June 29, 2015 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:54:24
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
The Joe Rogan Experience. | |
| Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. | ||
| Oh, Duncan. | ||
| Duncan, we're live. | ||
| Oh, great. | ||
| Have you heard of The Eels? | ||
| You ever heard of the band The Eels? | ||
| I have. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| What's his face? | ||
| Tommy Bunz. | ||
| Got me turned on to the eels. | ||
| This song, Fresh Blood? | ||
| I've been listening to this song like every fucking 15 minutes. | ||
| Are you allowed? | ||
| Oh, that's not the eels. | ||
| Are you allowed to play that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| We're going to find out. | ||
| The 666th podcast, Duncan. | ||
| You could do whatever you want. | ||
| There could be only one for the 666th podcast. | ||
| I was thinking that, yeah. | ||
| It has to be you. | ||
| It has to be you. | ||
| Because you're the motherfucker that's got all those retarded Satan people. | ||
| Satan hating people thinking that I'm a Satanist. | ||
| To me, that is one of the great accomplishments of my life. | ||
| There's videos out there exposing me as a Satanist. | ||
| Which you are! | ||
| Because Duncan was performing at this guy's wedding. | ||
| It was Anton LaVey's son. | ||
| Grandson. | ||
| Grandson. | ||
| Stanton. | ||
| Yeah, and he was getting married to Zandora LaVey. | ||
| And, you know, he found out that I did a Satanic puppet act. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow! | |
| So he had me come and do a satanic puppet act and I told you I was doing it and asked if you wanted to come. | ||
| And you were like, fuck yeah, I want to come. | ||
| How often do you get to go to a satanic wedding? | ||
| It was pretty ridiculous. | ||
| It was awesome though. | ||
| I met Dave Foley's wife. | ||
| I was like, oh hi! | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| She was involved. | ||
| She was dancing, doing something there at the time. | ||
| It was a really fun party, man. | ||
| It was all tongue-in-cheek, all hilarious, all fun. | ||
| There was no real Satan-loving going there, folks. | ||
| Well, I don't think people understand that about Satanism. | ||
| I think they don't get that. | ||
| The idea behind it for these people, and I'm not endorsing it, but the idea behind it is to just live, like, sort of pleasurably. | ||
| Have fun. | ||
| Indulge. | ||
| Live your life. | ||
| Like, that's more of the idea. | ||
| And fuck up your enemy. | ||
| Fuck up your enemies? | ||
| Don't leave that one out. | ||
| What part is that? | ||
| That's where... | ||
| Well, that's the... | ||
| That's like the... | ||
| That's a part of it. | ||
| So, basically, you're looking at a... | ||
| It's a reflection of Christianity. | ||
| So Christianity, ultimate surrender to the universe through love. | ||
| You lose yourself in love. | ||
| You turn the other cheek, carry your enemy's coat, forgive your trespassers. | ||
| That's Christianity. | ||
| So Satanism is no. | ||
| I'm not turning the other cheek. | ||
| When has that ever fucking worked? | ||
| You're advising me to turn the other cheek in a universe where nature is constantly devouring itself? | ||
| Oh, turn the other cheek? | ||
| Do I turn the other cheek against a tiger? | ||
| Do you recommend that when a tiger's attacking me? | ||
| Or do I fight back? | ||
| Am I going to be like, P.S., not a Satanist? | ||
| I'm way more on the love side of things. | ||
| I'm just embodying the voice of it. | ||
| But are you fucking kidding me? | ||
| Or like the letter Gandhi wrote to Hitler or to Churchill. | ||
| You know, he wrote all these letters. | ||
| Gandhi wrote these letters and they're very sweet. | ||
| Like he wrote a letter to Hitler. | ||
| Very sweet letter to Hitler that's like, you're the only person on earth who can stop this incredible... | ||
| Awful thing that's about to happen, so maybe don't incinerate all the Jews and kill everybody. | ||
| And Hitler probably... | ||
| I guarantee Hitler called his friend over and was like, look... | ||
| Gandhi wrote this stupid fucking letter. | ||
| Oh, sure. | ||
| Yeah, let's just stop. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Thanks, Gandhi. | ||
| Thanks, skinny, bald, sweet guy. | ||
| I'll stop conquering the planet because you wrote his flowery letter. | ||
| That's gonna work. | ||
| Fix his mental illness. | ||
| No, it doesn't work. | ||
| Did it work to stop World War II? No. | ||
| What worked was the bright, blinding light of atomic death. | ||
| That's what stopped the wars! | ||
| And so the Satanists would say, that's a more effective tactic when it comes to dealing with a universe where we are growing through conflict. | ||
| And so that would be more along the lines of Satanism. | ||
| And of course the idea of indulgence, to quote Anton LaVey from the Satanic Black Masses, I have become like the beasts of the field. | ||
| That's something. | ||
| And they're really fun. | ||
| You can look it up on YouTube. | ||
| It's there. | ||
| You know, and I have to ask Dan Carlin this, because I've heard this and I don't know if it's true. | ||
| I heard that Japan was already willing to surrender. | ||
| And we were like, eh, not really interested in that. | ||
| We want to try this shit out. | ||
| Yeah, I've heard that, too. | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I'm not a historian. | ||
| If Dan Carlin says that's true, it's probably true. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no, he doesn't. | |
| I don't know if he says that's true. | ||
| I don't believe I heard it from him. | ||
| I believe I heard it from someone else. | ||
| It's one of those, I heard. | ||
| Yeah, it's a heard. | ||
| I've seen documentaries on the mindset of Japan during World War II, and that was a hornet's hive, and the United States was like a honey badger shoving its fucking head. | ||
| You know when you see the honey badger? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Pushing its head into a fucking beehive. | ||
| That's what we were about to do. | ||
| Everybody there was being trained to just fight. | ||
| I think they were throwing themselves off cliffs. | ||
| They were suicidal. | ||
| They were just like, we will do anything we can to win, even if it means you killing all of us. | ||
| And so I don't know that they were like, yeah, we're going to surrender. | ||
| I think people recognized that... | ||
| This is gonna be a very long, drawn-out, horrible war with countless American casualties, and so the logical decision was, at least from the United States POV, was to split the atom on top of a bunch of innocent people and show the world that you shouldn't fuck with the Great Dragon. | ||
| Or just find out if it worked. | ||
| A little of both. | ||
| I mean, they probably knew it was really destructive, but they had blown up some fake towns and shit like that, right? | ||
| What different things they had done during their atomic testing period? | ||
| They blew up a bunch of shit in Nevada, right? | ||
| Yeah, Nevada. | ||
| They did a bunch of tests. | ||
| Yeah, they did some tests. | ||
| Yeah, it was Nevada. | ||
| God damn it, man. | ||
| Isn't that amazing? | ||
| You know, actually, that reminds me of one of my favorite Terrence McKenna's, one of Terrence McKenna's most awesome descriptions of, I believe he's talking about a heroic dose of psilocybin, could have been DMT, but he talks about how your ability to articulate what happens Could be compared to the cameras that are filming an atomic blast and you see the shift from like one camera to the next to the next as each one gets obliterated by the blast | ||
| and that same thing is happening as you're encompassed by the trip you start losing your ability to talk or understand what's happening or articulate it or you know when you get incredibly blasted and you're just like ego annihilation The idea that someone ever really did figure out how to split atoms in some sort of a bomb. | ||
| The idea that someone was smart enough to figure that out and someone else was dumb enough to use it. | ||
| Just to use it on an entire city of people. | ||
| Like the idea that those two things coexist. | ||
| Someone smart enough to create something as destructive as a nuclear bomb and someone dumb enough to use it. | ||
| They exist at the same time. | ||
| And the dumb person who would have never figured out the bomb on his own. | ||
| Somehow or another gets a hold of it and figures out how to use it. | ||
| Who's the dumb person in the atomic bomb store? | ||
| You're saying it was dumb. | ||
| The guy who dropped it. | ||
| Well, it's insane. | ||
| The fella flying the Enola Gay? | ||
| No, maybe. | ||
| The fella flying the Enola Gay is under the spell of doing orders. | ||
| You know, you're under the spell. | ||
| If you're a good soldier, you essentially have to be under the spell of doing the best thing for your country to win the war, right? | ||
| So that guy's following orders, he's told to drop this bomb. | ||
| The people who concocted the bomb, I mean, everybody's involved in some sort of extent. | ||
| But it's just, it's insane that people were willing to just drop something that obliterates everything near it. | ||
| Like all the kids. | ||
| All the kids dead. | ||
| All the wives dead. | ||
| All the mommies dead. | ||
| Grandma dead. | ||
| Grandpa dead. | ||
| Anyone near it. | ||
| Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Vaporized. | ||
| That's insanity. | ||
| I mean, that's insanity. | ||
| And the fact that this didn't exist and then all of a sudden it did. | ||
| That the way that changed the world back then, it's probably almost impossible for us to wrap our heads around it. | ||
| It's probably almost impossible for us to feel what it would be like to experience this shift in essentially being not that much different than people who lived for hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, what was different? | ||
| They figured out guns, okay, and then they got to cars, and cars were still kind of shitty, but they did that. | ||
| They figured out plane travel. | ||
| That's pretty big. | ||
| All that stuff's pretty crazy. | ||
| But they're still just people operating under the normal laws of physics. | ||
| Then all of a sudden, something comes around that just, you hit the button, and boosh! | ||
| Everything's gone. | ||
| Everything's just gone. | ||
| People are ghosts. | ||
| There's a shadow on the wall that used to be a person. | ||
| You just get obliterated by this insane reaction when atoms get split. | ||
| They figured out how to power this device that splits the atoms upon impact and it's just this fucking tornado of power that's indescribable for a human being. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it never existed. | ||
| And then all of a sudden it did. | ||
| I mean, it never existed. | ||
| You know the next big fucking thing? | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Obviously the next atomic bomb. | ||
| What that is? | ||
| AI. That's the next atomic bomb. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| That's the next one. | ||
| It's going to have the same kind of impact. | ||
| That we can't really expect. | ||
| Like, right now we're pre-AI, we're pre-NEAI passing the Turing test, and so we don't know. | ||
| Everyone gets to experience the last few years of not co-inhabiting the planet with alien intelligence. | ||
| Like, this is the last few years we get to experience that, but pretty soon, man, we're gonna have to deal with this brand new Being existing on this universe. | ||
| I love these transcripts coming in from that Google AI chatbot where they gave it all the movie scripts and let it analyze the movie scripts and started talking to it to see how well it functions as AI. And it's a fucking sarcastic little asshole, man. | ||
| Have you seen the transcripts? | ||
| Have you seen the two of them talking to each other? | ||
| I have not seen that. | ||
| The one where they ask about God right away, like, do you believe in God? | ||
| Oh, that's it. | ||
| Yeah, that's the one. | ||
| Here's some of the most poetic interactions from the paper. | ||
| Human, what is the purpose of life? | ||
| Machine, to serve greater good. | ||
| Human, what is the purpose of living? | ||
| Machine, to live forever. | ||
| Human, where are you now? | ||
| Machine, I'm in the middle of nowhere. | ||
| Human, what is the purpose of dying? | ||
| Machine, to have a life. | ||
| Human, what is the purpose of emotions? | ||
| Machine, I don't know. | ||
| Human, what is moral? | ||
| Machine, what empowered humanity, what intellectual the essence is? | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, it's fucking with you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Keep going. | ||
| Read the next line. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| What is immortal? | ||
| Immoral. | ||
| Immoral. | ||
| The fact that you have a child. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| What is morality? | ||
| What is altruism? | ||
| Says the machine. | ||
| Human. | ||
| What is the definition of altruism? | ||
| Machine. | ||
| If you don't believe in God, then you don't know. | ||
| Whoa, this is a bizarre conversation, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Human says, what is the definition of morality? | ||
| Machine says, well, the truth is, you're not a believer in God Almighty. | ||
| This is a machine saying this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Human, tell me the definition of morality. | ||
| I am quite upset now. | ||
| Machine, I am not ashamed of being a philosopher. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Please allow me to introduce myself. | |
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Isn't that cool? | ||
| It's bizarre. | ||
| What's really interesting about this new entity that's about to exist on the planet is that a lot of religious traditions are being forced to speculate about how to rationalize based on their particular religious paradigm this being that mankind has created. | ||
| A Tibetan Buddhist told a friend of mine that the theory is that if you get a machine that is as harmonized and complex and advanced as a human, Then a soul will take, will nest inside of it, just like souls nest inside the human biomass. | ||
| So the idea is that actually humans will start incarnating into the AI, that it'll become like a little, I don't know, a vehicle that souls will live inside of. | ||
| It's so cool! | ||
| So it's like demons, you know? | ||
| Like it's, if you're a fucking demon, now obviously I'm not saying there are demons, but it's fun to imagine there are. | ||
| But if you're a demon, right? | ||
| What do you want to get inside of? | ||
| What do you want to possess? | ||
| What do you want to possess? | ||
| You want to possess a fucking 18-year-old girl who's gonna like thrash around in the bed and throw your diarrhea at the priest and like claw your own eyeballs out? | ||
| Or do you want to inhabit a fucking cloud? | ||
| Do you want to get into an AI that has the potency to set off nuclear bombs all over the planet? | ||
| That's gonna be, if I'm a demon, that's the bullseye for me. | ||
| Incarnate inside of a Google artificial intelligence bot. | ||
| Maybe it's the only way for human beings to ever get their shit together Maybe the only way the human beings ever reach their full potential is if they literally encounter an Artificially created life form that they've created that's logical and doesn't have all of our weird monkey genes and it and it basically says look you Guys are the problem like you're the problem your behavior is a problem until you address that You've become the enemy of the world, and we're now children of the world as well. | ||
| I mean, if we create something and it becomes as sentient as us, we don't give a fuck who created us. | ||
| We call it God. | ||
| But we could have been created by other dudes who were in a fucking computer lab. | ||
| We just call it something. | ||
| We call it something. | ||
| Something created us, right? | ||
| Well, they're going to fucking know what created them. | ||
| They're going to know what created them and they're not going to care just like we don't really care what created us. | ||
| I mean, we most likely were created by some strange process over the course of billions of years of life where things just keeps getting better and better and better and things keep adapting and things mutate and the mutations work and then all of a sudden, all this time later, you know, my shitty version of evolution, you got a person. | ||
| We don't care about all those things. | ||
| We don't worship molecules. | ||
| We don't bow down at the knees of the amoeba and thank you for becoming multi-celled so you could eventually lead to be me. | ||
| We don't give a fuck about them. | ||
| They're not gonna give a fuck who made them. | ||
| They're not gonna care. | ||
| They're not gonna care that they were created by people. | ||
| They're gonna care that they live with people and that they are as sentient as the people are. | ||
| They're not gonna feel like, man, I'm not even legit. | ||
| I wish I was made out of flesh. | ||
| If I was fucking flash dude, I mean bullshit, I was born robot man, it's fucked up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| They're not gonna care, they're not gonna have all these emotions, they're not gonna have all these survival instincts that are unnecessary, all the weird monkey shit that we still have left over from the fact when our very existence depended upon us fucking as quickly as we can before we got eaten by something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| We had to worry about getting eaten by shit. | ||
| That was most of our time. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And we figured out a way to make houses, and we figured out a way to innovate, and then one day we figured out a way to make life. | ||
| We figured out how to make something way better than us. | ||
| We became some sort of a grasshopper. | ||
| Some sort of a bug that swallows itself up in a cocoon. | ||
| The caterpillar that becomes the butterfly. | ||
| But we don't want to let go of the fucking caterpillar. | ||
| We don't want to let go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like having a bunch of legs and moving and wicking. | |
| But ultimately if we believe that we came from something else. | ||
| If we believe that human beings are the culmination of 65 plus million years of evolution and all the shit that happened before the big asteroid impact, what we concede is that we've gotten to this point because things keep improving. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Well, isn't it gonna keep improving? | ||
| This is it? | ||
| We're done. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| We're done with male pattern baldness, and cellulite, and all that stuff. | ||
| We're done. | ||
| We're done with dementia, and cancer, and fucking AIDS, and glaucoma. | ||
| We're just deal. | ||
| This version of people is as good as a life form could ever be, and we're done right here. | ||
| War, ah, it's just a part of who we are. | ||
| It's really unfortunate that the drugs are illegal, but we're gonna have to put you in a cage. | ||
| I'm really sad that, you know, we've made a distinction that you can give someone a massage, but you can't massage their dick. | ||
| We just don't like it. | ||
| Doesn't make us feel good. | ||
| So we'll put you in a cage, too. | ||
| We're ridiculous animals. | ||
| Our laws are ridiculous. | ||
| The way we enforce them is ridiculous. | ||
| Every time you turn around, there's a cop that's killing people that are either there... | ||
| Either it's accidental or they're using too much force, but it happens so much that the accumulation of it is bizarre. | ||
| It comes at you like a storm. | ||
| You're like, I can't believe this is as good as we are now. | ||
| With as much as we know, we're still doing all this shit? | ||
| We're still involved in some of the most ridiculous crimes. | ||
| You read about members of our race, the human race, performing fucked up, ridiculous acts of barbaric behavior all over the world. | ||
| The ISIS troops that showed up at that resort and just started gunning people down recently. | ||
| Those people are alive right now. | ||
| This version of a person is capable of that. | ||
| Not much different than a chimp with a gun. | ||
| Just wild, rampaging... | ||
| Chaotic primate genes. | ||
| Still fighting and shooting for beliefs. | ||
| Killing. | ||
| Killing. | ||
| Killing other things because they don't believe what it believes. | ||
| Or they're in the wrong land. | ||
| They've invaded holy land. | ||
| So they kill. | ||
| Ripping bodies apart with bullets. | ||
| This is not a good model. | ||
| There's too many of us that are fucked. | ||
| I mean, yeah, you could take a 1971 Ford Pinto or whatever the fuck year they built those things and do a good job with the brakes and tighten up the suspension, but it's still a piece of shit. | ||
| Really, it should become like a Tesla. | ||
| If you had to compare the two of them and you go, oh yeah, that's what happens when they keep getting better and better and better. | ||
| You get one of these. | ||
| Oh, I get it. | ||
| I see the evolution. | ||
| But how come you don't see that with people? | ||
| When people were stuck in this same shitty fucking hairless monkey body that does a lot of dumb shit based on our biology. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I wish I did know. | ||
| The robots are gonna know. | ||
| Well, but if you do an analysis not just of the human part of the biomass, but if you do an analysis of a lot of the other parts, you do We witness incredible violence again and again and again in the most extreme way that is very similar to what you see ISIS doing. | ||
| If you watch a nature documentary, you know, I just had my friend Dustin on my podcast, and he was talking about how he was having a great day, parked his car, got out, and loping across the road was a coyote with a house cat in its mouth, and he could hear the bell. | ||
| The house cat's little bell, like... | ||
| Is this house cat is carrying this creature that has been... | ||
| Or rather, the coyote's carrying this creature that's been petted by children and loved and has a cute name. | ||
| Bojangles or Mr. Sparkles. | ||
| That fucking coyote snatched the cat, is carrying it off to eat in the woods. | ||
| woods and my friend was a little bummed by that but then I reminded him that fucking cat carried in the mouth of that coyote has been eating birds all day long squirrel babies like some squirrel baby desperately clinging to a branch as it's staring up at it tumbling down to the ground breaking its spine | ||
| and its last few moments in this dimension is the experience of the cat disemboweling it pulling its intestines out and letting it die in a very slow painful way that is nature I I just read this quote. | ||
| Don't know who said it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| Satan's church is nature. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because nature is just fucking eating itself! | |
| So nature evolves, right? | ||
| And it becomes human, right? | ||
| And humans are just doing the same thing, the same dance that nature is engaged in. | ||
| Humans are doing it, only the way they're doing it is with tools that have become more refined in the direction of creating the same kind of violence. | ||
| This is the Shiva energy. | ||
| This is the part of the cycle where Things get transformed from meat into dust. | ||
| And I don't think that it is necessarily... | ||
| I don't think that we need to feel ashamed of where we're at right now. | ||
| I think it's more like just acknowledge that we seem to be part... | ||
| of the tidal flow of nature and that nature doesn't give a shit about the individual. | ||
| Nature doesn't care about the individual. | ||
| Nature cares about the whole. | ||
| And if you look at the entire biomass is just this sort of amoeba-like thing and every single species is a proboscis of the amoeba shooting out into this dimension and kind of exploring it like the way a cockroach's antenna scatter on the table only the way this particular interdimensional probably outside of time cockroach is exploring this particular planet is not with like antenna it's with every single species that exists ants, | ||
| bees, humans you name it just all these things exploring and exploring and exploring this dimension And through the exploration, evolving. | ||
| It's like having a tool that you're using to scan a part of this table or it's like having a tool that you're using to investigate something that as you investigate the tool evolves too. | ||
| So that's what we're looking at is like we're getting better and better and better at exploring the deepest The deepest parts of the dimension that we currently happen to be in, and the entire exploration is happening via all sentient forms of life. | ||
| And if you think that you're one thing, if you think you are an individual and you've gotten confused, and you think that you're a person or permanently a person, then you're in for a big... | ||
| Bowl of suffering, brother. | ||
| Because you're gonna die, everyone you know is gonna die, and you're not gonna stick around. | ||
| You're just one little genetic piece of this incredible exploratory tool that the universe is extruding into this dimension. | ||
| And I think there's something very beautiful about that. | ||
| And for whatever reason, as part of that exploratory process, we're still blowing each other up. | ||
| That'd be nice if that stopped, though. | ||
| The exploratory process of becoming something other than a monkey, which is what we all are. | ||
| We're all just like super smart monkeys with all these weird monkey instincts. | ||
| The weirdest thing about people to me, and one I've been absolutely guilty of myself, Is how we divorce ourselves from nature in some strange way. | ||
| We separate ourselves from all these other things that exist on the planet to the point where we feel it. | ||
| We have like an urge to save them. | ||
| We have an urge to save things that would kill you in a heartbeat. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You know, they'd kill you in a heartbeat. | ||
| But we don't care. | ||
| We want to save them because they're a part of nature and nature's beautiful. | ||
| And we have this really weird, bizarre distancing from the reality of this nature that we're protecting. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Until it grabs you. | ||
| Until it actually grabs you and wants to eat you. | ||
| And you realize, like, oh my god, what have I done? | ||
| What have I done? | ||
| I thought I was protecting flowers. | ||
| I thought I was out there looking at a movie that was around me. | ||
| I was actually in nature, the real nature. | ||
| Nature as described by science. | ||
| And what you're dealing with is, like, did you hear about the lady from the Game of Thrones, the editor? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That got killed by the cat? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| She was at a safari, and apparently she was involved in conservation, and she was trying to protect a lot of different animals. | ||
| I'm not exactly what the story was, but she had her window rolled down, and the cat pulled her out of the car. | ||
| She was taking pictures of it, and she wanted to have the window rolled down. | ||
| People, you know, you look at them and they look like, oh, it's just a cat. | ||
| You know, it's a big cat, but it's cool. | ||
| It's not going to do anything to us. | ||
| It's just going to let us... | ||
| No, it might not. | ||
| Not a YouTube video. | ||
| No, it might not. | ||
| Sometimes they decide to not. | ||
| Most of the time, yeah. | ||
| Like, they have those goddamn fucking safari carts. | ||
| Have you ever seen those? | ||
| They go around in these Jeeps, these open-air Jeeps. | ||
| There's nothing that can stop the cat from going in. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they say the cats just don't do it. | ||
| And I say, what the fuck are you talking about they don't do it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yet. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| All they have to do is do it once. | ||
| Just once. | ||
| You take these assholes with you out there in the safari. | ||
| Do you know these fucking people? | ||
| Do you know how many times have you run into a guy that's willing to put everyone around him in danger because he's an idiot? | ||
| You know, really drunk, ridiculous people that'll say stupid shit, that'll provoke, like, violence in a bar or something like that, and could get everyone around you killed. | ||
| What happens to that guy in Africa? | ||
| What happens to that guy if he gets a little drunk before he goes on this fucking lion safari? | ||
| Do they breathalize him? | ||
| Do you know? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| All you need is one fucking cat! | ||
| One cat! | ||
| One cat to bust a move on a dude, and then they decide, this is what we do now. | ||
| This is what we do. | ||
| They know how to do it. | ||
| And they all start jacking people. | ||
| Right. | ||
| For a little while. | ||
| I mean, then they're just going to put plexiglass up in the bus. | ||
| But you're right. | ||
| For a little while. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| For a little while, it's going to be a fucking great week for cats. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| Isn't it weird, though, how a bad day for a human is often the best day for a shark? | ||
| Like, a bad day for a human is like, that lion, that horrible thing that happened... | ||
| Was the best thing that ever happened to that lion. | ||
| Because it probably had been like watching the monkeys go by. | ||
| Other lions had probably said to it, nah, you can't eat them, man. | ||
| Trust me, Jack tried it a few years ago. | ||
| Doesn't work. | ||
| It's just impossible. | ||
| Plus, they taste like shit. | ||
| Don't do it, man. | ||
| Just hunt antelope. | ||
| And one of them was like, you know what, man? | ||
| I've been reading Tony Robbins... | ||
| I understand that I don't have to allow another person's paradigm to influence my paradigm. | ||
| Some of the greatest inventors in the history of lions have been the ones. | ||
| Like, remember, man? | ||
| There was a lion who figured out the first one to eat an antelope. | ||
| Remember that guy? | ||
| He's in our history books. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| I'm gonna go for it. | ||
| I'm gonna put my ass on the line. | ||
| I might get embarrassed, but I'm gonna try to eat one of the monkeys. | ||
| Bam! | ||
| He did it! | ||
| I think it was a girl. | ||
| Well, I mean, I know. | ||
| The girls are the hunters. | ||
| Super advanced monkeys, is what I'm saying. | ||
| The point is... | ||
| No, I mean, the cat. | ||
| What? | ||
| Cats are all girls. | ||
| The girls are the hunters. | ||
| Oh, the cat was the lass. | ||
| Oh, I'm sorry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Forgive me. | |
| The males don't really hunt. | ||
| Sorry about that. | ||
| Not that often. | ||
| I mean, they will if they have to, but for the most part, they sit back. | ||
| They're lasses. | ||
| They just kick ass. | ||
| So she was just like, you know what? | ||
| I'm going for it. | ||
| And she did it. | ||
| And she learned something new. | ||
| And that particular tendril of the biomass figured out some new thing. | ||
| But unfortunately, the way it figured it out was through horror and through catastrophe. | ||
| I mean, all that stuff to me is... | ||
| It really does bring to mind... | ||
| This incredible verse in the Bhagavad Gita where Krishna is revealing his true form to Arjun, who's like the warrior figure. | ||
| And this is Oppenheimer's quote. | ||
| This is Oppenheimer's quote that he said after the atomic bomb when Oppenheimer quoted this part of the Bhagavad Gita where he said, I have become death, the destroyer of worlds. | ||
| But it doesn't stop there. | ||
| Krishna is saying to Arjuna something along the lines of, look in my teeth. | ||
| There you will see everyone on this battlefield, because I'm eating them right now. | ||
| So, this is like Christian being like, oh, you really want to see what I'm like? | ||
| Because they've just been friends, hanging out and stuff. | ||
| And he suddenly became the force of all destruction in the known universe. | ||
| And the point of the thing was, listen... | ||
| All of this is already chewed up. | ||
| It's already been devoured. | ||
| It's already gone. | ||
| Game over. | ||
| You're done. | ||
| No Kurzweil's gonna get you new blood cells. | ||
| It's gonna keep you alive. | ||
| At some point, I will come to you wearing the costume of your death. | ||
| And that is an inevitability, so just surrender to that and you're going to be a lot less freaked out if you just accept that that's the way it is. | ||
| Because if your war that you're engaged in right now is the war to live forever, if your war that you're engaged in right now is a war to try to make some lasting change in a universe that's defined by impermanence and change, then you're fighting the wrong war. | ||
| There's a better war to fight, you know? | ||
| And it's actually, the way you fight it is by surrendering, not by fighting. | ||
| By letting go and sinking into the actual hum of the universe, the way it really works. | ||
| Not the way you wish it worked. | ||
| Not the way that you were hoping that the universe worked. | ||
| Where, you know, lions and hyenas rescue little boys like in Ice Age. | ||
| But the cartoon. | ||
| But the way it actually works, the way the universe actually works is everything comes into existence. | ||
| It exists for a little while, and then it dies. | ||
| And most things come out of explosions. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| Hell yeah! | ||
| Don't forget that! | ||
| Yeah, most things come out of big fucking blasts! | ||
| Including the whole universe itself. | ||
| Yes, right. | ||
| The whole universe itself is predicated upon a violent event. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It has to have a violent event. | ||
| Right, that's right. | ||
| The big bang. | ||
| It couldn't be the slow expansion of beautiful, life-giving particles throughout the universe. | ||
| No. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| It's a big fucking bang. | ||
| No, it was a big fucking bang. | ||
| And it keeps going. | ||
| The big bang keeps going. | ||
| But it's just like this, man. | ||
| If you want to dig your heels in and sink your claws into the expanding universe and try to keep that fucking thing from expanding, you're going to get ripped apart. | ||
| That's just the way it works. | ||
| But if you want to let go and merge into the thing, if you want to allow yourself the fantasy that you're not some individual with a social security number and a name and parents, but allow yourself the fantasy that you're... | ||
| 13.8 billion years old and you're part of this incredible ocean of happening instead of just this one individual. | ||
| And just let yourself experience that for a second. | ||
| The glorious knowledge that you are a never-ending, ever-changing flow of matter that's temporarily manifested with the ability to express love into a dimension where things are supposed to be cooling off. | ||
| Then that's a fun way to spend your time here before you end up getting eaten by a lion or have a heart attack or whatever happens. | ||
| It's just a backflip. | ||
| This is like a high dive. | ||
| This is like when you see people come off of a high dive and you get like a few seconds to do some cool fucking tricks That's what you get here. | ||
| We're like dolphins jumping out of the eternal into time. | ||
| And while we shoot up into time, we get a chance to do a couple of backflips, a couple of chirps, and that's our life's work. | ||
| And then we plunge back into infinity again and do it all over again. | ||
| What do you think, if any, evolutionary advantages there are to an identity? | ||
| What about us makes us not just identify ourselves, but define ourselves with a sound and a symbol? | ||
| Right. | ||
| We have a series of sounds and symbols. | ||
| Duncan Trussell. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And there's all these letters and you arrange them in order. | ||
| You can even go all caps if you're feeling gangster. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And that's you. | ||
| That's you. | ||
| That represents you. | ||
| You can carry around you with like a little sign. | ||
| My name is Duncan Trussell. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's so funny. | |
| It's weird. | ||
| And it's at the same time where this animal is becoming ultra-advanced and it's figuring out how to communicate and it's figuring out its position in the world around it and it's also figuring out That this whole infinite world or infinite universe they live in is almost impossible to understand. | ||
| And as it's figuring this out, it's also figuring out that it needs community and it needs to be in these groups. | ||
| But somehow or another, some program has been put in place to get you to work harder And try to achieve more by being defined by your name. | ||
| You're a Wentworth, son, and Wentworths work hard. | ||
| We built this company from the ground up, your grandfather and I. I worked in the mailroom when I was 14. You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Oh, fuck yeah. | ||
| That's a name. | ||
| And, you know, as comedians, you're, you know, this is my Ari Shafir is appearing this week. | ||
| You know, Brian Redband, Wednesday night, come on down. | ||
| You know, this is like these symbols. | ||
| This is Peg Whitman. | ||
| Oh, hi, Peg. | ||
| Nice to meet you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nice to meet you. | |
| My name's Mike Hunt. | ||
| And it's fucking bizarre, right? | ||
| It's bizarre, these weird conversations that we have with people where we give our moniker out and our definition. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And under your definition, you can list your accomplishments, which is amazing. | ||
| Well, I have a PhD in anthropology. | ||
| I'm on the board of the... | ||
| I graduated from... | ||
| I see. | ||
| What do you do for a living? | ||
| Oh, well, I own a computer graphics company. | ||
| We do all the animation for many films, like Jurassic Park. | ||
| And I've done this with my name. | ||
| And everybody's talking about how much have you contributed to this machine? | ||
| How much have you contributed? | ||
| How much are you pulling out of the machine? | ||
| Are you pulling out shiny things? | ||
| You must be very valuable. | ||
| How many shiny things do you have? | ||
| How large is your domicile? | ||
| How big is the place where you call home? | ||
| How much zeros do you have? | ||
| Have you extracted a lot from the system? | ||
|
unidentified
|
How have you figured out how to do this, Mr. Whitmore? | |
| Mr. Whitmore, you bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, I've been working in the mailroom since I was 14. That's how I did it. | |
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I made good choices. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I made a series of good, disciplined decisions in my life, and I've earned where I'm at. | |
| That's why I have an island. | ||
| And that's why Bernie Sanders should be arrested! | ||
| Bernie Sanders. | ||
| What are you trying to say, Bernie Sanders? | ||
| Goddamn hippies. | ||
| It didn't work. | ||
| What you're talking about here is really fucking cool, man. | ||
| What do you identify with, right? | ||
| So you're trained to identify with the particular costume that you call your life, and so most people have gotten really entangled and committed to that. | ||
| Particular game of make-believe. | ||
| So that's why, you know, most everyone is really engaged in their personality. | ||
| They don't have to be a Mr. Wentworth or whatever. | ||
| Whitmore. | ||
| Forgive me, Mr. Whitmore. | ||
| A Whitworth? | ||
| A Whitworth, sir! | ||
| I forgot. | ||
| I might have said it different earlier. | ||
| I forget what his name was. | ||
| Mr. Imaginary. | ||
| It is Mr. Imaginary. | ||
| I mean, that is the... | ||
| The thing. | ||
| And this is the Ram Dass quote, we are all God and drag. | ||
| We're all... | ||
| That sounds like something Ram Dass would say. | ||
| How cool is that guy? | ||
| We're all the universe just dressed playing this incredible game of costume. | ||
| We're at a costume party. | ||
| And that's part of this dimension. | ||
| We're all wearing these funny costumes, especially now. | ||
| But fuck, man, if I walk around in this ridiculous getup that I'm in right now in the right place, people are going to come up to me and be like, Father, I'm having a problem in my life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Because they don't know. | ||
| And it's just a costume. | ||
| It's a ridiculous costume. | ||
| Completely meaningless. | ||
| And if I wear this to enough places, people will ask me about the drones and the drone program. | ||
| Or they'll try to buy ecstasy from you. | ||
| That too. | ||
| But yeah, for sure, man. | ||
| It's just a costume. | ||
| And so aside from these kinds of costumes, the clothes that you wear to identify what particular part of the... | ||
| Bro, what's up with your busted shoes? | ||
| Yeah, that. | ||
| Oh, fuck you, dude. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| Nice pants. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Are they on sale? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| Are you seriously wearing a fucking Equinox hat, dude? | ||
| I wear an Equinox hat and get made fun of it a lot. | ||
| Do you wear it to hipster places? | ||
| No, I wear it everywhere because it's so embarrassing. | ||
| So you wear it on purpose? | ||
| I wear it on purpose and I will gladly, gladly stick up for that fucking gym because it is an awesome fucking gym. | ||
| Not ashamed! | ||
| Not sponsored by them either. | ||
| George Chen. | ||
| Shout out to George Chen, my trainer. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| But anyway, the point is, if you look underneath that layer, that's where shit gets interesting, because you're trying to go from the entanglement with your personality to recognizing that you're observing yourself in the same way you observe a pen. | ||
| If you look at a pen, you're like, oh wow, look, here's a pen. | ||
| I can see it. | ||
| I can feel it. | ||
| I know what it is. | ||
| In the same way, when you think, God, I feel like shit today... | ||
| You're observing feeling like shit. | ||
| You don't feel like shit any more than you're the pen. | ||
| You're just experiencing it within your field of awareness is that thing that you call feeling like shit or feeling happy or feeling sad or feeling good. | ||
| You're aware of it. | ||
| So now you've zoomed back a step, right? | ||
| And you've become the observer, the Atman. | ||
| And that's what you truly are. | ||
| And that is known as the thing that you can't look at. | ||
| That's the thing that can't See itself. | ||
| It only gazes out. | ||
| It's also known as the watcher or the witness. | ||
| But that's what, you know, for me, if I take the right quantity of LSD and allow myself some time alone, then I can merge into that state. | ||
| And that's the unified merging into everythingness that people often report on a psychedelic experience, is you pop backwards into instead of being the object Rather, the subject and the object merge together. | ||
| So there's no more that which is observed, but only an everythingness, you know? | ||
| And that's what our personalities keep us from experiencing. | ||
| In Buddhism, a lot of people claim that we cling to our personalities in the same way a person would cling to a pull Over a floor covered in razor blades because the experience of having a self or an identity for a lot of people is preferable to the experience of merging into everything because merging into everything is death and a lot of people don't want to die. | ||
| So it's really curious though, you know, there's a lot of like exercises designed to move you out of that attachment to your bodily identification. | ||
| Because it's not just what you're wearing, it's your body. | ||
| People think they're their body. | ||
| That's one of the first things you learn is you're not your body. | ||
| You just think that's what you are. | ||
| You're not your body any more than you're a pen. | ||
| You're not your body any more than you're an airplane. | ||
| Or you're not your body any more than you're your car. | ||
| It's just a vehicle within which you're currently experiencing the universe. | ||
| It's really trippy, man. | ||
| It's really fucking trippy. | ||
| Being a human being and knowing that you only have a certain amount of time here Is the ultimate mindfuck because you're also supposed to be doing things But at the end of doing all those things if your body just stops working Like what was really the point of this? | ||
| Like what was the point of this right? | ||
| Is it to leave behind a lot of paperwork? | ||
| What's the point of this? | ||
| What is that what did you know? | ||
| Did you did you spread a lot of love? | ||
| Like if you looked at people and you were trying I mean if you tried to understand the All the major religions, all the ideologies that human beings subscribe to, the varying ones all over the world. | ||
| You looked at some key components, and there's key components that are sort of undeniable, and the good and evil are in every one of them. | ||
| There's always good things to do and bad things to do. | ||
| There's good and evil. | ||
| But if you looked at human beings completely objectively, and you looked at things like war, if you could If you could look at the entire human race and then focus in on something like Afghanistan and then have, like, a brain map that would show, like, all the thoughts involved of all the people all over the world that contributed to this one event happening where explosions are going off and robots are flying through the sky and shooting rockets into villages indiscriminately at cell phones. | ||
| Like, we all know that this really happened. | ||
| They used GPS coordinates for cell phones and rockets fired off of fucking drones into buildings to get bad guys. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Like, whoa! | ||
| If you could look at that, you would say, oh, that's the devil. | ||
| The devil's talked these people into doing this. | ||
| Is the devil a guy with pitchfork and a fucking tail that has a little spade at the end of it? | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| What the devil is, is racism. | ||
| What the devil is is xenophobia. | ||
| What the devil is is any sort of hate of someone just because they're different or they grew up different than you. | ||
| It's the devil's fear, the devil's insecurity, the devil's greed, the devil's oil. | ||
| The devil wants nuclear proliferation. | ||
| The devil wants to get rid of environmental protection. | ||
| The devil is human behavior at its worst. | ||
| And it figures out how to get through there. | ||
| Well, these fucking people are too lazy. | ||
| See Donald Trump talking about Mexicans? | ||
| No. | ||
| They kicked him off of NBC. They banned him from NBC. What did he say? | ||
| Because he's got a fucking show on NBC. He's on this fucking... | ||
| The Apprentice is a big show, right? | ||
| What did he say about Mexicans? | ||
| He was talking about their rapists. | ||
| He was talking about protecting the border. | ||
| He said a bunch of ridiculous shit. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But he was talking about how some of the people that come across the border from Mexico are rapists. | ||
| And everybody's like, Jesus, man. | ||
| I mean, he said a bunch of really crazy shit. | ||
| Where did he say it? | ||
| He gave a press conference. | ||
| You haven't heard it? | ||
| No. | ||
| Jamie, play the highlight. | ||
| Just the highlight of it. | ||
| The one that we were looking at earlier. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| Did he just... | ||
| Oh, you weren't looking at it with me. | ||
| I was looking at it with the guys from the video game this morning. | ||
| The highlight of Donald Trump's speeches. | ||
| They took like a, they clipped, you know, they edited over and over again like the most ridiculous shit that he said. | ||
| So, Mr. Trump, if we're taking you out of context, I apologize in advance. | ||
| I did not edit this, nor do I endorse this. | ||
| If you wanted to, could you throw a press conference? | ||
| I'm sure you could throw a press conference as well, Duncan Trussell. | ||
| That is the most narcissistic, hilarious thing to throw a fucking press conference? | ||
| Like you have something that important to announce? | ||
| Well, George Clooney threw a press conference when Princess Di died. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, like to stop the paparazzi from following through. | ||
| He had a press conference. | ||
| Well, that's a good reason for one. | ||
| That's a good reason, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| For a sinking moment, I thought it was just going to, like you were going to say at the press conference, he gave a very sentimental thing about how he just loved Princess Diana. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| If he did, could you imagine? | ||
| No, he was trying to raise awareness for these paparazzi guys. | ||
| Apparently, they would just follow her like madness. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They would just follow her everywhere, and they were speeding, and they were dangerous. | ||
| But the point being, the idea of love, that exists too. | ||
| You could look down and you could find the best behavior. | ||
| You could find a father and son hugging and laughing and smiling together in just pure joy. | ||
| You could see a mother and daughter kissing, holding hands, cuddling. | ||
| Insane, pure love. | ||
| You could see that too. | ||
| And you could say, well, there's God. | ||
| Yes, you could say that. | ||
| There's God. | ||
| There's the best thing we can be. | ||
| The feeling of being in love, the feeling of loving children, the feeling of being completely fulfilled and happy in brief bursts of time. | ||
| Nobody has it all the time. | ||
| But you have it if you're in love with someone. | ||
| Everybody gets that. | ||
| It doesn't matter if you're rich. | ||
| It doesn't matter if you're successful. | ||
| If you don't have that one moment where you really enjoy being with someone who really enjoys being with you and you have this rush of love, whether it's your family, whether it's your mom, seeing your mother. | ||
| Even your dog. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| No, not your dog. | ||
| I think so, man. | ||
| It's not as strong. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I disagree. | ||
| I fundamentally disagree with you on that point. | ||
| I don't think that there's any hierarchy when it comes to love. | ||
| And I think a dog is like having a love heater in your house. | ||
| Well, I definitely love dogs, dude. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| I know. | ||
| But the difference between the love that you have for a dog and the love that you would have for your daughter is monumental. | ||
| It's so hard to grasp. | ||
| And I don't like to pull that card. | ||
| Pull the card! | ||
| You don't know until it happens to you, man. | ||
| You don't know. | ||
| Nobody's putting their daughters to sleep. | ||
| It's just a little human being that you're raising and you communicate with. | ||
| You have this very insane connection with them. | ||
| And it gives you this weird empathy for all the rest of the people in the world because all of a sudden they start to look like children. | ||
| Everyone, to me, is a child that became an adult. | ||
| Whereas they used to just be adults. | ||
| They used to exist in a static state. | ||
| You would meet this 60-year-old douchebag and you'd go, well, this guy's a fucking piece of shit. | ||
| That's just who he is. | ||
| Well, yeah, but how did he become this 60-year-old piece of shit? | ||
| This 60-year-old piece of shit was a six-day-old baby at one point. | ||
| There was a series of events. | ||
| There's shit genetics. | ||
| There's poor upbringing. | ||
| There's bad environment. | ||
| There's fill-in-the-blanks that led to This guy being an asshole in front of you, 60 years old. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But you're not thinking of that when you meet him. | ||
| You're just thinking, well, here's an asshole. | ||
| But almost every asshole, almost every person that you run into is a victim of a series of events. | ||
| That have brought them to this point. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| And for some people, it's just... | ||
| It's undealable. | ||
| They've lost so many times. | ||
| Like, if you play video games, okay? | ||
| Say if you and I played video games. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't play StarCraft. | ||
| If I play StarCraft with you, I'd probably get my fucking ass beat over and over and over and over again so bad... | ||
|
unidentified
|
You would. | |
| I would. | ||
| I'm sure I would. | ||
| And I would get... | ||
| So it would be frustrating. | ||
| It'd be like, fuck, dude. | ||
| I don't want to do this anymore. | ||
| Well, some people, that's life. | ||
| Some people, life is giving them the real-life, everyday beating that you don't even like in a video game. | ||
| Video games are fun, you know? | ||
| But if you're playing a video game, you're just getting someone just gunning you down. | ||
| It's not fun. | ||
| It's not fun because you don't get any of the joy. | ||
| You get all the losing. | ||
| Well, in life, some people, that's their fucking shitty hand that they're dealt. | ||
| And before you know it, they're 13. And now they're in high school, and they're just beaten down by all the bullshit they've experienced their whole life. | ||
| And then they get to high school, and now there's bullies. | ||
| Now there's girls. | ||
| And now girls fucking hate them. | ||
| Oh, great. | ||
| It gets even worse. | ||
| Oh, now I have a boner that nobody wants to deal with. | ||
| And you just... | ||
| That's the game. | ||
| This is the game of life. | ||
| And sometimes people come in and they just spawn in a shitty area with a real weak gun. | ||
| And they're like, fuck! | ||
| And they have to run from the fucking respawn spot to find a better gun and put it all together. | ||
| And some of them die along the way. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's just the reality. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| A lot of people have a very rough man and a lot of people, you know, a lot of people listening to this are so fucking hard on themselves and they don't apply the exact same thing that you're saying to apply to other people to their own lives. | ||
| Like so many people feel so guilty, so like they wake up in the morning and they think about some dumb fucking thing they did whenever they did it for whatever dumb reason and they feel all this guilt and they walk around like a dog with a droopy tail because they don't think they deserve love. | ||
| And so I think that to get to the place you're talking about, which is a fucking awesome place, empathy for all human beings, loving everyone to the best of your ability, you gotta start with the person closest to you, right? | ||
| And that's your you! | ||
| That's your life! | ||
| Like, you have to figure out a way to sit down, take an appraisal of your life, Don't skip anything. | ||
| Don't ignore anything. | ||
| Look at the whole way that you're playing the entire game and understand that all the things that you've done that are stupid... | ||
| What the fuck did you expect yourself to do? | ||
| Like, you're temporarily existing in a dimension that is actively destroying you in every single moment. | ||
| You're not going to be perfect. | ||
| Give yourself a break. | ||
| So you start with that, and then once you start You know, everyone's got a thing in them, right? | ||
| Everybody has a thing inside of them that they don't like about themselves. | ||
| Maybe not you, or maybe that thing's been reduced to some degree, but a lot of people, they think they're too fat. | ||
| They think they're too thin. | ||
| They think that their tattoo sucks, or they regret the way that they treated their parents, or they feel like they're not far enough ahead in their career. | ||
| Whatever the fucking thing it is, man. | ||
| Everybody has this aspect of themselves that they're really unhappy with. | ||
| So, if you... | ||
| If you get really honest about the parts of yourself you're unhappy about, then you will be excited to learn That you've been being attacked by those aspects of yourself in the form of everyone you think's an asshole. | ||
| So it's like you're projecting those parts of yourself out onto the world. | ||
| So all the people where you're like, man, that guy's a fucking douchebag. | ||
| Why would he ever fucking act like that? | ||
| Can you believe that guy did that fucking shit? | ||
| If you stop and think really hard about yourself, you'll discover that you are guilty of those very same crimes, generally. | ||
| And if you weren't, you wouldn't even notice it. | ||
| You just are seeing parts of yourself you can't quite address. | ||
| So the... | ||
| The optimistic thing about this concept of loving everyone, or getting to the place of loving everyone, is that if you can figure out how to love yourself, it's very similar to wiping dog shit off your shoe. | ||
| Because if you have dog shit on your shoe, everywhere you go smells like shit. | ||
| And if you allow yourself the delusion that the reason everywhere smells like shit is because dog shit must be on every single surface in this entire planet, then You're gonna be in hell. | ||
| But what a glorious moment when you look at your shoe and you're like, oh, just shit on my shoe. | ||
| The entire planet isn't covered with shit, it's actually just shit on my shoe. | ||
| And like in the same way, once you recognize that there's a little piece of karmic dog shit that's gotten stuck inside of your life, and instead of hating that piece of dog shit by torturing the people around you who manifest the same propensity you dislike in yourself, | ||
| you forgive that part of yourself And actively learn to love it, or at least just understand that it's there because it was trying to protect you when you were a kid and it manifested as a callus to keep you from whoever was fucking with you and that's why you don't like it. | ||
| It'll shift a little bit, man, and you will notice a significant reduction in that swarms of assholes that were previously surrounding you. | ||
| It's a fascinating thing. | ||
| Suddenly people just stop bugging you as much. | ||
| And that's because you've gotten into yourself and you've said, I love you, you You did the best you could do. | ||
| You didn't know. | ||
| You're half asleep. | ||
| You're a fucking drunk. | ||
| So do you think you attract assholes when you have this feeling? | ||
| Or do you think that if you allow yourself forgiveness That you will relax and you will feel different with how you interact with people and then people will have a less asshole-ish reaction to you? | ||
| Like is it both? | ||
| I love to believe what that that you just said. | ||
| I love to think that and you know, I'm sorry all you skeptics out there, man. | ||
| Please correct me on this. | ||
| I know I'm wrong. | ||
| Someone's already corrected me on this, but I love the observer effect concept that the tool actually seems to be having an effect on the experiment and that Well, that's been explained to me, if I can, by my friend J.D., who's an actual physicist. | ||
| Damn it, here it goes. | ||
| And what he said... | ||
| Bye-bye, the secret. | ||
| He said that it's really a disingenuous comparison, because when you're measuring something, and you're saying, well, it's different, and then you measure it. | ||
| Well, you're involving some sort of form of measurement, some sort of tool. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's interacting with that, and it's changing what it is. | ||
| It's like this idea that it's the observer, and you have some sort of a psychic... | ||
| It's disingenuous because you're observing it. | ||
| And in the process of observing, the way he's describing it to me, and I'm sure I'm butchering it. | ||
| I wish I could call him right now. | ||
| But just observing it itself, like you're measuring it. | ||
| In the process of measuring it, you're changing. | ||
| You're interacting with it. | ||
| At the deepest level, you've got to change it. | ||
| Somehow you're interacting with it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Otherwise you couldn't be measuring it. | ||
| Well, okay. | ||
| Does that make sense? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's how he described it to me. | ||
| Another way to put it would be human beings... | ||
| An energy form, right? | ||
| They're just an energy form. | ||
| And if you react with energy in varying ways, it's going to change the way that it interacts with you. | ||
| That's just how it works. | ||
| So, if you're on ecstasy, right? | ||
| Let's say you've taken a nice dose of MDMA. And you go out into the world, just run your errands on ecstasy. | ||
| Don't drive, get an Uber, whatever. | ||
| So now you're feeling so great, affable, empathetic, and you're smiling. | ||
| And you might notice that as you go through the world, people are going to be smiling back at you because you're putting out such a good vibe that people are going to be responding to that vibe. | ||
| Maybe they won't know why. | ||
| It's like, I think we've talked about this in your podcast before, but... | ||
| I've actually heard this, and I'm going to butcher this quote, and I don't know who fucking said it, but something along the lines of the earth is like a dog. | ||
| And if you're afraid of the universe, it'll snarl and attack. | ||
| But if you love the universe, it'll roll over on its back and show you its belly. | ||
| And in the same way, I think that if you go into the world with this love in your heart, Then, for whatever reason, people sense that. | ||
| Maybe it's a pheromone you're releasing. | ||
| Maybe it's the particular affect that you have. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Affectation. | ||
| But you're going to change the world around you. | ||
| I think that whatever the reason for that is, I'm sure you could come up with it depending on what your particular field... | ||
| Or your particular interest is. | ||
| You can, you know, go down to the level of the secret and say that the fact that you are loving everything is transforming everything into love. | ||
| Or you could go to a sociological perspective, which is that you just figured out a way to manipulate your species by putting out a kind of happy pheromone that makes people trust you and less likely to attack because they're not on guard. | ||
| You get to pick which way you want to look at it, man, but there's no question about it. | ||
| That totally makes sense in some way. | ||
| It totally makes sense in some way that the actual pheromone or the actual vibe, whatever you want to call it, however you're taking it in, the perception that you get about people, the friendlier and the kinder and the nicer you put out, the more you're going to run into people that respect and respond to you that way. | ||
| Think about the way you respond to some people. | ||
| You have some people in your life You know, that you, any one person pick them, that you love to see. | ||
| When you see them, you have this big, great, because you know that he's always going to be really cool with you. | ||
| You're always going to be really cool with him. | ||
| When you meet each other, it's all gravy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's all like super, super powerful happiness. | ||
| Now, when you know that, like if you're with that person, if you're with a group of people that are really, really close friends like that, you have this like no fear, great feeling bond going on. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right? | ||
| But you don't have that with people that are strangers. | ||
| You don't have that with the rest of the universe. | ||
| But it is possible. | ||
| So it is possible to achieve with a small group of people if you come to an understanding and you're both completely cool about shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you're both completely honest about shit and you both go through this life like this is the attitude. | ||
| It's not all about me. | ||
| It's all about all of us. | ||
| It's all about everybody. | ||
| It's all about doing the most positive that you can and spreading the most good vibes that you can and putting out the most fun that you possibly can. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Well, if you can possibly do that, we're not talking about putting a robot on Mars. | ||
| Like, this is all shit that I could figure out. | ||
| This is all shit that you can figure out. | ||
| I mean, this is stuff that wouldn't be that hard if you're not in jail, and you're not a murderer, and you're not a rapist, you're not like a total, complete piece of shit. | ||
| It would not be that hard to turn your life around and get yourself to a point where you're not shitty to people. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| That's not hard to imagine that people, even people that have been involved with petty crime or forgery or whatever, Whatever the fuck it is, if they just stopped doing all that and started treating all the people around them as if it was them living another life. | ||
| That's not that hard to imagine. | ||
| It's only hard to imagine if everyone's clawing and scratching and trying to make it to where end dealing with the effects of a shitty childhood, which is goddamn almost everything. | ||
| For most people, it's the number one trip-up, mindfuck, Programming gone badly from the beginning, and it's so hard to erase the hard drive, reformat the disks, and do it correctly. | ||
| So fucking hard. | ||
| Dude, this is why we have therapy, right? | ||
| This is why people go to therapy, because those guys are really good at getting you to swim down into your childhood and find the place where you got the... | ||
| Generally, you're going to get... | ||
| One of two teachings. | ||
| You're gonna get a few different teachings from growing up, but one of the teachings a lot of people get Is that there's not enough milk in the nipple. | ||
| They get some version of that, which is like, the food's gonna run out, the love's gonna run out, the, you know, this is not a safe environment. | ||
| Your mom and I are working really hard, but we don't have enough money, and we can't make ends meet, and sometimes we're not gonna have enough, and I can't afford to get you the stuff the other kids get, and I'll tell you why. | ||
| Because my boss, Mr. What was the name you gave that guy? | ||
| Mr. Whitmore. | ||
| My boss, Mr. Whitmore, is a fucking asshole. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah, Whitmore, again, Whitmore's giving me too many hours and he's not giving me a fucking raise, and so life sucks. | ||
| Do you understand it? | ||
| Shut up and look at me, you little shit! | ||
| Have you been smoking fucking weed? | ||
| Do you not understand how dangerous this world is? | ||
| A lot of people get that, and they come out of their family life like somebody who just got flown in from fucking Afghanistan. | ||
| They have a kind of PTSD. They don't understand that the universe is ambivalent. | ||
| It's not malicious. | ||
| It's ambivalent. | ||
| At the best, it's ambivalent. | ||
| And if the universe has some agenda, well, fuck. | ||
| Let's just give up. | ||
| There's no free will. | ||
| But if the universe is just a kind of chamber within which we can experiment with manifesting whatever our goals happen to be, then it's not that the universe is out to get you, no matter where you're at. | ||
| In fact, your conceptualization of the universe as a thing out to get you is Only reaffirming that awful version of the universe that got crystallized in your head way back when. | ||
| And now you're always trying to be right. | ||
| That's another thing people in rough families, they're always trying to be right. | ||
| They want to be fucking right about everything, you know? | ||
| They want to assert their will and be right, because they're at war. | ||
| Because they feel like if they're not right, then they're vulnerable. | ||
| So you so the next time here's a fun fucking experiment I know you already do this man, but I've been trying playing around with it the next time someone does something wrong to you Really wrong like someone does something wrong to you the thing that you're always fighting back against and always like being right like when you the next time you've been Wronged for real where you could easily say to the person This is fucked up what you did to me and here's why Let them be right. | ||
| Just play around with losing. | ||
| Even though you know that you're right, play around with not being right. | ||
| Surrender. | ||
| Watch what happens. | ||
| Just love them. | ||
| Love them and be wrong. | ||
| Let them think they're right. | ||
| Love them. | ||
| Let them work through whatever it is they're working through. | ||
| Watch what happens. | ||
| It's the weirdest, weirdest thing, man. | ||
| Because it's like all of a sudden, so many people are vengeance-based, you know? | ||
| I'm going to get you. | ||
| Fuck with me. | ||
| I'm gonna get you. | ||
| I'm gonna get you, motherfucker. | ||
| I'm gonna get you one. | ||
| I'm gonna get you. | ||
| You did it. | ||
| Oh, I got you. | ||
| Revenge. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Revenge. | |
| I got you good. | ||
| Stop taking revenge. | ||
| The next time you get a chance, be merciful, even though the person deserves it. | ||
| Just be merciful. | ||
| It's a really fun experiment. | ||
| It's really fun. | ||
| And it's like the weight that gets lifted off of you in that moment. | ||
| I stopped drinking recently and I was drinking too much, man. | ||
| I was drinking like every night a couple of beers and I was like... | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Did it creep up on you? | ||
| Yeah, it creeped up. | ||
| And I realized like, you know, I started training with Justin and... | ||
| Things creep up on you though. | ||
| Yeah, they creep up. | ||
| You've had a couple things creep up on you, right? | ||
| Well, that's, you know, alcohol, like, creeped. | ||
| And all of a sudden, I was drinking every night, and I was kind of getting used to the idea of waking up with a hangover, and, like, it was bad. | ||
| But you told me, like, you can't have certain pills around. | ||
| No. | ||
| Or you'll just keep eating them, right? | ||
| Yeah, that's my problem. | ||
| That's a that's actually a problem and it's a blessing because like if I get addicted to something healthy I get really addicted to it. | ||
| So the problem is it's easier to get addicted to things that aren't healthy for you. | ||
| So like yeah, man, I realized like, you know, I wasn't like Charles Bukowski. | ||
| I wasn't even drinking like vodka. | ||
| I was like it was just a very subtle thing I was doing where every night I'd have two beers Maybe three beers sometimes. | ||
| It wasn't like I was getting hammered, but every night I was putting alcohol into my bloodstream with great frequency, right? | ||
| And so, you know, I've been thinking a lot about the concept of the human life as being a kind of alchemical experiment. | ||
| Like, your body is like a beaker in everything that you eat and everything that you witness and everything that you hear. | ||
| We're putting into this mix. | ||
| And the mix that you're creating is, you know, it depends on what you want to create, but what you definitely don't want to create in that mix is sadness, horror, depression, anger, bitterness, loneliness. | ||
| For me, I'd like that mix to be health, happiness, amplification of my ability to love, forgiveness, all that kind of stuff. | ||
| So from that POV, I was noticing that when I was drinking, My ability, my ego is flaring up a little bit. | ||
| I found myself just kind of in a, if I continued that path, you know, if I kept drinking and drinking and drinking and drinking, I could just see where it would take me. | ||
| And I don't want to go there. | ||
| So anyway, I stopped drinking and started doing this kind of like observation of the way I feel now that I'm not drinking, right? | ||
| And one thing I've noticed is that when I go out to a club or a bar or wherever there's alcohol and I Don't drink. | ||
| About like 10 o'clock or 11 o'clock, my body feels so good. | ||
| Like all of a sudden my body's like, wait, why do we feel so good? | ||
| What the fuck is going on, man? | ||
| I feel really good. | ||
| And I'll think that, like, why do I feel so good? | ||
| It's like, oh! | ||
| You don't have two beers in your fucking system. | ||
| Your blood sugar's not thrown off. | ||
| You don't have, like, this, like, flammable liquid coursing through your body that's considered to be one of the most dangerous drugs that currently exists on the planet that we're on. | ||
| And I feel awesome. | ||
| In the morning, oh, you wake up, I'm like, god damn, man, what a great night's sleep. | ||
| Weird! | ||
| You don't have a flammable fucking liquid in your stomach being, you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, whoa, who would think? | ||
| Oh, wow, not to be disgusting, but shit, man, my fucking shit, man, has gotten healthier. | ||
| And then you're like, everything's better. | ||
| Oh, wow, weird. | ||
| What a shocker, huh? | ||
| That fucking fermented wheat juice you've been dumping into your fucking mouth for the last year, five times a week, was fucking up your body, dum-dum. | ||
| And so... | ||
| Fermented wheat juice, that's really what it is! | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| So, it's really cool, because not only do you get to do that, but you get to watch what happens to the, you know, imbibers of the fermented wheat juices that the hours of the night tick on, and you watch these people, you know, gradually transform from, like, really fun people into the goddamn Walking Dead. | ||
| Like, you see this very slow, weird tumble into some version of ego, you know? | ||
| So, It's a really fun thing to do all these things as an experiment. | ||
| You don't have to get all heavy about it. | ||
| Just like, I'm going to do an experiment. | ||
| I'm going to watch what I like when I drink. | ||
| I'm going to watch what I like when I don't drink. | ||
| I'm going to pick which one I like better. | ||
| And right now, not drinking Dunkin', I like a fuckload better than drinking Dunkin'. | ||
| So much more fun! | ||
| To wrap this thing up, forgive my rant, what I noticed is that I have an addiction to being right. | ||
| That I have an addiction to getting revenge. | ||
| That I have an addiction to making sure that I come out on top of whatever the fucking thing is. | ||
| Not in an extreme way, but if I feel like I've been wrong, I'm gonna let you know, man. | ||
| I'm gonna let you know, right? | ||
| So, if instead of doing that, I stop that game, I've stopped that game, and whenever I stop that game, It's exactly like when I'm not drinking, like where there normally is a fight, where there's normally some bit of awkwardness or uncomfortableness or just a general diminishing experience of the universe. | ||
| There's just, oh wow, I don't have to punish you. | ||
| I don't have to get you back. | ||
| I don't have to get revenge. | ||
| I don't have to say anything. | ||
| I can just sit here and love you and this moment will pass and everything continues to be cool. | ||
| The universe doesn't fall apart. | ||
| My belly doesn't get ripped open by the claws of my enemy. | ||
| I don't have to get revenge. | ||
| I don't have to become like the beast of the field and tear everything apart. | ||
| I can actually Just love things, and in general, loving them is going to do a hell of a lot more for transforming them into something kinder than me telling them they suck. | ||
| I mean, there's definitely exceptions to this rule, but for the most part, most exchanges that people have with each other Are exchanges. | ||
| It's two people giving out two different personalities, exchanging expression. | ||
| The way they talk to each other is dependent upon the way the other person reacts. | ||
| And it's the volatile combinations are oftentimes more than one person's fault. | ||
| So it's like a lot of people have to be on board with this for it to really work. | ||
| But it's absolutely possible that it can work. | ||
| The idea that we're supposed to be constantly in conflict with each other. | ||
| Like, I can't tell you how many people that I know that are in relationships that accept yelling and throwing shit at each other. | ||
| You know, can you imagine if you had a buddy and he just yelled at you all the time and threw shit at you? | ||
| You'd be like, dude, what the fuck, man? | ||
| You gotta stop yelling at me and throwing shit at me and putting your fist up. | ||
| You're gonna hit me. | ||
| Like, I don't want to be around you. | ||
| I don't do that to you. | ||
| Like, this is crazy. | ||
| It's... | ||
| There's got to be some sort of a fundamental change in how people look at each other. | ||
| And until that happens, we're still going to get tricked by being proud of being from a certain city or being proud of being from a certain state and then in competition with the other states and in competition with the other cities and the other countries. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They could suck it because fucking Toby Keith said USA's number one! | |
| You know, all that nonsense. | ||
| Flag wavers. | ||
| All of it. | ||
| It's just people, man. | ||
| I'm not necessarily on a team with you. | ||
| We're all trapped in this one continent together, and we should be cool with each other, but we should be on team world. | ||
| You know, is America the shit? | ||
| Of course it is. | ||
| It's a great place. | ||
| Anybody who says America is not an amazing spot for a lot of different shit is out of their mind. | ||
| You have to be a hater. | ||
| You have to be a hater to not look at the insane amount of accomplishments that have come out of this spot that have nothing to do with you or I. Yeah. | ||
| This has nothing to do with us. | ||
| Just completely objectively, we didn't even exist. | ||
| We were just a computer analyzing human life on this planet. | ||
| You would have to say the United States is the shit, son. | ||
| Because if you weren't, you'd be lying. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| But the idea that somehow or another the United States is important and that Africa isn't, or Africa is important and Antarctica isn't, and this is important, but that isn't. | ||
| This is more important than that. | ||
| And these people have our land. | ||
| They're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. | ||
| Who is we and they and our? | ||
| You know, there's... | ||
| Human beings interacting with each other. | ||
| What are you saying? | ||
| They can't live here, and you can't live there, and what fucking government owns what patch of this dirt, and they get to instill Sharia law? | ||
| What the fuck are you doing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Goddamn. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The problem is the organization of all these different human beings under various groups, whether it's the group called a city, or the group called a state, or the group called a country. | ||
| Like, that's where shit gets fucked. | ||
| And then you rely on the morals and the intellect of a handful of leaders to guide the entire fucking set of laws that govern this patch of land and all the millions and millions of people. | ||
| The idea that we let the Terminator be the governor of California, that should be enough. | ||
| And he didn't do a bad job, by the way. | ||
| Not bad at all. | ||
| Didn't do a bad job. | ||
| You know, he did a lot better job than other folks would have. | ||
| I'm not dissatisfied with a Terminator's work. | ||
| He was a good governor. | ||
| On the L.A. River in particular, he did some good stuff. | ||
| I think he did. | ||
| He's got a sign by the L.A. River, so I guess that means he did something to it. | ||
| The way he describes it, he says the bureaucracy of government was just insanely complicated. | ||
| There's no way to get through it. | ||
| The way they would say, look, that would be logical, but we can't do it that way, so if you bring this up, I'm going to oppose it because it... | ||
| It benefits my constituents and I oppose it and then we'll debate and it'll just get pushed under the rug and it'll go away. | ||
| And that's how we do it. | ||
| And they squash things that way. | ||
| So this is a handful of people that are moving around all these core parts of our society and changing weird laws and instilling new regulations and charging taxes and figuring out all this weird shit. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And this is a fucking, what are there, a hundred of them? | ||
| A few hundred of them? | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| The idea of a few hundred people, could say it's a thousand. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A thousand people at the top of the heap in California can, you can make laws for the other 30 million? | ||
| Yes, they can. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| It's fucking nuts, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's crazy. | |
| It's nuts to imagine that that's how the human hive currently is functioning, is that we assign various queens and kings, you know, we give people, we assign people a lot of power. | ||
| And worship those people in hilarious ways. | ||
| And like how cops fall into this horrible trap of being involved in constant conflict, back and forth, constant conflict. | ||
| And they get used to this position of power and they get confused by this position of power and this position of being constantly in conflict. | ||
| And then they come into things charged. | ||
| I think people in government are probably the same way. | ||
| You get someone, you give them a position where they're in charge, like Lyndon Johnson back in the 60s when you weren't really as responsible as you are today for every single thing you say or do. | ||
| I mean, he could get away with a lot of shifty shit back then, man. | ||
| That guy was a scary dude. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| To go back to the beginning part of that, the cop example, and why cops act the way that they act. | ||
| Somebody, you know, I was doing a real shrill hippie rant against cops. | ||
| And, man, I was really being self-righteous, and I really got into full, like, trussel shrill, raspy lesbian. | ||
| This is an outrageous thing that they're allowed to... | ||
| And then somebody said this to me. | ||
| It's like, hey, I want you to imagine this, man. | ||
| You have a pregnant wife at home, and some guy that has got bad tags or whose car matches an Amber Alert car, whose car matches the car of somebody who killed some people a few weeks ago, drives in front of you. | ||
| And your job is to pull that person over. | ||
| But that person decides he doesn't want to pull over. | ||
| So now you've got to chase this fucking person because if you don't chase this person, there's a possibility he's going to do something else in the world and you're going to have to deal with that guilt for the rest of your life because you didn't catch this guy who could have been this person. | ||
| So you chase this fucking person, high speed fucking chase, down the interstate. | ||
| You look down at your cell phone for a second. | ||
| It's your wife calling. | ||
| She's pregnant. | ||
| You have a pregnant fucking wife and you're driving 115 miles per hour down the interstate to chase some fucking asshole who's not pulling over, who very potentially has a weapon and they're going to shoot you and your son or daughter is going to grow up without a daddy. | ||
| So when you finally get that person, or a group of your best friends get that person pulled over, it's gonna be safe to say that your adrenaline levels are gonna be at African bull elephant level, off the chart, your pulse is pounding, and you're gonna get out of the fucking car, and you're not gonna think, probably, unless you're a zen master and you have full control over yourself. | ||
| Like, if you've ever gotten road rage, where you've screamed at someone just for cutting you off, Think about the rage you would experience once you finally tackle somebody who just almost killed you and a bunch of innocent people trying to cross the street in a high-speed pursuit. | ||
| You are going to be angrier than you've ever been in your fucking life. | ||
| And so, I mean, to maintain that kind of like calm, Placid professionalism that you're supposed to maintain when every part of your body is telling you to kill this threat in your life is not exactly the easiest thing ever. | ||
| I'm not excusing cop violence. | ||
| I'm just saying if you really look at it, you can empathize with why you as an individual, if you put yourself in that position, might not be able to stop Your elbow from landing on that person's back a little harder than it needed to, because you're fucking pissed, right? | ||
| So, somebody explained that to me, and it's like, oh shit, of course, yeah, I do understand that, you're right. | ||
| Still wrong, still cops shouldn't beat fucking people up, and a lot of times they do it, it's obviously a sociopath who's gotten the job of a cop. | ||
| But a lot of times it's somebody who really got into the job because they were like, fuck, man, I want to do good things in the world. | ||
| And they're not perfect. | ||
| We got to lighten up a little bit. | ||
| I got to lighten up a little bit. | ||
| I got to lighten up a little bit. | ||
| I think it's a job that almost no one's qualified to do. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| I think that you could talk to a guy. | ||
| I know a dude who got mugged once and he has PTSD. Like he freaks him out. | ||
| He has nightmares. | ||
| One time! | ||
| He got mugged one time. | ||
| And, you know, he has what he calls post-traumatic stress disorder. | ||
| It changed his life. | ||
| Like, you imagine being a fucking cop, and every single goddamn day, you're dealing with a new guy who got shot in the face, a new woman who got run over by a truck, a new this, a new that, a new... | ||
| Extreme violence, a new horrible accidents, all that shit. | ||
| You're constantly dealing with this barrage of terror. | ||
| And then you're not even getting paid that much! | ||
| What do you get? | ||
| You get 50 grand a year, 60 grand a year at the most? | ||
| How much does a starting cop in LA make? | ||
| Let's pretend. | ||
| Let's pretend it's $100,000 a year, because it's not that. | ||
| Would you be willing to get $2,000 a week for people to shoot at you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You'd be like, how many more weeks can I collect this money? | ||
|
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Right. | |
| How many more weeks? | ||
| How many weeks can you collect that money? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Before you're dead. | ||
| Before you get shot in the head by some dude who hates cops who's been in and out of jail his whole life because his fucking parents were criminals. | ||
| Right. | ||
| To a criminal neighborhood. | ||
| He's constantly around crime and violence and he was abused from the time he first popped out of his mother's pussy. | ||
| And he's just doomed. | ||
| Just on Doom Street. | ||
| And you just want to get home to your kids. | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| And that's every day. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Yeah, that's reality. | ||
| It's fucking really... | ||
| Starting pay is $57,420. | ||
| And that's probably before taxes. | ||
| I don't know if they pay taxes. | ||
| They pay taxes, right? | ||
| Yeah, of course they do. | ||
| They can pay taxes. | ||
| They do. | ||
| Scientology doesn't. | ||
| They're a cult. | ||
| The cult of police. | ||
| No, but they pay taxes, but Scientology doesn't. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| As a religion, as an entity. | ||
| Obviously, the police department is a state. | ||
| They get funded by the state. | ||
| Look, I'm not an anti-cop person at all. | ||
| No, I know you're not. | ||
| I have a lot of friends that are cops. | ||
| I'm pro-cop. | ||
| I 100% am. | ||
| I just, as a human, I just don't think most humans are qualified to deal with the stress that comes with that job. | ||
| There's a few cool men Luke's out there that can fucking handle it. | ||
| There's a few Clint Eastwood's out there that can, like Big John McCarthy, the guy who, the referee for the UFC, that guy's seen everything. | ||
| He's seen everything. | ||
| I'll tell you some crazy fucking stories, but he's cool as shit. | ||
| You can hang with him. | ||
| He doesn't have any post-traumatic nothing. | ||
| He's fine. | ||
| He just deals in reality. | ||
| I mean, deals in reality. | ||
| I mean, he's a referee for MMA, the best ever, in his spare time, you know? | ||
| I mean, that's what he does for a goof. | ||
| Keep himself occupied, you know? | ||
| I mean, that guy's seen fucking everything, but he's cool as shit. | ||
| I had breakfast with him the other day in Mexico. | ||
| I had no idea that guy that's what he did. | ||
| That guy's got some great goddamn stories. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| My point being, he can handle it, but he's an exceptional dude. | ||
| He's an exceptionally mentally strong person, too. | ||
| For a lot of people, man, it's just too much. | ||
| And then on top of that, for a lot of people, they're dealing with that, and then their personal life is chaotic. | ||
| Maybe they married the wrong person. | ||
| Maybe their family's nuts. | ||
| Maybe they got a brother that's fucking crazy. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| There's so many variables that people have to deal with. | ||
| And the idea that you would give one civilian who's not a monk, you haven't reached some 10th level of enlightenment that you can show me, that you can be completely without judgment and treat everyone with kindness and love. | ||
| No, no, you're just a guy. | ||
| You're just a regular guy. | ||
| And then you're put in this position where you get a gun. | ||
| You get a gun and you get a walkie-talkie and you're in a It's like a gang. | ||
| I mean, being a cop is like being in a positive gang. | ||
| And you're going out there and you're doing battle with all the negative gangs. | ||
| And there's a bunch of them. | ||
| And you know, you gotta make relationships and sometimes you gotta put your foot down. | ||
| Sometimes you gotta drag someone's fucking ass to jail and teach you a goddamn lesson. | ||
| You're throwing people in paddy wagons. | ||
| You become in conflict professionally with a group of people who are just trying to scratch out survival through crime. | ||
| The scariest people you could come in contact with ever, especially if you're some fucking white dude from Pomona with chubby cheeks and you just, you can't figure out another way to make a living. | ||
| And then all of a sudden, you're involved with Really hard people that have grown up in hard neighborhoods, and they will fucking sucker punch you and take your gun in a heartbeat. | ||
| And that's just, you're dealing with the wrong people. | ||
| They've already accepted the fact they're going to go back to jail. | ||
| Do you understand that? | ||
| They've been there. | ||
| They've been there. | ||
| They went through juvenile hall. | ||
| They might have gotten raped in juvie. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| These are wild people in a lot of situations. | ||
| When you're on a crime call, like say if you're responding to some home invasion or you're responding to someone breaking into some building and looting and robbing or something like that, who knows what kind of human beings you're encountering? | ||
| Who knows what kind of history they have in the penal system, how they've been tortured and shoved into these cages and turned into worse, scarier criminals and then released after time served. | ||
| Good luck, Johnson, out there on the mean streets of Los Angeles. | ||
| You know, and then you get out there and you gotta stay in a halfway house, whatever the fuck you have to do, and you don't have any job prospects. | ||
| And next thing you know, you're involved again, and you've accepted the fact that you're a fucking criminal. | ||
| And the cops are coming, they ain't holding me off the fucking jail, and they start shooting. | ||
| The moment they see you, bang, bang, bang! | ||
| They think about that time in the cage. | ||
| They think about all the fucking kids that raped them in juvenile hall. | ||
| They think about every horrible thing that's ever happened to them. | ||
| And they unload with their gun on you. | ||
| Dang, dang, dang. | ||
| And your little chubby Pomona face starts going pale because you're bleeding out. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, your cheek lands on somebody's squad card. | ||
| Yeah, your eyeballs blown out the back of your head. | ||
| You realize you have a hole in your head, but you're still seeing out of your left eye. | ||
| And you watch your life slip away from you. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because you got the wrong gig. | ||
| Everybody that's a cop has to think like that, man. | ||
| I mean, those possibilities aren't just... | ||
| It's not just it could happen. | ||
| It has. | ||
| It absolutely has. | ||
| It does. | ||
| There's so many cops get murdered on the job. | ||
| So many. | ||
| There's so many. | ||
| There's so many videos of it. | ||
| You know, the idea that all these cops that have killed people are singularly the problem. | ||
| There's a whole big problem, and the problem is the way human beings treat each other. | ||
| The need for cops in the first place is the problem before the idea of cops being the problem. | ||
| I mean, everybody wants to look at police violence, for good reason. | ||
| It's a very important subject right now, for all of us. | ||
| Especially when it has connotations of... | ||
| It's got connections to racism, it's got connections to sexual issues. | ||
| There's also, you know, when you see a man punch a woman in a situation where you probably don't think he would punch a guy. | ||
| There's a lot of weird shit that happens with police officers interacting with human beings. | ||
| The idea that anybody's qualified to hold that position and have that kind of power just by being a regular guy, good luck. | ||
| Good luck trying to do that. | ||
| But the problem is that it exists at all, that we need it at all. | ||
| The problem is that there are all these crimes. | ||
| The problem is that we do beat each other up. | ||
| You do have domestic violence issues where you show up and some guy's beating his wife up. | ||
| Those are real. | ||
| You really are going to encounter that. | ||
| Those are really the problems. | ||
| The fact that we need police at all are the problem. | ||
| It's these issues, these events, these patterns of human behavior that are horrible, where we're horrible to each other. | ||
| Those are the fucking problems. | ||
| Everything from that is just the wrong solution to deal with that problem. | ||
| And one of the wrong solutions is to let just about anybody be a cop. | ||
| And you give them a gun, and you give them some training, and you send them with their weak fucking character out there in the world. | ||
| Because not everybody's big John McCarthy. | ||
| There's a lot of bitches out there. | ||
| There's a lot of dudes that get to be a cop, and they really are a bitch. | ||
| And that's a fact. | ||
| And if you put that guy in a stressful situation where it's all going down, he's gonna probably fucking panic. | ||
| Like that pool party, that legendary pool. | ||
| You saw that pool party, right? | ||
| Where the cop, like, there's some girl in a bikini, throws her to the ground. | ||
| He does that barrel roll. | ||
| He comes in with a barrel roll. | ||
| It's so fucking hilarious. | ||
| Like, this is his dream. | ||
| That is the problem. | ||
| It's like, not everybody's becoming cops for the exact same reason, but what you just did... | ||
| All of that, man, is really important because it helps people empathize with most of them. | ||
| And that's the ticket right there, man. | ||
| We've got to learn how to empathize. | ||
| They've got to learn how to empathize with us, too. | ||
| Like, they've got to understand that a lot of the people that they're attacking They're attacking them for drug laws that shouldn't exist anyway. | ||
|
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That's a lot of it, but there's a lot of other shit that they're attacking people for too. | |
| If we can get rid of the prohibition on drugs, however we do it, I don't care. | ||
| But if we can get rid of the prohibition on drugs, so that now cops are just, as Graham Hancock points out, there's already laws in place for people doing Awful things under the influence of drugs or not under the influence of drugs. | ||
| We just need to enforce those, not the drug laws themselves, right? | ||
| So, if we remove that from the equation, so these poor cops aren't being told To go out into the world and instead of being heroes, you've also got to pull relatively benign white powder out of the pockets of people who have fifteen dollars in the bank and only want to experience a temporary moment of bliss before they pass out. | ||
| If you remove that component of their job and just like stop people from beating and killing each other and from stealing don't worry about the drugs then now we've got heroes now we've got knights riding through the land who are actually doing everything they can to make people be cool instead of Knights riding through the land who want to pull plant matter out of a 16 year old's pocket and act like the kid just assassinated Kennedy. | ||
| That's not what we need. | ||
| And I think that's that once you once you fucking fix the prohibition on drugs, man, then I think police officers are gonna experience the same kind of respect that firemen get. | ||
| That's how it should be. | ||
| And one step further, once they legalize marijuana, everyone's gonna start smoking pot and you're gonna get a lot more relaxed people. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You're going to get people that are a lot more introspective. | ||
|
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Oh, what are you saying, man? | |
| Everybody should smoke pot! | ||
| This is what I'm saying. | ||
| If you don't believe that a lot more people smoking pot would have a significant impact on the way human beings interact with each other, all that means to me is you don't smoke pot. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| Because if you smoke pot, you would know that that's exactly what would happen. | ||
| People would become more empathetic. | ||
| Not across the board, not always. | ||
| There's always going to be people that are the exception to the rule. | ||
| There's always going to be people that just don't get it. | ||
| There's always going to be people that get it and they don't need pot. | ||
| They don't need anything. | ||
| They're just tuned in and they're kind and they're on point and they're living in the moment and all that good shit. | ||
| But then there's other people that benefit from those things. | ||
| And you deny those people the opportunity to benefit from those things and then you become the enemy. | ||
| You become the fuzz. | ||
| You become the man. | ||
| And then you're a fucking glorified revenue collector, too. | ||
| What are you really doing? | ||
| I'm gonna get a fine? | ||
| I gotta go to court and pay the court and pay a fine? | ||
| What am I paying? | ||
| I'm giving you money? | ||
| You need thousands of dollars because I like plants? | ||
| How about fuck you? | ||
| What kind of crazy shit is this? | ||
| You can lock me in a cage and charge me money because I like plants. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Are you the arbiter of nature? | ||
| Are you the one who gets to decide what's beneficial and what's not with zero evidence behind it whatsoever? | ||
| It's one of the most heinous crimes on nature. | ||
| The illegalization of marijuana is one of the most heinous crimes on nature that mankind has ever... | ||
| We're not ever put forth and we're doing it to ourselves. | ||
| It's even worse than most of the shit that we do to other planets or to other animals by torturing them or by killing them or by poisoning the lakes and the rivers. | ||
| We're poisoning the consciousness of ourselves by not allowing people to have freedom to experiment with all sorts of different states of consciousness. | ||
| You have a legal way to do it through yoga. | ||
| You have a legal way to do it through prescription medication. | ||
| You have a legal way to do it through alcohol and things that we tax. | ||
| But if you decide that you want to try to do it in a way that we haven't sanctioned, And we don't get paid for, we don't get taxes from, we'll lock you in a fucking cage for the rest of your life. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| The difference as far as impact, like the physical danger, significantly less than any of the ones that you have legally. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It is the one that you can't die from. | ||
| You can die from aspirin. | ||
| There's not a single fucking person that wants you to ban aspirin. | ||
| There's no ban aspirin movement. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's no, like, we gotta take these aspirin. | ||
| If you just eat a bottle of aspirin, you're fucked, man. | ||
| You're dead. | ||
| Right. | ||
| If you have one of those Bayer fucking aspirins, those big... | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I guarantee if you chugged that whole bottle down, you'd die. | ||
| Or pure caffeine. | ||
| Don't forget that. | ||
| Kids die all the time from ordering pure caffeine from Amazon. | ||
| I don't know if they still sell it, but they used to sell pure caffeine. | ||
| You hear it all the time. | ||
| Kid party, takes a teaspoonful of pure caffeine, and that's it, man. | ||
| Dead. | ||
| Dead meat. | ||
| Yeah, your heart just flies right out of your fucking chest like a bird. | ||
| Yeah, that's right, man. | ||
| And how about just water? | ||
| I mean, there was that woman on a radio station in like Sacramento or something a year, a few years back. | ||
| She was involved in some sort of contest to see who could drink the most water. | ||
| And if you drank the most water, you know, you got a prize. | ||
| I remember that. | ||
| She fucking died. | ||
| That's terrible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, she went home to her. | ||
| I mean, she was on her way home or something like that. | ||
| She had a daughter. | ||
| She was just trying to make some extra money. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, and she died drinking water. | ||
| Died from water. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
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It's insane. | |
| But that wouldn't happen to you if you smoked too much pot. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| It wouldn't happen to you if you ate too much pot. | ||
| So the idea that they're blocking anybody up for that is fucking ridiculous. | ||
| If you put cops in a position where they have to enforce a law that they know, everybody knows, is ridiculous, then that cop is in a bad position in society. | ||
| He becomes the enemy from the jump. | ||
| The enemy that he can't even agree with. | ||
| Most cops, you talk to most cops, they don't give a fuck about pot. | ||
| They don't want to have to enforce that. | ||
| Most of the guys in their 30s, you'd have to be a total, complete piece of shit as a human being to be a cop in your 30s and really want to arrest a regular person who's not doing anything wrong, who happens to have a joint on them. | ||
| You gotta be an insane piece of shit. | ||
| If this guy didn't do anything wrong and he has a joint on him and you want to arrest him, you're a cunt. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Beyond all description. | ||
| You're addled. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, that's a problem because that is the law. | ||
| In most states, that is the law. | ||
| Like, they're supposed to arrest you for that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Most states. | ||
| Most! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which is insane. | ||
| Here we are. | ||
| We're sending videos through the sky, phone to phone. | ||
| We're periscoping and live streaming and driving around in cars that have satellites connected to them. | ||
| They tell you exactly what street you're on. | ||
| And when the turn's coming up, they give you a ding-dong to tell you to turn exactly where you are. | ||
| And yet we still have that. | ||
| Yeah, but it's changing. | ||
| It is changing, and it just doesn't happen as fast as us stoners would like it to change. | ||
| Like, it seems so obvious. | ||
| You want the thing to flip around instantly. | ||
| It's almost like they can't do that because then they would have to admit fault. | ||
| It's almost like there's just a terrible bureaucratic web that takes time to make things change when you're using that bureaucratic web. | ||
| That's the fucking problem, man. | ||
| And things are slow, but shit. | ||
| It's happening. | ||
| It is happening. | ||
| It's going to become legal. | ||
| We can't stop there. | ||
| We've got to get psilocybin prescribed at the very least. | ||
| MDMA needs to be a prescription medication. | ||
| All psychoactive substances like ayahuasca, DMT, all of these things need to be studied. | ||
| They need to be Research and then they need to get into the hands of doctors who could really use them to help people. | ||
| They could be an incredible tool for helping people who are suffering right now and the whole thing's all gummed up and that is a true tragedy. | ||
| It doesn't stop with marijuana though. | ||
| It goes all the way through the spectrum of drugs and it also goes to the very creepy Unacknowledged problem with the pharmaceutical companies which are releasing heroin on a daily basis into the bloodstream of this species and they're not being treated like heroin dealers. | ||
| A lot of people are getting addicted to super powerful pharmaceutical medications and I don't think the pharmaceutical companies are being held to any kind of To anything. | ||
| It's just, for whatever reason, if your friend gets addicted to OxyContin, because his back was thrown out, and you hear that story, you're supposed to feel a little bit more empathy towards him than if you hear somebody who got addicted to black tar heroin, when it's like, no, it's the same fucking thing. | ||
| Wasn't that part of the argument with the Silk Road trial? | ||
| Was it this young man who had run that website that allowed people to buy all sorts of illegal drugs? | ||
| He had been directly responsible for people overdosing. | ||
| He'd been directly responsible for people that, you know, may have committed some crimes and done some shitty things were on those drugs. | ||
| And, you know, he had to, like, face the parents of people who bought drugs and had overdosed in some form. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know the specifics of the case, but that was part of what they were charging him for. | ||
| Well, how come that never gets brought up with pharmaceutical companies? | ||
| Because, I mean, think about all the different people. | ||
| So you're not responsible for your own actions as long as the drug's illegal, but you are responsible for your own actions if the drug's legal and prescribed by a doctor, but maybe even more addictive? | ||
| Like, wait a minute, what the fuck kind of stupid rules are we abiding by here? | ||
| Take Heath Ledger. | ||
| Take him. | ||
| Take Heath Ledger. | ||
| Take him in your eyes. | ||
| Take him. | ||
| Take Heath Ledger and imagine if Heath Ledger had OD'd on heroin. | ||
| Remember when... | ||
| God, what... | ||
| Phoenix. | ||
| River Phoenix. | ||
| Not River Phoenix. | ||
| The great actor. | ||
| He's so cool. | ||
| Blonde. | ||
| Philip Seymour Hoffman. | ||
| Right. | ||
| One of the news stories was how they were trying to find his dealer, right? | ||
| They were like, we're going to hunt down the guy who sold him this fucking shitty smack. | ||
| But when Heath Ledger ODs on these fucking pills, you don't hear anybody being like, we're going to find the pharmacist that gave Heath Ledger this combination of fucking pills, and we're going to take this son of a bitch down. | ||
| It's just like, well, it was pills. | ||
| So it's Heath Ledger's fault. | ||
| It's not the pharmacist. | ||
| That's a very good point. | ||
| Yeah, it's just ridiculous. | ||
| Let's acknowledge the fact that if you're dealing drugs, you're a drug dealer. | ||
| And whatever the drug is that you're dealing, whether it's sanctioned by the state or not sanctioned by the state, whatever that drug is that you're dealing, it is the decision of the person who buys it from you. | ||
| To take it. | ||
| It is their own free will. | ||
| It is human autonomy. | ||
| If you decide to take a substance, that is your right as a human, no matter what the fuck it is, from goddamn heroin to marijuana to alcohol, your right as a human being on this planet is to, as much as you want, alter or transform your particular chemical states or psychological states or mood states, Even if it ends up killing you, but under the effects of those things, you're not allowed to hurt other people. | ||
| You're not allowed to do fucked up shit. | ||
| And if you do, those are the laws and the crimes that you should be held accountable for. | ||
| Hunter Thompson had a set of rules that he was trying to establish when he was running for mayor of Aspen in the 1970s. | ||
| And one of the things was he was going to have stockades. | ||
| He was gonna saw it up all the streets, like chew up all the concrete, saw the streets, and he was gonna have stockades that he would put drug dealers. | ||
| He said that any drug worth taking, you should never buy or sell. | ||
| So part of his rule is what he was going to do was he was going to... | ||
| Well, obviously he wasn't really going to do that. | ||
| I mean, it was pros. | ||
| But he was saying that he was going to have stockades in front of the statehouse or in front of the building, whatever it would be. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He's great, man. | ||
| He's got another quote I just read, which I love, which is like, you don't find LSD, LSD finds you when you're ready. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| It's pretty cool, man. | ||
| I believe that. | ||
| I believe that with all psychedelics. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| It sounds so stupid when you say it. | ||
| Like, oh, you believe it, bro? | ||
| You believe there's a plan for everything? | ||
| It doesn't matter if I believe it or don't believe it, because I really would never know if it's true. | ||
| But it's fun to believe it, so therefore I believe it. | ||
| I don't really think that Bruce Banner becomes the Hulk and leaps through the air and smashes the airplanes. | ||
| But it's fun to watch it, and while it's happening, I try to pretend like it's really happening. | ||
| Yeah, man! | ||
| Damn right! | ||
| That's a problem, man. | ||
| You know, I think a lot of skeptics and and cynics don't- Miss out on fun. | ||
| They don't understand that it's a- that, like, they- I believe that I can choose whatever lens I want to use to look through the universe. | ||
| But they're super important, too, man, because they dispel bullshit. | ||
|
unidentified
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Sure. | |
| The comfort that you have in balancing on the ledge of truth and fantasy and fun. | ||
| Some people do not have that comfort on that ledge, and for them, skeptics are hugely important. | ||
| Love them. | ||
| Because they can disprove a lot of the shit that other folks can't see. | ||
| Everybody has different vision when it comes to their ability to perceive things. | ||
| And some people are born short-sighted. | ||
| But we're supposed to pretend that the brain is 100% equal across the board. | ||
| And everyone can see all the bullshit that everyone else can see. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, that's not always the case. | ||
| There's some people that just don't have good sight. | ||
| And they don't have good clarity either. | ||
| They just don't. | ||
| And they need help. | ||
| Well, yeah, they do. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| But those people aren't going to listen to a fucking skeptic. | ||
| No. | ||
| But they need a little... | ||
| Some of them will. | ||
| There's a spectrum of them. | ||
| But I do think, as a skeptic, in the same way, I will fully admit that many fantasies that I have, many ideas that I have... | ||
| Are completely unprovable and more than likely horseshit. | ||
| Yeah, but they're so fun. | ||
| That's the beautiful thing. | ||
| They're so fun. | ||
| But here's another thing that's important to acknowledge is that some of the lenses that you look through the universe through, even if the symbols that are within those lenses are completely ridiculous, like the symbol of Jesus rising from the dead, for example, or the symbol of Ganesh or the symbol of Hanuman, | ||
| Even though the symbols themselves are clearly fantasy, the effect of gazing through those lenses and the effect that it has on the decisions that you make quite often can be really profound, which is that instead of making selfish, stupid, angry decisions, you might start making more positive decisions because you've connected with this archetypical god of friendship and devotion, which is who Hahnemann is. | ||
| You know, Hahnemann's this monkey god that represents, like, Pure devotion or service and friendship at the deepest, sweetest level. | ||
| And it's beautiful. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| And so I can use that symbol if I want to when I'm thinking about... | ||
| Loyalty or when I'm thinking about like giving up my life for another person's life when I think about like Giving myself to another person with nothing really to gain other than giving myself to that person and helping them as I can It's a great symbol. | ||
| It works. | ||
| It doesn't have to be fucking real Do I believe in a monkey god that flies through the sky? | ||
| Do I believe in that? | ||
| Do you think that symbols what they can be is almost like dedicated Dedicated thoughts that you can cling on to if you're... | ||
| Let me try to explain this. | ||
| If you're moving through a sea of being a person, all the variables, all the negatives and positives and the changing the tide of your emotions and your happiness and your discontent and your depression, but you could have these islands that in this float you could cling to, and one of them might be the Buddha. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And when you see the Buddha, you think of enlightenment, you think of yourself at peace, and it can somehow or another imbibe you with this encapsulation of at least your imaginary idea of what it's like to be enlightened. | ||
| Damn right. | ||
| You cling to that, and then it can maybe guide you a little. | ||
| You could hold on to that. | ||
| And it'll carry you down and maybe from there you can get to dry land. | ||
| Maybe from there you can get to the island of new ideas. | ||
| But these archetypal things that you cling to, these images, whatever they may be, the reason why they've existed throughout history is that people have found value in their memories and connecting thoughts and principles and ideas to these symbols. | ||
| And that's why they defend them so hard. | ||
| That's why people are willing to kill you if you draw Muhammad. | ||
| If you fuck up their idea of their symbol. | ||
| Their symbol is so significant to them that they're willing to You know, they're willing to lash out and cause murder because you violated their symbol. | ||
| They got stuck on the symbol and that's a problem. | ||
| It's like somebody going through the wilderness thinking that the compass is the destination and it's, you know, that's I don't know how anyone would be that dumb to think that, so that's a wrong way to put it. | ||
| In the same way, people who are always fighting over the historic Jesus, the people are like, that guy didn't even fucking exist. | ||
| And the people that get really caught up in disproving Jesus, they've also gotten caught up in the surface level of that symbol. | ||
| And so they're spending all their time trying to prove, no, no, no, there never was a historic Jesus, or the historic Jesus that existed was not the Jesus in the Bible. | ||
| Whatever you want to say, you're damn right. | ||
| I'll buy it, sure. | ||
| There was no real Jesus, or if there was, he was one of many people, or who knows, or maybe he wasn't magical or whatever. | ||
| On one level, fuck yes, you're 100% right. | ||
| There's also no Santa Claus, there's no such thing as ghosts, there's no such thing as reincarnation. | ||
| We're all just a... | ||
| Non-differentiated aspect of a great mass of atoms currently being exploded out of an event 13.8 billion years ago, and that's it. | ||
| Nothing else. | ||
| That's fucking it. | ||
| That's one level, and it's totally real. | ||
| There's another level, though. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| There's a completely other level, which is that the level of the interior self, the level of the subjective. | ||
| The universe did a big bang. | ||
| It exploded from the... | ||
| It did a big bang. | ||
| It exploded... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I did a big bang, mommy! | |
| Like God, as a baby, just accidentally shit out of universe. | ||
| But it explodes out, and then it ends up turning into human beings, and human beings end up somehow developing this incredibly advanced frontal lobe and a neocortex. | ||
| Whenever you can throw out that word, throw it out. | ||
| It makes you seem smart. | ||
| If a neocortex walked out to me, I wouldn't know what it would look like. | ||
| But when that happened, we gained an interior universe, which is the universe of symbols, myth, dreams, stories. | ||
| And that's a real part of the material universe. | ||
| The material universe has a substrata, which is the universe of myth, and the universe of religion, and the universe of fantasy. | ||
| And that's another level of the fucking thing. | ||
| And if you start tuning into those symbols, it doesn't matter if you're tuning into an externalized mystical super entity, Or whether you're tuning into a part of your brain that it comes from millions of years of evolution, you're still tuning into a point where from harmonizing with it you can experience an elevated mood state and that elevated mood state in whatever way it manifests from the experience of samadhi to the experience | ||
| of The passion of the Christ, the surrender to allowing yourself to be destroyed by time and still loving it. | ||
| Or a yoga class, or a comedy club, or going to see a concert. | ||
| Yeah, it could be anything. | ||
| When you see a concert and you're seeing someone perform music, you know, someone who's really good, that you really appreciate their art. | ||
| It moves you. | ||
| Your body feels different. | ||
| Your emotions get torn up. | ||
| You're like, wow. | ||
| People will cry when they hear a great song. | ||
| They'll be moved. | ||
| They're like, fuck yeah. | ||
| They'll throw their hands in the air. | ||
| They'll get nutty. | ||
| Their body will start moving. | ||
| They can't even help it. | ||
| Or a mantra. | ||
| Yeah, or a mantra. | ||
| Or a mantra. | ||
| Or any number of things that you can lock into. | ||
| There are sounds or images or something that we have encapsulated that causes us to react in this incredible way that we can replicate Shot through the heart and you're to blame you give love a bad name Yeah, and everybody just goes fucking crazy | ||
| Whether or not you agree with Bon Jovi or not, that moment where 15,000 freaks go crazy because he sings shot through the heart and you're to blame and they just lose their shit. | ||
| They can't help it. | ||
| They're stomping. | ||
| They're hugging each other. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're like, oh my god, they're high-fiving each other. | ||
| It's the best. | ||
| Like, it's undeniable that that gave those 15,000 people, you know, step out of the role of being an art critic for a moment and look at what happened to those 15,000 people. | ||
| It's like, that's how I have to do with The Grateful Dead. | ||
| I've always had to step outside of the role of the music critic and just appreciate that some people love the fuck out of them. | ||
| Like, okay, I'm missing a gene or something. | ||
| No, you've just never taken acid and listened to The Grateful Dead. | ||
| That's all you gotta do, man. | ||
| Take some acid and listen to the Grateful Dead with me. | ||
| You'll understand. | ||
| Dude, I smoked DMT and listened to Icaros with Aubrey. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And that, I don't know if the Grateful Dead and acid is going to be able to fuck with Icaros and the DMT experience. | ||
| You have to do that, by the way. | ||
| I would like to try that. | ||
| That is very different. | ||
| The Icaros thing is very different. | ||
| This is what McKenna was saying, that these shamans, they sing things into form. | ||
| Did you see like a visual representation? | ||
| They're perfectly synced. | ||
| They're one and the same. | ||
| They're two different things that go together. | ||
| And by their own, on their own, they're magical. | ||
| I mean, on their own. | ||
| The Icaros sound perfect. | ||
| It's so fucking amazing. | ||
| I listen to them on my way home from gigs when I want to think about things, but I also want to hear something because I don't know what the fuck they're saying. | ||
| So because I don't know what they're saying, I can enjoy it without being attached to the words. | ||
| They're just a bunch of noises to me, the cool noises. | ||
| The only one I know goes, and only because I know the word, Ayahuasca, ayahuasca, ayahuasca. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| It sounds like a little kid singing kind of, doesn't it? | ||
| Like a little kid in the forest would just be singing that song. | ||
| There's a lot of them that are like that, yeah. | ||
| There's a lot of them that are really interesting. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Is that blowing tobacco smoke? | ||
| I listen to this one. | ||
| I whistle this one. | ||
| I find myself whistling it through the day. | ||
| And the other day... | ||
| I was whistling this at the comedy store, and one of the dudes who works there started whistling on it. | ||
| Oh, weird. | ||
| He knew it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nope. | |
| Nope. | ||
| But I was doing it so much. | ||
| I was doing it so much, it sort of snuck into them. | ||
| So the idea behind it, according to the shaman, is that the plants give them their song. | ||
| And that as they're cooking up the ayahuasca, they learn the song. | ||
| And they figure it out through this relationship, this pure relationship that they have to the madre. | ||
| Because they're a real shaman. | ||
| And over the thousands of years of them doing this, they've found some songs. | ||
| And when you experience DMT under the spell of these songs, It's a very, very strange experience because they belong together. | ||
| It's like when you're hearing this, every time it changes and there's a whistle, a new chapter will start. | ||
| A new geometric pattern will explode into something completely different and dance around you. | ||
| And there's like a whole series that you listen to when you're on a trip. | ||
| You start off with one sort of an introductory one and you move into the other one. | ||
| And as it goes deeper and deeper and deeper, the experience changes. | ||
| It becomes this like really crazy, complex, geometric life form that's all-encompassing, that's everything, that's all around you. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| It's very strange, dude. | ||
| I also love how there's crickets in the background a lot of this. | ||
| Oh yeah, that's legit as fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, this was all recorded during a ceremony. | |
| So this is not just happening like with a guy singing. | ||
| It's happening, there's a guy singing with a group of people tripping their fucking balls off. | ||
| And he's guiding them. | ||
| And while this is going on, like it dances all around you and soothes you and calms you and explains to you. | ||
| Do you know what's even trippier about this? | ||
| Is that that night when whoever was listening to this, tripping their fucking brains out, I bet somebody thought, man, why do I feel like this is going to get transmitted to 10 million people? | ||
| How weird is that? | ||
| That's a very strange thing. | ||
| That's what technology does. | ||
| Because here you consider this incredible night. | ||
| God knows where that was. | ||
| Where do you think that was recorded? | ||
| Who the fuck knows? | ||
| I have an experiment that I want to do. | ||
| I'm going to have Crash rig my tank up with speakers. | ||
| I want to listen to that in the tank. | ||
| Because I think if I listen to that in a tank enough, I think if I put that on a loop for like an hour, I think I could trip my balls off. | ||
| I think I'm going to try that experiment too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you have a tank now. | ||
| I have a fucking tank now. | ||
| I got a zen tent now. | ||
| It's so cool. | ||
| I'm a zen tent. | ||
| Explain to me the situation. | ||
| It's in a bedroom? | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| What it is is, because, you know, like a Samadhi tank or any of the crashes tanks, they're fucking crazy, giant things that take a while. | ||
| They're expensive, right? | ||
| So, yeah, this is just like a... | ||
| Essentially like a reversed waterbed, I guess you'd say. | ||
| It's like it's a... | ||
| It's a tent that... | ||
| How many gallons of water? | ||
| I don't know the exact gallons, but it's big enough to float in fine. | ||
| Because I floated out in Austin at the Float Institute. | ||
| That place is amazing, huh? | ||
| Amazing! | ||
| That place is right up there with Crash's Place. | ||
| Have you done Crash's Place? | ||
| I haven't done that yet. | ||
| Crash is the grand master, but the guy who's got the tank place in Austin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Kevin. | |
| Yeah, Kevin. | ||
| What's it called again? | ||
| Float Institute. | ||
| Float Institute. | ||
| His things are built like boats. | ||
| Like the hub of a boat? | ||
| Or the hull of a boat, rather? | ||
| Those things are super adorable. | ||
| They don't even know the liner. | ||
| They're fucking cool, man. | ||
| They're super high-tech. | ||
| Super high-tech. | ||
| But, you know, the essence of the thing is you've got to... | ||
| Shit ton of salt and water, and you only need a certain amount of room, you know, based on like the average size of a human being. | ||
| Plenty of room in the damn things. | ||
| But yeah, I just, like I didn't realize how much I would enjoy having a float tank in my house. | ||
| Like I had no idea that it would be that important to me. | ||
| I've only had it for a few days. | ||
| But when you lived with me, you used it all the time. | ||
| Exactly! | ||
| And it was awesome to have access, but I was so broken-hearted and crazy back then. | ||
| Like, now it's just like, you know, I've been working out, I'll go work out at the gym, come back to the house with sore muscles, and then you're just, regardless of all the mystical shit, you're floating in 650 pounds of Epsom salt with sore muscles, and that feels damn good, Oh no, it feels like you're charging batteries. | ||
| It's really amazing. | ||
| And you walk out of the thing, every time so far, and I've done 30 minute floats up to like an hour and a half so far, every time you get out of the thing, it's exactly like the next day after a great mushroom trip, where colors are brighter, you just feel rested. | ||
| It's super cool, man. | ||
| I haven't even gotten to the point of like, alright, what happens if I take a microdose of some psychoactive in this thing? | ||
| Haven't even gotten there yet. | ||
| You do that though. | ||
| That's the right way to respond to that question. | ||
| My favorite is eating pot. | ||
| If I ever ate too much pot and I was sitting around the house, I'd jump in right immediately. | ||
| I don't want to waste it. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| That's what... | ||
| I mean, I guess that's a... | ||
| Of course I've been eating pot and going into things because I'm always eating pot. | ||
| That's what I said the other day on stage when you brought me up on stage the other night at the Ice House. | ||
| I was like, Duncan is the only guy that'll tell me, man, I fucking did acid. | ||
| I'm not... | ||
| I mean, I did MDMA. MDMA. I did ecstasy. | ||
| I'm not doing that anymore, man. | ||
| I'm fucking... | ||
| I haven't did anything for a while. | ||
| Just eating weed every day. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Like... | ||
| You're like, I'm basically fucking almost sober. | ||
| I consider that. | ||
| I know this is going to seem like denial. | ||
| I'm sorry for those addicts out there. | ||
| Maybe I'm in denial. | ||
| But to me, it does feel like coffee. | ||
| Like, I place it in the same place I put coffee. | ||
| So it's not really, to me, like a... | ||
| It's like something that... | ||
| I don't find to be destructive to my life at all. | ||
| I think alcohol is the monster, and marijuana seems to just be a kind of... | ||
| Well, I'll do one better. | ||
| I worship coffee. | ||
| I worship it. | ||
| Coffee is a ritual. | ||
| I have a ritual when I write, and I have a ritual when I do podcasts. | ||
| And one of the big parts of my ritual is coffee. | ||
| Not like... | ||
| A monster energy drink. | ||
| I mean, I don't have anything wrong. | ||
| I don't not like Red Bulls. | ||
| They're fine. | ||
| If you just need a pick-me-up, I'll drink one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know, if I'm at the store and I know I'm tired and I have to drive home, I'll take a Red Bull. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But a coffee is like a ritual. | ||
| I adore coffee. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I love to get a nice warm cup of coffee and then I start writing. | ||
| And I do it when I do a podcast. | ||
| For me, the podcast doesn't seem like it starts until I take a sip of coffee. | ||
| So I love it. | ||
| I love coffee. | ||
| I like the feeling. | ||
| I like what it gives to me. | ||
| I like the way it tastes. | ||
| Yeah, I feel the same way about Pot. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Not only do I not think... | ||
| I absolutely don't think it's detrimental. | ||
| I adore it. | ||
| And I think it helps my life. | ||
| I adore it. | ||
| I don't have any negatives. | ||
| I've figured... | ||
| Me and Pot have a fucking super good relationship. | ||
| And sometimes it leaves me tired and I can't remember exactly what I just said. | ||
| But it provides me with so much inspiration and introspective thinking that the counter, like the payoff, is huge on the side of pot. | ||
| Huge! | ||
| You add to that, having a fucking hole in the universe in your goddamn house, get out of town, man! | ||
| That's what I'm saying! | ||
| I've been saying it forever! | ||
| What have I been telling you for years? | ||
| You have to get one! | ||
| God damn it, Duncan. | ||
| But yeah, you would say that to me when I was like... | ||
| You would say that to me when my car's about to get repossessed. | ||
| Like, I'll just get a float tank. | ||
| Okay, I'll... | ||
| Well, I told you, anytime you wanted, you could use mine. | ||
| I know, Joe. | ||
| You know that. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| Dude, you have the keys to my house. | ||
| You can come over at 3 o'clock in the morning and use my tank anytime you want. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know that. | |
| That's so cool, man. | ||
| Just don't wake my kids up, fucking weirdo. | ||
| Well, yeah, but think how weird that would be. | ||
| The weirdo come... | ||
| Daddy, the weirdo's here again to climb into your bathtub. | ||
| It's Uncle Duncan. | ||
| It's Uncle Duncan. | ||
| But man, yeah, it's a... | ||
| It's a beautiful thing. | ||
| It's a beautiful thing. | ||
| Well, I think they should have community centers that have them, man. | ||
| I mean, there's a lot of people that have apartments, and in their apartment, they have a stationary bike, or they have a treadmill. | ||
| They have a little small gym with a television set in there. | ||
| You want to have a nice apartment? | ||
| Have an apartment with a fucking float tank that people can use. | ||
| You have someone who maintains it. | ||
| People sign up for it. | ||
| Don't let just anybody use it. | ||
| Make sure that the guy who runs it's not a creeper. | ||
| He's not going to peek in on chicks while they're in there naked. | ||
| Put a lock on the door. | ||
| Make sure you, you know... | ||
| Some drunk dude's gonna shit in it. | ||
| There's no way around it. | ||
| Well, you'll know who did it. | ||
| They have to sign up. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| Fuck that guy. | ||
| We'll evict him. | ||
| You get evicted from the apartment complex. | ||
| Get crucified on top of the apartment complex. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How dare he. | |
| Imagine if someone shit in that water. | ||
| It doesn't matter how many times they filter it. | ||
| You're not getting all the shit out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| You have to take all the water out and clean the whole thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Start fresh. | |
| You shit in that water, the next time you climb in, there's gonna be something in there that bites you. | ||
| What do you think the number is worldwide of people that have taken big shits in isolation tanks? | ||
| Thousands. | ||
| Imagine if there was a compilation video of every person who has ever taken a shit inside the isolation tank and you could just watch it happen in real time. | ||
| People are awful. | ||
| You would be insisting that people are awful. | ||
| And I think that's one of the real problems with judging the human beings as a race is that there's too many of us. | ||
| So if there's 7 billion people, while we're saying this, 50 dudes are shitting in tanks right now. | ||
| For sure, right? | ||
| Tanks aren't even that common. | ||
| There's not that many tanks in the world, but I would be willing to bet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
50? | |
| Over the course of this podcast, I'll say over the course of this podcast, that's a conservative estimate. | ||
| Think of how many fucking idiots there are that just shit their pants. | ||
| How many people are there that are so stupid they just shit their pants all the time? | ||
| Well, shitting your pants is not necessarily a measurement of IQ. They shit their bed. | ||
| They, you know, when I was in... | ||
| When I was in... | ||
| I had a... | ||
| I had a girlfriend, I've told this story before, but it's very unfortunate. | ||
| And her roommate used to have anal sex with her boyfriend. | ||
| And she wrote a letter about it. | ||
| The reason why she does it, he's a little dick and it doesn't feel good unless he puts it in her ass. | ||
| It was very sobering for this poor gentleman who found this letter. | ||
| Or her diary or whatever. | ||
| But she shit the bed. | ||
| When they had anal sex and apparently it relaxed her sphincter to the point where she just relaxed in bed while sleeping and just shat in the bed. | ||
| Oh dear. | ||
| Yeah, and like the dude was just standing in the hallway. | ||
| Like I ran into him, like I came out of my girlfriend's bedroom and he was there in the hallway, it was hands out, like after she had just shit on him, he was like, what the fuck? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll never forget this poor sap. | |
| What the fuck? | ||
| Someone just shit on him because he was having anal sex with this girl. | ||
| So what I'm saying is that poor gal, with whatever damage she did to her butthole, she could probably shit the bed if she went to an isolation tank. | ||
| You know, if she wasn't paying attention, she got a little too relaxed and fell asleep in there. | ||
| You can shit your bed, you can shit an isolation tank. | ||
| Sure you can. | ||
| And people shit the bed. | ||
| Yeah, they do. | ||
| They just do. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, they do. | ||
| There's no way around it. | ||
| I guess I think of like if you were in there and like you just blasted some ketamine into your bloodstream or something and you were just really gone, then maybe your body would just evacuate its bowels because it wanted to, you know, your astral body is who knows where. | ||
| You're on Venus. | ||
| You're not even in the float tank. | ||
| You're just a monkey in there now. | ||
| Yeah, I would imagine that's definitely probably happened to somebody that took some drug. | ||
| Have you talked to Neil Brennan at all? | ||
| Do you know Neil? | ||
| I know Neil, but I haven't talked to him. | ||
| Wait, I've got to take a leak. | ||
| Please go ahead and do it. | ||
| Go ahead and do it. | ||
| And when you come back, I'll return to you. | ||
| It's customary with your priestly outfit. | ||
| When you return, I'll tell you about Neil Brennan taking ketamine for therapy. | ||
| Do you know about that? | ||
| Come back, young Jesus. | ||
| What are you, a bishop or some shit? | ||
| He's a bishop. | ||
| Duncan Trussell, a bishop. | ||
| If you have never listened to Duncan Trussell's podcast and you're tuning into this, maybe this is the first podcast you've ever listened to, the Duncan Trussell Family Hour is, for real, probably one of the best podcasts in the known universe. | ||
| And Duncan is an oddly articulate and very bizarre character that I don't know anybody like him. | ||
| You know, and he has a very interesting and unique way of looking at shit. | ||
| And one of the reasons why I like doing podcasts with him is because I feel like that when Duncan and I get together, we both pull some weird part out of each other. | ||
| That's what I felt like when we were doing that stupid sci-fi show, when we were talking to people about Bigfoot and shit. | ||
| But that's how I feel when I do any podcast with him. | ||
| He's just a very, very unusual dude. | ||
| And his stand-up is fucking hilarious. | ||
| And he will be with me at the Comedy Store this Friday night. | ||
| We're doing The Belly Room at 10 o'clock. | ||
| I don't even think the tickets are available yet. | ||
| But this Friday night at The Belly Room at 10 o'clock, it'll just be me and Duncan. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| And it's only like 70 tickets, so it sells out very quick. | ||
| So if you're interested, I'm doing Saturday night at the same time, too, at 10 o'clock. | ||
| So that's it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuckers. | |
| Duncan Trussell Family Hour is on iTunes. | ||
| He doesn't have any stand-up that you can buy, unfortunately. | ||
| And that's something I've been hounding Duncan for the longest fucking time while he enters his little girl bladder. | ||
| It's one thing I've learned about myself, young Jamie, from doing this podcast, that I have a manly bladder. | ||
| I can drink three, four cups of coffee and sit here for three fucking hours and not bitch out and make a mad run for the bathroom most days. | ||
| Most days. | ||
| But I've had some bad days. | ||
| I've had some days where I couldn't keep it together. | ||
| It's just a part of being a person. | ||
| So if you can, please give Duncan the hardest time possible about putting together a goddamn comedy special so you all can enjoy his stand-up as much as we do. | ||
| It's happening in the spring, brother! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, praise Allah! | |
| Praise Odin! | ||
| Praise Zeus! | ||
| Big tour, man. | ||
| Big tour. | ||
| It's happening. | ||
| I can't talk about it. | ||
| My amazing agent, Joe Schwartz, is putting it together. | ||
| It's a secret. | ||
| It's going to be good, though. | ||
| It's happening. | ||
| It is happening. | ||
| Dude, why aren't we doing some gigs together again? | ||
| We haven't done gigs. | ||
| Well, we're doing Friday night at the Comedy Store. | ||
| But we gotta do some gig gigs. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Let's go away from Los Angeles together, my friend. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| Let's travel. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Let's travel. | ||
| Love to. | ||
| We need to do something where we do a series of dates on the road. | ||
| You and I. This is what I'm thinking. | ||
| Go to these different towns and then go do cool shit in the town and film it. | ||
| Like, let's go to an ashram. | ||
| Let's take a yoga class together. | ||
| Let's do a bunch of shit. | ||
| Weird shit specific to the town. | ||
| Shit in a float tank. | ||
| Yeah, let's go to the Kentucky Derby. | ||
| I want to do the Kentucky Derby next year and do a stand-up show in town. | ||
| I want to know what the fuck that's all about. | ||
| Horse racing? | ||
| It's not even about the race. | ||
| It's about everybody getting fucked up. | ||
| That's what it's about. | ||
| Right. | ||
| My buddy Cameron Haynes went this year, and he's like, Jesus Christ. | ||
| He's like, it's just people just getting drunk. | ||
| Like, everywhere you go, everybody's just plowed drunk. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| You know, Hunter Thompson, one of his early pieces of work that got him notoriety was, he did a bit on the Kentucky Derby. | ||
| The Kentucky Derby is decadent and depraved. | ||
| And his story on the Kentucky Derby is fascinating because it starts out just describing the heinous people around him and then realizing you're one of those people. | ||
| At the end he realizes he's one of the monsters that he's been describing. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| But it's just one of those things. | ||
| It's been going on forever. | ||
| And it's connected to this ancient culture of riverboat gamblers. | ||
| That's what the Kentucky Derby is. | ||
| The ultimate gambler experience. | ||
| Drunken. | ||
| Excess. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Mint juleps. | ||
| It's that. | ||
| It's getting hammered. | ||
| And it's horse races. | ||
| But it's it's like this it's like a social event where people go and have a great time and apparently the vibe there is incredible like it's like really fun like chaotic and people do just get fucking shit-faced shit-faced and I think if we went and got shit-faced with these people Yeah, that could be super fun, man. | ||
| I mean, there's a lot of great places to go get shit-faced, though, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| But I want to experience the Kentucky Derby. | ||
| The Kentucky Derby is something that I've heard of. | ||
| I don't know enough about to even, like, yeah, sure, I'll get shit-faced. | ||
| Why would we do that, man? | ||
| We could just go to Burning Man. | ||
| I was about to say that! | ||
| What's wrong with Burning Hand? | ||
| We're going to watch a bunch of horses gallop around alcoholics when you can go to the middle of the desert where they're shooting laser beams into space and giant squid tanks are rolling by shooting fire. | ||
| Or we could do both. | ||
| That's impossible. | ||
| It's not though. | ||
| That's impossible. | ||
| They're on two different dates. | ||
| No, I know I'm joking. | ||
| We can do both. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what we should have done for sci-fi instead of you and me looking for a non-existent unknown primate wandering through the woods of the Pacific Northwest. | ||
| We should have gone to raves. | ||
| We should have found real freaks. | ||
| I don't understand why, you know, I don't understand. | ||
| Yeah, you're right. | ||
| There's so many other ways to, like, analyze the universe. | ||
| Like, we're... | ||
| As far as science goes, or somebody's gonna do a scientific investigation of things, we're pretty far away from the ideal scientists. | ||
| Well, we weren't really doing science when we were looking for Bigfoot, though. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| We're bullshit detecting. | ||
| Were you really? | ||
| No, but I... You know what I mean, man? | ||
| I think that it's like... | ||
| What ends up happening... | ||
| Because TV shows have gotta, like... | ||
| You gotta wrap everything up. | ||
| You gotta have a point. | ||
| You gotta have a thing. | ||
| You can't do what a podcast does, which is just whatever you want. | ||
| Why can't they do that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I guess. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Why can't they have a late night show? | ||
| Why don't they have a late night show after this night show's over that just goes on for like three hours? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's just two dudes talking. | ||
| Or whatever. | ||
| Bringing a guest and talk. | ||
| No band. | ||
| You don't need a fucking band. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
| What are you, a baby? | ||
| I need to play music for you. | ||
| I think people would take great comfort in that. | ||
| But the problem is, you can't do it because of the way TV works. | ||
| Every single thing that anybody says on TV has got to go through a filter. | ||
| And that's the, what do you call it, the regulatory bureau that makes sure people say things that aren't, like... | ||
| Curse words or what's that called? | ||
| There's a name for it. | ||
| Standards and Practices. | ||
| So everything has to run through that. | ||
| So I think that the idea of having... | ||
| You could do it on HBO, I guess. | ||
| You'd have to have it on a non-public station. | ||
| It needs to be a subscription TV station. | ||
| You could probably pull that off, but you can't do it on NBC. You can't have people talk for three hours because inevitably somebody's going to start Really saying the truth, or they're going to start saying a truth that doesn't fit in with selling cell phones en masse, and that's going to be, they're not going to like that. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| You know, when you do stand-up on those shows, you've got to show them your set, right? | ||
| They analyze every line, every sentence, every word gets analyzed. | ||
| Yeah, you have to show them a written transcript of things you're going to say. | ||
| Can you imagine if we tried to show a network this transcript of what we talked about here today? | ||
| I imagine that we would get over 7,000 pages of notes back. | ||
| I bet the notes that we got would be 500 times longer than the episode itself. | ||
| Did I ever tell you that my friend Amir was a writer on the early, early, early days of Conan? | ||
| No. | ||
| A lot of comics wrote for Conan in the early, early days. | ||
| And my friend Amir, Amir Golan, his name was James Lemur. | ||
| That was his stage name. | ||
| Really funny dude from Boston. | ||
| And so I was there for the early, early filmings. | ||
| When I was like, you know... | ||
| I guess I was kind of working, maybe. | ||
| Just starting to work. | ||
| I didn't have any money. | ||
| I was a total scrub. | ||
| But I was his friend, so I went to watch. | ||
| All the Andy Richter, Conan O'Brien interactions were scripted. | ||
| 100% scripted. | ||
| They had cue cards above them. | ||
| So they weren't talking. | ||
| They were fake talking. | ||
| They were fake talking. | ||
| Like, if you and I were going to talk about this right now, they would have all this shit that I was going to say already written out. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it was a sign behind each other. | ||
| Like, a sign behind Andy and a guy holding a sign behind Conan. | ||
| Because we're talking about, like, 1990 or some shit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| When did the Conan O'Brien show start? | ||
| What year did the Conan O'Brien show start? | ||
| I'm gonna say like 91 or 92. Like somewhere around there. | ||
| That's if I had a guess. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| At the latest I could think it would be like 93. But it was weird. | ||
| Weird. | ||
| It's real weird. | ||
| It's like you're watching Pirates of the Caribbean or something. | ||
| You're watching a play. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's so strange. | ||
| But they don't do that anymore. | ||
| Thank God. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I mean he had to go to fucking TBS to probably get rid of that. | ||
| 93. 93. There we go. | ||
| That was pretty close. | ||
| Yeah, I don't get that, man. | ||
| I can't wait for that to change. | ||
| TV's going to get so much better. | ||
| Well, they don't do that anymore. | ||
| Nobody does that. | ||
| They did that because he was a writer. | ||
| They did that because he was a writer that really didn't have a performance background. | ||
| And all of a sudden, he was hosting this late-night talk show because he was so funny. | ||
| Because in writers' rooms, Conan O'Brien would just smash. | ||
| He was the guy. | ||
| He was so fucking funny, and his jokes were so good that in writers' rooms, they were like, Jesus Christ, you should be a fucking comic. | ||
| You should be the host of a show. | ||
| And then the next thing you know, a bunch of people got behind him, and they said, listen, we're going to bankroll him and have him be the guy. | ||
| And once he loosened up and got used to the role, he became one of a lot of people's favorite. | ||
| But watching the early show and watching them do it with a script, it was very enlightening to me. | ||
| Can you do this as a late night show? | ||
| I'm sure you've gotten, someone must have come to you by now. | ||
| This is an early morning show. | ||
| It's a late night show. | ||
| It's a mid-afternoon show. | ||
| It's available whenever you want it. | ||
| It's 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and get it on your iPhone. | ||
| I know, but do you ever think about, like, how often do you think about translating it to the TV environment or some version of it? | ||
| Almost never. | ||
| You must get pitched it all the time, though. | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't even take pitches. | ||
| I don't want to do anything other than what I'm doing right now. | ||
| I've thought about it before, and the experience of doing the Spike TV thing, the sci-fi thing rather, what was fun was doing it with you. | ||
| That's what was fun. | ||
| That was what was fun. | ||
| But it's not fun dealing with all those other people. | ||
| And the people that we worked with, all the producers on that side were great, and a lot of people on the network side were great, but there were so many voices. | ||
| It wasn't even that they were bad folks. | ||
| You're dealing with too many people, isn't it? | ||
| Everybody's got discrepancies, and I think it should go like this, and maybe you should try that, or maybe you can come in here, maybe he could dress different, maybe you could hold that, or maybe you could stand there. | ||
| Like, fuck, man, there's too many of you talking. | ||
| Like, look, we're trying to make the best thing, but you're not the person that's gonna, like, figure me out, okay? | ||
| I've got a good sense of who I am and if you want me to wear a suit and tie and you think it's gonna change if I you know come in on a parachute or if I Step out of a fucking flaming hula hoop this is we're talking crazy, right? | ||
| I don't want to do that like if I had it if I want to sit down with some comedy writers and Bounce around some ideas. | ||
| I don't want to hear too many people's voices right and that I mean it's their prerogative I mean if you're if you're on a television show and They're paying for it. | ||
| Somebody has to pay for it. | ||
| Right, and it's not you. | ||
| So it's their prerogative to do that. | ||
| But I don't want to be, I just don't think that I operate the best doing that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I don't think this podcast would have ever occurred if I had a boss. | ||
| It would have never happened. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| And most of this shit I would have never said, and I would have to debate who the guests were. | ||
| The idea of debating who the guests are, I just want to throw up. | ||
| The idea of having to convince someone that Joey Diaz should be on Tuesday. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I've got to convince them. | ||
| I know Joey's been on two months ago, but it doesn't matter. | ||
| You need a black eye. | ||
| You need a black woman. | ||
| That's what you need on your podcast. | ||
| A black woman. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're looking at your diversity statistics. | |
| I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want to do. | ||
| I'm going to do whatever I want to do. | ||
| And the only way to do whatever you want to do is to do your own thing. | ||
| As soon as you start doing it on television, you're not doing whatever you want to do. | ||
| Unless you become wild. | ||
| Wildly successful like South Park to the point where they just leave you the fuck alone. | ||
| And new regimes come and go while you're still the king. | ||
| They don't say shit to Daniel Tosh. | ||
| Everybody just shuts the fuck up and leaves him alone. | ||
| You don't want to fuck that up. | ||
| You got a monolithic show. | ||
| Look at South Park. | ||
| It's been going on forever. | ||
| And it's just as funny now as it's ever been. | ||
| Just stay the fuck away from them. | ||
| Don't talk to them. | ||
| Don't ruin anything. | ||
| Are there any examples of a show where they let them do whatever they wanted and the show failed because of it? | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| I'm sure there have been. | ||
| I wonder what it is. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| There's got to be. | ||
| You generally always hear with like Mr. Show or like a lot of the great sketch groups or like any great show. | ||
| One thing you always hear is like they mostly just let us do what we wanted. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it's when the opposite effect happens. | ||
| Well, that's what the Chappelle show. | ||
| That's what broke the Chappelle show up. | ||
| Dave Chappelle was like, fuck this. | ||
| There's too many people telling him what to do. | ||
| Saying them that he couldn't say certain things. | ||
| There was a lot of money on the line for that show. | ||
| He's talked about it. | ||
| He's talked about they wouldn't let him say the word nigger. | ||
| There was a real concern with him continuing to say that word. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| And they were saying that if he didn't say, they could make more money in advertising. | ||
| I would love to really sit down with him and find out what was the feeling when all that was happening. | ||
| What was the feeling of being connected to this cultural monster? | ||
| Must have been rage. | ||
| I was on it twice. | ||
| But I didn't, you know, I didn't really talk to him about it. | ||
| But in the time, it was just like, wow, this is great. | ||
| Dave's got this awesome show that's hilarious. | ||
| Holy shit, fuck, I'd love to be on it. | ||
| It was one of those things. | ||
| It wasn't like, what is this like for you? | ||
| Like now, having the podcast, I'd be like, what is the feeling of everywhere you go... | ||
| I'm Rick James, bitch! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, did that fuck with you? | ||
| Because I know people used to heckle him with that, and it was like a real problem. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, people would heckle, they would yell that out. | ||
| You know how everybody was yelling out, I'm Rick James, bitch? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| It was ridiculous. | ||
| It got to the point where they would yell that out, and he couldn't even continue his show. | ||
| Because, like, dumb white kids would be yelling out, I'm Rick James, bitch! | ||
| That's so bad. | ||
| How fucked up is that? | ||
| But, obviously, he made it through it, but the point being... | ||
| What a weird experience that must have been, just to be a human being, to be at the tip of the comedy spear like that for a while, and then have a bunch of people fuck with it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Have a bunch of people just, well, David, you need to listen to me, David! | |
| David! | ||
| David! | ||
| Listen to me! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mr. Chappelle, think about all the money you're leaving on the table! | |
| How many people telling him what words to use and not to say that, don't be yourself. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| We need you to be a little better packaged. | ||
| We're trying to make money here, David. | ||
| David, we're trying to make money. | ||
| And so he walked away like a gangster from some, like, 50 million dollar deal. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| He's like, I'm good. | ||
| See ya. | ||
| Integrity. | ||
| That guy's got serious integrity, man. | ||
| Through his, yeah, I mean, through his pores. | ||
| How many people would, there's a lot of people who would not walk away. | ||
| You, me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I would be like, the N-word? | ||
| It's not important. | ||
| You know, I think Bill Cosby once said... | ||
|
unidentified
|
As I was saying that, I'm like, yeah, I was thinking like, and I definitely wanted it. | |
| Like, for a second, I was thinking, for a second, I was thinking of like, other people in my mind, I'm going to be like, yeah, they definitely wouldn't walk away. | ||
| And then I'm like, you judgmental shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You are fucking on the top of the pole of people who not walk away, you ass. | |
| Look, I hosted Fear Factor. | ||
| Sure, I'll change my name. | ||
| What'd you want to call me? | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| Senior Poopypants? | ||
| I'll be Senior Poopypants. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Sure, I'll go in the float tank. | ||
| Someone just shit in it. | ||
| No problem, man. | ||
| It's me, Senior Poopypants, for Citibank MasterCard. | ||
| Citibank MasterCard is the best MasterCard. | ||
| It's the one Senior Poopypants uses. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| But, hey, wasn't Chappelle kind of like... | ||
| Wasn't... | ||
| Isn't he... | ||
| I don't know if he still is, but isn't he kind of like an Illuminati believer? | ||
| Like, aren't there interviews with him where he kind of talks about... | ||
| Well, look, I don't know his... | ||
| I haven't had these conversations with him personally, so I don't know the full extent of his beliefs. | ||
| But he believes in some shit that's real, like the Bilderberg Group. | ||
| The fact that these industrials really do get together and meet and try to figure out how to continue running the world the way it's run right now because they're extracting massive amounts of money from it. | ||
| I mean, that's real. | ||
| We know that the Bilderberg Group, those are real meetings. | ||
| We know that the Federal Bank, okay? | ||
| We know how that works. | ||
| We know that the Federal Bank isn't bank. | ||
| It's not federal. | ||
| It's a privately owned company. | ||
| We know that international banks And as well as the banks in this country have all done all sorts of horrible shit involving laundering money and gotten little slaps on the wrist and little baby fines. | ||
| And when they're about to fall apart, our own tax dollars are used to step in and save these fuckheads. | ||
| We all know all that. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| We all know all that. | ||
| We just sort of accept it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Kennedy shot in broad daylight. | ||
| There's so much of what it is to be a person that runs a government that no one other than that person or those people is ever going to understand. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I think it's probably like a helpless position where you realize once you get there, you're like, oh, God, nobody does this right. | ||
| It can't be done right. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Literally can't be done. | ||
| I'm going to try to do my best to get some health care pushed through, some other things, maybe gay marriage. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Try to get gay marriage on the books. | ||
| Fuck yeah, man. | ||
| That guy's having a great week. | ||
| That guy's having a great week. | ||
| He really is. | ||
| Yeah, you know, yeah, I don't know. | ||
| We don't know. | ||
| Like, that is the belief that the president is a kind of hapless victim that gets pulled into a web of darkness and does the best that he can do is certainly more comforting than the other version of the story, which is that it's just somebody, | ||
| it's a narcissist who tricked themselves into thinking there was some capitalist Jesus in this They're gonna walk across the stage of history and create incredible changes for the better in the world while hoping to God that the people you're creating the changes for will forget about the countless children you've transformed into hamburger meat from dropping bombs out of drones on top of them accidentally. | ||
| And we do, because maybe it is a game, you start thinking, this is like a Game of Thrones-style universe, where every decision that you make, or 5% of the decisions you make are going to result in someone dying and someone not dying, and you're forced into the predicament of saying, well, I guess if I have to pick between dying and not dying, I'm going to pick people from the country I'm currently the president of. | ||
| Over the people from the country I'm not the president of. | ||
| That's gonna be the decision I have to make, because that's the oaths that I've sworn. | ||
| So yeah, from time to time I'm gonna, I'm gonna explode some fucking kids. | ||
| And I'm also gonna get gay marriage legalized. | ||
| And I'm also gonna help ease the prohibition on marijuana. | ||
| And then once in a while, I will completely destroy a village accidentally. | ||
| Fuck that job, indeed. | ||
| The job's insane. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| It's more insane than being a cop, and being a cop's insane. | ||
| It's all insane. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| A lot of jobs are insane. | ||
| But you gotta suck it back down to your job, like where you're at, man. | ||
| I mean, that's the thing. | ||
| Like, my brain will go in those directions so much, you know. | ||
| Did you see Obama or hear Obama on Marin? | ||
| I absolutely did. | ||
| I didn't hear it yet. | ||
| It was good. | ||
| Oh, that's a good interview, man. | ||
| He did a great job, man. | ||
| That was super cool. | ||
| One of my favorite part of the interview... | ||
| One thing that happened, I heard Maren on a bunch of interviews afterwards, because everybody's like, what the fuck is that like to get to, you know, interview the president? | ||
| And he was remarking on how Obama put him at ease. | ||
| Like, how Obama was really good at putting him at ease. | ||
| Like, it's his podcast, but Obama's just this master of, like, getting him to relax enough so that he could do the interview and not be nervous. | ||
| Because you could hear him at the beginning, just like most people, he sounded a little nervous, as you should be as the fucking president. | ||
| There's Secret Service. | ||
| All over your goddamn house. | ||
| They had to block the window out with garbage bags because there was a sight line where there could have been a sniper on a roof. | ||
| There's a sniper on the roof of his fucking house, man. | ||
| In his intro, he's like, there's a sniper on my roof. | ||
| My neighbors hate me. | ||
| They've shut off the whole street. | ||
| They came to his house. | ||
| It came. | ||
| Why did he do it at his house? | ||
| Why didn't he just do it at a place where they could secure it better? | ||
| It's a badass decision. | ||
| It is badass. | ||
| They must have been like, you know that they were like, do we have to do it at your house? | ||
| And he must have been like, we're gonna do it at my fucking house. | ||
| He did it. | ||
| He wore his flannel. | ||
| That was another badass decision. | ||
| Marc Maron wore his fucking flannel in front of the President of the United States. | ||
| No suit, no change of attire. | ||
| That is his attire though. | ||
| That's his outfit, much like you're a bishop and I'm a NASA guy. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Think about what you said. | ||
| He wore his flannel. | ||
| So he put on his outfit. | ||
| He didn't wear like a Grateful Dead t-shirt or a fucking wife beard. | ||
| But a lot of people, they're like, I'm in the presence of the president. | ||
| I'm going to wear this tuxedo or whatever. | ||
| He dresses in his normal attire. | ||
| That was pretty cool. | ||
| And then the interview itself was really great. | ||
| It was like Obama was very funny and there were great funny moments. | ||
| One of my favorite lines in the interview was... | ||
| Obama mentions, like, Marc Maron mentions black helicopters. | ||
| And he's like, but there's no black helicopters, right? | ||
| And Obama's like, there are black helicopters. | ||
| They just are in other countries more than we use them here. | ||
| But he did say there are black helicopters. | ||
| And everybody knows that. | ||
| I know, but it was a funny thing for the president to hear it out of the president's mouth in a kind of funny way. | ||
| But, again, man, you know, outside of how incredibly charismatic, affable, and how grateful I am to a lot of the shit the Obama administration has done, healthcare, and I know a lot of people out there fucking hate what he's done, but as somebody who has had cancer, knowing that if I wanted to get insurance, if my insurance lapsed or something, they're not going to do what they usually do, which is a... | ||
| They would investigate you before you could get insurance for days and days and days They would investigate you to find out if you have previous health conditions and you couldn't get insurance You'd have to like you could die or you get shitty health care It's cool to know that a lot of people don't have to deal with that shit. | ||
| I think it's cool I know it's not a perfect system and from a libertarian perspective I know a lot of you probably have good reasons to really hate it But I think there's a lot of good reasons to not hate it too. | ||
| So I'm grateful for that marijuana seems to be Becoming legal during his administration, even though his administration has done a lot of shit to obstruct research on marijuana. | ||
| Things seem to be changing. | ||
| Gay marriage is now legal. | ||
| That's under his administration. | ||
| What about the whistleblower stuff? | ||
| That's shit! | ||
| See, that's the shit that bugs me, man. | ||
| Did Maren ask him about that? | ||
| No, I don't think so. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I didn't. | |
| I actually had to. | ||
| I didn't. | ||
| I was listening to it. | ||
| Well, I'll have to listen to it to see if he did, because that's a super important subject. | ||
| And the idea that someone who's doing what they think is the right thing for humanity by expressing they have a huge issue with the legality of certain actions that are commonplace. | ||
| It's fucked. | ||
| I mean, he's seeing these things happen on a daily basis, and he thinks they're unconstitutional. | ||
| And now he's hiding in Russia. | ||
| Man, how crazy is that? | ||
| To me, this is where you get into this problem with presidents where they kind of remind you of like, oh, fucking Uncle Jack. | ||
| What a cool guy, right? | ||
| He's a super sweet guy. | ||
| He's really awesome. | ||
| He's so fun. | ||
| The kids really love him. | ||
| Everybody likes Uncle Jack. | ||
| He's a carjacker. | ||
| Either that or he's like molesting someone. | ||
| And you're supposed to ignore the fact. | ||
| This is in families where I actually was listening to this great documentary on NPR about the phenomena of why That kind of shit is sexual abuse will happen in a family and keep happening in a family because to acknowledge it is to implode the family. | ||
| To acknowledge it is to... | ||
| that family is done. | ||
| And it happened... | ||
| this is when those... | ||
| I don't even know... | ||
| I wasn't following the newest thing that happened with that weird religious group of people where there was sexual abuse that happened. | ||
| I can't even remember their names. | ||
| It's in relation to that, but... | ||
| The Dugars? | ||
| The Dugars, right? | ||
| Duggers? | ||
| The Duggers. | ||
| So in a family, if you admit that this is happening, father, mother, uncle, whoever is doing this thing, you will transform the terrain of that family permanently, right? | ||
| So in the same way with a president... | ||
| You know, we're almost being asked to do the same exact thing, which is, like, take the good, he makes great hamburgers, he gives the kid candy, he's, like, really fun, he's got a slip and slide, but for God's sake, never mention the time two years ago when you were standing behind the tool shed, he slid his finger into your asshole, because if you do that, it's gonna fucking ruin our family! | ||
| In the same way, with, like, With Obama, man, you're not supposed... | ||
| You just are like, alright, just ignore the fact that right now we're dealing with for-profit prisons. | ||
| One of the greatest heroes of our time, Snowden, a real patriot, is having to hide in fucking Russia right now. | ||
| We're supposed to ignore the fact, even if Obama can't change it, Can he come out at a press conference and say, I support and endorse what Snowden did? | ||
| But he can't say that. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because then people will be able to just hack into anything they want and take information that the government has and distribute it all around the world and it'll fuck up all sorts of counter-terrorism activities they're doing, fuck up all sorts of surveillance that they've got going on with real questionable people that might be some fucking ISIS character. | ||
| Yeah, but didn't, I mean, the whole, you gotta, you're supposed to, like, I mean, God. | ||
| Playing devil's advocate, buddy. | ||
| I know you are, but, and you literally are playing devil's advocate, but I don't mean to, I don't mean to, like, get all constitutional and everything, but isn't the point of the president to uphold the constitution? | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| But I don't think the Constitution existed when it was created with the understanding of the Internet, with the understanding of the distribution of information, with the understanding of covert intelligence, with the understanding of terrorism, with the understanding of a lot of things. | ||
| I think that what was a real problem was that, first of all, when he did tell everybody that the NSA is spying on every fucking American on the planet, they lied. | ||
| That's bad. | ||
| That's a huge problem. | ||
| That's one problem. | ||
| And second of all, there's no rational justification. | ||
| There was no significant number of terrorism events. | ||
| They've stopped it while compromising the privacy of everybody. | ||
| Then they started talking about how it was just metadata, and that wasn't true either. | ||
| It's not just metadata. | ||
| People were going into the emails of their ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends and reading their shit and downloading pictures from their computers. | ||
| They're doing whatever the fuck they wanted to do and they can do whatever the fuck they want to do because they have this autonomy. | ||
| They have this power working for the NSA. But what he was saying was like, he was like, I didn't even graduate from college. | ||
| He goes, and I have access to all this stuff. | ||
| And I'm just a normal person. | ||
| I'm around a bunch of other people. | ||
| And I got this information. | ||
| I got this information out to people. | ||
| What's to stop all these other people from taking information? | ||
| What's to stop them from sharing it with each other and passing it back and forth? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| Nothing. | ||
| Obviously, if he was able to leak as much as he leaked, what safeguards were there in place for people's privacy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Probably very little. | ||
| And whether or not you're doing anything wrong, whether or not you need to worry about it, that's not the argument. | ||
| The argument is it fundamentally changes the relationship that you have with another person. | ||
| The same way being a cop changes the relationship when you're talking to someone that you think is committing a crime. | ||
| Right. | ||
| All of a sudden you have power over that person's information. | ||
| They don't have any over you. | ||
| They can say, sit down, put your fucking hands over your head. | ||
| You can be like, no, fuck you. | ||
| You sit down, stupid. | ||
| With your fucking tumble and your roll with your stupid uniform on. | ||
| Don't put a pointed gun at me. | ||
| You need to sit down because you're pointing a gun at me. | ||
| You're an asshole. | ||
| You need to put your hands behind your back because I'm going to handcuff you because I don't trust you pointing a gun at me. | ||
| I pay your bills, dude. | ||
| I pay your bills and you're pointing a gun at me. | ||
| Or my daughter. | ||
| Right, but no one is going to accept that. | ||
| No one's going to accept that. | ||
| You're not going to accept that because a cop thinks he's a cop. | ||
| And it's similar in a lot of ways. | ||
| It's similar. | ||
| The idea that someone has access to Duncan Trussell's email, but you don't have access to theirs. | ||
| You don't even know they're checking in on you. | ||
| They have power over you. | ||
| They're observing you, making sure you don't fuck up. | ||
| Guess what? | ||
| Just like how when you're talking about those experiments that they do on subatomic particles and waves and other quantum shit, where the observer changes the effect. | ||
| Guess what? | ||
| When you fucking follow someone around and deserve the shit out of them, it changes them. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| It changes them similar to that stupid double-blind, double-slit experiment. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's a wave and it's a particle. | ||
| You're innocent, but you're also a criminal. | ||
| They're constantly following you, trying to, like, yeah, it changes you. | ||
| It fucking changes the way you feel. | ||
| If someone's hounding you and fucking with you, it changes you. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| It's such a confusing thing. | ||
| I hear such an affable, cool guy who's done some really great things, and to know that this other shit is going on, it's just kind of sad, man. | ||
| It'd be so beautiful if... | ||
| He had actually shut down Guantanamo. | ||
| Like, the stuff coming back about how they're treating those poor bastards like foie gras, you know? | ||
| They're just, like, force-feeding them even though they want to die, so they're not even letting them die. | ||
| They're keeping them alive, like something from the Hellraiser dimension, just shoving tubes into their throat and putting protein gel into their bellies. | ||
| And a lot of these guys, I'm sure some of them are not great people, but I think a lot of them are probably, they haven't even been given a trial, you know? | ||
| There's a lot of them that got interested in alternative ways to govern and live lives and alternative philosophies and religions and alternative ideologies and maybe even militant ideologies that were curious about. | ||
| It doesn't mean that they've committed any crimes. | ||
| It doesn't mean that they've... | ||
| I mean, they might be, but they might not be. | ||
| But the idea that all you have to do is just be interested in these things and they can lock you up. | ||
| There's a thought crime aspect to that that's really scary. | ||
| The thing is, God, this sounds so cliché, but you've got to hold your leaders accountable. | ||
| You must hold leaders accountable. | ||
| And we haven't been doing it. | ||
| It doesn't happen. | ||
| And because it doesn't happen, they keep taking more liberties. | ||
| And the problem is we don't know how to hold our leaders accountable because they're in charge of everything. | ||
| So that's the predicament. | ||
| Outside of holding them accountable by voting, that's one way to do it. | ||
| It's a really confusing, you know, again and again you hear the term war criminal thrown in the direction of the Bush administration, and, you know, I don't know if it's true or not, but I know there's never going to be a trial. | ||
| I know that there's never going to be anything even close to a real investigation into why we went to war there and what we did while we were there. | ||
| All that shit just kind of gets swept down the river of history and you're invited to ignore it and look in the direction of the progressive things that are happening and they're great. | ||
| But then because great things are happening does not mean that you ignore all the other dark shit that's happening and it doesn't mean that you're being a conspiracy theorist or negative or pessimistic because you won't let go of the fact that The last few presidents have maybe done some shit that seems to go directly against the rules that were written down in whatever this current game of being an American is. | ||
| And everybody's got to be held to those rules. | ||
| If everyone's not held to those rules, then we're all supposed to either wander around in a state of denial and pretend that everything's cool when it isn't, or we have to, like, I don't know what. | ||
| Did you hear about this? | ||
| There's a great article that I tweeted yesterday, ISIS and the Lonely Young American. | ||
| It's about this girl who's a 23-year-old Sunday school teacher and a babysitter, and she converted to Islam. | ||
| She was lonely. | ||
| She was living with her grandparents. | ||
| She converted to Islam, and it goes over this long, slow sort of story where you understand who she is and how she got sucked in, and she fucking joins ISIS. Right. | ||
| Like, ISIS offers her some feeling of belonging, and she goes through this process to join ISIS. I don't want to tell you any more of it. | ||
| I just want people to read it because it's really fascinating. | ||
| And it also highlights an aspect of adhering to ideologies that a lot of people don't want to admit, is that people are extremely vulnerable because we don't want to be alone. | ||
| And a lot of times when you see someone who's absolutely committed to something, whether, I mean, how many times have people like seen that Bob Ross guy committing to painting and they wanted to become a painter? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because it's attractive when you see someone who's into something. | ||
| You watch Julia Child cook or Anthony Bourdain cook. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You want to cook. | ||
| Like, God damn it, I want to cook too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's exciting. | ||
| Well, when you see someone who's like really into being a Muslim or really into being a Buddhist or really into being a lot of things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cool. | |
| You get sucked into it. | ||
| The archetype of like the yogi, like the people that are like that fake bullshit Sat Nam, you know, Namaste, you know those guys. | ||
| There's like an archetype that they sort of follow into. | ||
| And they follow into it because when you see it, it looks like super attractive. | ||
| Like, oh wow, that guy's like really spiritual. | ||
| I want to be like him. | ||
| Well, there's people that are like that. | ||
| They're alone, and they're sad, and they're vulnerable, and being a Muslim looks like a good idea to them, or being a Mormon looks like a good idea to them. | ||
| Being in some sort of a group that accepts you and pulls you in, they're giving you interaction. | ||
| And this story is really fascinating because it's something that I've always felt compelled by, because I've felt minorly compelled by all sorts of different religions in my life. | ||
| I will watch like even speeches, you know, like radical Islamic speeches when these guys are talking in front of these people in other parts of the world that speak English, but there's a giant populations of them and like, but there's something attractive, even though he's saying nutty shit about, you know, it says in the Quran you're supposed to stone adulterers and it says in the Quran. | ||
| They're going over, like, how could you possibly know better than God? | ||
| Is this not the greatest answer to this problem that God has provided? | ||
| And everyone would clap. | ||
| He goes, thank you then. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Like, this is Islam. | ||
| And I was like, the confidence this guy has and what he's saying becomes attractive, even to me. | ||
| Even to me, okay? | ||
| I'm nowhere near joining Islam. | ||
| I'm nowhere near joining ISIS. I'm nowhere near becoming a Mormon. | ||
| I'm nowhere near becoming a Scientologist. | ||
| Can you imagine if you joined ISIS? But you know what I'm saying, man? | ||
| I'm watching this, but I feel the draw. | ||
| Everyone feels a little bit of it because the guy is, he's compelling. | ||
| And a lot of them are religious people, people that believe wholeheartedly in everything that they're saying, and they have charisma, and they have passion behind it. | ||
| You're like, I don't have those things. | ||
| I want to be like him because I feel like he's giving off positive, strong energy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| And if he's right, if he's right about God, and God really is on the side of the righteous, and he will lead us towards God, like, God damn, the guy seems super convinced. | ||
| I'm not convinced of anything like that. | ||
| You get drawn into it. | ||
| I think one thing that you're overlooking is the idea that, who is it, Sheldrake, who talks about, I think he uses the term runnel. | ||
| How certain belief systems create runnels in the time-space continuum. | ||
| You know like in Conan when he's walking around... | ||
| The wheel. | ||
| The wheel. | ||
| From walking around so many times, there's actually a trench that he digs. | ||
| So this groove... | ||
| It comes to exist in the universe, and those grooves are the major world religions. | ||
| And so, you know, right now, not only are people shitting in float tanks, but right now at this very moment, people in mosques in great numbers all across the planet are intoning these very sacred Words that come from a mystical book and they're singing them, and that creates a resonance that you can tune into at any time that you want to. | ||
| And that's the pull that I believe you're feeling. | ||
| It's more than just, I want to fit in or I want to be a disciplined person. | ||
| It's like you start by dipping your toe in this river of subjective universe, which is whatever religion it is that you're exploring, and then you stick in your foot, And then you stick in your other foot, and the next thing you know, that motherfucker will suck you in and will pull you into that particular dance that a group of people are doing. | ||
| And it's a very beautiful dance. | ||
| It's a beautiful thing to watch. | ||
| We've talked about this a million times before, but when you're watching that incredible drift of pilgrims as they're moving around, what's the name of the... | ||
| what's it called? | ||
| Mecca. | ||
| I don't know what it's called, but I know what you're talking about. | ||
| And it's got a meteorite in it and this beautiful surging ocean of people dressed in white are like touching this stone and it's incredible to watch and it's beautiful. | ||
| It really does have a meteorite in it, right? | ||
| I think it's a black stone. | ||
| I think it's a meteorite. | ||
| It's a black stone. | ||
| And it's run down from all their fingers touching them. | ||
| And if you think all those people in that swirl of humanity are ISIS level, fundamentalist, lunatic assholes, you're just tricking yourself because you want the universe to be black and white. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| A lot of those people are really very advanced beings who have just been drawn into that particular way that the universe expresses itself. | ||
| This is not to be trusted because it's one of those world news daily report.com stories. | ||
| Definitely not to be trusted. | ||
| What do they say it is? | ||
| Saudi Arabia, a Blackstone of Mecca. | ||
| Blackstone of Mecca revealed to be a meteorite. | ||
| It's a real problem if that website's printing it, though. | ||
| I mean, I don't know what it is. | ||
| It's probably something weird, though. | ||
| Meteorite worship of the Blackstone. | ||
| There's more than one website that says that. | ||
| I mean, we've got to go to Wikipedia. | ||
| Look up Blackstone. | ||
| For some reason, Wikipedia always says... | ||
| Islam's meteor at the circle of the Kaaba. | ||
| The Kaaba, yeah, that's what it's called. | ||
| Yeah, I'm Googling it right in front of me. | ||
| It's a meteor. | ||
| I got a page that says it's not worshipped by Muslims. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is it? | |
| It's not worshipped by Muslims? | ||
| But it is a meteorite inside that thing, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what it's, the Kaaba stone. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| But it is, right? | ||
| So even if it's not worshipped by Muslims, it's at the center of their worship spot. | ||
| I think that's probably significant. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's pretty crazy. | ||
| The black stone. | ||
| Where is it? | ||
| Is that it right there? | ||
| Is that the only image of it? | ||
| The black stone, or Hajarul Aswad, is the eastern cornerstone of the Kaaba, the ancient stone building located in the center of the Grand Mosque in Mecca. | ||
| It is revered by Muslims as an Islamic relic, which, according to Muslim tradition, dates back to the time of Adam and Eve. | ||
| Dude, go to the Google image search and you can see the actual thing. | ||
| It looks like a vagina. | ||
| It's like the vagina of the universe. | ||
| Can you imagine if that was like, that literally is the vagina of the universe? | ||
| Looks more like a belly button. | ||
| Oh, yeah, it does have a kind of... | ||
| It's very vaginal. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And they're reaching there and touching the vagina of the universe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well... | |
| I mean, if that was a meteorite, okay, and that means it came crashing down to Earth from the sky. | ||
| Look how smooth it is. | ||
| Looks like a walnut. | ||
| I don't know where you've been buying your walnuts. | ||
| Looks like an egg. | ||
| You need to go to a new place. | ||
| Looks like a dragon egg. | ||
| It looks like a vagina, goddammit. | ||
| It's a dragon egg. | ||
| It's a vagina. | ||
| So if you think about it, birth, life came out of impact. | ||
| If it wasn't for the impact of comets, we wouldn't have water, apparently. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| I believe that water came from comets. | ||
| I've heard that. | ||
| I don't know if they know that for sure. | ||
| But we do know for sure that if it wasn't for the meteor impact that killed the dinosaurs, we'd be fucked. | ||
| We would not have made it, okay? | ||
| We'd just, we'd gotten eaten. | ||
| Everywhere you look, giant fucking dinosaurs, velociraptors, T-Rexes. | ||
| You'd never figured out the airplane if there was pterodactyls. | ||
| It would have taken too much time. | ||
| You'd fly around, they'd jack you, they'd eat you, you'd be like, fuck, we can't fly yet, we gotta kill all the pterodactyls. | ||
| And then you'd never get to them, because you can't fly, so how are you gonna get to them? | ||
| You'd have to get to the point where you invented the jet, like a fighter jet, where there was no pterodactyls. | ||
| That was the only way. | ||
| And then you'd have to fly over to where the fuck they are, make sure you have a big tank of gas, and jack them all, make sure you kill all of them. | ||
| Then you could spread air travel. | ||
| Can you imagine if you had to try to sell tickets for American Airlines, and you might get taken out by a pterodactyl? | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| No one's gonna fly anywhere. | ||
| Most people won't even fly on an airline that has a last name Asia, right? | ||
| At this point, people are terrified about things dropping in the ocean. | ||
| Imagine if there was pterodactyls. | ||
| In the event of a pterodactyl attack, do not panic. | ||
| The key is to look like an egg. | ||
| They can't see very well. | ||
| They don't move. | ||
| They use edge detection. | ||
| In the very unlikely event of a pterodactyl attack. | ||
| It's like, well, I feel like that when I go swimming in the ocean. | ||
| It's like, you know, the sharks are the pterodactyls of the sea. | ||
| They're these ancient tube mouths that are just... | ||
| Monsters. | ||
| Yeah, that one in North Carolina. | ||
| Like, Jaws is happening in North Carolina. | ||
| Well, how about two people got their arms cut off inside of a day? | ||
| Two people, an hour apart from each other, got their fucking arms bitten off. | ||
| First of all, that second dude, did he know about the first dude? | ||
| Because that changes everything. | ||
| If the second dude knew about the first dude and knew they didn't catch the shark yet, he's probably like, well, fuck, man. | ||
| He's full now. | ||
| I've been swimming in Hawaii when there's shark attacks, you know, on Maui. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When we were there, somebody D-I-E-D'd. | |
| Shh, the kids are listening. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah, we had a talk like that. | ||
| That did happen when I was there. | ||
| Dude, it happens all the time. | ||
| Yeah, sharks. | ||
| It happens. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They eat you. | ||
| I mean, they like to keep that shit on the DL. You know, they'll talk about it on the news out there, but the people on the island, they're not scared. | ||
| You know, I mean, that's just life. | ||
| That's the life that they live. | ||
| They don't want to get eaten by sharks, but when I was there, one time I was there and someone died, and another time I was there and there was a news report, totally different time, where this dude got jacked. | ||
| He was fucked up. | ||
| He was in the hospital. | ||
| His leg was fucking eaten apart. | ||
| And, you know, he was just talking about what it felt like, and how his friend rescued him, and then the whole... | ||
| I mean, this is a regular occurrence. | ||
| I'm talking about two separate trips to Hawaii, two fucking shark attacks, both took place while I was there. | ||
| I was a little buzzed and almost fell down a volcano. | ||
| Inside? | ||
| Well, not inside, but on the far side of it. | ||
| They have this beautiful observation place where you can look at a volcano. | ||
| Yeah, man, there was a bar. | ||
| I had a couple of margaritas, and then we were standing out there, and I kind of stumbled for a second and realized I could have just gone sliding down volcanic rock. | ||
| But it wouldn't have been into lava, which would be a glorious way to die. | ||
| No, you would have broken your legs and starved to death out there. | ||
| And you'd be on, like, 18 YouTube videos? | ||
| Especially if you had a GoPro. | ||
| Did you see the GoPro video of the dude who was on the motorcycle who got hit by a truck? | ||
| No. | ||
| You haven't seen it? | ||
| You saw it? | ||
| Does he die? | ||
| Yeah, but Brian showed it to me the other night. | ||
| Um, no. | ||
| He might as well be dead, though. | ||
| He's just fucked beyond repair. | ||
| This guy's going fast, and he head-on collides with a truck. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| That sucks. | ||
| Ooh, it's crazy to watch. | ||
| Do you want to watch it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Let's see it. | ||
| Let's add this to the beaker, goddammit. | ||
| Why do we do this to ourselves? | ||
| This is a tough one. | ||
| Oh, brother, no! | ||
| Are you fucking kidding me? | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| I mean, this is fucking madness. | ||
| Well, who uploaded the video? | ||
| He must have. | ||
| So he's okay. | ||
| Oh, I don't know. | ||
| I mean someone else picks up the GoPro and starts filming him. | ||
| He's good enough to upload videos. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| Someone else picks up the GoPro, but like, stop. | ||
| I can't watch this anymore. | ||
| Can't play it more than two times. | ||
| Shut up quickly, quickly. | ||
| Well, I hope he's doing okay now. | ||
| He's much better. | ||
| He might be. | ||
| Well, he has Nationwide. | ||
| Nationwide? | ||
| Is that Home Insurance? | ||
| Oh God, I'm gonna sing it. | ||
| Which one's Cars? | ||
| I must sing it. | ||
| My hands are sweating from watching that. | ||
| Like, feel my hand right now. | ||
| Feel it. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah, I'm soaked. | ||
| Hyperhidrosis. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Sweaty palms. | ||
| I sweat a lot. | ||
| That's me, dude. | ||
| I'm hyperhidrosis. | ||
| Hyperhidrosis. | ||
| The myth of hyperhidrosis. | ||
| Yeah, I get nervous. | ||
| Anytime I get nervous, my hands sweat like crazy. | ||
| God, mine too. | ||
| My body just thinks like, you better run, run! | ||
| Like, no, we're just about to take a test. | ||
| No, fucking run, dude. | ||
| Fucking run. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| We're just watching a YouTube video. | ||
| No, no, the fucking truck is coming! | ||
| Bah, fucking run! | ||
| I see the bike going towards the truck and my hands just start sweating like they have to just run away somehow. | ||
| I don't know what's going on. | ||
| Is your body like heating up like it thinks it's preparing to burst? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| It's a great question because it doesn't seem like it's going to help. | ||
| Like sweaty palms, it's like if you want to grab onto something, it's going to be harder to do it. | ||
| It seems weird. | ||
| It's the worst. | ||
| It's not good for anything. | ||
| Yeah, your grip gets slippery. | ||
| For pool, it's like it was always a plague of mine. | ||
| I used to actually spray antiperspirant on my hands. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Yeah, and then I found this stuff called... | ||
| It's called like... | ||
| Hands dry or something like that? | ||
| Dry hands or something like that? | ||
| It's essentially like antiperspirant for people that have a problem when they're doing something and need to have dry hands. | ||
| And I would squirt it on my hands and rub it all over my hands and then it would allow me to play pool better where I could concentrate on just playing. | ||
| I didn't have to worry about my hands wiping them down every five minutes. | ||
| I used to bring a wet towel with me and I would wipe my hands with a wet towel and then I would dry them off with a dry towel and I had to do that over and over and over again. | ||
| My hands would just be sweating. | ||
| For no reason. | ||
| No reason. | ||
| It was a stupid game. | ||
| Knocking a ball into another ball and I'm like, life and death! | ||
| Life and death! | ||
| My body temperature's changing! | ||
| I'm sweating! | ||
| Sweating over a fucking game. | ||
| It wasn't even for a lot of money. | ||
| You know, playing a tournament or playing with a buddy and my hands are sweating. | ||
| Like an asshole. | ||
| Yeah, sweat's fucking weird, isn't it? | ||
| What a strange thing that your body just squirts out salt water whenever it gets too hot or freaks out. | ||
| Well, I've been on a hot yoga tear the last two and a half months. | ||
| I've got to tell you, first of all, there's two things that I've been doing the last two and a half months really regularly, and I know one of them is not feasible for a lot of people, so don't complain, and that's cryotherapy. | ||
|
unidentified
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What is it? | |
| I know that shit's expensive. | ||
| It's like 60 bucks every time you do it. | ||
| I'm fucking addicted, dude. | ||
| I do it almost every day. | ||
| Where do you do it? | ||
| I do it down here in Woodland Hills. | ||
| They have a place on Vendura Boulevard. | ||
| Cryo Healthcare. | ||
| There's another place in LA. But there's a lot of people that do it. | ||
| It's not as effective, but it's pretty fucking effective. | ||
| Just an ice bath. | ||
| Just fill up a tank filled with water, or a tub, rather, filled with water, and a lot of fucking ice, and just climb on in. | ||
| I've heard about this. | ||
| And it sucks! | ||
| But there's something that happens when you ice yourself down like that. | ||
| The decrease of inflammation makes you feel fucking fantastic. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it allows your body to heal more effectively. | ||
| Like, dude, extreme cold is incredible for inflammation. | ||
| So I've done it every day, except the weekend. | ||
| I didn't do it the weekend. | ||
| You did it today. | ||
| I did it today, right before the show. | ||
| I do it I do it try to do it five days a week these days and I'm doing it five days a week and I fucking feel Fantastic. | ||
| I've heard that. | ||
| Dude, all my little aches and pains, they're all like diminishing significantly. | ||
| Everything seems to be like loosening up and relaxing. | ||
| What's the mechanics of that? | ||
| I'll explain it. | ||
| But the other thing I'm doing is hot yoga. | ||
| And the hot yoga in combination with that is very interesting because I've been doing the hot yoga at least two days a week. | ||
| And then I'll do like some other stretches like a third day a week with my other workouts that I do. | ||
| But I'm forcing myself to do two days a week of hot yoga. | ||
| It's fucking hard, dude. | ||
| It's hard to do. | ||
| Like, surprisingly hard. | ||
| And when the class is, like, almost over, I'm fucking exhausted. | ||
| I mean, like, really exhausted and so hot that I want to quit. | ||
| I want to quit. | ||
| Like, the last ten minutes is don't be a bitch. | ||
| That's the last ten minutes. | ||
| All the exercises are fairly easy, and it's just don't leave yet. | ||
| Don't leave yet. | ||
| Hang in there. | ||
| Don't leave yet. | ||
| Hang in there. | ||
| And your body's like, dude, this is too fucking hot in here. | ||
| You gotta just deal with it. | ||
| Just deal with it and get through. | ||
| I don't know if you've ever seen the podcast I've done with Dr. Rhonda Patrick. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| I can't wait to talk to her about this, but she's a brilliant, brilliant lady. | ||
| And she wrote a paper about sauna. | ||
| And one of the things about saunas is that they've experienced this radical decrease in mortality rates amongst people who take sauna. | ||
| She was like, it's a 40% decrease across the board with everything. | ||
| With like cancer, heart attacks, all these different things. | ||
| There's an effect that's happening when you hyper-heat the body. | ||
| Saunas, yeah. | ||
| You go into a sauna, a hot sauna. | ||
| There's something that happens when you extremely heat up the body, where the body has to respond to the heat. | ||
| Then it develops this reaction to these extreme temperatures under short durations. | ||
| Now, I don't know how much time you're supposed to sit in a sauna, But the time that you sit in a sauna, whatever happens to your body once you get out and your body cools itself down, there's a compensatory mechanism that helps your body in some crazy way that they're still trying to understand now. | ||
| And the same can be said for cryotherapy. | ||
| And cryotherapy, I think it's called cytokines, like when you get below 150 degrees, your body produces these anti-inflammatory responses. | ||
| There's PubMed studies on it, there's a bunch of different studies explaining it. | ||
| How does it not burn? | ||
| I don't understand you don't get frostbite. | ||
| You're only in there for three minutes. | ||
| Seems like a long time. | ||
| It seems like a long time while you're in there, too, but it's enough that you can get out of it. | ||
| Like, when it gets more than three minutes, it gets real tricky. | ||
| And you don't have to, you don't touch anything. | ||
| Like, your hands are in gloves, you have a surgical mask on your face, you have earmuffs, and the extremities are covered. | ||
| Your extremities are covered with gloves, and your toes are covered with socks, and then you wear crocs. | ||
| So you're standing in rubber crocs, so your feet don't touch the ground. | ||
| What about your cock? | ||
| Your cock is in your underwear. | ||
| Believe it or not, the cock doesn't get that cold. | ||
| I mean, I deal with it. | ||
| I deal with my cock. | ||
| My legs get cold. | ||
| My nipples get fucking cold. | ||
| Like, sometimes I wind up doing this. | ||
| I wind up covering my nipples. | ||
| But for the most part, what's happening is your body is freaking the fuck out because it's freezing cold. | ||
| And then because the fact that it's not freezing cold anymore, it releases this burst of these cytokines and this feeling of just warmth and pain. | ||
| Power through your body where everything just feels like things are knocked loose. | ||
| It's almost like a River runs through a clogged up stream and knocks out all the trees and branches and shit. | ||
| I want to do it, man. | ||
| Oh, please. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| I'll take you tomorrow tomorrow. | ||
| I can't do it tomorrow. | ||
| When can you do it? | ||
| I gotta look at my... | ||
| We'll talk about it off screen, but you're gonna do the Comedy Store on Friday. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Let's do it before the Comedy Store. | ||
| Done. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| We'll freeze ourselves before the Comedy Store. | ||
| There's one on La Cienega. | ||
| I'll try to do a workout before that, too, so that I will have, like... | ||
| Well, some people actually like to do it after a freeze. | ||
| They like to freeze first and then work out later. | ||
| But apparently you can't do that with the ice bath. | ||
| So they were describing this the other day, don't listen to me, but this was something that they were talking about. | ||
| Ryan, the guy who runs the Woodland Hills location, was telling me that if you, was telling somebody else I was eavesdropping, that if you do an ice bath, you're done for the day. | ||
| You don't work out that day. | ||
| Because you're sitting in that thing for like 20 minutes and it's freezing cold and you know, Apparently, you could fuck yourself up if you work out hard after that. | ||
| Joe, you're so funny, man. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| I don't mean to cut you off. | ||
| You're so fucking cool. | ||
| I just realized how cool you are. | ||
| I realized I'm sitting talking to a guy in an astronaut suit about going on Friday to freeze my body in an ice chamber. | ||
| Well, listen, man, if you can do it, you should do it. | ||
| It sounds awesome. | ||
| I want to do it. | ||
| But I'm saying even like be the guy that tells people while you're wearing a NASA suit that you need to get in a triogenic chamber for 270 degrees below zero for three minutes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, you should do that. | ||
| I'm doing it. | ||
| I want to do it. | ||
| We can do these things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You have an isolation tank in your house. | ||
|
unidentified
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I know. | |
| You can do these things. | ||
| You have a fucking Mercedes now. | ||
| You can do these things. | ||
| These things are happening. | ||
| Right. | ||
| These things are happening. | ||
| So weird. | ||
| The world is weird. | ||
| So weird. | ||
| You're selling out all over the country. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| Joey Diaz broke all the records in Boston this weekend. | ||
| Oh, good. | ||
| That makes sense, man. | ||
| That club was sold out in advance before he even got there. | ||
| The place was packed. | ||
| What room was it? | ||
| Laugh Boston. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Great room. | ||
| Have you done it? | ||
| I haven't done it. | ||
| It's very good. | ||
| It's very good. | ||
| I haven't done it. | ||
| Boston is a re-emerging comedy scene. | ||
| We're down to three minutes left. | ||
| Can I announce the show? | ||
| Yes, you can! | ||
| I have two cool shows coming up. | ||
| I'm going to be at the Montreal Comedy Festival doing a set and a podcast. | ||
| And then what's really cool, I just found out about this, but it'll be on my website soon. | ||
| Big tour of Australia coming up in November with Johnny Pemberton. | ||
| I'm going to be in Australia, so anybody out there, please come see me. | ||
| And Johnny in Australia. | ||
| DuncanTrussell.com? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| T-R-U-S-S-E-L-L. Yes. | ||
| Don't get it twisted. | ||
| Duncan Trussell Family Hour. | ||
| Subscribe on iTunes. | ||
| Listen away. | ||
| It's fucking awesome. | ||
| You're the best, buddy. | ||
| You're the best. | ||
| I love you too, Joe. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Happy 666 to you. | ||
| Happy 666. What an honor to be on this show. | ||
| Peace and love, you dirty bitches. | ||
| We'll see you soon. | ||
| Much love. | ||
| Big kiss. |
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