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Jan. 17, 2020 - The Joe Rogan Experience
01:57:51
Joe Rogan Experience #1413 - Bill Maher
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bill maher
01:15:14
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joe rogan
39:32
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Speaker Time Text
unidentified
Hello, Bill.
bill maher
Great to be here in the man cave.
joe rogan
This is the professional extension of the man cave.
This part is where real work gets done.
This is the only part in the building.
bill maher
It's worth it just to see it.
No, really.
I did not expect this.
But, you know, as I was just telling you off the air, I invited myself on this show.
Yes.
joe rogan
What you requested?
unidentified
I did.
joe rogan
I would have invited you.
bill maher
I said, we're coming back on the air, real time's coming back in a few days, and we always do something to promote it.
I said, let's do that show.
I like that show.
Why can't I do the shows I listen to?
Wow.
Got that in Mexico.
It looks like it should be a ring for a roadie.
joe rogan
For a roadie.
What season are you guys coming into?
bill maher
Oh, fuck.
I don't know.
Seasons, it's hard to...
I could just go by years.
We started on HBO in 2003, but then we used to do...
For the first few years, they had us do two seasons.
It took them a while to get the idea that this is not like The Sopranos or any other show.
This kind of show is a habit show.
It has to be on most of the year.
We used to do a season from February to, like, May, and then we'd be off for four months and come back for a few months in the fall.
That's not the way you can do it when you're following events, a live show.
So finally, somewhere in there, they just, okay, so then it was one long season as opposed to two, so I guess they counted the early years as two.
We've been on HBO since 2003, but of course, you were on the old show, Politically Incorrect.
Somebody sent me a clip of that.
Wow.
I couldn't even bear to watch it just from the way we looked.
It was too sad.
Time is cruel.
Actually, we look better now just because we look douchier.
Younger, of course.
I mean, that's the trade-off in life is that you're douchier when you're younger, but you do look more pristine, shall we say.
joe rogan
You're less beaten down by time.
bill maher
Yeah, but that started in 1993. So I've already passed my...
We did a 25th anniversary show about a year and a half ago.
Yeah, in the fall of 18 it aired.
I couldn't believe that.
joe rogan
Do you know they're trying to bring back Politically Incorrect?
bill maher
Who is they?
joe rogan
Whoever the fuck they are, they came to me.
bill maher
That's so funny, because I suggested that a while ago, not with me hosting it, of course, but with somebody else hosting it.
I'll have to ask my manager about that.
I guess we sold it.
I think that's true.
When we moved to ABC, it must be ABC. When we moved to ABC, I think we probably sold them the rights to the show, which was probably stupid, but at the time it made sense.
Well, good luck with it.
joe rogan
I'm not doing it.
It was one of those questions.
My manager calls me up and says, you're not going to want to do this, but I'm obligated to tell you.
bill maher
Why wouldn't you want to do it?
joe rogan
It just doesn't seem like something I'd want to do.
bill maher
Now I'm insulted.
joe rogan
No.
bill maher
I'm just kidding.
joe rogan
I would never want to take over your show after you did it, and then you got it stripped away for saying something.
The whole thing was, like, once someone does a show, leave it alone, you know?
bill maher
Right.
Leave a tender moment alone.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Like, if you left and they started doing real time with Adam Carolla.
bill maher
Right.
joe rogan
You know?
bill maher
Which is exactly what they will be doing.
unidentified
It's just, come up with a new fucking show, you know?
bill maher
Right.
joe rogan
Do you feel constrained by the time, by the hour format?
bill maher
Sometimes.
I was on with Howard Stern recently, and I was saying that to him, and I feel the same sometimes when I watch or listen to you.
It's funny.
I don't get America.
People's attention span is either seven seconds or three hours.
Yeah.
There's no in-between?
joe rogan
Well, there's a lot of us.
That's what it is.
A lot of people.
Yeah, they're playing to the people with the shortest attention span.
They say, this is all they have.
This is all that's there.
That's not true.
But it takes a big risk to play to the three hours.
bill maher
I mean, there are virtues and vices to both of them.
I mean, I do like being forced to condense.
And for people, I always think of the person watching my show as the person who is interested in current events but doesn't have the time to follow it during the week.
They've got kids and jobs and lives.
They are going to watch me to catch them up.
and And it's my job to obviously entertain them, but also to point out what's important.
What happened this week that you should know about?
Somewhere in that live hour, whether it's in the monologue or in New Rules or the editorial I do at the end or in the panel, somewhere I want to cover everything I think you should know.
It doesn't necessarily mean it's the things that the newspaper does.
Or other outlets thought was important.
What I think is really important, that's what I'm going to cover.
So there is something to be said for condensing.
There's also a lot to be said for letting it breathe.
You know, I mean, letting it breathe, I do miss that sometimes.
I wish I could.
And very often we're in the middle of a discussion and I have to move on.
joe rogan
I feel like with the way things are going now with streaming, like I know HBO has their new streaming service.
Maybe they could just give you an option to let some of those conversations lengthen out.
It just seems like some of them you're just getting started and you have to cut them off.
bill maher
You're right.
And again, sometimes people just want the headlines.
Very often I'm reading something.
And it's too long.
I just think, you should have given me...
The New York Times starts every article...
Just tell me what happened.
Don't give me the background on a rocky road in Afghanistan, as Fran Lebowitz once said.
Just get to the part I care about.
Movies are too long.
Lots of stuff is too long.
People need editors.
But these kind of conversations lend themselves more than most art forms to just letting it happen.
And yeah, it's more natural.
I mean, I like the fact that unlike my early days when you'd sweat backstage and you'd hear the Tonight Show band playing, it's like...
You know, Johnny's going to ask you this, and then you're going to say that, and you're going to do this, and don't fucking veer from this.
You'll get in trouble, and this is good.
I didn't prepare anything.
joe rogan
Yeah.
bill maher
You know, obviously you didn't prepare anything.
joe rogan
No, I'm kidding.
bill maher
I did.
Really, you have no list of questions?
joe rogan
No, no.
I know you.
I like you.
I'm sure I'm not going to run out of things to ask you or talk to you about.
bill maher
But that's a talent in itself, that you could do that off the top of your head.
I think you think it's not that much of a talent, but trust me, a lot of people could not do that.
I don't know if I would trust myself if you said, you have two hours with this guy?
It would be in the back of my mind like, shit, what if an hour and ten minutes in, I'm like, fuck, I can't think of one more thing.
joe rogan
I can't imagine if you and I were at dinner together for two hours, we would run out of shit to talk about.
bill maher
That's probably true.
joe rogan
So that's this.
bill maher
Okay.
joe rogan
It's the same shit.
bill maher
Followed by Dead Air.
It was complete dead air.
joe rogan
Listen, man, I've been a fan of yours for a long time.
I bought True Story.
bill maher
And I have you.
Wow.
joe rogan
Yeah, I bought that book way back in the day, man.
I was living in New York.
It was a great book.
bill maher
Thank you.
joe rogan
It's a very underrated book on stand-up comedy.
bill maher
I appreciate that.
Yeah, it's a novel.
Yeah.
You know, it's a novelization of my early life.
joe rogan
Very accurate, though.
You could feel like you lived the life, and the names were hilarious of the characters you chose.
bill maher
No, I worked probably harder on that than almost anything I've ever done.
Really?
Yeah.
I would never write another novel.
Well, just to make every sentence, every paragraph...
Funny or telling.
No extra words.
To me, that's the kind of...
joe rogan
What year did you write that?
bill maher
It's funny.
I started it in the early 80s when I was still almost living it.
And I would get busy and put it aside and I'd look at it for years.
And then I did a...
This is my old life.
In 1985, in December, I went down to...
I think we all remember it.
No, we don't.
Linda Hamilton was the star.
joe rogan
I think I do remember it.
bill maher
I hope you don't.
joe rogan
I remember Linda Hamilton in a movie with you.
Now I'm picturing it.
bill maher
It was a TV movie and we stayed at the Club Med.
I was in, you know, it was kind of a low budget thing as far as the people in the cast and crew went because we stayed at the Club Med, which was not, Club Med is not a luxury hotel.
You know what club meds are.
You give up your money, you pay everything in beads, but you don't really need money.
You're going to enjoy the outside.
That's why you're in Mexico.
So the room is monastic, right?
There's no TV, because you're out all day.
You're just going to be in the waves and then you're going to fuck and go to sleep and whatever.
So I had a lot of free time because I wasn't in the shot every day, but I was in Mexico.
Eventually I got fucking cabin fever down there.
You know, I couldn't wait to get home.
But I was there a long time and had nothing to do, and I wrote a lot of the novel there.
I put it away again and then I was in a real career slump in the early 90s.
I had finished with acting mostly.
I didn't want to do that anymore.
I'd done a few sitcoms and I didn't want to be the office creep forever.
So I was just like, nowhere.
And that's when I finished it.
And also, that's like the year I did cocaine.
Which I probably would not have finished it without that.
joe rogan
It was only one year?
bill maher
It was one year.
I was never meant to do cocaine.
When everyone was doing it, I never wanted it.
You know me, I'm a pothead like you.
It's not my drug.
But, you know, if you really insist...
You can get into any drug.
And I just happened to be at this point in my life where I was vulnerable.
I had nothing to do all day.
I wasn't working.
And it helps you write.
joe rogan
It's a productivity drug.
bill maher
It's a productivity drug.
It was never a drug that I liked because I wasn't social on it.
But I used to like to have sex on it.
unidentified
Really?
bill maher
Most men did not.
I loved that.
And write.
But I didn't want to talk.
Some people are like, you know, that guy.
I was never that guy who did coke and talk a blue streak.
No.
But it helped me, you know, concentrate and organize and that kind of stuff.
And, you know, and then I was probably smoking pot too.
I was smoking cigarettes.
It was not a healthy year.
That was not a healthy year.
I remember, you know, because cocaine, which is kids, that is the worst drug.
It really is.
Because you get a little honeymoon period.
And then that quickly goes away, and then you're chasing that high.
And, you know, it's not healthy.
And then, you know, you're trying to, at the end of the night, take the edge off.
You know, you're into that, put the edge, I gotta put the edge back on.
I took it off too much by drinking Jack Daniels.
Ah, damn, now I gotta take it off again.
I put it on too much.
That was...
joe rogan
I never touched it.
I got lucky.
bill maher
You're very smart.
joe rogan
I would have probably really enjoyed it.
I think I would have really enjoyed it.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's probably why I didn't...
bill maher
Again, at the beginning.
joe rogan
Yeah.
bill maher
It's very much like a relationship, cocaine.
Good at the beginning, you know.
I think...
joe rogan
Trails off.
bill maher
I always say...
joe rogan
And because of resentment towards the end.
bill maher
There is a time when relationships are good.
Spoiler alert, it's the beginning.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
For a lot of them, for sure.
Now, when you put that book out, is it still in publication?
bill maher
Another great question.
I'm finding so much about my own life here.
I didn't know politically incorrect was being redone.
joe rogan
Comics from my era, like guys who grew up and got a hold of that book when we were just starting out.
It was huge.
A lot of guys passed it around.
A lot of guys talked about it.
Hey, you got to get this book.
bill maher
Yeah.
No, I mean, and I tried to make it into a movie.
There was many scripts written.
I mean, it's my own fault for not pushing that through, I guess.
But I thought, At the time, it really would have made a good movie, but it's probably too late now.
joe rogan
Well, you definitely have to change the names now.
bill maher
I did in the script.
It's very hard to depict stand-up comedy in a movie.
In fact, one of the original impetus to write the book was that no one was doing that well.
I remember that movie came out with Tom Hanks.
Remember that?
joe rogan
Punchline.
bill maher
Punchline, okay.
And Tom Hanks was good.
I mean, Tom Hanks could have been a stand-up comic.
He did it as good as you can.
joe rogan
Passable.
bill maher
Passable.
But they just never capture the whole essence of it.
And also, when you're trying to have someone...
I see this on...
joe rogan
Maisel?
bill maher
No, I haven't seen that yet.
Some show...
Oh, the one...
I think it's Jim Carrey's show on Showtime about...
joe rogan
Oh, I'm dying up here?
bill maher
Thank you, yes.
And I like the show, but whenever you're showing a stand-up comic and it's acting, you're acting as a stand-up and then the audience has to laugh.
There's something about it that isn't...
You can tell it's not real.
joe rogan
It's like a boxing scene in a movie.
Same thing.
bill maher
A little bit.
joe rogan
Yeah.
bill maher
Yes.
joe rogan
Rocky.
bill maher
Right.
joe rogan
Yeah.
bill maher
But that's sometimes purposely over the top.
This just comes off as fake because one thing we love about comedy is that laughter is involuntary.
It's in...
You can't...
As any giant comedy star knows, you can walk out at a comedy club and you'll get the biggest ovation in the world.
Two minutes later, you can be dying because it's involuntary.
Yes, they're thrilled to see you, but then if you don't say something funny, they're not going to laugh.
joe rogan
It's also...
A very uniquely live thing.
It's like you have to be...
I always say that if you watch a special on TV, you're getting 60% of the funny.
bill maher
You're right.
joe rogan
You have to be there live.
If you're there live, you'll get 100% of it.
So not only that, not only are you watching it not live, right, because you've got a recording of it, but now it's also a fake recording.
So it's a guy pretending to be on stage and an audience pretending to be an audience, and the whole thing is a disaster.
bill maher
Yeah, so maybe it's a blessing in disguise that it never got made into a movie.
joe rogan
They do a pretty decent job of capturing, the marvelous Mrs. Maisel does, of capturing the early scene in clubs, of her going up drunk and talking shit, and then people telling her, you could probably do comedy.
It seems chaotic and real, but it gets a little less realistic as time goes on.
bill maher
But you watch that show and you like it.
joe rogan
Yeah, I like the first two seasons.
The third season, I'm like...
I hope they're not losing me here.
bill maher
And it takes place in the 50s?
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah.
bill maher
Yeah, I would watch something like that, except there's just too much.
First of all, there's just too much.
Too many things to watch.
I mean, I put it on my list, but I'm going to get to that.
And does everything have to be like a season?
Does everything have to be so drawn back to our subject?
Everything is either very condensed or way too drawn out.
joe rogan
And you have to follow it.
It's not like an episode of Friends where you don't have to know what the fuck happened the week before.
You can just tune in.
Seinfeld's not dependent upon the week before.
bill maher
Right.
Everything's an arc.
Everything is.
And people binge.
I don't binge.
I never binged anything.
I have the opposite problem.
I have watching ADD. I love to watch TV. It's the last thing I do before I sleep at night.
But unless something is absolutely compelling, I don't watch more than 15 minutes of it.
I'll watch 15 minutes of this and then 15 minutes of that and 15 minutes of something else thing and then go to sleep.
joe rogan
You know, people are structuring their Netflix specials that way because of that.
People are doing their closing bit first.
bill maher
I read that somewhere that you have to grab them.
That's why every fucking drama is something and then six months earlier.
We have to go back because you have to grab them first.
And it's such a tired trope now.
It's like now that we've seen it a hundred times, think of something else.
Or just go really crazy and do something linearly.
joe rogan
Well, this whole thing that you were saying before, we either have a seven-second attention span or we have three hours.
I would love to see someone try to make a movie like Steve McQueen's Le Mans.
The old Steve McQueen.
Yeah, the old Steve McQueen.
bill maher
Kids, there was a Steve McQueen before the very talented director.
joe rogan
Oh, I didn't know there was a director, Steve McLean.
bill maher
Yes, you do.
joe rogan
Who is he?
What does he do?
bill maher
He directs...
Well, you know, right?
joe rogan
You heard of him?
bill maher
He's an African-American.
He directed 12 Years a Slave, I believe.
joe rogan
Oh, okay.
bill maher
Are you using your magic light box to Google it?
I can name you maybe four directors ever.
He's a big director.
He's a major, major guy.
That's Steve McQueen.
joe rogan
Oh, there he goes.
I didn't know who he is.
Shame, hunger.
bill maher
Widows, yes.
He just did Widows.
joe rogan
Never saw that.
bill maher
Widows, 12 Years.
Yeah.
Anyway, I remember the old Steve McQueen, too.
Yes, the one who died of cancer in 1980, I believe.
I remember him chasing cures in Mexico.
joe rogan
Lung cancer?
bill maher
I think probably.
I think he probably was a heavy smoker.
But yeah, he was...
He was, what about him?
joe rogan
The movie Le Mans is a really slow beginning.
There's no talking for like the first, I don't know how many minutes.
It's just, you know, people going about their life on the racetrack, like all preparing for things.
There's no chat.
bill maher
Oh.
You ever try to watch a Hitchcock movie?
joe rogan
Oh yeah, same thing, yeah.
bill maher
I mean, it just shows how different the audiences are and how we have...
joe rogan
I don't know if it's that or if it's that there's an expectation that people have a short attention span so that everything is made for that expectation.
bill maher
No, they do.
joe rogan
They do.
bill maher
I do think they really do.
I mean, the more you – I do.
I must say, as someone who grew up when Alfred Hitchcock was still – Was he still making?
Yeah, he made a movie in 1972. I was 16. I saw it in the theater.
It was one of his last.
He was on his last legs.
But Psycho was 1960. I was too young for that.
But he was still very in vogue and a big director.
I did watch the one he made in 1956, the year I was born, called The Man Who Knew Too Much, I think.
It's a story he made three times.
He liked that story about the innocent guy who's being chased.
By somebody, and he doesn't know why they're chasing him, and the police are after him, but he's got to find the bad guys before the police find him.
It's Jimmy Stewart and Doris Day.
It is, I mean, they talked about the master of suspense.
I mean, Jesus Christ, it's like the master of keeping me from falling asleep.
It's really subtle, slow.
I'm sorry, but I think they've improved on that.
Maybe that's sacrilege to the movie community, and Martin Scorsese will write me a letter or something, but Jesus Christ, I'd much rather watch Salt.
There's a thriller that moves, or Jason Bourne, those movies.
I feel like they took what Hitchcock was doing, and yes, they revved it up, and I'm glad they did.
Hitchcock's hard to get through.
joe rogan
But you also have to realize when Hitchcock was making films, they've been only making films for 50 years.
bill maher
Oh, even less.
I mean, he started in the late 30s.
unidentified
Right, right.
bill maher
I mean, talkies had only been around for like 10 years.
That's crazy.
He goes way back, yeah.
joe rogan
So, I mean, there's something about that, like, even when you think about stand-up, like, have you ever tried listening to Lenny Bruce?
unidentified
No.
bill maher
I certainly have.
Good example.
joe rogan
Yeah.
bill maher
I can't do it.
joe rogan
It doesn't work anymore.
Contextually, we're in a different world.
bill maher
But any of those old schoolers.
joe rogan
Yeah.
bill maher
That's a point.
It's funny.
It's in True Story where I talk about how those guys who are such...
Some icons couldn't make it today because they take too long.
You could take two minutes before you got to the punchline.
You could take two minutes to set something up.
The audience was perfectly okay with that.
You could never do that today.
Jack Benny and Bob Hope was more rapid fire.
But a lot of these old schoolers...
I mean, I have a never funny list.
Me and a friend of mine created years ago, and some of them are on it.
Danny Thomas, I don't know, Red Skelton.
I mean, there's some people I thought were never...
Bill Cosby, I must say, was on that list.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
You never thought he was funny?
bill maher
Never thought he was funny.
joe rogan
Even when he was doing Bill Cosby himself, like back in the album days...
bill maher
I may have missed some stuff he did, but everything I ever heard, even when I was a kid and I saw him on TV, I'm like, no.
This shit's corny.
I feel very, very ahead of my time.
I never liked him.
joe rogan
Well, it was one of those things where if you had said any of this that you're saying 10 years ago, people would have been furious at you.
bill maher
Well, somebody told me he was a creep back in 1983. Ah, okay.
joe rogan
Someone told me in 94. Yeah.
bill maher
And it was somebody I liked, not somebody I was romantically involved with, but a girl who he was horrible to.
And I never liked him after that as a person.
joe rogan
That makes sense.
I had heard from people on the set of news radio that he drugged girls.
It was like one of those weird things you heard as a room like, what does he do?
He drug girls?
Like Bill Cosby?
Bill Cosby, Bill Cosby.
We're talking about the same guy?
It's not like Steve McQueen, Steve McQueen.
We'll get him confused.
bill maher
Right.
No, I mean...
joe rogan
America's dad.
bill maher
And you have to wonder why a guy who could get laid, even as a married man...
That's obviously a sick kink he had.
But I also know a guy who was a promoter and told incredibly ridiculous stories about things that Bill Cosby did that were not sexual, but just informed me that what his kink is is part of a much larger sickness about control and making people do control.
Weird things because he can.
joe rogan
Let me tell you what I heard.
You tell me what you heard.
I heard he makes people watch him eat curry.
He would make the whole staff come into his dressing room and watch him eat.
bill maher
I hadn't heard that exactly, but it's exactly in line with what I heard, that he would do things like make you, what was one of them, like he would order food and then he would say, you know, scoop out the doughy part of the hamburger bun with After you wash your hands and put it back on the hamburger.
Or once he asked them to send him the soap that he hadn't finished using in the dressing room.
joe rogan
Send it to him.
bill maher
Yeah, just like crazy, crazy shit.
That again speaks to a pathology that's...
Larger than what we know about him sexually.
That fits as a subcategory under that because to need to have the woman be unconscious, that's a weird thing.
I can't get into...
There's certain things...
I can't even imagine why someone would find it attractive to be with a child.
I can't understand why that would be appealing to you.
I can't understand this.
A lot of things I can't understand.
joe rogan
I worked at a casino, and he made the security guard tuck him into bed and shut the lights off.
unidentified
He's like, I'm going to lie on the bed, and I want you to tuck me in and shut the lights off.
joe rogan
He had a whole routine that he wanted them to follow, and he wanted them to tuck him into bed.
Well, I had a friend who had an interesting take on it, and he said there is something that happens to some famous people, particularly famous people who were famous a long time ago, where they feel like they are better than other people.
There is a giant gap between them and other people, and they feel like they can do things to people.
bill maher
I don't think that's uncommon.
joe rogan
But his pathology.
bill maher
But most people try to hide that.
They try to hide that feeling.
unidentified
They try to present, you know, it's called acting.
bill maher
That's why when they're in front of the camera, they're so charming, but we know that behind the scenes, they're not.
But he seemed to wear it on his sleeve.
joe rogan
Well, sort of sometimes, right?
But the other thing that he was doing in public was he was trying to chastise other comics for using bad words, and he had a lot of weird control issues with that as well.
But my friend's take on it was...
That he thinks that there are people that they get to this position where they think that they're owed things.
And he thought about that sexually, too.
He said he probably felt like he was just so above those women that he didn't even want to negotiate with them.
He just drugged them and fucked them because he's Bill Cosby and they should be happy.
It's crazy.
bill maher
The human mind...
Is the bottom of the ocean.
It's mostly unexplored.
A giant mystery.
joe rogan
Well, especially that kind of scenario.
I mean, how many human beings have ever experienced what he's experienced?
He's been famous since the 1950s.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
He was an American icon.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
He is rich beyond imagination.
Groundbreaker.
And a legitimate world-class stand-up comic who toured the whole world, created this Cosby show that was a groundbreaking television show.
bill maher
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
So many factors.
So many factors.
And then on top of that, a psychotic pervert and a creep and drugging women.
I mean, on top...
Who knows what other fucking shit is?
Probably not just that.
bill maher
No.
joe rogan
You know, when someone's that fucked up, it's probably not just...
They might find like 30 dead cats in his backyard.
I mean, who knows what the fucking guy's into?
bill maher
Well, somebody told me, and this may not be true, that he was drugging people with animal tranquilizers.
He had a vet's license or something, and that's how he was...
Because people were like, how did he get the stuff that he was using for the knockout pills?
Would it offend you if I put my feet up?
joe rogan
No, not at all.
bill maher
It wouldn't?
Why would it offend me?
Well, it's a man cave.
Put them up there, buddy.
Relax.
joe rogan
I want you to feel good.
I put my feet up here all the time.
bill maher
Oh, great.
joe rogan
You got some loafers on purpose.
Those are your choice.
You wore those today.
bill maher
I didn't even think about it.
See, that's why I'm saying I'm glad I did this because I don't have to think about, oh, my wardrobe and what I'm going to wear and is Johnny going to like me?
joe rogan
Oh, boy.
Did you do the Tonight Show with Johnny?
bill maher
30 times.
Holy shit.
1982 to 1992. Wow.
Yeah.
joe rogan
30 times.
bill maher
Yes, which just shows you.
that show was when I started to do it there was such a proliferation of comics you could do that show 30 times and that didn't make me famous I mean it elevated me to a degree
it legitimized you in show business but at one point just doing the Tonight Show once made you a star but part of what True Story is about was the comics frustration that they came along at a time when it wasn't that unique a thing anymore there was too many comics you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting a comic
so I have like in my Sirius XM radio in the car the comic stations and I love them I would very often see somebody's name.
I've never heard of this comic.
I'll never see it again.
They play four or five minutes of their routine.
It's very professional.
It's funny.
I'm laughing.
And who is this person?
It just seemed like an innumerable supply of very competent stand-ups who have funny bits about the ketchup bottle.
And I don't know any of them.
And I guess they have followings.
joe rogan
Do you go to the clubs, though?
bill maher
Club?
Fuck no.
I haven't been to the clubs.
It's like you go back to high school.
No.
joe rogan
I go to the high school every day.
bill maher
You do?
joe rogan
Yeah.
I work at clubs all the time.
bill maher
So does Leno and lots of...
Seinfeld, Chris Ross.
I don't get it.
I don't know why you want to do that.
joe rogan
First of all, because my friends are there.
I like going there and talking to the other comics that are there all the time.
bill maher
Wow.
joe rogan
And I like to do it because it keeps me sharp.
I do that lineup at the store.
There's 13 other comics on the list.
bill maher
But I work the road.
joe rogan
I do that too.
bill maher
Yeah, but I'm saying, but that's how I keep sharp, or as sharp as I can be.
Well, also, I gave up on memorization years ago.
First of all, with all the pot I've smoked, it just wasn't going to happen.
I've used what I call the poor man's teleprompter for, oh, it's got to be 20 years, which is I have a music stand on stage, and then I have my notebook, which has my bullet points, and I don't think the audience even notices it after.
Every five minutes, I'm very...
I'm discreetly moving the page.
But that way I don't have to memorize anything.
When I get home from the gig, I go through it.
I redo it in the computer, print it out.
And it's just been the greatest thing because I can get to exactly what I want to say.
I hate comics who stand up there and go...
What else?
unidentified
What else?
bill maher
It's like, fuck that.
You should know what else.
You never hear me say what else to another.
I know what else, and I'm going to tell you.
I'm going to try to condense it.
I'm going to give you the best show I can for 90 minutes, and then leave.
joe rogan
Look, I mean, you certainly can do it that way.
bill maher
Yeah, we all have our own ways of doing it.
joe rogan
Yeah, everybody's got their own way of doing it.
bill maher
Yeah, we are.
joe rogan
I like to be around a lot of other comics, like a large number of very good comics all the time.
I think you feed off each other.
Like, I'm on the road all the time.
When I'm on the road, I'm with my friends.
You know, I go and tour with other...
bill maher
I know you do.
joe rogan
Very funny comics.
But when I'm in town, I just like to be around as many as I can.
bill maher
You should do my Hawaii gig one year.
You know I have a steady...
joe rogan
Well, I ran into Natasha and Mosha.
bill maher
Yes, you did it last year.
joe rogan
Yeah, I ran into them and Maui.
I was like, what are you guys doing?
They go, oh, we're working with Bill.
bill maher
Oh, in Maui?
unidentified
Yes.
bill maher
You were there?
joe rogan
Yes.
I was there with my family.
We were just vacationing.
bill maher
Next year is the 10th.
joe rogan
It was like...
It was like New Year's, right?
bill maher
Yes.
I started this 10 years ago.
Nobody would book it.
They all said, Hawaii's a dead market.
And I found this promoter who was like, okay, I'll try it.
And it worked.
Of course, Honolulu's a big city.
joe rogan
More than a million people there.
bill maher
Yes, and Maui.
So we do Maui on December 30th, and we do New Year's Eve in Honolulu.
And there's always surprises, and this year Sarah Silverman did it, and Bobby Slayton, and we have sometimes some very well-known musicians who join us.
Woody Harrelson is also in Maui, and Plays with us a little bit.
joe rogan
Steven Tyler's in Maui, too.
bill maher
Yes, I saw him there one year.
But maybe you'd consider slumming.
It's a great, fun trip.
And you're with comics.
joe rogan
I've never performed in Hawaii.
Every time I go there, it's just a chill.
bill maher
Well, I'm going to hit you up on that.
joe rogan
Okay.
I stopped doing New Year's Eve shows on my own.
bill maher
That's the great thing about it.
I always hated New Year's Eve.
What a shit day.
And the show's at 8 o'clock.
unidentified
Oh, okay.
joe rogan
So it's just a show.
It's a regular show.
bill maher
Right.
No.
Exactly.
It's a regular show.
8 to 10 or maybe a little after 10. We always...
The whole group sings Smile at the end of it.
I made that a tradition.
The old Charlie Chaplin...
Smile, though your heart is aching.
You know that one?
joe rogan
Sure.
bill maher
Well, you'll have to learn it.
joe rogan
Jesus, what a weird gig.
bill maher
Well, it's New Year's Eve.
You've got to do something as you send them off.
It's only an hour and a half left in the old year.
And I feel like that was the appropriate song because it was a song written by a comedian, Charlie Chaplin.
It's 100 years old.
It was a hit in the 50s for Nat King Cole.
Michael Jackson redid it in the 90s when he was on trial for child molestation.
Chose to do a song by Charlie Chaplin, the most famous child molester.
So that was Michael's way of...
joe rogan
Charlie Chaplin was a child molester?
bill maher
Well, Charlie Chaplin, I think back then they didn't call it that.
unidentified
But yes, he married...
Oh, yes.
bill maher
He married like – it was like Jerry Lee Lewis.
He was like with 14-year-olds.
unidentified
Really?
bill maher
Charlie Chaplin, yes.
I don't think I'm talking out of school about Charlie Chaplin.
Can you conjure something up there on your magic light box, Jamie, and see if there's information that – what are we – I just didn't know.
The audience says child molester.
Yes, Charlie Chaplin, famous for that.
You know, back then, I don't think they got you for it.
joe rogan
What was the legal age back then?
bill maher
Possibly none.
joe rogan
Right, they probably didn't know the law.
bill maher
I don't know if they even had such a concept.
I mean, we're talking about an era before women.
They weren't letting women vote in the teens.
Women didn't vote until 1920. I don't know if there were child labor laws.
I just don't know.
joe rogan
Well, Priscilla Presley, wasn't she like 14?
bill maher
Correct.
joe rogan
Yeah.
So Elvis was a child molester too.
And that was the 50s, right?
bill maher
Right.
Well, he went into the army in 58. So that's when he met her in Germany.
Her father was a colonel and she was 14. And of course, he was 25 and a giant rock star.
And he says to the colonel, Would you mind if I took your 14-year-old daughter back to America?
She can live with me at Graceland, and it'll all be good.
And the guy says, enjoy!
joe rogan
What the fuck was wrong with people back then?
Those are different human beings.
It's not just 100 years ago.
bill maher
No, no.
We're so different.
Just our...
I mean, I'm a little older than...
joe rogan
16-year-old Harris met actor Charlie Chaplin.
16 is...
unidentified
Not as disgusting as 14. That's not even, I don't think, the worst one of them.
It's a famous one as well.
joe rogan
Is there, like, Charlie Chaplin, the pervert, or child molester?
bill maher
Yes, there definitely is.
joe rogan
16 is fairly young, but people died young back then.
bill maher
I was thinking recently, people were just rougher.
You know, I mean, you and I, I think, walk the same path very often, talking about we, I think, are progressives, but we have short patience with some of the fragile, woke bullshit.
And some of that is just the way you're brought up.
I think kids are coddled, you know?
I think they're indulged, and that's the reason why they freak out over microaggressions and stuff.
And some of that is just, I was telling someone this story, not apropos of this, just talking about something else, but it just reminded me that here, I'm a kid who had, I think, a normal middle-class upbringing.
I consider it an idyllic time.
I consider it an innocence you couldn't buy today.
First of all, I grew up in New Jersey in the 60s.
There was no racial issues because there was only one race in town.
That's just the way it was.
I'm not saying that's good.
It wasn't.
There weren't racial issues.
There weren't drug issues.
I didn't try pot in high school.
Maybe there was a rumor that a few kids were doing it, but that wasn't even a thing.
There wasn't even any divorce.
It was really the land that time forgot.
You know, it was leave it to beaver land.
And I was telling someone this time, my father, who grew up in the Depression, cheap.
I, you know, love him dearly, but I don't think that's the wrong word.
And sent us to an army friend of his as the dentist.
And this is 1964. I was eight.
And did not use Novocaine.
Ugh!
And I remember vividly, I had like eight cavities that had to be filled.
He said, if it hurts, raise your hand as the drill went into me.
I was like, okay.
So they're drilling into me, and then I'm riding home up this big hill.
It was cold on my bike with the tears freezing on my cheek.
So get to the dentist yourself.
First of all, they wouldn't do that today.
They don't let kids just be on their own.
Like, get your ass to the dentist on your bike, get home after they drill into you with no Novocate.
And I'm saying, I wasn't raised by bad people.
People were just rougher.
It was just a rougher time.
And I wouldn't recommend these things exactly, necessarily, although getting someplace on your own I don't think is the worst thing in the world.
A little more of that.
joe rogan
Have you ever had Jonathan Haidt on your show?
bill maher
Yeah.
joe rogan
His book, The Coddling of the American Mind, is exactly about that.
And he believes that you should let your kids roam around and let them find their way home.
bill maher
There is a movement for that.
That's how I was raised.
joe rogan
That's how I was raised, too.
bill maher
I came home from school, fly into the house, change into my play clothes, fly into my house, Fly out the door.
My mother never said, where are you going?
What are you doing?
You were gone.
And again, in Leave It to Beaver Town, there was a 6 o'clock whistle.
joe rogan
Really?
bill maher
Yeah, at the firehouse.
The whistle went off.
Time for dinner?
Right.
And then you got your ass home when you heard the whistle.
We didn't have watches or phones.
joe rogan
I don't want...
I mean, I don't want to compare.
It's a different world, for sure, between the way we grew up and the way they're growing up today.
I don't know what's better.
I don't know which one's better.
There's certainly a lot of whiny crybabies today.
Yeah, but there's also a thing today where we're...
We're giving them access to information way quicker.
So there's got to be, and this is not something that's been studied, right?
Like what happens to a young mind when it has access to almost anything as soon as you get a phone.
You're giving 12-year-olds, 13-year-olds phones, and then they have access to everything in the world.
Everything.
bill maher
Porn.
joe rogan
Porn, instantly.
bill maher
Which I, you know, you're talking to a libertine.
But I do not think porn is benign.
I do not.
It is not benign.
Not the way it is now on the computer.
I mean, it's rapey.
It's...
joe rogan
What sites are you going to?
bill maher
Any site.
joe rogan
I'm not getting the rapey porn, but I think it's not benign because...
bill maher
Oh, please.
It's not...
It's domineering.
Yes, it's a lot of things that I'm not interested in, even in my fantasies.
I was doing a bit about that in my last special.
Like, even in my fantasies, I don't want to choke anybody.
I don't want to come on your face.
I mean, come on.
Coming on your face?
That's not rapey or domineering or I mean, I find that off-putting and gross.
It doesn't that doesn't move me and nothing.
I don't get it, but that's half of what Pornhub is.
joe rogan
Well, I think what half of it is now is a lot of stepsister stuff as like stepfather, stepsister, stepbrother.
bill maher
What's that all about?
joe rogan
Because people are trying to be naughty and there's nothing naughty left.
Because, like, the idea of porn originally was like, I can't believe these people are having sex.
Like, go back and watch porn from the 80s.
They're just having sex.
bill maher
Ass-fucking, choking, come on your face, spitting.
Yeah, it's gross.
And so, I'm not surprised that...
Kids have mental problems.
joe rogan
Fuck up ideas of sex.
unidentified
Yes.
bill maher
I mean, what's a first date, a first real date like?
unidentified
Right.
bill maher
When you saw, you know, a team of Japanese businessmen come on some schoolgirl's face when you were 10. Oh, you saw that one?
joe rogan
The bus?
That was a rough one.
I think it was a flight attendant.
I don't think it was a schoolgirl.
unidentified
Yeah.
bill maher
There was a squid.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Oh, there's always squids.
They're into octopuses, tentacles and shit.
bill maher
Yes.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's not necessarily benign, but neither is alcohol, neither is gambling.
bill maher
Right, I'm not saying it should be outlawed, but I mean, if I was a parent...
joe rogan
Yeah, it's an issue.
bill maher
I would keep it away from kids.
joe rogan
There's also an issue that you don't tell kids about it.
They find out from other kids.
There's no discussion of what it is.
No one in their right mind would ever sit down and watch porn with their son and say, this is what I want you to avoid.
This is why I want you to avoid this.
But it's probably not the worst idea.
There comes a legality issue.
I mean, I don't even think it's legal to watch porn with a 13-year-old kid, but if you have a son and he's 13 and you know he's going to be exposed to these things, you almost have a responsibility to talk him through it and just give him some...
To give some understanding of what is the landscape.
Here's a big one.
Why are these girls doing this?
Okay, here's something that people don't like to admit that enjoy porn.
The vast majority of them have been molested.
The vast majority.
bill maher
Of who has been molested?
joe rogan
Porn actors.
Is that true?
Yeah.
There was some study they did on girls who get into porn who have been sexually abused, mentally abused, and physically abused.
And it was overwhelming.
It was overwhelming.
I mean, obviously it's just anecdotal.
It's based on one group of people that they, I don't know if it's the largest study.
bill maher
It's not surprising.
joe rogan
Not surprising at all.
bill maher
No.
joe rogan
So they're searching for acceptance and they're willing to do something that's way outside the norm.
I'm sure there's just some girls are just really promiscuous.
They're into sex.
There's nothing wrong with them.
They just love it and they love performing.
But I think there's less of them than there are of the girls who were probably abused.
And you know, maybe they turn a negative into a positive.
I'm not saying they shouldn't do it.
I'm not casting any judgment.
But I am saying that...
You should understand what this thing is.
How come some people like to fuck on camera and everybody else is afraid that you're going to see their genitals?
bill maher
I don't know about the watching porn with your son, Joe, but...
joe rogan
Yeah, I wouldn't suggest it either.
I'm just saying.
bill maher
I'm kidding.
But what I would tell a kid, especially a boy, is son...
What you're seeing in porn, don't think that women really like that.
Because they don't.
They don't want to have somebody come on their face.
joe rogan
Someone must.
bill maher
Of course, someone likes anything.
That's one of the bad things about the internet, is that in the old days, if you were some sort of weirdo pervert, you thought, and the world was better because you thought, that you were completely alone in the world.
Now, whatever your kink is, you could put it on the internet.
You could write, you know, I want a hooker to shit on me while I play with electric trains, and there'll be a thousand people in two minutes who are saying, me too!
joe rogan
Yeah.
bill maher
And that, I don't know, now you have a community of electric train shitter honors.
joe rogan
You got an echo chamber.
bill maher
Yes.
joe rogan
They're all enjoying shitting on you with electric chains.
bill maher
So that's all unhealthy.
But I just don't think that, and that would be my main lesson to an adolescent boy.
Okay, we can't keep the porn away from you.
Just don't think that's the way real women are or what real women like.
I don't think they like Tinder either.
In fact, I watched some documentary.
I can't remember what it was called.
I think it was on HBO about...
Dating on social media.
And that was the main theme of it was women are doing it, young women, but they don't like it.
And it's not surprising they don't like it.
Guys are, of course, wired very differently and they just want to hook up and move on.
I read also an article about it and I think it was in Vanity Fair and the woman says, okay, she did it once, she tried Tinder, she goes to a hotel or meets a guy she had just met over the phone and they fuck and then she said, as I was getting dressed I turned around and he was sitting on the bed looking at Tinder.
unidentified
Whoa!
bill maher
So he had just come, and here he is looking for the next victim.
Victim?
Willing participant, I would say.
How dare you with the victim talk?
I didn't mean that.
I know what you're saying.
joe rogan
He's a predator.
bill maher
She was a willing predator.
How dare you?
joe rogan
That's what I'm saying.
He's out there hunting.
He's trying to get gals.
bill maher
But it's just what his gals...
joe rogan
Trying to get the ladies.
It's not designed for women's sensibilities.
It's just not.
bill maher
Remember Ashley Madison?
It was the cheating site?
And it was like 12,000 women and 126 million men.
Crazy number like that.
And most of the women on it were hookers.
joe rogan
Were fake too.
There's a lot of them that were fake.
They had like fake accounts.
Yeah.
It was hilarious when you have a dating site set up just for people that want to cheat and then they all get busted because someone hacks into it.
Like, do you fucking dummies use your real name?
Like, Jesus Christ.
bill maher
I mean, just...
You ever read that book, Sapiens?
joe rogan
Yes.
bill maher
Such a great book.
And he goes into the fact that...
Monogamy, probably not what is wired in us.
The reason why there's so much misery about relationships is it probably wasn't that way.
In early man, and I'm saying early man, like homo sapiens, which haven't been on Earth that long.
joe rogan
There's no primates that are monogamous.
They've never found one.
And we are primates.
bill maher
Right.
And we probably had a system, system is just how we were, that was closer to the chimps and where it was like communal fatherdom.
You know, you didn't really know whose kid it was.
So there wasn't this possessiveness because...
You know, I guess the women fuck different men in the grouping.
And there wasn't that feeling of I own you.
joe rogan
Right.
bill maher
And this pussy's mine and all that bullshit.
joe rogan
You read Sex at Dawn?
bill maher
No.
joe rogan
It's basically about that.
unidentified
Okay.
joe rogan
My friend Dr. Chris Ryan wrote it.
bill maher
Okay.
joe rogan
Interesting.
It's basically about that.
It's about how people behave, the polyamorous relationships they had in these primitive cultures before DNA testing and before they understood paternity.
That's really what it was all about.
It was about the community would raise children.
And there was a lot of shared sex in between different people.
bill maher
So much of love...
Love is, I think, possessiveness, what people think is love.
It's not love.
And also, you make me feel good is not love either.
To me, and they always say, love is the thing that has never been able to be defined.
I don't think it's that hard.
It's selflessness.
It's when I care for your happiness more than my own.
That's love in any kind of relationship, man or woman, whatever.
joe rogan
Or at least as much as my own.
bill maher
Yeah, right.
And if being without me would actually make you happier, then I'm for that.
That's love.
That would not characterize most of my early relationships, how I felt and what I thought what love was.
joe rogan
Well, it's interesting when we look at other animals, right?
Because monogamy in other animals.
In other animals, monogamy isn't a choice.
Like, the animals that are monogamous, they don't have any desire.
Like, it's naturally built in, wired into their system.
It's not like they choose.
bill maher
Like swans?
joe rogan
There's a bunch of them.
Penguins, for instance.
bill maher
Penguins, yeah.
Penguins are gay, we know that.
joe rogan
They all look the same.
They might as well be gay.
bill maher
Aren't there gay...
Wasn't there a big...
joe rogan
Thing about gay penguins?
bill maher
Well, there was a story, I feel like, about gay penguins or...
unidentified
Really?
bill maher
Yeah, there's something, because I feel like the usual suspects on the right...
Yeah, look up Charlie Chaplin, gay penguin fucking...
Fucking kids.
joe rogan
Smile.
bill maher
There's something...
Maybe it was a story, something that made the evangelicals mad.
joe rogan
About penguins?
bill maher
Yeah, about penguins.
I think it's penguins.
joe rogan
My point would be that any of these animals that are doing this, they're not doing this because they have a choice and they understand what it is.
Ah, New York Times, gotcha.
Gay penguins and their hope for a baby have enchanted Berlin.
Two male penguins of the Zoo Berlin have adopted an egg.
bill maher
That's it.
joe rogan
That's what it is.
bill maher
Two male penguins adopted an egg.
joe rogan
People are upset.
bill maher
Delighting Germans, but upsetting Pat Robertson big time.
joe rogan
Oh, was he bummed out about that?
bill maher
Yeah, somebody like that was.
Or all of them were.
I'm sure.
The family council, those types.
You think they want to have the example of penguins being gay?
joe rogan
I wonder if they even give a fuck or if it's just a hustle at this point.
Do you think they really give a fuck about these penguins being gay?
I think they have to say something because it's some new thing to talk about and it gives them fuel for outrage.
It's a juicy story in the news they could jump on.
bill maher
Yeah, I mean, Pat Robertson, he's still on TV, right?
He needs material like you and I do.
joe rogan
Yes, that's what I'm thinking.
Yeah.
bill maher
You never know with these people.
joe rogan
Gay penguins.
That's where you draw the line.
That's it.
That's enough.
Their agenda has moved over to the penguins.
Such a strange time.
It's a strange time where I feel like if you read Steven Pinker's stuff, he talks about how life has never really been easier than we have it today.
But it's also probably one of the reasons why people are so outraged about things today.
There's less real shit.
That's dangerous in this world.
There's less.
There still is real danger.
There still is real murder and real rape and real robberies.
But there's less of it than ever before.
But yet there's more outrage than ever before about nonsense things.
bill maher
Well, when societies get too successful, and you could make that claim about America, that's when they become a feat, and that's when they become soft, and that's when they fall.
This is a story that goes back to ancient Rome and Lots of other societies.
You're a victim of your success.
In a large way, we're that because, yes, people don't – we were just talking about how people were rougher.
No Novocade.
That wasn't even the roughest thing.
We don't know hardship except for that sliver of the country that fights the wars.
Those people know hardship.
Of course, we do have poverty in America, but there's also a fairly substantial safety net.
That this country has.
joe rogan
In comparison to other parts of the world, but there's parts of the world that are riddled with crime and gangs.
Those people deal with real hardship.
bill maher
Oh, real hardship.
Those are the people coming from those Central American countries that they always are freaking out about, the Trump administration, because yes...
When gangs rule the country in El Salvador and Honduras, those places, life is precarious and easy to lose.
But I know Steven Pinker's point, which is a great point, is let's not forget that in the last 20, 30 years, The amount of people we've risen out of extreme poverty, the people who used to live on a dollar a day.
It wasn't that long ago when I read this stat, a billion people defecate in the street.
That's where they poop.
That's all improved greatly.
Now, part of the reason why Trump people are upset about jobs and stuff and going overseas, well, that's part of the reason why, is because we lifted out of extreme poverty people all over the world.
But they took those manufacturing jobs.
That's why they're not living in extreme poverty and why they're not pooping in the street, because they're making Trump ties as opposed to somebody in Ohio.
So...
Pick your poison.
joe rogan
Yeah.
I mean, this is like what we're talking about with us growing up, that life was rougher, and life is easier today, but you have more access to information, so maybe it could be better.
And then things seem to be moving in a better direction in terms of things being safer, less violence, less crime, less rape.
And then people also get upset at you bringing up those statistics.
That's where it's really interesting that Pinker gets attacked for just stating statistical facts.
And he's not making value judgments.
He's just saying, hey, things are, if you look at the overall numbers of things, this is the safest time to be alive ever.
And the people, no, but what about this?
What about that?
bill maher
It's a horrible hallmark of our era that we live in.
That facts almost always come second.
joe rogan
Yes.
bill maher
Your political agenda comes first.
joe rogan
Yeah.
bill maher
And if it doesn't fit in, then we don't want to hear those facts.
And that's the left and the right.
joe rogan
It is the left and the right.
It's both.
And it should be...
It should be something that everybody rejects.
It should be something that angers everyone.
It shouldn't be tied to one party or another party.
And it really should be something that if there's a real problem with communication in this society, one of them is the denial of actual facts and information.
If we know things, we have rock solid statistics, whether it's about climate change, whether it's about war, the budget, whatever the fuck it is, if you have a real number, And you want to spin and deny.
That's a giant problem.
It's a giant problem.
bill maher
Right.
I get madder at the left because I want them to be better.
And they should be better.
And they're the science party.
And they're supposedly the fact people.
I expect this shit from the right.
Denying climate change and so forth.
They've been doing that for a long time.
joe rogan
The left has this dirty thing.
If you disagree with them in any way, you become an alt-right person.
I mean, it's obviously a small sliver of people that are doing this.
Yeah.
Boy, I got stuck in this alt-right category.
I'm like, you guys are out of your fucking mind.
I've never voted right in my life.
bill maher
Right.
I know.
But there's a...
I feel like, I'm sure as you do sometimes, a man without a country.
And there's a group of us, Sam Harris, people you've had on, Jordan Peterson, Barry Weiss.
We're all progressives, but sensible progressives.
joe rogan
Real progressives.
bill maher
Real progressives.
joe rogan
We're not blindly ideological to our party.
bill maher
Right, and we don't chase these virtue signalers who are always...
As a friend of mine said, they wake up offended.
And I'm always reading a story.
Like, daily, I read something, and what goes through my mind is, this country now is completely binary.
There's only two camps.
We're totally tribal.
You're either red or blue, liberal or conservative, and everything that one side does That anybody does that represents that side has to be owned by that entire side.
Because people go, well, you're the party of.
So whenever there's something on the left that's cuckoo crazy, We all own it.
And that's one reason why Trump won.
Sure.
Because people, you go through the polling, his fans are not oblivious to his myriad flaws.
What they love about him, what they all say they love is he wasn't politically correct.
It's hard to measure how much people have been choking on that political correctness.
They do not want to walk on eggshells.
They do not want to think that one little misstep and they'll get fired or it'll be castigated.
And these are not just famous people.
I mean, these are just regular people.
And I think when someone reads the kind of stories you see every day, and it's an eye roll, and it's an eye roll at the left, that's when you lose people.
I'll give you an example.
About two weeks ago, the Giants, my football team, the New York football Giants, cut...
I think his name is Janoris Jenkins.
joe rogan
Is he using the R word?
bill maher
Yeah.
unidentified
Yes.
bill maher
We have to say the R word?
joe rogan
No, you can say retarded.
bill maher
Okay.
Well, we're just, we're not saying it.
joe rogan
You gotta look like, oh my god.
bill maher
I don't know what the fucking rules are.
Yes, and he, okay, first of all, I don't understand why that generation feels the need to engage with their fans on Twitter, but he was.
joe rogan
Someone needs to teach him social media.
bill maher
Some guy was criticizing him, and he's a good cornerbacker, safety.
Whatever he is.
And was criticizing him and he answered back.
joe rogan
Yeah.
bill maher
Again, I don't know why, but saying, here are my stats.
I'm pretty good.
joe rogan
I only can do my job.
bill maher
Right.
joe rogan
Dot, dot, retard.
Okay, wait.
bill maher
You missed a point.
You missed a point.
joe rogan
You missed part of the story.
bill maher
I'm going to explain.
So then the guy, the fan, says, well, why does it matter?
The team is losing.
And that's when Janoris Jenkins said, I can only do my job, retard.
unidentified
Cut.
bill maher
Like...
joe rogan
Cut from the team.
bill maher
Cut.
Like the next day.
And...
First of all, I think he said something that I thought it was a hood thing.
You know, maybe Janoris Jenkins didn't get the memo.
Because he's not...
You know, like on Twitter 24-7 and living with the wokesters that we don't do this anymore.
joe rogan
I think they offered him a chance to apologize and he said no.
bill maher
I think he did.
joe rogan
Did he?
bill maher
I think he did.
joe rogan
He did after they cut him.
unidentified
But...
bill maher
Yeah, I don't think he, like, stood – I insist on saying this word.
But, you know, it seems like there's no room anymore for someone just to go, oh, sorry, I didn't realize this was such a thing.
Because, you know, they do move the goalposts often.
And they like to because it's easier to catch people that way.
So how about just, oh, sorry, I guess we don't do this anymore, my bad, and move on with our lives instead of, no, you're canceled, you're cut, you are irredeemable.
It's hard.
joe rogan
Ridiculous.
bill maher
It's ridiculous.
And what I'm saying is, like, every day there's some story like that, and it just all goes into the bin left wing.
And that's when people go, you know what?
Trump's an asshole.
I don't like him, but I don't want to live in that world.
These people are even fucking crazier.
And that is the great danger of re-electing him.
And they very well may do it.
joe rogan
Yeah, it very well may.
This over-correction, over-reaction, things like that infuriates people.
And they love it when Trump says crazy shit because it sounds like something that they would say.
bill maher
He's trolling.
joe rogan
He had that one speech where he's talking about China.
This is the way you talk to China.
They say, listen, motherfuckers.
And everybody went, yes!
bill maher
Yes!
joe rogan
Yes!
Like, just that alone.
Like, I even laughed and clapped.
I was like, that's fucking hilarious.
Because that is what you would hope some crazy version of a president would say that would never really exist, but all of a sudden he exists.
bill maher
Sometimes he says something that I totally do not want a president to say.
But if he wasn't president, like, for example, when he was confronted, may have been by Bill O'Reilly when he was still extant, about Putin killing journalists or something, and Trump said something like, well, we're not so innocent either.
Now, I don't think the President of the United States should say that, but you know who else says that?
Noam Chomsky.
That's like something Noam Chomsky says.
America's guilty of also doing these horrible things.
We're not innocent either.
joe rogan
Yeah, he would be a little bit more articulate about it, but yeah.
bill maher
Right.
But the point is that no one judges anymore by the content of what they say.
It's just by whose team are you on.
So if you liked it when Noam Chomsky said it, you shouldn't hate it that much when Trump said it.
Or vice versa.
If you hated it that Norm Chomsky said it, then you should hate it that Trump said it.
But that's not how people react.
joe rogan
Well, the team thing is so prevalent that even when he does something militarily, like backs out of a country, you see people on the left criticizing him for not going in.
Or not engaging.
Like, Jesus Christ, you guys are supposed to be the people that always don't want war.
And when someone who's the president does something that's not a move towards war, we should all be saying, yes, please, more of this.
He's got a good thing.
Here's a good thing.
It's not like...
But we want to categorize people as being, like you said, one or zero.
Binary.
Irredeemable.
Like, either chosen or irredeemable.
And you have to be very careful With how you talk or you get labeled in one or two of those categories.
And people are so scared now.
I had a conversation with a friend a while back.
It was a crazy conversation.
It was alcohol involved.
But he said something really ridiculous.
He was saying that maybe it's good that women get so much money in divorce because of all the shit they've been through for men over the years.
And I was like, what does that have to do with money and divorce?
Like, if that's an individual person that's getting money from another individual person, is she collecting?
Is this like reparations for all the horrible things that have happened for women?
And he goes, well, and so he starts getting defensive.
He goes, well, what about income inequality that women have to deal with?
I go, oh, Jesus.
I go, well, you know that's not real, right?
And he goes, what do you mean?
I go, it's not like they have the same jobs.
It's not like both women, the man and a woman are both mailmen.
They both do the same amount of houses, but the man makes a dollar when the woman makes 70 cents.
He goes, that's exactly what it is.
I go, the fuck it is.
That's not what it is.
bill maher
It's illegal.
joe rogan
It is illegal.
unidentified
We've already passed that law.
joe rogan
Everybody walked on eggshells.
Everybody was like, oh, Jesus, what are you saying?
You're saying income inequality is not real?
Not that it's not real.
bill maher
There's so many of those mic drop phrases that they use.
Kids in cages.
Which, of course, we don't want kids in cages, but there's a whole discussion to be had about immigration as opposed to just kids in cages.
Or Islamophobia.
Of course, that is a real thing.
It exists, but there's a whole other discussion.
But just these...
Look, the left often uninformed.
They just are.
joe rogan
But they have these bullet points that they feel like they definitely can shut a conversation down.
bill maher
That's what I mean.
They don't feel like they have to learn a lot about a subject because you have these mic drop sayings or phrases that just stop people from talking.
joe rogan
Well, I'd fortunately known the actual statistics, and so when we were talking about it, I was saying, no, no, they choose different jobs.
bill maher
And also, they negotiate for themselves differently.
They need to negotiate for themselves better.
joe rogan
Well, that's one of the things when people accuse Jordan Peterson of being sexist.
You know, Jordan Peterson literally counseled and coached women how to be more assertive in their jobs to get better raises.
Sure.
It was really explaining how to do this and just even maybe possibly against your better instincts to exert yourself and show that you understand your value.
And this is what men do.
And this is why men get raises.
And oftentimes women just kind of keep it to themselves and they're a little nervous about it.
bill maher
But it is amazing.
I mean, you mentioned divorce.
Yeah, they don't assert as well going for a raise, but boy, the divorce thing?
I mean, that can go both ways if the woman is the one who has more money.
joe rogan
Yeah, but when the fuck does that ever happen?
That's like women who beat up men.
Women beat men up, too.
When I hear that, I'm like, oh my god.
bill maher
I always say, then go to the gym.
You should go to the gym, man.
joe rogan
And get yourself a little stronger.
Men's rights assholes are like...
There's so much to make fun of men's rights guys, but I had one of my comedy specials, I had a bit about it, where they were saying, do you know that men get raped more often than women?
I go, yeah.
By other men, you fucking idiot.
Right, exactly.
bill maher
I remember that.
joe rogan
Chicks are out there raping dudes?
What do you think?
bill maher
Cheerleaders are out there raping cops?
Have you had Christina Hoff Summers?
joe rogan
Yes.
bill maher
Yeah, I love her.
Yeah, I love her too.
She was on our show recently.
And, you know, we were talking about the fact that also they don't bring up a lot of the time that...
Most of the horrible, dirty jobs in the world are done by men.
They're the ones who are up on the telephone pole.
joe rogan
Most likely to die on the job, most likely to be murdered, most likely to go to jail.
bill maher
Most likely to get a much longer jail sentence for the same crime.
So we're not crying about being men.
We're just saying, as she says, life is a complex mixture of advantages and disadvantages.
joe rogan
Yeah.
I think the pendulum's swinging the other way, though.
I think really dumb statements like, fuck all white men, like we used to hear on Twitter, and people used to applaud and retweet it.
I think people are now like, oh, what the fuck?
bill maher
Well, that's a little out there, but I have heard when...
Now, it's going in the other direction because the race is winnowing, but at the point of, say, six months, a year ago, when lots of people were getting into the race, at some point there were 24 Democrats in there, and when a white guy would get in, it was very common to hear, do we need another white guy?
And that was completely okay on the left.
And it's like, okay, but then we are saying...
That we're using race to judge whether someone is qualified.
joe rogan
And gender.
bill maher
Right.
Exactly.
We are using race and gender to say whether someone is qualified, just so we understand what we're doing here.
Because I don't think that's exactly what Martin Luther King meant when he said judge by the content of their character.
joe rogan
It's the dumbest form of identity politics and it's really ridiculously dumb when they don't realize that that same sort of strategy is going to come right back around at you.
It's like people that think, oh that guy's pissing me off, I'm going to go fucking punch him.
Well guess what, he's going to punch you back.
It's not that simple.
If you go around judging people based on their gender and their color and their race, guess what?
They're going to do that to you now.
It's a terrible strategy.
bill maher
I want to know how...
The divorce laws came to be.
I do.
I want to know.
Somebody must have written a book on it.
I just want to know how we got to this place where, you know, first of all, this idea that you have to live in the style of which you've become accustomed?
joe rogan
I can help you here.
I can help you in a couple ways.
Here's the big one.
Lawyers make a lot of money if there's a large settlement.
bill maher
So it's lawyers.
joe rogan
Yes.
Lawyers don't make a lot of money if there's no settlement.
You know, Phil Hartman, when he was getting divorced, one of the things that he said to me, I go, dude, just fucking give her half.
Come on, man.
You make a lot of money.
He goes, it's not half.
He was crazed.
He's like, it's two-thirds.
He goes, the fucking lawyers get a third.
It's a goddamn scam.
bill maher
Exactly.
joe rogan
And I've had friends that have gotten divorced, and even though they had come to an agreement with the ex, like, let's listen to this, and you'll get this, and I'll get this, fine.
Then the lawyers jump in, he's trying to fuck you, and they're trying to fuck you over, you deserve more.
bill maher
That's exactly the plot of the movie Marriage, have you seen Marriage Story?
joe rogan
No, I haven't.
bill maher
It's terrific.
I was, again, at the beginning, because it was about...
An actress and a theater director, and I was like, Jesus fucking Christ, can't you at least pretend that there are people in America not outside of your exact circle?
There have been so many big movies, you know, that are just about your world of show business.
Have a little creativity, make them something else.
But okay, I got over that.
And then it's just a terrific movie about, there's no bells and whistles.
It's just, we're married, we seem very happy, and And then, well, we're not happy, and we're going to get divorced, and then we're going to just do it amicably and not get lawyers involved, and then it all falls apart.
And once it goes down that path that you're talking about, it just becomes as vicious as anything without guns.
joe rogan
Well, I had a friend who got divorced and no family, no children.
They didn't have children.
And it dragged on for more than, I think, almost three years.
And even though they had come to some sort of conclusion, he was paying for his wife's lawyer.
I go, it's like you're paying for the general of the army that's trying to kill you.
bill maher
You're paying for someone to fuck you in the ass.
joe rogan
Yeah.
bill maher
You're getting fucked in the ass.
It's broken.
unidentified
I have seen so many men broken by it.
joe rogan
Devastated.
bill maher
Every time somebody says, you know, people unfortunately get a horrible disease like cancer, and they say, I couldn't have gotten through it without my wife.
I always think, yeah, and maybe she gave it to you.
I don't mean, of course, literally, but I just mean that when you're in a bad relationship, the stress, we don't know what contributes all the things to cancer, but that certainly is, I'm sure, one of them.
And then going through a divorce like that, I've seen people, like you say, just broken.
joe rogan
They get wrecked.
And it's a system.
The reason why the divorce laws are set up the way they're set up, people think, oh, we're protecting women.
Horseshit.
They're doing it so that they can extract the maximum amount of money out of the mail.
That way, the lawyer gets the biggest chunk that they could possibly get.
Most lawyers, they're working on a percentage basis.
Especially if a woman doesn't have as much money, or if the lawyer will come to her, look, we've got a deal here, we'll figure this out, don't pay me now, we're going to make sure we get you the most, we'll take care of it all in the end.
And this is what has happened to several of my friends that have been divorced.
And you know what it is once you see it.
What I get and I understand and I accept and I support is child support.
I mean, I grew up with a deadbeat dad.
My dad never paid for shit.
And I have many friends that have also experienced a lot of financial hardship growing up because their dad was a piece of shit and didn't want to pay for their children.
People are very close to me, including my wife.
There's a big difference between that a man taking responsibility for his children It's a big difference between that and alimony alimony is creepy There's something creepy about like my friend like I said didn't even have a child with this woman He is still paying her by the way.
This is the same guy very good friend of mine has been divorced for 14 years has been married For 12 to a new woman.
Still paying the old woman.
And my joke was like, you fucked her so hard she can't work.
bill maher
Right.
joe rogan
Like she literally can't work.
Because he's a wealthy man.
He made good money.
And he works really hard.
He's not in the business.
He has a real job, and he works long fucking hours every day, and he has his own business.
And he has to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to someone he doesn't even talk to anymore because he used to fuck her.
bill maher
I knew of a guy who was a doctor who went to jail every night because he couldn't make the payments.
And they would let him out on weekends to do rounds and stuff, but he was...
joe rogan
I got a better one for you.
Want to get anything crazy?
unidentified
Yeah.
Hit me.
joe rogan
Dave Foley, who's on news radio last year.
Yeah, sure.
Dave Foley.
When he was getting divorced was when he was on news radio.
So it was a financial peak.
He was the star of the show.
He's making a lot of money.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
And so his payments were set up for that.
bill maher
Sure.
joe rogan
So this is in Canada, right?
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
He tells the judge, I don't make that kind of money anymore.
That was an extraordinary time in my life.
It's very hard to make that kind of money.
I'm an actor.
The judge says, your ability to pay has no relation to your obligation to pay.
bill maher
Wow!
Think of that.
Just pause here for a moment.
What a statement.
And where else would we say that?
joe rogan
It's insane.
And we're talking about hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Hundreds of thousands.
Like as if he's supposed to conjure this up.
Like his career is supposed to magically resurrect itself in some really financially viable way.
bill maher
And since it is usually the man still who probably has more money and is paying the woman.
joe rogan
Yes.
bill maher
It's very anachronistic to how we have come to think about women as equal and strong and able to do everything we can do.
But when it comes to this, it's like, oh, we've got to take care of them.
Suddenly, they're very dependent.
joe rogan
I think it's a scam that's set up because the men in general are in control of the finances or make more money and they can extract more money from them that way.
bill maher
I don't see a lot of people turning it down.
joe rogan
Yeah, I mean, that's why the system, I think, is set up the way it's set up.
It's dark, man.
I mean, the only time it's happened the other way that I know of is Tom Arnold.
Tom Arnold got away clean.
bill maher
Sure, yes, it does happen the other way.
joe rogan
He's one for the males.
We got one on the board.
If the board was like here, it would be a fucking billion scratches on one side and four lines and the one through it and then next to it is like Tom Arnold.
bill maher
That's why I never understood the concept of marriage because when people would say, why don't you want to get married?
I'd say, why would I invite the federal and state government into my love life?
joe rogan
It's very important.
You have to have it.
Otherwise, it's not real.
If you don't get a signed piece of paper, what the fuck do you have?
bill maher
Just your feelings for that other person?
joe rogan
Not good enough.
How is she going to tell her friends?
She's got to tell her friends that he really cares.
bill maher
You've been brainwashed by...
joe rogan
No, he really cares.
You think I'm serious?
bill maher
I can see she's trained you to say the right answer.
Well, I think that's a crazy...
joe rogan
That's how scary the world is.
bill maher
I think that's a crazy backward way to look at it, that without the piece of paper, it's not real.
joe rogan
It's not real.
bill maher
Whatever you have with this someone emotionally...
That's what's real.
The paper is what's fake.
joe rogan
You shouldn't be worried about divorce because we're never getting divorced.
bill maher
I'm not worried about you.
joe rogan
I don't know what the fuck you're doing.
Like, why are you getting so upset about this, Bill?
Just sign the paper and get married.
We're going to be together forever.
I don't know what you're worried about.
Jesus Christ, you're freaking out about it.
Don't you love me?
You're freaking out about a divorce?
We're not getting divorced.
We love each other.
God, sign it!
bill maher
Sign it!
joe rogan
And then when you sign it, the darkness, clouds roll over.
bill maher
But also, humans change.
It's so funny when you could say about anything else, I'm not married to it.
Do you want that thing there?
I'm not married to it.
But with a human, the thing that's most malleable, we're like, yep, I'm going to marry it.
But for some people, it works fantastically.
joe rogan
I think in some countries, they actually have term limits.
They actually have marriage terms.
bill maher
I don't think that's a real thing.
joe rogan
I think it is.
bill maher
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah, Google it.
Some countries have like a term.
We did this before, right?
Yeah, it's real.
Some countries have like, you could get married for like seven years.
bill maher
Oh, I see.
joe rogan
And then you have to re-up.
Yeah, and you can decide at the end of it.
You're like, look, I think we're good.
Let's get out of here.
bill maher
Right.
joe rogan
Yeah.
bill maher
Well, but that's putting a level of logic into it that's probably not going to really obtain when the moment comes because by that time you're so codependent.
joe rogan
Girls are not going to tolerate that.
Let me ask you this.
How long have you been with Bill?
And he wants a fucking term limit?
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
My God, you guys are going to be together forever.
What are you doing to the fucking term limit?
Because if you stuck with Dave, I bet Dave wouldn't ask for that.
Dave's not like that.
Dave might be just a little boring.
Maybe he's not as funny.
But he's a fucking solid guy and he would have signed the contract.
You'd be fine, girl.
You'd be fine.
bill maher
It's like when agents are competing to sign you and they're like, you didn't read for that?
Oh, I could have gotten in on that.
joe rogan
As soon as there's a financial incentive with anything, things get squirrely.
bill maher
That's what I'm saying.
joe rogan
Yeah.
bill maher
But it also, you know, I remember you, it's funny you mentioned Tom Arnold.
I had him on the very first episode of Politically Incorrect, I think with Roseanne.
And they were talking about marriage and he said, the great thing about marriage is when you have a big fight and somebody says, I'm leaving, you can go, you can't, we're married.
And I got what he was saying.
Some people like that, that you have this self-imposed barrier that- Makes it more difficult.
It's like a waiting period with guns.
Or when they make you look at the sonogram when you want an abortion in some states, look at your fucking baby on the computer screen there and come back tomorrow and tell me you want to kill that kid.
You have a waiting period.
You have to cool off.
You can't just leave.
Whereas if you're not married, you can.
Unless you live together, that's more complicated, or kids are more complicated.
unidentified
The other one we got on the board is Kevin Federline.
joe rogan
We got him too.
bill maher
What do you mean?
Oh, right, Britney Spears.
joe rogan
He's Britney's baby daddy.
bill maher
Yeah.
joe rogan
He's driving a Ferrari right now on Britney's cash.
bill maher
Absolutely, absolutely.
joe rogan
Plus, he got to fuck Britney Spears, which is a double fist pump.
bill maher
Is that a good thing?
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
bill maher
He hasn't said one thing.
The whole time.
We've been here for 16 hours.
She has not said one word.
And that was the one thing that made a sound come out of Jamie.
joe rogan
She's got two things that a man enjoy.
She's hot and she's crazy.
She's probably fantastic in bed.
bill maher
Is Britney...
joe rogan
But still hot?
There was a photo of her recently on Instagram.
She still looks hot as fuck.
bill maher
I thought she...
joe rogan
Yeah, she was in a bikini.
Think she fell apart?
bill maher
Okay.
joe rogan
She might be.
I've never seen her in real life.
You don't know until you see him, right?
bill maher
Right.
I mean, I... I didn't...
Yeah, I guess I haven't...
joe rogan
That's her right now.
bill maher
I haven't...
That's her right now?
joe rogan
Yep.
bill maher
Well, that's a lot of...
unidentified
Right now.
joe rogan
No makeup, no filter.
bill maher
I was going to say, that's a lot of...
joe rogan
Look at that picture right there.
bill maher
That's a lot of...
joe rogan
Oh, that one looks crazy as fuck.
bill maher
She got some crazy videos recently.
I do not find...
joe rogan
Oh, she's crazy as fuck, man.
bill maher
But that one right there that we're saying is so great...
joe rogan
Upper left?
bill maher
No, no.
The one in the middle.
I do not...
joe rogan
Oh, listen, if it's 2 o'clock in the morning and you're both drunk, that's what you want.
bill maher
Well, I'm never drunk anymore, and now I go to bed at midnight, which is quite a...
unidentified
She's talking to your door.
Bill, wake up!
It's Brittany!
I'm here to fight!
bill maher
And my dad's here with me because he has to be wherever I go.
I see that controversy.
joe rogan
Well, she's like 36 years old now, too.
Do you think she still has to do that?
bill maher
Well, she does.
There's a whole free Britney movement from people who have nothing better to do with their time.
And there's no more issues.
Of all the issues in the country that you could adopt as something to care about.
But people are saying...
Because, yes, she still is under that...
Order that her father has to run her life because remember when she went nuts?
joe rogan
Yeah, she went crazy.
bill maher
Yeah.
joe rogan
I think she's probably always crazy.
She just expressed it in a way that made people concerned.
bill maher
And also I think she's a sweet southern girl who show business will make you crazy.
unidentified
For sure.
bill maher
I mean, the paparazzi chased her like they chased Lady Diana.
She couldn't leave her house.
joe rogan
Yeah, that level of fame is almost unmanageable for anybody.
unidentified
It is.
joe rogan
What we saw Elvis go through or Michael Jackson go through or any...
bill maher
Right.
joe rogan
You get to that super pop star level.
bill maher
No one can handle it.
Yes, there is a point where it's...
Fame, I think we know, is terrific mostly unless it gets to that point, right?
I mean, when it's the people trying to help you, when other people are just looking out like, you know...
Salespeople and people at airline counters and people who just look at you like, what the fuck do you want?
Oh, I don't know, just for you to do your job.
But if they recognize you, then suddenly you get a smile.
I always say being famous is like living in a small southern town, you know, in the 50s.
Hello, how you doing?
It's so good to see you.
You know, people are just friendly in a way that they aren't anymore in big cities.
joe rogan
Well, you know where they're still friendly like that?
Dallas, Texas.
Dallas, Texas is crazy.
bill maher
All the South is still a friendlier place.
I love playing the South.
I'm always in the South.
joe rogan
I never considered Texas the South.
It's kind of its own thing.
It's sort of the South, but it's the West as much as it is the South.
bill maher
It's everything.
It's a world.
joe rogan
Because we're the South.
bill maher
What?
joe rogan
We're the South.
If you look at the South of the country.
bill maher
Well, we're the West.
joe rogan
Southern California.
We're the West, but we're also the South.
Texas is a weird thing.
bill maher
Well, but we know what we mean when we're talking about the South.
joe rogan
We're talking about the Southeast.
bill maher
Old Dixie.
Yes.
But Texas is so big.
Austin, to me, is not Texan enough.
I might as well be in New York, you know?
joe rogan
It's more like San Francisco, like a slice of San Francisco thrust into the middle of Texas.
unidentified
Yes, it's too liberal.
bill maher
Yes, I do.
I want the...
joe rogan
You want a real barbecue?
unidentified
Yes!
bill maher
Well, not barbecue, but I like that Texas flavor.
Houston, I love.
I always had a better...
Back when I used to go out after a show, always had a better time in the South than the North.
Much rather party in Houston than...
I don't know, Boston, which is a beautiful city, and I love it, and I love performing there.
But I never found the party, but you can't miss it in Houston.
joe rogan
Yeah.
They're a little more jovial.
bill maher
Jovial.
joe rogan
It's interesting how we think of the South, too.
Arizona's not the South, but it's fucking for sure the South.
I mean, it's bordering Mexico.
bill maher
Yes.
Well, Arizona...
Yeah, I mean, they're bringing up the rear a little bit.
joe rogan
That's a strange spot.
bill maher
Certain civilization-wise, you know, there's some very conservative, I mean, it's the conservative bastion.
I mean, this is Barry Goldwater country, and there's Sheriff Joe Arpaio, you know, I mean, there's some real, real cavemen in Arizona.
joe rogan
What's an open carry state?
bill maher
Yeah, but when you stick to cities, which we do, you know, we're not playing theaters in the sticks.
It doesn't matter what state you're in.
You're always going to be and get a liberal audience.
Look at the election map every year.
There's a lot of red, but any place there's a city, it's a blue dot, especially if they have a college town.
I played Birmingham, Alabama.
It looks like any place else, at least the crowd coming to my show.
I think it was Birmingham.
It was somewhere in Alabama.
It must have been either Birmingham or Mobile.
And there was a bass fishing thing.
Contest or award show, tournament, something going on.
Like at the same time as my show, or maybe my show was starting and it was letting out, but there was this, I was driving up to theaters, long crowd of people coming to my show who looked like, dressed like anywhere else, normal.
And then on the other side of the street going the other way, a bunch of people in flannel shirts and trucker hats.
And it couldn't have been a more obvious example of two Americas.
Yeah.
But within the city of Birmingham, Alabama.
But it's still a city.
And, you know, we see that electorally, the divide.
Trump does super well among people who never left the town they were born in, rural people, people out in the sticks, and does terrible in the cities and now much more increasingly in the suburbs.
The suburbs are the swing vote.
The suburbs, last time in 2016, there was a lot of people in the suburbs who don't follow politics that closely, and they just said, boy, things suck in America.
Let's let the dog drive for a while.
Let's see what happens.
Let's let the dog drive.
Let's see what happens.
He's a businessman.
He must know how to run the economy and all this stuff.
We'll try something new.
Those people, I think, first of all, a lot of them have peeled away already.
Those are the gettable voters.
Those are the people, if the Democrats want to win, I think that they have to target.
And they already have.
But that's why it's so risky to run someone far left.
I think if you run Amy Klobuchar, as much as people say, oh, she's, you know, dull and she's this and she's that and no one's excited.
Yeah, but again, binary.
At the end of the day, when there's only two choices, Trump or her, I think it would be very hard for her to get the nomination.
I think as far as winning the election, I think she would do it fairly easily.
joe rogan
Do you think that Bernie's too left?
Do you think he's too left for a lot of people?
bill maher
For a lot of the country, yes.
joe rogan
Do you think that's real?
bill maher
But the media asks the wrong question.
The media asks, and there's a debate tonight, the media asks the wrong question, which is, what would you do?
This is a question that only makes sense if you're running for king.
The question should not be, what would you do?
The question is, what can you get through?
What can you propose that Mitch McConnell will not either block or you can override with votes?
Because that's a very different discussion.
What Bernie Sanders wants to do, we shouldn't even be talking about.
Because it's not going to happen.
joe rogan
The free education, paying back student loan debt.
bill maher
Better care for all.
joe rogan
Better care for all.
bill maher
Unless the Republicans self-deport, even if the Democrat wins the election...
There's still going to be half the country that's Republican and half the Congress is going to be Republican.
And a lot of Democrats are not for this stuff.
You know, when the Democrats took over the House in 2018, it was moderate Democrats who won their elections.
It wasn't the far left.
joe rogan
So you get four years of spinning your wheel in the mud.
bill maher
You get...
joe rogan
We're hoping to get some traction, even if he gets in.
bill maher
Again, it's what can get through Congress.
What can you get a consensus on?
What can you make possible?
Obama, when he did health care, said, yes, if we were starting from scratch...
It would make sense to go for a single-payer system.
But we're not starting from scratch.
We're starting from a system where most people already have health insurance through their employer.
It's a crazy story how that happened.
It was World War II and they couldn't raise wages because that was the law, so they had to find a way to give employers something else, so they gave them health insurance.
But that's what we have now.
And a lot of people like it or say they like it.
I don't think a lot of people like arguing with their insurance company.
But they're afraid of something worse.
And I don't blame them.
If you're going to tell me the government, and I'm a Democrat, but if you're going to tell me the government is going to smoothly handle taking over something that large, I am going to be a little skeptical.
joe rogan
Well, it should be.
They don't smoothly handle anything.
There's no evidence they smoothly handle anything other than maybe delivering the news or delivering the mail.
bill maher
Look, again, as an old-school progressive, when you go down the list of things that the progressives have accomplished, especially in my lifetime, I cheer them all.
Social Security, well, that wasn't my lifetime, but they improved it in my lifetime.
Medicare, Medicaid, these are great programs.
I mean, before Social Security, the senior poverty rate was like in the 28% or something, and then it went down below 10. It was a success.
But when you look at what the government really, what their big successes have amounted to, it's passing out money that very often they don't have.
That's what they're really good at.
Running a giant healthcare system, especially when the politicians who are proposing these systems will not, A, talk enough about, we've got to cap the gouging.
You can't pass out all this money if you're going to allow people, hospitals, pharmaceutical companies to charge anything they want, when the price of an EpiPen can go up from $12 to $1,200 overnight.
That just can't happen.
And also, they don't ask the people to lift a finger to take care of their own health.
Nobody's health care system is going to work unless people have some skin in the game.
You can't not tell the people, look, you can't keep eating as much as you want and as shitty a food as you want and expect us to cover the bill.
You just can't.
joe rogan
That is not something that anybody wants to hear, though.
bill maher
Oh, I know, because I did that editorial.
joe rogan
I know, I remember that.
People got upset at you.
bill maher
Well, here's the story.
People did not.
People loved it until James Corden said something.
joe rogan
Oh, that's right.
First of all, he did that, and in doing that, made fat jokes.
bill maher
Which I did not, by the way.
unidentified
You were talking about obesity and morbidly obese people.
bill maher
Look, first of all, he missed a great opportunity to literally save lives.
If he had taken the opposite approach, he took the easy way out.
Of course, you can always get applause for saying, oh, let's boo the mean man who's told the truth.
That's not brave.
First of all, my point was, A, that you can't solve healthcare unless you ask the people to participate in that.
That was one.
And also, we've gone to this place where we're proud of it.
We're proud of being unhealthy.
Weight Watchers had to take the name Weight and Watchers out of their title.
joe rogan
It's WW now.
bill maher
It's like, what?
unidentified
What?
bill maher
See, being fat isn't bad.
What's bad is someone pointing out that fat is bad.
But, I mean, I read the statistic in that editorial.
40,000 people a month, a month, die from obesity.
That's a crazy number.
That is a crazy number.
We have to somehow reverse this idea that we have in this country, not just about obesity, but about a lot of things, where I'm perfect the way I am.
I am just perfect the way I am.
And if you say different, you're a very bad person.
That's not a good place to be.
joe rogan
It's not healthy for anybody.
You're protecting people's emotions, but shielding them from a possible moment that might make them realize that they are eating themselves to death.
bill maher
Right.
I mean, look, I said it also in the piece.
Beauty's in the eye of the beholder.
That's fine.
Whatever you think is beautiful, that's your deal.
But health is science.
joe rogan
Yeah.
bill maher
That's science.
And when we get apoplectic when there's 50 deaths from shootings or something a month, yeah, it's very bad and we should be serious about that problem.
But 50 versus 40,000 every month?
And that's just what they're counting from...
The big ones, cancer, diabetes, and heart disease.
There's literally nothing about your health that is improved by being overweight.
So, you know, I said we shouldn't taunt people.
But, you know, compare it to anything else.
I also owned up to the fact that I used to drink too much and I smoked.
But I didn't defend it.
When someone said, you know, you went kind of hard last night with the drinking, I didn't say, how dare you drunk shame me.
joe rogan
Well, the weird thing about Corden, too, is he's not that fat.
Like, he could fix that in a couple of months.
That's not that hard.
bill maher
No, it was opportunistic.
Yes, I felt like that, too.
He literally lost an opportunity to save lives, because as someone who does struggle with weight, He could have taken the opposite approach and said, you know, Bill makes a really good point.
And we should look at how we are dealing with this.
I noticed Jillian Michaels, the fitness expert.
joe rogan
She took a lot of shit for Lizzo.
bill maher
For Lizzo.
unidentified
Yeah.
bill maher
And, you know, if you want to be whatever weight you want to be, that's fine.
But it's wrong to shame a fitness expert for saying this isn't healthy.
joe rogan
Well, it gets even crazier.
bill maher
She said it's not going to be that amazing when she gets diabetes.
joe rogan
Yeah.
And people went, nut!
Diabetes has nothing to do with weight.
bill maher
Diabetes has everything to do with it.
joe rogan
For sure it does.
bill maher
Also, they lie.
They say things like, well, it's the fat gene.
It's not that.
Or here's another one.
And look, this is valid.
It's valid that in this country, it is a lot harder to eat right if you're poor.
joe rogan
Yes.
bill maher
And we should totally address that.
I doubt if it's on any candidate's top 10 list, but the way the food situation and subsidies are done in this country is horrible.
But given that, let's not just throw up our hands and say we're the can't-do country.
And because it's harder, let's not even try.
Yes, it is harder to eat right on a budget.
But I'll tell you something, something you never need to have with your food, soda, which is a large part of it, okay?
And you'll save money.
You don't have to have soda.
You don't have to have a Snickers bar.
A banana is 19 cents.
unidentified
So it's not impossible to Adele got shit recently because she got skinny.
bill maher
Yes!
joe rogan
Because she got healthier.
bill maher
That was also a part of my thing, was fit shaming.
Not fat shaming.
People go, eat something.
Eat something.
I'm fine.
So you can feel better.
About your weight problem, I should eat and get fat, too.
joe rogan
Well, when heavy people have someone that they're a fan of that's also heavy, like James Corden, so he's heavy, he's got people in the audience that love him, and they love him standing up for other heavy people.
Yeah, we're fine!
We're fine!
He's one of us!
We're fine!
I think they felt like that with Adele.
Adele was this fantastic singer, super talented, extremely popular and overweight.
Like, yeah, it's fine.
It's fine.
I'm like Adele.
Everyone's fine.
But then she loses weight.
You feel like she's betraying you because one of the reasons why I liked you is because you're fat.
Now you're not fat anymore.
bill maher
It wasn't that long ago that we were applauding people when they lost weight.
unidentified
Yeah.
bill maher
I remember when Oprah came out that time where she was, oh, this was like in the 80s, I think.
But she had lost a whole bunch of weight.
There's a picture.
It's a very famous picture.
I think she's like in jeans and she's got a really thin waist.
And she was raising her hands in triumph and everyone was applauding.
I guess that's bad now because, again, you have to be perfect the way you are.
and if you criticize that then you're a bad person.
joe rogan
My take on this is just that there's too many voices that you hear because of social media.
You hear so many nonsense voices and they stand out just like everybody else's voice.
There's so many people just screaming into the void because there's so many social media accounts.
There's so many people that are tweeting about things and Facebooking about things and it gets people confused as if this is like a rational perspective.
And again, with these echo chambers, they're all just hop on board and support James Corden or support, you know, Adele needs to fatten back up and you'll get thousands of likes.
Everybody will go crazy.
bill maher
That's the key word.
That is what I didn't understand until about a year ago, that so many people are saying things on social media, not because they really believe it.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah.
bill maher
That's really scary.
joe rogan
That's weird.
bill maher
We had a billboard once when we were coming back on the air in January, just like now, about four or five years ago, and the tagline was, he's not in it for the likes.
And it's my favorite piece of promotion that anyone has ever done for me.
joe rogan
That's great.
bill maher
He's not in it for the likes.
Yeah.
Advertising that as, this is why you watch this show.
Yeah.
But obviously that's not the way a lot of people feel.
They are in it for the likes.
And they will take a position that they don't believe in because they know it'll get likes.
And I've heard this from people I actually respect.
And I'm like, wow, you have an addiction.
That is an addiction.
joe rogan
Addiction of likes.
bill maher
Addiction, yeah.
There is absolutely that.
joe rogan
And they calculate their posts based on the kind of response they think it's going to get.
It's not like a free expression.
It's not like they're making a post saying, how do I feel about this thing?
They're writing it down going, how are people going to react to this?
How am I going to get people to really think that I'm awesome?
How am I going to get people to really think I'm progressive?
Really think I'm an open-minded person?
The male feminist perspective.
bill maher
Right.
joe rogan
I was just talking to my friend Jimmy Dore about that, about male feminists.
That's like a wholly false perspective, and you never see it in gay guys.
There are no male feminist gay guys, because they're not trying to fuck the women.
So it's not a position they would take.
They'll support you, they'll be your friend, but this whole idea, I'm an ally.
You're trying to fuck, man!
It's so clear!
It's such an obvious perspective.
It's just such a weird, sneaky thing.
But it's a version of the same thing people are doing for likes on social media.
It's a calculated expression in order to get the kind of response you're hoping.
It's greasy.
unidentified
Right?
joe rogan
It's greasy.
bill maher
Not the word I would have thought of, but perfect.
joe rogan
Whenever I read male feminist posts, I get angry.
Not that I don't want equality for women.
You're a greasy man.
I know what you're doing.
bill maher
Do you read...
Your Twitter?
joe rogan
No.
bill maher
Me neither.
Never.
unidentified
Because...
bill maher
Why would I... Exactly.
And what I read about people, very often, who've killed themselves.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, after reading their responses.
bill maher
That...
Yeah, this is a big thing.
joe rogan
How about this guy losing his fucking job for saying retard?
bill maher
Couldn't you just...
Yeah, couldn't you just stop?
Well, he got a job with the Saints.
joe rogan
Did he?
bill maher
Oh, that's fine.
Which is a better team, yeah.
But, I mean, I've asked some people who I know, like Barry Weiss, who's a brilliant person.
And she's like, oh, it's so depressing.
It's like, don't read it.
joe rogan
Oh yeah, she came out here.
bill maher
That generation cannot stop reading, even when it's going to kill them.
I don't understand that.
joe rogan
Well, it's very impulsive, right?
You see your name and you see someone.
What did they say?
Oh, Barry, you're brilliant.
Oh, thank you.
And then you go a little further.
You fucking dumb cut.
bill maher
Died you.
joe rogan
Oh, Jesus Christ!
And then there's a bunch of them liking that response and then a bunch of people piling on.
First of all, they don't even know you're a real human.
A lot of people have never met anyone famous.
And a lot of them are 15. I always say that if I had a Twitter account when I was 15, I would have said horrible shit to famous people just to get a rise.
Just to see if I can get them to react.
It's not even things that they necessarily mean.
They don't know you.
Unless they meet you, they don't even really know you.
bill maher
But do people take it to heart so much that they kill themselves?
You know, a few of these K-pop stars...
Have killed themselves.
joe rogan
Really?
bill maher
Look that up.
joe rogan
From social media?
bill maher
Yes!
I think so.
I think that's the main reason.
Jesus Christ.
And these are, you know, pop stars.
unidentified
Yeah.
Top of the world.
bill maher
I can't imagine Bobby Sherman, you know, in 1968, reading his fan mail and going, ah, this one hates me too!
joe rogan
If Elvis had a Twitter account, hey man, who the fuck do you give a shit if Priscilla's 14?
We like each other, man.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Come on.
unidentified
What the fuck?
joe rogan
I ain't a pervert.
unidentified
Yeah.
bill maher
Fuck.
joe rogan
Well, maybe he could have used social media back then.
That's it, right?
That's the balance.
Like, you don't want Jerry Lee Lewis marrying his cousin and drowning his wives, and you also don't want Elvis fucking 14-year-olds.
Maybe it'd be better.
bill maher
I, yeah.
joe rogan
Maybe a little bit.
There's a balance to be achieved.
bill maher
I often wonder what my life would have been like as a teenager with this stuff because maybe it would have made me kill myself.
But I was painfully shy.
Couldn't really talk to a girl.
If I had been able to text them...
joe rogan
Maybe we'll be able to say some clever shit.
bill maher
Exactly.
I think I could have done really well with that.
joe rogan
I would have had a lot of dick pictures floating around.
100%.
I would have sent it to everybody.
You fucking dumb and young.
You have no idea that's going to last forever.
bill maher
I thought that was a humble brag about his dick.
unidentified
No!
joe rogan
No, it's a regular dick.
Just any old dick.
I'd send other people's dicks.
But I would just think that the whole idea about it...
bill maher
Yeah, because young boys love dick pics.
They draw it.
Yeah, they're crazy.
joe rogan
Remember that scene in...
What was the fucking movie?
Superbad.
That was one of my favorite scenes in a movie ever where he's just drawing dicks in class all day.
unidentified
Yes, exactly.
joe rogan
It's fucking hilarious.
bill maher
Yes.
Because it's so true.
joe rogan
That's so true, yeah.
Look, we got real lucky that we are not held up to the standards that kids are today.
Because everything they do today that they put online, they're going to put a lot of things online.
It's permanent, forever.
I couldn't imagine something that I said when I was 14 being permanent.
And that points me back to this thing about this football player and things that people write on Twitter.
It's something that Louis C.K. said to me recently when we were talking about this.
He said, people look at stuff when it's written down like it's different, but it's just talk.
It's talk, but it's written.
Like, people say, oh, she's a fucking bitch.
I'm tired of her shit.
And then you see her, you're like, oh, I'm sorry.
But that's talk.
But when you see it written, it's like, oh my god, did you see what he put on Twitter?
Did you see what he wrote?
You're talking to the whole world now, and you've got to realize this is a different thing, and then people get a screenshot of it.
You can never take it back.
You said it.
We're going to keep it forever.
We're going to archive it.
Look, he said it.
He said, she's a fucking bitch.
And there's no just talk anymore.
But we're wired for just talk.
People are wired for gossip and nonsense talk, especially when you're drinking.
But if you're drinking, then you get on Twitter.
You could say the dumbest shit ever, and you could tank your life.
bill maher
And people have.
joe rogan
Yeah, with Justine Sacco, that famous case.
bill maher
Yes, that was one of the first ones, the one who was on, as soon as she got off the flight.
joe rogan
Her life was upside down.
bill maher
Right.
She gets on a plane.
I mean, it's almost comical, except for her.
joe rogan
It's comical.
bill maher
You know, she gets on a plane and tweets that she thinks something is funny, and then by the time the plane lands, her life's over.
By the way, Family Guy did a hysterical version of that, where Brian, the dog, goes...
He tweets something going into a theater and it's semi-racist.
And then by the time he comes out of the movie, his life is destroyed.
The Twitter mob is literally a mob outside his house.
joe rogan
We're not designed for permanence like that.
To be able to just express yourself loosely.
It's like if you're going to write something in a book and publish that book and you're going to carefully consider every word and then you put that book out and you go, okay, we've gone over it, we've edited it.
It's a different thing than fuck this guy.
bill maher
So what do you think should go on with Louis C.K.? You mentioned him.
joe rogan
I know more about it than most people because I've talked to Louis about it.
But what happened versus what's being portrayed is what happened.
There's a lot of stuff that's just not true.
He was never blocking anybody's door.
bill maher
And what's unfair is that he cannot say it.
If you engage and defend yourself and correct the record, then you make it worse.
So you're in this sort of purgatory where if you hear things that are not true, you also cannot say anything about it.
That's an unfair place to be.
And also, is everything a hanging offense?
My problem...
With some of the Me Too stuff, and of course, I think like every right-thinking person, it was a great thing that happened, that men have been put on notice that you're playing with five fouls, and you just can't get away with a lot of the shit you use.
joe rogan
Particularly men in positions of power in the office play.
Right.
bill maher
I mean, I think let's also extend it to the fracking industry and McDonald's and every other place in America where probably it's very prevalent.
Nobody ever hears about it.
But there is just no consistency.
Charlie Sheen, who I'm not picking on, I like him, but he got a Super Bowl commercial last year.
Well, he did way worse things than Louis C.K. Way worse.
You couldn't give Louis C.K. So people would be like, Louis C.K.'s in a Super Bowl commercial?
That is ridiculous.
Charlie Sheen.
joe rogan
Charlie Sheen has no shame.
bill maher
I know, but he held a knife to his...
Did he?
That time in Aspen, he was with the third wife or something, and I seem to remember.
But he's being sued for giving people AIDS. I mean, there's just this litany of things that are way worse than whacking off in front of people, which is not cool either, of course.
But Louis did apologize and own up to it, and I just think, where is the consistency?
unidentified
Yeah.
bill maher
And also, where is the...
Is everything a life sentence?
Louis is a horrible person forever?
Or is there some point where we used to go, yes, a person pays his debt to society in some way, and then you're allowed back.
I just feel bad for him.
I mean, I feel like...
He did weird shit that he shouldn't have done for sure.
And I think he knows that.
I know he knows that.
But what is the proper punishment?
And who decides it?
joe rogan
Well, he's definitely working again.
So all the people that are complaining and bitching about it.
bill maher
Overseas.
joe rogan
No, he's working here.
No, he's doing a lot of theaters.
He's touring again.
bill maher
Right.
Yeah, when you're selling his tickets to his fans.
joe rogan
Yeah.
bill maher
Sure.
But he certainly can't do everything he wants to do.
joe rogan
Right.
bill maher
And he can't talk to him.
joe rogan
He can still tour, but even if he wants to do a special, boy, who's going to take him up on that, right?
Who's going to jump the line?
bill maher
And maybe the proper punishment is another five years before you can have a special.
joe rogan
Oh, that's a long time.
bill maher
Well, I'm just saying.
I'm just pulling it out of my ass.
I'm just saying we need some sort of...
joe rogan
It's been more than two years now.
bill maher
Some sort of Me Too court that...
We'll hand down a fair and justified...
joe rogan
Judge Rose McGowan presiding.
How do you decide when a person has been punished enough, and what is the crime?
He's got some hilarious bits about it.
He goes, so the problem was, I like jerking off, and I don't like being alone.
He opens up with it.
And I don't want to do the rest of the material he does about it, but...
You know, he asked.
He asked, can I jerk off in front of you?
When they said yes, he did it.
It's not a good thing.
Nothing's good about any of it.
And he knows it, and I'm not defending him.
But people are portraying it as far worse than...
Like, he went up at Skank Fest in New York, and people went crazy and cheered, and I reposted the video of it.
And someone posted on Twitter, one of the rare times I looked, fuck you, Joe Rogan, he assaulted women.
I'm like, no, he didn't.
But he didn't.
You can't change what assault means.
He asked if he could jerk off in front of people, and then he did.
There's some question as to whether or not he jerked off on the phone with somebody.
I don't think that's assault either.
It's kind of creepy.
Not even kind of.
I'm sure he would say it's creepy.
But we're not talking about someone who assaulted people.
You can't just change the definitions of the word because it makes you feel better about hating someone.
bill maher
Now, I also read, but I don't know if it's true, if his management, I think, threatened women who were going to talk about this or prevented someone's career from moving because of this.
If that happened, that to me is almost worse.
joe rogan
Yes.
bill maher
That's really bad stuff.
I don't know if that's true.
And he's not allowed to talk to straighten that out.
joe rogan
Well, it's not that he's not allowed to talk.
bill maher
Well, it would make it worse.
joe rogan
He's considered talking about it a few times, and I think he decides at the end of the day, it's just better to just keep pushing ahead.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
And his new hour, apparently, I'm not advertising for it, but from everybody that I heard, it's fucking amazing.
unidentified
Because all the pain, all the craziness, he apparently has a- Talk about new material.
joe rogan
Rocking new hour.
bill maher
Talk about something to talk about.
joe rogan
Do you have to get out of here?
Because they said you've got two hours.
bill maher
It's about 10. I do, because it's like a work night for me.
joe rogan
All right, well, wrap this bad boy up.
Tell people, when's the new season air?
bill maher
Friday.
joe rogan
This Friday?
bill maher
Yeah, the 17th of January.
Same bat time, same bat channel, HBO, at 10 Eastern.
And I guess you can figure out the other time zones from that.
And we're going to go back at it again.
Plenty to talk about.
joe rogan
Plenty to talk about, always.
bill maher
Congratulations, by the way, on making this such a big stop and such an iconic place.
You did good.
joe rogan
Thank you.
Thank you.
I don't know what the fuck happened.
Stumbled into it.
bill maher
Will you do my show?
unidentified
Sure.
bill maher
Okay, I asked you before and you were very squirrely about it.
joe rogan
There's so many people.
They're all talking over each other for sound bites.
bill maher
You know, I heard you say that once when you were laughing at some guy doing a terrible impression of me.
And it's a very...
joe rogan
Kyle Kalinsky?
He does a great impression of you.
unidentified
Yeah.
bill maher
I didn't know who he was.
joe rogan
Have you ever seen the face swap version that he does of you on Instagram?
bill maher
No.
joe rogan
Find that before we leave.
What's that?
Did I say Kalinske?
Sorry.
bill maher
Sorry, Kyle.
We don't have to look at this.
I'm leaving.
joe rogan
It's amazing.
bill maher
To you, it was amazing.
People have done me and I can laugh at it.
joe rogan
He's your face.
He's got your face and he's doing an impression of you.
bill maher
You've never seen this?
I saw what...
Anyway...
joe rogan
Doesn't matter.
bill maher
Yeah, it doesn't matter.
The point was...
What was the point?
joe rogan
The point was there's not too many people talking over each other on your show.
bill maher
Correct.
joe rogan
It feels like it is to me.
It's very difficult to have a conversation when there's so many different people talking.
bill maher
That's such a fundamental criticism of my show.
joe rogan
It's not your show.
It's just that format.
That's the size of the group of people.
bill maher
I think you're thinking of Politically Incorrect was that way.
joe rogan
No, I'm thinking of your show right now.
bill maher
Well, I'm there every week, and I monitor it pretty closely.
Of course, when you have a panel, which we do, there can be those moments, but we don't book that kind of person and that kind of show.
It's not the old, let's get them fighting thing.
We don't want that, and...
Honestly, the number of times when people have been shouting over each other and you can't hear them is very little.
joe rogan
It's not even that they're shouting over each other.
If you have a point and you want to talk about something, you've got to let it roll around inside your head.
bill maher
But you would be the mid-show guest to my left and it would be a one-on-one.
You know, I do a one-on-one twice in the show.
Have you seen the show?
unidentified
Yes.
bill maher
Okay.
In the middle of the show, I bring out more of a celebrity, usually, to my left.
joe rogan
I watched the one where Sam Harris started going at it with Ben Affleck because of that.
Sam was your one-on-one.
bill maher
That's right.
Okay.
Well, that's...
You know, you picked the one example...
Where somebody, that's what you were talking about?
I think he's seen one show.
joe rogan
No, I've seen several.
I saw the one with Milo.
I've seen Jordan Peterson.
I've seen many, many shows.
bill maher
We've done over 500. When Hitchens went after...
I don't demand that anyone be a fan.
I just like Honesty.
joe rogan
One of my favorite ones was when Christopher Hitchens went after Mos Def.
bill maher
Well, he's been dead for like 10 years.
So once again, we're establishing...
Your knowledge of this show is very limited.
I've watched a bunch of episodes.
You don't have to watch any.
unidentified
I don't need you.
joe rogan
But I have.
bill maher
I have lots of fans.
I don't need one more.
What I'm saying is I'd like you to do it because I think you'd be good and I like listening to you.
And you'd be to my left, one-on-one.
There would be nobody shouting over you because they wouldn't be involved.
joe rogan
Okay.
bill maher
So you wouldn't have that problem.
So will you do it?
joe rogan
Yes.
bill maher
Great.
Alright.
unidentified
Talk to me anyway.
Shit.
bill maher
And then we'll work on Hawaii.
joe rogan
Alright.
Bill Maher, ladies and gentlemen.
bill maher
Thank you.
joe rogan
Thank you.
Appreciate you being here, man.
bill maher
Yeah.
Real fun.
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