April 9, 2019 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:00:16
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Will you go through all three of those? | ||
| No. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| No, one other one is for you. | ||
| Oh, okay, good. | ||
| Just in case you wanted to. | ||
| Good. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| You're a fucking beast going through three. | ||
| Oh, we're live. | ||
| We're trying to figure out how much... | ||
| I think these are 270 milligrams of caffeine. | ||
| If you drank three of these... | ||
| Jamie, that would kill you, right? | ||
| That would kill you? | ||
| No. | ||
| It wouldn't kill you. | ||
| It would fuck you up. | ||
| I thought you walked in with three coffees. | ||
| I was like, God damn, Rogan. | ||
| You're going to die. | ||
| Like, straight up die after the show. | ||
| One is for you, and hopefully we won't need both. | ||
| Well, I don't know. | ||
| I've drank both of them before in a show, which is like 500 plus milligrams. | ||
| I'm addicted to coffee, though, man. | ||
| I will just drink it. | ||
| I don't even need a high. | ||
| I'll just drink it. | ||
| I love the smell of it. | ||
| It's so good in the morning, man. | ||
| Oh, it's the best. | ||
| And I love it with cream. | ||
| I love it black. | ||
| I love espresso. | ||
| I love it all. | ||
| See, I got rid of drinking the whole coffee. | ||
| I'm now an espresso drinker. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Two shots in the morning. | ||
| A double shot. | ||
| A double shot. | ||
| And then like a couple hours later, another. | ||
| I'll do like eight double shots throughout the day because to me that's better than drinking one coffee. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But it's not? | ||
| It's not. | ||
| It's actually, apparently, espresso has less caffeine in it than coffee does. | ||
| Even though it seems like it has a lot, it doesn't. | ||
| But you have to drink more acidic acid. | ||
|
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It just tastes like shit. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It doesn't taste like shit, but it's definitely an acquired taste. | ||
| I enjoy it, but it's one of the rare things I drink that is that big, and I'm holding my finger up like a... | ||
| Two inches. | ||
| Two inches. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's two inches and it'll take me 10-15 minutes to drink it. | ||
| For an espresso? | ||
| Yeah, it should be like a slow. | ||
| Oh my god, why are you drinking so slow? | ||
| I like it. | ||
| I like the savory. | ||
| Nah, man. | ||
| Like this, like a gentleman. | ||
| Pinky's out, bro. | ||
| Pinky's out. | ||
| There's only one way to do it, with these fat Neanderthal fingers. | ||
| If you're holding that little tiny handle, you can't get your whole hand in there like a man. | ||
| You can't look like a man drinking an espresso. | ||
| Right, it's not like a beer stein made out of a rhino horn. | ||
|
unidentified
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No. | |
| It's a tiny little thing. | ||
| You cannot look tough drinking an espresso. | ||
| But I drink mine in like three seconds. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| Just throw it down. | ||
| And then I go to the gym. | ||
| Well, I do that too. | ||
| One time I drank five. | ||
| I have an espresso espresso maker and I put five capsules in there and I filled a mug up with it. | ||
| Like a coffee mug. | ||
| And I drank it and I ran four miles like a fucking animal through the hills like I was being chased by wolves. | ||
| You're just howling. | ||
| I was like, What the fuck am I doing? | ||
| Wolves are chasing you. | ||
| I was like, why did I drink so much? | ||
| So what is espresso at? | ||
| What does it say there, Jamie? | ||
| Okay, coffee brewed. | ||
| See, but it all depends on the company. | ||
| Because Starbucks is extremely caffeinated. | ||
| Yeah, see, Starbucks is way up the chart. | ||
| Look at it there. | ||
| Starbucks Tall is like closing in on 200 and... | ||
| It looks like about 270. Yeah, I think that's about... | ||
| Somewhere in the range of 270 milligrams of caffeine. | ||
| But that's a coffee. | ||
| That's not... | ||
| Right, not espresso. | ||
| So coffee, it would be better to go to Starbucks and get a tall coffee then. | ||
| There's an espresso. | ||
| See how low it is? | ||
| It's below 100. Yeah, so that's why I'm drinking so many of them. | ||
| So when I drank five, I guess, I think I had five. | ||
| I think 500 milligrams, which is basically less than drinking two of these things. | ||
| See? | ||
| Yeah, these caveman nitros. | ||
| These are the shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I live off these goddamn things. | ||
| They're responsible for half my productivity. | ||
| Basically, I'm too chicken shit to go on Adderall, so I just drink this stuff all day. | ||
| What? | ||
| Well, yeah, it's a good move. | ||
| Good move. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with coffee, man. | ||
| I'm scared of Adderall. | ||
| But people admit they're addicted to coffee, and everyone's like, ah, me too. | ||
| If you go, dude, I am so addicted to Adderall, they're like, okay, Joe. | ||
| Dude, I'm not calling you anymore. | ||
| You're going to think I'm lame, but until five years ago, I didn't even know what Adderall it was. | ||
| No, I think you're smart. | ||
| Good for you. | ||
| Like, all my friends in Houston, they do it. | ||
| And I ask my friend, like, I text them. | ||
| And I go, hey, man, what's your Addy? | ||
| And he goes, yeah, we got Adderall. | ||
| I was like, what? | ||
| No, your address to go to your house. | ||
| Literally, he thought I was talking about Adderall, and then he explained to me, like, when you're in a club and you want to stay up and you want to stay, like, energized, you take Adderall. | ||
| And I was like, oh, okay. | ||
| But I don't drink, so I can stay up until 3, 4 o'clock in the morning and be fine. | ||
| What's fascinating about Adderall is what they've essentially done is taken an amphetamine and made it so that if you prescribe it for a condition, right, like they give it to people who have... | ||
| ADD is one of them, right? | ||
| Whatever the fuck that means. | ||
| And it's very debatable whether or not you have it or don't have it. | ||
| Everybody has ADD. I have it, for sure. | ||
| If it's real, I have it. | ||
| But they give you Adderall, which is fucking speed. | ||
| And because it's a medication that you give to somebody who supposedly has a condition, and by the way, I'm not diagnosing you. | ||
| If you're out there, you're getting frustrated with me right now. | ||
| Just listen to me. | ||
| It's fucking speed. | ||
| Maybe you need speed. | ||
| Maybe you're that person that needs speed. | ||
| Maybe you do need it legitimately as a medication. | ||
| But there's a fuckload of people that are just doing speed. | ||
| So by somebody giving you speed, it's supposed to slow you down so you won't have ADD? Is that the reasoning? | ||
| That's what they say. | ||
| They say if you have the legit ADD. Look, I am not doubting that some people have whatever the fuck I have worse than I have it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a spectrum, right? | ||
| With everything. | ||
| But... | ||
| For some people, when they take Adderall or similar type of substances, it actually lets them focus. | ||
| And they can actually be on track. | ||
| So by speeding it up, somehow it focuses in. | ||
| I don't get it. | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| I think the idea is that it's proof that their system is wired wrong, which is why when you give them that speed, they can center out and mellow out. | ||
| My friend's a doctor, and I was talking to him, and I used to just pop by to say what's up, and he goes, hey man, just to let you know, the more you go to a doctor, the faster you'll die. | ||
| And I go, what? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's like, I just want to let you know. | ||
| No, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He says, the more you go to us, you come to us, the faster you'll die. | ||
| I was like, what are you talking about? | ||
| Because a lot of doctors are crooked, and they'll give you something for what you think you got. | ||
| And then after that wears off, they have to give you something else. | ||
| So now you just keep filling yourself with stuff to fix the other thing that was wrong. | ||
| And he goes... | ||
| Some doctors are not good people. | ||
| And he goes, the more people go to doctors, the faster they die. | ||
| Put it in a point, my mom beat breast cancer twice, right? | ||
| And my dad's never been to the doctor. | ||
| He's 75 years old, never been to the doctor once. | ||
| Because he's like, well, as soon as you go to the doctor, they tell you something wrong, you die. | ||
| You know, literally. | ||
| Yeah, but if you have cancer, you should go to a fucking doctor. | ||
| Well, he didn't have cancer, my mom did. | ||
| Right, but if he had cancer, he should go to a fucking doctor. | ||
| But I don't think he would go, even if he hadn't. | ||
| But your mom beat it twice, and she's still here. | ||
| Yes, she is. | ||
| And the second time she beat it, she didn't even tell me she had it. | ||
| Doesn't your dad want to beat it if he gets it? | ||
| Nah. | ||
| My dad is kind of like, hey, I've been through a lot. | ||
| I'm fine. | ||
| He hates going to the doctor. | ||
| The only time he went to the doctor, he had a back problem. | ||
| And that's it. | ||
| But that's old school. | ||
| What if you met a good doctor? | ||
| Like a doctor that he likes. | ||
| Like a guy he plays golf with or some shit. | ||
| My dad is not social. | ||
| He's not? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
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No? | |
| No, I'm totally... | ||
|
unidentified
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It's weird. | |
| You're so social. | ||
| I'm totally opposite. | ||
| Like, my dad's story is crazy. | ||
| Like, he went through segregation. | ||
| He got a PhD in nuclear physics. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, yeah. | |
| My dad's a genius. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| And you're out there talking shit and telling jokes. | ||
| Telling jokes. | ||
| I'm a failure in my life. | ||
| But you're not, because you're a success at it, so he's got to go, all right. | ||
| Yeah, he's the one that told me to drop out of college. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I played football for the- How did he say it, though? | ||
| He said, you need to drop out of college. | ||
| You're not smart. | ||
| See, that's not supportive. | ||
| It's not like, Michael, you need to drop out of college and chase your dreams. | ||
| Oh, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| He was like, my dad's whole thing is, I got a PhD in nuclear physics. | ||
| I know what wanting to be in school is. | ||
| And you don't want to be in school. | ||
| And you got a personality. | ||
| Go do that. | ||
| But you're dumb. | ||
| Like, literally. | ||
| He would say that. | ||
| My parents were not supportive. | ||
| They were just not supportive. | ||
| Like, my mom wanted me to be a doctor. | ||
| But she knew I wasn't bright enough to be a doctor. | ||
| So, like, my dad said, you got to drop out. | ||
| See, I don't think you're not bright enough to be a doctor. | ||
| I think you're not interested in being a doctor. | ||
| See, because I see how you pursue stand-up and show business. | ||
| You're a bright, ambitious guy. | ||
| Oh, 100%. | ||
| You just don't want to be operating on people that are on anesthesia with fucking headlamps on and shit and rubber gloves covered with blood. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| I don't want nobody dying on me. | ||
| That would be the worst, having somebody die while you're working on them, and then you've got to go tell their family, hey, man, sorry, my bad. | ||
| Jeez. | ||
| The pressure of those people. | ||
| Jamie, was it you that was telling me yesterday about the guy who's the EMT? Tell me what you told me. | ||
| He said he was listening to the podcast we did with Luis J. Gomez about people getting head injuries. | ||
| And he has been doing, I believe, for like 15 years or so. | ||
| Doesn't do it every single day because you don't work every single day, but on a three-day basis or so. | ||
| Every day he works, he sees at least one person dead from a head injury. | ||
| Whether it's an elderly person, they slept on ice, something. | ||
| People fall and hit their heads. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's why, please, folks, if you're listening to me and you want to punch somebody and knock them out, please don't do it. | ||
| Just go to a gym, get your frustrations out, don't fight on the street. | ||
| You could kill somebody or you can get killed, even accidentally. | ||
| Even if you really don't hate the guy that much, you punch him in the face, they go unconscious, their head hits the ground, people die all the time. | ||
| I mean, I've told the story about when Kevin James used to work as a bouncer in Long Island, a guy that he was working with punched a guy and killed him. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, Kevin wasn't there, but he knew the guy, and the guy accidentally killed a drunk guy. | ||
| Drunk guy's coming at him. | ||
| He punched him, I guess. | ||
| I don't know the whole story. | ||
| But that shit happens all the time. | ||
| I've seen guys get knocked out. | ||
| And it's not about the punch, though. | ||
| It's about when they hit their head after the punch. | ||
| You're getting hit by the world. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Think about that. | ||
| Think of the world just dropped on your head. | ||
| That's what it's like. | ||
| Your body mass bouncing off a completely, especially concrete. | ||
| There's no give. | ||
| So your head just... | ||
| It sounds horrible. | ||
| Listening to someone's head bounce off concrete is one of the scariest fucking sounds. | ||
| It's horrible. | ||
| Even if you do it to somebody and you wanted to hurt them, when you hear their head bounce off concrete, you're like, oh shit. | ||
| That's not as simple as you punch them. | ||
| You punch them and then... | ||
| Whatever they weigh. | ||
| 190 pounds with all their mass and gravity pulling them towards the ground with nothing slowing it down. | ||
| But meat and head. | ||
| Bang! | ||
| Bone! | ||
| Shoulder! | ||
| That reminds me of when I was... | ||
| 10 years old, I was sitting on the curb. | ||
| And this is the first time I saw death in real life from a head injury. | ||
| I was sitting with my friend on the curb and a guy was driving a motorcycle and he was speeding up and down the street. | ||
| And right on Iriswood in Houston, Texas, he's flying down, a car pulls out. | ||
| And he hits it. | ||
| Back then they didn't wear helmets. | ||
| So he literally flew up in the air and landed about 20 feet from us. | ||
| His head hit first and exploded like a watermelon. | ||
| And this is like, I was 10 years old watching this. | ||
| So the next morning, you know, the police come. | ||
| My parents get me to tell me don't look at it. | ||
| I go out there the next day. | ||
| It's just bloodstains everywhere. | ||
| And his wife is picking up his hair. | ||
| That stuck to the concrete. | ||
| And I remember it so vividly. | ||
| Next door neighbor was Eric. | ||
| And we were sitting on the curb watching this lady pick up her husband's hair that was stuck. | ||
| And that's the first time I ever saw death. | ||
| And it was a gnarly death, too. | ||
| It was like that faces of death stuff. | ||
| It was bad. | ||
| It was bad. | ||
| I never rode a motorcycle because of that. | ||
| Yeah, there's not a lot of reasons to ride a motorcycle other than it's awesome. | ||
| The fucking danger. | ||
| I took motorcycle safety classes and then two of my friends wiped out. | ||
| One of them got hit by a car and one of them fell going around a corner and fucked his shoulder up. | ||
| After that accident, probably about six years later, you know when three-wheelers were big back then? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And my friend, same friend that was on the curb, we were three-wheeling, and where I grew up, there was a bunch of ditches. | ||
| So we were going, and he thought he could go down in the ditch and come up the other side, but I think he forgot that it's flat on the bottom of real ditches. | ||
| So literally, we're going, and We hit the bottom and I flew up and literally half my face was like just wrecked. | ||
| I was in the hospital and we didn't have helmets at that time. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Because we were young and dumb and just wanted to like. | ||
| Stupid. | ||
| Like when you let boys just wander around. | ||
| It's never good. | ||
| It's never the dumb shit that they do that they think is okay. | ||
| Let's try this. | ||
| Hey, take those fireworks and stick them in this tree. | ||
| This old rotted down tree. | ||
| Let's blow it up. | ||
| And the problem is, I think today, parents, at least we know more. | ||
| I feel we tell, but like our parents, at least my parents, they didn't really give me guidance. | ||
| You know, they were kind of like, hey, figure it out on your own. | ||
| Mine, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think that was that generation, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, my parents is the parents that didn't tell you they loved me until I was 29, and I forced them to. | ||
| It's that kind of thing. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's different. | ||
| Yeah, my parents tell me they love me all the time. | ||
|
unidentified
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My parents were hippies. | |
| My mom and my stepdad are hippies. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe it was in a good way. | ||
| In a good way. | ||
| Really nice people. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| They didn't tell me shit, though. | ||
| Like, what to do. | ||
| All of a sudden, why are your grades so bad? | ||
| I'm like, I don't know. | ||
| What the fuck do I do? | ||
| Tell me so much what to do. | ||
| But they've worked, man. | ||
| If you have a full-time job and the wife has a full-time job and you're raising children, man, how much time does that really leave? | ||
| I mean, none. | ||
| You don't get home until 6, 7. When do you get out of work? | ||
| At 5? | ||
| By the time you get home, the kids have been home from school for 3 hours. | ||
| They're already exhausted. | ||
| They just want to eat and go to sleep. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're not learning anything about each other for like five days a week. | ||
| Well, my mom worked for my dad, so I got to see my mom a lot. | ||
| But it was the type of relationship where when I was growing up, my mom's Asian, my dad's black. | ||
| I guess there wasn't that, hey, we love you. | ||
| I mean, I knew they loved me, but they didn't ever say it. | ||
|
unidentified
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They didn't express it. | |
| And the only reason they said it is because I was dating a girl at the time, and they used the I love you thing all the time. | ||
| And I thought that was very strange, because I've never heard people just say it all the time. | ||
| Hey, I love you, I love you, I love you. | ||
| So I called my dad, and I was like, hey, I love you. | ||
| And he hung up. | ||
| Literally, he was just like, okay. | ||
| Alright, cool. | ||
| And then he hung up. | ||
| And then now, after I got married and have a kid, now we say, I love you all the time. | ||
| Because I don't want my son to grow up with, no, I love you. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| It's a different time for them, man. | ||
| It was a different time. | ||
| It's a foolish insecurity. | ||
| Because if you say you love you, if you say I love you to someone, either they love you back and it feels great, or they don't and you don't hang out with them anymore. | ||
| Well, I reserve it for people that I love. | ||
| And usually they love you too. | ||
| There's something wrong with your wiring. | ||
| If you're looking at it wrong, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nah, that's never happened to me, Joe, where I told somebody I loved them and they said nothing back. | ||
| It can happen. | ||
| Dudes clam up sometimes. | ||
| Tell a friend you love them. | ||
| Hey, I love you, man. | ||
| They go, yikes. | ||
| This is not for me. | ||
| This is too weird, man. | ||
| I grew up in Nebraska. | ||
| But I think it's also a young dude thing, too. | ||
| When you're young, you're macho. | ||
| You don't want to say I love you to another dude. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Especially if you're living in Nebraska. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm just kidding, Nebraska. | ||
| Don't get uptight. | ||
| Somebody sent me a box of Nebraska t-shirts. | ||
| Like the Cornhuskers? | ||
| Like, listen, son, I ain't wearing that. | ||
| My wife's father is from Nebraska. | ||
| Is he? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| It's a good spot. | ||
| It's as good a spot as any. | ||
| All those spots that used to suck, they don't suck as much anymore because of the internet. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I mean, what's there to do in Nebraska? | ||
| Let's be serious. | ||
| Pheasant hunt. | ||
| I think it's a good pheasant hunting spot. | ||
| Okay, they got the corn huskers. | ||
| They got corn. | ||
| I mean, if you just want to be alone and start a cult, I think it's a good spot to start out. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you want to start a cult, though, you've got to live in an attractive climate. | ||
| You know, I think that's why... | ||
| That's why... | ||
| What's that place in Arizona that everybody goes to? | ||
| Scottsdale? | ||
|
unidentified
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No, no, no. | |
| The other one. | ||
|
unidentified
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Sedona? | |
| Yeah, that one. | ||
| That's the one where all the cult leaders go to. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| How do you explain Waco then? | ||
| That's the armpit of Texas. | ||
| It is, but it isn't. | ||
| You can get to Dallas pretty quick from Waco. | ||
| You can recruit. | ||
| You can go to Dallas. | ||
| You can go to Ranch out in Waco. | ||
| Go check out a Cowboys game. | ||
| Come back. | ||
| It's not that far. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, I couldn't... | ||
| This whole cult thing, I don't get it. | ||
| Sedona's a weird one, right? | ||
| Because it's all like crystals and healers. | ||
| It's all people looking to be spiritual. | ||
| They've given up on traditional religion, but they seem to need that sort of vibe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so they get into like spiritual stuff and channelers and healers. | ||
| Have you got into that stuff ever? | ||
| Yeah, I'm into it all day long. | ||
| I'm all about channeling, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| That's my thing. | ||
| I'm into channeling. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| I think we... | ||
| I really do believe, and I've been believing this more and more lately, though, that our understanding of what our memory is is very limited. | ||
| And that the reason why people are scared of things, some things, is probably because there's some sort of genetic memory of someone that they knew... | ||
| Like, I bet your kid will have... | ||
| Somehow or another, that knowledge of that motorcycle accident, I think shit like that goes through DNA. Really? | ||
| Yeah, I do. | ||
| I think that's why kids are scared of monsters. | ||
| Why are kids scared of monsters? | ||
| Why aren't they scared of bullets or fires? | ||
| They're scared of something that I was scared of growing up? | ||
| No, that animals used to eat people. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| I think monsters represent like jaguars and shit. | ||
| Like you're going through the jungle to try to get some water and you get jacked. | ||
| That's our ancestors. | ||
| All of our ancestors. | ||
| Every single human being on this planet came from Africa. | ||
| All of us. | ||
| 100% of us. | ||
| Everyone. | ||
| Asian, black, white. | ||
| All of us got eaten. | ||
| All of our ancestors got eaten. | ||
| So in our DNA, it's wired. | ||
| There's cats out there, bro. | ||
| What are you afraid of? | ||
| Monsters in the dark. | ||
| Those are cats, man. | ||
| We got jacked by cats like all the time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| So that's why everybody's scared of things under the bed. | ||
| What's in the closet? | ||
| They're hiding. | ||
| They're cats. | ||
| Big cats looking to get you. | ||
| I don't know about that. | ||
|
unidentified
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This is very scary for a moment, but I don't believe in that, Joe. | |
| Why do you think that animals have instincts? | ||
| Here's a perfect example. | ||
| But we have instincts. | ||
| Right, but what kind of instincts? | ||
| Animals have weird instincts. | ||
| They all sniff each other's assholes. | ||
| They all piss on spots where other animals did. | ||
| Nobody had to teach my dog how to do that. | ||
| My dog, I got him when he was six weeks old. | ||
| And I've had him for two and a half years. | ||
| That motherfucker will sniff something, and he sees somebody peed on it, he pees on it. | ||
| But he learned that from his... | ||
| He didn't learn that from nobody. | ||
| No, he learned that from his dog people. | ||
| When he came over here, he didn't know jack shit. | ||
| So he learned that from us? | ||
| No, I think it's in his DNA. Okay, yeah, I get that. | ||
| But what is the DNA? Like, doesn't your DNA carry some traces of information onto your own children? | ||
| What I notice in my children is they share certain weird traits that I have, like obsessive-compulsive traits that I don't think they see, because I don't really bring that home. | ||
| Especially the workout stuff and some things that I really get kind of psychotic about, martial arts stuff. | ||
| My middle daughter has that in a crazy way. | ||
| And I'm like, oh, okay, this is me if I was a girl. | ||
| Like if I was a little girl, this is me. | ||
| So is this my memory that's in her? | ||
| Or do I have some weird, obsessive gene? | ||
| Which is it? | ||
| It is the DNA because I see my son. | ||
| He's only two. | ||
| He just turned two. | ||
| But he makes facial expressions and looks like he does certain looks that I do. | ||
| And my wife goes, he's acting like you right now. | ||
| Do you think he's acting like you because he sees you act like that? | ||
| Or is he acting like you because he knows in his head that that's how you react? | ||
| He's wired like that. | ||
| Because when I watch it, he doesn't know. | ||
| Like, a lot of this stuff he does, I don't even do. | ||
| He just does. | ||
| Like, my mom will come over and she'll watch him. | ||
| She'll go, you know, he's just like you when you were this age. | ||
| And it's so weird. | ||
| Yeah, it's in the DNA. It's in something, right? | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| Whether it's in cellular memory, DNA, some sort of genetic information gets passed on from the parents to the child. | ||
| You could say that about athletics though. | ||
| No, but that's a little different though. | ||
| But it's in the DNA. Yeah, it is in the DNA, but it's not an ethereal thing like a thought. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, here's one. | ||
| Aphidiophobia or arachnophobia, fear of snakes or spiders. | ||
| Have you ever seen anybody who has that? | ||
| Well, you were on Fear Factor with me. | ||
| Oh my god, that was the worst. | ||
| I should say, you made it out, brother. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| Congratulations! | ||
| No, do you remember? | ||
| Season one, episode one. | ||
| I was the pilot episode. | ||
| The pilot episode. | ||
| And that's where I met you for the first time. | ||
| Can you believe 16, what, 2001? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| That's 18 years ago. | ||
| 18 years ago we met. | ||
| Because that was right after 9-11. | ||
| Yes, right after. | ||
| And they flew us down. | ||
| And the first time I met you, it was at Saddle Ranch. | ||
| And you were like, welcome. | ||
| Look at this, dude. | ||
| Okay, this is way later. | ||
| This is way later when we did the new season of it in like 2011. Yeah, you tried to get me to eat that spider. | ||
| Yeah, that spider didn't even taste bad, bro. | ||
| Dude, that's not a normal thing. | ||
| And you just chomped it like a chance. | ||
| So this whole scene, I'm acting like a little bee. | ||
| Oh, you just was a little fearful. | ||
| You had to eat sheep's eyeballs, though. | ||
| I remember what you had to eat. | ||
| Dude, now those were disgusting. | ||
| Yeah, I ate it because I felt bad for you guys. | ||
| That was before I'd hardened. | ||
| I'd been hardened to the world. | ||
| Because you guys were episode one, season one. | ||
| And it didn't seem right for me that you guys would have to eat these things and I didn't eat it. | ||
| So I said, alright, if you guys eat it, I'll eat it too. | ||
| But they didn't show it. | ||
| Like, they wouldn't show it on television that I ate it. | ||
| Because they didn't want it to look too easy. | ||
| Easy, yeah. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| It tastes like shit, though. | ||
| But yeah, oh my god. | ||
| I remember biting down into it and it kind of like burst. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then that retina that you had to just chomp. | ||
| Yeah, you had to chew on that retina. | ||
| And we had to eat three of them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They weren't good. | ||
| No, they were horrible. | ||
| But you know what was surprisingly mild? | ||
| I ate a roach. | ||
| I'm not bragging. | ||
| It just didn't taste like much. | ||
| Just a roach? | ||
| No, it doesn't taste like much. | ||
| But why would you eat a roach? | ||
| Was that part of the show? | ||
| Yeah, it was... | ||
| It was a celebrity fear factor, and there was a young lady who was scared to eat a roach, and she was going to get eliminated from the show, and so I said, listen, I'll make you a deal. | ||
| If you do it, I'll do it. | ||
| And she's like, you will? | ||
| I go, yeah, I will. | ||
| And she wouldn't do it, so she made a deal, like three worms. | ||
| She decided, I'll eat three worms. | ||
| Yeah, uh-huh. | ||
| I remember when I was on that show, the question they would ask you in the survey is, what's your fear of dying? | ||
| And I wrote down, dying underwater. | ||
| Because that would be my biggest fear, is dying underwater. | ||
| And so our last stunt was when they dumped us underwater. | ||
| And my friends still send me screenshots of that because that's when I had long hair and I put a bunch of gel in it. | ||
| And they dunked me under the tank and literally it looked like a squid shooting out. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| You can Google it. | ||
| Google Michael Yeo, Fear Factor. | ||
| And my friends will just screenshot that. | ||
| And they still play that. | ||
| To this day, they still play that episode of Fear Factor. | ||
| They play them on different, like True TV or something like that, one of those cable shows. | ||
| I remember when we were talking, I would go, because you were, what show were you on at that time? | ||
| News Radio. | ||
| You were on News Radio. | ||
| Well, that was a couple of years earlier. | ||
| There you are. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| Yeah, and, oh, okay, so that's the Chief Eye Boss. | ||
| Michael Yeo. | ||
| Look at you eating sheep's eyeballs. | ||
| So at the end, I go to Joe and I go, hey man, I can't do the last stunt. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Okay, so this is you talking to me. | ||
| Because Joe goes, hey, I go, Joe, I'm not going to be able to make it through this whole stunt. | ||
| I can't hold my breath for that long. | ||
| And you go, I'll just make it look great for the camera. | ||
| So when I get it, I was going to try to talk you into it, but I wasn't good enough at it then. | ||
| I had to figure out how to talk people into it, because I knew there were some people that were just psyching themselves out. | ||
| Yeah, and the smoker won our episode. | ||
| The guy that we thought was going to lose. | ||
| No oxygen in his fucking system. | ||
| He's used to having no oxygen. | ||
| And that's when they casted Fear Factor off of personality. | ||
| And then it just became a hot fest. | ||
| It was a lot of it. | ||
| It was also, you know, they kept ramping up the difficulty of stuff. | ||
| Like, the last season scared the shit out of me. | ||
| When they were launching a car through a moving train and an explosion happens in the car. | ||
| It was like, what? | ||
| You're going to kill somebody. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And when I came up to your, I think it was the last season, y'all were doing something with a donkey dong? | ||
| Donkey cum. | ||
| Donkey cum. | ||
| That's what got us canceled. | ||
| Yes! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because I remember showing up and Joe says, come here, yo. | |
| And he goes, you're about to drink donkey cum. | ||
| I thought everybody was going to quit when I showed up that day. | ||
| And they brought the paper into my trailer and they told me what it was going to be. | ||
| I don't think I knew about that one before. | ||
| Some of them I knew about before, but I don't think I knew about that one. | ||
| I think when they brought that in, I had no idea. | ||
| And I was like, you can't do this. | ||
| I'm like, no one's going to do it, first of all. | ||
| They're all going to quit. | ||
| But what was hilarious is I'm sitting there next to you watching them drink this stuff. | ||
| And then we're just laughing. | ||
| But dude, how about an intern had to drink it? | ||
| An intern had to drink it. | ||
| I think they only got like $100. | ||
| For what? | ||
| Well, there was like part of the thing is that they would have to test it. | ||
| When they would like say, here's some fair factor info. | ||
| So like say if you had to eat like kidneys, right? | ||
| How many kidneys can someone eat in a minute? | ||
| You know, like how much meat can you actually like disgusting dried meat can you consume? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| And so what we had was certain interns that would volunteer for it, and they would get like an extra hundred and something dollars. | ||
| And I would always give them money too. | ||
| I would always give them a couple hundred bucks on top of it. | ||
| But they would eat whatever the fuck it was, and then they would determine, all right, well, Mike usually can put it down like no one. | ||
| And if he could only get through three, and then some other producer would come in and go, fuck this, we're being pussies, make them eat four. | ||
| Four? | ||
| You guys are crazy! | ||
| And this was like the debate. | ||
| The debate on the set would be like, how much blood should they drink? | ||
| One gallon! | ||
| One gallon of blood! | ||
| They never drank blood. | ||
| But you know what I'm saying. | ||
| How many horse dicks? | ||
| They never ate a horse dick. | ||
| But they did eat bull dicks and elk dicks and deer dicks. | ||
| But the donkey cum was the worst. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah! | |
| And I even remember at the shoot, you were like, yeah, I think the show's over after this. | ||
| They didn't air it. | ||
| They didn't air it. | ||
| They aired it in other countries, though. | ||
| Oh, did it? | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So you could get it in, I think it's like Dutch. | ||
| So it's like you hear us talk in English, but then they have Dutch subtitles. | ||
| Yeah, that was such... | ||
| So stupid. | ||
| Are you surprised how stupid people are to go? | ||
| No, because I think people are like, look, it's an experience. | ||
| I'm here for the experience. | ||
| I'm going to have some fun. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| But when you get to Donkey Kong, you're kind of being rude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
To those folks. | |
| You know, you got donkey this, donkey that, but then the donkey come. | ||
| Taking advantage of their need for fame in a weird way. | ||
| No, you are. | ||
| But hey, they want to give it. | ||
| That's the game. | ||
| And I remember you showing it to me first, and it was in this large glass container. | ||
| And it wasn't a little they had to drink. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| They had to drink a lot. | ||
| Yeah, it was like the aforementioned rhino horn beer mug. | ||
| Just love. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was a fucking large chug of jizz. | |
| You know what's even more offensive? | ||
| Donkeys are not fertile. | ||
| Look at it, there it is. | ||
| Oh, that's it! | ||
| Yes! | ||
| So that cum is useless. | ||
| It's not just cum, but imagine it's cum that can never even be babies. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's bullshit. | ||
| But I remember when y'all used to do stunts. | ||
| This is disgusting. | ||
| I remember y'all used to do stunts. | ||
| It was actually a delicate... | ||
| Like, people in other countries actually ate it. | ||
| Sometimes. | ||
| Oh, sometimes. | ||
| Yeah, like balut. | ||
| So that's not... | ||
| That's just being mean. | ||
| No, that's just being mean. | ||
| Okay, that's no other country is doing that just for fun. | ||
| Yeah, they gave up on that whole... | ||
| In other countries, this is considered a delicacy. | ||
| Yeah, they gave up on that a long time ago. | ||
| Yeah, you had to push the envelope on that now. | ||
| One of the things that made things gross, smell-wise, was actually really expensive cheese. | ||
| They would go to this expensive, what is it, a formagerie? | ||
| What do they call them? | ||
| What do they call one of those cheese places? | ||
| Yeah, that's like Italian for cheese. | ||
| Formage? | ||
| Formagerie? | ||
| Formagerie? | ||
| Isn't it French, too? | ||
| Something like that? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Jamie's my... | ||
| That's my translation. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They both come from that. | |
| I'm dumb. | ||
| I'm dumb, so there you go. | ||
| But anyway, this cheese that we would use was disgusting. | ||
| It smelled so bad, but apparently it tastes really good if you're into that kind of cheese. | ||
| Like, Bourdain was really into stinky cheese. | ||
| Like, he would talk to me about it, like, with passion. | ||
| Like, just the fucking stinkier the better. | ||
| Like, disgusting smelling cheese, and the taste is fantastic. | ||
| I'd be like, wow! | ||
| I would think that the smell would fuck up your taste buds. | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's like one of those things where I guess you catch the right vibe. | ||
| You go in it with the right attitude. | ||
| There is no attitude. | ||
| If it stinks, fuck that, dude. | ||
| I can't eat this expensive cheese and they would squeegee it off into a blender. | ||
| Nah. | ||
| And then they'd blend it up with the other stuff, like worms and shit. | ||
| It would make the worms taste horrific or smell horrific. | ||
| Oh, so you were just messing with their smell scents. | ||
| So it could make it seem like it was worse than it really was. | ||
| It was making it worse because it smelled worse. | ||
| So it was making it more like... | ||
| You could smell it, but... | ||
| People would just start retching. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a ridiculous fucking thing. | ||
| It's a ridiculous thing. | ||
| That show is really silly. | ||
| No, but I love that these people wanted to be famous. | ||
| Well, you did it too, bro. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| But I was different. | ||
| Me too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Me too. | |
| I was different too. | ||
| No, because how it happened, I was in Austin, Texas, and there was an ad in the paper that goes, hey, have you ever done anything adventurous? | ||
| And I was like, no, let me go in for this cast. | ||
| I was a radio DJ out there at this radio station. | ||
| So I go in, and then Mikey, they called him the chimp, he was the casting person. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And literally two weeks later, three weeks later, I'm in Hollywood shooting this thing, and then I meet you. | ||
| And then I remember going up to you, because I was in awe. | ||
| It was the first time in Hollywood. | ||
| And I knew you from news radio. | ||
| I was like, how do you do it? | ||
| And you go, just fucking be yourself. | ||
| You can be successful. | ||
| And that's what you're doing right now, just fucking being yourself, man. | ||
| That's what you're doing too. | ||
| We're trying. | ||
| We're trying, man. | ||
| You listened. | ||
| I did listen. | ||
| What a ridiculous piece of advice. | ||
| Just be yourself. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good luck. | |
| Whatever you do, don't improve. | ||
| Be who you are right now forever. | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| Just be yourself. | ||
| That's all you need, bro. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Don't let anybody tell you're wrong. | ||
| Just believe in your dreams. | ||
| And make a vision board. | ||
| Joe was just trying to get me out of his face. | ||
| I'll just be you. | ||
| All right, bye. | ||
| That is the right advice, especially if you want to be an entertainer. | ||
| If you can figure out how to be yourself, as long as yourself is actually something interesting. | ||
| And if it's not, work on yourself. | ||
| Yeah, and then you even said that about acting. | ||
| I remember specifically saying, oh, acting's not hard. | ||
| It's just you yourself and you play that emotion. | ||
| And I was like, oh, that sounds easy. | ||
| It's easy in comparison to stand up in some ways, but it's not like I disrespect the kind of shit that Daniel Day- Oh, Day-Lewis and Leonardo DiCaprio. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, when they get into a fucking role and you're like, God damn, that guy just owned that shit. | ||
| What I'm talking about is like sitcom acting. | ||
| Sitcom acting, yeah. | ||
| Sitcom acting is so easy. | ||
| Oh, 100%. | ||
| It was a slightly dumbed-down version of me, who was into slightly more conspiracy theories than me when I was on news radio. | ||
| That's all it was. | ||
| It was basically me. | ||
| They wrote a lot of that conspiracy shit in after I talked to them about JFK and fucking UFOs and stuff. | ||
| You believe in UFOs? | ||
| Oh, yeah! | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| See, I believe in there's other life forms out there, but I don't think they're coming here... | ||
| They might. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| They might. | ||
| Well, why not think it? | ||
| Here's one thing I do believe. | ||
| Most people are full of shit when it comes to most of their stories. | ||
| It's hard to find a person that could just tell you what happened based on what they really remember. | ||
| People want to jazz things up and they want to add salt and pepper. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Had sex with me, did this, did that. | ||
| They don't necessarily tell you the truth. | ||
| They tell you what they think is going to be an engaging story that kind of represents the truth, maybe. | ||
| Especially when it's a weird thing like you saw something in the sky. | ||
| What did you really see? | ||
| How long did you look at it for? | ||
| How many seconds was it? | ||
| Well, I mean, here's the problem I have with UFOs. | ||
| I believe there are UFOs, but I don't think they're coming here. | ||
| Why would you say that? | ||
| First of all, if they're coming here, that means their technology is far, way more advanced than ours. | ||
| So why would they care if people saw them? | ||
| They would show up, if I was an alien and I was that far ahead of us, I would lay in that bitch right in the middle of Times Square and be like, what? | ||
| We are here. | ||
| But why would you do that? | ||
| But why wouldn't I? Why am I hiding in fields where nobody can see us? | ||
| Are you aware of how we treat uncontacted tribes? | ||
| Yes, to a point. | ||
| But what I'm saying is, if you're that far advanced, they know. | ||
| If they're coming here, they know. | ||
| They're way smarter than us. | ||
| Because they've traveled here, and we don't even know from far distances we can't even imagine. | ||
| And they're here, they don't have to hide. | ||
| But do you think they do it because they have to hide? | ||
| Or do you think maybe they do it because we can't handle it? | ||
| Because we can't handle it. | ||
| Why would they care if we could handle it or not? | ||
| Because here's the problem. | ||
| Whenever any civilization has ever encountered a civilization far superior to them, The results have always been catastrophic, every single time. | ||
| Every time Europeans have invaded North America, every time the Spanish visited the Mexicans, every time this has happened, it's been a disaster, and this is human beings. | ||
| If there was something that came down here from another planet and was so unbelievably sophisticated that it could travel through vast distances in space and had insurmountable, impossible technology, We would look to it for all of our answers. | ||
| It would become our new daddy. | ||
| It would completely disrupt all of our governments. | ||
| It would disrupt all of our religions. | ||
| It would disrupt every single belief system we have. | ||
| And people would fall apart. | ||
| They wouldn't know what to do. | ||
| Psychologically, it would be devastating. | ||
| Look, I'm not a doctor, I'm not a psychologist, but I know most people would not be able to handle it. | ||
| I understand that, but why would they care? | ||
| That's my whole point. | ||
| Why would they care about us? | ||
| Because it would be affecting our culture. | ||
| But they wouldn't care. | ||
| But why wouldn't they care? | ||
| But why would they care? | ||
| We care about animals. | ||
| about animals bro there's a reason why we have wildlife protection agencies we have that because we care about animals and animals don't even know we're a thing okay if you're a deer living in the forest and you're two years old you might not have ever even seen a person you don't even know what the fuck we are but we're trying to keep those deer alive we spend billions of dollars every year protecting them we do that because we care about wildlife if we cared about a rare monkey that we found in indonesia in the forest some strange monkey | ||
| we would do whatever we could to make sure that monkeys' populations thrived. | ||
| If there was a way to help them, I mean, that's one of the reasons why zoos exist. | ||
| They take rare animals, they try to breed them in captivity. | ||
| But we're also sharing the same Earth. | ||
| Well, maybe they look at the universe that way. | ||
| And maybe they look at nuclear civilizations, like our civilization. | ||
| I mean, our civilization's a very dangerous one because we're a bunch of semi-hairless monkeys with nuclear weapons. | ||
| I mean, we're fucking nuts, bro. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And we're obsessed with sex. | ||
| We jack off to our phones. | ||
| We're taking pills to keep our dick hard. | ||
| We're all on speed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We all have ADD. And we lie. | ||
| We lie about shit. | ||
| We lie about things that people did to us. | ||
| We pretend people did worse things. | ||
| We pretend that we didn't do things to people. | ||
| We lie about stealing. | ||
| We lie about money. | ||
| We lie about all kinds of things. | ||
| I mean, people are crazy. | ||
| So you're thinking aliens are thinking about all that before they come down. | ||
| Of course they would. | ||
| Why wouldn't they? | ||
| I guess I'm coming from a human point of view where we don't give a shit about anything. | ||
| But here's the thing, that's not true. | ||
| We do give a shit about things. | ||
| That's why when you go to the Galapagos Islands, you're not allowed to take your shoes that you walked around Los Angeles and walk around the Galapagos Islands. | ||
| Because people have done that, and they've gotten seeds from their shoes stuck in the sand over there, or the ground over there, and then new plants grow that are an invasive species. | ||
| We're worried about ecosystems. | ||
| We really are. | ||
| We're worried about invasive species, when new species get introduced to new ecosystems. | ||
| We were just talking about this yesterday, Everglades. | ||
| Like, people are doing whatever the fuck they can to get the pythons out of the Everglades. | ||
| These assholes have released pythons. | ||
| And there's a real fucking redneck Jurassic Park going on in the middle of Florida. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, we care. | ||
| Yeah, I lived in Miami, man. | ||
| And at the time, I lived in Miami. | ||
| Talk about, like... | ||
| You did radio out there, right? | ||
| Yeah, Y100 in Miami. | ||
| That was after Fear Factor. | ||
| After Fear Factor. | ||
| It landed me that big gig after... | ||
| After I was on Fear Factor. | ||
| Well, radio was radio back then. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It was real. | ||
| It was huge, man. | ||
| But I remember they had these lakes. | ||
| And if you go back 10 years ago and look up Florida, people were just jogging around lakes getting snatched by alligators. | ||
| Alligators did not give a damn. | ||
| They were just snatching people. | ||
| And I was like, why are people jogging? | ||
| Why? | ||
| Literally, I stopped jogging. | ||
| Well, definitely don't jog near the water. | ||
| No! | ||
| And that's the thing. | ||
| I believe like eight people within six months got snatched just jogging. | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| Oh, 100%. | ||
| Probably about eight to ten years ago. | ||
| Just jogging. | ||
| I didn't know that there was that many deaths ever from allegations. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They were getting snatched. | ||
| One of my favorite ones was a guy who was running from the cops near Miami. | ||
| And he was in a stolen car, parked his car on a bridge, jumped off the bridge, and landed on an alligator. | ||
| Alligator jacked him in front of the cops. | ||
| And they were just sitting there going, well, there you go. | ||
| Guilty. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| The dude jumps off the bridge, splash! | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Dude! | ||
| Oh, that guy didn't even notice until the last minute. | ||
| No, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| Like, that happens in Florida at that time. | ||
| That is so crazy. | ||
| That is such a big thing that eats deer and shit. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| Opens its mouth on them. | ||
| But meanwhile, it tries to get away from people. | ||
| Well, what's interesting, the dude didn't even speed up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, I would have took off. | ||
| Probably really tired. | ||
| Been running for a while. | ||
| Dude, fuck these things, man. | ||
| Fuck these things. | ||
| But the craziest thing is, we were showing it yesterday, that pythons eat them. | ||
| Alligators? | ||
| Whole! | ||
| But not that size, though. | ||
| Dude, one python ate this fucking big-ass alligator, and it blew its body apart. | ||
| Apparently another alligator came along while it had it in its body and tried to eat the python. | ||
| And so then it was like this disaster of a python with an alligator inside of it with no head. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| But the whole thing was that this python had ate the alligator, and then once they eat it, they can't move, because they got a fucking 900-pound alligator inside of them. | ||
| But you love that shit. | ||
| I get a kick out of it. | ||
| I know you do. | ||
| You do. | ||
| I got a problem with... | ||
| I just... | ||
| You love animals eating other animals. | ||
| I think it's important to recognize that we're... | ||
| We're very insulated from what the fuck is going on by cities. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And that in houses and cities and even towns, even if you have a town, it's rare that a fucking wild predator makes its way into your town. | ||
| But man, that's the whole rest of the world. | ||
| That's the whole world, including the ocean. | ||
| Everywhere is all just predators and prey, predators and prey, predators and prey. | ||
| We've figured out a way to insulate, but in insulation, the problem is when we're isolated from it, we neglect it as an aspect of nature. | ||
| We put it in some weird box, like, oh my god, this is weird. | ||
| No, that's not weird. | ||
| That's normal. | ||
| That's normal life. | ||
| Normal life is big things, eating littler things. | ||
| And you don't respect it. | ||
| Got it. | ||
| You really don't respect it when you don't see it. | ||
| Like, my parents want to go to Africa on a safari. | ||
| I'm like, man, you can have that. | ||
| Yeah, I would go if I got one of them, like, Jurassic Park mobiles that they have that's all the circle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Where you roll around the circle and you can't get in it. | ||
| You see these people are just in regular Jeeps? | ||
| Open air Jeeps. | ||
| Open air Jeeps where a lion's just walking by. | ||
| I was like, how dumb are you? | ||
| And most of the time nothing happens. | ||
| No, most of the time. | ||
| But it could be one or two times where if you're in it. | ||
| Two years ago, a woman who worked on Game of Thrones. | ||
| She was there on vacation and she got pulled out of her fucking car. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| She rolled down the window to take a picture and the cat came and snatched her out of the car. | ||
| But don't you think people kind of like that deserve it? | ||
| Like, people that roll down windows and not safer. | ||
| Like, that's like people jumping in the pit at the zoo the other day. | ||
| Well, that's different. | ||
| The roll down the windows thing, I think, is really just... | ||
| It's what we're talking about. | ||
| That you're not around it enough. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So you don't understand what it is. | ||
| But do you have to be around it to know, hey, these are wild animals and... | ||
| They don't think they can get away with shit. | ||
| They've never had anything happen to them. | ||
| Like, if they've never been punched... | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| This is a cheetah. | ||
| Cheetahs are actually very curious, and they're not dangerous to people. | ||
| So this dude has no idea this thing is in his backseat. | ||
| No, he's filming it. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| He's filming it. | ||
| That's why he's not moving. | ||
| Is the rule don't move? | ||
| I think so, man. | ||
| I think the move is don't move. | ||
| You don't want to scare him. | ||
| You definitely don't want to go, hey, motherfucker! | ||
| You don't want to do that and have them fucking rip your face off. | ||
| They don't have claws. | ||
| They don't have claws like a cat does. | ||
| They're more like a dog. | ||
| They're a weird animal. | ||
| They're like a weird cat-dog thing. | ||
| They're super, super fast. | ||
| I've never seen one run in real life, but apparently people who I know that have seen it say, you can't believe how fast it is. | ||
| You know one thing that blew me away, I was reading about it, that hippopotamuses kill more people a year than all the animals combined. | ||
| All of them. | ||
| All of them. | ||
| Yeah, all of them. | ||
| And it's just like, people just don't respect hippopotamuses. | ||
| And they're fast, and they're strong, and they'll rip you apart. | ||
| They're like a giant pig. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They're in the pig family. | ||
| Like a cousin to a pig or some shit. | ||
| Yeah, and they're vegetarians. | ||
| They're just killing people. | ||
| Estimated 500 people per year in Africa. | ||
| They kill 500 people a year. | ||
| They're aggressive and they have very sharp teeth. | ||
| And not only that, man. | ||
| 2,750 kilograms. | ||
| What? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| What's that in pounds? | ||
| That's more than 5,000 pounds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, 2.2 times that. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Well, people don't respect it because they think they're slow, too. | ||
| So when they see them, I think they run like 24 or 25 miles per hour where a person that runs a 100-yard dash in the Olympics, I think average around like 29 to 30 miles per hour. | ||
| So you're barely getting away. | ||
| Oh, 19 miles. | ||
| Okay, so that's still fast. | ||
| Yeah, you're barely getting away. | ||
| Well, that's me. | ||
| I probably can't run 19 miles an hour. | ||
| I know, I couldn't. | ||
| I'll probably get eaten. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| You're like 20 yards away from this thing, and you're like, ah, it's not gonna... | ||
| And then it just runs up on you. | ||
| Well, they say if you ever get chased by an alligator, too, the thing is to juke them. | ||
| Go left and go right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God! | |
| Yeah, that picture's terrifying, man. | ||
| Oh, my God! | ||
| That one scares the shit out of me. | ||
| That scares the shit out of me. | ||
| I mean, look at that guy. | ||
| He's airborne. | ||
| He's launching himself in the air, trying to get away from that thing. | ||
| Look at that! | ||
| Yeah, they chase after boats in the water. | ||
| They swim fast. | ||
| Yeah, they try to fuck you up, man. | ||
| They try to fuck you up. | ||
| 500 people a year, dude. | ||
| Hippos. | ||
| Husband sees hippo bite out wife's heart. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What?! | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Imagine your wife falls into the water and you see the hippo rip open her ribcage. | ||
| I would be a hippo punisher. | ||
| I would go back to Africa every year. | ||
| And kill every one of them. | ||
| I'd kill every one of them. | ||
| I'd be responsible for hippo extinction. | ||
| They'd be like, you can't do that. | ||
| I'd be like, but I'm gonna. | ||
| Come stop me. | ||
| I'm killing all the hippos. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| I'm killing all the snakes. | ||
| If anyone I knew got killed the first day that something gets killed by a fucking python in Florida, when a human gets jacked, we should send in the marines. | ||
| Just go through the fucking swamp and kill them all. | ||
| They're the enemy. | ||
| You just get a giant line of human beings, go through and kill those fucking serpents. | ||
| They're in the Bible, okay? | ||
| They're in the Bible. | ||
| Snakes will eat your baby. | ||
| They will. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You go through, you kill them all. | |
| Don't get cocky with monsters living in your fucking neighborhood. | ||
| Is there any purpose of them, though? | ||
| Yeah, they kill rats. | ||
| But the problem is, in that area, it's not established for them. | ||
| So there was this rich ecosystem of mammals and reptiles. | ||
| So you're talking about Everglades right now? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It used to be there were some snakes, like cottonmouths and stuff like that, and there was alligators, but then there was like marsh hares and raccoons and skunks. | ||
| Gone! | ||
| They're all gone! | ||
| They're gone. | ||
| There's nothing left. | ||
| There's just anacondas and pythons and Nile crocodiles. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| There's another one eating a fucking alligator. | ||
| Well, let me ask you something. | ||
| And be honest with me. | ||
| If that guy got eaten, like a guy that actually tracks these reptiles, do you feel sorry for him? | ||
| Like, if you're putting yourself in harm's way. | ||
| Yeah, because I want that guy to be out there. | ||
| I want that guy to kill those goddamn monsters. | ||
| If you ever look into an eye of a snake and you go, oh, this thing doesn't give a fuck about anybody. | ||
| It doesn't. | ||
| I was watching this video of a crab, and it's a mother crab just sitting there eating its babies. | ||
| It had, like, thousands of babies all around it that had just hatched, like, a couple weeks ago, and it's just sitting there eating its babies. | ||
| And I'm like, yeah, yeah, fuck you. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| You're going in the boiling water, and I'm going to crack you open. | ||
| Have you ever heard them scream when they go in the boiling water? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Scrap scream? | |
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I don't think they're really screaming. | ||
| I think it's probably air escaping their body. | ||
| Look at this cunt eating their kids. | ||
| Look at her. | ||
| She's eating her kids. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| I was at a friend's house and they caught crabs and they would throw them in. | ||
| And I think they scream, man. | ||
| I think it's like... | ||
| They have vocal cords. | ||
| What is the name of this video, Jamie, for people that are just listening? | ||
| It says, Monster Red Crab Eats Babies, The Dark Side of Nature. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She's an asshole. | ||
| I'm telling you, Joe. | ||
| Do you think they really make noise? | ||
| They make a noise when you put them in a hot, boiling pot of water. | ||
| What is the bottom of her? | ||
| She's got a charcoal briquette stuck under her. | ||
| Doesn't that look like one of them easy light? | ||
| That's where that came from. | ||
| They came from that sack. | ||
| She eats them and they come right back out. | ||
| That is so gross. | ||
| She's such an asshole. | ||
| She's just sitting there eating her kids. | ||
| You're like, that anybody would give a fuck about crabs. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, it's not like I want them to go extinct, but that's one animal that we, in our house, kill ourselves and no one has a problem with it. | ||
| Like, if they brought them a rabbit and you had to throw it in the water like fatal attraction, if that was the only way to keep... | ||
| Nobody would eat rabbits. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| And we throw them in like... | ||
| Alive. | ||
| Alive. | ||
| I'm telling you, they're in the water like, ah! | ||
| Yeah, most of the time, most people don't even bother taking off the rubber band. | ||
| And lobsters. | ||
| And lobsters. | ||
| We do not give a shit about lobsters. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck you. | |
| Get in there. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| Get in there. | ||
| Get in there, you fucking bug. | ||
| You sea bug. | ||
| What's crazy is this whole Animal Kingdom thing, but one thing that scares me that you were doing when I walked in is playing these fucking shooter games. | ||
| Dude, that game is a real problem. | ||
| Jamie and I have been going to war for the last, what, two months? | ||
| When did this start? | ||
| Like two months ago? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, maybe like that. | |
| I'm in full-blown addiction mode now. | ||
| But what is the thrill? | ||
| What's the thrill? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Do you see us? | ||
| We're all sweaty and adrenaline. | ||
| We're having a great-ass time. | ||
| I walked in. | ||
| It looks like I just finished working out. | ||
| It was like crazy. | ||
| Jamie and I were going to war. | ||
| We go to war. | ||
| We talk a lot of shit, too. | ||
| We go to war. | ||
| I tried. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| When he kills me, he talks shit to me. | ||
| It's rough. | ||
| You're like, God damn it, he got me. | ||
| Fuckers. | ||
| Is that a game where people can go online and play with you, too? | ||
| No, we don't play with other people. | ||
| No, we jump online. | ||
| This is the game, though. | ||
| This is it? | ||
| This is the game. | ||
| Yeah, dude, it is a fun-ass fucking game. | ||
| It's called Quake Champions. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And people right now listening are going, God damn it, he's talking about that again. | ||
| But me and Jamie have been, and Jeff, our other employee, have been playing this See, this isn't bad because they're like characters. | ||
| I was playing one where it's like human beings. | ||
| When you shoot somebody, I got scared. | ||
| When you get scared to go into the next room because you're really that nervous, it freaks me out. | ||
| These shooter games are too realistic. | ||
| I grew up with Frogger, dude. | ||
| This is like, you're always in some sort of a castle, and the people that you're shooting against, they don't look anything like a person. | ||
| They look like some weird cartoon character, but the graphics are sensational. | ||
| But more importantly, the gameplay is very precise, and you have to have real hand-eye coordination and skills. | ||
| You learn things like tactics. | ||
| You learn how to move around maps. | ||
| You learn how to control resources. | ||
| Controlling resources is giant. | ||
| Like that thing that guy just picked up, that's like 175 health. | ||
| And you want to get all the armor that you possibly can. | ||
| Then you also want to be clever about weapons choices because you're always engaging at different distances, different kinds of fights. | ||
| Sometimes you're stuck in a corridor and sometimes you're in an area where they can't shoot you but you can shoot them if you use the right weapon. | ||
| Man, you need to bring it back to old school. | ||
| Atari, that one red button, that one red button did everything on the joystick. | ||
| No, you never killed a guy with a railgun. | ||
| Once you kill a guy with a railgun, you'll understand. | ||
| I don't want to kill a guy with a real gun. | ||
| But it's not a real person. | ||
| I mean, he's laughing while you do it. | ||
| When I shoot Jamie, if he jumps at me and I shoot him in midair with a railgun, you both laugh. | ||
| He shot me in the face the other day with a rocket. | ||
| And I was like, oh dude, in the mug. | ||
| I was like, in the mug. | ||
| Like right in my face and I exploded. | ||
| Like my whole screen just becomes a big red splatter. | ||
| I'm like, fuck. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| I can't handle it, man. | ||
| It's too much for me. | ||
| The older I get, I'm just a puss, man. | ||
| I need a man up. | ||
| I used to be so aggressive. | ||
| Well, you're a big dude. | ||
| You're strong. | ||
| That's why nobody messes with me. | ||
| Oh, so they leave you alone, so you become a pussy because of it. | ||
| You know what it's like? | ||
| You fight and all that stuff. | ||
| If somebody punched me in the face today, I don't know how I would react. | ||
| I used to be a bouncer at clubs. | ||
| I played college football. | ||
| I was a tough dude. | ||
| You're falling apart. | ||
| Gotta get you to a gym. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I'm in shape. | ||
| But I mean like a fight gym. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Why? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Learn how to fight a little bit. | ||
| No! | ||
| Not to fight people. | ||
| Why do you? | ||
| So you don't worry about it. | ||
| I never worry about it. | ||
| Okay, well then don't worry about it. | ||
| Because I'm at home at 8.30. | ||
| Why do you do stand-up? | ||
| I know. | ||
| I saw you at the improv the other night. | ||
| Nobody's going to jump on stage. | ||
| I'm talking about family. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You never know, man. | |
| You never know. | ||
| People are crazy. | ||
| That dude jumped up on the WWF and attacked... | ||
| Who did he attack? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bret Hart. | |
| He attacked Bret Hart. | ||
|
unidentified
|
During his speech. | |
| That's crazy. | ||
| Bret Hart has got to be like, how old does he know? | ||
| He's 61 and he's a stroke survivor. | ||
| So fucked up. | ||
| And the guy tackled him. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| But Joe, seriously, you think anybody's going to jump on stage when you're on? | ||
| Some dude could easily. | ||
| Dude, you would fucking kill him. | ||
| No, there's a lot of people that can kill me. | ||
| Don't get confused. | ||
| I know a lot of them. | ||
| Dude, I have them in here all the time. | ||
| Yeah, I get that, but I just don't see me doing stand-up talking about family and love, and a dude goes, I hate family and love. | ||
| I'm going to jump up there. | ||
| No, it's not rational. | ||
| No, you're right. | ||
| I mean, a rational person wouldn't do that, but you're not worried about rational people anyway. | ||
| Okay, so say I started to go to a fight gym. | ||
| Like, where would I start at? | ||
| Like, what would I do? | ||
| I would say you should try jujitsu, because it's fun, it's a really good exercise, and you'll learn some stuff. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You'll learn how to do it. | ||
| It's a technique-based art. | ||
| Whereas, like, say if... | ||
| There's guys that I will do jujitsu sparring, we call rolling. | ||
| There's guys that I will roll with that are weaker than me, smaller than me, and tap me every time I roll with them. | ||
| And I'm a black belt. | ||
| That's reality. | ||
| There's guys out there that are 150 pounds that I can roll with that I know will tap me virtually every time we roll. | ||
| Because their technique is sharper, they train more often than I am, they're more focused, they're more in the groove. | ||
| But I also heard you say, like on one of your podcasts, you've got to watch out who you train with because they might just try to hurt you. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| You've got to go to a good school with good ethics. | ||
| Because a good school with good ethics, they get rid of those guys. | ||
| Do you know one in Studio City? | ||
| I'll do it. | ||
| Sure, I'll get you a spot. | ||
| I'll find you a spot. | ||
| I'll do it. | ||
| I want to learn. | ||
| There's a good spot. | ||
| Just a little further than that, in Tarzana, Machado's, where I got my black belt. | ||
| It's John Jacques Machado. | ||
| I train there sometimes. | ||
| And he used to have a place in Malibu, but it closed down because of the fires. | ||
| But they have an outstanding gym. | ||
| It's like one of the best in the country, and it's in that area. | ||
| As far as teaching... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Top-notch. | ||
| But there's a lot of really good jujitsu schools now. | ||
| It's not like... | ||
| When I started in 96, it was hard to find a good gym. | ||
| There was only five of them in all of California, right? | ||
| Because it was just starting out. | ||
| It was like 93 is when jujitsu sort of emerged in the public consciousness because of the UFC. And then the gym started popping up. | ||
| Popping up. | ||
| I was really lucky. | ||
| There was Hicks and Gracie's, which is where I took my first class, and then Carlson Gracie's. | ||
| I thought they were the same, and the other one was closer, so I just switched to Carlson's. | ||
| I didn't know shit. | ||
| It was a white belt. | ||
| And then there was Machado's, and then a couple other places. | ||
| How long does it take you to get to a black belt? | ||
| Like for you? | ||
| It took me a long time. | ||
| I was a brown belt for eight years. | ||
| But it was just because I wasn't training as much as I should have. | ||
| They don't give them away. | ||
| You have to be a real black belt. | ||
| But who decides? | ||
| Somebody just watches you? | ||
| Instructors. | ||
| People know. | ||
| Everyone knows. | ||
| You know when a guy is fucking killing... | ||
| Let's take Theo Vaughn, for example. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| He hit a groove some time ago, whether it's two years ago or whatever it was. | ||
| And I remember being in the back of the store and I was like, dude, this motherfucker's on fire. | ||
| He started hitting that groove where you go and sit down and you want to watch his set. | ||
| And I think when that happens in jujitsu, it's the same kind of thing. | ||
| Guys start talking about like, dude, Mike has been tapping everybody. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Dude, his jiu-jitsu is so sharp. | ||
| And you're like, man, I'm going to watch him roll. | ||
| And then you watch him roll, and you're like, dude, that pass, that guard pass. | ||
| And guys start asking, like, how often are you training? | ||
| I'm going five days a week now. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, and I'm taking two privates. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| And then you know, like, this guy is on the quest. | ||
| And you'll see a guy go from white belt to black belt in three years, but they have to be super exceptional. | ||
| Like really unusual athletes, unusual mindset, unusual discipline. | ||
| It can happen. | ||
| Most of the time, like a garden variety estimate is like 10 years is realistic. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| From white belt to black belt for a regular person. | ||
| If you really train hard and you really dedicate yourself. | ||
| But freaks can get there quicker. | ||
| Like BJ Penn, he won the Mundials, which is the World Championships, after three years of training. | ||
| Three years of training, he was a black belt, won the World Championships. | ||
| I won't be doing that. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| BJ's a special guy, though. | ||
| He's also got legs that are like arms. | ||
| He has leg dexterity like no one on the planet. | ||
| Yeah, I got chicken legs. | ||
| That's actually good. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You could cinch up triangles on people with chicken legs. | ||
| Yeah, for real. | ||
| I'll be cinching up people everywhere there. | ||
| If you just think about it in terms of leverage, guys with longer limbs like Hodger Gracie is a perfect example. | ||
| He's a really tall, long guy. | ||
| He's one of the best jiu-jitsu players ever. | ||
| They can do things with those limbs that a shorter person can't do in terms of leverage from joints and stuff like that. | ||
| There's advantages to every frame. | ||
| There's a guy like Husamar Palhara is a famous... | ||
| Like tank of a guy Yeah He's like 5'7 200 plus pounds And just rips guys Legs apart And he uses this Like short style To dive in on people's legs And get them in heel hooks And knee bars And rip their legs apart He's terrifying Yeah And that That style heavily favors Being built like a Little tank | ||
| Whereas that long, like you are, you're a tall, long guy, you would have good darse chokes, good rear nakeds, good arm bars, good triangles. | ||
| You would have length and leverage with that length. | ||
| Especially with triangles. | ||
| Because long-legged guys, sometimes a guy like me with short legs, I'll get my legs crossed and I have to adjust a lot to be able to cinch up by triangle. | ||
| Whereas you might be able to just close it up right there. | ||
| So you'll have more opportunities for triangles because of the length of your limbs. | ||
| Would you have ever been at a point in your career when you were doing jiu-jitsu where you... | ||
| How would you have been in the UFC? Like, at your prime, like... | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| I would have had to have gotten way better. | ||
| Like, when I was fighting, I was just kickboxing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was kickboxing, and first it was Taekwondo, and then I went to kickboxing, and by the time the UFC came around, like, on the ground, I was useless. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I was a straight white belt. | ||
| I would get ripped apart every day. | ||
| I would go to the gym, and if I tapped anybody, like, if it was, like, a week went by, and I tapped one guy, I'd be like, woo, I fucking tapped a guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wasn't tapping anybody. | ||
| There wasn't that many people doing it. | ||
| So I was going with like, there was a couple of white belts maybe, and then there was like blue belts and purple belts and brown belts, and those guys would always tap me. | ||
| And so that's just how it went for a long time. | ||
| Unless you're some kind of freak, like some big-ass football player or some super athlete, you're probably not going to be able to hold these guys off. | ||
| They're going to choke you. | ||
| Now, was it true you were going to fight Wesley Snipes? | ||
| That was way later, though. | ||
| Way later. | ||
| That was a brown belt by then, and I'd been doing a lot of training. | ||
| Would you have beaten him? | ||
| I don't know, because we never did it. | ||
| You never did it, right? | ||
| He's a real martial artist. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| He's a real martial artist, but he doesn't know jiu-jitsu. | ||
| The thing is- But that must have been exciting, though, for you to train. | ||
| It was super exciting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I knew that he was a real, legitimate martial artist. | ||
| Like, he throws kicks and punches, and it looks really good. | ||
| Like, he really does know his shit. | ||
| But I also know he never fought. | ||
| And there's a big difference between throwing kicks, and I haven't fought in a long time, but I probably fought a hundred times. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So I've felt that nerves. | ||
| I know what that's like. | ||
| It'll be crazy as fuck to do it again. | ||
| That's what I was thinking. | ||
| It'll probably scare the shit out of me. | ||
| But I think I know what to do. | ||
| I think I know how to get in there and start fainting and start giving some movement and see how he reacts. | ||
| And then the worst case scenario is I'm like, in a scramble, I'm going to strangle this guy. | ||
| If this comes to a scramble... | ||
| Because the average person really doesn't know how helpless they are until a jujitsu black belt grabs ahold of you. | ||
| And then you just go, oh shit! | ||
| Like, I'm helpless. | ||
| Because in a fight, you really think like you might be able to punch a guy. | ||
| Like, maybe if he's running me, and he's swinging at me, and I'm swinging at him, maybe I hit him first. | ||
| You really think that. | ||
| But there's no swinging. | ||
| If it's a jiu-jitsu fight, if you guys get into some sort of a tussle, and that guy grabs you and trips you, and boom, and he's on the ground with his hand on your jacket and a knee on your chest, you're a dead man. | ||
| You're a dead man. | ||
| Because there's no lucky shots. | ||
| A jujitsu black belt is just going to close the distance like that evil fucking crab and he's just going to squeeze your fucking neck. | ||
| And there's no way you're going to avoid it and there's no way you're going to survive it. | ||
| You're just not going to. | ||
| That's why you don't fight people. | ||
| Well, definitely don't fight people. | ||
| You can't fight random people on the streets. | ||
| When you're young, that was the thing. | ||
| You could go to bars. | ||
| I had some friends that liked to throw down when I was younger, and I wouldn't do it. | ||
| I was watching, but now it's kind of like you've got to watch everybody because you don't know what kind of training they're doing. | ||
| Everybody's so educated on it, and it's so big right now. | ||
| Well, some guy fought off a guy in the subway that was attacking with a knife with some moves that he learned watching the UFC. He never even trained before. | ||
| He just knew what to do. | ||
| He knew what to do because he'd seen guys get the mount and drop ground and pound. | ||
| He knew what to do based on watching it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think it's good, like, when you mention it, I think it's good just to learn so you would feel better about yourself in case danger comes. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| You want to be the person that gets to make the decision. | ||
| Here's the thing, right? | ||
| If you don't know how to fight and there's some drunk asshole who doesn't know how to fight either, but he might come over and punch you in the face and sucker punch you and he could hurt you or knock you out in front of your woman, you want to be the one who gets to decide. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If I'm in a situation and some guy and he's like reasonably close to my size and he's being an asshole and he's drunk and he gets aggressive with me, I can decide what to do with him. | ||
| Like I can, it gets, I don't want to hurt anybody, but I'm not going to let you hurt me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you get to decide. | ||
| Like you don't want, like you've, we've all seen these 7-eleven fucking parking lot fights on YouTube or some asshole and both of them don't know how to fight, but one guy might fuck that guy up. | ||
| He might kick him in the face while he's down. | ||
| You don't want to be that guy. | ||
| You don't want to be in that situation and definitely walk away whenever you can. | ||
| Always. | ||
| We are so opposite, because I've only been in one fight in my life. | ||
| It was in ninth grade, playing basketball, and it was against a dude named Matama. | ||
| His name is Matama Drake. | ||
| And I threw one punch, and I hit him right in the face, and he looks at me and goes, what's up? | ||
| And I was like, no, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no. | |
| I was like, oh, no. | ||
| I'm like, oh, we're good. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| We're good. | ||
| Did he let you get away with it? | ||
| Oh yeah, we started playing basketball. | ||
| Thank God. | ||
| Wow, that's it? | ||
| That was it. | ||
| Literally, I hit him as hard as I could. | ||
| That guy could take a shot. | ||
| Oh, and he was just like, what's up? | ||
| I was like, nothing. | ||
| Nothing is up. | ||
| And he didn't hit you back? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| No, because then I started, you know, oh, okay, it's your ball. | ||
| That's a confident man, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| To not try to get you back. | ||
| I mean, and then I was, there was a club in Houston named Power Tools that I used to- Is that a gay bar? | ||
| No. | ||
| Should be. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Should be, right? | ||
| It sounds like one. | ||
| Sounds like a hardcore gay bar. | ||
| In Houston, the gay bar was called Riches at the time. | ||
| But I worked at Power Tools and I was a bouncer. | ||
| So that's when I was like 250 pounds. | ||
| You were a lot bigger when I met you. | ||
| Oh yeah, because I played college football for Arkansas. | ||
| So I played outside linebacker. | ||
| So did you just stop lifting weights or do you still look a little bit... | ||
| No, I'm all cardio now because, you know, like trainers, any trainer I work with, since I got a big frame, they're like, well, put some sides. | ||
| No, I want to stay lean. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know, but... | ||
| That's good for old age, too, man. | ||
| You don't want back problems. | ||
| Like, I'm 44 years old now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Isn't that crazy, dude? | ||
| Dude, what? | ||
| Time flies. | ||
| I'm 51. See? | ||
| 55-0! | ||
| Dude, and it's so scary when you read stories about people just dropping dead, like around your age. | ||
| Luke Perry. | ||
| That's what I'm saying, man. | ||
| Basically my age. | ||
| Well, they said what is the danger zone is like 45 to 55 with heart failure. | ||
| It's like crazy. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Dude, I beat my body up. | ||
| I'm running that bitch until the fucking wheels fall off. | ||
| I'm always getting stem cell shots and I'm fucking running hills and lifting weights. | ||
| I still lift heavy weights. | ||
| I'm retarded. | ||
| I shouldn't say that word. | ||
| I said it again. | ||
| I'm trying to get rid of that word out of my vocabulary. | ||
| It just comes out sometimes. | ||
| Why are you still lifting weights? | ||
| Heavy like that. | ||
| What does it do for you? | ||
| Well, it does a bunch of things. | ||
| First of all, if you want to train jiu-jitsu, it's very good to be strong. | ||
| It makes a big difference. | ||
| First of all, for defense. | ||
| Especially for defense. | ||
| For offense, for sure, too. | ||
| But really, you want to be able to defend. | ||
| You have to be strong. | ||
| But also, you just like being bigger. | ||
| It helps. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| Yeah, I like being able to pick up things. | ||
| I like the physical ability of being strong. | ||
| I like being in shape, too. | ||
| I like being able to run for long distances. | ||
| I like knowing that I can go rounds on the bag. | ||
| I'll do five hard rounds on the bag. | ||
| So you can run. | ||
| My knees are messed up. | ||
| I can't get on a treadmill and run. | ||
| I've done the stem and the knee, and it's helped out a lot, but I'm still that dude that's on the elliptical. | ||
| I'm super fortunate. | ||
| I'm super fortunate about my knee injuries. | ||
| I've had knee injuries, but my meniscus, I only had one meniscus scope on my left knee, and it wasn't terrible. | ||
| I was back to full 100% function after that. | ||
| And my right knee, I didn't. | ||
| I have a little baby tear that I got some stem cells shot into, but I had both of them reconstructed. | ||
| Their ACLs were replaced. | ||
| But no problems. | ||
| They work great. | ||
| Yeah, see, I just need to... | ||
| I listen to you, and it's like you're always taking something. | ||
| And I'm like, oh, I've got to find out what that is. | ||
| And now I just want to get in better shape. | ||
| I'm in shape, but when you get older, it's just tough. | ||
| It is tough. | ||
| The key is writing it down like you have to do it. | ||
| Do you keep a daily schedule of shit you have to do? | ||
| No, I just wake up and go. | ||
| I do have, I wake up, I work out, like a cardio workout, and then I do infrared sauna, which has changed my life. | ||
| Changed your life, right? | ||
| Every morning I infrared sauna for an hour. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You feel amazing. | |
| It's the best. | ||
| You sweat all that shit out. | ||
| You feel great. | ||
| Your skin glistens. | ||
| I think it's actually changed the game for me. | ||
| I have more energy now. | ||
| Everything's better. | ||
| It's so good for your body. | ||
| They did a study that showed a 40% decrease in mortality amongst all causes. | ||
| Heart attack, stroke, cancer. | ||
| 40% decrease with people that were doing the sauna four times a week. | ||
| Well, I will tell you this, because the whole thing is, everybody wants to feel young. | ||
| And when you were young, the thing you did most was sweat. | ||
| And I feel like when I sweat, it just feels, I don't know, I just feel good sweating because it reminds me when I played sports, it reminds me, even though I'm not doing on the, you know, I sweat a little on the treadmill, but when I do that infrared sign, it makes me feel great and young. | ||
| I think there's a bunch of shit going on, but there's that for sure. | ||
| Like, it's good to feel good, like you're sweating. | ||
| But there's heat shock proteins. | ||
| Your body actually produces anti-inflammatory properties. | ||
| It's really good for you. | ||
| It's really good for joint aches and all kinds of stuff. | ||
| I used to think of the sauna as being nonsense. | ||
| Like, what are you fucking laying in the sauna for? | ||
| Like, what are you doing there? | ||
| Just getting hot? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Let's go work out, pussy. | ||
| But what kind of sauna do you do, though? | ||
| I do a regular sauna. | ||
| Just a super hot regular sauna. | ||
| I'm telling you, you need to try the infrared. | ||
| Yeah, you can. | ||
| But look, it's all just about getting your body hot. | ||
| It's good to try the infrared, I'm sure. | ||
| I'm sure it works great. | ||
| But this study, the 40% decrease in mortality, that was with a regular sauna. | ||
| Okay, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's why I got a regular sauna, because Dr. Rhonda Patrick told me that the studies that have been done have all been done with a regular sauna. | ||
| And she said there might be some benefit for infrared sauna, but I don't know what's published. | ||
| See if there's a benefit. | ||
| See if they can say what's the benefit to infrared sauna. | ||
| I'm probably cooking my organs. | ||
| I don't even know it. | ||
| No, I don't think so, man. | ||
| I think it's great for you. | ||
| I just feel amazing after it. | ||
| That's supposedly what happens, right? | ||
| It gets deeper in your tissue or something. | ||
| Yeah, it's supposed to go deeper. | ||
| I remember us texting back and forth. | ||
| I was like, you got it? | ||
| If you do the infrared sauna for like a week, it's a game changer. | ||
| Regular sauna is too, so I don't know. | ||
| I would like you to try a regular sauna too. | ||
| How hot does the infrared get? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like 140. It's not heating the air, though, too. | |
| It's a difference. | ||
| Yeah, it doesn't heat the air. | ||
| Like, you walk in and it doesn't feel like it's that. | ||
| That's just weird. | ||
| That's some microwave shit. | ||
| I'm not into that, man. | ||
| That's like Hot Pockets. | ||
| You ain't turning me into a Hot Pocket gym gap again. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm probably burning up all my organs right now, but I love it. | |
| I like going in and feeling that super heat. | ||
| You go in there and you're like, oh. | ||
| It feels so good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love it. | |
| So good for you. | ||
| Do you fuck with cold? | ||
| Do you ever do cryo or anything like that? | ||
| I tried that once. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| And it was right after the infrared sound. | ||
| I was like, try the cold. | ||
| It's just, I don't know, man. | ||
| It wasn't my thing. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| It wasn't my thing. | ||
| Like, how so? | ||
| Like, it was fucking freezing. | ||
| Yeah, it was cold, but how is it not your thing? | ||
| But it's just, I don't want to... | ||
| You don't want to do it? | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| I love heat, but the cold thing is like, nah. | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| I'm good on that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I understand. | |
| You know, you love it? | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I do it too. | ||
| I love both of them. | ||
| Do you go back to back? | ||
| That's what they say you should do. | ||
| I have not gone back to back, but I've gone and done both of them in a day. | ||
| I like hot yoga too. | ||
| I like hot yoga and then doing the cryo, which they say you shouldn't do because it'll give you a heart attack. | ||
| Oh, doing it hot to cold? | ||
| Says who, pussy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who's doing that? | ||
| Be a man. | ||
| Who's getting a goddamn heart attack? | ||
| Step up. | ||
| Who's getting a heart attack from going from hot to cold? | ||
| Not us. | ||
| Is that really happening? | ||
| I used to do hot yoga. | ||
| I need to get back into it. | ||
| I just got to get flexible, man. | ||
| It's just, that's the tough thing about getting old. | ||
| Flexibility? | ||
| Flexibility. | ||
| Because what they say, most older people die on the toilet because they can't get up. | ||
| You know, they have some problem and they can't get up from wherever they are. | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| That's a crazy way to go. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just on the toilet. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| You're always going to think like Elvis. | ||
| Like, as you're dying, you'll be like, damn, me and Elvis. | ||
| I just don't want to die stupid. | ||
| You'll be reading in New York City, some guy's just walking and something falls on him. | ||
| Or a person. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Some suicidal person lands on your fucking head. | ||
| I was at Adidas, the flagship in New York, Adidas, and like five minutes before I got there, a person just jumped off and killed themselves right outside the store. | ||
| Like out of residence. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| That's one of the craziest ways to go. | ||
| The feeling of regret you must have when you feel the air under your feet and you're falling. | ||
| And you can't do nothing. | ||
| And that's a wrap, dude. | ||
| You made the decision. | ||
| You pulled the trigger. | ||
| Here it comes. | ||
| The Great Beyond. | ||
| Bang. | ||
| What goes through your mind when you're going down like that? | ||
| And it's your choice. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You're probably filled with unbelievable terror. | ||
| Unbelievable terror. | ||
| Even though it's your choice. | ||
| There have been people that have survived jumps into the ocean. | ||
| They've jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge and made it. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| I mean, it's like one of the number one suicide spots in the U.S. Yeah, but some of them make it. | ||
| They survive. | ||
| That would suck. | ||
| Or, like, if you really wanted to die and you didn't die? | ||
| Maybe not. | ||
| Maybe you get a new lease on life. | ||
| Maybe you hit the water and you're like, what, am I alive? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| I never could get myself to that place. | ||
| Like, I like my life too much. | ||
| Right now. | ||
| Yeah, well, you're happy, and that's an awesome thing. | ||
| But, you know, when we're talking about spectrums, there's clearly a spectrum of that. | ||
| And some people, I think, have it horrifically. | ||
| They just have, for whatever reason, chemical imbalance, life experiences that are awful, PTSD, whatever the formula is, they have it to the point where it's almost unbearable every day. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| A hundred percent. | ||
| Like my dad, you know, he served our country in the army and it didn't seem to affect him at all. | ||
| But, you know, he has friends that it's affected. | ||
| I have friends that have served. | ||
| They're affected by it. | ||
| And what was that movie? | ||
| It was about Benghazi. | ||
| I forgot. | ||
| John Krasinski did it, but I had to interview the real guys that pulled off, got the people out of Benghazi. | ||
| is so boring to them. | ||
| Like literally they got excited when they talked to, you know how it feels to have bullets whizzing by your head, you know, and you shooting at people like literally the real world is so, and that's why they keep going back because that's the only way they can get that adrenaline rush, which is, you know, to me, I'm like, that's crazy. | ||
| But to them, that's where they get their high. | ||
| And that's, that's life to them. | ||
| That's how they're living. | ||
| And I interviewed the three or four soldiers that went out there and saved these people, and you saw that look in their eye. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It was like... | ||
| They would go back now if they could. | ||
| And they hated hearing how one of their own lost their lives out there. | ||
| They were like, I could have done something. | ||
| And that's what they talked about. | ||
| Why we always want to go back is every time we hear one of our fallen soldiers, they fell, we could have saved them. | ||
| And two of them were snipers and the other two were on the ground. | ||
| And they were like, man, it's just real life is very tame for us. | ||
| You know, it's almost a... | ||
| I'm putting... | ||
| Now I'm paraphrasing, but I would say they think it's a bore just living our normal lives. | ||
| And unless they're fighting for our country and saving people's lives, like, everything else is just boring. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, you talk about literally life being turned up to 10. There's nothing else that compares to it on the planet other than being a police officer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In a shootout. | ||
| Or just imagine, like, a police officer walking up to a car. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| that's freaky enough. | ||
| You don't know what's inside. | ||
| That's like you're playing roulette. | ||
| You don't know what's inside that car. | ||
| You know, like, look, there are some bad police out there, but just put yourself in that spot where you're a cop getting out your car, walking to a car with tinted windows, knocking on the window. | ||
| You don't know what you're going to get. | ||
| You don't know if it's a barrel or a shotgun. | ||
| You don't know. | ||
| You have no idea. | ||
| You have no idea. | ||
| And people have to realize that tension they carry with them all day. | ||
| They might have 20 of those interactions. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| All day. | ||
| And a couple could have been really bad for them. | ||
| And if you give them any bullshit or don't appreciate or respect that, they're immediately going to go, oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You fucking asshole. | ||
| And you're the enemy now. | ||
| And it's horrible. | ||
| It's horrible that we give a person the kind of power that police officers have when they abuse it. | ||
| But it's also horrible that we create this relationship between fellow citizens. | ||
| A cop is just a citizen. | ||
| It's just one of us. | ||
| Where we are the enemy if we're not following the book. | ||
| Especially when the book is stupid. | ||
| Like it's pot laws or something dumb like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or you're catching guys getting jerked off. | ||
| Like, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, I've been pulled over a couple times, and I gotta say, you know, most of them, like my dad, you know, they say a black thing to do when you have a black father. | ||
| They tell you very early on, when a cop pulls you over, hands out, let him see it. | ||
| You know, it's taught to us when we're born and raised, especially where I grew up. | ||
| So, you know, I've even been profiled. | ||
| And I'm half black. | ||
| You don't know what I really am, a lot of people. | ||
| But I've been profiled. | ||
| So I know when I hear the stories, and I've been in cars with my friends that are dark-skinned black, and they've been pulled over. | ||
| And it's a thing where you're upset because you feel like you're being profiled. | ||
| But man, once that cop walks over, you need to show all due respect because they control that game now. | ||
| It's 100% their game. | ||
| Once they pull up to your window, you're in their car. | ||
| You also should think that they are entirely necessary for a civilized society. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| And if you want to be able to call the police, if some shit is going down, you should appreciate them when they're there. | ||
| And, you know, this does not discount all the bad cops. | ||
| Oh, yeah, absolutely. | ||
| It does not discount all the things we've all seen. | ||
| The shootings were unjustified. | ||
| Punchings were unjustified. | ||
| This is what we have to keep, though. | ||
| Perspective. | ||
| Because there's so many interactions. | ||
| There's so many cops out there that are dealing with PTSD all day long. | ||
| Because for a decade or two decades of their life, they have been dealing with crime and violence all day long. | ||
| Every day. | ||
| And they dress like the enemy. | ||
| They're not just a cop. | ||
| They're a cop who has to wear a cop outfit. | ||
| So everywhere you go, like when you're playing Quake and you're playing team matches. | ||
| Oh, here goes Quake. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The dude has a special flag over his head. | ||
| You know that's a target. | ||
| If you see cops, like bad guys see cops as the enemy. | ||
| You're being paid to be the enemy, even if you've never had an interaction. | ||
| If you're a bad guy and that's a cop, that's the enemy. | ||
| And that is a crazy position to ask people to be in. | ||
| But even for people that don't have interactions with cops a lot, they still consider it the enemy. | ||
| Because if they pull you over for speeding, it's gone through my mind. | ||
| It's like, nobody's on the road right now. | ||
| Why are you pulling me over for speeding? | ||
| I'm not hurting anybody. | ||
| It's just a waste of time. | ||
| Well, they're trying to write a ticket, because they have to write a certain amount of tickets. | ||
| And that's when I think it goes over the top, where it's like, come on now. | ||
| I was talking to a cop about that. | ||
| I said, okay, now let me ask you this. | ||
| What if everybody agreed to never speed? | ||
| Like, we made a six-month agreement in this country where we would never speed, and no one speeded, and there was no more traffic violations in terms of speeding tickets. | ||
| What the fuck would happen? | ||
| And he was like, people would just get laid off left and right. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, they were like, I think they would just slash the police department. | ||
| They put quotas on you because you're a glorified revenue collector. | ||
| I mean, that's what those guys are doing. | ||
| Well, don't you think that's a problem, though? | ||
| Like, when you're pulling people over, and I think that it all, look, the problem is with the police and people start from the court, and that's a major problem. | ||
| If you have to pull over people, even if you're a cop and go, eh, they're not really doing anything bad, but I have to meet my quota of tickets, that starts from a very negative place. | ||
| Terrible. | ||
| Terrible place. | ||
| Terrible place. | ||
| Terrible place and terrible place for both parties. | ||
| Terrible place for the cop to bury his head in the sand and realize he's writing someone a ticket for no reason. | ||
| You know, like you catch someone, speed limit's 65, they're going 69, you pull them over, like get the fuck out of here, man. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can't even pay attention. | ||
| There's no way, unless I'm not looking at the road. | ||
| Unless I have cruise control or I'm not looking at the road. | ||
| I might get to 69. I might back up to 65 again. | ||
| Even if I'm trying to go the speed limit. | ||
| But I know people that have been pulled over four miles over. | ||
| A hundred percent. | ||
| But as a driver of that car going four miles over, you're pissed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like automatically. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because you got jacked. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| You just got jacked. | ||
| He's not serving or protecting. | ||
| And we all know he's writing a ticket just to write a ticket. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's probably the 27th or 28th of the month. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And they got to meet their quota. | ||
| Like that's where they, driving to Vegas is the worst. | ||
| They set up traps. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| And especially close to the end of the month, you know if you're driving to Vegas, go to speed limit because they're waiting for you. | ||
| I got pulled over by a plane. | ||
| Have you seen this? | ||
| Going to Vegas? | ||
| They have planes that now radar you. | ||
| They don't even... | ||
| And then they send out cop cars. | ||
| So the plane radars you and then a cop car pulls you over there? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that was the last time we went to Vegas. | ||
| I went with my wife and son and we got pulled... | ||
| Like a cop car came out of nowhere. | ||
| And my wife... | ||
| Here's the difference. | ||
| You know, this shows that my wife is white from Wyoming, right? | ||
| And this is the big difference. | ||
| That's real white. | ||
| That's white white. | ||
| That's like Pilgrim. | ||
| That's like Casper the Friendly Ghost White. | ||
| That's like cowboy white, right? | ||
| Wyoming? | ||
| Translucent. | ||
| Cowboys. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The only cowboys up there. | ||
| Wyoming cowboys, yeah. | ||
| Did your wife grow up on a ranch? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I think they have. | ||
| They have cities? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| She grew up in Gillette. | ||
| Gillette, Wyoming. | ||
| What the fuck is that? | ||
| Gillette, Wyoming. | ||
| How many people there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
80? | |
| I think 3,000. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| No, seriously. | ||
| They're like the Brady Bunch. | ||
| I'm married into the Brady Bunch. | ||
| Like, seriously, they're real life. | ||
| It's like, good morning, Michael. | ||
| How are you? | ||
| Like, they are those people. | ||
| That's kind of cool. | ||
| No, it's great. | ||
| So, a cop pulls us over for this Vegas trip. | ||
| And this is the difference in cultures we have. | ||
| And this is why I try to tell my wife. | ||
| When the cop came over, his name, let's say, Officer Andrew. | ||
| He comes over. | ||
| I'm very polite. | ||
| I said, yes, sir. | ||
| You got it. | ||
| No problem. | ||
| I was speeding. | ||
| No problem. | ||
| My wife. | ||
| And the cop goes, we pulled you over by a plane. | ||
| So he gives me a ticket. | ||
| I'm like, hey, officer, have a great day. | ||
| He's like, you too, sir. | ||
| My wife is in the backseat with my son. | ||
| Rolls down the window when he's walking away and goes, excuse me, how do you know it was this black SUV? I see lots of black SUVs passing us. | ||
| And it's from a plane? | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| I'm like, I'm about to die. | ||
| The cop turns back around, like comes to my side of the window and says, excuse me, ma'am. | ||
| But just the privilege to be able to talk to a cop like that, because she has no idea. | ||
| She has no idea. | ||
| That's the real white privilege. | ||
| That's the real white. | ||
| And I'm like, babe. | ||
| And I'm like telling the cop. | ||
| Tell me about it. | ||
| I'm telling the cop. | ||
| I'm saying, hey, baby, it's okay. | ||
| I was speeding. | ||
| Do you talk about this on stage? | ||
| No. | ||
| You fucking should. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Dude, that's hilarious. | ||
| And I'm like, oh my God. | ||
| You should for sure talk about this on stage. | ||
| I will. | ||
| It scared me. | ||
| Because I was scared because the cop comes back around. | ||
| Write that down right now. | ||
| Take that pad. | ||
| Write that down. | ||
| Write it down. | ||
| You must talk about this on stage. | ||
| White wife. | ||
| Cop. | ||
| Wyoming. | ||
| All that shit. | ||
| White wife. | ||
| Cop. | ||
| Privilege. | ||
| Plane. | ||
| Radar. | ||
| Black SUV. Wyoming. | ||
| Cowboy. | ||
| White people. | ||
| Horses. | ||
| Mustang. | ||
| Ranch. | ||
| Shoe horns. | ||
| Horseshoe. | ||
| He comes back over and he's trying to explain to my wife about a plane. | ||
| And she's giving this cop attitude. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| And when we drive off, I go, baby, you cannot do that. | ||
| Like, you almost killed me. | ||
| And she was like, stop being ridiculous. | ||
| I'm like, no. | ||
| No, you really did. | ||
| No, you really could have got me killed. | ||
| You never know. | ||
| You never know. | ||
| Wrong guy, wrong place, wrong time, wrong history, wrong background, wrong state of mind that he's in. | ||
| What if he didn't like a black dude married to a white woman? | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And she didn't get that, but now she gets that because we have a son. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So I think once you have a multi-ethnic son, now she's like, oh, I'm all about Moana. | ||
| I'm all about – she doesn't – like, she's all about the ethnic cartoons and not the white ones. | ||
| She's trying. | ||
| She's got a good mindset. | ||
| Yeah, she's trying and her family's trying. | ||
| It sucks that anybody has to ever worry about getting accidentally shot by a cop. | ||
| And the problem, I think, is not going to go away until the problem of crime goes away. | ||
| And that's not going to happen either. | ||
| So what do we do to make life safer for everybody? | ||
| That's a real good fucking question. | ||
| I think awareness, for sure. | ||
| People being aware of all these videos. | ||
| That's one thing that I think that Black Lives Matter did that people don't want to accept, but it's really important. | ||
| It became a national thought. | ||
| It's not just another story in the news. | ||
| It's a national thought. | ||
| This is a movement to try to eradicate this. | ||
| And all the times where you've seen guys plant guns on people after they've shot them. | ||
| All the crazy You see videos? | ||
| Yeah, you see videos of black people with no guns getting shot. | ||
| And then, here's the problem, they go to court, and then the cops are innocent. | ||
| Did you see the one where the guy throws the gun down on the ground? | ||
| Was it a taser? | ||
| What did he throw down on the ground? | ||
| It was like, he shot him, and then as he's coming up to the body, he dropped something on the ground. | ||
| When I was growing up, at least, I don't know when it changed, but cops were supposed to shoot, not to kill you, but to handicap you. | ||
| Like, shoot you in the legs, shoot you in the arms. | ||
| These guys are not that good a shot. | ||
| There's a lot of cops that are just not good at shooting guns. | ||
| I mean, there's a lot that are military trained, that are very professional and very serious who are. | ||
| But it's like... | ||
| Look, I watched a video the other day of a guy getting into an altercation. | ||
| He's an off-duty cop, got into an altercation with this guy, and he tried to pull his gun out. | ||
| The guy grabbed him, grabbed his wrist. | ||
| The guy did not know how to fight at all and probably only knew how to shoot people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He gets taken down. | ||
| The guy obviously knew jujitsu. | ||
| Took him down. | ||
| Mounted him. | ||
| Took the gun from him. | ||
| Threw the gun away. | ||
| And beat the fuck out of him. | ||
| From the mount. | ||
| Pounding him. | ||
| The guy turns his back. | ||
| He gets his back. | ||
| He's beating the shit out of him. | ||
| It's horrific. | ||
| Because this cop thought he was safe. | ||
| And pulled his gun. | ||
| But this is one example. | ||
| Just because someone's a cop doesn't mean they're a well-trained, prepared cop. | ||
| There are those out there for sure. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| But there are also some slobs. | ||
| I've seen some guys that are a cop. | ||
| I'm like, bro, you can't run a block. | ||
| How the fuck are you a cop? | ||
| This is a ridiculous position for you to put yourself in and anybody else you're trying to protect. | ||
| You're handicapped by gluttony. | ||
| But at the same time, we do need them. | ||
| We need the cops. | ||
| We need them to be more respected and appreciated. | ||
| They're not very respected and appreciated by a lot of people. | ||
| I think that's a huge misservice. | ||
| What I hate about this conversation, whatever side they're on with the cops, they're going to pull whatever they want because we've talked negative. | ||
| Well, not negative. | ||
| We've said some things about, and I hate how we're in such a polar place where, oh, you're either for them or against them. | ||
| And that's like with everything. | ||
| And that's what You can't have a conversation anymore. | ||
| And that's where we're at right now. | ||
| It's like, you can't say anything wrong with cops because then you don't support the cops. | ||
| If you support the cops, then you'll get attacked by the other side going, oh, well, they kill innocent people. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I know both. | ||
| Someone can take a clip of anything you've said today without further elaboration, because most of what you said you further elaborated. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| They could take that one snippet and just put a little clip up somewhere, and Michael Yo said this, or worse yet, quote it. | ||
| This is what he said about cops. | ||
| People are like, fuck him! | ||
| I thought he was pro-cop! | ||
| Well, that's the world we live in today. | ||
| This is the world we live in, and that's why it's so horrible, man. | ||
| Well, it is and it's not. | ||
| It is! | ||
| That part is horrible, but it's the best time to be alive ever. | ||
| The best time to be alive in terms of our ability to understand our effect on each other. | ||
| The best time to be alive in terms of our ability to access information. | ||
| The best time for... | ||
| If something is going on, you alert people that this thing, like a crime is taking place. | ||
| Oh, 100%. | ||
| We could spread the news of it so quick. | ||
| We just have to... | ||
| We were just not used to so much. | ||
| We're not used to so much that we have to deal with all day. | ||
| We're not designed for so much. | ||
| And it happened in 35 years. | ||
| You know, just think about our parents, right? | ||
| When we were growing up, the TV was black and white, and then it went color. | ||
| And that was the big thing for them. | ||
| For us, there were no cell phones or internet. | ||
| And then, in like the last 35 years, I don't think you'll ever see a technology boom, like in this last 35 years. | ||
| So many advancements happen so quick, and that's why we today can't react to them fast enough. | ||
| We don't know, like now parents are doing, like parents that are our age are doing the same things the kids are doing, where my dad never cared about playing Atari or doing anything. | ||
| He had totally different interests. | ||
| Where now the kids that are coming up, since this boom is so fast, we're still learning new technology. | ||
| And now our kids are learning it with us, and there's no separation. | ||
| I agree, and I think it's definitely like untreaded territory, but I disagree that we'll never see a boom in technology like we've already seen. | ||
| I think we haven't even scratched the surface. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, we haven't even scratched the surface. | ||
| But I guess I'm saying things that changed the world. | ||
| Like, there was no internet, Joe. | ||
| Dude, there's a thing that Elon Musk is working on called Neuralink. | ||
| And I don't know exactly how this works. | ||
| Because he wouldn't exactly explain it, but the concept is about increasing the bandwidth between human brain activity and information Somehow or another to get information quicker to you and have you access it in a quicker manner I don't know what the fuck that means. | ||
| It's something you wear on your head. | ||
| Some dude just tried it. | ||
| Jamie There's an article that just I just found it I'm looking at it. | ||
| Yeah, some dude just said, I might or might not have tried Elon Musk's Neuralink. | ||
| He's kind of bound by silence, but there is a real possibility. | ||
| Here's how to look at it. | ||
| Think about Wi-Fi, right? | ||
| Wi-Fi is in this room. | ||
| We use it. | ||
| You can shut your phone off and turn your Wi-Fi on, and you'll be able to access all the information on the Internet. | ||
| But where is that coming from? | ||
| Where is that? | ||
| It's in the air. | ||
| It's in the sky. | ||
| It's all around us. | ||
| If you can wear something that picks up on that in the same way, picks up on Wi-Fi in the same way, picks up on cellular signals, whether it's 4G or 5G, which is coming out soon, which is supposed to be unstoppable and powerful, if that can feed information directly to your brain, through something that you wear. | ||
| Just the way they do these, you know, they have these electrodes they put on your head and they send magnetic pulses to different parts of the brain. | ||
| Helps people with traumatic brain injuries. | ||
| Helps people with depression. | ||
| They've been able to do this by taking these little things and they stick them to your head and they send this pulsating magnet in there. | ||
| They can already affect the brain with external stimulation. | ||
| They already know how to do that. | ||
| If they can figure out how to do that in a much more sophisticated way, we are on the edge of becoming cyborgs. | ||
| And it's not far away. | ||
| We're talking about within the next decade, maybe two decades, there's gonna be something that changes a person and makes... | ||
| If you're a person with a limited education and no phone, Think about how little access to the world's knowledge base you had. | ||
| Now, if you're a person with limited access to information and education, but you have a phone, and that phone is online, you have everything. | ||
| So that changes everything. | ||
| This person now can access all the knowledge. | ||
| I mean, it's not... | ||
| Perfect. | ||
| If you Google things, some of the things are bullshit. | ||
| Some articles are dumb. | ||
| They don't make sense. | ||
| But you have possibility of finding all the information. | ||
| Now, in the future, I think that's going to be escalated. | ||
| And it's going to be escalated exponentially. | ||
| There's going to be some new leaps in technology that happen that guys like you and I that don't work in the field, we're going to see it coming. | ||
| These people are working on these things right now. | ||
| And they're competing with people in China and Russia and all over the world that are also working on these technologies. | ||
| And they're going to get through. | ||
| And they're going to make something, and that something is going to change reality as we know it. | ||
| And it's probably right around the corner. | ||
| The same way cell phones and the internet changed our reality as compared to our parents, this is going to change it ten times. | ||
| But the neuro thing... | ||
| I get that your brain gets it right away. | ||
| I don't know how it works. | ||
| But let's say your brain gets it. | ||
| You put this machine on like this and then it sends it straight to your brain. | ||
| What's the difference of that besides quicker than you being on the computer and looking up? | ||
| You're still getting the same information. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't think so. | |
| I don't think that's the case. | ||
| But you're getting the same information. | ||
| I don't think that's how it works. | ||
| What does this guy say? | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is an April Fool's joke. | |
| It's an April Fool's joke? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh. | ||
| What is the title of the article? | ||
| Elon Musk might have let me try a neural link prototype, but release on April 1st. | ||
| But let's say, and I know you don't know about, but let's say you put it on a device and all the information goes through your brain. | ||
| You're still getting the same information. | ||
| Maybe not. | ||
| Have you ever seen someone use an exoskeleton? | ||
| No. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Exoskeleton is like a suit that you put on that's like, say if you work in a factory, it'll allow you to pick up much heavier things. | ||
| Remember the movie Aliens? | ||
| Sigourney Weaver, she's fucking up that thing. | ||
| She's inside that robot. | ||
| Get away from her, you bitch! | ||
| You're like, whoa, whoa, he's ferocious. | ||
| That's like a giant robotic exoskeleton. | ||
| This is an exoskeleton that they use for people that are paralyzed and it helps them walk. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| They also are developing exoskeletons. | ||
| Oh, that's a chair, huh? | ||
| There's seven of them here. | ||
| That one has extra legs. | ||
| Oh, that's pretty dope. | ||
| There's things that help people, like that gal right there is not a big person, but she can work in a factory, and you can carry things that are much heavier than what you would ordinarily be able to carry. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Now, they think that as technology moves and improves, they're going to get to the point where they develop what's essentially like an Iron Man suit. | ||
| That's like an exoskeleton. | ||
| The Iron Man suit, when he wears that, he's invincible. | ||
| He can fly. | ||
| He can smash things and pick things up and throw things. | ||
| That is entirely possible that this is going to be our future. | ||
| That there's going to be suits that we wear that make us impervious. | ||
| Look at this guy. | ||
| He's got one that lets him fly around. | ||
| And he's got rockets that come out of his hands. | ||
| You think the government would ever approve that for us to get? | ||
| They don't have a chance. | ||
| It's not whether or not they approve it. | ||
| It doesn't have anything to do with them. | ||
| It has to do with the technologists. | ||
| It has to do with the scientists. | ||
| It has to do with the geniuses that are creating these things. | ||
| Because they're going to come in waves and these fucking dummies that don't even understand what Facebook is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| These are the same guys that are going to stop these people from putting out Iron Man suits. | ||
| They're not going to tell them until it's way too late. | ||
| Too late. | ||
| They're already out. | ||
| And the one they tell them, they're going to make them for sale and they're not going to give them the option as to whether or not they regulate them. | ||
| They're just going to make them for people and then you're going to have to figure out the laws once people have them. | ||
| And then once grandma has one and all of a sudden grandma's playing tennis again, you tell me grandma can't play tennis because some bad guys want to use an exoskeleton to rob a bank? | ||
| Because that shit's coming. | ||
| All of it's coming. | ||
| Bulletproof exoskeletons. | ||
| But I still, everything you've said so far still, to me, is not bigger than not having internet. | ||
| Well, the internet opened the door, but we don't know if that technology, like the thing that you can, like, talking to your phone, and you can say, hey Siri, when was the Constitution formulated? | ||
| You know, hey Siri, what was the first draft of the Declaration of Independence written on? | ||
| You can ask those questions, and Siri will answer those questions. | ||
| Google search will answer those questions for you. | ||
| But what if you just know it? | ||
| What if that thought interfaces with your brain in a way where it describes things maybe in symbols or direct feed of information through some unfathomable technology that literally just permeates language. | ||
| It gets through all of that and just gives you information. | ||
| If I speak to you in a different language, it'll automatically translate it. | ||
| Things like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Well, they already could do that. | ||
| You know, they have these Google earbuds. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| These Pixel Buds, I think they're called. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
If that worked, would they just get rid of school? | |
| Or would school only be to tell you how to work that? | ||
| Well, you would need scholars because you would need to know whether or not this stuff is accurate. | ||
| You would need women and men who are educated in this. | ||
| And this is one of the reasons why the scientific method is so important. | ||
| One of the reasons why when people shit on ridiculous things like... | ||
| Like grievance studies and a lot of the things that are overcoming universities these days. | ||
| You're taking away with your preposterous social justice ideology. | ||
| You're taking away from the real pursuit of knowledge and information because you want it to match up with your ideology. | ||
| This is a dangerous time to fuck with information. | ||
| Oh, absolutely. | ||
| Because people are already pooling up in these little echo chambers, whether it's message boards or Twitter groups that you're in, and they feed off of each other and agree on each other with each other all the time. | ||
| You've got to be really careful with information these days. | ||
| And also, they have to keep scholars to keep the real information, because it's just like that one show, I forgot what it's called, Black something, Black Box, Black Mirror. | ||
| They can change reality. | ||
| Literally, if you don't have scholars to oversee this stuff, they can be like, oh, you know what? | ||
| Slavery never happened. | ||
| Or this never happened. | ||
| And it would go away because the people born today would never know. | ||
| There's people that to this day will deny the Armenian genocide. | ||
| There's people to this day that deny that. | ||
| I mean, this is a real thing. | ||
| There are certain human beings that deny that. | ||
| And what's it going to be like 100 years from now? | ||
| I mean, how many of those people will exist then? | ||
| There's a lot of those circumstances in life where you have to be really careful about what information is, what's processed. | ||
| You have to be 100% accurate if you're saying something that is a historical record. | ||
| And you can't fuck with it at all. | ||
| But they are now. | ||
| But everybody has from history. | ||
| That's the reasons why all religions are different, right? | ||
| Because everybody has their own little version of history. | ||
| I mean, it's one of the reasons why many different religions have stories of Jesus, but they vary widely. | ||
| Who's telling the truth? | ||
| Well, I mean, it's a thing where what's scary to me about this world today is that misinformation is out there all the time. | ||
| And people believe it. | ||
| And people just, people don't read anymore. | ||
| They just listen to the bullet point and scream that out. | ||
| Like, literally, and I don't want to get political or anything, but I remember when everybody was saying Obama's going to raise taxes. | ||
| And they were interviewing people that didn't even make $30,000, saying, oh, he's going to raise my taxes. | ||
| It's like, nah. | ||
| He's not even talking about you, but you're yelling out a bullet point. | ||
| If you would have read the article, you would have read you were fine. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| Today, we want to yell out bullet points. | ||
| If Fox News, if you watch that and they say this, you're just yelling out that, but you never read. | ||
| If CNN is your thing, you're just yelling what they're saying, but you don't read. | ||
| Me, I watch both. | ||
| I actually read both articles. | ||
| I could talk politics all day. | ||
| I think there are good things that Republicans do. | ||
| I think there's good things that... | ||
| Democrats do. | ||
| I think Democrats right now are in a state where they fight amongst each other. | ||
| They're going to crush each other before the election even comes. | ||
| It's like Obama said, it's a circle and fire squad. | ||
| They're shooting at each other. | ||
| And here's the thing. | ||
| The good thing about the Republicans, bad or good, however you take it, If one of them says, let's go, they go. | ||
| With Democrats, it's, ah, let's talk about it. | ||
| I mean, it's a more intelligent way to do it, but they don't have each other's back, I feel, as much. | ||
| And that's why their messaging is always off. | ||
| That's why Donald Trump could have never been a Democrat. | ||
| Like, if Donald Trump said, I want to run for president and been a Democrat, they wouldn't mesh. | ||
| Well, the Republicans, it works because, oh, we just want to stay in charge and whatever he says we're going to roll with. | ||
| You know, George Bush, weapons of mass, let's go! | ||
| You know, it's just they're 100% behind it. | ||
| Why do you think that is? | ||
| I voted for Bush after 9-11, right? | ||
| Because I'm from Texas. | ||
| And I think it's the ideology that, oh, we want to pay back. | ||
| And I don't want to say good old boys, but it's like, hey, rah-rah, let's go. | ||
| That's the whole thing. | ||
| Oh, man, you remember when the flags were in everybody's car? | ||
| Oh, yeah! | ||
| Oh, yeah! | ||
| And it was like, we were all behind it. | ||
| Dude, that was the weirdest. | ||
| I remember I was driving somewhere, and I made a turn on the street near my house, and it was one or two days after 9-11, and I never saw more flags on cars in my life. | ||
| It was like, the world changed. | ||
| Like, everybody had a flag on their car. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| or at least had that front. | ||
| And that's the thing that's sad about the world today is I tell everybody, and I'm not a politician, but I will say this. | ||
| When you have two different teams that are rivals, they'll never come to the same conclusion unless there's tragedy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That was one of the things that Reagan said once when he was talking about, they were meeting with Gorbachev, and he said, I often wonder how we would put our differences aside if we were faced with an alien threat from another world. | ||
| Oh, we totally would. | ||
| The idea that this global conflict that we think about in terms of Russia versus the United States, but... | ||
| There was some fucking aliens coming down here, war world style. | ||
| It would be Independence Day. | ||
| Everybody would join forces. | ||
| Because now you have a common enemy. | ||
| And I also believe the way our country's being ran right now, Trump is good at making an enemy. | ||
| He survives off an enemy. | ||
| This person's an enemy right now. | ||
| Everybody attack him. | ||
| Now this person's an enemy. | ||
| Everybody attack him. | ||
| I'm not saying it's right or wrong. | ||
| I'm just saying that's the way it is. | ||
| Yo, he just fucks with people. | ||
| Apparently there's some dude that's his head of secret security or secret service that he calls Dumbo because the dude has big ears. | ||
| He replaced him? | ||
| Oh, he fired him? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I think so. | |
| Dude, he's a fucking wild man and he's probably on speed. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| But it's crazy, man. | ||
| I'm just watching this. | ||
| He's hilarious. | ||
| I mean, if it wasn't the fact that you think that the moral fiber of our country is deteriorating, is this the guy? | ||
| Oh, he does have big ears. | ||
| He's got some big-ass fucking ears. | ||
| Massive ears. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Well, I know a lot of people with big ears that I like dearly. | ||
| But don't you believe this, Joe. | ||
| Let's be honest. | ||
| If America, like the whole country, could look in the mirror when Donald Trump was elected, it's a reflection of America when he got voted. | ||
| It's a reflection of a percentage of us, for sure. | ||
| No, no, no, but egotistical. | ||
| It's a drama of some. | ||
| Yeah, but I don't want to generalize, like, in terms of, like, say, that's America. | ||
| I would for a joke. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I mean, if we're being serious... | ||
| But I am being serious. | ||
| But then why was there the women's march where millions of women were in the street? | ||
| Well, let me tell you why. | ||
| Because I think Donald Trump... | ||
| When everybody was depressed Donald Trump was president, I go, you got to look at the positives. | ||
| If Hillary was elected, those women would have never got together to march. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Donald Trump has brought more people together against him. | ||
| Americans were marching for Muslims after Donald Trump became president. | ||
| The positivity that Donald Trump has created with the opposition and the togetherness, you had a million women march because Donald Trump was president. | ||
| You had people marching for the Muslims because Donald Trump was president. | ||
| He's brought, for the first time, I feel like the side that opposes Donald Trump, they're more together than ever. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| And even though we say it's ripped the country apart, you know, because there's some problems in this country, but it has brought a bunch of people together. | ||
| And I don't think if Hillary was president, you wouldn't have had the Women March. | ||
| You wouldn't have had the March for the Muslims. | ||
| You wouldn't have had people backing immigrants. | ||
| She'd just start executing men. | ||
| That's what she would do. | ||
| She'd take them all in the middle of town square and start shooting them. | ||
| First with Bill. | ||
| Bill would be the first one. | ||
| She'd behead him on television. | ||
| Well, that was the whole thing. | ||
| Like, you'd... | ||
| Yeah, just like Iran. | ||
| Just like our allies in Iran. | ||
| But don't you think... | ||
| Does Iran do public executions or is it Syria? | ||
| Syria does, right? | ||
| But don't you think, like, when Hillary didn't stand up to Bill, that's where she lost everybody? | ||
| It started way before the election. | ||
| Because women wanted her to stand up to him back then. | ||
| You don't know what she did or didn't, right? | ||
| We just know what she did publicly. | ||
| And publicly, why would she do that? | ||
| That seems like it's crazy to do. | ||
| Like, why are you a dignified person? | ||
| You're going to publicly? | ||
| Well, not trash him, but you don't have to stand next to him. | ||
| Even Melania Trump bounces on Trump. | ||
| You know, she's... | ||
| She's like, nah. | ||
| I think Hillary without Bill didn't exist. | ||
| I think that guy was a dick-slinging buccaneer, and he made his way into the motherfucking White House, and she rode that wave. | ||
| There was a giant V12 sucking gasoline like it was going out of style, blowing a big wake behind it, and she was hanging on to that fucking wakeboard line. | ||
| Jesus, Bill, where are we going? | ||
| She wasn't gutting out of Arkansas. | ||
| She wasn't getting in the White House. | ||
| She wasn't the Secretary of State. | ||
| Settle down with that nonsense. | ||
| So it's kind of like, hey, you know what you got yourself into? | ||
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
| Well, there's that, and there's also, she's a liar. | ||
| That lady is a liar. | ||
| And maybe she's a liar because she's a politician, but when just you compare what was public, like her knowledge of what went wrong with the email servers and all that jazz, and many other instances too, just one we'll talk about, and what Comey said when Comey was examining the evidence and what they did wrong and what she said they did wrong. | ||
| They're very different things. | ||
| Very different things. | ||
| Very different things. | ||
| And this is politics, right? | ||
| If your base hears you say something that isn't true, but you say it with confidence, even though the evidence doesn't support it, that argument takes place and it blurs the gray area in the middle between guilt and innocent. | ||
| Do you think when somebody gets elected president, they have a meeting with them? | ||
| Oh, fuck yeah. | ||
| And then they say, these are the things you can go after, and these are the things you can't, because if you go after this, we can't protect you from it. | ||
| I really believe those conversations happen in the White House. | ||
| Like, what kind of things do you think they say they can't protect you from? | ||
| I think, like... | ||
| Don't go after the Jews. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| I'm saying, like, there's certain organizations, like... | ||
| Stay away from the Rothschilds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don't talk about the CFR. Stay out of Bohemian Grove. | |
| I just think there's a list of corporations, big corporations that run America that they say you can't go after because a lot of presidents go in there saying, I'm going to do this against this corporation. | ||
| I'm not going to even say the corporation because I want to live. | ||
| And I feel that Secret Service really calls these people in, the presidents, and go, hey, this is who you can't go after. | ||
| Here's who you can't. | ||
| And if you do go after those, you're kind of on your own because we won't be able to save you because they're too powerful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| I believe in that. | ||
| There are giant corporations that have incredible influence on politicians. | ||
| Incredible reach. | ||
| Yeah, and spend so much money to keep them in power and get them into power and help contribute to the campaigns. | ||
| And then they scratch each other's backs. | ||
| If a president were to go in and say, I'm going to get rid of all lobbyists, that president would not make it through his term. | ||
| Well, it's hard to say that. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| No, there's too much money, Joe. | ||
| I mean, you might be right, but I'm saying, if I'm going to agree with you in this day and age, it's hard to say that. | ||
| Because you'd have to get everybody on board with killing a president. | ||
| I think they definitely did it with Kennedy. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| You know, I was talking to Byron Bowers. | ||
| No, but do you have to get everybody on board? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| You have to get everybody on board who knows about it. | ||
| Because otherwise, people are going to tell. | ||
| If you go and kill the fucking president, you have to get a lot of people on board. | ||
| We're probably going to get raided by the Secret Service right now. | ||
| No, I'm saying if you want to kill a president, it's not like it used to be. | ||
| I think it used to be less consequential. | ||
| Not that it was always... | ||
| I mean, like John Wilkes Booth days, right? | ||
| Way easier to kill the president than it is now. | ||
| Then Kennedy, way easier to kill a president in 1963 than it is to kill a president in 2019. Could you still do it? | ||
| Yeah, but you're probably going to get caught. | ||
| You would probably get caught. | ||
| You would have to have a tiny, small circle of fucking sociopaths and psychopaths, and they all agree to keep it hush. | ||
| To me, it's just one person calling another person saying, do this, pay them off, and then you can get caught, but one person... | ||
| Look, you have Secret Service, you have military protecting them, it's different. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because you'd have to get someone to get past all that. | ||
| You know, and someone would have to make a mistake in mapping. | ||
| Like, that was one of the things they said about Dealey Plaza when they rolled Kennedy through. | ||
| They're like, what fucking security person would ever agree to let someone roll through with a convertible with buildings all around? | ||
| All these buildings, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, and then also you have to take that long, slow turn where, you know, it's not like you just drive by going 50 miles an hour and you've got to get your gun out of them and shoot them quick. | ||
| No. | ||
| The guy was driving slow. | ||
| I was like, It's ridiculous. | ||
| It's like you're asking for someone to get assassinated. | ||
| But I just really feel like there are rules that we'll never ever know about. | ||
| But once you get in there, they're like, hey, here's what you need to know. | ||
| Here's what you need to know not to go against. | ||
| I would think that if anybody's going to tell us that it's Trump... | ||
| I think the best thing that could ever happen is that Trump gets out of his terms in the White House and just starts talking. | ||
| It starts writing books. | ||
| Tell us everything. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You want to be the king of the world? | ||
| Write a fucking huge book on exactly what it's like the day you become the president. | ||
| That would be insane. | ||
| How do you think he's going to be treated once he gets out, though? | ||
| They'll love him. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| They love Bush. | ||
| People hated Bush. | ||
| They called Bush a war criminal. | ||
| Now he's an adorable grandpa who paints. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, it's true. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's true. | |
| It's true. | ||
| Look, man, whatever people hated Obama when he was in office, they're going to love him within a few years. | ||
| I mean, most people that were supporters of Obama, they love him now. | ||
| I mean, he's like a messianic figure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't... | ||
| I mean, I don't know. | ||
| I think a certain percentage of the population loves Trump right now, period. | ||
| And, you know, they have reasons to back it up in terms of the economy, what they think is happening with job creation, all these different things that he's doing that may or may not have devastating implications, depending on who you talk to that's an expert, and I'm not one. | ||
| Yeah, me neither. | ||
| But there's obviously... | ||
| And then also people say, well, this is a trend that was actually going on during the Obama administration. | ||
| He's just riding the wave. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I'm too stupid. | ||
| I don't understand that stuff. | ||
| But I'm saying, in terms of numbers, it's not like the country is completely imploding right now. | ||
| I mean, maybe by some people's metric it's not doing as well as he would like to pretend it is. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| But my thing, it doesn't even matter when they say the stocks are up and all that. | ||
| What matters is your personal life. | ||
| Are you in a better place? | ||
| Because he's president. | ||
| What's matter to you? | ||
| But for some people, they're not, right? | ||
| Some people, if you get rounded up by ICE, no, you're not. | ||
| Yeah, you're not. | ||
| It's horrible. | ||
| This is the worst time ever for perception of us in terms of the way we handle immigrants. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, you know the bad part about immigrants. | ||
| It's all bad. | ||
| But you know the problem is they've dealt with this problem, what, for the last 30, 40 years? | ||
| I mean, and if they make nicer facilities, let's say they know they're coming. | ||
| So they don't have enough judges. | ||
| The facilities are horrible. | ||
| So let's say they make nicer facilities. | ||
| Then the government thinks, the whole thinking of the government is, if we do that, then that's going to encourage more to come. | ||
| Because now it's nice. | ||
| Yeah, they're like, bro, you get over there, it's nice, you get a shower, they have delicious food, they have a taco stand, you have a fucking party over there, bro, margaritas, you party with the guards once you get to know them, they're good guys. | ||
| And that's the thing, it's like, what do you do? | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| This is a problem that will take generations to fix, and And it is a problem. | ||
| There is a problem. | ||
| The only way it's really going to get fixed, really, is two ways. | ||
| One, you've got to make drugs legal. | ||
| And two, you've got to prop up all these countries. | ||
| All these countries that are third world countries where these people are fleeing because they don't have any possibility. | ||
| There's no hope for them. | ||
| wherever they are, if they're in incredibly poor countries, there's no future. | ||
| They don't have the resources, they don't have anything to do. | ||
| So the only way you can keep people happy on a global scale is you've got to figure out like, the highs of the highs, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like wealthy people in the industrialized Western world, right? | ||
| The lows of the lows are people that lived in, that are living in these places that are disease ridden, poverty stricken, horrible, with no future. | ||
| We've got to figure out a way to bring everybody to a comfortable middle all over the world. | ||
| So that there's no extreme poverty in any location anywhere. | ||
| We want to eradicate diseases. | ||
| Okay, for sure we do, right? | ||
| We all do. | ||
| Don't we want to eradicate the problem, the dis-ease of poverty? | ||
| It's a dis-ease. | ||
| It's a terrible feeling to be poor and scrounging for food in a crime-ridden environment. | ||
| And the only way to fix that is put attention on those areas and use money to try to raise it up. | ||
| They're not going to raise it up on their own. | ||
| They never have. | ||
| No, and never will. | ||
| Yeah, I just think, globally, if people ever could get their shit together, and this is what I hope, this is my, if I had like a pipe dream of technology, that technology gets us to a place where we can read each other's minds. | ||
| And I think this is possible. | ||
| And I think once we can read each other's minds, we can understand that we're not that dissimilar. | ||
| That we're not nearly as far apart as we think we are, and that most of our problems that we have Are problems of ego and problems of ideology and problems of ethics and morals and truth and lies and that reading each other's minds will sort a lot of that out and then we're going to figure out a way to I don't want to say for redistribution of wealth. | ||
| I don't think you should just give people things. | ||
| What I think you should do is try to figure out a way to rebuild communities and give people opportunities to live better lives. | ||
| And we have to do that globally. | ||
| But I think the problem today is present it to... | ||
| Because I listen to both sides. | ||
| When you travel as a comic, people just come up to you and tell you their views on just random things. | ||
| So you hear from both sides. | ||
| One side is like, I don't want to just give out stuff for free. | ||
| Why should I give them stuff? | ||
| I worked hard for mine. | ||
| And you got other people that go, we need to help everyone out because we are the world type of situation. | ||
| They're both right. | ||
| This is why it's confusing. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| They're 100% both right. | ||
| You don't want to give people stuff. | ||
| But you don't want to just, you got lucky. | ||
| You got lucky as fuck. | ||
| You're born in America. | ||
| I mean, you're from Texas. | ||
| I'm from Boston. | ||
| Dude, we're from the industrialized Western world in the pinnacle of civilization in terms of opportunity. | ||
| There's never been a place like this. | ||
| We're the luckiest fucking people that ever walked the face of the planet. | ||
| Anybody who doesn't acknowledge that, you've got to be crazy, man. | ||
| I became friends with this lady at a restaurant, and me and my wife and son would always go in there. | ||
| And we got really close, and she was just talking about her family's from Ecuador, and her kids, she can't afford her kids to be over here, so she's sending them to school over there, and she keeps sending money over there. | ||
| But it's riddled with gangs. | ||
| Nothing but gangs out there. | ||
| And if they find out you're in America sending money back, they'll hold your family hostage. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And that's real. | ||
| People don't believe that. | ||
| They think they, oh, that's not. | ||
| It's real. | ||
| Like, this lady we've known for over, like, eight years. | ||
| And she tells these stories about, like, her sending her money and she has a person out there that basically, you know, lives in a little house and keeps everything secret. | ||
| Because if it comes out that she's sending money to them, they'll hold that family hostage and cut their fingers off and Yeah. | ||
| Dude, that's real. | ||
| It's bad. | ||
| It's bad. | ||
| And we're living here, you know, we're lucky we're doing this podcast, but there are people struggling, and when I hear people go, ah, you know, that's their problem. | ||
| Nah, that's terrible, man. | ||
| That's the world's problem. | ||
| You're an awful human being. | ||
| Yeah, your perspective sucks, for sure. | ||
| It's terrible. | ||
| And it's going on all over the world, and it's creating this, and I feel that, you know, we're creating this me, me, me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I also think we need to also have conversations about it. | ||
| I did a show in Kansas City, and I always talk about when I do stand-up, I don't talk politics. | ||
| So, you know, you do the local press and things. | ||
| And there were people that come out to my shows in Trump hats, like literally wearing Trump hats, sat front row. | ||
| Did they do that to fuck with you? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| They probably did. | ||
| Also, I don't care. | ||
| But they probably did. | ||
| They probably did. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because after the show, literally, and when I say Trump supporters, they look. | ||
| I mean like the big husky guy. | ||
| Hey, how you doing? | ||
| Like that type of thing. | ||
| And they go, we heard our wife said you weren't going to talk politics, so we want to see. | ||
| And then she goes, he's right, you didn't. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| We want to see. | ||
| We want to sit up front where our Trump had to support our leader. | ||
| Just in case you crack any funnies about his orange skin or his fucked up hair. | ||
| But I didn't. | ||
| I didn't because that's not my comedy, but basically they bought tons of merch because I didn't do it. | ||
| And they also said something that was important. | ||
| And I think this is important to know when you try to make a point to somebody. | ||
| When you start off yelling at them, it's never going to go well. | ||
| If you can explain it to them through your eyes and not yell, have a conversation. | ||
| Because I talk a lot about, like, you know... | ||
| I talk a lot about growing up in an all-white neighborhood and the racist things that I encountered. | ||
| And I didn't yell at them. | ||
| And I didn't say, I hate white people. | ||
| I just told my point of view. | ||
| And they actually were open and they actually responded, I understand now. | ||
| You know, nobody's ever explained it to us like that. | ||
| And I think it's about conversation. | ||
| Because when we watch TV, it's all about... | ||
|
unidentified
|
You suck! | |
| You suck! | ||
| Well, let me tell you why. | ||
| You got to start from a place. | ||
| Put it like this. | ||
| I don't know if you heard of this Green Deal where they want to take 70% of anyone that makes over $10 million, 70% of their income. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Good luck, bitch. | ||
| It's the dumbest thing ever. | ||
| That's AOC, right? | ||
| Is that her idea? | ||
| It's the dumbest thing ever. | ||
| I wasn't calling her a bitch when I said that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| I like her. | ||
| I was saying good luck, bitch, as an expression. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I like her, too. | ||
| I don't agree with her with that, but I like her. | ||
| But what I'm saying is, my friend was like, oh, you know if the Democrats win, that's going to get passed because we hate rich people. | ||
| And I go, that's the problem. | ||
| We're starting at hate. | ||
| The reason why you think it's going to pass is because you think people hate rich people. | ||
| See, and you've got to have a conversation. | ||
| That's not going to fix it. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| First of all, you've got incompetent use of funds. | ||
| Where does the money go? | ||
| All our taxes, where does it go? | ||
| This idea that if you tax the rich, that all of a sudden all the problems will stop existing. | ||
| That is so silly. | ||
| You still have incompetent people that are distributing the money. | ||
| They'll just create more jobs, there'll be more red tape, more bureaucrats. | ||
| What we've got to do is figure out a real plan for engineering our civilization better. | ||
| That's what people have to do, and there should be real discussion from real experts, biologists, historians, psychologists, people who really understand human beings, really understand what's wrong with our society today, and we have an open discussion nationally about that. | ||
| That can never happen. | ||
| Of course it can. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Right now, because of the government. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| That can happen. | ||
| It's just we have to look at it in terms of a real priority. | ||
| But no, it goes by whoever parties in charge their priorities. | ||
| Somebody has to make it a priority for the nation. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| But that's not impossible. | ||
| But until you have a person, I believe everything can be fixed. | ||
| This is a simple fix. | ||
| If you just elect a person that takes some Republican values and some Democratic values. | ||
| The thing is, right now in politics, you have to be one or the other. | ||
| Like, if a person came in and goes, you know what? | ||
| I like these Republican ideas. | ||
| I like these Democratic ideas. | ||
| Let's roll. | ||
| I'm going to be down the middle and let's roll with both of them. | ||
| It's called being a centrist. | ||
| Yeah, that exists. | ||
| Yeah, but it needs to win. | ||
| But that can happen. | ||
| It can happen. | ||
| All of it can happen. | ||
| You just need the right person. | ||
| But until that happens- What does that mean, though? | ||
| Every four years, we figure out what happens, right? | ||
| And before Trump won, we never thought a reality show fucking guy could win, but that guy won. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you go, okay, well, now we know that happens. | ||
| All of this stuff can happen. | ||
| We're not asking for alchemy. | ||
| We're not trying to turn lead into gold. | ||
| We're trying to figure out a way. | ||
| But you're going against a system that is… You are. | ||
| There's a new system. | ||
| The new system is the system of public opinion which is readily accessible. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| And that's never happened before. | ||
| There's never been a time where everyone had a say in one way, shape, or form. | ||
| Whether it's through commenting, through Instagram, or Twitter, or social media. | ||
| That's one of the reasons why upholding the freedom of speech in these things is so important. | ||
| Even if people are saying things you don't agree with. | ||
| The only way this all gets sorted out is we get to figure out a way to express ourselves. | ||
| And there's going to be arguments back and forth, but what you've got to do is someone's got to put forth an educated plan, like a plan that's based on science and reason and a plan that you can debate against opposers of that plan. | ||
| But when you have people that don't believe in science, how do you... | ||
| Slowly but surely, you've got to educate people. | ||
| It's going to take generations, is what I'm saying. | ||
| It's like the momentum of our stubbornness and our past and the sort of the systems that we find ourselves stuck in, systems of behavior and thinking and culture... | ||
| All that stuff is going to take a long time before we sort the wheat from the chaff. | ||
| We've got to figure out what's good and what's bad, and we're doing it. | ||
| But we're doing it actively, and it's frustrating because you're like, God damn it, this is the worst time. | ||
| We still have all these problems. | ||
| We still have cops shooting people. | ||
| We still have crime. | ||
| We still have Wall Street theft. | ||
| We still have all this stuff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you know what I like is we know about it now. | ||
| Where it's not hidden. | ||
| Like, 20 years ago, you heard N.W.A. make that song F the Police, and they're talking about the same things that are happening today, except you would hear the song and go, oh, that's a great song. | ||
| What about Rodney King? | ||
| Yeah, Rodney King. | ||
| You watched him get the fuck beaten out of him on TV. And here's the thing about the Rodney King thing. | ||
| That guy apparently had done a bunch of crazy shit, right? | ||
| He got in a car chase with the cops. | ||
| He beat the fuck out of somebody before that. | ||
| There was a lot going on. | ||
| You just got to see the end of it while this guy is... | ||
| What was he on? | ||
| PCP or some shit? | ||
| I don't know if he... | ||
| Was he on a drug? | ||
| I think he was on PCP. PCP apparently makes you look superhuman strong. | ||
| I had a buddy of mine who got his finger bitten off while he was on PCP. So he didn't even know it. | ||
| Finger bitten off by who? | ||
| In a street fight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like he didn't even realize his finger because he was on PCP. He didn't even realize somebody bit his finger off. | ||
| Yeah, he had his toe removed and his toe put onto his finger, where his finger used to be. | ||
| Was it a thumb? | ||
| No, it was his pinky finger, or his trigger finger. | ||
| So on one of his, and he had it curved. | ||
| So he could always throw right hooks. | ||
| So when you'd shake his hand, he would give you this weird handshake where he would shake your hand, but there was always one finger that wouldn't straighten out. | ||
| It didn't move good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because it was really his toe. | ||
| They replaced his finger with a toe. | ||
| That must have looked weird. | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| It was real weird. | ||
| Yeah, but that's PCP, son. | ||
| Living that PCP life. | ||
| Those fucking crazy people in Boston, man. | ||
| He was a boxing coach. | ||
| Ugh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| It's just, we need to get to a better place. | ||
| Yeah, we're getting to a better place. | ||
| But I think it's a long, slow process. | ||
| I think we are in the, I mean, there's people that say, like, hey, to minimize the suffering that people feel right now is unjust, and for you to say that is outrageous, and it's just a hallmark of your delusional perspective. | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| This is not denying the awful things of the world. | ||
| The awful things of the world exist. | ||
| But if you tried to look at this as a mathematical equation, if you looked above, you would say, well, there's a lot of problems here. | ||
| There's a lot of competing factors. | ||
| There's environmental factors. | ||
| Like, what are they doing in the world? | ||
| What are they doing to the ocean? | ||
| What are they doing to the air? | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| Everything's warming up and people are fighting over what's causing it. | ||
| They're not even paying attention. | ||
| This is madness. | ||
| But look how much knowledge there is. | ||
| Look how much discussion there is. | ||
| Movements are moving and growing and people are... | ||
| Even when they're misinformed, it's still... | ||
| There's activity. | ||
| There's all this stuff going on. | ||
| Even when someone says, hey, we're going to tax everybody that makes more than $10 million, 70%. | ||
| Like... | ||
| Bitch, you ain't taxing shit. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| Just stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. | ||
| Just because someone works really hard, you can't take all of it. | ||
| Look, stop people from stealing money. | ||
| Stop people from... | ||
| But if you... | ||
| People say, well, we want equality of outcome. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| As soon as we get equality of effort, talk to me. | ||
| Yes, thank you. | ||
| As soon as we get... | ||
| Because some people don't hustle. | ||
| They just don't. | ||
| And I don't know why. | ||
| Maybe it's the way they were raised. | ||
| Maybe they have poor nutrition. | ||
| Maybe they have hookworm. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck it is. | ||
| But don't say that everybody's supposed to hit the right spot. | ||
| Everyone's gonna get to this spot, and then after that spot, we're gonna divvy up all the money. | ||
| So nobody ever makes more than $100,000 a year and the world's a better place. | ||
| Bitch, that doesn't make the world a better place. | ||
| That makes lazy people happy. | ||
| That some fucking juggernaut like Mark Cuban or one of these billionaire characters is like hustling constantly and gathering up massive resources. | ||
| Yeah, he's playing the game of Monopoly, but he's playing it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. | ||
| That's his option. | ||
| He can do that. | ||
| You can't stop people from doing that. | ||
| What you can stop them is from doing unjust things with that money. | ||
| And what maybe you can do is help someone lean towards a Bill Gates type situation where he does so much good and so much charitable work. | ||
| It helps out so many people that you go, oh, well maybe it's not a bad thing for a guy like that to have all that money. | ||
| Because you don't have to think of him as just Mr. Moneybags. | ||
| Maybe you can think of him as he does have access to all this money, but he's also this incredible resource for hope and change and prosperity for some folks. | ||
| I think people wouldn't mind giving money. | ||
| To something that they see being built. | ||
| Like, if there's work into it. | ||
| People hate the idea of just giving money and not seeing something from it. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| But when you're building stuff. | ||
| Giving it to people that don't know what the fuck to do with it, and they're just going to find a use for it. | ||
| Because that's what bureaucracy is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know, Joe. | ||
| We just... | ||
| I don't know either, but I do know that it's fashionable to say it sucks. | ||
| It's fashionable to say everything sucks. | ||
| Well, it's easy to say that, but like you said, but I really think it starts with, if the government is not on the same page and they're always fighting, you can't move forward. | ||
| All this great stuff you're saying can't move forward because it starts from the top, Joe. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| It starts from the top. | ||
| What's interesting is one of the things that's cool about the government fighting is you get to see that even the president can't do the things that he wants. | ||
| He has to consult with people and they have to agree on something. | ||
| And it has to be reasonable. | ||
| And they have to present it to the American people. | ||
| And so the people have to represent their constituents. | ||
| And so you're seeing this really fascinating thing because you've never had a guy like Trump in office before. | ||
| So you see him say he's going to do things and then you see the rest of the government going, the fuck you are? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The fuck you are? | ||
| And then you watch this stalemate. | ||
| You watch this go down. | ||
| And you watch these people being forced to negotiate in the way Trump is forced to talk about Nancy Pelosi because she has so much power. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know he wants to call her a cunt. | ||
| He wants to call her an old witch. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| But he has to pay the respect because he knows now. | ||
| She golf claps right in his face. | ||
| She's like, gives him this. | ||
| Man, it's so fun to watch right now. | ||
| It is a fun time, man. | ||
| And with social media being so big, how do you deal with people like the haters? | ||
| Because there's so many people. | ||
| I call them thumb thugs. | ||
| But how do you deal? | ||
| They're hating in the dark. | ||
| I don't know what they're doing. | ||
| You don't read all those comments, do you? | ||
| I don't read shit anymore, man. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| I very, very rarely go into mentions. | ||
| And if I do, it's usually a mistake. | ||
| I just do my best. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I do my best. | ||
| I post and I go. | ||
| I post and ghost. | ||
| You don't even look at people's feeds, do you? | ||
| No. | ||
| I look at some people's feeds on Instagram when I'm bored. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, I'll read some things. | ||
| You know, I look at some cool pictures. | ||
| I watch some inspirational shit. | ||
| I like going to the rocks, seeing them lifting weights. | ||
| Man. | ||
| I get pumped up. | ||
| I want to go to the gym. | ||
| Let me tell you. | ||
| The Rock is amazing. | ||
| Let me tell you, I interviewed The Rock. | ||
| The first time I met him was like 11 years ago during the game plan. | ||
| And we just hit it off, right? | ||
| Game plan? | ||
| The game plan. | ||
| That's where he played a quarterback. | ||
| He was a lot thinner. | ||
| It was his first breakout movie. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| He did Scorpion and then the game plan. | ||
| And after that interview, he took some time and just talked to me. | ||
| He wasn't the rock then. | ||
| I mean, he was. | ||
| And then over the years, every time I interviewed him, he would pull me aside and go, are you going to my acting coach? | ||
| Are you doing this? | ||
| Are you doing that? | ||
| Is there anything I can help you with? | ||
| And I'm like, what? | ||
| Like, and then he got bigger and bigger. | ||
| And the last time I saw him, same thing. | ||
| Yo, are you doing, are you going to the acting coach? | ||
| Are you working on your goals? | ||
| Are you improving? | ||
| Like literally his Instagram, but in real life. | ||
| And he'll never know this, but it's a thing that's, for me, just average schmo, Michael Yo, to take the time out every time I interview him, to ask me if I'm achieving my goals, if I'm moving forward in life, giving me positive things, positive thoughts, to take that time like five minutes after every interview. | ||
| And this dude is booked nonstop. | ||
| But to actually take time, It's just so inspirational. | ||
| And to see him be the biggest movie star in the world, and he knows everybody's name. | ||
| He's very respectful. | ||
| I don't know if he has an earpiece, but he's like the president. | ||
| He knows everybody's name. | ||
| He could be president. | ||
| Oh, 100%. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| 100% he could be president. | ||
|
unidentified
|
100%. | |
| I would vote for him. | ||
| I would too. | ||
| Because he's just a hard worker. | ||
| He also comes from humble beginnings. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I mean, he's in Hawaii right now and he's filming on his Instagram. | ||
| He's talking about all the neighborhoods that he goes back to to check to see where he was from when he was poor and starving. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know, I mean, he really is from humble beginnings. | ||
| I mean, he had only like, you know, it's the story of like $5 left in his account. | ||
| and then he got discovered in wrestling. | ||
| And I knew him in Miami when he was doing WWE. | ||
| I interviewed him a couple times over there. | ||
| And he played for the University of Miami, my favorite college football team. | ||
| So it's a thing where, you know, the history of 11 years, but for him that big to take time to motivate me separately. | ||
| And, you know, I know if he sees me out, he knows my name, but it's not like I'm texting him. | ||
| I'm not like Kevin Hart with him. | ||
| And just to be a random dude that he takes time out every time he sees me to make sure I'm hitting my goals and moving forward with my career and not back. | ||
| dude that he takes time out every time he sees me to make sure I'm hitting my goals and moving forward with my career and not back and then offering hey if you ever need anything get in touch with me you know I would never take him up on that but it's a thing where I'm nobody he's the rock and to be that inspiration I mean it just does so much man like it little things that big celebrities do or somebody that really inspires you like they don't know how much that means like | ||
| Just that little time he spends, it means so much. | ||
| Yeah, I think he knows. | ||
| I think he does know. | ||
| I think he's a genuine leader. | ||
| He is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
100%. | |
| I think that's why so many people like him, because what he says is authentic. | ||
| It's really who he is. | ||
| There is nothing fake about that man. | ||
| You don't have to be fake. | ||
| You just have to be successful. | ||
| And if you want to work as hard as that guy, you can be successful. | ||
| I asked one day, I was like, do you just take a bunch of pictures at the gym? | ||
| And just post throughout the day. | ||
| You don't get that big from taking pictures, bro. | ||
| I know, man. | ||
| That guy's picking heavy shit up. | ||
| That's too big. | ||
| But you know what? | ||
| That's just too big, Joe. | ||
| It's not too big for him. | ||
| He's an action star. | ||
| Dude, and he's the first action star that looks like an action star. | ||
| I would want him to save my life, in real life. | ||
| Wow, what is he, like six, seven or some shit like that? | ||
| How tall is he? | ||
| He's giant. | ||
| He's a little bit taller than me. | ||
| I'm 6'3". | ||
| He's giant. | ||
| He's built like a fucking legitimate superhero. | ||
| Will Smith was my guy, but I left Will Smith for The Rock. | ||
| Damn, you left him. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You left Will? | |
| No, I didn't. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| You gotta do what you gotta do, bro. | ||
| A burning building. | ||
| A burning building. | ||
| Who's gonna save you? | ||
| Who's gonna save you? | ||
| Will Smith might save you, too. | ||
| Aliens coming at you. | ||
| Independence Day, did you not see Will Smith? | ||
| Save the world, you motherfucker. | ||
| Look, I love Will Smith. | ||
| Jesus Christ, bro. | ||
| An earthquake. | ||
| An earthquake. | ||
| Well, if you want someone to hold one hand on the top of a building and then hold your wrist with another and know that he's got you, according to the movie poster, that's The Rock. | ||
|
unidentified
|
See? | |
| I never saw Will Smith holding the top of a building and holding someone by the hand. | ||
| Will Smith can shoot a gun. | ||
| Will Smith can shoot a gun. | ||
| He fucked up those zombies in I Am Legend. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| What a great movie. | ||
| That was a great fucking movie. | ||
| Oh, my goodness. | ||
| It was a great fucking movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God. | |
| God. | ||
| Yeah, but Will Smith and The Rock need to make a movie together. | ||
| They never have? | ||
| Is that real? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| That doesn't make sense. | ||
| That would be amazing. | ||
| That would be the biggest movie in the history of the known universe. | ||
| History. | ||
| Who else? | ||
| Tom Cruise. | ||
| Get them all together. | ||
| Tom Cruise, Will Smith, and The Rock. | ||
| Have you ever interviewed Tom Cruise? | ||
| No, but only with my brain when I'm in my sensory deprivation tank. | ||
| He reaches out to me. | ||
| Does he really? | ||
| He makes a mind meld. | ||
| He puts on his Scientology earbuds and he... | ||
| Astral travels. | ||
| Can I tell you it's an amazing interview, Tom Cruise? | ||
| What's amazing about it? | ||
| It's because you hear so many different stories. | ||
| Do you wake up with your pants off? | ||
| No, I didn't. | ||
| No, not that time. | ||
| Who am I? He sympathized me. | ||
| But he doesn't break eye contact with you. | ||
| That's what I like. | ||
| No, he's just like, hey, what's up? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And what he'll do is I get nervous. | ||
| No, I'm not. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| No, but that's what he's doing. | ||
| He's making you nervous. | ||
| Or he just wants you to know he's locked in. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, he will not break eye contact. | ||
| Like, if you look over here, he'll be like... | ||
| Probably makes it harder for you to ask fucked up questions, too. | ||
| No, what he does. | ||
| And I tell all my friends... | ||
| I tell all my friends, when you interview Tom Cruise, he will ask him a question. | ||
| He'll try to make it three minutes long. | ||
| So you can't ask him that many. | ||
| So you've got to learn. | ||
| You've got to build a relationship with him. | ||
| So then you can ask him a bunch. | ||
| See, I've interviewed him so many times. | ||
| I remember one time I walked in the room and was like, Hey Tom, I've got five minutes, so we're going to have to answer these questions. | ||
| So I got to that point. | ||
| But he's a great interviewer. | ||
| Nice guy. | ||
| Did you ever get to Scientology? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No. | ||
| Never. | ||
| Is that part of the deal? | ||
| You can't ask him about that? | ||
| Well, I heard a part of Scientology is for you to walk out the room saying how great they are. | ||
| And I just did it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that makes sense. | |
| I just did it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So maybe... | ||
| It works. | ||
| It did. | ||
| It just worked. | ||
| Well, that's just a philosophy on how to influence people, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How to positively influence people. | ||
| You want those people really thinking the best of you. | ||
| Good strategy. | ||
| Well, everybody was like, oh, he's crazy, is this, is that. | ||
| Every time I interview, he's great. | ||
| I love Tom Cruise. | ||
| Some of my favorite people are crazy. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Tell me someone's crazy, that doesn't shake me. | ||
| I'm not like, okay, well, I'm not going to talk to them. | ||
| Everybody's a little crazy. | ||
| They're crazy. | ||
| My favorite people are all crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, literally crazy. | ||
| My favorite people. | ||
| So if someone tells me that someone's crazy, I'm like, okay, what else you got? | ||
| It's crazy, not scary to me. | ||
| Like, Will Smith is awesome. | ||
| He's got to be crazy. | ||
| Will Smith? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| Something's going on. | ||
| Too nice. | ||
| Too nice, too smart. | ||
| No, get out of here. | ||
| Get out of here. | ||
| No. | ||
| Is he a Scientologist? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| Might be. | ||
| The problem I had with being an entertainment reporter, they give you questions to ask and you have to ask them, or literally, it could be your job. | ||
| So they float out like a bunch of real dumb ones? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Did they give you any room to like... | ||
| Oh yeah, you can do whatever you want, but they'll be like, hey, you gotta ask this question. | ||
| And it's like if somebody just got divorced, you gotta be like, hey, what happened to divorce? | ||
| Damn. | ||
| And it sucks. | ||
| You gotta ask women that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's why I stopped doing it, man. | ||
| I couldn't. | ||
| One time, what's her name? | ||
| Anna. | ||
| What's her name? | ||
| She was in Devil's Wear Prada, not Meryl Streep, but Anne Hathaway. | ||
| So they gave me the dumbest question to ask Anne Hathaway. | ||
| Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were on the cover of Vogue, and right before that, it was Anne Hathaway. | ||
| And so they told me, they go, hey, why don't you ask her what she thinks about the cover? | ||
| Because everybody was like, oh, this is bull crap that Kim Kardashian is on. | ||
| I asked Anne Hathaway that question. | ||
| And she goes, well, you know, I don't run the magazine, so it really doesn't matter to me. | ||
| I'm like, fine. | ||
| So I finished the question. | ||
| I'm walking down the stairs and go, then I hear it. | ||
| She goes, why the fuck? | ||
| I was about to turn back around because I kind of got mad, but then I was like, man, she's fucking right. | ||
| That was a dumbass question. | ||
| Well, maybe you could say, I'm sorry they made me ask you that question. | ||
| Nah, it was too late, man. | ||
| It was too late. | ||
| Yeah, that's a part of the problem. | ||
| I just feel so stupid asking those questions. | ||
| Some producers, like, winding you up like a little robot. | ||
| Click, click, click. | ||
| Get out there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ask the questions I ask. | |
| And if you don't ask? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, they get so mad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You get in trouble. | |
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, they threaten your job with it. | ||
| Well, that's why those shows are always so canned. | ||
| You know, when you have people talking to entertainers and everything. | ||
| So canned. | ||
| It just seems so inauthentic. | ||
| Like, they wanted me to ask. | ||
| My first interview ever was with Jennifer Aniston at Marley and Me. | ||
| And this is right after she broke up with Brad Pitt. | ||
| They wanted you to ask about Brad Pitt? | ||
| They wanted me to ask about Brad Pitt. | ||
| And I was like, no, I can't do that. | ||
| Did you tell them no? | ||
| No, it was my first gig. | ||
| So you had to? | ||
| No, I didn't. | ||
| So I said, what if I figure out a different way to ask? | ||
| They were like, whatever you get, we need a clip. | ||
| And this was when I was at E! Entertainment. | ||
| And this was my first big shoot ever. | ||
| Jennifer Aniston. | ||
| And they were like, you're going to go out there. | ||
| So it was Marley and me. | ||
| So she just broke up with Brad Pitt. | ||
| So I go, since the movie's about a dog, I go, what's the similarities between a dog and a man? | ||
| And she laughs and gives a great answer about, you know, one will be around, but a dog is always forever. | ||
| You know, like, men can treat you wrong. | ||
| So, I got a great answer from it. | ||
| And I didn't have to ask about Brad Pitt. | ||
| And that's the thing is, if you find a smart way to ask it, you can ask it. | ||
| But they just sometimes want you to be just so brutal. | ||
| It's, I can't. | ||
| Well, it's because they don't have to do it. | ||
| And they don't keep the relationships. | ||
| They don't care about the relationships. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And they just don't even care about you. | ||
| You're a little trained person that they send out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm a little monkey. | |
| Hey, person. | ||
| Little person. | ||
| Listen to me. | ||
| Little person. | ||
| You have to listen. | ||
| The person who signs the paper gets to send you off and give you a little fucking direction. | ||
| It's the grossest. | ||
| I mean, it was amazing because I got to build relationships with people, but good for you for recognizing it. | ||
| Oh, 100%. | ||
| I knew they were doing it. | ||
| I mean, not even that, but recognizing you've got to get out of that business. | ||
| Oh, 100%. | ||
| My soul couldn't do it. | ||
| I couldn't ask people about them breaking up or something tragic happening in their lives. | ||
| Like, how are you doing now? | ||
| I've run into some of them TMZ dudes that feel bad. | ||
| I'm like, look, bro, I feel bad, too, but I'm not talking to you like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nothing good ever comes out of these. | ||
| There's no disrespect to you. | ||
| I know you're doing a job. | ||
| I'd probably do the same job if I was in your place. | ||
| When I was a kid, if TMZ was around, I'd take that job. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What am I going to do? | ||
| Just try to ask some famous dude a funny question? | ||
| But it's just like, it's not the way to discuss things. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's not the way to discuss things when you're coming out of the airport or you're on your way to a fucking restaurant somewhere and someone sticks a camera in your face. | ||
| It's like, come on. | ||
| Well, I wasn't doing that. | ||
| We were going to junkets. | ||
| No, no, we're talking about TMZ. TMZ, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| But I mean, these junkets are a brutal assault on reality. | ||
| You're saying the same thing over and over and over again. | ||
| Everyone asks you the same question. | ||
| So tell us about this show. | ||
| Michael, you play Michael Yeo. | ||
| Which is your real name. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| Oh, by the way, write this down. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Michael Yo, Average Schmo. | ||
| That's your first comedy special. | ||
| You're going to call it Michael Yo, Average Schmo. | ||
| Michael Yo, Average Schmo. | ||
| Because that's what you said when you're talking about The Rock. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm an Average Schmo. | ||
| Michael Yo, Average Schmo. | ||
| So that would be a funny... | ||
| It would be my second. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| You already have one. | ||
| I just came out with it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And when did it come out? | ||
| On Amazon Prime, it's free. | ||
| It came out two and a half weeks ago. | ||
| Oh, nice. | ||
| It's called Blasian. | ||
| Blasian? | ||
| Because I'm black and Asian. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| Didn't Tiger Woods say something like that? | ||
| No, he said he's Cub Blasian. | ||
| Went on Oprah and told her he wasn't black. | ||
| And black people got so pissed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| That's a tough one to swallow. | ||
| Well, I tell you what's tougher is I was up for a job and it's a very prominent black producer told me I wasn't black enough for the job. | ||
| So hold on. | ||
| There's tanning booths close by. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll be back in four days and you'll rock your fucking world. | |
| Because, dude, if you go to a tanning booth Every day. | ||
| I could not get black. | ||
| You could get dark. | ||
| But I wouldn't get black. | ||
| Dude, I can get dark. | ||
| You could get dark. | ||
| But not black. | ||
| You couldn't get black. | ||
| Well, what do they want? | ||
| They wanted black. | ||
| Like Wesley Snipes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| No disrespect. | ||
| No disrespect. | ||
| But I guess they said, but I think it was more than just skin color. | ||
| Well, they wanted a certain, there was a certain role. | ||
| Yeah, they wanted a, like, I don't, like, when you see me, you don't think, oh, straight up black dude. | ||
| Right, right, right, right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They wanted something for... | ||
| I mean, that's the thing, man. | ||
| Look, if you're making a story and you want these characters in the story, like say if you have some big fucking goon who terrorizes people, you can't get Kevin Hart to play that role. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense. | ||
| No. | ||
| That's where The Rock comes in. | ||
| Right? | ||
| He's a big giant dude. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Oh, I love him. | ||
| Everybody has to have... | ||
| That's the weird thing about acting, too. | ||
| It's like, man, you've got to hope somebody has something that you would do good in. | ||
| You always hope that someone's got a project that you could slot into that project. | ||
| Yeah, or you've just got to create your own. | ||
| Yeah, that's true, too. | ||
| The best is Billy Bob Thornton, that Sling Blade thing. | ||
| Do you know what he did with there? | ||
| No. | ||
| Apparently he was working on some movie, some bullshit part in some movie, and he was super depressed and started doing this fucking character. | ||
| You know, he does that character from Slingly, and then would do it in the mirror and shit, and practice it, and decided to make a whole fucking movie about it. | ||
| And that movie launched him. | ||
| It was his own idea. | ||
| Well, I mean, it's kind of like what you're doing. | ||
| You just decided to do your own thing, and now you control your own destiny. | ||
| That's where we all need to get to. | ||
| Like, honestly, what I love about comedy right now is, like, Joe Coy was my mentor, and he's blown up in comedy. | ||
| So I see people like you, Joe, and Bill Burr, and just Theo Vaughn, who took me out my very first time doing comedy ever. | ||
| Did he really? | ||
| Yeah, in Madison, Wisconsin. | ||
| You know, at, I think it's called State on Six or Six on State. | ||
| That's the first time you ever got paid? | ||
| That's the first time I ever got paid and he's the first person to ever take me out. | ||
| And I remember we laying in and he goes, you're going to see grown men eating cheese. | ||
| Like, sharing bags of cheese. | ||
| In Wisconsin. | ||
| In Wisconsin. | ||
| And as soon as we got off the plane, literally two men on a bench sharing a bag of cheese. | ||
| And he was like, I told you. | ||
| Like, it was very weird. | ||
| That is weird, the culture of cheese in Wisconsin. | ||
| Anyway. | ||
| So, now Theo's blowing up. | ||
| You're making your own path, and I think with comedy, now is the time where people can make their own path and control their own destiny and get paid really well. | ||
| I mean, just go to a comedy store and look at the parking lot now of comics. | ||
| Well, what it is now is you're not dependent upon networks anymore. | ||
| The networks that we've created, or what I like to refer to as an organic network. | ||
| There's a network of... | ||
| We're friends. | ||
| Like when you're talking about Bill Burr or Tom Segur, Ari Shafir, whoever these people are. | ||
| Chris DeLee, all these really successful popular comedians right now. | ||
| Theo and so and so and so. | ||
| Andrew Santino. | ||
| These guys are all friends with each other. | ||
| And everyone knows. | ||
| Like, if someone says, this guy's funny, you're like, well, listen to the guys who are telling you. | ||
| These guys are all hilarious. | ||
| They know who the funny people are. | ||
| They know who the pretenders are, too. | ||
| They don't talk about them, and they avoid them. | ||
| And then you know who the funny people are. | ||
| And you just, it's an organic network. | ||
| Like, there's no paperwork. | ||
| But everybody helps everybody. | ||
| And one of the beautiful things about it is, no one's fighting for scraps anymore. | ||
| It's not like there's TV shows, and there's only, like, if you and me are in the audition room, and we're friends, but we're both auditioning for the same role, like, I don't really wish you very well. | ||
| I might fuck with you. | ||
| I'm like, dude, you sweating? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| You look nervous? | ||
| You okay? | ||
| It's an easy gig, right? | ||
| You're not nervous about that, right? | ||
| You're going to go in there and perform. | ||
| So you're not eating each other. | ||
| Yeah, you're not eating each other. | ||
| You're not scratching and clawing for scraps. | ||
| Everybody can support each other because, first of all, there's... | ||
| Fucking thousands of places to perform just in this country. | ||
| Thousands. | ||
| And there's only a certain amount of comedians. | ||
| There's plenty of room for everybody. | ||
| Well, what I love about all you guys doing the podcast and blowing up, it's Jason Segel. | ||
| I used to interview him a lot when he was making movies and stuff. | ||
| And he said, the thing about Judd Apatow is after Freaks and Geeks, Judd basically made his own network. | ||
| James Franco and those guys, and they supported each other no matter what. | ||
| And I see that same thing happening now, and it's good with comedians. | ||
| Comedians are pairing up and saying, this is our group, and if you're funny, you're funny, and let's watch each other's back instead of competing. | ||
| I've only been in it nine years. | ||
| I know you've been in it a lot longer. | ||
| But my nine years, I saw at the beginning a lot of hate. | ||
| And now I'm seeing people like now jump on each other's podcasts and actually encourage each other and push each other, which I think is a great shift for comedy right now. | ||
| Well, that's the big difference between podcasts and radio, because radio guys always hated other radio guys. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They always thought of other radio guys like, "I want that morning spot. | ||
| This guy's going to try to steal it from me. | ||
| He's across town. | ||
| Fuck him." Yeah. | ||
| Podcasts don't do that. | ||
| We get on each other's podcasts, and we support each other's podcasts. | ||
| It's like, there's plenty of people, man. | ||
| Famine mentalities would have fucked everybody up. | ||
| It is, but that's what Hollywood puts out there. | ||
| It's just the circumstances. | ||
| It's not like it's an organized effort. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| To put out there this famine mentality. | ||
| It's just that this, there was a, like we were talking about earlier, like if you're an actor, you gotta hope somebody's got something that you fit into. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So all the other dudes that are like you, man, you're competing against them. | ||
| And then, you know, you hear fucking some James Franco type dude got the role. | ||
| You're like, of course. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's famous. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| I can't, I'm never gonna catch a break. | ||
| And this is the feeling that a lot of like really depressed actors have. | ||
| Well, it's interesting because I was up for this huge hosting gig like last year and looked like I was going to get it. | ||
| And then the night before, they said, oh, we gave it to this... | ||
| You know me, Joe. | ||
| I'm very safe. | ||
| I'm still trying to make it like you. | ||
| And then my agent goes, you don't sound upset. | ||
| I was like, no. | ||
| Because the way I'm wired is, I need to get to that level where I'm getting jobs I don't deserve. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So you're saying he doesn't deserve it. | ||
| I see why you wouldn't say his name. | ||
| So you're playing it safe, but you're not. | ||
| Because he knows who he is. | ||
| And he's out there listening to you right now. | ||
| But when they say you're better in the audition to him, you did this better. | ||
| That's what they said about you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| That's what they're telling me. | ||
| But your agents are telling you. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| The casting people are telling me this. | ||
| Are they trying to fuck you? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you sure? | |
| I'm positive. | ||
| I'm positive. | ||
| So when I get to that point, I'm just like, I reversed it. | ||
| I was like, dude, when you get to a certain level, you get shit you don't necessarily... | ||
| He probably didn't even know he was going out for the show. | ||
| They were like, hey, we got a new contract, and we heard you could do it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah, maybe. | ||
| But that's this industry. | ||
| Once you get to a certain point, you get gigs. | ||
| You start getting things. | ||
| Once your podcast blew up... | ||
| People send you stuff. | ||
| And that's how this whole thing works. | ||
| And so my mentality is I need to get to that point where people start giving me things. | ||
| And that means working harder. | ||
| Okay, great. | ||
| Working harder. | ||
| Building my brand. | ||
| Doing stand-up. | ||
| I'll do that. | ||
| Don't ever say building your brand. | ||
| Don't say that ever again. | ||
| Building my brand? | ||
| Don't do it. | ||
| That's some nonsense talk that they throw around. | ||
| Brand? | ||
| You're building your brand, man. | ||
| Hey, dude, I really love what you're doing with your brand. | ||
| That's like a Hollywood thing that they say. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is it? | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I love what you're doing with your brand. | ||
| Ew! | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| You don't think a brand is real? | ||
| Well, brands are real. | ||
| I'm wearing Converse sneakers. | ||
| Those are real. | ||
| See, to me, when I hear... | ||
| Actually, I'm wearing Under Armour. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I lied. | ||
| The Rock. | ||
| You're always supporting the Rock. | ||
| There's Cam Haynes. | ||
| My buddy Cam Haynes sent me these. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| I wear them. | ||
| They're nice. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| I like them. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| But your podcast is a brand. | ||
| I don't think of it that way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| No. | ||
| But it is. | ||
| Well, whether you think about it or not, it is. | ||
| Joe Rogan experience is a brand. | ||
| But building my brand, like, literally, there's zero thought of that. | ||
| Okay, gotcha. | ||
| You know? | ||
| You're just doing you. | ||
| I just do what I want to do. | ||
| Hey, man, just be yourself. | ||
| You can just be yourself. | ||
| It's possible. | ||
| Like, I am absolutely just doing that. | ||
| You know, I'm just really lucky that there's a slot, right? | ||
| Like, that I have interests that are, like, that I can, like, like... | ||
| The fact that I do stand-up comedy, I also do cage-fighting commentary. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's not supposed to exist, right? | ||
| But you created it. | ||
| But it exists because there's a slot. | ||
| I got lucky that there was a slot there. | ||
| You know, that this exists. | ||
| This sport exists, and I have an understanding of it, and a deep appreciation for it. | ||
| And then the comedy exists, too. | ||
| And I like that, too. | ||
| Like, you don't have to do comedy. | ||
| Nobody has to do comedy. | ||
| But for me, it was like, oh, like, you could do that? | ||
| But isn't it amazing, like, when... | ||
| Like, what... | ||
| I'll be honest with you. | ||
| When I came on the show, I was like, oh my god, this is such a big show. | ||
| It's a huge show. | ||
| People get nervous. | ||
| I talk to a lot of people that come on the first time. | ||
| People get nervous coming to the show. | ||
| That's why we got all that booze over there. | ||
| But what's amazing is, do you ever think about, like, if somebody's on your show literally... | ||
| Whatever they're selling. | ||
| Or, like, you'll get somebody on this show that becomes a regular, and now they're selling out all across the country. | ||
| And that's pretty amazing, the power that you hold. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Which is great. | ||
| Which blows me away that, you know, like, the last time I saw that, I remember, you know, I was at Chelsea Lately at the beginning of it. | ||
| And when that show was at its peak, I say Chelsea Lately, Chelsea Handler, was the American idol of comedy. | ||
| If you were on that show, I didn't even do stand-up. | ||
| Literally, I was three months in. | ||
| I would bring five comedians and do 15 minutes in between everybody and sell out shows because I was on that show. | ||
| That's how much power. | ||
| She brought comedians that were retired back. | ||
| That was the first time I saw one show could be so powerful in a niche audience where if you love comedy, You're going to sell out all these people's shows while it's hot. | ||
| And now it seems like this show is that comedians come on here, and they're just selling out all over the place. | ||
| And that's a tribute to you, man, and your audience, how they're so passionate about you. | ||
| And I'm not here to kiss your ass. | ||
| Well, it's just not bullshitting people and not having people on that suck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, doing your best. | ||
| Like, I try to go after, like, to get guys on. | ||
| Like, guys that I don't know, I hear about them. | ||
| You know, like Andrew Schultz or Tim Dillon. | ||
| I hear about these guys from New York, and people tell me, hey, you gotta see this guy. | ||
| This guy's fucking funny. | ||
| Joe List. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| A lot of people told me, get these guys on. | ||
| And, you know, look, I'm a... | ||
| Whatever I can do to support comedy, I'm a fan. | ||
| I'm a fan of comedy. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Even if I was never doing it, even if I've decided right now I don't ever want to tell jokes on stage ever again, I will always watch. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I love stand-up. | ||
| I'll always love stand-up. | ||
| So if I can do something that helps stand-up and helps comedians be successful and helps encourage more people to try it because I think there's thousands and thousands of just... | ||
| Unexplored stand-ups across the country. | ||
| They just never take a chance, never do it, never have anybody encourage them, never think about doing it. | ||
| Have you ever been on stage? | ||
| I think it's a superpower. | ||
| I really do, because your senses are so high. | ||
| I've never been in a situation where when you're on stage, you're saying your act, you're thinking about something else, you're hearing conversations, like you're hearing a waitress take an order, and you're noticing what people are doing. | ||
| It's almost like an out-of-body experience. | ||
| I can't think of any other normal time throughout the day that would ever happen where it's pretty amazing what your mind can do when you're on stage. | ||
| But you have to train it. | ||
| That's one of the reasons why I have to do so much stand-up. | ||
| Even for me, after 30 years of doing it, I still have to do stand-up four days a week. | ||
| I do stand-up four days a week. | ||
| If I take a week off, that's fine. | ||
| Nothing wrong with it. | ||
| I'll take a month off. | ||
| Nothing wrong with that. | ||
| But understand that when it's time to roll again, we're going four days a week. | ||
| We're going to do two, three shows a night. | ||
| You're going to go Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, or you're going to do Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. | ||
| That's what you're doing, and that's the only way to do it. | ||
| Because if you don't do it that way, and you don't do three sets a night, two sets a night, four sets a night... | ||
| If you don't do that, you never stay. | ||
| You've got to get laser beam sharp. | ||
| And the only way to get that honed fucking samurai sword edge, you've got to constantly be doing it. | ||
| It's that thing that you're doing where you're talking about hearing all these things, but concentrating on what you're saying and being in the moment, which is the most critical, because they know when you're not in the moment. | ||
| They somehow or another know when you're... | ||
| You can say the same words with the same inflection, and it won't work. | ||
| That's what's amazing about it, though. | ||
| That's what I love about it. | ||
| I love how you could do two sets in a night and get a totally different reaction. | ||
| It's so exciting. | ||
| I was talking to Darnell Rollins. | ||
| He was talking about one night he had a great set, and the next one he didn't have too good of a set. | ||
| He says, I went to a grocery store and got on the mic just to get a laugh. | ||
| I just needed that. | ||
| He's like, I need to get on a mic. | ||
| I need to get one last. | ||
| Because you can't go to bed on a bad show. | ||
| Donnell is amazing on podcasts. | ||
| I'd try to talk him into doing a podcast. | ||
| Oh, he would be so good. | ||
| He's starting it. | ||
| He's already got a logo. | ||
| He calls it Too Soon with Donnell Rawls because half his shit... | ||
| He is so funny, man. | ||
| He's such a character. | ||
| He's such a good dude, too. | ||
| Just like a good dude. | ||
| You know who's a person that... | ||
| I know you're so established now and you got your crowd, but who's a person that after they go on, you're like, oh shit, I gotta bring it. | ||
| Is that still that for you? | ||
| Because your crowd is so... | ||
| I think about it with everybody. | ||
| But I don't think about it in terms of like, oh shit. | ||
| I like comedy. | ||
| This is the key to following people. | ||
| Like comedy. | ||
| Enjoy it. | ||
| Go on stage happy. | ||
| Like you're laughing. | ||
| And then do your stuff because you're working on it anyway. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| Right? | ||
| If you take enough time and enough effort and enough care on your craft and put together an act that's good, the people are going to enjoy it. | ||
| So don't worry. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Enjoy. | ||
| That's why I brought Joey Diaz on the road with me for so many years. | ||
| Because I knew that he was just going to erupt that place. | ||
| And by the way, when I went on stage, they were already in a great mood. | ||
| They're all laughing. | ||
| They're laughing hard. | ||
| The key is just everybody should have a good time, man. | ||
| Everybody, including your opening act and the middle act. | ||
| You want murderers to go on in front of you. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| The comics I bring aren't as well known yet, but Leo Flowers, Nick Garrett, Orlando Labo. | ||
| But I tell you, any room they crush. | ||
| They crush. | ||
| There's only one way for great comics to get great. | ||
| It's like playing on a good basketball team. | ||
| They gotta see them. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| There's a lot of guys out there that people just haven't seen, but they're good. | ||
| And I love coming in after Energy. | ||
| What about the first time you went after a big comic when you were first starting and you did well and it kind of blew you away? | ||
| I don't even know when that happened. | ||
| I ate shit for so many years. | ||
| That's all I remember. | ||
| I remember eating shit after every one good I didn't have one good set for, like, Mitzi used to set me up, too. | ||
| She would do it on purpose. | ||
| She would put you, like, when I was... | ||
| On the four spot. | ||
| In my 20s, I was young, little cutie face, and I would go on after fucking murderers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, Martin Lawrence, when he was in his prime. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Dude, when he was wearing leather jumpsuits on stage. | ||
| Yes, and leather shirts. | ||
| Murk in the room. | ||
| I mean, murk in the room. | ||
| Where people are falling out of chairs and throwing drinks at each other. | ||
| They couldn't even handle it. | ||
| Martin Lawrence was an assassin. | ||
| It was like church. | ||
| He was an assassin, man. | ||
| I'm telling you, people forgot how good he was for a few years. | ||
| There was a few years where Martin Lawrence was nuking crowds, just like, boom! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I would get on after him, and literally people would just, three quarters of the audience would go. | ||
| Get up and walk. | ||
| When he was off, they were done. | ||
| They were done. | ||
| They were ready to go home. | ||
| They were crying. | ||
| They were holding their body like, oh Jesus. | ||
| And then I would get on and say some nonsense and be like, let's get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Let's go eat. | ||
| And they would just leave. | ||
| And that was the reality of my time at the comedy store. | ||
| Where Mitzi would, she wanted you to know, you ain't shit. | ||
| Don't get crazy. | ||
| And you gotta figure out, how the fuck can you go on after all these murders? | ||
| Well, when did you figure it out? | ||
| It took a long time. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| When I came here, I was only six years into comedy. | ||
| I didn't have any seasoning. | ||
| I was really like a scrub. | ||
| I had some material. | ||
| I could do an hour on the road, but half of it was bullshit. | ||
| I was trying to figure it out. | ||
| I had a few good bits, but they weren't good enough, and I didn't have the confidence to go on after a Martin Lawrence or a Dice Clay or anybody who was really good. | ||
| Anybody who was really famous, I would get nervous, like, Jesus. | ||
| But through that, I figured out a way to do it. | ||
| I figured out a way, like, okay, I have to figure out a way to grab people and let them know that I know the situation. | ||
| Like, oh, this unknown fucking loser has to follow Martin Lawrence. | ||
| What a thrill! | ||
| What a thrill for me, watching everybody get up. | ||
| And so I developed material for, like, bombing. | ||
| Like, inevitable bombing and recognizing the bombing and addressing it with all the rest of the audience. | ||
| And then people started laughing. | ||
| I had to follow Pryor for five weeks in a row at the Comedy Store when he was really sick. | ||
| And, um, uh, the late great Marilyn Martinez, her husband, um, and Chewy, who was the door guy at the comic store, used to help Richard Pryor to the stage, and it would take forever, because they would walk him, you know, losing control of his body, and, um, they sat him down, and they would crank the microphone up to, like, as loud as it goes, so it was like, he would hear the feedback, like, shh! | ||
| And he would drink, probably wasn't supposed to be doing, because he was on medication, just drinking and just talking. | ||
| And a lot of it was really sad, because you realize, like, wow, this is the greatest comic of our time. | ||
| I mean, he's on the wall here in the studio. | ||
| I mean, if he's not the greatest ever, he's certainly in the conversation. | ||
| It's like, who's the greatest? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But there's a handful of, like, super important pioneers. | ||
| There's Lenny Bruce, and there's Richard Pryor. | ||
| Those are the two top In my opinion, those are the ones that are the most important for the art form. | ||
| There's obviously George Carlin and Kinnison and Go Down the Line and Eddie Murphy, who we're talking about before the show, too. | ||
| Still, to this day, I think was one of the all-time greats. | ||
| Well, I was telling you before, I got a chance to talk to Eddie like two years ago. | ||
| He came out with a serious movie, more dramatic. | ||
| I forgot the name of it, but it was really good. | ||
| And I asked him, you know, being a comedy, I was like, why haven't you shot another special? | ||
| And he goes, I have to put too much of my personal life in it, and I'm not ready to do that yet. | ||
| And it kind of hit me where, you know, if you go back and listen to his comedy, he talked about his real life. | ||
| He talked about his parents. | ||
| He did a lot of what Richard Pryor did. | ||
| You know, he's very personal. | ||
| And you got to remember, Eddie Murphy, a lot's gone on in his life over the last 15, 20 years. | ||
| And I think if he didn't address things when he hit the stage, people go, why didn't he talk about that? | ||
| Where Chris Rock... | ||
| And Kevin Hart, they will address whatever story's out about them and go full steam ahead. | ||
| And I think Eddie Murphy probably respects the craft too much, where he's like, I can't do it halfway. | ||
| If I'm not going to do 100%, I'm not going to do it. | ||
| That's what I took from that conversation from him. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| And also, just think about it. | ||
| He has two of the best specials probably ever made back then. | ||
| Like, the two biggest, where everybody still knows. | ||
| Like, people still can say... | ||
| Now that's a fire! | ||
| Now that's a fire! | ||
| You know, like, people still quote... | ||
| Those two. | ||
| I've been looking at you. | ||
| Yeah, look, he's an all-time great, even if he never does a joke again, but he still got it. | ||
| That's what's crazy. | ||
| 100% he got it. | ||
| Did you ever see that thing that he did where he was roasting Bill Cosby when they took away his honorary degree? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Dude, his timing was sharp. | ||
| Like, you were like, oh my god, he could go do stand-up right now. | ||
| But the pressure of that. | ||
| Because he has two specials. | ||
| It's kind of like I compared to Dr. Dre. | ||
| After Dr. Dre made the crown, they always said, oh, he's going to come out with another one. | ||
| And then it got to a point where, how do you back up? | ||
| I mean, the greatness of those two specials? | ||
| I mean, it's a lot to live up to. | ||
| Not saying he ever couldn't, but people are always going to say, man, you remember Delirious and Raw? | ||
| I wish he was like that. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And I think that's the fear. | ||
| I mean, maybe. | ||
| I mean, you can make that argument about a lot of guys that did keep going. | ||
| You know? | ||
| You can make that argument about a lot of guys who had like really good. | ||
| But those guys that kept going have a delirious raw? | ||
| You know, like two that were that – like I remember the first time going to a movie theater to see a stand-up comedy special. | ||
| Two times. | ||
| Delirious and raw. | ||
| Who does that? | ||
| Kevin Hart does it, but that was my first, oh my god, Eddie Murphy on the big screen. | ||
| And those are locked in the history of time. | ||
| People are going to know those two stand-up specials. | ||
| For Raw, for sure. | ||
| Delirious, I think, was on HBO, wasn't it? | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| Was Ra? | ||
| I think Delirious was on HBO. Was it? | ||
| I think it was an HBO special. | ||
| All I remember is- And I think Ra was in the movies. | ||
| Ra, okay. | ||
| So Ra was in the movies, but it's a kid like me going to the movies to see it. | ||
| And he was so big at the time. | ||
| And just to follow those up- That might have been part of the problem with him too. | ||
| He might have got too big. | ||
| That happens to certain comedians. | ||
| Like that happened to Steve Martin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know, Steve Martin talked about that. | ||
| I mean, I don't think either one of us is ever going to understand how famous Eddie Murphy is. | ||
| Like what it's like to be Eddie Murphy. | ||
| At that time? | ||
| No. | ||
| But even now, man, people see him and they get weirded out. | ||
| I got weirded out when I met him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They put it in theaters four years after it aired on HBO. Delirious? | |
| Yeah, I did see it in theaters. | ||
| Dice Clay had an HBO or a movie theater film. | ||
| He did a... | ||
| I misread that. | ||
| Oh, didn't he? | ||
| Dice Clay had a movie theater one Gabriel Iglesias has done one that's been in the movies. | ||
| Of course, Kevin Hart has. | ||
| There's been a few guys that have done them in the movies. | ||
| But, yeah. | ||
| But I remember, like, you know, Kevin Hart's was great. | ||
| But for some reason, maybe because I was a kid, it was so big to me. | ||
| But to me, it was like an event. | ||
| You know, I'm older now. | ||
| I'll go to see Kevin Hart in a movie theater. | ||
| But when I was a kid, stand-up was an event. | ||
| Especially like that. | ||
| Yeah, because you're hearing curse words. | ||
| You're hearing all these. | ||
| To this day, still reciting stuff from it. | ||
| And that's a lot of comedy specials. | ||
| You don't know the words 30 years later. | ||
| Yeah, well, the first special I ever saw, for sure, was Richard Pryor, Live in the Sunset's Trip. | ||
| My parents took me to see it. | ||
| You were there? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I watched it in the movie theater. | ||
| Oh, okay, okay. | ||
| No, I was watching it in the movie theater. | ||
| My parents took me. | ||
| And I couldn't believe it. | ||
| Like, I had never seen anything that funny. | ||
| I couldn't imagine it. | ||
| It's so hard today for anyone to understand what it was like to hear that stuff back in, what was it, 79 or some shit? | ||
| When was live on the Sunset's trip? | ||
| Dude, that bear joke. | ||
| How about the fire? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fire is inspirational! | |
| I mean, go on! | ||
| Dude, he was doing jokes about burning himself, and we were crying laughing. | ||
| Same year as Delirious. | ||
| What year is it? | ||
| Released in 83. Was it really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Live in the Sunset Trip was 83. Because Live in the Sunset Trip was 83. Taped in 82. Okay, so I was 13. That makes sense. | ||
| He had to tape it twice. | ||
| No, I wasn't 13. I was like 16. What was I? 84, 85, 15. I was 15 years old. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| I was nine. | ||
| So I saw both of those movies. | ||
| And I remember... | ||
| Richard Pryor, I was like, wow, Eddie and Richard. | ||
| You could tell Eddie studied Richard because they had the same mannerisms. | ||
| A couple of the same jokes, too, just in a different way. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So, it was kind of a thing where... | ||
| I fell in love with Richard Pryor, because that was my first six, but I was nine. | ||
| I saw Sunset Strip, and then I saw the documentary where he had to shoot it two nights in a row. | ||
| The first night he bombed, and he told everybody to come back the next night, and that's the one they shot. | ||
| He shot it two nights in a row. | ||
| First one, he apologized to the crowd. | ||
| It wasn't going well. | ||
| And the second night, he said, y'all need to come back, and we're going to try this again. | ||
| Why would he want the same crowd? | ||
| Because he felt like he did a disservice to them. | ||
| But that's so weird. | ||
| They're going to hear the jokes again. | ||
| Are you sure that's true? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| It's in his documentary. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| You don't believe it? | ||
| I believe it. | ||
| Oh, shenanigans. | ||
| I mean, that's what was in the documentary. | ||
| Yeah, but a comic wouldn't want the same crowd to come back. | ||
| To hear the same material. | ||
| Unless he stopped it short. | ||
| Well, no, he didn't finish the show. | ||
| What was wrong with him? | ||
| He said he was just off. | ||
| It was him. | ||
| It was him. | ||
| And they were talking about the first 15 minutes of the set or 20 minutes of the set did not go well. | ||
| And he just stopped it and said, look, I'm not bringing it tonight. | ||
| It's off. | ||
| Y'all come back tomorrow night. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| And they kept the cameras and they shot it the next night. | ||
| And that's what you have. | ||
| So in 1983, I was either 14 or 15. Yeah, here it is. | ||
| It actually came out. | ||
| I'm sorry, it came out in 82. 82? | ||
| It released in Australia in 83. Okay, so if it was 82, that means I was 14. Yeah. | ||
| I was eight. | ||
| I was either 14 or 15, which makes sense. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is a fun fact. | |
| I definitely know it was pre-pussy for me. | ||
| Pryor lost his train of thought and forgot most of his material. | ||
| He apologized to the audience and ended the show early, leaving the audience angry. | ||
| Pryor pulled himself together and gave a much better performance the next night. | ||
| Most of the footage in the film was from the second performance. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Completely messed up his performance during the first filming of the show. | ||
| Yeah, but that doesn't say he brought the same audience back. | ||
| Well, in the documentary, he said... | ||
| That's what he said? | ||
| Well, because it was only one show. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| They didn't shoot two show specials. | ||
| Like, they only taped one night. | ||
| Well, he said they filmed one, and then they filmed it again. | ||
| Yeah, he filmed it again the next night. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So that crowd, I mean... | ||
| They get a crowd. | ||
| He can get a crowd anywhere. | ||
| In the documentary, it said he used the same crowd. | ||
| He told everybody, because he felt so bad that he cared. | ||
| That's crazy, though, that he just stopped the show. | ||
| He stopped the show. | ||
| It's so strange. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he brought... | ||
| What the documentary says, he brought the same crowd back the next night, and he murdered it. | ||
| And that's what you saw. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I still remember that. | ||
| I mean, those two, like, Raw, Delirious, and the Sunset Strip, forever it will stand out in my mind. | ||
| It's just amazing. | ||
| And then, like, Bill Burr's special, the black and white one. | ||
| It's, like, incredible. | ||
| Incredible. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And I just, I love watching comedy of people with jokes that I know I never could do. | ||
| Like, that's my whole thing. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I don't like watching, because I'm a family comedian, so I never watch, like, family comics. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| To me, I talk about family most of the time. | ||
| I don't curse that much. | ||
| How often do you curse? | ||
| In an hour show. | ||
| Twice? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Twice. | |
| Maybe. | ||
| What words do you use? | ||
| Shit? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You ever say fuck? | ||
| No. | ||
| No? | ||
| No. | ||
| But I don't curse in real life. | ||
| This freaking guy, do you ever say that? | ||
| No. | ||
| Don't say freaking, whatever you do. | ||
| Freaking. | ||
| That's more offensive to me than fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This freaking guy. | ||
| I'm sure I curse a couple times in this pod, but it's not in my normal conversation. | ||
| Even when I'm hanging out with my dudes, I don't really curse that much. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| And I'm sensitive. | ||
| It's a lot going on. | ||
| And I'm sensitive? | ||
| I have my kid. | ||
| I'm so sensitive, man. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Did you change? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It changes the shit out of you. | ||
| It's a biological change. | ||
| But you had girls? | ||
| All girls. | ||
| It's a recognition change. | ||
| You kind of understand life in a different perspective. | ||
| I don't know if it's really available to you if you don't have children. | ||
| I don't think it is. | ||
| I just think it's... | ||
| I don't think everybody has to have kids. | ||
| I'm not one of those zealots that says, if you don't have kids, you ain't shit. | ||
| I think that's offensive. | ||
| I don't think that's what life's all about. | ||
| I think you can affect people in a very meaningful way and never have kids, and there's nothing wrong with that. | ||
| But I think for me, at least, for being the caveman that I am, it's like it was very important for me to see these little girls grow up and become, you know, human beings that are interfacing with the world. | ||
| And getting an understanding of what that means and like realizing that if you can do just a little bit to make the world a slightly better place, that could greatly affect all the people that your own children will come in contact with as well. | ||
| And they can actually affect other people and have those other people treat the world in a different way and treat people with more respect and be nicer to people. | ||
| We could have a better world for everybody. | ||
| Your kids, my kids, everybody's kids. | ||
| The thing that struck me right away, as soon as my son was born, is... | ||
| I've never had the feeling of, I would die for him. | ||
| Like, as soon as I met him, you know, I would die for him. | ||
| As soon as he touched me. | ||
| It's like a goddamn Prince song. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, I would die for you. | |
| But it's like, Princess Christ. | ||
| Gone too soon. | ||
| Yeah, what about that guy, man? | ||
| God. | ||
| You want to talk about a super powerful fucking entertainer, one of a kind human being. | ||
| I remember I was a kid, I was delivering newspapers, I was driving around, and I listened to, I had a cassette of I Want to Be Your Lover, which is like his first big hit, and I was like, holy shit, listen to this guy. | ||
| Like, listen to this guy. | ||
| And the cover is just him with his long hair with no shirt on, looking beautiful. | ||
| And the cover is like, what is he? | ||
| Like, what is going on here? | ||
| And I was almost, you know, because I was like fucking 18 or something, I was almost like turned off by the cover. | ||
| That's it right there. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I was like, this is just, I'm not buying this. | ||
| He's just too beautiful. | ||
| He's dreamy. | ||
| Look at that goddamn mustache. | ||
| I'm having weird feelings right now. | ||
| And then I listened to, I would, you know, I mean, I listened to I Want to Be Your Lover and I was like, God damn, what an unusual dude. | ||
| Did you see Purple Rain? | ||
| I'm sure you did. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| Like, that whole Morris Day, Apollonia, like, I wanted to be Prince. | ||
| I bought an overcoat. | ||
| Just to wear a long overcoat so that some Prince would wear. | ||
| Were you too old for the Michael Jackson thing? | ||
| I had the Thriller jacket. | ||
| No, I didn't wear that. | ||
| I thought the Michael Jackson thing was interesting because I thought he's obviously a stunning, incredibly talented performer, but he was so weird and so unrelatable in every way. | ||
| So oddly feminine and childlike, even though he's in his 30s. | ||
| It was baffling to me. | ||
| I was like, I get that he's super talented, but to And then when the plastic surgery started happening, his face started changing and morphing. | ||
| I'm like, this is just strange. | ||
| Did you ever see either one in concert? | ||
| No, no, I never saw Michael Jackson or Prince. | ||
| I saw Prince. | ||
| That was an amazing show. | ||
| I had an opportunity to see Prince at the Hard Rock Cafe, and I blew it. | ||
| The Hard Rock in Vegas. | ||
| And I blew it. | ||
| I should have seen him. | ||
| I never thought he was going to die. | ||
| Yeah, and I'm seeing everybody now. | ||
| Yeah, you should. | ||
| Tom Petty is another one. | ||
| I never saw Tom Petty. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I went to one of those print shows at the Palladium like four years ago. | ||
| He did a random seven-night show. | ||
| There wasn't anybody there. | ||
| There was maybe 500 people there. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
The whole floor was empty. | |
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know why. | |
| I don't know if nobody knew or something they didn't announce at the right time or didn't make it to Twitter, whatever. | ||
| I only heard because my friend worked there. | ||
| That's the only reason I knew about him. | ||
| Well, I think when we're looking at Prince now, we're looking at Prince as like a dead legend. | ||
| I mean, he's a legend that's gone. | ||
| And we think of him as like, God damn it. | ||
| He was so good. | ||
| He had so many great songs. | ||
| But I think back then, people thought of him as an older guy that they didn't really care as much about anymore, who hasn't put out relatively popular music for quite a while. | ||
| He turned into an artist, I guess they could say, where the music was just for himself. | ||
| It was nothing new. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| It wasn't any new smash hits, you know? | ||
| It's like there's some guys, right, that, like, one of the things that keeps Kanye West relevant is that he's constantly putting out music. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He constantly puts out stuff that people love. | ||
| He constantly puts out stuff that smashes. | ||
| And some guys lose their enthusiasm for productivity. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| that and then they don't put out stuff anymore and then they become like Rod Stewart yeah Rod Stewart I'd like to see Rod Stewart I'm a giant Rod Stewart fan like it when Maggie Mae comes on the radio I get excited I love that goddamn song I love a lot of his music he's he was a but how many tickets we sell right now yeah i'm saying will he sell out the stable center i don't think he will you know you know when you i know you're still working on kanye coming on the show and they're not even though you're not okay i mean i would if he wants to do it but i don't want to put any pressure on anybody | ||
| absolutely and i don't necessarily know that podcasts are the best place for someone for It might not be the best place to just talk about shit. | ||
| Maybe it's better to just do music. | ||
| Did you get to talk to him at least on the phone? | ||
| Yeah, I talked to him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Very nice guy. | ||
| Let me tell you, man. | ||
| He is so opposite his persona on the outside that you see in gossip magazines and on TV. I used to host his Donda West Foundation event in Chicago. | ||
| And a lot of people don't know the good he did in Chicago. | ||
| If they had perfect attendance, he would go there every year, throw a huge concert, Bringing like Common and all different type of Chicago artists. | ||
| He would bus everybody in from all over the city and throw a free concert for all these kids that had perfect attendance. | ||
| And it was good to interview him that way because at that time, when his mom was still alive, he was such a down... | ||
| Down-to-earth, humble guy. | ||
| And actually, shy. | ||
| And shy. | ||
| Like, he was really shy. | ||
| And this was at the time I would see stories about him yelling at Sway. | ||
| And I'm like, this is not the dude that I interviewed. | ||
| He's volatile. | ||
| He goes all over the place. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's part of why he's such an explosive artist. | ||
| Oh, he's incredible. | ||
| Incredible. | ||
| Those guys, the people who think different, remember that stupid Apple ad, think different? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's people that really do think different. | ||
| Differently. | ||
| That's one of the problems with that Apple ad. | ||
| It's an incorrect grammar. | ||
| But there's people out there that just have a different vibe. | ||
| They're on a different frequency. | ||
| They're a different wavelength. | ||
| They're the ones who create great shit, man. | ||
| He has a gift. | ||
| I mean, he is... | ||
| You know, a lot of people outside go, oh, he's out there. | ||
| He's definitely out there, too, though. | ||
| He's out there, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But he's a genius. | ||
| He is a genius. | ||
| He's doing something in a different way. | ||
| And that moves our culture along. | ||
| That's what... | ||
| When you're doing stand-up, right? | ||
| If you're nailing something, if you really lock down something and boom, you put out a live on the Sunset Strip or a delirious or something like that, you're changing culture. | ||
| You're making people... | ||
| People are going to spread out in these ripples. | ||
| They're going to go to their job in the morning. | ||
| They're like, we saw Michael Yoho. | ||
| Holy shit, he does this joke about his cat. | ||
| Whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| Whatever the joke is. | ||
| And people be crying, laughing. | ||
| And there's ripples to that. | ||
| It's positive ripples. | ||
| You change things. | ||
| It's amazing that when you do stand up, what I love about it is when I was just a host doing the entertainment shows, I would go into castings. | ||
| And I'd go, oh, you're a host. | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
| Now, being a comedian, I will say that it's the most respected thing in our industry. | ||
| You have to have the most balls. | ||
| Yeah, I was on the set of Modern Family when the show was huge, and the actors were like, oh my god, you do stand-up, how do you do that? | ||
| And they're on the biggest television show at that time, Modern Family. | ||
| Even actors respected. | ||
| So, how castings have changed, I go in now, they go, oh, we saw you at the Improv, or we saw you here or there, and you can host, this is amazing! | ||
| So, just the respect you get From doing good comedy. | ||
| You know, it's better to me than a Taylor Swift on stage because she has a whole band. | ||
| She's having a bad night. | ||
| She can kind of like lip sync her songs. | ||
| I just saw a quote. | ||
| It says, Michael Yo says he's better than Taylor Swift and all she does is lip sync. | ||
| God damn him. | ||
| You know, when he was on E, he respected her and now that he's gone, he's flip flopping. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's flipped! | |
| He's flipped! | ||
| We gotta wrap this up, dude. | ||
| We already hit three hours. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| Stop it. | ||
| Three o'clock. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Three hours? | ||
| Three o'clock, bro. | ||
| No way. | ||
| It's three o'clock. | ||
| Goddamn time warp in this room. | ||
| Dude! | ||
| Michael Yo, that was a lot of fun, brother. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We'll do this again. | |
| Thank you so much, bro. | ||
| Thank you, my friend. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| Oh, tell people how to find you on Instagram, Twitter, all the jazz. | ||
| Everything at Michael Yo, that's Y-O, and my special is streaming free on Amazon Prime. | ||
| Right now. | ||
| Right now. | ||
| Go to it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Blazion. | |
| Everybody's got Prime. | ||
| Yeah, everybody's got Prime. | ||
| Check it out, man. | ||
| I would appreciate it. | ||
| Thank you, my friend. | ||
| That was fun. | ||
| I'm glad we did this. | ||
| Dude, me too, man. | ||
| Michael Yo, folks! |
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