Feb. 23, 2016 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:12:16
Participants
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| yee-haw ladies and gentlemen yee Yee-fucking-haw. | ||
| That's what I have to say to everyone in America. | ||
| Dude, when you get to call yourself a name, like Action, like, how dare you, first of all? | ||
| How dare you be so bold that that's your name, Action? | ||
| That's my name, man. | ||
| That's who I am. | ||
| That's who I was born. | ||
| How did you get this name, man? | ||
| Listen, I'm just known to be doing things. | ||
| I'm just known for things. | ||
| It's just too cool. | ||
| It's too cool for a white person. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Dude, I've been watching your stuff on Vice, and first of all, what a great idea. | ||
| What a great idea to come up with that hashtag, Fuck That's Delicious. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| Because your Instagram picture is, it is one big Fuck That's Delicious. | ||
| I know, it's crazy. | ||
| Your Instagram page, rather. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| You wouldn't expect it from a rapper slash rapper. | ||
| Food, traveling, human being such as myself. | ||
| I would expect exactly that. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah, that's exactly what I expect from you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Good. | ||
| I think I've got you figured out. | ||
| You put the thumb on me already? | ||
| Shit. | ||
| It's a good thing, though. | ||
| I'm a fan. | ||
| I like what you're doing. | ||
| Well, do you think that people try to define you? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| It's like people look at you and they try to dismiss you, or what is it? | ||
| I don't think they try to dismiss me, but I feel that people try to define you, of course. | ||
| Put you in a box, right? | ||
| Of course, but I'm not the one that's ever to be put in a box. | ||
| There hasn't been any person like me ever, and probably, you know, there will be someone like me coming along, but... | ||
| Are you the white Kanye? | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| I'm the... | ||
| I'm the slightly tan Ariana Slani, a.k.a. | ||
| Action Bronson. | ||
| So you're traveling around. | ||
| How many of these restaurants are you visiting? | ||
| How many of these shows are you doing for Vice? | ||
| We already did eight episodes of the first season. | ||
| We got picked up for a second. | ||
| We're going to be doing 12 episodes for the second. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| I'm trying to sign a long-term deal. | ||
| Seven years, $138 million around there. | ||
| A couple of incentives. | ||
| Well, it's a great idea, man. | ||
| In the future, things like what you're getting on Vice.com or these YouTube pages, you can do your own show like that, and it can get gigantic. | ||
| It can get almost bigger than it could ever get on TV, because you can download it and watch it anytime you want. | ||
| Well, that's the issue I'm having right now, because we've become such a global show that We're now on Vice's television network that is about to start on March 3rd. | ||
| I mean on February 29th called Viceland. | ||
| I have some quarrels about it, to tell you the truth, because it's only going to be in North America. | ||
| And, I mean, people are going to get what they want. | ||
| So, obviously, they're going to download it, tour it, whatever they're going to do. | ||
| But it's necessary for it to be on YouTube. | ||
| I stress that with every video that I ever do, it is totally necessary to be on YouTube because everyone needs access to it. | ||
| You can be right here. | ||
| You want to show me something, boom. | ||
| Type it right in. | ||
| You can show it to me. | ||
| We don't have to go... | ||
| To the TV, see what time it comes on. | ||
| You know, I know they have On Demand, but still, it's a fucking process. | ||
| It's easier. | ||
| Yeah, it's so universal. | ||
| It's where everyone goes. | ||
| Yeah, it's like you wake up in the morning and you go to YouTube for some shit. | ||
| You listen to some music, you put a mix on, you watch some highlights for some shit. | ||
| Well, you have it in your TV now. | ||
| You know, if you have Apple TV, it's one of the apps. | ||
| It's just so easy to use. | ||
| It's pretty much making TV obsolete. | ||
| Well, between that and Netflix and Hulu and all these different online providers, Where you can access it super easy now on your television. | ||
| And especially if you have one of those Apple TVs. | ||
| It's so easy to get... | ||
| And this is just... | ||
| What's it going to be like a decade from now, man? | ||
| I mean, you're going to be able to talk to your TV and say, Action Brunson. | ||
| And they'll just pull up... | ||
| What would you like to know? | ||
| You know? | ||
| I would like to listen to his best shit. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Bing! | ||
| It'll be right there. | ||
| His best shit. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it's going to be able to easily decipher what you're saying. | ||
| Because right now, they're pretty fucking good. | ||
| Have you, like, fucked with Siri at all and asked Siri questions? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| I mean, it gets pretty next level. | ||
| This guy right here is like the tech guy, so... | ||
| I leave it to him. | ||
| There's like 7,000 apps and this shit and that. | ||
| It's fucking games all day long. | ||
| Do you have a flip phone? | ||
| I did. | ||
| Did you really? | ||
| My first phone was the StarTac. | ||
| I had one of those too. | ||
| Motorola StarTac. | ||
| My friend Ari Shafir went back to the flip phone. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| He's like, fuck all you people. | ||
| You're losing your mind. | ||
| He's a smart dude. | ||
| He is right. | ||
| He's right because I'm a fucking slave. | ||
| There's no doubt about that. | ||
| I go on. | ||
| I'm on Twitter. | ||
| When I wake up, I just put it on to see what the hell's going on. | ||
| It's upsetting. | ||
| Everybody's a slave to that thing. | ||
| That thing's monstrous. | ||
| But awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| It's incredible. | ||
| Well, the amount of data that you can just get... | ||
| On anything, instantly. | ||
| Tell me about kettlebells. | ||
| Tell me about airplane. | ||
| Who invented the first drone? | ||
| Just boom, and you just start going through all this. | ||
| It's like a weird Chinese guy, probably. | ||
| Yeah, and we were talking about this yesterday, how a YouTube video now recommends and starts playing the next YouTube video. | ||
| You just sit there. | ||
| It's sort of like Netflix does with a series. | ||
| He'll just start playing the next one. | ||
| It's like, sit down, bitch. | ||
| Where are you going? | ||
| You ain't going to eat. | ||
| Trapped you. | ||
| Playing automatically, like, playing for you. | ||
| And YouTube does that all the time now. | ||
| Things related. | ||
| Things that are slightly related. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You discuss... | ||
| I mean, just... | ||
| To make music using YouTube has become a pleasure. | ||
| It's a new age of digging in the crates. | ||
| You have to search pages for rare shit and make sure no one else has used it. | ||
| And it's like a never-ending catalog of musical talent from all over the globe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's unbelievable. | ||
| From the early opera singers. | ||
| Shit, from... | ||
| You can listen to anything. | ||
| From any... | ||
| They have, from the early 1900s, the first recordings somehow. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah, it's insane to think that they figured out how to put sound on a black plastic disc that made it so awesome. | ||
| And they figured out how to do that when we were apes, you know? | ||
| I mean, people were, like, in comparison to today, like, the amount of technology they had then, this is like the early 1800s they figured out how to do that, right? | ||
| Like, what year was it they invented the phonograph record player? | ||
| Remember they used to have that big hoop? | ||
| Yeah, the hoop. | ||
| The big, like, tuba? | ||
| And you'd just fucking turn it. | ||
| And you would sit on it and the sound would come off the record through that tuba thing? | ||
| Yeah, they had something before that I was looking up right now. | ||
| In 1877, Edison had this thing that they recorded on tinfoil. | ||
| I'll show you what it looks like. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| So when... | ||
| I feel like we're... | ||
| It's all cylinders. | ||
| There's a video from, like, Tech TV where some guy drops one and it's like an old viral video from the early 2000s. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| He dropped it and broke it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, you fuckhead. | ||
| What a fucking asshole. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It's unbelievable. | ||
| It says it's a cornet solo on a wax cylinder. | ||
| Well, if that was done today, I'd want my fucking money back. | ||
| I'd be like, you shitty audio engineer. | ||
| What did you keep your phone in your pocket and record it from there? | ||
| But listening to that, when you consider the time, it sounds amazing. | ||
| So what was the first phonograph? | ||
| What year was that invented? | ||
| Why do I feel like it was the 1800s? | ||
| Am I wrong, or is it way earlier than that? | ||
| I think it was at the end of the 1800s. | ||
| The end of it. | ||
| They used to look so wild with that big tube thing that came out of it. | ||
| But they haven't really figured out how to make it sound better than the record does. | ||
| No? | ||
| What is the difference? | ||
| Because some people say it's bullshit. | ||
| Some people say it's just fetishism. | ||
| And some people who are real audiophile type... | ||
| They all kind of agree there's like a different kind of sound. | ||
| Well, what everyone explains to me and now I understand is a warmth. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a warmth to it. | ||
| You know, it's easier on the ear than, say, the electronic music and the digital shit of today. | ||
| It's a little bit more harsh. | ||
| The older stuff was toned better, and I don't know, just the plastic, the vinyl does something... | ||
| Something to it. | ||
| The people that are real, like, audio freaks all seem to agree on that, right? | ||
| For sure. | ||
| There's something about tape. | ||
| Recording directly to two-inch tape. | ||
| Using this thing, this big machine. | ||
| Nowadays, we just go right into the computer through whatever, I don't know what the fuck, like an M-box or... | ||
| So Jamie, you're one of the people that doesn't think it makes so much of a difference, right? | ||
| At this point, it's what you're hearing. | ||
| So people today are trained to hear things off of iPhones and iTunes, like MP3s. | ||
| That compression, we're used to hearing it. | ||
| So being told that something else sounds better... | ||
| It's like you're trying to tell them. | ||
| It's all about the compression. | ||
| The compression makes everything sound full and smooth. | ||
| Is it possible it's a more familiar sound? | ||
| Is that why it's... | ||
| Sort of, yeah. | ||
| They're even mixing things now. | ||
| You'll see it's mastered for iTunes. | ||
| It's mastered to be heard through those little two earbuds, not through a giant sound system at home, through giant speakers with subwoofers and whatnot. | ||
| Absolutely correct. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Everything is more personal now. | ||
| No one ever drives down the street anymore blasting the music. | ||
| What the fuck happened to that? | ||
| You know? | ||
| You used to go, when you got the car, you used to have to go and buy the humongous speakers to put in the bitch. | ||
| I think people started going deaf. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| If you're driving around with earplugs on and you're blasting music, it's kind of a douche move. | ||
| If it's so bad it hurts your ears, you have to put earplugs in? | ||
| There's this guy in my neighborhood that just drives around every Sunday in a piece of shit Cadillac with a bow on the front, playing all types of Frankie Valli at the loudest volume that could possibly be and just singing along. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| It's his ritual every Sunday. | ||
| You really are right because it used to be like every stoplight you would hear... | ||
| You'd feel like your car vibrate. | ||
| Those people that go crazy with the subwoofers to the point where you feel it in the air around you. | ||
| Fucking mirrors are rattling. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Do you love it? | ||
| Nah, I don't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's terrible. | |
| Have you ever been in a vehicle with the ship turned up all the way? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| If you sit in the back seat where the subwoofer is, It feels like it's coming through your chest, like your fucking heart is about to explode with that bass. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Especially if you play like Dipset or something, like some sort of EDM, you know, like some crazy house music. | ||
| You literally go through a trance. | ||
| Well, you know what else went out? | ||
| Dudes with the crazy wagon rims. | ||
| Those wagon wheel rims. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Everybody was like, how many potholes are we going to hit? | ||
| Yeah, now the rims. | ||
| You can't have a 28 inch rim. | ||
| What the fuck is this? | ||
| These ridiculous rims. | ||
| Tires are like a piece of bubble gum. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| The run flats. | ||
| Thinnos. | ||
| I can't do it, man. | ||
| I got some Schmitts on my car. | ||
| What's a Schmitt? | ||
| There's some German rims that you could fucking... | ||
| The tank could roll over them shits and they'll be alright. | ||
| You can literally drive the car without rubber wheels on it, just on the rims. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What kind of wheels are these? | ||
| They were Schmitts. | ||
| You could look them up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| There's a Schmitt... | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, some sort of... | ||
| You can drive them on the road? | ||
| Yeah, those over there on the left. | ||
| Yep, those. | ||
| What kind of car do you have, man? | ||
| A BMW Wagon 5 Series 95. That's a nice... | ||
| Those years are like the nicest years. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| BMW M5s and the 5 Series. | ||
| I love those. | ||
| Doesn't Tony have one of those? | ||
| Hinchcliffe has one of those? | ||
| They say that like the 5 Series BMW from like... | ||
| There's like two eras. | ||
| Like there's the one they have now, the one they had before, and then the one they had before that. | ||
| And that's where you're at? | ||
| Yeah, the 95 one is the one right before they change the body. | ||
| Yeah, those are like classic cars, man. | ||
| Tony has a 5 Series from there, and I have another friend who has a 3 Series from there. | ||
| Like, those cars were something special, man. | ||
| They just figured out a way to make them... | ||
| They handle so good. | ||
| They brake so good. | ||
| They're the right amount of weight. | ||
| They're not too heavy. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| You get, like, good movement with them. | ||
| And they're metal. | ||
| Yeah, look at that thing. | ||
| They're fucking metal. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's the M5 from that era. | ||
| Yeah, it's a beauty. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's just... | |
| That car was a piece of genius. | ||
| That's a beauty, right? | ||
| There's a fucking crazy video that someone put out that I could barely watch, man. | ||
| It's some asshole in some other country. | ||
| I don't know what country he's in, but he's in an M5, one of those, that series, and he's driving through traffic. | ||
| Like a fucking maniac. | ||
| Like, you watch it, you just go, Jesus! | ||
| You're holding onto the chair, right? | ||
| He burns it into the oncoming lane, cuts in front of people. | ||
| I mean, he is doing some fucking crazy shit really fast, but driving like a wizard. | ||
| Like, going around corners sideways. | ||
| He must be a race car driver. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| There's no way he's not a race car driver. | ||
| Oh, this is it. | ||
| Jesus Christ, Jamie! | ||
| How dare you! | ||
| This motherfucker is nuts. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| He's just drifting? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's drifting. | ||
| Oh, that's a beauty, too. | ||
| He's going around people. | ||
| I mean, look how he's driving. | ||
| Where is this? | ||
| This fucking guy's speeding while people are walking across the road, and he doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Oncoming. | ||
| Doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| This guy is fucking crazy. | ||
| Look at this shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's out of his mind. | |
| He's killing it. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Where is this? | ||
| Austria? | ||
| I don't know where it is. | ||
| They have those crazy long European license plates, though. | ||
| But look at the way this motherfucker drives! | ||
| What is this, Jamie? | ||
| It's for people if they want to watch it. | ||
| BMW M5, need4drive.com, last illegal street racing and drift driver, Giorgio Tevzadzi. | ||
| Oh, yeah, he just died. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Did he? | ||
| Yeah, he just died, I think. | ||
| He just did some crazy shit in the whip. | ||
| He died in this car, actually. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Check it out. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I think it's R.I.P. Giorgio. | ||
| How do you say his name again? | ||
| Giorgio Tevzadzi. | ||
| Tevzadzi. | ||
| Yeah, Giorgio Tevzadzi. | ||
| I think he's dead. | ||
| R.I.P. There he is. | ||
| I saw he died in the Burgundy Beamer. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| He died in the Burgundy M5. Infamous BMW street drifter dies in crash. | ||
| Outside the Barclays? | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| He was 26 years old. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| What a nut, man. | ||
| Wow, he wasn't Those driver appears to be fine. | ||
| Oh, he wasn't driving. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| That is ironic. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| That's like a Lance Morissette ironic. | ||
| Isn't it ironic? | ||
| That's not ironic. | ||
| But it's kind of fucked. | ||
| You know, like, Kinnison was killed by a drunk driver. | ||
| And Kinnison used to have those bits about drinking and driving. | ||
| You know, they were We're gonna do it! | ||
| We're gonna drink! | ||
| We're gonna drive! | ||
| We're gonna pull it off! | ||
| You know what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
We do it every fucking night! | |
| The crowd would go crazy and people would get so mad. | ||
| They were like, this guy is encouraging drunk driving. | ||
| Like, what the fuck? | ||
| And then, boom, he gets killed by a drunk driver. | ||
| Fucking karma. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know if karma's real, but God damn, there's a lot of evidence out there. | ||
| You know, it's just a saying. | ||
| You know, one of those things, like I swear to God, it ain't real, but it's one of those things, like an American slang word. | ||
| Karma is a motherfucker, though. | ||
| It is. | ||
| And that statement, karma is a motherfucker, is one of the best statements. | ||
| As far as when shit goes down like that, you're like, man. | ||
| But, you know... | ||
| Nobody wishes that on somebody. | ||
| Especially if you're a driver and you're like... | ||
| He's probably like, bitch, this would have never happened if I was at the wheel. | ||
| Never. | ||
| Fucking Georgie. | ||
| The way that guy drived? | ||
| That was insane. | ||
| I mean, it's horrific to watch. | ||
| Definitely shouldn't be allowed to do it. | ||
| What about the videos... | ||
| Of the fucking Russian dudes climbing the buildings. | ||
| I was just gonna say something about that. | ||
| Some new dude. | ||
| I put one up on my Instagram page. | ||
| I put like two of them in a row. | ||
| They were fucking freaking me out. | ||
| And this dude contacted me through Twitter and said hi. | ||
| His stunts are... | ||
| He's insane. | ||
| And he's got YouTube videos of these things too. | ||
| They're insane. | ||
| He's on like the Eiffel Tower or some shit, right? | ||
| Oh, I saw that one. | ||
| Is that in Paris that he's on the top of that tower? | ||
| He's insane. | ||
| It makes your fucking palms sweat. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It's like, what the fuck? | ||
| Dude, it makes every fucking cell on your body just starts vibrating like, get away from the head! | ||
| Get away! | ||
| It's heavy. | ||
| I don't get that, man. | ||
| If I was in that shape, I probably would try it too. | ||
| Would you really? | ||
| Yeah, but they're in crazy shape. | ||
| You see them doing pull-ups and... | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Oh, this is in New York, I guess? | ||
| Is this New York? | ||
| Dubai? | ||
| Yeah, it looks like Dubai. | ||
| Oh my god, look at the edge. | ||
| This is not good. | ||
| James Kingston's his name. | ||
| He's crazy. | ||
| American dude? | ||
| You know what a guy like this? | ||
| I would just like for him to just retire right now. | ||
| Look, he did it. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
| Let's not keep doing this. | ||
| Let's just not keep doing this. | ||
| Look at this fuck. | ||
| Oh my God, look at this dude. | ||
| Oh my God, he's doing chin-ups on this thing. | ||
| Oh my God, he's one-handing it. | ||
| Dude, please stop. | ||
| I can't do this. | ||
| I can't do this. | ||
| Oh fucking Christ. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. | |
| Okay. | ||
| For people who are... | ||
| The description is like... | ||
| The James Kingston on Instagram. | ||
| That's his page. | ||
| And I... Don't feel so good. | ||
| The way he was holding on the floor was a thick-ass bar. | ||
| He's with one arm. | ||
| He's hanging with one arm. | ||
| He's like a mile in the sky. | ||
| Dude, stop it, Jamie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stop it. | |
| I can't do it. | ||
| Stop. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cut it off. | |
| Fuck, man. | ||
| Flat-footed? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Word? | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| He just jumped from one building to another. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Not even a running start. | ||
| This is insane. | ||
| That is insane. | ||
| How does he do that? | ||
| Like, I would splatter. | ||
| I would never make it that far. | ||
| How's he making it that far? | ||
| He had some good thrust. | ||
| The momentum and the thrust. | ||
| But that seems like an insane amount of distance to travel, doesn't it? | ||
| How the fuck does he judge that? | ||
| How does he jump and land like that? | ||
| You got a crazier one? | ||
| Look at Jamie's face. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Oh, there's no way. | ||
| He just jumps across a building. | ||
| How is that possible, man? | ||
| How is that possible? | ||
| And this is one of his favorite jumps in the city, apparently. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on, son. | |
| You know, like, this doesn't make any sense. | ||
| At the end of the day, man. | ||
| How is that possible? | ||
| If I could, I would. | ||
| It's like when skateboarding, like, once Tony Hawk does the 900, once you see it done, everyone else can just start doing it. | ||
| But I just look, I'm shocked by the distance he's covering. | ||
| I guess what's going on is the distance of one building, it's far away, but it's also higher. | ||
| So in his leap, if he gets a good spring, his arc will carry him over. | ||
| But he's got to judge that perfectly. | ||
| There's no room for error whatsoever. | ||
| This is what it looks like sideways? | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Look how far he's jumping, man. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| That's an insane amount of space he's covering when he lands on that edge. | ||
| Like, that kid, he must be like, I mean, I don't know how much he weighs, but he must be insanely strong for his weight, and he can just throw his body through the air like that. | ||
| He must have just a ridiculous explosion out of his legs. | ||
| And then land so lightly? | ||
| That's freakish. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| I guess it's those things, like if you just concentrate on only doing that, you can do it in a way that doesn't make sense to someone like you, or me, or, you know... | ||
| I can't even ice-skate. | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| I can't ice-skate at all. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| I can ice skate incredibly, man. | ||
| I'm fucking 285 on a good day. | ||
| First of all, I can't find shoot when I don't have my own ice skates, so I have to rent ice skates. | ||
| It's for the same reason why I couldn't ski for years. | ||
| The rentals are fucking shitty. | ||
| Well, it's not even just that. | ||
| My feet are too wide. | ||
| So if I had a regular size 11, my feet... | ||
| Someone in my background fucked a monkey. | ||
| I don't know when it was. | ||
| Big fucking Bigfoot foot. | ||
| A long time ago. | ||
| Like when you shouldn't be able to fuck monkeys anymore, someone just went back in for one more shot and fucked a monkey. | ||
| Guaranteed. | ||
| It was like the last call for evolution. | ||
| And one of my ancestors just snuck back in and got one more nut off. | ||
| But... | ||
| My feet are just too wide. | ||
| So I get in those things. | ||
| I'm just in agony. | ||
| And I just never learn how. | ||
| And I'm not going to... | ||
| It's not interesting enough for me to go out and buy ice skates. | ||
| You know, if I was like, this is it. | ||
| This is something I have to conquer. | ||
| Then I would have to learn how to ice skate. | ||
| It was much more exciting as a youth. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fucking roller... | ||
| Like, not rollerblading. | ||
| Fucking ice skating to Green Day. | ||
| Shit like that. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That's right. | ||
| They play loud music and you spin around the ice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| See, I guess hockey would be the reason to do it. | ||
| Like, if you wanted to learn how to play hockey. | ||
| Well, I'm saying you pretend you're doing hockey moves, you know, like you're on the ice, snowing, when you're stopping, you throw the snow at people, you know the shh. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's a cool move. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| So it's like, you wear the hockey skates, you definitely don't wear the figure skating ones. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mmm. | |
| No chance. | ||
| No, you don't. | ||
| What's the difference? | ||
| Well, they have the spikes in the front so you can do the triple toe lutz. | ||
| Mmm. | ||
| You don't want anybody seeing your spikes. | ||
| When you go straight, you have to lift a little bit and you're gonna fall on your face. | ||
| The hockey is a little curvature like a running shoe. | ||
| Mmm. | ||
| It just allows you to maneuver through the ice. | ||
| So it allows you to maneuver better, but it doesn't allow you to do tricks. | ||
| You can't do a stop and then triple toe lutz or like a Scott Hamilton flip. | ||
| So are they doing flips when they do those spins on the ice? | ||
| Are they doing them with like special skates? | ||
| Is that what the deal is? | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Brian Boitano. | ||
| Do you remember South Park? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| What would Brian Boitano do? | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Love it. | ||
| That was like one of their first episodes, right? | ||
| Was it their first one? | ||
| God, that was funny, man. | ||
| That was going around as a VHS tape back in the day. | ||
| That was one of those things where a buddy of mine said, you have to see this. | ||
| Check this out. | ||
| These guys made this video. | ||
| It was Jesus and Brian Boitano, right? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Who else was in it? | ||
| Santa. | ||
| Santa, that's right. | ||
| Whatever it was, it was fucking hilarious. | ||
| And it was way before its time, you know? | ||
| What was the year the first South Park tape was made? | ||
| When you find out how long those guys have been around... | ||
| This was made in 1992. Jesus Christ. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| They've been killing it since 92. 92. Southpaw came out in 92? | ||
| Well, no. | ||
| The Spirit of Christmas is what that was called. | ||
| I think that show came out in like 97. Okay, yeah. | ||
| Did it come out that much later? | ||
| Really? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| God, it was so funny. | ||
| Maybe 96. I must have got it after. | ||
| If they did it in 92, I didn't move here until 94, and I know that I got it when I was living in Encino, because I remember popping it in when a friend came over. | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
| You had a bar here to lend you the tape? | ||
| Somebody gave it to me. | ||
| I don't remember how I got the tape, but I remember somebody gave it to me and said, you got to watch this, and then I remember popping it in a VCR for my friend. | ||
| It was so ridiculous. | ||
| It was super funny. | ||
| It was really crude. | ||
| I almost wish he would go back to doing it this way, you know? | ||
| Because it was so obvious that it was, you know, just really shitty animation. | ||
| Like, look at the mouth movements. | ||
| It's still shitty, but it's more sophisticated now, right? | ||
| It's sophisticated shitty. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, this is... | ||
| I bet the amount of time it took to do this was probably ridiculous, though. | ||
| You know, like the Team America, I think he said he would never do one of those movies again because it was just way too time consuming. | ||
| I mean, it was a pretty incredible fucking movie. | ||
| It's one of my favorites ever. | ||
| Yeah, it was one of my all-time favorites. | ||
| We were talking about movies that are funnier than Tropic Thunder. | ||
| And it's probably none are funnier in moments. | ||
| It's as funny as a movie gets. | ||
| But there's other really funny movies too. | ||
| You think that's the funniest of all time? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's one of the funniest. | |
| It's a stupid funny movie. | ||
| But Team America. | ||
| Team America, too. | ||
| Zoolander's really funny. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of fucking Talladega knights. | ||
| I lost all credibility right there, Jamie. | ||
| When I first saw fucking Borat, I pretty much shit my pants. | ||
| Yeah, Borat. | ||
| Even Bruno. | ||
| I didn't see Bruno. | ||
| I still haven't seen it. | ||
| My Albanian father. | ||
| My fucking Albanian father, immigrant, hard head, like, only knows one way. | ||
| Neanderthal, thinks that's one of the fucking funniest movies ever. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's just weird. | ||
| It's a crossover hit. | ||
| You know what's an underrated funny movie? | ||
| And Adam Sandler's Don't Mess With a Zohan. | ||
| Oh yeah, that one's a good one too. | ||
| Underrated funny movie, man. | ||
| Because a lot of people, they put Adam Sandler movies into a category. | ||
| Sometimes they can get a little dismissive of an Adam Sandler movie. | ||
| But that Don't Mess With the Zohan is a classic. | ||
| That was a good one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So tell me how your show works, man. | ||
| Do you just decide where you want to go? | ||
| Does somebody else suggest where to go? | ||
| Well, a lot of the times it's... | ||
| I go on tour for my music... | ||
| And then while we're there, we end up shooting the show. | ||
| If that's not the case, I just tell them, listen, I want to go to fucking Sicily. | ||
| And then we're in Sicily, you know? | ||
| It's that simple. | ||
| And we just, I bring my boys with me and we just go in. | ||
| They put the camera on and we just act how we act. | ||
| So it'll be us. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Then you just get to pick where you're eating and just showcase different chefs. | ||
| You were a chef at one point too? | ||
| I was. | ||
| That's how I really started. | ||
| When I was like 18, I went to culinary school and fucked off after that for about a year and a half or two and had a child and went back into the kitchen to start working and that was just it. | ||
| I thought I was just going to be a fucking short order cook or a chef or whatever for the rest of my life. | ||
| Out of nowhere, I broke my leg, just slipped on the floor, broke my leg. | ||
| I was working a little bit with music before that, but not in any capacity where I thought it would be where I am now. | ||
| And shit, here we are. | ||
| That took me out of the kitchen professionally, put me in a recording studio all the time. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A fall changed your destiny. | ||
| Straight up. | ||
| Broke my right leg, my right ankle from a slip. | ||
| A very, like, I've slipped much worse. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I've done much worse than myself and this one just... | ||
| Just cracked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cracked it. | |
| Cracked it. | ||
| That's so interesting how something like that can happen or something that looks like a bad thing that happened to you turned into like this amazing door that opened up. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Then all of a sudden you could do what you really want to do. | ||
| This is what I wanted to do my whole life. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| It's just what I wanted to do. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| We're watching Jamie. | ||
| Niam Jam? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| This is me in Jamaica. | ||
| I went down here to do... | ||
| What did I go down here to do? | ||
| I went down here to do some sort of exhibition with Mario Batali, but he was in no condition to do anything with me that day, so I ended up just hanging out pretty much at the beach the whole time. | ||
| Oh, so you were supposed to hang out with Mario and he got fucked up? | ||
| Pretty much. | ||
| I was hanging out with him, but we were just sitting at the bar, hanging. | ||
| He was, you know, he was doing well. | ||
| He just didn't feel like doing anything. | ||
| He just wanted to hang out. | ||
| The weather was too good. | ||
| Oh, I get it. | ||
| The weather was just too beautiful. | ||
| So he just didn't want to participate in a show? | ||
| Well, nah, not this one. | ||
| Just in the entire... | ||
| Events of the thing. | ||
| I feel like we're dancing around this story. | ||
| Yeah, nah, he was... | ||
| Bottom line is... | ||
| I don't want to push you on anything. | ||
| Bottom line, I was fucking... | ||
| I ate a macaroon, like one of these edibles. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| And I was just demolished walking around. | ||
| Did Mario get demolished too? | ||
| Nah, Mario doesn't get demolished. | ||
| That's too bad. | ||
| He just drinks wine. | ||
| That's too bad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's missing out. | ||
| He is. | ||
| I think that he's had his share. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| I would say. | ||
| You think he's done? | ||
| I would say. | ||
| I gotta get back to the fucking kitchen. | ||
| I gotta cook the shit out of some food. | ||
| I don't have time for these deep soul-searching weed trips. | ||
| Nah, he's just hanging out, man. | ||
| He's just living his life. | ||
| He's like a fucking superstar. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's a rock star, that guy. | ||
| The world of chefs is a very different world. | ||
| And when I was younger, I didn't really appreciate it as an art form. | ||
| I think I just thought of it as more like just a cool thing that someone knows how to make really good food because you can go to that restaurant and you can get it there. | ||
| I didn't think of who is the creator of that food and what is that. | ||
| Is that an art form? | ||
| Because I think it really definitely is. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Guys like you and, like, you look like a chef, which is like you're all tattooed up. | ||
| Like, a lot of chefs... | ||
| That's today's chef. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's today's chef. | ||
| They look like they could be artists. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Well, that's today's chefs. | ||
| Today's chefs are, you know, young, crazy, tattooed motherfuckers. | ||
| You can't really call who's the chef, you know, but a classic chef is usually the French guy with the handkerchief around his neck and the big hat. | ||
| It's not like that anymore. | ||
| The chefs are now rock stars. | ||
| Well, they definitely have become... | ||
| I think a lot of it's because of Bourdain's show. | ||
| They've definitely become more highlighted in that regard. | ||
| In his show, he's always interviewing these weird, funky people in Portland that are raising their own chickens and shit, and farm-to-table type restaurants. | ||
| He'll hang out with a lot of weird, experimental chef people, and a lot of them look like you. | ||
| Yeah, no, that's a good thing. | ||
| He definitely opened the door for a lot of people, but I feel like the celebrity chef started with Emeril Lagasse and people like that, like earlier with like... | ||
| Excuse me, what about Julia Child? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Oh, excuse me. | ||
| Excuse me? | ||
| You can't go Emeril. | ||
| You can't say it started with Emeril. | ||
| But I'm sort of like in this era, you know, where it really fucking took off. | ||
| Julia Child was really the only one. | ||
| And that other guy, Graham Kerr or some shit, whatever the fucking guy's name was. | ||
| So was there like a calm before the storm before Emeril arrived? | ||
| Man, I don't know. | ||
| It was like Julia Child and there was nothing. | ||
| The world was searching for a TV cook. | ||
| I was fucking driving around in fucking Jettas and shit, smoking weed in Queens. | ||
| I had no idea. | ||
| Watching Saved by the Bell at 7 a.m. | ||
| Emeril's supposed to be a super nice guy. | ||
| Emeril Lagasse, by all accounts, like one of the nicest guys in the world. | ||
| Bam! | ||
| He says bam all the time. | ||
| Bam! | ||
| He gets hype. | ||
| By all accounts, like one of the nicest guys. | ||
| He just keeps scallions in his pocket and every fucking time he says bam, just throw scallions in your face. | ||
| Yeah, it's also interesting in the world of food and cooks and chefs that there's different schools of food in cooks and chefs. | ||
| There's the really experimental, artistic people, maybe even alternative in their musical choices. | ||
| And then there's Guy Fieri, who's a big, bolsterous American, drives a yellow Corvette, he's got frosted tips. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's like he's got his own... | ||
| He's a fucking classic character. | ||
| ...whitesnake version of being an artist. | ||
| Yeah, he's a fucking Def Leppard. | ||
| Equally entertaining. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, I'm a Whitesnake fan, you know? | ||
| I love him. | ||
| He's incredible. | ||
| It's funny how those guys don't like each other. | ||
| Bourdain and him go back and forth. | ||
| There's a beef. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| Bourdain is fucking hilarious. | ||
| He's hilarious. | ||
| He's like a comic. | ||
| He's a real dude. | ||
| He easily could be a comic. | ||
| He's 100%. | ||
| He worked in New York Kitchen his entire life. | ||
| He started jujitsu at 58. I know, I see. | ||
| 57, 58. He's doing a good job. | ||
| He's rolling around over there. | ||
| He got a blue belt. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, he got his blue belt. | ||
| That's a legit blue belt from Henzo Gracie's Academy. | ||
| That is about as legit a blue belt as there is in the world. | ||
| You have to earn that. | ||
| You don't just get that. | ||
| That guy, that's very impressive. | ||
| That's very impressive. | ||
| To do that at his age. | ||
| And apparently he's doing it every day, man. | ||
| It becomes addictive, right? | ||
| Yeah, and I looked at your Instagram page. | ||
| You're working out. | ||
| You have someone who trains you sometimes. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I've been athletic my entire life. | ||
| I played football in fucking high school, baseball. | ||
| As time goes on, you get lazy. | ||
| When I was younger, I was fucking juicing. | ||
| I was taking steroids and shit. | ||
| I was fucking buff. | ||
| I'm serious. | ||
| I believe you. | ||
| I was squatting like six. | ||
| I was fucking benching my highest. | ||
| You squatting 600 pounds? | ||
| Straight up. | ||
| No shoes on, belt, no wraps, just in the bucket. | ||
| You didn't wear shoes? | ||
| No shoes. | ||
| You know, you got to keep the flat, a good flat shoe. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| 600 pounds with no shoes. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's a lot of weight. | ||
| I was like 22 years old, 23 years old. | ||
| But it was probably because of the steroids. | ||
| Well, doing a show like this where you're traveling around the world and you're eating all that food, I would imagine, man, it would be super easy to just get lazy. | ||
| Bro, I just literally lost 50 pounds and I just gained another 20. So my whole life is fluctuation. | ||
| I just need to get to that point where I need to... | ||
| Get past that fluctuating point and just go down and start seeing all these fucking abs that I have under there. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I have like 32 ab muscles that you could possibly see. | ||
| All that needs to be done is shredded. | ||
| Do you really want to lose that much weight? | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Anybody that's overweight wants to have a fucking six pack before they die. | ||
| It's a fact. | ||
| Is it a fact? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I have one vein. | ||
| You know when you gauge working out, if you can see the vein or not? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I have that good one vein over here, the squiggly. | ||
| Upper shoulder Stallone vein. | ||
| Exactly, the squiggly one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a good one. | ||
| That's a good one. | ||
| What was the bodybuilder? | ||
| The fucking... | ||
| The French guy. | ||
| I forgot his name. | ||
| French guy? | ||
| Paul DeLay. | ||
| I don't know who that guy is. | ||
| That's an obscure reference. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I have obscure strongman references. | ||
| All types of bodybuilder references. | ||
| Yeah, that's a ridiculous one. | ||
| Look up Paul DeLay and tell me that he doesn't have that fucking... | ||
| He's famous for the squiggle. | ||
| So, have you thought about hiring a nutritionist? | ||
| I know what to do. | ||
| You know what to do? | ||
| I do know what to do. | ||
| It's just not easy doing it alone. | ||
| I need someone to, you know, literally know you can't do that. | ||
| You can't have that at one in the morning. | ||
| You can't eat a fucking In-N-Out right now. | ||
| You can't have fries right now. | ||
| Just stick to it. | ||
| It's hard to stick to it. | ||
| So is it just a self-control thing? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But I have self-control in spurts, which is weird. | ||
| There is Paul DeLay. | ||
| There he is. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| This guy's body is insane. | ||
| That doesn't even look real. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| What's with the suspenders? | ||
| That's two pictures in a row with him wearing suspenders. | ||
| They always have suspect outfits on and fucking body. | ||
| They always wear some wild, like, where did you get that? | ||
| Look at his jeans with the belt. | ||
| That's definitely Carl Kanai. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, he is swole. | |
| He's so sweet. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That guy's so big. | ||
| I used to look at magazines and want to be like that. | ||
| It's just crazy. | ||
| Like Ronnie Coleman and fucking... | ||
| Insane Science Project right there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| That's a science project. | ||
| It's amazing how many of those science projects exist, though. | ||
| I mean, that's what all those magazines are. | ||
| It's the weirdest conspiracy, and it is a conspiracy, that all those, like, if you're looking at those bodybuilding magazines and shit, that none of them, like, I don't know, maybe they do now, but back in the day, none of them were talking about how they did steroids. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| It was all dancing around it. | ||
| But they were also talking about, like, you know, I take creatine from, you know, Muscle Dick Hard Corporation, and this creatine is guaranteed to pack on 30 pounds of mass, and they were all, like, pretending that they got all that muscle from some stuff that, you know, it's like, barely works. | ||
| Like, creatine works a little bit. | ||
| But if you get to the Paul Delay levels... | ||
| No way. | ||
| You can't look like that. | ||
| A human being can't look like that. | ||
| I don't think people understand that. | ||
| No. | ||
| And I don't think I understand why the fuck they used to not talk about it. | ||
| Why was it so taboo? | ||
| Because it was illegal. | ||
| Yeah, but now it's illegal and everyone knows what you're doing. | ||
| It's like more out in the open now with all the baseball shit and this. | ||
| I don't think that it's wrong. | ||
| Every baseball player... | ||
| Oh, that's what he looks like now? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That looks like a meme. | ||
| That looks like something on the... | ||
| Yo, what the fuck? | ||
| That is insane. | ||
| What does it say above that, Jamie? | ||
| He already experienced some atrophy of his arms and back. | ||
| What had happened to him? | ||
| It just says he's clearly off anabolics and stuff. | ||
| Oh, I see. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Well, you know... | ||
| That guy, when he was as big as he was at the top, he had to be on just staggering amounts of that stuff. | ||
| What people don't understand is, even if you... | ||
| I do know one dude, though, I have to be honest. | ||
| I know one dude that I know who never took anything. | ||
| I know he didn't. | ||
| Because he wouldn't even eat vitamins. | ||
| This guy ate all his vegetables. | ||
| He's a very smart guy. | ||
| And he got really big. | ||
| Like, ridiculous. | ||
| He was my friend Brian Frazier. | ||
| He's a writer. | ||
| He's a comic out of Boston. | ||
| And at one point in time, he was fucking enormous. | ||
| And I know all he did was work out. | ||
| That's all he did. | ||
| He was just a, like, dedicated bodybuilder. | ||
| Dedicated to lifting weights. | ||
| He was fucking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gigantic. | |
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Some people just have those genetics. | ||
| No, it wasn't even genetics. | ||
| He was just dedicated. | ||
| Just dedicated. | ||
| Just dedicated, hard work, and he got fucking big. | ||
| Was he shredded? | ||
| Shredded. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| He was entering competitions. | ||
| He was ridiculously swole. | ||
| So much so that one time he went up on stage, he had a golf shirt on, like an alligator shirt, and he came off stage and I pulled him aside and said, dude, listen to me, you can't go on stage with short sleeve shirts. | ||
| He goes, why? | ||
| I go, because your arms are way too big. | ||
| I go, they're way too big. | ||
| They're distracting me. | ||
| I'm like, I'm your friend and they're distracting me. | ||
| You're up there, you're so intimidating. | ||
| He was so swole. | ||
| I was like, you can't go on stage like that. | ||
| Nobody wants to see that. | ||
| I feel like that's how I wanted to be at one point. | ||
| I feel like that's what I wanted. | ||
| Yeah, but... | ||
| Maybe it's the height thing. | ||
| You want to be wide that way. | ||
| It's because, you know, you're a little bit shorter than the normal man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You want to be tall that way. | ||
| You and I, we go east-west. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| We can't go north-south. | ||
| But I think that if you really wanted to do it, though, you would be like Brian. | ||
| You would be dedicated to it, and you'd really want to do it. | ||
| You'd get into it. | ||
| But it's one of those things where you want to do it, but you're also like a guy who really enjoys life. | ||
| And there's too many things that I have to be dedicated to, man. | ||
| It's fucking hard. | ||
| You don't have to be dedicated to music, to this, to that, to food, to fucking everybody, family. | ||
| It's like, come on, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How many more things I have to... | ||
| Well, I think if you do decide to do something like that, I think what you're saying is what's really the true thing that a lot of people are trying to avoid when it comes to losing weight or changing your life... | ||
| You have to be dedicated to that. | ||
| It can't be something you do like, hey, I'm dedicated to my music. | ||
| Hey, I'm dedicated to my golf game. | ||
| But I'm going to lose weight too. | ||
| No, you have to be dedicated. | ||
| Yes, that has to be your main goal in life is to be doing that. | ||
| You have to focus on that. | ||
| It has to be one of them. | ||
| You're going to try to change your chemistry. | ||
| And when people do it, it's so fucking impressive. | ||
| I mean, how many people have you met that have lost like 100 pounds and you just want to just... | ||
| Shake their hand and go, dude, you fucking did it. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| You lost a hundred pounds. | ||
| I lost 80 and I gained it fucking back. | ||
| You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| My fluctuation. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Have you ever thought about, I mean, I know you love food, but have you ever thought about, like, changing the kind of foods you eat? | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| I don't think it's the fine foods that I eat. | ||
| I think it's the refined sugars and the disgusting shit that I decide to eat. | ||
| Like a chipwitch that I had last night. | ||
| What'd you have? | ||
| A chipwitch. | ||
| What's a chipwitch? | ||
| It's a fucking two Toll House cookies with ice cream in between. | ||
| That sounds awesome. | ||
| It was good and it was melted and I still ate it. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| That's fucking disgusting. | ||
| It's piglet shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That sounds great. | |
| He actually had it in his pocket for about a half an hour before I hate it. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah, so... | ||
| I bet it was glorious when it was going down. | ||
| It was. | ||
| My friend Aubrey has the best way of looking at it. | ||
| We were talking about it, and it was like, it's so crazy that just a few moments of mouth pleasure is worth fucking up your entire body. | ||
| Like, your body, the thing that carries you around in this life, the thing that you need more than anything. | ||
| And just for a few moments of mouth pleasure, just... | ||
| And then you're feeling your whole body going... | ||
| What did you just throw in here and have us deal with, you asshole? | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's fucking nuts. | ||
| You asshole. | ||
| It's fucking nuts. | ||
| What a cruel, sick, fucked up joke nature has played on us. | ||
| To make the things that are the most delicious going down, the worst for your body. | ||
| That's a fucking conspiracy. | ||
| What a cunt nature is. | ||
| Nature's a dirty cunt. | ||
| Bitch. | ||
| What a bitch. | ||
| Can you imagine, man? | ||
| Like... | ||
| If you're eating fried chicken with waffles, okay? | ||
| Fried chicken with waffles is one of the most fucking bang-up meals America's ever created. | ||
| Like a good, solid... | ||
| You're gonna put butter on the waffle, right? | ||
| Of course! | ||
| Like Roscoe's. | ||
| Roscoe's chicken and waffles. | ||
| Just the sheer amount of sugar you are taking in. | ||
| With the waffles... | ||
| What drink are you gonna have? | ||
| What? | ||
| Coca-Cola! | ||
| I'm not even gonna pretend to have a Diet Coke. | ||
| You gotta get the fucking... | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Ten times sweeter than Kool-Aid. | ||
| What is Sunset? | ||
| It's orange drink, red drink, and yellow drink mixed. | ||
| Just throw them all together? | ||
| That's the Sunset? | ||
| It's fucking stupid. | ||
| But then if you want to get nuts, you throw butter on the fried chicken, hot sauce, maple syrup. | ||
| Definitely hot sauce. | ||
| But then you have to have the grits as well that has mad butter in it. | ||
| And, you know, it's like... | ||
| When does it end? | ||
| I think the issue is the sheer grams of sugar you're taking in. | ||
| From the waffle and the maple syrup alone, you must be taking in an ungodly amount of sugar. | ||
| Yeah, straight off that stuff. | ||
| Yeah, because I drench those things, too. | ||
| The way I do it is, like, if I'm having some maple syrup... | ||
| You're gonna go in. | ||
| It's gonna be covered. | ||
| Going in. | ||
| Yeah, I'm not gonna drizzle it and go, I wish I would've had a little bit more maple syrup, but I'm being sensible. | ||
| Nah, fuck that. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| Yeah, if you're eating Roscoe's, you know, you've probably already made some critical errors. | ||
| And you're doing a crazy diet right now, right? | ||
| Right now I am, yeah. | ||
| So that's what I'm saying. | ||
| Like, if you were... | ||
| You can't even have a cheat day, can you? | ||
| You're not supposed to. | ||
| I had a beer yesterday. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| I don't think you're really supposed to have a beer. | ||
| See, you didn't go all out. | ||
| If you have a cheat day, you should just like... | ||
| Yeah, I haven't gone all out. | ||
| I've just decided to try it for 60 days. | ||
| Well, I want to just see what it's... | ||
| I don't think you really evaluate... | ||
| I think... | ||
| I've been eating pretty healthy, but one way my whole life. | ||
| And I took some time off of gluten for a while. | ||
| And I liked that. | ||
| But what I liked about it was that I felt like really what was going on was I was just taking in way less sugar. | ||
| By not having pastas and breads, which I really love, I was just taking in way less sugar. | ||
| And I lost weight, my face got thinner, and I was like, this is interesting. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| How much of what I'm taking in is sugar? | ||
| So I went back to occasionally eating bread and just trying to avoid it. | ||
| And then from the last 15 or maybe 15 days, something like that, I've been doing this where I'm doing nothing. | ||
| No grains, no pasta, no bread, no sugar. | ||
| Nothing other than plants. | ||
| Vegetables, fats, coconut oil, shit like that, and meat. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| So it's kind of like the Atkins diet from back in the day, right? | ||
| Sort of, but more fats. | ||
| More fats? | ||
| Yeah, more fats even than proteins. | ||
| Actually, what the diet is saying is that we use too much protein. | ||
| In that, like, if you want to do, like, some extreme powerlifting and you want to get to be the size of Paul Dillet? | ||
| Dillet? | ||
| Dillet? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Arnold Schwarzenegger? | ||
| How about that? | ||
| You gotta, you know, you have to eat a lot more than the average person. | ||
| But for the average person, the average person that's, like, reasonably athletic, your body doesn't really want to process all that extra protein. | ||
| And what it really needs to burn is fats. | ||
| And so... | ||
| Your body will convert, you know, anything into energy that you eat. | ||
| But if you live off of a carbohydrate-based diet, their argument is, you know, you're subject to more fluctuations. | ||
| Your levels rise and fall. | ||
| That's like when you crash after you eat. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And when, you know, you haven't eaten in a while, you're starving. | ||
| And a lot of that, I think, is also related to gut bacteria. | ||
| And I'm starting to learn more about that, but not enough really where I can talk. | ||
| Probiotic stuff? | ||
| Probiotics, gut bacteria, and just the amount of different things that you eat. | ||
| There's certain types of gut bacteria that thrive off of unhealthy food. | ||
| And if you're eating a lot of sugars, apparently what they're saying is that there's different types of gut bacteria that crave that sugar. | ||
| And so when you haven't had it in a while, that gut bacteria, even if you're full, you might have had like pot roast and mashed potatoes and vegetables and it was like nothing fucked up at all, right? | ||
| You eat that and your body's like, hey asshole, where's the sugar? | ||
| Come on! | ||
| Come on! | ||
| Because they're craving it. | ||
| It's craving it. | ||
| Like those rumbles that you would get. | ||
| So I don't know if that's the case with me, so I'm just giving it 60 whole days to see what it's like. | ||
| And if I like how I'm feeling after 60 days, I'll tell you right now, though, just a couple weeks in, it's awesome. | ||
| I feel great. | ||
| I feel great. | ||
| I don't feel very hungry in between meals, which is interesting. | ||
| So I go eat, and then I guess once you get fat adapted, you just don't have as many crashes. | ||
| I just don't know if it's what I want to do sustainably, because it's hard when you go to a restaurant or something like that. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| You're telling me, man. | ||
| You can't even have rice? | ||
| Like, there's a lot of delicious dishes that come with rice. | ||
| Like, you can't even have rice with a meal? | ||
| Like, that seems so extreme. | ||
| It's unbelievable. | ||
| But so far, so good. | ||
| Every time I've ever attempted to lose weight, it was like I did that Atkins diet back in the day, but it felt like I'm eating eggs and sausage and all this nasty shit and still losing weight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I didn't understand that. | ||
| But I fucking ate a piece of bread and it would be over. | ||
| I put five pounds on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| It's not worth it. | ||
| And then you feel shittier than you did because you gained all that weight and you ate all that disgusting stuff that's gotta be sticking to you somewhere, right? | ||
| Well, it's just hard for your body to process. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It becomes sugar. | ||
| And now it, yo, it fucking makes you shit really badly. | ||
| Really badly. | ||
| Wrists like you, you can't leave the house. | ||
| You have to run to the fucking bed. | ||
| But the Atkins is a little bit different than this diet that I'm doing in that this diet just has more fat. | ||
| But you still go into that same thing, right? | ||
| The ketosis? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what they want you to do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the point of these diets? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Yeah, so your body starts burning fat. | ||
| It's fascinating. | ||
| The most fascinating thing about it is seeing people argue it from both sides. | ||
| Seeing people argue that this is bad for your health and you're fucking up and don't do this. | ||
| People get upset. | ||
| They get upset like you're trying Satanism. | ||
| You know, it's like all of a sudden, like, I'm thinking maybe Satan's got a point. | ||
| I'm gonna go meet these guys and I'm just gonna see what's going on. | ||
| Like, that's how they're behaving when you're talking about just going on this ketogenic diet. | ||
| They pretend like you're doing something evil. | ||
| Like, don't do it! | ||
| You're gonna fuck yourself up, man! | ||
| Cut it out! | ||
| Yeah, like anyone really fucking knows. | ||
| And then they start posting all these pro-carb, like, you know, more carbs, hashtag carb up. | ||
| You know, carb is brain fuel. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| What are you... | ||
| Just relax. | ||
| Relax. | ||
| I said I'm trying it for 60 days. | ||
| Listen, I'm not going to lie. | ||
| It's not the easiest thing to have to give up those sheep's milk agnolote and fucking gnocchi. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Gnocchi is very good stuff. | ||
| Pasta, linguine with clam sauce. | ||
| There's a place that just opened up directly across the street from my house. | ||
| Incredible. | ||
| It has one of my favorite dishes ever. | ||
| It's like cacio y pepe. | ||
| Just cheese and pepper with pasta. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| But she does it with the pink peppercorn. | ||
| So it's like you're eating a bowl of flowers. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's one of the most incredible things in life. | ||
| I crave it. | ||
| God damn it, this diet's bullshit. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| My bad. | ||
| I'm sorry about talking about pasta. | ||
| Please, keep talking. | ||
| I'll take my pants off real quick. | ||
| Pasta whore. | ||
| That's what you are. | ||
| There's just something about pasta that's, it's like, it's the real comfort food, you know? | ||
| It's comfort. | ||
| I mean, for you, for me, for sure. | ||
| Yeah, I like raviolis, like just cheese raviolis with like a good sauce. | ||
| You like them fried? | ||
| Fried? | ||
| Fried ravioli. | ||
| I've never had it. | ||
| Just fucking do it as if you were doing a chicken cutlet. | ||
| Put it in the egg. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Bread crumb. | ||
| You'll thank me. | ||
| Trust me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Like a chicken cutlet. | ||
| It's unbelievable. | ||
| Fried ravioli. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| It's unbelievable. | ||
| Jamie's shaking his head. | ||
| You've been all over this country. | ||
| I'm surprised you have never eaten fried ravioli. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a Midwestern thing. | ||
| There's some standards that I have that I have to stick with. | ||
| If I go to Philly, I'm having a cheesesteak. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| That's the standard. | ||
| I have to stick with that. | ||
| Do we eat pork? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| What about the pork sandwich? | ||
| I feel like the cheesesteak is a bit overrated over there. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| Listen to me. | ||
| The guy at my deli. | ||
| In Queens, makes a fucking better cheesesteak. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Than who? | ||
| Than all of Philadelphia? | ||
| No, no, let's not get crazy. | ||
| But you're saying better. | ||
| Because they're usually not flavored. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| They just do the steak, the cheese, there's no salt. | ||
| There needs to be salt. | ||
| A little bit at least. | ||
| A little bit of salt with meat is always good, right? | ||
| You know, it brings out the flavor. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't want to have to drench it in hot sauce or ketchup. | ||
| Imagine that, like you're telling everybody, everybody's fucking up, you need salt. | ||
| Get it together, bitch. | ||
| It's that simple. | ||
| Just throw some salt on that. | ||
| It's that simple. | ||
| And they've yet to... | ||
| Well, that's fogo de chow. | ||
| Do you ever eat at fogo de chow? | ||
| I have, yep. | ||
| One of the things about fogo de chow, when you get a nice piece of picanha from them, it's always got salt on it. | ||
| It's always got a nice salty... | ||
| They have a baste that they baste the meat on when they put them over the fire. | ||
| That place is ridiculous. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| So good. | ||
| When they bring out that whole side of beef rib and it just... | ||
| It's over. | ||
| Well, it's ridiculous too because you just get right after it. | ||
| You sit down at one of those places. | ||
| You have a red and a green on your little card, like a poker chip. | ||
| And you flip it over whenever you're ready to party. | ||
| Let's do this. | ||
| You put it on green. | ||
| These dudes just start swooping in on you with skewers. | ||
| Straight up. | ||
| And swords. | ||
| Woo! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Have you ever flipped a Tourette? | ||
| Flipped a Tourette? | ||
| No. | ||
| Have you ever flipped... | ||
| Flipped it to red. | ||
| Have you ever flipped the thing to red? | ||
| Oh yeah, definitely. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| It stays on green. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Until we literally gotta waddle out. | ||
| You will. | ||
| And this explains my issue. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're all different. | ||
| We all have different needs. | ||
| I can't do it. | ||
| Damn, I feel like... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Now I feel a little bit down. | ||
| Don't feel down. | ||
| Ari Shafir is our undisputed world champion of continuing to eat at Fogo de Chow. | ||
| No one's been able to touch him. | ||
| Ari outbeats... | ||
| He outeats Joey. | ||
| He outeats me. | ||
| He just keeps going. | ||
| Ari Shafir can put away food like probably almost no one I've ever seen at one of those Fogo de Chows. | ||
| He's ridiculous. | ||
| He just keeps it coming. | ||
| I'm like, where are you putting this? | ||
| He just keeps it coming. | ||
| Does he go get the rice and everything that just goes for the meats? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I mean, he might have a couple of fucking pieces of lettuce. | |
| He's there to party, you know? | ||
| That dude just, he keeps that fucking green. | ||
| Like, we all tap out, and we're like, Jesus, sorry. | ||
| And the guy's coming by with some lamb chops. | ||
| He's like, sure, bring it over. | ||
| Do you have any of that jelly? | ||
| Any of that lime jelly? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| What is the jelly? | ||
| The mint. | ||
| Mint. | ||
| How many of these do you smoke a night? | ||
| A lot. | ||
| I'm usually hitting the oil, you know, all day long. | ||
| Hitting that pure oil. | ||
| Taking some fucking mushrooms. | ||
| I just got some nice mushrooms in yesterday. | ||
| You mean like food mushrooms or magic ones? | ||
| No, magical ones, yeah. | ||
| How long before those are legal? | ||
| How long before, after pop becomes legal, we all just get together and go, hey, cut this shit. | ||
| All the people that made it illegal, they're all dead now. | ||
| We know they were liars. | ||
| I don't even think it's illegal. | ||
| I don't know it's illegal. | ||
| I just think it's legal. | ||
| All it is is... | ||
| It's something that grows from fucking... | ||
| Your Honor, may I speak with my client for a moment? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| I just didn't... | ||
| I didn't know. | ||
| I wasn't... | ||
| What do you want me to say? | ||
| Sir, you're a registered voter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| You are a... | ||
| You have a driver's license. | ||
| You have to know what is and is not legal as far as what you're being arrested for. | ||
| I'm a bad citizen. | ||
| You can't say that, sir. | ||
| So let's try this again. | ||
| Have you ever been hit in the head? | ||
| Once. | ||
| I have reason to believe my client has sustained a head injury earlier in his life and virtually never recovered. | ||
| What he needs is our care. | ||
| What he doesn't need is our judgment. | ||
| I'm like Vincent Giganti. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He only feels normal. | ||
| Fucking walking around like I'm loco. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He only feels normal when he gets mushrooms in him. | |
| Therapeutic use of mushrooms is on its way, folks. | ||
| There's no doubt about that. | ||
| It's going to happen. | ||
| It should have happened a long time ago. | ||
| It would be better for all of us. | ||
| My girl is studying that, too. | ||
| Is she? | ||
| Yeah, she's into holistic medicine and healing through psychedelics. | ||
| There's a lot of people that are involved in that now, including MAPS, the, I don't know what it is, Multidisciplinary Association or something, Psychedelic Studies. | ||
| They're acknowledging it, right? | ||
| Oh, they've made some massive strides in getting... | ||
| Trying to get therapeutic use of MDMA for soldiers and other people suffering from PTSD. And they're showing all these applied uses of really excellent compounds that have been demonized. | ||
| And because they've been demonized, people that could really use them. | ||
| Aren't getting them. | ||
| Like, can you abuse them? | ||
| But I think we've already established that's a dumb argument, because you can abuse anything. | ||
| You can go to a store and buy a hammer, and you can build a house with it, or you can hit yourself in the dick. | ||
| If you're fucking stupid. | ||
| You can do whatever you want, right? | ||
| Like, you can't, you can't, that's not a good argument, that someone could abuse it so it shouldn't be legal. | ||
| There's massive amounts of shit to abuse all over us all the time. | ||
| So stop. | ||
| Cars. | ||
| You can, I mean, anything. | ||
| Bikes. | ||
| You can abuse everything. | ||
| I think the use of them, they're magic. | ||
| There's a reason why we call them magic mushrooms. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| They're fucking magic. | ||
| You can have incredible experiences on them. | ||
| And the fact that we are not allowed to, and that we have to worry about someone locking us in a cage, if we're doing some shit that's not hurting anybody, it's not even hurting you. | ||
| Like, mushrooms don't hurt you. | ||
| You have to take some insane amount of them for it to be like the LD50 rate. | ||
| It's like, you have to take pounds of it, right? | ||
| What's the LD50 from psychedelic mushrooms for psilocybin? | ||
| It's really high. | ||
| It's like something stupid. | ||
| Like, you almost can't even eat it. | ||
| How many pounds do you have to eat? | ||
| I'll tell you this. | ||
| Two grams had me on my fucking ass. | ||
| This is for mice. | ||
| You killed mice with mushrooms. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
First of all, here's something fucked up. | |
| Scroll down again. | ||
| Scroll up again, rather, so I can see the study. | ||
| The name of the study, what's the name of the study at the top? | ||
| How many dried mushrooms would I have to eat to die from an overdose of psilocybin? | ||
| What is this on? | ||
| What website is this? | ||
| Shroomery. | ||
| Shroomery. | ||
| How fucking crazy is that? | ||
| The dude asks. | ||
| He asks, how many mushrooms do I have to eat before I overdose? | ||
| Using the data for rats and accepting a median of 1% potency, it would require the consumption of 1,680 grams of mushrooms to reach the LD50 for a 60 kilogram rat. | ||
| You have to eat a lot. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| That's a lot of grams. | ||
| That's a lot of grams. | ||
| But rats are tougher than us. | ||
| Rats can eat rats. | ||
| Yeah, they don't fucking die, exactly. | ||
| Yeah, they eat each other, man. | ||
| You can't even go off that. | ||
| I've told this story a hundred times. | ||
| I killed a rat once in my driveway, in my garage. | ||
| Went out in the morning to clean the trap and it was gone. | ||
| They had eaten him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| The others. | ||
| The others had eaten him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oof. | ||
| Dude, I mean, down to nothing. | ||
| Down to, like, the tail. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| It was insane. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Savages, man. | ||
| It was just... | ||
| They're survivors. | ||
| Yeah, but it was so creepy to think that I'm sharing my house with cannibals. | ||
| Like, these are... | ||
| Rodent animal cannibals. | ||
| That when one of them dies, the other ones just burn through them. | ||
| And there's a bunch of them around me. | ||
| They're in my ceiling. | ||
| I hear them crawling around in there. | ||
| They're in the house. | ||
| They're just too small. | ||
| Or, you know, they're too small for them to kill me. | ||
| That shit freaks me the fuck out, man. | ||
| I had a squirrel in my house one time in the wall. | ||
| And you hear them three in the morning. | ||
| I'm sitting there three in the morning naked with my fucking... | ||
| Just watching SportsCenter. | ||
| And they start fighting, screaming. | ||
| I'm like, holy, what the fuck is that? | ||
| In the ceiling? | ||
| In the ceiling. | ||
| I start hitting the ceiling with the broom. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I start hitting the closets, like, trying to scare them. | ||
| And then, eventually, the motherfucker ate through the wall. | ||
| One day I was laying on the couch and I just suddenly open my eyes and look up. | ||
| And he's just fucking looking at me. | ||
| We make eye contact and it's like... | ||
| It's a fucking... | ||
| It's a standoff. | ||
| It's about to be, you know, like a Mexican shootout. | ||
| That is hilarious. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| So then my... | ||
| Then my Greek landlord decided to put traps out and I think that he... | ||
| Literally slaughtered about 60 of them from the neighborhood. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It's not his fault. | ||
| It's not his fault. | ||
| It was in the trap. | ||
| The trap. | ||
| Now listen. | ||
| They did bad things to the neighborhood. | ||
| They would eat through lines. | ||
| Poor little squirrel. | ||
| Nobody gives a fuck about rats. | ||
| If he killed 60 rats, it would be like, good, kill 60,000. | ||
| Man, I now feel bad about that fucking shit. | ||
| Don't feel bad. | ||
| Because if you kill- Why is it if you kill squirrels, people get bummed out? | ||
| But if you kill rats, people are like, yeah, you gotta kill them. | ||
| Shouldn't fucking kill anything, but at the end of the day, shit happens. | ||
| Yeah, but if you're killing something with a trap, you're definitely trying to kill it. | ||
| Yeah, I had no involvement. | ||
| But I'm just wondering why we so readily accept killing rats but not squirrels. | ||
| How do rats feel about that? | ||
| It's viewed as vermin. | ||
| I feel like squirrels are viewed as vermin to a lot of people. | ||
| I feel like that's the case. | ||
| Like an issue. | ||
| Like a big feral hog. | ||
| It's the same shit. | ||
| No. | ||
| In certain parts of the world, they're considered just as much of a nuisance as a rat. | ||
| Wow, that's crazy. | ||
| Where? | ||
| Certain islands. | ||
| Squirrels are just thinking of them as rats. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| They think of them like rats? | ||
| I feel like squirrels, just in New York, a lot of people are just fucking scared of squirrels. | ||
| Well, do you know the difference between tree squirrels, those cute ones that everybody likes, and those ground squirrels? | ||
| Mm-mm. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Ground squirrels are fucking crazy. | ||
| Ground squirrels... | ||
| I was on this ranch in California, and they have a ground squirrel problem, and we're driving down this road, and as we're driving down this road, you're watching these little tiny creatures pop their head out of the ground, run across, and jump into another hole. | ||
| There's holes all over the place. | ||
| And what are they growing crops over there? | ||
| They were trying to... | ||
| They got a bunch of different shit that grow in there. | ||
| They have... | ||
| They have cattle that are grazing. | ||
| They have a bunch of different things going on there. | ||
| They're fucking ruining the system. | ||
| They can't do anything about these things. | ||
| There's so many of them. | ||
| They say there's so many ground squirrels that the biomass of these things is like a biomass of a giant herd of cattle or something like that. | ||
| There's so many of them. | ||
| It's like a hundred cows. | ||
| That's how many of these little fucking ground squirrels are just running around this area. | ||
| So what do they do? | ||
| I saw that they do these... | ||
| Where it gives them a shock. | ||
| They have these things where they put food in, and it kills them humanely. | ||
| It shocks them. | ||
| I don't know how many there are. | ||
| I don't know if they know. | ||
| Like, if you're driving down the road, and you just keep seeing these little heads pop up and run across. | ||
| There's another one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bang! | |
| There's another one. | ||
| Bang! | ||
| Pop up, run across. | ||
| Little tiny thing, little tiny road, and boom! | ||
| Jumps in a hole. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| Jumps in a hole. | ||
| And you watch them scramble all across the ground. | ||
| You're like, whoa! | ||
| If these were rats, I would be freaking the fuck out right now. | ||
| Flippin'. | ||
| I'd be going, Jesus, look at all these rats! | ||
| If you were driving down New York City and that's what you saw with rats, just popping up and running across, popping in the hole, everybody would be like, let's get the fuck out of here! | ||
| This place is overrun! | ||
| We gotta get out of the city! | ||
| It would be like that scene in Aliens where the dude was talking about nuking it from orbit. | ||
| Straight up. | ||
| We gotta get out of the city. | ||
| We gotta poison everything. | ||
| We gotta take five years off the city and then we can return. | ||
| We just poison everything there for five years. | ||
| It's heavy. | ||
| But these little ground squirrels, they're a little cuter. | ||
| Slightly cuter. | ||
| So they're more accepted. | ||
| Like, all those little animals are cute. | ||
| Little rats, not that cute. | ||
| Not really into them. | ||
| There's something about them. | ||
| They're just too untrustworthy. | ||
| They're too rat-like. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People that have rats for pets, though, they love them. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| I mean, if you have a domesticated animal and it grows up with you in its care for its entire life, then you become like family, you know, just like a dog or a cat. | ||
| But if you've ever been around a feral cat and you've ever been around a feral dog, like, ooh, that can be really scary. | ||
| I had a cat that I... My mother rescued a cat when I was younger. | ||
| And the fucking cat attacked me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| Was it a feral cat? | ||
| It was. | ||
| It was a white cat and it was... | ||
| It was abused. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| And I wasn't like, you know... | ||
| I was fucking with it a little bit, like, you know... | ||
| That's scary. | ||
| Grabbing its neck and shit. | ||
| Like, you know, the back where it's skin... | ||
| And he fucking snapped and bit the shit out of me and scratched me. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Went nuts, he wouldn't stop. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| But it's alright. | ||
| I fucked with him. | ||
| I deserved it. | ||
| They can be terrifying, though. | ||
| It's amazing how powerful a little cat is. | ||
| They're ferocious. | ||
| It's non-stop. | ||
| They're too quick. | ||
| You don't know what to do. | ||
| And you panic because, like, what the fuck is this? | ||
| Fucking thing. | ||
| He's attacking me? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not a human. | ||
| And they're gonna go full bore, whereas you're gonna kind of pull back a little. | ||
| It's such a better design as far as killing things. | ||
| Their bodies are so well designed. | ||
| When you watch that guy that was jumping across those buildings... | ||
| Cats would be like, bitch, I do that all day. | ||
| Easy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Easy. | |
| They do that so gently around my house. | ||
| You know, they just leap all of a sudden, boom, they're on the couch. | ||
| Leap, boom, they're on the table. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Walk across, leap, boom, they're on the ground. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They walk on railings, balancing act on railings. | |
| What about those, um, I love watching those shows on National Geographic, like when they make the kill. | ||
| Then they drag it all the way up into the tree. | ||
| Oh, like leopards. | ||
| You know, like leopards dragging a moose up into the fucking... | ||
| Like, you kidding me? | ||
| They're so scary. | ||
| That's a design. | ||
| They grab them with their teeth. | ||
| Look at this leopard. | ||
| This is the recent one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| This was in India, right? | ||
| It got loose and was just jacking people. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Just jumped up and bit that guy. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Can you jump in the water? | ||
| Is that safe or no? | ||
| Like, can they swim? | ||
| I don't think they swim. | ||
| I think that lepers won't jump in the water. | ||
| But what if they do, man? | ||
| Oh my god, look at this thing biting him. | ||
| Oh, man, he's... | ||
| That guy got fucked up. | ||
| Someone threw him a fucking stick. | ||
| You saw someone throw him a stick? | ||
| Yeah, Jesus Christ, that's terrifying, man. | ||
| That is fucking terrifying. | ||
| That animal's so powerful, too. | ||
| That's a big cat. | ||
| That thing looked like it was 150 pounds. | ||
| At least. | ||
| Oof. | ||
| Just imagine a 150 pound house cat fucking you up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuck all that, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| We're so poorly designed. | ||
| When it comes to being able to defend ourselves against something like that, we're so poorly designed. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Other animals have such a way better shot. | ||
| Athletically. | ||
| Even chimps. | ||
| Chimps are so much stronger than us. | ||
| They have a way better shot at surviving a cat attack. | ||
| They're fucking swinging from trees going nuts. | ||
| That was one of the things they found about those big giant chimps in the Congo that they nest on the ground like gorillas. | ||
| Gorillas nest on the ground because nobody wants to fuck with a gorilla. | ||
| Cats don't want to fuck with a gorilla. | ||
| It's like too much work. | ||
| You could easily get your jaw broke. | ||
| You could easily get your leg broke. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They can't fuck with gorillas. | ||
| It's too hard. | ||
| They might catch a baby slipping. | ||
| You know, they might be able to catch a baby. | ||
| Like, you know, if he gets separated from his mom at the right... | ||
| You know, that's possible. | ||
| But like a regular-sized gorilla? | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| No fucking way. | ||
| They'll have to be stalking. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So they sleep in the ground where chimps sleep in the trees. | ||
| Chimps still gotta be careful. | ||
| But they found these big giant chimps in the Congo. | ||
| They call them the Beely Ape or the Bondo Ape. | ||
| And, um... | ||
| They were just a legend for the longest time. | ||
| They were in that book, Michael Crichton's book? | ||
| Is that who it was? | ||
| The Congo? | ||
| Is that who wrote that? | ||
| I've seen the movie. | ||
| Was it Crichton that wrote that? | ||
| Did you see that movie, Congo? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was kind of silly. | ||
| Yeah, it was terrible. | ||
| It was terrible. | ||
| Who's that guy with the accent? | ||
| You know, the one that's always in all those movies. | ||
| The weirdo. | ||
| Which guy's that? | ||
| Fucking weird guy. | ||
| He was like the... | ||
| He was the guide. | ||
| He was terrible. | ||
| He's in like... | ||
| I don't remember who he was. | ||
| You'll see his face. | ||
| He's like, oh, this fucking guy. | ||
| It was just not a very good movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| That guy? | ||
| That's not him. | ||
| That's not him. | ||
| But that was the guy from the Congo. | ||
| Where's the doctor? | ||
| Her? | ||
| Nah, there's another one. | ||
| The one who was looking for... | ||
| Oh, there he is. | ||
| What? | ||
| Who? | ||
| There he is. | ||
| Oh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Timothy... | |
| That guy? | ||
| You've seen him before. | ||
| But that guy's great. | ||
| That's the guy from Rocky Horror Picture Show. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That fucking guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Tim Curry. | |
| Tim Curry. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I like him. | ||
| Well, that movie dealt with... | ||
| See that monkey up there? | ||
| That one picture. | ||
| That's supposedly what these giant chimps look like. | ||
| So in the movie, they were these fictional animals that were super smart and they were really big. | ||
| But it's based on this thing. | ||
| This is a real one. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| This is a real one that someone had killed at the turn of the century. | ||
| That's one that they shot at an airport in Africa. | ||
| Look at the size of that thing in comparison to those men. | ||
| You're talking about a chimp that could get to be like 400 pounds. | ||
| They're enormous. | ||
| That is ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah, and so they sleep on the ground, just like gorillas do. | ||
| And there's a small population of them. | ||
| They just recently found them? | ||
| Well, there's a Swiss, I think there's a Swiss wildlife photographer named Carl Armand, and he took some photos of them with a camera trap. | ||
| Put up a photo, camera trap, Bondo ape. | ||
| I think I'm saying his name right, Carl Armand. | ||
| But he... | ||
| Yeah, the upper left. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Those photos. | ||
| Yeah, that's the same thing. | ||
| See, one of them, what does it say? | ||
| Carl Amman. | ||
| Is that one also in... | ||
| Just for everybody, it's A... Excuse me. | ||
| Carl, K-A-R-L-A-M-M-A-N-N. And he got these camera trap photos of them walking upright. | ||
| And that was the most fucked up thing about it. | ||
| Holy shit, I didn't even realize what I was looking at. | ||
| Yeah, that's a six foot tall chimp that's walking upright. | ||
| I mean, they're really big. | ||
| They're way bigger than a regular chimp. | ||
| And they have a crest in their head like gorillas do. | ||
| You know, gorillas are one of the few primates that has, if you look at its skull... | ||
| They have a crest in the skull where these massive chewing muscles and biting muscles all sort of congregate on their head. | ||
| They have these huge jaw muscles and these huge clampdown muscles. | ||
| And they have this cleft in the top of their head. | ||
| I pull up Bondo ape skull and they found the skulls of these things. | ||
| And at first they were like, okay, is this a hybrid? | ||
| Like, what is this? | ||
| See how it has like a crest in the top of the head? | ||
| So now that they know that it's a real animal, they're like, whoa, this is the first chimp they've ever found that has a crest like this. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| And it's also, they were thinking it was some sort of a hybrid. | ||
| They were thinking like maybe it was part gorilla, part chimp. | ||
| Is that possible? | ||
| But then the genetics, they've gotten, I think, from stool samples and some other methods of acquiring them. | ||
| They think that it's just its own kind of chimp. | ||
| Just a breed that only exists in this one area. | ||
| Pretty fucking crazy. | ||
| You think about it, like, they've only had photos of this thing since this guy, Carl Amann, in the, I think, the 90s he did that, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What does it say as far as when he first got the photos on it? | ||
| I guess it's apparently been, like, legend. | ||
| But the Congo is giant, man. | ||
| It's like the United States. | ||
| It's huge. | ||
| Like, the Congo rainforest, if you look at it on a map... | ||
| They'll take the actual size of the US and put it in the Congo. | ||
| You can put it in the Congo. | ||
| You almost can. | ||
| It's pretty close. | ||
| It's pretty close. | ||
| It's basically the size of the United States, give or take. | ||
| Even if it was half the size, it's fucking crazy. | ||
| Who the hell knows what's in there? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| You can never find everything that's there. | ||
| But this one area where this thing lives is, of course, they're probably, like, making cell phones out of there or something like that, pulling minerals out of the ground that they need for, you know, the iWatch or something. | ||
| So who knows? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean... | |
| This is how big it is? | ||
| Two-thirds the size of Western Europe. | ||
| Two-thirds the size of Western Europe. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| What does it look like in comparison to the United States? | ||
| I had a picture of it. | ||
| It covered about half the U.S., but I think it was the DR of the Congo, so I'm not sure if it's a different size. | ||
| That's a fucking pretty heavy-duty piece right there. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Home Midwest. | ||
| I definitely exaggerated. | ||
| But it's still unbelievably huge. | ||
| Just look. | ||
| It goes from the bottom of the United States all the way up to Canada. | ||
| But only, I would say, like a third of the size. | ||
| Slightly bigger than Alaska, maybe? | ||
| Definitely bigger than Alaska. | ||
| Alaska's pretty big, too. | ||
| How much is it? | ||
| It's not really half. | ||
| It doesn't look like half to me. | ||
| It looks more like a third. | ||
| Like, scroll down a little so we can see it better. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that doesn't really look like half to me. | ||
| Does it? | ||
| Looks like slightly... | ||
| Yeah, slightly less than half. | ||
| Maybe 40% or something like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And almost 80% of people have AIDS. Really? | ||
| That's what it says. | ||
| 80% of the people in the Congo have AIDS? More likely. | ||
| Are likely to have HIV AIDS. Wow. | ||
| Heavy duty. | ||
| So, if you go to the condo, the Congo will wear a condom, right? | ||
| Well, we knew that. | ||
| You gotta wear the full body condom like fucking Naked Gunny. | ||
| It's just insane how diverse... | ||
| That part of the world is. | ||
| Like the amount of different animals that exist in that one crazy rainforest area. | ||
| They have all sorts of wild shit in there. | ||
| We were looking at videos of that thing last night. | ||
| That shoebill bird. | ||
| That giant prehistoric looking dinosaur bird. | ||
| That lives in the Congo too. | ||
| The one with the long... | ||
| Yeah, crazy long hatchet face. | ||
| It's got like a long battle axe for a face. | ||
| It's like a five foot tall bird. | ||
| Oh, scary fucking things. | ||
| Imagine getting chased down by one of those. | ||
| Yeah, there it is. | ||
| It's two days in a row the shoe bell has made a... | ||
| Look at the fucking size of that thing. | ||
| That thing looks crazy. | ||
| It just looks like he's demented. | ||
| That one doesn't look nearly as tall as five feet. | ||
| Is five feet as big as they get? | ||
| Look at the fucking eyes in that thing, man. | ||
| He's giving it a rat. | ||
| Look how stupid it is, too. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| It's an idiot. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| It's so dumb. | ||
| Just a dumb old dinosaur. | ||
| That's a dinosaur, man. | ||
| I mean, for real. | ||
| What are we looking at? | ||
| Is this a real animal? | ||
| Are you fucking shitting me? | ||
| This looks like Avatar. | ||
| This looks like some Avatar shit. | ||
| It really does. | ||
| The fact that that is a real animal. | ||
| That this lady is feeding this animal rats. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| It's gulping down mice and fish and shit. | ||
| Look at the face on that thing. | ||
| Look at its eye. | ||
| It's like fucking hatchet face from Cry Baby. | ||
| Look at its fucking eyes. | ||
| It's like, I don't believe that you really can tell how intelligent someone is if you look into their eyes, but I do believe you can see when something's dumb as fuck. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, you can't tell looking at somebody how smart they are, but you can definitely tell looking at that thing there's not a whole lot going on. | ||
| There's like some simple wiring. | ||
| Fuck that thing. | ||
| Jesus Christ, Jamie. | ||
| Yo, that's crazy. | ||
| Look at this photo. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Jamie just pulled up a photo of this bird. | ||
| That's pretty fucking amazing, Lucan. | ||
| Dude, someone needs to make a horror movie where these things just, you know, someone lets them out of a lab in Florida. | ||
| You know, there's like a Florida University lab. | ||
| And they get out and they start breeding. | ||
| And they start talking to each other. | ||
| That looks like one of those angry birds from the thing, from the game, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
The eyes. | |
| Did they use one of those? | ||
| The eyes. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| Those dead eyes. | ||
| Those dead dinosaur eyes. | ||
| Those eyes are the reason why we have houses. | ||
| Yo, that's fucking creepy, yo. | ||
| That's creeping me the fuck out. | ||
| Those eyes are the reason why we have houses and weapons. | ||
| Those houses are the reason why we figured out fire and communication. | ||
| We had to figure out how to not get eaten by shit like that. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| Jesus fucking Christ. | ||
| Now imagine that this is in the same sort of vein, as far as animals go, as that terror bird. | ||
| Except it's considerably smaller. | ||
| Where that terror bird was like seven feet tall. | ||
| And lived in North America. | ||
| Lived in North America while people were alive. | ||
| These things were giant. | ||
| And they were running around. | ||
| Like, look at the photo with the soldier there, Jamie. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Look how big these fucking things were. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Yeah, what the fuck? | ||
| These things lived while people were alive, right? | ||
| Like, when did these terror birds exist? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Fuck that thing. | ||
| Just fuck that thing. | ||
| That shit is crazy looking. | ||
| It's nine feet tall. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a nine foot tall giant fucking bird, man. | |
| When did the thing live? | ||
| 1.5 million years ago? | ||
| Is that what it says? | ||
| That's not that long. | ||
| What's it say, Jamie? | ||
| 15 or 1.5? | ||
| 2.5 million years ago. | ||
| 2.5 million years ago. | ||
| Alright, so that's definitely not people. | ||
| Someone was there. | ||
| Someone was there. | ||
| Some silly monkeys. | ||
| Something was there. | ||
| But what year do you think monkeys started figuring out how to start using weapons and shit? | ||
| Like, what year was it that they figured out, like, the very first subhuman hominid that was smart as fuck that was figuring out how to, like, make a weapon? | ||
| It would have to have been them picking up some sort of branch or some sort of rock and throwing it. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| That's the first thought of using a weapon, no? | ||
| Rock. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I would wonder if it would be that or a stick. | ||
| Like, to beat something with a stick or to throw a rock. | ||
| Like, which would be the first one they figured out. | ||
| But what year do you think... | ||
| I mean, I wonder how long it was ago that our ancestors first started developing a weapon. | ||
| Like something to either kill, something to eat, or something to defend themselves. | ||
| I'm looking a little farther. | ||
| There's some reports from Uruguay saying that these might be dated to 450,000 or 17,000 years ago. | ||
| 17,000 years ago. | ||
| Those claims are being debated. | ||
| That's what I had heard. | ||
| It's more in the realm. | ||
| I think I had heard it was like 35,000 years ago, they think, that some of them were living in North America. | ||
| This art was written in Spanish or something. | ||
| I can't get through that. | ||
| It was all pre-Ice Age, either way, because the Ice Age was 10,000 years ago. | ||
| This whole motherfucker was just frozen solid. | ||
| That's hard to imagine. | ||
| Listen, I question everything. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck is going on. | ||
| Who knows what's happening? | ||
| But I like watching ancient aliens. | ||
| I do too. | ||
| I wish it was real. | ||
| I wish it was all real. | ||
| I wish it was too. | ||
| I hope they're right. | ||
| I hope they're right about a lot of shit. | ||
| It would be so much more fun if aliens had been here and contacted us and left information. | ||
| It would be so much more fun. | ||
| It would be incredible. | ||
| Than... | ||
| And to actually be alive to find that out? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think it's totally possible that something could get way smarter than us and can travel from some other place. | ||
| It's also totally possible that it's never happened yet. | ||
| It's totally possible that people are just full of shit. | ||
| It's also totally possible that our experience on Earth has been broken up a bunch of times by huge disasters. | ||
| And I think that this is one of those things that this guy Graham Hancock is trying to prove and is doing a fantastic job of sort of documenting the way he describes it, that we're a civilization with amnesia. | ||
| It's really interesting stuff, man, because he's saying essentially what probably happened was human beings invented a bunch of really cool shit, developed a bunch of great technology, had made sophisticated societies and cultures, and then BOOM! Boom! | ||
| A fucking rock from the sky comes down. | ||
| Start over. | ||
| Flattens everything. | ||
| Kills a giant chunk of the people. | ||
| Fucks up all the infrastructure. | ||
| Chaos. | ||
| Disorder. | ||
| And then things are fine for another few hundred years. | ||
| And boom! | ||
| A new one hits. | ||
| And they're all throughout Europe. | ||
| They've proven it now that there's this nuclear glass shit all throughout Europe and in Asia as well. | ||
| The vitrification. | ||
| And it's all around 10,000 years ago. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| It's unexplainable, right? | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| They think that that's what happened, that 10,000 to 12,000 years ago, all of Europe was pelted with rocks. | ||
| It's fucking nuts and that people had to start over after that and that all of our stories about Cataclysms and you know the Noah and the ark and all that shit about keeping keeping societies alive Whether it's like the epic of Gilgamesh all these different stories that are real similar real similar tale of someone like trying to keep humanity alive in the face of this chaotic Disaster all of those represent the same stories all those represents the things that ended the fucking ice age and Rocks from the | ||
| sky 10,000 years ago, Jamie. | ||
| Heavy shit. | ||
| Too heavy for me! | ||
| You got me too high, you fuck. | ||
| There's fucking three joints left, bro. | ||
| Actually, there's four. | ||
| Oh, we can't. | ||
| We can't keep going. | ||
| We'll forget what we already talked about. | ||
| We'll repeat ourselves. | ||
| We are a society with amnesia. | ||
| Oh, definitely wouldn't be smoking this kind of weed. | ||
| You get all kinds of amnesia. | ||
| This is fire, too. | ||
| Just know that about that. | ||
| So when you're going on these trips, do you base these trips on places you want to eat? | ||
| Do you base these trips on you're already touring there and you say, well, fuck it, let's combine the two together? | ||
| Yep, pretty much. | ||
| I get to go to cool places for music. | ||
| I get to go to a lot of amazing countries. | ||
| I've been to Africa. | ||
| I've been pretty much all over. | ||
| Not Asia yet, all over Europe. | ||
| All over America. | ||
| And pretty much people want to take me out to these restaurants because they know I appreciate it. | ||
| They know what I'm about. | ||
| Through my lyrics and through seeing me and getting to know me on that type of level where you almost feel like you know me, people feel like they need to show me the right way in their city. | ||
| I have to be taken care of. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And it's only right. | ||
| I like to be taken care of. | ||
| And, you know, I have an incredible team over at Vice and Munchies and Viceland that, you know, they get the job done. | ||
| They work. | ||
| Well, once you start doing a show like this, then people start hearing about it, then, you know, you get all the people that are contacting you with great suggestions, and it sort of makes itself, like, you figure a chart just based on all these people trying to get you to go to their spots, right? | ||
| Yeah, well, you know, a lot of it is organic, though. | ||
| People are genuinely fans of the music and genuinely fans of the show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| A lot of the times, they don't want to ask to be on it. | ||
| I see people throwing the little hints. | ||
| Come by. | ||
| Bring the guys. | ||
| Is this something you planned out, or is this just something that sort of came along and just seemed like a natural thing to do? | ||
| Yeah, it just came along. | ||
| I was getting filmed in the kitchen cooking, and it was kind of cool. | ||
| I always... | ||
| Growing up watching these shows, these dudes being rock stars now, I was like, why can't I do that? | ||
| Look at fucking Guy Fieri. | ||
| Guy Fieri? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That guy? | ||
| My bad. | ||
| Guy Fieri. | ||
| I said it with the intensive Fieri. | ||
| Is that how you're supposed to say it? | ||
| It's alright. | ||
| It's a little accent. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| There he is. | ||
| Look at this guy. | ||
| What else is he gonna do besides what he does? | ||
| He could be in Nickelback. | ||
| He could be in Nickelback. | ||
| He could be in... | ||
| What was the one? | ||
| I'm an All-Star. | ||
| He could rock that. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Smash Mouth. | ||
| He looks like the lead singer of Smash Mouth. | ||
| Oh, hey now. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, he's got his... | ||
| He figured out his own spot. | ||
| Can you just scroll up for a second? | ||
| Go to the one with the flames on his shirt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| To the right. | ||
| Oh, so ridiculous. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He actually, they were like, get crazy while he was taking these pictures, and he did that, and that's forever etched in time. | ||
| It's just hilarious that he's got such a crafted thing going on. | ||
| He's a rock star. | ||
| Rock star. | ||
| Cook guy. | ||
| Let me ask you something. | ||
| Do you think... | ||
| Seems like a nice guy. | ||
| No, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| Do you think that this is a shtick? | ||
| Yeah, he's smart. | ||
| He decided to make himself... | ||
| Look, you look at a guy like Donald Trump. | ||
| Everybody knows that he has this crazy hair. | ||
| You don't think that Donald Trump could get a better haircut? | ||
| Oh yeah, he plays into it for sure. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| It's part of his flair is that he's pulling it off with this goofy haircut. | ||
| He's got billions of dollars and he's got this hair helmet that he's got on. | ||
| Same with Don King. | ||
| It's a legendary hair helmet. | ||
| Don King, man. | ||
| A lot of guys did that. | ||
| They had sort of a wacky look on purpose, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| I thought of this yesterday. | ||
| Is there any chance Donald Trump's trolling in some sort of performance piece for like a movie? | ||
| I think Donald Trump is a guy who has full belief in his ability to run this country. | ||
| Whether or not he can actually run the country, I don't think it's an act. | ||
| I think he has full belief that he can do it. | ||
| It is bizarre to see because it's freaking people out. | ||
| I think one of the more fascinating things about this election is how people are so freaked out that he's pretty much in command right now. | ||
| There's thoughts, there's like panic that he could, that there's a possibility he could be the president. | ||
| Oh, it's very likely. | ||
| You think that it's very likely? | ||
| I think if things keep going the way they're going right now, It looks to me like he's gonna be the president. | ||
| Are the others putting their fucking foots in their mouth? | ||
| What is the issue? | ||
| Why is he shining? | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| Is it the internet age? | ||
| Is it the social media age that's making this guy into this figure almost like the Jordan face? | ||
| The Jordan face. | ||
| The meme? | ||
| It's like an iconic thing. | ||
| Do you know about the... | ||
| Pull up the Jordan face. | ||
| Donald Trump is becoming the fucking Jordan face, man. | ||
| The crying Jordan. | ||
| Well, here's the thing. | ||
| When people look for someone to be president, whether it's rational or not, they look towards someone who they think is going to be a leader. | ||
| Oh, the crying Jordan face? | ||
| Yeah, that's like the... | ||
| Oh. | ||
| They put it on everybody. | ||
| If you fuck up, you get the crying Jordan face. | ||
| People look towards someone that they want to be a leader, and the problem with Donald Trump He said a bunch of ridiculous stuff about, like, Mexicans and some stuff that, like, not measured stuff about Muslims coming into this country. | ||
| Not measured and rational and, you know, it was way too show-busy, you know? | ||
| If you fuck with the Mexicans, they will shut the country down. | ||
| Restaurants will be closed. | ||
| It'll be over. | ||
| Things will be done. | ||
| Yeah, very likely. | ||
| Plus, they're nice. | ||
| We're not having a lot of problems with Mexicans. | ||
| This idea that Mexicans are causing all these problems, if they were really causing that many problems, we would have a lot more problems, because there's a lot of Mexicans. | ||
| All they ever do, they just want to come over to the country so they can make money to send home to their family. | ||
| I worked with guys that literally slept in shithole rooms just so they could send their salary at $300, $400 from washing dishes all fucking week back home for their family. | ||
| And these are the people that you want to keep out of the country? | ||
| Like, the honest working man riding his bike back and forth to work every day in the fucking snow, the rain, whatever, you know? | ||
| It's upsetting. | ||
| I work close with these guys, you know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah, we're in kitchens, right? | ||
| In kitchens, yeah. | ||
| A lot of Mexican guys want to be in chefs. | ||
| And incredible ones, too. | ||
| And no, you could teach them any cuisine. | ||
| It's just unfortunate that... | ||
| He would say things like that and that people would respond the way they've responded. | ||
| You know, people got kind of excited that someone is finally going to close the wall, you know, close the borders and put up a wall. | ||
| They all come out when, you know, the freaks come out at night. | ||
| Well, it's just there's bad people in every group, in every group. | ||
| And the idea that... | ||
| These people, because they're more poor and because they got stuck in this one spot, they should be trapped there forever, even though it's connected to us by dirt. | ||
| I mean, there's like a clear path between us and Mexico. | ||
| It's right there. | ||
| And we have to stop people from walking across to get jobs. | ||
| Can you imagine if Americans, if you made them walk across the desert to get jobs? | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| How few of us would be employed if you had to walk across, you had to get in the river, you had to fucking wade across the river, you had to get to the other side holding your baby over the rapids. | ||
| And then once you get to the other side, you gotta climb a wall, and then you gotta walk across the desert, and then you gotta find a job. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| What, you don't have a job for me when I get there? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| You better know somebody, too, because, you know, you can't speak their language. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm gonna live somewhere where they don't speak my language. | ||
| Do you want money or not? | ||
| Okay, I'll do it. | ||
| No one's gonna do it. | ||
| No American do it. | ||
| You know? | ||
| These fucking kids coming out of college today. | ||
| There's no jobs. | ||
| This younger generation's fucked. | ||
| The wall just got ten feet higher. | ||
| Is this his new statement? | ||
| From a couple days ago, after he won something. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| He's hilarious. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| So, the president of Mexico yesterday, or the ex-president, or whatever, whoever, who cares, He said, we will not even consider paying for the wall. | ||
| You have to understand. | ||
| Because, okay, you ready? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who's gonna pay for the wall? | |
| Who? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| A hundred percent. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A hundred percent. | |
| So I get a call from one of the reporters yesterday, and they said, the president of Mexico said they will not, under any circumstances, pay for the wall. | ||
| They said to me, what is your comment? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I said, the wall just got ten feet higher. | |
| It's true. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| He fucked it up with the, it's true, it's true. | ||
| He should have laid back on that. | ||
| He had a strong delivery. | ||
| He had a strong delivery. | ||
| He just panicked while he was getting the cheers. | ||
| He got hyped. | ||
| That's how you can tell he's not primed for the spot. | ||
| What the fuck is going on, man? | ||
| He got too hyped right there when he heard the claps. | ||
| That is crazy that a guy can say something like that. | ||
| That is so not measured. | ||
| Did you see that please clap moment with Jeb Bush? | ||
| No. | ||
| And it pretty much just like ruined him and he's now out of the race? | ||
| No. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| I'll show it to you. | ||
| He's given a speech somewhere and he gets this real riled up moment and he's waiting for an applause break and it doesn't come. | ||
| So he literally says to the crowd, please clap. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Oh, the poor bastard. | ||
| Goodness gracious. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| He's probably so happy to be out of this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We'll have the back of the military. | |
| I won't trash talk. | ||
| I won't be a divider in chief or an agitator in chief. | ||
| I won't be out there blowharding, talking a big game without backing it up. | ||
| I think the next president needs to be a lot quieter, but send a signal that we're prepared to act in the national security interests of this country to get back in the business of creating a more peaceful world. | ||
| Please clap. | ||
| I thought that was humorous. | ||
| I actually thought that was humorous. | ||
| That wasn't terrible. | ||
| I thought that was humorous. | ||
| The way he did that, I thought it was awkward. | ||
| I saw an older guy in a yarmulke. | ||
| I saw a bunch of really old people there. | ||
| Maybe they just didn't catch it at that time. | ||
| I thought he was being funny. | ||
| I would think that would be a good way to end it. | ||
| You say, please clap. | ||
| But maybe I'm just optimistic. | ||
| He's definitely not the guy. | ||
| You can't talk like that and be the guy. | ||
| You better be focused as fuck. | ||
| I think he probably saw what happened to his brother, saw what happened to his dad, and he was like, fuck this job. | ||
| Trying to be different. | ||
| No, I think they're trying to push him into a job he doesn't really want. | ||
| I don't think he really wanted to be president. | ||
| It just didn't seem like it to me. | ||
| He wants to be a carpenter. | ||
| Like, Bernie Sanders seems to want to be president. | ||
| I believe it. | ||
| I'm convinced Hillary Clinton wants to be president. | ||
| I'm convinced Trump wants to be president. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| How about that Rubio guy? | ||
| Does he want to be president? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Chris Christie didn't want to be president. | ||
| No way. | ||
| No fucking way. | ||
| He's a fucking scumbag. | ||
| Is he? | ||
| How dare you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is he? | |
| I'm not really sure. | ||
| This is what I hear. | ||
| I don't really know politics. | ||
| This is what I hear. | ||
| Yeah, that's all you need to know. | ||
| The judge has spoken. | ||
| Yeah, I just don't know. | ||
| I don't know what's gonna happen in this country if that guy wins. | ||
| It's gonna be very weird. | ||
| If that guy wins, like someone who could say shit like that wins? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Who knows, man? | ||
| What would happen if he got into office and then immediately gave like a calm, sober presentation and explained that he did what he had to do to win, but he's absolutely serious about being the president. | ||
| I wonder if that's possible. | ||
| America's pretty liberal, I feel like. | ||
| Give him a shot. | ||
| Yeah, but the wall just got 10 foot higher. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| What is this, an episode of a movie? | ||
| It's an episode of a movie. | ||
| He's a sick fuck. | ||
| That's what he is. | ||
| He's a sick fuck. | ||
| Do you think he's sick? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Like how so? | ||
| 100% he has one of the littlest dicks in the world. | ||
| There's no doubt about that. | ||
| I can't believe what I'm hearing on this program. | ||
| You can just tell how he's talking. | ||
| First of all, say allegedly. | ||
| Allegedly, he has one of the tiniest penis. | ||
| He has a micro penis. | ||
| I don't think that's the case. | ||
| I bet he's got a giant hog. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| I bet it's shocking. | ||
| That's why he's so confident. | ||
| I bet he pulls it out. | ||
| Well, he bought it then. | ||
| What the fuck are you showing me? | ||
| Then he bought it. | ||
| There's no doubt. | ||
| Realistic nude painting of Donald Trump will make you gouge your eyes out. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I don't know what you're putting up there, Jamie. | ||
| It came up. | ||
| I thought that's where he got it from. | ||
| Nah, just by his actions, by the way you, you know, he definitely has micropenis syndrome. | ||
| I bet he's got a giant hog. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's too cocky. | |
| But that's the thing. | ||
| If he has one, he fucking bought it. | ||
| And it's one of those where you have to fucking pump your nut. | ||
| You know, you... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like a turkey baster. | |
| You fucking pump your dick up. | ||
| All the Mexican actors got it from the soap operas. | ||
| All of them? | ||
| That's what I heard. | ||
| I was looking into this for when I get older. | ||
| That was what Liberace had. | ||
| The mechanical cock? | ||
| Yeah, he had a mechanical pump. | ||
| It's like the Reebok pump. | ||
| It was in the movie. | ||
| Did you ever see that movie, the HBO movie? | ||
| Who was he? | ||
| It was like with Zamo? | ||
| No, it was Michael Douglas and Matt Damon. | ||
| It was called something The Candle Opera Beyond The Candle Opera, is that what it was? | ||
| It was fucking amazing. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Liberace was a freak. | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| First of all, Michael Douglas can act his ass off, man. | ||
| Yeah, he's a good... | ||
| Falling Down? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| One of my favorites. | ||
| But this one, for whatever reason, I think they made it for HBO. Or maybe they just sold it to HBO after they made it. | ||
| They might have financed it themselves. | ||
| I don't know what happened, but it was incredible. | ||
| Behind the Candelabra. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| It's so good, man. | ||
| That looks incredible. | ||
| So fucking good. | ||
| And Matt Damon was his boyfriend, and it's just like, holy shit. | ||
| I'm gonna have to watch this for sure. | ||
| Dude, he was a freak. | ||
| It's fucking great. | ||
| He made his boyfriend get surgery to look more like him. | ||
| How about... | ||
| Wow. | ||
| His boyfriend was like this handsome guy, and he made his boyfriend fuck his chin up to be more like Liberace's chin. | ||
| How'd him get his chin done, dude? | ||
| That's fucking sick. | ||
| That's love. | ||
| Hit more. | ||
| No, no, I'm good. | ||
| Keep coughing. | ||
| You're in a constant state of marijuana. | ||
| I enjoy it. | ||
| Pretty much all day. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Do you take days off? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How many? | ||
| A year? | ||
| Not many. | ||
| Five a year? | ||
| No. | ||
| I can't really count. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Less? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| One a year? | ||
| Yeah, maybe. | ||
| Not really sure. | ||
| I think this year I took off, I think maybe two days because I had surgery. | ||
| But then I was right back at it. | ||
| Well, I would think that it'd probably be good for reducing inflammation, calming you down after surgery. | ||
| Yeah, but the coughing is no good when it was stomach, you know? | ||
| So the coughing is... | ||
| Oh, this is when you had hernia? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a super common injury, man. | ||
| This shit happened in Alaska, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| Yeah, it was crazy. | ||
| I was in Alaska doing a performance and... | ||
| I was playing NBA Jam against my boy and he was the Super Sonics and he just fucking dunked on me and I got upset and I felt something in my stomach and from there... | ||
| NBA Jam the video game? | ||
| Yeah, tournament edition. | ||
| You got a hernia playing NBA Jam the video game? | ||
| Can you believe that? | ||
| How fucking crazy. | ||
| You want to talk about ironic? | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| I was the Knicks, he was the Sonics. | ||
| I wasn't happy. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I might be the only one to ever get a hernia from playing a video game. | ||
| I doubt it. | ||
| No? | ||
| Nah. | ||
| Nah, I bet people have died. | ||
| Playing a video game? | ||
| Yeah, I bet they've contorted themselves, slipped, broken their head open on a coffee table and died. | ||
| Oh yeah, for sure. | ||
| Yeah, people have died playing video games. | ||
| Millions ways of dying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, getting a hernia because you're freaking out. | ||
| That's a slight injury in comparison to, I'm sure, some of the shit that people try to avoid things. | ||
| They fall and fall out a window and fall 16 stories to their death. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| I guarantee you shit has happened. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| I've heard about these things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People are ridiculous. | ||
| Shit, man. | ||
| I'm gonna stay away from fucking Windows, man. | ||
| Yeah, don't go near Windows while you're playing video games. | ||
| Don't blow out your hernia. | ||
| No, defs, please. | ||
| If you haven't had a hernia surgery and you're like, oh man, fuck, I don't want to get it operated on, man. | ||
| I'm scared it'll take me out. | ||
| How much does it take you out? | ||
| Takes you out for a couple of months. | ||
| Does it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, you'll never feel, I don't know, I guess, it's not like I could go back and start power lifting right now. | ||
| It's just not going to happen. | ||
| How long has it been since surgery? | ||
| I had it in November. | ||
| So a few months. | ||
| Yeah, I feel good. | ||
| Like, now I feel good. | ||
| So now you're at the point where it feels normal? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| I feel normal now. | ||
| So you would recommend it to someone that also has had a hernia, if they have a hernia? | ||
| Yeah, just chill out. | ||
| Get that surgery? | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| If you have the umbilical one in the stomach. | ||
| Yeah, you hear that, Doug Stanhope? | ||
| Get yourself stitched up, bitch. | ||
| You know, you're always fucking walking around pushing your stomach in, and it's fucking, it's not cute. | ||
| Especially if you have the other one, fucking, your intestines go into your nutsack. | ||
| It looks like you got elephantitis. | ||
| Yeah, my friend Eddie had it, and he used to have to push down on his abdomen when he would talk, like he was talking loud. | ||
| Because he'd pop out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's one of the worst things ever. | ||
| Yeah, if you're in a loud place, a jackhammer's going off, he would literally have to push his hand into his abdomen to keep it compressed and go, dude, let's get the fuck out of here. | ||
| I performed for two or three years already with that... | ||
| Popping out. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I don't know how to fuck it. | ||
| Oh, so you waited a long time before you got it fixed. | ||
| Nah, I got it fixed and then it broke one time. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Now to get it done again, they put a fucking... | ||
| Alright, so say the cut is about... | ||
| I mean, the hole in your stomach is about an inch or whatever. | ||
| They put an inch of mesh over it. | ||
| It's obviously going to fucking burst again. | ||
| You have to cover it with a little bit bigger piece. | ||
| So that's what the Alaskan doctor did. | ||
| Oh, so you had a shitty doctor. | ||
| I had a shitty doctor from Queens. | ||
| I tell this story all the time. | ||
| I'm in the fucking waiting room. | ||
| First, I shit myself because I don't know what they gave me. | ||
| Second of all, I made them clean me. | ||
| Third of all, I'm on the operating room about to get put under... | ||
| Fucking guy goes to the doctor. | ||
| Yo, you know who that is? | ||
| My dick is so shriveled because I'm scared. | ||
| I'm scared that I'm holding the blanket above my stomach. | ||
| Obviously, I'm going to get knocked out. | ||
| So I'm like, ah, fuck. | ||
| I thought that they were going to take pictures of my shriveled dick. | ||
| That was the last thought I had before going under surgery. | ||
| Think about that. | ||
| How rude. | ||
| Blew my mind. | ||
| How rude would that be? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you got to, you know... | ||
| People could definitely do that. | ||
| I'm saying... | ||
| If they were terrible people. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| If they did that, would I have grounds to sue? | ||
| Yeah, definitely. | ||
| For defamation of character? | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| Because I wasn't at my finest. | ||
| No, poor representation of your penis. | ||
| Poor, exactly. | ||
| It was terrible. | ||
| Well, I know that people have... | ||
| There's definitely been people that have gotten in trouble for doing terrible shit to, like, dentists doing terrible shit to their patients when they're under... | ||
| I heard about that from the Jerky Boys years ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He knocked me out! | |
| He pulled my pants down and my mouth all bloody! | ||
| I love that shit. | ||
| The Jerky Boys, people forgot. | ||
| That shaped my life. | ||
| They forgot how funny some of those fucking recordings were. | ||
| Frank Frizzo. | ||
| Sizzle chest. | ||
| Those were funny, man. | ||
| These young kids, if you've never heard of the Jerky Boys, go and listen. | ||
| They would call people up and pretend that things were going on. | ||
| Greg Fitzsimmons did some of those. | ||
| He did some of his own. | ||
| And he did one of them where he called this rental car company with this heavy Boston accent and was telling them the car they rented was on fire. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he's got this, the car's on fire! | |
| It's fucking Sully! | ||
| We went to the fucking gas station! | ||
|
unidentified
|
This asshole didn't bring the fucking gas tank! | |
| So we had pots and pans filled with gasoline in the car. | ||
| People are going, what? | ||
| You had pots and pans filled with gas in the car? | ||
| Listen, the car's on fire. | ||
| You gotta get over here. | ||
| Yeah, prank calls were always good. | ||
| Chinese restaurants, whatever you could call. | ||
| Do you remember Jimmy Kimmel had a television show? | ||
| Crank Yankers? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh yeah. | |
| Remember that? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And it was all prank calls done with like sock puppets. | ||
| I remember it. | ||
| It was funny as fuck. | ||
| Fuck yeah, it was funny. | ||
| You used to be able to do stuff like that in Vegas. | ||
| Nevada had a different rule. | ||
| You could use people's calls for something like that. | ||
| Whereas in California, you'd have to tell them, hey, I'm going to use this. | ||
| I'm going to record this call. | ||
| And then everything after that, you could use. | ||
| Anything before you said that, you couldn't use. | ||
| It would be inadmissible. | ||
| Inadmissible. | ||
| Excuse me, inadmissible. | ||
| Yeah, inadmissible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I know there's a lot, you know, I've been caught out there, like, baby mother trying to start drama with me over the phone, have me on three-way, and I say some crazy shit, and then, like, six of her fucking family members hear it, you know what I mean? | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| That should be inadmissible in life. | ||
| So you want the freedom to say crazy shit? | ||
| I mean, at the end of the day, like, if you provoke me... | ||
| It's funny because there's two ways of looking at it, right? | ||
| It's like you want the freedom to say crazy shit. | ||
| She wants everybody to know how fucking crazy you really are. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| So she wants to have people listen. | ||
| You know how crazy this motherfucker is? | ||
| I'm sick. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Watch. | ||
| You're screaming and yelling. | ||
| And she's like, see, I told you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm an asshole. | ||
| Well, pretty much. | ||
| I'm a fucking asshole. | ||
| Do you want to change? | ||
| Do you want a come to Jesus moment? | ||
| Uh, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No? | |
| You're happy with who you are? | ||
| I'm ecstatic. | ||
| You don't seem like an asshole right now. | ||
| You seem very friendly. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| I appreciate that. | ||
| We're high. | ||
| That helps. | ||
| But I wasn't when we came here and we started playing pool. | ||
| You seem like a very nice guy. | ||
| I was alright. | ||
| You're a nice guy. | ||
| Yeah, I'm decent. | ||
| I'm alright. | ||
| Once you get to know me, you won't like me anymore. | ||
| No. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Nah. | ||
| I'm a good guy. | ||
| No, I think you're a good guy. | ||
| I am. | ||
| How high are you right now? | ||
| I'm not that high. | ||
| All the way? | ||
| Nah, you know I'm high, but I'm normal. | ||
| I'm level. | ||
| I feel like we're getting trapped with the first few words of the sentences we're saying, and then we're committed to these sentences, and we don't know exactly what we were going to say when we started talking, so we're making it up as we go along. | ||
| That high. | ||
| That's how high we are right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit. | |
| It's all this about good guy, bad guy shit. | ||
| You don't even know what you're talking about. | ||
| Neither do I. I have no clue. | ||
| I have no idea what's going on. | ||
| So don't commit us to any of these quotes, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| That's my point. | ||
| Leave Action alone. | ||
| He's not a bad guy. | ||
| I'm a great guy. | ||
| Good pool player too, man. | ||
| You know how to play some pool. | ||
| I'm alright. | ||
| You got a good grip on the cue. | ||
| I'm decent. | ||
| I used to be better. | ||
| I could tell. | ||
| I could tell. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You definitely have a more than casual understanding of how to play. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| I was taught. | ||
| I was taught. | ||
| I spent some time in pool halls in Queens, you know? | ||
| Stood on the wall. | ||
| Those places are important. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| They're dying out. | ||
| Star billiard. | ||
| Fucking millennium billiards on Frannie Lou Boulevard with the Asians, with the fucking polo shirt, with the collar popped. | ||
| Asians with the collar popped. | ||
| Straight up. | ||
| Light blue. | ||
| Light blue motherfuckers having drag races on the strip in the Mustangs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Civics? | ||
| Acuras? | ||
| At Chelsea Billiards in New York, there was always a lot of really strong Asian players that gambled a lot. | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| And they would go in there talking mad shit. | ||
| There was a bunch of these dudes who were really colorful guys in the pool community that were these Asian cats. | ||
| Koreans. | ||
| One guy was Chinese. | ||
| This one Korean dude, though, gambled like crazy. | ||
| And he'd come in talking mad shit. | ||
| And he was just like that. | ||
| Polo shirt on. | ||
| Looking preppy. | ||
| Going right into the heart of the jungle in the pool culture, which was Chelsea Billiards. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| It's crazy, man. | ||
| It's a funny culture. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Asians in general, I feel like they're good at precision games. | ||
| Definitely good at pool. | ||
| Some of the best players in the world are Asian. | ||
| That girl, the Black Widow? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| She's incredible. | ||
| There's a bunch of guys. | ||
| Colby Min. | ||
| I think he's from Taiwan. | ||
| A bunch of guys from Taiwan that are really good. | ||
| A lot of Asians, especially Filipinos. | ||
| Filipinos, that's pretty much the number one country, other than the United States, of the greatest pool players ever. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, for one spot, it's tough to fuck with the Philippines. | ||
| They have some of the all-time greatest. | ||
| It's a bunch of islands. | ||
| I think it's like a thousand islands, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Isn't it crazy? | ||
| But a gang of them come from the Philippines. | ||
| The US GIs apparently dropped pool off over there when they were in World War II. They brought pool tables over to entertain the GIs. | ||
| And that's apparently how Filipinos got involved in pool. | ||
| That's allegedly the story. | ||
| The pool community says. | ||
| Well, in Vietnam, it seems like the G.I.s brought funk music to fucking Vietnam and Thailand and all those, like wherever they were. | ||
| Because there's some funky motherfucking music that comes from the 70s and in the Vietnamese, like this Vietnamese soul music that just sounds like Motherfuckers from Harlem are playing, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Incredible stuff. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And it's in their language? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Which is even crazier because it sounds amazing. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Give me a name or something. | ||
| Just look up Vietnamese or Thai pop or Vietnamese funk. | ||
| There's this one specific album. | ||
| I think it's called Saigon Rock. | ||
| It's pretty next level. | ||
| There's a picture of a woman on it. | ||
| On the cover. | ||
| I'm gonna find that. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Bam, Jamie. | ||
| On the ball. | ||
| Saigon Rock. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Hit me with some of this. | ||
| Hit me with some of this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
| 1968 to 1974. You know what I mean? | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Wow. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That shit sounds crazy. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I was listening to this... | ||
| I don't speak Spanish. | ||
| Obviously, I don't speak Vietnamese either, so when I'm listening to that, it gives you a little extra kind of cool charge to it, because you don't even know what the fuck they're saying. | ||
| And you're trying to mimic it. | ||
| Just making noises that sound like it. | ||
| What is Joey Diaz's band, Jamie? | ||
| Joey Diaz's nephew's band? | ||
| Or his cousin's band? | ||
| I've got them on my music here somewhere. | ||
| I'm trying to find it, though. | ||
| They're a band out of Cuba. | ||
| Joey's family's out of Cuba. | ||
| X Alfonso? | ||
| M.A. Alfonso? | ||
| I think it's X, though, no? | ||
| Buena Vista Social Club? | ||
| No, that's one of them. | ||
| But the band that they're in is X Alfonso. | ||
| This is from his Twitter. | ||
| That's where I got that from. | ||
| Oh, that's his cousin. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The band... | ||
| This I haven't seen, but there's a band that I was listening to. | ||
| It's called X Alfonso. | ||
| They are fucking badass, dude. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| They're bad, and I don't know what they're saying. | ||
| It's really cool because when you're listening to it, these are... | ||
| So I guess Joey's cousin's Emmy. | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| In the bottom here, he comments, and he says, All I know is X Alfonso. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Someone asked him what the name of his cousin's rock band was. | ||
| He said, all I know is X Alfonso. | ||
| This was a couple years ago, too. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So I guess that's his cousin. | ||
| But whatever, man. | ||
| They're fucking badass. | ||
| They're cool, too, because I like listening to stuff like this when I write, because I don't know what the fuck they're saying. | ||
| It's just cool. | ||
| I don't have to follow their narrative. | ||
| I can just enjoy it. | ||
| I can just enjoy the sound of it. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I agree. I agree. I agree. | |
| This is more of a traditional song. | ||
| They have some crazy wild rock and roll shit. | ||
| See if you can find... | ||
| I don't want to give people the wrong impression on what kind of music they have. | ||
| I fucking speak Spanish. | ||
| I understand what they sing. | ||
| See if you can find Reverse. | ||
| This is a really cool video too. | ||
| The video is really amazingly shot. | ||
| bright graphics so what they're doing is they're playing this song forward and backward Did you fast forward it to like deep into the song? | ||
| Yeah, interesting shit. | ||
| So this is Joey Diaz's cousins. | ||
| So I guess there's fucking talent in them jeans. | ||
| Have you been to Cuba yet? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Are you going to go? | ||
| I would like to. | ||
| I want to go there before it becomes a tourist trap. | ||
| Yeah, as soon as 4G LTE gets there, it's over. | ||
| Ah, it's over. | ||
| I don't want to be able to use my phone. | ||
| Well, you can use it now in some spots, apparently. | ||
| Apparently there's like some spots where you can go where you could use your phone. | ||
| It's fucking whack. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| But I want them to have phones. | ||
| I'm torn. | ||
| I think they should be able to have phones. | ||
| And the other way our phones won't work is if their phones don't work. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Yeah, they should have phones, for sure. | ||
| Now that you bring it to my attention in that manner, they should definitely have phones. | ||
| But there seem to be... | ||
| They put together a pretty amazing culture without it. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| It's legendary. | ||
| It's classic. | ||
| Look at the... | ||
| The architecture and all those colors and old cars. | ||
| Yeah, the old cars. | ||
| Just the music. | ||
| If you watch that Buena Vista Social Club stuff and that documentary, it's really mind-blowing. | ||
| It's actually very beautiful. | ||
| The music that they make is unreal. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Unbelievable. | ||
| The way it's shot is magical. | ||
| Yeah, they definitely have a sound and a style of their own. | ||
| And to think that all that was taking place over the last 50 or so years... | ||
| Just 90 miles away from us. | ||
| We had no idea. | ||
| And on top of that, we weren't even allowed to visit. | ||
| For 50 years, we were kept from going to a spot. | ||
| And with no reason that makes any sense. | ||
| We were kept from going. | ||
| You could get in trouble, man. | ||
| Like in the 1980s, if you travel to Cuba, you could get in fucking trouble. | ||
| The big daddy government told you where you could visit. | ||
| Think about that. | ||
| You could go to Africa. | ||
| You could go to the Congo. | ||
| They wouldn't give you a hard time. | ||
| But if you go to Cuba, they could lock you up. | ||
| Just for visiting. | ||
| I want to see what it's like over there. | ||
| I want to see some people. | ||
| Not allowed. | ||
| That's the most ridiculous thing ever. | ||
| It's sick. | ||
| There's no reason. | ||
| It's not for your own safety, because there's some super dangerous spots you could go visit right now. | ||
| No one's going to stop you from flying to Iraq. | ||
| Nicaragua. | ||
| No one's going to stop you from flying to a lot of places in this world that are in a terrible state. | ||
| Of civil unrest. | ||
| You can just go. | ||
| You can go. | ||
| Or Cuba, no. | ||
| Yeah, can't go to Cuba. | ||
| But we can now. | ||
| It was Russia's fault. | ||
| Fucking Russia. | ||
| I like Russia. | ||
| I was there last year. | ||
| They went hard at us. | ||
| They gave it a shot. | ||
| It was really gray, to tell you the truth. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| It was a fucking very gray place, but... | ||
| Gray like the weather you mean? | ||
| Like the color. | ||
| The weather, like the way it looked outside? | ||
| Yeah, like not nice. | ||
| Like no sunshine? | ||
| Nah. | ||
| It was sunny out and it was definitely not sunshine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh really? | |
| It was a hard place. | ||
| You could tell there was hard times. | ||
| They braided some hard fucking people. | ||
| Some fucking jaws, man. | ||
| Their jaws are fucking defined. | ||
| Some of the scariest MMA fighters ever. | ||
| Fedor. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And out of Dagestan. | ||
| Dagestan's another place where just developing these killers. | ||
| This kid, he's fighting the UFC. Kid, man. | ||
| Man, gentleman. | ||
| Habib Nurmagomedov. | ||
| He's an animal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Monster. | |
| Monster. | ||
| Animal. | ||
| Ridiculously good grappler. | ||
| Just destroyer. | ||
| So fucking, so good. | ||
| Think about it. | ||
| They're all fucking old men over there just fucking wrestling all day long in the barn. | ||
| And the fucking wet and the cold. | ||
| So all told with this show, do you have a deal to do it for a certain amount of time? | ||
| Or are you just doing it for as long as you enjoy it? | ||
| Right now, it feels like it could be going on for a long time if it hits. | ||
| I feel like it's gonna. | ||
| People are gonna enjoy it. | ||
| It's entertainment, you know? | ||
| It's entertaining shit. | ||
| It's a different view. | ||
| If it's nearly as good as your Instagram page with the photos of it... | ||
| It's pretty good. | ||
| That's light. | ||
| The Instagram page is light work. | ||
| What was this steak that you ate that you had on your Instagram that, like, aged for seven months? | ||
| That was at my man Mario Batali's Steakhouse in Vegas where you need to go because you're there a lot. | ||
| Seven months? | ||
| Seven months. | ||
| Right in the Venetian. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Carne vino. | ||
| How do you do that? | ||
| How do you age something for seven months? | ||
| You just leave it there. | ||
| You just leave that shit there and it becomes blue. | ||
| Oh, look at that. | ||
| That was a good picture. | ||
| Chris Grosso, my producer, took that picture, man. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| So that's ribeye that was 70-day aged. | ||
| And, like, what's the temperature when they age? | ||
| No, that's seven months. | ||
| Excuse me. | ||
| Seven months, not 70 days. | ||
| That's a premature child. | ||
| I don't want to believe it. | ||
| I don't want to believe it. | ||
| Seven months? | ||
| What's the temperature they put it at? | ||
| They fucking grill it very, very hot. | ||
| No, I mean to keep it to age it. | ||
| Oh, the aging. | ||
| I think that it was... | ||
| They wouldn't tell you exactly, but I would imagine it's in between... | ||
| In the 40s. | ||
| Really? | ||
| 30 to 40. How does it not turn into just rot? | ||
| Because there's so much fat cap on it that the fat protects it and the meat just rots inside and... | ||
| All that fatty tissue breaks down and just becomes nutty and unbelievably fucking delicious, you know, and deep and incredible depth of flavor and developing all this earthiness and this umami flavor you can't really explain. | ||
| But when you eat it, it just melts and it's like what the fuck is going on? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Seven months of rot to me. | ||
| It's like that if that wasn't real and we found out that the Romans used to do that. | ||
| Oh they did. | ||
| We would be like, of course. | ||
| But not with refrigeration. | ||
| If we just found out that they used to do it, we'd be like, what in the fuck are these assholes doing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| They would let the meat rot away for seven months so that they could slice a sliver off the inside. | ||
| And present it. | ||
| And present that. | ||
| I mean how much meat goes to waste? | ||
| A lot. | ||
| There's a lot of waste in that. | ||
| Like what percentage you think? | ||
| Maybe 30 to 40 percent of the product because the bone is huge and then the meat is just, the meat is like this. | ||
| That's how much, it's about five inches long and paws and three inches wide. | ||
| Out of the whole cow? | ||
| You know, that's the ribeye. | ||
| That's that rib. | ||
| It has the big ass bone. | ||
| It has that thick ass fat they have to cut off. | ||
| So they must lose a substantial amount of meat. | ||
| Oh, that shit is like a fucking... | ||
| It's $200 an inch. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So that's like the worst eco-friendly meat. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| But it's sublime. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Sublime tasting. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| It's bizarre how far people will go out of their way to try to, like, rig the perfect steak to something like this, where you're letting some meat sit for seven months. | ||
| That means they had to take it up to, like, a year, and then they go, like, back off. | ||
| We can't eat this shit. | ||
| No, there's 12 months. | ||
| No, there's not! | ||
| There is 12 months, man. | ||
| No! | ||
| How big is it? | ||
| They serve it to you. | ||
| It's like a fingernail. | ||
| Yeah, it's about the same thing. | ||
| It's a little bit smaller than that, but... | ||
| It's the last remaining cells that haven't turned to total shit. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Bacteria. | ||
| The fucking new AIDS runs rampant through your cooler. | ||
| And that is the most delicious bite of food on the planet, apparently. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| According to these motherfuckers, and I just had that, the seven month is mmm, ooh, ah, like you can't believe. | ||
| And so there's a big difference between the seven month and five months later? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Are you fucking kidding me? | ||
| How much better is the one that's a year? | ||
| You need to try it. | ||
| I haven't tried that one yet, but I feel that it's going to be very, you can't have too much. | ||
| Is it the size of like a flip phone? | ||
| Intense. | ||
| That's a good piece. | ||
| The smaller one. | ||
| Oh, a smaller iPhone? | ||
| But like I said, they're gonna give you like a quarter inch or a half inch piece because it's too OD. It's like eating a whole thing of blue cheese in one bite. | ||
| Oh, as far as like the amount of bacteria? | ||
| No, no, I'm saying like the taste. | ||
| Yes, I do. | ||
| I love blue cheese. | ||
| It almost tastes like you're eating silver. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That's because it's fucking fungus. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| I love that shit. | ||
| I love funky shit. | ||
| Cheese. | ||
| We were in Paris eating two-year-old, three-year-old, eight-year-old cheeses. | ||
| Cheese that's been buried in shit, hay, all kinds of craziness. | ||
| Yeah, the Paris folk have really figured out a way to make that stuff stink. | ||
| It stinks. | ||
| They love that stuff. | ||
| That was one of the main ingredients we used to use on Fear Factor to make things smell worse. | ||
| Cheese? | ||
| Expensive cheese. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, they would go to a place in Beverly Hills where they have a... | ||
| Just a giant selection of the grossest, rankest, fucking funkiest cheeses where you open the cart and you're like, jeez, what the fuck? | ||
| And it's super expensive. | ||
| And that stuff, I don't remember what it was called, they would throw that stuff into blenders to make bugs smell worse. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mmm. | |
| No wonder they fucking threw up all the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, ugh! | |
| Why are you looking and just start throwing up? | ||
| Yeah, the bugs itself was not nearly as bad as bugs blended in with cheese. | ||
| Ugh. | ||
| That funky-ass cheese. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| The smell was just... | ||
| Especially if you didn't know what you were doing. | ||
| Like, if you smell certain cheeses, if you didn't know what you were eating, you'd be like, what the fuck? | ||
| Get this out of here. | ||
| But because you know it has a pleasant taste to it, you know it's cheese... | ||
| Your brain goes, yeah, oh, this smells funky. | ||
| Like, you'll smell some really weird cheese. | ||
| He's like, oh, wow, yeah, woo. | ||
| But then you eat it, like, whoa. | ||
| Oh, you feel the interesting flavors in your mouth. | ||
| So you associate it with a good thing, even though it smells funky. | ||
| There's a lot of cheese that literally smell like six-day-old nut sack, you know? | ||
| But like fat nut sack, like when you're overweight, like mine. | ||
| And it's not pleasant. | ||
| But once you get down to it... | ||
| The taste is very sweet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The taste is different. | |
| As is my nutsack, apparently. | ||
| How dare you. | ||
| Listen, I gotta get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Let's get out of here. | ||
| Let's go eat something. | ||
| I can't. | ||
| I have plans. | ||
| You're going into fucking ketosis. | ||
| Family stuff I have to do. | ||
| No, wait. | ||
| What are you going into? | ||
| You're going into the other one. | ||
| What's the other one you don't want to go into? | ||
| Oh, I don't know what the other one is. | ||
| The one you don't want to go into. | ||
| Whatever the one, the Carbo one. | ||
| Psychosis. | ||
| Action Bronson, thank you very much, sir. | ||
| Thank you, bro. | ||
| You're the shit. | ||
| It was a lot of fun. | ||
| It was cool hanging with you. | ||
| You're a very funny guy. | ||
| Good times. | ||
| And your show, if people want to watch it, how can they catch it? | ||
| Fuck That's Delicious. | ||
| It's all over the internet right now. | ||
| Go to YouTube, type in Fuck That's Delicious. | ||
| Type in my name, Action Bronson. | ||
| Google me. | ||
| February 29th, Viceland launches. | ||
| We're taking over History 2 channel. | ||
| So, we're going to be all over the place. | ||
| March 3rd, Thursdays, 10 o'clock. | ||
| Fuck That's Delicious on cable. | ||
| Every network possible. | ||
| You understand me? | ||
| I understand you. | ||
| Thank you, sir. | ||
| Appreciate it. | ||
| Thank you, brother. | ||
| Good night tomorrow. | ||
| Duncan Trussell tomorrow. |
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