Joe Rogan and Brian Redban dive into O.J. Simpson’s trial, comparing its cultural impact to modern cases like JonBenét Ramsey, where DNA evidence might now solve mysteries but past contamination risks remain. They explore bizarre urban phenomena—rats hunted by dogs in NYC, Suicide Bridge cleanup nightmares, and Mexico’s Dinner in the Sky restaurant—before debating Bill Cosby’s defense strategy, possibly hinging on double jeopardy. The conversation shifts to Adderall culture, parkour’s MMA potential, and Hollywood’s lost nostalgia, culminating in a critique of Netflix’s unlimited vacation policy and the rise of drug-smuggling drones in Colombia, where Escobar’s shadow still looms over crime evolution. [Automatically generated summary]
On a torn ACL. I think if he did, it wasn't for very long.
I think he just went ahead and got it fixed real quick.
And then, you know, because if you get your ACL fixed and they give you like these pretty lightweight carbon fiber braces, you could walk around in it like okay.
Like it's not cool, like it's not, you don't want to go long distances, but they can kind of brace you up pretty good with a minimal brace post-surgery.
And I constantly think about it too because it's it always happens when I'm just like doing something mild like I'll turn to the side But I'll pivot on it or something that just pops out you probably have at the very least like something wrong with your meniscus it could be like I used to have this thing called a bucket handle tear and What it would be is you know like a bucket handle like flip over?
You know one way or the other well it gets stuck and Like flipped.
Like a piece tears and then it gets stuck like wedged up.
My old roommate had this thing where his shoulder would always pop out of place and he'd be like, oh my god, ow, ow, but then he would have to hit it against the wall to pop it back in.
You know, we had this guy on Mark Sisson the other day, and he's the author of The Primal Blueprint, and he was talking about he had irritable bowel syndrome, which whenever I hear that, I don't even want to know what that is.
It seems like that makes sense, getting some kind of, like, you know, scan of your body, of what your body needs or lacks or needs more of than other people.
Because I think that's what the ancestral diet idea is.
The idea this Mark Sisson guy was talking about that's really fascinating to me is that when you're taking in all these carbs, you're taking in a lot of sugar.
And when you eliminate sugar and eliminate inflammatory foods, your body operates more efficiently.
It's just healthier.
It has more resources to fight off illness and inflammation and things like that.
It's a fascinating concept.
So I think it might not work for everybody.
I don't know.
What the fuck do I know?
But I'm going to give it a shot for a little while.
People that really started doing a lot of cardio, doing a lot of running and things along those lines, that's something that's supposed to be specifically good.
You need both kinds of things for your life.
You need some kind of strenuous stuff, whether it's body weight stuff, push-ups or something like that, or anything that really gets your strength going.
And then you need something that's just cardiovascular.
When you do those things together, man, your body just relaxes.
Well, I always feel like when I'm in a hotel room, when I'm closing all the windows, closing all the curtains, there's something about locking yourself in a totally dark room in a strange place.
The gas vents, called fumaroles, which blast hot sulphur gas, stain the surrounding landscape of bright yellow, and the ignited sulphur burns with a blue thing.
My name is Reuben Wu.
I'm a photographer and a filmmaker from Liverpool, UK, but currently based in Chicago.
The blue flame is too dim to be seen in the daylight, so I had to wait until dusk for it to be seen.
And the moonlight was dull enough to show the flames as well as reveal the surrounding landscape.
I also used long exposures in many of my images, which allows for pictures which show an extended period of time rather than a split second.
I wonder if this is just a photo trick, like, yeah, there's a little blue flame to it, so I'm going to keep the exposure open a little so it looks a little bit more blue than it would with your naked eye.
They'll probably try to make some laws against that if it becomes a real problem.
But like Yellowstone, look at Yellowstone National Park.
That place is fucking amazing, man.
And it's an incredible place to visit.
It's incredible.
Like, you have a real good chance of seeing, like, bisons and shit.
You got a good chance of seeing a fucking bear, too.
You got to be real careful.
Because they've killed hikers, like, more than, I think it was...
More than one attack, and I know at least one dead, over the last five or six years, because they think that these bears are getting too accustomed to being around people.
They know that if you break into someone's car, they usually have food in there.
They know that coolers usually have food in them.
They get smart.
And so once they come around people once, like, fuck, then they start coming around all the time.
Have you ever wondered if we can feel electricity in a room?
Maybe it's not enough where we can tell for sure if it was happening or if it's not happening, but enough where there's just a subtle underlying thing that your body's experiencing.
It doesn't really make sense like a radio wave like radio waves Wi-Fi satellites I mean satellite radio and TV satellite signals GPS signals What's all this we're sure for sure is this not doing anything to us because we haven't really been doing that for that long Is that something to be worried about you know If you take a cat who's the most sensitive animal ever,
that cat's just sitting there, and you turn on something right next to it that has wifi, right next to his little whiskers, you would think it would even maybe twitch just a teeny bit.
And the other cat, the fluffette, the white one...
That one is...
She's a little bit more assertive.
It's funny.
She attacks him.
You know, a cat's like, we'll play fight.
It's always her jacking him.
It's always her around a corner, and he'll be hanging out, and she'll be like...
He doesn't know that she's back there, so she knows he doesn't know, so her little legs start shaking, and her tail starts flickering, and she's moving real close, and then she pounces on him!
And fucks him up, and then he, what the fuck, bitch?
And he backs up, and they chase each other for a couple feet.
It's hilarious, man.
But they're both such pussies.
Because they're both ragdolls.
Like, they're the nicest cats.
Even when they fight, they don't even fight.
Even when they fight, they're like, ooh, you fucking bitch.
There's a lot of people that, you know, like, you go to the comedy store and you look at the walls of how many, you know, great comics that just fucking disappeared.
And I'll sit there sometimes and just Google everybody's name that's on the wall, like, you know, see where they're at now.
It's amazing how they just fall off, like, just disappear and never do anything.
Like, what happened to this person, this person, and this person?
I can see, it's hard, because to be a stand-up, you really still, even know how rich you get, if you become a movie star, you're a millionaire, you still have to go in practice and go to the comedy club.
So I can see where it's easy to quit if you get to a certain point where you're like, you know what, I'm a grown adult, I'm rich, I have a wife and kids, I don't want to go to this little shitty club and practice these new jokes, you know?
So I can see how it's easy to get out of comedy, you know?
Say if you started some pursuit in your life, like if you started off and you were a painter.
You went to painting school and all that shit and you got through it and you became a respected artist and you were painting all the time, but you fucking hated painting.
Like, you were done with it.
Like, you were done with it.
You wanted to go build sailboats.
You wanted to...
You have these other ideas in your head that you want to pursue.
Like, that happens to people, you know?
So, if they quit doing stand-up, you know, that's okay.
These people, they come in, they're not even Americans.
They got a bow and arrow.
They're crazy.
I mean, what?
No, you can't have this in your room.
Give me that thing.
You know, like you come to the saloon, put your fucking gun in the bucket, sir.
You know?
You come to our hotel, give me your fucking bow and arrow.
No, you can't practice in your room and accidentally shoot the fucking television.
I don't know you.
What if you get whiskied up and you're working on your fucking draw length in your hotel room and you send your arrow flying through the middle of the electrical box and cause a fucking 13-story fire that kills a thousand people?
I always freak out where you can't have a razor blade on the airplane, but yet you can have a MacBook Pro that you can smack over the head of somebody and probably kill them.
Because for the most part, if you see a beautiful pool cue...
What a lot of players like, they like the cue to be 19 ounces.
So they work on making...
There's a few people that like 20. 20's rare.
Sometimes you'll find the outliers that like something heavy.
But they're pretty specifically between 18 and 20 ounces.
Now, for a normal person, that would seem like, well, what's the difference?
Well, to the pool players, the professionals...
It's a touch that they develop where they know the exact weight of their cue.
And so the exact impact is going to have.
So they have to balance it out.
And a lot of times the way they balance it out is by using different kinds of wood.
So they use one kind of wood for what you see, but another kind of wood for under the wrap.
And it'll be a lighter, like a maple, similar to maybe shaft wood even.
And then on the outsides of the...
The front and the back it might even just be cored where they they drill through the actual hard wood and they stuff a core in there of a softer wood so the cue achieves like the desired look and maybe uniform feel but it has a lower mass a lower weight so you can get it down to like maybe even below 19 ounces or you know for reasonably well done cue but if you hit somebody ahead with that it's gonna break For the most part, possibly.
Yeah, but if you get one of those fucking house cues, like those full splice house cues, and you grab the hard end, the dark end, you can beat the fuck out of somebody with one of those.
That's a different animal.
Because that's one solid piece of wood.
Especially those old school ones, those are like the Dufferin blanks, you know?
It's like a rosewood on the bottom and a maple on the top.
And right from the splice where it's white, that stuff's gonna break.
But the stuff above it, you could beat the fuck out of somebody with the stuff above it.
That hard shit, you could hit them as hard as you want, you probably wouldn't break it.
Probably be pretty hard.
People are like, I'll fucking do it, bro.
Okay, maybe you can.
But maybe like a normal person, it would be very hard to break that on somebody.
You could do it.
You could be some fucking, you know, Incredible Hulk type character and just smash on the first attempt, but I would imagine, like, it's a much harder and denser, like, weapon than a standard, like, very pretty pool cue.
A lot of pool cues are, like, artistic.
It's really interesting because People outside the pool world, they would think, like, what are you talking about?
There's a collector's group of pool cue addicts, and they're addicted to pool cues?
They collect cues?
But dude, you'd be surprised.
There's guys out there that have collections that are worth a million bucks and more in pool cues.
Terence McKenna in an old lecture was talking about catching bugs and that there's something like because we used to eat bugs a lot when we were like primates that there's almost like this genetic excitement thing that comes when you catch a bug that's similar to what happens when you catch a fish.
You know that thing that happens when you catch a fish?
Because this fucking fish is pulling out line, and you finally get him in there, and you suck him out of his dimension, and he's flopping around in your boat.
Well, if we do know for sure what an animal's feeling when it dies, it would definitely be way harder to eat meat.
Way harder.
That's...
That's the argument of like the the vegan movement that makes the most sense because if we really knew but here's the thing A lot of these motherfuckers, they don't even care about each other.
Like those deer that I eat, they kill each other all the time.
They fucking stab each other with the horns that grow out of their heads.
Bears?
Bears are like cannibals.
They're all cannibals.
People get angry like if you eat black bear.
Like first of all, black bear is delicious and bears are fucking monsters.
They're cannibals.
It doesn't mean we don't want to kill them or don't want to let them live or want to extinguish all of them.
And they just fucking just, just, you made me picture it, because I remember hearing, uh, I think Mike Rowe, the guy from Dirty Jobs, talking on, uh, the Opie and Jimmy show one day about it.
Like, he went out, I think he went out with these people for a few nights in a row and made a little documentary online.
I'm trying to find it right now, but, uh.
They said it was crazy.
They go after their backs and just break their backs and toss them around and just throw them and go after another one.
I had some some work done on my basement and I'm just thinking maybe there was like something trapped in the wall that like as They were cut into the wall.
She got the old dead rat.
I have no idea where the fuck it came from But it was in my house and it was like a mummy man.
When you see him on TV, when there's some sort of a prison thing going on, and you see they have photos of him, and they're moving him around or something like that, it's like, whoa.
I wonder if there's any way to do any new evidence using today's DNA technology to find out if he, you know, like this making the murder, you know, you haven't watched it yet.
Just making this murder things interesting because of like, you know, like the technology that they're using like and stuff like JonBenet Ramsey, like it seems like they should be able to find who killed her now using today's technology.
Well, I don't know, man, but the point being, if they wanted to try to figure out who the murderer was today, you would have a real problem, I think, with the evidence being contaminated.
I mean, how much evidence do they have?
How long does a body last before you can exhume it and examine it?
I couldn't watch those shows, but I'm not into that.
I don't know if we talked about this, but there's this bridge in Pasadena called Suicide Bridge, and it was made in, I believe, the 30s.
And people die all the time off this bridge.
They just go there and kill themselves.
I know somebody that was hiking...
And he was just hiking, and there's just a girl dead on the trail, because there's like a trail that goes on the bottom of it.
And then somebody told me, I don't know if this is true, but somebody told me that when they have huge rainstorms, that all these bones just kind of wash down from this big...
But yeah, they say the bones washed down the mountain and then like in the trail that you'll just like see like little bone here and there that From bodies that like jumped and were never found in this like side of this Wow, if there's that many people have done it.
I don't know what it's called, but there's this thing in Mexico where it's a restaurant that's up in the air where you're sitting, glass bottom, in the middle of the air just eating.
So this guy was essentially saying that he's not on Bill Cosby's side, but that the actual law, the way the law is written, he gave him some sort of a deal Yeah.
Yeah.
you're anyway in court he he deposition so he was willing to do the deposition based on the fact that he couldn't get prosecuted prosecuted for it So now that they want to prosecute him for the same case, this guy thinks that that is not legal.
I think a lot of them are saying it's blacking out.
You know, man, the trauma of that, can you imagine?
If you just thought that guy was really cool and you wanted to hang out with him and you woke up with one shoe on and your panties are down by your ankles and you realize what happened, you'd be like, what?
And you don't even know what to say.
You don't even know what to say.
You're like, what happened?
What?
And especially if you're drinking together, you're having fun, having a couple of cocktails, you don't think anything's going wrong.
Well, they say honestly when you drink a lot that's it starts happening like later in your life that like people that are They're getting drunk like five six nights a week and I'm not saying you necessarily were but their their tolerance Starts to like drop off their body's ability to fight it off starts to like drop off and the propensity towards blackouts and It's when the way it's been explained to me by someone who had a problem with it,
that it gets to this point where it's just like super common to black out, where it didn't used to be.
They have tests now that they can immediately just test you and they're not the most accurate.
So that's the only thing that you have going for you.
But if they pull you over and there's smoke coming out of your window or they see a joint on you that just got burnt, they can test you now and go, oh yeah, you have marijuana in your system, you got a DUI. No matter if you have a license no matter if you have anything and it's totally like one of those things he's telling me I'm like Jesus Christ you know like I you don't think about that it is still illegal and yeah well even if it wasn't Illegal,
But it's a fucking way different kind of impairment than the kind of impairment that you would get from alcohol.
Like, it's not like a muscular coordination type of impairment.
It's a different impairment.
It's like a judgment impairment, perhaps, or just freak out, anxiety, like that kind of impairment and inability to recognize when to merge, when not to merge.
Oh, I'm fucking freaking out, man.
That could happen for sure.
That can definitely happen.
And that should be taken into consideration whenever you make it legal to do anything.
We agree that it's all legal to drink caffeine and get in your car.
We all agree that.
It's speed.
You could have a monster energy drink sitting in your cup holder when a cop pulls you over.
Dude, those things, if you don't want to play games, if you want to just get crazy, just chug one of those big ones, like the ones that look like the lemonade cans, those giant lemonade cans.
I was going to add to what you were just saying, though, but there's a certain amount of people you know that shouldn't be driving anyway, even when they're stone sober.
objective view of life and death and the cycle of things and the Sun running out of fuel eventually, this planet no longer being viable for life, that all those things are gonna happen millions and millions of years in the future.
For you, not so much time.
Everybody, not so much time.
If you're born today, well, congratulations.
You only have a hundred years if you're really, really, really, really lucky.
So for all of us, This whole thing is a quick flash where we try to figure out what's going on.
It's a quick flash.
It's happening right in front of our faces.
And we're living it.
And while we're living it, we're going, what is going on here?
What are we exactly doing?
What are we exactly doing?
We're working and sleeping and eating and funking and going to the movies, but what are we doing?
What is this race?
What is this race of people doing?
What is this weird thing that only has a hundred years of life and just starts to figure out how bizarre and weird this whole thing is before it's snuffed out?
And the new ones, what they're Similarly short lifespan, benefit from all the information passed on by the ones before them, but still, go through life like it's a dream.
Still, do everything you do and think, is this real?
What is this life?
Like, what is the sky?
What is this infinity above my head that no one talks about?
I think, you know, if you had kids today, I think they're a little bit luckier because I feel like we're on the cuff of being able to download us, you know, very soon.
And I don't think we might miss it just by like a couple years.
I think we will become incredibly annoying spammers of ourselves.
That's what we're going to do.
We're going to be able to download ourselves, then we're just going to fucking shoot ourselves into BitTorrent and mega-upload.
We're going to put ourselves everywhere.
Like, I want to go everywhere.
I want to go to fucking Europe.
I want to be in Turkey.
And there'll be doubles and triples of people all throughout this artificial world that we've created of hyperspace.
We're going to have like a hyperspace cloud drive of humanity that's going to be just as fucking crowded as Earth.
And we're going to go, shit, we don't have enough hard drive space in the fucking cloud, and these assholes keep copying themselves because they want to be immortal.
So rich guys would have a cloud server of 200 trillion terabytes, and it would just be filled with copies of themselves.
And then they would just send out fucking fake emails.
Well, do you remember when we were talking a long time ago about being able to recreate a celebrity in some sort of an artificial life that will have sex with you?
Like if you become like some super billionaire Donald Trump type character and you got long paper, you know what I'm saying?
That guy could, he has the cash, or one of those things when they first start get designed, he could do that.
He could do whatever he wants.
We're going to get there within the next, I'd say 100 years, where they're going to have these artificial people that you can have sex with that are, you're not going to be able, they're going to be like Blade Runner things.
I think it's totally possible that we're going to be able to replicate what we are.
It might not happen in our lifetime or even our children's lifetime, but it just seems to me that they just keep getting better and better at fixing things and using, like, Willie Nelson just had a stem cell operation to fix his lungs.
It's super possible that they're going to be able to figure out a way to make tissue healthier than it is now, right?
It's for how long, at what price do you pay?
You're always going to pay a price.
If you use something abrasive on your lungs, like cigarette smoke, like even joints, I've got to imagine that if you're like one of those hardened leather-lunged hash heads that's just constantly...
So cigarette smoke is real bad because there's all these chemicals.
So they might be able to figure out something that can regenerate healthy tissue and get rid of the bad tissue.
Maybe they could give you some sort of a flush, you know, where they would fill your lungs up with something and it would just eradicate all the bad tissue.
Who the fuck knows?
They'll figure it out, though, dude.
Whatever it is.
They'll fix everything.
It's going to be so many people.
It's going to be such a problem.
Because they're going to be able to fix everything.
Apparently there's still a rule in the federal code of regulations that they have to have an ashtray.
And I think it's only because in 1973 a flight crashed and killed 123 people and the attributed reason was because a cigarette was improperly disposed of.
I mean, I have a bit about it, but there's some kind of science where they say every pack of cigarettes takes off 30 minutes off your life or something like that.
They've figured out what...
The averages.
And then if you figure out how many years you smoke, then you're like, yeah, I don't want to live to be 100, so I'll live to be 77. That's fine.
Yeah, there's a few bits that I have retired, and it's just amazing how, you know, with all this Amy Schumer stuff and all that, I saw a I met a girl the other day.
I didn't even know she was a comic.
And she told me her website.
And so later, after I hung out with her, I went home, went to her website.
And she's just a new comic.
Opened up her front page.
On the front page, she had a video.
Press play.
It was almost word for word, one of my bits.
And I was just like, wow, that's how...
Easy it is.
She's never seen me.
I've never seen her.
We've never met.
I've only done that bit a few times, but how she said it was almost exactly how I wrote it.
There's no way around it, and it's totally normal.
You know, Kurt Metzger had a real good point about it, and he's one of the guys who's involved in this whole thing.
He's the head writer of Amy's show.
And he said that there's oftentimes, and it's a fact, that people write the exact same premise.
And they have no idea.
They write it completely independently.
They know they wrote it independently.
And then they'll see it on something.
And it had already been done.
They're like, oh, no.
Happens all the time because if you can see funny in something other people could see funny in something It's not we're not talking about some insane bizarre esoteric Mr. Show with Bob and Dave sketch like they had some really bizarre if you stole one of those sketches like Dude,
it's pretty obvious that this they have like really bizarre original subjects It's a very strange show and the way it's seamless it goes from one scene to the next and and one each show is like an entire piece It's all connected Have you seen the new show?
But if you're just dealing with, like, standard subjects, like sex and relationships and marriage and diseases and work and drinking and, you know, whatever the fuck it sketches on, just normal stuff, normal life stuff, if you...
Other people talk about that too, especially with sketches.
Do you know how many fucking sketches have been put out?
We were thinking about this because of this whole thing.
Think about all the years of Saturday Night Live.
Saturday Night Live has been on for how many years?
No, I mean, it doesn't look good, but what I think...
I don't think she's guilty.
I think it was writers, and I think she needs to kind of stand up and be like, look, it wasn't me, and this guy stole two bits, and this guy stole two bits.
The problem is, first of all, for her, she's in the worst position, right?
Because it's her show.
She's got her name on it.
But if I was...
I looked at this completely honestly.
As little as I watch sketch comedy...
I didn't know that any of those bits had been done before.
I didn't know that the...
All of them.
Pretty much all of them.
I didn't know.
So if somebody tried to sell those to me, I'd be like, oh, that's a good sketch.
So I guess every time a sketch comes up, you've got to enter that premise into Google.
Jim Norton and I were just talking about it this weekend.
If you're writing hundreds and hundreds of sketches, if you're doing a Saturday Night Live or something like that, how do you find out whether or not this premise has been done before?
Unless they come out and say, hey, I saw that guy do it, and that's where I came up with the bit, and I tried to pretend I wrote it myself.
Unless they come out and say that, it's so hard to figure out what's going on.
Just being completely fair.
It's always hard.
The problem is there's multiple instances.
I get it.
I get it.
I agree.
Those premises, though, hmm...
There's a few of them that are pretty original.
I thought the counter guy, like her not being able to talk to the black guy, was pretty original.
But who the fuck knows, man?
Who knows?
It's possible if one person came up with it, another person could come up with the same thing.
Just you don't know.
And the real problem lies in when people lie and steal and then pretend they didn't.
So if someone is, you know, you have a bit, it's a killer bit, and this guy just swipes it and starts doing it and goes, dude, I came up with the exact same bit.
I'm so sorry.
And then starts doing it.
Well, then you got an ethical problem.
Then you got a real problem.
But if you both come up with the same bit, like a tell is probably the best at it.
And one of the things that Norton and I were talking about, like a tell will go up to everybody when he has a new bit.
If it seems like it came too easy, if he's like, where'd that come from?
Have I heard this before?
He'll text you.
Hey man, have you heard this before?
He'll call you.
Like he's real diligent about that.
And if somebody else already has one, just chucks it aside.
And I think...
That's probably the best way to be.
Just do what you think is original and try to find out if anybody's already done it, I guess.
See, what I do, or what I try to do, I've always tried to do this.
Except for you or Don Barris or Brody Stevens, I don't watch comedy.
I don't like watching other comics.
I don't want to be influenced by it.
And I think if you...
As a comic, if you follow that kind of rule where you're not really watching comedy, even if you did come up with the same present, you could say with a straight face, look, I've never seen you.
But that's why I would have to tell you, in certain circumstances, jokes that are really common, like the one that you did know that was really common about the last 20 years.
What years are you missing?
Like, if you smoke cigarettes, it takes 20 years off your life.
I like your take on it, though.
Your take on it's pretty funny, because it's a ridiculous red band math equation.
I think more than anything, man, it's comedy fans that are policing it now.
It's really interesting.
And I say fans, and I use it in the loosest term possible, because some of them are actual fans of the person they're going after, and some of them are just not.
You know, some of them, they've been looking for some reason why this person is no good for a while, and then when they find this, they just go wild with it, and they love it.
So they're not necessarily fans of the person.
So if they're making a video about her, they're not necessarily fans of her, but they might call themselves comedy fans.
And so they see something like this happen and they get furious.
Just have to be real careful because there's a giant issue with it being a bunch of people writing on a show and doing sketches.
It's so fucking hard to know where those things are coming from.
Well, I think, first of all, there's some people that write, and this isn't to hold stand-up comics in some crazy high form of ethics and morality, but there's some people that write on shows that are not stand-up comedians, and their ideas about ideas are different than our ideas about our ideas.
What I mean by that is...
They can get away with it.
Some of them will pilfer an idea whether it's take it from a book and rearrange it Take it from a video and transcribe it and don't give the person credit who said it the first time when when people are taking Jokes from comedians and using them to create sketches with them and pretending that they came up with them on their own It's you know, it's not it's not cool.
It's right.
It's fucking gross But they probably aren't comedians.
So it's like if you had a really funny line for a joke that was a lyric of a song, and you heard it in a song, and you're like, ooh, I'm going to put this in my act.
I'm going to have this amazing punchline in my act that is from this song.
So the joke in the song is, I'm going to pretend I came up with it on my own, put it in my act.
It's like similar in that kind of a way, you know what I'm saying?
One thing I always thought was interesting is, because just from watching so many roast battles and stuff like that, is how...
Roast jokes are like the same jokes that they've used for, you know, years and years and years and years just kind of rebranded and like, and it used to be totally acceptable before there was internet before there was TV shows, you know, like the Friars Club and all that stuff like that.
They're all kind of like, Taking from each other and reusing shit that Charlie Chaplin may have said.
It's just interesting that that's one of the few things in comedy that it's kind of like an unspoken thing, but who cares?
No one's getting mad if you reuse a roast joke that Milton Berle's mom made.
Yeah, well now, with TV and stuff like that, it's interesting because if they have a roast show on Comedy Central, or somebody does a joke on that, and they reuse it in their roast a few years later, now it's like, oh, you can't do that anymore, even though you used to be able to do it, and that was the whole thing.
You know how popular Dirty Dancing was and how popular that soundtrack was that they released a soundtrack like two months after that had none of the music from the movie, but it was just called like Dirty Dancing Soundtrack Part Two.
It was just a way to sell another CD. That is every girl's dream.
And there's women that have been smoking two packs of cigarettes every day since their whole life, and they're 102. Right, right, but they look like monsters.
I just think at this stage of my life, what I'm becoming more and more cognizant of as I get older is you can work too much.
It's not good.
It's not good to work too much.
There's a good amount of work you should do, but there's a lot of people that pride themselves in working too much and wearing themselves out.
It's something they carry around like a shield.
If you don't have to do it, I understand if you have to do it, but if you don't have to do it, you should probably have some fun.
Don't get overwhelmed with the desire to succeed.
Your whole life could pass you by if you're one of those Gordon Gekko assholes.
Your whole life could pass you by if you're some crazy hedge fund sociopath on the loose just sucking numbers out of the matrix with his fucking computer algorithms.
Like, that guy is just connected to it.
He's a part of it.
So he's successful.
But along the way, he's not even having any fun.
You know, he's just living life in this constantly stressed, Adderall-induced, like, speedy, fucking decision-making, ass-kicking, fucking mode all the time, you know?
Yeah, my dad almost died doing it once because he got caught underneath the raft and he said he couldn't breathe and he just gave up and then at the last second we was floating down somebody just grabbed him out of the water.
My friend Remy Warren, who's done the podcast a few times, not the last time that he was on, but the time before that, I think the first time he was on, he told me a story about he was in the woods and he saw a body come down the river.
The guy was face down in the water.
He saw some clothes.
And then he saw some gear floating down.
And then he saw a body.
And he realized, oh, shit.
And then he saw a woman.
And the woman was bobbing her head up in the air and trying to survive and getting caught up in the current.
And he ran into that fucking water, thinking that he was going to die.
Thinking, like, I just made the biggest mistake.
I'm going to try to help this lady.
I'm going to wind up dying.
He's a strong guy, and he's in really good shape.
He hikes a lot in the mountains.
He's very fit.
For his television show, it's called Apex Predator.
He did these VO2 max tests where they made him do sprints.
They found out he's got a very high level of endurance just because he's constantly hiking in the mountains, but still.
You jump into the water and you grab ahold of somebody, they can drown you.
They could flail and you might not recover and while you're flailing around you might hit a log.
You're going down this water, it's going really fast and what happened to these people was they were doing that in a raft and the current got really fast and they hit a downed tree.
And they got fucked up.
And the dude drowned.
And he died.
And the woman survived, but barely.
And she was freezing to death.
The water was insanely cold.
So this dude jumped in the water and pulled him out.
Find out what number podcast it is so we can tell people that are listening to this right now.
Why do you got to pretend that you can't teleport clothes, you fucks?
You know, why does he got to be naked?
You know, get out of here.
What?
What?
Fuck out of here with that.
That's probably what it's gonna be though, right?
It is probably gonna be once they figure out teleporting.
You have to be by yourself.
The first day someone gets scrambled because there's a glitch in the matrix when they're teleporting someone and they come out a bucket of feet and eyeballs and dicks in their mouth and they're twisted like a pretzel.
The first time that happens, whoa.
That's gonna be a tough day.
But we accept a certain amount of car accidents, you know?
We accept thousands and thousands of car accidents every year.
We just think about how many people die.
If we were thinking, like, our real enemy is the automobile.
Automobiles are killing people with, you know, people driving them.
But the automobiles hitting into people, people hitting things in their automobiles, that's what's killing people.
If you really looked at it that way, the numbers are pretty high.
I think it's like 30,000 people or something crazy die in automobile accidents every year.
If that was an enemy, you know, a robot enemy that came from space, was killing 30,000 people a day, we wouldn't be so fucking nonchalant about it, you know?
It would have been awesome to see Motley Crue and Jimi Hendrix or anyone in the doors back in the day, but I saw a band for the first time when I was a teenager in high school, Orgy.
I saw they were on the billboard so I went and saw them and I probably should have just stayed home.
That's the coolest place I've ever seen a concert in my life.
I've never been to Red Rocks, which I've heard is also cool.
That's a big place to see in Denver, but as far as a small venue where you can see a real awesome concert with maybe 200 people and real big names play there frequently.
Well, it's becoming something different, for sure.
Like that giant billboard that's right in front of the store.
It's movies.
Whose idea is it to take a fucking road that already has plenty of accidents and put up A giant, fucking, multi-colored, super bright billboard that you almost need sunglasses to look at, and it's playing videos.
It's almost like part of the charm of the place that you go there.
You're just going to be, wow, look at all the lights.
This is crazy.
But the idea of Times Square is you're getting out of a cab or you're climbing off the subway and you're looking around.
You're not driving in that fucking thing.
How many people go visit New York and drive in Times Square?
I go, Jesus Christ.
That's a giant ball of neon.
It's chaos.
Like Vegas is the same way.
You ever see some of those casinos?
They have goddamn huge movie screens playing on the outside of their casino, showing you people singing, fucking rocking out, carrot topping, pow!
All this shit's going on as you're driving down the street.
And you're on coke.
And you're trying to drive slow.
Trying to keep it together.
What's this fucking movie?
Why are they showing me this?
Cirque du Soleil?
That's something that's pretty fucking specific.
Think about that show.
If you go to Cirque du Soleil, you need to see almost superhuman feats of physical fitness.
They had one of those Cirque du Soleil dudes.
This is like a perfect contrast to what we were doing.
We were eating over at, I guess it's like Wolfgang Pucks is right over by the Cirque du Soleil place.
We were eating and this dude was coming from the Cirque du Soleil like he had been working there.
And in the middle of the hallway while we were stuffing our face with food, this dude just starts doing backflips.
He did like one, two, three, four, five backflifts and landed and laughed and laughed with his friend and fucking buttoned up his shirt and got out of there.
But this dude just flipped through the air and then started going, feet to hands, feet to hands, feet to hands, jump!
And we were like, whoa.
We got a mouthful of linguine with clams.
Trying to put a fucking damper on this buzz before I go to sleep.
You know?
This dude is flipping, doing flips down the hallway.
Those guys, I saw a video the other day, this guy's just like on top of this building and just jumps down through this thing, like, jumps in through a window.
I find it more interesting watching people doing this kind of stuff in real life situations, like around the streets, because it's like they're ninjas.
They can break into buildings just by doing this parkour shit.
What if the future of UFC and shit is a room like this and both fighters just start on each side of their room and they're allowed to jump around and do ninja moves?
Imagine if that would be the more sophisticated, high-level version of MMA, when we do it virtual reality style, that two guys start out in a building, and they don't know where the other person is in the building.
And so you have to be real sneaky and walk around, and you're allowed to hit the person if they don't see you.
And they shot around Universal Studios, and they'd go to different sets, and they'd be in a central area, and be like, this team versus this team, and the first fight's going to be here, and they'd go off to the lake, and they'd go fight at the lake, and then they'd come back...
What if it was like the real world, there's a camera in every room, and one person started in the attic, one person started in the basement, and you're trying to beat up the other person.
But I think there's got to be an element of virtual reality.
To watch it, because we can't be there, right?
But to watch it and get the best angles, you should be able to watch the perspective of both people.
The perspective of the guy doing the beating up and the perspective of the guy getting beat up, the perspective of the guy that doesn't know the guys behind him, and the perspective of the guy who knows that the guy doesn't know and is sneaking up on him, ready to jack him.
Yes, but you know what I've noticed with wireless charging is that it charges slow and sometimes you'll put your phone on the little dock thing and it doesn't sit right and then you don't have it charged and so then you're like, what the fuck?
I don't know, it's still there.
Right now there's a company, I forget who it is, I think it's Apple that just filed a patent for wireless charging.
I think there's a bunch of different causes that they think.
I think they think genetics, they think people when they get older and have children, much more likely that the children are going to have autism.
They become much more susceptible as the parents get older and older.
It's directly proportionate, they think.
But there's a lot of questions.
But what causes it, and whether or not it's more prevalent today, or whether the diagnosing of it is more prevalent, I believe that's debatable.
There's more people today, so obviously there's going to be more cases of it, but are they the same percentage of cases?
One of the things that they've always tried to correlate is marijuana with schizophrenia.
And the problems that were exposed, I think in the culture high they had this, where they were saying that the instances of schizophrenia have been uniform throughout history, when we've been monitoring it.
It's like 1% of the population.
1% of the population is schizophrenic.
Just because that 1% may or may not have smoked marijuana, it doesn't raise it.
When marijuana becomes more popular, when it gets used more, it still stays at 1%.
It doesn't seem to vary from 1%.
It's just a 1% deviation.
It's like the quality control of God is not the best in the world.
You get hit in the head by a rock and you're too nervous to get it up.
You're ready to bang your sister.
Finally!
We get to do this.
We've been staring at each other for 35 years.
Let's fucking do this.
She's like, fuck yeah.
I always wanted to fuck my brother.
You know, he spits on his dick and he's trying to get it hard and that fucking thing keeps getting closer and closer.
And she's like, come on!
Come on, we're gonna die!
You're such a fucking loser.
I always knew you were a loser.
Give me a chance to fuck me!
The asteroid is coming and you fucking blew it, Charlie Brown!
You blew it, Charlie Brown!
And you see the asteroid getting bigger and bigger, and the last memory this guy has as he transforms and changes and connects with hyperspace is him not being able to get it up while his sister screamed at him in the street staring at an asteroid.
It makes me wonder, though, because I feel like there's going to be a large amount of people, if that happens, that will run into the street and be like, that's it, let's just fuck each other.
That's an option in your phone that a lot of people don't know is I can turn on my location tracking and send it to you so you can just track me for life if you wanted to.
I mean, if bosses can tell you that you have to have a piss test, okay?
If they can piss test you, what they're saying is they want to make sure you didn't smoke some pot on the weekend, right?
If you get there Monday...
I know guys who won't smoke pot because they worry they're going to get tested randomly at work and it would cost them their job.
You get fired.
So if you smoke a joint on Friday after work, you know, the fights are on, you get a pizza with your friends, you guys smoke a joint, you have a laugh, you watch pizza, and then you show up Monday morning.
Do you really think they're going to be affected by that joint?
Nope.
Not at all.
But they'll test positive.
They're going to test positive.
That's the same thing.
It's just like your boss is telling you mentally to stay put.
They can write it into their contract because it's an illegal drug.
And they just fire you, man.
And you can have totally non-psychoactive levels in your system.
Doesn't matter.
Totally sober.
And also, there's no science that backs that there's long-term effects of, you know, you smoke a joint on Friday night and, you know, a Monday morning, some sort of a long-term...
And if there is, judge the person based on their performance at work.
Don't, you know, you can't, if someone's not doing their job at work, I mean, that's why they check each other out, and that's why they have assessments and stuff, and that's why you have meetings with your supervisors, and that's what that's for.
Okay, it has nothing to do with what, like, one person could be a fucking moron and never touch a drop of alcohol and never smoke and never do anything their whole life, and they could be a fucking moron.
You don't get brownie points.
You don't get extra points for not doing drugs.
You just don't.
It's like, what happens when the guy does?
Is he okay?
What if he has a couple of drinks on Friday, and he shows up Monday morning fresh as a daisy, he worked out the gym at 530, and he's fucking here ready to rock and roll.
What do you give a fuck?
Like, it's stupid.
It's a stupid, like, distinction to put on someone, to think that somehow or another it's bad.
Did you hear about the guy in Miami who recently bought a house, and when they were excavating some of the property, they found a safe, and it was Pablo Escobar's former house.
When you realize how much money that guy had, and how much power, and how much havoc he caused, and that it wasn't that long ago.
And now they say Columbia is, like, really safe and really nice.
Like, Columbia is a totally different place now.
Now that all that shit's done with, they're like, no, it's nice.
Like, they figured it out.
Like, Bourdain went there for a show.
And you see what it's like now, and it's like, it's really beautiful.
They actually worked their way through this issue.
It's crazy.
Because people think of Colombia, and you think of the Medellin cartel, you think of the drug killings of, you know, it's like one of the most iconic things about it, right?