Aug. 30, 2016 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:23:55
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| I can't be wearing a headset. | ||
| No. | ||
| You're going to wear your hat. | ||
| It looks weird. | ||
| Well, it looks weird. | ||
| There's only one headset. | ||
| Are we live? | ||
|
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Live? | |
| We're fucking live, man. | ||
| What's going on, brother? | ||
| Chilling. | ||
| Look at you. | ||
| Look at me. | ||
| Filling up tanks. | ||
| Budweiser. | ||
| Cheers. | ||
| We cannot have a podcast with Cowboy. | ||
| Without America here. | ||
| America. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Starting off a good one. | ||
| So, tell me about the tanks. | ||
| You sent me a picture today. | ||
| I had a little time, Mikael, didn't I? Yeah. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| I'm going diving to Catalina. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Home of the sharks. | ||
| Home of the Makos, right? | ||
| The Mako, yeah. | ||
| I was watching a TV show the other day where people were fishing for them out there. | ||
| So we got filled up a couple doubles. | ||
| My buddy Rob from Always Sunny Philadelphia taking me this weekend camping. | ||
| So they're going diving, but they all dive singles. | ||
| So I like to go deeper, longer. | ||
| What singles? | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| Like a single tank, an aluminum 80. Oh, single tank. | ||
| Single tank, yeah. | ||
| So me and my girl... | ||
| We're diving doubles, which everyone says doubles means double trouble, but whatever. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| Like, how deep can you go with a double? | ||
| You can go as deep until you run out of air, but we'll probably go in the 200 range, 220 to... | ||
| 200 feet down. | ||
| 200 feet down. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| That's one of those weird ones where when you come up, you've got to come up slow, right? | ||
| Or you get the bends. | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| You get the bends, yeah. | ||
| It's decompressing, you know. | ||
| The process to diving, and I've been diving seriously, like a lot of rec diving and a lot of tech, you should say, diving over the last two years, man. | ||
| I ran into some guys in Las Vegas, Buddy Trav, and he... | ||
| Kind of schooled me on their way of diving. | ||
| I love it, man. | ||
| The reason I go to Las Vegas and dive Lake Mead all the time is because I dive with guys. | ||
| They dive 200-300 feet every day, every week. | ||
| Getting around the people that dive it regularly and know their shit is to teach me the way. | ||
| Thanks, Trav. | ||
| I appreciate you showing me the light, brother. | ||
| Now, when you come up, how do you know when you're going down 200 feet? | ||
| It's all an algorithm. | ||
| It's all in your dive computers. | ||
| So you plan, plan, plan, plan, plan, then you recheck. | ||
| And Lindsay, she does the same thing. | ||
| We check each other's work and make sure all our gases are mapped out for how long. | ||
| Let's just say we're going to go 150 feet for... | ||
| There's a cool ship down there we want to check out. | ||
| We want to be there for 35 minutes, right? | ||
| So I put the algorithm in these apps in our computer, or we write it all out, and it'll tell us exactly how long of a bottom time we can have, the stops that we have to make, and the gases that we have to switch to decompress the amount of nitrogen in our blood and make our way to the surface. | ||
| What's the science behind it? | ||
| Like, why does nitrogen get in your blood? | ||
| So, because from... | ||
| Earth's surface to the atmosphere is one atmosphere, right? | ||
| Every 33 feet is another atmosphere. | ||
| So every time we go down 33 feet, we add another atmosphere with that much more pressure. | ||
| So right now you're breathing 21%, oxygen 78%, a little bit of like argon and other shit in the natural air, right? | ||
| A lot of nitrogen too. | ||
| Yeah, so 78% of the air you're breathing right now is nitrogen. | ||
| Right. | ||
| 21% is oxygen. | ||
| Most people don't know that. | ||
| They think that you're just breathing oxygen. | ||
| No, you're only breathing 21% oxygen. | ||
| But you off-gas it through your tissues because there's no pressure on you. | ||
| Right now you're taking a breath, and then you breathe out, and the nitrogen just off-gases. | ||
| Well, as soon as we start going onto the water, the amount of pressure holds that into our system. | ||
| We can't off-gas it, so it turns into a liquid and goes into our blood, which is what the bends is, is where the guys would be working, and then they just come up, because they didn't know. | ||
| No one knew until you know, right? | ||
| I mean, we didn't know there wasn't a moon god until all of a sudden we know now. | ||
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Right? | |
| I know what you're saying. | ||
| Yeah, so you force the liquid back into a gas by coming up fast, which goes into your joints and causes the bends. | ||
| It makes you bend over and hurt your back. | ||
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That's what they call it, the bend, because the guys are like, oh, fuck, I'm fucked up, right? | |
| And that shit can kill you, right? | ||
| Well, yeah, well, you can aneurysm in your brain, blood clot, you know, all kinds of crazy, kill you instantly. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| So, 150 feet, all of a sudden, 25 minutes is up. | ||
| Now we're going to start our ascent. | ||
| And our computer says, all right, at 70 feet, we've got to do a minute. | ||
| At 60 feet, we've got to do two minutes. | ||
| We're going to switch gases. | ||
| Now we're going to switch to 50% oxygen. | ||
| So increase the amount of oxygen to which decreases the amount of nitrogen that we're breathing. | ||
| So we're going to speed the off-gassing process because we're coming up. | ||
| So the pressure is coming off as our body is able to off-gas it. | ||
| So you just have to do like stages and it's all through an algorithm and the Navy dive system. | ||
| Been through years, hundreds of millions of dives, you know, figuring out the timetables of the correct amount of time. | ||
| You have to be at each depth to off-gas the amount of nitrogen in your body is built up. | ||
| And then when you go deeper than that, you start adding in a tri-mix. | ||
| We add helium in. | ||
| Helium? | ||
| Helium, yes. | ||
| We add helium into the mix. | ||
| And yeah, man, it's so fun. | ||
| But the fear of, you know, could I die? | ||
| Yeah, hell yeah. | ||
| That's why I love it. | ||
| Fucking crazy. | ||
| Fucking love it. | ||
| And we were talking earlier about sharks. | ||
| I swim after the sharks. | ||
| Like, I want to get them on the GoPro. | ||
| They're, like, swimming away from me. | ||
| Sharks don't... | ||
| They don't just eat divers. | ||
| They don't just swim along a fucking great white gum and attack you. | ||
| They're, like, scared of you, man. | ||
| You're, like, a big black... | ||
| Breathing out fucking bubbles and shiny, you know? | ||
| So they want nothing to do with you, and I'm always trying to chase them down. | ||
| So most of the shark attacks are like surfers, right? | ||
| Because they think it's a seal. | ||
| Yeah, seal up top. | ||
| And where would you rather... | ||
| We were just watching before you got here some footage of the shark attacks on YouTube. | ||
| Where would you rather be? | ||
| I'd rather fight the fucking shark under the water. | ||
| Yeah, I'd rather be under. | ||
| Under instead of on top. | ||
| Is this the video I posted yesterday? | ||
| Yeah, of the shark gnawing on the cage. | ||
| Fuck this. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Fuck everything about this. | ||
| This is insane. | ||
| This great white shark is trying to get these people. | ||
| He's biting this cage, trying to get what's inside. | ||
| So what do you do? | ||
| You just grab his dorsal fin and go for a ride, baby. | ||
| He can't bite you behind him. | ||
| Rides back. | ||
| Mata liao. | ||
| Have you seen a great white underwater? | ||
| I never have, no. | ||
| I've never, I haven't been down, you know, in the waters where they're at, you know, Australia and stuff like that. | ||
| So, no, I never, I've never seen a great white. | ||
| I've seen plenty of hammerheads and, you know, Mako and, but never like a giant great white. | ||
| Hammerheads are so bizarre. | ||
| They look like an avatar creature. | ||
| They don't even look real. | ||
| Like, why are their eyeballs way out there like that? | ||
| I feel like I've been with a couple of hammerhead women, you know? | ||
| Like, what are them titties doing, honey? | ||
| Get them, pick them up. | ||
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Pick them up. | |
| That's when a girl with an A cup tries to go straight D right away. | ||
| It can't be done. | ||
| And they lay next to her on the bed. | ||
| It's defying science. | ||
| You've got an evil Knievel Canyon in between your titties. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| So I love diving. | ||
| I've got a great dive partner, my girl Lindsay. | ||
| And that's the biggest thing, having the companionship and trust of someone with your life, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Carrying all the tanks. | ||
| She'll be diving. | ||
| She'll have a pair of doubles on her back and two tanks in her arms. | ||
| She'll have four tanks. | ||
| Under the water. | ||
| I heard spear fishing is the shit. | ||
| I love it, yeah. | ||
| You do that? | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| Only if I'm going to eat it. | ||
| I'm just kill to kill, but yeah. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So, yeah, absolutely. | ||
| Because it's like hunting, but fishing. | ||
| Yeah, it's a lot easier than you think. | ||
| They don't know what the fuck's going on. | ||
| They have no idea what's going on. | ||
| Yeah, they don't know about spears. | ||
| They don't even know what you are. | ||
| You're like, what the fuck? | ||
| Oh, fucking got him. | ||
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So, you know, so... | |
| No, is it attached to a rope? | ||
| Yeah, it's attached to like a fishing line. | ||
| You can shoot it. | ||
| It depends if you're using a gun or they have like slings that go in your arm and you can shoot them like a little... | ||
| Like Spider-Man? | ||
| Yeah, not so much. | ||
| Just a little like a slingshot type thing you put on your wrist and let go of it. | ||
| Ah, wow. | ||
| But the spirit guns will go far and they have like a little reel you can reel it in on. | ||
| Like how far? | ||
| 50 feet? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 100 feet? | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| And they slow down considerably, though, right? | ||
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Oh, of course. | |
| After the first few feet? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
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Wow. | |
| They'll be right on it. | ||
| And your depth perception is so different underwater, so you've got to aim above them. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| The refraction. | ||
| Yeah, that's the same when you're shooting down. | ||
| Yeah, bow hunting. | ||
| Yeah, they bow fish in the water. | ||
| You've got to aim six inches under where you think it's going to be. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Bizarre. | ||
| Now, when you're diving, how long have you been doing this, first of all? | ||
| Well, I got certified in high school. | ||
| High school? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Damn, so you've been doing this for a long time. | ||
| Yeah, but that was just like going 30, 40 feet, recreational diving, you know, going to see some stupid, I shouldn't say stupid, but that's like the recreation thing to do is go see a reef, but I think one reef looks like every reef. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| So I kind of got over that. | ||
| Like I said, I met with these guys and doing the shit that only 5% of the world do. | ||
| You know, my goal is to go 500 feet. | ||
| So I've been just shy of 300. And yeah, there's just a lot of planning and crazy shit that goes involved. | ||
| I mean, you're dead pretty much. | ||
| Anything goes wrong. | ||
| How long does it take you to get up from 300? | ||
| From 300, it's about a 50-minute deco time back up to the surface. | ||
| 5-0? | ||
| Yeah, so it's about a three-hour dive completely. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Now, if something goes wrong, like if your cord gets cut when you're down there... | ||
| There's no cord, but... | ||
| Well, if you're bleeding oxygen... | ||
| Right, you shut one off and go to your... | ||
| So you always carry enough gas. | ||
| No one's ever died because you have too much gas, right? | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| So you carry it with you. | ||
| So a lot of the mixtures we bring with us, like my bat gas will just be regular, either tri-mixed gas or regular air, and then I'll have a 36% oxygen, which is to about 100 feet. | ||
| So if anything were to go around my bat gas, I could haul ass to 100 feet and then start my deco, you know, and really, there's like protocol and all kinds of different, plus, I'm diving with a buddy, which would be you. | ||
| And you have all the gas on you, too. | ||
| So you would be, you know, arms like the wave, some shit went down. | ||
| Oh, so I could give you my gas? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
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Oh, wow. | |
| Give you a regulator intake. | ||
| You have one that hangs on your neck and one that you're using, right? | ||
| So you'd give me yours and put yours in and we'd figure it out. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| But if you were nowhere to be found, like if I was off screwing off and doing something I shouldn't be, which I'm fucking 99% doing... | ||
| Then I gotta rely on myself. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| But you can't talk. | ||
| Can't talk. | ||
| You have to say... | ||
| So me and Lindsey were in Florida, diving the Spiegel Grove, which is a giant, like, huge ship in the Key West. | ||
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And... | |
| What kind of ship is it? | ||
| I don't know if the Spiegel Grove is the aircraft carrier or if that's the Vandy. | ||
| I'm getting confused. | ||
| But one's like a giant aircraft carrier and one's like a destroyer. | ||
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Oh, wow. | |
| Shoot, 500 feet. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| They're natural reefs, so the government sunk them, cut a bunch of holes in them for idiots like me to go swim through them. | ||
| Oh, they sunk them on purpose. | ||
| Oh, yeah, so take all the fluids out of them they sink them and they make them artificial reefs Wow And so they do this because they decommission the ship, but I don't know what to do with them So so this is a good move yes, make it let's put let's let fish and in wild wildlife hangout. | ||
| And then they make money off guys like me, like, hey, let's go fucking explore this thing. | ||
| You have to pay to go there? | ||
| No, you just pay for the gas. | ||
| But the thriving boat captain that needs to feed his family charges you $180 to take you out with the GPS and tell you good luck. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So, me and Lindsay are out there. | ||
| Well, of course, I'm seeing cool shit because I'm down in the engine room fucking doing whatever I want. | ||
| She gets tangled up. | ||
| And has like a freak out episode and then I come back like what the fuck you like like gave her like where you been and she's like motherfucker like all mad at me was all caught up in the things I had a when we got up whoa back up to the surface I got my ass tore up I was like, well, you made it. | ||
| You're good. | ||
| All the practice we did. | ||
| Walk it off. | ||
| Walk it off. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| Have you ever gone, like, on treasure hunting dives? | ||
| No. | ||
| I mean, so, first of all, I need to live near the ocean, which I don't. | ||
| And second, I need to know someone who has a boat. | ||
| And, you know, you hear stories, like, all these boat captains know of all the good fishing. | ||
| Because where the good fishing is, usually there's a structure down there, right? | ||
| So that's how you, like, run it. | ||
| You find like a boat captain and know like a Structure that's not on anyone's GPS then maybe you could dive down there and check it out But you need usually those are 250 300 feet So you need some guys that you trust that fucking go deep with you. | ||
| Yeah, so but now I have it I'd love to that'd be something that I'd fucking love to do. | ||
| I was watching this show I don't remember what ocean they were pulling the the wreck from but these guys were Professional treasure hunters and they found some insane amount of gold like some some Roman ship that sank could you imagine? | ||
| Yeah, and they were trying to figure out who gets the gold and who claims Yeah, me. | ||
| That's who it'd be. | ||
| But it'd be fucking go time. | ||
| But you have to be, like, really careful about, like, giving out the location because then other treasure hunters would find it. | ||
| Like, there's a big business in that shit. | ||
| Well, so, like, let's just say me and you go treasure hunting and the captain takes the spot. | ||
| We find it. | ||
| We jump down. | ||
| All of a sudden, we find all this gold and this treasure. | ||
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Right. | |
| We only have enough gas for, who knows, 20 minutes down there? | ||
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Right. | |
| So we gotta come back up. | ||
| We couldn't even bring the fucking gold this trip if we wanted to. | ||
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Right. | |
| So now we're back in the boat. | ||
| You know, I know, the boat captain knows who else is with us. | ||
| So now we gotta figure out who do we tell. | ||
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Right. | |
| And do we tell this boat captain, oh, you're coming with us for the next, until we figure this shit out, because I'm not gonna let you go, tell whoever you, yeah, so. | ||
| Yeah, man, I think it's really, really tricky. | ||
| You have to kill the captain. | ||
| You would have to. | ||
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You'd have to. | |
| Do you know how to use a GPS? Yeah, I mean, I think nowadays you just press the button, right? | ||
| Drop a pin, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, you'd have to drop a pin, and then you'd have to kill that guy and drop him where the pin is. | ||
| Or don't kill him. | ||
| You gotta cut him in. | ||
| He's gotta get a third. | ||
| Something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or it depends on... | ||
| Yeah, how much money you're talking about. | ||
| But then is it fair that he gets a third for... | ||
| Oh, you're talking probably millions of dollars. | ||
| Yeah, but if you don't give him a third, he's gonna fuck you. | ||
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He's gonna rat. | |
| He's gonna fuck you. | ||
| Yeah, you have to give him a third. | ||
| Because you gotta think, if he didn't take you there, you'd have never got it. | ||
| And it's a shitload of money. | ||
| It's free. | ||
| So if he says half, then what do you do? | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| Then you kick his ass. | ||
| Like, you don't let him get half. | ||
| You gotta be generous, but if he tries to fuck you on your generosity, that's when you kill him. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| How many people have probably been killed over shipwrecks and treasure? | ||
| Pirates? | ||
| Pirate shit? | ||
| Yeah, that goes back. | ||
| A lot. | ||
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Yeah. | |
| Fuck. | ||
| Think about those shitty ass wooden boats. | ||
| How many of those fucking things must have crashed? | ||
| Plus those greedy bitches, they loaded them up with gold, tried to make it across the ocean. | ||
| Yeah, plus if I was a pirate, I'd be known when you're loading yours up and I'd just go fucking take yours over and take all... | ||
| So now I got all my shit plus all your shit. | ||
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Right. | |
| Plus, we found another one on the way, so now I'm tripled up. | ||
| Big, heavy boat. | ||
| Well, this documentary that I was watching, this guy who was doing it, it was a professional treasure hunter. | ||
| That's what he does. | ||
| And, you know, he has to get investors involved because it costs hundreds of thousands of dollars to make millions of dollars treasure hunting, and then you've got to be able to find them. | ||
| A lot of them are apparently around Florida. | ||
| Sure well that's so like Key West there's so many like wrecked ships because that was like the port you know that was the so yeah I could only I mean I went to it they have like a wrecked ship museum and I went there and talked to all the guys in there and they were saying that man there's thousands and thousands of boats that are all because that's the port where they would do all the trading thousands wow it's a whole nother fucking world down there man it really is just like the Little Mermaid it's a whole new world A whole new world! | ||
| Look, I have kids, man. | ||
| I've heard that fucking song. | ||
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Oh yeah, we all have. | |
| We were just at the Seattle Aquarium, and I was looking at these octopuses. | ||
| They had this octopus exhibit, and they were doing this thing on octopuses where this lady was explaining they have three hearts. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| And to see them move underwater is fucking... | ||
| If you're a screwdriver, and you haven't done a night dive because it's a whole other world at night, Like the, what are the, when you move, the luminescence, it's crazy. | ||
| You can move underwater and everything glows. | ||
| The octopus, how fast they change colors and move. | ||
| So when you move underwater, you glow? | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| If you shut all your lights off and you just like move your arms and draw, you could write Joe. | ||
| And you just spell it out in the... | ||
| So cool. | ||
| Why is that? | ||
| Why can you see it? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| I think the shrimp... | ||
| Phytoplankton. | ||
| I've seen this in Puerto Rico. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Here you go. | ||
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Look at this. | |
| Look at this. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| I mean, that might be a little bit digitally fixed, but... | ||
| It's fucking cool. | ||
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Wow. | |
| So what area of the world is this stuff in? | ||
| Well, we do it in Cozumel whenever I go down to Mexico. | ||
| So I'm sure it's... | ||
| Yeah, they have it in Puerto Rico. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| I've seen it. | ||
| It's unbelievable. | ||
| So you go down there, shut your lights up, and you can just play in the water and kick up and make... | ||
| They just glow. | ||
| Write your name. | ||
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Wow. | |
| That's like space shit. | ||
| It is space shit. | ||
| And then you have these crazy octopuses that can change colors. | ||
| I don't even know how many different colors they can change, but you just see them fucking crawling all across the ground. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
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Cool. | |
| Wow. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That is so bizarre. | ||
| And these thousands of ships, one day they're going to figure out technology to go and find those things. | ||
| They're going to be able to locate all of them. | ||
| But right now, what percentage? | ||
| Well, they're wooden, so they're rotting away. | ||
| I mean, there's not much left of them, right? | ||
| The metal ships are the only thing. | ||
| I've done one wooden and it was shit. | ||
| It was like all falling apart, you know? | ||
| Yeah, they don't find much, but what's left is like the pottery and the gold and the coins and things along those lines. | ||
| They find some certain metal things. | ||
| But like swords, swords rot away. | ||
| Or not to mention dead bodies. | ||
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Yeah. | |
| I mean, if you're finding a ship that no one's ever seen... | ||
| Dr. Cook, right? | ||
| Yeah, you find some fucking dead body type shit. | ||
| Some haunted shit. | ||
| Yeah, talk about putting your heartbeat through the roof, opening a hatch and just seeing a skeleton head fall on your lap. | ||
| Did you ever see that boat that they found that was adrift and there was a dude who had turned into, essentially he had turned into a mummy. | ||
| He had been mummified by the sea air and dried out, slumped over the table. | ||
| Like he had a table in the galley and he slumped over the table and he's dead. | ||
| There he is. | ||
| That's how they found that, dude. | ||
| Well, because I feel like that's the same movement anyone's gonna do when you're on your last leg, when you're in a boat. | ||
| That's like, I'm fuckin' sick, and that's the move you're gonna do. | ||
| It says, Mummy found on boat missing since 2009. Fuck. | ||
| And there he is. | ||
| One leg out. | ||
| One leg out posted. | ||
| He's like, I guess this is it. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| I wonder if another person would've made it. | ||
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I wonder if he was a pussy. | |
| I wonder if he gave out. | ||
| He got tired of fishing. | ||
| I can't do it. | ||
| It's the fresh water that would get you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm sure you could eat, catch fish. | ||
| It would be the water that would get you. | ||
| How long can you drink your piss? | ||
| I personally know I could go a week without water from my cuts to 155, so I know I could do a week. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that'd be... | ||
| After that, I'm on my deathbed. | ||
| Yeah, dude, let's talk about that. | ||
| Don't do that anymore. | ||
| Don't do that anymore, man. | ||
| I know you keep talking about, like, fighting Eddie Alvarez because you already beat him and now he's the champ, but god damn you're looking good at 170. Yeah, but so... | ||
| You're saying I didn't look good at 55. You looked sensational at 55. I went 9 for 10. But at 170, you're a fucking world beater, man. | ||
| It's not just that you look good. | ||
| It's just the way you look. | ||
| It's like you hit a whole new level. | ||
| And I always wonder, like, is it because obviously you keep training, obviously you keep getting better, obviously you work hard. | ||
| All those things, learning from experience, all those things are a factor. | ||
| But on top of that, there's also the factor of you not having to cut that fucking weight. | ||
| Man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So, this last fight... | |
| Against Rick Story. | ||
| Against Rick Story. | ||
| Well, it looked like you were in the fucking Matrix. | ||
| That was some Anderson Silva shit. | ||
| I ate five guys three nights that we were in Vegas. | ||
| Five guys burgers? | ||
| Hamburgers. | ||
| Good man. | ||
| Double doubles. | ||
| I'm a big fan of those. | ||
| So am I. Do you get jalapenos on those? | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Yeah, you get the jalapeno. | ||
| Get the seasoned fries? | ||
| Of course. | ||
| See? | ||
| You're all healthy. | ||
| My trainers are happy. | ||
| I think I had six pounds to cut. | ||
| It was easy. | ||
| No-brainer. | ||
| When I saw you before the fight before that, you were a 176 when you were at the Comedy Store. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's nothing. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look how good you look at this weight. | ||
| I feel good. | ||
| For damn sure. | ||
| But isn't that a factor? | ||
| I mean, look how fast you are. | ||
| Like the Cote fight. | ||
| Dude, you were on fire. | ||
| You're on fire at that weight. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| What's the thought process? | ||
| I don't have one. | ||
| You can do 155, right? | ||
| You can do it. | ||
| You have done it. | ||
| I wish it was like 60 or 65. If it was 65 weight class, that'd be Cowboys weight class. | ||
| But it's just that last five pounds is death for me. | ||
| It's fucking brutal, you know? | ||
| From 60 to 55, I just feel like I got nothing left, man. | ||
| I don't know if that carries over. | ||
| Like, I want to ask... | ||
| You see, Pettis looked a little tired, didn't he, in his last fight? | ||
| I don't know if the 45 cut, if that has something to do with it. | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| If it takes a little bit of your gas tank a little bit. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| It has to. | ||
| It has to. | ||
| I feel great out there. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| But I fucking love fighting, man. | ||
| It's my favorite thing in the whole world to do. | ||
| Like, in the whole world. | ||
| Like, I wish a motherfucker when I leave here pulls up in the parking lot and tries to give him shit. | ||
| Like, that to me is like, you know? | ||
| And this is the craziest thing to me. | ||
| People tell me, like, I post pictures of me flipping people off, right? | ||
| So they're like, cowboy, you're a fucking role model. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| Like, no, I'm not. | ||
| I'm a bar junkie that fights all the time, and it's now on TV, and you think it's cool, so I'm your favorite fire, you know? | ||
| But had you not been in the UFC, I'd be the asshole trying to take your girlfriend and fight you at the bar, just so you know. | ||
| That's who I would be. | ||
| Just so you know! | ||
| Just so you know. | ||
| You say that, but you're a very nice guy. | ||
| I've seen you out there in public, and part of it is because you're dealing with people that are fans, and they come up to you, they're nice. | ||
| I'm just saying I love fighting, man. | ||
| Well, you love it also because you're really good at it. | ||
| I mean, if you kept getting your ass kicked, you'd be like, man, I've got to find some other shit to do in my life. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| When I was in high school and figuring out who I was, I got my ass kicked a lot. | ||
| Because I was that guy. | ||
| It didn't ever take much for me to jump, you know? | ||
| And I'd strike, and then I'd get my fucking ass mopped by three dudes, two dudes, one didn't matter. | ||
| I'd just get beat up. | ||
| And that's what got you into MMA? Yeah. | ||
| No, I started off kickboxing. | ||
| A buddy of mine just told me, you think you're tough, come try this kickboxing shit. | ||
| And I went down and fell in love with it. | ||
| Where'd you train? | ||
| Where's the first place you trained? | ||
| Commerce City Rec Center in Commerce City, Denver. | ||
| It was this rec center that offered taekwondo Tuesdays and Thursday nights. | ||
| And I'd go in there and we'd spar. | ||
| And sparring is all I did. | ||
| That's what I used to do. | ||
| I thought that was getting ready for a fight would just be fucking throwing down. | ||
| Now I don't spar at all, and all I do is drill, because drilling is the most important thing you do, right? | ||
| But that's all I do is spar. | ||
| So you don't spar at all, man? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, hell no. | |
| That's really interesting. | ||
| No, and I tell my training partners and everyone that try to get me to spar, but now they're okay with me just drilling. | ||
| But I feel like... | ||
| The little guy at the Walmart check-in clicking. | ||
| Every time you take a hit in your head, he pushes the button. | ||
| How many people go into Walmart before it's full? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| How many more do I got? | ||
| I think that's a very good point. | ||
| How many epic fucking brawls do me and Leonard Garcia have in the training room? | ||
| I don't know! | ||
| Right. | ||
| So, like, I'll get in there and move around with Andre and move around with all the heavyweights. | ||
| Like, light. | ||
| MMA sparring, you know? | ||
| Heavy takedowns and grappling. | ||
| Real light striking, you know? | ||
| But the days of putting the big gloves on and throwing down, hell no. | ||
| I just did it with Joe Schilling the other day, so I can't really say hell no. | ||
| But him and I had a good tempo and it wasn't anything crazy, you know? | ||
| I watched videos of you guys sparring. | ||
| It seemed very controlled. | ||
| Very controlled. | ||
| So that, if I'm sparring with someone that's very controlled and doesn't try and kill me, cool. | ||
| But Man, going in with some of those guys that are trying to make a name at the gym just want to crank you. | ||
| Then I gotta fuck them up. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Now we're fighting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a funny contradiction. | ||
| It's like, I love to fight, but I don't want to spar. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I love to fight, but I don't want to get hit anymore. | ||
| Is there any way we could do that? | ||
| These beers say America on them. | ||
| They say America. | ||
| That's the new thing. | ||
| Is this the new thing that Budweiser does? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| America. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| How do you not buy those if you see those at the store? | ||
| I don't know, and I don't know how people... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a good move. | |
| What if Coors comes along and goes, America, fuck yeah. | ||
| We don't even talk about Coors. | ||
| We talk about ice-cold, refreshing Budweiser. | ||
| That's what we do. | ||
| Oh, that's it? | ||
| That's what we talk about. | ||
| Oh, just because they're your sponsor? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like Onnit. | ||
| We don't talk about Muscle Farm products. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We just talk about... | |
| We take Onnit. | ||
| We don't talk about Muscle Farm products. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| I'm the least competitive, competitive guy ever. | ||
| I hear it. | ||
| I hear it. | ||
| I'm a supporter. | ||
| So yeah, I love fighting, man. | ||
| I mean, to my soul. | ||
| I like the fact that you don't spar. | ||
| I think that's very wise. | ||
| Now, when you're doing drills, explain to me how you're doing them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Are you setting everything up from a striking standpoint where you work in combinations and then counters those combinations and then possibilities of all the different things that could happen? | ||
| Yes, I'm working with Brandon Gibson now, you know, he's a fucking great tacticianer, man. | ||
| Big fan of that guy. | ||
| Yeah, he breaks the... | ||
| So, I don't ever watch tape, and people think that's so crazy, but I don't... | ||
| I just don't, but they do. | ||
| So, my coaches do. | ||
| So, he'll come, and he'll be like, we're working this because I think this is what Story's gonna do, you know? | ||
| We knew he was gonna come with big overhands and the knees to the body were gonna be there. | ||
| So, everything we drill is, you know, when he does this, just make it reactionary, you know? | ||
| And... | ||
| I feel like that's all good and great, but the good thing is I know how to fucking fight, like, deep down in my soul. | ||
| So if everything, all that doesn't work, I can just fucking bite down and give her. | ||
| Yeah, well, you know, Jeremy Stephens had a very similar sentiment. | ||
| He said, I already know how to fight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he goes, it's all about just getting prepared, working on my cardio, working on my fitness, working on my drills and my techniques. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't ever take days off. | ||
| Today, of course, I'm drinking beer with you, but for the most part, I train probably five days a week. | ||
| And a lot of people think that all I do is fuck off. | ||
| He just drinks beer and parties. | ||
| No, I just don't post pictures of me training because I fucking hate that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I hate... | |
| I see everyone else's photos. | ||
| Them in the gym. | ||
| Six posts a day of them working. | ||
| No one gives a fuck. | ||
| You swim, you strength conditioning, you... | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| So I just do cool shit and throw that on Instagram, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
But... | |
| I train all the time. | ||
| It's like my job. | ||
| People always think I'm out there fucking off, but I take this very serious and I train hard. | ||
| There's no way you could be as good as you are without... | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I have a gym in my backyard. | ||
| So some days I'll go play at the lake all day, but we come home and then we train and my coach is like, fuck, now it's 2 a.m. | ||
| and we have to train. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| When did you make the decision to stop sparring? | ||
| Probably four fights ago. | ||
| Four fights ago? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| After which fight? | ||
| After I got my ass whipped by Alvarez, or by... | ||
| Dos Anjos? | ||
| Dos Anjos. | ||
| Yeah, I didn't spar that camp much at all, but I don't know. | ||
| I talked to Aubrey, and you, and that's how I got hooked up with Onnit, man. | ||
| I started thinking something was fucked up with my brain. | ||
| So I start brushing my teeth one morning, and I fall over and I hit the wall. | ||
| Like, I literally fell over and hit my shoulder on my wall, and I was like, what the fuck? | ||
| And I closed one eye, and I fell over and hit the other wall, and I was like, oh, man. | ||
| Something's wrong. | ||
| Something's seriously wrong with my brain. | ||
| And I start freaking out. | ||
| So I go get a CAT scan. | ||
| I go get an MRI. And I'm convinced that I'm concussed and that I've taken too many shots and I'm It's because... | ||
| Let me back the story up a little bit. | ||
| Why I think this is because my buddy Scott Parker, he's the enforcer for the Colorado Avalanches, he can no longer take... | ||
| He has a problem with his brainstem. | ||
| He took too many punches. | ||
| If he takes one more, it's going to kill him, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
So... | |
| I'm, like, talking to him about this, and now he's, like, got it in my mind that I had the same thing. | ||
| Like, I'm thinking, like, I fall over, like, literally fall over, hit the wall. | ||
| I'm like, oh, fuck, something's really fucked up with me. | ||
| Anyways, I go get all these tests, go see an ear, nose, and throat doctor, and it turns out my septum's so deviated that I have, like, a sinus infection, and that it can't drain because my septum's deviated, so I have, like, this serious infection in my... | ||
| Left cheek. | ||
| And I had to get on medication to get it cleared up. | ||
| But that's why it fucked my equilibrium up. | ||
| So it was getting in your ear? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're all connected, right? | ||
| Yeah, the infection somehow threw my... | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| I know how to put this... | ||
| I still have to do it every day. | ||
| I've got to put this thing in my nose and it blows like a nasal spray. | ||
| You should get your shit fixed. | ||
| God, I need to. | ||
| I got mine fixed. | ||
| But then I had to stop fighting for a little while. | ||
| Nah, not that long. | ||
| Not that long, man. | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| It turns out I'm not mentally retarded. | ||
| I have an infection that I got cleared up, which is what I contacted you and I told Aubrey about and the CMT oils and the MCT oils and the alpha brain and started trying to, because this is the point where I thought I was fucking freaking out, right? | ||
| Well, you started taking care of your health and supplementing it. | ||
| And now I feel fucking great, man. | ||
| Yeah, there's a big difference between supplementing and not supplementing. | ||
| And I've never, I've never taken anything. | ||
| I just never, everyone always, I was literally Budweiser and Fruit Roll-Ups, you know? | ||
| I know, we talked about it. | ||
| And now I fucking take these Onnit packs day and night, sometimes two a day. | ||
| I feel fucking, you know what I feel like? | ||
| A fucking cage gorilla that's 15 year old. | ||
| And I don't know if it has testosterone or not, but I feel like a... | ||
| Like, my poor girl, she's ravaged now. | ||
| Like, I feel like an uncaged beast, man. | ||
| I'm sure she's happy. | ||
| Yeah, she's very happy. | ||
| So, you know, and I don't... | ||
| I don't know if it's because it just equaled out my body or... | ||
| Or what? | ||
| But man, I feel it. | ||
| My recovery time is great. | ||
| And I'm not here just pumping on it, you know? | ||
| I'm like, I'm serious. | ||
| I've never taken supplements and I feel so fucking good. | ||
| And right when I walked out, I said, hey man, you got any alpha brain here I can fucking pop, you know? | ||
| And so... | ||
| Are we out? | ||
| Do we have some? | ||
| There's out. | ||
| Damn it. | ||
| I must have some in my bag. | ||
| So yeah, it's unbelievable, man, how good I feel and how you don't know till you know, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, that's the key, man. | ||
| The key is a lot of people walk around and they don't take anything and they think they don't need anything. | ||
| And they're like, ah, I'm fine. | ||
| Well, you're fine. | ||
| You'll exist. | ||
| But there's a big difference between having your body optimized and not being optimized. | ||
| Healthy food, you gotta get off the candy, son. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I don't fucking eat candy anymore. | ||
| Ever since I've been taking these pills, it's like it filled a void. | ||
| Literally. | ||
| I don't crave the sweets like I used to. | ||
| It's unbelievable, man. | ||
| I can honestly say I've ditched the candy. | ||
| I'll eat a Snickers bar every now and then, but I don't take handfuls of milk duds and Skittles like I used to every day. | ||
| I bet a lot of that is probiotics. | ||
| I used to crash, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I feel like that's why I'd eat the candy to try and like... | ||
| Come back up. | ||
| Come back up, but... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| Are you taking probiotics now? | ||
| Everything. | ||
| The gut. | ||
| Total gut health? | ||
| Total gut health. | ||
| That's big because your gut health determines a lot of times what you crave. | ||
| And one of the things that people find is when they get off sugar and they get off gluten and they get off simple carbohydrates, breads and pastas and stuff like that. | ||
| What part of that makes me crave the pussy? | ||
| Is that the... | ||
| That's natural. | ||
| Oh, natural. | ||
| That's your body going, I'm a cowboy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm a cowboy. | |
| I'm here to fuck. | ||
| I'm a cowboy. | ||
| Not unequaled out? | ||
| Okay, I got you. | ||
| The same part that makes you want to fight makes you want to fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gotcha. | |
| It's a part of the whole gorilla DNA. Alright. | ||
| Are you taking T-plus? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That optimizes your hormones. | ||
| That's a big one. | ||
| There's alpha brain, which one of the good things about alpha brain is mental fatigue. | ||
| One of the things that helps you in your workouts is, a lot of times, physical fatigue is one factor, but mental fatigue is a factor, too. | ||
| When you step up, even if your body's tired, If your mind feels good, you could force your body to go through the motions. | ||
| You could force your body to do it because your mind still feels energetic. | ||
| But when my mind feels shitty, like for me, the hardest workouts by far are when I'm hungover. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because my mind is tired. | ||
| It's not even like my body can't lift the weight. | ||
| It's like my body's like, oh, okay, we'll do it. | ||
| But my mind is like, I can't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can't. | |
| I can't muster it. | ||
| So alpha brain post-drinking is fantastic. | ||
| It's one of the best things for hangovers because a lot of things that are going on, you're dehydrated, that's a big factor, but also like all your electrolytes are all fucked up and all your neurotransmitter levels are all fucked up. | ||
| You could jack those back up with alpha brain and new mood. | ||
| New mood's a big one too because it brings up your serotonin levels, 5-HTP. That comes in the night pack for sleeping, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Perfect. | ||
| And I tell people, oh, you're trying to sell off me. | ||
| Listen to me. | ||
| Please don't buy it. | ||
| Please don't buy it. | ||
| Find out what the ingredients are. | ||
| Go buy your own shit. | ||
| Go buy it. | ||
| The best form you can buy. | ||
| That's the most important thing. | ||
| Buy the purest, best version of it you can find. | ||
| Use all those things. | ||
| Use choline. | ||
| Use all these different ingredients you're going to find in AlphaBrain and all the different ingredients you're going to find in New Mood. | ||
| You're going to have results. | ||
| But if you want to get it made for you in the best possible form, that's what we sell. | ||
| That's what we're trying to do on it. | ||
| Everything that I use, everything that Aubrey uses, everything that all the pro athletes use, guys like you use, we just find that. | ||
| What's the best shit? | ||
| What's the best shit? | ||
| I literally feel the best I've felt in my life. | ||
| I don't know if it has to do with solely taking on it or just reinventing myself, man. | ||
| You gotta sometimes just fucking step back and reset and figure out what works for you, right? | ||
| That's big. | ||
| Real big. | ||
| And it took a lady, Francesca Parker, Scott's wife, to set me down and fucking tell me, cowboy, what's the bad in your life? | ||
| We gotta get the energy vampires off you, and you gotta hone in and figure out what works for you again, man. | ||
| And I did, and I feel fucking great, man. | ||
| Has Aubrey taken you into the room in his house for the launching into space? | ||
| No. | ||
| The psychedelic journey room? | ||
| No. | ||
| Are you ready for that? | ||
| I'm ready for that. | ||
| Are you ready for that? | ||
| I'm ready for that. | ||
| I'm ready for that, too. | ||
| I need to do it this year. | ||
| I'm about a year off. | ||
| I've done it. | ||
| I did it about a year ago. | ||
| I'm feeling like right about now I'm ready to get back in there. | ||
| Let's do it together. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| Let's hook up with Aubrey and we'll figure out a time. | ||
| We've got to go meet the overlords. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| I'm telling you, man. | ||
| All the shit that you say is crazy, I believe it's crazy, but it ain't crazy like DMT is crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| DMT is some next level crazy. | ||
| So you're telling us, let's go do some drugs and hang out. | ||
| I'm telling you... | ||
| Is this USADA approved? | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Perfect. | |
| It is. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Well, you can't test for it. | ||
| All right. | ||
| And it exists in your own brain. | ||
| It's like testing you for saliva. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Literally, it's like testing you for blood. | ||
| I'm in. | ||
| Cowboy test positive for red platelets. | ||
| I'm in. | ||
| Yeah, we're gonna get in there. | ||
| I'm totally in it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| We're going deep. | ||
| So you feel like DMT, or what is the tea that people take, where we get the shaman and you go and you drink the... | ||
| Oh, ayahuasca. | ||
| Ayahuasca. | ||
| That's DMT, too. | ||
| I mean, I feel like if we just ate a fucking handful of mushrooms, we could have the same psychedelic trip. | ||
| DMT is mushrooms times a million plus aliens. | ||
| Huh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know if... | |
| That's the way I describe it. | ||
| I've done mushrooms and mushrooms are awesome. | ||
| You gotta take a shitload of mushrooms and you have an amazing trip. | ||
| But there's something about DMT that just blows all the other ones out of the water. | ||
| It's the most potent of all psychedelics. | ||
| The most transcendent of all psychedelics. | ||
| See, I feel like you're a black belt in psychedelics. | ||
| I'm a... | ||
| My first day white belt. | ||
| Doesn't matter, man. | ||
| You can do it. | ||
| Everybody can do it. | ||
| I'm sure I can do it. | ||
| You go from a white belt to a black belt literally in your first class. | ||
| You go, oh, shit. | ||
| And you come back. | ||
| And by the way, you're never really a black belt. | ||
| Even when you do it. | ||
| I've done it, I don't know how many times now. | ||
| But every time I do it, I'm like, oh, fuck. | ||
| Here I go. | ||
| I get nervous. | ||
| I'm white knuckling. | ||
| Before you take that first hit of the pipe, you go, okay. | ||
| It just takes one. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| Three hits. | ||
| Three hits. | ||
| Three hits is what I recommend. | ||
| Big, deep one. | ||
| Blow it out. | ||
| Going again. | ||
| I can't limp in. | ||
| I can't just do one. | ||
| You don't want to get to the door. | ||
| You don't want to get to the door. | ||
| It's like, you know, you play Ding Dong Ditch, ring someone's doorbell and run away. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| You gotta open up the door and you gotta get in the house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All in. | |
| I gotta go all in. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Now, does it make you shit yourself? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Like the tea? | ||
| The problem with the tea is that your body rejects all... | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what I'm saying. | |
| Everyone says that you're purging the bad energy. | ||
| That's why I said no. | ||
| That's my argument. | ||
| No, you're just throwing up and shitting yourself because you have to shit. | ||
| You shouldn't have ate the Del Taco before you fucking took it. | ||
| Well, you definitely are supposed to alter your diet. | ||
| You're definitely supposed to have an alkaline-based diet before you do it. | ||
| I mean, that should be a sense that you're going to fucking blow your backside out because you're like, you need a fast before you come into this. | ||
| Yeah, that's not you purging out bad energy. | ||
| That's you fucking purging out just the shit you ate. | ||
| Well, this is like hippy-dippy, new-age way of talking where people go, oh, it's the toxins. | ||
| You're getting rid of the toxins. | ||
| The toxins, like, they do that in yoga all the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When you're in this position, this position releases toxins. | |
| It clears your body of all the emotions. | ||
| No, you're stretching. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| I'm with you. | ||
| You're not purging. | ||
| You're sweating. | ||
| If you're sweating, your body's getting rid of some fluid. | ||
| There's definitely a cleansing process involved in that. | ||
| There's no fucking toxins. | ||
| Like, come on. | ||
| Stop with the toxins. | ||
| You're throwing up. | ||
| At least we're on the same page. | ||
| Let's just do drugs and have fun. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Ayahuasca is DMT, but what it is, it's an orally active version of DMT. I'll give you the quick breakdown. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Your body produces, your gut produces something called monoamine oxidase. | ||
| And what it is, is it breaks down DMT. So if you eat like grass, like there's certain types of grasses and lettuce and a bunch of different plants, like thousands of different plants have DMT in them. | ||
| But you don't trip when you eat them. | ||
| The reason why is because your stomach produces something called monoamine oxidase. | ||
| Well, these indigenous people in the Amazon, they've figured out how to combine one plant, which has DMT in it, and then another plant, which has an MAO inhibitor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So this MAO inhibitor inhibits your body's production of monoamine oxidase, and so the DMT naturally absorbs in your body. | ||
| But you're eating these fucked up plants that taste like shit. | ||
| They taste like a toad's dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And you're just throwing up and shitting yourself. | ||
| It's supposed to be an incredible spiritual experience. | ||
| I haven't done it. | ||
| I've only done the way stronger version of it, which you smoke, which doesn't give you any throwing up, any diarrhea. | ||
| Which sounds way better. | ||
| It's way better. | ||
| It's gotta be. | ||
| I think the other one's really amazing too, but the thing about the DMT thing, they call it the businessman's trip, is you're in and out in 15 minutes. | ||
| It's perfect. | ||
| How do you feel after? | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| So you're not hungover? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's one of the most transient drugs ever observed in the human body. | ||
| Your body brings you back to baseline really quickly. | ||
| So you're high as a fucking... | ||
| You're in the center of the universe. | ||
| Yeah, literally. | ||
| You're talking to... | ||
| Geometric patterns that are made out of love and understanding and know everything about everything you've ever done your whole life and Recognize your bullshit and dissolve your ego right in front of you show you your life and in like these Hieroglyphs and show you these insane images that are made out of like neon with no borders And then 15 minutes later your cowboy again But you're renewed. | ||
| It's like resetting your whole experience on this planet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm in. | |
| I'm in. | ||
| You sold me. | ||
| It's going to be good for you. | ||
| See how good you explained that? | ||
| I wish I could explain my diving that good because I was just like, ah, you fucking go in and breathe some other gas and... | ||
| I think you did a great job. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| I think you did a great job explaining it. | ||
| But I think there's a bunch of factors going on. | ||
| I think with your life, all the good things that are happening, I think first of all, a decision to go to 170 is a very good one. | ||
| I think the number one problem we have in fighting today, the number one problem is weight cutting. | ||
| Yeah, I'm fucking with you, man. | ||
| The whole time I was at 55, I'd always, you know how I like to fight, so I'd call, hey, a 170 pounder fell out, I'll take that fight. | ||
| You know what Joe and Daniel would tell me? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Calbi, you're at 55, those guys are fucking monsters. | ||
| I guess they were wrong, weren't they? | ||
| She called me. | ||
| I would have told you to do it. | ||
| No offense, but you don't have the fucking stamp that gave me the fight. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I need to get a stamp. | ||
| So, now I'm at 70, and I want to fight at 55, and they say, no, you're fucking so great at 70, you don't want to go down to 55. God damn it. | ||
| Will you guys make up your fucking mind, what I can do? | ||
| You can't listen to those dudes. | ||
| Only listen to me. | ||
| I'll go through you. | ||
| I'll be your manager from now on. | ||
| I'm going to handle you. | ||
| Contact me. | ||
| I'll contact them. | ||
| I'm speaking for Cowboy. | ||
| Bam, done. | ||
| Hey man, when I walked in, I seen you had a Wheeler album out front. | ||
| Wheeler Walker, that's my man. | ||
| So I was getting ready in the locker room, and I was kicking ass and eating pussy. | ||
| And it starts off jamming. | ||
| And we get there kind of, you know, a little bit earlier. | ||
| And so we still had all the, I think I had six people in my locker room. | ||
| And I have like a big ass speaker, like a big jukebox. | ||
| And I just take over. | ||
| Like, everyone good with country? | ||
| Okay, good. | ||
| I've seen you already wins. | ||
| So I start playing. | ||
| And then when I start warming up, that's what I throw on. | ||
| And motherfuckers, people were like, okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Well, how about when it goes to sucking dick and kicking ass? | ||
| Yeah, I noticed that when I walked in. | ||
| I was like, oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah, he's a buddy of mine. | ||
| I love that dude. | ||
| He's hilarious. | ||
| He's fucking hilarious. | ||
| Have you ever seen the video for that song? | ||
| No. | ||
| The video for that song is hilarious because they did it at this real country western thing, and the people in the audience had no idea he was going to be there, and they had no idea what he did, and so they played it for these regular country music people. | ||
| We could play it because Wheeler's a buddy of mine, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sure we could play shit. | |
| Can they hear this right here now? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Here's the video. | ||
| Let's watch the video. | ||
| Put your headphones on. | ||
| Do I stop this one? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
| Hit it. | ||
| Stop mine. | ||
| You put yours on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Friday night. | |
| Because he did an acoustic version of it. | ||
| Such a jerk. | ||
| Now this is me warming up and everyone's like, Look at these people! | ||
| Look at these people in the audience. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They have no idea. | |
| This is the same people in the training room with me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're like, what the fuck is Calvin listening to? | |
| Look at the way they're looking at him! | ||
| What I do... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pussy in the morning. | |
| Pussy in the night. | ||
| There's a lot of pussy that I get into a fight. | ||
| See? | ||
| It's a hit. | ||
| That's a fucking hit, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| For you, it's a perfect song, too. | ||
| It's perfect. | ||
| I loved it, yeah. | ||
| And it was just funny, everyone in the changing room was like, what the fuck? | ||
| It was good, man. | ||
| It was awesome. | ||
| I think the UFC and MMA in general should make a concerted effort to stop weight cutting. | ||
| Just stop it. | ||
| Stop it dead. | ||
| Say no more. | ||
| And just eliminate it completely. | ||
| And I think it can be done. | ||
| I think it can be done if you have just set up good fights between guys that are the same size. | ||
| I think this whole obsession with championship belts and all this stuff is all great and everything. | ||
| Here's a perfect example. | ||
| Conor and Nate Diaz. | ||
| Biggest fucking fight in the history of the sport. | ||
| No belt on the line. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Just throwing down. | ||
| Nobody gave a fuck. | ||
| Nobody said, where's the gold? | ||
| Where's the strap? | ||
| Where's the leather? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nobody gave a fuck. | |
| So you feel like UFC's going more towards big fights than in his championship fights? | ||
| I hope that's what they do. | ||
| I hope so too. | ||
| I hope they just take the guys who people want to see. | ||
| Can you announce that fight? | ||
| That fight that you were talking about? | ||
| No. | ||
| No? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn it. | |
| I can't. | ||
| It's not 100% yet, but it's going to be fucking good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, there's a fight brewing, ladies and gentlemen. | |
| There's a fight brewing. | ||
| And it's a good one. | ||
| Hopefully today we get the double thumbs up. | ||
| I mean, I sent last night. | ||
| Last night we got the half thumb. | ||
| Well, you got a half thumb. | ||
| You already have a pose down, a photo of the two of you guys together. | ||
| Holy shit, that's going to be a good fight. | ||
| And that could potentially be Madison Square Garden? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, that's what I'm fucking. | ||
| They didn't put me on 200, and they fucked me on that, but I really wanted to be on Madison Square Garden, man. | ||
| The 200 was great. | ||
| But 202 was better, I think. | ||
| Yes, it was better. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was. | |
| 200 was great because it was a celebration, but 202 was a better card. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Well, the Brock Lesnar thing was kind of a freak show. | ||
| Like, holy shit, Brock Lesnar's back, and Amanda Nunes and Misha Tate was a hell of a fight. | ||
| Amanda Nunes is no joke, son. | ||
| No joke. | ||
| There's some next-level women out there now, man. | ||
| There are. | ||
| That Valentina Shevchenko chick, holy shit. | ||
| Holly Holm, and there's just so many high-level chicks now, and fucking Joanna Jacek is just a straight-up assassin. | ||
| Yeah, I trained with her a little bit of muscle form. | ||
| She came and visited. | ||
| It was fun. | ||
| She's a badass bitch. | ||
| Oh yeah, she is. | ||
| All due respect. | ||
| All due respect. | ||
| You have to say that now. | ||
| All due respect. | ||
| Do you know how many phone calls I got before I came on here? | ||
| There should be an advisory sticker on this for... | ||
| What words I can and cannot say. | ||
| Well, who said that to you? | ||
| People? | ||
| Well, I had, you know, some people from the PR team at UFC and then my management team. | ||
| So, I have a tendency to say bad words. | ||
| Isn't that hilarious? | ||
| It is. | ||
| It is. | ||
| And I don't mean it in a derogatory or... | ||
| That's just how I talk, you know? | ||
| Well, you should talk how you talk. | ||
| I'm telling you, cowboy, I gotta be your fucking manager. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| There's all these suits in the way of the freedom. | ||
| It's the sponsors, man. | ||
| The sponsors. | ||
| I need another beer. | ||
| I'm getting worked up. | ||
| It's the sponsors, man. | ||
| They can't take it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They can't... | |
| Well, they need to take it. | ||
| That's what I think, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Goddammit. | |
| What the fuck do they think you're popular for? | ||
| They think you're popular for wearing a bow tie and talking about... | ||
| For being wide open, right? | ||
| Hey, man, why were I... Look at this. | ||
| This is my... | ||
| Colorado Springs Fire Department. | ||
| My dad's captain of the fire department. | ||
| I was just down there. | ||
| They sent some shirts for you. | ||
| Oh, beautiful. | ||
| Yeah, they're listening. | ||
| They're like your biggest fucking fans, man. | ||
| Oh, awesome, man. | ||
| I'll wear these. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck you. | |
| So they wanted you to have those. | ||
| Come bearing gifts. | ||
| So Station 12, thank you. | ||
| Appreciate it. | ||
| I like it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Awesome. | |
| I'll wear those. | ||
| Right on. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Yeah, no worries. | ||
| I was just over there. | ||
| Everyone I fucking talk to loves you, man, so I just give you a shout out, man. | ||
| I love them, too. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| They say how much you've changed their life, just talking about diet, talking about good times, and, you know, so... | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| It's good to know you can... | ||
| Oh, more beer. | ||
| Look at you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes, sir. | |
| Look at us. | ||
| We're crushing them. | ||
| We're about to be talking about some good shit here in a little bit. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| We're gonna get to the point where fuck the PR team. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's sick. | |
| Who the fuck are they, man? | ||
| Are you hiring? | ||
| Are you hiring? | ||
| Good. | ||
| The UFC's got to be in a weird position with this show, because they know we talk, like, if you watched the last one with me and Eddie Bravo, Eddie Bravo was so fucking drunk, he barely knew what he was talking about 15 seconds ago, and he was going on about how he doesn't believe the rovers on Mars are real, he doesn't know why the water sticks to the Earth, because the Earth is round, why doesn't the water just roll off the Earth? | ||
| How do you know that the Earth is spinning? | ||
| It just got so bizarre. | ||
| They can't worry about that though, man. | ||
| Everybody worries about you being you. | ||
| People like someone who is actually themselves because it's so fucking rare today. | ||
| And I feel like I've been myself the whole journey. | ||
| And that's to my grandma's credit. | ||
| She always tells me, don't fucking paint yourself in the corner no matter what you do. | ||
| Don't paint yourself. | ||
| Be you through and through. | ||
| And I always have, you know? | ||
| I probably always will be. | ||
| So I told my manager, I'm probably gonna say some fucked up shit and you're gonna have to put out the fires. | ||
| It's not fucked up! | ||
| It's what you really think. | ||
| Right? | ||
| You know? | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| It's just, there's nothing wrong with it, man. | ||
| They gotta understand, like, this is what they do. | ||
| They market things. | ||
| But they, somehow in their mind, they think that, oh, the best way to market things is to not piss anybody off. | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| The best way to market things is to have a guy like you, who's out there, diving 300 fucking feet, Playing with sharks and shit, riding jet skis, and doing all kinds of banana shit. | ||
| You're a fucking madman. | ||
| You're a genuine madman. | ||
| And they want to take you, and they want to turn you into some fucking cookie cutter person that they could sell. | ||
| It's bullshit. | ||
| It is bullshit. | ||
| I'm with you. | ||
| And they can't sell that. | ||
| I'm with you. | ||
| Hoorah to that. | ||
| They want you to be Luke Bryan! | ||
| They want you to have genes that are already ripped! | ||
| They want to give you those fucking pre-ripped jeans. | ||
| Look, we scuffed up your boots for you. | ||
| Fuck you! | ||
| Fuck you, right? | ||
| Fuck you! | ||
| That's it. | ||
| I'm with you. | ||
| Fuck them. | ||
| Fuck them all. | ||
| I like that this beer says America on it. | ||
| Now you're a fan? | ||
| I'm a big fan. | ||
| I can get a couple cases dropped off any time you want. | ||
| You let me know. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| Just like you send me on it, I'll send you Budweiser. | ||
| We should have just a flag that just fucking gives beer. | ||
| Just a giant flag. | ||
| Fill a flag up with beer. | ||
| A big gigantic sack of beer. | ||
| What are we going to get you talking about loose? | ||
| That's what I can't wait. | ||
| We'll get you about two, three more in and you're going to be loose. | ||
| Pretty much. | ||
| I try to be loose. | ||
| Then you're going to spark up a joint and we're going to call it good times. | ||
| Ever since I got that Fear Factor money, I got loose. | ||
| That Fear Factor money makes you loose. | ||
| I'm still waiting for that UFC big money to come in. | ||
| It's coming. | ||
| It's coming. | ||
| It's got to come now. | ||
| Did you sign a new contract? | ||
| I did. | ||
| You did? | ||
| Are you happy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a pause there. | ||
| I don't like it. | ||
| I'm happy. | ||
| I like the pause! | ||
| I mean, am I as happy as I'd like to be? | ||
| Nah. | ||
| Am I skipping? | ||
| No, but... | ||
| Let me tell you something, man. | ||
| I googled. | ||
| I had to take a photo today and put it on my Instagram, and I googled Donald, and it went Trump, and then I put in the word C, and it was instantly Cerrone. | ||
| You're a famous motherfucker, dude. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| We need to get you paid. | ||
| I need to be your fucking manager! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you want to be on the team? | |
| I just don't want to get paid for it. | ||
| I want to be like, I'm just the guy who calls. | ||
| Just call me if shit gets weird. | ||
| Well, your answer is going to be the same as mine. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| Fuck it! | ||
| That's what it should be. | ||
| I feel like a guy like you, honestly, should be completely insulated from anybody's advice. | ||
| I feel like a guy like you, it should be like your friends and your family and people you love, and everybody else has to shut the fuck up and just let you go. | ||
| That's how I feel every day. | ||
| And then I get phone calls saying, you can't say that, Kelby. | ||
| You can't do that, Kelby. | ||
| You have to do this. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, they have to understand. | ||
| People talk a certain way, and they express themselves a certain way, and there's an honesty in what you do that you're not going to find in that many people. | ||
| There's an honesty in expressing yourself that is being lost. | ||
| It's being squashed. | ||
| It's just the way I'm geared. | ||
| I'm with you, man. | ||
| I wish things were different. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| It is different! | ||
| You don't have to listen! | ||
| Oh, I do. | ||
| Fuck them! | ||
| I do. | ||
| Fuck them! | ||
| This company we're drinking right here, they don't allow me to say certain things sometimes. | ||
| Wow, Budweiser America. | ||
| Listen, Budweiser, we got a problem now. | ||
| You write America on your Budweiser. | ||
| Understand this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, whoa, we're not in all that pot smoking talk. | |
| Pot smoking is American. | ||
| All this is American. | ||
| Beer is American. | ||
| They go hand in hand. | ||
| One of them's not bad, one of them's not good. | ||
| They're all good. | ||
| I try to explain to people, like, you can't... | ||
| Get a bobcat in your backyard and not think he's gonna fucking attack you. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's how I feel with me, too. | ||
| Like, I'm a wild motherfucker. | ||
| Like, you can't take the leash off me. | ||
| You can't put the leash on me and take me, kiss handshake babies, then let the leash off and let me. | ||
| And say, oh, he's gonna be alright. | ||
| Fuck, no he's not. | ||
| They can't turn you into some fucking sitcom dad. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Where the wife comes home and yells at you like, well, I thought I took the trash out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's what they want to do! | ||
| They want to figure out how to extract money out of you. | ||
| So when a guy like you starts talking crazy shit, they're like, oh, they're going to protest! | ||
| Oh, look out! | ||
| The transgender lesbian slash animal rights community that doesn't like you diving... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| God, I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't skydive or dive in the water. | ||
| You have a problem with your brain. | ||
| Serious problem. | ||
| You have a problem with your brain where your thrill meter gets low and you panic and then you've got to juice that bitch back up and it gets low and you've got to juice that bitch back up. | ||
| And that's why you're a great fighter. | ||
| And when we're on DMT, am I going to face these demons, you think? | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| But you'll be fine. | ||
| What DMT is going to tell you, I would imagine, I don't know what they're going to tell you, and I'm sorry for even suggesting it. | ||
| Because when I go into it next time, they're going to go, oh, you know, you know what we're going to say, bitch? | ||
| Who's they? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who's they? | |
| How about this? | ||
| I think your life experience is a wonderful journey. | ||
| Here's what I believe, honestly. | ||
| I think what you're doing By fighting at this extremely high level and by entertaining millions of people worldwide is you're providing people with incredible thrills. | ||
| You know how many people sent me the animated gif of that final combination you landed on Rick's story? | ||
| Let's talk about that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| Good lord! | ||
| Let's throw that bitch up on the screen. | ||
| Let's talk. | ||
| Everyone says how great this combo is. | ||
| Oh, it's beautiful. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Oh, crack! | ||
| That's the end of it. | ||
| Watch it from the beginning. | ||
| Well, you know what I love about it, man? | ||
| I love technique. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| This is what I love. | ||
| Pop, to the body, to the head, boom. | ||
| You know what I love about it? | ||
| Not a single one of those techniques is wound up. | ||
| Not a single one of those techniques is full power. | ||
| But look how you're doing this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pop, bank, crack! | |
| So for everyone that's listening, all that is the jab, cross, hook, kick. | ||
| Yeah, but it's not, because here's the thing about it. | ||
| The way you're throwing all these things is the way everybody should throw every punch. | ||
| There's no wind-up. | ||
| Everything is perfect technique. | ||
| The execution, the timing... | ||
| The accuracy. | ||
| Look how beautiful this is, man. | ||
| See, this is you, so I bet it's hard for you to appreciate. | ||
| But for me, as a person who calls MMA, as a person who watches fights, dude, when I was calling that fight, I was like this. | ||
| I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, look at this. | ||
| Oh, this is perfect. | ||
| Do you know how upset I missed the triangle I am with myself? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| This is better. | ||
| Look, he's a tough guy. | ||
| He's very tough. | ||
| He's got good submission defense. | ||
| So last time we talked, we talked about Cowboy watching himself. | ||
| I'm playing a video game. | ||
| I was in the mode, for sure. | ||
| Oh yeah, for sure. | ||
| I was in the mode. | ||
| That's some Matrix shit. | ||
| I mean, this to me is more impressive than when Anderson Silva knocked out Forrest Griffin. | ||
| Because when Anderson Silva knocked out Forrest Griffin, what I know about Forrest was that Forrest was compromised going into that fight. | ||
| He'd been knocked out twice in training camp. | ||
| He had a real hard time taking shots. | ||
| He probably shouldn't have been in there in the first place. | ||
| And so he had a lot of doubts and he was having a real hard time. | ||
| This is a big, powerful Rick Story who's a nasty motherfucker. | ||
| He throws vicious body shots. | ||
| He's a hard wrestler. | ||
| He's a guy who was the first loss that Johnny Hendricks got. | ||
| People don't know Rick Story. | ||
| Rick Story's a tough dude. | ||
| And for you to tee off on him like this, in this perfect way, not with big wound up fucking heavy shots like he throws. | ||
| What Rick Story likes to do is he pressures guys and he fucking digs in. | ||
| To the body, takes you down, beats you up. | ||
| He's a tough, tough dude. | ||
| And what you did is you just used perfect technique. | ||
| That angle, when you throw that left, you throw the left, the jab, you throw the right hand to the body, and then you take that, watch this, jab, right hand to the body. | ||
| Well, he fell off that way. | ||
| I didn't take an angle. | ||
| He did. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| That was all luck. | ||
| Yeah, but you adjusted. | ||
| You adjusted perfectly with that left. | ||
| You're trying to be nice. | ||
| You're trying to be nice about yourself. | ||
| Look, that's a beautiful combination, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| I appreciate it. | ||
| That's some matrix shit. | ||
| And I feel like a big part of that is you not depleting your body. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Another big part of it is 170 pounders. | ||
| Don't think you can just come take my body shots anymore because I got a little more biscuit now. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| You don't have to... | ||
| Weak-ass body. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| What did your body feel like when you fought 155? | ||
| Like, when you compare yourself to a normal training session, like, say you're several months in between fights... | ||
| So I walk around once... | ||
| I used to walk around about 174, right? | ||
| That was like my... | ||
| Deep training camp. | ||
| And I noticed when I started to cut, I'd get down to, you know, 168, 170, but I had nothing in the gas tank, man. | ||
| I would always be like, it was all mental at that point, you know? | ||
| And I didn't have, like, my body felt real thin and brittle. | ||
| 170, I feel good. | ||
| I don't feel the, I got the extra tank, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't feel like it's... | ||
| That's a big part of it. | ||
| Oh my God, is it? | ||
| It's a big part of it, man. | ||
| Now you spitting into that thing? | ||
| What's going on here? | ||
| It's the one I'm drinking. | ||
| Copenhagen? | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| What is that shit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Copenhagen. | ||
| What's the deal with that? | ||
| Explain that to me. | ||
| What does that do for you? | ||
| I've never been involved. | ||
| I have no experience in this. | ||
| I chewed tobacco once when I was a kid because I read Huckleberry Finn. | ||
| Did it give you a head high? | ||
| I threw up! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I started extra salivating and I felt like shit. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Is it good? | ||
| I like it. | ||
| Let me try some of that. | ||
| Give it a go. | ||
| What do you do with it? | ||
| Just take a little bump and put it under your lip. | ||
| A bump? | ||
| A little pinch. | ||
| Like a cocaine-style bump? | ||
| No. | ||
| I've never done that either. | ||
| I'd go less as much. | ||
| Yeah, that's plenty for you. | ||
| Is that too much? | ||
| No, it's good. | ||
| Okay, where do you put it? | ||
| Anywhere you put it, any lip you want. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah, it's going to start to burn a little bit. | ||
| I can't get cancer immediately, right? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| No, you shouldn't. | ||
| That doesn't taste bad. | ||
| No, it's like a winter green gun. | ||
| Let's try spit in the right one. | ||
| Yeah, spit in the right one because you do not, I repeat, do not want to drink, chew, spit. | ||
| That is a fucking day gone bad. | ||
| Well, one of the guys who worked for the UFC who was a... | ||
| Jamie's laughing because I'm chewing. | ||
| It looks ridiculous? | ||
| Why does it look ridiculous? | ||
| You're going to get a super body high. | ||
| It's going to be great. | ||
| Can't wait. | ||
| One of the guys that was a stuntman for the UFC, or not the UFC, Fear Factor. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He worked on so many movie sets where he couldn't spit that he wound up swallowing his spit. | ||
| So he got used to chewing and then swallowing it. | ||
| I got it spread out all over my lower gum. | ||
| Yeah, you got to use your tongue and ball it together. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Now, so I'm not addicted to chew. | ||
| I can go weeks. | ||
| I'm not addicted to pot either. | ||
| Yeah, I can go weeks without it. | ||
| I'm not addicted to pussy. | ||
| No, so I don't have an addictive personality at all. | ||
| No, literally, I mean, I usually just chew when I'm on the boat and out, and I don't know, whenever I drink. | ||
| I chew when I drink. | ||
| This is like a cigar times five. | ||
| Oh yeah, you're gonna get buzzing. | ||
| Yeah, now I get it. | ||
| It's just fun. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's probably bad. | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| Probably a terrible role model move. | ||
| Was it bad for you? | ||
| Oh, it says right here, certain general warning, great for you. | ||
| I don't know why they put that on the can, but... | ||
| I feel like all the people who get cancer from this are pussies. | ||
| Is that right? | ||
| No? | ||
| There's another thing you're not supposed to say. | ||
| Will Copenhagen sponsor you when the UFC let them? | ||
| They might now. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| Will the UFC let them? | ||
| Why wouldn't they? | ||
| I don't see why... | ||
| Maybe because it's tobacco, but... | ||
| But what about alcohol? | ||
| Alcohol kills a lot of people. | ||
| That they don't talk about, sure, but Bud Light and Anheuser-Busch is a giant sponsor of the UFC, so... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I don't see why they wouldn't. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe you'll see Copenhagen right in the middle of the octagon. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People get so mad. | ||
| People already get mad. | ||
| I think it's hilarious that people get mad that Nate Diaz was smoking a vape pen. | ||
| After his fight, Mike, you just watched him get punched in the fucking head for 25 minutes, and you think it's bad that he's smoking a vape pen. | ||
| You want to hear the problem with it, though? | ||
| What's the problem? | ||
| Well, there's no problem, but USADA can test up to 42 hours after we fight, right? | ||
| So it might be a bad call on him, just because... | ||
| Right. | ||
| Only that would be the only bad downfall, I think. | ||
| I mean, especially doing it publicly, he could probably get tested immediately right after. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| The thing is, the one he was taking was CBD oil, which is not psychoactive. | ||
| Which I'm a totally, totally fan of. | ||
| That's all I take. | ||
| Do you take CBD oil? | ||
| All the time. | ||
| I put the patches, I use the rub. | ||
| Yeah, because there's no hallucinogenic effects. | ||
| You just get the medicinal side of the marijuana. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So, yeah, whenever I go to Colorado, I load up on the CBD oils and I use them all the time for my knees and my elbows. | ||
| Yeah, I've got some shit that you can use in the bath, man. | ||
| I have some ointment that you put on your body. | ||
| Yeah, it's bath. | ||
| Some bath salts? | ||
| But it's like bath salts, for real. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Look at the size of that joint. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Parties with Snoop and the biggest joint ever. | ||
| That is not the biggest joint ever. | ||
| That is propaganda. | ||
| I've seen the biggest joint ever. | ||
| It's far bigger than that. | ||
| I'm a big supporter of both those gentlemen, but I don't like lying. | ||
| That's a pretty big joint. | ||
| That would floor me. | ||
| That's not the biggest joint ever. | ||
| Look, in this Onnit box right here. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I was in there creeping on it earlier. | ||
| Oh, look. | ||
| Weed. | ||
| How weird. | ||
| So now you're smoking, chewing, and drinking. | ||
| I'm just curious to see what happens when you combine the two of them together. | ||
| The three of them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The three of them. | |
| I'm a fucking American. | ||
| I'm a grown man. | ||
| I'm middle-aged. | ||
| I have children. | ||
| I have a wife. | ||
| I pay taxes. | ||
| I've got a lot of good things on my side. | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| And you changed lives, man. | ||
| The people that listen to this, I mean, this might be a terrible episode for people to model their... | ||
| Life after, but typically you talk about good health and eating correctly and just people that sit around and do nothing with their lives, you know, just getting up on a Sunday and going for a hike and getting out there, you know, you talk about all these things, so they enjoy it. | ||
| I get messages every day from people that lost 100 pounds, people that are feeling healthy. | ||
| The problem is we're dealing with propaganda. | ||
| And you could do one of two things. | ||
| You could either just say, well, you know, this is... | ||
| I think I swallowed all that tobacco. | ||
| Yeah, it's all gone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, shit. | |
| That's gross. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was wondering why I'm so hot. | ||
| You got a tobacco on it? | ||
| Look, it's gone. | ||
| No, you swallowed it. | ||
| I don't have it. | ||
| Oh, you swallowed it? | ||
| Yeah, I swallowed it. | ||
| Attaboy. | ||
| I don't know what I'm doing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's... | |
| All right. | ||
| Chew and drink and swallow. | ||
| All right. | ||
| We're fine. | ||
| Eating pussy and kicking ass. | ||
| Yeah, kicking pussy and kicking ass. | ||
| What happens when you swallow it? | ||
| New rules. | ||
| Jamie pulls up something immediately. | ||
| New rules enforced by the Food and Drug Administration will prevent cigarette and smokeless tobacco sponsorships in sporting events. | ||
| That's smokeless tobacco, though. | ||
| I think that's the vape pens. | ||
| Is that talking about chewing tobacco? | ||
| I think it's all of it. | ||
| That's chewing tobacco. | ||
| I swallowed it. | ||
| This was a couple years ago. | ||
| This was like 2010. I can't find it. | ||
| Yeah, it's gone. | ||
| It's gone. | ||
| You'll be alright. | ||
| If you don't throw up, now you're fine. | ||
| You're going to be alright. | ||
| I've got a serious head rush though. | ||
| Yeah, I bet. | ||
| This is good. | ||
| I'm enjoying this. | ||
| I might incorporate this in my diet. | ||
| What if we start selling Onnit tobacco pills? | ||
| They'd be like snus packets that you put in a little packet. | ||
| Well, that's one thing that you do get when you smoke a cigar. | ||
| You get this weird kind of different kind of high. | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| You know, weird kind of head rush, silly, happy high. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I didn't spit once. | ||
| I never spit. | ||
| I just want to swallow it. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| That might be the best way to go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You want some more of this? | |
| Fucking A, Rowan. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| We're here for a hundred years if we're lucky. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Lucky. | |
| And along the way, we're having to deal with decades and decades of propaganda, which are lies. | ||
| It's just lies. | ||
| We're dealing with lies by all these different people that profited off of... | ||
| Demonization of marijuana and having people think that there's something bad about consuming these psychedelic drugs. | ||
| These things have made me more sensitive. | ||
| They made me nicer. | ||
| They made me more aware of my impact on the people that are in my life. | ||
| More kind and more appreciative of the people that are in my life. | ||
| More appreciative and more thankful for all the lucky things that have happened to me. | ||
| All the fortune that I've had to meet. | ||
| Good dudes like you and Jamie and and to be able to do something like this podcast when I I smoke weed sometimes You know what I think I think how fortunate I am and I think I think how much I love my children I think about how much I love my friends I caught my Joey Diaz will call me up high in the middle of the day at any given moment I'm just gonna tell you I love you dog. | ||
| I fucking love you. | ||
| I know he's high as fuck I love you right now. | ||
| I'm so high I think I'm not even on this planet I'm calling you from Jupiter But these are not bad things, folks. | ||
| They're not bad things, you know? | ||
| You know, when you see Nate Diaz smoking a little weed, he should be able to smoke a fucking joint. | ||
| He should be at that press conference. | ||
| They should have one of those oxygen things which sucks the air out. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| A little vent right above him. | ||
| Let him smoke a joint. | ||
| He just fought for millions of people, you know? | ||
| That's what I think, cowboy. | ||
| I'm with you, man. | ||
| I'm totally... | ||
| This is the part where Budweiser cancels us. | ||
| They're like, we're done. | ||
| We're done. | ||
| We're done with this. | ||
| You're out of here. | ||
| Well... | ||
| Sponsorships are hard, man. | ||
| I understand. | ||
| I understand it from their perspective. | ||
| You know, it's hard because you're kind of outsourcing credibility, right? | ||
| This is how a friend of mine, my friend Jason Hairston, he owns this company called Kuyu, which is a big-time... | ||
| A hunting apparel company. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| And they've been in here before because they're fascinating guys. | ||
| He's a super smart, genius dude who makes the best clothes for mountaineering and for hunting. | ||
| And he does it because it's his passion, that's what he likes to do. | ||
| So this guy goes to Japan, finds all the best fabrics. | ||
| And we were talking about, I don't know if you know about what's going on with Under Armour. | ||
| Did you see that thing where that dude killed a bear with a spear? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See, that's how you feel. | ||
| And he killed a bear with a spear and a bunch of people got mad and a bunch of people protested, which is really ironic because... | ||
| Well, I think if you're going to kill a bear, any predator, I'm not a predator hunter, but if you're going to kill a predator, fucking get down and dirty with it. | ||
| Well, he got down and dirty, 100%. | ||
| You had to be, what, five feet from it with a spear? | ||
| I think he was, well, he's a huge dude. | ||
| His name's Josh Bomar. | ||
| I'll give him a shout out. | ||
| And this is what happened. | ||
| Josh Bomar killed this bear with a spear, and they put the video online. | ||
| Like, did he tree it first, or? | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| It was at a bait site in Alberta. | ||
| He was there the week before I was there. | ||
| I was there hunting the week afterwards. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And he got within 16 feet of this bear, and maybe 16 yards. | ||
| He got close as fuck to this bear. | ||
| But he is like a competitive javelin thrower. | ||
| He's a huge dude. | ||
| He's a bodybuilder. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| He chucks his spear, hits the bear, the bear runs 60 yards and dies. | ||
| Okay, but there's a video of it and the bear's guts are hanging out. | ||
| You know, it's like hunting scenes are graphic. | ||
| Just like, you know, everybody likes to have those five guys' burgers, but nobody wants to go to the fucking slaughterhouse and watch them get hit in the head with a piston and gutted and hung by their ankles and twitched and spraying all over the place. | ||
| But that's the reality of the world we're living in, right? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I'm not 100% saying that... | ||
| I don't think putting the video up is a good idea. | ||
| Because if you're going to put a video like that up, you've got to explain for hours your position on a whole lot of things before anybody's going to accept that video. | ||
| Anyway, Under Armour, which they sponsored his wife, they canceled her sponsorship because she was filming the hunt. | ||
| And then they're getting this huge backlash from all of these hunters who were like, well, this is a legal hunt because it was legal to do that in Alberta. | ||
| And everybody always says, like, if they talk about hunters, ah, you pussy, you think you're a fucking man, go kill him with a spear. | ||
| Yeah, or a knife. | ||
| This guy did it! | ||
| He fucking killed a seven-foot bear with a spear. | ||
| I wouldn't do it. | ||
| There's a couple problems with it as far as a regular person. | ||
| First of all, you gotta be strong as fuck to throw a spear hard enough to kill a bear. | ||
| Or if you're not, you gotta be close enough. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A couple of those things, those are both huge factors. | ||
| You're taking a tremendous risk doing something like that. | ||
| So it gets out of the realm, in a lot of people's eyes, of hunting for meat, which is really the only thing that people respect. | ||
| If the average person doesn't hunt, they do not respect trophy animals. | ||
| Like trophy hunting, rather. | ||
| If you say, oh, I want a zebra rug, so I'm going to go shoot a zebra, people will get fucking pissed at you. | ||
| I've always wanted to see a stuffed giraffe in my backyard. | ||
| People will get fucking really mad at you if you kill an animal for its skin. | ||
| But if you kill an animal for the sole purpose of eating it and you do it in an ethical way, People, they go, okay, I get it because I eat meat myself and I buy fish from the store. | ||
| And there's 95% of the planet does that. | ||
| But this guy who got it, there's this huge controversy with Under Armour. | ||
| And one of the things that Jason Harrison from Kuyu said, he goes... | ||
| We don't outsource our credibility. | ||
| Our company is dependent upon us. | ||
| We don't have any athletes that we sponsor. | ||
| There's no one out there that represents our brand that we have to make sure you don't say this, don't say that. | ||
| All they do is just make great shit. | ||
| And I think that's the thing about a company like Budweiser. | ||
| I love that a company like Budweiser gets behind a guy like you. | ||
| But they gotta accept you for you. | ||
| They gotta accept you for you. | ||
| Dirty words and all. | ||
| Dirty words and all. | ||
| Alright, so we all know you're a meat eater. | ||
| What would your last meal, your death row meal of choice be? | ||
| Elk and jalapenos. | ||
| Elk and jalapenos. | ||
| That's how I do it. | ||
| I'm so fucking pissed I missed out on that. | ||
| Dude, tell me the next time you're here, I'll have you over the house, I'll cook for you. | ||
| I seen you cooking it last night. | ||
| I know you're only here for a short time. | ||
| Next time, my friend, let's plan this out. | ||
| Let's train. | ||
| Let's get together. | ||
| Let's get a little workout in. | ||
| I'll grill for you. | ||
| I'll bring some Americans. | ||
| We can do whatever you want. | ||
| Yeah, we can roll. | ||
| We do whatever you want. | ||
| I want to see how you set up some of your shit, too. | ||
| I want to watch. | ||
| Because you know what I really love that you do, man? | ||
| That knee to the body. | ||
| That check knee to the body. | ||
| God damn, you do that better than anybody in the sport. | ||
| And you do it out of nowhere. | ||
| You have a beautiful way of delivering that when you don't know it's coming. | ||
| I think that's a really... | ||
| I mean, there's a lot of guys that do it. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| But I think that you probably do it as good as anybody in MMA right now. | ||
| I'd like to see how you set that up. | ||
| I'd like to talk to you about that shit. | ||
| Anytime, yeah. | ||
| I just got my black belt. | ||
| I'm pretty excited about that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know! | |
| Jiu-jitsu! | ||
| Donald Saron, long time come. | ||
| Long time come. | ||
| He's been overtrained 15 years. | ||
| Just putting on the gi, I don't get into it that much. | ||
| Well, the gi's problematic. | ||
| The gi's problematic. | ||
| It was cool. | ||
| It totally caught me off guard and I had no idea it was coming. | ||
| So I was like, oh wow, cool. | ||
| People get so hung up on that goddamn gi. | ||
| I'm a big fan of the gi. | ||
| I have a black belt in the gi. | ||
| I don't think there's anything wrong with the gi. | ||
| But I think people are too fucking connected to an article of clothing. | ||
| And they're doing it for one reason. | ||
| One reason. | ||
| This is the only reason. | ||
| Other than tradition. | ||
| Because the guys with the gi know how to use that fucking gi. | ||
| They know how to hold those collars. | ||
| They know how to grab those sleeves. | ||
| They know how to control your ass in a way they cannot do when you're slippery. | ||
| So if you guys go in there MMA style, and you're wearing shorts, and he's wearing shorts, it is a completely different ballgame. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And no one wants to admit that. | ||
| Well, I do. | ||
| Every time I go rolling a gi, I say, hey, man, if you want to... | ||
| Take a collar choke, go ahead. | ||
| You can have it. | ||
| I don't even know how to defend himself. | ||
| If you want to win by that, go ahead. | ||
| Go ahead, Ezekiel the shit out of me. | ||
| Yeah, whatever you want to do. | ||
| Listen, it's great if you get in a fight with a dude with a winter coat. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like, Jimmy Pedro is probably the last guy in the world you'd want to get in a fight with if you have a winter coat. | ||
| You know, Olympic gold medalist, judo dude's gonna fucking drop you on your head. | ||
| That's the worst, but... | ||
| So, funny story. | ||
| You talk about Olympic gold medal judo. | ||
| My best friend Eric Bonekamp and I, this is before I started fighting, got into a street fight down in Colorado Springs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, Jesus. | |
| And the guy had his judo jacket on, right? | ||
| And we were like, yeah, whatever, fucking... | ||
| We started a fight with him. | ||
| This motherfucker, I don't know, is it the Uchimata when they throw you? | ||
| There's a couple of those. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| He threw my buddy through the fucking plate glass window. | ||
| Oh, shit! | ||
| Did the mic drop and walked off. | ||
| And I just had to stand there like, holy fuck. | ||
| He threw them through a plate glass window? | ||
| Downtown Colorado Springs, Colorado. | ||
| We were down in the bar district. | ||
| The fight started. | ||
| The dude just was like, whatever. | ||
| My buddy came at him. | ||
| He just grabbed me and fucking threw him through the window. | ||
| And I was like, you win. | ||
| Well, you know, one of the things that I recognize really early on in MMA is there's certain guys, there's just giant levels of shit, right? | ||
| Like we're seeing that with Damian Maia, right? | ||
| We saw that in Damian Maia fight with Carlos Cana. | ||
| There's levels of this jujitsu. | ||
| And Damian Maia's got that... | ||
| Hicks and Gracie style, just smoosh jujitsu. | ||
| And it's just perfect, technically. | ||
| Just perfect. | ||
| Everything he does is perfect. | ||
| Well, there's like, like when Kyle Parisian first fought in the UFC, I remember going, oh, okay. | ||
| I just haven't seen this level yet. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like this motherfucker's tossing people. | ||
| He would get that, Kyle Parisian in his early days would get that overhook. | ||
| He would get that overhook and he would bump you and fucking send you flying. | ||
| And everybody went flying. | ||
| Karo threw everybody. | ||
| He came down to Jackson's, he threw me. | ||
| He throws everybody. | ||
| And talk about like a morale killer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You get thrown in front of millions of people, you're like, oh fuck. | ||
| And he throws you perfect. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, he is Gene LaBelle, Gokar, Kovitchian, you know, it's like that whole fucking lineage of judo. | ||
| Is very strong. | ||
| That highest time grappling, that's very strong lineage of Judo. | ||
| They have strong Judo, man. | ||
| And you know, that's where Ronda came from. | ||
| She spent a lot of her time there as well. | ||
| Under Judo, like Judo Jean. | ||
| Judo Jean's like always at her fights, you know? | ||
| Is she coming back? | ||
| You gotta talk to her, brother. | ||
| I haven't talked to her. | ||
| I haven't either. | ||
| I don't have the direct mind to Rhonda. | ||
| I always feel weird when someone loses a fight. | ||
| If I reach out to them, I always feel weird. | ||
| I always feel like... | ||
| If I see someone in person... | ||
| Look, Joe, I'm four to one on you, buddy. | ||
| Give me another one, bro. | ||
| You just tip your motherfucking game up, brother. | ||
| Yeah, but I ate tobacco and smoked weed. | ||
| We're probably really close. | ||
| This one's done. | ||
| I'll move on to number three. | ||
| You're going in. | ||
| All right. | ||
| You see levels of everything in sport, and I think that's one of the things you're showing, man. | ||
| I think you're showing a level of kickboxing that's a very fucking... | ||
| You're hitting those kind of combinations, man. | ||
| Now I believe in my wrestling. | ||
| I think that's... | ||
| Big key in the Kote fight and in the Rick Story fight. | ||
| You took both those guys down. | ||
| And I think they were probably like, what? | ||
| Yeah, what the fuck? | ||
| But I mean, the confidence in my takedown defense is allowing me to really open up. | ||
| And believing in myself is really... | ||
| Like I said, when I reinvented myself, I just started... | ||
| Like when someone comes into the gym, I'm fucking you up. | ||
| When you come down to jazz, I'm beating your motherfucking ass. | ||
| I understand. | ||
| So it's just... | ||
| Except the fact that you're not sparring. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Back in the day. | ||
| You come in and we do MMA rounds, I'm fucking you up. | ||
| I just need to somehow figure out how do I translate that into fight night because so many emotions. | ||
| This last fight was the worst I've ever felt in my whole life. | ||
| I talked about that with Megan after the fight. | ||
| I had the worst headache and was legitimately sick all day before this last fight. | ||
| And, you know, Greg Jackson's like, cowboy, this is what you train for every day. | ||
| To beat somebody on your worst is what you have to be prepared for, you know? | ||
| Fuck, it was just warming up. | ||
| I didn't feel it. | ||
| It wasn't until we started walking out that I was like, find the motherfucking gear, let's go. | ||
| I had to get it. | ||
| I think there's a legit question that I asked you in the last podcast. | ||
| I said, have you ever talked to a mental coach? | ||
| Have you ever worked with a mental coach? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And you're like, fuck no. | ||
| I just go out there and kick some ass. | ||
| Eat pussy. | ||
| Eating pussy, kicking ass. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Which I think is very admirable and it's fun. | ||
| But I think you're at this... | ||
| There's this crust of the elite of the elite right now. | ||
| And you're at that crust. | ||
| And I think in that top echelon, when you get up there with the best of the best... | ||
| I don't think there's any room for potential. | ||
| I think it all should be played out. | ||
| You should have realized your potential as much as possible by the time you got there. | ||
| And I think a factor in that is mindset. | ||
| And I don't think it's just being tough and going out there and kicking ass, because you've already got that down to a science. | ||
| That's you. | ||
| I think there are some strategies and there are also some tools that you can use in terms of mental management that keep you in the proper channels and don't allow your mind to wander. | ||
| So you don't have to bring your mind back and say, ah, don't think about that. | ||
| We're here for this. | ||
| This is what we came for. | ||
| You don't need that pep talk, okay? | ||
| Because you never go down that bad channel. | ||
| You're always staying in these positive channels, and the thoughts come in like they do with anybody. | ||
| Like when I meditate or when I get in the tank, people think you just go in there and you zen out. | ||
| No, I start thinking about stupid shit. | ||
| I start thinking about, God, I gotta clean my fucking office. | ||
| I'm such a slob. | ||
| You know, like little things. | ||
| You start thinking dumb shit. | ||
| I'm writing this down. | ||
| 170. But then you take them back in. | ||
| And mental coach. | ||
| I'm gonna connect you to Vinnie Shorman. | ||
| Vinnie Shorman is a guy that works with Joe Schilling. | ||
| He works with Ian McCall. | ||
| I've done two sessions with him. | ||
| He's a hypnotist. | ||
| He's also a Muay Thai commentator and a coach and he knows his shit. | ||
| Especially when it comes to striking. | ||
| I think you would get along with him just because of that. | ||
| But he's got some really... | ||
| I've done two podcasts with him too. | ||
| You can listen to the podcast. | ||
| He makes some real legitimate points when it comes to understanding how the mind works, the tricks he can play on you, and how bad decisions from the past can fuck with you in terms of bad things sort of define you. | ||
| And you've got to figure out a way to alleviate yourself from any response... | ||
| Am I meaning with him... | ||
| Before or after the DMT trip? | ||
| Before. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Before. | |
| We gotta get ready. | ||
| So we're gonna get ready? | ||
| We gotta get ready, dude. | ||
| You know, when those astronauts go into space, bro, they don't just show up. | ||
| Aubrey's the shaman. | ||
| He's the one who's gonna put on the whole thing. | ||
| He plays the music. | ||
| He plays these South American Icaros that were recorded by him in the jungle. | ||
| It goes deep. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| It goes deep. | ||
| But what I think, I think, you know, and I think you're already coaching yourself by this, like reinventing yourself, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Re-evaluating your diet, starting to add supplementation, taking care of yourself better, approaching things in a more professional way, cutting out the sparring, working entirely on drilling, and you're seeing all these results. | ||
| Choosing to go to 170 and be healthier when you're fighting, you're seeing all these results. | ||
| All these results are like this gravitation towards improvement. | ||
| Improvement and advancement. | ||
| And I think that there's a thing that men have, and I'm guilty of it, we all are, where we don't want help. | ||
| That's why women are always like, men don't want directions. | ||
| Directions, yeah. | ||
| I'm like, I know where I'm going. | ||
| Don't worry about it. | ||
| I mean, it's classic. | ||
| My wife does it all the time. | ||
| I know where I'm going. | ||
| Sometimes I'm not even exactly sure. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| But what I know is I don't want to hear her tell me where I'm going. | ||
| Because if I was just driving on my own, I'd figure it out. | ||
| Like, it would be no problem. | ||
| But when someone doesn't think, it's like men have a real issue With being coached on things that could be potentially thought of as weaknesses. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Like men don't want to go to like a couple's counseling and have some other dude tell you how to communicate better with your woman or your man, you know, whatever you're into. | ||
| Or your man. | ||
| Gay guys go to counseling. | ||
| We can't go down that path. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's... | |
| Yeah, Budweiser gets angry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
America! | |
| Pull it up! | ||
| America! | ||
| I gotta pee because I drink too much America. | ||
| Kick an ass. | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
| I'm glad you left. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck I was saying. | ||
| I was going on about something completely preposterous. | ||
| What was I saying? | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Men do have a problem, a lot of us do, with thinking that you are your mistakes, you are your faults, and you are your weaknesses. | ||
| So they get branded into your system. | ||
| And once these things get branded into your system, they're really difficult to shake. | ||
| Because you sort of define yourself not by the lessons you've learned from those experiences and you being this conscious entity that is existing right now, not in a state of mistakes and of errors, but of life. | ||
| You're living right now with information based on your past. | ||
| And you can go forward from that and be really positive and go, wow, I'm glad I went through all those awful things because I know that I could be a real twat or I could be really retarded or I could be really foolish or impulsive and I could mess my whole life up. | ||
| But I am this guy right now. | ||
| If you don't, like, learn that, then you can go through this life going, hey, I don't give a fuck. | ||
| This is me. | ||
| This is who I am. | ||
| And I don't want any coaching. | ||
| I don't want any advice. | ||
| But there's a bunch of other people that have gone through similar experiences. | ||
| And you can call them coaches or just call them human beings with information. | ||
| And there's people that have gone through a bunch of experiences. | ||
| That are real similar to the ones that you're gonna go through or I'm gonna go through and these people were talking about learning from other men that like learning shit about like weaknesses like emotions and about like Fears and and just your own mortality, you know all those things are real issues Men don't like learning from other men. | ||
| So you're like I don't need that shit, you know, right? | ||
| You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| I know what you're talking about. | ||
| Gotta get back in the group, bro. | ||
| You took the leak. | ||
| You reset. | ||
| We're resetting. | ||
| In other news, yesterday I was outfitted for a new movie I'm doing, a western. | ||
| You're doing a western? | ||
| How weird. | ||
| It's actually not a movie. | ||
| It's a Netflix series. | ||
| I got six episodes. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Cool, right? | ||
| That's gigantic. | ||
| I gotta do cowboy shit. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| It's called Godless. | ||
| It's a... | ||
| I'm part of a gang. | ||
| A train robbery gang. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I'm fucking pumped, man. | ||
| I'm excited. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I was starting on the 12th. | ||
| Have you ever acted before? | ||
| Well, I did Always Sunny in Philadelphia, but I played me. | ||
| Here's what I think. | ||
| I think you're going to kill it right out of the box, and we're going to show the world how fucking easy acting is. | ||
| Goddamn people think that shit is hard. | ||
| And I'm not a good actor, by the way. | ||
| I should just say that right off the bat. | ||
| But I know a lot of people can go right from other shit and become actors. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I'm more excited about fucking shooting guns and riding horses and shit. | ||
| I bet you are. | ||
| You should be. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| Yeah, I mean... | ||
| Yeah, you don't want to get too pumped up about fake shit. | ||
| I'm about to do some fake shit. | ||
| Oh, dude, you get to wear makeup? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What kind of... | |
| So I got this beard, and they tell me, they tell me, we need you to grow your beard, all your hair out. | ||
| And I said, well, this is a little bit of a problem up top here, but... | ||
| I'll try. | ||
| They want you to grow your hair long? | ||
| Give me a wig like Kevin Costner. | ||
| They said wigs are uncomfortable, but they want a grunge look out of this. | ||
| I can do grunge. | ||
| Can't you just be a cowboy with a shaved head? | ||
| Didn't they have buzz cuts back then? | ||
| I mean, where would you buzz your head? | ||
| You'd shave it all and you'd let it grow back a little bit. | ||
| No, one of them nice straight razors. | ||
| They use those westerdy type places that people go to. | ||
| So while we're raping and pillaging across the countryside, I'm just going to campfire lit mirror cut. | ||
| Shit! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit! | |
| That's what they would do. | ||
| And they would sharpen it with a strop. | ||
| They sharpen it with that leather thing. | ||
| I never understood that. | ||
| How the fuck does leather sharpen a razor blade? | ||
| Do you understand? | ||
| I do not. | ||
| I buy a new razor every time. | ||
| Here's a rabbit hole that I've gone down recently. | ||
| I've been going on these Instagram pages of custom knife makers. | ||
| Are you the person that likes all those? | ||
| Is that why I keep coming up on my like feed? | ||
| I love that shit. | ||
| Who likes all these big juicy butt girls on all these fucking knives? | ||
| This guy. | ||
| This guy. | ||
| These guys, well, I'm sure there's some girls out there too, but I've only followed guys. | ||
| They have their own forging facilities. | ||
| And they make the sheaves and everything. | ||
| They're clanging the fucking metal and putting in the fire and making handmade knives and shit. | ||
| Dude, I'm obsessed with this. | ||
| You forced me to creep just because they're on the... | ||
| whatever that... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Microscope. | |
| What is that fucking thing called? | ||
| The search. | ||
| The search page. | ||
| It might be because we follow each other and I'm going to those sites all the time. | ||
| I'm just fascinated by it, man. | ||
| I don't know what my original point was. | ||
| You're talking about cool shit. | ||
| A lot of people making cool shit out there, but that's the rabbit hole I've gone down is homemade knives. | ||
| And how crazy is it that someone is good at making that and how good you are at speaking Through people's souls. | ||
| See, but this is easy. | ||
| This is just talking. | ||
| No, it's not, though. | ||
| It's not easy. | ||
| What you do is not easy. | ||
| I couldn't just go get someone out the street, put them here, and be like, alright, I need you to interview somebody for three to five hours, and keep it entertaining, and have no dead time, and know what the fuck you're talking about. | ||
| See, that's where you're wrong. | ||
| I don't not know what the fuck I'm talking about. | ||
| I don't remember what I was talking about when you were taking a leak. | ||
| Your DMT speech was... | ||
| You had me wrapping up my arm ready for a mainline drag, so I'm ready for it. | ||
| I've given that one before. | ||
| I know that one real good. | ||
| It's like asking you to throw a jab. | ||
| You could be hammered when you throw that jab. | ||
| How fucking mad does that piss you off when you're at the shows? | ||
| I've been to a lot of your shows, and everyone's always like, DMT. When you ask people what you want to talk about, they're always like, DMT. You're like, fuck you, dude. | ||
| I just tell them, go on YouTube. | ||
| Go on YouTube. | ||
| I can't talk about it anymore. | ||
| And there's nothing funny I can say about it either. | ||
| And it's definitely not something you can say in front of a giant crowd of people where they're going to understand that. | ||
| I tried to explain. | ||
| Doug Stanhope had a whole bit once, because I got him high on DMT and blew his mind, and he went and did a whole bit about me and him doing DMT in my house. | ||
| I thought he was dead. | ||
| He was moaning and foaming, like legitimately foaming at the mouth. | ||
| He was lying down going... | ||
| For 15 minutes? | ||
| No, it was a solid three of moaning with a point where I'm going, oh boy. | ||
| Maybe he was just purging. | ||
| Well, I just started thinking, what did I do? | ||
| Like, I made Doug do what I do, right? | ||
| So I'm thinking, eh, he'll be fine. | ||
| That's why I'm not doing what you do. | ||
| You say three giant hits. | ||
| I'm going to do one and a half. | ||
| Here's my point. | ||
| You're fucking healthy. | ||
| Doug Stanhope smokes two packs of cigarettes a day. | ||
| He gets up, starts drinking, stops when he falls asleep, starts when he wakes up again. | ||
| It matters of your physical... | ||
| Well, I just think what was going on, and it wasn't bad for him. | ||
| He came back, he was fine. | ||
| It's a natural drug that is in the human body. | ||
| You don't overdose from it. | ||
| No one's ever died from smoking DMT. How many people have done DMT? Not a lot. | ||
| More now than before. | ||
| Yeah, because you're pumping. | ||
| We don't have a very big audience of people we can pull through. | ||
| Like, yeah, you've definitely OD'd on LSD or on... | ||
| Alcohol. | ||
| This is what I think without being irresponsible. | ||
| I think that if you have any psychological issues, you probably shouldn't do anything that perturbs your state, your psychological state. | ||
| Yeah, so I should not do it. | ||
| I'm fucking crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're fine! | |
| Bat shit crazy. | ||
| But I think that saying that, just saying that, getting that out of the way, it could benefit a whole lot of people. | ||
| There's a whole lot of people that could benefit from it. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| I'm in. | ||
| I'm going in. | ||
| There's a way to do it through kundalini yoga, apparently. | ||
| Do you know Denny Propokos? | ||
| He's one of Eddie Bravo's black belts. | ||
| Maybe you've seen him with me a bunch of times. | ||
| He works for the UFC sometimes. | ||
| He kind of does what Eddie used to do, where he recognizes... | ||
| What they do is they're filming certain positions, like when Damien Maia finished Carlos Condit, it would either be Mark Della Grate, or when Della Grate's out, Denny will fill in the place. | ||
| So he understands the transitions, so he'll pull that clip up for the replays. | ||
| And Denny is a big proponent of Kundalini Yoga, and he's also done DMT. And when he does Kundalini, he can achieve those states. | ||
| How? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't understand kundalini. | ||
| I've never done it. | ||
| What the fuck does kundalini even mean? | ||
| Kundalini is a series of exercises and meditations and yoga that are widely purported to achieve psychedelic states. | ||
| There's other ways to do it, too. | ||
| There's holotropic breathing. | ||
| There's a psychedelic breathing method that you can do. | ||
| See, DMT is produced by the human body. | ||
| So you've just got to get your body to make it. | ||
| Accesses somehow. | ||
| Yeah, there's ways that people have figured out where you can stimulate your body's production of this natural psychedelic chemical. | ||
| So not just through taking it exogenously, like smoking it or drinking it when you're taking ayahuasca, but to make your own body produce it. | ||
| And the reason behind it is for near-death experience, right? | ||
| To make you feel okay? | ||
| I don't know what the reason behind it is. | ||
| I feel like I've experienced what you're talking about when I almost died. | ||
| Everything I was in the most pain I've ever been in, I tipped the gurney over, fucking threw up all this blood, and they put me back, and then all of a sudden this overwhelming feeling just overtook me, and everything was just okay. | ||
| I was okay to die. | ||
| It was the craziest feeling I've ever had. | ||
| I had no fear, and I had no worries in the world. | ||
| It was just like, okay. | ||
| Everything was just like a giant ease that lifted off me. | ||
| I've heard that before. | ||
| I haven't had that experience, but I've heard that before. | ||
| Well, don't try and die. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I have a friend who almost died in a car accident, and she said the same thing. | ||
| She said right after the car hit, and she got smashed by this car, slamming in, like they got t-boned. | ||
| She flew across the other side of the car and smashed into her friend. | ||
| And there was this immediate, like, feeling of peace. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| This immediate feeling of, like, everything's gonna be alright. | ||
| And this weird love sensation. | ||
| I didn't see any geographic shapes telling me. | ||
| Well, because you were knocking on the door, son. | ||
| You gotta go inside. | ||
| I didn't get it. | ||
| I did one more rip and I'd have been good. | ||
| Well, that's what the worry is. | ||
| That when you're doing DMT, what you're seeing is the afterlife. | ||
| You're seeing that there is some place that the soul goes. | ||
| And that the soul is not just a concept that's based in mysticism and lies and in fantasies. | ||
| Mysticism and lies. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of people that look at things that you can't prove. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| It's faith. | ||
| That's a big word of faith. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, if you look at something like a soul, you can't prove it. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| You can't prove it. | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| We all agree on that. | ||
| But let's examine what the fuck it means to be a person. | ||
| We don't know what it means to be conscious. | ||
| There's all these ways we can define it and talk about it where it makes sense, but it does not make sense that you are looking through your eyes and living the life of Donald Cerrone. | ||
| And I'm looking through my eyes, and I'm living the life of Joe Rogan. | ||
| And we become pals, and we have stories, and we talk, and you say things with your mouth, and I kind of understand what you're saying, and I say things, and I hope you understand what I'm saying, and we laugh, we have a good time, we drink a few Budweiser. | ||
| It's like, this is a fucking bizarre state to be in. | ||
| Super bizarre. | ||
| Clinging to a circular ball like some gigantic huge pack of water and dirt and rock that's hurling through infinity. | ||
| This is strange. | ||
| With seven others. | ||
| It's so strange. | ||
| It's as strange as can be. | ||
| Life is way stranger or as strange as anything you're going to experience on DMT. You're just used to life. | ||
| I like life. | ||
| I like life too. | ||
| Life is awesome. | ||
| So let's talk about space. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha! | |
| Let's go there. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| What the fuck is out there, man? | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Everything. | ||
| So I talked to BJ Penn. | ||
| He thinks the world is flat. | ||
| I understand this. | ||
| I've heard this. | ||
| How crazy is that, right? | ||
| He believes the world is flat and that when you take off in an airplane, you just do like a big... | ||
| You don't go around the world. | ||
| You just kind of do like a giant... | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Why would anybody lie about that? | ||
| Where's the money in line about the earth being flat? | ||
| It's so stupid. | ||
| So stupid. | ||
| It's so stupid. | ||
| He thinks Columbus might have been onto something. | ||
| Listen, man, there's a bunch of people making YouTube videos, okay? | ||
| And these YouTube videos confuse the fuck out of people that don't understand physics, like you or me. | ||
| I don't understand physics. | ||
| Even physics or not, it comes down to when you sail around the world... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You go around the world. | ||
| Around the fucking world. | ||
| You follow GPS. You follow the map. | ||
| It's not like you're just gonna... | ||
| What, do you just hit a wall? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Every image shown by NASA is a composite of the Earth. | |
| That's exactly what they say, right? | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| Look, you can go in the space station, you cunts. | ||
| You can see it. | ||
| Is everybody that's been to the space station lying? | ||
| Every Russian, every American, they're all a bunch of liars and you're a truth seeker. | ||
| Luminati, baby. | ||
| They're all Luminati. | ||
| Do you know how stupid that is to think that everyone has been faking every image of the Earth being round? | ||
| Oh, and coincidentally, the Earth is the only flat thing we've ever found in the fucking universe, because all the moons, all the planets, Jupiter, all that shit's round as fuck. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| These are tree stumps, by the way, according to the Flat Earth theory. | ||
| Every giant rock... | ||
| Okay, we're being trolled. | ||
| Dude, this is not real. | ||
| There's no way that's a tree stump. | ||
| How big would that tree be? | ||
| This is an elaborate 4chan host. | ||
| They're slowly trolling America. | ||
| The tree would have been that Pandora-sized tree. | ||
| Definitely makes sense. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It's legit. | ||
| And what happened to it? | ||
| It got knocked, I don't know. | ||
| Not the dinosaurs. | ||
| Listen, the reality, the reality of Earth and space is crazy enough, you dumb cunts. | ||
| You don't have to fake conspiracies. | ||
| The reality of this whole thing is so fucking uber bizarre. | ||
| We're in a giant ball that's floating in the sky. | ||
| Above us is something a quarter the size of us. | ||
| It's floating in the sky. | ||
| And it doesn't even fucking spin. | ||
| And you need it there. | ||
| And it regulates the tides. | ||
| And if it was any further or any closer, everybody would be dead. | ||
| That's crazy! | ||
| That itself is fucking crazy. | ||
| You don't have to pretend you're seeing trees. | ||
| You don't have to pretend the earth is flat, you fucking retards. | ||
| That doesn't help anybody. | ||
| But that's where faith comes in. | ||
| Like, they're saying, how can all these things fall? | ||
| How can all these things fall? | ||
| Because they don't know physics. | ||
| They don't know. | ||
| Jamie, explain. | ||
| I took physics in high school, a little bit in college, and when Eddie was going on his rant, I couldn't remember all the things to say, so I wasn't going to break out physics laws and whatnot to break down each step. | ||
| But if you do physics experiments in class, you will easily see all of these steps, and it blows your mind. | ||
| You're like, oh my god, it's amazing how this works. | ||
| There's math that's been done over hundreds of years. | ||
| And it's disrespectful. | ||
| Respectful to all these people that have been studying this stuff for centuries and building upon all of the knowledge of the people before them. | ||
| Like when a guy, like here's a perfect example that you can relate to martial arts. | ||
| What we're seeing today, when you see guys like yourself or guys like Damian Maia or guys like Wonderboy or any of the top fighters today or Mighty Mouse, you're seeing the highest expression of martial arts that has ever existed in the world. | ||
| It is a fact. | ||
| It's an undeniable fact. | ||
| Anybody that tells me the people from the past were better, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. | ||
| There's no chance in hell. | ||
| This is an undeniable fact, an objective fact. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, this didn't happen immediately. | ||
| It didn't happen because one guy figured out how to fight. | ||
| Like, there's this one guy in Brooklyn that has this fucking street fighting class. | ||
| It's got this deadly touch of death that he could do to people. | ||
| And all this other things you've been doing. | ||
| It's all bullshit. | ||
| They think that chokes work. | ||
| Chokes don't work. | ||
| They don't work on me. | ||
| Chokes don't work. | ||
| And you go back to your friend. | ||
| Chokes don't work. | ||
| The earth is flat? | ||
| It's flat? | ||
| Are you sure it's flat? | ||
| It's fucking bananas to think that someone is going to be able to... | ||
| You can manipulate the weak minds so easy. | ||
| It's not even the weak minds. | ||
| It's the uninformed minds that are busy and that watch YouTube videos. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| It's not even that you're weak. | ||
| Because a lot of times when people speak well... | ||
| So what about this lizard people? | ||
| Have you seen that shit? | ||
| What the fuck is that? | ||
| It's all bullshit. | ||
| It's all bullshit. | ||
| These are people that are aliens, but they... | ||
| Have you seen the YouTube videos? | ||
| Have you seen them? | ||
| I've seen plenty of them. | ||
| That was one of the David Icke things, right? | ||
| He believed that all of the elites were reptilians. | ||
| Reptilians, that's what it is. | ||
| If you defend that, you're a reptilian. | ||
| And even if you defend that you are a reptilian, even... | ||
| Are you putting it up? | ||
| Oh yeah, did you see that? | ||
| Said he is investigating a possible extraterrestrial signal from deep space. | ||
| Yeah, they said this is not a drill. | ||
| That's the movie Contact. | ||
| Yeah, literally. | ||
| Yeah, literally. | ||
| She's in it, too. | ||
| That movie was dope as fuck. | ||
| Yeah, well, that's the image. | ||
| Right, gotcha. | ||
| But this is a real SETI signal that they're investigating. | ||
| It is amazing, man. | ||
| That movie, Contact, was fucking badass, by the way. | ||
| I love that movie. | ||
| I mean there has to be there has to be something outside of our realm. | ||
| There's not just something. | ||
| Here's how infinity is best explained. | ||
| This is the best definition that I've read. | ||
| Not only is the universe infinite, but what that means is if you exist Everything that has ever happened on this earth in the exact same order, every pebble falling into the same crevice over and over again, I mean with no variation at all, has not just happened before. | ||
| Every word I've said, including that pause, has taken place in exactly the same way. | ||
| Not just once. | ||
| But an infinite number of times where there is no end. | ||
| Why do you say that? | ||
| Because that's what real infinity is. | ||
| So we can't understand infinity because our brains... | ||
| Like, if you tell someone, hey, we drank six Budweiser's. | ||
| Man, you guys must have got fucked up. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| You get those numbers, right? | ||
| Do you really understand, like, when someone says 6,000 miles, you go, okay, all right, well, the United States is how many thousand miles? | ||
| You gotta go, how many thousand miles past that? | ||
| It gets a little blurry, right? | ||
| And then you go, oh, well, the moon is 250,000 miles away. | ||
| You go, what? | ||
| How far is that? | ||
| And you start thinking, well, the moon is, you know, how far is the sun? | ||
| And that's a million. | ||
| Well, they found this fucking planet that's Earth-like, and it's four light-years away. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| What's four light-years? | ||
| How fast does light go? | ||
| I'm lost, right? | ||
| 200 feet a second, right? | ||
| So what we have is senses and what we have is an understanding of our environment that's immediate to us because we're basically monkeys that just a few thousand years ago were worried about being eaten by shit, right? | ||
| So finally we reach the stage where we don't have to worry too much about being eaten by shit, which is why shark videos are so awesome to us, right? | ||
| So now you're on evolution. | ||
| Well, I'm just saying this is a recent state where we're trying to understand things past our immediate area of things that are going to eat us. | ||
| So we don't really have the capacity or the need, or we've never had the need before, to try to understand what the fuck 250 million miles is, or 250,000 miles, or four light years. | ||
| It's too confusing to us. | ||
| It's hard for us to grasp. | ||
| So when someone starts talking about infinity, It's impossible to grasp because what infinity means is there's no end. | ||
| It never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever ends. | ||
| So everything on this earth that's ever happened, like in the universe, not only is there a cowboy that never found that rec center and never got into fighting, but there's infinite varieties that Of all the different lives of Cowboy, | ||
| with every single different step you took, and infinite numbers of each one of those individual choices with every single word, every single phrase, every single thought, all in the exact same order, taking place an infinite number of times. | ||
| I need DMT to understand this. | ||
| That's not even going to work. | ||
| I don't understand it. | ||
| I'm saying it and I don't understand it. | ||
| Because it's impossible to understand. | ||
| The universe has no end. | ||
| This is the main mind blower of the universe. | ||
| Inside every galaxy, you look up there, there's hundreds of millions of galaxies. | ||
| Inside every galaxy is a supermassive black hole that's one half of one percent of the mass of the galaxy. | ||
| Scientists believe it is entirely possible that you go through that black hole and you hit an infinite number of other universes. | ||
| That each one of those is a new universe. | ||
| Like every black hole you go into it is a new universe. | ||
| In that universe there's hundreds of billions of galaxies. | ||
| Each one has a black hole in the center of it. | ||
| Each one of those takes you to another universe of hundreds of millions and billions of galaxies and each one of them has a black hole and it goes on and on and on and on and on and there's no No end. | ||
| So this infinite universe that we see is one of infinite universes that we can't even possibly understand. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| There's no end to any of it. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| So, from this podcast, we're going to go to the Church of Scientology and learn the truth. | ||
| For $500. | ||
| Because we need to know. | ||
| I need to put you to an e-meter. | ||
| For only $500. | ||
| And then for a million, I'll give you the secret. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah, you have to blow someone. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| That's what I hear to get the secret. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm out. | |
| I'm out. | ||
| I ate your tobacco. | ||
| I'm out. | ||
| How much worse is blowing a guy than eating tobacco? | ||
| The light year is worse. | ||
| How many light years? | ||
| What is a light year? | ||
| What are we talking here? | ||
| Light years. | ||
| Budweiser's pissed now. | ||
| They're talking about blowing guys! | ||
| Pull the plug on Cerrone! | ||
| There's some fat guy with a guz, been jealous of you the whole time, very upset. | ||
| His tie's flopping around, he's running down the office right now listening to this. | ||
| Have you heard Cerrone? | ||
| They're sponsoring this guy? | ||
| Damn it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're talking about sucking dicks and kicking ass! | |
| Eating pussy and kicking ass. | ||
| Come on now. | ||
| We did talk about that one line where it's like, wait, what? | ||
| Wait, what? | ||
| I saw a dude got that tattooed on his arm. | ||
| Sucking dick and kicking ass. | ||
| Yes, he did. | ||
| It was on Instagram. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| See if he can find it. | ||
| He sent it to Wheeler Walker. | ||
| Wheeler probably put it on his Instagram. | ||
| Wheeler is a different guy, isn't he? | ||
| Well, he is a different guy. | ||
| He's a different guy. | ||
| I knew him before he was Wheeler. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah, I know the real him. | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| What do you mean the real him? | ||
| See? | ||
| Eating pussies, sucking dick, and kicking ass. | ||
| In the American colors. | ||
| Well, it's not that much of a secret, so I can talk about it, but Wheeler Walker Jr. is a guy named Ben Hoffman. | ||
| He's a comedian from Kentucky. | ||
| He created Wheeler Walker Jr. Am I supposed to talk about this? | ||
| Why not? | ||
| It's obvious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's out now. | |
| Everybody knows it. | ||
| It was on his show. | ||
| But he just rides it into the rocks. | ||
| Like, he comes on the podcast as Wheeler Walker, keeps the sunglasses on, he's got the full beard, but he's also been on the podcast as Ben Hoffman. | ||
| So when he's Wheeler Walker, is he just talking reckless? | ||
| He's a wild man! | ||
| He's just, he's saying what he really believes when it comes to country music, because he really is an absolute country music fan. | ||
| What is this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
The fuck is this shit, man? | |
| When we hear this, hold on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Snapchat without the dicks? | |
| Hold on. | ||
| Can you reboot it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, Instagram's weird like that, right? | ||
| Here it goes. | ||
| Let's hear what he says. | ||
| What the fuck is this shit, man? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Snapchat without the dicks? | |
| Thumbs down, dude. | ||
| Need them dicks. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| It's just ridiculous and funny, man. | ||
| I'm a huge fan of what he's doing. | ||
| He's wild, bro. | ||
| See, corporate America would have never created that, and that's how he exists. | ||
| He exists because he came up with this on his own, and the country music world is freaking the fuck out. | ||
| Freaking the fuck out. | ||
| Because this guy's selling out arenas. | ||
| I mean, Wheeler Walker Jr., since he's been on our podcast, that was just when he was starting to catch on. | ||
| When he came on the podcast, he was already getting some momentum. | ||
| It was just starting to catch on. | ||
| And since then, the more these videos get shared online, the more people start laughing their asses off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
His shows are fucking huge! | |
| Sold out! | ||
| Giant places! | ||
| And he's killing it! | ||
| You're plugging him huge again. | ||
| They didn't know it was coming, man. | ||
| They didn't know it was coming. | ||
| You know why they didn't know? | ||
| Because they're trying to make a Luke Bryan. | ||
| No disrespect, Luke. | ||
| I hear you're a great guy. | ||
| Cameron Haynes is a friend with you. | ||
| I shouldn't say Luke Bryan because I actually like some of his songs. | ||
| Let me think of a guy who's like, who's a shitty... | ||
| Here's one that Wheeler Walker always talks about. | ||
| The Florida Georgia line. | ||
| I don't know anything about those guys. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| What do you know? | ||
| Do you know them? | ||
| I know them. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Let's just drop it. | ||
| Let's just drop it. | ||
| Are you friends with those dudes? | ||
| I mean, I don't know about friends. | ||
| They wouldn't call me and wish me happy birthday. | ||
| That's what you're asking. | ||
| Wheeler Walker calls it rap music for people who are scared of black folks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, wow. | |
| He was talking about how they're throwing their hands up. | ||
| They seem like fine folks. | ||
| They seem like great guys. | ||
| But... | ||
| What he's talking about on stage when he's doing, what Wheeler's doing, is something that no corporate entity or no PR firm would ever allow. | ||
| Oh, ever allow. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| But look how goddamn popular it is. | ||
| Because people like crazy. | ||
| They like crazy. | ||
| I mean, so do you know who Riff Raff is? | ||
| No. | ||
| Is he a rapper? | ||
| Go ahead, Paul. | ||
| Sounds like a rapper. | ||
| He is a white rapper. | ||
| And his raps are like sitting with Joe, drinking bud, fucking bitches, kicking ass. | ||
| That's like his rap. | ||
| Similar. | ||
| It's a lot similar. | ||
| But, I mean, he's... | ||
| You talk about it sells out millions. | ||
| This guy's crazy, though. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| He made his thing off... | ||
| G's the Gents on VH1, I think it was. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| He's out of control. | ||
| So I did a monster signing. | ||
| He's sponsored by monsters. | ||
| So I did a monster signing with this guy. | ||
| And he was two and a half hours late. | ||
| He's got BET tattooed on his neck. | ||
| What the fuck did you expect? | ||
| MTV. But BET as well. | ||
| Yeah, he's wild. | ||
| Tell him he's white. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Tell him. | |
| He's out of control. | ||
| So this is the same. | ||
| Oh, he does have BET right there on his neck. | ||
| So yeah, he talked about the same thing. | ||
| He's outlandish, man. | ||
| Tiptoeing in my Jordans is one of his songs. | ||
| Tiptoeing in my Jordans? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a hit. | ||
| People, they want something outside the norm. | ||
| And a good percentage of the people that are listening to this right now are stuck. | ||
| Living some life where you have to pretend all day long that you don't think certain things. | ||
| I like the way he's dressed. | ||
| He's wild, man. | ||
| Did you ever sag your pants like that? | ||
| No. | ||
| Good for you. | ||
| No, my dick's big enough to hold my pants up. | ||
| God bless you. | ||
| Sagging pants is one of the things that frustrates me the most about this youth culture. | ||
| I would have thought that with the UFC around, people would understand. | ||
| Skinny and sagging is a bad combo. | ||
| That's a bad combo. | ||
| That's confused. | ||
| It is confused. | ||
| That's confused. | ||
| But it's the new trend. | ||
| I mean, everyone wants to be in the trend, so whatever it is, it is. | ||
| What the fuck is... | ||
| Why is sagging jeans? | ||
| Why is... | ||
| What is that? | ||
| It all comes from prison, right? | ||
| I've never been to prison, so I have no fucking idea. | ||
| I think the idea was that you couldn't get a belt because you would choke yourself to death. | ||
| You could hang yourself with a belt so that everyone's pants were sort of sagging, so it made you look like you were some sort of a criminal type character if you wandered around with no belt on. | ||
| Like as if you're pretending that you're out there in prison with your Jordans on. | ||
| And pretending. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| With your underwear hanging out. | ||
| I'm a big fan of my jeans where they fit. | ||
| But other gay guys that were in prison or guys who used to fuck guys in prison that have been interviewed said that that was how guys would let you know they were ready to be taken. | ||
| They'd have their pants halfway down. | ||
| That was an international sign for take the booty. | ||
| Did you ever see that dude on like one of those prison shows they call themselves the booty bandit? | ||
| No. | ||
| You ever see that guy? | ||
| Oh my god, I'm going to introduce you to a wonderful world. | ||
| We'll get pulled from YouTube if we play this, right? | ||
| Won't we? | ||
| Yeah, most likely. | ||
| There's a world of copyrights today. | ||
| Rightly so. | ||
| I mean, they did find the Booty Bandit. | ||
| Anyway, this fucking dude was on one of those shows, like TLC or something like that to go into prison, and he would talk about all the different guys he fucked, and that booty was basically like currency. | ||
| Yeah, that's the dude. | ||
| You gotta listen to this. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| Booty is currency. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta listen to what this guy talks about. | ||
| Give me some volume, Young Jamie. | ||
| What's the matter? | ||
| We're being invaded by the government. | ||
| Yeah, we are. | ||
| Budweiser has hacked this show. | ||
| Hacked it. | ||
| Turn it off. | ||
| Enough. | ||
| They're talking about sucking dicks. | ||
| Now they're talking about booty. | ||
| Booty is currency. | ||
| We're talking about sucking dicks. | ||
| Now they're talking about booty is currency. | ||
| There's no sound on it for some reason. | ||
| No sound on this? | ||
| See if one of the other videos plays sound. | ||
| How did CM Punk get on that... | ||
| Probably because Jamie's been drooling over CM Punk videos. | ||
| Go back to the one you were just on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
CM Punk was on the side there. | |
| Suggestions. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right there. | |
| Joe Rogan on CM Punk. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| What did you say? | ||
| Nothing good. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Nothing bad. | ||
| I don't know anything. | ||
| No one knows anything. | ||
| No one knows anything. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| I mean, they want me to say things. | ||
| Here he is, a booty bandit. | ||
| Speaks on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| This isn't working. | ||
| This is not the same video. | ||
| Go to the one... | ||
| So we just figured out how to get it to talk? | ||
| Here he goes. | ||
| You got two things playing, Jamie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Somebody put a laugh track on it? | |
| Oh. | ||
| A what? | ||
| They put a laugh track on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Here's the raw version of it. | |
| Go ahead. | ||
| It doesn't have sound. | ||
| Oh, so it's a bad video? | ||
| Give us the cliff notes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| Well, the dude was just talking about fucking guys in prison. | ||
| And using it for currency. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Oh, the CM Punk thing. | ||
| I didn't say anything bad about him. | ||
| You can't say anything about him. | ||
| They want me to hype it up. | ||
| It's very interesting. | ||
| He did the right thing. | ||
| He went to a real good camp. | ||
| He didn't fight for two whole years. | ||
| He'd just been training. | ||
| Which you would have to. | ||
| Yeah, apparently he's got some smokers. | ||
| Because you can't... | ||
| There's no way you could learn a decade of skills in three months. | ||
| No, and that kid he's fighting is good. | ||
| The kid who's fighting can scrap. | ||
| I like the way he took that dude's back. | ||
| I like the way he choked him out, showed real good technique. | ||
| He knows how to fight. | ||
| Like, it's not going to be an easy fight. | ||
| No, I mean, and for CM Punk, it's... | ||
| To fight someone in the UFC is... | ||
| Let's call him Phil. | ||
| Phil. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Fair enough. | ||
| That's his name, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's going to be Phil Brooks when he fights, I think. | ||
| I'm pretty sure. | ||
| No, they're coming out of the punk. | ||
| Are they really saying CM Punk? | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Because I don't know. | ||
| Well, they must have made a deal with the WWE so they could use Brock Lesnar. | ||
| The UFC owns everything. | ||
| Talk about Luminati. | ||
| The Luminati. | ||
| The Luminati. | ||
| They own your likeness for life. | ||
| Is that necessary? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think when I'm 80, I should be able to get that back. | ||
| LAUGHTER Is there another sport that owns your likeness? | ||
| Does the NFL own your likeness? | ||
| For life. | ||
| CM Punk, zero. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There it is. | |
| See, they got him at zero. | ||
| And this dude's only 2-0. | ||
| But the kid's good. | ||
| How is he in the UFC at 2-0? | ||
| Because just for this fight. | ||
| That's how he's in there. | ||
| Well, that's not fair. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| It's not fair. | ||
| But it is. | ||
| Because it doesn't matter. | ||
| It's not like he's taking a fight away from somebody. | ||
| No. | ||
| We've got to see somebody. | ||
| Look, if the UFC wants to maximize the CM Punk thing. | ||
| Wait, why does it say 185-170? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait. | |
| That's just a mistake. | ||
| On whose part? | ||
| Somebody wrote it in there. | ||
| They fuck up all the time. | ||
| These kids are barely paying attention. | ||
| And Sam Punk in this shot does not look like a WWE wrestler. | ||
| No. | ||
| Well, he's natural. | ||
| I mean, that's part of his whole shtick. | ||
| That's USADA. Yeah. | ||
| Well, he's always been natural. | ||
| Even if you see him in the WWE. Oh, yeah, that's right. | ||
| We've talked about him and I've talked about him. | ||
| He's straight edge. | ||
| No booze ever. | ||
| No nothing ever. | ||
| No pot. | ||
| No nothing. | ||
| No steroids. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Probably doesn't even take vitamins. | ||
| His dog's name is Larry. | ||
| We've talked about this. | ||
| Yeah, good luck with all that, dude. | ||
| Good luck with all that living life sober. | ||
| Oh, I'm sure you're a great guy to hang around with. | ||
| Oh, I'm sure the stories and the fun that come out of his mouth are unreal, huh? | ||
| Definitely not a control freak. | ||
| Definitely not, like, super weird about, like, certain subjects. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huh. | |
| I'm with you, man. | ||
| We found alcohol in hallucinogenics for a reason. | ||
| How dare you pretend you're smarter than all the people before you that have learned how fun it is to party? | ||
| It's the finger pointers. | ||
| The finger pointers get mad at you, but they're the same ones drinking in their basement by themselves. | ||
| They wish. | ||
| Some of them don't. | ||
| Some of them just keep it rigid forever. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think there's a lot of people that just cling on to whatever ridiculous notions they have of this life, and they get some sort of happiness in having control. | ||
| There's a certain sort of happiness in their routine, you know? | ||
| Like, you know, some people who only eat, I only eat for performance. | ||
| I don't really care about the taste. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Fuck off. | ||
| Fuck all the way off. | ||
| All the way off. | ||
| Like, what do you mean you're a vegan? | ||
| What the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| People don't want anybody to die. | ||
| There's the Olympic power lifter. | ||
| Who's a vegan? | ||
| He's a vegan. | ||
| That's pretty impressive. | ||
| Test that motherfucker regularly. | ||
| Well, the last two years he's a vegan. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Still very impressive. | ||
| He still can compete. | ||
| And he feels stronger than he ever has. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| No, it's not amazing. | ||
| It's bullshit. | ||
| You need a fucking medium, juicy, blood dripping out steak. | ||
| That's how I feel, but I'm not that dude. | ||
| I don't think anybody should tell me that I can't eat meat, and I don't think I should be able to tell anybody that they have to eat meat. | ||
| I think if you're this dude that has it in your head that you don't want an animal to die, because you sync up with all these animals, and you feel like, if I can get through this life without an animal dying on my behalf... | ||
| That's better. | ||
| Okay, in this day and age, sure. | ||
| But let's take away everything and say you are just out there on your own. | ||
| You're going to have to eat. | ||
| You're going to have to. | ||
| You're going to fucking have to. | ||
| You can only pick so many fucking berries. | ||
| There's only so many berries that grow seasonally. | ||
| It's not enough calories. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's not enough protein. | ||
| We are made... | ||
| I mean, the vegans talk about gorillas, they only eat bananas. | ||
| They actually eat leaves and shit. | ||
| They only get bananas at the zoo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sorry. | |
| You ever see a gorilla with a banana in the wild? | ||
| Now they're eating like bamboo stalks and shit. | ||
| I mean, regardless, we're not... | ||
| We're not gorillas. | ||
| We're not. | ||
| We're omnivores. | ||
| We are made to kill gorillas and eat them. | ||
| No, I don't think people eat. | ||
| They definitely eat gorillas, right? | ||
| I mean, if it was eat a bamboo shoot or a fucking gorilla, I'm taking the gorilla down. | ||
| But I think they eat gorillas anyway. | ||
| I know they eat a lot of monkeys. | ||
| They call it bushmeat. | ||
| Bushmeat is a real issue in some endangered species because they'll shoot chimps and shit like that and they'll eat them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If it's you not eating or you eating a chimp, you're eating a chimp. | ||
| A buddy of mine was in Bolivia for that show Meat Eater. | ||
| He hosts that show, Steven Rinella. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they shot a monkey and they cooked a monkey and he ate it. | ||
| I heard monkey brain's amazing. | ||
| I'd do it. | ||
| I'd eat the fucking, suck the eyeballs out of his skull. | ||
| Budweiser's like, that's it! | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's it! | |
| Enough! | ||
| Call Dana White! | ||
| Enough! | ||
| Suck the eyeballs out of a monkey skull! | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
while he's holding a Budweiser that says America oh shit I'm glad I can make you laugh I sucked the eyeballs out of the monkeys. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| This is all pre-DMT. How about that? | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| God, when I come back, I'm going to be a whole new man. | ||
| Yeah, man, we have a real hard time eating monkeys. | ||
| I wouldn't be into eating monkeys. | ||
| I don't have a hard time eating anything. | ||
| You would eat a monkey for sure? | ||
| Yeah, if you fucking cooked up a monkey right now, I would eat it. | ||
| I would eat just about anything. | ||
| Would you eat primitive man? | ||
| Like, would you eat a Neanderthal? | ||
| So if we were on the movie Alive, and my plane crashed, and I had to eat some ass, sometimes I eat ass for fun, you know what I mean? | ||
| I mean, it's a different kind of ass, but yeah, I'm gonna go in. | ||
| I hope you don't eat that. | ||
| You're doing it wrong. | ||
| Are you using a spoon? | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| That movie is not real. | ||
| Listen, if you are a man and you don't need to ask there's something wrong with you... | ||
| Someone else is gonna. | ||
| Yeah, someone's gonna. | ||
| There's gonna be a dude who says, I really don't give a fuck, and he's gonna come along. | ||
| Yeah, I would literally eat, I mean, whatever. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| You wanna kill a rattlesnake? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's eat it. | |
| Yeah, especially if I gotta stay alive. | ||
| I'm not a vegan, obviously, but taking the point of vegans, I can see what they're trying to do is they're trying to not contribute to any animals dying. | ||
| But they're put here to die. | ||
| Is that a bad thing to say? | ||
| I don't mean it like that, but I mean, we have to eat and we are the top of the food chain. | ||
| We definitely are the top of the food chain. | ||
| And this is the way I used to describe it. | ||
| There's a war going on between all the animals on this planet. | ||
| And the war is for survival. | ||
| And we are so far ahead of the rest of the people competing in the war, we forgot it's a war. | ||
| And we forgot that we have these prison colonies in our cities. | ||
| We call them zoos. | ||
| That's a fucking prison colony that shows you that we have won the battle over these stupid fucking cunty alligators and jaguars and shit. | ||
| And then you have dumb people like me that go swimming and chase sharks and they get eaten and they're like, ha, one for the low column. | ||
| Has anybody ever gone, like, getting eaten when they were diving? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| It's not very common at all. | ||
| Really uncommon, right? | ||
| I think it's maybe one? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Maybe ever, right? | ||
| He's probably an asshole. | ||
| Probably cut himself. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or just chumming, trying to get close to a shark like I'm gonna do. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You can do that, right? | ||
| You can do that? | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| Chum the water a little bit. | ||
| Bring them in. | ||
| As long as you have a lot of chum. | ||
| And some sort of a pokey stick. | ||
| I don't know if that would work. | ||
| I think once a shark is in I'm eating you mode, I think you're getting eaten. | ||
| Alright, let's play a little game. | ||
| I got a little game for you. | ||
| If you could pick any animal that... | ||
| Alright, let's put you in a concrete room. | ||
| I don't care the size. | ||
| Any animal that I could fuck up? | ||
| I'll fuck up a squirrel. | ||
| But you're naked. | ||
| You have nothing. | ||
| I'll fuck a squirrel up naked or with clothes. | ||
| Squirrel's dead. | ||
| Squirrel would be your animal. | ||
| That'd be the highest you'd get. | ||
| I will fuck a squirrel up with confidence. | ||
| Bet the house on me. | ||
| Bam. | ||
| Squirrel. | ||
| A three-pound squirrel coming at you. | ||
| Three pounds is big. | ||
| I'm talking about a regular squirrel. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| A one-and-a-half-pound squirrel. | ||
| One-and-a-half-pound squirrel. | ||
| But seriously, have you ever seen a one-and-a-half-pound rat running at you? | ||
| It would scare the fuck out of you. | ||
| I think a cat would be a vicious fight. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Clawing, biting. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I have buddies of mine saying, oh, fuck that dog. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, I don't know, man. | ||
| I think if that dog's coming at you in a vicious way, I don't know if you can... | ||
| If you could take that, you know? | ||
| Yeah, especially if it's a good-sized one. | ||
| Like, any dog over 70 pounds, like a German Shepherd or something like that. | ||
| Even a 35-pound pit bull. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Well, 35-pound pit bulls would kill a 70-pound German Shepherd. | ||
| That's a tricky one. | ||
| Because those dogs, that's a different sort of a beast. | ||
| Now, what if you fought a shark? | ||
| Would it have to be in the water? | ||
| It would have to be in the water. | ||
| It would have to be in the water. | ||
| So, no water. | ||
| No, like, crocodile. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No nine-pound crocodile. | ||
| Nine-pound crocodile, man. | ||
| You don't want that. | ||
| You don't want that in your life. | ||
| But I think you would probably win. | ||
| You would get fucked up. | ||
| Ten-pound rattlesnake. | ||
| Ten-pound rattlesnake. | ||
| That's a big fucking rattlesnake. | ||
| I just posted on my Instagram. | ||
| How long was it? | ||
| About as long as me. | ||
| He was mean, bro. | ||
| Have you guys ever seen the movie Rango with the rattlesnake that runs the town? | ||
| This motherfucker sat three feet off the ground and was like moving and dancing like literally three feet off the ground. | ||
| I've never seen anything like it. | ||
| He was fucking pissed off. | ||
| He was the Cowboy Cerrone of rattlesnakes. | ||
| Yeah, and he was even more mad. | ||
| I kept thumping him in the head with a little snake catcher thing. | ||
| Oh, you were trying to catch him with one of those hooks? | ||
| Yeah, because we got a little hospital. | ||
| There he is right there. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| So I broke the rattler. | ||
| So he broke the rattler because when I grabbed his ass, he would fucking anaconda roll up that stick trying to get me. | ||
| He would like roll. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit. | |
| Look at the size of him. | ||
| Oh man, he was a big boy. | ||
| He was pissed the fuck off. | ||
| So there's a hospital right down the street that you take him and they milk him. | ||
| 500 bucks they give you. | ||
| So I could kill him or I take him and get 500 bucks. | ||
| It's a good move. | ||
| Yeah, so then they, you know, but we have, this is probably like my 8th or 9th one I've caught this year. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Oh, wow, so that's how they get the rattlesnake venom. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, there he goes. | |
| Look at him snaking up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| We're putting him in the toolbox. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| So what happens to the rattler now? | ||
| He doesn't have a rattler anymore? | ||
| No, they grow back every time they re-skin or whatever that's called. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| So they'll grow back every one of those levels? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And each one of those levels is how many... | ||
| Don't quote me. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I just know the bigger and badder they get, the more buttons they get. | ||
| Yeah, like each year, right? | ||
| They got a new one? | ||
| Yeah, fuck, I wish I had the info for that, but I just know he was a big bitch. | ||
| That's an old rattlesnake, man. | ||
| That's a dude who's seen some shit. | ||
| Seen some shit. | ||
| Yeah, my dog just got bit the other day, right in the nose. | ||
| Swell up? | ||
| Yeah, swole all the way up. | ||
| I thought I was going to... | ||
| I was calling the girl, telling her, hey man, I'm going to have to put this dog down. | ||
| Did you take it to the vet? | ||
| No, I'm not paying $1,500 for nothing. | ||
| I got a three cent solution to that. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Hey, I love my animals. | ||
| He lived. | ||
| He shook it off. | ||
| He made it. | ||
| Right on the nose, man. | ||
| He took it. | ||
| His face swallowed for about a week. | ||
| Went down, got him some pillows, sent it, penicillin, gave him a couple shots, and called it a day. | ||
| I had two different dogs got bit. | ||
| One dog got bit twice. | ||
| I had to take him to the vet. | ||
| I had a crazy dog named Frank Sinatra. | ||
| So you paid $1,500. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And it worked. | ||
| Yeah, I had to. | ||
| I'm with you. | ||
| See, the way your bank account and my bank account are set up, I don't have that $1,500 put it on a dog bill. | ||
| You gotta put that aside and stop buying jet skis. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No, because I'm too busy living life having fun, man. | ||
| I understand. | ||
| But to me, an animal that I'm taking care of becomes family. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He is family. | |
| I have to take care of him. | ||
| So if it was my kid, I would spend $1,500. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, duh. | |
| So if it's my dog, I'm still going to spend that $1,500. | ||
| Yeah, but then a dog's just a dog. | ||
| But a dog can make it. | ||
| A dog can make it. | ||
| A little kid is not going to make it if they get bit by a rattlesnake. | ||
| We're so soft. | ||
| Could you fucking imagine that? | ||
| We're so weak. | ||
| Taking a fucking... | ||
| So I almost got bit by a rattlesnake. | ||
| I was out of the lake walking around. | ||
| One struck at my ankle. | ||
| Barely missed me. | ||
| So I went and grabbed my gun out of the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Truck. | |
| And I sat there and I shot this motherfucker. | ||
| BING! And instead of curing up and running off, that fucking snake would just lunge at me. | ||
| I'd shoot it again. | ||
| After you shot it? | ||
| I shot him five times. | ||
| I just shot. | ||
| Yeah, everywhere. | ||
| Everywhere by his head because I'm a terrible fucking shot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So... | |
| Well, they shoot him in the head, you gotta get way too close! | ||
| So I'm ripping this dude's body apart and he's like, somehow still summoning the muscle to stay upright and fucking lash at me. | ||
| They're like devil dogs, man, for sure. | ||
| Well, you think of what they are. | ||
| When people talk about reptilians, what are they really worried about? | ||
| They're not worried about people turning into panda bears. | ||
| They're worried about people being reptiles, so people being completely cold and focused on the task at hand with no emotions. | ||
| That's what a reptile is, man. | ||
| That's what people are worried about. | ||
| We're putting a sixer back here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's going good. | ||
| We're going down. | ||
| So hopefully you have something to talk about for three seconds. | ||
| Don't worry about it, man. | ||
| We're talking about rattlesnakes and gophers. | ||
| It is kind of weird that some animals have poison. | ||
| Like, some creatures that live on this planet have poison. | ||
| And they can fuck you up. | ||
| And they live amongst us. | ||
| Like, there's rattlesnakes all around where we are, right here. | ||
| You know, in the valley? | ||
| You can go out in those hillsides, anywhere, like, go down the 118 and go on those hiking trails. | ||
| People find rattlesnakes there all day. | ||
| If you have a house and you live anywhere in the Los Angeles area, it's entirely possible that if you leave an area undisturbed long enough, a black widow will form a little nest there. | ||
| Entirely possible. | ||
| I've seen, I don't know how many black widows in my life. | ||
| A hundred at least. | ||
| Maybe hundreds. | ||
| I saw two last week here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In this place? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| In the studio! | ||
| That fucking studio's haunted! | ||
| We got them. | ||
| We got them. | ||
| On that SETI alien signal thing, did you look into that at all? | ||
| Did you read their article that came out? | ||
| I think the really fun title is all I want to get into. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| This is why. | ||
| Because I want to hope that there's actually an alien signal. | ||
| So when you go into it and they explain the likelihood of it being an alien signal, that's super depressing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| This was the thing I wanted to ask you about, though. | ||
| It's called a Dyson shell. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| No. | ||
| They said one of the hypotheses of if this was possibly a civilization, that it's one of two types of civilization. | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| It's a Russian named... | ||
| kardesh of type 2 civilization so this is a dyson sphere this is a massive structure it's three meters thick that would encompass the earth's orbit including the sun and venus harnessing the energy to then shoot out an omnidirectional signal which is what got which is what they picked up Wait a minute. | ||
| What? | ||
| So it's three meters thick and it covers the whole solar system? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The first three levels of it up into Earth. | ||
| It would have to be that? | ||
| That's what this hypothesis says. | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| The radius of this circle. | ||
| In order to make that sort of energy? | ||
| If it's not this... | ||
| It's a type 1 civilization, which is sort of like what we are. | ||
| We can harness our stars, the sun, like we can do solar panels, and then shoot out a directional signal pointed at Earth, which is how we picked it up. | ||
| But isn't it also possible that it's some sort of a galactic event? | ||
| I think that's probably more likely that it's just a blip and they don't know what the blip is yet. | ||
| I think it's too big, Donald Cerrone. | ||
| So we went from rattlesnakes back to space? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Jamie jumped right back in. | ||
| He's been waiting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| He loves space. | ||
| He loves the space. | ||
| I love space too. | ||
| I wish I could explain it a little more. | ||
| Nobody can. | ||
| I mean, even Neil deGrasse Tyson. | ||
| Neil deGrasse Tyson had a real fucking good point about the presidential candidates. | ||
| He said there should be an option that's called none of the above, and that when none of the above wins, we have to start all over again with new people. | ||
| That is a very fucking smart option. | ||
| So while we're touching on religion... | ||
| I'm gonna try one of those again where I don't swallow it. | ||
| Oh, you're going in again? | ||
| What is your outlook on the presidential election here? | ||
| Well, it's good, because it shows how fucking stupid this whole job is of having this one person who's a part of a two-party system. | ||
| We have to, like, be a registered Republican or Democrat to vote in the primaries and decide who these people are that get to represent this party or that party, and they get to this position, and there's only two of them. | ||
| It's preposterous. | ||
| It's ridiculous that these are the people we have to choose from. | ||
| Whether you like Donald Trump or you like Hillary Clinton, you have to realize at this point this is not the smart way to do it. | ||
| I'm packed. | ||
| Yeah, pack it up. | ||
| Tight. | ||
| So put it in and ball it up with your tongue. | ||
| Because before, it's like lawn trimmings. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I just dropped it off inside my mouth. | |
| I can't believe you're going in for another one. | ||
| I'm pumped on it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I get it now. | ||
| Alright, you got it. | ||
| I got it all packed in there. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Hopefully I don't swallow it. | ||
| I hope not. | ||
| That's a weird look though, isn't it? | ||
| Mmm. | ||
| You're good. | ||
| You're doing alright. | ||
| It doesn't taste bad, though. | ||
| That's what's interesting about it. | ||
| It tastes like winter green gum. | ||
| Yeah, a little like winter green gum. | ||
| How do you feel about girls chewing? | ||
| In my high school, a lot of girls chewed. | ||
| Ooh, yeah. | ||
| Those are girls that should move closer to cities. | ||
| Sweetie, there's other options. | ||
| Okay, I know you want to fit in. | ||
| You want people to love you. | ||
| Try DMT. Here you go. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of these gals out there that are forced. | ||
| They go to the outer regions of civilization. | ||
| They're forced to behave like pioneers. | ||
| You know? | ||
| They gotta go out there, they gotta make their own fucking houses, they gotta shoot their own food. | ||
| No, that's... | ||
| They're out there chewing tobacco. | ||
| The Amish is gone, okay? | ||
| Let's stop that. | ||
| Stop that. | ||
| They're out there chewing tobacco, fucking... | ||
| Chewing tobacco, killing... | ||
| Shooting dogs when they get bit by rattlesnakes. | ||
| Chewing monkeys, goddammit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Heating monkeys. | |
| Sucking the eyeballs out of a monkey. | ||
| Sucking dick, kicking ass. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Wow. | ||
| We might lose listeners due to this. | ||
| Yeah, it's over. | ||
| It's over. | ||
| This podcast is over. | ||
| It's been a good run. | ||
| 840 episodes almost, right? | ||
| What is this one? | ||
| This is 840. 840. We closed it down. | ||
| We locked down with this one. | ||
| People were like, I got a life. | ||
| I can't do this anymore. | ||
| I can't listen. | ||
| I had you at work on the radio and I had to turn it off. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| What happened? | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| Shout out to all the blue collar workers out there listening in. | ||
| Shout out. | ||
| Shout out. | ||
| My people. | ||
| Shout out, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'd be laying hardwood floors had I not picked up by the UFC. You probably are in another universe somewhere out there an infinite number of times. | ||
| Working hard. | ||
| Hardwood floors. | ||
| And you're watching some other dude fight the same fights that you fought. | ||
| Cheering his ass on. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe mad. | ||
| I would probably be mad. | ||
| Probably pissed off. | ||
| I would probably... | ||
| I feel like... | ||
| I would be mad. | ||
| You probably would be mad. | ||
| If you're you and you took the run, here's what I think. | ||
| I think that you're you who is you right now is a result of a lot of these decisions. | ||
| So it'd be really interesting to see who you would be if you didn't make the same decisions. | ||
| Like who are you if you decide to never go into that rec room and learn how to fight? | ||
| Who are you if you have a fight and lose, you never come back, you never get better? | ||
| Who are you? | ||
| You know, I think who you are right now, a lot of times, is decided by a lot of the shit you've already done and how you feel about it. | ||
| Who I am, if I didn't walk into that record... | ||
| I don't know, my dad always tell me whenever I'd fuck up... | ||
| So, I was like the worst kid. | ||
| Bad. | ||
| Definitely not the worst kid. | ||
| I heard about a kid who stabbed his two-year-old sister. | ||
| I didn't do that. | ||
| That's the worst kid. | ||
| I shot my sister in the head with a slingshot. | ||
| Oops. | ||
| Pretty close. | ||
| A childish mistake. | ||
| Childish mistake. | ||
| So... | ||
| I feel like it was a rough childhood, you know, and I could only have sex on my back because I could only fuck up. | ||
| That should be the title of your book. | ||
| Yeah, my dad would say, if only you could use your powers for good instead of evil, you would make yourself out to be something great, you know, and here I am. | ||
| Telling people to suck eyeballs out of monkey brains and do DMT. Everybody is fucking different. | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| And for someone who's like you to pretend to be like your accountant is just as ridiculous as your accountant pretending to be you. | ||
| The key to this life is find out who you are. | ||
| And that is the hardest question to answer because who you are changes every day. | ||
| It's like, you gotta be true to whoever you are at the moment. | ||
| Do you believe that who you are is a sum of the five people you hang out with? | ||
| It helps. | ||
| It helps, right? | ||
| It definitely helps. | ||
| We feed off each other for sure. | ||
| You gotta surround yourself as much as you can with people that care about you, people that are... | ||
| They have the same sort of ambitions that you have in terms of like... | ||
| They have work ethic. | ||
| They're not lazy. | ||
| They don't fuck up. | ||
| They don't ruin their life constantly. | ||
| Because those people become like energy drains. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, it's not like you should totally abandon them, but you got to be real with them. | ||
| You got to let them know. | ||
| You got to say, listen, this is what's going on. | ||
| And this is how everybody's sort of looking at... | ||
| You keep doing this. | ||
| Don't do this anymore. | ||
| You're doing this because you get attention when you do it, because it's easier than succeeding. | ||
| I think especially in your line of work, I think that self-sabotage is a primary escape valve. | ||
| Who do you think the leader in the self-sabotage is? | ||
| I mean, you can go to fighters. | ||
| That's what I'm talking about. | ||
| I mean, old school fighters like Roberto Duran. | ||
| Like, Roberto Duran, right? | ||
| Beats Sugar Ray Leonard. | ||
| Duran, one of the four horsemen, man. | ||
| Packs on food, starts eating like a fucking pig, gets too fat, doesn't train hard, says no mas in the rematch. | ||
| You know, Tyson, in a lot of ways, was a self-saboteur. | ||
| Aaron Pryor became a crack addict, you know? | ||
| Got addicted to cocaine. | ||
| I heard some crazy stories about Tyson. | ||
| On a total fucking side note, you want to hear something really cool? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Rick's story fight. | ||
| I park at the RV park, right? | ||
| That's where I find my zen. | ||
| I get away from the strip. | ||
| The RV park is zen. | ||
| I hang out at the RV park. | ||
| That's another title of your book. | ||
| I go to the lake. | ||
| Guess who? | ||
| My motherfucking neighbor was. | ||
| Who? | ||
| Suge Knight's brother, Ron Knight. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| What is that like? | ||
| So, this guy, this big giant black guy comes walking over to me. | ||
| First of all, his trailer is all black with red lights. | ||
| And this guy comes over to me and he's like, Hey man! | ||
| What do y'all shit on my porch? | ||
| I said, uh, no. | ||
| No one shit on your porch? | ||
| He said, yeah, I think one of your motherfucking dogs has shit on my porch. | ||
| And I said, nah, man. | ||
| He's like, I just want to make sure it was an accident and it wasn't anything, you know, like malicious. | ||
| Like, you guys, I need to make sure my area is secure. | ||
| And I was like, nah, man. | ||
| I don't, you know, I don't think so. | ||
| That's kind of funny. | ||
| And then I look at him and I look at his rig and I'm like, hey, man. | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| Because he's in like a $3 million RV, right? | ||
| $3 million? | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| My RV's really nice and his is extra nice. | ||
| So... | ||
| He said, oh, I do a little bit of real estate. | ||
| And I said, no, you don't. | ||
| Like, really? | ||
| I said, what do you do? | ||
| And he's like, oh, man, I do a little bit of music stuff, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Death Row Records. | ||
| And I was like, oh, shit! | ||
| And then he just goes on talking about... | ||
| He's like, yeah, my name's Ron Knight. | ||
| And, you know, I was in there with Suge. | ||
| And I was like, oh, shit! | ||
| So then, of course, like any... | ||
| High schooler would. | ||
| I asked him any question you could ever imagine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What was it like in the early days of NWA? Oh, totally. | |
| Exactly. | ||
| I was that guy. | ||
| Asking him everything. | ||
| What was it like? | ||
| What was EZE like? | ||
| He told me that story that they did. | ||
| Straight Outta College was pretty right on, man. | ||
| They did a real good job. | ||
| And I asked him about Ice Cube. | ||
| And he said that Cube, he doesn't really go out and party. | ||
| He's just really to himself and making money. | ||
| Any question you could ever think of, I asked, for sure. | ||
| We sat there for all the nights leading up to the fight, and he actually stuck around, and I got his number now. | ||
| We're pals. | ||
| We went from someone shit on his porch to we're buds now. | ||
| Was it a dog that shit on his porch? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| It wasn't me. | ||
| Whatever you have to say, who shit on that dude's porch? | ||
| It wasn't me. | ||
| It wasn't me. | ||
| You know you're hanging out with some shady characters. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're right. | |
| You're hanging out with some dudes who make some odd choices. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| Well, I didn't see it. | ||
| I didn't see it. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| I was like, I don't, I mean, I said, man, that's a rude thing to do to a person. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Shit on their porch. | ||
| That's about as rude as it gets. | ||
| So then, we do the fight, and it was fun. | ||
| We have Sunday Fun Day, and I sent you that video. | ||
| What was that video you sent me? | ||
| That was the park and wreck. | ||
| Holding me at gunpoint. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because they thought... | ||
| Alright, let me back the story up. | ||
| Let me get everyone plotted in here. | ||
| So, I have two labs. | ||
| Should I send the video to him so we can play it? | ||
| Can we play the video? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Is it legal? | ||
| What we did was legal. | ||
| I mean, I don't know. | ||
| I don't want to get any of those guys in trouble. | ||
| Alright, so let's not play it. | ||
| Let's not play it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's a pretty outlandish video, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That wasn't me filming because I was too busy losing my fucking mind just like my buddy Mikey. | ||
| So, my dogs were at the marina loading the boat. | ||
| Another boat rage incident, of course, because that's what I did. | ||
| What is boat rage? | ||
| It's like road rage, but in a boat. | ||
| But I wasn't raging. | ||
| My dogs run up. | ||
| There's this guy. | ||
| He has two pit bulls. | ||
| My dogs run up to play with him. | ||
| Well, this guy starts losing his fucking mind with us. | ||
| So, it turns out All my guys run over to get our dogs. | ||
| There was no, like, conversation or any kind of fight or anything, but they grabbed the dogs. | ||
| The guy starts talking shit, and one of my buddies is like, fuck you. | ||
| The guy calls 911 and tells him—we didn't know he told him that we were pulling guns. | ||
| So we pull the boat out. | ||
| We're wiping it down, cleaning it out. | ||
| Well, the parking wreck comes in hot, thinking that we have weapons. | ||
| Right? | ||
| So— This is the wildest shit ever. | ||
| We're out there. | ||
| They're like, put your fucking hands up! | ||
| We're wearing shorts, no shirts, have no weapons, clearly. | ||
| Put our hands up, and they start talking. | ||
| They tell us to turn around and get on the ground. | ||
| As soon as they tell us to get on the ground, these other two Rangers pull up hot. | ||
| Jump out with M16s, cock and load, and point the guns at us like crazy. | ||
| Well, at this point, I lose my fucking mind because there is no reason you need to point a loaded M16 at me like that, right? | ||
| And, uh... | ||
| Yeah, so we start yelling and screaming, and in between the scream, whoever the main ranger is kind of takes charge. | ||
| He's like, just talk to me. | ||
| Don't worry about what they got going on over there. | ||
| Meanwhile, they're pointing M16s at us. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So I'm like, fuck you, motherfucker. | ||
| Shoot me, bitch. | ||
| Like, what the fuck, right? | ||
| That's the difference between you and me. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's why I start crying. | ||
| I'm just like, you fucking coward. | ||
| Like, you going to point a gun on me? | ||
| I'm in a t-shirt and shorts. | ||
| Like, fuck you, you piece of shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| And he's like, so this is what the... | ||
| I swear to God, this is what the ranger says. | ||
| Look at me. | ||
| Focus on me. | ||
| Great fight last night. | ||
| Uh, I need you guys to focus on me. | ||
| Right, so mid, mid, mid, me fucking telling this dude I'm going to fucking rip off his fucking throat. | ||
| He says great fight to you. | ||
| Great fight last night. | ||
| So are these guys, are they all aware of who you are? | ||
| Just the one guy is at this point. | ||
| How does he not tell his friends this isn't some fucking crazy meth head. | ||
| Right, and we're out there having a good time. | ||
| I'm not drinking for once in my life. | ||
| So I'm like sober, running the boat. | ||
| We're cleaning it at this point, getting ready to... | ||
| And I explained, like, my dogs got out of this guy's... | ||
| And so he says, well, they said you have weapons. | ||
| So he's like, cowboy, do you have guns? | ||
| And as any true-blooded American, I said, well, of course I have guns. | ||
| Duh. | ||
| It's in my truck. | ||
| So now the story on the other guy's part is looking more... | ||
| Realistic, right? | ||
| Like, goddammit, of course I have a fucking gun in my truck. | ||
| So they get the gun. | ||
| They run the gun. | ||
| Of course it's not stolen. | ||
| I give them my concealed carry. | ||
| And I'm like, dude, we never wielded the gun. | ||
| Like, it never got pulled out. | ||
| It just so happens, dumb luck, that I have a gun. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And, uh, I mean, it all worked itself out in the end, but... | ||
| Cops are in a tricky position right there. | ||
| Because, like, in one way, like, they don't know what the fuck is going on. | ||
| They show up. | ||
| Who the hell knows? | ||
| Somebody tells you something, you have to show up like that. | ||
| And I didn't know they showed up thinking that we had guns. | ||
| So I'm losing my fucking mind. | ||
| Like, hey man, all this shit in the news, you can't just pull a fucking gun pointing at me saying you're going to shoot me. | ||
| So I'm losing my mind. | ||
| And my buddy Mikey is totally off the fucking radar. | ||
| Like, shoot me walking towards these cops. | ||
| Oh no! | ||
| That's not good. | ||
| It was wild. | ||
| So in the grand scheme of things, once they told us the guy called and said you guys pulled weapons on him, I see where they're coming from, but it was just fucking outlandish, man. | ||
| It all worked out. | ||
| That's so common, though. | ||
| That's so common. | ||
| People do that shit all the time. | ||
| They say you pulled a gun on them. | ||
| Like, what kind of... | ||
| And I was telling the cops, like, what kind of... | ||
| I mean, you can't just do that. | ||
| You can't just call the cops and say, oh, this guy pulled a gun on me. | ||
| Well, you should get in trouble if you do do it. | ||
| It shouldn't be a free pass. | ||
| You shouldn't be able to say, the guy pulled a gun on me and not go to jail. | ||
| Yeah, it should be the same. | ||
| If I pulled a gun, get in trouble, and had the guy... | ||
| You know, you shouldn't be able to just say, oh, this guy pulled a gun on me. | ||
| Yeah, well, it's a conspiracy. | ||
| You're conspiring to tell a false narrative so that you can get a guy in trouble for something you never did, and that guy winds up going to jail. | ||
| Like, you're a fucking terrible person. | ||
| You put a guy in jail for something that he absolutely didn't do in the first place. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| I mean, that's why I had to pray to the couple. | ||
| I just fought last night. | ||
| I said, first of all, there's 18 of us on the boat. | ||
| There's 18 of us sitting here. | ||
| Like, you really think one guy, we're gonna pull a gun, and there's 18 of us? | ||
| Like, any scenario you could think of in your life, like, we'd pull a gun? | ||
| Like, come on, man. | ||
| That's when the cops are like, eh, you have a good point. | ||
| They're like, yeah, what are you even talking about? | ||
| Did you get the guy over? | ||
| Did they get the guy? | ||
| No, they wouldn't even bring it up. | ||
| So... | ||
| Isn't that weird, too? | ||
| Like, you can't even just, like, have a man-to-man with the person and go, what are you doing, man? | ||
| Well, first of all, and then, you can't even have a man-to-man with the cops because you're under punk status right now. | ||
| Right, of course. | ||
| Sit down! | ||
| Everyone on the fucking curb! | ||
| They just take your humanity away, which enrages me even more. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| But they have to do it. | ||
| They have to. | ||
| I understand from their standpoint, they have to protect themselves because there's a lot of idiots out there. | ||
| It's one of those things where there's no winner there. | ||
| It's a terrible position to be in for both parties. | ||
| For them, they got lied to. | ||
| Someone told them you had a gun. | ||
| They come in thinking about their kids, their wife, their life, their fucking mother. | ||
| No one wants to see them dead. | ||
| Someone could shoot them. | ||
| Who the fuck knows what they're coming to? | ||
| They're coming to a gun. | ||
| Someone's got a gun. | ||
| You see this Chris Brown shit on the news? | ||
| No. | ||
| Have you seen this? | ||
| The cops are surrounding Chris Brown's house. | ||
| They won't let him out. | ||
| He's been there since 3 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| Cops showed up at 3 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| They're waiting on a warrant. | ||
| Some woman says he pulled a gun on him. | ||
| So he's held up in his mansion. | ||
| Helicopters are flying overhead. | ||
| I was watching on the news at the gym today. | ||
| I was like, what the fuck did Chris Brown do? | ||
| I don't know if he did anything. | ||
| Some woman says he pulled a gun on him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So... | |
| After that happened, he threw a duffel bag out that had weapons and drugs in it, apparently. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Well, that's smart. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Well, I, for one, have never thought Chris Brown to be a guy who makes irrational decisions. | ||
| I look at that gentleman, I'm like, that's the guy that I come to when I'm confused and I need some guidance. | ||
| I need some guidance. | ||
| Like you. | ||
| So maybe he should be my manager. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| How about this? | ||
| We have many levels of management. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| You come to me, I go to Chris Brown. | ||
| And then we figure it out. | ||
| We work this shit out. | ||
| Two duffel bags. | ||
| With guns. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| I swallowed some of that. | ||
| You gotta spit it out. | ||
| I got most of it. | ||
| No, it's already swallowed. | ||
| I got most of it still stuck in there, but it's hard to keep it in there. | ||
| I'm a rookie at this. | ||
| You're a rookie. | ||
| It's alright. | ||
| You're a white belt. | ||
| By the end of this podcast, you're going to be a blue belt. | ||
| I'll be a stripe. | ||
| I'll have a stripe on my belt. | ||
| White belt with a stripe. | ||
| See, I have nothing against armed forces at all. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| That was a video I sent you, and it was fucking outlandish. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| I recognize that it's a hard position to be a cop. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| With so many knuckleheads out there. | ||
| You never know. | ||
| Especially everybody carrying weapons these days. | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| Here's the other thing. | ||
| Here's where it's tough for cops. | ||
| A lot of cops are Second Amendment believers. | ||
| So they support the right of a citizen to hold arms, to have guns, and to use them in a responsible and legal manner. | ||
| It's a lot of cops. | ||
| They're fun enthusiasts. | ||
| For my theory on this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Well, it's not really my theory on them, but it's my theory of how I think they think. | ||
| So if I'm taking you... | ||
| Let's go back to scuba diving. | ||
| Let's use scuba diving as an example. | ||
| If I take you cave diving with me, right? | ||
| We're in a cave. | ||
| You run out of air. | ||
| Right? | ||
| So your only source of life is me. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So you have to grab my air out of my mouth that we now have to share. | ||
| But what if you're sucking too much air and using up mine? | ||
| I have to make the decision. | ||
| I'm going home to my girlfriend, my family. | ||
| So I feel like that's the same mentality that they have to come into these situations. | ||
| Like, they're fucking coming home to their wife and their kids. | ||
| So when I'm at it, right? | ||
| Get around the peril. | ||
| I'm running here. | ||
| So I'm living. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| At the end of the day, You already used your app. | ||
| Motherfucker, you ain't using up mine. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I understand. | ||
| So, that's why I feel like they have to come into these situations like... | ||
| Listen here, we got called on you, you pieces of shit. | ||
| I don't know the situation, but in my mind, I'm going home. | ||
| So whatever that means. | ||
| And I'm not mad at them for that. | ||
| I'm not either. | ||
| I understand that. | ||
| I understand the survival instinct. | ||
| And I understand, especially if they don't know you. | ||
| I assume if you're scuba diving with someone, that's someone who's a really close friend. | ||
| That would be a real hard issue. | ||
| It would be. | ||
| That would be way, way, way harder, in fact. | ||
| If you show up at some scene and some dude is supposedly assaulted with a deadly weapon, And you're wearing a vest and your gun's drawn. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who knows what the fuck's gonna go down? | |
| It's hard to talk with this stuff in your lip. | ||
| But you do know you're coming home to your wife and your kids. | ||
| Yeah, a lot of dudes make that decision. | ||
| There's a lot of dudes, I'm sure, though, that would be in that scuba diving scenario and say, I would rather die with my friend than let him die down here. | ||
| It's tricky. | ||
| Then don't ever come with me because I'm going home. | ||
| Don't ever come with me because I'm going home. | ||
| I'm going home. | ||
| I know that for sure. | ||
| I am going home. | ||
| That is the issue with that cave diving shit. | ||
| I watched this cave diving thing where they were exploring these ancient Mayan sites. | ||
| The only way to get to them was going through these caves. | ||
| And they would go to these caves and find all these ancient Mayan ruins. | ||
| But they're going through these caves for like hundreds of yards. | ||
| Hundreds of yards in a cave under the ocean where you're breathing out of a fucking mask. | ||
| I'm like, oh Christ, I can't. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I fucking love it. | ||
| I know you do. | ||
| So I took my buddy. | ||
| My buddies always ask me if they want to go scuba diving with me. | ||
| And they want to go cave diving. | ||
| So I took them up to... | ||
| We have a cave in the mountains. | ||
| So I just took them in the cave. | ||
| Of course you do. | ||
| We went in with... | ||
| This is dry. | ||
| We walked in. | ||
| We walked into the cave with lights. | ||
| I made them turn the lights off and find their way out. | ||
| Like, alright, worst case scenario here. | ||
| What the fuck are y'all going to do? | ||
| And they freaked out and everyone had to turn their light on. | ||
| I'm like, this cannot happen in cave diving because if we're onto the water and we lose our torch or we lose our air, pandemonium is going to fucking break out. | ||
| Although you guys fail, I'm definitely not going diving with you guys. | ||
| But just to give them a little touch of what it's like, you really don't know who you are as a person until you're put in one of those positions. | ||
| You can talk big and bold until you've practiced and been there. | ||
| Don't you feel the same way about fighting? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| I mean, that's one of the weird things about people writing articles about fighting. | ||
| It's one of the things I've had a real problem with in the past where I've even gone overboard to go after them. | ||
| I get real angry when people write real disrespectful things about fighters, about their performances, and unnecessarily insulting and not... | ||
| It's like... | ||
| We all sort of agree that people that put themselves like first responders, like firefighters, people who put themselves in the line of danger, in front of danger for us. | ||
| We give them this extra love and respect they deserve. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| But when people do dangerous shit for our entertainment, a lot of times people... | ||
| Rightly so. | ||
| There's some things that are just fucking ridiculous. | ||
| There's some ridiculous shit that people do. | ||
| You know, like parkour people are jumping from building to building. | ||
| You're like, oh, fucking Christ. | ||
| By the way, that guy's coming on the podcast, that James Kingston guy. | ||
| Can you hook him up with me? | ||
| Because I would love to do that. | ||
| Me and this motherfucker have been talking. | ||
| He scares the shit out of me just looking at his Instagram feed. | ||
| I can't imagine talking to him about stories in person, but... | ||
| But with fighters, I feel like that's such a... | ||
| It's a fucking scary, in a lot of ways, it's a noble pursuit. | ||
| Because it's so goddamn... | ||
| It's the antithesis of what your instincts tell you to do. | ||
| Yeah, fight or flight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Your instincts are telling you, get the fuck out of this. | ||
| Don't do this. | ||
| You could get hurt. | ||
| This is bad. | ||
| We don't know what's going to happen. | ||
| This is open-ended. | ||
| Anything can go wrong. | ||
| And you have to prepare for this moment for months. | ||
| In fact, Really for years, like by the time you get to a point where you're fighting Rick's story, you can't just dive in and fight Rick's story. | ||
| You've got to fight all these other people along the way. | ||
| You've got to build up the ability, the skills, and you know there's a confident path in your mind that when shit is going down, you know how to fight and you know how to execute. | ||
| And you are confident that when you get in there and all that pressure's on you, you can do it. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because you've done it. | ||
| So for someone who's on the outside, I think it's imperative, really, in this sport, especially when you consider the fact that it's so devastating when a fighter loses. | ||
| It can define their life. | ||
| It's very difficult for them to overcome. | ||
| Very difficult. | ||
| It's the lowest low you could ever fill. | ||
| What is the worst loss you ever had? | ||
| For the title when Dos Anjos got me this last time. | ||
| I wanted to just turn my phone off and hide, man. | ||
| It's like the worst. | ||
| And then you realize... | ||
| The sun still comes up. | ||
| And Joe Rogan still calls me. | ||
| You know, it's like, the world doesn't end, but you feel like it does, man. | ||
| People love you, they love you if you lose or if you win. | ||
| There's no way you can know if you're going to lose or you're going to win. | ||
| Especially, you can't say that you're the baddest. | ||
| No, winning or losing is just a byproduct of performing well. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you can't say you're the baddest motherfucker on earth until you meet the baddest motherfucker on earth. | ||
| And there's the new bad one coming right behind him. | ||
| There's always. | ||
| That's got to be the weirdest thing, right? | ||
| The nipping at your heels. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| How many people are calling out cowboy? | ||
| Good lord. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I love it, yeah. | ||
| The more popular you get, right? | ||
| Yeah, everyone wants a piece of the pie. | ||
| But do they really? | ||
| That's my thing. | ||
| Come get some. | ||
| But do they really? | ||
| Or are they just big wolfing until Dana calls them? | ||
| Like, hey, we heard you wanted to fight. | ||
| And they're like, ooh. | ||
| My fucking knee hurts, my ankle. | ||
| There's a few guys you know definitely want it. | ||
| Like if you call it Matt Brown, Matt Brown wants it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| There's a few of those guys. | ||
| And that's one of the reasons why win, lose, or draw, Matt Brown always gets massive respect. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| You know, even though he just lost to Ellenberger. | ||
| Props to Ellenberger. | ||
| It was beautiful. | ||
| Hell of a knockout, right? | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Powerful. | ||
| And back against the wall. | ||
| Lost a bunch of fights in Rome. | ||
| Ellenberger comes back looking like a fucking monster. | ||
| He had to reinvent himself. | ||
| Yeah, and did a lot of training with Nick Curzon, too. | ||
| You know, Nick Curzon, down at Speed of Sport, who works with Joe Schilling, works with Dos Anjos, works with a lot of those guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How about Joe? | |
| What a fucking stellar dude. | ||
| Love that guy. | ||
| Cigarette-smoking, beer-toting motherfucker, right? | ||
| And just as real as fuck, man. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| Him and I, once we met and hung out, we're buds, man. | ||
| I mean, we just... | ||
| Yeah, I mean... | ||
| I feel the same way. | ||
| Real, real son of a bitch. | ||
| Right? | ||
| And a great guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Great guy. | ||
| He is. | ||
| He's funny. | ||
| I know you bring him on here a lot and talk, but he's fucking... | ||
| He's wild, son of a bitch. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Wild as fuck. | ||
| Cool to hang with. | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| He came in after his last loss. | ||
| Lost that guy two times in a row by knockout. | ||
| But he was winning the whole fight until, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Fair enough, yeah. | ||
| But, you know, he came in with a great attitude about it, and I think part of the great attitude about it was losing to him by knockout before. | ||
| Where it wasn't like, I have resigned myself, I'm not as good as I thought I was. | ||
| It was, hey man, you fucking lay those chips out, and sometimes... | ||
| I mean, he was playing the most dangerous game. | ||
| He was playing just empty the gas tank and attack, and be as aggressive as possible, and he was winning at it. | ||
| But he got clipped. | ||
| But he came in with a great attitude about it, man. | ||
| Great attitude. | ||
| I don't think very many people appreciate what it takes to go out there and do that, to not play safe, to just fucking put the gas pedal to the floor. | ||
| I don't think you can. | ||
| I don't think I can. | ||
| I don't think anybody can unless you've done it. | ||
| So you're there watching that. | ||
| I mean, that's one of the easiest things that someone can do online, like trolls. | ||
| Trolls. | ||
| Gotta love them. | ||
| Gotta love them. | ||
| In some ways, I get it. | ||
| If I was 14, I'd probably be doing the same shit. | ||
| If I was 22, I might have been doing the same shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| Especially if you're anonymous. | ||
| Yeah, with a locked account. | ||
| I've never got on someone's account and just talked just random acts of shit talking. | ||
| That's the problem with talking shit. | ||
| It's always done by losers. | ||
| And that's something that they don't understand. | ||
| And even guys, there's a lot of guys that talk shit that have actually won some fights. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And they've actually had some success, but they know somewhere in their head they're not doing all the right things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's some missing things. | ||
| There's a difference between talking shit like the way Connor does it, like generating fights and But talking shit online? | ||
| Come on, son. | ||
| On your Instagram feed? | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| I'm with you. | ||
| So my next fight, I have a little bit of a problem with. | ||
| For one, I'm a really good friend of them and great guy. | ||
| But my fucking girl, it's her favorite fighter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Second. | |
| Second favorite fighter. | ||
| Second favorite fighter. | ||
| Yeah, it better fucking be, right? | ||
| How fucking wild is that, right? | ||
| That's pretty wild. | ||
| But I wish I could handle a situation like that. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Spit it up. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I just tell her... | ||
| How many guys have you had a fight that you care about? | ||
| Ben Henderson, for sure. | ||
| Great guy. | ||
| Great guy. | ||
| Really, that's about it, to be honest with you. | ||
| Yeah, that I truly care about. | ||
| Were you friends with him before the first fight? | ||
| Yeah, just because we grew up on the Ring of Fire and the circuit together. | ||
| We knew each other. | ||
| I don't know about friends, but we've become... | ||
| Friendly. | ||
| Yeah, we've become great friends. | ||
| I gave him fucking tickets to the Super Bowl, man. | ||
| That's pretty awesome, right? | ||
| That's pretty goddamn good. | ||
| Thank you, Budweiser. | ||
| First fight that was on that WEC pay-per-view. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was the first fight I called of yours. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was a close one. | ||
| That son of a bitch was rubber band man. | ||
| I gave him every submission I could possibly think of. | ||
| He was good. | ||
| Second one, he just went ahead and choked me out in three seconds. | ||
| And then the third one. | ||
| The third one, I won. | ||
| A lot of people say I didn't win, but... | ||
| Super close fight. | ||
| Super close fight. | ||
| Real close fight. | ||
| Those fights, man, I honestly believe that the scoring system is ridiculously inadequate. | ||
| And it's best, like Joe Lozon versus Jim Miller. | ||
| I watched that again today. | ||
| I was like, God damn, good luck scoring this. | ||
| This is a chaotic fight. | ||
| It's like there's so much going on in the fight like that. | ||
| How much politics do you think fall into the scoring? | ||
| I mean, you see the judges, and they're kind of usually elderly. | ||
| They're not really young guys. | ||
| How much of... | ||
| Man, I kind of like Cowboy... | ||
| I like his vibe. | ||
| I like his energy. | ||
| Maybe I'm going to tip the scale a little bit. | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| They could unquestionably be biased. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Fans are biased. | ||
| I'm biased. | ||
| People are biased. | ||
| Well, you're definitely biased. | ||
| Sometimes I have to watch the fights on mute just because... | ||
| Sometimes you gotta watch the fight on mute and then watch it with Joe Rogan, you're like, wow, he swayed the tick. | ||
| He tipped the scale on that one for sure. | ||
| I tried not to. | ||
| I tried not to. | ||
| I told you before, man, I'm biased towards you, though. | ||
| It's a problem. | ||
| I appreciate it. | ||
| I'm a legitimate fan, you know, and I try to be as objective as possible, but when things are happening in a fight, you get excited. | ||
| I think I do my best to do it justice, but I'm not scoring it. | ||
| I'm trying to be entertaining. | ||
| Being a commentator is a weird job. | ||
| How much longer are you going to do it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm doing it less, and I like it more. | ||
| Because I'm doing it less. | ||
| So how do you pick the ones you want to do? | ||
| Pay-per-view? | ||
| Only the pay-per-view ones in North America. | ||
| No more traveling. | ||
| No more flying from Australia. | ||
| So I need to get on pay-per-view big shows. | ||
| Yeah, Vegas, baby. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God, I love Vegas. | |
| Those are easy. | ||
| That's a 40-minute flight for me. | ||
| I love Vegas. | ||
| Everything's open. | ||
| That's the worst thing about traveling and fighting, right? | ||
| You fight. | ||
| First thing you want to do is eat. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then it's 11 o'clock and everything's closed. | ||
| Wow, steak. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Vegas? | ||
| Nah, shit. | ||
| 11 o'clock, it's just getting going. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on in. | |
| Come on in. | ||
| We got foguac. | ||
| We got ribeyes. | ||
| Yuck, foguac. | ||
| Let's talk about foguac. | ||
| I love that stuff. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Goose liver. | ||
| Love it. | ||
| Yuck. | ||
| It's yummy. | ||
| It's good for you. | ||
| No, neither one of those. | ||
| It's not good for you. | ||
| It's not? | ||
| And it's not good tasting. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| It's delicious. | ||
| Well, I don't know if it's good for you. | ||
| You probably know more than me. | ||
| It's way better than the stuff I've had in my mouth. | ||
| Something that tastes that oily, like a giant booger. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| I love it. | ||
| It's delicious. | ||
| People are mad that you have to force feed a duck. | ||
| You have to force feed a goose to make them have their liver. | ||
| The liver inflates. | ||
| It gets larger when they get force fed. | ||
| But meanwhile, you still kill them. | ||
| It's so bizarre. | ||
| Like, it's okay to kill them and eat them. | ||
| But for a while in California, it was illegal to force feed them. | ||
| I've force fed a couple girls my goose. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha! | |
| Ha! | ||
| That's not the same. | ||
| Budweiser. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's it! | |
| Enough! | ||
| That guy's running down the hallway. | ||
| Did you hear what he said? | ||
| He's force-feeding girls his goose. | ||
| God damn it! | ||
| People get mad. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Force feed a goose. | ||
| I didn't know that was... | ||
| Here's the thing Anthony Bourdain told me, and then I looked it up. | ||
| He said they actually gravitate towards the feeding pipe. | ||
| Like, our idea of what a force feeding is... | ||
| Like, we think it would be terrible to have someone dump food down your throat. | ||
| Their throats aren't like our throats. | ||
| Like, they... | ||
| Like, it doesn't... | ||
| It doesn't bother them in a way like... | ||
| There's some torturous shit that people do with factory farming. | ||
| Like, making pigs live side by side, crammed in these cages, and cows, and... | ||
| Living in their own shit. | ||
| But we don't talk about that because we love bacon. | ||
| Bacon is good. | ||
| It's hard to get it from a wild pig. | ||
| That's the thing about... | ||
| If you love bacon, you love domesticated pigs, folks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The ones that you feed the finisher to and eat the bacon. | ||
| Fatten them up. | ||
| Yeah, because if you... | ||
| Eat a feral, beefy, giant, muscular pig? | ||
| No, it does not taste like that. | ||
| Well, you can get bacon out of it, but the bacon... | ||
| Like, if you see a wild hog's bacon, which is... | ||
| Bacon is like, it's like what's attached to the ribs. | ||
| It's like the lower rib area. | ||
| On a wild hog, that shit is like a quarter of an inch thick. | ||
| For all of it. | ||
| And then if you get a side of bacon on a fat domestic pig, that is a fat fucking slab. | ||
| Because he just lays around. | ||
| A farrow pig is moving, on the move every day. | ||
| Hustling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hustling. | |
| Yeah, remember that old pork? | ||
| It's the other white meat. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Yeah, it's not with wild pigs. | ||
| There's nothing white about it. | ||
| It's dark. | ||
| It's dark like a deer almost. | ||
| Are you a pig hunter? | ||
| Yeah, I love pigs. | ||
| You know what I like about hunting pigs? | ||
| Nobody gets mad at you. | ||
| Yeah, they're like, with a machine gun out of a helicopter if you wish. | ||
| Please, help me. | ||
| They don't give a... | ||
| Pigs... | ||
| Mow them down. | ||
| Pigs just fuck. | ||
| They fuck and they make babies two, three times a year. | ||
| Okay, why is that? | ||
| Like, you post pictures of machine gunning pigs down, but if you machine gun a herd of elk, oh, buddy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, man. | |
| Right? | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, there's things... | ||
| Steve Rinella calls them charismatic megafauna. | ||
| There's like this chain of charismatic large animals. | ||
| And the biggest one is bears. | ||
| Like, if you kill a bear, people will be so fucking mad at you. | ||
| But if you kill a pig... | ||
| There's a few people that are extremists. | ||
| They'd be like, any loss of life is horrible. | ||
| But those pigs, they destroy ground-nesting birds. | ||
| They decimate populations of them. | ||
| They kill fawns. | ||
| There's a crazy picture. | ||
| Someone was like, why do you say that, man? | ||
| They don't kill deer. | ||
| Bullshit! | ||
| Wild hogs kill everything. | ||
| There's a crazy picture of a wild boar running off with a fawn in its mouth. | ||
| And it's a disturbing picture. | ||
| So I have pigs at home. | ||
| Domestic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they eat my chickens and roosters all the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah! | |
| If you get fucking within a pig bite away, you'll just see the fucking chickens eating the feed, and the fucking pig will just grab it by the head and eat it. | ||
| Yeah, look at that. | ||
| Yeah, that's what my chickens look like. | ||
| Pig eating a calf. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| They eat everything. | ||
| People don't understand that is a fucking eating machine. | ||
| That's what a pig is. | ||
| They give zero fucks. | ||
| But let's talk about how... | ||
| So look, that amazing wildebeest is eating a cheetah. | ||
| That's a wild boar eating a cheetah. | ||
| And then puts out, you feed a pig anything and out comes bacon? | ||
| How great is that? | ||
| Well, you have to get them domesticated and they change everything about themselves. | ||
| They don't become this sketchy fucking, there's one running off with a fawn in his mouth. | ||
| Look at that shit. | ||
| Look, we're on, this is African plains, wildebeest here. | ||
| Uh, is that? | ||
| I feel like... | ||
| I think that's a pig. | ||
| A feral pig? | ||
| I think that's your pig. | ||
| It might be Australia. | ||
| Visit the page and see what the fuck that is. | ||
| Yeah, I think that's just a wild boar. | ||
| See, that's the weird thing about domestic pigs. | ||
| Is it in Louisiana? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's just a wild boar. | ||
| Wild boars, they get that real long snout, but they don't have the same kind of tusks. | ||
| Wildebeest do. | ||
| Well, not a wildebeest. | ||
| Wildebeest is actually like an antelope type species. | ||
| We're thinking there's a warthog. | ||
| Warthogs, they have swords that come out of their face. | ||
| Those giant, huge tusks. | ||
| That's like the more extreme version of it. | ||
| But those things that we have over here, that's a warthog. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Look at that motherfucker. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Look at the hair. | ||
| Look at his mohawk. | ||
| Yeah, my friend Remy went over to Africa and shot one. | ||
| What are the things coming under his eyes? | ||
| What are the horns? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Something to keep something from biting its eyes, I guess. | ||
| Fucking mean. | ||
| Look how mean that is. | ||
| It's like gag reflex, so when someone tries to eat your eye, that... | ||
| That goes in? | ||
| That dick goes right in your mouth. | ||
| And they puke up your eyeball. | ||
| That's a fucking hard-ass animal, man. | ||
| That looks pretty vicious right there. | ||
| Fuck yeah, it's vicious. | ||
| That's a hard-ass animal. | ||
| You don't grow those kind of tusks on your face because they're pretty. | ||
| They attract females. | ||
| That's an animal that knows it has a short window to eat as much shit as it can and hope nothing needs it. | ||
| Yo, do you know that pigs have spiral dicks? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Talk about getting screwed. | ||
| That's where it comes from. | ||
| Is that what it comes from? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh. | ||
| They have spiral dicks. | ||
| So do ducks. | ||
| We reviewed that in the podcast, and apparently I'd said that ducks have three foot long dicks. | ||
| I was wrong. | ||
| This Andreas Antonopoulos, the Bitcoin expert. | ||
| How could a bird that's only three feet long have a three foot pipe? | ||
| They have like 13 inch dicks, though. | ||
| Seriously? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, they have giant crazy dicks. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| That's a duck dick. | ||
| So they come in hot. | ||
| Coming in hot. | ||
| Because the females have been, like, programmed to try to prevent rape, and the way they have been programmed to try to prevent rape, they develop these, like, labyrinth pussies. | ||
| Like, look at that in the upper right-hand corner, Jamie, there's a female pussy. | ||
| Female pussy. | ||
| As opposed to what? | ||
| Boy pussy. | ||
| That's why I get in jail. | ||
| That's like the inside of a female duck. | ||
| And they have these little trap doors where the dick can't get through. | ||
| So they have to allow the dick to get through. | ||
| And they can actually cut off the breeding process. | ||
| They can choose what male impregnates them. | ||
| I feel like that's also in our society. | ||
| In a lot of ways. | ||
| It has to be allowed. | ||
| Yeah, it does. | ||
| It's super important in this day and age. | ||
| It can be allowed. | ||
| We don't have a trap door, but it might be 10 years. | ||
| But all they do is rape each other in the duck world. | ||
| They're just biting each other and raping each other. | ||
| I love hunting ducks. | ||
| Probably one of my turkeys, pheasants, duck is the order of birds I love to hunt. | ||
| I've heard that turkey with a bow and arrow is the shit. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| You can either center punch it or you can try and guillotine it off with a big... | ||
| Those crazy... | ||
| I've missed every time I've tried. | ||
| You've got to get them really close. | ||
| You gotta get really close and you gotta get him when he's up clucking, you know? | ||
| Usually when you draw back, he sees you and they're out of there. | ||
| I shot the first one that I ever shot last year and it was delicious. | ||
| But it was a young one. | ||
| It was only a year old. | ||
| And Steve Rinell was telling me that a three-year-old turkey is super old. | ||
| Most of them never live to be three. | ||
| But I was amazed at how big they are. | ||
| They're fucking huge. | ||
| Huge birds. | ||
| I just went down, I got invited to a hunt on the Realtree plantation down in Georgia. | ||
| Which I felt like was the butterball form. | ||
| I feel like they just let a bunch of turkeys out of trap doors and we just smoked them. | ||
| No, I mean, we hunted for two days before we got one. | ||
| But you thought that going in? | ||
| Yeah, I was like, great, this is going to be so easy. | ||
| They can't do that, though. | ||
| Realtree is like an established hunting brand. | ||
| They have to make sure everything's legit. | ||
| It was fun, you know. | ||
| We got the birds. | ||
| They're so good. | ||
| So good. | ||
| They taste so much better. | ||
| I mean, the same thing with wild pigs. | ||
| They taste so much better than domesticated animals. | ||
| When you domesticate animals, you fuck up the whole system. | ||
| But you have to like the game. | ||
| Do you like lamb? | ||
| Are you a lamb guy? | ||
| I do like lamb. | ||
| You don't like lamb? | ||
| No, I'm not a big lamb chop guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, I don't like the game in it. | ||
| You don't like gamey food? | ||
| I don't think lamb's gamey at all. | ||
| Oh, fuck yes it is. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Lamb, huh? | ||
| Maybe you've had it bad. | ||
| I've had all lamb. | ||
| There's a restaurant over here in Woodland Hills called Brandywine. | ||
| If you have a rack of lamb from them... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| Game on? | ||
| Might change your mind, Donald. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alright. | |
| You gotta go with someone who's preparing it correctly. | ||
| Have you had it in a restaurant before? | ||
| I've had it in a restaurant. | ||
| I've had it... | ||
| At my house, everywhere. | ||
| I've had domesticated lamb. | ||
| See, I don't know what it tastes like to you. | ||
| I think that's the weird thing about taste buds. | ||
| Some people are into weird shit. | ||
| That's a very good point. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck they're experiencing. | ||
| I'm just guessing based on my experience. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I like really hot foods. | ||
| Yeah, you like jalapenos and... | ||
| Habanero peppers. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| I cook with hot shit. | ||
| And you cook them and piss them off and get them even hotter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It sucks. | |
| Yeah, I like them raw, too, though. | ||
| Sometimes I try the jalapenos raw. | ||
| I found out that just a little bit of cooking, though, is the way to do it. | ||
| Yeah, jalapeno raw will give you immediate Johnny Rocket. | ||
| Yeah, a little bit. | ||
| Holy fuck. | ||
| I ate three of them last night. | ||
| Big fat boys with them genetically modified jalapenos. | ||
| And it was game on. | ||
| Yeah, they're like a duck dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's a big-ass jalapeno. | ||
| But I... I like hot food, but I don't know what hot food tastes like to other people. | ||
| I just know what it tastes like to me. | ||
| But I know there's some shit that I can't tolerate. | ||
| There was a restaurant that used to be here in Encino, but the dude died unfortunately, but it was called Chili My Soul. | ||
| And it was an all chili restaurant. | ||
| And you would go there and they had like the Scoville rankings. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Which goes up to like ten, which is impossible to eat. | ||
| But they had nines. | ||
| They had nines and they gave me a cup of nines. | ||
| And when I say a cup, I mean like a fucking thimble. | ||
| And I was like, really? | ||
| And he was like, yeah, really. | ||
| I go, okay, I'll try it. | ||
| So you at nine? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So he goes with just a little spoonful. | ||
| A dash. | ||
| And I couldn't fucking believe how hot it was. | ||
| Sweating. | ||
| I'm pouring sweat. | ||
| Like I'm swimming. | ||
| Why do you sweat when something is hot that you eat? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I like it though. | ||
| That's half what I like about it. | ||
| I had the jalapenos, man. | ||
| I was sweating. | ||
| It's just pouring like I was in a sauna last night. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| Eating your elk that you killed like a man with a bow. | ||
| Like a man. | ||
| Like a manly man. | ||
| Yeah, that's a freak out, man. | ||
| That's probably my number one addiction right now. | ||
| You're taking a vacation soon going elk hunting, right? | ||
| I'm going on a bunch of them. | ||
| I feel like if I was me, if I wasn't me, and I said, man, if I was that dude, I'd go on a bunch of fucking hunting trips. | ||
| I'm going on a bunch of fucking hunting trips. | ||
| I'd give a bunch of meat out to my friends. | ||
| I eat it all myself. | ||
| It's all I eat. | ||
| I very, very, very rarely buy domestic meat now. | ||
| And if I do, it's because I need to cook something that night. | ||
| I got some friends coming over, and I didn't defrost anything, and I just got to bang it out quick. | ||
| Right. | ||
| For the most part. | ||
| Or if somebody wants it. | ||
| But I don't feel bad. | ||
| I don't feel bad when I eat domestic meat, or like a wild game animal. | ||
| Why would you? | ||
| I don't. | ||
| It's a resource. | ||
| And a beautiful one, and I respect it. | ||
| If you were a trophy hunter, and you just went and cut the head off, and you're like, oh yeah, me and Callan got him. | ||
| Yeah, we got him. | ||
| We got this leopard, and I'm going to fuck its head. | ||
| Suck its eyeballs out. | ||
| Yeah, there's something fucked up about killing things just because you can kill them. | ||
| Would you hunt a human? | ||
| Depends on how good they taste. | ||
| We need to find out. | ||
| What do you think a human tastes like? | ||
| Depends on how cunty they are. | ||
| What do you think a human tastes like? | ||
| Probably like pig. | ||
| You think? | ||
| That's what they say. | ||
| They call them long pigs. | ||
| Who's they? | ||
| People who've eaten them. | ||
| Cannibals? | ||
| They call them long pigs. | ||
| They've actually... | ||
| And do you think what we eat, like, would I be a little sweeter because I'm a Skittle milked up kind of guy? | ||
| Probably delicious. | ||
| Probably delicious. | ||
| I'm a beer-battered cowboy? | ||
| Your hams would taste like Wagyu. | ||
| Wagyu beef. | ||
| Those fucking cows they feed beer to in Japan. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| You probably taste delicious. | ||
| Well, I know that animals, they eat certain things. | ||
| Here's a perfect example. | ||
| Bears. | ||
| If bears eat salmon, like a friend of mine made a bear ham out of a bear they call a coastal bear. | ||
| He said it tasted like you were eating smoked salmon. | ||
| They smoked a ham from a bear. | ||
| It tasted like smoked salmon. | ||
| It looked like beef. | ||
| You would have to taste like what you ate. | ||
| Because you're putting it right you'd have to. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The other thing is blueberry bears. | ||
| Like bears in the fall that are stocking up on blueberries are apparently one of the most delicious things you could eat ever. | ||
| It's supposed to be incredible. | ||
| Like guys purposely hunt only in the fall and only over blueberry patches just because they want to catch a blueberry bear. | ||
| You've never had a blueberry bear? | ||
| Never had it. | ||
| It's supposed to be amazing. | ||
| I haven't either. | ||
| It's supposed to be amazing. | ||
| It's supposed to be like one of the most delicious things you can eat. | ||
| So yeah, I think... | ||
| And when you cut them open, they smell like blueberries. | ||
| Like their fat smells like blueberries. | ||
| Their fat is purple. | ||
| It's like a purple fat. | ||
| There's like a video of it. | ||
| Like Steve Rinella... | ||
| How many bears have you killed? | ||
| Three. | ||
| Did you, like, make a cool necklace out of his claws or anything? | ||
| I have rugs. | ||
| I have rugs that I made out of them. | ||
| Head still attached? | ||
| Yeah, the head's attached. | ||
| You have to, right? | ||
| If you're going to have a bear rug, you have to have the claws and the head on it. | ||
| It's got to be. | ||
| People are weirded out by it. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think I'd... | ||
| That'd be a pretty badass thing to have right in your centerpiece. | ||
| Well, I eat them, and where I hunt in Alberta, they have to kill them because they don't have no natural predators. | ||
| This is Steve Rinella doing it on that show Meat Eater, but see how the fat has got like a purple hue to it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he takes that stuff and he makes lard out of it with that purple fat. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| See how weird it looks? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, that's fat from a bear that's been eating blueberries. | ||
| See, but we have this fucking Jungle Book view of animals, so people look at bears like your friends, like they're your friends. | ||
| Bears are all cannibals. | ||
| All of them are eating cubs, especially the ones that we go after, which are all the males. | ||
| No kidding, they eat their own cubs. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| They all do. | ||
| They'll eat every cub they could get a hold of. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Why wouldn't you? | ||
| They just do. | ||
| Well, I think part of that is because they don't have a natural predator. | ||
| So I think nature balances itself out. | ||
| And when there's no natural predator, I think... | ||
| Something has to evil out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I think what happens is these bears become predators against themselves. | ||
| And they eat cubs. | ||
| And they don't want competition with these young males that are coming up. | ||
| And they also want the female to come back into estrus so they can breed again. | ||
| So they just eat cubs. | ||
| And they eat them for food. | ||
| They're finding now that they actually go actively hunting for him. | ||
| This is a terrible video of this polar bear killing this cub. | ||
| And that's the female there next to him, like, don't eat my cub. | ||
| The female's on the right, and she's trying to keep him off. | ||
| She didn't help out very much. | ||
| He's killing her cub right now and eating it. | ||
| It's so common. | ||
| It's 100% of the males eat cubs. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Could you fucking imagine getting mauled by a polar bear? | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Well, they're the most fucked up ones because they come out of the womb as predators. | ||
| Because they don't eat anything but meat. | ||
| They're the only bear that doesn't eat grass. | ||
| They don't eat anything else. | ||
| Look at their environment. | ||
| They're there to eat seals and other bears. | ||
| And the way they keep the population down is by eating each other. | ||
| It's fucked up. | ||
| And that's a simplistic description of it. | ||
| I'm sure biologists would be mad at me. | ||
| But there's definitely merit in what I'm saying. | ||
| There's got to be. | ||
| Nature doesn't do that. | ||
| Wolves don't eat each other. | ||
| You know, tigers don't eat each other. | ||
| But wolves have a predator. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I don't know what predator tigers have other than people, but I think maybe tigers have had people as a predator for so long that it kind of balances itself out. | ||
| But bears, man, up there by themselves, polar bears, they just eat the shit out of each other. | ||
| And then a lot of the places where bears are, like even black bears, like they're in these dense wooded areas where nothing other than grizzlies can kill a black bear, other than black bears. | ||
| So they kill each other. | ||
| It's a dark existence, man. | ||
| Circle of life. | ||
| And for hunting populations, like the people up there that live in Alberta, they need moose, they need deer. | ||
| It's like a main staple of these people's diet. | ||
| There's a lot of folks that live up there that don't buy meat. | ||
| So they have to keep those bear populations in check because they kill more than 50% of all the fawns, of all the moose calves. | ||
| They're killing everything. | ||
| Well, just keeping population control in, you know, hunting, like you said, it has to be done. | ||
| Well, people think it doesn't have to be done, but they don't understand the numbers. | ||
| It has to be done. | ||
| You look at the populations of people in this country that die every year from accidents with deer, it's 200. 1.5 million car accidents every year in the United States alone with deer. | ||
| There's no other way. | ||
| I mean, there's one solution. | ||
| They want to reintroduce cougars, which is, yeah, I mean, that'll work. | ||
| That'll definitely keep the numbers down. | ||
| It's very tricky. | ||
| You're bringing in an apex predator. | ||
| Apex predator. | ||
| And it only has a finite supply of food. | ||
| You're going to have to bring in some people that are going to have to control those apex predators, and that's what we have in California. | ||
| There's a bunch of people... | ||
| That are professional mountain lion hunters that are employed by the state of California. | ||
| And when there's a problem, mountain lion, they go and kill it. | ||
| And it's all hush-hush. | ||
| They don't talk about it. | ||
| But they kill 100 of them a year. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And they're all filled with cats and dogs. | ||
| They've been eating cats and dogs. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because that's easy. | ||
| Yeah, it's easy. | ||
| Easy going. | ||
| They got them in the backyard, caged up. | ||
| Why chase a fucking deer? | ||
| He's got swords growing out of his head. | ||
| You might break a leg chasing after him. | ||
| I could just prey down on this dog on a leash. | ||
| Stupid fat Rottweiler sitting in your yard with no balls. | ||
| Why'd you take his balls? | ||
| He makes it nicer. | ||
| Jack him and carry him over the fence like they're a rag doll. | ||
| That's an apex predator. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Have you ever seen a mountain lion in the real world? | ||
| I have. | ||
| How close? | ||
| In my old tree fort at my cabin, there was one. | ||
| I crawled up the ladder and he was in there laying on my blankets. | ||
| And then he watched me for about a week. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| So you crawled up there. | ||
| How old were you? | ||
| 10 or 12 maybe? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| 10 or 12? | ||
| So you crawl up the ladder, you had no idea. | ||
| No idea. | ||
| You get to the top, and what are you looking at? | ||
| A big-ass cat laying on my blankets. | ||
| Is he looking at you? | ||
| Eh, not really. | ||
| He was just kind of laid out there. | ||
| And I was like, oh shit, and just went back down the ladder and ran into the house. | ||
| And then he kind of just sat there for about a week while we were there and just watched us. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| You just see him in the trees all week long. | ||
| He didn't move. | ||
| He just sat there and watched us. | ||
| Just took over your tree fort. | ||
| He didn't, little fucker. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That's terrifying. | ||
| That's in South Park, Colorado. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| And what was he eating while he was living in your tree fort? | ||
| I think he was waiting on me. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's holding out. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| I mean, the tree fort, it wasn't even that high. | ||
| I mean, I bet you... | ||
| Eight or ten ladder rungs. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Up a tree. | ||
| Holy fuck. | ||
| Maybe 200 yards from the house. | ||
| I mean, it was just right there. | ||
| And how'd you know when he was gone? | ||
| We went home. | ||
| I didn't know he was gone. | ||
| We just left for the weekend. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| Family vacation was done. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah, we didn't live there. | ||
| We just go up there and hang out. | ||
| Oh, fuck. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| God damn. | ||
| It's fucking wild. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| I seen a bear. | ||
| I drove by a fucking massive bear down the four-wheeler trail. | ||
| He was standing right there next to me. | ||
| I just drove right by him. | ||
| I was like, oh shit. | ||
| I seen a bear chase a kid on a mountain bike. | ||
| Is this in Colorado? | ||
| Oh, in Colorado. | ||
| So these are black bears, right? | ||
| Yeah, black bears. | ||
| There's only a few brown bears in Colorado, right? | ||
| There's not that many. | ||
| It was definitely a black bear. | ||
| But I did see a brown bear chase a fucking kid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, chase a kid. | ||
| Was it a color phase black bear? | ||
| It might have been a color phase. | ||
| I mean, he looked brown and big when I was young. | ||
| Oh my god, he was chasing a kid? | ||
| We were out riding our dirt bikes, and there was a little kid on a little 50, like a whole range ahead of us, and you seen the bear fucking hauling ass down the mountain after the kid on the bike. | ||
| It was insane. | ||
| Fuck that! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Apparently, more black bears kill people than brown bears. | ||
| Apparently black bears are much more likely to be predators on people than brown bears are. | ||
| It's not impossible that a brown bear would do it, but it's more likely that a black bear would do it. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| I've never been attacked by anything like that. | ||
| Neither incident... | ||
| It raised a threat to me. | ||
| Ranello was telling me about this one dude that he knows who took someone he knows on the first hunting trip ever. | ||
| Right. | ||
| In the tent. | ||
| Gets attacked by a 500 pound predatory black bear. | ||
| Attacks him. | ||
| Goes in the tent. | ||
| He's trying to eat him. | ||
| Grabs his head. | ||
| The dude's friend comes in, shoots him. | ||
| Shoots through the bear. | ||
| Hits the dude in the wrist. | ||
| Oh shit. | ||
| So the bullet passes through the bear. | ||
| Hits the guy. | ||
| Breaks his arm. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| The bear runs out, and then they have to chase the bear down. | ||
| It runs into another tent. | ||
| They have to shoot the bear. | ||
|
unidentified
|
First hunting trip ever. | |
| Well, they got it. | ||
| They got it. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, what a story. | ||
| I've had a backpack. | ||
| I had a black bear and her two cubs in our camp. | ||
| We woke up in the morning, unzipped the 10. I just took my.45 and just unloaded it into the sky. | ||
| That's a good move. | ||
| And they ran off. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| They were right there in our little area. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| The mamas are the most dangerous. | ||
| As they say, the mama. | ||
| Yeah, they say that's the big thing that happens in like Yosemite or Yellowstone, rather. | ||
| In Yellowstone, when people are tromping around, they're just fuck up. | ||
| Getting near the cub. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| And the mama's like, that? | ||
| I can just take care of this real quick. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Let's rip you apart. | ||
| God, could you imagine fucking getting in a tussle with a bear? | ||
| We are not equipped for that. | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| Do you ever see that video? | ||
| Not even with a spear. | ||
| I don't even know if you gave me a spear. | ||
| No. | ||
| And said... | ||
| And in the red corner. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'd be standing there like, holy fuck. | ||
| What is this dude doing with his club? | ||
| I just looked at bear pictures on Google search. | ||
| This was found on Google Maps. | ||
| Look at that fat Russian dude just beating the shit out of that bear with a stick. | ||
| That's Khabib's dad. | ||
| Holy fuck. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know what I would do. | ||
| If you gave me a spear, the guy you're talking about that killed a bear with a spear is impressive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, what do you do if you're one shot and you blow it and now that motherfucker's like, zoop! | ||
| Mad at you. | ||
| Mad at coming in hot. | ||
| Did he have a sidearm with him? | ||
| I don't think he did. | ||
| So my question is, if I go spear hunting with a bear and I unload my spear and the bear mauls me, can I then shoot the bear with a pistol? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You could definitely shoot the bear to stay alive. | ||
| Stay alive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because of the stay alive. | ||
| Alberta has an open weapon policy. | ||
| Like, you can use a rifle, you can use a shotgun, you can use a crossbow, you can use a spear. | ||
| I think they're going to outlaw spears now because of the outrage, because everybody's pissed. | ||
| Which I think is honestly a good idea, because most people are not going to be equipped to do it the way that guy does. | ||
| At the very least, I think if you're going to kill a bear with a spear, you'd have to go through some sort of... | ||
| Spear-chucking academy? | ||
| Yeah, well, there should be some sort of a certification course where they know you're competent with a spear. | ||
| You know, because a spear requires massive physical skills. | ||
| You have to be strong as fuck. | ||
| You have to be a person who can throw a lot of weight. | ||
| It's not as easy as, like, pulling a trigger. | ||
| There's a lot of physicality involved in killing someone with a spear. | ||
| Pulling a trigger, I think, is a gutless thing sometimes. | ||
| Like, you shouldn't just be able to pull a trigger. | ||
| You should have the passive hunting. | ||
| I think hunter safety, your shooting aspect should be a little more in-depth. | ||
| I don't think you should be able to maim a fucking animal. | ||
| Wing it. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| You should have to put some groupings together or something. | ||
| Handgun or rifle. | ||
| You shouldn't be like, okay, yep, it's not loaded. | ||
| You fucking know how to put the safety on and you're 12... | ||
| Go get them. | ||
| Yeah, I completely agree because when you pass one of those hunter safety courses, what there are is about... | ||
| I was 10. I was fucking 10. They're easy to pass. | ||
| But it's questions. | ||
| You just have to know things. | ||
| And you have to get 60% of the questions right. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's it. | |
| You just gotta get a D. A D. Yeah. | ||
| And then have fun with your dad and his hunting buddies. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're all drunk. | ||
| They're all trying to burn one of them. | ||
| One of them's trying to fuck you. | ||
| There's a way... | ||
| This is a way to teach people to be competent first before you allow them to do it. | ||
| I think that's probably the best way. | ||
| But then people hear shit like that, like, you're infringing upon my rights. | ||
| I'll teach my son how to do it. | ||
| I hope you do. | ||
| I hope you do. | ||
| I hope we do. | ||
| But if we're going to regulate it at all, it seems ridiculous to me that you don't regulate competency. | ||
| Like, people should have a certain amount of ability before they go hunting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Or before they go and shoot a gun at a range. | ||
| Any kind of... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| ...bearing arms should be... | ||
| Imagine if they just gave you a car. | ||
| Like, licenses, do you ask, what's a red light? | ||
| What's a green light? | ||
| Yeah, what do you do when you hit a stop sign? | ||
| And you answer 60% of these questions right, and they give you a car. | ||
| And that's how you learn. | ||
| You learn by driving out there in the public. | ||
| That's kind of what you're doing with guns. | ||
| You know, someone passes a course, and then all of a sudden they've got a gun. | ||
| They're just wandering around. | ||
| Like, you should know how the fuck you use that thing. | ||
| Yeah, and you go hunting, and then your dad's buddy's like, you got him on a 410? | ||
| Let's give him a 12-gauge, goddammit! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yee-haw! | |
| Right? | ||
| Now you're 10 with a 12 gauge. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Have fun. | ||
| Or a 300 wind mag. | ||
| Just fucking shoot. | ||
| You know? | ||
| A 10 year old with a 300 wind mag. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| Boom! | ||
| You just go flying backwards and land on your ass. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a way to do it. | ||
| It's like meeting in the middle. | ||
| One of the things about people who are gun rights advocates is they don't want to give up anything. | ||
| And I understand it. | ||
| Because they feel like if you give up any ground at all... | ||
| If you do give up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, sure. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| They'll... | ||
| The liberals are going to come in and they're going to want to take all your guns. | ||
| People who don't have guns don't want anybody to have guns. | ||
| And people who have guns want everybody to be able to get a gun. | ||
| I don't know how I'm on the fence on that one, but I carry a weapon everywhere with me. | ||
| That's what I do. | ||
| I have one in every vehicle all over my house. | ||
| You and Tim Kennedy should get together. | ||
| We do all the time. | ||
| We do all the time. | ||
| You know, and I don't know. | ||
| I feel like I've never had to pull my weapon, ever. | ||
| But I feel like if I did, I would kill somebody, for sure, if it pushed me to that point. | ||
| If you were in a position where someone's going to take your life, which happens all the time, it would be wonderful if you could talk someone out of that without having to shoot them. | ||
| But there's a lot of people that don't want to believe that the scenario does present itself occasionally where you've got to shoot somebody. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It does. | ||
| It does. | ||
| Happens all the time. | ||
| You can't control... | ||
| There's a giant... | ||
| Fucking population on this planet. | ||
| And amongst those people, you are going to run into the wrong motherfucker sometimes. | ||
| Whether it's some Ted Bundy character, or whether it's some fucking school shooter, or whether... | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| You just don't know. | ||
| And this idea that you shouldn't be prepared, and we should pretend that those people don't exist, that's... | ||
| That's just as unhealthy as someone thinking that everyone should be armed everywhere they go. | ||
| We should all have guns laying on the table. | ||
| That's just as unhealthy. | ||
| All of it's crazy. | ||
| There's a lot of people here. | ||
| We definitely need to work on being nicer to each other. | ||
| Being nice to each other, and me and Aubrey talked about this, I think mutual combat should be a thing that is allowed. | ||
| That's in Seattle. | ||
| Because fucking road rage puts me over the edge. | ||
| Motherfucker, I will lose my mind. | ||
| Do you know why that is? | ||
| Why that is? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why road rage exists? | ||
| They've actually made a scientific explanation that actually makes sense. | ||
| When you're driving in a car, things are happening at split seconds. | ||
| So you're in that car, people are changing lanes, you're moving... | ||
| 60 miles an hour, which, I mean, how many feet a second is that? | ||
| You're flying by, right? | ||
| And it requires you to be tuned in. | ||
| Your senses are very tuned in. | ||
| And because of that, anytime something happens, you're on red alert. | ||
| So you're engaging with people on red alert. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck you! | |
| Like, you're in that car, and you're already so ramped up. | ||
| By the time you get out, you're, like, ready to go to war. | ||
| And people that are, like, normally calm, they get in those situations, and they're so fucking ramped up. | ||
| So ramped up. | ||
| Yeah, that's what it is. | ||
| It's dealing with that. | ||
| Or we should allow it to be done. | ||
| Well, I agree. | ||
| Motherfucker want to pull you over, you should pull over and figure it out. | ||
| Instead of pull over and then... | ||
| Shoot each other. | ||
| Shoot each other. | ||
| There'd be a lot of those people honking their horn if you got to beat the shit out of somebody. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| They'd be like, yeah, all right, maybe not. | ||
| Go ahead, go ahead and cut in. | ||
| Talk a lot up until the time the door's shut and they're standing outside. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then maybe they try to talk their way out of it, or talk their way out of you being scared. | ||
| But there's a state, Washington State has a law, a mutual combat law, where you could do it in front of cops. | ||
| Do you know that crazy dude, Phoenix Jones, who's an MMA fighter? | ||
| I don't know him. | ||
| You don't know who he is? | ||
| This is a crazy story. | ||
| He's a legit MMA fighter. | ||
| Very talented kid. | ||
| Is he Carlos Fodor's brother? | ||
| Phoenix Jones. | ||
| Anyway, he wears a fucking superhero outfit, and he goes out and fights crime. | ||
| Real life. | ||
| Yeah, and there's a video of him on a street fight in front of cops. | ||
| Because Washington State says, do you want to fight? | ||
| Do you want to fight? | ||
| Okay, you guys are allowed to fight. | ||
| So you can smoke pot and fight. | ||
| Yeah, look at this. | ||
| So this is this guy. | ||
| He's got this outfit on, and this dude's talking shit to him. | ||
| Is this the... | ||
| Do you have any warrior bars right here? | ||
| See, I don't, man. | ||
| I don't. | ||
| I got some other shit. | ||
| So the guy talks a bunch of shit, and then he tries to walk away, and the guy's like, oh, you're fucking pussy. | ||
| So eventually he winds up fighting this guy in front of cops. | ||
| Do you have to find a cop first? | ||
| No. | ||
| You can agree upon it, but the cops won't intervene. | ||
| So you could say this is mutual combat. | ||
| Yeah, so look at this. | ||
| There's a cop car, so the cops are watching. | ||
| This is hilarious. | ||
| By the way, this is real fucking recent. | ||
| And this dude, Phoenix Jones, whatever his real name is... | ||
| So no weapons, you just say... | ||
| No weapons. | ||
| No weapon, mutual combat. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so the cops let him do it. | ||
| See if he can get to the actual fight itself, because it's hilarious. | ||
| Does he whip his motherfucking ass? | ||
| Oh, leg kicks the shit out of him right off the bat. | ||
| And the dude's like, wait, what? | ||
| A little bit before that. | ||
| Here he goes. | ||
| So they go at it. | ||
| He goes, yeah, fuck you. | ||
| He's like, okay, okay. | ||
| He's dressed like a superhero, which is even more humiliating than he kicks your ass. | ||
| So they start going at it. | ||
| They're standing there in front of the cops. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whack! | |
| Right away! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ho ho! | |
| Leg kick! | ||
| And then he's bouncing, moving on him, and the dude's like, wait, what? | ||
| Whack! | ||
| Leg kick again! | ||
| Oh, shit! | ||
| Oh, he got a kick back! | ||
| He's bouncing around on him. | ||
| He's throwing jabs to the body. | ||
| And is that the cop right there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Off to the right, watching? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because if it goes to the ground, it's over? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I think in case the guy quits. | ||
| I guess if the guy quits, the cop has to be there to say, well, then it's assault after that. | ||
| It's no longer mutual combat. | ||
| Look, he's just kicking the shit out of his leg. | ||
| Dude's moving forward in a zombie state now. | ||
| He doesn't know what the fuck's going on. | ||
| And then the beating comes down. | ||
| And then the cops step in and separate it. | ||
| And say, okay, that's enough. | ||
| And then they're like, have a good night. | ||
| Yeah, good night, sir. | ||
| No police report. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| No paperwork. | ||
| Look, he's doing it in front of the cops. | ||
| Washington State has some crazy mutual combat law. | ||
| How do we get that passed across the board? | ||
| It would stop a lot of fucking Jabberjohn. | ||
| Oh my god, would it? | ||
| Oh man, wait. | ||
| There's a lot of people that say things they don't really mean, you know, and they open up possibilities they don't really want to take place. | ||
| Because alcohol. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They get froggy. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And then when someone says jump, now all of a sudden they gotta jump. | ||
| Well, that's why pot's better. | ||
| But because that guy got so froggy, he actually jumped and he didn't even know how to jump. | ||
| Which is the most ridiculous thing. | ||
| In front of a cop. | ||
| On camera. | ||
| At least you can take an ass-whipping. | ||
| The description of what happened here is kind of interesting. | ||
| Who wrote this? | ||
| Just somebody? | ||
| I think it's whoever shot the video. | ||
| Oh, he said, F-U-N-word. | ||
| He was going to walk away and leave, and the guy said, I'll fight you, I'll take it to your house. | ||
| And then that's when he went to the cop and was like, alright, we're going to fight then. | ||
| At this point, Phoenix agrees to mutual combat. | ||
| The two shake hands and the fight commences. | ||
| He says, fuck you, I'll bring this to your house. | ||
| Yeah, and right before he beats the shit out of the dude, the dude says, you know you don't want none of this. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| Mutual combat. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that can only exist in, like, them Wild West states. | ||
| Like, you could get that off in Arizona. | ||
| Maybe New Mexico could pull something like that off. | ||
| They could pull that off. | ||
| That would never make it to California. | ||
| California wouldn't be a mutual state? | ||
| They'd be like, we have to stop violence. | ||
| Or you have the guys pulling the guns. | ||
| You have both sides. | ||
| You have both sides, yeah. | ||
| We have, like, a lot of people that came over here to grow sprouts and do yoga. | ||
| I don't think there's going to be much mutual down in Compton. | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| They have to learn how to fight first. | ||
| If you don't know how to fight, that's when the guns come out. | ||
| I wonder if Mutual Combat... | ||
| Allows weapons if you both have weapons. | ||
| No, I think that's not in the rules. | ||
| That's murder. | ||
| Have you seen that shit they're doing in Russian now? | ||
| M1's having knight fights? | ||
| Knife fights? | ||
| Knight. | ||
| Like knights. | ||
| You dress up like a knight, armored, and swords and shit. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, I put it on my Twitter. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| I retweeted it today. | ||
| A fucking guy got KO'd by a sword. | ||
| To the face. | ||
| Dude, you gotta see this shit. | ||
| They hit each other in the head. | ||
| They're wearing armor. | ||
| How heavy is a knight outfit? | ||
| It looks heavy as fuck. | ||
| They're not moving very well. | ||
| I would bet it's heavier than that. | ||
| Like, look at this. | ||
| They're jacking each other with these fucking swords. | ||
| They're like modern night. | ||
| Oh, and the shield to the face? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, there's some full speed versions of it, Jamie. | ||
| Look how they're whacking each other, man. | ||
| So are they blunt swords, you think? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I think they're probably blunt. | ||
| Behind the legs is not... | ||
| Oh, we need... | ||
| Behind the legs isn't guarded. | ||
| I'd be going for... | ||
| Oh, look at this. | ||
| He got a takedown. | ||
| Takedown. | ||
| I mean, this would be real life if that would happen. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, shielding him while he's down? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck yes! | |
| Oh my god, shielding him in the head. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is insane. | |
| When did the ref stop it? | ||
| No, I guess they stopped it. | ||
| He did on his own. | ||
| He was like, okay, you are dead. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow, he's trying to tap on the ground. | ||
| He's done. | ||
| Wow, man. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
| There's no rules. | ||
| Where they're fighting looks awesome, too. | ||
| Yeah, they're in a field. | ||
| Yeah, it looks like a place where people would fight with swords. | ||
| They're in the Shire. | ||
| The Shire! | ||
| Oh, hell yes. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| Look at his face beat up. | ||
| Oh, yeah, man. | ||
| He took some swords to the head. | ||
| That is a fucked up sport. | ||
| That's a tough dude right there. | ||
| This is next level shit, right? | ||
| I mean, this is... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, do it. | |
| Sign me up. | ||
| I don't even know how to yield a sword, but I'll do it. | ||
| So if this starts happening in the United States, you're down? | ||
| What the fuck is this, Jeremy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, they have maces and... | |
| Five on five. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Five on five sword fights? | ||
| Come on! | ||
| Oh my god, this is insane. | ||
| Then he has an axe! | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Look how big that guy is. | ||
| I don't even want to hear it. | ||
| Oh, he has an axe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is insane. | |
| He has a real life axe. | ||
| That's the only way to fight a guy with an axe. | ||
| Grab my... | ||
| Oh, what? | ||
| Look at the other guy hitting him in the head! | ||
|
unidentified
|
To the head! | |
| Oh, shit! | ||
| This is insane. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's dead. | |
| He killed that dude. | ||
| He hit that dude in the head with a fucking axe. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| What do you look up for this so people can fucking do this? | ||
| IMCF? 2015 5-on-5 France vs. | ||
| New Zealand. | ||
| They have night fights. | ||
| This is a new thing. | ||
| Dude, those guys had axes and maces. | ||
| And they hit that dude in the head with an axe many times. | ||
| Seven times. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| He's dead. | ||
| What the fuck, cowboy? | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| He got in trouble there because he put the blade to that dude's throat. | ||
| Yeah, you're not allowed to do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| Jump kick and then put it to his throat. | ||
| Oh my god, you can't do that. | ||
| And he said, dude, you can seriously not cut his head off. | ||
| The referee, stop! | ||
| Too violent! | ||
| How long before two dudes dress up in samurai outfits with no fucking armor and go at it with a sword? | ||
| How can you take an axe to the head six times? | ||
| You can't, obviously. | ||
| The guy went down. | ||
| Down, but I mean, how come there's no blood? | ||
| Well, I think because of his helmet. | ||
| I want the mace. | ||
| Look at the mace. | ||
| Oh, but this is so crazy. | ||
| They're fighting for points, too, and somehow they scored a point, and then they restarted. | ||
| So you can't stab. | ||
| I haven't seen any stabbing going on, because I feel like that would be my move. | ||
| Well, here's what's unrealistic about it. | ||
| In the real world, if people were fighting like this, they would be stabbing each other. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| So these fights would be quicker. | ||
| So there's something about using these blunt objects and not being able to stab each other that makes it almost more ridiculously brutal. | ||
| This is a crazy fucking sport. | ||
| Look how big that dude is. | ||
| That's the mountain. | ||
| This is awesome. | ||
| They tackle each other? | ||
| I think when you're down, you're down. | ||
| Yeah, he seems confident. | ||
| I wouldn't be confident if I was in the war. | ||
| I'd be thinking that guy's gonna stab me in the dick. | ||
| Yeah, I gotta get up now. | ||
| How crazy would war be? | ||
| How fucking crazy would old time war be? | ||
| Old time, barbarian style, sword, maces. | ||
| If you're the guy and you're choosing, what would be your weapon? | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Sitting on the ridge, sniping. | ||
| Imagine being the guy like, yep, grabbing your maces, just like you walk into the Onnit Academy, and you're like... | ||
| 10, 12, 20, or the fucking three-headed 30-pounder. | ||
| And you're like, that's mine. | ||
| Would he have six good swings out of you? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Especially if you're a guy who doesn't train. | ||
| He probably weren't really training that much. | ||
| And then you're fatigued. | ||
| And dying. | ||
| And then some dude's cutting your head off. | ||
| And you get to see that sword right when it hits your neck, then you go into the afterlife. | ||
| You're six. | ||
| You're six. | ||
| Good. | ||
| You're lifting people off their feet. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| The ridiculous final. | ||
| 21 versus 21? | ||
| 21. U.S. versus Russia. | ||
| Look at the tiny pig pen they have him in. | ||
| This is insane, dude. | ||
| Oh, U.S. is here? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Battle of the Nations, it's called. | ||
| Man, I hate to tell you, but I just don't think the U.S. is going to do very well. | ||
| Against Russians? | ||
| Well, I mean, I just don't know if U.S. has much knight... | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Lineages, do we? | ||
| No. | ||
| We don't have a lineage in knighting. | ||
| Zero, right? | ||
| Zero. | ||
| But does Russia? | ||
| Do they have a lineage in knighting? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think I'd want to be on the Scottish or the English team. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Braveheart style. | ||
| Braveheart style for sure wins every year. | ||
| I mean, when you look at MMA and how crazy MMA is in comparison to boxing and how people have embraced it, this is like... | ||
| If they figure out a way to regrow limbs... | ||
| If they figure out a way where 100% if you get your arm cut off, they can grow that bitch back. | ||
| People are doing this, man. | ||
| Yeah, but you can't regrow your heart back or your head. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| You can't stab them in the heart. | ||
| You can't cut their head off, but you can cut their legs off. | ||
| So that would be like a three-point stance or no kicks to the dick. | ||
| No eye gouges. | ||
| No heart piercing and no head chopping. | ||
| Yeah, that would be the rules. | ||
| But you can cut a guy's arm off. | ||
| And they immediately seal it up real quick, and they rush him to the hospital. | ||
| You won by KO. Cut his arm off. | ||
| Or can you still fight? | ||
| They grow him a new arm. | ||
| I feel like I'd still fight. | ||
| And a couple weeks later, he's at the press conference with a little baby arm. | ||
| He's like, fuck cowboy. | ||
| Next time. | ||
| As soon as my arm grows back, I'm going to kick his ass. | ||
| Right now I've got a little baby arm. | ||
| This motherfucker's getting bigger every day. | ||
| You think in movie, arm grow back. | ||
| Do you think it comes back little to big? | ||
| I think it's like a sprout. | ||
| It's how it has to grow. | ||
| It has to stretch out and grow. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I would think. | ||
| Along the way. | ||
| Like an alligator arm. | ||
| Like an alligator doesn't just grow. | ||
| The whole thing doesn't just pop out. | ||
| They start slowly. | ||
| They regrow theirs? | ||
| Yeah, they regrow theirs. | ||
| No shit, I didn't know that. | ||
| Scary ass fuckers. | ||
| Gators. | ||
| They're so scary. | ||
| Lizards regrow their legs. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I gotta love gators. | ||
| Those are my friends. | ||
| I call them gators. | ||
| Hang out on the boat, eat all the food, drink all the alcohol, and when it comes time to fill that bitch up, their little arms can't reach their wallets. | ||
| Oh, those kind of... | ||
| That's like T-Rex arms. | ||
| It's the gators. | ||
| But you can't make shoes out of them. | ||
| No. | ||
| They're not as cool. | ||
| Not as cool at all. | ||
| The gators, baby. | ||
| Gators, when I was a kid, I used to live in Florida. | ||
| We lived near Lake Alice in Gainesville, and alligators were endangered when I was a kid. | ||
| Yeah, like they were telling people not to feed them because people throw marshmallows in the water. | ||
| Why do they like marshmallows so much? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| They love them though. | ||
| And the gators would eat the marshmallows, but it was cool to do. | ||
| We would get marshmallows and throw them in the water. | ||
| And then they started telling you can't do it. | ||
| They don't digest them well. | ||
| Like these are in danger. | ||
| We have to take care of them. | ||
| And then from then on, they just slowly but surely overwhelmed to the point where like, okay, you can hunt them. | ||
| Okay, you can shoot 500 of them a year. | ||
| Like they have tags where 500 alligators can get killed by one dude. | ||
| 500. 500. That's some serious hunting. | ||
| Yeah, that's some serious hunting. | ||
| That's one and a half a day. | ||
| Yeah, every day. | ||
| Well, they only have a season, so they're doing way more than one a day. | ||
| But they're doing a bunch of different ways. | ||
| They're doing lines, they put lines in the water with hooks. | ||
| So what's the line thing? | ||
| They swallow a hook, is that what's going on, and then they're just... | ||
| And they thrash around, you shoot them in the head. | ||
| Right, but they're essentially on a hook in their belly. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| You ever see swamp people? | ||
| I do, but I just didn't ever grasp, like, does the hook them in the mouth or is it in their gut? | ||
| It's sometimes in the mouth. | ||
| It's like fishing. | ||
| Sometimes, I mean, if you have a line for a catfish, you lay out a line. | ||
| Like, a lot of times you'll catch them and they're barely hooked. | ||
| Sometimes you catch them and they're hooked deep. | ||
| So that's the same thing they do. | ||
| And then they pull them in and they shoot them. | ||
| But they can shoot 500 of... | ||
| I was watching that swamp people show. | ||
| And the guy had a tag limit of 500 alligators. | ||
| What does a gator pay? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| And what do they do with the gator besides make bitchin' ass booze for me? | ||
| They make bitchin' ass booze for you. | ||
| They make... | ||
| I mean, do you eat gator? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Apparently, it's the highest in protein. | ||
| It's higher than moose. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, I've been to Papados. | |
| I've been to Papados. | ||
| And you can get an appetizer alligator. | ||
| But you're getting some frozen bullshit, which you really want to do, apparently, according to all the people I know. | ||
| In New Mexico, I think it's fresh alligator, but... | ||
| My friend John Dudley is an alligator hunter. | ||
| He hunts alligators occasionally. | ||
| And he shoots them with a bow and arrow. | ||
| And he says that they're delicious if you get the gator tail like right after the gator dies. | ||
| It's delicious. | ||
| It's super lean. | ||
| You don't cook it very long. | ||
| It's like one of those things you cook it like, you know, I guess you'd have to cook it like a pork. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I wonder if they get trichinosis like a pig does. | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| I'm sure they live in a nasty swamp. | ||
| Yeah, but I wonder if they're, like, susceptible to it. | ||
| Because, like, when they eat it, I wonder if their body breaks it down the same way our body does, or a pig's body does, or a bear, or even a mountain lion. | ||
| That's where all the cases of trichinosis come from. | ||
| But when they do that, apparently it's delicious. | ||
| When you take an alligator, a freshly killed alligator, it's supposed to be really... | ||
| And super high protein. | ||
| Higher than even, like, moose. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Higher than bison. | ||
| Higher than anything. | ||
| It's supposed to be good. | ||
| 500 a tag. | ||
| And how many tags are given out? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's a good question, but they're trying to get rid of them. | ||
| Is there 10 guys with 500 apiece, or is there... | ||
| I mean, what's the... | ||
| It's a good question. | ||
| I don't know, but I know that there's a surplus. | ||
| There's too many alligators. | ||
| Like, they're everywhere. | ||
| Whenever I'm down wakeboarding in Florida, I see them all the time in the water with us. | ||
| Like, God damn it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Gator'd. | ||
| Did you see that one video where that fucking gator walked on the golf course and it's a 15-footer? | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| We can't show it because those fucking people, they got my Facebook pulled down. | ||
| Whoever owns that- For gators? | ||
| For putting that video up. | ||
| Why? | ||
| They claimed it was their video or something. | ||
| They linked a YouTube video or something. | ||
| Oh, that's why. | ||
| They're trying to make money off of it. | ||
| But look, we can see it. | ||
| Look at that thing, walking across the golf course. | ||
| Look how big that is. | ||
| That's the gator from Hook. | ||
| That's the gator from Hook. | ||
| It's so huge. | ||
| And you get it into perspective when the guy comes into the focus in a little bit, because the guy's filming this, and then in a few minutes, the dude walks out. | ||
| See, now you understand how big it is when you see that guy in front of it. | ||
| No, I understood how big he was when he walked past the huge sand trap. | ||
| Look how tall he is, too. | ||
| That's what's weird, is how long they're And he hangs out at hole nine in the little pond. | ||
| Florid is so fucked up. | ||
| Dude, look how big he is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How old is he? | |
| That's got to be an old alligator. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I don't know how old he is, but he's been eating a lot of dogs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow! | |
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I would eat that. | ||
| You'd eat him? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| How do you kill a gator? | ||
| Shoot him in the head. | ||
| You gotta shoot him in the head. | ||
| It's gotta be a headshot. | ||
| Yeah, it's gotta literally be, there's a very small area you're shooting at too. | ||
| Like right behind the eyes. | ||
| With a bow and arrow? | ||
| You could do it, yeah. | ||
| Same, same. | ||
| Yeah, that one though, man. | ||
| Goddamn. | ||
| There's another angle on him. | ||
| Look how big he is. | ||
| Look at his mouth. | ||
| Look at his fucking tail. | ||
| I mean, it doesn't even look real. | ||
| Like, if that was in a movie, you'd be like, fuck that. | ||
| That's not real. | ||
| Lake Placid. | ||
| That's the Lake Placid alligator. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How much does he need to eat to sustain... | |
| That little walk he's doing. | ||
| Oh my god, I would imagine. | ||
| Two dogs a day? | ||
| I would imagine they eat a lot of fucking things. | ||
| Oh, he's done. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| Game over. | ||
| Sonnen. | ||
| Lays out. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| How close does this guy get up to him? | ||
| This is insane. | ||
| People are living right next to dinosaurs. | ||
| That's a fucking dinosaur. | ||
| Look at the tail on that thing. | ||
| My God. | ||
| That is an insane animal. | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| 15 feet, does it say? | ||
| Yeah, they said it's 15 feet. | ||
| They estimated. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Easily 15 feet. | ||
| It's an enormous... | ||
| That's the high end. | ||
| That's like the one percenter of alligators. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's impressive. | ||
| Let's bring this bitch home, Donald Cowboy Cerrone. | ||
| So I think we've worked out a few things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We have. | |
| One, stay at 170 pounds. | ||
| I'm your new manager. | ||
| And then we go straight from me to Chris Brown. | ||
| To DMT. That's important. | ||
| And America. | ||
| America. | ||
| Tell Budweiser to relax. | ||
| Don't eat this. | ||
| Don't swallow it. | ||
| Any man should not swallow. | ||
| Definitely don't swallow that. | ||
| Just don't be scared of oysters. | ||
| Other than that, I think we covered it. | ||
| We got it. | ||
| This was fun, man. | ||
| We got to do this more often. | ||
| I had a great fucking time. | ||
| Anytime. | ||
| Donald Cowboy Cerrone, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| You can catch him on Twitter, Cowboy Cerrone. | ||
| Catch him on Instagram, Cowboy Cerrone. | ||
| Have his next fight, 205. Madison Square Garden. | ||
| Is that what's going to happen? | ||
| For sure? | ||
| Is that all? | ||
| We'll be able to tell you soon. | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
| Exactly what it is. | ||
| But it's going to be epic. | ||
| Epic. | ||
| Epic. | ||
| Thank you, brother. | ||
| It was awesome. | ||
| I enjoyed it. | ||
| We out of here. |
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