Feb. 19, 2018 - The Joe Rogan Experience
01:54:08
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
Five, four, three, two, one. | |
| Boom, and we're live. | ||
| Thanks for doing this, man. | ||
| I appreciate it. | ||
| Hey, thank you for having me. | ||
| I appreciate that. | ||
| You're the only guy I've ever had in the studio where when I showed up, you were working out. | ||
| That's what I do, man. | ||
| That's my life. | ||
| That's my life. | ||
| That's pretty crazy, though. | ||
| I mean, how much time did you have when you got here? | ||
| I got here about an hour early. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We got a little early. | ||
| So I got here shirt off, doing chin-ups. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was hilarious. | |
| I didn't get my camera out in time before you saw me. | ||
| I wanted to take some pictures. | ||
| Well, maybe next time. | ||
| Next time. | ||
| Well, I'll catch you after the show. | ||
| You are a guy that... | ||
| For a lot of people, you sort of embody the idea of hardening your mind and figuring out a way to do things that most people think are impossible. | ||
| You've sort of become that guy over your life, and you've become that guy for a lot of people, including me, online. | ||
| We've talked about you on the podcast a ton of times, so having you in here has been very exciting to me. | ||
| I appreciate that. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| How'd you become that guy? | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I grew up not that guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So a lot of people put a title on me. | ||
| They want to, they see me now. | ||
| They see me now as the guy that with his shirt off who can do 4,030 pull-ups in 17 hours, who can run 205 miles in 39 hours, who can do all this crazy shit. | ||
| But what they don't understand is they don't understand the journey that it took me to get to this point. | ||
| And what got me to this point was I was just the opposite of what I am today. | ||
| I was that guy who ran away from absolutely everything that got in front of me. | ||
| But not many people knew that. | ||
| I had two people. | ||
| Like the real me was like this very scared, insecure, stuttering, got beat up by his dad, all this kind of stuff. | ||
| And I built this fake person that walked around like my shit didn't stink, you know? | ||
| So that's kind of how I did it. | ||
| And through the process of time, I realized that I was lying to myself and lying to people. | ||
| But it's a fascinating journey, though, because you are that guy now. | ||
| I mean, you genuinely are a legit badass. | ||
| And at one point in time, you were a legit, terrified person. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So what was the process? | ||
| How did you step forth? | ||
| Well, it's a long process. | ||
| My dad beat the shit out of me when I was growing up. | ||
| I was the first black baby born in this hospital called Miller Fillmore in Buffalo, New York. | ||
| My dad owned skating rinks, he owned bars, he ran prostitutes from Canada to Buffalo, New York. | ||
| My dad was a big-time pimp, big-time anything bad about a person, big-time hustler. | ||
| He was American. | ||
| You know that movie with them, D'Angelo Washington? | ||
| He was that, but not that bad. | ||
| You know, he wasn't that big, but that's what it reminds me of. | ||
| He was that kind of guy. | ||
| And beat the shit out of me, beat the shit out of my mom. | ||
| There was an incident one time when my mom got knocked out on top of the stairs, and he drug her down the stairs by her hair. | ||
| And at six years old, I'll never forget this. | ||
| In my mind, I was always afraid. | ||
| My whole life I was afraid, but I had this fucking voice, this conscience, that would always be battling me, saying, hey, you gotta get up and do something. | ||
| I didn't want to do shit. | ||
| You know, I was just afraid, but that voice would force me to get up, and my dad, you know, I'd try to beat him up, whatever, at 6, and I'd get my ass kicked. | ||
| So this went on for several years, and I have a big-time learning disability. | ||
| My dad didn't believe in us going to school. | ||
| So my dad, it was about the business, the skating rink and the bar. | ||
| So the skating rink opened about 7 o'clock at night, and this is the time I was able to walk. | ||
| So about, you know, 4, 5, 6 years old, 8, 9. And I'd go to the skating rink at 7 o'clock at night, and I'd work the skating rink until 10 at night. | ||
| And then we would scrape the gum off the floors, and we'd clean the whole skating rink up. | ||
| And then my dad had an office. | ||
| And my brother and myself would sleep in the office, and my mom would go upstairs and work the bar until 3 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| And then they'd clean the bar up. | ||
| So, after all that shit was done with, going to school rarely happened. | ||
| So when I went to school, I was all kind of, you know, my learning disability. | ||
| I had social anxiety. | ||
| I was just a jacked-up kid from living in this tortured home. | ||
| From the outside looking in, we lived in an all-white neighborhood, and then we would travel to the ghetto of Buffalo, New York, where the skating rink was at. | ||
| So, you know, we worked around mostly blacks, and I lived around mostly whites. | ||
| But no one knew what was going on in that house on 201 Paradise Road. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| But my mom got courage to finally leave him when I was about 8 years old. | ||
| We moved to a small town in Brazil, Indiana. | ||
| And that's when the real war started for me. | ||
| And Brazil, Indiana is a small town. | ||
| Great people. | ||
| A lot of great people. | ||
| And I say that because a lot of people get offended. | ||
| And I'm going to get to the point where they get offended. | ||
| There was about maybe 10 black families at about 10,000 people in the town. | ||
| And in 1995, the KKK marched in the 4th of July parade. | ||
| So this was a, not everybody was racist. | ||
| There was a lot of good people, some of the best people I knew was there, but there was also a lot of racism there. | ||
| So me being one of the few black kids in that, you know, in that area, you know, it kind of haunts you. | ||
| I had stuff on my notebook, you know, nigga, we're going to kill you on my Spanish notebook. | ||
| They had that on my car, nigga, we're going to kill you. | ||
| This is early 90s. | ||
| And so, even though I showed it didn't hurt me, it was jacking me up. | ||
| So all the insecurities I had when I was a kid with my father, I moved into this area here, and it just got worse and worse and worse. | ||
| And shit haunted me. | ||
| And that voice that I talked about, it kept talking louder and louder and louder, but I was doing nothing about it. | ||
| And I decided to make moves. | ||
| And I cheated all through school, and it's kind of humbling to talk about my story sometimes, and it's also embarrassing, but it's real. | ||
| It's who the fuck I am. | ||
| It's what I am. | ||
| It's what created me. | ||
| And copy from the fourth grade to my junior year in high school on every assignment. | ||
| And I want to get in the military. | ||
| I want to join the Air Force, and the guy gave me an ASVAB test. | ||
| It's like a watered-down SAT. And I couldn't copy on it because the guy beside me had a test A, I had test B, the guy on my right had test C. So I looked to copy on this test and I couldn't copy on it so I got like a 20. And I wanted to be an Air Force pararescueman. | ||
| It's guys that jump out of airplanes and save down pilots. | ||
| It's a special operator in the Air Force. | ||
| And my score was so horribly low that we'd take it again. | ||
| And he said, hey, I got like an 18 the second time, even worse. | ||
| I need to get a 50 out of a 99. And so my mom and I, for a while, we lived in the government-subsidized apartments, $7 a month, and also food stamps. | ||
| And we slowly moved up to a $230 a month place. | ||
| But at the time, you know, we were pretty poor. | ||
| But my mom afforded enough money for me to go to see a tutor one hour a week, so for four hours a month. | ||
| I had six months to study for my last test. | ||
| I was going to take the asthma test three times. | ||
| And I studied my ass off and passed it. | ||
| And I got in the Air Force and realized there was more things in front of me. | ||
| I was afraid of the water. | ||
| Terrify the water. | ||
| And I learned how to swim, but what gets everybody in this training, in all special ops training, is the water confidence, where they try to pretty much drown your ass. | ||
| You know, all of our lives we've been breathing. | ||
| And they take that from you, and they want to see how comfortable you are in the water. | ||
| And there's only 1% African Americans in special operations. | ||
| And I didn't know anything about African, like a lot of them are negative buoyant, which I am, because of the bone density. | ||
| I struggled. | ||
| But six weeks into the program, there was about 25 guys left out of about 150. I was there, and I didn't go to sleep for six weeks of the program. | ||
| And I wanted to quit so badly, but I quit everything in my life. | ||
| I copied through school. | ||
| I wanted to prove people wrong. | ||
| And so here I am, in this Air Force program, starting to get a little more confidence, but this water was kicking my ass, and six weeks into the program, the doctor gave me a blood test. | ||
| It was, I have sickle cell. | ||
| Sickle cell trait, not the anemia, but it still killed people. | ||
| But, so they pulled me out of training for a week, and when you go from being very uncomfortable in that water situation, and then now you're comfortable, and I'm sitting back watching the guys drown, you know, I'm not part of the activities anymore for this week, I didn't want to get back in that damn water again. | ||
| So the fear overcame me and all my insecurities from my dad, from this small town, from everything started coming back. | ||
| And even though no one knew how fucked up I was, kind of create this other person who was tough, I live with this shit all the time. | ||
| So, me not wanting to go back in that water, the doctor called me back up. | ||
| I thought I was going to get like a medical kick out of the military. | ||
| So, no quitting for me. | ||
| They'll kick me out so I can have some pride. | ||
| The doctor said, no, man, we could put you back in the training. | ||
| And I was like, fuck. | ||
| But after a week, I'm like, you know what? | ||
| I missed one week. | ||
| There's only three weeks left. | ||
| There's a good chance, you know, I could tough this shit out and go on. | ||
| But I went back to the CO and the command officer of the program and the sergeant said, hey, you got to start from day one because you missed, you know, that week of training. | ||
| And I broke. | ||
| I broke. | ||
| I couldn't imagine going back through that again. | ||
| So I made up a lie. | ||
| And I said, man, the sickle cell thing is really scaring me. | ||
| It was the fucking water. | ||
| It wasn't sickle cell. | ||
| And I pretty much quit. | ||
| Even though they gave me a medical, I quit. | ||
| So from the age of 19 to the age of 22, I went and did a job called Tag P, where you control fast movers behind enemy lines. | ||
| Cool job, but there's no water. | ||
| I was afraid of the water, so I avoided it. | ||
| And I gained 125 pounds in that time frame. | ||
| I went from 175 to almost 300, to 297 was my heaviest. | ||
| And I started finding things that was comfortable. | ||
| And the more things I found comfortable, the more uncomfortable my mind was. | ||
| Because that voice I was telling you about, it always was there. | ||
| I was just trying to avoid that conscience. | ||
| I wanted to be left alone from that conscience, and it wouldn't leave me alone. | ||
| So I got out of the Air Force, and I started working for a job called Ecolab, where you spray for cockroaches at 24, and spraying at different Steak and Shakes, Red Lobster, whatever, from 11 o'clock at night to 7 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| And what changed, I came home and watched this Discovery Channel show, Class 224. I came home from Steak and Shake, I sprayed it down last, get a big ol' large 42-ounce shake, walk across the street and get a box of mini donuts from 7-Eleven, and I would drive home for 45 minutes, this big ol' fat guy who, yeah, I worked out, but I was fat. | ||
| I didn't run, didn't PT, I just hit the gym. | ||
| So I'm driving home, turn the TV on, and what comes on is Discovery Channel Show, and that's where everything changed for me. | ||
| I was taking a shower, I walked out, heard these guys, and I watched the show, and it made me reflect big time on the piece of shit that I am, and I'm exactly what people said I was going to be. | ||
| So what was on this show that really struck home? | ||
| I saw these guys going in the water, so I was terrified of it. | ||
| I mean, I can't even express... | ||
| Have you ever had a big fear? | ||
| And I know a lot of fighters have fears and stuff like that, but they get over them. | ||
| But a lot of us have these fears that you just don't want to fucking face. | ||
| And I have a lot of them. | ||
| I had a lot of them. | ||
| And that's what created the person who's in front of you today. | ||
| And we'll get into that. | ||
| But just a scared bitch is what I was. | ||
| But I was watching these guys going through Hell Week, Class 224. And these guys ringing the bell, quitting, dropping their helmet down, rolling out. | ||
| A lot of guys just leaving. | ||
| And it made me reflect on my fears, my insecurities. | ||
| And I saw real men, what I thought were real men who were staying, who were overcoming adversity, who were overcoming all these different things that I had blamed so many fucking people in my life, my dad, my mom for not being there. | ||
| When I was 14 years old, my mom was going to get remarried to this great guy. | ||
| He got murdered. | ||
| And then I moved back to a small town in Brazil and everybody was to blame. | ||
| My learning disability, my skin color, you know, me being, everything. | ||
| And so I sat there for a while and I was like, man, I gotta fucking, I gotta, no one's gonna fucking come to help me. | ||
| No one's gonna fucking come to help me. | ||
| It's fucking me against me, period. | ||
| And so I had the man up, and I said, the first thing I started doing is facing every fucking fear I have. | ||
| No matter what the fuck it is, man. | ||
| And these things would keep me up. | ||
| And no one, people who are hearing this shit, they will never really understand and grasp when you face these things and so many things, how they keep you up and haunt you at night. | ||
| I think there's a lot of people out there that know what you're talking about. | ||
| I mean, and so that's what it did. | ||
| I had two options. | ||
| To either be that 300 pound guy who sprayed for cockroaches and made a thousand dollars a month, And at 24 years old knowing when I'm 50 fucking years old I can reflect on this and think about what guy I never became or I can totally just sack it up and fail and fail and fail until I succeed. | ||
| So I started calling recruiters up. | ||
| I said I'm gonna go be a fucking Navy SEAL. And every recruiter, so there's a weight and height limit to get in the military. | ||
| And I was six foot one and 297. And I had prior service, which was a big deal. | ||
| So I called all these recruiters up and all of them said, hey, how tall are you? | ||
| Blah, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| They got into conversation to see if I was even qualified. | ||
| And by the time I got to my weight, phone would hang up pretty much like, hey, you know what? | ||
| Call somebody else, you know, try to get in the reserves. | ||
| So I tried to get in the reserves. | ||
| And I called this guy named Steven Salgio, a recruiter up. | ||
| And he said, hey, come on in. | ||
| He saw me, put me through the weight standard, all this other stuff, and to get into the class I had to get into, I had to lose 106 pounds in less than three months. | ||
| So, I was like, fuck that, I can't do that. | ||
| I grabbed my chocolate milkshake and went back to Ecolab. | ||
| I'm going back to work, man. | ||
| This is my life. | ||
| So, in this job, you're looking for cockroaches, looking for rodents and stuff like that, and this next morning, or this next night, I went to work, and I don't like cockroaches too much. | ||
| I hit the mother load of cockroaches, and this restaurant got full of cockroaches and rodents and everything else, and I sat there and said, this is my life. | ||
| I said, this is my life. | ||
| You are exactly who the fuck, this is it. | ||
| And I said, this ain't gonna be it for me. | ||
| So, in that restaurant, I quit my job, left my canister in that restaurant, my spray canister, got back in my Ecolab truck, and I went home. | ||
| And I started working out like somebody, I became the most obsessed person on the planet Earth. | ||
| And I was basically I had to invent a guy that didn't exist. | ||
| I had to invent a guy that can take any pain, any suffering, any kind of judgment, be called nigger, be called whatever the fuck in the world and be able to stand in the fucking room and say, go fuck yourself. | ||
| I had to build this callous mind and I built it through suffering. | ||
| I built it through downright fucking just crushing myself. | ||
| If it was raining outside at 3 o'clock in the fucking morning, if it was snowing, The first instinct is don't go out there and do shit. | ||
| My instinct was, we gotta fucking go out there. | ||
| Anything that was fucking horrible in my life that I would normally say no, that was inhumane to most people, I had to go do it. | ||
| And I started callusing my mind at this point in my life. | ||
| And I lost the weight. | ||
| I lost the weight and I went back to recruiter. | ||
| I got into that class. | ||
| And I went through three Navy SEAL Hell Weeks in one year. | ||
| Only got to ever be in three Hell Weeks in one year, to my knowledge. | ||
| The first one I didn't make it through. | ||
| The next two I did. | ||
| And I didn't stop anymore from there. | ||
| And I started realizing through this process, That the fucking mind is what you created. | ||
| And I started opening different doors that I didn't think were even there, that I didn't think even existed. | ||
| And the more doors opened up, the more I started realizing that my potential is damn near endless. | ||
| And it changed my whole mindset. | ||
| So I went from David Goggins and I created Goggins. | ||
| And that journey is a priceless journey that is hard for me to even explain to people because it sounds so quick and easy. | ||
| Like, I lost this weight and I went through three hell weeks, I went to Ranger School, went to Delta Force, Lexington, whatever it is. | ||
| It was brutal. | ||
| It's a brutal journey every fucking day and everybody goes, well, are you happy? | ||
| If anybody knows my life story, and I'll try to give you just a snippet of it, where I'm at today is in front of Joe Rogan telling you my life. | ||
| To get through where I became, to get through where I'm at now, there's nothing but pride I have for myself that I can't really show people. | ||
| Because I have this face. | ||
| I have this face that they see like, are you happy? | ||
| What's wrong with you? | ||
| I'm driven. | ||
| I'm obsessed and that's what you see. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| People need to hear this story. | ||
| This is an exciting story for people because there's a lot of people out there that feel trapped and they feel stuck and they feel like they can't do anything and this is who they are. | ||
| You're a guy who felt that exact same way but figured out how to not be that person and be a person that you would admire. | ||
| How did you, what were the first steps? | ||
| Like, you had some slips before, right? | ||
| Because you quit because of the water thing, but then when you went back the second time and you decided you're going to lose all that weight and you quit that job, Was it just straight forward from there or were there some days where you just failed and then you picked it back up again? | ||
| So my first run when I decided to lose the weight I was like I said 297 I was about 32 percent body fat and I went my idea was to run four miles for my first run I didn't know how bad it's gonna fucking hurt me I used to run before I was fat and I was like fuck it I can do this I ran a quarter mile and walked home I walked home and sat on my couch and cried. | ||
| I went to my mom's house who was about maybe 20 minutes down the road and cried and get in her couch and said, man, I can't fucking do this shit. | ||
| I don't know what I'm going to do. | ||
| I just got somebody pregnant. | ||
| My life was just fucked. | ||
| I was making $1,000 a month. | ||
| My rent was $8,000 a month. | ||
| And my mom just kept fucking with me. | ||
| And kept fucking, you're not good enough, man. | ||
| This isn't for you, man. | ||
| These guys are the best motherfuckers on the planet Earth. | ||
| You're not that. | ||
| And, um... | ||
| What it was, and it's kind of funny, I was obsessed with Rocky. | ||
| Rocky 1, in particular. | ||
| And when I was a kid, I'd come home every day and I'd watch this fucking show Rocky. | ||
| And I would fast forward with the little VHS tapes to round 14. Round 14 fucked me up like nobody's business. | ||
| Why? | ||
| The song came on. | ||
| When I bought the pull-up record, I listened to the song for 17 hours. | ||
| It's 2 minutes and 13 seconds. | ||
| And I'm able to visualize and dream like nobody's business. | ||
| And I know that I can create a vision that many people can't. | ||
| And I work for it. | ||
| So the vision I had was when Apollo Creed beat the fucking shit out of Rocky. | ||
| Beat the shit out of him. | ||
| He kept fighting. | ||
| He was a dumb fighter. | ||
| Couldn't read. | ||
| Couldn't fuck. | ||
| That was me. | ||
| Couldn't read. | ||
| Couldn't write. | ||
| Just punchy. | ||
| Everything about him. | ||
| And Apollo beat the shit out of him. | ||
| He was in that corner, and everybody was saying, stay the fuck down. | ||
| And him getting up, him getting up, Apollo Creed raises his arms up in the fucking air, turned around, thought he won the fight. | ||
| He turns around and sees this guy getting up, and it was the face of Apollo Creed that changed my life. | ||
| The face of Apollo Creed. | ||
| It was like, just by that motherfucker getting up, not winning, just by him getting the fuck up, Apollo Creed was his champ, he was the best. | ||
| Rocky had taken his soul. | ||
| Had literally taken his soul. | ||
| His head goes down, he looks at him like, what the fuck are you? | ||
| I wanted to be that. | ||
| Not Rocky. | ||
| I wanted to be the guy that people looked at. | ||
| I don't care if you liked me or didn't like, I don't care. | ||
| But I said, this motherfucker is going to keep coming after whatever the fuck is in front of him. | ||
| I wanted that. | ||
| Worse than anything in the world. | ||
| So, that is, I kept picturing me falling down and getting up and every motherfucker that called me nigger, I was dumped, even myself. | ||
| Even myself, I wanted to feel something besides defeat. | ||
| I wanted to just go to distance. | ||
| And that going to distance pushed me to a point of where now I go way past the distance. | ||
| So you go the first day, you run a quarter mile, and then you walk back home, and you're upset. | ||
| How do you move forward? | ||
| So basically what I did was I came home, and I had a talking milkshake. | ||
| I sat down, and I gave up. | ||
| I said this ain't gonna fucking happen. | ||
| I could lose 106 pounds and I can't even go a quarter of a fucking mile. | ||
| I started being able to take negative shit and be happy. | ||
| And this whole, I say what if a lot, it sounds corny and it sounds weak, but it's true. | ||
| One of the recruiters said, there's not many black Navy SEALs. | ||
| As a matter of fact, I was the 36th African American SEAL in history. | ||
| Over seven years. | ||
| Because of the fucking water, you know? | ||
| I mean, people get mad at me. | ||
| It's fucking true. | ||
| Just get over it. | ||
| And so, I was like, man, what story would it be if my fucking fat, dumb, lying to be friends with people, insecure ass, can overcome this shit? | ||
| And that what-if mentality, that dreamer mentality just would always fuel me. | ||
| It would just fuel me. | ||
| Man, what if I can be a SEAL, man? | ||
| What if I can go from running a quarter of a fucking mile? | ||
| Now I run 205 miles. | ||
| What if I can go? | ||
| Just what if I can go? | ||
| And how would that feel if I'm graduating? | ||
| Because I don't forget at the graduation thing I was talking about, 224, like the video I sat down and watched. | ||
| This command officer stood up and he said to the graduation guys who are graduating buds, like 18 of them, he said, we live in a society where mediocrity is often rewarded. | ||
| And he went on to say something about these men detest mediocrity. | ||
| And I wanted to be a man that detests mediocrity. | ||
| It got me in a lot of trouble in the SEAL teams and going forward in my life because I just, I started looking down on people for not going hard as fucking shit. | ||
| And I started to create different things but that's for a different day. | ||
| But I just believe that, you know, my whole mind changed. | ||
| That is a problem that a lot of people who work hard do have. | ||
| You get angry at people who don't work hard to the point where you, you know, you want to insult them. | ||
| You want to smack them. | ||
| And it's really because you're scared of seeing that in yourself. | ||
| Yeah, that's probably the truth. | ||
| That's probably the truth. | ||
| So, I guess a lot of times in my life I would see people and it probably was a direct reflection of who I was. | ||
| And I would get mad at them, but in reflection it's probably just getting mad at myself. | ||
| Yeah, that's for me, 100%. | ||
| When I see people that are half-assed and things, I get terrified of seeing that in myself and I get mad at them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it's not a good way to handle it. | ||
| No. | ||
| You know, but it's natural because you're just terrified of seeing that trait. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it cost me. | ||
| So you come back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| You do the quarter mile, you walk back home, how do you regroup? | ||
| So what I did, I sat down there and I put Rocky in. | ||
| I got my milkshake put Rocky. | ||
| I said, you know what? | ||
| I was big time in Rocky and Platoon. | ||
| Why Platoon? | ||
| I love to see people who were getting beat down. | ||
| And there's scenes. | ||
| There's scenes that just drove me. | ||
| And people in my Hell Weeks, you know, I was in three of them, they'd always hear me singing these songs. | ||
| These songs, humming these songs in torturous situations. | ||
| When everybody's quitting this fucking code, I would be somewhere gone. | ||
| Somewhere fucking gone, somewhere fucking dark as shit. | ||
| There's a scene in the platoon where Elias, when Barnes shoots Elias, and you know, they think Elias is dead, and the choppers are taking off, and Charlie Sheen's asking, you know, Tom Berenger, where's Elias? | ||
| Where's Elias, William Dafoe? | ||
| Oh, I found him back there dead somewhere. | ||
| And through the woods, the Viet Cong is chasing Elias through the woods and they're shooting him in his fucking back. | ||
| And all he wants to do is get to the fucking chopper. | ||
| He's getting shot in his back. | ||
| He's getting up. | ||
| He's getting shot in his back. | ||
| He's getting up. | ||
| And you see this guy just fighting. | ||
| I love the fucking guy who just fucking fights. | ||
| And so I put these things in as reminders that you're going to have to fucking suffer, man. | ||
| This fucking.25, man, this is... | ||
| Man, you're going to have to fucking suffer to go from this fat... | ||
| Insecure motherfucker to one of the best guys on the planet Earth. | ||
| This journey is going to take something that is going to be incomprehensible to most people. | ||
| And these different visualizations, how I visualize them in my self-talk, it became so nasty and dirty that I almost liked the fact that I went.25. | ||
| So it became from being defeated to like, man, all right, motherfucker, maybe, you know, maybe tomorrow we can go 0.75. | ||
| You know, it just became this different mindset. | ||
| I turned negatives into positives. | ||
| So I would take it like, who would even think about doing this? | ||
| So I would sit on my couch saying, who at 297 who can't fucking swim that great, who's scared of the fucking water, would have the fucking balls? | ||
| Who had the balls to fucking man up, quit a job, and go and just put everything on himself? | ||
| So it's how I start talking to myself and put myself in a whole different category and that would fuel me the next day and I just kept using that as fuel and fuel. | ||
| No one would do this shit. | ||
| No one would do this shit. | ||
| You're the baddest motherfucker around. | ||
| You're the baddest motherfucker I ever lived. | ||
| And I just kept fueling me with the right kind of message that I needed to hear that I was never telling myself. | ||
| And through time, it became reality to myself. | ||
| So, you start out on the first day, and then do you start running again the second day? | ||
| Yeah, the second day, I went right back after it again. | ||
| But I started realizing I can't run that far. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So what I did was I became damn near a professional cyclist with the miles I put on the bike. | ||
| So, I never... | ||
| Whenever I watch TV... I had to be doing something. | ||
| So I was riding a bike. | ||
| I rode a bike a lot. | ||
| To lose the first initial kind of weight because my bones were just hurting so bad. | ||
| My body was just broken. | ||
| And I learned to get over that also. | ||
| And I tried to swim a lot. | ||
| I wasn't a great swimmer, but putting fins on kind of equalized my body. | ||
| I wasn't so negative buoyant. | ||
| So I started finning a whole bunch. | ||
| And I spent hours in the pool. | ||
| Hours in the pool. | ||
| Trying to get more and more comfortable. | ||
| Not because I was going underwater. | ||
| I was so scared of the water that I had to live in the water. | ||
| I had to become one with the water. | ||
| So going to the pool used to scare me. | ||
| So I went to the pool an awful, awful lot. | ||
| And then the bike got easier. | ||
| I was able to run more. | ||
| I went from like one mile. | ||
| One mile was a great accomplishment. | ||
| Two miles. | ||
| And then from two to three was a big one. | ||
| Then I went from three to six. | ||
| And then, like they have a warning order that they give people to get ready for buds. | ||
| And the whole thing was running six miles five days a week. | ||
| And that was my goal. | ||
| And so I just kept, I failed, I go back to scratch. | ||
| I used some positive motivation. | ||
| I had like one day where I was like fucking defeated. | ||
| But I started realizing this is part of the process. | ||
| This is part of the journey. | ||
| I had to realize this is part of my process. | ||
| Versus just saying, like I used to, I'm just not good enough. | ||
| If I'm not good enough, we always say that shit. | ||
| I'm just not good enough, and then we try something else. | ||
| I'm gonna fucking make myself good enough. | ||
| And that became my mentality. | ||
| I'm gonna make myself good enough. | ||
| And so I misunderstood a lot, but that's all it came down to. | ||
| I made myself good enough. | ||
| And the days I couldn't run that far, the next week, I would do two a days on the running. | ||
| If I ran a quarter of a mile, I'd wait a fucking couple hours, it'd haunt me, bother me, I'd try to run a half a mile next time. | ||
| Same day. | ||
| You can do more than this. | ||
| If I had to walk, I had to walk. | ||
| It just became just a process of grinding and grinding, and grinding's not even a good word for it. | ||
| It's not even a good word for it. | ||
| And just going further and further. | ||
| And then when I got through running, I'd go to the bike. | ||
| I'd go to the pool. | ||
| If I got tired somewhere, my legs were tired, I'd go to the gym. | ||
| And I developed this crazy workout where I was doing volume, like two, three hundred reps of very light weight. | ||
| People always say, how come you don't have any loose skin? | ||
| My workout routine in the gym became sick. | ||
| It became sick. | ||
| I was just doing two, three hundred reps, four hundred reps on like chest, just like for one simple exercise, the bench press. | ||
| And I rack it, get back on it, just rep it out, trying to burn as many calories as I can, build that muscle mass. | ||
| And I just became obsessed with it. | ||
| So when you're doing this, are you worried at all about repetitive stress injuries or the fact that your body's not conditioned for this? | ||
| And you're basically taking your body where you had abused it, and now you're forcing it to live like an elite athlete. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I didn't care. | ||
| I didn't know any better. | ||
| I didn't think about it. | ||
| I didn't know that working out that hard would fuck you up. | ||
| Did it fuck you up? | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| That's one reason why I went through three hell weeks. | ||
| I don't talk about it a lot, but the stress of my life getting to 24 caused me to have some serious psoas issues. | ||
| I didn't know anything about this shit. | ||
| The psoas muscle is what we use. | ||
| It's your hip flexor muscle. | ||
| And basically, under stress, it starts to tighten up. | ||
| And I stuttered from the time I was in third grade to the time I was in seventh grade. | ||
| White blotches on my skin. | ||
| I was a nutcase. | ||
| And so the insides of me are also getting fucked up. | ||
| So in this process, my psoas muscle got real tight to my T12. I can show you the bump in the back of my head after this show is over, but I started growing this fucking large tumor-looking bump in the back of my head from my body compressing. | ||
| So I'm 6'1", but my muscles were like 5'9". | ||
| Because I just started, just the muscle tightness for my psoas, going to my T12, I was just getting tighter, my quads, everything getting tired from just stress, just stress in my life. | ||
| So the more I stressed my body with the workouts, my lower body became out of balance. | ||
| So I had a bunch of stress fractures, a bunch of injuries going through BUDS, and how I got through BUDS was they gave me my third time, was my last time going through Hell Week, I basically put a black sock on at 4 o'clock in the morning and I would get duct tape. | ||
| I had numerous stress fractures on both of my legs because my body was literally like coming in on itself. | ||
| And my legs were like, I was pronating it really bad and putting stress on my shins. | ||
| And so I would put duct tape. | ||
| I would duct tape my feet and I would show you the top of them where I have pressure ulcers that were the size of quarters. | ||
| From, you know, how the ankle joint, so the foot goes to the shin, and how you move this, where the tape was so tight, it just created a nice ulcer right there. | ||
| And I just kept going through it. | ||
| So you just used that tape to just support your ankles? | ||
| Right, so I basically cast myself, and for the first 30-45 minutes the pain was excruciating, but then it would go numb. | ||
| And I would go numb, and that's how I got through. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| Did that do any long-term damage? | ||
| Yeah, I've been out for five years. | ||
| So I retired from... | ||
| I did 21 years in the military. | ||
| I did time in the Air Force and I did about 16 years in the Navy. | ||
| How old are you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
43. You look like you're 30. That's good. | |
| That's good. | ||
| You look very young for your age. | ||
| Whenever I'm stressed, I get after it. | ||
| I fix what's ever bothering me. | ||
| Basically, over the last five years, everything I've done in my life, I did it being very unhealthy. | ||
| I never talked about it. | ||
| I just kept going. | ||
| And it cost me pretty much, I was choking my insides out. | ||
| Adrenal issues, tons of adrenal issues, thyroid issues, anything with the endocrine system pretty much shut down on me. | ||
| My organs were pretty much shutting down. | ||
| And I went from a guy who could run 205 miles to a guy who couldn't get out of bed. | ||
| And the doctors were trying to search what was wrong. | ||
| That's why I figured out the psoas muscle. | ||
| No one figured it out. | ||
| And I hit it by accident. | ||
| So, I've missed two days of stretching out in five years. | ||
| And so what happened was all the shit I did to myself, the stress I was under, physical, mental, all kind of shit, it just choked me out from the inside. | ||
| And doctors put me on all kinds of medication. | ||
| And the medication started doing the exact opposite. | ||
| Like what kind of shit? | ||
| I was on DHEA. I was on some different things for my estrogen, different things for my... | ||
| I was on anything to do with your endocrine system. | ||
| Thyroid medicine. | ||
| Good God, I was on cortisol, all kind of shit to get my stuff in. | ||
| I had like this lump in my throat from like the heart was always... | ||
| I couldn't run down the street. | ||
| My body was just jacked up. | ||
| Couldn't sleep. | ||
| My whole body was just down, shutting down. | ||
| I could give you a lot more than that, but just to give you an example, I was fucking dying. | ||
| And so I couldn't do anything. | ||
| I went from a guy who was this guy to a guy who can't do shit. | ||
| And the doctor was like, I don't know what's wrong with you, man. | ||
| You know, your labs are this. | ||
| Is it PTSD? What's going on? | ||
| I knew it wasn't any of that shit. | ||
| So I sat in the bed one day and I realized, man, my life is over. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| But it gave me time to reflect on everything I had accomplished. | ||
| I've never taken time to reflect on the kid I was to the man I am now. | ||
| So honestly, the time I wasn't working out, it was the best time of my life because I got a chance to really reflect back and be proud of who I became. | ||
| I never took time to do that. | ||
| It was like one after another. | ||
| Get the fuck after it. | ||
| Get after it. | ||
| Get after it. | ||
| You ain't good enough, motherfucker. | ||
| Get after it. | ||
| Get after it. | ||
| And I got halted. | ||
| So anyway, this process went on for a while. | ||
| More medication. | ||
| This isn't working. | ||
| That's not working. | ||
| No doctor can figure it out. | ||
| I'm like, fuck it. | ||
| I saw this doc about eight years before this happened. | ||
| And he was like, hey, man, you're so fucking tight. | ||
| I've never seen anybody in my life as tight as you. | ||
| You need 50,000 hours of stretching. | ||
| He used to throw out some crazy number. | ||
| I was like, whatever. | ||
| Stretching, you know, stretch. | ||
| Stretching's bad for you. | ||
| You thought stretching was bad for you? | ||
| Yeah, stress is bad for you, man. | ||
| Why did you think that? | ||
| I read some article, you know, man, fuck stretching, man. | ||
| I worked out so hard. | ||
| I didn't have time to stretch, man. | ||
| I was running 150 miles a week. | ||
| I was biking to work, man. | ||
| I was getting after it, man. | ||
| I was working a full-time job. | ||
| And stretching and doing that. | ||
| So my body was literally getting tighter and tighter, not just from what I was doing. | ||
| Oh, because you ran this. | ||
| No, it wasn't that, man. | ||
| And so I said, you know what? | ||
| I'm going to try and stretch out. | ||
| So I don't do anything for like 10 minutes or, you know, I don't do no six-minute abs bullshit. | ||
| So I started stretching out one hour, hour and a half. | ||
| Long story short, man, I shaved my head almost every morning. | ||
| And that bump that was on the back of my fucking head, I started realizing it was shrinking for some fucking reason. | ||
| I don't know why, because I shaved my head back and I was like, it's getting smaller. | ||
| The smaller that bump got, the healthier I got. | ||
| The smile that bump got. | ||
| I was like, oh, hold up, motherfucker. | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| That's so weird. | ||
| My muscles started getting more and more stressed out, more and more relaxed. | ||
| And over a period of five years, I'm in the best shape of my damn life right now from stretching out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That's all it was. | ||
| I went from, like, I can't even count the medications I was on. | ||
| Now I'm on a very low-dose thyroid pill. | ||
| Period. | ||
| Do you ever do yoga? | ||
| All the time, man. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| And I... If I were to tell somebody one thing right now, man, that's so-ass muscle and getting that hip flexor opened up, because we're all stressed the fuck out. | ||
| It was so much worse than others. | ||
| It changed my life. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How do you say Nick Gregorius? | ||
| How do you say his last name? | ||
| The Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt from England, the Greek fella. | ||
| He has a great quote about yoga. | ||
| He said, yoga is a martial art you do against yourself. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| It's a great way of putting it. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| That's what it feels like when you're in there, right? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| And so... | ||
| How many years ago was this? | ||
| It was five years ago where you couldn't do anything? | ||
| And how long was there a period where you couldn't work out at all? | ||
| There was about... | ||
| So I always tried to do something, but I couldn't run hardly at all. | ||
| I could run maybe half a mile, and all that heart shit would happen, and my heart would get afib, and all kind of stuff would happen. | ||
| And I started just stretching, and also I tried to do pull-ups every now and then, but everything was just... | ||
| I didn't have the energy. | ||
| I didn't have anything. | ||
| I mean, nothing was processing right for me. | ||
| Did you think that you had just broken your body because you pushed it too hard? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| I sat back in that bed that night, and I had a lot of time to reflect. | ||
| I said, you know what? | ||
| I was actually kind of proud of myself in a very sick, twisted way. | ||
| Even though people don't understand it, I had to do what I had to do. | ||
| And I did it. | ||
| I didn't tell you how I got into ultra running. | ||
| You know, there's a lot of things that... | ||
| So, I pushed it extremely hard. | ||
| I went way beyond what I thought was capable. | ||
| Like my first ultra race I did, I was heavier. | ||
| I was in Iraq. | ||
| You know, the Marcus Luttrell Lone Survivor. | ||
| I was in Bud's. | ||
| I was in Three Hell Weeks, as you know, as I said a million times. | ||
| And I knew a lot of guys that died in the operation. | ||
| I was at Free Fall School with Morgan Luttrell, who was his twin brother, during the Operation Web Wings, where Marcus Luttrell was Lone Survivor. | ||
| I knew Marcus Trill well, and I was about 200 some odd pounds, and I didn't run hardly at all at this time. | ||
| I was a SEAL, but I was like a bodybuilder. | ||
| And I did an elliptical trainer 20 minutes on Sunday. | ||
| That's all I did. | ||
| That's all I did. | ||
| Fuck that cardio stuff. | ||
| I was never about it until this happened. | ||
| So that happened and I was like, man, I gotta find a way to raise money for these families. | ||
| So I Googled the... | ||
| I found a foundation, Special Operations Warrior Foundation, and I Googled the 10 hardest races in the world. | ||
| I knew nothing about ultra running. | ||
| The first I'd ever run was 20 miles at one time. | ||
| And so what came up was the Badwater 135. 135-mile run through Death Valley in the summertime. | ||
| I thought it was a fucking stage race. | ||
| I know people can run 135 miles at one time. | ||
| I had no idea it was even possible. | ||
| What do you mean a stage race? | ||
| Where you run like 20 miles, camp out, and then run 20 more until you get 135 miles. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So I wasn't an ultra runner. | ||
| Didn't know what an ultra runner was. | ||
| I called the race director up, Chris Costman of the Badwater. | ||
| And he said, are you an ultra runner? | ||
| And I was like, I don't know what that is. | ||
| He goes, have you run 100 miles in 24 hours or less? | ||
| I was like, no. | ||
| But I said, I'm a Navy SEAL. I was in three hell weeks. | ||
| I was a Ranger. | ||
| I gave him some resume. | ||
| He didn't give a shit. | ||
| He said, I don't care. | ||
| You got to qualify for my race. | ||
| And the deadline was up in two months for this Badwater race. | ||
| And basically, he said, there's two more races you can do to qualify. | ||
| And I might consider you in my race. | ||
| We select top 90 athletes in the world. | ||
| And you're not even an ultra runner. | ||
| But I like your calls. | ||
| I like what you're doing. | ||
| He said, I'll call him up on a Wednesday. | ||
| And he goes, there's a race on Saturday in San Diego, San Diego one day, where you run around a one mile track for 24 hours, so many miles you can get. | ||
| If you get 124 hours, I will consider you in my race. | ||
| I did the math, 14 some minute mile, fuck it, I can do that. | ||
| Dumb shit thinking, I'll tell you that right now. | ||
| It was rough. | ||
| The worst pain I've been in my entire life was this race. | ||
| So, I have my wife at the time, she's now my ex-wife. | ||
| We go to Walmart, get a blue lawn chair, rich crackers and mild plex. | ||
| That's what I'm gonna have for a 100 mile run. | ||
| So, show up at the start line of this race, It was the AUA National Championships. | ||
| It's like the best ultra runners compete against each other to see how many miles you can get in 24 hours. | ||
| And I'm this big bodybuilder looking guy with a shirt off. | ||
| How much did you weigh back then? | ||
| I would say I was at least 230. At least it may have been more. | ||
| Than jacked? | ||
| Yeah, I was ripped the fuck up. | ||
| Big old chest. | ||
| I was jacked up. | ||
| There's a picture of me. | ||
| You definitely didn't look like someone who could run 100 miles. | ||
| No, not at all. | ||
| So basically, I start running and I get to about mile 40, mile 50 and I'm feeling pretty good. | ||
| I get to mile 70 and it was the worst pain of my life. | ||
| I sat down in this blue lawn chair at mile 70 And the Ritz crackers after mile 20 became Ritz cracker balls. | ||
| I wasn't hydrating correctly. | ||
| I didn't know what to do. | ||
| I was drinking mileplex for my nutrition because I couldn't eat these Ritz crackers. | ||
| Had very minimal water, if any at all. | ||
| And I was just dying. | ||
| So I sat down in this blue lawn chair. | ||
| I was watching all these runners go around in this circle. | ||
| I was all dizzy and lightheaded. | ||
| Hadn't gone to the bathroom. | ||
| It's been about 12 hours. | ||
| I went 70 miles in about 12 hours, which is good. | ||
| And I looked at my ex-wife now, and I was like, I am fucked. | ||
| I started seeing like three of her. | ||
| And once my body stopped, my mind just went off. | ||
| And I had to go to the bathroom. | ||
| And the bathroom was like 20 feet away from me, if that. | ||
| And I couldn't. | ||
| And so I sat there and peed blood down my leg and started crapping up my back, and we had 30 miles to go. | ||
| And my feet were broken. | ||
| I was just in the worst shape. | ||
| Because once you stop running, Not running like that. | ||
| I mean, I hadn't run in almost a year. | ||
| I was just doing bodybuilding stuff in 20 minutes on an elliptical trainer. | ||
| No running at all? | ||
| I probably ran no shit, no shit, no more than 50 miles the whole year. | ||
| That wasn't my thing. | ||
| I wanted to be like Jack. | ||
| I didn't want to be cardio guy. | ||
| I wanted to be ripped, big Navy SEAL guy. | ||
| And the day before this race, it's funny, this guy named Joe Burns, who put me through my hell weeks, a SEAL guy, he's one of the hardest guys out there, He was in the gym the Friday before I did this race. | ||
| And he was doing a full body squats, dead lifts, power cleans. | ||
| I said, fuck it, man. | ||
| You know, he's the guy that approved me to do this race. | ||
| You know, he gave me the approval to go do this race and signed off on it. | ||
| So I'm in the gym. | ||
| I went in there and did a full body, hardcore squats, deadlifts, and everything with this guy. | ||
| Because I knew he was going to come watch me in this race. | ||
| So I've always been about, alright man, you're going to see me come in here and jack this weight, and tomorrow you're going to watch me do a 100 mile run. | ||
| What are you going to think about that? | ||
| So, basically, I paid for it. | ||
| So he came out there with my favorite thing, chocolate mini donuts, because he knew my story of my past life, and brought six mini donuts out there, and I had my hat pulled down, and at mile 70, man, it was torturous. | ||
| And with blood down my leg and 30 miles to go, I... Started reaching the cookie jars man. | ||
| I started pulling off all kind of stuff I reached in my mind and a lot of us when we have bad times in life even the hardest person where we forget how badass we are during that hard time I Have a thing where I take a couple seconds to reflect on hang on man You've been to been through this you've been through that you overcame this overcame that I don't ever close my mind to the fact that this can't be done and And I knew I had to get up. | ||
| I needed nutrition. | ||
| I needed hydration. | ||
| I needed to stop being dizzy. | ||
| So that's the first thing I did. | ||
| I didn't panic on it. | ||
| I had 30 more miles to go to get 100. I had to start about the process. | ||
| Slowly but surely I was able to stand up, and I was literally hobbling around this track, just walking. | ||
| No running at all. | ||
| I couldn't run. | ||
| My feet were in the worst pain. | ||
| This is the worst pain I've been in my entire life. | ||
| Nothing in any training is even comparable to this last 30 miles. | ||
| And what happened was, my ex-wife looked at me and she's like, man, we agreed I'm not gonna make the time. | ||
| I was going way too slow. | ||
| And at that time, at mile 81, Something clicked that I'll never probably be able to do again with my mind, body, spirit, soul, everything just connected. | ||
| And my mind knew I wasn't fucking around anymore. | ||
| It knew I wasn't going to quit. | ||
| It knew that guy was dead and buried and gone. | ||
| And I was going to die out here on this fucking Walmart for whatever reason why I was going to get through this motherfucker. | ||
| I didn't give a damn. | ||
| There was no fucking crowds. | ||
| There was no trophy at the end. | ||
| I wasn't even in a race in my mind. | ||
| It was nothing. | ||
| It wasn't about nothing. | ||
| There was no nothing. | ||
| It was a bunch of people who didn't know who the fuck I was. | ||
| It was me against me. | ||
| And I used all these different dark places to start bringing out light and just fucking going deeper and deeper. | ||
| Ended up running the next 20 miles. | ||
| I ran 101 miles. | ||
| And I ran the next 20 miles. | ||
| Ran. | ||
| At about a 10-30 pace. | ||
| And I did 101 miles in 18 hours and 56 minutes. | ||
| Sat back down that blue porta potty. | ||
| Now, my chair that I got from Walmart. | ||
| And that's when the body realized I was done. | ||
| And this great feeling came over me, but also the worst pain in my life. | ||
| That's when I took a humongous shit on myself. | ||
| Literally like a fucking log up my fucking back. | ||
| Pissed so much blood down. | ||
| And my wife was, she was a nurse. | ||
| And she was freaked out. | ||
| I couldn't get up. | ||
| I couldn't stand up. | ||
| She backed this Camry on the knoll of the grassy area I was at. | ||
| And we were both lifters at the time, so she was decently strong. | ||
| I put my arms around her neck. | ||
| She got me to the backseat of the car, let the windows down. | ||
| It kind of smelled like horrible shit. | ||
| And I had this poncho on it because it was November in San Diego, so I'm sitting there Jack Camry in the back of this car. | ||
| And she was terrified. | ||
| I need to get to the doctor. | ||
| I need to get to the doctor. | ||
| So I said, just take me home. | ||
| So we lived on the second story, or the second deck of this apartment complex in San Diego. | ||
| I got to the first deck, so I get out of the car and I could stand up, but with my arms around her neck. | ||
| So I was just leaning down because I was going to pass out. | ||
| I got to the first deck, went down. | ||
| Just couldn't stand up anymore. | ||
| Got around her neck. | ||
| Worked my way up the railing. | ||
| Got around her neck again. | ||
| Walked to the kitchen area, which was right in the front door. | ||
| I was laying on the puncture liner. | ||
| Crap was everywhere. | ||
| I managed. | ||
| She helped me manage to get into the tub. | ||
| And it was like dirt was coming out of my penis. | ||
| This looked horrible. | ||
| Just the grossest thing in the world. | ||
| It's the worst pain I can ever, ever, ever be in in my life. | ||
| And the craziest thing, I'll tell you a story because of this right now. | ||
| I'm not sadistic. | ||
| I'm not crazy. | ||
| People may think that. | ||
| They may want to put a title on me after hearing me because it makes them feel better. | ||
| Because they think, wow, this guy must be some special or just fucked up crazy dude. | ||
| No. | ||
| I'm a guy that came from nothing. | ||
| Anybody's capable of doing shit like this. | ||
| Anybody. | ||
| And I sat in that tub. | ||
| She put the water on me. | ||
| She called my mom up. | ||
| And my mom was dating a doctor at the time. | ||
| The doctor said, you need to get him to a hospital now. | ||
| She came back in. | ||
| All I wanted to do was call Chris Costman on the phone, the race director of Badwater, and said, I fucking did it. | ||
| So she said, I'm taking you to the doctor. | ||
| I said, no, let me sit here and enjoy this pain. | ||
| She said, what are you talking about? | ||
| I said, you know, I go, I need to go to the doctor. | ||
| I realized that. | ||
| But I never thought... | ||
| It was humanly possible to do what I did. | ||
| I went 70 miles, and at 70 miles, I was dead. | ||
| I was at 100% what I thought was 100%. | ||
| I went 31 more miles after being in the worst physical shape I've ever been in in my life. | ||
| And all the... | ||
| All that pain and suffering and thing was going through my fucking body as I sat in that tub and the waters hit me. | ||
| It was the most amazing feeling of accomplishment and I want to be numb. | ||
| I want people to give me drugs and to numb this fucking pain. | ||
| I wanted to... | ||
| I did this. | ||
| As crazy as it sounds, it was the most amazing moment of my entire life. | ||
| To overcome such... | ||
| To come from this kid... | ||
| Who was mentally tortured himself and was tortured. | ||
| It's all to this kid, to this guy now, who was able to overcome such amazing odds and obstacles. | ||
| And I called Chris Cosmo, the race director of Badwater, and he said, the idea of a 24-hour race is to run 24 hours. | ||
| You only ran 19. And he put doubt in my mind that he wouldn't let me into Badwater. | ||
| So a month later or so, about a month and a half later, I went to this race called the Hurt 100. It's a 100-mile race in Hawaii, 26,000 feet of colony. | ||
| That was all he said? | ||
| That's all he said. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| I mean, he's a hardcore dude, but he didn't know how fucked up I was. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And he said, he didn't say no, I'm not going to let you in. | ||
| He put enough doubt in my mind to say, man, I've got to do more. | ||
| So, I was broken. | ||
| I was broken bad. | ||
| How long did it take you to recover physically? | ||
| The funniest thing about this, I don't tell this story very often. | ||
| I had signed up for, I'm getting to that answer, it's right now. | ||
| I went on deployment and me and my wife my mom signed up for the first Las Vegas marathon down the strip of Las Vegas and That incident happened so I ran a hundred miles before I ran a marathon Two weeks later roughly December 5th was this marathon that we all signed up for I couldn't walk I could not walk I was fucked up so Ten days or two weeks after this hundred mile in one race I did This | ||
| marathon December 5th in Las Vegas. | ||
| I said, you know, it's the first one I can't run Maybe I can walk with my mom So I tried to go out to this little knoll around our grassy area in San Diego I tried to run legs were broken. | ||
| I said fuck I can't even I'm jacked can't do shit So I said, you know, maybe I'll watch you guys do the marathon and I'll cheer you guys on whatever I said, I'll try to walk with my mom December 5th happened. | ||
| That gun went off. | ||
| 2005, 14 days after, I broke myself off, and I qualified for the Boston Marathon. | ||
| I ran a.308. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| And what's funny about it, I know people here say this motherfucker, even when I tell you the story, I want to drop so many names. | ||
| Google it. | ||
| Look it up. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| It almost seems like I'm making my own story up. | ||
| It does. | ||
| It almost seems like it to you? | ||
| It does. | ||
| If I were to hear somebody... | ||
| Let's say I listen to Joe Rogan's podcast. | ||
| I heard some black dude from fucking Brazil in the end talking about, this happened, this happened, three hell weeks, ran to school, ran 100 miles, broke my feet, broke my body. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, this mother, he's the biggest fucking liar on the planet. | |
| Ain't nobody doing that shit. | ||
| See, even when I tell him my story, It almost sounds like some made-up shit. | ||
| What sounds so crazy is you ran 100 miles before you ever ran a marathon. | ||
| Then you didn't run again at all, and you still qualified for the Boston Marathon. | ||
| So you ran a.308 for the first marathon you ever did, two weeks after you ran 100 miles with no training and nothing in between. | ||
| But it gets better than that. | ||
| You can see my training log that I actually posted up. | ||
| So that's when I started training for the Hurt 100. So basically what happened was after that I had about four weeks. | ||
| What did it feel like to run that 308 if you could barely walk? | ||
| When that gun went off, something went off in my head, and I didn't feel that much pain at all. | ||
| Afterwards, I did, but something happened where I was like, the gun went off, and that thing came back. | ||
| Like, alright man, what if? | ||
| Because I wanted to qualify for Boston. | ||
| That was my goal. | ||
| But I was jacked up, you know? | ||
| And I didn't run as much as I should have at all over my Iraq training. | ||
| I hit the weights. | ||
| But my goal was when I signed up for it a year early, I want to qualify for Boston, which was a 310.59. | ||
| And I was like, what if you can qualify for Boston, man? | ||
| So what helped me out, I just ran 101 miles. | ||
| What the fuck is 26 miles to me now? | ||
| So the mindset going into it was like, I ran 75 more miles than this. | ||
| So I used it to my advantage. | ||
| So after that happened, I ran with my feet pretty much broken. | ||
| I would go to the physical therapist and they had this compression tape. | ||
| Compression tape helped because my feet were pretty bad off. | ||
| And I would run 70, 80, 100 mile weeks. | ||
| And then I went to the Hurt 100, racing Hawaii, 26,000 feet of climbing over 100 miles. | ||
| Probably one of the top five hardest 100 mile races in the world. | ||
| I wasn't even a real runner. | ||
| I had banked a lot of miles by the last two and a half, about two months. | ||
| But I wasn't a runner. | ||
| Went out there and got through the race. | ||
| Did it in 33 hours. | ||
| Was the ninth place finisher. | ||
| Not many people finished that year. | ||
| And I qualified for Badwater and got in. | ||
| And I went on to lose weight and train hard. | ||
| And I got fifth my first year and went back my second year and got third. | ||
| When you say you lost weight, what were you eventually weighing? | ||
| So I went to the race about 190, 195. So you lost quite a bit from your bodybuilding time. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's over a short period of time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| How did you lose all that weight? | ||
| Once again, I just worked out hard. | ||
| I stopped taking my protein so much. | ||
| I got off. | ||
| I was on this stuff called Nitro Tech. | ||
| And I got off all the protein stuff. | ||
| I just started. | ||
| I stopped hitting the weights so hard. | ||
| And I just became a running fool. | ||
| Became the Black Forest Gump, man, pretty much. | ||
| Pretty simple, man. | ||
| That's what happened. | ||
| Now, when you say you were using compression tape on your feet and that your feet were jacked up, what was the extent of the injuries? | ||
| So basically, because of my pronation that I never figured out, because of my psoas muscles, I always had issues with stretch fractures, shin splints. | ||
| So I put a lot of pressure on the inside of my ankles. | ||
| And so there's this tendon that goes up the back side of your, I don't know if it's your fibula, on the back side of that little bone, on the back side of your foot. | ||
| It goes right up the side of that, right alongside that bone. | ||
| And that thing was just so flared up on both sides that even this flexing my foot was just killing me. | ||
| So I realized when you cast that thing up, casting my feet always helped me out because it locked my foot into a position that wouldn't make me pronate as much. | ||
| So between the casting of that, and if you watched the Badwater video of 2006, You'll see me crossing the finish line with this compression tape literally like flying on my ankles because I went to the race with compression tape on my ankles. | ||
| And so basically, I have that on my, you know, on my ankles. | ||
| I had inserts in my, you know, in my shoes and also this wedge. | ||
| On the back heel of my left foot. | ||
| So then it would keep me from pronating that heel so much. | ||
| So I had all that on just to go around. | ||
| And I ran my ass off and went to Badwater 2006 with compression tape on my feet and walked a lot. | ||
| But I got third place. | ||
| Do you always run with regular running shoes? | ||
| I do. | ||
| Yeah, so now I don't have those issues anymore. | ||
| All the stretching has opened my body up to how it should have been. | ||
| So my alignment is pretty good. | ||
| It's not perfect. | ||
| So now I just run in regular running shoes now. | ||
| No more compression tape, no more none of that stuff. | ||
| So if you see now, if you look down there, you'll see the compression tape. | ||
| And you'll see my ex-wife here in a second taking the compression tape off of me. | ||
| She's doing it right now. | ||
| See it right now? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| See the tape? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So that's the tape right there that I had to wear every day of my life to run. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So as you see the story may be kind of unbelievable, but there's some proof right there So that's how I was so painful Yeah, I was pretty fucked up as you see right now. | ||
| I'm trying to get oh man. | ||
| Yeah, I'm pretty destroyed right there What is the most amount of miles you've ever run at one time? | ||
| Yeah 205 and 39 hours Wow non-stop Yeah, I've had quite a few people on, I've met quite a few people now over the last year or so that have run Ultras. | ||
| Courtney DeWalter, you know who she is? | ||
| She won the Moab 240. She beat all the men by 22 miles, something like that. | ||
| Some crazy thing. | ||
| She was first place winner. | ||
| She beat everybody else. | ||
| Second place winner. | ||
| And with her, I mean, you would never believe it. | ||
| When you talk to her, she seems so normal. | ||
| She drinks beer and eats nachos and eats candy. | ||
| That's ultra winner, man. | ||
| She's just silly and she's fun. | ||
| There's no demon there. | ||
| I'm like waiting to meet a demon. | ||
| I'm like, where's your demon? | ||
| How are you getting through that? | ||
| Her demon's a quiet demon. | ||
| It's there. | ||
| It has to be there. | ||
| There's something there. | ||
| It has to be. | ||
| There's no other people, everybody I know that can do that has a demon. | ||
| A lot of us don't want to admit to shit. | ||
| We got them. | ||
| Oh, 100%. | ||
| It has to be. | ||
| So when you do this and you qualify and you do that race in Hawaii, they just let you in after that? | ||
| No, so the race in Hawaii, yeah, I actually called the race director up and there wasn't like a big time, like I didn't have a 100 mile race I believe I had. | ||
| So you had a 100 mile, you did the Boston Marathon, or you did the Vegas Marathon? | ||
| Yeah, so I did the 101 miles, the Vegas Marathon, went to Hurt 100, did that 100 miler. | ||
| And all this is in a very short amount of time. | ||
| Yeah, so November was the first 100 miler. | ||
| December was the 26th miler in Las Vegas. | ||
| January... | ||
| Was the next hundred mile in Hawaii. | ||
| Do you know how fucking crazy that is? | ||
| Like, say, if I was your friend and I called you up on October 20th, and I'd go, hey man, how many times did you run? | ||
| You're like, ah, run every now and then. | ||
| You want to see something crazy? | ||
| I don't know if you can pull it up or not, but if you can pull up my race schedule for 2007, just pull up David Goggin's race results. | ||
| You're going to see something real crazy in a second. | ||
| This is going to... | ||
| And I've got to show you proof, because why... | ||
| I know my story doesn't make any sense, but just look at the dates of these races. | ||
| And we're going to show it to you in a second. | ||
| Just look at the 100 miles and 50 miles back-to-back weekends, how many weekends there were between races. | ||
| So if you look right here, you can't really see it. | ||
| So if you look at 2007, you got to go all the way down. | ||
| Keep on going, 2017. See those races there? | ||
| Okay, get right there. | ||
| So, 100 miler Hawaii. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Two weeks later, three weeks later, another one, that's 50 miler. | ||
| 50 miler a month later. | ||
| Then you're looking at, what, 14 days later, another 50k. | ||
| 50 miler a month later. | ||
| Then you look at less than a month, another 50 miler. | ||
| 53 miler in June. | ||
| July was another 100 miler. | ||
| Badwater was literally... | ||
| Badwater was a month after I did that 100 miler. | ||
| 135 miler. | ||
| Leadville was less than a month after Badwater. | ||
| The Plain 100 was three weeks after Leadville. | ||
| Angel's Crest was 10 days, a week after that 100 miler. | ||
| The Bear 100 was, what, 13 days after that 100 miler? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| And then I ran the 200, it said 203.5, but I didn't ran, it was 205 miles, I ran there. | ||
| But what's not in there was that McNaughton race I did in 2000, so that 150 mile race, I also did in 2007 that wasn't listed. | ||
| So that was just my 2007 year. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Yeah, so... | ||
| Do you think that is what fucked your body up? | ||
| No. | ||
| No? | ||
| No. | ||
| Because I still run the same mileage now. | ||
| What fucked my body up was Hell Week. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You don't go through three hell weeks in one year. | ||
| So what happened was when I realized that my body was really jacked up was I was a big-time squatter. | ||
| Loved squatting. | ||
| And I went through the first hell week, got messed up. | ||
| Second hell week, I got all the way through. | ||
| Then third hell week, I got all the way through. | ||
| And my third hell week, we had a guy die on Thursday. | ||
| And then that hell week ended. | ||
| And I graduated. | ||
| How did he die? | ||
| Pulmonary edema. | ||
| It was a cold. | ||
| His name was John Skopp. | ||
| Cold as fuck Hell Week. | ||
| The Pacific Ocean's never warm. | ||
| And it rained the whole time. | ||
| The whole time it just rained. | ||
| And he pretty much just drowned in his own fluid, pretty much. | ||
| We were in the pool doing some evolution. | ||
| He sunk to the bottom. | ||
| His temperature was hot. | ||
| He missed a lot of Hell Week for getting pulled out for different stuff. | ||
| He wouldn't go quit. | ||
| And he ended up dying in Hell Week. | ||
| But, yeah, so anyway... | ||
| After Hell Week ended, I wanted to go back to the gym. | ||
| You know, so second phase happened, dive phase. | ||
| Like, I could get back in the gym and start jacking my weight. | ||
| I love jacking weight. | ||
| And I realized I couldn't squat. | ||
| So I went from squatting a lot to where I couldn't even squat the bar because my lower back was all fucked up. | ||
| And I was like, I don't know what's going on. | ||
| It was because this muscle, so in Hell Week, your hip flexors are so, and I went through so many of them so fast. | ||
| And so the hardest part of BUDS, I went through three times. | ||
| Not the Hell Week part, that's one of the hardest parts, but it was the initial part of the, what everybody sees on TV. The log PT, the surf torture, the daggone boats over your head, all that shit. | ||
| I went through that person three times in one year. | ||
| And over a period of time, my hip flexors got so tight that it just jacked me up. | ||
| It jacked me up from my hip flexors, always being so cold and so stressed out. | ||
| And everything led up to it, but this really was the part that I noticed I could squat before Hell Week or before my first time going to BUDS. After BUDS, I couldn't squat anymore. | ||
| Do you just think it might just be because your body was exhausted? | ||
| No. | ||
| No? | ||
| For 12 years or so, I would go back and tough it out like with Joe Burns. | ||
| He was squatting, so I said, fuck, I'm going to squat with Joe Burns. | ||
| But I just couldn't squat because that muscle was attached to your T12. So what was it doing to you? | ||
| Was it locking up? | ||
| It was just pulling. | ||
| So it made my hips feel like I couldn't sink my ass. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, okay. | |
| I couldn't sink, so it was just incredible pain. | ||
| And then with the weight... | ||
| Pushing me down and then trying to push up the pain was just is this too much? | ||
| So it's all this is all range of motion all range of motion issues. | ||
| Yeah Wow that that's an important thing for my friend Cam Haynes who doesn't stretch He's another friend of mine who runs ultra races. | ||
| He ran that Moab 240 He's run the Bigfoot 205. He's run a few of those. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I know he's listening. | ||
| Go stretch, dude. | ||
| Yeah, support, man. | ||
| Especially if you're working that hard, right? | ||
| If you're doing that much. | ||
| Yeah, you're definitely locking up. | ||
| He could barely touch his toes. | ||
| Yeah, that's not a good thing. | ||
| That's not good, right? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| It comes back to hurt you inside pretty soon. | ||
| Now, how flexible are you now? | ||
| Because I would imagine you're probably a fucking ballerina at this point. | ||
| What's sad is... | ||
| Knowing your brain. | ||
| I'm trying to get there. | ||
| I'm trying to get there. | ||
| So I stretch every night for at least two hours. | ||
| There's a thing that people say that will always piss me off. | ||
| Like, because I'm pretty flexible. | ||
| They say, oh, you're naturally flexible. | ||
| People have a natural threshold. | ||
| They're like, no, they don't. | ||
| Like, a doctor told me that. | ||
| I go, you don't know what you're talking about. | ||
| I'm like, you don't know what you're talking about because most people don't push themselves past that pain, that stretch pain. | ||
| Right. | ||
| People want to put a title on you, man. | ||
| It's easier for them. | ||
| Oh, you're just fucking natural. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| You're natural. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| No, you don't work hard enough, motherfucker. | ||
| Yeah, people built like chimps aren't usually flexible. | ||
| You have to force yourself to do that. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| And I know it because I had a friend, my friend Tom Rodogna. | ||
| He was a football player. | ||
| Jack, big, thick dude. | ||
| Terrible flexibility. | ||
| He was taking Taekwondo with me. | ||
| And over the course of a couple years, I saw that dude eventually develop a full split. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| And he just did it through his mind. | ||
| Everybody else was done training. | ||
| That guy would be on the mat, constantly stretching, always working out. | ||
| Because he had built his body up so strong from all those years of squatting and lifting that he was all tense. | ||
| Everything was just like this. | ||
| Super powerful. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But all, like, very tense. | ||
| That's why I stopped, you know, that's why I never stretched, because I wanted that strength. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, you want that tight muscle, but no. | ||
| I don't think it... | ||
| It's stupid. | ||
| Yeah, I think you're not supposed to stretch before you do big physical activities, because I think it does, like, weaken you somewhat. | ||
| But I don't think being flexible overall makes you weaker. | ||
| Not at all. | ||
| Not at all. | ||
| Well, it certainly doesn't for martial arts because you need that flexibility to have leg dexterity to be able to kick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It's got to be fluid where it's not tightened up by the restriction of the motion of your body. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| It's truth. | ||
| I just think people are, for whatever reason, and I'm one of those, I drone on too much about yoga. | ||
| I'm like one of those vegans. | ||
| It's like, you got to do it, man. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just try it. | |
| I get annoying, like a born-again Christian or something. | ||
| I'm getting that way now, man. | ||
| I'm getting that way now. | ||
| For anybody who does anything hard, like, you know, if you do anything like weightlifting type shit or martial arts type shit where it's just everything's explosion, it's lifting, it's heavy, it's push, push, push. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yoga just will balance your shit out. | ||
| Yeah, it will. | ||
| Yeah, it will. | ||
| It really will, man. | ||
| And it's all these people that resist it. | ||
| Like there was some article recently that was something along the lines of hot yoga is just trendy nonsense. | ||
| I read that. | ||
| And then even in the article, it talked about that there might be some benefits in terms of like the strengthening your arteries. | ||
| And they didn't even mention heat shock proteins. | ||
| There's a study going on right now. | ||
| I believe it's at Harvard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| One of my friends was telling me about it where they're trying to find the benefits of 90-minute hot yoga classes because they think it might mirror the observed benefits of sauna, which they already know for a fact has big benefits because of your body producing heat shock proteins to deal with the heat. | ||
| That's why I put that sauna in here, man. | ||
| I go in that fucker all the time. | ||
| Well, no one can tell me it doesn't work. | ||
| It's proof positive. | ||
| It changed my life. | ||
| It wasn't a medication or this or a dress. | ||
| It was stretching. | ||
| It was yoga, stretching, all that stuff combined. | ||
| Changed it. | ||
| Well, I just think it balances out your body in those static poses where you're just holding the pose and it just works you out in a weird way. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| You just don't get lifting weights or hitting the bag or anything else. | ||
| You're just not going to get that kind of working out. | ||
| I can't agree with you more. | ||
| And it's so difficult. | ||
| That's what's crazy. | ||
| You're in there with a bunch of housewives and shit, and you're like, this is like the silent struggle. | ||
| It's humbling. | ||
| Nobody knows. | ||
| No, it's humbling. | ||
| If you see like two doorways, right, and one of them is like fucking C.T. Ali Fletcher's fucking super pump Iron Attic's gym, which is hard work, and then right next to it is the yoga studio. | ||
| You're like, well... | ||
| Once you get done with all that hard work, you'll go over to that yoga studio. | ||
| No, there's two different kinds of hard work going on. | ||
| It's no joke. | ||
| Two different kinds of hard work. | ||
| Yes, sir. | ||
| So what do you do now in terms of like you got over this five years ago, you're in this bad situation where your body's not working right, now everything's working great again. | ||
| Well, I had two heart surgeries also. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| What was wrong with your heart? | ||
| So I had a hole in it. | ||
| So, you know, you're not supposed to have a hole in your heart and be a SEAL. Were you born with it? | ||
| I was born with it. | ||
| It went undetected and me pushing so hard. | ||
| So in 2009, I was training for this race across America and I just couldn't go anymore. | ||
| Another pitfall in my life was the hole. | ||
| And I was pretty much off active duty seal for three years. | ||
| You know, I had two hearts, them trying to fix it. | ||
| So the hole was significantly large. | ||
| Like how big? | ||
| They say it was as big as a quarter. | ||
| I'm like, how the hell is it as big as a quarter? | ||
| Yeah, that's a pretty big hole in your heart. | ||
| Because they had two helix patches. | ||
| I'm like, that's impossible. | ||
| The helix patches, they're in my heart, so the two stents. | ||
| What is a helix patch? | ||
| It is like a little mesh, very... | ||
| Like what they do for hernias? | ||
| Like something like that? | ||
| Maybe something like that. | ||
| So they went up through my femoral artery, and they placed this patch. | ||
| To go through your artery? | ||
| Yeah, they went through my femoral artery. | ||
| Like with a camera? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| No, the camera was down through my throat. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| And they put this catheter through my femoral artery that went through my heart. | ||
| They went and they took this Helix patch, they placed it in there, and then they found out six months later that the hole wasn't covered up enough yet. | ||
| The healer's patch was very damn big. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So they go back in there in 2010. How does the patch adhere to your heart? | |
| I guess your heart heals around the patch. | ||
| But how do they stick it in place? | ||
| I guess they put it where the hole's at and then it kind of like inflates where the hole is at. | ||
| And then that thing goes in there, and then it kind of covers the hole, and then the heart. | ||
| So there's two things in my heart right now that the heart is kind of covered up. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Okay, so here's it. | ||
| So there you go. | ||
| Jamie's got an image of it for us. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| So it's attached to this little probe, and then they put it over the area where the injury is. | ||
| Wow, that's insane. | ||
| Yeah, atrial septum defects that I had. | ||
| Atrial septal defect. | ||
| So basically everything I had done... | ||
| Thank God for medicine. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| It's crazy what they could do. | ||
| I'd be done. | ||
| That's so crazy that they could do that. | ||
| Yeah, so I was off active duty for three years, so I was in a recruiting area for three years trying to get back on active duty, and that was my life for three years, man. | ||
| So they put that... | ||
| Patch in. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And now your heart's a hundred percent? | ||
| It's a hundred percent. | ||
| It's a hundred percent. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I was losing, you know, blood and I was just, I was bad off. | ||
| Which is amazing that you were able to do all that with a hole in your heart. | ||
| That's what the doctors were saying, you know, because they didn't know I was a seal. | ||
| So when I went in and the doctor that found the hole, like, so they gave me EKGs, all this stuff. | ||
| Once again, Man, it's after I ran like 205 miles, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like, man, you're in great shape. | ||
| I'm like, man, I just don't feel good. | ||
| Like, walking up the stairs is making me jacked up. | ||
| So, the doctor, Doc Shrek, he's like, you know, gave me EKG. He goes, go to the doctor, get an echocardiogram. | ||
| So, I'm in there, getting an echocardiogram, just chilling out in there, and the guy's talking to me. | ||
| He has this little wand in my heart. | ||
| We're bullshitting about stuff, and he, when people get quiet, Fucking not good, man. | ||
| So he's in there, just has his wand on my heart, chilling out. | ||
| Yeah, man, what are you doing here? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| And he says, I'll be right back. | ||
| He goes and gets a doctor. | ||
| Doctor comes in, puts a thing on my heart. | ||
| The doctor gets another doctor. | ||
| Now, I'm just freaking the fuck out. | ||
| I'm like, okay, because when it comes to your heart, you know, it's a big deal. | ||
| So they come back in, they say, hey, we can stop the echocardiogram. | ||
| We need to talk to you out in the hallway. | ||
| You have a hole in your heart. | ||
| And the guy didn't know that I was, he knew I was a Navy guy, but I don't think he knew I was a SEAL, because not many black guys are SEALs. | ||
| And we had a conversation about, you know, we got to fix this real quick. | ||
| I said, yeah, I mean, then I came up that I was a SEAL. He said, man, you could have died jumping, you could have died diving, you could have died and all this stuff. | ||
| Because basically, the hole in your heart, if it gets plugged with something, like anything, like, you know, let's say you get a bubble from diving or something like that, you're going to die. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So I call it luck. | ||
| I call it luck. | ||
| So I got through two surgeries. | ||
| They put me back on. | ||
| They give you the first one, and then when do they realize that it's not good enough? | ||
| So they take you back in, and you get a bubble study, a bubble test. | ||
| So they literally send bubbles that way, safe bubbles that way, to see if the bubble goes through your heart. | ||
| So they have this echocardiogram again, and they hook you up, I think, to IV or something like that, and they throw these bubbles through your heart. | ||
| And they see if it goes through. | ||
| After six months, when it should have been healed up, the bubble went through. | ||
| So they had to tell me then, hey, you're not good to go. | ||
| So I had to take a year before I could have another surgery. | ||
| Because that patch had to be completely, completely healed before they can go back in. | ||
| But all this time, you knew you had a hole. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So they knew I had a hole because of the heart surgery. | ||
| Right, but all this time, like when you're waiting for it to heal, you know you have an extra hole. | ||
| Yes, I know I have a hole. | ||
| What were you allowed to do with your body then? | ||
| Well, at that time, they go, you know, do how you feel comfortable. | ||
| And so, you know, the hole is not going to kill you right now, but you can't dive, you can't jump. | ||
| I pretty much wasn't a seal anymore, so I was a recruiter for a period of time. | ||
| So basically, I was crazy about that. | ||
| Before my second surgery, I was actually training for Delta Force. | ||
| I wanted to go to Delta, and I was rucking, ruck running a lot. | ||
| And before my second... | ||
| When ruck running mean you're running with a pack on? | ||
| Yeah, a pack on my back with some weight on it. | ||
| How heavy is the pack? | ||
| 50, 60 pounds. | ||
| And you run with that on? | ||
| Well, you're supposed to hike or hump, like ruck humping. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I ran with it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Because, you know, that's what I did. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So, the day of heart surgery, I did a ruck run. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| Because I knew I was going to be out of commission for a while. | ||
| So, fuck it, man. | ||
| I got to get my last one in, dude. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| So, all I could do, I have my training logs. | ||
| So, after my second heart surgery, all I could do was walk. | ||
| So, I became an ultra walker. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Fucking walked my fucking ass off. | ||
| And over a period of time, it took a year for that thing to heal up. | ||
| You know, my first bubble study after my second heart surgery came back negative or positive. | ||
| The bubble went through again. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| And they're going to have to crack me open. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| But over that period of time, my heart healed around that thing nicely, and I passed the second bubble test. | ||
| So the first bubble test was how long after? | ||
| A year? | ||
| So the first bubble test after the first surgery was six months. | ||
| And then you had to go through a full six months after that for it to totally heal. | ||
| Then you have the second heart surgery. | ||
| And when does the bubble test fail after the second heart surgery? | ||
| It was about six months. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| And they said, and the doctor looked at me and said, you know, I'm sorry to inform you, man. | ||
| We're going to have to crack your chest open the next time they're really getting there. | ||
| And so I sat back thinking this could be a third heart surgery. | ||
| And then they said, we have to wait for six months to see if this thing's gonna close up. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I came back thinking, man, I'm about to get cracked the fuck open. | ||
| And that bubble got pinned up, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Didn't go through. | ||
| Maybe you forced it through with your mind. | ||
| I know, right? | ||
| Close that bitch up. | ||
| When you're visualizing. | ||
| That's it, man. | ||
| That's something to visualize. | ||
| Holy shit, man. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
| It's crazy you went on a ruck run with a hole in your heart, too. | ||
| Well, I did it for several years. | ||
| I said, fuck it. | ||
| I might as well keep on going, man. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Now, after all said and done, everything's good now? | ||
| Yeah, everything's... | ||
| I mean, I'm sure something wants to pop up in my fucking ass not to do that. | ||
| You know, everything's good right now. | ||
| I'm always waiting for the next thing to pop up, and I handle it the same way. | ||
| I'll just attack it. | ||
| But yeah, as of right now, I'm in the best shape. | ||
| I'm 43 years old. | ||
| Just turned 43 February 17th. | ||
| I am in the best shape of my life. | ||
| I'm not knocking on wood because life... | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| Life comes at you, dude. | ||
| So fuck knocking on wood. | ||
| Come at me. | ||
| I mean, I would think that you would be a go-to guy for injuries. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've had them all, dude. | ||
| I've had them all. | ||
| When you broke the world record for chin-ups, didn't you rip your arm apart? | ||
| Pull-ups, yeah. | ||
| So if you pull up the picture, man, there's a picture of my hand. | ||
| You'll see. | ||
| I don't know... | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Pull-ups are... | ||
| So pull-ups are here. | ||
| Hands out. | ||
| Yeah, hands out. | ||
| And chin-ups are hands forward. | ||
| Right, hands forward. | ||
| So I fell twice before I finally got it the third time. | ||
| The first time I ripped the shit out of my forearm... | ||
| And then the second time, you'll see there's a picture of my hand, and it's a third-degree burn. | ||
| So that's my hand. | ||
| Oh, Jesus, man. | ||
| What in the fuck is going on? | ||
| Look, you got bit by a wolf. | ||
| So what's funny about that is you see that that doesn't create after one pull-up. | ||
| So if you can imagine the pain, because you have one contact point. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Like running, you can overcome it because you have these big giant legs and it's different. | ||
| When you have these little fragile punk-ass hands touching the bar, you know, imagine 4,030 pull-ups, how many times you're coming on that bar, coming off. | ||
| And I weighed 207 pounds at the time. | ||
| So I was a bigger guy. | ||
| I'm like 185 now. | ||
| So I was almost 22 pounds heavier. | ||
| So I was a lot bigger than I am right there. | ||
| You look pretty thick. | ||
| Get that shit, man. | ||
| So you were doing it in sets of five? | ||
| Sets of five. | ||
| So as you see, I have these different people who are witnessing you. | ||
| You have to have your number there to make sure that you're... | ||
| You know, qualified for the Guinness Book of World Records, that's 14, 15. I have a long way to go. | ||
| I have another 4,015 pull-ups to go right there. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| So, yeah. | ||
| And how long did you do this over? | ||
| 24 hours? | ||
| It was seven. | ||
| I broke it at 17. Wow. | ||
| And I was fucking over it. | ||
| What did it feel like on the last chin-up? | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Actually, there's a video that we have, and I was chasing this guy named Stephen Hyland. | ||
| So this guy named Stephen Highland had the record. | ||
| And the video is my last three pull-ups before I broke the record. | ||
| I'm talking so much shit to this motherfucker. | ||
| I'm like, hey, motherfucker, you thought I wasn't going to get it, huh? | ||
| I told you, bitch-ass motherfucker, I'm coming after you. | ||
| I'm here now. | ||
| It's just me talking shit. | ||
| It's a cool video, but I felt nothing. | ||
| I was just happy that I didn't have to do any more. | ||
| I did 67,000 pull-ups in nine months in training for a record for 4,000. | ||
| And the failures, so I did the first time in September, failed miserably on the day, so I did 2,588 or something like that. | ||
| Failed miserably for millions of people. | ||
| Two months later, November tried again, failed again. | ||
| Two months later in January 19th, I finally fucking got it. | ||
| So after I got it, it wasn't like I'm happy. | ||
| It was like, I ain't got to do more fucking pull-ups anymore. | ||
| Roger that. | ||
| That's all it was. | ||
| I had to fucking check that bitch off, man. | ||
| But you were doing them when I got here today. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because now it's a part of me, dude. | ||
| It's a part of me, man. | ||
| I don't like doing them, so we're going to knock some out. | ||
| You don't like doing them, so you got to do them. | ||
| That's my whole life. | ||
| Isn't it like when someone gets drunk on a certain whiskey, like if they smell it, they'll get disgusted? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like Jägermeister or something like that. | ||
| They smell it and they'll go, ugh! | ||
| Right. | ||
| Is that what it's like with you with chin-ups? | ||
| With a lot of things. | ||
| With pull-ups? | ||
| With a lot of things. | ||
| With a lot of things now, right? | ||
| I don't like running. | ||
| I don't like, and people don't believe it, but I was a big guy twice in my life. | ||
| So hence the reason why I just don't like running, man. | ||
| It hurts. | ||
| It's brutal. | ||
| It sucks going out and I'm gonna be gone for two hours or I'm gonna be gone 39 hours running on a one-mile track I'm not crazy, man. | ||
| That shit sucks. | ||
| I mean, you know, people put me in this category of, you must be some crazy guy who loves it. | ||
| No, man. | ||
| No, that's why I do it, though. | ||
| That's the only way to callous your fucking brain, man. | ||
| That's the only way to get harder in life. | ||
| People take these classes on mental toughness. | ||
| Like, even Seals, you have a class about visualization, self-talk, eat an elephant one bite at a time, breathing control. | ||
| Yeah, roger that. | ||
| You got to put yourself in a hellacious situation. | ||
| It's a lifestyle. | ||
| How are you going to react? | ||
| How are you going to react? | ||
| Like, all that training goes out the fucking door when you're in the fucking cold water and you're fucking miserable and it's the first hour of 130 hours of Hell Week and that first wave goes over your head and you're the coldest you've been in your life and your mind goes from hour 1 to hour 1 fucking 30. All that fucking self-talking shit, dude. | ||
| You ain't thinking about getting the fuck out of here. | ||
| But if you live this shit... | ||
| On a daily basis, you know how to calm your mind down. | ||
| The self-talk will help. | ||
| All that stuff will help. | ||
| But usually we react. | ||
| We have pain. | ||
| We have suffering. | ||
| We react. | ||
| And we react about, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| We gotta go. | ||
| It's those people who are able to control that fucking feeling of fucking flight and say, no, motherfucker. | ||
| There's a way through this. | ||
| It's not going to be here forever. | ||
| I'm not cold right now. | ||
| I went through three of them. | ||
| I'm not cold now. | ||
| I'm in a nice warm studio with you. | ||
| You got to think about that shit. | ||
| It's just going to end. | ||
| It's going to end, but we don't know that. | ||
| We don't think that. | ||
| At that time, it's just going to last forever. | ||
| And then you get to sit back on Friday with everybody walking across the, you know, back on the grinder, all the 16, 17, 18 guys that graduated Hell Week, and you get a chance to watch these guys victorious. | ||
| And then you get the chance to think about that. | ||
| You take that hot, warm shower, First thing that comes to your fucking mind is why the fuck did I quit? | ||
| So what keeps me going? | ||
| I've quit several things. | ||
| I know what's on the back end of fucking quitting. | ||
| It's a lifetime of thinking about why the fuck did I do that? | ||
| I ain't fucking doing that no more. | ||
| There's something about talking to a guy like you that a lot of people hope that you're gonna say some magic thing that's gonna click in their brain. | ||
| Everybody wants to change who they are. | ||
| Like, what is it? | ||
| What is the thing? | ||
| That's why people go to these self-help conferences. | ||
| And they take these classes and they hope that someone's going to say something that changes the way their mind works. | ||
| It's hilarious to me. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's kind of hilarious to me too. | ||
| But what is also hilarious is that what you're saying is... | ||
| That you have to do those things. | ||
| You have to suffer. | ||
| You have to live in it. | ||
| You have to be comfortable in it. | ||
| And then, maybe, some of that shit will help you a little bit along the way. | ||
| Period. | ||
| And I went to... | ||
| I was a... | ||
| When I was a SEAL recruiter, I got invited to MIT. Smartass motherfuckers there, man. | ||
| I'm not that. | ||
| I'm a cigar animal. | ||
| I'm a knuckle-dragger. | ||
| And, um... | ||
| There was this guy there, I forget his name, but he was like the top head guy. | ||
| Old white guy, you know, all geniused out. | ||
| And we were on this panel, and they were asking us all these questions about the mind, mental toughness and shit, and he was answering them. | ||
| And I wasn't answering them any questions. | ||
| And I'll never forget, he was just answering them off of theory. | ||
| He ain't never put his fucking ass in shit. | ||
| You read a bunch of fucking books, and you think that you know how the fucking mind works and shit. | ||
| I'd have gone through hell since a kid. | ||
| And then all the way up until now. | ||
| So I know So that theory is bullshit. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of good stuff out there you can read from people. | ||
| But I had lived hell. | ||
| And when you put yourself in hell, that's the only time you can figure out how the fuck to get through that motherfucker. | ||
| You can't read somebody else's book about some theory on how to do shit. | ||
| Some guy who sat up in their nice warm office and wrote some book with a nice cup of coffee in the fucking hand. | ||
| No. | ||
| I want to see that guy who immersed himself in fucking hell. | ||
| And he thought about quitting and leaving and his wife and his kids and why am I here? | ||
| Is it worth it? | ||
| All this crazy shit is still said and found out a way to get through it. | ||
| So basically that's the bottom line of it all. | ||
| We all want to read about how we can quickly get somewhere. | ||
| That's why there's six minute abs and all sorts of shit so powerful. | ||
| You may get some results from it, but they're not permanent. | ||
| The permanent result comes from you fucking, I say it all the time, you have to suffer. | ||
| You have to make that a tattoo on your fucking brain so when that hard time comes again, you don't forget it. | ||
| You may forget it for a second, but you can go back in the cookie jar, I call it. | ||
| It's something that we've all endured. | ||
| I call it the cookie jar, and we often forget how hard we are, but you've got to reflect back. | ||
| Take a couple seconds to reflect. | ||
| I've been through this. | ||
| I've been through that. | ||
| And then remind yourself, I'm a bad motherfucker. | ||
| And then you can get through that shit, but if you don't believe it, you haven't endured shit, you're just blowing smoke, man. | ||
| And you're not gonna get through anything. | ||
| What was this guy saying? | ||
| Like, what was his theories that he was throwing out there? | ||
| His theories was about, I forget exactly what it was, but it was something about what the mind does under stress. | ||
| And how we can't. | ||
| He said how we can't do something. | ||
| And I did it. | ||
| I did what he said we couldn't do. | ||
| Like, what was he saying he couldn't do? | ||
| It was something about if you're born a certain way, you can't become this way. | ||
| It was totally saying that who I am now, like I had to be born with some, not genetic power or some gift from God, but I had to have some kind of special gift. | ||
| Had to have some kind of special gift. | ||
| And I forget what set me off. | ||
| But it was like, we had to be... | ||
| To be somewhere, you had to be born with it. | ||
| What was the concept? | ||
| And I know what I was born with. | ||
| And I know the battle that I had in my mind. | ||
| So when he said it, I just sat there looking at my face and somebody in the crowd asked me a question. | ||
| And I totally contradicted everything he said. | ||
| And I was like, nah man, I mean I fucking know for a fact that you can be this fucked up dude Like, really fucked up dude. | ||
| And with the right mindset. | ||
| It sounds so easy. | ||
| With the right mindset. | ||
| It doesn't sound easy. | ||
| I know what you're saying. | ||
| It sounds like a simplistic answer. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You can. | ||
| You can. | ||
| But you have to go into those dark chambers that we often shut off. | ||
| And you gotta open them up. | ||
| You gotta open up and fight that fucking demon. | ||
| Get in there. | ||
| Talk to that motherfucker. | ||
| Say, what's up? | ||
| And we often take the... | ||
| We all like to take this four lane highway. | ||
| The easy highway. | ||
| It has fucking signs. | ||
| It has restaurants. | ||
| We all love that four-lane highway. | ||
| We always step over the shovel. | ||
| And all I did was I picked up that fucking shovel. | ||
| And that shovel, I made my own path. | ||
| And you may have big boulders and shit. | ||
| They may be getting 200 miles up the road faster than you. | ||
| But going through this path of life, this journey over here that you make yourself, that's incredibly difficult. | ||
| What comes out the other end of that motherfucker is some glorious shit that you can't even explain to people. | ||
| And we're afraid. | ||
| Bottom line is most of us, even the people who have all these theories and shit, it's easier to accept the fact that I'm just not good enough. | ||
| I wasn't made to do that. | ||
| And yeah, some of us can't be LeBron fucking James. | ||
| But I'll tell you right now, man, we can do a lot of shit when it comes to this pure-arm guts and willpower and getting through shit. | ||
| We have a lot more with a lot more than we think we have. | ||
| Yeah, the problem with a guy like that with his theory is that his theories are based on results. | ||
| And those results are based on human beings. | ||
| And most human beings, there's certain people that are born with certain gifts, like a guy like LeBron James, obvious physical talent. | ||
| You know, Jon Jones in MMA, obvious physical talent. | ||
| But there's... | ||
| When you look at someone who's super successful, you always assume that it has to be because of some sort of physical gifts because people look at themselves and I'm sure this doctor, this old dude, probably had like a little gut and probably had- That's exactly how he looked. | ||
| Little tiny arms and weak shoulders and probably thought, well, there's certain people that are just mesomorphic and probably broke it down all these scientific terms. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, they just have fast twitch whistle fibers and they'll say all this crazy shit that is true at the very highest levels of the winners. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But it doesn't mean that you can't become that. | ||
| No. | ||
| It just means that it's too painful for most people to go through. | ||
| So very few people ever get there. | ||
| So if you look at the actual results, he would be correct. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| But he's not correct because he doesn't take the shovel. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| Exactly. | ||
| That's the moral of the story. | ||
| There's not some easy, lit-up, street-like path with nice, smooth roads. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| It's a difficult motherfucker where you're going to fail, and you're going to be in your head. | ||
| You're going to be saying, I'm not good enough. | ||
| And it's how you get through that. | ||
| It's how you get through that on a daily basis when that thing is saying, man, I'm 43. I've done so much. | ||
| You start to become civilized. | ||
| The refrigerator gets full. | ||
| You start making money and you start... | ||
| I'm not getting cold anymore. | ||
| I'm retired. | ||
| At 40, people shouldn't be playing basketball or football or being... | ||
| You start to believe this shit. | ||
| And it becomes in your fucking mind, like, there's people who are retiring, you know, at 40-something years old, or 30-something years old. | ||
| At 43, I'm still putting 100 mile weeks, still doing thousands of pull-ups, thousands of push-ups, because I'm not allowing myself to become civilized. | ||
| The worst thing that can happen to a man is to become civilized. | ||
| You lose that fucking fight, you lose that, why the fuck am I doing this shit? | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| You ain't good, man. | ||
| You ain't never fucking arrived. | ||
| And that's just my mentality. | ||
| You may have more, but you never fucking arrived. | ||
| You want to be uncommon amongst uncommon people. | ||
| Period. | ||
| Uncommon amongst uncommon people is one of the greatest ways to put it. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Like, if you're... | ||
| Like, for me, what got me in trouble with the Navy SEALs is I wanted to be one so bad. | ||
| So bad. | ||
| I fought my ass off. | ||
| And I saw them as uncommon people. | ||
| Very uncommon. | ||
| But once you become a Navy SEAL, you're all Navy SEALs, so guess what happens? | ||
| You're fucking common again. | ||
| I wanted to be uncommon amongst uncommon people. | ||
| I wanted to be the guy, I don't care if you fucking like me, I don't care if you don't understand me, I didn't give a fuck. | ||
| Once I went through this fucking journey, this path of life, you ain't got a whole bunch of fucking guys that don't fucking like me. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| I'm a warrior. | ||
| Period. | ||
| There's a lot of guys that have been in a lot more combat than me. | ||
| A warrior is not always that. | ||
| A warrior is a motherfucker who says, hey, I'm here again today. | ||
| I'm here again tomorrow. | ||
| I'm gonna be here the next day. | ||
| I'm 50 years old. | ||
| I'm still fucking getting after it. | ||
| It's a person that puts no fucking limit on what's possible. | ||
| And that's what got me in trouble a lot. | ||
| That's why I went to ranger school as a SEAL. That's why I tried to go to Delta Force twice, you know? | ||
| I've been through all these different training programs because I was looking for... | ||
| In the military, what I saw is... | ||
| In the training, these people get their ass handed to them. | ||
| After they get out, a lot of them get civilized. | ||
| I always wanted to go back into training. | ||
| No matter where I was at, I wanted to go back to war. | ||
| And the war was in that training program where you see guys who can quit, guys who are brutal, guys who are suffering, guys who are... | ||
| As a SEAL, you don't volunteer for Ranger School. | ||
| I did. | ||
| I put in seven chips, got turned down, my eighth grade, you know, got accepted. | ||
| I went at 28, 29 years old. | ||
| And they go, why did you go? | ||
| Because I started becoming civilized. | ||
| I started becoming complacent. | ||
| I needed to get my fucking ass kicked again. | ||
| And when you go as a seal going down to, you have no rank in Ranger School. | ||
| You could be a major. | ||
| You're just fucking Joe Brown. | ||
| You're nobody. | ||
| And you're not eating, you're not sleeping, so I always would put myself, I would immerse myself in shit like that. | ||
| Even, I would climb the ladder, and I would intentionally fall back down that motherfucker to say, alright man, getting soft dude, getting soft. | ||
| Kick your fucking ass again. | ||
| You know, it's kind of the process. | ||
| Did you find resistance from that amongst other guys that didn't like that you were making them uncomfortable? | ||
| Because that is something that people, there's a natural instinct that people have when someone's working harder than them to somehow or another diminish that person. | ||
| Well, I know that a lot of guys don't like me for a lot of reasons. | ||
| And I realize that. | ||
| I am a guy that doesn't care if you like me or not. | ||
| And when you're an alpha male, and you're against other alpha males, and we eat our own. | ||
| Alpha males eat their own. | ||
| And I love that shit. | ||
| Let's fucking go, man. | ||
| I want to eat. | ||
| Hey, man, I'm all about that kind of mentality. | ||
| But I would sometimes take it to another level. | ||
| I wasn't part of a good old boy network. | ||
| I wanted to be David fucking Goggins. | ||
| For too long in my life, and it got me in trouble. | ||
| For too long in my life, I wanted to be accepted. | ||
| Growing up, I lied. | ||
| I fucking did what I could. | ||
| If you fucking like UFC and I didn't, I love it. | ||
| I love it, man. | ||
| Let's go fucking watch it, man. | ||
| Be my friend. | ||
| Be my buddy. | ||
| That fucking weak-ass shit. | ||
| I found out through this path of life, who is David Goggins? | ||
| Who am I? I did it alone. | ||
| There was no fucking trophy on the fucking wall, on the mantle. | ||
| That trophy's in my fucking brain. | ||
| No one helped me get there. | ||
| Nobody paid my fucking bills. | ||
| No one did shit for me. | ||
| No one ran those fucking miles, lost that fucking weight. | ||
| I suffered on my own and developed this man who said, that's who I am, man. | ||
| A very competitive, ultra-competitive dude that, take it what you want, man. | ||
| I call that personal sovereignty. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| There's not a lot of people that have that. | ||
| That's me. | ||
| There's a lot of people that change who they are depending upon what people want from them. | ||
| And that's me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's important, man. | ||
| And most people struggle their whole life to find out who they are. | ||
| Struggle their whole life to find out what defines them, what they actually enjoy and what they don't. | ||
| You start putting yourself in situations that suck, you'll find yourself. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You'll find it real quick. | ||
| That is the thing, right? | ||
| And that's one of the things that I've gotten from paying attention to you, is that what you're preaching, what you're talking about, is finding yourself through struggle. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| It's the only way to find yourself. | ||
| You don't find yourself, if you like bench pressing, and you bench press all the fucking time, what are you finding out? | ||
| If you like to swim, that's all you want to do is swim, what are you finding out? | ||
| People talk about triple down on your fucking strengths. | ||
| That's the fucking weakest shit in the world. | ||
| No. | ||
| Triple down on your fucking weaknesses. | ||
| Find out something about yourself. | ||
| You already know the good shit. | ||
| You already know the happy shit. | ||
| That's why on my Facebook page it goes, why don't you talk about good times? | ||
| You know how to get through that shit, motherfucker. | ||
| You don't need no one to tell you how to get through. | ||
| It's happy. | ||
| That's easy shit. | ||
| I'm going to tell you how you can help yourself get through the times that suck. | ||
| Real life. | ||
| This is real life. | ||
| 90% of your life will suck. | ||
| 10% will be fucking happy. | ||
| You may be lucky guy and have a lot of fucking money, have a great ass woman, all this shit. | ||
| Trust me. | ||
| One on one with that fucking guy, he's missing something. | ||
| His life still sucks because he hasn't faced something that bothered him his whole fucking life. | ||
| Something is still eating that motherfucker up. | ||
| Almost everybody. | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| Eating you the fuck up. | ||
| But maybe you found a good way, how I did growing up, on how to ignore that voice that's saying, you ain't facing some shit. | ||
| Period, man. | ||
| I'm not special. | ||
| I just stop listening. | ||
| I listen to that voice. | ||
| This is why I talk so fucking aggressive. | ||
| People say, man, do you believe in God? | ||
| You cuss so much. | ||
| When I say fuck, it's letting you know what I'm thinking. | ||
| If I try to make it all pretty and shit, that's not what my life was. | ||
| It was a violent, violent struggle daily to get where I'm at today. | ||
| I'm not gonna water it down. | ||
| I'm not gonna water it down. | ||
| Shit wasn't fun. | ||
| It ain't fun today. | ||
| But I'm happy. | ||
| Don't you think that your happiness is probably elevated by The amount of pain that you've gone through 100% so the amount of suffering that you understand the amount of pain that you've gone through Makes you appreciate the happiness and the beautiful moments with much more intensity. | ||
| That's what weak people miss about my story Weak people hear this soft kid. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| He must be miserable. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| What the hell is wrong with him? | ||
| You're missing the fucking story You're not listening to the story man Look what I overcame. | ||
| If that doesn't put some badge of honor tattooed in your fucking brain for the rest of your life that you can die today talking to Joe Rogan, you're missing the story, man. | ||
| Am I happy? | ||
| What the fuck do you think? | ||
| Don't misunderstand the passion in which I speak for not being intensely happy. | ||
| Happiest person in the world. | ||
| But I'm not done. | ||
| So I'm not going to speak to you like, oh man, everything is great. | ||
| No, I have a lot more shit to do. | ||
| A lot more shit to do. | ||
| Well, this is, in the same use of the word that you used, the warrior's mentality, the warrior's life. | ||
| Right. | ||
| This is the way that you can keep balanced and sane and keep... | ||
| A good grip on who you are. | ||
| Period. | ||
| And like there's a quote that was said, I don't know who said it, but it was a great quote. | ||
| This guy said, going into combat, going into war, out of the hundred men that go into war, ten shouldn't even fucking be there. | ||
| Eighty of them are just targets. | ||
| Ten do most, or nine do most of fighting. | ||
| One is a warrior. | ||
| And it's a true quote to life. | ||
| I saw it going through training. | ||
| I saw it everywhere I went. | ||
| There's so many people who just show up to life that shouldn't even fucking be around. | ||
| And there's a few people who do all the work. | ||
| I wanted to be part of that nine, and I'm working towards being that one. | ||
| And that's just how I live my life. | ||
| Now, what are you doing with your life these days? | ||
| Right now, I keep the same. | ||
| I'm very routine. | ||
| I get up every morning. | ||
| I run. | ||
| I go to the gym. | ||
| And then at nighttime, I stretch out. | ||
| I am just trying to develop a business. | ||
| Costing me a lot of money trying to do that. | ||
| I'm just getting out. | ||
| I'm an introvert. | ||
| So, I never want to get on social media. | ||
| I'm not big on that. | ||
| I'm big on being with yourself. | ||
| I believe all these... | ||
| Fucking cameras and phones and shit. | ||
| It takes you away from the most powerful thing in the world, which is your fucking mind. | ||
| So I try hard to continue to grow that. | ||
| I'm trying to break a record again. | ||
| I'm trying to cross Death Valley as fast as possible, top of Mount Whitney. | ||
| And I'm constantly trying to put goals in front of me, but the biggest thing is I'm trying to find more of myself. | ||
| And the only way I can find more is to silence the world out as much as I can because it's getting busier every day. | ||
| It's getting faster. | ||
| And the faster it gets, the more you are missing who the fuck you are. | ||
| So I trap my own mind a lot and say, look, man, I put my phone away, I put shit away, and I go dark. | ||
| I go dark a lot, and it's because I have to find out. | ||
| I'm on a journey of life, and we all have a different journey. | ||
| And I want to be in my fucking pine box, and I believe your spirit lives forever. | ||
| It has to. | ||
| It's too fucking powerful. | ||
| No way in hell that thing just dies when you die. | ||
| I want to be able to look back on my life when I'm all dead and be so fucking proud of myself forever. | ||
| This is all temporary shit to me. | ||
| I want to be forever proud of who I was as a man and change who I used to be. | ||
| The liar, the insecure guy, the guy who can, whatever. | ||
| I want to be proud. | ||
| If I die now, if I die at 80, if I die at 90, 100, I want to look at myself and say, proud of myself. | ||
| Don't you think that also, like what we're saying, that because you've gone through so much struggle, you appreciate happiness, true happiness? | ||
| Do you think that you appreciate discipline because you weren't disciplined? | ||
| Do you think you appreciate the hard work you put in because you used to be weak? | ||
| Yes, I appreciate self-discipline. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I never had, and the crazy thing about what, you know, you say that, I didn't have a motherfucker come wake me up at 3 o'clock in the fucking morning and say, hey, you gotta get your shit in. | ||
| I had no trainer. | ||
| I didn't have a nutritionist. | ||
| It was the self-discipline that I had to survive. | ||
| Not survive. | ||
| I was weak. | ||
| To thrive. | ||
| No one said, hey man, you're 297 pounds, man. | ||
| I want to help you out. | ||
| Hey man, you're not smart. | ||
| I'm gonna help you out. | ||
| I had to work at all this shit. | ||
| I had to overcome, and it self-disciplines everything. | ||
| If you don't have it, I don't look at you right, because I know you're capable of more. | ||
| It's not discipline so much for me. | ||
| It's all on you. | ||
| It's all on you. | ||
| The self part is what's big. | ||
| We need someone to hold people accountable. | ||
| Fuck that shit, man. | ||
| Fuck that shit. | ||
| We count on people too much to get us through shit. | ||
| And we look to our right, we look to our left, we're looking for help. | ||
| And if you can build that self, you can build that total accountability in one's self. | ||
| And it's not about being selfish. | ||
| I'm trying to create a better me so hopefully people who are hearing this or taking it the right way can say, I can run a mile. | ||
| Ain't about running 205 fucking miles, doing four, being a city. | ||
| Ain't about all that shit. | ||
| Shit doesn't matter. | ||
| I want you to see how fucking far you can go. | ||
| And that's all it's about. | ||
| Yourself. | ||
| And that's where it all comes from. | ||
| Well, listen, I guarantee you've already done that. | ||
| What you experienced from watching that television show and what got you out the door, what got you to sort of take the first steps to change your life, what you experienced by watching Rocky, those moments of inspiration, those are critical for people. | ||
| They need to know that someone's done something, that someone's done something that's greater than what they could imagine themselves doing, and they want to take a Step towards trying to be better that that that inspiration is gigantic and sometimes it comes across as corny You know people read it too much of it online it becomes It drowns out you lose that the meaning gets lost I mean there's and there's a lot of posers There's a lot of people are out there that are they're pretending that they're trying to offer up inspiration or a true | ||
| honest account of their experiences but really what they're trying to do is say something that's gonna get likes and Right. | ||
| You know, they're trying to say things that they think people are going to go, yeah, double high five. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, there's a thing that people are doing where they're just trying to just get social cred. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's what social media is, man. | ||
| I'm going to paint you the picture of my fake life. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| I paint you a picture of my fucking real life. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Period. | ||
| Like it or not, man. | ||
| But that real life is fuel for people. | ||
| It's fuel for me. | ||
| I mean, I love that shit. | ||
| I live off of it. | ||
| There's a lot of people that I follow online, and you're one of them, that I can get something out of that. | ||
| I could watch a short clip of you talking. | ||
| I'm sure clips of this podcast, people are going to play these clips and go for fucking crazy runs afterwards. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Well, I hope so. | ||
| Fuck yeah, they're gonna. | ||
| You don't even have to hope. | ||
| It's gonna happen. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| What is this business you're doing? | ||
| Well, it's my own. | ||
| Goggins, LLC. Basically, I'm invested in myself. | ||
| I'm invested in myself, and I hope that this story can change somebody's life. | ||
| Not to be me, because it ain't about me. | ||
| I try to be as real as I can, because we're all fucking suffering in this world. | ||
| We're all hurting. | ||
| And I try to... | ||
| Take away all titles you want to give me and let you know that I did not come from that shit. | ||
| That's why I have to be so authentic and so real about my own insecurities, my own faults, just being a fucked up person. | ||
| I'm not the best at anything. | ||
| I'm not gifted. | ||
| I'm just driven. | ||
| And it's all about trying to share that message with people. | ||
| This is all about, you know, I speak to a lot of people. | ||
| And that's what I do now. | ||
| And how are you doing it as a business? | ||
| I do some motivational speaking. | ||
| But, you know, right now, I'm not really trying to make a lot of fucking money. | ||
| I'm just trying to build a brand as authentic as possible. | ||
| Because I don't want to build it too fast. | ||
| Because my biggest fear in life is people can read right through a motherfucker that's not real. | ||
| I do it all the time. | ||
| Like, a lot of people have these great quotes and they mass-produce. | ||
| I can't mass-produce something, man. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they have these great quotes and shit, but are you living that, motherfucker? | ||
| What you just quoted, and how powerful it may sound, are you getting up every fucking morning? | ||
| I'm not working out, whatever. | ||
| Are you really getting the fuck after? | ||
| Are you just talking to motivate people? | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I don't want to be that guy. | ||
| Or are you talking to pretend that you're really getting after it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| And a lot of people make this big money over here on the side, which I haven't made a lot. | ||
| And they talk this shit. | ||
| And they're all this and it's gone. | ||
| They're not authentic at all, man. | ||
| It's all this shit. | ||
| And I read it and I'm like, man, this guy ain't bullshit. | ||
| Bullshit, man. | ||
| Fucking wake up, get after it, live what you're saying. | ||
| And then it comes, people can see. | ||
| When I talk, the reason I talk so fucking just passionate, because I'm reliving my fucking life. | ||
| I'm reliving this morning when I got up. | ||
| I didn't want to do that shit. | ||
| I'm reliving everything I did and I can't speak to you like all calm and shit. | ||
| Shit sucks. | ||
| It sucks, man. | ||
| So whenever I start talking about like after this podcast, you'll see man. | ||
| God, you're so calm right now. | ||
| What the fuck is wrong with you? | ||
| I'm not going back through that shit, man. | ||
| I'm not going back through the suffering and shit that it took to become who I am today. | ||
| So I'm slowly trying to build this brand to the point where I can slowly hopefully make people from motivated to driven because motivation is crap. | ||
| It's shit. | ||
| People right now, maybe listen to this shit, they'll be motivated to go run. | ||
| If it's cold somewhere where they're at, a lot of motherfuckers will shut that door and go back inside. | ||
| That's motivation. | ||
| It comes and go as how you feel. | ||
| If you and your wife are good, if you and your kids are good, if you're good at work, you're motivated. | ||
| I like a motherfucker whose life is imploded. | ||
| Ain't got shit in life and says, I still gotta fucking get after it today, man. | ||
| That's what it's about. | ||
| So that's when you move from motivation to driven to obsessed. | ||
| And I want people to realize, once you get to this person over here, the driven and obsessed part, you're unstoppable. | ||
| This commitment that you have to authenticity is one of the reasons why people are connected to what your message is. | ||
| That's one of the reasons why what you're saying, you don't want to grow it too fast. | ||
| You don't want it to be bullshit. | ||
| You're terrified of that thing, just like we were talking about with weak people. | ||
| You're terrified of seeing that weakness in yourself. | ||
| We all see that. | ||
| We've all seen motivational things that are bullshit. | ||
| We've all talked to people that are talking, and you realize there's nothing really... | ||
| That they're not really connected to their words. | ||
| Their words are just a bunch of words they've pieced together because they sound like something that someone who's enlightened on the subject would say. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, it doesn't connect at all. | ||
| So your struggle now is to try to figure out how to stay you and get the message out, but still be fully connected to that message. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it's not so much a struggle, because I'm not really about... | ||
| I'm not driven by the business. | ||
| I'm not driven by trying to be... | ||
| I make a very small salary from being retired from the military. | ||
| That's all I need. | ||
| So I'm not fast to... | ||
| I'm a minimalist motherfucker. | ||
| Give me a backpack a fucking ground to sleep on and a pull-up bar and a fucking some running shoes and a subway sandwich or some shit and I'm fucking straight. | ||
| So it's um I believe in patience. | ||
| I'm a patient dude. | ||
| I can watch the piece of grass grow for 20 years because I know that this is how you get somewhere in life by being that monk-like mentality And being able to watch something grow very calmly, patiently. | ||
| And that's all I'm doing right now. | ||
| It's not about money. | ||
| It's not about people knowing me. | ||
| I don't care if you like me. | ||
| Whoever wants to hear this, it's out there. | ||
| It's out there. | ||
| So your goal is to grow this? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Slowly. | ||
| Very slowly. | ||
| And your goal is to grow this in order to impact people? | ||
| Period. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| It's not about me. | ||
| What do you get out of impacting people? | ||
| It's a good question. | ||
| I don't get anything out of it. | ||
| I'm a tool. | ||
| But you must get something. | ||
| There must be personal satisfaction. | ||
| There must be a connection to those people. | ||
| It must be enriching to you. | ||
| It's hard to connect with people because there's quite a few now that are coming in. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's my duty. | ||
| It's my duty to share. | ||
| It's kind of like somebody who discovered a new earth, you know, and discovered the people in the water source and the food source. | ||
| I discovered a whole other part of your fucking brain that a lot of people don't even know about. | ||
| It's my job by being on this journey and being a discovery person and being the person that maybe I didn't discover this part. | ||
| I discovered a very important part that I haven't met many people that have discovered this part. | ||
| I'm sure there's a lot out there. | ||
| But it's my job now to take these weak people in the category that I was in and say, uh-uh. | ||
| Stop reading the bullshit. | ||
| Stop listening to the bullshit. | ||
| And if my story of success can impact somebody, it is my job, it's my duty to share the story. | ||
| As much as I'm not really fond of it, I'm the kind of guy that wants to sit in the fucking room and just be me. | ||
| Just be me, alone, by myself. | ||
| It's who I am. | ||
| But I have to get uncomfortable and tell people all this shit. | ||
| You think it feels good to tell people about it. | ||
| I had a fourth grade reading level in high school. | ||
| I stuttered. | ||
| I lied to people to be their fucking friends. | ||
| It doesn't feel good. | ||
| It doesn't feel good at all. | ||
| But maybe somebody's doing the same shit. | ||
| And maybe they can realize, wow, that motherfucker was a piece of shit. | ||
| And he fucking now is a Navy SEAL retired guy and runs these miles and was 297 pounds and pathetic fucker. | ||
| And wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And people say, why are you talking? | |
| It's the fucking truth. | ||
| I was a fucking pathetic motherfucker, man. | ||
| People cannot say that to themselves. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We have to choose these great fucking magical words that make people feel good. | |
| Tell yourself the truth. | ||
| If someone calls you fucking fat, they may be bullying you, but you might be fucking fat. | ||
| If someone calls you dumb, it's mean, but you might be fucking dumb. | ||
| It's life, man. | ||
| Take it for what it's worth and change it. | ||
| And that terrible feeling when someone does tell you that you're fat, you can use that as fuel. | ||
| As fuel. | ||
| Period. | ||
| And that's all this is about. | ||
| And where it goes, if it goes somewhere and whatever, you know, I don't give a shit. | ||
| Well, you said something that I think of when I run. | ||
| And it's that most people quit at 40%. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's my 40% rule, man. | ||
| I love that quote. | ||
| That's my 40% rule, man. | ||
| And I really developed that through my heart surgeries and I developed that through that first 100-mile run. | ||
| I thought I had given 100%. | ||
| When I was on that chair at mile 70, I was fucked up. | ||
| I thought I'd give it 100%. | ||
| And to go that last, I go, man, I wasn't even near 100%. | ||
| So I came up with this thing called the 40% rule. | ||
| It's basically where you... | ||
| It's like a car. | ||
| You put a governor on a car. | ||
| And they say the car can go 130. That governor stops the car at 91. And you're driving thinking, man, I want to fucking floor it, but I can't go any faster. | ||
| We do that to our brain. | ||
| We put a governor in our brain. | ||
| The second we feel pain, discomfort, suffering, all those words that we hate to say because we have this happy, peaceful world we live in now, we stop. | ||
| We slow down. | ||
| And if you can get through these different barriers and gain 5%, 2%, 3%, that 40% becomes 60. That 60% becomes 70, 80, and 90. And then you'll hopefully one day near 100. I don't know many people who probably add 100. I mean, we think we're there, but there's so much more. | ||
| Isn't 100 a death's door, though? | ||
| I love that. | ||
| I think it's true. | ||
| I think that's 100% true. | ||
| I think when you were laying in a tub, you had knocked on the door. | ||
| That is 100% true. | ||
| That is 100% true. | ||
| I didn't give 100% in that 101 mile run I did for the first time. | ||
| So that's the scary thing. | ||
| That's the scariest thing in the world. | ||
| I didn't die. | ||
| You probably gave 99.99999 and got out of there with your life. | ||
| I guarantee it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I guarantee it. | |
| Man, dude, I don't know how to end this any better than that. | ||
| So let's just wrap this up. | ||
| If people want to find your stuff, what's the best place to go and look for it? | ||
| I'm just at David Goggins, man. | ||
| Social media, on Instagram, Facebook. | ||
| I don't tweet that much stuff out because I write messages. | ||
| And I always link on Twitter to my Facebook and Instagram, but it's just at David Goggins. | ||
| It was an honor and a privilege, brother. | ||
| Thank you very much, man. | ||
| I really, really appreciate it. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Dave and Goggins, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Go after it, you motherfuckers! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on! |
Export Selection