Feb. 19, 2019 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:43:42
Participants
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Did things fall off? | ||
| Those pieces of shit. | ||
| See, this one, you're too fancy, bro. | ||
| Yeah, they get too fancy. | ||
| Eh, whatever. | ||
| We got another one. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Are we live already? | ||
| Whoops, sorry. | ||
| Cheers, sir. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| My pleasure, my pleasure. | ||
| Don't know, we were talking about the different kinds of comedians that there really are. | ||
| Like meme comedians, they're comedians. | ||
| They have a special skill set. | ||
| It's a different thing. | ||
| They have a special skill set. | ||
| In fact, one of my closest friends, Bearded Humor, he's like, I would say... | ||
| If he was a stand-up comic, he would probably be in my top five in terms of creativity, in terms of talking about things in the moment and just all out funny. | ||
| The skill set for stand-up now, it used to be, I started 25 years ago, it used to be the only way you proved yourself as a person with any type of comedic integrity while I was on stage standing flat-footed in front of an audience that you probably don't want you to be funny or have no idea you're going to be funny. | ||
| But these mean people in Photoshop, especially because our attention is so quick and so drawn to social media, I don't even know if people are as excited about stand-up as they used to be and now it's excited about what's going to be the newest thing, what's going to be the hottest photo to Photoshop and what's going to what's going to be the hottest photo to Photoshop and what's going to be Well, that's the easiest to get, right? | ||
| It's easier to get it on your phone. | ||
| You get those images, the photoshops and the memes that are funny that hit you immediately. | ||
| But I think right now, especially when you go to the store, don't you think there's more people interested in stand-up now than ever? | ||
| Yeah, but we're in a tricky place now. | ||
| People are interested in it. | ||
| But people are so, they're more critical of stand-up now more than ever. | ||
| There used to be a time when you could just say what you wanted and people would say that person was outspoken, outraged, but they were themselves. | ||
| But now you tell one joke, one blogger, one troller, Dissect your jokes and print your jokes. | ||
| Don't do the setup. | ||
| Don't do the callback. | ||
| Don't do the tag and next thing you know you offended somebody. | ||
| But I think with a lot of events that are happening now, comedy is going to start taking a shift back to people with honest voices. | ||
| I think so, too. | ||
| I think there's a direct backlash to political correct thinking and the type of policing that you're seeing. | ||
| I understand police and stuff in the Catholic Church, police and stuff in the regular church, but you go to a comedy club to police, you're in the wrong place. | ||
| And nine times out of ten, people that go to a comedy show, that walk out and protest, Their mindset was to protest before they even went there. | ||
| They're just waiting for the trigger where it's just like, well, I never, and they'll leave. | ||
| Well, it's a way to get a lot of attention. | ||
| You know, being outraged at something, especially if you kind of have a point, like if you could articulate that point, it's a great way to get attention. | ||
| With the people, the trollers and the people that... | ||
| Yeah, I mean, there's a giant market for that. | ||
| Like, if you think of, like, if you're a comic and you're a famous comic and you're outspoken, you know, and someone could take your bit and take it apart, like, They've done with Chappelle many times, right? | ||
| But Chappelle owns it so much. | ||
| He owns it. | ||
| I was just with him. | ||
| I've never seen a guy that flips our sets over. | ||
| Like, he's just writing another five-minute bit. | ||
| That's weird, right? | ||
| But the thing is now, I've watched some of his new stuff and things he's doing now. | ||
| He's going to lead the charge for comedians having their voice. | ||
| I did a show with him at the store recently. | ||
| And at the end of it, he said, comedians now more than ever... | ||
| You need to grab your balls because it's our job to talk about the things that are bad in this world. | ||
| And we are the best people for it. | ||
| Well, it's the last line of free speech. | ||
| It's the last real line of free speech because you don't have a real boss. | ||
| Like when you go on stage, no one gives you a single word of direction. | ||
| You know, that's a very unusual place to be in, in terms of entertainment. | ||
| And something that reaches, especially with someone like Dave, millions and millions and millions of people. | ||
| Every time he does a Netflix special, every time he does anything that's filmed, it's going to hit millions of people. | ||
| They have no one telling you what to do. | ||
| No one. | ||
| No one giving you any input. | ||
| And then when they try to tell you what to do, you resist it and you do what you want to do. | ||
| He's a real comic. | ||
| He's a real comic. | ||
| But you have that. | ||
| I've been following you for a while. | ||
| I've been a comedy store... | ||
| For years, I'm always in the cut. | ||
| And I've seen you do some material like, how the fuck does he get away with this? | ||
| I know how. | ||
| Because he fucking owns it. | ||
| I really believe what I'm saying in a lot of ways. | ||
| Like in other things, it's obvious that I don't really believe it. | ||
| But I'm saying it because I think it's funny. | ||
| And I think comedy is for us. | ||
| As much as people are like, oh, I need that left. | ||
| I think for comedians, it's therapeutic for us, too. | ||
| Yeah, it's 100%. | ||
| Can you imagine a situation? | ||
| You have an argument with your wife or somebody, and you can't go on stage that night just to talk about how pissed off she made you. | ||
| That's our outlet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So as much as people get stuff out of us, when you come to a show, we get now our psychiatric exam right on the spot. | ||
| Yeah, also, like, you could complain about some shit, right? | ||
| You can complain about someone saying something or something, or you could turn it into a bit, and you can get hundreds of people just dying laughing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I've had some conflicts online, one of them with a bunch of vegans. | ||
| Conflicts so you entertain somebody. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You try to be... | ||
| You're like, I don't got time for that. | ||
| I'm not going to entertain. | ||
| But every once in a while, you just want to punch a troll in the face. | ||
| I would read the comments. | ||
| That was the problem. | ||
| Occasionally, you read the comments and you're like, holy shit. | ||
| People just want you dead because... | ||
| Anyway, I had this whole thing in my act about chasing down the hashtag vegan cat. | ||
| Somebody wrote some mean shit to me and this hashtag vegan cat. | ||
| I was like, what the fuck is that? | ||
| I went there and there's a whole community of people feeding their cats vegetables. | ||
| But in doing this and tracking this down, it makes you realize, okay, I've got to write a bit about this because I could just get mad. | ||
| It's easy. | ||
| It writes itself. | ||
| It writes itself. | ||
| I could just get mad and be upset that someone's being mean to me or I could turn this shit into fuel. | ||
| Or you could just go fucking destroy the whole vegan community. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's that? | |
| There's nothing wrong with vegans. | ||
| The produce is the same shit as every other group. | ||
| I don't really know too many vegans that aren't assholes, bro. | ||
| I know some vegans that aren't assholes. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Rich Roll, he's a great guy. | ||
| John Joseph, he's a great guy. | ||
| Neil Brennan, he's a vegan. | ||
| He's an asshole. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's a little bit of an asshole. | |
| Oh man, Neil Brennan is a motherfucking prick. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's so funny, man. | |
| You can tell when people are turning to ass... | ||
| When the asshole is embodying him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Especially people who wear glasses because they have like a million different frames. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| That's when you're at the next level of being an asshole when you switch your glasses up. | ||
| But Neil Brennan is a vegan. | ||
| He's one of those. | ||
| I don't think vegans should be allowed to go to a barbecue. | ||
| And complain. | ||
| And complain. | ||
| They all come to a fucking barbecue. | ||
| They got their patties. | ||
| They're upset if you've been cooking meat on a grill that was designed to cook dead animals. | ||
| And they get upset. | ||
| So all vegans are assholes. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| It's not all of them. | ||
| But I see what you're saying. | ||
| All the ones that I know. | ||
| Because when they make their transition, they can't just become vegans. | ||
| They just got to let you know, I'm vegan now. | ||
| They can't wait until you say dinner. | ||
| Is it vegan options? | ||
| It's vegan, vegan. | ||
| They just can't do it. | ||
| They got to make an announcement. | ||
| They got to let everybody know that I'm a vegan now and I'm an asshole. | ||
| They think they're saving the world. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And the worst is a vegan that always gets colds. | ||
| Yo, whenever I see Neil Brennan coughing... | ||
| Whenever I see him call, I say, so how's that vegan life called? | ||
| You fucking flu-having ass motherfucker. | ||
| I always say that to Ian Edwards. | ||
| I'm like, dude, you look tired. | ||
| You look exhausted. | ||
| I take pictures of Ian every time we fly together and he falls asleep. | ||
| I take pictures of him. | ||
| Ian's just sitting there. | ||
| I'm like, look at Ian. | ||
| You need some motherfucking protein, man. | ||
| Get some goddamn B12 in your diet. | ||
| Get a steak in your motherfucking diet. | ||
| He said he would eat meat, but he would only eat elk that I killed. | ||
| He said he would eat some elk meat, so I'm going to cook him some elk meat. | ||
| We should film it. | ||
| He'll probably like bounce around like super person. | ||
| Like he's been eating nothing but lentils for the last 20 years. | ||
| Elk, where does one go to even shoot an elk? | ||
| Utah. | ||
| Colorado has a lot of them. | ||
| There's some of them in California. | ||
| How do you do that? | ||
| Transport. | ||
| Is there a loss? | ||
| Can you transport your kill or you have to break it down wherever you kill it? | ||
| You have to have... | ||
| First of all, you have a tag. | ||
| And then when you have a tag, you're allowed to get a certain kind of animal. | ||
| So let's say if it's like you have a buck deer tag, that means you can kill a male deer. | ||
| And then once you kill it, then you break it down and you either bring it to a butcher shop and they turn it into cuts for you or you could do it yourself and wrap it up. | ||
| But you have to have a tag. | ||
| You have to register that you killed that animal and you have to keep that with you, that paperwork with you. | ||
| So if you transport the meat across state lines and some game warden pulled you over and said, do you have a deer in your car? | ||
| And you go, yes, sir, do, sir. | ||
| He's got to see that you have the paperwork for it. | ||
| I don't want to sound racist at all, but I don't know a black person that could tell that story that you just told about killing people. | ||
| Butchering up and transporting a dead animal. | ||
| Yeah, that's what you have to do. | ||
| That's how you do it. | ||
| You've got to put them on ice. | ||
| You have an obligation to try to save the meat. | ||
| When you have an animal and it's down, you want to get it into a packaged form as quick as possible. | ||
| You want to break it down. | ||
| Dude, sometimes people hang things. | ||
| They hang things in their garage in the cold. | ||
| You mentioned the word hanging. | ||
| All I think about is Jesse Sumlin. | ||
| Oh my God! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Talk about setting a whole bunch of people back. | |
| In one interview! | ||
| Crazy story. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Such a mess. | ||
| It's a mess, and I think it was really awful about it because his story, it was like good and bad of it. | ||
| The good of it was when people thought that he was violated and he was a victim of a hate crime, it wasn't just gay people that was... | ||
| Rushing to support him. | ||
| It was like thug dudes. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It was like some real motherfuckers. | ||
| I mean, I saw Exhibit make a comment. | ||
| It was a community of people away from the LBG community that thought it was really fucked up. | ||
| And that was the beauty of the incident because it kind of brought people together. | ||
| But the thing about it, it was just a lie. | ||
| And it's so fucking unfortunate. | ||
| It's so unfortunate somebody would play on people's emotions or to benefit themselves. | ||
| It's awful. | ||
| Well, there's a certain narcissism that exists in show business that I think you and I both know very well. | ||
| You know, we've all seen it. | ||
| Thankfully, the people that seem to be the best, for whatever reason, they have some of the best handles on it. | ||
| Like, Dave doesn't show any of that. | ||
| But there's some people that do. | ||
| And that narcissism is weird, that wanting it to be all about them, and they'll do sneaky shit like fake and attack. | ||
| Like, that's a symptom of that same kind of thinking. | ||
| It just got desperate and went in some crazy way. | ||
| It was awful for some reason because you have people like, when that first went down, you have people that normally, people that you look at, okay, that's my friend or whoever, you've started having side eyes and that's just, it's just, it's so messed up and I think also it's messed up as much as people rode for him when they thought that it was an injustice or anything, nobody's really talking about it. | ||
| Nobody's addressing it like, you know, this is our movement, these are things that we're trying to progress toward, but this was an isolated incident and just Say how awful it was. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, the beautiful thing is that people are way more tolerant than they ever have been before. | ||
| The also beautiful thing is attack didn't happen, right? | ||
| So we don't have to think of one more atrocious thing that people have done to another person for no reason. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So that's good. | ||
| And it's also good that you get to see where that kind of stuff heads, where you're always looking to be a victim, to the point where you realize there's some sort of currency in being a victim, so people fake being a victim, so they can get all this fucking attention. | ||
| It's good for us. | ||
| It's good for us to see, because you see that. | ||
| Now, next time a story comes around that's just a little fishy... | ||
| You're going to second guess it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| It's like the boy who cried wolf, and that's what's unfortunate about it, because anytime someone says that they were a victim of such a heinous crime like that, you want to believe them. | ||
| You want to believe them the minute they say it. | ||
| But with this incident, it makes you start second-guessing, and that's another thing that was awful about the whole thing. | ||
| And all the smoke he's getting right now that he deserves, because I've been tearing his ass up on Instagram, on everything. | ||
| He deserves every bit of it. | ||
| He knows he deserves it. | ||
| Everybody knows he deserves it. | ||
| I read a story once about this dude who said that he punished his daughter by making her sit in the backyard by a tree and then he went out there an hour later and she was gone. | ||
| And he suspected that coyotes got her. | ||
| And I remember thinking that story going, man, that just does not sound real. | ||
| That does not sound real. | ||
| It just seems weird. | ||
| This guy left a baby in the backyard and coyotes got it? | ||
| Like really? | ||
| Well, it was like a not walking or anything? | ||
| Well, he left the baby to punish the baby, like a two-year-old. | ||
| Well, it turns out he really didn't do that. | ||
| The kid died and he had stuffed it in some drainage ditch somewhere. | ||
| I don't remember how the kid died and what was the reason for it, but it was one of those stories where you hear the story like, Jesus, this doesn't sound real. | ||
| Sometimes stories don't sound real. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The next thing, we're going to be second-guessing everything. | ||
| Well, I hope not. | ||
| But when it first went down, I thought it was a situation where Lee Daniels and Jesse sat down in a writer's room. | ||
| And Lee Daniels is like, anybody got any ideas for any new episodes? | ||
| It's just like, I got one. | ||
| Nobody's ever going to believe it. | ||
| Look, I'm going to be hungry as shit, right? | ||
| I'm going to go to Subway to get a 12-inch footlong. | ||
| And Lee Daniels is like, I believe that. | ||
| I believe that part. | ||
| And then he went through the whole story. | ||
| And Lee Daniels said to him, nobody's going to believe it. | ||
| Jesse got upset and told Lee Daniels, we'll see. | ||
| I'm going to shoot it myself. | ||
| And he walked himself into that whole scenario. | ||
| And it's just awful. | ||
| That's entirely possible. | ||
| That's what it sounds like. | ||
| It sounds like it. | ||
| Now anybody that was a fan of Empire, which I know a lot of people that's listening were... | ||
| Being very sarcastic when I say that. | ||
| They're going to be like second-guess the storyline of so many of those shows. | ||
| The storylines of everybody who ever said that they were done wrong or anything. | ||
| The awful thing about this is now people are going to be ready and quick to just second-guess anything that you say. | ||
| Yeah, that's a fact. | ||
| Until we can read each other's minds, until we can find out for sure. | ||
| That's going to change the whole game. | ||
| Being able to read somebody's minds? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's definitely going to eliminate a lot of street fights. | ||
| Most of them. | ||
| I mean, you talk about your imminent danger senses are going to be 100% if you can read somebody's mind. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know if I would want to do that. | ||
| I do. | ||
| I like having secrets. | ||
| I'm all in. | ||
| I like having secrets, too, but I like going all in. | ||
| I think all in. | ||
| I think it's just inevitable. | ||
| We were talking about it in the last podcast about there's something they're going to be able to shoot into your neck. | ||
| What did he say? | ||
| The way he described it? | ||
| Yeah, like an injection that will take over, sort of. | ||
| Well, the way it interacts with your brain cells. | ||
| Thread. | ||
| Yeah, thread itself into your brain cells. | ||
| So literally, I think we're going to have built-in Wi-Fi internet systems where we're connected to each other's heads. | ||
| So this is what people request. | ||
| So it's like a study they're going to try out on people. | ||
| Or you could just go to your doctor and say, shoot me with the brain shit. | ||
| I think eventually it's going to be shoot me with the brain shit. | ||
| First, you've got to get it on a clinical trial. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But who do you get for that? | ||
| Like, heroin addicts or crackheads? | ||
| Who do you get for that? | ||
| Like, who is close to no brain cells and shit? | ||
| And that's the one we tried on. | ||
| What was that movie? | ||
| There was a movie where a dude got shot and they put some chip in his back... | ||
| Upgrade. | ||
| Upgrade, yeah. | ||
| And it did that to him. | ||
| He had access to all the information. | ||
| He knew martial arts. | ||
| He knew how to move. | ||
| And everything was happening. | ||
| He was basically like a supercomputer inside of a person that could do everything. | ||
| Artificial intelligence is right down the line. | ||
| Dude, they're talking about this shit, shooting it into your brain. | ||
| We're going to share a network. | ||
| We're all going to be on a network together. | ||
| Well, there's going to be a lot of white people joining that effort because black people don't fuck with needles, bruh. | ||
| We don't do none of that. | ||
| Unless it's heroin, we don't take out needles like that, bro. | ||
| I'm telling you, you say that, but how many athletes are on steroids? | ||
| Yeah, but that's a different animal. | ||
| I'm talking about the average black dude, Brooklyn, Brownsville, or Watts, or something like that. | ||
| Yo, I got this new brain shit we ejected through a needle. | ||
| They're gonna fuck you up. | ||
| They don't wanna hear that shit. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| And that's probably true. | ||
| I mean, how many people are gonna try that? | ||
| Like, who's gonna be the earliest adopter getting a shot in your neck that lets you read everybody's mind? | ||
| And then what are you going to do with it? | ||
| It's an interesting thing. | ||
| It's going to fuck our job up, man. | ||
| Because like half of what we do is say shocking shit that people know is kind of true, but you can't believe you're saying it. | ||
| And then you'll have people in the audience like, oh, not the old Winter's Subway joke coming up. | ||
| If you could do that, that'd be the ultimate fucking joke hater right there. | ||
| Oh, yeah! | ||
| Two guys walk in a bar. | ||
| You don't got anything other than that? | ||
| Nah, I think I'll have to pass on that. | ||
| Keep it, bro. | ||
| Yeah, it's going to be weird. | ||
| When would you get it? | ||
| Would you want to be the first comedian to have it? | ||
| No. | ||
| You almost want to be a fool who doesn't have it. | ||
| If you want to be a comedian, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I want to watch other motherfuckers do it first. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, yeah. | |
| I'll sit in the back. | ||
| But the problem is they're going to fucking take over finances instantly. | ||
| As soon as they upload their brand, they're like, I'm just going to get all this money. | ||
| I'm going to figure out a way to get all this fucking money. | ||
| And then by the time you shoot it into your head, they've already got the system locked down. | ||
| But see, you have a different level of people that you hang out with because your level of... | ||
| Your level would be like, how are we going to get the money? | ||
| But my level would be like, yo, we got this brain shit. | ||
| How are we going to get some ass off of this, dawg? | ||
| You can get it. | ||
| You'll be more clever. | ||
| If you can read a broad mind, you get all the ass you want. | ||
| All of it. | ||
| Yeah, you would know. | ||
| But then it wouldn't be fun. | ||
| Like, half the fun is not knowing if somebody likes you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You don't know, well, what's going to happen here? | ||
| Is this going to work out? | ||
| How was that movie with Mel Gibson? | ||
| Or he could read women's minds. | ||
| What women want. | ||
| And they remade it right now. | ||
| It's coming out. | ||
|
unidentified
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Really? | |
| I've seen the billboard with Taraji Henson and Tracy Morgan. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Tracy Morgan. | ||
| I had a conversation with Mel Gibson the other day on the phone. | ||
| It was one of the weirdest things in my life. | ||
| I'm just happy to know I have friends that can say that. | ||
| So you have a lot of sentences my friends can't use. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, you know how you kill an elk? | |
| All right, here's the difference between a buck and so-and-so. | ||
| You got a trigger one time. | ||
| And then it's like, oh, it accounts. | ||
| Yeah, so I'm on the phone with Mel Gibson the other day. | ||
| I was on the phone with Ray Ray the other day. | ||
| Well, I'd rather be on the phone with Ray Ray. | ||
| But it's not bad to talk to Mel Gibson. | ||
| It's just, it's like, okay. | ||
| He's a regular, he's a dude. | ||
| He's a guy. | ||
| He's Mel Gibson. | ||
| He's Mel Gibson. | ||
| But you go like, fucking for real? | ||
| Like you're talking to him, you're like, for real? | ||
| Is there a real conversation with Mel Gibson? | ||
| Yeah, that would be very interesting. | ||
| And I've never run into him. | ||
| He's a super nice guy. | ||
| He did a podcast to talk about the stem cell doctor that helped his dad. | ||
| Oh yeah? | ||
| He came on for Dr. Neil Reardon. | ||
| He's this guy in Dallas that treats people down in Panama. | ||
| He's got this radical stem cell therapy that you can't get in America. | ||
| And it fixed. | ||
| Mel Gibson's dad was 92 and he was in a wheelchair. | ||
| And now he's 100 and he's walking around. | ||
| What's the issue with stem cell situation in America? | ||
| Because I don't hear too much. | ||
| The last time, and I'm not probably as knowledgeable as you are, but wasn't Christopher Reeve trying to... | ||
| I'm sure he was. | ||
| Yeah, he had that spinal cord injury from a horse accident. | ||
| He was doing those horse jumps. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| South Park thing, remember? | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| They're eating dead babies to get the stem cells. | ||
|
unidentified
|
As soon as you said South Park, I was like, this is going to take a bad turn. | |
| Take a bad turn! | ||
| Yeah, maybe that episode about rape on South Park. | ||
| They don't give a fuck. | ||
| They're the best. | ||
| They're also pushing the boundaries. | ||
| They're the ones out there that are promoting ridiculous, preposterous comedy that's completely offensive but brilliant. | ||
| That's one of the things that when we were doing the Chappelle Show, the one of the things I appreciate more than anything about that show was how it brought people of all races, all backgrounds together to do the thing that we all should have in common and that's to laugh. | ||
| And also to not push the button but touch on racial stuff without having an angry undertone. | ||
| And that's what's so fucked up about America now. | ||
| Whenever you talk about race, it feels like one side, somebody has to be tense. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It's never like a comfortable state. | ||
| It's never like... | ||
| And I know things are intense, but we have to be able to laugh first. | ||
| Once you get people to laugh, you can talk about whatever you want. | ||
| And then even if a person is not in agreement or have the same thoughts... | ||
| At the end of the day, you should be able to respect that person, and I think those same people should be able to share a laugh. | ||
| Yeah, and there was a fun, silly, non-aggressive quality to the way you guys put together sketches that got the point across and everybody laughed. | ||
| Everybody laugh. | ||
| And when I draw to this day, when I travel, when I do my audiences, it's interesting because, of course, you would think I'm going to draw a certain audience because I'm black, which I am and I do. | ||
| But it's weird. | ||
| I could go to places and it's straight up like Dave called them the muddy boot motherfuckers. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like the money booth motherfuckers, the money booths, they got John Deere. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| They know all that elk shit you talking about. | ||
| You know, them John Deeres know all that shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
John Deeres! | |
| They probably call up right now and say, no, Joe, I think you got that wrong. | ||
| You got to cut the heart from the instant. | ||
| You know you got to go left to right. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| And I've noticed I have those people. | ||
| And then I have hood people. | ||
| But it's just interesting when you can look out. | ||
| And this is what that show did. | ||
| When you can look out in the audience and you say you have all of America there. | ||
| It was the best sketch comedy show in the history of television, I think. | ||
| I think In Living Color is very, very, very overlooked. | ||
| People forget how goddamn groundbreaking. | ||
| And groundbreaking. | ||
| And both of them, like, wherever I go, people always... | ||
| They always bring it up. | ||
| It's a big point in my career. | ||
| But I was like, I don't know if it happens every 10 years, every 15 years. | ||
| It comes a time where the audience wants something different. | ||
| They sit the shit watered down. | ||
| Same way when They Live in Color. | ||
| Same way when Deaf Comedy Jam came out. | ||
| You know, you didn't see a lot of black stand-ups on TV, but they had this underground circuit that was bubbling, and it was the right time. | ||
| When they pulled out, it was the right time. | ||
| And Living Color comes around. | ||
| It's the right time. | ||
| The Dave Chappelle show comes around. | ||
| It's the right time. | ||
| The Richard Powers show, even though that only lasted three or four episodes, it was the right time, and it caught on at the right time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In terms of groundbreaking sketch comedy shows, though, that KKK bit where he had the blind... | ||
| Bruh, let me tell you something. | ||
| Do you understand? | ||
| In the history of sketch, nobody has premiered a sketch show and came off so hardcore the first night. | ||
| As hard as it comes. | ||
| When they ended that shit, when we asked why... | ||
| Why? | ||
| After all these years, it was like, because she's a nigger lover. | ||
| I was like, that was one of them, that was one of the joys. | ||
| I'm like, wake up everybody, no more sleeping in bed. | ||
| I knew from that moment that this show was going to be on the next level of shows. | ||
| Well, he was free. | ||
| It was so many, when we did, funny thing, a lot of things, I used to do, I was a warm-up comedian for a Chappelle show. | ||
| So whenever you saw a Chappelle show episode, and if you notice that whenever I came on screen, and I'm not being cocky, people would go nuts. | ||
| They'd be like, oh shit. | ||
| And the reason was because I was the guy that wanted the audience before Dave came out. | ||
| So I knew if I go gut the room out, At the beginning, people don't even... | ||
| Nobody knew who I was or anything. | ||
| If I ripped that at the beginning and then when they see me on the screen, it's going to be like... | ||
| It's going to be big. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| And that show, man, it was just like... | ||
| It was just... | ||
| A lot of things happened on that show. | ||
| People like the Rick James sketch. | ||
| The day we played that during the wraparounds, man, that shit hit so hard. | ||
| I was like... | ||
| This shit is fucking retarded. | ||
| The funny thing people don't know is that Comedy Central did not like that sketch. | ||
| Comedy Central didn't like the sketch and Comedy Central didn't think Charlie Murphy was funny in it. | ||
| And I watched, we ran that shit, just to let you know the direction people think. | ||
| I watched that shit six times. | ||
| And every time, man, every time you heard Dave say, I'm Rick James, bitch. | ||
| It was gut, son. | ||
| It was gut, son. | ||
| Yo, what did the five fingers say to the face? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bow! | |
| When's the last time you had a sketch was getting kids suspended in school? | ||
| Right. | ||
| People was going to school to their teachers. | ||
| What did Five Fingers They say? | ||
| I'm Rick James, bitch. | ||
| Alright, Tommy, you suspended for a week. | ||
| You and Dave Chappelle go to the fucking timeout room. | ||
| It's one of the most iconic sketches of all time. | ||
| How wrong was Comedy Central? | ||
| I mean, not just a little wrong. | ||
| All the way wrong. | ||
| All the way wrong. | ||
| Almost like suicidal. | ||
| It's like, hmm. | ||
| But then it goes to show, you know how you have a vision with something. | ||
| You see it. | ||
| Everybody may not see it. | ||
| Well, that's the problem with working with executives too, right? | ||
| It's like their vision is different than your vision. | ||
| They like to shape you in a certain way. | ||
| And I know Dave ran into problems with them wanting them to change language so they could get more sponsors. | ||
| Yeah, I think that That wasn't an issue. | ||
| And to be quite honest, I don't know exactly what happened. | ||
| Everything is speculation. | ||
| You never talked to him about it? | ||
| Never talked to him about it because the reason why I never talked to him about it because I didn't need to talk to him about it. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| That show was great for me. | ||
| It was a great, great platform for me. | ||
| And then it was more important. | ||
| My friendship and how he felt away from that was more important. | ||
| Then, so why'd you leave? | ||
| Where'd you go? | ||
| The first time I saw him, I'm like, as long as you're okay. | ||
| Because it's going to be scary for anybody. | ||
| One of your closest friends, somebody you work with, all of a sudden just goes to another country. | ||
| You don't hear from them. | ||
| But when I first saw him after that, I was excited. | ||
| And I was just like, whatever it was, we had a moment. | ||
| We made history. | ||
| And people go on. | ||
| People go on to do other things and just keep it moving. | ||
| But that show was... | ||
| Really, people always say, Donnell, if it wasn't for the Chappelle Show, this and that, Chappelle Show... | ||
| Gave me a platform for people to see what I've been doing for years. | ||
| And you know, you see talentless in the club now. | ||
| You see a motherfucker that's good as shit, good as shit. | ||
| But will they get the right platform for the world to see them? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| And that's kind of separate. | ||
| You see one person go from one level to the next level who has the right platform to showcase their talent. | ||
| And that show did that for me. | ||
| And with that said, I gave that show everything. | ||
| Every time I had a second on camera. | ||
| Every time... | ||
| Like, if you look at two and a half years on that show, if you had an editor break down how many times I spoke, it would probably be a total of four minutes. | ||
| I'll get a word here. | ||
| I'll get a phrase here. | ||
| But I told myself, whenever they turn that motherfucking camera on, I'm going for it. | ||
| Like, even if I'm not talking... | ||
| I'm going to make my body so expressive that your eyeball draws to... | ||
| I remember Neil told me one time, he said... | ||
| Because I always get a mic because I'll come up with a line or something to throw in. | ||
| And we were doing a Rick James sketch and I didn't have a mic. | ||
| I was like, yo, sound. | ||
| And Neil said, you're not going to get a mic, bro. | ||
| I said, I might... | ||
| I was like... | ||
| I might say something. | ||
| He was like, you're not going to say anything. | ||
| I was like, fuck. | ||
| So I told myself, when he smacks this motherfucker, because if you look at that scene, when he smacks him, I said, what the fuck? | ||
| I was like a Washington Square Park mime. | ||
| I pushed that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I said, what the fuck? | |
| I made my face. | ||
| He didn't give me a mic, but I said, what the fuck with my face? | ||
| And I always... | ||
| As people always ask about that show, young actors and stuff like that, talk to me, what do you need to do? | ||
| I was like, with anything, the best thing to do is figure out a way to get on a set. | ||
| You get on a set, you do background, you learn, you get opportunities, you got to be around it, you got to get a skill set. | ||
| But when it's time to show up, you got to show up. | ||
| You have to show up. | ||
| Motherfuckers talk a lot of shit. | ||
| I want to do this out there. | ||
| And then when they say action, motherfuckers ain't ready to show up. | ||
| And every time motherfuckers say action in a situation, you got to show up. | ||
| Well, you have a great ability to express yourself on stage and on TV. Some people feel uncomfortable. | ||
| They just like to be cool while they're telling the jokes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like, some people have that style. | ||
| Like, your style is big, you know? | ||
| I appreciate it. | ||
| You know, you ever see Jim Brewer? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I saw Jim Brewer, like, the first time I saw him, we were real young. | ||
| Young Jim Brewer? | ||
| Yeah, we were real young. | ||
| And my manager, Jason Steinberg, says what's up to him. | ||
| Oh, tell him I said what's up. | ||
| No doubt. | ||
| When I first saw Brewer, he's so physical. | ||
| You get tired watching him. | ||
| I remember Jim Brewer at Boston Comedy Club days. | ||
| That's why when you mentioned his name, I was like, which Jim Brewer are we speaking of? | ||
| Even today, our dad, Jim Brewer, today, he's still real energetic. | ||
| When I tell you, I saw him in his super prime. | ||
| He was a murderer. | ||
| And he was... | ||
| He destroyed shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Destroyed. | |
| Like, shut the... | ||
| Like, who's gonna do anything after that? | ||
| You know? | ||
| Who? | ||
| Dude, I ate shit following him once. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| One of the worst bombings of my entire career. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jim? | |
| I was headlining and Jim was Midland. | ||
| We were working together. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We did four... | |
| And you know, Midland is a prime spot to fuck somebody up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Prime spot. | |
| That's a prime spot. | ||
| 2025? | ||
| We had a good MC too, so the MC got the crowd really popping, and then the middle came on, and Jim just ripped the place apart. | ||
| He ripped it apart, and I was scared. | ||
| I had a blown out ACL at the time, and I was wearing Cavaricis. | ||
| I was wearing sexy pants. | ||
| Oh shit. | ||
| I don't even want to think of that thought. | ||
| I don't like too much information. | ||
| Pause! | ||
| They were these stupid pants that people wore in the 80s, man. | ||
| Like, they were tied to the top and they flared out a little on the legs. | ||
| Like MC Hammer pants? | ||
| Almost, like a little bit. | ||
| They were pathetic. | ||
| I can't believe I ever owned them, but they were in style. | ||
| I don't even believe I have that. | ||
| That's what I have that image. | ||
| That's what they look like. | ||
| Yeah, look at that, bro. | ||
| Seriously. | ||
| You not should know Elk and them motherfuckers. | ||
| No, you're not. | ||
| I think mine were probably jeans. | ||
| That's awful. | ||
| The jeans ones like that. | ||
| Like, see the far left and the blue? | ||
| Right there. | ||
| Bam. | ||
| Yeah, mine's like those. | ||
| That's awful, bro. | ||
| Terrible. | ||
| That's awful. | ||
| How can I wear those and have a straight face? | ||
| And then I had some nice dress-up shirt on and I just ate plates of shit. | ||
| But it made me rethink my whole act. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because it was such a humiliating bombing. | ||
| Because I knew that the audience was right. | ||
| I wasn't being funny. | ||
| I was nervous and scared. | ||
| But those are the moments... | ||
| Think about it. | ||
| Those are the moments... | ||
| That make you. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| And like now I see in comedy, like I go to some clubs, motherfuckers trying to do the lineup kind of soft, like, well, we can't put that person in front of that person because they won't be able to follow it, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| But it should be a point like when I started, like the baddest motherfuckers in the game, they went on stage. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And if you was a new Jack coming up, how are you going to have a defining moment in comedy? | ||
| You got to go behind somebody. | ||
| Anybody can do it. | ||
| If you got a hot room, everybody's doing good. | ||
| But put that shit behind where you got a motherfucker like a Bill Burr comes in the room and just goes and fucks it up. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| Flatlines it. | ||
| You got to stand up? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We did. | ||
| I did a tour with him, Bill, and it's so interesting because I know they have one of those podcasts where the theme is, have you ever had to come behind a destroyer? | ||
| I forget the podcast that does it, but Chris DeLea. | ||
| If you ever had to come behind? | ||
| A story of coming behind someone that just demolishes. | ||
| Oh, going on after them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Okay, yeah. | ||
| I think Chris DeLea, I saw Chris DeLea do it once. | ||
| He sent me in it. | ||
| But when we were doing Chappelle after Chappelle's show. | ||
| After the second year of Chappelle's show, we weren't really making a lot of money on Chappelle's show because the show still hadn't been proven. | ||
| You know how something you got to... | ||
| If you got a contract, you got a contract. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| It just so happened the show blew up before the contract was over, but that don't mean nobody's going to renegotiate. | ||
| So we had this popularity, but we wasn't making money. | ||
| And I came up with the idea of doing a tour called the I'm Rich Bitch Tour. | ||
| And at the time, at the time, Charlie was... | ||
| Like, anywhere he goes. | ||
| At the time, Bill Burr was a headliner probably at the time in B rooms, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| And there's no disrespect to him, but he was on the come up. | ||
| But when you saw Bill, you knew this motherfucker was going to be next. | ||
| You knew he was going to pop it, but we still wasn't getting no cash. | ||
| Charlie had never told jokes. | ||
| And I was like, how the fuck are you around all these comedians you've never been on stage? | ||
| So I used to bully him. | ||
| You know, he tough ass motherfucker, rest in peace. | ||
| But I was like, yeah, you so tough motherfucker, but not with a microphone in your hand. | ||
| And I bullied him so much that he finally went on stage. | ||
| And Charlie, the tour was Charlie with MC. And all we needed him to do was 10 or 15 minutes. | ||
| At the time, me and Charlie, outside of the day, were two popular people on the show. | ||
| Bill Burr had a couple of sketches, but Bill Burr didn't pop off of the show. | ||
| And I was like, but if we're going to do this, let's have a fire show. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| We could put somebody weak in the middle. | ||
| I said, let's give them a show that they won't ever forget. | ||
| And Charlie used to come out and do 10 to 15 minutes. | ||
| And I tell people, I was like, who's the toughest person to follow? | ||
| But Charlie would go out and do 10 to 15 minutes. | ||
| And Bill Berger would come out and do 20 to 25. And then I came behind Bill. | ||
| Not one night. | ||
| For a year. | ||
| A whole year. | ||
| And Bill Burr is the type of actor, you have no days off. | ||
| You have no, any of that, any little inkling of being off, you're just going to hear, yeah, I like the show, but the white dude was funny as a motherfucker, you know? | ||
| And you can tell at that time that Bill Burr was going to be a A start. | ||
| Whether it would have been movies or television, but as a stand-up, you know, he was one of the pound for pound, one of the dopest to do it. | ||
| And that tour went on for a fucking year. | ||
| We had a blast. | ||
| Yeah, Bill's brilliant. | ||
| I got to work with Charlie for... | ||
| We did this Maxim tour. | ||
| We did like 22 dates. | ||
| Me and him and John Heffron. | ||
| We traveled all over the place. | ||
| Was it when Charlie was starting to do it? | ||
| He's like two years in. | ||
| He was two years in at the time. | ||
| And you know, people, Joe, people understand how tough it is to start as a comedian. | ||
| As a famous person. | ||
| As a comedian. | ||
| Basically, you're Oprah Miker. | ||
| Just selling out all across the country. | ||
| And not only that... | ||
| But you're Eddie Murphy's brother. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So you got to fight past all of that shit creating your own identity. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, I cannot imagine, like, the heat he probably had. | ||
| Yeah, but he ain't Eddie Murphy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| He ain't Eddie Murphy. | ||
| And that's one of the things that when Charlie passed that I really appreciated about what the Chappelle Show did for him because when he passed away... | ||
| Nobody said Eddie Murphy's brother died. | ||
| Everybody was like, Charlie Murphy passed away. | ||
| So he had his true identity, and that was Charlie Murphy. | ||
| Yeah, and that was one of his bits. | ||
| Does it piss you off when people yell, Charlie Murphy? | ||
| He goes, no, I'm just happy they're not calling me Eddie Murphy's brother anymore. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| I remember that. | ||
| That was like, at that time... | ||
| That was a joke that addressed it. | ||
| And he found himself. | ||
| He got better. | ||
| He got better. | ||
| And then he carved his own lane. | ||
| He carved his own lane. | ||
| Dude, I was with Maury Smith, who used to be the UFC heavyweight champion. | ||
| And Ivan Salivari, who's a guy who fought in the middleweight division of the UFC. And a couple other professional fighters at a table with Charlie Murphy. | ||
| And Charlie was explaining how none of these motherfuckers know how to do a Chicago Ridge hand. | ||
| He's talking about some karate shit. | ||
| Oh, he was big on the karate shit! | ||
| But it's like Charlie Murphy's holding court, standing up, all these UFC fighters are standing back. | ||
| And Charlie Murphy's talking about Ridgehand. | ||
| And he knew exactly what he was talking about, right? | ||
| Yeah, he knew how to fight, for sure. | ||
| He knew martial arts, man. | ||
| He was big into it. | ||
| He used to be Eddie's bodyguard when Eddie was right at the height of his stuff. | ||
| But Charlie was martial arts. | ||
| But everything that he said, it was the truth. | ||
| You didn't feel like, oh, this dude is lying. | ||
| Everything he said, it was the truth. | ||
| And one of the most genuine people you want to meet, man. | ||
| Just a dope guy. | ||
| Yeah, his karate lineage, like he has some sort of a connection to some of my friends. | ||
| I'd have to ask them, but he was like a legit martial artist, too. | ||
| I saw one video of him in a martial arts contest, and it was, I don't know, I always tell him, I was like, yo, you knocked a 14-year-old, right? | ||
| I don't know how he, I don't know if it was a weight or whatever it was, and I was like, yo, that was a fucking kid you just knocked out. | ||
| He was like, yo, anybody in the ring could fucking get it. | ||
| Why are they putting kids in with him? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I saw the video, he never wanted me to talk about it. | ||
| I used to bust his balls about him all the time. | ||
| I could tell being around him that he legitimately knew how to fight. | ||
| Yeah, you could tell. | ||
| The way he carries himself. | ||
| Yeah, he just had that... | ||
| That scowl, he just looks like that. | ||
| But he was one of the nicest guys, man. | ||
| He was so fun to be around. | ||
| Not knowing him at all and then traveling with him for 22 days. | ||
| We had so much fun, man. | ||
| Oh man, the stories. | ||
| All just laughing and silly and super friendly. | ||
| And all he wanted to do was, man, just have a good time and laugh. | ||
| That's all he wanted to do. | ||
| And talk shit. | ||
| And talk shit to me all the time. | ||
| And was so happy to be able to do stand-up. | ||
| That was a big thing for him, you know, that he could do stand-up and travel around. | ||
| I always tell him, I tell him all the time, I say, I birthed your career, dude. | ||
| Like, I bullied him into this shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He did. | |
| That's hilarious. | ||
| But you could tell, and I've been around him and I've been around his family, and you could tell when he was growing up, he was the guy that always had the center of attention. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You could just tell that. | ||
| Yeah, you could tell. | ||
| He knows how to hold a story. | ||
| Yes, he does. | ||
| That was a hard one, man. | ||
| When he passed, I was like, I didn't know he was sick. | ||
| I had no idea. | ||
| You know, it's interesting that you say that because I had to continue to do shows, do radio interviews and stuff, and the thing that people kept saying was, he was so young. | ||
| He was so young. | ||
| And he was young, but I don't believe that we're all going to live to be 80, 90, 100, you know? | ||
| The only thing we all guarantee when we're born, we have our born date, we have that dash in the middle, and then we have the end. | ||
| And it comes down to what the fuck do you do with your dash? | ||
| How hard did you live? | ||
| What did you go for? | ||
| What inspired you? | ||
| What motivated you? | ||
| What did you do with that dash? | ||
| Who the fuck gives a fuck about living to 100 and you don't have a passport? | ||
| You haven't been outside of your block. | ||
| You haven't been out. | ||
| You have never been on an airplane. | ||
| What are you doing with your life? | ||
| And I know, Charlie, from the point of being in the Navy, To being with his brother, seeing his brother reach a certain height of success, being interested in the business, but kind of in there, but never really made your mark. | ||
| And then you get a platform that you become and get your identity and shit. | ||
| That's the dopest shit. | ||
| It's one of the best kind of success stories because it doesn't happen automatically. | ||
| It's that Frank Sinatra and I did it my way. | ||
| And it's like, you know, people say what they want to say, but he put the work in. | ||
| I remember when, I think the movie Eddie did called Norbit, right? | ||
| And it came from a joke Charlie had. | ||
| The start of that movie, and I guess, I think him and Eddie was talking, whatever, and then, you know how, oh, that could be, ba-ba-ba, it could be a movie, and motherfucker Charlie called me and said, yo, man, I think I get this movie deal. | ||
| I said, what you about to do? | ||
| He said, I'm about to go lock myself in a hotel for 30 days and write this motherfucker movie. | ||
| They already gave me the money. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I'm talking about, I'm not talking about somebody, I've been writing this movie for six months or whatever, it's like, I'm about to go Block everything off and write this shit. | ||
| And no matter what anybody want to say about how good the movie was, what the critics say, anybody in this business, if you can do something where it goes from a thought And it goes to the paper and you can execute it. | ||
| How many motherfuckers can do that? | ||
| They don't do that. | ||
| People talk shit all the motherfucking time. | ||
| But then you say, how many of you got in the can? | ||
| Yo, I write movies. | ||
| Give me a script. | ||
| Oh, hold on, hold on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm almost... | |
| I'm 30 pages in. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| How many times do you hear that story? | ||
| Well, there's a lot of that going on. | ||
| I got a great idea. | ||
| All right, what is it? | ||
| I remember... | ||
| I was, that's when Chappelle's show was popping, and Ludacris gave me a lesson out of nowhere. | ||
| I saw him in the airport, and I was on Ashley Larry, hard. | ||
| I was like, rich bitch, man! | ||
| So I'm looking at rappers like, we're even, right? | ||
| So Ludacris comes to the airport. | ||
| I was like, yo, Luda! | ||
| Right? | ||
| He said, what's up, Ashley? | ||
| I said, yo, can the motherfucker get in a movie or something? | ||
| I just thought that's what you do. | ||
| You just ask a motherfucker to get a movie. | ||
| I'm like, can a motherfucker get a movie or something? | ||
| And he looked at me, Joe, it was so cold. | ||
| He looked at me right in my face. | ||
| He said, we're looking for people with ideas. | ||
| And I looked at him like, well, I have none, right? | ||
| So, I guess this is this conversation. | ||
| And it did. | ||
| And what I'm telling you, it was a lesson. | ||
| How the fuck are you going to ask somebody for something and you don't got shit to give them? | ||
| Well, a lot of guys in the beginning think that's how you do it. | ||
| That's how you do it. | ||
| When I was on HBO's The Wire, this motherfucker told me one time, he said, Yo, D, can you give me the number to The Wire? | ||
| I think I could do that shit. | ||
| This motherfucker thought that there was like a hotline from anybody from the streets. | ||
| You ever thought about being an actor? | ||
| You don't want to put those 10 years of getting rejected? | ||
| Just call this number and we'll put you on The Wire. | ||
| You know what gets me about acting, though, is when someone who's never acted before goes in there and kills it. | ||
| You know, like people who are, like athletes in particular, like rappers have done it. | ||
| Like a lot of people have done it. | ||
| Singers. | ||
| But some people, I believe that you have natural talents. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think some people have natural talents. | ||
| That person, like you have a person that's trained and you have people that just are natural. | ||
| And then if you think about it, acting is just, it's playing make-believe. | ||
| It is just playing make-believe. | ||
| Who can play make-believe better? | ||
| Is it a person that for 12 years they've been studying and they went to the school? | ||
| Or is it a motherfucker that got that one story, that one character that they can nail? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Or is it the case of there's some people that'll do stand-up comedy for 30 years and they're never going to be that funny? | ||
| Or Dave could do it for a year and kill you? | ||
| Like Chappelle? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh yeah, he could kill... | ||
| But he's got... | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| There's some people that... | ||
| But he's just a whole different animal. | ||
| And the reason why I say that... | ||
| You're a great comic. | ||
| I consider myself a great comic. | ||
| I consider you a great comic. | ||
| I appreciate it. | ||
| And with that said, we do have egos. | ||
| As much as people talk about somebody, in your mind you're like, I'm great too, motherfucker. | ||
| And one day I was watching Dave on stage and I'm like, what makes this motherfucker great? | ||
| And I think, in my opinion, what makes it great is it's not too often that we have an opportunity to have a Muhammad Ali moment. | ||
| And when I say that, I mean a moment where you've got to throw everything on the table. | ||
| It's your integrity, your moral beliefs. | ||
| What do I want to stand on? | ||
| What do I want to stand for? | ||
| And that's how some people get attached to it. | ||
| Of course, Muhammad Ali was the greatest, but it wasn't just in the boxing ring what made him great. | ||
| It's what he stood for. | ||
| And I think when I look at Dave Chappelle, I look at his stand-up, and I look at his career, and I say, what made him great? | ||
| And that's a person that Stanley Belief is going to give you their unfiltered truth, and they own it. | ||
| And don't compromise, and don't back down to anything. | ||
| Well, he understands what's important about stand-up, especially the type of stand-up that he does. | ||
| He has to have full freedom. | ||
| Yep, that's how you... | ||
| I've heard you say shit on stage. | ||
| I'm like, that white boy, Musk, can fight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, Certain white dudes, you like this, what the fuck just happened, son? | |
| Like, that motherfucker got some suplex or something, you know? | ||
| He know how to hit you, like, you know, like in a certain part of your neck and your whole shit is fucked up, you know? | ||
| But those are people only. | ||
| I was talking to Tony Hinchcliffe. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He was doing this joke about... | ||
| What's the card, motherfucker? | ||
| Pedophile dude? | ||
| Oh, Jared from Subway. | ||
| Not Jared from Subway. | ||
| He's got a joke about Jared from Subway. | ||
| No, he got another pedophile motherfucker... | ||
| Another one? | ||
| Who's the other pedophile? | ||
| The other one. | ||
| He's a big actor. | ||
| Big time actor. | ||
| He had a Netflix show. | ||
| Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. | ||
| Spacey. | ||
| Kevin Spacey. | ||
| The whack off at the bar, dude. | ||
| Kevin Spacey. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Tony, watch this. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| That bit is crazy. | ||
| Man, that bit. | ||
| And you know, for me, that bit is so dope. | ||
| I'm like this. | ||
| I'm about to throw up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I'm like, it's like this. | ||
| He won't stop. | ||
| Yes, he won't stop. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He owns it. | |
| He's owning it. | ||
| And I told him, and it was just, like I said, I don't know if it's a movement, but I feel like I was recruiting him for a gang right now. | ||
| I saw him in the hallway, I was like, yeah, me and I. Dave Chappelle was just talking about the brand of comedy that you have. | ||
| Don't lose it. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Stay true to it. | ||
| Because as much as people fucking with us, they don't want you to say this, you want to say that. | ||
| Again, it's a handful of motherfuckers going to stay to their truth, and they're going to be rewarded for that shit. | ||
| Because the other shit is just bullshit, man. | ||
| Can't nobody tell you. | ||
| How the fuck is somebody going to tell you what you think is funny as a comedian? | ||
| And you don't even know if you think it's funny while you're doing it on stage. | ||
| You're trying to make it funny. | ||
| So there's a lot of stuff that people hear. | ||
| Maybe they only hear it once. | ||
| But you know it's funny. | ||
| You know it's funny, you just don't know where the funny is sometimes. | ||
| You don't know the rhythm of it because I don't know what your writing process is. | ||
| What's yours? | ||
| Mine is like... | ||
| It's a regular conversation. | ||
| Like, I have conversations with friends all day. | ||
| It's talking about pop, I mean, topical stuff. | ||
| And it's like, you know, people with sense of humor, it's like, you see the funniest side of anything. | ||
| Like, the Jesse Smiley, it's just Gil Cosby, Smollett, whatever the fuck it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whatever it is. | |
| All that shit. | ||
| You think something funny. | ||
| So, I never try to sit down like, I'm gonna write this perfect joke. | ||
| It's usually something that comes in a casual conversation. | ||
| And it's those moments, you know, you talk to somebody, you be like, oh, that's funny. | ||
| Usually that's where I start my writing, if something connects with me like that. | ||
| And I just go and believe in it and just force that shit to work. | ||
| Yeah, once you get on that stage with that idea and you're in that moment and you have just like... | ||
| Everybody understands the first time you're trying a new bit. | ||
| That's one of the weirdest moments ever. | ||
| Everybody don't take a chance. | ||
| That's one thing I say about you, the times I've watched you. | ||
| I call them pussy comics. | ||
| You know, motherfuckers just do a set. | ||
| Like, yo, I'm going to fuck somebody after this shit. | ||
| I'm just going to stand outside and hear good set, good set, good set. | ||
| Then you got the motherfuckers like, no, that was a thought from last week. | ||
| I got some more shit to talk about. | ||
| I got some more shit. | ||
| And you push those boundaries. | ||
| A lot of people don't do that shit. | ||
| You have to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's part of the business. | |
| I can't respect them robot motherfuckers, son. | ||
| Them robot motherfuckers! | ||
| Talk to me! | ||
| Yo, them motherfuckers! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Talk to me! | |
| You can go to sleep and you wake up and you get innocent! | ||
| Get the fuck out of here! | ||
| We know it worked, motherfucker! | ||
| Oh, no! | ||
| And here comes my closer! | ||
| Yo, I'm saving my closer! | ||
| You really want to touch the motherfucking nuts? | ||
| Open with your punk ass clothes, motherfucker. | ||
| Open with your clothes, and we'll see how much strip them other motherfuckers. | ||
| Flip that shit up. | ||
| Them motherfuckers, I call them the... | ||
| Yes! | ||
| But they got scared, and then they got better. | ||
| They got an act, and then they got scared again and never got rid of that act. | ||
| And then they can't stand for the right motherfucker to be in the room. | ||
| They can't stand for a motherfucker like this. | ||
| Oh, that's what you did, bro? | ||
| Guess what I'm gonna do? | ||
| I'm gonna flip a whole new set on your motherfuckers. | ||
| Maybe I want to do a set. | ||
| Maybe I'll just... | ||
| Build some shit from this one motherfucker right here. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Not a riff like, your pants so tight, but pull something from him and just turn this into a whole shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then that hard drive starts coming. | ||
| Because you know, we got millions of jokes that we never use. | ||
| They just get stored on a hard drive. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| They like this. | ||
| People like this. | ||
| Is that your first time? | ||
| When did you come up with that? | ||
| 15 years ago. | ||
| But the moment was now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, it's going to go now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's it. | ||
| I'm going to tell you. | ||
| I've been doing it for 25 years. | ||
| And after 25 years, I can honestly say I feel like I get better every year. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| I think the same thing. | ||
| That's somebody that's a... | ||
| A purist. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| And I think that... | ||
| I mean, good sets and bad sets when you're working on new stuff. | ||
| But I think overall, when I'm done after two years, each two years is better than the two years before when I'm ready to film. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think that's what it's all about. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| Man, if you're not out there... | ||
| If you're not out there creating a type of material where it's old... | ||
| Like... | ||
| I'm going to do another special... | ||
| Who are you doing it for? | ||
| Here's the tricky part. | ||
| I'm not on... | ||
| I might be on Netflix radar, but I don't have a deal with them, but I'm gonna, not by myself, but Dave Chappelle has gave me a verbal commitment that he's gonna produce my next special. | ||
| So, with that said, I don't have a home, but I'm pretty sure The level I've been operating with my stand-up, you know when you're ready. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It's like, I just know it, bro. | ||
| I just know it. | ||
| I think the energy that I bring to a special right now, and then the energy that he would bring to producing for me, it would just fucking blow up. | ||
| And this is not something like, I'm not calling Dave up every day like, dude, you got to do my special. | ||
| Every time I work with him, he was like, you got to let me do your special. | ||
| I'm like, let's go, motherfucker. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So... | |
| I feel good about that. | ||
| I'm not saying that I'm eyeing this place, I'm eyeing that place. | ||
| First thing I want to do is put an hour of material that when it plays, it can change my life. | ||
| Well, I've been seeing you at the store, man. | ||
| You're locked in. | ||
| You can tell you're doing a lot of sets. | ||
| Yo, I want reps. | ||
| Yeah, that's what's up. | ||
| What do you do, bro? | ||
| I can't fucking stay home for reps. | ||
| Gotta have reps. | ||
| Never catch a motherfucker off guard. | ||
| Yeah, sometimes I'll do four sets in a night in L.A. I did. | ||
| I did. | ||
| And I was so proud of myself. | ||
| I got six sets in in a night in L.A. Wow. | ||
| And I was so fucking happy because that's a normal night in New York. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But in L.A., you got to plan that shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You got to hit sunset. | ||
| It's got to be like, boom, I'm out. | ||
| But you feel like... | ||
| You feel like you just can do whatever you want. | ||
| Because you know if you're starting off with something new on that first one, you got four more. | ||
| By the time the night is over, you got that motherfucker. | ||
| Yeah, when you're doing reps the same night too, when you hit that third set, it's almost like you're in this weird flow state where there's no resistance between you and the ideas. | ||
| The material just comes out so loose. | ||
| And then you know the thing you got to do is one thing to have a joke. | ||
| A motherfucker can write a joke. | ||
| And that's why you see some motherfuckers, you just tell them that they're a good writer. | ||
| But there's nothing, there's no performance of it. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| There's no performance. | ||
| That brings me back to Brewer. | ||
| Brewer wasn't just funny writing. | ||
| He would get physical. | ||
| He'd stretch his neck out. | ||
| Man, he would do shit. | ||
| Man, I'm telling you, the Boston Comedy Club years ago, Barry Katz ran and owned it at the time. | ||
| And that was the premier showcase spot. | ||
| Yeah, it's a great place. | ||
| It was running neck and neck with the Comedy Cellar. | ||
| Comedy Cellar had the longest legs. | ||
| You know, it's the tortoise and the hare. | ||
| Comedy Cellar has been in forever. | ||
| But this spot, and it was Jim Brewer. | ||
| It was John Brown Boy, Johnny. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It was two guys. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| And Round Boy something? | ||
| Fat Johnny and Round Boy? | ||
| Was that it? | ||
| Yeah, they would demolish it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that how you say it? | |
| Yep. | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| And then you had a motherfucking 17-year-old. | ||
| The Round Guy? | ||
| One of them. | ||
| Fat Johnny and the Round Guy? | ||
| They all dads now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I forget the name. | ||
| That was a time where comedy was on fire, and Jim Brewer would demolish it. | ||
| Jay Moore used to demolish it. | ||
| It was a great spot. | ||
| It was one of those real small clubs. | ||
| Like, what did that seat... | ||
| Probably 125, 130. But it was like, it was old comedy club vibe, brick wall, tightness. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It reminds you of like... | ||
| Red Johnny and the Round Guy, right? | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| Ah, beautiful. | ||
| It reminds you, yeah. | ||
| Red Johnny. | ||
| Look at Jon Stewart. | ||
| Look at those guys. | ||
| They were on TV. They were a team. | ||
| They got on a pants we had on Earth. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Mine were more pathetic. | ||
| You know who I used to follow at the comedy store that also changed my life? | ||
| Martin Lawrence in the 90s. | ||
| People forgot. | ||
| You came behind him in the 90s? | ||
| Dude, I used to be the guy who had to go on after him. | ||
| Mitzi used to always stick me on after Martin Lawrence. | ||
| And I know he was an animal then. | ||
| I'm going to tell you, the first time I saw Martin Lawrence, and it was kind of made me... | ||
| I was interested in comedy. | ||
| I was in D.C. I was laying up in the bed with this chick. | ||
| And HBO... You know, when it was like... | ||
| It was like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yo, you just had popcorn for... | |
| Yeah. | ||
| So, Martin Lawrence came out there. | ||
| They was like, ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Martin Lawrence. | ||
| And he sees this little black dude, big-ass, skinny motherfucker with all his energy. | ||
| And this motherfucker opened the line. | ||
| He said, give it up for... | ||
| A brother making money the right way. | ||
| He said, when you making money the right way, you can tell your lady shit like, shut the fuck up. | ||
| I woke up, I was in the bed like, who is this motherfucker, right? | ||
| He said, you can tell your lady, she's like, shut the fuck up. | ||
| People's like, woo, woo, woo. | ||
| And then he said, and he said, after that, he said, and she'll shut up too. | ||
| He said, she'll be like, you so crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And like, who has... | |
| Come on, son. | ||
| The first sentence, you like, like, boom. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he ripped that shit. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And if you was fucking with that shit, it was like, it was everything Martin did. | ||
| That was a good time. | ||
| He was going on stage with leather jumpsuits on, and I was going on after him. | ||
| It was devastating. | ||
| Well, you know you're already going to make it or made it if you're going on with leather jumpsuits and you're hitting comedy clubs. | ||
| Well, it was just people were getting up in droves. | ||
| By the time I would go on stage, everybody just wanted out of the building. | ||
| That was, and this is what I'll say. | ||
| What year was that? | ||
| Night. | ||
| 94. That was when? | ||
| That's when specials were really specials. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There wasn't that many of them. | ||
| That's when it wasn't that many of them. | ||
| HBO was it. | ||
| Yeah, HBO was it. | ||
| And that was one of those specials where, and that's what I'm saying with the next one I do, you never can plan stuff like that, but the energy I want to have is the energy out of that. | ||
| It's like, this is going to change my life. | ||
| And that was the energy. | ||
| And that's why you're so crazy. | ||
| You could just feel it. | ||
| I can't imagine when he was done with that. | ||
| Everybody came up like this. | ||
| You know your life is about to change. | ||
| You know, like a Bernie Mac with I'm Scared of You Motherfuckers. | ||
| You know the story behind that? | ||
| That's an all-time classic. | ||
| Do you know the story behind it? | ||
| No. | ||
| The story behind it, it was this comic from DC named Butch Burns. | ||
| Butch Burns was a DC legend, right? | ||
| He was a senior guy of all of us in DC. Tony Woods and Joe Rector. | ||
| He was a senior guy. | ||
| So in Def Jam, nobody really knew what Def Jam was going to be. | ||
| It was just a new show. | ||
| So Butch Burns had a set And he didn't do well. | ||
| He bombed. | ||
| Like, throwing chicken bones. | ||
| I'm not saying it's because it was a black audience. | ||
| I'm just saying. | ||
| They was throwing bottles on the stage. | ||
| They booed the shit out of this dude. | ||
| Martin couldn't contain the audience. | ||
| Martin couldn't do anything. | ||
| It was just one of those things. | ||
| You ever seen a room that's so fucked up that can't anybody do anything? | ||
| The only thing you're saying is, okay, just let me go on. | ||
| So Butch Burns' career was dead. | ||
| He's leaving... | ||
| Going up backstage, and he talked to Bernie Mac. | ||
| Bernie Mac said, listen, hold your head up. | ||
| He said, the sun's not shining on you today, but it'll shine on you again. | ||
| Just hold your head up. | ||
| You'll be all right. | ||
| And next on deck was Bernie Mac. | ||
| Audience that was uncontrollable. | ||
| Martin couldn't do anything. | ||
| It was just like this. | ||
| Nigga, you on your own, right? | ||
| It was one of the moments. | ||
| And that's where the phrase, I ain't scared of you motherfuckers, came from. | ||
| That wasn't in his set. | ||
| It was a real motherfucking comic figuring out what he's going to do in this moment. | ||
| And he had to... | ||
| Let me hear this. | ||
| Let me hear this. | ||
| Give me some volume. | ||
| I ain't coming from no foolishness. | ||
| No, get it from the beginning. | ||
| I ain't scared of you motherfuckers! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right off the gate! | |
| Rewind it! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm gonna tell you something! | |
| Rewind it! | ||
| That's what I'm trying to tell you! | ||
| I'm telling you the history! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I ain't scared of you motherfuckers! | |
| Rewind it! | ||
| One more time! | ||
| Okay! | ||
| Alright, stop it! | ||
| Can you pause for one second? | ||
| Now, this is after a motherfucker's career was buried. | ||
| This is after Bernie Mac. | ||
| He came on the year before that and I think he thought he was dressed too old. | ||
| He had like a Steve Harvey suit on. | ||
| So he wanted to appeal to the youth a little bit more. | ||
| That's why he got the graffiti thing. | ||
| And he's backstage saying like, this could change my career. | ||
| Another motherfucker's career is over. | ||
| And this is a real comedian. | ||
| This first line out the motherfucking box. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I ain't scared of you motherfuckers. | |
| I'm going to tell you something straight off the motherfucking press. | ||
| I ain't coming for no foolishness. | ||
|
unidentified
|
In New York, goddammit, y'all motherfuckin' women look good. | |
| Y'all like a bacon and egg sandwich look good. | ||
| But I love sex. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love it. | |
| Can't do shit no more. | ||
| Look at their face! | ||
| They bored! | ||
| Lord, I'm blessed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, we got to... | |
| Although we're getting kicked off YouTube if we keep playing it. | ||
| Oh, man! | ||
| But the build-up! | ||
| When he first get that... | ||
| When he first do that... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, well... | ||
| You don't understand. | ||
| He called back. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Now you see the emotion of it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was like... | ||
| I guarantee the energy he wanted to have to rip was there. | ||
| But the story, the backstory, it being in that moment. | ||
| And at the end of the day... | ||
| Who gonna be prepared for those moments, yo? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Motherfuckers not built for that shit no more. | ||
| You gotta do reps. | ||
| You gotta do reps. | ||
| They not built for it. | ||
| They got a motherfucking excuse for everything. | ||
| You ever go to a motherfucking room and they be talking about how's the crowd? | ||
| Motherfucker, fuck the crowd. | ||
| How are you? | ||
| Oh, was the crowd lame? | ||
| No. | ||
| You were lame, bruh. | ||
| It ain't their job. | ||
| It's our motherfucking job. | ||
| I thought I was going hard in the paint. | ||
| No, I'm just saying it's our fucking job. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| And I've heard you in your podcast talking about no excuses. | ||
| And I feel like the things you say about no excuses, yeah, it's easy to make an excuse. | ||
| But at the end of the day, it's an excuse. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You got two excuses. | ||
| You got a good excuse and you got a bad excuse. | ||
| Well, you know what? | ||
| You could have an explanation for failure with no excuse. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| We can talk about how you failed and why you failed. | ||
| Don't have an excuse, but go, I fucked up. | ||
| I came out. | ||
| I was flat. | ||
| I didn't concentrate. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know what it was. | |
| Yeah, I know what it was. | ||
| I fucked up. | ||
| And don't use it. | ||
| Like I say, this crowd sucked. | ||
| That's the wrong way to look at it. | ||
| That doesn't help you at all. | ||
| Man, anytime I hear a comedian say, how were they? | ||
| No, I ain't never seen it. | ||
| How are you? | ||
| Because guess what? | ||
| We don't know what's going to happen, bro. | ||
| We don't know if that motherfucker in the front row is thinking about a funeral. | ||
| We don't know that. | ||
| But it's our job to, kind of, going back to what you said earlier, in a sense, we read people's minds through their body. | ||
| You can tell. | ||
| You can watch the show. | ||
| You can be like, oh, she was so upset because I said that. | ||
| You can just look at the body. | ||
| You know the posture. | ||
| You know everything. | ||
| And then we feed off of that. | ||
| But who's going to be fucking ready for that? | ||
| And there's so many of these motherfuckers. | ||
| And I'm not going off, but it's just frustrating when you see motherfuckers out here making excuses. | ||
| Well, it's not good for everybody that's around them. | ||
| That's also part of the problem. | ||
| See, when a guy like you is around me, or, you know, a guy like Tony Hinchcliffe, or people who are just going forward, who live in the comedy life, like you're writing, you're always writing new material, that's empowering. | ||
| I want to be around you guys. | ||
| I want to talk. | ||
| I can't be around them motherfuckers to talk. | ||
| You know as motherfuckers, I've been around motherfuckers that got more bomb material than they got real material. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| You know motherfuckers gotta, oh, that you do. | ||
| I did my bomb set. | ||
| And they're waiting. | ||
| Just one joke don't work and be like, oh, and then they slide into their bomb and shit. | ||
| They bomb set. | ||
| Don't have no bomb material. | ||
| Who the fuck writes material to bomb in? | ||
| Yo, in case they throw tomatoes, I got the old tomato bit. | ||
| My uncle grew tomatoes back. | ||
| That's why that's not going to hurt me. | ||
| Go hard and go home. | ||
| Yeah, it's a ridiculous idea to have a set that you do when the audience is shitty. | ||
| I mean, you know we got certain shit. | ||
| If something come your way, you can bounce off. | ||
| But I'm talking about these motherfuckers actually right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, that's ridiculous. | ||
| In the event that I bomb, it's going to go that way. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| They're bombing bits. | ||
| And I'm a person that just loves doing it. | ||
| Love getting better. | ||
| And I tell people all the time, if you liked any of the things that I've done, whether it was HBO's The Wire, Chappelle's show and other stuff, If you come see me do stand-up, you'll become a complete fan. | ||
| Because like you said earlier, that's the one thing that we control. | ||
| We don't have to have an audition for that shit. | ||
| We don't have to motherfucking get tested for it. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, oh, I made it to the test. | ||
| We don't have to fucking... | ||
| We don't have to pitch it and you know it's a good thing and they say fuck you anyway. | ||
| You can't fuck with us with that. | ||
| It's like, that's what we are, the executive producer, the producer, the line producer, we everything. | ||
| And you can't do it. | ||
| It's us and a motherfucking mic. | ||
| And at the end of the day, no matter what success I feel, Joe, we get with this, whatever level, I'm in your big ass shit, you hit it. | ||
| You know, whether it's TV or movies, Nothing is going to ever be able to take away from you being a flat-footed motherfucker that can stand in an audience and you've built your stand-up name enough where, for the most part of the rest of your life, you'll be able to create a good living off of your name, off of doing stand-up. | ||
| Hollywood don't have to call you for that. | ||
| Yeah, that's big too. | ||
| But if you respect what it is, that you have a relationship with those people, you have to write for them, you have to work on your stuff, you have to be diligent, you have to have an ethic about it. | ||
| You don't want to rip anybody off. | ||
| You want them to see a great show. | ||
| You want to do your best. | ||
| You want to do your best? | ||
| I feel bad. | ||
| And it's so weird. | ||
| You know how we are. | ||
| I could do a show, a comedy club, like 500 people. | ||
| 498 motherfuckers I'm destroying. | ||
| And it's two motherfuckers just not feeling me. | ||
| And I need to get their undefined attention. | ||
| It's like, I don't even hear the laughter. | ||
| I'm like, you don't fucking like me. | ||
| Now let's talk about it. | ||
| You know who's the worst at that? | ||
| Nick DiPaolo. | ||
| Well, he'll go at one person? | ||
| He gets so mad! | ||
| He sees someone like this, and the whole rest of the audience is dying, and someone's giving him the stink eye. | ||
| He's like, what's your fucking problem? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can't, you're just like that, and it's like, and you won't stop until that person doesn't have a problem or they leave. | ||
| Yeah, that's a weird thing, man. | ||
| It's called undivided attention. | ||
| You get committed to wanting everybody to love you. | ||
| That's impossible. | ||
| There's also people that will fuck with you for extra attention. | ||
| They want you to look at them with their arms crossed because they need attention. | ||
| They're the same people that protest shit where it doesn't really necessarily make sense. | ||
| They spend so much time and effort thinking about these things. | ||
| Let me tell you something. | ||
| It's so funny you said about protests because last couple years comedy has been interesting. | ||
| There's a lot of people... | ||
| That are fans of Donald Trump. | ||
| A lot of people that aren't fans of Donald Trump. | ||
| And I think it's petty for you to be upset with anybody because they chose to vote for whoever they chose to vote for. | ||
| I think it's stupid as shit. | ||
| But I will say this past election was interesting in the sense that a lot of people were upset. | ||
| Black people were upset the last election. | ||
| Women were upset. | ||
| Gay people were upset. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But white people were really upset. | |
| Like white people were the angriest. | ||
| And white people did not protest. | ||
| They voted. | ||
| Black people was like, black lives matter. | ||
| White people was like, we'll see about that in the morning. | ||
| And whenever you hear someone says, we'll see about that in the morning, it's going to be some change. | ||
| It's going to be some change. | ||
| But comedy, I don't think comedy should be a place where people exercise anger or be angry. | ||
| How so? | ||
| In what way? | ||
| That, like, being mad. | ||
| Like, when Donald Trump first got elected, you know, personally, like, it was very interesting. | ||
| And I've seen a lot of comics. | ||
| They could just go up there and be like, fuck Donald Trump! | ||
| And just, ah! | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, you could find a way. | ||
| To say, fuck Donald Trump or anybody, but it doesn't have to be fueled with any anger. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It doesn't have to be fueled like, fuck you, be like this. | ||
| Fuck him. | ||
| Okay, why? | ||
| Why do you say that? | ||
| Why do you say fuck him? | ||
| And then allow the reason, but I just don't think that people should be angry about how they feel about... | ||
| I think it's fucked up when politics make people angry. | ||
| It's contrary to what you were saying was great about Chappelle's show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| That the comedy came without being angry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But it made great points. | ||
| But even anybody on both sides could laugh at it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The thing about Trump that's... | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| The job shouldn't exist. | ||
| The job of what? | ||
| President? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It shouldn't exist. | ||
| It's a ridiculous idea to have 300 million people under the guidance of one. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| And that one wins in a popularity contest? | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| It's fucking insane. | ||
| It doesn't make sense. | ||
| It was a great idea back when there were pilgrims and it was a small colony. | ||
| And they just came over on a boat. | ||
| Forget about the rest of this shit. | ||
| There's just too many humans. | ||
| So when you let a guy like that try to be present, you're not going to be happy. | ||
| No one's going to be happy. | ||
| But you're not going to be happy if anybody wins. | ||
| It's untenable. | ||
| Look at Obama. | ||
| Obama aged like how many years? | ||
| In eight years. | ||
| He looked like he aged 20 years. | ||
| They all do that. | ||
| I call it the Ted Danson effect. | ||
| Once chairs got canceled... | ||
| You was like, who the fuck is that? | ||
| Yo, the first time you saw Ted dancing, I'm not talking about years after Cheaters. | ||
| Like, after the first, you're like, goddamn! | ||
| He stopped dying his hair. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| There's something about Trump before that that people enjoyed. | ||
| He was in a lot of rap lyrics. | ||
| Man, he was like the ultimate. | ||
| People would probably still be... | ||
| If he was a rapper instead of wrestling right now, it'd be different. | ||
| He'd still be popular. | ||
| People rapped about him. | ||
| They liked that lifestyle. | ||
| But the thing was, I'll tell you this, my thoughts. | ||
| The thing was, because you thought... | ||
| You knew a person. | ||
| You thought you knew him. | ||
| And even when he got elected, I think a lot of people thought they knew him. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They thought they knew him. | ||
| They thought the image, like, you ain't gonna be the billion-dollar Playboy guy forever, but you thought you knew him. | ||
| But then when you got to know him, you started to think, well, maybe I didn't know him. | ||
| When you got to see him as president. | ||
| Yeah, you get what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, I don't think, even as much as, even how he got elected, people were upset about it. | ||
| But I think a lot of people at some point, they were like, you know what, maybe all of that shit was just to get elected. | ||
| Maybe that energy was to get elected. | ||
| And if that was the case, then he mastered it. | ||
| He mastered how to get connected with his base. | ||
| He mastered how to get not everybody to fuck with you, but just the right amount of people. | ||
| He looked at the numbers. | ||
| It wasn't about the... | ||
| It was a popularity contest, but it was also new, like, these are the people that got hit. | ||
| And he figured that out. | ||
| I think at some point, Joe, people were like, all right. | ||
| Okay, it's over now. | ||
| Let's see who you really are. | ||
| And I think it's so many examples of when you felt like he could have showed people example that he's for everybody opposed to just his base. | ||
| And I think that's what makes people frustrated. | ||
| He gives the impression that, you know, I only care about these people that elected me. | ||
| You won. | ||
| Right? | ||
| But you have responsibility to everybody. | ||
| And I just don't have that feeling. | ||
| Even on my social media, I don't go hard. | ||
| I keep it kind of neutral. | ||
| But I said something and somebody said, well, the last time I checked downhill, the economy was doing well. | ||
| And I said, you can't confuse the economy with humanity. | ||
| And that's the thing, and that's what people don't feel good about. | ||
| You can tout all the numbers you want, black unemployment, all the numbers, but how do people feel? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| They feel represented. | ||
| They don't feel represented. | ||
| They don't feel... | ||
| Like, I could rock either way, bro. | ||
| Democrat, Republican. | ||
| I make enough money where a lot of the views of Republicans are like, yo, that's right up my alley. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, you got that right. | ||
| I'm rich, bitch! | ||
|
unidentified
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And you know, like, I fucked some Republican bitches before. | |
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I get it. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| But at the same time, it's the... | ||
| And it may not sound right to a lot of people, but it's the human factor of it. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, you want to feel good. | ||
| Why so many people don't know the economy is doing well? | ||
| Because they don't feel good. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You want to celebrate. | ||
| You want to cheer. | ||
| You want to feel good about it. | ||
| And that's the whole thing. | ||
| And I think... | ||
| I believe... | ||
| When Obama ran, like his campaign was changed, Donald Trump would make America great again. | ||
| Either one of them could have ran off each other's campaign slogan. | ||
| Do you know after Bush, Obama could have said, make America great again. | ||
| And it would have electrified a debate the same as change. | ||
| True. | ||
| They said the same fucking thing. | ||
| That would be the great thing for Obama to say right after Bush. | ||
| And I'm going to tell you, one thing that kind of... | ||
| I don't know, insulting or get people upset is like, you keep pushing the narrative, make America great again, make America great again. | ||
| You keep pushing it as if America was so fucked up before you took office, and that's not the case. | ||
| Like, when Obama took it from Bush, he was making America great again. | ||
| You're talking about a shit show. | ||
| And the thing that people, however you took it, respected or not, it was never nothing laced with anger. | ||
| It was never, it wasn't no, yo, you see this mess Bush left me? | ||
| It was never like, ah, this motherfucker. | ||
| It was never no mention. | ||
| Do you see that new movie about Bush? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you see it? | |
| I didn't see it either. | ||
| What's it called, Jamie? | ||
| Is it out? | ||
| The one with Vice? | ||
| Yeah, Vice. | ||
| About Dick Cheney and George Bush. | ||
| Whenever I think about it, I say the movie about getting shot in the face. | ||
| Because that's the only scene I want to see. | ||
| Well, the thing about Bush and Cheney is that movie kind of makes it seem like Cheney was the guy pulling the strings, and Bush was this simple, happy-go-lucky guy who they just roped into being president because he was the son of a president. | ||
| That's not far-fetched, though. | ||
| It's not far-fetched at all. | ||
| It's not at all. | ||
| Not even remotely. | ||
| I think I actually agree with it. | ||
| When I think about Bush now, I don't think about him in a negative way, but I think about Cheney in a negative way. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I think about Halliburton. | ||
| I think about all the rebuilding of the places that we blew up. | ||
| All the crazy shit. | ||
| From Dick Cheney. | ||
| Coming from Dick Cheney. | ||
| No-bid contracts that are worth billions of dollars to rebuild. | ||
| You know, it's interesting you say that about the Bush because if I had... | ||
| I know it may sound crazy. | ||
| If I had to have a pick of who I would have wanted to be the Republican candidate, it was on the Republican side. | ||
| I like Jeb Bush. | ||
| I didn't really get to know him at all. | ||
| There was something that I don't know. | ||
| I don't know too much about it. | ||
| I just thought that... | ||
| He was kind of like a mama's boy. | ||
| I think he probably, out of all the kids, I probably think that he probably was the one that thought a little outside of what their norm was. | ||
| I think he was a successful businessman, too. | ||
| Yeah, they didn't marry a Latino chick, if I'm not mistaken. | ||
| I don't know about them. | ||
| But I just, I don't know, but Bush, I mean, Trump fucked him up. | ||
| He did fuck him up. | ||
| Yo, how do you fuck motherfuckers up with just nicknames? | ||
| I felt like he wanted to lay down. | ||
| I felt like Jeb wanted to lay down. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I felt like the pressure got to him. | ||
| Trump put all the motherfuckers, like, you were safe until you got your nickname. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Once you got Lion. | ||
| Yeah, Lion 10. No energy. | ||
| No energy, Jim. | ||
| You know that motherfucker was like, he can name rap artists. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, it was a smart thing he did that no one's ever done before. | ||
| It's a lot of things. | ||
| Even when Obama got elected, you know what got Obama elected was Facebook and $5 contributions, $5 donations. | ||
| When Obama was running, he was the first person to use Facebook the way he did. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Oh, man, they have so many. | ||
| Every goddamn day, it was Obama asking. | ||
| He wouldn't ask for, like, millions. | ||
| He was just like a dude in the hood. | ||
| Yo, let me hold $5, right? | ||
| Like, I would get an email, hey, this is Barack Obama. | ||
| Yo, let me hold $10, right? | ||
| And I was like, yeah, here you go, $10, right? | ||
| And then a week later, he asked for fucking $20, right? | ||
| And then he would ask for 10 again, and then it got so bad, then Michelle would send me an email. | ||
| But he just, he'd nickel and dime America, and that's what supported his campaign. | ||
| And the fact that he was right at the turn of a form of media that you could use to your advantage. | ||
| He was the Facebook guy. | ||
| He reached people to Facebook. | ||
| Donald Trump was doing the same thing through Twitter. | ||
| I can reach people. | ||
| Why does he tweet so much? | ||
| Why does he tweet so much every day? | ||
| Because he knows motherfuckers would rather pick up a phone and read a treat than to read a newspaper. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| All I need is headlines. | ||
| Yeah, way more people reading tweets versus newspapers, right? | ||
| I'd be stunned. | ||
| Like, if you could get to see that exact engagement in a good article in the New York Times on the front page versus one of Donald Trump's tweets. | ||
| The only two people that motherfuckers are just waiting for their tweets to come out is Donald Trump and Kanye West. | ||
| Those are the two most interesting tweet people. | ||
| Kanye West could just say grapefruit juice and fuck up all of the media the next day. | ||
| What do you think he meant? | ||
| Do you think he meant he was hungry? | ||
| Or he was thirsty. | ||
| Kanye just tweeted grapefruit juice. | ||
| One of the most interesting tweeters out there. | ||
| You wait for a Kanye West tweet. | ||
| Well, he's got a free way of expressing himself. | ||
| He has an unfiltered way of expressing himself. | ||
| And a lot of people have mixed feelings about it, mixed views. | ||
| I know the black community is a little stressed out right now. | ||
| Well, because of his Trump thing, but you know what? | ||
| I don't know how much of that. | ||
| There's two things. | ||
| One, Obama called him a jackass. | ||
| That could weigh on you. | ||
| That stung a little bit. | ||
| And then when Obama's gone, Trump takes office. | ||
| Trump is willing to let him talk. | ||
| Trump will charm him. | ||
| And here's the thing, Joe, with that said, I do white clubs, black clubs, whatever. | ||
| I do all types of clubs. | ||
| But the thing is, first off, Kanye West has a voice. | ||
| Not too many... | ||
| As much as black people want to throw talent on them, we don't have too many voices that everybody is waiting to hear. | ||
| Whatever comes out, he has a voice. | ||
| I believe that Kanye West is trying to say something. | ||
| I just don't know what the fuck he's trying to say because I'm not fluent in Yeezy. | ||
| I barely know Swahili. | ||
| I can't do Swahili and Yeezy. | ||
| And I think he's trying to say something, but if there was some type of interpreter... | ||
| You know, and this would be a dope... | ||
| If Chappelle shows right now, this would be a dope-ass skit. | ||
| Kanye Way says something, and then Dave Chappelle is his conscious interpreter. | ||
| That would be hilarious. | ||
| Kanye says, and then Dave yells out, You know what I think? | ||
| I only talked to him once on the phone, but what I think from studying him and paying attention, because we're supposed to eventually do a podcast one day... | ||
| Is that I think he thinks different. | ||
| He does. | ||
| He connects dots different. | ||
| And that's one of the reasons why he's so prolific with music. | ||
| But that's the point I'm making, Joe. | ||
| And that's the point I'm saying about not speaking easy. | ||
| And some people that think like that, they don't know how to get it out. | ||
| It's like just speaking. | ||
| But I've been thinking about this a lot. | ||
| You're Superman. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| You're my dad. | ||
| You're my superhero, you're my dad. | ||
| You're like my father. | ||
| You know how hard that was for the black community to hear them say that part? | ||
| Fuck, you can sell them a plane all you want, but when you say you're like my father, and then black people are sitting back like, could you please explain that? | ||
| So we think, then this was funny to me, then Kanye said, yeah, you're like a father figure to me. | ||
| Like, when I was younger, I thought he was going to hit me with the horrific, you know, father was in a shootout, a drive-by. | ||
| And this would fuck me up, bruh. | ||
| He said, yeah, when I was younger, my parents separated at a young age. | ||
|
unidentified
|
First off, you had parents. | |
| You already winning, motherfucker. | ||
| None of my niggas had parents! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha! | |
| They had my mother and my father, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Not only that, okay, okay, come on, friends. | ||
| I didn't have parents, but he said, my parents separated. | ||
| I mean, they were married. | ||
| That's two wins. | ||
| You up two before you even get to, and they separated, and mom moved down the street. | ||
| You still got to see your fucking father. | ||
| So that was a little troubling. | ||
| But the whole thing is, I'm pretty sure at some point Kanye West will be able to speak a language that everybody can understand. | ||
| Until then, it's only a handful of people that speak it and understand it and also write it. | ||
| But here's my problem with all this, and I've been thinking about this a lot. | ||
| They want to medicate him, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look how effective he is. | ||
| Just stop and think about culturally effective in terms of the music that he makes, that people love, his influence. | ||
| He creates clothes. | ||
| He's married. | ||
| He creates conversation and dialogue, too. | ||
| He does. | ||
| His wife makes hundreds of millions of dollars. | ||
| They're insanely wealthy, insanely successful. | ||
| If you want to talk about overall success, they're together. | ||
| They have children. | ||
| They're super wealthy. | ||
| Of He produces incredible art that's loved worldwide, and they want to medicate him. | ||
| Just stop and think about how effective... | ||
| But they want to medicate him to operate at what level, though? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Think about how effective he is. | ||
| On medication or off? | ||
| Off. | ||
| When he's off medication, he said himself he's his most creative. | ||
| Stop and think about how creative he's been, how successful he's been, how well-received. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Happy in all these other elements in his life. | ||
| But yet they want him to act the way they want him to act. | ||
| Well, black people just want him to take the hat off. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I mean, whatever, bro. | ||
| You can say whatever the fuck you want. | ||
| The black people wasn't mad because he wore the hat. | ||
| They was mad because he wasn't a fitted. | ||
| They was looking for a new era. | ||
| If that was a new era, they would have been more accepting of it, man. | ||
| We just don't want the hat, son. | ||
| It's red and white now. | ||
| That's a problem. | ||
| Anything with red, with white letters, someone will punch you. | ||
| Yo, I'm telling you, it's like, when I see... | ||
| It's so funny now. | ||
| Whenever I see a red hat, I'm like... | ||
| Like, I'm immediately... | ||
| But I did a show upstate New York, and it was this white dude came up to me after the show, and he didn't have what looked like a Make America Great Again hat. | ||
| He had a Make America Great Again hat, and it looked like he had the original one. | ||
| You know how you got a Boston fan, and you're like, you've only been a fan. | ||
| He was a fan of America, Make America Great before it. | ||
| He probably sold the hashtag to him. | ||
| But here's the thing, yo. | ||
| This motherfucker had the hat on and shit, and at the end of the show... | ||
| He was one of the dudes that continued to laugh the most, you know? | ||
| And I went up to him, and I was like, yo, I gotta get a picture with you. | ||
| And I took the picture, and it was a video. | ||
| I was like, yeah, motherfucker. | ||
| Y'all see his hat? | ||
| And he started laughing. | ||
| And we had a good moment. | ||
| It wasn't no... | ||
| I wasn't angry at him. | ||
| I'm not gonna let... | ||
| I think... | ||
| It's hard to get away from it, but I think... | ||
| Kanye with the hat, he likes the idea of how it gets people flustered. | ||
| He's a contrarian in a lot of ways. | ||
| Your special was triggered, right? | ||
| Yeah, one of them was. | ||
| Excuse me. | ||
| No, but I'm saying it's like triggered. | ||
| When a guy had the hat on that I was talking to, I heard on the side it was like this, oh, he's triggered. | ||
| And I wasn't. | ||
| I wasn't triggered by that. | ||
| What I would have been triggered by is how you make me feel. | ||
| With that hat? | ||
| No, period. | ||
| Period. | ||
| You know, you could come at me like... | ||
| You could come at me with the hat on with some fucked up energy and I could feel it. | ||
| But the energy he gave me was like... | ||
| I know this may sound crazy. | ||
| He was like, yo, you're a funny motherfucker. | ||
| With the hat on? | ||
| You're like, okay. | ||
| I didn't give a fuck. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because I couldn't let him... | ||
| I couldn't let him make me feel like if that's what his intent was, he was going to make me feel uncomfortable. | ||
| I couldn't do it. | ||
| Do you think he was trying to make you feel uncomfortable? | ||
| That's who he was. | ||
| I think that's who he was. | ||
| But I know that motherfucker would laugh like a motherfucker. | ||
| At a comedy club, that's all you can ask for. | ||
| It's all you can want. | ||
| Yeah, that's all you can want. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now, you got the right perspective, man. | ||
| Looking at it all the right way. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Man, it's like, at the end of the day, you got good people and you got bad people. | ||
| And it's who do you choose to be? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You want to be on the good side or the bad side. | ||
| And it's easy. | ||
| Man, it's... | ||
| I know Sam Corny, Rodney King said, can we all just get along? | ||
| We all could get along. | ||
| If motherfuckers just remove the hate. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you know who I always look at? | ||
| We can get along, the three of us in this room. | ||
| We have no problems. | ||
| So when people expand out, what goes wrong? | ||
| Like, something goes wrong when you get to, like, three million. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Just humans as people expand out. | ||
| You get a couple of people together and most people could be fine together. | ||
| Most people. | ||
| The vast majority. | ||
| It's when you get to large numbers. | ||
| It gets fucked up. | ||
| It gets fucked up. | ||
| It's almost like people are supposed to live in small towns. | ||
| You know, with a bunch of cool people. | ||
| Like, small town with a bunch of assholes would suck. | ||
| But small towns with all... | ||
| How about if we lived in a small town with all comedians? | ||
| If I lived in a small town right now, I would be a... | ||
| If I lived in a small town right now, I would be a grandfather. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| What do you do in small towns? | ||
| You drink and fuck our babies. | ||
| Yeah, but I mean, a small town, a community, let me say, filled with comedians. | ||
| It would be a lot of murders. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yo, comedians will actually kill each other, man. | ||
| I can't even, like, I can't, it's just only a certain amount of comedians I can be around at one time. | ||
| Because then it started getting, you know, there's motherfuckers jockeying for the best joke. | ||
| There's some that are like that, but there's some that lay back and they're laughers. | ||
| Those are snipers. | ||
| Those are snipers. | ||
| Yeah, they're snipers. | ||
| They got their breathing pattern right. | ||
| They know when you pull that trigger, it's supposed to shock you. | ||
| It's supposed to sight you every time. | ||
| Yeah, they don't throw any loose bombs. | ||
| None of that shit. | ||
| They got that sniper finger. | ||
| Yeah, that's a good way of putting it. | ||
| That's a very good way of putting it. | ||
| So snipers and the motherfucking grunts, they go out there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was in the military for four years. | ||
| Were you really? | ||
| Yeah, Air Force. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Air Force? | |
| I was a cop in the military. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Nobody believes I was the worst cop ever. | ||
| I've made one arrest in four years. | ||
| And that was because a girl came through the gate. | ||
| She had some big titties. | ||
| And I decided that I needed to pull her over. | ||
| But I was the worst fucking cop, and I had to get out of the military 'cause I used to hear this phrase all the time. | ||
| Airman Rawlins, your blatant disregard for established military policy shows a lack of military brain and integrity. | ||
| I was like, these motherfuckers are going to gun and kick me out. | ||
| Air Force four years. | ||
| I was a cop. | ||
| Stationed in Kunsan, Korea. | ||
| Stationed in Boland. | ||
| NUICO. Tongsan NCO. NUNA. Wow. | ||
| Four years military. | ||
| Three years. | ||
| Two years in Korea. | ||
| Two years at Boland Air Force Base. | ||
| And I got out and just randomly went to a comedy club. | ||
| Became a heckler. | ||
| I was an asshole. | ||
| I used to go to this comedy club every Wednesday to fuck with the comedians. | ||
| Where was it? | ||
| Comedy Connection to Greenbelt. | ||
| It was like the black comedy club in D.C. This was a time when Martin Lawrence was on fire, the Def Jam thing was popping, and they had on black comedy clubs. | ||
| It would be a pizza shop. | ||
| They'll just turn, okay, now it's a comedy club. | ||
| Monique had a club that she made turn from a restaurant to a comedy club just because she got more business on the weekend as a comedy club than a restaurant and just took it over. | ||
| And I used to go heckle the comedians. | ||
| And I was such a good heckler that people used to come to the show to hear me heckle. | ||
| They would be at the door like, yo, is that asshole dude going to be here tonight? | ||
| And that was me. | ||
| The club owner dared me to go on stage because he wanted to shut me up. | ||
| Joe, I was so cocky. | ||
| After four weeks of heckling, I tried to make a deal with the club owner. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| I swear. | ||
| I was like, look. | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| I said, I know I've increased business by 30%. | ||
| No. | ||
| We need to start working on the door there. | ||
| He looked at me like, what the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| Anybody in D.C. tell you this story? | ||
| And they wanted me to shut up. | ||
| They asked me to go on stage. | ||
| And I went on stage. | ||
| And the first time I went on, I murdered the shit. | ||
| And I knew that I wasn't going to be doing anything else with my life but doing it. | ||
| I just knew it. | ||
| It was just like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
How did it feel? | |
| It felt great. | ||
| Do you remember it? | ||
| I remember it because... | ||
| It flashes in your mind? | ||
| I remember it because I had talked so much shit to this point... | ||
| And the thing about it was, but the energy of the room was there because there was a lot of people that came, they saw me. | ||
| When are you going to go? | ||
| They were like, you should try it. | ||
| The first time I went on, people were excited about it. | ||
| They didn't know what to expect. | ||
| I wrote all these jokes. | ||
| I'm like, I got 30 minutes. | ||
| I was so cocky. | ||
| We used to have an open mic. | ||
| Open mic list is like 30 people. | ||
| I would be like 10 on the list. | ||
| They would keep bumping me. | ||
| I thought they were just trying to save me the headline. | ||
| I didn't think they were just trying to give me the shittiest spot. | ||
| But half the club came to see me, so they would stay there. | ||
| And that first time I went on, I had all these jokes I planned I was going to do. | ||
| And when I went on stage, I drew a complete blank. | ||
| I don't remember shit. | ||
| And then I went what I knew best. | ||
| I started fucking with somebody in the audience. | ||
| I got a laugh. | ||
| And then I did my material. | ||
| And I didn't know what the light was. | ||
| They gave me the light. | ||
| And I was like, oh, I gotta go! | ||
| Like, you know what the light means? | ||
| Just make that your last joke. | ||
| And I got off abruptly. | ||
| I said, I gotta go. | ||
| And people started booing. | ||
| The host went up. | ||
| And they was like, no, Daniel, he doesn't know. | ||
| He's new. | ||
| It was his first time. | ||
| He don't know what the light means. | ||
| He was like, he'll be back. | ||
| And I was there almost every Wednesday for eight months. | ||
| And then I moved to New York for six months. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I said, I'm out of here. | ||
| Where'd you go first? | ||
| Club-wise? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Or live? | ||
| Either one. | ||
| Brooklyn. | ||
| Brooklyn, you live? | ||
| Brooklyn was a bar out. | ||
| That's why to this day. | ||
| But it was interesting to me because I didn't go from D.C. to mainstream white clubs. | ||
| I was doing still the ghetto rooms and shit. | ||
| And a lot of times I couldn't get spots. | ||
| So I would go to the poetry open mics. | ||
| Because that shit used to be so dull. | ||
| The water was shifting, the wave, wave. | ||
| And I'd be like, does anybody want a break for this shit? | ||
| Right? | ||
| And then I would go do jokes when I couldn't do comedy because I would do that until I started making a name for myself and never looked back. | ||
| It was dope. | ||
| New York is a great place to get your chops up. | ||
| What year did you enter New York? | ||
| It had to be probably like... | ||
| 95? | ||
| Probably like 95. Yeah, I'd already moved. | ||
| I'd left in 94 to come to LA. Oh yeah? | ||
| When did you get out here? | ||
| I got out here like 7 years ago. | ||
| Maybe 8 years ago. | ||
| And it was because my situation was different because I wasn't getting a lot of road work. | ||
| And I was like, well, fuck it. | ||
| If I'm not getting a lot of road work, I might as well try to get more film and television stuff to move out to L.A. And then when I moved out here, I started getting more personal appearances. | ||
| So basically, I moved to L.A. and became a road comic. | ||
| And I wasn't mad at it because after you doing it for a while, you just want to, where the fuck can I make money doing this shit? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| If it's the road, it's the road. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| If it's Hollywood, it's Hollywood. | ||
| But who was going to pay me some money? | ||
| And it was the road. | ||
| And until now, like I do 40 weekends a year, but with me having a young kid now, I'm trying to focus more on film and television and get some more stable shit because I'm getting a little, you know, it's getting burnt. | ||
| I hate to say this because I've said it too many times, but you should have a podcast. | ||
| I've heard that. | ||
| Shout out to beauty and humor, man! | ||
| Dude, I've started a thousand podcasts. | ||
| I need to start yours. | ||
| I'm with it. | ||
| Yo, I'm telling you. | ||
| You should do it, 100%. | ||
| I used to do, and I miss, I used to do radio. | ||
| I did radio, I did Hot 97, but I would love to do a podcast. | ||
| You're a natural. | ||
| You could have the number one podcast in the country. | ||
| No bullshit, 100%. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| Don't you think, Jamie? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It'd be easy. | ||
| You just need someone to make you an account. | ||
| Shit, you could upload it literally from your iPhone or whatever phone you use. | ||
| You put a little microphone in the bottom of it. | ||
| I do. | ||
| I do. | ||
| And another reason why, because I always want to talk. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| But you've been in the game for a while. | ||
| Nine years. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| Almost ten. | ||
| But you were... | ||
| You consider yourself a pioneer? | ||
| No. | ||
| There's people before me, for sure. | ||
| I was just one of the early adopters. | ||
| I'd say an early adopter, but it was already established. | ||
| Adam Curry had one. | ||
| I think he invented the name podcast. | ||
| And then Adam Carolla went from radio to podcast. | ||
| And that's when I was like, oh. | ||
| Oh, wait a minute. | ||
| Was he a radio personality before he was doing the man show? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| He did the man show. | ||
| Well, he was a radio personality first. | ||
| Then he did the man show. | ||
| And I think he did radio during the same time. | ||
| He did Love Line. | ||
| Yeah, during the same time. | ||
| And then after that, he had a big-time syndicated morning radio show. | ||
| And I did his radio show a couple times. | ||
| And then when he left his radio show and went to podcasts, he got this professional studio built and everything. | ||
| And I went to visit him. | ||
| And I was like, whoa. | ||
| And I remember walking around the place going, look at this shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, look at this shit. | |
| Like I was when I came here, right? | ||
| Same thing, man. | ||
| I'm like, who the fuck got a wolf? | ||
| And not a wolf from here, from London, yo! | ||
| I saw shit that I've never seen motherfuckers. | ||
| I'm like, what is that? | ||
| A point? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| What is that called right there? | ||
| That's an elk. | ||
| Elk. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What are the people that, um, that, uh, that make that? | ||
| What are they called? | ||
| That's a profession. | ||
| Taxidermy, but that's only when they put, like, the fake, when they put the fur over it and the fake eyeballs and shit. | ||
| Is that yours? | ||
| That's mine. | ||
| Yeah, that's an actual real skull. | ||
| That's what they call a European mount when they just have the skull and the antlers. | ||
| That's where I get my food from. | ||
| I'm cooking an elk roast tonight when I get out of here. | ||
| And it's from him? | ||
| Not that one. | ||
| Not that one. | ||
| I ate that one already. | ||
| I ate that one down the bone. | ||
| See, that's some man shit, man. | ||
| Yo, if I go tell my boys I'm eating elk, they be like, you change, son. | ||
| I think you gay, son. | ||
| Yo, he gay, son. | ||
| He had cottage cheese the other day. | ||
| That motherfucker say he a vegan and he eating elk. | ||
| Oh, no, son. | ||
| He trying to do them fucking $5 footlongs with Smollett. | ||
| Smolletta. | ||
| How do you say his name? | ||
| Smollett. | ||
| That poor guy. | ||
| Let me ask you this. | ||
| How does that guy come back from that? | ||
| He doesn't. | ||
| Ever? | ||
| No, because he's going to How does he feed himself? | ||
| The way he feeds himself, because he's still gonna have a base. | ||
| The base he's gonna have is like... | ||
| The motherfuckers would be like, fuck it, I would have did the same thing. | ||
| Ooh, that's not a good group of people. | ||
| You said it might not be a good group of people the way you think it, but for him, it's a group of people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| There's going to be still some people that want to hear his side of the story. | ||
| Everybody's not dismissive of him. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And some people still hold on to like, well, maybe some people are just going to, you know, like, I refuse to believe it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Point blank. | ||
| Well, he's still denying it. | ||
| He's saying that they're lying. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| That's the latest thing. | ||
| But, you know, I don't know. | ||
| Maybe I don't know. | ||
| It doesn't look good. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Them dudes was in it. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think something else was going on, bro. | ||
| I think something did. | ||
| I think he was possibly paying them for something else. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| Not just to beat my ass. | ||
| Thank you, guys. | ||
| Alright, I got some other ways we can make money. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Again, it's just... | ||
| It's so fucked up, bro, because you have... | ||
| Like, it's so fucked up. | ||
| My older brother is gay. | ||
| And with that situation, it kind of rung... | ||
| Home to me, because when it first was put out like this, I wish the fuck somebody would try to violate my brother or disrespect my brother. | ||
| I know how at arms I'd be ready to go. | ||
| So I had that, and that's what's so fucked about the whole shit. | ||
| He had so many people that was riding for him for different reasons, man. | ||
| And it's like really selfish for you to not give a fuck about how you're going to hurt people. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Maybe he didn't realize how bad it would go wrong. | ||
| Man, bro. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| You going for the gates. | ||
| When you're saying throwing fucking bleach on me, you trying to trigger motherfuckers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You trying to trigger for Alvin Sale. | ||
| Didn't he say he was a gay Tupac? | ||
| He said that. | ||
| I ain't no killer, but don't push me. | ||
| Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to getting... | ||
| Well, he didn't say the pussy part. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| He said that he was a gay... | ||
| He already had his movie in his head! | ||
| That's so ridiculous. | ||
| I fought back! | ||
| I'm the gay two part. | ||
| He already had his hashtag. | ||
| He probably bought the white website. | ||
| I don't want to stop this podcast, but I gotta pee so bad. | ||
| I did two podcasts in a row. | ||
| So talk to Jamie for just two minutes. | ||
| I gotta take a leak. | ||
| What is that right here? | ||
| I'll take one of those. | ||
| Is that a pre-roll? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Word. | ||
| I'll be right back. | ||
| I just have to pee so bad. | ||
| I ain't mad at you, son. | ||
| You got a lighter right there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Look, just know you're in LA. It's like this. | ||
| Is this an indica or a sativa? | ||
| There is some extra spice in there, too. | ||
| There's a little extra, like, I think it's called butter. | ||
| Butter? | ||
| That's like wax. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a little bit. | ||
| You can't really tell, to be honest with you. | ||
| That's how white boys set you up. | ||
| Ah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, like, no, just eat half the ear. | ||
| You'll be okay. | ||
| How many people still come up to you about The Wire? | ||
| I know, obviously, Chappelle's show, but... | ||
| You know, the funny thing about the people that come up to me, The Wire, they identify by themselves as instant intellects. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, people, it's almost like they're cocky, like, I know you're on Chappelle and a couple other things, but you know where I really love you from? | ||
| The Wire. | ||
| That was a dope experience. | ||
| Did you ever watch HBO's The Corner? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I started, I think I got, I feel like it was six episodes and I watched three of them. | ||
| I didn't watch all of it. | ||
| I was in that. | ||
| I played a heroin addict. | ||
| A lot of people don't know. | ||
| If you were a fan of The Wire, you've definitely been a fan of The Corner because so many of the actors came back to do The Wire. | ||
| After I watched The Wire, I wanted more and more content like that, so I went back and tried to watch it, but I actually enjoyed re-watching The Wire more. | ||
| I liked the show, and my character was supposed to build out more, but the Baltimore Tourism Board was upset that every time someone goes shooting Baltimore, they depict it as a It's a drug infested, pretty much what it is. | ||
| So that's why they went from, if you notice the shift in the writing, they went from the towers to the docks. | ||
| Like, how the fuck do we get to the docks? | ||
| That's because they didn't just want to be in the hood like that. | ||
| But David Simon, he was... | ||
| He was like, yo, I liked what you did. | ||
| So they brought me back for the last season. | ||
| I've tried to get Joe to watch it, but it's 10 years old now, so it's hard to get back into an old show. | ||
| But it's so good, so many people love it that way. | ||
| People are like, they were definitely... | ||
| Why are fanatics? | ||
| And when they brought me back to last season, I was nervous because HBO, the last season of any show on HBO, the writers get vindictive and they do nasty shit to the characters. | ||
| Like, to the last season of Oz, it was dudes getting raped on Oz that weren't even on Oz. | ||
| They was like, dude, I'm on Nickelodeon. | ||
| I'm just trying to get to the bathroom, man. | ||
| But they was right to me. | ||
| I didn't get raped the last season and it was fun. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I've got to settle down and choose it for a run. | ||
| Just get in. | ||
| You've just got to watch it because it's so good. | ||
| His character comes up at the best time. | ||
| Not to spoiler alert it, but to follow the money starts with him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's why if you're a fan, you know that... | |
| My role would have been, like, if they didn't switch the tone, if they would have kept it in the towers, my shit was... | ||
| Because I was the connection between the streets and the politics. | ||
| I know I could have blown that character out. | ||
| And when I first got busted, when I was in the room, I was trying to... | ||
| I was going to rob the mansion. | ||
| And when I tell you, Daniel, he said, what's your name? | ||
| I said, my name is Day-Day. | ||
| My name is Day-Day, but they mostly call me Damien, right? | ||
| And then he said, my name is Daniel. | ||
| And they mostly called me Lieutenant. | ||
| And this is after I had already said how I would rob the whole crib because I thought he was a driver with me. | ||
| And that character should have been off by then. | ||
| But it was a good opportunity. | ||
| It was another cool platform. | ||
| It was dope. | ||
| I can honestly say whatever happens in my career, I was on two shows that go down in television history. | ||
| Yeah, I believe you about The Wire. | ||
| I mean, everybody says it. | ||
| I never settled down and watched it. | ||
| But for sure, Chappelle's Show is the greatest sketch comedy. | ||
| It's number one and number two is like that and in living color. | ||
| And you can pick your spot depending upon when you grew up and what it meant to you. | ||
| Because for a lot of people, in living color too, because it was on Fox, you didn't have to have cable to get it. | ||
| It was on Fox when they had to have cable. | ||
| Did you have to have cable via Fox? | ||
| No. | ||
| It was regular TV. But then it was new, too, because it was, for the most part, an all-black cast. | ||
| All-black cast with dancers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And you didn't see that. | |
| Dancers. | ||
| It was like they took everything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fly girls. | |
| Jennifer Lopez. | ||
| Everybody was making money and getting ass when that was out. | ||
| I don't even think they... | ||
| The Wayans... | ||
| I think, who was it? | ||
| Sean was a DJ. I don't even think he knew how to DJ, but Kenan had that fucking vision, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He had that vision. | ||
| Who's like... | ||
| How many seasons did that go? | ||
| I don't know, probably six. | ||
| But did it really go that many? | ||
| Yeah, that was the show. | ||
| Every comedian hoped that every year they would come around and say, they're looking for new people who live in color. | ||
| And every city was just busting doors down and trying to get an audition. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I remember watching it for the first time. | ||
| I was at a pool hall. | ||
| In, like, Yonkers, New York. | ||
| And I looked up at the screen. | ||
| Me and a buddy of mine, my friend John Tobin, we were playing pool and we were watching the show. | ||
| I was like, what in the fuck are they doing? | ||
| Like, there's a dude with no lips. | ||
| When Fire Marshal Bill came out, I was like, what the fuck am I seeing? | ||
| Yo, Jim Carrey was an animal, man. | ||
| He was, again, like, once you saw him, you just started laughing. | ||
| Yeah, he was an animal. | ||
| I mean, how many times? | ||
| What do we have now? | ||
| Homie the Clown. | ||
| Homie the Clown. | ||
| Homie don't play that. | ||
| Girls would always say that. | ||
| Paul Mooney wrote the Homie the Clown character. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Did he? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| It was groundbreaking. | ||
| It was Wanda. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Jamie Foxx played one. | ||
| But just look at that. | ||
| That's funny, right? | ||
| Talk about how dope of a career that motherfucker had. | ||
| Jamie Foxx go from that to Oscar. | ||
| That motherfucker can do anything. | ||
| He can do anything. | ||
| And sing. | ||
| Yeah, we've talked about it before. | ||
| He's got that weird ability to do anything. | ||
| Like when Mike Tyson was talking about Jamie playing him. | ||
| You know, he was... | ||
| Oh, Jamie was going to play him? | ||
| Apparently he is. | ||
| Oh, I know he's going to kill him. | ||
| He's going to kill it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's going to kill it. | |
| He can do anything. | ||
| He can sing. | ||
| He's got great stories, man. | ||
| Had him on the podcast. | ||
| He's got great, great stories. | ||
| And he's just a good guy. | ||
| Anytime... | ||
| I've ran into any time I've talked to him. | ||
| He's always been a really cool dude. | ||
| Good dude, man. | ||
| Yeah, he's very friendly. | ||
| Last time I saw him was at a gas station. | ||
| He's got some crazy fucking truck. | ||
| Some weird thing. | ||
| I was like, what is that? | ||
| I never even saw one of those things before. | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| I think he's got a whole bunch of what you've never seen before. | ||
| You know, like, what is that? | ||
| Oh, that was from... | ||
| It's some new custom-made weird fucking truck. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It looks like something from the future. | ||
| Does he drive it or just... | ||
| He was driving it. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was, uh... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Good dude. | ||
| He never... | ||
| Did he do it? | ||
| No. | ||
| I think he's doing more stand-up again. | ||
| I think he's doing more stand-up. | ||
| That's a tough thing to do, too, probably, to get that level as an international A-list superstar to still have the passion to do stand-up. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You've got to want it. | ||
| You've got to want to do it for some strange reason. | ||
| You let the motherfuckers peers in your group know I still got it, motherfucker. | ||
| You know who did? | ||
| Did you ever see that thing, it was about maybe a year or so ago, right when Bill Cosby was in the heat of all his trouble, where Eddie Murphy did some stand-up on a dais, like in front of a platform? | ||
| Yeah, that was for, it was an award he got at the Kennedy Center. | ||
| It was some type of cultural show. | ||
| I can't remember exactly the name of it, but I remember, I think Dave was a part of that too. | ||
| That was a big deal. | ||
| But what got me was how good he was. | ||
| I was like, God damn, he's good. | ||
| He's a comedian. | ||
| You know, even though he's not using the stage platform, you know he sits around Or it's like, oh shit, that would be funny. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| I mean, he had this whole routine about them taking Bill Cosby's doctorate degree away from him. | ||
| He had this whole bit about it when he was doing a Bill Cosby impression. | ||
| I'm telling you, man, his timing was... | ||
| That would be so good to see him do it again. | ||
| That's what I'm thinking. | ||
| It was so powerful, I was like, god damn, we missed out on years of this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Years. | |
| Yeah, you're like, what would he talk about? | ||
| He's like probably close to being a grand man. | ||
| Can you play a little bit of this? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| It's only a minute long. | ||
| Just give me a little bit. | ||
| Just give me a little bit. | ||
| Okay, it's got a bunch of music in it. | ||
| Here it goes. | ||
| Bill has one of these. | ||
| He says... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did y'all make Bill give his back? | |
| You know you f***ed up when they want you to give your trophies back. | ||
| Man, we missed out on him hosting the Oscars, man. | ||
| Dude, I'm telling you, when you watch him do this routine, you go, oh my god, he's still got it. | ||
| It's Eddie motherfucking Murphy. | ||
| I know, but he hasn't done any stand-up in forever, and it was like he's been doing it every day. | ||
| Yeah, but you gotta look at it when he came on like certain people are just naturals, bro. | ||
| But it's so sad that he hasn't been doing it, man. | ||
| When you stop and think, go from raw... | ||
| You know, delirious to raw to nothing for all these years. | ||
| And he might be, if he's not... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Not nothing. | |
| I wouldn't say nothing. | ||
| International movie star. | ||
| You know, but not... | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| I mean, nothing in terms of his do-it-stand-up. | ||
| Gotcha. | ||
| That's all I mean. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| He's an international movie star. | ||
| But he could have been one of the greatest of all time if he isn't already. | ||
| I mean, he is already. | ||
| If you have a top 10, you got to kind of put Eddie Murphy in there. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| But he could be number one ever. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If he just kept doing it. | ||
| But he made his mark. | ||
| It would just be interesting. | ||
| But he made his mark. | ||
| Nobody was fucking doing it. | ||
| Like, we got big names and stuff now, but Eddie Murphy was just like... | ||
| Everybody was talking about him. | ||
| Like his special job, the next day everybody was quoting lines from it. | ||
| I watched it with my friend Jimmy and with a bunch of his friends. | ||
| And we were probably like 18 or something like that. | ||
| Like maybe. | ||
| 17, 18. Delirious. | ||
| And I remember we were just like, everyone was stunned. | ||
| Everyone was sitting back on the couch going... | ||
| God, that was incredible. | ||
| Dice Clay had that energy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dice Clay had everybody. | ||
| That was like what you said, when specials were really special. | ||
| It wasn't very many of them. | ||
| It was a couple of them, and then whoever that person was, you knew you were going to see them on TV or somewhere for like the next two years. | ||
| Easy. | ||
| Dude, I found out about Kinison from a girl that worked the front desk at a health club that it worked at. | ||
| I used to work at this Nautilus Plus. | ||
| I was going to say, what the fuck was he doing in there? | ||
| I worked at this Nautilus Plus in Revere. | ||
| It was Revere, Massachusetts. | ||
| It's like this fitness place. | ||
| No, that wasn't Nautilus Plus. | ||
| That was the Boston Athletic Club in South Boston. | ||
| That's where it was. | ||
| Anyway, there's a girl who worked the front desk. | ||
| She goes, I saw this comedian last night. | ||
| You gotta fucking see him. | ||
| He's the most amazing comedian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He did this joke about gay people, fucking dead people. | |
| Yo, do you know that bit? | ||
| No, I don't know that, but Jess Sentence is 20 years old. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| That sentence is 20 years old. | ||
| The thing you just said. | ||
| He did this bit about gay people fucking so and so. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Motherfucker couldn't even probably try to think about saying that on stage now. | ||
| Right, it would be rough. | ||
| It would be rough. | ||
| But the way he said it, the way Kinnison said it, you know, she was saying it to me one way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So you saw him after that? | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I went and got it on VHS after that to watch it. | ||
| It was dope. | ||
| But she was lying on her stomach in the parking lot to pretend to be a dead body because what had happened was these homosexual, in the Kinnison bit, these homosexual necrophiliacs were paying money to have a little bit of time undisturbed with the freshest male corpse. | ||
| So Kinnison lies down on stage and he's going, you imagine that? | ||
| The fact he said undisturbed, like, Can you imagine? | ||
| He's lying down on stage and he's like, wow, I can't believe this. | ||
| I guess I'm going to go to heaven now and be with Jesus. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And oh, hey, what is this? | |
| It feels like someone's fucking me in my ass. | ||
| Oh, I mean, life keeps fucking this even after you're dead. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It never ends. | |
| It never ends. | ||
| So I'm watching this girl who's like this volleyball player, this big athletic girl. | ||
| And she's got her body down on the ground. | ||
| And she's yelling out, oh! | ||
| She's like, life keeps fucking you in the ass even after you're dead! | ||
| It never ends! | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I was laughing so hard at what she was saying. | |
| I went out and got the VHS tape. | ||
| Did you like it? | ||
| I was blown away. | ||
| I couldn't believe it was coming. | ||
| It's a different kind of comedy. | ||
| Yeah, and then like, you think he was really loud, but then he was loud, but he was saying shit, just like that bit. | ||
| You know how your brain has to be to even think of that shit? | ||
| Do you know he shared something with Roseanne Barr? | ||
| Brain injury. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Brain injury, personality changing brain injury. | ||
| But how did they get it? | ||
| Both of them were hit by cars. | ||
| And that's how it happened? | ||
| Both of them, yeah. | ||
| Same thing. | ||
| I mean, don't hit your kid with a car and hope they turn out to be a comedian. | ||
| You don't think you're funny? | ||
| You're funny now, motherfucker. | ||
| With Roseanne, she was in a mental institute for nine months. | ||
| And with Kinison, they said there was an abrupt change between who he was and who he became. | ||
| He got hit by that car, and then from then on, he was this wild, reckless, don't-give-a-fuck guy, and this ranting, raging preacher. | ||
| But it turned out to be good for him. | ||
| The dark side. | ||
| The dark side is very interesting. | ||
| And for Roseanne. | ||
| It's good for her, too. | ||
| She might be done now. | ||
| We haven't heard... | ||
| How is that show doing, her spinoff? | ||
| Is it doing good? | ||
| I don't think it's doing that good. | ||
| I think it's dropping off. | ||
| Roseanne is, in my opinion, like having a person with a broken leg and expecting them to keep up on a hike. | ||
| She's got brain issues. | ||
| She's heavily medicated. | ||
| And, you know, Adderall and marijuana and all these different things. | ||
| There's a lot of shit that's fucking with her head. | ||
| And they kind of knew that when they were making that show. | ||
| I really think they did. | ||
| I really think they knew that. | ||
| But they're rolling dice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's also one of those things where, like, there's lovable parts about that show because of the fact that she's kind of loony, you know, and she's self-admittedly loony and self-admittedly medicated. | ||
| We get connected to the train, man. | ||
| The most interesting person is a train wreck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's true. | |
| The most interesting person to watch is somebody you think you could probably do better or smarter than or any of that. | ||
| We'd like when successful people have a giant major flaw like a brain injury that makes them ramble about shit. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I don't know how to push for that one. | ||
| But you know what I'm saying? | ||
| I like my celebrities with no brain injuries. | ||
| Now here comes the needle, the needle comes out and shit like injector. | ||
| Well, for Kinison, like Kinison was a, he was a groundbreaking comedian. | ||
| Like when I remember seeing him, and obviously I was only like 18 or 19 at the time, but I remember seeing him being like, oh, I didn't even know that this was comedy. | ||
| I didn't know you could do that. | ||
| It was a totally different. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He didn't give a shit. | ||
| He did a show where he would call up, he would have a phone, and he would ask some guy in the audience if your heart was ever broken by a girl. | ||
| And the guy would say, me, what happened? | ||
| Tell me what happened! | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he goes, oh, she fucked my friend, and she left me. | |
| He's like, goddammit! | ||
| Give me this bitch's number! | ||
| And he would get on the stage, hey, hey, Marcy? | ||
| Uh-oh, that's funny. | ||
| Yeah, I'm here with your ex-boyfriend, Tom. | ||
| This is Sam fucking Kennison! | ||
| And he would scream at this lady, and they had her over a speaker. | ||
| She's like, what? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| And he's screaming, you fucking whore! | ||
| Oh, that's too funny. | ||
| He's screaming into his telephone. | ||
| It was chaos. | ||
| Oh, man, I would have loved to see that, man. | ||
| I saw that working. | ||
| I was working as a security guard at Great Woods Center for the Performing Arts. | ||
| I got to see it. | ||
| I paid for it there once. | ||
| I got to see him live three times. | ||
| I didn't see the special, but I saw him perform. | ||
| Like at the comedy store or something? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| It was at a big ass amphitheater. | ||
| Can you imagine how it felt to see him work the OR? Oh my god. | ||
| You know motherfuckers might be out in the hallway and shit trying to peek in? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That room started getting tight as a motherfucker. | ||
| He was so powerful. | ||
| And funny looking. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like everything about him. | ||
| The beret and the fucking child molester jacket. | ||
| I don't say if it set the standards, but... | ||
| It was like everybody wanted to be the loud fat guy with the crazy hair. | ||
| Yeah, there was a little bit of that after that. | ||
| He opened up a door for something that people loved. | ||
| There's something about him that was like you knew that he was like genetically fucked. | ||
| It wasn't a good specimen of manhood, but he was angry and smart and confident and fucking ferocious. | ||
| And he would talk about all that. | ||
| Part of the fact that he was physically vulnerable was part of what made him funny. | ||
| And he would just... | ||
| Off the chain. | ||
| Yeah, well, the funny thing is about, he had some hilarious bits about being married, about the devil coming up to you when you're married. | ||
| Oh, you've been married? | ||
| Oh, nice. | ||
| This isn't even going to be scary for you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, oh, here's where we torture the souls. | |
| That's funny. | ||
| He had this shit where he's like, he goes, look at my face, look at my face. | ||
| Oh, oh! | ||
| He goes, I've been married! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Twice! | |
| And you can't even try one of his jokes without doing his voice. | ||
| No, you can't. | ||
| Like, soon as... | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can do Seinfeld and you kind of do a Seinfeld voice. | |
| Even if you hear somebody do their voice even yell a little bit like, alright, calm down, Sam Kennison. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get out! | |
| I live in hell! | ||
| Yeah, he had some groundbreaking shit where you watched it and it was like you were on a ride. | ||
| Like all of a sudden there was this new thing going on. | ||
| Was this Saturday Night Live? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| No? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| He would have tore that shit up. | ||
| He would have. | ||
| They banned him from a lot of things by the time he got to a certain stage in his comedy career. | ||
| There was certain subjects and certain... | ||
|
unidentified
|
He had this bit about AIDS. It was so ruthless. | |
| And it was like, you can't do that? | ||
| And he goes, everybody says, AIDS. You shouldn't make fun of AIDS, Sam. | ||
| It's a communicable disease. | ||
| He goes, straight people get it too. | ||
| He goes, name one! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Name one fucking guy! | |
| It's not our dance! | ||
| And I remember hearing that going, whoa. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Fuck you, it's not our dance! | ||
| I'm like, oh my god. | ||
| And there was certain bits like that where people were like, cut! | ||
| Yo, right now, it would be like comedy police everywhere. | ||
| Yeah, everywhere. | ||
| I mean, so much of his bits were punching down. | ||
| It was an argument that I got in with a guy who wrote a book on comedy, and he was telling me that comedy always has to punch up. | ||
| And I said, no, it doesn't. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I go, Sam Kinison had one of the greatest bits of all time, two of the greatest bits of all time. | ||
| One, there was a dude who was getting fucked in the ass after he was dead. | ||
| Yo, I want another committee that nominated and made that one of all times. | ||
| But go ahead. | ||
| And then the other one was the bit about watching someone... | ||
| Oh, this one burnt. | ||
| I lost the ash here. | ||
| And the other one was a bit about us watching a commercial to, will you please donate money to feed the starving children in Africa? | ||
| And he's saying, what just occurred to us, you know, like, there wouldn't be world hunger if you people would move where the food is! | ||
| He has this horrible fucking joke. | ||
| It's the worst punching down of all time. | ||
| He's making fun of starving children. | ||
| And it's so good. | ||
| Or is it just an observation? | ||
| I call it an observation. | ||
| And he's like, he goes, hey, we got deserts in America too! | ||
| We just don't live in them, asshole! | ||
| He goes, don't send them food. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Send them U-Hauls! | |
| Send them someone like me! | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's like, we're going to take you where the food is! | |
| And that's all he needed to do. | ||
| It's simple. | ||
| He had a joke where he literally sang, see that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
See that? | |
| It's fucking sand! | ||
| You know what's going to be 100 years from now? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fucking sand! | |
| Pack your kids! | ||
| We're going to take you where the food is! | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| And you were crying, and it was the most ruthless and wrong thing that anybody could ever say. | ||
| You're talking about starving children, and it was punching down. | ||
| I think you can make it all work. | ||
| You can make it all work. | ||
| We can make it all work. | ||
| He was punching down with earthquake-like effects. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| Boom! | ||
| And then he hit him with a punch. | ||
| I probably killed it at the end with a punch. | ||
| It was unbelievably funny. | ||
| And it was one of the most punched down things you could ever do. | ||
| He's making fun of starving babies. | ||
| I think it could be done. | ||
| You can make fun of anything. | ||
| It's just how you communicate. | ||
| We have to know two things. | ||
| One, it's not really happening the way you're saying it. | ||
| Because you're just joking and it's comedy. | ||
| And it's an observation. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's an observation. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Somebody said, Daniel, can a joke be too soon? | ||
| And I don't think a joke could be too soon, but it never could be too soon for a funny observation. | ||
| It's the observation that we see. | ||
| We can go to a fucking funeral and be in that motherfucker on the inside laughing like crazy. | ||
| And everybody going to be talking about, I'll see you in heaven when you go to heaven, assuming that everybody's going to go to heaven. | ||
| Everybody's not going to go to heaven. | ||
| One of the best lines, one of the best one-liners I ever heard was from Dave Foley. | ||
| I was on news radio with Dave Foley after Phil Hartman had gotten murdered by his wife and then his wife committed suicide. | ||
| He was up for an Emmy. | ||
| Phil Hartman was? | ||
| Yeah, so we all went. | ||
| And we all put on suits and shit and went to the Emmys. | ||
| And the dude from Frasier won. | ||
| And Dave Foley turns to look at us and goes, what the fuck does he have to do to win? | ||
| And we're just like... | ||
| It was just one of those things, in the moment, our murdered friend just lost at the Emmys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he turns to us and goes, what the fuck does he have to do to win? | |
| And me and Steven Rood were falling down in our chairs. | ||
| We're like, no, you didn't. | ||
| That's fucking funny. | ||
| There's no too soon. | ||
| It's just not funny. | ||
| Yo, motherfuckers say it's too soon. | ||
| I'm like... | ||
| Not always. | ||
| It's gonna be too late. | ||
| Because the minute you're saying it's too soon, somebody's gonna jump on that shit. | ||
| Exactly! | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's when you think about it, that's when it has to go down. | ||
| That's why I have this bit about that dude who was visiting that uncontacted tribe and trying to convert him to Jesus, and they shot him up with arrows. | ||
| It was an internet thing? | ||
| It's a story that's on the news, and I made sure I made fun of it that day. | ||
| The moment I read it, I started writing. | ||
| I'm not letting anybody have this one. | ||
| This guy visited an uncontacted tribe with Bibles. | ||
| And then you're like this. | ||
| I gotta do a set tonight. | ||
| Tonight! | ||
| Right now. | ||
| Right now. | ||
| I called up Adam. | ||
| I'm like, you gotta hook it up, dude. | ||
| Yo, I feel that way sometimes, man. | ||
| It's like, fuck it. | ||
| I'm going for it. | ||
| Sometimes you just have to jump on something. | ||
| Man, if it doesn't make my stomach rumble a little bit, a little uncomfortable, it's funny, but it's not your gut funny. | ||
| I want my gut to be happy. | ||
| You know, one thing that I think we should really say is we should really thank all the real comedy club fans that are still coming out. | ||
| And one of the things that we're not getting, where guys like you and me perform, wild people, when we perform in front of comedy clubs, we're not getting a lot of pushback, man. | ||
| We're getting a lot of good crowds. | ||
| Man, it's great crowds, and they want to... | ||
| They want to have fun. | ||
| It's great crowds. | ||
| They want to hear that fucking voice, man. | ||
| They want to hear that crazy shit. | ||
| And then you think like... | ||
| Like with me, it's weird because I'll do shows. | ||
| I'll do like an improv scene in Cleveland or some shit. | ||
| And then I'll have a sold out show. | ||
| And I'm still clubbed. | ||
| I dabble with little theaters and that's how I'm with a group of people, whatever. | ||
| And I was like, how many people follow me on social media? | ||
| And it's like, out of a room of like 500, it'll be like four people. | ||
| And I'm like, wow, that's fucked up. | ||
| But the thing is, the show is still sold out. | ||
| You know, so it's not followers. | ||
| I really believe I have real fans. | ||
| You know, like people that, whether it's through Instagram, it doesn't have to be there, but they know this dude and they want to see him. | ||
| And that's the best shit, the crowd that comes out to see you. | ||
| For sure, 100%. | ||
| You know, it's one thing, and we can't take anything for granted. | ||
| It's one thing to, like, go up, like, at a night at the comedy store where you know it's going to be a million comics. | ||
| You know, it's going to be everybody on the stage. | ||
| You know, and it's another thing. | ||
| And you perform it, but it's another thing knowing when the people that are there are there just to see you. | ||
| When they make a weekend of it, that's dope. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's a great responsibility too, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you're married to it. | ||
| But when it's like your only option, for the most part, that's all I do now. | ||
| You know, so it's good. | ||
| Yeah, but it's like you're in control of your own destiny, man. | ||
| I just think the only thing you're missing is the podcast. | ||
| I think your podcast will be gigantic. | ||
| I think I'm going to do it. | ||
| Y'all know I'm going to do it. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| You have to do it. | ||
| Bearded, my man, I'm telling you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| He tells me like, we'll be talking and he'll be like... | ||
| Son, when are you going to do yours? | ||
| I said, I'm doing Joe Rogan's podcast. | ||
| He was like, yeah, but son, when are you going to do yours? | ||
| You need to do one. | ||
| Like, you're so good at this. | ||
| Let's set it up. | ||
| Set it up, Jamie. | ||
| Too soon with Donnell Rollins. | ||
| Too soon? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's the name. | ||
| Lock it up. | ||
| Someone buy toosoon.com. | ||
| Don't be a dick. | ||
| Don't be a dick. | ||
| Give it to Donnell. | ||
| Give it to Donnell and I'll reimburse you on PayPal. | ||
| Cash App, son. | ||
| Yeah, don't be an asshole. | ||
| That's so white, son. | ||
| You gotta get Cash App. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I get Cash App? | |
| That's what you're gonna tell people, yeah, you mean Uncle PayPal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| You can't say PayPal. | ||
| Cash App is a sponsor of this podcast. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Cash App is the shit. | ||
| It's the shit, but PayPal's okay. | ||
| But motherfuckers Cash App be for anything. | ||
| They will. | ||
| No, you can't say PayPal. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| It's Cash App. | ||
| But I said it. | ||
| It's like saying Uncle Joe's coming over, guys. | ||
| No. | ||
| Is he bringing his PayPal account? | ||
| PayPal's great for buying things online. | ||
| You don't use it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's not the cool shit. | ||
| Cash App's the cool shit. | ||
| Cash App is the cool shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I understand. | |
| I'll Cash App you. | ||
| I have a Cash App thing, too. | ||
| I'll do that. | ||
| No, I'm going to do one. | ||
| I got to do it this year. | ||
| Too soon with Donnell. | ||
| I got to do it this year. | ||
| You should do it tomorrow. | ||
| You should literally do it tomorrow. | ||
| You're really good at it, man. | ||
| Yeah, for real. | ||
| You're really good at it. | ||
| You'd be great. | ||
| You're natural. | ||
| It doesn't even make sense that you're not. | ||
| I'd be honored to help. | ||
| I want to do it. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| You're the podcast motherfucker. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Fuck with the podcast motherfucker. | ||
| I want a podcast, son. | ||
| I want everybody to do one. | ||
| I love podcasts. | ||
| You are the king of the podcast. | ||
| Well, I got lucky. | ||
| I got in early, but I love podcasts. | ||
| And I would love to listen to yours. | ||
| I'm going to do a podcast. | ||
| This sounds like a love fest. | ||
| I'm going to do a podcast. | ||
| You 100% should do a podcast. | ||
| It will 100% be gigantic. | ||
| I guarantee your podcast will be number one in iTunes within a couple of months. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Probably the first episode will be close to the top. | ||
| People want to hear it. | ||
| So how would I get it off the first one? | ||
| How would I launch it? | ||
| I'll let you back. | ||
| I'll tweet it for you. | ||
| You tell me when you're doing it. | ||
| I'll put it on Instagram for you. | ||
| Jamie will help you find a way to set it up. | ||
| Just get you either with a microphone and a friend or another comedian or whatever. | ||
| So do you think it's important to engage with other people or can you do it? | ||
| Bill Burr does it entirely on his own. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Ari Shafir does some of the best shit he ever does on his own. | ||
| Ari has these long introductions. | ||
| He'll have a podcast that's two hours, but his introduction is an hour. | ||
| And it's just Ari talking shit. | ||
| And it's some of my favorite stuff that he does. | ||
| D'Elia does it by himself, too. | ||
| D'Elia and Theo. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Theo does it by himself. | ||
| Dude, a lot of people do them by themselves. | ||
| I need to do one. | ||
| I really need to do one. | ||
| Well, you're really funny with other people. | ||
| I mean, you could probably be just as funny by yourself, but you're a funny dude to interact with. | ||
| I think you and another person would be great. | ||
| And you could just have a friend that's also a comedian. | ||
| You don't have to have guests. | ||
| You could just be talking shit about things that are going on in the news or talking shit about life or talking shit about... | ||
| Pick a subject. | ||
| You could have Q&As from the crowd. | ||
| They could ask you questions through email. | ||
| Yeah, I want to do one. | ||
| I have to do one. | ||
| Why not, man? | ||
| Yeah, I have to do one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
100%. | |
| It's been calling me. | ||
| Let me help you. | ||
| I'm with it. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| I mean, how about I turn that down? | ||
| You can't. | ||
| We're in. | ||
| We're in motion. | ||
| People said we look like the black and white version of each other. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| I don't even know what to say about that. | ||
| But it does look like you're light-skinned me. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| I got a... | ||
| That's funny as shit. | ||
| I guarantee you, I have way more Neanderthal. | ||
| I have 57% more Neanderthal than the average person. | ||
| You can kill an elf, motherfucker. | ||
| That's not as hard as it seems. | ||
| Especially if you have a rifle. | ||
| But you still gotta focus. | ||
| You gotta focus. | ||
| Yeah, for a rifle, you do. | ||
| But for a bow and arrow, that's when you really have to focus. | ||
| But it's... | ||
| Whenever you say bow and arrow, I just immediately hear... | ||
| Like one just went past. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's an honest way to get meat. | ||
| I think there's an honest way to earn your jokes. | ||
| There's an honest way to do stand-up. | ||
| There's an honest way to get meat. | ||
| I don't think everybody should do it. | ||
| You shouldn't have to. | ||
| A lot of people wouldn't. | ||
| If you told the average person, alright, you want chicken? | ||
| And just show him like six hens alive and he was like, you want chicken? | ||
| There you go. | ||
| That motherfucking chicken would rock before a motherfucker was able to skin it. | ||
| And do whatever they do to it. | ||
| But that's just how we're being raised. | ||
| It's a denial issue. | ||
| It's not a reality issue. | ||
| Because the reality is we're still eating animals like crazy. | ||
| The denial is no one's killing them. | ||
| There's like a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny percent. | ||
| So you gotta get somebody to do your dirty work. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| So because someone's doing your dirty work, you don't think it's dirty. | ||
| But... | ||
| This is the shit to get vegans caught out there. | ||
| This conversation will turn a motherfucker to a vegan. | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| There's a reason why so many people accept veganism. | ||
| It's because there's a lot of really good points. | ||
| The biggest point is less animal cruelty. | ||
| You don't want to see animals suffer. | ||
| I don't want to see animals suffer. | ||
| You were absolutely right. | ||
| But I don't hear people push that side of it As much as the dietary habits of it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, on my side I hear like, it's carrots and this, but you don't hear about, no, it's more about the animals. | ||
| You know what it really is? | ||
| There's two things. | ||
| It really is all about the animals for a lot of them, and they're really right that it's better than the standard American diet. | ||
| That eating vegan food and healthy vegetable food all the time, as long as you do it correctly, is way better than the standard American diet. | ||
| But it's also like fish is good for you. | ||
| It just is. | ||
| It's good for you. | ||
| Piece of salmon? | ||
| Piece of salmon's good for you. | ||
| Wild salmon? | ||
| That shit's really good for you. | ||
| Tuna's good for you. | ||
| It is good for you. | ||
| This idea that it's not good for you is kind of crazy. | ||
| Like, meat is good for you. | ||
| The real problem is sugar and bullshit. | ||
| And you guys got that sorted out with the vegan diet, and some people have it sorted out with another diet. | ||
| The whole idea is to keep the poison out. | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| They just get overzealous. | ||
| And then when people have an idea of something that they're doing that they think everybody should do, then they start telling everybody they should do it. | ||
| And then you don't want to listen. | ||
| Yeah, there's a couple of people to tell it, and then they listen. | ||
| Dude, when I was a little kid... | ||
| That's like what the fucking... | ||
| The straws and the turtle shit. | ||
| Straws and a turtle? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Plastic straws. | ||
| Yeah, it was like one motherfuckin' turtle And I understand it reaching out, but now you can't fuck with plastic straws. | ||
| Yeah, there was someone, I retweeted their post, I wish I could remember who the fuck said it, but they were laughing about how you can't buy straws, but at Starbucks they still have those plastic lids. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Every straw is made out of paper now. | ||
| And then you get a paper straw, and that shit gets all sloppy. | ||
| It's just bullshit. | ||
| But I understand it, but somebody started it, and motherfuckers are... | ||
| I'm fucking running with it. | ||
| Well, you know, they can make hemp plastic that's biodegradable. | ||
| They don't have to use the same stupid plastic that's made out of oil. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But they can do everything. | |
| Hemp's about to change the world. | ||
| About to. | ||
| Shout out to Natural Cannabis. | ||
| These people told me they gave you one of those books. | ||
| Most likely. | ||
| You probably have. | ||
| It's got artwork. | ||
| It's really, really dope. | ||
| The cannabis people do? | ||
| Natural Cannabis. | ||
| But it's like... | ||
| You know, in our business, people are always handing us... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Always. | ||
| But this was like... | ||
| It was art. | ||
| It was like... | ||
| It was like just little nugs of each strand. | ||
| And then they had where it from. | ||
| They had a different artist designed it. | ||
| Tate Fletcher gave me that. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That was that big-ass book he gave me at the comedy store. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was... | ||
| I saw Tony with one... | ||
| And then Ivy over there, he gave me one. | ||
| And it's dope as shit. | ||
| This is the first time I saw something that made me look like, okay, this is the direction. | ||
| Everybody's going to be involved with this. | ||
| Dude, these dudes. | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| These dudes over here brought me a war case. | ||
| That war chest over there with that championship belt on the top of it. | ||
| That war chest at the bottom, that box. | ||
| That's all weed, man. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| I'm going to open it up. | ||
| It's got LEDs. | ||
| You want to see what it looks like? | ||
| Yeah, hell yeah. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I got this box for Mike Tyson. | |
| Joe is walking over to the box. | ||
| Oh, can I video a little bit? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He might have forgotten that no one has a microphone. | ||
| No microphone? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No microphone? | ||
| That's all weed. | ||
| Man. | ||
| Sorry, folks. | ||
| It's alright. | ||
| I don't want to leave you hanging, ladies and gentlemen, but... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I'll be right back, but I'm stopping from this site. | |
| Everything. | ||
| I think today's the birth of a new podcast. | ||
| Someone already bought the... | ||
| They already bought too soon with Donnell.com. | ||
| Oh, beautiful. | ||
| So he has to start it. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| They bought it. | ||
| They're going to get it to us. | ||
| And we're going to PayPal them. | ||
| Like regular white people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like regular white people. | |
| No PayPal! | ||
| I'll use the Cash App. | ||
| I'll sign up tomorrow. | ||
| I'll use the co-word Rogan and I'll get five bucks. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Just grab shit. | ||
| Whatever you want, man. | ||
| That's the whole deal with that box. | ||
| That's the box of doom. | ||
| Shout out to Gino from LA Speedweed for hooking that up. | ||
| If you're in the middle of nowhere or you're in one of those states that's still clinging to prohibition, you don't understand. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Have it all. | ||
| We'll get you a bag if you want. | ||
| You want a bag? | ||
| There's places that we get arrested for all this. | ||
| And here in California... | ||
| Yo, you got drops and shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Drops. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| The future of California is 100% legality. | ||
| We're legal. | ||
| These other states, their future, they need to catch up. | ||
| They need to pass some laws. | ||
| We're living in the future. | ||
| We're living in the legal weed future. | ||
| Yo, I'm telling you, man, this shit... | ||
| Yo, this shit right here, LA would make you a snob, son. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yo, LA, when you go back to the West Coast, I mean, any other coast from LA, when you go back, people are like, I got weed, and you'll be like this, what strand? | ||
| And they're like, what the fuck do you mean what strand? | ||
| I got some loud, I got some fire, I got some gas. | ||
| But this is dope. | ||
| Yeah, but you can't underestimate weed in some places. | ||
| One time Ari and Joey Diaz and I, we got cocky. | ||
| We were doing a show in Philly, and they gave us some weed. | ||
| We were like, it's Philly weed, man. | ||
| Oh yeah, that's the worst. | ||
| Will you name it after the city? | ||
| You said it's Philly weed? | ||
| We thought it was going to be like low-grade weed because it's in Philadelphia. | ||
| But the guy got a hold of some OG Kush strains from like 2001 and brought it back to Philly, and we were crippled. | ||
| But you guys had to be the type of company that you knew you would have to find the best shit. | ||
| Well, you didn't know it was going to be that good. | ||
| If I knew it was California weed, I would have backed off. | ||
| Right? | ||
| It's a different thing. | ||
| Once you say that, California. | ||
| And Denver's got that. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I wonder who's going to be the next gangsta state. | ||
| Oregon. | ||
| Don't have the right ring. | ||
| You know Oregon. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| It's got to be like Philly. | ||
| Something that you can say really quick. | ||
| Yeah, it's... | ||
| But it's hard to find bad weed today. | ||
| Weed's everywhere now. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta think about the type of friends you have that would give you bad weed. | ||
| Yeah, there's no need for that. | ||
| I got to be for this chick at this comedy club down in Tampa or something. | ||
| I was like, you got some weed? | ||
| She was like, yeah, I got some weed. | ||
| I was like, alright. | ||
| So she gave me this joint and she said, yeah, it's some shit weed, but here you go. | ||
| And I said, what are you giving it to me for? | ||
| She was like, you wanted the weed? | ||
| I was like, why would I want some shit weed? | ||
| She got mad at me as if I was ungrateful. | ||
| I wanted to say, bitch, you smoke it. | ||
| That's what I wanted to say. | ||
| I wanted to say it, but I couldn't, son. | ||
| But I'm like this, yo, why would I want to smoke some weed that you just told me was garbage? | ||
| Just to say thank you. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| You can keep that shit. | ||
| It makes sense to keep it, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Damn, is this childproof? | ||
| I look like a crackhead, son. | ||
| They're making some of those hard to get off now. | ||
| I swear they're not. | ||
| Oh, bam. | ||
| Look at that shit. | ||
| These are the best. | ||
| You can tell. | ||
| That's good stuff. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's quite potent. | ||
| I know. | ||
| There's different levels. | ||
| There's three different ones, three different colors. | ||
| Find what you like. | ||
| We got some batteries back there too. | ||
| Yo, that's why I don't have some. | ||
| I feel like it's Christmas right now, man. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Go grab one of those. | ||
| Zip up. | ||
| There's a few of them. | ||
| There's three or four of them. | ||
| These are the joints. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, I like those little vape pens. | ||
| They're great. | ||
| And you could regulate it. | ||
| They're good. | ||
| Once you figure out what it is. | ||
| What are these? | ||
| It's a charger. | ||
| For that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Once you feel like what it is, like you get. | ||
| Why does the little battery look like it changed? | ||
| No, it's just a USB. That's a USB port. | ||
| It screws into the bottom of the base of the battery. | ||
| All right, don't nobody move. | ||
| Stay still. | ||
| Oh, word. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Damn, it feels like you're in a hospital when you get out of here, man. | ||
| You, like, got a roll. | ||
| Oh, I'm about to get a shot. | ||
| Yeah, that's a weird thing. | ||
| Oh, is that a disposable battery? | ||
| No. | ||
| Rechargeable with that little USB thing? | ||
| That thing right there? | ||
| Does it work? | ||
| What do you got to do with that one? | ||
| Is that a five presser? | ||
| I didn't check. | ||
| Sometimes you press them five times. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Ta-da! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Powerful LSB. Yo, this looks so cool, man. | |
| Yeah, it is cool. | ||
| Yeah, but in LA, we get it delivered, folks. | ||
| All right, Joe. | ||
| Keep rubbing it in, man. | ||
| All these people out there. | ||
| Keep rubbing it in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Change the laws. | |
| We're not going to meet you on the corner. | ||
| Change the laws. | ||
| All I'm saying is aspire. | ||
| Aspire to inspire. | ||
| Keep moving. | ||
| But in California, can you mail weed? | ||
| No, but you can fly with it. | ||
| They will let you fly out of LAX. Yeah, I'm waiting for one of you motherfuckers to get caught with that because you're the third person. | ||
| Not caught, but you're the third person to say how easy it is. | ||
| Everybody's like this. | ||
| Oh yeah, they'll let you. | ||
| I'm like, okay. | ||
| They won't let you land though. | ||
| That's the issue. | ||
| That's what the problem was. | ||
| Somebody in Boston told me that shit. | ||
| Yeah, if you land in Delaware, they'll put you in a hole. | ||
| Yo, then what the fuck? | ||
| It's like you can't do it. | ||
| No, it's still stupid in a bunch of states. | ||
| It's only legal in, what, nine states now? | ||
| I think it's legal in nine states and maybe a few more medically. | ||
| How many all-tolds? | ||
| Legality, recreational. | ||
| I think it's still only four. | ||
| But it's Nevada, too. | ||
| So it's Nevada, California, Oregon, Washington, Colorado. | ||
| That's five. | ||
| Okay, so five. | ||
| And Boston. | ||
| Boston is six. | ||
| DC. It's recreational in Massachusetts. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| I think... | ||
| Check on that. | ||
| I think it passed when we were there, but they might not have their stores open yet sort of thing. | ||
| Ohio just passed medical and they just are now opening stuff up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Medical. | |
| See what Massachusetts has. | ||
| I'm pretty sure Massachusetts is recreational. | ||
| Well, come on, man. | ||
| We're grown adults. | ||
| Yo, I feel like something else needs to go in here, Joe. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It is? | ||
| Yeah, Massachusetts is. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| No, this is a pretty-ass pouch. | ||
| It's pretty, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's nice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What company is that? | ||
| What does it say on that? | ||
| Loud. | ||
| Loud. | ||
| Shout-out to Loud. | ||
| Loud and clear. | ||
| I love those little things. | ||
| Yeah, that's cool. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| That's a good dose before you go on stage. | ||
| Just a little... | ||
| A little quick, yeah. | ||
| Just a little woo! | ||
| Just a little pick-me-up. | ||
| Just a little woo! | ||
| Yep. | ||
| What is your pre-show ritual? | ||
| Do you have one? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, I like to have, like you said, two puffs of weed. | ||
| Two puffs. | ||
| Little puffs or deep tracks? | ||
| No, little puffs. | ||
| You know, Dave got me back on blunts. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I know you hit me with a blunt. | ||
| I was like, when you hit me with a blunt, when I first walked out, I was like, yo, Joe, slow down, man. | ||
| We get it. | ||
| You're cool, motherfucker. | ||
| That's all we use most of the time now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When Charlie Murphy got me on them the first time. | ||
| And then I was like, this is an interesting experience to be high and then nicotine high at the same time. | ||
| The two of them together are unique. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's a different feeling. | ||
| And then I didn't do it again for a long time until I smoked with Dave and John Mayer. | ||
| Name drop. | ||
| And we're both smoking that stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I never smoked with John. | ||
| It's a nice guy. | ||
| Yeah, he's a dope guy. | ||
| He's a very, very nice guy. | ||
| These vapor shit that like squirt off, squirt out a... | ||
| Smells? | ||
| Smells and shit. | ||
| Oh, like aromatherapy? | ||
| Yes, man. | ||
| This motherfucker just... | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| You got to watch out because he'll just... | ||
| You can tell when he got his aromatherapy thing in his head. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| Because he's just doing like this, right? | ||
| And then he'll just come by you and be like, so how's everything, right? | ||
| It's probably real, though. | ||
| It's real, but he's supposed to give me one of the motherfucking machines. | ||
| Give him a wand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Give you a wand. | ||
| I'm like, I like the aroma... | ||
| He had like, it was... | ||
| Like Lavender or something. | ||
| He was like... | ||
| It was a crazy color, crazy way. | ||
| He was like, just kept just doing like this. | ||
| Lavender. | ||
| Like he was a wizard of that. | ||
| What's that smell that you gotta be careful of? | ||
| Oh, patchouli. | ||
| Patchouli equals hippies, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a plant? | |
| Is it a plant? | ||
| Patchouli oil? | ||
| It's like a type of oil that people were wearing, like a lot of hipsters were wearing. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Is it a hipster thing? | ||
| Or a hippie? | ||
| More hippie. | ||
| Hippie, yeah. | ||
| But what is he supposed to do? | ||
| Just a stinky oil that people put on. | ||
| It's patchouli oil. | ||
| Put it up here and here. | ||
| I have some lotion, I don't have it with me, that's organic with some magical elements. | ||
| That's pretty good. | ||
| Magical elements? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So what is John Mayer trying to do with this aromatherapy wand that he's waving around everywhere? | ||
| I think he just wants people's sinuses to be open, man. | ||
| I think he cares about people breathing. | ||
| That's considerate. | ||
| But when he has it, he's like a different person. | ||
| I mean, it's like he's powerful. | ||
| And he brings it around people that have been drinking, so now you gotta mix the smell of fucking rum with his goddamn lavender machine. | ||
| And he only has one machine, so once he gets you addicted to it, you gotta chase him. | ||
| And he's a little too handsome. | ||
| I don't even care about that part. | ||
| I just don't want him to have me chasing him for smells. | ||
| Because the last two times I've seen him, I was like, John, man, what's up with the fucking vapor thing? | ||
| He was like, you like that, don't you? | ||
| He's got like a pimp. | ||
| He wants to hold it back from you. | ||
| Yeah, I'm going to find out who makes it. | ||
| I'm going to get my own. | ||
| You should get your own. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Maybe I can get them to sponsor my new podcast. | ||
| I bet they would do it. | ||
| Too soon. | ||
| Too soon. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| It's born right here. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| It's inevitable. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| It's perfect. | ||
| I get to talk every... | ||
| How often do I have to do it? | ||
| Anytime you want. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| That's the thing, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, you can take time off. | ||
| Ari Shafir, when he went to Asia, he went on a walkabout for like, what is it, three months? | ||
| More than three months. | ||
| Ari Shafir vanished off the face of the earth, disconnected from social media, from his phone, from his email, everything. | ||
| Bought a burner phone and went to Asia. | ||
| And just traveled around for months and months and months and months and months. | ||
| And he just... | ||
| Didn't do anything. | ||
| And then he came back. | ||
| He came back after three, four months and it just picked right up where it left before. | ||
| And now he's doing one a week. | ||
| I want to do it, man. | ||
| I got to do it. | ||
| It's easy. | ||
| You could literally do it from your phone. | ||
| I gotta do it, and it's like, I think people want me to do it. | ||
| I think I want you to do it. | ||
| I'm gonna do it. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| I think Jamie wants you to do it, Jamie. | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| Yeah, people want you to do it. | ||
| That's simple, man. | ||
| So simple. | ||
| I don't gotta dance. | ||
| I make power moves. | ||
| We'll help you out. | ||
| It's super easy. | ||
| Say, little bitch, you can't fuck with me if you wanted to. | ||
| These is expensive. | ||
| These is... | ||
| These is red bottoms. | ||
| These is bloody shoes. | ||
| Say, little bitch, you can't fuck. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| You can't fuck with me if you wanted to. | ||
| You could use that as your opening music. | ||
| Man, I'm telling you, that's it. | ||
| You can do whatever you want. | ||
| You can't fuck with me if you wanted to. | ||
| These is special. | ||
| These is red. | ||
| These is gutter. | ||
| These is butter. | ||
| These is Brooklyn shoes. | ||
| Say, little bitch, you can't fuck with me if you wanted to. | ||
| These is expensive. | ||
| These is butters. | ||
| These is Brooklyn shoes. | ||
| Please welcome too soon. | ||
| Hit the store. | ||
| Cop them both. | ||
| Bitch, I don't gotta choose. | ||
| And I'm quick. | ||
| Cut a nigga up so don't get comfortable. | ||
| That's it, son. | ||
| No bleeps. | ||
| It's perfect. | ||
| I want to do it! | ||
| The thing is, yeah, no bleeps. | ||
| Ever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do whatever you want. | |
| No bleeps. | ||
| All fuck-ups and all. | ||
| Let it roll. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I want to do it. | ||
| You should do it. | ||
| I am going to do it. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Yeah, everybody was excited. | ||
| My friends, everybody was geeked out. | ||
| You're doing Joe's podcast. | ||
| You're doing Joe's podcast. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| I'm like, I can't wait. | ||
| But my friend keeps telling me, he says, Donnell, fuck that. | ||
| Do your own. | ||
| You should do your own. | ||
| He's right. | ||
| Your friend loves you. | ||
| It's quite obvious. | ||
| It's making a lot of sense. | ||
| I like the fact that I know motherfuckers have got wolves. | ||
| Wolves? | ||
| That's a wolf outside, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| American Werewolf in London. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know how to feel. | ||
| It feels very... | ||
| The thing about your podcast, too, is with technology today, you could literally do all of it on a phone. | ||
| If you feel like fucking around for a little bit, getting your feet wet, you could do everything from your phone. | ||
| You could stream from your phone. | ||
| You could record from your phone. | ||
| You could do everything. | ||
| What about... | ||
| Could I do... | ||
| Just if I've recorded, I know there may be an app, but if I've recorded my voice memo, is it important just to have my voice, or it has to be on a certain... | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Well, the voice recorder, like on a phone, on an iPhone, the voice notes, I have made at least a dozen podcasts. | ||
| So I can use that? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Just with that, that's been a dozen podcasts. | ||
| A lot of them on planes. | ||
| Like me and Tony Hinchcliffe would be on a plane. | ||
| I just have the phone between us. | ||
| We just start talking shit and drinking cocktails and laughing. | ||
| So the more important thing is the conversation. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| It doesn't... | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| I mean, as long as you do your... | ||
| Like right now, we have a real professional setup. | ||
| We have a desk. | ||
| We have microphones. | ||
| Jamie's a real audio engineer. | ||
| He knows exactly what he's doing. | ||
| Everything sounds amazing. | ||
| But as long as you put the effort to give people a good, solid product, occasionally you can have one where you're just talking on a phone. | ||
| They won't be upset. | ||
| It'll actually be kind of cool. | ||
| People will know, oh, these guys are on a plane. | ||
| You can hear the stewardess comes over. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're talking to her. | |
| But I like that. | ||
| Is that not normal? | ||
| No, it's not normal. | ||
| But you could totally do that, too. | ||
| The thing is, like, if you just started doing that, people would love it. | ||
| And then let it just sort of figure its own, you know, as it gets bigger, figure its own path. | ||
| But you don't need a big investment to start. | ||
| You just need one of them little Zoom recorders. | ||
| I got a Zoom. | ||
| Yeah, perfect. | ||
| Microphone? | ||
| Two microphones? | ||
| I need to just do it, bro. | ||
| Just do it. | ||
| I just gotta do it. | ||
| And you could do it. | ||
| You know, here's the thing. | ||
| This is the thing. | ||
| Alright, here's the thing. | ||
| With me, while I was probably somewhat hesitant, I'm like, man, everybody got a goddamn podcast. | ||
| Yes, but, but. | ||
| The but. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The but. | |
| If you're with the right network of people, and you're with the right network of people, people recognize. | ||
| If you're in the network of people, we were talking about you did Theo's show, you do my show, you do Joey Diaz's show. | ||
| Have you done Joey's show yet? | ||
| I haven't done Joey's show. | ||
| You'll do Joey's show. | ||
| Everybody does everybody's show. | ||
| Kevin Smith? | ||
| Yeah, all these guys, funny people. | ||
| You do their show, and then everybody knows, oh, okay. | ||
| And then it's all in the same group of people, and everybody gets a bump. | ||
| Everybody gets a bump. | ||
| Everyone. | ||
| As long as everybody is succeeding and everybody's doing well and there's more and more podcasts. | ||
| And if I say, hey, you should see this guy's podcast. | ||
| Can I say something right now, Joe? | ||
| For all the black people that are listening right now, could you please take a note of what Joe just said for the last minute? | ||
| Networking. | ||
| You gotta network. | ||
| All the family. | ||
| It's everything. | ||
| And more importantly... | ||
| Everybody gets a bump. | ||
| Everybody gets a bump. | ||
| Including me. | ||
| Including me. | ||
| Everybody who's, even the people that are making more money, everything's better for everybody. | ||
| And it feels better. | ||
| It feels better when everybody's doing great. | ||
| Man, I'm telling you, I'm with you 100% on that. | ||
| And that's like, I'm with you 100% on that. | ||
| And it's not, it's really simple. | ||
| Yeah, it's really simple. | ||
| It's hard when you're struggling. | ||
| Because when you're struggling, you feel isolated and you feel alone. | ||
| You feel like it's you versus everybody else. | ||
| But it's really not. | ||
| And one of the things about comedians is, we've had this conversation many times where we try to figure out what the number is. | ||
| I don't know what the number is, but it might be less than a thousand on the whole planet. | ||
| On the whole planet Earth, there's seven billion people. | ||
| There might be a thousand legit comedians. | ||
| And I'm probably being real generous when I say that. | ||
| I'm with you 100%. | ||
| If I run into a dude like you or any other real legit comedian, that is a rare human being. | ||
| There's not a whole lot of us. | ||
| If we don't stick together, who the fuck will? | ||
| Nobody. | ||
| Whose alarm's going off? | ||
| Dude, you going to sleep? | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| Oh my God, we're in a dream. | ||
| Imagine if that alarm went off and I woke up to pee. | ||
| I was like, fuck, I was dreaming. | ||
| Yo, you got me wanting to do a podcast, son. | ||
| I'm going to do it. | ||
| I'm going to do it. | ||
| This is an epic podcast. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I really believe that. | ||
| I really do believe that. | ||
| But I believe that about all that shit. | ||
| It's good for everybody. | ||
| It's good for all of us. | ||
| It makes sense. | ||
| That's what I was saying. | ||
| I was making a point, not being funny, but making a point. | ||
| And I was like, black folk that are listening right now, listen to the strategy and listen to what he just said. | ||
| Listen to what he just said. | ||
| It has nothing to do with anything other than community. | ||
| All the other shit that's in your head in terms of competitiveness is in your own head. | ||
| When you have that stage, that's your stage. | ||
| You're there for 15 minutes or 20 minutes, whatever your set is, that's yours. | ||
| What everybody else does should be fuel. | ||
| It should inspire you. | ||
| And we should support each other because there's not many of us. | ||
| But I'm telling you, bro, and that's the... | ||
| I'm with you 100%. | ||
| But that is one of the troubling factors in a lot of communities like to support... | ||
| It goes away. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Motherfuckers talk. | ||
| They talk. | ||
| Everybody talk. | ||
| But do you know why? | ||
| I really believe this. | ||
| Why the support goes away? | ||
| The famine mentality. | ||
| Famine, what do you mean? | ||
| Famine. | ||
| They feel like there's not enough for everybody. | ||
| Everybody had this feeling for the longest time that there's not enough for everybody. | ||
| And I think that's a crazy way to think of things. | ||
| There's There's more than enough for everybody. | ||
| There's 300 million people. | ||
| How many fucking people do you need in your audience? | ||
| You should realize if you really enjoyed doing stand-up, you'd want these people to become fans of stand-up. | ||
| So you'd want to tell them about all these other comedians. | ||
| Tell them about Joey Diaz. | ||
| Tell them about, you know, fill in the blank, Tony Hinchcliffe. | ||
| Whoever it is that you think is hilarious. | ||
| Tell them! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Tell them! | |
| There's a lot out there to see, man. | ||
| This is a great time. | ||
| Yeah, but motherfuckers, I'm telling you, certain communities, they just don't want to... | ||
| They don't want to tell motherfuckers to be just on their self and themselves so much that they don't want to help. | ||
| They don't want to reach out. | ||
| And it's like, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, the conversation you're having with me right now, it's simple for you because, you know, those are the type of friends and those are the type of people you deal with. | ||
| But some people, you know what I mean? | ||
| I do know what you mean. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| They have other fucked up shit. | ||
| Like, I look at it like people I hang with, Chappelle and these other guys, like, I went around some powerful motherfuckers, but we're friends first and foremost. | ||
| But everybody don't think like that. | ||
| That's a tough one. | ||
| It is a tough one, but it's just a matter of a shift in the way you view things. | ||
| Just look at it. | ||
| Don't let go of your beliefs. | ||
| Just try to look at it in another way. | ||
| Try to look at it in another way. | ||
| You're way better off if you're a team. | ||
| You're way better off if there's camaraderie. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| When you do a show with someone who's a murderer, a murderer, and they go on in front of you, you're way better off if you're laughing. | ||
| When you go on that stage, you're way better off if you're loose. | ||
| Like, you just had a good time. | ||
| But if you're tense, like I told you, I bombed with Jim Brewer. | ||
| I was backstage freaking out. | ||
| I was like, God damn, I gotta follow this? | ||
| How the fuck am I gonna follow this? | ||
| But you was younger then. | ||
| I was way younger. | ||
| But I was only gonna eat shit. | ||
| I knew I was gonna eat shit. | ||
| But another thing, Joe, it probably wasn't... | ||
| And it was probably... | ||
| It's hard to get away from whatever your first experience is gonna be. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It's probably your first experience. | ||
| It happened like that. | ||
| Like a real bomber. | ||
| Like a, oh, I couldn't do shit about it. | ||
| Yeah, like I was supposed to do 45 minutes, I got off stage at 35. But you went back in the gym! | ||
| I did, I had to. | ||
| Yeah, but the thing is, like, Jim and I have always been friends, and I've been friends with a lot of people that made me eat shit, going on after them. | ||
| It didn't matter. | ||
| The thing about it is that, like, and even after all these years, I feel genuinely, genuinely honored to be a part of this group of people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because we do something that is my favorite thing to watch. | ||
| That's a group of people, but like you say, it's like a limited circle of like, there's no other way to say it but real motherfuckers. | ||
| It's a small circle. | ||
| It's some okay motherfuckers. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| You know, it's some motherfuckers like, you're like, they say somebody's name, and you're like, it's okay. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And they're like, no! | ||
| You're like... | ||
| I heard you, right? | ||
| You're like, I heard you. | ||
| But this is the real folks. | ||
| And like you say, they got to stay united. | ||
| I tell you, a couple weeks ago when I was with Dave, and he said, comedians, it's time to grab our balls. | ||
| Because now more than ever, we're the only people that we have to talk about what's fucked up in the world. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| We have to. | ||
| We can't keep it to ourselves. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's not fair to nobody. | ||
| It's too confusing right now because it's too dangerous to have any controversial ideas. | ||
| People are getting in trouble for left, right. | ||
| Well, you don't have no balls, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| When you own it, you own it. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| You own it. | ||
| If you own it, you own it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everybody don't do it. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And normally, I'm telling you, if you have a... | ||
| People know your character. | ||
| If you own it, they know what you meant to say. | ||
| They know. | ||
| They know. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you own it. | ||
| Someone was asking me, why do you think Charlie Sheen never got Me Too'd? | ||
| I was like, what are you going to do to him? | ||
| He hasn't already done to himself. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The guy was on ABC Good Morning America talking about smoking rocks. | |
| You know why they didn't know by Me Too'd? | ||
| Because they didn't want him to have another show. | ||
| Think about it. | ||
| If he would have got Me Too'd, he would have been in the headlines, and he would have found the show somewhere. | ||
| Let's talk about that. | ||
| Collectively, there was a period of time where Hollywood lost their fucking mind, and they were giving out these deals where if you got a certain amount of episodes, they signed you up for 100 episodes. | ||
| And that's what happened with Anger Management, the Charlie Sheen show. | ||
| Charlie Sheen made more money off that show than he did even off Three and a Half Men. | ||
| But people don't know that. | ||
| People don't know that. | ||
| He knows that. | ||
| He's the only one that needs to know. | ||
| Yeah, but it's a crazy story. | ||
| They used to sign shows. | ||
| TV's $200 million Charlie Sheen experiment. | ||
| They used to sign these shows and they would sign these shows in the anticipation of it being a huge success. | ||
| So they did that with him. | ||
| They did it with George Lopez. | ||
| And they gave him the money up front? | ||
| They give you a certain percentage. | ||
| I don't know how it's structured, but apparently the point is that they sign up for a giant number of shows. | ||
| Not 13, not 22. They sign you up for a giant number of shows. | ||
| and by doing that somehow or another they they you know right after charlie sheen had his whole scandal leaving two and a half men he went on to have make way more money than ever before that's crazy he's got he's got a crazy career man legit movie star gigantic tv star also talks about smoking smoking a lot of crack right was he crack he's talking about a coke what was he saying i think crack doing yeah Yeah. | ||
| Doing drugs. | ||
| Either way. | ||
| I don't think I've ever had a crack conversation with anybody. | ||
| I don't think so either. | ||
| There's no crack advocates. | ||
| There's no weed advocates. | ||
| Nobody's like, yo, last night was a little weird. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, yo, I had too many. | ||
| You can't say. | ||
| You got too many beers, too many glasses of wine. | ||
| I had too many crack rocks. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Yeah, there's a certain darkness given into that glass dick. | ||
| Once you start going down that road, you know you've made a choice. | ||
| You know, there's no critical thinking involved there. | ||
| That's debauchery. | ||
| That's the happiness you chose. | ||
| Everybody chooses different happinesses. | ||
| I had a friend who did a lot of crack back in New York. | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| He would have to drink like 40 ounces of malt liquor to try to calm down because he'd be just so jacked up from the crack. | ||
| I had a crackhead friend, and I was like, I gave him so many opportunities just to be cool, and he gave me a crackhead experience once. | ||
| It was almost McDonald's, bro. | ||
| We was waiting for McDonald's, and then we gave him the money. | ||
| They was like, what happened? | ||
| I was like, oh, man. | ||
| We were like, we know you're a crackhead, but don't crackhead us. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Go outside of our community, but like here, don't do that, bro. | ||
| Yeah, my friend was brilliant, too. | ||
| Brilliant, brilliant guy, but he had just like mental problems and he just needed to get high all the time. | ||
| He never wanted to be... | ||
| It was his escape? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He never wanted to be alone with his thoughts. | ||
| That's a tough one for a lot of people. | ||
| It was a real one for him because he was brilliant. | ||
| He's a brilliant guy. | ||
| But he was also homeless half the time I knew him, you know? | ||
| It was a lot going on, man, with him. | ||
| A lot going on, but he was... | ||
| Nobody could help him? | ||
| He was too stubborn. | ||
| He wouldn't listen. | ||
| He would just vanish and disappear and do drugs for a few days and then come back. | ||
| He could do math in his head. | ||
| Like you could say to him, 99 times 54 times 6 minus 5 divided by 3. When he was sober. | ||
| Yeah, and he would just bang it out. | ||
| He would just tell you what it is. | ||
| Quick. | ||
| He would tell you. | ||
| And you'd be there with a calculator. | ||
| You're like, you motherfucker. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| But he couldn't manage his own brain to the point where he could stay away from hard drugs. | ||
| And he eventually died of an overdose. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| That's usually a... | ||
| The end of that one. | ||
| That's how it goes. | ||
| That's usually how that one goes, bruh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's like this, yeah. | ||
| Like, not too many motherfuckers come back from that. | ||
| They don't come back from the needle. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| They don't come back from none of that shit. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| I mean, it is possible, but you need some help. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's one of the reasons why that 12-step shit works. | ||
| We really give in to God or the higher power. | ||
| It's like you're going to have to somehow or another think there's something more important than what you're doing, otherwise you're never going to stop this shit. | ||
| Yeah, but those people become like big sex addicts and shit too. | ||
| Coffee and cigarettes. | ||
| You're like motherfuckers. | ||
| Anybody you know that used to be heroin addicts, they want to fuck everything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All the time. | |
| They want coffee. | ||
| Son, they want coffee and some ass, son. | ||
| They don't give a fuck, son. | ||
| Give me the ass first. | ||
| Coffee, whatever it is. | ||
| You do know. | ||
| Yo, that's so fucking funny. | ||
| So true. | ||
| Everybody that I know that had a situation. | ||
| Them motherfuckers on coffee hard and shit. | ||
| They don't ever get rid of those tendencies. | ||
| They just try to figure out a way to... | ||
| Put it somewhere else. | ||
| Yeah, put it in a positive way. | ||
| It's more socially acceptable. | ||
| Yeah, or it's marathon running or some shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a lot of those guys. | ||
| Nigga hard. | ||
| Those newly gym motherfuckers. | ||
| This could go on and on. | ||
| Don L, I think we birthed a new podcast today. | ||
| Yo. | ||
| You know what I just did? | ||
| And I know there's a reason why I bumped into you in the show. | ||
| And we see each other in passing. | ||
| We've been talking about doing this for a long time. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| But I don't, like, when I see you in the comedy club, I'm like this, yo, that motherfucker working, I'm working. | ||
| What's up? | ||
| I know you're Joe Rogan, yada, yada. | ||
| But I was like... | ||
| You know, you do your shit. | ||
| I'm like, but when I see, I be like, didn't work. | ||
| I'm glad we had this conversation. | ||
| I just did Burt's cooking show. | ||
| And I took that shit over, son. | ||
| They was like, yo, this might be my week at getting shows, son. | ||
| They was like, yo, you still cooking show, right? | ||
| I went to Burt's shit. | ||
| Burt was like, I think I just gave my show to Donnell, right? | ||
| Then I come here, then Joe Rogan's like, yo, Donnell, let's do a show. | ||
| We can do it right here. | ||
| You have to do a show. | ||
| Fuck it, let's do it. | ||
| You have to do a show. | ||
| Yeah, and like I said, you start off easy. | ||
| Just put a microphone on your iPhone. | ||
| It's nothing. | ||
| It's easy to do. | ||
| I got all that. | ||
| I'm going to do it. | ||
| Beautiful! | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Hey, this was a lot of fun, brother. | ||
| Thanks for having me. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| My pleasure, sir. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| Appreciate it. | ||
| That was a good time, man. | ||
| Always good to see you, man. | ||
| And congratulations. | ||
| Congratulations on all your success and however many years you've been doing it. | ||
| Because when I was first introduced, I knew Fear Factor. | ||
| I didn't even know that you did stand-up. | ||
| Until I came out here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I didn't even know that. | ||
| You know what I thought? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, oh, that's the TV nigga, right? | |
| I don't believe it, son. | ||
| I was like, that's the TV nigga right there, right? | ||
| That TV nigga do podcasts, too? | ||
| And then I was like, that nigga do stand-up, too? | ||
| And I was like, all right, but he a podcast nigga, right? | ||
| And then when I saw you do your show, I was like, he'll go hard, motherfucker, son. | ||
| I appreciate your work ethics in everything you do. | ||
| Thank you, brother. | ||
| I appreciate you too, man. | ||
| I appreciate your perspective on comedy, your approach, your ethics, the whole deal, man. | ||
| I appreciate you. | ||
| I appreciate you being around the Comedy Store too. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| All right. |
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