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July 22, 2014 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:58:48
Joe Rogan Experience #526 - Isaac Haxton
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isaac haxton
01:16:54
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joe rogan
01:33:33
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unbox therapy
01:00
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00:20
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joe rogan
Why...
Hello, ladies and gentlemen.
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unidentified
Burt Kreischer's Life of the Party was pretty good.
joe rogan
What a great suggestion!
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I hate it, it's gross.
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And that, ladies and gentlemen, concludes the commercial aspect of this podcast.
Now, we are going to talk to Isaac, a.k.a.
unidentified
Ike Haxton, super wizard poker player.
joe rogan
Strap yourself in, ladies and gentlemen.
unidentified
The Joe Rogan Experience.
isaac haxton
Train by day!
unidentified
Joe Rogan Podcast by night!
All day!
joe rogan
Alright!
Isaac Haxton, a.k.a.
Ike.
We're going to go with Ike.
isaac haxton
Ike is good.
joe rogan
Is that what your friends call you?
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
I want to be your friend.
isaac haxton
All right.
joe rogan
Let's go with Ike.
Let's go with Ike.
One of the things, you are a big-time poker player, travel all over the world, and there's a lot of people on my message board that are big poker fans and very excited to have you on the podcast.
One of the things they asked me to differentiate, because I bring this up all the time, That a lot of poker players are gamblers.
And a lot of poker players are kind of degenerate gamblers.
But poker is not really a gambling thing.
It's more of a game of intelligence and a game of information and a game of strategy.
Is that true?
isaac haxton
Yeah, well, it's gambling in the sense that on any given day, you win or lose money.
If you're playing for high stakes, you win or lose a bunch of money.
But it's not gambling in the sense that...
It's outside of your control.
It's not like going to the roulette wheel and saying, I'm in a red sort of mood.
Let's bet on red and see what happens.
So it's gambling in the sense that there's money at stake.
It's not gambling in the sense that you are submitting yourself to chance and just seeing what happens.
joe rogan
How did you get involved with, well, first of all, you're, what are you, 28 years old?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
28 years old, and you are a world-traveling poker player.
I mean, that is, first of all, awesome.
I love it.
Congratulations.
isaac haxton
It's been a lot of fun.
joe rogan
I'm sure.
Congratulations on really being able to craft that kind of a life, because I think that's excellent.
It's really cool.
So, how did you get started, and how did you make this leap to becoming this, you know, internationally known professional?
isaac haxton
Well, I've been sort of an obsessed game player my entire life.
I started playing chess when I was four.
I started playing pretty seriously in tournaments when I was like six.
Played chess pretty seriously from six to maybe thirteen or so.
I was never really great at chess.
Probably my greatest accomplishment as a chess player is 8th place in the New York State 3rd grade and under tournament.
So I played chess seriously for a while.
Around 13, I reached this point in my chess career where it got really boring, where I was just really solidly the second best player in the county.
And every time I'd go to a chess tournament, I knew what was going to happen.
I was going to beat all these kids I was a lot better than.
I was going to play this dude, Nick, in the final, and I was going to lose.
joe rogan
Why would Nick beat you?
isaac haxton
It was better than me.
He studied harder and he had a sharper chess mind than me.
Something that I never really got past in chess was that it's really easy to make one small mistake and end the game.
And poker is a little more forgiving of slight oversights.
Like in chess, You think through a move, it looks pretty good, you make the move, and then right after you made the move, oh fuck, bishop takes knight and I lose.
And poker is not quite the same.
In poker, you make a comparable blunder, And you bet the river and you think this is a pretty good bet.
You're going to beat a bit more than half the hands that call you.
And then you think, oh shit, actually he can also have played King Jack of Spades this way.
This was a slightly bad bet rather than a slightly good bet.
And it doesn't end your tournament to have made a slightly wrong play in poker the same way it does in chess.
So I think my brain is set up...
It's better to be an extremely good poker player than an extremely good chess player.
joe rogan
Would it be a relevant analogy to say that playing poker is more of a game where you restart every time, whereas chess is like a sword fight.
You get one chance to not get stabbed.
If you get your arm cut off, you're gonna die.
isaac haxton
Yeah, that is actually a pretty good analogy.
joe rogan
So when you play poker, are you the type of guy, like, when you, like, read a person and you have an idea that you have a big advantage, will you then take a big chance?
Will you then gamble?
Or are you a conservative, calculated sort of a guy?
unidentified
Um...
joe rogan
You don't want to give up your hand.
He doesn't want to tell people how he thinks.
I see what he's doing.
I see what you're doing.
You're playing chess right now.
You're going back and forth.
unidentified
Hmm, I should maybe shut the fuck up.
isaac haxton
No, I'd say I'm more in the former category.
I mean...
joe rogan
So you're more of a gambler guy.
isaac haxton
In poker, you have to make the best of the edges that you're given.
You...
Aren't presented with constant unlimited opportunities to get an advantage, so when you are presented with one, yeah, you have to...
joe rogan
So there's a certain amount of courage that's involved in playing the game of poker.
It's not something that you chip away at necessarily.
It's something that when the opportunity presents itself and you believe that you have it, do you have like a green light that goes off in your head or do you have an instinct that you sort of rely on?
isaac haxton
In terms of like the risk management part of what you're talking about, a lot of that is actually...
process of making decisions within a hand so like in terms of risk management a lot of that is like managing the stakes you play relative to how much money you have so if i'm playing a cash game and it's a game where you buy in for five thousand dollars that's a game where losing one hand for the maximum amount isn't going to ruin
my life isn't going to have a big impact on anything.
So in that context, I can go ahead and risk the full $5,000 that's in front of me on a half a percent edge because that's how you make money playing poker.
You identify an edge and you exploit it.
So, in terms of, like, courage and risk management, the, like, risk management thing comes in before you're actually playing a hand.
And then, in the course of playing a hand, you have already made decisions that put you in a position to be comfortable taking the maximum amount of risk that you could be confronted with after that point.
Is what I'm saying making sense there?
joe rogan
Yes, totally makes sense.
So, you're more inclined to take a big chance if you're betting a small amount of money.
That's what you're saying.
A small amount of money going in.
Now, when you go...
What's, like, the biggest buy-in that you've ever had to play?
isaac haxton
For a tournament, it would be a million dollar buy-in.
unidentified
Oh!
Jesus, Louisa!
Wow!
joe rogan
So, when you do that, I see you're sponsored by PokerStars.net.
Does PokerStars pay for a portion of that?
Do they give you a piece of the action?
isaac haxton
How does that work?
PokerStars does not.
But what I... Well, part of my contract with PokerStars does involve getting a certain amount of money per year that is earmarked toward buying into poker tournaments.
But they're not like...
It's not explicitly staking me in the poker tournaments.
It's just my compensation for representing the company.
joe rogan
So your compensation is essentially up to your management discretion.
isaac haxton
So when I play something like a million dollar buy-in poker tournament, what I do is I take on investors who are typically other professional poker players and they buy shares of me in the tournament.
They put up a fraction of the buy-in and if I win, they get a fraction of the winnings.
joe rogan
Oh, that's fascinating.
So you guys kind of back each other?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Hmm.
So if you go into a poker tournament and there's maybe 20 guys, it's conceivable that you and the guy you're playing against in the finals have a piece of each other?
isaac haxton
Yeah.
That happens somewhat often.
joe rogan
That's a big thing in the world of pool.
But pool, they do it in billiards, professional pool, because they don't make as much money.
So they kind of make a saver, that's what you call it.
So say if you and I were to play in the finals and it was a major pool tournament, It depends on the agreement, but we might make a 50-50 or 60-40 split.
So we would play our best, but you would know that no matter what worst case scenario, even if you lost, you were going to get 40% of the purse.
isaac haxton
Right.
The same thing also happens in poker tournaments, in addition to what I was describing where people sell action before the tournament starts.
There are also often deals made toward the end of the tournament.
So I was recently playing a tournament in Las Vegas, and when we got down to three players left, it was me and two other guys who I think are also really strong poker players.
And we agreed that rather than play it out, we are going to just divide up the remaining prize money according to how many chips each of us have and call it a day.
joe rogan
Wow.
Does that bother people?
Is there an ethical quandary involved in that?
isaac haxton
I would say there's a vocal minority of people who are bothered by that, and that most people are not bothered by it at all.
That's something you see happen everywhere from the very highest stakes tournaments in the world to a weekly $20 tournament that...
At some point, people will agree to a chop.
It can be a partial chop where they just take out some of the money, like the saver sort of thing you were talking about, or it can be a complete chop where they just split up the prize pool and call it a day.
joe rogan
But the vocal minority, what is their argument?
Like, what do they say?
They say, you guys are ruining it.
This is like, poker's supposed to be about gambling and chance, and that's where the excitement comes in.
isaac haxton
That, or it's supposed to be a pure competition.
It's not supposed to be about this deal-making.
It's supposed to be, you go in, you compete, the best or luckiest player wins, and that's the guy who gets all the money.
joe rogan
Now, the vocal minority, are they the spectators?
Are they the actual players themselves?
Are they the commentators?
isaac haxton
More often, it's the spectators and the media than the people who are actually in there playing on a day-to-day basis.
joe rogan
Same thing with billiards.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's interesting.
So the spectators feel like it's not as exciting for them?
Is that the idea?
unidentified
Mm-hmm.
joe rogan
Hmm.
So they want to see one guy win a million bucks and one guy win dog shit.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
I mean, that's understandable, right?
joe rogan
I guess.
Yeah, I guess.
Yeah, I don't know, man.
I mean, I think I'm too close to stuff like this to see it objectively because I'm friends with so many pool players and because I don't, you know...
I think people should be compensated.
I hate the idea of a winner-take-all thing.
Right.
There was a big pool tournament called the Tournament of Champions, and every year the winner gets a good pool.
I think it's like 50 grand.
It's not much for poker.
But everybody else gets dog shit.
isaac haxton
So of course people do this.
They chop it up.
joe rogan
Yeah, they definitely chop it up.
So the people that are the commentators and the spectators, like, you say, a vocal minority, is it only a small percentage of the commentators and spectators?
isaac haxton
It's hard to tell, because the people who don't object aren't saying anything about it, but I would guess, yeah, it's only a small percentage.
joe rogan
Now, there's no rules against it, though, right?
It's not like something you guys have to do on the sneak tip.
isaac haxton
There are some tournament venues that won't enforce the chop, which means at the majority of tournament venues, you say to the tournament director, we've agreed to this chop, pay each of us this amount of money.
At a minority of venues, you can't do that.
You say that, the tournament director says, I don't want to hear it, you have to play the tournament out.
joe rogan
And then you do it on your own.
isaac haxton
And then you have to do it on your own, and then you have to trust the other people at the final table to honor the agreement and turn around and hand you the cash right after the tournament.
joe rogan
Has anybody ever not honored that agreement?
Very rare.
isaac haxton
Very rare.
I can't think of a circumstance where it was like a handshake deal chop at the final table and then somebody just didn't pay.
joe rogan
That would be a disastrous thing for that person.
isaac haxton
There have been a handful of cases where somebody has made a backing deal and then refused to pay out their backer.
joe rogan
Whoa.
isaac haxton
There was a really high profile one with the guy who won the World Series of Poker main event several years ago.
Jamie Gold got taken to court by a guy who claimed to have a backing arrangement with him and had like voicemails saying, yeah, I'm giving you this amount of money for 50% of your winnings.
And then after the fact, Jamie Gold's like, nope.
joe rogan
Why did he say that?
isaac haxton
I don't know.
He was a pretty weird guy.
joe rogan
Was?
unidentified
Is he dead?
isaac haxton
No, still is.
He's a pretty weird guy who I have considerably less exposure to lately because he has more or less moved on from the poker world.
joe rogan
Well, Jesus Christ, he won the World Series of Poker.
isaac haxton
Won the World Series of Poker main event, had a big dispute with a guy who claimed to be entitled to a big share of his winnings.
joe rogan
And then just faded out of poker because of that?
isaac haxton
Not because of that.
Lost back a lot of what he'd won playing in tournaments and cash games, and...
joe rogan
Just decided, fuck this game.
isaac haxton
Pretty much, yeah.
joe rogan
How do you get to...
I just would imagine that if you got so good that you win the World Series of Poker, that's like a very profitable way to...
To spend your time.
isaac haxton
Well, that's the thing, is that not everyone who wins the World Series of Poker main event is an excellent poker player.
joe rogan
Really?
isaac haxton
It's one tournament on the order of 6,000 players, and the best player in the tournament is maybe 10 times as likely to win it as the worst player in the tournament, but it's one tournament.
joe rogan
So, it's possible that a middling tournament player can win the World Series of Poker?
isaac haxton
Happens all the time.
unidentified
Wow!
joe rogan
I never knew that.
isaac haxton
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
That's crazy.
See, that never happens in pool.
No.
Yeah, you're not going to beat, like, Earl Strickland in the finals if you suck.
That's so crazy.
isaac haxton
And that's why you can play poker for high stakes, and it's pretty hard to find a high stakes pool game without some careful handicapping.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Wow.
I never knew that.
That's fascinating.
I always felt like the guy who won was the best guy, or there's like a handful of best guys, and they swap positions, and it's about who's focusing more.
isaac haxton
No, I mean...
This year, a guy made the World Series of Poker final table for two years in a row.
That hasn't happened in about ten years.
joe rogan
Oh, that's interesting.
I need to pay attention more to this poker shit.
Now, what about gambling in Vegas?
Do they put a line on who's going to win?
isaac haxton
Yeah, you can make bets on the outcome of the tournament, but they only...
Whereas for, like...
A football game, if the Giants are playing the Falcons, you can bet the money line and you can get 2-1 on the Giants if they're the underdog, or lay 2-1 and take the Falcons.
For poker tournaments, the bookmakers are not that confident that they know the right prices, and they only put up one side.
If you want to bet on one guy to win the tournament...
They'll give you a price, but it's a really bad price, and you're going to lose making that bet, and you can't take the other side.
Betting on the outcome of poker tournaments is a pretty small market.
joe rogan
Yeah, because that's another thing they tried with Poole, but they took...
The one time they did it in Vegas, they had this big tournament, and this one guy, Mike LeBron, who's an excellent player, but was like the 40-to-1 underdog.
So they all dumped to Mike LeBron, and they all bet on Mike LeBron, and Mike LeBron wound up winning the whole tournament.
unidentified
I can't.
joe rogan
And then, you know, of course, Vegas is like, alright, you fucking short-sighted assholes, we're done.
isaac haxton
Right.
joe rogan
You know, oh, the 40-1 guy won, and everybody's missing balls they should never fucking miss, and it was just so ugly.
isaac haxton
Yeah, that, I mean, that's a potential issue any time you're betting on the outcome of a sporting event that it could be fixed.
joe rogan
Especially a sporting event where the players don't make so much money.
isaac haxton
That's the thing.
When you get to the small market stuff like pool where the players aren't making a lot and you can bet more on the outcome of the tournament than the tournament itself is worth, that's obviously creating a bad situation.
joe rogan
So if World Series of Poker comes along and Vegas puts up a line, I could bet on you to win the whole thing.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
But that's basically it.
I couldn't bet on you against individual players and individual games or...
isaac haxton
Right.
who will be in the tournament longer, me or Phil Ivey, that type of thing.
unidentified
Right.
isaac haxton
But betting on the outcome of poker tournaments is real small.
If you wanted to bet, they'd probably let you bet maybe a couple hundred dollars.
joe rogan
Now, a lot of these poker players...
Oh, you couldn't bet, like, 50 grand or something crazy.
Now, a lot of these poker players are, like, serious, crazy gamblers.
Like, they'll gamble on golf and they don't even play golf.
Like, they'll do shit like that.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
Like, a million dollars on a game of golf.
Who's, like, the nuttiest when it comes to that stuff?
unidentified
Um...
isaac haxton
That's a good question.
joe rogan
Phil Ivey does a lot of nutty shit with that, right?
isaac haxton
Phil Ivey comes to mind, but the thing with him is he's a real sharp guy when it comes to betting on stuff.
He is not as crazy as he'd want you to think.
With golf, for example, he started playing higher and higher stakes golf with people, and...
Was losing.
Everybody's like, Phil's terrible.
We all gotta gamble on golf with Phil.
joe rogan
He was dumping.
isaac haxton
He wasn't dumping.
He was legitimately bad.
But then what he did was he went and got coached by Tiger Woods' coach and got really fucking good and came back and played for huge stakes against a couple of guys and smashed them.
And just midway through the round, they're like, this is bullshit.
What's going on?
When did Phil get good?
joe rogan
So how did he do it on the sneak tip?
Did he put, like, a mask on and fucking...
I mean, everybody knows what Phil Ivey looks like if you're a pool player, or poker player, rather.
isaac haxton
What would he need to be sneaky about?
joe rogan
Like, where he practiced.
isaac haxton
Oh, yeah.
I mean, I guess he, like...
Took a vacation to Hawaii or something.
joe rogan
Oh, okay.
See, wouldn't it take more than, like, one vacation?
Must be a really sharp dude.
isaac haxton
I mean, like, a month-long plan every day.
joe rogan
Yeah.
And then came back and kicked some...
See, I don't...
The golf thing is so bizarre to me.
I would think there's so many variables involved in golf.
That, like, the courses themselves are variable, the wind is variable, there's so much going on, like, figuring out where the ball lies, and then trying to figure out the rolls of the hill, and all that jazz, and trying to get, I mean...
isaac haxton
Yeah, it seems pretty damn complicated.
I haven't played in a really long time, but...
joe rogan
Yeah, the mechanics of it seem very difficult to learn, and I understand that coaching could help that, but even just the variables.
When a guy like Tiger Woods was just dominating everybody, winning like crazy, it defied my imagination, because I was always like, how could this one guy figure out this weird game Where there's so many variables, so much better than everybody else.
What could it possibly be?
Is it feel?
Is it touch?
What is it that's allowing him to see the rolls of the hills?
And then how does it all go away with one divorce?
isaac haxton
That's the really crazy part.
joe rogan
That's the craziest of the crazy.
isaac haxton
I read this study on hedge fund managers that by far the most predictive variable of the performance of a hedge fund is whether or not the manager is currently going through a divorce.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
Because then your life just goes into a turmoil.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
Or, if your wife's a cunt, you get out of that divorce and you're just fucking free and your thoughts are clear.
It really just depends, right?
Depends on whether or not it's a good divorce, whether or not you want it.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
I mean, even if you want it, I bet it's still a pretty big disruption.
joe rogan
Depends, man.
I've seen both sides.
I've seen horrible, horrible divorces where the guy's just destroyed.
And usually it's financial.
The financial stress of divorce is...
Really, for a person who's never been through it or never seen someone go through it, it's like you're being attacked by aliens that you can't see and they're stealing money from you.
And just like every second of every day, thousands of dollars are leaving your bank account and you're watching yourself go broke.
You're watching years of your life, all the work you put in.
I had a good friend that I've talked about on the podcast before, but not only did he get divorced, but his wife calculated and planned it where she went to every good defense attorney or every good divorce attorney in town and consulted with them before she decided but his wife calculated and planned it where she went to every good So that when the husband found out that she was divorcing him, he couldn't get a good attorney because they had already talked to her.
So it was some sort of a conflict of interest.
isaac haxton
Pretty diabolical.
joe rogan
She's as diabolical as it gets.
Not only did she do that, but because they were together for so long, he had to pay for her attorney because she didn't work.
And he has to pay her for essentially the rest of her life because they were married for more than 12 years.
California has some wacky laws.
So the only way it'll be different is if she remarries, which of course she never would because she would lose her sweet paycheck that she gets every month.
I watched this guy, like, age 10 years?
In two years he'd probably age 10 and just was pulling his fucking hair out and going crazy and it was never over.
I was like, are you out yet?
Is it over yet?
He's like, no, no, no, no.
She's renegotiating.
She's changing the term.
And she was doing it because he had to pay for her lawyer as well.
So she just dragged it out as long as possible.
She dragged it out for almost two years.
This poor guy got destroyed.
So for him, yeah, I wouldn't bet on him playing golf.
That guy would be fucking knocking balls into the treetops and screaming and attacking birds with his clubs.
It's devastating for people.
And women want to know why guys don't get divorced.
Maybe they know somebody like that.
Or Tiger Woods.
Poor bastard.
Not really though, right?
He's still fine.
isaac haxton
Yeah, I think he'll make it.
joe rogan
Yeah, he'll make it.
He's not Tiger Woods anymore.
How many golf tournaments has he won since the divorce?
isaac haxton
I don't really follow golf, but I don't think it's many.
joe rogan
Wow, it's so weird.
Do you follow Jamie?
unidentified
Yeah, he's won a few.
isaac haxton
He's recently coming back from an injury right now.
I just saw something the other day.
jamie vernon
They say he's got about 10 years left in his career to catch Jack Nicholson.
joe rogan
How do you get an injury playing golf?
isaac haxton
I mean, there's a lot of torque in that swing.
I can see you throwing out your back.
joe rogan
Fucking pussies.
Jesus Christ.
You're playing golf.
isaac haxton
I would surely get injured playing golf.
I'd just hit myself with the club.
joe rogan
Well, if you knew what you were doing, I bet you wouldn't.
So, you're 28 years old.
How long have you been a professional poker player?
isaac haxton
I've been playing seriously and making money at it about 10 years, filing taxes as a professional gambler since I was 18. Wow.
I was in school and only sort of playing part-time for the first few of those years, so 6 to 10 years, depending how you count.
joe rogan
So you were doing it through college?
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
And at one point in time when you were in college and you were in the middle of some stupid course you didn't really give a fuck about, were you like, you know what, I think I could be a goddamn professional poker player?
isaac haxton
Definitely.
joe rogan
That's what it was?
isaac haxton
Second semester of my junior year.
Poker was going great.
School was not.
I was studying computer science, which at one point I was pretty good at.
I thought, this is the thing for me.
I'm gonna get my undergrad degree in computer science.
I'm gonna go to grad school, do some more computer science and become a professor, work in research, something like that.
I thought that was my career.
Second semester of my junior year, this thing started happening to me where I'd go to the computer lab and sit down to do a project and an hour would go by and I'd just still be staring at a blank screen.
joe rogan
Wow.
isaac haxton
I just hit a wall.
I couldn't do it anymore.
joe rogan
Wow, what was that?
isaac haxton
I don't know exactly.
I think it was some subconscious part of my brain realizing ahead of the more conscious and willful part that this was not what I wanted to do long term.
joe rogan
That's fascinating.
So you had a passion for it at one point in time, or at least an interest in it.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
And was it just that the passion, the interest for poker sort of overcame it?
That it became an option?
isaac haxton
I think that was probably only a small part of it.
I think that even if I hadn't found poker and decided to make a career of that, that I would have made myself get through undergrad computer science and somewhere around grad school or early into a career doing that, I would have realized it wasn't doing it for me.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's something that some kids do when they're young and they're starting to try to pick a career.
They look at something that they think they can do.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
And then once they start doing it, they go, this is not what I want to do, though.
isaac haxton
Well, shit, you're 18, you get to school and they tell you, pick a major.
joe rogan
Yeah, how crazy is that?
isaac haxton
And, like, I took an econ class, a math class, a computer science class, and a cognitive science class my first semester of college.
I was like, I really don't like the math class.
The econ's kind of boring.
I don't really think there's a career for me in cognitive science.
I guess I'm a computer scientist now.
joe rogan
But it's not what you were drawn to.
isaac haxton
I mean, I liked it.
I thought it was interesting.
Some of the classes more than others.
I liked the theory and math side of it better than I liked spending 12 hours in the computer lab banging out code.
joe rogan
Isn't it so weird that we expect kids at 18 years of age to be able to pick their future?
To be able to pick a direction for their future?
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's just so bizarre.
I can't imagine...
Going through that again.
You know, for me, I took a year off when I got out of high school, and then I went to UMass Boston for three years, but I completely half-assed it.
Like, I just was doing it because I didn't want to be a loser.
So I was going to school with no idea whatsoever how I was ever going to fit into any traditional work environment.
And all the while, I had a sort of a career because I was teaching martial arts and I was teaching it at a high level.
I was teaching it in Boston University and I had my own school and everything like that.
I was still going to school and I was like, what the fuck am I doing?
But at least I had some things that I was interested in.
But I had friends that were going to school and they were like, well, I'm going to be an electrical engineer.
I'm like, is that what you want to do?
You know, I don't know.
isaac haxton
I'm okay at it.
joe rogan
It's good money.
You can make good money.
I'm like, okay.
isaac haxton
You can probably get a job.
joe rogan
Yeah, but that life is a weird life, man.
That's the life that the majority of people do.
The majority of people do this life where they start doing something because it's a job that they can do.
Fuck, man.
That's terrifying to me.
isaac haxton
Yeah, it's a sad, scary thought.
joe rogan
For a guy like you.
So that's why when I hear about a guy like you, I go, yes!
Someone escaped.
Yes!
I fucking love when I meet another comedian.
I love when I meet a guy who makes a living as a musician.
I love when I meet a writer.
Absolutely.
I love people that have figured out a way to stay out of that fucking trap.
That weird trap of just doing something because you can do it.
And people who are doing something because they can do it and they're listening to this, I'm not criticizing you.
I easily could have been you.
Easily.
No one's better than you.
I'm just celebrating you.
You, Ike.
You did it.
You figured it out.
isaac haxton
There's a lot of luck involved in a lot of different ways.
joe rogan
There's a lot of luck involved in being American.
There's a lot of luck involved in having good motor skills that you can walk and you don't have a disease and you don't have fucking cancer.
Your eyes work.
There's a lot of luck involved in a lot of different things.
So no doubt about it.
And there's definitely a lot of luck in finding a path, picking a path, and then figuring out that this is something you can actually do.
And that's when the courage and then the determination come in.
Once there's an opening, to just run.
Run through that door.
So when you were 18 and you started making money doing poker and then you realized that school was kind of whack, what did your parents think about that?
isaac haxton
Well, the way that played out was, like I said, second semester of my junior year, I failed most of my classes after straight A's for five semesters.
joe rogan
Did your parents suspect drugs?
isaac haxton
No, I don't think that was...
joe rogan
That's what I was expecting.
I'll give you a little piss test.
Come here, you little freak.
What the fuck are you doing?
All that college tuition.
unidentified
Come here, son!
joe rogan
Piss in this cup.
What did they think?
Your board?
isaac haxton
Yeah, board.
I think that they were a little skeptical of the computer science thing all along, that...
I just seemed to sort of pick something out of a hat and go for it, and it was not a huge surprise to them that I was getting sick of it.
And then...
By coincidence, over the following summer, some legal rumbling started in Washington that maybe it's time to crack down on online gambling.
And a bill called the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act got passed or was due to get passed that fall.
And...
I started thinking, shit, online poker might be going away.
I gotta get all the money while I can.
And I called up the school.
This was like late August.
I'm like about to go back to school.
And I called up the university and said, uh, I maybe want to take next year off.
What happens if I do?
Is there any penalty?
Can I come back the following year?
No issue?
And they said, yeah, it's fine.
You've got like one more week to let us know.
I said, okay, I'll call you back in a bit.
I called up my parents.
I was like, I'm pretty sure I want to take the year off and just play poker full time.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
And what did they say?
isaac haxton
And they said, why?
And I explained the UIGEA thing and the...
Getting sick of computer science thing.
And my mom said, how much money do you think you can make if you take a year off and play poker full time?
I was like, my goal would be about a million dollars.
joe rogan
Whoa.
isaac haxton
And she said, that sounds good.
I think you should do that.
joe rogan
Yeah, you gotta go high.
You can't get...
I hope to make about 30 grand the first year, but yeah.
A million bucks is a good call.
People like hearing that their kid made a million bucks.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
Go for it, son.
And you were only 18, right?
isaac haxton
No, I was about 21. 21?
Yeah, I'd been doing it for three years already.
I'd made a few hundred thousand bucks already by that point.
It wasn't an out-of-thin-air guess.
It was like, I'm gonna be playing these stakes this many hours a week.
I beat these games for this much.
It was like a realistic target for me.
joe rogan
Wow.
Now, what is the difference between a successful online poker player and a non-successful when it was legal?
Because obviously now it's a big fucking mess, right?
You could legally gamble if you're a resident of Nevada online.
Isn't that the case?
isaac haxton
The legal situation in the U.S. and worldwide is pretty complicated.
The really weird thing is that No laws actually changed.
How the government felt like enforcing them changed.
When the law is talking about, the UIGEA passed, I didn't know this at the time I was making the decision to take the year off, but the final language of the bill says nothing about what unlawful internet gambling is.
It assumes that that's something that...
Somebody else already knows and provides for enforcement against the banking and credit card transactions that facilitate illegal online gambling.
It's in no way clear what illegal online gambling in the US is.
joe rogan
What?
That sounds so crazy.
isaac haxton
There are no federal laws about online gambling other than this anti-illegal online gambling enforcement act.
Online gambling is...
Treated as illegal by the Department of Justice on the basis of a law from the 60s called the Wire Act that says you can't play sports bets over Telegram.
Really?
joe rogan
A fucking Telegram?
A fucking Telegram?
Oh my god, how about smoke signals?
Is that legal still?
Jesus Christ.
isaac haxton
And they're like, that's basically like playing poker on the internet.
joe rogan
Wow, that is so crazy.
So they decided that that's playing poker on the internet.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
Wow.
Gambling on sports through a telegraph.
That's so loopy.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
And was this like sponsored by the casinos or something like that?
Is that how it got weaseled through?
unidentified
The Wire Act or the UIGEA? No, the UIGEA, whatever it is.
joe rogan
Them cracking down on it.
Had to be, right?
isaac haxton
Probably.
It's hard to tell.
The casino lobby is really fucking powerful in America.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
I can imagine.
A lot of goddamn money involved.
isaac haxton
A lot of money involved.
Donate a lot of money to both political parties.
joe rogan
Yeah.
isaac haxton
And...
joe rogan
And then, of course, the unions, I'm sure, as well, right?
The unions, I'm sure, as well.
isaac haxton
Yeah, the...
joe rogan
It's like, for instance...
isaac haxton
There are...
I don't actually know what union represents casino workers, but I think it's one of the bigger, like, food service sort of ones and is a big deal.
joe rogan
Yeah, I would imagine that they would do it just to sort of strengthen their position as job holders, because, like...
The UFC has a big issue with the Culinary Union.
isaac haxton
Yeah, I think that's who has a lot of the casino jobs as well.
I'm not sure.
joe rogan
I'm sure.
Well, that's what they're trying to do.
The reason why the UFC has an issue with the Culinary Union is because Zufa, the company that owns the UFC, also owns station casinos.
So there's this huge push to try to get them to turn their casinos into union casinos.
So they're keeping the UFC out of New York that way, like paying off politicians.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
It's fascinating.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's fascinating because it's so old school and so transparent, like the corruption.
So, I mean, New York State, the actual people themselves would benefit tremendously if they allowed mixed martial arts.
isaac haxton
Sure.
joe rogan
They also have boxing already there, which is more dangerous.
I mean, it's all proven.
And they still, for whatever reason, have been able to bribe these politicians transparently.
isaac haxton
Yeah, all that shit is just a power struggle over the money, it seems like.
joe rogan
Yeah, so they just try to keep online poker.
isaac haxton
For online gambling, it was the same thing.
The casino lobby in the US has gone through a few stages in what they think about online gambling.
At first, they just ignored it, didn't give a shit.
That's not a real thing.
Nobody's gonna gamble on the internet.
Who cares?
And then around about 2005, 2006, they started saying, oh no, this is unethical.
We can't let people gamble from their homes.
They need to drive to their local casino and gamble, because that's where we make money.
joe rogan
And that's where we serve liquor, so we can be sure that they're fucked up when they're gambling.
isaac haxton
And think of the children.
If you're playing online, it could be anybody, which, of course, is...
Wrong in both directions.
For one thing, people gamble underage in casinos all the time.
For the other, the identity verification stuff for online gambling is probably stricter than for live gambling.
Anyhow.
joe rogan
That's pretty interesting, is it?
I didn't know that.
So what's the online thing?
What do you use?
Do you have to show a photo of your credit card?
Your driver's license, rather?
isaac haxton
It varies from site to site and ramps up if there's more money involved.
joe rogan
How would they know it's you and not just someone who has the information?
Like, if you're a 16-year-old kid, you grab your dad's information and just start entering it in.
isaac haxton
You need more than a credit card.
What do you need?
It depends on the site, but, like...
Copy of photo ID. Utility bill.
You might need to answer a phone call on a landline associated with the address you claim to claim from.
joe rogan
Yes, this is Mr. Hexton.
My son Ike.
Why, Ike is not the one who's making this gamble.
It's me.
My name's George.
unidentified
I'm 50. You're basing my voice, son.
isaac haxton
Yeah, obviously you can get around anything, but...
joe rogan
Yeah, making an online...
I mean, making a phone call, that seems like so fucking old school.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's such a weird way to verify, isn't it?
isaac haxton
I mean, it's one layer of a whole bunch of different shit that they do to...
If it's on a landline, it demonstrates that you are physically in the place you're claiming to be.
joe rogan
Right.
Okay.
That makes sense, I guess.
But it seems like anybody could just be on the phone.
Unless you're FaceTiming.
unidentified
Yeah.
isaac haxton
I mean, that's why it's only one aspect of it.
joe rogan
Then you just have to hire a makeup artist to fucking doody up like your dad.
That internet gambling thing though, it was a big crackdown because I remember it.
I remember at one point in time you used to be able to gamble on sports online.
unidentified
Oh yeah.
joe rogan
Guys used to play poker for money online.
It was really common.
And there was even some websites that were, I'm sure they're still around, Bodog.
Are they still around?
unidentified
Yeah.
isaac haxton
Bodog in the U.S. has become Bovada and still exists.
joe rogan
What is Bovada?
isaac haxton
Bovada is the entity that they spun off of the main Bodog corporate entities because operating online gambling in the U.S. is so risky that they have basically set up their corporate fall guy of Bovada, which is what gets fucked.
When inevitably continuing to take bets from the U.S. eventually goes poorly.
joe rogan
Oh, I see.
So they're just kind of like setting up a straw house to blow down when the shit gets...
But they're, meanwhile, taking money out of the straw house and putting it in this big stone mansion somewhere that's under a different name.
isaac haxton
And yeah, Bodog, I shouldn't say any of this too confidently.
I haven't been paying close attention to it, but I think Bodog...
joe rogan
Welcome to what we do on the podcast every day.
isaac haxton
LAUGHTER I think Bodog is continuing to operate around the world as Bodog and is Bovada only for its U.S. facing operations.
joe rogan
Oh, okay.
That makes sense.
That Calvin Iyer guy, he can't even come into the America.
Into North America.
isaac haxton
Yeah, there are a bunch of people in the online gambling industry who that's true of.
joe rogan
They just live in Costa Rica now or something?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's so crazy.
It's so weird that that's what gets you locked up.
And what is it?
Are they saying they're not paying taxes?
Why would they not want revenue?
See, it doesn't make any sense to me.
If people are willing to gamble, and then they'll pay taxes on those gambling debts, or gambling profits, or whatever it was, or even losses.
It seems like if the company wins money, or if the person wins money, taxes are going to be paid.
It seems like that should be pretty easy to...
isaac haxton
Well, so, to go back to what I was saying about the stages that the casino lobby has gone through in their attitude on online gambling, around 2005-2006, they decided, okay, this is bad.
We need to shut it down.
joe rogan
Were they losing money?
isaac haxton
They thought they were.
They weren't.
joe rogan
They weren't.
isaac haxton
I mean, this is my opinion here.
I think that casinos saw online gambling...
As competition when it wasn't, that online gambling and casino gambling are not the same product.
If I'm the type of person who either likes to go play blackjack at my local casino or likes to play slots on the internet, I don't...
play less blackjack at my casino because I could play slots on the internet.
They're not the same experience.
You don't get the same things out of them.
If anything, the availability of online gambling was feeding casinos new customers because people would play a little online and say, this seems fun.
I kind of understand this now.
Maybe I'll give gambling at the casino a try.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's how I would look at it.
isaac haxton
Especially with respect to poker as opposed to other sorts of gambling.
Going into a casino to play poker having never done it before is a little bit intimidating.
You don't really know how it works and you're surrounded by people who do.
And the ability to get a little experience playing online is...
In a lower pressure environment, I think, introduces people to the game who then go on to play in live casinos as well.
joe rogan
Now, when you go to a live casino, how many people are like me, that don't know how to play poker at all, but are still trying to play poker?
Do people get liquored up and just wander into the poker room and go, let's fucking give this a shot?
isaac haxton
Every once in a while and more at lower stakes than at higher stakes, obviously.
joe rogan
Obviously.
isaac haxton
At high stakes, it's pretty rare to see somebody who has never really played poker before.
joe rogan
But it happens?
isaac haxton
It happens.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
What is that like when you see some fucking fish?
Some big fish that comes in.
What do you call them?
Whales?
Is that what you guys call them?
isaac haxton
Fish, whales.
joe rogan
That's what they call them in pool.
isaac haxton
Yeah, same terminology in poker.
joe rogan
So they come in and a lot of money, don't know what the fuck they're doing, and everybody slowly starts circling them.
isaac haxton
Yep.
There's a long wait list to play at the table that guy's at.
If there's not a seat available, he walks in, he says, I want to play, everybody looks up.
That guy looks rich and we don't know him.
This game can become ten-handed now.
Pull up a chair.
joe rogan
So when you don't know a guy, so the world of poker, essentially you know all the elite players.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
There's no one who can sneak up on you.
isaac haxton
I mean, there are probably a few people.
There are probably a handful of guys who mostly play online, turn up at a casino, and I wouldn't recognize them, but they're among the best players in the world.
But for the most part, yeah, I recognize most of the top players.
joe rogan
My friend Ari Shafir, who's a stand-up comedian, great guy, funny, hilarious motherfucker, but very smart.
And when he was struggling as a stand-up comedian, he was playing poker tournaments.
And he was making more money playing in casinos, playing poker, than he was doing stand-up.
isaac haxton
Yeah, I've heard Ari talk about that before.
joe rogan
Yeah, I mean, he's making a living doing poker.
And I always found that incredibly fascinating, that he was doing that, that he was just going from place to place and playing poker.
And he said he could kind of tell.
He could kind of tell when people knew what the fuck they were doing and when people were just assholes.
isaac haxton
Instantly.
I mean...
joe rogan
But does anybody ever hustle?
Like the way they do in pool, they pretend to suck and then they rope you in and...
isaac haxton
Yeah, some.
It's more common, I'd say, at the mid stakes than at the highest stakes, just because the world's too small to get away with it much at the highest stakes.
joe rogan
Yeah, the highest stakes, how many guys are there in the world that are just elite?
isaac haxton
Dozens to hundreds, depending on how you're counting it, I guess.
unidentified
Hmm.
joe rogan
So hundreds, maybe.
isaac haxton
Maybe.
joe rogan
But out of those hundreds, you're aware of all of them, you think?
Pretty much?
And if you're not, other people are?
isaac haxton
The overwhelming majority.
If I'm not, it's because they're playing in games that don't have a lot of intersect with the games I'm playing in.
joe rogan
What about places like Macau?
I mean, that's obviously a huge gambling spot.
isaac haxton
Macau is really interesting.
I've played a couple of tournaments in Macau.
I've never played in a cash game in Macau.
Though I have played in-cash games with Macau guys a few times.
joe rogan
The UFC did some shows in Macau.
isaac haxton
Yeah, I know.
joe rogan
And there's been some boxing out there, and I think they're doing another UFC out there.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
But they said that it's just like Vegas times 100. They said it's madness, like the amount of gambling and craziness and the majesty of it all.
isaac haxton
Yeah, it's real crazy.
joe rogan
Where is that exactly?
isaac haxton
It's right next to Hong Kong.
It's like a one-hour ferry ride from Hong Kong.
joe rogan
And how long has this been around?
isaac haxton
Macau?
I want to say maybe 15 years, maybe less.
joe rogan
That's so crazy!
isaac haxton
I think it's gotten huge in less than the last 10. How does something like that happen?
joe rogan
How does something way bigger than Vegas just sprout out of China?
isaac haxton
China says you can gamble here, and the millions of Chinese millionaires say, that sounds like a good idea.
Let's go gamble here.
joe rogan
And then you're just a building.
isaac haxton
And there it is.
joe rogan
What is it like, like, as far as, like, the buildings and as far as, like, the atmosphere?
isaac haxton
It looks like Bizarro Vegas.
It's creepy.
I lived in Vegas for three years.
So I go there and, oh, that's the win.
And it looks exactly like the win, only it's on exactly the opposite side of the world and everyone's Chinese.
joe rogan
Whoa, so they call it the Wynn?
unidentified
Yeah.
isaac haxton
Yeah, there's the Wynn, the Venetian...
joe rogan
But are they rip-offs, or is it the actual Wynn?
isaac haxton
No, no, it's owned by the same people.
joe rogan
Oh, okay.
Because you know how China does, they do wacky shit like that.
They'll build, like, a fake Paris.
Like, it's really strange how their laws are over there, as far as what they can get away with.
isaac haxton
Isn't there, like, a fake Eiffel Tower in Shanghai, or something like that?
joe rogan
Not only is there a fake Eiffel Tower, it's just, like, fake entire towns, like, European villages, towns, like, down to the brick...
They look exactly like them.
There was this story that was on one of the major websites.
I forget what it was.
I think it was Vice, actually.
They detailed all these different towns that have been constructed in China that were exact replicas of famous Swiss Alps towns and stuff like that.
Really weird.
isaac haxton
China's fucking weird.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
Ari just got back from China, too, and he's talking about how crazy it was there.
He told us about gutter oil.
Did you hear about gutter oil?
isaac haxton
I think I heard about it on the podcast.
And I was like, that can't be real.
joe rogan
And yes, it is.
isaac haxton
I've eaten a lot of delicious food in Hong Kong.
unidentified
You've eaten a lot of delicious poop.
isaac haxton
Might not be as bad in Hong Kong as mainland.
joe rogan
Maybe.
I don't know.
So Macau has all the major players, like the Wynn and the Venetian and all that jazz.
isaac haxton
And a bunch of...
There's like a Hard Rock.
The tournament I played there was at the Hard Rock Macau.
joe rogan
And does everyone speak English there?
isaac haxton
No.
joe rogan
What about the hookers?
Speak English?
isaac haxton
I didn't talk to any.
joe rogan
Good answer.
isaac haxton
I bet there's certainly a market for it.
joe rogan
Oh yeah, you think?
isaac haxton
I would guess that market forces force some hookers to speak English in Macau.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, my friend who went there said you couldn't get away from them.
They're just swarming you.
They're like flies.
He said it was like mosquitoes in a hot summer day in the Northeast.
He said it was crazy, like how many hookers there were.
But it makes sense.
I mean, a lot of people gambling, a lot of money, a lot of celebration, a lot of victims, a lot of drunks.
isaac haxton
Yep.
joe rogan
I just can't believe that something like that can just explode.
I never even heard of Macau until maybe two or three years ago.
I remember peripherally reading about it online, something like that, and then I heard about boxing matches being held there.
isaac haxton
Yeah, I basically didn't know anything about it until poker took off there maybe four or five years ago.
joe rogan
So you're 18 years old, you start playing poker, you're 21 years old, you tell your parents, you know what, fuck it, I'm going to give it a go.
I'm going to try to make a million dollars in the first year.
How much did you actually want to make in that first year?
unidentified
Um...
isaac haxton
1.6?
joe rogan
Kapow!
Jesus goddamn, son!
unidentified
Whoa!
isaac haxton
A couple months after I said that, I played in one of my first ever big live tournaments and finished second for like $850,000, so I got a bit of a head start.
joe rogan
Wow.
Jesus Christ.
So everyone's happy at the Haxton household.
isaac haxton
Yes.
Yeah, they were okay with my plan.
joe rogan
So then from there, do you just go guns blazing?
isaac haxton
I went back and I finished school.
I only had a year left.
joe rogan
Damn!
You went a million six and went back in school.
I would have told school to suck my dick.
I would have called them up.
Fuck you and fuck computers.
isaac haxton
That was 80% what I did.
I went back and I decided to get a degree in philosophy.
I figured out that there was a particular track within the philosophy department called Philosophy of Science and Logic.
That I could count some of the classes I'd already done toward, and it was like five bullshit classes away from a degree in philosophy.
I was like, alright, I can do that.
I'll get my college degree before I have to be the creepy old guy who's back on campus in ten years when poker's done.
I'll be happy I have a degree.
joe rogan
Why did you think you were planning on failing?
You thought it was possible that it could all go away?
isaac haxton
I thought it was possible it could all go away.
I thought it was possible it could get too hard.
I thought that maybe I'm really good relative to my competition now, but who knows about in 10 years.
You know, it's like competing in a sport.
At some point, you're older than the other people.
You're not as sharp as them.
They're hungrier than you are, and you can't keep up.
joe rogan
We talked about in the ads, I was talking about AlphaBrain, but there's a bunch of cognitive enhancing things that people take.
I know some folks take Adderall and some folks take NuVigil or ProVigil, like these different cognitive enhancing smart drugs.
Do you guys fuck with those things?
isaac haxton
Poker players in general?
Yeah, absolutely.
joe rogan
What is the most common stuff?
isaac haxton
I mean, caffeine has to be number one.
There are waitresses walking around serving coffee at poker tournaments.
unidentified
Really?
Yeah.
isaac haxton
And water and booze if you want it.
joe rogan
How many guys get liquored up while they're playing?
Seems like a bad move, right?
isaac haxton
In terms of high-level competition, the biggest tournaments, essentially nobody.
Cash games in a casino on any given night, it's reasonably common.
joe rogan
Right.
So, what do most guys take besides...
isaac haxton
There are plenty of people who take Adderall or Ritalin.
joe rogan
Ritalin?
That's a speed, too, right?
isaac haxton
Yeah, yeah.
It's another one of the anti-ADHD sort of things.
Right.
Provigil is not unheard of.
I fucked with that a little bit in college for studying and found that I just didn't really like it very much.
joe rogan
I want to send you some Alphabrain.
See if you like it.
isaac haxton
A bunch of my friends use Alphabrain.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's a good one.
Another good one is there's stuff called Neuro One.
Have you ever heard of Neuro One?
isaac haxton
I've heard you talk about it before.
joe rogan
It's Bill Romanowski stuff.
It's really good as well.
There's a bunch of companies that are selling these cognitive enhancing formulas now, especially now that AlphaBrain has become really popular.
It's become super popular to sell these blends.
There's different things like paracetam and choline.
There's all these different things that have been shown to have positive effects on cognitive function.
isaac haxton
A friend of mine at a tournament a couple months ago gave me something called Smart Caffeine, which is just caffeine and L-theanine.
I thought that was awesome.
I've been taking some L-theanine recently.
joe rogan
Do you press them?
You ever mess with that stuff?
isaac haxton
I haven't.
I've heard good things.
A few of my friends use it.
joe rogan
I like it.
isaac haxton
One of my closest friends in poker is JC Alvarado, who I think you know a bit.
joe rogan
Yeah, he's on my website.
I've met him a bunch of times.
Cool guy.
isaac haxton
Yeah, he's an awesome guy.
joe rogan
Great things to say about you.
He said that you were probably the best heads-up player, one-on-one player in the world.
What do you think about that, fella?
isaac haxton
There are...
I'm definitely in the running, I mean...
joe rogan
So what is the difference between playing heads-up and playing, like, you know, a large tournament?
Like, 30, 40 people?
unidentified
Well...
joe rogan
Besides the obvious.
Like, what's the strategic difference?
Like, how you approach it?
unidentified
It's...
isaac haxton
simpler.
Um...
Which doesn't necessarily mean it's easier.
It means it's easier to get really in-depth in how you're analyzing it, and the same situations come up over and over again, because it's only two players.
And if there are nine players at the table, that's nine different people who can do something different every hand, and similar situations don't come up nearly as often.
Whereas when I'm playing Heads Up, Two hours into playing a guy, I can be in the spot where I'm on the button, he's in the big blind, I raise, he calls, flop comes down, he checks, I check, turn comes down, he bets, I call, river comes down, he checks, it's on me.
This exact situation, not the boards that have run out, but the betting action, that situation has come up already 20 times in the match that we're playing, and...
I can have a pretty clear idea of in this exact spot, this guy traps a little bit more than my average opponent.
He's going to take this line with a strong hand more than some other people will, so I can't bluff him as effectively, or I can't make a value bet with quite as weak a hand as I would against some other players, and Heads Up Poker is more amenable to that sort of detailed analysis Of how your opponent is playing.
joe rogan
By the way, I understood maybe 10 things out of 20 that you said.
I don't even think 10. Button, blind, flop, all that.
River, all that's poker talk.
isaac haxton
Yeah, poker jargon.
joe rogan
So how much of it, like this expression, this is a big one, the...
The big one is a poker face.
Having a poker face.
How much of that is real?
Do you read a guy or do you worry?
isaac haxton
In live poker?
Yeah, absolutely.
joe rogan
Totally.
isaac haxton
Yeah, it's a huge factor.
joe rogan
So if we're looking at each other right now and we're playing, what are you looking for?
isaac haxton
Do you feel it?
joe rogan
Do you sense it?
isaac haxton
Absolutely, you do sense it.
There's just a gut thing that happens, for sure.
You just look at somebody and he just doesn't look that comfortable, or he does look comfortable, and...
Often there's just a general sort of feel you get from somebody that is difficult to put words to, but that the top players aren't confident when they get those gut feelings and go with them.
But there are specific things you can look for, too.
Like, you can...
Sort of baseline reading on people's posture, like look at them sitting at the table when they're not playing a hand.
And then having done that, you can...
Observe shifts from that.
Like, somebody will...
I'm bumping into the mic here, but somebody will get up closer to the table when they're interested and invested in the situation.
Or you can even see somebody make, like, a micro gesture of recoiling in frustration when a bad card hits the board or you make a bet that they don't like.
And you can see little movements like that.
You can read somebody's pulse in their neck.
unidentified
What?
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
So you see...
So you're staring at someone's neck.
In that sense, it'd be good to be a fatso, right?
isaac haxton
Yeah.
A bunch of people wear scarves while they play so that you can't...
joe rogan
What?
unidentified
That's crazy.
isaac haxton
All the top German guys now are wearing scarves while they play because...
joe rogan
Fucking Germans!
isaac haxton
No joke.
joe rogan
That's so crazy.
So you look at a guy's pulse in his neck and what are you looking for?
The amounts of beats?
See if you can see how fast it's going?
isaac haxton
Yeah, you can see it going faster or like the blood pressure raising when they're really tense.
joe rogan
Wow, that's crazy.
I never would have thought that.
isaac haxton
Or how deep someone is breathing.
You can watch the rise and fall of their chest.
Wow.
One thing people do is people tend to be a lot more still and tight when they're nervous and move around a little more and are more relaxed.
When they're comfortable, and so when somebody is trying to just keep it together and put their poker face on, look the same way they always look, but they're actually really comfortable because they've got a great hand and they're about to win.
joe rogan
Wow.
isaac haxton
You can sometimes see their leg will start pumping.
They'll start tapping their foot real fast.
They'll be keeping everything above the table still, but their leg will start going real fast.
joe rogan
Wow.
Now what about someone faking all that stuff?
isaac haxton
That happens all the time.
joe rogan
Does it?
isaac haxton
Oh yeah.
joe rogan
Like in what way?
isaac haxton
Any of those things.
Now that I've just said I look at people's legs while they're playing, I'm going to be playing against somebody in a couple weeks and he's going to be bluffing me on the river and he's going to start tapping his foot because I've just said that that's something I'm looking for for evidence that they're strong.
joe rogan
So when you see someone...
unidentified
Or like...
joe rogan
I'm sorry.
isaac haxton
A thing I used to do sometimes, I feel like I can't get away with it as much now because people know who I am and expect me to be pulling some bullshit and in control of my physical stuff.
But something I would do is I would sit like this while playing in general.
joe rogan
With a hand on your face?
isaac haxton
And when I wanted to fake being nervous, I'd lean into it.
LAUGHTER And you can see my cheek go a little white where my knuckles are making contact with my face.
joe rogan
And that would make you look more nervous?
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
Do you practice this stuff in front of a mirror?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
I mean, why not?
If you can make $1.6 million your first year, I'd practice a lot of goofy shit, too.
isaac haxton
Fake tells can be real subtle.
joe rogan
What about guys who play with sunglasses on?
Is that super common?
isaac haxton
It's very common.
Tells from your eyes are...
It's a factor, but it's not one of the biggest ones because you're used to people looking you in the eyes.
You're practiced at lying with your eyes.
You know people are looking at your eyes.
joe rogan
Isn't that an eagle song?
You can't hide your lying eyes.
isaac haxton
Sounds like an eagle song.
joe rogan
I believe it is.
So the glass is not a huge factor.
isaac haxton
Not a huge factor.
joe rogan
What's the biggest one?
The lips?
The neck?
isaac haxton
Hands, general posture, legs and feet even.
People are not on top of that one.
joe rogan
How many times have you been faked out by fake tells?
isaac haxton
It's hard to tell.
You don't necessarily know it was a fake afterwards because sometimes it's not fake and you're just wrong.
joe rogan
You're wrong with your hand, you mean?
isaac haxton
No, you're...
The tell is genuine, but you interpret it incorrectly.
Somebody's not actively faking you out.
But, like, none of this is an exact science.
Like, I see somebody's pulse go up.
I know for sure their pulse is up and that they're feeling something intense right now.
joe rogan
It could be that they have a flush.
isaac haxton
It could be that they're really excited about their great hand, or it could be that they're really stressed about the big bluff they're making.
joe rogan
Ah, right, right, right.
So you know something's going on.
isaac haxton
So, yeah, you get these physical signs, but there's not a direct path from that to knowing exactly what they have.
joe rogan
Do you believe in psychic energy?
Do you believe that you can read something from a person, other than just tells?
isaac haxton
That's a tough one to answer.
When you use the phrase psychic energy, I'm inclined to say no, because that sounds kind of magical and crazy, but...
I definitely believe that there is very subtle, nonverbal communication that happens between people that is sometimes involuntary, that you just...
You know things about what's going through the mind of somebody you're sitting next to, and it's hard to tell exactly how and why you know.
I mean, I think that's...
joe rogan
Give an example.
In what sense?
isaac haxton
I mean, whether at the poker table or in any other context, when you're...
You are reading people's moods and thoughts all the time.
You can tell when somebody is feeling relaxed and happy.
You can tell when they're stressed out.
You can tell when they're Focused and thinking hard, or when they're spacing out?
joe rogan
Right, that all makes sense.
Like, you just interpret regular human movement, communication, behavior patterns, and such.
But I would say that one of the best sort of pieces of evidence that being a psychic doesn't exist is that there's no psychics that just become poker players and start fucking cleaning up.
isaac haxton
Yeah, I mean, clearly there's nobody who can just sit across the table from you and read your mind every time accurately.
joe rogan
Yeah, because I would think that if there were really psychics, that would be the place where it would show up as poker, right?
isaac haxton
Sure, or, I mean, any of a number of other places where you could make a killing or otherwise be very successful and powerful based on that ability.
I mean...
joe rogan
Yeah, there'd be a lot of them.
Stock market would be a good one, playing the lottery, obviously.
isaac haxton
Well, that's getting into predicting the future versus reading minds, which, I mean, I don't think anybody's doing either of those things, but reading minds seems marginally more plausible than predicting the future.
joe rogan
Yeah, right?
That's a different kind of...
But reading the future is kind of interpreted as psychic, right?
Isn't it?
isaac haxton
Yeah, I mean...
joe rogan
In some way?
isaac haxton
They're similarly crazy powers that some people claim to have.
joe rogan
Does, like, socially, does that, like...
It seems to me that, like, the ability to read tells and the ability to be so tuned into it because it's part of the game of poker, does that carry over to social communication?
Like, do you notice things more in the way people, like...
We all know when someone's a bullshitter, right?
We all know when someone bullshits you and tells you sorry that's like a little fucking screwy.
I mean, we kind of have this weird sense just based on the data that we've accumulated over a lifetime's worth of communicating with people that something's off here.
And also, if you've communicated with a bunch of bullshitters, you kind of recognize it.
So we feel like being a good poker player makes you a better social reader as well?
isaac haxton
I think so.
I think...
Probably not by a giant margin, but yeah, I think I'm probably a bit above average at that.
I think I have a more studied and self-aware approach to it than a lot of other people do.
I think I may have started from a baseline of being a bit below average at that kind of thing.
Where somebody might say, that story felt kind of bullshit.
I'm more likely to say, well, he said I think and equivocated on a couple of things where that's not a way you would talk about it if you weren't full of shit.
His eyes were darting around a lot.
joe rogan
So you would look at it in an analytical sense instead of just basing just on your instincts.
You would use both, your instincts and analytical.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, there's something.
One of the main things that I'm fascinated with with poker is the ability to read minds.
Or read tells, rather.
The ability to sort of get this sense of where a person's going with things.
Get this sense.
I think that's fascinating because I know that that exists in real life.
I know it does.
I know it exists.
Like, that thing exists with human beings.
I just don't know exactly what it is.
I've always wondered.
I've always wondered what exactly is going on when people are looking at each other.
You know something's off.
Yeah.
Just a sense.
There's a perfect story.
I've told this before, but my friend Brian Callen, he's a great guy, but he used to date some of the craziest fucking people of all time.
He's had a bunch of crazy people in his life, too.
And I would hang out with him, and he would have this guy over, and I'd be like, what do you do?
This guy's a fucking bullshit artist.
He couldn't see it.
For whatever reason, just couldn't see it.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
And he introduced me to this girl...
Within five seconds.
He goes, hey, this is blah, blah, blah.
This is my friend Joe.
I go, how you doing?
And she goes, oh, hi.
I go, come here, Brian.
I pull him aside.
I go, she's fucking crazy.
I go, get out right now.
Whatever you're doing.
He goes, no, she's not crazy.
She's nervous to be around you.
I go, dude, trust me.
I have a spidey sense for real crazy.
I go, that girl's fucking crazy.
Turns out, of course he didn't listen, moves her in, blah, blah, blah.
Turns out she's on meth.
Completely out of her fucking mind.
Is a prostitute.
Has these Johns in her life and fucking pimps in her life.
And then he gets rid of her.
And then years later, he's at a bar on Sunset and about to walk in.
And she walks by and she's streetwalking.
isaac haxton
Geez.
joe rogan
Yeah.
I spotted it like that.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
He didn't spot it at all.
Fascinating.
He would be a suck-ass poker player.
I don't think I'd be a good poker player.
I don't have the patience.
It's just not something I'm interested in.
But if I was interested in, I wonder if I'd be able to pick up tells.
I find that so fascinating.
isaac haxton
I feel like with all the experience in martial arts, you would have a leg up on learning that stuff.
I mean, picking up tells has some in common with looking at somebody's stance and picking up that they're about to throw a kick.
joe rogan
Hmm, that's interesting because looking at someone's stance and whether or not they're gonna throw a kick is based on data You know like like sometimes I'll say like during a broadcast like he's about to throw a left high kick and someone will go how you know and Because there's a very small but perceptible rise in his heel like his heel came up off the back foot and Which means usually that a guy's trying to get a little bit of a head start throwing a kick with his back leg.
And you just...
You see it because so many guys have thrown kicks at you.
Or because you've tried to hide it on people when you've thrown kicks at people.
You know, there's a thing that you see.
But it's...
There's...
There was a book on this.
And it's not about martial arts, but it's about just acquiring...
Massive amounts of data about very specific things and then being able to see these things coming.
I forget the term that they used, but it was just about that, about how for a person who doesn't have this data in their mind, it seems like, how's this guy seeing this?
But for someone who has all that data, it's like, oh, there it is.
isaac haxton
Yeah, it's exactly the same thing with picking up tells in poker, because just thousands of times, I've sat across the table from a guy, I've looked at him, I've thought about whether or not I think this guy has a good hand, and then I've put out my call, and he shows me his hand, and I've just been through that routine thousands of times, and so now I find myself in that spot, and the guy's bet, and I'm looking at him and thinking about whether or not to call, and...
I have a big sample of what people look like right before I call them, and then whether or not they show me the winning hand.
joe rogan
So a guy like Doyle Brunson, who's been around for a hundred years, he would be a wizard at that shit, right?
isaac haxton
I would guess so, yeah.
joe rogan
That's really interesting, man.
That's really interesting.
That guy should teach tells, right?
If you're that old, you've been around for that...
How long has that guy been playing?
isaac haxton
A long time.
joe rogan
50, 60 years or something?
isaac haxton
50 years.
More like 60, yeah.
joe rogan
60 years.
isaac haxton
Dude's in his 80s, I'm pretty sure.
joe rogan
That's amazing, man.
All those years of accumulating that data.
isaac haxton
And a guy like that has really been around for the transformation of poker, too.
It was a real different thing back in the 60s.
joe rogan
Yeah, it was like you'd go over people's houses, right?
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
That was all it was.
Did they have it in casinos back then?
isaac haxton
I want to say the 60s was when poker in casinos began picking up.
joe rogan
The 60s?
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
What led to this poker revolution that we find now?
I mean, fucking everybody plays poker now.
isaac haxton
Yeah, there were a few stages of it.
The earlier parts, like what happened in the 60s and 70s, I know less about.
But they started running the World Series of Poker in Vegas in the 60s.
And have every year for...
I guess World Series started in 69, I think.
So they've run it every year for 40-some years now.
joe rogan
Well, the big one on television was when they started showing those cameras for television of the cards.
isaac haxton
Being able to see people's hands.
joe rogan
That was huge.
isaac haxton
That was huge in making it spectators.
joe rogan
Making it exciting.
Even for a guy like me who doesn't play.
If I'm sitting at a bar and I look up and there's a poker thing on, you see each guy's hand.
That's, to me, it's very exciting.
isaac haxton
Yeah, that was a huge leap forward.
They had tried televising poker tournaments before that, but it's, especially to a casual viewer, a lot less interesting.
joe rogan
But you see less of it, at least for the non-involved observer like myself, you see less of it on television now.
isaac haxton
In the U.S. In the U.S. It hasn't fallen off nearly the same way in other places, and the reason behind that is that In order to make a profitable TV show, you have to sell advertising space.
If you're making a poker TV show, who do you want to sell advertising space to?
Online poker sites.
Online poker sites can't advertise in the U.S. anymore.
joe rogan
Motherfuckers.
isaac haxton
So in Canada or England or France, poker on TV is still huge.
joe rogan
So in Canada it's legal to bet online?
isaac haxton
It is ambiguous.
joe rogan
Ambiguous.
isaac haxton
In most of the world, it's ambiguous.
joe rogan
It would seem like if you were a poker player and you live in America, you just moved to Vancouver.
You play online in Vancouver, travel down to America, give up U.S. citizenship.
isaac haxton
Giving up U.S. citizenship and getting citizenship somewhere else is a lot tougher than you might guess.
joe rogan
Yeah, I would imagine.
isaac haxton
In 2011, when it became clear I was going to have to leave the U.S. to keep playing poker online...
I was very startled that I can't just go wherever I want and set up shop and stay there indefinitely.
joe rogan
So you live in Malta now?
Is that your move?
isaac haxton
Mostly.
I can only spend about half the year there for visa reasons, so I spend about half the year in Malta and do a lot of traveling around to other places as well.
joe rogan
You fucking pimp.
Look at you.
Kid goes from...
Hating school, trying to figure out, gets the love of his parents, fucking bolts, makes 1.6 a year the first year, and then from there on, when you got your degree, and then you decided to just dedicate yourself to being a professional poker player, how many years was it until you kind of had to make this move out of the United States?
isaac haxton
Three.
I graduated in 2008, moved to Vegas, and lived in Vegas from 2008 to 2011, and then moved to Malta.
joe rogan
What was living in Vegas like?
isaac haxton
It was pretty great.
I lived in Panorama Towers.
You spend a lot of time in Vegas, you might know it.
It's the apartment complex next door to Vanderlei's Gym.
joe rogan
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I know where that is.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
Nice spot.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
And it was just full of poker players.
joe rogan
Oh, really?
So it was like a big poker player party.
isaac haxton
Some friends of mine from college moved out there with me at the same time.
I had two friends from college who...
One still is a professional poker player.
One was for a couple years and went to law school.
They moved out to Vegas with me.
My girlfriend then, who's now my wife, came out with me.
And then I met a bunch of poker players who were already living out there.
And Panorama Towers in 2008-2009 was just insanity.
The whole building was just poker players and strippers.
And empty apartments.
unidentified
Wow!
joe rogan
What a party that must have been.
Poker players and strippers.
How'd that work out?
Must have been a lot of money being exchanged in those towers.
Allegedly.
isaac haxton
Allegedly.
I don't know any details of that sort of thing.
joe rogan
Good for you.
Stay on the straight and narrow, son.
Avoid the divorce that fucking traps hedge fund managers and sends them to their doom.
So you live in Vegas.
You're doing the poker thing in Vegas.
isaac haxton
In Vegas, but mainly online.
joe rogan
Mainly online, still.
Why is that?
Is it more profitable?
Easier?
isaac haxton
More profitable for me at that time, given my personal skill set and inclinations.
There's money to be made doing both.
The advantages with online poker are you can get a lot more hands an hour in.
You don't have any of the cost or wasted time associated with going somewhere to play.
There's not...
The drive to get there and the drive back and the time spent waiting for a seat in a game.
Playing live poker, live cash games, involves a lot of waiting around for your turn to get to play in the game.
joe rogan
Yeah, I would imagine.
isaac haxton
And then once you get in the game, you play 30 hands an hour.
Online, I'm playing 300 or 400 hands an hour, and that's not even particularly high volume.
joe rogan
Are you playing more than one game at a time online?
Oh, I see.
So you run multiple computers?
isaac haxton
No, you can...
It's just multiple windows on one computer.
joe rogan
Okay, so there's different sites.
isaac haxton
No, you can play multiple tables on one site.
joe rogan
Really?
unidentified
Yeah, yeah.
isaac haxton
You're not doing anything sneaky or bad by playing multiple tables.
joe rogan
Now, when you have a thing on sites, do you have a time limit?
Yeah.
isaac haxton
Yeah, pretty short.
Something like 15 seconds, and then after 15 seconds, it goes into your time bank, which is like another minute worth of time, but that is not constantly replenished.
So, like, you use 30 seconds of your time bank now, you've only got 30 seconds left for the next hand if you were to go into your time bank again.
So, yeah, you have to play quite quickly.
joe rogan
That seems like, yeah, like, why would anybody go anywhere if you could play it online like that?
isaac haxton
The games are tougher online, because you can get so many more hands in, the best players are winning so much, that the competition to be the best player in the game online is stiffer.
Whereas live...
It's more fun for many recreational players, people who are losing at poker.
Not all of them, many, prefer to play in a live game where they can see and hang out with the people.
joe rogan
When you're playing online, do you have to worry about bots, or is that nothing anymore?
That was something that people really worried about for a while.
isaac haxton
It's a concern for sure.
The biggest and best sites, I think, are doing a pretty good job at enforcing against it.
You can do various things to detect when it's a bot rather than a human playing and shut it down.
joe rogan
How do you do that?
Do they run programs or something like that?
isaac haxton
The site has various data to work with based on what you're giving them.
They're not scanning your computer to see what other programs you're running or anything like that.
They're not invading your privacy in that way.
But what they can do is they can keep track of your mouse movement Around the screen and the speed and timing that you're clicking on things and they can detect the difference between a human moving a mouse around the screen like a human and a computer program that just jumps from button to button and acts instantly.
So, at this point, if you're running a bot that plays for you, part of your challenge is that you have to code up software to move the mouse around the screen in a convincingly human-like fashion and evade this detection.
They track your...
Playing hours, if you're just regularly playing for 48 hours straight, that's pretty suspicious.
Right.
joe rogan
Unless they get a nice fucking webcam video of you doing crank sitting in front of your computer.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
Occasionally it comes to that sort of thing.
Like, a guy I know was playing 60 tables at once, and they're like, that's...
You're a bot.
A person can't do that.
And so he uploaded a video of him doing that.
And he's like, no, I fucking can.
This is what it looks like.
joe rogan
What does he have, like a bank of screens in front of him?
isaac haxton
No, I think it was just all on one screen, all the tables stacked on top of each other so that whichever table you have to act on pops to the top.
and you just click and it goes to the side and the next one you have to act on pops to the top.
unidentified
And he's just pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.
joe rogan
Oh my God.
isaac haxton
He was a competitive StarCraft player before he came to poker, so he was just, like, sick at speed clicking.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, and multitasking.
Those StarCraft players, it's amazing.
You watch that.
isaac haxton
That's insane.
joe rogan
I don't know what they're doing, so it's even more amazing to me.
isaac haxton
Yeah, same.
joe rogan
Duncan.
isaac haxton
Every now and then I watch those videos, and it's nuts.
joe rogan
Duncan's obsessed with that shit.
He was a silver whatever the fuck that is.
On Starcraft for a while, and then he lost his silver standing.
He's very, very upset.
He's very embarrassed.
But I would watch him get obsessed with that stuff, and he would watch the videos, and his eyes would light up, and his pupils would dilate.
isaac haxton
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
Those videos are insane.
And it's a huge spectator sport in Korea, right?
isaac haxton
Yeah, it is.
Huge.
There's, like, TV stations devoted to just that, I'm pretty sure.
unidentified
Yeah, I need to talk to one of those pro StarCraft dudes.
joe rogan
Apparently, it's a very, very, very difficult game, too, that is, in a lot of ways, very chess-like in that sense.
It's very strategic.
isaac haxton
But also, like...
Almost athletic in the sort of speed-clicking demands.
joe rogan
Well, 3D games are very athletic in that sense.
The hand-eye coordination that are involved in playing games like Unreal or Quake or Doom or any of those crazy fast twitch games.
isaac haxton
There are quite a few competitive gamers who transitioned to poker and are now professional poker players.
joe rogan
But imagine that people that just have this inclination towards figuring things out in a game sense, they would have that towards a lot of things.
isaac haxton
Absolutely.
Yeah, poker's full of people who were in some other game or sport before poker.
joe rogan
The pool thing is huge.
A lot of pool players go into poker because they can actually make money doing it as opposed to pool.
It's very difficult to do.
So when you live in Vegas for a little bit, hanging out with strippers and poker players and strippers and poker players, so you decide how do you go with Malta?
isaac haxton
It's a weird story, actually, how I ended up in Malta.
Originally, it had a lot to do with...
joe rogan
Where is Malta?
isaac haxton
It's like right next to Sicily.
joe rogan
Oh, wow.
isaac haxton
It's like a couple hours on the ferry to Sicily.
joe rogan
Hmm, okay.
That's where my grandparents are from.
isaac haxton
Oh, cool.
Malta's real nearby.
I drink a lot of Sicilian wine and need a lot of Sicilian pizza there.
unidentified
I bet, man.
joe rogan
The food there is supposed to be sensational.
The seafood is supposed to be amazing.
isaac haxton
The local red king prawns in Malta are some of the most delicious things I've ever eaten.
joe rogan
Wow, okay.
So what makes you live there?
Is it a tax thing?
Is it a gambling thing?
isaac haxton
A residency thing.
joe rogan
It's easy?
isaac haxton
It looked like it was going to be when I started looking into it at the time.
It was basically just, you need to pay some relatively small fees for the process.
You need to fill in a bunch of paperwork, mainly stuff like...
Demonstrating that you have enough money to support yourself, that you haven't been convicted of any crimes in the country you're coming from, basic stuff like that, and they will give you a permit to stay there as long as you like.
joe rogan
So do you speak Spanish or Italian?
We have to speak there.
isaac haxton
In Malta, they speak Malti and English.
joe rogan
Malti.
And what is Malti?
isaac haxton
It is a Semitic language, so like closest to Arabic.
joe rogan
Jesus Christ.
isaac haxton
But it's written in like Roman characters, like the alphabet you're used to.
joe rogan
Oh, okay.
Not like Roman numerals.
isaac haxton
No, not Roman numerals.
joe rogan
I'm thinking like V's instead of U's.
isaac haxton
No, the alphabet we use for English and French and Spanish and Italian.
joe rogan
Wow, but it's a Semitic language.
isaac haxton
But it's a Semitic language, so it's just full of X's and Q's and G and H's that you can't pronounce at all.
I needed to go to the post office to pick up a package that had been sent to me, and I don't have a car there, so I need to take a taxi.
So I get the address of the post office, I write it down, it's in a town...
I thought it was called Cormi.
It's spelled Q-O-R-M-I. I get in the taxi.
I say, I need to go to the post office in Cormi.
The guy looks at me like I've just told him I need to go to the post office on the moon.
He's never heard of Cormi.
It's not a big island.
There are like 500,000 people there.
You can drive from one end to the other in an hour.
I say it again.
I show it to him on the piece of paper.
He says, Oh, Ormi!
Yes, we can go to Ormi.
unidentified
It starts with a silent Q. A silent Q. Q would have guessed.
joe rogan
Silent cues?
Why use it?
How weird.
What a strange thing.
That whole part of the world is so bizarre because it's sort of the echoes of the conqueror movements of thousands of years ago.
isaac haxton
Oh, yeah, and you can really see it in Malta.
I mean, it's been conquered by so many people over the years.
Obviously, the language is...
Semitic because at one point it was under Moorish or Arabic control.
joe rogan
Which is why that scene from True Romance with the Moors in Sicily.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
With, you know, where it's saying that, yeah, it's a racist scene for all the black people.
I mean, that's the reason why so many Sicilians have dark skin and curly hair.
isaac haxton
Maltese people look roughly like Lebanese people or something.
Wow.
They're pretty dark skinned.
They speak a language that sounds a lot like Arabic with an Italian accent, basically.
joe rogan
So did you do a lot of research before you decided on Malta?
isaac haxton
Medium amount.
joe rogan
Did you know anybody living there already?
isaac haxton
I knew a few people who had been there.
joe rogan
So you just fucking moved to some strange island?
isaac haxton
Well, what happened was the Department of Justice cracked down on the poker sites happened in April 2011, and a few weeks went by.
We're thinking, maybe this will all just blow over and everything will be back to the way it was in a month or two.
It became pretty clear that was not going to be the case by late May.
And the World Series of Poker is about to start in Vegas.
I'm going to be playing a poker tournament every day for six weeks.
But I'm beginning to plan ahead to what I'm going to do after that so I can get back to playing online.
And...
Talking to my girlfriend about where we're going to move, and the idea of Malta comes up, and we decide she's going to go there by herself and check it out while I'm playing the World Series.
And she's like, not really that enthusiastic about this idea at the time.
She's like, we're going to go to this little shitty island in the middle of nowhere.
I don't know about this.
joe rogan
Yeah, that sounds weird.
isaac haxton
But she went over there and ended up loving it.
It's like, Malta's great.
Let's go there.
joe rogan
Wow.
isaac haxton
Yeah, it came back.
joe rogan
Where'd the other poker players go?
Anybody follow you over there?
isaac haxton
Two other guys came with me over there and didn't stay.
joe rogan
What a fascinating vagabond lifestyle you guys have.
isaac haxton
Yeah, it's nuts.
All my friends who were living in Panorama Towers in Vegas are now scattered all over the world.
joe rogan
So no one stayed in Vegas?
isaac haxton
One dude stayed in Vegas.
joe rogan
One dude out of how many?
isaac haxton
One dude out of my, like, close group of ten friends or so, and a handful more out of the, like, 50 or 60 who are living in the building.
joe rogan
But isn't it legal now to gamble online on some sites if you live in Vegas?
isaac haxton
Yes, there is online poker in Nevada, but it's Nevada only.
joe rogan
Playing against other people in Nevada?
Right.
So there's a limited group of people to play with?
isaac haxton
Yeah, you can't play very high stakes, there aren't a lot of games.
Playing full-time from Nevada is not a very appealing proposition.
The guy who decided to stay is playing mainly in casinos.
joe rogan
Now, is there any movement to change this as far as the online laws?
isaac haxton
Yes.
joe rogan
What year was this all implemented?
isaac haxton
The UIGEA passed in 2006, but it's not really even clear how much that had to do with anything.
What happened right after the UIGEA passed in 2006 was that some poker sites voluntarily pulled out of the U.S. market, and that doing transactions with poker sites became more complicated.
Remember what I was saying about the UIGEA? It didn't change what was illegal.
It's not like online poker was legal before that and then it wasn't.
It's not like online poker was clearly illegal the whole time.
Nobody really knows.
It's up to prosecutors to decide that they want to prosecute a case against an online gambling site on the basis of the laws that are on the books, which are pretty vague, and then courts to decide if it's fair to apply those laws to the case in question.
joe rogan
So has anybody from the U.S. that's a poker player tried playing online poker from the United States and been prosecuted?
isaac haxton
Players don't really get prosecuted.
joe rogan
So it's essentially the site owners?
isaac haxton
The sites are the ones that are exposed to legal risk.
joe rogan
So if you just decided to stay in Vegas and keep playing online, what would be the risk?
isaac haxton
The sites wouldn't take my business.
joe rogan
They wouldn't take your business.
What if you went through a proxy?
isaac haxton
Then...
I might trick them and I might get to play on the site, but I would be constantly at risk of being caught and...
joe rogan
Confiscated.
isaac haxton
If I'm caught, I might lose all my money, yeah.
So, yeah, you have to do all sorts of identity masking bullshit to get away with playing on international poker sites from the US these days.
joe rogan
So what's being done to try to change that?
isaac haxton
Uh...
In some ways, it's pretty similar to the marijuana movement in the US, actually.
It's happening on a state-by-state basis.
There's probably not going to be a federal bill anytime soon.
There have been some attempts, but they haven't come very close to passing.
But so far, Nevada, New Jersey, and Delaware have passed Online poker bills.
And you can play in those three places.
joe rogan
That's it.
isaac haxton
That's it, so far.
California is at the forefront and is a huge one.
If California becomes an online poker state, even if you can only play against other California residents, it's a big enough state with enough money that that will be a full-fledged poker economy.
joe rogan
Yeah, 20 million people here.
I mean, this is a goddamn country.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
This is Canada.
isaac haxton
Close.
Canada's 40. Is it?
I think so.
I think I looked that up recently.
joe rogan
I think you did, too.
I think you're right.
I think we looked it up, actually.
Well, let's find out right now.
Population of Canada.
I want to say it's 37. Population.
isaac haxton
That sounds about right.
I think California's actually higher than 22. 34. 34.8.
California or Canada?
joe rogan
Canada.
34.8.
isaac haxton
I want to say California's close.
I mean, LA is 12 or 14 already?
38. California's 38. So yeah, California's a bit bigger than Canada.
joe rogan
So pretty close.
isaac haxton
38 and 35. And then those are pretty comparable to the larger European countries?
joe rogan
LA's 20 million.
isaac haxton
LA's 20 million?
joe rogan
Yeah.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
That's what the 20 million came from.
But that's just without Mexicans.
They have no idea how many people really are here.
isaac haxton
Right.
It could easily be 30. Yeah.
joe rogan
Or 40. Yeah.
There's a lot of people here that are undocumented.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
That's a crazy thing.
joe rogan
Yeah, the actual numbers.
I mean, I'm sure they probably have some sort of a vague idea, but unless they're going from neighborhood to neighborhood scanning, I mean, how do they know?
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's the whole idea, that they're here illegally.
There's no documentation.
isaac haxton
Yeah, I guess you could, like...
joe rogan
You could guess, somehow or another.
isaac haxton
Yeah, you could track indicators of economic activity, like...
How many fucking bags of rice are being sold at the supermarket?
joe rogan
Racist!
I don't know if that would work.
isaac haxton
I mean, track how much food is sold in L.A.? That has to be pretty closely correlated with how many people there are here.
joe rogan
I guess.
But how much cash business do they do?
That's where things get really squirrely.
Because a lot of folks in the illegal community, they work...
For cash.
isaac haxton
Right.
joe rogan
They spend cash on their bills.
isaac haxton
But you spend cash at the grocery store.
The grocery store has a record of that.
They don't know who spent it, but they know how much food they're selling.
joe rogan
But it would be racist to check, because you'd have to check those weird markets, weird Spanish names.
You drive by, like, you go down Van Owen, you see those...
isaac haxton
I mean, you check all the markets.
joe rogan
Yeah, I guess.
And then just calculate how many people are buying that food.
Look at you, you clever bastard.
He treated it like a goddamn poker game.
So, how long have you been in Malta now?
isaac haxton
Since September 2011, so like three years.
joe rogan
And any plans on...
What about, like, Monaco or any other places where you can...
isaac haxton
Monaco's creepy.
I don't want to go to Monaco.
joe rogan
Is it creepy?
isaac haxton
Everyone there has so much fucking money, and they're so snobby.
joe rogan
So says the guy who made a million six his first year of playing poker.
Eh, those fucking rich assholes.
isaac haxton
You know how, like, you'll see a car drive by in the States, it'll have, like, a handwritten sign in the window, for sale, $15,000, call this number?
joe rogan
Yes.
isaac haxton
In Monaco, you'll see that, only it'll be like a fucking McLaren or something, for sale, 1.5 million euro.
unidentified
Really?
isaac haxton
Handwritten sign in the window.
joe rogan
Come on.
isaac haxton
I've seen that in Monaco.
joe rogan
A McLaren for sale?
Like, with a little handmade sign?
isaac haxton
I don't know shit about cars.
I may be guessing the wrong name.
joe rogan
I know you, but yeah.
isaac haxton
Real fucking expensive sports cars.
joe rogan
Wow, that sounds crazy.
Why wouldn't they go to a broker?
isaac haxton
The taxis there are all Cadillac.
joe rogan
If you have that much money, why wouldn't you go to, if you have enough money for a fucking McLaren, not a, there's different McLarens.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
There's a, there's, I've talked about this in the podcast before, people got upset at me, but there's, this, I was saying that McLarens don't sound very good, and then they said, what about, this sounds awesome.
That's the million dollar McLaren.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's a million plus dollar McLaren has this amazing sound to it, but the regular McLaren that's like, I think 200 plus thousand, it doesn't sound bad.
It just doesn't sound like a Ferrari.
Like, Ferraris have this...
Part of the beauty of a Ferrari is the sound it makes.
People underestimate that.
That's one of the reasons why turbocharged cars aren't appealing to a lot of real sports cars fanatics.
Because they just don't have the same sound.
isaac haxton
That makes sense.
joe rogan
Yeah, the forced induction with the air.
It just doesn't give the same exhaust sound.
So much so that a lot of turbo...
Like some of the new turbocharged cars, what they're actually doing is they're faking the sound.
So there's a thing called the sound synthesizer that they use on the BMW M5. You could turn it off, praise Allah, because it's really gross.
And when you have it on, it's actually pumping sounds like engine sounds through your speakers.
So it uses a sound system of the car to make you think that you're making all this engine noise.
isaac haxton
Which car is this?
joe rogan
The BMW M5, which is a brilliant automobile.
isaac haxton
But they just tacked that on because it was too quiet by default?
joe rogan
Well, they used to have a V10. And the V10 was a monster engine.
It was just an incredible, incredible engine.
And it made so much cool noise.
It was just like this fucking throaty, deep, powerful...
I'm pretty sure it was a V10. Hold on a second.
BMW V10. Let me pull that off real quick.
WV10... And they switched to a turbocharged engine.
Yeah, yeah, it was a V10. So they switched to a turbocharged engine for the new one.
It has more power, more torque, it's faster, but it just doesn't sound as good.
Just doesn't.
You know, the one that, you know, it used to have this incredible whale to it that's like, here, I'll play it for you.
Sound like a Ferrari.
Like Ferraris have this...
That's the delay.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
Let me find this fucker.
isaac haxton
So anyway, what I was saying about Monaco is that more than any other place I've ever been in the world, there's this feeling that you don't belong there and that nobody is happy about the fact that you turned up.
joe rogan
Nobody's happy about the fact that you turned up.
isaac haxton
Like, there's one big poker tournament a year in Monaco that I have been to several times and, like, All the hotel staff and cab drivers and everybody else like that that I've interacted with there just seems like surprised and put off.
joe rogan
That you're there?
isaac haxton
That there is like some young American dude who doesn't speak French who is in Monaco.
unidentified
Really?
joe rogan
So it's just a millionaire, billionaire playboy place.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
And they want it for the rich French-speaking people.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Hmm.
But doesn't, like, George Clooney live there or some shit?
isaac haxton
Yeah, I mean, there are a bunch of people who are not French.
joe rogan
He's probably got, like, chateaus all around the world.
isaac haxton
For sure he does.
joe rogan
Chateau.
a shot too.
That's what a BMW with a V10 sounds like.
isaac haxton
That's a serious engine?
joe rogan
The new one sounds like a little bitch.
But the new one's a better car.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Catch-22.
It's like, what are you going to do?
If you keep going with these bigger, crazy, throaty engines, they just eat the gas, and then they kill the seals in the Arctic shit.
Drown the polar bears, the frozen glaciers, and all that good stuff.
What is the economy like in this Malta place?
What's it constructed with?
isaac haxton
A lot of it at this point has to do with foreign companies, many of them in the online gaming industry, a lot also just in banking and finance and stuff like that.
joe rogan
Is there tricky laws there or something?
Is that why they move there?
isaac haxton
Yeah, it's some of the lowest tax rates in the EU. So, like many small countries, it's, like, you know, Antigua or St. Kitts.
There are a bunch of, like, island nations near the U.S. that have carved out an itch for themselves as tax havens and...
Business-friendly economies.
Malta has a bit of that going on as well.
joe rogan
So do you have to, because you maintain your United States citizenship, do you have to pay taxes there and here as well?
Is that how it works?
isaac haxton
Only here.
If I had become a resident like I was planning to, which I never really finished that story.
If I had become a resident like I was planning to, yes, I would owe taxes there.
They have a tax treaty with the U.S. so I can...
Deduct what I pay there against what I would owe here.
You don't end up getting double taxed.
joe rogan
But, since I'm not a resident, no, I have no tax liability anywhere other than the U.S. But if you do become a resident somewhere else, you have to give up your residence here, right?
isaac haxton
No, not always.
unidentified
Not always?
joe rogan
Really?
isaac haxton
I mean, in this case, not at all.
This isn't becoming a citizen.
This is just becoming a permanent resident.
So I don't get a Maltese passport or anything like that.
I get a sticker that goes inside my U.S. passport saying that I am a registered permanent resident.
joe rogan
Yeah, there's a thing like that with Mexico.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like you had a resident visa or something like that.
You could stay like six months at a time and then you have to go back and forth.
isaac haxton
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There are all kinds of visas.
Every country has their own set of rules and different rules that apply to citizens of different other countries.
joe rogan
And do you enjoy this, this living in Malta and doing your online gambling there?
isaac haxton
Yeah.
It's a pretty decent place to live.
If I could live anywhere in the world and keep playing online poker, there's a decent chance I'd pick somewhere like San Francisco over Malta.
joe rogan
Why San Francisco?
isaac haxton
I just really like it there.
I was getting ready to move there from Vegas just before the DOJ crackdown.
joe rogan
Just because of the atmosphere of the town?
isaac haxton
Yeah, it's a nice place.
unidentified
It's a great place.
joe rogan
Very smart.
It's one of the smartest cities, I think, in the country.
It's also one of the most tech-savvy.
There's so many tech people there.
A lot of complaints, though.
The folks who were there for a long time are complaining about the real estate prices.
They were shot through the roof where regular people can't even afford to live there anymore.
They can't afford to buy houses.
I looked at the housing prices in San Francisco.
It's ridiculous.
A four million dollar house is like this regular house.
How is that a four million dollar house?
It's a million dollar house maybe, but it's not a four million dollar house.
I have friends who live in Atherton.
Do you know where that is?
No.
It's one of the richest neighborhoods in the country.
isaac haxton
Okay.
joe rogan
And it's just outside of San Francisco.
And it's fucking preposterous.
Like, their house is worth $15 million.
And it's not worth $15 million.
It's just not.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's just they have a large backyard.
But, I mean, it's not large if you live in Kansas...
isaac haxton
Right.
joe rogan
Or, you know, Nebraska or anywhere else.
It's just large for this one fucking area where it's just ridiculous real estate.
I mean, it doesn't make any sense.
Like, you look at this, you're like, how could you ever pay $15 million for this fucking house?
It doesn't make any sense.
isaac haxton
Yeah, that shit's crazy to me.
joe rogan
But it's called all those wacky fucking billionaire Google people live out there.
isaac haxton
Right.
joe rogan
It's just too much money.
isaac haxton
So, yeah, I mean, it's supply and demand.
unidentified
Right.
isaac haxton
People want to live in this one spot.
There's limited space.
And those people have a whole lot of money.
joe rogan
It drives me crazy, though, that you can't live here.
Not that I love you so much.
But it just drives me crazy that you have to, like, leave the country to do what you do for a living because of some fucking goofy laws that were obviously put in place by criminals or people that are just shady as fuck.
isaac haxton
Yeah, I don't love it.
joe rogan
No, it's fucking awful.
It's awful.
So if it does change, will it be something that's going to happen within the next decade?
isaac haxton
I think so.
Yeah, I mean...
joe rogan
Does PokerStars.net, do they try to work on that?
Are they...
isaac haxton
Yeah, there is a pretty good chance that they will be in the New Jersey market in the next year or so, because you need to get regulatory approval, and obviously the U.S., Casino interests are trying to keep PokerStars out.
It's not a company owned by Americans.
joe rogan
They should just send donuts to that Chris Christie guy's house over and over and over again.
He'll let them in.
Donuts and hot dogs and maybe cheese and pizza.
unidentified
Just keep sending food to that guy's house.
joe rogan
He'll say yes.
He loves food.
He loves food probably as much as he loves money.
And money buys food and this is like you cut out the middleman.
Just send him the food.
isaac haxton
It looks like he's pretty enthusiastic about food.
joe rogan
Yeah, he's not enthusiastic about Teslas.
He won't allow them to direct sell Teslas, which is just shady as fuck.
isaac haxton
I don't know about that.
joe rogan
You didn't know about that?
isaac haxton
No.
What's the story with that?
joe rogan
I'll Google it so I have all the information so I don't fuck anything up.
But Tesla, New Jersey, Christy.
He's just gross.
Christy says Tesla criticism is complete crap.
He's such a fucking slob.
Conservative criticism over his administration's decision to stop Tesla from selling cars in its showrooms in New Jersey is complete crap.
The fact is we looked away for a year to allow Tesla to do what they were doing and we couldn't look away any longer.
Look away?
What does that mean?
They had already been selling cars in New Jersey.
isaac haxton
They have a law in the books that they could interpret to stop them from doing that, but they didn't for a little while and then decided they would.
joe rogan
The company cannot sell their cars from the showroom.
They have two showrooms.
The company cannot sell their cars from the showrooms or offer their customers test drives.
The Jersey law on the books since the 1970s requires cars to be sold through the traditional dealership model.
Okay, he says, I don't like the law either.
I didn't vote for it.
I didn't sign it.
But I don't get to just ignore the laws that I don't like.
Hmm.
Okay, well that actually makes sense.
isaac haxton
Yeah, so...
joe rogan
He probably was spitting food out when he said it, though.
Probably had shit flying out of his teeth.
isaac haxton
Somebody sued or whatever and they couldn't ignore it.
joe rogan
No, maybe.
Yeah, probably.
Or someone paid someone off or something like that.
isaac haxton
Right.
joe rogan
It's just gross.
I don't understand.
First of all, it doesn't make any sense.
Why would you have a law like that in place?
The only reason why a law like that would be in place is because someone paid somebody off.
isaac haxton
I mean, I guess in theory the idea is you should need to have a license to sell cars, otherwise you might sell people real shitty cars that fall apart and then disappear and not be accountable for selling people cars that don't work.
What?
joe rogan
I guess.
The rule is actually a result of a backroom deal.
Electric car makers chairman charges.
Hmm, okay.
The anti-Tesla rule.
A new rule that effectively bans direct-to-consumer car sales.
This is what it's saying in this one article that is in NewJersey.com.
isaac haxton
Oh, this is sounding pretty suspect.
It's for specifically direct-to-consumer.
So, like...
There has to be a middleman broker.
You have to have a manufacturer who sells to a dealer who sells to a consumer.
And Tesla was selling manufacturer to consumer.
And so they had to crack down on that.
Is that what's going on?
joe rogan
Elon Musk, the way he said it, he said that if you believe that the law in the books protecting dealers are there for the good of consumer, then Governor Christie has a bridge closure that he wants to sell you.
Yeah.
Which is, of course, in reference to the scandal where that slob closed down a bridge for whatever political reason that had nothing to do with safety or the health and welfare of the citizens.
It was some political pressure.
Governor Christie has promised that this would be put to a vote of the elected state legislature, which is the appropriate way to change the law, Musk said, when it became apparent that the auto dealer lobby...
When it became apparent to the auto dealer lobby that this approach would not succeed, they cut a backroom deal with the governor to circumvent the legislative process and pass a regulation that is fundamentally contrary to the intent of the law.
Okay, so he's a bullshit artist, which makes sense.
isaac haxton
Sounds about right.
joe rogan
Yeah, that makes sense.
So New Jersey's got a bunch of issues.
This is also the same guy who's morbidly obese but said that he's going to stop Marijuana from being legal in his town that it won't be legal in his state rather on his watch because of the children How about the children looking at you as their leader, this morbidly obese person that's giving out any health-related advice whatsoever?
It just drives me fucking bananas, that kind of shit.
And, of course, they have...
isaac haxton
I don't have anything against fat people being elected to office, but...
joe rogan
I do.
isaac haxton
Yeah?
joe rogan
Yeah, morbidly obese.
I just don't think it's right.
unidentified
Really?
joe rogan
No.
isaac haxton
I'm just fucking around.
I'm just fucking around.
Bad example for the children.
joe rogan
No, if they're really good at their job, fuck yeah, they should be fat.
But he's not good at his job.
isaac haxton
Doesn't seem that way.
joe rogan
He's fat and he's a hypocrite.
My issue became only with the marijuana thing, which is marijuana is near and dear to my heart.
I think it's a fucking fantastic plant and I think it aids evolution.
And so I see some non-evolved, morbidly obese person who doesn't care about his health, and he's trying to push what he's talking about it from a health perspective, you know, worrying about the children.
Not only that, he's citing studies that he doesn't understand, non-biased studies that he doesn't understand at all.
isaac haxton
Yeah, the government studies on that stuff are real shady.
joe rogan
Yeah, ignoring all the positive benefit studies that have just time and time again been pushed aside because of their agenda.
isaac haxton
Well, yeah.
I mean, in my opinion, you don't even need to demonstrate that there's anything positive about it for it to be clear that it should be legal, just from a harm reduction standpoint.
People are gonna smoke weed whether or not you tell them it's legal, and if you make it illegal, then they're gonna have to deal with criminals to do it, and they're gonna be putting themselves in danger, and there's gonna be more crime, the associated crime that goes with that, and...
joe rogan
Not only that, people are going to be locked up, which is more harm, which is ridiculous.
Blocking people up for non-violent drug offenses is archaic.
It's stupid.
In fact, the World Health Organization just recently called for a decriminalization of all drugs.
I saw that, yeah.
Fascinating.
Absolutely fascinating.
isaac haxton
I think it's absolutely the right thing.
joe rogan
It is the right thing.
If you can have drugs, and you can have drugs, there's goddamn plenty of drugs.
I've gone over this a thousand times, but go to any corner liquor store and you can drink yourself to death.
Go to any drug store, there's a liquor aisle that's filled with enough booze to kill dozens of people.
isaac haxton
Oh yeah.
joe rogan
We live in a preposterously hypocritical society.
Is Malta like that?
Can you get good weed in Malta?
unidentified
What's it like?
isaac haxton
No, Malta is pretty repressive on the drug laws.
joe rogan
Really?
isaac haxton
It's a Catholic country.
joe rogan
Ah, those fucks.
So what happens if you get caught with a joint in Malta?
Death.
isaac haxton
Potentially a good bit of time in jail.
unidentified
Really?
joe rogan
A joint?
isaac haxton
I don't know.
The fucked up thing with multi-drug laws is that they really don't draw a lot of distinctions between one drug and the next.
And there's a bit of a growing heroin problem there.
And so there's a bit of a push for harsher drug laws to crack down on that.
And there have been a couple cases of...
That's spilling over into weed and people getting in a lot of trouble for a relatively small amount of weed.
joe rogan
That kind of makes sense.
That does happen in a lot of these smaller countries or countries that are just not as sophisticated.
They tend to lump drugs together, and oftentimes they also tend to prosecute people based on the weight of the plant, and they pick up the pot with the plant, like the pot that grows in, the dirt, the soil itself, and they count all that as your drug.
If you found someone who had marijuana plants in their house, and you weighed everything...
isaac haxton
It's like probably a few ounces of smokable marijuana, but it's like dozens of pounds of stuff associated with it.
joe rogan
Yeah.
It's like a sneaky little fucking loophole that prosecutors use.
You know, it's just gross.
It's just when you make criminals out of people that are just doing what they want to do that doesn't harm anybody else, it's a loophole.
And it just shows you that you have too many laws.
I mean, that's what it is.
It becomes bureaucracy.
It becomes red tape.
And it becomes a machine that needs fuel to feed itself.
isaac haxton
It's getting to the point that everyone's a criminal and that they can just pick and choose who needs to be taken down and sent to jail.
And so the criminal justice system just becomes a vehicle for discrimination and oppression.
Because if you interpret the laws...
To the maximum stringency, we're all felons for a million different reasons.
A bunch of the shit you do on the internet's a felony, a bunch of the shit you own in your house is a felony.
joe rogan
If you do both of those, you're a fucking double criminal.
Smoking pot and gambling online, you dirty bastard.
isaac haxton
Or just downloading videos that you didn't pay for.
joe rogan
Yeah, well, that's a tricky one, man.
That's a tricky one, because I think that as time goes on, it does seem to be changing in making access to legal, purchasable versions of these movies and things.
It seems to be much, much, much easier than it used to be a while back.
And, you know, I'm not in favor of putting anyone in jail for downloading things, but you're going to have to deal with what is a downloadable copy of something.
I mean, what is that?
unidentified
For sure.
joe rogan
There's a lot of ethical arguments both ways.
I like the argument that the people that have downloaded things, when they, you know, start calling them piracy...
They go, no, it's not piracy.
Because if it was piracy, I would take yours and you wouldn't have it anymore.
isaac haxton
Right.
joe rogan
It's a copy.
And that's so true.
And this is just...
It's one more example of how people want to use these black and white sort of definitions of things that exist for physical, you know...
Carbon-based, hard things that you can put on a scale that you simply can't do when it comes to digital content.
You just can't.
You can't do it.
isaac haxton
Applying property laws to ideas gets pretty complicated.
joe rogan
Especially ideas where you're not stealing the idea for a profit.
isaac haxton
Right.
joe rogan
Like when you're taking someone...
isaac haxton
You're just enjoying the idea without paying for it.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's weird, right?
isaac haxton
And I'm not saying that's okay to do.
joe rogan
I'm not either.
isaac haxton
My dad's a writer.
There are professional artists in my family who need to make a living by selling their art.
And if you can get all the art you want for free, that's fucking them over.
Right.
joe rogan
It is, but I think that there's room in this country for ethical consideration by the consumer.
To put it this way, remember when Napster was around, there was a bunch of people that were downloading things for free off of Napster.
They were doing the peer-to-peer thing, but...
A lot of people had this sort of really cool ethical consideration where they would take, like, if they got something and they liked it, they would go buy it.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
They would say, hey, I owe this guy.
This fucking album kicks ass, I'll go buy it.
isaac haxton
Right.
joe rogan
You know, and they also would become fans of the band, and then they would go see the band live, which is even better for the band, because then it's more profitable for the band.
unidentified
Sure.
joe rogan
As opposed to, like, the record, where they get kind of pennies on the dollar, they would get a much larger chunk.
You know, so there's...
There's a lot of shit going on.
How is it different that you can download music for free?
How is that different in some ways than the radio?
Is it just because it's a better copy?
Because the fucking radio is playing your music all day long.
isaac haxton
Because you have to pay for your radio music by listening to the ads in between.
joe rogan
Right, right.
But aren't you paying for your bandwidth that you use to download it?
I mean, it all gets squirrely.
isaac haxton
Yeah, it's all pretty complicated.
My point in bringing that up wasn't that I think it's wrong that there are laws regulating what you can and can't download without paying for it, but just that it creates a fucked up situation when the laws are such that if the government decides to, they've got a reason to put fucking anyone they want in jail.
joe rogan
Well, especially now that they're literally downloading every single voicemail that you've ever said, every single email that you send from now till fucking who knows when will be in some NSA database somewhere, and they might go look through your shit, and who knows, you might have said something completely joking, like, look, this poker shit isn't working out, so I'm going to start robbing babies and fucking, you know, whatever.
isaac haxton
take the other money and then they say oh that's criminal intent and this is a terrorist threat the super fucked up thing that they do is they i'm pretty sure this is accurate um if i'm spouting conspiracy theory bullshit here someone call me out on it but i'm pretty sure they find that shit
they leak the information to the fbi or the local police who then basically conduct a sham investigation to find the information legally so that they can use it in court but they already know what they're looking for because the NSA got it illegally and just gave it to them.
joe rogan
Yes, that's exactly what they do.
unidentified
Yeah.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
That should be illegal.
isaac haxton
That shit's insane.
joe rogan
That's sneaky as fuck.
Well, depending upon what you're doing, and that's where it gets squirrely.
If it turns out you're involved in trafficking, human trafficking, and selling children to sex slavery...
isaac haxton
Yeah, there's shit that's bad enough that it becomes a difficult question of what rights you can trample to keep people from doing that.
joe rogan
Yeah, but there's got to be a better way.
And also, if our society was just and if all the laws that were in place were in place in order to actually protect people.
Protect people from being victimized by bad people.
But that's not what's going on.
Especially when you're dealing with most drug laws.
No one's getting victimized by pot.
They're just not.
They tried to push it for a while that they were.
Do you remember when they used to have those commercials where these two fucking no-nonsense guys would be eating dinner and the guy would be saying that if you buy drugs, you support terrorism.
Period.
isaac haxton
Right.
joe rogan
And he kept eating to tell you.
It was like giving you this feeling of authority like it's your dad that's tired of your fucking stupid nonsense.
They've been talking with your friends around.
It's like, no, listen, listen, period.
End of discussion.
If you buy drugs, you're supporting terrorism.
And he's eating the salad.
So I'm like, what the fuck is this?
What is this weird psychological message you guys are trying to...
Do you remember that, Jamie?
You know what I'm talking about?
isaac haxton
It's like, no, I'm pretty sure my buddy Dave knows a guy named Jeff who grew these mushrooms in his closet.
joe rogan
Yeah, well, especially with pot.
I mean, I was buying it directly from the guys who were growing it.
So, like, there's no terrorism involved there, man.
They might have terrorized some fertilizer, popped the top, and poured it into the ground!
unidentified
No!
joe rogan
It was just so silly.
isaac haxton
I mean, there is a little truth to that.
Like, if you buy cocaine...
Somewhere up the chain, there are some fucked up people involved in getting cocaine to you.
joe rogan
And you know why?
isaac haxton
Because...
joe rogan
Cocaine's illegal.
isaac haxton
It's illegal, yeah, of course.
joe rogan
If cocaine was legal, you'd be buying it from Murtec or fucking, you know, GlaxoSmithKline or something like that.
They'd be selling cocaine.
isaac haxton
They're, of course, just ethically fine.
joe rogan
Hey, just like Jack Daniels.
They have a commercial for Jack Daniels.
Have you seen it?
Pull it up?
Yeah, pull it up.
Let's watch this fucking goofy-ass commercial because it's quite hilarious how they treat you like you're a fucking monkey.
Let's take a look at this.
Yeah, this is exactly it.
This is so funny.
Watch this.
unidentified
It's a ploy.
What?
This drug money funds terror.
It's a ploy.
Ploy.
A manipulation.
joe rogan
Ploy.
Drug money funds terror.
unidentified
I mean, why should I believe that?
Because it's a fact.
A fact?
F-A-C-T fact.
So you're saying that I should believe it because it's true.
That's your argument.
It is true.
joe rogan
So, the guy on the left, the first guy, is a moron, the handsome guy, and the older gentleman That's a weird ad.
It's the dumbest fucking ad ever.
Because there's nothing being said.
It's two dickheads.
isaac haxton
Why is that convincing?
Who thought that was a good idea?
joe rogan
Because people are scared of their dad.
It's convincing for people that are scared of their dad.
Not only that, who's going to fucking see that and go, I don't want that guy eating salad to be mad at me, so I'm not going to buy drugs.
Like, completely ineffective.
Like, absolutely 100% ineffective.
Like, not one person watched that ad and didn't do drugs.
Matter of fact, I did more drugs because of that ad.
I got mad and I did extra drugs.
Because it's so fucking stupid.
They treat you like you're a moron.
Like, somehow or another, that's all you have to say.
Like, first of all, that was pre-internet.
This is like 2001. Not pre-internet, but pre the effect of the internet and social media.
Social media really changed the whole game, the way people communicate, the way they understand information.
That was pre-social media.
Because you can't have those kind of arguments.
You just can't.
You can't say, because it's fact, F-A-C-T. Oh, you can fucking spell fact!
You must be right!
unidentified
Yeah.
isaac haxton
I'm sold.
joe rogan
Have that guy come over here and sit him down for a podcast for three hours.
I'll dissect that dude.
I'll send him through the fucking Vitamix.
Splice him up, you silly bitch.
It's ridiculous.
It's a ridiculous way to express an opinion.
First of all, you can't make an argument about terrorism and drugs in a 30-second commercial.
It's just physically not possible.
isaac haxton
Yeah, it's a really complicated issue.
joe rogan
It is as complex as biological life itself.
It is unbelievably complex.
If you want to break down the root cause of addiction, where drugs come from, what is a drug, what are the effects, why does this one-term drug, why is it a blanket that we throw over things that save lives?
That enhance cognitive function and productivity like caffeine and things that kill you and things that are bad for you and things that makes life more interesting.
There's all together under this one big blanket called drugs.
So if you're saying if you buy drugs you support terrorism, If you have a cup of coffee after your meal, I'm going to stab you.
Because you're a fucking drug user, you crazy asshole.
You're going to have a whiskey on the rocks like a gentleman, you piece of shit.
It's madness.
And that's all the kind of shit that was available...
You know, that they, or was out there before, you know, the social media aspect of the internet made that preposterous.
Could you imagine the Twitter response if somebody tried to put a fucking video like that?
You know, hashtag yes all drugs.
Hashtag yes all drugs would be the fucking, the parody attack of it.
They're still out there?
isaac haxton
They're still putting out pretty, not that bad, I guess.
joe rogan
What is one that you could think of?
isaac haxton
Um...
joe rogan
Jamie, see if you can look up recent anti-drug propaganda commercial, because I don't think they do them anymore.
I really think that they're so idiotic.
If one child went without a school lunch that was funded by the state, if one teacher got paid one extra dollar...
Someone who made that video should get their dick kicked into a fucking meaty pulp.
Because it's just a waste of money.
It's a waste of taxpayer money.
Not only that, most of that shit, when you see that, remember that talking dog?
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
Lindsay, I wish you wouldn't do drugs.
isaac haxton
That was the one I was about to bring up.
Isn't that pretty recent?
joe rogan
Uh, fairly.
It was on my 2009 comedy special, so I'm assuming that it was 2007 or 2008, and it was just mocked mercilessly.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
I wish you wouldn't smoke pot.
unidentified
You're not the same when you smoke pot.
joe rogan
I miss my friend.
Fucking retarded sponsorship that's all made by a partnership for a drug-free America the problem with that of course is a partnership for a drug-free America has received millions of dollars from alcohol tobacco and pharmaceutical companies yeah of course my joke was that that's like hookers making commercials against strippers that's really what it's like it's pretty much like alcohol companies making commercials against pot and There's
jamie vernon
the foundation for a drug-free world.
joe rogan
Oh, a world filled with...
First of all, before we talk about this, if you're interested in any of this stuff, like really in-depth, I recommend Dr. Carl Hart's work.
Dr. Carl Hart, who has been a podcast guest, and what was the name of his book?
Remember his book?
Here, I'll pull it up real quick.
Dr. Carl Hart.
He had a great point, and one of his...
unidentified
High price.
joe rogan
High price, yeah.
He's brilliant.
Just a brilliant guy, and he's the...
Associate Professor of Psychology and Psychiatry at Columbia University, and he is well known for his research in drug use and abuse.
And his statement is so clear.
It's just the best statement.
Not only is there never going to be a drug-free America or a drug-free world, you wouldn't want it.
isaac haxton
Yeah, of course.
joe rogan
You wouldn't.
Drugs are technology.
The reason they exist is because they're effective.
It's because we have figured out that there's ways that we can manipulate the way our mind works, the way our body works, the way our body feels.
For good and for bad.
And like all things in life...
Human beings have tools and those tools can be abused or they can be used and they can be used to the greater good of mankind.
And a drug is just like that.
It's just like a tool.
isaac haxton
Absolutely.
joe rogan
What is it?
Do you have a commercial?
unidentified
There's a bunch of them.
joe rogan
Just play one of these goofy fucking things.
unidentified
...in the United States have tried drugs or alcohol by the time they're 13 years old. A third of teens have gone to house parties where there was alcohol, pot, cocaine, ecstasy, or prescription drugs. Over half of kids say it would be easy for them to get pot if they wanted some. Seven out of ten teenagers have been offered an illegal drug.
Okay, well that's a good commercial.
joe rogan
I mean, that's like talk to your kids.
That makes sense.
isaac haxton
Yeah, that really wasn't bad.
joe rogan
Also, seven out of ten kids get offered drugs in high school.
I want to know who those other three are.
Those fucking losers.
Nobody's offering you drugs?
Come on, man.
What fucking parties are you going to?
You're not getting something?
Yeah, don't take pills.
You don't know what they are, alright?
Don't do heroin.
That shit's addictive.
But the only way we learn all these things is by, you know, the ability to freely communicate and express each other.
Express thoughts, rather.
Like Portugal has instituted a countrywide decriminalization of all drugs.
isaac haxton
A while ago.
joe rogan
Yeah.
isaac haxton
And it's going great.
joe rogan
The results have been fantastic.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Lower crime, lower drug addiction, you know, lower cases of HIV infection.
isaac haxton
It's just across the board.
joe rogan
Across the board, you know.
You can't suppress people.
You know, I know this...
As a parent, I try very hard to not suppress my children.
I try to explain to them what's good or bad about doing things, explain to them the dangers of things, but give them like...
I don't want to be the boss, you know?
I just want to be the person who can tell them things that they don't know yet and do it because I love them.
But as soon as you fucking tell people, like, because it's a drug, because it's a fact, F-A-C-T fact...
I just want to beat you to death, you fucking dunce.
You shitty propaganda machine walking around with a fucking pair of glasses eating salad.
Asshole.
Asshole face.
Just did your fucking shitty commercial.
That's my least favorite commercial, I think, ever.
Because it's a fact.
F-A-C-T fact.
So you're telling me that it's a fact.
I'm telling you you're both assholes.
unidentified
Who talks about anything like that?
joe rogan
Because it's a fact?
Your dad.
It's like a dad thing.
That guy is like a dad.
I have a friend who has a dad like that.
isaac haxton
I know people who have dads like that.
joe rogan
I can't talk to him because I'd be like, you're a dunce and that's why your son doesn't accept your thoughts.
You don't even understand this.
He gets away from you.
He mocks you.
Okay, I gotta go, because I can't have this conversation.
I'll fucking yell at you in your own house.
I wouldn't really, but...
But that thing, that fucking Mr. No-Nonsense guy, that Mr. No-Nonsense guy intimidates people.
Because it's fact.
F-A-C-T fact.
Anybody who fucking spells fact out like that, you should be able to just spit on them.
It should be an automatic...
What the fuck?
isaac haxton
It seems like the appropriate response.
unidentified
Spit.
joe rogan
S-P-I-T, spit.
It's not assault, but it's gross.
isaac haxton
Clearly too late for an intellectual discussion.
joe rogan
Yeah, you're going to hit him.
Hit him with rocks.
unidentified
What the fuck?
joe rogan
Pee on his leg or something.
I've taken this fucking way out of the boundaries of normal thinking.
unidentified
Assholes.
joe rogan
But, you know, those kind of commercials are really insidious.
They're insidious, and the roots of them is what's most disturbing.
When you find out this partnership for a drug-free America, it's essentially just a business ploy.
isaac haxton
Yeah, it's the alcohol lobby protecting their market.
joe rogan
Yeah.
I mean, it's so weird.
It's just, it's so weird.
Especially, like, you know what it would be like?
Well, that's not even good enough.
I was saying that it would be like a really shitty movie that's attacking, like, a really awesome movie.
You know?
For being, you know, because they don't want you to, I mean, that's what it's like, kind of, in a way.
That no-nonsense guy.
That is something that for whatever reason...
Even the ineffective way that the first guy communicated...
So you're trying to tell me?
That's what you're trying to tell me?
He's not telling you anything!
Are you guys both dumb?
You guys are idiots.
This conversation sucks.
And this is the reason why people shouldn't be allowed to vote.
You two dummies.
You two dummies having this fucking salad argument.
Weird.
And Malta?
Worse, huh?
isaac haxton
In terms of drug laws, yeah, it's pretty bad.
You can end up in jail for a very long time, for not very much.
joe rogan
You do some fucking Midnight Express type shit, right?
You ever see that movie?
I don't know.
isaac haxton
I've seen no movies ever.
It's embarrassing.
joe rogan
Really?
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
Just playing poker like a madman?
How many hours a day do you play poker?
isaac haxton
Not that much.
joe rogan
20?
isaac haxton
I'd say, like, I probably average 30 to 50 hours a week.
joe rogan
Oh, okay.
50 hours a week is still like a real work job.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
So it's a real job.
isaac haxton
It varies a lot throughout the year.
joe rogan
It's a lot of sitting.
isaac haxton
Yes, it is a lot of sitting.
It's not good for you.
joe rogan
Yeah, terrible for you.
Sitting is the new smoking.
Have you not heard?
isaac haxton
I have heard that phrase.
I kind of buy it.
I mean, my back is way too fucked up for a 28-year-old.
joe rogan
Is it really fucked up?
Do you stretch out or do yoga or anything like that?
isaac haxton
I stretch a bit, but nothing organized.
Not as good as it should be.
joe rogan
Yeah, you can get some bulging discs that way, dude.
Degeneration of discs.
isaac haxton
I don't think it's gone that far yet, but...
joe rogan
Yeah, I was wearing...
I was using this thing for a while.
It's pretty cool.
This knee thing.
But I decided that I like sitting up straight in this better than I like sitting on that thing.
It doesn't have...
You know what these things are?
You ever see these?
Here, I'll put it on.
It's a...
It's like a kneeling chair.
isaac haxton
Yeah, I do know those.
I thought about buying one of those to sit on while playing poker and didn't do it.
joe rogan
Well, there's good and bad to it.
It's not the most comfortable thing, but it definitely forces you to sit up straight.
isaac haxton
A buddy of mine has started playing from a treadmill desk.
unidentified
Really?
joe rogan
So he's on his treadmill while he's...
isaac haxton
It's this, like, specially designed treadmill desk.
He's, like, walking real slowly.
It's not strenuous because the studies show if you go more than, like, two miles an hour, it starts impacting your cognitive function.
He's just walking real slowly, but he's standing up and moving around all day while he's on his computer.
unidentified
That's clever.
joe rogan
That's probably way better for you.
isaac haxton
He's liking it a lot.
I may do that eventually.
joe rogan
Treadmill desk.
unidentified
I love it.
joe rogan
What if it gets to some virtual reality type shit?
Some Oculus Rift poker playing?
That would be kind of dope.
You aware of Oculus Rift?
isaac haxton
I'm not.
joe rogan
You're not?
Oh, but I have to tell you.
Oculus Rift is the newest, latest, greatest 3D virtual reality helmet that they've created.
Okay.
My friend Duncan, who's a big proponent of it, he loves this shit, because he got a copy of one of the earlier ones.
He let me try it on, and it was amazing.
But it was really pixelated.
It was like Quake 1, like old school video game-y.
There's no way you could misinterpret what it is.
You know it's not.
isaac haxton
Do you remember that really old Nintendo one came out?
unidentified
Virtual Boy.
isaac haxton
Virtual Boy, that's what I thought it was.
That thing was insane.
It was red.
joe rogan
Red?
jamie vernon
A friend of mine got it, and he got a headache within 30 minutes.
joe rogan
Some people get headaches.
Brian got a headache from Oculus Rift, but it doesn't give me a headache.
I think maybe it's the same kind of people that get a boat sickness, like motion sickness on boats, seasick.
isaac haxton
That would make sense.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's an inner ear thing, apparently.
I think maybe that's a genetic thing.
You either get it or you don't get it.
Because my kids don't get it, but my wife gets it.
It's weird.
Because I think my kids get their robustness from the fucking old man.
But anyway, this Oculus Rift, apparently it's gotten exponentially better.
And Duncan called me the other day.
I was at the improv.
And he called me up and he was fucking frothy.
He's like, dude, what I just saw is going to change everything.
The world is going to change.
This is bigger than the internet.
He goes, this is bigger than the invention of the wheel.
This is bigger than...
He goes, it's fucking crazy.
He was fucking frothy.
Frothing at the mouth.
I wish I could see his fucking beady eyes bulging out of his head.
He was so happy and excited.
He went to this 3D virtual reality developers conference thingy, and he said the newest version of the Oculus Rift, which hasn't reached consumers.
I don't think any of them have, right?
Just in a low-level sense, like developers.
But the newest, latest, greatest one, you go into a room and there's a guy playing piano.
And the way they filmed it, apparently, they put cameras all over a person's body.
And so everywhere you look, it's like you see it as if the camera, like you're looking.
There's no breakup of the motion.
It's completely smooth.
And it's completely HD, three-dimensional, like a movie.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Like you're watching perfect three-dimensional 4K video.
isaac haxton
Jesus.
joe rogan
Yeah, and you go into this room, and there's a guy playing piano, and he talks to you.
And you get to sit down, you can move near him, you can move around him.
It's all been filmed.
You can change where you're going, and the video follows you, and he said, it's fucking nuts.
The sound, he said, is like 3D, stereo sound.
The guy playing the piano, he goes, you feel like you're in a fucking room with this guy.
He said, it just changed...
It changes everything.
isaac haxton
That is crazy.
joe rogan
Yeah, he was going nuts.
He was going nuts about it.
And based on his original one that I fucked with, which was, like I said, very pixelated, very old school, like 1990 video game-y type, it was still pretty fucking cool.
Even then, they have ones now where- Yeah, Virtual Boy was fun.
Was it?
Well, pull up Virtual Boy.
I've never seen that before.
I'm actually enjoying this chair.
isaac haxton
It's like this sort of helmet thing on top of a tripod that you lean into, and it's just like red lines on a black background, if I remember right, and there are various video games you can play, like flight simulators.
joe rogan
Here it is right here.
Virtual Boy.
unidentified
That's what the games looked like, basically.
jamie vernon
There was very little detail.
joe rogan
Oh god, it's all red like that?
isaac haxton
Yeah.
Ew, it was gross.
joe rogan
But it was slightly 3D. Well, pull up Louis from Unbox Therapy, our pal Louis.
Lou has a video on that one that they made with an iPhone.
It's a cardboard box.
He had it here.
Oh, yeah, I've heard about this.
You open it up and then put the pieces all in place and then set your iPhone there and then you put it on your head.
It's like so low rent.
And apparently they made it that low rent on purpose to mock the Oculus Rift.
Because the Oculus Rift is this gigantic, huge, you know, silicone.
And this is, uh, he's, uh...
isaac haxton
How crazy is that?
unbox therapy
Or a VR cardboard cutout that uses your phone to create a headset.
unidentified
Does that make any sense?
unbox therapy
Anyways, I recently made a reaction video in which I gave this contraption to a number of individuals who you might recognize and I got some amazing reactions.
So if you haven't seen that video yet, you should definitely go and check it out But this one is dedicated to telling you and showing you how this seemingly Boring piece of cardboard can turn your phone into a state-of-the-art virtual reality heads, so it all nuts cut out and This cardboard cutout that you construct into what you see here.
Now you can actually make this on your own using plans via the cardboard website, so you don't need to purchase one of these.
Just get your hands on some cardboard, use the plans, and you can make it yourself.
Or you can buy a pre-configured cutout via Amazon if you want something that's a little bit more streamlined and closer to a finished product.
It's about $10, and I'll link that down in the description.
joe rogan
Let's cut it off here so Lou gets the hits.
But it's Unbox Therapy on YouTube, and he's got that.
You can see that, as well as the recent video of us shooting the iPhone 6 glass with a bow and arrow.
But he got a copy or hold of the newest glass screen for the iPhone 6. It's a sapphire glass and you can bend it.
You can scratch it with keys.
It's like really super, super durable.
isaac haxton
That sounds like a thing I would have some use for.
This is what my iPhone looks like.
joe rogan
Ah, there.
It's taking a beating, huh?
Yep.
Most of them have.
But what you can't do with that, we found, is shoot an arrow through it.
unidentified
Did not deflect.
joe rogan
Yeah, it did not deflect.
Went right through it.
It destroyed it.
Yeah, arrows and phones don't mix.
But, you know, how often are you going to get shot by a fucking arrow when you've got a phone on you?
Probably not often.
isaac haxton
And probably if your phone is ruined, that's not your biggest concern.
joe rogan
Yeah, if you're getting shot by arrows, your phone is the least of your concern.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, you better be worried about your fucking personal health.
Some shit's going down, son.
You're being attacked by Mongols or something.
isaac haxton
Usually the arrows don't come one at a time.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, I don't know how we got on this virtual reality headset thing.
isaac haxton
Yeah, I don't remember where that started either.
joe rogan
Oh, I remember.
unidentified
Oh, we're talking about poker ergonomics.
joe rogan
Being able to do it sort of like in the Oculus world, I think eventually you're going to be able to grab...
isaac haxton
So you're sitting at a virtual table?
joe rogan
Yeah, physical objects.
isaac haxton
Looking at virtual cards?
joe rogan
Or virtual screens in front of you, Minority Report style, and you're moving them around through this Oculus Rift headset, and you're standing up while you're on this treadmill and you're walking around.
isaac haxton
That's not too far away, I don't think.
joe rogan
I bet it's not.
You know, I really love this idea this guy's doing of walking really slowly.
You know, a lot of people claim, writers especially, claim that they get some of their best ideas while walking.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like they walk specifically and they hold on to a tape recorder while they're walking, and then they just talk, like they walk their dog or something like that, talking to a tape recorder.
isaac haxton
Yeah, I can see that.
joe rogan
Yeah.
There's something about moving, like the movement.
Just getting, nothing heavy, but a little bit of blood flow.
isaac haxton
Yep.
joe rogan
But your back's fucked up from sitting, huh?
isaac haxton
I mean, it's not terrible, but...
joe rogan
Want to try this?
isaac haxton
Sure.
joe rogan
Want to try one of these jammies?
Here.
Get this to you.
Take a few seconds, ladies and gentlemen.
This is a kneeling chair.
I just started doing it recently.
I did it now and I love it.
unidentified
I'm going to try to do podcasts like this.
joe rogan
Stand up.
unidentified
Do you think there's any benefit in that?
joe rogan
How many podcasts do you think you could do if you had to stand up?
Would that be good?
So what do you think about that?
isaac haxton
This isn't bad.
joe rogan
It's not bad, right?
isaac haxton
The standing up thing, I've actually been messing around with that a little bit recently.
I started playing poker using an Xbox controller instead of a mouse.
joe rogan
Really?
isaac haxton
And then I don't need to be flat on a desk, so I can stand up while I play.
joe rogan
Wow, that's pretty cool.
isaac haxton
Yeah, I'm liking that.
joe rogan
So you can kind of lie on your back.
What about that?
What about lying on your back, staring up at the ceiling?
Put a screen on the ceiling?
isaac haxton
I don't like it.
I feel like I'm less...
I've played poker just on my laptop lying in bed before.
I feel like I'm less mentally engaged when I'm lying down.
I think sitting upright or standing are a lot better.
joe rogan
Yeah.
I wonder standing writing.
Because I think one of the things about...
isaac haxton
Standing desks are getting pretty popular.
joe rogan
They are.
But I wonder if they're getting popular for writers.
Because there's something about writing, you don't want to be thinking about what you're doing.
Like you don't want to be thinking about standing, you just want to be like...
isaac haxton
You want to like get in that flow state?
Yeah.
Yeah.
joe rogan
I wonder...
unidentified
Hmm.
joe rogan
It seems like it would work though.
isaac haxton
Yeah, I don't see why not.
unidentified
Hmm.
isaac haxton
Dictating would work well, I could see.
joe rogan
Dictating standing.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
jamie vernon
Because you walk around on a cell phone, or on a phone when you talk, and just meander.
isaac haxton
Yeah, whenever I'm on the phone, I'm definitely moving around, wandering.
joe rogan
Dictating software is fucking incredible now.
Just the dictating software that you have on your phone, the voice recognition software on your phone.
isaac haxton
That's gotten really good.
joe rogan
It's amazing.
It's like the ability to pick it up.
Like, you could get on these note things on your phone and just talk into it, and it just picks it up incredibly well.
Like, look, I'll give you a...
Hello, you dirty bitches.
I'm tired of writing, so I just figured I'd talk into my phone.
P.S. Fuck you.
Period.
Bam.
Pretty good.
isaac haxton
Nailed it.
joe rogan
Absolutely.
P.S. Fuck you.
Period.
The whole thing.
We live in the future.
isaac haxton
Did it put a period or did it put the word period?
joe rogan
No, period.
If you say period, it puts a period.
If you say exclamation point, it puts an exclamation point.
isaac haxton
But what if you want to use the word period?
joe rogan
That's a very good question.
It's limited in that regard.
Maybe if you say the word period.
isaac haxton
Well, if you say the Jurassic period, does it write the Jurassic dot?
joe rogan
That's a good question.
Here we go.
isaac haxton
Does it have context, please?
joe rogan
The Jurassic period.
The Jurassic.
Okay, hold on.
How about this?
Period, the word.
Period, the word.
isaac haxton
The Jurassic, P-E-R-I-O-D. Can it tell us at the end of the sentence if you say, the Jurassic period was a very exciting time?
joe rogan
Ah, that's a good question.
The Jurassic period was a time where a lot of dinosaurs got dinosaur pussy.
unidentified
period it's fucking confusing I was confused.
Let me try that again.
joe rogan
Here we go.
The Jurassic period was a time where a lot of dinosaurs got a lot of dinosaur pussy.
Period.
unidentified
Yep.
joe rogan
Did it that time.
isaac haxton
Got it?
joe rogan
Yeah.
isaac haxton
Yeah, so it can tell you're at the end of a sentence.
joe rogan
Yeah.
isaac haxton
That's pretty sweet.
joe rogan
That is.
I guess you keep going.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
It keeps going.
It thinks of it as period.
But if you want to say, no, that happened during the Jurassic period.
unidentified
Hmm.
isaac haxton
I wonder if you can get the intonation just right that it can tell anyway, or if it's the last word, it always goes to the dot.
joe rogan
No, that happened during the Jurassic period.
Period.
I'm going to trick this bitch.
Ooh, that worked.
isaac haxton
Nice.
joe rogan
Period, period works.
That's how you do it.
So if you want to say period in the middle, you just keep going.
If you want to say period, period, then you get the word period and a period.
isaac haxton
All right, we've got it figured out now.
joe rogan
Ooh, we got it, man.
We fucking got it.
We live in the future, ladies and gentlemen.
But sooner or later, you're going to be able to do that with your Oculus Rift.
It'll just show it to you on a scroll, like one of those king scrolls.
It'll appear out of thin air.
How long do you think you're going to do this poker thing?
This is it for your life?
You're 28?
Ride this bitch right into the rocks?
isaac haxton
I mean, at some point, I'm not going to be able to compete at the highest level the way I do now.
That just has to be true, right?
joe rogan
What age do you think that is?
isaac haxton
40?
50?
joe rogan
But why would that be?
What would it be?
isaac haxton
People's brains slow down.
joe rogan
Do they, though?
Do they slow down because of atrophy?
Because of lack of use?
Do they slow down because you're dying?
Like, at what age does that happen?
isaac haxton
There's never been a seven-year-old chess world champion.
unidentified
Ah.
joe rogan
How old have they gotten?
isaac haxton
I think 50s.
joe rogan
50s.
isaac haxton
Um...
I think poker's probably similar, though...
You can make a living in poker without being one of the best in the world, so...
joe rogan
Make a living?
isaac haxton
Yeah.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, but it's like...
isaac haxton
It gets to be a lot less fun at that point.
joe rogan
Yeah, right?
You're just kind of a journeyman.
One of those guys that they bring in as an opponent for a boxer and he gets beat up every time.
isaac haxton
Yeah, basically.
joe rogan
But he's still a test.
Still a good opponent.
So, by then, you'll be living in Malta, you'll be in jail for pot, you won't be able to come back to America, where...
Do you have a strategy of how many years you want to do this?
Or are you just enjoying it right now?
isaac haxton
Enjoying it now, and it's just so hard to predict what the landscape of poker will look like, what making a living in poker will look like 10 years from now.
joe rogan
Yeah, I would imagine.
Especially with the regulations and the laws.
If everybody just opened everything up, I think it would be quite fascinating.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
I'm hoping...
There was an article that I posted recently about the death of politics.
It was technology and the death of politics, and the idea was that data was going to deny politics.
A lot of what politics is is sort of like...
Manipulating data and that the internet and this free access to information is going to sort of cut out most of the forms of politics.
isaac haxton
That makes a lot of sense.
joe rogan
Totally makes sense.
I would hope that that would also have a similar effect on things like your business.
It frustrates me to no end that you have to live in some fucking weird island in the middle of nowhere to avoid being locked in a cage.
isaac haxton
They're not going to lock me in a cage.
They're just going to lock the guy who lets me play poker on his site from the US. And they're going to steal your money.
They might steal your money, yeah.
joe rogan
Steal your fucking money, son.
isaac haxton
The DOJ likes stealing people's money.
joe rogan
They do.
They love it.
It's their best thing they do.
They do that better than anything.
The DEA does it, too.
That's what the DEA was doing in California.
It was hilarious.
They would bust these pot shops, not charge them with anything, take all their money, and then say the case is pending.
And so they would just steal a million dollars here, a hundred thousand there.
isaac haxton
It happened to a friend of mine who's another professional poker player, professional gambler.
He took a trip to, I want to say Puerto Rico.
Pretty sure it was Puerto Rico.
To play blackjack in a casino there.
He's an advantage blackjack player.
The game there was such that he could get an edge counting cards.
So he made a trip there to make some money.
And he flew back into...
I want to say it was Atlanta Airport.
And he had $80,000 in cash on him.
And he had all the receipts from, I sent this bank transfer to the casino because I was going to go gamble there.
I gambled there.
They paid me out this money.
I've got the cash.
I've got all the receipts.
Clear trail of what he did.
He got there.
They said, you've got a lot of cash.
Look kind of like a drug dealer to me.
Mine.
joe rogan
Wow.
isaac haxton
Wasn't charged with anything, they just took his money.
joe rogan
And what happened?
isaac haxton
He had to take them to court to get it back, and he did win.
But it took years and a lot of money.
And if you don't have a lot of money to pursue the case, and you don't have the wherewithal to navigate the legal system the way he did, and something like that happens to you, you're just fucked.
joe rogan
Well, not only that, $80,000, it seems like they could be eaten up pretty quickly in legal fees.
isaac haxton
I think he ended up suing for the fees as well, so he got paid...
joe rogan
The money back.
isaac haxton
He got paid his costs.
joe rogan
Well, that's nice.
But still, the interest and all that jazz.
isaac haxton
And you don't always win.
Sometimes you're out the 80 they took from you and 60 more you spent chasing it.
joe rogan
I wonder if that could have been prevented if he had legal representation as he landed or had it cleared in advance.
You know what I'm saying?
isaac haxton
You can't just travel around with a lawyer everywhere you go and you're a professional gambler.
joe rogan
No, I didn't mean that.
I meant contact a lawyer and arrange to have everything taken care of as you get there.
Is there a way around that?
isaac haxton
I mean, traveling with cash and declaring it at the border is a thing professional gamblers deal with all the time.
joe rogan
Have you dealt with that before?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
And it's no issue?
isaac haxton
It's almost always no problem.
It's legal to carry money if you're carrying more than $10,000 across the border.
You have to fill out a form saying you're doing so, but you fill out the form.
They say, where'd you get all this money?
What are you doing with it?
And I say, I'm a professional poker player.
I won it in Vegas, and I'm going to deposit it in my bank account when I get to somewhere else or whatever, and it's fine.
joe rogan
What's the most cash you've ever traveled with?
isaac haxton
Traveled with, like, had with me on a plane, I want to say around 70,000 euro.
joe rogan
What's that in dollars?
isaac haxton
About 100,000.
joe rogan
Damn, son.
Walking around with 100k.
And a briefcase?
With a fucking big chain attached to your wrist?
isaac haxton
In a bag.
joe rogan
A bag?
Like a gym bag?
That's what you want, right?
Like a Nike bag.
isaac haxton
Yeah, you don't want to look conspicuous if you're moving around with a bunch of money.
joe rogan
You don't want handcuffs.
Handcuffs attached to the fucking...
They'll just chop your hand off.
That's what they do.
That's what I heard.
Yeah, it seems like, yeah, the arbitrary limit of $10,000 always drove me crazy, too.
You're carrying more than $10,000 in cash.
Like, well, what's $10,000 to Bill Gates, and what's $10,000 to the regular person?
isaac haxton
Right.
But it's only a reporting requirement.
It's not like you're not allowed to do it if you have more than that.
joe rogan
Yeah, so if Bill Gates shows up somewhere and he's like, why do you have a billion dollars in cash?
It's like, because I'm Bill Gates' bitch.
I just like to roll around with a billion in my pocket.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Could you even carry a billion dollars on you?
No.
Is there a thousand dollar bill?
What's the largest?
Hundred dollar bill is the largest?
isaac haxton
Hundred is the biggest U.S. bill.
joe rogan
It used to be larger though, right?
isaac haxton
There used to be thousands or maybe even ten thousands, but they were not in general circulation.
They were printed for banks to hold onto and pass between themselves.
joe rogan
Oh, I see.
isaac haxton
The 500 euro note is, I think, the...
joe rogan
Largest international.
isaac haxton
Largest denomination that's like actually in wide circulation.
I've read that international crime is mostly done in euros now because it's a lot easier to move around cash in 500 euro notes if it's giant amounts of it.
joe rogan
That makes sense.
isaac haxton
Because a 500 euro note is like 700 US dollars and takes up the same amount of space as a US hundred.
joe rogan
What is that right there?
That's $100,000?
isaac haxton
Is that real?
Yeah, it was.
jamie vernon
It was a gold certificate.
isaac haxton
Only printed once in 1934. Oh, okay.
joe rogan
God damn.
Who's that creepy dude on the cover?
jamie vernon
I think it's Woodrow Wilson.
joe rogan
Creepy looking fuck.
He's responsible for some shit, guaranteed.
Looking at his background.
What is the most money that you ever won in a poker tournament?
isaac haxton
In a poker tournament?
joe rogan
Or playing poker.
Any event?
isaac haxton
Yeah, the biggest cash I've ever had in a poker tournament was...
About $3 million.
Damn!
I finished second in a tournament in Australia this year that was a $250,000 buy-in.
joe rogan
So you had to spend $250,000 to get it?
isaac haxton
Well, like I was mentioning earlier, I took on investors to play at that tournament.
I didn't put up all the money myself.
And it was a re-entry tournament, so I busted once on the first day and then bought in again.
So I spent $500,000 on the tournament.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
Oh my god.
But you came in second.
isaac haxton
I came in second and ended up making some money.
joe rogan
How much does that pay to come in second?
isaac haxton
About three million.
I don't actually remember the number off the top of my head.
You could google it real quick.
I think it was two point something.
joe rogan
What kind of pressure is there on you once you spend $250,000 then you get shanked and you come back in again?
isaac haxton
It was a rough week.
It was a series of tournaments there.
The first one was, or the first big one that I played was the 100k that was also re-entry that I was in six times and didn't cash.
joe rogan
So you spent 600 grand and you didn't cash?
isaac haxton
In a day.
unidentified
Oh my god.
isaac haxton
And then four days later is the 250k.
joe rogan
Oh my god.
isaac haxton
And I show up for that and bust right away.
joe rogan
You have major league balls, son.
Giant, huge, iron fucking balls.
Wow.
Six times in a day.
isaac haxton
It was a rough day.
joe rogan
Oh my god.
How do you sleep that night?
What is that night like?
Because you obviously can't do that too many times in a row.
Nobody can, right?
isaac haxton
Well, with that exact one, the re-entry period was open until the start of the second day of the tournament.
So after the first day, I was getting bloodbathed and down a ton of money and still had to come back the next day and play for real.
unidentified
Wow.
isaac haxton
And came back and got knocked out for the sixth time on the first hand of the second day.
joe rogan
Jesus Christ, son!
isaac haxton
So then after that, it was a lot of Australian Shiraz and a long, long sleep, and then a couple days off, and then the $250k.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
That's crazy.
That's digging into the account there, huh?
unidentified
Fuck.
isaac haxton
I'll do some damage.
joe rogan
So when you look at losses like that and wins, does that make you play more conservatively in upcoming events, or do you just have to play intelligently, period, and just take the losses when they come?
isaac haxton
The place where you get more conservative is your bankroll management rather than your play.
The play from one hand to the next is really about...
You have to put the magnitude of the numbers out of your head and try to make the best play each time...
It's on you to make a decision.
joe rogan
So are you in the moment?
Are you zen?
Or are you still thinking about that $600,000 that you...
isaac haxton
I'm pretty good at just getting myself into the moment.
The place where you get more conservative is you lose for a while.
You have less money than you did before that period started.
You reevaluate.
I have only 75% of the money I did a few months ago.
Should I maybe sell...
75% of my action in this upcoming tournament instead of 50%.
joe rogan
Right, I see, I see.
isaac haxton
That's the way in which you can get more conservative if you're going through a losing stretch, is play for lower stakes.
joe rogan
What's the biggest losing stretch you've ever gone through?
isaac haxton
In dollar amount?
In period?
joe rogan
Dollar amounts.
isaac haxton
Let's see...
joe rogan
Have you ever gone through a couple million dollars in a weekend?
isaac haxton
In games where I had sold action and didn't have all of myself, yeah, I've lost...
I guess my biggest losing couple of days was on the order of...
50 million Hong Kong dollars.
Hong Kong dollars, which are bigger.
Or less, rather.
unidentified
So only like 6 million U.S. Oh my god, son!
Only 6 million U.S. dollars!
isaac haxton
And personally, I had a small share of that, so I didn't personally lose 6 million dollars.
unidentified
What does that mean?
joe rogan
What's a small share?
A million?
Two million?
What's a small share?
isaac haxton
10%-ish.
joe rogan
Okay, 600 grand.
Still, that's a lot of fucking money.
isaac haxton
Yeah, it doesn't feel good.
joe rogan
Wow.
isaac haxton
And then, of course, a bunch of my friends lost a shitload of money, too, and I have to send out the email, hey guys, didn't go real well.
That's the worst part of it for sure, is the hey guys didn't go real well email.
joe rogan
I'm sure, because everybody's like planning on making a profit based on your success in the past.
So it's rare that you hit these dark spots.
What do you attribute them to?
Is it just luck?
isaac haxton
I mean, it's not that rare.
Like any given day that I play poker, I might be...
If I'm playing cash games, maybe like a 52% favorite to have a winning day.
Maybe less than that.
If I'm playing a tournament, I'm a favorite to have a losing day, because tournament, they pay about top 10% of the field, so if they're paying top 10% of the field, a really good player cashes 15-18% of the time.
joe rogan
That seems incredibly stressful.
isaac haxton
It's pretty stressful.
joe rogan
How do you feel about this as a human being trying to make a living in this incredibly...
It feels like you're navigating a minefield, like...
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
Obviously, you've been very successful with this.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
You've turned a very nice profit.
You do very well.
isaac haxton
Yeah.
joe rogan
But the amount of stress that on your 28-year-old body, not just your back, but your mind racing and battling these numbers.
You're talking millions of dollars back and forth and down and up.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
What is that?
Do you do something to mitigate that?
isaac haxton
I like to meditate every day.
joe rogan
What kind of meditation?
isaac haxton
Just breath focused.
Basically just sit quietly for anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes and attend to my breathing.
joe rogan
Just concentrating, breathing in and breathing out, just trying to stay calm.
isaac haxton
And sometimes I'll do an exercise on top of that where I'll track the thoughts that enter my mind and label them as thoughts about the future or thoughts about the past.
And what that exercise does is helps to bring you into the present moment and to see that it's difficult to have thoughts about the present moment.
You just have sensations and feelings and experiences of the present moment.
And the thoughts that you build on top of that are almost all about the future or about the past.
And observing that process is really good for bringing you into the present moment.
And that's great for poker because all the shit that stresses you out when you're playing and dealing with these big swings is thinking about the past and thinking about the future.
Thinking, I'm down this much in the last couple of days.
That's real fucking bad.
What am I going to do?
Or I'm going to win all this money and then I'm going to buy a fucking yacht and...
Sail off into the sunset.
And both of those are things you can think that take you out of the moment of, alright, he just bet.
What do I think he has?
What's the right play?
joe rogan
So in that sense, poker is a lot like life.
The key to life is to be present.
isaac haxton
It's great training for living your life mindfully and rationally and effectively.
joe rogan
Have you ever done any treatments or sessions in the isolation tank?
isaac haxton
I haven't.
I really want to.
joe rogan
Why don't you get one?
You're making banks, son.
isaac haxton
Yeah, but I'm traveling around all the time.
joe rogan
Ship one of them bitches out to Malta.
isaac haxton
I don't know how to get something shipped to Malta.
I can't fucking figure out how to get them to send me a desk chair in Malta.
joe rogan
I guarantee you somewhere in Europe they have sensory deprivation tanks.
isaac haxton
They have a couple in Malta.
I looked it up.
joe rogan
They do have one?
isaac haxton
I didn't get around to go into one.
joe rogan
But it's an hour across the whole island.
isaac haxton
Yeah, no, it's right fucking there.
I'm just kind of lazy.
joe rogan
Jesus Christ.
If you do it once, you're going to realize what an amazing tool it is.
You're going to want to do it all the time.
isaac haxton
I came really close to doing it once with JC in LA several years ago.
We got in the cab and we went to the place and we got there and it was closed.
joe rogan
Well, there's a place that's in Venice while you're here, the Float Lab.
isaac haxton
I'm pretty sure that's where I tried to go.
I mean, JC took me there.
joe rogan
Oh, it's amazing.
They're the best place too.
The best place in California for sure.
isaac haxton
I should check that out for sure.
joe rogan
Yeah, well, I'll try to see if I can hook it up once you get out of here.
isaac haxton
Cool.
joe rogan
But we're out of time, man.
We're going to turn into a pumpkin.
unidentified
Oh, alright.
joe rogan
So, we're three hours in.
That was three hours.
Isn't that incredible?
isaac haxton
That flew by.
joe rogan
Yeah, follow Ike on Twitter.
It's IkePoker, I-K-E, poker on Twitter.
Anything else?
PokerStars.net, your sponsor.
unidentified
Real quick, I want to...
isaac haxton
I want to plug my dad's book.
My father, Brooks Haxton, is a writer and just published a book called Fading Hearts on the River.
That's sort of a family memoir that, uh, tracks my poker career and all the other interesting shit that's gone on in the Haxton clan over the last several generations.
It's a great read, like, uh, cool family stories and also interesting meditations on game playing and the meaning of games and how they function in our lives.
joe rogan
Excellent.
And what's it called again, one more time?
isaac haxton
Fading Hearts on the River.
I'm pretty sure you can get it on Audible.
I think there's an audiobook version as well.
joe rogan
Glorious.
And that brings us to our sponsors.
Audible.
Audible.com.
Thank you to Audible.
Go to Audible.com forward slash Joe.
Get a free audiobook and up to 30 free days of Audible service.
And if you want to get Ike's dad's book, it is...
isaac haxton
Fading Hearts on the River by Brooke Saxton.
joe rogan
Write it down, bitches.
I know your memory sucks.
Thanks also to Ting.
Go to rogan.ting.com and save $25 off of any of their brand new Android devices or the Apple iPhones as well.
Thanks also to onnit.com.
Go to O-N-N-I-T. Use the code word ROGAN. And save 10% off any and all supplements.
That's it for this week, you dirty fucks.
We'll be back next week.
Until then, much love.
We'll see you Friday night at the San Jose Performing Center.
Go to my website, JoeRogan.net.
All the details are there.
I don't remember shit.
Much love.
See ya.
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