Feb. 15, 2018 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:00:10
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Boom, and we're live. | ||
| Jamie, where did you get that awesome shirt? | ||
| Show everybody your shirt. | ||
| Can you show the people your shirt? | ||
| Yeah, I picked it up yesterday. | ||
| It says, believe that. | ||
| Believe that. | ||
| It's from The Hundreds. | ||
| I saw it at the store yesterday. | ||
| What is The Hundreds? | ||
| The Hundreds is a streetwear brand. | ||
| It's a store in Fairfax. | ||
| I thought it was like a scene in a movie. | ||
| I was confused. | ||
| Oh, so... | ||
| I just saw it and I was like, oh, dope. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, that's a combination of that girl who's on Dr. Phil's show and UFOs. | ||
| Sort of, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Believe that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because Believe is so X-Files the year 1999 or whatever it was. | ||
| When was the X-Files on? | ||
| It's on now. | ||
| Right, but when was the original one? | ||
| Late 90s, mid 90s. | ||
| Believe is that. | ||
| That's that poster. | ||
| You can't disconnect them from the poster in Mulder's office. | ||
| But Believe that, that's today. | ||
| You nailed it. | ||
| Whoever made that shirt. | ||
| I want to believe. | ||
| It's a cool shirt. | ||
| Is it I want to believe? | ||
| Believe that's better. | ||
| But I do want to believe. | ||
| Of all the things. | ||
| Of all the stupid things. | ||
| I would love to believe that someone got real footage of UFOs. | ||
| More than almost any other weird Bigfoot type Loch Ness monster. | ||
| All the really nutty shit. | ||
| If they could find out one of those was true. | ||
| Fucking aliens number one, right? | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Even if you just knew for sure that you saw a real ship. | ||
| Or if the aliens looked like Bigfoot. | ||
| Then you'd kill two birds with one stone. | ||
| That was an actual theory. | ||
| Some of these Bigfoot people are so... | ||
| There's spectrums of Bigfoot people, man. | ||
| There's Bigfoot people, there's people that are like real primatologists, like Jane Goodall. | ||
| Jane Goodall believes in Bigfoot, believe it or not. | ||
| It's really fascinating. | ||
| There's a whole interview with her where she says she's sure of it, She said she's sure that there's no species. | ||
| How can she be sure? | ||
| Let's play the clip. | ||
| See if we can find that clip. | ||
| Who's Jane Goodall again? | ||
| She's a world-famous primatologist who did some groundbreaking work with chimpanzees. | ||
| She essentially lived with chimpanzees. | ||
| She's so powerful. | ||
| I mean, this lady is amazing. | ||
| You watch her documentaries. | ||
| So when someone like her says something like that, I'm like, okay, well, I should shut the fuck up and stay in my lane. | ||
| What am I going to argue with Jane Goodall about primates? | ||
| And it used to be a real thing. | ||
| They used to really be a gigantopithecus, an eight-foot-tall orangutan-like thing that probably walked on two legs. | ||
| And so she believes it's real. | ||
| She thinks it did exist, or she thinks... | ||
| She thinks it exists right now. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I don't think it was taken out of context, because I'm pretty sure it was someone asked her a question, and then she gave a long and detailed answer. | ||
| Based on what we know about certain chimpanzee subspecies that are really, really hard to find, we're just finding out, I think they figured it out from the 1990s. | ||
| There's a giant version of chimpanzees that lives in the Congo. | ||
| They call them Bondo apes. | ||
| There's a couple different names for them. | ||
| But they sleep on the ground like gorillas. | ||
| They're giant chimps. | ||
| I love that stuff, man. | ||
| I just watched Planet Earth 2 the other day. | ||
| Just mesmerized. | ||
| Just physically saying, like, wow! | ||
|
unidentified
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Wow! | |
| I don't think a normal person understands what you're talking about when you say a six-foot-tall chimp. | ||
| I just don't think they know what you're talking about. | ||
| You're talking about like a super gorilla. | ||
| It's way scarier than a gorilla because they're chimps. | ||
| Chimps are scarier. | ||
| Chimps are predators. | ||
| Chimps eat monkeys, man. | ||
| People want to associate chimps with bananas and nuts and stuff like that. | ||
| They eat that stuff, too. | ||
| But they also eat monkeys. | ||
| Scary. | ||
| Dude! | ||
| They're ruthless motherfuckers. | ||
| What is this, buddy? | ||
| It's from an NPR conversation. | ||
| Yeah, see if you can find the actual recording, because it's fascinating when you hear the tone of her voice. | ||
| She says something like, I'm sure of it! | ||
|
unidentified
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Wow. | |
| Because she has this super powerful voice. | ||
| I mean, this lady is a fucking biologist badass. | ||
| She's living with chimps, man. | ||
| Just hanging out with them constantly. | ||
| Do you know what kind of a human being you have to be to be able to keep your shit together in a tribe of wild chimps where they accept you? | ||
| Scary. | ||
| They don't just smash your fucking head in for a goof. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
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Dude! | |
| Come on, man. | ||
| Well, this is the transcription, but I'm pretty sure... | ||
| It says SoundBite here, but there's no link or anything. | ||
| Oh, I know it exists, dude. | ||
| Try to find it on YouTube, maybe. | ||
| What did she say there? | ||
| Well, now you'll be amazed when I tell you that I'm sure that they exist. | ||
| Yeah, that's what it was. | ||
| That's how she said it. | ||
|
unidentified
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Well, now you will be amazed when I tell you that I'm sure that they exist. | |
| That's basically how she said it. | ||
| Did you always believe that they existed? | ||
| She says, well, I'm a romantic, so I always wanted that. | ||
|
unidentified
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And there you have it. | |
| What does it say about evidence? | ||
| She's also talking to Dr. Meldrum, who you talked to here. | ||
| Yeah, we had Dr. Meldrum. | ||
| What is his full name? | ||
| Jeffrey Meldrum. | ||
| Jeffrey Meldrum. | ||
| And he's a professor, right? | ||
| I think he brought in the... | ||
| The Bigfoot foot. | ||
| He was the guy. | ||
| Dr. Meldrum was a really nice guy. | ||
| He also said he'd be willing to cut off a finger to know that Bigfoot was real. | ||
| I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. | ||
| Like, what finger? | ||
| Like a pinky? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| You lose a pinky? | ||
| Which one would you go with? | ||
| Pinky? | ||
| No, because you'd want the pinky because that's the farthest leverage to the other side of the thumb, right? | ||
| So it's sort of like a claw. | ||
| Maybe the ring finger? | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| The middle finger seems pretty pointless. | ||
| Is that her? | ||
| This is the interview, but I don't know where in the interview it is. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, okay. | |
| Just trying to take a guess. | ||
| Well, you're going to be amazed when I tell you I'm sure they exist. | ||
| It's like a scene in a movie when she says it, because here she is, this esteemed scientist, right? | ||
| And you're expecting, well, there's no evidence, and right now, it's just, we think of it as legend. | ||
| It could possibly be a bunch of different things that people think they saw. | ||
| Voice and delivery is important when it comes to being convinced of something. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, yeah. | |
| You think about, like, you know, all the way to just comedians. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| You know, you think of Chappelle's voice. | ||
| If you look at the transcript of what Chappelle's saying at times, I'm sure it's not that insane. | ||
| But you listen to him say those things. | ||
| Same goes with who? | ||
| Joey Diaz? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| You know. | ||
| And when it's coming from... | ||
| A scientist with long gray hair who lives with chimps. | ||
| She must be... | ||
| I mean, you think she's hooked up with a chimp? | ||
| No! | ||
| Come on! | ||
| No chance. | ||
| She lives with all of them? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know, it sounds like there's some monkey business going on over there. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, no, you didn't. | |
| You couldn't help it. | ||
| I didn't even mean to. | ||
|
unidentified
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You set it up. | |
| Here it is. | ||
| Sasquatch is over here. | ||
|
unidentified
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I want to know if you believe there are any undiscovered large ape species. | |
| Oh, here it is. | ||
|
unidentified
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Are you talking about Yeti or Bigfoot or Sasquatch? | |
| Is that what he's talking about? | ||
| Yes, it is. | ||
| Is that the message I'm missing here? | ||
| I think that's the message you're missing. | ||
| Is that right, Sherry? | ||
|
unidentified
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Pretty much. | |
| I'm out of the loop. | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
| Well, now, you'll be amazed when I tell you that I'm sure that they exist. | ||
| You are? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've talked to so many Native Americans who've all described the same sounds, two who've seen them. | ||
| I've probably got about, oh, 30 books that have come from different parts of the world, from China, from all over the place. | ||
| Did you always have this belief that they existed? | ||
|
unidentified
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Well, I'm a romantic, so I always wanted them to exist. | |
| All right, Sherry. | ||
|
unidentified
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Thank you. | |
| Thanks for calling. | ||
| She probably knows more than me. | ||
| So, you know, if you can, when in doubt, go with the person who knows more than you. | ||
| But I've never seen any, like, real evidence other than these footprint things. | ||
| I mean, everything else is just bullshit. | ||
| They find hair, turns out to be bear hair. | ||
| They find scat, turns out to be, like, wolf scat. | ||
| Where'd they find the footprints at? | ||
| Oh, they find them everywhere, man. | ||
| But... | ||
| You don't know what you're looking at. | ||
| It could be anything. | ||
| It could be someone decided to fake footprints. | ||
| It could be a big bear. | ||
| That's less likely. | ||
| But it depends on the area. | ||
| Like a big grizzly bear print. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| I mean, to make it look like a human foot, it would have to either be a giant human foot or be just... | ||
| Incredible special effects it's one of two things you know some of them they got like ridges they've found like dermal ridges that indicate They think it indicates like what like a footprint type thing, but with the with the feet of these things They seem to think that that somehow or another makes it a very very difficult to fake but People want to believe that shit. | ||
| That's part of the problem. | ||
| Part of the problem is it's fun. | ||
| It's super fun to believe that someone's not fucking with you, but that some big giant monkey just walked through. | ||
| But with every day, every passing minute of every day, it becomes way less likely that that's a real thing. | ||
| Because there's so many people with cameras. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And these people go deep into the woods. | ||
| And I think it's also, like, one of the cooler things to believe in because it's not, you know... | ||
| Oh, yeah, man. | ||
| Even if it did exist, like, we have guns and shit. | ||
| Whereas, like, if aliens existed, we're fucked. | ||
|
unidentified
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We're fucked. | |
| Yeah, we're fucked. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| So we're sort of rooting for the Sasquatches in the world. | ||
| Look, there had to be a bunch of different kinds of human being-like creatures that existed. | ||
| It just only makes sense. | ||
| They're finding new ones all the time. | ||
| They're like constantly finding some new subspecies of people that they weren't aware of before. | ||
| It's super possible that something grew to be like that. | ||
| Why wouldn't it be? | ||
| Why is that so weird? | ||
| It's not any weirder than a person or a chimp. | ||
| Both of those things are way weirder. | ||
| If we found another person, we'd be like, holy shit, look what it's done! | ||
| If we poked our head into some other dimension, and we just stuck our head through, and we saw the impact, Of a human civilization on the natural world, we'd be like, what the fuck? | ||
| That's way crazier than Bigfoot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like a human being is making tubes out of aluminum with giant wings and shooting itself into the sky and landing on different spots. | ||
| It's sucking oil out of the ground and using it to build everything. | ||
| It's talking online and it goes through the air and winds up in your phone. | ||
| All this is done by a human. | ||
| That's way crazier than Bigfoot. | ||
| That's fucking crazy. | ||
| Then you go to chimps. | ||
| Chimps are way crazier than Bigfoot. | ||
| They're hunting monkeys, man. | ||
| They're fucking forming little societies together. | ||
| Some of them are figuring out how to use tools. | ||
| And they're right there. | ||
| Like, that's way crazier than Bigfoot. | ||
|
unidentified
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Bigfoot's just a shy guy. | |
| He just wants to be alone. | ||
| Just let him find a good place to shit. | ||
| You can't find any Bigfoot shit because he's always paranoid that people are watching him, so he's holding his shit in. | ||
| I think Jane Goodall's wrong on this one. | ||
| I'm gonna be honest with you. | ||
| I don't know where, but I'm gonna go out there off on a limb. | ||
| That is a limb. | ||
| It's quite a limb, sir. | ||
| Why would you think that she would think it's real? | ||
| Because she wants it to be real? | ||
| Yeah, and you know, she said that she was talking to Native Americans about it, and you know, they're like, you know, they go off on, they're a little bit trippy, right? | ||
| Right, they might have been peyote'd the fuck up, right? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| You know, just like saying you talk to two Native Americans is like saying I talked to two white people. | ||
| Like, they're just people. | ||
| You know, just because they happen to be Native Americans, like they got street cred for Bigfoot. | ||
| That's what she's saying. | ||
| Yeah, she's made a point. | ||
| She's giving Native Americans Bigfoot street cred. | ||
| They'd be closer to the Sasquatch. | ||
| They named it. | ||
| It's like if anybody knows about almost going extinct, it should be... | ||
| State of California sued because it won't recognize Bigfoot? | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Is this today? | ||
| That's a lost lawsuit. | ||
| That's what that is, my friend. | ||
| Is there synchronicity going on here? | ||
| There's a lot of people in this country who claim to believe the existence of Bigfoot, but one California woman believes it so strongly in the beast that she's actually filed a lawsuit to prove it. | ||
| Could you imagine being the court systems all choked up with divorce and corruption and tax evasion, whatever the fuck else they investigate, and this crazy lady? | ||
| It's like, I'm suing you. | ||
| I got a team of lawyers. | ||
| We're taking the whole state down. | ||
| We're taking the whole state down. | ||
| They won't recognize Sasquatch. | ||
| We won't recognize them. | ||
| And she's just going to town, getting crazy. | ||
| She makes a GoFundMe. | ||
| And Bigfoot people, they're like super pumped when there's some action. | ||
| Something's happening. | ||
| They'll fucking donate to that GoFundMe. | ||
| A little bit here, a little bit here. | ||
| A lot of Bigfoot lovers out there. | ||
| And this chick would be fighting the government. | ||
| Imagine the lawyer that takes that case. | ||
| Is this a video of her with Bigfoot? | ||
| Yeah, she said it was 30 feet up into a tree. | ||
| Hmm, it seems real. | ||
| Where? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean... These people are sure wonderful people that really, really, really, really, really, really, really want Bigfoot to exist. | ||
| And when you really, really, really, really, really, really, really want Bigfoot to exist, you sort of figure out a way to make them exist in your mind. | ||
| There's no evidence. | ||
| The problem is there's nothing. | ||
| There's no footprints that are like attached to hair, you know, where you could get like a little bit of hair off of it and say, oh, well, this is definitely a primate. | ||
| Just none of that. | ||
| They don't have any of that. | ||
| They have these mushy, you know, footprints that people have made in the mud. | ||
| They say impossible to fake. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know if they're impossible to fake. | ||
| But I do know that I haven't seen one picture that looks real. | ||
| I've seen one video. | ||
| Everything just smells like bullshit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The problem I always have with it is it always looks like a man in a suit. | ||
| And here's the thing. | ||
| The only thing that looks like a man in a suit is a man in a suit. | ||
| Even a chimp doesn't look like a man in a suit. | ||
| They move different, man. | ||
| Chimps kind of like throw themselves with their arms and kick up. | ||
| They move different. | ||
| You can't move like that. | ||
| You can't move like that. | ||
| You can try. | ||
| You're not going to be able to move the way a chimp moves. | ||
| Especially if a chimp's moving fast. | ||
| Just get the fuck out of here. | ||
| It's like you're not even close. | ||
| You look like a guy pretending to be a chimp. | ||
| You're moving like a guy. | ||
| All these things move like people. | ||
| They move like people. | ||
| Like your brain. | ||
| That little computer in your brain that recognizes shapes goes, oh, that's a guy in a monkey suit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Instantly. | ||
| That's exactly what you think. | ||
| Because it is! | ||
| That one video with the famous one, we know that one was a guy in a suit, right? | ||
| Well, there's people that dispute it, but that's the Patterson footage. | ||
| The Patterson footage is like the most famous footage in all of Bigfoot lore. | ||
| Because this guy... | ||
| And I'm pretty sure the guy, he was arrested for something like not paying for the very camera that he used to film the Bigfoot footage. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He was arrested for it. | ||
| So the guy, okay, he's stealing cameras, right? | ||
| That's not good. | ||
| And then there's another guy who claims that he wore the suit. | ||
| What the fuck is that guy's name? | ||
| I always forget that guy's name. | ||
| That guy? | ||
| Gimlin? | ||
| Gimlin is the guy that was there. | ||
| And then there was the other guy who wore the suit. | ||
| He was a large fella. | ||
| And there's a picture of him walking. | ||
| Like, he showed how he did it. | ||
| And he walked. | ||
| And then you see on the other side of the screen the guy in the monkey suit doing the exact same walking. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hieronymus. | ||
| Bob Hieronymus. | ||
| Bob Hieronymus. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Now I remember. | ||
| Bob Hieronymus, who's a big cowboy-looking dude. | ||
| And they had him walk with a monkey suit on. | ||
|
unidentified
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And everybody was like, that's real Bigfoot footage. | |
| This guy bought a monkey suit, too, by the way. | ||
| The guy who made the film, he had bought a monkey suit. | ||
| And he said he was going to use the monkey suit to film reenactments or practice filming with it or something like that. | ||
| Some cockamamie reason for having a monkey suit. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's just like, the whole thing is so stupid. | |
| If you look at all the pieces involved, you're like, oh yeah, you guys were fucking around, and you filmed some shit while you were on a horse. | ||
| It was all bouncy. | ||
| You see this thing walking across the street? | ||
| But now they can isolate that footage, because it used to be all bouncy and shaky. | ||
| With computers, they can isolate it and get it all into one flat plane, and you watch it move. | ||
| It's a fucking guy in a monkey suit, man. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You've seen it. | ||
| Have you seen it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You watch that shit. | ||
| You go, what am I looking at? | ||
| What are you doing here? | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| But people want to believe so bad. | ||
| Yeah, I've never had a chance of believing in the whole Bigfoot thing. | ||
| It was always just silly to me. | ||
| I remember, was it John Lithgow and Harry and the Hendersons back in the day or something like that? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I grew up on that and I was just always like, ah, that's like a fake character. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| I think if you see Harry and the Hendersons before finding out about Bigfoot, it's like believing that Barney the Dinosaur would exist out there. | ||
| The only reason to give it any credence at all is the vast expanse of wilderness that exists in the Pacific Northwest because it's so lush. | ||
| It's so crazy that no one's getting in there and figuring out exactly what's in there. | ||
| I really think everyone who lives in... | ||
| This area especially, because you can get up there pretty quick. | ||
| But anybody anywhere should go to the Pacific Northwest. | ||
| I go to the mountains right above Seattle. | ||
| That's a crazy place, man. | ||
| That was way crazier than looking for Bigfoot. | ||
| One of the craziest parts about that trip was being in that real rainforest. | ||
| The real thing was fucking bananas. | ||
| It's thick like... | ||
| Like, you can't see anything. | ||
| Like, every two feet, there's another tree. | ||
| I mean, it's just thick with trees. | ||
| Which reminds me of my favorite thing, basically mystery ever, D.B. Cooper, because that's where he jumped out of that plane at. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Was in the... | ||
| Most horrible place you can imagine. | ||
| Did he do that in Pacific Northwest? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Super. | ||
| They flew out of Seattle, heading back down again, and he just hit that button on the rear case. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| They felt the plane shake, and then, boof, he's gone. | ||
| He's gonna land in the trees. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| And it seems like that, but his parachute, none of his stuff ever recovered. | ||
| And they combed that thing. | ||
| They did find like a stack of money, I think like 10 or 20,000 of the bills sort of buried at a beach next to a creek. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But for the most part, it's one of my... | ||
| Favorite fucking little, I mean, the fact that that guy maybe made off with, I think it was only, it was something low, like $150,000. | ||
| He got $200,000. | ||
| Yeah, $200,000, but back then, because this is in what year? | ||
|
unidentified
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Uh, 71. 71. Wow. | |
| And he didn't just hijack the plane. | ||
| He made the plane land, get rid of the passengers, bring the parachutes, bring the money, and have it take off again. | ||
| Like, this is way back before, you know, he just, it was a true hijack. | ||
| And they land at the airport, they're like, I'm gonna save all the passengers' lives, but here's the catch. | ||
| I need $200,000, a few parachutes, and something else, like, uh, something weird, right? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And they never found him. | ||
| They never found the body. | ||
| They never found his suit. | ||
| They found his clip-on tie. | ||
| Somehow that, like, was found somewhere. | ||
| But it makes it even crazier when you factor in that they found the clip-on tie and not the parachute and not the suit and not, you know what I mean? | ||
| Because then it's almost like he's just got his $200,000 and is just walking off. | ||
| I think they said that the money was never spent, though. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| In August of last year, they found an 18-inch nylon strap, which they think might have been a piece of his parachute. | ||
| I don't know how they would know that right away, but I'm looking up some other information. | ||
| Keyword, might. | ||
| Might have been some shit. | ||
| Some campers left behind, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I was just in Australia and I visited the grave of the Tayum Shmudshud, another crazy mystery one. | ||
| You ever hear of that one? | ||
| The guy that was found at the beach in Adelaide? | ||
| I actually went to the cemetery and visited his grave during the day, one of the days I had off there when I was doing shows in Adelaide. | ||
| And this guy was found at a beach. | ||
| This is another one of the great mysteries ever. | ||
| Found at a beach, wearing a suit. | ||
| He had a cigarette that was out in his collar. | ||
| They found him. | ||
| He'd been dead. | ||
| They don't know the guy. | ||
| There's no ID on him, no nothing. | ||
| So they keep him around for a few weeks in the morgue waiting for some type of information on the guy. | ||
| They just don't want to bury him. | ||
| And eventually they cut through his clothes and they find that there's a little pocket with a piece of paper like on the inseam of his pants or shirt. | ||
| I can't remember. | ||
| They trace that they can tell that it's cut out of a book called the time should or something like that. | ||
| I'm not saying it right because it's some old Latin word or something. | ||
| And but there's a code on it and a phone number or some or no, there's a code on it. | ||
| But they know that. | ||
| No, there's not a code on it. | ||
| it's just a piece of paper from a book okay and they have the page and everything so they go to the newspaper they're like hey does anybody uh know have this copy of this book so that we can find out who this guy is and why this is sewed in on him they don't get anything so they go nationwide to australia and try to figure out what this piece of paper is from | ||
| they find the book in another part of australia with the missing part and in that book is a phone number and a code that every code breaker ever has tried to figure out and they just don't know so it's the tomb of the unknown man. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it goes, like, deep. | ||
| There's so many theories about what happened to this guy. | ||
| And it could have been the CIA. He could have been an American spy. | ||
| He could have been a Russian spy. | ||
| He could have been an Australian spy. | ||
| Like, nobody knows anything about this guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| And they followed up, and there's a guy that, like, has some crazy theory, but I don't know. | ||
| There's a guy that has a crazy theory. | ||
| That's for everything in the world. | ||
| You know, there's people that think that the Elon Musk thing was fake. | ||
| It was a hoax. | ||
| Oh my god, I saw someone yesterday with that malarkey. | ||
| DNA just tied a mystery death in Australia to Thomas Jefferson. | ||
| Whoa, when's that from? | ||
| This is that guy. | ||
| Unidentified man found dead on Australian beach baffled investigators for decades. | ||
| A new DNA analysis links Somerton Man to Thomas Jefferson and Native Americans. | ||
| So he was an ancestor of Thomas Jefferson and Native Americans? | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| I've never read that. | ||
| Yeah, so they essentially just did a DNA test on him. | ||
| They call him the Somerton Man because that's the beach that he was found on. | ||
| You guys, you know about this Elizabeth Warren stuff? | ||
| Do you know who that woman is? | ||
| She's a politician. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And she apparently at one point in her life claimed to be part Native American. | ||
| And now, just like, won't talk about it. | ||
| Won't do a DNA test. | ||
| Won't. | ||
| She's like, they were like, do you have any pictures? | ||
| She's like, yes, I have many pictures, and they're not for you. | ||
| That's what she said to, like, investigators. | ||
| Man. | ||
| And then you got Trump just calling her Pocahontas. | ||
| Calls her Pocahontas. | ||
| It's so brutal. | ||
| She hits back at Trump's use of Pocahontas, vows to highlight Native American issues. | ||
| You know, I wish I wasn't skeptical. | ||
| I wish I thought she was awesome. | ||
| And this isn't real. | ||
| But what's weird is that I think it gave you some sort of an advantage for her to be Native American in terms of getting into certain schools or what have you. | ||
| I don't know if that's true. | ||
| She might be part Native American. | ||
| She might be like, fuck you, I don't have to tell you. | ||
| That's possible, too. | ||
| I don't think that's the best move, but maybe she doesn't know. | ||
| That is a thing with families. | ||
| Your family would tell you, yeah, your grandmother was 23% Navajo, and you're like, wow, I'm fucking cool. | ||
| It gives you an extra little bit of badass. | ||
| This is why Jane Goodall was willing to accept. | ||
| She's like, two Native Americans told me. | ||
| Well, you could have talked to two other ones who would have said, what? | ||
| Get the fuck out of here with that. | ||
| People are people, man. | ||
| It doesn't matter if you're a white person or a Native American person or whatever your ethnicity is. | ||
| There's going to be a spectrum of people in that group, and some of them are going to just be Bigfoot believers, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It doesn't matter if they're Native American. | |
| Sometimes people are bored and they want to believe in Bigfoot, so they start thinking they hear things that they don't really hear. | ||
| They start thinking they're camping out. | ||
| This one guy thought they were camping out outside his window, that they lived in the forest, like right outside his back door. | ||
| That they come near where he is. | ||
| Bigfoot. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| They read your mind. | ||
| They can sense when cameras are around. | ||
| They won't show themselves. | ||
| Oh, that's pretty smart. | ||
| What a great evolved habit that is. | ||
| But then like we were saying earlier, some of them truly believe that Bigfoot is like some interstellar traveler. | ||
| That maybe he's from another dimension. | ||
| He's a creature from another dimension. | ||
| Yeah, because creatures from other dimensions are super hairy, too, and look just like that, and that makes sense. | ||
| Maybe he's real, but you can only see him when you're on mushrooms. | ||
| Can you imagine that? | ||
| That sort of makes sense. | ||
| Imagine if you did, like, there was a perfect dose where you could see him. | ||
| You get into his world, and you see him. | ||
| Looks like Bigfoot, but he's all in, like, a rainbow. | ||
| I mean, I've been on mushrooms and seen the same thing that wasn't there as somebody next to me. | ||
| I thought it was a UFO, but one of the guys told me that it was someone playing with a laser light thing out in the distance. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| But I don't know. | ||
| It could have been. | ||
| If you're on mushrooms, it could be. | ||
| If you saw a laser, those laser pointers are so weird. | ||
| Like, assholes point them at planes. | ||
| Like, that's how ridiculous those things are. | ||
| It's kind of weird. | ||
| It's very weird. | ||
| When I was a kid, that was like the funniest thing you could do was just have a laser pointer and have a red dot appear on the wall. | ||
| Like during class where the teacher has no idea. | ||
| People were like, put that away! | ||
| First they didn't know about it, remember? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Teachers didn't know about it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those red dots were showing up. | ||
| They didn't even know what it was. | ||
| Very rebellious. | ||
| Cats love those things, though. | ||
| That's always fun. | ||
| That became like a thing in a movie, man. | ||
| Dude's got his hands up, red dots moving all over his body. | ||
| It means they had the gun on him. | ||
| That was an exciting part of a movie. | ||
| Like, oh my god, look, they got him. | ||
| Yeah, it happened to me and my buddies once. | ||
| We were speeding away. | ||
| We were underage at a high school drinking party. | ||
| Yeah, dude, it was nasty. | ||
| And the party got busted up by the cops. | ||
| Everybody ran out the back door, like 70 kids at once. | ||
| Me and my four buddies got slammed into my one pal's car. | ||
| And we're driving down the street and you just hear, stop! | ||
| Stop the fucking car! | ||
| And I look to my right. | ||
| My buddy in the middle of the back seat has the red dot right on him up and down from his head to his neck. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| We all got in trouble for that one. | ||
| Cops never know. | ||
| They never know. | ||
| Could it be young Tony Hinchcliffe and his mischievous friend? | ||
| Or could it be murderer bank robber trying to flee? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Could it be carjacker? | ||
| That cop in particular was a real, real bad person. | ||
| Like, I mean, he knew that they just busted up a kid's drinking party and that all the kids were scattering at once and he decided to stand in the middle of the street and he said that, like, you know... | ||
| First of all, he could have easily shot us. | ||
| Because you're standing in the middle of the street instead of having common sense. | ||
| There's so many other things happening. | ||
| But he could say that that's assault with a deadly weapon if you're driving towards somebody. | ||
| So he runs out in the street, pulls out his gun, almost can't wait. | ||
| It seemed for my buddy to not stop. | ||
| I mean, it was one of those shady cops. | ||
| In fact, I'm pretty sure that's the same cop from where I'm from that saw a UFO. And it was on TV when I was a kid. | ||
| Yeah, there was a big thing in Liberty Township, just outside of Youngstown, where this one cop saw a UFO and nobody could take him seriously after that. | ||
| Oh my god, that is hilarious. | ||
| But here's the thing, by me saying all this, I'm not saying that people haven't seen UFOs. | ||
| Because I don't know what they've seen. | ||
| It's totally possible that something that's capable of coming here from another dimension, especially before recently, right, would be able to figure out how to avoid detection, somehow or another. | ||
| They're probably pretty close to figuring out how to do that now. | ||
| I mean, they have the stealth bomber which avoids radar detection. | ||
| I know they have those cloaks. | ||
| You've seen those jackets that people wear where it literally shows a video of what's behind you? | ||
| It's like this new technology that they're trying to develop where literally your clothes would show exactly what's behind you. | ||
| So you've got a camera, some sort of camera system mounted somewhere on you. | ||
| And it's taking a picture of what's behind you, streaming what's behind you. | ||
| And so then, that appears on your clothes. | ||
| So as you move, you literally are everything that's behind you. | ||
| There's this weird, like, predator effect from the movie. | ||
| It's very crude right now. | ||
| But you look at it and you go, Oh, this is the future. | ||
| They're just going to become... | ||
| Everything's going to be... | ||
| The future's scary. | ||
| You watch Black Mirror? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| They make it look like everything in the future is going to make us crazy. | ||
| That show's so good, man. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| Yeah, in terms of like a show that makes you just like after shows over you just go what the fuck that crocodile expert episode rather crocodile I had like 15 friends text me after that going what in the fuck was that? | ||
| Yeah, what the fuck? | ||
| It's so crazy, and it's so good, and you can see it happening. | ||
| You're like, no, no fucking way. | ||
| No fucking way. | ||
| Like, oh my god. | ||
| I don't remember a show ever that's that powerful. | ||
| Like, when it comes to a science fiction type show? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| I mean, there were some amazing shows on before, but they were all really fiction shows, right? | ||
| Like, this is fiction with, like, a dash of futuristic possibility. | ||
| Like, dystopian future. | ||
| That fuckin' dog one? | ||
| With the robot dog? | ||
| Oh, yeah! | ||
| Jesus Christ! | ||
| What was that called? | ||
| Metalhead? | ||
| Is that what it was? | ||
| Fuckin' A, man! | ||
| You're like, I can see this! | ||
| This could be real! | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| What are we doing? | ||
| The future seems scary. | ||
| You see that robot open up the door? | ||
| Open up the door and hold it for his friends? | ||
| No. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Robot opened up a door. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Click! | |
| Open the latch. | ||
| Yeah, that guy. | ||
| Dude, look at this thing. | ||
| Watch this shit. | ||
| Just first of all, look at it and just imagine it with guns everywhere. | ||
| Of course you can imagine that, right? | ||
| Laser pointers and guns everywhere. | ||
| So this thing walks up, grabs a fucking handle, turns the door, check this out, puts its leg there to stop the door, walks the door back. | ||
| So it has some kind of intelligence. | ||
| Unless that's a programmed move. | ||
| And has there ever been anything that doesn't get up like a virus or things go wrong at some point? | ||
| Of course this is all gonna happen. | ||
| It's gonna go wrong. | ||
| It's gonna go wrong. | ||
| But I wonder if that's a programmed move like it told it the exact steps to take and it measured out all the inches and then knew the exact movements to make or if it can accurately calculate distance. | ||
| So they've given it, in a sense, some sort of electronic eyes, right? | ||
| If it can walk up to a door, grab the handle, turn it and pull it, and then hold the door open with its leg, Let its friends go by. | ||
| Like, what is that? | ||
| We're fucked. | ||
| But that kind of articulation is very crazy to think that you could teach something to do that. | ||
| So are you only teaching it to do doors, or can it just do that with everything? | ||
| That's when it gets weird. | ||
| What it gets weird is if it can create, if it can figure out, well, if it works on this, what kind of door do we have here? | ||
| Oh, I see. | ||
| This thing's just a slide. | ||
| Is it going to be able to figure that out? | ||
| That's kind of... | ||
| It's discerning. | ||
| It seems like it would be able to figure it out pretty easily. | ||
| Especially when you factor in that everything in the future is going to be more technological anyway. | ||
| Like the doors even. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like turning a knob or sliding a door is going to be ridiculous. | ||
| Because people are just going to be like Jedi's or whatever, you know? | ||
| A lot of people have fingerprint things now for stuff. | ||
| Like fingerprint things for like opening doors. | ||
| Seen fingerprint things for locks at the gym. | ||
| Just a fingerprint thing now. | ||
| That's like a new thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's why you wouldn't want to cut off your thumb out of all the fingers to cut off. | ||
| It's just really interesting to me how quick all this technology is moving. | ||
| And hell, it doesn't seem like there's any end in sight. | ||
| And most of us, like you and I, like normal people, are sitting back watching this on internet videos going, woo! | ||
| What do we do? | ||
| When do we stop? | ||
| When do we stop making robots that could kill us? | ||
| Before they're smart or after they're smart? | ||
| After they're smart, they're going to just stay alive. | ||
| And obviously, as soon as we can latch guns onto them, they're going in for war. | ||
| They've already done it. | ||
| That's what a drone is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Think about what a drone is. | ||
| What a drone is is someone is piloting something. | ||
| Just because it's flying around doesn't mean it's not a robot. | ||
| That's a fucking robot. | ||
| It's a robot airship, and they're flying it around, and they're getting these kids that are wizards in video games. | ||
| If you want to have some fucking... | ||
| It's impossible to beat armies. | ||
| You hook them up with some of those iRobot things from that Will Smith movie. | ||
| You make them all bulletproof. | ||
| And you have a bunch of kids that just play wicked video games all day. | ||
| Know how to fuck people up with Madden and that UFC game. | ||
| And you fucking send those kids piloting these things in real time. | ||
| You send them to parts of the world. | ||
| And that would be... | ||
| First of all, it would be ten times more terrifying than drones, right? | ||
| Some things running through your street. | ||
| I just thought of something. | ||
| I was going to say, the problem I've always had with this idea is our battery life that we use on stuff is terrible. | ||
| Yeah, it's going to eat people. | ||
| But what batteries are they using in those drones that are flying up above now that are overseas doing damage and whatnot? | ||
| Are those special batteries that we don't have access to that maybe in five years we will? | ||
| And this question won't be so weird to us? | ||
| Are you sure that that's the way those things fly? | ||
| I was almost just going to ask that. | ||
| I don't know how they fly. | ||
| I don't think they're gas-powered, though. | ||
| Well, let's find out. | ||
| It'd be a good thing to know. | ||
| We might not be able to find that out, I don't think. | ||
| Department of Defense stuff. | ||
| You're scared to Google it. | ||
| That's not something you want to be Googling. | ||
| You do not want to Google how far can you fly a drone on gasoline while it's carrying two missiles. | ||
| Just wondering. | ||
| That sounds like the most American thing ever. | ||
| A drone filled with gas and oil. | ||
| Just wondering. | ||
| With missiles. | ||
| That's what's happening. | ||
| Drones. | ||
| Well, we have to worry about people more than we even have to worry about drones. | ||
| Right? | ||
| This new shooting in Florida freaked me the fuck out again. | ||
| Yeah, it's happening all the time now. | ||
| It's horrific and the crazy thing is like kids used to joke around about this guy doing that someday. | ||
| That was something they joked around about. | ||
| I think that I think that the way that the news reports it and the way that it's such big news isn't helping at all. | ||
| Because one thing that I've noticed is the whole car ramming thing. | ||
| Like, that's a new thing. | ||
| Car ramming? | ||
| Where a lot of the things that are happening are people just getting in a truck or a car and just running people down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a fairly new thing that started with, I don't know, maybe that French one or something like that. | ||
| I can't remember the first one. | ||
| But since then, because they report it and they blow these things up, and then, bing bang boom. | ||
| I feel like going off of the car ramming situation and the growth in car ramming alone, that we could sort of see how... | ||
| Overly reporting these I mean, I don't know if that's even a thing or if I'm what I'm saying is making sense at all But I know what you're trying to say but the counter to that would be Someone had what was the someone made a really good analogy? | ||
| The point being What this is is only happening here We have to figure out why it's happening here so often. | ||
| It rarely happens anywhere else, but here it happens pretty often. | ||
| So what is that? | ||
| Is it access to guns? | ||
| Is it mental health? | ||
| Is it both of those things? | ||
| Is it, um, it's just far too easy to get guns? | ||
| Is it that you're not being monitored in the sense of being talked about? | ||
| And people don't want anybody infringing upon their rights, right? | ||
| But If we just sat down and had a rational conversation with someone to renew a gun license, you know? | ||
| Rational conversation with someone who doesn't work for a gun group or anything. | ||
| Just someone who could just give you a reasonable Reason why you should be suspicious about this person having a firearm. | ||
| You really don't want to do that either though, because you can't trust people. | ||
| It's like you're putting people in a position of power to decide who gets the guns and who doesn't get the guns. | ||
| It's all very, very fucking terrifying and confusing. | ||
| It seems like the AR-15 is the one that they need to keep an eye on because all the biggest ones are that and it seems to be able to mow down a lot of people at once. | ||
| Yeah, semi-automatic rifles are more effective in those type of mass shooting situations. | ||
| That's why those guys use them. | ||
| That's why they use them in all sorts of horrific ways all around the world, right? | ||
| That's what they're good at. | ||
| So then the question is, are they too lethal for a regular person to just be carrying around? | ||
| You'd want to know why a regular person wants to carry them around, and then you would realize, is that really my right to even ask a regular person why they need it? | ||
| I mean, if most of these people are law-abiding gun owners, when we freak out that one person who legally bought a gun, in this case, is a kid who legally bought it, does this horrific thing. | ||
| It's a very good question. | ||
| And it's a question we all have to ask ourselves. | ||
| Like, how many times does this happen before something happens? | ||
| And is the answer arming the schools? | ||
| That's a fucking terrifying answer. | ||
| Putting armed guards at schools, like I saw a story where someone had held up two signs. | ||
| It was like an Instagram thing. | ||
| The two signs were which one of these signs would make you feel good if you were a killer. | ||
| It shows no weapons, like a no weapon sign. | ||
| And then it also shows a sign with an armed guard saying that the staff is armed and trained. | ||
| And, you know, you're looking at the two of those, you're like, God damn it. | ||
| I don't want either one of these fucking things. | ||
| I definitely don't want weapons in schools. | ||
| But I don't want them to need weapons in schools. | ||
| That's why I don't want it there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But when they, you know, when scenes like this happen, you have to go, well, is there a way? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know what the way is, other than... | ||
| Even if you take people's guns away, god damn, you're not gonna get all of them. | ||
| There's too many of them. | ||
| The number of guns that people have today, I think it outnumbers humans. | ||
| I think the number of guns, like total in this country, outnumber humans. | ||
| Insanity. | ||
| Even if you are for guns, when the number of things that can kill us outnumber us... | ||
| Are we overreacting? | ||
| Are we crazy? | ||
| Are we stockpiling for some fucking terrible collapse that we're all afraid of? | ||
| Is that just our thing because we were like the last country or whatever you think? | ||
| Is it like defensive... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| Like crazy, scared country? | ||
| Well, there's different uses for firearms. | ||
| And who are you to say that like recreational shooters who are respectable law-abiding people and there's a lot of them out there that are very good people they just love to shoot pistols at targets they do competitions they enjoy it they like being proficient with a firearm for their own personal safety and there have been cases I think there was a case in Shit, | ||
| I want to say it was in Ohio, where some guy was stabbing somebody at a mall, and some dude who was a trained shooter at one of those shooting competition things shot the guy and killed him when he was running around stabbing people at the mall. | ||
| And it was one of those things where no one wanted to play that up in the media because they thought it was, like, irresponsible. | ||
| It's irresponsible to play up the idea of the rogue vigilante with the pistol. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But that was a real guy. | ||
| Like, that guy's actually, like, kind of a hero. | ||
| Like, if he was in a Bruce Willis movie, he'd be fucking pumped. | ||
| Like, that guy's kind of a hero. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, he was a normal citizen that happened to have a concealed carry permit, right? | ||
| I just found another similar story, I guess, from what you're describing. | ||
| In Minnesota, it was an off-duty cop that stopped somebody that stabbed 10 people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was an off-duty cop that was the stabbed one? | ||
| So I got that wrong? | ||
| Who was the firearm instructor one? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Might have been another similar story too. | ||
| Might have been but there was definitely one I'm sorry if I fucked that up. | ||
| There was definitely one where the guy was a One of those big NRA shooting competition type characters This is a terrible terrible tragedy tragedy and These terrible tragedies seem to keep happening and we don't do anything to change everybody's worried about you know, | ||
| they're Second Amendment rights being taken away, you know, people worried about law-abiding people who would never do anything like this worried about their guns getting taken away, but they And all of us, we have to figure this out. | ||
| This can't just keep going on this way. | ||
| And whatever it is, whatever's causing it, whether it's the way people are raising people, the way people are treating people, whatever fucking crazy mental imbalances that we're not treating in each other, whatever the fuck it is, whether it's biological, whatever the fuck it is, | ||
| we just can't keep, as a civilization, as a Thing that should in its best times be able to get along great with each other these little aberrations They're horrific aberrations, but they exist frequently There's so many of us yeah 320 something million people This is from 2015 more guns and people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, okay. | ||
| Oh Boy Wow, so the there's 317 million people in 2013 and 357 million guns. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| But then the people who are gun nuts will be like, what do you fucking care how many guns I have, man? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay? | |
| I'm a law-abiding citizen. | ||
| I would never do anything like that. | ||
| That guy did. | ||
| That guy's a piece of shit. | ||
| Fuck him. | ||
| And they're right, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're right, too. | ||
| If you haven't done anything and you would never do anything, Why would you get lumped in with someone who has? | ||
| If you have a truck and you would never dream into plowing into a mall full of people, why would you get lumped into the same group as a guy who has a truck who did do that? | ||
| Why should you? | ||
| It's not fair, but we still have to figure this out. | ||
| There's something wrong. | ||
| There's something wrong where there's that many more things that can kill us than us. | ||
| If a guy pointed a gun at you from across a room, do you have something in your head planned that you would do? | ||
| No, there's nothing you can do. | ||
| I would do a bunch of cartwheels and somersaults. | ||
| That's always been sort of my plan. | ||
| I feel like if I just do weird movements, you could avoid... | ||
| There's almost nothing you can do. | ||
| You know, it's a terrifying, terrifying thing. | ||
| The ability to just end someone's life with a single movement of your hand. | ||
| And we learned so early on. | ||
| I remember Duck Hunt as a kid, the Nintendo like tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. | ||
| And you had the gun? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like we learned so early on. | ||
| Well, it's just that people value people so poorly that they would do that. | ||
| This is where... | ||
| We have to find the root of what that is. | ||
| And that sounds very philosophical and hippy-dippy, but we have to examine what could possibly be inside someone that would make them want to do something like that. | ||
| What would that be? | ||
| I mean, how the fuck does that happen? | ||
| How are there in the same timeline? | ||
| We're not talking about primitive Roman days or the Vikings or anything crazy. | ||
| We're talking about right now. | ||
| How in the same timeline does a guy like you exist alongside someone who can do that? | ||
| There's something wrong. | ||
| I also think that there's something to be said about awareness of depression and psychological disorders for the older generation. | ||
| I feel like in the future, more people are going to know about it and take it as a real thing, but I still think now there's definitely a lot of stubborn... | ||
| There are parents out there that ignore it and go, you're not depressed, get up, you know, and all this, because it's definitely deep-rooted, a lack of structure in their lives, you know, stuff's gone wrong and they don't have anybody to talk to or anything, you know. | ||
| That's definitely a common thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
100%. | |
| The dissatisfaction with their current state in life, their physical health, people have all sorts of undiagnosed mental issues and maybe they don't have insurance and they can't afford treatment or maybe they just got off of it and they think they're fine. | ||
| I mean we know guys who did that, who got off of stuff that they weren't supposed to get off of and then they start getting really paranoid and crazy and then someone has to talk them down. | ||
| And one of the things with being depressed like that is, you know, and like you said, if they don't have insurance, then all of a sudden they're like, I don't have insurance. | ||
| Little do they know that it's a phone call away to get like, you know, free whatever somehow or help somehow. | ||
| But also with the depression makes you not want to do that. | ||
| It makes you, it's part of it is you don't want to sort of find help. | ||
| It's hard to reach out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I find that's interesting that is, I think, avoidable. | ||
| Maybe we should all think about this a little bit. | ||
| There's something that happens whenever something takes place where people expect a reaction. | ||
| They expect a reaction from you. | ||
| And there's this tendency to get upset At people that are not showing a reaction to it, like publicly, instantaneously. | ||
| There's a responsibility to show a reaction. | ||
| And I've been thinking about this. | ||
| And I was like, is there? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Because I had put something up, I think on Twitter or Instagram, about our show in Bakersfield tonight. | ||
| And someone said, hey, maybe not a great time to promote. | ||
| There was a school shooting. | ||
| Just saying, or something like that. | ||
| I didn't know about it. | ||
| I don't think. | ||
| Maybe I'd heard peripherally that something happened when I was flipping through Google, but I didn't know the extent of it. | ||
| And then I saw it and I was like, oh my god. | ||
| I mean, that is... | ||
| It's one of the worst things people can do to people. | ||
| It's to snuff out young life for no reason. | ||
| Yeah, it's crazy. | ||
| It's becoming so common. | ||
| It's becoming common, and there has to be a way to stop it. | ||
| It's almost like, you know, a way... | ||
| I feel like people have become so desensitized that it's almost like the new super suicide, you know? | ||
| People were very desensitized, because if this had happened... | ||
| 20 years ago, it would be a gigantic thing. | ||
| They would freak people out for days and days, and it would be all anybody's talking about. | ||
| So in one sense, if I did hear about a school, I think maybe I'd seen something about the school getting shut down or something. | ||
| So I'm like, oh, fuck, something happened. | ||
| And then going into it later, the more I looked into it, the more I was like, oh, God. | ||
| Like, this is just... | ||
| This is the most heartbreaking news you could ever hear, right? | ||
| Someone decides to go kill kids. | ||
| The story you're talking about was in Texas. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Man who opened fire in Texas church shooter was hailed as a good Samaritan. | ||
| Oh, there was that guy. | ||
| There was another guy though. | ||
| It must have been the undercover cop because it was the stabbing story. | ||
| I might have conflated him. | ||
| I do that on occasion. | ||
| Well, we got the story. | ||
| In two instances, someone who wasn't supposed to be there with a gun had a gun. | ||
| One of them just happened to be an undercover cop. | ||
| You don't want people to be vigilantes. | ||
| You don't want people to be out there fucking Charles Bronson in it, but... | ||
| I was performing at a comedy club in Dallas a couple weeks ago, and I was standing out front near the host booth for a second. | ||
| And they get a phone call, and the guy goes, you know what, sir? | ||
| I actually don't know. | ||
| Let me ask my boss. | ||
| I've never been asked that before. | ||
| And he puts the phone on hold and goes to find the owner. | ||
| But before he does, I go, what's that person asking for? | ||
| Like, I was just curious, like, what he's never been asked. | ||
| He goes, he wants to know if he can bring his gun. | ||
| He has a concealed carry license. | ||
| I don't know the exact laws here. | ||
| I'm like, no! | ||
| Don't ask the owner. | ||
| He's not allowed to bring his gun. | ||
| Get back to that phone call. | ||
| No, not mine. | ||
| I had two shows that night. | ||
| Like, no. | ||
| Concealed carry? | ||
| Uh-uh. | ||
| Yeah, I got a buddy of mine who carries everywhere. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Everywhere. | ||
| Man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hope I never accidentally make fun of him. | ||
| Firearms instructor. | ||
| He carries everywhere. | ||
| He lives in Arizona. | ||
| You can do whatever the fuck you want in Arizona. | ||
| Arizona thinks it's the 1800s. | ||
| You think if I did my cartwheel somersault thing, he'd still be able to get me though? | ||
| Maybe not. | ||
| Maybe not. | ||
| You are a clever fellow. | ||
| I always picture that. | ||
| You know what else I always picture is in elevators, if the elevator falls and you're in free fall, would you jump? | ||
| Would you try to jump at the end to sort of... | ||
| Yeah, because you're going the speed of the elevator anyway. | ||
| You're gonna get crushed the same exact amount. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're fucked. | |
| Darn it. | ||
| Yeah, it doesn't work. | ||
| I was gonna try to jump. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's nothing you can do with that one, dude. | |
| That's a sad fucked up way to die. | ||
| Elevator accident. | ||
| You know, that's one of the things when you're in a place like Manhattan and you're on the 89th floor of a fucking building and you're like, what is this nonsense? | ||
| What is this nonsense? | ||
| I feel like it's even worse when it gets stuck, but it's halfway between floors and someone tries to climb out, and then you've heard of them getting decapitated or whatever, and their head's there. | ||
| They get severed in half, yeah. | ||
| Dude, those people up there on that 90th floor, those people are just view monkeys. | ||
| They love it. | ||
| Get me higher. | ||
| I want to look over this whole fucking city! | ||
| Would you want to be on the first floor? | ||
| I want to be on the first floor, okay? | ||
| So I can just get the fuck out of there, get out of the office, go home. | ||
| Why would I want to be on the 100th floor unless I'm just, look! | ||
| Look at all that shit down below me, motherfucker! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm up here at the top of the tree because I'm the number one chimp! | |
| You fucks! | ||
| Bring my helicopter! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm flying right above these guys with my dick out the window! | |
| Right? | ||
| That's the ultimate is to be a dude who lives in the penthouse and gets helicoptered around Manhattan and drop down some fucking dude covered in like... | ||
| Extinct fox fur, you know, strutting his shit. | ||
| That's the ultimate. | ||
| To have a penthouse on the top of a giant building in New York City and have a helicopter land on your roof, you'd be special agent baller. | ||
| I wouldn't even get in the helicopter. | ||
| I would attach a rope to the helicopter and have the helicopter go, and I'd just fly like that underneath the helicopter so that when they slowly land, I land. | ||
| There are guys like that out there. | ||
| Obviously not wearing extinct furs, but there's guys that are that rich that just get helicoptered around Manhattan and they go to the Hamptons. | ||
| They get helicoptered out to the Hamptons. | ||
| They land in their estate. | ||
| They get out their estate. | ||
| They have people waiting there in full outfit that work for them. | ||
| It's like they're in some colonial time. | ||
| I mean, they're living in a total alternate universe of human beings. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Have you seen those crazy Hamptons houses? | ||
| Like way out in... | ||
| What's this? | ||
| Wait, Matt Lauer? | ||
| NBC pays for Matt Lauer's helicopter rides to work. | ||
| Oh, there you go. | ||
| From the Hamptons. | ||
| Bam. | ||
| His chopper out to the Hamptons where he has a 40-acre horse farm. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| He's ballin'! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, he's ballin' so hard. | |
| Ballin' so hard, Matt Lauer. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Took a helicopter ride to his nice office with a button. | ||
| That's that thing, man. | ||
| And it's not just guys like him. | ||
| It's, you know, rich hedge fund guys and Wall Street guys. | ||
| I mean, there's people that just have ungodly sums of money. | ||
| Like, you can't wrap your head around it. | ||
| You're never going to understand it. | ||
| They have hundred million dollar estates. | ||
| Hundred million. | ||
| You're looking at a hundred million dollar estate, you're like, what? | ||
| What the fuck is this? | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Yeah, that's a weird thing about capitalism, that someone can get that far out of whack. | ||
| They could ball that hard, above all. | ||
| Like, what did you do? | ||
| And those are some of my favorite crazy stories, is like the Jinx, the Robert Durst one, where he came from, you know, the family that owns just Manhattan skyscrapers and Boom! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's crazy. | ||
| The DuPont guy with the wrestling team. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's another wild one. | ||
| That's one of the wildest ones. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that was a terrifying one. | ||
| Steve Carell can act his fucking ass off, can he? | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he's great. | ||
| It's another thing where someone used a gun to kill someone that they were threatened by in some sort of a masculine way because Dave Schultz was like this super badass wrestler. | ||
| Him and his brother Mark, top of the food chain wrestlers. | ||
| Terrible story. | ||
| I almost went to the, I think, I'm pretty sure I almost went to the Matt Schultz, is it Mark Schultz? | ||
| Mark Schultz wrestling camp. | ||
| Back when I was in high school. | ||
| I went to the Ohio State one instead. | ||
| He fought Big Daddy Goodrich in the UFC way back in the day. | ||
| It was his one and only MMA fight in the UFC. And it's really interesting because in the movie that they did with Steve Carell, like that's a historical moment. | ||
| See, they don't understand MMA so when they made that movie the cage-fighting part was like yeah, whatever just fucking fudge this like how do I why would I believe that anything in that movie is What really happened when the thing that I know for sure really happened you fucked up Yeah, | ||
| the thing that I know for sure really happened is this guy Big Daddy Goodrich Fought Schultz when Schultz was a top of the food chain wrestler, man. | ||
| And he just took him down at will. | ||
| He handled him at will. | ||
| He took Schultz down. | ||
| Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| There'll be none of that. | ||
| There'll be none of that. | ||
| Mark Schultz was a gorilla. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Just, like I said, top of the food chain American wrestler. | ||
| He's a fucking tank. | ||
| And so this is him fighting Gary Goodrich with very little striking. | ||
| Very little striking training. | ||
| He's just looking for this. | ||
| And once he gets this, oh, fuck all that. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Takes him to the ground like he's a sack of potatoes. | ||
| Beats the shit out of him. | ||
| Mounts him. | ||
| Does whatever he wants to him when he has him on the ground. | ||
| Whatever he wants to him. | ||
| It's a level of grappling that the UFC, up until then, had never seen. | ||
| You know, it's like if a guy like Daniel Cormier entered into the octagon back there. | ||
| Same kind of thing. | ||
| Just takes... | ||
| Everybody's going down. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| There's not gonna be any stuff in these takedowns. | ||
| There's a guy named Jordan Burrows out there that I would... | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Why'd they just stop that right there? | ||
| Well, it was different times, man. | ||
| It was... | ||
| Back then... | ||
| Yeah, they didn't know what the fuck they were doing half the time. | ||
| Like, look, Mark's got no gloves on and Gary's got no gloves on, but back in the day, you could wear gloves if you wanted to. | ||
| And I think he has shoes on. | ||
| Yup, he's got wrestling shoes. | ||
| And look at this. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| I mean, every time he wants to, he can take him down. | ||
| And he's mounted him. | ||
| This is just a level of grappling that you just don't understand. | ||
| You're not getting him off you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stop. | |
| Just stop. | ||
| This is nonsense. | ||
| You don't even understand. | ||
| And Big Daddy Goodrich, I should just say, is an incredibly strong guy. | ||
| And an awesome athlete. | ||
| What's happening here? | ||
| What happened? | ||
| It's Big John. | ||
| Oh, did he key lock him? | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| In my head, I had that he beat him up and won a decision. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How did that result? | |
| Did he submit him? | ||
| No, I can't believe I remember this wrong. | ||
| Well, either way, I just remember just watching. | ||
| Yeah, it looks like you got him in a key lock. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no. | |
| They just stopped it. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So it was a stoppage. | ||
| Either way. | ||
| There's a guy named Jordan Burrows who, when he wrestles, he's the greatest double league takedown ever. | ||
| Just shoots low, drives in. | ||
| His opponents know he's going to do it. | ||
| He's won multiple golds. | ||
| I mean, he's just a monster. | ||
| And I would love, love, love to see him learn how to strike a little bit or learn some jiu-jitsu and figure out UFC. Because in almost the history of wrestling, this guy is a freak. | ||
| Shoots low. | ||
| There's nothing you can do. | ||
| Here he is. | ||
| There's just nothing. | ||
| He just dominates people. | ||
| Serious drive, man. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Over and over again. | ||
| Just destroys people. | ||
| Look at that drive, man. | ||
| Damn, he's good. | ||
| He wrestled on, like, Times Square. | ||
| Did you see that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was cool, yeah. | ||
| He wrestled in Times Square? | ||
| Last year, maybe, like, in the winter. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Damn, his wrestling's insane. | ||
| Where's that guy going? | ||
| Nowhere. | ||
| Well, you know, this is what we're seeing with Khabib Nurmagomedov. | ||
| When you see, like, this super high-level striking, or excuse me, super high-level grappling, it shuts down even, like, really good grapplers. | ||
| Is this him in Times Square? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow, this is awesome. | ||
| Who is he wrestling against? | ||
| Some guy that thought he was about to get points right there. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Who is he wrestling against? | ||
| Does it say? | ||
| Oh, it's got some rap music on it that'll get us kicked off YouTube. | ||
| But this is all, these are like world championships and stuff. | ||
| Crazy, man. | ||
| Serious power. | ||
| And technique. | ||
| I think that's the most important skill in MMA. I've always thought it, and I still do, because I think these guys can learn defense for grappling, defense for jujitsu, and they can learn submissions, which is probably even more important. | ||
| Way quicker than a regular person. | ||
| They're so used to squeezing shit already. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They're used to, they're constantly used to squeezing things and gripping and pulling. | ||
| And unlike jujitsu with the gi, which relies a lot of it on grips and like there's an entanglement factor that you have to really take into, and they can really slow the game down that way. | ||
| You can't do that with wrestling. | ||
| Another thing with wrestling is hip movement and hip control and spinning around a guy, hitting an easy reversal just from popping down and back up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you don't wrestle, you're not taking a wrestler down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's crazy sometimes watching high-level fights and sometimes I don't have... | ||
| Obviously, when you're at a live fight, I don't have the audio. | ||
| So it's like sometimes I'm seeing what's... | ||
| Just a little thing that's wrong, you know, like, for example, like, in Diaz-McGregor 2, I remember a part where Diaz was trying to take McGregor down, but his hips were above McGregor's, who had dropped his just lower, whereas if Diaz pops down and back up, he's got him. | ||
| But, you know, all this stuff's happening at once, and sometimes you can see it with wrestling, and it's just the difference in a little thing, that sometimes the energy and the emotions of the fight, it's about, you know, just being like, oh yeah, drop down, up, and like, you know... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's very, very technique-oriented. | ||
| And that's, like, the people that have never done any kind of grappling don't understand when you're watching, like, someone drive in. | ||
| When you see a beautiful, like, if you go back to, like, who's got one of, like, the best power doubles? | ||
| Frankie Edgar's got one of my favorite power doubles ever. | ||
| He takes a lot of motherfuckers down that are really tough to take down. | ||
| But if you watch as he enters into it, there's such a flow to it. | ||
| It's an aggressive attacking... | ||
| Like George St. Pierre. | ||
| When George was in his prime, ooh! | ||
| Dude, everybody was scared of that takedown, man. | ||
| That power double was coming. | ||
| Josh Koscheck went early on in the sport. | ||
| Josh Koscheck had ridiculous power in his takedowns. | ||
| Just ridiculous. | ||
| He would just drive through you. | ||
| It's so technical. | ||
| That's the whole thing in wrestling. | ||
| Strength and quickness and all this stuff is so secondary to some dude that'll own you doing your own thing. | ||
| He'll wrestle jujitsu you. | ||
| He'll just let you think that you're about to do something while he moves ahead. | ||
| I think everybody should know that Yoel Romero is a real human being. | ||
| That that's possible. | ||
| Everyone should know. | ||
| When it comes to what's important about wrestling, Yoel Romero It's a real thing. | ||
| That's what happens. | ||
| This is what you have when you have as elite a wrestler as you can get in a super athlete body. | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| He decides whether you're going down. | ||
| If you take him down, it's luck. | ||
| He might have been half-assed in the takedown defense because he knows as soon as he gets down, he'll just fucking flip you over and stand back up again. | ||
| It's just not the same kind of thing. | ||
| It's like he's just way more athletic than you. | ||
| Way stronger than you. | ||
| They need to get Nagano to work out with him. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Well, Nagano's way too heavy. | ||
| Unfortunately, you're dealing with 85 versus heavyweight. | ||
| But at 85... | ||
| No, I mean like train. | ||
| To train with him? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But still, it's a big guy to train with. | ||
| He's so good, dude. | ||
| Is this his highlight reel? | ||
| Dude, he's so good. | ||
| He's knocked out with stunning accuracy. | ||
| Luke Rockhold, Chris Weidman. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Boom, dude. | ||
| Tim Kennedy. | ||
| I mean, he's a fucking monster, although the Kennedy fight was marred by controversy. | ||
| You can never ignore that. | ||
| He did not come out for the... | ||
| Oh, look at that left hand. | ||
| He did not come out for the... | ||
| for the end of the round and he was still sitting on his stool and they had wasted all this time Trying to give him more chances to recover. | ||
| You have to be afraid of any guy whose shoulders stick up like that. | ||
| Dude, he's terrifying. | ||
| It's like a King Cobra, how it warns you with its wings. | ||
| He's stopping this dude with body strikes. | ||
| I mean, that is crazy. | ||
| Who the fuck stopped someone with driving elbows to the body? | ||
| Who the fuck stopped somebody with that? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| I mean, that was meat. | ||
| He made meat out of that. | ||
| Go back to that. | ||
| Let me look at that again. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah, look at it right there. | ||
| They'll show it. | ||
| Look, it's got blood all over his elbow. | ||
| That's just... | ||
| That is a crazy... | ||
| His whole face is a mess. | ||
| But that's a crazy amount of force this guy can generate. | ||
| And wrestling is just another level, man. | ||
| Like that kind of shit? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He could do that to anybody. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Like he fought Brad Tavares right there. | ||
| And Brad Tavares is a stud. | ||
| And it was like they were nowhere near the same weight class, like the way he can handle them. | ||
| He's just so fucking powerful. | ||
| And this just shows you where the fucking stud Tim Kennedy is. | ||
| Tim Kennedy almost had him. | ||
| The reason why he didn't come out for, I believe it was the third round when he came out late, was because by the end of the second, Tim had him in deep, deep trouble. | ||
| Tim had caught him with a couple of big punches and staggered him. | ||
| And so when he went back to his corner, look at that fucking shot that he lands when he knocks him down, then another one. | ||
| He just smashed him at the end. | ||
| The craziest thing about Tim Kennedy is he does all this. | ||
| And for a big chunk of his career, he was active military and still fighting like that. | ||
| Yeah, Yoel Romero is... | ||
| Yeah, and here's him just smashing Miyoto Machida. | ||
| He's terrifying. | ||
| So he's going to get the next shot at the middleweight title after he just knocked out Luke Rockhold. | ||
| I can't believe Whitaker knocked him. | ||
| That's the crazy thing is knocked him out like this is the crazy thing You're talking about a guy's like one of the best wrestlers to ever fight in MMA and he's knocking people out Standing leaping in and cracking you with punches hitting you at flying knees knocking out world champions I mean KO'd Chris Weidman with a flying knee. | ||
| He's not he's just he's on another level like a real Fucking monster athlete like it's just it's a pleasure to get to watch someone who has such fantastic Technique and physical attributes all combined like his wrestling technique is just ridiculously good his timings ridiculously good his explosions it's like to watch that I mean for me a guy who's been around the sport for a long time when | ||
| a guy comes out and just stands out that hard and You go, whoa, like this guy is a real outlier physically. | ||
| He's gonna make such a good pro wrestler in a few years. | ||
| Oh, if he does decide to do that? | ||
| Fuck yeah, he would make an amazing one. | ||
| Yeah, like as he gets older, yeah. | ||
| Are they stretching him out here? | ||
| Yeah, he's super fucking flexible. | ||
| Dude, he's a product of the Cuban wrestling system. | ||
| And if you listen to my podcast with Matt Brown, I'm going to plug that one more time because I enjoy the shit out of it. | ||
| It was one of the MMA shows I did last week with Matt Brown, and he and I were talking about it. | ||
| And he's... | ||
| He spent an entire six weeks, I believe, in Cuba at one of his training camps. | ||
| And the way these people live and train, they are all in, man. | ||
| They are all in. | ||
| And there's just a tremendous amount of talent over there, both in boxing. | ||
| And in judo, as well as wrestling. | ||
| Taekwondo, they have a big Taekwondo team. | ||
| Like, Cuba doesn't fuck around athletically, man. | ||
| But it's just, to see a guy like that, and you go, wow. | ||
| And he's 40. What would that guy have been like when he was 30? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good lord. | |
| He's 40? | ||
| He's 40. What would he have been? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Better? | |
| Would he have been faster? | ||
| Now on top of all that, Robert Whitaker still beat him with a blown out knee. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Whitaker is a monster. | ||
| That shows you how amazing he is. | ||
| He still managed to stuff takedowns with a completely blown out knee. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Yeah, Whitaker is no fucking joke. | ||
| He's a scary guy, and he's getting better. | ||
| I think Whitaker's only like 27, right? | ||
| How old's Robert Whitaker? | ||
| That sounds about right. | ||
| He's one of the younger guys that's a world champion currently, I believe. | ||
| 27? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So he's still growing and learning, man. | ||
| That guy at 30, I mean, he's a world champion right now. | ||
| At 30, he's going to be better than he is right now. | ||
| He's just going to keep getting better. | ||
| Another thing is Yoel didn't show any of the signs of pain from the shin injury that he had. | ||
| That's a big part of it, too. | ||
| You know, is not letting your opponent know what's hurting you. | ||
| Because I'm sure if Rockhold knew that he hurt his shin more than he hurt his, then he would have kept picking away at it. | ||
| But he didn't let him know. | ||
| So it just seemed like he wasn't affecting him with his leg kicks. | ||
| Meanwhile, Yoel's like, ow! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| What is he like? | ||
| Ow! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Painful! | ||
| Well, he's a super winner. | ||
| He's what you would call a super winner. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, that's really what he is. | ||
| If you get these Olympic-level athletes that have just been competing their whole lives, they just know how to win. | ||
| And when he learned how to strike, everybody just... | ||
| You're fucked. | ||
| You got this guy? | ||
| There's only but a few guys that can survive it. | ||
| That have been able to survive it. | ||
| You know, but the most impressive one. | ||
| I mean, shit. | ||
| This is a real wealth of talent right now. | ||
| I was just going to say, it's a very exciting time to be a UFC fan. | ||
| It really is, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's unbelievable. | |
| Because, like, Robert Whittaker was the first guy to... | ||
| Is he the first guy to beat Yoel in the UFC? I want to say he is. | ||
| And I want to say that Yoel lost like one of his really early MMA fights to Feijão in Strikeforce. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| Rafael Cavalcante, yeah. | ||
| It's Strikeforce. | ||
| Barnett versus Karatanov, Sergey Karatanov. | ||
| So that was like way back in 2011. So yeah, it was one of his first fights. | ||
| He lost that fight and then he lost to Whitaker. | ||
| So he hadn't lost since the Feijau fight. | ||
| Almost all knockouts. | ||
| Yeah, and the only one that has an asterisk right next to it is the Tim Kennedy fight. | ||
| Because there was definitely some fuckery there. | ||
| Definitely some cheating. | ||
| They definitely stayed on that stool an extra few seconds. | ||
| How long did they wind up staying on the stool for extra? | ||
| I want to guess it was an extra 15 seconds. | ||
| I think that might be... | ||
| What did he do? | ||
| He just chilled for a bit? | ||
| Might have been less than 15. He just didn't get up. | ||
| He sat there. | ||
| He was in there. | ||
| The corner was leaving. | ||
| He's still sitting on a stool. | ||
| Approximately 30 seconds. | ||
| 30 seconds. | ||
| That's a long time. | ||
| That's a long time. | ||
| I was thinking it was 15. I was thinking I might have been wrong. | ||
| It might have been 10. They didn't even try a trick like the old Spill the Ice, that classic, which I love so much. | ||
| Dude, 30 seconds is a long time for a guy to recover. | ||
| He could have easily been KO'd. | ||
| He could have... | ||
| I mean, who knows? | ||
| Because he's such a super athlete. | ||
| He might have been able to rebound, but he might not have, too. | ||
| We'll never know. | ||
| If you're taking 30 seconds, you're taking it because 20 seconds wasn't enough. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it would be a minute at that point. | ||
| There's a minute and a 30-second break on top of that. | ||
| So it was a minute thirty from the time Tim was beating on him till the time the round ends. | ||
| He goes back to his corner, clearly fucked up, and then he sits on the stool for a long time. | ||
| It's 100% of an asterisk. | ||
| Asterisk. | ||
| Did you ever say that word right? | ||
| Asterisk. | ||
| Asterisk. | ||
| It always sounds wrong. | ||
| It's like when George Bush used to say especially, and he would say especially. | ||
| Ha ha ha. | ||
| The Vaseline? | ||
| Does that have anything to do with it? | ||
| There's so much Vaseline on him and they tried to get the trainer in and he couldn't understand what they were saying. | ||
| Was that what it was too? | ||
| That's what this says here. | ||
| Yeah, but he was sitting there. | ||
| He was sitting there. | ||
| And Tim Kennedy's standing there. | ||
| The round's over and he's got his arms up in the air. | ||
| He's like, see if you can play that. | ||
| Can you play that or that'll get us kicked off. | ||
| I don't have to find it. | ||
| Okay, don't worry about it. | ||
| You don't have to find it. | ||
| But that's the only one next to his name where you gotta go, oof. | ||
| That one ain't good. | ||
| Can't take a 30-second break. | ||
| Yeah, that's not good. | ||
| And he wound up winning that fight, which is, man, there's a major violation there. | ||
| That's a giant... | ||
| Not being ready for the start of the next round, if the round starts, the referee doesn't want to stop the fight. | ||
| He doesn't want to give it to your opponent because you can't start the round on time. | ||
| But he's in a terrible situation where he wants the fight to continue, but he also understands that you're taking unfair advantage here by just sitting here while you should be engaging in a contest. | ||
| There's a specified one-minute break. | ||
| You've exceeded your one-minute break, therefore I must disqualify you. | ||
| So they're stuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're stuck in no man's land. | ||
| And they don't want to be the party pooper. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck, dude. | |
| In-house. | ||
| If we could just get Yoel up real quick. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's just in the 30 seconds later. | ||
| He finally... | ||
| Like, what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
How? | |
| That's a big one, man. | ||
| I didn't know it was 30 seconds. | ||
| I really thought it was 15 or less. | ||
| But, take that away, because, you know, that's unfortunate, but shit happens. | ||
| Take that away and you're looking at just a freak. | ||
| The freak of freaks. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| He's gonna come in here. | ||
| He is? | ||
| With Joey. | ||
| Diaz? | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Joey's gonna help translate. | ||
| So if everything's going smooth, or maybe he doesn't understand what I'm saying, he might turn to Joey, and they'll just fucking throw their hands up in the air, kiss each other and shit, and then we'll be back at business. | ||
| I'd be surprised if you all can get these headphones over his shoulders. | ||
| I know. | ||
| He's a tank. | ||
| I don't know... | ||
| I don't know how much he wants to talk about his life in Cuba and what it was like wrestling there, but I would be utterly fascinated to hear about that. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And to rise to the top of the heap in that crazy shark tank of athletic talent and then go on to medal in basically every wrestling championship that he entered internationally. | ||
| I mean, he's just one of the... | ||
| Freak of freaks. | ||
| Fascinating that those guys exist. | ||
| I think it's so important that we know because everybody has these ideas in their head about like physical limitations and physical capabilities and then you see like a Walter Payton And you just go, oh, whoa. | ||
| Or Herschel Walker. | ||
| Herschel Walker is a great example. | ||
| You see Herschel Walker run and you go, oh, what? | ||
| That's a person too? | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| How is that guy? | ||
| I mean, Herschel Walker to this day is super jacked and he's in his 50s. | ||
| That was him in his late 40s fighting in Strikeforce. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| 54. Wants to fight again. | ||
| Is this new? | ||
| We'll click it and see. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Seriously? | ||
| From June 2016. Oh, two years ago. | ||
| So now he's 56. Wants to fight again still. | ||
| Open to Rampage back. | ||
| He's open to a Rampage Jackson bout. | ||
| He's so crazy. | ||
| He might win. | ||
| Dude, Hershel Walker's terrifying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's another, exactly the same thing we're talking about. | ||
| It's another insane level of physical talent, above and beyond. | ||
| Wasn't he like all push-ups only or something for a while? | ||
| Apparently that's a lot of what he did. | ||
| A lot of what he did was push-ups and a lot of bodyweight exercises, and he didn't really necessarily lift weights. | ||
| Who knows, man? | ||
| He might be telling the truth, but... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It seems like he looks like a guy who lifts weights. | |
| So if he could be that jacked at 47 or 48 and not lift weights... | ||
| This was 2011 from this photo? | ||
| I had that picture, yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So, but, you know... | ||
| Not a young man, and ridiculously ripped, and always has been. | ||
| He's just a severe outlier. | ||
| There's Brock Lesnar-type guys. | ||
| Yeah, there was a guy when Jamie and I were back in Columbus, way, way, way back, named Maurice Claret, a running back for Ohio State that only played one year. | ||
| He was a freshman, and broke every freshman record. | ||
| This and that led us to a national championship. | ||
| Wasn't even that tall. | ||
| Probably, I don't know, who knows, whatever, 5'10", 5'9", something like... | ||
| Not that tall, but he had thighs and hips where he would just keep running. | ||
| He would just keep his legs moving and he would run people over. | ||
| Just boof, boof, boof, smashing guys. | ||
| Guys on the defense, when we played them in high school, because he was right around the corner at Warren Harding in Youngstown. | ||
| So we played him in high school. | ||
| Our guys were being taken off on stretchers on the defense. | ||
| Guys trying to tackle him. | ||
| Stretcher, stretcher, stretcher. | ||
| I'm not even kidding. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| Maurice Claret. | ||
| Did you see that video? | ||
| He's built like a midget, but he's a real human man. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| Because he's got so much muscle. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you see that video of Brock Lesnar punching that guy for real in a wrestling match? | ||
| He's done that quite a few times. | ||
| Sometimes Brock lets dudes know what's up. | ||
| If they don't do things right or if they're not... | ||
| The dude kneed him in the face pretty hard. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And his head snapped back. | ||
| And Brock cracked this dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like with real punches. | ||
| Like, I'm going to hit you with real punches now. | ||
| Like, boom, boom. | ||
| Sometimes they do that. | ||
| You hit him a couple times on the jaw. | ||
| That was an old school. | ||
| The dude hits him here. | ||
| That's a hard fucking knee to the head. | ||
| And Brock gets up and you can see. | ||
| He's very unhappy. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| That's a real punch right there. | ||
| That is like the kind of shit that he hit Frank Mir with. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| Yeah, they're playing big-time ball. | ||
| That is a freak. | ||
| That guy, man, people think about him as a WWE guy, and then they think about him as fighting in the UFC and winning some fights and being this bad motherfucker, but they don't You know, when he beat Shane Carwin, I mean, that was a big fucking fight for him. | ||
| To be able to choke out Shane Carwin. | ||
| But what people don't realize is, like, when he was an amateur wrestler, he was a fucking monster. | ||
| It's just his decision to go into the UFC late after he'd already been doing pro wrestling. | ||
| People were like, oh, this guy. | ||
| But look, this guy is a fucking unbelievable athlete. | ||
| You ever seen his NFL combine scores? | ||
| No. | ||
| Have you seen that shit, Jamie? | ||
| See if you could Google Shane Carwin versus Brock Lesnar combine, because somebody made one of those images, and it showed their numbers, similar height, similar weight. | ||
| Brock was a fucking freak. | ||
| And it shows in the WWE ring. | ||
| People say, sure, it's fake, but it's not. | ||
| Because you can see, compared to all the other athletes, some of them that only did that their entire lives, the number of strides that he takes is longer and faster. | ||
| And you just see him, even from seats far away, you can see, wow, that guy's big and moving. | ||
| He's moving at the same speed as the... | ||
| The crazy luchador Mexican wrestlers were earlier, but he's that size with shoulders like that. | ||
| He had what I would call a fractured MMA training that led him to the heavyweight champion. | ||
| And I say fractured that He jumped right into the deep end and won and beat guys like Randy Couture, beat guys like Frank Mir, Shane Carwin, beat some world-class guys. | ||
| But if he had started, I think, earlier in his life and learned how to strike and got some of that in there first so that it wasn't such an alien thing to him when he was fighting in the big leagues. | ||
| He's really only been striking for a few years. | ||
| If he learned how to strike from a real technical instructor, someone who was real technical, And still had that wrestling ability when he was younger. | ||
| I mean, who the fuck else is like that? | ||
| Who else is like that? | ||
| When we got him, he was in his 30s already. | ||
| He'd been doing pro wrestling a long time. | ||
| It beats the shit out of your body. | ||
| You might think it's fake. | ||
| There's nothing fake about when he flipped over the fucking top rope and landed on his head. | ||
| Remember that one? | ||
| Yeah, I'm in salt. | ||
| Yeah, that's not fake. | ||
| You try faking that. | ||
| You're dead. | ||
| Most people are dead from that. | ||
| He survived and kept going with the wrestling move. | ||
| This is not a normal athlete. | ||
| But every now and then, one of those guys comes along, and if they can... | ||
| I mean, obviously Brock was very technical when he was in high school and when he was a young wrestler. | ||
| If you watch some of the videos of him when he was a younger guy, he was slightly smaller. | ||
| He was definitely a smaller guy, but he still was a gorilla. | ||
| I mean, there's no getting around that genetics. | ||
| There's like... | ||
| But it's rare that a guy like that, him, can reach the level where you're seeing Yoa Romero. | ||
| Because that's almost like another level even past what Brock's capable of doing. | ||
| I can't find Shane's numbers. | ||
| 40-yard dash time, 4.7. | ||
| Vertical jump, 35. Standing long jump, 10 feet. | ||
| He can stand and jump 10 feet forward, and he's 265 pounds. | ||
| Bench press, 225 pounds for 30 reps. | ||
| 40-yard dash time, 4.7 vertical jump. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Why is there two? | ||
| I don't know why I repeated it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Wow. | ||
| Oh, I see. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So that was the last stat, was the bench press. | ||
| 225-pound bench press for 30 reps. | ||
| That's a lot of fucking reps, man. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| But I know there's guys who do more than that. | ||
| Yeah, the similar thing I could find was in a forum. | ||
| It said that Shane did like 43 reps on that, but I couldn't find his other stats. | ||
| Oh, so you did more bench press? | ||
| What is the world record in the combine of how many times a guy can bench press 225? | ||
| I'm going to guess 50. Do you think a guy can do it 50 times? | ||
| Probably. | ||
| There's probably some, like, giant... | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| 51. Wow! | ||
| Price is right. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Who is it? | ||
| Justin Ernest. | ||
| Justin Ernest, you bad motherfucker. | ||
| There's probably some field goal kicker. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Just jacked the tits. | ||
| Doesn't want to get hit. | ||
| All I do is kick balls and press bench. | ||
| Imagine if they just made field goal kickers that were just giant Brock Lesnar-style gorillas, too. | ||
| That'd be fun. | ||
| Why couldn't those guys kick just as good, or if not further and faster? | ||
| Kickers are always like, you're not supposed to hit them, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can't hit the kicker. | ||
| That seems so crazy! | ||
| That seems so crazy! | ||
| That's a weird job, man. | ||
| You miss a kick, all those guys don't care about you. | ||
| They, like, stab you in the back. | ||
| I mean, there's no loyalty for the kicker. | ||
| The rest of the other guys hold each other up, but from what I've read and understand, it's, like, a depressing job. | ||
| It's gotta be! | ||
| You're not a part of it. | ||
| You can't get hit. | ||
| That's the one thing everybody's afraid of. | ||
| And you can't get hit? | ||
| And the littlest stuff throws them off, too. | ||
| Like, in this last Super Bowl, you know, they painted, like, the 25-yard line with a special Super Bowl emblem, and it messed these guys up, because it's white, so they're not used to kicking off green. | ||
| Who was the first kicker? | ||
| Is that the designated kicker? | ||
| Has that always been the rule, that you can't hit the guy who's the kicker? | ||
| Am I wrong? | ||
| Do I know what I'm talking about? | ||
| It's not that you can't hit them. | ||
| You can definitely hit them. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| You just can't hit them while they're kicking the ball. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| So you can hit them after they kick the ball? | ||
| While they're in the process of kicking, you can't kick their leg. | ||
| Unless you're about to block it, if you hit the ball, you can't actually then run into them. | ||
| But if you don't block the ball, then you can't touch them. | ||
| But if you're reaching for the ball, and you've got to remember their leg's coming forward at a crazy fast rate, if you miss the ball and you hit them, and by the way, the rule's crazy, and the same goes for the punter. | ||
| Like, if you hit them while their leg is basically still in the air, huge penalty. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Huge. | ||
| Yeah, this is afterwards. | ||
| This guy's a punter. | ||
| This is Pat McAfee. | ||
| He jacked up this guy on a punt return. | ||
| So, like, he's not afraid to go hit him. | ||
| He fucked him up, but... | ||
| Yeah, he's probably out for three years after that, the kicker. | ||
| No, is what he did illegal right there? | ||
| No, not at all. | ||
| He's just now part of the team. | ||
| He can go hit them, but usually, like a quarterback, they want to try to... | ||
| He's the only punter on the team, so you've got to protect that guy. | ||
| Otherwise, you're fucked without a kicker. | ||
| You've got to go to somebody else. | ||
| Wow, interesting. | ||
| Jim, you love the football, don't you? | ||
| Yeah, it's just a weird way. | ||
| It's a high-level chess thing, too. | ||
| There's 53 guys. | ||
| You have to break it down, and then it's all strategy, and it's all pre-snap strategy because it's only five seconds at a time, and it's all setting this up. | ||
| I'm going to trick you. | ||
| It's just the guys up in the booth, old 50-year-old men that think they know a lot about football, and they can't actually go do it. | ||
| Sort of like an MMA, like a Duke Rufus type guy. | ||
| Very... | ||
| Just like call things out. | ||
| It's very strategic. | ||
| Very much chess. | ||
| And that's why Bill Belichick and Tom Brady make it to the Super Bowl pretty much every year. | ||
| Which is, you know, just like with the UFC, we've seen so many fights like any given Sunday almost, right? | ||
| Like if you made the same match ten times, we know it's not going to go that way every time. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But... | ||
| Those guys have a way of figuring it out. | ||
| So it's crazy to see. | ||
| When you think about a pro football team, like all the planning that has to be in place, all the monitoring of everybody's health, all the knowing what everyone's capable of, all the Different strength and conditioning routines. | ||
| You must watch these guys perform. | ||
| And drills, you must watch these guys complete. | ||
| And then you get together. | ||
| All these people are trying to strategize. | ||
| What's the best moves? | ||
| And the quarterback's got to figure some shit out and call things out in the field. | ||
| It's really a fucking nutty game. | ||
| And they can throw money at it. | ||
| They can throw money to fix any of those problems they want. | ||
| And when you factor in that some of the times they're doing things just to set you up completely to make you think like, Oh, we saw them do the, when we watched video of them play the Raiders, they did this, so this next play is going to be this, and boom, gone. | ||
| Another touchdown. | ||
| Yeah, the thing that's just, obviously, the issue is what happens to the players when they get older. | ||
| It's harder to watch it now, right? | ||
| It doesn't seem the same. | ||
| It doesn't seem like the same thing to me anymore. | ||
| Now, when a guy goes down, I'm like, oof. | ||
| And that sounds fucked up coming from someone who's seen a lot of fights, but... | ||
| I just think it's... | ||
| It's all... | ||
| It's all bad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's all bad to get hit that hard. | ||
| But in a fight, there's a high possibility that you could avoid getting hit that hard. | ||
| If you're like a Mighty Mouse. | ||
| Or if you're like a... | ||
| A GSP, or a top-of-the-food-chain athlete, a Jon Jones. | ||
| He's gonna get hit hard, too. | ||
| There's no getting around it. | ||
| They used to sell those tapes that are the biggest hits of the NFL. There used to be commercials on TV. It's a little tough to watch those now. | ||
| Don't you think that they're getting hit harder? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're getting hit harder than a UFC guy is, right? | ||
| Well, the speed is so fast now. | ||
| They're faster than they were even five, ten years ago. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen some of those hits and I'm trying to imagine the difference between that and like a punch or a kick and it's multiple magnitudes of power stronger. | ||
| Like a guy's getting launched through the sky with these hits. | ||
| I mean, they get launched, they lift off the ground, they go flying. | ||
| These are 200 pound plus men. | ||
| I'm pretty sure football's worse because when it's helmet to helmet, I don't think there's any shin to skull kick that could even compare to that because your brain is hitting the inside of your skull if you're receiving that hit. | ||
| Unless another guy's wearing a helmet running at you at full speed, especially if you're running the direction that he's in, boom. | ||
| That's like two cars hitting head-on. | ||
| If you've seen the difference between a car accident and a head-on car accident, what happens to the dummy and what happens to people, it's night and day. | ||
| This first play here. | ||
| This is the very first play of the biggest hits. | ||
| He fucking launches the guy. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Stars. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Probably knocked out. | ||
| Yeah, I would imagine a lot of guys get knocked out. | ||
| I mean, you know, they say that some concussions happen from getting hit in the chest. | ||
| That we always thought about concussions. | ||
| Oh, you got hit in the head. | ||
| You got a concussion. | ||
| I didn't know until like fairly recently. | ||
| That's how stupid I am. | ||
| I didn't know that you can get a concussion from getting hit to the body. | ||
| Because when you get hit in the body, your brain jostles around just as much. | ||
| It's a difference between the hemorrhaging in the brain that you often get from local trauma. | ||
| That's scary shit. | ||
| People fall and hit their heads. | ||
| But just getting kicked to the body fucks your brain up. | ||
| That's what's crazy. | ||
| It's not just hitting right on the spot. | ||
| Which definitely does it too. | ||
| But guys get their brains rattled from a kick to the body. | ||
| For sure for a takedown. | ||
| For sure for football. | ||
| I once had a bad one in a wrestling match in high school. | ||
| I got stuck in a bridge and the guy had me in a head scissors and he snapped it back real hard and my head hit the mat. | ||
| I woke up with puke on me. | ||
| I was still... | ||
| I was still on my back in the middle of the mat and I had puked. | ||
| Like projectile. | ||
| Out cold and puked. | ||
| Out cold and puked. | ||
| That's dangerous, man. | ||
| You could choke on your own vomit. | ||
| That's the one time I had to go straight to a hospital. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| I was in an ambulance. | ||
| Yeah, I think football is probably the most impact because you're both running. | ||
| So a guy's running at you full clip. | ||
| That never happens in wrestling. | ||
| There's never like running at you. | ||
| This guy Ryan Shazier, number 50. He does a normal tackle, but he is just now getting the feeling back in his legs. | ||
| This happened about six months ago. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Some really freak accident in his spine on a normal tackle. | ||
| Normal everyday tackle. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Play like that can happen like that. | ||
| Any given five seconds of an NFL game, a player like that can just have his life changed. | ||
| And that's another freak athlete from the Ohio State University that's been one of the top linebackers every year. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it's super unfortunate that the body's so goddamn brittle. | ||
| But it's also one of the things that makes it so fascinating. | ||
| You see what these guys are capable of doing. | ||
| There's a brief window, like the Olympics, which is going on right now. | ||
| This is a brief window where someone can be good as a Michael Phelps. | ||
| How many years do you have where you can just dominate swimming like that? | ||
| Do you have 10? | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| Is that a real number? | ||
| Is it 15? | ||
| I mean, what is it? | ||
| You definitely can't keep it up forever. | ||
| So when does everything just fall apart? | ||
| So when you're watching someone Who can do crazy shit with their body and then you see a tackle like that that leads to a guy being paralyzed like, oh man. | ||
| Fuck, dude. | ||
| That's hard, you know? | ||
| But you wouldn't want, would you want it to change? | ||
| Football? | ||
| Yeah, I think they should have big like balloon helmets on. | ||
| Big silly looking super soft bouncy helmets. | ||
| Would you want it to change? | ||
| I've been thinking about that. | ||
| I think it's going to change a little bit. | ||
| If you were the commissioner, if someone said, young Jamie, you seem to know what the fuck you're talking about. | ||
| Would you please do us a favor and tell us how to run this football thing? | ||
| Yeah, there's things I think they could do to change it. | ||
| There's stronger helmets they could probably be using. | ||
| I don't know if that would help them. | ||
| I could probably have some more protection. | ||
| The technology is probably around the corner. | ||
| It's probably like some type of weird airbag in a helmet that they're going to end up getting or something weird. | ||
| Right, like maybe a decelerator or something like that that absorbs the impact of the hit on your head so it doesn't snap you back. | ||
| The conventional wisdom is that the helmets actually make it worse, because they can hit each other much harder, whereas they get more damage than a rugby player gets. | ||
| Rugby players, because they know there's no padding, they're not doing the same kind of crazy shit. | ||
| It requires different techniques if you want to have a career. | ||
| I mean in rugby's obviously they get down and dirty and it's a very very tough game, but you have to do a totally different thing when you're not padded up. | ||
| It's like if you watch their scrums and you watch some of the crazy physical altercations they have, it looks more like running and wrestling. | ||
| There's like a lot of wrestling involved. | ||
| Whereas with football it's just this like fucking chaos of colliding bodies and people fucking smashing into people and jumping over people and I just re-listened to that NPR episode about football and how it started, and that's how football used to be. | ||
| It used to just be two people or two teams would line up, and they'd just run into each other and scrum and just slowly move the ball down the field. | ||
| Slowly, slowly, slowly. | ||
| And then eventually, as time went by, they started adding the pass and things, and now it's just... | ||
| The NFL has literally just passed the ball for as many touchdowns as you can get. | ||
| Hopefully nobody gets hurt. | ||
| Ian Edwards was trying to turn me into a soccer fan, but it just didn't take... | ||
| We tried. | ||
| We tried. | ||
| Me and him in a bar. | ||
| He showed me some super important game, and I'm just mocking it, mocking him, making fun of the whole thing. | ||
| I could see you being a pro wrestling fan before being a soccer fan. | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, look. | ||
| I've stated on numerous occasions I'm a huge Ric Flair fan. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| We're getting you there. | ||
| Baby steps. | ||
| I love The Rock. | ||
| I think The Rock is awesome. | ||
| I go to see all his movies. | ||
| I do. | ||
| I went to see Jumanji twice. | ||
| I got starstruck. | ||
| I met Ric Flair at the airport after the Royal Rumble. | ||
| It was so crazy. | ||
| Our flight had just gotten delayed on the tarmac and then canceled. | ||
| We get deboarded. | ||
| Everybody else is waiting at the desk. | ||
| I'm like, I'm going to go to the customer service part of this airline. | ||
| I know how this crap works. | ||
| There's a long line. | ||
| So I'm like, I'm going to go to the customer service. | ||
| And I'm walking by myself. | ||
| And there he is. | ||
| Walking straight at me by himself. | ||
| And I literally... | ||
| As I'm getting closer, I'm like, that's not Ric Flair. | ||
| That's not Ric Flair. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's not Ric Flair. | |
| And then out of my face comes, Nature Boy! | ||
| And he goes, Yeah, man. | ||
| I'm like... | ||
| Hell yeah, buddy! | ||
| Do you follow him on Instagram? | ||
| I follow him on Twitter. | ||
| I don't know if I do follow him on Instagram. | ||
| He's got a good Instagram. | ||
| I follow him on Instagram. | ||
| He's the best, man. | ||
| Just a legend. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, it's like stuff like that that I enjoy about pro wrestling. | ||
| That's what I enjoy. | ||
| The most ridiculous aspects of it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, I was a big fan of Jimmy the Superfly Snooker back in the day. | ||
| Because it was just so ridiculous that he would always wind up on the top rope. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Put some guy unconscious underneath him and he would fly through the air and land on him. | ||
| We were always pumped about it. | ||
| So silly. | ||
| There's a lot of fun stuff happening there. | ||
| There is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The man. | ||
| The nature. | ||
| Woo! | ||
| The nature. | ||
| Ha ha ha ha. | ||
| I used to be a fan of Bob Backlund. | ||
| Do you remember Bob Backlund? | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| I was like, he's a no-nonsense guy. | ||
| That's a no-nonsense guy. | ||
| That's how I felt about him. | ||
| He was, to me, what embodied an actual wrestler versus the pro wrestling. | ||
| And he stuck out like a sore thumb. | ||
| Because he did the pro wrestling thing, but not really. | ||
| What he basically did is just engulf you on the ground and hit you with some ridiculous... | ||
| Real wrestling that you're not really prepared for. | ||
| His finishing move fucking hurts. | ||
| Crossface chicken wing? | ||
| See, he was just, for whatever reason, he wasn't appreciated enough. | ||
| It hurts! | ||
| He was too normal. | ||
| People didn't appreciate him enough. | ||
| The figure four hurts in real life, too. | ||
| The figure four leg lock? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that a real thing? | ||
| Ric Flair invented it. | ||
| Oh, I know, but I'm saying, is it a real submission? | ||
| Look, here's the only catch. | ||
| It's a real submission, but the person has to basically let you put them in it. | ||
| Can I see it? | ||
| Or they have to be completely unconscious. | ||
| But Bob Backlund, I had you back, buddy, back in high school. | ||
| When all the other kids were, uh, they only liked the Superfly and then Hulk Hogan. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Let me see. | ||
| Step over. | ||
| See, you have to twist all the way around. | ||
| Okay, let me see this. | ||
| See, this is the part they have to be like, hey, what are you doing? | ||
| Hold on, let me see this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Drops. | |
| Oh, yeah, that's totally legit. | ||
| Yeah, dude, if you can get a guy into that position, that shit will hurt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| If you get a guy like Gordon Ryan puts you in something like that just for fun, yeah, he'll fuck your legs up. | ||
| But here's a, go back to it again, I don't think it's a good position for a couple reasons, though. | ||
| Right there it's good if you can get to that. | ||
| But I'm not sure what's stopping him from scooting his butt towards that guy's right leg. | ||
| Here's the catch. | ||
| If you can roll over while you're in the figure 4 leg lock, it completely reverses the polars of the pain. | ||
| So then Ric Flair would be like, oh no! | ||
| Well, let me see it again. | ||
| And by the way, that's also true in real life. | ||
| I've tested that. | ||
| Well, what I'm saying is like the position... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's... | |
| There's a natural way to defend it that it doesn't seem like the guy's defending it. | ||
| That's why I... Like, look. | ||
| Oh, he's trying to keep him from putting it in there. | ||
| Oh, he stepped on his dick. | ||
| Is he stepping on his dick? | ||
|
unidentified
|
A little bit. | |
| That's the Undertaker. | ||
| You're allowed to? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Oh, this is a sharp... | ||
| Oh, no, it is. | ||
| Okay, that's a heel hook. | ||
| Yeah, that's different. | ||
| Okay, the guy... | ||
| Here's why this is so fucking stupid. | ||
| The guy who's getting his leg cranked is actually the guy who's in the best position. | ||
| He's in a heel hook position. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You just grab his leg, right? | ||
| So who's supposed to be getting hurt here? | ||
| This is actually... | ||
| The guy in black. | ||
| The guy in black? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| The guy in black has a better position. | ||
| All he has to do is reach back with his right arm and hook his elbow onto the ankle. | ||
| No, you time out, motherfucker. | ||
| This is not a figure four leg lock. | ||
| This is embarrassing. | ||
| That's a heel hook. | ||
| He's giving him a heel hook and the other guy's pretending he's in pain. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| This isn't even a figure four leg lock. | ||
| I don't even know what this is. | ||
| It's a modified... | ||
| Oh, come on. | ||
| Look, he's in agony. | ||
| No, he's got a fucking heel hook. | ||
| Take the heel hook. | ||
| It's right there. | ||
| You go like this. | ||
| You clamp your hands together. | ||
| The match is over. | ||
| I mean, it's 100% over. | ||
| In real life, yeah. | ||
| Well, what the fuck are they doing then? | ||
| What are they doing? | ||
| Winners or losers? | ||
| Everybody gets a trophy? | ||
| Is that what you're doing? | ||
| You're showing a terrible position! | ||
| The guy in white is in trouble! | ||
| What happened? | ||
| The Undertaker one? | ||
| He broke out. | ||
| Oh, he broke out. | ||
| Yeah, the other guy's doing it wrong for the whole fucking time. | ||
| There's the inverted finger for it. | ||
| Yeah, this one maybe? | ||
| Okay, this is one. | ||
| Steps over. | ||
| Yeah, boy, it takes a lot of work to get someone to do that. | ||
| Wow, what is that? | ||
| I've never seen that one. | ||
| I'll tell you what that is. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| That looks painful. | ||
| Go back to that again. | ||
| Let me see that again. | ||
| I think it's the same thing. | ||
| I think it's the same thing. | ||
| Go back. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| A little bit further back. | ||
| I've got to see the setup. | ||
| I've got to see the setup. | ||
| Okay, he steps over. | ||
| The other guy is basically triangling his lower leg. | ||
| The guy on the bottom is in a better position. | ||
| This is nonsense. | ||
| The guy on the bottom fed his leg through the center, which is the worst thing he could have done right there. | ||
| He had a triangle on that. | ||
| He should have fed it. | ||
| He should have tried to go it through the... | ||
| He could have fucking swept that guy with that. | ||
| Let me see it one more time. | ||
| Let me see one more time. | ||
| See, this guy's stepping over and then this guy can just triangle that leg right there. | ||
| Why is he doing that? | ||
| He let him put it in the center. | ||
| Even if he lets him put it in the center, he's supposed to move as soon as that guy spins and then you're free. | ||
| He should have wound up on top there. | ||
| Oh, see, this is a true figure four. | ||
| This is a true figure four. | ||
| This is John Cena. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Boom, boom, boom. | ||
| Hmm, it might hurt. | ||
| Yeah, it'd probably hurt if a guy, a big gorilla like John Cena got you in that shit. | ||
| But you have to be almost dead. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| To be able to do all that shit. | ||
| I mean, he might be able to do it to me. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But it's a person his size. | ||
| For example, if anybody ever hit a figure four leg lock in a real fight, that would be the most watched WorldStar video ever. | ||
| I wonder if it's been done. | ||
| Figure four! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Figure four! | |
| See, the thing is today, well, John Cena reversed it. | ||
| Oh, that's actually real. | ||
| That's real as fuck. | ||
| That hurts like hell. | ||
| What he's doing is he's fucking that guy's knee up and he's cranking on his neck at the same time. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And under his nose, the inside of his wrist. | ||
| Whoa, you can tap now? | ||
| Oh, you've always been able to tap. | ||
| That's the whole point. | ||
| That's how Ric Flair beats people. | ||
| I always thought that you'd get counted out when you pin the guy. | ||
| That's one way. | ||
| Is this a new thing? | ||
| Countouts? | ||
| How long have they been tapping for pins? | ||
| There's disqualification, countouts, tapouts, and if the ref hits the mat three times with his hand... | ||
| How long have they been tapping out? | ||
| How many years? | ||
| Forever. | ||
| From the beginning? | ||
| Bob Backlund, who you mentioned... | ||
| He's tapping people out? | ||
| Yeah, he's a cross-faced chicken wing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How do I forget this? | |
| They have submission-only matches. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| That goes on for 45 minutes. | ||
| Did they have them back in the Superfly days? | ||
| I think so. | ||
|
unidentified
|
With Iron Sheik? | |
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Iron Sheik's move. | ||
| Camel Clutch. | ||
| Submission. | ||
| He made guys tap. | ||
| They quit. | ||
| Camel Clutch hurts in real life, too. | ||
| Why did I block that out of my memory? | ||
| Mandible Claw is one of the best. | ||
| That's a weird thing to block out of your memory. | ||
| Why did I block out the tap outs? | ||
| Because you have not wanted to be a pro wrestling fan. | ||
| You have been in denial of your love. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| This is the Mandible Claw from Mankind. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Puts a sock on his hand and then shoves his two fingers underneath your tongue. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| And then squeezes his thumb underneath your chin in that space and tries to connect it. | ||
| What do they call that? | ||
| The Mandible Claw. | ||
| But at one point, it was Mr. Socko, when he was working with The Rock, and they had the Rocko-Socko connection. | ||
| Shut your fucking mouth. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So he's got a sock puppet on, and he stuffs it in your mouth, and that's how he submits you? | ||
| No, he keeps the sock in his underwear until it's time. | ||
| And then when he gets you down, the crowd goes crazy. | ||
| So you got ball sweat? | ||
| He's pulling that ball sweat sock out? | ||
| He pulls the sock out and lifts it up, and that crowd goes insane. | ||
| That is the dumbest and most awesome thing I've ever heard. | ||
| At the same time. | ||
| The dumbest and most awesome thing at the same time. | ||
| Heck yeah. | ||
| See, that kind of shit, that's funny. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| But the thing about pro wrestling is that a lot of people, myself included, don't want to enjoy it. | ||
| They don't want to let go for something like that. | ||
| I think you were perhaps weeks away from becoming a pro wrestling fan. | ||
| I think you're delusional. | ||
| You've always been an interesting guy, Tony, but I don't trust your judgment on many issues. | ||
| That's being one of them. | ||
| Oh, I think you're weeks away. | ||
| You're gonna watch Ronda's match, though. | ||
| You're gonna see what happens at WrestleMania. | ||
| I mean, you're definitely gonna watch highlights. | ||
| The fuck is wrong with you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The fuck is wrong with you. | |
| They rebooted the Cosmos, son. | ||
| I'm watching that. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| It's so fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But pro wrestling's fun, man. | ||
| I just took everybody... | ||
| We went to the Royal Rumble, had a blast, took a whole crew of LA comedians out to Philly, saw Ronda Rousey come out. | ||
| We were all very surprised. | ||
| It was exciting. | ||
| Yeah, it was a big deal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You guys get super excited. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, we went crazy. | ||
| That part I can't get high. | ||
| I just... | ||
| All the nuances to follow along, who's mad at who. | ||
| Oh, you would love it. | ||
| They keep it really easy. | ||
| Just like UFC, they give you a little breakdown before. | ||
| They have their own Joe Rogan type who's doing the voiceover. | ||
| Here's why this person's like this. | ||
| The technical side of things. | ||
| They do a cool little background and explanation before so you can catch up quick. | ||
| And then all of a sudden, BOOM! You're watching... | ||
| The only thing that seems interesting about the possibility of that is that To me, I've overdosed on reality. | ||
| Whether it's pawn shows or whatever the fuck it is that's on TV. Swamp people or people making moonshine. | ||
| All that stuff. | ||
| I don't have any desire to watch any more reality. | ||
| Do you know who Braun Strowman is? | ||
| No, but what I was going to say is... | ||
| I'd rather watch like a really good fiction. | ||
| Like something that's good. | ||
| Some show. | ||
| Something that's like written. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Somewhere I know it's going to be good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| Not every now and then a guy tries to mouth fuck a dude with a sock on his hand. | ||
| No. | ||
| That's kind of funny. | ||
| That's kind of funny, but I don't have the kind of time to wait for that to generate. | ||
| It's like when I hear about Saturday Night Live sketches, I'm like, I'm sure they get one every now and again that's fucking amazing. | ||
| But I don't have 90 minutes on Saturday Night Live. | ||
| I agree with you 100% on Saturday Night Live. | ||
| But they get good ones. | ||
| They get good ones. | ||
| Not as good as pro wrestling. | ||
| Listen, those Alec Baldwin ones, he knocks it out of the park. | ||
| There's some funny shit. | ||
| Still. | ||
| Alec Baldwin's done some stuff with Pro Wrestling. | ||
| I'm sure he has. | ||
| What's Alec Baldwin's most popular show? | ||
| 30 Rock Pro Wrestling. | ||
| 30 Rock is Pro Wrestling? | ||
| No, The Rock. | ||
| I tried to make a reference there, but it didn't work. | ||
| Isn't 30 Rock just like an address? | ||
| You're silly. | ||
| You're a silly person. | ||
| That's the worst pun you've ever done. | ||
| You need to take a break from puns. | ||
| Refuel. | ||
| Every time I'm on this show, you tell everybody that I'm the pun king. | ||
| People come see my stand-up. | ||
| They're like, I'm really surprised that you didn't do any puns after. | ||
| You rattled off three or four really good ones right before this show started. | ||
| I try to hold back. | ||
| During the whole Jane Goodall thing, you don't think I wanted to say chimpin' ain't easy? | ||
| I wanted to, but I didn't. | ||
| Why didn't you say it? | ||
| I don't want to be known as the pun guy. | ||
| Dude, you're funny. | ||
| But I'm funny in other ways. | ||
| You are. | ||
| Don't be insecure. | ||
| Let your talent shine. | ||
| You're very funny with puns. | ||
| I'm trying to show my full balance. | ||
| You have that too. | ||
| But don't hold your puns back when you know that they're natural. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| You got them right there. | ||
| They're popping in your fucking crazy head. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| Let them free. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| Let them free, Tony Hinchcliffe. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| Let those fuckers free. | ||
| Let them free! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Pun it up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're nice people, so we're not going to repeat what we said before the show started. | ||
| Where you were rattling off all those puns. | ||
| I don't remember them. | ||
| That's not important. | ||
| Is there ever been a time in your life where there was something that you now think is really fucking stupid, but you believed in then, like ghosts or anything goofy like that? | ||
| Yeah, I still think there's a slight chance that I saw something one day at the comedy store. | ||
| It's silly, but yeah, I don't know what it was. | ||
| Maybe I was borderline about to pass out. | ||
| Maybe it was like a low blood sugar attack, but I saw something weird one day out of all the days that I worked there for years. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| In the middle of the day one day I was working the phones on the second floor in the phones room where like the booker's room is now. | ||
| And I was going outside to the belly room to like smoke a joint or smoke a cigarette or something like that. | ||
| But that's a dark room and I was walking through there and when I was walking through there... | ||
| I stopped and felt like something it just felt weird like something in my gut felt weird and I sort of stopped and I looked to my right right where that other door is like if you're walking into the belly room from the belly room green room and there's that green hallway and you finally come across so you're right in front of the men's room well right to your right there's that other door that leads down to like the back bar and the back gullet hole everything so those two doorways are right next to each other and I stopped there and I saw some weird white Silver floaty looking thing. | ||
| This was like eight years ago. | ||
| Cigarette smoke? | ||
| Some of the smoking cigarettes over there and they blew some smoke? | ||
| No, it was indoors. | ||
| I'm indoors. | ||
| Somebody was smoking cigarettes indoors? | ||
| No, this is back when nobody was at the Comedy Store during the day. | ||
| It's impossible to smoke cigarettes indoors at this time. | ||
| Yeah, nobody else... | ||
| Was it smoke? | ||
| It was more glowing than smoke. | ||
| Like, it had its own... | ||
| Was it spooky smoke? | ||
| It could have been perhaps a reflection off of headshots, but there was nothing on that side. | ||
| It was an empty bathroom. | ||
| May I suggest that this was during the day? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And the dust in the comedy store is world class. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| World class. | ||
| The last time they run a motherfucking vacuum cleaner over those stairs is the first time they run a motherfucking vacuum cleaner over those stairs as you're walking up there. | ||
| I'm just kidding now. | ||
| It's pretty clean now, but that's how it used to be for the longest time. | ||
| And you're going to see, like, when the wind, like, a window's open and the sunlight's coming through, you know that glint? | ||
| There's so much dust there that, like, you could see it in those little beams. | ||
| Like, you could see it float in the air. | ||
| You'd be walking by going, oh, great, I'm breathing in that. | ||
| All those old buildings are like that, right? | ||
| The kicker with this one was that I didn't tell anybody about it because I was obviously like, whatever. | ||
| I mean, it freaked me out. | ||
| I didn't end up smoking. | ||
| I remember I slowly turned around and walked back to the phone's room because I was freaked out. | ||
| I interrupted you to try to be funny and I failed. | ||
| So could you just explain it one more time? | ||
| Like you're walking, you see this thing. | ||
| What do you see? | ||
| Describe it to me. | ||
| It's sort of like human height, but like glowy. | ||
| It sort of looked like, I would say like a jellyfish. | ||
| Is it shaped like a human? | ||
| Sort of. | ||
| Sort of, a little bit. | ||
| Like it seemed like it had like... | ||
| Casper? | ||
| Sort of, yes. | ||
| As cheesy as that sounds, it sort of did. | ||
| But it was more, it wasn't like a solid white. | ||
| It was like... | ||
| Here's a question. | ||
| This is a good one. | ||
| Like why were ghosts always depicted as being like wispy? | ||
| Ghosts were always wispy and flying through the air. | ||
| And the creepy thing is, that's what this sort of felt like. | ||
| It felt wispy. | ||
| Like on the sides, there was sort of like a... | ||
| I don't know, sort of like how you see that with a fish or something like that. | ||
| Oh, right, right. | ||
| Like little tentacles or something moving it through the air. | ||
| I know this sounds ridiculous, but that's what I saw. | ||
| Look, it does sound ridiculous, but again, so do people. | ||
| People sound ridiculous. | ||
| Like, if we were in a real thing, and you had to think about, like, if there was no life form that changed the environment around it. | ||
| None. | ||
| The biggest thing would be like a... | ||
| A hermit crab or something like that steals a shell and lives inside of it. | ||
| If that was how most of nature was, like a bear den, or the bear dug a hole on the side of the hill. | ||
| If that was it, there's the extent of people and animals and birds making nests, and then all of a sudden you went to a new place and you saw Manhattan, You would be so fucking freaked out. | ||
| You wouldn't be able to believe that this one organism is capable of altering the environment around it so radically. | ||
| And it's the only thing like it. | ||
| The only thing like it by far. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| What we are is very crazy. | ||
| You know, I mean, I think people are awesome. | ||
| I enjoy talking to them. | ||
| I love what we do. | ||
| I love to be able to podcast and do stand-up and have fun and... | ||
| But just what we are, just what the human race is, is a weird thing, man. | ||
| Weird little multicolored thing that wears clothes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Constantly evolving? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| We have status. | ||
| Some of it dependent upon what's on your feet. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He's got some fresh Jordans. | ||
| Is that a thing still? | ||
| Did the kids still say fresh? | ||
| I don't know if they'd be fresh. | ||
| I'm bringing back fresh. | ||
| I don't know if it's gone. | ||
| I'm bringing back fresh. | ||
| We need to bring back fresh. | ||
| You can't let fresh go by. | ||
| If someone looks at you and goes, Jamie looking fresh. | ||
| I think that's still here. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Has to be. | ||
| Looking fresh. | ||
| I've passed many generations of people thinking that things are cool and uncool. | ||
| I just missed. | ||
| A lot of shit. | ||
| No one really says cool, though. | ||
| Oh, I say that all the time. | ||
| Well, there you go. | ||
| Well, that's cool. | ||
| You look cool, man. | ||
| Yeah, Duncan would definitely do it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's cool, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, that's fucking cool, man. | |
| Yeah, Duncan definitely still says cool. | ||
| It's funny, though, how those words sort of go in a cycle, right? | ||
| Like, if people use them a lot, and then, like, certain words, they get used so much. | ||
| That you're like, totes. | ||
| You know, people start saying things like that. | ||
| You're like, what? | ||
| Like, where's all this coming from? | ||
| Why is everybody saying that? | ||
| There's a bunch of those little weird sayings that people start saying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm trying to figure out some other ones that people started saying pretty recently. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| I had one at the tip of my tongue. | ||
| Really common, buzzy things. | ||
| Budweiser, like, what's up? | ||
| Did everybody just say what's up to everyone? | ||
| That was one of the first ones. | ||
| That's so annoying. | ||
| That was one of the first ones. | ||
| But there's been some other ones that people just like little weird patterns that people just repeat over and over again. | ||
| They hear other people say, you know. | ||
| It's interesting how those sort of get passed around. | ||
| They sound cool. | ||
| Someone says something that sounds cool and everybody starts saying it. | ||
| Yeah, there's a bunch of them. | ||
| Totes makeouts. | ||
| You know what I say and I really mean it? | ||
| I say to my friends, I hope everything's groovy. | ||
| I say that. | ||
| I always say that in, like, text messages. | ||
| You know what I say a lot? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean it. | |
| Only in person, but I always say, what's cooking good looking? | ||
| I found out people love it. | ||
| Men love it. | ||
| Women love it. | ||
| Everybody loves it. | ||
| Why not, right? | ||
| That's a compliment. | ||
| Instead of just saying hi, it's like, hey, what's cooking good looking? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| They tell you, Tony Hinchcliffe's a fun guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right away. | ||
| Yep. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, good looking. | |
| What you got cooking? | ||
| Imagine if that was the only kind of song that you could listen to. | ||
| That's all they had. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was about cooking something up with me. | |
| Man. | ||
| That used to be... | ||
| Dude, imagine back when they only had a harp. | ||
| That's all they had, a fucking harp. | ||
| And everybody would just sit around going... | ||
| They're covered in blood. | ||
| They have fucking sword marks all over their body. | ||
| And some asshole's up there playing a harp. | ||
| You're supposed to take it seriously. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck that harp. | |
| I started watching Vikings. | ||
| I'm on season one. | ||
| You ever watch Vikings? | ||
| It's a good fucking show. | ||
| The first episode, I was like, oh, this is very TV show-ish. | ||
| I was prejudiced going in, but it wasn't. | ||
| The first one is a little slow, sort of setting it up around, because they're setting everything up, and they have to over a long period of time, and to get to about episode four, it starts cracking, where you're like, whoa, this is a good fucking show. | ||
| I don't know how much of it is historically accurate, but it is on the History Channel. | ||
| But, man, the Vikings were crazy! | ||
| They were doing mushrooms and having orgies, and the women would fight in battle. | ||
| They were wild fucking people, man. | ||
| I don't know how much of this is really, really accurate or what actual historians think about it. | ||
| I mean, we know that Vikings were incredible warriors, big, giant fucking dudes. | ||
| And that's like what you see still over there in Iceland. | ||
| Like, you know, they have like some of the strongest men competitions. | ||
| Like a lot of those dudes come from Iceland. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, duh. | ||
| Those are the rapers and the pillagers. | ||
| Yeah, just throwing barrels. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| A thousand years ago, those guys showed up on shore covered with armor and swinging an axe and you are fucked. | ||
| You're fucked. | ||
| Everybody's fucked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those guys were crazy. | ||
| And, again, I don't know how much of this show is horseshit and how much of it is, you know, actual historical data and how much of it's just dramatic interpretations of what they thought would be cool that would happen. | ||
| Mostly that, right? | ||
| There's no way you actually know what they said a thousand fucking years ago. | ||
| A bunch of stories being passed down. | ||
| No pictures of the guy. | ||
| You know, like, yes, things get real weird when you're talking about a thousand years ago. | ||
| But, fuck, it's interesting. | ||
| Makes you wonder, like, how would I survive in this crazy environment? | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| I'm cold all the time. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| All the time. | ||
| There's always a part every morning when I get out of the shower in which I just want to, like, die right after shutting off the water before grabbing my towel. | ||
| You would die then. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You wouldn't be able to make it with the Vikings. | ||
| No, I wouldn't make it. | ||
| You wouldn't be able to make it. | ||
| Uh-uh. | ||
| You've accepted that though. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| I like that because you're not fighting it. | ||
| It's just like, this is who I am. | ||
| It's been that way my whole life. | ||
| I've always hated the cold. | ||
| No doubt it's a big part of me picking LA over New York. | ||
| Do you wear footie pajamas? | ||
| No, only because I don't have footie pajamas. | ||
| Fuck to a fucking bunch of people. | ||
| If you should set up one of them Amazon gift accounts that some gals have, Instagram fame gals, where people could spoil you. | ||
| If anybody wants to give me some footie pajamas, I'm 5'9", about $1.45 right now. | ||
| Let's do this. | ||
| You need footie pajamas with Bugs Bunny ears. | ||
| You need a full Bugs Bunny outfit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The tan rabbit outfit. | ||
| Little sleeping hat up top. | ||
| Yeah, or anything else that's too dangerously furry. | ||
| You can get away with just ears, but as soon as you have a tail... | ||
| You have a tail, bro? | ||
| You have a tail? | ||
| It's not pajamas anymore, man. | ||
| That's a fucking costume. | ||
| Yeah, see right there? | ||
| That's not a costume. | ||
| That's pajamas. | ||
| But let me see his ass. | ||
| Oh, look at his feet. | ||
| His feet. | ||
| It's clearly pajamas because you can't have a costume where the feet are heads, too. | ||
| Nobody thinks those feet are your heads. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| So those are pajamas. | ||
| He's got feet. | ||
| The feet are heads. | ||
| That doesn't even make sense. | ||
| How's that work? | ||
| Imagine? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You got, well, I got my big head, then I got two little heads that I walk around on. | |
| What the fuck kind of species are you? | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Look at this thing. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So the ears are on top, and then, what, you can't get enough mice? | ||
| So you have to have mice downstairs, too? | ||
| Is that what this is? | ||
| Or a rabbit? | ||
| You can't get enough rabbit? | ||
| I need more rabbit, Dad. | ||
| Sweetie, I got you a rabbit costume. | ||
| You are a rabbit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But my feet aren't rabbits! | |
| Look at my feet aren't rabbits, Dad! | ||
| Debbie's feet are rabbits! | ||
| Alright, we'll get you the rabbit's feet. | ||
| Okay, we'll get you the rabbit's feet. | ||
| But no tail. | ||
| Does someone demand the rabbit's feet? | ||
| This is what I want to know. | ||
| Like, how did he get to that? | ||
| Did someone say, well, we've been trying to make actual rabbit feet, but they look stupid. | ||
| And then someone come along and go, I got an idea. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Take a little stuffed rabbit head and put it right in the end of your foot. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| What are we doing here? | ||
| Is this a new mythical creature we're creating? | ||
| It's got heads on its feet? | ||
| The fuck is that? | ||
| Each feet with its own... | ||
| Everybody just accepts it. | ||
| Just take it home, give your kids some fucked up anatomy lesson. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Daddy, look, I have heads on my feet. | |
| How come I can't have heads on my feet? | ||
| That's how it starts. | ||
| Yeah, heads on the feet is exactly where it starts. | ||
| Do you ever wear anything weird to bed? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You do? | ||
| Wow, I think everybody wants to know. | ||
| Wear armor. | ||
| Never know. | ||
| Helmets and shit. | ||
| It's a loud sleeper. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Batman. | |
| Oh, that's cool. | ||
| You got a Superman. | ||
| He's got a nice one. | ||
| Superman seems to not actually have a cape, too, which is good. | ||
| Batman seems to be a real cape. | ||
| Is that a real cape of Batman? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Whoa, so you don't want to sleep with a cape and choke yourself in the middle of the night and die in your sleep. | ||
| You know? | ||
| You know? | ||
| It just doesn't seem right. | ||
| The Wonder Woman one. | ||
| You know what drives me crazy about all this Wonder Woman shit? | ||
| It's men who get upset at Wonder Woman. | ||
| It's the same thing that drives me crazy about this Black Panther movie. | ||
| What drives me crazy about this Black Panther movie is people getting upset about this Black Panther movie. | ||
| On both sides. | ||
| First of all, white people making a big deal. | ||
| Like, oh great, it's all black people. | ||
| What shouldn't it just be all good people? | ||
| Of course, this is the way the story was, and this is the way they want to promote it. | ||
| Why do you care? | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| But then it goes the other way, and I do care. | ||
| Where I've seen crazy liberal psychos, and they were white people in fact, saying, white people, stay the fuck out of the theater while Black Panther is out. | ||
| Don't steal their joy with your white privilege. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I literally saw something along those lines. | ||
| I saw a couple of those. | ||
| One of them where a woman was asking when it was appropriate to see it and she didn't want to ruin it with her whiteness. | ||
| She was totally serious. | ||
| Totally serious. | ||
| And those people were real people. | ||
| And they think that that makes sense. | ||
| Like, God damn it. | ||
| When Shaft was out, do you think white people couldn't go see Shaft? | ||
| When Blade came out in 98, did white people stay home? | ||
| Like, what are we doing? | ||
| Are we more divided now than we ever were before? | ||
| Are we so silly that you can't? | ||
| I want to go see Black Panther because I like fucking superhero movies and it looks cool. | ||
| The fact that anybody would give a shit one way or the other, I guess if you're a black kid or a black guy, it's like, hey, this gives all of us hope that there's more opportunity for movies to be made like that, that people aren't really racist, and they can embrace a black superhero the same way they can embrace the Hulk or Thor, if the movie's really good. | ||
| And I hope the movie's really good, and I hope that's exactly what happens. | ||
| But how the fuck did it change so much from when Blade was around? | ||
| Because when Blade was around, dude, nobody even thought about the fact that it was a black superhero movie. | ||
| I mean, I guess some people did. | ||
| But the emphasis was the fact that Wesley fucking Snipes was Blade. | ||
| And it looked good. | ||
| And he was doing karate and chopping vampires up with swords and shit. | ||
| It was a fucking badass movie. | ||
| That movie was super successful. | ||
| They did two sequels. | ||
| So, like, what's changed? | ||
| How the fuck has it changed from then until now? | ||
| Like, why is it a big deal if there's a black superhero, but it wasn't a big deal then? | ||
| Like, are we deteriorating, or is it just more noise? | ||
| Because of social media, do you get a more distorted sense of how the country actually feels? | ||
| because the people that are more inclined to chime in regularly and vehemently are oftentimes not the ones who are calculated and assessing thinkers. | ||
| They're maybe a little bit more aggressive, shooting off the cuff. | ||
| So what you're getting is not an accurate representation of how people feel. | ||
| But then you start defending it as if it is accurate. | ||
| And so then people start telling white people to stay the fuck home. | ||
| Now you've got craziness. | ||
| And you've got craziness because of the fringe. | ||
| The fringe on both sides. | ||
| But in the middle, most people are like, I hope it's a cool movie. | ||
| Could you imagine if you had a friend and you want to go see that Black Panther movie? | ||
| Nah man, fucking these uppity black dudes are just really getting into this movie too much. | ||
| You'd be like, what? | ||
| You would immediately stop hanging out with that guy. | ||
| And you'd probably tell all of us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You'd be like, you want to know what that fucking guy said? | |
| And we'd be like, what? | ||
| You know, all that stuff is disgusting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All of it's disgusting. | |
| It's disgusting on both sides. | ||
| It's like any time you're prejudiced against white people or even critical about yourself being white, that you should stay the fuck away from places. | ||
| That is crazy! | ||
| I'm not talking about intruding on cultural rituals. | ||
| We're talking about an awesome movie. | ||
| Everybody who can buy a ticket should buy a ticket. | ||
| It'll make the movie more successful. | ||
| You want giant opening weekends. | ||
| If you really love this movie and you want movies like this to be successful, you should be promoting it for everybody. | ||
| White people, black people, Asian people. | ||
| Who gives a fuck? | ||
| Go see the superhero movie. | ||
| It's going to be fun. | ||
| He's got a pendant. | ||
| It turns into a fucking bulletproof outfit and he fucks people up. | ||
| You shoot him, he gets more powerful. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| Go watch. | ||
| Like, who gives a shit if it's... | ||
| I get the people that take pride in it. | ||
| They feel like something's happening for them, that it's a black guy. | ||
| But the people that are white that have an issue with it, oh my god. | ||
| You've got to let some shit go. | ||
| You've just got to let the noise go by. | ||
| Don't let it bounce around inside your head and come up with a, yeah, but I'm not racist and why do I have to get shoved in my face? | ||
|
unidentified
|
And... | |
| Everybody's got to meet in the middle. | ||
| It's a crazy time. | ||
| Everybody's got to meet in the middle. | ||
| There's way less tension and conflict than is being verbalized. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| I think if people just realize that a lot of the shit that we're clinging to is just some ways we've been thinking and behaving for a long time, and then we can all just fucking communicate with each other just a little bit better. | ||
| I just don't think... | ||
| I don't think that racism's gotten worse. | ||
| I think it absolutely has gotten worse in some places. | ||
| I think there's places where racism exists. | ||
| And I think when you have young kids that are raised with racism and family members that are raised with racism in a community that embraces racism, which has existed in the past. | ||
| We don't even have to talk about today. | ||
| But in the past, there was most certainly really racist neighborhoods. | ||
| Italian neighborhoods in New York where if black people moved in, they were treated terribly and horrible shit happened. | ||
| And a lot of times they weren't even allowed to move in in the first place. | ||
| There's always been stuff like that. | ||
| So if there's always been stuff like that, it's a natural human inclination that we have to iron out. | ||
| We can't just eliminate it by making it illegal or eliminate it by prosecuting people. | ||
| We have to figure out why people think like that. | ||
| It's a scary way to think. | ||
| It's a scary way to think that anyone... | ||
| Look, first of all, all of us, all of us, almost anyone listening to this, in comparison to someone like Elon Musk, is basically a chimp. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| So, you want to be racist? | ||
| You should be racist against this African guy that's smarter than everybody. | ||
| Like, that's a real African guy. | ||
| From South Africa. | ||
| Elon Musk? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's a real African American. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, legitimately. | ||
| But obviously, there's a difference between black, African, and I believe it was the Dutch that originally settled that area. | ||
| You know, and he's the descendants of those people. | ||
| But my point is... | ||
| Like, we're all dumbasses compared to that guy. | ||
| So stop getting all uppity about white people, you know, having better GPAs than whatever other race you're comparing us to. | ||
| Because you're stupid compared to that one African dude. | ||
| Like, you're dumb. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| For sure, like, there's no way your vote should count more than his. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Mine personally or most people? | ||
| Anybody's. | ||
| Yours personally. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| This idea that this one race is better than the other race is fucking stupid. | ||
| The people that are really clinging to it usually don't have shit going on other than that. | ||
| That's the problem with racism. | ||
| It puts people in a camp of winners when they really don't have to do shit to get into the team. | ||
| You know, the entrance is instantaneous. | ||
| You just, oh, you're white, you're in. | ||
| You know? | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| That's a ridiculous team. | ||
| That's one of the main problems with the ridiculous nature of racism, especially organized racism. | ||
| You're just going to take everybody that looks like you? | ||
| That's all. | ||
| Not how they think, not what they've read, not their life experiences, not how you feel when you're hanging around with them, not how they make you laugh. | ||
| No. | ||
| You want to make sure that they have blood from a certain patch of dirt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's so stupid. | ||
| And they moved the goalpost, too. | ||
| Because I'm a white guy now. | ||
| But when my grandparents came here, they were dirty guineas. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| They were thought of the way a lot of people think about Mexicans. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Same kind of thing. | ||
| No, exactly. | ||
| That's changed now. | ||
| Italians are full-on white. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Totally. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Very bizarre. | |
| We almost lost our distinction with Jersey Shore. | ||
| We almost lost it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We came real close to losing it. | ||
| Close. | ||
| But we're regular white now, again. | ||
| Feeling pretty good about regular white. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Your whole family's Italian, right? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Crazy Italian. | ||
| Everybody East Coast Italian is crazy Italian. | ||
| It's almost redundant. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| East Coast Italian is a different animal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My dad has an Italian restaurant though, so it's a little bit like amped up because the whole family will go there on his side and my mom makes crazy spaghetti sauce. | ||
| So that's what everybody wants for every holiday and everything. | ||
| So everybody's always trying to get like red sauce in their stomach. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Whether it's one side or the other of the family. | ||
| You know what's really interesting? | ||
| Is that, like, that sort of style of cooking is not the same out here. | ||
| At all. | ||
| I literally, last night, for Valentine's Day, my wife and I thawed out a container of my mom's sauce that she sent out in a frozen block and had that instead of going to some fancy dinner. | ||
| That's what we wanted. | ||
| And it was priceless. | ||
| And even then, in our... | ||
| I mean, every bite, you're like, holy... | ||
| It's like a New York bagel. | ||
| Or something like that to where it's just different, like 70% better than what you can find here in LA. Yeah, there's difference in the bread for sure. | ||
| There's no doubt about it. | ||
| And most people smarter than me attribute it to the water. | ||
| They think that there's something different in the water on the East Coast, like New York and Boston, that when they make bread, it's just a different flavor to it. | ||
| I also think that there's something to the humidity in the air. | ||
| They're actually being... | ||
| I mean, we forget we live in a desert because it doesn't feel like a desert, but it's a desert. | ||
| To bread, it's a desert. | ||
| That's a good point, man. | ||
| That's a real good point. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pasta tastes better there. | ||
| Pizza definitely tastes better there. | ||
| And bagels taste better there. | ||
| They have a different thing. | ||
| They feel different when they go in your mouth. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| Yeah, they're just better. | ||
| They're trying hard out here. | ||
| Some guys are getting really close. | ||
| Yeah, it's weird how they don't. | ||
| But if you really want to go cheat, get a good, solid New York-style bagel out here for a cheat day. | ||
| Everything's different out here. | ||
| They try, but it's not ever really the same. | ||
| Yeah, there's not nearly as many of those Middle Eastern food trucks as in New York. | ||
| In New York, those Middle Eastern food trucks are everywhere that have those killer kebabs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What do they call those things when it's a kebab sandwich inside a falafel or inside of a tortilla? | ||
| What do they call that shit? | ||
| It's like a pita, just a pita sandwich. | ||
| Shawarma? | ||
| Yes, isn't that it? | ||
| Yeah, shawarma, right? | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| And then they have that white sauce that they put on it. | ||
| You know, they squirt all that shit on it. | ||
| Tzatziki sauce. | ||
| Tzatziki sauce, right. | ||
| And then the hot sauce on top of that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| If it's like 2 o'clock in the morning and you've had like one more drink than you should have. | ||
| Just one more. | ||
| You're alright. | ||
| You're like, oh, but I'm so hungry. | ||
| And you see that, you're like, yeah. | ||
| We have taco trucks here, though. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Tons of them. | ||
| That's true. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good ones. | |
| That's true. | ||
| We have way more good Mexican food here. | ||
| Way more. | ||
| But obviously, dude, there's a joint down the street. | ||
| I wish we had more time today. | ||
| I'll take you to, like, one of the most legit Mexican joints in the valley. | ||
| I don't even want to say the name. | ||
| I don't want white people to find out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm going to ruin it. | |
| These white, ruinous people ruining my authentic Mexican place. | ||
| You go in there, dude, they got authentic Mexican TV shows playing. | ||
| Barely anybody understands what the fuck you're saying when you're ordering things. | ||
| So you have to order, you know, dos quesadillas. | ||
| You gotta talk. | ||
| You gotta read off the menu. | ||
| A few of those guys understand English, but the food is insane. | ||
| They have tongue. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They have this whole bucket full of boiling tongue. | |
| They're chopping up, making lingua tacos. | ||
| I love that shit. | ||
| White people don't know what they're doing with tongues. | ||
| What do they do? | ||
| They turn it into some Jewish deli food or that's it. | ||
| But Mexican food, they're like, that's the move. | ||
| Lengua's expensive. | ||
| It's fucking awesome. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| It's a weird sort of texture. | ||
| Cow tongue. | ||
| So good. | ||
| That's a legit place, though. | ||
| And then you go to the... | ||
| They always have a real legit place. | ||
| We'll have those little aluminum, chrome-looking containers. | ||
| And they're filled with jalapenos and peppers and onions, right? | ||
| And you scoop that fucking... | ||
| That big clump of death out of there. | ||
| Those jalapenos, man. | ||
| There's always those creepy carrots for some reason. | ||
| Yeah, some people like those carrots. | ||
| Take you off those jalapenos, but those jalapenos kick your ass. | ||
| You use jalapenos, and then there's jalapenos you find in those little dishes at Mexican restaurants. | ||
| Well, you bite into them, and you're like, whoa! | ||
| It's all seeds. | ||
| Fuck taking those seeds out. | ||
| Just thinking, that place had a vibe where you gotta kinda know what you're doing when you go in there. | ||
| Similar to that place you took me in New York. | ||
| It's a famous deli, but I can't remember the name. | ||
| Is that where we went? | ||
| At night? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where you gotta know what the fuck's going on. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta know where the fuck you're ordering and then where you're picking up. | ||
| It's not cut and dry. | ||
| But how legit is that place? | ||
| Yeah, unique place. | ||
| I was just thinking very unique to the coast because like in Ohio, we have our own unique restaurants and food and all that kind of stuff, but there aren't places like that where it's unique to that place, unique to Ohio. | ||
| There are a few places like that, but it's not a similar style of experience. | ||
| The place is always packed, too. | ||
| Always packed. | ||
| Because the food's so good. | ||
| Don't lose your ticket. | ||
| How's that for an interesting restaurant? | ||
| Cats, yeah. | ||
| Cats is weird. | ||
| If you lose your ticket and try to walk out, they charge you. | ||
| Yeah, this Mexican joint doesn't do it like that. | ||
| But the way Cats has it, if you've never been, Cats Deli in New York has been around since... | ||
| Whew! | ||
| God, I want to say more than 100 years old, I think. | ||
| Or somewhere in the neighborhood of 100 years old. | ||
| But when you go in there, you get a ticket? | ||
| 1888. Wow. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That's crazy. | ||
| Goddamn. | ||
| 1888. And I bet they ran it just the way they run it now. | ||
| You walk in, they give you a ticket, and then you walk up to the counters, and then this one guy that cuts up meat, another guy has pickles, and they'll give you samples. | ||
| They'll slice off a piece of brisket for you, and you're like, holy shit! | ||
| Slice off a little piece of that pastrami. | ||
| Corned beef. | ||
| The corned beef is off the fucking charts. | ||
| And you eat it with real American steak fries. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Every bite of it is just better than anything else. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So good. | |
| It's so good. | ||
| It's one of my favorite cheat meals. | ||
| Last time I was there, I was there with little Jimmy Norton and Russell... | ||
| Not Russell. | ||
| Jeff Ross came over and sat down with us. | ||
| I was there with you. | ||
| Yeah, remember that? | ||
| It was great. | ||
| That was awesome. | ||
| Out of nowhere, those guys just show up. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Dude, that was so good. | ||
| Well, Jimmy came to meet us there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But Ross, we just randomly ran into. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| That place is like... | ||
| There's no doubting, in my mind at least, that there's something special about a place that's been used for the same thing for a long time. | ||
| You know, like a place where you go and you feel it. | ||
| You're like, whoa, this place. | ||
| Madison Square Garden, like walking around in Madison Square Garden. | ||
| We did the UFC there. | ||
| You're walking around, you're like, whoa. | ||
| Like, this place feels different. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, it's got a resonance to it. | ||
| Like, maybe it's just my mind being aware of what an incredible building that is and all the incredible stars that have performed there. | ||
| But I think it's more than that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Carnegie Deli's gone. | ||
| You know, it's closed. | ||
| Yeah, it closes at the end of 2016. Oh my god. | ||
| As long as they don't close Cantor's in LA, I'm good. | ||
| I need Cantor's to stay open. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| You don't like Cantor's? | ||
| I'm not a Cantor's guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You son of a bitch. | |
| This is like where he plays the heel in wrestling. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He knows Cantor's is amazing. | ||
| He's like crossing his arms. | ||
| Look at his body. | ||
| You really believe that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cantor's? | |
| Look at him. | ||
| When do you go to Cantor's? | ||
| All the time. | ||
| Jamie's been with me. | ||
| Jamie's my real friend. | ||
| By the way, I live two blocks away from there. | ||
| And you would have met me there and complained about the food? | ||
| I don't know, you're a Cantor's guy. | ||
| I'm more into pro wrestling. | ||
| Greenblatt's is great, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, how dare you compare those two? | |
| I was bummed out that they closed the Jerry's Deli in Woodland Hills. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, no, now you have to go to Encino. | ||
| Yeah, because they closed the one in Beverly Hills, too. | ||
| That's wrong, too. | ||
| That's wrong. | ||
| I think they have Manhattan Beach now and Encino. | ||
| Those are the only two that are left. | ||
| That's too bad. | ||
| Old school, real Jewish delis like that, they have the most ridiculous chicken soup. | ||
| Have you ever had Jerry's deli? | ||
| Chicken soup? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Chicken soup? | ||
| Their chicken soup? | ||
| With Tabasco sauce and black pepper. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Mix that shit up. | ||
| As it's going down, chunks of juicy chicken in there with the noodles and the broth is perfect. | ||
| They've been making that broth since Jesus was around. | ||
| Wow, that's a scientific fact. | ||
| It's an old, old, old recipe. | ||
| The broth. | ||
| It's Jewish food. | ||
| They've been making that broth since Jesus was around. | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
| I don't know if Jesus is real, but that broth's real as fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which came first? | ||
| Jesus or the broth? | ||
| Dum-dum-dum. | ||
| I wonder if... | ||
| It probably had chicken soup forever, right? | ||
| Wouldn't you imagine? | ||
| Pretty simple. | ||
| Didn't he turn water into broth? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, you son of a bitch. | ||
| You thought that was gonna sneak through? | ||
| He turned the water into broth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Um... | ||
| That UFO Tony you were talking about was on Rescue 911. Did you know that? | ||
| Yeah, Liberty Officer Toby Malaro. | ||
| Turnbull County. | ||
| There's a whole thing. | ||
| It's on YouTube if you can find it. | ||
| You knew this guy and he was a dick? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you think it's bullshit? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, let's say allegedly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Let's protect ourselves legally. | ||
| Yeah, he... | ||
| Obviously, this is Tony speaking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I have no knowledge of this man, whether or not he's honorable or not. | |
| It's not my attention. | ||
| See, that's the cop. | ||
| I wondered, uh... | ||
| There he is. | ||
| Look, his buddy's laughing at him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah, that's Toby Malaro. | ||
| I'll always remember him. | ||
| You know what, man? | ||
| If people find out that they can get attention from saying that UFOs are real, that they saw them, they'll do it. | ||
| I know it from firsthand experience. | ||
| I've told this story before, but I don't know if I ever told it to you. | ||
| I was doing a show for CBS called Game Show in my head. | ||
| And what they had was they had a setup where I had an earpiece in and the person who was the contestant in the show had an earpiece in and we would set them out in the middle of somewhere and then start asking them questions and telling them what they were going to have to do. | ||
| We'd say, are you ready? | ||
| You ready to do this? | ||
| Okay, here is what you have to do. | ||
| I told this guy, you are a newscaster. | ||
| Now, you showed up to do a story about a guy who was taken aboard a UFO, a person who was taken aboard a UFO. But this person's gone, so you have to find a random stranger to pretend it was them. | ||
| And then tell you a story about getting taken aboard the spaceship and getting probed. | ||
| And dude, people just did it. | ||
| It was the weirdest thing ever. | ||
| So here it is. | ||
| So this is the young man, and this young man was... | ||
| Look at me. | ||
| So, um... | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right! | |
| I love that. | ||
| You win. | ||
| You have five minutes to win $5,000. | ||
| Good luck, buddy! | ||
| So this dude just walks up to people. | ||
| We'll probably get kicked off of YouTube for using any of this. | ||
| But this dude just comes up and talks to people and he just explains it to me. | ||
| I'm in a real bad situation. | ||
| There was a UFO visualization or whatever the fuck he says and I just need someone to pretend it was them. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And dude, people do it. | ||
| And when they do it, they put their shit down and they start telling a story. | ||
| And not just one guy. | ||
| I mean, he got several people to do it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, listen to the guy. | ||
| Well, we can't listen to it, right? | ||
| We'll get kicked off. | ||
| Anyway, you can go watch it. | ||
| Game show in my head. | ||
| The dude's name was Craig. | ||
| Sorry, Craig, if I can't remember your last name. | ||
| But he got a bunch of people to talk about being abducted by aliens. | ||
| The thing was, it was so easy. | ||
| When people know that they're going to be on camera, they get excited. | ||
| The idea of being on camera is like, I'll just fucking make some crazy shit up. | ||
| And then all of us sit back, or like Jane Goodall is like, I talked to two Native Americans and they told me... | ||
| They're probably giving her wine, trying to get freaky with her. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen Bigfoot. | ||
| I know where he lives. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Getting high and shit, you know. | |
| Maybe, but for real, maybe Bigfoot exists if you take peyote and go in the woods. | ||
| Maybe you can see him. | ||
| Maybe you only see a glimpse of him. | ||
| Maybe Bigfoot's a ghost that you only see when you're on peyote. | ||
| I think if I'm doing peyote in the woods, I'm definitely seeing Bigfoot on top of many other things. | ||
| Let me ask you this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you were... | ||
| If you could say, with 100% certainty, what if you had $1,000 to gamble? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Do you think you saw a ghost? | ||
| Or do you think you're just playing tricks on yourself and then the more you think about it, the more you've added stuff to the memory and fuck with that memory in your head. | ||
| It's actually a little bit scarier. | ||
| I'm gonna be honest with you. | ||
| It's a little bit scarier than I even told you. | ||
| Because, get this. | ||
| That night, after I didn't tell anybody all day, all of a sudden, Jeff Scott, out of all the nights that I've seen him there and hung out with him there, the house piano player of like 25 years, out of all the nights... | ||
| Without telling anybody what I saw earlier, not a soul. | ||
| Said that he saw that. | ||
| That night. | ||
| And I'm like, wait, what? | ||
| What'd you see? | ||
| And he's like, it was like a white glowing thing like that. | ||
| And that's when I went, dude, I saw that thing earlier today here. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| So there's the, there's the part that I, since you want to make it about a thousand bucks bet, if I, in imaginary money, like that part has to be said out loud. | ||
| Because that's crazy. | ||
| We were going to... | ||
| I've freaked myself out there before. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| A bunch of times. | ||
| You know what freaks me out the most? | ||
| The belly room when the shows are off. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| That's where this happened. | ||
| That's the spot that freaks me out the most. | ||
| And by the way... | ||
| It's also because it's really contained. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| No, I'm not being honest. | ||
| The main room when it's dark freaks me out the most. | ||
| The main room's freaky when it's dark. | ||
| I don't even like being in the back of the main room when it's dark. | ||
| There was a part of every day. | ||
| If you work the phones there, you have to walk through that. | ||
| When it's pitch, black, dark, to go turn on the lights, to turn on the power breaker for the whole marquee and everything. | ||
| So you have to go out there at like five or six before it gets dark, because the marquee has to go on before that. | ||
| I got one of them tactical flashlights, like the Rockwood in many of his action films. | ||
| Click, click. | ||
| You hold it up here like it's a... | ||
| Rambo knife and shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, looking ahead. | ||
| It's scary. | ||
| Oh, Jamie's got one right there in case shit hits the fan. | ||
| Who are you? | ||
| Who goes there? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The building's freaky. | ||
| And that belly room's got something because it is. | ||
| It's contained and you got Mitzi's unopened, sealed-off office to the other side of that wall. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Power. | ||
| Power. | ||
| That's where Sauron's eye is. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Zoran's Ring. | ||
| People don't even know about that. | ||
| Think about all the powerful decisions that took place in that one office. | ||
| All the different comedy that revolves around that one woman running that one club. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| If you really stop and think about it, what are the odds of that even being a thing? | ||
| How does one person who really knows how to run a comedy club the way she did How do they exist when no one does it that way? | ||
| And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with the way the other people do it and some of those other people I love dearly. | ||
| Like, I love Bob at the Ice House dearly. | ||
| He runs it different. | ||
| A lot of people run it different. | ||
| What I'm saying is that she did something that was... | ||
| Like, that's a crazy way to do it. | ||
| Let the inmates run the asylum. | ||
| Like even that one when she she made an adjustment to put him in the 15 year anniversary instead of some other guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's what got him the next thing that got him the next thing that made him one of the biggest comedy actors ever. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| It's obviously everything was prior. | ||
| Robin Williams, Andy Kaufman, blah blah blah. | ||
| It goes on and on. | ||
| It's stunning to think of how much comedy comes from the acts of one person. | ||
| The actions of one person. | ||
| Look at that ring. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Are you in the rings or something? | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| It's just crazy. | ||
| It's a gigantic black... | ||
| What do you think it is? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's a black and white picture. | ||
| You think it's a ruby? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| That's something you can never wear, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's huge. | |
| Do you ever think that we would get progressive enough where you could wear rubies? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Dudes can't wear ruby rings. | ||
| How many dudes? | ||
| Are any rappers like Ultra Super Floss and wearing rubies? | ||
| I'm all about rubies. | ||
| That's my thing. | ||
| I'm gonna be a new rapper. | ||
| My name is all about rubies. | ||
| Them rubies or rubies? | ||
| Them seems like cultural appropriation. | ||
| I'll just say all about rubies. | ||
| D-E-M. Dem? | ||
| Dem rubies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This reminds me of a lipstick challenge. | |
| Yeah, the lipstick challenge. | ||
| One of my favorite things. | ||
| We were high as fuck at the Comedy Store and we were trying to figure out some sort of a challenge and the loser would have to wear lipstick on stage for a year. | ||
| You'd have to wear it for the first 15 minutes of your set. | ||
| After that, you could wipe it off. | ||
| Just smear it off? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| For the first 15 minutes of your set, you'd have to have a thing of butt wipes sitting there on your little stool on stage. | ||
| So you'd do 15 minutes of your act with ruby red lips like Miranda Sings. | ||
| Do you know what Miranda Sings is? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pull up a picture of Miranda Sings on YouTube. | ||
| She's got a YouTube channel and a TV show. | ||
| Her TV show is Haters Back Off. | ||
| This is hilarious. | ||
| So that's her lips. | ||
| You're going to have to do your lips like that. | ||
| Go to the more attractive one right next to that one. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Now go back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There you go. | |
| Now go back. | ||
| That one. | ||
| Perfect. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| See, that's what we're going to do. | ||
| Just over accentuate the lips. | ||
| Clearly go above the actual shape of the lip. | ||
| One year. | ||
| Man. | ||
| And you should do a special about it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You should do a special. | ||
| Say, this is all my lipstick material that I'm going to burn off now because my curse has been lifted. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| One year wearing lipstick. | ||
| Is he wearing rubies? | ||
| Rapper's wearing, he's got $270,000. | ||
| Is that Gucci Mane? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Boy, Gucci Mane looks so much better now. | ||
| He's all thin and shit. | ||
| It's kind of interesting. | ||
| Like, he's always smiling, too. | ||
| Like, that dude looks happy as fuck. | ||
| Yeah, happy he's out of jail, but also just looks like he's smiling a lot. | ||
| He's like, it's interesting, I think, like, if I saw Gucci, and he's in all these pictures, and he's just kind of, like, mean-mugging, I'd have this one thought about him. | ||
| But instead, I see Gucci in all these pictures now, and he's always smiling about, I'll bet that guy's a friendly guy. | ||
| You know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It looks like he's having a good time. | |
| And he's killing it now, out of jail, right? | ||
| Isn't he, like... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See, even I know. | ||
| He's killing it in the rap game. | ||
| He just released a new album, he's got... | ||
| Oh, I thought you said he's back in jail. | ||
| No, no, no, not back in jail. | ||
| You ever listen to Migos? | ||
| No. | ||
| I think you'd like him. | ||
| Who's Migos? | ||
| Migos is like a new, it's like a rap group with three guys that, remember the Ying Yang twins? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So they're like the Ying Yang twins, but better than like with an extra member. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Powerful. | |
| I think you would like it. | ||
| Migos rings they just got. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| And they're like hilarious. | ||
| They're the funniest interviews. | ||
| Hold up. | ||
| Show me those rings again. | ||
| Go big with that picture with the fists. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Am I looking at like a half a million dollars in diamonds? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's real? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That seems crazy to do. | ||
| Doesn't it seem crazy to be walking around with a half a million dollars in diamonds? | ||
| Hey. | ||
| Better to be invested in diamonds than Bitcoin or something like that, right? | ||
| You never know, dude. | ||
| That Bitcoin shit might pop the fuck off and you'll be sitting here hating. | ||
| Yup. | ||
| You don't even know. | ||
| I do know one thing about Bitcoin. | ||
| If you say I think Bitcoin's stupid, people want to fuck you up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you could talk some shit on Bitcoin, those Bitcoin fanatics, they're rabid. | ||
| It's like a little bit of religion. | ||
| Just a touch. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Just a sprinkle. | ||
| Yeah, I think it is. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just a sprinkle. | ||
| And not necessarily just Bitcoin either, but there's a bunch of other crypto coins, which I fully support. | ||
| I have no dog in the fight. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And we keep five of it, which is all dedicated to Justin Wren, and anytime he wants, he can cash out. | ||
| This is all from when Antonopoulos is in there. | ||
| So I don't really have a stake in it, because that's all Justin Wren's money. | ||
| Real investment in Bitcoin is very fascinating to me because more people were interested in doing it and it eventually spread through the entire country. | ||
| Everybody just decided to do it and everybody figured out how to, you know, make it as secure as regular money is, which is not that secure. | ||
| I mean, people steal regular money too. | ||
| They could figure out how to make it more secure and better than it is now, which just seems like they would be able to. | ||
| You never know who's going to be faster, the hackers or the programmers. | ||
| It seems like What was the one coin that someone stole a shitload of recently? | ||
| You were just telling me about this. | ||
| Oh, yes. | ||
| 17 million nano was stolen off of an exchange. | ||
| Now, what's a nano? | ||
| It's a different cryptocurrency. | ||
| That's the name of the coin, yeah. | ||
| So the biggest one is Bitcoin. | ||
| Bitcoin, yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| What's the second biggest one? | ||
| Off of notoriety, probably Ethereum would be the second biggest, I would say. | ||
| Do you think it's possible that one day... | ||
| Artists will invent their own crypto coins, and that's how they buy and trade tickets to shows and goods from the people that support them. | ||
| Very possible, yes. | ||
| Think about this. | ||
| Golden Pony Dollars. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And Golden Pony Dollars is how people pay for your shows. | ||
| You set up like a bank of Golden Pony Dollars, like a crypto bank. | ||
| I don't know how you do it. | ||
| You do some blockchain voodoo magic programmer type shit. | ||
| Figure out how to do that. | ||
| Then, once you set that up, people buy that golden pony money in order to be able to pay you golden pony money for things. | ||
| But you only accept golden pony money. | ||
| And you can only spend golden pony money. | ||
| So the only people that accept your money, the people that accept, if you want to buy a washing machine, say, I'd like to buy it with some golden pony dollars. | ||
| They're like, no. | ||
| They don't like you. | ||
| They'd have to like you. | ||
| They'd go, yeah, Tony, you're a good guy. | ||
| You're funny. | ||
| I really love you on Kill Tony. | ||
| And your stand-up special on Netflix was a hoot. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| We'll let you pay in Golden Pony dollars. | ||
| And then you could buy a washing machine with Golden Pony dollars. | ||
| And that Golden Pony dollars would be traded exclusively through Golden Pony fans. | ||
| And so, like, you really are reliant upon your fans in a way different way. | ||
| Like, you're only getting paid by your fans. | ||
| And when they want out, they're like, fuck this Golden Pony money. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I want to get me some of that Sinbad dollars. | ||
| I want some Sinbad shekels. | ||
| But they still would have to cash out with me, right? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, they don't have to cash out with you. | ||
| They cash out with somebody else that's in the group. | ||
| Like, a certain amount of money just stays in the group. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Just like they do with Bitcoin. | ||
| There's a certain amount of Bitcoin that exists. | ||
| And the price of Bitcoin will go up and down, but the number will not change. | ||
| And so that's their remedy against the modern system that we have with inflation and printing new money and all that shit. | ||
| So there's only a certain amount of Bitcoin. | ||
| If I'm butchering this, I apologize. | ||
| I'm not smart. | ||
| You're close. | ||
| I have a little variations, but you're pretty close. | ||
| And so, if you did that with Golden Pony Dollars, you would set up like a Golden Pony Fund. | ||
| Like, this is the Bitcoin that I, you know, I've calculated this out with current Bitcoin prices. | ||
| If I charge you guys $20 for this thing, whatever the fuck it is, whatever you call the number, the name, what you'll be able to do is you'll be able to pay for my shows Only using that. | ||
| This is all I'm going to accept now. | ||
| And then I want to be able to use that to buy things from your store. | ||
| Sounds confusing. | ||
| I'm going to let people keep using normal money. | ||
| It's very confusing. | ||
| No, it's very confusing. | ||
| But the idea would be, say, you have some Golden Pony dollars. | ||
| You've got some George Lopez dollars. | ||
| There could be a bunch of people with their own exchanges. | ||
| And it could be worth something to you, worth more or less, depending on how they're killing it right now. | ||
| It's very confusing to me. | ||
| It's super confusing. | ||
| What I'm saying is, it's entirely possible that someone like Snoop Dogg is going to come up with his own Bitcoin. | ||
| It would have to be someone super baller that everybody would want their coin. | ||
| It would have to be someone like Kendrick Lamar Dollars. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, see? | ||
| If Kendrick Lamar puts out a Bitcoin or cryptocurrency and he says, hey fans, this is the only way you can buy tickets to my shows. | ||
| And when I buy shit, I want to buy shit only with this stuff, but it's real money. | ||
| So if I want to buy a Ferrari with Kendrick Lamar money, better sell it to me, bitch, because that Kendrick Lamar money is worth gold to all the Kendrick Lamar fans. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It would have to be someone of like a super, super high profile to do something like that. | ||
| Some interesting stuff. | ||
| It's not really. | ||
| You look or you're falling asleep. | ||
| He's barely staying awake for me. | ||
| This is sort of... | ||
| You're sort of describing one cryptocurrency. | ||
| This is called Steam or Steemit, which is the website that you can look at. | ||
| Is it a band? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| This is why like dig.com looks very similar to this. | ||
| It's like how that started. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| So here what would happen... | ||
| How you would have to exchange some money or another cryptocurrency to get some actual Steam. | ||
| But here is the, for instance, a person put up a really good article or a piece of content, if you will. | ||
| You upvote it, and then that person gets a coin or money from you, essentially. | ||
| Gets a Steam coin. | ||
| You upvote it with a coin. | ||
| And that's a very early or primitive way, I guess, describing what you would do. | ||
| So a person creates content, puts it online, and then the viewers then exchange And that currency only exists in this platform. | ||
| Then if another exchange anywhere in the world wants to start up and say, I deem your currency valuable, you can exchange it for my currency or another currency, then that's where the actual value comes in. | ||
| See, now that makes sense. | ||
| And also, especially if people are paying for stuff, like if you're writing things or making videos or something like that, and then people are paying for that, that's a fucking... | ||
| You know, we're trapped in this idea of this system that we have now as far as producers of television shows and movies and things like that, that this is how you get a job in show business. | ||
| That seems like how you get a job in show business. | ||
| If you can make videos... | ||
| And people will give you money for those videos? | ||
| Kind of what YouTube is, and a lot of people have made money off YouTube. | ||
| We're dealing in dollars and whatever in the old system. | ||
| But this seems like more next level. | ||
| This could be the new system that might take over, yeah. | ||
| Well, fascinating too, because it could be a blog, right? | ||
| It could be a video. | ||
| What else could it be? | ||
| This could be anything. | ||
| This is literally just Link. | ||
| I don't think this platform has opened up to having its own video hosting or music being hosted. | ||
| That would be amazing. | ||
| If you could write cool-ass articles and people could pay you based on the article, that might bring articles back, man. | ||
| I mean, not that articles have gone away, but there's a weird thing right now where it's hard for people to get paid doing digital stuff. | ||
| Most people don't want to subscribe. | ||
| I shouldn't say it's hard for people to get paid. | ||
| It's hard to get people to pay for digital stuff. | ||
| To subscribe to an online website or something like that, that's a tough sell. | ||
| Medium.com has sort of filled that hole a little bit, but you don't get directly paid from posting on there, I don't believe. | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| People can make a Medium post that has then gone viral and gotten them paid in other ways, like explaining how they do a particular thing and then that leads to their store, or they can sell some merch that way. | ||
| They might make a video that's in there and then they get YouTube money off of that. | ||
| It's also new, but what you're describing could take off from here. | ||
| Well, it seems like if everybody decides to accept that currency, then it seems like it would take off, right? | ||
| If everybody decided to accept that currency, it just seems to me that there's a few tests, right? | ||
| There's Bitcoin, there's Litecoin, there's, what is that, Dogecoin? | ||
| Dogecoin, Dogecoin. | ||
| There's a few of those that are still, like, volatile and still hanging. | ||
| And I saw some article recently about these young guys that were multi-millionaires from cryptocurrency. | ||
| I'm like, okay. | ||
| Real multi-millionaire or multi-millionaire in cryptocurrency? | ||
| What does it mean? | ||
| Same as a stock person, because they might have a bunch of money, but then some of it's also in stock. | ||
| Right, but how quickly could they liquidate it? | ||
| That depends on exchanges. | ||
| Some of it's 24 hours, some of it's a couple days. | ||
| Depends on the actual coin and the way the blockchain works. | ||
| Crazy! | ||
| Yeah, it's very crazy. | ||
| It's very crazy. | ||
| To me, when I think about it, I always wonder how long it's going to take before we shake ourselves of this system. | ||
| Because this system, as good as it is, and it's definitely good, it's still super complicated and flawed. | ||
| It's very confusing what's legal and what's legal and why you have to pay taxes in one place, but you cross the line and the taxes are way less. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Like over here you don't pay state taxes? | ||
| At all. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| But over there you do. | ||
| What? | ||
| Like a lot of the stuff that we operate, a lot of the system that we have is fucking wonky as shit. | ||
| The tax system is just one of them, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's all messed up. | ||
| And then a lot of people, you know, you can just, whatever, build an account overseas and avoid it that way. | ||
| Well, it seems to me that what I was going to say is that if something like a cryptocurrency can really take off and just get fully accepted use, which is way more accepted now than it was a few years ago when Antonopoulos first started coming on here. | ||
| And I think you could sort of extrapolate that five, maybe even ten years from now, it might be like really commonplace. | ||
| There's a lot of things you could buy with Bitcoin now. | ||
| A lot of things. | ||
| It's really kind of interesting in that way. | ||
| You know, if that works out and crypto coins become a real thing, cryptocurrency becomes a real thing, it's totally possible that can move into politics. | ||
| That kind of thinking of organizing and setting up a party and deciding on important issues, that all could happen the same way. | ||
| That all could happen through some sort of an online app. | ||
| Or people say, fuck all this voting shit. | ||
| You know, we have this new super secure thing that Elon Musk figured out. | ||
| And now everybody, all they have to do is have a cell phone number and they take a photo of themselves as they're doing it. | ||
| So it's biometric, right? | ||
| So you know that someone's not cheating. | ||
| You take a photo of you, you put in your vote, and you... | ||
| You have little videos for each issue. | ||
| You can watch little videos on your phone. | ||
| It tells you exactly what's going on with each issue. | ||
| Here are people who are pro it. | ||
| Here are people who are con it. | ||
| And it's like one of those things where if you ever take a test online, have you ever done one of those? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| And at the end, you press send and you press all the results. | ||
| You got 90% right, and so you move on. | ||
| That could be the same way. | ||
| I mean, it could be something along those lines. | ||
| Those things are so easily beatable. | ||
| I just had to do that for traffic school, get out of a ticket a couple weeks ago. | ||
| It's so ridiculous. | ||
| It tells you which ones are wrong on the yes or no. | ||
| And they're like, uh, you want to try it again? | ||
| And I'm like, uh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't think everyone's smart. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I finished, uh, fun fact, I finished traffic school, what's supposed to be this huge test in like, uh, I don't know, maybe nine minutes. | ||
| Just next, next, next, next, next, take the test, whatever, then fix the answers, done. | ||
| They could do that with voting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They could totally do that with voting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| They don't want it to be that easy. | ||
| And that's when there's going to be real weird shit where, like, Logan Paul manipulates the vote. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, I don't mean illegally. | ||
| I mean like saying, hey, go out and vote for this guy. | ||
| You know, or Kim Kardashian. | ||
| I want you to vote for my friend. | ||
| You know? | ||
| She wants to run this motherfucker. | ||
| That whole Black Mirror episode, yeah. | ||
| About like a cartoon character becoming the fucking leader. | ||
| Black Mirror always has the best ideas. | ||
| I'm always late to the party. | ||
| I think it's coming. | ||
| I think Kanye could do it in 2020 if he runs. | ||
| Eh, he'll fall apart. | ||
| He don't do well under that kind of scrutiny. | ||
| But what have we learned? | ||
| Falling apart could get you the role. | ||
| He's not that guy. | ||
| He's not like that Trump guy. | ||
| Trump lets that shit roll off his back. | ||
| For most people, that stuff's devastating. | ||
| Like, I don't think it's a coincidence that Kanye had that event where he talked about supporting Trump, that he would have voted on Trump, that's what he said, and everybody went crazy. | ||
| And then he went crazy, and he checked himself into a... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Eight days. | ||
| For eight days in the hospital. | ||
| Like, it's not good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| That's not a person who's good. | ||
| I mean, who knows what the fuck was going on outside of that, but the scrutiny compounded it with no question at all. | ||
| When a bunch of people are mad at you and all your fans are mad at you, and then you wind up canceling the whole tour? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That guy shouldn't, you know, obviously shouldn't be president. | ||
| But I don't even think she should try. | ||
| It just seems like a lot of pressure for him. | ||
| And he's a fucking great musician. | ||
| Make your awesome music. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Make your awesome music. | ||
| Don't run for president. | ||
| Do you think we're ever going to get off of this? | ||
| People keep saying, you know, Alec Baldwin can actually run and win for the Democrats. | ||
| Okay, maybe he could. | ||
| You might be right. | ||
| He might be able to. | ||
| But when do we say, hey, we need to rethink this whole fucking system? | ||
| We can't keep letting popular people run the country. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| All you have to do is be popular. | ||
| I like him more. | ||
| That's the whole thing. | ||
| That's been the thing forever. | ||
| It's just stupid. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Shouldn't you have to take a test and we find out who would be best at running the country? | ||
| Like, shouldn't there be a test like there's a test for the driver's license? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a test for traffic school. | ||
| There's a test for traffic school. | ||
| Why isn't there a test for president? | ||
| Shouldn't you be like... | ||
| Shouldn't you have to have some good answers to some questions they pose? | ||
| It's the most ridiculous job ever because it was created so long ago that it has so many holes in the idea behind it. | ||
| You don't have to at least know how to run the country. | ||
| Shouldn't people know the results of your test? | ||
| You should take a test and people say, look, we got good news and we got bad news. | ||
| The good news is he can read. | ||
| The bad news is he got everything wrong. | ||
| He got everything wrong. | ||
| He can't be president. | ||
| Like, oh, all right. | ||
| Well, we got to find a guy who could pass the test. | ||
| He's also popular. | ||
| Then people would try to cheat for him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who can keep a budget, who can speak, who can... | ||
| Obama at least taught constitutional law. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So you could at least think he would know what's in the Constitution. | ||
| He probably knows a lot. | ||
| I would imagine he knows quite a bit. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Have you ever heard of Trump University, my friend? | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| He had a whole university. | ||
| He had his own university. | ||
| How many lawsuits are involved in that? | ||
| I don't know how many. | ||
| I think it became a class action. | ||
| He had to pick 25 million dollars or something to that class. | ||
| What was Trump University? | ||
| It was one of those... | ||
| Why are you laughing, Jamie? | ||
| Yeah, because it was like a real estate. | ||
| They show you how to like turn and burn and flip houses and businesses and they show you how to become a real estate mogul. | ||
| For-profit education company that ran a real estate training program for five years. | ||
| Was it any good? | ||
| Like, were there success stories out of it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It was licensed by Trump University, owned by Trump Organization, but not owned by the Trump Organization? | ||
| Huh? | ||
| Probably a different LLC or something. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Multiple lawsuits. | ||
| What an interesting idea. | ||
| Who's just gonna teach people how to make money? | ||
| Is that the idea? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It seems like, you know, one of those, like, infomercials or something like that. | ||
| He's a fucking character, I'll tell you that. | ||
| When all is said and done, that will be a guy that stands out in human history. | ||
| We're gonna look at that guy and go, wow. | ||
| I think that's what he wanted. | ||
| He definitely got that. | ||
| Do you think he's going to want to run again? | ||
| Oh my god, yes. | ||
| Are you kidding me? | ||
| Are you kidding me? | ||
| This is what this guy lives for. | ||
| He lives for watching the news and seeing him on it every day. | ||
| Is that what they think? | ||
| I'll show them. | ||
| That's his whole thing. | ||
| It's so real. | ||
| Everything from the inside and everything I've ever heard about the guy says that. | ||
| That he's just... | ||
| I mean... | ||
| How much longer do you think you can do it? | ||
| At what age do you start to get worn out by all this shit? | ||
| Right? | ||
| I mean, think of the kind of hate Kanye got for supporting Trump. | ||
| No, think of the kind of hate Trump gets. | ||
| It is some next level stuff. | ||
| I mean, you have to have some crazy resolve to be able to absorb that kind of hate. | ||
| He's got to be a little insulated from some of it, though. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| They might hide him from some of it, but some of it they actually project on his building. | ||
| You know? | ||
| They project shit on his building. | ||
| They stand across the street with a projector. | ||
| He hasn't even been dealing with that forever, though. | ||
| Not like that. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| WWE Hall of Famer, by the way. | ||
| Is he? | ||
| Yeah, he's been stone-cold stunned. | ||
| He's been stone-cold stunned. | ||
| Yeah, he was in a... | ||
| What is a stone-cold stunner? | ||
| How does that go down? | ||
| Oh, you don't want to know this one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't? | |
| I'm going to be honest with you, Joe. | ||
| Out of the many pro wrestling moves that don't seem to be effective, this is way up there. | ||
| And the devastation that it leaves. | ||
| Guys are out for a minute after a Stone Cold stunner, and it's pretty bad. | ||
| I'm going to be honest. | ||
| I love Stone Cold. | ||
| One of the greats ever. | ||
| Probably the reason why we have The Rock is because Stone Cold was so raw and dirty on the mic. | ||
| Let me ask you this, and I want you to be real. | ||
| Do you think that this Stone Cold Stunner exists? | ||
| Why'd they shave his head? | ||
| Because he lost a haircut match between Vince and Trump. | ||
| Is that Bobby Lashley? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See, I know my shit, dude. | ||
| Hell yeah, you do. | ||
| So, the Stone Cold Stunner, Steve Austin, has his arm up in the air. | ||
| Oh, he's calling for cans of beers. | ||
| That's another thing. | ||
| They hit each other with cans of beers? | ||
| No, they drink it. | ||
| Oh, he drinks one. | ||
| And they let him drink one in the middle of the fight? | ||
| He doesn't really... | ||
| No, the fight's over. | ||
| Fight's over? | ||
| Look, he's about to cheers Donald Trump. | ||
| Steve Weiser. | ||
| Okay, why is he wearing a shirt? | ||
| Is he wrestling or is he a referee? | ||
| He was a ref in this. | ||
| He was a ref. | ||
| But he's still about to stun. | ||
| Here you go. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| He hits him. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| So it's like he lands on his butt, but your head is on his shoulder and it's supposed to just put you out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait a minute. | |
| One more time, please. | ||
| This is so odd. | ||
| So he steps forward. | ||
| Let's get a good angle on this. | ||
| You can find the one. | ||
| Hold on, this is good. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Bam. | ||
| I didn't even jump. | ||
| Jamie, there's one where Stone Cold like stuns every McMahon and everybody in a ring. | ||
| Like there was one epic one where he stunned like 30 guys in a row. | ||
| It might be one of the faker things ever. | ||
| I've seen you repost some bad things that have been happening lately. | ||
| Does it hurt your feeling? | ||
| It hurts every time. | ||
| Well, you know, you need higher quality stuff out there. | ||
| See, that's a stunner. | ||
| That's a stunner right there? | ||
| Technically, yes. | ||
| There's the rock. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| See, The Rock knew how to sell that. | ||
| That's Kane. | ||
| That's The Undertaker's brother. | ||
| Goodbye. | ||
| Yeah, The Rock made it fun, right? | ||
| Like, it didn't seem realistic. | ||
| Yeah, I read a thing recently about the People's Elbow, which became his big finishing move, and it was sort of a joke that worked so well with the crowd that they all just laughed about it backstage, and it just became this fucking... | ||
| Okay, let me tell you something. | ||
| If this guy did this to you, actually did this to you, it would not feel good. | ||
| This is not a real finishing move, per se, but that could fuck you up. | ||
| Especially a big, strong guy like you. | ||
| Not that one. | ||
| Not that one. | ||
| But some of them. | ||
| Because what he's doing is he's grabbing the back of your head and slamming his shoulder into your chin. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, that's semi-legit. | ||
| Like, I would not recommend doing it that way. | ||
| Ooh, look at the rock. | ||
| Why are you laughing? | ||
| Because he stood up after he got knocked down. | ||
| Some of the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, look at this. | ||
| That's Shane McMahon, Vince's son. | ||
| That guy fell through the air. | ||
| Wait a minute, play that one again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| That's a classic McMahon thing to oversell a stunner like that. | ||
| Vince does it the best. | ||
| He convulses and shakes afterwards. | ||
| You gotta definitely have that, though, because you're giving the guy your back. | ||
| I don't recommend that at all, that move. | ||
| But he could probably do it to me. | ||
| But that would hurt. | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| It's not the best move in the world. | ||
| But it's not 100% illegitimate. | ||
| There's Brock. | ||
| No, this is Shane McMahon. | ||
| This is actually a really insane thing that this guy did. | ||
| How old is he, Tony? | ||
| Do you know? | ||
| Shane right now is probably, if I had to guess, I'd say 47. No, he's not jumping off that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, he's jumping. | |
| He's about 30 feet, 35 feet up at least, probably. | ||
| I don't know if they actually say, but... | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Shane McMahon always does this. | ||
| He has like real... | ||
| Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. | ||
| Onto a table. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| A real table? | ||
| The Undertaker's about to move. | ||
| Either way, it's not a pad. | ||
| The Undertaker's like, don't do it, dude. | ||
| I'm not going to show it on YouTube. | ||
| Oh, I see. | ||
| Yeah, don't show it on YouTube. | ||
| So he lands on that thing. | ||
| So it's a giant spring underneath him. | ||
| No. | ||
| What is that thing? | ||
| It's just a breakaway table. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god, that's insane that he did that. | |
| We all thought he was pretty messed up here. | ||
| Oh my god, that's insane. | ||
| Why did he do that? | ||
| It's all for the show. | ||
| Oh my god, that guy had to get really hurt. | ||
| Did he get knocked out? | ||
| He might be. | ||
| He might be coming out of it. | ||
| That's one of the crazy things. | ||
| You never know what's real and what's not. | ||
| Mankind did that. | ||
| Mick Foley, the guy that does the mandible claw, he did that to The Undertaker once. | ||
| He had a tooth go through his lip. | ||
| Let me ask you this. | ||
| When someone does something like that, do they plan that out to the point where they practice it or do they just wait to the moment and then do it? | ||
| Because that seems like... | ||
| If you practice it and it hurt that bad. | ||
| I think they might practice it maybe with some type of something, but I don't think they practice it with a breakaway table. | ||
| Oh my god, these guys are fighting on top of the roof. | ||
| Yeah, this is like the craziest one ever. | ||
| This is Hell in a Cell, 1998, Mankind vs. | ||
| The Undertaker. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| Undertaker ends up chokeslamming him through the whole thing into the ring from the top of there. | ||
| Do you think you know more about pro wrestling than I know about boxing? | ||
| Well, it's a wide field. | ||
| I think there's more in wrestling history. | ||
| You've got to realize wrestling's been a weekly sport, the most watched program on cable every Monday since I was a little kid. | ||
| So there's a lot more stuff that's happened in pro wrestling. | ||
| Right, but you know results, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like if I told you, I mean, do you know any results from boxing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| You know way more about this than you know about boxing, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you find that weird? | ||
| No, I'm a pretty big boxing fan. | ||
| I probably have more enough. | ||
| Oh, he threw him off the top? | ||
| Yeah, there you go. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What does he throw him onto? | ||
| And by the way, that's the first time anything like this ever happens. | ||
| So that crowd is literally like, what? | ||
| Oh, that guy got fucked up, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, he got fucked up for real. | ||
| I don't think you can fall that far and not get fucked up unless you're falling into a giant pillow. | ||
| These guys aren't falling. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| No, Mick Foley has, like, broken every bone and, like, every injury you can imagine. | ||
| Dude, oh my god, you see that? | ||
| See him just do a backflip and land right there? | ||
| Fuck that, dude. | ||
| Oh, water's good. | ||
| See, that's a good move. | ||
| So they're doing it like, uh, that ninja show. | ||
| That's on boxes. | ||
| That's obviously on boxes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Obviously that's protected. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| The whole dramatic thing. | ||
| The girls are going, oh my god, oh my god. | ||
| And the guy's there, uh, macho. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, he just fell through the fucking cage. | |
| Oh, he fell through this cage? | ||
| Oh my god, is that supposed to happen? | ||
| Or was that an accident? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That maybe was supposed to happen. | ||
| Look, the way he fell into the center, I bet it was supposed to happen. | ||
| You can see how the center sort of gave in. | ||
| Now, how would they engineer something like that? | ||
| How would they make sure that... | ||
| They're okay. | ||
| This is like a combination. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That guy just broke his leg. | ||
| Did he? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Oh, don't show me this. | ||
| Don't show me this. | ||
| I can't watch somebody breaking their leg for a play. | ||
| It's essentially a play. | ||
| Oh shit. | ||
| Imagine if there was a play where you break your leg. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Remember when people were criticizing Spider-Man? | ||
| They had a Spider-Man musical, and people kept flying off the harnesses and slamming into the crowd or something. | ||
| I think somebody might have died. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Severe injury, at the very least. | ||
| What happened during the Spider-Man musical? | ||
| I think they got it wired, though. | ||
| I think they figured it out. | ||
| Oh, don't show it to me, bro. | ||
| Yes, please show it. | ||
| I don't want to see the guy. | ||
| Oh, fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, fuck. | |
| The thing snapped. | ||
| I think his rope didn't work. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| He's gonna have to appear. | ||
| Did he die? | ||
| No. | ||
| Just this accident. | ||
| Spider-Man doesn't die. | ||
| I want to say that there's more than one accident. | ||
| Yeah, I thought it kept happening. | ||
| That's why they had to stop. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I want to say there was a second accident, but I might have been making this up. | ||
| This video I just pulled up here is the fourth accident on that show. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ! | ||
| Good Lord. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Now, stop and think about how many accidents they have in the pro wrestling world. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| Yeah, arenas every week. | ||
| Multiple arenas per week sold out. | ||
| Yeah, and how many of those things must go wrong in those arenas? | ||
| People have died. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Owen Hart. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| You know about Owen Hart, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| On the entrance. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A character he didn't even want to play. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Hard way to make a living. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Alright, Tony. | ||
| Let's wrap this bitch up and head down to Bakersfield. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hollow. | |
| Bakersfield tonight. | ||
| Where are we? | ||
| Fox Theater? | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| Two shows tonight in Bakersfield. | ||
| Two shows tomorrow in Fresno. | ||
| And then Santa Barbara on Saturday night. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| I was hoping you were going to join in on Ric Flair. | ||
| Oh, I didn't realize that's what we were doing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! |
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