May 17, 2016 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:27:49
Participants
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| We're live. | ||
| Bobcat Goldthwait, what the fuck you doing going to a Bigfoot convention and then a Mothman convention? | ||
| No, not a Mothman convention. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're a smart guy. | |
| You're a grown man. | ||
| I just went to see where the Mothman was, or had been. | ||
| Oh, there wasn't a Mothman convention? | ||
| No, because I was at the Ohio Bigfoot Conference, which was less than two hours away from Point Pleasant, West Virginia, where the Mothman appeared. | ||
| And when I was talking with some of the, you know, Bigfoot researchers, I said... | ||
| Do you do that with air quotes when you say that? | ||
| The researchers, I was talking to them and I said, hey, you know, we're really close to where the Mothman was. | ||
| And they're like, well, the Mothman is not real. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So... | |
| Do they know how silly that is? | ||
| No. | ||
| Well, some did. | ||
| You know, that's the thing. | ||
| There's different categories of Bigfoot people. | ||
| There's people who are self-aware. | ||
| There's people who seem pretty regular. | ||
| You know, that's the thing. | ||
| You go to this convention, and you have this idea of what a person is who believes that there's an 800-pound wood ape out there. | ||
| And then when you get to know him, you realize that... | ||
| They're really fucking weird. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No, I'm kidding. | ||
| But there is that. | ||
| There's a lot of that. | ||
| There's a lot of that. | ||
| But I have to say, I love them. | ||
| I had a great time. | ||
| And it was really fun. | ||
| It was great. | ||
| I've had some people that I talked to. | ||
| What was the professor from... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Meldrum? | |
| Yes. | ||
| Professor Meldrum, who's a really interesting guy. | ||
| Sure, sure. | ||
| Do you know who he is? | ||
| He's a pretty prominent guy in the Bigfoot community who's a very rational, reasonable person. | ||
| And he told me he would cut his pinky off to know the truth. | ||
| Whole pinky. | ||
| And you said, you know what? | ||
| I can do it. | ||
| I'll do it with an arrow. | ||
| I'm more fascinated about, I mean, I'm sure your listeners are more over it, but about you going out and hunting a bear with an animal. | ||
| Eating them is really interesting. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| They're good. | ||
| They taste really good. | ||
| The way I describe it is like a deer fucked a pig. | ||
| It's kind of almost... | ||
| That's taking the Tofurky to a new level. | ||
| But I... You know, my brother... | ||
| He passed away. | ||
| My brother was a... | ||
| I'm going to say a hunter, but he was actually a poacher. | ||
| My brother... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| When he passed away, people said, Hey, can I have your dough permit? | ||
| And I was like... | ||
| What? | ||
| My brother had been getting a doper mitt in my name for like 20 years. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, he had all these forged doper mitts. | ||
| He shot animals all year long. | ||
| The game warden would bust into his home with lock cutters and crack open his freezer and there'd be all this game out of season. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, man. | |
| Yeah, but you know he ate it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But he, yeah. | ||
| Just didn't abide by the rules. | ||
| Well, no. | ||
| No, he did not abide by anyone's rules. | ||
| His funeral was awesome and eclectic, but there's two things. | ||
| Someone should have given me a heads up. | ||
| Well, first of all, a couple of the pallbearers were in camo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| So you were like a serious hunter. | ||
| Oh, hunter, biker. | ||
| Where'd he live? | ||
| Central New York in Syracuse, and then Rome and around. | ||
| I love my brother, but he was wild. | ||
| And then the other thing, they probably should have given me a heads up that his friend, little Ricky, was one of the pallbearers. | ||
| Yeah, he was... | ||
| I don't want to use the word. | ||
| I was going to say he was like a munchkin. | ||
| Good save. | ||
| I didn't want to use the other M word. | ||
| I mean, he wasn't... | ||
| He was a tiny person. | ||
| He was a little person. | ||
| He wasn't a dwarf. | ||
| He was regular size. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| He was tiny. | ||
| But he didn't look... | ||
| You know what I mean. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| But nobody said Ricky was going to be a pallbearer. | ||
| Or give me a heads up. | ||
| So I looked down the end of the church... | ||
| He's in the middle on one side of the casket. | ||
| In the middle? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I said to my daughter, I go, looks like Ricky's riding a subway. | ||
| And my daughter's like, I think he just got air. | ||
| And so the priest is going on about how my brother Tommy loved the outdoors and he loved animals. | ||
| And then I went on after the priest. | ||
| I go, Father, I don't want to be impolite, but my brother liked to kill animals. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's a lot of deer right now in the woods going, "Whew!" "Whew!" "Whew!" "Whew!" Upstate New York is a very deer-rich place. | |
| People don't have a lot of tolerance to those animals. | ||
| A lot of car accidents. | ||
| Well, there's a lot, and there's more now than when I was a kid. | ||
| You know Tony V, Boston Canadian? | ||
| I went out to visit my brother. | ||
| I'd given him some money to buy some windows for his house. | ||
| It's a long story. | ||
| But this is when he's really out in the woods. | ||
| And we pull up to his yard, and there's just... | ||
| There's just corn growing. | ||
| There's no rose. | ||
| It's this whole front and backyard of corn. | ||
| There's like psycho corn. | ||
| There's no rose or anything. | ||
| And Tony didn't know my brother. | ||
| And he comes out and he goes, hey, what's up with the corn? | ||
| He's like, it's for the deer, Bobby. | ||
| And Tony's like, oh, you helping through the winter? | ||
| He's like, no, I'm going to blast them. | ||
| So my brother... | ||
| He just beat his house. | ||
| Oh, that's so fucked up. | ||
| And I go, I'm in the bathroom, and the new window is cracked. | ||
| And I go, Tommy, what happened to this new window? | ||
| He goes, yeah, Bob, you had a little problem with recoil. | ||
| So my brother would sit on the toilet and shoot deer. | ||
| Swear to God. | ||
| Swear to God. | ||
| I'm sure he was probably burning one, too. | ||
| Shooting out the window? | ||
| Yeah, taking a shit. | ||
| Yeah, taking a shit. | ||
| You want to go hunting? | ||
| Yeah, meet me in the kitchen. | ||
| And then one time, him and his friends got really high, and they just turned this station wagon into a convertible with their Heliar torches, and then they used that. | ||
| That was their hunting mobile? | ||
| Yeah, that was their cone car. | ||
| They drove around the fucking station wagon! | ||
| And shoot out of it. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Oh, so I've read this part of the story. | ||
| No. | ||
| So Tony V's going, your brother's certified, but he's never been around my brother. | ||
| So he goes, so Tony and I get back in the car, and we're heading to the car, and Tony sees this woodchuck across the street, and Tony goes, what is that? | ||
| And my brother goes, it's a chucky, it's a woodchuck. | ||
| And then we're not even down the end of the driveway, and we're, blam! | ||
|
unidentified
|
And Tony's going, I just fingered that woodchuck. | |
| I go, yeah, man, that woodchuck's dead. | ||
| You dropped a dime on that woodchuck. | ||
| You fingered that woodchuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That woodchuck, his family's gonna go, Papa? | |
| Papa? | ||
| Coming to the door? | ||
| Yeah, my brother, you know, God rest his soul. | ||
| He was a wild man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A wild man. | |
| What did he do for a living? | ||
| He was a sheet metal worker and he rode bikes for a long time. | ||
| Our home when I was a kid was the movie Mask. | ||
| It was just always bikes and motor clubs would come over the house and keg parties and stuff like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It helped me to go to the Bigfoot conference. | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, yeah. | |
| So that's what I grew up with. | ||
| You know, guys named like Lowlife and all these guys. | ||
| And my mother was great because they would come in, you know. | ||
| My mother was sweet because she would only know their, you know. | ||
| The biker names? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Hello, shithead. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Lowlife showed up with a shirt that said, Harley's the best, fuck the rest. | ||
| He's like, Lowlife, not in my house. | ||
| Sorry, Mrs. G. And they had to turn the shirt on. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| So I grew up with bikers, and it wasn't until later on I realized, oh, you know, some bikers aren't rad. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like... | |
| You know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I see. | |
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, I saw him. | ||
| I'd go, hey, how are you? | ||
| Like, they were nice guys. | ||
| So you associated bikers... | ||
| To me, they were always nice, yeah. | ||
| ...with being, like, cool, fun guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And my brother had a lot of clout in that world. | ||
| So, yeah, so everyone was cool. | ||
| But then later on, I was like, oh, some of these guys aren't so awesome. | ||
| But... | ||
| So basically, bikers are like bears at the dump. | ||
| Like, they look cool, but stay in the car. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Or in your case. | ||
| I had an idea that I forgot. | ||
| And you're not going to go with it, but it reminded me of... | ||
| I was... | ||
| Because I was reading people's tweets and they were asking what am I up to next, you know, for the next movie. | ||
| But there was a movie I wrote that I even thought of you, but I know you don't act and everything. | ||
| It kind of came up on it. | ||
| Yeah, you won't do it. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| You won't do it. | ||
| I won't do it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's about an alcoholic clown? | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| No, it's a gay Billy Jack movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because I love Billy Jack. | |
| Come on, man. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| This would be perfect for you. | ||
| Do I have to fuck anybody? | ||
| Well, it's implied. | ||
| It's implied. | ||
| Well, it's all tasteful. | ||
| But it's like from the guy who shot a baby on camera in a movie. | ||
| It's all tasteful. | ||
| No, it's... | ||
| I was married at the time, and I said to my wife, I go, I'm tired of being broke. | ||
| I'm going to write a genre picture. | ||
| I loved Billy Jack movies when I was a kid. | ||
| So I started writing it. | ||
| I was about 40 pages in, and she's like, how's it going? | ||
| I'm like, well, he's gay now. | ||
| And she goes, so I'm just going to keep renting? | ||
| We're not going to get a home? | ||
| I go, yeah, pretty much. | ||
| And I was talking to Gus Van Zandt. | ||
| I said, I want to write an action film. | ||
| Like if you were a 13-year-old gay boy, it would be the coolest movie you saw besides the 300. So it's just classic Billy Jack. | ||
| He goes into the bar and he's trying to have a drink, Redneck Town. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he's like, hey, Fag, I'm going to have to ask you to stop using that word. | |
| He's like, what are you going to do? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, I'm going to shatter his kneecap. | |
| Oh, Billy Jack style. | ||
| Yeah, the whole thing. | ||
| And I'm going to shatter your windpipe. | ||
| You know, it goes through the whole list. | ||
| And you want to know something? | ||
| There's not a goddamn thing you can do about it. | ||
| And then it says, and he does. | ||
| And then he goes back, he kicks ass, goes back to the bar, finishes that drink that he was trying to drink and puts it down. | ||
| And he says to the bartender, is there a decent place for a man to stay in this town? | ||
| And then it cuts and he's in bed with that dude. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Come on, Joe! | ||
| Come on, Joe! | ||
| I didn't even get done moaning. | ||
| Come on! | ||
| Come on! | ||
| Reinvent! | ||
| Well, I mean, look at Brokeback Mountain. | ||
| I mean, it was essentially like a cowboy romance movie with a twist. | ||
| I mean, it had all the elements of a regular cowboy romance. | ||
| Yeah, and I wanted this to be, to me, the political... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it was Billy Jack. | |
| Yeah, right? | ||
| It was his triumph. | ||
| I didn't even know he had a triumph. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I was thinking about... | ||
| Do you remember... | ||
| Like Jay Leno. | ||
| Do you remember that? | ||
| That's a jacket Jay Leno would wear. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When I say what you do to this beautiful flower, it makes me want to go nuts! | |
| Two Jews walking to a bar. | ||
| They buy it! | ||
| But I wanted him to have the bike that... | ||
| Do you remember Then Came Bronson? | ||
| You're younger than me. | ||
| Then Came Bronson. | ||
| Yeah, he was badass. | ||
| He was kind of the forerunner to Billy Jack. | ||
| It was a TV show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There you go. | |
| He was a reporter that got fed up, and then he just drove around and... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, and kicked ass. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who is this? | |
| See, I'm gonna have the triangle, but it's not gonna be the... | ||
| Yeah, it's not gonna be that. | ||
| That's a sweet bike. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| Isn't that rad? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| But I'm just gonna have a pink triangle. | ||
| But he's got the Illuminati on his bike. | ||
| I know, he's got the Illuminati. | ||
| I'm just gonna have a pink triangle instead of the Illuminati. | ||
| Fucking Illuminati. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But he was bad. | ||
| My brother was really into Kim Branson. | ||
| I love motorcycles. | ||
| I'm just scared of crashing. | ||
| Yeah, well, you can't... | ||
| Well, I mean, you can't have them here, but it's... | ||
| But it's so dangerous. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, I know. | ||
| If I lived somewhere, like, real quiet, I would seriously consider getting one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think it would be awesome. | ||
| And that's, like, yeah, and growing up in Central New York, you could do that, but not here... | ||
| Or my daughter wouldn't allow me to do that. | ||
| She would... | ||
| She just made it really clear. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're just so much fun, but it's just... | ||
| It doesn't seem worth... | ||
|
unidentified
|
The risk. | |
| Yeah, it's bad here. | ||
| So you had a maniac brother. | ||
| So that's a lot of people's perception of hunters. | ||
| Is that hunters are crazy people? | ||
| Well, my brother was just outside. | ||
| There are a lot of people like that, though, that are hunters. | ||
| That's one of the things that hunters want to deny. | ||
| But my brother... | ||
| Also still had his ethics like he ate what he killed and he sold I mean, he you know, he was a trapper He just didn't like the man. | ||
| Yeah, I get it. | ||
| There was one time where he was eluding the warden and It's just It's just all the story so they took off on a lake which wasn't thought So they lost their car. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh no. | |
| They drove on a lake that wasn't thawed? | ||
| He once took acid and went fishing in the swan pond because they had these big carp in there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So he was tripping balls fishing. | |
| It was like a public pond or something like that? | ||
| Oh yeah, it's like where you'd go take your family. | ||
| Throw bread out for the carp. | ||
| Yeah, I remember once Oh, what was that guy's name? | ||
| Big Mitch. | ||
| I went to an Allman Brothers concert when I was like 12. Whoa. | ||
| And Mitch had been to Nam, and he was tripping, and he was totally... | ||
| He was seeing Charlie in the parking lot while he's driving the car. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, Jesus Christ. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So that was my upbringing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| So we got on this from Hunters. | ||
| Yeah, but there is a... | ||
| You know, it's funny. | ||
| I'm vegan, but I have more respect for people that actually kill the animal. | ||
| Would you eat eggs? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I'm not anymore. | ||
| I mean, I did for a long time. | ||
| But I'm not, like, opposed to other people doing it. | ||
| And I actually... | ||
| I'm not trying to kiss your ass. | ||
| I have respect for people that kill it because then they're not removed from it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| There's this weird thing when you just... | ||
| You know, that's the weird part to me. | ||
| Well, it's dark, because you don't know where it came from, so that sort of, it reduces your responsibility, and you don't really have to look into where the meat came from, and then that's where factory farming comes from, because we're sort of ignorant to... | ||
| And I grew up eating game, you know, venison, and there's seven people in the family. | ||
| Why wouldn't you eat eggs? | ||
| Because you don't like the idea of chickens in captivity, or you don't want them for health reasons? | ||
| I just stopped eating them. | ||
| I had a heart attack a little bit a while ago. | ||
| It's funny, when I got off of that stuff, my heart's in great shape. | ||
| Which, when I had the heart attack, I knew I wasn't dying. | ||
| It just recently dawned on me. | ||
| I was thinking about it. | ||
| My thoughts weren't like, oh, I'm going to die. | ||
| My thought was, I'm going to have to lose weight. | ||
| I was really angry. | ||
| I'm going to have to work out. | ||
| I was furious over that idea. | ||
| That's fine. | ||
| I've been talking about this on stage, but it's true. | ||
| After a few weeks of walking an hour after dinner, I was like, I don't care. | ||
| But a cat was missing in the neighborhood. | ||
| And that would motivate me to walk. | ||
| Oh, to look for the cat? | ||
| I was going to find it. | ||
| But there's no missing cats. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| It's coyotes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But I found a cat that I thought was the cat. | |
| And then I carried it about... | ||
| Maybe a quarter of a mile back to the telephone pole. | ||
| It was the wrong cat? | ||
| Yeah, and I stole a cat. | ||
| Did you bring it back? | ||
| Yeah, I love animals. | ||
| So I brought it to the house where I thought it lived at, and then I knock on this woman's door, and I did. | ||
| And then she opened the door, and the cat ran in. | ||
| I swear to God, and then the woman goes, she looks left and right, she goes, and goes in like, I guess the cat's knocking on the door now. | ||
| How bizarre. | ||
| She didn't know you were there? | ||
| No, because I didn't want to go, hey, I think I stole your cat. | ||
| So she just thought the fucking cat knocked on the door? | ||
| I call bullshit because they have furry little knuckles. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| She wouldn't hear it. | ||
| Well, when I let my cat out, he will meow. | ||
| Because I don't let him out for long periods of time, but I'll let him out during the day if he wants to wander around the yard, because he'll just hang around the yard. | ||
| But I worry about hawks. | ||
| Hawks or rebels at night. | ||
| We have coyotes in my backyard, and I live in Silver Lake. | ||
| Yeah, coyotes are everywhere. | ||
| They're all throughout the entire 50 states. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you're interested in the history of the coyote, there's an amazing podcast called Meat Eater. | ||
| It's by this guy, Steve Rinella. | ||
| And he interviews this guy, Dan Flores, who's a historian, a wildlife historian. | ||
| He's a professor. | ||
| And he wrote a book recently on coyotes. | ||
| Coyotes were originally only Western animals. | ||
| And they used to call them prairie wolves. | ||
| That's what they used to call them. | ||
| They're actually a type of wolf. | ||
| It's a small wolf. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And when people started hunting coyotes and killing coyotes and then reintroducing gray wolves into like Yellowstone Park and all sorts of areas in Idaho and North America, that's when the coyotes spread across the entire range of the continental United States. | ||
| Now there's coyotes in every city in the country. | ||
| Yeah, there's coyotes in the Adirondacks in New York now. | ||
| Yeah, when you kill them, they have more babies. | ||
| This is what's crazy. | ||
| Like when you hear coyotes screaming at night, what they're doing is like roll call apparently. | ||
| This is all according to this Dan Flores guy. | ||
| And they call out, and when there's less response, like when one of them's missing, it triggers a response in the female to have larger litters. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Significantly larger. | ||
| So it's just that crying is the equivalent of... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bueller! | |
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| So they had apparently a number of coyotes that they had estimated in Yellowstone. | ||
| Then they brought in the gray wolves. | ||
| And the gray wolves are different than red wolves and a couple other wolves that are pretty much that stayed in steady population numbers in North America. | ||
| Well, when the gray wolves came back in North America, they didn't treat coyotes like friends. | ||
| They killed them. | ||
| And so when they started killing them, as opposed to interbreeding with them, like you've heard of a coy wolf? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you know what that is? | |
| That's a big thing on the East Coast, which mostly red wolves and coyotes are breeding. | ||
| They're creating a larger, smarter coyote. | ||
| And it's because coyotes really are wolves. | ||
| So when they started doing this, they killed 50% of the coyotes. | ||
| The coyote population dropped down to 50%. | ||
| But then, because they have larger litters when one of them gets killed, now it's ramped up in 20 years, higher than it was before the reintroduction of the wolves. | ||
| You're a survivor, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I have to say, I mean, they're creepy when you see them, the way they move. | ||
| I saw one scale a wall, like, just climb over it. | ||
| One killed one of my chickens. | ||
| I saw it run over a wall with my chicken. | ||
| Six-foot wall, hopped over it like it was nothing. | ||
| Yeah, it's weird. | ||
| It's like human in the way it walks. | ||
| They're super intelligent. | ||
| Yeah, but I have to say, as scary as they are and all that, there's a part of me that goes, sorry, man, I know I'm in your yard. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I realize that, you know, I'm the intruder. | ||
| Not really. | ||
| Really? | ||
| No, not really. | ||
| You don't feel that about coyotes? | ||
| No, no, because, look, they go where the food is, we go where the food is, we're all sharing this space together. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's not theirs, it's not ours. | ||
| It's just weird, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's weird. | |
| I mean, you see this, you say it's a wolf, I see a wolf in my backyard. | ||
| But they hang around where people are. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Is that why? | ||
| Because we're where the food is. | ||
| We're also where the rodents are because we have a lot of trash. | ||
| But they're really important because they kill off all the rats. | ||
| That's really important. | ||
| They kill the rats. | ||
| They kill rabbits. | ||
| They kill a lot of things that would get out of hand, population-wise, if it wasn't for them. | ||
| Well, I don't let Anderson Cooper out or Alice Cooper. | ||
| Those are my cats. | ||
| Yeah, not during the day, for sure. | ||
| Or not at night, excuse me. | ||
| Yeah, I'm not going to let them out. | ||
| You just don't do it at all? | ||
| Nah, nah. | ||
| That actually reminds me of a story. | ||
| I don't know if I want to tell that story. | ||
| A woman left a whip at my house. | ||
| A whip? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Whip it good? | ||
| Yeah, and I have to say that I wasn't... | ||
| I don't think I'm a prude, but... | ||
| And she's a very sweet person, but she was like... | ||
| I know where she was going, obviously. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She comes over with a whip. | ||
| Well, she surprised me with it. | ||
| Surprise? | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't have any crops. | |
| So, here's the thing. | ||
| I make this joke, which is true. | ||
| I retired from acting. | ||
| The same time people stopped hiring me. | ||
| But no, I really don't like to act. | ||
| I understand how you... | ||
| It's... | ||
| I don't like it. | ||
| I don't like it either. | ||
| And no one believes you when you say that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They think you're just... | ||
| They think you're lying. | ||
| And they think I'm lying. | ||
| I love directing. | ||
| I love writing. | ||
| I love being behind the scenes. | ||
| I love making stuff. | ||
| I like doing stand-up. | ||
| But acting's hard. | ||
| Back in the day when, you know, when I was in movies going... | ||
| I mean, that wasn't acting. | ||
| You know, if I forgot a line... | ||
| Come on, let's go! | ||
| So I don't know if that was acting, but she was like... | ||
| So when she said, she said, I like to be dominated, so that meant now I have an acting part. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I like to be dominated. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, line? | |
| Line? | ||
| I'm sorry, I'm not a fuck, you know? | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| And this sounds very... | ||
| Almost borscht belt, but I did say this. | ||
| She goes, I've been a bad girl. | ||
| And I said, well, we're all flawed. | ||
| I really said that. | ||
| That's like a Woody Allen movie. | ||
| I did say that. | ||
| And then we laughed. | ||
| And I would just rather... | ||
| Let's have sex. | ||
| Let's not... | ||
| I don't want to act. | ||
| Yeah, I'm that way, too. | ||
| I'm not into choking anybody. | ||
| Well, with you, that would... | ||
| But I mean, it takes on a whole other level. | ||
| I don't get the connection. | ||
| I mean, I get where someone could get the connection. | ||
| You know, I was talking to a friend of mine, my friend Chris Ryan, who wrote this book, Sex at Dawn. | ||
| He's a professor, a PhD. | ||
| And he's a really interesting guy. | ||
| And he was talking about where people get fetishes from. | ||
| And that when you're sort of imprinted at a young age, as you're going through puberty, sometimes very odd things will happen. | ||
| And those things will happen. | ||
| You'll connect those things because they happened with you sexually. | ||
| And they sort of imprint in your system. | ||
| And he used it as an example of how someone could get their dick sucked by a guy when they're like 13 or 14 and not even be gay, but really like getting your dick sucked by guys. | ||
| Like you get turned on by like guys sucking guys dicks or something. | ||
| Like you can actually like imprint in your mind. | ||
| But meanwhile you're attracted to women. | ||
| But you have this like weird kink for this one thing. | ||
| It's very strange. | ||
| But give me an example of other ones. | ||
| Feet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Foot fetishes. | |
| Yeah, how does that work? | ||
| Why would you get into feet? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Somebody rubbed their feet on you right before you had sex. | ||
| Some girl rubbed her feet on your dick and was into it and just playing around. | ||
| It can happen. | ||
| I mean, I'm sure anything can happen. | ||
| Well, obviously, there's some things going on between a person like you or I who doesn't want to hit anybody with a whip and someone who's really into it. | ||
| Yeah, also though, I mean, yeah, there is something different. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Something's happening. | |
| But it's not like I'm like, ew, that's disgusting and weird. | ||
| It just doesn't do anything for me. | ||
| Right, it's just not your thing. | ||
| It's just weird. | ||
| It just takes me out of the game. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I don't ever want to associate sex and violence together. | ||
| I just don't think that's a good combination. | ||
| In my world, I don't like it. | ||
| But I get it. | ||
| I have a buddy of mine who, him and his girlfriend, they put ball gags on each other and beat the shit out of each other, and they love each other. | ||
| They're great. | ||
| I mean, they don't come away marked or anything like that. | ||
| But there's some hair pulling and some smacking around. | ||
| Well, but you're a fighter, you know what I mean? | ||
| So... | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So it's too... | ||
| It's like... | ||
| It's ruining something you love. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, I guess in that way. | ||
| It's two completely different things in your mind. | ||
| Sort of, but the way I look at that... | ||
| See, that's the kind of violence where someone's like, hit me, I want you to hit me. | ||
| That is not... | ||
| Martial arts. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It's not even remotely the same thing. | ||
| Even if it's not even connected with sex, I don't have anything to do with that. | ||
| The idea of martial arts is someone doesn't want to be hit, you're trying to hit them, and it becomes this crazy game with extreme consequences, extreme health consequences. | ||
| There's nothing that's so different than holding someone down with a rape choke and just smacking them in the face over and over again until they start crying while you're fucking them. | ||
| People are into weird shit like that and my brain doesn't understand those connections. | ||
| But some people do. | ||
| Like that guy, the CBC radio host. | ||
| Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| In Canada that had all these girls saying that he just was into beating them up. | ||
| And he would say he wants to have rough sex. | ||
| And they thought, you know, hey, I'll be a little hair pulling. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| Spanking. | ||
| He's punching them in the face and shit. | ||
| You know, allegedly. | ||
| I mean, I don't know who's... | ||
| Right. | ||
| Apparently, he won the trial, right? | ||
| They dismissed the case. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And so now they're going to retry him, I guess, under some other case or other people. | ||
| Well, then, I mean, then, yeah. | ||
| There was some lying, apparently, by the girls. | ||
| And also, they had 5,000 text messages between the two of them going back and forth about the details of the case and what they should say and what they shouldn't say. | ||
| So, obviously, there was some collusion. | ||
| Obviously, there was some deception or allegedly some deception. | ||
| But what the fuck is it? | ||
| And this guy was, like, identified as a male feminist. | ||
| He was like, Mr. Softball. | ||
| Spookin', Mr. Liberal, Mr. Public Radio. | ||
| But that's actually... | ||
| The Crown dropped... | ||
| Is this really recently? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, six days ago. | |
| Okay, so he signed a peace bond and the Crown drops a sexual assault case. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| Yeah, what is a peace bond? | ||
| Some Canadian shit. | ||
| What is a peace bond? | ||
| Click on that. | ||
| Common and critical first highlighted up at the top. | ||
| Yeah, there you go. | ||
| What is a peace bond? | ||
| They're fairly common in criminal cases, defense loyalists. | ||
| Boy, that poor guy lost like 10 years of his life through this whole thing. | ||
| Peace bond isn't unusual as a way to resolve a criminal case as a lawyer in the wake of the news that former CBC broadcaster John Gomeschi is expected to sign one to conclude his second sexual assault case. | ||
| A source who did not want to be identified told CBC News that the case will not go to trial in June as previously scheduled. | ||
| Instead, the charge is expected to be dealt with on Wednesday. | ||
| The incident is alleged to have happened in 2008. Counsel's cases are resolved via peace bond. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck that means. | ||
| A resolution. | ||
| What is a peace bond? | ||
| Still not saying. | ||
| Yeah, I'm not sure. | ||
| He's an odd dude, though. | ||
| Because he was like, Mr. Liberal. | ||
| Yeah, but that's classic. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| Those are the guys who beat the shit out of one. | ||
| Those guys, those guys. | ||
| But you know how many of those guys have rage issues? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| There's so many of these hippie folks, and they have this rage in it. | ||
| It's just really strange. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Yeah, it's not. | ||
| Well, also I find that a lot of guys who identify as male feminists, what happened for a lot of them is they had rough childhoods and they were rejected by women. | ||
| So they become this savior of women from all these other asshole-ish men. | ||
| And so they become the guy that's different. | ||
| But they're womanizers, yeah. | ||
| Well, it's not even that they're womanizers. | ||
| What they are is they're just a guy. | ||
| But they're a weak guy, and they're suffering from the trauma of, like, I have a friend, it's not a friend anymore, but I had a friend when I was younger who had, he wasn't an attractive guy, and he would have real issues with women not like him. | ||
| He would get so upset. | ||
| And he started, over the course of the six to seven years that I knew him, he started associating women with pain. | ||
| Like, they would reject him and they would be mean to him. | ||
| And he was going to all the wrong places, like going to like, you know, hot spots and getting bottle service and, you know, and that was the type of people he was attracting. | ||
| And so they just wanted to have his drinks and not want to have sex with him. | ||
| And he would associate women with pain and frustration and rejection. | ||
| And so he started becoming this angry guy. | ||
| And I watched this sort of metamorphosis. | ||
| And I was trying to analyze it. | ||
| Like, you know, I was trying to do like the Louis Leakey anthropology thing. | ||
| I'm trying to figure out what the fuck is causing this stress and pain and anger. | ||
| And it's just purely an association game. | ||
| It's like how some people start looking at Hollywood. | ||
| Like, Hollywood's all bullshit, man. | ||
| I'm tired as fuck. | ||
| Why? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| Well, because you keep going to auditions and they keep turning it down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And so you just decide, well, fuck this place, man. | ||
| This place is fake. | ||
| But meanwhile, if you got scooped up when you're 20 years old and rocketed together, yeah, you would love this place. | ||
| You'd be the guy at the red carpet. | ||
| You would be like the toast of the town. | ||
| You'd be so happy. | ||
| And so I think a lot of these guys that identify as male feminists, I think they're just pussies. | ||
| And what happened is when they were young, they got walked over, they got trampled, and they're trying to figure out what is the pattern of behavior that I have to follow for me to separate myself from these men that have ruined these girls' lives. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I'll offer myself up as the solution. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, as a feminist, I just feel like you've just really been fucked over. | |
| Well, but I mean... | ||
| There's a couple things. | ||
| I run into the other guys who, Crimmins has a term, feminizers, who are acting all sensitive but still pulling mad wool. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| There's a lot of that. | ||
| Yeah, it's like, I understand. | ||
| It's like, you're the same guy. | ||
| You're the same guy. | ||
| You're the same dude. | ||
| You got a different hustle. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Yeah, the feminizers. | ||
| Oh, yeah, man. | ||
| But, you know, I mean, at the end of the day, feminists, it's, you know, basic human rights. | ||
| I'm all for that. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| The problem is the definition. | ||
| And those guys who I question their integrity. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Well, men are very difficult in that regard. | ||
| It's very difficult while they're sexually viable. | ||
| Because they're looking for attention, they're trying to score. | ||
| And when they're trying to score, they try any sort of combination of words that might be possible. | ||
| Like, I met this one guy, he said he's a feminist, and then he told me he's polyamorous. | ||
| I go, oh, you're a pussyhound! | ||
| You're a pussyhound! | ||
| I just, no, I just, I don't want to control my woman. | ||
| I don't want to, I respect her pleasure, her right to seek pleasure. | ||
| Oh, you fucker. | ||
| You fucker. | ||
| I see what you're doing. | ||
| I respect her, man. | ||
| Yeah, I think... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I don't know. | ||
| When... | ||
| When... | ||
| First of all, when did men start becoming feminists? | ||
| Was it Alan Alda? | ||
| Did he pull that shit first? | ||
| No, I think it's... | ||
| I think it's... | ||
| But, you know, the early 70s, 60s, you know... | ||
| They start saying it? | ||
| I mean, I'm sure, like, Warren Beatty was, even though, you know... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Was he? | |
| I guarantee you he was. | ||
| But he was such a pussy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| How is that possible? | ||
| I know. | ||
| I guarantee you he was. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I think, you know, people don't like the term egalitarian. | ||
| They think it's a cop-out. | ||
| Like, oh, no, no, no. | ||
| If you really cared about women's rights, you'd identify yourself as a feminist. | ||
| Like, no, I like humans. | ||
| I like all of them. | ||
| I like nice women. | ||
| I like nice men. | ||
| I like people that are fun to be around. | ||
| But, I mean, there are obviously major things, you know, the pay gap is a real thing. | ||
| The pay gap is tricky. | ||
| You ever look into that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's a lot of political bullshit. | ||
| The actual reality pay gap, it's very minor. | ||
| There's only a few jobs where women actually do get paid less than men. | ||
| What the pay gap is, is overall judging how much money women make versus how much money men make, and not taking into account what jobs they do, what jobs men tend to gravitate towards naturally versus what jobs women tend to gravitate towards naturally. | ||
| But when they're in the same job with the same sort of production, their actual pay scale is very similar. | ||
| It's real tricky, man, because you can't deny that some people that are a certain gender, like, they gravitate towards certain occupations. | ||
| And those occupations might have higher risk. | ||
| They might have higher pay ceilings. | ||
| There's a lot of variables. | ||
| And then you have to take into account women taking time off for raising children, for being pregnant, all those things, having babies, maternity leave. | ||
| That all gets factored in when you're talking about how much time or how much money people actually make. | ||
| So if you say women should be paid maternity leave and they should get X amount of money from a corporation, then you're dealing with a totally different argument. | ||
| And if you do that, then the pay scale changes. | ||
| Then it goes up a little bit. | ||
| And if you say, well... | ||
| Everybody should get paid for the same exact money for the same job. | ||
| Even still, more men want to do certain jobs in engineering and science, and then when it comes to really dangerous jobs, men are much more likely to die on the job. | ||
| Men are much more likely to be murdered by other men. | ||
| There's a lot of weird shit that has to get factored in. | ||
| when you talk about pay scales. | ||
| And apparently it's one of those political things where people say it and then I say it and then someone corrected me on it. | ||
| And then I said, but I heard Obama say it. | ||
| Because Obama was talking about the glass ceiling and how much money and the disparity in income. | ||
| And then I started actually looking into it. | ||
| I went, oh, okay. | ||
| This is complicated. | ||
| Because it's one of those things where you don't want to be insensitive. | ||
| So you don't want to say, that's bullshit. | ||
| Women don't get paid any less than men do. | ||
| But when you actually do look at the real numbers, that's where they're getting it from. | ||
| It's not like there's a hundred lawyers... | ||
| Okay, let's use an example in showbiz, because there is a big difference in actresses and actors' pay. | ||
| Are there? | ||
| Your top actors? | ||
| Well, the people that can sell the most tickets get the most money. | ||
| Like, Jennifer Lawrence gets paid shit piles of money. | ||
| And there was that thing where she was saying that she was upset that she didn't get as much money as Bradley Cooper. | ||
| But Bradley Cooper was in way more scenes than her. | ||
| He was in way more of the movie. | ||
| And he was a bigger star at the time. | ||
| It's real tricky. | ||
| Because if Jennifer Lawrence was in a movie with you, she'd get paid way more than you. | ||
| Well, that's... | ||
| But you know what I'm saying? | ||
| That's a bad example. | ||
| It's a bad example. | ||
| I probably would pull more money, but... | ||
| But you know what I'm saying? | ||
| It's like if someone is a huge superstar... | ||
| What's her name from Friends? | ||
| Jennifer Aniston. | ||
| Jennifer Aniston in her prime. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Or... | ||
| Matt and Mike and Molly guy, what's the girl's name? | ||
| Melissa McCarthy. | ||
| You don't think she makes more than him? | ||
| Of course she does. | ||
| She's more popular. | ||
| She's more famous. | ||
| She does these giant movies. | ||
| She gets paid tons of money. | ||
| Amy Schumer gets paid tons of money. | ||
| I'm going to change the subject because I was thinking of Back to Your Bears and movies. | ||
| What was your take on Revenant? | ||
| I liked it. | ||
| You know, it's all based on an actual true story, that this guy Steve Rinello from that Meat Eater podcast, who's actually a historian himself in a way, he told me the story, the actual story, where they really did leave this guy for dead, and he really did crawl for a couple miles and figured out a way to survive and got to that guy and killed him. | ||
| It's a real true story. | ||
| I thought it was pretty good, man. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| But someone who's actually been relatively close to a wild bear, what did you make of the scenes? | ||
| It looked really realistic. | ||
| People do occasionally survive bear attacks like that. | ||
| Because a lot of times the bears are just trying to protect themselves or they're trying to protect their cubs. | ||
| You fuck up, you get too close to their cubs. | ||
| That's a lot of it. | ||
| Yeah, that's the thing about bears is that you may not know that you're between the cubs. | ||
| Yeah, you might not have any idea. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You gotta be super careful if you're in the area. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm just trying to... | |
| I'm worried about you. | ||
| I know what I'm doing. | ||
| I mean, there's a certain amount of risk. | ||
| There's a certain amount of risk. | ||
| Yeah, that's famous last words. | ||
| No, watch me. | ||
| I know what I'm doing. | ||
| Let me try this. | ||
| I don't go where grizzlies are. | ||
| I stay where the black bears are. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Black bears. | |
| If I do see a grizzly, we're fucking out of there pretty quickly. | ||
| You gotta be careful, but there's a certain amount of risk to it. | ||
| Did you see Grizzly Man? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Many times. | ||
| I was rooting for the Bears. | ||
|
unidentified
|
100%. | |
| Yeah, okay, right. | ||
| I was the same thing. | ||
| I was like, go Bears. | ||
| Well, that's an interesting case because that guy is obviously mentally unbalanced. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That movie influenced... | |
| Willow Creek, probably more than any other movie. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Willow Creek, if people haven't seen it, it's Bob's Bigfoot movie, which we're going to get back to Bigfoot. | ||
| Well, when Willow Creek came out, I was in the middle of my Bigfoot phase, where it was just ending. | ||
| And what killed it for me was when I did that sci-fi show with Duncan Trussell, and we went to the Pacific Northwest and hung out with a few Bigfoot hunters for a week. | ||
| And after a while, we were like, dude... | ||
| We realized... | ||
| I had a joke about it. | ||
| I said, here's what you don't find when you go looking for Bigfoot. | ||
| Black people. | ||
| You're more likely to find Bigfoot than you are black people looking for Bigfoot. | ||
| What you find is hordes of unfuckable white dudes out camping. | ||
| And I'm like, this is an undeniable statistic. | ||
| I am not gonna lie. | ||
| That was something I noticed this weekend at the Ohio Bigfoot Conference. | ||
| Honest to God. | ||
| How can you not notice it? | ||
| I was like, it was... | ||
| It was huge. | ||
| And at one point, I said, where are the brothers at? | ||
| They don't exist. | ||
| There was two guys. | ||
| There was two black guys? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| They were lost. | ||
| They were looking for a car show. | ||
| It's this thing that men do when there's no chance whatsoever. | ||
| I didn't get that, though. | ||
| I mean, I truly was, because I shot some stuff in the documentary. | ||
| I said, hey, man, we need some people of color, which I was told... | ||
|
unidentified
|
They don't exist. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| You have to cast them. | ||
| Did you try? | ||
| You have to cast them! | ||
| Did you try women? | ||
| Did you get any women? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, sure, sure, sure. | |
| Are they all like the same kind of like Northern California? | ||
| No, one of my favorite. | ||
| No makeup. | ||
| One of my favorite interviews was a gal who was 16 years old. | ||
| She was quite brilliant. | ||
| I really loved her. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, she was one of my favorite interviews. | ||
| Did you talk to Les Stroud? | ||
| You should talk to Les. | ||
| I'm not doing a definitive Bigfoot doc. | ||
| I want to do a short about this conference. | ||
| That was the idea. | ||
| So yeah, Bob Gimlin was there, your buddy. | ||
| Did you ask him about the story? | ||
| Of course. | ||
| What is he saying? | ||
| He tells the story. | ||
| He tells it like it actually happened? | ||
| Yeah, one of the things interesting about him is that he talks about the amount of time he actually got to see Bigfoot versus Roger Patterson who was scrambling around with the camera. | ||
| And what did he say? | ||
| Oh, he was just talking about... | ||
| He felt that he didn't film a lot, you know? | ||
| And he didn't. | ||
| I mean, it's only 942 frames. | ||
| That they saw it more than the film? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Or he did. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's because he helped the guy get the fucking suit on. | ||
| So obviously fake. | ||
| Wait, do you know... | ||
| Did we talk about the... | ||
| Bob Hieronymus? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| We talked about that. | ||
| But did you... | ||
| The John Landis... | ||
| John Landis, the film director? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What about him? | ||
| Well, I'm really sorry. | ||
| I was up since 4 a.m. | ||
| Who was the guy in Argo that... | ||
| Yeah, that was the movie where John Goodman's playing the makeup effects guy. | ||
| I don't believe I saw that movie. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So that's a real guy. | ||
| And he worked... | ||
| I believe he worked with Landis. | ||
| Yeah, John Chambers. | ||
| And he had worked with Landis. | ||
| And so there was a rumor that John Landis is in the Paddy suit. | ||
| In the actual Bigfoot suit itself? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, I never heard that rumor. | ||
| So I wanted... | ||
| I wrote to John Landis. | ||
| I asked... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It does not go well. | |
| I said... | ||
| I say to my agents, because they're always looking for me to try to do something that makes money, so I go, hey, I got this idea for a TV show I want to talk to John Lannis about. | ||
| I don't know John Lannis. | ||
| I don't have an idea for a TV show. | ||
| Can you get me his email? | ||
|
unidentified
|
So they get me John Lannis' email, and I write him. | |
| Hey, this is Bobcat Goldthwait. | ||
| I'm writing an article for a magazine and I was wondering if you'd like to talk to me about this rumor about you possibly being in the Patterson-Gimlin footage, you know, in a suit playing Patty. | ||
| Five minutes, bink! | ||
| I get an answer back. | ||
| He goes, how did you get my email? | ||
| That's how it starts. | ||
| Who are you writing an article for? | ||
| Most certainly not in a Bigfoot suit. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| I went back and forth and kind of calmed him down a bit. | ||
| It's such a bad suit, too. | ||
| It's not a bad suit. | ||
| You see, you keep saying that. | ||
| It's terrible. | ||
| What is it about that footage? | ||
| It's obviously a man. | ||
| You know why it's obviously a man? | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because it looks like a man in a suit. | ||
| There's no other animal that looks like a man in a suit. | ||
| You don't look at a giraffe and go, that looks like a fucking dude in a giraffe suit. | ||
| But you look at that Bigfoot and you go, that looks like a fucking man. | ||
| It's walking like a man. | ||
| It has the same sort of stride. | ||
| It just has longer arms. | ||
| Because he's got football helmet shoulder pads, or football shoulder pads on, and his arms, he's got these long fucking fake ass arms. | ||
| So like, the whole thing looks fake and he's swinging his arms. | ||
| Why do they have breasts? | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Well, how do you know, first of all? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It does have breasts. | |
| Oh, here we go again. | ||
| We've done this a lot. | ||
| Yeah, here it goes. | ||
| Did you know that- Now, what do you see breasts? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right there! | |
| Right there! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stop that front! | |
| I see a shitty suit! | ||
| No, go back! | ||
| Yeah, but what animal has hairy tits? | ||
| Do you know even gorillas? | ||
| Even gorillas, their breasts are unexposed? | ||
| Yeah, it's fucking, it's shitty. | ||
| It's all folded over. | ||
| It's got shoulder pads on. | ||
| I mean, it looks like we're... | ||
| Let me watch it again. | ||
| Bob, you know shoulder pads go down like this, right? | ||
| They go down like this. | ||
| Joe, you might find this hard relief. | ||
| That likes shoulder pads. | ||
| I know nothing about the sports. | ||
| I probably know as little about football as you do. | ||
| I don't even know the rules. | ||
| Going to the... | ||
| All right, here we go. | ||
| But here's my point. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why would you give it breasts? | |
| Because it's a shitty suit. | ||
| Look at the bottom of his feet. | ||
| It's so obviously shoes. | ||
| Look at his fake ass. | ||
| The whole thing is stupid. | ||
| You're just sitting here looking at this footage going... | ||
| Now let's stabilize. | ||
| Yeah, alright, see? | ||
| Now you're about to eat some crow. | ||
| Oh boy. | ||
| You know, let me tell you something. | ||
| One time I got so high. | ||
| I was watching this documentary. | ||
| I was watching this footage. | ||
| I was like, what if I'm an asshole and that really is Bigfoot? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Like you hurt Bigfoot's feelings? | ||
| No, like I've just been mocking this for so long. | ||
| Why do you hate the Paris and Gimlin footage? | ||
| Because first of all, look at how little its legs are. | ||
| Little skinny ass fucking stupid legs. | ||
| That is not carrying an enormous animal around the woods forever and ever like that. | ||
| The weird part about this is how angry you are. | ||
| Because I hate hoaxes. | ||
| Anatomically. | ||
| First of all, let's talk about Roger Patterson, the guy who wrote this, is a con man. | ||
| A known con man. | ||
| The guy who shot it. | ||
| Went to jail for writing a bad check to pay for the very camera they used to film Bigfoot. | ||
| I mean, he was a known con man. | ||
| Bob Hieronymus. | ||
| Get the video of Bob Hieronymus walking right next to... | ||
| In the Bob Hieronymus footage, you never see his feet. | ||
| So... | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Watch. | ||
| His feet are cropped out, so it doesn't give you the same height as Patty. | ||
| But it doesn't have to. | ||
| That thing isn't big. | ||
| People have estimated that thing to be about six foot three. | ||
| It's not that big. | ||
| That's a person. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| You really think it's real? | ||
| Yeah, I think it's real. | ||
| Oh, you're so crazy. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look how he's walking. | |
| Look how he's walking. | ||
| First of all, he's walking. | ||
| He doesn't have legs. | ||
| He's walking. | ||
| I don't know, because it's the same height as him. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know why they did that. | |
| I want answers. | ||
| Maybe make another one. | ||
| He's the Holy Spirit. | ||
| But come on, look at that. | ||
| That is hilarious. | ||
| That's the guy. | ||
| I mean, that literally is him. | ||
| Put some shoulder pads on that guy. | ||
| Look how he's swinging his arms. | ||
| Could you put yakety-sacks under this? | ||
| That guy's a big, goofy, Northern California, Oregon-type character. | ||
| Put yakety-sacks under that. | ||
| That shit ain't real. | ||
| But you think it's real? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So you think it's a real Bigfoot? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you think Bigfoot's real like right now? | ||
| It's still alive? | ||
| Uh, yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For real? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| What makes you think this? | ||
| Well, I... Oh, can I prove it? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, I'm not saying you can prove it. | ||
| What do I believe? | ||
| I think it's the amount of people that I've talked to that I'm looking at, and there's no reason for them to be lying. | ||
| And it's basically the stories I hear over and over with a sincerity. | ||
| I don't get... | ||
| If it's not, I don't understand what the... | ||
| The, you know, what is this mass thing that I'm a part of? | ||
| You know, I've had guys after the movie, like, you know, I have like people that come up to me and they're almost like, I mean, maybe they're trying to get a connection with me, but I also feel like they're relieved to tell someone this. | ||
| Now, did they see Bigfoot? | ||
| No, maybe it's their imagination and stuff. | ||
| Maybe a lot of these stories, but just the amount of the stories is fascinating to me. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Well, one of the things they've realized fairly recently is that black bears in particular tend to walk on their hind legs a lot. | ||
| A lot more than anybody ever thought. | ||
| Not only that... | ||
| And they'll knock a tree down towards you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they can walk on their hind legs for great distances. | ||
| And they're incredibly strong. | ||
| And especially the big ones. | ||
| Like, a friend of mine shot one the other day on a hunt in Alaska that was seven foot... | ||
| Almost eight foot long. | ||
| I'm going to show you a picture of him holding this fucking thing up. | ||
| And you think about this animal standing up on its hind legs and what it would look like if that thing was walking towards you. | ||
| Now, my friend John is six foot five, I think. | ||
| Now, that's clearly someone in a suit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no, no, no. | |
| That's a bear, bro. | ||
| No, that's a guy in a suit. | ||
| No. | ||
| You're being silly. | ||
| Look how big that thing is. | ||
| Oh no, I agree. | ||
| I totally... | ||
| But you see how enormous that is? | ||
| No, and I agree that the majority of people who see Bigfoot are seeing black bears. | ||
| So an eight foot long black bear like that one. | ||
| That does stand up. | ||
| That just walks around. | ||
| And does a lot of the behavior that people attribute to Bigfoot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think that's what they're seeing. | ||
| And also, I think you're also dealing with woods. | ||
| The Pacific Northwest, where the sightings are primarily occurring, is insanely dense. | ||
| The way I describe it, when we went up to Mount Rainier, it's like Q-tips. | ||
| You know, like a box of Q-tips? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's insane. | |
| That's what the trees look like. | ||
| You can't see 20, 30 yards in. | ||
| It's gone. | ||
| No, you can't see anything. | ||
| And also, the canopy keeps light from coming in. | ||
| So if you saw, first of all, the fear that would go through your mind, if you saw a seven-foot black bear walking on its hind legs through the woods, and you saw it in between trees, your mind would fill in the blanks. | ||
| And Bigfoot has become this archetypal cultural icon. | ||
| That is something that I, not only Bigfoot, but almost all archetypal characters. | ||
| UFOs. | ||
| And the devil and all these things. | ||
| I am fascinated as someone who does write screenplays and times. | ||
| In the stories, I always wonder, well, what in the subconscious are they supplying? | ||
| Is it just something from our ancestors that, you know what I mean? | ||
| Or does it supply, this is how you told your kids not to go in the woods? | ||
| I am fascinated by what these different archetypal characters are and why they're created if they are created and things like that. | ||
| I think there was an animal at one time. | ||
| It's not that I think there was an animal at one time. | ||
| Everyone knows. | ||
| It's 100% fact. | ||
| There was an animal called Gigantopithecus. | ||
| We all know this, right? | ||
| Do you think that's ingrained in us? | ||
| Our fear of that? | ||
| I think that thing lived alongside people. | ||
| For a long time, and I think when you talk about Native American folklore, when they talk about Bigfoot, apparently they have many, many words for Sasquatch. | ||
| And I think that what they're probably doing is passing on thousands of years of data. | ||
| We don't know when the last time Gigantopithecus was alive, because they didn't know Gigantopithecus was even an animal. | ||
| Until the 1920s, I believe it was, they went to an apothecary shop in China and an anthropologist found a tooth that he couldn't attribute to any other known primate. | ||
| He asked the people where they got it from. | ||
| They told them where they got it from. | ||
| They went to the actual area where they got these bones and they found jaw bones that would indicate the animal was bipedal. | ||
| And that's where things got really interesting because you're dealing with some bipedal, enormous animal that was most likely At least 8 feet tall. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So a huge 8 foot tall primate. | ||
| I mean, we know the gorillas are huge, and we know that, you know, there's the Bondo ape, which is this enormous chimpanzee that has just recently been confirmed to live in the Congo. | ||
| They have a chimpanzee in the Congo that's like 6 feet tall, 400 pounds. | ||
| It's an enormous chimp. | ||
| So there are, like, variables. | ||
| There's different kinds of primates. | ||
| They know about the Hobbit Man and Flores that lived as recently as, I want to say, 14,000 years ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| That thing that lived on the Isle of Flores? | ||
| That's fascinating. | ||
| Little tiny people that they think also cannibalized humans. | ||
| And they think that human beings might have driven them to extinction. | ||
| They used tools. | ||
| They were like an enemy little tiny person thing that killed people, perhaps. | ||
| So I think a lot of our thoughts about leprechauns and fairies and elves... | ||
| It sounds like a really good movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It does. | |
| It does. | ||
| Well, there's also people that believe that animal still exists. | ||
| Or that small creature. | ||
| The Orang Pendek is one. | ||
| I think it's in Vietnam. | ||
| They believe that this animal still exists. | ||
| And people still have sightings of this. | ||
| And I think that that little guy is probably more likely still alive than Gigantopithecus. | ||
| Well, I... I think it's... | ||
| For me, it's... | ||
| I'm not copping out. | ||
| I mean, I do believe, but I also love the whole idea of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I do, too. | |
| I love it. | ||
| And you've been in the woods, and you know you can't see three feet in front of you. | ||
| I love it when I'm out with folks, and they'll hear an owl that sounds like an ape screaming. | ||
| And they'll go, nah, that's just... | ||
| And they know, but then I hear something else and they go, I go, hey man, that sounds like a coyote. | ||
| He's like, well, you know, juvie squatch sometime impersonate other animals. | ||
| Juvenile squatch. | ||
| Juvie squatch. | ||
| Juvie squatch. | ||
| They're the Frank Caliandro of the Sasquatch. | ||
| There was a bit from my last special that I did that was a real conversation that I had with one of these Bigfoot hunters. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he goes, one time I was walking in the woods and I heard this bullfrog that was near a blackberry bush. | |
| And I was thinking to myself, why is a bullfrog near a blackberry bush? | ||
| And then I got home and I realized that was a Squatch. | ||
| And he was dead serious. | ||
| Maybe it was just a fucking frog, dude! | ||
| I mean, maybe it was just a frog. | ||
| In his mind, it had to be a Sasquatch. | ||
| Like, that kind of illogical... | ||
| I'm impressed that you got to that part of the story that quick. | ||
| Because when you ask... | ||
| Oh, it took a long time. | ||
| Yeah, it's always... | ||
| I just condensed it. | ||
| You go... | ||
| Have you had any encounters and it goes, I'm 5'6". | ||
| And I'm like, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The date was 1972. Oh, that I would like. | |
| I had a brand new pair of shoes and I had just broken one lace and tied the other lace up. | ||
| And I was thinking to myself, I'm so upset with the way they're making these laces these days. | ||
| They've shipped off their laces to China. | ||
| That's neither here nor there. | ||
| Anyway, I'm on a long backpacking trip. | ||
| Did you ever watch The Bionic Man? | ||
| Oh, with Bigfoot? | ||
| No, Bigfoot was on that. | ||
| It's just like, it's never point A to B. They're socially retarded. | ||
| They're adorable. | ||
| They're adorable in a lot of ways. | ||
| Look, the guys that took me in and Duncan, the guys we hung out with from the, what is it, the Sasquatch Research Foundation, I don't know what the fucking name their organization is. | ||
| BFRO? Yes, that's it. | ||
| They're nice guys. | ||
| They're nice guys. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I also love it because, to me, it's a microcosm of faith. | ||
| There's the people that see it and believe, there's people that have never seen it, and then just like any other belief in a deity, everybody's got their own version, and everybody thinks their version's right, and I love that, that there's all this infighting. | ||
| While I was there, I would start asking people about Well, what do you think about Dog Man? | ||
| And people are like, ugh. | ||
| Dog Man's for idiots. | ||
| This guy's crazy. | ||
| Hey, why don't you go back to Holly Weird with that Dog Man? | ||
| That's so funny, man. | ||
| I can't think of a more fun weekend. | ||
| They think that he can sense where cameras are. | ||
| Well, different folks, yeah. | ||
| And those are the same folks that believe he's traveling in portals. | ||
| Oh, that is hard, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Travels through wormholes. | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sasquatch is an interdimensional creature. | |
| I've met many people that can sense when a camera's on. | ||
| But here's the thing that I ask you. | ||
| What evidence at all, if any, compels you to think it's even possible that this animal exists? | ||
| Besides that footprint that I have over there. | ||
| Do you see one of those? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I got one of those. | ||
| That's a real cast. | ||
| That's from one of the fucking encounters. | ||
| I think that looks like... | ||
| I hate to bum you out. | ||
| I think that looks like from the Patterson-Gimlin track wave. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| Yeah, I do. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think this is given to me by Bobo from Finding Bigfoot. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| How you and Bobo get along? | ||
| Oh, great! | ||
| He was upset when I was ragging on that fucking video. | ||
| Oh, the footage, yeah. | ||
| Bobo, when he found out I was doing a movie, the first thing he said was, I'm going to fucking kick Bobcat's ass. | ||
| He said that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| Because he thought I was going to make fun of him. | ||
| Imagine that. | ||
| You make fun of Bigfoot and he wants to kick your ass. | ||
| I didn't though. | ||
| My movie is very reverential. | ||
| It's a good movie. | ||
| Thanks, man. | ||
| I really enjoyed that movie. | ||
| It's more of a suspense film, too. | ||
| It's a fun movie. | ||
| Thanks, man. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| It was shocking because I didn't know what to expect. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember we barely talked about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He just told me it's a Bigfoot movie. | ||
| I'm like, alright. | ||
| And I watched this movie, I'm like, holy shit! | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck is going on? | |
| Yeah, the scene in the tents is, I'm pretty happy with that. | ||
| And you know, when we shot that scene, it was 3am, 2.33am, and I shot it at Laos Camp, between Laos Camp and Bluff Creek. | ||
| So I shot it where the footage was filmed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| And we'd seen a mountain lion. | ||
| I can talk to a guy who's seen a mountain lion. | ||
| Yeah, that's fucked up, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's interesting. | ||
| Have you seen one? | ||
| Oh yeah, I've seen two. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I saw one run across the road and that was weird and then we saw one in the woods. | ||
| And man, it's... | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And it would have killed us, but it didn't want to because we were... | ||
| Too many of you. | ||
| We were just really close. | ||
| It just got up and just like walked away like a house cat. | ||
| Well, they don't worry about people because they haven't been hunted in California since the 90s. | ||
| So all these animals that you're experiencing, they don't view people as nearly as much of a threat as they used to. | ||
| But if you're like in Arizona or places that have a hunting season... | ||
| You're not going to see any fucking mountain lions. | ||
| They see people. | ||
| They get the fuck out of there. | ||
| Because they understand the threat and they get used to the threat and then they escape and they run away. | ||
| Here's a perfect example. | ||
| Yellowstone. | ||
| People haven't hunted in Yellowstone in over 100 years. | ||
| So when you go to Yellowstone, you could pull your car up to a herd of elk. | ||
| I mean, they're right there hanging out. | ||
| You can get out of your car and you can see them. | ||
| When you're in Colorado and you're in the mountains and you're hunting and you see an elk, they bark and they fucking bolt. | ||
| They see you, they go like this. | ||
| They let all the other elk know there's a person. | ||
| They recognize the threat and they take off. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So because we don't hunt in California, we don't hunt mountain lions. | ||
| That's also why you never see any deer. | ||
| That was really terrifying. | ||
| And we filmed the scene. | ||
| Did you just film the mountain lions? | ||
| No, but we filmed there. | ||
| Because I go, well, let's just go to the left. | ||
| And Bryce Johnson's in the film. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's going, why don't we just get in the car? | |
| So he was scared of the mountain? | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| How big was it? | ||
| It was really big. | ||
| That's the thing I didn't realize. | ||
| It's a lion. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You know, it's big. | ||
| And then we're filming the scene, you know, the long scene in the tent. | ||
| And the first take, it's 19 minutes long, the one that's in the movie. | ||
| The first take, he started crying while we were filming. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because he's scared of the mountain line? | ||
| It was just, yeah, it was the whole thing. | ||
| And you know, and then, you know, that nature, that scene is scary. | ||
| And I go, that was a really good take. | ||
| I just don't think your character would cry. | ||
| And he's like, my character's not crying. | ||
| I'm crying. | ||
| Why are we here? | ||
| We could shoot this in a hotel parking lot. | ||
| No one knows where the fuck we're at. | ||
| I go, that's really good. | ||
| Use that intensity in the scene. | ||
| Just don't cry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
cry. | |
| We're going again. | ||
| I, I, Crimin said the same thing He laughed really hard. | ||
| I think I live a fairly honest life, but when I'm in production mode, it's just, I'm gonna get it done. | ||
| Well, you have to. | ||
| Truly, though. | ||
| Well, you're under so many constraints. | ||
| And when we were filming Call Me Lucky, the doc on Barry, We were out on the lake and the ice started cracking. | ||
| And one of the guys was from Ice Truckers. | ||
| So he knew the noise. | ||
| He goes, hey, we gotta get off the ice. | ||
| Because it was like, boom, boom. | ||
| Sounded like someone tuning a drum kit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's terrifying. | |
| It was like, boom. | ||
| No, I'm never scared. | ||
| And I go, what do we do? | ||
| He goes, everybody walk off the ice. | ||
| One at a time. | ||
| 15 feet, 20 feet between each other. | ||
| Like we made a line, but we were far away from each other. | ||
| Stay away from fat guys. | ||
| And then it actually did like a split and then like snow blew up, you know, through this cravice. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| So we get off the ice. | ||
| And there's this jetty, and I go, okay guys, I go, let's just climb over the fence, because it says, you know, do not enter, close chain. | ||
| And I go, let's just come over here, and we just go down the end of the jetty, and the sound guy has never worked with me before. | ||
| He goes, but the sign, it says, do not enter. | ||
| I go, yeah, the guy said if he wasn't here, just jump the fence. | ||
| This kid just jumps the fence. | ||
| And Crimmins goes, have you been lying to me this whole time? | ||
| You lie so fast. | ||
| Gotta get the job done. | ||
| Is this Windy City Heat 2? | ||
| That's what Grimmins called it. | ||
| Oh, that's so funny. | ||
| Oh, that's so ridiculous. | ||
| We should plug this. | ||
| I found out Barry's doing a special at Lawrence, Kansas on June 4th. | ||
| Louis C.K. is producing a special for Barry. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Oh, that's so great. | ||
| So folks at the Lawrence Art Center, go out and check out. | ||
| They're doing two shows. | ||
| Ten bucks ticket. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, beautiful. | |
| So go out and see Barry. | ||
| What is he filming it for? | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| Maybe it's for Louie, you know, how he puts stuff out. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, it could, you know, I don't know. | ||
| I should ask Barry where it's going to be. | ||
| What I read online is that it's going to be released on louieck.com. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Beautiful. | |
| I'm not 100% sure of it. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Barry's so awesome. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, he is. | |
| And I'm working on a lot of things. | ||
| I really am, actually, right now. | ||
| I'm working on a couple different things I'm not going to discuss, but one of the things I can discuss is I'm doing a short doc on the Washington Generals, the team that played the Globetrotters. | ||
| I don't know about that. | ||
| Oh, they're the team that lost three and a half thousand times, roughly, because they played the Globetrotters. | ||
| Oh, constantly, in the fake games, right? | ||
| Well, again... | ||
| It's like pro wrestling, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Isn't it? | |
| Well, here's what I'm learning is really fun. | ||
| Like, officially, they were never told to take a dive. | ||
| But they knew it. | ||
| Yeah, and then they fucked up once in 71, and they beat the Globetrotters. | ||
| Oh my god, what happened? | ||
| And that's what I'm doing. | ||
| Children were crying in the stands. | ||
| Metal Ark Lemmick went into their locker and he goes, you didn't win. | ||
| And the guy was great. | ||
| He goes, but we knew we did. | ||
| Isn't that great? | ||
| So I'm doing a short talk on when the generals won. | ||
| When other people would win the NBA Finals, I'd be like, wait a minute, did they beat the Globetrotters? | ||
| Where were the Globetrotters? | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| The Globetrotters are the best. | ||
| I've seen them. | ||
| They spin the ball on their fingers. | ||
| They do crazy stuff. | ||
| Is this the actual game? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| But yeah, man, the Globetrotters. | ||
| What a weird idea to like incorporate theatrics and sort of like almost like a pro wrestling type thing with... | ||
| Do they still do it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They do. | ||
| Well, there's the Simpsons with Krusty the Clown where he lost all his money betting on the generals. | ||
| He goes, I thought they were due. | ||
| I thought they were due. | ||
| I just guess it is. | ||
| He's going, ref, look! | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's pulling his pants down. | |
| He's just spinning the ball. | ||
| Grab it. | ||
| Grab the ball. | ||
| I did the Simpsons ride the other day, Universal. | ||
| I took my kids to Universal. | ||
| The Simpsons ride is fucking amazing. | ||
| Yeah, I loved it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's one of the best rides ever. | |
| And there's so many jokes crammed into that thing, too. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's really funny. | ||
| Everything, even when you're waiting to get on the ride, the screen they play you. | ||
| It's really well done. | ||
| Seriously, one of the best rides of all time. | ||
| Yeah, and a lot of laughs. | ||
| Oh, did you catch this? | ||
| It replaced the Back to the Future ride. | ||
| It did? | ||
| Yeah, and then they do a thing where there's a shady dealing between Krusty and Doc Brown. | ||
| Even that was really well done. | ||
| It's the same building, and they just retooled the ride, basically. | ||
| Oh, that's interesting. | ||
| It's so much better. | ||
| Yeah, it's great. | ||
| It's really one of the best rides ever. | ||
| How old was your kid? | ||
| Well, I went with my one, my seven, who just turned eight, and I have a five who's about to turn six. | ||
| So you went with the eight-year-old. | ||
| Did you go to Harry Potter? | ||
| I went with all of them. | ||
| Well, the eight-year-old went to Harry Potter. | ||
| The five-year-old couldn't get to Harry Potter. | ||
| She's like an inch shy. | ||
| So next time I'm going to stuff her shoes and I'm going to get her to wear heels. | ||
| Yeah, she was a little bummed. | ||
| Yeah, that's hard. | ||
| But the eight-year-old reads Harry Potter every day. | ||
| She's read three of the books. | ||
| She reads chapters and chapters every day. | ||
| She's obsessed. | ||
| She can't stop talking about Harry Potter. | ||
| Did you get her a wand? | ||
| Oh yeah, the whole deal. | ||
| We went through a whole rigmarole. | ||
| But the Harry Potter ride at Universal is probably the greatest ride in the history of rides. | ||
| It's fucking amazing. | ||
| And I don't even like Harry Potter. | ||
| Did you bring up Voldemort to any of the employees? | ||
| Why? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What happens when you do? | |
| Because you're not supposed to mention his name. | ||
| What happens if you mention him? | ||
| Well, their commitment is really impressive. | ||
| They go, please do not say that. | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| He who has not. | ||
| Go on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He who has not. | |
| Who cannot be named. | ||
| He who cannot be named. | ||
| Please do not bring up he who cannot be named. | ||
| It's like that old Garofalo bit. | ||
| I admire your commitment, but I know you came here from Encino. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I just want to see if he's got a want. | ||
| Well, and also they serve this stuff called butterbeer that I guess was a big part of the book. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And it's this unbelievably sugary, syrupy drink with foam on the top of it. | ||
| Oh, it's disgusting. | ||
| And just everybody's drinking it. | ||
| Everywhere you go, they're all Harry Potter now. | ||
| It's really well done. | ||
| Oh, amazingly well done. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| It costs more than a billion dollars. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| $1.8 billion for Harry Potter World. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| What in the fuck? | ||
| So that's... | ||
| They're making new rides? | ||
| They're making a Star Wars world there. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| No, that's Disneyland. | ||
| That's even more... | ||
| Disneyland Star Wars world. | ||
| They're working on that right now. | ||
| That real estate's even more pricey than Aaron Spelling's old house. | ||
| Disney bought Star Wars. | ||
| And so Universal is Harry Potter. | ||
| Well, I guess they were doing another world, too. | ||
| I'll have to look up which one it is, but they're doing two or three giant world spaces like Harry Potter. | ||
| They got some lame fucking rods. | ||
| Jurassic Park's lame as fuck. | ||
| The Transformers is lame as fuck. | ||
| They're too dated. | ||
| I didn't do either of those. | ||
| Those are lame. | ||
| Don't bother. | ||
| Did you go through the King Kong? | ||
| You didn't do that. | ||
| See, that's pretty good. | ||
| The tram? | ||
| Yeah, because the tram goes in and it's 360. Oh, I did that a long time ago. | ||
| This is a long time ago, right? | ||
| Isn't it like 10 or 20 years old or something like that? | ||
| Yeah, the Backlot Tour. | ||
| I did that back in the day. | ||
| I did that. | ||
| But I'm super impressed with The Simpsons. | ||
| No, not with the King Kong that was like an animatronic one that had banana breath. | ||
| No, no, this is Peter Jackson 3D, and you're in a 360-degree screen. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Yeah, it's nuts. | ||
| That's on Universal, too? | ||
| Yeah, it's nuts. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's really good. | ||
| No, not the... | ||
| I remember that one. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And it had banana bread. | ||
| It did it? | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| It blows banana smell on you. | ||
| You blow banana smell. | ||
| It's come full circle. | ||
| Let me get back to this Bigfoot thing. | ||
| The Bigfoot conference. | ||
| What makes you think that any of this, like this stupid fake footprint that's in front of us here, what makes you think? | ||
| I'll tell you, you know, it's hard to do this. | ||
| I'm not saying it's impossible. | ||
| Do you see that American Werewolf in London that I have out there? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If they could do that, what would make you think they couldn't do this? | ||
| Thermal ridges. | ||
| No, I'll tell you what's hard. | ||
| I'm not saying it's not impossible, because there was people being pulled behind a truck with a rope, so the spacing of the feet, and then you've got enough force, because you do have to put a lot of pressure in to make this. | ||
| But here's the weird part, and this isn't proof, but what I was really surprised with, because we made footprints in Willow Creek and did it the way you would think, you know, carved wood, put them on your feet. | ||
| Really hard to take that That second stride. | ||
| It's really strange. | ||
| It's like anti-snowshoes. | ||
| Right. | ||
| To the point where I got stuck. | ||
| Maybe it's because I'm a fat ass, but we had to get like a stick to get me... | ||
| I'm not saying it's not impossible, but it was really way more difficult than I could imagine. | ||
| So, fairly difficult, but still, the best piece of evidence is just impressions and dirt. | ||
| Just tracks. | ||
| There's never been a body. | ||
| There's never been a trail cam photograph of them. | ||
| I mean, hunters set up trail cam photos everywhere. | ||
| Now that people have phones with cameras on them, there's people hiking and hunting and everyone has cameras. | ||
| But there's folks who have footage. | ||
| What footage is any good? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Other than that fake footage that we watched earlier today, what footage is any good? | ||
| A lot of people don't know that Roger Patterson also was Abraham Zapruder. | ||
| Because it's the same camera work. | ||
| He had one thing he did really well. | ||
| That jiggly camera. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, when they leveled it out, it's not compelling at all to me. | ||
| I really think it's fake. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I wish it wasn't. | ||
| We're going to agree to disagree. | ||
| But I wish it wasn't. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| Like, I want it to be real. | ||
| It's one of my all-time favorite myths. | ||
| So you would be thrilled if... | ||
| So thrilled. | ||
| I'd be so happy. | ||
| I'd probably sleep for days. | ||
| What would you do about... | ||
| Well, that's the thing that's weird, too. | ||
| I wonder what people are seeing if they're not seeing Bigfoot. | ||
| Bears. | ||
| I think they're seeing bears. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think they're seeing bipedal bears. | ||
| Or bullshit. | ||
| Or they're crazy. | ||
| Or they're making things up. | ||
| I think a lot of these people are lonely. | ||
| And I think it's an archetypal story. | ||
| I'm fascinated too, though, about when I went to the Mothman thing. | ||
| What is it if it isn't this? | ||
| So why is it the... | ||
| When you're getting ridiculed for coming forward with a story... | ||
| Why is there like over a hundred actual reports, police reports and stuff on this phenomenon where people are seeing the mothman? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| So let's say it's fake. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're bored. | |
| They're in Kentucky. | ||
| They're doing meth. | ||
| West Virginia. | ||
| They're fucking their kids. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whatever. | |
| They're out of their mind. | ||
| These people are out of their mind. | ||
| This was in 65. Yeah, they were doing it back then. | ||
| People have been fucking their kids since the 20s. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, not that. | |
| Since the, what, 20s? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| No, what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| These are the wrong questions. | ||
| These are the wrong questions. | ||
| By saying, no, meth's kind of new. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| So what's the right question? | ||
| Well, the right questions are, here's why it's the wrong questions. | ||
| Because all of this is eyewitness testimony, which is the absolutely worst, most unreliable piece of evidence you can get. | ||
| I was in Alberta. | ||
| There's so many guys on death row, et cetera, et cetera, because of eyewitness. | ||
| When I was in Alberta hunting bear the first time I was up there, I thought I saw a wolf. | ||
| It was a squirrel. | ||
| But for two seconds, I thought it was a fucking wolf. | ||
| Because I saw it in the woods. | ||
| I saw it moving through this incredibly dense brush, and I went, oh shit, it's a wolf. | ||
| It's a squirrel. | ||
| What the fuck is wrong with me? | ||
| Because I was scared. | ||
| Because my senses were heightened. | ||
| I was looking for a wolf. | ||
| Because there are wolves up there. | ||
| I'm glad that that squirrel didn't commit any crime. | ||
| And your mind starts filling in the blanks. | ||
| That is not... | ||
| The wolf that stole my money. | ||
| That is a squirrel, Your Honor. | ||
| Your mind fills in blanks. | ||
| I believe that completely. | ||
| No, it absolutely does happen. | ||
| People have put suggestions into people's heads and then put them in certain situations, and then their mind actually sees things that aren't there. | ||
| Your mind fills in blanks. | ||
| Also, when you have memories of things, if your memories correspond with other people's memories, you'll adjust your memories to correspond to an iconic or archetypal type of story that people are passing around. | ||
| And so if you have a story that emanates from one particular region and one guy shows up at the corner store and goes, man, you ain't gonna believe this. | ||
| I saw a dude with moth wings. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a man who is a moth. | |
| Like, holy shit, you hear about Bobby? | ||
| He saw Mothman. | ||
| And then people start getting crazy, and they're sitting around drinking, and the next thing you know, Petey saw the Mothman. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was coming home, I was leaving the bar, I was all mad, and all of a sudden, I saw a man with moth wings, and I stopped thinking about my own troubles, and I said, man, this might be a demonic area. | |
| We got Mothman up in this bitch. | ||
| And the next thing you know, another dude sees the Mothman and then it spreads. | ||
| And then those stories, they become 10 years old and 20 years old and it goes on and on and on. | ||
| People are full of shit. | ||
| Well, but the Mothman was a very specific time. | ||
| It was for one year. | ||
| People were seeing all these Mothman. | ||
| Or one Mothman. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And then, same time there's UFOs in this area, and then people are being visited by men in black. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then this bridge collapsed. | ||
| And they believe that the Mothman is some sort of banshee that shows up to warn people that something terrible is about to happen. | ||
| Seems totally logical. | ||
| Come on, just fill in the blanks. | ||
| Oh, there's the Mothman. | ||
| Oh, he's up there? | ||
| Oh, look at that. | ||
| Looks like a gargoyle. | ||
| That's not... | ||
| That's the Mothman, bro. | ||
| No, that's fake. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a photo. | |
| No, you know it's fake. | ||
| You know it's not fake. | ||
| I mean, look. | ||
| I mean, the Jersey Devil. | ||
| Here's another one. | ||
| Jersey Devil. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you ever see the Jersey Devil? | |
| I would like to do a show where I go... | ||
| I take out, like... | ||
| Like that Jersey Devil remind me. | ||
| So I want to take out other filmmakers. | ||
| Like if Jersey Devil, I get Kevin Smith and go in a tent and go look for the Jersey Devil. | ||
| Don't you think that's a great idea? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It might be. | |
| Come on. | ||
| It might be funny. | ||
| Did you remember? | ||
| What was that monster show? | ||
| What was the monster show? | ||
| Well, there's got all that, but I like the idea that like this is just... | ||
| Monster quest. | ||
| Yeah, but this is just, you know, this is just a reason to get guys who shouldn't be out in the woods... | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| To take Steven Sodenberg out looking for the swamp ape. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're not the most robust gentlemen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| We're not the adventurers. | ||
| There's some humor in that. | ||
| Oh, please. | ||
| But if you really do think there is one... | ||
| And storytellers. | ||
| Well, that's one of the reasons why Les Stroud becomes interesting. | ||
| Because Les Stroud has had two experiences. | ||
| And one of them that he is pretty adamant... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Couldn't have been a bear, couldn't have been anything else, and he really believes that it was a Sasquatch to the point where he's dedicated weeks and weeks to going out into the woods. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| But hanging out with a known charlatan, the guy he's hanging out with is a total bullshitter. | ||
| I'm sure you've seen his show. | ||
| Have you seen the Bigfoot show where the guy wears the mask and pretends he's Bigfoot? | ||
| No. | ||
| You've never seen the footage? | ||
| Of what? | ||
| The guy that Les Stroud is hanging around with put a fucking mask on and got close-up video footage of him standing there even blinking with this fucking stupid fake mask. | ||
| I don't know what kind of mask it is. | ||
| It's so fake. | ||
| It's so fake it hurts my feelings. | ||
| It hurts my feelings when I watch it. | ||
| I go, oh my god. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because I have children. | ||
| It makes me think this is someone's kid who grew up and he's this fucking stupid that he made this video. | ||
| That's it back there. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| As if this thing's just hanging out. | ||
| And by the way, this guy who made this, according to the Bigfoot researchers, he's got a history with having problems with reality. | ||
| And so, wait till you see the fucking, when they zoom in, it's like, oh, is it there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is it there? | |
| I think I see it. | ||
| Yeah, I have seen this. | ||
| He's like pretending he sees it. | ||
| It's an actual... | ||
| Oh, it's definitely a squatch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hold on. | |
| Wait till you get close on me. | ||
| But I feel like this is... | ||
| 100% real. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm just trying to zoom in. | |
| There it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| He's looking at me. | ||
| I can't believe it. | ||
| My blood turned cold. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I started getting goosebumps all across my arm, and I was looking at him, and I realized this cannot be a man in a suit. | |
| It's too good. | ||
| Look how bad that is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
| Look how furry he is. | ||
| It's like someone with one of those hats that really rich old ladies wear. | ||
| When they're walking down Fifth Avenue. | ||
| How do you argue with that? | ||
| Look how stupid that is. | ||
| Look how stupid it is. | ||
| Oh my god, look at that one. | ||
| Even better. | ||
| Watch it blink. | ||
| Wait for it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's how you know it's real! | |
| It's fucking real, Bobcat. | ||
| It blinked. | ||
| Look how it's coiffed, too. | ||
| Look, his hair's combed like Fonzie. | ||
| But I hear that a lot. | ||
| Looks like Fabian. | ||
| That he's got hairspray on. | ||
| That, um, that very clean. | ||
| Mm. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Look at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well that, obviously. | |
| Clearly that's real. | ||
| Fake as fuck. | ||
| No, that's fake. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But Survivorman, Les Stroud, who's a friend of mine, had that fucking, put that shit on the show. | ||
| And he had some like, he puts out like a caveat. | ||
| But what does he say? | ||
| He doesn't, so does he say that that's real? | ||
| It all becomes very problematic when you have money tied into... | ||
| You can't talk too much shit because it's on his show. | ||
| He makes money off that show. | ||
| By the way, that Survivorman Bigfoot, that's massive ratings. | ||
| It gets bigger ratings than regular Survivorman. | ||
| Like where he drops himself off in fucking Africa by himself with a butter knife. | ||
| That's impressive. | ||
| He's done some real shit. | ||
| And that doesn't get nearly the ratings that this hanging out with this fake Bigfoot guy does. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's weird, man. | |
| Well, so... | ||
| No bodies. | ||
| We're just not... | ||
| Well, they bury their... | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| See, I talked to this guy, Todd Disotel, who's a biologist, and we did some tests on all these different things that people thought were Bigfoot shit, Bigfoot hair. | ||
| It's all bears. | ||
| Bears or dogs or coyotes, something like that. | ||
| But all of it... | ||
| We did actual... | ||
| For that TV show... | ||
| DNA testing. | ||
| Yeah, we went to a real lab at NYU, and we did real tests. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It's all bullshit. | ||
| There's nothing. | ||
| There's not one piece of evidence. | ||
| And then there was that lady. | ||
| Who was that lady from Texas who was claiming that she found DNA? Is there her name Ketchum? | ||
| Yeah, Melba Ketchum. | ||
| Yeah, Melba Ketchum. | ||
| She was saying that she found DNA, that it was some sort of non-human primate. | ||
| It's bullshit. | ||
| It's tainted. | ||
| But she's kind of ostracized in the Bigfoot community. | ||
| They've ostracized? | ||
| That's how you know you're full of shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Bigfoot community is like, this bitch is too crazy even for us. | |
| Kick rocks, Melba! | ||
| You ain't selling your fucking horse shit over here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Go pedal your shoebox. | |
| So, alright, we're not going to agree on that. | ||
| But listen, I don't discount the possibility that not only did that animal exist, but it maybe even could still exist. | ||
| Because the Pacific Northwest is incredibly dense. | ||
| It's a massive, massive environment. | ||
| That's the part, that's actually the part, one of the things. | ||
| When you get out there and you truly, I mean, they lose planes in there. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| And they don't find them. | ||
| You don't find shit. | ||
| You can be... | ||
| I've been in places where I'm like, I'm not... | ||
| I'm lost. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And it's a question of like 10, 15 feet. | ||
| It's that dense. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| And we're talking about insane amounts of acreage that people just don't live in. | ||
| From Oregon all the way down to the Northern California range. | ||
| So, I mean, that's the part that when I started going around and I went in that deep, I was like, wow, this is, it's crazy how remote that is. | ||
| It makes it compelling. | ||
| But the shitty stories, the fake footage, the fake footprints, all the fakeness makes me wonder if you're just dealing with a myth that is kind of cool to talk about because it exists in this very strange environment. | ||
| I totally agree with that. | ||
| Since I was a kid, I've always been fascinated by these different kinds of characters and who are they and what do they mean to us. | ||
| And that's really key. | ||
| I'll be writing a screenplay that has nothing to do with Frankenstein. | ||
| And I'll realize later on, I'll say, oh, this was Frankenstein. | ||
| This is someone who was rebuilt after being marred and came through the fire and became this monster that is unstoppable. | ||
| And after I get finished writing it, I go, oh, I just wrote Frankenstein, goddammit. | ||
| And I'm fascinated by that. | ||
| Well, it's also the fact that Native Americans don't really have a lot of fake animals in their folklore. | ||
| There's not a lot of... | ||
| But this one is incredibly prevalent. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I really think it has to do with Gigantopithecus. | ||
| And if you follow where Gigantopithecus was, Gigantopithecus was in Asia, and just like all the other animals came across the Bering Strait... | ||
| If they did come across the Bering Strait, they would be exactly in the area where the sightings are, from Alaska all the way down the Pacific Northwest, Vancouver, northern BC. Those are the areas where you have the BC Rockies. | ||
| Those are the areas you have the most sightings. | ||
| But those are areas where the bears are. | ||
| You know, it's the same range as these black bears. | ||
| So I think it's entirely possible that at one point in time there was something like that that made it over here along with human beings. | ||
| And you believe that this is like a subconscious sense memory that has gone from generation to generation? | ||
| I think it's just stories that get passed down, and those stories become ingrained in our head, and then we go looking for it. | ||
| And I think it's entirely possible that written language is like, how long has spoken language been around for? | ||
| I want to say... | ||
| I want to say it's like 40,000 years, but I might be wrong. | ||
| I think spoken language is like 40,000 years old, which is not really that long. | ||
| Which means spoken language most likely was around somewhere around the time that animal existed. | ||
| Like if they didn't know that Gigantopithecus existed at all until the 1920s, and the bones that they got from this one area were dated at about 100,000 years old. | ||
| It's entirely feasible that these animals could have survived another 30, 40, 50, who knows how many thousands of years until it eventually became extinct. | ||
| So if that's the case, I think people probably experienced them. | ||
| They probably came in contact with them. | ||
| And there's also, there was a bunch of different bears that existed. | ||
| Was it a flathead or a flat-faced bear? | ||
| I forget what it's called, flat-nosed bear, flat-faced bear, but it was a prehistoric bear that existed in the Pleistocene that was such a formidable predator, apparently, according to Dan Flores, that he thinks it impeded the progress of people from Asia to North America. | ||
| It was a huge, like the biggest bear, like as big as a Kodiak grizzly. | ||
| So that these enormous bears, flathead bear, short-faced bear, that's it. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Look at the size of this fucking thing. | ||
| I mean, this is an absolutely enormous bear that was the apex predator of North America that went extinct. | ||
| Look at the size of it. | ||
| Look how big they were. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I mean, it's a fucking monstrous, monstrous predatory animal. | ||
| And that this animal was the preeminent predator of North America. | ||
| And what year was that? | ||
| Not that long ago. | ||
| I mean, while humans were alive, for sure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Find out when it went extinct. | ||
| 11,000 years ago. | ||
| That ain't shit. | ||
| That's nothing. | ||
| That ain't shit. | ||
| So that would also be, especially if it, like the black bear and like many grizzlies, walks on two legs. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So if that thing was out there walking around on two legs, that would, you know, Native Americans. | ||
| 11,000 years ago? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Native Americans have some weird relationships with bears, too. | ||
| It's one of the few animals that they refuse to hunt. | ||
| They don't hunt them. | ||
| And a lot of the First Nation people up in Canada, like I have a buddy of mine who lives up in Canada, and he hunts bears, and he trades with First Nation people. | ||
| They won't hunt bears, but they want bear fat for their medicine, and they use it to make pies and a bunch of different things. | ||
| You know, like bear lard is like very prized, but they won't hunt bears themselves. | ||
| Weird religious stuff, like weird cultural stuff. | ||
| They believe that it's like an ancestor that's come back. | ||
| They have some interesting ideas about bears. | ||
| Their ancestors are delicious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, they taste good if they eat the right foods. | ||
| If you find a bear that's a coastal bear that's been eating a lot of salmon, they're not fun to eat. | ||
| Because they eat a lot of rotten fish, and they taste terrible, apparently. | ||
| But the bears that I've eaten have only been the ones that live in these dense woods, and their diet's primarily berries. | ||
| What part of the country? | ||
| Alberta. | ||
| That's where you go, bear? | ||
| Yeah, northern Alberta. | ||
| Mostly what they're eating is berries, and each other, unfortunately. | ||
| Really? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| That's one of the big things about bears, is that, especially the males, which is the ones you go after and kill, they eat cubs. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, like all of them do. | ||
| It's like one of the main things they go looking for once they come out of hibernation. | ||
| Wow, all apologies to my dad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It could have been a lot worse. | ||
| It could have been a lot worse. | ||
| And there's two theories about that. | ||
| I couldn't have another Bobby if I tried. | ||
| I'm so full. | ||
| Yeah, it's awful. | ||
| It happened when we were there two years ago. | ||
| One of the guys who was a guide there saw... | ||
| We saw two bears fight. | ||
| I saw it in my own eyes. | ||
| A bear trying to kill this female's cubs and she fought him off. | ||
| And she kept fighting him off and he kept coming in. | ||
| She kept fighting him off. | ||
| Meanwhile, her babies were up in trees. | ||
| The babies ran up in trees. | ||
| Like, we were watching her move around, and she was kind of aware of us, but we were far enough away from her where, and we weren't moving, where she didn't think we were a threat. | ||
| But then all of a sudden, the baby bears, they piped up, and they fucking just ran up a tree. | ||
| And we were like, what the fuck's going on? | ||
| And this big male bear came in, and the two of them just started duking it out. | ||
| And they were like, it was like a UFC fight 50 yards away between these two bears. | ||
| I mean, they're going to war. | ||
| It was crazy, right? | ||
| It was really fascinating. | ||
| It was too dark even for us to shoot the big male bear Because it was just it was wasn't enough visibility wouldn't be ethical to do but it was fascinating to watch like she was protecting her babies from predation from another bear and she and she Scared it up. | ||
| Yes, but here's what happened Not with this bear, but in the same time we were there, one bear came in and one of the guides saw it happen, got a hold of one of the cubs, killed it in front of everybody, was eating it. | ||
| Then she chased him off, and then she finished her own cub. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| It's a hardscrabble world up there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Living in the woods of northern Canada. | ||
| It's no joke. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, it's no joke. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It's scary shit. | ||
| And so that's the reality of these animals. | ||
| And the population up there is insane. | ||
| There are so many of them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| When people think, like, they think, oh, you're killing bears. | ||
| Why would you kill bears? | ||
| There's not even that many bears. | ||
| You're going to... | ||
| Go to Alberta. | ||
| There's a lot of fucking bears. | ||
| They're all over the place. | ||
| It's not uncommon on a day up there to see 18 bears. | ||
| We've seen more than that on other days. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| You always see bears. | ||
| You always see them. | ||
| When you go hunting for bears, the success rate is very high, and the population is very high. | ||
| They encourage it. | ||
| They want you to kill two large males. | ||
| They give you a tag to kill two of them because they're killing all of these fawns. | ||
| They're killing moose calves, elk calves, and deer fawns. | ||
| They wipe out more than 50% of all the baby moose, baby deer, and baby elk. | ||
| Moose. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you ever see them? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's a moose. | ||
| That is... | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, that's a juvenile moose. | ||
| Yeah, that's a... | ||
| Yeah, they're huge. | ||
| That was huge. | ||
| That thing was 900 pounds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| Like, none of this sets me off. | ||
| And, you know, and I said... | ||
| Because, I mean, this is what I grew up with. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| There was always... | ||
| There was... | ||
| I remember once my brother... | ||
| You know, he would clean the deer in the garage, and he had this idea that he was going to take the skin off, so he sliced the, you know, he was going to peel the skin off of the deer. | ||
| With a truck? | ||
| His Volkswagen. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So he hooked it up, and then it just snapped him. | ||
| Hooked the deer in half? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| Oh, God. | ||
| That's dark. | ||
| Dark, yeah. | ||
| Maybe that's why I'm a vegan. | ||
| And I'm a tiny little boy. | ||
| It's like Tommy's in the garage dismantling Rudolph with his Volkswagen bug. | ||
| I had this conversation with these guys from this documentary, Cowspiracy, and it was all really heavy, and it's really about factory farming, which I think is disgusting, and I think pretty much everybody does, and the ag-gag laws, which are even more disgusting, which are these laws that are in place to keep you from taking video footage of any atrocities. | ||
| And then I went home, and I turned on that Steve Rinella guy's show, And he was showing how to butcher a deer. | ||
| And one of the ways they did it was they take a rock and they wrap the hide up in this rock and then tie it off. | ||
| And then tie that rope on that rock to a truck. | ||
| And then pull it. | ||
| And it just looks so fucked up. | ||
| This deer hanging by its haunches. | ||
| And then they just strip the skin off of it like a sheet. | ||
| Is it safe? | ||
| Is it safe? | ||
| And then they're cutting it up and slicing it and turning it into roasts and chops and steaks and hamburger meat. | ||
| It's just the cold reality of what meat is and where it comes from. | ||
| Which has escaped us. | ||
| It has left the consciousness of most people who eat meat. | ||
| They don't experience it. | ||
| They don't see it. | ||
| It's one of the things that's insidious about a lack of information. | ||
| Because a lack of information changes the actual context. | ||
| It changes what a thing is to you. | ||
| It's one of the things I think is really devious about what the Bush administration did when they passed laws that kept people from taking photographs of coffins. | ||
| Just coffins. | ||
| They made a law against press taking photographs. | ||
| Which is crazy. | ||
| Because they're filtering and controlling the narrative so much that you can't even see an American flag draped coffin. | ||
| It's very dark. | ||
| Because then war in your mind. | ||
| I remember when that happened. | ||
| Yeah, war in your mind only means war if you lost your friend, or if you lost your husband, or if you lost your wife. | ||
| Then it becomes war. | ||
| But if it's just somebody you don't even know, then it allows you to just keep going on about your business. | ||
| And it's a number, and it's just a number, and it's very, yeah. | ||
| I mean, what... | ||
| One of the things that got us out of Vietnam was the footage that was on the news every night when you're having dinner. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And that was what ended it. | |
| I mean, what do I know? | ||
| But that felt like what ended it to me. | ||
| Well, look, here we are. | ||
| It's 15 years later. | ||
| We're still in Afghanistan. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why? | ||
| And there's never any footage. | ||
| Never. | ||
| And when I was a kid... | ||
| You have to search for it. | ||
| When I was a kid, that was what was on during the news while we're having dinner. | ||
| And that was what I saw my parents turn, you know. | ||
| My parents went from cursing hippies and war protesters to going to the other side. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That must have been interesting. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I watched it, you know. | ||
| And so... | ||
| Yeah, the fact that I remember when that happened, it was crazy. | ||
| But I think the new administration is going to fix everything. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Especially if Trump wins. | ||
| Yeah, I'm very excited about that. | ||
| If Hillary Clinton wins, it's going to be all different, folks. | ||
| It's not going to be business as usual. | ||
| It's not going to be just politics. | ||
| It's not going to be about money controlling politics. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| I don't care where she gets her money from. | ||
| Dude, she's got ethics. | ||
| She's got morals. | ||
| Those bankers, they could pay her hundreds of thousands of dollars. | ||
| She's going to tell them off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It is an insane camp. | ||
| I've never seen anything like this. | ||
| I'm 53 years old. | ||
| It's the most insane, right? | ||
| Barry must be loving it. | ||
| You know what's funny? | ||
| It's Godfather 3, because Barry was out, you know? | ||
| And they dragged him back in. | ||
| You know, it's so crazy that he had to get back in. | ||
| I know, he was like up in the woods. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| Isn't it great? | ||
| It's kind of funny. | ||
| So we all get a gift from that. | ||
| But it highlights how ridiculous the system is, that this is all it needs. | ||
| You just need the public's attention. | ||
| Yeah, and the fact that it's not one man, one vote. | ||
| Well, there's a whole lot of that, but there's also, like, what has our society become? | ||
| Our society's become this crazy thing where we pay attention to whatever spectacles on the news. | ||
| Well, that spectacle is now a guy who's running for president with plastic hair. | ||
| That guy, this reality star, you're fired! | ||
| You know, those Mexicans are gonna build us a wall! | ||
|
unidentified
|
The wall just got ten foot higher! | |
| Now the morons are fucking up in arms, like, we got a king! | ||
| We're gonna fucking take over! | ||
| It's exciting! | ||
| White people are very excited, too. | ||
| White men. | ||
| Let's make America white again. | ||
| White men and mean ladies. | ||
| There's a lot of mean ladies that like Trump. | ||
| All buttoned down, angry faces, thin lips like this. | ||
| It's also interesting to the Republicans trying to knock out him, which is crazy, too. | ||
| What can they do? | ||
| I mean, what do they have left? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| No one else is running. | ||
| Yeah, Mitt didn't work. | ||
| They have nothing now. | ||
| Nobody's ever said, quick, give me a Mormon. | ||
| Did you hear about the guy who was writing a blogger, who was writing a piece about Ted Cruz's connection, his father's connection to the death of Lee Harvey Oswald? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| That apparently Ted Cruz's father was involved in some way with the death of Lee Harvey Oswald. | ||
| Not only that, he may have played a part in the assassination attempt. | ||
| With President Kennedy. | ||
| He might have had a part in the assassination of President Kennedy. | ||
| Ted Cruz's fucking dad. | ||
| So Ted Cruz's dad has some sort of connection to Jack Ruby? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And has some sort of a connection with the people that were rebelling against the Batista regime. | ||
| And, like, a lot of his story, apparently, is bullshit. | ||
| And, like, people who have looked into it, it's one of the things they were looking into while he was running for president. | ||
| They're like, his dad, it doesn't... | ||
| The story of his dad, his dad came over on a raft with $100 sewn into his underwear. | ||
| He had one of those stories. | ||
| And he made it with good old-fashioned American ingenuity. | ||
| Apparently not. | ||
| Apparently he was, like, a rebel. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And he may have played a part in the death of Lee Harvey Oswald. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, there was a guy who was writing a story about it, and he wound up dead. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And, you know, the guy even wrote, hey, if I'm not around anymore, you know, this is what happened, and this is the story, but... | ||
| People do that kind of shit before they kill themselves. | ||
| That's part of the problem, because they think there's a real story, and one of the things, they're all depressed, and they think, one of the things that I'm going to do, I'm going to make this story happen, I'm going to blow my brains out, and they're going to think that, you know, they're going to look into this, because they're going to think that I was whacked by the man, like, as if anybody is running around killing people over Lee Harvey Oswald's death today. | ||
| What's that, Jamie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
These are the photos that they found of. | |
| Of Ted Cruz's dad? | ||
| Yeah, this guy in the white shirt here. | ||
| That's Ted Cruz's dad. | ||
| This was an unidentified man from the Warren Commission, so they think that that's him. | ||
| Oh, he looks like a Cuban fella. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, there's a couple pictures of it, but that's the link. | |
| Most likely. | ||
| I'm going with that. | ||
| I'm going to run with it. | ||
| That's him today. | ||
| Well, apparently his story doesn't add up. | ||
| When they check out his history, when he says he got here, when he actually was here, there's a lot of funky business. | ||
| And by the way, I have a fucking very, very shallow knowledge of this story. | ||
| I leafed over it today. | ||
| Cruz responds, yes, my dad killed JFK, secret Eli Elvis, and Jimmy Hoffa's buried in his backyard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha, ha, ha, ha. | |
| Ty Cruise got sunk by that video that showed the outtakes of him making one of those videos. | ||
| Did you see that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| With the family and his mom and everything. | ||
| Oh, fantastic. | ||
| One of them was like, my mom prays for me, oftentimes hours a day. | ||
| And she went like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
And they showed the footage of his mom like, what? | |
| If I don't fucking pray for you hours a day, what am I, crazy? | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| They made them do take after take. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| It was like so fake. | ||
| Oh, this is great. | ||
| It's so fake. | ||
| We can't hear it without the headset on. | ||
| There's his dad. | ||
| He killed JFK. That's what I heard. | ||
| Want to hear it? | ||
| Here, put the headset on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Earlier this year, the Cruz campaign posted hours of this footage on YouTube. | |
| By law, campaigns can't coordinate with super PACs, so many quietly post raw videos like this on public websites as a way to share material legally. | ||
| But it lets us take a rare peek behind the scenes at the strange world of political ad making. | ||
| Give me a couple lines from Green Exit. | ||
| That's too personal, Ted. | ||
| I don't want to tell that. | ||
| I do like it. | ||
| I'll like it in a box. | ||
| I'll like it in a goat. | ||
| I'll like it. | ||
| I want to tell that, and you're the best person to tell that. | ||
| Well, there's some very personal details that I don't want to go into. | ||
| I don't like it. | ||
| I'm Sam. | ||
| I am. | ||
| I am. | ||
| I'm Sam. | ||
| You don't have to go into it. | ||
| Tell me. | ||
| When Ted was three... | ||
| Look at me. | ||
| I need the book if you want to give me specific lines. | ||
| Not a day goes by that my mom is not lifting me up in prayer. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| For hours. | ||
| At a time. | ||
| Our family has actually made a difference in impact in our country today. | ||
| Am I supposed to say, like, the same type? | ||
| My family background is that my grandfather was a missionary in Africa for about 40 years. | ||
| I don't know what else to say. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Just keep talking. | ||
| Just keep talking. | ||
| Look at the kid. | ||
| Poor kid. | ||
| My fucking crazy dad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
My brother thinks too much. | |
| I can't get his gig down. | ||
| He doesn't live there. | ||
| It seems like everything is staged. | ||
| Even hugs. | ||
| I'm proud of you, Joey. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Who's that guy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love you, too. | |
| I love you, dear. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| Oh, fake. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| I killed JFK. He got it right in his ear. | ||
| That's what I heard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is the same as what we're talking about. | |
| Line. | ||
| Yeah, this is Bigfoot. | ||
| I love you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Line. | |
| This might as well be Bigfoot. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| They're sitting around at the dinner table. | ||
| Just didn't even know a camera was there. | ||
| Camera just caught us. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Let's hold hands in prayer. | ||
| Dear magic man in the sky, who doesn't like gay people, let's make sure that our food has all been blessed. | ||
| This is just a casual, uh, you know, we say grace. | ||
| First we lay the dolly track out. | ||
| First of all, why are you pretending this is your fucking kitchen table, bitch? | ||
| You know you got some nice house. | ||
| You got cash. | ||
| You're not living a simple, humble life, you fuck. | ||
| We were looking at, before you got here, something that I forgot about. | ||
| Can we play that? | ||
| What? | ||
| I forgot about this, and recently I was doing a show, a stand-up show, and the guy in the booth played it, Avery, and in my mind it was lot, lot, it was way more chill. | ||
| Arsenio Hall got cancelled, and this is footage of me going on the show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What I want to know is, do I still have to keep kissing your ass? | |
| This is after he's cancelled? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why make it easier for the next guy? | |
| Are you really quitting? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| - Come on, let's cut this right now. - He spray painted on his set. | ||
| Yeah, it's... | ||
| What are you saying? | ||
| Paramount. | ||
| Paramount sucks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't even remember this. | |
| Now, nobody stopped you, so did they not know you were doing it? | ||
| No, they did not know I was going to do this. | ||
| Oh, did they know you had a can in your pocket? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| After this, I would start getting patted down when I did shows. | ||
| And this is before you lit the Tonight Show on fire. | ||
| So you threw couch cushions into the audience? | ||
| Watch this, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is... | |
| Oh my god, you took a monitor and smashed it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| That's a $3,000 monitor. | ||
| Did they charge you for that? | ||
| No, they were nice. | ||
| Leno charged me for the chair. | ||
| He did? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How much did he charge you for the chair? | ||
| It was like 500 bucks or something like that. | ||
| Oh my god, dude. | ||
| You're going crazy. | ||
| This is so punk rock. | ||
| Look at Arsenio stepping in and trying to stop you. | ||
| But he's laughing while he's doing it. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| But here's a funny one. | ||
| Oh, this is hilarious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Flipping over the couch. | |
| Shit. | ||
| I like how you kept your hat on the entire time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, there you go. | |
| You say I'm bald. | ||
| Here's what's funny. | ||
| Oh yeah, okay, stop here. | ||
| But they just, when they broadcasted, they put this logo up. | ||
| Yeah, that's... | ||
| Oh, that's funny. | ||
| But so, when they broadcasted, they put that logo up because the director at the time just had this loving shot push into Paramount Sucks. | ||
| Oh, that's funny. | ||
| That was what they had a problem with. | ||
| But when he wrestled me down, he actually, he whispers into my ear as they're going to commercial. | ||
| so he goes thanks man so then yeah then Leno booked me like four days Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| And you lit his set on fire. | ||
| Yeah, he's like... | ||
| Because you thought, like, that's what they want. | ||
| I was just... | ||
| I was more angry, I think, at Jay. | ||
| But, yeah, he's like, so, you know, what happened over on Athenio? | ||
| And I go, what are you angry at Jay for? | ||
| I eat my ego and fear. | ||
| He suddenly was having me on the show. | ||
| I was going on the show and people seemed like they liked me. | ||
| And the idea of being accepted on such a mass level was terrifying. | ||
| And I think I resented him because even though he's older than me, I've been doing comedy almost the same amount of time. | ||
| And he was always kind of always like doling out a vice. | ||
| And it's like, well, I don't want to have your career. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's like, I'm a man and I make my decisions. | ||
| I just do a different kind of comedy as you. | ||
| I'm not criticizing the kind of comedy you guys do. | ||
| There was all those sweater acts back then. | ||
| And I don't regret it, but I do think it was kind of an asshole move to Jay. | ||
| It was an aggressive move. | ||
| And I apologized to him later on, years later. | ||
| I was being nasty. | ||
| Where Jay belongs is what he's doing now. | ||
| Like doing that car show. | ||
| He's fucking great at it. | ||
| He's great on it. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| He's a different guy. | ||
| Well, but he's a funny guy. | ||
| On Letterman, you mean? | ||
| He would crush. | ||
| He would crush. | ||
| Um, I haven't seen the car show and stuff. | ||
| Well, a lot of comics felt betrayed because he was this guy who was kind of like the hip smart voice of like mocking a lot of the stupid shit that we saw in the world. | ||
| And then all of a sudden he gets this tonight show gig and he becomes Mr. Living Room. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he was, he went from, yeah, I mean, it looks like I'm peeing fire there actually. | ||
| So he's got this show now. | ||
| I think it's funny, like, in my memory, I was like, it was just a little fire, but that's a pretty good-sized flame. | ||
| People could have died, for sure. | ||
| See, this is, because I have lighter fluid, that's what made it arson, because it was premeditated. | ||
| Ah, premeditated. | ||
| As opposed to you being in the moment. | ||
| Well, I mean, if I just set it on fire with a lighter, then, yeah, that's why it was arson. | ||
| But anyway, his show that he's doing now, it's like something that he actually cares about. | ||
| And we talked about it. | ||
| I had him on the podcast, and he was like, yeah, I mean, I would have these, you know, he couldn't pick who was on The Tonight Show. | ||
| So they would put people on, like, from reality shows, and he'd be like, he'd have to say, so, are you and her ever going to get married, or what's going to happen? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's the nature of that. | ||
| I think Letterman made a decision after some days, I think I'm paraphrasing, but someone said, who was on the show tonight? | ||
| And he was like, I don't know. | ||
| And then he was like, I gotta... | ||
| Yeah, that was when he decided to retire. | ||
| Like, he couldn't remember. | ||
| I get that. | ||
| When I used to direct The Kimmel Show, someone would say, who was on last night? | ||
| And I couldn't remember. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because it's a grind. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Yeah, it's a weird gig. | ||
| I'm always fascinated by the ego of the guy. | ||
| Remember the guy who tried to blackmail Letterman? | ||
| Yes, yeah. | ||
| Well, he was fucking the guy's girlfriend or whatever it was. | ||
| Letterman had had some sort of relationship, and now this guy has a relationship. | ||
| My, you know, my take on it was this guy couldn't get past that she used to bang Letterman. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| There's probably some of that. | ||
| And he was going through a bad divorce, so he's like, I got this thing, I'm going to blackmail Letterman and let his current girlfriend, the woman who became his wife, about this, he's going to blow up the whole thing. | ||
| And I love that Letterman, what the guy never, ever, ever thought of, what if the guy just does the right thing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Letterman just said, hey, you know, this happened. | ||
| It went on TV. Yeah, it was beautiful. | ||
| And it didn't become a story like the way it normally would. | ||
| And he didn't do that bullshit, fake, I did something wrong. | ||
| He said, this is between my wife and I, but someone's blackmailing. | ||
| I mean, just, you know, because I always... | ||
| That faux apology is really strange, like, for nothing. | ||
| You know, like, when Hugh Grant apologized, he said, well, I did a bad thing. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Well, did you? | ||
| And would... | ||
| If you hadn't been arrested, would you have said, hey, I did a bad thing last night. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I didn't get arrested or anything, but you guys should know I picked up a hooker. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
| What are you apologizing for? | ||
| But Letterman didn't do a faux apology. | ||
| He just did the right thing. | ||
| And the guy's life came down like a house of cards. | ||
| And I think... | ||
| He was in jail. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I think as a young man, you can't get past your partner's history. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And this guy... | ||
| I just think... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| There's something really poetic. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm fascinated by the story. | ||
| Because the twist is all David Letterman did was the right thing. | ||
| And that was shocking to this guy and almost to our society. | ||
| We couldn't do anything with it. | ||
| We couldn't exploit it. | ||
| Couldn't sell People magazine when somebody's just square. | ||
| He also did it the way he confessed on television. | ||
| He did it like a David Letterman conversation. | ||
| Well, um... | ||
| I was having sex with someone who worked with me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And everybody's like, what the fuck is he doing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love it! | |
| We spend so much time on all this trying to manage stuff instead of actually owning something. | ||
| Instead of saying, this is what I did. | ||
| This is what I did wrong. | ||
| It's really none of your business. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it's like when we catch someone lying about something and then they're deceptive, that's when people get really into something. | ||
| But when someone comes out and just owns it, like Charlie Sheen. | ||
| Charlie Sheen, when he went on all these shows, he said, yeah, I smoke rocks. | ||
| That's what you do. | ||
| I smoke all this coke, because that's how I roll, baby. | ||
| Everybody's like, I fucking love this guy. | ||
| But meanwhile, if someone had footage of him smoking crack and out there banging hookers, people would be like, oh my god, his career is over. | ||
| Yeah, and he would say, I gotta put a spin on this. | ||
| Yeah, there would be some sort of recovery. | ||
| What's really interesting is the Charlie Sheen thing, we're finding out that the whole tailspin that he went through in like 2012 was because he found out he had HIV. That's really part of what this all was about. | ||
| And that's what the most recent blackmail attempts against him was. | ||
| Apparently he's paid millions of dollars to quiet this down. | ||
| And he had all these sexual partners and didn't tell them, I guess. | ||
| So there's all sorts of other lawsuits and all sorts of craziness involved. | ||
| But that's what set him off and what made him say, fuck it. | ||
| I'm just going to go out and tell everybody everything. | ||
| And it was because he had HIV. It's really nuts. | ||
| I was thinking of someone else's story at the same time. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think we're just so used to this filter that when someone is just generally honest and saying that that is actually the most powerful thing and it takes all the sting out. | ||
| There's no gossip. | ||
| You say, yeah, I did this. | ||
| I think people are way more concerned with deception than they are with folly. | ||
| They're way more concerned with deception than they are with people fucking up, with people making mistakes. | ||
| Well, I think it's funny when people will talk. | ||
| I mean, not that it was a big deal that I set the Leno show on fire, but people now will come up to me and say, they'll be like, Or stories appear that say I was banned from The Tonight Show. | ||
| And it's like, no, I wasn't. | ||
| You made that step. | ||
| I was on a week later. | ||
| You decided that. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| And that's a common thing in bios of me. | ||
| I see people saying that I was banned from The Tonight Show. | ||
| I was banned for a whole seven days. | ||
| You lit it on fire, and then a week later you came back and would just say, hey, man, I'm really... | ||
| No, we did a bit, you know. | ||
| Of you lighting you on a fire again? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| He had me back on the show and he had me buried in dirt up to my neck. | ||
| It was funny, you know? | ||
| So, it's like, no, that didn't happen. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Just, you made the next step. | ||
| Yeah, it's a common thing. | ||
| I think we can connect that to Bigfoot. | ||
| People, they just make shit up. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Alright. | ||
| What do you want me to do? | ||
| I don't want you to say anything, man. | ||
| I don't want you to say anything. | ||
| Look, like I said, I would lose sleep for days if Bigfoot turned out to be true. | ||
| I'd be so happy. | ||
| But I'll say this, then that's good. | ||
| Look, if someone hit one with a car, and it died, and they had definitive proof that there is a real gigantopithecus, and you see some fucking, you know, land cruiser that's smashed by some gigantic ape that just wandered out of the forest, holy shit, I'd be happy. | ||
| I'd be so happy. | ||
| A despondent one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, not even if it was- No, no. | ||
| I just jumped in front of a truck. | ||
| Going through a bad breakup. | ||
| You made Jamie laugh out loud. | ||
| I could honestly say it would be one of the happiest moments of my life if they found a Bigfoot, if they captured a Bigfoot. | ||
| I mean, if we were watching on television and we were seeing some footage from some containment area where they had these giant steel bars like Kong and they had this huge... | ||
| Ten foot tall wandering gorilla. | ||
| I like your Harry and the Hendersons one better. | ||
| Which one was that? | ||
| It just gets hit by a car. | ||
| Is that what happened in Harry and the Hendersons? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| But I much rather have that than this animal sadly captured. | ||
| One of my favorite hoax stories is a guy in Montana put a ghillie suit on and tried to fake that he was Bigfoot. | ||
| And one teenager ran him over one way and another teenager ran him over the other way. | ||
| So he got hit on one side, blam, on one side of the road, then another teenager the other way ran him over. | ||
| Which is hilarious. | ||
| And then, you know, it's like, well, he died doing what he loves. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That funeral had to be the Chuckles, the clown, the Mary Tyler Moore. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| He was dressed up trying to fake out people. | ||
| On meth, wearing a ghillie suit, hanging on the side of the road. | ||
| Bigfoot! | ||
| This is going to be funny. | ||
| Blam! | ||
| The girl ran him over. | ||
| She saw Bigfoot, she just turned the wheel towards him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm gonna be rich! | |
| Bam! | ||
| I think, well, when we find Bigfoot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When? | |
| When. | ||
| So much confidence. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'll be back on. | ||
| You know, they're talking about using drones, sending drones over the skies. | ||
| Well, you know that. | ||
| The canopy wouldn't... | ||
| Yeah, you wouldn't be able to see shit. | ||
| Yeah, that's ridiculous. | ||
| That's the only, the most compelling thing about it is that you just, the territory's so dense. | ||
| It's so huge. | ||
| But there's nothing, man. | ||
| They don't even have a hair. | ||
| Not a single piece of evidence. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Did you ever see the, do you know about Jimmy Stewart's wife? | ||
| Jimmy Stewart the comedian? | ||
| Jimmy Stewart the actor. | ||
| Famous actor, comic actor? | ||
| His wife smuggled a Yeti finger out of there in her underpants. | ||
| What? | ||
| Out of the Himalayas. | ||
| She put it in her pussy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that what you're saying? | |
| No, no. | ||
| She put it in her underpants. | ||
| Why would she put it in her underpants? | ||
| Oh, in the back. | ||
| No, she wasn't wearing the underpants. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was on the side. | |
| It was like her luggage and she had like... | ||
| I was so confused. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Imagine what she smelled like after she got home. | |
| That's hers? | ||
| Well, a piece of this finger... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
| What is that? | ||
| And she smuggled it... | ||
| Yeti researcher Peter Byrne learned of the Yeti hand and scalp on display at a remote Buddhist monastery. | ||
| Yeah, but when they do tests... | ||
| None other than Hollywood actor Jimmy Stewart. | ||
| Yeah, his wife smuggled it. | ||
| No, and then recently there's been a DNA study, and it's not a Yeti. | ||
| It was... | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is it? | |
| It's a Buddhist monk's hand. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a dude. | |
| Yeah, but I'm more fascinated about Jimmy Stewart's wife smuggling what she thought was a Yeti. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And Jimmy Stewart was part of it. | ||
| Well, how big was the fucking hand? | ||
| Was Lauren Coleman involved in this? | ||
| You know how goddamn big a Yeti's hands would be? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Well, this monk, he had big hands. | ||
| Well, that was another thing about the Yeti. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A huge cock. | |
| Hold on, look at this, Jamie. | ||
| Google this. | ||
| There was a... | ||
| They found one of the reasons why... | ||
| People saw a Yeti, is that there was a bear in the Himalayas that was thought to be long extinct, and it turns out that it may not be. | ||
| And it was a different kind of Eurasian bear, some large bear. | ||
| Is it a white bear? | ||
| I mean, is it like a polar bear? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But, you know, look, when you're looking at things in the snow... | ||
| This was fascinating to me once. | ||
| I was in the woods with these guys, and we're looking at trail cam footage. | ||
| And it almost looks like a weasel. | ||
| It's called a Merit. | ||
| And it was supposed to be extinct. | ||
| And so this guy's showing me this footage. | ||
| And he shows, well, yeah, this is a Merit. | ||
| There hasn't been one in 50 years. | ||
| And he goes, but take a look at the snow. | ||
| He buries the lead and he goes, this looks like a footprint. | ||
| He clicks past it. | ||
| It's like, dude, you found... | ||
| He's showing me all this footage. | ||
| So he found an extinct animal. | ||
| Yeah, this must be extinct. | ||
| Yeah, it's a merit. | ||
| And then he click, click, click, click. | ||
| Take a look at this. | ||
| We're looking at a footprint in snow and not concentrating on the fact that he found an extinct animal. | ||
| Swear to God. | ||
| I was like, you're burying the lead. | ||
| You found an animal that was supposed to be dead. | ||
| But we're looking at what might be Bigfoot Duke. | ||
| But did he absolutely, positively identify that as a merit, though? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow, so this was like huge news then. | ||
| He didn't seem to give a rat's ass. | ||
| So did he report it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He did. | ||
| So now they know this animal isn't extinct. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Well, there's been some cases of that before. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But you know what I mean? | |
| Oh, that happens a lot. | ||
| But I mean, my point is, this is the thing. | ||
| As much as I love the Bigfoot community, I don't know if you've ever gone and tried to get them to talk about anything else. | ||
| They don't talk about anything else. | ||
| They can't. | ||
| It's all of a sudden, it's really weird. | ||
| If you bring up something and say, hey, did you guys see the new Avengers movie? | ||
| Well, it's so compelling to them because this is this thing that they've been searching with no reward. | ||
| There's no reward and they keep looking and it never happens. | ||
| Well, there's the women. | ||
| The Bigfoot community women? | ||
| Yeah, you know. | ||
| Are there like groupies? | ||
| No. | ||
| In the Bigfoot community? | ||
| I told the women that went with me. | ||
| I said, really, you know, just no necklines. | ||
| You guys aren't going to get out of there alive. | ||
| You got to burk it up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I really did. | ||
| I said, you haven't gotten into one of these before. | ||
| I don't want to see anyone's figures. | ||
| What is the most compelling thing to you? | ||
| Is it eyewitness evidence? | ||
| I love that. | ||
| I love that even if someone's lying to me. | ||
| If that's the case. | ||
| Listening to someone telling me a story that That they believe is true. | ||
| I don't think it's someone lying to me. | ||
| It's my favorite part of finding Bigfoot, when they go to some town community, some community in some small town, and they start talking to them in the community center and asking them, how many of you here have had a Bigfoot encounter? | ||
| And they know the camera's there, so they're all like... | ||
| They all raised their hand. | ||
| When we were doing this thing, I was doing this thing for CBS. It's called Game Show in my head, and what it was is it was a game show. | ||
| We would put this little earpiece in people, and the game shows, we would send them out into a pre... | ||
| We created this scenario. | ||
| They didn't know what it was going to be until they got out there. | ||
| So they'd be standing there, and then I'd say, all right, here's the deal. | ||
| You are a news reporter, and you have been sent here to do a report on someone who has seen a UFO. The problem is that person took off. | ||
| So you need to find a person on the street that will admit that they saw a UFO and they have to tell you that they were taken aboard that UFO and probed. | ||
| If you can get someone to do that on camera, you'll win. | ||
| And you make the money. | ||
| Because it was like a series of tasks they had to do. | ||
| They all did it. | ||
| Everybody they asked did it. | ||
| They all fucking did it. | ||
| And I was watching these people, and that was the first straw in what broke the camel's back to me, that a lot of these stories are bullshit. | ||
| Because I was watching these people come up with these fucking stories on the fly. | ||
| They weren't actors. | ||
| They weren't alerted of it in advance where they prepared a story. | ||
| They just, hey, I'm in a bind. | ||
| I'm a reporter. | ||
| We were sent down here. | ||
| And these people just ran with it. | ||
| Years ago, Tom Kenny did that for... | ||
| He would ask people... | ||
| He was doing the same thing, saying that there's this new movie coming out starring Danny DeVito. | ||
| And he would just keep piling on. | ||
| And they'd go, oh, Danny is so funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, it's his mother dies. | |
| It's so sad seeing Danny defeated him. | ||
| Oh, they would just change it? | ||
| Oh, they would, yeah. | ||
| If people find out that they're going to be interviewed and they find out that they're on camera, they will do all kinds of crazy things to comply with whatever the narrative is. | ||
| It's real weird, man. | ||
| And so when you're interviewing people and ask them about UFOs or ask them about Bigfoot, just the camera and the fact that you're filming alone, it changes the reality of whatever their story would or wouldn't be. | ||
| It changes. | ||
| It gets adjusted. | ||
| It becomes a giant factor in whatever the story is, the fact that there's a camera on them. | ||
| Well, I believe on the other side of things, after doing Call Me Lucky, I learned a lot about, and you probably know this obviously already, most people want to tell you their story. | ||
| And most people, do you know what I mean? | ||
| You don't even have to do too much... | ||
| You don't have to make someone uncomfortable. | ||
| You don't have to even be probing too much. | ||
| Most people do want to be heard. | ||
| Most people will tell you really personal things. | ||
| I'm not talking about Barry, but I'm talking about the other folks that supported the movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And I learned when I was doing that doc that the key was that I had to shut up and I had to listen, which as a nightclub comedian was really hard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| How about that? | ||
| I gotta wrap up. | ||
| I was up one morning. | ||
| But let me just bring up this topic. | ||
| You're on the road a lot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When guys come in, and women, they come in the green room, and you're in their club, you're in their hometown, and there's a whole bunch of local guys, and they're nice and stuff. | ||
| But when they start talking about stand-up, does it bore you to tears, or are you engaged in it? | ||
| It really depends. | ||
| Who's coming in the green room? | ||
| Other comics? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| They want to come up and they want to start talking to me about comedy and talking smack about other comics. | ||
| And I'm like, if you have any idea how much I'm checked out right now. | ||
| Well, for me, the real problem is green rooms before a show, I'm trying to get my head together. | ||
| I'm not really into talking to anybody. | ||
| I'm into going over my notes and I want to do a good show. | ||
| So if someone comes in and they get in the way, that's my prep time. | ||
| Well, you actually say, hey man, step out. | ||
| I don't usually have very many people come to visit me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| I'm always hosting this thing. | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| And I'm always just like, I will talk about anything other than that. | ||
| And I shouldn't admit this publicly, but when people come up to me and they bring up Police Academy, I swear to God, often... | ||
| Often I'm thinking of committing harikari while they're talking to me. | ||
| And I'm not even kidding you. | ||
| I say, oh, that's great. | ||
| How old were you when you saw it? | ||
| And I'm just thinking that I'm... | ||
| And I'm pulling my entrails out under their shoes. | ||
| That's the thought that carries you through the conversation? | ||
| Yeah, it makes me laugh. | ||
| I'm thinking, yeah. | ||
| I'm thinking, oh, that's great. | ||
| I'm glad you... | ||
| Oh, I'm glad you liked it. | ||
| I'm just thinking that I'm pulling my small intestine all over their feet. | ||
| Yeah, you just gotta eat it. | ||
| Well, we all do. | ||
| We all have that. | ||
| Yeah, me, it's Fear Factor. | ||
| Fear Factor. | ||
| People start talking to me about Fear Factor. | ||
| And you're polite? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, cool, man. | ||
| Thanks. | ||
| I'm glad you like the show. | ||
| But then after a while, you're like... | ||
| Yeah, a lot of people, it's like when they were kids. | ||
| They were like in high school and they were a fear factor. | ||
| For me, they told me how tall they were. | ||
| I was this big. | ||
| Why would I give a fuck about how tall you were when you watch Police Academy? | ||
| Why? | ||
| What? | ||
| Do you like talking to comics peers about stand-up? | ||
| Like if you run into someone who's like... | ||
| No, I just find it... | ||
|
unidentified
|
You still like talking about it? | |
| Yeah, it's like talking about fucking. | ||
| You don't like talking about the creative process or writing or roadblocks or motivation or anything like that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| You still like talking about it? | ||
| It's just... | ||
| It's this thing, and I don't feel like gossiping about it. | ||
| I like telling stories. | ||
| I love hearing funny stories back and forth. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| A lot of laughs. | ||
| But dissecting comedy for some reason is so uninteresting to me. | ||
| Well, you know, it's understandable. | ||
| I mean, would you start in like 81 or something like that? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I started when I was 15 and 16. I got on Letterman when I was 20. How old was... | ||
| I mean, what year was that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was probably like 82. Yeah, think about that, man. | |
| That is a long fucking time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, it only makes sense that you would be bored with it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you still enjoy doing it. | ||
| I do. | ||
| See, so... | ||
| But I started to like it when I jettisoned the persona. | ||
| I even remember that. | ||
| Like, I thought I hated... | ||
| I thought I hated the Wacky Morning Shows and, you know, Taint and Teabag in the Morning, and I thought I hated, you know... | ||
| All that stuff and the clubs and this and that. | ||
| And I was just like, oh, I hate this character. | ||
| I remember the day it happened. | ||
| It was like an epiphany. | ||
| I was at Zaney's in Nashville. | ||
| Love that place. | ||
| And I was like, and I knew that I couldn't do it. | ||
| I had to go on as me. | ||
| And I made that decision. | ||
| And so you went on stage. | ||
| And people were yelling, you know, do the voice. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Wow. | ||
| And it changed. | ||
| Everything shifted after that. | ||
| What year was this? | ||
| Probably like 10 years ago. | ||
| Maybe longer. | ||
| Yeah, I would say it's probably around 10 years ago. | ||
| And it changed for me. | ||
| And then I liked it again. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| Well, there's some guys that just get trapped in a persona. | ||
| We were just talking about Emo Phillips the other night. | ||
| Because Emo Phillips is apparently back to his persona. | ||
| He let it go for a long time, and he just started just being a guy on stage talking about shit. | ||
| Apparently, people weren't into that. | ||
| And so he's like, alright, give the people what they want. | ||
| That's the story I tell about. | ||
| By the way, I should just clarify. | ||
| This is what I've heard. | ||
| I haven't seen him. | ||
| But this is like... | ||
| You know, Robin was, Williams was my best pal, and he got me a job on a Snickers commercial. | ||
| And I needed bread. | ||
| And he was so nice. | ||
| He's like, oh, you know, so I want you to use my friend Bobcat. | ||
| He's got to be in it. | ||
| You know, and they're like, you know, he actually... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Put their feet on the fire and they had to hire me. | |
| And then he goes, he's like, don't take the first money. | ||
| Just wait, you know. | ||
| Tell them no. | ||
| So I tell them no. | ||
| And then they came back with more money, you know. | ||
| I mean, he was great, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| So then he calls me up and he goes, you know, they're going to want you to do The Voice. | ||
| Are you okay doing The Voice? | ||
| And I go, for the amount of money Snickers is paying, I will fuck a Snickers behind camera. | ||
| By the way, I should say it's a really good candy bar. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| It's my all-time favorite. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, I said I was going to go, but there's something I will address a little bit and talk about. | ||
| You know, Robin had his coronary report came out and he had Lewy body dementia. | ||
| And that is a form of dementia that is very rarely ever discovered when someone's alive. | ||
| It's usually discovered in their autopsy. | ||
| He had this form of dementia. | ||
| I witnessed it. | ||
| It was misdiagnosed as Parkinson's. | ||
| And I witnessed this. | ||
| I witnessed his processing reality completely different than the way everybody else does. | ||
| What causes it? | ||
| I'm not sure if it's a gene or what, but sadly his brain was riddled with this. | ||
| And so when I think about that, I think about how strong he was You know, you would have, like, some days... | ||
| You'd have a lot of days where he was doing kind of OCD stuff and processing things incorrectly, but then you'd have a day where he was back. | ||
| So you'd go, oh, well, maybe it's... | ||
| Just had a bad day? | ||
| Or, no, maybe it's the Parkinson's drugs and they've got to get those dialed in. | ||
| You know, he was going to doctors, he was in therapy, he was doing... | ||
| And the only reason I talk about that is his brain was giving him misinformation. | ||
| Complete misinformation. | ||
| And people die from depression and my heart goes out to them, but that's not what killed him. | ||
| He really was getting misinformation from his own brain and was suffering from this disease. | ||
| So, I just put that out there because folks know that we're friends and they'll ask me about it and I would like a spotlight put on the disease that actually, in my mind, was what was responsible for his demise. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because, you know, a lot of people say, did you ever talk about suicide? | |
| I go, what comics? | ||
| We talked about suicide for 33 years. | ||
| Sometimes we talk about other shit, you know? | ||
| Hey, congratulations on the Oscar. | ||
| Oh, thank you. | ||
| How would you do it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I think a car. | ||
| I think a car. | ||
| But I just say that because he fought. | ||
| That's what we do. | ||
| I don't know about you, but a comic, that's what we do. | ||
| We fight depression. | ||
| Things don't add up. | ||
| This world doesn't seem right, and we go out and we spew about it, and I feel better. | ||
| On a selfish level, I don't really give a rat's ass on the ground. | ||
| You know, I vent and I feel better. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he fought it. | |
| And that wasn't... | ||
| It wasn't depression. | ||
| It wasn't career. | ||
| It wasn't... | ||
| You know, he'd been sober most of his adult life. | ||
| You know, so... | ||
| It's very disturbing to me that a lot of people were trying to attribute all sorts of reasons for why he did it. | ||
| And even there was a lot of, like, men's rights groups that were attributing it to his divorce settlements. | ||
| Oh, brother. | ||
| Yeah, there was a whole thing where this guy was doing this video and I even talked to him about it. | ||
| He had a disease that caused dementia that I witnessed. | ||
| I didn't have anybody I talked to more. | ||
| You know, I talked to him in text and every day. | ||
| I didn't have a buddy that I talked to more. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So, trust me, it wasn't a divorce. | |
| Right. | ||
| It wasn't his family. | ||
| We have the same agent. | ||
| So, like, when this guy was saying, one of the reasons why it pissed me off, because this guy was saying that, you know, he's in financial ruins. | ||
| I'm like, no, he wasn't. | ||
| No. | ||
| He was wealthy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And also, it's... | ||
| Yeah, I mean, no one wants to... | ||
| Because as human beings, we're trying to make sense of why that happened. | ||
| And why that happened, in my opinion, which is right... | ||
| Well, who would know more than you? | ||
| His brain was getting misinformation and he was processing reality completely wrong. | ||
| I mean, I won't go into details, but I did witness him thinking things that weren't real were happening. | ||
| And to me, in the middle of the night... | ||
| And that's the other thing. | ||
| People say, oh, he wasn't in the same bedroom as his wife. | ||
| It's like, yeah, because he was having seizures and he didn't like to wake her up. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| It's not a question of somebody not getting along. | ||
| I didn't mean to get so personal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no. | |
| And I don't mean to talk about his home life because, you know, Susan's a wonderful gal and it's just sad, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, it's awful. | ||
| One of the scariest things is talking to someone who's, whether it's a loved one, a father, mother, that's losing their grip. | ||
| And I think people were, they were courteous to a point, but I don't think they take his kids into consideration and friends and people who worked with him for all these years. | ||
| And I guess I can't expect them to, you know? | ||
| I mean, I'm sure I've taken shots at people when they pass away, but it's just, it's like people would come up and they go, did you hear what... | ||
| Did you hear what Rush Limbaugh said? | ||
| And I'd be like, I don't care what Rush Limbaugh says. | ||
| I'm dealing with people who dealt with him on a daily basis. | ||
| Let me ask you this. | ||
| What is this impulse that people have to denigrate people right after they die? | ||
| It's almost like everyone else is... | ||
| Everyone else is talking about them like I saw a lot of that with Prince when it was revealed that Prince was suffering through Opiate addiction. | ||
| Yeah, and I was like there was like even Gene Simmons said some crazy shit and he had to apologize and I'd seen some other people say it too But what it's almost like it's a crunch a contrarian thing like everyone else is saying oh my god We lost this genius. | ||
| Well you get heat from it. | ||
| Mm-hmm, and I'm sure in Gene Simmons is I'm sure there's a jealousy thing. | ||
| Look, I used to say outrageous things about people, and this bomb would go off, and I would get some heat, and I would get some buzz. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And I stopped doing that. | ||
| I made a decision, realizing that these weren't just harmless things I was saying. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think, you know, it was... | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Because there's a lot of that when Kurt Cobain died too, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But, you know, and that's the... | ||
| I wasn't besties with Kurt, but I did know him. | ||
| I toured with Nirvana. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Kurt liked my stand-up and asked me to go on the road with him. | ||
| I did a bunch of dates. | ||
| Yeah, we talked about it. | ||
| But I mean, it wasn't like the situation with Robin, but I did have times in my life where I... Spent hours with Kurt with no one else sitting around talking and laughing, you know. | ||
| I don't know why we want to do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think... | |
| We try to make sense of it. | ||
| I think we try to make sense of it. | ||
| I think that's where a lot of conspiracies come from. | ||
| I think when someone who's in our mind reached the American dream and then they die or take their life or overdose. | ||
| We have to say, well, they had it all, and that's what we believe is the ultimate fulfillment and happiness. | ||
| You know, America is a people's republic, a spring break. | ||
| No one's pursuing fulfillment. | ||
| Everyone's pursuing happiness. | ||
| You know, there's two different things. | ||
| I'm really fulfilled. | ||
| Am I happy? | ||
| Am I laughing all day? | ||
| Am I? No. | ||
| But you're happy sometimes. | ||
| I'm happy a lot of the time. | ||
| I've never been happier. | ||
| If I didn't know that you're this nuanced guy that's very thoughtful and you have a lot of opinions and you're always considering all sorts of... | ||
| If I just took... | ||
| If I tried to form a view of you based on you and I talking, we're always laughing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I would say, Bobcat's so jolly. | ||
| Every time I talk to him, it's like laughs and hugs and... | ||
| But it is true, and it's... | ||
| Because we never see each other before noon, first of all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a daily reprieve. | |
| It's a daily decision. | ||
| You know, I get up, the squirrels are up before I do, and I beat them down, and then it turns. | ||
| And when I'm directing on a set, I'm like, I can react in fear, or I can just sit here for a second or two, and it always usually works out. | ||
| Very rarely do I have to say, no, man. | ||
| You just sit there. | ||
| I think so much of show business is based on fear and people thinking someone's going to say, you screwed up or you didn't do it right or you didn't get extra takes and all that stuff. | ||
| But man, my job is really not to freak out. | ||
| I'm really happy right now. | ||
| Well, that's beautiful, man. | ||
| I think you're doing some awesome work. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I often tell people to quit, you know, because that's, again, that's very un-American. | ||
| Never quit, never give up. | ||
| It's like quit, quit, quit, quit, and then until you end up someplace where you don't want to leave. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that's what I've done. | ||
| Quit everything that doesn't feel right. | ||
| That doesn't, you know, when I made the decision not to go on auditions, it was scary, and it became the best thing that ever happened to me. | ||
| All of a sudden I'm freed up and I'm writing screenplays and I'm doing, you know... | ||
| It's like, why am I trying to get on, you know, Who's Your Daddy or whatever the fuck, you know what I mean? | ||
| Or A Bird in the Hand or whatever the fuck. | ||
| You know, what am I doing? | ||
| What am I doing? | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But you find your voice, you know? | ||
| I mean, it's interesting now to see the stuff you're doing. | ||
| And the funny thing to me is, like, someone in an interview said... | ||
| Because I make them about a movie every year, every year and a half, and they're like, so what is the, you know, what is, who are you competing with? | ||
| What other filmmaker are you competing with? | ||
| I'm like, I'm competing with the Grim fucking Reaper. | ||
| I just figured this out like 10 years ago, what I want to do. | ||
| You know, that's what motivates me. | ||
| How old are you now? | ||
| I'm 53. I'll be 54 soon. | ||
| And so like when you run around, you hit 40, you're like, yay, this fucking thing's ticking. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| You know, and I write a lot, and I write screenplays that'll never get made, but I just write them to get them out of me, you know? | ||
| Well, listen, man, that's what it's about, really. | ||
| It's about whatever it is that you're compelled to do, that you can do, that you're talented at, and then pursuing that, and just fuck all the rest of it, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I see it in you. | ||
| And people hear us say this, and they think that, well, it's easy for you guys. | ||
| You had this other career and all this stuff. | ||
| It's like, nah, not really. | ||
| I mean, I come with baggage. | ||
| Do you think the first movie I sent to Sundance, people didn't go... | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Hey, Zed from Police Academy made a movie. | ||
| Let's watch this. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So, sure, we have a lot of foot... | ||
| You know, we have a lot of... | ||
| Things are easier on some ways, but then there's baggage. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, there's just, I guess that's with anybody that's been in the public eye for a long period of time, especially, again, a guy like you, that's a nuanced guy. | ||
| There's a lot going on. | ||
| There's happy stuff, and there's anger, and there's silly shit, and there's mockery, and then there's really important points that you want to make. | ||
| And then there's mistakes. | ||
| And there's impulses. | ||
| And we've all had those. | ||
| But that's the best part. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| If I was on a set and I felt people weren't having an enjoyable time, not that it needs to be a party, but if people felt compromised, it would really bother me. | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| Like if you were having an actor do a part that they just really didn't believe in and thought the piece was bad. | ||
| And if the process got, it was unpleasant, you know? | ||
| I mean, my sets are usually pretty ridiculous, you know? | ||
| I'm the one that's probably internalizing, but it's very, you know, I can't explain it. | ||
| Like when I was on Kimmel, you know? | ||
| I remember once I spent $8,000 and I bought... | ||
| 10 tons of snow and put it in the parking lot for Christmas. | ||
| And Jimmy looks out the window and goes, what is that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is that? | |
| Does Disney have a... | ||
| I go, no, I bought snow for everybody. | ||
| It's like you go out playing snow. | ||
| Oh my god, we went sledding, we made ramps, we had the hugest snowball fight. | ||
| You know, life's short. | ||
| I remember once everybody wanted to kill each other, so I rented one of those giant balloon bounces. | ||
| Everybody just bounced around and there was no pressure on the set anymore. | ||
| Did you like doing that show or was it just too monotonous? | ||
| I really liked it a lot. | ||
| I actually loved it. | ||
| And then when I started to realize I was... | ||
| Honestly, I'll be really honest right now. | ||
| When I started to feel like I was starting to phone it in, I was like going, this is not fair to my friend. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Who I love. | ||
| You know, I love Kimmel. | ||
| We did a lot of directing, right? | ||
| Well, I ran into you in New York when you were doing the Chappelle show. | ||
| Worked on Chappelle. | ||
| The very first episode. | ||
| Well, I worked at the beginning. | ||
| Dave Chappelle's not crazy. | ||
| That's the other thing that drives me nuts. | ||
| You know, because he walked away, but I saw those people micromanage him and drive him nuts. | ||
| They were so rude. | ||
| No, Dave's not crazy. | ||
| He's a friend of mine. | ||
| I love Dave. | ||
| He's a very, very brilliant guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Very smart and aware and has the cojones to do what you said, to quit, to walk away from 50 million bucks. | ||
| I'm uncomfortable saying this story, but I don't know. | ||
| I know the semantics of the language. | ||
| I'll just say what happened. | ||
| People can make whatever. | ||
| I was directing that show and white commie central executives came down and asked me. | ||
| They said, can you tell Dave not to say nigger so much? | ||
| And I said, Dave, the white commie central executive's in front of him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I would like you not to say nigger so much. | |
| And Dave goes, Bobcat, pshaw! | ||
| What did you say? | ||
| It was really weird and awkward, and then they left. | ||
| Like, I intentionally thought, well, this will be embarrassing for them. | ||
| This is exactly what you told me. | ||
| Oh, good. | ||
| Because, yeah, I don't think I've ever come forward with that story. | ||
| But, yeah, I'm witness to that insanity. | ||
| Well, as the show became more and more successful, apparently what had happened was advertisers were skittish about being involved, even though... | ||
| Even though it was gangbusters ratings. | ||
| They still were like, he keeps saying the N-word, and Toyota doesn't really want to be involved with the N-word, we don't know what to do. | ||
| And so, you know, they took... | ||
| In my opinion, the greatest sketch comedy show of all time. | ||
| I don't think there's anything that comes close. | ||
| I think it was two years. | ||
| It's one of my greatest accomplishments as an actor, because I don't really like much of what I did except for news radio, but one of the greatest accomplishments, me, is like, I feel like I was on the greatest show of all time. | ||
| I did a couple sketches on the greatest show of all time. | ||
| I really think that show was the all-time most innovative and hilarious sketch comedy show ever. | ||
| From the haters' ball, like the haters' convention, To the black, blind, white supremacist. | ||
| I mean, you could go down the list. | ||
| Rick James. | ||
| Racial Draft. | ||
| Racial Draft. | ||
| I mean, he had so many killer, killer, killer bits. | ||
| They were so original. | ||
| He's brilliant. | ||
| Well, that's one of the most offensive things about what's going on now. | ||
| There's so much rehashed and regenerated. | ||
| Did it just take a script... | ||
| Take a sketch from MADtv and they sort of rework it and spit it out today on some new show and it's fucking gross. | ||
| I mean, that's what you're seeing. | ||
| I mean, what Amy Schumer is getting accused of, you know, what you're seeing over and over again. | ||
| And they keep showing these sketches. | ||
| Well, here was a sketch that was on MADtv. | ||
| Here was a sketch that was on this. | ||
| Here was a sketch that... | ||
| You never saw that with Chappelle. | ||
| With Chappelle, all those sketches were unique and unusual. | ||
| Yeah, and it was also kind of, the funny thing was also in the editing process, following the ball, like we would discover stuff that was just funny in the, I can't explain it. | ||
| It's like we're cutting this Mitsubishi commercial, and the woman, her breast came out during the filming and not per the script. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I go, Dave, did you see that? | ||
| And you just see Dave's eyes go right down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So he busted himself. | |
| He actually, during the wraparound, showed what he'd done. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| And it was beautiful. | ||
| It was beautiful because he was busting himself. | ||
| Yeah, it was really weird for him to be... | ||
| It just drives me nuts when people act like he's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Because I think he's super sane and brilliant and really nice. | ||
| Well, whenever a black guy goes to Africa, you go, oh, he's fucking lost it. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| What is he doing? | ||
| He went to Africa to try to find peace? | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| They offered him 50 million bucks and he went to Africa. | ||
| He lost his mind. | ||
| He lost his fucking mind. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's the thing that... | ||
| Again, what I was saying, you know, fulfillment versus, you know, this idea of just having a 24-hour orgasm, you know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| We don't pursue being fulfilled, which is the whole jam. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Well, it's a tricky little dance because... | ||
| Because we have to pay bills and we have to raise our kids and we have to be responsible. | ||
| But you know this, every time you take that leap, every time you go, well, this is really scary, every time it pays off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've never taken the leap. | ||
| I've taken leaps where I did what I thought people wanted or I thought might work or might be successful. | ||
| That always works terribly. | ||
| But I've just said, I've got to tell this story because this is the story that I'm interested in right now. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's always paid off. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| How's it paid off? | ||
| Am I rich? | ||
| Am I this and that? | ||
| No, but you know. | ||
| Fulfilled. | ||
| I sit there and I connect with a small group of people and that's pretty amazing. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| The end. | ||
| Good night, everybody. | ||
| Bobcat Colwood, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Give it up. | ||
| Give it up. | ||
| Thanks, brother. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| It was a lot of fun, man. | ||
| I'm glad we did it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was great. | |
| And we ended with the headphones on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Notice that? | |
| We didn't even notice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How did that happen? | |
| We didn't even notice we had it. | ||
| We kept them on. | ||
| Oh, uh, is this thing still recording? | ||
| Gary Johnson, tomorrow, presidential candidate. | ||
| Gary Johnson, 9am. |
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