Dec. 13, 2019 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:48:47
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| three two one boom check out this new richard prior plastic cell come on live on the sunset strip iconic that was uh really the first thing that i ever saw that made me truly understand the power of stand-up comedy i was 13 years old i think maybe 14. my parents went uh took me to see it and uh we were in the audience I remember thinking, how is this guy so funny just talking? | ||
| How is this possible? | ||
| I was thinking all the movies that I'd seen that were really funny. | ||
| I don't remember what was out back then. | ||
| Maybe Stripes, which was a great movie that I loved. | ||
| So funny, so funny. | ||
| But this guy was way funnier. | ||
| And all he was doing was talking. | ||
| And I couldn't believe it. | ||
| I remember there was a moment in the movie where he was killing. | ||
| And I just turned and looked at the people in the audience. | ||
| And people were just... | ||
| Flailing up and down. | ||
| The whole body was laughing. | ||
| They were throwing their bodies around. | ||
| I was like, this is incredible. | ||
| I've never seen anything like this. | ||
| Super powerful. | ||
| Dude, it hit me hard. | ||
| It wasn't like I wanted to be a comic right then and there. | ||
| I really didn't want to be a comic for another eight years. | ||
| But fuck, that was crazy. | ||
| What were those things on back in the day? | ||
|
unidentified
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Movies. | |
| Go to the movie theater. | ||
| Oh, you saw that in a movie theater? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Yeah, that's why there's so many people around. | ||
|
unidentified
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Wow. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I just went to people's houses and there was a lot of people over there. | ||
| I thought maybe it was on HBO or something like that. | ||
| I thought you were talking about the audience in that crowd. | ||
| In 1981, this movie must have come out in 80 or 81. If I'm guessing correctly. | ||
| I think we might have looked this up before. | ||
| Have we? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is it 81? | ||
| I think I was 14. Might have been 82. It was recorded during 81 and 82, so released March 24th, 1982. Okay, there you go. | ||
| So, beginning of 82. So, I was probably 15 then. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| I'll never forget. | ||
| Never forget being in that audience, being a young kid. | ||
| Just looking around at all these people laughing so hard. | ||
| Who took you to that? | ||
| My parents. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| This is how good this weed is. | ||
| We just talked about who took me. | ||
| We just talked about it as a theater. | ||
| You're like, where'd you see this? | ||
| HBO? I'm like, no. | ||
| Tony's become like a crazy old man. | ||
| Where did you see it? | ||
| HBO? No, the fucking theater. | ||
| I told you the people in the theater, I was looking around. | ||
| Yeah, my parents took me. | ||
| That's so cool that they would do that. | ||
| Yeah, they're cool people. | ||
| They're hippies. | ||
| I believe that's the special where he talks about a guy named Tony from Youngstown, Ohio. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| It was either that or live. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Was that the one where they were threatening him? | ||
| I can't remember the bit exactly. | ||
| The gangster one? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those guys? | ||
| Yeah, I think that was Live in the Sunset Strip. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what the story about it is? | ||
| The story about it is that Pryor was there earlier in the week, and he didn't have good sets. | ||
| Like, the one that he filmed, he just caught magic. | ||
| You know, but that earlier in the week, you know, that guy's life was chaos. | ||
| Just chaos. | ||
| And who could he relate to? | ||
| He couldn't even call a friend that was like, you know what I mean? | ||
| You can't call Kevin Hart back then and be like, hey, how do you feel about this? | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| It's not like you can call Dave Chappelle or Eddie Murphy. | ||
| No, it was just him. | ||
| Well, he did have a conversation with Eddie Murphy when Eddie Murphy got in trouble with Richard Pryor, with Bill Cosby, rather. | ||
| It's a famous story, because Bill Cosby was telling Eddie Murphy he was too dirty. | ||
| He was telling them to clean it up while he was raping people. | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Drugging women and then giving out comedy advice. | ||
| Telling them you're too dirty. | ||
| Telling Dr. Doolittle to watch his mouth. | ||
| Well, he became Dr. Doolittle, but back then he was Eddie Murphy Raw. | ||
| This was actually before Raw, and he put it in Raw. | ||
| He put it in the conversation. | ||
| You son of a bitch. | ||
| Yeah, it was one of the opening, one of the bits in Bra. | ||
| It was Richard Pryor calling him up. | ||
| He goes, do the people laugh? | ||
| Do you get paid? | ||
|
unidentified
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Well, tell Bill to have a coconut smile and shut the fuck up. | |
| Wow. | ||
| That's what he said. | ||
| He did a Bill Cosby impression. | ||
| And by the way, people forget how good Eddie Murphy's impressions are. | ||
| They're fucking insanely good. | ||
| And his Cosby was amazing. | ||
| So he's doing this Cosby impression and then he does a prior impression. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| Is he still coming back? | ||
| Supposedly. | ||
| We can only cross our fingers. | ||
| It'd be great for everybody. | ||
| Great for everybody. | ||
| I hope he blows the fuck up. | ||
| I hope he fills Madison Square Garden and murders and they do a giant Netflix special there. | ||
| It's just ten times better than Raw. | ||
| He can do it. | ||
| Guy's still healthy. | ||
| He's still smart as a whip. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Still looks fucking great. | ||
| We went over it on the podcast the other day. | ||
| Guy is 58 years old. | ||
| Looks like he's 35. He looks amazing. | ||
| So healthy. | ||
| You think he would still, like, push it to the limit? | ||
| Or do you think he would just have, like, smart bits about common things, like life or whatever? | ||
| He would push it to the limit of who he is today. | ||
| You know, he's not this 20-year-old kid anymore. | ||
| Like, he was in Delirious. | ||
| You know, Delirious, he was really young. | ||
| I mean, I want to say he was, like, 22 or something. | ||
| How old was he when he filmed Eddie Murphy, Delirious? | ||
| We were in high school. | ||
| Okay, so I was probably 17 or 18. I might have just graduated high school. | ||
| I think I was 85 or 86. He was 22. Dude, are you crazy? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| 22 years old. | ||
| And by the way, that's his first. | ||
| He had another one right afterwards. | ||
| I mean, Raw wasn't that long afterwards. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 22. So his perspectives were of a, you know, young, wild 22-year-old dude in the 80s who's like super-duper crazy famous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, when you say, would he push it now? | ||
| Yeah, he'd push it now, but he'd push it now as 58-year-old Eddie Murphy just calling bullshit on things. | ||
| What's nonsense? | ||
| What's stupid? | ||
| And the impressions. | ||
| And I hope he has 20 minutes on Bill Cosby. | ||
| Ha, ha, ha, ha. | ||
| I hope he just opens up. | ||
|
unidentified
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When I was 22, Cosby called it. | |
| It just has a fucking epic bit. | ||
| He hosts SNL next week. | ||
| Oh, Eddie Murphy does? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Wow, so he'll do a little bit of stand-up there. | ||
| Hopefully, yeah. | ||
| 100%, he's going to do a monologue, right? | ||
| Goddamn, I bet that's going to be excellent. | ||
| Wasn't he the guy that David Spade made the falling star joke about? | ||
| No, what was the falling star joke? | ||
| I mean, maybe. | ||
| Back on SNL days, David Spade had that Hollywood Minute segment, and he made a controversial joke about Eddie, because I guess Eddie had just left SNL or something like that. | ||
| And he goes, hey everybody, look, a falling star. | ||
| I think it was Eddie Murphy. | ||
| Oh, Eddie left SNL way before that. | ||
| Way before David Spade's career. | ||
| Way before. | ||
| Dude, when I was hanging out with Phil Hartman, that was in the 80s. | ||
| Oh, it is about Eddie Murphy about that? | ||
| This David Spade joke that kept Eddie Murphy off SNL for two decades. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| So maybe it was because of his movies. | ||
| It was definitely quite a bit after he had left the show. | ||
| Because he had left the show when Delirious was out. | ||
| He said in an interview in 2011 that they said some shitty things to him a couple times after he left. | ||
| Right, but it was quite a bit after he left. | ||
| It wasn't like he just left and then David Spade came on board. | ||
| I don't think that was the timing. | ||
| I think David Spade was on way later. | ||
| By the way, look at that little boy pretending to be David Spade. | ||
| By the way, that Greta Thornburg girl, the climate girl who yelled at everybody, she's Person of the Year on Time Magazine. | ||
| Is everybody losing their fucking mind? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Wasn't she on a strike? | ||
| Look, obviously, climate change is a real thing. | ||
| Climate change is a real important thing. | ||
| Let's just get that out of the way. | ||
| All I'm saying is, what is she? | ||
| 14? | ||
| 15? | ||
| 16. No. | ||
|
unidentified
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No. | |
| No, by complaining on television, it doesn't make you the most important person of the year or the most impactful person of the year. | ||
| You just got lucky that right around the time where they were making this list, you did that thing. | ||
| They're like, let's pick Greta. | ||
| Let's pick Greta. | ||
| It'll trigger Trump. | ||
| Oh, Trump will get triggered. | ||
| You know, and apparently Donald Trump Jr. did get triggered. | ||
| He tweeted about it. | ||
| They got him! | ||
| But, yeah, but this is a fucking, if this was four months from now, you would completely forget her. | ||
| There would be some new thing. | ||
| See, she caught this wave. | ||
| I mean, did she have a good little speech there? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It made an impact. | ||
| You know how many trees had to get cut down to make all those Time magazines that they're putting out? | ||
| A lot. | ||
| A lot of trees had to die for that Time magazine. | ||
| By the way, that all could be avoided with hemp. | ||
| Far superior paper. | ||
| Way easier. | ||
| And that's what got the whole marijuana legalization process started in the first place. | ||
| It was William Randolph Hearst and his fucking newspaper company. | ||
| He didn't want to convert over to hemp paper. | ||
| That's literally what started it. | ||
| These fucks. | ||
|
unidentified
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Ugh! | |
| Greta. | ||
| Yeah, Greta with her horrible tree paper. | ||
| She should be ashamed of herself that she let Time Magazine chop down all those trees just to give her something to frame on her wall. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I mean, come on. | ||
| Person of the year. | ||
| They're going to drive her around. | ||
| She's going to be fucking polluting the air. | ||
| They're going to drive her around, fly her around. | ||
| How much extra carbon will be emitted into our atmosphere because she won woman of the year? | ||
| Or person of the year? | ||
| Kid of the year? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is this human of the year? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Person of the year. | ||
| It's so non-gender specific. | ||
| How many women have won it? | ||
| Let's guess. | ||
| How many women have won Time Magazine Person of the Year? | ||
| Do you know Trump has a fake Person of the Year framed in his house? | ||
| I think I've seen that. | ||
| We were watching Home Alone 2 the other day, the one where he's lost in New York, and there's this scene where, have you seen this, where he's walking through the hotel, he gets this fancy hotel, he has his dad's credit card, and he's lost in the hotel for a second, and he's like, hey, excuse me, sir, do you know where this is? | ||
| And it's Trump. | ||
| It's Hands up and it's just Trump way back. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| And then Trump turns around all creepy, looks at his butt. | ||
| I don't think that's what he's doing. | ||
|
unidentified
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No, I know. | |
| I'm kidding. | ||
| He's looking at him like it's a little boy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Everybody through this movie. | ||
| It's a really funny movie. | ||
| Home Alone 2 is like really well written. | ||
| My mind was blown watching the whole thing. | ||
| Such a great Christmas movie. | ||
| And there's so many great actors. | ||
| And it's an insane lineup. | ||
| Rob Schneider's actually hilarious in this one. | ||
| Those are classic movies, man. | ||
| When we were kids, those were huge. | ||
| They put it together so well. | ||
| Like, I'm looking at it now. | ||
| I guess it's the writer in me or the L.A. guy. | ||
| Like, I'm looking at movies differently now. | ||
| And I'm like, this is so beautiful how they made this coincidence happen. | ||
| Because if you do anything else, first of all, they look like horrible parents, no matter what. | ||
| First movie, too. | ||
| Terrible! | ||
| They get on a fucking plane without their son. | ||
| Like, who are you? | ||
| Right, so they really had to make this one work out, and they do such a great job with it. | ||
| He's replacing batteries, a guy, they're running, of course, still, this late family that can never have their shit together. | ||
| And he's chasing the guy, and it makes sense, because he runs into the lady taking tickets. | ||
| You know, it's back when they took physical tickets, and he runs into the ladies chasing the guy that looks like his dad, and the tickets go everywhere. | ||
| So it makes sense that he doesn't have a seat, and it makes sense that he went to the wrong gate following the wrong guy. | ||
| Like, everything makes sense. | ||
| It's beautiful that they can make comedies that way back then could rationalize a family being in a different place than their little child. | ||
| I wonder if you could do that movie today. | ||
| People would just shame you so hard. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, right. | |
| Oh, yeah, absolutely. | ||
| You'd never get a chance. | ||
| They just announced today they're remaking, not remaking, they're making a new, I guess it's a reboot for Disney Plus of Home Alone. | ||
| A whole new story, a whole new character. | ||
| You know what it should be? | ||
| It's Macaulay Culkin as a 40-year-old man trying to figure out what the fuck happened to him. | ||
| They put him on these movies when he was a little baby. | ||
| He's a cool guy. | ||
| Very nice guy. | ||
| I had him in here on the podcast. | ||
| I really enjoyed talking to him. | ||
| Very smart. | ||
| Just a very interesting little fella. | ||
| But, you know, it ain't good for anybody to do that to their kids. | ||
| Make your kids that fucking famous. | ||
| Remember how famous Macaulay Culkin was? | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| Oh my god, he was giganti. | ||
| And when you're a little boy and you're growing up giganti like that, and then all of a sudden you're this 40-year-old man where he is now. | ||
| Really nice guy. | ||
| Really cool. | ||
| Really fun to talk to. | ||
| Recommended by Kevin Smith. | ||
| Kevin Smith told me I have to have him on. | ||
| He was like, dude, you gotta talk to the guy. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| He really is. | ||
| Really interesting cat. | ||
| Just travels around the world, does whatever the fuck he wants. | ||
| Has a shitload of money, right? | ||
| From all the Home Alone movies. | ||
| But... | ||
| Doesn't spend it. | ||
| He's not going crazy. | ||
| He's not buying Ferraris. | ||
| He just does whatever he wants. | ||
| He's nothing like his character in the Home Alone days. | ||
| Well, he's a grown-up. | ||
| He's a grown-up man of leisure. | ||
| But I think out of all the people that I've ever met that are famous at a child's age, he might be the best at it. | ||
| Because I think it's an impossible task. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| And I think the only way it really works if you can handle fame is if you've developed character over your life and become an adult and we're nothing. | ||
| And understand hard work and understand the fortune that you have to be famous or to be successful in show business. | ||
| But if you grow up like that, man, all your signals are all crossed wrong. | ||
| All your wires are all fucked up. | ||
| You grow up thinking that you're super-duper important for no reason, with no work at all. | ||
| And that you can literally get whatever you want and have people get it for you. | ||
| Anytime you want. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| Like Justin Bieber. | ||
| How? | ||
| How? | ||
| How is he not going to be crazy? | ||
| How is he not going to be crazy? | ||
| You tell me. | ||
| I think he's handling it incredibly. | ||
| The idea that you're going to hold him to the same standards as this other kid who's also 24, whose dad is a football coach at the high school, and whose mom is a math teacher, and they're really in tight with their community, and he grew up going to scout camps, and... | ||
| He plays football, and he plays baseball, and he's got a bunch of friends that he grew up with, and they're all normal, and he's had a girlfriend for the past two years, but he doesn't know if he should make it serious when he goes to college. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Yeah, he's a whole different... | ||
| He's a different kind of person, man. | ||
| A kid who went to a normal high school and went to a normal college and then became 22 versus... | ||
| Poor fucking him. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Pulled out of school, so you don't have real, like, knowledge of history, can probably barely read. | ||
| Justin Bieber's, what, 23 or something? | ||
| Probably worth hundreds of millions of dollars, and probably had girls just launch themselves at him from the time that he was a little boy in a way that no one who's not Justin Bieber's ever gonna understand. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And yet we're like, look at this guy! | ||
| Such a loser! | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Get your shit together, loser. | ||
| Instead of looking at it like a child abuse case. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's almost like child abuse. | ||
| I mean, the best kind of abuse ever. | ||
| Like, cry me a river. | ||
| You got a couple hundred million dollars out of it. | ||
| Buy a therapist, bro. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I don't know if a therapist would work. | ||
| The thing about something like that is, that's the kind of development... | ||
| I sound like a psychologist. | ||
| Someone who barely went to school. | ||
| But the kind of developmental damage that happens when you don't have to go through all the normal stuff that everyone else did. | ||
| Here's the thing about one thing that UFC fighters and comics a lot of us have in common. | ||
| Is that we had shit lives growing up. | ||
| You were probably bullied. | ||
| You felt insecure. | ||
| I got into martial arts 100% because I was scared people were going to beat me up. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| I wasn't a big kid. | ||
| I didn't know a lot of people in the high school where I went to. | ||
| I just moved there. | ||
| I was like, fuck. | ||
| I'm so scared all the time. | ||
| I got to do something. | ||
| And I went to an easy high school. | ||
| Newton South was an easy high school. | ||
| They'd bust these inner city kids, though, that would fuck you up. | ||
| You've got to be real careful with that. | ||
| There were some tough people there, but the point is that... | ||
| If you don't have a motivation to work hard, whether it's to become a stand-up, whether it's to become a martial artist, or anything that you're like, I gotta get out of here, I gotta do something different, I gotta make something happen. | ||
| You gotta go through shit for that feeling to sort of emerge with enough horsepower to get you some momentum. | ||
| I can't imagine who I would be if I was famous when I was six. | ||
| It'd be such a mess. | ||
| The drugs, they just can't get. | ||
| They can't pump the serotonin out of their brain fast enough. | ||
| That's why so many of these people chase these dragons. | ||
| They also get really depressed when they don't have continual, constant success. | ||
| A lot of kids that experience an early peak And, you know, everybody loves them, and they're super used to it, and everybody's kissing their ass, and then it drops off. | ||
| And they're like, what? | ||
| What do you mean it drops off? | ||
| And they get crazy, because they want to get it back. | ||
|
unidentified
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How do I get it back? | |
| How do I get my relevance? | ||
| How do I get my this? | ||
| How do I get my that? | ||
| Like, you know, you see them get really... | ||
| Even just young people, like I was reading... | ||
| Do you remember... | ||
| Heidi and Spencer from The Hills? | ||
| Jamie does. | ||
| Jamie's into it. | ||
| He's got it on box and everything. | ||
| Well, that couple was on this reality show and they were everything for a while. | ||
| Constantly in these gossip papers. | ||
| Everybody paying attention. | ||
| And then she got a gang of plastic surgery too. | ||
| It was very unfortunate. | ||
| Because it was like public, right? | ||
| It was like many, many, many, many, many surgeries. | ||
| She was a pretty girl to begin with. | ||
| That never works out. | ||
| You know, you get a very... | ||
| I mean, look, maybe it kind of worked out with Kylie Jenner. | ||
| I'm just saying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right? | |
| It kind of did work out. | ||
| But she did a little jaw thing, right? | ||
| She did a lot of shit. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| I don't know what she did. | ||
| Something happened. | ||
| Less magic. | ||
| Less pixies. | ||
| I mean, I don't know how much she's saying she did. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's just like everything changed for the better. | ||
| I'm assuming you did something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, your nose, your face. | ||
| But the problem with that is, like, really young girls want to do that, too. | ||
| And some of them... | ||
| Some of them are hot the way they are. | ||
| They're just super hypercritical. | ||
| And everybody else at that age is super hypercritical, too. | ||
| So if your nose is, like, a little... | ||
| Bigger than maybe you think it should be, like, I gotta fix it, I gotta fix it. | ||
| But when you do something like that, especially if it's not like an egregious issue that you really do need to deal with, if you get your nose fixed, like, it looks like you got your nose fixed. | ||
| So every time someone's talking to you, they're like, you got your nose... | ||
| That's not your nose. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why does that nose not fit your face? | ||
| It doesn't fit your face because there's a ratio. | ||
| There's a specific ratio. | ||
| Like the width of your eyes, apart from your eyes, the length of your head will give you an indication of how long and what shape your nose should be. | ||
| As weird as it seems, all this shit lines up. | ||
| The Fibonacci sequence. | ||
| I think, is it the golden ratio or the Fibonacci sequence? | ||
| The same thing, kind of. | ||
| Are they the same thing? | ||
| The lips are the weirdest thing, right? | ||
| Oh, that's the weirdest for sure. | ||
| Well, there's another weird thing when people's foreheads don't move. | ||
| Like, hey, what's going on? | ||
| Are you shocked? | ||
| There's like this thing that they do. | ||
| It's like, there's no movement at all. | ||
| I don't mind the fake butts at all, though. | ||
| The more obnoxious, the better. | ||
| I'm one of those guys. | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
|
unidentified
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You like it? | |
| I love it. | ||
| You ever grab one? | ||
| No. | ||
| If you felt a frisbee inside someone's ass, do you think you would enjoy it? | ||
| I mean, I just wouldn't touch it that much. | ||
| I would just stare at it a lot. | ||
| But you would know that if you touched it, you'd feel that frisbee in there. | ||
| That half a frisbee to give it some bulk. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Is that what it feels like? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm going to grab one. | ||
| I would imagine. | ||
| There's like a wedge in there. | ||
| It's like a fucking Nerf football in there or something. | ||
| I think it's more like pudding or something like that. | ||
| Like squishy. | ||
| Listen, you know what it is? | ||
| It's a fucking sign that you're too lazy to go to the gym. | ||
| Go to the gym. | ||
| It's not hard. | ||
| Go do squats. | ||
| It's not hard. | ||
| The problem is, girls like Kim Kardashian have set the bar so high. | ||
| What's that girl's name? | ||
| Izzy Azalexia. | ||
| What's her name? | ||
| Iggy Azalea? | ||
| That one. | ||
| That girl's butt is obnoxious. | ||
| I don't even know about it. | ||
| That's outrageous. | ||
| There was a video with her dancing, and it was like watching someone in a wave pool. | ||
| It was all just wiggling back and forth. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Jamie, what do you think? | ||
| Can we see some of that? | ||
| I haven't seen this before. | ||
| We could see some wiggle. | ||
| But those girls have set the bar so high with big butts. | ||
| You have a regular nice ass. | ||
| It's not good enough anymore for a lot of these girls. | ||
| Yeah, but I need to see some wiggling. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Is that her over the years? | ||
| That's what her butt used to look like in 2013. And then she got super addicted to powerlifting, but not with her arms or her upper body at all. | ||
| It all went into her ass. | ||
| And then by 2018, she has this badonkadonk. | ||
| Look at that, though. | ||
| Isn't that beautiful? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Looks like she was experimenting with it earlier, though, right? | ||
| 2014. She's like, hmm, just a little bit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just a little bit. | |
| Pretty girl. | ||
| Big ass. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| Look at that upper right picture. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| See? | ||
| That's where it's an issue. | ||
| That's where you find out what it really is. | ||
| Not to me. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| Oh, come on. | ||
| Look at Izzy Azalea. | ||
| How do you say her name is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Iggy. | |
| Iggy. | ||
| See? | ||
| That's sad to me. | ||
| That doesn't... | ||
| You can get that butt. | ||
| You just have to do squats. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| Dude, that's so wrong. | ||
| It looks like a human head underneath there. | ||
| You know Madonna has one of them now? | ||
| Yeah, really? | ||
| No. | ||
| Madonna. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Someone pull her side. | ||
| I go, hey, look at me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| No. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| That's right. | ||
| That's Madonna you're looking at? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Pull it up. | ||
| What? | ||
| Whoa, it looks like she has a bunch of stuff in her pockets. | ||
| Might be a diaper. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| People are doing this. | ||
| You know what body dysmorphia is, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what it is, man. | ||
| It's like when a woman has double D tits and she thinks she needs ease. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I need ease. | |
| When a guy's at the gym and he's fucking 350 pounds and he thinks he looks small. | ||
| When people are anorexic, same thing. | ||
| It's body dysmorphia. | ||
| It's an issue with human beings. | ||
| We don't see ourselves the way other people see ourselves. | ||
| Thank God. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's the only thing that gets you through. | ||
| It's just, you know, people are fucking, people are vulnerable. | ||
| That's why it's so weird today, that it's so in vogue to be mean. | ||
| You know, that being mean for social justice and being mean online is like so common. | ||
| There's probably more people being mean to larger numbers of people, like just saying mean shit, than ever in history. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Has to be, right? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, there has to be because of social media, period. | ||
| Yeah, has to be. | ||
| Maybe using different words. | ||
| Well, they're just getting, they're reaching more people. | ||
| Like, how many people have an audience of 1,200 to talk to? | ||
| It's very rare in the real world. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where 1,200 people find out what your opinions are? | ||
| Yeah, you'd have to go over an intercom in like a shopping mall. | ||
| Well, the thing is, if you have 1,200 Twitter followers, do you really know those 1,200 people and how many of them are bots? | ||
| How many of them just sign up to everybody's account? | ||
| The bots on Instagram are stunning, and Jamie had a really good point. | ||
| He said they would never remove all of them, because if they did, it would diminish the number of total users they have. | ||
| I'm like, oh, I didn't even think like that. | ||
| Yeah, it's like, they're not paying for them, you know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Fuck up the incentive, bottom line. | ||
| Every time I put a post up, it's just all bots. | ||
| Bots comment. | ||
| I like to put a post up and wait like four seconds and then see how many comments. | ||
| And it's just bots. | ||
| Just don't look at my story if you don't want to masturbate and all these water emojis and eggplants and pussycats. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| That's a noise thing, right? | ||
| The bot thing is just a noise thing. | ||
| They're just trying to get you to click on their page. | ||
| Oh, this is a big one they're doing now, too. | ||
| Is my music any good? | ||
| I was just going to bring that up. | ||
| I saw that right here. | ||
| I was looking at it. | ||
| But that's not real. | ||
| No, it is. | ||
| But it's not an artist, right? | ||
| No, but there's various... | ||
| It could be as simple as someone's just trying to draw attention to an account so they could sell that account. | ||
| In some dummies, one out of a thousand people click and follow that account. | ||
| Now they've got 10,000 and they can sell it. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Yeah, but it's just... | ||
| There's never been a time like this where you've got a bunch of fake people talking, too. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| Like there's a bunch of people right now for sure that are posting on Twitter. | ||
| There's probably thousands of them right now that are doing it because they're getting paid to pretend to be a Republican who's really upset about the libs or they're being paid to pretend to be a progressive Who thinks trans people should be mandatory in every position of power. | ||
| Some of the wackier positions that people take online are most likely taken up not just from wacky people. | ||
| There's going to be wacky people for sure. | ||
| But there's also going to be a certain amount of them, I don't know what the number would be, where these people are getting paid to stir up shit online. | ||
| I mean, this is the Renee DiResta thing. | ||
| This woman was on the podcast who studied Russia and these Russian troll farms. | ||
| There's this thing called the IRA. It's the Internet Research Agency. | ||
| And they just pay people to tweet. | ||
| This is one of the things they set up. | ||
| Some of it's kind of funny. | ||
| First of all, their memes are hilarious. | ||
| They do a great job. | ||
| They make really funny memes. | ||
| And one of the things they did is they took a Texas separatism meeting. | ||
| Like Texas people who are like, we should buy our own country, those folks. | ||
| And they scheduled it at the exact same time across the street from this Muslim meeting. | ||
| So they're basically just trying to get people to fight each other. | ||
| So they have this pro-Islam group that's meeting that they completely organize. | ||
| They completely organize this anti-American group. | ||
| They completely organize women for Trump, women for Bernie. | ||
| It's like, as a white woman, I can't support Jill Stein. | ||
| Or as a black woman, how are we going to let Hillary Clinton run this country? | ||
| All Russian people just getting paid. | ||
| This is what we're doing. | ||
| Who's paying them? | ||
| The Internet Research Agency. | ||
| The idea is that they can shift. | ||
| Look, if you just stop for a moment and think, if you have a close election, like Trump and Hillary, it's a close election, right? | ||
| She wins the popular vote. | ||
| He wins the electoral college. | ||
| But it's close enough, where it's within a million people, one way or the other. | ||
| If you can get people engaged on a very specific subject, like The impeachment hearings. | ||
| You can get people engaged and get people to think, God damn it, these Dems, this is a coup. | ||
| They're trying to take over the fucking country. | ||
| And you start telling other people, and they start telling other people, and then you got this Facebook page that these folks have put up, and it's got interactions that are going on all day long. | ||
| People are arguing about it. | ||
| And if they're jumping in and chiming in, and then the pro-Trump people chime in too, and everybody gets fired up, it's... | ||
| It's like that goddamn crow and the cats. | ||
| Remember that video we played the other day? | ||
| It's 100% like this. | ||
| Think tanks that think of this stuff all day long and new strategies to do this. | ||
| New strategies to get people riled up and to get people to fight with other people. | ||
| So they'll have black lesbians for socialism meet. | ||
| And it's fake. | ||
| It's all Russian people that are just pretending to be a black lesbian who's really into socialism. | ||
| And then, you know, capitalists get on that page. | ||
| Fuck you, get a job, free market rules, libertarians, the only way to go. | ||
| And then they chime in back and forth. | ||
| And they're getting people fired up. | ||
| And the page gets all this interaction. | ||
| And sometimes they change pages. | ||
| Like one of them was like a comedy meme page. | ||
| And then it shifted over and became like a Black Lives Matter page when that seemed like to be effective. | ||
| So they already had a certain amount of people on it and they used it for something else. | ||
| It's wild shit, man. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| And we're doing it too. | ||
| Guarantee. | ||
| Guarantee some – there's some out – contracted out company that is doing that for whatever branches of the U.S. government, if not all of them. | ||
| Yeah, we don't know. | ||
| Our government's so good, we're probably the ones that make it look like the Russians are doing it in the first place. | ||
| We're probably hiring Russians, and they don't even know they're working for us. | ||
| They think they're working for Russia. | ||
| Like, why does Russia care about Black Lives Matter? | ||
| They do. | ||
| They care. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Who pays the internet research agency? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's Trump all along. | ||
| It's like a Scooby-Doo episode. | ||
| He pulls the mask. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was you! | |
| Oh! | ||
| Ha ha ha! | ||
| I would've got away with it too. | ||
| Was it for you meddling kids? | ||
| How fucking stupid was that show? | ||
| You could have, like, a little tiny girl, like an eight-year-old girl, you pull her mask off and she's an old man. | ||
| Like, hey! | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| I saw someone break down that it was really done that Shaggy and Scooby ran at the same speeds because there's a dog and a human being. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And Shaggy was a stoner. | ||
| He's not in shape. | ||
| But someone broke it down, which is also stoner-ish and ridiculous. | ||
| That's true, though. | ||
| But they're on to something. | ||
| I mean, imagine being high and watching. | ||
| Hey, man. | ||
| How the fuck is that dude running as fast as that dog? | ||
| Yeah, man! | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| What the? | ||
| They just stand up in the middle of the living room. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck? | |
| How is that dude? | ||
| This is bullshit. | ||
| I think about that stuff a lot. | ||
| The one that gets me is the Wizard of Oz in Dark Side of the Moon. | ||
| I cannot imagine what that first person. | ||
| It had to be a regular human. | ||
| They had to have just smoked pot. | ||
| There's no way you didn't just smoke pot. | ||
| It had to be Acid. | ||
| It had to last a little longer than a pot. | ||
| Wizard of Oz seems like that'd be fun. | ||
| Put that in the VCR. It had to be a VCR, because it was way back then. | ||
| It had to be a record player. | ||
| Because you had to flip it, right? | ||
| Oh my god, that's right. | ||
| How would you get past that? | ||
| Because you couldn't play a CD and go the whole way through. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| You would have to flip it. | ||
| They did two sides on an album. | ||
| How did they know how to do it right? | ||
| And does it perfectly sync? | ||
| The first time I saw it was the first time I ever did Mushrooms, and it was fucking crazy. | ||
| So there are a lot of sync moments. | ||
| It's so insane if you're sober. | ||
| And now they have it. | ||
| What's crazy is that it's such cheap mode, but now you can do it. | ||
| And I remember doing it in high school with my buddies. | ||
| We smoked pot and matched it up, and you had to start the CD on the second MGM Lion Roar. | ||
| And now all you have to do is type, you know, Wizard of Oz Dark Side, and the whole thing's matched up on YouTube. | ||
| You could be watching it on the toilet in 20 seconds. | ||
| Is there a moment in it where it doesn't match up? | ||
| I mean, there's, of course, obviously, because there's so much stuff going on. | ||
| It's the establishing beginning and, you know, start of the middle of Wizard of Oz. | ||
| But, I mean, there's just so much that sort of tonally, beat-wise, lyric-wise, there's a part where, like, you know, an us and them are like, and which one's which? | ||
| And at that point, right then, for the first time, the good witch and the bad witch. | ||
| So many things going on. | ||
| When she first cracks the door after the tornado... | ||
| You know the great gig in the sky, the one where the lady's singing like crazy, like, whoa! | ||
| That's during the tornado and the house is spinning and then the house lands and that song trickles out and when she cracks the door and you see color for the first time, the second that door cracks, and this was back then, we're stoned in 14 listening to a CD player watching a VHS and as soon as that door cracks and you see that yellow of the brick road and the color, you hear the ka-ching! | ||
| Oh, no! | ||
| And the coins drop, and it's money. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| And the little munchkins are all jumping. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I gotta see that. | |
| It's insane. | ||
| Cue up that scene. | ||
| See if you can find it. | ||
| We definitely cannot play that on the podcast. | ||
| We can't play it, but we could listen to it, right? | ||
| And comment over it? | ||
| Or no? | ||
| It won't work that way? | ||
| All right, we'll wait. | ||
| We'll wait an hour or so. | ||
| We'll do it in a little bit. | ||
| I looked up recently that some people thought they definitely tried to do this because it seems so purposeful but I read an interview with one of the guys in the band that at the time they recorded the album VHS didn't exist so they would have had to have had reels in the studio and a projection and like The amount of work to do that would have been... | ||
| When did they record the album? | ||
| 74, 75? | ||
| And to also, even if they did do that, why would they do that? | ||
| It doesn't make any sense. | ||
| They made what is one of the biggest selling albums of all time. | ||
| Dark Side of the Moon. | ||
| It's just a perfect album. | ||
| And why would they... | ||
| Oh, we have to match it up to Wizard of Oz. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense at all. | ||
| So if they did that, that would be psychotic. | ||
| It's just a crazy, crazy coincidence. | ||
| I think it's the ultimate coincidence. | ||
| It's just so many crazy things that these two epic productions would match up at all. | ||
| Yeah, it's very weird. | ||
| Do you know how long that album lasted on the Billboard charts for? | ||
| How long? | ||
| 741 weeks. | ||
| Yeah, the longest ever, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| From 1973 when it came out until 1988. Jesus Christ. | ||
| They're just selling copies. | ||
| And still. | ||
| And still. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How many albums, how many copies has it sold? | |
| I'll check and see. | ||
| Let's guess. | ||
| Let's guess before we look. | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| 35 million? | ||
| That sounds good. | ||
| I'm going to go with that. | ||
| All time? | ||
| Including online? | ||
| Those numbers become different, but yeah, sure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I'd say... | ||
| Online, you've got to jack it up further. | ||
| 1,500 plays equals one buy now. | ||
| It's just tough. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm going to go high here. | ||
| I'm going to guess 400 million. | ||
| 300 million. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Is that possible? | ||
| It's not that high. | ||
| What's the album that got sold the most? | ||
| The Eagles' Greatest Hits. | ||
| Thriller? | ||
| Better Thriller, I was to say. | ||
| So what do we got? | ||
| Certified 15x platinum in the U.S. Oh, that's 15 million. | ||
| But altogether, if I add these up, it gets close to about 22, 25. But that's in the U.S. Four and a half in the U.K., two million in France, two million in Canada, and then nothing else over 250. Australia got close to a million. | ||
| Close to a million. | ||
| Catch up, Australia. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Those numbers sound wonky. | ||
| 14 times platinum in Australia, and that's 980,000 sales. | ||
| And platinum here in America is a million. | ||
| There's no one there. | ||
| I know, but that's... | ||
| What's platinum then? | ||
| Like 100,000? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| 250,000? | ||
| If you hit 100,000 in Australia, you're doing great. | ||
| You're doing great, mate. | ||
| Weird exchange, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Congratulations. | |
| Yeah, there's only 20 million people in the entire country of Australia. | ||
| And it's the size... | ||
| Eagle's greatest hits is number one. | ||
| What does that have? | ||
| Let's guess that. | ||
| I'm going to say 42. 42 million. | ||
| I mean, we're going U.S. album sales. | ||
| No, we'll go world. | ||
| We are? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Was that global, the number you said for Darkseid? | ||
| He added all the other stuff with UK. It was 15 American, right? | ||
| Is that what it was? | ||
| I'll go 52 on the Eagles greatest hits. | ||
| 42 and 52. Let's see. | ||
| 36 million certified. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And that's worldwide? | ||
| It just says certified, so I guess. | ||
| That is so much. | ||
| So what is that money-wise? | ||
| How much do they cost each? | ||
| Ten bucks. | ||
| Average. | ||
| That's what back then? | ||
| Eh. | ||
| And kind of now, because digitally it's like a little more sometimes. | ||
| They were the first ones to sell a hundred dollar ticket too, I heard, recently. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| To sell like 1977, 75, whatever, like the price to go to see them was a hundred dollars. | ||
| In 77? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What was a hundred dollars in 77? | ||
| It's at least like a week of work. | ||
| Let's guess that. | ||
| Let's guess that. | ||
| How much do you think? | ||
| $100 in 1977 in 2019 money. | ||
| $100 in 1977. I'm going to go $650. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| I'm going to go $500. | ||
| $77? | ||
| I'm trying to find out when they did it first so I get that accurate thing. | ||
| It's around $79. | ||
| They were the first billion dollar. | ||
| Let's just try $77 because we're trying to figure it out. | ||
| How much? | ||
| What would you say? | ||
| The exchange rate? | ||
| It's not an exchange rate. | ||
| It's not another country. | ||
| Currency rate. | ||
| What's the inflation? | ||
| Inflation makes it about, according to 2016, inflation would have been about $300. | ||
| $296.05. | ||
| That's it? | ||
| That's a lot. | ||
| $396.05? | ||
| $300. | ||
| Is it $296.05? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, but in comparison to 1977, I would have thought it would have been a lot more. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that's still a lot. | ||
| They're charging 300 bucks for a ticket. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yikes! | |
| The Eagles are ballers, man. | ||
| I can't remember where I learned that they were the first band to... | ||
| They had a deal where they would... | ||
| Not only would they get the tickets and a lot of other things, but they sold... | ||
| They got part of the parking spots. | ||
| Is that with you where we found that out? | ||
| I can't remember where I was. | ||
| And somebody's like, they were like, no, we want all the parking comes to us too. | ||
| So it's basically like selling a whole other $40 ticket for each person. | ||
| And then if the place or whatever, if the arena was like, no, you can't do that. | ||
| They're like, okay, well, we're going to go to the baseball stadium then. | ||
| They're like, Uh, okay. | ||
| Like, we'll go to the football stadium. | ||
| Or we'll go to the city next to you, and everybody from your city is gonna go to that city, and you won't have, you know, a booming economy for the night. | ||
| For that night. | ||
| Or we could just do it in your arena, like we're asking. | ||
| They would just play super hardball. | ||
| And since they had all the leverage, they would just fill stadiums. | ||
| The people would be like, okay, we'll give you what you want. | ||
| The touring business is weird. | ||
| The ticket prices that get jacked. | ||
| Andrew Schultz was talking about this. | ||
| About the fee. | ||
| Say if you buy a ticket, there's a fee. | ||
| Yeah, that's crazy. | ||
| Who gets that? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| What's that fee for? | ||
| Are you lifting weights? | ||
| You carrying something? | ||
| If you're going to take my ticket, if it's a physical ticket, and you have to fly it in a fucking airplane across the country, it costs 35 cents. | ||
| I mean, think about how crazy that is. | ||
| It costs 35 cents. | ||
| Is that what it is for a stamp today? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| Let's go crazy and say it's 50 cents. | ||
| For 50 cents, someone will take a fucking letter and bring it to Alaska for you. | ||
| They'll bring it across the country. | ||
| They'll put it in Hawaii. | ||
| They'll bring your fucking letter to Hawaii for 50 cents. | ||
| I don't know if that's true. | ||
| Is it different when you send something to Hawaii? | ||
| First class U.S. mail? | ||
| Nah. | ||
| It's probably not, right? | ||
| They think they just fly it. | ||
| They fly everything, right? | ||
| Meanwhile, if you want to buy a ticket, they want 18%. | ||
| It's a convenience fee, too. | ||
| Convenience fee, they call it. | ||
| Oh, it's convenient. | ||
| So convenient, you just take my money. | ||
| Someone's just getting money for nothing. | ||
| Well, then there's the other thing, man, that's equally weird, is that people are allowed to buy tickets and then sell them at exorbitant rates. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What they do is they'll buy tickets, like you say if Kanye West is performing and the ticket says $200 on the ticket. | ||
| They buy a giant chunk of these $200 tickets and they sell them for $2,000 each. | ||
| And you can do that. | ||
| And even though he wants his tickets to be $200, now they're $2,000. | ||
| And then someone makes a shitload of money... | ||
| There's supposed to be laws about that, but like... | ||
| Well, it's weird. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's supposed to be called scalping, right? | ||
| It used to be illegal. | ||
| They used to look for people scalping when you would go to a concert. | ||
| Hey, you need tickets? | ||
| Who knows you got tickets? | ||
| And the cops would grab them, pull them over and fucking cuff them. | ||
| Like, they used to get you. | ||
| They used to get you. | ||
| Now they do it just everywhere. | ||
| It's all around it. | ||
| But now you can do it, I think, legally. | ||
| I think it's legal, and I think that these companies have found a way to do it where it's totally legal. | ||
| They just buy the tickets and then offer them for sale at a higher price. | ||
| But a lot of these guys like Live Nation, a lot of those other companies, they're trying really hard to figure out a way to stop it. | ||
| But I don't know what you can do. | ||
| Louis C.K. used to have a funny thing that he would do. | ||
| He'd make everyone pay for cash. | ||
| If you want to buy tickets to see him, at the store. | ||
| He would charge cash, and you had to buy them a couple hours before the show. | ||
| So a couple hours before the show, people would be waiting in line on Sunset to go see Louis. | ||
| Yeah, and he would limit them, right? | ||
| Yeah, and that would be his spending money. | ||
| And so he'd get a giant fucking, like a shopping bag filled with cash. | ||
| Like one of those paper bags you get at the grocery store. | ||
| He'd fill that bitch up with cash. | ||
| I don't know what he put it in. | ||
| But it's like a lot of money. | ||
| You know, he's just doing all cash. | ||
| He had a $5 billion business in the United States. | ||
| They call it reselling now and scalping. | ||
| So they've changed some laws. | ||
| There's loopholes. | ||
| Oh, loopholes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wonder whose campaign got that kickback, huh? | |
| Probably Tipper Gore or something. | ||
| Do you remember when Al Gore's wife was trying to stop rap? | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Parental advisory? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She was the one. | ||
| That was her? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Tipper Gore. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Tipper Gore sounds like she'd be a great rapper. | ||
| She's got a good rap name. | ||
| Tipper Gore. | ||
| Sounds like an old, white politician. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Tipper. | ||
| You know? | ||
| From Boston. | ||
| Golfer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Massachusetts recognizes the great Senator Tipper Gore. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| He's fat and corrupt. | ||
| He gets up there. | ||
| Big fucking gin blossoms on his face. | ||
| Hammered the night before talking shit. | ||
| That's like an Ed Kennedy or Ted Kennedy looking guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like Tipper Gore. | ||
| Doesn't sound like a lady who's trying to stop rap music. | ||
| I can picture that. | ||
| That was like a big part of her thing as the vice president's wife. | ||
| She was trying to stop and put lyrics on parental advisories on rap music. | ||
| That was back when two live crew were getting arrested. | ||
| We forget about that. | ||
| What'd they get arrested for? | ||
| Bad lyrics! | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Bad language. | ||
| Profanity, right? | ||
| Profanity, yeah, yeah. | ||
| But meanwhile, Richard Pryor could get away with it, talking. | ||
| Well, it was different, and Richard Pryor got away with it because Lenny Bruce went to jail. | ||
| But no rappers had gone to jail. | ||
| The Two Live crew, in a lot of ways, were like the Lenny Bruce of rap. | ||
| They were the ones who got punished. | ||
| And they got busted in Broward County, Florida. | ||
| Broward is like, you know, if you're doing up to anything that might be a little slimy, and you get arrested, and they bring you to get charged in Broward County, Florida, ooh, you're fucked, kid. | ||
| I see them all the time on Life PD, Broward County. | ||
| When they go to Broward County, it's a great one. | ||
| You guys ever see that show? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's unbelievable. | ||
| You keep talking about it. | ||
| You love it. | ||
| Oh, it's so great. | ||
| It makes cops look like frickin' Mr. Rogers' neighborhood. | ||
| Like, it's just amped up and they just keep it moving. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| We go now. | ||
| They make everything seem super live, even though sometimes I'll be watching a rerun, but I'll just pretend like it's live, you know? | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| What's gonna happen next? | ||
| It's weird how many cop shows there have been. | ||
| And how much we love watching, like, cops. | ||
| Like, those kind of shows? | ||
| Like, where someone's actually getting arrested? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those shows are captivating for us. | ||
| Nowadays, they've gotten famous. | ||
| Like, you know, these counties that they do it in. | ||
| So sometimes someone will get pulled over or whatever, and, like, they'll be all fucked up. | ||
| Like, oh, shit, is this live PD? What's up? | ||
| And it's always the best. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| One guy already saw, he's been on it twice. | ||
| He's like, I was on it last week! | ||
|
unidentified
|
LAUGHTER That is hilarious. | |
| Oh my god, that's so stupid. | ||
| It could happen to us. | ||
| I mean, technically it could happen to anybody. | ||
| Next thing you know, you have a camera in your face. | ||
| I mean, what are you going to do? | ||
| Yeah, what are you going to do? | ||
| If you're in one of those areas? | ||
| Well, it's just the business of making, you know, air quote, reality TV so weird. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| That's the most reality reality TV because it's not planned. | ||
| Like, you know for sure they're not talking to the perps and saying beforehand, okay, this is what I want you to do. | ||
| I want you to pretend that you're taking off and then we follow you and then you hit the brakes and I'm like, I'm just playing. | ||
| Just say that. | ||
| You would never, you know, you'd never get a criminal to do that correctly, where it wouldn't look, you know, wouldn't look fake. | ||
| But these guys, when you know they're getting arrested, you see the glassy look in their eye, you see them confused and stupid, you see them say crazy shit, you see them get pushed against a car, you see them screaming at their old lady with their shirt off, you see them. | ||
| These are real people. | ||
| That's reality TV. It might be the only reality TV there really is. | ||
| Because everything else, everyone's painfully aware of the cameras there. | ||
| The only thing that sucks about it is the cops are bad actors. | ||
| Like, most of those cops on those shows are like, well, you know, we're just doing our best here to keep the community safe. | ||
| Like, relax, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Stop with the... | ||
| Some of those guys are already getting famous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| Off the last CD. Of course. | ||
| The main guy's dating Lana Del Rey, I think. | ||
| Sticks? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sticks? | |
| Hey! | ||
| Good job, Sticks! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Good for him. | ||
| Lana Del Rey supporting our first responders. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Go out there and get it done. | ||
| Yeah, he's going to become famous. | ||
| And then it's going to be corrupt. | ||
| Just like everything else. | ||
| It's going to fall apart. | ||
| And then they're going to fake arrests. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| We were talking about Les Stroud from Bigfoot. | ||
| He sent me an email. | ||
| He said he was working with a television channel not to be named. | ||
| And he had a problem again with them trying to fix shit and fake things. | ||
| A lot of these shows that you're watching, some producer has faked stuff. | ||
| It happened with me on a show that I was on. | ||
| I had to get furious at this production company that did this show because they faked something on a show that I was on. | ||
| I was so mad when I found out that Cheaters wasn't real. | ||
| That they set up Cheaters. | ||
| Remember Cheaters? | ||
| Joey Greco? | ||
| I do remember that. | ||
| But was it real when he got stabbed? | ||
| Because he got stabbed. | ||
| That's what ended that show. | ||
| I don't know if that was real or fake. | ||
| Maybe it was set up after he got stabbed so he didn't get fucked up anymore. | ||
| Find out if that was staged. | ||
| Because if it was all staged, it was all fake. | ||
| They busted someone and someone stabbed him. | ||
| I thought it was... | ||
| You think it's fake? | ||
| Fake stabbing? | ||
| It has been suggested that the stabbing incident was staged. | ||
| Staged or fake? | ||
| It says staged. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| Would you let someone stab you on television? | ||
| How much money would they have to pay That's dangerous! | ||
| You get stabbed, man. | ||
| You could die. | ||
| I don't think they stabbed him. | ||
| I think they had red ink or red paint or, you know, fake blood. | ||
| Had him really just clench up. | ||
| Inside Edition reported, according to a paid actor, That was a fake act. | ||
| He was paid $400 to act out funny scenarios on the show. | ||
| I don't know if that was that exact stabbing. | ||
| I thought that was going to say. | ||
| I had a friend of mine back in New York that used to do those shows, like Jenny Jones and shit like that. | ||
| You know those shows? | ||
| Like Phil Donahue, like any kind of show? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, hey, we're looking for a guy who's been secretly having an affair with his brother's wife for the last year. | ||
| You know anybody? | ||
| Like, what a coincidence. | ||
| I've been secretly having an affair with my brother's wife. | ||
| They're like, oh my god, are you free on Tuesday? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And then they'd bring him in. | ||
| And they would go do that, and they would call him back. | ||
| Like, we're looking for a guy who pretended to be a police officer and would arrest people. | ||
| Do you know anybody like that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What a crazy world. | ||
| I used to be a cop. | ||
| So they would just run a scenario by him. | ||
| And everyone knew what was going on. | ||
| And so they were all covered. | ||
| He lied to them. | ||
| They didn't know. | ||
| And so he would show up and do this goofy fucking show. | ||
| And he would just act it out. | ||
| I saw him on a couple different ones. | ||
| Yeah, Springer... | ||
| Everyone thought Springer was real, too, until it got just obnoxious. | ||
| They kept running out of crazy things to do. | ||
| Springer's not real? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| No. | ||
| No? | ||
| No. | ||
| Are you kidding? | ||
| I can't tell whether you're being serious or not. | ||
| I didn't know if it was real. | ||
| Sometimes things are real. | ||
| I don't know about that on Springer. | ||
| I'm not sure, though. | ||
| I mean, some were so obnoxiously fake. | ||
| Like, these people break. | ||
| By the end, they had such bad actors. | ||
| People were laughing at themselves and stuff. | ||
| Dude, some of those shows were great, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Some of those... | ||
| There's moments on those shows... | ||
| It's hilarious that the security guard from Jerry Springer ended up with his own TV show because he got so famous for running up on stage, stopping all the fights. | ||
| Steve Wilkos. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| His show. | ||
| I love flipping those on sometimes if I'm at a hotel or something random, you know what I mean? | ||
| Just seeing what people are really watching. | ||
| The daytime insanity. | ||
| Every now and then you catch a gem. | ||
| You catch a gem of an episode. | ||
| One of those Maury Povich's, you are not the father! | ||
| And the guy's dancing and going crazy. | ||
| The best. | ||
| One of my favorite ones, I don't remember which show it was, but I was watching it with Candy Alexander. | ||
| We were in my dressing room when we were doing news radio. | ||
| We were just bored in between scenes. | ||
| We were watching TV. Because sometimes if they're setting up a scene, maybe if they're special effects or something, you might be there for fucking two hours, right? | ||
| So we're watching. | ||
| It might have even been rehearsal, I don't remember, because it was during the day. | ||
| But we're watching the show and this girl has this real slutty outfit on. | ||
| And she's got all this attitude. | ||
| And she's telling everybody she's the shit. | ||
| And y'all are just jealous. | ||
| And this one dude gets up. | ||
| And it was like one of the most calm dismantlings of a person I ever saw a guy do. | ||
| The guy got up. | ||
| And again, I don't think he's an actor. | ||
| I don't think he planned this. | ||
| He goes... | ||
| See, you could pull that off, but it's all about your attitude. | ||
| He goes, if you had some pizzazz, you could pull that off. | ||
| But your attitude stank, and that make you look nasty. | ||
| The whole place is just... | ||
| It was the timing, but your attitude stank. | ||
| And that made you look nasty. | ||
| I fucked it up. | ||
| Dude, it was one of those moments where she has this look on her face like she just got hit with a fucking Mike Tyson right hand. | ||
| Like Deontay Wilder just bombed on her. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| Those moments. | ||
| You get those moments every now and then. | ||
| If you watch a religious show, you'll get one of those moments sometimes. | ||
| Every now and then they'll just say something so ridiculous, you're like, what the fuck did you say? | ||
| Yeah, they ended up, you know, it ends up being too rhythmic sometimes at the end. | ||
| Like everybody that would walk off would always walk off on Maury to like that green room in the back right down the hallway. | ||
| There's clearly, you know, the cameras set up for access for there and everything. | ||
| It would have been more random if they stormed off another direction sometimes. | ||
| Something more believable. | ||
| Well, how about Dr. Phil, right? | ||
| Now, here's what's weird about humans and culture. | ||
| Dr. Phil has been on forever, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Here's a million guests. | ||
| One girl comes on. | ||
| She's like, catch me outside. | ||
| And she becomes a multi-millionaire. | ||
| She's huge. | ||
| She's famous. | ||
| She sells makeup. | ||
| She's got a fucking giant billboard on Sunset. | ||
| I'm going to be honest with you. | ||
| I listened to her rap album and it is good. | ||
| There you go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what I'm saying. | |
| She's hypnotizing Tony. | ||
| Remember South Park made fun of her with Cartman doing that? | ||
| And that was like 15 years? | ||
| How long ago was that? | ||
| Feels like it. | ||
| Where he was like the little girl on South Park talking shit. | ||
| He's like, fuck, I'll do what I want. | ||
| That's my hot body. | ||
| That was a long time ago. | ||
| Not that long ago. | ||
| I think she's only like 17 or something now. | ||
| I don't think we were in this studio when that was happening. | ||
| Catch me outside? | ||
| I don't think. | ||
| Yeah, no, but I mean the South Park thing predated her by a couple of years it had to. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| So was the South Park thing based on anyone in particular? | ||
| I think that he just had a lot of grit. | ||
| Like that was a typical show and she just sort of stood out in the middle of Twitter world and caught fire. | ||
| Isn't that weird though when something just takes off like that? | ||
| It's weird how memes take off. | ||
| And things like that. | ||
| What things really grab people? | ||
| Catch me outside. | ||
| Everybody's like, that's it! | ||
| You're gonna be huge! | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's huge. | |
| I do what I want. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I slaughtered five baby seals with my bare hands. | ||
| Legend. | ||
| Oh, legend show. | ||
| Legend show. | ||
| That show. | ||
| One of the greatest... | ||
| Like entertainment franchises, whether it's sports, music, films, greatest franchises ever at South Park. | ||
| No doubt about it. | ||
| They get away with so much because it's all cartoon. | ||
| So they can have people get their head chopped off. | ||
| They can get beat to death, lose arms, squirt right out of their armpits because it's so not real looking. | ||
| Like Canadians, their heads aren't even attached. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Their mouths and the top of your head. | ||
| The top of your head just floats in the air. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's so crazy that they have that for Canadians. | |
| It's so funny, but it's not even that mean. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| But it's so ridiculous that they differentiate. | ||
| Like, they're not even human. | ||
| They're just a different thing. | ||
| Their fucking heads aren't connected. | ||
| That show's so crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's insane. | |
| It's the best show ever. | ||
| And look at that. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| South Park continues to mock China. | ||
| You ever seen it yet? | ||
| You know, they removed South Park from China. | ||
| But see, you can't trick them the way they tricked the NBA. Those guys have plenty of money. | ||
| They don't need your money. | ||
| They're there to make this wild ass show. | ||
| And so if you give them a reason, like, oh, you're going to take away the China money. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's so much money! | ||
| You're not going to stop those guys by cutting off some of the money? | ||
| And they have almost everything. | ||
| They almost have an EGOT. They're one away from literally accomplishing, you know. | ||
| Yeah, they've done everything. | ||
| They've been around forever. | ||
| They've put together a play that's a musical. | ||
| They put together films. | ||
| I mean, Team America World Police is still to this day one of my all-time favorite comedies. | ||
| And then before that, the South Park movie. | ||
| Remember when the South Park movie, when the devil was gay for Saddam Hussein? | ||
| And you see big fake... | ||
| It was dicks. | ||
| You could see his dick. | ||
| Remember? | ||
| But because it was a cartoon, you're allowed to see a dick. | ||
| You're like, this is crazy. | ||
| Have you ever seen Lemmy Winks? | ||
| The episode Lemmy Winks? | ||
| Which one's that? | ||
| Favorite of all time. | ||
| It's one where Mr. Garrison wants to get fired from his jobs that I think they were just paying people or something like that. | ||
| So he's trying to get fired. | ||
| so he hired Mr. Slave to come in and try to get him fired by doing gay stuff. | ||
| Because he found out he could sue the school because if he gets fired for being a gay guy or whatever. | ||
| So eventually he has Mr. Slave come in and each, I'm pretty sure, maybe I have this mixed up, it's been a long time, but gayer and gayer stuff happens and he's not getting fired. | ||
| Eventually he has Mr. Slave shove a gerbil up his ass and all of a sudden the whole thing switches over for the most part It comes back and forth. | ||
| But it becomes an adventure of Lemmy Winks. | ||
| He has to make it out of the gay man. | ||
| But he can't go out of... | ||
| The gates have closed off for the sphincter. | ||
| And there's all these things that happen throughout this show. | ||
| It becomes an adventure piece of him. | ||
| For the gerbil trying to escape? | ||
| Yeah, because he has to go all the way up to get out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look, he has a little candle on his head. | |
| Oh my god! | ||
| He's got a headlamp! | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| What is he standing into? | ||
| Look what's in the rectum. | ||
| It's this green fluid with bubbles and chunks floating. | ||
| And that's another thing. | ||
| He's going by corpses of other gerbils on his way out. | ||
| There are those things in there. | ||
| Dude, the shit they've had Mr. Garrison do is a perfect example of how you could never do anything remotely like this on a regular show. | ||
| How about when he had a slot off with Britney Spears and he stuffed her up his ass? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
To win the slut off, he stuffs Britney Spears up his ass. | |
| He climbs on her head and shoves down until she disappears in his ass. | ||
| It's unbelievable. | ||
| And what they make these people look like, too. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Can you just pull up the scene just so Tony and I can watch it of the slut off? | ||
| It was Paris Hilton. | ||
| Oh, it was Paris Hilton. | ||
| My name is Britney Spears. | ||
| At the same time. | ||
| They've done Britney Spears. | ||
| With Britney Spears, they did the whole... | ||
| What was it? | ||
| That they kept trying to make her be better or something? | ||
| They want her to keep making albums even though they're driving her crazy. | ||
| And then by the end she shoots herself in the head or something like that. | ||
| But then they have her in the studio and she can't even make noises with her mouth because she blew her head off basically. | ||
| Oh, I didn't skip to it. | ||
| I thought this was only a small clip. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| The whore challenge. | ||
| It was a whore off. | ||
| This was season 8. That was 15 years ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It's just so important for comedy to have a show like that out there that just has no boundaries. | ||
| And Comedy Central just is smart enough. | ||
| With all the silliness that they've been accused of, they're smart enough to leave those guys the fuck alone. | ||
| Just let them keep doing it. | ||
| You've seen Six Days to Air. | ||
| Yes, it's great. | ||
| Do you remember when they had Muhammad... | ||
| Inside a bear costume, inside a van, with the van door closed, and people are still mad. | ||
| Do you remember that? | ||
| No, not exactly. | ||
| Is that actually Muhammad? | ||
| They went full. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Was this recently? | ||
| No. | ||
| Muhammad getting knocked down by Lincoln? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No one takes it further than the Muslims, though. | ||
| Like, if you even draw our guy, death. | ||
| That's right, he was in a bear costume, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If you even draw our guy, death. | |
| I don't even know where to begin with that. | ||
| Well, how about, you know who Salman Rushdie is, right? | ||
| Now, remind me. | ||
| Salman Rushdie was an author who wrote a book that wasn't even specifically about Islam. | ||
| What was it called again? | ||
| I only remember from that Seinfeld episode where George met him. | ||
| And he's like, that's Salman Rushdie! | ||
| And they're like, or Kramer did or something. | ||
| So I don't know his name either. | ||
| I don't remember the book. | ||
| No, I remember him. | ||
| I don't remember the book. | ||
| Whatever the book was, there was a fatwa put out on him. | ||
| You know, an attack on his life. | ||
| So he had to go into hiding. | ||
| And he was in hiding, like, forever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
People were mad at him for years and years and years. | |
| Satanic Verses? | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Satanic Verses. | ||
| And people were furious. | ||
| But I don't even think it mentions Muhammad in the book. | ||
| Hey, I don't get that. | ||
| Touchy. | ||
| I don't get that. | ||
| That's some weird... | ||
| That's other side of the world stuff. | ||
| Well, this is a beautiful... | ||
| It's like a bit that I used to have about Catholics. | ||
| Like, you'll never see a Catholic suicide bomber. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because none of us believe in it that much. | |
| Well, the Catholic suicide bomber would just go, you go first. | ||
| How the fuck do I know that you're gonna go? | ||
| We know there's just so much nonsense. | ||
| There's so much nonsense in Catholicism. | ||
| It doesn't have people that well. | ||
| No one's gonna kill somebody for Catholicism. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And we all know. | ||
| It's so obvious. | ||
| You go to the Vatican, you're like, oh, this is where you guys have been putting all your shit that you took from everybody. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's billions of dollars of artwork in the Vatican. | ||
| Billions. | ||
| Have you been? | ||
| No. | ||
| You should go. | ||
| It's one of those places that I tell people, it's worth it. | ||
| Food there is amazing. | ||
| What do you mean, Italian food? | ||
| No, Chinese. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don't fuck with the locals. | |
| Everybody's leisurely. | ||
| There's something nice about that. | ||
| There's something nice about that. | ||
| But it's super interesting to see all the artwork they had. | ||
| Rome is interesting in general. | ||
| In the middle of this area where the Vatican is, there's this courtyard. | ||
| They have an Egyptian obelisk. | ||
| That somehow or another they moved from Egypt. | ||
| I mean, this thing is huge. | ||
| This huge stone obelisk that's carved and somehow or another they got it and had it stand up. | ||
| It's planted in the middle of this little... | ||
| Have you seen the one in Central Park? | ||
| Is there an Egyptian one from Egypt? | ||
| It's huge. | ||
| From Egypt? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Whoa. | ||
| No shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When was that one put in? | ||
| 1881. Dude, Central Park is pretty fucking amazing. | ||
| If you're so lucky you can get an apartment that overlooks Central Park, that makes New York a totally different place. | ||
| Wow, look at that, man. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| An Egyptian obelisk put in New York in 1881. What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| There's all sorts of hieroglyphs all over it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Nobody tagged it? | ||
| No. | ||
| I've only seen it once. | ||
| Do you think they have 24-hour guards around that thing? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| But they have guards all over New York, so someone might find it quickly. | ||
| Those cameras and stuff. | ||
| I'm amazed that no one did anything to fuck with that. | ||
| That seems like a little too precious to be just out in the rain and snow. | ||
| I mean, when was that constructed? | ||
| Is that like an artifact? | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| I've looked it up before. | ||
| It was transported there for a very particular reason, but there's these little crab claws at the very bottom of it, which are interesting. | ||
| Well, the whole thing's interesting. | ||
| The whole thing's cool, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, all of the hieroglyphs on it, too. | ||
| That might be one of those things where you could never put that there today. | ||
| If you said, hey, there's this place in Egypt. | ||
| I know we can get an obelisk. | ||
| Let's just put it in the middle of Central Park. | ||
| They'd be like, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Cleopatra's Needle. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's unbelievable. | ||
| Yeah, people would be like, what? | ||
| What the fuck are you talking about, man? | ||
| No, you can't take an Egyptian artifact and just leave it in a park. | ||
| How do you take a 200-ton thing like that on a boat? | ||
| Strap it to your dick. | ||
| 200-ton granite obelisk, first shifted from vertical to horizontal, nearly crashing to the ground in the process. | ||
| Steamship. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god, they brought it on a ship. | |
| 200 tons and you're making the fucking ship. | ||
| Plus the 50-ton pedestal. | ||
| You'd be looking at everybody on that boat going, don't you eat too much, you fuck. | ||
| We're barely hanging in here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 32 horses brought it from the banks of the East River into Central Park. | ||
| 32 horses? | ||
| With railroad ramps. | ||
| I can imagine that day. | ||
| God. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| Took 112 days to move the obelisk from a quarantine station to its resting place. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| It's weird they would just keep it there. | ||
| Because again, like if you had an obelisk that you found, it was an ancient historical object, and you're like, let's just leave it in the park. | ||
| Put it in the middle of the park. | ||
| No, you can't do that, you asshole. | ||
| You have to put a fence around it. | ||
| You have to put it under glass. | ||
| This is art that was made thousands of years ago. | ||
| These people are dead. | ||
| We don't even know what they were doing. | ||
| It's just sitting there. | ||
| That is the place. | ||
| I think if I had the choice, if there was one place where I could go in a time machine and just peek for like an hour and just look around and then come back to present day, I think that would be the spot. | ||
| I'd want to see what Egypt was like when they were building the pyramids. | ||
| Like, in the middle of construction, when they're at their peak, when they're building the Great Pyramid of Giza, like, what was society like? | ||
| Like, what were the people like? | ||
| You could just be a fly on the wall, and no one knew you were there. | ||
| See, if they saw you, they'd be like, what are you doing? | ||
| What is this thing on your wrist? | ||
| Who are you? | ||
| Why do your teeth look so good? | ||
| How come you don't look deformed? | ||
| I'd be on the grassy knoll that day, JFK. Oh yeah, that's a good one too. | ||
| Would you be on the grassy knoll or would you be in the book depository? | ||
| See, if you're in the book depository, then you know that Lee Harvey Oswald isn't there. | ||
| I think he may have even been there. | ||
| I think he may have even been firing, but I don't believe that he was the only one. | ||
| I'm with you. | ||
| That's exactly what I think. | ||
| I think he could have been in on it, and maybe he didn't even fire it. | ||
| But when he said he was a patsy, The way he said it, when he got arrested and he said, I'm just a patsy, that's like a guy who knew he was going to get in trouble for something. | ||
| That's not like a regular guy. | ||
| He was not a regular guy. | ||
| They easily could have talked him into doing something fucked up and then they did something as well and blamed it all on him and they had him set up for it. | ||
| He seemed like a wacky dude. | ||
| Someone that did that and made that shot and really wanted him dead would own it. | ||
| Quite the opposite. | ||
| At that point you're not trying to not go to prison. | ||
| Well, maybe he is. | ||
| But it didn't seem like it. | ||
| He didn't seem like a guy who just shot someone. | ||
| He also didn't seem like a guy who was shocked that he was getting arrested for something. | ||
| But you could make someone a patsy back then. | ||
| That was real. | ||
| You could set someone up. | ||
| And then you hired Jack Ruby to just run up on the guy and shoot him. | ||
| And he just did it. | ||
| Now the guy's dead. | ||
| Jack Ruby drops the gun. | ||
| They put him in a nice jail cell. | ||
| I don't know if he was in a nice jail cell. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I have no idea. | |
| And then what happened to Jack Ruby? | ||
| Something happened to him, right? | ||
| Guy in jail. | ||
| Got cancer. | ||
| How much do you know about those three guys that they thought might have been it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think. | |
| Maybe that's John Goddard. | ||
| The three hobos or the three guys under the bridge? | ||
| Well, one of them was Woody Harrelson's dad. | ||
| Yeah, they were in the CIA, I read, or they thought they were, or who knows. | ||
| Look, Kennedy was not a popular guy by any stretch of the imagination with a giant chunk of the population. | ||
| Think about as many people hate Trump right now. | ||
| I don't know how many people hated Kennedy, but I know that the Bay of Pigs was a huge disaster. | ||
| A lot of military people hated him for that. | ||
| Supposedly he wanted to get rid of the NSA. Supposedly he wanted to do something about the Federal Reserve. | ||
| There was a lot of things that he wanted to do, apparently. | ||
| Maybe it was the CIA. I think it was the CIA. He was trying to disband one of those. | ||
| But he had a disdain for secrecy and secret societies. | ||
| There was a lot of these Skull and Bones type things that George W. Bush was in, or Herbert Walker Bush, rather, his dad. | ||
| Was G.W. in Skull and Bones, too? | ||
| They both were, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, all that wacky shit. | ||
| Like, what are you doing? | ||
| You fucking, you dressing up like a druid? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| Are you burning an effigy? | ||
| You know, a lot of people thought that was all fake until Alex Jones and John Ronson was with him, right? | ||
| At the... | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I don't know who was with him, actually. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I'm pretty sure. | ||
| Google that. | ||
| Make sure I'm right. | ||
| I'm pretty sure it was Ronson. | ||
| I'm pretty sure Ronson was... | ||
| I know it was. | ||
| He was talking about it. | ||
| We were talking about it on the podcast. | ||
| About, you know, like, that they couldn't believe what they found. | ||
| So this is this place, Bohemian Grove. | ||
| And the idea was that all the elites would go there and they would engage in these occult rituals. | ||
| Is this in America? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's in California. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| It's like Northern California. | ||
| And so you hear about this and you're like, what? | ||
| Like, have you heard about that? | ||
| Like, hey, there's a place. | ||
| Former presidents go, top-ranking generals and heads of state and bankers and famous artists, they go to this place and they do occult rituals. | ||
| They perform occult rituals. | ||
| Episode, or part four of The Secret Rulers of the World, directed by John Ronson. | ||
| He travels with Alex Jones, too. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| What's that, Netflix? | ||
| I don't know where you can find it at the moment. | ||
| You can definitely see it on YouTube. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, right. | |
| You can definitely see the interaction on YouTube. | ||
| So Alex films these people worshipping Molech the Owl God and doing this thing. | ||
| He completely sneaks in, just acts like he belongs there. | ||
| Just let him in. | ||
| They have a gate, a guarded gate. | ||
| Just fucking, hey, hey, how you doing? | ||
| He looks like a Republican. | ||
| They let him through. | ||
| He is there filming them. | ||
| They have an effigy, like a bunch of straw and shit that's supposed to represent a person that you're sacrificing to Molech the Owl God. | ||
| They're dressed in these crazy hoods. | ||
| They put the effigy down. | ||
| They have those loudspeakers. | ||
| They have this crazy speech they give. | ||
| It's so weird, but these are like legitimate, wealthy, famous people, politicians. | ||
| These people are like heads of banks and shit. | ||
| And they're going there, and they're dressing up. | ||
| This is real. | ||
| You hear things like that. | ||
| Well, that's nonsense, right? | ||
| That's nonsense. | ||
| That doesn't really happen. | ||
| There's not a real Bilderberg meeting. | ||
| They don't really get together and fucking pretend they're burning hookers. | ||
| They really do. | ||
| They really do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so he films this. | ||
| It's one of the first things that got me thinking about conspiracies. | ||
| As much as you can think that Alex is a wacky guy, he's certainly eccentric. | ||
| And he's not always right. | ||
| And that's part of the problem when you're being lied to left and right by so many different things. | ||
| You can get real off on things. | ||
| And he did. | ||
| It's been beaten into the ground. | ||
| But the fact is that there are a certain amount of these things out there like that. | ||
| And if it wasn't for Alex releasing that video, I think most people would think that's nonsense. | ||
| But when you see that video, you have to go, okay, what is this? | ||
| What is going on? | ||
| Are they really dressing up? | ||
| Is this really an occult ritual? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Have you ever seen it? | ||
| No. | ||
| Show a video Bohemian Grove, just so we can watch the video. | ||
| I can show the pictures and stuff, because the video that he has is really blurry. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, but let's... | ||
| Well, you'd have to hear it, too, because there's a booming loudspeaker. | ||
| But see what you can see. | ||
| It's kind of blurry, but... | ||
| I mean, it's famous, this place. | ||
| So do you think these people all work with each other? | ||
| See, he's got this hidden camera footage of these people with torches dressed up like druids going over and they're carrying the effigy and then they're going to sacrifice it and light on fire. | ||
| Dude, this is like really rich, famous, powerful people are all... | ||
| Here watching this. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Back that up so we can read what it says. | ||
| Back it up a little bit. | ||
| Yeah, but I don't want to hear it, Jamie. | ||
| I just want to see the writing. | ||
| Yeah, but can't you... | ||
| No, what I'm saying is make it so I can't hear it. | ||
| And mass rends the stones of Babylon? | ||
| What do they even say? | ||
| Play it out a little bit? | ||
| Like, look at this. | ||
| For beauty is eternal. | ||
| So they have this, and we bow to beauty everlasting. | ||
| It's a very strange shit. | ||
| So they're yelling this out. | ||
| This guy's got this on a loudspeaker. | ||
| And they're engaging in this ritual. | ||
| And then they bring over this effigy and they light it on fire. | ||
| They have a boat in the water. | ||
| It's weird, dude. | ||
| Just imagine being a guy who's worth a billion dollars, and this is what you do for fun. | ||
| You're going to get together with Mike and Harry, who runs Microsoft, and you're all going to go and pretend you're burning something. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| But did they become billionaires and then do this, or is it a chicken and the egg? | ||
| That's the question. | ||
| That's what people think about the elites. | ||
| And in some families, it is true. | ||
| I mean, if these people are all meeting up once a year to burn a stack of hay shaped like a lady, why wouldn't they invest in each other? | ||
| Of course. | ||
| They're all bankers and successful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that was the thing about Skull and Bones, is that they all had something on you. | ||
| Everyone knew something. | ||
| Because you all sucked everybody's dick and took Polaroids of it and dressed up like a munchkin. | ||
| I mean, that's what they all did. | ||
| They did some wacky shit. | ||
| They probably all got fucked. | ||
| It's hard to think what you could have had on somebody before porn search history. | ||
| They probably all fucked each other. | ||
| There probably was one guy who was like the top skull and bones guy, and he's just really into fucking dudes, and he just convinced everybody, you know what would be a crazy thing, man? | ||
| How about we have a group, super secret group, and you can't tell anybody about it. | ||
| How are we going to stop people from telling people? | ||
| I know. | ||
| We're going to film me fucking him in the ass. | ||
| And really, he's just trying to fuck these guys in the ass. | ||
| His goal was just to fuck guys in the ass. | ||
| He's like, man, this is getting harder and harder to trick these dudes. | ||
| I need to figure out a new way. | ||
| So he comes up with this super exclusive elite club. | ||
| It's called Skull and Bones. | ||
| Do you want in? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, we ought to be able to trust you. | ||
| You can trust me. | ||
| I won't tell anybody. | ||
| I don't believe you, Timmy. | ||
| Timmy, I don't believe you. | ||
| I think you would tell. | ||
| We're going to have to have something on you. | ||
| Well, I mean, what do you mean? | ||
| We're going to have to have you do something. | ||
| That you don't want to do. | ||
| And that way, if you ever say anything about us, we'll tell everybody about you. | ||
| Aww. | ||
| I mean, I really do want to be in the club. | ||
| Guaranteed, that's how it went down. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| One alpha gay dude just tricked a bunch of guys. | ||
| And if it's not skull and bones, maybe they don't do that. | ||
| But there's a group out there that does. | ||
| There's one of those groups. | ||
| One of those crazy groups that's just run by dudes just donking dudes. | ||
| Right now he's 35. He's still in college. | ||
| Everybody's like, Mike, why are you still going to school here? | ||
| Someone's got to make sure. | ||
| That's how everything starts, right? | ||
| That the Boneyard, the Bonehouse, the Bonehouse, that our ethics are true. | ||
| I'm here to uphold the strictest interpretation of the Boneyard's rules. | ||
| I don't trust you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whew. | |
| Gotta show your commitment. | ||
| Yeah, everybody bays in oil first. | ||
| It's like, why are we in oil? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| Just these weird fucking secret societies. | ||
| You ever heard the Kennedy speech about secret societies? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-uh. | |
| It's fucking creepy. | ||
| When it turns out that he eventually gets murdered, it's creepy. | ||
| Did you see The Irishman? | ||
| No. | ||
| Didn't see it. | ||
| Good? | ||
| Spoiler alert. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, it is good. | ||
| So many people told me that they hated it, that I was shocked when I watched it, and it was good. | ||
| Pull up Kennedy's speech about secret societies. | ||
| Because Kennedy had this speech about secret societies that many people speculated had to do with the CIA or had to do with... | ||
| The movie brings up an angle I didn't know is that he hired his brother to become the Attorney General and he started going after... | ||
| Yes, the mob. | ||
| Yeah, I didn't know that. | ||
| Oh yeah, he did right after they helped him get into office. | ||
| Well, here's the other thing about the Kennedys. | ||
| They were drug dealers. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Bootleggers. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| They were selling whiskey or moonshine or whatever the fuck it was. | ||
| The movie says the dad was too old at the time to get a hold of the sons. | ||
| They were trying to get old man Kennedy to tell his kids, crack the whip, get him in line, but they couldn't get to him because he was just staring out windows. | ||
| Oh, he was done already. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Listen, man, they were illegal alcohol salesmen. | ||
| They made a bunch of money selling alcohol illegally, just like a drug dealer does. | ||
| Same thing. | ||
| The fact that those folks went on to become this incredibly powerful family, and then two brothers get publicly assassinated? | ||
| Fucking A, man. | ||
| Two of them. | ||
| The fact that you can keep guys around that you know will whack somebody for you like that. | ||
| They'll be a Jack Ruby or a Sirhan Sirhan. | ||
| Just trick a guy. | ||
| Figure out what you got to say to that guy to get that guy to run up on that dude and shoot him in the stomach. | ||
| I mean, if you put a gun to somebody's head and you tell them that if they don't do this, we're going to kill you and your family, that's it. | ||
| Pretty much you got them. | ||
| Especially... | ||
| Sometimes. | ||
| You know, like in the movies when they show someone a picture of their family and they show them a picture of their house or whatever. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, I know where you live. | ||
| I know... | ||
| That's I think it's more than that I think it's guys that you can tell that they're gonna do a good thing They're gonna go out on history and they're gonna live in infamy like for their own personal gain Like you're talking about people that that are so dumb You're willing to you're gonna you're gonna lose the rest of your life Because someone's telling you to go shoot Bobby Kennedy and you're gonna do it in a restaurant in front of everybody It was a hotel That was in Chicago, right? | ||
| No, it was in L.A. We actually did Fear Factor in the very hotel where he was shot because the hotel eventually shut down. | ||
| I don't know how long after the assassination, but when we were there, they would rent it out for television shows. | ||
| It's just like a weird place, man. | ||
| You'd walk through the kitchen where he got shot. | ||
| Did he get shot in the kitchen or did they bring him into the kitchen? | ||
| Probably brought him in. | ||
| I think it was in the convention part where they were giving a speech. | ||
| Meeting hall or something. | ||
| And that guy swears that he didn't kill him. | ||
| But play that. | ||
| Play that Kennedy speech. | ||
| It's actually like a 20-minute speech. | ||
| I think this is the main highlight we're hopefully looking for. | ||
| The very word secrecy is repugnant in a free and open society. | ||
| And we are, as a people, inherently and historically opposed to secret societies, to secret oaths, and to secret proceedings. | ||
| We decided long ago that the dangers of excessive and unwarranted concealment of pertinent facts far outweighed the dangers which are cited to justify it. | ||
| Even today, there is little value in opposing the threat of a closed society by imitating its arbitrary restrictions. | ||
| Even today, there is little value in ensuring the survival of our nation. | ||
| If our traditions do not survive with it. | ||
| And there is very grave danger that an announced need for increased security will be seized upon by those anxious to expand its meaning to the very limits of official censorship and concealment. | ||
| That I do not intend to permit to the extent that it's in my control. | ||
| And no official of my administration, whether his rank is high or low, civilian or military, Should interpret my words here tonight as an excuse to censor the news, to stifle dissent, to cover up our mistakes, or to withhold from the press and the public the facts they deserve to know. | ||
| For we are opposed around the world by a monolithic and ruthless conspiracy that relies primarily on covet means for expanding its sphere of influence, on infiltration instead of invasion, on subversion instead of elections, on intimidation instead of free choice, on guerrillas by night instead of armies by day. | ||
| It is a system which has conscripted vast human and material resources into the building of a tightly knit, highly efficient machine that combines military, diplomatic, Intelligence, economic, scientific, and political operations. | ||
| Its preparations are concealed, not published. | ||
| Its mistakes are buried, not headlined. | ||
| Its dissenters are silenced, not praised. | ||
| No expenditure is questioned. | ||
| No rumor is printed. | ||
| No secret is revealed. | ||
| No president should fear public scrutiny of his program, for from that scrutiny comes understanding. | ||
| And from that understanding comes support or opposition. | ||
| And both are necessary. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| You get it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Crazy, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now, if you had just heard that if someone else was saying that instead of Kennedy, if someone else was saying those very things in front of you about how they have an open budget, their findings are all concealed, they're a tightly knit group that combines the military and science and all that, you'd be like, What? | ||
| Are you on Sam Tripoli's podcast this week? | ||
| Are you on Tinfoil Hat? | ||
| What are you doing with this wacky thought? | ||
| You wouldn't think that that would be the president. | ||
| He's talking about secret society. | ||
| He's talking about the military industrial complex. | ||
| He's talking about all the gears that are in play. | ||
| All the pieces that are in play that are making money and causing war and deciding what information people should and shouldn't have and what overreach You know, they're going to put into action. | ||
| He's foreshadowing everything. | ||
| Have you seen the... | ||
| I watched On the Plane the other day, the Dick Cheney movie with... | ||
| I haven't heard. | ||
| It's great though. | ||
| Oh, you must watch this. | ||
| What's that called? | ||
| Cheney? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Vice. | |
| Vice. | ||
| With Christian Bale. | ||
| Right? | ||
| He gained like 70 fucking pounds for it. | ||
| He's unreal in this movie. | ||
| He's great at everything he does. | ||
| He's in a whole nother gear. | ||
| He turns into this guy, man. | ||
| And it's so crazy. | ||
| He's just a guy working for Halliburton. | ||
| You know, he's running all this military stuff and has all this experience with, you know, politics. | ||
| But he's really just a business owner. | ||
| Look what he looks like. | ||
| Incredible. | ||
| He's unreal. | ||
| How many fat guys saw that movie and go, if I just lost weight, I have a Christian fucking bear. | ||
| Yeah, it could be Batman. | ||
| I got that inside of me. | ||
| I could be Batman. | ||
| I got Batman inside of me. | ||
| I mean, I got these pudgy wrists and fucked up hands, but if I just... | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I gotta see it. | ||
| He is crazy. | ||
| Is that him with or they're next to each other? | ||
| Next to each other. | ||
| Just picture next to each other. | ||
| Wow, he got fat, huh? | ||
| He went for it. | ||
| He really went for it, man. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| I mean, it really exposes... | ||
| That part of things. | ||
| He's running a massive business that makes military stuff, so us having to do stuff benefits him tremendously. | ||
| It's one of the most transparent scams that's legal in the history of the world. | ||
| Just pause and think about how crazy everybody's going on about this Trump call to Ukraine and whether or not there was enough to impeach him and all this madness. | ||
| People are going crazy about this, right? | ||
| This is the topic. | ||
| And I've heard many Democrats go, there's nothing here, folks. | ||
| You've got to back up. | ||
| This is not enough to take a guy out of office. | ||
| The Republicans are never going to vote for this. | ||
| You guys are making a big mistake here. | ||
| Now think, imagine a guy who's the vice president of the United States who is also a guy who used to be the CEO of Halliburton. | ||
| Then this guy decides to go to war under false pretenses. | ||
| They make up some shit about weapons of mass destruction. | ||
| They blow this fucking place to smithereens. | ||
| And then, Halliburton gets no-bid contracts. | ||
| I mean, this wasn't someone saying, I can do it for $3 billion, I can do it for $2.7 billion. | ||
| There wasn't any of that. | ||
| There was a no-bid contract for billions of dollars to repair the places they blow up. | ||
| And he was making money off of it. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| I think for the first year or something like that, I want to know when Dick Cheney was actually making money off of Halliburton. | ||
| I think he had abandoned his position or give up his stocks or something, but it was a while. | ||
| It was one of those things where you're like, wait, wait, wait, wait. | ||
| You just left. | ||
| You just left, and then the company you just left is now getting no-bid contracts in the billions. | ||
| Am I stupid? | ||
| Right. | ||
| How are you allowed to do this on television in front of everybody? | ||
| And the movie also shows how much of the president's ear he really had. | ||
| Because the president... | ||
| George W. needed him to win it. | ||
| He needed him to run with him to get the real Republican votes at the time. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| No one else was... | ||
| He could do what he could do. | ||
| He needed him. | ||
| He was deeply, deeply, deeply connected. | ||
| But it was also, Bush didn't want to do any of that shit. | ||
| Like, you go ahead and handle it, sir. | ||
| Yeah, that was the deal that they made. | ||
| At least in the movie, that's the deal that they made, basically. | ||
| Who plays Bush? | ||
| Someone unbelievable. | ||
| It's what's his name? | ||
| It's not Sam Rockwell. | ||
| I think it is, yeah. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Yeah, he's unreal. | ||
| I mean, this movie was so easy to watch. | ||
| It's one of those movies where halfway through it, you're like, I hope this never ends. | ||
| I hope this is long. | ||
| Who plays Bush? | ||
| Sam Rockwell? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Did you ever see the Moon movie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Just Moon? | ||
| There it is. | ||
| You see the two billboards? | ||
| Rockwell looks like Bush. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| He's got the eyebrows down. | ||
| Steve Carell destroys Donald Rumsfeld. | ||
| Oh, of course he does. | ||
| Carell's a beast, dude. | ||
| He's unreal in this. | ||
| They make Rumsfeld look like basically what he was, just a big doofus that would get out and do his own thing, and they'd have to control Rumsfeld. | ||
| You want to hear another conspiracy theory that you probably don't know that's going to blow your mind? | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| The day before 9-11, the day before the attacks, Rumsfeld... | ||
| Gave a press conference where he talked about trillions of dollars missing. | ||
| The day. | ||
| Then a plane slams into the very part of the building where they were doing the accounting. | ||
| Blows up half the fucking building of the Pentagon. | ||
| Blows up a wall. | ||
| Donald Rumsfeld Where was it? | ||
| The White House lawn? | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
| This is like 10 minutes, but it's at the Pentagon. | ||
| This is on C-SPAN. You can look it up right now. | ||
| We've got to get to the quote where he says... | ||
| He mentions $2.3 trillion in missing receipts. | ||
| He talks about his, in quotes, adversary. | ||
| But see if you can just find the quote. | ||
| I know there's YouTube videos. | ||
| What are you looking at? | ||
| They have clips on here on C-SPAN. If you just Google it, don't even do that, just go through YouTube. | ||
| I know. | ||
| You have to see it because you hear him say it and you're like, wait, what the fuck did he just say? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There you go. | ||
| Yeah, I think that's it. | ||
| right there. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
|
unidentified
|
According to some estimates, we cannot track $2.3 trillion in transactions. | |
| Okay, now, again, somebody told you that literally, like, right before 9-11 happened, they said they couldn't track $2.3 trillion. | ||
| You'd go, no, that didn't happen. | ||
| That did not happen. | ||
| But it did happen. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Yeah, so think about what Kennedy said. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Think about what you saw when you saw that Vice movie, where Dick Cheney, who was the CEO of Halliburton, becomes the vice president and gets billions of dollars in no-bid contracts. | ||
| Now think about what we just saw with Donald Rumsfeld saying they couldn't find $2.3 trillion. | ||
| I don't know where it went. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It seems like we should have had it. | ||
| We'll keep looking. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| The spot where we looked just blew up. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| What the hell? | ||
| Find out if that's true. | ||
| If it was the accounting office, because this is what I love to say it, because it sounds good, but let's make sure it's true, that that part blew up. | ||
| But either way, that he did say that, and then they did get hit by a plane a couple of days later. | ||
| It's unbelievable. | ||
| It's so crazy! | ||
| And no one talks about that trillion dollars? | ||
| No one talks about the 2.3 trillion? | ||
| 2 trillion's bigger than most countries, right? | ||
| That could build a whole other country or something. | ||
| That's 2.3 million million. | ||
| Oof. | ||
| Isn't it? | ||
| No. | ||
| A thousand trillion is a billion. | ||
| No, a thousand billion. | ||
| No, it's not even... | ||
| Yeah, a thousand billion is a trillion. | ||
| A thousand million is a billion. | ||
| Is a thousand billion a trillion? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A thousand billion is a trillion. | ||
| And it's... | ||
| It's 999 billion. | ||
| 2.3 billion trillion? | ||
| Is that really what it is? | ||
| It's 999 billion times 2. It wouldn't be billion trillion. | ||
| A couple more billions. | ||
| No. | ||
| We're so stupid. | ||
| It's 100,000 and then a million and then 10 of those is a billion, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or 100 of those. | ||
| 100 million is a billion. | ||
| It's 100. Yeah. | ||
| So each one is a hundred. | ||
| Oh shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Trillion's a whole nother three zeros. | ||
| Another three zeros. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's so much. | ||
| How would you say that? | ||
| Look how big it looks written out. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That's a million, so that's a billion. | ||
| That's a trillion. | ||
| The word billion is referred exclusively to as a million millions. | ||
| A million millions, okay. | ||
| But how many is a trillion a billion millions? | ||
| No, it's a million millions. | ||
| A trillion's a million millions. | ||
| Oh, well what's a billion? | ||
| A thousand millions. | ||
| Okay, that makes sense. | ||
| A million millions, so it's 2.3 million millions? | ||
| That seems like a lot to be missing. | ||
| And then boom, plane hits the Pentagon. | ||
| Everybody stops talking about it. | ||
| When was the last time you heard about that $2.3 trillion? | ||
| Never. | ||
| That didn't come up. | ||
| All the times we were talking about Flight 93, let's roll. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Let's roll. | ||
| That's what they said right before they went up to kick our ass. | ||
| That's why that plane hit the ground. | ||
| It didn't kill all the fine people that it was going towards the White House or whatever. | ||
| Let's fuck out of here. | ||
| In British terms, British English, which is not American English, the word billion referred exclusively to a million millions. | ||
| However, it is no longer common, and the word is now used to mean 1,000 million. | ||
| So if anybody is in another country and is confused, that's why. | ||
| It seems like if that would have gotten out... | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| 1,000 million makes sense. | ||
| Million million doesn't make sense. | ||
| It seems like if that would have gotten out, that... | ||
| That that money was missing, that the whole country could have revolted. | ||
| Like, I mean, that's, what did you do with our tax money? | ||
| That's our money, right? | ||
| But that's a way to steal $2.3 trillion. | ||
| If you stole $2.3 trillion and you want to cover it up, start a war. | ||
| I mean, boom. | ||
| Immediately. | ||
| Everybody's freaking out. | ||
| They can't believe what's going on. | ||
| I mean, that's what the tinfoil hat brigade would say. | ||
| What does this say? | ||
| MSU scholars find $21 trillion unauthorized government spending. | ||
| Oh my god, this is recent. | ||
| $21 trillion in unauthorized government spending defense department to conduct first ever audit. | ||
| Oh, they've never audited before. | ||
| Why would they audit? | ||
| They just get free money. | ||
| They're not like a regular company, right? | ||
| The defense department's not like a company. | ||
| Where, like, all the stockholders are going, hey, fuckface, what are you doing? | ||
| I got, you know, 100,000 shares of your stupid fucking company. | ||
| Your CEO's running into the ground. | ||
| No, they don't even have to audit. | ||
| They don't do shit. | ||
| They just take that cheddar. | ||
| Oh, we're missing, you know, 21 trillion, whatever, whatever. | ||
| I don't even know what that is. | ||
| It's a thousand million, billion or something. | ||
| 21. Whatever. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| It doesn't even include the last four years. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| So the last four years we've been good. | ||
| Don't pay attention to that. | ||
| Last four years we haven't misspent at all. | ||
| That's what Kennedy was talking about, literally. | ||
| Not saying that anyone, you know, I'm absolutely not saying 9-11 was an inside job. | ||
| I don't think it was. | ||
| But I am saying that when things happen and disasters take place, people capitalize on those disasters. | ||
| And if it's possible that someone was going to set something up, some sort of an attack, and they're going to do it because they were in the process of stealing something or were going to steal something, it would have to be a lot. | ||
| I'd be like, wait a minute, what are they going to do? | ||
| How much money would it be worth at the start of war? | ||
| That might be the number. | ||
| 2.3 trillion? | ||
| That might be the number. | ||
| How much would it cost to start a war if you're evil anyway? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| Would you start a war for 100 million? | ||
| Man, I can't spread that. | ||
| Thin enough. | ||
| You know, I've got to grease a lot of palms. | ||
| We're going to start a war. | ||
| Why are we starting a war? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| Well, we've got to get this fucking oil, man. | ||
| I don't know how to do it. | ||
| I'm thinking I just... | ||
| I don't like the World Trade Center. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's just... | |
| This is hilarious. | ||
| I just Googled how much have we spent in Afghanistan. | ||
| You want to guess how much that number equaled out to? | ||
| Okay, I'm going to guess. | ||
| Ever in Afghanistan? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no. | |
| This says published. | ||
| The thing I just found, which I was going off of, Congressional Budget Office, reported, report published in October 2007, said, oh, could, this isn't a potential spending. | ||
| Okay, don't give us the number, though. | ||
| This is a potential spending, then. | ||
| This is potential what they wanted to spend as of 2007. Okay. | ||
| What they wanted to spend? | ||
| Planned spending. | ||
| Well, how much did they spend? | ||
| Did they spend more or less? | ||
| I think they spent way more. | ||
| Okay, let's just guess. | ||
| What do you think the number is? | ||
| Jeez, this is a tough one. | ||
| In Afghanistan? | ||
| Only in Afghanistan? | ||
| That's what it says. | ||
| Actually, it says Iraq and Afghanistan. | ||
| I'm going to go with $113 trillion. | ||
| Whoa, that's a lot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a lot. | |
| I'm going to go with $100 billion. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| They conveniently planned on spending $2.4 trillion. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Which is a very convenient number after we lost $2.3 trillion. | ||
| But they've spent closer to like $6 trillion or so. | ||
| This is the worst. | ||
| This is like if you check somebody's accounting books and they just have stick figures with googly eyes drawn on it. | ||
| The fact is the exact same amount of money. | ||
| Like, what are the odds? | ||
| That is so crazy. | ||
| But it's not like... | ||
| We covered it up good. | ||
| They'll never... | ||
| Can you imagine that? | ||
| That that's your laundering? | ||
| That's your money laundering? | ||
| War. | ||
| It's not, but it is, right? | ||
| Like, if you are someone that makes weapons, and you have a huge contract with the Defense Department, and you have the ear of the Defense Department, and, you know, you guys play golf and shit, and you dress up like druids and burn an effigy, Worship Moloch, the owl god. | ||
| And you start talking. | ||
| And you say, hey man, what do we got to do to keep this fucking... | ||
| I got these tanks I'm making. | ||
| They are a motherfucker. | ||
| Wouldn't it be great to try them out? | ||
| You know, tell you what, I got a deal for you. | ||
| And they just walk around playing golf, talking shit. | ||
| And the next thing you know... | ||
| I mean, who has the ultimate influence in whether or not there is military action and how long that military action goes on for, right? | ||
| Because Bernie Sanders and a lot of these people and Tulsi Gabbard, a lot of these people that are running for president say that if they got up, one of the things they would do is stop these interventionalist foreign wars and this world police wars that we just go on and invade in other people's lives, that we would stop doing that. | ||
| I think that's great. | ||
| Right, but who really gets to say? | ||
| Like, who gets to say whether or not... | ||
| Like, who talks to Trump and says, let's just keep rolling into this place. | ||
| What's rolling? | ||
| There's a fucking problem over there. | ||
| ISIS. ISIS building up. | ||
| Let's bomb the fuck out of these people. | ||
| Like, who has the real ear? | ||
| I mean, is it generals? | ||
| I mean, is there any industry influence at all from weapons industries or from people who have deals with them or... | ||
| That's what Eisenhower warned about when he left office. | ||
| You've heard that, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That is one of the craziest speeches a president has ever said. | ||
| Trump says, you do have a military-industrial complex. | ||
| They do like war. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Wow. | ||
| Remember he said he tried to pull some troops out and they wouldn't let them? | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Trump said that. | ||
| Don't kid yourself, he says. | ||
| You do have a military-industrial complex. | ||
| They do like war. | ||
| You know, in Syria with the caliphate, so I wipe out 100% of the caliphate. | ||
| That doesn't mean you're not going to have these crazy people going around blowing up stores and blowing up things. | ||
| These are seriously ill people, but I wiped out 100% of the caliphate. | ||
| I said, I want to bring our troops back home. | ||
| The place went crazy. | ||
| They want to keep... | ||
| You have a problem here in Washington. | ||
| They never want to leave. | ||
| I said, you know what I'll do? | ||
| I'll leave a couple hundred soldiers behind, but if it was up to them, they'd bring thousands of soldiers in. | ||
| Someday people will explain it. | ||
| But you do have a group, and they call it the military-industrial complex. | ||
| They never want to leave. | ||
| They always want to fight. | ||
| No, I didn't want to fight. | ||
| But you do have situations like Iran. | ||
| You can't let them have nuclear weapons. | ||
| You just can't let that happen, and it goes on. | ||
| See, like, and that's, you know, that's the thing with Trump. | ||
| Nobody ever talks about, I feel like, is it's like we've been pretty much anti, you know, we haven't been swayed into as many wars as I feel like we would have been. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| I mean, who knows? | ||
| I mean, maybe yes, maybe no. | ||
| Maybe we're closer to war because of him. | ||
| Who the fuck knows? | ||
| Trump administration considers 14,000 more troops for the Middle East. | ||
| That was last week. | ||
| But he also... | ||
| Disgusting deployment. | ||
| You know, who knows, man? | ||
| Maybe they know things, too. | ||
| You know, the thing about talking to people like Jocko Willink and, you know, my friend Andy Stump and other folks that have been over there, they'll tell you. | ||
| There's some times where things build up and radicals control cities and things get really ugly and they have to have some sort of military intervention or these people keep growing and they, you know... | ||
| That's the other thing that people aren't talking about. | ||
| In Afghanistan in particular, the Afghanis are working with the soldiers against these terrorist organizations. | ||
| There's Afghanis that are helping U.S. soldiers. | ||
| It's not like all of the U.S. against all of Afghanistan. | ||
| No, they're combined against ISIS. It's just... | ||
| The whole thing is so crazy that there's these groups, these organizations that are like characters in a James Bond movie or in a comic book, right? | ||
| Think about ISIS, something like ISIS. If you had a crazy movie... | ||
| About people that, you know, had a great leader who's like the spiritual guy who lived in the mountains and, you know, that's Osama Bin Laden. | ||
| I mean, he is like a character in a movie. | ||
| He used to work for the good guys, then he switched over to the bad guys. | ||
| It's like someone in a Batman movie, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Lives in caves. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's just, all of it is weird, man. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| The whole thing about you draw Muhammad, they'll kill you. | ||
| Like how extreme the religion is and how devoted people are. | ||
| And you can't question any of it. | ||
| It's the most extreme in that regard where it doesn't allow any questioning of it. | ||
| And then, you know, people... | ||
| I can't understand that some people practice it the same way some people practice Christianity or some people practice other things. | ||
| They only believe or take part in the positive, good parts of the religion. | ||
| So there's a lot of people that are Muslims that are great people. | ||
| They're really kind, really well-educated, wonderful, thoughtful people. | ||
| They don't have nothing to do with terrorists. | ||
| And when there is some sort of terrorist activity, it makes them feel bad, that they're getting lumped in with someone who's doing horrific things. | ||
| These people that, you know, end up committing to these extreme religions, I feel like we should be dropping, like, soccer balls and Nintendo switches from airplanes to give them things to do so that they're... | ||
| Well, they're stuck. | ||
| ...believe in something. | ||
| If you're stuck in a place that's got a very rigid religious ideology and radical, and, you know, you've been radicalized since you were young... | ||
| And then you got places like Yemen, right? | ||
| Places that are getting bombed by the U.S. for fucking robots. | ||
| Planes are flying overhead. | ||
| They're gunning down wedding parties accidentally and killing people. | ||
| I mean, that happens. | ||
| It's pretty common, right? | ||
| So you're making more radicals. | ||
| Because then there's people who lost their family members to some robot flying in the sky. | ||
| Some kid is, you know, he's got an Xbox control in his hand. | ||
| And he's shooting missiles. | ||
| You know, they say those guys who are those pilots, they suffer PTSD as well. | ||
| Those pilots are weirded out by that shit. | ||
| Imagine being a drone pilot, and you're watching something that you kind of know is happening. | ||
| You definitely know it's happening, right? | ||
| You're controlling it. | ||
| You see it. | ||
| But when you hit that button, you watch those missiles shoot down Hellfire missiles. | ||
| They call them Hellfire, too, which is crazy. | ||
| Shoot down into these camps. | ||
| Shoot down into these motorcades. | ||
| You know what you just did. | ||
| And most likely, you're killing 8 out of 10 of those people who are innocent. | ||
| And because of the fact that a drone does it, we're like, eh, what are you going to do? | ||
| Like, we had a soldier, and like, hey, Tony, you've got to stop killing innocent people. | ||
| Hey, I'm a fucking killer, okay? | ||
| You sent me after those bad guys. | ||
| There's a lot of babies around. | ||
| I had to fucking let them know. | ||
| You ain't going to stop me from getting that bad guy. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| We'll put you in jail. | ||
| But if you have an Xbox controller and you're shooting Hellfire missiles into a fucking school because you think that there's a terrorist in there. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| And you know, they set them up sometimes, too. | ||
| They give bad advice or bad intel. | ||
| So they try to get someone to blow up a school or get someone to blow up a wedding party. | ||
| Like, there's a lot of fuckery involved in anything you're doing like that where they know that if you do kill people, it's actually bad press. | ||
| It's bad for you. | ||
| Public perception goes the other way. | ||
| That bad intel is something else. | ||
| They came out with another different type of World War II in color. | ||
| You ever watch World War II in color? | ||
| I still have it. | ||
| I think it's one though, right? | ||
| Isn't it one? | ||
| They just came out with a second one. | ||
| I was obsessed with one. | ||
| It's the only thing on Netflix that I've watched like five, six, seven times and they just dropped another one with a whole different footage and a whole different angles with historian interviews cut in between and everything. | ||
| All the old film. | ||
| I can't believe how many cameramen they had shooting this crazy shit back in the day. | ||
| They're on the battlefield and you can see it's a tundra. | ||
| People are free. | ||
| The soldiers are freezing. | ||
| I'm like, who's the guy filming this? | ||
| Animals. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| The actual, like, tick-tick-tick-tick. | ||
| I can't imagine how they were doing this. | ||
| Do you think they had to crank it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Probably a small handheld, like, 8mm. | ||
| And you think they cranked it while they did it? | ||
| Or did they go on mechanical? | ||
| Like, where would the battery be? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It seems like it would be right. | ||
| They'd probably have to crank it. | ||
| Don't you think? | ||
| Probably, yeah. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Isn't that what they did in the old days? | ||
| Ready, action! | ||
| Didn't they do that? | ||
| Didn't they crank it? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Am I imagining that? | ||
| Like, old cameras? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I feel like they cranked them. | ||
| Imagine that was not that long ago, man. | ||
| That's what's really weird. | ||
| This book right here, I had this author in the other day. | ||
| His name's Sam, Sam Gwynn, S.C. Gwynn. | ||
| He wrote this book, Empire of the Summer Moon. | ||
| It's fucking amazing, man. | ||
| It's about the Comanches. | ||
| And it's about the war they had through Texas and Oklahoma. | ||
| It went on forever. | ||
| The Comanches were the last holdout against the American settlers and against the soldiers. | ||
| The Comanches were the last holdouts. | ||
| They were the last truly wild tribe. | ||
| And they were running the plains for hundreds and hundreds of years with horses and shit. | ||
| But here's the thing, man. | ||
| This book, it's taken place in the mid-1800s to the late-1800s. | ||
| Which is like, that's so recently! | ||
| It's so recent! | ||
| Yeah, the giant rock from Egypt came over in 1888. Yes, came over in 1888, right? | ||
| It's probably older than that, but these people were essentially living a nomadic Stone Age life. | ||
| Everything was leather and sinew and buffalo tendons they used to make their bows and their bow strings. | ||
| They made their own bows and arrows out of wood, and the arrowheads were made out of flint. | ||
| They would chip away expertly, and they would run around following buffalo and just shoot them with bows and arrows and spear them or run them off cliffs. | ||
| They would run them off cliffs and stampedes. | ||
| They'd get to the bottom. | ||
| And there were sometimes so many bodies down in the bottom of these buffalo jumps that the rotting would cause combustion and they would blow up. | ||
| They would explode and catch fire just because there's hundreds and hundreds of dead, rotting buffalo on top of each other. | ||
| Because they can't eat that many. | ||
| Like, say if you have a tribe, you have a tribe of 150 people, and you kill 1,000 buffalo. | ||
| Like, how many of those are you going to eat? | ||
| You can't really eat all of them. | ||
| So they would just let them sit there and they would literally start massive wildfires because they would burst into flames. | ||
| I saw bison when I was driving from Salt Lake City to some other gig. | ||
| I should be clear. | ||
| I don't think they started massive wildfires. | ||
| I think they started a massive buffalo fire. | ||
| The fires of the dead bodies. | ||
| I don't know if there was like shit to burn outside of there. | ||
| There must be though, right? | ||
| Wait. | ||
| It's probably grass and stuff on the ground. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| That's where the buffalo were eating. | ||
| But it's at the bottom of a cliff. | ||
| I don't know what was down there. | ||
| But they had these areas that they would call buffalo jumps, where they would just circle them on this high and circle them on this high. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! | |
| Yell at them. | ||
| These buffalo will be like, oh, where do I go? | ||
| And they're just off the cliff. | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| And by the time you're running to the cliff, and you realize, oh my god, this is a cliff. | ||
| You try to hit the brakes, there's a thousand fat fucks behind you, pushing you off the cliff. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Imagine being the first buffalo to get really close. | ||
| He's running up to the cliff. | ||
| He's like, oh, oh, oh, shit! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, shit! | |
| He turns around. | ||
| Blah! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Blah! | |
| The dumbest fucking giant beast on earth. | ||
| The dumbest. | ||
| Elephants are smart, right? | ||
| Buffaloes are so dumb. | ||
| They're just running. | ||
| Buffaloes are like, no disrespect to the buffalo. | ||
| But they talk in the book about how they would shoot buffalo, and that everybody had disdain for how dumb the buffalo were. | ||
| I think it probably made it easy for them to almost wipe them out to the point of extinction. | ||
| But if you shoot buffalo, one goes down, and the other ones look, and they go right back to eating. | ||
| And then another one goes down, and they look, and they go back to eating. | ||
| You have to literally go out, they were saying, and yell at them to get them to move. | ||
| That's the only way you got them away from the ones you shot, because you wanted to eat the ones you shot. | ||
| So when the ones went down, they were like, get out of here! | ||
| Get the fuck out of here! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay, alright. | |
| I was gonna hang around and eat while my friends died. | ||
| Bunch of dummies. | ||
| But meanwhile, it's an amazing animal. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's like you were gonna say that God had a plan. | ||
| To provide people with the perfect animal for hunting, which wants you to be eating healthy, so I'm going to give you millions of this fucking enormous animal that doesn't move when you shoot its friends. | ||
| Literally fill the planes with these things. | ||
| People were just such cunts that they killed them all. | ||
| People were so gross because the buffaloes are so easy to kill that they just killed them all. | ||
| They would have mountains of bones, man. | ||
| There's a buffalo jump. | ||
| The bonfire shelter is what it's called. | ||
| It had two big events in history where it happened here. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So, they call it the bonfire because all that blackened shit apparently was because of the fires from the buffaloes hitting and bursting into flames. | ||
| And some of those buffalo jumps, they say to this day, you can find arrowheads if you go wandering around the area because, you know, it's so populated by... | ||
| Native Americans at the time. | ||
| But the Comanches? | ||
| Dude, I think this is... | ||
| Is this Buffalo Jump in Montana? | ||
| I was just looking up. | ||
| This one's in Texas. | ||
| Oh, in Texas. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So Texas was the Comanches. | ||
| There's other Native American tribes there, too, but a lot of it was the Comanches, which is in this book. | ||
| A lot of this book takes place in Texas. | ||
| It's fucking amazing, dude. | ||
| And so scary. | ||
| There's these buffaloes falling down, hitting a rock. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| Look at that. | ||
| A large rock shelter was a scene of a series of prehistoric buffalo jumps. | ||
| Native American hunters ingeniously stampeded herds of bison over the edge of a cliff, overhanging the shelter in a narrow box canyon that empties into the Rio Grande near Langtree, Texas. | ||
| The bisons plunge to their deaths on a rock pile at the opening of the shelter, and there are historically documented accounts of northern plains Indian groups using this effective, if indiscriminate, technique of killing bison. | ||
| But you also have to remember back then, there was so many bison that if they thought they killed a couple extra thousand, they didn't give a fuck. | ||
| They were everywhere. | ||
| There were so many of them. | ||
| And here's why that happened. | ||
| Here's where it gets even weirder. | ||
| They think that that happened because people got smallpox and it killed like 90% of the Native American population. | ||
| So when the Europeans came over in the 1500s, and whatever it was when Cortez came over here, what was that? | ||
| Was that the 1500s? | ||
| Anyway, when those guys came over and brought smallpox, it just wiped out most of the population. | ||
| So the buffalo, who really, their major predator was people, especially Native Americans, especially once they figured out how to ride horses. | ||
| But now all those dudes died. | ||
| And so the buffalo went ham, just fucked up a storm, and then there was millions of them. | ||
| There's an author, Dan Flores, who has this whole paper that he wrote on it. | ||
| Was it called Bison Ecology, Bison Diplomacy, I think it's called? | ||
| Something along those lines. | ||
| But it's crazy. | ||
| You hear about the fate of the bison in North America. | ||
| I mean, it's like the most iconic animal when you really think about the Old West. | ||
| If there was one animal when you think about the Old West, maybe it'd be horses, but more likely it'd be a bison. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why do they call Buffalo, Buffalo? | ||
| The city of Buffalo? | ||
| Good question. | ||
| Because a bison is not technically the same as a buffalo. | ||
| Because those people don't move when they should, too? | ||
| You son of a bitch. | ||
| You snuck that in good. | ||
| It's good timing, too. | ||
| You had a good pause there. | ||
| I'm genuinely curious. | ||
| It's a good pause. | ||
| It seems like... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe there was a lot of buffalo back then. | ||
| There's buffalo everywhere. | ||
| They were like elk. | ||
| Elk were in literally every state. | ||
| Pretty much. | ||
| People were gross, man. | ||
| We killed everything. | ||
| The quick question of what's the difference is, contrary to the song, buffalo do not roam in American West. | ||
| They are indigenous to South Asia and Africa. | ||
| Buffalo. | ||
| While bison are found in North America. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| They call it American buffalo, but it's a bison. | ||
| It's a different animal. | ||
| The buffalo that you get in Asia and Asian water buffalo, those are the ones they get that are in Australia. | ||
| They brought those over to Australia. | ||
| Dude, they got a mess over there. | ||
| There's nothing that kills them. | ||
| So they're just all over the place. | ||
| And they destroy the land. | ||
| They're so big. | ||
| There's so many of them. | ||
| And they're wild. | ||
| They even have wild domestic cows that grow out of control. | ||
| And the males become like super ferocious. | ||
| You know like a bull? | ||
| Like a bull doesn't want you riding them? | ||
| Well, they have a thing in Australia called scrub bulls. | ||
| And what it is is a domestic cattle. | ||
| Like domestic cattle. | ||
| But that went wild. | ||
| Like... | ||
| Generations ago, many, many generations ago. | ||
| So now they're just wild animals that happen to have enormous fucking horns and weigh 2,000 pounds and freak out if they see people. | ||
| So they see people, if you're too close, they think you're close in to try to kill them, they just fuck you up. | ||
| Oh, fuck that. | ||
| It's Crocodile Dundee. | ||
| I think that's a water buffalo. | ||
| That's what's here. | ||
| That's this. | ||
| See, that above me is from my friend Adam Greentree. | ||
| He shot one of those. | ||
| Oh, this is crazy. | ||
| He's going to walk up to the thing. | ||
| He knows voodoo. | ||
| He put his hand on it and it just dropped. | ||
| Yeah, in the real world, he would be dead as fuck. | ||
| That thing would just smash him. | ||
| He's like, I'll just touch your head. | ||
| Hi. | ||
| I'll just touch your head. | ||
| Hi. | ||
| And then the bull just gave in and went down. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, that dude, you know he wound up marrying the girl? | ||
| That girl? | ||
| That girl with the camera. | ||
| No. | ||
| His co-star. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Wow. | ||
| She's like, man, I could do that with a bull. | ||
| What else can you do? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But that's all around Australia. | ||
| Those big-ass giant bulls. | ||
| And then big-ass scrub bulls. | ||
| Wild domestic cows. | ||
| Australia's a mess. | ||
| In that sense, wildlife-wise. | ||
| Because there's so many things that are invasive. | ||
| This last time we were there, for the first time I actually went to a sanctuary, one of those places, and... | ||
| With Jeremiah and Joel, and we had a blast, man. | ||
| There are some crazy animals down there. | ||
| We held a koala bear, took a picture with a koala. | ||
| Let me tell you, I feel like the American version of that animal seems so cute and soft and light. | ||
| It feels like a stuffed animal, what we think a koala is. | ||
| And we went to take a picture of this thing, and this lady handed me this koala. | ||
| It felt like it was tiny, right? | ||
| Same size that I thought it would be. | ||
| But the thing was like fucking three bowling balls. | ||
| It was just so heavy. | ||
| It's a bear. | ||
| It's a real bear, and this is the thing. | ||
| And exactly. | ||
| We call it a koala. | ||
| Oh, it's a koala. | ||
| But it should be illegal to say it without the word bear attached to it. | ||
| Because let me tell you, this fucking thing, they have to feed these things eucalyptus leaves the entire time. | ||
| That's all it eats. | ||
| Well... | ||
| What I didn't know is that that's all it eats and that's all it does. | ||
| The second this thing is done with one of the eucalyptus leaves, they have to hand it another one because you can feel its energy change. | ||
| It turns its head and it gets a fucking little bit of a look. | ||
| It's ready to fuck you up. | ||
| You have to just keep feeding this. | ||
| These are like drug addicts on an IV drip that are starting to feel pain the second they don't have the drip. | ||
| Of course, like how much nutrition is a goddamn eucalyptus leaf? | ||
| They probably have to eat them, they have to stuff themselves with it. | ||
| Yep, and they're solid as a rock, so think about all that they must, you know. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And you know, their claws, it's just a real bear, man. | ||
| Which, it wasn't until I held that koala in which I realized the true power of what we consider an actual bear. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because it's like, that thing's this big, right? | ||
| And it felt like that. | ||
| It was that strong and sturdy in their hands and everything. | ||
| You feel everything. | ||
| To say it's a ball of muscle would be a tremendous understatement. | ||
| And... | ||
| Honest to God, man, I thought we were going to go take pictures with these koalas because they have the little girl zookeepers and they seem super comfortable and they're giggling and happy and everything, but it ended up being a serious situation. | ||
| I was scared. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| I was very scared. | ||
| Jeremiah kept making fun of me because of how scared I was. | ||
| I'm like, I'm good. | ||
| She's like, you want to take a group picture with all of you in the bear? | ||
| I'm like, nah, that was enough. | ||
| Good for you. | ||
| Right now, because of a gigantic wildfire in Australia, they've become functionally extinct Which means that 80% of their range has been destroyed by wildfire. | ||
| So you didn't even find anything on that. | ||
| I think my numbers are right. | ||
| If you see, um... | ||
| Aww, there you guys. | ||
| Yeah, that's us. | ||
| Look how far away I am. | ||
| Look at my hand. | ||
| My hand's on Jeremiah's hand. | ||
| Good, because he's thinking about biting you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look. | |
| It is. | ||
| It's like, fucking Tony. | ||
| Fuck you, Tony. | ||
| It's like, ready to bite you, bro. | ||
| Look. | ||
| Oh, you guys are all handsy with each other. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a little weird. | |
| You can't tell. | ||
| There's the final result. | ||
| Jeremiah and that dude break off. | ||
| We're literally laughing about that as it's happening. | ||
| Yeah, see if you can pull up the article on them, koalas now functionally extinct in Australia. | ||
| Because I think 80% of their range has been destroyed. | ||
| And, you know, you're talking about the only places where they can live and breed, and there's a giant population of them. | ||
| Koalas aren't functionally extinct, but they need our health. | ||
| Well, what does it say? | ||
| Well, this is one scene that... | ||
| See, Google koalas are functionally extinct. | ||
| That's what I did. | ||
| I looked it up and that's what popped up. | ||
| And these things stink too, by the way. | ||
| I was obsessed with the smell of eucalyptus. | ||
| So there's all these new articles that say they aren't extinct. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So you know what it probably was? | ||
| I probably got caught up in some scientific clickbait. | ||
| Here's the one that says they may be as of May. | ||
| So people updated it. | ||
| But it was really recent. | ||
| Where are these ones coming from? | ||
| You're looking at older ones from May. | ||
| See how everything's from May? | ||
| New York Times, Forbes, National Geographic. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Look, I'm not saying you're wrong, Jamie. | ||
| What I'm saying is the older ones, when they're saying they were functionally extinct, was from May, which doesn't totally make sense because were there that many fires in May? | ||
| Because aren't these fires of real recent? | ||
| Well, there are a bunch now, yeah. | ||
| So most of them are saying, no, koalas aren't functionally extinct. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I guess, yeah, it says, after there were bushfires, it overstated claims. | ||
| Okay, yeah. | ||
| So that's what you've got to wonder about today, man. | ||
| Anytime you read an article, like, I didn't even read it, right? | ||
| I just read the head, the heading. | ||
| That's how they're getting you with everything. | ||
| That's clickbait. | ||
| And it's almost like they have to do that. | ||
| Like, if you have a great article, but it doesn't have a catchy headline, how many people are going to... | ||
| It's almost like you have to come up with something that's almost a lie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You have to get their attention. | ||
| You have to at least give them the little bit that the article might not even be about. | ||
| You just have to get them to click. | ||
| It's like a salesman or a sales job. | ||
| How often does Australia have fires? | ||
| If they have a giant one in May and they have another giant one now... | ||
| And I was watching a show, some show from Australia where some dude was losing weight, like some fitness show. | ||
| You know, his wife got him to go on this show and he's losing all this weight and he has to do all these exercises and shit. | ||
| And while they were there, they were worried that they were going to have to evacuate. | ||
| Because these giant fires were coming their way. | ||
| I'm like, how often is Australia on fire? | ||
| And when that place is on fire, that's a huge place with not that many people. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| How much has been burned equivalent to a map of America? | ||
| That's insane! | ||
| Dude, that is insane. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That's insane. | ||
| We're looking at most of Manhattan and then a giant chunk of New York State, a giant chunk of Pennsylvania. | ||
| It looks like New Jersey's completely engulfed. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's a huge patch. | ||
| And all out into the ocean as well. | ||
| So that's the thing. | ||
| If you look at that, if you pulled way back at the entire continent and looked at that little square, it wouldn't look as big. | ||
| Wow, look at that. | ||
| Pittsburgh to Cleveland. | ||
| Yeah, but go way back. | ||
| No, go way small so you can see the whole continent. | ||
| So that's how you've got to think of Australia. | ||
| So that's how Australia looks at it. | ||
| Hopefully he'll get out on his own. | ||
| Not much we can do about it. | ||
| You've got to get rid of these fucking buffalo. | ||
| Wouldn't it be fun to just get dropped off somewhere like that with a bunch of, just like 30 days worth of stuff in a backpack to survive and just be lost? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| Except if you break your ankle. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then you're wondering if you're going to die this way. | ||
| That could be the future of vacations, right? | ||
| Australian brush fact. | ||
| Fact check. | ||
| Are this year's fires unprecedented? | ||
| Conservative commentators have pointed out a long history of brush fires, suggest there is nothing unusual about this season. | ||
| Experts disagree. | ||
| So it's even worse this season. | ||
| Yeah, that's a big chunk of land, man. | ||
| I was reading or watching a video, rather, today. | ||
| I put it on my Twitter about this family in Siberia that they found, that had escaped communist persecution. | ||
| They were really religious. | ||
| And they moved to the middle of Siberia, and they found them one day there. | ||
| And they had no idea World War II had happened. | ||
| They were missing out on, like, giant... | ||
| They had no contact with the outside world. | ||
| The daughters had never seen people before. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| Were they, like, homeschooled the kids? | ||
| Oh, I mean, they taught them what they could, but they're all just barely surviving. | ||
| One of them starved to death. | ||
| The mother starved to death. | ||
| And it's a cartoon of it all. | ||
| So it's real weird. | ||
| Like, you watch this cartoon, you know, and this lady just starves to death in the cartoon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah, and they were growing their own food and hunting what they can, but they didn't have a bow and arrow, they didn't have a gun, so they would set traps in the ground floor, and animals would fall in, and sticks would stab them. | ||
| Is that what they looked like? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Not long after they got found. | ||
| Fucking crazy, man. | ||
| So they were, I think they were out there for, that was 78 when they got found? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I think they were out there pre-World War II, so wrap your head around that. | ||
| Ugh. | ||
| so they might have been out there for you know 30 plus years and that was the shack they lived in that was the place they lived in and they're they're in the fucking taiga man they're in siberia they're 150 miles from the late the the nearest city they walked they got 150 miles in and set up shop because some of the people that they were with in their religious group were killed By communists. | ||
| Some were arrested and persecuted and they just had to flee. | ||
| So they took off and they made a little commune up there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good God. | |
| Good God. | ||
| Freezing cold Siberia, right? | ||
| Freezing cold and starving to death. | ||
| The mother starved to death to let the kids live. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| They barely made it and then they started growing some food. | ||
| And they figured out a way to, the remaining people that didn't starve to death, figured out a way to survive. | ||
| But they were barely hanging on. | ||
| They were all barefoot when they found them. | ||
| They eat their mom? | ||
| Probably not, right? | ||
| You can't bring yourself to eat your own mother, right? | ||
| You might eat your mom. | ||
| If you're starving. | ||
| She's not going to need that meat. | ||
| Right? | ||
| You don't? | ||
| I don't want to look. | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| Do you starve to death with her or do you eat her? | ||
| I think she would want, I think my mom would want me to eat her. | ||
| I know your mom would want to eat it. | ||
| I get to see her this week. | ||
| I get to have my mom's spaghetti sauce for the first time in a year and a half or so. | ||
| Dude, your mom's hilarious. | ||
| You should really legitimately write for her and take her on the road. | ||
| Does your mom work? | ||
| Does she have a job? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| She's an old lady now. | ||
| Dude, take that old lady on the road. | ||
| You're so funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm telling you. | |
| Your mom is funny, man. | ||
| She could do it. | ||
| If you wrote for her, that would be a good writing exercise for you. | ||
| Write for your mom. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Especially if you brought her to Kill Tony shows, and she goes up and just does a couple minutes in these towns. | ||
| Oh, she's definitely going to do Kill Tony again. | ||
| I don't think she knows it, but episode 500 is coming fast. | ||
| We're at like 419 right now. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| It's awesome that you guys are doing these big giant road shows, too. | ||
| It's fucking killer, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're in the middle of it, right? | ||
| And this is the end of it. | ||
| We've been everywhere this year. | ||
| It was such a crazy year for us. | ||
| We literally went everywhere. | ||
| Australia, Europe, and everywhere in America. | ||
| Every major Canadian city. | ||
| Well, it's such a good concept. | ||
| If you like stand-up, and you want to know what it's like to try it out in the beginning, and then try it out in the most hostile environment, no demand, but also most supportive, because if the comic's good, like if someone does a solid minute, every time I've been on the show, we'll be like, fuck yeah, man, that was good! | ||
| The crowd loves it. | ||
| If people are laughing, you're like, okay, how long have you been doing it? | ||
| You ask them, like, alright, yeah, how'd you get started? | ||
| Fucking, I mean, for a comic, man, if you've got a good, solid minute, if you actually can do it, it's an amazing thing for you. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| You could literally get a career started and rolling from doing Kill Tony with one minute. | ||
| They have. | ||
| I mean, we've had so many people start on Kill Tony, literally start there. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| But it's also, it's like, it's a cool way for everyone else to see what it's like when someone's either just doing it for the first time, or just, I mean, most people have never been to an open mic night. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They might see your special online, or they might see someone else's special online, and go, oh, that's what a comic looks like. | ||
| I don't know how to do that. | ||
| But then you watch an open mic night, especially Kill Tony. | ||
| There's at least... | ||
| How many people do you get up in an episode? | ||
| About eight. | ||
| Eight, okay. | ||
| At least three are fucking atrocious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Atrocious. | ||
| At least three. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where you're just like, holy shit. | ||
| Luckily, they're only doing 60 seconds, and that's what makes it fun. | ||
| That mix-in. | ||
| I do this poll sometimes, especially on the road shows, where at some point in the episode I'll go... | ||
| How many out there like it when comedians do good on this show? | ||
| And the crowd always goes like, woo! | ||
| And then I always go, how many of you like it when comedians do bad on this show? | ||
| And the place notoriously goes insane. | ||
| There's this huge roar. | ||
| And the cooler the city, the louder that roar is. | ||
| Like, I specifically remember Sydney, Australia was a big one. | ||
| Like, they couldn't believe we were there. | ||
| And they're part of this thing where they get to hear, you know. | ||
| And then Sydney guys get to go up, too, and girls. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And here's the other thing that makes it fun. | ||
| Like, both ways, it's great. | ||
| Like, if the comic does great, it's great. | ||
| Everybody laughs. | ||
| But if they bomb, there's professional comics ready to talk shit about it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which is maybe even better. | ||
| And if they bomb, you know, the interview lasts longer than their set. | ||
| That's only 60 seconds. | ||
| The interview can last up to, I've spent up to, if somebody's super interesting, I'll spend 15, 20 minutes with them. | ||
| Then we're just finding out about their life. | ||
| They're just a guest on a podcast. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| Do people get mad? | ||
| Fucking, I was waiting. | ||
| When did I drop? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| They know... | ||
| I got my fucking laser sharp 60 seconds. | ||
| Yeah, they know what's up. | ||
| They know that... | ||
| Because I'll only keep someone up there if it's super compelling. | ||
| We had this guy pulled out of a bucket two weeks ago that just came, not came down with, but has Lou Gehrig's disease and was doing comedy for 20 years. | ||
| And now he's like, come back to it and is, you know, he's... | ||
| He's got it, I don't know what the word is, pretty... | ||
| Intermission? | ||
| No, the opposite of that. | ||
| Oh, bad? | ||
| Yeah, he's got a strong case of it. | ||
| But he's utilizing it, and he's murdering. | ||
| And it's a perfect format for him. | ||
| Michael Lehrer, L-E-H... R-E-R, something like that. | ||
| I'm pretty sure that's his name. | ||
| And so at the end of his set, at the end of this amazing, compelling interview, I invite him back to come back the next week. | ||
| So last night, or Monday night, we had him back on, and I get nervous when I do things like this, because I'm like, man, I hope they have another minute. | ||
| I hope this interview goes as good as it does last time, because now I don't want to feel bad for them. | ||
| And man, smashing! | ||
| There he is, right there. | ||
| He doesn't want to come up on the stage because somebody would have to carry him and his entire body would jolt if he leaves the chair. | ||
| He said that last week someone hit him. | ||
| He's wearing the UFC fight gear. | ||
| He can't really tell from this angle, but he's wearing UFC intro. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Just the normal... | ||
| Warm-up gear, and he said it's because last week guys were hitting on his girlfriend slash nurse that comes with him. | ||
| So he's like, he wanted to let these motherfuckers know what's up. | ||
| So he's wearing UFC fight gear. | ||
| And he's been doing stand-up for 20 years? | ||
| He's been doing comedy for 20 years. | ||
| He started in Chicago at Second City, and I think he's only been doing stand-up like four or five. | ||
| But now he's really leaning into, he's utilizing this Lou Gehrig's disease, this ALS that really has a grasp on him, but he's really leaning into it. | ||
| He's talking about how he has sex with his girlfriend, but he can't do it any style other than on his back and all this stuff. | ||
| You've got to see him. | ||
| I'm not giving any of it any justice. | ||
| Lou Gehrig's disease is incurable, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is it? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We have another girl from... | ||
| We found... | ||
| We did a show in North Carolina. | ||
| We pulled the name out of a bucket. | ||
| She gets carried up by these people. | ||
| A wheelchair comes in behind her. | ||
| They sit her down. | ||
| She was 16 years old. | ||
| Caroline Smith, I believe is her name. | ||
| And she was 16 at the time. | ||
| And she is a murderer. | ||
| She will be absolutely known by the world. | ||
| I think hers is... | ||
| It's cerebral palsy. | ||
| Again, a pretty strong case of it. | ||
| And we had her... | ||
| We do this thing called Kill Tony Mania where we have some... | ||
| It's just a big hoopla where I take a big van of people from down here up there every year in San Fran. | ||
| And she wanted to fly out, so she hit me up. | ||
| She's like, hey, I'm coming out. | ||
| I'm going to cash in on my golden ticket, which is something that people on the road can win where you can show up to any Kill Tony after that. | ||
| Only six people in the world have ever won it. | ||
| But if you get the golden ticket, that means that you killed so hard and your interview was so great and you're so interesting that you get to show up at any Kill Tony and do a minute wherever it's happening. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That's a good idea. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So she cashed in. | ||
| She goes, I'm going to meet you in San Francisco. | ||
| And I go, okay, we'll keep it a secret, blah, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| She's coming in with her family, this and that. | ||
| And that's another one where it's like, oh, man. | ||
| I wasn't nervous at all until right beforehand. | ||
| And I'm like, oh. | ||
| Boy, here we go. | ||
| This is a lot of pressure for who's now a 17 or 18 year old girl. | ||
| I'm talking about a murder. | ||
| The last thing she said to me was... | ||
| The last thing I said to her, or she said to me after I said goodbye that night, she's literally like, I just can't wait until August 21st, 2023 when I get to finally come to the comedy store and show these motherfuckers what's up. | ||
| I'm just like, wow, this is a real comedian. | ||
| From Raleigh, North Carolina. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's so exciting, the people that we get to find doing that show. | ||
| It's just something that I love. | ||
| Well, it's one of the best things for amateur comedians ever. | ||
| Like, literally. | ||
| You know, the word amateur is weird, right? | ||
| Starting out. | ||
| Beginning comedians, however. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And, you know, just people that are really good at it. | ||
| Preacher Lawson, we had right out of there. | ||
| Drew Lynch. | ||
| These guys all went on to win or place high on America's Got Talent. | ||
| These shows where they're sifting through everything to find talented people. | ||
| These are all guys that we were telling our monsters five, six years ago. | ||
| It's such a great idea to do on the road, too. | ||
| How long have you guys been doing that now? | ||
| A couple years? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Two years? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We've been taking it on the road. | ||
| Actually, it's been six and a half years. | ||
| We're going back to Columbus tomorrow night. | ||
| Six and a half years? | ||
| You were doing them on the road that long ago? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, we started at the store. | ||
| We almost immediately were doing them. | ||
| We did one in Columbus almost immediately after that. | ||
| Oh, see, I thought you maybe did, like, very rarely on the road until recently. | ||
| No, it started. | ||
| But recently you guys have ramped it up. | ||
| We've really, we've really ramped it up. | ||
| Internationally. | ||
| Yeah, we basically, like, doubled the amount of episodes that we've been doing by doing them on the road. | ||
| But we're going back to Columbus tomorrow, which was the first place we ever went with it. | ||
| And it's been a long time coming, this, like, return to Ohio and Pittsburgh. | ||
| Where are you playing? | ||
| The Newport Music Hall. | ||
| We're doing the House of Blues in Cleveland. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think I did that place. | |
| I think I did that place at one point in time. | ||
| Newport Music Hall. | ||
| That's an old place, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The Southern Theater I did when I was there, that place had Mae West and W.C. Fields had performed there. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I was like, whoa. | ||
| It's a big one for us, though, because I'm from, of course, I'm originally from Youngstown, spent some time working and going to school in Columbus, and Red Band's from Columbus, so it's a big hoopla. | ||
| And Young Jamie. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Also from Columbus. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| And the Illuminati, and the military-industry complex, and the underground bases with the aliens. | ||
| Columbus, Ohio. | ||
| Dude, it's a hub. | ||
| It's a hub for unusual things. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| The Wright brothers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just Ohio in general. | ||
| A lot of crazy shits come out of Ohio, son. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm doing Boom Boom Manzini's podcast on when I get to Youngstown. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| Friday. | ||
| First thing I do when I get into Youngstown. | ||
| It's so surreal. | ||
| I don't even have any time to do it, really, because I have one day in town to visit my mother, who's in a different place than my father and my sister and my nephews. | ||
| And literally, like, Boom Boom hit me up. | ||
| He's like, any chance you're going to be in Youngstown? | ||
| Just message me. | ||
| It's So surreal. | ||
| So surreal. | ||
| What if he tries to fuck you? | ||
| I don't think you would. | ||
| Don't hit me. | ||
| Don't hit me. | ||
| I'm just joking. | ||
| I'm a comedian, sir. | ||
| I would have said it about a brother. | ||
| I would have said it about Tony's brother. | ||
| Let me just tell you that if you're from Youngstown and Boom Boom hits you up and invites you to do his podcast, you tell your mom and your dad that you're busy for an hour. | ||
| That's what you do. | ||
| He was doing Fox pay-per-view commentary real recently. | ||
| I think it was for the Deontay Wilder-Louis Ortiz fight. | ||
| He does commentary. | ||
| He works as an analyst. | ||
| He sits at the desk. | ||
| He's not doing the ringside commentary, but he sits at the desk. | ||
| He's a class act. | ||
| Great guy. | ||
| And where I grew up and how I grew up, you're taught that that's... | ||
| My mother and father spoke more highly of him than they did basically of God himself. | ||
| Like Boom Boom Mancini in Youngstown when I was growing up there was it. | ||
| That's what you want to be. | ||
| That's what you got to do. | ||
| Yeah, that was a town that was synonymous with Ray Mancini. | ||
| Like if you said Youngstown, Ohio, people would go Boom Boom Mancini. | ||
| Especially guys like my age. | ||
| Because when I was young, we used to watch them on ABC Wide World of Sports. | ||
| We used to watch them on TV. There was a big way that you would watch fights. | ||
| You'd watch them on television back then. | ||
| And I'm pretty sure Boom Boom fought Alexis Arguello. | ||
| Yeah, he did. | ||
| Unbelievable. | ||
| I'm pretty sure he fought him on ABC. Those fights, going back and watching them now, it's just absolutely insane. | ||
| These guys were hitting the hell out of each other. | ||
| Almost a totally different evolved sport, right? | ||
| So much more defense, I feel like, now. | ||
| Today? | ||
| No. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| It depends who you're watching fight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, if you're watching Deontay Wilder, it's people getting murked. | ||
| If you're watching Terrence Bud Crawford, it's someone intelligently picking somebody apart and then smashing them. | ||
| There's super high-level boxers today, man. | ||
| Oh, yeah, for sure. | ||
| I'm thinking more, I think, the accumulation of punches, especially since it was 15 rounds. | ||
| Well, you know, it stopped being 15 rounds because of Ray Mancini and Dukku Kim. | ||
| That was the fight that really was one of the major catalysts for them, reducing it to 12 rounds. | ||
| There's a good argument they should reduce it even further. | ||
| Some people think it would be better if all fights were five rounds like a world kickboxing fight. | ||
| That guys would just also fight harder. | ||
| They would just go after each other for five rounds. | ||
| It would definitely be more entertaining. | ||
| I wonder, man. | ||
| You know, it's like you want to see a good fight. | ||
| But do you want to see guys sort of pace themselves to try to fight 12 rounds? | ||
| Or do you want to see guys go ham for 6 rounds? | ||
| Like, what's better? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's a good argument. | ||
| The best argument that I ever heard about fights is the one where Firas Ahabi was talking about the other day, and I agree with him 100%. | ||
| Why do you have a time limit? | ||
| Just start the fight. | ||
| Let's see what happens. | ||
| Let people figure out when to expend their energy. | ||
| Why is there breaks? | ||
| Why do you have breaks? | ||
| I mean, if we had it like the early days of the UFC, then you would really understand all the nuances of comedy. | ||
| You really can't sprint, because if you hurt someone and you don't take them out, you're going to get exhausted. | ||
| You blew all your energy out, and the fight goes on forever. | ||
| It goes on until somebody wins. | ||
| That's when you really find out what fighting is. | ||
| But if you're going to have boxing, like boxing, those rounds... | ||
| Like three minutes. | ||
| Three minute rounds with just your hands. | ||
| You can get a lot of action in there. | ||
| If you made that up to five, six rounds. | ||
| But I don't know. | ||
| It's nothing wrong. | ||
| It's also a great thing seeing someone slowly figure somebody out over five, six rounds and then start working them in the seventh, eighth, ninth, and tenth and get a knockout in the eleventh or something like that. | ||
| It's always interesting to see someone break someone's style down, figure them out, impose their will, and then also see their conditioning as the fight goes on, their superior conditioning play out. | ||
| There's some guys that just fucking don't get tired, man. | ||
| Those are the ones that I love, especially in UFC. Nate, Colby, Ioana. | ||
| Colby's a big one. | ||
| Colby and Usman this weekend, that's a big one. | ||
| That's a big one with two guys with enormous gas tanks. | ||
| What a fascinating fight that is to me. | ||
| Because people want to pretend Colby can't fight. | ||
| I know, right? | ||
| When someone's a bad guy, it sways everything in their reasonable, rational mind. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| Watching what he did to Robbie Lawler makes someone so undeniable that it's ridiculous. | ||
| People are still in denial. | ||
| They're in less denial, though, than they would be. | ||
| They're in less denial than they would be. | ||
| It's a real problem. | ||
| He's a real problem. | ||
| Because that style of shit-talking is infuriating. | ||
| And you can't say a goddamn thing to him because he's in a character. | ||
| So if he pisses you off... | ||
| You say something back to him. | ||
| Yeah, why don't you go suck Trump's dick? | ||
| You'd be like, I would. | ||
| Mr. Trump's a good man. | ||
| I bet his dick tastes like lollipops. | ||
| He can say whatever he wants. | ||
| Colby gets it, man. | ||
| Listen. | ||
| He gets it. | ||
| He's full old school Ric Flair with a new style twist. | ||
| And he's a real fighter, man. | ||
| He's a real fighter. | ||
| He's absolutely one of the best welterweights in the world. | ||
| And this is a very, very close fight. | ||
| But Kamaru Usman... | ||
| He's a tank of a man. | ||
| He's a spectacular athlete. | ||
| He's got big power. | ||
| I mean, he only has, I think, a couple knockouts in his career, but it's because he's learned how to kickbox after he learned how to wrestle. | ||
| He was an elite wrestler. | ||
| But he does put people away, and he hurt Tyron Woodley, and he beat him standing. | ||
| And Tyron is a fan. | ||
| I don't think Tyron was at his best in that fight. | ||
| I think there were some issues that Tyron had. | ||
| But it doesn't take anything away from Usman. | ||
| Usman's been running through competition. | ||
| He has one loss in his career, 15 wins. | ||
| He talks about the loss on the podcast. | ||
| He just got caught in a rear naked choke, got tapped, made a mistake. | ||
| It happens. | ||
| Didn't know jiu-jitsu that well. | ||
| But as an elite wrestler who's transitioned to become a world-class mixed martial arts fighter, you don't get much better. | ||
| He was scared. | ||
| Or he was scary, rather. | ||
| Everybody was scared of him. | ||
| Nobody wanted to fight him. | ||
| Everybody was ducking him. | ||
| You never heard anybody call out Kamaru Usman when he was running through competition. | ||
| Everybody was like, you know what? | ||
| This fucking guy and that fight. | ||
| They get to Usman and be like, no, no, no. | ||
| He seems like a nice guy. | ||
| I don't want to fight him. | ||
| Colby's my favorite thing to watch right now. | ||
| I think he's just so... | ||
| I think he really gets so many aspects of the basic part of this sport. | ||
| Endurance, learn, train, and be entertaining. | ||
| Dude, have you seen his new suit? | ||
| No. | ||
| He's got an orange one now. | ||
| And he brings that Donald Trump Jr. book everywhere he goes. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| He's got an orange suit, just as gross as the blue one. | ||
| It is goddamn hilarious. | ||
| There's photos of him at the press conference with an orange suit. | ||
| Bro, he is... | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Look at his orange suit. | ||
| It looks like it costs less than the blue suit. | ||
| I didn't think that was possible. | ||
| I mean, he's a fucking genius. | ||
| Listen, man. | ||
| This guy, let me mark my words. | ||
| When this guy is done fighting, he will be a huge pro wrestling star. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Fucking huge. | ||
| And he might do it quick. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| If he wins, if that guy wins, and maybe he fights Masvidal, maybe he fights one more time, he goes right into pro wrestling. | ||
| And he may cha-cha-ching! | ||
| And what's crazy is that I've been pitching, we do a wrestling podcast at the Comedy Store, and I've been pitching for years now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| I'm going to read the book! | ||
| He's sitting at the press conference reading Donald Trump Jr.'s book! | ||
| And I've been pitching for years that the WWE is missing out on having this pro-Trump, super bad guy character, and then Colby comes out of nowhere and does it in real life in the UFC. And they still haven't done it in WWE. You can't call him a joke. | ||
| Because he smashes Robbie Lawler. | ||
| He smashes Rafael Dos Anjos. | ||
| You watch him fight like, oh my god, this guy's a fucking beast. | ||
| A record-setting performance against Robbie Lawler. | ||
| 500-some punches landed. | ||
| Not just that. | ||
| He mostly beat him standing up. | ||
| It was mostly a stand-up fight. | ||
| And he is the guy that you thought of as the wrestler. | ||
| And Robbie's the elite striker. | ||
| He's a former world champion. | ||
| And Kobe ran him over. | ||
| It wasn't even a close fight. | ||
| And all this promo stuff that he does, how good he is at that, it's because he wants to be. | ||
| It's because he's a learner. | ||
| He came and saw me perform at the Improv in Florida, West Palm Beach. | ||
| And afterwards, we were in the green room, and he's like, you know, I learned a lot about timing and beats from watching you up there tonight. | ||
| Getting those, you know what I mean? | ||
| How you get these laughs using your timing and your pauses in this. | ||
| I need to do more of that. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, dude, exactly! | ||
| It's so cool to watch a guy that's, you know, while being on top of a big business, I feel like a lot of people, you know, their egos, this and that, or it's just about the fight game, you know. | ||
| No, he's not about that at all. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But it's a genius pursuit. | ||
| And, you know, he has openly now said it. | ||
| We talked about it on the podcast, but he's saying it now. | ||
| He did it on the Candace Owens show. | ||
| He's like, they were going to cut him. | ||
| They were going to cut him. | ||
| They told him that his style wasn't fan friendly. | ||
| And so he beats Damien Mai in Brazil and calls him a bunch of filthy animals. | ||
| Everybody goes crazy. | ||
| And they're like, oh, hold on a second. | ||
| We might have something here. | ||
| So he talked about it on the podcast. | ||
| Like, look, I got to do something. | ||
| My career is in jeopardy. | ||
| Like, I'm going to create a character. | ||
| So he created this character. | ||
| Like, I've called his fights before. | ||
| I called his fights early in his career. | ||
| Before that, he was just a really tough guy who had a great gas tank who I knew from my friend Cam Haynes. | ||
| He trains with Cam Haynes. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So just imagine the kind of gas tank this motherfucker must have. | ||
| If you do anything with Cam Haynes, you have to have a crazy gas tank. | ||
| Well, that's the scary thing about him, right? | ||
| It's almost like, again, it's like a pro wrestling character already. | ||
| It's like, oh, you don't know? | ||
| Even if you don't somehow find a way to finish it, You're stuck in rounds four and five now. | ||
| It's always going to be championship rounds now with this guy, and you're going to be stuck in there with him. | ||
| Yeah, if you can't take him out in one, two, or three, and you can't maintain that pace, and if you try to take him out and you emptied your gas tank, he never empties his gas tank. | ||
| And the thing is about his style, this thing that he's doing, not his style, but his promotion style with the cheap suits and the fucking book, you think it's a joke. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But then you watch his fights. | ||
| If you didn't have any information about him and his character and you just watch his fights, you'd be like, fuck, man, this guy's driven. | ||
| This guy's fucking driven. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But then you add into that this character, and everybody's pretending, you know, that, oh, that guy's a joke, that guy's a joke. | ||
| That joke, he's running over everybody. | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| Just because you don't like Trump. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And this is, like, it's a genius thing to attach himself to Trump. | ||
| Right. | ||
| and what's interesting is like even fighters that maybe have paid more dues and maybe are more respected like if you put them all at the table like when we were behind when we were backstage at msg and the rocks there and dana's got the new bmf belt and all this stuff's happening they were doing that press conference for this one and max holloway is on one end and they have these guys on another and being backstage sometimes is a blessing because you can hear things that maybe you wouldn't notice if you're out front right yeah | ||
| And the roars and the cheers and the hoopla and everything was every time he talked. | ||
| Dude, we had a good time just sitting there watching it from the sidelines. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| It was great! | ||
| Insane! | ||
| What we're seeing is a master class in promotion and adaptation. | ||
| He adapted. | ||
| He created this character. | ||
| And this character is, it's so obviously a character, but it doesn't matter. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| I mean, it's so obvious. | ||
| He's not wearing that suit on purpose, like he thinks it's good looking. | ||
| No. | ||
| He's trying to be a dork. | ||
| He's trying to be a pro-Trump dork. | ||
| Like, if I was Trump, I'd be a little annoyed. | ||
| I'd be like, hey man, I see what the fuck you're doing. | ||
| You're making yourself look like a goof because you support me. | ||
| Please tell me you're following Colby on Instagram, right? | ||
| Of course I am. | ||
| Oh, the best. | ||
| The videos with the girls where he just comes out with his hands on their butts. | ||
| Hey, losers. | ||
| Hey, nerds. | ||
| It's straight up pro wrestling and super high level pro wrestling promos that you shoot. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| He's got a Trump hat on, stand in front of Trump Towers. | ||
| It's... | ||
| And the style even matches it too, right? | ||
| Because if he was just a quick round one knockout artist, almost like, you know, sort of like McGregor-esque, right? | ||
| I still don't think it works as well as a guy that has a never-ending gas tank. | ||
| Never-ending gas tank. | ||
| And can take a tremendous shot too. | ||
| He's a nightmare for everybody in the division. | ||
| Colby Covington is a fucking nightmare because he seems like he's playing... | ||
| He's doing these promos with all these girls in bikinis. | ||
| He's fucking reading Donald Trump Jr.'s book. | ||
| He's making it seem like he's a goof. | ||
| And you don't notice along the way that this guy's stomping world class fighters. | ||
| I mean, stomping them. | ||
| He's fucking amazing. | ||
| What he's done is, it's like a master class in promotion for all the young fighters coming up. | ||
| I don't necessarily think everybody should do what he's doing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But if I was in his camp, I was one of his friends, I would for sure be cheering it on. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| And everybody's mad at him. | ||
| And it goes two ways, right? | ||
| Even the people that are mad at him are still sort of laughing. | ||
| And you can usually catch them laughing while booing, in between booing. | ||
| That's why the suit is so genius. | ||
| See, he didn't have to do the suit. | ||
| The suit is the fucking... | ||
| Piece de resistance. | ||
| Because why else would he wear that fucking suit? | ||
| Here's what's genius about the suit. | ||
| It's a terrible suit. | ||
| It's literally one of the suits from Dumb and Dumber. | ||
| That orange suit is the one that Jeff Daniels or Jim Carrey, one of them has. | ||
| Almost. | ||
| Close enough. | ||
| But they're gross. | ||
| That's the point. | ||
| It's like he's doing that on purpose. | ||
| He's got money. | ||
| He's fighting for the title. | ||
| He's made money. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| He Jeff Daniels suit! | ||
| Oh my god, that's so silly. | ||
| It almost is. | ||
| It almost is. | ||
| Now go back to Colby. | ||
| Those are like the two suits that he owns. | ||
| Go back to Colby's suit. | ||
| He doesn't have that suit in the... | ||
| Oh, it's just the recent one. | ||
| The blue one. | ||
| He doesn't have the orange one on his Instagram. | ||
| He's slipping. | ||
| He's only got the blue one. | ||
| Oh, it's so funny. | ||
| But here's the thing, man. | ||
| At the end of the day, Kamaru Usman is a nightmare for every fucking living human being that's 170 pounds. | ||
| Go back to that real quick. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| We need to get him that top hat. | ||
| Kamaru Usman is a nightmare for every living human that's 170 pounds. | ||
| And if I wanted to see him fight a guy that I thought presented a bunch of unique challenges, I would say Colby. | ||
| Because Colby has a great wrestling pedigree, fantastic takedown defense, he can wrestle his ass off, his cardio's never-ending. | ||
| We saw in the Robbie Lawler fight, he puts pressure on you, lands ridiculous strikes, can stand in there against one of the elite strikers ever in the welterweight division in Robbie Lawler. | ||
| So, like, forget all the Trump bullshit. | ||
| Forget all the character bullshit. | ||
| He almost should have a name for that guy. | ||
| But put that aside, just stylistically. | ||
| Stylistically, it's one of the best matchups you're ever going to find for Usman. | ||
| Because you want to see whether or not Usman can catch him and hurt him. | ||
| You're going to see whether or not Colby can outmaneuver him and outpace him. | ||
| You're going to see whether or not Colby can put that kind of pressure on him the way he put it on Robbie. | ||
| And you're going to see, because you know Usman watched that fight for sure. | ||
| And I think... | ||
| Robby was training out of American Top Team initially and then left American Top Team to go somewhere else. | ||
| You don't have to change that. | ||
| I'm positive of this. | ||
| Robby left American Top Team. | ||
| So that was another thing that Colby was shitting on him for leaving American Top Team and gotten Robby's head a little bit from that. | ||
| He was really ruthless about it. | ||
| Kamaru Usman came from the Black Zillions, which was the rival team across town. | ||
| And now he's with Henry Hooft and I don't know what camp. | ||
| They're calling the camp now. | ||
| They changed it. | ||
| Find out what camp Kamaru Usman's out of. | ||
| It's essentially Henry Hooft and all the other. | ||
| But Henry Hooft is the kickboxing guy who's with the Black Zillions. | ||
| But either way, he's got Michael Chandler there. | ||
| They're showing videos of him and Chandler training. | ||
| Luke Rockhold was there. | ||
| Super high-level guys there. | ||
| So it's two phenomenal camps. | ||
| Everything lines up perfect. | ||
| You've got this guy in Usman who's just been steamrolling everybody. | ||
| You've got a guy in Colby, steamrolling everybody. | ||
| What do you got? | ||
| Doesn't say? | ||
| Anyway, I know he's with... | ||
| I know he's with Henry Hooft, who's one of the best kickboxing coaches, kickboxing instructors in all of MMA. He's just phenomenal. | ||
| It's just a great fight, man. | ||
| It's just a great fight. | ||
| Everything about it's great. | ||
| Everything about it's great. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| When did you grow Ioana fighting? | ||
| Her next one is... | ||
| Did they announce it for January? | ||
| I feel like I know it, but I don't. | ||
| I think she's fighting Wei Li Zhang. | ||
| I think she's fighting for the title. | ||
| Sun... | ||
| Did they announce it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| April fight, maybe? | ||
| Uh-huh, April. | ||
| Oh, that'll be in New York. | ||
| New York, big city of dreams, but everything in New York ain't always what it seems. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Is that what it says? | ||
| It doesn't say? | ||
| It's Zhang Weiling. | ||
| You have to say it backwards now. | ||
| For a while, we're saying Weili Zhang, but now it's Zhang Weiling. | ||
| No return. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm pretty sure she's fighting that. | ||
| I thought we found it. | ||
| I don't know if they announced it. | ||
| I'm pretty sure they did. | ||
| Maybe I just know some shit. | ||
| I do work for them, bro. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, you let me know the date as soon as you know so that I can... | ||
|
unidentified
|
You gonna go? | |
| Cheer her on? | ||
| Of course. | ||
| I don't miss Ioana. | ||
| Well, I did miss one Ioana. | ||
| When I started missing Ioana fights is when... | ||
| She started losing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you think that's what it is? | ||
| It's like you not being there? | ||
| We know for a fact that's what it is. | ||
| You force of energy. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| She wins when I'm there. | ||
| Is it sexual or is it just powerful? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Is it both? | ||
| What kind of energy are you putting out there? | ||
| Big dick energy? | ||
| I mean it's the only kind of energy I got bro. | ||
| What else is up on this card? | ||
| When do you want to come to a UFC again? | ||
| Do you want to go to that one in April? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Come to Brooklyn. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| So Max Holloway and Volkanovski is very interesting. | ||
| Very, very, very interesting because Volkanovski is a tank of a man. | ||
| He has a phenomenal gas tank. | ||
| He puts people away. | ||
| He puts tremendous pressure on guys. | ||
| But... | ||
| Max Holloway's the GOAT. He's the GOAT. He's the greatest featherweight of all time. | ||
| And Volkanovski, they have a common opponent in Jose Aldo. | ||
| Volkanovski, he beat Aldo, smothered him, beat him by decision. | ||
| Max Holloway's destroyed him. | ||
| Max Holloway's destroyed Aldo. | ||
| Twice. | ||
| And Aldo is another GOAT. I mean, Aldo's one of the greatest featherweights of all time, man. | ||
| And now Aldo's fighting Marlon Marais. | ||
| This is his first fight at bantamweight. | ||
| People were very concerned. | ||
| That's up? | ||
| No, down. | ||
| 135. Aldo went down? | ||
| He went to 35, son. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh no. | |
| Dude, he looks terrible. | ||
| Yeah, that's no bueno, man. | ||
| You ever see what he looks like? | ||
| See, Aldo looks gaunt preparing for 135. There's photos of him wandering around with his shirt off and stuff. | ||
| I shouldn't say wandering around. | ||
| I'm just saying hanging around. | ||
| And you see what he looks like. | ||
| There's the photos from his Instagram. | ||
| Dude, he's super, super skinny. | ||
| Look how skinny he looks. | ||
| Look at that right there. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| So he did it slowly, though. | ||
| Look how skinny he is, man. | ||
| The thing about it, though, is that he did it slowly. | ||
| So he lost the weight on purpose slowly over a long period of time. | ||
| Instead of just dehydrating the fuck out of himself and dropping down from 165 to 135, what he did was drop his body weight pretty significantly. | ||
| He looks quite a bit thinner than he used before, so he prepared for it over the long haul and got accustomed to being a lighter person. | ||
| If you're gonna do that, that's the way to do that. | ||
| The difference between dehydrating the shit out of yourself and just losing weight. | ||
| But even at 135 there, I'm in a wonder. | ||
| You take a hard punch to the head, it's just easier to go out. | ||
| Maybe, but maybe not, because he's doing it correctly. | ||
| So he's not going to be dehydrated. | ||
| T.J. Dillashaw was the big example of where someone goes too far. | ||
| When he went down to 125 pounds, he looked like death. | ||
| He looked terrible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And Brendan actually called it. | ||
| Schaub called it. | ||
| He was saying, I bet he took it because TJ got busted for EPO. He goes, I bet he took it because he couldn't train. | ||
| I bet he was too exhausted to train. | ||
| And that's pretty much what he said. | ||
| He just didn't have any energy. | ||
| It was much harder than they thought physically on him. | ||
| You're basically starving to death. | ||
| If you're dropping down, TJ probably walks around the 160s or something, and then he's getting down to... | ||
| 45, that's rough. | ||
| 35 is rough. | ||
| I used to do it in high school wrestling. | ||
| The thing I remember the most is having trouble not swallowing the toothpaste and water in my mouth while brushing my teeth before those things. | ||
| You literally, when it hits your tongue, your body naturally wants to, yeah. | ||
| It wants anything. | ||
| It starts the process itself. | ||
| See, TJ's look thick like a Snickers there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Thicker than a snicker. | ||
| He's probably, in that picture, he's probably in the high 50s. | ||
| Yeah, look at him. | ||
| He looks like Christian Bale's Dick Cheney in that picture. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You can still see his six-packs. | ||
| I'm kidding. | ||
| I'm kidding. | ||
| That's so ridiculous. | ||
| But he's with Archuleta, Rampage, Raymond Daniels, who's a world champion kickboxer. | ||
| Is that Louie Anderson in the middle there? | ||
| You son of a bitch. | ||
| Son of a bitch. | ||
| I think that's Rampage's guy. | ||
| I don't know who that is. | ||
| What I was saying, the weight cutting for Aldo just makes me scared. | ||
| What else is on the card? | ||
| Amanda Nunes is fighting Jermaine Durandamy. | ||
| This is a fight that people are not talking about. | ||
| This is a very interesting fight. | ||
| Because Jermaine Duran to me, she's lost a couple of times. | ||
| She's lost three times in MMA. She got submitted earlier on in her career. | ||
| But she's much better now at takedown defense. | ||
| But as a fighter, like as a kickboxer, she's a multiple-time world champion kickboxer. | ||
| Super legit striker. | ||
| We played a video yesterday of her knocking out a man. | ||
| She had a boxing match. | ||
| Just boxing. | ||
| With a man. | ||
| And fucking flatlined him with a punch. | ||
| She's a beast, man. | ||
| Yeah, I will never doubt Nunes. | ||
| Never! | ||
| Ever in a million years. | ||
| That's the GOAT. Yep. | ||
| That's the number one woman of all time. | ||
| Without a doubt. | ||
| Without a doubt. | ||
| What a monster. | ||
| And you know what, man? | ||
| If she went up to boxing... | ||
| Like, I mean, Claressa Shields is a bigger woman, and Claressa fights at 165, and she's better with her hands. | ||
| I mean, Claressa is a fantastic boxer. | ||
| You ever watch her videos of her training and fighting? | ||
| Amanda? | ||
| No, Claressa Shields. | ||
| Claressa Shields is someone who trained a little bit with Cyborg. | ||
| There was some, like, heavy-duty sparring with her and Cyborg leading up to some of Cyborg's fights, because she's as big as Cyborg. | ||
| She's big. | ||
| But all natural. | ||
| You know, and... | ||
| She might be too big for Amanda. | ||
| She's like 20 pounds larger. | ||
| At 45. I think she's a 65 pound champion. | ||
| But like Amanda fought someone who couldn't punch like that. | ||
| If she fought someone that was just like a really good boxer, that's a woman that's also 135 pounds. | ||
| Bro, she might put him on the moon. | ||
| That lady can punch so hard. | ||
| And she can box. | ||
| Like, she might not be boxing like a world champion boxer because she's adding in takedowns and kicks and this and that and all these different things. | ||
| But when you just come to a woman throwing bombs with her hands, she knows how to hit you on the fucking chin. | ||
| And her power is extraordinary. | ||
| Amanda Nunes' power is extraordinary. | ||
| Her fight with Cyborg, those knockdowns, like holy shit. | ||
| She's standing in the pocket with a woman that no one wants to fight. | ||
| In fact, a woman that Jermaine Durandamy, she gave up her title. | ||
| She's like, nah, I'm good. | ||
| You can have it. | ||
| You can keep that money. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| She's like, I'm not fighting that lady. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| She gave up her title. | ||
| So she's never fought Cyborg? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nope. | |
| Not interested. | ||
| Who did I watch her lose to? | ||
| Holly Holm? | ||
| No. | ||
| You should have watched her lose to Holly Holm. | ||
| But they gave her the decision. | ||
| I thought Holly Holm won the fight. | ||
| And I also thought they should have taken a point away from Durandamy. | ||
| Because Durandamy cracked her twice after the bell. | ||
| And one of them was pretty significant. | ||
| She stunned her. | ||
| Yeah, I remember. | ||
| She hit her after the bell twice. | ||
| And also, Holly dropped her twice. | ||
| Holly dropped her with a question mark kick, and Holly also dropped her with a straight left hand. | ||
| I felt like Holly did more damage. | ||
| I feel like those two things, those knockdowns, were big, significant moments in the fight, and she never did that to Holly. | ||
| And then on top of that, Holly should have gotten a point because of that punch after the bell. | ||
| It was like twice, two different times she got struck after the bell. | ||
| So in my eyes, Holly should have won that fight. | ||
| I thought she won anyway. | ||
| I thought she won because of the knockdowns. | ||
| I'm like, you look at that, these significant moments where the other fighter got rocked, that means a lot to me. | ||
| When someone gets dropped with a punch, like hurt, that's a big moment. | ||
| It's not counting enough in some cases. | ||
| People are counting the overall round with things that are kind of even too much. | ||
| But there's also other good fights on that card. | ||
| Marlon Marais Jr., Jose Aldo, Pietra Jan, and Uriah Faber. | ||
| That's a fucking dangerous fight for Faber. | ||
| I think you say Piotra. | ||
| Piotra Jan. | ||
| People used to say Peter, but it's obviously, there's no E. It's P-E-T-R. It's like Fedor. | ||
| Do you know Fedor Milenenko? | ||
| That's not his name. | ||
| His name is Fyodor. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So everybody calls him Fedor, and you're like, well, it's too late. | ||
| The Return of the Immortal. | ||
| Matt Brown. | ||
| Ben Saunders. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Another Columbus, Ohio guy right there. | ||
| Savages. | ||
| Both guys. | ||
| Ben Saunders got a sneaky-ass guard, too. | ||
| First ever Oma Plata ever in the UFC. That guy. | ||
| So it's a lot of great shit, man. | ||
| This weekend. | ||
| So when are you going to come? | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Jeff Neal and Mike Perry. | ||
| Oh, goody! | ||
| That's going to be chaos, too. | ||
| When are you coming again? | ||
| April? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Unless something crazy happens. | ||
| Yoana. | ||
| I don't like to miss Yoana, and I don't like to miss Nate Diaz. | ||
| Yeah, you need some sort of fan, like a t-shirt or something like that. | ||
| For? | ||
| Like a heart with Yoana inside. | ||
| Oh, yeah, for sure. | ||
| Maybe, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Maybe a heart, just a heart with Yoana with her dukes up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I tried to get one of the Joanna Yen-Jacek warm-up jackets sent to me. | ||
| I have to follow up with that guy. | ||
| He sent me an email, I think. | ||
| You gotta order that, Chet. | ||
| You can't ask those Reebok people to hook you up. | ||
| No, I did. | ||
| They told me. | ||
| They forget, man. | ||
| I know, you're right. | ||
| I'll just get it on my own. | ||
| Was it an after party? | ||
| Was everybody drunk? | ||
| No, it was one of the weigh-ins. | ||
| They're like, ah, we want to get that for you. | ||
| Because I'm like, you know where I can go buy it? | ||
| Because I wanted to buy it before our last fight. | ||
| I'm like, you know where I can go buy one? | ||
| They're like, we're not going to let you buy one. | ||
| We'll give it to you. | ||
| Yeah, dude, if you come to the fights in April, you have to wear that the entire weekend. | ||
| For sure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Everywhere we go. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's on. | ||
| I'll wear it on stage if we do shows. | ||
| I'll wear it anywhere. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Let's wrap this up. | ||
| Dude, we've been having a lot of fun on the road, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This has been great. | ||
| Texas was amazing. | ||
| Phoenix was amazing. | ||
| Dallas and Houston. | ||
| We've been having some fun, man. | ||
| That's right, it is. | ||
| You're supposed to say Zhang Weili now versus Ioannion Jacek, targeted for UFC 248, which is Brooklyn. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| Woo! | ||
| That girl's a monster too, man. | ||
| Wei Li is a beast. | ||
| She's so good, man. | ||
| You know, the way she took out Jessica Andrade. | ||
| Jessica Andrade was a tank. | ||
| And she KO'd her. | ||
| Just flatlined her. | ||
| Beat the shit out of her in the first round. | ||
| I was like, woo! | ||
| There's only two people that have Ioana's number. | ||
| That's Rose and me. | ||
| We'll end on that. | ||
| Tony Hinchcliffe. | ||
| Follow him on the Instagram and on the Twitter. | ||
| Kill Tony. | ||
| Available on YouTube. | ||
| It's available on... | ||
| Streams every Monday. | ||
| We're touring all around. | ||
| Everywhere. | ||
| TonyHinchcliffe.com. | ||
| TonyHinchcliffe.com. | ||
| Bye, everybody. | ||
| That was fun. |
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