Oct. 7, 2014 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:59:17
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Appearing at the Atlanta Improv October 16th, 17th, and 8th. | ||
| That's how my daughter does punchlines. | ||
| My former, my four-year-old rather. | ||
| My former. | ||
| My four-year-old daughter. | ||
| She goes, what kind of tree grows in your hand? | ||
|
unidentified
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A palm tree! | |
| And then she'll hit the same punchline over and over again. | ||
| Over and over? | ||
| Yeah, it's hilarious. | ||
| Do it with formality, and I want enthusiasm. | ||
|
unidentified
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Appearing at the Atlanta Improv! | |
| It's the one and only Brian motherfucking Callan. | ||
| October 16th, 17th, and 18th. | ||
| Goddammit, I have to sneeze. | ||
| No way, the kid, the kid. | ||
| Dude, in the middle of my... | ||
| Ah, damn it. | ||
|
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In the middle, Brian Callen, Brian the Kid, I'll be the crowd. | |
| Brian the Kid, no way in person. | ||
| I hear he's way better looking and super athletic. | ||
| He's beautiful. | ||
| I hear the way he moves. | ||
| He's beautiful on the inside, too. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| I don't mean his butt, I mean his soul. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Oh, adorable. | ||
| October 16th, 17th, 18th, the Atlanta Improv, if it's like any of the other Improvs, it's awesome. | ||
| The Improv is the premier comedy club chain in the country. | ||
| And... | ||
| If you're nowhere near Atlanta, if you happen to be in Philadelphia or Washington, D.C., I'm at the Tower Theater on Friday, October 7th in Philadelphia, and then I'm at the Warner Theater on Saturday, October 18th. | ||
| Both of those gigs... | ||
| October 18th one in Washington, D.C. The Warner Theater in Washington, D.C. Both those gigs are with Ian Edwards. | ||
| So the 17th in Philadelphia. | ||
| He's awesome. | ||
| He's a fucking legit high-level headliner. | ||
| So Philadelphia, October 17th, and then Washington, D.C., October 18th. | ||
| That's for me. | ||
| And Brian Callen is October 16th, 17th, and 18th. | ||
| And Brian Callen is back in motherfucking civilization! | ||
|
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Yes, ladies and gentlemen. | |
| Five days in the rain, sleeping on a slam, pooing outside. | ||
| I'm not sick, but I do have something going on with my nose. | ||
| Well, it's L.A. air after all that pristine. | ||
| We got dropped off 1,300 feet above sea level in a seaplane. | ||
| Took three planes. | ||
| In a seaplane, get dropped off on a lake, a mountain lake that you could drink out of, which we did drink out of. | ||
| We drank out of the lake. | ||
| That's how clean it is. | ||
| Yeah, it's rainwater. | ||
| Yeah, it's made of rain. | ||
| There's not even any fish in that lake, which is really crazy. | ||
| It's weird, right? | ||
| It's a huge lake, and there's no rivers that go into it. | ||
| And there's also several lakes on Prince of Wales Island. | ||
| I mean, maybe there's a couple of fish in there I don't know about. | ||
| But we didn't see any. | ||
| It's clear, crystal clear water. | ||
| And there's several layers. | ||
| Like, some of them are up high, and other ones are, like, you know, a few hundred feet below it. | ||
| There's another lake. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| Also, when you're hiking through that terrain, you'll cut through the woods and, like, just cut into this rainforest, and then you just come across this clearing with another little pond or lake. | ||
| It's like Shangri-La, man. | ||
| Everywhere there's lakes. | ||
| It gets more rainfall than any other place in America. | ||
| It's 160 inches of rainfall. | ||
| Apparently, Rinella said it's one of the biggest islands in America next to the Hawaiian Islands. | ||
| It's bigger than the big Hawaii Islands. | ||
| Prince of Wales Islands, I believe, is actually bigger. | ||
| That's what our friend Matt said. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| That's what Matt said, but I believe Rinella said it was half the size of the Hawaiian Islands. | ||
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unidentified
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Oh, okay. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| Okay, let's find out. | ||
| Let's find out how big it is. | ||
| Prince of Wales. | ||
| We spent our entire time basically wet, even though you're wearing rain gear, and nothing dries out. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| First day my shirt got wet, it never dried out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's the fourth largest island. | ||
| After Hawaii, Kodiak, and it's one-tenth the size of Ireland. | ||
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unidentified
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Whoa! | |
| Slightly larger than the state of Delaware. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Oh, and very important. | ||
| Didn't see any... | ||
| Basically, you'd be... | ||
| I mean, it's a huge island, man. | ||
| Three planes to get there. | ||
| I'm looking through my binoculars. | ||
| How many deer? | ||
| I saw one. | ||
| Yeah, there wasn't a lot of deer. | ||
|
unidentified
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Well, I saw two. | |
| Two does, which I couldn't shoot. | ||
| Not one buck. | ||
| We can't, according to Rinello, we went there at a bad time, which is fucking weird, since he was the guy hosting the goddamn show and scheduling it. | ||
| Yeah, that means the deer, right. | ||
| That means the deer, even the deer were like, this sucks, let's go to lower land. | ||
| The deer were like, it's too rainy and windy here, let's move down. | ||
| Even the deer were like, see ya. | ||
| Yeah, the deer went towards the ocean. | ||
| The humans with their fire sticks. | ||
| We saw very few animals, but it was still unbelievably beautiful. | ||
| And it was so clean. | ||
| That's the weirdest thing about the air there. | ||
| It was so clean that when we got to LA, we both were like, ew. | ||
| We smelled the air. | ||
| I almost panicked. | ||
| My nose closed up immediately. | ||
| For real. | ||
| Remember? | ||
| We were at the airport. | ||
| I mean, granted, we were in traffic, but I was shocked. | ||
| My system went, what? | ||
| It started closing down. | ||
| Well, we were breathing in this moist, clear air, drinking clean water. | ||
| Look, I'll take this over that every fucking day of the week, first of all. | ||
| I just want to get that out of the way. | ||
| Especially because we didn't have a house. | ||
| We were camping. | ||
| And if you've ever camped in the rain, you might be able to pull it off for a day. | ||
| You might be able to pull it off for two days. | ||
| But once you start getting to that fifth day, oh god does it suck a fat one. | ||
| You know what was happening to me? | ||
| I was becoming a fetishistic, whatever the word is, about my gear. | ||
| Like, how to keep everything dry. | ||
| And I was even making my sandwiches secretly in the tent. | ||
| I would steal away. | ||
| Remember when you said you were like, were you making sandwiches? | ||
| I was like, huh? | ||
|
unidentified
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Huh? | |
| Yeah, you took mayonnaise and bread and meat and went into your tent. | ||
| Yeah, and I hid, and I was like, fuck those guys. | ||
| I'm eating a sandwich. | ||
| I'm eating a dry sandwich, assholes. | ||
| I was turning on the whole camp. | ||
| Well, I got a little bit better at figuring out how to deal with the rain, but at one point, you know, we wore these headlamps, so they're like a mining hat sort of thing on the top of your forehead. | ||
| You have this light, and it's attached to a strap, and I turned it on. | ||
| I turned my strap on inside the tent, and It was like a sea of dew. | ||
| Like the inside of the tent. | ||
| Like everywhere you look, it was like it was raining, these microscopic drops of water. | ||
| It was like looking out into a downpour, a microscopic drop downpour. | ||
| So there's these tiny little drips everywhere. | ||
| But the inside of the tent was filled with moisture. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| Your sleeping bag was wet. | ||
| My sleeping bag had a sheen. | ||
| 51 degrees. | ||
| It's really fun to sleep in that. | ||
| Oh, it's a good time. | ||
| You could take your hand and you rub it over the top of my sleeping bag and your hand would be wet. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And the inside was wet. | ||
| Like, my hands got wet. | ||
| Wool is fucking amazing. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| If you're wearing cotton out there in this kind of weather, you're really fucked. | ||
| But wool is an incredible material. | ||
| When you're wearing wool, wool somehow or another, even if the clothes are wet, you retain heat. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| It's really incredible. | ||
| It's the oils in the wool, I guess, and also wool wicks away moisture from the body for whatever reason. | ||
| But does it? | ||
| Because it must. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It must wick away, but not totally. | ||
| It dries quickly. | ||
| You ever notice that? | ||
| Apparently, it dries quickly, but they say cotton kills. | ||
| If you're in wet... | ||
| Cold environments, and you're hiking or whatever, and you wear cotton, that's how people die. | ||
| Yeah, because you sweat, and then you get wet, and then you get freezing cold. | ||
| We were in a constant state of when you're hiking, first of all, we're following, you weren't, but I was, Following Steve the Billy Goat Rinella, okay? | ||
| This fucker does this shit 365 days a year. | ||
| I'm lucky that I'm in good shape and lucky also that I work my legs out like crazy. | ||
| Those poor guys are like, oh, I guess you skipped leg day. | ||
| You ever see those guys? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| They look like a meatball with two sticks. | ||
| They'd be dead. | ||
| They'd be fucked. | ||
| Terrible hunting bodies. | ||
| Yeah, I worked my legs out more than any other part of my body because of kickboxing. | ||
| And I'm just always doing squats. | ||
| So my legs really didn't get tired, even though it was five days of pretty intense hiking. | ||
| But my cardio got tested, seriously. | ||
| And I was sweating like a fucking pig. | ||
| So you'd get to the top of this. | ||
| First of all, I didn't layer it right. | ||
| Like when we talked to Matin, one of our friends that we met down there. | ||
| Shout out to Matin. | ||
| The Latvian prince. | ||
| All the Latvians. | ||
| And Giannis, his brother. | ||
|
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Another. | |
| Shout out to my guy. | ||
| Shout out to our friend Dean, our English friend Dean. | ||
| Great fucking guy. | ||
| All the people there. | ||
| Mike, shout out to Mike from Austin. | ||
| Cool fucking crew. | ||
| Dan Doty. | ||
| Shout out to fucking Dan, the beautiful Doty. | ||
| The awesome Dan Doty. | ||
| Everybody is beautiful. | ||
| It's a great cat. | ||
| We had a fucking legitimately awesome time in one of the most miserable conditions the world. | ||
| We laughed. | ||
| We laughed the whole time. | ||
| Other than freezing cold. | ||
| It's the most miserable, because you're just drenched all the time. | ||
| Actually, I would take that, honestly, over desert conditions, like 130 degrees. | ||
| That might be a nightmare, because there's no water. | ||
| But my hands were pruning. | ||
| My hands were so wet for so long. | ||
| Forget gloves, by the way. | ||
| Your hands are just going to be wet. | ||
| They look like they've been in a pool for two days. | ||
| But those, again, those First Light, those wool gloves, the fucking wool, even though your hands are wet, it keeps your hands warm. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| I don't know how it works. | ||
| First Light is a company that sponsors, L-I-T-E, First Light. | ||
| They sponsor Meat Eater Podcast. | ||
| We got a bunch of their gear, and our friend Ryan Callahan works for them. | ||
| And everything they make is merino wool. | ||
| And I was like, why is this wool? | ||
| What the fuck is wool? | ||
| Wool is the shit. | ||
| It's the shit. | ||
| In cold weather, you gotta get wool. | ||
| And layer, layer it up. | ||
| Because you keep warm... | ||
| Actually, people wear really tight stuff is the wrong thing to do. | ||
| You want to keep an air pocket around your body. | ||
| That's how animals keep warm. | ||
| So Matin was telling me you should really wear very little when you go out and then keep everything else in your pack. | ||
| That would have been the smart thing to do. | ||
| I didn't do it that way. | ||
| I put all the layers on. | ||
| So by the time I got to the top of the mountain, I'm fucking... | ||
| I'm literally drenched. | ||
| My legs are drenched. | ||
| My upper body's drenched. | ||
| And then you have to sit down and you glass. | ||
| So glassy means you use your binoculars. | ||
| So you sit down, you're looking for deer. | ||
| Who aren't there?! | ||
| There are no deer! | ||
| There's no fucking deer! | ||
| Okay, so we're sitting there looking for deer, freezing my dick completely off. | ||
| And you do well in the cold, but that's the first time I've ever seen you shiver. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, you were shaking. | ||
| You were so cold one time. | ||
| I think it was the morning you came in. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you were like, because you had been spent all night wet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you came in, and I was like, I knew you were too much to say anything, but I was literally like, get him a thermos full of hot water to put in his jacket, because I actually got a little protective over here. | ||
| Aw, sweetie. | ||
| Well, you were shaking, man. | ||
| Yeah, I was definitely shaking. | ||
| That was no joke. | ||
| It was cold. | ||
| I mean, in the morning, it was probably in the 40s. | ||
| It was not the most fun. | ||
| Being wet and cold... | ||
| But I'm telling you, it's better than being hot. | ||
| As weird as it sounds, it sucks a fat dick, but you could warm up just by running up hills. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, if I wanted to, like, while I was freezing, I could have just went, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, and just went running up a hill, and I would have been warm by the time I got to the top of the hill. | ||
| Yeah, I would have been sweating again. | ||
| But the art, there is an art to learning how to, like Matting said, you climb the mountain, he'll climb the top of the mountain, t-shirt and one layer, sweats, takes that t-shirt right off and puts two layers on that are dry. | ||
| Yeah, that's smart. | ||
| And then puts that t-shirt back on when it's time to come down. | ||
| And look, we did this shit on purpose, we did it for fun, for the adventure, because we love Ronella and we love the show and all the guys on the show, but those fucking cameramen, those guys who work on that show, Mike and Dean and, well, Dodie's the producer, but Dan Doty's also a cameraman. | ||
| Those guys that work on that show, Doty's a director too now, and a producer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But those guys that work on that fucking show, god damn they have a hard job. | ||
| Yeah, they do. | ||
| Those guys, they're just getting paid. | ||
| They're getting paid. | ||
| That's what they do every week. | ||
| Every week they're camping somewhere. | ||
| Freezing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hungry? | ||
| You know where they're going next? | ||
| They're going to the jungle. | ||
| They're going down to fucking... | ||
| Bolivia or something? | ||
| Yeah, some crazy shit. | ||
| Where bugs, where you get... | ||
| I said, Dan, are there things to worry about? | ||
| He's been to the Amazon a number of times. | ||
| He goes, oh yeah. | ||
| I said, like what? | ||
| He goes, snakes, spiders, scorpions, and bugs you've never seen before. | ||
| Bugs people don't know about, by the way. | ||
| By the way, whenever Brian Counts here, I, by the way, beat myself to death. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's contagious. | ||
| Hashtag by the way. | ||
| It's like when Brody Stevens is here, you go, enjoy it! | ||
| Enjoy it! | ||
|
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Yes! | |
| You can't help yourself. | ||
| They had that banana spider down there, right? | ||
| Or is that in the Philippines? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, they have a lot of fucked up spiders in the Amazon. | ||
| They have thousands of things that people have never even discovered. | ||
| They're always finding new species of bugs down there. | ||
| Things that defy explanation. | ||
| I don't like bugs, man. | ||
| I'm not a fan. | ||
| I'm okay with other stuff. | ||
| I'm not okay with bugs. | ||
| I like... | ||
| I'll deal with like grizzlies, like okay, there's a grizzly, you'll be scared, but bugs are the intangible, like some huge stinging wasp that can, fuck that, or a spider that puts you in a necrosis, like the brown recluse, your skin starts to decay. | ||
| Jeremy Horne had one of those, and it left like a golf ball-sized hole in his leg. | ||
| Good God. | ||
| He left a fucking hole. | ||
| It just ate through his leg. | ||
| Fer de lance. | ||
| When snakes bite you, that happens. | ||
| This guy got bit in the foot by a fer de lance, which by the way, I believe means sword of fire. | ||
| Fer de lance. | ||
| It's French. | ||
| Fer de lance. | ||
| Fer being fire. | ||
| By the way, Brian Callen did several characters over the time. | ||
| One of the reasons why I love going on these trips with Brian is because it becomes a giant five-day comedy. | ||
| It becomes the Brian Callen show. | ||
| You're not going anywhere. | ||
| Where the fuck are you going to go? | ||
| But it's also your style of humor. | ||
| It's like, that's what you do. | ||
| Like, when there's a group of guys around, all of a sudden... | ||
| I mean, you would think that you would get tired of gay jokes after five days. | ||
| No. | ||
| Because he's got a bunch of different gay characters. | ||
|
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Of course. | |
| Ivan the Russian. | ||
| Ivan the Russian who makes you eat salad for many days before he fucks you in the ass because he wants your asshole clean. | ||
| You gotta have a clean asshole. | ||
| You have to keep clean. | ||
| Your asshole has to be clean. | ||
| Eat just salad, I smack you. | ||
| This video of him explaining to Steve Rinello what he wants Rinello's diet to be like. | ||
| Dodie's thinking about putting it online, like somehow or another figuring out how to put it online in an unnamed way. | ||
| It's mostly because I have you as an audience, and you're one of the best laughers. | ||
| I just realized that after knowing you for 20 years, I was like, you know what? | ||
| I think he might be one of the greatest laughers, because you cackle. | ||
| You literally, when you're laughing, you literally go, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. | ||
|
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It's H-A, H-A, H-A, H-A. How the fuck? | |
| It's seductive to me. | ||
| It's seductive. | ||
| And then those guys are such good audiences, too. | ||
| Well, you know, we were talking about how some comedians are just not good at being, like, an audience member. | ||
| And one of the things that, like, when Brian and I first met, Brian was on this show called Mad TV, and I was a guest on the show. | ||
| And Brian and I were hanging out in the cafeteria. | ||
| We were eating dinner. | ||
| And while we were eating dinner, Brian was making me laugh. | ||
| He was cracking me up. | ||
| But we were with a few other actors, and instead of laughing at Brian, they were trying to one-up him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I was like, ew, this is so gross. | ||
| Like, you can't even just let a guy be funny. | ||
| Like, it's one thing if... | ||
| Like, comedy in those certain circumstances is like, it's a totally intuitive thing. | ||
| It's like you have to know if you actually have something funny to say or not. | ||
| Again, if there's something funny that you can do, you gotta feel it and you just gotta run with it and no one can understand it. | ||
| No one can explain when something's going to be funny and when something's not going to be funny. | ||
| It's completely, totally instinctive. | ||
| But what these guys were doing was like being like ultra, super calculated and competitive. | ||
| They weren't really listening, right? | ||
| They weren't being affected. | ||
|
unidentified
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No! | |
| I was thinking about, you know, it's a very underrated quality when you have a friend who can really laugh at things. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's a really fun thing to have around. | ||
| Yeah, Bravo's great for that. | ||
| That's a really, you know, that's a really, really... | ||
| It's a pleasant thing to be around. | ||
| My sister was my first audience. | ||
| My sister couldn't laugh her ass off at things. | ||
| I remember as a kid her laughing really hard at me, cackling. | ||
| And I was like, oh, I think I might be funny. | ||
| That was the first thing where I was like, my sister actually laughs at me. | ||
| Maybe I can do this, you know? | ||
| That's funny, man. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| So from Montana to Wisconsin to now... | ||
| Well, we failed in this attempt. | ||
| This is the only time... | ||
| Well, I shouldn't say that because the TV show is going to air. | ||
|
unidentified
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Whoops! | |
| Cat's out of the bag! | ||
| Great show either way. | ||
| It's going to be a lot of fun. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, it is. | |
| But we had a great time in every circumstance. | ||
| Even though we're in one of the worst, most uncomfortable positions you could find yourself in. | ||
| Constantly drenched, no hope in sight. | ||
| Your only hope for shelter is this cloth house that you're sleeping in that's the size of a small car. | ||
| You're climbing into a VW Bug that's a cloth house, and inside it you're wet. | ||
| And that's your shelter. | ||
| And it's not an even surface. | ||
| Good luck finding an even surface in Alaska. | ||
| Everything hurt, too, man. | ||
| Like, when I would get up, my back would hurt, my neck would hurt, my shoulders would hurt, because I have to sleep on my side. | ||
| Well, you know, the first two days, I was so tired from hiking, my legs and my hips, because I hadn't had any in my back. | ||
| Pussy! | ||
| I'm a bitch! | ||
| I'm not as stout as you are. | ||
| I'm simply not as stout. | ||
| I prepared for this. | ||
| Remember when I was going to bed? | ||
| You were like, you're going to bed? | ||
| I was like, no, I'm just going to go to my... | ||
| I have to just work out. | ||
| I'm going to go just read. | ||
| I have to take care of something. | ||
| I was literally out, dude. | ||
| Yeah, you were snoring. | ||
| I really prepared for this. | ||
| I always work out, but I did a lot of stair climber for this. | ||
| You're a dick, man. | ||
| I didn't do shit. | ||
| Of course you did. | ||
| That's smart. | ||
| And I did a lot of elliptical on like very heavy, like I put the elliptical on like number 21 and just fucking... | ||
| And I'd do sprints. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I knew, man. | ||
|
unidentified
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I should have done that. | |
| I knew. | ||
| I should have just run hills with a pack on my back. | ||
| Well, also, I did a lot of bodyweight squats. | ||
| Bodyweight squats and pistol squats. | ||
| Pistol squat's important because there's a lot of times you're picking yourself up with one leg. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like you're... | ||
| We were, first of all, I don't know how you guys did it, but Renella will climb up some treacherous fucking surfaces. | ||
| Well, they told me that, Giannis told me that we were moving at a simple pace, like not a hard pace. | ||
| He goes, and he said, you have no idea how fast. | ||
| He goes, have you ever been with Renell? | ||
| I said, no. | ||
| He said, you have no idea how fast he moves. | ||
| And that's when he said it. | ||
| He said, we were literally moving at our own time. | ||
| Well, Remy Warren, I don't know if they've ever tested Ranella's cardio, but Remy, who's also a big-time hunter, he hunts 300 days a year, he's got that show Solo Hunter, and he's got a few shows that he's working on right now with Dan Doty. | ||
| Fascinating guy, but his cardio is so good, it's at elite endurance athlete levels. | ||
| They tested his cardio, and his VO2 max is off the charts. | ||
| And it's because he's usually got 100 pounds of elk on his back, and he's climbing uphill, and it's 9,000 fucking feet elevation. | ||
| And he does that all the time. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Because he lives in Reno, and he does a lot of his hunts. | ||
| A lot of his hunts are mountain hunts. | ||
| He does mountain hunts in New Zealand during the off-season. | ||
| He's constantly climbing up mountains. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, your lung capacity... | ||
| Different kind of shape. | ||
| It's a different thing. | ||
| Because you're also doing it all day. | ||
| Well, Bernal was telling me that he took these bodybuilders out with him, these powerlifter guys. | ||
| And then there's big, strong guys. | ||
| And, you know, so like, what we're going to do is going to require, you know, a lot of endurance. | ||
| And this guy's like, we're in incredible shape. | ||
| Don't worry about it. | ||
| He said literally 30 minutes in, they were throwing up. | ||
| 30 minutes in. | ||
|
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Wow. | |
| He's like, this is a long day. | ||
| Like, do you understand that we're going to do this for eight hours? | ||
| And you're throwing up. | ||
| Because when you have... | ||
| If you look at a guy like Ranella, okay? | ||
| Ranella probably weighs... | ||
| 165, 170, somewhere around there. | ||
| He's a lean, thin guy. | ||
| 661, maybe? | ||
| Lean and thin, and been doing it his whole life. | ||
| And his specialty is mountain hunting. | ||
| So he's constantly climbing, which is great, because he can give you all the tips on, like, gear and what kind of... | ||
| It makes a big goddamn difference. | ||
| I had two different types of shoes. | ||
| One, you know, because I knew that they were probably going to get soaked, and one, which worked out really good, the Schneez, and these other ones, I won't name, that sucked a fat one. | ||
| They were terrible. | ||
| They just were slippery. | ||
| They just didn't have the same kind of grip. | ||
| And, you know, if you listen to Renell, he'll give you like the lowdown. | ||
| This is the shit to wear. | ||
| Get this because of that. | ||
| Get that because of this. | ||
| But his body, he doesn't have a lot of mass. | ||
| You know, I weigh 30 pounds more than him. | ||
| So I'm shorter than him. | ||
| I weigh 30 pounds more than him. | ||
| And I'm carrying a pack and a gun and all these things I'm not used to. | ||
| And you're constantly trying to go. | ||
| If you're bigger than that, like a big power builder guy, a big power lifter, one of those 250 pound characters, that extra 50 pounds will fucking sap your heart, man. | ||
| How did they do? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Terrible! | |
| They were throwing up a half an hour in. | ||
| They were done. | ||
| I mean, he's like, literally, they were like, you know, an hour into the trip, they're stopped, hands on their knees. | ||
| They don't train for it. | ||
| It's a different body type. | ||
| Well, powerlifters are terrible when you see them doing jiu-jitsu. | ||
| This guy, Marius Pujanowski, you know who he is? | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| Strongest man in the world for a while. | ||
| Just unbelievable brute of a man. | ||
| He started fighting MMA, and Tim Sylvia, who has like... | ||
| Tim's a great fighter, but he does not have a good body, you know? | ||
| Sorry, Tim, if you're listening. | ||
| I mean, look, when he was in his best shape, like, versus Rico Rodriguez when he won the UFC heavyweight title... | ||
| He's not Hector Lombard, in other words. | ||
| He's just genetic. | ||
| It's just genetic. | ||
| It's 100% genetic. | ||
| I mean, he's pigeon-toed. | ||
| That's genetic. | ||
| I mean, I think, unless Kelly Starrett says that it's not... | ||
| He's probably right. | ||
| I've always felt like people who walk like that, it's just the way they're born, but I bet that could be corrected. | ||
| He thinks it's emulating. | ||
| Kelly, who created this crazy ball that you're supposed to roll on your back, this wad, I forget what this is called, workout of the day, I forget what this is called, supernova, that's what it's called. | ||
| This is the latest and greatest of those things that you roll on to massage your back. | ||
| I bought three of these. | ||
| They're fucking amazing. | ||
| I don't want to go anywhere without one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| One of Mark Delagrate's students gave me this, and I just started ordering them. | ||
| They leave them in the office, they leave them around the house. | ||
| They're amazing. | ||
| Awesome. | ||
| But anyway, Sylvia, who is not a bodybuilder, he's not a powerlifter, he's just a really strong guy, he fought Pujanowski and beat the shit out of him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He tired him, dragged him into deep water, and then fucked him up. | ||
| But Pudgenowski's goddamn crazy for challenging Tim Sylvia, former UFC heavyweight champion. | ||
| That is nuts. | ||
| He had like two MMA fights. | ||
| Sylvia would light him up. | ||
| He's built like this. | ||
| It's really weird you're talking about this because today my wife was having breakfast with the wife of two former NFL women. | ||
| Greats are really good players. | ||
| Giants. | ||
| Andre Carter, who played for 13 years as a defensive end. | ||
| He's 6'5", 250. Looks like he's a different kind of human being. | ||
| And Marvell Smith, who was a tackle for the Steelers for like 10 years. | ||
| And they want to come hunting. | ||
| She was like, oh, they would love to come hunting. | ||
| And the first thing I thought was, these men are 250 and 320 pounds or whatever, respectively. | ||
| And I don't know if they can. | ||
| And with their knees after playing football for 13 years, it's going to be very hard for them to climb a mountain. | ||
| Yeah, a lot of those guys, they're done when they're old. | ||
| It's just different. | ||
| It's just a different kind of thing. | ||
| Well, it's also, when you have damage to those primary joints, hips and knees, you really see the loss of mobility. | ||
| It's pretty goddamn substantial. | ||
| Although, apparently, they have pretty amazing new artificial knees. | ||
| They're getting better and better at it. | ||
| Dude, they're growing dicks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yes. | ||
| Stop everything. | ||
| I just tweeted it today. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| And they've done this for folks who have, you know, like issues. | ||
| Microphalluses? | ||
| Or mutilation, injury, circumcision injuries, things along those lines. | ||
| Or war injuries. | ||
| Yeah, anything along those lines. | ||
| Wait, so they're growing dicks? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Jamie, if you go to my tweeter, there's a dude named Vincent Salazar, who, Vincent Salazar11.com. | ||
| And it says, his tweet to me is, it may not be a pill, but it will be a boob job for men. | ||
| Well, maybe they're printing out tissue the way they do with other tissue? | ||
| I didn't read it. | ||
| I gave it a cursory glance. | ||
| But apparently they're about five years away. | ||
| They look rather small there. | ||
| Well, these are just cells, bro. | ||
| These are just cells. | ||
| I mean, they're five years away from being able to grow laboratory dicks. | ||
| I want something with heft that folds over when I'm holding it to pee. | ||
| I want it to fold, like, in half. | ||
| I want it to have a lot left over. | ||
| What about this? | ||
| Would you take, like, say... | ||
| Do you think that dudes who have, like, medium-sized dicks are going to take a chance and get their dick lopped off and get a new one put on, hoping that their body's going to accept it? | ||
| That's a very, very sacred part of a man, right? | ||
| I mean, that's... | ||
| That's a huge... | ||
| Like, if you were going into that as a venture capitalist, with the assumption that men would do that, I would tell you not to put your money into it. | ||
| I would tell you to put your money into it, because there's some dudes out there with some one-inch dicks. | ||
| Well, that's a whole different story, but if you have a medium dick, I would imagine, you know... | ||
| A medium dick. | ||
| I don't know what that's like, because I've got a piece on me. | ||
| You've got a giant dick. | ||
| But there was a guy that was a performance artist, and part of his performance art was that he would take all his clothes off. | ||
| And he had a dick that was, and I'm not bullshitting, the size of the last digit of my pinky. | ||
| I've been in enough acting classes and seen enough nude scenes, and there are some dudes, and one dude who was just a macho guy, he was a hairdresser, and he did a naked scene, and I am telling you, I am telling you, I can see just the head of it in a sea of black hair. | ||
| We had a dude on Fear Factor. | ||
| And there was a naked Fear Factor. | ||
| The one and only naked Fear Factor. | ||
| Where we got in trouble for it. | ||
| Because we made these people do a naked fashion show. | ||
| They took their clothes off, they went out on the runway and they spun around. | ||
| And this one guy was this fucking yoked up dude. | ||
| Looked like he was a macho guy. | ||
| And he talked about it beforehand. | ||
| He's like, alright, here we go. | ||
| And he went out there like a fucking stud. | ||
| Good for him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God bless him. | |
| You know what? | ||
| Hand him. | ||
| He was like, you know what? | ||
| Here's my dick. | ||
| I got a personality and I can bench more than everybody in this room. | ||
| Well, he's like, you know, hey, man, I didn't fucking fail dick school. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| This is what I was born with. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's all good. | |
| But maybe he would lop it off and get one of these giant ones. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, if you could add tissue to your wang... | ||
| Hey, by the way, most guys with 12-inch sticks would be like, I'll add another inch. | ||
| No fucking way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| No. | ||
| Guys are extreme. | ||
| Guys are like, eh, I'll add some stuff to it. | ||
| Well, that would be like those crazy girls who have breast implants that are just unbelievably ridiculous, like basketball-sized, and they want to get them bigger. | ||
| A lot of guys, there's this... | ||
| There's a lot of guys in, I don't know if it's just the gay community, but the special they did was two guys in the gay community who were shooting their dicks with silicone. | ||
| Liquid silicone? | ||
| And saline too, they do that, right? | ||
| Yeah, and so it created this, and the problem was, it just created this amorphous blob that they would stuff into jeans. | ||
| And they'd be like, check this out, sorry about my dick. | ||
| Sorry about my piece. | ||
| Just stretching my Sergio Valente's. | ||
| All fucking... | ||
| The outside of it was all pudgy and dimpled. | ||
| Oh, dimpled. | ||
| Like cottage cheese dick. | ||
| What's that bump? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Silicon gone awry. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| Damn silicon. | ||
| So unpredictable. | ||
| I mean, you think about when people have cellulite on their legs. | ||
| Imagine if you got that on your dick. | ||
| Like, if a cellulite dick... | ||
| Have you ever, like some of those medical journals, I sat next to a dermatologist, oh no, a plastic surgeon, and she was going through her iPad and she had pictures, and I was sitting next to her, she was asking me about acting, and I was, she was showing me, and some of them, she was really, she was covering the faces of these patients with her hand so I wouldn't see their faces, because she was that professional, even on a plane. | ||
| She was trying to protect their privacy or whatever. | ||
| I saw this guy had a growth on his body, on his shoulder. | ||
| It looked like a shoulder pad of skin, of cauliflower. | ||
| And I said, how do you take that off? | ||
| And she said, you don't. | ||
| And I said, what do you mean? | ||
| She goes, it's just too full of blood vessels. | ||
| He would die. | ||
| This is part of his body, and he has to have it. | ||
| I go, so he just leaves a giant flap of cauliflower on his back and shoulders? | ||
| She said, yeah, unfortunately. | ||
| It's just a deformity. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And there's so many. | ||
| You see those medical journals and you're like, oh boy. | ||
| Some people, you know, don't realize how lucky you are. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I do. | |
| Just to be... | ||
| After hiking in Canada, I do. | ||
| Living in some civilization. | ||
| Well, we're in Canada. | ||
| We're in Alaska. | ||
| I'm in Alaska. | ||
| Alaska is America. | ||
| Looks like it's Canada. | ||
| Should be Canada. | ||
| It's British Columbia is like around the corner. | ||
| Well, we stole it from Russia, right? | ||
| Isn't that the deal? | ||
| Probably. | ||
| They can have it back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| Fuck that. | ||
| That place is awesome, man. | ||
| Alaska. | ||
| Good people in Alaska. | ||
| Well, that's one of the things that I realized when I went to Anchorage with Ari when we went fishing and then we did some shows up there at the Bear's Tooth. | ||
| The thing about Alaska is that there's this insane wilderness around them, and there's not a shit ton of people, so they develop this different kind of community. | ||
| Even though Anchorage is a real city, there's a nice bond. | ||
| I think it's because they may have to rely on each other in a real way. | ||
| Oh yeah, there's fucking bears! | ||
| Look, dude, when we were in Anchorage, there was just that year a fucking kid on campus was killed by a moose. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yes! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Yes! | ||
| Well, listen, we met a guy, Matt, what's his last name? | ||
| Matt. | ||
| Which guy? | ||
| The guy who took care of us. | ||
| Matt from Alaska. | ||
| Yeah, Matt from Alaska, who drove us to the airport. | ||
| Sent our bags. | ||
| Just did us a solid that most people would never do in LA. Matt Hamilton. | ||
| Matt Hamilton. | ||
| You handed him your very expensive, you know, stuff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, he's a good dude. | ||
| You know, you get a sense of people, like, in these communities where they're... | ||
| It's not like the hustle and bustle of New York City where there's a million rats all stuck in a maze and everybody's fucking fighting for the last crumb of cheese and jammed up in traffic. | ||
| No, these folks are fishing. | ||
| That guy was offering us fucking halibut. | ||
| I got some frozen halibut. | ||
| I got deer. | ||
| I can run back and get deer. | ||
| He caught a 160 pound halibut. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| That's a person. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's, I mean, and a halibut. | ||
| It's like literally probably almost the size of this desk that we're sitting at. | ||
| I couldn't believe how big it is. | ||
| It's like a giant flounder. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Looks like a flounder on steroids. | ||
| It's in the flounder family, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's an amazing, amazing part of the world. | ||
| And the fishing there is just, the waters are so rich. | ||
| Alaska truly is like the last wilderness. | ||
| The last great wilderness. | ||
| I love those shows. | ||
| I don't know if you ever watched them. | ||
| Life Below Zero and stuff? | ||
| Do you watch those? | ||
| I haven't watched any of them. | ||
| Fucking great, man. | ||
| Life Below Zero is the best out of all those. | ||
| There's Alaska, The Last Frontier, which is pretty good too, but I caught a little fuckery on that show. | ||
| You did? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They're doing some fucking reality TV show bullshit. | ||
| Like, they had a bear that was there, and they were running away from the bear, and they were fishing on this river. | ||
| The guy and his wife were fishing on the river, and they're like, we gotta get away from this bear. | ||
| The bear's eating filleted salmon, so they baited the bear. | ||
| They baited the bear to get there, and then they could film him. | ||
| That's annoying. | ||
| The bear's eating a salmon. | ||
| I'm looking at these clean, like, fillet marks, where the fillets were removed from the body, but the head and the tail remained. | ||
| It wasn't anything that a bear did. | ||
| The bear didn't, like, catch that salmon and eat it there, and they didn't catch any salmon, so it was just bullshit. | ||
| They were just baiting. | ||
| They were like, oh, the bears, we've got to get out of here! | ||
| You can kind of tell whenever they're acting a little bit, too. | ||
| It's unfortunate, but that always happens in those goddamn shows, man. | ||
| They run out of shit to do. | ||
| But Life Below Zero, they follow five different people, or six different people, and there's always something that these people are doing, because they have to prepare for the river rising, they have to prepare for bears coming into camp, they have to prepare for all these different things. | ||
| So, fascinating stuff. | ||
| Nature, you know, it's interesting because if you look at anything in nature, including human beings, whether it's, you know, an ant or a spider rolling something, a web, whatever it is, everybody in nature is constantly fighting nature. | ||
| It's a fight, just to survive. | ||
| If you want to survive out there, you can see why man has always kind of pitted himself against nature, just the constant struggle of trying to push yourself back. | ||
| Into a situation where you don't have to deal and contend with nature. | ||
| We've done a pretty good job of it, you know, by figuring out ways to innovate and ways to control our environment and stuff. | ||
| But if you had to scratch out a living, and look at animals. | ||
| I mean, you can watch deer who don't move very much because they have to conserve energy. | ||
| And they have to stay in one area and they eat in that one area, then they move down to lower land. | ||
| But a lot of times, guess what happens that people don't realize with deer? | ||
| They starve to death. | ||
| Oh, not just sometimes, like often. | ||
| Often. | ||
| It happens all the time. | ||
| It's brutal. | ||
| Most of these people that are against hunting or that think that somehow or another that nature is supposed to be this peaceful thing, they don't understand what the reality of the life of these animals is. | ||
| Teddy Roosevelt had a great quote on people who don't understand hunting and people who have a problem with it who love nature, and he wrote that death by violence Death by cold, death by starvation, these are the normal ends of the noble and stately creatures of the wilderness. | ||
| The sentimentalists who prattle about the peaceful life of nature do not understand its utter mercilessness. | ||
| Life is hard and cruel, And these, oh, okay. | ||
| Wow, this is a fucked up speech. | ||
| And in what these sentimentalists call a state of nature. | ||
| Yeah, it's, in Hobbes said, short, brutish. | ||
| What is the expression? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Short and brutish. | |
| Nature is tough. | ||
| Well, you know what it is? | ||
| It's indifferent. | ||
| That was one of the things that we said when we got to this place. | ||
| When we sat out there and looked out off the top of those mountains and we looked at all this... | ||
| You feel so insignificant. | ||
| No people. | ||
| No people. | ||
| Enormous, enormous place. | ||
| Not a fucking person to be seen. | ||
| And one of the first things that we were thinking was like, it's so indifferent. | ||
| It just doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| It doesn't give a fuck if you're here or... | ||
| Well, Ranella was saying also that, you know, the Native Americans that lived there were, you know, hundreds of years ago, whatever, stayed on the coast. | ||
| They ate a lot of shellfish and fished. | ||
| They didn't really go into the interior to get deer. | ||
| It's just so difficult to do. | ||
| Well, especially before they had firearms. | ||
| It was very difficult. | ||
| I mean, can you imagine? | ||
| I mean, you want to shoot an animal with a bow and arrow, especially an old school bow and arrow, you must get inside of 30 yards. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 40 yards, you're fucking really pushing it, man. | ||
| Even with a compound bow, a 40-yard shot is very difficult to be accurate with. | ||
| And those old bows, a lot of them just didn't have the amount of power to pull. | ||
| The Mongols had these crazy fucking bows. | ||
| But they require like 160 pounds of pull. | ||
| Like you could probably shoot at a reliable 50-60 yard distance with those if you got really good at it, but you're fucking practicing with those goddamn things every day. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| If you have a spear, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| How far can you throw a spear? | ||
| Can you even throw a spear 10 yards? | ||
| I mean, how far can you reliably throw a spear? | ||
| Especially to make it, and throw it accurately? | ||
| And hit an animal and kill it or graze it and it's going to run off and go nowhere near you. | ||
| So they hung around where the water was because shellfish and netting, you can net fish and there was a more reliable way to capture meat. | ||
| Were you with me when, who was telling a story about how the Inuit would bend a bone? | ||
| They'd bend a bone and they would cover it in fat. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And it would be frozen fat, and then the polar bear would come, eat the bone, and the bone would open, expand in the polar bear's stomach or throat, and suddenly it would basically take three days to die, and they would follow it until it died, and then take just for the coat, because that's how they kept warm. | ||
| Well, one of the ways they used to kill wolves, they would take a knife, like a razor-sharp knife, and they would embed it into the ground and put blood on the knife. | ||
| So the wolves would come along and lick the knife and cut their tongue open and bleed to death. | ||
| Well, they would keep licking and bleeding and licking and bleeding. | ||
| Because they would taste the blood. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then they would just die there. | ||
| Fucking dumb cunt wolves. | ||
| Kind of genius. | ||
| That's pretty brilliant. | ||
| Well, you know, people are ingenious when they have to stay alive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And we obviously didn't have to stay alive. | ||
| We had meals. | ||
| We had food. | ||
| We had, you know, we brought apples and protein bars and all kinds of shit. | ||
| Plenty of complaining, though. | ||
| Plenty of complaining. | ||
| But think about if we had to live off the land while we were there. | ||
| What the fuck did we find? | ||
| We found a couple salamanders. | ||
| We saw a duck. | ||
| Six or seven blueberries. | ||
| Yeah, there was these blueberries. | ||
| There were these microscopic, like a head of a match blueberries. | ||
| And they tasted like powder. | ||
| They tasted like nothing. | ||
| Good luck surviving, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| I ate a handful of them, and one of them was kind of sweet. | ||
| But you go to Whole Foods, you get these fucking juicy GMO blueberries. | ||
| Don't even know where they came from. | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| They're a tennis ball size. | ||
| You fucking bite down on them and they blow up in your mouth. | ||
| And even then you're like, I need more food. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Death by violence, death by cold, death by starvation. | ||
| Teddy Roosevelt was a bad motherfucker. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| The normal ends. | ||
| Wasn't it Teddy Roosevelt who designated Yellowstone Park as a national park? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| And Yosemite, I believe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did he? | |
| Yep. | ||
| Smart man. | ||
| Yes, he was. | ||
| That's a good place for a national park. | ||
| That's an unbelievably beautiful place that's going to kill everybody eventually. | ||
| With the super volcano? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| I've been thinking about nothing else since you told me about that. | ||
| Terrifying. | ||
| That's the black swan, as they say. | ||
| That's like everybody's going about their life and all of a sudden, guess what? | ||
| There's a super volcano that could eradicate life on Earth. | ||
| Well, not just one. | ||
| There's six of them worldwide and two of them are in California, which is really crazy. | ||
| God, basically big zits on the Earth. | ||
| Yeah, there's supervolcanoes everywhere. | ||
| There's supervolcanoes all over the world. | ||
| And there's not just one in Yellowstone. | ||
| There's a gigantic supervolcano, I think we said in Indonesia, that they think is responsible for the reason why there is only... | ||
| You know, they believe that 75,000 years ago, this supervolcano in Indonesia exploded, and when it exploded, they think that that's why all human beings have some sort of a relationship to each other, that we all came from an original group of human beings. | ||
| 74,000 years ago, Toba, it's a caldera volcano in Sumatra. | ||
| It's ready for this, hold onto your dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
1,080 square miles. | |
| So people are living on top of it as we speak. | ||
| No, I don't know if they are or not, but it's in Sumatra, Indonesia. | ||
| And it's the only supervolcano in existence that can be described as Yellowstone's big sister. | ||
| 74,000 years ago, Toba erupted and ejected several thousand times more material than erupted from Mount St. Helens in 1980. Several thousand times more. | ||
| Some researchers think that Toba's ancient super-eruption and the global cold spell it triggered might explain a mystery in the human genome. | ||
| Our genes suggest that we all come from a few thousand people just tens of thousands of years ago instead of From a much older, bigger lineage, as fossil evidence testifies. | ||
| So, we have the fossil evidence, which shows a much older... | ||
| Cro-Mags. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Broader lineage. | ||
| But the people of today all come from a few thousand people that might have been the only fucking human beings that survived this goddamn supervolcano 74,000 years ago. | ||
| So, that's why they can trace, like, Hasidic Jews in Finland or in Hungary. | ||
| To Africans. | ||
| Yeah, to Africans. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Unbelievable. | ||
| And that's all 74,000 years ago, man. | ||
| So, so, so... | ||
| So then, the... | ||
| But we do find with the genome that some people have some Cro-Magnon genes, right? | ||
| I think... | ||
| Well, we are Cro-Magnon. | ||
| I think you're thinking of Neanderthal. | ||
| I mean Neanderthal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, there's... | ||
| I think there's... | ||
| Obviously, I'm an idiot. | ||
| Don't listen to me. | ||
| Google this. | ||
| But I think there's debate on this because I think that some believe that these genomes are from a common ancestor. | ||
| And that I think there's debate as to whether or not people fuck Neanderthals or Neanderthals fuck people we interbred. | ||
| I've joked around about it that I'm pretty sure someone in my past fucked a monkey. | ||
| When people were just starting to not be monkeys anymore. | ||
| You're really flexible. | ||
| You've got long arms. | ||
| Let me just one more time. | ||
| One more time. | ||
| I'm just going to get back in there. | ||
| And somehow the monkey got pregnant. | ||
| I'm like, what the fuck? | ||
| And that's where my line came from. | ||
| Simi and G. But I think that there's debate as to whether or not humans interbred with Neanderthals and that's why or whether or not we have a common ancestor. | ||
| I don't think it's been completely figured out yet, but if Neanderthals were around, for sure somebody would fuck one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People fuck chickens. | ||
| At least one person. | ||
| I've seen people fuck chickens. | ||
| My buddy was a cop. | ||
| He found a guy fucking a chicken in a car. | ||
| He was a family man. | ||
| And he had a chicken under a fucking towel. | ||
| And he goes, what are you doing? | ||
| He goes, nothing. | ||
| First of all, I love that expression. | ||
| Family man. | ||
| He's a family man. | ||
| He's a family man in San Francisco. | ||
| He's fucking a chicken under a towel. | ||
| Excuse me, sir. | ||
| Is that illegal? | ||
| I think it is illegal. | ||
| Like, they can arrest you for cruelty to animals or something, but then again, you eat chicken? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, isn't that weird? | ||
| But they had to make a... | ||
| It's like public indecency. | ||
| I think they get you on stuff like that, but you were fucking a chicken. | ||
| Although, how about this? | ||
| That's a very good question, because... | ||
| Yes, Your Honor, I fuck the chicken under a towel. | ||
| It's my thing. | ||
| Free country. | ||
| You kill and eat chickens. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So, I don't know. | ||
| And I should be able to fuck the chicken, then kill and eat it, technically. | ||
| Or kill and then fuck it. | ||
| But that's like you're a weirdo. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you kill it and then fuck it, you're like some sort of necrophiliac. | ||
| I wonder if that's a law, though. | ||
| I have a joke about it. | ||
| Have you ever heard the joke? | ||
| No. | ||
| Well, it's a bit about you can kill an animal, but you're not allowed to fuck it. | ||
| But what you can do is take a meal-sized portion and use it to jerk off with. | ||
| If someone came into your house, you were jerking off with a chicken cutlet? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, what the fuck? | ||
| I can't have my privacy? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Like, it's my chicken. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But as long as it's... | ||
| Like, no one would stop you. | ||
| Like, look, look. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| A fleshlight. | ||
| What's a fleshlight? | ||
| A fleshlight is something that resembles flesh that's made out of, like, some sort of a rubber, whatever, epoxy. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck it's made out of. | ||
| Polymer. | ||
| You're putting your penis in that because it feels like flesh. | ||
| Well, how green would it be to take an actual chicken cutlet, use it to jerk off with, warm it up in a microwave so it feels like flesh, or let it sit at room temperature, whatever. | ||
| You jerk off with it, and then you cook it and eat it. | ||
| That's like you're making best use of all the materials. | ||
| That would be, probably they couldn't do anything to you. | ||
| But if you fucked a chicken, they could probably do something to you. | ||
| Well, Jonathan Haidt, who is a guy who studies this, he wrote a book called The Happiness Hypothesis, talks exactly about this example. | ||
| He said, if you masturbated, if you took a dead chicken and you ate it, it would be fine. | ||
| If you took the dead chicken, fucked it, came in it, and then ate it, people would be like, oh! | ||
| He's another really difficult example. | ||
| What if you didn't come? | ||
| What if you're like a tantric guy? | ||
| Good question. | ||
| You put your penis in and you're like... | ||
| That's how I fuck chickens. | ||
| I draw the line in actually cum in them. | ||
| I cum on them. | ||
| I cum on them. | ||
|
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|
You just get that tight end. | |
| That's the weakest muscle I have. | ||
| Everything else is really strong. | ||
| My muscle's gotten better as I've gotten older. | ||
| It's like an old lady's underarm. | ||
| You know, old ladies, underneath their arm just fucking dangles. | ||
| There's no power to it. | ||
| You got no strength. | ||
| Old ladies can't do dips. | ||
| In your cum muscle. | ||
| Put like a weight belt on an old lady and tell her to do dips. | ||
| That's like how strong my cum muscle is. | ||
| The dam breaks. | ||
| Yeah, it just goes. | ||
|
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|
It's made of tissue paper. | |
| It's basically curtains. | ||
| Yeah, it doesn't have any power to hold back. | ||
| But Jonathan Haidt talks about fucking... | ||
| He used that example, then he used another example where he says, if a brother and sister in the woods use protection and have sex... | ||
| It's the same idea. | ||
| We immediately go, oh, that's wrong. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| But he says, okay, it's wrong. | ||
| It is. | ||
| That's taboo in most cultures. | ||
| But, again, they're not having kids, they had sex, and nobody's getting hurt. | ||
| They're both, you know, they go on with their lives. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Why do we have this revulsion? | ||
| We have this built-in, we as a society, as people, universally have these very interesting through lines in culture. | ||
| One being that all cultures recognize, all cultures, no matter how primitive, recognize humorous insults. | ||
| Every culture, no matter how primitive, has a form of humorous insults for each other. | ||
| They make fun of each other. | ||
| Every culture? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Even Japanese? | ||
| According to Steven Pinker, every culture they've ever studied, 100%, has a place for humorous insult. | ||
| So making fun, ribbing each other, right? | ||
| And you're talking about the most primitive tribes or the most aboriginal tribes and the most technologically advanced tribes all have always had some form of humorous insults. | ||
| The other is a recognition for certain things that are... | ||
| Taboo. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But they're different across the board culturally. | ||
| Like we were talking about those cultures in New Guinea. | ||
| The semen warriors in New Guinea that have this crazy thing where they molest young boys. | ||
| Or widow strangling, where if a woman's husband dies, the next man closest to the husband strangles her. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But those are very, very isolated tribes that have not shared any ideas with other people, that had no cross-pollination. | ||
| So you're going to get very weird, fetishistic sort of examples of human behavior in that. | ||
| Yeah, and that's also like, we know that when people molest children, that those children who have been molested often have this very distorted idea of sexuality and sometimes become abusers themselves. | ||
| Yeah, and that this could have easily happened on these small island percent, but these are large groups of people like thousands of people practice these this new guinea semen warrior ritual is still very small in relation people need to read about this because I mean we're not going into depth about it I mean it's it's an incredible fucking bizarre thing these new guinea warriors are They take these young boys away from their mother at a very early age, and they start having sex with them. | ||
| And they do it because they say that the boy needs semen in order to grow up strong and healthy. | ||
| By ingesting semen, either through their mouth or through their butt. | ||
| And this is how they grow up. | ||
| I mean, this is the semen warriors of New Guinea. | ||
| Google it and freak the fuck out. | ||
| New Guinea has, Jared Diamond did so many examples, so many crazy examples of insane human behavior. | ||
| It's usually probably some lone pervert who's like, let's fuck boys, and now he's the leader. | ||
| But, you know, that's why they have cannibalism and all kinds of stuff. | ||
| But whenever you see a large population, a civilization, of people who have been able to cross-pollinate ideas. | ||
| So if you take huge areas, the Bantu Belt of Africa, the Fertile Crescent of North Africa and of the Middle East, China, for example. | ||
| That's where taboos have strong sexual undercurrents, where certain sexual activity, a lot of times, is very taboo. | ||
| And there's a lot of similarities you can draw with that, which is interesting. | ||
| So there are through lines you can draw with cultures. | ||
| You do get those aberrations with those smaller groups of people that do really weird stuff. | ||
| They're just isolated people. | ||
| We were talking about the New Guinea people when we were on our trip, about eating their dead bodies and the way they would explain this insane fucking thing that they... | ||
| Yeah, well, I had Jared Diamond on the podcast and I said, tell me about, you've seen them cannibalize. | ||
| And he said, you really want to know about it? | ||
| I said, yeah. | ||
| He said, well, you asked for it. | ||
| And he said, some tribes, when they would have warring, they'd have a war and they'd kill somebody, they would eat, they'd chop it up, cook the body. | ||
| But, there are tribes in Papua New Guinea that will take the body, like if a relative dies. | ||
| They'll take the body, they'll lay it out naked on slats of wood, so there are slats, so there are holes, and they put buckets under the slats, and they let the body just putrefy and gel to the point where it starts to drip into the buckets. | ||
| And then they take their sweet potatoes, and they dip their sweet potatoes into the human goo. | ||
| And they eat it. | ||
| Oh, and here's the other problem. | ||
| The reason a lot of... | ||
| Life expectancy for most of them in the Highlands was like 40 years old. | ||
| Most died by violent deaths from interwar and from infection and things. | ||
| But they would also, when they would do that, they would get what they called laughing disease. | ||
| Kukuri, which is Kreuzfeld, Jacobs Kreuzfeld. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| It's like mad cow disease, essentially. | ||
| From eating brain and all that stuff. | ||
| Brain tissue, yeah. | ||
| So don't eat people, guys. | ||
| And don't let the body gel and putrefy. | ||
| At least cook. | ||
| And eat a filet. | ||
| If you're going to eat somebody, eat the chest, the ass. | ||
| In Joe Rogan's case, he's got a set of cheeks on him. | ||
| And you've got some big legs. | ||
| I was looking at your legs. | ||
| I think your legs have actually gotten bigger. | ||
| You had your pants off for a second near the campfire trying to dry your ass out. | ||
| As we were talking, Joe was literally doing squats, hanging his wet ass over the fire. | ||
| And I was like, looking at your legs, I was like, the kid's got a strong lower body. | ||
| He looks like a centaur. | ||
| Well, I told you, I did prepare for this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I worked out for two months. | ||
| Why didn't you tell me to prepare? | ||
| Because you wouldn't listen. | ||
| I would listen. | ||
| You wouldn't have done it. | ||
| I've been lifting heavy, as you can tell. | ||
| You barely work out. | ||
| Shut up. | ||
| I do not. | ||
| Look at my body. | ||
| I was doing a lot of kettlebell squats. | ||
| Taking 270s, clean them, get them here, and just... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Set to 25. Okay, I didn't do that. | ||
| That's a lot of work. | ||
| You were making that noise? | ||
| Yeah, you gotta breathe out. | ||
| I love when guys describe their body. | ||
| Bro, when I was lifting, dude, my chest was like... | ||
| And my abs were like... | ||
| Bro, my legs and ass were like... | ||
| Isn't it amazing what a calming and morale-boosting thing having a fire was for us? | ||
|
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Oh, God. | |
| God, we couldn't build a fire for the first, what, three days? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And when we finally got that fire going... | ||
| It was me and Mike. | ||
| You led the charge. | ||
| We had this idea. | ||
| I was like, we're going to make a fucking fire. | ||
| Like, we have gasoline, we have whiskey. | ||
| Tell them what the best kindling is in the world. | ||
| Fritos. | ||
| Fritos, light on fire like a motherfucker. | ||
| And hold their flame. | ||
| Hold their flame. | ||
| Like those candles that you can't blow out on a birthday cake. | ||
| While we were in camp, I watched the documentary King Corn. | ||
| I had it on my laptop. | ||
| It was one of the days where we couldn't go anywhere. | ||
| I just sat and watched this. | ||
| I was worried that my laptop was going to cook and explode because it was like in a sea of dew. | ||
| But my laptop is tough because it's been spilled on. | ||
| So many times I've spilled coffee on it, it's tough with my laptop up. | ||
| But this fucking documentary is an amazing documentary. | ||
| King Corn, if you've never seen it, if you're interested at all in what the fuck is going on with corn and how many things corn is in in our country, you gotta watch this documentary. | ||
| These guys did an amazing job. | ||
| These two guys, they got out of college, Yeah, we ingest so much of it. | ||
| You eat so much corn that your body's made out of corn. | ||
| It's like, what the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| So these guys, they rented or leased an acre of land on this guy's property in Iowa, and they grew their own corn. | ||
| And grew it from the time it went to the ground, to adding pesticides, to taking it to market. | ||
| They went through the whole thing and then explained all the different things that corn is in. | ||
| And it is fucking stunning. | ||
| It's in everything. | ||
| It's also stunning how all of it is with subsidies. | ||
| And if it wasn't for government subsidies, all these people would lose money. | ||
| These guys got a check from the government to grow their acre of corn. | ||
| It was a small check, because it was only one acre. | ||
| But if they're growing 10,000, 30,000 acres, like a lot of these folks are, they rely on these government checks. | ||
| Ethanol, which we don't really need anymore, but ethanol is used, and now there's a very strong lobbying presence in Washington that's not going to let ethanol go away. | ||
| Ethanol has a cottage industry around it. | ||
| People make money off of growing corn for fuel, and there are a thousand examples of that. | ||
| Where corn has a very strong lobby, the sugar lobby is very strong. | ||
| There's another documentary called Fed Up about when the World Health Organization came along and said only 10% of your diet should be sugar of all kinds, whether it's fruit juice or just sugar. | ||
| It's just not good for your body. | ||
| We have the science to prove it. | ||
| And the sugar industry and the corn syrup industry came along and said, well, if you want your, you know, put a lot of pressure on the Bush administration to tell them, World Health Organization, if you want your $450 million this year, you better leave that out of your report. if you want your $450 million this year, you better Because we have people believing in our school lunch programs and stuff that 25% of your diet can be simple sugars. | ||
| And, you know, I've got to watch that documentary because it's amazing how many interests, powerful interests get involved in getting you to eat corn, getting you to eat foods that, you know, in their byproducts that they make a lot of money off that may not be so good for your body. | ||
| Yeah, it's bizarre. | ||
| It's bizarre how bad it is for your body and how much of it is in foods. | ||
| Corn syrup, corn starch, corn proteins, corn this, corn that. | ||
| It's incredible, these corn additives. | ||
| And without the subsidies, it wouldn't be happening. | ||
| It's like our government is literally paying to keep our diets shitty. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Because they're in bed with this industry. | ||
| And I'm really wondering, what would happen if hemp became legal worldwide and especially legal in the United States because we sell hemp food, we sell those hemp protein bars that I brought with us on the trip, those Onnit Hemp Force protein bars and Onnit Hemp Force powder, but we have to buy our hemp from Canada and there's a bunch of different grades of it. | ||
| We buy the highest grade stuff. | ||
| It's very expensive and one of the reasons why it's very expensive is it's hard to grow and it's growing up in Canada. | ||
| Well, it's hard to grow in America. | ||
| It's impossible to grow, I should have said. | ||
| It's not subsidized either. | ||
| No, it's not subsidized. | ||
| You have to get it in Canada. | ||
| And the hearts, the hemp hearts, the best part of it is what we get. | ||
| And it's, you know, it's very high in protein. | ||
| But that could be all over this country. | ||
| And it's easy to fucking grow. | ||
| It's not susceptible to various bugs and bullshit and weeds. | ||
| It is a fucking weed. | ||
| It grows crazy easy. | ||
| And it's super healthy. | ||
| Is hemp a... | ||
| It's in the marijuana family, right? | ||
| This is what it is. | ||
| It's the male version of the plant. | ||
| The female version of the plant, yes, is where you get the THC. But they can grow acres and acres of non-psychoactive hemp. | ||
| You don't even test positive for THC if you eat hemp protein. | ||
| But if you eat poppy seed bagels, you test positive for heroin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| People that are going through drug tests... | ||
| They don't touch poppy seeds? | ||
| Well, you can't. | ||
| They tell you don't eat poppy seeds for X amount of days. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| Because if you eat it, you turn up positive for heroin. | ||
| Yeah, it's fucking crazy. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| It's really crazy. | ||
| And hemp is, it has all the essential amino acids. | ||
| It's a far better source of paper. | ||
| It's far better building material. | ||
| Have you ever seen a hemp stalk? | ||
| Have you ever picked up a hemp stalk? | ||
| No. | ||
| Hemp stalk, okay. | ||
| You can make a rope out of it, I know that. | ||
| Oh yeah, well you make the best rope. | ||
| Okay, the best rope in the world. | ||
| Parachutes, George Sr., George Herbert Walker Bush, the parachute that he used to safely parachute in World War II, that was made out of hemp. | ||
| He parachuted to safety with a fucking hemp parachute. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| There was a video called Hemp for Victory, where in World War II they were... | ||
| This is post-illegalization, by the way. | ||
| They made it illegal in the 1930s. | ||
| Well, in the 1940s, they were encouraging farmers to grow hemp for the war effort. | ||
| Like, pull up hemp... | ||
| I believe that. | ||
| Pull up the YouTube video... | ||
| Did the nylon... | ||
| Pull up the YouTube video, Hemp for Victory. | ||
| It was part of it. | ||
| DuPont was in cahoots, allegedly, with William Randolph Hearst. | ||
| But William Randolph Hearst was the main reason why hemp became illegal. | ||
| And a lot of it was because he was going to have to convert all of his paper mills to hemp paper. | ||
| Hemp paper is way better. | ||
| Like, if you pick up regular paper... | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Hemp for Victory. | ||
| Play the volume. | ||
| This was a propaganda film that they made in the 1940s to get people to start growing hemp for the war effort. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, this is fucking crazy. | ||
| When you think about it, this shit is illegal today. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Those buildings are made of hemp, you guys. | |
| Just kidding. | ||
| Hemp was already old in the service of mankind. | ||
| For thousands of years even then, this plant had been grown for cordage and coarse cloth in China and elsewhere in the east. | ||
| For centuries prior to about 1850, all the ships that sailed the western seas were rigged with hemp and rope and sails. | ||
| For the sailor no less than the hangman, hemp was indispensable. | ||
| Do you know canvas comes from the word cannabis? | ||
| Canvas cloth, like canvas sails, those were all made out of hemp. | ||
| I just love their voices. | ||
| Back then, they talked about things. | ||
| They were very formal. | ||
| That was their version of the strip club DJ. That's right. | ||
| Hemp was something, and there's always the music behind with some flute. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Those are hemp chords. | ||
| Be a good American and buy hemp. | ||
| Even people in the East, China and other places. | ||
| So what happened was, in the 1930s, they came out with this invention called a decorticator. | ||
| And the decorticator, they used it to more effectively process the hemp fiber. | ||
| Before, they used slavery. | ||
| Slavery was the only way they would do it, like smash these fibers down. | ||
| And it wasn't as effective as cotton. | ||
| And so they came up with a cotton mill when Eli Whitney came up with a cotton mill, cotton gin. | ||
| When they started doing that, like, well, cotton's way easier now. | ||
| So they started making things out of cotton. | ||
| But then they came out with a decorticate and like, oh, shit, hemp is going to be making a comeback. | ||
| And they were saying hemp is a new billion-dollar crop. | ||
| Like, pull up the cover of Popular Science magazine. | ||
| In 1930... | ||
| I want to say 35, 37. The cover of Popular Science magazine said, Hemp, the new billion dollar crop. | ||
| It was the cover of this magazine. | ||
| And then right after that, it was made illegal. | ||
| And then DuPont and those other interests came along. | ||
| Just pull up Hemp the New Billion Dollar Crop. | ||
| It was made illegal. | ||
| It's on the cover of the fucking magazine. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| 1938. There it is. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Hemp. | ||
| They were going to use hemp clothes and hemp paper and hemp this and hemp food and hemp oils. | ||
| Hemp oils are super good for your body. | ||
| And not psychoactive at all. | ||
| When you said Eli Whitney, it was the same kind of thing. | ||
| I was thinking about how one man's invention made slavery... | ||
| And essentially there was a real abolitionist movement going on where slavery was really, the anti-slavery movement was gaining tremendous ground. | ||
| Because it was really hard to justify, of course. | ||
| And then when Eli Whitney came along with the cotton gin and all those southern plantations were like, we got all this free labor. | ||
| And this is white gold. | ||
| We're selling this stuff not only to Europe, but to North Africa, everywhere. | ||
| Everybody wants American cotton. | ||
| Not so fast. | ||
| We're not getting rid of slavery here. | ||
| This makes no sense. | ||
| We got a lot of free labor. | ||
| And thank you, Eli Whitney. | ||
| I always wonder, you come up with this amazing invention, but that's going to keep a people enslaved for about another hundred years. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| It's just one of those weird things in history where you just go, fuck. | ||
| Well, it played a part, obviously. | ||
| Have you ever heard about this incredible historical story about Morse, how Morse code was invented? | ||
| No. | ||
| This is so amazing. | ||
| Morse was... | ||
| That's amazing shit. | ||
| But this is what's more amazing. | ||
| Morse was a painter, a very successful oil painter. | ||
| Very successful. | ||
| And his wife, he got a... | ||
| Before Morse code... | ||
| It's very important to remember that the only way to get a message to somebody throughout history, Alexander the Great and George Washington had to use the exact same methodology, which was horse, boat, or foot. | ||
| A messenger pigeon, but in very small areas. | ||
| What about crow? | ||
| Send a raven. | ||
| I'm afraid not a raven. | ||
| That's in Game of Thrones. | ||
| That's a lie. | ||
| That's a lie? | ||
| It's a lie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But no, no, no. | |
| They sent a raven. | ||
| I'm sorry, my friend. | ||
| That's a lie. | ||
| It's got to be a messenger. | ||
| Next thing you'll tell me the dragons aren't real. | ||
| Well, have you ever seen Here Be Dragons? | ||
| Dragons came out in a really pretty girl's pussy. | ||
| Yes, but crocodiles. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| That's what happened. | ||
| Don't give it away. | ||
| She's the mother of dragons. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| I can't wait till that comes back. | ||
| She's wonderful. | ||
| She's the mother of dragons. | ||
| Khaleesi. | ||
| Khaleesi. | ||
| What a good kid. | ||
| Khaleesi. | ||
| Hey, she's a queen, bro. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| Hey, don't. | ||
| Your voice is getting all gravelly. | ||
| That's my friend Jimmy from back home. | ||
| Jimmy Dottilio used to say that whenever a girl was really perverted. | ||
| That's so New York. | ||
| Boston. | ||
| He would go, what a good kid. | ||
| Good kid. | ||
| She's a good kid. | ||
| Jimmy Burke does that. | ||
| Jimmy Burke used to always say that. | ||
| She's a good kid. | ||
| He used to say that, too. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It's very New York. | ||
| Oh, so it's an East Coast thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Very East Coast. | ||
| So for perverts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, I don't think, you know, my friend Jimmy was all Boston. | ||
| She's a good kid. | ||
| Ulysses Hedges Grant was the one who turned Yellowstone into a national park. | ||
| Theodore Roosevelt turned Yosemite. | ||
| Okay, Yosemite. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Thank you to DJ Jackpot. | ||
| Thank you, DJ. So Morse gets a message. | ||
| Your wife is sick in Connecticut. | ||
| He was in northern New York or something. | ||
| He gets on a horse and buggy and he goes down. | ||
| And by the time he gets there, he loved his wife. | ||
| She wasn't only dead, she had been buried. | ||
| So he never got a chance to say bye to her. | ||
| He's heartbroken. | ||
| And all he does as this painter, a painter, is he obsesses over how in the world he could figure out a way to not have that. | ||
| If he had gotten the message earlier, he could have gotten there to see his wife. | ||
| Seven years later, he's on an ocean liner and he meets a dude who's a scientist who's working with electromagnetic fields. | ||
| And he basically says, do you think it would be possible to use this electromagnetic field and get it somewhere else so that we can quicken time? | ||
| Long story short, he basically gets together with this guy who is a scientist on electromagnetic fields. | ||
| They send a message, and I can't remember whether it was from New York to Washington, D.C., but I think it was. | ||
| But at first it was a short distance. | ||
| It was only like, you know... | ||
| I don't know, a quarter mile or something. | ||
| Are you looking it up right now? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Washington and Baltimore. | |
| Washington and Baltimore. | ||
| And they sent a message in as much time as it takes electricity to get there. | ||
| It was instantaneous. | ||
| And it was, of course, a bigger revolution than even the Internet, some would argue, because before that time, And throughout all of human history, the only way to get a message to somebody was by foot, boat, or horse. | ||
| And it just had never been done before. | ||
| It was a complete revolution. | ||
| And it started because the guy was heartbroken over not being able to say goodbye to his wife before she died. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That is fucking incredible. | ||
| That's why I love history. | ||
| Well, it's fascinating when you think that there was people a long time ago that if something was going on 10 miles away, there's no way of finding out. | ||
| No way! | ||
| I know. | ||
| Now, if there's a revolution going on in China right now in Hong Kong, we're watching it live in real time. | ||
| There's streaming websites, you know, there's criticism of the way China's handling it. | ||
| You get to read various different points of view. | ||
| And oppressive regimes aren't allowed to get away with murder. | ||
| They can, but they have to be very careful because they know the world's watching. | ||
| It makes the world less brutal, I would argue. | ||
| Oh, way more. | ||
| Way more accountable. | ||
| Think about what the world would have done if the Mongols were coming into the Middle East and just killing people wholesale in Russia the way they did. | ||
| Think about what the world would be doing. | ||
| We'd be like, we've got to stop these assholes on horseback right now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| But nobody was watching. | ||
| We didn't know. | ||
| That's where you've got to love something called America. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Because we're just sending some drones over there. | ||
| Oh, you got a 160-pound bow and you like to drink horse blood mixed with mare's milk? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm in Nevada! | |
| I'm in Nevada sipping coffee. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| With a fucking Xbox, drinking Mountain Dew, and a fucking kid with a hemorrhoid is lighting you bitches up from the sky. | ||
| Big thumb muscles. | ||
| Could you imagine if you could do that? | ||
| I mean if time travel becomes reality where you can't mess up the timeline like say if all timelines are completely independent say if you could go back in time and you could have like have at it and do whatever the fuck you want it would have no bearing on the future if they find out the timelines are completely independent and that if you do go back in time it has literally no effect on the current future You go back to where you were, and nothing's changed. | ||
| Even your actual actions never really took place. | ||
| They took place in an alternative timeline. | ||
| How much would you love to fucking suit up with some, like, Navy SEAL-type bulletproof armor, lock yourself down in a fucking giant tank, and go roll into the Mongol Empire? | ||
| One person, say, you know what? | ||
| I win. | ||
| I'm just taking over. | ||
| I think about that every single day. | ||
| And I'm not kidding. | ||
| I think about a helicopter gunship while these a-holes are on their horses coming in and try to kill and rape and be like, hey, guess what? | ||
| Check out this bird from the sky. | ||
| I look like a giant hornet. | ||
| Tell me if this stings. | ||
| Now, think about this. | ||
| What will people from a thousand years from now be thinking about us? | ||
| And how ridiculous would they think that we are? | ||
| Listen to what these assholes did. | ||
| They made explosions in little metal containers. | ||
| And these explosions propelled these very dense metal balls through the air at ridiculous speeds. | ||
| And they went through each other's bodies. | ||
| And that's how they did war. | ||
| They couldn't read minds. | ||
| They didn't understand its enlightenment. | ||
| And they were also humans. | ||
| They didn't have the enlightenment pills yet. | ||
| They didn't know how to have perfect genetics. | ||
| They didn't know how to engineer cancer away. | ||
| They were all fighting over resources. | ||
| They got cold. | ||
| They had electricity that was coming from, wait for it, nuclear power, these fucking idiots. | ||
| They had developed these nuclear sites where they had these generators that they could never shut off, and they kept them running, and when anything would go wrong, the power would go out, it would melt down, and they would have to clear everyone out of the area for $100,000. | ||
| Not only that, you had to be tied to a power source. | ||
| You literally had to have a long rope coming out of your head that was attached to some huge box just to hear yourself or other people. | ||
| Everything was plugged in. | ||
| Well, how about solar power in California? | ||
| Why isn't everything solar powered? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| We don't have any fucking rain. | ||
| I mean, is the one resource that we have that's... | ||
| Bountiful and plentiful is sunlight. | ||
| We have a real problem. | ||
| It's rained once in a year here. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| We have a real problem. | ||
| But we have massive, massive amounts of solar electricity that no one's tapping into. | ||
| And we got a fucking ocean that we could just desalienate. | ||
| Why haven't they figured out how to do that? | ||
| They say, well, it takes an incredible amount of power. | ||
| What about fucking solar power? | ||
| How about use solar power, figure out an efficient way of using solar power to process the salt out of the water, and we have the most green, lush landscape ever. | ||
| California could look like Seattle. | ||
| I don't know if we have the technology yet. | ||
| I think it's really hard to do that. | ||
| Work on it! | ||
| Get to work on it. | ||
| A fucking guy named Morse figured out a way to send signals back when there was no internet. | ||
| Come on, inventors! | ||
| No, would they even have cars? | ||
| No. | ||
| No cars? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, do they have phones? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| They had trains. | ||
| I think they had the internal... | ||
| No, maybe not. | ||
| Trains worked on coal. | ||
| If you had a book and you spit on the pages, all the fucking information would run down and leak. | ||
| I mean, think about it. | ||
| I know. | ||
| They were fools. | ||
| Well, books had to be hand-woven. | ||
| But the printing press was another revolution. | ||
| I mean, Gutenberg, he was a watchmaker. | ||
| And the printing press was another... | ||
| When you talk about the seminal people in history, the people that changed everything, he's in there. | ||
| When was the printing press invented? | ||
| I used to know the answer to this. | ||
| It might have been actually in the beginning of the 1800s, or maybe even earlier than that. | ||
| Earlier. | ||
| I think it was. | ||
| The actual printing press was probably invented, I believe, in 1700. Why ask? | ||
| I'm just trying to guess because I can't remember. | ||
| By the time it actually took hold, it was a while. | ||
| It was about 100 years. | ||
| It's amazing to think that back before then, people had to write out all the letters. | ||
| Yeah, I think it was 1600, 1640? | ||
| If you get like an old book. | ||
| It was earlier than 1640? | ||
| Well, Martin Luther. | ||
| Wasn't that one of the reasons why Martin Luther was able to spread his propaganda so far? | ||
| Because he was printing things and putting them on the walls of churches. | ||
| Well, he did his, I think it was Bittenberg, he did his 100 proclamations and he nailed it to the church door. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that was basically saying that the Catholic Church was a sham, or at least they didn't need all this money, and it was corrupt, and if you want the Word of God, all you need is the Bible. | ||
| You don't need all this elaborate, iconic... | ||
| Well, it was actually more than that. | ||
| He actually phonetically translated the Bible for the first time, for the common folk. | ||
| So regular people could read the Bible. | ||
| That wasn't actually Martin Luther's contribution. | ||
| Martin Luther's contribution was to say he was a Jesuit priest, I believe, who said that you can be just as holy as the Pope, as a common man, if you are religious and you follow the Bible. | ||
| You don't need this huge infrastructure and hierarchy of bishops and priests. | ||
| He did something with translating the Bible. | ||
| I know this for sure. | ||
| When was it? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| What year was it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
1450. Wow! | |
| 1450. That's incredible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it didn't really take hold. | ||
| The printing press wasn't used until 100, 200 years later. | ||
| I mean, on a wide scale. | ||
| The project, yeah, the Luther Bible, a German language Bible translation from the Hebrew and ancient Greek by Martin Luther. | ||
| Yeah, it was. | ||
| So the New Testament was first published in 1522, and the complete Bible containing the Old and New Testaments was 1534, and the project absorbed Luther's later years. | ||
| Thanks to then-recently invented printing press, the result was widely disseminated and contributed significantly to development of today's modern high German language. | ||
| And so what had happened was when Luther... | ||
| This is all from... | ||
| The reason why I know it is because of Dan Carlin's Hardcore History podcast on it. | ||
| I don't remember the exact episode. | ||
| I'll try to recall it. | ||
| But it's amazing, this episode on Martin Luther and how... | ||
| Luther had created this movement, and this movement had actually gone far and beyond his ideas and gotten completely, totally radical. | ||
| Which was what? | ||
| Which was essentially the proletariat can be just as holy as somebody with cloth and a crown. | ||
| I mean, in other words, it was kind of the democratization of Christianity, right? | ||
| I mean, all you needed was a Bible and to live the Word of God, and you could be... | ||
| Yeah, you didn't need a church in order to... | ||
| That was real heresy to say that you as a farmer, if you follow the word of God, can be even less corrupt and be in more favor with God than even the Pope. | ||
| That was pretty radical. | ||
| I think he had to leave Germany for it. | ||
| Well, I don't remember exactly specifically what the events were, but his take on it, Dan Carlin's take on it, I think, goddammit, I'm going to find it here. | ||
| But didn't his teaching spark the Hundred Years War? | ||
| I mean, the Catholics and the Protestants, those vicious wars. | ||
| Thor's Angels is the name of the podcast. | ||
| You've got to listen to it, because it is fucking absolutely, completely stunning. | ||
| He's a fucking amazing guy, man. | ||
| Dan Carlin. | ||
| His podcasts are amazing. | ||
| And his take on it is so enthralling. | ||
| He's so good at being theatrical and dragging you into and explaining it all. | ||
| But he explains all the personalities that were involved and all the conflicts that were involved. | ||
| But it was essentially the first time where the public had gotten a hold of what it really said in the Bible. | ||
| Because before you couldn't read the Bible. | ||
| It was read to you. | ||
| Yeah, it was read to you. | ||
| So they had to rely on other people. | ||
| And it was read a lot of times in Latin. | ||
| And a lot of people didn't even speak Latin. | ||
| They would just go to church and listen to the priest speak. | ||
| Well, still to this day. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You go to the church, you hear those people. | ||
| Priests also would give you, you would do things for the priest, and they would grant you, I can't remember the word for it, but you'd basically get points in favor of going to heaven. | ||
| That's what it used to look like when it was handwritten. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| How about what Steve Rinella was saying about all the buffalo? | ||
| Yeah, well that's Dan Flores. | ||
| Buffalo diplomacy and bison diplomacy. | ||
| He's that guy. | ||
| I'm going to try to get him on the podcast. | ||
| I'm getting his information from Rinella. | ||
| What he essentially is saying is that our idea is that the white man came and killed all the buffalo. | ||
| There were millions of buffalo. | ||
| And then also, there's a commonly held misconception that people gave smallpox to the Native Americans on purpose. | ||
| And that what really happened was smallpox, they didn't even know what the fuck smallpox was. | ||
| And the French had given it to the Native Americans accidentally because they had it. | ||
| It spread through the Native Americans and killed a huge amount of people. | ||
| They say 90% of the population. | ||
| 90% of the people. | ||
| So when that happened, the buffalo just grew out of control. | ||
| And what he talked about is how the early settlers, the early Europeans, they documented all these different things that they had seen. | ||
| All the deer, elk, all the different animals they see. | ||
| They didn't talk about buffalo. | ||
| They didn't document it. | ||
| But then, hundreds of years later, after the Native American population had dwindled, like, substantially, 90% of them had died off because of smallpox, the buffalo were out of fucking And he also talked about how the introduction of the horse changed the way they were hunting, because the horse even preceded a lot of European settlers because of theft. | ||
| Well, the Spanish brought the horse over, right? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| They brought the horse over during their Cortez days, and that's why Cortez had no idea. | ||
| They thought... | ||
| That's what spread influenza through the Mississippi Delta and all those different diseases that Native Americans had never been exposed to. | ||
| Because when they came back, they saw these towns that were empty. | ||
| And it was like, where are all the people? | ||
| Well, they died off. | ||
| And what Dan Floor is apparently saying, I'm going to try to get him on soon, is that the Native Americans, just with the horse and the firearm, were on their way to eradicating the buffalo. | ||
| Or extirpating. | ||
| Meaning, you know, extinction and local extinction. | ||
| Because they stopped farming, right? | ||
| They would follow the buffalo and became nomadic. | ||
| Yes, exactly. | ||
| Because they were a fucking 2,000 pound animal that just stand still. | ||
| Yeah, I mean... | ||
| Yeah, and they had guns and they were on horses so they could ride as fast as the buffalo could run. | ||
| Buffalo's delicious. | ||
| Yeah, and it's like shooting a house. | ||
| So what had happened was when the Western people came and killed millions of buffaloes and stacked them on top of each other, and the reason why there were so many buffalo in the first place is they had gotten widely out of control, or wildly out of control, because so many Native Americans had died. | ||
| Really, I mean, we're doing a really bad job of explaining this, but apparently this guy Dan Flores has some really interesting information and a deep, deep base of knowledge on this subject and all sorts of historical points of reference that he can point to that explains why these animals had died off and what was going on. | ||
| But it's amazing when you think that this country, like, you're talking about the very earliest European settlers, 1400s, 1500s. | ||
| That's nothing. | ||
| No, it's nothing. | ||
| It's a blink of an eye. | ||
| It's 500 years ago. | ||
| I also think it's very patronizing to suggest that the Native Americans weren't exactly like white people in a lot of ways in terms of just... | ||
| Of course they would hunt things to expert interpretation. | ||
| They didn't know any better. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, these human beings are going to go... | ||
| In that kind of rugged terrain, you're going to follow buffalo if it's that easy. | ||
| And if you kill them, you'll go to the next herd. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| But I also do think that the way they were living, by taking everything from this animal, utilizing every piece of the animal, utilizing the bones, utilizing the hide... | ||
| They were better stewards of the earth, for sure. | ||
| Yes, without a doubt. | ||
| And they were more engaged in the whole relationship that they had to these animals that they were killing and eating. | ||
| Well, I think our legacy, if we're not careful... | ||
| I'm talking about our legacy in 2014. If we're not careful, our legacy may very well be that we destroyed this earth or made it a lot worse. | ||
| And that's really hard to stop with the onslaught of technology and all the growth of our population and how many resources we need and the byproducts and the wastes. | ||
| But that's a huge challenge, man. | ||
| And I don't know the answer to how you stop it, but... | ||
| Yeah, it's interesting, man. | ||
| It's really crazy. | ||
| Science is the answer, though. | ||
| Science is probably the way we're going to figure out. | ||
| Not probably. | ||
| I think it's the only way out. | ||
| Taking carbon out of the atmosphere, growing food with less water and less space, all that stuff. | ||
| Oh, somebody corrected me. | ||
| The Dan Carlin episode is The Prophets of Doom. | ||
| That's the one that's on, thanks to Tesp from the... | ||
| Shout out to Tesp from the Rogan board. | ||
| That's the Dan Carlin episode. | ||
| But yeah, I'm a really big optimist. | ||
| I mean, I'm always hoping that we're going to get our shit together. | ||
| Always. | ||
| But... | ||
| Whether or not science is the answer or whether or not Ebola fixes the problem or a supervolcano. | ||
| We have to start all over again like the Sumatra volcano. | ||
| I know, but can you imagine if we had to start over? | ||
| I was thinking about that. | ||
| I was like, no! | ||
| We're getting so close to doing some cool stuff, man. | ||
| Right, but what is cool stuff for who? | ||
| It's cool stuff for you? | ||
| You're not going to be here to see it. | ||
| Cool stuff for your kids? | ||
| I mean, our role is very strange. | ||
| Our role is very strange because we're a piece of a puzzle that likes to pretend that we're the thing. | ||
| We're not. | ||
| We're a grain of sand. | ||
| Not even. | ||
| Yes, but I do think that what I think about... | ||
| is that what gives us meaning is all of us no matter most of us at least unless you're a crazy person but all of us are always working Even Dawkins and people who are sort of nihilists, people who say, well, we're a grain of sand and none of this means anything. | ||
| It's all meaningless. | ||
| If that were the case, they are still writing books to tell us how meaningless it is. | ||
| Everybody is very busy working very hard at their own expression. | ||
| And I think it's because, and we were talking about this, some people want to score social brownie points. | ||
| But for the most part, human beings work very hard to try to at least influence, for the better, The people that we love, the people we're connected to, the people that we are... | ||
| Well, we're trying to make things better for ourselves, but the reality is... | ||
| And people that we love, though. | ||
| Our sun is going to burn out. | ||
| Our planet is going to no longer be able to support life. | ||
| Everything is temporary. | ||
| It's just the timeline is enormous. | ||
| It's like, does it have meaning? | ||
| Sure, it has meaning currently, but that's what we need to concern ourselves with. | ||
| What holds meaning to you and the people that you love? | ||
| Those things are important. | ||
| But the reality of life on this planet is, first of all, the reality of human beings. | ||
| You know, we're joking around about one of my ancestors fucking a monkey. | ||
| But the reality is, we are going, if human beings stay alive, okay, if civilization continues to innovate and we continue to get to this insane progression of technology that we're currently involved in. | ||
| If that keeps growing and keeps happening, we will laugh at how goofy and ape-like we were in 2014 in our search for meaning. | ||
| Our primitive machinery, which is our original biology, is already becoming obsolete, right? | ||
| Sort of. | ||
| I mean, at the very least, it's outdated and it's clunky. | ||
| Well, Ray Kurzweil said, well, look at our bodies the way we look at a cell phone from the 80s. | ||
| As you're able to, like, mesh your body with machines and you become more efficient in everything from holding your breath for an hour underwater or red blood cells that keep you warm or whatever it might be. | ||
| Technology, tissue regeneration, nanotechnology, robotics, and biocompatible machinery like that is going to change our very biology. | ||
| Which leads to a whole new set of problems. | ||
| At a certain point in time, will we even be a person anymore? | ||
| And will we even be what we consider a carbon-based life form anymore? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Because we're inventing synthetic biology, and let's take it a step further. | ||
| As you're able to download memory, if you're able to download what goes on in our brains... | ||
| I've seen people criticize him. | ||
| I've seen people criticize his ideas saying those things won't be possible, but I think what they're missing is that we can replicate it without even totally understanding its processes. | ||
| The thing is we don't understand all the complex processes of utilizing proteins and this and that and how many steps and phases it takes to create a human being. | ||
| They could recreate what it is to be a human being without all those processes if they have a different mechanism. | ||
| So instead of a biological mechanism of cells and proteins and vitamins and nutrients and neurotransmitters and all the different things that grow into being a person, if it's silicon-based, if it's some sort of computer-based system that emulates all of the processes of being a human being... | ||
| And does it better, maybe. | ||
| Yeah, very possible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Very possible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, look at that dude, that guy that shot his wife in South Africa, the Blade Runner dude. | ||
| Pistorius. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oscar Pistorius. | ||
| That motherfucker with those stupid blades was running way faster, probably, than he could have without them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Well, and the other thing is that we learn more about the brain. | ||
| Like, it really throws into question, like, you people talk about having out-of-body experiences. | ||
| Well, what they found is they can manipulate, they can touch parts of the brain. | ||
| they feel like they're watching everything from their body, which is fascinating to me because that was always sort of the idea. | ||
| I'm looking down as I was dying. | ||
| I could see myself and all that. | ||
| Well, it may be that there's a chemical thing going on in the brain where you can actually manipulate that and replicate that process. | ||
| Well, not even maybe. | ||
| Well, here's the other thing. | ||
| We know about dreams. | ||
| Dreams are a very real thing. | ||
| Everyone, I think everyone, most people dream. | ||
| So what is a dream? | ||
| A dream is an illusion. | ||
| It's not really happening. | ||
| You're imagining something really intricate and detailed. | ||
| I had some fucking crazy dreams when we were sleeping in tents in Alaska. | ||
| Really bizarre dreams. | ||
| When you're talking about near-death experiences, the people are unconscious when they're having these. | ||
| Like, oh, there's so much deep meaning to it. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Well, I was on a skateboard. | ||
| I was getting chased by Godzilla in a dream. | ||
| Is there deep meaning in that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because both of them are illusions. | ||
| You weren't really flying above your body, okay? | ||
| And I wasn't really getting chased by Godzilla. | ||
| They both probably seemed equally real. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| And the idea of a dream in and of itself is a very fucking strange thing. | ||
| You shut your brain off every night, you close your eyes, and your mind starts a process that we don't totally understand. | ||
| We know there's a bunch of things happening, like REM sleep, rapid eye movement. | ||
| We know now that there's neurotransmitters that are moving in and out of the brain and Fucking around with your consciousness while you're out, and we know what processes are shutting down and turning off, but we all totally understand what dreaming is. | ||
| We don't understand it. | ||
| We really don't understand why we even need it. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| So when someone talks about having a near-death experience, like, yeah, maybe you're fucking dreaming. | ||
| Like, I don't know. | ||
| I don't know what happened. | ||
| You don't either. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It changed me so much. | ||
| I flew above my body. | ||
| But I think eventually we'll figure it out, that's for sure. | ||
| At least be able to replicate dreams or have, you know, Perhaps. | ||
| Maybe we'll transcend before we figure it out. | ||
| I mean, we might abandon the body before we even totally understand its processes. | ||
| It really throws into turmoil the people who have strict orthodox religious beliefs, too. | ||
| They're already fucked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, I was watching this video before you got here with Richard Dawkins arguing with his Islamic people, and this guy was talking about how moral Islam is and how it's important and ethics and this and that, and Dawkins just kept hammering this dude. | ||
| He said, what is the price that you must pay if you abandon Islam? | ||
| And the guy didn't want to answer it, the guy didn't want to answer it, and then he went back to it. | ||
| What is it, apostrophe? | ||
| Apostate, apostate. | ||
| But what's the actual expression of leaving? | ||
| You don't say, I committed apostate. | ||
| If you leave, you're an apostate. | ||
| Apostrophe? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| You're an apostate if you leave. | ||
| Right, but what is it like perjury? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| If you perjure yourself, it's called perjury, whatever. | ||
| Apostrophe, I think it's called. | ||
| But anyway, the guy wouldn't answer it. | ||
| He didn't want to answer it. | ||
| He was trying to skirt around it. | ||
| And Dawkins kept hammering him. | ||
| Finally, he goes, it's the death penalty. | ||
| He goes, well, there you go. | ||
| You leave Islam and you have to be killed. | ||
| That's in your religion. | ||
| Do you understand that that's fucking crazy? | ||
| Like that's the death penalty. | ||
| And the guy was just like stammering. | ||
| He was just stuck there. | ||
| Because that is the reality. | ||
| Not only that, in Islamic countries, some insane number, like in the 90 percentile, believe that you should be stoned to death for adultery. | ||
| Well, but I have to, just having lived there for a long time, I do have to come to the defense of the fact that That those, just like with the book of Deuteronomy and Judaism, which says exactly the same thing, by the way, most Muslims... | ||
| It says if you leave Christianity, you get killed? | ||
| No, in the book of Deuteronomy, I mean, a lot of those laws come from the Old Testament. | ||
| Remember, the Koran was very heavily influenced by the Old Testament. | ||
| The Koran, in many ways, is a rebuttal to the New Testament, saying that Jesus Christ is not God. | ||
| But most of the Ten Commandments and things are held as... | ||
| But those things come from the old Jewish law. | ||
| Where does it ever say that if you leave Christianity, you're supposed to be killed? | ||
| It doesn't. | ||
| I'm just saying that Islam got that from Judaism. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| But the point I was making is that most Muslims, I would... | ||
| Guarantee, I promise you, don't believe that adultery, that you should stone a woman to death. | ||
| Most Muslims aren't even that religious. | ||
| And there's this misconception, and also Islam is very, very, the religion, if you look at the difference between Indonesian Muslims, for example, and Wahhabi Muslims who are in Saudi Arabia, it's vastly different because of the way they interpret the Quran. | ||
| The Quran can be interpreted, it's the most easily and widely interpreted religion as well. | ||
| It's very, very open for interpretation. | ||
| So, and that's what Islamic scholars will always tell you. | ||
| And most Muslims don't hold that point of view. | ||
| Right, but isn't that like saying that most Christians believe in evolution? | ||
| I mean, it's like, what is the religion based on if you start deviating from it and adding in a bunch of your own thoughts and then just sort of ignoring the old stuff, like Old Testament stuff. | ||
| People do that with religion, all the stuff, though. | ||
| They do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But does that matter? | ||
| Because a bunch of people still do that, I mean, isn't the heart of it still ridiculous? | ||
| I think that Dawkins, though, might be harping on an... | ||
| On one aspect of Islam, when you can also look at the other. | ||
| He was talking in broad terms, but he wanted to pick one very important point. | ||
| Like when people were talking about it being a religion of peace, he was saying, really? | ||
| Well, how come if you leave, you're supposed to be killed? | ||
| That's not peaceful. | ||
| And that's a very good point, a very good question, and an important question to ask. | ||
| I also think that there is also value in Islam to a lot of Muslims because it is a blueprint for how to live their lives and it works for them. | ||
| For example, be charitable to people. | ||
| Charity is a very big part of Islam. | ||
| You know, there are a lot of examples of that. | ||
| Modesty, charity, and things like that. | ||
| It's when people interpret these things literally, i.e. | ||
| fundamentally, or if they take it as symbology, as suggestions of how to live your life. | ||
| Just like you could be a Christian fundamentalist, and you're going to be a very different person than if you are a regular Christian who takes this symbolism. | ||
| Jamie, pull up, just Google not radical Islam, and then pull up a video. | ||
| Pull up videos from Not Radical Islam on Google. | ||
| And it's the very first video. | ||
| It's called, It's Not the Radical. | ||
| It's Islam. | ||
| I don't know what the word is. | ||
| S-H-A-Y-K-H? What's that word? | ||
| I don't know how you say it, but anyway, this guy is being interviewed, this guy is communicating with this group of people and they're all these other Islamics or other Muslims and he's talking about how people are confused about what radical Islam is and what's just actual Islam and what the law is and what you're supposed to do. | ||
| Watch this video. | ||
|
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How they always attack the Muslims or Islam in particular. | |
| For some certain things, for example, about gays. | ||
| Put your headphones on. | ||
|
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They always attack us and the teachings towards this matter, for example. | |
| While in Christianity, in Judaism, it's the same punishment that exists. | ||
| It's haram. | ||
| So while they're always, for example, focusing on Islam and not Judaism or Christianity, while, for example, also in Jerusalem, For those who've been to Jerusalem, in the bosses in Jerusalem, for example, women sit separate than men, for example. | ||
| So why, like five minutes ago or early, we were asked about why Muslims have to be sitting separate, you know, men and women, but they never ask these questions to Jews or Christians, why specifically Muslims or Islam? | ||
| Didn't we answer this question yesterday? | ||
| And you said that you need to ask the media. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, it's true. | ||
| But he needs an answer. | ||
| He was not here. | ||
| But the other people were here. | ||
| The other people will suffer because of you. | ||
| The answer is very simple. | ||
| Islam is the truth. | ||
| And Christianity and Judaism are not the truth. | ||
| So that's a comment regarding this topic. | ||
| May I, Sheikh? | ||
| You are the big boss. | ||
| Yep, but you are the Sheikh. | ||
| You are the big boss. | ||
| You are the doctor. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Masha'Allah. | ||
| Can we have the camera? | ||
| Can we have this camera focusing on all the audience, sir? | ||
| Can we have this camera focusing on all the audience? | ||
| Because every now and then, every time we have a conference, every time we invite a speaker, they always come with the same accusations. | ||
| This speaker supports death penalty for homosexuals, this speaker supports death penalty for this crime or this crime or that he is homophobic, they subjugate women, etc, etc, etc. | ||
| It's the same old stuff coming all the time. | ||
| And we always try to tell them, I always try to tell them that, look, it's not that speaker that we're inviting who has these extreme radical views, as you say. | ||
| These are general views that every Muslim actually has. | ||
| Every Muslim believes in these things. | ||
| Just because they're not telling you about it or just because they're not out there in the media doesn't mean they don't believe in them. | ||
| So I will ask you, Everyone in the room. | ||
| How many of you are normal Muslims? | ||
| You're not extremists. | ||
| You're not radical. | ||
| Just normal Sunni Muslims. | ||
| Please raise your hands. | ||
| Everybody, MashaAllah. | ||
| SubhanAllah. | ||
| Okay, take down your hands again. | ||
| How many of you agree that men and women should sit separate? | ||
| Please raise your hands. | ||
| All of them raised their hands. | ||
| Yeah, but... | ||
| Hold on. | ||
|
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Everyone agree. | |
| Everyone agree. | ||
| Brothers and sisters. | ||
| SubhanAllah. | ||
| So it's not just these radical sheikhs then. | ||
| Allahu Akbar. | ||
| Next question. | ||
| How many of you agree that the punishments described in the Quran and the Sunnah Whether it is death, whether it is stoning for adultery, whatever it is, if it is from Allah and His Messenger, that is the best punishment ever possible for humankind. | ||
| And that is what we should apply in the world. | ||
| Who agrees with that? | ||
| And they all raise their hand. | ||
|
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Allahu Akbar! | |
| Are you all the radical extremists? | ||
| SubhanAllah! | ||
| So, all of you are saying that you are common Muslims, you all go to the different massages, no way. | ||
| Or is it, are you like a specific sect, like the Islam sect or anything like that? | ||
| Are you like that? | ||
| No. | ||
| Are you like that? | ||
| Please raise your hand if you like this extreme Islam sect or anything like that. | ||
| No one. | ||
| Allahu Akbar! | ||
| How many of you just go to this normal masajids in the normal Sunni mosque? | ||
| Please raise your hands. | ||
| All of them raise their hands. | ||
|
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Allahu Akbar! | |
| God is great. | ||
| That's what he's saying. | ||
|
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What's the politicians gonna say now? | |
| What is the media gonna say now? | ||
| That we're all extremists? | ||
| We're all radicals? | ||
| We need to deport all of us from this country? | ||
| Subhanallah! | ||
|
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Allahu Akbar! | |
| Takbir! | ||
| May we have the next question please? | ||
| Isn't that fascinating? | ||
| Well, I don't like those kind of videos, to be honest with you, because I happen to think that if you took a cross-section of people from all over the Muslim world, you'd find very different points of view. | ||
| You'd find people who were way more liberal than that guy. | ||
| And I think it's because people are living their lives. | ||
| They don't even have time to go to mosque, just like you see with Christians, just like you see with Jews. | ||
| There's a great deal of debate. | ||
| I think the problem with the Muslim world today is most moderate Muslims, and that's most, are just Okay, but what does that mean, though? | ||
| What he's saying on stage, when he's asking, are you regular Muslims? | ||
| And if you are regular Muslims, raise your hand. | ||
| They raise their hand. | ||
| If you believe that the message that's in the Quran is the correct way to handle any situation, raise your hand. | ||
| If you believe that it's the way to handle adultery, raise your hand. | ||
| And they're all raising their hand. | ||
| Those are real people. | ||
| They're not real people. | ||
| I don't know who those people are. | ||
| I don't know where that is. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| I don't know who those people are. | ||
| I don't know where that is. | ||
| I don't know what the context is. | ||
| I mean, I don't think that's a good example of a room full of people. | ||
| How can you say they're not real people? | ||
| Because a room full of people like that in that clip is not necessarily a good representation of most Muslims. | ||
| It just isn't. | ||
| You know, I think there are problems with Islam like any other religion. | ||
| I think there are problems with certain populations of Muslims who have been isolated. | ||
| There might be a lot of ignorance in certain parts of the world, like the Middle East, where there isn't a lot of money or exposure to other ideas. | ||
| Yes, but I think that that is very anti-Islamic and very slanted in its own way. | ||
| Wait a minute, what is? | ||
| Just taking a, I'm not saying you are, I'm saying if you took that and you look at one video and decide that's how Muslims think in general, I think it's a mistake. | ||
| Well, first of all, this video is a pro-Islam site that put this video up. | ||
| This video was put up by Islam.net video. | ||
| Islam.net. | ||
| And what they're trying to tell you is that these ideas that people are calling radical Islam are not radical. | ||
| They are just Islamic ideas. | ||
| This is not like a propaganda video. | ||
| I've read the Quran. | ||
| They are. | ||
| But what I'm saying is this is not a propaganda video. | ||
| This is a pro-Islamic website that's putting these videos out. | ||
| I understand. | ||
| All I'm saying is that that to me, that video to me, leaves non-Muslims with the impression that all Muslims are extreme. | ||
| And what I'm saying is I don't believe that they are. | ||
| I mean, this country, a Christian country for all intents and purposes, puts a great number of people to death, and we have a lot of people on death row. | ||
| For crimes, especially for murder, right? | ||
| Wait a minute, but this state is a secular thing. | ||
| It's not done because of religion. | ||
| When you put people in jail or kill them because of murder, you're not doing it because it's in the Bible. | ||
| But our justice system is very much based on the notion that everybody's of the same moral worth, which is a Christian idea. | ||
| Yeah, but because it's a Christian idea, it's not based on the Christian faith, meaning you have to be a Christian to ascribe to it. | ||
| These ideas are very different. | ||
| No one's saying that God says that we should kill people for adultery, so we have to kill people for adultery in this country. | ||
| We're talking about crimes against other human beings. | ||
| That's the reason why people are killed in this country. | ||
| I mean, when you're killing someone in Texas for murder, you're not doing it because it's a crime against God. | ||
| What you're seeing in that video is a religion. | ||
| You're seeing a representation of a religion. | ||
| Are there more moderate representations of that religion? | ||
| Unquestionably, there certainly are. | ||
| But, at what point in time, what is the religion then? | ||
| I mean, if it becomes more moderate, if you don't ascribe to certain things that are in this ancient text that tell you there's very clear laws and rules that you're supposed to abide by. | ||
| That's the question. | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| What is the religion then? | ||
| What is a religion at all? | ||
| If you just decide, well, we're going to morph it because it's 2014 and we think that the new evidence shows that homosexuals are actually born and it's not their fault. | ||
| It's just a part of genetics and it's part of life itself. | ||
| It's like having red hair or a big nose. | ||
| Some people are gay and some people are straight. | ||
| I think you could identify as a Christian, as a Muslim, as a Jew, and not hold all the tenets of that particular religion. | ||
| But why then? | ||
| Are you just a human that just accepts, you pull and choose and pluck? | ||
| Yeah, people do it all the time. | ||
| Right, but what is that then? | ||
| How are you a Christian? | ||
| You're not subscribing to the full ideology. | ||
| You're not a fundamentalist. | ||
| Yeah, but what are you then? | ||
| You're a believer who believes not in the letter of the law, but rather in the symbol, in the suggestion and the idea that we can reach to be as good as we can be, and that some laws that were written 1,400 years ago in this case, or whatever, I think that's how long it was, are outdated because science, etc., is starting to show us that a lot of those laws do not hold relevance in our everyday lives, and in fact are probably unethical or immoral. | ||
| But isn't that completely fascinating when you look at all these different countries that do believe that if you leave Islam, you're a dead person. | ||
| You should be killed. | ||
| If you commit adultery, you're a dead person. | ||
| You should be killed. | ||
| I mean, there's a bunch of different things. | ||
| If you're homosexual, you should be killed with rocks. | ||
| Very important questions to ask and very important for the Muslim world to debate. | ||
| And they're going through that debate right now, just like Judaism and Christianity went through that debate. | ||
| I mean, how many people were burned at stake in the name of witchcraft in Salem and all over Europe, for that matter, because they were not, what? | ||
| Good Christians. | ||
| So I think this is a product of a religion. | ||
| I think, actually, that these debates and the questions you're asking, which are also being asked in the Muslim world, are crucial because it's how a religion... | ||
| You know, it's the process a religion must go through and contend with. | ||
| It's gotta. | ||
| Favor or oppose making Sharia the law of the land. | ||
| This is the percentage of Muslims who favor making Islamic law the official law in their country. | ||
| Ready for this? | ||
| Afghanistan, 99%. | ||
| Pakistan, 84%. | ||
| Bangladesh, 82%. | ||
| Iraq, 91%. | ||
| Palestine, 89%. | ||
| Morocco, 83%. | ||
| I mean, these are crazy numbers. | ||
| Niger in sub-Saharan Africa, 86%. | ||
| A lot of those countries, I would imagine, are also very poor, and I don't know how they're polling, but I think a lot of those countries, when you've got nothing, you turn to religion. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| And the way you solve that problem is with commerce. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| It is a scary thought, though, that we're in this part of the world, there's a giant chunk of human beings that have these ideals. | ||
| I mean, these are ideas that are incredibly common in giant chunks of the world, millions of people. | ||
| And when you're talking about what a religion is, and there's so many moderates, well, what is this religion, then? | ||
| I mean, if there are moderates who don't believe that you should be stoned to death, who don't believe that you should be killed if you leave, who don't believe that you should be killed It should be killed with rocks if you're an adulterer. | ||
| What is that religion then? | ||
| At what point in time does it sort of dwindle off? | ||
| Does it go away? | ||
|
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Does it get replaced? | |
| Well, Iraq is a good example. | ||
| That statistic is very surprising to me, and I'm not sure I believe it, because Iraq was, remember, it was basically under Saddam Hussein. | ||
| You weren't really allowed to even bring a Koran to school or to a public place. | ||
| The Shi'a are a little bit more... | ||
| Religious in some ways than the Sunni, although that's a big... | ||
| Actually, with ISIS, they believe in Wahhab and Wahhabism and stuff, but... | ||
| I think that, you know, Iraq, from what I understand, was essentially, they were Ba'athists, which was, the idea was that you were secular, that all Arabs should band together and there should be sort of this belt of Arab unity, which was what Nasser was trying to do in Egypt, etc., etc., unify the Arabs under one sort of, but Saddam Hussein was very sort of, until later on, was very anti- Islam, in a lot of ways. | ||
| Yeah, well, that was a secular nation. | ||
| It was a secular nation before we invaded it, and now it's a civil war between two varying sects of Islam. | ||
| It's just, to me, I think that ideologies are very dangerous, and rigid ideologies that are thousands of years old are the most dangerous. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Speaking of Seventh Heaven. | ||
| There's a show that Brian used to be on. | ||
| A religious show, right? | ||
| I mean... | ||
| I have to pee because I want to talk about this. | ||
|
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Yeah, please. | |
| This is very important. | ||
|
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Go ahead. | |
| Go do your little squirt and we'll talk about this. | ||
| Because this is fucking really spooky stuff. | ||
| There was a show called Seventh Heaven. | ||
| And Brian was on it. | ||
| I don't remember the exact nature of the show, but it had something to do with religion. | ||
| So anyway, this guy, whose name is Stephen Collins, he played a pastor on this show, Seventh Heaven. | ||
| He confessed to his estranged wife that he was a child molester. | ||
| And it's all on tape, apparently. | ||
| She recorded... | ||
| They were having meetings with a counselor. | ||
| And she recorded him talking to this therapist... | ||
| And she was asking him all these questions about these incidents and he was very specific about the answers and she taped the therapy session. | ||
| And apparently it's legal to secretly record a conversation because In California, you're allowed to secretly record conversations to gather evidence that the other person committed a violent felony. | ||
| And molesting a child under the age of 14 is considered a violent felony. | ||
| This is amazing stuff. | ||
| He confessed to molesting an 11-year-old girl, a relative of his first wife. | ||
| That's so sick, man. | ||
| I mean, he was talking in great detail about these things. | ||
| He did it a few times to this one girl when she was 11, 12, or 13. And this guy, I mean, he was playing a pastor. | ||
| It's really sick stuff. | ||
| Well, what's crazy is that I have on my acting reel, there's a scene with him and I doing this scene. | ||
| It's one of the best scenes I ever did. | ||
| And it's really weird because I knew him really well. | ||
| I know him very well. | ||
| And... | ||
| Usually when you read about this, you go, well, that guy should be put in jail right away and all that stuff. | ||
| And it's an interesting thing because I've been thinking about it. | ||
| I feel like, and I want to be careful how I say this because I know him well, I feel like this is a guy who's a good guy with a sickness, like a compulsion and a sickness. | ||
| So when you say good guy, I think that... | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I find myself shaking my head and scratching my head, but I know Stephen well, and I think it's possible. | ||
| Is it possible that you mean good to everybody, your fellow man, yet you have a compulsion and a sickness that you don't know what to do about? | ||
| And this article that I was reading to you about when we were on the plane and there was an article in the New York Times written about pedophilia and how a lot of pedophiles have these urges. | ||
| They don't act on them. | ||
| They live in fear. | ||
| They have no control sometimes. | ||
| And this woman was saying, if those people, because all of us want to punish somebody like that, right? | ||
| The minute we see that, I have a daughter, you have a daughter. | ||
| It's like, I don't want that guy on the street. | ||
| I don't want that guy near kids. | ||
| We understand that. | ||
| And we all go, we've got to get that guy in jail. | ||
| But there's a bigger question to say, and that is this. | ||
| If you have these feelings, you're a pedophile, and you have these feelings. | ||
| You just have these urges. | ||
| Shouldn't there be somewhere for these people to go where they can say, I'm having these feelings, I need help because I feel like I'm going to touch a child? | ||
| That seems to be creating a place for those people to go and somehow seek help I feel is more important than if they don't have anywhere to go for help and they know if they go anywhere, they're going to lose their job, they're going to lose their life and everything else. | ||
| They're not going to go anywhere and they're going to touch a kid. | ||
| So the end result here is we've got to figure out a way so less kids get molested, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| It raises a very difficult debate and question, which is, if this is indeed a sickness, and there's a lot of evidence that maybe it is even neurological, like there's an overwhelming number of pedophiles that are left-handed, an overwhelming number of pedophiles that have trouble with spatial relationships. | ||
| Yeah, this was in the New York Times article that you were reading on the plane yesterday, which is so fascinating, this came out today. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then here's this friend of mine who I really, really like. | ||
| I mean, he's just funny and does a lot of work for charity. | ||
| He's got kids of his own. | ||
| Well, apparently it wasn't just one instance. | ||
| No. | ||
| The LAPD is reopening an investigation from 2012 where his niece of a neighbor was accusing him. | ||
| I guess he admitted it to his wife and then he went to counseling to get help. | ||
| Well, I talked about it while you went in the bathroom. | ||
| And it was all recorded by his wife and the recording is legal because he was doing a violent crime. | ||
| It's awful, man. | ||
| It's really awful. | ||
| Man, I don't know. | ||
| I'm just... | ||
| I'm shaking my head. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But I do think that it's a very important debate to have. | ||
| If it's considered... | ||
| If it's a mental... | ||
| A form of... | ||
| A mental illness. | ||
| Should they have somewhere to go to say, hey, I have these urges, I don't want to touch a kid, please help me. | ||
| Should there be a safe haven for pedophiles to get help so that they don't touch children, or at least it lowers the chances that they will touch children? | ||
| That's the difficult question to ask. | ||
| Yeah, it's some scary shit, you know, to think that you could be a person that is, in all other ways, a normal person, but like a crackhead around crack that's compelled. | ||
| Like, you have an alcoholic and you set a glass of whiskey in front of them and you pour a glass of whiskey. | ||
| I mean, they're drawn to that whiskey. | ||
| It's like a sickness. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But that whiskey's not hurting anybody other than themselves. | ||
| When you see someone who's a pedophile and they're drawn to children, we tend to lose all of our sympathy and all of our understanding. | ||
| And it's because we want to protect our people. | ||
| We want to protect our family. | ||
| Children. | ||
| But could you imagine, I mean, I'm not being sympathetic towards child molesters. | ||
| I mean, believe me, I am the least sympathetic. | ||
| I have a very primal urge to break his fucking head open with a rock. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But imagine being this poor fuck. | ||
| I mean, what is it about him that makes him want to go to this 11-year-old girl and put her hand on his dick? | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| I was on that show for two years. | ||
| I worked with him all the time. | ||
| What was the premise of the show? | ||
| It was about an all-American family. | ||
| Basically, the premise was, this is the perfect family. | ||
| And they're an example for everybody. | ||
| He was the minister and the father, and he had a wife and children. | ||
| I remember my first scene I played this alcoholic who comes back in this kid Peter's life and he counsels me. | ||
| I'm a real a-hole and he counsels me. | ||
| I really got to know him because we had so many scenes together and spent a lot of time. | ||
| I did a reading for him. | ||
| I've talked to him on the phone about SAG and all kinds of stuff. | ||
| It's just fucking... | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| So this is confirmed. | ||
| Fuck, I never would have thought that, dude. | ||
| Like, you know what I mean? | ||
| That's the other thing. | ||
| Like, some people you go, there's no way. | ||
| Well, of course, that's a good person. | ||
| I'd leave my kid with that. | ||
| You know, anyway, you just don't know. | ||
| You don't know, man. | ||
| You don't know what goes on in the inner recesses of someone's brain. | ||
| But I do think this is a case. | ||
| If there's ever been one, I don't know anything. | ||
| I'm not an expert, but... | ||
| Of a good person with a sickness. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Of a guy... | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm just... | ||
| I don't even know what to say about it. | ||
| It's dark. | ||
| It's dark shit. | ||
| Dark, scary, awful stuff. | ||
| And then I started thinking about other things that are really hard to even talk about, like... | ||
| Like, there's molestation of a child. | ||
| We already know what it does to most people, the revulsion and what you want to do. | ||
| And then there are different levels of molestation that nobody really talks about. | ||
| Touching and then actual sex. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right? | ||
| And one, I would imagine, and I have to believe, is way more traumatic than the other. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know how the law sees it, but... | ||
| You know, the guy's life is done. | ||
| I think sex is sex. | ||
| I mean, I think the law sees it like if you're involving genitals and touching. | ||
| I mean, it's one thing. | ||
| There's sexual misconduct, though, and then there's assault, right? | ||
| So one is penetration, I think. | ||
| Well, they're calling this violent sex, and that's the reason why she was allowed, or he rather, the woman rather, his wife. | ||
| I was right the first time. | ||
| She was allowed to record him in these counseling sessions. | ||
| It's because it's violent sex. | ||
| But what is violence? | ||
| It's violent crime, not violent sex, but it falls under the umbrella of violent crime. | ||
| But what is violence? | ||
| I thought violence is like trauma. | ||
| I thought violence is like aggression. | ||
| If someone takes your hand and gently puts it on their dick, it's awful, right? | ||
| Obviously evil. | ||
| But is that violent? | ||
| Because if he's dating a woman and he takes her hand and puts it on his dick, that's not violent, right? | ||
| Or is it... | ||
| Thought to be violent if she didn't want him to do that. | ||
| I mean, if she resists? | ||
| Let's say he's with a woman. | ||
| They go back to his place, they're having a glass of wine, they're just talking, and he takes her hand and he puts it on his dick. | ||
| And she resists And then he lets go. | ||
| Is that violent? | ||
| Or what if he takes her hand and he puts it on his dick and she struggles the whole way? | ||
| That's violent. | ||
| But if she doesn't resist at all and she just goes... | ||
| He was being inappropriate or assuming... | ||
| Yeah, what's violent? | ||
| I mean, the word violent's a weird word. | ||
| I mean, I guess we're kind of... | ||
| Having a conversation about semantics? | ||
| No, you're not. | ||
| No? | ||
| No. | ||
| But why violence? | ||
| Because, first of all, I think there is a difference between anal rape and vaginal rape and being touched. | ||
| When I was a kid in camp, I was 11, I was, I guess, technically molested by my camp counselor, who was a man in his 40s, and he was touching me and fondling me. | ||
| I woke up and he had his hand in my pants, and he was playing with my piece. | ||
|
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|
You gack. | |
| My gack. | ||
| And I remember going, I remember being 11 going, this is weird, man. | ||
| He's got a beard and he smells weird and he's touching my wiener. | ||
| I don't think this makes sense. | ||
| So then I tell my friend John and Donnie, I go, hey, did he touch you down there? | ||
| And my friend Donnie goes, yeah, he sucked me down there. | ||
|
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Ugh! | |
| Yeah, and then my buddy John goes, he touched me too! | ||
| So I go, I'm going to tell my mom. | ||
| And I marched, my mother was coming for parent weekend. | ||
| I was away at camp. | ||
| My mother came and I went right up to her and I go, hey, that guy touched my dick, he sucked Donnie's dick, and he touched John's dick. | ||
| And my mother went right to the camp. | ||
| And the guy back then, this was probably, I don't know, what was it, 1978 or whatever? | ||
| He got fired and just sent on his way. | ||
| There was no criminal thing. | ||
| Yeah, that was it. | ||
| Sent on his way. | ||
| And when they told his wife, he was married when they told his wife, his wife laughed and said, oh God, he's up to that again. | ||
| Yes, and my mother told me that. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| His wife laughed? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And said he's up to that again. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| She was the arts and crafts counselor. | ||
| She had short hair. | ||
|
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|
Whoa. | |
| Anyway. | ||
| But isn't it strange how much our attitudes about those types of things have changed really, really radically? | ||
| Well, I think because people are more open to talk about it and talk about the damage it did when they were kids. | ||
| And I think... | ||
| The point I'm raising is that it all depends on the circumstances, the level of molestation, and what kind... | ||
| I don't think that damaged me, but I can't speak for this girl. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at me. | |
| You're a mess. | ||
| Who am I talking about? | ||
| You're a mess. | ||
| I'm a stand-up comedy. | ||
| I'm a stand-up comic. | ||
| A beard and a hand on your dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's it. | |
| That's it. | ||
| But you do have to have that conversation about levels of degree because if you don't, then it's not fair to people who are really raped. | ||
| And, you know, I mean, who are vaginally and anally and all that other stuff. | ||
| There's a difference. | ||
| Well, that's why this whole yes means yes law, which was recently passed in California, is kind of offensive to people that have actually been raped. | ||
| If you don't know this law, the idea being that a lack of resistance does not equal consent. | ||
| And you must get consent. | ||
| Thanks for taking all the romance out of sex, by the way. | ||
| Fucking a-holes. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| But I guess... | ||
| I kind of see why they're doing it. | ||
| I kind of see that they don't want someone to feel like they were overwhelmed by someone and they didn't know what to do and they couldn't say anything. | ||
| And so they think that by forcing people to say, yes, I want to have sex with you, that this would... | ||
| But there's also feminists want to be able to withdraw consent after the fact if they feel like they were tricked. | ||
| So they want to be able to cry rape if you manipulated and lied to them. | ||
| Like I said, I love you, make love to me, and they have sex. | ||
| Ah! | ||
| I don't love you, you fucking dummy. | ||
| Are you fucking kidding me? | ||
| No, I'm not. | ||
| No, that's a real tenant of some forms of radical feminism. | ||
| They want to be able to withdraw consent after the fact. | ||
| Well, those lunatics can say what they want, but this is why I think that's lunacy and why I think it's so insulting. | ||
| If you're gang raped, you're held down by a stranger. | ||
| There's an app now. | ||
| There's a couple apps for the iPhone. | ||
| There's one called Good to Go. | ||
| What is this one? | ||
| Is that Good to Go? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't even know. | ||
| Does it work on fingerprints or something like that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What does it work on? | |
| Yeah, you use your fingerprints. | ||
| Yeah, some of them work on fingerprints, and you have an app, and I have an app, and you click yes, and I click yes, and what are we doing? | ||
| Well, that's fucking lunacy, in my opinion, and I think it's a real insult to people who've been held down and raped by strangers or somebody they know in a violent manner. | ||
| I do think that there are times when somebody can be... | ||
| You know, a woman is so overwhelmed she doesn't know what to say and she gets raped. | ||
| I'm not a woman. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck goes on, okay? | ||
| And it's 100% I understand that. | ||
| There's date rape and all that stuff. | ||
| Well, there's also times where you really wish you said no and you don't like when it's happening and you don't know what to do and you just sit there and a guy has sex with you. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But I don't know what that is. | ||
| Is that sexual assault? | ||
| How is the man supposed to know if you don't say anything? | ||
| There's that. | ||
| And if you do say something and the man continues, well, that's rape, right? | ||
| If you say, please stop, don't take my pants off, don't have sex with me, and the guy does it anyway, we'll both agree that's rape. | ||
| But then there's a problem where they're trying to say that if you're consuming alcohol. | ||
| I had Thaddeus Russell on the podcast, okay? | ||
| He's a professor at Occidental College or University? | ||
| We never figured it out. | ||
| It's a college. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| He was a professor at this college where These two kids, they were both freshmen. | ||
| They were both young. | ||
| They got drunk. | ||
| They had sex. | ||
| And the girl decided that it was rape because she was drunk when they had sex. | ||
| Meanwhile, on her text messages, she's sending a text message to her friend. | ||
| She sent a text message to him. | ||
| He's saying, come over here. | ||
| She says, do you have a condom? | ||
| He says, yes. | ||
| She texts her friend, I'm about to go have sex. | ||
| She went over to his house, she had sex with him, and then afterwards the college decided that this was rape because she was intoxicated. | ||
| But he was intoxicated too. | ||
| They're both intoxicated, they're communicating back and forth with each other, but somehow or another he's responsible for his actions, he was expelled from college, she wasn't. | ||
| It sounds like people who hate men. | ||
| It's feminism. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a big part of what some feminism is. | ||
| Not all feminism. | ||
| A lot of feminism is just striving for equality. | ||
| Yeah, I'm a feminist in that sense. | ||
| Yes, in that sense. | ||
| But the real problem is, one of the women at Occidental College that Thaddeus Russell referenced, who counseled this girl, said that he fits the profile, ready for this? | ||
| For being a rapist, because he came from a good family, because he's a valedictorian, and because he's on a sports team. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's terrifying. | ||
| Be an underachiever, I guess, and then you won't be a rapist. | ||
| But how terrifying is that? | ||
| That he's privileged, because he comes from a good family, that he's on a sports team, so he embraces the jock culture of sexual assault. | ||
| Which jocks don't, but whatever. | ||
| Well, whatever. | ||
| And that he's a valedictorian, so because he's successful, he's got this drive to succeed, which could lead him to being a rapist. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| What? | ||
| The fuck? | ||
| And he got expelled? | ||
| He got expelled. | ||
| Well, he's suing and there's a big lawsuit. | ||
| But look, his life has changed. | ||
| Her life has changed. | ||
| Both their lives have changed. | ||
| And it's what happened. | ||
| They got drunk and they fucked, man. | ||
| And Thaddeus Russell had a really good point that I've always said is that one of the problems with... | ||
| Women and Sex is that we have this idea still in our heads, a lot of people do, that sex is a bad thing. | ||
| And that a man having sex with a girl, he's done something to her, taking something from her. | ||
| And a lot of it comes from a bunch of fucking idiots that think that a woman having sex with a man is a bad thing. | ||
| So she gets shamed for it. | ||
| So she feels bad for being shamed for having sex. | ||
| And so she equates that with her having been, like a crime's been committed on her. | ||
| Because people will make you feel bad. | ||
| Because you, oh, that guy fucked you. | ||
| Oh, you loser. | ||
| Like, no, you had sex. | ||
| You're normal. | ||
| You're alive. | ||
| You're a person. | ||
| You have hormones. | ||
| It feels good. | ||
| You did it because you wanted to do it. | ||
| Men and women do it. | ||
| Our Puritan values and our ridiculous notions, completely unequal. | ||
| That a woman can have sexual experiences with a guy, and more than one man, and she's a fucking slut. | ||
| But if a guy does it, he's a stud. | ||
| It's... | ||
| It's stupid, and it's all based on Puritan values, and a lot of it's based on the time before birth control. | ||
| And disease, when you didn't have antibiotics, you had to be very careful who you had sex with. | ||
| But birth control, a big one. | ||
| Syphilis is no joke. | ||
| A woman having these responsibilities that she has to worry about becoming impregnated, you know, where a guy can just fucking shoot loads all fucking willy-nilly till the cows come home and not worry about a goddamn thing happening to his body. | ||
| He's celebrating. | ||
| A woman has to be concerned every time she has intercourse that she might have to raise a child, drop out of school, or have an abortion. | ||
| Those are the real cold, hard facts. | ||
| And so this ground is very uneven. | ||
| But now you add in birth control, which is like a lot of people believe one of the radical changes in society, in this culture, was in the 1950s when they invented, or 60s when they invented, when did they invent birth control? | ||
| 50s or 60s? | ||
| One of those. | ||
| I believe it was the 60s. | ||
| But a massive change, massive change in the way human beings interacted, males and females. | ||
| Because all of a sudden, the women's liberation movement happened. | ||
| Women were allowed to have sex and not worry about constantly having to worry about being impregnated and having babies with these dudes. | ||
| Well, they just wanted to fuck. | ||
| They were just young people wanting to live their life and wanted to do what their hormones were telling them to do. | ||
| To enjoy it. | ||
| It's one of the great... | ||
| Fun things in life is a man and a woman having sex. | ||
| And this idea that two people having sex if they're drunk is rape, the problem with it is it's only rape for the girl. | ||
| It's not rape for the guy. | ||
| No one is ever going to argue that if a guy and a girl get together and they have a couple of drinks and the girl gets on top of the guy and has sex with them that the guy got raped. | ||
| No one is ever going to argue that. | ||
| You can't take it to court. | ||
| You'll be laughed out of court. | ||
| So that's really unfair and really uneven. | ||
| And it's a response to the really unfair and really uneven views that we have about men and women and their sexuality. | ||
| So you think right now we're seeing a pendulum. | ||
| We're seeing the high end of the pendulum. | ||
| And it's going to come back and even. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, we're seeing a reaction. | ||
| I mean, we're seeing a reaction to the sex that's been marginalized, that females have been marginalized, that they've been oppressed. | ||
| And look, rape is fucking real as shit, man. | ||
| Like, we're in Alaska, and one of the things that we talked about when we were in Alaska with people that live there is how many people get raped up there. | ||
| And that these women who live in Alaska, you're dealing with high rates of alcoholism, you're dealing with isolated populations, and you're dealing with a lot of rape. | ||
| Well, because there are few women, very few women to men in a lot of those towns. | ||
| Something crazy, like seven to one, seven men to one women? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, girls, if you're looking for dick, Alaska. | ||
| Alaska. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo-woo! | |
| A lot of rugged men. | ||
| Did you ever see those posters, like the men of, like calendars they used to sell to gals? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The men of Alaska, and dudes with fucking cowboy hats and giant dongs, sitting there with a fly fishing pole. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| I like to fish and fuck. | ||
| Well, yeah, that's the funny thing about pornography when it comes to women. | ||
| Like, some women enjoy watching men and women have sex, but very few women like Playgirl. | ||
| Like, Playgirl and looking at a guy's cocks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's for dudes. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Playgirl is for fucking dudes. | ||
| If you're a guy and you pose for Playgirl, you're doing gay porn. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| I know you don't want to think, no, no, no. | ||
| No, bro. | ||
| Bro, fucking girls are liberated, man. | ||
| Although more women are watching, more and more women apparently are watching porn. | ||
| Dude, I looked at one Playgirl once. | ||
| Once! | ||
| Just once. | ||
| I had a gun to my head. | ||
| And a guy was like doing like, what's that baby, happy baby position? | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Where you're lying down, your feet are up in the air, and your legs are bent, and he was holding his feet. | ||
| And his fucking cock was like three quarters hard, because you're not allowed to show hard cocks in those magazines. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because hard cocks is hardcore pornography. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Very strange. | ||
| Soft dicks. | ||
| When I was a kid, porn, you weren't allowed to show hard-ons. | ||
| You had to show, like, semis. | ||
| Only semis. | ||
| It was very strange. | ||
| So, like, all porn scenes were guys, like, they were making pastries. | ||
| They were all, like, squeezing the base of their dick like they were trying to write Happy Birthday with their cock. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was all porn. | ||
| That was all magazines. | ||
| There was no penetration in magazines. | ||
| Now you've got RedTube and XX and NX and all that shit. | ||
| Our ability to view sex has changed so radically that people, apparently, especially kids, are engaging in way more sex early. | ||
| And also the kind of sex they watch on TV because a lot of the women, girls, think they have to keep up with the boys' fantasies because they've been watching all this porn. | ||
| And boys get really bored too, apparently. | ||
| I've read studies or heard about studies where a lot of boys will... | ||
| Like when you and I were growing up just seeing a naked girl, we weren't looking at imperfections. | ||
| We were like, holy fucking shit, she's naked. | ||
| Like I don't... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Boys now have access to these women that have been surgically enhanced and photoshopped and all that stuff and with makeup and their appreciation for linear lines and all that stuff is way more heightened. | ||
| They're way more picky. | ||
| And so a lot of women, they'll go with one girl and then they'll go to the next girl and there's a lot more of that apparently. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, apparently. | ||
| It's amazing, though, that we have all these weird hang-ups in this day and age when it comes to sex. | ||
| And I think a lot of it has to be because it's like sexual attraction is not an even thing. | ||
| I mean, have you ever been around a woman who is not sexually attractive, but she has a friend who's sexually attractive? | ||
| There's a lot of the women who are non-sexually attractive get fucking aggressive. | ||
| They don't like men. | ||
| They try to keep men away from their friend. | ||
| And they try to protect their friend under the guise. | ||
| But it's not. | ||
| They're cockblockers. | ||
| They're hardcore cockblockers because they're angry that they're not sexually attractive. | ||
| And a lot of it is just a fucking genetic roll of the dice. | ||
| You have perfect bone structure, your nose is the perfect shape, your body's perfect shape, and everybody's gravitating towards you. | ||
| But you go to the person on the left, and this person, their dad was goofy looking, their mom was goofy looking, and then they made goofy looking kids. | ||
| There's nothing that goofy looking kid can do about it. | ||
| But when you're talking about these radical feminists who are coming up with these laws or whatever, again, this is the lunatic fringe. | ||
| This is an example, if we can bring it back to the Islam debate. | ||
| I believe that these people are unreasonable. | ||
| And there are a lot of people in religion that are unreasonable. | ||
| And I think that these feminists who are pushing these laws are very similar to fundamentalists. | ||
| They are religious in their own way. | ||
| They have their own orthodoxy, their own fundamentalism, their own very strong ideas of what rape is. | ||
| And rape is anything, anything that they deem it to be in this case. | ||
| They put rape, they put somebody who didn't necessarily say they wanted to have sex on the same ground as somebody who was violently raped by some stranger in a parking lot at knife point, whatever. | ||
| And it's the same kind of... | ||
| Some people have this need to be unreasonable, to be fundamentalist in their beliefs. | ||
| And it is, in its own way, a prison of belief. | ||
| It is very similar to the kind of, in the case we were talking about with Islam, the very similar mindset as an Islamic fundamentalist. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of people who are angry. | ||
| Look, there's a lot of men who are angry at women, okay? | ||
| The angry male movement, like there's the men's rights movement. | ||
| There's a lot of those guys are fucking very angry at women. | ||
| There's a lot of the pickup artist movement. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Those guys, there's a lot of them. | ||
| Not all of them, but a lot of them that I've read forums. | ||
| I've listened to these guys talking videos. | ||
| There's a lot of them that are clearly angry with women. | ||
| And one of the big arguments, one of the big... | ||
| The big points of contention, the big things they're pissed off about, is them not being attractive to women. | ||
| Because women want money, women want status, women want good-looking guys, they want this, they want that. | ||
| So these pickup artists are showing you ways to circumnavigate that. | ||
| There's this one video where this guy had long hair, and he's trying to be this cool guy. | ||
| He's like, I don't give a fuck if you're in a wheelchair. | ||
| Have you seen this video? | ||
| He goes, I can teach you how to fuck. | ||
| Yeah, he wanted to be in my podcast. | ||
| I was like, Was fucking preposterous. | ||
| He's disgusting. | ||
| And this idea is based on the fact that there's some people that just women don't find attractive and they feel like it's not fair. | ||
| So they go out, they try to pick... | ||
| They're going to manipulate their way into her pants. | ||
| Well, they're trying to, because otherwise they're not going to get in there. | ||
| They're just not. | ||
| And one of the reasons why a lot of this is an issue, and this is what's really fucked up, Prostitution's illegal. | ||
| And prostitution should be fucking legal. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| And if prostitution was legal, and it was sanctioned, and women were tested... | ||
| You'd have an outlet! | ||
| You'd have an outlet, and men wouldn't have to feel always that there's no way anyone's ever going to touch them. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Everybody wants to think that there's something awful and terrible about prostitution. | ||
| Look, I don't want my daughter becoming a prostitute, but guess what? | ||
| I don't want my daughter working at Wendy's either. | ||
| I don't want my daughter being a waitress. | ||
| If someone can give you a massage, and a massage is totally legal, what is a massage? | ||
| They don't want to touch you. | ||
| They're touching you because you're paying them. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| And you feel good when they touch you. | ||
| Why is that okay, but jerking you off is not okay? | ||
| In Asian countries, they don't feel that way. | ||
| As a matter of fact, in a lot of those countries, massage with a jerk-off at the end is a natural part of massage. | ||
| Or what about just a woman who is willing to, for a certain price, Fuck you. | ||
| She's in command of her own body. | ||
| She's willing to engage in a transaction with you, an economic transaction. | ||
| You want to touch this? | ||
| On her terms. | ||
| No problem. | ||
| It's on my terms? | ||
| No problem. | ||
| Why is that illegal? | ||
| And why can't she make her rate? | ||
| Why can't she say, look, you want to have sex with me, if you're kind to me and you're nice, I will have sex with you, I want $5,000. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, and she can have sex once a month, and that's it. | ||
| And she doesn't have to work for the rest of the fucking month. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| She gets all of her bills paid, and she's done. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Where is she? | ||
| No. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| But why is that? | ||
| It's the idea being that that person is a sicko. | ||
| But we were talking about dominatrixes while we were in camp. | ||
| And one of the things we were talking about was how weird it is that people, like a lot of really rich and powerful men especially, pay to get dominated by women. | ||
| Like women will tie them up and fucking rope their balls to the ground and all that shit you were talking to me about. | ||
| And that's okay. | ||
| Like, somehow or another, that's okay. | ||
| Like, that falls... | ||
| Because the guy is kind of being brutalized, like, it's okay. | ||
| Even if it's, like, sexual, it's okay. | ||
| It's, like, weird. | ||
| But if it's just straight sex, you know, if the woman puts her mouth in the guy's penis for ten minutes... | ||
| There's ejaculation, I guess, or whatever. | ||
| Yeah, it's just... | ||
| Well, doesn't that have its origins in... | ||
| Religion. | ||
| Religion, yeah. | ||
| And so, again, this is where… The Puritan nature of this country. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And so that, again, is what I'm saying about we live in a very religious country in many ways. | ||
| And whenever you look at Islam or you look at Christianity, I believe that the majority of people from any religion, if you really talk to them, we have a lot more in common. | ||
| Americans have a lot more in common with… I bet a lot of the average Arab on the street, if you really get them alone, a lot more in common than you think. | ||
| I mean, my God, I guarantee most of them want some saying who governs them. | ||
| Most people have doubts about their religion. | ||
| Most people don't want to see people suffer and be hurt even though their religion might say you should stone somebody, etc., etc. | ||
| Most people are reasonable. | ||
| Most people are that way. | ||
| And it is the loudest lunatic fringe that tends to sway the debate. | ||
| Look at this country. | ||
| Look at the parties, the Republican and Democratic Party. | ||
| Look at who really gets all the headlines. | ||
| It's the loudest motherfuckers. | ||
| Yeah, and it's also, if you grew up in that environment, the reality is, if that was your standard of behavior, if you were around people like those guys in that video, you know, how many of you belong to a regular mosque? | ||
| If you were around that guy, you'd be like that guy. | ||
| That's the reality is we imitate our atmosphere. | ||
| Or you would assume the position when you're in church, and then you go about your day, and life is busy, and you're like, And in that sense, I can see, I totally see this pendulum shifting back and forth, and this yes means yes. | ||
| I kind of see the origins of it, and I kind of see, like, I see the whole thing from a larger perspective, but I just feel that as human beings trying to engineer our society, that what we should really be trying to do, if it is at all possible... | ||
| Is approach each other and approach these situations with kindness and compassion and love and dignity and friendship. | ||
| The idea that we could establish friendship. | ||
| And establish that people who are in certain situations do things that they regret. | ||
| Whether it's a woman getting drunk, having sex with a guy she didn't really want to have sex with. | ||
| After the fact, when she realized, like, what have I done? | ||
| Blah, blah, blah. | ||
| But let's approach this with compassion. | ||
| Let's counsel these people to not get drunk and make poor choices. | ||
| Let's not turn the men into rapists or use that term where there are real rapists. | ||
| There are people that fucking hate women and they want to hold them down and put a knife to their neck and fuck them just so they can say they did it because they're evil cunts. | ||
| Those guys should be in jail. | ||
| But the guy who gets drunk and has sex with a girl who says, do you have a condom? | ||
| And the guy says, yes, and then texts her friend, I'm coming over. | ||
| I'm going to go have sex with this guy. | ||
| That's not rape! | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| It's just not. | ||
| It's called personal responsibility. | ||
| And to say that this young 18-year-old guy is supposed to have more responsibility in that scenario than the 18-year-old girl is totally sexist, completely illogical, totally unfair, and evil. | ||
| It's evil. | ||
| That's really sexist. | ||
| I mean, that's like one of the most sexist approaches to two human beings enjoying each other's company that I can even imagine. | ||
| Because you're dealing with a completely even scenario. | ||
| A guy and a girl communicating that they want to be together. | ||
| The girl communicating to her friend. | ||
| She's about to go have sex. | ||
| Saying, I'm going to go have sex now. | ||
| You know, Francis Fukuyama, who's like, you know, Harold is this incredible intellectual. | ||
| He just wrote this book now. | ||
| It's coming out. | ||
| He said that if you look at history, it's been man's quest for dignity. | ||
| Like every culture, every person. | ||
| That's what people really strive for as nations, as people. | ||
| Just the idea that they want some dignity. | ||
| They want some governance over their own body. | ||
| They want fair play. | ||
| They want to be heard. | ||
| They want to not be humiliated. | ||
| All those things. | ||
| And it's kind of an interesting thing if you think about it, under one word, what human beings really, that human history has been sort of a march and a quest for dignity by peoples and by individuals. | ||
| We're trying to engineer a more idealistic society. | ||
| Slowly but surely from the dark ages on to 2014, from the beginning of writing shit down on animal skins, trying to establish a set of moral principles based on the word of God or Allah or Buddha or whoever the fuck you want. | ||
| We're trying to figure out a way to do things better. | ||
| And that's what we're still doing. | ||
| And so a law like this, the yes means yes, what are they trying to do? | ||
| They're trying to stop sexual assault on campus, which is a real issue. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| And so are we. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Right? | ||
| But it's a question of what your methodology is. | ||
| And whether you're creating more damage than good, whether you're being fair in this or not. | ||
| And I think that's where the debate has to start. | ||
| What is the common goal? | ||
| We don't want people to be raped. | ||
| We all agree with that if you're a reasonable person and a good guy. | ||
| And now the question is, what's the best way to do that? | ||
| But how can anybody ever think that getting people to say... | ||
| You know, like, say, okay, do you want to have sex with me? | ||
| Yes, I want to have sex. | ||
| That's the only way to do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gross! | |
| I want romance, man! | ||
|
unidentified
|
What about the fun? | |
| What happened to movies? | ||
| Yeah, what about the fun of it? | ||
| Like, holy shit, look what we're doing. | ||
| This is crazy! | ||
| The fun of kissing, and then a girl reaches and grabs your dick, and you're like, okay, boy! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's the best. | |
| You didn't say, are we going to have sex now? | ||
| There was no conversation. | ||
| You're kissing a girl and she just grabs your dick. | ||
| It's one of the greatest moments in life. | ||
| She's down for the count. | ||
| It really is one of the greatest moments in life when you're not sure what's going to happen. | ||
| You're young. | ||
| You're kissing. | ||
| I was on a date once with this girl and I thought it was done. | ||
| I thought, well, whatever. | ||
| I took her on a date and I was pulling out all the stops, you know, talking about this, that line about celebrities I know, etc., etc. | ||
| It was all Going well, but she was not impressed. | ||
| And so finally, I was like, alright. | ||
| It was in New York City. | ||
| I was going to put her in a cab. | ||
| And she goes, you put me in a cab? | ||
| And I went, what do you mean? | ||
| She goes, so that's it? | ||
| You put me in a cab. | ||
| You're wimping out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, never mind, cab driver. | |
| We're going up to my place. | ||
| I was like, yee-haw! | ||
| Those are some of the greatest moments of your life as a young man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those are some fucking good times. | ||
| When it all works out. | ||
| There's ones that work out terribly. | ||
| There's ones that you get together and one person says something stupid and the other person says something stupider. | ||
| And you're like, oh, fuck. | ||
| We're in a fucking quagmire. | ||
| No one's getting out of this. | ||
| Yeah, personalities clash, and it doesn't always work. | ||
| But when it does work, God, it's magic. | ||
| And to try to quantify that magic with a conversation of consent, and people say, well, your romance is not as important as a woman's sexual sovereignty, and you need to establish it. | ||
| Shut up! | ||
| The really gross voices in this are not even the women. | ||
| Because I think, fundamentally, A lot of women probably have a really hard time understanding the male urge. | ||
| Just like, fundamentally, a man has a very difficult time truly conceptualizing the idea that a woman wants to get pregnant. | ||
| You know, the urge to have a baby grow in your body is fundamentally a very difficult thing for a guy to wrap his head around. | ||
| And so, when a woman wants to do something that's illogical, To sort of regulate male sexuality. | ||
| I almost kind of understand it. | ||
| I almost kind of look at it and I go, well, yeah, I guess they just don't... | ||
| Maybe they don't know what it's like to be a man, you know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| But when a man steps in and starts saying a bunch of really illogical shit, when a man starts taking radical feminist points of view, that shit becomes very offensive to me. | ||
| Because then, that's when I know... | ||
| What you're really doing is you're trying to earn favor. | ||
| You're trying to establish this really unusually moral position. | ||
| Social brownie points. | ||
| Hashtag social brownie points. | ||
| Hashtag male feminists. | ||
| And, you know, I mean, look, again, we both have, I don't want to call them feminists, but we both have what we call humanist values. | ||
| Like, I think absolutely everyone should be treated equally in the law. | ||
| But we're not equal in society. | ||
| We're just not. | ||
| Just like we're not equal. | ||
| Some people are stronger, faster. | ||
| Yeah, some people are smarter. | ||
| The world is weird, man. | ||
| Some people are tall. | ||
| Some people are short. | ||
| Some people are sexually attractive. | ||
| Some people are not. | ||
| We're not equally funny. | ||
| Some people are not fucking funny. | ||
| They never will be. | ||
| Some people suck at math. | ||
| I'm one of them. | ||
| Some people, you know, there's like a lot of shit that's just not fair. | ||
| It's just the world. | ||
| The world is weird. | ||
| And when men come along and they want to establish Some weird, fake male behavior rules. | ||
| And I know what they're doing. | ||
| When I know what they're doing, when I know they're saying things, they're making videos about... | ||
| We talked about it on the Thaddeus Russell podcast. | ||
| That Dear Woman video. | ||
| You ever see the Dear Woman video? | ||
| Oh, you've never seen it either? | ||
| No. | ||
| For real? | ||
| No. | ||
| Jamie, pull it up one more time. | ||
| One more time. | ||
| Just for the folks at home that may not have seen it. | ||
| It's these guys who no woman in their right mind would ever want to touch. | ||
| And these guys are apologizing for all women. | ||
| Oh, those guys are the greatest. | ||
| Dear women. | ||
| Have you seen it? | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| You have seen it. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen that. | ||
| Never mind. | ||
| Those guys are the perfect... | ||
| Thank you for your strength. | ||
| Yeah, yes. | ||
| Thank you for your wonderful characteristics. | ||
| We apologize for all the men who've treated you poorly. | ||
| Like, what, choking you when you ask to be choked when you get fucked? | ||
| There's reality! | ||
| Of course! | ||
| Those men are traitors. | ||
| Those men are gender traitors. | ||
| And all of them, to a man or women, Or men that women wouldn't want to fuck. | ||
| Or there's a couple of them that look like players in there that are just taking that stance. | ||
| Bad guys. | ||
| Impostors. | ||
| Impostors! | ||
| There's a lot of creepers out there, man, on both sides. | ||
| Who is it? | ||
| Like Dante in the Inferno said... | ||
| He goes that impostors, when he created his image of hell, which was a cone, inverted cone, and the very worst, the bottom of the center of the earth, are, you know, murderers and sadistic killers and impostors. | ||
| Impostors are actually down there with them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cunts! | |
| Cunts! | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of that out there, man. | ||
| There's a lot of, well, there's just a lot of, again, there's a lot of uneven in the world. | ||
| Like, there's a lot of people that are these, remember when, you ever see Peter Schiff when he was at Occupy Wall Street? | ||
| No. | ||
| And there was a bunch of people that were on Occupy Wall Street, and he had this video. | ||
| Peter Schiff is a brilliant guy, economist, and I had him on the podcast. | ||
| Fascinating. | ||
| I don't necessarily agree with all of his points of view, but he's a very bright man, and he knows so much more about economics than I ever will. | ||
| And he was talking to these people. | ||
| He set up a booth. | ||
| Like a stand, you know, it had a big sign that said, ask a one percenter. | ||
| And if you've never seen it, pull that up, because it's fucking amazing. | ||
| And it's these people that are angry, man, but their ideas are so uninformed, poorly thought out, and easily picked apart. | ||
| And one of them was like, why do you need so much money, man? | ||
| He's like, I employ 100 people. | ||
| Who do you employ? | ||
| How many people do you employ? | ||
| How many people do you help? | ||
| Like, you're asking me, why do I need so much money? | ||
| Why do I make so much money? | ||
| It's just capitalism. | ||
| You're a capitalist, too. | ||
| You're just not good at it. | ||
| You know, like, do you pay money for food? | ||
| Do you pay money for rent? | ||
| Well, then you're a capitalist. | ||
| You get paid for work. | ||
| Do you get paid for work? | ||
| Yes, you get paid for work. | ||
| You're a capitalist. | ||
| Like, you're just not good at it. | ||
| This is incredible. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Ask the 1%. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I agree with the sentiment, and I agree with the fact that you should be protesting. | |
| It's just my point is it's Washington that should be the recipient of the protest. | ||
| You guys should be marching on the White House and the Federal Reserve demanding your freedom back. | ||
| Look, Steve Jobs just passed away. | ||
| He made billions. | ||
| How many people here have iPhones in their pockets? | ||
| I feel like what you want is... | ||
| He's not a humanitarian. | ||
| He's a businessman. | ||
| But he enriched the lives of millions of people pursuing his own self-interest. | ||
| I am not a ramp so that you can do an ollie in front of your camera. | ||
| I actually want to have a conversation. | ||
| The what? | ||
| The 99% to 1% meme was just one meme out of many memes. | ||
| What's a meme? | ||
| I'm so sorry. | ||
| A popular turn of phrase. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So the catchphrase, 99%. | ||
| This is not 99% park. | ||
| It's Liberty Plaza. | ||
| And the 99% catchphrase is not... | ||
| Definitive of everyone here. | ||
| It makes sense why a popularity meme would be popular. | ||
| I understand you have to make money, but there's got to be regulations. | ||
| Because I believe in democracy, but I also believe in regulations. | ||
| The market has to grow at a sensible rate, right? | ||
| It cannot grow too fast. | ||
| If the market grows too fast, it will crash. | ||
| See, the regulation we want is the market. | ||
| That's the regulation that works. | ||
| The same thing is with labor. | ||
| A corporation just can't take advantage of its workers and pay them as little as it wants because businesses compete with one another to buy labor. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| What does slavery have to do with what we're talking about? | ||
| We're saying there is a role for government in our society, and corporations cannot do everything. | ||
| But slavery was wrong to begin with, so let's not even... | ||
| It was government that created it. | ||
| Government is there to protect property, life, liberty, and that's it. | ||
| You mentioned Walmart, so what are you afraid that Walmart's going to do to you? | ||
| What am I afraid they're going to do to me? | ||
| What is Walmart doing? | ||
| You should go and ask the employees that are working in sweatshop-type conditions that don't get enough hours, that don't have healthcare. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Then why don't they quit? | ||
| I mean, Walmart doesn't hold a gun to their head. | ||
| If they can get a better job... | ||
| So why did the rape victim get raped? | ||
| What was she doing out late at night? | ||
| Do you want to go back to 1920, 1930? | ||
| What is this golden year that Republicans want to go back to? | ||
| What year? | ||
| The 60s? | ||
| The 70s? | ||
| What year? | ||
| I don't want to go back to that technology, but I want to go back to that level of freedom. | ||
| I want... | ||
| There was more freedom for who? | ||
| Some women couldn't vote at some point. | ||
| African-Americans and others had to ride in the back of the bus. | ||
| You want to go back there. | ||
| We don't want to go back there. | ||
| I'm telling you, there's more economic freedom. | ||
| There was more economic freedom, but we're not social freedom and social justice. | ||
| There's been memorials for Steve Jobs all over the place, at every Apple store. | ||
| There's reporters that are all around the world that never asked one single question to Steve Jobs when he was alive. | ||
| Why are you manufacturing your iPhone in China and you don't have any of your manufacturing here in the United States? | ||
| Do you think that's fair to the American people? | ||
| Wait, the American people don't own those jobs. | ||
| Steve Jobs has a right to manufacture where he wants. | ||
| He does have a right to do it. | ||
| And the problem is we have made it too expensive for him to manufacture here. | ||
| Oh, we did. | ||
| Because the American workers want too much. | ||
| Because we want too much healthcare? | ||
| Oh, it's the government's fault. | ||
| Remember, the reason that employers want to lower wages is because their customers want low prices. | ||
| Everybody in this park wants low prices. | ||
| You can't have low prices. | ||
| No, we don't! | ||
| No, we don't! | ||
| Do you believe that the federal government has a right to exist in the government's lives of American people? | ||
| It has a right to exist, but not in the form it exists today. | ||
| It's operating outside the Constitution. | ||
| Do you believe the EPA should be disbanded? | ||
| I think it does a lot more harm than good. | ||
| Do you believe the FDA should be disbanded? | ||
| Yeah, I'd like to get rid of it. | ||
| What about the FDA? Uh-huh. | ||
| The Board of Education? | ||
| What about the Board of Education? | ||
| I want to get rid of the entire Federal Department of Education. | ||
| Yes, it is wasting our money. | ||
| And it is running up the cost of education. | ||
| Sir, what I've learned... | ||
| Let me finish. | ||
| What I've learned over the years is to never argue with a fool. | ||
| And you, my friend, are a fool. | ||
| Okay, so I'm foolish, right? | ||
| So I just stumbled into all my wealth. | ||
| I run all these businesses. | ||
| How could you disband the EPA and the FDA and the Board of Education? | ||
| Because it's not the Board of Education. | ||
| You're an idiot. | ||
| You're talking about the Department of Education. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| It's emotional arguments. | ||
| 30% of the homeless people in America are veterans, so when everybody says we support the troops, that's a lie. | ||
| You support the troops when they're out there getting killed or shot, but when they come home and they're homeless and they got no jobs, you don't support the troops. | ||
| I didn't even support a lot of these wars that put those troops over there in the first place. | ||
| This guy's great though, this guy's Schiff. | ||
| That is the problem! | ||
| You'll be like, hey, can I be Secretary of the Treasury? | ||
| If they had no power, there'd be no lobbying. | ||
| There'd be nothing to give out. | ||
| We don't want the government to be able to pick winners and losers, to say, you get a bailout and you don't. | ||
| You pay a tax and you get a subsidy. | ||
| That is the problem. | ||
| There's this one guy that I actually wanted you to focus on that was like, he was asking him, why do you need so much money? | ||
| Like, why do you need? | ||
| Why can't you make, you know, $10 million instead of $100 million? | ||
| This is this other black dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think he had dreadlocks. | |
| Well, this is such an example of if you hold a point of view, it takes a long time to earn it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you care what the bank does with your money when you deposit it there? | |
| Do you care about the loans? | ||
| I do. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Do you worry? | ||
| It might not be in this. | ||
| It might be a different one. | ||
| There's a bunch of these videos out there. | ||
| What a gutsy guy. | ||
| I love that he did this. | ||
| He's got... | ||
| Is it two hours? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah, it was the wrong one. | ||
| There's one that was a short clip. | ||
| But that's such a classic example of like, you might be angry, I understand, but it's exactly the great Thoreau quote. | ||
| I see men everywhere hacking at the branches of evil while none are striking the root. | ||
| And if you want to say something's evil, if it's Wall Street, if it's big pharma, if it's whatever, it's so crucial to establish what kind of evil. | ||
| And the way you figure that out is who is the real enemy? | ||
| What is the root cause? | ||
| That's why you've got to read. | ||
| That's why you've got to earn your opinion. | ||
| Otherwise, you're just shouting in the wind and you're just part of that. | ||
| Well, not only that, you can't have a conversation like this where one guy has a microphone and he's going back and forth, handing it to you and you, and you do it in a video. | ||
| I want to end this. | ||
| I want to end that. | ||
| I want to end the Department of Education. | ||
| You're a fool. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| We didn't get anything done here. | ||
| Two people shouting their point of view. | ||
| To really establish what is wrong with the Department of Education, you have to have a long, nuanced conversation about what they're doing, how they're funded, what the problem is, how they subsidize college tuition so that it costs so much more for you to actually go to college, the reason why it's so goddamn expensive, and it would be different if this didn't exist. | ||
| Talking to people who know their shit and reading the right books who make a good argument is how you get closer at least. | ||
| Investigation over some time is how you get closer to figuring out where the real problems lie. | ||
| Yeah, it's the emotions that flare up when people start talking about things and they don't really have an educated opinion on them. | ||
| They just go there because they know something's wrong. | ||
| I equated Occupy Wall Street to like white blood cells. | ||
| I'm like, they know there's an infection, so they all circle around this area of infection, but it's not noticeably affected. | ||
| That's a really, really good metaphor for that, because you're right, it was a combination of a lot of things. | ||
| But it wasn't effective. | ||
| It's like they got there and like, there's a fucking infection. | ||
| We're white blood cells. | ||
| But nothing really got done other than... | ||
| Well, one thing did get done. | ||
| It opened up the dialogue. | ||
| But the dialogue was already opened up and people understood the bailout. | ||
| People started paying attention to the bailout. | ||
| And when people went broke and didn't know why. | ||
| But yes, it's why there are some very important and very challenging problems in the world. | ||
| And there are people out there that are coming up with good answers. | ||
| But unfortunately, and one of the things that's beautiful about a podcast, what I try to do with mine and what you certainly do with yours, is that a lot of really good ideas are stuck in books. | ||
| And I think that technology, podcasting, if it's done responsibly in a lot of other venues, is how you get those ideas out of those books. | ||
| Most of us don't have that much time to read, man. | ||
| We don't. | ||
| And I sympathize with that. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| It's really hard to formulate an educated opinion on shit. | ||
| You and I know that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| You know, like how many opinions that we'd have when we started doing podcasting and then I'd get corrected on this podcast, my podcast, I'd come up with a point of view and say something and people would be like, by the way, you're a little bit wrong on this. | ||
| And I'd go, I've been holding that belief for 10 fucking years. | ||
| And when you start to really investigate and try to come up with a really sound, strong, political philosophy, business philosophy, life philosophy, it takes a lot of fucking work and trial and error. | ||
| It's hard to let go of opinions. | ||
| But don't stop trying to come up with the answer. | ||
| A lot of people do not ever want to let go of their opinions. | ||
| Once they have that opinion, that motherfucker is locked in. | ||
| Because they form an emotion around it. | ||
| That's why. | ||
| Because it's exactly like talking to somebody when you see a religious person talk to an atheist. | ||
| The atheist says, God doesn't exist. | ||
| The religious person goes, wait a minute. | ||
| My religion gives me a feeling and a very good feeling. | ||
| It makes me feel like there's purpose and meaning in my life. | ||
| This guy's attacking that. | ||
| And then it becomes about that. | ||
| It becomes not about religion. | ||
| It becomes you're trying to take the feeling I have away from me. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| And that's why opinions are very hard to let go of. | ||
| Yeah, it's also when people are having conversations, a lot of times they're not just expressing each other and exchanging information or expressing themselves and exchanging information. | ||
| They're also trying to win. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| be the one with the correct information. | ||
| They're trying to be the smarter person. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| And sometimes they're doing it about stuff they don't really fucking have any information about. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But they're still in there swinging. | ||
| Like flailing away. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I used to do it all the time. | |
| Like a person who doesn't know how to fight who gets in fights. | ||
| I mean, have you ever seen a person who doesn't know how to fight? | ||
| We all have. | ||
| I've talked about it on this podcast. | ||
| This terrifying scenario that happened one night in front of the comedy store where I saw this guy get in a fight with this guy who didn't have any fucking skill at all. | ||
| He didn't know what to do. | ||
| He didn't know how to handle panic. | ||
| He had eyes closed and he was flailing and a bus pulled in front of him. | ||
| I couldn't see what happened because they were fighting on one side of the street and the bus blocked my vision. | ||
| And then when the bus passed, he was out cold on the concrete. | ||
| So obviously somebody punched him, but the guy didn't know how to fight, but yet he was still fighting. | ||
| And some people will get in arguments about some shit they don't have any information about. | ||
| They don't have nothing. | ||
| But they have an opinion and an attitude that is based on something that happened to them, an emotional thing. | ||
| We all have some of that in us. | ||
| I certainly do, and I've worked very hard to try to... | ||
| Let go of that shit when I'm in an argument and sometimes I have to check myself and go, man, I'm arguing to be right here because this person's attacking something else inside of me I'm not even aware of or whatever. | ||
| And you see it in relationships. | ||
| I got to check myself in my relationship sometimes. | ||
| We'll just start having an argument and I'm just pissed off and I want to have an argument because I feel like I want to be right about this subject. | ||
| And when I take a step back, a lot of times it's really hard to do, but it's really important sometimes you go, you know what? | ||
| I actually don't know that much about it. | ||
| Yeah, and sometimes someone will say something crazy to you, and instead of saying, wait a minute, you'll say something crazy back, and the next thing you know it's a fucking avalanche of crazy. | ||
| Both of you are swinging, swinging into the air, and emotional, and fucking can't breathe good. | ||
| It's also really important to identify what you mean by X. What do you mean by God? | ||
| What do you mean by religion? | ||
| What do you mean by, first, before we start, let's know what we agree on. | ||
| The argument now that I have with politics is this. | ||
| I don't talk about Republican, Democrat, liberal, or conservative. | ||
| I like the question of, we know that you need some governance. | ||
| Of course you need some governance in this society. | ||
| The debate really revolves around to what percent? | ||
| How much do you want government running your lives? | ||
| There's an answer, and some people want more. | ||
| There's just an answer. | ||
| To what degree, in what aspect? | ||
| It's a complicated question, but start the debate and the discussion that way, and you'll get it further along. | ||
| I like having my mind changed. | ||
| I like having my mind changed. | ||
| I like listening. | ||
| You were talking the other day, and you were explaining where technology was going, and I had a lot of opinions because I'd been reading the same shit. | ||
| I was about to jump in with a bunch of my points as well, but then I was like, wait, let me just listen to this. | ||
| And I learned some shit that I didn't know before. | ||
| It's a new thing for me, man. | ||
| Is it a new thing for you? | ||
| A little bit, like to really listen and key into what somebody's saying and look for something new and look for something that you might not know instead of trying to add to the conversation. | ||
| Hey, by the way, guys, this is something I know as well. | ||
| We all do that. | ||
| We fucking do that all the time. | ||
| Everybody does that. | ||
| Oh, Joe's saying this? | ||
| Let me add this to it. | ||
| Let me put a cherry on that sundae for you guys to show you that I'm also knowledgeable and smart, you know? | ||
| Instead of just keying in, maybe not saying anything. | ||
| You know what I like? | ||
| You know I like what answer I like from people a lot of times? | ||
| What do you think of this? | ||
| And a lot of people go, I don't know. | ||
| It's a good answer. | ||
| It's a good answer. | ||
| It's very important. | ||
| It's very important. | ||
| Being able to say you don't know, that's like, why is that hard for people? | ||
| It's hard because we equate our knowledge, like how much knowledge we have, with how strong we are. | ||
| And I don't know sounds weak. | ||
| Yeah, and our personal opinion of ourselves. | ||
| But we're coming to find out, especially in this day and age, that's one of the good things about things like Google, You can't know everything. | ||
| You cannot. | ||
| I've had fucking conversations with people where they seem fairly intelligent. | ||
| And then they'll say something, they'll want to have a conversation about martial arts. | ||
| And they'll say something so off-base and so ridiculous that now I have to question everything that they've said before. | ||
| Because you've just stepped into my world. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And you stepped into my world acting like you know what the fuck you're talking about. | ||
| Well, how many of these other things you've told me are bullshit too? | ||
| That's so disappointing. | ||
| I've had that happen to me where people will say something and you go, you're really smart at a lot of stuff and you just stepped into a different arena. | ||
| You're in the middle of the ocean with no boat right now. | ||
| It's one of the few things where I'll just completely stop the conversation. | ||
| I go, no, no, stop. | ||
| I get offended when people start talking about chi, and it's about centering your energy, and some people can't be pushed over. | ||
| Please shut the fuck up. | ||
| Stay in your lane. | ||
| You want to see something amazing, though, that is real, some real martial arts shit that is kind of like magic? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Jamie, there's a video on my Twitter feed that's from today, and it's from a long time ago, from I think it was the 1950s, this fucking old man doing judo with his top students. | ||
| And this old dude is like, I don't know how old he is at the time, but he's fucking old. | ||
| He's old and he's really frail looking. | ||
| Go full screen on this. | ||
| This is fucking incredible, man. | ||
| I mean, this is really incredible to watch. | ||
| Does it say how old he is in this video? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He looks like a skeleton. | ||
| Tev Dan, preparing for a challenge with high-level students. | ||
| Now, watch what the fuck happens, man. | ||
| This is a tiny little old man. | ||
| And this isn't bullshit, okay? | ||
| I know bullshit, and I know choreography. | ||
| I'm watching this judo, and these guys are really trying to throw this dude. | ||
| But check this out. | ||
| Look at this old dude. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Just perfect technique. | ||
| Look how his legs go flying up in the air. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| How he resists the technique. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Effortless, almost. | ||
| This guy's trying to throw him. | ||
| Fuck yeah he is. | ||
| He's trying to throw him, but the old man knows exactly how to position himself. | ||
| Watch. | ||
| Look, see? | ||
| Damn! | ||
| He goes behind the hip every time. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| And watch these young guys. | ||
| These young black belts are watching this. | ||
| This guy is old as fuck. | ||
| He's much smaller. | ||
| But watch how he throws him. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| He finds the move. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Every time he tries to throw him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at this. | |
| Boom! | ||
| And then they bow to each other, and then the next guy comes along. | ||
| And this guy is fucking tiny, man. | ||
| This old dude is... | ||
| I mean, I don't know how big the other guy is, but he's significantly smaller than the other guy. | ||
| It's hard, because we're not standing there in perspective, but we're watching this little old man get ragdolled. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| But when he gets picked in the air, look at how he just goes with it. | ||
| I mean, look, that guy fucking tried so hard. | ||
| And the old man just flowed with him. | ||
| Just got behind his hips and stayed relaxed. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Relaxed. | ||
| Stayed relaxed. | ||
| The guy tried to use the same move. | ||
| He's really trying to throw him. | ||
| You can see it. | ||
| Oh, fuck yeah, he is. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| But look at this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| The old man waits for his moment and throws him. | ||
| I mean, it's brilliant. | ||
| It's amazing to watch. | ||
| He's like water, man. | ||
| And judo is one of the roughest when it comes to martial arts on your body. | ||
| So watching this old, really old man throw these young cats around is incredibly impressive because of the fact that it's so physically dependent. | ||
| I mean, you see, like, the really great judokas. | ||
| Like, look in the UFC. Like, Hector Mumbar. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| The old dude sent that guy flying. | ||
| Oh, shit! | ||
| Oh, shit! | ||
| It's incredible, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| This is fucking amazing! | ||
| Look at this! | ||
| It's like a movie! | ||
| Yeah, look how he goes with it when the guy tries to throw him. | ||
| He just goes. | ||
| He's in perfect position every time. | ||
| Well, his hips, yeah. | ||
| His hips are... | ||
| It's positioning. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| I was going to say, and by the way, these are... | ||
| Man, I don't know what kind of floor that is, but that's not like modern fucking matted floors. | ||
| It's like wood. | ||
| It's probably hard as shit. | ||
| Like Hector Lombard, like a physical specimen. | ||
| Ronda Rousey, physical specimen. | ||
| And these are like great judokas that are in mixed martial arts today. | ||
| You know, and there's a lot of, like, their explosion, their ability to close the distance and execute techniques that can be attributed to this power and athleticism. | ||
| But this old dude ain't got none of that, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| Because, you know, if you watch it, like, in the Olympics, it's so explosive. | ||
| It's like, boom! | ||
| It's, like, so quick. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| And this dude's like water. | ||
| He's literally like a ghost. | ||
| Yeah, it's incredible, man. | ||
| It's incredible to watch. | ||
| Have you ever seen me dance? | ||
| Show up with some videos? | ||
| I really wish I knew more about this dude, when this was filmed. | ||
| What is this called, this video? | ||
| It says, Amazing Old Judo Throw Defense. | ||
| The guy's name is Mifune. | ||
| M-I-F-U-N-E. Accepts challenges from high-level students. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| That guy's really trying, dude. | ||
| Oh, of course he is. | ||
| Of course he is. | ||
| I mean, you can see the effort, and he's doing the right thing, too. | ||
| I mean, the guy who's trying is a fucking high-level judoka himself. | ||
| Like, look how he's throwing these techniques. | ||
| He's trying these hip tosses, and he's not getting anywhere with it. | ||
| He's got a ridiculous haircut, that guy. | ||
| Look at this, the old guy just, he keeps getting behind his hips. | ||
| You see how he places his weight every time? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at this! | ||
| Oh, shit! | ||
| Look at that! | ||
| Timing, man! | ||
| He can see his opening! | ||
| That guy is a first Dan. | ||
| He's a first degree black belt. | ||
| And this guy's an eighth degree black belt here. | ||
| But the old man's a ten. | ||
| So this guy right here is probably the highest level student that he's done it against in this video. | ||
| But it just shows how technique is everything. | ||
| It's so fucking important. | ||
| And athleticism, with great technique, is almost unbeatable. | ||
| It's one of the reasons why a guy like Lombard is so good. | ||
| It's because he has both of those. | ||
| His technique is flawless. | ||
| I wonder what Lombard would say if he saw this. | ||
| Be amazed. | ||
| Well, judokas are very proud of judo. | ||
| You know, like judo, Jean LaBelle's very proud of it. | ||
| Ronda's proud of it. | ||
| You know, judo is a fucking hard martial art, man. | ||
| It's hard on the body, very difficult to learn, and it requires a great deal of understanding. | ||
| Understanding of the mechanics of the body and leverage. | ||
| Ronda told me she was like 11 and she broke her toe. | ||
| And she was crying and her mother made her run laps. | ||
| Her mother goes, you might break your toe in competition. | ||
| Run laps. | ||
| She was just like... | ||
| She's a little badass. | ||
| Her mother's a hard woman. | ||
| Yeah, but look what she created. | ||
| Oh, she created... | ||
| An extreme winner. | ||
| You know, what's interesting is... | ||
| I love her. | ||
| Ronda is going to... | ||
| You know, she's going to defend her title against Kat Zingano. | ||
| And if she beats Kat Zingano... | ||
| Cyborg is scheduled to fight as a 135 pounder for the first time in December in Invicta. | ||
| Invicta is an all-female mixed martial arts league. | ||
| And Cyborg is the 145 pound champ. | ||
| She's dropping down to 135 for the first time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a hard cut for her. | |
| It's a fucking very hard cut. | ||
| But, like a lot of these people that maybe did some questionable things that made them get larger, maybe something, they lose weight, and then they become smaller, and, you know, maybe it'd be easier for now to drop that weight. | ||
| I mean, I don't know. | ||
| But it's certainly a very fucking compelling matchup, because Cyborg... | ||
| Well, there was a picture of her and her husband from behind. | ||
| And her back was about as wide as her husband's. | ||
| And her husband was a stud. | ||
| I mean, he was a wide, thick, strong guy. | ||
| She's a big gal. | ||
| Big, thick gal. | ||
| But, you know, if you do hardcore cardio, like marathon running and shit like that, your body will automatically... | ||
| Shed that kind of weight. | ||
| Atrophy the muscle. | ||
| You're going to start slimming down. | ||
| Just change your diet. | ||
| You can force yourself to lose weight. | ||
| I mean, you can only force yourself to lose a certain amount and still be athletically competitive. | ||
| But she's still doing strength and conditioning exercises. | ||
| She's still doing all sorts of things that build muscle. | ||
| And if she didn't, if she really wanted to drop down to 135 pounds, she would have to diminish her body mass. | ||
| Who that you know, fighter-wise, I was thinking about BJ Penn, but who do you know who's really fought in the most drastic weight categories? | ||
| BJ's the most. | ||
| BJ fought heavyweight and then fought featherweight. | ||
| How much did he weigh when he fought heavyweight? | ||
| He fought, he was probably 190-something. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Maybe he was a little bit heavier than that, but when he fought Lyota Machida, Machida was over 205, so Machida was technically a heavyweight. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know what Machida weighed, but... | ||
| He's not tall. | ||
| I mean, he's short and... | ||
| He's a fucking animal, though. | ||
| In his prime, he was a fucking animal. | ||
| But I think that he's probably the biggest example of a high-level guy that's fought. | ||
| Obviously, Machida went on to be the light heavyweight champion and is a contender right now in the middleweight division, and BJ just fought as a featherweight. | ||
| He's got the most drastic changes. | ||
| Was there any follow-up as to... | ||
| A lot of people were really surprised by when he was fighting Frank Edgar in this last fight. | ||
| His feet were so close together and he was on his toes. | ||
| It was very strange. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Was there... | ||
| Was that ever addressed by him or by anybody else? | ||
| Yeah, he said he was trying to conserve energy. | ||
| He decided that that was a stance that he was going to adopt because in keeping his legs wide and pushing off with his legs that it would require too much energy. | ||
| He's always had a problem with stamina. | ||
| That's been his problem. | ||
| He was ferocious in the first round of the second fight with Matt Hughes or the third fight? | ||
| Second fight? | ||
| Whatever fight he lost. | ||
| Second fight. | ||
| Third fight, he knocked Matt Hughes out. | ||
| He was ferocious in the first round and then ran out of gas in the second. | ||
| Matt Hughes started beating him down in the second round. | ||
| And it was because Matt Hughes was in better shape. | ||
| BJ, at his best, was when he was training with the Marinovichs. | ||
| Because Marinovichs were fucking animals when it came to strength and conditioning. | ||
| And they got him in unbelievable shape. | ||
| He was just shredded. | ||
| He had abs. | ||
| He's fighting at 155 pounds. | ||
| He was strong. | ||
| And when he beat Joe Stevenson, when he beat Diego Sanchez at 155 pounds, he was the best. | ||
| He was at his best. | ||
| And he was just in incredible shape. | ||
| He was a monster. | ||
| But it was conditioning. | ||
| Just, you know, lives a good life. | ||
| He lives in Hawaii. | ||
| He's got plenty of money. | ||
| He's a hero. | ||
| He goes to Hawaii everywhere. | ||
| He goes, BJ! BJ! He's awesome. | ||
| They love him. | ||
| It's very difficult for a guy that lives in silk sheets to get up and go to war every day. | ||
| That's the reality of life. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| And a really loved guy who also is supremely physically talented. | ||
| People don't know that BJ, you know, that nickname, the prodigy, it came because he won the world championships after three years of training in jiu-jitsu. | ||
| But I've heard other fighters like Eva Edwards and those guys tell me that They'd never seen anybody pick up a technique that quickly. | ||
| So when you're an MMA fighter, picking up a technique, whatever it might be, you've got to drill it. | ||
| It takes a long time. | ||
| Sometimes it can take up to a year or four months, five months. | ||
| That dude could see it twice and it was part of his repertoire. | ||
| Well, I don't want to say he was a natural fighter, but that was something that he had a lot of passion for and he was very focused about it and it came pretty quickly to him. | ||
| But there's a lot of other guys that have slowly dropped weight. | ||
| McVitor fought as heavy as 240 at one point in his career. | ||
| When he fought Randy Couture, I think he was like 240-something. | ||
| Yeah, his neck was so ridiculous. | ||
| And now he's much thinner now, man. | ||
| Now that he's off the TRT, he's really looking thin. | ||
| There's been a lot of people... | ||
| They've always said his frame was like 180. I mean, if you look at his hands and feet, they're not big. | ||
| No. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of people that think he can make welterweight, especially now that he's off TRT. 170. Yeah. | ||
| There's videos of him working out. | ||
| There's a recent video on his Instagram, and it went on the underground. | ||
| People were looking at it, and they're like, seriously, I'm not bullshitting. | ||
| I think he could be a welterweight. | ||
| When you look at some welterweights, like, okay, here's a perfect example. | ||
| Carlos Condit. | ||
| He's a big boy, you know? | ||
| Look at some of the guys. | ||
| Like, okay, Tyron Woodley. | ||
| Tyron Woodley is a big fucking guy. | ||
| He's thick as shit. | ||
| And he manages to get down to 170. Vitor doesn't look that big. | ||
| Not now. | ||
| What is Carlos Condit way, you think, on the offseason? | ||
| He's probably bordering in the 90s, like gets around 190, close to it. | ||
| 15 pounds, 20 pounds over the weight limit. | ||
| Handsome kid, too. | ||
| Good looking guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's recovering from knee surgery. | ||
| Tore his ACL against Woodley. | ||
| He's so damn good. | ||
| Carlos Condit is just so good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And talk about conditioning. | ||
| That dude will fight a five-round fighter. | ||
| I don't know if he had to fight a five-rounder. | ||
| Yes, he fought GSP as a five-round fight. | ||
| Yeah, and he just is going practically at the same pace. | ||
| Well, we were watching Rory McDonald knocked out Tarek Safedine this week, and we were watching the highlights of it. | ||
| My friend Robin Black, who also has been on the podcast, did a breakdown of it. | ||
| And he did an awesome breakdown of it and really highlighted some of the things that Rory did really well in that fight and things that Safedine did to try to throw Rory off that didn't work. | ||
| But Rory McDonald is another one at 170 that's fucking terrifying. | ||
| And interesting, interesting guy, man. | ||
| You know, was training with GSP for a long time, and then as they got further along in their career, it started getting the talk about, like, these guys might eventually fight. | ||
| Now that GSP's retired, and he's, like, one of the number one contenders now. | ||
| He's... | ||
| That was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen. | ||
| His ability to stand there with Safedine and beat him in his own game. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| It's just incredible. | ||
| I mean, you look at what Safedine, when Safedine fought Nate Marquardt, how well he did against Marquardt, and then see Rory pick him apart like that. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| Check the leg kicks, stay on the outside. | ||
| And delivering his own leg kicks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| And that jab and that, oh, just the way he knocked him down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're always a motherfucker. | ||
| It's such an exciting sport. | ||
| But another thing we were talking about in camp, it was really interesting, we were talking about the reality of these guys damaging themselves. | ||
| You know, Brian and I were at the airport yesterday in Seattle, and we were watching a football game. | ||
| And we don't particularly watch football that often, so we were watching it. | ||
| All I could see was these guys' heads colliding. | ||
| Those helmets colliding with each other. | ||
| And all I could think about was that recent NFL study that showed that 76% of deceased NFL players, 76 out of 79, had brain injuries. | ||
| Like, significant brain. | ||
| 76 out of 79 brains they studied had significant brain injury. | ||
| Significant brain damage. | ||
| Well, then you're starting to see it. | ||
| You see Tony Dorsett, and you see these guys trying to talk. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Joe Montana. | ||
| Yeah, he's having issues with his memory. | ||
| What's the fucking guy? | ||
| Yeah, Brett Favre is having real issues, right? | ||
| Well, Brett Favre never took a day off. | ||
| I mean, Brett Favre had the longest run. | ||
| I mean, he was the Iron Man. | ||
| I mean, he was fighting... | ||
| Knocked on his ass by the biggest, toughest guys. | ||
| Never broke a bone. | ||
| I mean, he was just the Superman. | ||
| Got addicted to painkillers, I believe, for a while. | ||
| That is no surprise. | ||
| I mean, that guy put himself through punishment like no football player I've ever seen. | ||
| Who's the guy from the Chicago Bears from the 80s? | ||
| Oh, Jim McMahon. | ||
| Jim McMahon's got some serious issues now. | ||
| And he talks about how sometimes he'll be in his house and have no idea what he was about to do or where he's going. | ||
| He just doesn't know what he's doing. | ||
| He's just standing there like, what am I doing? | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Yeah, and he was on a sports radio show and he was talking about it in depth. | ||
| It was a cover of Sports Illustrated. | ||
| Him and his issues. | ||
| It soured me to the game, I'll be honest with you. | ||
| I used to watch football all the time, and the more I learn, I'm like, I don't really want to watch, I don't know. | ||
| But what about MMA? Because, look, let's be realistic. | ||
| I feel like it's not as... | ||
| I feel like, and it's changing because of training, but I feel like the head trauma isn't as sustained... | ||
| It isn't like football or boxing. | ||
| Am I wrong? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah, no, it's... | ||
| Especially because so much emphasis is on stand-up these days. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, it used to be... | ||
| There was a recent interview with... | ||
| Dan Hardy. | ||
| And Dan Hardy was talking about, you know, Dan had a heart condition. | ||
| Not a real heart condition. | ||
| It's a very controversial situation where he's very fit and healthy, but he has like an extra heartbeat, something wolf condition. | ||
| I forget what it's called. | ||
| But he was talking about how when he was fighting, it was a lot of wrestlers that were dominating the 170-pound division, and now there's a lot of kickboxers. | ||
| Now you've got Rory McDonald. | ||
| Now you've got, you know, Robbie Lawler. | ||
| You've got a lot of strikers. | ||
| A lot of stand-up strikers. | ||
| Just hitting you with fucking bombs. | ||
| Well, guys who can wrestle and they can do all those things, but a lot of kickboxing techniques are starting to dominate these contests. | ||
| And when you're training a lot of kickboxing, you've got a lot of head injuries. | ||
| There's a lot of head trauma that's going on both in training and in fights. | ||
| It's always changing, too. | ||
| I mean, I've never seen the block that Rory McDonald was using. | ||
| That high elbow block? | ||
| Never seen that. | ||
| Very smart. | ||
| Well, it's very smart to avoid strikes to the head, especially if you know that a guy is throwing head punches. | ||
| And a lot of these guys, they're not throwing the type of really long-form combinations that you'll see high-level Muay Thai or high-level Dutch kickboxers throw. | ||
| They're throwing one or two techniques. | ||
| And a lot of it's because you're worried about takedowns. | ||
| What we're seeing is just an evolution of the game. | ||
| We're seeing the sport evolve. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I mean, I'm a huge fan, but it concerns me. | ||
| Brain damage is a very, very real thing, and there's no turning back. | ||
| That's what bugs me the most. | ||
| Could you put on bigger gloves? | ||
| No, that's not going to help. | ||
| That might even hurt, actually. | ||
| The solution might actually be no gloves. | ||
| That might be a better solution when it comes to head trauma because you can't hit as hard without breaking your hands. | ||
| You have to be much more selective in your punch placement. | ||
| You go out faster in a weird way, too, right? | ||
| Well, I don't know about that. | ||
| I think you probably go out harder and faster with the UFC gloves because they pad your knuckles so you can punch harder. | ||
| And also, you're supporting the wrist. | ||
| You're taping the wrist down. | ||
| I think, realistically, you shouldn't be able to tape your wrists. | ||
| You shouldn't be able to tape your hands. | ||
| And I think that would probably be one of the best ways to protect against head trauma. | ||
| Still, though, it's like, you know, you know as well as I do. | ||
| You put on headgear and you get hit. | ||
| Somebody's wearing boxing gloves. | ||
| You're sparring, you get hit. | ||
| You got headgear. | ||
| I wear a bar. | ||
| They call me a pussy. | ||
| I got a bar. | ||
| I get hit just in the top of the head. | ||
| I got a headache. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because my head got jammed back and my brain was, you know. | ||
| Yeah, and I was like, what am I doing? | ||
| Even Brennan Schaub was like, what are you doing? | ||
| You want to do this? | ||
| You're not a fighter. | ||
| You're an actor. | ||
| Why are you sparring? | ||
| I was like, I don't know. | ||
| Because you're an idiot. | ||
| I'm an idiot. | ||
| I want to just do this. | ||
| He's like, literally, when an MMA fighter and he's your friend comes up and goes, what are you doing? | ||
| You don't need to do this. | ||
| Maybe you should stop. | ||
| Oh, you mean I'm 47? | ||
| Yeah, okay. | ||
| Well, you should go see Brian Callen and see this idiot in action. | ||
| See, at his best, October 16, 17, and 18 at the Atlanta Improv. | ||
| Can't wait. | ||
| Yeah, it would be awesome. | ||
| Do you know who's working with you? | ||
| Leo Flowers, a really funny comic coming down to feature for me, and I'm excited. | ||
| Just go to bryancallen.com. | ||
| bryancallen.com. | ||
| I'm at the Tower Theater in Philadelphia October 17th with Ian Edwards and I'm at the Warner Theater October 18th with Ian Edwards in Washington, D.C. That's it. | ||
| Lots of podcasts this week. | ||
| I got Honey Honey Anthony Cumia is going to be here, and Keith Weber as well, the guy from the Kettlebell Cardio Workout that I talk about so much that I love. | ||
| He'll be here. | ||
| So, until then, enjoy your lives, my friends, and it's great to be back at Civilization. | ||
| Big kiss. | ||
| See you soon. |
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