May 19, 2016 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:05:07
Participants
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Tom Papa, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| How are you? | ||
| We're live, fella. | ||
| It's good to be here. | ||
| So this is a statistic that I was going to tell you. | ||
| If you divvied up all the money, all the money in the entire country, all the money that we have, everyone would get $179,000. | ||
| That's it? | ||
| That's a lot. | ||
| That's all the money the U.S. has? | ||
| 300 million people. | ||
| This is according to the 2010 Federal Reserve document, so it's a few years old. | ||
| The total net worth of all U.S. households and non-profits is around $54.9 trillion. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| So that's $179,000 per person based on 307 million people. | ||
| Does that include children? | ||
| Yeah, 307 million people. | ||
| So your kids would get 100 grand, 179 grand. | ||
| That's pretty sweet. | ||
| That's pretty sweet. | ||
| Your 11-year-old would be fat with cash. | ||
| Finally. | ||
| Imagine an 11-year-old with $179,000. | ||
|
unidentified
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How much candy can you buy? | |
| They'd go fucking crazy. | ||
| The pool is filled with inflatable flamingos. | ||
| Yeah, there's a reason why you shouldn't be allowed to have that kind of money. | ||
| Matt, when I was at Disneyland, I was talking to this guide. | ||
| A real nice guy. | ||
| He's super cool because he's got so much knowledge about Disneyland. | ||
|
unidentified
|
George? | |
| No, his name is Philander. | ||
| That's his actual name. | ||
| He's not a Philanderer either. | ||
| He's a very nice gentleman. | ||
| Like a prince from like one of these Middle Eastern countries. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And one time it was a little boy and he was five years old. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh man. | |
| And he had all these grown men, like, you know, 40 year old men around him that had to listen to every fucking word he said. | ||
| So if he said, bring me candy! | ||
| They had to run over with candy. | ||
| I want to see the mouse. | ||
| Yeah, he does whatever he wants. | ||
| And he's five. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, they said he has, like, ungodly amounts of money. | ||
| He can do whatever he wants. | ||
| I mean, literally probably worth a billion dollars. | ||
| And he's five. | ||
| So he's probably just becoming aware of his power. | ||
| I think he's always been aware. | ||
| At four? | ||
| Yeah, but I think his model of how people are is they're servants. | ||
| They're just all servants. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's royalty. | ||
| My kids would be awful if they were in charge. | ||
|
unidentified
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Everybody's kids would! | |
| You would be, I would be. | ||
| The idea that you could take a five-year-old kid and give them ungodly amounts of money and power is kind of insane. | ||
| Especially with their mood swings at that age. | ||
| In the middle of Disney, like, I want to go to the airplane now! | ||
| I want an airplane now! | ||
| What's funny with kids is when they get tired. | ||
| They just can't deal. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| They just fall apart. | ||
| My favorite is when my daughter goes, carry me. | ||
| Like, you imagine you get to a point where you just like, you have to lift me around. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's too much effort to try to walk. | |
| Carry me! | ||
| My daughter still does that at 11, and it's just like, I can't! | ||
| I physically can't. | ||
| I can for two steps, and then I'm putting you down. | ||
| What is 11-year-old way? | ||
| 11, she told me the other day, I think like 89. Yeah, it gets too big! | ||
| It's too big and long! | ||
| It's long! | ||
| You're picking her up and her legs are dragging on the ground. | ||
| Especially if they want you to carry them like a baby. | ||
| It's like you're carrying a log! | ||
| You know, like you're carrying a giant piece of lumber. | ||
| I don't want to walk. | ||
| It's like, if I had to carry, like, I can carry my wife, like, I could throw her over my shoulders like, a fireman's carry. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, that's not it. | ||
| But nobody wants to be carried like that. | ||
| No. | ||
| Nobody wants to make it easy on you. | ||
| No, they want to be a little cuddle. | ||
| They want to nuzzle in. | ||
| Yeah, they don't want to make it easy on your arms or your body. | ||
| They have no idea. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nobody does squats in the curl position. | ||
| You don't do a curl and then do squats. | ||
| No, you throw them on your shoulders. | ||
| We were at SeaWorld, and my daughter wanted... | ||
| This was before we knew it was bad. | ||
| We just knew it was a lame place to go. | ||
| We didn't know it was evil. | ||
| And my daughter, my oldest one, was like a kid, and like four or something, and she's like, Dad, can you pick me up? | ||
| And I had, like, that macho squat moment of, yeah, I'll put you up there, and, like, hoisted her up right into a tree branch. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Full impact. | ||
| Knock. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| And then you feel so bad. | ||
| Like, you want to blame somebody other than you, and you're like, well, the SeaWorld branch people... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Assholes with their tree placement. | ||
| Oh, that was a rough one. | ||
| But no, my daughter at 11 still has... | ||
| The 14-year-old is not asking to be carried, but the 11-year-old still have moments of... | ||
| Well, I think there's also this thing going on with kids where they're realizing, like, wow, I'm going to be responsible for myself eventually. | ||
| This is coming. | ||
| This day is coming. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's unavoidable. | ||
| My daughter, you know, it's like puberty time, you know, and she is so aware of it. | ||
| And she literally said out loud the other night, I don't want to stop being a kid. | ||
| And I was like, well, look. | ||
| Look at our friends, because we have a lot of comedian friends. | ||
| I'm like, look at Erin. | ||
| She's a grown-up. | ||
| She's like, yeah, but she's different. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, but she's hung on to being a nut and having a good time. | ||
| But I got kind of bummed out as I was saying it, because I want to say to her, look, I'm not that much of a grown-up. | ||
| But to her, it's like, I'm the serious guy that's walking around scowling sometimes, you know, taking care of stuff. | ||
| That wouldn't relieve her, you know? | ||
| She sees me as a guy who's not having that much fun some of the time. | ||
| Well, don't you look at people that have incredible responsibilities, like the president, and you go, fuck that job! | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or CEOs of giant corporations that are working 20, 30 hours a day or whatever the fuck they're doing. | ||
| I think you just get in it. | ||
| I don't think you can work 30 hours a day. | ||
| You just get in it and you go, I guess. | ||
| I guess, but you look at them from an outsider's perspective and go, that is just, I don't want that. | ||
| I think a lot of times kids look at that about adults. | ||
| Like, honey, do you have your passport? | ||
| Where's your keys? | ||
| All right, all right, got my thing. | ||
| They look at it like, oh, what's going on? | ||
| He's got so much to handle. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's so much... | ||
| Get the stuff. | ||
| Did you lock the doors? | ||
| We're going out. | ||
| Did you call the bill guy? | ||
| Did you make sure of the payment? | ||
| What about the plumber? | ||
| Is that fixed? | ||
| Can we turn the water on? | ||
| Is it the... | ||
| The thing that drives me crazy when I look at those guys, the business guys and the president, it's not this president so much because he seems pretty funny, but they're so serious. | ||
| That's the one thing. | ||
| I don't take anything that serious around, even if people are screaming about whatever, anything. | ||
| I just will make a joke. | ||
| I keep it light. | ||
| I'm not clowning, but I will... | ||
| There was a dead lizard this morning in the washing machine. | ||
| And my wife's screaming, there's a lizard! | ||
| I'm like, could we keep him? | ||
| Just to let the kids know. | ||
| And they come back from these homes when they have playdates with... | ||
| Real grown-up fathers. | ||
| And they're like, nobody laughs over there. | ||
| It's really serious. | ||
| Well, a lot of people's lives are like a sentence. | ||
| You have a daily eight-hour sentence. | ||
| Your daily eight-hour sentence is to go to an office and do something you hate and then come home tired. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a TED podcast that I was listening to. | ||
| Let me come up with the name right here. | ||
| Maslow's Human Needs. | ||
| And I was listening to it on the way over here. | ||
| It's really fucking interesting. | ||
| Is Maslow the guy or is that the thing? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| I think it's the guy. | ||
| Who came up with these needs, a hierarchy of needs. | ||
| Of human needs. | ||
| Yeah, human needs. | ||
| Food, sleep, safety, love, purpose. | ||
| Psychologist, Abraham Maslow. | ||
| And that's his hierarchy triangle, like the food pyramid. | ||
| Which, by the way, is all fucked up. | ||
| The food pyramid, because I was reading a story to my six-year-old about... | ||
| It was one of those cat in the hat... | ||
| Like, the things you can do that are good for you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And one of the things they show the food pyramid, the bottom is all bread. | ||
| Bread's good. | ||
| Well, it's not. | ||
| Bread's good. | ||
| It's not! | ||
| It's not good for you, Tom Papa. | ||
| I know we started a resurgence. | ||
| Oh, you brought bread, you son of a bitch? | ||
| It's wrapped in a cloth, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Like he's some old-timey baker character. | ||
| The only thing I'm bummed out about is I didn't have a basket to bring it in. | ||
| Did you make that? | ||
| I made this. | ||
| This is a sourdough? | ||
| This is a sourdough bread. | ||
| From Tom Papa? | ||
| That made it into New York Times? | ||
| Yeah, when I did your show and talked about it. | ||
| This is a couple days old because I thought I was coming a couple days ago. | ||
| Ooh, dude, you even make the top a little flowery, like a real bakery. | ||
| Let me smell. | ||
| Oh, that smells so good. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| God, that smells good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's ancient sourdough. | ||
| Tom Papa, you fucking animal. | ||
| You brought a knife and everything? | ||
| Well, it looks like we're off the diet. | ||
| Today I was at the lowest weight I've been in, like, years. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I was 190 this morning. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, it's crazy. | ||
| How tall are you? | ||
| 5'8". | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I really, uh... | ||
| I don't think that this bread... | ||
| This is sourdough bread. | ||
| You digest it as a lower glycemic? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Supposedly. | ||
| Supposedly. | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
| I'm in though, dude. | ||
| Just slice it up. | ||
| Can I cut it on this? | ||
| Fuck yeah, yeah. | ||
| Alright, this is a couple days old, so it's not as... | ||
| If you scratch this table, it'll actually be good. | ||
| Like, it'll make it cooler. | ||
| So just cut it like it's a cutting board. | ||
| Don't be shy. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| This is how bread was made originally. | ||
| This is in ancient Egypt, 6,000 years ago. | ||
| Ancient Egypt? | ||
| Do you know that in ancient Egypt when they made bread, they ground their flour on mortar and pestle? | ||
| But they were really shitty. | ||
| And so they'd get a lot of sand in the flour. | ||
| So the people in ancient Egypt all had fucked up teeth, like worn down to the nerves. | ||
| Because they were chewing sand all day. | ||
| So the inside of their body was like a fucking... | ||
| What are those things called on birds? | ||
| What is that called? | ||
| Like a... | ||
| What is that thing that they do? | ||
| The crop. | ||
| Where you have your gizzard. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You have your fucking rocks in there and you chew up your food. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Which is apparently one of the reasons why they made lead shot illegal in California. | ||
| Because if people do shooting clays, or if they shoot things in those little lead pellets from shotguns, birds will actually eat those. | ||
| And it goes in their gizzard, and they use it to... | ||
| To grind things up, but then they get lead poisoning. | ||
| That's the thing with the California condor. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, that's one of the reasons why California condors... | ||
| One of the reasons why they made lead illegal for ammunition in California is because of California condors. | ||
| Because they would dump fucks. | ||
| Eating pellets. | ||
| Don't you know that's not a rock, you stupid fuck? | ||
| Some condor. | ||
| They look dumb. | ||
| They are dumb as fuck. | ||
| They really do look dumb. | ||
| But we need them. | ||
| This should be toasted. | ||
| I mean, toasted would really be the thing that would get you... | ||
| I'm gonna tell you right now, folks. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| I'm so happy to see you eat bread. | ||
| This is pretty good. | ||
| Nice and airy. | ||
| We haven't bought bread since I started this. | ||
| How long ago was that? | ||
| December. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| We have not bought bread. | ||
| Do you know bread in your supermarket? | ||
| This is made with three ingredients. | ||
| This is flour, water, and salt. | ||
| That's it. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's it. | |
| You know, from your sourdough starter. | ||
| Bread, like the healthy whole wheat bread you just get at Ralph's or whatever, 32 ingredients. | ||
| 32. This is pure. | ||
| And is that just because it's preserved? | ||
| Preservatives and flavors and... | ||
| People get so mad when you eat on a microphone. | ||
| I know, but it's so good. | ||
| Normally, folks, I would never do this to you. | ||
| I'm only doing this to you because Tom Papa brought some bread in, and I'm going to break my diet for a few hours. | ||
| The sourdough flavor, like that little after flavor in the top of your mouth, that's a bacteria. | ||
| That's lactobacillus or something like that. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, this is really good. | ||
| You're an excellent bread guy. | ||
| It's pretty good. | ||
| This whole stand-up comedy thing doesn't pan out? | ||
| Dude... | ||
| I'm gonna just go into it. | ||
| After doing your podcast and then talking about it on my podcast... | ||
| It just kind of erupted. | ||
| People were just so interested in just this pure, making something small and simple. | ||
| And I think I told you when I saw you at the comedy store, it was like, you know, you have some real men listeners, like dudes, who look like they're going to call you for advice on a truck, and they're like, I can't get my starter right. | ||
| There's some like... | ||
| And people would start sending me pictures of their bread and pictures of their sourdough. | ||
| And then this guy from the New York Times, Sam Sifton, the editor, was doing an article on it. | ||
| So he contacted me. | ||
| And I was part of this whole thing about people keep their sourdough starter like a pet. | ||
| So it was kind of like this revival of this little method. | ||
| So I ended up in this article in the New York Times. | ||
| Yeah, I read it. | ||
| I had a lot of people send me articles about starters, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like people in England that have 150-year-old starters and all this crazy shit. | ||
| Weird. | ||
| It's so good, though. | ||
| I had never even heard about it until you brought it up. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I had no idea. | ||
| I had no idea either until a month before that. | ||
| I was under the impression, and it was with zero research. | ||
| Just my head. | ||
| This is how you make bread. | ||
| I thought you'd take flour and water and eggs and yeast. | ||
| Yeah, you add yeast. | ||
| Pour yeast in. | ||
| And that's all I thought. | ||
| I never knew that you had like... | ||
| That you take flour and mix it with water and then you get yeast out of the air. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When you told me that, I was like, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| It's just floating around us all the time. | ||
| But did you know that's the case with nitrogen? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-mm. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| The reason why there's so many people on this planet, and this is from a Radiolab podcast that highlighted, I think it was called The Bad Show? | ||
| The Radio Lab podcast was highlighting how sometimes really bad people do really good things. | ||
| Sometimes it's difficult to differentiate between someone who's bad or good because what they've done is so amazing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's a guy named Fritz Haber. | ||
| And Fritz Haber was a scientist in Germany. | ||
| And what Haber did was he figured out a way to extract nitrogen from the air. | ||
| Because apparently our air is mostly nitrogen. | ||
| It's a massive part of what's in the air is nitrogen. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I don't know what percentage. | ||
| Young Jamie, what percentage? | ||
| Jamie! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jamie, please, what percentage of the oxygen surrounding the five-year-old monarch? | |
| Candy! | ||
| I want to know how much nitrogen is in the air. | ||
| Jamie! | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| 20%. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So, okay. | ||
| By volume, dry air contains 78% nitrogen. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| 20% oxygen. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| 78% nitrogen. | ||
| So, the air is mostly nitrogen, and we need nitrogen for fertilizer. | ||
| So, Fritz Haber came up with this method called the Haber method of extracting nitrogen from air, and that is what we use primarily for fertilizer. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's a big part of what We need to make sure that the ground is viable for growing food. | ||
| Well, the Haber method is responsible for the nitrogen apparently that's in 50% of the people on the planet, extracted directly from the Haber method. | ||
| What do you mean, in the people? | ||
| The nitrogen from, say if you grow plants, right, and you eat those plants, the nitrogen that gets in your body from those plants, 50% of it is coming from this one guy's method that he invented in World War I. Crazy. | ||
| It is crazy. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| So what was in us in the 1800s? | ||
| Fertilizer from fish things like that like you you'd have to get mulch compost and That's how a lot of people do it today with organic farming right now they use right like in my house We we take our chicken eggs and and things that we don't eat and it goes into this pile with leaves and oh, yeah Yeah, you have to compost is tricky like yeah, it's you have to kind of create an environment for bacteria and stuff to grow and you When plants eat, they don't just eat water, right? | ||
| It's not just photosynthesis, but they also need nutrients from the soil. | ||
| And they get their nutrients in the soil from dead things, from decaying bodies, from worms and just bugs and all kinds of shit. | ||
| Well, this guy, Fritz Haber, figured out how to get the nitrogen in order to fertilize the ground, just getting it out of the air. | ||
| But he also created Zyklon B. Zyklon A and B. The shit that they use to kill Jews in the concentration camps. | ||
| That guy created that. | ||
| What an evil name. | ||
| You know that's bad shit as soon as they say it. | ||
| Zyklon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Zyklon. | |
| That's how you say it, right? | ||
| Zyklon? | ||
| So he came up with Zyklon A, and Zyklon A was this gas, but there was a scent attached to it so that you could smell it. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| So that you could know it's dangerous, get the fuck away from it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like gas. | |
| The Nazis switched it to Zyklon B. They took out that smell. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah. | |
| And that's what they used to gas people in the concentration camps. | ||
| So Fritz Haber, who by the way was a Jew, his Haber method created this horrible thing. | ||
| He also was one of the first people to institute Some form of chemical warfare in World War I. The same method that he used to extract nitrogen from the oxygen, somehow or another he utilized that method to bomb Allied troops with poison gas. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Apparently he was a fucking maniac. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it was directly his idea. | ||
| Not only was it directly his idea to bomb the Allies, but he was super excited about it. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So he just had this power of knowledge and... | ||
| Went right to evil. | ||
| Well, sort of, because he thought he was doing good, because he was doing it for Germany, you know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| But then, he was eventually... | ||
| When Hitler rose to power, he was fucked, because he was Jewish. | ||
| So because he was Jewish, you know, he didn't... | ||
| Because he was so valuable as a scientist, they didn't immediately lock him up. | ||
| But he was in this weird position where he had to take a stand. | ||
| And, you know, like... | ||
| What he was responsible for doing ultimately went on to kill untold millions of people. | ||
| Did he survive? | ||
| Did they keep him alive? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No, he died. | ||
| He died seeking I think it was some sort of healthcare in Switzerland or something like that. | ||
| I think he had like a bad heart. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And he died trying to make it there. | ||
| Because he was sort of exiled by his country and they wouldn't take him in England because of the... | ||
| Because he was wanted at the same time he was receiving a Nobel Prize for creating the Hopper Method. | ||
| He was wanted for crimes against humanity. | ||
| He was wanted as a war criminal for using this gas on the Allied troops. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jeez. | |
| So it's so complicated. | ||
| So on one hand, he was responsible for the death of all these people in this horrible, horrible way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But on the other hand, the Haber Method, again, is responsible for, like, literally, they believe that the population boom is directly attributable to his invention. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Just a side thing. | ||
| At what point did it become a war crime to use gas? | ||
| I think nobody had ever done it before. | ||
| So they just saw how bad it was and immediately was like, this is heinous. | ||
| The idea of a war crime is very strange. | ||
| It's tricky. | ||
| Because when you said, well, he thought he was doing a good thing because it's his country that he's protecting. | ||
| And it hadn't been done before that people were using gas. | ||
| So it's like, why would that be a crime at that time? | ||
| Well, what's a war crime and what isn't, right? | ||
| Like, is dropping a bomb, is that a war crime if you drop a bomb on a city? | ||
| Hydrogen, nuclear, whatever you want to do? | ||
| I mean, isn't it a war crime if you indiscriminately kill people who happen to be in the area that you're bombing? | ||
| What's the crime? | ||
| Like, you're supposed to be killing... | ||
| That's Tom Papa still digging around that bread. | ||
| I'm sorry, I'm still chewing. | ||
| This is the problem. | ||
| It's right in front of you. | ||
| That's what the problem is. | ||
| Wrap that bitch up. | ||
| Wrap that bitch up so we don't keep doing this. | ||
| Because otherwise, people will tolerate like a session of a podcast where you're chewing bread. | ||
| But if we keep going, they'll be fucking pissed. | ||
| And then Adam Kroll will get more viewers. | ||
| I'm glad that you ate it though. | ||
| I knew you'd be concerned about the bread. | ||
| Well, I hit a milestone this morning at 190. That's huge. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| Yeah, I've lost more than 10 pounds. | ||
| Since when? | ||
| How long has it been? | ||
| Five, six months? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Something like that? | |
| Five months? | ||
| Five months? | ||
| Just going real clean? | ||
| Well, I cut all the bullshit out and I started eating a high-fat diet, high healthy fats like avocados, coconut oil, things along those lines. | ||
| I just cut out bread, sugar, all that stuff. | ||
| No carbs? | ||
| Well, very little. | ||
| I get most of my carbs from vegetables, but man, I'll tell you, as far as physically, my energy level, it's amazing. | ||
| I feel so good. | ||
| Oh, I've never felt better. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, it's incredible. | ||
| I want to try this. | ||
| I think we just get used to feeling like shit. | ||
| It's really true. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know? | |
| It's totally true. | ||
| You just get used to it. | ||
| People are hungover. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're just kind of like in this fog and you're just like, that's just how I am. | ||
| Whether it's bad diet or booze or whatever. | ||
| What about the... | ||
| Do you see how Kimmel lost his weight? | ||
| How did he do it? | ||
| That fasting thing? | ||
| That 5-2 diet? | ||
| 5-2 diet. | ||
| It's five days he just eats whatever like a crazy person. | ||
| And then two days he eats under 500 calories. | ||
| And he attributes, he says he's been doing it for years, and this is why he's slim. | ||
| You know, he's a lot slimmer than he used to be. | ||
| And yeah, two days don't eat like 500 calories. | ||
| It's not, you know, it's like pickles and coffee. | ||
| And then the rest of the days he just eats whatever he wants to eat. | ||
| That can't be good for your body, right? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm just too stupid for this. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I do the minimal amount of research on almost everything. | ||
| You seem so knowledgeable about it, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I seem knowledgeable about a few things. | |
| It's true. | ||
| Whenever I have these kind of questions, like, Joe will know. | ||
| I know a few things, but if you, like, go into depth with me about them and you find out how shallow my knowledge truly is... | ||
| A woman came to my show in San Francisco this weekend. | ||
| Dr. Rhonda... | ||
| Patrick. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You met her? | ||
| No, she hit me on Twitter after she had been at the show and was thanking me for being so hilarious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hilarious. | |
| And I saw she had a lot of Twitter followers, so I just looked her up and... | ||
| Saw her on your show, and she was really interesting, and she's super smart about all this stuff, and just goes, the facts just pouring out of her. | ||
| But whether you're acting or not, you look like you knew what you're doing. | ||
| I'm not acting, but it's a perfect example because in comparison to her, I'm an idiot. | ||
| Well, yeah, but she's off the charts. | ||
| Well, that's how I look at it. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| Compared to a regular person, yeah, I can tell you what ketosis is and I can tell you why it's better to have your body burn fat, allegedly. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Although people disagree with it. | ||
| This is stuff like, Bobby Lee doesn't know this stuff. | ||
| Poor Bobby Lee. | ||
| He has a beautiful body. | ||
| Do you think so? | ||
| Everybody's into different shit. | ||
| Like a scallop. | ||
| Like a scallop. | ||
| Like a scallop with legs. | ||
| Remember those old days? | ||
| That was like a hot look? | ||
| What, being a schlubby? | ||
| Yeah, those like Victorian days. | ||
| People would just lie around and just look like a lardass and everybody was like, oh. | ||
| Yeah, it meant wealth. | ||
| It meant, oh, that guy can afford food. | ||
| Isn't that amazing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because back then it was probably difficult to get that fat too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because they weren't eating processed foods. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like all this stuff that we eat today, like candy bars and shit like that, Coca-Cola, it's just right to fat. | ||
| Immediate. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So like back then, if you were going to get that fat, like I always picture, whenever I picture Rubenesque, I picture somehow or another, I picture them naked on a couch. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| Like do you have like a... | ||
| Like, when you think of, like, overweight people from that part of time, I always picture them, like, lounging naked. | ||
| With food around them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Just fat as fuck. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| You had to eat a lot of food back then. | ||
| A lot. | ||
| But, you know, isn't it probably until, like, the last 40 years? | ||
| Because, like, when you look at movies even, like, in the 60s, Everybody. | ||
| The extras, the stars, beyond the stars. | ||
| Just the people in... | ||
| They're all thin. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're all thin. | ||
| They're just not the puffiness that we all have now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a puffiness that comes because we're trying to eat this bread. | ||
| We think it's whole wheat bread from the store, and it's got sugar. | ||
| It's got fruit. | ||
| It's got stuff in it that's puffing us up. | ||
| That didn't exist even in the 60s and 70s. | ||
| Well, a big part is corn syrup. | ||
| Did you ever see King Corn? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| The documentary? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's a crazy documentary where these guys, they're students, and they go and they get their body examined. | ||
| And they examine the doctor who does the tests on them, examines their carbon in their body and finds out that most of it comes from corn. | ||
| And they were like, what? | ||
| Like, what in the fuck is that? | ||
| So it sends them on this journey where they start examining the role that corn plays in our diet and food. | ||
| And they ultimately went... | ||
| And they got their own farmland and started growing some corn. | ||
| But they go into the whole process of corn, how corn is subsidized by the US government, and how much corn is in different products that we eat. | ||
| So these guys go to the supermarket. | ||
| And they walk down the aisle and just randomly start grabbing stuff and find out this has corn protein, this has corn syrup, this has this and that and that and this. | ||
| And fucking they use corn for everything, man. | ||
| And even the meat is all corn-fed animals. | ||
| Yes, and that's why they're so fat. | ||
| And yeah, they shouldn't be eating corn. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Well, when you have a steak and it's corn-fed, that big, thick layer of fat and the marbling, which we call marbling, that's like the cow dying. | ||
| That's the cow being a fat fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And you're like, yeah, unhealthy cow, get over here, baby. | ||
| That's the tasty part. | ||
| That's evil. | ||
| Yeah, it's weird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's weird that we like... | ||
| I mean, it does taste good, though. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| But to think that you... | ||
| I know. | ||
| A fatty piece of meat. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Like a fat, thick ribeye that's well-marbled. | ||
| Oh, good Lord. | ||
| Why is it so good if it's bad for you? | ||
| So good. | ||
| Why are the good things bad for you, Tom Papa? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's because God wants you to come see him in heaven. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Aw, sweetie. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| My new movement is to try and not eat factory farmed meat. | ||
| And... | ||
| Which basically means you're not eating meat most of the time. | ||
| Like, you can't eat it when you're out. | ||
| You can't eat pepperoni pizza. | ||
| You can't eat... | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, if you really want to try and know exactly where your meat is coming from, you're basically cutting a ton of meat out of your diet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because you can, for home use, go to a farmer's market, pick up a, you know, beef that is grown by, you know, raised it by this local... | ||
| Cattle hand. | ||
| But just to go out in the world on the road and just be like, I'm only going to eat where I know where it's come from. | ||
| Look at a room service menu. | ||
| Yeah, that's not going to happen. | ||
| You'd have to go to a restaurant where you knew what the farm was that they got it from, which there's a lot of those now. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, yeah. | ||
| I mean, you know, you go to these places now and they say farm-raised. | ||
| Yeah, farm-to-table places. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot more. | ||
| And cities that never had it, either. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, you go to, like, Cleveland, which was notorious for, like, you know, not giving a shit about their diet, and now there's a lot of places like that. | ||
| Yeah, well, I think... | ||
| The internet has sort of expanded people's idea of what food is, and I think a lot of chefs who really enjoy food but don't really enjoy this whole idea of factory farming, and they're trying to figure out, well, there's got to be a more wholesome approach to getting your food. | ||
| And so they make relationships with these farmers, and then they buy their food directly from them. | ||
| There's this one place in Maine... | ||
| That was on Anthony Bourdain's show. | ||
| I think it was on his early show, the No Reservation show. | ||
| And these people in Maine, they do everything. | ||
| And it's a short... | ||
| They're not open in the winter, because winters in Maine are just brutal. | ||
| So they're closed in the winter, but during the summer, spring, and fall, they have... | ||
| Everything on the menu is vegetables that they grow, and then they butcher their own animals. | ||
| They raise their own animals. | ||
| That was really weird because they were petting this pig. | ||
| They had the pig and they were petting him. | ||
| They were talking about how after you kill a couple of them, you start looking at them like, oh, this is a nice ham hock here. | ||
| The bacon's going to be good off of this one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's dark because you're directly connected to it. | ||
| You don't have that middle man that gives you a nice filter so you don't have to think about the morality behind killing that little piggy. | ||
| I know. | ||
| But it seems like those people are able to do it. | ||
| Like, it is kind of a natural thing. | ||
| Well, it's natural for farmers. | ||
| You know, if you talk to farmers, they get used to it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You get used to this idea that, you know, you have these things, you raise them, you love them, then you shoot them in the head and eat them. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| And look, you're not going to get rid of factory farming. | ||
| There's so many people that are eating. | ||
| It's going to exist. | ||
| But I just feel like maybe I don't have to participate in it. | ||
| Is it always going to exist? | ||
| You think it's always going to exist? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Yeah, it's spreading. | ||
| Why is it always going to exist? | ||
| Well, it's spreading and it's getting stronger. | ||
| I mean, factory farming is now ending up in places that never had a meat-based diet. | ||
| It's ending up all throughout Asia. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| Yeah, it's spreading. | ||
| It's not getting smaller. | ||
| But that's just because it's profitable, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If people just abandon it. | ||
| If people jump in and say, enough of that, I can't do this anymore. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then the demand drops. | ||
| Right. | ||
| What we got to do is we got to give everyone in America all that money so they get that $179,000. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They could afford that sweet, sweet farm-raised protein. | ||
| Hey, back to the science guy that made the Zyklon beast thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pritz Harbor. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Harbor. | ||
| Harbor. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So... | ||
| That's a guy that has a lot of good in his mind, but then it becomes this evil kind of a thing. | ||
| You were asking, what's a war crime? | ||
| You know, it's kind of fuzzy. | ||
| It depends on what side you're on and how you're living. | ||
| You could say the same thing about being a terrorist. | ||
| I mean, we see someone as being a terrorist as being something evil and awful. | ||
| But I'm sure, like, if you talk to a family, if an 18-year-old kid is like, you don't understand how my family is suffering in the middle of this desert and we're being tortured by these governments that came in and raped our land, he could make a case that would make you think, Well, you blowing up something is not really a war crime. | ||
| It's you fighting for your survival. | ||
| Sounds like Tom Pop is a terrorist sympathizer. | ||
| We found out two things about Tom Pop. | ||
| He likes bread and terrorists. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I love terrorism. | |
| It is that fuzzy thing. | ||
| Someone had asked me that question in regards to our own revolution. | ||
| When we started fighting outside of the lines and hiding in trees and doing some crazy kind of fighting, we weren't in those lines anymore. | ||
| It was like, these guys are rebels. | ||
| These guys are terrorists. | ||
| Yeah, you're cheating. | ||
| But I think you can probably dig back to the root of it and be like, well, you're hurting innocent people or whatever it is. | ||
| There probably is a line where you can say this is A war crime. | ||
| Well, what's interesting is at one point in time, war was handled in a gentlemanly way. | ||
| Like, the leaders of one army would meet with the leaders of the other. | ||
| And the general would actually hand his sword over to the other general. | ||
| And they'd either take it, or occasionally, in a gesture of good faith, they would give the sword back to him, accept defeat, or accept victory. | ||
| And they handled war by these very strict codes, at least at the highest levels. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then somewhere along the line, we figured that we don't... | ||
| I think that was because it was like super intimate. | ||
| Like for war back then, you had to kind of be on top of each other. | ||
| You know, you had to be like stabbing each other. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Or shooting each other with arrows at the very... | ||
| And it's not that far away. | ||
| From 25 yards. | ||
| Yeah, you're dealing with like much shorter distances. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then once they figure out bombs, like, I don't even know where this bomb's going, but fuck those people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Right, exactly. | ||
| Where's the general? | ||
| I'm dropping this on him. | ||
| And his sword. | ||
| I mean, isn't World War II the ultimate example of that? | ||
| I mean, World War II, when they drop those bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima, those bombs are... | ||
| That's the ultimate... | ||
| I don't even know what's going to happen down there. | ||
| I'm just going to let this motherfucker drop his... | ||
| Right. | ||
| They'd never dropped a bomb in a city before. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And this is the first time they dropped... | ||
| I mean, it only happened twice, ever, but those two nuclear bombs they dropped in those cities, they literally were like, whoever the fuck's down there, tough shit. | ||
| So long. | ||
| Babies. | ||
| Yeah, we're going to end this. | ||
| Yeah, you drop a bomb on a city, for sure you're killing babies. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Babies, puppies. | ||
| Old ladies, grandpa. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Grandpa and grandma might be kissing in the kitchen. | ||
| What a wonderful life we've had. | ||
| What the... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Worse is being like the guy who's just outside of the area that gets affected. | ||
| You know, the guy whose house doesn't get touched just a mile outside of it, who's just like, oh my god. | ||
| Well, there was one guy who escaped Hiroshima and went to Nagasaki, and then he got blown up in Nagasaki, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| That motherfucker must have thought the world was ending. | ||
| Old Bad Luck Jones. | ||
| This bullshit ass war. | ||
| I don't even have nothing to do with it. | ||
| I'm out here making sushi. | ||
| Surrender already. | ||
| Trying to read samurai books. | ||
|
unidentified
|
These fucking dudes are dropping nuclear bombs. | |
| I saw Adrian Brody had a cool quote on Woody Allen yesterday. | ||
| Just back to the thing of good and evil, whether this guy was a good person or a bad person. | ||
| We're asking him about Woody Allen. | ||
| He's like, you know, it's a complicated thing, being a person. | ||
| It's a complicated, messy affair. | ||
| And he's an artist, and I like his films, and it would be irresponsible of me to assume I know something of which I know very little. | ||
| I don't know what's going on in a man's life, let alone his sexual life, let alone his... | ||
| To assume that you know these things and treat them as truth when they haven't even been proven true, it's just a difficult thing. | ||
| The thing I latched onto is it's just such a mess being a person. | ||
| It is a mess being a person. | ||
| It's so complicated. | ||
| And especially a person that's been around for years. | ||
| Like, you know, you're 70 years old. | ||
| You've been around trying to be a person for a long time. | ||
| A long, long, long time. | ||
| You are going to make mistakes. | ||
| You are going to be, at the very least, a mess. | ||
| There's a thing about Woody Allen, though, where you're standing... | ||
| When you stand against him, you're not just standing against a human being who may or may not have done some fucked up things, but you're also standing against the idea of people doing the things that he is alleged to have done, like sexual abuse of minors. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, because that's one of the things that his... | ||
| Daughter and her brother are alleging that he did. | ||
| His son wrote an article about him. | ||
| You know about that, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ronan. | |
| Ronan Farrow. | ||
| Who's really Sinatra's son. | ||
| Yes, he's obviously Sinatra's son. | ||
| Oh man, he looks just like Sinatra. | ||
| He looks just like Sinatra. | ||
| Really smart guy. | ||
| So first of all, Mia Farrow's a whore. | ||
| Can we just say that? | ||
| Very promiscuous. | ||
| Well, she just liked the dick. | ||
| And Sinatra probably slang some good dick, you know? | ||
| Sinatra? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| This must be weird for Woody. | ||
| Like, growing up, he must be like, that is not my fucking kid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you think he ever got a DNA test? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, Jesus Christ. | |
| No, not back then. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's Mia Farrow and Sinatra's baby, 100%. | ||
| Yeah, there's no Woody and Ronan at all. | ||
| Does Woody Allen say that? | ||
| He looks a lot like Sinatra? | ||
| I've never heard him comment on it. | ||
| Well, it says it right there. | ||
| What's it say? | ||
| Right there, Woody Allen says, Ronan Farrow looks a lot like Frank Sinatra. | ||
| Gee, you think? | ||
| I mean, has there ever been a clear example? | ||
| Those eyes, the blue eyes. | ||
| Oh my god, look at his face. | ||
| Old blue eyes. | ||
| But his face, everything about him. | ||
| Jaw, lips, even the crease on the left-hand side, our left. | ||
| Why the fuck hasn't he gotten a DNA test? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'd be like, that kid needs to shut the fuck up and get rid of my name. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it's actually Farrow. | ||
| Ronan Farrow. | ||
| So it's not really his son. | ||
| But I guess he probably raised him as his son. | ||
| Is that the deal? | ||
| I guess he was around. | ||
| Geez, he's 78. Wow. | ||
| Addressed ex-girlfriend Mia Farrow's claims that their son Ronan may actually be her ex-husband Frank Sinatra's child. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I pause for a quick word on the Rowan situation, Alan wrote in the middle of his response to Dylan Farrell's detailed New York Times open letter accusing him of sexually abusing her. | ||
| Is he my son or, as Mia suggests, Frank Sinatra's? | ||
| Granted, he looks a lot like Frank with the blue eyes and the facial features, but if so, what does that say? | ||
| That all during the custody hearing, Mia lied under oath and... | ||
| So that means while she was with Woody, after being with Frank, going with Woody, she drifted back to Frank for a night or two. | ||
| She got some dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Got the world on a string. | |
| Living on a rainbow. | ||
| By the way, Mia Farrow, actress. | ||
| Most likely crazy. | ||
| Like, good luck finding an actress that's not crazy. | ||
| Or actor that's not crazy. | ||
| There's probably, I mean, two out of ten. | ||
| Maybe two out of ten aren't crazy. | ||
| I've met a lot of them. | ||
| They're real nice. | ||
| A lot of actors that are real nice. | ||
| But two out of ten, probably crazy. | ||
| I mean, not crazy. | ||
| Two out of ten, not crazy. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Maybe even one out of ten. | ||
| I'm nice. | ||
| I'm trying to... | ||
| I try to be nice. | ||
| They go crazy. | ||
| And the more, I was going to say, the more popular they are, or the more successful they are, the crazier they are. | ||
| But when they're not successful, they're crazy, too. | ||
| Yeah, they're just crazy. | ||
| You know who's not crazy at all? | ||
| Rosario Dawson. | ||
| She's great. | ||
| Super hot. | ||
| Super cool. | ||
| And super normal. | ||
| I did a Super Bisto with her. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| It's that animated film I made with Rob Zombie. | ||
| Oh yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She's like one of the weirder ones I've ever met. | ||
| You're like, huh, you're not even like an actress. | ||
| You're like a normal person. | ||
| Like a normal person. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| Are you immune? | ||
| Dangerous. | ||
| You didn't get the sickness. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It gets the sickness in its veins and its bones. | |
| It gets the sickness. | ||
| It needs Botox. | ||
| I want awards. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where's my award? | |
| They get awards that belongs to me. | ||
| Alone. | ||
| Didn't Sinatra give his divorce papers to Mia while she was doing Rosemary's Baby? | ||
| I believe something along those lines. | ||
| She was on the set with Polanski and he had delivered the... | ||
| You're hitting the skids, baby. | ||
| Right in the middle of her acting. | ||
| Well, back in those days, people just, you know, like a guy like Sinatra... | ||
| Had there ever... | ||
| Think of this. | ||
| When Sinatra was a celebrity, when he became famous, it was like the 30s, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah, before the war. | ||
| So the 30s and the 40s. | ||
| How long had celebrity even been around? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Brand new. | ||
| For movies and film? | ||
| And singing? | ||
| Like, you know, you had opera stars, but... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Not like that. | ||
| How long? | ||
| 10 years? | ||
| She was 21 and he was 50 when they were married, and she lost her virginity to him. | ||
| That's right, she did. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| So he made that baby when he was in his 50s. | ||
| What an animal. | ||
| That's older than us, dude. | ||
| We still got hope. | ||
| Still got hope. | ||
| The kid doesn't even seem autistic. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Back then they didn't have the fucking vaccines, man. | ||
| You either died or you lived, but you didn't get autistic. | ||
| I'm joking, folks. | ||
| Don't get mad at me. | ||
| Joe Rogan's an anti-vaxxer. | ||
| Why don't you go hang out with Jenny McCarthy? | ||
| They would just wait. | ||
| They just wait for anything they can... | ||
| Like someone was fucking saying, he's a Trump supporter. | ||
| He's a Trump supporter. | ||
| Someone was saying I'm a Trump supporter the other day. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, and then some internet thing, there was like a little Twitter argument going back and forth between two people. | ||
| I'm like, I'm not a fucking Trump... | ||
| You can't just say I'm a Trump supporter. | ||
| I mock the guy all the time. | ||
| Why are you saying I'm a Trump supporter? | ||
| Yeah, they're just waiting. | ||
| Well, they can define you. | ||
| Yeah, they want to. | ||
| Yeah, like you're a truther? | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're an anti-vaxxer? | ||
| Oh, great. | ||
| I was on... | ||
| Did I tell you this? | ||
| I was on... | ||
| I feel like I might have told you, but I'll tell you again, because we can't remember anything anyway. | ||
| I was back in New York, and I went on Opie and Jim in the morning, and I was talking about... | ||
| Jim was talking about Trump, and it was the beginning of Trump, and I was saying, I've met the guy. | ||
| I don't feel like there's a little something sleazy about the guy. | ||
| There's something there that's... | ||
| You know, you should hold different standards for this office. | ||
| I don't say where. | ||
| I'm not saying I'm on Hillary's side or anything. | ||
| I'm independent. | ||
| But I'm talking about the Trump thing. | ||
| The Twitter feed goes crazy. | ||
| Hillary lover, you know, scumbag, liberal, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| I go on Larry Wilmore that night. | ||
| And on his show, The Nightly Show, and there's a story about some girl who yells at her boss on Twitter, because she worked for Yelp, I think, and he wasn't paying her enough. | ||
| She was complaining about... | ||
| Being poor in her 20s and screw the man and he should pay me more and all this kind of stuff. | ||
| And there was more to it. | ||
| But I came down on the side of, we're all poor in our 20s. | ||
| You just got to suck it up. | ||
| I was making $5 a night doing stand-up. | ||
| Just eat your noodles and get working and buck up. | ||
| The Twitter feed after that, Trump supporter, lover right wing, white entitled asshole. | ||
| White entitled asshole. | ||
| As if the melanin in your skin has anything to do with your ideas about how the world works. | ||
| Oh, but you're free to say it now. | ||
| Yeah, white privilege. | ||
|
unidentified
|
White privilege! | |
| But just that, in one day, people were coming... | ||
| Yeah, on both sides. | ||
| ...trying to categorize me on both sides of it. | ||
| Did you feel like you were in the middle? | ||
| Like, officially? | ||
| I felt pretty great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean... | |
| I felt pretty good. | ||
| When you get back to that Woody Allen thing for a second, there's a big fuss about him now because people are sort of like defending him because he does these movies and the movies are critically acclaimed and people look at them as like vehicles for awards and vehicles for a career jump and so people work with him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And at the very least, at the very least, he married his daughter. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| See, there's a picture to me that defines him. | ||
| And this is why we can't be friends. | ||
| You and Woody? | ||
| He and I. You and I are friends. | ||
| I just didn't want you to feel bad. | ||
| Like, what the fuck, dude? | ||
| Let me be the judge of that. | ||
| Let me see what you say about Woody first. | ||
| There's a picture of him with Soon-Yi, is that her name? | ||
| On his lap at a basketball game. | ||
| There it is, right there. | ||
| When she was a little girl. | ||
| And then there's another picture of the two of them together... | ||
| When she's grown up and they're holding hands and they're at a basketball game as well. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| See, as a guy who grew up with a stepdaughter, that's fuck beyond belief. | ||
| Because my stepdaughter, I don't call her my stepdaughter, she's my daughter. | ||
| She calls me daddy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| She's my daughter. | ||
| How old was she when you were in the scene? | ||
| Well, she was little. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So specifically, she's a woman now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And specifically, she was tiny then. | ||
| So this is the same thing. | ||
| I'm looking at this. | ||
| So I'm looking at Woody with that little girl on his lap, and then I'm looking at Woody holding hands with her. | ||
| There's a weirdness to that kind of relationship. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's undeniable. | ||
| How old is she in that picture? | ||
| She's like fucking six, man. | ||
| That's a tiny little girl sitting on his lap. | ||
| Oh my god, that's weird. | ||
| See, that is... | ||
| I've never seen that. | ||
| That is where... | ||
| And there's something also that's creepy about his face in that picture. | ||
| And maybe it's because we know that he eventually wound up fucking her. | ||
| It's also weird that you don't see his hands. | ||
| They're deep in her ass, I heard. | ||
| That's what I heard. | ||
| No, that picture, though, that face is like, daddy's got candy for you. | ||
| You know, there's some creepiness to his face, obviously. | ||
| It's a still picture. | ||
| He might have been about to sneeze. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And we're like, oh, look at him, the creepy face fuck. | ||
| You know, like, taking photos of someone like that is also very rude. | ||
| Did you ever hear Emo's joke? | ||
| Emo Phillips' joke about that? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's one of the best jokes I've heard by Emo Phillips. | ||
| I like how you just qualified that. | ||
| By Emo Phillips. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of jokes out there. | ||
| He's so funny. | ||
| But his joke is, Woody Allen adopted Soon Yee when she was four years old. | ||
| Married her when she was 16. Patience of a saint. | ||
| Did he marry her when she was 16? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That can't be right, is it? | ||
| I don't think legally you can. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh boy. | |
| Maybe 18. Maybe they started dating when she was 16. It's illegal, right? | ||
| It's not legal until... | ||
| That picture, that does kind of... | ||
| I've never seen that picture before. | ||
| That's not a kinda. | ||
| Obviously my... | ||
| My life, you know, the way I look at it, it's like I'm not looking at someone who doesn't have children, nor are you. | ||
| When you have children, you know what it's like to raise little tiny people and then have them be grown up. | ||
| And then the idea of like, say, if you and your wife got divorced when you were younger and your four-year-old went to live with another guy and he lived with her until she was 18, then he wound up marrying her and fucking her and having kids with her. | ||
| See what I'm saying? | ||
| Yeah, but you see what I'm saying? | ||
| That is exactly what we're talking about. | ||
| Okay, so... | ||
| That's an intense flaw. | ||
| Huge. | ||
| That being said, two questions. | ||
| Will you watch his movies? | ||
| I've watched his movies. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a stink in the air, though. | ||
| If he calls you and wants you to be in his next film, you don't work with him. | ||
| No. | ||
| You do not go near that. | ||
| No fucking way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No fucking way. | ||
| Not like he's calling me or anything. | ||
| Did you grow up thinking Woody Allen was like a comedy god? | ||
| No. | ||
| I grew up thinking he was very funny. | ||
| His movies were really funny. | ||
| I enjoyed a lot of his movies. | ||
| But he wasn't like one of your guys. | ||
| Sleeper, Annie Hall. | ||
| No, he had a lot of great films. | ||
| Amazing films. | ||
| Crimes and Misdemeanors. | ||
| Hannah and Her Sisters. | ||
| And even the most recent stuff. | ||
| The Dice Clay movie. | ||
| What was that? | ||
| Jasmine Blue. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was great. | ||
| Barcelona. | ||
| Yeah, that was great too. | ||
| And what was the Midnight in Paris? | ||
| That was really good too. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Yeah, where Owen Wilson actually plays Woody Allen. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, he was doing like a Woody Allen impression. | ||
| He's the Woody Allen guy. | ||
| Yeah, it was interesting. | ||
| And that's where Adrian Brody was great. | ||
| He was playing Salvador Dali. | ||
| I am Dali. | ||
| I am Dali. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's, look, he's obviously really good at making movies, but, you know, we played some of his stand-up on the podcast before, and from, like, the 60s, the early 60s, and he was always a pervert in the early stand-up. | ||
| It was, like, really pervy. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Well, look at Sleeper. | ||
| There's a giant tit chasing him across the park in Central Park. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| This giant lactating tit, 50 feet tall. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This guy was a perv. | ||
| He was a weird fucking guy. | ||
| I know. | ||
| No ifs, ands, or buts about it. | ||
| He was a weird fucking guy. | ||
| And he is a weird fucking guy. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And I guess what he's done is not a crime. | ||
| Because if you look at the actual law, he didn't do anything wrong. | ||
| It's not his biological daughter. | ||
| No. | ||
| You mean with Sun Yee? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I guess he can kind of do that. | ||
| But then there's a thing that his biological daughter says that he did weird shit to her. | ||
| The problem with that is that he says that his daughter was coached by the mom and there's just no way to know. | ||
| I mean, it would be horrible if you accused him of sexually molesting his daughter and was really just a manipulation by the mother. | ||
| And that is entirely possible. | ||
| You don't know. | ||
| And there's this idea that you're never supposed to judge someone who's making an accusation. | ||
| You're never supposed to question them. | ||
| They are the victim. | ||
| But I don't buy that. | ||
| I think that's nonsense. | ||
| There's an incredibly large amount of fake rape cases, fake molestation cases. | ||
| These people lie about everything. | ||
| They lie about money, they lie about sex, they lie about getting fucked by Frank Sinatra while they're married. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| Until he turns out to be old blue eyes. | ||
| You're just that alone, just looking at that. | ||
| You're like, listen, bitch, you got a problem with the truth. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| Yeah, that's the other side of it, right? | ||
| She's not clean either. | ||
| Yeah, she was taking that crooner dick while she was living with Woody. | ||
| You know, she'd sneak off for a coffee. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm just going to go out and get a coffee. | |
| This fucking toupee falls off. | ||
| Welcome to the Copa. | ||
| Welcome to the club. | ||
| I gave you a kid. | ||
| All of a sudden he became dice. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| What a world! | ||
| I'm in love! | ||
| No, it's very tricky. | ||
| I mean, look, if your wife had any hint that something was going on with you, she would have gone crazy and just, like, you know, just, please. | ||
| It's very complicated. | ||
| Well, he obviously did eventually leave her for the Sunni. | ||
| What are we, like, gossipers? | ||
| I just think... | ||
| No, but it is kind of an interesting thing because, I mean, if you were to... | ||
| What you said of, like, that it represents other people that do this is kind of the swing thing. | ||
| Because everybody... | ||
| If you didn't work with people because of their private life... | ||
| And things you didn't agree with, you would never work with anybody. | ||
| Because people are a mess. | ||
| You'd have to sit down with them and go over their private life. | ||
| Okay, have you ever lied to a cop? | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, have you ever lied about speeding? | ||
| Have you ever not paid your taxes? | ||
| Now let's get into your sex life. | ||
| Please. | ||
| Do you ever think about other people when you cum? | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What are you saying? | ||
| Okay, this meeting is over. | ||
| I had a buddy of mine that actually got in an argument like that with his girlfriend. | ||
| She was like, my friend says that guys fantasize about other women while they're having sex with their girlfriend. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| And he was like, well, sometimes. | ||
| She's like, you fucking piece of shit! | ||
| She got really mad at him. | ||
| And I remember thinking about it, like, why do you care? | ||
| I guess... | ||
| If your wife was just thinking about just getting stuffed by some big ass country football player. | ||
| Some big dude with like chewing tobacco in his mouth and a fucking rebel flag hat on. | ||
| He's just laying pipe on her. | ||
| And that's what she's thinking about when you fuck her. | ||
| She's thinking about some corn Fred. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yee-haw! | |
| You know, imagine, right? | ||
| You'd be like, oh, fuck, man. | ||
| But that's why you don't ask the question. | ||
| That's why you don't ask. | ||
| That probably is happening, but you don't ask. | ||
| If you really love your wife, you want to know everything about her. | ||
| No. | ||
| You want to know everything. | ||
| You want to know when she's disappointed. | ||
| I love you, honey, but I hate that face you make when you cum. | ||
| You make me disgusted. | ||
| That's why I won't fuck you. | ||
| You just walk into the kitchen in the morning, honey, what are you thinking? | ||
| So next time you fuck her, just wear a luchador mask. | ||
| Or even better yet, like a Godzilla. | ||
| Robert Godzilla Fantasies are weird man because like you can't I remember when I was in high school there was a Guy who's writing for the Newton South high school paper who wrote this cool thing about the Boy Scouts and And I remember reading this, because I was in the Boy Scouts briefly as a young teenager, and they had, you know, the tenants, like, trustworthy, loyal, thrifty, clean, reverent. | ||
| And, like, one of the things about... | ||
| What the Boy Scouts were supposed to do is keep your mind pure. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Keep your thoughts pure. | ||
| And this guy was like, who wrote this article, obviously this is in high school in the 1980s. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The guy was pretty brilliant. | ||
| And he was like, I don't like the idea of anyone telling me what I can and can't do with my thoughts, because sometimes my thoughts are fun. | ||
| I like to explore the idea of thinking about, and his argument in this newspaper, and I'm like grossly paraphrasing him, because again, this is like from 1982 or something like that. | ||
| He was like, you don't need to know what's going on in my thoughts, you just need to know how I act. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| How I act is important, not what I think. | ||
| So telling me to keep my thoughts pure is like, my thoughts are mine. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They're mine. | ||
| I do what I want with them. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| So if your girlfriend is just thinking about that big country fucker with like a piece of wheat coming out of the corner of his mouth, yee-haw! | ||
| Nazi tattoo on the back of his neck. | ||
| Just laying. | ||
| Dick. | ||
| God bless her. | ||
| Fat dick, too. | ||
| God bless her. | ||
| Whatever she's into. | ||
| Like a sailor's forearm. | ||
| I am not asking. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, don't you have moments, like, in your relationship where, you know, you're with each other for your life. | ||
| This is a long-time thing. | ||
| I feel like we should be playing piano music right now. | ||
| There's times when you're all of a sudden... | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| There's times to do it. | ||
| Jamie went to get some Incredible Hulk walkaway music. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Give me... | |
| And there's times when you're into her, and there's times when all of a sudden you come back. | ||
| Are you about to say there's times when she's not into you? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Unacceptable. | ||
| Walk. | ||
| Be a man. | ||
| Suck it up. | ||
| Cowboy boots. | ||
| Naked. | ||
| She's not that psyched with me right now. | ||
| Suitcase in each hand with a boner. | ||
| You chew two Viagra, you get your dick hard as a rock. | ||
| Look, I'm not saying you don't do those things. | ||
| What I'm saying is you don't ask her why. | ||
| You don't ask what. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| You don't want to know these things. | ||
| I don't want to know why she's unhappy. | ||
| I want to know. | ||
| I just want her to keep her thoughts to herself. | ||
| If she's banging some big redneck in a truck stop, I don't want to know. | ||
| You don't want to know if she's actually banging or thinking about banging? | ||
| I don't want to know anything. | ||
| You don't want anything? | ||
| No. | ||
| What a good husband you are. | ||
| I want her to just be a good mom, a good wife. | ||
| And eat my bread. | ||
| And how about she cook something once in a while? | ||
| Why am I baking bread like I'm an old lady? | ||
| Why am I running around with flour on my shirt? | ||
| And she's sitting on the couch. | ||
| Do you wear an apron? | ||
| No. | ||
| I have thought about it, but I feel like it's going over the... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What would you keep in the pocket? | ||
| I always wonder. | ||
|
unidentified
|
One hit. | |
| Like that front pocket? | ||
| Why does that even come up? | ||
| Who throws shit in that front pocket? | ||
| I think it's useless. | ||
| A one hit and a razor blade. | ||
| A one hitter and a razor blade. | ||
| I never see anybody using that front pocket on the apron. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Never comes up. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, what's in there? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| You're lighter. | ||
| Because cooks always go out and smoke a little. | ||
| Yeah, they do smoke. | ||
| Which is interesting because cigarettes dull your taste buds. | ||
| They don't care. | ||
| Food. | ||
| This is food. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Ugh, God. | ||
| I'm not eating this shit. | ||
| But I always thought that was weird about chefs because the whole idea about preparing food is making something that's delicious. | ||
| It's an art form, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you're dulling. | ||
| It's like fucking with a condom. | ||
| It's like, I'm really into sex, but I love condoms. | ||
| I don't know what to do. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I never smoked. | ||
| How much does it deaden your... | ||
| Does it really deaden it? | ||
| I never smoked either, but allegedly it does. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The people that I've talked to that quit smoking say that was one of the most remarkable things about it. | ||
| Is that right after you quit smoking, you get your taste buds back. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Mmm. | ||
| But you don't look as cool. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| What is that about? | ||
| What's about something so stupid where you're sucking on some burning leaves? | ||
| It's a prop. | ||
| A good prop, though. | ||
| Like, people that vape do not look cool. | ||
| They look like they've got a pacifier. | ||
| They look like they're sucking on a robot's dick. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Well, they have that box. | ||
| Those box ones. | ||
| Like, how much batteries do you need? | ||
| How much are you vaping? | ||
| You have a fucking battery that could charge a car. | ||
| And it glows like Rudolph. | ||
| And then they blow these smoke clouds out. | ||
| Like, fucking Christ, what is this? | ||
| There's so much that comes out. | ||
| And they get into it. | ||
| They get into the big, giant clouds. | ||
| Yeah, they do. | ||
| Some guy sent me one. | ||
| And he sent me one that I could literally kill someone with. | ||
| I could beat someone to death with it. | ||
| It's a big, thick, heavy copper one. | ||
| Do we still have that stupid thing laying around, Jamie? | ||
| For tobacco or for weed? | ||
| It's for tobacco. | ||
| But you could use it for weed. | ||
| You could definitely use weed if you had weed oil. | ||
| But it was a weird thing where you had to drip the oil into this thing. | ||
| We don't need to see it, Jamie. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| Thank you, though. | ||
| But it was fucking heavy. | ||
| It probably weighed a pound, right? | ||
| At least a pound. | ||
| For home use, or you're not taking that to the bar? | ||
| I think you're supposed to just fucking carry it around in a sling. | ||
| It looked like brass knuckles. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| It was huge. | ||
| Did it have a case? | ||
| It was fucking huge. | ||
| No, it didn't have a case. | ||
| It should have a Wheeler case so you could take it through the airport. | ||
| That's not cool. | ||
| But a cigarette? | ||
| To sit there with just a cigarette in your hand? | ||
| It's the coolest. | ||
| Like Sonatra, baby. | ||
| Yeah, that's right, baby. | ||
| Send in Mia. | ||
| You tell Mia. | ||
| I don't want to talk into that Jew. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The chairman of the board has spoken. | |
| It's the coolest. | ||
| It's a cool prop. | ||
| You can do stuff with it. | ||
| You can make a point. | ||
| Yeah, apparently it's a really good cognitive enhancer, too. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Yeah, nicotine is apparently as effective as a nootropic, as a cognitive enhancer. | ||
| Like vitamins, like paracetam and all these different vitamins, choline, that have been shown to have effects on memory and cognitive function. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Nicotine apparently has a positive effect on cognitive function. | ||
| I know a lot of guys who smoke e-cigarettes before they go on stage. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Just to get a little buzz, a little go. | ||
| Coffee do the same thing? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't think coffee actually has cognitive enhancing performance benefits that have been proven. | ||
| It just makes you busy. | ||
| It makes you happier. | ||
| I know it increases euphoria, and I think it lights you up. | ||
| It stimulates you. | ||
| So there's probably some benefit in that, just being more awake. | ||
| But I think if you are awake, though, I don't know if it really benefits you. | ||
| There's times when I'm writing, and if I'm writing in the afternoon, and I'll have an espresso, and I come back, and all of a sudden I'll catch myself 15 minutes later just humming along and doing stuff. | ||
| You just get busy. | ||
| You just get like, all right, we're going. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Without being aware that it was really the caffeine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you take the, what is it, neurotropic? | ||
| Nootropics. | ||
| Nootropics. | ||
| Yeah, I take them. | ||
| You do? | ||
| Yeah, I'm a big fan. | ||
| I want to take more stuff. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I'm so into, like, I kept for a long time, I was like, I'm not taking anything. | ||
| And now I'm at a point where it's like, we live in the 21st century, it's time to start taking some stuff. | ||
| Like what kind of stuff? | ||
| I take vitamin D now. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| D3? D3. Yeah, very good. | ||
| Very important. | ||
| That's good, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, the only way you get it is through the sun or through certain foods. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| It's particularly important for vegans. | ||
| Right. | ||
| B12 and D3 are two of the most common things. | ||
| B12, too? | ||
| Yeah, because it comes from animals. | ||
| We get it primarily, B12 especially, we get it primarily from animal protein, and they apparently get it from bacteria. | ||
| And the only way vegans can get it... | ||
| It's in certain forms of bacteria, microorganisms. | ||
| You have to eat living things to get it. | ||
| Alright, so B12 I should add also? | ||
| B12 is huge. | ||
| B12 is big. | ||
| D3 is big. | ||
| I take D3. DHEA, or not DHEA, DHA, fish oil. | ||
| Oh really? | ||
| Fish oil? | ||
| Yeah, omega-3s and 6s. | ||
| Super, super important for brain function. | ||
| Omega what? | ||
| Omega-3s and 6s. | ||
| Do you take that as a supplement though? | ||
| Yes, I do. | ||
| You can get some of it from flax oil and from hemp oil, but it's not as effective as fish oil. | ||
| I mean, this is taking out ideology and, you know, eating plants versus eating animals. | ||
| Scientists uniformly believe that fish oil is the better method for absorbing those things. | ||
| But then you go online and you look up fish oil and there's just as much, as many articles that fish oil does nothing. | ||
| Well, omega-3s and 6s are critical. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's what fish oil is. | ||
| Oh, so you get that from the fish oil. | ||
| Yeah, there's no doubt about that. | ||
| So someone's saying that fish oil does nothing. | ||
| That's nonsense. | ||
| It's nonsense. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, what does it do? | ||
| I mean, here's the number one big deal. | ||
| People think that they like to take things and then feel an immediate result. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And what you're doing when you're taking vitamins and supplements and eating healthy food is you're building your body with these materials. | ||
| Like, if you eat cake and ho-hos, and that's all you eat, that's what your body uses to regenerate cells, that's what your body uses to grow. | ||
| I mean, all your tissue is eventually going to be made out of everything you eat. | ||
| Of birthday cake. | ||
| Yeah, birthday cake. | ||
| And sourdough bread. | ||
| So what we are today is your body's consumption of all the different foods and nutrients that you've taken in, and this is what it's built with it. | ||
| And it can only make a good body off of good ingredients. | ||
| It's really that simple. | ||
| If you're not getting any vitamins, your body starts pulling them out of your bones and you're, I mean, pulling calcium out of your bones. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But your body freaks the fuck out when you don't have enough stuff. | ||
| And that's where a lot of diseases, inflammation, a lot of problems come from just not having the proper building blocks. | ||
| Right. | ||
| When you eat healthy, you give your body what it needs to rebuild and build. | ||
| So your growth from there on represents your diet. | ||
| Whatever you're putting in, the healthier the stuff is, the healthier your body is. | ||
| It's really simple. | ||
| But it's not going to be an immediate effect. | ||
| I bet it'll be pretty quick though. | ||
| Fairly quick, you'll feel better. | ||
| And over time, like weeks or months, like this wacky diet that I'm on, initially it It didn't? | ||
| No. | ||
| The lack of sugar did not feel good. | ||
| There was like headaches the first few days. | ||
| I'm addicted to sugar. | ||
| I didn't even know. | ||
| All forms of sugar? | ||
| Like even just bread? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Bread, even alcohol, fruits. | ||
| You have to be careful even how much fruit you eat. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Someone had a glass of orange juice. | ||
| And they were talking about it. | ||
| They were like, think about how many fucking oranges go into the glass of orange juice. | ||
| It's probably like seven oranges. | ||
| Who the fuck sits down and eats seven oranges? | ||
| And we were laughing, and I was like, yeah, but not even with fiber. | ||
| You take the fiber out, so your body's like, what is all this goddamn sugar? | ||
| But we have it in our head that sugar from fruit juice is healthy, but sugar from Coca-Cola is not. | ||
| But apparently your body doesn't know the difference. | ||
| But if you eat an apple, does the fiber offset how much sugar? | ||
| It does have an impact. | ||
| It does. | ||
| In a positive way. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| That's how your body's supposed to get sugar. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's supposed to be attached almost like as an incentive to eat things that are healthy for you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So the vitamins and the fiber are all intertwined with this delicious flavor that makes you attracted to it. | ||
| And therefore, like you eat an orange, it is in fact good for you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So it's healthy. | ||
| But you shouldn't eat... | ||
| Go crazy with it. | ||
| Yeah, you just shouldn't have 20 ounces of orange juice just squeezed out. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And especially when we have that concentrate stuff, where it's not even really orange juice anymore. | ||
| It's like this weird frozen thing. | ||
| Yeah, but with your kids in the morning, do you feel like you should give them some orange juice if they're feeling kind of... | ||
| Oh, like vitamin C-wise? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Well, vitamin C is definitely good for your body. | ||
| It's a good antioxidant. | ||
| When you see them run down and you just like... | ||
| Look, it's not the worst thing in the world to have a little orange juice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| What I'm saying is, like, a big-ass glass of orange juice is a jolt of sugar to your sister. | ||
| At four in the afternoon. | ||
| Yeah, I prefer... | ||
| I don't drink fruit juices anymore. | ||
| Yeah, I don't either. | ||
| But I still eat fruit. | ||
| I do, too. | ||
| But I just think that juicing is very problematic in that way, that you could just figure out a way to condense... | ||
| All the sugar from all these different fruits into one thing that you jolt into your body in just a few seconds. | ||
| You chug a glass of orange juice. | ||
| I mean, that's an instant tidal wave of sugar. | ||
| I take glucosamine. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| And chondroitin? | ||
| Do you take those two together? | ||
| No, just glucosamine. | ||
| Those are both really good. | ||
| Glucosamine's good. | ||
| Glucosamine was actually, I think, I might be wrong about this. | ||
| This came from this book by this guy, Dr. Joel Wallach, who wrote this book called Dead Doctors Don't Lie. | ||
| And he was talking about mineral deficiencies and how few doctors really do understand nutrition. | ||
| and how they give you really shitty advice, but really they're completely uneducated. | ||
| They might be a good podiatrist or a good orthopedic surgeon or what have you. | ||
| But how many of them actually understand the mechanisms of nutrition? | ||
| That's where Dr. Rhonda Patrick comes in. | ||
| She's a fucking genius when it comes to that. | ||
| We never have any questions about different nutrients or vitamins, and she will just go over the tests. | ||
| And she's super analytical and objective about it, too. | ||
| She'll tell you the pros and cons and goods and bads and what could happen, what could be going on, and what is definitely going on. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So there's a lot going on when you're eating food. | ||
| There's a lot going on when you're taking in nutrients. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And a multivitamin? | ||
| I take a multi. | ||
| One? | ||
| But there's so many. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| One multivitamin is problematic, too, because you're taking something that's condensed down to one hard little cube. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And you're dropping that, and you're hoping your body digests it in time and absorbs it. | ||
| I find that powdered ones in capsule form, at least I think, absorb better in the body. | ||
| And I take a pack. | ||
| I take what's called a pure, athlete's pure pack. | ||
| I'm writing it down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pack. | |
| Yeah, it's Pure Encapsulations is the brand that I use. | ||
| And they have these Athletes Pure Packs. | ||
| And they're great because they're like a meal's worth. | ||
| I take them with me. | ||
| I can have like two or three in my backpack. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Actually, I do. | ||
| And just pound it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you take this stuff too, or is it rubbed off on you? | ||
| Yeah, the amount of time I've been hanging out with them is starting too, and I need to take advantage of it. | ||
| But yeah, I just started taking some stuff. | ||
| Yeah, you look good. | ||
| What's that sound? | ||
| That microphone makes that sound? | ||
| What's going on with it? | ||
| There's too much electricity over here. | ||
| You're a fucking electric man. | ||
| You're alive. | ||
| There's a lot of electricity going on here. | ||
| There is, right? | ||
| Stop and think about it. | ||
| When I think for my podcast, when I use this little recorder, there's a reason it sounds so shitty. | ||
| Just all the vape pens we have in this room alone. | ||
| I know I have one of those. | ||
| So how many things do you take in the morning? | ||
| Like 12? | ||
| No. | ||
| In the morning, especially lately... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The morning I've relaxed a lot of what I do as far as like my diet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because in the morning, a lot of times I'm not hungry. | ||
| I know. | ||
| And I used to eat because I felt like I had to eat. | ||
| But then I read this thing recently, you know, they say that breakfast is your most important meal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bullshit. | ||
| That's what I've heard. | ||
| It's bullshit. | ||
| What's important is meals. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They say that breakfast is not your most important meal, that it's just a meal. | ||
| The idea of loading up so you can go on about your day, sometimes it slows you down. | ||
| Yes, and then the carb loading is what a lot of people do. | ||
| They're eating cereal, and that's just going to cause a crash. | ||
| You ramp it up with the carb loading, your body has to process all that shit, and it's like... | ||
| Put a nice cup of coffee and some sourdough toast. | ||
| That's what you do? | ||
| That's your move? | ||
| Once in a while. | ||
| And you get to know, I made this fucking toast. | ||
| This isn't mine. | ||
| This is my goddamn toast. | ||
| I made this for my family. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's funny, when I go on the road now, that's the thing that they miss. | ||
| The toast? | ||
| The bread. | ||
| Really? | ||
| They're like, you gotta come back. | ||
| You've been gone a week. | ||
| We were out of bread. | ||
| Oh, they get upset that daddy's not in the little bread factory. | ||
| It's cool, because they used to miss me for being a person, and then that passed, and now they want me for my bread. | ||
| When you go on the road, do you do just weekends or do you ever do a tour? | ||
| I do weekends. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| Sometimes it'll be, I'll tag it with, like if I go back east, I'll tag something in New York like TV or radio and then, so I'll be gone for a week. | ||
| But I never go like city to city. | ||
| Yeah, I don't either. | ||
| I come home. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't. | ||
| Like, my friend, you know Duncan, Duncan Trussell? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Duncan's on a 30-day tour now. | ||
| Really? | ||
| He's got a bus and everything. | ||
| He's a maniac. | ||
| He's traveling around the country. | ||
| Do you have a family? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's got a dog. | ||
| It's a different thing. | ||
| I think he brings it. | ||
| That's a different thing. | ||
| It says his dog helps him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's got one of those emotional dog licenses. | |
| I call those the fake service dogs. | ||
| Yeah, you know those things? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What is it called? | ||
| An emotional needs dog? | ||
| Yeah, you can have an emotional needs dog. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They bring them in restaurants. | ||
| It's so fucked up. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's so fucked up. | ||
| Because they violate health codes just by saying, I need my dog with me. | ||
| I know! | ||
| I was in New York, the woman was feeding a dog a spoon at the table, like sneaking him food. | ||
| How's this okay? | ||
| It's not okay. | ||
| I was just in a hotel in San Francisco. | ||
| People had... | ||
| They were giving dog biscuits in the lobby. | ||
| And people... | ||
| You walk through the hall, there's dogs just barking their heads off. | ||
| Because dogs are allowed in hotels. | ||
| Well, I love dogs. | ||
| I do too, but you don't have to have a... | ||
| I don't even mind dogs in hotels. | ||
| But dogs in restaurants, like, come on. | ||
| You ever been next to a dog that's barking all night? | ||
| No. | ||
| Because the owners are out partying or doing whatever they're doing? | ||
| And leave the dog? | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| No. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And you're the... | ||
| They should have someone come in and euthanize it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I don't mean that. | ||
| You shouldn't have even said that! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're right. | |
| You're right. | ||
| Look, sometimes things come out and you don't mean them to. | ||
| Sometimes you mean them and you just pretend that you don't. | ||
| Well, I would like a... | ||
| If some dog next door is barking, I would like the key to the room so I could open it up and go, Dude, it's gonna be alright. | ||
| Relax. | ||
| There's a biscuit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Here, dude. | ||
| You relax. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha, ha, ha. | |
| No, I can't... | ||
| But this is why I'm embracing the 21st century. | ||
| Because I am on the road. | ||
| I'm in all these weird places. | ||
| And it started to feel like run down and stuff. | ||
| And I wasn't... | ||
| Here's another thing. | ||
| I wasn't eating meat for a long time. | ||
| And I started eating meat again. | ||
| And I feel so much stronger. | ||
| I literally would be in the green room like... | ||
| Tired. | ||
| I'm not old. | ||
| Why am I tired? | ||
| Before a show at 10 o'clock. | ||
| And I really think I just wasn't getting enough protein. | ||
| I really was just like eating salads in between. | ||
| Once I started kind of drifting back... | ||
| Drifting back. | ||
| Were you vegetarian or vegan? | ||
| Vegetarian. | ||
| Well, I would go back and forth, but mostly vegetarian. | ||
| So sometimes you were vegan. | ||
| Vegan for like a year. | ||
| For a whole year? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How'd that go? | ||
| Um, it's hard. | ||
| Did you start criticizing people? | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| I got very snotty. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| I felt better than everyone. | ||
| Like, I thought I was better than everybody else. | ||
| I, uh... | ||
| No, it's a very difficult thing to do. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta really make sure that you monitor your protein correctly. | ||
| Like, people say, where do you get your protein from? | ||
| And they're like, what about this gorilla? | ||
| Listen, bitch, you're not a gorilla. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| You're not a fucking horse either. | ||
| Horses eat hay all day and they're fine. | ||
| They have giant muscles. | ||
| Your body's different, dummy. | ||
| People need certain amounts of protein and you certainly need a complex amino acid profile. | ||
| And some proteins that you're getting from plants, they don't have a full amino acid profile. | ||
| So if you're going to go vegan and you want to really make sure that your diet is balanced, you've got to really do some reading. | ||
| Really pay attention to it. | ||
| Quinoa's good. | ||
| Quinoa's really good. | ||
| Hemp is one of the best. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, hemp protein. | ||
| There's some stuff that we sell at Onnit called Hemp Force Protein Powder, and it's one of the best ones because it's super easy to digest, a very fine protein. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's really expensive because we have to get it from fucking Canada. | ||
| It's one of the goofiest laws that we have going today in this country that you can't grow hemp. | ||
| Still. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, some states are allowing it now, and it's eventually going to roll out, and it's going to be nationwide, but it's one of the easiest things to grow. | ||
| Yeah, it grows like bamboo. | ||
| Grows crazy. | ||
| It doesn't require nearly the amount of service that other plants do. | ||
| Essentially, it's a weed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But anyway, the point is, it's a full amino acid profile. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And there's only a few plants that are like that. | ||
| I don't know what other ones. | ||
| There's a couple. | ||
| In all honesty, I was doing it for health. | ||
| I was doing it because I have a lot of high cholesterol and heart stuff in my family, and I didn't want to go on any drugs, and I was like, I'm just going to keep it at bay, and I'm going to eat clean, and I ate that way for a long time, and eventually, just this last year... | ||
| My genetics kind of caught up to me and it was like I'm eating this way and still my cholesterol was high. | ||
| So I was like, you know what? | ||
| I'm gonna go on a statin and lower it. | ||
| You are? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What about exercise? | ||
| I exercise. | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| I run and weights. | ||
| The reason why I ask this is Anthony Bourdain was on statins and he got on statins just because his body was... | ||
| He was, you know, constantly going on the road and traveling and drinking and eating food and his body wasn't responding well to that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He had real problems with blood pressure and just decided, well, I could either restrict my diet, which to him is offensive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, because he's a chef and it's a big part of his thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And especially with his job. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Eating stuff all around the world. | ||
| Or get on these statins. | ||
| So he got on the statins. | ||
| But then he got into jujitsu. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Got obsessed with jujitsu. | ||
| Lost 30 pounds. | ||
| Got off the statins. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Now he's super healthy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, that's the thing. | ||
| I had high cholesterol, and I said, I'm not going to go on the statins. | ||
| So I increased how I was working out. | ||
| I went vegan for a long time and lowered it. | ||
| I was able to lower it and keep it at bay, doing that for a while. | ||
| And it just started inching up, started kind of coming back. | ||
| And I don't know. | ||
| So I just figured it's the 21st century. | ||
| Let me embrace the technology. | ||
| But there is negative consequences with your liver. | ||
| Isn't that correct? | ||
| Well, you have to be tested. | ||
| You have to stay on top of it. | ||
| You've got to do your blood work. | ||
| Is that an issue? | ||
| I've only been on it for a couple months. | ||
| Oh, so you just recently got on it. | ||
| Brand new. | ||
| Now, have you ever thought about cutting bread out and pasta and sugar? | ||
| Yes, I've thought about it. | ||
| And I didn't like what I was thinking. | ||
| While you're eating a sandwich? | ||
| Imagine if I couldn't have this. | ||
| No, the bread thing is really new. | ||
| Like, I wasn't eating a lot of bread. | ||
| This is pretty new, and I do love it. | ||
| The problem, honestly, is I grew up... | ||
| Food is a celebration. | ||
| Food is a way to unite people. | ||
| Food, it was a big Italian family. | ||
| Pasta was a part of it. | ||
| And I was like... | ||
| Eating as a vegan, I walked into an Italian grocer in Burbank, and the... | ||
| Salamis and the prosciutto are hanging from the ceiling next to the provolone and there's pastas and there's breads and there's gelato. | ||
| And I'm like, my ancestors would just pummel me in the alley if I was like, I'm not eating this because I'm a vegan. | ||
| And I'm like, it's too much fun. | ||
| It's too much fun to celebrate and live life. | ||
| So if I could just do that once in a while, I can't say I'm going to be a vegan and not eat that stuff for the rest of my life. | ||
| I'm not going to do it. | ||
| Of all the people that have ever suggested healthy diets to, no one looked at me more disgusted than Artie Lang. | ||
| When Artie was in here, and he was talking to me about it, he said, I gotta lose weight, and he was talking about this, and I was talking to him about cutting off pastas and breads and all this, and he looked at me like, what the fuck are you saying? | ||
| He was, like, offended. | ||
| Like, in his eyes, somehow or another, he is going to eventually figure out how to lose all this weight without changing a goddamn thing about his lifestyle or his diet. | ||
| But that kind of thinking is also why he's so hilarious. | ||
| So funny. | ||
| Because he's just a wild motherfucker. | ||
| A wild motherfucker that devours everything around him. | ||
| Including gambling. | ||
| You ever talk to him about gambling? | ||
| Yes, he's a cyclone. | ||
| I put 500 grand on this to win. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| You put what? | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| How long does it take you to make that? | ||
| 500,000! | ||
| You had a $500,000 bet! | ||
| Right. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| Like, I hear shit like that. | ||
| My palms start sweating. | ||
| I am terrified of gambling because I know way too many people that do it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And rich people. | ||
| Oh yeah, I know. | ||
| Like my friend Dana White, who's the president of the UFC. He's rich. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And he will gamble. | ||
| He's lost as much as a million dollars in a night. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Fuck that. | ||
| A million dollars. | ||
| Dude, I wouldn't be able to sleep for a month. | ||
| No way! | ||
| I'd be freaking the fuck out. | ||
| I'd be freaking the fuck out. | ||
| I'd be like, what am I doing? | ||
| What's wrong with me? | ||
| Yeah, why is that worth it? | ||
| We won seven million one night. | ||
| What? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Seven million? | ||
| Seven million. | ||
| Won it in one night. | ||
| I wonder how different the rush is winning $500 to $7 million. | ||
| Oh, it's way different, Tom Papa! | ||
| It's 6,995,000... | ||
| Can you go up to the guy like, I want it now? | ||
| I'd like to take this with me now? | ||
| Well, they don't like to pay you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because they like to keep it in the casino. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Seven million! | ||
| And so they paid him in garbage bags. | ||
| They wanted to give him cash. | ||
| They didn't even give him a bag. | ||
| He had to go and get garbage bags. | ||
| So they came back with those fucking black hefty bags and they stuffed seven million dollars in hefty bags and then left the casino. | ||
| And said, take it if you want it? | ||
| When you have $7 million in garbage bags and you're leaving, you're like a small child with a sandwich walking through a room full of wolves. | ||
| It's like, maybe you'll make it to the door. | ||
| Maybe one of these wolves is just not going to listen. | ||
| Gee, how many bags would that be? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's $100 bills, which I assume it is, right? | ||
| I know there are $1,000 bills, correct? | ||
| There are. | ||
| Have you ever seen one? | ||
| No, I wonder who's on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Your mother. | |
| Who's even on it? | ||
| Oh, hey, mama! | ||
| There's a $5,000? | ||
| There's a $500 bill. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yes, I recently saw someone hand it to Trump when he signed it or some shit like that. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Huh. | ||
| Do you feel like you're deprived when you eat this way? | ||
| No. | ||
| You don't feel deprived of anything? | ||
| No. | ||
| Because it doesn't seem... | ||
| The benefits are extreme. | ||
| Like physically, I feel great. | ||
| And this is like the stuff that I just drank, the stuff in front of you. | ||
| This is exogenous ketones. | ||
| Because my body's essentially in a ketogenic state. | ||
| So I take this mineral and amino acid supplement. | ||
| It's called Kegenix. | ||
| What's a ketogenic state? | ||
| A ketogenic state means your body's burning fat as opposed to burning carbohydrates. | ||
| And one way to manipulate that state and to make sure that your body stays ketogenic is you take exogenous ketones. | ||
| And this stuff allows your body to go back into a state of ketosis, which means it's primarily using fat as fuel. | ||
| Meanwhile, people right now are going, will you stop? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fucking talking about your diet, Rogan! | |
| Jesus Christ! | ||
| I'm interested. | ||
| Screw them. | ||
| Tom Papa brought it up, folks. | ||
| I wouldn't have said it. | ||
| You're alright. | ||
| Nothing happened. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're good. | |
| No. | ||
| I'd like to eat lean. | ||
| I'd like to cut some of that stuff out. | ||
| I don't eat that much bread and pasta. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You ain't cutting out shit, buddy. | |
| I would! | ||
| I'll do it. | ||
| You and Artie Land get together and come up with a diet plan. | ||
| I'll do it. | ||
| It's called the make-believe diet plan. | ||
| Let's make believe one day we're gonna do something different. | ||
| I don't feel different because I still eat like really healthy and really delicious foods. | ||
| How's this different from Atkins? | ||
| Atkins is mostly protein, and the problem with that is, and it does kind of put you in a state of ketosis, but that's not really what your body wants. | ||
| Apparently your body wants more fats than it does protein. | ||
| Oh, so you're eating fattier? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But what I'm eating is a lot of avocados, a lot of coconut oil, a lot of things along those lines, almond butter. | ||
| And when you eat a lot of nuts, you're getting fats that are healthy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Oils and fats that your body processes really well. | ||
| The biggest benefit, and this is something that my friend Denny had said to me, and this is a thing I recognize too, is cognitive. | ||
| Like, I'm more awake during the day. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, and I'm even. | ||
| That's huge. | ||
| Like, the way I am right now, here at 1220, I'll be like this at 7 o'clock at night. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I'm even through the day. | ||
| I was never even before, man. | ||
| No, you crash in the afternoon. | ||
| I'd have these fucking meals, and then I'd want to take a nap. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's not there anymore. | ||
| So after I eat, what I normally eat is salads with avocado and some sort of piece of protein, whether a piece of fish or chicken or something like that, or meat. | ||
| When I eat like that, I don't get tired. | ||
| My body's telling me, look, this is way more efficient, it's way better for us, and it's not like I'm eating fucking cardboard and tofu. | ||
| It's delicious food. | ||
| It's just no bread, no pasta. | ||
| And what about your family? | ||
| They eat whatever the fuck they want. | ||
| Do you sit down and eat dinner with them? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you have a different meal than they do? | ||
| Well, I just eat different stuff. | ||
| Like, one of the things I eat, if we have pasta, I eat squash. | ||
| I take squash, like zucchini squash. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I run it through this machine. | ||
| It's like this thing that spins. | ||
| You crank this handle, and it twirls this zucchini through this cutter that makes these little swirly pasta-like noodle things. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then I put spaghetti sauce on that. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And your kid's like, Dad, what are you doing? | ||
| They don't mind. | ||
| They even eat some of it. | ||
| They're used to it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| My kids have eaten everything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| That's exactly what it is. | ||
| Oh, that's right from my page. | ||
| See, it twirls it into those noodles, and then that's ground venison. | ||
| So Joe, if you eat like this, and then that one meal you had pasta, does that blow the whole thing? | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| But it knocks you out of ketosis. | ||
| But this stuff right here knocks you right back in. | ||
| You can have a syrupy glass of soda, and then have this stuff, and it'll put you right back into ketosis. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's just manipulating the way your body processes fuel. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I just find, just for me, that when my body, and not just me, like Shaw, Brendan Chubb, my buddy who got on it a few months ago, like two months ago or something like that, he's lost a shitload of weight. | ||
| He looks great. | ||
| Everybody I know that's done it loves it. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just don't think that your body's meant to eat that much sugar and that many processed carbohydrates. | ||
| I just don't think it is. | ||
| No, they're not. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can do it. | |
| You can do it. | ||
| That's even like with this bread. | ||
| It's like, you know, that was the only thing that you would, that would be the carb that you would eat. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You would have a little, the percentage in your diet was so small. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know, then you're eating vegetables and you're eating meats and fish and nuts and... | ||
| Salads, folks. | ||
| Eat some fucking salad. | ||
| It's so important. | ||
| That's one of the things that drives me the most crazy about vegans. | ||
| One of the things is they'll assume that you don't eat what they eat. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, you know, like vegans... | ||
| Correct. | ||
| This guy was telling me, like, I'm eating all these vegetables and I'm getting all these nutrients and you're not. | ||
| I go, well, actually I am. | ||
| Because I'm eating all those vegetables too. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But I also have steak. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like, what the fuck? | ||
| This idea that they're mutually exclusive is so stupid. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Like, yeah, you definitely should have vegetables. | ||
| Everyone should eat vegetables. | ||
| But the idea that you shouldn't eat meat because we're not designed for meat, that becomes like an ideological argument. | ||
| Then they start saying things like, you know, like the body was not designed for that. | ||
| Human beings are herbivores. | ||
| No, actually we're not. | ||
| It's not only that. | ||
| It's proof positive. | ||
| It's been proven that one of the main reasons why the human brain got large is because of meat consumption. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The monkeys figured out, look, there's better protein out there. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We're going to start eating some whatever the fuck they ate. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What did they eat? | |
| You see, they just found this Walt Whitman guide. | ||
| Someone found it in a library. | ||
| It was like this finding of Walt Whitman stuff that he wrote that people hadn't seen before, so they got excited. | ||
| It was about health. | ||
| It was about a guide to being a healthy man or something. | ||
| And the first thing was, eat meat! | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| That was his first thing. | ||
| Well, that's what people thought back then. | ||
| It was super important. | ||
| Did you see that thing recently? | ||
| They discovered the remains of a mastodon that had been slaughtered by people in... | ||
| I think they found it in Florida in a bog or something like that or sinkhole and it was 14,000 years old. | ||
| So it threw a monkey wrench into the timeline of people being in North America because it pushed it back by 1500 years. | ||
| So, it's like a new mystery. | ||
| There's a lot of just rampant speculation. | ||
| Once you get past a couple thousand years ago, they're like, who the fuck knows? | ||
| What we were doing. | ||
| Yeah, there's current theories, and they try to work on them, and they try to... | ||
| You know, they're trying to decipher the past based on these little small clues that they dig up here and there. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And occasionally they dig up a new clue and they just go, whoa. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| All right. | ||
| Everybody, let's get together. | ||
| Let's get together because we just fucked our timeline. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We got to go back and rewrite the whole timeline. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's pretty cool looking though. | ||
|
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|
Is it? | |
| There it is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They pulled it out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A stone knife masked on bones and a fossilized dung found in an underwater sinkhole shows that humans lived in North Florida about 14,500 years ago. | ||
| According to new research suggests the colonization of the Americas was far more complex than originally believed. | ||
| I love stuff like this. | ||
| It's so cool. | ||
| It's like learning about a mystery culture. | ||
| I'm just unbelievably fascinated by the idea that people lived like us. | ||
| They were like us. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 14,000 years ago. | ||
| And they lived these crazy existences where they were just hanging together in these little tribes and they relied on each other deeply. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that was the only way you could survive. | ||
| You had to get in these small groups of like 50 people and everybody stuck together. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Had to gather food and everybody had a responsibility. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a direct connection between social behaviors today and the hunter-gatherer needs thousands and thousands of years ago. | ||
| The reason why women are so talkative and social and men prefer people being more stoic and men don't like when men talk too much is because those men would fuck up hunting trips. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, if you were out there hunting, and the women would get together, and when women were gatherers, women's jobs were equally as hard as men, if not harder, because they were in charge of farming. | ||
| Like, the men were gathering, at least, vegetables and foods that you could find, and the men would go out and hunt. | ||
| So the hunters learned how to prize being stealthy and quiet and keeping your shit together under pressure. | ||
| Called cool. | ||
| Yeah, keeping your cool together when you're sneaking up on an animal and all your nerves are firing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You have to execute a shot or throw a spear and you have to get the job done. | ||
| Whereas women, they get together and they start talking about this one and that one and she says this and I'm not fucking bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Picking vegetables. | |
| Yeah, and they're sitting there by the river avoiding crocodiles, washing underwear, going, this fucking bitch thinks she's going to take my man off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| Does your husband come back from a hunt and not talk? | ||
| I mean, how can you be out for a hole hunt and have nothing to say when you come home? | ||
| Oh my God, I come home and I'm just yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap. | ||
| I think I heard a stick snap. | ||
| A stick snap. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's a lion in the bushes. | |
| Honey, I just got home. | ||
| I've been out hunting all day. | ||
| Just give me a minute before we start talking. | ||
| I was watching this thing the other night about the Maasai, the Maasai warriors, and they're mostly herders. | ||
| They have all these cattle, and it was really crazy because they had 10-year-old kids helping out. | ||
| These 10-year-old kids are herding cattle, and they're just doing jobs. | ||
| Get to work. | ||
| Yeah, get to work at 10. Yeah. | ||
| And one of the things, they had this village that is in the middle of this incredibly wild area. | ||
| I mean, they're surrounded by buffaloes and lions. | ||
| And all around their village, this very small little village, which is really an extended family. | ||
| It's like the mothers and the fathers and their families and brothers and sisters and their families. | ||
| And everyone lives together in this one little extended village with all their livestock. | ||
| But all around their tiny village, they had thorn bushes placed. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| To keep lions out. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| That's their fence. | ||
| Their fence is just making it uncomfortable for lions to move in and kill them. | ||
| Oh, jeez. | ||
| So fucked, man. | ||
| I was watching it. | ||
| And apparently that's not their biggest danger. | ||
| Their biggest danger is buffalo. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Those fucking cape buffalo, I guess it is. | ||
| I don't know which buffalo. | ||
| That's what they look like. | ||
| That's a buffalo? | ||
| No, that's a baby. | ||
| That's a little tiny person. | ||
| A little tiny Maasai person. | ||
| Their buffalo are so weird. | ||
| They look like people! | ||
| They wear clothes! | ||
| Why does he have a robe? | ||
| Walking around naked. | ||
| It's cute. | ||
| And they still survive today? | ||
| They're still in the sign? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So see those bushes that they have set up like that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's how they keep the lines out. | ||
| They just make it uncomfortable for them. | ||
| They set up these parameters around their house. | ||
| But the buffalo, I guess it's Cape Buffalo or Water Buffalo or... | ||
| One of the buffaloes. | ||
| Tanzania. | ||
| Look up dangerous buffaloes. | ||
| That's where I'm going. | ||
| I'm going to Tanzania. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When? | |
| In August. | ||
| Dude, I'm thinking about going in August. | ||
| Are you really? | ||
| I'm thinking about going on a safari with the family. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| August 5th through the 16th. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| I know a guy that runs these resorts there. | ||
| And you're going to go... | ||
| We're going to go safari. | ||
| The family? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Tom Papa? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Look at you. | ||
| Maybe we'll be there at the same time. | ||
| We'll ignore each other, though. | ||
| We could meet and pretend we're hunting for like a minute. | ||
| I gotta go back to my woman. | ||
| Stuff for bread. | ||
| Yeah, what if they don't have bread? | ||
| They do, right? | ||
| Yeah, you gotta tell me where you're going. | ||
| Yeah, we haven't decided yet. | ||
| We're deciding on a family trip this summer, and it'd either be Europe or Africa. | ||
| Those are the two potential destinations now, and I haven't really, I don't know. | ||
| Wouldn't it be cool, this is what I'm thinking, I never really had a real draw to Africa, but the idea that I could get my children to Africa, it feels like a good thing. | ||
| I think those are wildebeest, Jamie. | ||
| Son of a bitch. | ||
| Tanzania. | ||
| Those right down there. | ||
| That one right there. | ||
| See that one right down there that that guy is right in front of? | ||
| I guess that's a dead one, huh? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| That's some sort of a buffalo, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a giant-ass buffalo. | ||
| Yeah, that's enormous. | ||
| Well, those things, apparently, those buffaloes that they have in... | ||
| Just find out what kind of buffalo, because I keep saying buffalo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's a name. | ||
| But those things apparently are the most dangerous thing in Africa. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Next to hippos. | ||
| Hippos, yeah. | ||
| Hippos. | ||
| Cape buffalo or African buffalo. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| So, I was kind of right. | ||
| But those fuckers, when I was watching the show on the Maasai, one of the ladies had gone to get water and she got jacked by a buffalo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, you just do too close. | ||
| They go, fuck you, and they just run at you. | ||
| Think of a bull, like how mean bulls are. | ||
| And fast. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, bull riders, I mean, those bulls are just like, fuck you, kicking them off. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, that's what these goddamn things are, but times 10. Oh, man. | ||
| They're enormous. | ||
| What about the hyenas? | ||
| That's what I'm worried about. | ||
| Scary, too. | ||
| Those things are evil. | ||
| They're all scary. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They're mean. | ||
| You know, hyenas are one of the few animals where the female is larger than the male to keep the male from eating the babies. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, they don't give a shit. | ||
| They're so mean. | ||
| And their jaws are super strong. | ||
| Yeah, like some of the strongest bites in the world. | ||
| I think the only thing stronger is like crocodiles. | ||
| On these safari things, you can't go out, like you can't go to the bathroom at night. | ||
| Is this the buffaloes? | ||
| Yeah, the attacks part, if you can read that. | ||
| What does it say, buddy? | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Other than the Big Five, it is known as the Black Death or Widowmaker and is widely regarded as a very dangerous animal. | ||
| Whoa, it gores and kills over 200 people every year. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Buffaloes are sometimes reported to kill people in Africa, kill more people in Africa than any other animal. | ||
| Yeah, but look at that picture of Hemingway. | ||
| He just killed that thing. | ||
| Although some of the claims are made by hippos and crocodiles. | ||
| Yeah, you mean you could definitely kill them. | ||
| I'm totally killing it. | ||
| They don't taste good, though. | ||
| My problem would be with one of those things. | ||
| Well, you can absolutely eat buffalo. | ||
| Like a buddy of mine shot one with a bow and arrow, but he said he was practicing with his bow and arrow for a half an hour while chewing one piece of meat. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, literally, it's so tough. | ||
| I had buffalo this winter from the Yellowstone area. | ||
| Oh, I had bison. | ||
| That was good. | ||
| Oh, that's delicious. | ||
| Yeah, that's a different kind of buffalo. | ||
| Well, there's a real controversy, and this isn't a good thing to bring up now, because I found out something yesterday. | ||
| There's a big controversy that's going on in Yellowstone because they're culling a large number of bison from Yellowstone. | ||
| And these people are freaking out about it. | ||
| And they're freaking out about it from a couple different sides, but one of the reasons why they say they're killing them is because there's a large population of them. | ||
| There's no hunting in Yellowstone, and these animals are traveling to outside of Yellowstone, and they're using the land that ranchers use for cattle. | ||
| So there's public land that ranchers have rights to have their cattle graze on, but then these bison are intruding into these land, and they're saying that the bison carry brucellosis, which is apparently a very dangerous disease for cattle because it makes their babies stillborn. | ||
| But there's no evidence, apparently, that brucellosis is transferred from bison to cattle. | ||
| See, one of the guys that was on the Twitter exchange that I was having last night was explaining that, and I said, really? | ||
| I said, well, why are they killing these animals? | ||
| They're saying that they have brucellosis, and they're worried about them transferring it to cattle. | ||
| No evidence that they've done it. | ||
| So I go and look at it, and apparently it's true. | ||
| Apparently elk are more likely to transfer brucellosis to cattle, but elk don't use the same grazing ground. | ||
| They don't graze the same way that cattle do. | ||
| So what these buffalo do is they're competing for grazing ground, and they're using their brucellosis as an excuse to slaughter them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| And so they're just going in there and shooting them. | ||
| And they use all the meat. | ||
| I mean, they're bringing all the meat to... | ||
| I mean, it all becomes... | ||
| Either gets donated to Native Americans or they butcher it and sell it. | ||
| So you're allowed to shoot them? | ||
| They're allowing a cull of a certain amount of them, but apparently it's hundreds of them. | ||
| And people that love seeing those things at Yellowstone are kind of freaking out because... | ||
| They're doing it because of cattle operations, really. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's really a thinly disguised protection of cattle land. | ||
| It's a strange thing because you... | ||
| Bring them back, and they get to a certain number, and then that number becomes too large. | ||
| But too large for what? | ||
| Too large in our... | ||
| It's only too large for a very small area. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, for the way that the humans are living. | ||
| Like, you know, in New Jersey, they have this... | ||
| There's so many deer, you want to shoot more deer, but it's because it's the most densely populated state in the Union. | ||
| There's just... | ||
| That's the real problem with deer. | ||
| Deer require a prey-predator balance that we have in California. | ||
| California has a weird thing going on. | ||
| I like it in some ways and in other ways I don't like it. | ||
| One of the things that I do like it is that what California has done is allowed mountain lions to kill the deer. | ||
| And you can't kill mountain lions. | ||
| So there's no hunting of mountain lions. | ||
| It's one of the few states One of the few states that has a large, healthy mountain lion population where hunting's not regulated. | ||
| So the problem is, wildlife biologists don't agree with that. | ||
| Wildlife biologists think that you have to manage the numbers of mountain lions just like you manage all the other animals. | ||
| On the flip side, because you don't hunt mountain lions, you see very little deer. | ||
| It's very hard to find. | ||
| Deer hunting in California has diminished radically since the 1990s when they instituted this no mountain lion hunting. | ||
| So the mountain lions are just eating them up. | ||
| They're going like crazy. | ||
| And there's a lot of mountain lions. | ||
| There's a lot. | ||
| There's a friend of mine who works on a ranch called Tejon Ranch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| And Tohono Ranch has this one waterhole where they have a camera set up to photograph whatever animals in there. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They found 16 different mountain lions on one waterhole. | ||
| Jeez. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Well, they create those breezeways, like, over the freeways and stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Well, they're trying to do that. | ||
| I don't know if they have actually done that. | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| Have they actually built it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where? | |
| I've seen them. | ||
| I think on the way back from Palm Springs. | ||
| Imagine going up and jogging on one of those things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Have you ever seen that video of the lady in Florida where she's on, like, a small bridge and a panther runs by her? | ||
| No. | ||
| You ever seen it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| It is a shit your pants in a half moment. | ||
| It's big, man. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It is big. | ||
| Yeah, but the Florida panther is another animal that was on the brink of extinction. | ||
| And it's the same animal. | ||
| It's a mountain lion. | ||
| Oh yeah, same thing. | ||
| Puma, panther, mountain lion, same animal. | ||
| Just different colors? | ||
| No, not even different colors. | ||
| This one is a mountain lion color. | ||
| Different outfits? | ||
| Yes, they have different nail polish and stuff. | ||
| But this, uh, watch this video. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| This lady's on this bridge. | ||
| Check this shit out. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Will we hear it? | ||
| Give us some volume, Jamie. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| So she's hanging out. | ||
| She's walking on this bridge. | ||
| She's like, look, everything is so pretty. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
| Holy shit. | ||
| Ah! | ||
| What in the fuck, dude? | ||
| He just wasn't interested. | ||
| What in the fuck? | ||
| Thank God. | ||
| What in the f- That's a big cat, too, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's this wooden bridge in the Everglades, I think it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| Holy shit. | ||
| He got scared. | ||
| He was just as scared. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| They were talking about him out here, and they showed a guy was working on someone's house. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like in the Hollywood Hills. | ||
| And the guy just comes out. | ||
| He's like doing the plumbing or something. | ||
| He's like, there's something in there. | ||
| It's really big. | ||
| He just put like a flashlight on this giant stick and deep under the house, that was his den. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| He was just living in there. | ||
| Living under his house. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's another video that I posted yesterday, Jamie, of this guy where a bear, a fucking huge bear, comes running at him, full clip, and the guy jumps up and down and screams at the top of his lungs and it turns around and bolts. | ||
| It worked? | ||
| Last minute. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's on my Twitter. | ||
| But, like, last minute. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I mean, it got, like, as close as Jamie is to you. | ||
| Grizzly? | ||
| Huge. | ||
| Huge. | ||
| I mean, like 700 pounds. | ||
| It is a fucking enormous, this bear. | ||
| Look how big this bear is. | ||
| Like, wait until you see this video. | ||
| You're going to shit your pants. | ||
| So go full screen, Jamie. | ||
| It's not going full screen? | ||
| Wait, you're going to shit your pants, dude. | ||
| Swedish man. | ||
| So this guy, he sees it in the woods, and he starts running up to him. | ||
| Where's the volume, buddy? | ||
| It's all wintry. | ||
| Why is there no sound? | ||
| There's definitely sound. | ||
| We've got to hear the sound, because the guy screams at it. | ||
| Hold on, we've got to figure it out. | ||
| Wow, it worked. | ||
| Holy shit, I never saw that. | ||
| I never even thought that would work. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Well, it's definitely got sound, so let's figure it out. | ||
| Because you've got to hear it. | ||
| Because the guy goes... | ||
| But look how fucking big it is, man. | ||
| Look at the size of it. | ||
| It's running at him. | ||
| Like, running at him. | ||
| And he was able to scare it. | ||
| He reels back like he's scared. | ||
| Well, he went for it. | ||
| You know, look. | ||
| And the bear's like, oh shit! | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| Cha-cha-cha! | ||
| Look how big he is, and look how much bigger that thing is. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's like four times, five times bigger than him. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Look at the size of that thing! | ||
| Oh my god, that makes me freak out. | ||
| If he had turned and run, he would have been eaten. | ||
| Oh yeah, for sure. | ||
| I mean, the thing ran at him like it was dinner time. | ||
| I was that close to a bear. | ||
| Where? | ||
| In Alaska in Denali. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| A grizzly? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Big ass grizzly. | ||
| We woke up in the morning and we were in backcountry for a couple weeks just hiking and walking around and we woke up and we were making our breakfast and we look up on a ridge and there's this big ass bear. | ||
| This is September so it's like late. | ||
| It's like they're getting ready to hibernate and he's walking down the ridge As we're packing up. | ||
| Up the ridge is actually where we were cleaning our dishes and doing all this stuff. | ||
| Now we're back at camp. | ||
| We're breaking down to hike out. | ||
| We see this thing go walking down. | ||
| Just dumbasses. | ||
| We're so lucky we didn't get eaten. | ||
| We pack up and we just start walking in the same direction that the bear was going. | ||
| We're like, he's not going to be going. | ||
| He probably has beaten us there. | ||
| We're walking through these These reeds, these like bamboo kind of little reeds, but they were only like six feet high. | ||
| And there's like eight of us, maybe six of us. | ||
| And we're walking with our packs on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And you just hear whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. | |
| And you see the reeds separating whoosh, whoosh. | ||
| Slowly, though. | ||
| Like, it's not coming fast. | ||
| Just whoosh! | ||
| And we're like, what the hell? | ||
| That's probably the bear. | ||
| We see that it's the bear. | ||
| And, you know, you're supposed to do what that guy did. | ||
| Put your arms up, or at least freeze, and don't... | ||
| Everyone in the group took off. | ||
| That's the one thing you're not supposed to do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| They ran? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| No! | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I'm frozen in the pose, me and my one friend. | ||
| Like, you're not supposed to do. | ||
| We run, and we're in our... | ||
| Ah! | ||
| Ah! | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| But the bear, thankfully, just by a stroke of luck, this thing was so fat and tired, at the end of September, he just wanted to go down low, get some more berries, and take a snooze. | ||
| He was not interested in us at all. | ||
| He was just... | ||
| Oh, you're so lucky. | ||
| So lucky. | ||
| But I swear to God, it was from me to the end of this table. | ||
| Yeah, well, when they're gathering up berries, that's when you're safest. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They get in their head that that's what they want to eat, and they eat a lot of berries. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He did not, he was not interested. | ||
| Dude, fuck all that, man. | ||
| So close. | ||
| Fuck those animals. | ||
| There's another... | ||
| I mean, I love that they're there. | ||
| I think it's cool, but goddammit, they scared the shit out of me. | ||
| There's a video of these guys. | ||
| They're hanging out by this river, and they have like a little lawn chair, and this bear, this enormous grizzly bear, just walks up and sits down next to them. | ||
| Have you seen that one, Jamie? | ||
| Close encounter with grizzly bear casually walks up to people. | ||
| And they just had to talk to him. | ||
| They're like, hey man, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| And the bear just gets up and leaves. | ||
| But I mean, he's like a school bus. | ||
| Yeah, it's like a minivan. | ||
| I always describe it like a minivan. | ||
| Did you find one? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Look at this! | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Look at the size of this. | ||
| It just sat next to his chair. | ||
| Just pulls up to his chair. | ||
| What a beautiful animal, though. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| Oh, man, they're gorgeous. | ||
| What are you supposed to do if that's you? | ||
| You can't do shit. | ||
| Can't do shit. | ||
| Because, look, you don't want to provoke it. | ||
| No. | ||
| You definitely don't want to back up. | ||
| That thing is just chasing salmon right now. | ||
| Yeah, you don't want to yell at it. | ||
| Yeah, as long as it doesn't think you're a threat. | ||
| They're really dumb, right? | ||
| In their mind... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, not dumb like... | ||
| No. | ||
| I mean, dumb like if they were a person, they'd be retarded. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They're like... | ||
| They're simple. | ||
| They're predators. | ||
| They get in their head. | ||
| What they want to do... | ||
| Oh my god, he's just sitting down! | ||
| This is awesome. | ||
| He just decided to chill. | ||
| What a clear shot. | ||
| Look at his claws. | ||
| One swipe. | ||
| Your face is off. | ||
| The guy who's filming this is 10 feet away from him. | ||
| He's right there! | ||
| And he eventually talks to him. | ||
| He's like, hey, get out of here. | ||
| Like, the bear looks at him like, baby, I'll eat you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, guys. | |
| Watch this. | ||
| Look how close it is. | ||
| The bear looks like a little annoyed for a second. | ||
| Dude, the thing just wandered towards him. | ||
| Seriously, oh my god, they're everywhere! | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| Oh my god, now I don't even feel bad for that guy. | ||
| Back that up. | ||
| Like, watch how they go to the river. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This guy's sitting with a lawn chair by the river while one, two, let's see, three, four, five, six, and that one, seven. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| Oh my god, there's a dozen bears! | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's a dozen massive grizzly bears. | |
| Oh my god, I'm so scared. | ||
| Oh my god, there's more! | ||
| Look at those other two! | ||
| 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, oh my god. | ||
| How funny if you pull back and the guy with the camera is a bear. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| They're the coolest animal. | ||
| That's my favorite animal. | ||
| Pretty goddamn cool until they're eating you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And not so cool. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, well, they're so cool to look at. | ||
| They are. | ||
| They're so cool to look at. | ||
| When they get up... | ||
| Have you ever eaten bear? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| Brown bear is not so good. | ||
| Those are not so good. | ||
| They're mostly predators. | ||
| But black bear, they eat a lot of berries. | ||
| It's traditional. | ||
| Hunters have been eating bear forever. | ||
| I thought when people went to hunt bear, before I became a hunter, I was like, why would you want to shoot a bear? | ||
| That's kind of stupid. | ||
| It's gross. | ||
| I thought of it like trophy hunting. | ||
| Like someone who goes out and Kills a rhino or something like that. | ||
| Like, ah, why are you doing that, man? | ||
| You're just doing that to stuff that thing or something? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But, no. | ||
| They eat them. | ||
| Who turns you on to eating a bear? | ||
| I mean, to hunting a bear. | ||
| My friend Cameron Haynes is a bow hunter. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Yeah, he's like, they taste good. | ||
| Don't listen to anybody. | ||
| He's like, everybody has this idea in their head that you don't eat them. | ||
| He goes, that's not true. | ||
| Up in Canada, in particular. | ||
| Like, where we hunt. | ||
| It's traditional. | ||
| Every year, people go out hunting bear in Alberta. | ||
| Really? | ||
| They're delicious, man. | ||
| The way I describe it, it's like a deer and a pig. | ||
| It's like a combination of deer and pig. | ||
| Deer and pig. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's an interesting... | ||
| It's almost got, like, kind of a beefy flavor. | ||
| They make roasts out of them and all these different things. | ||
| Jeez. | ||
| And they have to keep the population down because they don't have any predators. | ||
| So there's massive numbers of them, and they slaughter the moose and the deer. | ||
| So people up there who prize moose and deer, which is really important for their food, that's most of what they eat. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, I've heard of people hunting moose. | ||
| I never heard of people hunting bear. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of bear hunting. | ||
| A lot of spring and fall bear hunting. | ||
| Apparently fall is the best because when they eat berries, especially blueberries, they actually get a blueberry tint to their fat. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| And their meat smells sweet. | ||
| Oh, interesting. | ||
| Well, that's really weird, but your body, like, those grizzlies are bad to eat because they're eating raw fish and rotten fish all the time. | ||
| They eat, like, carcasses. | ||
| Like, if you eat a bear that's been eating, like, a dead moose, like if a moose gets killed and you just eat the carcass, it tastes terrible. | ||
| So you are what you eat, and you can apply that to yourself. | ||
| Your body literally is built up, as we were talking about earlier, of the nutrients that you put in it, the food that you put in it, your dietary choices. | ||
| That's the same thing with bears. | ||
| So these black bears that are living up there, they're mostly eating... | ||
| Look, when they get a chance, they eat a lot of fawns, like deer fawns and calves, moose calves. | ||
| And occasionally, they can eat an actual deer, like if a deer breaks its leg or fucks up. | ||
| Most of the time, deer can get away when they're full grown. | ||
| But the ones that eat the berries, they're delicious. | ||
| And this is like a... | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Is that the same guy? | ||
| That's a picture from the place I looked it up. | ||
| It's called the McNeil State Sanctuary in Alaska. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| No one has apparently ever died there. | ||
| But all these bears come and for three months they gather and just gorge on salmon. | ||
| So they're not even looking for that. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| See, that's one of the cool things about those bears when they're in those situations. | ||
| Like, they just have it in their head. | ||
| Like, okay, we're just eating fish now. | ||
| I'm eating fish. | ||
| Look at how many of them there are. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| We're looking at a photograph, and Jamie, where'd you find this photo? | ||
| I just googled McNeil animals. | ||
| So there's, in this image, there's 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 bears just in this one photo. | ||
| Jeez. | ||
| And they're giant. | ||
| That is the coolest. | ||
| Giant grizzlies. | ||
| Kodiak is the weirdest place, man. | ||
| Because Kodiak is an island, but it has the biggest brown bears in the world. | ||
| It says they're brown bears, though, too. | ||
| Is that where... | ||
| Brown bears and grizzlies are the same thing. | ||
| Is that where Grizzly Man bought it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was Kodiak? | ||
| No, he bought it in Alaska. | ||
| He bought it in a place called the Grizzly Maze, which is a place where... | ||
| What is he eating there? | ||
| Dumb place to go. | ||
| Is that a fish? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a piece of fish. | ||
| It looks like crab. | ||
| But Google the giant bears of Kodiak, because they're the most enormous grizzly bears, or brown bears, rather, in the world. | ||
| When they're on the coast, they call them brown bears. | ||
| When they're interior, they call them grizzly bears. | ||
|
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|
That's the difference. | |
| It's the same exact animal. | ||
| That's a dead one. | ||
| Look at the size of that thing. | ||
| Jeez, that's massive. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
|
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|
What the fuck, man? | |
| Is that fake? | ||
| I think that's a trained bear, actually. | ||
| Yeah, the guy. | ||
| I see the guy. | ||
| But I think that's a trained bear. | ||
| I think that's like a movie bear. | ||
| Look at that one down there. | ||
| Look at that one right below with the guy standing there with a rifle. | ||
| Above and to the right. | ||
| Above and to the right. | ||
| Yeah, look at that. | ||
| What the fuck, man? | ||
| Look at his feet. | ||
| Look at the size of that thing. | ||
| Look how big his feet are. | ||
| And you know what's crazy? | ||
| There was a bear that was way bigger than that called the short-faced bear that we brought up the other day that was apparently the most fearsome predator in North America up until like 11,000 years ago. | ||
| Look at that thing running. | ||
|
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|
What? | |
| That is so wild. | ||
| It's so crazy that this being exists. | ||
| I know. | ||
| You know, because if you didn't have bears, if they weren't real, and then it was in a movie, you'd be like, imagine if those things were running around. | ||
| But they really are running around, and we just get so used to them. | ||
| When you hike in the backcountry like that, you have to put all your food in these containers, these black containers. | ||
| And hang them. | ||
| Yeah, the first time I did it, I was like, I had all this food and it's like, so you just put it in a bag and you hang it up there. | ||
| They're like, no, you put it in these cylinders. | ||
| You don't even have to hang them. | ||
| You can just get them out of the way because they're just completely sealed. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But the amount of food you can fit in that is like... | ||
| You'd have to bring all packs of stuff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It has to be so small. | ||
| You have to live so small because they just come. | ||
| And sometimes you're in your tent and you just hear... | ||
|
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|
Fuck that. | |
| Well, they have dehydrated food and freeze-dried food. | ||
| And freeze-dried food is you just add certain hot water to it, but dehydrated gets really, really small. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So you can pack a lot of food into a very small area, and you just have to figure out how to add water to it. | ||
| It's got to be amazing. | ||
| I haven't done it in probably 12 years. | ||
| The amount of improvement that must have gone on in those 12 years has got to be mind-blowing. | ||
| From the food? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just going into the camping section must be like a whole futuristic thing now. | ||
| I think the big improvement is dehydration versus freeze-drying. | ||
|
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|
Right. | |
| As far as like space. | ||
| How much space that you save. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So when you see a bear and you're there with your little bow and arrow... | ||
| Yeah, you're fucked. | ||
| Are you... | ||
| Not good. | ||
| Not good. | ||
| Are you scared? | ||
| Oh yeah, for sure, man. | ||
| Yeah, if you see bears, you should be fucking nervous as shit. | ||
| I mean, most likely they're not going to come get you, but they might. | ||
| If you miss, like if you hit it in its knee, will he be pissed and come get you? | ||
| Perhaps. | ||
| Most likely they'll run away. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Most likely. | ||
| I know a guy who knows a guy whose friend was attacked. | ||
| There's several steps removed. | ||
| That's how you know it's a good story, though. | ||
| First hunting trip ever. | ||
| I think they were hunting for deer. | ||
| He's in his tent, and he gets mauled in his tent by a 500-pound predatory black bear. | ||
| 500 pounds? | ||
| I didn't think they got that big. | ||
| Oh, they get bigger than that. | ||
| Do they really? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I thought black bear were like the small bear to the... | ||
| No, they're sometimes small, but that's when they're juvenile. | ||
| Like, they have a hardscrabble life, man. | ||
| Most of them get eaten as cubs and other bears. | ||
| Bears are cannibals. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, especially black bears. | ||
| They eat each other? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Well, brown bears, too, but black bears get enormous. | ||
| A friend of mine just killed one that was eight and a half feet tall. | ||
| Jeez. | ||
| Yeah, look at this picture. | ||
| I'm going to show you a picture. | ||
| And you're going to go, what? | ||
| Look at the size of that. | ||
| That's a black bear. | ||
| Whoa, that's big. | ||
| Eight and a half feet. | ||
| We're 8 foot 3 inches. | ||
| So you're deep in the woods. | ||
| You kill this thing. | ||
| How do you get it out of there? | ||
| Well, you gotta cut it up. | ||
| You cut it up and you pack it out. | ||
| Yeah, you have to. | ||
| There's no other way. | ||
| Unless you have a large SUV or something that you can drag it into. | ||
| But you're walking in. | ||
| Yeah, if you're walking in, you're gonna have to pack that out. | ||
| Jeez. | ||
| Do you take his head? | ||
| You take everything. | ||
| Take it all. | ||
| Yeah, if you're going to kill an animal, I think you should take everything. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You should take all the meat, for sure, and these skulls that you see, like that deer, that moose, and the deer over there, and the elk that's out there, those are all, I mean... | ||
| Right. | ||
| It becomes, like, I don't want to say a decoration, because it's way more powerful than that. | ||
| Like, if I had to choose, like, anything to keep in this room, it would be the skulls. | ||
| Like, if they're like, you could take a couple things in this room, everything else is to go. | ||
| I'm like, I'm not letting these skulls go to waste. | ||
| It's just, it means too much as far as, like... | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's a spiritual level, too. | ||
| A connection. | ||
| It's like these animals, there's a bunch of things that happens. | ||
| You eat them, you shoot them, you eat them, they become food, you have friends over. | ||
| I'm going to give you some elk when you leave. | ||
| I've got a freezer back there. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's delicious. | |
| You'll love it. | ||
| Can you dunk your bread in it? | ||
| You can make elk burgers with your sourdough bread. | ||
| But I feel like there's a responsibility. | ||
| You're the caretaker of their skulls, if that makes any sense. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is right when vegans shoot themselves. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can't take this anymore. | |
| What do you got there, Jamie? | ||
| The biggest black bear they found weighed up to 900 pounds, I think, was in Wisconsin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
| Look at the size of that fucking thing. | ||
| Bear expert Jeff Traska saw Ted in Ted's lifelong Wisconsin home and estimated him at over 900 pounds. | ||
| Ted then went into hibernation and lost weight over winter, 20% loss. | ||
| 80 and 120 pounds. | ||
| Ted arrived here at the North American Bear Center in 2007. He still had a huge belly. | ||
| He weighed 860 pounds. | ||
| So they captured him? | ||
| Is that what happened? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Geez. | |
| Wasn't there a real popular bear that just got shot in Yellowstone? | ||
| Yeah, he got shot outside of Yellowstone by a poacher. | ||
| It was a poacher? | ||
| Yeah, it was a bear that was dying already anyway. | ||
| He'd lost 50% of his body weight. | ||
| He was all scarred up. | ||
| He was like, people knew him. | ||
| He was a legendary bear. | ||
| Yeah, he apparently had scars all over him. | ||
| That's how you could tell what he looked like from fighting with other bears. | ||
| His face was just ripped apart. | ||
| A lot of marriage. | ||
| Right, fellas? | ||
| Love and marriage. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Love and marriage. | |
| Get your shine box, Mia. | ||
| You and Polanski can hit the skids. | ||
| That's another thing I'm doing this summer. | ||
| I'm going to Yellowstone. | ||
| I haven't been to Yellowstone since I was a kid. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm going. | |
| I can't wait. | ||
| I hope we see some wolves. | ||
| That'd be the coolest shit ever. | ||
| It's the coolest. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I saw wolves, moose, and bison. | ||
| When did you go? | ||
| When my wife and I were dating, first started dating, which would be 18 years ago now, on a motorcycle. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| You went to Yeltsin? | ||
| You fucking rebel. | ||
| Cross country for five weeks. | ||
| Wild ass fucking professional comedian. | ||
| You must have thrilled her. | ||
| Like, I found a real man. | ||
| A wild man with a motorcycle wants to fucking go chase down a moose. | ||
| I don't want to stay here. | ||
| Let's go to the Days Inn. | ||
| That was me, not her. | ||
| Did she want to camp on top of a rock? | ||
| But we camped. | ||
| We did a lot of Days Inns across the country, but when we got to the Tetons and Yellowstone, we camped. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| And man, in the tent and looking across this field at just early morning, like 5 a.m., just watching bison do their thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And you just woke up there, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| You know what's so cool about that? | ||
| That that park is essentially the same way it was a hundred years ago. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Like you're sitting there and these animals are living. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's near Old Faithful. | ||
| Oh, it's the greatest. | ||
| What amazing animals bisons are. | ||
| Incredible. | ||
| I mean, just they don't even look real with their crazy beards and their big stupid heads. | ||
| And their high heels. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, right? | ||
| Like, if you're gonna have an animal that big, why would it have feet so little? | ||
| A little dainty girl feet. | ||
| Like, Chinese foot binding and shit for giant bison. | ||
| He's got a Thelonious monk goatee. | ||
| What is the color of that ground, Jamie? | ||
| Why is it so orange like that? | ||
| Yeah, but go back to that picture with the bison. | ||
| Oh, the sulfur, right? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Probably. | ||
| God, it's so beautiful. | ||
| That's so crazy looking. | ||
| Oh, it's the craziest. | ||
| Crazy that that is a volcano that just has like a leaky spot. | ||
| It's so amazing. | ||
| I went when I was a kid. | ||
| And there are lesser geysers as you go around, you know, it's not just faithful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's a giant volcano. | ||
| They have something like 2,000 earthquakes a year there, maybe even more. | ||
| Oh yeah, those little baby ones. | ||
| Is that a wolf? | ||
| That's a wolf. | ||
| That population came roaring back, too. | ||
| That is really successful. | ||
| They brought them back. | ||
| It wasn't that they came back. | ||
| They brought wolves from North America, from Canada, rather. | ||
| They're different. | ||
| Oh, they are? | ||
| Yeah, they're larger. | ||
| They're larger wolves. | ||
| Larger gray wolves from North America. | ||
| I keep saying that. | ||
| From Canada. | ||
| Look at that little cute fucker. | ||
| Hey, what was that guy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that a white fox? | |
| Don't forget about me, fellas. | ||
| What is he? | ||
| A weasel? | ||
| Yeah, the band's a big deal, but I'm a big guy, too. | ||
| Look how cute. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, look at me. | |
| Hey, fucker. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, you fucker, you got a sandwich for me? | |
| That's a white weasel. | ||
| God, he's so adorable. | ||
| Yeah, take a look at me. | ||
| Isn't it funny that's a little murderer? | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| A little scavenger. | ||
| If a rabbit sees that, he's like, fuck! | ||
| Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! | ||
| What the hell are you doing? | ||
| Ferrets are illegal in California, but pit bulls aren't. | ||
| Fuck the bears. | ||
| Come hang out with me. | ||
| Listen, we're gonna be in this log. | ||
| We're fine. | ||
| The bear don't even know we're alive. | ||
| They're practically retarded. | ||
| There was a photo, a cute little bear cub. | ||
| There was a photo that I had on my Instagram page of a bear with a groundhog in its mouth. | ||
| Like, completely in its mouth. | ||
| With just, like, the feet are poking out at the end. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And you're like, oh, these fucking things are so big. | |
| They're just eating machines, man. | ||
| This is all day. | ||
| You know, it's my new animal. | ||
| I saw a documentary. | ||
| Bears are my main animal, but... | ||
| This year's animal is the beaver. | ||
| Beavers? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cool. | |
| Holy cow. | ||
| Those things are amazing. | ||
| What a weird fucking animal too, huh? | ||
| Weird! | ||
| That weird ass tail. | ||
| Just going to work. | ||
| Nasty ass buck teeth. | ||
| Changing river flows. | ||
| They stuck some beavers in Nevada and they brought back a whole region just because they manage the water. | ||
| They do some weird shit, man. | ||
| They all have a weird place. | ||
| That's one of the coolest things about nature is these weird places that every animal has in the system. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| These things are amazing. | ||
| They just go in and just go to town. | ||
| They change the whole bottom of the lake and the river. | ||
| They just take all of the wood and they stick with their family. | ||
| They're very family-oriented animals. | ||
| What a strange animal that regularly chews down trees and builds structures. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| Like, what? | ||
| Just constant. | ||
| What other animals like that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
None. | |
| None. | ||
| Sorry, none. | ||
| This guy just goes to work with his face. | ||
| But how does he know? | ||
| How does he know to chop down that tree? | ||
| That's what he does. | ||
| I'm a beaver. | ||
| That's what I do, buddy. | ||
| I'm a fucking beaver. | ||
| I chew. | ||
| What asshole saw that and thought that'd be a good nickname for a pussy? | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| Let me see your beaver. | ||
| Let me see your beaver. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Oh, there's one down there. | ||
| There was one. | ||
| There was one down there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn it. | |
| This is why you can't look shit up with your kids. | ||
| Oh, that's not the kind of beaver we're looking for, honey. | ||
| If I had to pick one animal that I could see in the woods, like accidentally see, like wandering around, I think it'd be a wolverine. | ||
| A wolverine? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just to see them. | ||
| Like, apparently they're really rare to see. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Apparently you could, like, be like a woodsman. | ||
| A woodsman. | ||
| And never see a woodsman. | ||
| Or a woodswoman. | ||
| A woodsman. | ||
| For many years. | ||
| I'd like to be a woodsman. | ||
| Would you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You get bored after a while. | ||
| Yeah, you smell too. | ||
| You can share it. | ||
| You could shower or bathe in the river. | ||
| You don't. | ||
| Go down the stream. | ||
| Whoa, look at that wolverine. | ||
| That's a wolverine? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You don't want to see that? | ||
| Yeah, you do. | ||
| They don't really have people. | ||
| Where are they? | ||
| They're like in Austria? | ||
| What in the fuck? | ||
| Look at his face. | ||
| No, they're in America. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Like in Yosemite? | ||
| Oh, guaranteed. | ||
| They have some wolverines out there. | ||
| Oh, look at that. | ||
| Look at those teeth. | ||
| Ferocious little animal, man. | ||
| How big is that? | ||
| I don't think they get that big. | ||
| I think they're like 50 pounds or something. | ||
| Oh, look at this asshole kid. | ||
| Jesus fucking Christ, kid! | ||
| Oh, it's on a leash. | ||
| He's on a leash. | ||
| How's that Wolverine on a leash? | ||
| I don't want to see that. | ||
| That thing looks gross. | ||
| Oh, it's a beast. | ||
| It's got like a sloth body and a... | ||
| Aw, come on. | ||
| Look at this one. | ||
| Messed up face. | ||
| Got a couple of them that he's holding on to. | ||
| They're adorable. | ||
| They're adorable. | ||
| I don't like him. | ||
| You don't? | ||
| No. | ||
| They're in the weasel family, apparently. | ||
| I like a nice beaver. | ||
| A nice laid-back guy. | ||
| He's got a tail. | ||
| He has little teeth. | ||
| He goes to work. | ||
| He can't really talk to you. | ||
| He's working on his projects. | ||
| You prefer the animals. | ||
| They're non-threatening. | ||
| No, but I love the bear. | ||
| The bear is my main animal. | ||
| I think wolves, too. | ||
| I think wolf would be like... | ||
| If I could see a pack of wolf take out a deer, I think that would be the coolest shit to see. | ||
| This is why we've got to go to Africa. | ||
| We're going to see so much shit. | ||
| We're going to see a lot of stuff. | ||
| You think? | ||
| A lot of stuff. | ||
| What are you going to say? | ||
| Everything eating everything. | ||
| There's going to be lions eating bears, eating zebras. | ||
| No bears. | ||
| There's going to be lions eating zebras. | ||
| There's going to be giraffes being ripped apart. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is going to put everything in perspective. | ||
| How long is the flight? | ||
| Going through Amsterdam from New York. | ||
| I'm going to go to New York first. | ||
| Then I'm going to go from there to Amsterdam to Tanzania. | ||
| And that's like, I think a 16 hour ordeal. | ||
| With a stop, though? | ||
| From LA to... | ||
| What is this, Jamie? | ||
| LA to New York is five. | ||
| Oh my god, they're getting chased by a giraffe. | ||
| Look at the girl's face. | ||
| She's fucking panicking. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| They really are getting chased, too. | ||
| That's legit. | ||
| What do they do when they catch up to you? | ||
| They spit on you? | ||
| No, they swing their heads like a weapon. | ||
| Swing your head at me, I'll knock you the fuck out. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| I'm riding one of those things. | ||
| So I keep telling my kids, I am riding a giraffe. | ||
| Like, Dad, you can't ride giraffes. | ||
| Don't try. | ||
| You can do it. | ||
| I'm going to do it. | ||
| Especially wild ones. | ||
| Mom, tell them you can't ride a giraffe. | ||
| Did they really argue about that? | ||
| Yeah, they did. | ||
| So we keep it going, of course. | ||
| I have a picture. | ||
| We were at the San Diego Zoo recently, or the Santa Barbara Zoo. | ||
| That's a good one. | ||
| Giraffes are one of the few animals, I actually had a bit about this in my act, they're one of the few animals that I think are better off in captivity. | ||
| Because they don't give a fuck. | ||
| Other animals look so sad, but giraffes are like, another day with no lions. | ||
| And they just wander around. | ||
| They don't seem to mind at all. | ||
| Their behavior is so predictable that they let babies feed them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You can hold up a piece of leaf and a baby will come over and take it from the baby. | ||
| No, they're just really chilled out animals. | ||
| But, here's the other thing, but they're fucking mean to other giraffes. | ||
| They fight to the death. | ||
| They beat the shit out of each other with those lumps on the top of their heads. | ||
| Yeah, they swing it. | ||
| And one of the other things they do, they keep food away from younger giraffes, and the way they do it is they eat all the low-hanging leaves, and they do it to try to purposely starve out other giraffes. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, it's kind of fucked up, man. | ||
| They're arrogant. | ||
| Well, they'll eat lower leaves. | ||
| Even though they can reach the higher ones, they eat lower leaves. | ||
| And it's speculated they do it because of competition for food that they want to literally box out these giraffes and let them starve to death. | ||
| Jeez. | ||
| Well, that's the thing. | ||
| Everything's mean. | ||
| A friend of mine went. | ||
| Everything's mean. | ||
| A friend of mine went, and they have a similar problem that I have, which I have a cat that's just a killing machine. | ||
| It just kills every day. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| Birds. | ||
| You let it out? | ||
| Birds, lizards. | ||
| You can't keep it in. | ||
| It's a wild night. | ||
| It just wants to... | ||
| Non-stop. | ||
| It's like, I'm going outside, so... | ||
| So we're kind of freaked out and we're trying to stop it and putting bells on it. | ||
| And my friend had the same thing with its cat and went to Africa, came back and said, everything eats everything. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| It put everything in perspective. | ||
| It's just like, this is how the world works. | ||
| Well, this is certainly how nature got to 2016. It didn't get to 2016 by everybody just waiting in line for food. | ||
| Being polite. | ||
| Yeah, there's a number that they put at house cats, how many animals they kill every year, and just in North America, it's in billions. | ||
| Billions. | ||
| Billions in birds and in mammals. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Billions of birds and billions of mammals. | ||
| They're just ruthless little fuckers. | ||
| They are, and people are complaining now, they've heard these stats, and they're like, you shouldn't let your Nature's cleanup crew. | ||
| That's the way it goes. | ||
| That's how nature works. | ||
| Well, if they didn't do that, though, if they didn't have those instincts, honestly, like coyotes, if coyotes weren't out there doing that, if all these animals weren't out there doing that, we would be overrun with rodents, first of all. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There'd be mice everywhere. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| Because there'd be nothing to eat them. | ||
| If it weren't for birds and hawks and... | ||
| It'd be like living in the Bronx. | ||
| We have this issue at our house where we just recently installed this fence in our backyard that's glass. | ||
| And we used to have a metal fence there, but now it's a glass fence. | ||
| And the Hawks haven't figured it out yet. | ||
| So every now and then you hear a thunk! | ||
| And we'll go outside. | ||
| What are they coming in for? | ||
| What do you have there? | ||
| They're swooping down to kill shit. | ||
| What do you got? | ||
| We have chickens. | ||
| But they're not killing the chickens. | ||
| But one did disappear that we can't totally put a finger on what happened to it. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Could have been a coyote, though. | ||
| Yeah, that'd be bird on bird. | ||
| We've seen... | ||
| But bird on bird's super common. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like black on black crime. | ||
| And no one wants to talk about it. | ||
| Nobody wants to talk about it, but it happens. | ||
| But it's real. | ||
| But a friend of mine was sitting in his backyard, and he watched a hawk come down and scoop up a dove. | ||
| He said a dove was just sitting there just chilling and all of a sudden... | ||
| Really? | ||
| He said it happened like 20 feet from his face. | ||
| He was like, what the fuck, man? | ||
| This raptor just came down from the sky. | ||
| Yeah, they take pets. | ||
| But these hawks, they swoop down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, when they're looking for things and they're looking to make their approach and they just get K the fuck owed. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, and sometimes they die. | ||
| Like we've had one of them died on us, but one of them we had to take to one of those wildlife... | ||
| Like, rescue places. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And they fixed it up and took care of it. | ||
| And then another one recently got knocked the fuck out, sat there. | ||
| It was a pretty big hawk, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And my wife took video of it, like, hey, buddy, how you doing? | ||
| You all right? | ||
| Back up, girls. | ||
| And after she took video of it, the thing eventually got ghost and woke the fuck up and flew away. | ||
| Do coyotes come after the chickens? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, we lost one pretty recently. | ||
| I watched it happen. | ||
| I watched the coyote hop over the fence. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sweet. | |
| Hopped over the fence? | ||
| Hopped over the fence. | ||
| How high a fence? | ||
| Six feet. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, hopped over it like it was nothing. | ||
| I mean, just boink, went right over the top. | ||
| They're super, super agile, man. | ||
| Like, in a weird way. | ||
| Like, you're like, wait a minute. | ||
| I didn't know you could do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I know. | ||
| It went over that fence like it was nothing. | ||
| I'm trying to find the video. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| This is the one where my wife was talking to it. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Guys, don't get close, please. | |
| Look at it. | ||
| That's just a hawk. | ||
| See it in front of the glass fence? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's just chilling. | ||
| It's a big-ass fucking hawk. | ||
| It's big. | ||
| Yeah, he survived. | ||
| It looks like you live in the Amazon. | ||
| It looks like it. | ||
| He survived, but he got fucking cracked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Donk. | |
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because they just fly at full speed right into this. | |
| Donk. | ||
| Maybe you've got to put some stickers on it or something like you do for your grandma so she doesn't go through the sliding glass door. | ||
| Put a Marge Simpson picture on it. | ||
| I just found this video while I was looking for hawks swooping. | ||
| These people let a little bunny go. | ||
| Oh, no, I've seen that. | ||
| Five seconds later. | ||
| Yeah, that's awful. | ||
| Oh, look at the little girl. | ||
| Little cute girl with her little bunny rabbit. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where's your mommy? | |
| It's gone. | ||
| Instantly. | ||
| Instantly. | ||
| That thing just flew in. | ||
| She's asking where its mommy is, and then a raptor. | ||
| See, that's... | ||
| I mean, in some ways, it's cool. | ||
| In some ways, I think that's beautiful. | ||
| But in other ways, like, yeah, the baby's cute. | ||
| But what is it about us where when we look at, like, very small versions of animals... | ||
| Like, I had a picture the other day that I put up on my Instagram of this giant grizzly bear with her three cubs. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I was like, God, look how adorable those little cubs are. | ||
| They're so beautiful. | ||
| But what is going on with us where we see these little things? | ||
| What is cute? | ||
| Like, in quotes. | ||
| Like, look at that picture. | ||
| It's a genetic thing. | ||
| It keeps us from wanting to kill them. | ||
| It's our genes. | ||
| And also to protect our own. | ||
| It's also to let them thrive. | ||
| I mean, you see a baby, you want to protect it. | ||
| That's why when that Connecticut school shooting was like these tiny kids, like kindergarten, that was such a mind-blowing thing. | ||
| Because those are the faces we want to protect. | ||
| It's just the instinct. | ||
| Yeah, and there's a lot of... | ||
| Pure instinct. | ||
| There's so many crazy fuckers that don't believe that that really happened. | ||
| Oh, please. | ||
| Have you seen any of that? | ||
| The, like, people that, like, think that... | ||
| The deniers. | ||
| Yeah, that these, all of these school shootings are, like, false flags. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, do you really think that you can get all those families to lie about losing their kids? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Like, These families are all operatives. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're all CIA. Please. | ||
| People are so shitty. | ||
| People always talk, always... | ||
| There's no way you can organize that many people to keep a secret. | ||
| But it's just amazing that people actually would believe that. | ||
| Like, that would be something they would entertain. | ||
| Well, they're mutants. | ||
| That's against nature. | ||
| To see this thing and think not, like, how do we make sure this doesn't happen again when your head goes to, it's a lie, we're going to keep going, please. | ||
| But there's a weird thing with people. | ||
| They want to believe that a lot of things are lies. | ||
| Like, a lot of things. | ||
| Yeah, because admitting that it happens is admitting that it's chaos. | ||
| But there's weird shit going on today. | ||
| Like, because of the internet, people have these forums and these YouTube pages where they make up this nonsense. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I saw a guy the other day who's a flat-earth guy, and he had a video about how dinosaurs are a hoax. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| 2016. Yeah. | ||
| video about dinosaurs being a hoax. | ||
|
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|
I'm like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. | |
| So all these paleontologists for like, what, 150 years have all been full of shit. | ||
| All in on it. | ||
| All in on the same story. | ||
| Generation to generation. | ||
| Oh, also doesn't believe that satellites are real. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Satellites are not real. | ||
| They're really what's going on. | ||
| We have planes, and the planes are flying very high, and they stay in orbit, and they're transmitting the signals. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, God. | |
| Lord. | ||
| And the world's flat. | ||
| This is a real problem, though. | ||
| I mean, because that's the extreme part of it. | ||
| Like, those people really believe that, and a majority of people do. | ||
| But, just basic thing, there is no truth. | ||
| The internet is devouring truth. | ||
| Sort of. | ||
| That you can literally have real intelligent people just talking about unemployment rates, just talking about the government, just talking about how the economy's doing. | ||
| And you can have people saying, it's been lowered to below 5% of unemployment, and other people are saying, no, that is completely wrong, inflating, these numbers are complete. | ||
| And these are two groups of intelligent people. | ||
| People with degrees and putting out these facts. | ||
| It's the same thing as the fish oil thing. | ||
| It's like, I can look up, any fact you want to bring up, you go on the internet and you'll find the opposite. | ||
| And not from, like, what looks like crazy people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The truth is, I mean, what is the truth anymore? | ||
| Well, I think right now what's happening is virtually anybody can start a website or a Twitter page or whatever and say anything they want. | ||
| They don't have to be correct. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But if they convince enough people, they'll get a following. | ||
| And then through that following, they can get a bunch of people that get confirmation bias and only look into the information that supports all this craziness. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like there's no satellites and the earth is flat, all that nonsense. | ||
| But I think this is almost like a temporary blip in our road to absorbing information. | ||
| I think right now information is coming from a bunch of different sources, a lot of them legit, most of them legit, but then some of them that are just really wacky like this, where it gets the sidetrack thing where people just start thinking about chemtrails or thinking about UFO abductions and getting absorbed in it. | ||
| But I think one of the next stages of disbursement of information is going to be direct brain-to-brain. | ||
| And I think we're going to share information in some way that is as alien to us as the internet would have been to people that lived 150 years ago. | ||
| Like, if you tried to explain Google to someone who lived 150 years ago, they'd be like, you're out of your fucking mind. | ||
| That is never going to happen, ever. | ||
| But to us, it's like, well, Google it, Jamie. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, it's like, it becomes normal, right? | ||
| Well, I think... | ||
| The next stage of that is you're going to be able to access information that directly comes from someone's mind and Meaning that you're going to be able to share thoughts I think thoughts are going to be they're going to figure out a way to take whatever frequency and whatever signal that a thought is and you're going to be able to condense it and project it and Send it to people and you're going to be able to access other people's thoughts and And you're going to be able to know what's truthful | ||
| and what's not. | ||
| It's not going to be a matter of, boy, I hope this guy's telling the truth. | ||
| You're going to be able to know pretty much instantaneously. | ||
| I think that's, whether it's 100 years from now or 200 years from now, but all in all, if you look at like... | ||
| The Roman Empire or, you know, look at like long periods of time where one group dominated one aspect of civilization. | ||
| A hundred years ain't shit. | ||
| But to us, a hundred years ago, 1916, it's like, might as well be Mars. | ||
| They might as well be from another world, you know? | ||
| But then go back to your marriage thing of what your wife is thinking when she's having sex with you. | ||
| You're gonna know. | ||
| You're gonna know. | ||
| You're gonna see that. | ||
| And crazy people can send their thoughts just as easily as... | ||
| No, but you don't necessarily have to share in those thoughts. | ||
| But I just think that... | ||
| You'll be able... | ||
| Look, these are obviously science fiction notions right now, but I think that... | ||
| Look, when you send a text message to someone, or if you put out a tweet or a Facebook message, you're essentially condensing a thought into some sort of a digital representation of that thought, and then you use the right language, then you send it out there. | ||
| I think that what's going to happen is it's going to be direct thought to thought. | ||
| We're going to be able to interpret thoughts. | ||
| And then we're gonna be able to know whether or not someone is actually being honest or whether they're bullshitting. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That'll end our careers. | ||
| Well, that's what they say. | ||
| This is an extension of your brain. | ||
| This is my brain to this brain to your brain. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it makes sense that you're going to bridge that gap. | ||
| That is a bridge, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It's a bridge to minds and information and ideas. | ||
| It really is, in a lot of ways. | ||
| And I think this is just one step. | ||
| As technology exponentially grows... | ||
| We're not just going to accept typing things into a glass screen that'll eventually be send and then put it up there. | ||
| It's going to be more complex. | ||
| It's going to get better. | ||
| They're going to figure out new ways to integrate that technology into human bodies. | ||
| That's going to be really weird, like neural implants and things along those lines. | ||
| That's going to be really wild. | ||
| Because when they figured out, like, so you wear glasses, right? | ||
| One day they're going to say, listen, Tom, You don't have to wear glasses. | ||
| All we have to do is install one of these new internet neural apps, and once we do do that, you'll be able to see crystal clear. | ||
| There's a way that this neural app reworks the synapses and changes the way your eyeballs interpret the cones and rods, interpret the world around you, and you're going to be able to change it. | ||
| Yeah, but I think they look good. | ||
| Your glasses look awesome. | ||
| You look smarter. | ||
| No, it's true. | ||
| Why do you look smarter when you have glasses? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Everybody does. | ||
| Like chicks? | ||
| Chicks look way smarter. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know why that is. | ||
| Don't they though? | ||
| Depends on the glasses. | ||
| Dudes look like you, you know, like you can't see good. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Girls look smarter. | ||
| Girls look like glasses. | ||
| I don't assume that they have something wrong with their eyes. | ||
| I assume, oh, she's smart. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| She's clever. | ||
| But then Sarah Palin fucked all that up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She's silly. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| She had glasses. | ||
| Yeah, she's a moron. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She's as dumb as that bear. | ||
| No, but... | ||
| She's a Trump supporter. | ||
| She's a real Trump supporter. | ||
| You fucking Trump supporter. | ||
| You liberal piece of shit. | ||
| Do you think he's going to win? | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I talk to a lot of people who think it's an impossibility, but the further we go down the road, I think he's cunning and I think that it's a real possibility. | ||
| It's a real possibility, but you know what I think? | ||
| If I was a conspiracy theorist, but I'm not, I would say that what Donald Trump is doing is making us happy about Hillary Clinton being president. | ||
| Because it's the only way we're going to be happy about Hillary Clinton being president. | ||
| Hillary Clinton represents the establishment in about as clear a form as we've ever seen before. | ||
| Right. | ||
| No question. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, and you know, she's intelligent, and when she was... | ||
| Secretary of State, both sides liked her. | ||
| She was really positive reviews from everybody. | ||
| But you're right, it's exactly the same old, same old. | ||
| You ever talk about, or you ever read the Secret Service talk about guarding her? | ||
| No. | ||
| They think she's a sociopath. | ||
| They said she's, yeah, they said, first of all, she doesn't thank anyone. | ||
| And she doesn't talk to them. | ||
| They guard her 24-7, and she doesn't talk to them. | ||
| They say, there's a guy who was one of her secret, I mean, he might be a fucking idiot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, who knows? | ||
| He might be a moron. | ||
| This is one guy's report? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I think there's more than one. | ||
| But the reports were that there's something creepy about her. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, there's something creepy about everybody. | ||
| That's another problem with the idea that you're going to find one perfect person is so off the charts. | ||
| I mean, everybody's flawed. | ||
| Everybody's, you know, especially if you play that game for that long, you're going to be dirty. | ||
| You're going to be duplicitous. | ||
| But that's part of what you've got to be. | ||
| Yeah, that game. | ||
| It's a dark game. | ||
| It's a dark game. | ||
| Did you ever see the video of her talking about Gaddafi? | ||
| She's laughing. | ||
| We came, we conquered, he died. | ||
| Or came, we saw, he died. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, and she's laughing. | ||
| She's doing an interview, and off-camera, before they interview her, they're rolling the camera while they're talking to her. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And she's laughing about Gaddafi dying, and you're like... | ||
| Wait, what? | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Who's the person that we see that's all measured and calm? | ||
| Like, that's not you for real? | ||
| Is that an act? | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| She was like throwing her head back laughing. | ||
| Oh boy. | ||
| And this is like this really weird way. | ||
| Like, watch this. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Go all the way from the beginning. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We came. | |
| We saw. | ||
| He died. | ||
| Did it have anything to do with your visit? | ||
| No. | ||
| I'm sure it did. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| That's a little weird. | ||
| Well, it's not just weird. | ||
| It's strange. | ||
| What is the Hillary Clinton lying for 13 minutes straight? | ||
| What's that about? | ||
| Play that real quick. | ||
| But I think what you said is super important. | ||
| No one's perfect. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And not only that, this business. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's not looking at him. | |
| I believe That marriage is not just a bond, but a sacred bond between a man and a woman. | ||
| 2004. I have not supported same-sex marriage. | ||
| 2010. I supported civil partnerships and contractual relationships. | ||
| I support marriage for lesbian and gay couples. | ||
|
unidentified
|
2013. I support it personally and as a matter of policy and law. | |
| So you're saying your opinion on gay marriage changed, or you changed your mind. | ||
| You know, I really, I have to say, I think you are being very persistent, but you are playing with my words and playing with what is such an important issue. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm just trying to clarify so I can understand. | |
| No, I don't think you are trying to clarify. | ||
| I think you're trying to say that, you know, I used to be opposed and now I'm in favor and I did it for political reasons. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And that's just flat wrong. | |
| So let me just state what I feel like you are implying and repudiate it. | ||
| I have a strong record. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I have a great record. | |
| I have a commitment to this issue, and I am proud of what I've done and the progress we're making. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I'm saying, I'm sorry, I just want to clarify what I was saying. | |
| No, I was saying that you maybe really believed this all along, but, you know, believed in gay marriage all along, but felt for political reasons America wasn't ready yet and you couldn't say it. | ||
| That's what I was thinking. | ||
| No, that, no, that is not true. | ||
| It really is great how long you've supported gay marriage. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I could have supported it sooner. | ||
| Well, you did it pretty soon. | ||
| Could have been sooner. | ||
| Fair point. | ||
| Okay, I think we've seen enough. | ||
| But, you know, so... | ||
| That's just a liar. | ||
| No. | ||
| Really? | ||
| That's a liar. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| You're lying. | ||
| But who isn't lying? | ||
| To Terry Gross, she was lying. | ||
| Like, in that interview where she was saying that she always supported gay marriage. | ||
| That it wasn't for... | ||
| I think old people forget that there's the internet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They forget. | ||
| They forget that when they said something in 2003, there's a videotape of it. | ||
| You'd much rather hear her just say, yeah, I was against it. | ||
| I was against it because I didn't think America was ready for it. | ||
| Or that she changed her own mind. | ||
| Or I changed my mind. | ||
| Just say you changed your mind. | ||
| I hate the term flip-flopper. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because you can't evolve. | ||
| Everybody's a flip-flopper. | ||
| Right. | ||
| If you're not, then you're the same person you were when you were five. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| That's right. | ||
| Let me tell you where I stand on this Santa thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No, you're right. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I mean, at the end of the day, like, fuck, man. | ||
| But look at what you're... | ||
| So now look what we're faced with. | ||
| You're faced with... | ||
| That's the big thing on her is that she's a liar. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And Trump, who is... | ||
| The biggest liar. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| But he admits he's a liar. | ||
| But does he say he's a liar? | ||
| What has he lied about? | ||
| What's been proven that he's lied about? | ||
| I'm sure there's been something. | ||
| He goes back and forth on everything. | ||
| What about Mexicans? | ||
| He's pretty strong on that. | ||
| He's pretty strong on that, but then says that maybe that was just an idea. | ||
| Maybe that was just an idea. | ||
| Is that what he says recently? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe it was just an idea to put up the wall? | ||
| Yeah, that was the thing that he said in... | ||
| Well, now he's in the home stretch, right? | ||
| Or at least he's round in third. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's round in third. | ||
| Right. | ||
| More proof Donald Trump is a serial liar. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Tell you what, though, he's got a hot wife, so I don't know what to say. | ||
| Because I'm a piece of shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like all men, I'm a piece of shit. | |
| Who's that broad you're with? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think he won because his wife is hot. | |
| I wouldn't mind that dame in the White House, I'll tell you that right now. | ||
| And Hillary Clinton's built like a box. | ||
| Look, lying, to me, lying, politician and lying, what kind of a baby are you that you think that these people don't lie? | ||
| Tell me one president other than Jimmy Carter, perhaps. | ||
| That isn't a liar. | ||
| I don't think Obama is a liar. | ||
| I don't think Obama's a liar. | ||
| I do not think he's a liar. | ||
| I think that he has changed his position on some things, and I think that he said some things before he got into office that he wasn't really supporting, or he didn't really support once he got in there, but I think he is a remarkable person in that, as far as guys that have ever run for president or been president, I like listening to him talk, and I like his personality more than I think anybody that's ever run for president or been president. | ||
| People get mad at me for saying that. | ||
| Obama, what about what he's done about free speech? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Obama, what about what he did about whistleblowers? | |
| I get it. | ||
| Yes, yes, you're right. | ||
| Not perfect. | ||
| Not even what I'm looking for. | ||
| He's not what I'm looking for. | ||
| But out of all the other people that have done it, I'm like, man. | ||
| Thoughtful. | ||
| Remarkably thoughtful and measured. | ||
| Thoughtful. | ||
| His speech, he just gave it at Howard University. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Was it? | ||
| I didn't listen to it. | ||
| Nobody speaks with such clarity. | ||
| I don't understand the rage. | ||
| I really don't understand the anger and the rage. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, first of all, we don't have a black man running this fair nation, especially when it's a Muslim who was born in Kenya. | |
| Can you understand that? | ||
| You're about to go to Kenya. | ||
| I guess those people are just louder than other people. | ||
| You're about to go to Africa. | ||
| Why don't you go look where he was born? | ||
| You'll know once you get there. | ||
| This is the spot. | ||
| This is Buck. | ||
| We're going to miss him. | ||
| I'm telling you, when he drifts off and we're left with one of these guys, it's going to be like, wow, remember when someone was at the helm who was just at least calm and had perspective? | ||
| That's the thing about Trump that makes me the most nervous is just knee-jerk reactions, just knee-jerk reactions which can have real consequences that we saw not too long ago with other presidents. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Trump was a birther. | ||
| Remember? | ||
| He was the birther. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Another lie. | ||
| Another calculated lie. | ||
| You don't tell me he believed that. | ||
| You don't think he believed it? | ||
| No. | ||
| Why was he saying it? | ||
| Because he was taking him down. | ||
| He was using it. | ||
| It caught. | ||
| It caught fire. | ||
| But why was he taking Obama down? | ||
|
unidentified
|
This guy just says shit. | |
| What was the whole point behind that? | ||
| For where he is now. | ||
| You think like he was thinking even back then when he was being a birther, he was thinking that he was gonna be president? | ||
| Yeah, he ran before this. | ||
| He did? | ||
| Never caught. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't remember that, did he? | ||
| Yeah, he declared that he was gonna go and it never really caught. | ||
| He would always come out and at least flirt with the idea. | ||
| And that's what kind of puzzled me with this one. | ||
| It was like, oh, he's just doing it again. | ||
| He's getting some PR. Here's the presidential campaign. | ||
| He's attaching himself to it. | ||
| And then this time it went further. | ||
| They tried pretty hard in 2000, I think. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow, that's so weird. | ||
| I forgot about that. | ||
| I blocked it out. | ||
| No, duplicitous. | ||
| Oof. | ||
| Say whatever you can. | ||
| The thing about him that really scares me is that he's the kind of guy that takes the bait. | ||
| He's very sensitive and takes the bait. | ||
| And whenever you're dealing with terrorism, I think this is the thing that Obama is doing more correctly. | ||
| Anything that happens, he doesn't just freak out and say, we've got to act. | ||
| Because that's what they want. | ||
| These are small entities, and they do things to draw this big power in, and that's how they diminish your power. | ||
| And Obama's be cool. | ||
| He caught ship for saying, there's a lot of ways that we can die. | ||
| Terrorism is only one of them, and it's a small one of them. | ||
| Small way. | ||
| Don't take the bait. | ||
| Diminish their power by not reacting. | ||
| Trump is a guy in every aspect of life that reacts. | ||
| He's sensitive and freaks out and reacts. | ||
| And I don't want that kind of unsettled energy, that unsettled person, to be in charge. | ||
| That's going to create a frenetic way of being for the country. | ||
| That's what bothers me the most about him. | ||
| That's a really good point. | ||
| And I think also that the president, he represents a standard of behavior. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| When did we lose that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Say what you will about Reagan, Bush, LBJ. They carried themselves like adults. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They carried themselves where you, they demanded your respect. | ||
| Yeah, Obama talks shit. | ||
| I mean, Trump rather talk shit about people that don't support him, like for no reason. | ||
| Like one of the things he did when Ronda Rousey got knocked out. | ||
| He said, I'm happy she lost. | ||
| Not a good person. | ||
| Like he tweeted that. | ||
| That's like a teenage girl. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You want a teenage girl to be in control of the country? | ||
| A teenage girl who's like 70. Right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How old is he? | ||
| How old is Trump? | ||
| I'm going to put him at 65. I'm going to put him at 64. He erased it from the internet. | ||
| He's ageless. | ||
| Well, that's the other thing. | ||
| The way he talks... | ||
| 46 is when he was born. | ||
| 70 this year. | ||
| 70 this year. | ||
| So the way he attacks, the way he did with her, he goes after reporters. | ||
| Anyone that has any different view. | ||
| That worm. | ||
| Not a good person. | ||
| Sad. | ||
| Losing ratings. | ||
| Sad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you don't think a guy like that is going to try and do something about the press when he's in office? | ||
| Oh yeah, that's going to be spooky. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| It's going to be spooky because it's weird that he has the time to do these things while he's still a multi-billionaire running all these companies. | ||
| Reality TV star running for president. | ||
| 2000 campaign. | ||
| Chance I'll Run. | ||
| Millionaire considering reform party nomination. | ||
| That was in the millionaire days. | ||
| He wasn't even a billionaire back then. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was just a millionaire. | ||
| He was worth $100 million. | ||
| He was going to put out a $100 million campaign. | ||
| Oh, he was going to put together a $100 million campaign. | ||
| Just flirting with it, putting it out there. | ||
| So he's been thinking about it forever. | ||
| Forever. | ||
| And it always seemed to me like, this is a smart PR move. | ||
| That's him and Jesse Ventura. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The class act. | ||
| He released a book that year on January 1st about how to run the country? | ||
| Yeah, it's called. | ||
| It had a good title. | ||
| Jesse Ventura was talking about Tower 7 even before 9-11. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
9-11 was an inside job. | |
| Tower 7. The America We Deserve. | ||
| January. | ||
| Trump releasing a book, The America We Deserve. | ||
| Well, he's right. | ||
| This is The America We Deserve. | ||
| Yeah, no shit. | ||
| I just hope that what's going to happen is if he does get into office, we'll realize that We really do need to be smart about how we govern ourselves. | ||
| We really do need to consider it. | ||
| We really need to make some real steps to try to reform politics in this country. | ||
| And hopefully someone who is really a qualified leader, someone who's really smart and measured, is looking at this and is going, okay, I've got to step in. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| He's making me really miss Romney. | ||
| Mmm. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's making me miss Romney. | ||
| At least he was a measured, thoughtful person. | ||
| That's all. | ||
| I don't care what you think about Obamacare, what your religion is. | ||
| You don't worry about someone who thinks they're going to get their own planet when they die? | ||
| Well, maybe that part. | ||
| They get a planet. | ||
| Again, Joe, no one's perfect. | ||
| But you know what I mean? | ||
| Just someone who shows up and is respectful to other people. | ||
| Of course, yeah. | ||
| And carries himself. | ||
| Dignity. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're the guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're the guy. | ||
| But what Trump is doing is like exciting douchebags. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| There's a lot of douchebags out there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| And they didn't have anybody that represented them in government. | ||
| And then all of a sudden, he's got them fired up. | ||
| He's their guy. | ||
| Which was fine until now. | ||
| When other people who are not purportedly douchebags, who are intelligent people in the government and in the press and... | ||
| Business leaders who are coming over and saying, okay, now he's my guy. | ||
| Really? | ||
| So that's when it becomes dangerous. | ||
| That's when they lose sight of it and start rationalizing it and say, well, he's not Hillary, so I'm going to go with this guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's dangerous. | |
| Did you ever see the video of Ted Cruz, who's even more dangerous, by the way? | ||
| Ted Cruz is the most dangerous. | ||
| He scares the fuck out of me because he's so dumb. | ||
| What he represents is just fucking flatline thinking. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he is standing at this rally and there's a Trump supporter in front of him with sunglasses on. | ||
| Like, feet away from him. | ||
| Tell him, quit. | ||
| Drop out. | ||
| It's over. | ||
| I saw that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's just like, that is that kind of a supporter. | ||
| Like, that's a new kind of supporter. | ||
| The bully. | ||
| The really aggressive man who shows up with a sign, stands in front of you with sunglasses on. | ||
| Yeah, let's go. | ||
| And tells you, yeah, it's time to drop out. | ||
| Time to drop out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And he goes, what do you like about Trump, sir? | ||
| Everything. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| Like, he probably doesn't even know anything. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| That Trump is supporting. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| It's just bravado. | ||
| Well, it's just weird. | ||
| I mean, we have this culture that we're... | ||
| We're consuming nonsense all the time. | ||
| We're consuming nonsense in the form of transformers and sitcoms and TV shows. | ||
| We're constantly eating nonsense with very little substance. | ||
| And then this guy comes along who represents, for the first time, a guy who's like, we're going to make America great again, and throw your fists up in the air, and that kind of rhetoric. | ||
| And these guys just hop onto it. | ||
| And he's a familiar face from the nonsense. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Reality TV stuff. | ||
| He's a guy that you've listened to before. | ||
| So strange. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Scary. | ||
| It's a real telling thing of where we are with the media. | ||
| But how much power does the president actually have? | ||
| Will that highlight it once he gets into office? | ||
| Like, would Congress? | ||
| Yeah, because... | ||
| Look, Iraq, which is arguably one of the greatest mistakes in centuries, of just all the evidence of what's happening over there to those poor people. | ||
| That happens because that guy is in charge. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, yeah, there are real global consequences to who's ever in that office. | ||
| And he's bringing in, like, real political masterminds to try to organize his campaign from here on out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So I feel like he got to the dance. | ||
| He's essentially, they haven't made him the Republican nominee, but there's no one else. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| No one's stepping up. | ||
| So how would that happen? | ||
| Like, is there a possibility that he could not be the nominee? | ||
| Is there any way? | ||
| Not any longer. | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| Wow, that's so crazy. | ||
| The only curveball could be that... | ||
| Well, there's a couple curveballs. | ||
| There's many curveballs, but a third party... | ||
| A candidate could arise and say that they're going to go for it. | ||
| Another scary curveball is that it stays the way that it is, and Hillary gets past Bernie, and it's Hillary and Trump, and they start going to battle. | ||
| And then the Benghazi reports and everything that she's being investigated for, they're saying in the New York Times today that they're slowing down that process. | ||
| So that shit comes out about her on the eve of the election. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you manipulate that stuff. | ||
| Who's doing that? | ||
| Who's manipulating that? | ||
| The Republican House who's investigating. | ||
| So they're virtually guaranteeing that she... | ||
| It's almost like they have a bomb. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They're going to drop it at the proper time. | ||
| It's their one shot, right? | ||
| It's not just Benghazi. | ||
| It's also the email server. | ||
| Right. | ||
| The email and sending classified emails. | ||
| I had Mike Baker on, who's a former CIA operative, and he's pretty... | ||
| Blunt about it. | ||
| He said, look, if I did what she did, I'd be in jail. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He's like, we have top secret, secret, clearances, all those different levels for a reason. | ||
| Yeah, irresponsible. | ||
| And you can't just take information from those emails that are top secret and then just cut and paste and put them in emails that are going through a regular server. | ||
| You can't do it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And the fact that this guy in Romania, who's some hacker character, was like reading all her emails. | ||
| Like, What the fuck, man? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Crazy. | |
| Very scary. | ||
| So back to your original question, yeah, he could be your president. | ||
| I think he might be. | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| Did you see this got announced yesterday? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Take the Power Back? | ||
| Take the Power Back. | ||
| So all over LA yesterday, there was these posters were posted all around with this hashtag and prophetsofrage.com was the website to go to. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And there's just a countdown on this website that goes to June 1st, which... | ||
| I'm not 100% sure if that's the date of the RNC in Cleveland. | ||
| I think it is. | ||
| I think it's pretty close to it. | ||
| Either way, what has been announced, I think, has been coming out over the last 24 hours, is that members of Rage Against the Machine, Public Enemy, and Cypress Hill are getting back together, and they're going to start doing some political concerts, it seems like. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| In concert with the RNC. Against the RNC? I mean, that's what Rage Against the Machine was doing a long time ago. | ||
| See, but here's the thing. | ||
| If it's not the Republicans, then it's the Democrats? | ||
| And is Hillary Clinton much better? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Is she much better than him? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Just because of stability. | ||
| I mean, she's not perfect. | ||
| I'm not a Democrat or a Republican, but that man... | ||
| Is an irrational television star. | ||
| He's a bad guy. | ||
| You don't want that. | ||
| You don't want that. | ||
| She's not perfect, but there's stability and there's... | ||
| I just want calm up top. | ||
| Give me calm. | ||
| Give me people who have been there. | ||
| He's bringing in these real estate thugs from Atlantic City to be his advisor. | ||
| He's a nutbag. | ||
| Who goes on Twitter like a 12-year-old girl and starts getting in fights with people? | ||
| Not the President of the United States. | ||
| Entertaining, sure, but come on. | ||
| Well, now that he's sort of achieved the helm of the Republican Party, did you see that Megyn Kelly thing? | ||
| No, I didn't see it. | ||
| They did an interview recently. | ||
| Did they have a kiss in makeup? | ||
| She kissed his ass. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| By all means, by all accounts, she kissed his ass. | ||
| And they made it about the two of them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| They made it about their little relationship together, their interactions together. | ||
| But he's been shitting on her, calling her a hack forever. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| It's what he does. | ||
| Bully for who? | ||
| Megan Kelly, interview of Donald Trump, made it clear once again, the definition of bullying has expanded almost to the point of meaninglessness. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It kind of has. | ||
| Like, whenever someone, like, gets upset at someone, they're a bully. | ||
| Now it's a bully. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you have power, you're a bully. | ||
| He's the most scary to me when he gets calm like that and just starts talking like pretending to be a grown-up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Look at what it's saying here. | ||
| Almost exclusive. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| They didn't use the occasion to talk about politics or policy. | ||
| Instead, they talked almost exclusively in the aired version of the conversation about bullying. | ||
| What? | ||
| Most kids between the age of 6 and 16 have been bullied at some point in their lives. | ||
| Kelly told Trump. | ||
| She paused. | ||
| Were you ever bullied? | ||
| No, I wasn't, Trump replied. | ||
| But I have seen bullying, and bullying doesn't have to be as a child, just have to be as a child. | ||
| I mean, I know people are bullied when they're 55. It can happen when you're 45, Kelly replied. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| What about 44? | ||
| What about talking about opioids killing Americans? | ||
| How about talking about... | ||
| What about cigarettes? | ||
| How about talking about how you're going to take millions, 11 million people, and try and push them down to Mexico on day one? | ||
| Well, she was insinuating, I guess, that she at 45 was being bullied by Trump because of tweets. | ||
| But when someone... | ||
| He said he continued simply, it happens, we've got to get over it, fight back, do whatever you have to do. | ||
| But when someone criticizes you and then you criticize them... | ||
| And they're a national newscaster, and you're a national figure, too. | ||
| What's bullying? | ||
| Like, where is that bullying, and where is that someone who's insulting someone? | ||
| Is insulting someone bullying? | ||
| Is shitting on someone bullying? | ||
| Like, when does it... | ||
| Like, that word bullying, to me, is like a bigger person picking on a smaller person where the smaller person can't do anything. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But she clearly has a voice of her own. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And she clearly is a person of power and influence and she's on television. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm confused even who's bullying who in that scenario because she is powerful because she has the media. | ||
| He's powerful because he had the mic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, she's way more classy about it for sure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And her criticisms are fairly valid and it's all things that she believes need to be addressed. | ||
| So I don't think she's bullying him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But is he bullying her by insulting her? | ||
| Is that bullying or is it just insult? | ||
| Okay, look at this saying. | ||
| Let me ask you about that because most American parents are trying to raise their kids to not bully, to name-call, not tease, not taunt. | ||
| How can they effectively bring that message to the front-runner when the front-runner for the Republican nomination does all of those things? | ||
| He says, while I do it, really, you know, I've been saying during this whole campaign that I'm a counterpuncher. | ||
| You understand that. | ||
| I'm responding. | ||
| Now, I then respond times maybe 10. What? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I respond pretty strongly. | ||
| But in just about all cases, I've been responding to what they did to me. | ||
| So it's not a one-way street. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| This is his brilliance. | ||
| You're talking about all of this instead of... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| It's so crazy that she's essentially painting herself as a victim and wanting to talk to this guy who bullied her and wanting him to address the idea and concept of bullying. | ||
| And he's like, hey, I'm a counterpuncher. | ||
| Fuck with me, I'll fuck you back. | ||
| Well, his thing is you do come out and bully. | ||
| He beats the shit out of him and then is like, hey, Ted Cruz is a nice guy. | ||
| Oh, good. | ||
| He's been acting nice to me for a second. | ||
| Who do you think he's going to be his running mate? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| How about that fat guy from New Jersey? | ||
| He might go with... | ||
| The fat guy from New Jersey? | ||
| They've been hanging around together a lot. | ||
| He told the fat guy from New Jersey that he's going to be the guy in charge of his transition team to the White House. | ||
| Did you see the fat guy in New Jersey pouring M&Ms into his bag of M&Ms? | ||
| He had two bags of M&Ms. | ||
| He had a large bag of M&Ms and a small bag of M&Ms. | ||
| And he poured the large, the small bag into the large bag. | ||
| That fucking slob. | ||
| They've tried giving him a little bit of credit for that. | ||
| Like, this is the way that it's packaged and it's just a box of M&Ms with a small one inside. | ||
| Yeah, whatever. | ||
| He's gross. | ||
| He's a monster. | ||
| M&M eating monster. | ||
| I would think he probably goes with the governor of Arizona, the woman who was yelling at him. | ||
| Oh, Jan Brewer? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No fucking way. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| She's way too dumb. | ||
| She's scary, scary, scary dumb. | ||
| Have you ever seen her interrogated or interviewed? | ||
| Interviewed. | ||
| Where someone questions her and gives her a hard time? | ||
| I just see her yelling. | ||
| She just represents scared old people who live in Arizona. | ||
| You know, that's how they scooped her up. | ||
| Scare old people is, you know... | ||
| A good group to go for right now. | ||
| Tom Papa, you worried about the world? | ||
| You're a bright guy. | ||
| You're a thoughtful guy. | ||
| No, I'm pretty optimistic about the world, actually. | ||
| What's going to happen? | ||
| To the world? | ||
| With this whole election thing. | ||
| With this election thing? | ||
| Are we going to learn from this? | ||
| I don't know if we're going to learn from this. | ||
| I don't think we learned from the Bush era. | ||
| I don't think we've learned that much. | ||
| I think we're going through a little bit of a dark time where... | ||
| You know, people that make a lot of noise. | ||
| You have someone thoughtful, like Obama, who wants to just have people discuss. | ||
| And if people embraced and were able to debate with him rather than just block him, he wouldn't have won all of his things. | ||
| But the other side would have been more thoughtful as well, and we wouldn't be in the place we are now. | ||
| I think we're in this new media, this new way of digesting information that's very confusing to people, and some bad people are taking advantage of it. | ||
| But I think ultimately we're going to sift through and good people and good ideas will come to the forefront. | ||
| I don't know how, but I'm pretty optimistic that that's the way it goes. | ||
| Heavy evil ways tend to die off and go away. | ||
| So I'm pretty optimistic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A powerful message from Tom Papa. | |
| I hope you're right. | ||
| More piano, please. | ||
| I think people are nicer now than they've ever been before. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| And I think one of the things about it is bully discussion. | ||
| This discussion is an important discussion. | ||
| Bullying is a real problem. | ||
| And that discussion wouldn't be taking place 10 years ago, 20 years ago. | ||
| Nobody give a fuck about bullying. | ||
| Like, suck it up, bitch. | ||
| We all got bullied. | ||
| No, you're right. | ||
| I mean, pretty quickly that's happened, right? | ||
| I just can't believe he said he never got bullied. | ||
| How'd he never got bullied? | ||
| If you're the bully. | ||
| I guess, but he's always been the bully his whole life. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| He needs someone to bully him. | ||
| I bet if someone came out and bullied him, like one of them Koch brothers. | ||
| That'd be funny if someone showed up and was like, I used to bully him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You fucking pussy. | |
| You sucked my dick when you owed me a million. | ||
| We used to rub our balls on his face in sixth grade. | ||
| He would cry. | ||
| It was hilarious. | ||
| We'd fuck his hair up. | ||
| And then he starts tweeting back. | ||
| Sad! | ||
| Exclamation point. | ||
| Sad loser. | ||
| Smelly balls. | ||
| Your balls always smelled. | ||
|
unidentified
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Sad. | |
| No, but I'm pretty optimistic. | ||
| And you know what's interesting? | ||
| And I think... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm talking out of my ass. | ||
| We all are. | ||
| But I do feel like when you travel around and you do your shows and stuff... | ||
| The thing that's lost in all of this discussion is there's Americans. | ||
| There's just plain old Americans who don't say, I'm purely Republican and purely Democrat. | ||
| I'm just screw the other side at all costs. | ||
| There are just working people that are just Americans. | ||
| Like, what happened to America being the thing that we're all working towards and suss these people out for what's going to be better for our kids and for the country? | ||
| I feel like the internet is going to sift through this bullshit. | ||
| I mean, what we're seeing really with Trump in a way is kind of this implosion of that party because they let the crazy Tea Party right-wing part of it devour it, and now they're in chaos. | ||
| Maybe that's a sign that people that are extreme... | ||
| devour and devolve into something else. | ||
| Well, not only that, people were ganging up to try to stop Trump in the party. | ||
| Like Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz, they had like this pact. | ||
| They were going to like try to figure out a way to stop Trump from moving forward. | ||
| And Trump, in my eyes at least, if I'm looking at it, I think he's looking at this as like an accomplishment. | ||
| This is Mount Everest to climb, to become the president. | ||
| Whereas, I don't think he's looking at it in terms of really serving the United States people. | ||
| I don't think he's that guy. | ||
| I mean, that's not why he's so successful. | ||
| He's so successful because he represents his own shit. | ||
| He knows how to do it. | ||
| He gets it done. | ||
| He's an egocentric comic who doesn't have much of an act but becomes really successful because he believes in him so much. | ||
| I know who you're talking about. | ||
| Let's not talk about that guy. | ||
| There's a couple of them. | ||
| Be nice. | ||
| I could be listening right now. | ||
| When there's that narcissistic thing, you do become successful because you want it more than anyone wants you to go away. | ||
| Yeah, we certainly... | ||
| It can be done, right? | ||
| I mean, he's showing that he can get so close. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I just don't know if Hillary can beat him. | ||
| And Bernie's... | ||
| I know. | ||
| That's kind of the thing. | ||
| Do you like Bernie? | ||
| I like him as a character. | ||
| I followed him on Twitter just because he was independent when he was an independent. | ||
| He was just like this little rebel from Vermont and it just seemed like a cool... | ||
| I always loved Vermont and it seemed like this free-thinking area. | ||
| I liked him more of just following him that way. | ||
| His ideas of socialism and... | ||
| And I don't say that as a real, you know, democratic socialist is not a scary, like, mindless thing. | ||
| But I don't see him being that good of a leader. | ||
| I don't see him being... | ||
| He is pretty extreme. | ||
| He is pretty extreme. | ||
| I don't see him as a... | ||
| I loved him as like a senator from Vermont. | ||
| I kind of like the idea of trying someone extreme just so we can see what's wrong with it. | ||
| Well, that's the Trump thing. | ||
| That is the Trump thing. | ||
| I voted for Perot at one point. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, did you? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I did too. | ||
| I did too. | ||
| I just wanted this... | ||
| This guy was making some sense. | ||
| He's not perfect, but fuck. | ||
| Let's... | ||
| Let's throw the card table up in the air and see if there's a new game at the end of the day. | ||
| Do you remember when Perot had that ad on television where he took out an entire half hour of television and bought it? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And then explained why the IRS is fucking you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| I know. | ||
| I remember my jaw dropping, sitting on a watch that going, what? | ||
| I know. | ||
| It wasn't totally off base. | ||
| And that's why, honestly, that's why I get why people want Trump without even knowing that much of the issues. | ||
| It's like, let's rock this. | ||
| Let's blow this thing up. | ||
| The system's not serving me. | ||
| We need one of us in there, boys! | ||
| Here it is, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| What is he saying? | ||
| Crank it up there. | ||
| And maybe now's the time for me to wave the voodoo stick and get rid of the hex. | ||
|
unidentified
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But it'll take a lot more than that. | |
| It'll take millions of you showing up on November the 3rd to get rid of this hex. | ||
| Keep in mind, the value of the dollar is going down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The number of people making less than $12,000 is going up. | |
| I don't want to bore you with this statement, but trickle down didn't trickle. | ||
| It just didn't work. | ||
|
unidentified
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We have 19th century capitalism in this country. | |
| Our successful international competitors are practicing modern day capitalism. | ||
| We need to practice 21st century capitalism. | ||
| We need an intelligent, supportive relationship between government and business. | ||
|
unidentified
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We need long-term thinking. | |
| We need to target the industries of the future and make sure they are here and the words made in the USA are written across them. | ||
| We need to have the most rapidly growing small business society in the world because we can create more jobs more quickly there. | ||
| All of this can be done. | ||
| You know what they did with him? | ||
| They kidnapped his daughter. | ||
| They did? | ||
| They threatened to. | ||
| Who did? | ||
| Some fucking bad people. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, he dropped out. | ||
| Remember when he was running for president, he dropped out and then re-entered back in late in the race, and it was too late. | ||
| I don't remember that. | ||
| But he dropped out based on credible threats. | ||
| To the security of his family. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Those are the days where they could just scoop your kids up. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| You know, back in the 80s, they could get away with something like that. | ||
| They could actually pull it off. | ||
| Was it the 80s or was it the 90s back then? | ||
| That was 90. I think he ran in 90. But anything pre-internet. | ||
| That was Bush Clinton. | ||
| Let's see what it is here, Jamie. | ||
| 1992 campaign. | ||
| Perot says he quit in July to thwart GOP dirty tricks. | ||
| Decision to lie to man up a campaign. | ||
| He said he had withdrawn hearing President Bush's campaign was scheming to smear his daughter with a computer-altered photograph and to disrupt her wedding. | ||
| Mr. Perot offered no evidence, but I thought he was also worried about kidnapping. | ||
| Can't prove any of it today, he said on tonight's CBS News program, 60 Minutes. | ||
| But it was a risk, a risk I did not have to take. | ||
| Where my daughter's concerned. | ||
| And a risk I would not take where my daughter's concerned. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| Who knows, man? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it scared him. | ||
| And he was a tough guy. | ||
| He's still alive, I think. | ||
| We need a Perot-type character. | ||
| Is Richard Branson American? | ||
| No. | ||
| Damn it. | ||
| But Trump has a little of that, right? | ||
| Trump is saying, why are we sending these jobs over here? | ||
| Right? | ||
| So he's garnering up some of that. | ||
|
unidentified
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What if it works? | |
| What if he gets in and he actually does a good job? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What if he gets in and just says everyone, suck his dick. | ||
| Shut up. | ||
| Fuck off. | ||
| Congress, you're fired. | ||
| Everyone's fired. | ||
| Well, that's kind of, that's why the Republican establishment doesn't like him. | ||
| It's not that he's reckless, it's that he's... | ||
| He's rich. | ||
| And he also holds views in the past that we're more left than right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know. | ||
| True. | ||
| He's a complex dude. | ||
| He is a complex dude. | ||
| Who farted? | ||
| Me. | ||
| It smells like bear. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's not that bad. | |
| Tom Papa, where are you next, man? | ||
| Where can people see you? | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| I am going to Levity Live in Nyack. | ||
| Oh, that's a good one. | ||
| Nyack, New York. | ||
| I'm going there soon. | ||
| I hear good things. | ||
| Yeah, it's a good club. | ||
| It's a good spot. | ||
| And I'm shooting my special in the end of June, it looks like. | ||
| Who are you doing it for? | ||
| Epix, Hulu, and Amazon. | ||
| Excellent. | ||
| I like how Amazon's getting into things the same way Netflix is. | ||
| They have their own original programming. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's cool, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The show that I'm... | ||
| I write on this show called Red Oaks, which is an Amazon show that Paul Reiser's in. | ||
| Red Oaks. | ||
| I haven't even heard of it. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| Is it brand new? | ||
| One season's out. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And we're shooting the next season. | ||
| There's so much content today. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I'm going to shoot... | ||
| I'm going to do a role in it, too, in a couple weeks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nice. | |
| And... | ||
| Yeah, it's on Amazon. | ||
| You'd like it. | ||
| It's all about a country club in the 80s. | ||
| It's just like an 80s Caddyshack kind of a show. | ||
| And Paul Reiser's in it, and Richard Kind, and really funny. | ||
| You know, the Amazon has the new version of Top Gear. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| The one with Adam on it? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| With Jeremy Clarkson and Richard May and James Hammond. | ||
| The original crew of Top Gear. | ||
| Do you know the whole story behind that? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| The guy punched one of the producers. | ||
| They fired him. | ||
| Jeremy Clarkson did. | ||
| The guy's pretty great. | ||
| Yeah, he's awesome. | ||
| So they got back together? | ||
| Yeah, him and the producer, like, get along fine. | ||
| They just, you know, they had to blow up and do what the English would call. | ||
| They had a bit of a row. | ||
| A bit of a row. | ||
| Knocked him out. | ||
| You know, probably. | ||
| You're going to have to be fired now. | ||
| Yeah, and something happened. | ||
| They fired him. | ||
| The other two guys were like, we're with you, dude. | ||
| We're not going anywhere. | ||
| And so they recast Top Gear. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And now Top Gear in the UK has like five new hosts. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it's one of them being my friend Richard Harris, who's amazing. | ||
| Or Chris Harris. | ||
| He's really my friend. | ||
| I should actually know his name. | ||
| It's a good show. | ||
| I think of Richard Hammond, Chris Harris. | ||
| There's so many fucking English people. | ||
| But Chris Harris is my favorite British car, one of my favorite journalists, period. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Car journalist. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| He's awesome at it. | ||
| And he's one of the new Top Gear guys. | ||
| Chris Harris. | ||
| Chris Harris. | ||
| But Richard Hammond and James May and Jeremy Clarkson are the original Dream Team. | ||
| Those guys together were... | ||
| They were great. | ||
| The show was the most popular show in the whole world. | ||
| They were awesome. | ||
| The world. | ||
| The whole world. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Amazing. | |
| And when it got canceled, they moved over to Amazon. | ||
| So they had to wait a certain amount of time. | ||
| I think it's been over a year. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And now they're going to do it on Amazon. | ||
| Wow, that's great. | ||
| It'll boost Amazon, for sure. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| And maybe it'll boost Tom Papa. | ||
| Yeah, maybe my little special will be good. | ||
| And I'm still cranking out my podcast, my Come to Papa podcast. | ||
| It's a little endeavor. | ||
| And... | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Do you have a little studio set up at your place? | ||
| I just have like this little H4 recorder. | ||
| You just bring it places? | ||
| I just have it. | ||
| No, I do it. | ||
| Well, I do the SiriusXM show. | ||
| And I do that in the studio. | ||
| What channel do you do that on? | ||
| On Raw Dog. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| I've been doing that for a long time. | ||
| Then I do these live Come to Papa shows, which are like a Prairie Home Companion. | ||
| You should do it sometime. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I would love to. | |
| It's like scripted old classic radio. | ||
| We do sketch stuff you just read on stage and then some comedians do a set. | ||
| You do it in the audience? | ||
| We do it at Largo and then we do it in Village Underground. | ||
| And you have comics do actual stand-up? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They do their act on your podcast? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why would anybody do that though? | ||
| Because then it releases their material. | ||
| Ah, who hears it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who's listening? | |
| What kind of fucking podcast is this? | ||
| How many people are listening? | ||
| Well, you know, they do older material or they just try stuff out. | ||
| It's only like a five minute set. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Aren't you beyond being so precious with your material? | ||
| Being so precious? | ||
| Yeah, like people hear it. | ||
| I don't care where I do my act at this point. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People want to hear it all the time. | ||
| So people are sitting in front of you with a camera just pointing at you while you're on stage? | ||
| Doesn't weird you out if you're working on some new shit? | ||
| It weirds me out, but I don't care. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Tom Pop, you're so relaxed. | ||
| No, but why? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's your key? | |
| What's the key? | ||
| Regular foot massages? | ||
| What do you do that keeps you so calm? | ||
| Really, I kind of stopped worrying about that stuff. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| Because, I mean, everything's everywhere. | ||
| Everything's everywhere. | ||
| So I'm going to put this special out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| The day it comes out, kids are going to rip it, put it around for free. | ||
| Hopefully. | ||
| Yeah, hopefully. | ||
| Right? | ||
| So you actually want people to steal your stuff. | ||
| In some ways... | ||
| So, like, if you had a show at the Ice House, and they're like, they're going to record it, I would just shift my thinking, like, alright, so I'm not going to do that one bit, I'll do this other bit, or whatever, you know. | ||
| The point is, people can see it all the time everywhere, so, who cares if it's on a podcast? | ||
| I guess you could look at it that way. | ||
| I always look at it like, when you see it live, leading up to the filming of a special, it's a work in progress. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And if you see it, it's like, you could read spoiler alerts about Game of Thrones online if you want to. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| But it'll kind of fuck up the story for you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So if you see bits that are a work in progress like six months ago, And then you see him again. | ||
| You get to see the work that's been done. | ||
| So you could look at it that way. | ||
| I see the progress and it's kind of cool as a fan of comedy to watch that. | ||
| I like watching other people work stuff out. | ||
| I like Tony Hinchcliffe has this new bit. | ||
| I don't want to give away the premise. | ||
| But I've been watching this bit grow and he comes off and he's super pumped. | ||
| Dude, did you see the new version? | ||
| I'm like, I love it. | ||
| I love that new thing. | ||
| And we start talking about it. | ||
| But I'm a comedy geek. | ||
| I like the process itself. | ||
| Whereas some people just want to see the actual bit when it's done. | ||
| But that's how I feel. | ||
| The comedy geeks will notice me do my bit on the podcast and then see it in my special. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But the regular fans, they're just going to see the special. | ||
| I see what you're saying. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I just feel like it's our job now, the way that people can digest material, it's our job to crank stuff out. | ||
| And be making stuff. | ||
| Doing podcasts and doing your material and writing books and just crank and create and put it out there. | ||
| So if you see my raw set at Largo, that's what I put out today. | ||
| And if I'm going to do my special or I'm going to do a thing in Red Oaks, that's that thing. | ||
| So it's just all output from the Papa compound. | ||
| The Papa compound, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Tom Papa, folks! | ||
|
unidentified
|
So great. | |
| It was fun, man. | ||
| I enjoyed it. | ||
| Nice watching you eat bread. | ||
| I never thought anybody would ever say that. |
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