Oct. 2, 2019 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:07:08
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Well, Joe, it's so great to see you. | ||
| Great to see you, too. | ||
| I love the sunglasses. | ||
| Aren't they the coolest? | ||
| They're perfect. | ||
| Okay, I thought I was getting the coolest ones, but then my friends who were shopping with me, they came running back and they were like, uh-uh, uh-uh, don't pay yet, don't pay yet. | ||
| Honey, take a look at these. | ||
| And I looked, and there's a separation between the frame. | ||
| Right. | ||
| See, you want to look? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I did my own eye makeup, so it's a mess. | ||
| I couldn't get anybody to fix my makeup today. | ||
| What's the benefit of the separation? | ||
| Fucking art! | ||
| Just looks dope. | ||
| Fuck yeah! | ||
| I get it. | ||
| You got a little bit of brow peeping through. | ||
| I see. | ||
| See? | ||
| I like them a lot. | ||
| They're very cool. | ||
| And look at the pink or flesh or whatever you call this. | ||
| That's my color. | ||
| I like the bracelet too. | ||
| The pink one? | ||
| That's jamming. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The pink one. | |
| It's pretty dope. | ||
| I've had it for a long, long time. | ||
| Like Phyllis Diller, I just collect weird costumes, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And just wear them in the house. | ||
| But I decided to start wearing them out more now. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| Yeah, it's fun. | ||
| It works. | ||
| You can pull it off for sure. | ||
| I like the hair now too. | ||
| You're all blonde now. | ||
| Hells yeah. | ||
| Yeah, you're all Debbie Harry. | ||
| I'm all going rock star now. | ||
| Because I'm like, okay, well, you know, whatever. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Nothing can ever stop me because I'm a comic, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Nothing can stop us. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Because we have some fucking weird DNA bend that we just have to get the fucking last laugh, right? | ||
| We have to get the laugh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And so I have to. | ||
| I'm just glad you're back to stand-up, too. | ||
| I'm really, really excited about that. | ||
| I don't know about that. | ||
| It wasn't sparking joy, as that woman says. | ||
| She says, if you're doing anything in your life that is not sparking joy, then fuck it. | ||
| Who said that? | ||
| That lady that tells you to throw out your clothes that don't spark joy. | ||
| Oh, is she like a minimalist lady? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| She's on the internet. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| She's really helped me because I'm a hoarder. | ||
| Yeah, me too, a little bit. | ||
| Are you? | ||
| I've got a lot of knick-knacks and stuff that I save. | ||
| But were you saying that stand-up wasn't sparking joy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When was this? | ||
| It wasn't sparking joy. | ||
| In the past? | ||
| Yeah, in the last few, you know, in a while. | ||
| Because I'm so nervous. | ||
| It's like, oh my God. | ||
| I get so nervous because I don't really know... | ||
| I don't really know anymore, you know? | ||
| The funny moved. | ||
| I see what you're saying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It does. | ||
| And like I was saying, I need a line, one killer line, one killer opening line that encapsulates the entire year I've just lived through. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| I need that kind of a line or it's not going to work for me, you know? | ||
| Because everybody knows something happened. | ||
| Sure, yeah. | ||
| And I just don't talk about it that much besides calling everybody a bitch and shit, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Do you ever work with writers? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Me? | |
| Like stand-up writers? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, I want to, but all my friends are dead. | ||
| Co-writing comic friends are dead. | ||
| I'm sure we can connect you to somebody. | ||
| Or they moved to Israel and became Chabad. | ||
| You know who would be great? | ||
| Who? | ||
| Tony Hinchcliffe. | ||
| Who's that? | ||
| He's hilarious. | ||
| How old? | ||
| He's a great comic. | ||
| He's 36? | ||
| Oh, that's a good age. | ||
| 35? | ||
| 36? | ||
| That's a good age. | ||
| Oh, he's really funny. | ||
| Really? | ||
| He sees things weird? | ||
| Fantastic joke writer, and he writes for Roasts all the time. | ||
| He's a big roast writer. | ||
| Oh, Roasts are the best jokes. | ||
| Oh, I love roast jokes. | ||
| I would love to connect you with him. | ||
| I would love that if you would. | ||
| And help you coalesce your thoughts. | ||
| You know, the comics that like me, you know, Push this mic up to you. | ||
| A little closer to you. | ||
| There we go. | ||
| The comics that like me. | ||
| Everybody likes you. | ||
| Well, I know that. | ||
| Comics do. | ||
| Yeah, the comics. | ||
| Well, some don't like me. | ||
| Well, they're silly. | ||
| Yeah, well, some's bitches and they're looking for a fucking smackdown. | ||
| I say this every podcast. | ||
| And believe me, when the day comes, they will get their fucking smackdown from me, Joe. | ||
| I believe you. | ||
| And it will not be like no smackdown they've ever had before in their privileged fucking little lives. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| This will be, you're going to raise your kids on welfare when I'm done with your ass. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| Kind of thing, because I was raised on welfare. | ||
| I was as well. | ||
| Were you? | ||
| Yeah, well, until we were like 13, 14. Did you get the government cheese? | ||
| We did. | ||
| We didn't get the government cheese. | ||
| My dad used to take that whole five-pound brick of cheese. | ||
| You know, my dad was the greatest comic. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, but crazy, like never knowing when to stop because it stops being funny at a certain point. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But keep pushing it and pushing it until somebody slaps you down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's that DNA thing that comics have. | ||
| It's bad. | ||
| It is bad. | ||
| Like my friend Sue Mengers, remember her, Joe? | ||
| Sue Mengers, I do know the name. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, she was in that kindersport, whatever it was, where they moved these Jewish children from Germany to England, kindersport or something, to save them. | ||
| And she was one of those. | ||
| And her dad was a comic in Germany. | ||
| And it's just so weird how things go round and round, and we'll get to what we're going to talk about today. | ||
| But her dad was a comic in Germany, you know, real funny, real popular. | ||
| And Hitler came and took over, and he kept on telling the jokes, you know. | ||
| He was telling the jokes wherever he went, every little club doing the jokes. | ||
| And he was warned, don't, you know, switch up your joke, man. | ||
| If you want to keep working, switch that joke up to be, you know, not what you're saying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he wouldn't do it. | ||
| And she said he even got louder and he was arrested and, of course, murdered in Auschwitz, but she lived. | ||
| And I said, what would you say to your dad now? | ||
| She said, you know, at a certain point it fucking stops being funny. | ||
| Do something different, you know. | ||
| Don't write it to the destructo. | ||
| Don't go all the fucking else way over, you know. | ||
| Try staying in the middle. | ||
| Don't destruct yourself for comedy. | ||
| Isn't that the problem with some comics? | ||
| We don't really know where the line is until you cross it. | ||
| And then you go, oh, I fucked up. | ||
| I crossed the line. | ||
| But you're just trying to be funny. | ||
| And that's something that I think that non-comics don't really understand. | ||
| When a comic fucks up, makes a mistake, they're just trying to be funny. | ||
| They're not trying to be mean. | ||
| And they just missed. | ||
| They missed. | ||
| And it happens all the time because you're... | ||
| You're ad-libbing. | ||
| You're basically improvising. | ||
| And that's a lot of what comedy is, is improvising a line and trying to say something. | ||
| And in the moment, you might think it's funny, but if you had more time to think about it, you might have said, I shouldn't say it that way. | ||
| People are going to get it wrong. | ||
| Or maybe I should re-correct myself. | ||
| But... | ||
| But that's when you start being not funny, because self-censorship, that's how they want us to be. | ||
| They want us to always be like, should I say this or shouldn't I say this? | ||
| And just like her dad there in Germany, should I say this or should I say that? | ||
| Or instead of, I guess, the more intelligent of us go, how can I... Say this and reach people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because, you know, the people are thinking just like you because they're people too. | ||
| But we're not ruled by people. | ||
| Let's really get into it now. | ||
| Okay, let's get into it. | ||
| Who are we ruled by? | ||
| Artificial intelligence. | ||
| Already? | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| It's been an experiment for almost 700 years. | ||
| 700 years? | ||
| Yeah, more. | ||
| Did you see today, Joe, it was the biggest news I've ever seen in my life. | ||
| And I didn't get a chance to vet it. | ||
| Okay, I'm not going to say it, but I did see it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Please say it. | |
| We'll vet it ourselves on the show. | ||
| Okay, I saw a lot of these Christians out there, I mean, they're really connected in with the whole Q thing. | ||
| Have you noticed that? | ||
| Q and on? | ||
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
| Just Q. What is Q? 17. Can you explain it to people? | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| 17. 17, like the letter Q? Uh-huh. | ||
| And that means eight, and then you reduce that down to two and reduce it to one. | ||
| You know, it's a mystical thing. | ||
| Oh, so it's like a numerology type thing? | ||
| Yeah, everything's numbers. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And everything is like appreciating the numbers, and that's why I told you there's this whole process to smoking a cigar. | ||
| You don't just go like this. | ||
| You have to sense it, smell it, hold it. | ||
| I believe I'll have a light now, Joe. | ||
| Okay, here you go. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Dang, I love cigars. | ||
| No one's going to get mad at me for giving you a cigar, are they? | ||
| No. | ||
| No? | ||
| You're okay with that? | ||
| Yeah, because you don't inhale. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| I just can't do cigarettes. | ||
| But I'm going to start on cigars because they last a hell of a lot longer than a cigarette. | ||
| And they never go out. | ||
| You smoke about half of one per day. | ||
| When did you stop with the cigarettes? | ||
| Because last time you were here you were chain smoking. | ||
| I was smoking three packs. | ||
| You were smoking three packs a day? | ||
| And this was right after all the bullshit went down? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I needed a smokescreen between myself and the world. | ||
| That's what my psychic counselor said. | ||
| You have a psychic counselor? | ||
| Well, it's my daughter, but she's a psychic counselor. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| No worries. | ||
| So they say shit like that, the youth. | ||
| See, they're on another wavelength. | ||
| That's a good idea, though, to have a smokescreen. | ||
| Or glasses. | ||
| Glasses kind of feel like that to me sometimes. | ||
| If I have sunglasses on, I feel like I can maneuver through crowds better. | ||
| Of course you can, because you're protecting your eyeballs, because everything goes through your eyes. | ||
| Like those things, those worms that they got now, they go right through your eyes. | ||
| You know what I'm talking about, right? | ||
| Oh, Jamie does. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you? | |
| He's all about eyeball worms. | ||
| Let's see how schooled you are in this shit. | ||
| Well, let's go back to the 700-year AI thing first. | ||
| I don't want to lose that. | ||
| We've been ruled by artificial intelligence for 700 years? | ||
| Probably longer. | ||
| Is this like alien shit? | ||
| Since the days of Babylonia. | ||
| Well, it's Babylon. | ||
| It's all Babylon. | ||
| Babylon. | ||
| Chant down Babylon, you know? | ||
| It's Babylon. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's like Iraq, right? | ||
| Sumer, Mesopotamia, that whole part of the world? | ||
| Well, it's not really part of the world so much as it's part of the brain and the memory now. | ||
| Where was Babylon, though? | ||
| Because it's changed now. | ||
| Was it? | ||
| It's over there somewhere. | ||
| In the Bible, as they say. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It's in the Bible. | ||
| I just don't exactly know what part of the world. | ||
| It's the Middle East. | ||
| Iraq? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And Iran. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| What a crazy part of the world. | ||
| You know, I mean, what an amazing history that part of the world has. | ||
| And still is having. | ||
| It's such a shame. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Still is having. | ||
| As per my tweet, which was mischaracterized by people of low intellect is what I'm saying now instead of fucking idiot motherfuckers. | ||
| I don't say that anymore. | ||
| Now I say those of lower intellect is, I think. | ||
| You know what I think big part of what's going on? | ||
| It was about Iran and the people's spite in Iran of which I'm so... | ||
| I'm thrilled and supportive for the people, the working people of Iran who want to overthrow their ruling class mullahs who, you know, control the way they think, do and say in every aspect, particularly for women. | ||
| And that's getting ready to go. | ||
| And I hope Trump helps push that a little bit further, too, because everybody wants freedom now. | ||
| From Hong Kong to Tehran. | ||
| The Hong Kong riots are insane. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| I can't believe what's going on. | ||
| The strength of the human spirit. | ||
| It blows me away. | ||
| Well, they've been rioting for so long now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, it's not slowing down at all. | ||
| 17 weeks of rioting. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
17. Everything's 17. Everything's 17? | |
| You'll find out sooner. | ||
| It's just in the airline. | ||
| So is 11. Did you ever notice that about 11? | ||
| Every time you look at your clock, it's something 11. Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A lot of people. | |
| What does that mean? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It just is. | ||
| I don't know what it means. | ||
| Just look at my watch and it's always like, more times than not, something 11. What does it mean to you though? | ||
| Just that, hey, there's that shit again. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Something's going on. | ||
| Just like a reminder. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| That there's a pattern to this. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's just there again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| There it is. | ||
| It's like something synchronicitous. | ||
| Synchronicitous is a great word. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I hope it is. | |
| Synchronicitous. | ||
| It is now. | ||
| Put it in the dictionary, urban dictionary. | ||
| Trademark that. | ||
| That's the beautiful thing about urban dictionary, right? | ||
| You can just make up new words. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God, I love it. | |
| And I love making up words. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| I never have, though. | ||
| I don't think I made one up, but I like it when other people do. | ||
| I've fucked words up before, but I never stuck with them. | ||
| Synchronicitous? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's legit. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| My pleasure. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| That means a lot to me. | ||
| So, 700 years of us being controlled by... | ||
| The Babylon thing, the whole descent of Babylon, which itself is artificial intelligence, and the Tower of Babel, which is the Tower of Artificial Intelligence, where everybody was trying to go higher and higher in the pyramid and the hierarchy. | ||
| Where there's only like a certain percentage of people at the top and billions at the bottom in chains, you know, that pyramid. | ||
| I mean, it's getting over. | ||
| It's tipped now. | ||
| It's over. | ||
| It's not going to work anymore because people got too damn smart. | ||
| And goddamn, I shouldn't say goddamn. | ||
| You can say it. | ||
| Say goddamn. | ||
| Goddamn. | ||
| Smart. | ||
| And I'm so proud of them because, like, keep going, keep going, don't let nothing stop you. | ||
| This is the first time in the human history, and this guy told me this once. | ||
| I have talked to the most interesting people I've ever lived. | ||
| This guy, he was the one that wired all of Mexico for Ted Turner, some shit. | ||
| Some old, big old parties I used to go to before I stayed too long. | ||
| At first, they're fun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But anyways... | |
| But anyways, I forgot what I was saying. | ||
| Oh yeah, he said, we put these satellites, this is the age of miracles, messages bouncing off satellites and appearing in billions of places at once faster than the speed of light. | ||
| And that this would engender a new... | ||
| What do they call it? | ||
| Renaissance in art and everything that, you know, when art gets fucking cool, everything gets cool. | ||
| Buildings, commerce, everything gets creative. | ||
| And it's just a creative, creative time is coming from after this particular time of like a deadening or something where we didn't think. | ||
| But now they can't hold it down. | ||
| This is the first time in history, I said to him, It seems to me like this might be the first time in history where no church or state can keep the facts from the people. | ||
| That is true. | ||
| And he said, yeah, that's true. | ||
| That does feel like this. | ||
| And I mean, that's going to create the most coolest shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like cars that'll fly or something. | ||
| I don't know how it will manifest, but it's high thinking and it's good. | ||
| And the more we see the rot at the bottom, which is everywhere now, You just got to keep looking up. | ||
| Just keep looking up. | ||
| Don't look down when you're on that tightrope. | ||
| That's what they say. | ||
| Never look down when you're walking a tightrope. | ||
| Just keep looking forward and up a little bit. | ||
| Forward and up. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And just keep going. | ||
| It's tough for people right now. | ||
| Whew! | ||
| And I know people are getting censored and what the hell, you know? | ||
| What are we going to do about it? | ||
| You wanted to talk about that. | ||
| It's terrible. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| And we were, as we got here, Jamie was informing me that there's some new YouTube policy that is saying, what was the descriptions of our podcast? | ||
| Number 1357 got a human review with harmful or dangerous acts. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What was the subject? | |
| Do you remember what we talked about? | ||
| We probably joked around about harmful or dangerous acts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, so I mean, it's disgusting, but I think... | |
| I think that they're saying it's in the video of it. | ||
| Like they're saying, is this in your video? | ||
| And I would say no. | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's just discussing it. | |
| So I don't know. | ||
| So can we appeal that or is that it? | ||
| Maybe they want to open a dialogue. | ||
| Oh, that's it? | ||
| That's it. | ||
| It's being appealed through a deeper process right now and we'll wait to see what they say. | ||
| This is a very new thing that just happened within the last two weeks on YouTube, and we're probably one of the first channels to get it. | ||
| Have we had one of our guys look at the video to see if they can find something that they think is harmful? | ||
| Yeah, you should research and find out what exactly... | ||
| It was broken into clips and put on the clips channel, and those were all allowed. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If it was a different person that looked at it. | |
| A different person probably. | ||
| So it's subjective then maybe. | ||
| I have to say I'm rather staggered at what they allow and don't allow. | ||
| I am so glad I'm fucking old because I'll be passing away from this fucking realm soon enough. | ||
| Please, God. | ||
| Nothing makes any fucking sense. | ||
| It doesn't make sense, but I think it's fascinating. | ||
| It's interesting to watch all these different people scrambling for control. | ||
| Is that what they're doing? | ||
| Yeah, they're scrambling for control. | ||
| They want to control the way people communicate. | ||
| And they also want to make a profit. | ||
| See, part of this is they're incentivizing people to do shows that they can profit off of. | ||
| So if you have a show that has no bad language, if you have a show that has no controversial topics, those shows are more appealing to advertisers. | ||
| So for them, as a business, they'll look at someone like me and say, well, this is a limited advertiser option. | ||
| But I just think they're looking at it incorrectly. | ||
| If you looked at the popularity of it, you'd say, well, there's a lot of people that are paying attention to this. | ||
| Just find the right ads. | ||
| Find ads for, I don't know, find ads for shit that's a little bit more risky. | ||
| I don't know what that would be. | ||
| Corvettes, whiskey, I don't know. | ||
| Whatever the fuck you want to sell. | ||
| But it's not like we're not saying dangerous things like encouraging people to do harmful things or asking people to do illegal things. | ||
| We're just people talking. | ||
| You must have done something. | ||
| Maybe you don't realize it. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think what it's more like is they've got very rigid ideas of what is or is not suitable for advertising. | ||
| And maybe this is coming down from the ad executives, maybe this is coming down from the people that are at the top that have a much more progressive stance on things, what you'd call progressive. | ||
| I would say like hard left, like a more hard left stance. | ||
| You mean censors? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of that. | ||
| And they think it's okay. | ||
| There's a lot of people that are getting censored that are not just people that are on the right, which I'm not on the right, but people that are... | ||
| In the middle? | ||
| I'm certainly more in the middle. | ||
| I just came from a gun range. | ||
| Check it out. | ||
| That's who's getting it. | ||
| That's who's getting the acts are people in the middle because it is a war between those two far right and far left factions. | ||
| And they're so similar. | ||
| To control labor. | ||
| Well, they control the way people communicate and talk, too. | ||
| It's just people like controlling people. | ||
| It's a natural thing. | ||
| People want other people to comply. | ||
| When you see all these riots and these protests where people are screaming at each other, they want power. | ||
| I mean, whether it makes any sense or not, it's not like these people are in a position to actually do anything with that power, but they want people to comply. | ||
| When they're yelling at someone, they want people to decide that this person's good or this person's bad or they're right or they're wrong. | ||
| I mean, this is what a lot of it is. | ||
| It's a psychological game. | ||
| it's just a it's a social experiment i don't know if it's an experiment but it's the whole country is an experiment in self-government right and this is an experiment in self-expression because this is the first time that anyone like uh sally montgomery whatever and pick a name this lady can start a youtube channel and make a lot of sense start talking some shit and be funny | ||
| and all of a sudden she's got 20 million subscribers and she's making a ton of loot but maybe she starts talking shit about things and And maybe Sally likes to joke around about certain things and they'll just decide, well, this is not suitable for advertising or this is dangerous or harmful. | ||
| And what people decide is harmful and isn't harmful, the problem is this is not First Amendment, right? | ||
| In their defense, they're not keeping me from saying these things, but they're incentivizing you to not say these things by costing you money. | ||
| Now the question is, are they doing this because they just want to maximize their profits, and this is just how the deals that they have with advertisers, or are they doing it because of their personal views on what you're saying? | ||
| And that's where things get squirrely, right? | ||
| When a person tells you personally, Roseanne, I don't like the way you talk about The country or about liberals or about this or about that. | ||
| So we're going to try to silence your voice. | ||
| There's a lot of that happening too, whether people like it or not. | ||
| Yeah, there has been for a really long time. | ||
| But there's also a lot of left-wing journalists that are getting silenced. | ||
| There's a lot of people that are independent journalists that are getting pushed out. | ||
| It's like Tulsi Gabbard, she's a liberal, she's a Democrat, but she's also served overseas, two deployments, and she's a six-year veteran, more than a six-year veteran, a six-year congresswoman. | ||
| She's getting censored. | ||
| She's suing Google. | ||
| So they're not just going after people that are on the right. | ||
| Obviously, she's on the left. | ||
| She's running as a Democratic candidate for president. | ||
| She's suing them because they censored her search results. | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
| I don't know enough about all that. | ||
| There's no way I could. | ||
| Well, they also hold people's numbers of followers down. | ||
| They can flip a switch and you lose followers. | ||
| Yeah, they can shadow ban you. | ||
| Yeah, everybody's shadow. | ||
| Everyone I know is shadow banned, so what? | ||
| Well, Santino actually had a conversation. | ||
| Are people doing it for the advertising money? | ||
| That's what I ask myself. | ||
| I don't make a dime, and I've been at it for 20 years. | ||
| I mean, I don't make a dime. | ||
| In fact, every time I open my mouth, I cost myself some money. | ||
| You mean on social media? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so, of course, I won't be on there anymore. | ||
| Roseanne, you need a goddamn podcast. | ||
| I know, Joe, I'm trying to get it, but people do not know what to tell me what to do. | ||
| Well, I can help you. | ||
| I told you, I need someone to tell me what to do. | ||
| You're in the right place. | ||
| Because I really need to tell people what's going on and they don't even know. | ||
| But I know because I did the reading for them. | ||
| And I mean, this is all just a social experiment to see how far they can push us. | ||
| Let's make that happen. | ||
| Away from each other. | ||
| And away from any kind of possible power we could have to coalesce and go, wait a minute, you guys are not going to take any more of our money for your fucking travels. | ||
| Hey, bitch. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Bitch. | ||
| Uh-uh. | ||
| No. | ||
| You can't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-uh. | |
| No. | ||
| It was not in the public sphere. | ||
| When she said it was in the public sphere. | ||
| Who was she? | ||
| Nancy. | ||
| Nancy Pelosi? | ||
| Oh. | ||
| It was not in the public sphere. | ||
| Goddamn Nancy. | ||
| Oh, Nancy. | ||
| What did she do? | ||
| Nancy is on my last nerve. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What did she do? | |
| I've been saying it for 10 years, too. | ||
| Nancy, you're on my last nerve. | ||
| You've got a lot to answer for. | ||
| In San Francisco, what you have allowed on the streets there to the homeless people. | ||
| It's disgusting. | ||
| I go up there and I am disgusted. | ||
| It's crazy right now. | ||
| I don't think most people know how bad it is. | ||
| People are living in shit and filth. | ||
| Their children around drug addicts dying in the fucking streets of the richest financial district on the West Coast. | ||
| Where's that money going? | ||
| I And then Laura Loomer went up to Nancy's Vineyard trying to find her. | ||
| It's like, if you guys don't get yet that it don't matter who the president is, it's all a fucking scam to put public money into private pockets and nothing else. | ||
| You're being robbed and nothing else. | ||
| And they're both doing it. | ||
| Both parties, both sides, both up and down. | ||
| It's about the American people. | ||
| We have got to go to Washington. | ||
| You know that movie Mr. Smith? | ||
| I think about we all need to be Mr. Smith and all go to Washington. | ||
| It's like this is our government and that is our tax money. | ||
| And it will be audited as Trump has promised. | ||
| And as long as President Trump continues to make the moves to keep that promise to us, I will be supportive of him because that needs to happen. | ||
| The Federal Reserve must be audited. | ||
| And we have to thank President Trump for going in that direction. | ||
| How much time do you spend thinking about this stuff? | ||
| 18 hours a day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| My kids, everyone's mad at me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, I have to figure it out. | |
| It makes no sense. | ||
| Otherwise, I mean, people have to help me understand what I've done. | ||
| You need a co-host. | ||
| You need like a journalist. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I need a psychiatrist. | |
| A journalist? | ||
| A good idea. | ||
| Yeah, someone's going to sit with you. | ||
| Tiffany McHenry. | ||
| Who's that? | ||
| Tiffany McFitz Henry. | ||
| I can't remember. | ||
| It's Fitz Henry. | ||
| He'll find it. | ||
| Tiff. | ||
| Tiff. | ||
| I want her for my co-host. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is she doing? | |
| Oh, shit! | ||
| What does she do? | ||
| She can uncover anything. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| She's like, oh, here it is. | ||
| Oh, he was arrested in 1922 when he had this and that. | ||
| John Bolton, blah, blah. | ||
| She gets it all. | ||
| All declassified. | ||
| The government's own shit. | ||
| You have to make it up. | ||
| Freedom of Information Act stuff. | ||
| It's the greatest story never told, the story of this country. | ||
| It's phenomenal! | ||
| I'd like to see somebody make a movie on it. | ||
| Talk to Oliver Stone. | ||
| He seems like the guy for that. | ||
| I have talked to him before. | ||
| Did you? | ||
| He's so left. | ||
| I'm like, give it a rest, huh? | ||
| Too left. | ||
| Give it a rest. | ||
| It's not about that. | ||
| You're not going to have your one fucking commie world, you dumb bastard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Back off. | |
| You got billions. | ||
| Go away. | ||
| Erase somebody's fucking wage. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shut up. | |
| Pay your people decent. | ||
| For fuck's sake. | ||
| Let's start there. | ||
| He doesn't pay his people decent? | ||
| Well, I don't know that. | ||
| But I'm just saying, if he didn't, it would be wrong. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I'm just sick of people's hypocrisy. | ||
| I understand. | ||
| Just help people get their... | ||
| They're fucking money back that belongs to them, like public money. | ||
| That's for roads, streets, hospitals, schools, okay? | ||
| Public money. | ||
| When they give it to private contractors to go to, you know, where they go, you know, move guns and shit all around the world, that means, like Eisenhower said, that's one less high school for the kids. | ||
| Come on, we're going to be the kind of a country that leads the world. | ||
| We cannot... | ||
| We cannot be imperialist, one-world fascist. | ||
| It won't work. | ||
| We have to do something else. | ||
| So we can't be one-world fascist? | ||
| No! | ||
| You mean like one-world government? | ||
| No! | ||
| Leave people the fuck alone! | ||
| Leave the tribal people in the Middle East to live where they've lived forever! | ||
| And if you can't, then separate them. | ||
| Separate them. | ||
| Yeah, if they can't live together, then don't force them to live together. | ||
| Like what people are you talking about? | ||
| Like the Palestinians and the Israelis? | ||
| Like that kind of deal? | ||
| Well, in Israel, the Arab population is very well integrated, so I don't mean Israel. | ||
| But out of Israel, they're not very well integrated. | ||
| Because they just get their money from bullshit propaganda peddled by the left. | ||
| But the people on the ground are what I'm saying. | ||
| The people on the ground are the ones that matter to me. | ||
| And if you can live together, then live together. | ||
| That's great! | ||
| And if you can't, then don't. | ||
| Nobody can force you. | ||
| To live with people who want you dead. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| That's Auschwitz. | ||
| Are you shitting me? | ||
| I'm not going to live with people that want you dead. | ||
| I'm not sure what you're referring to, though. | ||
| I'm referring to the entire world. | ||
| The whole world. | ||
| The entire fucking world. | ||
| Led by, you know... | ||
| Bad ideas, man, that haven't worked this far. | ||
| It's going to have to be something new that actually works for the people in the world, not just the people at the top. | ||
| Like, do you have any suggestions? | ||
| Of course! | ||
| I'd love to hear them. | ||
| Like, what do you think you should do? | ||
| Well, when I ran for president, I had my solutions. | ||
| What's your solution? | ||
| Well, I have to tell you, Jill, when I was a little girl, uh... | ||
| I made a promise to myself, I guess, and the cosmos and God and everything, that I was not ever going to... | ||
| I was going to keep trying to know. | ||
| No matter what, I was going to keep trying to know. | ||
| And know something new. | ||
| Know something new and different. | ||
| Like what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Um... | |
| How to create a world where something like Auschwitz doesn't exist. | ||
| And even the thought of it doesn't exist. | ||
| But you really can't. | ||
| Because I think when you read about Western society and all of that, you're like, maybe that's where it leads. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, it seems like throughout history there's been evil governments. | ||
| There's been certain evil organizations that have done horrific things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like way back to, as far as we know, from Rome to the Inquisition to the Mongols to the, you know... | ||
| I mean, there's been horrific things done by human beings. | ||
| And one of the things about knowing about things like Auschwitz is it lets us know that even though things in this country right now are relatively great in comparison to the rest of the world, relatively great in comparison to some parts of the world that are war-torn and terrible right now, It could go bad. | ||
| It could go bad because that's what humans are capable of. | ||
| Humans are capable when they're led by the wrong ideology, when they're cult-minded, when they're all in. | ||
| They can do some terrible, awful things, and we need to know that. | ||
| And it's one of the things about having something like Auschwitz in our history that we know that that's possible. | ||
| Well, we know that you can convince people of anything. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| We know that. | ||
| Yes, for sure. | ||
| And if you, like he said, if you tell a lie, if you make it big enough and tell it often enough, everybody will believe it. | ||
| Well, if you just keep talking. | ||
| One of the things that I think is really interesting about the internet today is you're seeing groups of people that are connected to groups of people. | ||
| And for sure this podcast is guilty of it in a certain way, although it's unintentional. | ||
| But there are people out there that are essentially running online cults. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's not hard to do. | ||
| No, it's not hard to do. | ||
| It's not hard to do. | ||
| People love a leader. | ||
| We have an inherent desire to be a part of a tribe. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, because we're tribal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But look, I have a goddamn American flag behind me. | ||
| I mean, there's a reason for that. | ||
| I love America. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I love the idea of it. | ||
| The idea of freedom, self-expression. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| This is one of the rare places on earth where you can come here with fuck all and really make something out of yourself. | ||
| There's no caste system here. | ||
| We celebrate people that are poor. | ||
| That make it to become huge. | ||
| Look at all the entertainers and singers, rock and roll people. | ||
| I believe that basically because, you know, basically I'm still like I always was. | ||
| People think, oh, you're no longer a socialist. | ||
| Well, I'm not going to call it socialism anymore. | ||
| You know, I ran as a socialist candidate in 2012. What's changed? | ||
| For the Peace and Freedom Party. | ||
| There's a Peace and Freedom Party? | ||
| Yeah, in California. | ||
| Who's opposing that? | ||
| That's a good move. | ||
| Call yourself the Peace and Freedom Party. | ||
| No one can say I oppose Peace and Freedom. | ||
| Well, it was the Party of the Black Panthers in San Francisco. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| And so that was very important for me to run on there like with Dick Gregory. | ||
| He's the first comic that did it. | ||
| I love Dick Gregory. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| He was a mentor to me. | ||
| And so I did it because Dick Gregory did it. | ||
| And I wanted to be worthy of talking to Dick Gregory and saying the right things and kind of glad he wasn't around. | ||
| I hope he wasn't around when they start calling me a racist. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, he's the guy that brought the Kennedy assassination film to Geraldo Rivera. | ||
| He brought the Zapruder film. | ||
| I know. | ||
| To television. | ||
| I mean, he's a very important guy. | ||
| Remember when he was fat? | ||
| He was fat for a little bit. | ||
| Then he became like a vegetarian, right? | ||
| And then a fruitarian or something. | ||
| He started having like a Bahamian diet. | ||
| His sons are good people and stay in touch a little bit. | ||
| I said, I bet your dad's haunting you guys. | ||
| I can't see him being quiet up there. | ||
| They said things happen where they wonder if it isn't their dad. | ||
| He's one of those guys that I really feel sad that I didn't get a chance to meet him. | ||
| I fucked up. | ||
| He had a mind like, wow, that was like two centuries. | ||
| Looking at him was going back centuries, you know, just the storehouse of information he had in his brain of history, the kind of history we never hear. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And now I feel sorry for the kids in school these days because they don't hear any real history at all. | ||
| It's almost like there's too much information at their fingertips. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| There's a poverty of information because there's an overwhelming amount of stuff that's coming their way. | ||
| It's hard for them to figure out what's important. | ||
| I don't think that school is the way that most people learn correctly because I think it's too rigid and limiting. | ||
| But one thing at least is school gives you a core set of a base of knowledge that you need to learn. | ||
| You need to learn some American history. | ||
| You need to learn some world history. | ||
| You need to learn some science. | ||
| I think having that core foundation of information, there's a lot of kids that are just really lacking that today. | ||
| If they're not paying attention in school, they're just fucking off and they're Googling things on the internet and And they go in one ear and out the other after the test is over. | ||
| They don't remember any of it because they're not really interested by it. | ||
| I'm like that. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| When I'm interested in things, I retain them. | ||
| But when I don't give up my – someone will say something to me and if I don't care, it's gone. | ||
| Like I couldn't for my life tell you what you just said 30 seconds ago. | ||
| Me either. | ||
| I don't even remember what I said. | ||
| But if someone says something that's really significant to me and it means a lot, I can remember it forever. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I can pull up... | ||
| Like after this whole thing today, what I'll remember is, he said he liked my hair. | ||
| Roseanne, you know I love you. | ||
| I love everything about you. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| I love you too. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Look, first of all, you really could and should do a podcast, and we can definitely help you. | ||
| I can connect you with people that'll make it a plug-and-play thing, where it's real easy. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Are you staying here now? | ||
| Are you in Hawaii? | ||
| Well, that's the problem, is I go back and forth, because my kids make me come and babysit all the time. | ||
| But that's not hard. | ||
| You just get someone to set it up. | ||
| My grandkids get the best pot, so I do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha ha ha! | |
| What is the best pot these days? | ||
| There's so much pot. | ||
| It's hard to say. | ||
| I don't even know what bad pot is anymore. | ||
| Well, now that it's being sold on every street corner out here, it's like heaven. | ||
| The only issue is, there's a guy named John Norris, and he was working for the Department of Fish and Game as a game warden, and he started stumbling upon these illegal cartel grow-ops. | ||
| Oh, yeah, I heard about that. | ||
| Apparently some crazy number, like between 80 and 90% of all the illegal marijuana that's sold in this country is coming from cartel grow-ops, or similar illegal grow-ops where they use dangerous pesticides. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Pesticides are good. | ||
| So there's a movement right now for people to test marijuana. | ||
| And in fact, my friend Todd is actually starting a business doing this where they want to check marijuana plants and make sure, inspect the stuff that people are growing to make sure there's no harmful chemicals or pesticides. | ||
| Because they're using this stuff to keep animals away, to keep bugs from eating the leaves. | ||
| And then you can smoke that stuff and it's toxic. | ||
| Yeah, because that's what they're saying about fentanyl. | ||
| They're just bringing that in. | ||
| And the people that can't get their drugs anymore because it's too expensive, those prescription painkillers. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And fentanyl is way stronger. | ||
| It's way smaller. | ||
| And it kills people so bad. | ||
| A guy was telling me that cops, where he works, have to wear gloves when they're handling people at overdose. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| Because they're literally getting it through the pores of the skin of the people that are overdosing. | ||
| That's how potent this shit is. | ||
| So if you grab some sweaty guy who's overdosing and you're a cop and you have bare hands and that sweat gets in your hands, you literally can get fucked up from that fentanyl. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| This is insane. | ||
| So they're wearing special gloves. | ||
| What's it made out of? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's just an incredibly potent opiate. | ||
| So it's made out of poppies? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think it's completely synthetic. | ||
| It is? | ||
| I think it's completely synthetic. | ||
| And they're always releasing new and more potent versions of it. | ||
| There's just a massive profit margin in making drugs that people like, whether they're illegal drugs or legal drugs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, we make this big distinction about illegal or legal. | ||
| The good thing about the legal ones is they don't come with violence. | ||
| It doesn't come with cartels. | ||
| But still, you're killing people. | ||
| People are dying left and right from legal drugs, from an overused, overprescribed amount of legal drugs. | ||
| And there's so many legal drugs that could fucking kill you dead. | ||
| I think everything's just a crime syndicate. | ||
| And basically, it's just a distribution channel, which means roads and trucks. | ||
| And like union, you know, it used to be unions. | ||
| But, you know, they probably don't really keep tabs on which comes in legal and which comes in illegal. | ||
| Maybe they do, but they probably come on the same plane from Afghanistan. | ||
| That's what they say. | ||
| Come on, it's all like crime is a whole economy. | ||
| It's all fine. | ||
| I don't think there's anything people do to live that could be wrong. | ||
| I just think we could be really smart and organize it better, like we could create a whole new thing since we have all these computers and intelligence open to us and available to us, plus the thinkers that know how to program those and programmers plus the thinkers that know how to program those and programmers and all those people that know about zero and one and Mm-hmm. | ||
| Just fucking invent something way better that helps people. | ||
| And I know people have the brains to do that in about an hour. | ||
| If somebody, I'll be that leader, I mean if that's called for, somebody just has to tell them to do it, I think. | ||
| I think people need to figure out a way to profit off helping people. | ||
| That's where things would get good. | ||
| Here's how you'll profit. | ||
| I know, but fuck that, that's all going to go. | ||
| There's not going to be any more money. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| I just don't think there's going to be any more money. | ||
| You know about this Google quantum computing shit? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This Google quantum computing thing, they think it's a huge threat to cryptocurrency. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm too stupid to understand whether or not they're right, but... | ||
| I'm way too uninformed, too. | ||
| But what they're trying to say is that there's no way you would be able to encode or encrypt this information that would keep it from this insane computing power that they're developing. | ||
| Yeah, there is. | ||
| There is? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a way to get around all of it. | ||
| And I don't know why I'm like... | ||
| I mean, I know I'm on the autism spectrum. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, a lot of us autistic people, we just started talking to each other on the internet quite a while ago about, like, hey... | ||
| Let's try to envision solutions to everyday problems that actually people face and that threaten them and see what we can come up with. | ||
| And so there's whole websites about it. | ||
| And I wish I had them, but I will post them after I do the fucking research. | ||
| So I can't get a goddamn assistant to do any goddamn research. | ||
| Why can't you get an assistant? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Who's that journalist lady she was asking about? | ||
| Did you find her? | ||
| Tiffany. | ||
| Tiffany? | ||
| Who is it? | ||
| She had just actually tweeted about Roseanne. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Well, she's my friend. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| I was like, that is crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I thought it was crazy for a second. | |
| I was like, that's crazy. | ||
| No, we've been friends for a number of years. | ||
| Where's Tiffany live? | ||
| She lives down there in the south. | ||
| Well, I don't know if she wants me to say. | ||
| Well, don't say. | ||
| But we could always do it remotely. | ||
| Down in the south. | ||
| Oh, she might. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You can set it up remotely. | ||
| She's all over the internet. | ||
| Well, with today's video. | ||
| She writes some good shit. | ||
| Like, did you see her story on George Clooney? | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't know anything about her. | ||
| And that billion dollar tequila he was selling with Randy Gerber, they got it added up to being worth one billion dollars by that company that owns the most liquor stores in the world and roads and trucks and blah, blah. | ||
| You know, their distribution channel is a good one. | ||
| A billion! | ||
| And the stuff they make tequila with, well, you'll have to read the article. | ||
| It's for people who fancied themselves progressive, and then when their eyes beheld what the left actually does with its invested money, their eyes bug out. | ||
| What is he doing with this tequila money? | ||
| Well, it's not what he did doing with it. | ||
| It's how they valued it. | ||
| It's like it just shows you how corrupt everything is. | ||
| Everything is totally a fucking scam. | ||
| I'm confused because it's just like a successful tequila business, right? | ||
| Is there something wrong with the way they're doing it? | ||
| In some ways, some people are saying, you know, that the recipe, it's grown in families for generations. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it's to their – it's like a Walmart kind of deal. | ||
| To their demise, you know, the products they use to produce the – Tequilas are like getting waylaid like in a Walmart shopping cart called George Clooney's Company. | ||
| And these families who have lived for generations are getting the screwed-in deals like they do when Walmart comes in the community. | ||
| Okay, I see what you're saying. | ||
| So people who are progressive, they need to know where all that one-worldy crap goes. | ||
| I don't think they know. | ||
| So what you're saying is that he is basically profiting off of the hard work of these people that are remaining poor and they're buying their formula and then using that formula to make that tequila and they're growing everything, but they're making all the profit? | ||
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
| Yeah, I think it's about agave, which is a resource. | ||
| And I think it's about growing that and the native people owning it rather than it being bought out from under them. | ||
| So yeah, it's a whole one world issue. | ||
| Ron White's got a great tequila company. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| You know Ron? | ||
| I don't know him. | ||
| You don't know him? | ||
| No, but I love that he smokes a cigar. | ||
| He's awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is he? | |
| I love him like I love you. | ||
| Really? | ||
| He's a cool guy? | ||
| I think he's funny. | ||
| Salt of the earth. | ||
| Oh, good for him. | ||
| He's amazing. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| But he's got number one tequila. | ||
| He sells his own tequila. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| Isn't it weird when you really get connected and understand that everything's connected, everything else? | ||
| A lot of things are connected. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| See, I just, I'm kind of a, I know I'm a weirdo. | ||
| I know I'm different than other people. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Thank God. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| I always tried to be normal, and it just never worked. | ||
| Nobody as funny as you is ever going to be normal. | ||
| I guess not. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| Yeah, I at one time thought that, but it's quite a lesson to get public censored. | ||
| And it still goes on. | ||
| Is that show still on the air without you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How's it doing? | ||
| Oh, I don't know. | ||
| You don't even pay attention? | ||
| Well, I kind of do now, but I don't know. | ||
| I mean, not really I don't. | ||
| But... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Some people called me and told me to look for something, so I did. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You could do a podcast very easily, and I think if you did, it would be awesome. | ||
| It would be awesome because, you know what? | ||
| After they kicked me off TV and said I was a threat to America and everything. | ||
| They called you a threat to America? | ||
| Well, something like that. | ||
| A threat to Hollywood. | ||
| Everything's a threat to Hollywood right now. | ||
| It seems to be crumbling at the foundations. | ||
| Isn't it great? | ||
| It's horrible, too. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| Well, I love movies, so I'm bummed out. | ||
| But the movies all suck. | ||
| Well, I heard Avatar 2. I'm very excited about that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
John Wick 3 was pretty fucking awesome. | |
| That's my favorite. | ||
| John Wick is my favorite. | ||
| I love that movie. | ||
| I saw it. | ||
| I went with my two sons and we saw it. | ||
| It was awesome! | ||
| I was just at Taron Tactical today where they trained John Wick. | ||
| We were doing the pistol course. | ||
| Shit, really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Keanu Reeves trained John Wick. | ||
| They trained Keanu Reeves. | ||
| There's pictures of him there, yeah, training. | ||
| I've seen videos of him training there, too. | ||
| It's really cool. | ||
| How cool is he? | ||
| He's a really sweet guy. | ||
| He just seems like the nicest guy of all time. | ||
| He just seems like so down-to-earth and normal, like almost too normal, you know? | ||
| That's why he can play John Wick. | ||
| Oh yeah, you totally buy it. | ||
| I love how he does it without any emotion. | ||
| Like my boyfriend said he'd rather die and be tortured to death than to watch anything Hollywood makes. | ||
| He hasn't seen a movie in years. | ||
| Watch John Wick. | ||
| I told him that because he's a animal activist and all that. | ||
| He's real, that guy. | ||
| He's real, like, fucker lied to me. | ||
| He lied to you? | ||
| Jill Stein, fucker. | ||
| He lied to me and told me he was voting for Trump. | ||
| And now it says that that fucker lied. | ||
| But anyway. | ||
| Does he eat meat? | ||
| No. | ||
| No meat at all? | ||
| Fish? | ||
| He eats a little fish. | ||
| A little fish? | ||
| But I said, you would love John Wick, I'm telling you. | ||
| I go, he kills everyone because they killed his dog. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's true. | |
| And that's the greatest line of all time. | ||
| You killed mine. | ||
| I'm like, that was so fucking cool. | ||
| And he goes, what? | ||
| I could almost get into that. | ||
| I go, yeah, he whips their fucking heads off and shits down their throat. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck yeah. | |
| And lets a fucking match and throws it on their car. | ||
| I love it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what I'm talking about. | |
| I want to be in a movie like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Tiffany McFitz Henry, she's a screenwriter and writes... | ||
| You know, movies like that with her partner. | ||
| And I'm like, can't you make a killer granny script for me? | ||
| Because I want to have the gun, you know? | ||
| Like Death Wish with Roseanne. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Death Wish. | |
| Yes. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Death Wish. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| The Jewish version. | ||
| I come in there like this. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Listen here, young man. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| I'm already scared. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| What's this new face? | ||
| That was my grandma. | ||
| That's my grandma. | ||
| That cursed face. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Wow, I sent some memes. | ||
| Your father... | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| He didn't like her neither. | ||
| Really? | ||
| That's a bummer. | ||
| He used to say, hey, call your grandma up in the winter. | ||
| He said, go call your bubby up and tell her to come to the house and visit you kids and tell her to walk down the side where the icicles are so I can crawl out on the roof and fucking hammer it and it will fall down and pierce through her brain. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| You heard this kind of shit when you were a kid? | ||
| Yeah, it was all about that. | ||
| The whole thing. | ||
| This is your dad who is hilarious? | ||
| So hilarious. | ||
| What was wrong with your grandma that he was so upset at her? | ||
| I'm assuming that was his wife's mom? | ||
| Yeah, his wife's mom. | ||
| Oh, she was a bitch. | ||
| There was no bitch bigger than her. | ||
| Big Bobby bitch. | ||
| Boss. | ||
| Boss bitch? | ||
| Yeah, big boss bitch. | ||
| She owned her own apartment house, had 12 units. | ||
| She controlled everyone's lives who lived within there. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Nobody would dare bark. | ||
| I like ladies like that when I don't have to be under their thumb. | ||
| If I just know them, I think it's fun. | ||
| She got a guy under her thumb. | ||
| I want to write this to a movie. | ||
| I'll make it brief. | ||
| One of her... | ||
| Tenants was a guy who wore a golf shirt. | ||
| She'd never seen that before. | ||
| She'd seen like one-legged fuckers in an army fatigue, you know, in America. | ||
| Because this was in the ghetto where she had her apartment house. | ||
| And right by the bus station there. | ||
| That's where I grew up. | ||
| But, you know... | ||
| The guy under her thumb? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| So he's wearing these golf shirts. | ||
| She's like, Tyler. | ||
| She had a thick Lithuanian accent. | ||
| Tyler wears a golf shirt. | ||
| I can't do accents. | ||
| In golf shirts. | ||
| He's going to golfing. | ||
| It's a classy guy, you know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Classy. | |
| Classy kind of guy. | ||
| Classy customer. | ||
| So he made the mistake of thinking she was a warm person. | ||
| As many people make that mistake with all Jewish women thinking they're warm and loving people. | ||
| She wasn't. | ||
| Well, she was, but there was a dark side there, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So he tells her that he's a fugitive. | ||
| Uh-oh. | ||
| And that was her favorite show at the time, The Fugitive. | ||
| The one with the guy who had one leg or something? | ||
| Yeah, one arm. | ||
| One arm, right. | ||
| The Fugitive. | ||
| That was our show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what she said. | |
| So he told her. | ||
| He told her he was a fugitive. | ||
| So she turned him into the cops? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| She moved him underneath her apartment. | ||
| Oh, under her thumb. | ||
| I mean, she was under, and she put him above, and she hooked up a bell on a rope that went into his kitchen and her bed. | ||
| And if she goes, ding, ding, ding, he had to come running. | ||
| And give her a fucking? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| She was a Jewish woman. | ||
| Are you kidding? | ||
| No. | ||
| Take out my garbage cans to the street. | ||
| I was hoping it was a positive ending. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, it was all labor issues. | |
| Time for you to cut the grass. | ||
| I need you to go fix the toilet, number eight. | ||
| Well, once she finds out he's a fugitive, he's fucked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So she goes... | ||
| So anyway, us kids was there. | ||
| He falls in love with my mother, who looked like Elizabeth Taylor. | ||
| And so my mom, you know, he's thinking that, oh, her daughter, she'll help me out. | ||
| She's working me to death this old bag. | ||
| So my mom being that way, too, she gets in on it. | ||
| I need you to come over and cut my grass. | ||
| And pretty soon his job was to sit at our dinner table between her and my dad. | ||
| And go, Helen, this is the most delicious roast I've ever tasted in my life. | ||
| That was his job? | ||
| Yeah, and my dad just sitting here like, yeah, it's good. | ||
| She's like, make my husband jealous too. | ||
| So it became psycho and it goes on and on. | ||
| I was 12. But at the end of that summer, he turned himself in. | ||
| Couldn't do it anymore. | ||
| It was worse being into her prison. | ||
| Yeah, the two of them. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Then they got in a family fight and tore out each other's hair over this guy. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| That was my upbringing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good times. | |
| Everything's funnier than hell. | ||
| Your mom looked like Elizabeth Taylor? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She had a waist. | ||
| Goddammit, I wished I had a waist. | ||
| I got my dad's body. | ||
| He was a football player and they called him Jerry Barr, the boy built like a barrel. | ||
| Barrel body. | ||
| I totally got it. | ||
| And so I thought when I was in Hollywood, I would get like a girl body with some ass cheeks and a waist. | ||
| So I'm still trying to work on that. | ||
| Well, you mean like surgery-wise? | ||
| Don't do that. | ||
| Yeah, like the Kardashian family. | ||
| God, I idolize them. | ||
| They're out here, you know. | ||
| They are out here, yeah. | ||
| Have you seen them? | ||
| Yes, I've seen them. | ||
| Have you ever looked at their ass right... | ||
| Not up tight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pull that microphone. | |
| I have. | ||
| Oh, I'm sorry. | ||
| That's the problem with no headphones. | ||
| We forget. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've seen their ass firsthand in Beverly Hills. | ||
| Did you enjoy it? | ||
| I was through. | ||
| I never saw anything so incredible in my life. | ||
| It was like the eighth wonder of the world. | ||
| It was completely up. | ||
| Up. | ||
| There was no sag whatsoever. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I'm like, see, I just had like a crack in my back. | ||
| I never had, I was assless in an ass-faced economy. | ||
| And that was my whole problem. | ||
| And I was like, my dad would be like, you're never going to get, and my parents both, you're never going to get a husband because you're too fat and you have, you know, you have no ass, you have no waist, you need to work out, you know, whatever. | ||
| And you have a big mouth and no guy will ever like that. | ||
| Obviously he was wrong. | ||
| Well, I proved them wrong. | ||
| Three assholes. | ||
| I got a good one now. | ||
| You got a good one? | ||
| A good man. | ||
| That's good for you. | ||
| 18 years. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| He made it. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a long time. | |
| I don't know how he did it either. | ||
| He hung in there. | ||
| He's like, God damn, ever since you went on that one antidepressant, things have been a lot nicer around here. | ||
| What was the one you went on? | ||
| Cymbalta. | ||
| Is that the newest one? | ||
| No, yeah, I've been on it for four years. | ||
| You know, with this whole thing, I realized I go on too much. | ||
| I talk too much, like all old women. | ||
| No, you don't talk too much. | ||
| The problem is not the talking. | ||
| The problem is the people reacting to your talking. | ||
| I like to see people get lit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It makes them go, woo, my ass itches. | ||
| No, I think it goes like this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit! | |
| Uh-oh! | ||
| Something was off-program! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I'm unraveling! | |
| Like the Wicked Witch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Off-program. | |
| Oh, a bit of water got on you. | ||
| It's off-program. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Eat it! | |
| The problem is not what you're saying. | ||
| It isn't? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's how I say it? | ||
| The problem is people reacting to you. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| But I'm supposed to get a reaction. | ||
| Yeah, but they're fools. | ||
| The ones who are freaking out and canceling this and firing that, they're just fools. | ||
| They don't understand you. | ||
| It makes me think of that song, which, you know, I said, fuck it. | ||
| I don't care about it no more. | ||
| I'm going to become the rock star that I've always wanted to be, and I'm going to sing that song, and here's the song. | ||
| I'm not going to sing it right now, but this was the song that refers to all that. | ||
| I'm just a soul whose intentions are good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, Lord. | |
| Oh, Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Life has its problems. | ||
| Yeah, that's a great quote. | ||
| And I've got my share. | ||
| That's a great quote. | ||
| Isn't it? | ||
| That was great words. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a great song. | |
| Eric Burden, what a great artist. | ||
| You know, we talked about on the last podcast, I think was really important that people understand, you know, I've been a fan of yours forever, and I know your story. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So nice. | |
| And I know what happened to you when you were a little girl when you got hit by a car. | ||
| And you were in a mental institution for nine months afterwards and how it completely affected the way you think and behave. | ||
| And I don't think people knew that. | ||
| And it was a really important thing for me to talk about during the last podcast. | ||
| One of the reasons why I wanted to get you in as quick as we could. | ||
| People need to understand what's happening here. | ||
| What's happening there was a genius comic who's also on Ambien, smoking pot, drinking, and has legitimate brain injury. | ||
| I do. | ||
| And I have a mental health issue. | ||
| I think a lot of that is from not just genetics, but your brain injury. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, I... The problem is people reacting to you. | |
| They're reacting to you like you're calling for people to be assassinated or murdered or you're yelling racial slurs in the streets. | ||
| You're not doing any of those things. | ||
| You're not that person. | ||
| The reaction was so overblown. | ||
| And then ABC got so wacky and canceled you. | ||
| It was so... | ||
| Foolish, so foolhardy, and to try to change who you were, the reason why the goddamn show was successful is because of who you were, and the fact that other people on the show didn't have your political ideology, and you would argue with them and fight with them, and it's like real-life conflict, like people know in their own homes. | ||
| That relatable aspect of your show was why it was number one so quickly, and why the old show was so great. | ||
| That's you! | ||
| And they tried to mold you to these woke times and foolishly reacted to the way you were talking as if you were doing something that was like, they changed what you were doing and made it this horrific, terrible thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's just not accurate. | |
| Well, it's all because I said that I like Trump. | ||
| As soon as they heard that, you know, a lot of cabals here in Hollywood, that's all they needed to hear. | ||
| It's like, okay, she must be destroyed. | ||
| And I did hear people say, oh my God, I'm afraid she's going to try to humanize Trump. | ||
| At the network, they said that. | ||
| Yes, people think that. | ||
| And it's like, what? | ||
| You mean Trump voters? | ||
| Is that who you're afraid is going to get humanized? | ||
| It's half the fucking country. | ||
| I know! | ||
| It's like such an elitist, out-of-touch vote. | ||
| The view of humans, it's always offended me. | ||
| It always offended me that they didn't like their audience, and I liked the audience because I thought I'm from there, and they're familiar to me. | ||
| And I vowed to myself, I'm not going to disrespect the audience. | ||
| And I never did, and I never did sell out, neither. | ||
| So everybody, you know, there will come a day, I believe, when, you know... | ||
| No, there won't. | ||
| Who knows what the fuck will happen? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Nothing will happen. | ||
| Who knows what the fuck's going to happen? | ||
| Inside my own head, though, I guess I've made peace with it. | ||
| It was like the worst horrible thing I've ever gone through. | ||
| My friend Tiffany, she says... | ||
| She says that this might be the beginning of the valuing of an artist, because it was the lowest point of ever devaluing an artist and an artist's work. | ||
| She says, so maybe now it's turned around and the artist will be better respected for what they bring. | ||
| I hope so, because they were even pulling your old show off of things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which is just fucking ridiculous. | ||
| That's kind of what killed the comedy thing for me, is that I was also told that one more, me getting in trouble one more time, I wouldn't have my reruns anymore. | ||
| And I live on that, you know? | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| So that's kind of what killed the stand-up comedy. | ||
| So that killed the idea of you going out and doing stand-up. | ||
| Yeah, because I asked for it to be defined. | ||
| I said, could I have a definition of what Yeah. | ||
| This is the problem. | ||
| It could mean you fart or something sometime. | ||
| I mean, these people that think people are rude are the rudest fucking assholes on earth. | ||
| They think they're doing the right thing, though. | ||
| The people that think they're so sensitive, they're insensitive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you think they think they're doing the right thing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| I do too. | ||
| Because I don't think they ever get to hear anybody like me say, you're not doing the right thing. | ||
| Well, we live in an echo chamber out here. | ||
| Please think it through a bit. | ||
| We live in an echo chamber. | ||
| I know. | ||
| That's why it's up to us to go, you guys, think things through a little bit more. | ||
| I'm not condemning anybody. | ||
| I'm not that kind of person. | ||
| I think we need more conversations. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And we need more... | |
| We just have the best dinner parties until all these self-righteous fucking progressives ruin that. | ||
| Starting with my own family on Passover when we were celebrating the Jews leaving fucking Egypt. | ||
| And I had this horrible cousin. | ||
| I can't even remember his name. | ||
| And he goes, well, maybe, and he had long hair, well, maybe we shouldn't be celebrating the death of all the Egyptians. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, well, that's what the story's about! | |
| And then we'd have, like, fist fight break out, you know. | ||
| And I'd always be the one going, can we just get back to the story? | ||
| Can we just get back to the story? | ||
| Always someone looking to be offended by some aspect of any story. | ||
| I'm offended every fucking day of my fucking life for how goddamn stupid people are. | ||
| Goddamn, they can't be more offensive to me right now than ever has been before. | ||
| I'm about ready to get out there and tell people what in the fuck. | ||
| Like, that has hit me many times in my life. | ||
| There have been times I got out of my car to chase after a mother or two the way I've seen her treating her kid. | ||
| I do it. | ||
| I'm boots on the ground. | ||
| I'm not a trifling sort. | ||
| Trifling is a strong word for a white person to use. | ||
| I've already said that. | ||
| It's like, it's a next door neighbor to the N-word. | ||
| Like trifling? | ||
| No, it's not Jews use it. | ||
| We use it. | ||
| Trifling! | ||
| But it seems when a guy uses it that's a white guy, it's like, hmm, I don't know. | ||
| I think a woman can get away with it better than a guy can. | ||
| When I grew up, we lived right next door to African Americans. | ||
| We lived down where everybody lived together. | ||
| Nobody had got to the suburbs yet. | ||
| Got it. | ||
| We lived mid-city. | ||
| And we had all kind of people down there at the bus station where we lived. | ||
| Trifling is just a great word. | ||
| It is a good word. | ||
| It should come back. | ||
| But it's just white people using it always sounds awkward. | ||
| Does it? | ||
| I'm not trifling. | ||
| Women can pull it off. | ||
| But it's such a good word. | ||
| It's a great word. | ||
| What else would you say? | ||
| Wallowing in filth? | ||
| Isn't that what it means? | ||
| You're trifling ass. | ||
| Does it mean wallowing in filth? | ||
| I think it more means like you're a fool. | ||
| You're like a moron living a stupid fucking petty life, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's unimportant or trivial. | |
| Trivial, yeah. | ||
| Trivial, that's the word. | ||
| Perfect. | ||
| Trivial. | ||
| I call that wallowing in filth or pandering. | ||
| So much better than trivial. | ||
| And pandering, too. | ||
| I love that word. | ||
| Pandering is common amongst cowards. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Isn't it? | |
| There's a lot of cowards today. | ||
| They are. | ||
| They're cowards, but you can't blame them because they've got drug debts and shit. | ||
| Nobody's going to excuse that. | ||
| Well, it's also that people don't want to be attacked. | ||
| No, they don't, and they have every right to be that way. | ||
| I mean, I am like, this is just before the Jewish holidays in Yom Kippur, where I have to repent. | ||
| Anyway. | ||
| What are you repented for? | ||
| All the bad shit I did this last year that I enjoyed. | ||
| I don't repent for the shit I had to do. | ||
| But the stuff I did because I enjoyed seeing somebody squirm. | ||
| What did you do that you enjoyed seeing somebody squirm? | ||
| Oh, I had to have... | ||
| Don't say anything that's going to get your reruns canceled. | ||
| I just had to have the last word in personal... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I get it. | |
| You know, all over the place. | ||
| Yeah, that kind of shit. | ||
| And in the larger world, go for the... | ||
| Yes, I'm just trying to be a forgiving person, and so I'll be forgiven. | ||
| And I do ask to be forgiven by apologizing. | ||
| I am sorry that I made even one... | ||
| It was an embarrassing day for anyone who gave me the chance to come on TV and make a number one show. | ||
| And to all those whom I embarrassed, I am very sorry. | ||
| And I think I owe that. | ||
| And I feel it. | ||
| And I am sorry for Allowing myself to become unwell mentally because I worked so hard I didn't look out for myself. | ||
| I didn't take the vitamins. | ||
| I didn't take the shots. | ||
| We talked about that too and your difficulty sleeping and then taking sleeping aids. | ||
| I've been sober off Ambien since that happened. | ||
| Fantastic. | ||
| That's excellent news. | ||
| Now I take melatonin. | ||
| Melatonin. | ||
| Melatonin. | ||
| Yeah, from the drugstore. | ||
| That's really good. | ||
| That's really good advice. | ||
| I mean, really good news. | ||
| I'm very happy to hear that. | ||
| That scares the shit out of me. | ||
| I haven't done any weird things. | ||
| I mean, that tweet was just one of them. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| I follow you on Twitter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I would see the tweets to her and be like, Roseanne's on one. | ||
| Oh yeah, Roseanne's on one. | ||
| My daughter goes, you've got to stop with these ambient tweets, mother, before you lose everything for us! | ||
| Whoa, that's hard for us. | ||
| Like, you little bitch. | ||
| Whoa, that's harsh. | ||
| Don't worry, I'll get even. | ||
| I get when my grandsons, I'm like, hey, you guys, let's go get high. | ||
| I think this now and I thought this then. | ||
| You just need an advocate who understands you. | ||
| That's all you needed. | ||
| You needed it back then and, you know... | ||
| I needed not to be totally drained of vitamin B12 because the side effect is psychosis. | ||
| That's a good thing too. | ||
| And so I believe that I was in a psychosis because the doctor goes, you have, okay, good news. | ||
| I go to this guy, what is it? | ||
| Cedar Sinai. | ||
| Good news. | ||
| You have no vitamin. | ||
| You let it go too long. | ||
| Because you know, I'm in Hawaii. | ||
| I don't keep up with my infusions, vitamins I have to take. | ||
| Do you take IV infusions? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How often do you do that? | ||
| I take them about every three months because I can't process iron. | ||
| Because of your stomach operation? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because of that fucking operation. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, well, I'm glad I got it. | ||
| I'd weigh 902 pounds right now. | ||
| Yeah, those stomach operations, they mess with your body's ability to absorb nutrients, right? | ||
| Yeah, I can't absorb nothing. | ||
| Is that the old way they used to do it? | ||
| Like, do they have it better now? | ||
| I think they have it better now. | ||
| Now they just do a lap band. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| You'll have to ask Jennifer Hudson. | ||
| But I had the old one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know if she got it. | |
| They shrink your stomach, right? | ||
| They cut it and make it smaller. | ||
| I heard Beyonce got one, too. | ||
| Did you hear that? | ||
| She's never been fat. | ||
| Is that what you heard? | ||
| I heard all the stuff of who got what. | ||
| That lady's got a perfect body. | ||
| I can't imagine. | ||
| I know. | ||
| She's gorgeous. | ||
| I heard she had a, what do they call it? | ||
| The lap band. | ||
| I bet someone's hatin'. | ||
| That's what I bet. | ||
| I bet someone's hatin'. | ||
| I bet she never had anything. | ||
| I put it all on the table. | ||
| I put it all on the table that someone's hatin'. | ||
| That lady was never overweight. | ||
| If you're in great physical condition, like she's always been, she dances, she does so much physical stuff, that if she got a lap band, it would fuck with her body. | ||
| That's what I think, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't think you can get that. | |
| I don't believe it, but they are saying that. | ||
| Who's the other one they said? | ||
| Who are these people that are called they? | ||
| Oh, the lap band community. | ||
| That lady's always had a perfect body. | ||
| She is so perfect. | ||
| What about the voice? | ||
| What's that song? | ||
| Oh, her voice is incredible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God! | |
| But the dancing, that song, if you like it, then you better put a ring on it. | ||
| Remember that with all those girls dancing? | ||
| Her body's insane. | ||
| It's always been insane. | ||
| That girl's still got a lap band. | ||
| She's got superior genetics. | ||
| Yes, she does. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| She's so pretty, too. | ||
| She certainly does. | ||
| But there's no way she has a lap band. | ||
| I would, all my money. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Push it in. | |
| Yeah, okay. | ||
| Fuck you, haters. | ||
| I think you, okay, I have to agree. | ||
| You've won this one. | ||
| I just don't think she would, why would she ever get that operation? | ||
| If she was like really big and then she got small, that's when people get suspicious. | ||
| But she was never big. | ||
| Well, she was big when she was pregnant. | ||
| She was pregnant. | ||
| Yeah, but a lot of people get big when they get pregnant. | ||
| They shrink back down. | ||
| What's her name? | ||
| The really hot blonde lady with the large ta-tas. | ||
| Jessica Simpson. | ||
| She just lost 100 pounds. | ||
| She did? | ||
| Yeah, she got pregnant, had a baby, got real big, got up to 240. Woo! | ||
| That's a big woman. | ||
| I was 240. Woo! | ||
| Oh, yeah, you can do some damage at 240. Oh, you can fuck people up. | ||
| But now she's 140. Good for her. | ||
| Yeah, good for her. | ||
| She lost 100 pounds. | ||
| Good for her. | ||
| I think she had another baby. | ||
| Yeah, she did. | ||
| I think she just diet and exercise, you know, did it right. | ||
| No lap time. | ||
| God damn, I hate hearing that lie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's counterintuitive. | |
| What is it? | ||
| Artificial intelligence. | ||
| You just need the right people around you, Roseanne. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| All I have is wild cats and Johnny. | ||
| Well, you got me. | ||
| I'm around. | ||
| Johnny talks to cats, and he not only talks to them, he knows what they're saying. | ||
| Do you go that far? | ||
| No, I don't think I know what my cat's saying. | ||
| Johnny does. | ||
| He knows what they're saying. | ||
| I think my cat's saying, pet me. | ||
| Come on, bro. | ||
| Give me a massage. | ||
| Johnny goes like this. | ||
| She's saying, Hi Roseanne, will you come and pet me please and give me some fish? | ||
| That's probably pretty accurate. | ||
| No, she's not. | ||
| That's you. | ||
| That's not the cat. | ||
| She's probably thinking that. | ||
| I'd like to get pet and have some fish. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think most cats think that. | ||
| They're pretty simple creatures. | ||
| I think they think, leave me the F alone. | ||
| There's a little bit of that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You ever see a kitten stalk like a bird? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They know right from the beginning. | ||
| They certainly do. | ||
| It's that intelligence. | ||
| It's DNA. They know to creep up real slow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's the real intelligence. | |
| I was watching a kitten. | ||
| It's not something you get when you watch TV. It's like the real intelligence. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You got to be out there. | ||
| Well, they're from a long line of murderers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you have to be out there? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Cats? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, I meant us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Humans? | |
| Oh, us. | ||
| Yeah, you got to be out there. | ||
| You got to move around. | ||
| You can't be confined. | ||
| Human beings are products of experience, and I think we need a lot of experiences. | ||
| I think we need experiences all the time. | ||
| I think you need to travel. | ||
| You need to talk to different people. | ||
| You need to try different things. | ||
| It's one of the reasons why I wanted to go to this gun range today. | ||
| I mean, I've shot guns before, but I don't really know how to do it right. | ||
| Oh, you don't? | ||
| No, I'm not really. | ||
| Oh, I would have... | ||
| See, that's what made Owen Benjamin mad at me because I called him a name. | ||
| I shouldn't have used that word. | ||
| Because, you know, he's doing all that farming stuff. | ||
| Well, I'm doing the farming too and I have farm vehicles, okay? | ||
| And he does not have that or any rifles or anything. | ||
| So I kind of called him a puss bag. | ||
| Come up to the microphone. | ||
| He thinks I may be mentioned for other reasons, but no, it's just like, man, if you're going to go do this, you've got to get yourself, you know, one of these four-wheel drive here's like I got with the rifle. | ||
| You have to have that? | ||
| If you're going to do the job, yeah. | ||
| Why do you need a rifle when you're farming? | ||
| Well, for killing wild pigs. | ||
| I told you I got nothing but wild pigs over there. | ||
| Well, you're in Hawaii. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My friend Shane started hunting because he was farming and the wild pigs would destroy all of his vegetables. | ||
| Yeah, they do. | ||
| Some of these fuckers are like Volkswagens. | ||
| Oh, they're crazy. | ||
| It is crazy. | ||
| And they don't have no limits. | ||
| I mean, they're like politicians, I've noticed. | ||
| They don't have any limit. | ||
| Like, they want not only what they got, but what you got, too. | ||
| They don't stop. | ||
| You put barriers up to them, and they keep pushing them down, going under, around. | ||
| Pigs are designed to survive. | ||
| I mean, they're ruthless in terms of their ability to survive. | ||
| They have many litters a year. | ||
| Yeah, they sure do. | ||
| And in each litter, they have multiple piglets. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they can get pregnant as early and start breeding at six months. | ||
| I know. | ||
| So six months in, they're having their own babies, and then six months later, their baby's having babies. | ||
| That's exactly right. | ||
| There are millions and millions of them in this country. | ||
| We were taking out, what was it, 30 pigs a month. | ||
| But they're great eating. | ||
| Oh, I don't eat pigs. | ||
| You don't eat pigs? | ||
| I don't eat animals either. | ||
| You don't eat any animals? | ||
| Unless they're really cute. | ||
| Then I'll eat them. | ||
| How come you don't eat animals? | ||
| If they're cute enough, I'll eat them. | ||
| Oh, it's a cute thing. | ||
| No, I don't know because I'm old and, you know, meat just sits there for a while. | ||
| Is it because of the stomach operation as well? | ||
| Yeah, I'd better just chicken broth. | ||
| When Ralphie May had that operation, he had the same sort of operation. | ||
| He couldn't eat meat anymore. | ||
| It was crazy because Ralphie was an amazing cook and Ralphie would invite us over for barbecues and he couldn't eat it. | ||
| He had to eat vegetables. | ||
| It wouldn't sit with him. | ||
| It really fucked with his stomach. | ||
| He would make these incredible ribs and brisket and everything like that. | ||
| We would all eat it and Ralphie couldn't eat it. | ||
| But he loved to cook. | ||
| Yeah, it sucked. | ||
| Yeah, I wrote a part for him in a show. | ||
| He was a sweet guy. | ||
| He was, wasn't he? | ||
| He just had a demon. | ||
| He had a fucking terrible demon. | ||
| Is it a comedy demon or a drug or alcohol demon or is it all the same demon? | ||
| His is a food demon. | ||
| You know, I mean, people have demons. | ||
| Like, everybody's got their own little weird thing. | ||
| What's your demon? | ||
| It's probably... | ||
| Anger, violence. | ||
| I mean I grew up involved in violence and martial arts and stuff when I was really little. | ||
| I think I developed that way and I got good at figuring out how to channel that and then when you stop doing that, the difficulty for a lot of people is figuring out how to turn it off. | ||
| You know, that's the demon. | ||
| That's the whole thing right now. | ||
| It's like being able to control your temper when your buttons are pushed. | ||
| It's the hardest thing in the world. | ||
| Way, way, way, way, way, way better at it. | ||
| Yeah, I did too. | ||
| But it's like everything else. | ||
| Like if you learn comedy in the beginning when you're an open micro, you're terrible. | ||
| But then you're 20 years in, you're a master, right? | ||
| You know how to kill. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| That's the same thing with being a person. | ||
| I got better at being a person. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| You just got to understand your own mind better. | ||
| I started meditating. | ||
| I spent a lot of time in the isolation tank. | ||
| I do a lot of yoga. | ||
| I smoke a lot of weed. | ||
| I mean, all those things are good. | ||
| Weed makes... | ||
| I don't know what it does to other people, but for me, it makes me nice. | ||
| It makes me really friendly. | ||
| I want to hug people. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| I want good things to happen to them. | ||
| It gives me a sense of community. | ||
| Like, it really means... | ||
| That's what it means to me. | ||
| It opens some kind of channel in my head to where the big... | ||
| The big we comes in. | ||
| The big we. | ||
| Us all together, yeah. | ||
| Community. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Community, yeah. | |
| It's not a drug that is an isolation drug. | ||
| Like a drug that makes you want to, like, this is all for me. | ||
| I'm the one. | ||
| I'm the fucking man. | ||
| It's like the opposite. | ||
| It makes you humble. | ||
| I mean, that's part of what people call paranoia, the paranoia that you get from weed. | ||
| I think it's an understanding of your place in the universe that you're kind of denying. | ||
| Most people are denying because they're so self-focused. | ||
| They're focused on their own life and their own objectives and what they're trying to accomplish and how they want other people to look at them. | ||
| And then you smoke the pot and you're like, oh my god, this is crazy. | ||
| We're on a ball. | ||
| It's hurling through infinity. | ||
| There's a giant fireball in the sky. | ||
| Like, all this is nothing. | ||
| You live for a certain amount of time and nobody really figures out why they're here. | ||
| You're all just scrambling, trying to find meaning and then Then it's over. | ||
| And then what happens then? | ||
| Do you come back as a baby and try all over again? | ||
| That's what some people believe. | ||
| Some people believe you go to another dimension. | ||
| Some people believe that you live the exact same life over and over and over and over again until you get it right. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| I've heard all those. | ||
| I'm trying to get it right. | ||
| I would love that. | ||
| I would love that this be the one that I figure out. | ||
| Like maybe I've lived a million of these lives. | ||
| And this life, even though I still fuck up all the time, I'd love for this one to be the life that I do my best in. | ||
| Well, it's not going to be. | ||
| I'm sorry to let you know. | ||
| It's not going to happen. | ||
| What did I do wrong? | ||
| You didn't do nothing wrong. | ||
| You can't say you did anything wrong. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How do you know, though? | |
| You're on your journey. | ||
| But how do you know that this isn't the best version of it? | ||
| Maybe I can do better next time around, but this time I'd like to do my best. | ||
| I'd like to do better than the last time, if that's a real thing. | ||
| If that's the way to look at life... | ||
| That you are living this exact same existence over and over and over again. | ||
| That's what deja vu is. | ||
| That's what all these intuitions that you have, all these feelings that you have. | ||
| When you meet someone, you know that person's supposed to be in your life. | ||
| You know this guy's a great friend and you're just meeting them. | ||
| You have weird feelings like that. | ||
| The universe sort of tells you certain things about certain people. | ||
| If you're really paying attention and you're really honest and objective. | ||
| We all have fragments of memory that come and go. | ||
| Sometimes we're bombarded by it. | ||
| You know how the cat knows how to chase after that squirrel? | ||
| The cat knows. | ||
| It's something in that cat's DNA. We have that too. | ||
| We just have it in different ways. | ||
| We have it for... | ||
| our ability to understand what people are deceptive we ever for our ability to avoid insects and spiders and snakes and certain things we know are dangerous like a meat like I that's why I believe people have when people have like arachnophobia when they have like an unnatural fear of spiders they probably have some distant memory in their DNA of either someone they know dying or themself almost dying or maybe them even dying who knows. | ||
| But it might be a fragment of, I think about this and talk about it all time with friends you know It might be a fragment of a memory of when you were an iguana. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because we're always going to go back to the connection. | ||
| You know, that's our root. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I watched a video. | |
| Our root chakra is an amoeba, a single-cell organism. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's in our body, and it just replicated a lot. | ||
| So each one of those things have the same kind of makeup that intelligence does. | ||
| Well, you're a collection of things, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We're not just all of our cells and all of our DNA, but we also have this weird bacteria floating around in our body, and it's keeping us alive and keeping us healthy. | ||
| And some people say that bacteria is telling us a story. | ||
| Like, yeah, I know, it's a big one, because it's like, okay, maybe the loop that goes through in your mind, which maybe this has something to do with me being on Ambien and being in a psychotic state when I tweeted, but Maybe it was just something was playing that didn't make all that much sense, but it made sense at the time. | ||
| When you're taking all that stuff, you're taking all that stuff orally, right? | ||
| And all that stuff is getting broken down in your gut. | ||
| It's fucking with your personality. | ||
| It fucks with everything. | ||
| They say that your gut, your microbiome, actually affects your personality. | ||
| Right, because it's giving you the thought. | ||
| It's informing your thoughts. | ||
| Also, sometimes people are inflamed and irritated and that changes their personality. | ||
| And to have a healthy body or a healthy microbiome and just a healthy system, it affects your personality in pretty profound ways. | ||
| Well, they say if you're really healthy, you're in a good mood all the time. | ||
| That's a good way of looking at it. | ||
| Isn't that weird? | ||
| Yeah, it's true though. | ||
| I'm always striving for that because sometimes I'm in a good mood. | ||
| I'd say most of the time I'm in a good mood. | ||
| These days. | ||
| But I don't ever want to fuck with the bad mood. | ||
| But you know, when you got bipolar, I'm bipolar, amongst a million other fucking things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What does that mean exactly? | |
| I got more mental illness than your average bear. | ||
| Remember Yogi the Bear? | ||
| I do remember Yogi. | ||
| I got more mental illness than you can shake his dick at. | ||
| It's hard to live with it. | ||
| What does bipolar exactly mean? | ||
| Well, we used to call it moody. | ||
| Moody? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Swinging. | ||
| Manic states, right? | ||
| You swing up and down. | ||
| Yeah, one minute you're this and the next minute you're that. | ||
| But even more protracted is like, well, you're in a good mood for months and then it's that. | ||
| You know where they say that straw that broke the camel's back? | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| That's kind of clue one that you might be bipolar. | ||
| I guess when the camel breaks and you just let it all rip because you can't control it anymore. | ||
| And things you didn't even think you were holding back come out. | ||
| You don't have the right way of processing emotion. | ||
| And it's such extremes. | ||
| And then you follow the extremes through with action, like going someplace and then having to go some other place. | ||
| It's terrifying. | ||
| Mental illness is really terrifying. | ||
| I think maybe this whole thing is going to move me to start talking more honestly about it. | ||
| Because I think of all the conversations in America, that's the most needed. | ||
| It's a very important conversation. | ||
| And it's also very important that we have empathy towards people with mental health because we have empathy towards people with other ailments. | ||
| If someone has liver cancer, we don't go, oh, fix your liver, you fucking idiot. | ||
| Why are you out here getting sick? | ||
| But if you have mental issues, it affects the way you communicate with people and we think it's your fault. | ||
| If you have a bad knee, no one says, why can't you run up the hill, you fucking moron. | ||
| But if you have something wrong with your brain, we just assume it's your fault. | ||
| It's a real bad thing. | ||
| It's a bad habit that people have, particularly people that don't have mental illness. | ||
| I know. | ||
| They're such bullies. | ||
| Well, they don't understand that it could happen to you. | ||
| It could happen to anybody. | ||
| But bullying the mentally ill is so much a part of what's going on in our culture right now. | ||
| Abandoning them and just in the streets. | ||
| Well, that's a giant problem that we have here in America. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I just hate that. | |
| I know. | ||
| I hate it. | ||
| You know, Cher actually brought it up. | ||
| She was talking about... | ||
| Yeah, good for Cher. | ||
| She was talking about them, talking about immigration, discussing immigration. | ||
| She goes, that's fine and good, but we have 60,000 mentally ill, homeless people wandering through the streets of Los Angeles alone. | ||
| 60,000. | ||
| I mean, that's a good-sized, small town. | ||
| And it's filled... | ||
| Filled with drug addicts and people with psychotic breaks and all sorts of other mental illness. | ||
| Well, they have mental illness, yeah. | ||
| I met a kid the other day. | ||
| I always talk to the mentally ill because, you know, it's partly that they're so, oh, I forget the word. | ||
| Louie uses it, you know. | ||
| Well, they're so disenfranchised and ignored and they become invisible. | ||
| And then they retreat totally into their psychosis, you know? | ||
| And so they can't be reached. | ||
| So you always do them a favor just to make eye contact and say, have a nice day or hello. | ||
| You're doing them a big healing favor. | ||
| But I met this kid, he was about 20, and his eyes all black, the white of his eye. | ||
| And I'm like, what happened to your eye? | ||
| He goes, I got it tattooed. | ||
| I go, how did you possibly sit and let them put tattoo needle in the white of your eye 950,000 times? | ||
| And he goes, because I have a deep fear of anything going in my eye. | ||
| I've always had that fear, and so this was my way to overcome it. | ||
| I go, dude... | ||
| That's a rough one. | ||
| When do they start tattooing their eyeballs? | ||
| When you're really obsessive-compulsive. | ||
| And you're trying to get over one fear by running through the fear and making it happen to you. | ||
| And a lot of us do that. | ||
| I guess maybe in my psychosis, I might have had a fear of being a symbol of so much to so many. | ||
| I think it crumbled me. | ||
| They kept saying that. | ||
| They kept trying to make me be a symbol of something. | ||
| And I guess I am. | ||
| If anything, I just want to be a symbol for good jokes. | ||
| There shouldn't be no censorship on good jokes. | ||
| Do you think that the pressure of fame and of stardom and stuff contributes to this feeling that you worry about the role that you have? | ||
| You know, you worry about people being upset at you. | ||
| You worry about it, and it's almost like it comes out from that. | ||
| Uh-oh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can I? Fuck yeah. | |
| Marijuana. | ||
| I'm celebrating Sober October, Roseanne, so I cannot partake. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good for you. | |
| Can I have yours? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You want some weed? | ||
| I've got a lot. | ||
| Do you want a drag? | ||
| Plenty of weed here. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| Jamie's not celebrating Sober October. | ||
| Three years in a row. | ||
| I know. | ||
| He always had me on in October. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck that. | |
| He says, fuck that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like it. | |
| I think it's good. | ||
| It's good to cleanse out the old pipes every now and again. | ||
| I was sober for almost a year off pot. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Until recently, one drag is good. | ||
| One drag is good. | ||
| That's the right amount. | ||
| It just elevates you a little bit. | ||
| It gives you a little lift. | ||
| But I tied one on the day before Sober October with Sturgill Simpson. | ||
| I don't remember even what we were talking about while we were talking. | ||
| It's just so fun to talk and exchange ideas and feel that nobody's hanging over you to send you to fucking prison. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| What the fuck is that? | ||
| That can't happen here. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We can't let that happen here. | ||
| We can't let that happen, but that's a natural course of progression, right? | ||
| Well, we're going to have to confront Google and YouTube, obviously, and I think they are getting confronted. | ||
| I think they're getting confronted. | ||
| I think everybody's getting it, don't you? | ||
| I think. | ||
| A lot of people are getting confronted about those kind of things. | ||
| And they need to hear me or you and thousands of us, frankly, say, hey, you guys, bring it back a little, come on, bring it back to the middle, where it makes common sense. | ||
| Where it makes common sense. | ||
| Yeah, because this ain't no sense to this. | ||
| I think when Trump got elected, a lot of people used that as an excuse. | ||
| It was like a green light for them to enforce their own ideology. | ||
| They're like, look, this is a bad thing. | ||
| We're deeply distraught. | ||
| One of the CEOs of Google, one of the main executives of Google, was talking about that recently, about how distraught they were at the election and what a terrible result it was. | ||
| And they were, you know, looking at their own role in elections, because that is a thing that social media has now. | ||
| People that openly discuss and support a candidate or deny a candidate. | ||
| And this is what Tulsi Gabbard's suing for, is that they denied her YouTube searches. | ||
| They did something to censor her ability to get her message out. | ||
| Well, I think that people, what they're doing is they're digging and they're going back to who's funding who. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And I kind of support that because I don't think that I want to give my money to anybody who takes money from terrorists. | ||
| Why would I want to pay for somebody to kill me? | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Americans don't want that. | ||
| That don't make no common sense. | ||
| No, that doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Why are they putting waste next to schools? | ||
| Why are companies burying waste next to public schools? | ||
| Because they can get away with it? | ||
| Where's the public? | ||
| How come the public is factored out of all public life, including the tables where public money is apportioned? | ||
| There's not one public there. | ||
| That's why I ran, because I want to be a John Q. Public. | ||
| I'll be that guy. | ||
| Who's putting waste next to schools? | ||
| Look it up. | ||
| Look it up in New York. | ||
| In New York, they're doing that? | ||
| Yeah, everybody gets a payoff, Jill. | ||
| Don't act like you're so fucking, like, school yard. | ||
| Everybody's getting a fucking payoff to fucking do whatever the hell they can get away with doing. | ||
| And they're not getting in trouble for it. | ||
| They're unpunished, unindicted. | ||
| Look at it! | ||
| What is this? | ||
| What? | ||
| What? | ||
| But everybody says, I don't know anymore. | ||
| It's like, how come they're getting away with this shit? | ||
| Why are they getting away with lying? | ||
| Any of them. | ||
| Who's getting away with lying? | ||
| All of them! | ||
| Who's them? | ||
| The whole fucking world! | ||
| The whole world's lying? | ||
| The whole fucking thing! | ||
| It's a lie! | ||
| It's a lie pieced together with fucking bullshit! | ||
| It don't make any sense because it's not supposed to make sense. | ||
| It's senseless and stupid. | ||
| Well, it's all people. | ||
| That's part of the problem is that human beings are seriously fucking flawed and there's nothing but human beings in the world of humans. | ||
| It's all flawed people running around trying to make sense of this thing. | ||
| Here's how it's got to go, okay? | ||
| Okay, it's all about grandmothers. | ||
| Take your power. | ||
| Grandmothers? | ||
| Yes, every grandmother in this country is responsible, I figure, for between 15 to 100 people. | ||
| A woman who lives that long and keeps her family around her, that's exactly what happens. | ||
| And it's the truth of it. | ||
| So I call that a community. | ||
| You know, depending on where they are geographically. | ||
| But that community, in the words of Malcolm X, why I ran for president on that party, it needs to create community health and community sovereignty and community... | ||
| What's the word? | ||
| Where it just keeps going. | ||
| Momentum? | ||
| No, it... | ||
| I can't think of the word, but it's a kind of farming where it's just like... | ||
| It feeds itself. | ||
| It's self-generating. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| The economy of that particular community is self-generating. | ||
| For instance, the pineapples you grow, you sell at the market. | ||
| You know, that kind of thing. | ||
| Self-sustainable. | ||
| Sustainable, thank you. | ||
| I couldn't think of that word. | ||
| Getting old sucks, man. | ||
| What was the word you meant to tell? | ||
| You invented a good word. | ||
| What was it again? | ||
| Synchronicitus? | ||
| Synchronicitus. | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a good one. | |
| We're going to use that one. | ||
| We try to do that in Hawaii where we create not an artificial economy but a barter economy. | ||
| And of course it's all based on land as is all wealth. | ||
| Because you can grow shit and feed people and that's what matters. | ||
| So the biggest problem facing us as humans is how do we get the food in front of the hungry kids? | ||
| That's our problem, but we go to all this other shit rather than that. | ||
| So we need to start over, get grandmothers in charge. | ||
| Every grandmother, there'll be a community grandmothers organization, all based on the nation of Iroquois, which was how the United States was actually founded, because Benjamin Franklin was a fan of the Iroquois people and the way they ran their government, which was run by a grandmother's council. | ||
| And that's what he invented the 13, you know, they came up with the 13 Colonies United because it was 13 tribes and the Iroquois were the judge. | ||
| But didn't you just get done telling us about how evil your grandmother was? | ||
| Well, she was good, but she was like money hungry, you know. | ||
| She's a really good person. | ||
| Well, I'm kind of like her. | ||
| Ringing that bell for America? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Get down here. | ||
| Take out my shit. | ||
| Oh, no, I'm not. | ||
| I think people should be paid fairly. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's what I learned from that. | ||
| It's like, God damn, you know. | ||
| He would have done all that and more if you'd incentivized him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's that capitalist word? | |
| Incentivized. | ||
| But it's true. | ||
| He had a good heart and they ran him out of town. | ||
| That ain't good. | ||
| See, that ain't self-sufficient. | ||
| You gotta stop before you ruin everything. | ||
| It ain't sustainable. | ||
| Stop before you ruin it and keep it going. | ||
| So, have you completely given up? | ||
| I know you're gonna go on tour with Dice. | ||
| I did it already. | ||
| You did it. | ||
| How many dates do you guys do? | ||
| Two. | ||
| That's it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're done. | ||
| Well, we're done for now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you enjoy it? | |
| I'm like, I don't want to travel when it's cold. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You don't want to travel? | |
| No. | ||
| I can't take it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Tell you the truth. | |
| Do you live here in Hawaii or do you just live in Hawaii? | ||
| I live here, Hawaii, and a few other places. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But when you're here, why don't you come to the store? | |
| The comedy store? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, I get so nervous about it, and I mean, I wear these deep pens, and they are not holding it back. | ||
| I gotta get the next level, and then I will. | ||
| I get so fucking nervous. | ||
| I mean, they shattered me. | ||
| Listen, I'll take you in there. | ||
| I'd be happy to. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Anytime you want. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I'm afraid of that audience. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Are they all progressives? | ||
| I hope so. | ||
| God, I want to bust a few hands. | ||
| I'm going to get in a fucking fist fight with a few of them. | ||
| Most people are just people. | ||
| They're great. | ||
| Not my kids. | ||
| They're still progressive. | ||
| It fucking pisses me off so bad. | ||
| Well, they're probably good people. | ||
| They want to do the right thing, and they think that's the way to do the right thing. | ||
| Fuck the carbon footprint. | ||
| I'm old. | ||
| If I want to fuck it, I will. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| I've already left a huge one. | ||
| I'm not going to back off now. | ||
| The problem is everything leaves a carbon footprint, including organic farming. | ||
| I know. | ||
| That's what I'm finding out in Hawaii. | ||
| Now I'm just fucking selling my farm. | ||
| Well, I think as time goes on, with solar power and batteries and battery life getting extended due to technology, they're going to figure out better ways to do a lot of the things they're doing now. | ||
| But regenerative farming is really important, you know, especially a place like where you have, where you have control of the land. | ||
| You know, there's a lot of methods that you could use to do all sorts of things to grow your own food out there. | ||
| The thing that's so great about Hawaii is that it has so much, oh Christ, I can't, diversity. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| In the people and their crops. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And, you know, that keeps everything really healthy. | ||
| And everyone's stuck on an island together. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They have to be nice. | |
| We have to. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And we have so many Asian people that they really do have a unique—it's not like my way of thinking. | ||
| It's kind of Jewish, but then at the end it goes—it's very utilitarian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I like the way they design things, especially the new farming things that I'm seeing on the island. | ||
| Well, the vibe of the island, and you're on the big island, but I love all the islands, but the vibe of Hawaii in general, it's like this very interesting vibe, because it's friendly and nice, but proud and strong, and they know they have a really beautiful, unique place, and they have a really incredible history. | ||
| Yeah, they do. | ||
| Of people that were so bold that they got in these small handmade boats thousands of years ago and made their way through the goddamn ocean. | ||
| Can you believe that? | ||
| I mean, how many people... | ||
| Did you know they hung their balls in the water? | ||
| To find out which way the tide is going. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| I mean... | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| That right there is so great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because that shows that men have a total purpose, right? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I mean, it does, right, Jill? | ||
| Because, I mean, what is that telling them? | ||
| What is it telling them? | ||
| Well, explain to people when they did it. | ||
| Because the balls are free-floating in the sack? | ||
| When there was no wind and there was no current or there was no visible waves, they would put their balls in the water to find out which way the current was going because they would feel it on their balls. | ||
| That's why they did it. | ||
| That is so fucking helpful to the human race. | ||
| Yeah, their balls really saved them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And they got to Hawaii. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, they got to the most beautiful place on earth, and they did it. | ||
| People were mad in Hawaii over that movie Moana, which is my favorite movie. | ||
| I've seen it ten times. | ||
| Why are the people mad? | ||
| Well, some of them were mad, the activist sort. | ||
| But The Rock is Hawaiian. | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| He's the big guy. | ||
| He's Pacific Islander. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| But anyway... | ||
| But he grew up in Hawaii, right? | ||
| I can't remember the story. | ||
| I believe he did. | ||
| Well, whatever. | ||
| He's fucking gorgeous. | ||
| And so is Jason Manoa. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Momoa, yeah. | ||
| Momoa? | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| Anyway, so every... | ||
| Those are like, yes, I'm real. | ||
| That is pulchritude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, for sure. | |
| That's male pulchritude right there. | ||
| Some cheesecake and beefsteak and pulchritude. | ||
| It's like, whoa, would you love to see them bare naked? | ||
| Have you been paying attention to the controversy about building that new telescope in Hawaii? | ||
| Oh, of course. | ||
| I prayed against it. | ||
| Did you? | ||
| They came to me, you know, this is something that shouldn't be told, so I'll tell it. | ||
| And I said, don't worry about it, sis. | ||
| I'm putting in the Jew two cents. | ||
| On this here. | ||
| You don't want them to build a telescope? | ||
| Well, not on the people's holy place. | ||
| So I went out there and I done some prayers for direction. | ||
| And it stopped three days later. | ||
| And now it's back on, but all the people went up there. | ||
| But I like to say to the people, I'm glad you got the telescope. | ||
| I say this and everybody hates me. | ||
| It's okay, but I just have to say. | ||
| Maybe... | ||
| The telescope, which will be the new eye to behold the entire universe, which will create like a different kind of a human mind forever. | ||
| Maybe that should be there. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Well, it's a very unique place in terms of where it sits in the world. | ||
| Well, it's where Pele is. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's where Pele was born and the Hawaiian people, they say, they believe that they came out of that mountain, you know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And that's their, what do you call it, their genesis is that particular Mauna Kea, Mother Mountain. | ||
| So they don't want anything built on there. | ||
| Maybe there's some sort of a compromise because the idea of that place is that it's in a very unique place on Earth to view the cosmos. | ||
| Have you been to the Keck Observatory? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I've never gone there because I, you know, I should. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| The view up there, it changes your place, like your idea of your place in the world. | ||
| The first time I saw it was... | ||
| We're so visual beings. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You know what changed me are those round films about the wall of China. | ||
| Whatever those places are, those theaters. | ||
| Oh, the IMAX? Yeah, IMAX. Oh, I know what you're talking about. | ||
| Yeah, those gigantic theaters where everything's around you and you get to see it visually. | ||
| Well, the Keck, I've been to it a few times, but one time I caught it perfectly, where there was no moon out, and the sky was clear, and it was unbelievably beautiful. | ||
| You see the whole Milky Way. | ||
| You see all the stars. | ||
| The entire sky is filled with stars. | ||
| It didn't even seem real. | ||
| And it just makes you feel like you're looking through the windshield of a spaceship flying through the cosmos. | ||
| Well, there's this app you can get to that will chart the stars for you. | ||
| And it's so cool. | ||
| And if you hold your phone up, which I float in my pool, and you hold it up there, and then you look and it's like, yeah, there's this, you know. | ||
| Whatever they're called, I can't remember. | ||
| I had a similar app. | ||
| Maybe it's the same one. | ||
| There's the Spot Constellation. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| No, it's incredible. | ||
| It is incredible. | ||
| But there's nothing like seeing it. | ||
| And yet all of that pales when it comes to me thinking about me. | ||
| Isn't that funny? | ||
| It's just so incredible that it works like that. | ||
| Well, that's one of the things that helps people think about their place in the world when you see something as magnificent and enormous as the Milky Way. | ||
| I mean, you see the Milky Way so clear that it doesn't even look real. | ||
| No, it doesn't. | ||
| I've only caught it like that once. | ||
| The other two times that I went there, it was still beautiful. | ||
| You see everything. | ||
| The other two times that I went, it was still beautiful, but not as stunning as the one time where I caught it. | ||
| One time I messed up and I got there and it was a full moon. | ||
| It was a mess. | ||
| You couldn't hardly see anything. | ||
| The other time was really cloudy. | ||
| It was hard to see. | ||
| But the one time I saw it, it was just, oh. | ||
| To this day, I think back on it. | ||
| It blows me away because it really shifted. | ||
| In a real tangible way, the way I viewed people on a planet in space. | ||
| It's undeniable because it's so gorgeous and so epic. | ||
| Centering your eye and expanding your whole mind and consciousness. | ||
| And that does something to your big-ass program DNA shit, you know? | ||
| Once the eye sees it and takes it in, it's like the image, once the image is digested, you know, the image, you know, they say, where does it stop being that and become this? | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, all that integration. | ||
| That's the word. | ||
| Integration, yeah. | ||
| In the mind. | ||
| I think that lack of ability to see that is one of the things that's really screwed us up more than anything about modern civilization with all our lights, all our street lights and city lights. | ||
| You can't see the sky anymore. | ||
| When there's no lights at all, then you see all the stars. | ||
| And then you realize, oh, we're in space. | ||
| We're in space. | ||
| This isn't just the nighttime. | ||
| I'm not just in Manhattan looking at the sky. | ||
| We are in space. | ||
| When you have a full blackout in a place like Manhattan and all of a sudden you look at the sky and you're like, what is going on? | ||
| All these stars have been here the whole time, but you could never see them. | ||
| Light pollution. | ||
| It's a terrible thing. | ||
| Oh, I never heard it put like that. | ||
| Light pollution is a terrible thing that we've done. | ||
| We've denied people the view of the most gorgeous thing in all of the universe, the universe itself. | ||
| There's a lot of beautiful things. | ||
| Well, they say they put up those lights to help the homeless so they don't get raped and murdered. | ||
| That's what San Francisco did. | ||
| That's what San Francisco did to help the homeless. | ||
| Well, there's always going to be lights there. | ||
| There's just lights from buildings. | ||
| No, but they increased the lights. | ||
| Thanks, Nance. | ||
| I mean, it really helped, though. | ||
| You've got to admit, that really helped so many people. | ||
| The lights? | ||
| Yeah, not to get raped and stuff when they're living in a pile of shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And a few broken needles there. | ||
| One of my guests recently. | ||
| Have you seen it? | ||
| Yes, I have. | ||
| It's like, where was that place we used to always talk about in India? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Calcutta. | ||
| It's fucking full on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it goes for blocks. | ||
| And I just don't think that in California that should be allowed. | ||
| Well, it's way worse than it's ever been before, and it keeps getting worse. | ||
| And then what happened with those fires? | ||
| How come they don't have any water? | ||
| What was all that fire stuff? | ||
| Well, it was a perfect combination of wind and dry things, and the long drought that we had. | ||
| There was a lot of dead trees that just burned through everything. | ||
| That was terrible. | ||
| It's bad land management, don't you think? | ||
| There's certainly that, but there's also a lack of resources. | ||
| There's a lack of understanding that something like that can happen. | ||
| Sometimes it takes something like that to happen. | ||
| Maybe that was hitting bottom like Tiffany says and maybe now it's going to come back up. | ||
| That'd be good if it, you know, did the hourglass flip where it's like, okay, we hit the bottom now and now let's build back something good and better and stronger. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know, just by talking to each other more. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I hope so. | |
| I mean, maybe I could do a podcast and try to unite people, but there's so many things people could do to help their community right now that doesn't cost nothing. | ||
| And a lot of people my age, you know, well, they have some free time. | ||
| I mean, they're probably all babysitting their grandkids like we all are because their parents are working. | ||
| But if you have some free time... | ||
| in this generation, which happens to be the most educated and the richest of women that's ever been, maybe you could put some time towards doing something that helped the children in your community. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We could start that in little pods all over the place. | ||
| And then we could all report to each other the data so we can make it bigger and more connected. | ||
| Yeah, I haven't seen anybody that has a real solution for the homeless problem in L.A., or even a solution. | ||
| I haven't heard one thing that makes any sense. | ||
| People are saying they're going to do them Walmarts like that. | ||
| On the internet, I saw it. | ||
| Walmarts? | ||
| Yeah, and Walmarts are going to house the homeless. | ||
| That's what I saw. | ||
| They said it's going to be a crash, and there's going to be a lot of people losing their homes again, and they're going to have to go to Walmarts and live. | ||
| Live in Walmarts? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like camps. | |
| They're going to turn Walmarts into camps? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like the parking lot, you mean? | |
| Yeah, the whole thing. | ||
| The whole unit. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, like where they put people who come here and they have to house a lot of people. | ||
| You know, like they did after Katrina in the Super Bowl. | ||
| I mean, they have to house a lot of people after a catastrophe. | ||
| An economic catastrophe causes homelessness. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That has to be addressed, right? | ||
| Forget about the future, right? | ||
| Like, what about right now? | ||
| The homeless problem right now, how would anybody fix that? | ||
| 60,000 people just in LA. How do you fix that? | ||
| Well, a lot of people do this. | ||
| A lot of people that I know actually go and meet one homeless person and try to help that one person and take them into their homes. | ||
| These are people who are wealthy and they help them clean up and go to school. | ||
| People are doing things like that individually and it works. | ||
| Well, the problem, I think, though, is mental illness and drug addiction and, you know, most people don't have enough time. | ||
| Well, first they're going to have to get off drugs. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But most people don't have enough time to babysit another adult human being and try to guide them through this life. | ||
| Well, some of us like to stick our nose in other people's business and get involved, too. | ||
| I'm an old Jew. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| And I love telling people just exactly what I think they should do to better their self. | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| I've done it a lot and it's worked every time. | ||
| I've never had one failure. | ||
| You've never had one? | ||
| I pride myself on that. | ||
| And telling someone what to do, you mean? | ||
| Hell yes. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Except myself. | ||
| So you're bad at giving yourself advice. | ||
| You're good at other people. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| I know exactly what should be done to help people turn their life around. | ||
| I've done it a lot, and it's always worked. | ||
| Some of them are just assholes, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like Tom. | ||
| You know, when you sober up a guy, you know, a sober asshole... | ||
| I mean, a drunk asshole can sometimes become a sober asshole, and there's not much difference. | ||
| And people should be very aware of that, particularly women. | ||
| Just being sober, I don't mean shit. | ||
| It's what do they do. | ||
| It don't matter to me, like in my act, I want to say, good evening, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| You know who you are. | ||
| You know, because I don't care what you look like or nothing, it's what you do and how you act toward me. | ||
| If you're not nice to me, I'm not going to be nice to you. | ||
| How was the tour when you were touring with Dice? | ||
| I know you went on stage with him in Vegas. | ||
| That's when I heard about it. | ||
| Yeah, he brought me back from the dead. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you plan on going up that night? | |
| No. | ||
| He told me to and I was like, oh my god, no. | ||
| I went in the bed and I had like 40 nervous breakdowns. | ||
| I called everyone I knew and hardly anyone takes my calls anymore. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, because they're like, stop! | ||
| Because I obsess over and over and over and over. | ||
| Should I go on? | ||
| I don't know if I should go on. | ||
| I think I wouldn't be able to do it if I could. | ||
| Really? | ||
| So you think I should go? | ||
| I don't think I could do it. | ||
| I can't go on. | ||
| Why would you say I'd get on? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get up there, Roseanne! | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And he talked to you. | ||
| He's like a big brother to me. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| But I never had a big brother, you know. | ||
| I was the big sister. | ||
| And he said, come down here. | ||
| You only have to do five, and I'm going to sit on the stage behind you. | ||
| So how much better can that get? | ||
| During his show. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You can't go wrong. | ||
| And he worked it out to where it would look like it was just happening. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We had to rehearse that a few times. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But it was well received. | ||
| The people in the audience loved it. | ||
| I know that. | ||
| And then this tour, it was so wonderful. | ||
| It was a fucking boatload of fun. | ||
| Oh my god, I had so much fun. | ||
| A lot of my friends came. | ||
| Where'd you guys go? | ||
| The audience was great. | ||
| We went somewhere in Long Island and somewhere in Atlantic City. | ||
| And the audience was great. | ||
| And they were very kind to me. | ||
| And I had a blast, I have to say. | ||
| How much time did you do? | ||
| Because I really got to unload all the shit of people I hate, who I hate and why. | ||
| I did an hour. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Usually I do 90, but, you know, we were sharing, so I'm like, good, I'm happy to do an hour. | ||
| And then Dice came out, and, you know, it was like... | ||
| That guy, you know how he is. | ||
| He's a fucking master at what he does. | ||
| Fucking guy. | ||
| I can't believe it. | ||
| I mean, the level of performance. | ||
| Because I'm like this. | ||
| You know, that's it. | ||
| So then he's like this. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Okay, but he's over there. | ||
| You know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He gets into it. | ||
| Yeah, like a rock star. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And, you know, they loved him. | ||
| It was mostly men. | ||
| The couple jokes I had about feminism, it was silent. | ||
| It was just silent. | ||
| Because I have this one joke that usually kills her. | ||
| I go, I'm talking about Caitlyn Jenner. | ||
| Right. | ||
| She got the, you know, she went full chest. | ||
| Bruce Jenner went full Chaz Bono. | ||
| And now he's Caitlyn Jenner. | ||
| She's Caitlyn Jenner. | ||
| And she went full Chaz Bono. | ||
| Well, a little different. | ||
| I mean, Chaz, she had the adedictomy. | ||
| But, no, that's the name. | ||
| But it's way harder to go from a man to a woman because of what they do. | ||
| They take you in this room, they tie you to this table, they come in there, and they cut your pay in half. | ||
| And it wasn't one laugh. | ||
| Not one. | ||
| Oh well. | ||
| They should have laughed. | ||
| That pissed me off! | ||
| So you did two, and that's it? | ||
| We did two, and then Dice goes, okay, let's digest. | ||
| Let's see, you know, after the winter's over, if we want to do more, let's do more. | ||
| Because neither of us wants to go anywhere in the winter. | ||
| We're both Jewish. | ||
| Dice wants everyone to think he's Italian, but he's very Jewish. | ||
| Andrew Silverstein. | ||
| Saperstein. | ||
| Silverstein. | ||
| I thought it was Saperstein. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Yeah, it's Saperstein. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, Andy Sap. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| I could be wrong. | ||
| I can't remember anything. | ||
| Yeah, you could be right, too, though. | ||
| I think I'm right. | ||
| So he's... | ||
| He's a genius at performance level for 90 fucking minutes. | ||
| Yeah, no, I've always loved Dice. | ||
| State of the art, yeah. | ||
| So he's like back and forth to Vegas and here, right? | ||
| He just moved to New York. | ||
| He's getting so much work. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| He actually took an apartment in New York. | ||
| I'm like, you better have two bedrooms and I might crash there. | ||
| Well, what kind of work is he doing? | ||
| Because New York would be fun to do. | ||
| You know, he's doing a lot of stand-up. | ||
| Oh, stand-up in New York. | ||
| His whole new thing is a mature view of that same guy. | ||
| Oh, interesting. | ||
| You know, like dating the same girls as his sons and stuff. | ||
| It's good stuff. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| But I might move to New York, too, because, you know, somebody's got to shake something up. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| And I feel like shaking something up, and then I get very tired. | ||
| Just go to Hawaii. | ||
| But, you know, I just – the thing I mostly want to shake up is comics be brave. | ||
| Stick up for each other. | ||
| Now, if you guys had stuck up more for me, I think it would have stopped. | ||
| But you ignored it because you're like, well, she is a little bitch anyway. | ||
| She's done a lot of fucking stupid shit. | ||
| I think sometimes when the shit hits the fan with certain people, other folks get nervous that it's going to come at them if they defend you. | ||
| Of course, but, you know, now they're starting. | ||
| It's real weird to see a turnaround like Piers Morgan. | ||
| You know, he was quick to call me a racist on his show. | ||
| He said she's absolutely a racist to have compared this and that and saying she looks like this. | ||
| Well, of course, I never said that. | ||
| That's his interpretation of what I said. | ||
| Which now he has a little bit more time away from, so he's just called and said he would love to interview me, and my publicist said, well, after calling her a racist, I doubt that will happen. | ||
| And he said, well, I'm very sorry, and I want to apologize to her. | ||
| I reacted, you know, a knee-jerk reaction, as did many others. | ||
| I think he's also recognizing, and he wrote some—he did some stuff about it recently where he was on— I think he was on the Ben Shapiro show where he was talking about it and there was a clip and I actually retweeted the clip. | ||
| I'm going to do a Jew beatdown on that Ben Shapiro one of these days. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because he needs it. | ||
| What does he need a beatdown for? | ||
| Because he's a young man. | ||
| That's how I'm going to talk to people now. | ||
| Listen to me, young man. | ||
| You may think you know a thing or two about Judaism, but you do not know as much as I know, so you sit down and listen. | ||
| That's what I'll say. | ||
| Well, maybe he would just listen and you don't have to do all that. | ||
| Well, I just did it, so whatever. | ||
| Anyway, Pierce Morgan has been talking a lot about how ridiculous this outrage culture is. | ||
| Cancel culture, they call it. | ||
| They call it that because in my show, nobody else got canceled. | ||
| You know, what's her name called? | ||
| The president's Jewish daughter, a see you word, see you next Tuesday. | ||
| And nothing happened to her because she liked Hillary. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| I mean, it's just going to show, it just was all partisan. | ||
| And our media, that belongs to the people. | ||
| The airwaves are the people's airwave, another way to show public money going into private hands through corporate maneuvering. | ||
| But the airwaves belong to the public. | ||
| So you can't use the public's airwaves the way I see it to dumb down the public so they won't vote for you not putting poison in their community or their food. | ||
| It's all a scam from top to bottom. | ||
| It's all a scam, every bit of it. | ||
| It's going to implode. | ||
| It is imploding. | ||
| You mean society itself? | ||
| I don't think society, as long as people have love in their hearts for their children and their children's friends and each other and community. | ||
|
unidentified
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You think government? | |
| Government's going to implode. | ||
| It's going to collapse. | ||
| We keep trying, but I want to get back to this 700 years of artificial intelligence. | ||
| Yeah, well I just explained it for the last however long we were talking. | ||
| But what do you mean by artificial intelligence? | ||
| How is artificial intelligence running everything? | ||
| It's MKUltra Mind Control. | ||
| A mind control program that shoved down the fucking throats of a populace. | ||
| Of a captive population. | ||
| What is happening? | ||
| When you say MKUltra Mind Control. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Artificial intelligence. | ||
| What is happening to us? | ||
| Well, we're being bred... | ||
| For certain things. | ||
| We're being bred? | ||
| Well, we were bred, but we're being activated for certain things. | ||
| I'm mostly talking about the mentally ill, because I can see where all these things, these terrible things that happened, that was a mentally ill person who had mental health issues, and that's why it needs to be talked about. | ||
| Mental health issues come in all colors. | ||
| It's time to seriously do something about it rather than just looking the other way as people die in filth on your fancy streets of America. | ||
| We can't do this. | ||
| We have to have something else. | ||
| It can't be what it has been either. | ||
| It has to be a synthesis between all sorts of economic plans. | ||
| Johnny and I, we talk about this 24-7, me and my boyfriend. | ||
| That's all we live for is to come up with a solution. | ||
| And we talk about peopleism, which is a hybrid. | ||
| It has to be a synchronized hybrid of the use of money. | ||
| Making capitalism local and kind. | ||
| We can't believe nobody's thought of it yet, but this was part of my green plan for the Peace and Freedom Party as a Socialist in 2012. Well, I see that the Ocasio Solitude, whatever her name is, or AOC, I can't remember, Well, she took my green thing and fucked it up, and I'm pissed. | ||
| Because I did put forth solutions. | ||
| In fact, before Trump, I was the only politician running for any kind of office who came out with solutions. | ||
| And I thought that I influenced Trump because I ran my campaign totally on Twitter and self-financed and, you know, all those things and talking about a plan to make our communities work for us, the citizens. | ||
| Are you in contact with him? | ||
| Yeah, a little. | ||
| A little bit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh yeah, it's fucking exciting. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's like a fucking Mick Jagger rock star. | ||
| But he's bigger than Mick Jagger. | ||
| He's bigger than the Pope. | ||
| I mean, he is. | ||
| And what happened today in the Vatican, that's what I was going to ask you today. | ||
| Did you see? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| You saw it, right? | ||
| What did you see? | ||
| I haven't even looked at the news once today. | ||
| Let's check in with Conspiracy Headquarters. | ||
| Jamie's not Conspiracy Headquarters. | ||
| Well, I mean on the internet. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Jamie. | ||
| What does it say about what happened? | ||
| Jamie's like the opposite of Conspiracy Headquarters. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What happened in the Vatican today, according to... | |
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| A raid of the Vatican? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Five officials and employees were suspended. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Something to do with finances. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, finances. | ||
| It should be kid fucking. | ||
| A lot of computers. | ||
| No, no, honey. | ||
| Kid fucking and dead bodies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| A lot of computers were taken. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| It's going to be a lot of kid porn. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Guarantee. | ||
| There'll be a lot of horrible shit. | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like any place you look, whether it's in the church or, you know, Yeah, but the Vatican's like uniquely gross in that regard. | |
| I think there's 30 women who live in that city. | ||
| You know that it's its own nation? | ||
| Well, it's its own nation, yeah. | ||
| And there's 30 women in that nation. | ||
| See, what does that tell you? | ||
| That kind of tells you something, I think. | ||
| Well, when they were looking for that missing girl, when they found bodies. | ||
| A lot of kids come through there. | ||
| Thousands of bones. | ||
| A lot of teachers bring their students there to see history, because it does have history. | ||
| That's what makes me mad, is when it has a history of art, and it's all fucking art is totally fucking compromised by church and state. | ||
| So that the only way you can see it is by supporting their war on us. | ||
| Something else is going to happen. | ||
| Like Tiffany's talking about a new way of art, you know, it's kind of like crowdsource art. | ||
| I just like those ideas. | ||
| Like, what if we made a movie that way? | ||
| That'd be cool. | ||
| Well, Jamie, what's the rate about? | ||
| Financial information and computers. | ||
| They're not fully saying because it's being investigated at the moment. | ||
| It was the Vatican police who did it. | ||
| That's what's so great. | ||
| For a long time I've been saying or feeling like all the good people are coming together and leaving the bad people by the side of the way. | ||
| That's what we have to do. | ||
| We cannot include those parts of our people's Who are bad anymore, and that's how they worked us for a couple generations here. | ||
| But now we've got to let our own bad people go, and we don't protect nothing bad. | ||
| We embrace good in every other, all worldwide good comes to good. | ||
| And it even happened with the Vatican police, the good, because I always say like when I talk spirituality, I know you don't care about astrology or any of those things that I'm into, but I felt like... | ||
| The good was winning over the bad for a long, long time now and tipping the balance. | ||
| And this was proof to me because it's like the good came together against the bad. | ||
| Together. | ||
| That's what's going to happen everywhere. | ||
| It is happening. | ||
| It's just really chilling and wonderful to think about the things that, you know, President Trump has done by one or two actions he's taken. | ||
| Like what? | ||
| Well, he's so nice to the Jewish people, Joe. | ||
| He's the only president in the whole fucking western world who ever liked us. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He liked us most. | ||
| Obama didn't like the Jewish people? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Are you kidding? | ||
| No. | ||
| No? | ||
| No. | ||
| George Bush? | ||
| No. | ||
| No? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| In another hallway. | ||
| No, he don't. | ||
| He likes some. | ||
| He likes some of them. | ||
| What else has Trump done that you really like? | ||
| Well, when his daughter is there, she will light the Sabbath candles in the White House on Friday night, Ivanka. | ||
| So you're just all about anything Jewish. | ||
| Not anything. | ||
| But a lot of things. | ||
| Only the good. | ||
| I don't like the bad. | ||
| I'm for the good. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And the good is, hey, we have the ability to really fix some shit. | ||
| That's the best part. | ||
| We can travel deserts. | ||
| It takes us 40 years to go three miles because we're so stupid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But once we get it right, we can keep building something that works for all of us, and we can all actually like each other. | ||
| And then I could, as a grandmother, I feel that I'm denied this, to be able to travel freely in the world going to different cultures and sampling their wonderful foods. | ||
| You're denied this? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| How are you denied this? | ||
| Well, because there are some countries who don't welcome Jewish people. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| But I like their food, so I don't see why they can't have me over. | ||
| I was recently invited to Egypt, though, because I've bitched so much online about why do they not? | ||
| They like me. | ||
| Everyone likes me. | ||
| I'm not a mean person. | ||
| I'm mean to the devil. | ||
| I don't like that goddamn devil. | ||
| You think the devil's real? | ||
| The devil in my head is. | ||
| What's the devil in your head say? | ||
| What's the worst thing it's ever said? | ||
| Oh, Joe. | ||
| You don't want to go down that road, baby. | ||
| Said the worst things you could say. | ||
| But do you think it's really the devil? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Well, it's not me. | ||
| But do you think it's mental illness? | ||
| Yeah, that's my devil. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And like for a lot of us, we do have that devil voice. | ||
| Yeah, a lot of people do. | ||
| We got a devil voice. | ||
| Well, we're the ancestors of some pretty violent animals. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| I used to think that way until this whole Planet of the Apes thing, Joe. | ||
| And now I'm going to tell you exactly what I think about that. | ||
| I think apes evolved from humans. | ||
| So humans were first. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then, well, you know there's a whole fossil record, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huh? | |
| Yeah, they actually understand the various steps. | ||
| Well, they think they understand. | ||
| Well, they do it by carbon isotope dating. | ||
| Nope, I'm not going to accept it. | ||
| Nope, not accepting carbon dating. | ||
| That's why they call it the theory of evolution, because it's not correct. | ||
| Is it carbon isotope dating, or is it carbon isotopes with the use of tests for drugs? | ||
| Do you believe in evolution? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Have you looked around lately? | ||
| Yeah, I don't think it's perfect. | ||
| I think there's a problem with society that we let, I mean, it's a terrible thing to say, but there's a lot of people that don't really have the best genetics or the best life experiences or the best things to offer, and they're breeding and they're doing a terrible job of raising children. | ||
| I so agree. | ||
| That's one thing I am really getting pissed at is how these women are raising their kids. | ||
| When I see them out, I get so goddamn mad, Joe. | ||
| I get so fucking irate. | ||
| A lot of terrible men out there, too. | ||
| I've seen more mean women to their kids than men. | ||
| There's a lot of mean men. | ||
| Well, they're usually mean to the mom. | ||
| The men are usually mean to the women. | ||
| But the women take it out on the kid, don't you think? | ||
| I think men are mean to kids, too. | ||
| I mean, there's just mean people, and someone was mean to them, and it's an imperfect cycle. | ||
| I think that's what I'm getting at, is that evolution, even if it is real, there's a lot of people that are, I mean, it's not like the best versions of humans are all that's represented today in 2019. I just want to make sure everyone gets mentioned so nobody... | ||
| Because the thing I think that is the enemy of humans is self-righteous indignation. | ||
| I think that's the devil. | ||
| And when that devil starts talking in my head, that's always where it starts with the self-righteous indignation, which gives me the right to do any mean shit I want. | ||
| Treat people like the other. | ||
| They're wrong. | ||
| They're the other. | ||
| You're the right one. | ||
| And it's not going to work. | ||
| It's just not going to work. | ||
| Roseanne, I hope you do a podcast. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| And if you really want to do one, I'm going to help you. | ||
| I'm going to connect you. | ||
| I'll connect you to someone who will set it up, plug and play. | ||
| Because I always think I could really help a lot of people because I have learned to live with catastrophic mental illness. | ||
| I mean, I fuck up sometimes, obviously. | ||
| But, you know, if I don't take care of myself, yeah, I do. | ||
| Maybe you're a journalist friend. | ||
| Maybe she could do it with you. | ||
| I think you guys, I think it'd be very entertaining. | ||
| I think you could have a good time. | ||
| I think you could enjoy yourself, too. | ||
| Well, thanks for having me. | ||
| It was wonderful to see you again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
My pleasure. | |
| It's always great to see you. | ||
| Anytime. | ||
| Could you tell I did my own eye makeup? | ||
| You look wonderful. | ||
| I do? | ||
| Oh, good. | ||
| See, that's the only part of this whole thing I'll remember. | ||
| That and the Vatican deal. | ||
| Are you still active on Twitter? | ||
| Can people still find you there? | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, no, the kids took it away. | ||
| They won't give me the thing. | ||
| What about Instagram? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Good. | ||
| You don't need to. | ||
| My kids put good pictures up there. | ||
| Oh, that's good. | ||
| I got my own YouTube channel. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I forgot. | ||
| I got my own YouTube channel where I try to sneak my drunken videos on, but my kids force me to delete. | ||
| But I do try. | ||
| Well, you got to get away from those kids. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I'm going to China. | ||
| I'm not Beijing. | ||
| I'm going to Beijing. | ||
| We'll talk after this. | ||
| I'm going to try to set you up. | ||
| Thank you, Roseanne. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| My pleasure. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Bye, everybody. | ||
| Can I pick this up? |
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