July 10, 2018 - The Joe Rogan Experience
01:57:20
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| Drop it, Ellie. | ||
| Bravo. | ||
| In the house for Joe Rogan's podcast birthday. | ||
| Here we are, bitches. | ||
| Millionaires. | ||
| Smoking that green dope. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| Scratching? | ||
| You fucked it up, Joe Rogan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm scratching. | |
| Happy birthday, Joe. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Happy birthday, Joe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you very much. | |
| I love that dude's voice. | ||
| That dude's got some serious soul to his voice. | ||
| I can listen to the beginning of that song a hundred times in a row. | ||
| I don't care how gay it sounds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love that fucking song. | |
| I know it's a stupid song. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| There's some songs where you're embarrassed that you love them. | ||
| I love that fucking song. | ||
| I don't give a shit. | ||
| If you like Sublime, you would like that. | ||
| That's like a Sublime type song. | ||
| I love the rap too. | ||
| I love the dude rapping. | ||
| I never felt that vibe. | ||
| Especially when I saw him. | ||
| I'm like, wow, what a weird looking dude. | ||
| He's tattooed all the way up to his neck. | ||
| Real skinny, little happy, friendly guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don't get me wrong, I would like to be a billionaire as well, but not feeling it. | |
| The Fleshlight is sponsoring this My Birthday podcast and all other podcasts. | ||
| If you haven't fucked one, you don't know what you're missing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Joey, have you fucked one yet? | |
| It's been so long, it just turned into a straight commercial. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like, let me get this fucking out of the way. | |
| No, we still talk about it. | ||
| Make it short and sweet. | ||
| Make it short and sweet. | ||
| It's like I'm a representative for The Fleshlight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like that line. | |
| Did you rehearse it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| That was the first time. | ||
| I probably said it before, but I didn't rehearse it. | ||
| Yeah, we got to actually make a commercial for it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can you imagine that? | |
| Are you lonely? | ||
| Are you sick and tired of whacking off by yourself, looking out the fucking window, waiting for Cinderella to come in? | ||
| Look no more, cocksucker. | ||
| The flashlight is here. | ||
| Pick it up. | ||
| You too can fuck one of these things in the ass and the mouth. | ||
| You can fuck whatever the hell you want. | ||
| You just close your eyes and you're there. | ||
| Open up the flashlight. | ||
| Show them what's inside. | ||
| It's a clean, white little monkey shaving. | ||
| The asshole's clean. | ||
| No hemorrhoids. | ||
| That's how they do it over there at the flashlight. | ||
| You stick a dick in there, a finger, two fingers. | ||
| You can practice whatever you want to do. | ||
| Here we have happy customers. | ||
| Red Band, tell me about the flashlight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It smells great. | |
| Tremendous. | ||
| After you wash it or before you fuck it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, after you fuck it. | |
| I love it. | ||
| Another word from Flashlight coming soon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| You just weirded everybody out again, you fuck. | ||
| He said smells great after you fuck it. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Loads smell terrible when you leave them in your stomach. | ||
| You know, you get like a little puddle in the summer and you leave a load in your belly button and it smells like dead fish. | ||
| I'm like, what the fuck? | ||
| Or if you ever like jerk off and you're so lazy you don't even bother cleaning off your balls and your balls smell like fish. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's happened like two or three times but my balls didn't smell like fish though. | |
| I'll tell you what I do. | ||
| It was dry and crusty. | ||
| It's a matter of how much moisture you're generating down there. | ||
| This is what I do. | ||
| My shit's like a jungle son. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When I whack off I got the turtleneck so I hold the top of the turtleneck. | |
| And the cum comes in and it swells up like a fucking balloon. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| And I walk to the toilet and just open up the toilet and it goes boop! | ||
| And the chick spitting it in there. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| So it pays to be uncircumcised, cocksucker. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's how I roll. | |
| You hold the tip when you're ready to cum and the cum comes out but it swells up like a balloon and you just hold it and throw it out to your teacher. | ||
| Where the fuck you throwing it at? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I'm saying? | |
| Throw it out to your teacher! | ||
| Science, bitches! | ||
| How funny is it that it's a common practice to cut your dick when you're born. | ||
| That's the most common thing. | ||
| It looks prettier though, right? | ||
| What are you even talking about? | ||
| Look, I mean, what if pussies came all trimmed back? | ||
| What if pussies came all trimmed back and exposed and because of that they weren't as sensitive and, you know, we just got used to the way they looked and they were trimmed back and exposed so we got mad if girls had lips. | ||
| Like, ew, what do you have pussy lips for? | ||
| Those are gross. | ||
| I can't even see the pussy. | ||
| It's all covered in this fucking pussy lip. | ||
| It's just a matter of perception. | ||
| You just get used to it. | ||
| There's nothing that's smart about cutting a kid's dick. | ||
| Did you get yours cut? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Nobody asked me. | ||
| Nobody asked me. | ||
| Would you want it not cut right now? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| I think that's supposed to be the way it's supposed to be. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's dirty. | |
| No, it's not dirty. | ||
| No, you clean your dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fresh like a motherfucker. | |
| I know we're probably brainwashed, but we're raised to believe that someone that isn't circumcised has a dirty dick. | ||
| We're raised to believe it. | ||
| Well, I know it's not true. | ||
| It's not true? | ||
| I just have to be deprogrammed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's all. | |
| Yeah, it's not true. | ||
| There's not more crevices for mushrooms to hide in. | ||
| It's all self-cleaning just like a woman's vagina. | ||
| You just got to wash it more, right? | ||
| If I pee outside and I don't shake it because the cops are coming or some shit, then your dick's going to smell. | ||
| But that's everybody in this fucking room. | ||
| No, see, ours is built so it just has like a gutter. | ||
| It just drips right off into your inner leg. | ||
| Oh, it's not a smart move. | ||
| You can't argue chopping the foreskin off, dude. | ||
| That's just crazy. | ||
| You do lose sensitivity, though. | ||
| Yeah, you lose a lot of sensitivity. | ||
| It's supposed to feel much better. | ||
| It's supposed to feel better? | ||
| I don't need help. | ||
| I can barely take it now. | ||
| I don't need any more help coming. | ||
| That sucks. | ||
| Any less sensitivity. | ||
| It just would feel better. | ||
| Do you cum like that? | ||
| More sensitive doesn't necessarily mean you cum quicker. | ||
| It just means it feels better. | ||
| Have you ever used a condom on a chick so that you can last longer? | ||
| No. | ||
| You've never done that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| What about you, Brian? | ||
| I used a condom on my flashlight. | ||
| So you can last longer? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which, as a disclaimer, say right away, we are high as fuck. | ||
| Alright, so if some of this stuff seems silly, that's what's going down. | ||
| I didn't smoke a joint for five days. | ||
| I watched Anderson Silva fight. | ||
| Stone, sober, like a priest, bitches. | ||
| You understand me? | ||
| I held out to today because I wanted to look good for this thing, and I'm going to Buddy Guy tonight and BB motherfucking king. | ||
| So I gotta save that shit because I'm getting fucked up tonight. | ||
| You understand me? | ||
| That Anderson Silva fight was insane. | ||
| What a fight. | ||
| My heart was pounding the whole time. | ||
| There's no way there's anything in the world that gives you that much entertainment, that much drama, that there's nothing like that. | ||
| There's no movie that can fuck with that fight. | ||
| Forever. | ||
| It's impossible to make a movie that's gonna be as entertaining, that draws you in like that. | ||
| So much emotion, so much anger. | ||
| So much explosion. | ||
| So much fucking struggle. | ||
| It looks like all hope is lost. | ||
| Anderson Silva slaps on the triangle. | ||
| The fucking crowd goes crazy. | ||
| Chelsea kind of pretends not to tap and hangs in there. | ||
| You're like, what the fuck is going to happen here? | ||
| And they break it up and be like, wow, he fucking pulled it off. | ||
| He pulled it off, man. | ||
| He kept in there for five rounds of getting the fuck beat out of him. | ||
| Getting taken down, getting punched, getting beat up. | ||
| Very little success on the feet. | ||
| Hits him a little bit, but then he gets taken down every time. | ||
| Four fucking rounds Chell Sonnen did that shit. | ||
| And he knocked him down. | ||
| And he knocked him down and people were giving him 10-8 rounds. | ||
| He got some 10-8 rounds. | ||
| That's rare. | ||
| It's rare you get a 10-8 round. | ||
| I used to argue with people at King of the Cage all the time. | ||
| They were really, back in like 2000, 2001, they were seriously thinking about making a 30 second ground rule. | ||
| Because the groundwork is boring. | ||
| And it's all about putting asses in seats. | ||
| And I'm like, what are you talking about that groundwork is boring? | ||
| Are you kidding me? | ||
| He goes, someone getting put in a triangle isn't as exciting as someone getting knocked out. | ||
| I go, it all depends on the situation. | ||
| Someone gets knocked out in a prelim, no one gives a fuck. | ||
| But if it gets knocked out in a championship fight, it's different. | ||
| And I mean, it's all about the situation. | ||
| That was Anderson Silva losing the fucking fight. | ||
| Losing every round. | ||
| Getting jacked. | ||
| He's invincible. | ||
| He's fucking everybody up. | ||
| He was gonna crush Sonnen. | ||
| Sonnen does everything right. | ||
| Takes him down. | ||
| Stays away from submissions. | ||
| Beats him standing. | ||
| Knocked him down. | ||
| Did everything right. | ||
| Everything was perfect. | ||
| And Anderson Silva, out of his ass, throws up a fucking triangle and it sticks. | ||
| Joe Rogan puts a kiss of death on him. | ||
| Because Joe Rogan goes, as soon as the fifth round started, he goes, is Chael Sonnen, how's he going to start to celebrate? | ||
| No, I said, is it too early for Chael to celebrate? | ||
| It's too early to celebrate, and I'm like, this motherfucker just drew the kiss. | ||
| But then you came back! | ||
| Adds to the drama. | ||
| You can never count out Anderson Silva with only three minutes left. | ||
| You can never, as long as he's active, as long as he can move, anything can happen with that guy. | ||
| He can knock you out in one second. | ||
| He can get up out of nowhere, you charge forward, you get fucking flying knee in the head, a la Carlos Newton. | ||
| Remember that fight? | ||
| Carlos Newton was dominating him on the ground. | ||
| He got back up to his feet. | ||
| They restarted him because he couldn't do anything on his feet in pride. | ||
| And he fucking leapt through the air and slammed Carlos Newton in the head with a flying knee and put him away. | ||
| He's a beast, man. | ||
| He's a bad motherfucker. | ||
| Anderson Silva is a freak. | ||
| His skin didn't even break. | ||
| He got hit 20,000 fucking times. | ||
| The skin didn't even break. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| That's that Brazilian lizard skin he's got. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I wanted that, but my grandmother went the different direction. | ||
| You following me? | ||
| Yeah, that guy's as tough as they come. | ||
| And while we're at it, I'm talking about tough guys because I've always liked him. | ||
| I've heard pro and con, but I've always liked him because he came up to me and talked to me. | ||
| He was very nice, and that's the farmer. | ||
| You know, and I call him the farmer. | ||
| Matt Hughes. | ||
| I love him to death, but after last week, I just want to say something. | ||
| He did the remake of Chinese Connection because he beat the whole fucking Gracie family, the students. | ||
| All he needs to do is wait for the Russian to come over. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He beat everybody up. | |
| He's got to hang them now on the lamppost. | ||
| Henzo, the uncle, the fucking other one. | ||
| Boys. | ||
| The hoist one was the worst one. | ||
| The hoist one was a crusher. | ||
| Hoist, Enzo, Ricardo. | ||
| So in other words, Eddie, you're off the hook. | ||
| Dude, how sweet was that move he hit him with? | ||
| He hit him with that, they call it the Schultz headlock, I guess. | ||
| Yeah, I tried that. | ||
| Josh Barnett. | ||
| I tried that last night. | ||
| Did you see Josh Barnett's instructional? | ||
| No. | ||
| He put a thing on the underground. | ||
| If you go to mixedmartialarts.com, Josh Barnett loves all that catch wrestling stuff. | ||
| He's a huge catch wrestling fan. | ||
| So anytime there's a move like this, that's a Dave Schultz headlock. | ||
| Dave Schultz and his brother Mark Schultz, these badass wrestlers, used to fuck people up. | ||
| They used to get him with Kimuras and shit and do a lot of illegal things. | ||
| They'd hit a Kimura. | ||
| There's a beautiful video. | ||
| Have you ever seen a video of Schultz hitting that Kimura and flipping the guy over? | ||
| no it's pretty badass but it's totally illegal in wrestling I mean he's basically yanking the guy's shoulder out of his socket and throwing him over his head but they would just do like submissions in a real wrestling match like they were famous for that shit they would put guys to sleep with this headlock and then roll him over on the back and the referee didn't even know the guy was unconscious and then they figured out what they were doing and they stopped him from doing it Yeah, these two brothers. | ||
| They were so crazy. | ||
| Did they ever kill anybody, like go too far or anything like that? | ||
| No, they didn't. | ||
| But the crazy thing is, there's a, I forget the guy's name. | ||
| Is it Hines or Hunt? | ||
| Who was the guy that killed them? | ||
| There was some guy who was this eccentric millionaire who used to pay wrestlers to come and work out with them. | ||
| That's what he wanted to do. | ||
| He was just a crazy guy. | ||
| And he lost his fucking mind and shot him. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The whole thing's pretty crazy. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I don't remember the exact guy's name. | ||
| I don't remember the story. | ||
| I don't feel like Googling it right now. | ||
| If you want to Google it, look up Dave Schultz, murderer. | ||
| Dave Schultz, butthole. | ||
| I mean, that was a great card from the beginning. | ||
| I didn't see the prelims, but I mean... | ||
| Mark Schultz fought in the UFC way back in the day. | ||
| Remember he fought Gary Goodridge? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Wasn't it his brother that died? | ||
| Yeah, his brother's one who got shot. | ||
| No, his brother got shot. | ||
| Sad. | ||
| They were monsters. | ||
| Monster wrestlers. | ||
| Wow, you played in the Olympics? | ||
| Amateur wrestler? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He won the gold in 1984. Yeah, does it say who murdered him? | |
| He was some crazy dude who used to want to just wrestle dudes. | ||
| He hired these guys to come and wrestle him. | ||
| I don't know if it was some gay stuff or what. | ||
| I mean, look, there's guys who maybe they won't... | ||
| It's not like... | ||
| John E. DuPont from the DuPont family? | ||
| DuPont, yeah. | ||
| That was the guy who killed him. | ||
| He's a billionaire character. | ||
| He sniffed a bunch of paint. | ||
| I'm not saying that the wrestler's a gay, but I'm saying if some guy who's a gay guy just wants to wrestle... | ||
| How many rich gay dudes are there that fly people in to teach them some jiu-jitsu privates at the house? | ||
| I think for a lot of gay dudes, it's the same game as for a lot of dudes. | ||
| They're looking to turn somebody. | ||
| They're looking to get somebody's wife to suck their dick. | ||
| They're looking to get some dude who's not gay to let them fuck them. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| It feels beautiful. | ||
| When they're not gay? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When they turn somebody? | ||
| They want to get some guys like, I don't think I could ever be gay, dude. | ||
| Is that the ultimate? | ||
| You could be gay. | ||
| Yeah, I think that's the ultimate! | ||
| Mrs. Rogan has some gay friends and they love straight guys. | ||
| They have a thing for straight guys. | ||
| They want to turn straight guys. | ||
| And you know, there was a guy that was working in one of the shows I used to work on who was working behind the scenes and he was a gay dude who would tell me how many straight guys would get drunk and let them suck their dick. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He said, he goes, you'd be fucking surprised, honey. | ||
| You'd be fucking surprised. | ||
| How many of these straight guys? | ||
| That I met at a gay bar that were acting straight. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| That I met at a gay bar that were acting straight because they haven't come out of the closet yet. | ||
| There's probably a lot of guys that are straight, you know, that hang out and that fuck these guys. | ||
| Do you think it's that, or do you think there are some straight guys who are just so silly... | ||
| That they might suck a dick once. | ||
| No, I don't think so. | ||
| I think you're gay. | ||
| You don't think so? | ||
| If you want to suck a dick, you're gay. | ||
| I think there are dudes who don't have any friends. | ||
| That's like your bisexual joke. | ||
| There's no such thing as bisexuals, dude. | ||
| Let me talk here. | ||
| I think there's dudes that are just really fucking dumb. | ||
| And you can talk them into blowing you. | ||
| I really do believe that. | ||
| Blowing you? | ||
| You think you can talk a guy into sucking your dick? | ||
| There's some dumb dudes out there, dude. | ||
| There's some real dummies out there. | ||
| There's some people out there that will basically do anything you want them to. | ||
| You just have to talk enough to them. | ||
| Eventually, they'll suck your dick. | ||
| That's hysterical. | ||
| That's a good reality show, though. | ||
| Get a guy to suck your dick? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| Get the guy to think he's going to suck your dick and then tell him to fuck himself at the end of the night. | ||
| Let the guy do the whole thing. | ||
| But you'd have to get close. | ||
| You'd have to be kissing. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Let him see how strong his game is. | ||
| See if your Jimmy's that deep. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Come get me. | ||
| Take me out. | ||
| Wine me and dine me, bitch. | ||
| So it's basically a blue balls gay show. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| And at the end of the night, the host comes out and says, so what do you think? | ||
| You gonna let them suck your dick? | ||
| Not tonight, Johnny. | ||
| I'm going for the couch and the trip to the Bahamas. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck it. | |
| I turn. | ||
| I'm taking second place. | ||
| I'm like Chael Sonnen. | ||
| I took the silver. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Fuck that shit. | ||
| You let them wind you down. | ||
| You buy you a few CDs. | ||
| Then at the end of the night, they pull you aside. | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| It ain't happening. | ||
| I just had the night off. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| So the real game would be that the gay guy doesn't realize that if he can talk a straight guy into it, he gets a million dollars. | ||
| He gets a trip to Mars. | ||
| A new asshole. | ||
| They trim it. | ||
| They give him a plaque. | ||
| They just give him the fucking world. | ||
| A whole world run trip of Santa Monica. | ||
| The whole thing. | ||
| And he don't know. | ||
| Like, you gotta say, bro, I got a straight friend that I think he's gay. | ||
| I want you to take him out and just fuck him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| His head will, he'll grease his hair, he'll shave his balls, the whole thing. | ||
| He's going there with the intention of fucking a virgin. | ||
| We all get hot when we fuck the virgin. | ||
| The first time you fucked a virgin, how happy were you on the way home? | ||
| I don't think I've ever fucked a virgin. | ||
| Even if it was a horrible experience. | ||
| I never got a virgin. | ||
| Come on! | ||
| The only time I got a virgin was when I got diverginized. | ||
| And that was a terrible story. | ||
| You got any virgins? | ||
| I have many in high school. | ||
| I'm the ugliest dude in the room. | ||
| I got a girl one time. | ||
| I stuck my dick in a diverginizer. | ||
| Then I went to eat it. | ||
| I didn't know. | ||
| And I came up with a little red fucking thing on my mind. | ||
| It was disgusting. | ||
| Could you imagine if you had to deal with the kind of shit that you had to deal with, the drama that you had to deal with when you were like 14 and 15? | ||
| Could you imagine you have to go back and do that today? | ||
| I would do it. | ||
| You fit right in. | ||
| You didn't even have to fucking change. | ||
| You didn't even have to change your clothes. | ||
| I already do it. | ||
| You just slide right into it. | ||
| Bro, I dated this girl. | ||
| You're a Peter Pan. | ||
| My parents hated spics. | ||
| You hated fucking spics. | ||
| Did they get mad at you? | ||
| Oh, they would say it right in front of me. | ||
| But the chick was so hot, I didn't give a fuck. | ||
| They would say it? | ||
| They would say it like what they said. | ||
| On the way out the door, I would just knock on the door and they'd open the door and just walk away from me. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| And then she'd come up and then she'd go, fuck you, mom, or whatever. | ||
| Shut up, mom. | ||
| But one night, I'm in her porch fingering the show for like 10 minutes. | ||
| And all of a sudden, I turn around and the father was right there, bro. | ||
| Oh my God! | ||
| He was like red in the face. | ||
| I just took my hand out of those pair of jeans and I just fucking went. | ||
| I never called her again. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| I seen her like years later. | ||
| Her brother hated me. | ||
| He was a fireman. | ||
| But they couldn't do dick to me. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| You ever get caught boning your girlfriends when you're a teenager and your parents come home or her parents come home and you have to jump in the closet naked? | ||
| No, I didn't have to jump in the closet naked, but I got busted. | ||
| I did. | ||
| Jumped in the closet naked. | ||
| It was her house. | ||
| Her dad showed up. | ||
| Her dad showed up. | ||
| I jumped in the closet. | ||
| I'm naked. | ||
| I was so fucking terrified. | ||
| The condom was just on and shit. | ||
| And he stayed. | ||
| He stayed for hours. | ||
| I passed fucking out in the closet. | ||
| I was asleep. | ||
| Imagine if you were snoring in the closet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's how they caught you. | ||
| And they opened the closet and there you are naked with a condom on. | ||
| The condom was like stuck to my leg. | ||
| This lazy motherfucker is in the closet and he can just go to sleep. | ||
| He feels so comfortable in the closet. | ||
| He's naked with a condom on and he got busted fucking my daughter and he's just sleeping. | ||
| You would have no faith that this would be the man. | ||
| I was a child. | ||
| That might be the worst way to meet Your girlfriend's dad. | ||
| If he wakes you up because you're snoring because you're naked in the closet with a condom on. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I have a friend who just got arrested because he found his 15-year-old daughter and her boyfriend having sex in the garage and he beat the fuck out of the guy. | ||
| Oh, you told me about that. | ||
| Yeah, you told me about that. | ||
| I know a guy. | ||
| He's a friend. | ||
| Hey, man. | ||
| Kids are going to do what kids are going to do, man. | ||
| Would you be so hypocritical? | ||
| You think you could have sympathy on a guy like that, right? | ||
| His daughter's getting banged? | ||
| The real thing, the real problem with men and women is that a lot of kids grow up in an environment where their mother and their father don't get along and they're volatile and there's a lot of fighting and yelling. | ||
| And so that's their model of what a relationship should be like. | ||
| And if you grow up in a happy household and everybody's cool and everybody's friendly with each other and that's what you associate human behavior with, Then that's the type of person you want with your daughter. | ||
| That's the type of girl you want with your son. | ||
| You don't want no crazy shit. | ||
| But the problem is that most people aren't like that. | ||
| Most people are a fucking wreck. | ||
| So the real problem with some kid coming over and wanting to finger bang your daughter isn't that your daughter shouldn't enjoy a good finger banging. | ||
| It's that this kid might be a fucking creep. | ||
| That's what you have to worry about. | ||
| What people have to worry about is how other people are raising their kids. | ||
| You have to worry. | ||
| You have to worry. | ||
| There's a lot of people out there that are completely ignoring their kids. | ||
| So you think that guy, before he beat that kid up, he should have stopped him and said, what kind of home do you want? | ||
| If you grow up in a house full of abuse, you don't want some kid growing up in a house full of abuse fingering your daughter's ass off. | ||
| That's a normal reaction, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| All of a sudden you walk in on your daughter. | ||
| It's not normal to beat him up, man. | ||
| It's not normal to beat him up. | ||
| If your daughter wanted to do it, if she wanted to do it and he wanted to do it, it is absolutely not right that you beat him up. | ||
| No, there's no way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No way. | |
| You have to say, hey, listen, this is irresponsible. | ||
| You guys could get pregnant. | ||
| You have to be wearing protection. | ||
| You shouldn't be doing this so young. | ||
| But look, you can't do it like this, and you can't do it so stupid where you get caught in the garage. | ||
| Is this consensual? | ||
| Is everybody happy? | ||
| That's the conversation you have to have. | ||
| If the girl starts crying and screaming, you say, look, this is an embarrassing thing. | ||
| You fucked up. | ||
| Learn from this fuck up. | ||
| You're absolutely correct. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Totally. | |
| You can't beat the kid up because that's you, man. | ||
| It's a kid, too. | ||
| You've got to remember that's a kid. | ||
| Maybe the guy was big. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So what? | |
| You're not allowed to beat him up. | ||
| His brain's not big. | ||
| He's just fucking. | ||
| It's what you want to do all the time. | ||
| It's what everybody wants to do. | ||
| It's natural. | ||
| I'm going to tell you something, guys. | ||
| When it comes to daughters and wives, it's all fucking different. | ||
| We're not in that room, so wipe the fucking slate right now. | ||
| When it comes to daughters and wives, it's a whole different animal, gentlemen. | ||
| So relax with that shit. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Daughters and wives, it's a whole different animal. | ||
| Yeah, I understand that. | ||
| Some guys run out of the room, some guys look at a fucking shotgun. | ||
| Look, if the guy's hurting her, if he's hurting your daughter, that's one thing. | ||
| But if your daughter's liking it, your daughter shouldn't be able to like sex. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| What you're saying is right. | ||
| What you're saying is right. | ||
| When the animal instincts take over... | ||
| I'm talking about... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like, whatever. | |
| The real animal instincts, though, should be about disrespect. | ||
| Okay, check this out. | ||
| If you were the 15-year-old kid... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Think about this. | |
| If you were the 15-year-old kid and you got caught banging his daughter and he walked in, would you be terrified? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Of course. | ||
| Why would you be terrified? | ||
|
unidentified
|
100%. | |
| Because of movies, because of how you're grown up, but you don't really think that guy's going to beat you. | ||
| No, because of natural instincts. | ||
| It's his natural instinct to beat the fuck out of you. | ||
| You're born thinking that the whole time from when your kid takes over. | ||
| I don't think it's a thinking thing, bro. | ||
| I think that's an animal thing. | ||
| It is. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| You're born thinking that. | ||
| That's why men have such a huge problem with men, like grown men, having sex with like 14, 13, 12-year-olds. | ||
| Because those are still like little kids. | ||
| And when grown men want to fuck little girls like that, that is one of the most disturbing things and one of the things that's least acceptable, least likely to be forgiven for. | ||
| You might be ruining my fucking daughter's life right here. | ||
| That's what that is. | ||
| You just want to fuck everything up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Forever. | |
| You're probably going to get her pregnant. | ||
| I'm going to kill you all the work I've done and now you're fucking it up and you don't even love her. | ||
| You probably tricked her. | ||
| You probably lied to her. | ||
| There's different situations. | ||
| You've been with her for two years and the father walks in. | ||
| He likes you. | ||
| You're going to have sex. | ||
| I mean, after six months, you figure that they're having sex. | ||
| But in the garage, it's all different, guys. | ||
| And that's why with daughters and wives, man, and I wouldn't beat the fuck out of the kid because I'd be a hypocrite. | ||
| How many people do I fuck and eat behind the high school? | ||
| I remember one time I even dug in the snow thinking I was going to fuck this chick in the snow. | ||
| I dug a little hut behind the fire department in North Carolina. | ||
| You know, I'm a freak, Jack. | ||
| You're going to fuck her in the snow. | ||
| In the fucking snow. | ||
| But the night before, I was fingering her, eating her little monkey. | ||
| And the next day, I got like 12 feet of snow. | ||
| That wasn't going to stop mad flavor. | ||
| When you're full of testosterone, you're 14. That's the thing about kids. | ||
| They accelerate. | ||
| They kick it to the next level. | ||
| They finger in one day. | ||
| The next day, they're fucking. | ||
| I went back there in the daytime with a shovel. | ||
| Shoveled a little patch we were partying the night before. | ||
| And I thought I was actually going to fuck her. | ||
| I was even happier because I was going to have my own sexual igloo. | ||
| You know how to pop a rose? | ||
| I'm going to have a sex igloo. | ||
| I'm going to roll hype in Alaska, motherfucker. | ||
| I swear to God. | ||
| When testosterone takes over, that's not the situation. | ||
| It's having a parent. | ||
| I wouldn't beat up a kid. | ||
| I think I'd say, get the fuck out of my house. | ||
| You would definitely be very quick on the draw if he was disrespectful. | ||
| If he started being a dick to you, you might be a little hyper-aggressive. | ||
| Your natural instinct is going to be... | ||
| It's hard to ignore. | ||
| Your natural instinct is going to be to beat the fuck out of them. | ||
| When I was a kid, I dated a lot of young girls, and that was the only parent. | ||
| They were German. | ||
| Fucking German people. | ||
| They were the only ones that were ever rude to me. | ||
| The only ones? | ||
| The only parents that were ever that rude to me. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, like the only... | ||
| Think about this. | ||
| How would you react? | ||
| Your daughter's dating some dude. | ||
| You met him a couple times. | ||
| He's totally disrespectful. | ||
| He has no respect for you. | ||
| You don't like this motherfucking dude. | ||
| You don't want them to be together. | ||
| And you hate this motherfucking kid. | ||
| He's a dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's a douche. | |
| He thinks he's arrogant. | ||
| And then, two weeks later, you catch him banging. | ||
| You walk in the garage and he's banging your daughter. | ||
| You have a stern... | ||
| Right there, you might fuck him up, right? | ||
| No, you just have a stern talk with him. | ||
| You have to realize it's kind of a kid and go, look, you're not woke. | ||
| You've got to put him to sleep. | ||
| You've got to stop this nonsense. | ||
| No, if your daughter likes him. | ||
| It's not going to leave marks. | ||
| It doesn't hurt. | ||
| I would never threaten harm against a kid. | ||
| You're just in the jiu-jitsu world, so you're used to choking people out. | ||
| And then by the time he wakes up, she's dressed and gone. | ||
| If she's getting raped, yeah. | ||
| But she's not getting raped. | ||
| She's liking it. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Did you not have sex when you were 15? | ||
| Girls like boys, man. | ||
| I was 13. Newsflash? | ||
| I was 13. Alright, so doesn't that in your head go, okay, I was a fucking punk. | ||
| Hey, listen, I didn't want to do it, though. | ||
| I got talked into it. | ||
| If you want the girl to be happy, you should want her to like boys. | ||
| Wanted to be around nice boys and have fun with your body, you know, responsibly. | ||
| That's what you should be doing. | ||
| You shouldn't be beating the fuck out of some kid that's banging your daughter. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, I could have easily been killed. | ||
| You just have to talk to him. | ||
| You got to stern talk to him. | ||
| Go, look, this is the last time you're allowed here. | ||
| I don't care, you know, what you guys do out of my house, but you can't be here if you hate him that bad. | ||
| You have to do something. | ||
| You don't just fucking start choking the guy out. | ||
| Next thing that dude calls the police and now you're in jail. | ||
| I think Joe probably would. | ||
| I think Joe would put a guillotine on. | ||
| Joe's got a really good guillotine. | ||
| He'll put the fucker out in three seconds, yell at his daughter for a little bit. | ||
| By the time he wakes up, he'll be dressed. | ||
| You drag him out, he'll wake up in the fucking front yard with his pants on backwards. | ||
| That's what I think Joe's going to do. | ||
| Best case scenario is you find some kid who likes your daughter and you like him. | ||
| And he's like a cool guy. | ||
| And you become like friends with him. | ||
| That's the best case scenario. | ||
| You know, some dude who's dating your daughter who you actually like when he comes over. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like, he's your friend now. | ||
| He's dating your daughter, but you like this guy. | ||
| Yeah, you can fuck her. | ||
| It's no big deal. | ||
| She's gonna want you to fuck her. | ||
| She's a condom. | ||
| She's gonna want you to fuck her. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| Dude hooks it up. | ||
| Dude hooks it up. | ||
| Tries to convince the daughter. | ||
| No! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sets up the date. | |
| Pays for the hotel. | ||
| Pays for the hotel. | ||
| This is the guy, I'm telling you. | ||
| That's the easiest way to turn your daughter into a lesbian ever. | ||
| Could you imagine? | ||
| They would just go straight lesbo. | ||
| That's what they would do. | ||
| That's probably how lesbians are created when it's not natural. | ||
| That's probably how you create them. | ||
| You get the father to get you to try to fuck his friends. | ||
| That's the formula. | ||
| That's the best way to have a woman completely distrust men for the rest of her life. | ||
| Just get your daughter to fuck your friends. | ||
| Get your daughter to fuck your friends. | ||
| Right? | ||
| She's just gonna try to rebel. | ||
| How's she gonna rebel? | ||
| She's gonna go lesbo. | ||
| That's the only move. | ||
| If you got a cool father-in-law, they're pretty fucking cool. | ||
| I had a great father-in-law. | ||
| He's the one that bailed me out of jail the first time. | ||
| We were like shaky. | ||
| He had soft lips. | ||
| When I got in trouble, then all of a sudden he was there for me. | ||
| It was a weird relationship because he had boys, but he was kind of upset how his boys had turned out. | ||
| They turned into pussies, right? | ||
| He wanted them to be very educated. | ||
| They didn't want to do that. | ||
| He was kind of upset with them in a way. | ||
| He didn't understand. | ||
| I think you told me this. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He was very upset with them. | ||
| They were successful roofers. | ||
| They had a tremendous roofing company to read different states, but he just wasn't into that stuff. | ||
| It's always going to be weird when someone's fucking your baby. | ||
| All my relationships in high school when I was dating a girl As soon as the parents knew we were boning, it was always creepy. | ||
| You'd be around them like you're stealing food from them. | ||
| It just feels weird. | ||
| I had my parents walk in. | ||
| My dad walk in and my stepmom walk in while I was having sex when I was like 17. The stepmom got pissed, but the dad was like, that's pretty cool. | ||
| My mom used to try to set ground rules and shit. | ||
| She couldn't come over my house and be in my bedroom with the door closed. | ||
| I'm like, alright mom. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here, alright? | ||
| This other girl I dated, her parents let me spend the night when I was 16. Sleep in bed. | ||
| They would wake up the next morning and go, time to wake up, school bus, or whatever. | ||
| Time to wake up to go to school. | ||
| And I just remember looking up and seeing her dad. | ||
| And I never thought it was crazy. | ||
| And my parents knew I would stay the night. | ||
| But now I look back at them like, that's fucking weird. | ||
| The only time that happened to me, I was 21 and she was 17. It was my girlfriend for about three years. | ||
| She was 17. You shouldn't be admitting to that. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| Wait, you mean 18, right? | ||
| No, but we didn't have sex at 17 when she was 17. When she turned 18, that's when the sex started. | ||
| It was just like a month later. | ||
| Is that under Clinton definitions of sex? | ||
| You were just pen pals before? | ||
| I did not have sexual relations at this moment. | ||
| I didn't even think about that. | ||
| I didn't even think about that. | ||
| I'm 21, she's 17. That didn't even enter my mind. | ||
| At all. | ||
| And her parents were totally cool with it. | ||
| Their parents let me spend the night. | ||
| They were totally cool. | ||
| Unless you're in Iowa where you're not allowed to be 16 to be a stripper, but the only law is you have to come home before 11 p.m. | ||
| God. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What state? | |
| Iowa, and I think also Rhode Island. | ||
| Is that what I said last time? | ||
| I think you said Rhode Island. | ||
| You could strip in high school. | ||
| As long as you strip from the 2 to 10, 15 shift. | ||
| You gotta let a whole be a whole lot. | ||
| Who pushed that law through? | ||
| Someone fucking... | ||
| A pervert senator. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like 16-year-olds. | ||
| I want to see the process of that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A reality show on the birth of that fucking thing. | |
| That's gotta be a fucker for some people. | ||
| I can't give you a rap dance. | ||
| It's Willie D from the Ghetto Boys. | ||
| He pushed it to the center. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ghetto Boys. | |
| You gotta let a hoe be a hoe. | ||
| Hey, I never found out... | ||
|
unidentified
|
You remember that? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| You remember that shit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
The one cover where his eyeballs falling out, was that real or fake? | |
| Yeah, it was real. | ||
| That was a real... | ||
| He shot himself. | ||
| I heard it was real, but I don't know if that was fake or real. | ||
| Dude, that guy was off the deep end, crazy. | ||
| There'd never been a guy like Bushwick Bill. | ||
| That was a crazy picture, man. | ||
| A midget star rapper with one eye who shot himself, who was fucked up on all kinds of drugs. | ||
| And still was a giant star. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| What kind of pussy do you think that guy got? | ||
| He must have gotten mad pussy. | ||
| Bushwick Bill is probably the Michael Jordan of black midgets. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| He's like the most famous. | ||
| The only other guy is Vern Troyer. | ||
| That guy, I'm sure, midgets around the world have posters of Vern Troyer and fucking... | ||
| The street midgets, for sure, Bushwick Bill is the number one dude in their soul. | ||
| That's the Bruce Lee. | ||
| Hey, dude, find Fuck A War. | ||
| Wait, wait. | ||
| By the Ghetto Boys. | ||
| No, this is the best Ghetto Boys song. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Fuck A War. | ||
| Find that, please. | ||
| Find Fuck A War. | ||
| Bushwick Bill could fucking flow, too, though. | ||
| He had a weird way of talking, but his... | ||
| The kiddo boys were fucking good. | ||
| He was fucking talented. | ||
| I don't know what he was, man. | ||
| But he was talented. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He rose above midgetry. | |
| Totally. | ||
| He fucking transcended all that shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Totally transcended it. | |
| He got hoes. | ||
| Everybody respected him as a rapper. | ||
| He was a fucking rock star. | ||
| our mission. | ||
| This is a great song. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is this? | |
| What's the last? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is this? | |
| What is this? | ||
| There won't be no shit-talking president. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There won't be no shit. | |
| There won't be no shit. | ||
| That's a good fucking song. | ||
| That's a good rap song. | ||
| Yeah, that's a great song. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fortunately for him, he doesn't have to be all that fucking mad. | |
| They'll never draft a midget. | ||
| Like he was all pissed off like they were going to pick him. | ||
| Like he was going to be on the front line leading the charge. | ||
| Like you really felt that angry? | ||
| I like that fucking song. | ||
| This is my favorite song. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was safe as fuck. | |
| Yeah, but that's Scarface. | ||
| That whole song was Bushwick Bill. | ||
| This is Scarface. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is Ghetto Boys, right? | |
| That's Scarface. | ||
| Scarface is the other singer in the Ghetto Boys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's like three of them. | |
| It's a different guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, a different guy singing, yeah. | |
| But that was my favorite Ghetto Boys song. | ||
| Yeah, it's a different Ghetto Boy, though. | ||
| Bushwick Bill's, his best song is Fuck A War. | ||
| That's his best one, man. | ||
| That's the best one that's all Bushwick, all flow. | ||
| That's a good fucking song. | ||
| And it's fucking right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And then there's that little wee man. | |
| He's a famous midget. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's the modern day jackass. | |
| Skater midget. | ||
| And then there's that dude, the comedian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That little kiss. | |
| What is the dude's name? | ||
| That little kiss. | ||
| What is his name? | ||
| I'm on the spot right now. | ||
| Do you know his name? | ||
| Brad? | ||
| Brad. | ||
| He's a midget? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Was Gary Coleman considered a midget? | ||
| Is he funny? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's a nice kid. | ||
| He's a nice kid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's really nice. | |
| Gary Coleman wasn't considered a midget, right? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| No, no, but his head was small. | ||
| He was different. | ||
| He was like a little person. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I'm talking about? | |
| Gary Coleman, he wasn't like a real midget with a big head. | ||
| Some are dwarfs, some are midgets. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what would be awesome if they remade the story of Gary Coleman, but they used Webster to play Gary Coleman? | |
| That guy, man. | ||
| Or Bushwick Bill. | ||
| That photo of him in bed dying and his wife taking a picture. | ||
| She's right next to him taking a photo. | ||
| That is one of the creepiest photos I've ever seen in my life. | ||
| Which photo? | ||
| Can I see it? | ||
| There's a woman. | ||
| I think I saved it. | ||
| Let me see if I saved it here. | ||
| Hopefully I did. | ||
| But it's Gary Coleman, and he's on his deathbed. | ||
| You see if you can find it, Brian? | ||
| All right, here, I'm going to look for it on Google. | ||
| You guys can talk. | ||
| Joey. | ||
| What's the story, Doug? | ||
| Did you teach today? | ||
| Oh, no, today's, you teach tonight. | ||
| Teach tonight, yep. | ||
| What's the curriculum this week? | ||
| What the fuck are we doing? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| What the fuck are we doing? | ||
| We're doing the ham sandwich. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Awesome half guard technique. | ||
| And we're also doing old school from quarter guard. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And... | |
| Here it is, right here. | ||
| A north-south joke. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| She took a picture of herself. | ||
| It's all watermarked all over it. | ||
| You can find it if you just Google Gary Coleman death photo. | ||
| It's him all fucked up, lying in bed, and she's taking a picture just like Totally coldly, just into the... | ||
| I mean, that's what I'm getting from her. | ||
| She just wants to get a photo of herself next to this freak. | ||
| Maybe that's his wife. | ||
| It is his wife. | ||
| It is his wife. | ||
| She's fucking selling photos of her next to the dead body. | ||
| Or dying body. | ||
| He looks like a baby. | ||
| He is a baby. | ||
| Damn, he got a big white girl. | ||
| God damn. | ||
| So that was his wife, for sure? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Well, he divorced her, but she still had... | ||
| Some power to see him, I guess. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Poor fuck. | ||
| I don't know what he did in a past life. | ||
| If you believe in that, he did some shit. | ||
| Well, I heard he was like an asshole, too. | ||
| I heard he was just a... | ||
| It's probably so hard to not be when you're three feet tall and everybody's fucking with you everywhere you go. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Going, dynamite! | ||
| And he's like, that's not my thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| What you talking about, Willis? | ||
| That must happen. | ||
| Oh, you're not the guy from Good Times? | ||
| No, that's not me. | ||
| I love Good Times. | ||
| I love Good Times. | ||
| I so thought that was you. | ||
| I seen her in an audition. | ||
| Winona Deance. | ||
| She don't look that good no more. | ||
| No? | ||
| It's over? | ||
| She's older. | ||
| She's got to be like 80, 60, 70 or something. | ||
| She used to be hot on the show. | ||
| I was reading something about, you remember that band Live? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Remember Live? | ||
| There was an article that I was reading about how they broke up and about how the singer wanted all the money. | ||
| He wanted them to sign off all the rights to the songs and everything to him. | ||
| I don't know who was right or who was wrong. | ||
| But I was looking at that and I was like, how fucking hard is it to make it in the music business? | ||
| Is that the hardest thing in all of show business? | ||
| I think it is, right? | ||
| Do you think that's the hardest thing? | ||
| It's the hardest thing because acting is kind of hard too. | ||
| Sometimes it's not hard. | ||
| It just depends on how good you are. | ||
| If you've got good product, if you have persistence, you keep pushing. | ||
| Some people will never get the good product. | ||
| Some people are born comedians, some people are born songwriters. | ||
| Look at Mike Posner. | ||
| He started off doing iTunes or GarageBand shit and giving a CD away. | ||
| Now he's got one of the number one CDs out right now. | ||
| I have no idea who that is. | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| Mike Posner. | ||
| Is he good? | ||
| I like him. | ||
| Uh-oh. | ||
| Once you hear the song, you'll know what I'm... | ||
| Joey Diaz is going to stab you with a pen. | ||
| I'm going to stab you with a pen, cocksucker. | ||
| You think this is good music? | ||
| Alright. | ||
| This is two half of fags with a banjo. | ||
| It's very tough. | ||
| You see these bands, they break up after two fucking hours. | ||
| But it was like, yeah, them getting along with each other. | ||
| It's impossible. | ||
| Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Brian that's super loud What is this? | |
| Mike Posner. | ||
| He's the one that... | ||
| He was going to college up to, like, three months ago. | ||
| Now he has, like, the number one CD. He was just found online, pretty much. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Dude, he... | ||
| This is the number one album. | ||
| It just came out yesterday. | ||
| The aliens are landing, cocksucker. | ||
| Fucking garbage. | ||
| Fucking world is coming to an end. | ||
| I don't want to judge this song harshly. | ||
| Because maybe I would like it under other circumstances. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I've heard it before. | |
| I've heard it before. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is it the guy with the big hoop earrings? | |
| I don't think so, no. | ||
| Here's the thing about songs, man. | ||
| If someone tells you, this is the best song ever, and you've never heard of it, and then they play it, if it doesn't grab you in like 15 seconds... | ||
| Well, this is like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Remember this? | |
| Okay, I've heard that. | ||
| We used to use it on the Death Squad a couple years ago. | ||
| Yes, okay. | ||
| Oh, it's a couple years old? | ||
| Yeah, this song has been redone just for this new album that came out. | ||
| Some rapper found him and they made him redo all his songs. | ||
| And so there's old school versions he used to do on GarageBand in his dorm room of this song. | ||
| And now this song is one of the number one songs. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| His story is really interesting. | ||
| And he just got discovered on Myspace? | ||
| I think just off his website and word of mouth and he used to throw free songs up on torrents and on his website and CDs and he just became big. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| I can get into that. | ||
| That's a good story. | ||
| I like that story. | ||
| There's a band called Ill, I-L-L, and the song's called Chasin' Shadows. | ||
| Listen to this for 20 seconds. | ||
| What's it called? | ||
| Chasin' Shadows by Ill. | ||
| I got super crazy baked on the vaporizer yesterday with a buddy of mine, and he goes, check out this song. | ||
| And it's just... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're either going to love it or hate it, but it fucking blew me away. | |
| It's like music you've never heard before. | ||
| Like super... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Coming out of the closet radio, it's 426. The band is ill. | |
| Chasing shadows. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is this it? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Is it chasing shadows? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I already went to put a mascara on. | |
| You must have been really high, son. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hold on. | |
| I feel like I should go put on my elf costume. | ||
| Maybe I should dress up like a wizard. | ||
| Wait till the beat shows up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's no vocals or nothing there. | |
| It's just all instrumental. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's just all a dude just freestyling on electronic shit. | ||
| And he's playing all these different gadgets. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like that. | |
| It's called dubstep. | ||
| Supposedly, like, huge and clubby. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love listening to music with no lyrics for writing. | |
| It's just chaos. | ||
| This is like when Mars attacks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes, exactly. | |
| This is like the background of a bank robbery scene. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Guy Ritchie movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
In a Guy Ritchie movie. | |
| Alright, let's kill this. | ||
| I want you to go to one now. | ||
| I can respect no music songs like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Last time I was here, we dropped a classic video on you. | |
| Trust me. | ||
| It blew my fucking head. | ||
| We dropped a classic video on these fucking people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Last time I was here, I saw you talking in the rain. | |
| I'm going to drop another one, but this is my present to Joe Rogan because I know he likes this dude, but you got to put it on your computer. | ||
| Okay, what do you want? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're going to just see the first minute of his performance. | |
| Well, I can't watch it on my computer because we'll hear it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you want? | |
| Turn it around. | ||
| It's nothing to hear. | ||
| It's nothing to hear. | ||
| You've got to see this. | ||
| You've got to fucking feel this. | ||
| What is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's James Brown live in Zaire, 1974, doing the big payback. | |
| Just the first minute. | ||
| 1974? | ||
| Zaire, yeah. | ||
| Just the first minute. | ||
| He was there for the Muhammad Ali fight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This was the concert for Muhammad Ali when he knocked out George Foreman or whatever the fuck it was. | |
| I want you to see the first minute of this. | ||
| This is just for you, dawg. | ||
| You're gonna fucking die. | ||
| I'm gonna die. | ||
| You're gonna fucking die. | ||
| He's 50. He's not 20. He's not 10 with fucking organs. | ||
| Give him away. | ||
| He's 50, gentlemen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This man will make your liver quiver. | |
| Hold on, hold on. | ||
| Just look at the intro for starters. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This man will freeze your knees. | |
| If you will, let's all welcome the world's godfather of soul, soul brother number one, James Brown! | ||
| Goddamn. | ||
| He comes out now with a UFC posse. | ||
| Look at the getup. | ||
| Oh my God, he's a genius. | ||
| No, right here. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Goddamn! | ||
| Damn He's got a flowing robe on for those who's not we're not seeing this I And it's open chest down to his navel. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is fucking a classic slice of time, man. | |
| This is a classic moment, a captured... | ||
|
unidentified
|
A captured moment of a crazy time, man. | |
| And it's in Zaire, you know that? | ||
| And there's no internet. | ||
| There's no TMZ. No CNN. And he's got a fucking thing on his belt that says G.F.O.S. Godfather of Soul. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh shit! | |
| Deep! | ||
| Look at him! | ||
| Look at that fucking hair. | ||
| His singing style is fucking amazing. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you see him drop that split and catch that mic on his shoulder and jump up with it? | |
| Didn't miss a fucking beat. | ||
| he's a master with that thing James Brown must have fucked everyone He must have fucked them all. | ||
| When I seen that, I told you, that is the hardest working man I've ever been. | ||
| God damn! | ||
| That was impressive as fuck. | ||
| And you look at that and you go, holy shit, how many people... | ||
| Who's doing that today, huh? | ||
| Nobody. | ||
| Nobody can fuck with that. | ||
| God damn! | ||
| That's your heart. | ||
| That's what it's all about, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Suck it, R. Kelly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Suck it. | |
| Well, he's bad to the bone in a different way. | ||
| That motherfucker's bad. | ||
| You gotta give him props, too. | ||
| Are you kidding? | ||
| I love R. Kelly. | ||
| My favorite black Canadian. | ||
| He learned that from James Brown, probably. | ||
| Nobody makes me laugh more than R. Kelly. | ||
| I've watched every video that he's ever made. | ||
| I have the whole series, The Trap in the Closet, on DVD. I got it on DVD. He made it put out a DVD of it. | ||
| It's so crazy! | ||
| It's like a window into madness, you know? | ||
| Oh, dude, there's a new song by Soulja Boy. | ||
| You turn off your mic, bro. | ||
| This, look, this right here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is the switch. | |
| Check, check, there we go. | ||
| Rockstar, shut off his mic. | ||
| Hey, there's this new song that people are saying it's even worse than R. Kelly. | ||
| It's been so bad. | ||
| It's a brand new song by Soldier Boy called Pretty Boy. | ||
| Pretty Boy Soldier. | ||
| The video looks like it cost 700 bucks. | ||
| And the song and the lyrics are fucking hysterical. | ||
| It's just super bad. | ||
| I don't know if it's as bad as R. Kelly. | ||
| R. Kelly probably crushes it. | ||
| I don't think that could be a worse song than R. Kelly. | ||
| The thing about R. Kelly is it's not just bad. | ||
| It's just so much drama going on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bitches always be accusing me of shit I ain't doing. | |
| And he's singing about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bitch, I wish you would burn my motherfucking clothes. | |
| Do you know what would be cool? | ||
| Is you covering it like they do on YouTube. | ||
| There's all these people that got the whole thing down. | ||
| There's kids that got it down. | ||
| I should learn it. | ||
| Have you seen these YouTube videos? | ||
| Yeah, well, I've seen them for other songs. | ||
| But that one's the most amazing one. | ||
| It has no rhyme or reason. | ||
| You know, to be able to memorize that song is a feat. | ||
| Oh, this is Pretty Boy Swag? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Have you heard this? | ||
| I don't really like it. | ||
| No, it's terrible. | ||
| It's one of the worst songs ever. | ||
| But you know what? | ||
| There's so many dumb people out there, and they need stuff too. | ||
| They need stuff that appeals to them. | ||
| There's people that you play them a good song that's complicated and deep. | ||
| You play them a whole lot of love, and they're not going to get it. | ||
| They're not going to get the song. | ||
| But they'll listen to that, and they're like, Hey, God, it's my favorite. | ||
| They need entertainment too. | ||
| I like that guy though, that Soulja Boy guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like him. | |
| Everything sounds so bad now. | ||
| You know what, man? | ||
| He's just having fun. | ||
| I like that he's having fun. | ||
| I like watching his Ustream videos. | ||
| He makes Ustream videos and he parties all the time. | ||
| It's fucking like this kid's having a blast, man. | ||
| He's driving around laughing and joking and talking about all the chicks he's banging. | ||
| I mean, he's wearing giant diamonds and shit. | ||
| I think he's having a good time. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I like watching his Ustream show. | ||
| I don't like it. | ||
| I like that other song he had too. | ||
| What was the first song? | ||
| Superman? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's a good song. | ||
| That was a cool song. | ||
| Yeah, that's a good song. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People love that motherfucking song. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he's young, too. | ||
| He's like 20 years old or something like that. | ||
| I mean, how do you expect him to act? | ||
| This is perfect. | ||
| I like what he's doing. | ||
| I think he's doing a great job. | ||
| He's keeping it friendly. | ||
| The video is very entertaining. | ||
| Even though it looks low budget, it's very entertaining to watch them dance around. | ||
| He's very smart. | ||
| He did that thing where he got a Say Now number. | ||
| Oh, I have a Say Now number, too. | ||
| But he did this thing where he got a Say Now number, and with his Say Now number, he put it on a song so everybody can call him. | ||
| My say now number is 818-237-4245. | ||
| My favorite is listening to your messages. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't really have anything to say, but keep it on. | |
| What do you think about UFC 12? | ||
| Yeah, it's strange, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's strange. | |
| But it's cool because I've used it a couple times. | ||
| It's like a little conference call. | ||
| I used it going from the airport to the hotel. | ||
| I just call it. | ||
| I set it up. | ||
| And then it goes live. | ||
| It tweets that I'm going live. | ||
| And then people wait in line to talk. | ||
| And you have your own radio station. | ||
| You're taking callers. | ||
| Like, what's up, man? | ||
| And anybody could listen to those calls? | ||
| They're all listening. | ||
| Everyone's listening, yeah. | ||
| Anyone can listen to the calls. | ||
| And all the people that are waiting to talk to you, there's 100 people waiting, they're all listening. | ||
| So it's like a radio station. | ||
| It's like a 100-person radio station. | ||
| I, you know... | ||
| I was like giving people advice and talking to people about life and joking about fights coming up and joking about all kinds of different shit. | ||
| It's pretty badass. | ||
| Is it growing? | ||
| Is that like a new thing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that Soulja Boy dude, this is where I brought it up. | ||
| He got 2.2 million friends on Say Now. | ||
| 2.2 million people following him. | ||
| God damn. | ||
| He can contact anytime he wants. | ||
| He can send them all voicemail. | ||
| That's what the Say Now thing does. | ||
| It alerts you when you get a voicemail. | ||
| So I'll put up a voicemail. | ||
| I'll leave a message for everybody like, you know, head to the fights. | ||
| Can't wait. | ||
| It's going to be fucking crazy. | ||
| I'm looking forward to this fight. | ||
| I'm looking forward to that fight. | ||
| And then I send it. | ||
| See you bitches later. | ||
| And then everybody gets a notification and then they can go listen to it. | ||
| You get contact. | ||
| It's even more direct than Twitter. | ||
| Pretty crazy shit, man. | ||
| Because people might miss your shit on Twitter. | ||
| How many people do you follow? | ||
| Do you follow a lot of people? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I follow like 600 people, I think. | ||
| Something silly like that. | ||
| Yeah, 676. Anytime someone says something remotely interesting, I'll click follow. | ||
| And I probably shouldn't have said that because now people are going to be asking me to follow them. | ||
| But when you do that, you get this endless stream on your homepage. | ||
| You can't even keep up with it. | ||
| There's so many new tweets. | ||
| It's constant. | ||
| You might lose cool shit that people say. | ||
| But if someone sends you one of these, you get it. | ||
| A lot of people follow a lot of people, right? | ||
| You guys don't follow a lot of people? | ||
| I do. | ||
| How many do you follow? | ||
| I don't remember, but I follow a lot. | ||
| Like 748. But I also delete a lot. | ||
| You get annoyed with people. | ||
| Yeah, it's super fast. | ||
| They tweet too much? | ||
| They tweet too much. | ||
| Did you delete Kevin Smith? | ||
| Yeah, I did. | ||
| I added him back on recently, though, because he doesn't do it as much. | ||
| Or, no, there's this new thing where you choose if you want the at replies or not on each profile. | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
| No. | ||
| On Twitter, if you use Twitter on the website, now if you go to their profile, there's this little logo you can click on and say show at replies or turn it on or off. | ||
| So his problem was he was replying to all these fucking people and it was just clogging up my Twitter, but now I have this little button I push and I don't get any of it, so. | ||
| Well, I don't mind it. | ||
| I don't mind when people spam. | ||
| Let them talk. | ||
| Who do you like? | ||
| Whose tweets do you enjoy? | ||
| I love Kevin Smith. | ||
| That's one of the reasons why I brought it up. | ||
| I like how he talks to people. | ||
| Anthony Cumia from Opium Anthony didn't like it. | ||
| He's always fucking replying to everybody. | ||
| He tweets too much. | ||
| But I was like, I don't care. | ||
| That doesn't bother me. | ||
| I can look over that. | ||
| People are so impatient. | ||
| Can't look over, you know, six, seven lines of text and just scroll down that annoys you that much? | ||
| Well, no, no, because it clogs. | ||
| His problem is he would clog, it would be the whole page, and then you have to go to the second page, and then it's like... | ||
| Is it that hard to do? | ||
| It's annoying. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Why do I want to... | ||
| I mean, he's using it like he's spam. | ||
| If that was your email, you would be like, why is this guy spamming? | ||
| Well, he only does it every now and then for like a few minutes. | ||
| He does it a lot. | ||
| Does he do it too much? | ||
| Yeah, he does it a lot. | ||
| Slow down, Kevin. | ||
| Slow down. | ||
| I'm just saying I agree, but now it doesn't bother me because you can turn it off. | ||
| So now I follow him. | ||
| So that was just my only thing. | ||
| So you don't get none of his retweets? | ||
| No, none of his ads. | ||
| I want to see all the interaction, though. | ||
| Don't you want to see the interaction? | ||
| No, I'll just go to his page or something. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Part of the fun for me, though, is watching people interact with people. | ||
| It's like there's a voyeuristic thing to it all. | ||
| I like watching porn stars talk to each other and celebrities talk to each other. | ||
| I like watching all that shit. | ||
| I like everything. | ||
| I'm watching just regular normal weirdos talk about different things. | ||
| I watch people getting douchey with each other. | ||
| It's fascinating. | ||
| It's like a little community. | ||
| Man, this fucking podcast lost energy. | ||
| Feel that shit? | ||
| It's hard doing two days in a row. | ||
| Oh, it's not. | ||
| It's not that hard. | ||
| It's like anything I want to talk about, I've already talked about. | ||
| I did the Tom Likens podcast last night. | ||
| Oh, he's doing a podcast now? | ||
| It wasn't him. | ||
| It was two of his guys, Dino and Gary. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| And I talked to him for a little while. | ||
| It was kind of fun. | ||
| I'll see him tonight. | ||
| Tom Likens is done, huh? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I didn't ask. | ||
| I didn't know what. | ||
| It was always good to us. | ||
| Guy always hooked us up. | ||
| Whenever we needed to promote gigs, always had us on. | ||
| Always a nice guy. | ||
| They canceled the show? | ||
| Well, this whole radio station switched formats. | ||
| They went, I don't know what they went with, some hits, hits, top hits, shit. | ||
| You know, that whole talk radio thing, it didn't work out. | ||
| Yeah, it didn't work out. | ||
| Damn, it was around for like 15 years, 20 years solid, right? | ||
| It should have worked out. | ||
| It's the most entertaining thing to listen to on the radio, but people got tired of listening to the radio. | ||
| And that satellite radio came along, and so much freedom. | ||
| Commercials kill. | ||
| You can't fuck with Opie and Anthony, dude. | ||
| They have the best comics in the fucking country. | ||
| They go on all the time, and those guys go off. | ||
| You're not going to be able to keep up with that. | ||
| Some regular morning zoo radio station that's wacky. | ||
| If you want to listen to something funny in the morning and you have the option of Opie and Anthony or some morning fucking nonsense zoo that's all censored, you're not going to listen to them. | ||
| Dude, I use podcasts now. | ||
| I don't even need satellite radio because all podcasts are audible. | ||
| You can download Opie and Anthony every day on audible. | ||
| Well, dude, yeah. | ||
| A lot of people get this off of Audible. | ||
| They get this off of a bunch of different things. | ||
| You can put it on your iPhone, put it on your iPod, put it in your car, listen to it on the way to work. | ||
| That's what a lot of people are doing now. | ||
| I mean, that's the reason why this podcast is successful. | ||
| It's not like everybody's got the time to... | ||
| I think most of the people who are listening to this, this is like some background shit while they're working. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| So my background friends, we're here for you, baby. | ||
| All you people out there and regular people land. | ||
| Working shitty jobs. | ||
| Hey, Joe, do you know anything about the UFC being in 3D? Yeah, they've been filming in 3D for a while. | ||
| Do you know what they're going to do with that? | ||
| Do you have any idea? | ||
| Gotta talk to the boss. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| They need to get on with that. | ||
| That'd be cool. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know what they're doing. | ||
| They've been filming it for a while, though. | ||
| Very nice. | ||
| That UFC card was fucking nasty. | ||
| Very nice. | ||
| Great card. | ||
| What do you think about your boy, Roy Nelson? | ||
| What do you think he should do? | ||
| Roy Nelson? | ||
| Should he lose weight? | ||
| Bro, he got hit 50 fucking times. | ||
| I mean, it's not like, you know, that guy stood in there. | ||
| That guy takes it. | ||
| You know, whatever he wants to do, he can take it. | ||
| Roy Nelson can take it. | ||
| He can take bombs. | ||
| No one's ever stood in there with Junior Dos Santos for three rounds like that. | ||
| Do you think Roy will ever get to the point where he just snaps and says, fucking, I'm just going to watch my diet. | ||
| I'm going to get in great shape. | ||
| I'm going to go down to 205. How did his diet affect him with those punches to the head? | ||
| Do you think they would have made a difference? | ||
| He might be able to move faster away from him. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you think? | |
| Yeah, he would definitely be able to move better. | ||
| I mean, there's no way. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
To be a champion, you have to be in the best shape of your life. | |
| He's obviously not in the best shape of his life. | ||
| I know he likes to eat and all that stuff, but I'm thinking something eventually will make him snap. | ||
| He'll get shredded. | ||
| He'll be training like a fucking bad man. | ||
| I hope so. | ||
| I think if Roy Nelson was really in shape, an in-shape Roy Nelson is a bad motherfucker. | ||
| 205, he would crush. | ||
| He's got some serious knockout power. | ||
| And his jiu-jitsu's awesome. | ||
| His jiu-jitsu's awesome. | ||
| And he's impressive. | ||
| He's got a lot of heart, man. | ||
| He's not afraid to fight anybody. | ||
| He can take it. | ||
| He's tough as fuck. | ||
| Yeah, he just needs to get in shape and enough with the belly. | ||
| That's all. | ||
| And what about my man Diablo Alves at 185? | ||
| There's something kind of cool about when that fucking big belly motherfucker knocks his senseless. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I'm a huge fan of Roy Nelson. | ||
| I would just like to see him shredded. | ||
| That's my boy, Roy Rogers Nelson. | ||
| He's at Roy Rogers. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Roy Rogers. | ||
| The fucking roast beef place. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They used to have, like, Roy Rogers years ago. | |
| Is there any news on Crow Cop at all? | ||
| You was on Krokov? | ||
| Where'd that come from? | ||
| The chat room. | ||
| Don't listen to them. | ||
| Those people are crazy. | ||
| I was looking for UFC questions. | ||
| They asked about Krokov. | ||
| No, don't listen to them. | ||
| I gave up on you chat people. | ||
| You Ustream chat fucks. | ||
| You win. | ||
| Okay, I got a question for you. | ||
| I can't read it. | ||
| Both of you guys. | ||
| In the rematch, how do you think it'll go down? | ||
| Silver Sun and 2. Shit, who knows, man. | ||
| I want to see it. | ||
| You had to guess. | ||
| You had to guess. | ||
| I would never. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I'm interested in seeing Vitor now. | ||
| I want to see what Vitor can do to Anderson. | ||
| I was thinking about a rematch for a while, which I would still love to see, because it was such a close fight. | ||
| But the reality is Anderson won. | ||
| He did tap him. | ||
| He won convincingly. | ||
| And the Vitor fight is an interesting situation. | ||
| I think I'd like to see that next. | ||
| Really? | ||
| What about you? | ||
| I'd like to see a rematch. | ||
| Either one would be fine with me. | ||
| I'd be fine with a rematch. | ||
| I would love to see a rematch. | ||
| And I would love to see the Vitor fight. | ||
| I would like to see him against a different guy. | ||
| I think we have Anderson for only a certain amount of fights more. | ||
| I want to make sure that the Vitor fight actually does happen. | ||
| And if they set it up now, it can actually happen. | ||
| I think that's a big fight. | ||
| If Dana decided to go with Silva, Son in two, how do you think that would go down? | ||
| I think Silva would fuck him up. | ||
| Quicker? | ||
| At the end? | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| I think so, maybe. | ||
| Now he'd really work. | ||
| Hey man, like I was telling Jody the other night on the phone, you predicted all this shit. | ||
| And the last two big fights, they were arm bars, you know, Fedor and this guy went down at the last minute, you know. | ||
| This is the only sport that if you really watch UFC 4 and you watch, you see the evolution. | ||
| And it evolves so quickly. | ||
| It's not like baseball where they had like sand gloves in 2000 or something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, it's evolved so much. | ||
| And these fighters are the top-level fighters. | ||
| They evolve also. | ||
|
unidentified
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They evolve also. | |
| That's the only way to stay at the top level, you know, is to evolve also. | ||
| So, and Silva, you know, I don't think he, guys, everybody keeps saying he pulled this out of his ass, you know. | ||
| Oh, he didn't pull it out of his ass. | ||
| He didn't pull it out of his ass. | ||
| You don't pull triangles out of your ass. | ||
| You pull punches. | ||
| I mean, if you wing a wild punch and a guy runs into it and you're like, wow, what are the odds that that landed? | ||
| That I could see being kind of wild, but still I don't think that's wild because you were intending to punch the guy in the face. | ||
| If you intend to punch the guy in the face and you do, how is that lucky? | ||
| That's not lucky. | ||
| That's silly. | ||
| It's not like just because you got caught and you can't say, oh, he got you with a lucky punch. | ||
| No, he fucking punched you in the head. | ||
| He wanted to punch you and that's what he did. | ||
| How is that lucky? | ||
| And it was also a great day. | ||
| You can't have a lucky triangle. | ||
| You know, when they started the UFC, I know that one of the guys, the Gracies, their point was to go jujitsu against any other style. | ||
| To prove to the world that jujitsu could go up against any other style. | ||
| And that night, that really came back to fruition again. | ||
| Well, it did, but it was disproven in the fight before. | ||
| See, what was important was that Anderson was able to do something when he got put in a bad situation. | ||
| But look at Damian Maia. | ||
| When Damian Maia was trying to get a hold of Anderson, jujitsu certainly wasn't the answer. | ||
| No. | ||
| Because he needed to be able to close the distance and get a takedown. | ||
| Until he gets that takedown, his jujitsu is not going to work for him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's worthless. | |
| It's worthless. | ||
| So that's what we saw in that fight. | ||
| But what we saw with a killer like Anderson, a guy who's such a killer striker, He's got to be dangerous off his back. | ||
| And that's one of the beautiful things about Anderson. | ||
| He is. | ||
| That's why he's getting killed. | ||
| And one thing I grabbed, because I grabbed the good and the bad. | ||
| Chael Sonnen is a bad motherfucker, and I applaud you, dawg. | ||
| You went in there all nice and cute. | ||
| He left there looking like Eddie Munster. | ||
| Did you see him looking just like Eddie Munster? | ||
| He gets ugly in every fight he fights. | ||
| But bro, that guy fought his heart. | ||
| Yeah, I was impressed as hell. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| He was right there. | ||
| I would love to see that rematch. | ||
| I would not be sad either way. | ||
| I mean, I would not be upset one way or another. | ||
| Either one I'm really looking forward to. | ||
| I just thought that while Anderson is young, you know, or relatively young, I mean, I don't know how many more years he's going to want to do this. | ||
| I want to see him fight all kinds of people. | ||
| You know, I want to see him fight Hector Lombard. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I want to see him fight some interesting dudes who are fighting in other places. | ||
| John Jones! | ||
| That's the one. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Are you kidding me? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's the one. | |
| Why are we riding from this? | ||
| And I don't have a problem with the Chael Sonnen rematch. | ||
| If they decide to do that, I would love that too. | ||
| Either one. | ||
| Either one's good. | ||
| Chael Sonnen and Jon Jones. | ||
| Good googly moogly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| Good googly moogly. | ||
| Get Silva on the line right now. | ||
| Yeah, but you know what? | ||
| Chael Sonnen is not fighting at 205. He's always 185. I mean, I guess he could go up, but he never has before, right? | ||
| I mean, maybe he's fought earlier fights at 205. I don't remember them, though. | ||
| He was fighting into WEC at 185. So WEC 185 and UFC 185, I don't think he's ever missed weight. | ||
| Has he missed weight? | ||
| Not that I can recall. | ||
| So there's no reason to, I mean, Anderson had some fights at 205, liked to go up there. | ||
| I guess Chael could do it, too, though. | ||
| He probably walks around pretty heavy, right? | ||
| Jon Jones is a scary motherfucker, though. | ||
| That's a scary dog. | ||
| They just got him there in a cage right now. | ||
| They don't even know when they're going to let him out. | ||
| They might let him out on New Year's. | ||
| They might let him out for the Thanksgiving thing. | ||
| They don't even know when they're going to let him out. | ||
| They might as well just give him a title shot right away as soon as possible. | ||
| Why fuck around? | ||
| Why fuck around? | ||
| He wants to develop. | ||
| He wants to be the greatest of all time. | ||
| He wants to develop. | ||
| So he doesn't want a title shot. | ||
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
| No, he doesn't want a title shot. | ||
| He doesn't? | ||
| No, Greg Jackson is the guy who guides him, right? | ||
| Greg Jackson said to me that what he wants to do is make sure that he's tested. | ||
| Before he fights for the title, he wants him to really be tested and really to get worn on. | ||
| Greg Jackson's a smart guy. | ||
| He's a smart man. | ||
| He's a smart tactician. | ||
| He got tested at 205. He ran through Brandon Vera, Matt Hamill, and Vladimir. | ||
| Those are some serious tests. | ||
| Those are some tests, right. | ||
| But he hasn't been put in an adverse situation. | ||
| That's what he means by testing. | ||
| Because he's that good. | ||
| Right, but he wants to set him up with someone who may test him. | ||
| Who are the top 10 guys at 205 that could probably work him right now? | ||
| I don't know if anybody could work him. | ||
| I think he might be able to beat Shogun. | ||
| I think he might be able to win the title. | ||
| I think he's incredibly talented. | ||
| I could see Shogun catching him. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Shogun's really good off his back, too. | ||
| Shogun can dive on some leg locks and shit. | ||
| He doesn't fuck around. | ||
| Shogun's a bad motherfucker everywhere. | ||
| But Jon Jones is a special athlete, man. | ||
| He's got something. | ||
| He's got something. | ||
| The way he does it is just so confident and he's got an aura about him, you know, to use the Hicks and Gracie term. | ||
| There's some shit that Jon Jones is doing. | ||
| He's got a very rare ability to look impressive against everybody. | ||
| And he's super duper ultra cool. | ||
| That guy is so nice. | ||
| I mean, he's just like the coolest dude. | ||
| Coolest, friendliest. | ||
| He's down to earth. | ||
| He's intelligent. | ||
| The opposite of a douche. | ||
| Yeah, the opposite. | ||
| And he doesn't have a burden. | ||
| Douchebags have a burden. | ||
| They're always hating themselves. | ||
| They're hating themselves for the way they treat other people. | ||
| They hate themselves for the way they live their life. | ||
| They hate themselves for all the negative energy they've created, all the negative energy from their childhood, all that shit. | ||
| So they just... | ||
| Everywhere they go, that wears you out, man. | ||
| It might motivate you to a certain extent, but when it comes to the long race, when you don't have time for ego and bullshit, and it's all about who can race to greatness faster, the guys who have the best personalities get there better. | ||
| They get their cleaner. | ||
| A guy like Fedor, you know? | ||
| Fedor has some doubters, but I don't know about any haters. | ||
| You know, who hates Fedor? | ||
| How can you hate that guy? | ||
| He looks like a fucking dishwasher repairman and knocks dude senseless, you know? | ||
| And he doesn't talk shit ever. | ||
| He doesn't talk shit ever, and he doesn't even get upset when he loses. | ||
| When he loses, he's gracious. | ||
| He's a gentleman. | ||
| He doesn't lose for 10 years. | ||
| He loses, and he says, you know, those who do not fall down do not stand, or something like that. | ||
| You know, some... | ||
| He said it more eloquently. | ||
| It's like he gained something from it. | ||
| He needed that loss for character. | ||
| Who knows how he's going to come out in the next fight with something to prove. | ||
| Just like BJ. Anytime BJ loses, he always comes back on fire. | ||
| They're not fucking doing Fedor and Overeem. | ||
| They're not doing that fight. | ||
| They're doing Fedor and Bigfoot. | ||
| Or Overeem and Bigfoot, rather. | ||
| Overeem? | ||
| Who are they giving Fedor? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| They don't know if they're going to do a rematch or not. | ||
| But I want to see that Overeem-Feador fight. | ||
| That's what I want to see. | ||
| That's the fight I want to see. | ||
| I want to see Verdun fight Overeem again for the title, for sure, because Verdun beat him in pride. | ||
| But I want to see Overeem-Feador. | ||
| That's the fucking fight, man. | ||
| That's a good fucking fight, son. | ||
| A real quick shout-out to Matt Horwich. | ||
| He's fighting Tyler Slatis this Saturday in Irvine. | ||
| I think it's called War on the Mainland or something like that. | ||
| But the main fight is Tim Sylvia versus Paul Buontello. | ||
| Matt Horwich took the fight against Tyler Slatis on short notice, but he's always in shape. | ||
| His jiu-jitsu is awesome. | ||
| It's going to be a great fight. | ||
| I want to give a shout-out to a kid, Patrick, from Twitter. | ||
| It's his birthday today. | ||
| He's a good man. | ||
| He tweeted me and asked me. | ||
| He said his kid had the same birthday as Rogan. | ||
| If we could give him a shout-out. | ||
| Happy birthday, Patrick. | ||
| I think Hulk Hogan's birthday's today, too. | ||
| That fucking look. | ||
| Hey, it's a time for a word from our sponsor. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes, it is. | |
| The Fleshlight. | ||
| We're back, bitches. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Here's something the Fleshlight gave me that we talked about yesterday. | ||
| I don't want you to talk about that shit. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Now, why would they give you this? | ||
| For folks that are only listening, this is a limp rubber dick. | ||
| It's not real. | ||
| A pink, limp rubber dick that's made out of the same material that the fleshlight's made out of. | ||
| It's funny because they sell it like something to put on your coffee table as a gag. | ||
| Is that what they say? | ||
| What is it for? | ||
| It's just for fun. | ||
| To make you feel uncomfortable that you just held a dick in front of a man. | ||
| It's like bachelorette parties. | ||
| I was stroking it yesterday while we were talking. | ||
| Just sit there like a porn star, beating off, having a conversation. | ||
| Yeah, I used to wrestle. | ||
| They ain't fucking around over at a fleshlight. | ||
| No, they're not fucking around, man. | ||
| Did they make the green one for you? | ||
| They got a solid product. | ||
| Avatar one? | ||
| No, it's blue. | ||
| Avatar was blue, Joey Diaz. | ||
| Did you see Avatar? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| God, you missed it. | ||
| I got time for that shit. | ||
| I just watched Kick-Ass. | ||
| Wasn't that great? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you like it? | |
| It was 20 minutes too long, but the girl stole the fucking movie. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I love that girl. | ||
| It was a good movie. | ||
| It was 20 minutes too long. | ||
| I watched Bullet the other night. | ||
| What? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| That's good, too. | ||
| Steve McQueen is always an animal. | ||
| It's crazy looking at San Francisco in the 1960s, 1968. There's nobody on the road. | ||
| You know, you're just driving. | ||
| It's like easy. | ||
| You're on the highway, you're just driving. | ||
| Just driving. | ||
| You don't realize how much the population has increased until you watch a movie from the 60s. | ||
| You see New York in a 1950s movie, The Hustler. | ||
| There's not that many cars. | ||
| Everybody's just driving around. | ||
| No problems. | ||
| Now we just take it for granted that anywhere you go there's gonna be a city, there's gonna be too many fucking people, too many cars, you're not gonna be able to get anywhere. | ||
| But at one point in time, that wasn't the case. | ||
| When they first made cities, like, why would everybody live together in this one thing? | ||
| Well, because when there's not that many people and you can drive around, it's really pretty fucking cool. | ||
| A New York City with no traffic? | ||
| That would be the shit. | ||
| It'd be boring. | ||
| I hate New York. | ||
| Wouldn't it? | ||
| Why would it be boring? | ||
| There wouldn't be that many people. | ||
| Well, there would still be plenty of people. | ||
| You're still going to have some traffic. | ||
| You're just not going to have the kind of traffic that you have now where it takes you half an hour to get across town, at least. | ||
| It can take you hours to get around New York. | ||
| When it's around rush hour, it can take you forever to get out of the city. | ||
| To get to Long Island, to get across the... | ||
| It's a fucking nightmare. | ||
| It's a nightmare. | ||
| There's too many fucking people. | ||
| I swear to people. | ||
| It's an ongoing subject in this podcast. | ||
| There's no answers. | ||
| That's the unfortunate problem. | ||
| Here's the answers. | ||
| You just have to move out of LA or big cities. | ||
| In Columbus, Ohio, it was always one mile, one minute, or better. | ||
| Here, it's like 15 minutes per mile is the average or something retarded like that. | ||
| Yeah, but the people, let's be honest, it's more fun here, right? | ||
| Well, the weather's better. | ||
| The weather's better? | ||
| And for what we do, it's better here. | ||
| Yeah, but don't you think, like, people-wise, you run into more interesting people out here than in Columbus? | ||
| Well, you just don't hang out with retards. | ||
| Like, any city, there's cool people. | ||
| Like, you've met some of my friends from Columbus. | ||
| You know, we all hung out. | ||
| They were all cool people. | ||
| Yeah, no, they seem like nice guys. | ||
| Yeah, they're down-to-earth people. | ||
| Where do you think is the... | ||
| But don't you think, like, there's certain parts of the country where people are more interesting per capita? | ||
| Well, just because you have more people. | ||
| Texas is awesome. | ||
| Texas is one of my favorite places ever because it's huge. | ||
| It's like a big city. | ||
| People say that it's because there's more people, but I also think that when you get a lot of people together like in New York and any big city like that, just the sheer competition. | ||
| There's so many people in there. | ||
| Everybody's moving fast. | ||
| Everybody's got to keep up with everybody else. | ||
| No one is a faster thinker or faster talker than East Coast people. | ||
| Like New Jersey, New York. | ||
| Oh, they're angry. | ||
| That angry hustle competition sort of a... | ||
| Right, Joey? | ||
| Don't you think? | ||
| New Yorkers... | ||
| No one's more aggressive than New Yorkers. | ||
| There's aggressive people, but they're real aggressive in New York. | ||
| You gotta fucking go in New York. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta go. | ||
| People don't go like this in New York. | ||
| You gotta stop sign. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know how they do here? | ||
| Like, no, you go. | ||
| You fucking moron, I gotta get to the weed store. | ||
| What the fuck is wrong with you? | ||
| You know, that shit don't make, you know. | ||
| There's just a lot of things I see that you look at and you're like, this shit wouldn't fucking fly. | ||
| No. | ||
| This just wouldn't fly. | ||
| The other day, some guy in front of my, just pulled in front of my house and got out of the car. | ||
| And three people were behind him beeping. | ||
| I went upstairs and got my police badge and said, move the fucking car, bitch. | ||
| And he fucking moved, you know. | ||
| But it's like, I don't like that part of it. | ||
| Like, you gotta go. | ||
| Go, bro. | ||
| What's all this chitter chat? | ||
| When you have really good weather and really good conditions and things are easy, it tends to make you a bit soft. | ||
| And that's what I think. | ||
| I think there's a lot of people that grow up out here, you know, like a lot of chads, you know? | ||
| You know the type of guy I'm talking about. | ||
| Like, there's like a softness. | ||
| They don't have to deal with, like, harsh winters. | ||
| They don't have to deal with, you know, the craziness that the Northeast has to deal with. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I think people think faster in the East Coast. | ||
| In general. | ||
| Oh, you gotta fucking think, you see. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| I watched, did you see that interview with William Chatner? | ||
| He interviewed Bernard Goetz? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you see that? | ||
| No. | ||
| Is that on his show? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Very interesting. | |
| Very interesting. | ||
| I heard Bernie Goetz used to be on Opie and Anthony all the time. | ||
| He's crazy. | ||
| He just shot four motherfuckers for just insinuating. | ||
| But he proved them right. | ||
| He said, they like, how'd you know he was gonna mug them? | ||
| Well, look at 20 years later. | ||
| Three out of the four are in prison. | ||
| Well, it could be because he shot them and fucked their head up. | ||
| He shot those motherfuckers. | ||
| One was crawling and he went over and pulled the fucking trigger. | ||
| He was out of bullets. | ||
| Did you see the fucking interviews he gave afterward? | ||
| No. | ||
| He told the New York Times that mothers should have had abortions. | ||
| Listen, you don't talk like that before you go to sentencing. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's the shit you say from behind bars. | ||
| He was a stern guy. | ||
| But I think about that guy when I think about New York. | ||
| He said I ain't even giving him the opportunity. | ||
| He's out of jail? | ||
| Out of jail. | ||
| How long has he been out of jail? | ||
| A long time? | ||
| He got thrown out of jail. | ||
| It happened in 82. He got thrown out? | ||
| Did he go to jail? | ||
| What happened was he made bold statements afterwards. | ||
| His attorneys were like, shut the fuck up, guy. | ||
| So they prosecuted him for something else. | ||
| I forget the story now. | ||
| If you look it up, they prosecuted him for something else. | ||
| But he was a hero and a scapegoat. | ||
| They just don't want to encourage people to be carrying guns. | ||
| Right, to be vigilantes. | ||
| But the problem is, man... | ||
| But I look at that guy. | ||
| What do you do, though? | ||
| Anthony from Opie and Anthony, he's got a carry. | ||
| He carries a pistol. | ||
| They don't talk about it on the radio. | ||
| I guess the station doesn't like bringing it up. | ||
| But he's got a fucking gun on him. | ||
| You have to. | ||
| He's got a carry pit permit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You rat. | |
| You have to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You have to. | |
| In Texas, you can carry a gun with you, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's way better... | ||
| To have it when you need it. | ||
| You just gotta get a license. | ||
| I'm a firm believer. | ||
| I carried a gun for years and fucking bad guns and hot guns. | ||
| And I tell you what, and this is what I tell people all the time, you carry a gun, you carry a knife, you attract that energy. | ||
| Next time you get into a beef, somebody's gonna have a knife. | ||
| I never carried a knife again. | ||
| Nobody ever attacked me with a knife. | ||
| I got attacked with a knife in Aspen, Colorado. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And I picked up a fucking pipe. | ||
| But if I wouldn't have slipped the way I did, that guy would have cut me. | ||
| I picked up a pipe and hit him across the fucking leg with it. | ||
| But he had like a little fucking... | ||
| Where were you attacked? | ||
| Were you hanging him behind like a strip club at 3 in the morning? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, I was at a gas station. | |
| I was at a gas station. | ||
| And the guy was fixing my car like a big garage place. | ||
| And the guy thought I had said something to him. | ||
| I'm like, I didn't say anything to you. | ||
| My car is right here. | ||
| He's like, no, no. | ||
| You cut me off before. | ||
| I've been here for two hours. | ||
| He was just looking for somebody to stab. | ||
| Yeah, he was just a little crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| So he pulled the knife out. | ||
| He went like this, and I moved back. | ||
| And when I moved back, there was a pipe on the fucking... | ||
| You know those pipes for wiring? | ||
| They were redoing the place. | ||
| And I slipped, and I picked up the fucking pipe. | ||
| But I always remembered that when I carried a gun, everywhere I would go, people had fucking guns. | ||
| I'd go to buy a gram of coke. | ||
| The motherfucker had a gun. | ||
| What are the odds? | ||
| Once I stopped... | ||
| Are you sure that wasn't a dream? | ||
| A coke dealer with a gun? | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Once I stopped... | ||
| One time I heard a bullet go off one night when I had a gun. | ||
| 20 feet by me, the guy shot another guy at a club. | ||
| I was a kid, and I remember hearing that fucking thing, and I stopped with guns. | ||
| How old were you? | ||
| 24, maybe? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I never, ever carried. | ||
| After I got caught for the machine gun with the kidnapping, I never bore a gun. | ||
| Was the last time? | ||
| That was a good last time, though. | ||
| Yeah, machine gun. | ||
| Yeah, you went out kidnapping somebody. | ||
| With a machine gun. | ||
| Fuck yeah, no fucking around. | ||
| I wonder what you got, bitch. | ||
| Did you have the things over your, like, with the ammo? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I give up. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| That's the ultimate shit you could tell somebody. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Get some instant respect. | ||
| Tell them you were arrested for kidnapping and you had a machine gun. | ||
| Damn, that's deep. | ||
| You don't want to fuck with that dude. | ||
| That's the way to get out of a wedding. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| That's the way to get out of a lot of things. | ||
| Trust me. | ||
| I got something to tell you. | ||
| But that's the thing. | ||
| When you carry your weapon, you better be prepared to fucking carry that weapon. | ||
| I tell that to people all the time. | ||
| People are like, bro, I'm thinking of getting a gun. | ||
| Bitch, before you take that gun out, You better think twice. | ||
| Is it possible? | ||
| Here's the question. | ||
| Is it possible for human beings to ever evolve past this? | ||
| Is it possible for people to ever evolve past violence and bullshit and lies and hate? | ||
| Is it possible? | ||
| Or do we need it? | ||
| We need it because it fuels. | ||
| It makes you appreciate love more. | ||
| It makes you struggle more. | ||
| It makes the competition greater. | ||
| You always say, think about what's going on. | ||
| Think about that a half a world away. | ||
| Everybody's got a machine gun shooting at each other right now. | ||
| You could be walking in Israel and fucking on a bus going home and somebody comes up and says, fuck the Jews! | ||
| And they fucking pull a switch and there you are. | ||
| But on a smaller scale, if people can be... | ||
| Is it just a certain amount? | ||
| Is it a certain number? | ||
| Is it like, after a certain number, you can't be friends with everybody? | ||
| I mean, how the fuck do wars get started? | ||
| I mean, it doesn't get started with a group as small as us, right? | ||
| It's not four people. | ||
| So, if four people can get along, what are the numbers? | ||
| What are the numbers where everybody can have a good, healthy community? | ||
| I think every 20 people, there's one bad motherfucker. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| But if you can get rid of them, what's a manageable size? | ||
| Like, if you wanted to start a tribe, all your own people, what's a manageable size where everybody can be cool with each other? | ||
| Nobody's going to have any problems with each other. | ||
| We're all going to be friendly. | ||
| Everyone's going to be right. | ||
| Two? | ||
|
unidentified
|
One. | |
| One and a cat. | ||
| One and a cat. | ||
| One and a cat in a fleshlight. | ||
| It's impossible? | ||
| Listen man, in drama sometimes you need it. | ||
| I think so too. | ||
| Change, there's an expression I can't remember right now, that fucking joint kill. | ||
| I've said this before and it sounds crazy, but I think it's all a mathematical equation. | ||
| I think everything you do in this life, all the people you come in contact with, all your actions, all your emotions... | ||
| It's all part of a giant equation, and everybody's equation is piling up together. | ||
| Everybody's numbers, everybody what you're doing is affecting me, what I'm doing is affecting him. | ||
| We're all doing it together, and we're working towards some fucking crazy goal that we just can't see. | ||
| I believe that. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| Didn't Zeus, wasn't Zeus the god of war? | ||
| What was the mythology? | ||
| Zeus? | ||
| Well, Thor was the god of thunder. | ||
| Zeus was the god of war? | ||
| One of those guys sent his son. | ||
| He was a bad motherfucker. | ||
| The grand pupa. | ||
| One of those guys sent their son down to see what was going on. | ||
| And this motherfucker came back and they talked about war, all the damage this guy had done, his son. | ||
| And when he went to Zeus and he asked his son, what the fuck is going on? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| What are you chopping these heads off? | ||
| He says, without war there's no change. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Something to do with it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But the question is, can we evolve past this? | ||
| The problem is you look at the numbers. | ||
| You look at sustainability, like just the sheer numbers of human beings, and then you look at the amount of space that we have, and you've got to think, if we're at like six or seven billion now, what's going to happen when it's 20 billion? | ||
| What's going to happen when it's 80 billion? | ||
| Well, there's a shitload of land, though. | ||
| So there's tons and tons of land. | ||
| If you just go to Ohio, there's just... | ||
| Millions and millions of acres of land. | ||
| So you think everybody's just moved to Ohio? | ||
| I'm just saying there's a lot of states out there, like South Dakota and stuff like that. | ||
| There's just fucking land everywhere. | ||
| And who's growing their food? | ||
| Mexico. | ||
| Where are they getting their meat? | ||
| Mexico. | ||
| Oh, Mexico. | ||
| Japan. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know, man. | ||
| That's what I worry about. | ||
| That's the kind of shit that fills my head up every day. | ||
| Stop thinking about it. | ||
| Get drunk. | ||
| We've got to get you some Merlot, man. | ||
| Take away your weed and take away your Merlot. | ||
| It's your birthday. | ||
| We've got to start drinking. | ||
| Let's have some shots. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's your birthday. | |
| Where's your jack? | ||
| Let's have some shots. | ||
| You got tequila? | ||
| I've got to drive. | ||
| I'm not really into drinking, just hanging around with a bunch of men. | ||
| It's your birthday. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
| We'll go in the tank together. | ||
| It's your birthday. | ||
| I'm not looking for birthday shots. | ||
| Thank you, though. | ||
| Appreciate it. | ||
| How about birthday high fives? | ||
| What are you doing tonight? | ||
| What are you doing tonight, dog? | ||
| I'm going out. | ||
| Are you? | ||
| With everybody? | ||
| The Olive Garden? | ||
| Olive Garden, huh? | ||
| Going to the Olive Garden? | ||
| It's my favorite. | ||
| When you're there, you're family. | ||
| No, you didn't say it right, bitch. | ||
| Say it the right way. | ||
| When you're here, you're family! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey! | |
| Hey! | ||
| There was that show that used to be on Sirius, the Wise Guy show. | ||
| You remember that show? | ||
| I never heard it. | ||
| I have the heart to hear that show. | ||
| It was that for two hours. | ||
| It's not even on no more? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, let's go to York. | |
| No, they don't have it anymore. | ||
| They don't have it anymore. | ||
| Part of it made me nostalgic. | ||
| Part of it made me remember all these idiots that I knew back in New York. | ||
| Very, very specific part of the country, huh? | ||
| Very specific. | ||
| It's going to be interesting. | ||
| UFC is in Boston. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| That's what we're going to talk about. | ||
| I was going to ask you about this. | ||
| What do you think so far? | ||
| BJ and fucking Frankie Edgar too is going to be interesting, man. | ||
| That's going to be interesting as fuck because you know BJ is going to come out angry. | ||
| I think BJ is going to try to take Frankie Edgar down. | ||
| I think you're right. | ||
| I'm trying to strangle him. | ||
| I think you're totally right. | ||
| All he did in that fight was stand and bang with him and try to stuff the takedown. | ||
| I think BJ learned a lesson in that fight. | ||
| He's going to come back stronger than ever. | ||
| But Frankie Edgar's coming back stronger than ever, too, man. | ||
| Frankie Edgar's better in every fight. | ||
| Every time that dude fights, you see a new, improved version of him. | ||
| After he beat Sean Shirk, and then after he beat Matt Veach and strangled Matt Veach, I was like, this guy is fucking getting better, man. | ||
| He's getting better. | ||
| And then when he beat BJ, dude, he's going to be even better now. | ||
| Coming into this fight, he's going to kick it up another notch. | ||
| And he's not getting tired. | ||
| The thing about that dude, he does not get tired. | ||
| He can go five, five minute rounds, full clip, and he's good. | ||
| He's good. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| He doesn't get tired. | ||
| He was just as fast in the fucking fifth round as he was in the third, as he was in the second. | ||
| You think he gets tired at night? | ||
| I think he goes night-night. | ||
| I think he gets some warm milk. | ||
| And maybe someone reads him a story. | ||
| I can't get tired, Joe. | ||
| And then he goes night-night. | ||
| The only thing about my man James Toney, Randy Couture. | ||
| James Toney, Randy Couture is a fucking fascinating fight, man. | ||
| I loved it. | ||
| I love, first of all, the fact that James Toney is the first guy who's like a real professional boxer at a high level, stepping into MMA. And yeah, he's 41, but he's still got skills, dude. | ||
| James Toney's still a bad motherfucker. | ||
| 48. 47, I believe, yeah. | ||
| But the thing is, he's doing the right things. | ||
| He's training with Antonio McKee. | ||
| He's training with Mo Lawal. | ||
| He's training with King Mo. | ||
| He's training with wrestlers. | ||
| They're teaching him how to try to stand up. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| All he has to do, though, realistically, all he has to do is stuff one tank down. | ||
| Stuff one tank down and get close enough to get a hand free. | ||
| Just get close enough. | ||
| Just have a position where he's got a little bit of distance he created and fucking BLAM! All he has to do is one with those four ounce gloves. | ||
| I'm not saying he can do it, but I'm saying if he can do it, chances are he's going to fuck Randy up if he can land it. | ||
| My sources tell me he's not training at all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shh! | |
| This is bad for the promotion, Eddie Bravo. | ||
| Oh no, he's training a lot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, Eddie. | ||
| Did I just fuck it up? | ||
| I think you might have fucked it up. | ||
| That's part of the promotion. | ||
| Has he been training? | ||
| It's today's opposite day, by the way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This training sucks. | |
| It's today's what? | ||
| Today's opposite day, by the way. | ||
| Today's opposite day? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Oh, Brian. | ||
| What is opposite day? | ||
| Well, who knows, man. | ||
| Maybe they're putting out rumors that he's not training so that people will respect it. | ||
| But I know he lost weight. | ||
| He looked pretty goddamn thin when I was interviewing him. | ||
| He didn't look fat at all. | ||
| I can just imagine him at home. | ||
| I ain't fucking training for no motherfucking shit. | ||
| What if he pulls it off? | ||
| Fuck, I'm going to train. | ||
| Fuck that shit. | ||
| I'm going to go run for 10. This is what he said to me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, Bruce Lee? | |
| Bruce Lee got a six-inch punch? | ||
| I got a three-inch punch. | ||
| That's all I need. | ||
| Three inches. | ||
| Three inches is going to knock his ass out. | ||
| That's all I need. | ||
| And he's right! | ||
| Dude, let me tell you something. | ||
| If he clipped you like this, just like that, just gave himself like three or four inches, it would fucking really hurt. | ||
| It would really hurt. | ||
| He could jack you. | ||
| He was giving it up to Bruce Lee. | ||
| He's like, you know, Bruce Lee's a bad motherfucker. | ||
| He got it wrong, though. | ||
| I told it to Dana. | ||
| Dana goes, Bruce Lee had a one-inch punch. | ||
| Why can't they figure out the Bruce Lee killings and all the murders and stuff, that whole family murders? | ||
| You'd think there would be, by now, DNA or something. | ||
| They can solve so many crazy crimes. | ||
| This is a conspiracy, Brian. | ||
| This is a conspiracy. | ||
| We need to get Mythbusters on the world. | ||
| Did they just give up on that whole thing? | ||
| The Chinese. | ||
| They never even looked into it. | ||
| I don't think there was a conspiracy. | ||
| They never even looked into it. | ||
| Was there a conspiracy with Bruce Lee? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes, there was. | |
| Crazy conspiracy. | ||
| What was the conspiracy? | ||
| He was found dead asleep in his mistress's apartment. | ||
| So they think someone killed him. | ||
| They think someone dead. | ||
| And his son. | ||
| Why would they kill his son? | ||
| Poisoned him or something. | ||
| Fuck you and your son. | ||
| So they killed his son later and put a bullet into the gun that was supposed to be a blank gun, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| How do you get a real gun on a set? | ||
| It doesn't even come close. | ||
| Did you look into Brandon Lee? | ||
| Yeah, back in the day, yeah. | ||
| So what were the details? | ||
| You don't think that it was incompetence? | ||
| No! | ||
| Why would there be a... | ||
| Alright, you have props for movies and stuff like that. | ||
| You don't use real guns. | ||
| There's not even a real gun on Warner Brothers except in the security guys' pockets, you know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| But you don't mix fucking fake guns with real guns. | ||
| That's impossible, you know? | ||
| Well, it's not that it's not a real gun. | ||
| It's a real gun. | ||
| It's just shooting a blank. | ||
| Right, but those guns can't shoot real... | ||
| People have died by taking those guns and putting them up to their head with no bullet in it, and it's blowing their brains out. | ||
| You know that, right? | ||
| Right, but that's not what happened. | ||
| Well, I know. | ||
| What happened, what I read, was that there was something in the barrel, and that as he fired the blank, something, whatever, was in the barrel. | ||
| We should probably look it up. | ||
| I mean, we're talking out of our ass, but he did get shot and killed on a set. | ||
| I always felt that the father got ice because when he left Run Run Shaw and those motherfuckers to come to the United States to shoot Enter the Dragon, that was his end. | ||
| See, Run Run Shaw, that was big heroin money. | ||
| I'm telling you this from the heart. | ||
| If you know anything about that, you check out that company. | ||
| The people who made Fist of Fury and Chinese Connection, they invested. | ||
| You know what it cost to make the Chinese Connection? | ||
| How much? | ||
| 80,000. | ||
| Really? | ||
| You know how many times they made that over? | ||
| Do the fucking math, my friend. | ||
| How much do you think that movie's made? | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| There was no explosions. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's no 3G. There's no 3D. There's no SAG. How much do you think The Chinese Connection has made? | |
| $10 a day for all those Japanese guys. | ||
| So you're saying that the company that made Fist of Fury, the big boss... | ||
| The people who put up the producers on that, if you know anything about Raymond Chow... | ||
| It's all heroin? | ||
| They were money laundering. | ||
| It's money laundering, guys. | ||
| You've got to make up to have this Mercedes. | ||
| I've got to make money to make this Mercedes. | ||
| I gotta make it to cover this. | ||
| How am I doing this? | ||
| He made three movies. | ||
| They were all box office fucking worldwide smashes. | ||
| One was bigger than the other. | ||
| And I come to you and I go, hey, I'm out. | ||
| Now, if anybody knows anything about anything, Mafia concept ain't even Italian. | ||
| Those morons could never figure that out. | ||
| It's fucking Chinese. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Look at Japan. | ||
| When you fuck up in the mafia in Japan, don't they cut your fucking finger? | ||
| Or don't you have to cut it off? | ||
| If I told you to cut your finger off, what were the chances? | ||
| You understand me? | ||
| These people don't fuck around. | ||
| They're not white. | ||
| They're not soft. | ||
| These people don't fuck around. | ||
| So they were making tons of money making his movies. | ||
| Printing money. | ||
| And he decided to leave them. | ||
| And he decided to go to Warner Brothers to make Enter the Dragon. | ||
| And so they killed him. | ||
| They gave him a little taste. | ||
| But not the taste they were waiting on. | ||
| Not the big taste they were waiting on. | ||
| They made Raymond Chow a little partner. | ||
| And then they gave him a piece of Death Hunt with Charles Bronson. | ||
| It wasn't enough. | ||
| So you really think that's what happened? | ||
| Any other ideas? | ||
| Oh, I mean, I don't know. | ||
| Officially, it was a brain aneurysm. | ||
| It's a brain aneurysm. | ||
| Well, when someone shoots you in the head, your brain bleeds, right? | ||
| It's mysterious. | ||
| Nobody knows nothing. | ||
| I mean, he was 33 years old. | ||
| He was in perfect health. | ||
| He could have been poisoned. | ||
| The death certificate can say anything. | ||
| We could have paid for this. | ||
| The Chinese could have paid for this all across the line. | ||
| know that's a corrupt country like any other place like that they could have paid doctors to say whatever the fuck they would have said they buried him and that's it why hasn't linda lee said let's dig up the motherfucking body and see what's really crackalacking because they probably gave her she knows they killed her son to boot bro so your husband and your fucking son dies this is a coincidence was there any threats on his life I don't think so. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| After reading how it actually happened, I guess they were using blanks, but they were rushed at a time. | ||
| So they took real bullets and took out the powder out of the bullets that I guess would also make a blank. | ||
| But what happened is somebody unknown fired those blanks and they reinserted bullets on top of it, like more blanks. | ||
| And so it exploded and a piece of the bullet flew out of it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or something like that. | ||
| What a crazy way to die. | ||
| Because not only are we going to shoot you, we're going to shoot you on fucking camera. | ||
| Isn't that the craziest shit? | ||
| How come that video's not on YouTube? | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| There's just so many doubts. | ||
| It's just weird. | ||
| I don't want to watch it, by the way. | ||
| There's so many doubts with both of their deaths that it's not, you know, it's just not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is there a Brandon Lee? | |
| It sounds like it could be just a coincidence. | ||
| I was a kid and all of a sudden he was dead and buried and gone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's it. | |
| And then the movie came out two weeks later because he died before the movie came out. | ||
| It's perfect timing. | ||
| He died two weeks before the movie came out. | ||
| He died July 16th or something like that, and the movie came out eight days later or something. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| They were filming the movie, and they were done filming, and then they released it eight days later after he died? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| The movie was done. | ||
| The movie was done. | ||
| Two weeks before they released it, he died. | ||
| He died. | ||
| Wait, and he had one more movie. | ||
| It was Legend, wasn't it? | ||
| Game of Death, which he filmed just a piece of. | ||
| I was so confused. | ||
| I thought you were talking about Brandon Lee. | ||
| No, we're talking about Bruce. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| So... | ||
| You know, there's so many coincidences. | ||
| Now, this is American studio. | ||
| They would never kill somebody. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You don't think they would? | ||
| I think there's some crazy producers out there that would kill people. | ||
| They understand that death equals money. | ||
| Now, is there a documentary out there about Brandon? | ||
| I think there is. | ||
| Was it Legend? | ||
| I would like to see the documentary about that Survivor producer. | ||
| One of the guys in the producer killed his wife in Cancun. | ||
| And he's back. | ||
| He's back in America. | ||
| Mexican government's trying to figure out how to prosecute him. | ||
| They're going to extradite him from Mexico. | ||
| Can't kill his wife. | ||
| I'm going to tell you something. | ||
| I don't know if you've seen it. | ||
| I mean, I've been on that side of the fence. | ||
| I just was watching that Michael Jackson documentary again a couple weeks ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| About his death? | ||
| No. | ||
| About the thing we went to see that night. | ||
| Oh, okay, okay. | ||
| I'm watching him. | ||
| I'm watching him. | ||
| Does he look like a fucking dude that's fucked up to you as much as they said he was fucked up? | ||
| To do all those dance moves? | ||
| Watch the movie. | ||
| You're an intelligent guy. | ||
| You get back to me. | ||
| He wasn't just doing coke or whatever. | ||
| He was doing oxygen or whatever the fuck they said he was doing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was doing oxygen. | |
| Whatever they said he was doing. | ||
| See that one part where he freaks out? | ||
| Remember he fucking freaks out? | ||
| There's one part where they show... | ||
| Most of the movie is just all good. | ||
| They don't even get into drugs or anything like that. | ||
| It's all good. | ||
| But they show a little piece where he's freaking out with the director and he doesn't feel it. | ||
| It feels like just... | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| Remember that piece? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He had to get the right mixture. | ||
| But look, that guy was in debt. | ||
| That guy was Owen. | ||
| They were going to take his little Afro. | ||
| They were going to take Never Neverland. | ||
| How much money that motherfucker's made since he's been dead? | ||
| A lot, right? | ||
| Tons. | ||
| Tons. | ||
| They're all jumping up and down now. | ||
| Red Dragon was the documentary, by the way. | ||
| Red Dragon? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The Bruce Lee documentary? | ||
| It's Bruce Lee or Brandon Lee. | ||
| Both? | ||
| Brandon Lee. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Brandon Lee documentary. | ||
| Red Dragon. | ||
| Red Dragon. | ||
| Cool. | ||
| I'm not a big conspiracy guy, but it's just too weird. | ||
| Well, his death definitely sounds like if he really pissed off some Chinese mob guys, I don't think they would let that slide because the guy became a movie star. | ||
| If he's making some other people, yeah, I could see them killing him. | ||
| I don't know the details. | ||
| You know why they shot those movies? | ||
| Those movies cost nothing. | ||
| They shot those in the jungles of fucking Thailand. | ||
| Look at Fist of Fury, the first one. | ||
| They shot that. | ||
| That was no set. | ||
| They shot that in the jungle of Thailand on a dark street. | ||
| There was no craft services. | ||
| There was none. | ||
| There was wontons and a fucking tent with Chinese music on. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It's crazy when you think about how recent movies really are. | ||
| What a recent invention. | ||
| I mean, movies were, you know, I believe in the 1900s they were silent, right? | ||
| When did they start making sound movies? | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| Uh, 40, 50s. | ||
| And by the way, that was Bruce Lee, not Brandon Lee, sorry. | ||
| What was? | ||
| That Red Dragon. | ||
| Oh, that was the documentary on Brandon Lee. | ||
| Bruce Lee, not Bruce Lee. | ||
| Bruce Lee, okay. | ||
| But I think it was like 1940s, I would say. | ||
| Yeah, when you think about how recent invention movies are. | ||
| The crazy thing about the whole movie experience is it really does program you. | ||
| We have like some certain things that we want to see in life. | ||
| And when you show them to us, we have a natural inclination to follow successful people. | ||
| It's natural. | ||
| Follow someone who's better than you. | ||
| Learn how to be better than you are. | ||
| Learn. | ||
| Learn from people that have already learned. | ||
| But when you see a movie, it's like the guy has all these attributes of the hero in real life, but it's fake, and he's 60 feet tall, and every time he talks, fucking music plays, and your whole system gets so confused. | ||
| Especially girls. | ||
| Yeah, especially girls. | ||
| There's a lot of people that believe that life really should be like a movie. | ||
| They're really shocked that life doesn't turn out like a movie. | ||
| How crazy was it that when Bruce Lee, all he ever wanted was a shot in Hollywood, and he got ripped off, he got rejected, he got sent back to China, he blows up in China, and now Warner Brothers wants him back. | ||
| Now they wanted him. | ||
| And then he finally gets a shot. | ||
| He gets to call all the shots of the movie and he doesn't show up to the set. | ||
| He has cold feet. | ||
| He's fucking nervous as hell. | ||
| They're shooting around him. | ||
| He won't show up. | ||
| He's freaking out. | ||
| He's having a nervous breakdown. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| Then he finally shows up and just crushes. | ||
| You watch that movie now? | ||
| Sure, there's some corniness from Enter the Dragon. | ||
| You know, it's an old movie, but there's so, like a good 75% of it just stands the test of time, the scenes, the way it's shot. | ||
| Like when he's out, when they're all out during the day and he's When he fights Bob Wall and Bolo Young. | ||
| God damn it! | ||
| Those are the best fucking scenes ever! | ||
| He was so intense. | ||
| He's moving around like Muhammad Ali. | ||
| Nobody had come along before that that represented martial arts at all in a mainstream way. | ||
| There would have been no one that grabbed the public's attention. | ||
| He was the first. | ||
| And when he did Big Boss' first movie, he wasn't even the star at first. | ||
| He was like Bill 3rd or 4th. | ||
| And then he just started directing and fucking putting together the fight scenes. | ||
| And then they bumped him up and made him... | ||
| They go, this motherfucker's just taking over. | ||
| This dude just started... | ||
| They just threw him on the film. | ||
| Last minute. | ||
| And he took over. | ||
| And then from that point on, boom! | ||
| He just took over. | ||
| I just watched, which is one of my all-time top five when I get down and dirty... | ||
| One of my all-time movies is The Chinese Connection, which was released, whatever, The Big Boss here, Fist of Fury. | ||
| In that movie, his fucking anger comes through. | ||
| I mean, he's so good in that movie. | ||
| Everything he does, he hangs. | ||
| Bro, this guy took Clint Eastwood and took him a step further. | ||
| He would kill the guys and then hang him on the street so people could see him. | ||
| Nobody's done that shit. | ||
| Nobody's ever done it. | ||
| Charles Bronson. | ||
| Nobody. | ||
| He hung him twice. | ||
| You know, why'd you kill my teacher? | ||
| Why, why, why? | ||
| Think of that last fight scene where he goes to the school and he says, this does not concern you. | ||
| I'm allowing you to leave. | ||
| He throws him out, and the three that stick around, he jumps over a coffee table. | ||
| Watch the movie, guys. | ||
| He jumps over the coffee table into a flying psychic. | ||
| This ain't no joke. | ||
| He beats the fat guy with the sword. | ||
| He puts him down. | ||
| The sword goes through his back. | ||
| Then he goes to the yard, and he fucks up two guys. | ||
| He fucks up the Russian. | ||
| Then he goes into the studio with the new chucks and shit, fucks the master up. | ||
| Then he goes back to the thing, to the school, and he tells the cops not to fuck around with his school, and the cops are scared of him. | ||
| He's talking to him, and he's like, if I go to jail, don't fuck with him. | ||
| Then he opens the door to open, and there's a bunch of people outside ready to shoot him, and he runs to the camera and he throws the flying sidekick, and you hear the fucking bullets go off in the air. | ||
| That's what killed me as a kid, not seeing my mother die. | ||
| That tormented me when Bruce Lee got shot at the end of Fist of Fury, because I didn't know whether he'd come back or not. | ||
| But think about that fucking movie. | ||
| You know who his acting coach was on Chinese Connection? | ||
| Steve motherfucking McQueen, long distance. | ||
| Do you understand me? | ||
| He was calling Steve McQueen saying, dog, this is what I got to do in this scene. | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Do you understand me, dawg? | ||
| And him and Steve McQueen were running together, and they both wanted what each other had. | ||
| Steve McQueen didn't want to be no star. | ||
| He didn't like people. | ||
| He didn't want people talking to him. | ||
| Steve McQueen beat the fuck out of Ally McGraw and went to work the next day. | ||
| Nobody gave a fuck. | ||
| He was a mean guy, Steve McQueen. | ||
| He wanted to be a fighter. | ||
| And Bruce Lee wanted to be a fucking actor, an international star. | ||
| They both had what each other wanted, bro. | ||
| Steve McQueen just wanted to piss on people and fuck people up. | ||
| He called police one time and said, dog, let's take a ride. | ||
| This producer died. | ||
| I'm going to go piss on his grave like I told him when he fired me from that movie. | ||
| Steve McQueen wasn't a nice guy. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| What did he die of? | ||
| Cancer. | ||
| He went to Mexico and couldn't get healed. | ||
| Breast cancer. | ||
| Breast cancer? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| End of the Dragon was so fucking strong. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bruce Lee was so amazing that... | |
| Then they put out the craziest thing of all, the whole Bruce Lee thing, the craziest thing is that they put a movie out after he died, Game of Death, and only the last 10 minutes is him. | ||
| They decided to make a movie with 75% Another Dude. | ||
| It was Another Dude, and if you watch that movie, they put... | ||
| They take pictures or scenes from Return of the Dragon. | ||
| Yeah, they mix it all up. | ||
| Yeah, they mix it all up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They used photos. | |
| They used a photo. | ||
| In the first five minutes of the movie, they put a photo of Bruce Lee on a moving body, on the double. | ||
| Really? | ||
| They put a photo. | ||
| It's the worst Photoshop ever. | ||
| The beginning of that movie. | ||
| Then they shoot the whole rest of the movie with... | ||
| Anytime you get a good look at Bruce Lee, it's another movie. | ||
| It's another fucking movie, man. | ||
| And then they cut back, and then when you see the profile, it's a stunt double with glasses, big fucking glasses. | ||
| They had a stunt double for Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, too, because they had to have an excuse for him at the end of the movie when he actually does come in. | ||
| So if you watch the movie, you see the big, tall black guy. | ||
| It's not even Kareem, but you know he's going to fight him at the end. | ||
| People talk about the Seven Wonders of the World or Grand Canyon. | ||
| You know what the Eighth Wonder of the World is? | ||
| That they sequeled that movie 18 times. | ||
| We've had this conversation. | ||
| How you doing? | ||
| We're here today. | ||
| Eddie Bravo, Joe Rogan, I'd like to speak to you about a pitch. | ||
| Oh, we're all ears. | ||
| We'd like to do Game of Death 3. You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Come again? | ||
| Isn't Bruce Lee dead? | ||
| We don't need Bruce Lee. | ||
| You understand? | ||
| We got pictures. | ||
| Break the pictures down for me to show pictures and shit. | ||
| Dude! | ||
| So how much are we going to make? | ||
| That's not going to make any money. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What? | ||
| Box is a fucking... | ||
| How much is Game of Death? | ||
| I like to see it. | ||
| They don't even have what those movies make. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They don't even have. | |
| You can look up any movie on White Pitya and see what they made. | ||
| White Pitya? | ||
| Whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| White Pitya. | ||
| I still got it. | ||
| Fucking white people. | ||
| Dude, and what about the whole... | ||
| Forget about Game of Death and using a fake Bruce Lee for most of the movie with the worst editing ever from other movies. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| But how about Bruce Lai? | ||
| And then there was a Bruce Liu. | ||
| All these total rip-offs of Bruce Lee. | ||
| They just went with it. | ||
| It was like Kiss. | ||
| Now they got Ace Frehley's makeup, Peter Criss' makeup, but they call him Tommy Thayer and Eric Singer. | ||
| But they got Ace and Peter's makeup. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| Asians were so hot back then. | ||
| That's like a Cirque du Soleil show. | ||
| Yeah, but the Kiss, no one's ever pulled it off like Kiss did. | ||
| Making dudes wear the same makeup? | ||
| The guys who they're replacing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Well, at first they didn't do that. | ||
| No, at first, when they first lost Ace, they got Vinny Vincent. | ||
| He came out as an Egyptian guy. | ||
| And then when they lost Peter, Eric Carr came in as the Fox. | ||
| Fox. | ||
| So when they decided to do the reunion, they get Ace and Peter back. | ||
| Once they start leaving again, in the exact same order, Ace left first, and then Peter, the exact same thing, they go, fuck it. | ||
| Let's not start any new characters. | ||
| Let's keep the old characters, which just have different dudes playing. | ||
| So Gene was always like, no drugs, no alcohol, no nothing. | ||
| Was Paul Stanley a partier? | ||
| No, both of them didn't party. | ||
| So both of them didn't party, but the other dudes partied a lot. | ||
| Ace Freely partied like a motherfucker, so did Peter Criss, right? | ||
| Yeah, massive. | ||
| Peter Criss, I think, was an alcoholic, and Ace had a Coke problem. | ||
| Shazam, son. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You can't play guitar like that unless you do a little Coke. | ||
| Exactly, exactly. | ||
| I watched Gene Simmons' Family Jewels, the new season last night. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| They got a new skunk for his hair. | ||
| You have to see his hair. | ||
| They got a new skunk. | ||
| He's got like two inches. | ||
| It's a little longer. | ||
| It's a little tighter. | ||
| He's always had the goopiest hair. | ||
| One thing for sure, Gene Simmons will never be hosting a show about hurricanes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| You know, the crazy thing, too, is... | ||
|
unidentified
|
If he does, he's going to be wearing a motorcycle helmet. | |
| So they know Kiss knows. | ||
| I'm the biggest Kiss fan on the planet, and so are you. | ||
| But Kiss knows that, you know what, most of the people now that are getting into Kiss, they won't even know that that's not Ace Freely. | ||
| The cat, the fucking spaceman, that's more important than their actual fucking names. | ||
| Well, it is as long as they can reproduce the songs. | ||
| You just can't have the songs that Ace sings, because Ace had a very distinctive voice. | ||
| I liked his voice, man. | ||
| I liked Ace Freely's voice. | ||
| And Peter had a great voice, too. | ||
| But both of them can sing. | ||
| Eric Singer's a really good singer, and he's really good at imitating Peter Criss. | ||
| He really is. | ||
| He actually does sound like him. | ||
| Remember that song, 2000 Man? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Dynasty, 1979, son. | ||
| Side two. | ||
| Come on, 2000. Track two. | ||
| Right after I Was Made For Lovin' You. | ||
| Powerful. | ||
| That's another one. | ||
| I Was Made For Lovin' You. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Goddamn. | |
| Ace didn't even write that song. | ||
| The producer wrote that one. | ||
| That was a cover. | ||
| 2000 Man's an actual old cover. | ||
| I love I Was Made For Lovin' You. | ||
| I Was Made For Lovin' You fucking rules. | ||
| Give me some I Was Made For Lovin' You. | ||
| Find that shit. | ||
| Find that shit. | ||
| Someone remixed I Was Made For Lovin' You into a fucking house song. | ||
| It sounds awesome, dude. | ||
| Really? | ||
| They did that? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| What a great idea. | ||
| What a great idea. | ||
| That's a jam. | ||
| That was a disco song. | ||
| That's when they had gone disco, but it was good. | ||
| That was their answer. | ||
| It's good disco. | ||
| Just let them know we're in the fucking house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And then there was Heaven's on Fire. | |
| That's live. | ||
| I was making fun of you live. | ||
| Yeah, we don't want to go live. | ||
| It's going to sound like shit. | ||
| It can't be live, son. | ||
| Yeah, go with a... | ||
| They have a video. | ||
| If you go YouTube, there's a video. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, bass live, dude. | |
| Disco fucking rock it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
fuck yeah how many guys were blowing him while you're singing this What was that? | |
| How many guys were blowing him while he was singing this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a, that's a, you know, you don't want to go there. | |
| You don't want to start going there. | ||
| I think, but without going any further, I think that's the reason why Paul and Gene were such a great team. | ||
| I think it's because of that. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because of what, uh, the dudes from Guns N' Roses accused, uh, Homeboy. | |
| You guys, no one knows what the fuck we're talking about. | ||
| The dudes from Guns N' Roses accused him of what? | ||
| God damn, you're high. | ||
| We can't even go there. | ||
| We can't go there? | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| I'm a big Kiss fan. | ||
| No need to disparage them. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Paul Stanley is one of my gods, for sure. | ||
| And by the way, Ace Frehley is clean and sober now. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If Paul Stanley was gay, I'd love him even more. | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| I think he's awesome. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I hope you got some good... | ||
| I love Rob Halford. | ||
| I love Rob Halford. | ||
| The dude from Queen. | ||
| Freddie Mercury was awesome. | ||
| Love him too. | ||
| Jeff Tate. | ||
| Awesome. | ||
| I love Jeff Tate. | ||
| What about Clay Aiken? | ||
| Clay Aiken I don't like. | ||
| No? | ||
| Ricky Martin? | ||
| I don't like him. | ||
| Two down. | ||
| Nuh-uh. | ||
| What about other gay singers? | ||
| Elton. | ||
| Elton John's a bad motherfucker. | ||
| What's that one? | ||
| Tiny Dancer? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| That's one of the greatest songs ever. | ||
| Rocketman? | ||
| Rocketman's a great jam. | ||
| I don't care if he's gay. | ||
| George Michael? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| If I could touch you back. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Freedom by George Michael. | ||
| Oh shit! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hit it! | |
| Hit it! | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a great jam. | |
| There's four different parts to that song. | ||
| There's four different parts. | ||
| It's not just verse and chorus. | ||
| It's verse, fucking secondary verse, pre-chorus and chorus. | ||
| Four different parts and they're all awesome. | ||
| And the video with all those hot models, all the hot models are singing it and dancing along. | ||
| As long as he doesn't look at me in the eye when he sings that, I'll go to a concert. | ||
| I want him to look me in the eye. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What if he looked you right in the eye as he sang it? | |
| He's got a spell on me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That would be different. | |
| I would have to look away. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'd like to see if it's like Joey Diaz's joke. | |
| If George Michael could put a spell on me, he pulls out the fucking diamond encrusted dick, starts hypnotizing me. | ||
| Seriously though, dude, if you went to go see George Michael, he's playing an after party, he's playing Dana White's fucking party, whatever, and he starts singing and looking directly in the eye, would you kind of like start texting? | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| I might try to do what Joey Diaz would do, blue ball him. | ||
| I might wink at him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Again. | |
| For sucking dick in the bathroom? | ||
| Something. | ||
| He got arrested again lately? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's losing it. | ||
| He's in the toilet bowl to look up at the guys. | ||
| That's got to be the only thing that turns him on at this point, right? | ||
| That's a secret shit. | ||
| He wants to suck straight dudes dicks in toilet bowls. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh yeah. | |
| Remake the video and make it just straight gay. | ||
| Just be real. | ||
| This next album, I just want to come out real. | ||
| Why? | ||
| This is perfect. | ||
| Make it real. | ||
| Because this is his shit. | ||
| He's good at this. | ||
| I'm just surprised my dad's gaydar did not work as a child. | ||
| Because he bought this CD for my birthday. | ||
| His gaydar was not on. | ||
| Maybe his gaydar was dead on and he thought that you were gay. | ||
| He'll try to test you out. | ||
| How funny is that? | ||
| How funny was Kelly Kirsten's joke? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That she was going to fall for Ricky Martin because she had already fallen for George Michael. | |
| Yeah, yeah, that was great. | ||
| You already got me that George Michael shit. | ||
| We haven't even got to the good part, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Here it is. | |
| I have. | ||
|
unidentified
|
After this, | |
| you're welcome. you're welcome. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| This is good music. | ||
| There's no argument. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is good music. | |
| These guys are at home saying these fucking guys are out of their minds. | ||
| Nah, this is the shit that y'all listen to sometimes. | ||
| You know, dudes that are really into just heavy music, like rural grind chord death metal, they would never like something like this. | ||
| I understand that. | ||
| Keep it playing in the background. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| Just give us a little background ambiance. | ||
| This is a good fucking jam. | ||
| Yeah, I like some fruity shit, man. | ||
| I do. | ||
| I like a lot of fruity shit. | ||
| You like Mika? | ||
| I like that Billionaire song. | ||
| I like that Katy Perry song with California Girls. | ||
| That's some fruity shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I like that song. | |
| But the fact that I would like it? | ||
| You like pop music. | ||
| I like some. | ||
| I don't like a lot. | ||
| Pop music's good because once it gets in your head, it's good. | ||
| That Eminem song with Rihanna, I just like listening to her sing. | ||
| I just like her parts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love her. | |
| His parts are like, it's too much fucking violence. | ||
| Her parts don't make any goddamn sense. | ||
| I love it when you lie. | ||
| Who the fuck loves it when you lie? | ||
| Everyone hates that shit. | ||
| I don't get the lyrics. | ||
| I don't care what she's saying. | ||
| I just love her voice. | ||
| Her voice is awesome. | ||
| Rihanna is definitely one of my favorite movies. | ||
| It's so soulful. | ||
| And there's something, just a terrible thing to say, there's something extra sexy about her and there's something extra attractive about her that she got her ass kicked by that dude. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| There's something about her that, like, she's been through some shit. | ||
| Now I can understand this girl's pain. | ||
| This is legit. | ||
| Okay, this girl's crying. | ||
| She is crying. | ||
| A man she loved beat the fuck out of her and the whole world knows about it. | ||
| She's allowed to be in pain. | ||
| She's allowed to be twisted. | ||
| She's allowed to cry. | ||
| And, you know, like, that's legit. | ||
| It's like when Tupac went to jail. | ||
| He came out better than ever. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| Dropping Tupac into this motherfucker. | ||
| She can sing painful songs better than anybody. | ||
| I didn't even know who she was until she got beat up. | ||
| How sad is that? | ||
| I didn't know who she was or he was. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| When I first heard Umbrella before it was huge, I don't even like R&B. When I heard that song, I knew it was going to be fucking huge. | ||
| I'm like, whoever the fuck that is, that is a great song. | ||
| And then it blew the fuck up. | ||
| Because basically you pull the vocals out of Umbrella. | ||
| That could be a Depeche Mode song. | ||
| That could be anything. | ||
| It's alternative music with an R&B chick over it. | ||
| With a hip-hop drum beat. | ||
| It's fucking perfect. | ||
| Music, man. | ||
| Doesn't even make any sense. | ||
| Un-fucking-believable. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense how much it impacts just a bunch of sound and people talking. | ||
| It's your frequency and the song's frequency. | ||
| Does it resonate with yours? | ||
| That's all. | ||
| It's real simple. | ||
| It's science. | ||
| It's amazing, though. | ||
| It's amazing that something like that is real. | ||
| You know, that people don't respect it. | ||
| I mean, when you get really baked and you start thinking about music, people who don't smoke pot, they don't even know what music sounds like. | ||
| You don't. | ||
| You really don't. | ||
| You actually don't. | ||
| You're missing about 30% of it. | ||
| You're missing some extra layers that you wouldn't even see or hear. | ||
| Try listening to Seal when you're baked. | ||
| Seal? | ||
| That song Kissed by a Rose. | ||
| I was a big Seal fan back in the day. | ||
| Listen to that shit with some headphones on when you're baked. | ||
| There's like cymbals out here. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| The sound's so well engineered and crafted. | ||
| You know, it all flows together. | ||
| That dude was a bad motherfucker. | ||
| He was a bad motherfucker. | ||
| That was some other shit that I didn't like admitted to people. | ||
| That I like sealed. | ||
| I liked Seal's second album. | ||
| The first two albums were good, man. | ||
| Crazy was on the first album. | ||
| Oh, he was great. | ||
| And that second album, man, they had like six, seven really good songs on that thing. | ||
| Quality shit. | ||
| I'll tell you what I listened to yesterday. | ||
| The first album, unbelievable, Sade. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, classic. | ||
| Oh, the first two albums. | ||
| And then the one she did for the movie when the guy bought the million dollars. | ||
| The guy gave Demi more than a million dollars when she's rolling around the money. | ||
| What's that song? | ||
| Gave you love. | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| That was a bad motherfucker. | ||
| I love chicks. | ||
| Oh, me too. | ||
| Chicks singing. | ||
| My favorite chick to listen to. | ||
| My favorite chick all the time is Sarah McLachlan. | ||
| She just crushes everybody, man. | ||
| She does, but... | ||
| Smashes elsewhere. | ||
| Forget about it. | ||
| Sheryl Crow has a different element to her. | ||
| Yeah, Sheryl Crow has a different... | ||
| She's got more two hours of pain. | ||
| Sheryl Crow, yeah. | ||
| Fumbling Towards Ecstasy by Sarah McLachlan. | ||
| Get that motherfucker. | ||
| The whole album. | ||
| The whole fucking album is amazing. | ||
| Crimes of Passion by Pat Benatar. | ||
| Deeper than a motherfucker. | ||
| Deeper than a motherfucker. | ||
| Crimes of Passion. | ||
| Her husband was fucking killing that guitar on Crimes of Passion. | ||
| You know what's a great jam? | ||
| Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock. | ||
| That fucking song. | ||
| What is that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woke up one night in my motel. | |
| Yeah, what is it? | ||
| What is the name of that song? | ||
| It's her voice in that song. | ||
| Her voice in that song is so good. | ||
| What about that fucking chick? | ||
| The chick from Missing Persons, man. | ||
| Remember Terry Bozio? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Remember that? | |
| Oh, I went to see him first, bro. | ||
| Give me her voice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Play that. | |
| Play that Kid Rock and Cheryl. | ||
| Walking in LA. I just want to hear her part of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Everybody knows how much I love this next song. | |
| Why do you keep going live, son? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You and me are first. | |
| We were very, very, very close. | ||
| Live are the first ones. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Please welcome my favorite singer The hot, sexy, talented Sheryl Crow! | |
| I like her way less because of that interview. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The introduction, rather. | |
| Who's this annoying chick? | ||
| Who said that? | ||
| It looked like Pamela Anderson. | ||
| Oh, that's who it is, of course. | ||
| Can we do the camera thing again? | ||
| Last time, so people can watch? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like how you, that was a smart thing you did. | |
| His part is cool because I like some country music and I think this is kind of interesting. | ||
| But man, when that bitch starts singing, it makes me want to curl up in a fetal position and take a nap. | ||
| I want to go back to the womb. | ||
| It just makes me like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I've been fueling up on Coors Light and Jim being black. | |
| Man, he sounds like a country rock star. | ||
| Yeah, he is. | ||
| He does a lot of songs like that. | ||
| Last album was all country. | ||
| Really? | ||
| He's a bad motherfucker. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like his shit, man. | |
| I like his country music. | ||
| But here's what gets you. | ||
| Come on, Cheryl. | ||
| Is this an original song or a cover? | ||
| I think it's an original song, but I don't know. | ||
| I could be wrong. | ||
| Could be some shit from the 40s. | ||
| Yeah, it's original. | ||
| Kid Rock wrote it. | ||
| Did he? | ||
| Really? | ||
| I believe so. | ||
| Powerful Kid Rock. | ||
| Here it comes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I caught you last night in the hotel Everyone knows that they won't tell But they'll have on the smiles Tell me something just ain't right I love her voice. | |
| I've been waiting on you for a long time Feeling up on her next and she's been here. | ||
| We're watching Chick Zingers. | ||
| I got a soft spot for Sheryl Crow. | ||
| There's a lot of pissed off people out there right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck happens? | |
| They're growing tits! | ||
| We gotta take it back to... | ||
| You know what? | ||
| We need to balance it. | ||
| You need to put the new Slayer just for like two bars. | ||
| It's not a good version of it anyway, man. | ||
| The best version is a studio version. | ||
| You need to put Angel of Death on really quick. | ||
| Her fucking voice is so awesome. | ||
| You guys should keep going. | ||
| No, we're done. | ||
| Oh, it's 420. Get out of here. | ||
| Best time to end, 420. We're sorry we subjected you to that music, but we smoked marijuana. | ||
| It sounded really awesome to us, and we thought it would have been a fun thing to do. | ||
| I still love Sheryl Crow's music. | ||
| Sorry about that, all you carcass and creator fans. | ||
| But I like Nas, too, son, and much respect to the fleshlight. | ||
| Fleshlight.com or go to Joe's website and click on Fleshlight to get 15%. | ||
| Much respect to Eddie Bravo, Jiu Jitsu master, music producer. | ||
| You can catch him, Eddie Bravo on Twister, at Eddie Bravo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Much respect to Mad on Twister? | ||
| What did you say? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Twitter. | |
| Eddie on Twitter. | ||
| Did I say Twister? | ||
| Twister. | ||
| That's his nickname, is the Twister. | ||
| Eddie Bravo on Twitter, and you find him on MySpace. | ||
| You still rocking MySpace? | ||
| I go there once every 10 days just to peek in. | ||
| I got friends. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a mess. | |
| So many profiles have been deleted. | ||
| My top friends are like, dudes, I don't even know. | ||
| And they're like, damn, you got me on your top friends list. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's cool. | |
| I gave up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I gave up a while ago. | |
| There's certain trends you just feel compelled to follow in abandoning MySpace, even though it helped me quite a bit. | ||
| As soon as Jordy Fox left, our pal Jordy, who worked over there, as soon as Jordy left, I'm like, all right, I'm done. | ||
| Well, I send people that want to listen to my music. | ||
| My music videos are up there. | ||
| They're not on Facebook. | ||
| So if you want to check out my music, myspace.com slash thetwister. | ||
| Why don't you have a section of your website that's just dedicated to that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're about to do it. | |
| It's about to drop. | ||
| New website's about to drop. | ||
| In about a week or two, we've got the new website going up. | ||
| Meanwhile, it's still going to be 10thplanetjj.com, so it's all good. | ||
| You will see Joey Diaz with me this Saturday night at the Canyon Club. | ||
| We're rocking in the Canyon Club in Agoura Hills. | ||
| If you've never been there, it's an old school rock and roll barn out in the middle of fucking Agoura. | ||
| It's the shit. | ||
| Ted Nugent's there next week. | ||
| I'm very disappointed I'm going to miss Uncle Ted. | ||
| I would love to watch that. | ||
| But it's going to be me and Joey, and we're going to be there this Saturday night. | ||
| So come on down. | ||
| And thank you for all the birthday wishes, and thanks for tuning into the podcast every week, and thanks for tuning into this one, our extra special Happy Birthday Day podcast. | ||
| I hope you enjoyed it. | ||
| Sorry we made you listen to Sheryl Crow, but I really like it. | ||
| Later, bitches. | ||
|
unidentified
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Later. | |
| See you guys next week. | ||
| I love you. |
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