||
| I prefer them to the phone, though. | ||
| Because guys would call on their way to practice. | ||
| Like, you know what I mean? | ||
| We'd have Cowboy on the phone, and he'd be just driving, going to do something, and you hear the wind, and you couldn't get anything done. | ||
| Well, the weird thing about the Snowden one, too, was it wasn't just that it was remote. | ||
| It was also, like, what we're talking about, like, who he is and what his situation is. | ||
| He's trapped in Russia, allegedly. | ||
| I mean, he might be in Cleveland. | ||
| Who the fuck knows where he is. | ||
| But that he's, you know, got this situation where he's never going to really be able to come back to the United States unless they, you know, work out some sort of a deal. | ||
| And even then, he's not going to believe them. | ||
| You know, I mean, I wouldn't believe them. | ||
| I probably wouldn't either. | ||
| Didn't he say no about UFOs, though? | ||
| Didn't you ask him when he said that he hadn't seen evidence? | ||
| He hadn't seen evidence. | ||
| But how much did he look into and how much was available to him? | ||
| And, you know, where is that kind of evidence? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| If there is any of that stuff. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe on a closed system, too? | ||
| I don't want to not believe in UFOs. | ||
| I resist it. | ||
| I resist it hard. | ||
| I'm not rational about it. | ||
| Dude, I'm trying. | ||
| I gotta piss real bad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Go ahead. | |
| Piss my pants. | ||
| There's been an uptick in UFO stuff recently. | ||
| Yeah, I wonder why. | ||
| I wonder what that is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Space Force. | |
| You know what I think honestly it is? | ||
| When the New York Times had that thing where they were talking about all the different reported UFO sightings that are reputable from people like David Fravor and these Air Force guys. | ||
| That are like otherwise rock-solid individuals who talk about their experiences. | ||
| But my problem with it, my legitimate problem with me as a human being is I want it to be real. | ||
| So when people don't think it's real, like, oh, that's all bullshit. | ||
| I'm like, no, it's real. | ||
| Like, I'm not objective. | ||
| I'm biased. | ||
| Like, legitimately biased. | ||
| And I know it. | ||
| And I'm like, come on, man. | ||
| Why are you so biased about this? | ||
| It's a weird one. | ||
| Like, I want it to be real so much. | ||
| Like, talking to Bob Lazar, like, God, I hope he's telling the truth. | ||
| I'm sure this was a theory, because it's no way to be proven, but I saw someone online postulate that the uptick in alien stuff could be, like, us coming from the future. | ||
| I've heard that, too. | ||
| That the idea is that what the grays are. | ||
| And this is something I've personally thought... | ||
| I think independently was that if you look at human beings and you look at say a gorilla, right? | ||
| You look at a gorilla was this big hairy fucking animal thing and then you slowly turn that into you know, I guess we didn't really come from gorillas we came from chimps but Chimps You know, monkeys, lower hominids, Australopithecus, you know, and then, you know, ancient man, right? | ||
| And then all these different versions of what we are until we become, right now, homo sapien 2020. Well, what are we... | ||
| How do we look different? | ||
| Well, unless you're someone who works out a lot, you're losing a lot of your musculature. | ||
| You're not as dense. | ||
| You're not as hairy. | ||
| You know, when you see, like... | ||
| That fucking killer wrestler from Russia. | ||
| Remember when we showed videos of that dude? | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| I'm trying to remember his name. | ||
| Rustam. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Rustam. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is it? | |
| Hold on. | ||
| Chiev, Rustam Chiev. | ||
| He's this fucking tank of a man that's covered in hair, but he looks like someone from the past. | ||
| You know, when he's throwing people around with this fucking giant hairy back and hair all over his chest and arms, this is that guy. | ||
| But he almost looks like a normal human there. | ||
| But there's some videos of him when he's grappling. | ||
| Like that one right there, where he's got the double flex, the red one. | ||
| Right above that, yeah. | ||
| Like, look how hairy that motherfucker is. | ||
| That guy's from another time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That is from another time. | ||
| I mean, that guy, you could comb his chest hair. | ||
| We were talking about aliens, and I was saying, if you look at people like that, like real hairy, fucking testosterone-filled savages, like this guy was an elite wrestler. | ||
| He's a killer grappler. | ||
| And then you look at aliens. | ||
| Well, if you look at chimps to that guy, to aliens, what's happening? | ||
| Well, what's happening is we're getting less hairy and we're getting smaller and weaker, right? | ||
| We're getting more and more like what an alien looks like. | ||
| And aliens have no genitals. | ||
| They have no mouths. | ||
| They're just this smooth, skinny thing with this big head and these big weird eyes. | ||
| Like, when we... | ||
| Get rid of the need. | ||
| If we evolve past the need for physical strength, if we evolve past the need for, you know, sex, if sex is, we don't reproduce any longer through just normal biological male-female sex. | ||
| If they've, you know, who knows, a million years from now, a hundred thousand years from now, we might decide that one of the biggest problems that faces human beings on earth is our emotions, Our desire for sex, biology, all of our animal instincts that we still hold onto. | ||
| And we could evolve past those. | ||
| Just like we're so much different than chimps are. | ||
| We're so much different than we used to be when we were lower hominids. | ||
| We've evolved. | ||
| We've evolved to the point where we're communicating with words. | ||
| We're using phones. | ||
| We fly in planes. | ||
| We have technology. | ||
| But also our bodies are softer. | ||
| And our bodies are less... | ||
| They're not as strong. | ||
| They're not as animalistic and explosive. | ||
| And if it continues along that path, especially aided by technology when we don't have any need, especially if we have these big ass giant brains and we can use telepathy to communicate, we can communicate through some other way, maybe even electronically enhanced, maybe, you know, something in their brain. | ||
| But when you look at an alien with the big head and the little tiny body, that's what a person is probably going to become. | ||
| Our heads are way bigger. | ||
| Our brains are bigger than other hominids and other primates. | ||
| Our bodies are softer and weaker. | ||
| And if you just keep going with that, that's what happens. | ||
| The head continues to get big. | ||
| But do they have no genitals, though? | ||
| Or is it something that, at least the phone or whatever people say they are, are they just wearing something that hides their genitals? | ||
| Could be. | ||
| I don't know if they have no genitals. | ||
| I'm pushing hard for it. | ||
| It could be no genitals, but it also could be those aren't even biological things anymore. | ||
| It could be that human beings become some sort of cybernetic, some sort of cyborg. | ||
| If you think about body parts, right? | ||
| If we start replacing body parts, like I met a gentleman the other day. | ||
| I did this benefit. | ||
| What is the guy's name? | ||
| The Australian gentleman who was a soldier who lost both his arm and his leg in a shark attack. | ||
| I did a benefit the other day with him. | ||
| For the Australian wildfire. | ||
| He's got a carbon fiber arm and a carbon fiber leg. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Shakes your hand, like grips it with his carbon fiber hand. | ||
| And, you know, right now you can tell the difference between his carbon fiber hand, this electronic hand, and his other hand. | ||
| But maybe a hundred years from now you won't be able to. | ||
| And maybe in the future it's better to have one of these artificial bodies than it is to have a biological body that can break and get all fucked up and you feel pain. | ||
| We're replacing things all the time. | ||
| We're replacing body parts all the time with operations, and we use organic substitutes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Paul DeGelder. | |
| Yes, that's the man. | ||
| Shout out to Paul. | ||
| Yeah, we did this Australian benefit with Jim Jeffries and Monty Franklin and Whitney Cummings the other night for the Australian wildfire for wildlife relief. | ||
| They lost a billion animals in that fire. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I heard. | |
| A billion. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| It's crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Anyway, In the future, maybe they'll get to the point where they'll have limbs that are better than the limbs we have. | ||
| Like, what are you doing with these biological limbs? | ||
| Jimmy, upgrade. | ||
| Give yourself a fucking alien body. | ||
| I want to believe, dude. | ||
| I saw the Lazar documentary. | ||
| You had him in. | ||
| I enjoyed it. | ||
| I didn't see the whole interview, but what I saw I liked a lot. | ||
| There's always that one place with conspiracy. | ||
| There's always a gap I cannot cross. | ||
| And for me it's the degrees. | ||
| I just can't get beyond the degrees being gone. | ||
| The two schools. | ||
| I can't get beyond it. | ||
| And I want to. | ||
| I would much rather believe in UFOs than not believe in them. | ||
| Well, he's clearly educated, and he says he worked for Los Alamos Labs, and they sent him to MIT to work on top-secret projects. | ||
| There's clear evidence that he worked at Los Alamos Labs. | ||
| Ashley, do me a favor. | ||
| Go to Jeremy's... | ||
| I think it's on his Instagram page. | ||
| It might be on his Twitter. | ||
| He has this thing where he has George Knapp explain all the different things he went through to prove that Bob Lazar was legit. | ||
| One of them being that he definitely worked at Los Alamos. | ||
| He was even in the employee registry, even though they said he didn't. | ||
| Yeah, play that and give me some volume. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The central question for me about Bob was, did he work at Los Alamos lab? | |
| If he worked there on classified projects, it is plausible that he could work at Area 51 at Papoose Lake on other stuff. | ||
| Did he work there? | ||
| I can tell you flat out he did. | ||
| 100% certain that he did. | ||
| I found his name in the phone book. | ||
| I found his name in an article in the Los Alamos newspaper. | ||
| I talked to people who were there and finally Bob took me there. | ||
| He took me into the lab with Waved at the security guys. | ||
| We brought a camera along. | ||
| This guy was familiar. | ||
| It was like a rabbit running through a burrow that he had traveled every day. | ||
| And he's waving at security guys and walking into all these buildings. | ||
| He knew his way around. | ||
| He'd been there before. | ||
| They knew him. | ||
| They let him in. | ||
| They let me in. | ||
| I interviewed people he worked with. | ||
| They said he was there. | ||
| We proved it. | ||
| And yet, the paper trail ends at a certain point. | ||
| We don't have any records. | ||
| We can't find anything. | ||
| They'd already told me they had the records. | ||
| As soon as I think I'm getting close, they yanked the rug out from under me. | ||
| He took lie detector tests. | ||
| He passed all of them. | ||
| I know that doesn't mean anything, but look, we're talking about the 1980s. | ||
| They get away with a lot back then in terms of erasing your history. | ||
| And his education is undeniable in terms of what he knows. | ||
| He's a brilliant guy. | ||
| When you talk to him, he's not faking anything. | ||
| He doesn't have any holes in his understanding of physics. | ||
| I don't know if he's telling the truth, but again, I'm not objective. | ||
| I'm biased. | ||
| I want to believe. | ||
| I want to believe as well. | ||
| I can't get beyond the school things. | ||
| To me, that says he's not being truthful. | ||
| Well, the MIT thing, I'll tell you this. | ||
| He told me that they sent him from Los Alamos Labs to there to work on something, and I'll tell you what it is off air, but I told him I wouldn't talk about it during the podcast because you're going to hear, when I tell you, you're going to go, holy fuck, and it'll make a little more sense. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Again, I'm a fucking loser. | ||
| I want it to be real. | ||
| No, but it can be real. | ||
| But I mean, I want it to be. | ||
| So I'm not looking at it. | ||
| You're very biased. | ||
| I'm invested. | ||
| I'm invested. | ||
| I'm not invested anymore. | ||
| Even the Three Naval videos. | ||
| I'm like, whenever a pilot sees something, that Tic Tac video, but now that there's something that they're saying that's making me go, that might be man-made, because they're saying something about, if we were to reveal this, it would compromise national security. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| If they could reveal all the files they have on these UFO incidents, it would compromise national security, first of all, because it'll compromise their... | ||
| If they reveal how they know that something is blocking radar, that object, whatever it was, was actively jamming radar. | ||
| I had Commander Fravor, the guy who filmed that thing, the guy who was there and who reported that thing. | ||
| I had him here. | ||
| He said that thing went from 60,000 feet down to 200 in less than a second. | ||
| There's nothing that we have that can do that. | ||
| He said that thing moved so fast, it made this travel in this radar. | ||
| You know, radar is a blip, right? | ||
| It's like, beep, beep. | ||
| Bip! | ||
| Between one blip to another, it had moved in a preposterous speed. | ||
| You couldn't even track it. | ||
| It was moving so fast. | ||
| They don't know if it did it in less than a second or if it did it in one second, but whatever it was, the amount of distance that it traveled is impossible with the laws of physics as we understand them. | ||
| Could they see it... | ||
| Could they see it with the naked eye as well? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| They can see it with the naked eye. | ||
| Is this a longer video? | ||
| They saw it under the water. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You can see the video. | ||
| You can see the thing on video. | ||
| You can see the thing on video move off. | ||
| You can see that it's actively jamming radar. | ||
| You can see that they're trying to track it and stay with it, but it's moving too fast. | ||
| See, there's something they said recently that made me think, oh, that might be man-made. | ||
| And I forget, it was something to do with compromising national security. | ||
| Whatever the quote was, I was like, that sounds like something that's man-made, and they're worried they'll compromise something that they've created. | ||
| I know what you're saying, but here's the thing. | ||
| Whatever it is, someone made. | ||
| If it's not man, then it's something from another planet. | ||
| Maybe it is man-made. | ||
| Maybe it is some project that the government has. | ||
| But whatever it is... | ||
| It's something that moves at an insane speed that we're not capable of understanding in terms of what the average person who understands propulsion and engines and combustion. | ||
| All those people. | ||
| Well, when pilots say stuff, I listen to it because they understand those things. | ||
| For me, I don't know how things are supposed to move, but they do. | ||
| So when they're confused by something, that's what got me interested, was when the Timers did the article on those. | ||
| So I really started going... | ||
| I started watching and reading, and I'm like, I want to believe. | ||
| I just can't find anything that doesn't have a gap that I can't cross. | ||
| Well, you should talk to Fravor. | ||
| He's a fucking rock-solid guy. | ||
| It's very compelling when you talk to him in person, because he doesn't want to have anything to do with publicity. | ||
| He's not interested at all. | ||
| He wanted to tell his story because he felt like they're not being honest about it, and that people... | ||
| We really should know that there's some things that we don't understand and that these guys that are down in San Diego that were at this Air Force base, they were seeing these things fairly recently before his experience. | ||
| They had seen one in the last couple weeks, I think it was. | ||
| And then they find them on the East Coast, too. | ||
| Same thing. | ||
| And they move in the same way that Bob Lazar described these things that he worked on Area S4. The same way. | ||
| Where there's something called Element 115 that Bob Lazar described in the late 80s, early 90s. | ||
| They didn't even know it was real until 2013. He was describing it long before it was ever proven to be an actionable thing. | ||
| Long before they ever created it with a particle accelerator. | ||
| Again, I'm basing this only on opinion. | ||
| I have no facts for this. | ||
| When I listened to him, my first thought was, after these things that don't line up, oh, he took somebody's story. | ||
| What he's saying is somehow true, but he's telling somebody else's story. | ||
| And that may be a total lie, but that's just what my head told me, was because he knows so much, and yet, how do they make your education disappear? | ||
| Not hard. | ||
| Not hard in the 1980s. | ||
| I still can't see it. | ||
| People that went to school with him have talked about it. | ||
| That's what I want to hear from, people who went to school with him. | ||
| Well, they have records of people that went to school with him who talked about it. | ||
| That's what I want to hear. | ||
| Also, they have records of people that worked with him at Los Alamos Labs. | ||
| They've talked about it. | ||
| Have they talked publicly? | ||
| Because that's what I haven't heard. | ||
| They've talked to George Knapp. | ||
| I know that. | ||
| I want to hear who these people are. | ||
| Not in a quiz, but I want it to be true. | ||
| Like, I want people to go out and go, yeah, he was in my fucking, my class. | ||
| I know the guy. | ||
| Well, he even talked about it on the podcast, where he went back and found these guys that he worked at the lab with. | ||
| He worked at Los Alamos Lab, for sure. | ||
| And he worked on top-secret nuclear projects. | ||
| And he worked in propulsion. | ||
| And that's one of the reasons why they sent him to this Area S4, because he put a jet engine in a Honda in the 1980s. | ||
| And, you know, the guy's a fucking super genius. | ||
| And so when he did this, they were like, well, this guy has a very intense understanding of combustion engines and propulsion and all these different things that he's creating. | ||
| And so they're like, let's see if this guy can crack this crazy nut. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so they were just bringing scientists to try to get a different perspective on these crafts. | ||
| And the one that he was working on, or one of them that he's working on, they said that they had found in an archaeological dig. | ||
| That's where it gets really crazy. | ||
| Like, they found this thing. | ||
| What he was working on? | ||
| They think what he read was that what the government was telling them when they were working there, when they were briefing him, was that human beings are the product of science projects. | ||
| That human beings were created when many, many thousands of years ago, hundreds, whatever, millions of years ago, however long it was, aliens came down here and did experiments with lower hominids. | ||
| They did experiments with primates and added their DNA and manipulated the DNA to create human beings. | ||
| And it's one of the reasons why if you see, like the only thing that's like us is dogs, in that dogs can all breed with each other. | ||
| Like a pit bull can breed with a poodle, but they don't look anything alike, right? | ||
| But they breed together perfectly. | ||
| You would assume those are two different things, right? | ||
| But they're not, they're the same thing. | ||
| That's the same with people. | ||
| Like Shaquille O'Neal could fuck Bridget the Midget, right? | ||
| They're the same thing. | ||
| Or a tiny little Asian girl. | ||
| A giant man who doesn't look anything like that. | ||
| We look so different. | ||
| Some of us are red hairs. | ||
| Some of us are Asian. | ||
| We vary so much. | ||
| We're almost like dogs in that way. | ||
| And we know that dogs are a product of manipulation. | ||
| We have manipulated dogs and turned them into what they are through selective breeding and through... | ||
| All the, you know, the different methods they use to try to achieve, you know, whatever a bulldog is or whatever a collie is. | ||
| That's why I hate fucking French bulldogs, by the way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| Because they can't breathe. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I feel that we've created this thing that you need to put a stick in its mouth. | ||
| It's fucking vicious. | ||
| It's sad. | ||
| Well, even English bulldogs, those fat boys with those... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're always lying down. | ||
| They can't breathe. | ||
| Well, even my dog, you just, you met Marshall. | ||
| He's, like, that used to be a wolf. | ||
| Wolves are what all dogs come from. | ||
| All dogs. | ||
| Even collies. | ||
| Even chihuahuas. | ||
| The origin of all those animals is a wolf. | ||
| So we took a wolf and we slowly turned it in to whatever a sheepdog is. | ||
| We slowly turned it in to whatever a fucking shibu inu is. | ||
| All these different dog species. | ||
| They all emanate from wolves. | ||
| We didn't even know that until just a few decades ago. | ||
| When they started doing... | ||
| DNA scans of dogs. | ||
| They thought they were going to find all these wild canids and all these different things that are the origin of dogs, the root of dogs. | ||
| But no, it's not. | ||
| It's all wolves. | ||
| Everything came from a wolf. | ||
| I have a Bob Lazar question. | ||
| I don't know enough about it to convince you otherwise, but I just don't. | ||
| But I'm kind of hoping you can convince me. | ||
| If they made the school records disappear, why do they leave the The records that we just saw from that place. | ||
| They didn't know they were there. | ||
| That's somebody who had a copy of the registry for that place. | ||
| Someone who worked there during the same time he did had a copy of the registry. | ||
| Dude, they didn't just eliminate his social security number. | ||
| They eliminated a lot of shit. | ||
| Dude, in the 1980s, they can make you effectively disappear. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure they can. | ||
| I mean, in the 80s, paper trails were a little bit different. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it just, I can't get beyond the two degrees. | ||
| And again, I'm sure I've heard him interviewed. | ||
| He's a very compelling guy. | ||
| The two degrees are not hard. | ||
| That's not hard to get past. | ||
| That's not hard to eliminate. | ||
| What's hard is understanding all the things he understands when it comes to science without an education. | ||
| The way he talks about it. | ||
| Have you ever seen the videos where he's describing it in the late 80s? | ||
| It's exactly the same as he describes it now. | ||
| Exactly the same. | ||
| No variation whatsoever. | ||
| If you tell a story 40 years ago and then I ask you again today to tell me that same story, Most bullshitters are going to have some holes in that story and change it. | ||
| It doesn't mean he's telling the truth, but he's been insanely consistent. | ||
| I would almost think, too, that a lot of times truth tellers have things change. | ||
| That's why eyewitness testimony is so unreliable, because even a truth teller will make mistakes over time. | ||
| If it's a story that I've created, I think I'm less likely to forget details if I've created it because I have a beginning, middle, and end to it. | ||
| Right, but it's very complicated what he's saying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What he's saying is very complicated in the descriptions of them, descriptions of these crafts and the way the propulsion system works and the fact that it uses this incredibly dense element that doesn't even exist on Earth in, you know, 1989 or whatever it was, but now they've found actually is a real thing. | ||
| Like, that element 115, that was, people were saying that's science fiction, you're making things up. | ||
| But now that they have created it in particle accelerators, they're like, oh, Okay, this is a real thing. | ||
| Now, what if there's a planet that has a completely different atmosphere, completely different relationship with its star and element 115 is common? | ||
| Like, they find things in asteroids all the time that are very, very rare on Earth, but very common in space. | ||
| It's one of the ways that they know whether or not we've been impacted. | ||
| Like, one of the ways they know that the Yucatan was hit with this gigantic asteroid that killed the dinosaurs 65 million years ago is a layer of iridium at 65 million years. | ||
| Iridium is very, very rare on Earth, but very common in space. | ||
| And this layer of it, this dense layer at 65 million years ago, shows that that's when it was hit. | ||
| That this giant chunk of space rock slammed into the Earth and killed everything. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Look, I like the fact you're skeptical. | ||
| I'm very skeptical. | ||
| I wish I was more. | ||
| And I don't want to be. | ||
| Because I really want to believe it. | ||
| Because it also gives us a hope that we have some kind of a possible immortality somewhere. | ||
| Believe me, I fucking like Ray Kurzweil as much as anybody does. | ||
| He gives us all hope. | ||
| But I keep getting to a sticking point. | ||
| Every single time, there's something I can't get beyond when it comes to that conspiracy. | ||
| I know what you mean. | ||
| I know what you mean. | ||
| Look, I thought it was all horseshit for a long time. | ||
| I was mocking it all for a long time. | ||
| And then Jeremy Corbell's documentary really flipped the switch with me. | ||
| I was like, God, Damn it, is this real? | ||
| And then getting to know Jeremy and talking to him and then getting to know Bob, having dinner with Bob and then getting Bob to come here and sit down. | ||
| It was very hard to get him to come in. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Very hard. | ||
| Very hard. | ||
| He was super nervous. | ||
| He was getting migraines. | ||
| He didn't want the scrutiny. | ||
| And then, meanwhile, while he's doing Jeremy's documentary, they fucking raid his business. | ||
| They raid his business and go through all his stuff. | ||
| The FBI did. | ||
| They caught it all on video. | ||
| This is not just a regular guy. | ||
| They're going through all of his data. | ||
| They're going through all of his emails. | ||
| They confiscated his computers. | ||
| They didn't find anything. | ||
| He's free and clear. | ||
| But they were looking for Element 115, he thinks. | ||
| Because he had some, apparently. | ||
| And they had done some tests, and there's a video of it with George Knapp, where they've got fog. | ||
| They're using some sort of a fog machine, and they're showing how this gives off a certain field that makes it almost impossible to grab and touch, and this fog is rejected by this field. | ||
| And what they're saying about that element is, and I'm going to butcher this, I don't really understand the science, but... | ||
| This gravity intensifier, this gravity multiplier, whatever the fuck it is, gravity projection thing, with that 115, it distorts gravity. | ||
| And that's how these things are able to move through these insane speeds. | ||
| And the way he described it is... | ||
| That it's like, if you had a real cushy mattress, a real soft mattress, and you put a massive bowling ball in the center of the mattress, everything would just go zoom and bend around the bowling ball. | ||
| Well, that's what Element 115, with that craft and that propulsion system, does to space-time. | ||
| It bends gravity. | ||
| If it bends space time, it goes through things. | ||
| I don't know the answer to this. | ||
| I've heard of that. | ||
| Doesn't everything else get fucked up? | ||
| If you're bending space time, doesn't everything else just kind of come closer together? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe it doesn't. | ||
| Maybe it does. | ||
| Maybe it doesn't. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe it just does it with whatever's around it. | ||
| And maybe we don't understand how space—we know that gravity bends things, right? | ||
| It bends light. | ||
| That's why, you know, when you're looking at the sun, you can actually see things. | ||
| They can see things that are actually behind the sun. | ||
| Because of the massive gravity of the sun, because it's so enormous. | ||
| It actually manipulates light. | ||
| It bends it, so you can see things that are actually behind it. | ||
| I want to know... | ||
| Have you had Neil deGrasse Tyson on? | ||
| A bunch of times. | ||
| Yeah, he's fascinating and a skeptic. | ||
| And he's an interesting skeptic because he can base it in what he knows or believes scientifically. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But a guy, Troy, on our show went at it with him. | ||
| Who went at it? | ||
| Troy. | ||
| Who's Troy? | ||
| He's a DJ and he's a guy who works our computers. | ||
| Wait, wait, wait. | ||
| Troy went at it with Neil deGrasse Tyson? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| About what? | ||
| Because he thinks he's a full of shit government agent and hiding UFOs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no. | |
| That was great, though. | ||
| It was a fun video. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| But Troy thinks that Neil is an agent. | ||
|
unidentified
|
An agent? | |
| Not an agent, but I mean like an agent as in representing the point of view of the government. | ||
| Is he one of those flat earth guys? | ||
| No, not at all. | ||
| What does he think? | ||
| He thinks that there's UFOs. | ||
| There's a lot of things we're not being told. | ||
| But it was a great video. | ||
| But if they're not being told, do you think that they tell astronomers and astrophysicists? | ||
| Do you think they tell guys like Neil deGrasse Tyson? | ||
| Like, why would they pull him aside? | ||
| Hey, guy who works at the Hayden Planetarium, we're going to give you secrets, and we definitely want to make sure you don't tell them to people on the Opie and Anthony show. | ||
| Yeah, Troy thinks that he knows. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| No, it's legit. | ||
| Yeah, he really does. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| All right, Troy. | ||
| But we're always going back and forth. | ||
| Was it entertaining for Neil, or did he get weird... | ||
| He was okay with it. | ||
| We had Neil on UFC Unfiltered and him and Matt wrestled. | ||
| It was really funny because Neil is such a big dude and people forget that he was a heavyweight wrestler. | ||
| Where did they wrestle? | ||
| On the floor. | ||
| No, they were talking about some kind of a choke or something or a submission. | ||
| There's a video of it? | ||
| Yeah, and I filmed it. | ||
| And I think he was trying to show... | ||
| Matt something. | ||
| Yeah, he was a legit wrestler. | ||
| He was. | ||
| He was stacked when he was young. | ||
| You ever see him? | ||
| No. | ||
| Dude, pull a picture of Neil deGrasse Tyson when he was in college. | ||
| Dude, he was fucking jacked. | ||
| Like a UFC fighter. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was built. | ||
| Like, really well built. | ||
| Matt did put him in something that he was unable to, I think. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Matt's a world champion. | ||
| Neil wasn't sure if he could do it. | ||
| What? | ||
| I don't know if Neil was as familiar with Matt. | ||
| Oh, good lord. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| Look how jacked he is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| Jesus. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| He's fucking jacked. | ||
| Look at those shoulders. | ||
| He's a sweetheart of a guy. | ||
| I really like him. | ||
| I love Neil. | ||
| Yeah, he's a really... | ||
| Look at that picture up there, up in the left-hand corner, right above that one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fascinating. | |
| Yeah, look at that. | ||
| Look at that stud. | ||
| It looks like the Mod Squad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It does. | |
| Isn't that amazing? | ||
| Him as a college student. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I would never know that's him. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Look at the fucking sideburns. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sweet. | ||
| Very 70s. | ||
| Sweet. | ||
| Don't you wish you could grow afro? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| I wish I could grow any real facial hair. | ||
| It just doesn't look right. | ||
| It looks wispy and shitty. | ||
| It's getting gray now anyway, so I keep it short. | ||
| But eventually it's all going to come off. | ||
| Yeah, I keep mine short, my beard hair. | ||
| But when I grow it out, it's depressing. | ||
| It's all white. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| I have like little... | ||
| I mean, you could see this. | ||
| I have some now. | ||
| But like all around my size, it's all white now. | ||
| It's a sign of death. | ||
| Do you care about it, though? | ||
| It bugs me, man. | ||
| I live with it, and again, it beats dying, but I'm fucking a little like, God damn, man, you're 51, and you're not going backwards. | ||
| It's not going backwards. | ||
| I don't enjoy it. | ||
| This is great. | ||
| I'm getting old. | ||
| I don't, but perspective, I'm an extremely fortunate person. | ||
| Extremely. | ||
| Insanely, preposterously bad. | ||
| Blessed and fortunate. | ||
| I can't complain about shit. | ||
| I'm a lucky, lucky person. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, you get to, I mean, people say, oh, you get to do what you love, but I think about the shit I complain about, and it's luxury problems. | ||
| They're problems because I'm doing the job I want to do. | ||
| Yeah, first world problems. | ||
| I have three awesome jobs, you know? | ||
| I mean, my side job is the UFC. I'm the color commentator for the UFC. That's my side gig. | ||
| I just do that for fun. | ||
| I can't wait for Ngannou Rosenstreich. | ||
| I can't wait. | ||
| My goodness! | ||
| Can't wait for that fight. | ||
| When is that scheduled for? | ||
| I want to say it's April. | ||
| Tickets just went on sale. | ||
|
unidentified
|
March 28th. | |
| March 28th? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Oh my goodness, that's a terrifying fight. | ||
| Rosenstreich, what he did to Alistair Overeem's face with that fucking leaping right hook. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When he split his fucking mouth open, that guy is a fucking tank. | ||
| And what was more impressive than anything to me in that fight was not that he knocked him out with the last 10 seconds to go, but that he absorbed all the shots that Alistair hit him with. | ||
| And he kept pressing forward, almost like he was invulnerable to him. | ||
| I never saw anybody do that to Alistair. | ||
| He was losing that fight, though. | ||
| I think Alistair was winning that fight, yeah. | ||
| Oh, yes. | ||
| Alistair was winning that fight, for sure. | ||
| Rosenstreich is a fucking tank, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's a tank, and he's a legit 265, right? | ||
| A natural 265, as is Ngannou. | ||
| So I think this is the first time Ngannou has ever fought a guy who is a real world-class kickboxer, who is also his size naturally, and is also a vicious knockout puncher. | ||
| I still think Ngannou hits harder. | ||
| I still think Ngannou's faster. | ||
| But... | ||
| If I was in Rosenstreich's corner, what I would be concentrating on is leg kicks in particular because Junior Dos Santos, even though Ngannou starched him in the first round, Ngannou starches almost everybody, but Junior was able to get off a lot of leg kicks early in the round and was able to at least affect him in some way. | ||
| I was like, oh, okay, this could be an issue of a real good kickboxer. | ||
| Now, we didn't see Rosenstreich use that sort of strategy against Alistair. | ||
| He was really looking to put hands on Alistair. | ||
| He threw some kicks, but really, I think if he adjusts with Ngannou and tries to move away from the big shots and chop the legs, he's a better kickboxer. | ||
| He's got real experience with Muay Thai. | ||
| He's also a ruthless knockout striker, and he has a crazy chin. | ||
| Rosenstreich has a crazy chin, man. | ||
| Didn't you feel bad, though, for Overeem at the end of that? | ||
| It was almost like he kind of just jumped up and walked off like it was a walk-off home run, and the ref was like, alright. | ||
| No, dude, his face was hanging off. | ||
| So you think they should have stopped it? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Dude, his cut went all the way up to his nose. | ||
| If Rosenstreich punched him more, it would have probably fallen off. | ||
| And then they would have had to stitch up, take a patch off the canvas and wash it off and glue it back to his face. | ||
| Dude, he was done. | ||
| Just find that KO. Find Rosenstreich, KO's Alistair over him. | ||
| The UFC does a thing that I really wish they wouldn't do. | ||
| And I don't understand the thought process behind it. | ||
| And this thing is, they don't show finishes online. | ||
| You can't see the finishes. | ||
| Like, you'll see a guy pulling off of the guy. | ||
| Like, when they stop the fight, he walks away like this. | ||
| But they don't show the actual finish. | ||
| What do you think that is? | ||
| Poor thinking? | ||
| I just... | ||
| I don't... | ||
| Show it! | ||
| It's exciting! | ||
| People want to see it. | ||
| It'll make more people watch it. | ||
| Is that to get you to fight past your thing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
There it is. | |
| Watch this. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, look, dude. | ||
| You can see it flop up. | ||
| But watch him go down. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| See that? | ||
| Stop the fight. | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| At the end of it? | ||
| Okay, I wanted it to play out more because you could see how he's basically helpless. | ||
| I wonder if they do that to get people to go to Fight Pass. | ||
| Like maybe if we show you part of it, it's like an automatic promotion for Fight Pass. | ||
| I get this to thank you. | ||
| I can't tell. | ||
| I can't imagine that's true. | ||
| I think Fight Pass is awesome. | ||
| They should, you know, just go to it if you're a fan. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, Fight Pass is great. | ||
| And it's not just for Fight Pass. | ||
| It's got, you know, Quintet, Eddie Bravo's, Combat Jiu Jitsu's on that, a bunch of different Muay Thai organizations on that, all the UFC's. | ||
| Fight Pass is the shit. | ||
| Okay, here it is. | ||
| Look. | ||
| There he's a little bit, he's wobbly there. | ||
| But by then, wouldn't that have been... | ||
| Boom! | ||
| How much time was left when that happened? | ||
| Boom! | ||
| See, he walked away. | ||
| He walked away. | ||
| If he had jumped on him and they stopped it, I would get it. | ||
| But you could see Dan touched him. | ||
| Dan touched him. | ||
| Watch Dan touch Rosenstreichs. | ||
| He touches him there. | ||
| Yeah, he walked away and then he waved it off after Alistair walked. | ||
| Yeah, you're right. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| It's a real good point. | ||
| Maybe the cut was so nasty. | ||
| It was so nasty. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Mere seconds from the final bell. | ||
| That's why it made me feel bad for Olverick. | ||
| Because if he went down to hit him and he stopped it, I'd be like, he had to stop it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But him walking away might have fucked him out of the wind. | ||
| Show that one more time. | ||
| One more time. | ||
| Let me see that one more time. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| He's moving away. | ||
| Hands down. | ||
| Gets caught. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Gets dropped. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, you're right. | ||
| Got right back up. | ||
| No. | ||
| Actually, it's a good point. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Nah, I changed my mind. | ||
| I changed my mind. | ||
| When I saw it, I was just so stunned that he caught him in the last couple of seconds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| But it really does prove that you have to watch the fight until the end. | ||
| It was an exciting way for a fight. | ||
| I mean, it was like Rodriguez, Korean zombie. | ||
| When a fight ends like that, how do you ever watch a fight? | ||
| You can't not watch until the end. | ||
| That elbow was insane. | ||
| That elbow was insane. | ||
| The way he threw that, like a look-away elbow, and the Korean zombie just flatlines. | ||
| You're like, holy shit. | ||
| Wasn't Rodriguez losing that fight, too, if I remember? | ||
| Yeah, he was. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And then the Korean zombie just knocked out Frankie Edgar. | ||
| He's an animal. | ||
| Yeah, he is. | ||
| The Korean zombie's a tough motherfucker. | ||
| He had to take two years off to serve the South Korean army. | ||
| Yeah, military, yeah. | ||
| Military makes you... | ||
| It's mandatory. | ||
| It's like Israel. | ||
| You have to do mandatory military time. | ||
| And your thing with that... | ||
| Have you talked to Stephen A. Smith? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No. | ||
| I like the way you handled that. | ||
| You're a really honest dude. | ||
| And you didn't get caught up in the fact that he liked you and he's a big name in sports. | ||
| I love how you spoke about it. | ||
| Listen, I'm very good friends with Cowboy. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| Love him. | ||
| He's awesome. | ||
| He's not a quitter. | ||
| He doesn't quit. | ||
| He got smashed. | ||
| He didn't quit. | ||
| That's my only observation. | ||
| And Stephen A. Smith, his thing is talking shit. | ||
| He's a master at being this entertaining guy who talks shit about sports. | ||
| And I don't think he's a bad guy. | ||
| I just think that's how he butters his bread. | ||
| That's his thing. | ||
| That's how he talks shit. | ||
| But fighters, I feel like it's a different thing. | ||
| It's not just a sport. | ||
| It's a sport where you're literally risking your life. | ||
| Knock on wood, we've been very lucky in the UFC. We haven't had any loss of life, but it's 100% possible, and it definitely has happened in other organizations, and it happens in boxing every year. | ||
| And if it happened in the UFC, it would be horrendous. | ||
| And if it happened at Cowboy, if Cowboy died in the hospital that night, and believe me, that's possible. | ||
| Cowboy had a broken orbital bone, and he had a broken nose, and he got beaten down by one of the biggest punchers in that division. | ||
| In 155 pounds, really, but the way Conor cracked him, like, Conor, like, I don't care who you are. | ||
| He hits you like that. | ||
| You're in real big trouble. | ||
| He fractured Cowboy's face. | ||
| If Cowboy died in the hospital after Stephen A. Smith or someone else was chastising him and mocking him and saying he quit... | ||
| He folded, yeah. | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| Well, he didn't do well. | ||
| He's got a point there. | ||
| Cowboy did not perform well. | ||
| And the reason why he didn't perform well is because Conor performed spectacularly. | ||
| That's what fighting is all about. | ||
| Jose Aldo, who was one of the greatest fighters that's ever done it, and at the time was the greatest featherweight of all time, Conor flatlined him in 14 seconds with one punch. | ||
| That doesn't mean that Jose Aldo didn't show up or Jose Aldo quit. | ||
| It means Conor has a fucking brick for a fist and he throws it perfect. | ||
| He's got massive power. | ||
| Massive power and explosive speed. | ||
| And he's a killer man. | ||
| Conor McGregor. | ||
| This motherfucker right here. | ||
| He's a goddamn killer. | ||
| I like him more than I used to, too. | ||
| I was never a Conor fan. | ||
| I liked him more after I saw him lose and how he handled a loss. | ||
| And I just liked him. | ||
| I watched him talk, and I'm like, yeah, I kind of like him. | ||
| And it seems like this fight with Cowboy, he went into it differently than he has publicly in the past. | ||
| And maybe that's just because he likes him, and in the next fight with Habib, he'll be the same as he was. | ||
| But I like him more now than I ever liked him. | ||
| He definitely handled himself in the public better. | ||
| But I also think... | ||
| Honestly, he probably didn't feel like he had to play games with Cowboy. | ||
| He felt like Cowboy's style was tailor-made for him. | ||
| He felt like Cowboy was stiff and he was going to be able to take him out and catch him and hurt him. | ||
| And he did. | ||
| He was right. | ||
| He probably didn't feel like he needed to play psychological games. | ||
| When you're fighting a guy like Khabib, Khabib is such a destroyer. | ||
| He's such a fucking destroyer. | ||
| I mean, I have seen him take guys with extensive wrestling backgrounds, guys like Abel Trujillo, just ragdoll him. | ||
| Just throw him around, man. | ||
| Michael Johnson, throw him around. | ||
| It's like you have no business in there with him. | ||
| Just beats the fuck out of people. | ||
| Mauls him. | ||
| Rafael dos Anjos, world champion. | ||
| Grabs him, throws him to the ground. | ||
| Helpless. | ||
| You can't do shit. | ||
| It's claustrophobic looking. | ||
| Watching it, like, I think, if I remember the Michael Johnson fight, the wrist control where he's just... | ||
| His arm tied behind his back, and he's punched him in the face. | ||
| He said, quit, quit, quit. | ||
| You know I deserve title shot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Quit. | |
| You know my favorite one was talking about Conor McGregor, and he's like, send me a location. | ||
| Send me a location. | ||
| Where are you? | ||
| Send me a location. | ||
| He's like, dude, I'm coming for you. | ||
| He's a monster. | ||
| There's only two guys in the sport that are world champions, destroyers at that level who are undefeated. | ||
| One of them's Jon Jones, the other one's Khabib. | ||
| No one else is like that, where they just smash everybody. | ||
| Jon Jones has one bullshit loss where the referee decided that the elbows were illegal, and the referee was doing his job But it's nonsense. | ||
| That fucking elbow rule is stupid. | ||
| He smashed that guy. | ||
| I wonder if that, in a way, too, that loss was years ago. | ||
| I wonder if that, because so many guys are undefeated, and all of a sudden they lose one, and then they lose a couple. | ||
| You wonder sometimes if an early loss like that takes the pressure of being undefeated. | ||
| Like, you know you've never been beaten, but you still have that 1L, so there's not that whole thing on your back, like, I can't lose, I can't lose, I can't get that 1L. Well, John almost lost his last fight. | ||
| I want to see that Santos rematch more than I want to see Jones fight anybody. | ||
| Matt thinks I'm fucking crazy. | ||
| That's the fight I want to see. | ||
| I think if there was a Santos rematch, Jon Jones takes him down and beats the fuck out of him, if I had to guess. | ||
| I think Jon Jones decided to try to stand up with him. | ||
| And Brendan Schaub had an interesting take on it. | ||
| He said Jon's playing with his food. | ||
| He said he's bored. | ||
| He's just siding to kickbox with these guys. | ||
| But at the end of the day, after five rounds, there was a split decision. | ||
| One judge scored it in favor of Tiago Santos. | ||
| I don't necessarily agree. | ||
| I'm not saying I agree. | ||
| I watched the fight again last week, and it's a great fight. | ||
| I didn't score it, though. | ||
| You know, I just enjoyed it. | ||
| I think if you really want to score... | ||
| That's why I don't score fights when I'm watching them. | ||
| But sometimes you just know you don't have to score them. | ||
| Like if there's a bunch of knockdowns or someone beats the shit out of somebody. | ||
| It's clear, you know? | ||
| But... | ||
| That fight was not clear. | ||
| There was moments where Tiago Santos rocked John and hurt him. | ||
| When did he hurt him? | ||
| I know the leg kicks in the first round were really effective. | ||
| When did he hurt himself? | ||
| Was it at the end of the first round or in the second round? | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| I'd have to go back and watch it again. | ||
| I think it was the second round. | ||
| I think we isolated it on the camera. | ||
| I was saying something's going on. | ||
| I'm noticing the way he's moving. | ||
| I've had two ACL blowouts, so I'm particularly sensitive when I see somebody moving funny on their knees. | ||
| And when I was seeing him do that, I'm like, something's going on. | ||
| And then the truck isolated a moment where you see his knee do this, where the knee, the bottom part of the knee pops forward. | ||
| That's almost always an ACL because there's an instability to it where it just gives out. | ||
| And that was like the second round. | ||
| It turned out, he blew out both fucking knees. | ||
| But at the end of the fight, both his knees were shot and he's still throwing bombs! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Haymakers! | ||
| And just looked like nothing was bothering him. | ||
| I mean, he's in there with the best guy in the light heavyweight division, unquestionably, ever. | ||
| And he got to a split decision on two blown out knees. | ||
| That's why I want to see a rematch with him. | ||
| I think he earned it. | ||
| I think that was, considering how he hurt himself, that's the fight I want to see is the rematch between Santos and Jones. | ||
| Although Jones might be heavyweight by the time he comes back. | ||
| Yeah, he's going to be a long time. | ||
| His knees, both knees are reconstructed. | ||
| I mean, he was walking with crazy crutches with both knees in braces and shit. | ||
| He's fucked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And who knows if he's going to come back well. | ||
| You know, when you blow your knees out like that, man, that's no guarantee. | ||
| Because you're tearing the meniscus, so all the soft tissue that separates the two knees, the two bones, rather. | ||
| All that's been chewed up, so they had to do a meniscectomy or whatever the fuck they call it. | ||
| Menoscopy. | ||
| What do they call that? | ||
| It's a scope. | ||
| And how old is he? | ||
| But what is the actual operation called? | ||
| Is he 35? | ||
| Tiago? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| I don't think he's that old. | ||
| He was a middleweight for a while, which is crazy. | ||
| David Branch stopped him at middleweight. | ||
| Guys beat him at middleweight. | ||
| I think he was just draining himself. | ||
| Cutting too much weight. | ||
| But he's a fucking dangerous puncher, man. | ||
| That's for sure. | ||
| And a real good striker. | ||
| And he fought disciplined in that fight, which is interesting. | ||
| He fought sneaky and disciplined. | ||
| Has anybody done that to Jones' legs before? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I can't remember seeing anybody leg kick him that effectively. | ||
| Well, his leg kicks are devastating, too. | ||
| I know. | ||
| And John has those little tiny calves, too. | ||
| His body's crazy. | ||
| It's almost like a cartoon. | ||
| Because he's got these big-ass feet and this big, wide back. | ||
| But these calves are like my forearm. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Is that because he doesn't work them? | ||
| Genetics. | ||
| Or is it somebody who just won't build large ones? | ||
| No, it's just genetics. | ||
| But listen, it's a fucking perfect combat sports body. | ||
| Because he's so long. | ||
| And he's so strong. | ||
| It's not like he's skinny and weak. | ||
| He's thin and ridiculously strong. | ||
| Like when he tucked Daniel Cormier down, everybody was like, Holy fuck. | ||
| He just took down one of the best wrestlers to ever compete in MMA, and he did it in the first round, when both of them are fresh. | ||
| You're like, wow, John is strong. | ||
| You can see it when he gets a hold of guys. | ||
| He's the GOAT. He's the greatest light heavyweight of all time, and maybe the greatest fighter of all time. | ||
| The only guys that are close, in my mind, it's Mighty Mouse is one of them, Fedor is another one, but I think John has had better competition. | ||
| I think John's had the best competition. | ||
| Yeah, he has fought everybody. | ||
| And Cormier, I know, wants to fight Stipe, but a third fight with those... | ||
| I would love to see Cormier and Ghanu. | ||
| That's a fight that I would love to see. | ||
| It's never going to happen, but I would love to see that. | ||
| DC will never do it. | ||
| I don't want to see that. | ||
| I love DC. I don't want to see him fight that guy. | ||
| I always thought DC would, you know, because DC is so good at getting in. | ||
| I always had a feeling he'd be able to take him down. | ||
| Save it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Save all that shit. | |
| Save all that shit. | ||
| To me, that is the scariest man in MMA, is Francis. | ||
| He is, yeah. | ||
| The scariest. | ||
| When he punched Alistair over him, and Alistair over him was literally looking at the back of his heels, his head snapped back so far he could see his feet. | ||
| It was terrifying. | ||
| It was also what he just did to Junior and to Curtis Blades and to Kane after two losses. | ||
| Kane, yeah. | ||
| It was like, fuck. | ||
| He fixed whatever it was that he needed to fix. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you know, those guys just couldn't stand with him. | ||
| The question is, like, what Stipe is that those guys aren't is, first of all, Stipe's an excellent wrestler. | ||
| He also is a world champion and the most accomplished world champion ever. | ||
| He's the first guy to ever defend the title. | ||
| I think he defended it three times or four times? | ||
| I think four in the fifth one is what he lost. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Four. | |
| Four times. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Stipe's the most accomplished heavyweight champion of all time, and now he's won the title for a second time. | ||
| And the way he beat DC in the third fight, or the second fight, rather, with those left hooks to the body, it's like, God damn. | ||
| Those were nasty. | ||
| Third or fourth round, right? | ||
| Fourth round. | ||
| And again, he was, I think, losing that fight. | ||
| Just couldn't make it happen. | ||
| And DC was honest, though. | ||
| He said that, I like the idea of punching him in the face. | ||
| Like, he didn't want to just listen to his corner. | ||
| He felt too good to punch, and he just wanted to knock him out. | ||
| Well, he knocked him out in the first fight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But I've... | ||
| Speculated that one of the reasons why he knocked him out in the first round, in the first fight, was two things. | ||
| One, it was a beautiful punch where he set it up while he was pummeling, and I don't think Stipe saw it coming. | ||
| I think it was a perfectly placed punch. | ||
| He hit him on the jaw perfectly. | ||
| And also, I think Stipe was probably still a little hurt from that Francis Ngannou fight. | ||
| Because Francis Ngannou and him went to war for five rounds, and particularly in the first two rounds, Francis hit Stipe with some fucking bombs. | ||
| Stipe weathered the storm, but it might have made him more susceptible to being knocked out. | ||
| Because of a couple of those shots he took. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| When you get a fight where you get beat up like that, even if you win... | ||
| hard, hard shots. | ||
| That takes something out of your sales, man. | ||
| And especially, you know, to fight him just a few months later, right after that big, crazy fight with Ngannou. | ||
| Like, really? | ||
| A guy like that, like Stipe, especially, he's like 36, I think, at his age, you know, you have a war like that with Ngannou, you should have one of those a year, maybe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then for like six months, you shouldn't do jack shit. | ||
| You should go in cryo chambers and fucking hyperbaric chambers and get massages and let your body heal up. | ||
| You were in a car accident. | ||
| You got run over by a truck and you survived. | ||
| What do you think of... | ||
| I'm looking forward to Adesanya. | ||
| I kind of wanted to see Paulo Costa get the fight, but the fact that he's doing it with Romero is still a great fight. | ||
| I'm happy it's Yoel Romero for two reasons. | ||
| One, because Paulo Costa, they can do in the future. | ||
| Paulo Costa is only like 29 years old. | ||
| He's a young guy, just like Adesanya. | ||
| And two, stylistically, I want to see... | ||
| I still want to see Paulo Costa. | ||
| I mean, Paulo Costa is a monster, man. | ||
| He's a monster. | ||
| I'm really... | ||
| I mean, especially after he beat Yoel like that. | ||
| Really interested in seeing him fight Israel. | ||
| But... | ||
| Stylistically, I'm interested in Yoel Romero versus Israel because of the wrestling. | ||
| Because Yoel's wrestling is crazy. | ||
| He's one of the most powerful guys that's ever fought in that division. | ||
| He's enormous for that division. | ||
| And he's so fucking explosive. | ||
| And he can take a crazy shot. | ||
| I mean, if you look at the two of them together... | ||
| I mean, Izzy is taller and longer, and Yoel is just fucking jacked. | ||
| He's not even built like a real human. | ||
| His waist is this tiny thing. | ||
| His muscles are fucking preposterous. | ||
| When you see him, you're like, oh, that's a comic book guy. | ||
| That's not a real person. | ||
| He's a comic book person. | ||
| He's 40 years old? | ||
| 41 years old? | ||
| I think he's 41. Still jacked. | ||
| Super, super jacked. | ||
| And I think, honestly, he should have already been the champion. | ||
| I think he beat Robert Whittaker in the second fight. | ||
| My feeling is that he hurt him more, he was more effective, and there was two rounds that easily could have been 10-8 rounds where he had Robert Whittaker fucking staggered. | ||
| And if that was the case, he would have won the title. | ||
| Was it a split decision? | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| Google Yoel Romero versus Robert Whittaker. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, split decisions are so crazy, right? | ||
| It's like, what if Tiago Santos is the UFC light heavyweight champion now? | ||
| Because one judge says he should be. | ||
| Two judges say he isn't. | ||
| Split decisions are real weird. | ||
| I think there's not enough judges. | ||
| There should be at least five judges. | ||
| It probably should be ten. | ||
| And I think we should also have an online judging. | ||
| I think they should have that. | ||
| And maybe they don't take it into consideration. | ||
| But for us, what does it say here? | ||
| Unanimous. | ||
| Unanimous decision. | ||
| By one point on each judge's scorecard. | ||
| And I disagreed with that. | ||
| But, you know, that's okay. | ||
| Very interesting. | ||
| Yeah, I'm looking forward to that. | ||
| I don't remember when the fight is, but I'm looking forward to it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When is that? | ||
| When is EOL? Is that March in Vegas? | ||
| I think it's... | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| March 7th. | ||
| And Ferguson Khabib is in Brooklyn, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| You going to that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It depends if I'm working that weekend. | ||
| Take that weekend off, Jimmy! | ||
| I got a bunch of dates that are now up, so I may be working. | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| I'm super pumped for Dominic Reyes and Jon Jones. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That is a dangerous fight for Jon Jones. | ||
| Dominic Reyes, he is not getting enough credit. | ||
| He's 12-0. | ||
| He has a fucking ruthless left hand. | ||
| He's super athletic, and he's really tall. | ||
| He's really tall and long. | ||
| And he's a young guy, he's 30 years old, you know, and John, you know, John has to take that guy really fucking seriously. | ||
| I did think, if I remember correctly, I remember thinking Uzdemir won the fight. | ||
| I thought Uzdemir got, I thought he should have gotten the decision. | ||
| Over Dominic? | ||
| Reyes, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Really close. | ||
| Yeah, it's interesting. | ||
| Look at that stats again, the tail of the tape, Jamie. | ||
| Look at the difference in the reach. | ||
| John Jones has an 84.5-inch reach, and then you look at Dominic Reyes, it's 77. That's interesting. | ||
| That's the width of the shoulders. | ||
| John is so long. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, you're measuring tip to tip like this. | ||
| And one thing that John excels at is keeping people at distance. | ||
| But he's fighting a guy that's his height. | ||
| That guy's just as long as him. | ||
| I mean, not as wide. | ||
| Obviously, the reach is different in terms of the width of the shoulders. | ||
| But Dominic Cruz's footwork and movement is excellent. | ||
| His kicks are excellent. | ||
| He's got nasty power in his hands. | ||
| And he's got a lot of confidence, man. | ||
| He's undefeated coming in at 12-0. | ||
| That guy is a killer. | ||
| What he did to Chris Weidman, I was like, holy shit. | ||
| Yeah, it was a rough one to watch. | ||
| It's hard to watch. | ||
| Am I crazy to think that Gustafson had that kind of reach too? | ||
| Yes, he did. | ||
| He did, right? | ||
| He was closer to Jones than most guys. | ||
| Gustafson, although he has fantastic combinations and excellent boxing, does not have one-punch power the way Dominic Reyes has. | ||
| Dominic Reyes sets things up, and when he moves in, BOOM! He drops things on you. | ||
| And dudes fold. | ||
| Like, when he fought OSP. He knocked out OSP with no time in the fight. | ||
| It was basically like a couple of seconds to go in the fight. | ||
| He cracked OSP. And they didn't give him the knockout, which I don't understand. | ||
| I mean, it was way worse than Alistair and Rosenstreich. | ||
| I mean, he had OSP out. | ||
| He was gone. | ||
| And they didn't stop the fight. | ||
| And I'm like, I don't understand this. | ||
| This is like, it was confusing to me. | ||
| Because he walked away like it was over. | ||
| See if you can find that. | ||
| Dominic Reyes drops OSP. Who was winning the fight at that point? | ||
| Dominic Reyes was. | ||
| But OSP gave him some trouble. | ||
| He gave him some trouble. | ||
| I mean, Dominic was definitely winning the fight. | ||
| But OSP had his moments. | ||
| Definitely had his moments. | ||
| And I watched that fight about a month ago or so. | ||
| And when I was watching, I was trying to find... | ||
| Moments where I think John could capitalize that OSP couldn't. | ||
| But OSP is a very strong guy. | ||
| A lot of guys struggle with him, including John Jones. | ||
| John Jones struggled with OSP. It's a powerhouse, man. | ||
| You can't fuck up with OSP. He KOs guys. | ||
| He can KO people with one punch. | ||
| He KO'd Shogun with one punch. | ||
| He KO'd Corey Anderson, I think. | ||
| That was John's first fight back after a while. | ||
| He had taken that layoff and that was his first fight back after a suspension or he had been gone for a while and no one thought that OSP was going to go the distance. | ||
| Didn't they go five and he got the decision? | ||
| Yep, they did. | ||
| So here it is. | ||
| So here's Dominic Reyes. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| He's moving. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| He drops him. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| He's out. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| He's just lying there. | ||
| Out. | ||
| And Dominic Raiders moves off. | ||
| Like, that's it. | ||
| And they don't stop the fight. | ||
| And the referee stands over and lets him get back up to his feet. | ||
| And the bell rang. | ||
| And they didn't call it a knockout. | ||
| I'm like, okay. | ||
| That's a knockout, man. | ||
| You couldn't justify keeping that fight going. | ||
| But that's what I bet your Overeem wishes would have happened, was that they would have let him just walk away. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Listen, if Dan Mergliata and Dan did his job, because Dan's supposed to be the guy that calls the fight, right? | ||
| I think he should have called the fight, but Dan is supposed to be the guy that calls the fight, not the fighter. | ||
| So when Dominic, play that again, when Dominic K-Os him, all he had to do was follow up with a couple of strikes, and then the fucking show's over. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| But it's beautiful footwork. | ||
| I love how he did it, too. | ||
| So OSP's moving because he's behind. | ||
| So he's trying to move forward and press and trying to catch him. | ||
| And Dominic's moving and OSP presses him. | ||
| And he uses good footwork to avoid this, too. | ||
| He catches that left kick, which is OSP's power side. | ||
| And as OSP is setting it up, you see he goes southpaw again. | ||
| So he's looking for that left kick again. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Counters. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look. | |
| Step over. | ||
| Bang! | ||
| Left hand. | ||
| And then the referee's waiting for him to follow up. | ||
| So if he just jumped on him there and followed up instead of walking with his hands up, the buzzer may have gone off somewhere around then. | ||
| I don't know when the buzzer went off. | ||
| Yeah, it was like 20 seconds, 21 seconds when he hit him. | ||
| Yeah, but Dan Mergley, see if we can get some volume on that. | ||
| Oh no, it was a lot less than that. | ||
| A lot less. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's stuck in my opinion. | |
| He's coming. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Right at the guard! | ||
| So right at the horn. | ||
| So he dropped him at the horn. | ||
| I still think they should have stopped it. | ||
| But I don't know. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| He won the fight. | ||
| But look, he basically knocked him out with a second to go. | ||
| But he's got a different fight in front of him this weekend with Jon Jones. | ||
| Jon Jones has such a history of success against the best fighters on the planet. | ||
| Jon finds a way to win, man. | ||
| He does, man. | ||
| He finds a way. | ||
| And that was the good thing about that Gustafson fight, the first one. | ||
| It was such a... | ||
| If I remember right... | ||
| Jones really turned it on in rounds four and five. | ||
| I thought Gustafson was ahead, maybe two to one, and then rounds four and five, Jones won. | ||
| And again, I don't know if that's a correct recollection, but I remember being like, fuck, that's why he's a champion. | ||
| He won the final round, for sure. | ||
| And he wasn't even in shape. | ||
| He didn't train for that fight. | ||
| They said he just fucked off and was partying and having a good time. | ||
| He just thought he was unbeatable. | ||
| And he said something really interesting to me when he came in here. | ||
| He said he always gave himself an excuse. | ||
| So that, like, if he did lose, he could always say, well, you know what? | ||
| At least I didn't train. | ||
| Like, if I trained, then I would have beat that guy. | ||
| But he was still beating people, even though he wasn't training hard. | ||
| And then he started ramping it up and actually training hard. | ||
| And when he almost lost everything, you know, when he got arrested and all that shit that happened to him, and he almost lost his career, then when it came back, he had much more of a sense of urgency because he realized, like, what a gift it really was. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm happy he's back, too. | ||
| And I honestly, after that, again, I was out there with Matt. | ||
| And after they told us, like, no, man, the fight's not happening, I thought, like, I'm never going to watch him fight again. | ||
| He'll never fight again. | ||
| I thought so, too. | ||
| When he crashed in that lady's car and took off, I was like, oh, my God, he might go to jail. | ||
| And, you know, I just felt bad that he was doing that in the first place. | ||
| Just all of it. | ||
| Everything was wrong. | ||
| There's too much partying. | ||
| But sometimes someone needs some sort of a giant scare, a horrible series of events where you realize, like, oh, I can't do this anymore. | ||
| I've got to live my life in a better way. | ||
| Yeah, you have to almost have everything taken away from you. | ||
| But I believe that Dominic Reyes is the most dangerous fighter Jon Jones has faced since Daniel Cormier. | ||
| I think Dominic Reyes presents a very unique series of challenges. | ||
| First of all, the length. | ||
| The undefeated record. | ||
| He's 12-0. | ||
| There's confidence that comes with undefeated fighters. | ||
| And Dominic is extremely confident. | ||
| He's... | ||
| He's a believer in himself, and that belief in himself has led him to stop guys like Chris Weidman, to knock out OSP with one second to go. | ||
| He's got belief in his power. | ||
| He's got legit one-punch knockout power. | ||
| He's got great footwork and movement. | ||
| He just had the opportunity to see John struggle with Tiago Santos. | ||
| He has a style. | ||
| He can mimic that kind of success. | ||
| The chopping at the legs. | ||
| I think this is a dangerous fight for John. | ||
| But I also think John knows it's a dangerous fight for John. | ||
| And John is a champion. | ||
| A real champion. | ||
| The greatest champion in the light heavyweight division has ever known unquestionably. | ||
| And I think he's going to rise to the occasion. | ||
| I think we're going to see the best John Jones. | ||
| I think John Jones needs a real threat to scare him and work him up. | ||
| And I don't know if Tiago Santos was that for him. | ||
| Maybe not. | ||
| If Tiago Santos was a title defense... | ||
| Chance for him to fight. | ||
| But I don't think that's what he gets scared of. | ||
| I think Jon needs someone like a Dominic Reyes, a real threat, so that you see who he was in the second fight with Daniel Cormier when he head-kicked DC and knocked him out. | ||
| The second fight with Gustafson when he smashed him. | ||
| That's the real Jon Jones. | ||
| Jon Jones when he's pressed. | ||
| And I think that Dominic Reyes presents that kind of a problem. | ||
| And I think you're going to see a fucking killer Jon Jones next weekend. | ||
| I think he's going to be on fire. | ||
| I can't wait. | ||
| That's a week from this Saturday? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| Yeah, I can't wait. | ||
| I'm so pumped. | ||
| The moment I stop feeling like this, I'll stop calling fights. | ||
| But right now, man, I fucking love it. | ||
| Dude, there's always fights I want to see. | ||
| Always fights I want to see. | ||
| There's always something I'm looking forward to. | ||
| There's never not two or three fights on the horizon that I want to see. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Dana White says, Kamaru Usman versus Jorge Masvidal planned for International Fight Week. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Dun, dun, dun! | ||
| Yeah, they just had a little shit at the Super Bowl. | ||
| I was wrong, too. | ||
| I'm a fucking idiot. | ||
| I thought it was going to be Conor against Masvidal. | ||
| That's who I thought the next fight was going to be. | ||
| That's a great fight. | ||
| That's a great fight. | ||
| I think Conor really wants Khabib. | ||
| And Dana keeps saying they're going to try to make a rematch. | ||
| But I don't know why they're saying that when Khabib has to fight Tony motherfucking Ferguson. | ||
| Tony's the boogeyman. | ||
| That nickname, El Kukui, that's a perfect nickname for that guy. | ||
| That guy's terrifying. | ||
| He never gets tired. | ||
| He never gets tired. | ||
| Everybody who fights him looks like they fell off a train. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| That's the fight everybody has wanted to see. | ||
| And again, is that March or April? | ||
| April. | ||
| Okay, yeah, that's still a ways away. | ||
| And then who knows how that fight goes, how long Khabib takes to get better. | ||
| Khabib doesn't want to have anything to do with Conor. | ||
| He's like, fuck that dude. | ||
| And Khabib's dad said, give him $100 million, he'll fight him. | ||
| So I don't think he can make $100 million. | ||
| The only way he can make $100 million is if he gets the kind of numbers that Floyd Mayweather vs. | ||
| Conor got. | ||
| Or if the UFC decides to bankroll it and gamble and give him $100 million. | ||
| I mean, they might do that. | ||
| Because here's one thing we have to take into consideration about Khabib. | ||
| He's not just an enormous star in the United States. | ||
| He's a huge superstar in the Muslim world. | ||
| Huge! | ||
| Huge! | ||
| He's a super religious guy. | ||
| I mean, he celebrates Ramadan. | ||
| He's very respectful. | ||
| This is one of the reasons why Conor's trash-talking, all that, was so infuriating to him. | ||
| He's a different guy, man. | ||
| He's a man of virtue. | ||
| He still drives a fucking Toyota. | ||
| He's worth millions and millions of dollars. | ||
| He's not a flashy dude. | ||
| He's a fucking warrior. | ||
| And he doesn't want to have that kind of situation again. | ||
| In his eyes... | ||
| They fought once. | ||
| He smashed Connor and he got him to tap. | ||
| He choked him. | ||
| And he's like, good. | ||
| I did it. | ||
| Fight's over. | ||
| I did what I want to do. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| And then when they're saying, oh, we need to make a rematch. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| No, we had the fight. | ||
| I fucked him up. | ||
| He can suck my dick. | ||
| I'm going to go do other things. | ||
| That's what he's thinking. | ||
| I think not the suck the dick part. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| I think Khabib versus Tony is the toughest fight of Khabib's career. | ||
| I really believe that. | ||
| I think Tony Ferguson is a nightmare for anybody, especially right now. | ||
| When you watch his fight with Anthony Pettis, when you watch how he busted up Donald Cerrone, I think Tony Ferguson is the scariest guy for anybody at 155 pounds to fight. | ||
| He doesn't get tired. | ||
| He fucking has bricks for hands. | ||
| And I had Josh Thompson in here the other day. | ||
| Josh was saying when Tony Ferguson grabs him, he said, you can't believe how big his hands are. | ||
| He said he wraps his hands around his wrist. | ||
| He goes, yeah, I couldn't get my hands free. | ||
| He goes, his fucking hands are so big and strong. | ||
| That's part of what he does. | ||
| I've never been in his presence, so I don't know how long. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's a spooky dude. | ||
| There's something about him. | ||
| He ain't normal. | ||
| He's not a normal guy. | ||
| He's eccentric, but in the good way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Especially when it comes to being a fighter. | ||
| He does all his own training. | ||
| He teaches himself. | ||
| He's got all this crazy shit he does where he does wing chung dummies and break dances. | ||
| There's a lot of shit that nobody ever does. | ||
| Did you see the video he put out? | ||
| Kind of a Tony Ferguson tribute workout video in the gym. | ||
| It was very amusing. | ||
| Tony's a unique individual. | ||
| There's no other Tony Ferguson. | ||
| There's no one that I could even think of that reminds me of Tony Ferguson. | ||
| No one. | ||
| He's so different. | ||
| You know, that said, Khabib's the fucking man. | ||
| I mean, no one runs through people the way Khabib does. | ||
| He smashes people. | ||
| He drags them to the ground. | ||
| He out-wrestles them. | ||
| He pummels them. | ||
| He beats them down. | ||
| You know, he's an undeniable, unstoppable force. | ||
| The two of them together... | ||
| It's an epic fight, but I would not be making any plans if I was Dana or if I was anybody else. | ||
| I would not be making any plans because Khabib can win that fight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Tony can win that fight, too. | ||
| Either one of those guys. | ||
| I mean, Khabib can win that fight, but it's not guaranteed. | ||
| Tony can win that fight, too. | ||
| Ferguson can win that fight. | ||
| They both can win. | ||
| I just want the fight to happen. | ||
| Is this the fourth or fifth time they've been scheduled? | ||
| I just want the fight to happen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| I mean, everybody does. | ||
| You're telling me. | ||
| I'm just begging and pleading that these guys keep it together. | ||
| I can only hope and pray that they keep it together. | ||
| It's a fucking amazing fight, man. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| And Caitlyn is fighting. | ||
| When is she fighting Valentina? | ||
| Because I'm going to take her up on that offer, but I'm not going to do it until... | ||
| Yeah, she's the co-main for Joan Trance, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a dangerous fight. | ||
| That's a dangerous fight for her. | ||
| Valentina's scary. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, she is. | |
| She's a killer. | ||
| That woman's a killer. | ||
| She has nasty power. | ||
| When she knocked out Jessica Ai with that head kick, I'm like, holy fuck, man. | ||
| Yeah, she's frightening. | ||
| I mean, I want to see Caitlyn because I know her. | ||
| It's hard to root for people when you've interviewed all the fighters. | ||
| You like all of them. | ||
| By rooting for someone, you're kind of by proxy rooting against someone else. | ||
| It's hard to root against someone who you've liked and interviewed. | ||
| It's hard to be objective when you call the fight. | ||
| Me, as I'm calling the fights, it's very hard. | ||
| Especially if there's someone like Donald fighting who's actually a good friend. | ||
| When I watched him fight, you know, he was the really hard one. | ||
| Really hard with Schaub. | ||
| Because Schaub and I are tight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| dude when he would fight So hard for me because I knew he wouldn't shouldn't be fighting anymore and he was getting knocked out. | ||
| I was like god damn this is It was painful like I couldn't sleep after the fights. | ||
| I'd be I'd be just thinking about it going this he's got to stop He's gonna get hurt. | ||
| Yeah, he's getting hurt. | ||
| He was getting hurt He's getting knocked out and and he's getting knocked out at heavyweight You know with guys like Ben Rothwell putting those giant mitts on him and Travis Brown pummel him. | ||
| I'm like You know, it's just like, this is not good. | ||
| You know, and I'm so close with him. | ||
| You know, he's one of my favorite people. | ||
| So me watching him getting beat up, I was like, fuck! | ||
| It was so hard to call his fights. | ||
| It was so hard. | ||
| Yeah, because you're watching somebody you care about get hurt. | ||
| Yeah, and I have to be excited. | ||
| You know, when Travis is putting it on him, I mean, I have to treat it like I don't even like Brendan, like we're not even friends. | ||
| I have to treat it like it's just a fight. | ||
| You know, it's hard. | ||
| But it's also, you know, just hard personally. | ||
| Not hard in the moment, but hard on you after it's over. | ||
| It's like, you know, when you're watching someone fight that shouldn't be fighting anymore, whether it's someone you're close to, like I was close with Brendan, or whether it's, you know, there's fighters that, you know, fight towards the end of their career, like BJ Penn, some of his last fights. | ||
| I'm like, God damn it. | ||
| You know, he was a legend in his prime. | ||
| He's like one of the greatest of all time, guaranteeing like a real phenom, a freak. | ||
| And to see him just be a shell of himself. | ||
| Or in the street, fighting in the street. | ||
| Yeah, that was awful. | ||
| When Frankie Edgar beat the fuck out of him, I was like, someone's got to stop him. | ||
| He's got to stop. | ||
| When Frankie got on top of him and was just smashing him, I was like, someone's got to stop this. | ||
| He can't do this anymore. | ||
| It's hard, man. | ||
| You know, it's the greatest thing those guys ever experience in their life and something that you or I will never be able to appreciate. | ||
| We've never experienced that kind of glory. | ||
| It must be a high that's indescribable. | ||
| I'll never feel it, but it must be. | ||
| To be a world champion like a BJ Penn? | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| It's got to be hard to chase that for the next 30 years trying to find anything. | ||
| It's like someone who stops doing stand-up on a lesser level. | ||
| What do you do to make you feel good or to bring you that? | ||
| There's nothing. | ||
| Well, the beautiful thing about stand-up is we don't have to stop. | ||
| No. | ||
| George Carlin died in a hotel room. | ||
| Didn't he hit a heart attack? | ||
| Didn't he go to the hospital? | ||
| I'm fairly sure he went to the hospital. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| But he died when he was staying in a hotel room. | ||
| He was staying on the road. | ||
| He was working. | ||
| Yeah, he drove. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Ralphie died in a hotel room, right? | ||
| Or he didn't die at someone's house. | ||
| Panette might have died in a hotel. | ||
| I believe John Panette died in a hotel room. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think you're right. | |
| I saw he had lost so much weight, and I was like, how you doing, man? | ||
| Because he was trying to get off all the stuff he was on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Was he on Pills? | ||
| I heard he was, yeah. | ||
| I didn't know him. | ||
| He knew I was sober, so we talked briefly about it, but it wasn't a long conversation. | ||
| When I was first starting out, when I was an open-miker, Panette was one of the favorite guys at Nick's Comedy Stop in Boston. | ||
| He was established when I was just starting out. | ||
| I remember watching him just murder one night. | ||
| He had this bit about going to an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet, and they're screaming at him, you get out! | ||
| You eat too much! | ||
| You go now, yeah. | ||
| You go now! | ||
| Yeah, that was what it was. | ||
| Very famous bit. | ||
| He murdered, we did a fucking Montreal one time, it was like a gala, and all of us were bombing. | ||
| Anthony Clark ate his dick, I ate my dick, nobody was doing well. | ||
| And this was a gala in Montreal, and we're like, ah, this crowd sucks. | ||
| And then fucking Panette went on and blew a hole through the stage, and you're like, it was us. | ||
| He had so much power. | ||
| He was so good. | ||
| Yeah, he was so good. | ||
| He had so much power. | ||
| And I think the only thing that ever held him back was his health. | ||
| You know, I think if he was healthier, you know, he would have been able to... | ||
| Because he had energy on stage. | ||
| Like, he was fucking going when he was on stage. | ||
| And that's, you know, real Boston style. | ||
| That aggressive, attacking style. | ||
| And just murderously funny. | ||
| Yeah, it's gotta be hard too when you're fat and your whole thing is like, I'm a big fat guy and there's so much material built around it and it's who you are. | ||
| It's gotta be scary to lose the weight. | ||
| Oh yeah, it is hard. | ||
| Well, you know, Kevin James, when he was young, he had a different manager. | ||
| We have the same manager now, but he had a different manager and his manager literally told him, if you lose weight, you're losing roles. | ||
| Like roles in TV shows and movies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, right, right. | |
| And I was like, you don't fucking listen to that guy. | ||
| I'm like, what are you talking about? | ||
| You don't think you're going to be funny if you're thinner? | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| You're funny, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You're funny all the time. | ||
| But they'll mind fuck you. | ||
| They wanted him to be the jolly fat guy. | ||
| And there's money in the jolly fat guy. | ||
| Do you want this guy to stay alive, you fucking asshole? | ||
| But you wonder, too, if you change... | ||
| I always wonder if I change the things I hate about myself or that I don't like about myself. | ||
| Am I funny anymore? | ||
| Nothing to talk about if I'm... | ||
| Call me if you don't think so. | ||
| You're funny, man. | ||
| You're funny, period. | ||
| It's not rational. | ||
| It's like a crazy thought you have, like... | ||
| What do I do without this stuff? | ||
| Well, I'm very lucky I don't have that thought process, but you can get away with it, too. | ||
| You can get out of that thought process. | ||
| You don't need that. | ||
| That thing, if I do that, will I be any good? | ||
| You're good. | ||
| You're a great joke writer. | ||
| You're a funny comic. | ||
| You kill. | ||
| You make me laugh hard. | ||
| You're one of the few guys, like, when I was in Austin, I was doing some shit with Onnit. | ||
| Remember that time when you were working there? | ||
| And I came to see you at the comedy club. | ||
| I had a great time. | ||
| You made me happy. | ||
| It was fun. | ||
| It was fun sitting in the crowd and watching you kill. | ||
| Your kind of comedy is my kind of comedy. | ||
| It was a treat. | ||
| I was like, this is great. | ||
| So if you don't think that if you got healthy or something like that, you wouldn't be funny. | ||
| You're crazy. | ||
| But it's just that crazy thing that you think. | ||
| It's not a rational thing. | ||
| It's the tape that plays. | ||
| It's also a defense mechanism. | ||
| Your brain is trying to trick you into not getting better. | ||
| Because there's a lot of pressure in improving yourself. | ||
| That's why junkies a lot of times fall back. | ||
| Alcoholics fall back. | ||
| They fall back on it because there's comfort in failing. | ||
| Because they've failed so many times before. | ||
| The pressure of 99 days and no drinking. | ||
| I can't believe it. | ||
| That happens with gamblers, too. | ||
| With gamblers, man. | ||
| Oh, there's the fucking rush of the gambling. | ||
| Hey, I've been good, man. | ||
| I've been good. | ||
| I ain't playing the cards. | ||
| I ain't doing shit. | ||
| I've been jogging a lot. | ||
| And then one day, you see them all fucking eyes wide, crazy, looking like they're exhausted, been playing cards all night or something. | ||
| Fucking shirts untucked, half untucked, yeah. | ||
| The gambling one, man. | ||
| I never got into that one. | ||
| Gambling scares me. | ||
| That terrifies me because I know I would lose everything. | ||
| It's like sex. | ||
| It's like everything else. | ||
| It's like drugs or anything. | ||
| Anything that's a compulsion where it becomes your main obsession more than positive things in your life. | ||
| And it's what are you willing to sacrifice for? | ||
| Because people think, well, sex is not addictive, but it's like anything else. | ||
| What am I willing to give up to get it? | ||
| And what am I willing to sacrifice or risk to engage in it? | ||
| Are you willing to risk your freedom? | ||
| Are you willing to risk your whatever? | ||
| There's a lot of things that addiction makes you do, and they're just not normal people behavior. | ||
| Yeah, it's not normal people's behavior. | ||
| And you wonder, like, what is the root of those kinds of obsessions? | ||
| Like, what evolutionary benefit is being obsessed with sex or being obsessed with gambling or being obsessed with drugs? | ||
| Like, what is it that makes people gravitate towards those things where just everything else seems so secondary? | ||
| And then now, like, I gotta get to the casino. | ||
| Gotta get to that fucking casino. | ||
| I knew people like that, especially from my pool hall days. | ||
| Real gambling junkies that were always chasing that dragon. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Always trying to score, playing the lotto and looking to gamble on games and cards and... | ||
| You know, like Artie Lang, who talks about it. | ||
| I mean, with Artie, the gambling thing was really similar to him to the drug thing. | ||
| You know, the gambling, the addiction to gambling. | ||
| Like, he just loved being in action. | ||
| Come on, what do we got? | ||
| And that was a thing a lot like the drug thing. | ||
| I can't do it with sports. | ||
| It just seems like such a fucking waste of money. | ||
| Like, I just can't put that kind of energy into hoping. | ||
| Come on, two outs to go! | ||
| Fucking exhausting. | ||
| And I can't make myself do it. | ||
| And I'm glad I can't because I know I would like it. | ||
| Like, Rich Voss was a fucking horrible gambler. | ||
| So I kind of learned a lot from watching Voss and how out of control and how obsessive he was. | ||
| And I'm like, I know I would be. | ||
| It makes watching fights more fun. | ||
| I don't gamble on fights. | ||
| I used to. | ||
| I used to gamble in the old days of the UFC because nobody told me I couldn't. | ||
| I'm like, I can't affect the outcome. | ||
| I'm just calling the fight. | ||
| But then when I stopped, Aubrey, my partner at Onnit, I would give him tips. | ||
| We'd sit down with the card, and I'm like fucking 89%, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you really? | |
| Oh my god, yeah. | ||
| And there was a few that would come out every now and then, where I'd be like, bet the fucking house. | ||
| You know, there's a few where the... | ||
| The people that are making the odds, they don't know. | ||
| They knew Anderson Silva was good. | ||
| They didn't know he was that good. | ||
| That one, I was like, what is this? | ||
| Was it 3-1? | ||
| How much do you own? | ||
| Push it all on the Brazilian. | ||
| Push it all, baby. | ||
| There's always a few fights where a guy comes up. | ||
| From another organization, and I'm like, listen to me right now. | ||
| That guy is a motherfucking murderer. | ||
| You gotta put all the money on that guy. | ||
| One time, Arbery and I, with me as a pick, I think he was at 89% over a period of a couple of years. | ||
| I have such a shit record of picking fights. | ||
| Me and Matt used to do a thing at the end of Unfiltered where, hey, let's just try to guess the car. | ||
| I was fucking horrendous at it. | ||
| It's really hard to do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's hard. | |
| Really hard. | ||
| Well, with some fights, you're just guessing. | ||
| With some fights, you're literally guessing. | ||
| You're just like, I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Tony Ferguson and Khabib, I'm guessing. | ||
| It's hard to bet against Khabib. | ||
| But it's hard to bet against Ferguson. | ||
| The last time Ferguson lost was when he got a broken arm versus Michael Johnson. | ||
| And he's run through world-class fighter after world-class fighter since then. | ||
| I think he's a fucking monster. | ||
| But I don't know. | ||
| I don't know who's going to win that fight. | ||
| I mean, it's... | ||
| Real hard to bet against Khabib. | ||
| Khabib's undefeated, 28-0, smashes everybody. | ||
| But Tony's got an interesting style. | ||
| He can fight off his back. | ||
| He fights on the ground. | ||
| He's not going to try to get back up. | ||
| He's going to attack off of his back. | ||
| Everybody loses sometimes. | ||
| I mean, most guys don't retire undefeated. | ||
| That's why I thought that one loss with Jones might have taken that pressure off him. | ||
| Look at Tai Tuivasa. | ||
| I want to say 8-0 at one point, and then he's lost three. | ||
| He's a great fighter, but... | ||
| It might get in your head a little bit. | ||
| It might be something that happens when you lose that first fight. | ||
| Well, you know, Ty's fighting the best in the world, you know, at heavyweight. | ||
| And at heavyweight, you can't make any mistakes, man. | ||
| Those giant dudes with big-ass fists come slamming on your head. | ||
| Especially the Ngannou. | ||
| Can't make any mistake. | ||
| That fight, I'm so curious. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| I would lean towards Ngannou, but I don't know how much. | ||
| Rosenstreich can fight, man. | ||
| He can fight. | ||
| He's nasty. | ||
| I want to see what it's like. | ||
| You know, look, I thought Ngannou had an edge over Derrick Lewis. | ||
| Derrick Lewis won that fight. | ||
| And I know that was Ngannou dealing with the worry after he had lost to Stipe and he was really psychologically had an issue. | ||
| Didn't fight his fight. | ||
| But Rosenstreich's a different animal, man. | ||
| Rosenstreich's a different animal than Derrick Lewis because he's a real seasoned professional kickboxer. | ||
| I'm going to take Ngannou only because of what he's done since that loss. | ||
| Those three... | ||
| I mean, I thought Blades actually stood a chance because he had that one fight where it was, I think, a doctor stoppage in the second. | ||
| So I'm like, he's taken Ngannou's punches before. | ||
| He may be in his head a little bit. | ||
| Fucking ran through him, Kane, and Junior, so I can't ever pick against Ngannou again until he loses again. | ||
| Well, he's better now than he's ever been before, and I think the loss to Stipe ultimately, I know he's struggled a little bit in the Derrick Lewis fight, but I think the loss to Stipe ultimately has made him a better fighter. | ||
| He just understands what it's like to lose. | ||
| He understands what it's like to face the best heavyweight on record ever in Stipe. | ||
| You know, he went five rounds with the GOAT. Stipe's the GOAT. Yeah, he is. | ||
| He's defended the title more than anybody that's ever done it in the history of the heavyweight division. | ||
| And having that kind of experience against a guy like Stipe, I think is fucking hugely valuable. | ||
| So I'm going to train. | ||
| The next time I see you, I will have trained. | ||
| I'm committing to it. | ||
| I've been committing for two years to Matt, but I'm committing that I'm going to do it. | ||
| Bourdain didn't start until he was 58. I know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He got obsessed with it. | ||
| He loved it. | ||
| Loved it. | ||
| Loved it. | ||
| Dude, when I did his television show, he and I were rolling around in the dirt. | ||
| I was showing him positions. | ||
| And I was like, you got long arms. | ||
| Do you like Darcy's? | ||
| He's like, yeah, I got another move for you. | ||
| You know about the Japanese necktie. | ||
| We're going all these in the grass. | ||
| Like, I'm like, now from here, you got to turn it. | ||
| And we're doing all this stuff. | ||
| He was like obsessed. | ||
| He loved it. | ||
| He loved it. | ||
| Yeah, it was amazing to see because I had known him before when he was drinking and smoking and was fat and out of shape and taking statins because of his high blood pressure. | ||
| His cholesterol or blood pressure? | ||
| What are statins for? | ||
| Cholesterol, right? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| His body was very unhealthy. | ||
| And the doctors gave him an option. | ||
| It's like, look, you can change the way you eat or take these statins. | ||
| And he decided to take statins. | ||
| Because he loved drinking and eating and stuff. | ||
| But then he got obsessed with jujitsu and he got off the medication and didn't need it anymore. | ||
| He lost all his weight, looked ripped. | ||
| You know, it was interesting. | ||
| And I think a lot of people that have addictive personalities, and he certainly did, they can benefit from something that you're addicted to that's really good. | ||
| Remember you saying that your mom used to say that to you? | ||
| You know, replace it with something better. | ||
| She left me a message. | ||
| about getting prostitutes on the radio, so she quoted Dr. Phil. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| And I made a message on my second CD about, go, you'll meet some nice people. | ||
| But she was right. | ||
| I met nice people. | ||
| I felt better about myself when I went to the gym. | ||
| Mother was right. | ||
| She was right. | ||
| You just, you know, you got to replace one thing with the other. | ||
| The thing about going to the gym is sometimes you just go to the gym. | ||
| It's fucking boring and people quit. | ||
| They don't feel stimulated enough. | ||
| But if you take classes, that's when it's fun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like you take yoga classes or kickboxing classes or someone's teaching you things. | ||
| Then it becomes fun. | ||
| I just have two trainers. | ||
| Like I like having a trainer because it makes me go. | ||
| I have to show up because I'm like, oh, I'm fucking worthless. | ||
| That helps. | ||
| That helps. | ||
| Classes are good too, though, because a bunch of people are doing it with you. | ||
| Like, there's a bunch of people in there, and you're struggling. | ||
| I like yoga because of that, because we're all in it together, you know? | ||
| We're all struggling together. | ||
| I've done some yoga, but I just did a little bit. | ||
| I didn't have the patience for it. | ||
| You're breathing! | ||
| Focus on your breathing! | ||
| I don't know how to focus on my breathing. | ||
| My breathing sucks. | ||
| So, I can't breathe deep. | ||
| I don't do it right. | ||
| Your nose is jacked, yeah. | ||
| Terrible. | ||
| Get your nose fixed, homie. | ||
| I gotta wrap this up. | ||
| Alright, great, man. | ||
| It's four o'clock. | ||
| Listen, man. | ||
| Always a pleasure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Glad we did this. | ||
| Me too, buddy. | ||
| Every chance we can. | ||
| Can I ask people to watch The Degenerates on Netflix on season two and just go to my site. | ||
| I got a whole bunch. | ||
| Oh, and The Irishman. | ||
| They asked me to plug The Irishman. | ||
| Are you in The Irishman? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| I haven't seen it yet. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I played Don Rickles. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Do you really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| That's amazing. | ||
| I got one scene. | ||
| I gotta watch that movie. | ||
| Jim Norton on Instagram. | ||
| Jim Norton on Twitter. | ||
| JimNorton.com. | ||
| You got it. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| Love you, buddy. | ||
| I love you, man. | ||
| Thanks for having me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thanks for being here. |
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