Sept. 28, 2015 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:20:14
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| OTPHJ. Over the pants hand jump. | ||
| Over the pants hand jump. | ||
| Did you just make that up? | ||
| I was just waiting for the right fucking time. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Alright, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| This is now where it's official. | ||
| It's happening. | ||
| Yeah, I said it. | ||
| It sounds professional. | ||
| Someone said, who said I have a radio voice? | ||
| Oh, Donald. | ||
| Cowboy was like, I got a radio voice. | ||
| Now it's your radio voice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Donald Cowboy? | |
| Donald Cowboy Cerrone. | ||
| He's a guy who fights in the UFC. Awesome. | ||
| And he was here for the podcast the other day, and he said, excuse me of having a radio voice. | ||
| Now I think about it. | ||
| Fuck, do I? You have a delicate voice. | ||
| Why is that a bad thing? | ||
| I think that's a compliment. | ||
| Well, I recognize that the instrument has a bunch of different sounds that it can make. | ||
| This is one of the reasons why I appreciate music. | ||
| I appreciate music. | ||
| I've told you guys this before. | ||
| One of the things I love about what you guys do is I have zero talent. | ||
| I love something that I have where I don't know anything about it. | ||
| It's fascinating. | ||
| I love music. | ||
| I'm a huge fan. | ||
| I know nothing about it. | ||
| When you guys start talking about bars and notes, and I'm like, blah. | ||
| Blah, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| I have a question. | ||
| We don't either. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| Honestly. | ||
| Are you, like, because you use your voice a lot, you know, when you're on stage and you use it in different registers and, you know, you podcast. | ||
| Do you, like, have you ever had problems with it? | ||
| No. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Well, I do a lot of screaming, too. | ||
| That's what's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, I know you do. | |
| I know, and you hear a lot of comedians that... | ||
| Weirdest set up with, I think. | ||
| You know, you could do it without fucking your thing up. | ||
| Well, the UFC is the weirdest one. | ||
| I fucking scream sometimes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't even know I'm doing it until I'm doing it. | ||
| Like, sometimes I'm standing up. | ||
| I don't even know I'm up. | ||
| Like, I'm standing up while I'm doing... | ||
| Like, there was an Orlovsky and Travis Brown fight. | ||
| This crazy fight between these two giant guys who are peeing the fuck out of each other. | ||
| They kept getting dropped, like, over and over. | ||
| Orlovsky dropped him. | ||
| Three times and he kept getting up and then he dropped Arlovski and then Arlovski came back and knocked him out and by the end of the fight I was standing up screaming and I had to realize I didn't in my pants first I didn't know I was up until I was like I was fucking standing up I don't even know I've I've only done that a couple times ever I just all of a sudden I'm standing up. | ||
| Well the fact that you can scream and you don't lose your voice I think is remarkable because it's like I Back when I was bartending, I would lose my voice all the time just from trying to raise your volume. | ||
| But when I quit bartending, my voice went up like an octave. | ||
| But I had to go to speech therapy, so I learned all these things about how to use my voice. | ||
| So where were you back then? | ||
| When you say up an octave, is that like there's an actual note? | ||
| For singing, not for my... | ||
| I wasn't like speaking in a... | ||
| I'd be like, hello! | ||
| Well, those old ladies that you hear about, like the old bar lady. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who was that girl? | ||
| Sue Bob. | ||
| Sue Bob from the Whites of West Virginia. | ||
| Another Budweiser boy. | ||
| I've always been the sexy one in the family. | ||
| You ever seen it? | ||
| You haven't seen it? | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| No, you've never seen it? | ||
| Never once. | ||
| The wonderful Whites of West Virginia. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Everyone talks about that. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Did you tell us about this before? | ||
| We must have. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| Required viewing. | ||
| Once you've seen it, you can't shut the fuck up about it. | ||
| Because you're like, yo, wasn't it Johnny Knoxville? | ||
| Was it his? | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| It's just a really well done documentary. | ||
| Not just Freaky People, but it's all that bar. | ||
| That bar voice. | ||
| They got that bar voice. | ||
| It's intense. | ||
| Cigarettes and yelling. | ||
| Yeah, cigarettes, booze and yelling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| There's a sexiness to it, though. | ||
| There's definitely a, oh wow, that person has fun. | ||
| I like having a raspy voice, but also know that it's just damage, so I'm not super pumped about it at the same time. | ||
| I think people are really attracted to voices like that in general, though. | ||
| You listen to Otis Redding. | ||
| He's got a battered fucking voice. | ||
| Janis Joplin. | ||
| How about Bukowski? | ||
| I mean, that was half of his thing. | ||
| Born into this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you trust him. | ||
| That was half of his thing. | ||
| Like, oh, yeah. | ||
| But I also think it was his, like... | ||
| That's a good way of saying it. | ||
| It's like some people have that incredible ability to, like, channel their person through this incredible voice, like Bukowski or somebody like that. | ||
| And, like, you know, so they're easier to listen to. | ||
| Well, Bukowski's poems were always just raw and interesting, but they were nothing like when he read them. | ||
| Especially when you saw... | ||
| For him, he's one of the rare poets that I think that a visual aspect enhances it significantly. | ||
| I love one of my favorite... | ||
| There's a bunch of videos of him at, like, these readings. | ||
| And he would sit in front of these audiences and he would drink wine. | ||
| And he would get fucked up. | ||
| And if people would talk, he would yell at them, I'll come over there right now and I'll beat the fucking shit out of you. | ||
| He was this old drunk man. | ||
| And he really would have gone into the audience and fought people. | ||
| And then he would read this, like, really intense stuff that he wrote about life and mortality and his, you know... | ||
| Vision of humanity. | ||
| It's so hard to get people to care about poetry. | ||
| So I think that's how you do it. | ||
| You gotta kind of yell at them. | ||
| You're taking such a crazy chance to even say you wrote a poem. | ||
| You tell someone, hey, I wrote a poem. | ||
| Nobody goes, yeah, fucking awesome! | ||
| Bring it, dude! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bring that poem! | |
| Let's hear those feelings. | ||
| You know, most of the time when someone says, I wrote a poem, I'd like you to read it, like, no! | ||
| No! | ||
| Like, if someone says they have a song, I'm like, oh, I love songs. | ||
| If someone says, dude, I got the best joke, oh, I can't wait to hear it. | ||
| I got the best poem. | ||
| Don't get the fuck out of here. | ||
| The best poem is a chore. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The best! | |
| Oh, man. | ||
| Right? | ||
| The best poet is a bore, and the best poem is a chore. | ||
| The best. | ||
| The very best. | ||
| A little poetry right there, Joe. | ||
| Oh my god, did you just write a poem? | ||
| Rhyme. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| That's my work. | ||
| Don't lay that shit on us. | ||
| But when there is a visual element, it's amazing. | ||
| You know Spaulding Gray? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Fuck, that's incredible. | ||
| Didn't he commit suicide? | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But he did that Swimming in Cambodia stuff, and it's him just telling these stories, and it's really poetic. | ||
| But it's the storytelling element. | ||
| You know, and all of a sudden we want to listen to it. | ||
| I want to listen to it. | ||
| I think it's fucking cool. | ||
| How about Eric Bogosian? | ||
| I don't know who that dude is. | ||
| Yeah, he, I think, um, I think, yeah, Spaldinger did do that. | ||
| He was having some health issues, and he wound up killing himself. | ||
| But Eric Boghossian was a guy who... | ||
| Actually, he was doing more like one-man shows. | ||
| No, Boghossian was in a bunch of movies for a while. | ||
| But he actually did some acting, too. | ||
| But he did these one-man show things. | ||
| I want to say he was reading... | ||
| I want to say they were really well-done readings, too, that he did. | ||
| But Spaulding Gray was a guy who was more known for it, right? | ||
| Because he sat down at the table. | ||
| Yeah, he had this desk, and he even had a real theatrical vibe. | ||
| Lights would be going on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's sad when you hear about a guy like that killing himself. | ||
| Because you're like, fuck, dude. | ||
| You know, all those people liked you. | ||
| Was he very famous when he died? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, he was famous enough that we're talking about him. | ||
| Yeah, but in that community. | ||
| Yeah, in that community, I'm sure. | ||
| He was reasonably well-known, for sure. | ||
| And at the time, he had been on TV quite a bit, which is where Ben and I probably saw him first, right? | ||
| I saw him on the YouTube. | ||
| Because he had that series, like, who's the filmmaker? | ||
| He did a lot of concert films, and I can't remember his name right now. | ||
| But in the 60s, he was taking Hendrix footage, and he was taking a lot of festival footage in the 60s, which nobody was really doing at that time, or at least nowhere near what they're doing now. | ||
| Wait, this isn't like some of the rounder stuff. | ||
| No, that was way earlier. | ||
| Lomax? | ||
| That's not Lomax. | ||
| No. | ||
| He was more... | ||
| Walter Gray, I think his heyday was like the 80s, late 70s, 80s. | ||
| So it was like swimming to Cambodia was 87. But who's the guy who did that, who did the film? | ||
| What? | ||
| Cambodia? | ||
| Who directed it? | ||
| Let me see here. | ||
| Hold on, please. | ||
| Because he did this, I think, the Toronto Peace Festival, this fucking amazing... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jonathan Demi? | |
| Demi, yeah. | ||
| Nice work. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| You're faster than me, you bastard. | ||
| Did you look it up? | ||
| I have it, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was trying. | |
| It was about his participation in the movie The Killing Fields. | ||
| I didn't know that he had anything to do with that. | ||
| All these beautiful stories. | ||
| It's not much about the production. | ||
| It's about his experiences. | ||
| He just took shit. | ||
| He was an extreme or a radical liver. | ||
| And just a great storyteller. | ||
| Which is super rare, I think. | ||
| I mean, it seems like mainly that's kind of the comedian's realm now. | ||
| People don't give a shit about storytellers, but if you're a comedian, you can tell us a story. | ||
| Well, I think in a way, the problem is trying to sell this, just like we're talking about selling poetry. | ||
| Selling a guy who's doing a one-man show or a one-man story, it's hard. | ||
| But essentially, a lot of people's podcasts are like that. | ||
| Or stand-up. | ||
| I mean, stand-up. | ||
| Stand-up can be. | ||
| Same thing. | ||
| In a lot of ways, yeah. | ||
| But I think the idea about stand-up is, though, that you're going to try to be as self-indulgent, like, only... | ||
| You try to be as little self-indulgent as possible. | ||
| I mean, that's the wrong way of phrasing that. | ||
| But the least amount of self-indulgent humanly possible and the most amount of entertainment for the people that are listening. | ||
| So the most amount of self-deprecation, the most amount of laughs that you can get out of it, the most amount of humility and approaching the laugh so you don't make people uncomfortable. | ||
| There's all these variables in achieving the laugh. | ||
| And achieving the laugh is like the proof that you're on the same level and then they appreciate your sincerity and then you're funny and you're hilarious. | ||
| It's all working together. | ||
| So it's all like... | ||
| This dance that you're doing to achieve a result. | ||
| Whereas, you don't have to have a real result with one of these fucking things. | ||
| But it has to be gripping. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You would think. | ||
| But the amount that aren't, to get it to that polished diamond state requires a lot of discipline. | ||
| Sure, but you can see the same about stand-up, right? | ||
| But stand-up, you eat dick on stage. | ||
| It just balances it out. | ||
| It's just too hard. | ||
| The bombing is too hard on the soul. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You'll come around writing the best shit you can. | ||
| I really think there's a level of bravery in stand-up that is not really involved in music. | ||
| People just don't judge you the same way. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's a weird thing to quantify because I think there's a level of bravery in being a soldier that's a lot tougher than... | ||
| Sure, but none of those people are here. | ||
| We can go deeper and deeper, though. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| There's a level of bravery when Buck Rogers saved the earth. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I mean, there's always going to be... | ||
| Everybody makes their effort in a different way, you know? | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| If I had the physical structure to be a soldier and the brain power, emotional power. | ||
| Do you think you can go over and kick some ass for America? | ||
| I think I could, but I don't know if it would be for America as much as it would probably be to save myself, not to sound so selfish. | ||
| For Cincinnati. | ||
| I'm not into America. | ||
| I would do it for Cleveland. | ||
| Just parts of Ohio. | ||
| I would kick ass for Cleveland. | ||
| I don't know about all of America. | ||
| I'm just kidding. | ||
| Cincinnati and Cleveland, do they have a rivalry at all? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Are they going to hate on you now, next time you're there? | ||
| No. | ||
| Cincinnati's fine by me. | ||
| Cincinnati? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Look, look, look. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| It's really Kentucky. | ||
| Browns vs. | ||
| Bengals. | ||
| Browns vs. | ||
| Steelers. | ||
| Browns vs. | ||
| Ravens. | ||
| That's the trifecta of... | ||
| Of difficult times in that region of the country, but I'll be honest with you, I love playing in Pittsburgh, I love playing in Cincinnati, and every time I'll have fun, harmless banter about our sports teams. | ||
| I can't really say the same about Baltimore as much as, like Baltimore is a great town, but we only really went through there once, and we literally stopped to eat dinner and found crack on the ground. | ||
| This is bad PRC's. | ||
| We gotta build Baltimore back up. | ||
| I know, but we want to come play there. | ||
| Help us. | ||
| You're going to have to take some time. | ||
| Don't be a hero, okay? | ||
| We were talking about the amount of bravery it takes to be a comedian. | ||
| It takes more bravery to play Baltimore. | ||
| I had this guy, Michael Wood, who was a cop from Baltimore. | ||
| I had him on the podcast. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| He was a retired cop and a young guy, too. | ||
| He had just a massive shoulder injury. | ||
| His shoulder blew apart. | ||
| They put it back together and it blew apart again. | ||
| He had to retire. | ||
| But... | ||
| Very intelligent, articulate dude, and very compassionate, and outside of the police department now. | ||
| You know, still a young guy. | ||
| What was he, like 35 or something like that? | ||
| Maybe younger. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And you say blew apart. | |
| Did he get shot? | ||
| No. | ||
| I forget what the injury was, but he had to get shoulder reconstructive surgery, and then it still didn't take. | ||
| And it was like, his shoulder's fucked. | ||
| Like, he apparently was in a high-speed chase, and his shoulder just blew out while he was turning the steering wheel. | ||
| It's pretty fucked up. | ||
| But the point is, like, he was talking about how crazy Baltimore has always been. | ||
| They found some directives, I guess it was, from the police department from the 1970s. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| And he's like, me and these other cops are reading this, we're like, Jesus fucking Christ, we're running, we're chasing our tails. | ||
| Like, this is exactly the same places where the exact same crimes are going on. | ||
| No, there's a specific reason for that, and that's because there was, like, literal, like, constitutional, like, city ordinances. | ||
| Of segregation and consolidating these neighborhoods and having them be specifically black. | ||
| And you couldn't buy a house in a certain neighborhood if you were black, even if you had the money. | ||
| You know, it's the whole... | ||
| The whole tier is like they were just built to fail. | ||
| And the reason that crime was flourishing and thriving so much is because they didn't have a fucking chance. | ||
| I mean, it's like... | ||
| I listened to a NPR podcast a little while ago that explained how, was it the 60s boom? | ||
| It was post-war, post-World War II. Post-World War II. And they're making all these housing ordinances for the vets and things like that, and they're like, hey guys, welcome back. | ||
| You can't live here. | ||
| It's pretty brutal. | ||
| It's awful. | ||
| It is pretty awful. | ||
| I didn't even know about that until a few years ago. | ||
| Yeah, and it seemed like... | ||
| Do you remember who brought that up? | ||
| Someone brought that up on the podcast, and we were like, what? | ||
| And we had a look into it. | ||
| Do you remember who it was, Jimmy? | ||
| No? | ||
| It's the same with education, too. | ||
| I mean, it would be like all of these, you know, schools that just wouldn't let intelligent African Americans in, and you wouldn't get the education that you wanted or deserved or, you know, could achieve. | ||
| And it was just like, you know, you're kind of stuck in this box, which is those neighborhoods. | ||
| You know, they were made for that. | ||
| It's so fucked up. | ||
| Well, there's so many levels to the whole thing. | ||
| Like, first of all, the level of overcoming slavery. | ||
| Like, you ever heard a white guy say, God, it was so long ago, fucking get over it. | ||
| You know, I've heard white guys say that, and you go, okay. | ||
| It's not that long. | ||
| Less than 100 years before what she was just talking about. | ||
| Yeah, it seems like it was long. | ||
| Like, I have a 1965 Corvette. | ||
| When that Corvette, when it was made, 100 years before that, almost exactly, slavery was abolished. | ||
| That's fucking crazy! | ||
| That's crazy! | ||
| That's insane! | ||
| That might be one of the most bizarre things. | ||
| 100 years is not... | ||
| My wife's mom died recently, and she was 97. Like, she was 100 years old. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So, from the time that she died to, like, realistically, she could have been alive while fucking slavery was happening. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, it's realistic. | ||
| That's no good. | ||
| Like, that amount of age, you could have someone from 1965, and if they were that age, they could remember fucking slavery. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| That was terrible. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| That's like when I was born. | ||
| I was born in 67. So I was born two years after that. | ||
| Like that is, to me, when I put it in those terms, like the generational terms, it was yesterday. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
People had slaves yesterday. | |
| And they still do some places now. | ||
| I mean, this is just our country. | ||
| It's going on all the time. | ||
| We were just talking about nail salons. | ||
| Something that we found out that's really disturbing is that, you know, there's like a dime a dozen nail salons in New York City or places like, you know, L.A. where it's really cheap to get your toes and your fucking ears painted. | ||
| Which feels really good, by the way. | ||
| There's this, like... | ||
| Wow, you're so... | ||
| Keep it going. | ||
| You're so put together. | ||
| By the way, you are missing a button and I can see your belly button. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| You just let it breathe. | ||
| Anyone have a problem with that in here? | ||
| I don't have a problem with that. | ||
| No, but these nail salons, they bring in men and women from, you know, Thailand, Vietnam, and they're like indentured servants and they make them work and they don't pay them and they live in these, like, apartments with, like, 15 people sleeping in one room. | ||
| Like, it's all this shit. | ||
| Guys, how are we going to fix this shit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm? | |
| Yeah, how do they fix that? | ||
| It's a really good question. | ||
| I think in this, like, what you can control, for sure, first, is in this country. | ||
| You know, I mean, things like what we talked about before the show about my friend Justin Wren and all these little artifacts he brought back from the Congo. | ||
| Like, that guy's, like, changing things in, like, real time. | ||
| But, like, in this country, I think there's a bunch of things that could be done that are just not done. | ||
| And one of the major ones is they have to treat really poor neighborhoods not like a static reality that has just, this is what it is, this is a really poor neighborhood. | ||
| They have to put it like it's a problem, like a wildfire. | ||
| Like, here, you got a wildfire. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| Are you just going to let it burn and just get out of the way? | ||
| Or are you going to put it out? | ||
| You have a problem. | ||
| Your electricity is down. | ||
| You have a water main broke. | ||
| There's a problem. | ||
| But those have such direct solutions. | ||
| That's what's so difficult about it. | ||
| Put water on a fire, it's going to go out. | ||
| God, the implications of all that stuff is so crazy. | ||
| I think they should admit, first and foremost, that a horrible crime has been done. | ||
| In places like Baltimore, what Michael Wood described it as institutionalized racism. | ||
| And we talk about the zones where people lived. | ||
| It's hard to argue against that. | ||
| And then you have to feel... | ||
| Then you have to think about, like, what is the best way to help people out of this? | ||
| What's the best way to engineer, like, a more crime-free, safer, more educated and aware, and a more... | ||
| How these people feel like they belong a part of the rest of the city. | ||
| How to do that without engendering. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's collective efforts. | |
| I'm really glad we're talking about this because I think this kind of thing keeps me up at night when I think about, fuck, what can I do? | ||
| What can we do? | ||
| You should write a poem about it. | ||
| People want to hear it. | ||
| Listen, motherfucker. | ||
| I'll write a poem right now. | ||
| That could be the start. | ||
| But things like, Joe, your podcast are... | ||
| Your fucking podcast. | ||
| Your fucking podcast. | ||
| I'm serious, though. | ||
| This kind of thing is part of that collective effort. | ||
| As giving people that first grain of thought of like, oh, wow, I never knew that there were zoning laws in Baltimore and inner cities that... | ||
| It made it really hard for black people to get ahead in life, that they had no scholarships. | ||
| The changes that need to take place, like we don't have some kind of solution, like this think tank, but you have this platform. | ||
| Where you can start talking about it and informing people. | ||
| And, you know, when I get really worked up and think about, like, what can we do? | ||
| You know, we have this band that is growing and getting attention. | ||
| And, you know, you have these opportunities to sit here and talk to somebody like you, and people are listening. | ||
| And, you know, you hope that that starts more another train of thought that can actually make some kind of difference. | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| I think people are already having these conversations, and one of the things that they love about podcasts like this is because, you know, you go, yes, other people are thinking like this too. | ||
| Like, people are wondering, how did we get to be grown adults with this chaotic system in place that was established by people who, you know, when you go back to the origins of civilization, even just in this country, which is like a really recent country, those people were monsters! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Those people that came here on boats, they were monsters. | |
| You ever read what Columbus had done? | ||
| Oh my god, they were monsters. | ||
| What they did to those people. | ||
| Yeah, that's fucked up. | ||
| I just read this book about... | ||
| The first, like, the first interactions between the West, or England mainly, or Europe and Japan, you know, and the journeys that these people would have to go through to trade, to make contact with these countries. | ||
| And, I mean, it's the way they looked at the world then was the way we look at the universe now. | ||
| It's just like, I don't know what's over there. | ||
| I have no idea what's going on. | ||
| There's things jutting, there's icebergs jutting out of the water and monsters that eat people, like, and cannibals and shit. | ||
| Like, that was real. | ||
| You know, so it's like this super, I think, It's a climate of defensiveness that we all, just as a person, you grow up kind of trying to defend yourself against the environment. | ||
| At an extremely high level. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And then back then... | ||
| It always takes... | ||
| Oh, sorry, go ahead. | ||
| There's just a layer of danger that, at least where we are, You're not accustomed to. | ||
| You're going around the world being like, holy fuck, where am I? I don't want to get killed. | ||
| 50% of my men just died. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know what I'm trying to say other than the context is so different. | ||
| It's a totally different world. | ||
| That's why it's insane to have our civilization run the way it's run now just because it's been done this way for 100 plus, 200 plus, whatever years. | ||
| If we wanted to start out today, how many people do you think would accept an electoral college? | ||
| How many people would accept the idea that you actually just elect a representative, and that representative can actually, like, he can choose to vote against the wishes of the rest of the state. | ||
| Like, you can, you have, like, electoral college, and then you have, when each state has a certain amount of points that go in, and you watch the, when you watch the vote, like, they're like, how many votes is what? | ||
| And what's going on? | ||
| The numbers are in, and what the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| And then you find out, especially during the George Bush days, that they were still doing it with a piece of paper. | ||
| With a hole in a piece of paper. | ||
| What the fuck, Chad? | ||
| Wasn't that like the 90s when the election was recalled? | ||
| Because they had a recount. | ||
| Well, to this day, people still believe Al Gore won. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's a lot of people that believe he won and that they fucked him out of Florida. | ||
| And there's also, like, the Republicans that did some weird shit where they, like, they crossed people's names out and banned them if they thought they were black. | ||
| And then they would have to prove that they weren't the person that was off this list of, like, felons or, you know, like, sometimes people—Jimmy White. | ||
| There's a lot of fucking Jimmy Whites, man. | ||
| If you're Jimmy White and you live in Baltimore and there's a thousand of the Jimmy Whites and 20 of them have been to jail, good luck getting registered to vote. | ||
| They're going to put you on a fucking list and then you have to go to court to make sure that you can vote. | ||
| It takes too much time. | ||
| They're not going to do it. | ||
| No one's going to do it. | ||
| They don't have the time for that and they know that and so they rigged it, which is just dark. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| Un-American. | ||
| The system is flawed. | ||
| I mean, there's just no fucking two ways around it. | ||
| I just don't think it needs to be here anymore. | ||
| I think it's like one of those things like, you need to write books on paper with ink. | ||
| You need a quill. | ||
| And you need to sit by a candlelight. | ||
| Oh, it's super antiquated. | ||
| No, you don't need to sit by a candlelight. | ||
| You don't need to write with a feather. | ||
| You can talk and your computer will dictate it. | ||
| We're in a new world, and this world of, it's hard to get information across the states, so you need a representative, you want to make sure that every area, even the high population areas, they don't dominate the rural farmlands, so we need to have some sort of a system where people give a fuck about Iowa. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's really what it is. | |
| But that's only in place because it was all established when people were apes. | ||
| They were raft-riding apes with no cars. | ||
| They didn't have phones. | ||
| They didn't know where the fuck you went. | ||
| When you went out of sight, if you went into the woods, they thought you were a dream. | ||
| People didn't even know if they ever really did know you. | ||
| They didn't know. | ||
| If they fucking really knew for sure that you were coming back, they'd make a painting of you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn! | |
| Think about that. | ||
| They had fucking paintings! | ||
| That was it! | ||
| That was it! | ||
| Paintings and writing shit. | ||
| The wall in the cave was like an eight track. | ||
| We were just in Old Town San Diego yesterday. | ||
| We played in San Diego yesterday afternoon. | ||
| I love San Diego. | ||
| God, I love it down there. | ||
| It's pretty charming. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I was so hungry, and I was walking by and passing, but they had costumed San Diego settlers, but they looked like pirates. | ||
| And they were walking through the streets, and people were freaking out. | ||
| They were like, well, there were like two big buses of tourists going crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, God damn it, everybody calm down. | |
| It's just a guy with a cape on. | ||
| Fucking slow your roll. | ||
| But it was funny. | ||
| Well, just kind of piggybacking on what we're talking about. | ||
| I'm thoroughly obsessed with frontier shows like Deadwood, and I'm watching Hell on Wheels right now. | ||
| I just got into this show, Hell on Wheels. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| It's on AMC, and it's really well written. | ||
| I'm only in season two, so I don't know what happens after this, guys. | ||
| I don't know if this is a poor statement, but it's still going, so that says something about it. | ||
| What is it about? | ||
| It's about this railroad that's being built. | ||
| It's incredible to be privy to that day and age where it's so wild. | ||
| It's so lawless. | ||
| Everybody is just barely staying alive. | ||
| Indians are coming in, killing you and slaughtering you. | ||
| You're taking over their shit. | ||
| And it's really, for some reason, it just cuts right to my soul. | ||
| I can't not be just totally enamored and enthralled by it. | ||
| It's interesting to think about, because that also wasn't that long ago. | ||
| No. | ||
| The frontier days when the country focused solely on this one thing together, building this country. | ||
| Well, maybe not together, because there's so many immigrants and so many people that were like... | ||
| Isolated and but the point is that like it's interesting to witness Everyone fighting their battle, you know, but there's these great parts of the show when They all have to come together for a common purpose like there's robbers robbing the train that gets them their pay And if they don't get their pay they're broke, you know, so there's like this interesting camaraderie and then their enemies and then and And that's kind of how it is in real life, which is interesting to think about because we're all so different. | ||
| And when you have these efforts, and I don't want to say common enemy because that sounds really negative, but when you're all working towards something with your differences, that's when actual progress starts being made. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's always a good scene in a movie, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's a good scene in a movie. | ||
| You shake hands with the neighbors to fight the monsters. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And you cover Mel Gibson getting along all of a sudden. | |
| It's the truth. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| We're watching Terminator, fucking Terminator 2. Isn't that really why we get so angry and offended when people whine and bitch today? | ||
| Because you're like, good fucking lord, you live in the best time ever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know, it's just Society's going to shit, man. | ||
| No, it's good to be humble. | ||
| The world is fucking falling apart, okay? | ||
| No one has any values anymore. | ||
| I mean, no one values culture or art. | ||
| Will you please stop saying that, everyone? | ||
| We're just dealing with overwhelming numbers of people yelling in a room. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| It's not that there's not as much or way more interesting shit in that noise. | ||
| It's just there's so many fucking people communicating now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's crazy. | |
| It's the whole rule The whole game is a different thing. | ||
| Everyone talks now. | ||
| Everyone! | ||
| You know what's super cool is getting people outside of their comfort zone and watching how they deal with it in a way that... | ||
| So my folks live in Ohio. | ||
| Pretty Republican. | ||
| But they're really good people, and they're fucking hilarious. | ||
| And they came out to five shows in Colorado on this last tour that we had. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-oh. | |
| Contact time. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Joe, it was so fun. | ||
| We came so close to smoking weed. | ||
| So close. | ||
| So my dad just retired. | ||
| There was like a ginger backing out of the room. | ||
| We'll show us there to help. | ||
| It was so fun. | ||
| My dad's got a super thick Cleveland accent. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's like, if I'm going to smoke pot with my daughter and it's legal, I'm going to do it. | |
| And I was just like, dad. | ||
| But you didn't do it, Ray. | ||
| And I was like, well, it ain't no 70s dirt weed. | ||
| I mean, I was like, Ray, look. | ||
| Ray, you've got to take it slow, son. | ||
| Talk about what you're getting into. | ||
| You've got to make sure a guy like that doesn't drown. | ||
| But I want to tell you this fucking cool thing, which was that, like, you know, I love my parents so much, and they're really incredible people, and I've watched them grow in this way that, like, they're always changing. | ||
| And even though they have, like, their beliefs, and my dad has worked his fucking ass off his entire life, you know, and he's a, you know, middle-class business owner, just retired, so he's got this, you know, this view on life. | ||
| And then we... | ||
| We put him in Colorado, and they caravaned for five shows, and we had lunch with these incredible people, this judge, this lawyer, and these kind of liberal, hippie politicians in Colorado. | ||
| We were sitting at a table with my parents, and it was so cool to watch them interact with people that they would never hang out with. | ||
| And then watch them sort of, like, lay back and have, like, just, like, absorb this information that's not something that they wouldn't, that they would have on a regular basis. | ||
| And so they left, and it was such an interesting, like, I really felt our relationship change a little bit after that. | ||
| You know, and just watching them let loose. | ||
| My dad really wanted to smoke weed, but it just never worked up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't think he actually wanted to. | |
| No, he did, but he had to drive, and that was responsible, because he would have been fucked up. | ||
| Do you think, like, as you've gotten more successful and as you've gotten older, your dad can look at you not just as his daughter, but also as an adult human being where he respects your opinion? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, no, we're very, um... | |
| No, we have a really incredible relationship. | ||
| Wait, what did you say? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I said meal ticket. | |
| I was joking. | ||
| Oh, you're such a dick. | ||
| He said it's so subtle. | ||
| We're not there yet, though. | ||
| Well, yeah, we will. | ||
| Meal ticket. | ||
| No, I would love to take care of them. | ||
| What's wrong with that? | ||
| No, that's beautiful. | ||
| But I mean, you're a woman now, and you're like a professional singer of the utmost respect. | ||
| People love your shit. | ||
| So it's like he goes to see you, and he sees her. | ||
| He sees his daughter on stage. | ||
| Wailing out these songs and people going nuts you don't think that must make him think like hold I gotta I gotta Appreciate like what it took to do that I have to appreciate what's happening here like this isn't just my daughter She doesn't just have to listen to me. | ||
| She's not like I'm not right about everything I can't be right about everything cuz I can't do that no we he's both my mom and my dad are really they Their support is beyond anything I ever could have wanted. | ||
| I moved to New York City when I was 16 because I used to be a catalog model and I was doing really well. | ||
| I was starting my junior year of high school and I was really fucking driven. | ||
| I had no inhibitions and I was like, I want to go here and I want to go here. | ||
| Do you guys think I can do that? | ||
| And they're like, yeah. | ||
| And they let me move there when I was 16. And it was fucking crazy. | ||
| And it honestly was one of those, I think, kind of pivotal moments where it was their belief in the fact that I could do what I wanted because they were like, I think you have something special, you know, which is like a really incredible feeling to have. | ||
| And they were always behind me. | ||
| And like, yeah, we fight. | ||
| I mean, my family's really close, so we fight hard. | ||
| There's a lot of yelling. | ||
| I grew up with a lot of yelling. | ||
| She's got your dad high. | ||
| That's all I'm hearing here. | ||
| I know, I know. | ||
| I'm hearing a lot of fucking memory lane. | ||
| I should have got my dad high. | ||
| Yeah, oh my God. | ||
| There's always a future. | ||
| Yeah, this is going to happen at some point. | ||
| It's going to have to. | ||
| And we'll talk all about it. | ||
| Yeah, you just got to baby fuck them. | ||
| What did she just say? | ||
| Excuse me? | ||
| Slow. | ||
| Baby steps. | ||
| Can we find another metaphor? | ||
| It's baby steps. | ||
| Baby steps. | ||
| There was another word in there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I'm saying, though. | ||
| It got across. | ||
| Even though it sounds like an inappropriate statement, but you know what I'm saying. | ||
| Slow and sure. | ||
| Slow and sharp. | ||
| Kind of innocent. | ||
| Just a little puff. | ||
| It's going to happen. | ||
| I know that Ray had a thing with Quaaludes in the 70s. | ||
| Well, that's a problem too, right? | ||
| You start thinking, like, I don't want to be that loser again. | ||
| Take you down the tunnel, I'm sure. | ||
| Well, you also realize, hey, this doesn't go with success. | ||
| This doesn't help me get my shit together and not be psychologically terrified most of the day. | ||
| Looking around for my next fix, Quaaludes. | ||
| It's nice to know that they were human, though. | ||
| Like, my mom used to smoke weed. | ||
| My dad used to, you know, smoke weed. | ||
| Well, Ben, we're going to do this. | ||
| Ben, can we get your dad high? | ||
| I think that's a bad idea. | ||
| Or it might be amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| My dad's 94. Oh, it'd be perfect. | ||
| What are you holding back? | ||
| Cancer? | ||
| What are you worried about? | ||
| He's had that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
94 is the home stretch. | |
| Man, maybe you're right. | ||
| 94 is the home stretch. | ||
| He might freak the fuck out. | ||
| No, but he might ease slowly into the great beyond, too. | ||
| Like a gay-year-old man to go from pot to mushrooms. | ||
| They say that mushrooms is a significant reliever of the stress of worrying about the expectations of any guy. | ||
| I'm so glad you just said it. | ||
| I've never even thought about it. | ||
| With him. | ||
| But he has anxiety. | ||
| He's freaked out. | ||
| He's staring at the void, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For real. | |
| He's seeing his body deteriorate. | ||
| All these things happen, and I get the anxiety from him. | ||
| It's a real issue with people, man. | ||
| You know, when we were kids and we would see what we would call, in quotes, the angry old man, you know? | ||
| Get out of my yard, you fucking kids! | ||
| And we always thought, like, God, this guy's such a downer. | ||
| Everybody has them. | ||
| Every neighborhood has a guy. | ||
| The dude in my neighborhood poisoned the cats. | ||
| He was an evil motherfucker. | ||
| Yeah, he put rat poison and killed a bunch of cats. | ||
| I forgot his name. | ||
| He's long gone, though. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Every neighborhood has, like, old people that are angry. | ||
| And one of the things they're angry at is, like, the vitality of their vessel is eroding before their eyes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And you just get caught up in this shit. | ||
| And that's when you meet old people that hate young people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, that was Elizabeth Bathory, I think it was. | ||
| Is that her name? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| One of the most evil women of all time. | ||
| She was a royal... | ||
| Let me pull up a story. | ||
| Is this in New Orleans or is it a crazy chick in New Orleans? | ||
| That was a long time ago. | ||
| No, it was in, like, I want to say Hungary. | ||
| But she's, like, one of the most famous serial killers of all time. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| And what she started doing after she started getting older, she started killing all these young women that were in the town. | ||
| And she would bathe in their blood. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| She would torture them. | ||
| Yeah, it was in the 1500s in Hungary. | ||
| 1560. What was her name? | ||
| Elizabeth Bathory. | ||
| Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about. | ||
| She apparently was, like, attractive when she was younger, and as she got older, her appearance faded. | ||
| That's like Sleeping Beauty, or Snow White, kind of. | ||
| Yeah, in a way. | ||
| I mean, it's a scary fucking story, because she was a royal. | ||
| She was a very wealthy royal person. | ||
| She could do what she wanted. | ||
| She could get away with it. | ||
| Her punishment was just stay in your castle. | ||
| Yeah, she killed a lot of people. | ||
| It might have been hundreds of women or something ridiculous. | ||
| Oh yeah, it was hundreds. | ||
| And they just made her stay in her castle. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| That was the punishment. | ||
| I think she had a special room that she had to stay in. | ||
| In her castle. | ||
| So it's kind of jail, I guess. | ||
| But, I mean, she still had her money. | ||
| She still had her servants. | ||
| Well, isn't that interesting? | ||
| Like, that's kind of how it is now, just in a very different way. | ||
| Like, people that are on top can get away with so much. | ||
| Like, this fucking... | ||
| Have you seen the Robert Durst stuff on HBO? Yeah, I haven't seen it, but I know about it. | ||
| He's gotten... | ||
| Pretty far, one would say. | ||
| And now he's kind of fucked himself and it's looking like, hopefully, fingers crossed, you know, he'll... | ||
| Yeah, he's going to go to jail, right? | ||
| He's in jail. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, he's going to... | |
| He should be dead. | ||
| He will be. | ||
| He will be soon. | ||
| So apparently I was incorrect. | ||
| She, at the end of her life, they put her in solitary confinement. | ||
| So she was in a castle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But she was placed in solitary. | ||
| She was kept bricked into a set of rooms with only small slits left open for ventilation and the passing of food. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| She remained there for four years until her death. | ||
| So she was psychotic anyway, and then they put her in a black room. | ||
| She was a rich monster. | ||
| That's what she was. | ||
| She was a privileged, rich monster. | ||
| And at the end, she was such a monster. | ||
| When they found what she had done, they found the bones of these hundreds of women, and they knew that she had been doing it forever, and the servants knew, and she'd bring girls in, and they would be screaming, and she would cut them up in front of everybody and tie them up and, like, fill tubs with their blood and throw their bodies aside. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's disgusting. | |
| But she did it for a long fucking time. | ||
| There was a woman in New Orleans, too. | ||
| A famous woman in New Orleans is a house you can go to. | ||
| She was just a member of the aristocracy. | ||
| Wait, was that on American Horror Story? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But it's just like a famous story. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God, it's so scary. | |
| We're going to be in New Orleans soon. | ||
| You want to go? | ||
| No, me either. | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| Not interested in that. | ||
| It's just so scary. | ||
| It's so scary where people can get to if they have a position of ultimate power, if they have a slave, if they have royalty. | ||
| You've seen what's going on in Los Angeles with all these guys from the Middle East that keep doing crazy things and they're getting arrested and they're claiming diplomatic immunity. | ||
| Like that's Lethal Weapon, bringing it back to Lethal Weapon. | ||
| Sorry, but that was like a big part of that movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Was that like the South American African guy? | |
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| Where did you get that from? | ||
| Where are you pulling these details from? | ||
| Love that movie. | ||
| There's been a bunch of them lately. | ||
| One guy was, the two guys fled the country because they were racing through Beverly Hills. | ||
| Oh, I did hear about that. | ||
| And they tried to claim diplomatic immunity, and they just... | ||
| Fucking douchebags. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| From Qatari, Q-A-T-R-I, whatever the fuck that is. | ||
| One of those. | ||
| Strange. | ||
| Probably not even, you know, they don't even use the English language. | ||
| So, like, their letters are different than our letters. | ||
| So, when we write something, like, really awful, like Q-T-A-R-I or something like that, that's our fuck-up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not... | |
| They don't even use our, like, why do we make it so, you know, why does it have to be such a weird fucking spelling? | ||
| It's the tools we got. | ||
| But that's wrong. | ||
| Say it, like, what does it sound like, bitch? | ||
| Write it like that. | ||
| Why is it so hard? | ||
| Tell me what it sounds like. | ||
| I'll write it in my own language. | ||
| We need some new letters. | ||
| We're fine. | ||
| We just gotta stop talking to people that use phlegm. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| You're talking to a Jew, brother. | ||
| Do something, man. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| He's not listening to me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I lost him. | |
| I lost him. | ||
| Gone on some sort of rant. | ||
| That was back when people worked on farms a lot. | ||
| You know you actually just said a lot of things, right? | ||
| They had a lot of milk. | ||
| You said some really beautiful things right there. | ||
| They ate a lot of cheese. | ||
| It was a big part of their diet. | ||
| There was a lot of phlegm in the air back then. | ||
| Sure, sure. | ||
| People were super phlegmy. | ||
| It goes back to what we were talking about before. | ||
| Human voice. | ||
| That can do some crazy shit. | ||
| You can do some crazy shit with this. | ||
| Have you seen there's a video of a girl who can sing two pitches at the same time? | ||
| Yeah, it's fucked up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah, and she can move them in opposite directions. | ||
| She can hold one, move another one. | ||
| Like, she's just using her body. | ||
| I'll look it up. | ||
| How is she? | ||
| Well, Jamie will do it. | ||
| I'll pull it up. | ||
| Put your headset on. | ||
| There's a word for it. | ||
| He'll find it. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| Well, there's Tuvan throat singing in Mongolia where they're activating all these overtones. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| And people are literally singing chords. | ||
| No, but the woman you're talking about, there's a specific word for it. | ||
| Is it like tonal or something? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Polyphonic overtone? | |
| Thank you. | ||
| Wait, Samsonite. | ||
| Singing, but more than one? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I'm trying guys, doing my best here. | ||
| So do you think that this is something that she was born with, this ability? | ||
| Well, we can all do it. | ||
| We could do it. | ||
| We all have the equipment. | ||
| It's like perfect pitch. | ||
| You know what perfect pitch is? | ||
| No. | ||
| So perfect pitch is the ability to just recognize frequencies as per the musical alphabet. | ||
| So if I went like this... | ||
| B flat. | ||
| You would know, oh, that's a G, because I know the sound of that frequency. | ||
| And we're all born with this. | ||
| But for the most part, it's not really useful, so we just kind of phase it out. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But some people develop it, or for some weird kind of developmental reason, they hold on to it. | ||
| And if you're a musician, super, can be super helpful. | ||
| But this chick, she's just doing what we can all do, but she's just developed it. | ||
| Let's hear it. | ||
| The lady and the cat, yes! | ||
| She's kind of a babe, too. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| You hear those pitches? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's incredible. | |
| Holy shit. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| It goes on for minutes. | ||
| See, the control she has is incredible. | ||
| Oh my gosh, she has an English accent? | ||
| It's not English. | ||
|
unidentified
|
In my mind, it's perfect. | |
| Wow. | ||
| So is this something that she developed? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huh. | |
| You can do it, Joe. | ||
| I believe in you. | ||
| I don't believe in me. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Isn't it beautiful? | ||
| Support takes us so far. | ||
| Yeah, I just, that's insane. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Have you heard Tubin throat singing? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's a Mongolian thing. | ||
| It's a super traditional thing. | ||
| Here's the thing, though. | ||
| Right now it's a novelty because that doesn't sound as good as someone singing awesome. | ||
| So it's kind of silly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, I can sort of agree. | |
| That was more like the introductory. | ||
| That would be like you being like, this is how you sweep the knee. | ||
| I don't really know the terminology. | ||
| Sweep the knee. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sorry, Joe. | |
| Joe, look, our friendship is on a different level, but at some point I really hope you can teach me the martial arts ways. | ||
| Would you teach us? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can you actually? | |
| Sure. | ||
| Yeah, I would show you guys some stuff. | ||
| I don't have the time to spend to really train you. | ||
| But no, this is why I'm going to say this. | ||
| Because if you really want to learn martial arts, martial arts is not something that you're ever going to get good by dabbling. | ||
| You're going to have to get obsessed with it. | ||
| Well, that's fine. | ||
| And then you're going to have to do it all the time. | ||
| And I don't have the time to teach you all the time. | ||
| I'm good at obsessing over things. | ||
| We'll find others, dude. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| But what I would do is I would introduce you guys to some movement and some techniques. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Great. | |
| And I would show you what your body's possible of if you understood where to put it. | ||
| And simple stuff. | ||
| There's simple stuff that you can do, especially jujitsu. | ||
| Jujitsu is one of the easiest ones for me to explain to someone because I can explain to you in a way that I get my kids to do it. | ||
| Like, my kids choke me all the time. | ||
| Trying to teach my kids to utilize their hips properly, to throw their weight into a kick, like there's a snap with your hip. | ||
| That shit's dance, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I do know that. | |
| It's amazing. | ||
| In a way. | ||
| It totally is. | ||
| And that's why you give me the poem face. | ||
| Well, it is in a way. | ||
| It is in a way in the same way that we were talking about pool is in a way. | ||
| It's just movement. | ||
| We'll call it that. | ||
| Well, when it's nice, right? | ||
| When it's nice. | ||
| When it's nice to look at. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like when someone's dancing, it's nice to look at. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's beautiful. | |
| When I think about guitar, that's a huge reason why I want to take martial arts is because of how it would impact playing the guitar, playing an instrument, doing anything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because all of a sudden your efficiency, your movement changes and you're capable of different stuff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think everything is like that. | ||
| I think if you watch like a little kid's gymnastics class, I take my kids to gymnastics and I watch these little kids bounce around and it's very interesting watching like someone nail something. | ||
| You know, like there's these girls that are older, you know, probably like 12 or 13 or something along those lines, and they're like just starting to figure out how to do backflips, and they're just starting to figure out how to land gracefully. | ||
| And then there's girls that are even older than that, like maybe 16 and 17, that are just wicked. | ||
| You watch them flip through the air, and you're like, Jesus! | ||
| Fuck! | ||
| And there's some young boys that do these crazy ring exercises where they can stretch their arms straight. | ||
| And they bring their feet up above their head and they flip over and they do a handstand. | ||
| I mean, it's nuts, right? | ||
| There's something about watching someone nail movement, you know? | ||
| It's just like, It's inspiring. | ||
| Yeah, it's guitar, someone shredding, it's someone doing a drum solo. | ||
| And it impacts everything. | ||
| So I love to play drums. | ||
| And I've played a lot when I was a kid, less now, but basically I've narrowed my practice down to one thing. | ||
| One thing, and I feel pretty fine about it. | ||
| You know, I feel like with that one kind of concept, I can get where I want to go, which is have any of my limbs do what any of my other limbs can do. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| If my left hand can do it, my right foot has to be able to do it, my left foot can do it, vice versa. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It has to not matter. | ||
| You have to be able to make the sound you want to make. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| And when I was doing that, I would notice myself. | ||
| All of a sudden, I'd be eating with my left hand. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I wouldn't even think about it. | ||
| I started shooting basketballs with my left hand. | ||
| I didn't even know. | ||
| Were you making the shot? | ||
| Yeah, do you have this fucking... | ||
| No, I mean, I'd miss the shot horribly. | ||
| You know, I think of drums as a person who doesn't know how to play any musical instruments. | ||
| I think of drums as sculpture. | ||
| This is what I think. | ||
| When I watch a heavy-duty drum solo, I think half of what this guy has to do is get away from whatever restrictions his body has on his movements. | ||
| Like, half of what a drummer is doing, it's so physical. | ||
| There's so much speed and coordination involved that half of what you're doing is heightening your ability to move in, like, the exact way you want it to move to create a certain sound. | ||
| And a guy like me, I can't do it. | ||
| You know, if I brought that... | ||
| I mean, I could eventually, I'm sure, learn how to play drums, but I'm saying, like, if I brought someone into my world and made them do something that I do physically all the time, like... | ||
| Like an odd thing, like play pool or something like that. | ||
| If they didn't know how to play pool, it would be real awkward and goofy, and their body wouldn't move right. | ||
| But if they know where the fucking stick is going, Even though I don't know how to do it. | ||
| Like, I see this... | ||
| It's half of what he's doing is trying to cut down on the amount of resistance in his body listening to his mind to make the sound. | ||
| It's the same thing with any instruments. | ||
| A guitar, a violin, or whatever. | ||
| It's just on a micro level. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| It's just more contained. | ||
| And that's why I think martial arts, dude, once we do that, we'll fucking take over the world. | ||
| Can you come on the road with us? | ||
| Yeah, and we'll give you jump lessons. | ||
| That'd be hard to do, but we could do more shows like we're doing New Year's Eve! | ||
| Whoa, damn! | ||
| That's how we plug around this, bitch. | ||
| If you guys want to go to that show, there is not many tickets left. | ||
| I'll just tell you right now, it's not even October, what is it, September 28th or something today? | ||
| What is it today? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| 28th. | ||
| But it's a crazy show. | ||
| It's Honey Honey, it's Joey Diaz, Duncan Trussell, Ari Shafir, and me at the Wiltern in Los Angeles. | ||
| Guys, bring it in 2016. We're ready. | ||
| We were here for the end of the world that didn't happen. | ||
| I think maybe because of us. | ||
| Good work, Joe. | ||
| I think the show with you, me, and Stan Hope, and Diaz might have been so epic. | ||
| It was some valiant efforts. | ||
| You said this podcast is changing things. | ||
| I think the universe said, let's give these dumb monkeys a chance. | ||
| They pulled together a pretty dope end of the mind calendar show. | ||
| But it was so fun, and we said, ah, we gotta do more of those. | ||
| We fucking never did. | ||
| We're doing it, dude. | ||
| We didn't for three years. | ||
| This is three years from the last one we did. | ||
| It's nice to have something to wait for. | ||
| Shit's been simmering. | ||
| Yeah, that marinara's gonna be ripe. | ||
| Yeah, no wine before it's time. | ||
| Remember Orson Welles? | ||
| He used to do those commercials. | ||
| I don't remember that. | ||
| But I remember no women before the fight, Rocky. | ||
| The legs, the legs. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| But you probably saw that on YouTube. | ||
| I saw it in the movie theater back when there was no newspapers. | ||
| Back when people were sending messages on pigeons and shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| They had smoke signals if something was wrong. | ||
| That's when I saw it. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Lots changed. | ||
| What were you saying that you saw on YouTube? | ||
| You were talking about something that you'd seen on YouTube. | ||
| Spaulding Gray. | ||
| Yeah, Spaulding Gray. | ||
| See, I saw that guy on television, actual television, and I think he did movies. | ||
| He did. | ||
| He did some short films, too, and great. | ||
| I think he did movies of his storytelling. | ||
| That's what he brought, Jonathan Demme. | ||
| Shot this Swimming in Cambodia thing, which is a film. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| So it was in the movie theaters. | ||
| In my mind, for whatever reason, it was on HBO or something like that. | ||
| But I guess that's not entirely correct. | ||
| I think it actually was a movie theater. | ||
| I was trying to... | ||
| Yeah, I really was. | ||
| The cubes. | ||
| Refill, guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Yeah, I think it's about time for round two. | ||
| Let's do that. | ||
| You know, we were talking about old people earlier, and it's interesting because, speaking of alcohol, there's so many things. | ||
| Oh, Joe, you never put the glass in the ice. | ||
| Bartending rule. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, it's your bowels. | |
| If the glass breaks, you'd get new ice. | ||
| He's got a solution, but say when. | ||
| Say when. | ||
| Oh, that's good. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| So many lessons. | ||
| There are solutions out there, folks. | ||
| I think about old people a lot when I get, like, you wake up and you have a stiff neck and you're like, fuck. | ||
| And you're miserable and you're like crotchety because your neck hurts or your shoulder or whatever from the van or whatever we're doing on tour. | ||
| And then I'm like, this must be what it's like to be old. | ||
| No, except like a hundred times worse. | ||
| A hundred times worse. | ||
| Like you have ailments all day. | ||
| You might not have pooped for four days. | ||
| You know what blows my mind? | ||
| It's the balance thing. | ||
| So my dad has neuropathy. | ||
| So that means he's losing the feeling of his feet. | ||
| That's before we get into that. | ||
| Are you having another drink? | ||
| I was going to say that weed. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| Ben's going deep. | ||
| It's going to be bad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Weed is like cocaine for Ben. | |
| And cocaine is like cocaine for me. | ||
| Here's a fun fact. | ||
| Can I tell you guys something funny? | ||
| While Ben pours himself a drink, Ben, pour your drink. | ||
| You want to cheers with that? | ||
| You don't have any booze in there, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ben, you're making everybody look terrible. | |
| Don't be scared. | ||
| You're totally being peer pressured. | ||
| But it's working. | ||
| I know. | ||
| You and that gal travel together. | ||
| You gotta find a comfortable medium. | ||
| No, but who do you think is driving? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Great. | |
| You're not kidding. | ||
| Listen, we have time. | ||
| There's plenty of places to eat around here. | ||
| Hey, cheers, guys. | ||
| We'll work this off. | ||
| It's great to be here. | ||
| Yeah, please. | ||
| Great to have you guys. | ||
| Salute. | ||
| It's one way back to my dad's health problems. | ||
| Back to old people that are about to kick off into the next dimension. | ||
| Did you hear about those fucking people that they were on that ghost hunter show? | ||
| They died. | ||
| A murder-suicide. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| The husband killed the wife and killed himself apparently or allegedly. | ||
| Wait, wait, wait. | ||
| In real life? | ||
| In real life. | ||
| They were on a ghost hunting reality show? | ||
| One of those ghost hunting reality shows. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, God. | ||
| And there was like a standoff. | ||
| You know, apparently there had been like some physical violence, domestic violence issues between them before. | ||
| Working partnerships. | ||
| And I think the girl was trying to get away from the guy, allegedly. | ||
| I really shouldn't talk about this because the amount of information I had about the actual, the actual, you know, physical case that the murder-suicide is very small. | ||
| But because I think they're still investigating it, right? | ||
| You know the story, right? | ||
| You posted about this, didn't you? | ||
| Really, really, really recently. | ||
| A couple days ago. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah, terrifying. | ||
| But I mean, how crazy is that? | ||
| These people, you think about what a ghost hunter is. | ||
| At the end of the day, besides a bullshit artist, what a ghost hunter... | ||
| At the end of the day, what a ghost hunter is, is a historian of tragedy. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's very poetic. | ||
| Because you're always involved in some story where there was a mass murder. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you believe in ghosts? | |
| I don't believe in ghosts. | ||
| I got some crazy stories, man. | ||
| I don't believe in ghosts, but I don't not believe in ghosts. | ||
| But the idea what a ghost is, a ghost hunter is, right? | ||
| If you're a person who's going to a psych ward, okay, and you're waiting in the basement for ghosts, you go into a place where people have been murdered. | ||
| Yeah, there's some fucked up energy there. | ||
| Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| But you're also... | ||
| Constantly concentrating on murder. | ||
| Yeah, that's insane. | ||
| Constantly. | ||
| Like, for that... | ||
| And the tension involved in the expectation of a TV show. | ||
| Dude, if it's not entertaining, we're going to lose our job. | ||
| None of them are entertaining, so that's not valid. | ||
| They're non-entertaining shows. | ||
| Here's every Ghost Hunter show that's ever been. | ||
| Night Vision in the basement. | ||
| What was that sound? | ||
| Did you hear that? | ||
| Cut to commercial. | ||
| That's every fucking tune. | ||
| That's every one of them. | ||
| I don't know if we were speaking about frequencies earlier, but I think we were. | ||
| Maybe the singing thing. | ||
| But there's a theory this dude had that low frequency sound, like crazy low, below 40 hertz, which is just like military experience. | ||
| Experimented with like dog sounds with this is below that yeah, they were saying buildings that produce this kind of Frequency machinery that does this there's a correlation between Haunted houses and these places because this kind of frequency can induce hallucination and people can do some really erratic behavior. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's crazy There's like there's like love frequency. | |
| There's there's the what frequency did hitler? | ||
| There's like the 440 what is it vegetarian? | ||
| That was what Hitler was, right? | ||
| Vegetarian? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| He was. | ||
| Was he really? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| He was also an artist, and he had mommy issues. | ||
| Poor guy. | ||
| You feel like if you got to him early in life, you could have prevented a lot? | ||
| I think he... | ||
| Have you met him when you guys were both 20? | ||
| Bro. | ||
| We would have sang him Angel of Death, and he would have been like, you know what? | ||
| I feel differently about the things I was thinking about earlier. | ||
| Maybe whatcha gonna do now? | ||
| That would be a good one for Hitler. | ||
| You love that song, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| I love that song. | ||
| I love you guys. | ||
| It's cool to be friends with someone that you're fans of. | ||
| It's bizarre, you know? | ||
| Right back at you, buddy. | ||
| It's bizarre, you know? | ||
| It's just... | ||
| We thought about you a lot when we were in Montana. | ||
| We were in Montana for about two weeks. | ||
| Looking for Bigfoot? | ||
| Well, naturally. | ||
| Is that cocaine? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was so beautiful, but wilderness is everywhere, and everybody's like, if you go up here, you got to be careful. | ||
| We were in Wyoming, we were in Yellowstone, and we heard so many stories, so many bear stories and things that really freaked me out because I don't have anything to defend myself. | ||
| I would like to go into nature. | ||
| You got your width, girl. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you're right, though, about being cautious about nature. | ||
| For the most part, the reality about animals, for the vast majority of instances, animals don't want to have anything to do with people. | ||
| They want to get the fuck away from you, if at all possible. | ||
| Well, that's not true, but when we were in Yellowstone, so I heard all these stories about people, like, you know, people get killed by grizzlies a few times a year, and we were in Yellowstone, and literally a week later, There was a hiker that got nabbed by a grizzly bear. | ||
| It's just bad timing. | ||
| And I never, ever want to put myself in that position. | ||
| I'll go camping here. | ||
| That's fine. | ||
| I'll go camping in Lake Joshua Tree. | ||
| It's bad timing in a way, but it is also a lack of an understanding of the environment for the most part with a lot of them. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| But although one of the guys that got killed recently was a very experienced hiker, so I might have to take that back. | ||
| You could fuck up and zig when you should have zagged, and the biggest fear is running into a mother. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| A mother bear with her cubs. | ||
| Well, that's what I'm talking about. | ||
| Like, I can appreciate nature in a way that is... | ||
| It's so fucking beautiful, and like... | ||
| We drove through the park and it was incredible. | ||
| But I don't feel like I need to sleep there. | ||
| I can walk along the river by the car and I feel fine. | ||
| And I know I might sound like a total fucking chach right now. | ||
| But the thought of being torn apart by an animal is utterly terrifying to me. | ||
| It's a very intelligent approach. | ||
| But there's a beautiful thing, I think, about being in that environment and experiencing that kind of caution and fear, too. | ||
| You're like, holy fuck, I'm a little bit more connected now. | ||
| Because, yeah, I do actually have to be wary of something threatening to me as opposed to just emotionally. | ||
| You know what, though? | ||
| I swear when you're there, that's not what you're thinking about. | ||
| Well, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| We thought about you. | ||
| The instances are so small. | ||
| And the reality of the beauty of it all, which is what the vast majority of the experience is beautiful. | ||
| The vast, vast, vast, vast, vast majority. | ||
| The times that I've encountered bears in the wild, bears don't want to have nothing to do with people. | ||
| Have you seen grizzlies and stuff? | ||
| No, I have not seen grizzlies. | ||
| That's the ones I'm talking about. | ||
| Those are the ones that you have to be the most worried, but you've just got to be prepared. | ||
| If you bring guns, you always have to be prepared. | ||
| But you can shoot a grizzly and it'll still eat you. | ||
| You have to shoot a grizzly with the right kind of gun, and you have to have more than one person, and you have to be ready in case that happens. | ||
| But most of the time, you don't shoot them. | ||
| You shoot at the ground, and you scare them off, and they're like, fuck this, and they just get out of there. | ||
| You can enter into the natural world In most situations, and get out without having to do anything where something dies where it didn't have to die. | ||
| But there are occasions where, like, I knew a guy who went hunting in Alaska, and they got charged by a grizzly bear and wound up having to kill the grizzly bear. | ||
| The grizzly bear tried to get their kill. | ||
| It was actually a mother. | ||
| They just didn't want to have anything to do with her. | ||
| But she just decided she was going to make a rush at them. | ||
| And I've seen it on video, too. | ||
| I've seen them making rushes at people. | ||
| You're going out to kill something in the wilderness, right? | ||
| You've got to pick where you go, honestly. | ||
| That's what I'm talking about. | ||
| It's super dangerous to go where grizzlies are. | ||
| That's exactly what I'm talking about. | ||
| Glacier National Park. | ||
| They used to have that show on, I don't know, Discovery Channel or whatever, it was called The Hunt. | ||
| It was one where the guy from Metallica, James Hatfield from Metallica is apparently a big time hunter, and he's hunted all over the world, or at least a bunch of different species. | ||
| There's all these photos of him. | ||
| And he hosted this show where they were hunting for grizzly bears. | ||
| It was a really controversial show. | ||
| Because you don't really eat grizzly bears. | ||
| I mean, you can, but they do not. | ||
| They're not endangered, but they're not doing great. | ||
| You know, they're not, like, flourishing. | ||
| Sort of. | ||
| They know how many they should kill, and they know how many they can kill. | ||
| They have, like, this estimation of wildlife biologists. | ||
| It's about to be off, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just loosen it up. | |
| Take his pants up. | ||
| Ben was taking his pants off. | ||
| I thought we were in the Eagles talking about grizzlies. | ||
| I knew it. | ||
| I thought we were safe here. | ||
| But for the most part, they don't fuck with people. | ||
| For the most part, they don't want to have anything to do with you. | ||
| For the most part, they'd rather get away. | ||
| They don't want to get shot. | ||
| They just want to stay away from people. | ||
| Well, so when we were up there, you know, we're like hanging with the locals. | ||
| And of course, like, I'm not from those areas, so I have all these questions about what's it like out there in nature. | ||
| You know, you live in Montana, and, you know, we met this guy who was just... | ||
| And maybe he was being dramatic, but he was telling me all these... | ||
| Horrifying stories where I'm like, why would anyone want to put themselves in that position? | ||
| And I think it's a matter of, like you said, being fully aware of the environment, having that preparation. | ||
| I think it's also the stories people tell, honestly. | ||
| Like you're in that area and there's like a whole culture of bare fear and things like that, at least in certain But that's what we talk about. | ||
| We talk about this one guy who got killed in Yellowstone. | ||
| I don't think it's the kind of threat. | ||
| I don't know why I'm reacting so strongly to it right now, but I feel like it's not the kind of threat. | ||
| It's because you smoke the cocaine weed. | ||
| It's not the threat right now, right here. | ||
| When you're living in Los Angeles, the grizzly bear is not the threat. | ||
| But you're smart to be aware that it's on the table if you're out there. | ||
| Well, Joe, I love nature. | ||
| I love to fish. | ||
| Fishing is one of my greatest passions. | ||
| When I have the time to do it, I fucking love it. | ||
| I'm learning how to fly fish. | ||
| It's really fun. | ||
| And I have all these goals of these places I want to go to, but they're places that scare me. | ||
| Like, I don't want to be fishing. | ||
| Fly fishing for salmon and there's a grizzly bear across the river. | ||
| That kind of thing is like... | ||
| And that's fine. | ||
| I respect that. | ||
| I will stick with the area that I feel safe in because I don't have a rifle on me. | ||
| I don't have Joe Rogan with his acute target practice. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So I think about this a lot because... | ||
| Well, you wouldn't want me, first of all. | ||
| You'd want someone who would be teaching me. | ||
| It'd be fun. | ||
| Whatever, dude. | ||
| You'd want someone like... | ||
| Like some of my friends that I've been lucky to be friends with will take me to the woods, like Cameron Haynes or Steve Rinella, the guy who hosts that meat eater show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, awesome! | |
| That's great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I didn't know that. | |
| Like having friends like that, then that's like, that's the best way to be introduced. | ||
| Do you think they'd want to go fishing with me and just like hang out? | ||
| Yeah, they would take you. | ||
| We've talked about that a bunch of times like we should do shows where we take people for the first time that have never been hunting because it's such a bizarre experience. | ||
| Even if you don't shoot anything, just being in the woods in Montana makes you go, oh my god. | ||
| It makes you realize, wow, life is... | ||
| It's very different than what we've accepted. | ||
| We've accepted that life is cities, and life is, you know, Whole Foods, and life is... | ||
| Well, here's the thing. | ||
| Nature, if you want to talk about, like, going out to nature and life, nature is everywhere. | ||
| Like, we live in a city, but nature is everywhere. | ||
| It's in the fucking middle of your sidewalk, you know? | ||
| There are birds, there are crows, there are hawks. | ||
| I mean, there's just so many, like, it's everywhere. | ||
| We live in the middle of it. | ||
| Coyotes. | ||
| Mountain lions. | ||
| Well, we also, it's like we don't see nature a lot, so I think sometimes we look at nature like an old girlfriend that we haven't called in a long time. | ||
| We only have this really elevated idea of who she was, and then you get back with her and you realize this bitch doesn't give a fuck about Damn! | ||
| It's like that because when you're on the top of a mountain and there's no cell phone service and there's animals creeping around, you're like, this is a fucking dangerous place to be standing still. | ||
| Yeah, it doesn't care about you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can I say something, though? | |
| There's nothing wrong with that. | ||
| It doesn't give a fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's beautiful, but... | |
| I think that that girlfriend is here, though. | ||
| Like, I think there's this sad misconception with the way that people treat quote-unquote nature when they drive out to a national park as opposed to when they treat their urban setting, which is there is nature here, but people don't think about the fact that they throw their trash out the window and there's ducks in the pond right next, you know, all this stuff. | ||
| Like, you're still in nature even if you're in a city. | ||
| You just need to treat it that way. | ||
| The idea that we would look at the city as not being natural itself. | ||
| The city not being natural itself is bizarre. | ||
| It's all bizarre. | ||
| The throwing of litter on the ground. | ||
| Like when people wantonly open up their window and throw their garbage out the window on the highway, you're like, what? | ||
| That guy just throw a bag on the highway. | ||
| Oh man, whenever we see that on the road, I just want to fucking... | ||
| Yeah, it sucks. | ||
| Punch them square in the throat. | ||
| It's so bizarre how many people do it. | ||
| Well, they'll open up a window and throw a bag out. | ||
| Didn't happen. | ||
| And you're like, what? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You just threw a garbage, a Wendy's bag. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People are stupid. | ||
| Or just like, but especially like a little piece of paper, you know, like, like some fucking top of something, you know? | ||
| Even gum. | ||
| You spit your gum out the window. | ||
| Gum is really bad. | ||
| Birds eat gum. | ||
| They think it's like a piece of food and then they die. | ||
| First of all, fuck birds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| Listen, Joe. | ||
| They're on their way out. | ||
| Joe, you have chickens. | ||
| You love birds. | ||
| They're on their way out. | ||
| You love your farm fresh eggs. | ||
| Listen, this is why it's really important if you're going to talk to me. | ||
| You can't take me seriously ever. | ||
| I don't. | ||
| It's super important. | ||
| This is my position. | ||
| My position is fuck birds. | ||
| I remember when you told me about cats and you were like, cats are awful because they have the thing in there. | ||
| They have the parasite. | ||
| Well, I didn't say it that way. | ||
| And then you have the cutest cats in the world and you love them so much. | ||
| I do love them. | ||
| They're sweeties. | ||
| That's a cute cat. | ||
| We just heard a new cat term called making muffins, you know, when they knead. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're so fucking needy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Making muffins. | |
| You like that too? | ||
| Making muffins. | ||
| My cats are fucking needy. | ||
| Yeah, I would say it's more like pizza dough. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay, that works. | |
| It works. | ||
| Wouldn't you call it pizza dough? | ||
| Just looking for a reaction. | ||
| Joey Diaz had the best bit about that, about doing coke with his cat. | ||
| His cat was doing that paw thing. | ||
| He had this hilarious bit he used to do about doing coke with his cat. | ||
| But I'm looking out one window, he's looking out the other one. | ||
| Cats are kind of freaking out a lot of the time. | ||
| I think I kind of see that. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| They're nature's cleanup crew, man. | ||
| And the only reason you're alive is because you're way bigger than them. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| If you're smaller than a cat, it would fucking eat you. | ||
| You could have a dog and a pet gerbil. | ||
| And you could teach that dog to not fuck that gerbil up. | ||
| You could teach that dog, hey dude, listen to me, man. | ||
| The gerbil, off the menu. | ||
| And the dog would be like, got it, got it. | ||
| Don't kill the gerbil. | ||
| I want it really badly, but it's fine. | ||
| How do you think dogs are with cats? | ||
| Like, if dogs grow up with cats, they're totally cool with dogs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know, man. | |
| But if they don't grow up with cats... | ||
| They're fucking dangerous as shit around them. | ||
| They'll kill cats all the time, right? | ||
| So they make these distinctions. | ||
| But he's saying cats can't get there. | ||
| Cats won't make the agreement. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| We don't know. | ||
| We do know. | ||
| Try having a pet rat and a cat in the house. | ||
| Leave. | ||
| Watch what happens. | ||
| You're going to come home to a death rat. | ||
| The cat's going to be like, I don't know, man. | ||
| When did you have a pet rat, Joe, and you did the test with your cats? | ||
| I want to know. | ||
| I've never had a pet rat, but I do know that cats, other than a few breeds of super fluffy Persians that get to that weird, non-aggressive state, they're just these weird... | ||
| They're just bred to cuddle? | ||
| Yeah, they're genetic aberrations. | ||
| Cats are fucking predators. | ||
| They're predators. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| They're ruthless. | ||
| But, you know, then you see these videos of, like, huge African lions in, like, these reserved areas of, you know, of Africa snuggling with the guys that work there. | ||
| I've seen it on YouTube. | ||
| It can happen. | ||
| If they're fed well, and they're taken care of well, and they're raised well, it's very obvious that there's some guys that know how to make a friendship with a lion. | ||
| You're starting to look... | ||
| Fucking tasty. | ||
| Yeah, but it's not that much different than the idea of a wild dog. | ||
| Like, there was a few instances, like, I think there was one where a couple was killed in Georgia, I want to say it was like a couple of years ago, by wild dogs. | ||
| There was a pack of wild dogs that killed these people. | ||
| Because people had let their dogs loose, and the dogs just never came home, or maybe they didn't feed them, or, and they became feral, or they were raised outside. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We've seen that in the South. | |
| seen that in the south. | ||
| I read about coyotes attacking someone, a woman in Canada, singer. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You told us about that, Joe. | ||
| Yes, I did. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, she was killed. | |
| You didn't read about that. | ||
| Joe told us about that. | ||
| You might have read about it after I told you about it. | ||
| We stayed at a winery on Saturday night. | ||
| Actually, Joe, it was a really sweet Rogan fan, this fellow that was like, you guys need a place to stay after the show, and of course we do, you know, you've got to save money. | ||
| Wow, so there's photos of you guys naked online now while you were - We have never been naked. - Everyone's gonna sleep. | ||
| We're never nudes. | ||
| Never nudes, man. | ||
| If you just operate like that, no one has nothing on you. | ||
| Under my underwear, our jean shorts. | ||
| No sex, no fun. | ||
| Don't talk and you never say the wrong shit. | ||
| Trust me, it's the way to go. | ||
| Play it safe, guys. | ||
| No talking, always dressed. | ||
| But we all slept in this fucking RV, and it was awesome, but there were like coyotes. | ||
| And it was great. | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
| But you can hear, they were right outside. | ||
| And it was so loud, and they had this incredible like, you know? | ||
| It's funny, but I thought, honestly, I thought about that story about that singer that you told us about. | ||
| About the girl that was hiking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's terrifying. | |
| But we've got a pack. | ||
| On the road, we've got a pack. | ||
| They're not going to fuck with us. | ||
| I would tackle coyotes for you, Ben. | ||
| You wouldn't even have to. | ||
| I carry a taser on me most times and a knife. | ||
| No, you left it in the car, like in a really weird exposed place yesterday. | ||
| Okay, let's not talk about it. | ||
| It was one time. | ||
| Taser lying on the fucking seat. | ||
| I almost zapped myself. | ||
| First of all, you have to turn it on properly, so you're fine. | ||
| Maybe you left it on. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I didn't. | ||
| You can't be alone. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| I thought you were on the same team. | ||
| I mean, you can be alone on the same team, but... | ||
| She's talking about the taser thing. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Yeah, if you're alone, they're going to say, okay, there's a weakness here, we can exploit it, we're going to fucking do this. | ||
| And the girl apparently was really small. | ||
| She was like less than 100 pounds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's insane. | |
| That is terrifying. | ||
| And they were like, we could do this. | ||
| We could just fucking do this. | ||
| That's so fucking scary. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And they did. | |
| They did. | ||
| Killed her. | ||
| We watch a lot of Planet Earth in the car in our travels. | ||
| And, you know, there's... | ||
| No, it's tough. | ||
| Do you think that the way that you think about that stuff has changed now that you have kids? | ||
| It's like, oh fuck. | ||
| It's just accelerated, but it was always there. | ||
| It was always bizarre to me how dangerous the natural world is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And how it's right there. | ||
| And how dangerously we fuck with it. | ||
| You know, like we manipulate shit. | ||
| Like I said, I'm from Ohio and this is fucked up. | ||
| Check this shit out. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| In the Cleveland Metroparks, where I'm from and where my family resides, there's obviously a deer population that's out of control, like a lot of places, and people get sick of hitting them with their cars. | ||
| So they thought it was a good idea to bring coyotes in to deplete the deer population, which they're not native to that area. | ||
| So there's coyotes in Ohio now, which is so fucking weird. | ||
| It's not natural. | ||
| And like, you know, people start losing their dogs and they don't think about those things. | ||
| And I remember hearing a story of a... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who did that? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I couldn't tell you, but... | ||
| A good family friend of ours was telling the story that her young children were playing in the backyard as they always did and she looked outside the window and she said there are two coyotes in their tree line and she ran outside and her little kids were just playing there. | ||
| But people aren't used to that. | ||
| It's not like you live in Montana and you know that there's bears there and you know that there's wolves. | ||
| It's like this new introduction of people manipulating with nature and it's not cool, man. | ||
| Well, there was a lot of times people were trying to right wrongs. | ||
| Like, that's what they were trying to do with the wolf population, trying to right the wrongs, because they did poison wolves. | ||
| There used to be more wolves. | ||
| But I'm not exactly sure if you really want to be safe and you really want to have a city and civilization. | ||
| I don't think you want a large population of wolves. | ||
| I think it's probably super important. | ||
| If you want to keep this whole people thing going on at the level that's going on now where we can get new Samsung phones every six months. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I really don't think we can keep these fucking wolves around. | |
| This shit is the whole reason why we invented cities in the first place. | ||
| These city people forgot. | ||
| Did you ever see that video about how wolves changed the... | ||
| Yellowstone Park. | ||
| The rivers? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, they do serve a purpose, Joe. | ||
| Yeah, but the purpose is an odd one. | ||
| The purpose is that of a predator. | ||
| Like, this idea that there's only one form of balance. | ||
| But not necessarily. | ||
| Because you don't want lions in L.A., okay? | ||
| You just don't. | ||
| But there are. | ||
| But there's not. | ||
| Mountain ones. | ||
| But no, they're cougars. | ||
| They're smaller, they're more scared, but a large line, like a 600 pound line. | ||
| Like, what if a few of them started living in LA and were like, hey, we have to deal with it, man. | ||
| You know, what if they eat skateboarders? | ||
| We would have to, like, accept the fact... | ||
| That's fine. | ||
| You can eat the skateboarders. | ||
| They're a natural part of nature. | ||
| They have to eat too. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| We would kill those lions. | ||
| We would kill them all. | ||
| If a lion ate your friend, if you came home one day and a lion was eating Ben, what kind of an attitude do you think you'd have towards that lion? | ||
| You'd be very upset with him. | ||
| Can we get a little more detail on the scenario? | ||
| Well, this is what happened. | ||
| We got some crazy, hippie president that decided to... | ||
| The only way for us to have total compassion is to open up the borders to all plants and animals. | ||
| I'm just trying to work on the balance here. | ||
| I'm not an extremist. | ||
| Coyotes, everywhere you look, killing kids, too many kids. | ||
| Fuck it, we have to be a part of the solution. | ||
| And he just brought in predators to take out people. | ||
| Up to date are you on Terminator? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my God. | |
| We should end this podcast right now. | ||
| That would be the perfect way to end it. | ||
| I'm not at all. | ||
| I've missed the boat. | ||
| Come on! | ||
| We can fill you in on one and three if you're interested. | ||
| Well, there's a new one. | ||
| We couldn't find two anywhere. | ||
| Which one is the new one? | ||
| What was it? | ||
| Just Blu-ray. | ||
| The new one just came out. | ||
| New one's not out yet, right? | ||
| It's not out yet? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I live in a small, large city. | ||
| There's five of them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Khaleesi from Game of Thrones. | |
| I heard it. | ||
| What? | ||
| Khaleesi. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, wow. | |
| The really pretty girl, the Mother of Dragons? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| That's pretty cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Powerful. | ||
| I'm not on speaking terms with the Terminator. | ||
| But the problem is... | ||
| I could go back and watch those movies. | ||
| There's a lot of movies I need to watch. | ||
| But what really bothers me about the Terminator movie in particular is that we might have real Terminators. | ||
| That's what we're talking about, dude! | ||
| That's why I wanted to bring up the topic. | ||
| In 50 years. | ||
| It might be a real problem. | ||
| Yeah, people are talking about it. | ||
| Elon Musk, Bill Gates. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you hear about that? | ||
| Stephen Hawking? | ||
| They signed this letter to be like, we cannot have AI. But it's weird, because they signed this letter, we can't have autonomous weaponry. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| But they're also, at least Elon Musk is, but a bunch of these guys are investing in AI. So it's like, how are you drawing that line? | ||
| Because they probably want to be ahead of it, first of all. | ||
| And if you're in the tech business... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck! | |
| Hedging their bets. | ||
| But if you're in the business, like, if you look at... | ||
| I mean, I'm just assuming that if you're a tech guy, like, part of what it is is about innovation at its highest form. | ||
| Like, what's innovation at its highest form other than artificial intelligence? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like the highest form of innovation. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| The creating of a life of some sort of sentient being out of... | ||
| Plastic and metal. | ||
| All this shit is crazy. | ||
| 3D printing. | ||
| It's the same discussion as the 3D printing stuff. | ||
| This dude, Cody Wilson, came out and was like, I'm going to print guns because someone's going to. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So you look at it and you say, well, it's something that we can't change. | ||
| If it's something we can't change, then what is it? | ||
| So where are we going to put our bunker? | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Anyway, we're retiring Joe. | ||
| Joe's yawning. | ||
| I'm terrified. | ||
| It's scary. | ||
| Did you yawn when you're scared? | ||
| Yeah, I got so scared I yawned. | ||
| No, it's not that I'm tired of hearing about it. | ||
| I said, uh, I'm scared. | ||
| No, it's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is. | |
| I think society, we hang on a string all the time, and we keep fixing that string. | ||
| We're really good at keeping the string going, but we assume that the string has to stay, and we know that that's not really true, and that's why we love movies about where the string breaks, and Mad Max, like, ah! | ||
| Shit got crazy! | ||
| Where's the water? | ||
| Fuck! | ||
| There's no law! | ||
| There's no rule! | ||
| You have to fight to the death! | ||
| I mean, it's Barstow. | ||
| If you go to Barstow right now and fenced it in for 10 years, it would be Thunderdome. | ||
| I mean, there's spots where you could manipulate, cut them off to the rest of the world. | ||
| And they would be like that. | ||
| And there's places that are like that now. | ||
| We keep saying that. | ||
| You know, go to Africa. | ||
| We've got to go to Africa, Joe. | ||
| I think if you went to Africa, I'd go, there's parts of Africa that are probably crazier. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| There's a great vice piece on this place in Monrovia, in Liberia, where it's just like, it's a total wasteland. | ||
| People are shitting in the streets. | ||
| The governor or some high political official came down and shat on the beach just to be like, I'm one of the people. | ||
| You know, like, this is how we're doing it. | ||
| That's what he did? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was crazy. | |
| To get votes? | ||
| Well, that was, was that before Ebola broke out? | ||
| Because it was, like, people, that was part of the, like... | ||
| Shitting caused Ebola? | ||
| That was the... | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| It's all the unsanitary conditions and stuff. | ||
| People living in filth. | ||
| That's part of it. | ||
| I don't know if that's... | ||
| But, you know, can I... I really feel fucking really strongly about this. | ||
| It's dope, right? | ||
| Do we... | ||
| I was just looking at the clock. | ||
| You're pointing at the clock? | ||
|
unidentified
|
The clock is dope. | |
| Okay. | ||
| You really feel strongly. | ||
| About, you know, we're talking about like hanging by a string and stuff like that and you know, oh god the government sucks and all this stuff and it's all this is true there's there's you know you could click a button and just kill a lot of people and but at the end of the day while we're here there's some really beautiful things to experience like your shows comedy shows and you make people feel good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How dare you? | |
| What about flowers? | ||
| What about waterfalls? | ||
| Look, I'm fucking going down the list here. | ||
| Let me have my moment. | ||
| And, you know, there's all these incredible things. | ||
| And, you know, something that we get to see on the road, like, we'll have, like, our scheduled Honey Honey shows where you buy your tickets. | ||
| And then occasionally we'll have these really cool opportunities to play, like, concert series that, like, small towns will have where they have no idea who we are, which is awesome because we went to this town in Dillon, Colorado. | ||
| Where literally, like, I would say maybe 10% of the people were there to see us, but the rest of the people were there because they lived in the town, and they wanted to have their entertainment for the night. | ||
| And so there was all these different people. | ||
| There were, like, really young families and really old people, and they all brought their lawn chairs and beers, and we were in this outdoor amphitheater on this lake. | ||
| There's, you know, I don't know, like 500 or 600 people there. | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| And it was such a cool experience because there was this collective experience of all these people that came together for whatever they needed at the time that wasn't like, you know... | ||
| It wasn't about us. | ||
| We were offering what we could to the situation. | ||
| But at the end of the day, it was really beautiful because it was all these people that were having this experience together in their own way. | ||
| And it was different races, demographics, and like it was just we had this moment. | ||
| And it was really cool. | ||
| And I think... | ||
| Right now, when the world is in this really funny place that's really scary, and we can put energy into how scary it is and all that stuff, but we can also put energy into these experiences together where we're trying to figure it out. | ||
| I think that's really important. | ||
| I think most of what people are fighting over has nothing to do with most of the people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Most of the people in the world, what do we want to do? | ||
| We want to just hang out with our friends, go to dinner. | ||
| We don't want to take over the oil fields. | ||
| Most of the people just want to have a good time. | ||
| Most of the people. | ||
| There are a few people who really want to push that whole making money envelope to the point where we want to invade countries. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| That's 90% of what's wrong with us. | ||
| It's not most of us. | ||
| Most of us, and I think this is what we're able to do now that we weren't able to do before, is most of us can talk to each other. | ||
| You can get whatever your message out. | ||
| Whatever your message is out in a way that you've never been able to do before. | ||
| So if you want to do it in a song, if you want to do it with an e-book, you can get your message out. | ||
| A poem? | ||
|
unidentified
|
A poem. | |
| Don't tell anybody it's a poem. | ||
| Tell them it's a rap song. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| Brownie points if you're white. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
| Right? | ||
| But I think... | ||
| I mean, this is the best time ever. | ||
| Like, people that say, oh, the world's falling apart. | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| Damn it, I think it's always been fucked because it's filled with people. | ||
| Like, the world's always been fucked. | ||
| But guess what? | ||
| People are fucked, and we're the best things on Earth. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Turtles can suck it. | ||
| No, it's true. | ||
| It's like as light as it is dark. | ||
| If you were on an island with a bunch of turtles, you'd want to fucking kill yourself inside a week. | ||
| If there was a million living beings on this island, I was one with these beings. | ||
| You would commune with them. | ||
| Please, you'd shoot yourself right in the face. | ||
| If I gave you two bullets, one of them was for the turtle that you were going to kill to stay alive for the first day, and the second one you're going to put right in your fucking mouth. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| You're like, I'm not living with turtles for the rest of my life. | ||
| Not doing it. | ||
| How do you prepare the turtle? | ||
| Do you have sriracha? | ||
| You just boil it. | ||
| I need to know. | ||
| You just have to bang rocks together to light up dry leaves. | ||
| Wow, you've thought about this. | ||
| You're going to have to cook it just to make sure you kill the parasites. | ||
| It's going to taste terrible. | ||
| Thank God. | ||
| That's a pretty awesome thing, that food tastes so good. | ||
| You know, you're talking about the context of things, how the world's changed. | ||
| Shit didn't taste this good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| It tastes too good a lot of the times. | ||
| Food is an art form now. | ||
| There's some art forms that have probably been around for a long time with food, right? | ||
| Like a lot of dishes. | ||
| There's some... | ||
| I mean, we... | ||
| Ethnic dishes, right? | ||
| We started to do some work with Farm Aid, which has been really cool. | ||
| And learned a lot about, you know, the whole fucking structure of, you know, corporate food, corporate, literally, like, all the hormonal shit. | ||
| And, you know, you're fine. | ||
| I mean, you've got your, like, mousse and bear in your freezer. | ||
| Like, your meat section is covered. | ||
| It's delicious. | ||
| I'm glad you guys enjoyed it. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| But, you know, the majority of the food that people eat in their grocery stores, you go to Safeway or you go to fucking Piggly Wiggly, that shit is toxic. | ||
| Piggly Wiggly, damn. | ||
| That shit is awful. | ||
| It is God fucking awful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't think it's that bad. | |
| And it will give you cancer. | ||
| I don't think it's that bad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Joe! | |
| Honestly, here's the thing about meat. | ||
| How often do you eat that shit? | ||
| It's just like protein and water. | ||
| If you ate that every day, your shit would be fucked up. | ||
| You'd be like, why do I have acne all of a sudden? | ||
| You would freak out. | ||
| I'm not convinced. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| This is the only reason why I'm saying this. | ||
| But it's a shitty protein. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I don't know if it is or it isn't. | ||
| See, I don't understand. | ||
| I just want to be honest about it. | ||
| I don't know what you actually get off of a piece of meat. | ||
| It seems to me like, logically, I am attracted to a darker, richer meat because I feel like it would be a healthier animal, a more vibrant animal. | ||
| And logically and centrally, too. | ||
| There's something biologically doing like, no, this is bitter. | ||
| But then that's why it's counterintuitive because a lot of the really fatty cuts of meat are the ones that people enjoy the most. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're right. | |
| That's why they like that wagyu. | ||
| Wagyu, how do you say it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| The Japanese version of beef where they fatten them up. | ||
| But wait, wait, wait. | ||
| Are you talking about fatty versions of meat that have been processed to be that way? | ||
| No, you're saying with the animals. | ||
| The appeal. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I guess it was because of fats. | ||
| Fats have always been super important because people, it was hard to get food. | ||
| Yeah, and they help you digest, too. | ||
| They do a lot of shit. | ||
| But also, like, you really wanted, like, the attraction to things that have a lot of calories. | ||
| Like, that was one of the most important things when people were starving to death all the time. | ||
| You had to get that fat. | ||
| Fat was important. | ||
| Yeah, and big was key. | ||
| Big was like, we gotta be big. | ||
| But now, it just shows you how these things change. | ||
| Now, bigger is kind of fucking us over. | ||
| It's like overconsumption. | ||
| People are just so big now, too. | ||
| There was a thing on TV the other day about a kid who was a senior in high school. | ||
| He's the biggest football player ever. | ||
| And he's a senior in high school. | ||
| He's seven feet tall, 440 pounds. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| And he's 17 years old. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| Like, we're going to go right to the fucking moon. | ||
| We're going to scrape the moon with our heads. | ||
| Then we're going to just keep getting bigger. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
|
unidentified
|
People are going to be too big. | |
| That's insane. | ||
| People are going to run out of oxygen and start dying. | ||
| Because they're going to pass through... | ||
| They're going to get to a point a thousand years from now where a thousand... | ||
| I would like to know more about that kid's diet and what kind of supplements he's taking and stuff like that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| What did he eat? | ||
| If it was some crazy lightning strike of, like, natural phenomenon, that would be incredible. | ||
| And I'm totally open to that. | ||
| But there's so many things, like, you know, like, with processed meats, like, girls are getting their periods at 11. Are they, though? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, that should have checked out. | ||
| What creepy fucking guy is standing there with a clipboard? | ||
| Have you started to bleed yet? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| Margaret, let me see your panties. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| Where do they keep Margaret? | ||
| Who is this guy that's asking these fucking period questions? | ||
| It better not be a guy. | ||
| It better be a woman. | ||
| I hope you have a woman doctor that's not a fucking creep. | ||
| God, I hope it's not some creep. | ||
| You know what's funny? | ||
| That dude in San Diego that got arrested today? | ||
| No. | ||
| Well, he got sentenced to... | ||
| This is a terrible story. | ||
| This guy got sentenced to only one year of house arrest, and he pleaded guilty to fucking eight of his patients while they were under. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Kill Bill in it. | ||
| Oh, that's terrible. | ||
| He only got a year of house arrest. | ||
| That's horrifying. | ||
| People thought he was going to get 20 years. | ||
| What's his name and social security number? | ||
| I don't even want to... | ||
| Google it. | ||
| Let's find him. | ||
| It's awful. | ||
| I was going to talk about an inappropriate story, but I'm not... | ||
| Oh, too late. | ||
| The first time I had like a gynecology thing when I was like I was like 18 and it was a male doctor and he was so hot that I like did not know what to do with myself. | ||
| I remember being like, so... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow, that's a scene in a porn. | |
| It really was incredible. | ||
| I had my pelvis zapped with an electric needle by a beautiful dermatologist. | ||
| Not the same thing. | ||
| What if the guy look at it and give you a thumbs up? | ||
| That's when it would have been really weird. | ||
| About what? | ||
| The guy wasn't there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can't. | |
| I wasn't there. | ||
| I can't accept while you are still in the building, she's going to go to the restroom. | ||
| She might not want to talk about that. | ||
| That might be how she's trying to get out of it. | ||
| Good point. | ||
| You can't hold her to the fire. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| It's a vagina thing. | ||
| That's considerate. | ||
| If a girl's talking a story about a vagina, you have to either, it comes or it doesn't come. | ||
| You can't like go, come on, what happened to you pussy? | ||
| They don't love that? | ||
| I think she'll love it. | ||
| They get mad. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| Joe, what's up with your dick? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's up with your dick? | |
| Why is your dick happy? | ||
| Or no? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh boy. | |
| So you're having a dick problem? | ||
| What's the deal? | ||
| The dick problem that old people get? | ||
| Or the dick problems that pedos get? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What kind of dick problem are we talking about here, fella? | |
| I had a band-aid on my dick once. | ||
| Vaginas are infinitely more sensitive to criticism. | ||
| You know, you can make a joke about a dude having a stinky dick, but if you make a joke on stage about a woman's malodorous vagina, you would be a terrible person. | ||
| They wouldn't have anything to do with you. | ||
| Even if you're telling a true story. | ||
| If you did tell a true story about a woman's stinky vagina, you would have to really word it well. | ||
| You feel like it's a double standard? | ||
| Yes, I do. | ||
| Let's work away, dude. | ||
| You've got to start doing it. | ||
| You've got to lead the charge. | ||
| See, this is my thing. | ||
| I don't think necessarily that all double standards are there because of inequality. | ||
| I think some double standards are there because we want to quantify things instead of just looking at them as being completely different. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| You tell a dude his dick stinks and he goes, all right, I'll wash it. | ||
| But also, it's really got to be serious if you're not up close to it. | ||
| It might be stinky as fuck. | ||
| It's very possible for your dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck are you guys talking about? | |
| If you're lazy, you don't clean your dick, it's very possible your dick could be stinky as fuck. | ||
| Are we talking about uncircumcised penises? | ||
| I mean, not necessarily. | ||
| Stinky dicks versus stinky vaginas. | ||
| That a man saying a woman's vagina is stinky is like a terrible thing to do. | ||
| It's like there is a double standard because it is different. | ||
| But maybe it needs to be said, you know? | ||
| It's a more powerful statement. | ||
| To a woman? | ||
| Yes, because if you tell a dude that his dick stinks, he goes, psh, alright, I'll wash my dick. | ||
| Like, that's it. | ||
| You know once you wash your dick, it's clean. | ||
| It's not going to continue to stink. | ||
| I think some dudes will freak out about it. | ||
| They'll be like, what do you mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's wrong with me? | |
| Those guys are babies. | ||
| Most guys are just gonna wash their dick. | ||
| But for a woman, you're dealing with an internal flora issue. | ||
| Right? | ||
| That's the issue of having any sort of a yeast infection. | ||
| It's life forms living in your cooter. | ||
| Doesn't your diet affect the smell of your jizz? | ||
| I've been thinking about that for the last hour. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| Well, we know it affects the smell of your pee, right? | ||
| If you eat asparagus, you can smell your asparagus while you're peeing. | ||
| I gotta assume that makes it into your calm as well. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| It only makes sense. | ||
| Wow, I go to the bathroom for like two minutes. | ||
| You brought up the gynecologist. | ||
| I did. | ||
| As soon as Ben and I were locking eyes with each other, we went right into the toilet and started talking about stinky dicks. | ||
| That is not the direction I like for us, Joe. | ||
| Dude, it is what it is. | ||
| It is what it is. | ||
| Live with it. | ||
| It's a funny thing. | ||
| I just think that's why it's funny. | ||
| It's ruder for whatever biological reason. | ||
| It's ruder for a man to mock a woman's stinky vagina in a cruel fashion. | ||
| Do you think that's out of insecurity? | ||
| Do you think that's a degrading thing that you want to devalue a woman's special place? | ||
| It's very possibly. | ||
| But it's also equally negative on the other side when a woman mocks a man for having a tiny dick. | ||
| It's not the size of the dog. | ||
| I swear by that. | ||
| Lies. | ||
| But a micro dick. | ||
| If a guy has a micro dick. | ||
| I need to shut my mouth. | ||
| If a guy has a little tiny dick. | ||
| There's guys that have micro dicks like that. | ||
| Like a chode? | ||
| Like a full on chode? | ||
| Joe, what do you buy? | ||
| A tiny one, like a little one. | ||
| I'm saying like a little terrifyingly small little dick. | ||
| And if someone mocks that... | ||
| Well, what if he's really funny? | ||
| Well, that'll help. | ||
| But it's less offensive to make fun of a stinky pussy than it is to make fun of that. | ||
| Because I think a stinky pussy you can clean up. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| That's right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All you need is some acidophilus in your life, girl. | |
| All you need is some wild kimchi. | ||
| You need some raw foods. | ||
| Take care of your flora. | ||
| I hope that my mom and dad never listen to this podcast. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mom, listen mom, you know what's up. | |
| These chairs are fucking dope, dude. | ||
| They're not bad. | ||
| They're very good. | ||
| They really do help with the posture. | ||
| Ergo Depot. | ||
| Shout out to Ergo Depot. | ||
| They sent them to us. | ||
| I was skeptical at first because I had one before that. | ||
| It was like super uncomfortable. | ||
| It was like one of those knee ones where you go on your knees. | ||
| You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| Yep, I do. | ||
| And you're on your butt in some sort of a weird way. | ||
| Tough to get used to. | ||
| But they do make you keep a good posture. | ||
| And then I got this other one that was like a saddle, but then this dude from Ergo Depot hollered at me online. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| And he said, those are not good for long term. | ||
| It's like you're sitting at a desk for a long period of time and you need something like this. | ||
| And he sent it to me and I was like, but it looks like a regular chair. | ||
| And then you sit in it and you go, oh, it's called a Capisco, that's what it's called. | ||
| You sit in it and you go, oh yeah, that's a perfect fucking Posture! | ||
| Well, it's really interesting how they've done all these studies on your posture, like... | ||
| On your posture, dude. | ||
| Yours specifically, uh, news grenade, people are watching you and listening. | ||
| Um, but, but, like, the way your body language expresses your, like, there's certain chemicals. | ||
| Don't get crazy. | ||
| There were studies, like, if you sit like this, you know, there's this, like, power stance. | ||
| That's the Dick Ford. | ||
| It's called the Dick Ford. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Are you just being a... | ||
| No, when guys are... | ||
| So I go... | ||
| I put my feet up on the desk and I go Dick Ford. | ||
| No, I'm not even joking. | ||
| That's like a move. | ||
| It's like a horse dance. | ||
| But if you were to sit like... | ||
| Oh, is that true? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Wait, really? | ||
| Why did I not know that? | ||
| Why did I not know that? | ||
| No, he's being serious. | ||
| You're serious? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm going with it. | ||
| I mean, sometimes... | ||
| Serious or not, it's serious now. | ||
| So, Dick Ford? | ||
| Don't settle down the river, Ben. | ||
| Let me have this dream. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dick Ford. | |
| Why don't we all just fucking sit back? | ||
| Well, Dick Ford, especially if a guy has like maybe some sort of an alligator skin cowboy boots on and he puts his feet down on the ground in some sort of an office chair, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Some sort of a risky environment and then puts his hands behind his head, leans back and goes, well, how much do you like this job? | ||
| I'm about to go dickful. | ||
| There's chemicals released from that physical position. | ||
| Shit's going on. | ||
| You're getting more powerful by sitting like that. | ||
| Like Thor. | ||
| I can feel it. | ||
| Thor with his hammer. | ||
| Yeah, you're just like Thor. | ||
| They say that about smiles, right? | ||
| That when you smile... | ||
| Fake it till you make it, dude. | ||
| It actually has an effect on your brain. | ||
| It gives you a certain amount of happiness. | ||
| Now, my problem with that... | ||
| Or mean it. | ||
| I think mean it's possible. | ||
| Yeah, that's great. | ||
| Let's not sell ourselves so short. | ||
| Yeah, that's much better that way. | ||
| How about fake it till you mean it? | ||
| Oh, damn. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| That's so beautiful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I just teared up. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
| We have to sing a song. | ||
| We went deep. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We went deep. | |
| Was it even that good? | ||
| No, definitely not that good. | ||
| People at home are going, what the fuck? | ||
| That's a fucking t-shirt. | ||
| That we should sell. | ||
| Fake it till you mean it. | ||
| Fake it till you mean it. | ||
| That's fucking awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're just enabling sociopaths. | |
| Have no emotions, pretend you do. | ||
| They'll grow. | ||
| Water them with the tears of others. | ||
| Here's Honey Honey with their fucking new hit. | ||
| Your tears taste delicious. | ||
| Yeah, this is a slam poem. | ||
| It's even worse than a regular poem. | ||
| Have you ever been to- I'm gonna say it in a voice that's not mine. | ||
| Always here and always on time. | ||
| Top of the mountain, bottom of the gully. | ||
| I've been here before my friend Sully. | ||
| You didn't have to rhyme, dude. | ||
| No, it was good. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| Red is strong. | ||
| It comes from a strong immigrant background with a very good work ethic. | ||
| You gotta make some shit, Ryan, if you want to call it a poem. | ||
| Alright, you can't just say a bunch of shit. | ||
| The lightning hits the thunder. | ||
| I'm on the street. | ||
| Why is it wet? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| My father doesn't love me as much as he loves his new wife. | ||
| As I get in my car, and I wish my tire wasn't flat, but it is. | ||
| Deal with it. | ||
| I can't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I try. | |
| I move on. | ||
| My alarm wakes up. | ||
| I wish my life was that interesting. | ||
| Back to the grind. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It was a dream. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was a dream. | |
| And then I light my cigarette. | ||
| You just captured us, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You captured us. | |
| Then you have one single tear that's just like, you light your cigarette and there's one single tear and everyone's like, oh my God. | ||
| Can you fake crying, Joe? | ||
| Everyone has a boner. | ||
| In your acting days? | ||
| No, but I cry like a bitch, man. | ||
| I'll fucking cry. | ||
| People get mad at me because I cry so easy. | ||
| But I just get, I don't cry for sad things. | ||
| It's a weird, I'm a weird person in that way. | ||
| Oh, you cry for happy things? | ||
| I cry for like powerful things. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Sad things make me really sad, but I can absolutely cry from them. | ||
| But a lot of times involuntary tears come from really happy things. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| Like I'll be talking to somebody on the pod, like Ronda Rousey when she was in here. | ||
| I love her. | ||
| I was talking to her about her dad and her dad committed suicide, man. | ||
| And this chick that she was fighting in her last fight. | ||
| Oh, I saw it. | ||
| Said something that she interpreted as, like, she might kill herself like her father. | ||
| And, you know, whether or not that was exactly what that girl meant, it didn't matter, because that's what Rhonda saw. | ||
| And then she went out there and beat the shit out of that girl, and I was like, whoa. | ||
| That was fucking crazy. | ||
| But it was so crazy. | ||
| It was like this weird moment in history. | ||
| I had this feeling for a minute that I was in this place that there's going to be a point in time. | ||
| It didn't matter if the girl wasn't the right opponent for her. | ||
| It didn't matter whether the girl was in her league. | ||
| What it was was what had happened in this country where this chick had come overseas and just beat the fuck. | ||
| We're talking to this girl on pay-per-view. | ||
| It's a girl! | ||
| And then, like, so you have this crazy sport that everybody resists, like, oh my god, it's barbaric, it's masculinity, it's the most toxic left. | ||
| The biggest star is a hot chick. | ||
| The biggest star! | ||
| The biggest stars! | ||
| Sweat this. | ||
| The biggest star in the craziest, most violent sport the world has ever known is a beautiful woman who's highly skilled, who is a living Charlie's Angels movie, who flies to other continents to beat the fuck out of itches. | ||
| We're talking about a girl. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's her job. | |
| A girl who, if she decided to starve herself, she could easily be a model, right? | ||
| She's beautiful. | ||
| Instead, she chooses to get in a metal tube, fly to South America, and beat the fuck out of some chick on pay-per-view. | ||
| And when you're there and you watch that happen, and you watch this paradigm-shifting moment, like, for me, I was like, whoa! | ||
| Did you cry? | ||
| I almost did then. | ||
| I almost did when I was interviewing her, and a tear leaked out a little bit when I had her on the show, and I talked about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But I almost cried when I was talking to Conor McGregor. | ||
| I was talking to Conor McGregor after he beat Chad Mendez when I was talking about Ireland. | ||
| One of these Irish people in the audience. | ||
| That was the show, Ben, in Vancouver. | ||
| You guys were in Vancouver while it was happening? | ||
| Wait, he fought... | ||
| The guy was from... | ||
| Chad Bendez? | ||
| From California, wasn't he? | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| We literally... | ||
| Joe, we watched that show from a sports bar. | ||
| We didn't know who was coming to our show in Vancouver. | ||
| And I said to Ben, I was like, I'll bet a bunch of people from this bar are coming to our show. | ||
| And it was weird because it wasn't a market that we're really prevalent in. | ||
| And I'm not even joking you. | ||
| Like, 95% of the people that were at that show were Rogan fans. | ||
| And they were watching that fight. | ||
| So it was weird. | ||
| You'd be amazed at how many parallels there are. | ||
| We all have these prejudices against people. | ||
| People that would be into MMA wouldn't be into your kind of music. | ||
| But you're totally wrong. | ||
| We're all totally wrong. | ||
| We're all scared. | ||
| We were talking about earlier about the natural world. | ||
| We're all terrified of all the dangers of when people didn't have the internet. | ||
| They didn't know who the people were that were coming in boats. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| We have less and less to fear. | ||
| We're more and more like each other and we realize that more and more on a daily basis. | ||
| So like when the mergings of our sort of fans is like the perfect example of that. | ||
| Like universally the people that I introduced to you I don't want to blow you guys up. | ||
| But universally, they love you. | ||
| I mean, you guys are awesome. | ||
| It's not like I go, hey, these guys suck, but they're cool, they're fun to hang out with. | ||
| If I tell you I love them, I'm telling you these guys, there's something going on. | ||
| But you're telling people in your community a lot of the time they're really open people, too. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That plays a big role. | ||
| We didn't think we could be. | ||
| We all thought that we had issues with each other. | ||
| We all thought that somehow or another you couldn't be athletic and also like books. | ||
| Nobody wanted to talk to you about those books. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| You couldn't be into documentaries but also be into martial arts. | ||
| You couldn't do that. | ||
| You couldn't do that because you were either like a meathead or you were a nuanced person who wasn't worried about physical activities. | ||
| You couldn't be both. | ||
| Dude, I love that you just said that. | ||
| Because I play the fucking banjo and violin, and people think we're a country band, but we fucking rock. | ||
| Ben plays the electric guitar. | ||
| It gets crazy. | ||
| But then we'll be sensitive. | ||
| We can call ourselves Honey Honey. | ||
| And then we call ourselves Honey Honey. | ||
| Is it fair to say you guys are a Donny Marie for 2015? | ||
| Oh, Joe. | ||
| She's a little bit country. | ||
| Hold on, let me write that down. | ||
| That was a good one. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| I'm sorry, I forced that one in there too. | ||
| It wasn't even good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I forced it in there. | |
| They were the first fucking, like, they were kind of like a hybrid band. | ||
| They're brother and sister though, right? | ||
| Did you ever see the SNL with Lucy? | ||
| And Mormon. | ||
| They're Mormon? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| They did not know that. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| Wow, I'm so sorry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And they're so Mormon. | |
| You want to know how Mormon they are? | ||
| Jamie, pull up the album of the Osmond Brothers. | ||
| There was an Osmond Brothers album where they all showed their planets that they have. | ||
| Planets? | ||
| Yeah, when you die, if you're a serious fucking hardcore Mormon, you get your own planet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I want one. | ||
| That's pretty cool. | ||
| Wait, what are we doing here? | ||
| Why aren't we getting our fucking planets? | ||
| One of their albums is like them, and it shows like Mormon mythology on the album, like planets and shit. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| How does it go? | ||
| What is it, Jamie? | ||
| You get a planet when you die. | ||
| If I'm out of line, please. | ||
| I mean, if I paraphrased. | ||
| No, you did great. | ||
| But I'm pretty sure. | ||
| The truth is coming. | ||
| Because I remember somebody showed it to me, and I almost blacked out. | ||
| Because I was like, is this real? | ||
| I'm going to say something. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I'm not embarrassed about it. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I couldn't name a song. | ||
| Donny Marie? | ||
| Oh, they had a lot. | ||
| They had a lot of hits. | ||
| They're very nice. | ||
| Donny, especially, is a really nice guy. | ||
| He's very friendly. | ||
| He's a super, super nice, easy-going guy. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| When you're around him, and when I was a kid, I used to watch the Donny and Marie show on TV. So to meet him in real life, I was like, is this real? | ||
| It totally didn't seem real. | ||
| I'm meeting Donny Osmond, and I'm like, what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is cute. | |
| This cannot really be Donny Osmond. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| I really hope after this we can boot up the SNL with Louie Marie Dreyfus. | ||
| Did I say that right? | ||
| It's called The Plan, apparently. | ||
| Which one? | ||
| From Seinfeld? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Julia. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Louie. | ||
| We got some sort of an issue with our imaging. | ||
| But did they have like a huge radio hit? | ||
| Yeah, they had. | ||
| Well, Donny Marie had a big time show. | ||
| They had a big television show. | ||
| It was like late night, wasn't it? | ||
| So it was more about the show. | ||
| I feel like it was like a one-night-a-week variety show, if I had to remember correctly, dig deep into my memory banks. | ||
| But they would have singers on, and they would sing. | ||
| She would sing, I'm a little bit country, and he would be like, and I'm a little bit of rock and roll. | ||
| Yeah, totally. | ||
| Yeah, and they would have this thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We're kind of working towards that. | ||
| Ben is my brother? | ||
| I think it's the plan, and then there's the inside of the album that has all sorts of like... | ||
| It says going home with that hand. | ||
| Oh, the hand that holds the earth, is that what it is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's the inside? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Going home. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that their home? | |
| But whatever it is, that Mormon thing, whatever it is, it made Donny Osmond a very nice person. | ||
| He was very nice. | ||
| Is there a message in here? | ||
| I don't know if it matters. | ||
| I don't know if it matters. | ||
| I think in the end, being a nice guy like Donny Osmond is more important than knowing exactly how stars are made. | ||
| Knowing how planets are formed in real life, it doesn't really apply to the real world because it's a super slow process and if you dwell on that, you don't have any time. | ||
| There's no room. | ||
| You can't fit that in there. | ||
| A planetary question. | ||
| Can I ask you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay, so I'm reading this book. | ||
| It's talking about All this gas, all this matter just boom, colliding together and falling into orbit of the sun and becoming this planet that we're on. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So why is there heat, why is there a ball of fucking fire in the middle of it? | ||
| That's a super good question. | ||
| Where did that come from? | ||
| No idea. | ||
| Me neither. | ||
| I think it's like fairy dust and leprechaun come. | ||
| Love it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what I'm talking about! | |
| The fairies and leprechauns, they each fuck a separate tree. | ||
| And it forms a crystal. | ||
| They come and fight to the death in the center of the earth. | ||
| And it takes six Texans to change a light bulb because the seventh one has to watch the crystal. | ||
| They don't need light bulbs. | ||
| We don't need light bulbs. | ||
| We light candles around here. | ||
| We like to go old school. | ||
| Ride horses, light candles. | ||
| Burning wax. | ||
| We drink whiskey. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And we shoot intruders. | |
| They're dangerous. | ||
| They could be threats. | ||
| I just became really self-aware of everything that we're talking about. | ||
| This might be the most fucked up we've ever been on one of these podcasts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, I feel so bad. | |
| Equally fucked up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Us? | |
| No, because last time I smoked weed and I was like, boo, just flatlined for like a couple minutes. | ||
| So when you smoke weed, it makes you introspective? | ||
| It makes me... | ||
| Like an introvert? | ||
| Very introverted and tired. | ||
| Like, I don't know. | ||
| I'm not good at it. | ||
| But also, I'm not... | ||
| But it makes me sleep, which is great because I have a really hard time sleeping. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So I think that's something... | ||
| I have just a chemical reaction to it. | ||
| I've tried, dude. | ||
| I've fucking tried. | ||
| You guys are so good at it. | ||
| You shine. | ||
| You really shine. | ||
| I totally understand where you're coming from. | ||
| Who the fuck knows what it does? | ||
| I know people that can't drink coffee. | ||
| If they have a cup of coffee, they feel like they're going to have a heart attack. | ||
| They just can't do it. | ||
| For whatever reason. | ||
| Coffee's really weird. | ||
| I'll have a cup and I will just like peek and then I'll cry. | ||
| Like if I have too much, I'll crash and they get really sad. | ||
| But like for like the two hours, I'm just super productive, like emails and shit. | ||
| Everybody does that. | ||
| Are you making fun of me? | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If I knew how to put you in a headlock, I would do, but I think I do. | |
| I'm totally making fun of you, but not for real. | ||
| That's the one. | ||
| You do like a karate chop though? | ||
| How do you protect the nose? | ||
| Turn the back of the hand towards the back of the head. | ||
| No, the other way. | ||
| His head. | ||
| The person you're choking, spin your hand. | ||
| Left pinky down. | ||
| Left pinky down. | ||
| Keep going. | ||
| And make a karate chop with your hand. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Make a karate chop thing like you would karate chop with a straight hand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Now, that's what you're sneaking behind their neck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then you squeeze down on that. | ||
| That's how you do it. | ||
| I can fucking do this, man. | ||
| I got this. | ||
| You do it. | ||
| The hand on the back of the neck goes into a karate chop position like this. | ||
| And what that does is it gives you maximum leverage. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| If you do get under someone's arm, you could totally choke a guy to sleep. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Thank God. | ||
| There's a lot of women. | ||
| If it came to the difference between a woman who's a kickboxer defending herself with the same amount of experience in the gym as a woman who's a jiu-jitsu black belt defending herself, it would be, in my opinion, I would favor the woman Like her ability to dominate a much larger opponent using only jujitsu skills, especially for women, I think. | ||
| I think because jujitsu is the most technical and the most positional and leverage-based of all the martial arts. | ||
| And it's sort of like... | ||
| I attribute... | ||
| Compare it to, like, getting in an argument with someone who doesn't know English very well. | ||
| Like, if you were having an argument with someone, and they were, like, really shitty at English, and they were just slowly... | ||
| You'd be like, what? | ||
| What the fuck are you talking about, dummy? | ||
| What do you say? | ||
| Spit it out, stupid! | ||
| Like, it was a mean person. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You fuck go to yourself! | |
| Right. | ||
| Well, that's the same way with jujitsu. | ||
| Like, if you knew the language of jujitsu so well, and you had some dumb dude that was trying to grab you, you'd be like, yeah, fuck you! | ||
| And like you'd be like some crazy ninja chick on his back choking him. | ||
| That is absolutely feasible. | ||
| Whereas like with striking, the real problem that a lot of women face is the actual physical size of their bones. | ||
| Like when you're punching people especially. | ||
| Like unless you have your hands fully wrapped up like in a good boxing wrap and then a padded leather glove on top of that, it's hard to just punch people in the face. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Unless you have a good sturdy build. | |
| We're not like in a... | ||
| I'm not like in a position where I'm going to have an actual battle with someone yet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You don't know that. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| But at this point... | ||
| Well, do you want to do it for competition or do you want to do it for self-defense? | ||
| Self-defense. | ||
| I mean, like... | ||
| But see, then you can't say that because that could happen... | ||
| On the way to the grocery store. | ||
| Oh my god, yeah. | ||
| You could run into some crazy, messed up chick who wants to fucking duke it out. | ||
| You fucking cuck! | ||
| You're the one! | ||
| There's some times where like, I wish I had the fucking manpower, literally, to like, We were in Nashville like two weeks ago for Americana Fest. | ||
| We were playing this festival and we were driving under this bridge and there were these two guys beating the fuck out of each other in the middle of the street. | ||
| There was like a bottle over the face. | ||
| This one guy was choking the other guy. | ||
| Good technique or no? | ||
| It looked terrible. | ||
| It was sloppy. | ||
| It was sloppy. | ||
| It was sloppy crackhead bullshit. | ||
| It's one of my main puzzles. | ||
| But it was like, obviously we called the police, but I had this moment where I was like, I wanted to do something. | ||
| I'm like, what the fuck can I do? | ||
| And I literally leaned out the window and I went, stop it! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stop it! | |
| I didn't know what to do. | ||
| And I called the police, but if I were a ninja like you, I'd go in there and be like... | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| I would have definitely stayed in my car. | ||
| Right. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Listen to me. | ||
| If you're driving by two people beating the fuck out of each other, you are not there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You are in a car. | |
| Just because it's right in front of you, that shit could be 100 miles away. | ||
| Unless, unless there's someone in that mixture that needs you, like, if there's someone who's small and they're getting beaten up by someone big, then everything changes. | ||
| But if it's two fucking dudes... | ||
| Well, the dude was like choking the other day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck my pig! | |
| That your pig! | ||
| You owe me that pig! | ||
|
unidentified
|
And if they're fighting in this tree, just try! | |
| So my point is, don't always stop. | ||
| Just kiss already! | ||
| Don't always stop. | ||
| Sometimes you gotta let two dudes beat each other to death. | ||
| It's better for everybody. | ||
| Certain people. | ||
| It's fine. | ||
| Just give them both rocks and push them near the edge. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Go! | |
| Let them fall. | ||
| What are they going to do? | ||
| Are they going to stay and keep coal mining? | ||
| You got to keep moving, okay? | ||
| Genes need to flourish. | ||
| They need to find better streams of diversity. | ||
| I appreciate the perspective. | ||
| That's what I'm saying, man. | ||
| Don't always stop fights, but some fights you have to stop, right? | ||
| The classic is a man beating a woman. | ||
| There's a small battle in the front row of the Honey Honey show the other day in Long Beach. | ||
| I don't like that. | ||
| I don't like that either, but I also think it's amazing. | ||
| My people are fucking up. | ||
| Guys, guys, guys. | ||
| Come on, guys. | ||
| You had a honey, honey show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don't. | |
| Hug each other. | ||
| There's some of that. | ||
| Look, we're fucking hardcore, but also we're fucking lovers. | ||
| And it was amazing to have these dudes who were fighting. | ||
| And I was like, fuck you, motherfucker. | ||
| And I was like, guys, one of you has a honey, honey t-shirt on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I just want to be like, let's think about this for a second. | |
| I hate that expression, pro tip. | ||
| Whenever someone tells you that they're hardcore, they're never hardcore. | ||
| That's 100%. | ||
| That's fair. | ||
| The expression, we're hardcore. | ||
| That never comes out of the mouth. | ||
| But Joe, check this out. | ||
| You cry sometimes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're just as hardcore as you are soft. | |
| I think you're equal parts, dude. | ||
| I will never claim hardcore. | ||
| I've never claimed hardcore. | ||
| I don't say it. | ||
| I'm more of a medium core. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Medium core. | |
| I'm balanced. | ||
| I'm all about longevity, balance, thought. | ||
| I support that. | ||
| Constant assessment of the path. | ||
| Don't try to run the furthest. | ||
| Try to make sure you hit the least trees. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nice. | |
| That's how I look at it. | ||
| I think it's super important to evaluate the next few steps. | ||
| Well, I think there's a lot of fucking continuing the same patterns that got people into the positions we're in now. | ||
| Watch the flailing. | ||
| A lot of flailing. | ||
| That's a great word, too. | ||
| It's perfect for it. | ||
| It sounds like what it looks like. | ||
| Flailing. | ||
| No, it's true. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| Flailing is like one of the best words ever, descriptively. | ||
| That's a good one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I flail all the time. | |
| Like you fucking flailing spastic. | ||
| Maybe you should call someone a flailer. | ||
| Damn, you got him. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| Right? | ||
| What are you going to say? | ||
| They take him down. | ||
| Fucking hardcore, bro. | ||
| You're a flailer. | ||
| Dude, you're flailing. | ||
| You're just running, flailing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The minute he used that word, they crumble and they're like, you're right, I know. | |
| It's definitely a word that like forces you into a bad position, you know? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| It's a very unsturdy word. | ||
| Flailing is not like, oh, you've got your footing. | ||
| It's like, you're fucking falling out of control. | ||
| Let me hold you. | ||
| I think conversations are, in a lot of ways, they're like numerical exchanges. | ||
| Like, you know, you say something that's 30, and she goes, oh, this bitch wants to get crazy, and she says something that's 37, and then you might just ratchet her right up to 90, and everybody's like, what in the fuck? | ||
| You're like, what happened to 42 in 1670? | ||
| But if we take away the cultural context of the words, she calls me a cunt. | ||
| My mother told me, don't let her girl call you a fucking cunt. | ||
| If a girl calls you a cunt, you stab her. | ||
| You stab her in front of your mother, it's fucking to the death, to the death! | ||
| Cunt is a big word. | ||
| But what are those things? | ||
| What are those moments? | ||
| Well, those really take away the cultural context. | ||
| There's a numerical value to the expression. | ||
| Like that girl hit you with a 90 bomb. | ||
| You're a cunt with a steaky pussy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| No! | ||
| That bitch tried to cut to the bone. | ||
| She tries to go through your emotions to get to your fucking nervous system and start chiseling in there. | ||
| I do that sometimes. | ||
| Chipping away at the fucking... | ||
| Do you do that? | ||
| Occasionally. | ||
| But I think that's what it is. | ||
| It's a dark place. | ||
| If you look at it not in terms of a conversation between two people that are being mean to each other, throw all that stuff away. | ||
| Throw out all the cultural framework that we have. | ||
| You're watching a number exchange. | ||
| You're watching people play a game. | ||
| And a sound exchange, too. | ||
| I keep trying to fucking get it to sound. | ||
| It's a competition. | ||
| It's a competition. | ||
| There's a social competition involved in people being mean to each other. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| I really think that's what a lot, when people's like, you know, someone hits you with a 32 and you hit them with a fucking 40, you know, like, whoa, I walked away on a 40. Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, and I was gonna fucking keep going, but I decided. | |
| Nice clean kill. | ||
| There's a competition! | ||
| You go back to the water cooler, you talk about it. | ||
| This fucking guy comes up to me and he says, well, one day maybe you'll be a manager too. | ||
| I'm like, bitch, you don't think I know your fucking dad owns the company? | ||
| Are you out of your mind? | ||
| If you were to live in my life... | ||
| Specifically, what are you talking about? | ||
| They'll shut the door, they'll lock the fucking lunchroom, and they'll have these deep conversations. | ||
| I told this motherfucker, if your dad didn't own this company, you'd be buried under my fucking house. | ||
| So they go through it, but what are they doing? | ||
| They're number exchanging. | ||
| That's what they're doing. | ||
| They try to win some stupid social game. | ||
| We do that sometimes, but then we're okay with it. | ||
| It's all dynamic. | ||
| We fight hard. | ||
| We had a big fight last week. | ||
| I got out of the car, took a long walk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I thought I was going to take the train to the next city. | |
| You need me to travel with you. | ||
| We'll go to Africa. | ||
| Can I be honest with you about something? | ||
|
unidentified
|
She fucking hates me. | |
| This guy's been following me around. | ||
| You're right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I've spent the better part of the last ten years with you because I hate you. | |
| No, but it's true. | ||
| You know, it's something, the numbers game, I have a temper, for sure, you know, and some triggers, as do you. | ||
| We all have tempers. | ||
| It just takes different things to get there. | ||
| But the maintenance of this band that we're in requires a certain frequency, your fucking favorite word today, If we don't exist in that, there can be an imbalance and then it can build into this fight and then we'll fucking fight because we're in a fucking band. | ||
| But like... | ||
| Because we're two people that spend so much time together and go through all these incredible experiences but there's a certain... | ||
| And finish each other's sandwiches. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's a stress that comes along with it. | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I totally get it. | |
| And you know, dude, you're traveling, you're doing these shows, you're just living whatever. | ||
| Well, my relationship with the comedians that I work with is less intimate because we don't share... | ||
| We very, very, very, very rarely... | ||
| Same sandwiches? | ||
| Share a stage at the same time. | ||
| And we don't have to practice together. | ||
| It's a totally different experience, I think. | ||
| It's like you guys, if you have a bunch of friends that you consistently tour with, that were not in your band. | ||
| Talk about numbers. | ||
| Having the right combination of people. | ||
| We're in a used Cadillac Escalade, 2007. This is how all good romance novels start. | ||
| And there's room for about four people, save for our girlfriend. | ||
| Every once in a while, our drummer's girlfriend comes out. | ||
| Oh, that bitch. | ||
| No, she's great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's very sweet. | |
| Joan, Joan, don't do that. | ||
| First of all, I'm sure you're a wonderful person if you're listening to this. | ||
| I'm just joking. | ||
| I'm not talking about you at all. | ||
| I couldn't possibly be talking about you. | ||
| I don't know you, and they have said nothing wrong about you. | ||
| We're covered. | ||
| These are just jokes. | ||
| You have this combination of personal space. | ||
| And that cunt who keeps talking. | ||
| She's trying to read my text. | ||
| Listen, you fucking bitch. | ||
| This is your side of the bus. | ||
| This is my side of the bus. | ||
| You wouldn't even be here if you weren't. | ||
| Joe made and broke Honey Honey. | ||
| These are jokes. | ||
| I'm just joking. | ||
| No, but it's funny because, like, we will fight and then we'll have these great experiences, like, where we just... | ||
| You have to, like, work... | ||
| It's like we're all married. | ||
| Everyone in the band, you know? | ||
| It's like you spent so much time together to this point where, like, I know by the way that Ben breathes sometimes that, like, oh, he's... | ||
| He's really fucking mad. | ||
| Or he needs a sandwich. | ||
| Or you're just creating drama with your fake psychic powers. | ||
| We have psychic fights. | ||
| We have psychic fights. | ||
| I know you're mad at me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Now spit it out. | |
| I'm mad at you now! | ||
| Joe, please come on the road with us. | ||
| Please, please. | ||
| You guys need more people to bounce off of. | ||
| You need to get annoyed at me every now and then. | ||
| You're like, tell that fucking guy to just turn it off. | ||
| Turn it off. | ||
| No more jokes, no more funny. | ||
| No, but we have good dosing. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| We see each other every couple months. | ||
| I honestly do think it's like eating meatloaf every day when you're with the same person every day. | ||
| Like, you want to meet new people. | ||
| But you guys are achieving something that you couldn't achieve if you're just in this, like, crazy life where you went one way and you... | ||
| You guys got this weird thing going on because you have this weird... | ||
| You have this artistic synergy, I would say, in that, like, you're both very different, but you're also very... | ||
| You're very cool to each other. | ||
| Like, as much as you guys get in fights, like, when you guys are nice to each other, like, I can see, like, when you guys interact, that you genuinely love each other. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| And you're genuinely friends. | ||
| And if you do say something a little mean, occasionally, you're genuinely sorry. | ||
| And you genuinely care and love each other. | ||
| It comes out. | ||
| That comes out in your music. | ||
| You're not day players on a fucking sitcom pretending to be in love with each other. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You guys aren't fucking guys, studio musicians they brought in, never met each other, and they're going to lay down a track. | ||
| You guys have been doing this, and you have this thing you're doing together. | ||
| You have to deal with the fact. | ||
| That you're so intimate with each other. | ||
| Like, you're gonna annoy the fuck out of each other. | ||
| You are each other. | ||
| I mean, you guys are... | ||
| It's fucked up. | ||
| You can totally move on with your lives. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's beautiful and fucked up. | |
| If it gets too crazy, you totally could. | ||
| But right now, you can't. | ||
| Because right now, you're like almost one person. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| You guys are almost like one, like, really well-spread-out person. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| You just saved me so much money in therapy, I can't even tell you. | ||
| I'm glad because I can't afford it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You guys are too good! | |
| It's too good! | ||
| It's too good together! | ||
| You guys are too good together. | ||
| It wouldn't work like that with other people. | ||
| It would be different. | ||
| It would probably be equally awesome for both of you, but don't let it happen. | ||
| Because what you guys have right now, you've hit this, whatever this thing is, you got this ball of focus and experience and musical knowledge and love and it's all coming together with your own specific creativity. | ||
| And you guys are just, and you're putting out these songs that are like, whoa! | ||
| Like, they're not, like, they keep getting better. | ||
| Like, your shit keeps getting better. | ||
| Like, you have, your old stuff was awesome, and then your new stuff, like, grows, and some, you're putting layers on these things. | ||
| So, look, you gotta be friends. | ||
| You should do ecstasy every few months. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| That's the move. | ||
| Every like eight or nine months, just set a weekend aside where no one is going to touch their cell phone. | ||
| Just do a little Molly. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| That sounds like you're joking, but honestly, you said a lot of really beautiful things and it's something that is nice to hear. | ||
| Thank you for saying that. | ||
| You know, it's a weird life we live in. | ||
| Yes! | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's fucking hard. | |
| There's a lot of instability. | ||
| And, you know, but, like, we... | ||
| It's funny, like, when we fight and we go to our separate corners and if it lasts a while, like, it's weird. | ||
| There's, like, a real darkness. | ||
| It's weird, but it's also part of our... | ||
| Dynamic. | ||
| I think that's part of all what you're saying. | ||
| You can't exclude certain parts of it. | ||
| And if you guys had some sort of a specific relationship, like if you were a brother and sister. | ||
| It would be so much easier. | ||
| We have the same parents. | ||
| Those parents fucked. | ||
| And they created us. | ||
| And now we are children. | ||
| And this is my cousin. | ||
| This is my cousin Ben. | ||
| Yeah, his mom. | ||
| He's my brother's sister. | ||
| And that's why we're friends. | ||
| But when you're family with someone who you're not really family with. | ||
| I'm family with a lot of people and not all of them are related to me. | ||
| I'm family with a giant group of people. | ||
| You guys are clearly family. | ||
| You guys are family. | ||
| So whatever happens, you're always going to have to deal with that. | ||
| It's just not defined. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You're not husband and wife. | ||
| You're not mother and son. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| You're not father and daughter. | ||
| You're not brothers. | ||
| What's the noise I need to make with my face that means you guys? | ||
| And if you don't have that noise, oh, you guys aren't married? | ||
| Wow, do you think he's ever going to come in? | ||
| People go through that kind of shit in relationships. | ||
| What noise do I have to make that changes your perception of what this is? | ||
| It has to be defined. | ||
| What's the definition of a band of really, really close friends that make awesome music together? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| You guys two wizards? | ||
| A wizard and a witch? | ||
| What the fuck are you? | ||
| You travel all across the country together? | ||
| Okay, what do I call you? | ||
| What do I call you guys? | ||
| Are you guys accountants? | ||
| Are you married? | ||
| Is it a Mr. and Mrs.? | ||
| No? | ||
| Is it a non-gender specific designation of some sort of contractual agreement? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Oh, we're just in a band together and we love each other. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What the fuck are you saying? | ||
| Joe, you're like this angel man that came into our lives or something. | ||
| I don't fucking know. | ||
| And you guys to me. | ||
| I remember the first time I watched your video when you guys did that Angel of Death acoustic version on the roof. | ||
| I was like, whoa. | ||
| That was a while ago. | ||
| We've known each other a long time now. | ||
| What was the dude's name? | ||
| It was a crazy name that told me about it on the internet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Balls of Steel. | |
| Balls of Steel. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| Still, we don't know who that is. | ||
| He knows. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's all that matters. | |
| We don't even know if Balls of Steel is alive. | ||
| He's like a fucking superhero. | ||
| He has this knowledge. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's alive. | |
| He's definitely alive. | ||
| I've had a few people, you know, that's one of the cooler things about being connected to people on social media. | ||
| They'll connect you with something that you probably never would have heard of before. | ||
| Oh, that's amazing. | ||
| And then, just for you guys, we became friends, you know, in a strange way. | ||
| So that's it. | ||
| Yeah, it's been amazing, man. | ||
| Weird, right? | ||
| And it totally changed our band, honestly. | ||
| Like, it changed us from being, we can tour the country now, honestly. | ||
| And this has been a huge part of it. | ||
| Huge. | ||
| Well, this is the way I look at all podcasts, honestly. | ||
| It's like the idea of taking credit for the ocean when you accidentally stumbled upon an opening that turned something into a river. | ||
| Everything that everybody extracts out of what they find on the internet is essentially like you found a path, you hit a button, you pull a lever, and a river opened. | ||
| Whether it's a river of Honey Honey songs or Sturgill Simpson or Tom Segura or Joey Diaz, you're like some guy who's trying to take credit for the ocean because you've figured out if you hit the switch, it opens and the river just runs into the villages. | ||
| And then everybody finds out about Duncan Trussell. | ||
| And you just keep hitting these switches. | ||
| And so... | ||
| I can't take any credit for it. | ||
| All I did was stumble upon some switching station for all these super talented people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's how I look at it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's a cool thing that you're looking for switching stations. | ||
| Not even. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That's what's fucked up about it. | ||
| Yes and no. | ||
| You totally are. | ||
| It serves a pretty pertinent purpose for where we're at right now. | ||
| It's pretty cool and it's really great to witness the effects of what you do at the switching station when we're out on the road and all these incredible, incredible fucking people that come out that just love you and really learn from The things that you say, you know? | ||
| Well, they love you guys, too. | ||
| Somebody had the flower Honey Honey shirt at one of my shows the other night. | ||
| The grandma flower. | ||
| I have that tattooed. | ||
| You do. | ||
| It's a grandma flower. | ||
| Shazam. | ||
| You know how many dudes we're going to freeze frame that and jerk off to the end of time? | ||
| That's fucked up. | ||
| Let's just move on. | ||
| That's how it works. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That is beautiful. | |
| That makes me feel funny. | ||
| But kind of in a good way? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I haven't decided. | ||
| Make it good. | ||
| Connection with nice people online is one of the most promising hints at what's possible for the future. | ||
| There's this idea that because online is anonymous, and anonymous means you're always going to be mean, that's not the case. | ||
| You're always going to get a certain amount of people that are shitheads. | ||
| But those people, quite honestly, almost all of them, they're damaged and hurt people who got fucked over in life, and then they're trying to take out all that On all these other people. | ||
| I mean, that's the vast majority of what's going on. | ||
| But the amount of noise per capita is so high amongst cunts. | ||
| It's so hard. | ||
| Because most people don't post anything. | ||
| Most people who think you guys are awesome, who've listened to this podcast, who've listened to your songs, they don't say a word about it. | ||
| They don't tweet about it. | ||
| They'll come up to me at shows and they'll just tell me, oh my God, thank you guys for introducing me to Honey Honey. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, all the time. | ||
| All the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's fucking cool. | |
| All the time. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| But they don't say, they don't ever say, you know, I tweet about them all the time. | ||
| No, the people that tweet about, they'll say like mean shit, or they're just like... | ||
| They're the freaks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They have the freaks. | |
| It's funny, like, when you talk about like damaged people and stuff, like we have this song called Bad People that like... | ||
| I love that song. | ||
| Thanks, man. | ||
| But, you know, it came from this fascination with, like, why are people so mean? | ||
| Why are people doing shitty things? | ||
| Like, why do you bust a car window and steal somebody's shit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because you need their shit. | |
| Well, that's one way. | ||
| But, like, why are you sinister? | ||
| Why are you, you know, poisoning the cats in my neighborhood? | ||
| Like, there's this fascination with where that fucking comes from. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And we wrote that song, and, like, it was just kind of hanging out for a while. | ||
| I've been thinking about it for a long time. | ||
| When do you turn? | ||
| Were you born that way? | ||
| Because bad people come from nice families all the time, and incredible people come from fucking shitholes. | ||
| They crawl out of a hole. | ||
| But I don't know if there's any one answer to it, but all I can say is that there's a fascination with where it comes from. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| What do you think is more common for really nice people to come out of total shithole environments or for really nice families to have an asshole for a kid? | ||
| I think that inspiration can hit someone at an incredible, like phenomenal rate when you just don't even expect it. | ||
| I think you can have information just like slammed upside your head in like an instant and it could be the littlest thing. | ||
| And I don't know. | ||
| I know that privileged families, they have a comfort that That unprivileged families don't have. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And there's just a completely different perspective on need and hunger and emotional hunger. | ||
| You could be emotionally starved in any scenario. | ||
| Yeah, I think experience shapes so much of who we are. | ||
| And you can have a bad experience in any context. | ||
| It doesn't matter if you're... | ||
| You know what your I don't know your social status is you can still have a bad experience, you know, and it can still shape you and What do we value? | ||
| You know we I think in general we have good values things to be excited about we value kindness and generosity and things like that so it's rare and To see someone, and I don't know if I necessarily believe it, that someone who comes out of a series of good experiences just, boom, will do things. | ||
| Unless there's serious psychological malfunctioning, it's like, you're going to treat people as a reflection of your environment. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| But I think we also have this need to say it's this or it's that. | ||
| You know, it's a disease, or it's DNA, or it's... | ||
| It's never that clear cut and dry. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I think there could be a lot of factors. | ||
| And I think a lot of factors in your environment, especially your experience, they can kind of push your genes. | ||
| They can push the expression of your genes, right? | ||
| Yeah, you're fucking genetically predisposed to things that weren't even taught to you. | ||
| You know, like, your anger or your, like, addiction or whatever. | ||
| And, you know, I think at the end of the day, like, everybody's got their suitcase and we need to respect everybody's suitcase. | ||
| Because, like, what might be a shitty day for me could be, like, the worst day for somebody or vice versa. | ||
| You know, you never know what someone's volume level of their, you know, capacity for stuff is. | ||
| And you got to respect that. | ||
| You know, like, I'm like, oh, man, I don't want to get, but like, I had a bad day with blah, blah, blah. | ||
| And like, someone's like, oh, yeah, my father killed my sister. | ||
| You know, like, you don't know. | ||
| And that could be their worst day. | ||
| And I'm like, oh man, I thought my day was bad. | ||
| But at the end of the day, everyone has a different volume of what they're capable of experiencing. | ||
| And if you're not capable of experiencing it, you'll die. | ||
| You have as much as you can take. | ||
| And then if you can't take it, that's where it's at. | ||
| And even if you don't die, it's like, what are you? | ||
| What are you if you're not experiencing anything? | ||
| If you're not dead? | ||
| If you're just alone, silent, in a room? | ||
| You're like that lady that killed all those people and then left her alone in the castle. | ||
| But that was her suitcase, you know? | ||
| Cemented up room. | ||
| That was the suitcase she had to carry. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you're not experiencing anything, you're barely alive, though. | ||
| That's one of the tricks of being a person. | ||
| If you're not experiencing things, if you're not having ups and downs, re-evaluations... | ||
| That's why you gotta go outside your comfort zone. | ||
| Get weird. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You don't have to. | |
| Go to Austin. | ||
| Don't do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don't buy one of those shirts. | |
| Keep it weird. | ||
| Keep Austin weird. | ||
| Keep Portland weird. | ||
| Portland, I was going to say Portland. | ||
| Oh, don't do it. | ||
| And it's not your fault. | ||
| If you were about to buy it, going, this fucking shirt rules! | ||
| I was going to buy it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They've never seen it before. | |
| Yeah, if you've never seen it before and if you're really young and you have a head injury, I'm just kidding about the head injury. | ||
| These are jokes. | ||
| If you're a young person and you don't know how ridiculous it is to have a shirt on that says Keep Austin Weird, it's the same font in every shirt and it pretends it's handwritten. | ||
| Well, it evolved in a bad way. | ||
| At one point it meant something really important. | ||
| Not really. | ||
| Because the people that were crying about keeping Portly weird were fake weird. | ||
| All of them. | ||
| Every one of them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're all twats. | |
| But you love Austin so much. | ||
| Yeah, but the real weird people, they shut the fuck up and stay weird. | ||
| They stay weird. | ||
| They don't fucking protest. | ||
| They don't get together and make a Facebook page. | ||
| Keep Austin weird. | ||
| Sign up here if you agree. | ||
| Thumbs up or thumbs down. | ||
| What's it gonna be? | ||
| It's a hipster's world, Joe. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| They're only here because of supermarkets. | ||
| Do you ever see the hipster trap? | ||
| There would be no hipsters if they had to forage for their own food. | ||
| Did you ever see it? | ||
| It's a bear trap. | ||
| Supermarkets, you think? | ||
| The hipster trap is a bear trap, and in the middle is like a six-pack of PBR, a pack of American Spirit Lights, and like Ray-Bans. | ||
| Okay, now they should do the same thing, but with kale and alkalized water. | ||
| Veganic. | ||
| Make sure it's veganic. | ||
| And the Goodwill Cowboy. | ||
| Look, I love all those things. | ||
| P.S. Love me a good thrift store cowboy snap button shirt. | ||
| Well, I think the inclination behind being a hipster is good. | ||
| It's like they want to be above the stupid shit they see every day that's moronic and pedantic. | ||
| Is that the word? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Pedestrian shit. | ||
| That too. | ||
| That works. | ||
| To brass tacks. | ||
| You didn't do it, did you? | ||
| I sure did. | ||
| You know, I'm really trying to embrace my Midwestern roots and just fucking go with it, you know? | ||
| Brass tags? | ||
| No, brass tags. | ||
| I'm talking about the accent. | ||
| But you're totally right. | ||
| You already covered it. | ||
| You make me want to get Fargo on Netflix. | ||
| But first of all, I'm not that far west. | ||
| It's more like, oh my god, go Browns. | ||
| It's not as like, don't you know? | ||
| It's not like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's more eastern. | |
| It's a little less Canada, a little more Rochester. | ||
| It's a little less disgusting, a little more books. | ||
| It's still not sexy. | ||
| Let's call a spade a spade here. | ||
| It's not that bad if you can get him out of there. | ||
| It becomes sexy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like, oh my god, oh my god, Joe, you're so hot. | |
| That's not sexy. | ||
| I got tired of teaching ballet. | ||
| I gotta get out of this fucking town. | ||
| She's on the rock and roll tour bus. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| Hanging out with her first black eye. | ||
| Are you talking about me? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, I brought her to a sitcom. | |
| I was like, wait, I'm lost. | ||
| Listen, we just did three fucking hours of a single song, and that's not going to happen. | ||
| We can't do that. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So what we're going to do, since you guys are... | ||
| Look, I know how you think. | ||
| This is what we're going to do. | ||
| This is no time for driving. | ||
| We don't have to sing. | ||
| We could just talk. | ||
| This is what we're going to do. | ||
| We're going to take a bathroom break. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Exactly. | ||
| See? | ||
| And then we'll come back, and we'll do a second podcast where we talk way less shit. | ||
| Did we do okay? | ||
| Yeah, it was awesome. | ||
| Do you think we made a bunch of unfans? | ||
| Well, it's quarter to seven though, right? | ||
| Non-Rockers? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're right. | |
| Yeah, we got about 20 minutes, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| We got 20 minutes, but I think it'd be better if we did two different podcasts. | ||
| I think it's cool. | ||
| We should also talk about our tour. | ||
| We're on tour right now. | ||
| We should definitely do that in both podcasts, especially the ones where they get to see how good you guys are. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, Ben, we need to talk about the tour and the new video we just talked about. | |
| We're good. | ||
| On the treadmill right now. | ||
| You fuck! | ||
| I've been running for two hours and 20 minutes. | ||
| I don't want to hear you talk. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Joe Rogan, make them sing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit. | |
| Okay, we can do this. | ||
| There's something bad about this. | ||
| This is all super positive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's good. | |
| So we'll take a little pee break. | ||
| We're going to take a pee break and we're going to come back. | ||
| And we're going to come back with a completely different podcast and a totally mellow vibe. | ||
| We're going to do what Americans in 2015 called Hug It Out. | ||
| Oh shit, I love hugs. | ||
| And we're going to prepare for the next hour. | ||
| The next hour, we're just going to have a good time. | ||
| So this is bonus footage coming up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know how that's possible. | |
| You fucking monsters. | ||
| We'll see you soon. |
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