Feb. 4, 2019 - The Joe Rogan Experience
01:56:45
Participants
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| There we go. | ||
| Four, three, two, one. | ||
| And we're live, you fucking handsome bastard. | ||
| Look at you. | ||
| Oh yeah, stunning. | ||
| What's going on, man? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| Well, I've done this once before, and I've watched you throughout the years. | ||
| And when I come in here, I get a little nervous. | ||
| Why? | ||
| You're a guy who knows a lot about everything, and I don't know a lot of... | ||
| I don't know a lot about everything. | ||
| I know enough to make it seem like I know a lot about everything. | ||
| Whatever you're doing, you know more than I do, right? | ||
| Like we were on your treadmill out there. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you go, it's 13%, what did you say? | ||
| 13% more difficult than regular running. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I forgot the fact, what you just said, from the time we walked in... | ||
| I lost it, so I don't have the retention that I wish I had. | ||
| I gotta get you some alpha brain. | ||
| I need something. | ||
| Do we have any here? | ||
| Is that what I'm missing in my diet? | ||
| Alpha brain? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| What's interesting, though, is that people will come up to me with shit that happened just a few years ago, and I'm like, I don't remember that at all. | ||
| I think you have a certain amount of room in your brain, and my brain is always deleting stuff that it doesn't think it needs anymore, and then shoving in new things. | ||
| Sometimes someone will tell me about something. | ||
| I'm like, what are you talking about? | ||
| And they're like, you don't remember? | ||
| There was the guy with no arms who drove us around. | ||
| I went, what? | ||
| What? | ||
| And then I have to go, oh yeah! | ||
| It's like I find the folder in my head and like, oh there it is! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! | |
| And then we went to the pool hall! | ||
| And then I'll remember. | ||
| Gotcha. | ||
| But if, yeah, it's just... | ||
| For whatever reason, I only keep things that I'm interested in. | ||
| Gotcha. | ||
| I just wish I could retain a lot of the things I either see or hear to then recall it in a conversation. | ||
| You can, but you've got to write things down and you've got to want to recall things. | ||
| Yeah, that's a problem. | ||
| I don't do a lot of writing as far as like a notepad or anything to just take notes. | ||
| When you write your act, do you write it in your head or do you write it on paper or computer? | ||
| It's audio. | ||
| Just audio. | ||
| I go to the comedy store, I record it and I listen to it on the way home and then I go, oh, maybe I'll do this next time, maybe I'll do that. | ||
| I'll take that out, this out. | ||
| So there's no writing. | ||
| My act is more recalling stories than sitting in a room going, oh, I think this is funny. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| So that's kind of how I work. | ||
| But, yeah, the reason I say that to start off is just like I see you go down a lot of different paths on the podcast, and I often go, man, if I was sitting in that chair, could I add to the conversation? | ||
| And a lot of times it's, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I can't. | ||
| Just because, for whatever the reason, I just feel like I need to be a little bit more well-read. | ||
| How often do you read? | ||
| Like, I read the Goggins book. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Great fucking book. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sad life that dude had, huh? | ||
| Sad life, but then on the flip side, inspiring to a guy like myself, where I'm running, say I'm working out, and I thought of this guy, I go, you know what, let's put another mile into this. | ||
| So, yeah, I mean, I'm just now starting to get into a little bit more books than I have in the past, because in the past, to be honest with you, I haven't really read much. | ||
| I try to read one new thing a week, and the way I try to do it is I use a lot of audiobooks, but I also read books. | ||
| I go back and forth in between them, between reading and audiobooks. | ||
| But I find for whatever reason I retain more with audiobooks than I do with reading. | ||
| Maybe it's my ADD or something like that, because when I'm reading I kind of have to back up sometimes. | ||
| I'll go through a whole paragraph where I'm thinking about some other shit while I'm reading. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then I gotta go, okay, asshole, back up, reread that, go over it again, you know? | ||
| That's what I find. | ||
| My mind wanders, like you're saying. | ||
| The audiobook definitely is a better option. | ||
| Yeah, I think all stand-up comedians have scattered brains, at least in some way. | ||
| All of us are a little fucked up. | ||
| I think we have to be. | ||
| I think the mind works in a weird way in a comedian's head. | ||
| I think it has to be a little bit fragmented and thinking a lot of different things at once in order to operate. | ||
| I mean, you're doing it on stage, I think. | ||
| You're doing your comedy, and I'm self-evaluating, going, is this working right now? | ||
| Should I go off into another bit? | ||
| Should I talk about my family? | ||
| I see they're liking family stuff. | ||
| So I think... | ||
| That's what we're doing when we're performing, and then sometimes I think that bleeds to everyday life. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Yeah, when you're doing a bit, are you thinking about what you're, are you like, do you have a bit on deck? | ||
| Like while you're in the middle of the bit, do you like go from there, I'm going to talk about, you know, the gym or the, you know, the this or the that? | ||
| It's funny, and I don't know if you go through this. | ||
| Do you ever go through, well, first of all, when you're doing comedy, do you have a beginning, middle, and end, and do you know where you're going throughout that whole set? | ||
| Or do you, in the moment, go, you know what, I'm going to do the bit about that, that, that. | ||
| Or is it set? | ||
| It's both. | ||
| It depends when. | ||
| Like, right now, I don't have a lot of material. | ||
| Because my Netflix special came out in October, so November, December, January. | ||
| I have basically three months worth of new shit, which is about 40 minutes of all told material. | ||
| And then I have 20 other minutes that are... | ||
| They're in the baking stage. | ||
| I'm not ready to take them out of the oven. | ||
| I fuck around with them. | ||
| I'll shove them in the middle a bit sometimes. | ||
| But they're not 100% legit. | ||
| They need to be fleshed out. | ||
| But one of those became one of my best bits now. | ||
| It's weird how that works. | ||
| Sometimes you'll just find this one part of it that makes it work and boom! | ||
| All of a sudden the bit's turbocharged. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| So, because of that, I usually decide that day usually what I'm going to open with, and then I leave the middle part up to my imagination, and then I decide what I'm going to close with. | ||
| But when I'm ready to do a Netflix special, I basically have it all mapped out. | ||
| I basically have a starting point and I have an end point. | ||
| Yeah, but even like when I'm filming I still fuck around and ad-lib because I don't think Because every show I do I don't I don't have like I'm gonna say it verbatim this way every time I always fuck around because I always feel like I could find a new way That's better if I just stay loose and so even when I'm filming I do it that way because I'd figure I want this to be like a real show It's a real show And I always film four shows. | ||
| So I'm like, if it's a real show, I'll fuck around. | ||
| I've been filming before and I fuck around. | ||
| I go down a dark road and there's no one there. | ||
| I'm like, alright, turn around. | ||
| Thank God for editing. | ||
| Yeah, I think that's the way to do it, though, to be kind of in the moment and go with how you're feeling when you're filming something, just because that's the way you would be anyway, right? | ||
| But sometimes, I've learned in the past, when I'm filming something, I feel like, man, I'd like to get everything that I want out on this special show. | ||
| And I don't want to forget anything. | ||
| Because there'll be nights where I'll be performing and I forgot a bit. | ||
| I'll be searching in my head for the bit and I'm like, I know there's another something that goes along this. | ||
| But then I just jump off it and go into another routine. | ||
| So for me, I don't know, I like to keep it different every night. | ||
| Just try and... | ||
| It's weird now that a Netflix special, one came out, and I don't really subscribe to... | ||
| If I have a Netflix special out and you come to a live show, you're going to see some of those bits that I did in the Netflix special. | ||
| I don't retire the act. | ||
| I know some guys go, okay, it's out there. | ||
| I'm not doing this on my live show. | ||
| Myself, I still like to do some of that material because I enjoy doing it. | ||
| And I also have some new stuff. | ||
| And I don't know how long that lasts. | ||
| I know some people were like, oh, I saw that on Netflix. | ||
| Why am I going to pay to see it? | ||
| Live, if I could see it at home, but there's something about going out, I believe, to a live show and seeing a live performance. | ||
| There's different nuances that you might see in a bit or an add-on. | ||
| Sometimes I add on to the joke. | ||
| My jokes are sometimes never finished, so I keep adding on. | ||
| That's the way I've kind of worked at my entire career. | ||
| Yeah, Gaffigan does it that way. | ||
| Brian Regan does it that way, where guys will call out bits. | ||
| Like, if you go to see Gaffigan and he doesn't do Hot Pockets, you're going to get fucking mad. | ||
| There's a lot of people like that. | ||
| I retire my material, but I have brought stuff out before if people asked. | ||
| Like, someone asked me to bring up explaining Kim Kardashian's to the aliens the other night, and I was amazed that I could remember it, but I remembered it. | ||
| But for the most part, I retire shit because I feel like, in my mind, if I don't retire things, I'm not going to work on new things as much and limit myself. | ||
| And then I always feel like my newest bits are better than my older bits because even though I've been doing stand-up for 30 years, I still think I get better at it. | ||
| I think it's a constant state of self-evaluation and self-analysis and going over the material and then realize, you know, you have enough good sets and bad sets and great sets. | ||
| You have enough that you kind of recognize the characteristics of each one and where they go wrong, and then you get better at having less bad sets and even less good sets and more great sets. | ||
| And I think that, for me, One big part of that is constantly writing. | ||
| I write right. | ||
| I sit down and I write right. | ||
| And I write one hour every night after shows. | ||
| That's one big one. | ||
| I write during the day. | ||
| But the big one for me seems to be at night when I come home from the store and I'm jazzed up. | ||
| And also it's great too because everyone's asleep. | ||
| It's just me and the dog. | ||
| And I just fucking sit at that desk and I'll just work until my eyes start falling. | ||
| Blinking and I start getting really tired and some of my best shit I've ever come up with is that way Wow after shows because I'm all I'm juiced up and then I also have a process of listening to the show in the car because you know that's one of the coolest things about Bluetooth audio that you get your phone you record it on your phone and then in the car home you can listen and And you can go, ah, I fucked that up. | ||
| Or, oh, I should have done it this way. | ||
| Or maybe if I do that. | ||
| Or you have an idea. | ||
| Like, I'll pause it. | ||
| I'll go, oh, I got another idea. | ||
| And then I'll make a new voice note. | ||
| And then I'll go home and I'll listen to it again. | ||
| I'll listen to my set again and I'll pause it and then start working on stuff. | ||
| And that's how I've been able to expand all these bits pretty quickly. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| I find my best bits come out of just living my life. | ||
| And, you know, I have a daughter. | ||
| We went to the zoo. | ||
| And the nuances at the zoo that I picked up on. | ||
| I'll call my mother and I'll tell her a story. | ||
| And that's kind of my barometer of whether or not this thing is going to work on stage. | ||
| And then I'll go to the comedy store and kind of flush it out there. | ||
| But yeah, I mean, I've just never been the guy who... | ||
| Well, you don't have to. | ||
| Obviously, it's working for you. | ||
| There's a lot of guys who don't do it that way. | ||
| Bill Burr doesn't do it that way. | ||
| He's one of the best ever. | ||
| A lot of guys who just don't write. | ||
| For me, I feel like it's all about how much time and energy I put on things. | ||
| And if I put more time and energy just working on my act because I'm writing, then it's going to be better. | ||
| That's just how I look at it. | ||
| Yeah, everybody's got their own process. | ||
| I'm fascinated to hear guys like yourself. | ||
| Seinfeld's another guy that every word is planned out. | ||
| And you can hear it with him, too. | ||
| You really hear it. | ||
| His act is like a scalpel. | ||
| He's slicing the perfect slice. | ||
| He knows exactly how to say it. | ||
| He's got perfect timing. | ||
| His use of words. | ||
| Whether or not you... | ||
| Any comic can appreciate that. | ||
| Any comic can appreciate the way he does that. | ||
| There's a lot of guys who are like that, who just have that. | ||
| Did you ever watch Jenny at all? | ||
| I have, and his timing, I think, was... | ||
| I think timing in comedy is something, a bit of a lost art. | ||
| I don't think a lot of comedians are really taking to timing. | ||
| Like they have in the past. | ||
| And I don't know if they're scared of the silence. | ||
| Because a lot of timing is silent. | ||
| And a lot of guys and women tend to not relish in those moments of silence where sometimes it's comedy gold. | ||
| A lot of people run through the material. | ||
| And for me, as an audience member, I like someone who kind of... | ||
| Gives you, as an audience member, a little beat or maybe some time to kind of marinate in the joke a little bit, opposed to kind of blowing through the material. | ||
| Don't you feel that, like, when you're in a large audience, that's even more critical? | ||
| Because you have, like, there's thousands of people, and it seems like a big pause, like, in between punchlines, or you give a person a chance, give this whole group of people a chance to think about how ridiculous what you just said was. | ||
| It enhances it. | ||
| Oh, absolutely. | ||
| I mean, especially, like you said, in a large audience, which is even more fearful for a comedian to let the joke breathe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because God knows, you know, if you got a thousand people and then you got 20,000 people, I mean, you know, 19 more thousand people... | ||
| Could yell or scream or say something. | ||
| Anything can go wrong. | ||
| Yeah, but man, to stop and just let that joke breathe a little bit and then maybe have it percolate. | ||
| There's times where I'm on stage and I'll go... | ||
| I thought I was going to go without talking, but maybe give it like a facial expression or whatnot just to see if I could eke out another crescendo of laughter. Yeah. | ||
| And those are the moments I really relish in because sometimes the silence is even better than saying anything. Yeah. | ||
| And you also realize that you're not like rushing anything. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You got a hold of it. | ||
| Yeah, at least for myself, my act is more like a... | ||
| It needs to kind of sit. | ||
| I don't really do well on five-minute talk shows, doing a four-and-a-half-minute set on Fallon. | ||
| I need to go out there. | ||
| It takes me two minutes to get warm. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| And like to get into a joke right away, to me, I just need time. | ||
| I need to let it breathe. | ||
| Yeah, no, I feel the same way. | ||
| I've always felt those late night talk show sets are so strange. | ||
| Not only that, but you're basically opening for yourself. | ||
| I mean, because no one has done stand-up yet except the monologue, which is kind of stand-up but kind of not because it's all like what's happening today and everybody knows that it's been written. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| And then you go out and do a stand-up set, and oftentimes you see guys go out and they'll do a stand-up set and they don't even have a microphone. | ||
| They're doing a stand-up set and they don't know what the fuck to do with their hands. | ||
| It's odd. | ||
| The first time I did a stand-up set on TV, I said, I need the microphone. | ||
| I can't go out there. | ||
| I've been doing comedy for, what, 12 years it had been, and then I got like a Leno. | ||
| I go, I need... | ||
| A physical microphone. | ||
| Yeah, I'm used to this. | ||
| I'm not going to go out there all of a sudden now, and like you said, what am I going to do with my hands? | ||
| So every time I do a late-night set, I need a microphone. | ||
| Do you still do those? | ||
| No, not anymore. | ||
| I like to do... | ||
| It's like comedy on the couch, you know? | ||
| It's like you go on Fallon or what have you, and it's all premeditated. | ||
| Burr's the master at that. | ||
| Oh, he's so good. | ||
| He's the master. | ||
| He's the best at sitting down there and saying something fucked up, and they're just like, you know? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's good. | |
| He's just got a great way of handling the couch. | ||
| Yeah, he makes it sound like just two guys talking and then there's cameras filming it. | ||
| Sometimes it could look like, okay, you asked the question, I give the answer. | ||
| But for whatever reason, it's so natural for him. | ||
| It's like, this guy looks like he's talking at a diner. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| No, he's mastered the art of not giving a fuck. | ||
| He's very comfortable. | ||
| But that's who he is all day. | ||
| He just ramps it up a couple extra clicks when he goes on stage. | ||
| When you're hanging out with him, that's Burr. | ||
| Yeah, it's not a far departure from what we're seeing. | ||
| He's got one thing down, too. | ||
| That guy does not fuck with social media. | ||
| He's not doing nothing. | ||
| Oh, he's not even on it. | ||
| I guess he posts stuff. | ||
| Well, you know, I follow him on Instagram and every once in a while I'll see something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which, you know, for me, I've kind of weaned off the social media a little bit. | ||
| I know a lot of guys live on it and they take you into their lives and here's, you know, like here, I follow Burt Kreischer. | ||
| I knew you were going to say Burt Kreischer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm wondering if the people around Burt Kreischer are going to him. | ||
| All right, Burt, you want to lose the phone? | ||
| We're having dinner here. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Because, man, he really gives you a bird's eye view into not only his family life, but he's on a ski lift and he's got skis and this and that, which I appreciate. | ||
| It's just for me, I don't know, is there some... | ||
| A little sense of privacy every once in a while. | ||
| Well, in Burt's defense, what Burt did was he had a legit TV gig. | ||
| He was doing Burt the Conqueror. | ||
| And what was the other one? | ||
| The other one where he was traveling around? | ||
| Trip Flip. | ||
| Trip Flip. | ||
| And, you know, he was doing really well. | ||
| But he was gone for long stretches of time away from his family. | ||
| And he wasn't getting to do much stand-up. | ||
| And he and I had a conversation about it, and I said, Stu, you're too funny to be just working for a television show. | ||
| Anybody can do a television show, but not everybody can do stand-up the way you did stand-up. | ||
| And he, somewhere along the line, decided, alright, fuck this TV shit. | ||
| And I'm just going to concentrate on stand-up. | ||
| And a big part of that was social media. | ||
| So a big part of it for him was, you know, every year we have this Sober October crew. | ||
| It's Ari, Tom Segura, me, and Bert, and we do a one-month challenge. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Last year was a fitness challenge, and before that it was a hot yoga challenge, and before that they had to lose weight. | ||
| So we've only done it twice. | ||
| But it's a big thing, social media-wise. | ||
| A bunch of people hop on board with it, a bunch of people join in, and they take a month off boozing, too. | ||
| And for Bert, that's fucking hard. | ||
| That guy goes hard in the paint with the booze. | ||
| So for him, that... | ||
| The Sober October stuff and the weight loss stuff propelled his career. | ||
| I mean, everything started taking off. | ||
| The Netflix special started taking off. | ||
| Stand-up shows are sold out everywhere. | ||
| People know him. | ||
| They know he takes off his shirt when he goes on stage now. | ||
| It's a totally different thing. | ||
| So I get it with him because that's what brought him to the dance, social media. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| And that guy's figured it out. | ||
| I'm just using Burt as an example of a guy who's on social media a ton and has figured out a way to weave that into his kind of aura and what he does professionally. | ||
| But for me, I feel I get a little... | ||
| I feel like everything I do on social media has to be funny. | ||
| If I do a post, I feel like it has to be funny. | ||
| I feel a little bit intimidated to put something out that's just me doing X, Y, and Z. And that's where I feel I fail at social media, and I feel like I've kind of weaned off it. | ||
| And sometimes I look at my Instagram or my Twitter, it looks like a... | ||
| I'm going to be here. | ||
| I'm going to be here. | ||
| Here's my shows. | ||
| There's no real kind of substance to it at all. | ||
| Yeah, that bothers some people. | ||
| But the good thing is, I mean, I get what people go, all you do is promote your shows. | ||
| Yeah, but I'm promoting my shows. | ||
| You know, this is where I am. | ||
| If you like my shows, that's where I'm going to be. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| But I see what you're saying as a comic, because Ari Shaffir said that too. | ||
| He doesn't want to put anything on Instagram or Twitter unless it's funny. | ||
| That's what he concentrates on. | ||
| He was even saying that he was going to mock people that are comedians that say things that aren't funny. | ||
| I'm like, well, then you're going to be mocking me. | ||
| I say a lot of shit that's not funny. | ||
| He's like, yeah, but you do other things. | ||
| Which is weird, because I do do other things, whether it's podcasting all the time or doing the UFC commentary. | ||
| If I watch some fights and I start posting about MMA, I'm not trying to be funny. | ||
| It's just what it is. | ||
| You're living in a lot of different worlds. | ||
| And I look at your Instagram, you're cooking meat, right? | ||
| But for me, I'm thinking, how the hell does he get the meat from top to bottom, like medium rare throughout? | ||
| For me, that's more of a learn... | ||
| I can teach you, Sebastian. | ||
| I can teach you. | ||
| You know what the key is? | ||
| Cooking it slowly. | ||
| That's the key. | ||
| So you got this grill. | ||
| It's a Traeger. | ||
| It's a pellet grill. | ||
| Pellet grill. | ||
| I'll get you one. | ||
| You want one? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| If it gets my meat the way it gets your meat, I would love one. | ||
| I'll have them send you one, 100%. | ||
| Perfect. | ||
| Do you know what one of those are? | ||
| Do you know how they work? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's fucking fantastic. | ||
| Say if someone wants to make a desk like this out of hardwood, like this oak, The sawdust, they take the sawdust from sawmills and they compress it and they make these little tiny pellets. | ||
| And so there's no chemicals, no nothing, it's just wood. | ||
| And then the way a pellet grill works, there's a bunch of really good companies that make them. | ||
| I use a Traeger, but I've used a Yoder, that's a great one too, and Green Mountain Grills, that's a great one. | ||
| They all work the same way. | ||
| They have a heating element and a worm drive. | ||
| So you have this big bucket of these pellets. | ||
| And then the worm drive feeds the pellets into this heating element. | ||
| And the heating element makes the pellets catch fire. | ||
| So once they catch fire, it's a matter of how much pellets and how much fan to keep the... | ||
| That's what it looks like up there. | ||
| See, look at this, Joe. | ||
| I'm looking at this, and I'm like, that looks like a lot of work. | ||
| First of all, you've got to get a side pellet catch-all. | ||
| But it's there. | ||
| It comes with the whole thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, but then you've got to go buy the pellets. | |
| I'll have it delivered to you. | ||
| I'll have it delivered. | ||
| I'm trying to get more people to cook like this because it's just wood and fire. | ||
| It's the best. | ||
| There's no chemicals, there's no bullshit, no lighter fluid, no gas, no nothing. | ||
| So your entire meat process is on this grill. | ||
| Except the end. | ||
| At the end, this is a different grill than I have, because this one has a thing on the side. | ||
| If you see that thing on the right-hand side, that looks like a direct flame thing. | ||
| Looks like it's got gas as well, right? | ||
| The one that I have doesn't have that, but at the end, I sear it at the very end on a cast-iron frying pan. | ||
| So I cook it from between 225 to 275 degrees, which is pretty low. | ||
| And I'll cook it until it hits an internal temperature, depending upon what I'm cooking. | ||
| Somewhere around 120 to the maximum, like, 130-ish. | ||
| Then I take it out, and I have a cast-iron frying pan, as hot as a motherfucker, and I use either a beef tallow or grass-fed butter. | ||
| And then I sear the shit out of that with some garlic, and I throw some thyme in there, and fucking flip it over, and get that good sear, and then I let it sit for a minimum of 10 minutes. | ||
| And then you slice that motherfucker. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nice. | |
| Okay, so your meat is unbelievable. | ||
| I've seen it on the Instagram. | ||
| So I do something similar, but I do it in the oven. | ||
| I don't do it in the grill. | ||
| I do a slow cook in the oven, and then I take it out, I let it rest for, I think, 15 minutes, and then I do a sear jab. | ||
| But I'm always looking for better ways to... | ||
| To cook meat. | ||
| And if you're saying that this pellet thing, does it add any flavor? | ||
| Yes, that's what's good about it because it's smoky hardwood. | ||
| Gotcha. | ||
| So it's all smoke. | ||
| You lift the thing up, smoke's coming out of it and everything. | ||
| It's a nice aromatic smoke. | ||
| All right, that's what I need. | ||
| It's like cherry smoke or... | ||
| Oak or, you know, hickory or maple, all these different hardwoods. | ||
| You could choose a bunch of different kinds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, perfect. | |
| Okay, so you're not getting that in the oven. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| It's different. | ||
| And there's also a setting on a Traeger called Super Smoke, where you hit it. | ||
| It can't be over 225, but that's what I like anyway. | ||
| And you put it on 225, and it just constantly fans hard and pushes all this smoke. | ||
| So it just gets this deep, rich, smoky flavor in the meat. | ||
| Bellissima. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nice. | |
| But I like, if you're not into that too, I like a regular Weber grill. | ||
| Like one of those little fucking Weber, you know, the little... | ||
| Hibachi. | ||
| Yeah, what are those things called that you get? | ||
| What would you call them? | ||
| Like a drum, looks like a half a drum. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like a barreled fucking thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Grill, I don't know. | |
| Yeah, but the way it looks like, it looks like a cup. | ||
| It's like a black... | ||
| Yeah, the black ones. | ||
| They're like steel. | ||
| Those, what I like, those with just lump charcoal. | ||
| That puts a nice flavor on it too. | ||
| The key is don't fuck around with chemicals. | ||
| When you start using lighter fluid and shit, that adds weird taste to your food. | ||
| It does. | ||
| Yeah, and even if you buy that lump charcoal, those charcoal briquettes, rather, the charcoal briquettes, there's something in them that makes them that shape. | ||
| They have to, and then they, you know, oh, they light fast. | ||
| Yeah, because there's fucking gasoline in them. | ||
| But lump charcoal, meaning they just take hardwood and then they burn that shit down to, you know, that clunky-looking lump charcoal. | ||
| Just get that stuff and then take some newspaper and roll the newspaper up in one of those. | ||
| You ever use one of those little chimneys? | ||
| Do you know what those things are? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's a barbecue chimney. | ||
| It's like you pour the charcoal in this tube, and at the bottom of the tube, you take pieces of paper and you crumple them up in balls, and then you light the balls on fire, and the fire rises up from the paper to the charcoal, and it lights the charcoal on fire, and then you dump the charcoal out into the grill. | ||
| And that puts a nice flavor on it, too. | ||
| But it's, again, the same kind of feeling. | ||
| It's like wood, just this wood flavor on the meat. | ||
| It's nice. | ||
| I'm sold. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I'm a big fan of cooking. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I went to this restaurant the other night, the APL restaurant. | ||
| Yeah, I saw that on your Instagram. | ||
| Good meat? | ||
| I ate a 380-day dry-aged steak. | ||
| This guy, I'm going to get him on here. | ||
| He's a chef. | ||
| His name's Adam Perry Lang. | ||
| He's the guy who runs the place. | ||
| And I've never even heard of someone doing something like that. | ||
| You hear dry-aged steak is like 30 days. | ||
| He's taken it to some weird, crazy place where he's got these... | ||
| These steaks in his gigantic walk-in freezer area where everything is dry-aging, they have certain microbes they put in the air, and then they have fans. | ||
| So it's a certain type of bacteria that they want that covers over the meat, a certain type of mold. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| So it delivers this very strange taste. | ||
| It's not like any steak that I've ever had in my life. | ||
| It's very weird. | ||
| It's delicious. | ||
| That's what it looks like. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Yeah, that's 380-day dry-aged steak. | ||
| He says it smells like foie gras. | ||
| It does. | ||
| It smells very strange. | ||
| It's very different. | ||
| Yeah, and I've heard about this place. | ||
| Phenomenal. | ||
| And I haven't been there yet. | ||
| This is in Hollywood, right? | ||
| I'll take you. | ||
| We'll go together. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| After a show. | ||
| I'm ready to go, man. | ||
| It's on Vine in Hollywood. | ||
| It's phenomenal. | ||
| But it's not for everybody. | ||
| My wife is not into it. | ||
| She likes regular steak. | ||
| She's like, ah, yeah. | ||
| It's strong flavor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| It's a different flavor. | ||
| It doesn't taste like anything you've ever had before. | ||
| It doesn't taste like venison. | ||
| It doesn't taste like bison. | ||
| It doesn't taste like a rib eye that you get from Flemings or something like that. | ||
| It tastes very, very different. | ||
| Oh, I love foie gras. | ||
| If it tastes like that, then I'm in... | ||
| It sort of does, but not really. | ||
| It smells like foie gras. | ||
| It tastes like itself. | ||
| It doesn't taste like anything I've ever had. | ||
| But that's when you're fucking geeking out hard. | ||
| There's a show that I binge watch on YouTube. | ||
| It's called The Meat Show. | ||
| I think the YouTube channel is called Eater and then the show is called The Meat Show. | ||
| This guy just travels around going to all these different super high-end restaurants that serve steak and trying to see what their preparation is and what they do differently. | ||
| You could fucking lose your mind with that stuff. | ||
| Yeah, you could go down a deep dark hole with me. | ||
| But hey man, I'm willing to try anything. | ||
| I'm more like experimental as far as when it comes to food. | ||
| My wife not so much. | ||
| She's very picky. | ||
| Do you use recipes? | ||
| Do you use cookbooks? | ||
| I have used cookbooks in the past, but I do a majority of the cooking in my house. | ||
| I come from, you know, my mom used to cook a lot, and my father used to do a lot of fish. | ||
| So I don't do a lot of recipes. | ||
| It's more like, Dad, how do you make the mussel for the mussel sauce? | ||
| And then he'll, you know, take me through it. | ||
| So nothing's written down. | ||
| It's just like your act. | ||
| A lot of improvising, yeah. | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| What are you into? | ||
| You like linguine with clams? | ||
| What kind of stuff do you cook? | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I like a lot of pasta. | ||
| I like a nice bolognese sauce. | ||
| However, I'm trying to stay away from those types of meals because in the past I ballooned up to 205, 207, not giving a crap about My health or anything. | ||
| And recently, I've lost some weight due to the fact that I've been watching my diet. | ||
| Because you know, I mean, I don't know. | ||
| I mean, you're in shape, so you seem a lot more disciplined than a lot of comedians when it comes to... | ||
| To health. | ||
| But for myself, I have taken on a regimen of not drinking wine. | ||
| I used to have a little wine after the meal or during the meal. | ||
| So I've eliminated that. | ||
| And I've been doing some Pilates. | ||
| Pilates? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Which has helped my... | ||
| My balance and my core. | ||
| Underrated exercise. | ||
| Very underrated. | ||
| I gotta tell you, Joe, this Pilates has really changed the way I look at physical fitness. | ||
| You know who's really into Pilates? | ||
| Sergei Kovalev. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, he just regained the WBC or WBC, I forget which light heavyweight championship on Saturday night. | ||
| He's the crusher. | ||
| He's this badass Russian motherfucker. | ||
| And he just, I mean at 35 I think he is, just regained his title. | ||
| And his routine is very unusual. | ||
| And one of the things that he does for his exercise is Pilates. | ||
| And, you know, people make fun of it, but the guy's got strength in all these weird places. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And full range of motion and flexibility and... | ||
| Well, that's what I have. | ||
| I'm 45, so my range of motion, my shoulders screwed up, my legs, my knee, and this has given me an exercise where I could not only improve my flexibility, but man, I mean, you walk out, I'm drenched. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so, yeah, I'm getting back on the physical fitness thing, because I've been on the road so, so much that I kind of let that slip a little, but I want to get back. | ||
| Yeah, you know, some guys are real good about working out on the road. | ||
| Like Brian Callen goes, everywhere he goes, he'll go to a gym. | ||
| He's real good at that. | ||
| Like he'll go and go work out with kickboxers, work out with jujitsu guys. | ||
| Brian does a lot of boxing. | ||
| So he'll find like a local boxing gym and have a guy hold the pads for him, maybe do even a little light sparring. | ||
| He gets really into it on the road. | ||
| But I think that's the key is like to force yourself to not stay in your hotel and wait till the show goes. | ||
| You just got to force yourself to get out and go do something. | ||
| Yeah, I wish I was a self-motivated guy, but I need help. | ||
| So I've taken... | ||
| My buddy John Petrelli is a personal trainer, so he comes on the road with me and motivates me to get up and go. | ||
| We do swimming. | ||
| We do a lot of different things. | ||
| This guy's... | ||
| I like him to you because he's into mixed martial arts. | ||
| He's into hunting. | ||
| He's one of these guys that is a great motivator and really helped me get my life back together when it comes to physical fitness. | ||
| Because again, I was lifting weights. | ||
| Everything was falling apart. | ||
| And now with the swimming and Pilates, I feel like I have something to look forward to when it comes to training. | ||
| To working out. | ||
| Because to go to the gym for me wasn't fun anymore. | ||
| It's like, what am I going to do? | ||
| Biceps and chest. | ||
| It's over. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I ain't doing 225 ever again. | |
| That was my workout. | ||
| Since I was like 18, I'd go in. | ||
| Nothing changed. | ||
| It was 225s. | ||
| And then let's do some curls and neglect the abs and go home. | ||
| Neglect the legs. | ||
| No legs. | ||
| Although I did have... | ||
| I played soccer growing up, so I did have those soccer legs. | ||
| I got like Earl Campbell thighs. | ||
| Yeah, soccer is one of the best exercises ever. | ||
| I mean, it's also a great way to blow your ACL out. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| Yeah, everybody's shifting left and right and all that. | ||
| There's a fucking picture. | ||
| You know Big Boy, the DJ? Yeah. | ||
| His fucking son, there's a video, he retweeted it. | ||
| His son is a football player, and there's a video of his son where someone's trying to tackle him, and he moves like a fucking ghost. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| It was one of those rare things where you see something and you're legitimately impressed. | ||
| Like, holy shit! | ||
| I watched it like five times in a row. | ||
| This kid's footwork is incredible. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, but... | ||
| Footwork. | ||
| Who's in better shape than soccer players? | ||
| They're constantly sprinting. | ||
| The whole game is like, and you have to maintain that stamina. | ||
| You're constantly sprinting. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of mileage you're putting on in a soccer game. | ||
| Although, you know what gives me, and you are probably going to laugh as well as your listeners, believe me. | ||
| Pickleball. | ||
| You ever play that? | ||
| Pickleball? | ||
| What is that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pickleball. | |
| Pickleball? | ||
| It's like tennis and ping pong and you play it in a gymnasium. | ||
| So it's like a net and you got paddles and talk about moving side to side. | ||
| It's fun and you burn a ton of calories. | ||
| And you do it in a gym? | ||
| You do it in a gym. | ||
| Like a basketball court. | ||
| So it's like racquetball, but there's a net. | ||
| There's a net. | ||
| You're not bouncing it off the wall. | ||
| You're playing it like tennis? | ||
| Yeah, it's a court. | ||
| Small net. | ||
| And you have... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is this what's on that, like in Venice, those little small courts? | |
| Is this it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
A lot of old... | |
| Is this it? | ||
| Look at these kids. | ||
| Hello, my name is Fred. | ||
| This is my wife, Wendy. | ||
| Listen, you're going to laugh, all right? | ||
| There's a lot of old people that play this, but I'm telling you... | ||
| This is embarrassing. | ||
| And so you each have four people? | ||
| Yeah, you could do doubles, but me and my buddy play just one-on-one. | ||
| And I'm telling you, it's not only fun, but you burn a lot of calories, and you don't even know you're doing it because I'm diving. | ||
| It's one of the exercises that we really enjoy. | ||
| So listen to what he's got you doing. | ||
| He's got you doing Pilates and pickleball. | ||
| What's next? | ||
| Ballet? | ||
| He's working his way. | ||
| You know what he's working towards. | ||
| I don't have to tell you. | ||
| I'm telling you, I know a lot of 68-year-old people play this, but if you're looking for a low-impact, fun activity... | ||
| It looks good! | ||
| No, it does! | ||
| Look, I know tennis is fucking hard. | ||
| Tennis, man, it's another thing. | ||
| This is like tennis reduced to a smaller court, basically. | ||
| Probably healthier for you. | ||
| Not as hard on the ankles and the knees. | ||
| It's not as hard. | ||
| We'll have to go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
After we have our steak, we'll go for a game. | |
| Where would one go? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They have courts in Venice Beach. | |
| That's what I thought it was. | ||
| I've always seen these small tennis courts there and I didn't know really what people were playing on. | ||
| So they're calling it paddle tennis. | ||
| Yeah, maybe this. | ||
| But this is what it is. | ||
| These guys look ridiculous. | ||
| They should just go home. | ||
| This is outrageous. | ||
| What are you doing, sir? | ||
| I'm telling you, put a little English. | ||
| Listen, I grew up playing ping pong. | ||
| I'm really good at ping pong. | ||
| Are you really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So this is like a larger version of ping pong. | ||
| Yeah, it looks like it's fun. | ||
| All bullshit aside, that looks like a good time. | ||
| It's fun, believe me. | ||
| I know your listeners are dying laughing right now, but I'm telling you, it's good. | ||
| That's what I'm doing, Joe. | ||
| So you take your trainer with you on the road. | ||
| That's the move. | ||
| Where'd you meet this guy? | ||
| I've known him for 20 years. | ||
| I met him on the set of Days of Our Lives doing extra work. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Days of Our Lives. | ||
| When I first came out to LA in 1998, I was the type of guy I would do these weird mailings to get work. | ||
| So for Days of Our Lives, no, it was General Hospital. | ||
| General Hospital. | ||
| Take a headshot, and then take a post-it note, and I would write on the post-it note, ready to operate. | ||
| I stuck it to the headshot, and I sent it out. | ||
| So I would do these weird little mailings where, oh, maybe the person opening the mail would go, oh, and get a little chuckle and whatnot. | ||
| So I met him doing extra work. | ||
| This is what I used to do for some extra cash. | ||
| And we became fast friends. | ||
| He's an Italian kid, and... | ||
| Similar upbringing, middle class. | ||
| He's from New York. | ||
| I'm from Chicago. | ||
| Just a great, great guy. | ||
| He set me up with my wife. | ||
| That's how I know my wife through him. | ||
| He's been a huge, huge help for me. | ||
| That's awesome, man. | ||
| If you can find a guy who actually knows what he's doing, that is so huge because they also know what you need. | ||
| They're like, hey, we need to concentrate more on your rear delts and the issues you're having with your shoulders or your mobility, so we're going to work on some band work first and warm you up. | ||
| You could fuck yourself up just doing it by yourself. | ||
| I did. | ||
| You really could. | ||
| I did, and you're right. | ||
| He knows what to work on, what to loosen up. | ||
| Let's not jump right into the exercise. | ||
| Let's warm it up a little bit. | ||
| So yeah, I credit him to kind of get me back on the health and fitness. | ||
| Plus, we're taking our own meals. | ||
| That's another thing. | ||
| We pack our own meals. | ||
| We get like a service, and we bring breakfast, lunch, and dinner on the road. | ||
| And that's our meals. | ||
| Whoa, you're taking it to another level. | ||
| Yeah, well, listen, I was going out having a dry-aged at midnight. | ||
| I was eating a full-blown steak, asparagus, and baked potato, and then I would go to bed. | ||
| Yeah, sounds good. | ||
| It's delicious. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| I'm doing that. | ||
| Blood ain't moving, right. | ||
| That is true. | ||
| You know, sometimes I will come home from the store, and I'm hungry, and I'll eat late night, and then I'll wake up almost hungover. | ||
| I'm like, what? | ||
| I didn't even drink. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I ate. | |
| I ate like a thousand calories at 2.30 in the morning. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, last night, my wife and I had sushi. | ||
| I woke up, and the sodium was unbelievable. | ||
| I was like, jeez! | ||
| From one thing of sushi? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I look like I need to go sweat in your sauna. | |
| Is it sodium in sushi? | ||
| Like what's it from the salt? | ||
| It's the soy sauce. | ||
| That's where at least I'm picking it up from. | ||
| Who are all these guys showing up at our door? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| But sodium is not... | ||
| What would it be in? | ||
| The soy sauce? | ||
| The soy sauce, right? | ||
| They have that green soy sauce that's like the low... | ||
| You know, they always have the low one and the high one. | ||
| They have the two different kinds of soy sauce. | ||
| Yeah, low sodium and high sodium. | ||
| I think last night I had the high sodium and I woke up and... | ||
| It wasn't good. | ||
| How much soy sauce are you using? | ||
| You know what I like? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you like? | |
| I like the soy sauce and then I like the wasabi. | ||
| I put a clump of that in. | ||
| In the soy sauce and then you mix it up? | ||
| I mix it up. | ||
| Make like a slurry? | ||
| Yeah, it gets thick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So when I eat the sushi, it burns my nose. | ||
| That's how I like it. | ||
| I like it that way, too. | ||
| Sometimes sushi chefs don't like it when you do that. | ||
| They get offended. | ||
| What, disrespecting the fish? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It should stand alone. | ||
| Did you ever see that movie, Jiro Dreams of Sushi? | ||
| Oh, is that the guy that's got that sushi joint in the train station? | ||
| Yeah, in Japan. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
| I've seen half of it. | ||
| It's really weird, because it changed my idea of what sushi is. | ||
| I used to think, oh, they're cutting fish up, they slap it on a piece of rice, it's great. | ||
| It's good, tastes good, clean, easy for you. | ||
| Now I realize this guy, it's his life's dedication to putting together the perfect tastes. | ||
| There was one guy that's been working on this egg plate for a year, trying to perfect it, trying to get it right. | ||
| Similar to like a joke, you know, trying to make the joke so perfect, just trying to get the dish so perfect. | ||
| But I would never have thought that with sushi. | ||
| I thought, like, if someone said a sushi chef, I'd be like, uh, yeah, right, okay. | ||
| Like, he's not really a chef. | ||
| He's just cutting up fish. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, but there's something about the way they're preparing these, I mean, yeah, it's one thing if you're getting like sashimi, it's just salmon, but if they're putting it together with rice and, you know, it's like a science. | ||
| Yeah, no, it's definitely a science. | ||
| It's also a science because they age the fish, which I didn't know. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| Yeah, I was watching this YouTube thing where these guys were going to the sushi place and they were saying that tuna, they will have their tuna in the refrigerator for as long as two weeks. | ||
| In preparation for sushi. | ||
| And just like dry-aged steak, the aging of the tuna breaks down, the bacteria break down some of the tissue and make it softer and more delicate and change the flavor profile. | ||
| Yeah, no, I had no idea. | ||
| I thought they caught it. | ||
| Don't you freeze fish for it to be sashimi grade? | ||
| Is that the deal? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Is that the case? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Let's find out what makes something sashimi great. | ||
| I saw there was a guy who caught a big ass fucking tuna and they sold it for three million dollars. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what I had queued up until you made me. | |
| Yeah, but go back to that. | ||
| What in the fuck is that? | ||
| Five thousand dollars a pound. | ||
| Japan's king of tuna. | ||
| Is that racist? | ||
| Is that racist? | ||
| The way I said it, it seemed racist. | ||
| The first tuna auction of the year at Tokyo's new fish market set a record price. | ||
| More than three million for a giant bluefin tuna, a critically endangered species. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah, see, that's where you gotta go, man. | ||
| Is it critically endangered? | ||
| And if it is so, should you really be cutting that fucker up? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know about that. | ||
| When I was in Hawaii, we caught some yellowtail. | ||
| My youngest daughter loves fishing, so I went out with her and we went on this boat and we were actually jigging. | ||
| There's like this shelf and this big drop-off and these yellowtails hang out there. | ||
| We caught a gang of them. | ||
| And one of the things they were saying was that The Big Island had a farm where they were farming yellowtail. | ||
| Like, they had this gigantic, like, sort of netted-in area where the fish couldn't leave, and they were trapped in this area. | ||
| But then this storm came and broke down all the nets, and the fish escaped. | ||
| And now they're everywhere, and you're catching them. | ||
| We caught, like, six or seven of them, and they're fucking big, like 10 pounds, and you're fighting them on, like, a light spinning rod. | ||
| So it's like... | ||
| Like, really awesome, awesome time. | ||
| But they were unbelievably delicious. | ||
| But these are non-native. | ||
| They brought them over there and released them. | ||
| Like, they better start doing that with other fish. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, they really should set up these fish farms and just release these motherfuckers out into the ocean. | ||
| Because they're just taking nets and pulling them across the bottom of the floor. | ||
| It's not even... | ||
| It's like such a... | ||
| There's something to be said about going out and catching the fish, like you're saying, rather than taking a net and just scooping everything up in its path. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| Turtles, dolphins, whatever the fuck is there. | ||
| Everything gets jacked. | ||
| And the problem is, you know, there's who knows how many countries have boats that are doing that. | ||
| And they're all operating in international water. | ||
| And I don't know what the fucking laws are, but they're just pulling what any, you know, the other thing they do that's fucked up when they're done. | ||
| A lot of times they cut the net loose and they just leave it in the ocean. | ||
| They just drop the net to the bottom of the ocean. | ||
| They have the regulations for hunting, but they don't have it in the ocean. | ||
| It's because nobody owns it. | ||
| You only own a certain amount of your shore. | ||
| Say, from Malibu out. | ||
| I don't know how much the United States owns, but we only own a certain amount. | ||
| And then it becomes international waters. | ||
| International waters is like anybody can be out there. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| I mean, it makes sense, but there's no... | ||
| I don't think there's any... | ||
| I think if you have a boat, you can just kind of go anywhere that's international water. | ||
| Just no regulations. | ||
| Here, what is... | ||
| What parts of the ocean are considered international water? | ||
| Territorial waters or territorial seas defined by a 1982 United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea. | ||
| It's a belt of coastal waters extending at most 12 nautical miles from the baseline, usually... | ||
| The mean low water mark of the coastal state. | ||
| So 12 miles. | ||
| So 12 miles out. | ||
| Or 13.8 miles? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, nautical miles. | |
| Oh, nautical miles is different, huh? | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Why is it different? | ||
| How weird is that? | ||
| Nautical miles is different than regular miles? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Get it together. | ||
| Don't call it a mile then, you fucks. | ||
| Imagine, hey buddy, I'll meet you at 12 miles. | ||
| Alright, 12 nautical miles. | ||
| And the guy's a mile and a.8 away from you. | ||
| Although stores use the label sushi-grade fish, there is no official standards for using this label. | ||
| The only regulation is that parasitic fish, such as salmon, should be frozen to kill any parasites for being consumed raw. | ||
| The best ones are assigned grade 1, which is usually what would be sold as sushi-grade. | ||
| But what about sashimi-grade, is what he said. | ||
| It's the same thing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's the same. | |
| That's why I looked up, and that's what popped up. | ||
| Yeah, you're not supposed to eat salmon raw, apparently. | ||
| Salmon is a freshwater fish, and salmon, it can fuck you up. | ||
| But you could pull a tuna out of the water. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right out of the ocean. | |
| Yeah, I have a buddy of mine who went in tuna fishing off of San Diego. | ||
| They caught a tuna, and they sliced it up and ate it right there on the boat, right after they pulled it out of the water. | ||
| That I haven't done, but that, to me, would be the best eating right out of the water. | ||
| I just hope they don't wait until there's nothing left before they start doing something to save them. | ||
| If you're taking a fish and you're buying it for $3 million, that's almost like a scene in a movie, right? | ||
| That's like the end. | ||
| This was one of the last tuna. | ||
| Look, they bought it for $3 million and everybody's smiling and they're cutting it up. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Hunting regulations are critical, but you know what the population is. | ||
| The fish and wildlife departments have all these different methods they use, whether it's using reports from hunters, whether it's they fly over with airplanes and helicopters and things along those lines. | ||
| Whatever they use, they have a bunch of different ways that they can determine what the population is, and then they determine the population of predators, how many animals are lost, how many animals are shot during any hunting season, and then they determine how many tags can be divvied out. | ||
| So, like, say if you live in an area, there might be 500 tags available, but there might be, like, 2,000 hunters that are applying for those tags. | ||
| So most people are not going to get it. | ||
| It's a very smart way. | ||
| They've really got it down to a science. | ||
| Because of that, there's more white-tailed deer in this country than even when Columbus landed. | ||
| They've got a really good system. | ||
| If they could figure something out for the ocean. | ||
| The problem is you have to get everybody to cooperate. | ||
| They can't even get Japan to stop killing whales. | ||
| There's certain Japanese folks who have this really sneaky thing they do, and there's this conservation group called the Sea Shepherds, and they catch these fucking people all the time. | ||
| But what they basically do is they say, we're a research boat. | ||
| And go slaughter whales and then sell the whales. | ||
| But they pretend that it's research. | ||
| But if they kill a whale, certain countries still value parts of whales. | ||
| They make things with it. | ||
| What the fuck do they make with whales? | ||
| I think they make some perfumes. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| But people are still killing whales. | ||
| It gets weird when things are smart. | ||
| That's when it gets weird. | ||
| Something as smart as a fucking whale. | ||
| Yeah, I mean... | ||
| Yeah, in these countries, they're using, like you said, parts of the fish for... | ||
| They put it on their mantle. | ||
| They got like a, I don't know, a tooth or what have you from a whale or a shark or whatever it is. | ||
| Well, that's the big thing with rhinos. | ||
| These guys cut the rhino horns off and they drink it like in a tea and it's supposed to make your dick hard. | ||
| See, this is what I'm talking about. | ||
| You know these things. | ||
| I mean, I don't know how the hell you remember all this stuff. | ||
| I just forgot the mileage off the coast. | ||
| 13.8 nautical miles. | ||
| 13.8 miles, 12 nautical miles. | ||
| 1.8 difference. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| 1.8 difference at 12 miles, which is, who knows how long, when you get to 500 miles out, you gotta do the math. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| It's stupid. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know how to remember these things. | ||
| It's a fucking screwy brain. | ||
| I wish I had your memory, Joe. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| It's not the best, I'm telling you. | ||
| It's like, there's a lot of shit that I don't remember. | ||
| I just remember things that are interesting. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I have a... | ||
| It's an odd sense of memory. | ||
| But the rhino horn thing is kind of sad because it doesn't even work. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Especially in this day and age where people can get Viagra. | ||
| It works. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But there's something about it, I think, in some Asian cultures where it's considered like a sign of wealth. | ||
| You drive a Rolls Royce. | ||
| You drink rhino tea. | ||
| This guy's a baller. | ||
| You know? | ||
| He doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| He drinks rhino tea. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like, oh, man. | ||
| What a guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But there's something about that. | ||
| Like, you know, yeah, I want to eat an extinct animal. | ||
| I want to bring a woolly mammoth back to life and shoot it in the head. | ||
| Like, there's some people that are like that. | ||
| Like, they want to be the ultimate conqueror. | ||
| And, you know, I want to eat a whale dick. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, there's people that are like that. | ||
| I'm just looking for a nice steak, Joe. | ||
| A nice steak or a good linguine with clam sauce. | ||
| That place that I saw you at when I was with my kids, Madeo's, that's a sensational Italian restaurant. | ||
| That place is legit. | ||
| Well, that place moved. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Have you been to the new place in Beverly Hills? | ||
| Where did they move? | ||
| I have not. | ||
| Beverly Hills somewhere, yeah. | ||
| So that place is excellent. | ||
| What's in the old spot? | ||
| They're redoing the whole building. | ||
| That's why they had to move. | ||
| So, I mean, I think that's one of the last times I've eaten there when I saw you and your kids having a meal there. | ||
| Yeah, that place is good. | ||
| The pastas are fantastic. | ||
| As good as it gets. | ||
| It's delicious. | ||
| They make the perfect linguine with clams. | ||
| They do. | ||
| It's like perfect. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It just is not too soupy. | ||
| You know, some people get crazy with the liquid, and you get it, and it's almost like bathing in a soup. | ||
| But they have it. | ||
| It's nice. | ||
| It's al dente. | ||
| It's got some chew to it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| And the place is authentic, too. | ||
| I mean, they got, like, guys walking around there from, like, Sicily and Italy. | ||
| And the owner is a little old man that kind of walks around and makes sure everything's okay, and he's speaking Italian, and, yeah, you feel like you're in Italy when you're here. | ||
| I saw Al Pacino there, so you know it's legit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, you did? | |
| Yes, I did. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yes, I did. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| You know what I saw there? | ||
| Shannon Doherty. | ||
| Remember her? | ||
| Oh, 90210? | ||
| She was like the original bad girl. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of celebrities that pop in. | ||
| I saw Jay-Z and Beyonce come in. | ||
| Oh, shit! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah! | |
| Shit! | ||
| They coming through the back door? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did they? | ||
| Oh, it was like a trap. | ||
| There's a tunnel under the ground. | ||
| Let's put the celebrities in. | ||
| Pop them up through. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| So, what was it like doing Madison Square Garden? | ||
| You did four shows in Madison Square Garden. | ||
| You did it in the round. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How many shows have you done in the round before? | ||
| Leading up to that, I'd say probably 15, 16. Oh, so you've done quite a few in the round. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you like it? | ||
| It's a different animal. | ||
| And my act is very physical and expressive, so it kind of works for that type of environment. | ||
| Although you have to... | ||
| Listen, there's a screen above you, so people are watching screens when they go to shows anyway. | ||
| But the challenge to do it in the round is to hit those people within the first five rows that maybe can't see the screen, because once you go to the other side of the stage, You got your back to them, and it's kind of difficult to... | ||
| Look at you there. | ||
| Wow, that's so crazy. | ||
| That's 18,000 people? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's fucking bananas, dude. | ||
| So yeah, it's been, for New York, New York for me has been really, really good to me over the years. | ||
| Obviously, I'm Italian, and there's a lot of Italians in the New York City area. | ||
| But what I think has happened is I'm talking about, like, family, and I'm talking about, like, the immigrant experience, my father being an immigrant from Sicily. | ||
| And what I'm seeing at my shows is not only an 88-year-old grandmother, but a 12-year-old kid and kind of everybody in between. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| So it's very broad. | ||
| It's comedy, and I'm not tooting my own horn here, I'm just saying it's comedy that you could come and not cringe because the material might be a little blue or what have you. | ||
| Joey Diaz. | ||
| Imagine if you had Joey Diaz open for you at Madison Square Garden. | ||
| Let me tell you, cocksucker, this is how you eat that muffler. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, they'd be a little shocked. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| So, yeah, I mean, that's why I think I was able to do four shows at Madison Square Garden, just because my audience is a large swath of multi-generational artists. | ||
| It's multi-generational. | ||
| There's just a lot of different people at the shows. | ||
| And to do Madison Square Garden, for me, as we were talking prior to getting on here, I was saying that I think I took a little too much on my plate. | ||
| And what I mean by that is... | ||
| Coming up in comedy, I used to say yes to everything. | ||
| The phone used to ring, and it was my agent. | ||
| You want to do it? | ||
| Yeah, put me down. | ||
| I'm in. | ||
| Well, you're trying to work. | ||
| Trying to work. | ||
| And what has happened, once you get too busy, I think, you need to learn to press the brakes a little bit. | ||
| So I did a ton of press when I was in New York, and I had family there. | ||
| I had friends there. | ||
| And I think... | ||
| I spread myself a little too thin, so when the shows came, I don't feel like I was operating at an optimal level to perform. | ||
| Yeah, it was fun. | ||
| I still had a good time, but... | ||
| The more and more I do stand-up, the more and more I feel like you really got to be clear-headed in the moment and you can't overwork yourself. | ||
| It's just who I am. | ||
| I've always been a worker. | ||
| I mean, when I wasn't going to college and I had time off in the summer, I was working. | ||
| I used to work summers as a janitor during high school. | ||
| So all the time was always occupied with work. | ||
| And I feel if I'm not working, I feel like, or I'm not doing press, or I'm not doing anything. | ||
| I feel like... | ||
| You're slacking. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I feel like, because my father has always put it in my head, you know, what are you doing? | ||
| Like he'd come home and go, what'd you do today? | ||
| You know, I'm like, I don't know. | ||
| All an angry face. | ||
| Yeah, it was like, all right, you know, you're going to paint the fence this week. | ||
| So there was always something to do. | ||
| And that work ethic has bled into my career. | ||
| And now that I've had some success in my career, I think I have to kind of pull it back a little bit and not say yes to an interview that maybe, you know. | ||
| It's not going to help, but it's going to take up a lot of your time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah, no, I'm in the same boat. | ||
| And, I mean, I think sometimes even I do too many podcasts. | ||
| I think, but there's a lot of fucking people I want to talk to, so it's hard. | ||
| But I think I've definitely stopped doing interviews and all those different things for that reason. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| There's only a certain amount of time you have. | ||
| And like you, I have a family. | ||
| Like you, I exercise. | ||
| And I have a lot of hobbies, man, between archery and martial arts and reading and just watching documentaries. | ||
| Is it going to help? | ||
| I don't want to be any more famous. | ||
| We were talking about this earlier. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| I'm working. | ||
| That's all I want to do. | ||
| What I want to do now is do my best work. | ||
| That's my number one objective Whether it's stand-up, whether it's UFC commentary, whether it's doing a podcast, I want to do my best work. | ||
| And I don't think that I can do my best work if I'm scattered. | ||
| And I often am. | ||
| I think you hit the nail on the head. | ||
| Doing your best work, whatever you're doing. | ||
| So if you're going to come in here today and do a podcast... | ||
| Whatever you did prior to this cannot really take away from the energy that you need to do this. | ||
| Same thing with the MMA and then the announcing and the same thing with the stand-up comedy. | ||
| I feel that sometimes I jeopardize myself and I take on too much and I've realized that and I'm going to kind of I got another baby coming. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Family's growing. | ||
| I come home and I'm looking at my daughter. | ||
| She's 20 months. | ||
| Those moments for me are like, do I want to take my daughter out for lunch or do I want to do an interview? | ||
| In Idaho. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| I know you've got to sell tickets. | ||
| That's part of the game. | ||
| But I think I need to kind of just choose my roads a little careful. | ||
| Well, that's one of the good things about social media is that it allows you these paths to distribute flyers and you put little posters of where you're going to be and stuff like that. | ||
| And it can reach your actual fans as opposed to just... | ||
| Random person who's listening to the radio or random person who picks up the newspaper. | ||
| Well, that's what I think. | ||
| But I like to reach the person that doesn't know who I am. | ||
| It's fun to go to your fan base, but I'm sure a lot of the people that listen to your podcast maybe not know who I am. | ||
| And it's a joy for me to get someone, who is this guy, maybe check him out, and to get a new fan, opposed to maybe feeding the fan base I currently have. | ||
| I'm always looking for new people to come on board with what I'm doing. | ||
| So, you know, when I do a radio show in Peoria at 7 o'clock in the morning, I'm hoping someone's in their car going... | ||
| Check them out. | ||
| And even if it was two people that bought the ticket, for me, I would think that it was worth it getting up to get two more fans. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Sometimes, though, it hurts the end product, and the reason why I'm here is the stand-up comedy. | ||
| If that starts to slack, then everything else falls apart. | ||
| Yeah, I feel the same way and I've learned over the years what the mistakes are, like where I can screw it up. | ||
| Like podcasts, for instance, I don't do, like, I used to do like a hot yoga class at 10.30, it gets out at noon, I do a podcast at 1.00. | ||
| I don't do that anymore. | ||
| Because I found I was just too fucking worn out. | ||
| Because I do a 90 minute yoga class and I come in here and I'm still like, oh yeah, what? | ||
| What are we talking about? | ||
| Like I'm still spacey. | ||
| I need two hours. | ||
| I need two hours and I need to drink a shitload of water and then I'm good to go. | ||
| But I need that extra hour. | ||
| So now I'll do like an 8.30 class or something like that or maybe even a 6 in the morning class. | ||
| And so when I have a 1 p.m. | ||
| podcast, I'm fucking completely acclimated. | ||
| But I had to do that by trial and error. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| And that's where I'm at. | ||
| I think I'm trying to figure out what the balance is of creating a life outside of stand-up and then giving all I can to stand up. | ||
| And even I do a podcast with Pete Correale that we did a live podcast for the first time. | ||
| And I don't know if you've seen this. | ||
| The podcast listener is a different audience than what's arriving at my shows. | ||
| Two different audiences. | ||
| There's a definite podcast listener out there. | ||
| I mean, people that listen and consume podcasts. | ||
| And it crosses over, don't get me wrong. | ||
| But I went to do the podcast in Orlando and totally different vibe. | ||
| It's nice to see who the hell is listening to this stuff. | ||
| And we did it. | ||
| I don't know if you've ever done a live cast, but I'm sure you're like an anomaly. | ||
| You got fans from all different walks of life. | ||
| I mean, you're in the stand-up world. | ||
| You're in the mixed martial arts world. | ||
| You're in the podcast world. | ||
| So there must be a lot of different people coming to your shows. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of weirdos. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I would say, if you see a dude with shaved head and tattoos and he's kind of jacked, he probably knows who I am. | ||
| That guy. | ||
| It's like a lot of people that are into the science podcasts or the, you know, podcasts with... | ||
| Interesting intellectuals. | ||
| There's a lot of... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But there's people that don't like the mixed martial arts stuff, and they like me for other things. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| You can't please everybody. | ||
| No, you can't. | ||
| It's not really possible. | ||
| And then along the way, you find that out, and you piss a bunch of people off. | ||
| They're like, I don't like that part of you. | ||
| Like, okay. | ||
| I don't know what to tell you. | ||
| Yeah, you can't make everybody happy. | ||
| No. | ||
| Especially if you do a lot of shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I'm lucky with the job with the UFC that they don't really care about the other things that I do. | ||
| Because if I was working for a more sensitive organization, you know, obviously it's a fucking cage fighting promotion. | ||
| It's like, how sensitive can you get? | ||
| But with some social issues, you know, it's like if I was working for the NBA, I'd probably been fired a decade ago. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Easily. | ||
| The MMA is definitely a, or the UFC is definitely an animal in itself. | ||
| How did you get into that position? | ||
| Did you know Dana White and you started... | ||
| For you, I always wanted to ask you this at the Comedy Store. | ||
| How did you become kind of the voice of the UFC? Well, I started in 1997. I was the post-fight interviewer. | ||
| It was just a position that was available, and the UFC was very small back then. | ||
| Very few people knew what it was. | ||
| It was off a cable. | ||
| You couldn't get it on cable. | ||
| You could only get it on satellite. | ||
| And they needed someone to do post-fight interviews. | ||
| But you were in that world to begin with? | ||
| I was in the martial arts world. | ||
| I used to teach martial arts for a living. | ||
| Before I became a comedian, I used to fight. | ||
| Fought in a lot of taekwondo tournaments and had some kickboxing fights and I'd always been a martial artist since I was a kid. | ||
| And so I just was interested in watching the UFC and then I started training in jiu-jitsu and when I was training in jiu-jitsu I was just a white belt. | ||
| I was just starting out. | ||
| That's when I got hired by the UFC to be a post-fight interviewer. | ||
| But I only did that for two years and then I quit. | ||
| It was just too much and it was actually like it was... | ||
| I was losing money. | ||
| I would make more money doing a weekend at a comedy club than I would doing the UFC. And it just got to a point where it was too much of a pain in the ass. | ||
| And so I still remained a fan but I backed away. | ||
| And then the UFC was purchased by this company called Zufa in 2001. And when that happened, they started putting on shows in Vegas. | ||
| And I would go there with my friends. | ||
| They got me free tickets. | ||
| They reached out. | ||
| And they would try to get celebrities to go sit there. | ||
| Because they were very small at the time. | ||
| And they were hemorrhaging money. | ||
| And they were trying to build it up. | ||
| Dana White one day you know I was talking to him about fights going on Japan I'm like have you ever seen Sato fight do you know what what do you do you know Sakura do you know this guy and I was bringing all these names and he was like do you want to do commentary I'm like I don't want to do commentary man I'm here to get drunk and watch people kick the shit out of each other I'm not here to work and he talked me into it for one show a UFC 37 and a half and | ||
| It was a show that was on one of those Fox sports networks, smaller networks. | ||
| And I think it was the best damn sports show, period, was a part of it. | ||
| I did that, and the rest is history. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And then I did like 12 of them for free. | ||
| The UFC didn't have any money. | ||
| Well, they were hemorrhaging money. | ||
| There were rich people that owned it, but it was not a profitable venture. | ||
| And I said, look, just get me there, get me my friend's tickets, and I'll do it. | ||
| And so that's how I operated for like over a year. | ||
| And then I just became the commentator. | ||
| It's just weird. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| It's just Dana White. | ||
| He's a crazy man. | ||
| And he's got a weird way of looking at things that's very effective. | ||
| And in his crazy mind, he's like, let's take this guy who's never even thought about being a commentator and make him our commentator. | ||
| I mean, I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. | ||
| I mean, I really didn't have any training at all in sports commentary. | ||
| I just would see what was happening and start talking about it. | ||
| Which is really like the wrong... | ||
| I was more even play-by-play and color. | ||
| It was like doing both of them at the same time. | ||
| It was really weird. | ||
| And as far as you doing that, do you get any notes from anybody going, hey, Joe, try this, try that? | ||
| Or you just develop that voice all on your own? | ||
| 100% on my own. | ||
| The only thing that I had was, there's like Mark Della Grotte, who's a good friend of mine. | ||
| He's one of the top trainers in the world. | ||
| He's in the truck. | ||
| And I can communicate with him. | ||
| There's a button where I can communicate with him and we talk about stuff. | ||
| I can say, does he look like he's limping to you? | ||
| And he's like, yeah, there's something wrong with his leg. | ||
| I go, the left leg, right? | ||
| He's like, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And then I'll start talking about it. | ||
| I'll be able to bounce it back and forth with him. | ||
| Or sometimes it's obvious and I'll say it myself and I'll ask him, am I wrong? | ||
| Is he dropping his hand? | ||
| It's a nice thing to have someone to bounce things off. | ||
| It used to be Eddie Bravo. | ||
| Eddie Bravo used to do it as well, where I would... | ||
| We'd be able to talk to him about certain positions, because he would be in the truck, and I'd be able to ask him, like, his left leg's in jeopardy right now, right? | ||
| Or he needs to step over with his right leg. | ||
| We'd be able to go over, because, like, there's some aspects of martial arts that are extremely technical, especially jujitsu, when things go to the ground. | ||
| And you're trying to do commentary, and I have to decipher which is his left leg, which is his right leg, where is he tied up, where is he tangled, and I'm doing it in real time while I'm trying to be entertaining and talking. | ||
| It's very complicated. | ||
| But nobody taught me how to do it. | ||
| I just figured out how to do it. | ||
| And you're not looking at a Jim Lampley or anybody in the broadcasting world when it comes to fights? | ||
| This is something that you developed on your own. | ||
| Sometimes you look, as a comedian, you look at other comedians, say the Friars or the Carlins or whatnot. | ||
| You didn't have a mentor? | ||
| No, not necessarily because there wasn't a lot of guys that did it For martial arts commentary, there was John Peretti, who was excellent. | ||
| He was one of the very best, who was actually the UFC matchmaker and a commentator when I first started. | ||
| He was very good. | ||
| There's a guy named Jeff Armstrong. | ||
| He was very good, too. | ||
| He was there when I first started, too. | ||
| He actually ran a promotion called Hook and Shoot. | ||
| He's excellent. | ||
| He really knows what he's doing. | ||
| And then there's a few other guys that also did it, but... | ||
| There's like, what I do as far as like doing commentary for MMA, there's maybe 10 guys in the world that do it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, that really do it on a high level. | ||
| Maybe 10 guys. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I mean, between 1FC, between, you know, Brave, and then the UFC, Bellator, PFL, there's maybe 10 guys on the planet that are doing it. | ||
| Just not a lot of people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| And there's a lot in the UFC now where fighters are now transitioning to become commentators, and oftentimes they're the best at it. | ||
| Like Michael Bisping just did this past weekend. | ||
| He was the UFC middleweight champion, and he's awesome at it already. | ||
| Did one show. | ||
| They know more, obviously, because they've been in there. | ||
| They have that added element of actually having fought in the UFC, which is gigantic. | ||
| Yeah, I could see. | ||
| I think Paul Malignaggi, he seems to be very, very knowledgeable. | ||
| Fantastic. | ||
| He's very good. | ||
| He's very good. | ||
| Very technical, but also very aware. | ||
| And fighters can see things that maybe the average person can't see. | ||
| Like they see when someone's slowing down. | ||
| They see when someone's laying back. | ||
| They see when someone got hurt to the body. | ||
| They see little things that maybe a person who's never fought before doesn't see. | ||
| Yeah, the knowledge is key, and plus the excitement level, too. | ||
| When someone gets hit for the announcer to react to that in a real way, for an audience member, it's exciting. | ||
| No, that's what's up. | ||
| If someone's boring and bland, and they don't really care what's going on, the audience feels it. | ||
| And they feel it when you're faking it, too. | ||
| If you try to pump it up and fake it. | ||
| Do you have any other hobbies outside of comedy? | ||
| I'm not a big hobby guy. | ||
| Growing up, my parents always used to say, what are you interested in? | ||
| Do you do anything? | ||
| Well, they've got to be happy now, right? | ||
| They're like, holy shit, look, it worked out. | ||
| My hobby is stand-up comedy, really. | ||
| I mean, I like to cook, don't get me wrong. | ||
| I like to travel. | ||
| My wife and I really, really enjoy going to different places, and I love hotels. | ||
| I mean, these aren't really hobbies. | ||
| It's just I like hospitality. | ||
| So that's my passion. | ||
| I like having people over at the house and making them feel good. | ||
| That's what I like to do. | ||
| I like to entertain. | ||
| If I find out you like a specific drink or you like something that's, you know, I take notice of what people like. | ||
| So when you come to my house, I got what you like there. | ||
| That's very Italian. | ||
| It's very, very Italian. | ||
| And I've always had, you know, I work for the Four Seasons Hotel, and that chain taught me to anticipate people's needs. | ||
| So anytime I have anything at my house, whether it be a birthday party, a get-together, if it's going to be a fight, I make sure when you come over, you are taken care of not only with your alcohol needs. | ||
| Here's one. | ||
| I ain't a pot guy, right? | ||
| I don't smoke pot. | ||
| You want to start? | ||
| Listen. | ||
| But I got pot at the house just in case you want some. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| So I thought, you know, you have alcohol, you have beer, you have scotch, you have wine. | ||
| So what if someone doesn't have a taste for alcohol and they want a joint? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I got a couple of joints. | ||
| What did you get it from? | ||
| PDC from the Comedy Store? | ||
| I think I got it from... | ||
| Gino from L.A. Speedweed? | ||
| No, I think it's... | ||
| What's the... | ||
| Medmen? | ||
| Yeah, Medmen. | ||
| Yeah, I went in there. | ||
| You went in there specifically just for hospitality. | ||
| Hospitality! | ||
| I mean, come on. | ||
| You came over, and I go, Joe, you want a joint? | ||
| And you're like, yeah, you want to smoke it? | ||
| No, I don't smoke, but, you know, there. | ||
| Have at it. | ||
| Just to have. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Even a cigar. | ||
| I got a cigar. | ||
| I don't smoke cigars. | ||
| You want one? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I get joy in making others happy. | ||
| So when you looked at your house, did you look at your house and go, this is a good house to entertain in? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Ah, yeah. | ||
| Because I always see that when you see a YouTube video on a home and they're showing the home. | ||
| A wonderful entertainer's home. | ||
| An entertainer's home. | ||
| That's what I do. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| A singer? | ||
| Fuck that man. | ||
| A guy's playing the piano? | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| I like a living room that bleeds into the kitchen. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| There's not really a wall in between the two. | ||
| It's got to be... | ||
| And then I like indoor-outdoor. | ||
| You live in California. | ||
| I like the ability to go outside. | ||
| Maybe you want to have a drink outside and bring it back in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I just like the different... | ||
| That's what they're talking about when it's an entertainment... | ||
| I like a fire outside. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| A little fire pit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Fire pit. | ||
| Do you try to bring people, like if you have a party, do you try to bring people over that you think would have interesting conversations? | ||
| Yes, although we have a problem at this particular point. | ||
| We're in a transition period. | ||
| We have a child, so I don't know if you went through this, but a lot of, sometimes when you're coming from a single couple, but a couple with no kids, and now you have kids, now you're finding other people who have kids, right? | ||
| So that's where we're in. | ||
| We're not yet into the preschool. | ||
| So we're kind of in limbo. | ||
| We're looking for new friends. | ||
| Not that our old friends are bad. | ||
| It's just now we have other obligations. | ||
| We have a child. | ||
| We maybe can't go out to dinner at 8 o'clock at night like we used to. | ||
| Now we're looking to bring it to the house. | ||
| Yeah, no, I know exactly what you're saying. | ||
| We went through that exact same transition. | ||
| And a lot of times you pick up some dead weight along the way. | ||
| Running these people, and the only thing they have in common is the kids of the same age, and then you have to talk to some fucking guy. | ||
| Oh, and they give you ear beatings about their job. | ||
| Some people are just not interesting. | ||
| It's unfortunate. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, you do run into that, where you meet a guy, like I went to a toddler group last week. | ||
| Now, sometimes I do this, obviously, because I want to hang out with my daughter, but sometimes the material that comes out of going to something like that Is gold. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Now it's me, 15 women, and a gay guy at this toddler group, right? | ||
| So, I mean, it's just like, it's almost writing, it like writes itself. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Although I'm in a circle, sitting Indian style, hell, I mean, it's strange, but man, it's... | ||
| That's the things I want to do because I feel if I live more of my life, I could draw so much more humor from it. | ||
| It's two-pronged. | ||
| I want to hang out with my family and I want to talk to people who are living these life experiences because what I've noticed is I want to keep the same kind of lifestyle I've had when I wasn't successful. | ||
| Because I feel when you start detaching yourself from the daily routine, let's say even going to Target, if you have somebody go to Target for you, you miss out on what happens on a day-to-day, and I want to still keep that rich and available to me. | ||
| That's very wise of you. | ||
| That's very true. | ||
| That is something that happens when people become more and more famous, especially. | ||
| They become more reluctant to go places. | ||
| They don't want to just go to the mall. | ||
| Sometimes you just got to go to the mall. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| It's good to be around weirdos. | ||
| It's good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is. | |
| Well, I think it was you saying that if you were out at a restaurant and somebody comes up to you and asks for a picture, because everybody wants a picture nowadays to prove they met Joe Rogan and what have you. | ||
| And sometimes it's a little intrusive when you're having dinner with your daughters or your family. | ||
| I've had people ask me for pictures while my daughter's on my lap and I'm feeding her. | ||
| Yeah, I had that too. | ||
| I'm like, look, man, you gotta get the fuck out of here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The problem is you take that picture with that guy and then someone says, oh, I want a picture too. | ||
| And then you get 10 people to get up. | ||
| That sounds braggy, but it's not. | ||
| It's just a weird thing that happens with people with phones. | ||
| Half those people don't even give a fuck about you. | ||
| They really just want to take a picture with someone that they saw on Fear Factor or whatever. | ||
| And they just, oh, there he is. | ||
| Let me take a picture with him. | ||
| And they come over to your table. | ||
| And they seem to think that it's part of the job. | ||
| That every time you're in public, you have to be available to them. | ||
| It's a very weird rule that people have decided. | ||
| Some fairly ignorant people have decided. | ||
| So that's why they would think that even with my daughter on my lap, and I'm literally, I was literally putting food into her mouth, and a guy was like, hey man, can I get a picture? | ||
| This is not a good time. | ||
| This is not a smart thing to ask. | ||
| And it's why certain people are reluctant to go out in the first place. | ||
| Why they're reluctant to go out in public. | ||
| But do you feel an obligation at all to your fan base to make yourself available to them if... | ||
| If I'm not with my kids, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, so do you generally turn down any photos or autographs? | ||
| It has to be an extenuating circumstance for me to say no. | ||
| There has to be something wrong. | ||
| Like if someone, you know, if someone is somewhere where they're not supposed to be, you know, like I had a guy come backstage at the comedy store, made it backstage all the way to the back, and he's talking, and I'm like, I was asking the other comments, do you know this guy? | ||
| Do you know this guy? | ||
| Who is this guy? | ||
| I go, who are you, man? | ||
| And he's like, oh, I'm friends with this guy. | ||
| I go, so you just walked back here? | ||
| I'm like, you gotta get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Like, get out of here, man. | ||
| And then the security comes and kicks the guy out. | ||
| I'm like, what is happening here? | ||
| Like, there's no security here? | ||
| Like, that guy didn't ask for a photo, but if he did, I'd probably take a picture with that motherfucker, but I'd probably take a picture with him out there. | ||
| You know, it's... | ||
| If you're in a rush, if you're trying to go somewhere and you're literally running and someone wants to pull their phone out, sometimes you can't. | ||
| But most of the time. | ||
| If I'm by myself, I'm very approachable. | ||
| It's just family stuff. | ||
| It's just like my kids don't like it. | ||
| Especially my youngest daughter. | ||
| She does not like it. | ||
| She gets angry. | ||
| She squeezes my hand. | ||
| Because people ignore her and they just start talking to me and she's just standing there. | ||
| And eight-year-olds have zero patience. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| She's sitting there going, boring! | ||
| She doesn't give a fuck if they know me. | ||
| To her, I'm just dad. | ||
| It doesn't matter if I'm famous. | ||
| It doesn't mean anything to her. | ||
| What it means to her is when she's with me, she likes attention. | ||
| She wants me to talk to her about stuff. | ||
| We have a nice little relationship. | ||
| I love having little people. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| It's for people that are single... | ||
| And I think it all depends on where you are in life and how reflective you are about it. | ||
| For people that are single, they look at it, and I know I did, they look at it as a potential burden. | ||
| Because when I was a kid, I thought of myself as a burden. | ||
| So I think of other children as a burden. | ||
| But then you have them yourself and the love that you have for them is indescribable. | ||
| It's this crazy feeling that you didn't even know was in the menu before. | ||
| And then all of a sudden you have this crazy feeling to this little person. | ||
| It's your favorite thing to do. | ||
| Yeah, it is amazing. | ||
| And to echo those thoughts, I wasn't a big kid guy. | ||
| I was like, I don't really need kids. | ||
| But then you have them, and you're like, man, what a missing this would be if you go through life and you don't have a child. | ||
| And I'm not saying you need to have a child to be complete, but for me, man, it's been fantastic. | ||
| And having a baby boy now coming on the way is... | ||
| It's great. | ||
| I mean, it's not a burden. | ||
| It just adds to your life. | ||
| Yeah, it's responsibility. | ||
| It's overwhelming responsibility. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it's not about you. | ||
| It's about them. | ||
| And, you know, you have to have a sense of, I don't know, you got to give them the time they need in order for them to succeed in life. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My parents gave me a lot of attention. | ||
| My dad was the type of guy that was not really around because he was working, and my mom was kind of managing the house. | ||
| But over the course of time, my father and I have become best friends. | ||
| He's a huge critic of what I do for a living. | ||
| I don't know if you have parents that are heavily involved in your career, but man, my father... | ||
| He's taking notes at the show. | ||
| So he's one of these guys. | ||
| He'll tell me if I suck. | ||
| I mean, it's good. | ||
| It keeps me level-headed. | ||
| I have a family that is very, very honest, and they don't pull any punches. | ||
| You know, people confuse that with being cruel. | ||
| What, honesty? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Listen, my father and my relationship with my father has been, and I had to tell him, I said, Dad, could you come to just be a fan and not like a father? | ||
| Just enjoy the show. | ||
| You don't have to critique it, which he has backed off, but I know deep down he's dying to tell me something. | ||
| Dying. | ||
| I mean, I know when I do something on TV, and if he don't, like, say nothing about it, he don't like it. | ||
| You know, let's say if he listened to this interview, and then we talk, and he doesn't bring it up, I know he's going to say, you sucked. | ||
| It's no good. | ||
| Boring. | ||
| Boring. | ||
| Why do people want to listen to you? | ||
| You know, like, yeah, he'll... | ||
| He'll give it to me. | ||
| But that's also why you're so funny, because you grew up with that. | ||
| That's part of the whole program. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| I mean, I think that's a huge reason why I am the way I am, because I'm kind of honest when I'm talking about comedy on stage. | ||
| The honesty is, to me, the funniest stuff I got is the truth. | ||
| And if you don't speak the truth, then I don't think it's particularly funny, at least in my life. | ||
| But yeah, to come from that... | ||
| Yeah, it's my sister, my... | ||
| My wife. | ||
| You know, they'll tell me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, my wife will tell me, too. | ||
| My wife's fucking funny. | ||
| She's hilarious. | ||
| She says ridiculous shit all the time. | ||
| And she's getting good at it. | ||
| Like, she likes to make me laugh. | ||
| So, like, she'll point at something. | ||
| She'll, look at this motherfucker. | ||
| And, like, then we'll both start cracking up. | ||
| That's huge, too. | ||
| And she'll tell me, like, you seemed a little off tonight. | ||
| I'm like, eh. | ||
| Yeah, it's new shits. | ||
| Especially when I have new material, man. | ||
| It's slippery. | ||
| You know, new material's like, I can't cry. | ||
| Trying to grab a hold of it. | ||
| I know something's there, but... | ||
| And the only thing that makes it better is trial and error. | ||
| That's the only thing that makes it better. | ||
| It's the only thing. | ||
| Just fucking constantly doing sets, you know? | ||
| I know you're at the store all the time. | ||
| Are you working other clubs as well around town? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I just like the story. | ||
| Motherland. | ||
| Just that stage in the original room, for whatever reason, I feel the most comfortable and the most creative. | ||
| I'm not saying I won't do the ice house or stuff like that, but it's easy. | ||
| It's kind of near where I live. | ||
| I bounce in. | ||
| I bounce out, and I like doing it there. | ||
| And I used to bring my wife there when we didn't have a baby. | ||
| And my wife, I think, and I don't know if your wife has... | ||
| Do you think your humor has bled into your wife's... | ||
| Because my wife's looking at the world completely different. | ||
| Like a comic. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| Yeah, my wife's like a comic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, she thinks like a comic. | |
| It's natural. | ||
| If you run comics all the time, you think like comics. | ||
| Like when comics come over the house, she's always fucking with them. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| She'll start poking fun in them, and she gets a kick out of it. | ||
| And when she's with her friends, she's absolutely the one who's always talking shit and making people laugh. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's the most fun movie. | ||
| Group of people to be around. | ||
| When we're all at the store, when we all see each other, I mean, that's one of the things that makes me feel so fortunate is that I have so many friends that are hilarious. | ||
| Like, when I go there, I see these guys and I know that we're gonna have some fun. | ||
| We're gonna do sets, but we're also gonna hang out in that back bar and talk shit and laugh a lot. | ||
| It's a great, friendly environment, you know? | ||
| And I like to laugh. | ||
| I love to laugh. | ||
| So when I go to the comedy store, I don't really... | ||
| If I'm around comedians, I don't say much. | ||
| Because I'd rather sit back and enjoy what's happening in front of me than actually be a part of it. | ||
| Because for me, I make people laugh all the time. | ||
| And to be around five or six comedians in the parking lot of the comedy store and watch whatever... | ||
| You go off on a tangent or Callan start doing his thing, I just sit back and enjoy it. | ||
| I don't like to speak around. | ||
| I like to go, when I'm in the main room, I like to go into the OR and sit in the back and watch the show sometimes too. | ||
| When I know I'm not going up at all that night in that room, I like to be an audience member. | ||
| I still really enjoy that. | ||
| I still really enjoy just sitting in the back with a drink and just laughing. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| It's a great thing to be a part of. | ||
| You know who's fucking murdering it these days? | ||
| Neil Brennan. | ||
| Neil Brennan's on fire right now. | ||
| He's on fire. | ||
| He's doing really, really well. | ||
| I think that's special on Netflix. | ||
| The three mics has really opened himself up to performing in front of large audiences. | ||
| And he's always been a real funny cat. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Always been real funny, but he's in a new zone right now. | ||
| I was watching him the other night in the OR. I was sitting in the back. | ||
| I'm like, God damn, this new stuff is good. | ||
| It's such a great hot spot. | ||
| There's so much good comedy going on in that place, whether it's Santino. | ||
| Santino's been murdering lately. | ||
| Hinchcliffe's been killing it. | ||
| There's just so many good comics there. | ||
| You feel like it's fuel. | ||
| It's inspirational. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You walk in and see some guy going up and You're like, man, that's some funny stuff. | ||
| And you feel inspired to go and go, yeah, I'm going to write something new or what have you. | ||
| It's nice. | ||
| It's a nice community to be a part of, that comedy store. | ||
| It's really helped me over the last 20 years. | ||
| Yeah, it's very unique, you know. | ||
| And I showed you that painting that Taylor made that I posted up on Instagram. | ||
| That's the painting of Mitzi. | ||
| I think I'm going to put that motherfucker right there. | ||
| That's nice. | ||
| Have Mitzi watch over us. | ||
| Yeah, this whole thing you got going on here, and I don't know if you talk about it much, I don't know if you're private about it, but even being here in this studio is inspiring. | ||
| When you were showing me what you have and whatnot, I'm like, man... | ||
| See, I've always looked at people who have things or whether it be if you have a nice home or a nice car or whatever it is, a nice family. | ||
| I always inspire to do that. | ||
| I don't begrudge anybody that has a lot. | ||
| I've always looked at it as I want to be. | ||
| Where that person is, opposed to, you know, being bitter. | ||
| Yeah, that's very healthy. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, man, just having a treadmill, whatever it is, the treadmill you showed me, man, I want to get something like that. | ||
| I mean, I just always looked, I want to be around people who, you know, are inspiring. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, that's one of the best things about this podcast. | ||
| I get a chance to talk to really interesting people in all walks of life. | ||
| And, you know, it's weird. | ||
| All the worlds mixed together. | ||
| But all those interesting, inspirational people, it's definitely made me more aware and smarter. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Made me more aware of things. | ||
| Made me reconsider my positions on things. | ||
| Made me, like we're talking about David Goggins. | ||
| I mean, I just think about that guy and I want to work out harder. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I do. | ||
| There's a part in the book I think he went to support his mother or sister in a race in Las Vegas and then I think he just took off and left. | ||
| He was there for them. | ||
| Isn't there a part where he was in dress shoes and he just started running? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's him, man. | ||
| He's a fucking savage. | ||
| And what's great about him, one of my favorite parts about David Goggins is that he's real honest about who he used to be. | ||
| That he was like 300 pounds and fat and lazy and he's drinking milkshakes and he just was depressed and couldn't get his shit together and then he hardened himself up through some strange force of will and became that guy. | ||
| Decided he wanted to become that guy who was, as he puts it, uncommon amongst uncommon men. | ||
| You know, that he just decided, I'm going to be the motherfucker of motherfuckers. | ||
| And then he's so much like that when people around him are like, oh, Jesus. | ||
| Because he's so fucking intense. | ||
| It's like, you've got to ramp it up, too. | ||
| Like, I'm not ready for Goggins right now. | ||
| I was going to do 20 sit-ups and 20 chin-ups and 20 push-ups, and I was going to go home. | ||
| This motherfucker wants to run till we die. | ||
| You know, but that's, those people, I don't know how many people Goggins has inspired that listen to this podcast and all of a sudden they're out there hustling. | ||
| And they're out there doing things on a level that they never did before. | ||
| And they're putting in that work and exerting themselves in that way. | ||
| And he rubs some people the wrong way because of that, because he's so aggressive and intense. | ||
| Some people are just reluctant to be inspired by a guy like that. | ||
| They're almost like it's too much. | ||
| Well, he's been there. | ||
| He's been in the basement of life. | ||
| I mean, 300 pounds didn't really come from... | ||
| The father was... | ||
| And he willed himself out of it. | ||
| So, I mean, if he could do it, you know, why can't I run another mile and a half? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a video that I listened to from my friend Jocko. | ||
| Jocko Willink, who's a Navy SEAL commander, and he's got this video. | ||
| And it just says, it's just, it's, it's, I think it's called Good. | ||
| Because it's how he looks at everything. | ||
| Oh, you hurt your ankle. | ||
| Good. | ||
| More time to work on other things. | ||
| You didn't get to promotion. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good. | |
| Good. | ||
| Everything's good. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| Good. | ||
| That's how he looks at things. | ||
| And I've been running hills, halfway fucking dead, exhausted, can't breathe. | ||
| Like, oh, your lungs are on fire? | ||
| Good. | ||
| You got an opportunity to get in better shape. | ||
| Good. | ||
| Keep pushing. | ||
| This is what it's all about. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good. | |
| This is an opportunity to face the intensity of this moment. | ||
| You gotta play that. | ||
| Play that video. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Play that video. | |
| Just to freak Sebastian out. | ||
| Because this is something I listen to this every three or four months. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He would call me up or pull me aside with some major problem, some issue that was going on. | |
| And he'd say, boss, we got this and that and the other thing. | ||
| And I'd look at him and I'd say, good. | ||
| And finally one day he was telling me about some issue that he was having, some problem. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he said, I already know what you're going to say. | |
| I said, well, what am I gonna say? | ||
| He said, you're gonna say good. | ||
| He said, that's what you always say. | ||
| When something is wrong and going bad, you always just look at me and say good. | ||
| And I said, well, yeah. | ||
| When things are going bad, there's gonna be some good that's gonna come from it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Didn't get the new high-speed gear we wanted? | |
| Good. | ||
| Didn't get promoted? | ||
| Good. | ||
| More time to get better. | ||
| Oh, mission got cancelled? | ||
| Good. | ||
| We can focus on another one. | ||
| Didn't get funded. | ||
| Didn't get the job you wanted. | ||
| Got injured. | ||
| Sprained my ankle. | ||
| Got tapped out? | ||
| Good. | ||
| Got beat? | ||
| Good. | ||
| You learned. | ||
| Unexpected problems? | ||
| Good. | ||
| We have the opportunity to figure out a solution. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| When things are going bad, don't get all bummed out, don't get startled, don't get frustrated. | ||
| If you can say the word good, guess what? | ||
| It means you're still alive. | ||
| It means you're still breathing. | ||
| And if you're still breathing, well now, you still got some fight left in you. | ||
| So get up, dust off, reload, recalibrate, re-engage, and go out on the attack. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Don't you want to just go run through a fucking wall right now? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey. | |
| Joe. | ||
| Good. | ||
| I think of that all the time. | ||
| That's a legit thing that bounces around in my head when I'm tired, when something's wrong in my life. | ||
| I think, good, good. | ||
| Don't be a bitch. | ||
| Look at this the right way. | ||
| Look at this the right way. | ||
| Things are going to go wrong. | ||
| They always do. | ||
| If they don't, you're not trying anything unusual. | ||
| You're not doing anything difficult. | ||
| You're not stretching yourself out. | ||
| Yeah, I like looking at videos like that and being introduced to guys like that. | ||
| I mean, that's how I got introduced to Goggins. | ||
| Someone played a video of him. | ||
| There's Dr. Eric Thomas. | ||
| He's a motivational speaker who I love listening to. | ||
| I like listening to people who get me motivated. | ||
| I need that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Jocko's got a great podcast, too. | ||
| That guy's a Navy SEAL? Yeah, he's a motherfucker. | ||
| He's a very interesting cat, extremely intelligent, but just as manly as they come, you know, and just fucking owns it. | ||
| And, you know, you see that guy talk. | ||
| One of the reasons why that's so inspirational is because that's really him. | ||
| You go to his Instagram every day, there's a photograph of his watch at 4.30 in the morning, because that's when he gets up to train. | ||
| He trains by himself, and then he'll take a photo of the puddle that's on the ground after he's done, and then he earns the sunrise. | ||
| So he gets up and he goes to the fucking beach and he sees the sun come up after he's done training. | ||
| He's a savage. | ||
| That's a real savage. | ||
| There's these guys that get up at 4, 4.30 in the morning, and I'm like, what happened to taking a nap? | ||
| Well, he'll take a nap later. | ||
| But the point is, he makes himself, like, there's nothing wrong with taking a nap. | ||
| No, I know, but this is dedication. | ||
| Look at his whole fucking Instagram. | ||
| There's pictures of his watch. | ||
| He's a fucking animal. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| But he's really doing it, too. | ||
| He's a Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt, like a very high-level black belt. | ||
| He's tapped some world-class competitors. | ||
| And a fucking great guy, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cool. | |
| I'll definitely check that out. | ||
| He was a guest on Tim Ferriss' podcast. | ||
| That's how I heard about him. | ||
| Then I had him on mine, and me and Tim both convinced him to do his own podcast. | ||
| Now it's hugely popular. | ||
| He's got a great book out. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Extreme Ownership. | ||
| Yeah, he's fantastic. | ||
| I'll definitely look at them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People like that are so important because they give you just that little push. | ||
| They change the frequency of your brain and get you fired up. | ||
| You can accomplish a lot of things because of people like that. | ||
| There's extra gears to be had, extra horsepower to be put to things. | ||
| Totally. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good. | |
| So, now that you've done, you know, four sold-out shows in Madison Square Garden, I mean, this is the fucking pinnacle of any stand-up comics career. | ||
| There's only a handful of comics that have ever been able to do that. | ||
| There's like Dice, Louis C.K., there's a few others. | ||
| I mean, you're in a rare place. | ||
| Do you have other goals, or are you just working on maintaining and continuing to put on good shows for your fans? | ||
| That's been the goal. | ||
| I'm not a goal guy. | ||
| I don't say, hey, this is my goals this year. | ||
| I never planned on doing Madison Square Garden. | ||
| My only goal when I got into this business was to do it for a living. | ||
| I want to do stand-up comedy for a living. | ||
| And now wherever it takes me, it takes me. | ||
| It took me to the garden. | ||
| I'm not looking at my vision board and going, doing the Vatican next. | ||
| You don't believe in the secret? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Wherever this takes me, it takes me. | ||
| To do the Madison Square Garden was fabulous. | ||
| It was a great experience. | ||
| Nothing quite like the rush of going out in front of 18,000 people in the round and having your family witness it. | ||
| My mother, when she walked into the arena, started crying. | ||
| She was there when I was doing it. | ||
| Can you imagine being her? | ||
| You gave birth to this little tiny baby. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And this little tiny baby got four sold-out shows at Madison Square Garden. | ||
| It hit her. | ||
| It hit her hard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| It must have hit you, too, to see it hit her. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Listen, I'm an emotional guy. | ||
| So to see my... | ||
| I brought my little baby and Lana on stage for a photo at the end of it. | ||
| I brought my father on stage. | ||
| I brought my mother and my sister on stage to share in that moment. | ||
| So yeah, when my mother walked in an empty arena and saw it, she had flashbacks to in 1998 when I did Zanies and we Had to get friends and family there to fill the audience. | ||
| And then now she walks in and her son's doing four of these. | ||
| It was great. | ||
| I'm so glad my parents were alive to see that. | ||
| It would have been a shame if they weren't there. | ||
| Because they've been on this journey. | ||
| From the beginning. | ||
| These are parents who, when I told them in 1996 that I was going to go out to Los Angeles to pursue a stand-up career, didn't look at me and go, what are you nuts? | ||
| They looked at me and go, hey, you know what? | ||
| If you think you got what it takes, get the hell out there. | ||
| Don't put yourself a time limit. | ||
| Some people say, eh, if I don't do it in five years, I'm going to quit or whatever. | ||
| So when I came out here, it was all in. | ||
| If I said five years, I wouldn't have been here. | ||
| I would have been back in Chicago working at Motorola. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| So family's always been really, really key to my success. | ||
| Having people who are very supportive. | ||
| And my wife, who's a huge, huge reason I am doing what I'm doing. | ||
| I mean, you know, to have a wife to deal with the life of a comedian on the road... | ||
| Away from home a lot and you got to have like a strong strong woman to be in your corner and to put up with that also just to deal with the weirdo a Fucking comics a weird person. | ||
| Yeah, I mean just to just the mentality of a comedian is tough to be around not tough It's just you know, we're always we're always you know in our own head sometime. | ||
| So yeah, so To answer your question, where do I go from here? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm enjoying doing some movies. | ||
| I just started dipping my toe into some of these movies. | ||
| Green Book, which is out now and nominated for some awards for the Oscars. | ||
| Happy to be a part of that. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| Exercising a different muscle when it comes to acting, but not comedic acting. | ||
| I like the dramas. | ||
| How come? | ||
| I'm a serious guy, generally speaking. | ||
| I'm not a goofball. | ||
| I'm not the guy, always the center of attention. | ||
| That's just not who I am. | ||
| So I like kind of being serious and acting. | ||
| Acting in a drama kind of plays to kind of who I am. | ||
| It's kind of a serious guy. | ||
| And I like it. | ||
| I get my fix from doing the stand-up on stage. | ||
| I don't need to do it in a movie. | ||
| So I like the challenge, number one. | ||
| And number two, I just like to do different things, a little bit outside the box. | ||
| So I like doing this gangster movie coming out with Scorsese. | ||
| No shit! | ||
| What is that? | ||
| It's called... | ||
| You got to work with Scorsese? | ||
| Yeah, so it's called The Irishman. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit. | |
| The Irishman. | ||
| What is it about? | ||
| It's about basically Jimmy Hoffa and how they killed him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, wow. | |
| This guy, De Niro, plays the Irishman. | ||
| Jimmy Hoffa's played by Pacino. | ||
| Pesci's in the movie. | ||
| And I play Crazy Joe Gallo. | ||
| And my first day on the set was with De Niro and Pesci. | ||
| What? | ||
| What the fuck was that like? | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| I was shitting. | ||
| Who is that on the left? | ||
| Pacino. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow! | |
| That's incredible. | ||
| I mean, maybe it's just that photograph, but that barely looks like him. | ||
| I know. | ||
| This is coming out on Netflix. | ||
| That's crazy how different he looks. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| That's a Netflix movie, huh? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fucking Netflix, huh? | ||
| Yeah, it's like a $145 million project. | ||
| Jesus! | ||
| It's coming out in October. | ||
| Dude, what is it like to just be around Scorsese on a movie set and realize you're a fucking actor in a Scorsese movie? | ||
| That's got to be, I mean, that is about as high level as, it's like either Francis Ford Coppola, Scorsese, there's like a few people that, if you're on a set with them, you know, Kubrick when he was alive, it's like, holy shit! | ||
| That was a holy shit moment for me. | ||
| Listen, I am, by no stretch of the imagination, a seasoned actor. | ||
| And then to get thrown into this group of people and working with them, I mean, I got to tell you, there was a sense of doubt. | ||
| Sometimes, should I be here? | ||
| Is this happening? | ||
| And then to do the scene with De Niro and Pesci, It was almost like after the first scene, I'm like, oh, yeah, I should be here. | ||
| It's all the anticipation leading up to the moment that is unfamiliar to you. | ||
| Then once you do it, you feel like, man, that was all in my head. | ||
| And I made it sound like it was going to be... | ||
| Because I was thinking the negative, too. | ||
| I always think, oh, I'm going to screw this up. | ||
| That's what motivates me. | ||
| I never look in the positive. | ||
| I always come from a negative place. | ||
| But once I did that first scene with them... | ||
| And these guys were more than helpful working with them. | ||
| Scorsese, when he came out, it was friendly, nice. | ||
| It was encouraging to be around that kind of positive energy. | ||
| Did you have a hard time sleeping the night before? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I didn't sleep, I don't think, for the first week leading up to the scene because I knew it was going to be with De Niro and Pesci. | ||
| What they did was they took Gotham Comedy Club in New York City and they made it the Copacabana, which I thought was fitting because Gotham Comedy Club is kind of where I did all my stand-up in New York. | ||
| I didn't really do any other club but Gotham. | ||
| It's a great club. | ||
| Great club. | ||
| Mazzilli Brothers who run it are fantastic guys. | ||
| And they transformed the Gotham Comedy Club into the Copacabana. | ||
| And Don Rickles is played by Jim Norton. | ||
| No shit! | ||
| So I'm watching him on stage with... | ||
| It's just crazy. | ||
| Norton's a perfect Rickles. | ||
| I'm just thinking about that. | ||
| He's perfect for that. | ||
| He really did a fantastic job. | ||
| Really, really did a great job. | ||
| I mean, even his smile is almost like Rickles-esque. | ||
| Yeah, they gave him... | ||
| Look at him! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| Oh, that's fantastic. | ||
| Great casting. | ||
| Great casting. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I mean, come on. | ||
| Who the fuck else would be better? | ||
| You gotta get them fat. | ||
| Did they fatten them up? | ||
| Yeah, they fattened them up. | ||
| Did they give them makeup to fatten up, or did they make them eat? | ||
| I think they made them bald, and they gave them a fat suit. | ||
| No shit. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| I mean, Jim Norton's a guy I've known for, what, over 20 years? | ||
| And now I'm sitting there watching him as Don Rickles in a movie. | ||
| It was just blowing my mind. | ||
| Just blowing my mind. | ||
| But this thing is going to be... | ||
| I can't wait to see it. | ||
| I didn't see any of the movie, even when I was doing it. | ||
| I didn't even look at what I was doing. | ||
| So, yeah, I'm really excited to see what this thing looks like. | ||
| God damn, that's phenomenal. | ||
| What a milestone. | ||
| A movie with De Niro, Al Pacino, Joe Pesci, a fucking Scorsese film. | ||
| Harvey Keitel's in it. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| Bobby Cannavale's in it. | ||
| Dude, Harvey Keitel. | ||
| A lot of people never saw The Bad Lieutenant. | ||
| Have you ever seen The Bad Lieutenant? | ||
| No, I've never seen it. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Look, Harvey Keitel's been amazing in virtually everything he's ever done. | ||
| But The Bad Lieutenant is one of those movies that's so fucked up and so crazy. | ||
| It was about a bad cop. | ||
| Like a fucking really bad cop. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| And like completely, totally out of control. | ||
| But it is one of those movies where after it's over, you know, the credits roll and you're just sitting there trying to catch your breath just going, Jesus Christ, what the fuck did I just watch? | ||
| There's a... | ||
| An 80s? | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| Look how jacked he was. | ||
| It says 93, but they remade it with Nicolas Cage a couple years ago, too. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here with that one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not bad. | |
| No! | ||
| It's not the same, but it's not bad. | ||
| No! | ||
| I love Nicolas Cage, but no. | ||
| You stick to driving that Eleanor Mustang and gone in 60 seconds. | ||
| You can't be bad lieutenant, you son of a bitch. | ||
| Not that you're not a great actor, but look, there's certain guys that take over a role, and to do that again, like, here's one. | ||
| Say if they offered you Taxi Driver. | ||
| They'd say, hey, we're going to do Taxi Driver again. | ||
| You'd have to be like, yeah, good luck casting somebody else. | ||
| Get the fuck away from me with that. | ||
| You can't be De Niro in Taxi Driver unless you're De Niro. | ||
| It's impossible. | ||
| That movie, Cape Fear, another one. | ||
| By the way, Cape Fear was, I think, someone else was that character before. | ||
| I think Robert Mitchum, I think, played the same role that De Niro played. | ||
| But I didn't know that when I saw it. | ||
| When I saw it, I just thought, it's fucking De Niro. | ||
| 1962. There it is, yeah. | ||
| But if they tried to do it today, like, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| You can't, especially Taxi Driver. | ||
| No, you can't recreate that role with another actor. | ||
| No, no Bad Lieutenant. | ||
| Nobody's seen that Nicolas Cage, Bad Lieutenant. | ||
| Even Nicolas Cage probably didn't watch it. | ||
| It might have been like a sequel. | ||
| I don't know if it was a remake because it's called Port of Call. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's got an extension on the end of it. | |
| Port of Call, New Orleans. | ||
| It's called Bad Lieutenant, Port of Call, New Orleans. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| I heard about that. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's the Nicolas Cage one? | ||
| Yeah, 2009. So they tried to piggyback on her or some shit like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But whatever. | ||
| That Harvey Keitel version is holy shit. | ||
| But he's great in everything. | ||
| He's great in Pulp Fiction. | ||
| He's great in everything. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, he's a fantastic actor. | ||
| And they really... | ||
| I mean, the people in this movie are... | ||
| What's it like hanging out with those guys? | ||
| Listen, Joe, when I went in there, I told myself, I ain't talking to nobody. | ||
| I'm going to speak. | ||
| Unspoken to. | ||
| Unspoken to. | ||
| There was a part when they were kind of lighting De Niro and I, and we're standing face to face, and he's looking at me, and I'm looking right at him, and I wasn't going to say nothing. | ||
| And then he comes in on my tie, and he goes, your tie needs to be tightened a little bit, and he cinched my tie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| You straightened out my tie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah, I had a wig. | ||
| They put me in a wig. | ||
| What kind of wig would it look like? | ||
| Actually, if you type up Sebastian Mascalco Irishman, it should pop up. | ||
| Yeah, there it is. | ||
| What is the difference between that and your hair? | ||
| I'm so confused. | ||
| Why'd they give you a wig? | ||
| It's got sideburns. | ||
| I mean, if you see it in person, you'll understand maybe why I have it. | ||
| Yeah, it's not that much of a departure from my real hair, but... | ||
| Did they give you the option to grow inside Burns and you're like, get the fuck out of here? | ||
| No, they just said, again, I didn't say nothing. | ||
| They said, you're going to wear a wig. | ||
| No problem. | ||
| Whatever you want me to do. | ||
| Scorsese was like, okay, there's a part where I'm going to go through a window. | ||
| And he's like, okay, when you go through the window, and I'm like, oh, I'm going through a window? | ||
| Because I knew there was a stunt guy involved. | ||
| But he's telling me that I'm going to go through the window, and I wasn't going to say, I don't do windows. | ||
| You want me to go through a window? | ||
| I'll go through a window. | ||
| I'm not going to tell Martin Scorsese, I'm sorry, I need a stunt guy. | ||
| But then they said, hey, Marty, there is a stunt guy here. | ||
| He goes, oh, okay. | ||
| So I was ready to go through the window. | ||
| I went through a window on news radio. | ||
| Nick DiPaolo threw me through a window. | ||
| Is that right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's easy. | ||
| They're made out of sugar glass. | ||
| You just go right through it. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It feels like nothing, like a tissue paper or something. | ||
| It's very strange. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, whatever it takes. | |
| Scorsese wants me to go through it. | ||
| I mean, the guy went through, the stunt double went through, and he cut his hand. | ||
| Oh, did he really? | ||
| So I don't know what it was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| If I would have went through the window, Joe, I would have been dead. | ||
| Scorsese's such a psycho. | ||
| He might have made the guy go through real glass. | ||
| You know? | ||
| He might have been like, this is just not realistic enough. | ||
| I'll give you 500 extra dollars. | ||
| The sugar glass, whatever it is, is not going to work. | ||
| I guess you could probably cut yourself on that sugar glass shit if you landed wrong. | ||
| I mean, if it was sticking up wrong and you placed your hand funny, it makes sense. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You probably could cut yourself a little. | |
| But... | ||
| But yeah, it was exciting. | ||
| It's been really exciting for me to last three or four years to have these opportunities to do these things. | ||
| Yeah, it's great. | ||
| Listen, man, it's been awesome to see because I remember you first starting out at the Comedy Store. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I remember you from the late 90s just trying to get your shit together. | ||
| We did a lot of shows together, man. | ||
| And then you really came into your own during the time that I was away. | ||
| You know, comics always talk. | ||
| I was hearing from so many people how hard you were killing. | ||
| So many people were saying you were doing great. | ||
| You've always been like a real easy guy. | ||
| Real easy guy to hang out with. | ||
| Real easy guy to talk to. | ||
| So to see you blow up like this has been just fucking awesome. | ||
| Well, I appreciate that, Joe, and we've known each other for a while, and you're right. | ||
| At the time that you were away from the Comedy Store, I think I kind of found my voice in the beginning there. | ||
| It was really tough for me to find where... | ||
| I think I talked about this the last time I was on the cast. | ||
| I was trying different shirts that come with my nipples hanging out. | ||
| I had like a leopard shirt. | ||
| I thought it was cool. | ||
| As a young comedian, you're trying all these different things out. | ||
| Well, you were trying it out in the lion's den, too. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, you are in the fucking belly of the beast trying out stand-up. | ||
| It's very hard to do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But, no. | ||
| But I appreciate the support you've given me over the years and having me on the... | ||
| I don't take this lightly, you know? | ||
| I mean, when you had this podcast and it became so huge and still is huge to have me on here, you know, I appreciate it because, you know, I don't take anything for granted. | ||
| Well, I don't take you for getting it either, brother. | ||
| I really appreciate it, man. | ||
| You got it, bro. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Sebastian Manisalko, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| That's it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Goodbye. |
Export Selection