Jan. 25, 2019 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:01:43
Participants
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| I have a lot of friends that are fall off crazies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| And we're live, Nick DiPaolo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, baby. | |
| How are you live? | ||
| Good. | ||
| Good to see you, my friend. | ||
| I can't believe the gym out there. | ||
| It's nice, right? | ||
| With a Porsche park next to it. | ||
| You've got to be able to work out where you work. | ||
| If you do that, you get more in. | ||
| Next to your Porsche. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Two bad things aren't working out well for you, Joe. | ||
| I see what you're doing. | ||
| I'm not doing anything. | ||
| I'm right up front. | ||
| So we were talking before the podcast, and I said, save this, because it's hilarious. | ||
| Randy Credico, who's a stand-up comedian, Has been involved in this Roger Stone thing? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| As you know, Roger Stone this morning, the FBI raided, you know, took him out of his house. | ||
| Who I love. | ||
| Roger Stone interviewed me on Infowars. | ||
| He used to love my radio show on Sirius. | ||
| Yeah, they asked me to get him on, and I was like, eh, I think I'm going to duck that one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But he's fucking eccentric and crazy. | |
| He's a loon. | ||
| Yeah, and so is Randy, and they've known each other forever. | ||
| And are they friends? | ||
| Well, they were. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Until all this shit started. | ||
| And, uh... | ||
| Oh, it's fucking classic. | ||
| Randy Credico's radical left... | ||
| He used to do... | ||
| He did a comedy album years ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It was him and a bunch of other guys, and it was all political. | ||
| It was like five guys or three... | ||
| A few guys. | ||
| I forget how many guys. | ||
| I think Crimmins was on it. | ||
| Oh, sure. | ||
| It was Credico. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And, uh... | ||
| Maybe Jimmy Tingle? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Yeah, and they had like a whole thing they were doing, almost like a tour. | ||
| You know, like super left-wing, politically aware. | ||
| This is fucking way back in the day. | ||
| I want to say this is the 90s they were doing this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, he was always funny. | ||
| I mean, I'd watch him die every night at the Catch Rising Star, because he'd be up there doing such inside political shit. | ||
| He'd be talking about a bill that was passed that day on the floor, or whatever the fuck, and the crowd would be staring at him. | ||
| And he had a hot Asian girlfriend. | ||
| And he'd be dying up there. | ||
| This is when I fell in love with him. | ||
| And he goes, that's my girlfriend over there. | ||
| I taught her four words in English. | ||
| Not you. | ||
| Crowd suck. | ||
| I mean, he was really fucking funny. | ||
| But so political and inside. | ||
| He stayed at my apartment when I lived out here in L.A. And he fucking tried to pick up my wife after I left. | ||
| I had to go on the road somewhere. | ||
| But I still love him. | ||
| He's fucking crazy. | ||
| But he... | ||
| He sent me a picture of him, 2016, in front of the embassy in London, where, what's his name was held up? | ||
| Assange. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yes! | ||
| And I'm like, what the fuck is going on? | ||
| What's he doing out there? | ||
| And then all that shit came out about WikiLeaks and stuff. | ||
| So they thought he might have been the intermediary. | ||
| Yeah, so he's gone in front of... | ||
|
unidentified
|
For Roger Stone? | |
| He's gone in front of Mueller a couple times. | ||
| And so... | ||
| There it is right here. | ||
| Who is Randy Credico? | ||
| Roger Stone threatened to take away... | ||
| The guy stayed in my apartment! | ||
| ...associate's dog if he cooperated with Russia Investigate. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| He threatened to take away his dog? | ||
| Oh, fucking, you gotta read the text that Roger Stone, they're public, I think, would send to Randy. | ||
| I'm gonna take your dog? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He goes, let's get it on. | ||
| Be prepared to die. | ||
| I'm gonna take your fucking, that's why I love this guy. | ||
| This guy had a Nixon tattoo when he was 18 on his back. | ||
| Roger Stone did? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yes! | ||
| He marched in the gay parade in New York. | ||
| I fucking love him. | ||
| He's nuts. | ||
| Why'd he march in the gay parade in New York? | ||
| Is he pro-gay rights? | ||
| Well, he's pro just, yeah, you know, express yourself. | ||
| So he's just all over the place. | ||
| He's all over the place. | ||
| But he's a right, I mean, he had a Nixon tattoo. | ||
| He's a fucking right wing. | ||
| But all the right wing people to get, look at this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look, look, look. | |
| That is so ridiculous. | ||
| That's a good tattoo, too. | ||
| I know. | ||
| And that guy's 60-something years old. | ||
|
unidentified
|
At least. | |
| And he loved my radio show on Sirius, and he hosted InfoWars about six months ago. | ||
| He had me on as a guest when I got punched in the face by that broad. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| I forgot about that. | ||
| So, yeah, they raided the FBI, raided his house, took him out today. | ||
| And he got out on $250,000 bond. | ||
| And he wanted Credico... | ||
| You know, to stop contesting what Stone said in front of when he testified. | ||
| So Stone said one thing. | ||
| That's not how it went down. | ||
| So they're fighting and shit. | ||
| And then he's threatening them. | ||
| So I text Randy today. | ||
| I go, I'm doing Rogan. | ||
| I mean, if you want to weigh in. | ||
| And he's like, well, call me before the show or let me know. | ||
| He goes, there's not too much I can say right now. | ||
| But what's funny is I know both these guys. | ||
| Which is so weird. | ||
| That's so weird. | ||
| And he said, yeah, let me know. | ||
| He goes, I can't say much because they just arrested the FBI. They're going to turn, they're trying to, I see what Mueller's doing. | ||
| He's turning Roger Stone against Trump. | ||
| Trump is the target. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| So he's going to threaten him with, you know, he's 60-something years old, so he can spend the rest of his life in prison or talk. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Well, he's doing that with everybody. | ||
| He's a scary guy, Mueller. | ||
| If you had a problem and that guy was coming after you, like, oh my God. | ||
| Because he's going to do it slow. | ||
| Like, by the time this actually gets to Trump, he's going to be... | ||
| I don't think they do that slow. | ||
| They do whatever they want. | ||
| I think that's different than what you're thinking. | ||
| Anyway... | ||
| By the time they get to Trump, he's already so nerve-wracked. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Because he chips away at his borders. | ||
| Slowly but surely takes away all the people around him. | ||
| He gets closer. | ||
| And you know he's concentrating on the family. | ||
| You know he is. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| That's what he does. | ||
| And he even does that with people like Stone. | ||
| He'll go after your family and stuff. | ||
| You notice you never hear a word out of Ivanka anymore? | ||
| No, exactly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Guarantee you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Guarantee you they scared the fuck out of her. | ||
| But if you want to know about Mueller, like you said, and how fucking creepy he is, he was the head of the FBI during the 80s when the Whitey Bulger shit went down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Yeah, and he put four guys in prison. | ||
| Listen to this, Joe, and you can look this up. | ||
| This is amazing. | ||
| Four guys he put in prison. | ||
| Wrongly, it turns out, two of them died in prison. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Yeah, you can Google it. | ||
| Because of Bulger? | ||
| It had to do with that, yes. | ||
| Because they would do things and the FBI would let them get away with it because they were providing information. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| That was the whole Bulger thing. | ||
| That's exactly right. | ||
| And two guys died in prison, wrongly, by the way. | ||
| This guy's not a fucking good guy. | ||
| I know he's a Marine, a decorated Marine and shit. | ||
| They make those sacrifices. | ||
| They make those decisions where they're just going to help a person who's a criminal because that criminal is providing information that can allow them to get more criminals. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| Whitey was providing all kinds of shit about the guineas in East Boston. | ||
| That was a great movie, too, by the way. | ||
| You know, I used to train a guy who was one of Whitey's hitmen. | ||
| Dana White? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Dana White got threatened. | ||
| He had to move out of town. | ||
| It was Bulger, wasn't it? | ||
| Bulger-related. | ||
| Yes, it was Bulger-related. | ||
| When I was teaching Taekwondo, I had one of the guys that was in my class that was whacking people for Whitey Bulger. | ||
| He was asking me, if you want to kill somebody with your bare hands, where would you hit them? | ||
| I was like, uh, the neck? | ||
| I was like 18. I was like, I don't know. | ||
| And he goes, correct, Joe. | ||
| I was like, good. | ||
| Yeah, I like that. | ||
| Who was it, Kevin? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| But, you know, Kevin, you know, he went away, too. | ||
| Another tough kid. | ||
| Yeah, all related. | ||
| All of them together. | ||
| You know, this guy was a different guy. | ||
| This guy was, he went away, too. | ||
| But, I mean, he went away forever. | ||
| He was one of those guys. | ||
| Like, they caught him with blood under his fingernail. | ||
| And he was working with Whitey? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of guys that were. | ||
| I mean, it was a big organization. | ||
| When we were kids, I mean, everybody knew. | ||
| It was a big organization. | ||
| I mean, it wasn't a fucking secret. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Oh, I know. | ||
| How did Hannity's attempt to link Mueller to Whitey Bulger hold up? | ||
| This article in the Boston Globe says that's not true. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| It's the FBI. He wasn't there. | ||
| He wasn't there? | ||
| He wasn't there then. | ||
| Oh, he wasn't at the FBI. He corrupted his handlers. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| And the FBI and the New England Organized Crime Strike Force, a prosecutorial unit that worked independently in the U.S. Attorney's Office, reportedly reported directly to the Justice Department, used Bulger to build cases against the mafia and give him a pass on his own crimes. | ||
| The FBI's corrupt relationship with Bulger was exposed after he was indicted on federal racketeering charges in 1995 and became a fugitive. | ||
| He was captured 16 years later. | ||
| Yeah, I would hear. | ||
| Yeah, he was captured in Santa Monica. | ||
| I know. | ||
| So, when did Mueller... | ||
| It says, did Mueller know the four men have been wrongly convicted and looked the other way? | ||
| There's nothing linking Mueller to that case. | ||
| According to several attorneys, for the men, voluminous court records, and a former federal judge who presided over their wrongful imprisonment trial. | ||
| In 2007, the U.S. District Judge Nancy... | ||
| Gertner found the FBI deliberately withheld evidence that the four men were innocent. | ||
| The Bureau helped cover up the injustice for... | ||
| Jesus Christ, I fucking hate reading shit like that. | ||
| She ordered the government to pay the men and their families $101.7 million. | ||
| Okay, maybe worth it. | ||
| How long did you guys go away for? | ||
| Let's be honest. | ||
| You were never going to make a hundred million. | ||
| That's chicken scratch to you. | ||
| If they all got a hundred million, if every one of them got a hundred million, I mean, I'm in. | ||
| I mean, how much time do you have to do? | ||
| How many times do you get fucked while you're in jail? | ||
| How bad is it? | ||
| Per load. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| So, maybe it was just a rumor that he was a part of that. | ||
| Well, like you said, though, that's the FBI. As soon as the story broke, I'm sure they called the paper and said, listen, get your facts straight. | ||
| Well, how crazy is it that the FBI covered up the information and knew those guys were innocent? | ||
| That is dark. | ||
| Who went to jail for that? | ||
| Did the guys who covered it up go to jail? | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| But two of them died. | ||
| They died in jail? | ||
| Two of them died in jail. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When Whitey Bulger was out here, you know they caught him because his wife was yelling and shit all the time? | |
| Yeah, she was Coco. | ||
| He had fucking cash on the walls and shit. | ||
| Did he? | ||
| I used to sell meat door to door before I started comedy, and I used to go to fucking Winter Hill, not knowing where I was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| And I would wonder why people would take out my shit and they'd go, that breaks down like 40 bucks a pound, get the fuck out. | ||
| And then somebody explained to me, you know, Winter Hill is like Whitey Bulger's. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Wow. | ||
| So you were selling meat in his neighborhood? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Fucking same in East Boston. | ||
| I knocked on the door a couple of guys in Revere that were like fucking connected. | ||
| My buddy Al knew who they were and shit later on. | ||
| Well, they probably knew people from meatpacking. | ||
| They probably got it right off the boats. | ||
| No, of course. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| And I'm doing my little spiel there for a boiler, you know, a fucking boiler room operation. | ||
| Oh, you break it down per meal. | ||
| It comes out there three bucks a meal. | ||
| And they're doing the math in the head. | ||
| You could tell they were like bookies, you know. | ||
| They're like, that's like 40 bucks a pound. | ||
| Get the fuck off my steps. | ||
| It wasn't really that much? | ||
| No, but it was ridiculous, you know. | ||
| And I was in Rhode Island banging doors, and I got the same response. | ||
| And I looked down, I see in the streets, the lines on the streets are red, white, and green. | ||
| I was in Federal Hill in Providence, where the mafia started. | ||
| Look at that article. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Whitey Bulger's Santa Monica hideout was full of money. | ||
| It still brims with mystery. | ||
| He was living in like a normal apartment. | ||
| I know. | ||
| So weird. | ||
| He had $822,000 in cash and valuables. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| I like that movie. | ||
| I thought Johnny Depp was great in it. | ||
| Yeah, he was. | ||
| He was great in it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a creepy dude. | ||
| Yeah, he was as creepy as they get. | ||
| It's just amazing how much corruption was involved in that case. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Which federal government was a part of it, and they let that monster, they let him thrive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it makes you wonder about the FBI today. | ||
| Well, it should make you wonder about... | ||
| It just shows what they're capable of. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Let's put it that way. | ||
| Whenever you're doing that, whenever you're allowing someone to commit murder and deal drugs to get other people that are committing murder and dealing drugs, it's like, what? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because they would just want... | ||
| Look, what happens with cops... | ||
| This is very unfortunate, but this is just what happens when you have a game. | ||
| And the game is arrest people. | ||
| The game is win, right? | ||
| You have a certain amount of collars you have to make. | ||
| And if you can make more collars because you're in bed with a bad guy, especially if maybe you grew up in that neighborhood and it's always been kind of an accepted part of that neighborhood. | ||
| That guy Conley grew up with one. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| He makes a sneaky little deal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah? | |
| Oof. | ||
| Well, same with lawyers. | ||
| It's like sports. | ||
| You have to have a winning record. | ||
| You're not going to succeed. | ||
| So they play outside the rules. | ||
| I mean, that's one of the reasons why cops and people have such a weird relationship, because they're always looking to arrest people. | ||
| And your cops talk, and you're like, ah, don't put me on your record. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they just want, maybe I can get you for something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I gotta get somebody. | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| When they have quotas, like when you have quote, like what would the police force do if nobody broke crimes anymore? | ||
| That make shit up. | ||
| What would they do? | ||
| Like legitimately, if they really do have quotas. | ||
| But that would never happen, Jim. | ||
| It would never happen. | ||
| But what if everybody got on mushrooms and the world got cleaned up? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that the solution? | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| The world got cleaned up. | ||
| I was wondering how long it would take to get there. | ||
| Not much. | ||
| Not much time. | ||
| A couple years. | ||
| A couple years. | ||
| No, I mean in the conversation. | ||
| Mushrooms. | ||
| I got some right here if you want some. | ||
| Dude, I can't even handle regular mushrooms. | ||
| Fucking champ. | ||
| Shiitake make me crazy. | ||
| I don't know how you do that shit. | ||
| We had that discussion. | ||
| DMT and fucking... | ||
| A thick portobello. | ||
| Nice glaze. | ||
| A demi-glaze on it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It just, the whole, I mean, the Mueller thing is very, it's very interesting. | ||
| It's very interesting because you're watching a professional, like, cast a web. | ||
| Like, nice and slow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nice and slow. | |
| It's the full force of the FBI against you. | ||
| And if they'll do it against a Roger Stone, like you said, they'll do, you know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's creepy. | ||
| Well, Jamie said they opened up the government today to distract from the fact that Roger Stone got arrested. | ||
| Most likely. | ||
| Most likely. | ||
| I think you're right. | ||
| I think that's a good assessment. | ||
| I guess... | ||
| I mean, Trump's the final target, so... | ||
| But yeah, he's gonna threaten Stone with, you know... | ||
| He's like 66. Threatens him with 10 years, he's probably gonna... | ||
| Yeah, he's gonna sing. | ||
| There's enough to fucking make him sing. | ||
| Sing a song. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sing a song. | |
| Like Dershowitz says, they don't just sing. | ||
| How did Dershowitz put it? | ||
| They actually come up with the lyrics they create. | ||
| They don't just sing. | ||
| What do you think is going to happen to Trump, if you had to guess? | ||
| As far as this investigation? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Pass that coffee over here. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Thanks, brother. | ||
| Why do you think nothing's going to happen? | ||
| Well, that's not true. | ||
| I shouldn't say that only because I think Mueller's pretty fucking evil and will come up with something. | ||
| Well, you know, what, impeachment at the worst? | ||
| But where's the high crimes and misdemeanors? | ||
| Well, if there was obstruction of justice, if there was collusion, if there was any sort of... | ||
| If they can prove that there was some sort of concerted effort to undermine democracy. | ||
| I don't think they'll get them. | ||
| Even with Roger Stone, they're not charging him with collusion or conspiracy. | ||
| Just lying and covering up. | ||
| They don't have them for collusion or conspiracy. | ||
| They're lying covering up the interactions with Russians, right? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| I guess that would be Mueller's angle, yeah. | ||
| You know, Jamie was talking about something yesterday, and I started listening to this recent Sam Harris podcast, and it is fucking fascinating how much Russian troll farms and all these fake accounts and what they're trying to do. | ||
| And one of the things they're trying to do is, what Jamie was saying was that that kid with the MAGA hat, with the Native American beating the drum in front of him, the image of that was posted by this website that turned out to be a Russian troll farm. | ||
| But it was in Brazil. | ||
| It was a blogger in Brazil. | ||
| When CNN looked into it, they just kind of asked Twitter, what's going on with this account? | ||
| And by the time they'd asked them, they just suspended the account, so it's gone. | ||
| But you said they suspended the account because the account was a fake account. | ||
| Yeah, they thought it was posing as a California teacher. | ||
| Yeah, her name's Talia. | ||
| But it was an actual blogger in Brazil. | ||
| Oh, so it was Brazil. | ||
| It wasn't Russian. | ||
| No. | ||
| I wasn't sure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I just was sort of saying, like, it went into a fake account of some... | ||
| But yes, they saw some seeds of... | ||
| Yeah, well, they're trying to get people against each other. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| Like, they're doing that in America. | ||
| Like, people need to understand that this is actually really happening. | ||
| Well, do we need their help, really? | ||
| Well, we do. | ||
| To turn against each other? | ||
| Do we need the Russians' help? | ||
| Well, if you stop and think about it, has there ever been a time where the left and the right were more at each other's throats than right now? | ||
| CNN's enough. | ||
| You don't need Russia. | ||
| But is CNN enough to really get people turned against each other like this? | ||
| No fucking way. | ||
| You need angry discourse online. | ||
| And the way that comes from, there's an amazing Radiolab podcast about this where they talk to people that actually worked in these troll farms. | ||
| And that these people, they would both be left-wing and right-wing. | ||
| And this is one of the things that they're talking about on the Sam Harris podcast. | ||
| I think it's called War of Information. | ||
| But... | ||
| They'll pose as, like, pro-choice people and say ridiculous shit. | ||
| Like, over-the-top, ridiculous. | ||
| And then they'll pose as pro-life people with, like, an American flag and, you know, MAGA in the, you know, the hashtag MAGA and their heading. | ||
| But they have nothing to do with that. | ||
| They're just Russians. | ||
| And they're just trying to get people riled up. | ||
| And you see people jump on board and start chiming in. | ||
| But I was talking to a comic that we were talking about that I won't bring his name up. | ||
| But he referred me to this Russian guy. | ||
| I'm not going to remember his name, but this is a clip of this Russian guy who worked for the KGB, defected over here, and he was explaining how Russia does that. | ||
| And this was back in the 80s. | ||
| Well, we do it, too. | ||
| Everybody does it. | ||
| They all do it. | ||
| Everybody does it. | ||
| They fuck with the system in any way, shape, or form in order to achieve a desired result. | ||
| I think the Russians are the best at it, apparently. | ||
| Well, I just think they're way more dedicated to it. | ||
| I mean, it's a sneaky way to go about doing things, too, because Russia doesn't have the kind of money that the United States has. | ||
| Their economy is the size of Texas. | ||
| All they have is nuclear weapons. | ||
| Almost like a third world... | ||
| And a brutal dictator. | ||
| And a dictator. | ||
| That's all it takes, but as far as... | ||
| The economy and everything, they're like a third world shithole. | ||
| Yeah, well, they're like a small European country. | ||
| But it's really interesting when you listen to these podcasts about how much effort they put into sowing discourse, or discord, to getting people upset with each other, to starting arguments, and to saying things that are going to upset people in order to get the right versus the left. | ||
| To undermine democracy from the inside. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| I mean, it's weird that it works. | ||
| But it makes sense that it works. | ||
| It's a sneaky-ass strategy. | ||
| You think CNN does just as good a job? | ||
| They're fucking horrible. | ||
| But you're so right-wing. | ||
| I'm not so right-wing, John. | ||
| How right-wing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Far-right? | |
| Middle-right? | ||
| Center? | ||
| Right-of-center? | ||
| Right-of-center. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's wrong with CNN? Do you like it? | |
| First of all, I don't need to hear it in every fucking airport before I'm doing a gig. | ||
| The last fucking words I want to hear were Wolf Blitzer before my plane crashes. | ||
| Somebody told me Wolf Blitzer got on Jeopardy and they exposed him. | ||
| Yes, I remember reading that, too. | ||
| Because, you know, people get on television, they read off a teleprompter, you think they're brilliant. | ||
| They seem brilliant. | ||
| They seem so smart. | ||
| Then you get them alone. | ||
| How about Louie goes on Jeopardy and wins? | ||
| What, Louis C.K.? Yeah. | ||
| Did he? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Remember they have celebrities on once in a while? | ||
| When did he do that? | ||
| A couple years ago. | ||
| Did he go on with regular people and win? | ||
| I forget who he's against. | ||
| I think it was other famous people. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Remember Jonathan Groff? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, he's very smart. | ||
| Well, do you remember he went on Jeopardy? | ||
| Against regular people. | ||
| Won for a long time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he won the tournament. | |
| He won the whole tournament. | ||
| A comic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, folks, don't take us lightly. | ||
| Does he still write for, there he is, Wolf Blitzer, minus $4,000, you dumbass. | ||
| Yeah, it didn't work out so well. | ||
| That's fucking funny. | ||
| That is hilarious. | ||
| Well, you know, people can pretend to be smart, you know? | ||
| You read off the teleprompter, they give you the script, you know? | ||
| But was Jonathan Groff, does he still write for Conan? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But he was fucking really, really bright. | ||
| Funny guy, too. | ||
| And really funny. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't think he does stand-up anymore, though. | ||
| I think he just writes. | ||
| That's how smart he is. | ||
| He's like, enough of this. | ||
| Nonsense. | ||
| This jokey joke nonsense. | ||
| Enough is enough. | ||
| I'm starting to feel that way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But why do you hate CNN? Oh, come on. | |
| All the fucking shit they put out there. | ||
| Just an example. | ||
| How about when Donna Brazile had the notes for Hillary before the fucking Bernie? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Wasn't that enough to discredit the CNN? Yes, she was a pundit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they still had her on. | ||
| That's what's ridiculous, that they had her on after that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, still. | |
| That they told her what the questions were going to be. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, her book was amazing, though. | ||
| What's interesting is they fucked her over, and then she came out with a book. | ||
| And ripped them. | ||
| Ooh, that book is dark. | ||
| I haven't. | ||
| I haven't read it yet. | ||
| I've only read passages of it, but what I read about how they rigged the DNC, how they fucked Bernie out of the primaries. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Oof. | ||
| Oof. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bernie gets screwed. | ||
| It's a dark business. | ||
| It's all the same. | ||
| They're all in cahoots. | ||
| But you don't think the mainstream media is sort of like a propaganda arm for the Democratic Party? | ||
| Well, they definitely think they're working for the good. | ||
| But it's 93% negative coverage with Trump. | ||
| Trump is an unusually polarizing figure. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I mean, was it that way with... | ||
| Well, I guess I was probably pretty negative with Bush. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Always! | |
| But it was a different world back then. | ||
| No, it was, but they always, since I've been a kid... | ||
| I mean, Reagan was a dummy and just a fucking B-actor and an idiot and a racist. | ||
| You can look at this shit year after year. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| George Bush Sr., George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, war monger. | ||
| It's the same shit. | ||
| Racist, bigot, racist. | ||
| And it works. | ||
| And Ford. | ||
| It works. | ||
| Ford was a moron. | ||
| And Ford was... | ||
| Remember how he was portrayed on SNL? Yeah, he was always falling down. | ||
| He couldn't walk through... | ||
| Which was kind of true, actually. | ||
| And he was an athlete. | ||
| But it's always been that way. | ||
| The mainstream media has always sort of been more liberal. | ||
| Right, but then you have Fox News, which goes far the other way. | ||
| Well, there are opinion shows, but at least when you watch Fox News, which everybody who hates Fox News never watches it, number one, but they at least have liberals on. | ||
| And Shepard Smith fucking hates... | ||
| Yes, he does. | ||
| Because he looks like every guy that bullied him as a kid. | ||
| Do you think that's why he hates him? | ||
| Yeah, I do. | ||
| That's it? | ||
| The only reason. | ||
| Yeah, I do. | ||
| That's the reason most of them hate him. | ||
| Here's what they don't bring up. | ||
| Even Hannity and all these guys. | ||
| You get your head going like a pigeon. | ||
| Oh, for Christ's sake. | ||
| Let's change the subject. | ||
| He's getting irritated with me already. | ||
| I've got to get you out of L.A. I'm afraid you're going to get diseased. | ||
| I'm fine. | ||
| Everything's good over here. | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| Tell me about it. | ||
| But what were we just talking about? | ||
| Why they hate Trump. | ||
| They never bring up this, though. | ||
| Because he's an alpha male, blonde-haired, blue-eyed fucking billionaire. | ||
| That's the embodiment of the devil for the left. | ||
| They never bring that up on the show. | ||
| Do you think that's really what it is? | ||
| It has nothing to do with him lying all the time? | ||
| What's he lie about? | ||
| The number of people at his inauguration? | ||
| As opposed to Obama going, oh, you can keep your health care. | ||
| I mean, the fucking, you know. | ||
| He doesn't lie any more than any other president. | ||
| You don't think so? | ||
| If he does, it's trivial shit. | ||
| He's a salesman. | ||
| He's a fine line. | ||
| Well, he's definitely a salesman. | ||
| Oh, he's a bullshitter, but that's what we need. | ||
| We're a corporation. | ||
| We're a corporation? | ||
| The countries? | ||
| Don't you think so? | ||
| That's what I always hear. | ||
| It's kind of like that? | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| I mean, it's some sort of an organization. | ||
| Does Hillary Clinton lie at all? | ||
| Oh yeah, for sure. | ||
| Well, why didn't you get called on it? | ||
| How is that fat twad not in cups? | ||
| Oh, how dare you? | ||
| It is a good question. | ||
| Yeah, it's a great question. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was talking to Mike Baker, who used to work for the CIA. Oh, I thought you meant my fucking web guy. | |
| No, different Mike Baker. | ||
| Because he wanted to come out here with me. | ||
| Mike Baker from the CIA says if he did anything remotely like what Hillary did, he'd be in jail for 30 years. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Remember the kid in the submarine that worked for the Navy that took pictures of the submarine? | ||
| I mean, he took a selfie and it had bad shit in the background that he wasn't supposed to take photos of. | ||
| And how long was he in jail? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| So I would just like to see some equity as far as people being held accountable on both sides. | ||
| Well, maybe it would have been different if Hillary made it through. | ||
| Maybe it would have been different in terms of media coverage if she actually became president. | ||
| They would have sucked her ass. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You think so? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| Once Donna Brazile's book came out and people have an understanding about the inner workings of the party. | ||
| I mean, I think... | ||
| Look, politics are... | ||
| It's dirty, dirty business. | ||
| It's dirty. | ||
| It's worse than podcasts. | ||
| But podcasts are pretty clean. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Like, relatively. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But... | |
| It's very clean. | ||
| That's why people come to it now. | ||
| You can't get the truth from mainstream media. | ||
| Well, I was trying to explain to a friend who was talking about doing a podcast deal with a network. | ||
| And I was like, stop. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| This is the one thing... | ||
| That you can have. | ||
| It can be mainstream and it's free of everything. | ||
| Free of any influence. | ||
| And you're going to let a bunch of pencil pushers and button pressers, they're going to tell you what you can and can't say, which direction you can and can't go. | ||
| They're going to try to influence you. | ||
| But isn't Google doing that? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you mean? | |
| With conservatives, like shutting down Dennis Prager. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Google... | |
| Well, YouTube is owned by Google. | ||
| I'm talking about a company, you going into business with them, where you're a podcaster, you're free and independent, and it's probably the only thing in the world where you can be completely free and independent and still reach millions of people. | ||
| It really is the only thing in the world. | ||
| But what does Google do? | ||
| Well, what I'm saying, Google owns YouTube. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right? | ||
| And people like Dennis Prager, a religious right guy, his show gets shut down on YouTube. | ||
| What do you mean it's shut down? | ||
| He's suing. | ||
| He's suing fucking Google. | ||
| I didn't know about this. | ||
| I know he does those shows with Carolla, but I didn't know he was shut down. | ||
| I used to listen to him when I lived in L.A. He's a conservative religious Jewish guy. | ||
| I've listened to him a hundred times. | ||
| Well, they consider it hate speech. | ||
| I mean, that's when we're getting to a dangerous territory. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Pull up what happened to him, because I'm completely ignorant about this. | ||
| This is the first time I'm hearing about this. | ||
| Oh, this is going to go to the Supreme Court. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| So they took his page down. | ||
| They said you can't have a page on YouTube anymore. | ||
| Yeah, they shut his show down. | ||
| Do you remember what it was about? | ||
| Not specifically, but I know it was labeled hate. | ||
| And if you listen to this guy for 10 minutes, he's the most congenial, fair-minded, you know, but he's a, you know, religious guy. | ||
| And that shit doesn't fly. | ||
| Do you know who Douglas Murray is? | ||
| He's actually an intellectual from England who wrote a book about immigrants in Europe called The Strange Death. | ||
| I think it's called Islam and the Strange Death of Europe. | ||
| And he's basically talking about how people from these countries that have emigrated into Europe are changing the culture. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| They're changing the culture. | ||
| North Africa. | ||
| There's all sorts of, you know, crimes and things that are happening that didn't exist before. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| And people are developing these communities of like-minded people that didn't exist before. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| No-go zones. | ||
| And he's saying that this is, you know, this is fundamentally dangerous. | ||
| But he's saying it from a perspective of understanding the actual facts involved and talking about the situation and talking about how these are people that don't respect homosexuals. | ||
| They want to throw them off roofs and they have these opinions about people that are extremely antiquated and not aligned with European values in the modern Western world. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He and Sam Harris had a conversation, and that conversation got flagged on YouTube. | ||
| It got flagged because someone put it up in their... | ||
| You know, you make like a little watch list. | ||
| What is it called? | ||
| What is it called? | ||
| The list you could... | ||
| Will you put it on YouTube on your channel? | ||
| A playlist. | ||
| So he puts it on his playlist and he gets a community guideline strike against him for putting up this conversation between two intellectuals. | ||
| So I have this conversation with this lady at YouTube. | ||
| And I said, well, why would you do that? | ||
| She goes, well, it's hate speech. | ||
| I go, it's hate speech? | ||
| You're talking about two intellectuals having a discussion about a real thing that's happening right now in Europe. | ||
| And you're saying hate speech. | ||
| If you listen to the podcast, there's no slurs used, just facts. | ||
| They're just talking about... | ||
| Well, same with Prager. | ||
| But this was the way she said it, because it's hate speech. | ||
| I'm like, you said that so easily. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You've never seen this. | ||
| That's a lot of power. | ||
| But it's also a lot of irresponsible power. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Or irresponsible use of power. | ||
| But my point is they're cracking down on people who lean right, whether it's Twitter. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That's 100% true. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's a big fucking problem. | ||
| Hate speech. | ||
| We're going to let Google decide. | ||
| What's the name of the company that owns Alphabet? | ||
| They're going to decide what... | ||
| I brought that up on Tough Crowd years ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| About when you disagree with a liberal or whatever. | ||
| They always go, you're a hater. | ||
| They would keep saying that. | ||
| And that's what it turned into. | ||
| If you just disagreed, you're a hater. | ||
| Now it's you're a bigot or a racist. | ||
| If you didn't agree with Obama's policies, you're a bigot or a racist. | ||
| And that shit works. | ||
| That's been working for the left for years. | ||
| But now that the social media, Google, controls almost all the information you and I hear every day. | ||
| I mean, that's why it's so dangerous. | ||
| So look up – yeah, Prager is the first example that comes to mind. | ||
| That guy – excuse me – yeah, because he's, you know, a Christian or whatever. | ||
| Well, he's Jewish. | ||
| Yeah, he's Jewish, but, you know. | ||
| Looking it up, unless what I just read was wrong, they weren't, from YouTube at least, they weren't deleted. | ||
| They were restricted. | ||
| They shut down his show. | ||
| The adult thing, like you have to have an account that says you're 18 or older or something like that. | ||
| And they were fighting and having a lawsuit against that, saying that what they have in their videos shouldn't be behind that wall, whatever that is. | ||
| They also then... | ||
| But this is my point. | ||
| You have to go to YouTube to get the story. | ||
| Hold on, sorry. | ||
| Well, no, I'm on their website. | ||
| I went to a couple different websites to see it, but they were also, like yesterday, they had ads blacklisted from Spotify. | ||
| So they had ads that were, I guess, initially approved, and now they have been disapproved, and they haven't really explained to them why. | ||
| Dennis Prager's ads? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Well, he's suing me. | ||
| But his page is still up. | ||
| You know Corolla, don't you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I believe so. | ||
| Ask him about it. | ||
| Yeah, I will. | ||
| But the YouTube page is still up. | ||
| His show's not up. | ||
| His show is shut down. | ||
| I'll check that. | ||
| They might have taken it down by now. | ||
| This is kind of from a couple months ago. | ||
| Yeah, they shut him down. | ||
| So if you go to the Dennis Prager YouTube channel, it doesn't exist? | ||
| I'm checking right now. | ||
| So the idea that they would make that 18 +, because it's conservative? | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| No, this is up. | ||
| It's up. | ||
| This is it, right? | ||
| Okay, this is his channel, bro. | ||
| PragerU. | ||
| Yeah, that's his channel. | ||
| Okay, but... | ||
| He's got a million subscribers. | ||
| 1,949,000 subscribers. | ||
| They shut his show down. | ||
| So they brought it back up? | ||
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| They have a video up from an hour ago. | ||
| Spotify bans Prager from advertising. | ||
| Okay, then Google Prager Lawsuit. | ||
| If that's what it was about, it's about them being restricted. | ||
| Yeah, I am angry, because we're not getting the full story here. | ||
| Well, I mean, we're just finding out that it's up right now. | ||
| He's suing them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, I believe you. | ||
| My point being is, these big tech companies are crushing conservative opinions for the most part, right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And here's a good way to look at it. | ||
| If you're going after a guy like Dennis Prager, who again is the most congenial guy, never swears, very mild-mannered, very cool and calm, whether you agree with him or disagree with him, the way to go about something like this if you disagree with someone is not to shut them down. | ||
| No, it's to have a debate. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah, and that's not happening. | ||
| Well, you know, you saw the Google memo. | ||
| You saw what happened with that guy when he provided all this information about one of the reasons why women don't get into tech. | ||
| And they labeled him as being a misogynist and a woman hater. | ||
| Like, no, he's giving you scientific studies that show that women have different interests. | ||
| Is that Lawrence Summers you're talking about? | ||
| There's been a few since. | ||
| Lawrence Summers was actually the president of Harvard, and he was giving a speech, and that's all he said. | ||
| He brought up the numbers as far as males going into science and math. | ||
| He didn't say women aren't good at it, and he got fucking canned from Harvard. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, you can't have anything that... | ||
| That's fascism! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If it disagrees with the orthodoxy, they'll come down on you. | ||
| Even if it's factual, like James Damore, and you could clearly back it up. | ||
| You could look at the actual numbers. | ||
| Not only that, that James Damore guy put a page and a half in there on strategies for encouraging women to get into tech. | ||
| I mean, if he was a real massagist... | ||
| He was working for who, the more... | ||
| Google. | ||
| Google, yes. | ||
| He's the Google memo guy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That was what started off, because all these intellectuals came to his side. | ||
| They go, look, why are we doing all this research if you guys completely ignore it every time it comes up? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, you're pretending that this research is not valid. | ||
| This research is... | ||
| It's scientific information that shows that certain types of people are more interested in different things. | ||
| We've known that forever. | ||
| That's why boy toys and girl toys are different. | ||
| Because boys and girls like different shit. | ||
| I mean, it's basically a more complex version of that. | ||
| And he's essentially saying, women like different things. | ||
| It doesn't mean that they can't do it. | ||
| Joe, that's horrible to say. | ||
| The only difference between the sex is the socially constructed obstacles. | ||
| Well, gender is a social construct. | ||
| Yeah, gender itself. | ||
| It is. | ||
| They should come here and take a look at your place. | ||
| That would shut the argument down. | ||
| It's all male. | ||
| Male gender. | ||
| I've got some female stuff here from when my kids come over. | ||
| Tell them what you said to me when I said, what a fucking great place. | ||
| Oh, this is what happens when women don't get to tell you what to do. | ||
| You have a place. | ||
| You have a warehouse of male. | ||
| I'm a nice guy. | ||
| That's not bad. | ||
| But the problem is, in this society, male energy, male thinking, male energy is vilified. | ||
| And you're taught to think there's something wrong with being masculine. | ||
| Being masculine is the reason why we don't speak German. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Stop. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Talk about toxic masculinity. | ||
| You'll be the poster boy for that shit. | ||
| Well, the whole reason why you need male people is because there's male people at other places that will take away your shit and kill your people and rape. | ||
| This is not a bad thing. | ||
| Male does not equal evil. | ||
| Just because there are evil men, they are evil men. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| It doesn't mean all men are evil. | ||
| There's evil women, too. | ||
| It doesn't mean all women are evil. | ||
| I dated three of them. | ||
| I bet you dated more than three. | ||
| Let's be honest. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, you're absolutely right. | ||
| But this toxic masculinity is just fucking hilarious. | ||
| Like you said, really? | ||
| World War II, how would that turn down? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, there's just so many dumb phrases like that, you know? | |
| Well, they're made up. | ||
| Do you know about heteronormative? | ||
| I'm sure I have. | ||
| You know, cisgender? | ||
| Cisgender, yes. | ||
| Heteronormative? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, like, you're imposing the norms, like, as if heterosexuality is normal. | ||
| Well, did you see, what was the story a couple days ago? | ||
| Oh, it was in California. | ||
| Here, a beautiful state of California. | ||
| They're trying to, the he, you can't say he or she, it's they now. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where? | ||
| Everywhere? | ||
| I'm saying it. | ||
| Her name is Hannah something Jackson. | ||
| He? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now you have to say they. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| And they were passing it. | ||
| They had her in the meeting, the actual town hall or city where they're passing the ordinance, and at the end she goes, my grammar teacher wouldn't approve of this. | ||
| She's rolling around, but we won't hear from her. | ||
| She said her, and somebody called her out on it. | ||
| As she was passing the bill. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What fucking left-wing nonsense? | |
| You shouldn't say her about your grandmother. | ||
| She's not here. | ||
| To correct your gender identification. | ||
| Of course, she looked like Newt Gingrich. | ||
| There she is. | ||
| California state senator bans the use of he and she during committee hearings. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, look at her with her perfect fucking liberal haircut. | |
| Newt Gingrich's haircut. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Some people are... | ||
| Sham Howard's face. | ||
| Some people are just hilarious. | ||
| But they called her out. | ||
| She's trying to do a good thing. | ||
| That is funny. | ||
| And they call her out. | ||
| They had a laugh about it. | ||
| That is so funny. | ||
| Who the fuck does she look like? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| We won't be hearing from her. | ||
| Well, you made me laugh. | ||
| Jackson was then interrupted by listeners who corrected her usage and demand... | ||
| Oh, stop. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| Go back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, it's down there. | |
| Sorry. | ||
| Corrected her usage and demand that she use the word they or them. | ||
| They demanded. | ||
| See, this is the problem with all this shit. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's demanding. | ||
| They're trying to control people. | ||
| They're telling people what to do and what not to do, and it's about power. | ||
| A lot of this stuff is about power. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All of it is. | |
| They're imposing their worldview on you. | ||
| But it's not even their worldview. | ||
| It's not real. | ||
| What it is, is they're just deciding that this is a thing that they're going to agree to, and they're going to force other people to comply. | ||
| It's half the game. | ||
| Half the game is just getting people to comply. | ||
| Well, you do that by, and you start with language. | ||
| You control people's behavior through language, which is the definition of political growth. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Well, that's what Carlin always said, that fascism is just political correctness with good manners. | ||
| Or political correctness is fascism with good manners. | ||
| How about, you saw a clip of Louis at Governors when he was talking about this, how the, you know, the millennials or whoever demanding what we call them. | ||
| Yes, they are them. | ||
| And he goes, okay, Louis goes, okay, I'm a location. | ||
| Yeah, it's your mother's country. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Then he goes, I gotta come up with something more clever, not as harsh, whatever. | |
| I'm a location, your mother's gone. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What did you think about all that stuff getting leaked? | ||
| About Louie's stuff? | ||
| You know, Stan Hope had a really good point about that. | ||
| What did Dougie say? | ||
| Dougie was saying, like, look, if this was a movie, if you took that movie and filmed it in the movie theater and then put it online, you'd go to jail. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| You're a criminal. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're stealing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you're ruining his work. | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But they think they can ruin his work because he jerked off in front of some people. | ||
| I don't even know if it's that. | ||
| I don't even know if the person that leaked it was a Louis hater. | ||
| They seem like a fan. | ||
| They were laughing hard. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's like they had their phone on their table. | ||
| It wasn't Governor's. | ||
| It was the brokerage, which is the same owners, a few years ago. | ||
| And I'm up there doing my shit and working on a new hour. | ||
| I look down, and the kid about 56th row, I see him. | ||
| I see the red light. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he's got his head down. | ||
| So I come down off the stage, he doesn't even hear me, and I grab the phone out of his hand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| It fucking deleted. | ||
| I go, dude, you came out of it because you're a fan of mine, right? | ||
| I go, the problem... | ||
| I explained it to him and the whole crowd. | ||
| The problem with this is, if you put this shit online, I'm working on news... | ||
| That's old material. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're burning my shit. | ||
| Do you get it? | ||
| Yeah, to all the other fans that listen to it, for sure. | ||
| And also, it's not fair because... | ||
| These bits are never done. | ||
| Like, if you want to release it half-baked, like, when you first start working on a bit, you have a premise, you got kind of an idea where it's going. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Yeah, and then it eventually becomes a bit that you would put on a special. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And they get it halfway or a quarter. | ||
| And it looks shitty, or if it's done, if you're doing a bit that's complete, it becomes old. | ||
| Well, that was some of the things that people were saying about Louis, that the material's sloppy, it's not like it's old stuff. | ||
| He's working shit out! | ||
| The old stuff you saw when it was done. | ||
| Like, if you came to the store and saw him working on a set a few years back, you would see the same kind of stuff. | ||
| I got a couple comments like that when I put my last special out. | ||
| They're like, well, he's doing the same stuff. | ||
| Well, you came out to see me eight, ten months ago when I was working on it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's something in process. | ||
| They don't understand, though. | ||
| Because it seems like when you're on stage and you're killing... | ||
| It's coming off the top of your fucking head. | ||
| And it seems like you're doing something that they can do. | ||
| You're just talking. | ||
| Oh, I know. | ||
| You're just talking. | ||
| I can talk. | ||
| It's like there's no other art form like that where it's just talking. | ||
| That's exactly right. | ||
| Nobody yells at a concert. | ||
| Nobody... | ||
| I can play bass better than that jerk-off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Some people probably do. | ||
| People have, you know, because people have made their friends laugh. | ||
| I think Seinfeld saw it in a book years ago. | ||
| Because, you know, you make your friends laugh. | ||
| Everybody's made their friends laugh, whether you're a comic or not. | ||
| And you're like, I can do this. | ||
| I call people out when they look bored with me or they have their arms folded. | ||
| I go, dude, you got that smug look in your face. | ||
| I know you could do this too, but you'd rather work at the fucking mattress factory 80 hours a week and making fucking $400. | ||
| There's people out there working at the mattress factory right now listening to this going, man, fuck you, Nick DePaul. | ||
| Yeah, well, fuck them. | ||
| Whoa, hey, how about you just ignore the guy that's sitting... | ||
| I mean, $2,000 for a mattress? | ||
| Joe, come on. | ||
| Looking weird. | ||
| Well, you make a mattress. | ||
| How much could I pay you to make a mattress? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| What am I getting at the Comedy Palace tonight in San Diego? | ||
| I'd have to pay you a lot of money to build me a mattress. | ||
| But you said it. | ||
| They got that look on their face. | ||
| You have to pay for the foam and stitch it all together. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| You think making a mattress would be easy? | ||
| Oh, please. | ||
| I get foam laying all over the house. | ||
| Start with my wife's boobs. | ||
| Oh, come on, Joe. | ||
| Where do you get this coffee? | ||
| It's fucking delicious. | ||
| I think this is Black Rifle. | ||
| Black Rifle Coffee. | ||
| I don't like that name. | ||
| It's racist. | ||
| Oh, it's not. | ||
| It's a little gun metal. | ||
| It's a company of veterans. | ||
| They make excellent coffee. | ||
| It's veterans? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Veteran owned. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Matt Flagg. | ||
| Veteran owned too. | ||
| Veteran owned company. | ||
| I got a flag they sent me when I did the Afghanistan-USO thing. | ||
| Guy sent me a flag that they used in battle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nice. | |
| You have it folded up? | ||
| I had it hanging, but then I made a gym out of my fucking whatever, so I don't know where it is. | ||
| Well, you should probably find it. | ||
| I should probably put it back up, shouldn't I? Yeah. | ||
| Sorry I brought that up. | ||
| Don't worry about it. | ||
| The Louis C.K. set, you know, was very similar, in my opinion, to all the shit that he did before he got in trouble. | ||
| Very similar. | ||
| Very similar. | ||
| Same kind of material. | ||
| Same way he does things. | ||
| I mean, people forget that this is a guy who went on Saturday Night Live and did a joke about pedophiles. | ||
| And about, you know, maybe we should let them get away with it so they don't kill your kids. | ||
| I mean, it's fucked up. | ||
| It's a fucked up bit. | ||
| But he was the darling of the left back then, and so he was allowed to get away with that. | ||
| If he tried to do that same material, if he hadn't done that then and instead did that now, people would be fucking horrified. | ||
| What is it, Joe, about offending women or today's feminists? | ||
| They are at the, in my opinion, all this political correctness that we hate so much, shutting down, they are at the core of it. | ||
| I say this. | ||
| The zeitgeist of the times is like a fat chick's emotion. | ||
| Very sensitive. | ||
| You can't cross them. | ||
| Well, it's also because people are realizing now that they can make an impact. | ||
| One of the things that I read, because he's doing this thing in Pittsburgh. | ||
| He was doing the improv in Pittsburgh. | ||
| And this lady who wrote the article wrote that he's making people put their cell phones in bags, much like comedians Dave Chappelle and Joe Rogan do. | ||
| She used my name, too. | ||
| Do you do that? | ||
| I've done it before, but I only did it when I was filming my Netflix special. | ||
| So I didn't want people putting the material out right before I was releasing the special. | ||
| And then afterwards, I decided it was too much of a pain in the ass. | ||
| But the only reason why I was doing it, it had nothing to do with... | ||
| She said, because they know words can offend, and they don't want the consequences. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Well, I'm going to put it on Netflix. | ||
| Anyways, it's going to be out to the public, you dope. | ||
| It's offensive. | ||
| If you're looking to get offended, go watch my Netflix special. | ||
| There's plenty in there for you. | ||
| But I need to be able to do it correctly. | ||
| I want to work it out so that it has the maximum amount of laughs with the minimum amount of people getting it the wrong way. | ||
| Right? | ||
| So it's all about wording and sitting it upright and listening to it and going, maybe there's a better way. | ||
| You can't do that if somebody releases your shit. | ||
| So these people that don't know comedy and they're saying this, you have no idea what the process is like. | ||
| You just don't. | ||
| And if you do, you would respect it and appreciate it. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| And the people that are comics that don't respect and appreciate the process... | ||
| That's where we are now. | ||
| But it's just because people can make an impact. | ||
| They can have a reaction. | ||
| Just like the people yelling at her, you know, that she said, she said, oh, my grandmother would be rolling over in her grave. | ||
| Up, up, up! | ||
| Say they and them! | ||
| Say they and them! | ||
| They're just trying to get a reaction from you. | ||
| They're just trying to push buttons. | ||
| They're just knowing that they can say something and they can have some sort of an impact. | ||
| We're going to get Louis C.K. banned from here. | ||
| We're going to get Nick DiPaolo kicked out of this club. | ||
| You can't come to this club. | ||
| You talk negatively about women and women's empowerment and that's dangerous to girls. | ||
| I only get kicked out of one place. | ||
| Of course, one of the best clubs in the country. | ||
| What club? | ||
| Denver Comedy Works. | ||
| You got kicked out of the Comedy Works? | ||
| Like 20-something years ago. | ||
| For what? | ||
| Well, there was a bachelorette party ruining the middle guy's set, the MC set. | ||
| And then I went up. | ||
| My second time there, I think. | ||
| That's a great club, obviously. | ||
| And they started yelling shit out. | ||
| Like, take off your shirt, you dick! | ||
| And I said, can we throw these fat cunts out? | ||
| And it turns out a fat cunt was running the club. | ||
| So I was kicked out of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Son of a bitch. | |
| Hey, well, that's how I feel, Joe. | ||
| I was thrown out because of my words. | ||
| And I get kicked out for smoking on stage at Rooster T-Feathers. | ||
| Those are the only two places? | ||
| Yeah, I think. | ||
| That was a long time ago, though, right? | ||
| Smoking on stage? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| When was the last time you smoked on stage? | ||
| Oh, a couple weeks ago. | ||
| Oh, the fat black pussycat. | ||
| Do you smoke still? | ||
| Well, you say still. | ||
| I just really started. | ||
| I was... | ||
| 15-20 years ago, I was a social smoker, because everybody, the comedy seller, I'd be sitting across a Mattel, breathing in his shit, and I'm like, I might as well put a filter in my mouth. | ||
| And so, you know, I'd have one or two, but then I really picked up the pace about a year ago. | ||
| What the fuck is that? | ||
| It keeps the pounds off. | ||
| What? | ||
| Joe, it's no more dangerous than steroids. | ||
| It's not? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I just know I like it. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| Oh, I do. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I do. | ||
| What kind do you smoke? | ||
| Marlboro Lights. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, it's gentle. | ||
| They're lights. | ||
| Well, I'll take... | ||
| Cancer light. | ||
| You get a light tumor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you get a... | |
| How many are you smoking a day? | ||
| Half a pack. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Dude, you're too smart for that. | ||
| That's outrageous. | ||
| Oh, Joe, please. | ||
| You are? | ||
| You can't kill me. | ||
| It can't? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nah. | |
| Wow. | ||
| My grandfather smoked Pall Malls on Felted and Camels when he was 13 years old. | ||
| So you think it's like a genetic thing? | ||
| Yeah, you can't kill it to Apollo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, look, I do it my— Yeah. | |
| I do it in my act, though, because my friends go, why would you start at this age? | ||
| And I go, why would you start in your 20s so you could have ass cancer in your 40s? | ||
| I'm timing it out. | ||
| I see. | ||
| If a doctor tells me I have cancer in 25 years, I'm going to kiss him on the lips. | ||
| You see the looks on guys in their 80s? | ||
| They look happy. | ||
| They're like, I wish I smoked when I was a fucking kid. | ||
| I knew you would have disapproved. | ||
| Sad. | ||
| Sad for you. | ||
| Watch this chew. | ||
| I did that in college. | ||
| Get your jaw removed. | ||
| Yeah, no, exactly. | ||
| I'd rather go. | ||
| I'm very vain. | ||
| I don't want to be that lady that looks like Popeye. | ||
| I don't want to be that broad. | ||
| She was so cute when she was young. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| And then she turned into Popeye with the voice and everything. | ||
| But I'll kick it. | ||
| You promise? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You stop juicing. | ||
| I'm not juicing. | ||
| I take testosterone replacement therapy. | ||
| Why do you? | ||
| From a doctor. | ||
| You don't need it. | ||
| You say I don't need it. | ||
| That's why I don't need it. | ||
| Because I do it. | ||
| If I didn't do it, I would look like a regular 51-year-old man. | ||
| Excuse me. | ||
| Trust me. | ||
| If I can get you on it, go to a doctor to get your hormone levels checked. | ||
| I'll do it tomorrow, and I'll quit the cigarettes. | ||
| Your body just works better. | ||
| I'll quit the cigarettes. | ||
| Promise? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I do need it. | ||
| I mean, I destroyed my shoulders playing football, and I have aches and pains. | ||
| But, you know, I'm 593 quarters, 213. That's not too bad, but you're a thick dude. | ||
| You're thick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, it's muscle. | |
| You always get that Italian thickness. | ||
| Well, that's how I work out. | ||
| Density, bro. | ||
| I got those shoulders. | ||
| I got a lot of density. | ||
| But this is the biggest I've ever seen you. | ||
| I've been working out a lot. | ||
| Plus I haven't been running because I had some stem cells shot into my knee. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, I've had some meniscus issues. | ||
| And I'm a fucking idiot. | ||
| I can't let him sit. | ||
| I've got stem cells before and it felt good. | ||
| And then I run miles in the hills every day a week later after the shots. | ||
| You can still do that. | ||
| I can't do that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My knees. | ||
| I have slight arthritis in both knees. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, stem cells help that. | ||
| Definitely does. | ||
| There's a bunch of different things you could do to help that before it gets real bad. | ||
| But one of the things they're doing in Panama... | ||
| I sent my mom down there to Dr. Neil Reardon. | ||
| He's very good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you know who he is? | ||
| No. | ||
| I had him on the show with Mel Gibson. | ||
| And Mel Gibson's dad was 92 when he went down there. | ||
| He was in a wheelchair. | ||
| He was all fucked up. | ||
| And he walked back. | ||
| He's 100 years old. | ||
| He's fine. | ||
| He's 100? | ||
| He's 100. 8 years old. | ||
| That's what happens when you're 92 and you live 8 more years. | ||
| Thanks for doing the math. | ||
| No, that's what happens when you yell shit out. | ||
| You can say racist shit. | ||
| You get it off your chest. | ||
| You live to your hundred. | ||
| Well, it's only the booze that makes them racist. | ||
| I know. | ||
| So what? | ||
| Fucking guy's my hero. | ||
| Fucking love Mel Gibson. | ||
| Has he ever made a bad movie? | ||
| I mean, made it himself. | ||
| He's been in maybe a couple. | ||
| He's been in a few shit movies. | ||
| That's a toxic masculinity right there. | ||
| I liked Apocalypto. | ||
| That was awesome! | ||
| I thought that was great. | ||
| A lot of people shit on that movie. | ||
| That was right up your alley. | ||
| Yeah, I loved it. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| I'm fascinated with that culture. | ||
| I thought you co-produced it when I watched it. | ||
| I wish I was a part. | ||
| No, I loved that movie. | ||
| You know... | ||
| I think he's a very intense, very unusual, eccentric guy. | ||
| Like, just being around him, you get this sense of his energy. | ||
| It's like, it's all over the place. | ||
| Even now. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| From Lethal Weapon. | ||
| Yeah, I don't have that. | ||
| Like, a lot of that, I think, probably came, like, that character probably came from, like, the dark inner workings of Mel Gibson's mind. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| You'll like that too, though, aren't you? | ||
| I don't have that energy. | ||
| Remember Trump kept calling Jeb Bush low energy? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I was laying on the couch going, that's fucking me he's talking about. | ||
| I'm laying on the couch and I hear about somebody dying in an avalanche and I watch shit on TV and I laugh because I would never fucking be dropped off in a helicopter at the top of a mountain. | ||
| To go snowboarding? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then they die. | ||
| I'm laughing my balls off. | ||
| I'm eating a bag of chips. | ||
| Well, the one person he's never called anybody anything is Nancy Pelosi and people are like, why hasn't he come up with a nickname for her yet? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Well, because you can't say cunt. | ||
| That's going to cost him the election. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That'll cost him 2020. Greg Fitzsimmons had a joke about that. | |
| He's like, it's countdown until Trump calls Hillary a cunt. | ||
| That thick-ankled dog face. | ||
| That's what I call Hillary. | ||
| I don't even call her a cunt. | ||
| What kind of a nickname, if you were going to help him, like if he hired you? | ||
| Like, Nick? | ||
| Pelosi? | ||
| I need a solid Republican comic to help me with my one-liners. | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| Well, I call her on my show, I refer her to the leathery, nippled. | ||
| That's too wordy. | ||
| I think she was pretty good looking when she was back in her day. | ||
| Like Lion Ted. | ||
| Okay, yeah. | ||
| Fucking Naughty Nancy. | ||
| What did he call Hillary? | ||
| Crooked Hillary. | ||
| Crooked Hillary. | ||
| Lying Ted. | ||
| Low Energy Jeb. | ||
| How about yeast infection in heels? | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| How about lying liberal fuckstick? | ||
| Do you know that she's worth $100 million? | ||
| Yes, I do, but she represents the little people, Joe. | ||
| You know, she has fucking walls around her mansion. | ||
| Meanwhile, people are laying their own faces in San Francisco. | ||
| Well, that Laura Loomer chick, the chick that handcuffed herself to Twitter, she hopped Nancy's fence and started setting up a migrant camp on Nancy's lawn. | ||
| Did you see that? | ||
| What happened? | ||
| They kicked her out. | ||
| What was the result? | ||
| Illegal. | ||
| She's doing something illegal. | ||
| She's trespassing. | ||
| I would say to Nancy, I'd be outside the house going, this fence is immoral. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Build that wall. | ||
| Or don't. | ||
| I always think, the wall's stupid when we have machine guns and tanks. | ||
| And flamethrowers, like I took... | ||
| You don't have to kill. | ||
| I'm serious about this. | ||
| You're going to laugh. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You don't have to. | ||
| But seriously, I love how we rule out lethal force as far as protecting our border. | ||
| That's not even on the plate. | ||
| So, okay, it's too medieval to pick somebody off as they're climbing. | ||
| But, okay, use something less lethal. | ||
| A super soaker filled with cat piss. | ||
| With a woman and her baby trying to come over here for a while? | ||
| Yes, that's who's coming over. | ||
| It's not fucking mostly 20-year-old males. | ||
| No, leave the women and children, whatever. | ||
| Just push them off the wall. | ||
| What do you do with them? | ||
| Send them back to where the fuck they came from. | ||
| Do you have no sympathy for those folks that are trying to come over here? | ||
| We're immigrant children. | ||
| Yes, absolutely. | ||
| When did your parents come over? | ||
| My grandparents. | ||
| At the turn of the century, like 1902, 1903. They should have stayed in Italy. | ||
| You think? | ||
| People should have stayed in Poland. | ||
| The Irish should have stayed in Ireland. | ||
| We would have no Nick DiPaolo. | ||
| It would be great. | ||
| This is an experiment that's not working, Joe. | ||
| You've got to admit. | ||
| What the fuck is wrong with you, Nick? | ||
| Can you watch these viral videos? | ||
| I know you're joking around, but I seem a little bit more dour than previous conversations we've had. | ||
| I was faking it, Joe. | ||
| I was faking it. | ||
| Trump came along and I said, I can say this shit. | ||
| Get this off my chest. | ||
| The light and cheeriness. | ||
| Remember my bit? | ||
| I had a great bit about immigration, how it was like having a big party, but you had to contribute to the party. | ||
| Remember the bit on one of my albums? | ||
| The Irish brought the booze, the Italians brought the food. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Now I do remember that. | ||
| Remember? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And the Mexicans said, fuck it, we'll clean up afterwards. | ||
| Yeah, psst. | ||
| People loved it. | ||
| No, look, I defend Latinos all the time on my show. | ||
| They're like Italians. | ||
| We're at the turn of the century. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Hard-working. | ||
| And when you watch the news and you see a lot of people dying, you know, fighting for us, a lot of Latino names in there. | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| I'm a big fan. | ||
| That's not the problem, you know. | ||
| But I don't think you should be labeled a bigot if you believe in securing the borders and it's not immoral. | ||
| How about all the heroin coming over? | ||
| Is that a lie, too? | ||
| Well, you know how they're bringing that over there? | ||
| Did you pay attention to the Chapo trial? | ||
| They're bringing it mostly in cargo ships. | ||
| Most of it's coming over in cargo ships. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Remember from the Sopranos? | ||
| They said 8 out of 10 cargo ships never get checked. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yes, I remember that. | ||
| Apparently that's true. | ||
| I was talking to a guy who was a longshoreman about that. | ||
| He's like, they don't know what the fuck's in those things. | ||
| I know, isn't that creepy? | ||
| One of them is going to blow up. | ||
| That's the fucking... | ||
| Shh, don't give them any ideas. | ||
| They already have these ideas. | ||
| They call me up and say, that's not a bad idea. | ||
| How did you get punched? | ||
| Why did that lady punch you? | ||
| It was a 20-year-old bipolar girl. | ||
| I was at Levity Live. | ||
| I did a show, came off stage, went into the green room for a few minutes, and then came back out, and I was standing to the left of the stage. | ||
| And I don't always shake hands and do all that shit after the show. | ||
| I just don't feel it's in the job description. | ||
| Sometimes I'll do it, sometimes I won't. | ||
| But some people started coming up to me and shaking hands and taking pictures. | ||
| And this guy approaches me, sort of looked like you a little bit, stands to my right. | ||
| And he goes, can I get a picture? | ||
| I go, sure. | ||
| I stand to my right. | ||
| I'm looking at him, talking to him. | ||
| He's like, yeah, I enjoyed the show, but my daughter wanted to punch you in the face. | ||
| He didn't even finish the word face, and I get suckered from this. | ||
| I didn't even know she was in the fucking room. | ||
| All of a sudden, BAM! Whoa. | ||
| And I mean, bam! | ||
| I mean, fucking, you know, I was... | ||
| I don't know if you ever get fucking suckered. | ||
| I could feel the eye closing immediately, you know? | ||
| And I looked right at him. | ||
| This is how good my instincts were, even when I was in shock. | ||
| I go, did you just fucking set me up? | ||
| No, it's nothing like that, man. | ||
| He didn't jump in and go to his daughter, what are you doing? | ||
| You know, it was kind of... | ||
| I, to this day, believe it was complicit. | ||
| He was complicit in it, but I'm still pursuing it. | ||
| What did she do? | ||
| I finally looked at her. | ||
| I go, why'd you do that? | ||
| Because you're mean. | ||
| She thought I was racist and sexist. | ||
| Meanwhile, there was a table of black people, Dominican. | ||
| It was a very diverse crowd. | ||
| Absolutely loved it. | ||
| Coming to my defense after that happened. | ||
| Nobody got offended. | ||
| Even a friend of mine who's seen me a million times, because you weren't even being that political that night. | ||
| She had Birkenstocks on and, you know, bipolar. | ||
| And I'm still pursuing it. | ||
| And the guy didn't apologize? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nothing? | |
| He didn't apologize. | ||
| But I said, you just fucking said, no, I didn't, man. | ||
| It's nothing like that, you know. | ||
| He said, I shouldn't have brought her here. | ||
| But you did. | ||
| You weaponized your bipolar daughter, is what you did. | ||
| I believe they sat down at the table before they left the house. | ||
| He knows what I did for comedy. | ||
| He didn't have the balls to do it himself. | ||
| You think? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| Look at you. | ||
| You worked up. | ||
| So, I'm going to work for those kettlebells before I leave here, and then I'm going to find this motherfucker. | ||
| I'm going to get you on a bike and get you to burn off some energy. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's the coffee. | |
| It might be that. | ||
| This is Black Rifle Coffee. | ||
| I love this shit. | ||
| Veteran-owned coffee. | ||
| It's very potent. | ||
| I want to contribute to anything veterans do. | ||
| I got some bags for you. | ||
| I'll get you some. | ||
| It's great stuff. | ||
| But yeah, so the fucking, you had the funniest, this is what's funny about it. | ||
| For years, people tell me to, you know, keep your temper in check, blah, blah, blah, you know, you'll fuck up your career, you don't, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| I've been hearing that for years. | ||
| After this happened, they're all going, why didn't you hit her back? | ||
| Why didn't you? | ||
| You texted me like the next day, or that night, I can't remember, and you said, you go, This made me laugh for five minutes. | ||
| You go, Joe goes, I thought Joe was going to go, good thing you didn't hit her back. | ||
| Joe goes, I would have fucking leg whipped her. | ||
| Which made me laugh so hard because she's this frail thing. | ||
| And if you leg whipped her, you would have taken her legs clear off like a helicopter blade. | ||
| I was belly laughing for five minutes. | ||
| You were leg whipping this. | ||
| Leg kicker. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't think I would have said whip. | ||
| I thought you said, okay, excuse me. | ||
| Well, you gotta... | ||
| You can't let someone punch you. | ||
| The real problem is like someone could really damage... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Even a girl? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I saw you in the parking lot. | ||
| It really hurt your eye. | ||
| That clip of you in the parking lot. | ||
| I have a permanent dent in my face. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can see it. | ||
| I have a permanent dent. | ||
| I don't know if she had a ring on. | ||
| Really? | ||
| There's a little dent there. | ||
| Yeah, she probably had a ring on. | ||
| Yeah, someone could hit you in the eye. | ||
| I never went down, Joe. | ||
| Good for you. | ||
| That would have been embarrassing. | ||
| You could lose your vision. | ||
| I mean, that's 100% possible. | ||
| Happens to people all the time. | ||
| I had a slight concussion. | ||
| She really fucking caught me flush. | ||
| I'm not shocked, especially if you didn't know it was coming. | ||
| What would you have done? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I hope I wouldn't have done what I think I would do. | ||
| I know, because you could lose a lot of... | ||
| I know you get insurance for that. | ||
| The real problem is when you're not thinking. | ||
| When you get hit and then you immediately respond. | ||
| That's a real problem. | ||
| Because, look, you've seen that video of that giant 6'5 guy who punched that 11-year-old girl in the face? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| She had it coming. | ||
| Well, she definitely shouldn't have walked up to him with her fists up, and she definitely shouldn't have pushed him first, but he definitely shouldn't have punched her in the face, his big, giant fucking guy. | ||
| I know. | ||
| With a nice shot. | ||
| You don't want to punch a girl. | ||
| You don't want to hit a girl. | ||
| And I didn't. | ||
| You don't want to go into that reptilian part of your brain, either, that just responds to being assaulted. | ||
| Oh, that was killed after I got married. | ||
| It's very dangerous. | ||
| I saw you, remember that clip years ago, you in the parking lot at the comedy store arguing with some bride. | ||
| Oh, that feminist lady. | ||
| She was just mean. | ||
| I thought you were going to... | ||
| Oh, they're all. | ||
| I was trying to be nice to her. | ||
| They're the meanest people on the earth. | ||
| I was nice to that lady for a long time until she's finally telling me she's going to hit me with her cigarette. | ||
| I'm like, listen, you're not doing anything. | ||
| I know! | ||
| I was watching and going, what's going to happen next? | ||
| It's just so stupid that people think they can get away with things like that. | ||
| Well, they can, apparently. | ||
| If you were alone in a parking lot with that girl, and she punched you in the face like that... | ||
| What if I even fucking croaked her there? | ||
| I said this, and I've been making this point. | ||
| You want true gender equality? | ||
| If we had it, I could have fucking knocked her the fuck out. | ||
| And everybody went, you know what? | ||
| She had it coming. | ||
| We all went home. | ||
| But that's not the world we're living in right now. | ||
| You showed amazing restraint in not hitting her back. | ||
| Because I wasn't drinking. | ||
| And what if you were drinking? | ||
| I would have probably wrestled her. | ||
| At least cuffed her? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've been in two fights. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I would have gave her. | ||
| From behind though, a dirty one. | ||
| Oh, a dirty one. | ||
| I would have came from here. | ||
| You ever see that video? | ||
| There's a kid, a black kid walking down the street and some black neighbor and he's rapping or some shit and this black kid walks up from behind like in a wife beater and winds up from his asshole with an open hand. | ||
| It would blow your ears out if you had the headphones. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| But I was proud of myself. | ||
| And that's why I was laughing after the incident. | ||
| People I know who've been telling me, you know, cool or whatever, you should keep your... | ||
| They were all like, yeah, shut up, fucking body slap. | ||
| My aunt's like, you should have fucked her up. | ||
| I was so proud of myself for once that I was, you know, I was the adult in the room. | ||
| And I, you know, I know in the times we're living in, It wouldn't matter the circumstance. | ||
| Toxic masculinity, if I croaked her... | ||
| Well, I don't know, man. | ||
| If somebody punches you and you punch them back, I don't know what the fucking rules are about that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I do. | |
| I mean, she's obviously very small. | ||
| That would have been a real problem, because she's small. | ||
| But you shouldn't be fucking hitting people. | ||
| Now, you said you were working on it? | ||
| You're still in the middle of it? | ||
| What's going on with it? | ||
| Yes, I... I'm pursuing it, and they... | ||
| It's just so... | ||
| You can tell they don't give a fuck. | ||
| The DA was a woman in that county, and now she's off the case for some reason. | ||
| They shuffled the... | ||
| But they went... | ||
| It should be assault or aggravated or something, but of course you can't go, because if you don't get that, I can't sue her civilly. | ||
| If I lost that, it would hurt my case. | ||
| At least that's the logic they were telling me. | ||
| So they're trying to get her with second-degree harassment, and now there's a new woman on the case, and she said, They're making her go to, you know, anger management because she has mental issues. | ||
| And I'm not looking for money. | ||
| I just want to make an example of her. | ||
| So why not pursue it as assault? | ||
| It's clearly assault. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Well, you tell me. | ||
| So is your lawyer's decision to not pursue it that way? | ||
| No. | ||
| First of all, nobody wanted to take the case because I'm fine. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They're like, your sight's not fucked up, you're not in a wheelchair, you're not, but yeah. | ||
| I give lawyers credit for that much. | ||
| They're honest. | ||
| It's all about the money. | ||
| But that's crazy. | ||
| But I found a guy, this guy Andrew Funk, who's a lawyer, who was a Marine. | ||
| And I said, he contacted me and he put me in touch first with a Russian woman who took about three of my calls and she got tired because there was no money involved. | ||
| And he hooked me up with another guy, another lawyer who right now I'm dealing with. | ||
| Yeah, they were all right up front that if there's no money involved and you're not permanently, you're not going to, you know. | ||
| But I don't want money. | ||
| And this guy sort of agreed with me. | ||
| This Andrew Funk guy is a Marine. | ||
| He just wants to make an example. | ||
| She said I was racist and sexist, you know. | ||
| So I just want to make an example. | ||
| I'm not looking for money, but it's her father that really pisses me off. | ||
| She's nuts. | ||
| How old is she? | ||
| This broad's nuts. | ||
| Like 20, 21. Goes to school in upstate New York. | ||
| So she's not that nuts. | ||
| She lives on her own. | ||
| But it's the fucking old man. | ||
| That was complicit in it. | ||
| I think he actually used her as a weapon that night. | ||
| It seems like it would be way harder to prove that he was complicit than it would be to prove that she punched you. | ||
| No, I agree. | ||
| Did she apologize ever? | ||
| Never. | ||
| She ran up into the lobby, which is normally where you take pictures with fans, and she put her head on the table and was crying after she realized what she'd done or whatever. | ||
| You know, they took her to like a psychiatric hospital. | ||
| So they're saying, well, you know, so I just want to make an example of her. | ||
| That's all. | ||
| I don't, I'm not looking for, but, you know, that's ridiculous. | ||
| And the next time, I will hit back. | ||
| You think? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Don't. | ||
| No? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Wait a minute, Joe. | ||
| You're confusing me now. | ||
| It's too little. | ||
| Well, give me a kick that would just hurt her ovaries. | ||
| Oh, freeze. | ||
| All three of them. | ||
| Go for a knee. | ||
| Go for a knee. | ||
| Knee to the pussy. | ||
| It would be how you damage the ovaries. | ||
| I don't want to lose my knee. | ||
| I just would say don't hit her. | ||
| I'm not going to hit her. | ||
| I wasn't raised that way. | ||
| Even in the future, if somebody does that. | ||
| No, I'm not. | ||
| I would never. | ||
| Stabbing or gun. | ||
| You prove it, because you haven't done it. | ||
| You didn't do it. | ||
| You had the ultimate opportunity. | ||
| Somebody actually hit you, and you didn't hit them back. | ||
| It's one of my proudest moments. | ||
| Yeah, you should be proud of that. | ||
| Do you ever get into it with a fan or somebody in the audience? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I've been in it twice. | ||
| One time at the comic store, a guy threw a drink at me. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| And how did you restrain yourself? | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| I essentially invited him to get killed. | ||
| How'd you do that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
| Come on up here. | ||
| Come on up here. | ||
| I'll show you what's up. | ||
| Who would fucking throw a drink at you? | ||
| Some asshole. | ||
| There's him and his dad. | ||
| They were heckling everybody before the show. | ||
| Before I got on stage, rather. | ||
| They were heckling everybody. | ||
| This was a long time ago. | ||
| It was probably 2003, 2004. But he knows who you are, and he knows you're... | ||
| Yeah, he's just a pussy. | ||
| He just threw it my way, you know? | ||
| He wanted to get famous. | ||
| Well, he didn't even want to get famous. | ||
| There was no social media back then. | ||
| Not to speak of. | ||
| People weren't getting famous or things like that. | ||
| He's just a drunk asshole who was interrupting comedy. | ||
| And the comedy store back then had zero protection. | ||
| There was no crowd room. | ||
| No crowd control at all. | ||
| But, yeah, it's an issue with people. | ||
| They're drinking, right? | ||
| And especially if you get crazy people that are drinking, weird stuff can happen. | ||
| It's unfortunate. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's just, you know, people that don't have respect for performers, too. | ||
| They don't have respect for what you're doing, that it's difficult. | ||
| And if they disagree with you, they think they're disagreeing, even if it's just a joke. | ||
| They don't even know where the joke is going. | ||
| They'll interrupt, and they'll yell stuff out. | ||
| And they've just no regard for the forum that you're in, the fact that there's hundreds of other people that are there to see you. | ||
| It's about their mind and their selfish notion that they want to get out right away. | ||
| And they have no idea how little it takes to throw off the balance of the room. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Just a slight confrontation. | ||
| Just telling somebody to shut up, and all of a sudden, like, you're the bad guy. | ||
| And a lot of times, it's somebody right up front, so they can't hear. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And then it looks like you're just scolding somebody for no reason. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I've had that, too. | ||
| And I'm super sensitive. | ||
| Somebody farts in the 52nd row, I can hear it, or whatever. | ||
| I am. | ||
| I just have that, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, well, you know, you're tuning into the crowd. | |
| No, exactly. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I mean, because you do. | ||
| You study what's going on. | ||
| You read their faces and whatnot, and I'm really good at it. | ||
| And if I see one person laughing out of 600, I'm not laughing. | ||
| Yeah, you've always been like that. | ||
| No, but I fixed it. | ||
| I fixed it years ago. | ||
| Well, after about 12 clubs, I said, listen, you've got to stop doing that. | ||
| But you know what? | ||
| I am so much better. | ||
| And not hitting her proved it. | ||
| Now, I had a brawl breakout that had nothing to do with me at Gotham a couple years ago. | ||
| What was it about? | ||
| Two tables were fighting amongst each other. | ||
| Oh, I heard about this. | ||
| It was hilarious. | ||
| Talk about hitting a girl. | ||
| I just stood on the stage. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I felt like Lenny Bruce. | ||
| Comics have a lot of punk in us, you know. | ||
| But I didn't start this. | ||
| A fucking brawl breaks out. | ||
| I'm watching it. | ||
| Two tables, girls and guys involved. | ||
| There's a girl in the middle with her fists up like she took three fucking Tybo classes. | ||
| Tybo classes. | ||
| And she takes a swing and hits one of the bouncers. | ||
| I watch this other bouncer come across the room. | ||
| And drop her like a fucking used rubber. | ||
| I mean, hit her like she was a guy. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I don't know how this guy didn't do jail time. | ||
| But these broads, this is what this feminist movement has taken them. | ||
| Now they jump in. | ||
| Every time you see a fight at a football game, the stands is women involved and shit. | ||
| They really fucking think... | ||
| I'm sorry, but legislation, you can't fucking legislate the DNA out of us. | ||
| And they're always in the middle of it. | ||
| You notice that? | ||
| A lot of fucking broads think they can duke it out now? | ||
| Well, there are a bunch that have a delusional idea. | ||
| Not all, but yeah. | ||
| Yeah, they've seen too many Wonder Woman movies. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| They've been brainwashed. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of people in general that think they could go around punching people. | ||
| Like, how about all these Antifa dorks that are starting fights? | ||
| Yeah, at least show your face. | ||
| Well, they're not like that. | ||
| They're starting fights with people and they have zero idea how to fight. | ||
| They're swinging at people. | ||
| Did you see the one guy? | ||
| A guy swings at this guy with a bat or with a baton. | ||
| The guy catches the baton and punches him in the face and KOs him. | ||
| And his head snaps back and his head bounces off the concrete when he falls down. | ||
| It's awful to watch. | ||
| Like, what the fuck made you think you could just hit a man with a stick because you guys disagree with each other? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you're right, when they interview them after, a lot of times, not even after a fight, but they interview some of these Antifa, they sound almost swishy, some of them. | ||
| Swishy, like homosexual? | ||
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
| No, I wouldn't go that far. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Weak. | |
| Feminine. | ||
| Well, they want to become a... | ||
| Look, Antifa is just like any other group of people. | ||
| They give you a community, whether it's a gang, or whether it's a criminal organization, or whatever it is. | ||
| People... | ||
| Organization and then you do what you can to support that organization to show that you're a valued member And then you know you start wearing the fucking ski masks and hitting people with sticks and everybody's Practicing karate in the park because you think they're gonna be able to defend themselves The whole thing is for ridiculous, but because their life has no value outside of it Well, isn't it weird to you that, look, my parents were hippies, and when I grew up, I always thought that people on the left were peace-loving. | ||
| That was what the knock was. | ||
| They were peace-loving, well-educated. | ||
| But you're seeing now people on the left, like these certain factions of them, not all of them, but people that are calling for violence. | ||
| They're violent pacifists, ironically. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Well, they don't want to do it themselves, but they're calling for other people to do it. | ||
| They're calling for people to get punched. | ||
| Like that kid with the MAGA hat, like Reza Aslan wrote, have you ever seen a more punchable face? | ||
| What the fuck are you saying, man? | ||
| You know, it's like this extreme lack of empathy for young people, too. | ||
| Like young people that don't fall in line with their ideas, they don't give a fuck. | ||
| They're like, fuck that kid, punch him, throw him in jail, lock him up. | ||
| It's just like, there's a lack of empathy and a lack of thought behind it. | ||
| And social media is only throwing gas on that. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And then you've got these Russian accounts that are firing this up on both sides, that are attacking from the left and the right. | ||
| I think that's a way bigger issue than people think. | ||
| I think these troll farms and these people that are setting up these fake accounts and just getting people riled up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| I think there's a lot of fucking lemmings out there, and a lot of people just fall into these arguments. | ||
| How many people do you know that get involved in Twitter arguments, and then they stew with those arguments all day? | ||
| They keep checking their mentions. | ||
| They get heavily involved in that. | ||
| If someone can get you involved in that, like if the Russians can get a group of dummies involved in that kind of dispute, they could literally change the way people are interacting with each other. | ||
| They're making the interactions more aggressive, more violent. | ||
| So you think it's the Russian? | ||
| I think it has something to do with it. | ||
| I think there's a polarization between the left and the right, period. | ||
| But I think they are definitely... | ||
| They're throwing gas on it. | ||
| Yeah, this thing that I was reading, or listening to, rather, this Sam Harris podcast, very fucking interesting, because they're talking about what we actually know about the data and where it's coming from and how these people are doing this and how they're setting these things up. | ||
| Yeah, that guy, the comic that you and I talked about... | ||
| Again, that clip of this Russian who's a former KGB guy who defected to this country, explaining how it works. | ||
| Looking back in the 80s. | ||
| Explaining exactly how it works. | ||
| And what he was saying, this is 30-something years ago, 35 years ago, is going down exactly the way he explained it. | ||
| And Putin is a KGB guy. | ||
| Oh, Christchurch. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, that's... | ||
| This idea that Trump's working with him is fucking silly. | ||
| Well, I don't know about that. | ||
| I don't think he's working with them to undermine democracy, but I definitely think they've got some business dealings. | ||
| I mean, they were offering him the Trump... | ||
| Well, yes, but that's not illegal. | ||
| ...the penthouse and Trump power. | ||
| That's not illegal. | ||
| None of that is illegal. | ||
| Don't take that from me. | ||
| Take that from Alan Dershowitz. | ||
| I don't... | ||
| He's smarter than both of us. | ||
| I'm not saying it's illegal, but I don't think that he was honest about that. | ||
| He said, I don't do any dealings with Russia, I don't have any business with Russia, and he definitely did. | ||
| That's just not true. | ||
| Well, we'll see. | ||
| We'll see? | ||
| That's with the targeting. | ||
| They're not going to get him for anything. | ||
| You don't think so? | ||
| No. | ||
| You think he's going to just... | ||
| Well, maybe impeachment, but I don't even know what they get him, high crimes and misdemeanors. | ||
| I don't know what he's done. | ||
| To talk about building a tower in Moscow is not illegal, or to have business. | ||
| And what did he lie about specifically? | ||
| Well, there's a lot. | ||
| Like what? | ||
| We could pull it up. | ||
| Let's find out all the things. | ||
| What, are you going to go to salon.com? | ||
| No, you can go to a million different websites. | ||
| Well, I know, but which ones are telling the good independent website? | ||
| We just established that the fucking social media tilts left, so. | ||
| Yes, social media does. | ||
| We're not talking about pulling up social media pages. | ||
| What are you pulling up? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm not a Trump scholar. | ||
| I don't have at my disposal all the different times that he lied, but it's a lot. | ||
| So what do you think is going to happen to him? | ||
| You think he'll impeach him, you mean? | ||
| No. | ||
| Or he'll resign, or what? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Look, I'm not claiming to be any sort of an expert in legal proceedings. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| Me either. | ||
| That's why I quoted Dershowitz. | ||
| Yeah, I think... | ||
| Well, isn't Dershowitz working with Trump? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No! | ||
| Giuliani is. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Dershowitz is the... | ||
| I always go to Dershowitz because he's a fucking lib. | ||
| Trump averaged 15 inaccuracies in mistruths a day in 2018. Almost triple the rate from a year before. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| But hold on a second. | ||
| What's the independent... | ||
| Inaccuracies in mistruths. | ||
| It's a European paper. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But isn't that a little odd? | ||
| 15 a day? | ||
| No, because I don't know who's making that claim. | ||
| I don't know the exact 15 inaccuracies. | ||
| You doubt that it's true? | ||
| You think it's all a lie? | ||
| That it just made up the fact that he lies a lot? | ||
| First of all, it's a definition of a lie. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's see. | |
| It says, Washington Post, who they hate, Jeff Bezos, said the president made 1,989 such claims in 2018. By the last day of 2018, 2017. That's my point. | ||
| But let's see what it says. | ||
| I mean, they can't lie. | ||
| The total figure has risen to 7,600. | ||
| So you think they just made up all these lies? | ||
| Not all of them, I'm sure. | ||
| But you could go back with Hillary and fucking count. | ||
| You could go to Fox News and then pull up an article of how many times Hillary was inaccurate. | ||
| Do you know what a whataboutism is? | ||
| A whataboutism? | ||
| Yeah, when someone talks about something, and instead of refuting it with facts, they go, yeah, well, what about Hillary? | ||
| What about Bill? | ||
| Bill did it, too. | ||
| What about this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What about that? | |
| That's a whataboutism. | ||
| That's what I just committed? | ||
| That was a whataboutism. | ||
| Because you were saying that Hillary lied. | ||
| We both agree. | ||
| But you're making my point. | ||
| You're going to the Washington Post. | ||
| Okay, well, that's just Jamie pulled up the Independent. | ||
| We could go anywhere. | ||
| But hold on a second. | ||
| Look, I'm with you. | ||
| I think Hillary's a liar. | ||
| I think she deleted 30,000 emails. | ||
| I think it's criminal. | ||
| I think the Clinton Foundation's a fucking fully illegal organization. | ||
| I think they rigged the DNC. I think they rigged the primaries against Bernie. | ||
| I'm with you. | ||
| I'm not a supporter. | ||
| No, I'm not saying you are, but when's the last time somebody made a statement like that? | ||
| And said this many inaccuracies when Bill Clinton was in office. | ||
| I don't think he lied as much. | ||
| Or Hillary or whatever. | ||
| I'm sure there were some inaccuracies. | ||
| But first of all, when Bill Clinton was in office, they weren't... | ||
| Did they count Obama's? | ||
| I don't know, but that's a whataboutism. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| We're just talking about Trump. | ||
| You were saying that Trump doesn't lie. | ||
| And they're saying he lies thousands and thousands of times. | ||
| I'm not saying he doesn't lie. | ||
| First of all... | ||
| Well, you said, what does he lie about? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| First of all, you know, I like to know the definition of a lie. | ||
| If he misstates something... | ||
| Do you think he does it accidentally? | ||
| I'm sure sometimes when you're talking that much... | ||
| Okay, so if he lies 1,900 times in a day... | ||
| Give me an example of a blatant... | ||
| Yeah, that's fucking... | ||
| It's Washington Post. | ||
| It's horseshit. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I do. | ||
| I watch it all. | ||
| You think it's all lies? | ||
| Not all of it. | ||
| He's a... | ||
| No, he's a bullshitter for sure. | ||
| Joe, would you argue that they haven't been trying to take him down since he came down that fucking escalator? | ||
| How about the deep state? | ||
| How about the fucking dossier? | ||
| Wait, what does that mean? | ||
| The dossier. | ||
| What dossier? | ||
| The fake dossier, Christopher Steele, that they used to get the Pfizer application. | ||
| Explain to people what you're talking about. | ||
| I just did. | ||
| They know what I'm talking about. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| They don't. | ||
| They don't, because I don't know. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| The dossier. | ||
| The fake dossier. | ||
| Do you know what he's talking about? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You have to know this. | ||
| You're being willfully ignorant. | ||
| No, I don't know. | ||
| Nick, I don't know. | ||
| Okay, I'm explaining. | ||
| Hold on a second. | ||
| Do you know? | ||
| I've heard. | ||
| These are terms I've heard, yes. | ||
| But you don't know the full extent. | ||
| Well, this is what I'm talking about. | ||
| This is as big a story as anything Trump has done. | ||
| What is the story? | ||
| The Steele dossier that Hillary... | ||
| You had to get an application to the FISA courts. | ||
| They used DNC opposition. | ||
| Christopher Steele, who's a British guy, had connections in Russia. | ||
| Remember when they said Trump was at a hotel and watching girls peeing on each other? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| That was all in the Steele dossier. | ||
| Christopher Steele is his name. | ||
| They used that in their application to get a FISA warrant to spy on Trump. | ||
| During his campaign. | ||
| That's fact. | ||
| That's not me being a right winger. | ||
| That is fact. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But the fact that... | |
| That you don't know that. | ||
| No, I remember that now. | ||
| Oh, that's what I'm talking about. | ||
| That's the biggest story as Trump, you know, lying about the number of people at his inauguration. | ||
| I want to know a lie from Trump that's equal in power as like when Obama said, you know, lied about health care, that you could keep your health care and all that. | ||
| Give me an example of Trump with that big of a lie. | ||
| Well, listen, I told you. | ||
| He does lie. | ||
| I'm not saying he doesn't. | ||
| All presidents lie. | ||
| All politicians lie. | ||
| I'm just saying they start to count it when Trump took over. | ||
| They started keeping statistics. | ||
| Well, because it's so egregious. | ||
| Like what? | ||
| Give me an example. | ||
| Like, look, we just showed you all the numbers of the Washington Post provider. | ||
|
unidentified
|
From the Washington Post! | |
| So, if I give you another example, you're going to say, oh, that's from this, or that's from that. | ||
| If you go to Salon.com. | ||
| Well, we won't go to Salon.com. | ||
| We've gotten more done than any other administration, okay? | ||
| This is a lie, so true, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| See, now, if somebody says that's a lie... | ||
| Let's see what it says. | ||
| Jamie, go back to it. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| But who's saying that's a lie? | ||
| Well, let's see. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's see. | |
| Let's see what it says. | ||
| Jesus Christ, you're so defensive. | ||
| It's like, do you work for the organization? | ||
| No, I don't, but you're putting... | ||
| I'm saying what it's... | ||
| I'm in the Washington Post. | ||
| No, this isn't the Washington Post. | ||
| Well, what is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is NBC. Oh, the NBC! Okay, NBC. Okay, so everything is bad. | |
| Look, man, I'm just reading what's in front of me. | ||
| I know, and I'm just... | ||
| But you're so emotional about this. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| Oh, I have four cups of coffee in me, Joe. | ||
| We should have had two. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huh? | |
| Oh, please. | ||
| You know I'm right. | ||
| I don't know you're right. | ||
| That's what we're talking about this. | ||
| Are you going to tell me you don't know that the mainstream media hates Trump? | ||
| They do. | ||
| I do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I agree. | |
| Why would you put your fucking... | ||
| Because I want to know whether or not they are saying... | ||
| Stop doing that, Jamie. | ||
| Go back to where it was. | ||
| It says Trump later said that he intended the UN moment to garner a laugh that has repeated this claim seriously since. | ||
| Okay, so he says that my administration has accomplished more than almost any administration in the history of the country. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So this falls into him being a bullshitter. | |
| That's an exaggeration. | ||
| That's hyperbole. | ||
| Right, and people were laughing when he said that. | ||
| So he was saying that he meant to say it as a laugh. | ||
| There are varying measures of success, but it's not true that his administration has been more successful than any other administration in history. | ||
| When it comes to legislation, Trump has signed plenty of bills in his first two years as president, but Barack Obama in his first two years has significantly more. | ||
| Signed significantly more. | ||
| Okay, this is just one thing. | ||
| I mean, I'm sure there's many, many other things that you can keep going over and over again. | ||
| I'm with you in that. | ||
| I'm not saying he's not a bullshitter, but I'm just saying all of a sudden they keep score. | ||
| Because it's a fun thing to keep score because he lies so much. | ||
| It's a fun thing for them. | ||
| Who is keeping score when fucking Hillary was Secretary of State? | ||
| Well, it's a different thing when someone's Secretary of State. | ||
| And I don't know how much she lied as opposed to how much he lied. | ||
| Her lies are a lot bigger. | ||
| About her fucking server and about the Steele dossier. | ||
| That is huge. | ||
| That is getting undercovered like nobody's been... | ||
| That dwarfs Watergate. | ||
| When they unmasked General Flynn... | ||
| That dwarfs Watergate. | ||
| That's an interesting conversation. | ||
| I don't know if that's the truth. | ||
| I don't know enough about Watergate. | ||
| And I don't know enough about that either. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Is it the coffee going on here? | ||
| Well, yeah, I'm fucking strung out. | ||
| Since when do you get afraid of an emotional guy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm fucking nuts. | |
| It's not emotional, it's just... | ||
| But you're acting as if I'm against you, and I'm not. | ||
| You're not against me. | ||
| Even if you were, that would be fine. | ||
| You're not against me, but I'm just saying to call Trump a bigger lie than every other politician is an exaggeration. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| By the mainstream media who hates his guts. | ||
| I think most politicians are liars. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| I think they're accustomed to doing that, but I think the way he lies is unusual. | ||
| I think the numbers are unusual. | ||
| It's just an unusual... | ||
| You don't think so? | ||
| He exaggerates. | ||
| Statements like that is an exaggeration. | ||
| Although he did do a lot in his first couple years. | ||
| Would never get credit for it. | ||
| Unless you watch Fox News. | ||
| Would you agree that as you get older you become more conservative? | ||
| No, I was always a bit of a dick. | ||
| I got a tattoo of Nixon on my ass. | ||
| Hold on, let me show you. | ||
| I thought it was for... | ||
| Yes, no, I would say that was... | ||
| What do they say about if you're young and conservative, you have no soul? | ||
| No heart, and if you're old and liberal, you have no mind. | ||
| Yeah, something like that. | ||
| Yeah, I would say... | ||
| That's true, but I could always detect the bullshit. | ||
| I mean, I remember watching CNN in an airport when I first started comedy, and that's like 1988, and getting excited at some of the shit. | ||
| Well, it's interesting because I don't disagree with you on everything, and I love you as a person. | ||
| You're a great guy. | ||
| I like you a lot. | ||
| I'm always happy to see you. | ||
| But yet, you and I here get a little heated talking about this stuff. | ||
| But this is politics. | ||
| This is how divisive politics are. | ||
| Even a person like me... | ||
| I would never leave here going, I don't want to do that show again. | ||
| No, no, I'm sure. | ||
| I think this is great. | ||
| We've known each other for 30 years. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's not the problem. | ||
| What I'm saying is, I'm just using it as an example of how divisive politics are. | ||
| Oh, absolutely. | ||
| When people talk about things. | ||
| But I'm not afraid of it. | ||
| No. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| A lot of people are, right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm not afraid of it. | ||
| A lot of people are afraid of bad vibes and bad feelings. | ||
| Yes, they are. | ||
| But this is one of the things that makes people toe the line. | ||
| Right. | ||
| the fear of this kind of altercation, the fear of this kind of, like, you don't want that from inside your party, so you start using they and them, you start thinking that everyone should be able to use any bathroom that they feel like they identify with, you start going along the line. | ||
| It's one of the more interesting things about politics, is that if you tell me that you're a Republican, and I can kind of guess your stance on God, I can kind of guess your stance on being pro-life, pro-choice, Second Amendment rights, it's like all those things sort of fall in line, and it's very interesting. | ||
| It's very interesting how you sort of adopt, not you, but people, sort of adopt a whole group of things when you decide you're a Republican, you decide you're a Democrat. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I don't, but see, I don't think I fall into that. | ||
| How do you feel about guns? | ||
| Do you got any of them? | ||
| What? | ||
| Got any guns? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How many you got? | ||
| One. | ||
| Just one? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm not a big gun guy. | ||
| As far as abortion... | ||
| I don't want to say pro-choice, but I'm not pro-life. | ||
| One of the big reasons is, like, I got a dad who's dying of Alzheimer's, watching him. | ||
| It's the saddest thing. | ||
| If I could kill him tomorrow and put him out of his misery, I would. | ||
| I think you could take him to Oregon. | ||
| There's states that allow that. | ||
| There's states that allow people to... | ||
| Can I go over state lines with them? | ||
| Is it like taking a teenage girl over state lines? | ||
| No, there was a girl who was dying of cancer who went to Oregon for that very reason. | ||
| Oregon is one of those... | ||
| I might be saying it wrong, but I think... | ||
| The idea is a right to a dignified death. | ||
| No, you're right. | ||
| Just right about it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look, man, the idea that you're supposed to just keep staying alive until your fucking heart stops beating when you're in horrible pain, it's evil. | ||
| Don't do it to your dog. | ||
| I had to put my dog down. | ||
| Okay, I love this dog. | ||
| I've had him for 13 years. | ||
| I had to put him down because he couldn't walk anymore. | ||
| What did you do, chuck him up? | ||
| I brought him to a place. | ||
| They actually came to my house, actually, and they put him down. | ||
| Sad shit, but you can't do that for a 98-year-old man who's falling apart. | ||
| You have to let him eventually stop breathing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Which is sad. | ||
| All the rights you go out the window, that should be your first right. | ||
| It's your goddamn life. | ||
| So that's why I couldn't be like pro-life or whatever. | ||
| And I got girls pregnant when I was younger, and I was glad there was a Planned Parenthood, whatever it was. | ||
| The guy in the alley with the stick. | ||
| I think his name was Dave. | ||
| But in showbiz, Joe, you know how it is in showbiz, because it's a pretty liberal business. | ||
| If you're right on two of ten issues, you're like a fucking Nazi. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I get called alt-right adjacent. | ||
| It's my favorite. | ||
| Oh my God, they keep coming up with... | ||
| Well, you can't call me alt-right because I'm pretty left-wing on most things. | ||
| So they call me alt-right adjacent. | ||
| Probably because I have people like you on. | ||
| Now I'm going to be more alt-right adjacent. | ||
| Isn't that silly? | ||
| You have me on to, you know, your listeners probably, you know, like, you're like, listen to this guy. | ||
| I don't agree with anything. | ||
| That should be a feather in your cap and they're going to hold that against you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which is silly. | ||
| Well... | ||
| You know, it's not rational, but again, it's people trying to have an effect on you. | ||
| They're trying to have an effect. | ||
| They're trying to make some waves, trying to do something. | ||
| They're writing blogs or creating videos, but they're doing it to try to put pressure on you. | ||
| It's interesting, though. | ||
| It's weird from a psychological perspective. | ||
| You're looking at it from the outside. | ||
| It's disconcerting when it's happening to you, but when you step back and look at it, it's interesting. | ||
| It's like these systems are opposing each other, and they're trying to figure out where the weaknesses are and how to push to affect the other side. | ||
| And it's not just left-right. | ||
| It's bigger than that. | ||
| What was the book I read? | ||
| What's the place where they go to meet every year? | ||
| Bohemian Grove? | ||
| Bilderberg Group? | ||
| Bilderberg Group. | ||
| That was one of my favorite books, The Truth About the Bilderberg Group. | ||
| And what goes on there and the powerful people that meet. | ||
| And people always say, there's probably ten guys in a room that run the whole fucking... | ||
| Well, okay, but just show me them. | ||
| Until then, I'll stay in the left-right fight and have fun. | ||
| Right. | ||
| The idea is that there's ten guys that control everything and they don't give a fuck if it's left or right. | ||
| They're just about money. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The Rockefellers were involved. | ||
| But it's weird. | ||
| That was really creepy. | ||
| They planned shit out decades ahead. | ||
| Yeah, they planned it on education. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Decades ahead, though. | ||
| And it comes true. | ||
| They write a sitcom script that lasts for 15 years with plot points. | ||
| That book was incredible. | ||
| I can't remember the author's name. | ||
| But I don't mind. | ||
| I used to sit at that table at the Comedy Cellar. | ||
| That's how Tough Crowd came about. | ||
| Me and Patrice yelling at each other about racial shit. | ||
| Tough Cry was a great fucking show, but I really am worried that you couldn't have a show like that today. | ||
| I know. | ||
| You should be. | ||
| Now, let me ask you, and I'm not taking left, right, but who would be to blame for that? | ||
| That's why I lean right, and I think, and you do in some areas, you're an artist, you're a stand-up. | ||
| I cannot vote with a party that is for censorship. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And for groupthink. | ||
| Did we ever find out what's going on with Dennis Prager? | ||
| Did we get a line on that? | ||
| Is that still bothering you? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| It does bother me because I like the guy. | ||
| I don't agree with him on a lot of things, but he seems like a very nice guy and I like Adam. | ||
| I do, too. | ||
| Both those guys. | ||
| There's a lawsuit. | ||
| He's bringing a lawsuit that they think it's going to go a long way because they were labeling his show as hate speech. | ||
| Maybe it's back up or whatever, but I know that story. | ||
| You can find that anywhere. | ||
| There's a real concern that the ideologies behind these tech companies all go in one direction, and they have the overwhelming control of the narrative because of the fact that they're all... | ||
| Where we're getting all of our information, most people are getting it on their phones. | ||
| Most people are getting a lot of their media on their phones. | ||
| Netflix said something like 50% of the people that watch my special watch it on a phone. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| I mean, that's crazy. | ||
| So all this stuff is coming from these tech companies. | ||
| Doesn't that kind of bother you that it's the phone? | ||
| Because when I hear that, not that it matters with my specials, but... | ||
| When I picture somebody watching something on the phone, you don't have their full attention. | ||
| They're doing other things. | ||
| As opposed to sitting in front of their computer or the TV. They kind of bug you. | ||
| You put all that work into it, and they're on the subway watching it. | ||
| I don't pay attention to what I can't control. | ||
| I don't. | ||
| It makes me nuts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you've got to get over that. | |
| That's where the mushrooms come in. | ||
| You do love it. | ||
| I'm going to have to try those. | ||
| Try a little one. | ||
| I'll give you a little one. | ||
| Not today. | ||
| I've got to drive to San Diego. | ||
| Oh, it's perfect. | ||
| Me in traffic? | ||
| What time is your show? | ||
| I know, I'm fucking going to be... | ||
| What time is your show? | ||
| 7.30. | ||
| I pulled it up on Waze. | ||
| It says if I leave at 3, it's going to take four hours. | ||
| Oh, you better leave at 2 then. | ||
| It's almost 2. Are you kicking me out of here? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| What did I say wrong, Joe? | ||
| You didn't say anything wrong. | ||
| Was the coffee? | ||
| Did I get to cook? | ||
| I just drove there last week for Brendan Sharp's special. | ||
| He shot a Showtime special. | ||
| How long did it take? | ||
| It took me five and a half hours to get down there. | ||
| Took me fucking forever. | ||
| I thought you might be flying. | ||
| I was going to bring it up before the show. | ||
| I thought I saw you had a show there tonight. | ||
| My manager thought he was flying. | ||
| My manager thought he was doing me a favor. | ||
| Well, just pull it up in Google. | ||
| I'll wait up on Waze right now. | ||
| Yeah, well, Google will do it, too. | ||
| If you just Google... | ||
| I'm a Waze guy. | ||
| Where is the gig? | ||
| Where are you at? | ||
| Comedy Palace. | ||
| Hey, ladies, don't punch him. | ||
| Now you know where he is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don't show up and go, you motherfucker. | |
| You racist piece of shit. | ||
| You fucking sexist. | ||
| You hate women. | ||
| Feminism is not cancer. | ||
| Oh, it is. | ||
| It's a fucking, it's a uterine cancer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's the future. | |
| Females are the future. | ||
| The future's feminine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll take my life tonight if that's the case. | |
| Filthy whores. | ||
| Anyways, fucking hairy, thick-ankled girls who can't get laid and they turn their anger. | ||
| Some of them are pretty. | ||
| I haven't met a stripper who's a feminist yet. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| And I've talked to almost two of them in the last 40 years. | ||
| 3.45 right now. | ||
| Three hours and 45 minutes. | ||
| Three hours and 45 minutes. | ||
| About 6 o'clock if you look right now. | ||
| If you leave right now, you get there an hour before the show. | ||
| You kicking me out, Joe? | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| I think... | ||
| Don't make me come across the table. | ||
| What I'm nervous about, and I'm just being honest... | ||
| What I'm nervous about is that it's going to get exceedingly longer in the next hour. | ||
| Do you understand it's making me nervous that you're nervous? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because I was the one who was going to have to get out of here a little early. | |
| I thought you were going to go, you'll be fine. | ||
| You'll fucking get there. | ||
| Dude, I got down to San Diego on Saturday night. | ||
| I was delirious. | ||
| I'd been smoking in fucking fumes. | ||
| The fumes from the highway because everything was stop and go the whole way. | ||
| You still might want to try to catch a flight if you can. | ||
| The only thing that saved me was... | ||
| Oh, I'm not going to the fucking airport. | ||
| Run the Jewels. | ||
| I would rather walk. | ||
| Run the Jewels is the only thing that saved me. | ||
| Just rocking out my car. | ||
| It was a horrible drive. | ||
| Well, the whole world lives here, of course. | ||
| It's going to be horrible. | ||
| No. | ||
| The real Americans live in the middle, don't they? | ||
| Jesus Land? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Flyover states. | ||
| Where do you like to work? | ||
| Where's your favorite place to perform? | ||
| See, that's where I'm going to get you. | ||
| San Francisco. | ||
| I love San Francisco. | ||
| I'm kidding. | ||
| I haven't been there in years. | ||
| They loved me when I was in the competition. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why did they do? | |
| Because some people are happy that someone's bucking the trend. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Well, that's how it used to be. | ||
| But that's how left-wing and that fucking stupid dip turned into. | ||
| Bobby Slayton could have run for mayor of San Francisco, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Does he still play up there? | ||
| I have not seen Bobby. | ||
| They loved me. | ||
| I almost won that competition. | ||
| They had me at the punchline twice a year for like three years. | ||
| I love the punchline. | ||
| And then all of a sudden, you know, no go. | ||
| But I don't... | ||
| What's tough? | ||
| People always say, I bet you you killed down south in Atlanta. | ||
| No, those people, they all have guilt complexes about being racist and bigots, so when you do something off-color, they're laughing under their cowboy hats. | ||
| What about Cleveland? | ||
| Cleveland's a tough one for me. | ||
| They don't have, I don't know, my sarcasm's almost too Midwest for me. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Honest to God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| What about Columbus? | ||
| I don't do Columbus. | ||
| Why don't you do Columbus? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Artie Lang got in trouble for fucking doing black jokes there. | ||
| I don't do black jokes. | ||
| I'm just saying. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| So Artie Lang got in trouble there, so you're like, oh, scratch that one off the list. | ||
| It's too dangerous. | ||
| A black bouncer complained because he did a black joke. | ||
| I'm like, oh, that sounds like a great club. | ||
| Which club is this? | ||
| The Funny Bone? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a great fucking club. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I'll get there. | ||
| Get over there. | ||
| I will. | ||
| Go. | ||
| I'll get there. | ||
| No, because it's changed a lot since... | ||
| Well, I just said it because I thought it's... | ||
| I want to do small theaters, John. | ||
| I don't want to do clubs. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| I'm doing this to cover the cost of coming out here tonight. | ||
| And I'm doing Ventura Harbor Comedy Club because I... Oh, that's a good spot. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| That Chinese restaurant? | ||
| Well, no. | ||
| It's an actual club upstairs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's a Chinese restaurant. | ||
| It is not. | ||
| It's a comedy club. | ||
| I worked it. | ||
| What do you mean a Chinese restaurant? | ||
| It's connected to a Chinese restaurant. | ||
| Well, they have Chinese food there. | ||
| Oh, it's connected to a restaurant. | ||
| Well, don't make it sound like I'm standing in the kitchen. | ||
| I work there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I told you I work there, too. | |
| What the fuck? | ||
| It's a good spot. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| So I'm doing that Sunday night. | ||
| I'm not scared to work at a Chinese restaurant. | ||
| Is this coming up? | ||
| This is Dream Live, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| So Comedy Palace, I'm counting on it because I did no radio. | ||
| A bunch of girls are polishing their knuckles right now. | ||
| Good. | ||
| I'm fucking, I have two knives in my car. | ||
| Can I bring that samurai thing? | ||
| Can I bring that 1,500-year-old sword? | ||
| I want to give you some sort of protection. | ||
| I don't want to give you a weapon. | ||
| Oh, please. | ||
| I can do 12 deep knee bends. | ||
| Nobody's going to fuck with me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You look good, bro. | |
| Especially for no hormone replacement. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| I'm trying to get you on the sauce. | ||
| You don't think that's my first call? | ||
| Me? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'll hook you up. | ||
| I'll get you to a doctor. | ||
| They'll take care of you. | ||
| Figure out what your blood levels are at. | ||
| Get you on the right vitamins. | ||
| Can it be a doctor than me in New York, right? | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| There's a lot near you. | ||
| Gotta get you off of these, though. | ||
| Get you onto these. | ||
| What do you got there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Marijuana. | |
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| I heard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Scared of the marijuana. | |
| Doesn't it help you go to sleep or something? | ||
| Aren't you one of those guys? | ||
| No, I can't hear it. | ||
| Remember, I took one-eighth an edible. | ||
| It was like doing acid for me. | ||
| I was watching Bob Newhart, and all of a sudden I was in this fucking show, and it was in Black and Wife, and my wife was not my wife, and my house was not my house. | ||
| I got all this. | ||
| This is from a little bit of an edible. | ||
| Those are strong. | ||
| They're making them strong. | ||
| They're doing horrible things to people out here. | ||
| But now they have new rules where each edible has to be 10 milligrams, which is doable. | ||
| But, here's the thing. | ||
| Ain't nobody measuring those fucking things. | ||
| How about the CBD shit, Joe? | ||
| CBD's great. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I went into a bar in New York, and the bartender pushed it on me. | ||
| They were like, he had like a campaign going. | ||
| And the problem was, I had already had a couple drinks, so I couldn't tell, but I slept good when I took it. | ||
| Yeah, CBD's amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah? | |
| Yeah, some of it has a little bit of THC in it, but it's very little. | ||
| Most of it is very little, but it's really good for your joints and for aches and pains and inflammation and stuff like that. | ||
| For a lot of people, it's good for anxiety. | ||
| I don't have any of that. | ||
| I'm as cool as a cucumber. | ||
| Wow, amazing. | ||
| Even with the cigarettes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Amazing. | |
| That's what keeps me cool. | ||
| What about Texas? | ||
| Do you like work in Texas? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I've got to be honest. | ||
| I haven't been to these places in a while, but yes. | ||
| You don't go to Texas? | ||
| No, I did. | ||
| I was in Dallas. | ||
| And some of the jokes that make people cringe elsewhere were getting rounds of applause. | ||
| In Dallas. | ||
| Anytime I said Jew, just, you know, not in a hateful way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe you say Jew and it's not in a hateful way. | |
| It sounds hateful. | ||
| It does sound. | ||
| Isn't that weird? | ||
| Louie does a bit about that. | ||
| I used to ask Louie when we lived together. | ||
| I go, how come we first moved to New York? | ||
| I said, I hear people saying, yeah, he's a Jew or whatever, and nobody gets mad and stuff. | ||
| Because in Boston, if somebody said, yeah, that fucking Jew. | ||
| But Dallas was great for me. | ||
| Dallas is great. | ||
| Houston? | ||
| Houston's great. | ||
| Austin's great. | ||
| Texas is the shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Houston? | |
| I did an album in Houston. | ||
| Austin? | ||
| Did you do it at the Laugh Stop in River Oaks? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I did an album there. | ||
| Is it there no more? | ||
| No, it's there. | ||
| That was... | ||
| Apparently the building is still there. | ||
| What is it now? | ||
| They use it sometimes. | ||
| They'll have shows there sometimes, I think. | ||
| Someone had something there for a while. | ||
| I don't know the full story, but that was one of the greatest clubs ever. | ||
| Laugh Stop and River Oaks. | ||
| Remember that crazy dude was running it? | ||
| The fuck's his name? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The fuck's his name. | ||
| Bald guy? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Mark? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| He had an Italian last name, oddly enough. | ||
| Joey knew him real well. | ||
| Real well. | ||
| I forgot about that, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yes, and that was Bill Hicks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Place. | ||
| They had a fucking legit open mic mic, too. | ||
| Open mic in the fucking... | ||
| Yeah, in the front bar. | ||
| In the front bar. | ||
| And it was legit, like good comics. | ||
| I watched it. | ||
| I go, these kids are open mics. | ||
| Yeah, they were good. | ||
| Some about Houston, right? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Houston is a very eclectic city. | ||
| It's really different. | ||
| It's not what people think of when they think of Houston. | ||
| They think of cowboy hats and oil. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| It's very diverse. | ||
| It's very urban. | ||
| There's a lot of cool shit going on in Houston. | ||
| Very artistic. | ||
| I'm a big fan. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People always go, you must kill in Atlanta and shit. | ||
| I'm like, no. | ||
| They're PC. Cosmopolitan areas, for the most part. | ||
| Yeah, you don't kill in Atlanta? | ||
| Well, I kill if I want to. | ||
| But some of the stuff you think would kill, you know, it's like, even for us down here. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But, you know, Cosmopolitan areas is more, you know. | ||
| What about Phoenix? | ||
| Phoenix is a good spot. | ||
| Phoenix is good. | ||
| That's a great spot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's a few great spots. | ||
| If you didn't live in New York, where would you live? | ||
| For comedy purposes? | ||
| Yeah, for life and comedy. | ||
| For life and comedy? | ||
| Burlington, Vermont. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| No, I'm kidding. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If I could be up there with fucking Ben and Jerry, knocking on Bernie's door. | |
| Boy, it has to involve comedy. | ||
| Probably Texas. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My brother lived outside of Dallas and he loved it. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| Would you have money? | ||
| You could have seven castles. | ||
| Ooh, seven. | ||
| I don't want seven. | ||
| Too many to look after. | ||
| Folks, you should see the place where you're doing Joe's show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The gym outside. | ||
| That's a nice gym. | ||
| I like Texas. | ||
| I'm a big fan of Texas. | ||
| I'd live in Texas. | ||
| I think I'd live in Colorado first, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Weed? | ||
| Not just weed. | ||
| Mountains. | ||
| You like them, huh? | ||
| I love what it does for you. | ||
| There's something about being around mountains. | ||
| I was actually reading something about this. | ||
| There's an actual thing that happens to people when you're faced with immense natural beauty that it diminishes your ego and yourself and it puts people in a more spiritual perspective. | ||
| Being around mountains, it's humbling. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| You're around them. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| It's like the best looking art you could ever see. | ||
| It's like a gorgeous mountain with some green hills and the sun coming out of the clouds. | ||
| It's as good to look at as anything that's ever existed. | ||
| I'm not very religious. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I haven't made up my mind. | ||
| But when I see stuff like that is when I get kind of... | ||
| You want to make up your mind? | ||
| I got something right here for you. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Mushrooms? | ||
| That's what the mushrooms are. | ||
| I know! | ||
| That's exactly what they're for. | ||
| Come on, bro. | ||
| Just make up your money. | ||
| How about Joe? | ||
| Can you imagine if I took these and did the show before? | ||
| Just take a little one like this. | ||
| No, fuck that. | ||
| Nobody's got to get hurt. | ||
| Just a little one. | ||
| Jamie, would you do that? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Just a little one. | ||
| I don't want to be giggling in the car on the way down, throwing up on myself. | ||
| It'll be fine. | ||
| What's it do? | ||
| What's going to happen? | ||
| I want to get out of here before it takes effect. | ||
| It's going to get me in a fucking, some type of scissors lock. | ||
| It should be legal. | ||
| It's supposed to be legal everywhere. | ||
| I believe that. | ||
| It would make people mellow the fuck out, right? | ||
| It would. | ||
| Open that third eye, man. | ||
| It would do something really good for people. | ||
| The problem is you forget, you take it sometimes. | ||
| You know, like an hour and a half later, like, why am I so weak? | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah, I don't want to be that far in my own head. | ||
| That's scary. | ||
| Have you ever done the float tank? | ||
| No. | ||
| You want to do that? | ||
| Well, you can't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can't. | |
| I've got to float the fucking San Diego. | ||
| I should go down there on the raft like everybody else does. | ||
| Last time I ran into you... | ||
| I am so nervous that you get nervous about me making my show. | ||
| Do you understand? | ||
| Yeah, I think we're going to get you out of here in about 15 minutes. | ||
| That's what I think is the right move. | ||
| Is that alright? | ||
| Yeah, I think that's the right move. | ||
| Maybe 10? | ||
| You guys got me really fucking nervous now. | ||
| I wish I wasn't, but at least you have ways. | ||
| Ways will put you on some weird fucking funky backcountry routes that'll cut 20 minutes out of it. | ||
| I'll end up in Mexico. | ||
| You'll be fine. | ||
| Very close to Mexico, but super conservative. | ||
| That's what's interesting about San Diego. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know why? | |
| My first album, I did La Jolla. | ||
| Military. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's all military down there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Safe as fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe I'll have one of those guys at my show tonight. | ||
| People have said to me, like, where would you live? | ||
| Would you live in a military town? | ||
| Like, yes! | ||
| That's a good place to live. | ||
| You're going to have gyms, for sure. | ||
| You're definitely going to have gun ranges. | ||
| When you say that, does that when they throw you into the alt-right adjacent category? | ||
| Stuff like that. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, the American flag behind me probably contributes to that, too. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| How horrible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| You're a fucking extremist, Joe. | ||
| What next? | ||
| The Constitution? | ||
| Decolonizing. | ||
| That's one of my favorite things. | ||
| Decolonizing. | ||
| You've been paying attention to that expression. | ||
| People want to decolonize certain things. | ||
| Like what? | ||
| Oh, like hairstyles and shit. | ||
| Decolonize a hairstyle? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| There was a guy who got kicked off of a show. | ||
| Is he the mushrooms talking already? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| There was a guy who got kicked off of a show. | ||
| He was on a show, I think it was in Montreal, and he had dreadlocks on. | ||
| And it was this, he's apparently gender fluid, which I guess means... | ||
| I dabbled in that. | ||
| Yeah, you can go back and forth between being a man and a woman, but he does have dreadlocks. | ||
| And they kicked him off the show because he's a white guy with dreadlocks. | ||
| And he defended their position. | ||
| And one of the phrases they used was about decolonizing specific hairstyles. | ||
| And taking them away from white people and giving them back to the people. | ||
| Oh, that's sort of appropriation is what they're accusing me of. | ||
| Cultural appropriation. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hairstyles. | ||
| I'd like to go with dreads as a 57-year-old Italian guy. | ||
| You'd be weird. | ||
| You'd be weird with dreads. | ||
| I'd get famous just from that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That and a white goatee. | ||
| Colin Quinn says I should wear a black turtleneck with yellow lightning bolts and call myself Don Corrado. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| He's just being funny. | ||
| I heard he has an amazing new show. | ||
| That guy. | ||
| I watch him work it out, man. | ||
| It's all about politics. | ||
| It's about what we're talking about. | ||
| About Red vs. | ||
| Blitz. | ||
| So timely and shit. | ||
| He's a craftsman. | ||
| I watch him. | ||
| The Fat Black Pussycat. | ||
| I'd go on sometimes. | ||
| I'd have a show after his. | ||
| What is the Fat Black Pussycat? | ||
| You'd fucking love it. | ||
| It's right around the corner from the Comedy Cellar. | ||
| It's got a real bohemian feel to it. | ||
| People sitting in couches. | ||
| There's lamps. | ||
| It holds about 75 people. | ||
| Colin was, of course, quick enough and smart enough to say, I'm using this every night to work shit out. | ||
| And people know. | ||
| You can say, look, I'm only charging you $5. | ||
| Because I'm going to be working new stuff out. | ||
| But you would love it. | ||
| It's kind of a bohemian feel to it. | ||
| And they give you the door. | ||
| Not that that has anything to do with you. | ||
| But it's great. | ||
| You do an hour. | ||
| I smoke. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's so fun. | ||
| It's so... | ||
| Again, it's like 75 seats. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a little balcony. | |
| The fact that you do an hour is very attractive. | ||
| So New York has some weird little clubs, man. | ||
| It's really interesting how New York has it. | ||
| Because guys are just hopping around like that. | ||
| I never... | ||
| When I lived in New York, I could never afford to live in the city. | ||
| So I lived in New Rochelle, and when I did gigs, I was like, well, I could work in town and do 10 minutes or 15 minutes, or I could just go on the road and do a gig in Connecticut or do a gig in Jersey and make actual money. | ||
| And so I always did that. | ||
| So even when I lived in New York, I hardly ever worked in New York. | ||
| Yeah, I don't as much anymore. | ||
| I used to, you know, I used to go to the comedy cell every night, but Louis made that place world famous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's not, it used to be a room where you could work shit out and take your time, but now it's, you know, it's a fucking tourist. | ||
| It's packed, it's still a great club, but I feel like, you know, grow that. | ||
| I don't want to go on stage unless I'm doing at least... | ||
| 40 minutes. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I've got to get something done. | ||
| 15 minute sets, that's why I still do the Fat Black Pussycat, which is such a great thing. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nice little spot. | |
| And that looks big. | ||
| You know, it always looks bigger from a picture. | ||
| It's tiny. | ||
| That's from the balcony up there. | ||
| So is it like the belly room at the store? | ||
| It's smaller than that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Way smaller than that. | ||
| Way smaller than that. | ||
| The store is 70 people upstairs, so it's basically the same. | ||
| Oh, the one way up to me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The belly room. | |
| Yeah, yeah, the little one. | ||
| Not the original room. | ||
| I was thinking the original. | ||
| Yeah, I would say like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| You'd fucking love it. | ||
| And people are sitting in couches and shit. | ||
| It's really cool. | ||
| And Noam who runs, he couldn't be nicer. | ||
| And that's the only one I really do in the city. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm like you. | ||
| I'd rather go to Governor's or somewhere else and do some real time. | ||
| Governor's is a great club. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The other thing about doing clubs where there's a lot of people on, where you're only doing 15 minutes, the good thing about it is that it's not your crowd. | ||
| So you have to make people laugh that are there just to see comedy. | ||
| They're not just to see Nick DiPaolo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know how that happens to some guys? | ||
| They develop their crowd, and then they kind of lose their edge. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's scary, right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Last time I saw you on stage, I walked into Caroline's. | ||
| I was just in town for something, and you were on stage. | ||
| It was a late show. | ||
| And you were doing some fucking joke about Katrina. | ||
| A joke about Katrina that they spelled help wrong. | ||
| On the roof? | ||
| You know how many people die because they couldn't spell help? | ||
| Guy looking down from a helicopter and says, HEP. Yeah. | ||
| I said, if you want HEP, just step in that water you're standing there. | ||
| I was fucking crying laughing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, Nick is just still swinging from the hip the same way. | |
| That's my favorite, Joe. | ||
| That stage is still one of my favorites in the country. | ||
| I don't do Carolines. | ||
| Do you know the problem with Carolines, though, is when they reduce the stage down to the size of a fucking shoebox? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But you're absolutely right. | ||
| It's adjustable. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But on a Tuesday or Wednesday night with like 60, 70 people in there? | ||
| Oh, it's amazing. | ||
| It is my favorite. | ||
| I was so comfortable because I played it so much when I first moved to New York. | ||
| I could stay up there for three hours. | ||
| I got so much done. | ||
| I wrote half specials on that stage by doing like Tuesday nights for a year. | ||
| Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's where you get it done. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| Like 60 people in the crowd fucking around. | ||
| Isn't that not the fucking... | ||
| I did some little place up in Canada, Niagara Falls, the corner comedy club. | ||
| I'm in a real hole in the wall. | ||
| Shitty tables and, you know, fucking just cheesy. | ||
| Had the best time of my life. | ||
| Well, when a place is big, then it becomes a show. | ||
| And you have to do your act. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| You have to work tight. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Which stifles creativity. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's one of the reasons why Ari, when he does the store, he'll sign up for like late night and he'll get on like at 1245 or some shit like that and there's 20 people there. | ||
| And I always say that that's like truth serum. | ||
| Because if you do your act in front of 20 people, you know what sucks. | ||
| Like there's no confusing what sucks. | ||
| It's right in front of you. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| You feel the terribleness of your material. | ||
| You don't need 250 people to tell you suck. | ||
| It takes four couples who are paying attention. | ||
| But you feel it. | ||
| You can kind of song and dance your way through a couple of hundred people. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| You're exactly right. | ||
| A barometer. | ||
| Always said that. | ||
| Give me just double figures. | ||
| Give me 15 to 20. That is enough. | ||
| It's great to work out material. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| It's great to cut out all the horse shit in your act. | ||
| Yeah, because if there's only 15 people in the room and 7 of them don't like the joke, oh, you feel it. | ||
| Yeah, the 15, if someone's sitting there with their cross arms, staring you down, like, yikes! | ||
| That's where the work gets done. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I used to hate playing Carolines, and this is ironic, but this is when I had Comedy Central specials and I was kind of hot, and I would sell out Carolines. | ||
| I would hate it, though, like two shows on a Saturday night, because it's packed, and I know... | ||
| I have something called the asshole quotient. | ||
| For every 20 people in a club, there's one asshole. | ||
| So if there was like 250, you know, somebody do the math. | ||
| So you got more assholes. | ||
| Yeah, that was my rule. | ||
| So you have to work fast and tight to keep their attention. | ||
| Right. | ||
| As opposed to taking your time on a Tuesday night in front of 60 people, and the real funny comes out. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| When you say shit in between your proven bits, there's the gold. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it comes out of nowhere. | ||
| It's like it opens up. | ||
| And you put yourself in that frame of mind, too, when there's only 30 people at midnight or something like that. | ||
| You're putting yourself in a different frame of mind. | ||
| There's no pressure. | ||
| Let me ask you that. | ||
| Can you do that in front of a full room? | ||
| I can't put myself in that mentality. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's hard. | |
| Because you have to work differently. | ||
| I feel like I'm being a pussy and giving in. | ||
| But I know damn well if I work as slow as I do in front of 40 or 50 people, in front of 250 or 300, somebody's going to get anxious. | ||
| At least that's my... | ||
| That mentality, like you said, when you show up with 50 people, it's almost like fucking around in somebody's living room. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And I want that feeling in front of 300 people or 400 people. | ||
| It's always different. | ||
| You know, we were talking about that last night, that like when you do a large theater, it's so much different than doing a club. | ||
| Even if you do a packed club of 500 people and then you move to a place that's got 5,000 people, it's just a different feeling. | ||
| It's a totally different feeling. | ||
| You have to do the air quotes act. | ||
| You gotta do your act. | ||
| 5,000. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It gets weird. | ||
| Large numbers are weird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Timing's different. | ||
| You can't hammer the punchlines like you can in a club. | ||
| Like in a club, you go punch. | ||
| You remember Gavin would hit punchline after punchline. | ||
| Tag, tag, tag, tag, tag. | ||
| And those tags would just have everybody roll. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Well, if he was doing 10,000 people, those tags would get drowned out in the laughter of all the people around you. | ||
| I tried tagging when I did my first Tonight Show. | ||
| I tried tagging, you know. | ||
| Like I said, I got lost. | ||
| Other than Burbank. | ||
| It's Burbank, people. | ||
| But you don't tag like you're in a club, you know? | ||
| I remember learning that lesson, TV. But you're absolutely right. | ||
| Gavin was rapid fire. | ||
| I remember watching him at Knicks. | ||
| I came in when I first thought of comedy. | ||
| And I step in the door. | ||
| He's on stage. | ||
| And I'm like, is he dying? | ||
| Everybody was doubled over in the audience. | ||
| I thought he was fucking dying. | ||
| All of a sudden, you know... | ||
| You couldn't hear any laughter. | ||
| All of a sudden, a huge roar. | ||
| I mean, because he would tag, like you said, tag a joke 11 times. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And people are still dying from the laugh. | ||
| They were literally bent over. | ||
| Nothing was coming out of them. | ||
| I'm like... | ||
| He was shaking the rafters. | ||
| They couldn't breathe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think we got a chance to see some guys that are probably some of the best comics of all time and people don't know. | ||
| You know, I think between Sweeney and Gavin and Lenny and those guys that we saw when they were in their prime in the 80s. | ||
| Kenny Rogers. | ||
| Yeah, Kenny. | ||
| When we were coming up, those guys were in their prime and when we were young, we got a chance to see, I think, some of the greatest of all time. | ||
| No doubt about it. | ||
| But they got stuck. | ||
| Well, the guys at Knicks put them on a contract for a while too, remember? | ||
| They gave them good money and coke. | ||
| Yeah, they... | ||
| They were making... | ||
| I remember Gav telling me they were making three grand a weekend and not having to leave your city. | ||
| Making road money and, like you said, some parks on the side. | ||
| Free booze. | ||
| All that. | ||
| Yeah, all that. | ||
| They all live great. | ||
| Did they ever. | ||
| But in the long run, you know... | ||
| Well, in the long run, it was a problem, but we got to see some crazy fucking comedy. | ||
| I remember some of those nights at Nick's Comedy Stop, when you watch those guys get, I remember Sweeney killing so hard, you almost wanted to quit comedy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| There's no way I could do that. | ||
| Well, I had to follow the fucking guy. | ||
| Gavin would, in Boston back then, you know, Don Gavin Show, he would be the host. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sweeney. | |
| No, Gavin would be the host. | ||
| Yeah, he would start off the show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was a different thing about Boston, too, right? | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Like, if you did the Nick DiPaolo show at Nick's Comedy Stop, you would start off the show. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| And what was crazy, it was great for young comic, but I had to follow Gavin. | ||
| Doing a tight 15. Jesus. | ||
| So it made me, you know, fucking... | ||
| You had to be able to hold your own, and they talk at 100 miles an hour, plus they're coked up, and they're really funny. | ||
| They're really funny, and they got heavy Boston accents, and they're big men. | ||
| They're like big, imposing people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| And they would destroy some guy who came in. | ||
| I remember a guy, something gold, Ronnie Gold from New York, had just done his first Tonight Show and shit. | ||
| And he was coming to Knicks for the weekend, and everybody was dropping in. | ||
| Gavin would do 10. Chance Lang doing all of his guitar, and literally gets a standing ovation. | ||
| Here's Ronnie Gold! | ||
| Five minutes into it. | ||
| Cricket, people, cricket, cricket. | ||
| Angry fucking Irish kids with their blonde eyebrows. | ||
| You fucking suck! | ||
| Yeah, I remember that. | ||
| That was a tough room if you were having a bad set. | ||
| Well, they would do it to the people on purpose. | ||
| They would do it to anybody from out of town that had a big attitude and a Hollywood resume. | ||
| They did it to Billy Crystal. | ||
| They lit Billy Crystal up in that room. | ||
| Well, that I understand. | ||
| Yeah, well, you gotta do what you gotta do. | ||
| They did it to everybody, though. | ||
| It was crazy to watch. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| They were like, these guys, we're as funny as them. | ||
| We're going to punish them. | ||
| And they would. | ||
| You know who they didn't do it to? | ||
| Dom Herrera. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Dom Herrera went up there like a fucking champ and just rode the wave. | ||
| Yes, he would. | ||
| He just kept that wave going. | ||
| He's that funny. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I went on Comics Come Home a couple years ago. | ||
| No, not the last one. | ||
| The one before that. | ||
| And Dom had to close the show. | ||
| And it was a murder's row. | ||
| Bobby Kelly. | ||
| Fucking me. | ||
| Billy Burr. | ||
| Taking the roof off the dump, and I'm like, Dom has to close this. | ||
| And he's as funny as anybody, but I'm just saying. | ||
| How's he gonna? | ||
| He goes up there, and he did something self-deprecating. | ||
| It gets a nice line. | ||
| Within a minute and a half, he had them, and there was no drop-off. | ||
| There was no drop-off in response. | ||
| I went home. | ||
| I didn't realize he was that fucking good. | ||
| Oh, he's still that good. | ||
| Dom Herrera has not lost his step. | ||
| Brilliant, funny guy. | ||
| I see him at the store all the time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Quit drinking. | ||
| Told me he quit drinking for two months. | ||
| Very happy for him. | ||
| Yeah, I saw he has hands with like shaking. | ||
| He has a nerve issue. | ||
| It's actually, it goes from his shoulder all the way down to his arm. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Mushrooms. | ||
| That'll help him? | ||
| Or hurt him? | ||
|
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No, hurt him. | |
| That's what he said. | ||
| Ah, shit. | ||
| He told me that's what... | ||
| God damn it, now that you brought it up. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Dude, we honestly better get you out of here. | ||
| Look, I said before, anytime. | ||
| Joey. | ||
| Come on by. | ||
| I would. | ||
| I mean, this shows as powerful as anything out there. | ||
| TV, radio. | ||
| And that flight just makes me mentally ill. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| I fucking almost started crying halfway out here. | ||
| I just got a guy next to me sucking on a straw like a six-year-old. | ||
| With ice in his glasses, nothing in it. | ||
| It's 110 degrees. | ||
| On the plane? | ||
| Baby behind me screaming like somebody was using the soft spot in his head for a fucking ashtray. | ||
| I can't make this shit up. | ||
| I almost fucking... | ||
| I was almost crying. | ||
| But you know what? | ||
| I gotta come out here more than once every two years. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| If you'll have me. | ||
| Come out, yeah. | ||
| And next time... | ||
| I gotta show tonight the improv at any time. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Anytime you want. | ||
| Come do a show someday. | ||
|
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We'll do it. | |
| I'll be in traffic with the rest of the world. | ||
| Can I plug a couple? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Tell anybody where you are. | ||
| My podcast. | ||
| Just go to nickdip.com. | ||
| And Monday through Thursday at 6 p.m. | ||
| Eastern. | ||
| It streams live for free on Monday and Wednesdays. | ||
| And I just shot a thing called Stickman in October. | ||
| It's about an instructional baseball clinic. | ||
| You know Adam Ray, the comedian? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's in it. | ||
| Okay, cool. | ||
| Andrew Parisi wrote it. | ||
| and Andrew's partner already sold some stuff to Netflix, so we're hoping. | ||
| And it came out killer. | ||
| It's called Stickman. | ||
| It's really testosterone-driven, so you'd fucking like it. | ||
| NickDip.com for my show. | ||
| Tonight at the Comedy Palace, Sunday night, Ventura Harbor Comedy Club slash Chinese restaurant. | ||
| Good food. | ||
| And what am I forgetting? | ||
| I know I'm forgetting something. | ||
| Instagram and Twitter, all that stuff. | ||
| Instagram and Twitter, but go to nickdip.com. | ||
| The show's growing leaps and bounds. | ||
| I'm shooting a special in March at Cohoes Hall in New York. | ||
| I think I'm just going to put that one out there. | ||
| Use your, what you told me. | ||
| Just flood the market with it. | ||
| Not even charge people. | ||
| Just flood it. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Flood it. | ||
| Get it out there. | ||
| Because my stand-up is still my thing. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Love you, man. | ||
| I love you too, brother. | ||
| Love you, Joe. | ||
| Always good to see you. | ||
| Same here. | ||
| Nick DiPaolo, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
|
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Woo! |
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