May 22, 2014 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:38:20
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Ladies and gentlemen, we have returned from a glorious day of automotive bliss to present you another episode of the podcast. | ||
| This episode is brought to you by stamps.com. | ||
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| So, use the code word JRE. Go to Stamps.com, click on the old-school microphone in the upper right-hand corner, because that's how you know it's classy, those old-school Lenny Bruce-style microphones. | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| The phases of voice there are crazy. | ||
| I move around. | ||
| Yeah, you went from don't know how to read to phone sex operator to normal to radio guy. | ||
| I'll go strip club. | ||
| DJ, I'll go race car driver, I'll go flight attendant. | ||
| I'll mix up my fake voices. | ||
| Dude, finish the promo as flight attendant. | ||
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| Click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type J-R-E. That's stamps.com. | ||
| J-R-E. Steady and calm. | ||
| No freakouts. | ||
| No panic attacks. | ||
| Heavy turbulence. | ||
| Calm. | ||
| That bitch has been there. | ||
| Done that. | ||
| She's solid. | ||
| She's got a good base. | ||
| A strong foundation. | ||
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| LegalZoom is a way for you to take care of a lot of legal shit while you're naked and drunk at home in front of your computer. | ||
| No one can know. | ||
| And if you think the government's spying on you, you do what I do, son. | ||
| You put a little piece of tape over that little fucking snitch camera that they have sitting in front of your fucking laptop. | ||
| You want to see a middle-aged man jerk off? | ||
| You fucking find it yourself, okay? | ||
| Sneak in and look at my fucking camera. | ||
| Anyway, if you go to LegalZoom... | ||
| He's not kidding, your shit is taped up. | ||
| He's got capper tape on his camera. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, am I stupid over here? | |
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| And LegalZoom will also connect you with a third-party independent attorney if you fucking panic. | ||
| If you're in the middle of filling out the form and you're like, this shit is not right, I'm going to jail. | ||
| Fuck you, Joe Rogan. | ||
| All you have to do is contact LegalZoom and they'll connect you with an independent attorney who can help you get the shit straight. | ||
| So although LegalZoom is not a law firm, they provide you legal help through independent attorneys and self-help. | ||
| But they're not a law firm. | ||
| This is important. | ||
| So don't think this is a law firm. | ||
| They're just like a... | ||
| Think of it as just a way for you to take care of shit that you would otherwise have to go to a lawyer, and you can actually do it. | ||
| The world is changing. | ||
| Use the internet, okay? | ||
| It's not a law firm. | ||
| It's a lawyer's secretary. | ||
| It's a machine. | ||
| You have access to a lawyer's secretary. | ||
| You're pressing keys. | ||
| There's no one on the other end. | ||
| It's WebMD, right? | ||
| They just know what they're doing. | ||
| It's a code. | ||
| It's all in there. | ||
| Figure it out. | ||
| You can even get divorced. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| On fucking LegalZoom? | ||
| You can get divorced? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| We should get gay married just to prove we can do that. | ||
| Doug Stanhope and I were going to do that when we were doing the Man Show. | ||
| We were going to go to Maine or wherever the fuck it was when we made it legal. | ||
| We were going to go get married. | ||
| Anyway. | ||
| That's a great bit. | ||
| How did you not do that? | ||
| The Man Show was a disaster. | ||
| That's how. | ||
| Anyway, go to LegalZoom. | ||
| Go to LegalZoom and use, in the referral box, use the referral code ROGAN at checkout. | ||
| So that's LegalZoom.com and use the code word ROGAN. Yeah. | ||
| That's back to phone sex. | ||
| By the way, that shit never works, right? | ||
| That's like the worst fucking useless voice that's a cliche ever. | ||
| It's the sexy phone girl. | ||
| Because no one thinks that's sexy. | ||
|
unidentified
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No. | |
| Like, if a girl's talking to you like, hey, big boy. | ||
| She's 300 pounds. | ||
| What kind of grossness? | ||
| It's 1958. What is that disaster on the other end talking to you? | ||
| She's like 90. She's probably cutting her nails. | ||
| The only one that's like it is the scary voice. | ||
|
unidentified
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Welcome to my home. | |
| That's not scary. | ||
| That fucking Dracula? | ||
| Right? | ||
| That's not scary. | ||
| That's like sitcom Dracula. | ||
|
unidentified
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Tonight will be a very special, special creepy show. | |
| Oh yeah, it's a Sesame Street, dude. | ||
| You gotta talk right into that, Alex. | ||
| Oh, sorry, dude. | ||
| It's a Sesame Street. | ||
| No, just pull it up towards you. | ||
| It moves around a little bit. | ||
| That was Danny Trejo, by the way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Cue music, young Jamie. | ||
| Let's get this fucking podcast started officially. | ||
| We're done with commercials. | ||
| Danny Trejo? | ||
| That was Danny Trejo? | ||
| Yeah, you're a vampire. | ||
| You're a vampire. | ||
| I was trying to do Joe Rogan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Joe Rogan experience. | |
| Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. | ||
| Hey everybody! | ||
| Today on the podcast we have Alex Ross from Shark Works. | ||
| Porsche aficionado, builder, developer. | ||
| Are you like an engineer, a designer, creator of the greatest fucking car the world has ever known? | ||
| Matt Farah today, Matt Farah of the Smoking Tire. | ||
| You might know him from many of the internet shows that you put out. | ||
| The Fuel TV show, the YouTube shows you put out. | ||
| And as of Saturday, NBC Sports. | ||
| And as of Saturday, NBC Sports, congratulations, young man. | ||
| You and Chris Harris are my two favorite internet journalists. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| Because you're both regular dudes who fucking really love cars. | ||
| He's not a regular dude. | ||
| He's a maniac. | ||
| He's a maniac. | ||
|
unidentified
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He's a fucking maniac. | |
| He's crazier than you. | ||
| He's way crazier than you. | ||
| Way crazier than the way he drives. | ||
| What you guys are is people who have a real passion for automotive engineering and design and the history behind it and the kind of cars. | ||
| You're a fucking car nut, dude. | ||
| Big world. | ||
| A lot of things to appreciate. | ||
| When we were on the road today, one of the things I thought was fascinating was cars would drive by and you're like, oh, 84 Supra. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| You hear the whine. | ||
| You had all these. | ||
| Every fucking car. | ||
| You're a legit 100% car nut. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| I pale in comparison. | ||
| That guy was a fan, wasn't he? | ||
| Yeah, that guy was a fan. | ||
| He had a roll bar. | ||
| Yeah, that guy was fun. | ||
| Track day, bro. | ||
| He was funny. | ||
| He turned around and came back just to see what the fuck was up. | ||
| Well, we did have some metal out there. | ||
| Yeah, there was some metal out there. | ||
| Some fine cars. | ||
| Alex and James have built us. | ||
| So Alex is the guy who, did you find, Shark Works, you're the founder of it too, right? | ||
| You don't say find, you say created and started. | ||
| No, he found it. | ||
| Did you find it somewhere? | ||
| He didn't found it. | ||
| It just so happened to have your nickname as the name of the company, Sharky. | ||
| What a coincidence, that's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, and I figured why not. | ||
| Fuck it, this is a sign from God. | ||
| I just found this thing, and this is what I love to do anyway. | ||
| He happened to find this tuner company called Sharkboy. | ||
| They couldn't even spell it correctly. | ||
| Everybody looked for the O, and there's no O. What is this work? | ||
| German, you assholes! | ||
| German cars. | ||
| I get it, I get it, I get it. | ||
| They're being crafty. | ||
| It's like comedy with a K, when it's comedy night. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Kooky comedy with a K. Like a morning zoo? | |
| Yeah, like the kooky comedy club, KKK. Does that exist somewhere? | ||
| Probably. | ||
| If it doesn't, it will. | ||
| All things will happen eventually. | ||
| It's at least going to be a Twitter handle in the next few days, for sure. | ||
| In the last fucking few minutes, people are probably jumping on it right now trying to figure it out. | ||
| Are we live? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, we are? | |
| Okay, cool. | ||
| So Alex builds cars, and what he does is he takes what's arguably the greatest race car for the street in the world, which is a Porsche, a GT3, and he turns them into these ridiculous GT3s. | ||
| These GT3s on performance-enhancing drugs, EPO, and all those Lance Armstrong chemicals. | ||
| These fucking cars are just completely different animals, man. | ||
| They're fucking fun. | ||
| Thanks, man. | ||
| Really loud and interesting. | ||
| You just pull at them a little. | ||
| You find the parts you like, like the high-revving nature, the steering, and the whole delivery, the way the power comes on and just builds and builds, and you just pull at that a little more. | ||
| Seems to accentuate the existing character of the car rather than try and turn it into something else. | ||
| What year did the car get invented? | ||
| What was the first Henry Ford automobile? | ||
| The car? | ||
| The car? | ||
| All cars? | ||
| The first car. | ||
| 1800s, late 1800s. | ||
| Yeah, there's arguments over who did it actually first. | ||
| So there was a bunch of people thinking about it? | ||
| 18s, 80s, 70s, 80s. | ||
| It was the first little fucking carts. | ||
| They just didn't have a horse pulling them, but that's basically what they were doing. | ||
| So, on the long shot, we're dealing with 130 years, would you say? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| On the long shot? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And on the short, maybe just a couple years less than that? | ||
| That's not that much time to figure shit out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| But we were just talking, Alex and I were talking today about the old Porsches, like those... | ||
| 1970s models with the big wooden steering wheel and the skinny-ass tires. | ||
| And they used to race them. | ||
| It's like they must have been out of their mind. | ||
| They were yodos. | ||
| Every year they have the historic races. | ||
| And they race this shit from like 1915. You know, these Mercer raceabouts. | ||
| And they have these riding mechanics. | ||
| And they're sitting on like fucking Apple boxes. | ||
| There's two guys. | ||
| They're on wooden wheels, you know, and they're racing these things. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Yeah, going around Laguna Seca, you know, with million-dollar cars, and they're going like eight-tenths. | ||
| They're on like a fucking Oregon trail wagon with an engine in it and a handbrake. | ||
| What we were talking about, which I found was really fascinating, was just in the past just 30, 40 years, look at how much things have changed in the car world. | ||
| What did we decide? | ||
| What was the first Porsche? | ||
| What year was it? | ||
| 65? | ||
| Yeah, so, well, 911. First Porsche? | ||
| 911, first 911? | ||
| Yeah, 49. 49 was the first Porsche? | ||
| Seinfeld's got that fucking thing. | ||
| Well, you could go back to the Beetle. | ||
| What is that, probably, like 20 million or something crazy? | ||
| Estimates are like 6 to 8 million. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah, but you could go back to the Beetle, really, you know, pre-war if you wanted to. | ||
| VW Beetle, that's very Porsche. | ||
| Let's just, like, give them an era and go with, like, the 65, 911, right? | ||
| That was the first year. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Think about that. | ||
| So that's like 49 years now? | ||
| It's the 50th anniversary. | ||
| They released that special 50th anniversary. | ||
| So think about that, man. | ||
| How much that fucking car has improved in 50 years. | ||
| But it's tiny little increments. | ||
| That's typical Porsche, right? | ||
| They'll take it and just go like another ring around a tree. | ||
| It ages and it just gets a little bigger. | ||
| And I just drove the new 911 Turbo S, which is like stupid time warp fast. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that's what I was going to get at. | ||
| At what point... | ||
| We were talking about this today, and I think it's a fascinating subject, because when you see all these Google cars driving around, like I saw a Google... | ||
| It wasn't the car that drove itself, but it was a street view thing. | ||
| Street view car? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was driving around, filming everything, taking pictures. | ||
| No, I was... | ||
| Look, I find it fascinating. | ||
| I think that's a felony. | ||
| It will be eventually. | ||
| Google will sell it to the government. | ||
| It'll be the government's map teams assessing. | ||
| That'll be the new way to make jobs. | ||
| Demolition Man, bro. | ||
| It's happening. | ||
|
unidentified
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Dude, it is happening. | |
| Demolition Man is fucking happening. | ||
| We were talking about this today. | ||
| This is probably not going to be around that much longer. | ||
| Driving your own car is probably not going to be... | ||
| And what we've gone from, these shitboxes with skinny-ass tires that slid all over the place, death traps, you couldn't hit the brakes quick enough, they were slow as fuck, terrible handling, rhinos on roller skates, each and every one of them. | ||
| Right? | ||
| And now, what we did today, driving these GT3s that you've modified, going through the canyons, and they're just stuck to the ground like a cheetah running up a fucking tree. | ||
| Cheetahs don't run up trees. | ||
| It doesn't even make sense. | ||
| Cheetahs don't even have claws like that. | ||
| You had us right until the end of it. | ||
| Leper. | ||
| Damn it! | ||
| I think that era for Porsche was the golden era, though. | ||
| I'd say from 2001 to 2011. What do you say to all these people that long for the air-cooled days? | ||
| It's like two groups. | ||
| I like the air-cooled, but they just haven't driven these. | ||
| And when they do, quite often actually, like I was telling you, like Magnus Walker, he's obviously renowned for air-cooled. | ||
| He said it was one of the most fun cars he'd been in, you know? | ||
| No, I'm sure. | ||
|
unidentified
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You know what? | |
| Porsche got off to a really bad start with the 996, which you had and told us to be the funniest story about earlier about all the problems. | ||
| It was a terrible car. | ||
| And all 996s are bad. | ||
| Pretty shit. | ||
| I mean, they are. | ||
| They're pretty shit. | ||
| Yeah, unfortunately. | ||
| And the 993 was pretty dope. | ||
| Like, the 993 turbo was a fucking epic car. | ||
| Like, they went from the best it could ever be to the 996. Well, what they did, though, on the 993, they were running out of money, so those were... | ||
| I mean, they're worth a lot because they didn't build very many. | ||
| And on the 996, that was the dot-com era. | ||
| That was when everyone was buying a Porsche. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| They made tons and tons of them, and they switched to this rather... | ||
| NAF engine, if you will, that had problems. | ||
| Except for the turbo and then later the GT3. But I know you had problems with it. | ||
| Oh, mine was a hunk of shit. | ||
| But I remember one of the reasons why I got it, because I'll never forget this cover. | ||
| It was either Motor Trend or Road& Track, and it had the 993 911 Turbo on the cover, and it said, sell your soul and buy this car. | ||
| Yeah, I think it was... | ||
| Sell your soul! | ||
| I think it was Motor Trend, was that one. | ||
| Whatever it was, I was like, that is goddamn genius. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I had a friend who had a 964, and I remember just like, would stare at it and go, look at that goddamn dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're fucking dope. | ||
| It was just amazing. | ||
| Well, that's why, you know, I drove your car today, which is awesome. | ||
| I got out of your car, and I'm just like, okay, that's the best thing ever. | ||
| And then I drive Alex's, which is the newer one of your car. | ||
| You know, 4.1 liter and I was like, oh, shit. | ||
| That's another level. | ||
| That's the best. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| Well, you have driven to give people just a little background on Matt. | ||
| Matt's one of my, like I said, favorite automotive journalists because he's a real car guy, a guy who really does enjoy cars, but also you have a deep knowledge of the history of automobiles and how they were created and all the different models and all those different things, but nerd. | ||
| Your guy's driven to fucking every car there is. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| So when you drive a car and say, this is the best car ever, that's a totally different thing. | ||
| So I had the best car ever for 10 minutes. | ||
|
unidentified
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You did. | |
| For 10 whole minutes. | ||
| You did, yeah. | ||
| Until Alex stole the thunder with the new one. | ||
| Fuck, the new one's crazy. | ||
| You drove it too. | ||
| Dude, I got the new one and the first thing that I said to him was, oh my god, this is next level. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| I didn't think you could get next level and still keep that rawness, but clearly you can. | ||
| You know, we try to do sort of the same way that Porsche goes, you know? | ||
| I mean, we spent a lot of time on that green one that we did in order to develop. | ||
| It was called Kermit because it was green. | ||
| Funny, but... | ||
| Classic. | ||
| Yeah, classic. | ||
| Fucking creative is what it is. | ||
| Oh, it's a dope fucking car, man. | ||
| It was. | ||
| That's the car that got me to contact you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember you saw a video. | ||
| My wife made that video, actually. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| This car is just so... | ||
| So visceral. | ||
| It's like, for folks who don't appreciate automobiles, and I completely understand, let me try to put it into perspective, into way you could try to understand why people are, like, maybe you live in New York, you take the subway, you couldn't give a fuck, but you're about to turn this podcast off. | ||
| Just talk about drugs and fighting again, Joe. | ||
| Geniuses. | ||
| There have been geniuses that have, over the course of decades, engineered, re-engineered, redesigned, rethought out these metal boxes with fire inside of them. | ||
| Making controlled explosions and they've got it down to a point where the car that you just drove, 2.5 seconds, 0-60 in the 911 turbo. | ||
| What the fuck is that? | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| You actually do have to sort of defy physics because in the past you need Very crazy procedures to do something like that, like racing tires and drag slicks. | ||
| You gotta heat them up. | ||
| And they literally have put this stuff called VHD, which is very high traction, which is a spray. | ||
| It's literally like you'd have to do a drag launch in glue. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what it is exactly what the fuck it is. | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
| They put down a puddle of glue, set it on fire, and then you have to do your launch in that. | ||
| Is that why they do those burnouts? | ||
| Yeah, heat up the tires and get them really sticky. | ||
| I thought they were just being dicks. | ||
| Well, they're being awesome. | ||
| I knew what they were doing. | ||
| The 911 Turbo, you just roll up to a stop sign. | ||
| Press one button, left foot brake, right foot gas, and you violate time. | ||
| And you're breaking every law in the country in three seconds. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Three seconds. | ||
| Now, how is this? | ||
| How is it possible that the launch control can make it that much faster? | ||
| What's the 0-60 if you just had it in drive and you stomped on it? | ||
| It wouldn't hold the RPMs or build any boost, right? | ||
| So the 911 turbo is really cool because it builds boost in neutral. | ||
| And it's one of a very few turbo engines that do that. | ||
| And so launch control holds the RPM at the exact optimum speed. | ||
| Builds boost to peak and then just dumps the clutch for you versus being in drive where it starts from one and goes up. | ||
| So how many seconds do you lose when you just do it from drive? | ||
| Say if you did it manually and you shifted gears yourself. | ||
| I'll have to be really honest. | ||
| I've built and driven a lot of 997 turbos and some 991 turbos and I've never launched them with the... | ||
| Launch control? | ||
| No, I always do it with launch control. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Because it's so easy. | ||
| We're all PDK. You know, the old cars that were six speeds, you could launch them, and they were actually quite hard cars to launch. | ||
| For folks who don't know what you're talking about, PDK means, here's the big debate for folks who are on the subway now, again, ready to turn this fucking thing off. | ||
| The big debate amongst people in the car world that enjoy sports cars and the engineering of sports cars is the manual transmission, which is with a third pedal, where you have to press in the clutch to shift the gears, or an automatic transmission, or as Alex said, a PDK. It's some long German word. | ||
| You're supposed to know how to pronounce it. | ||
| Do you know how to pronounce it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's Canadian. | ||
| They're ridiculous for using that name. | ||
| It's German for Porsche double clutch. | ||
| Doppel-clonger. | ||
| Yeah, something like that. | ||
| So they call it PDK. And it's a double clutch, is what it is. | ||
| It's a clutch with a K. It's a kooky clutch. | ||
| It does everything for you perfectly every time. | ||
| Well, I actually own one PDK car, and it was the first launch car. | ||
| It came out in 08, and they even screwed up that. | ||
| What they did is they had these buttons. | ||
| I don't know if you've driven these PDK cars, right? | ||
| They have these buttons right where you put your palms on the wheel, right? | ||
| So you would be, say, in fourth gear, and you're coming into a turn, you want to bump it down to third. | ||
| And go into second, so you go into third, and then as you're turning, your palm would bump that stupid button, and instead of being in fourth, sorry, instead of being in second, you'd be in fourth. | ||
| Without getting into specifics, you're just saying the gear changes around the steering wheel, which is stupid. | ||
| Yeah, which is stupid. | ||
| Instead of on the paddles, like a traditional race car. | ||
| Yeah, it's a dumb move. | ||
| They stuck with that shit like glue, too. | ||
| Porsches are very fucking determined. | ||
| Do you know how to get proper paddles now? | ||
| There's a scam. | ||
| Standard is those dumb buttons on the wheel. | ||
| You gotta spend 500 bucks on the sport steering wheel to get... | ||
| Can they retrofit that? | ||
| Can you buy like one? | ||
| Yeah, we do it. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Okay, well that's a nice thing to know because those buttons are jackass. | ||
| It's bullshit. | ||
| Stupid dog shit design. | ||
| You know how else they screw you guys in America? | ||
| Well, me too now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck yeah. | |
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| You know what they do? | ||
| They take the ability to have any of your radio controls, all these other buttons that you have on the steering wheel. | ||
| If you take the paddle shifter one, they assume that you're having to concentrate so much that you're not allowed to have any of those buttons. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So you can't answer your phone. | ||
| I like that, though. | ||
| That is kind of cool. | ||
| Steering wheel buttons fucking suck. | ||
| I'm not a fan of steering wheel buttons. | ||
| In a Porsche, I agree. | ||
| I don't like them in any cars. | ||
| But you have them in your... | ||
| I have them on the BMW. And the Cayenne, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's got buttons everywhere. | ||
| I tested a car last year. | ||
| I think it had 18 buttons on the fucking steering wheel. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| Too many buttons. | ||
| How many of the buttons have you pushed in your Cayenne? | ||
| I'm not a button pusher, man. | ||
| I'm not into that shit. | ||
| I think there's a certain part of me that really does like to look in an old, like a 69 Mustang interior and appreciate the simplicity. | ||
| Sparsity. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I appreciate, like, remember when Chris Harris built that 911? | ||
| Real simple green 911. Rally car, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, beautiful, beautiful car. | ||
| I loved that car. | ||
| And I loved how simple he made everything. | ||
| The interior just had an old retro stereo, a modern stereo that looks... | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| It was a Mexico Hi-Fi. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it was one of those... | ||
| They stick them in every vintage car. | ||
| Retro, yeah, yeah. | ||
| But you can have, like, navigation on those things. | ||
| It's basically an amp for an iPhone. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| More or less. | ||
| Essentially. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I think it does nav, too. | ||
| I don't know how. | ||
| But you can get that kind of simplicity. | ||
| You don't have to go that old. | ||
| You can get anything up to, like... | ||
| Early 90s almost. | ||
| You can have that same, you know, an 89 Porsche is fucking simple. | ||
| But it doesn't feel, you don't feel like you're driving an antique. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You can still, like, you drive something from the 70s and you don't want to, like, huck it into a corner because you're like, If this goes wrong, I'm dead, you know? | ||
| But late 80s, you can kind of drive it harder and not be kind of... | ||
| That's when they started to figure it out, right? | ||
| With Porsche, it was like the 964, they started to figure out the handling, really, right? | ||
| The one before that. | ||
| Yeah, the suspension was way improved on the 964s, but even in that sense, I mean, Honda and Acura, I mean, the NSX blew away the 964. It blew away the Ferrari, blew away Porsche. | ||
| Yeah, I remember the first time I ever saw an Acura NSX, I was in Boston and some dude drove by with a red one and everybody's jaw dropped. | ||
| They're like, oh my god, we're in the future. | ||
| In 89, that was a fucking the future. | ||
| It was 89, too. | ||
| Yeah, it was. | ||
| It was incredible. | ||
| This guy pulled into Kenmore Square in this fucking red spaceship. | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| Everybody knew it was aluminum. | ||
| It's aluminum. | ||
| All the cars are aluminum. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Now the F-150 is aluminum. | ||
| I was repeating shit that I didn't understand. | ||
| There's baffles in the fuel line. | ||
| I don't even know what the fuck that meant. | ||
| And the rods. | ||
| The rods are titanium. | ||
| Fuel lines, man. | ||
| It's a 2.8 liter. | ||
| No, the rod's a titanium. | ||
| That's really important. | ||
| Well, you know what that was amazing about that car, the Acura NSX, was that it was a fucking Honda. | ||
| And that shit was bulletproof. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| You still see them around with hundreds of thousands of miles. | ||
| Oh, that's why I went back to one after the Porsche fucked me so hard. | ||
| That 996 was so bad. | ||
| By the way, this is, again, where people who are angry at white guys talk about things they own. | ||
| This is when they're tuning off the podcast. | ||
| So we... | ||
| Killed off all the people who aren't car nuts. | ||
| We killed off all the people who don't like white people talking about buying shit. | ||
| Ladies. | ||
| Ladies next. | ||
| Ladies are next. | ||
| Who does that leave? | ||
| No one. | ||
| There's no one. | ||
| Just us. | ||
| It leaves no one? | ||
| It was just an echo chamber, goddammit. | ||
| But those NSXs, the cool thing about them was you knew that they were never going to fuck you. | ||
| Never. | ||
| Those things were... | ||
| I never had a single... | ||
| I had two NSXs. | ||
| I never had a single problem. | ||
| Yeah, you just change the oil, check the tires. | ||
| And I drove them. | ||
| Yeah, all the way to eight grand. | ||
| And they handle beautifully. | ||
| I don't know anyone that has one that has less than 100,000 miles on it. | ||
| They're so great. | ||
| I still have mine. | ||
| Oh yeah, Alex has one. | ||
| Yep, I still have my 91 NSX. Well, they're gonna fuck that car up too. | ||
| They're coming out with this crazy spaceship hybrid with fucking dual clutch transmission. | ||
| They're fucking up the whole thing. | ||
| The simplicity of the original car. | ||
| Just make it fucking light and call it a day. | ||
| Well, what if... | ||
| Here's the thought. | ||
| What if Porsche or someone said, you know what? | ||
| Let's put out a minimalist car. | ||
| Fuck all this nonsense. | ||
| Let's put out a car that has no electronics at all except for the speedometer, the fuel. | ||
| 1973 type shit. | ||
| Where you look at those old classic gauges. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You get limited information, bitch. | ||
| Let's assume everything's working. | ||
| Get on the fucking road and concentrate on driving. | ||
| Well, they had that. | ||
| They had that with the 914, right? | ||
| And they were... | ||
| That's a dogshit car. | ||
| 40 years ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That car's dogshit. | |
| Ugly as fuck. | ||
| It's a terrible idea. | ||
| It's a shitbox. | ||
| It's good to put giant slicks on and Chevy engines in and piss off people who care. | ||
| I know, but it's light. | ||
| It's light. | ||
| I understand it's light, but it's a dogshit car. | ||
| If they had done that with a 993 with a simple leather interior, you know, like no bullshit, no electronic. | ||
| Back in the day, we had the RS America, which was stripped out, right? | ||
| That was dogshit compared to the European ones. | ||
| It was the RS America and the 964. Oh my god, we're into geekdom, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| The 964 is the car before the 993, so we're talking about late 80s. | ||
| They still all look like 911s, that same shape. | ||
| In Europe, we get all the fun stuff. | ||
| We get plastic windows, we get roll bars, door pulls. | ||
| Yeah, but you also have to pay like $11 a gallon for fucking gas. | ||
| I just drove across Europe. | ||
| In US dollars, it was $10.50 a gallon. | ||
| Well, you know, it's so weird how Porsche is so genius. | ||
| I mean, their work is so genius. | ||
| The cars they produce are so fucking masterful. | ||
| Just amazing pieces of engineering. | ||
| They'll stick with these dopey-ass ideas like a pit bull, like the dumb buttons on the fucking wheel that they can't for ever. | ||
| Well, they have their pride, man. | ||
| Yeah, and how about the fact that they have these two incredible cars, the Cayman and the Boxster, and they fuck them by giving them low horsepower because if they jumped them up to where the Porsche 911 is, you'd have a way better car than the 911, and they've got a real fucking problem. | ||
| Alex, how come you haven't stuck a GT3 motor in a Cayman yet? | ||
| That's what I'm saying! | ||
| It's the best car ever. | ||
| I drove one once. | ||
| It was the best car ever. | ||
| Kamen is? | ||
| With a GT3 engine. | ||
| Who has one? | ||
| A guy in New York. | ||
| I had one. | ||
| Who did that? | ||
| A company called Farnbacher Lowels did it. | ||
| Yeah, you don't want to Google that name right now. | ||
| Yeah, their ex-owner, Greg Lowels, just got sentenced to... | ||
| Was it a dude? | ||
| Probably to death. | ||
| Was it 10? | ||
| Because he robbed a church. | ||
| Yeah, 10 years he got. | ||
| He robbed a church. | ||
| He embezzled every fucking dime in that place. | ||
| Why does it have to be him? | ||
| He could be our saver. | ||
| He could be our Obi-Wan. | ||
| His head tech who actually built that car has his own shop in New York now. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| His head tech. | ||
| Holla at me, dude. | ||
| Let's make something real. | ||
| Look it up. | ||
| Let's make something real. | ||
| I think that would be the most ridiculous car ever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It would. | |
| A Cayman with a GT3 engine in it? | ||
| What would that weigh? | ||
| It wouldn't even weigh 3,000 pounds. | ||
| It would be 3,100 probably. | ||
| How about if you fucking... | ||
| You'd still need to do a lot of work on the rear, the suspension. | ||
| You know, like you said, Porsche likes the hamstring, the Cayman. | ||
| They hamstring it with, like, crappy struts. | ||
| Even the new ones? | ||
| I thought the new ones, they made it a lot better. | ||
| They really, really want to defend the 911. Think about how crazy that is. | ||
| You have this incredible design, beautiful car, and you fuck it in the butt. | ||
| Just so that you can keep your old car viable. | ||
| BMW does it too, buddy. | ||
| Do they? | ||
| With which car? | ||
| The 1 Series M. That car has all of the M3 suspension shit, but in a tinier car. | ||
| And it was faster than the M3. So it can out-handle the M3. It's cheaper than the M3. And it has an engine that if you just do-do-do-do on the computer could be faster than an M3 also. | ||
| But they dial it back. | ||
| So I just drove this Dinan one. | ||
| The Dinan one M. Oh, that's right. | ||
| Because Dinan doesn't give a fuck about the M3. I like how you said that, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He don't give a fuck about the M3, dude. | |
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| Steve Dinan don't give a fuck. | ||
| Not a single fuck. | ||
| Or her daddy. | ||
| Or that bitch's mama. | ||
| Not a single fuck was given on that day. | ||
| And so his shit has 450 horsepower in whole fucking ass. | ||
| Now is that- that's available, like right now you can go buy one. | ||
| You can get that from Dinan, yeah. | ||
| How is the gear shifting on that? | ||
| It's manual. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Double clutch? | |
| It's manual. | ||
| They make it in manual. | ||
| See, here's the thing with that car, because the reason- you said you didn't like the new 911 Turbo because it doesn't come in manual. | ||
| I see your point. | ||
| However, cars like the new 911 Turbo and this Dinan thing are so fucking fast that- If you have to shift it yourself, it's actually hard to keep up. | ||
| Is it faster, you think, than the GT3 RS that he made? | ||
| No, but the GT3 RS that he made has longer gearing. | ||
| That's it? | ||
| That's the 1M? That's what they're putting together? | ||
| Yeah, there it is! | ||
| Holy shit, that looks awesome! | ||
| Matter of fact, is that our picture? | ||
| That is a delicious looking car. | ||
| Isn't that tasty? | ||
| I bet that's cheap as fuck too, right? | ||
| You could pick up the car right now for about $55,000 and then $20,000 more for the kit. | ||
| They held their value pretty well. | ||
| I thought it was lower than that. | ||
| For some reason I thought that was like their entry level $35,000 car. | ||
| It's the top of the bottoms. | ||
| Oh, I see. | ||
| So they make an M. What is the normal M that comes from BMW? 330 horsepower. | ||
| That's still pretty fucking fun. | ||
| Yeah, you can tune all the turbo cars, you know, the hairdryers. | ||
| You can tune them, do some computer work, and you can add more boost. | ||
| So the 330, is that a naturally aspirated? | ||
| Twin turbo 6. Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, that's why the other ones are so fast, because they just boost the hell out of them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That must be an... | ||
| Enormously fun car to drive. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's stupid, stupid, stupid fast. | ||
| I told you earlier, I tried to keep on a photo shoot with a 3.8 RS, a 4.0 RS, and an R4.1. | ||
| I was following in a 1M, the journalist that was doing the story. | ||
| He owns one. | ||
| Just trying to keep up, the car was going... | ||
| All over the road, sideways. | ||
| And, you know, I basically got all four tires bald at the end of the day. | ||
| Is it really that badass of a fucking car? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| There's very few cars. | ||
| It's like an American muscle car, but a European version of it, right? | ||
| Well, I'm looking for, bitch. | ||
| Because we make everything smaller there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I don't know about that. | ||
| Not an American muscle car. | ||
| No, AMGs are like German muscle cars. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But this thing, it's... | ||
| It's pretty nuts. | ||
| I didn't even see this. | ||
| It's pretty nuts. | ||
| I love the idea. | ||
| I mean, it's not a fucking Porsche, but it's small and really fast and has, you know, handled nicely and stuff. | ||
| It kind of looks like an Accordion 3 series, right? | ||
| It's kind of like squished. | ||
| A little bit, yeah. | ||
| But they sold only a limited number of them here in the U.S., and they immediately started going up in value. | ||
| It's like a stubby M3, you know? | ||
| So now they're like five to eight grand over MSRP two years. | ||
| Well, I think it shows this fucking trend that's going on where people, this minimalist trend, where people are looking at all this shit on their computer. | ||
| I have a buddy who has a Tesla. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know, you don't have any buttons. | ||
| You just talk to that fucking thing. | ||
| You tell it what the climate you want. | ||
| You tell it where to go. | ||
| He, like, used it as a Google search. | ||
| It has its own 3G engine. | ||
| 3G, though, which is whack. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Are they not on 4G yet? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, Matt found it on fucking 3G. Like cave people. | |
| No LTE in that? | ||
| So, like, he can be in the car and go, the black keys. | ||
| And then, it's Spotify. | ||
| It pulls up the black keys. | ||
| And the play number one, boom, starts playing a song. | ||
| I'm, like, talking to my fucking car. | ||
| Yeah, I don't need to be talking to my fucking car. | ||
| I'm the fucking Michael Knight or something, right? | ||
| Well, that's one of the things that I really love about the M3 is it has that little dial where you have buttons around the dial. | ||
| One's your phone, one's your nav, and it's super easy to get to. | ||
| Hot buttons. | ||
| Hot buttons are key. | ||
| It's a much better system than the Porsche. | ||
| The Porsche, you know, has everything set in perfect position for driving, without a doubt. | ||
| Yeah, they don't want any... | ||
| But all that other ergonomics and shit's over there. | ||
| They didn't even give you cup holders until, like, 98 in the fucking 90s. | ||
| Well, they hide them behind, like, a carbon fiber piece now, you know? | ||
| It's actually nice of them. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| I like that, too. | ||
| It's cool. | ||
| BMW has it, too. | ||
| You just press a button and it pops out. | ||
| Your car is a good cup holder, Angelo. | ||
| I put my coffee in it this morning, and then I was doing a pretty good clip up Angela's Crest, and the coffee... | ||
| See, my Corvette has the worst cup holders known to man. | ||
| I call it the G-meter, because when you turn left, your beverage goes right, and it just goes all over your fucking floor. | ||
| Your Corvette is an awesome piece of machinery, too. | ||
| It is pretty cool. | ||
| You have a Corvette that you bought when you graduated high school, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you still have it, and you still drive it all the time. | ||
| I hit 30,000 miles two weeks ago. | ||
| So 130? | ||
| No, no, 30. Just 30? | ||
| 30. 30 ever. | ||
| That's the C5, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's a 98. Yep. | ||
| You just hit 30,000 miles? | ||
| How is that possible? | ||
| We always... | ||
| Literally, there's always, like, shit in our house to drive. | ||
| I just, like... | ||
| Oh, I see. | ||
| It's never been a first car. | ||
| It's always kind of... | ||
| But that's amazing. | ||
| You bought this fucking car in the 1980s. | ||
| You might have, like, one of the best 1980s Corvettes on the market. | ||
| It's a 98, not an 80. Yeah, it's a 98. But yeah, it's probably up there at this point. | ||
| So what year did you buy? | ||
| Did you buy it new in 98? | ||
| New in 98. And all the stuff that you had done to it, like the roll bar and the engine modifications? | ||
| It was stock for, like... | ||
| Eight years and that was all done in 06 and I haven't done shit since. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It's a great car. | ||
| It's a fun car. | ||
| Corvettes are awesome because they just, they fucking work. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| The interior is made of shitty plastic, like yeah, and when you close the door it sounds like Legos are rattling around in there, you know. | ||
| It's not a 911, but it's got really good balance and really good power, and it just works all the time. | ||
| It's a lot like a fanny pack. | ||
| You can't give a fuck what you look like. | ||
| You just gotta accept how awesome it is to you. | ||
| It's awesome to me. | ||
| I don't give a fuck what you see. | ||
| There's your car right there. | ||
| Hey, that is my car. | ||
| Oh, look, with my fucking bipolar psycho ex-girlfriend in the passenger seat. | ||
| Shazam! | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Don't give out any information. | ||
| Ditch the chick, kept the car. | ||
| Good move. | ||
| Always a good move. | ||
| Cars will rarely tell you what to do. | ||
| They'll fucking hit you. | ||
| Sometimes they're like, I need some gas. | ||
| But that's about it. | ||
| Corvettes have gone a lot, lot better, man. | ||
| They're good. | ||
| They're the fanny pack of the automotive world. | ||
| They're good platforms to start your build. | ||
| You start from a Corvette, take everything the GM cheaped out on, which is a lot, and then make that better, and then you've got a really good car. | ||
| Yeah, I like the ZR1 the best, like some of my customers have them. | ||
| Well, better than that, even. | ||
| No, no, you know what it is? | ||
| You sit in the car, and you're like, this is a ZR1, and it has a Chevy Cobalt steering wheel. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They've fixed that. | ||
| But better than that. | ||
| Was that one that you drove? | ||
| The race car company, what is it? | ||
| Oh, the AVI Racing, the tube frame? | ||
| No, the guys who make their own body, it's a bit wider, all carbon fiber. | ||
| Oh, the Pratt& Miller C6RS thing, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, which is a crazy idea, but sort of a Shark Works situation. | ||
| Actually, it's pretty close, yeah. | ||
| They took a great car, the ZR1, and they said, you know what, here's what we're going to do. | ||
| We're going to go with a naturally aspirated engine. | ||
| We're going to make that bitch about 600 motherfucking horsepower. | ||
| Was it 8 liters? | ||
| More like a demon. | ||
| I think that was an 8-liter KJK. Pull it up. | ||
| Pull it up, Jamie. | ||
| What is the name of the video? | ||
| Pratt Miller C6RS. Is it Smoky Tire? | ||
| Yeah, it's on the Smoky Tire. | ||
| I think it's fucking 8-liter V8. It's a gorgeous car. | ||
| It's a gorgeous, gorgeous car. | ||
| And it's super-duper fucking expensive, too, right? | ||
| Yeah, I think it was 200. Oh my god, look how thin I was there. | ||
| Sexy bitch, look at you. | ||
| I was so fucking thin there. | ||
| How old were you, Matt? | ||
| This is like five years ago. | ||
| You can still get there, dude. | ||
| You're breathing. | ||
| Okay, you're still alive. | ||
| Let's not give up out of the game. | ||
| Don't tap out before it's too late. | ||
| No, so this thing, yeah, it's all carbon fiber body. | ||
| It's like eight inches wider than a regular Corvette. | ||
| The noise. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, the noise. | ||
| So Pratt& Miller basically is the company that builds GM's factory race cars. | ||
| And so they built sort of a street homologation kind of special of the race car. | ||
| And what they did was they made a new body that was like a really high quality carbon fiber and a super high quality leather interior, which is something that these cars were really missing. | ||
| Yeah, they lacked that stuff. | ||
| It's hilarious though. | ||
| I haven't looked at this video in a while. | ||
| Looking at it now, it's fucking so silly to think that that was a $200,000 car though. | ||
| Is that what it was? | ||
| $200,000? | ||
| 8.2 liters, yeah. | ||
| Dude, if I had $200,000 burning a hole in my pocket, I might go right to that. | ||
| Dude, why not $400? | ||
| They built seven of these. | ||
| A friend of mine has sold four of them. | ||
| But that's a mean, mean car, man. | ||
| It's so beautiful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's like a perfect American muscle car. | ||
| It's still got that dog shit steering wheel. | ||
| There's your cobalt steering wheel. | ||
| Colored with leather, though. | ||
| That was leather and stitched. | ||
| I don't know, like a steering wheel is like a mouse, you know, like for a computer. | ||
| Why have you a shitty steering wheel? | ||
| Why have a shitty mouse? | ||
| I want a good mouse. | ||
| It's really surprising how many people complain about something like a steering wheel and people go, what do you give a fuck, bro? | ||
| And it's like, my hands are literally on this the entire time I own this car. | ||
| Also, it gives you information about a car, like those Magnus Walker Porsches with the Momo Prototipo steering wheels. | ||
| There's something about those old-school steering wheels, like you hold it on to them, and you're actually driving a car. | ||
| Well, they don't have any filters, right? | ||
| There's no filters. | ||
| No filter. | ||
| It's just straight there. | ||
| Leather, metal, you're holding on to this thing. | ||
| But it's also like, you're looking down at that thing, and it gives you like, yeah, this is a fucking 1972 RS, whatever the hell he calls those things. | ||
| The best, you get like a 59 Caddy with the fucking wheel that's like a steamship wheel, you know what I mean? | ||
| You're like, tacking! | ||
| Well, those were boats. | ||
| Isn't it interesting that they basically had nautical steering wheels and they were fucking boats? | ||
| Should have had a fucking tiller then, huh? | ||
| They were ridiculous. | ||
| And that was just a few decades ago. | ||
| A few decades ago. | ||
| How fucking cool were we in the late 50s? | ||
| Remember when America was fucking cool? | ||
| We weren't like the shitbags of the fucking world. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Everyone didn't hate us. | ||
| They wanted our shit and not just like... | ||
| Nah, you guys hate yourselves. | ||
| We should. | ||
| We're horrible. | ||
| He's got a lot of weird misconceptions about America. | ||
| Have you noticed that? | ||
| Not to gang up on him. | ||
| You and me on Team America here. | ||
| This fucking wacky Brit's got some crazy ideas about us. | ||
| Okay, I found out you guys can play pool. | ||
| I found out you guys can drive. | ||
| But listen, man. | ||
| No, you can drive, dude. | ||
| Just so everyone knows. | ||
| You can play pool, too. | ||
| You just got to pay attention to where that ball's going. | ||
| I get trying to give you some pointers. | ||
| Dude told me he plays good pool. | ||
| And a guy tells you he plays good. | ||
| He played really good pool. | ||
| He told me he played really good. | ||
| I go, how good do you play? | ||
| He goes, I can play really good. | ||
| I said I used to play well. | ||
| I don't recall that. | ||
| I don't recall you saying you play really good. | ||
| I said I did play well. | ||
| Sorry, that's what I said. | ||
| Yeah, I did play. | ||
| So it was past tense, but I was thinking I was going to be better when we started playing. | ||
| Analysis of this statement. | ||
| I just knocked a couple balls around the table and he's making all these judgments about me. | ||
| Well, because you were holding it like an American. | ||
| You were holding the cue like, well, we play snooker. | ||
| Remember when it was, first it was best of five and then it became 5-0. | ||
| No, Hey, hey. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| In all fairness, the last game, there was only one little ball left. | ||
| It didn't matter. | ||
| You were never going to get that ball in. | ||
| I was going to get the ball. | ||
| The last game, there was one ball in. | ||
| I just lost a little ball. | ||
| That ball was never going in. | ||
| It was going. | ||
| It was going. | ||
| I just didn't get to it. | ||
| Even if you got to it, the idea of you getting to it and then getting to the eight ball is beyond preposterous. | ||
| I know, dude. | ||
| They weren't anywhere near each other. | ||
| I was in no danger. | ||
| I told you, man. | ||
| I was just waiting. | ||
| The tightness of the pocket. | ||
| You guys have weird, like, super tight pockets in the U.S. We don't play that way. | ||
| Well, this is table, really. | ||
| This is way tighter than a regular table. | ||
| A regular table has a 5-inch pocket that's a 4-inch pocket. | ||
| And Ernesto Dominguez, who's a big player in LA, like pro player, and he's also a great table mechanic. | ||
| And him and his son, Oscar, who's another pro player, they put together these, like, an Ernesto cut table, like a big deal. | ||
| He's the master when it comes to putting together those Brunswick. | ||
| So this guy, Donnie Wessels, sold it to me. | ||
| It's a 1972, 1973 table. | ||
| It's very mod. | ||
| Yeah, it's really cool. | ||
| My first shot, I don't know if you can remember that, because it was a while ago, but my first shot. | ||
| Oh, I remember it so well. | ||
| Dude, I hit it hard. | ||
| You say, why'd you hit it so hard, right? | ||
| And on a normal table, it had gone in, right? | ||
| And instead it just went and, you know, did that little pinball thing. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Can we talk about anything else? | ||
| That doesn't matter. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| The ball going in or not does not matter to Americans. | ||
| Okay, so Americans can play pool. | ||
| What Americans are getting right now is like a peek into your madness. | ||
| The same madness that led you to be this master engineer and improver of Porsches leads you to be a crazy person if you fucking miss a shot on a pool table. | ||
| You're talking about a goddamn podcast two hours later. | ||
| Well, the reason why that one didn't go in is because I'm not American! | ||
| The sun was in the wrong place on the horizon and I had Vaseline on my fingernails. | ||
| You're the best American pool player that I've played against. | ||
| Well, then you ain't playing against shit because I'm fucking terrible compared to like a real good pool player. | ||
| So you can't go running around... | ||
| It's home field advantage. | ||
| No, you can't... | ||
| Please. | ||
| You can't go running around telling people you're good at pool. | ||
| I wouldn't, but I was doing this thing where, you know, like, man, Americans always say they're good at stuff, right? | ||
| And then I was just testing you a little... | ||
| You gotta D-bag your M5 for me. | ||
| I don't understand why anybody would say Americans always do this and British people always do... | ||
| Every British person I met has been at least partially unique and individual in their own personality traits, the way they behave. | ||
| So when someone starts saying, every American does this, I go, that is a poorly thought out idea, my friend. | ||
| I thought, well, I wanted to see if it was furniture or the real deal, and I found out it was the real deal. | ||
| Furniture or the real deal? | ||
| I found out it was the real deal. | ||
| Four inch pockets, bro! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, bro. | |
| Four inch pockets, bro. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| I just met my first actually, like, dumb English person. | ||
| We were just in the UK. No, I've never... | ||
| Dude, our education system is pretty good. | ||
| I don't spend a ton of time in the UK, but the English accent makes you sound smarter than you are, even if you're not that smart. | ||
| We were just in the UK, and a waiter... | ||
| We had trouble counting the number of people at our table. | ||
| There were five. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That's a tough one. | ||
| That's a tough one. | ||
| And despite the accent, I was like, huh, you're fucking stupid, aren't you? | ||
| What part of the UK was that? | ||
| Take it from the top. | ||
| Where were we? | ||
| One. | ||
| We've got one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woking. | |
| Was it Woking? | ||
| Two. | ||
| There's this place called London. | ||
| It was where they built McLaren's. | ||
| Yeah, okay. | ||
| Maybe they worked them too much and the guy was tired. | ||
| He left it all on the field. | ||
| You know how you get so tired you can't even remember your own name? | ||
| What's your name, sir? | ||
| Uh... | ||
| Matt Ferrer. | ||
| If you're in England, it's Clive. | ||
| You can't remember how to count to five. | ||
| Head trauma. | ||
| Could have been a boxer when he was young. | ||
| Could be catching up to him. | ||
| You've explained this particular Englishman's stupidity, possibly. | ||
| Just trying to give him the outs. | ||
| All the outs he deserves. | ||
| Hands up. | ||
| You can play full deep. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The benefit of... | |
| He's still going back and going to the bucket hole! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit! | |
| Alex Ross and we don't mix together so smoothly. | ||
| This is something we found out today. | ||
| Some people, you give it to them and it releases something inside of them that they should keep in. | ||
| They should keep it collected and tucked away. | ||
| Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea. | ||
| That's a badass car, though, you make, sir. | ||
| You make a fucking... | ||
| There's a photo of it right there. | ||
| No more photos there, fella. | ||
| So, you've been in this car making business for, like, how long now? | ||
| Since basically 05. 05. And before that, I thought this was hilarious, you used to be in the video game world and you were actually on Screensavers. | ||
| Yeah, I was. | ||
| I had segments on there. | ||
| I used to love that show. | ||
| That show was great. | ||
| Leo Laporte. | ||
| Leo Laporte and Pat Norton. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was a great show. | ||
| I used to love that show. | ||
| I was a total uber geek. | ||
| I used to build my own PCs. | ||
| That was the show of the first Hot Nerds too, right? | ||
| They had those Hot Nerd girls. | ||
| Oh yeah, they did. | ||
| They all went on to do... | ||
| How long ago was this? | ||
| Am I too young? | ||
| Yeah, you weren't born yet. | ||
| It was probably like the early 2000s, right? | ||
| Late 90s, early 2000s. | ||
| Late 90s? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was on TV. Yeah, it was on real TV. Tech show on TV. It was the only one of its kind. | ||
| It was kind of like the top gear of PC stuff. | ||
| You almost said without the buffoonery. | ||
| That's what you were going to say. | ||
| You were going to shit all over Jeremy Clarkson right here on this podcast. | ||
| Your fellow Englishman. | ||
| I know what you're doing. | ||
| You're about to go down. | ||
| He doesn't like Porsches and he just says it all the time. | ||
| So it's hard to see eye-eye with it. | ||
| But he's a character. | ||
| Don't you think he's at least partially a character? | ||
| He drove a 911 Turbo and compared it to the 4.5, not the 4.5.8, the 4.30, remember? | ||
| And he loved it. | ||
| He was ranting and raving about how fantastic it is. | ||
| He smoked the 4.30, if I remember properly. | ||
| But he was just talking about how... | ||
| But he's also crashed two GT3s. | ||
| He has. | ||
| But he left the shots in. | ||
| He didn't edit it out of the film. | ||
| But then he blamed the car. | ||
| Like I blamed the pool table. | ||
| That's what he does. | ||
| You are not one to judge someone else for making excuses. | ||
| You've never made an excuse in your life, have you? | ||
| I want to hear your excuse for not making any excuses. | ||
| Catholic boarding school. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| That's where I go with that. | ||
| In fairness, he crashed Porsches and made fun of himself when he did it. | ||
| He said, because these cars, I don't like these cars because they don't tolerate fools. | ||
| And I am a fool. | ||
| That's a good line. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| I mean, he drives like a fucking maniac. | ||
| That's half of the fun of him, is that he's this kind of unhinged dude who drives like a maniac. | ||
| Last season he shat on a BMW because he spun it in a straight line. | ||
| It was raining, and he just spun the car, and his conclusion was that the car sucked. | ||
| Well, the thing is, though, his kind of car is different than what I would like. | ||
| His kind of car is indeed one that makes smoke everywhere, goes sideways. | ||
| That's why he likes all the big AMGs, and that's fun. | ||
| I kind of like traction and getting into rhythm and driving through canyons, so that's why I like Porsches. | ||
| Yeah, you know, I think a car that makes unnecessary burnouts is a kind of stupid car. | ||
| It's fun for a bit, right? | ||
| Like a Shelby. | ||
| They're fun cars. | ||
| But they're kind of stupid. | ||
| Like, that's fucking retarded. | ||
| You're not in control of it. | ||
| The whole thing is you're in control of something you're not in control of. | ||
| You're kind of in control of it, but it's going sideways. | ||
| It's supposed to go straight. | ||
| It's like bull riding with a car. | ||
| Well, you know, like how I got into the car thing, too. | ||
| I mean, I took a 996 Turbo, you know, and I went drag racing with it. | ||
| Talk about stupid, right? | ||
| An English guy going to a drag strip. | ||
| What difference does it make if you're English, Iranian, Polish? | ||
| Okay, English guys don't drag race. | ||
| They don't? | ||
| We go around, you know, tracks and stuff. | ||
| There's a bunch of Englishmen who are going to be fucking knocking on your Twitter door. | ||
| I've been drag racing since before, you and your daddy's dick. | ||
| A friend of mine's got a 69 Charger in England who drag races. | ||
| He's got a parachute on that shit. | ||
| So there you go. | ||
| Talking nonsense again. | ||
| It's all this fucking English people don't do this shit. | ||
| Selling your own country but down a river. | ||
| Calling Jeremy Clarkson a scoundrel or some such. | ||
| He just doesn't like horses. | ||
| He's always a funny guy, man. | ||
| He doesn't need to like horses. | ||
| There's probably a lot of music he likes that I think is dog shit. | ||
| We don't need to like the same goddamn things. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| He's like furniture in a way. | ||
| He's just been around. | ||
| You sit on it. | ||
| You use it. | ||
| And you appreciate it. | ||
| Let's be real about what's going on here. | ||
| You're a Porsche fanboy. | ||
| I am. | ||
| I am. | ||
| But I'm wearing a Honda shirt. | ||
| You are. | ||
| It's okay to be a Porsche fanboy. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| Yeah, they do make good cars. | ||
| They make the best cars. | ||
| I think they make the best cars. | ||
| They make the most satisfying and shitty cars. | ||
| You know what I wish they wouldn't do? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Is make four-door cars and sedans and all that other shit. | ||
| You're talking out of your nonsense hole because you need to get a hold of one of those Panamaras and stomp that fucking thing on the highway. | ||
| I launched stomp that motherfucker on the highway and watch time bend in front of your eyes while you're driving a fucking sedan. | ||
| You're in some cozy executive chair with plush leather and you're violating time. | ||
| Panamera Turbo. | ||
| The new ones are nice. | ||
| They're loud and shit, too. | ||
| They make all kinds of good noises now. | ||
| It's only $190,000. | ||
| I drove one, $227,000. | ||
| Long wheelbase, Turbo S with ceramics, and the full interior rear. | ||
| We were going to get one to do development on, right? | ||
| Before it came out, we put in an order. | ||
| What could you possibly do to that thing? | ||
| You can add software, you can add exhaust because it's a turbocharged car, right? | ||
| We add about 100 horsepower to those cars usually. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| They can make like 700 out of those things. | ||
| But I totaled up the bill for the build sheet because I wanted ceramics to go out of that. | ||
| Those are like carbon ceramic brakes for geeks. | ||
| They don't create any dust and they don't heat up. | ||
| They're great brakes. | ||
| They feel like the best brakes ever. | ||
| They last mostly forever. | ||
| Except if you go to the racetrack. | ||
| But anyway, yeah, the bill was like 190k. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow, $190,000 over. | ||
| For a four-door car. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And you know how those four-door cars are. | ||
| You buy them, and then two, three years later, they're worth nothing. | ||
| You can't get rid of them. | ||
| What is a 2010 Panamera Turbo is going for now? | ||
| Can you get them for like $70,000 yet? | ||
| Around, yeah. | ||
| Almost. | ||
| My dad had a Cayenne Turbo, which I know you've got. | ||
| That was like $108,000 new in 2005, and he sold it for $28,000. | ||
| In 09. That's insane. | ||
| The dealer offered him 20 even on trade. | ||
| I remember there was one of my customers that had like 8 different Cayennes, because he's had 911 turbos, but he also has Cayennes. | ||
| And one of them was the Cayenne Turbo S, and it did. | ||
| It stickered up to like 160 something. | ||
| It had ceramics, everything. | ||
| Aero kit. | ||
| Ceramics? | ||
| Yeah, ceramics. | ||
| One of the things that I like about American cars is there's a disaster going on right now with American cars. | ||
| There's a long period of just fucking terrible ideas and shitty design and shit build quality. | ||
| But at least there's a series of cars that have stuck with a manual transmission only. | ||
| The Shelby GT500, the Viper... | ||
| You can't get a fucking automatic transmission. | ||
| Can you imagine an automatic Viper? | ||
| They'll make it. | ||
| It's a matter of time. | ||
| You can still get manual Corvettes, too. | ||
| You can start getting the double clutch Corvette, which I think is... | ||
| No, it's not a double clutch. | ||
| It's just auto. | ||
| Oh, it's still auto? | ||
| It's a torque converter auto. | ||
| I thought the new one was a double clutch. | ||
| I thought the first... | ||
| The one that you drove- no, Chris Harris drove one in a 911. That was an auto. | ||
| That was an auto. | ||
| It was a fucking auto. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was an auto. | |
| Dog shit. | ||
| That's such dog shit. | ||
| That auto sucks, too. | ||
| But you can get it in stick. | ||
| Like, you can get it. | ||
| As long as you can get it, it's fine. | ||
| But the new ones, apparently, you've driven it. | ||
| Which? | ||
| Jump up. | ||
| Huge jump. | ||
| The new Corvettes. | ||
| The new Corvettes are great. | ||
| The one I drove had the performance pack on it, the magnetic ride, the shocks. | ||
| GM has the coolest shocks in the world. | ||
| They're so cool that Ferrari licenses the design. | ||
| It's called... | ||
| Magnetic ride control. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| So the shocks have a magnetic fluid in the shock as opposed to a hydraulic fluid or whatever that they normally use. | ||
| And they send different levels of current through there to make it soft or firm and variable. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Right? | ||
| And Ferrari uses them on the F12, the 458, all the Ferraris use them. | ||
| Yeah, they had that cool advert where they had a Cadillac CTS-V going around a racetrack, and it was following a Ferrari. | ||
| I thought that was pretty cool how they kind of worked together, and they actually advertised a Ferrari and a Cadillac together. | ||
| I bet it was part of the licensing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, that was another cool move by GM when they put out the Z28, or the Z06. Yeah. | ||
| The Z28 also, only standard, right? | ||
| They don't have a double charge. | ||
| No manual. | ||
| Only manual. | ||
| The new Z28 is actually... | ||
| Think about that. | ||
| The Viper, GT500, the Corvette Z06, and the Corvette ZR1. Yeah. | ||
| All only manual. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| At least they held onto that. | ||
| They do. | ||
| Hats off to that. | ||
| But actually, the new Z28, I'm not a Camaro guy. | ||
| I didn't grow up with any Camaros or anything. | ||
| We didn't have them. | ||
| But the new Z28, people should check out if they're into fun track cars. | ||
| Because even guys that have GT3s now that can't drive them, the new one, nobody can drive those. | ||
| Porsche's called them and said to all 756 of the ones delivered, park your car. | ||
| We're coming to get it. | ||
| We're going to replace your engine. | ||
| There's a problem. | ||
| A lot of those guys... | ||
| Dude, it's gotten worse. | ||
| A lot of those guys are basically going and buying Z28s. | ||
| So they gave their car back? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The Z28s, Harris just got one in ADK and drove it. | ||
| Did he really? | ||
| I flew all the way to New York to drive it from LA, and it was raining at the track, and they wouldn't let me drive it. | ||
| I had flown across the country, and they go, nope, and I go, like, come on, and they said it was worthless in the wet. | ||
| But you know what people have said, though, they've driven it, that have had GT3s? | ||
| Well, no, but they immediately, because the new GT3 is, you know, basically, it's PDK, And then they go back into a Z28 and they're just having fun because it's manual. | ||
| With a manual transmission. | ||
| Yeah, it's better. | ||
| Wake up. | ||
| It's more fun. | ||
| We're not going to be driving soon. | ||
| You're not going to be allowed to do anything. | ||
| You'll just be sitting in there reading your newspaper. | ||
| That was an episode of Jeremy Clarkson when he was driving the Z06 or when he was driving the ZR1. Yeah, yeah. | ||
| He was like, are you listening, Ferrari? | ||
| You know, like just a regular manual transmission. | ||
| Why don't you make one of those? | ||
| A Ferrari with a manual gearbox is so fun. | ||
| It's so dark that they're canceling all that stuff. | ||
| It's the customer's fault. | ||
| When they started offering paddles instead of a stick, the take rate was like 95%. | ||
| You know what I think it is, man? | ||
| It's another example. | ||
| Of the shitheads taking over the earth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| It's like these rich people, all of them have terrible taste. | ||
| They all do. | ||
| It's like, what's going on here? | ||
| It's the people that are becoming really rich. | ||
| LA's the fucking worst, man. | ||
| Everyone puts rims on their shit. | ||
| They buy a fucking $300,000 Ferrari and they put fucking rims on it. | ||
| Some of those rims are so gross, too. | ||
| Like the 22-inch rims. | ||
| They're idiots. | ||
| Where they're like wagon wheels and shit. | ||
| Fucking West Coast Customs and Platinum Motorsport garbage. | ||
| You obviously haven't visited Oakland, then, have you? | ||
| I've been visiting Oakland, sure. | ||
| Oh, that's where you get some really good rides. | ||
| Remember Spinners? | ||
| Oh, dude! | ||
| Floaters, dude! | ||
| Floaters! | ||
| I didn't have them, but no. | ||
| But I lived in New York, right? | ||
| And Latrell Sprewell lived right up the street from my parents. | ||
| And remember back in the day, the Spinners? | ||
| Sprewell bought the company. | ||
| That made those, and they were called Sprewells for like 10 years. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Remember everyone used to call Spinners Sprewells back then? | ||
| No, that was probably only your neighborhood. | ||
| It's probably because I was in New York and Sprewell played for the fucking Knicks. | ||
| You were probably video gaming then anyway. | ||
| Yeah, Sprewells was crazy. | ||
| I remember, I just, I never heard that, call them that. | ||
| I just heard Spinners. | ||
| And there was the opposite? | ||
| Yeah, the Floaters. | ||
| No, the Floaters. | ||
| Remember the Floaters? | ||
| Well, floaters, I think I called them stayers. | ||
| You called them stayers? | ||
| They were the opposite, because the car would drive, but the rim would stay. | ||
| Yeah, I remember that. | ||
| Those were pretty cool, right? | ||
| Yeah, people gave up on that shit quick. | ||
| Yeah, high-maintenance rims. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it's also like any time you hit a pothole, there was no padding. | ||
| You would blow out tires left and right. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| But in Porsche's defense, you know, the other reason they went to PDK and got rid of the six-speed was a lot of people can't drive the car properly. | ||
| And what happens is when you take the control away from people and the ability to do something wrong, like misshift or money shift, as you call it, you know, and blow up your engine and then some, you know, Somebody goes back with their car and says, oh, I want you to warranty it and fix it. | ||
| Let's nerf the world, Alex Ross. | ||
| People can't handle it. | ||
| Let's nerf the world. | ||
| They can't get a manual transmission. | ||
| My grandfather drove a fucking three on the column. | ||
| They used to have some crazy gearboxes back in the day. | ||
| I just read a manual of how to drive a Model T. There's nothing like what you think it would be. | ||
| What was it like? | ||
| There's a pedal, but it's just... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is it online? | |
| Yeah, you're just going. | ||
| You put it in gear, and there's no... | ||
| You're just going. | ||
| It has a roller thing, right? | ||
| Just go. | ||
| Okay, so it's one gear. | ||
| It's two gears. | ||
| Two gears. | ||
| Does it shift itself, or do you shift? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Is there a clutch? | ||
| Yes, there's a clutch. | ||
| But there's also, like, you have to adjust the spark advance and the ignition timing. | ||
| While you're driving? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| There's all kinds of stuff going on. | ||
| Okay, okay. | ||
| How many different various functions that don't exist? | ||
| Oh, there's a chart. | ||
| This is it right here? | ||
| Yeah, where's the chart? | ||
| Keeps going. | ||
| This is the instructions of how to drive a Model T. But there's a chart that shows all the different positions of the Spark Advance levers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Keep going. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| And it's a huge undertaking to drive a Model T. Wow. | ||
| So pretty much it would have been easier to fly a plane instead of this. | ||
| I don't know where the chart is. | ||
| There's so many diagrams and shit. | ||
| Look up like a Model T, a Spark Advance chart or something. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's crazy the amount of things that people had to do to drive a car. | ||
| Just to get a car to fucking move. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| So how many different things? | ||
| You're saying adjust the what? | ||
| So they had like a centrifugal type clutch. | ||
| So there was no accelerator pedal. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Look, these are all the different... | ||
| So there's two levers. | ||
| And these are all the different possible positions, and there are nine possible combinations of positions for depending on how fast you want to go. | ||
| So that lever on the right, I believe, is actually your throttle. | ||
| There's no gas pedal. | ||
| That lever is your throttle. | ||
| So you just set that, and it's like cruise control all the time. | ||
| And then you have high gear and low gear. | ||
| It's like a crank start. | ||
| Yeah, see? | ||
| The left lever is spark advance. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| For a speed of 10 miles per hour on high gear, leave spark advance 5 notches. | ||
| Open gas 2 or 3 notches. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| So that's what you do to maintain 10 miles an hour. | ||
| You know how many people complain when this went away? | ||
| Well, you don't even adjust your spark. | ||
| That's what I'm saying! | ||
| I don't even feel like I'm driving a car anymore. | ||
| That's exactly what it is. | ||
| I don't even start my engine with a flint. | ||
| You kids and your key ignitions. | ||
| They're out there with a fucking rock and a file trying to start the car. | ||
| Tink, tink, tink, vroom. | ||
| You ever see Leno in his steam cars? | ||
| You gotta light a boiler 45 minutes before you go in. | ||
| Does he really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh my god, that's insane. | ||
| He has to heat up like a fucking keg of water. | ||
| Leno has probably the dopest individual garage ever. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| He's got a warehouse filled with... | ||
| A warehouse? | ||
| Like seven, you mean? | ||
| Seven warehouses? | ||
| I think it's two airplane hangers. | ||
| Imagine if we found out that Leno was just selling coke the entire time. | ||
| How else is he getting this money? | ||
| I mean, this is too much money. | ||
| It doesn't even make sense. | ||
| He says that he doesn't spend his Tonight Show money. | ||
| He only spends his stand-up money. | ||
| Yeah, which is insane. | ||
| So he's just sitting on stockpiles of Tonight Show cash. | ||
| Unbelievable car. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Crazy. | |
| I can't even imagine how much money that's the case. | ||
| Because he was the host of the Tonight Show for, what, decades? | ||
| I mean, his car collection is $100 million. | ||
| Well, just, yeah. | ||
| $100 million? | ||
| $100 million is what his car collection's worth. | ||
| And he also has like 220 bikes, too. | ||
| Ralph Lauren's car collection is worth $500 million if you want to feel really sick. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How's that possible? | ||
| Ralph Lauren has 65 cars worth $500 million. | ||
| Do the math on that shit. | ||
| That's the craziest thing ever in my life. | ||
| It's an average value of like eight-something million. | ||
| Are those all those like old dogshit Mercedes-Benz that are worth a million dollars each? | ||
| No, they're like, he has one of every Ferrari that won Le Mans for like ten fucking years. | ||
| Oh, he's one of those assholes. | ||
| Those cars are old as fuck and almost useless. | ||
| He does drive them all, though. | ||
| He'd save $7 million for Steve McQueen's car. | ||
| Well, you're a fucking idiot, because Steve wouldn't drive it if he was alive today. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| If he was alive today, he'd go to Shark Works to get himself a fucking real car. | ||
| You think Steve McQueen would have one of those dogshit old James Dean killing fucking shitboxes? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That is Steve McQueen's car. | |
| Yeah, because that's all that was available back then. | ||
| Duh! | ||
| If Steve McQueen was alive today, he'd be driving a fucking Cayenne. | ||
| Look at those tires, man. | ||
| Look at those tires. | ||
| He'd be a Panamera Turbo on rims. | ||
| He'd be a Panamera Turbo at 26 inches. | ||
| He'd have spinners. | ||
| Color-coded to match the car's interior. | ||
| They spinnin'! | ||
| Yeah, he'd be fuckin'... | ||
| Would Steve McQueen have gone for the painted key option? | ||
| He would have gone for the matte black. | ||
| Oh, these are Ralph's cars. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| So that's 50 million. | ||
| What? | ||
| That is a Bugatti. | ||
| I'd give you 10 bucks for it, then I'd sell it for 20 and be done with it. | ||
| There's three of those in the world. | ||
| Well, let's blow it up and make it two. | ||
| It's like a goddamn dodo bird. | ||
| Leno's got one. | ||
| If I found a dodo bird today, if there was only one left, I'd hit it with a fucking rock. | ||
| You wouldn't drop 50 mil on that? | ||
| Just re-extinct that bit. | ||
| There was a dodo bird and fucking, this is the last remaining, I'd choke it to death in the bathroom. | ||
| And then I would make a story up. | ||
| Try to flush it down the toilet. | ||
| I just drowned that fucker. | ||
| See each of those in that grid there. | ||
| Bottom right, the McLaren F1. That's my favorite. | ||
| These cars are insane. | ||
| And McLaren has a new insane car that's like 1 point something million dollars. | ||
| P1. Yeah, so they have the regular... | ||
| I found out about this because I was telling people that the McLaren, that's the more common one, It doesn't sound very good. | ||
| It's a turbocharged car. | ||
| So, you know, those turbos, they block a lot of the sound. | ||
| They act like mufflers, you know? | ||
| So naturally aspirated cars are always going to be more loud. | ||
| I was telling someone, he goes, what are you talking about? | ||
| He sends me this video, this thing sounds amazing. | ||
| I was like, that is not the same fucking car. | ||
| Turns out it's a car that's ten times more expensive. | ||
| Oh, was it a McLaren F1? It was the new one. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, the P1. And the P1 shoots fire, fire. | ||
| Like, on gas fire. | ||
| It's so good that Chris Harris said it's a step up above the Porsche 918, which is like the greatest car the world has ever known, up until a week ago. | ||
| Harris said that the 918 is amazing, but the P1 is like an alien just dropped a car on Earth and this is it, you know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah, I wasn't overly impressed with that 918. I mean, as far as technology, it looks and does all that stuff really well. | ||
| But honestly, I go back to the manual thing. | ||
| I've driven CGTs and that's what I would take. | ||
| That thing is amazing. | ||
| That thing is connected. | ||
| You know what I think? | ||
| I think that automotive technology has reached a sufficient limit with what is existing today. | ||
| Where we can have these wacky fucking future million dollar cars for Russian oligarchs. | ||
| You can have these nutty cars that you and I will never be able to afford. | ||
| But really, there needs to be some sort of a balance between the GTR-type, supercomputer, unbelievably cool cars, and a visceral car. | ||
| Like a car that you feel the engine, like a GT3-type experience, or something more raw. | ||
| Because if they just keep... | ||
| Over-engineering to the point where you're just going to completely lose the pleasure from driving. | ||
| Laptimes take into it. | ||
| And the problem is, a lot of the time, the limiting factor is to the tires and the driver. | ||
| But don't you think that the way technology has reached... | ||
| If you take the driver out of the equation, right? | ||
| You take the driver out of the equation if the shifting is done for you, right? | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Well, you take some of it, but what I'm trying to say is I think that where the technology has reached right now, They can make amazing, super-competent cars that just five, ten years ago would be Ferrari supercar level, and they can make them where you feel everything. | ||
| They can have incredible performance that's thrilling, braking that's fantastic, handling that's spectacular, but make it so you can feel it. | ||
| Yeah, it's not going to be as fast around a track as a fucking GT-R from 2015. But it's probably going to be more than fast enough for you. | ||
| Like, what the fuck are you doing exactly that you need 600 fucking horsepower? | ||
| You're arguing on the internet. | ||
| Well, you know, like going to the NSX, you know, when you were driving that, right? | ||
| I mean, it didn't even have 300 horsepower, but it, you know, it had a good amount of power. | ||
| And then you're thinking, like, Now you're driving, you know, in GT3s that have over 500 horsepower, and then there's, you know, yeah, like 991 Turbo S's that have, you know, even more than that. | ||
| Well, that was what Chris Harris had done with that little rally car that he had made. | ||
| He had taken the car and made it really, really light. | ||
| It was only 2,000 pounds, and he put a 320-plus horsepower engine in it. | ||
| That's a rocket. | ||
| Oh, my goodness. | ||
| Well, we also, you know... | ||
| You talk about... | ||
| If you want something that's wrong, we have shit on the other end of the spectrum, too. | ||
| You've got stuff like the Ariel Atom. | ||
| You've got the Morgan Three-Wheelers, which are hilarious fun. | ||
| Lotus and stuff with the Elise. | ||
| Yeah, but you know what, man? | ||
| I tried one of those. | ||
| The Lotus? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're fucking shitboxes. | ||
| I was like, this is a little beer can with fucking wheels attached to it. | ||
| It just felt like plastic. | ||
| You don't want to drive one in LA, too. | ||
| Nobody with money wants one. | ||
| Yeah, why is that? | ||
| Because they don't feel expensive. | ||
| They feel fucking cheap. | ||
| Light is great, but most people don't want to pay extra for it. | ||
| Like, we just had a Viper, right? | ||
| You know, Viper is the kind of thing that I would want to be driving, right? | ||
| Because it's fucking loud, it's got a huge motor, it's stick, you know? | ||
| And there's a lot of technology in there, carbon fiber, and it's got a ton of horsepower and stuff, but they charge you for it. | ||
| So the Viper was like $140,000, whereas the Carrera S, the new one, when they charge you that much money, you've got... | ||
| Like, a Porsche feels more technologically advanced. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah, but Porsche's got it right. | ||
| What they do is they do this reverse thing where it's like, I don't want to have a radio. | ||
| Oh, they charge you more. | ||
| Yeah, I don't want to have a sunroof. | ||
| I don't want to have this. | ||
| And they're like, no problem. | ||
| There's more money. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| They do charge you more for less. | ||
| But we've got some really lightweight, crazy, pure stuff that you can buy that you would never be able to buy years ago. | ||
| Like what? | ||
| Ariel Adam. | ||
| Have you seen the BAC Mono? | ||
| Yeah, that thing's sick. | ||
| It looks like a 401 car you can drive on the street. | ||
| Really? | ||
| What's it called? | ||
| The BAC Mono. | ||
| Pull that shit up, Jamie. | ||
| It's really nutty. | ||
| Looks like an insect. | ||
| The Ariel Adam is a ridiculous car. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a lot of ways to die in one of them things. | ||
| It seems like it. | ||
| Yeah, there are. | ||
| It seems like any time you're wearing a helmet and you're in a car. | ||
| Wait, wait, wait, wait. | ||
| What's with the helmet, man? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| You're on the street and you're wearing a helmet? | ||
| Hell, you take shit to the fucking face. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| That's the BAC Mono. | ||
| That is so ridiculous. | ||
| It's a single-seater. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Which I think is kind of stupid because... | ||
| You spend all this money on this car. | ||
| You can't give anyone a fucking ride. | ||
| Yeah, but that's good. | ||
| That way you can't give anyone a ride. | ||
| And get sued, yeah. | ||
| There's a pro and a con. | ||
| I'm a glass half full kind of a guy. | ||
| I see that and I go, I see no one wooching to ride off of me. | ||
| Plus, there's no room for bottles and fucking wrappers to accumulate. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's like you gotta keep that bitch clean. | ||
| You're forced to. | ||
| You're not gonna sit on your own garbage. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So you're not gonna go through fast food lanes. | |
| You're not gonna listen to the radio. | ||
| You got no radio, bitch. | ||
| Imagine a hoarder with a mono. | ||
| And it's like, there's nowhere to put it. | ||
| But like, there's just trash, stunt newspapers. | ||
| That car looks so ridiculous. | ||
| Pull that picture up again, Jimmy. | ||
| It looks unbelievable. | ||
| This is a street legal car in America? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So anybody could just go out, buy one of these, and you could just see them driving down to Palmetto. | ||
| I see the guy who has one of these, I see him in the canyons. | ||
| No way. | ||
| And what does one of those go for? | ||
| I think it's around a hundred grand? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's it? | |
| No, I think it's quite a bit more, yeah. | ||
| Now, how quick would you die if you got hit in one of those things? | ||
| Very, very quick. | ||
| Is there any protection at all, or does it kill you just to give you mercy? | ||
| Well, it's a carbon monocoque, right? | ||
| Instead of having airbags, it has spikes that come out of the dashboard and shoot right to your fucking brain. | ||
| I think it is. | ||
| Don't hold it. | ||
| Look, there it is. | ||
| There's the chassis. | ||
| Yeah, can you enlarge that picture? | ||
| Forbidden. | ||
| It's forbidden. | ||
| It's forbidden. | ||
| They don't want you to see it. | ||
| There's nothing there. | ||
| Yeah, it's a tube frame. | ||
| Yeah, you would die very, very quickly if you were in an accident. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe you, bitch. | |
| Not me, bro. | ||
| Walk away from that like nothing. | ||
| I got a different set of rules. | ||
| You're immortal, obviously. | ||
| I just know how to get away. | ||
| I roll with punches. | ||
| I've been around the block, bro. | ||
| I grew up in New York. | ||
| You know those fucking guys? | ||
| Pretend like, listen, don't worry about me. | ||
| I grew up in New York. | ||
| Do you have a different nose structure? | ||
| They're from Bedford. | ||
| You're going to hit you in the face with a pipe. | ||
| You're going to feel the same shit as a guy from Cleveland, you fuckhead. | ||
| What the fuck are you saying? | ||
| Ariel, Adam, put your helmet on. | ||
| Put your fucking superhero outfit on. | ||
| If you don't have like an actual, you know, death wish. | ||
| Is that like someone's grandma sitting in that car? | ||
| Oh, it's like a kid. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Is that a baby in that lady's arm? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a dog. | |
| It's a dog. | ||
| Oh, Christ. | ||
| There's a car called Noble? | ||
| That's what kind of an asshole drives a car like that. | ||
| The kind of guy who's dating a chick who brings her fucking dog everywhere. | ||
| Have you seen a Noble before? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| They're cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're not built so well, are they? | |
| They're like a kit car? | ||
| Yeah, it's very kit car-ish. | ||
| It's sort of worse than a loader. | ||
| They try really hard. | ||
| Isn't that one of those things where you bring it somewhere and they have to put the engine in? | ||
| Yeah, kind of. | ||
| How's that work? | ||
| Like, you buy the car, and then you buy the engine? | ||
| Do you buy the engine from them, too? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Couldn't you be like, listen, bitch, I'll say I did it, but can't you do it? | ||
| They have a guy here. | ||
| As long as they do it in this country, you don't do it. | ||
| Like, they said they ship it into the U.S. separately and then do what they would call a final assembly. | ||
| No, but that's to get away from something, right? | ||
| What is it to get away from? | ||
| It's to get around airbag standards. | ||
| So they don't have airbags? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| What the fuck kind of car piece of shit is that? | ||
| You want a fucking lightweight car or not, bitch? | ||
| This guy just got done telling me the airbag saved his life. | ||
| Yeah, they did, actually. | ||
| You want a raw? | ||
| So buy a fucking Porsche if you want an airbag. | ||
| Is that the honest thing? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's the Noble M600, yeah. | ||
| That doesn't have any airbags? | ||
| No. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Or it might have first generation. | ||
| It doesn't have smart airbags. | ||
| But you saw, you know, like on Top Gear, I mean, they test stuff. | ||
| Obviously they test stuff the way they do, but you saw that thing didn't even last the test. | ||
| They had to like... | ||
| Did you see that episode? | ||
| Yeah, it broke on Top Gear. | ||
| It broke on Top Gear. | ||
| Oh, that's not good. | ||
| Well, a lot of cars break. | ||
| That is true. | ||
| No, but not like that. | ||
| No, the Zenvo was... | ||
| Oh, that was crazy. | ||
| They implied that the Tesla Roadster ran out of battery. | ||
| Yeah, that wasn't cool. | ||
| It didn't actually run out of battery. | ||
| It had some kind of issue. | ||
| It had some kind of issue, so they had to push it. | ||
| So they got, someone got like, get a shot of them pushing it. | ||
| They got a shot of them pushing it, and then they did a voiceover implying that it had run out of battery. | ||
| When actually it was being pushed for a completely unrelated reason. | ||
| How douchey. | ||
| The judge sided with Top Gear, actually. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, the judge sided with Top Gear. | ||
| As creative license, just to make a funny show? | ||
| As they said that it wasn't slanderous because it wasn't, you know, beyond the realm of possibility. | ||
| The Zenvo guys actually ended up suing them, though. | ||
| Yeah, well, their car caught on fire. | ||
| Their supercar caught on fire on Top Gear, and that was like the replacement car for the replacement. | ||
| So it didn't go down too well. | ||
| So wait a minute. | ||
| They had a car that caught on fire or it broke? | ||
| So it was a car from Holland. | ||
| First one broke and then the second one caught on fire? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And they blamed Top Gear? | ||
| Is that what happened? | ||
| Well, they said that, yeah, they sued him for libel because they were basically saying... | ||
| They shat all over the car! | ||
| Yeah, they just... | ||
| Why did you not? | ||
| They should. | ||
| It's a piece of shit. | ||
| It's a silly lawsuit. | ||
| You send me a car, and one of them breaks, and the other one catches on fire. | ||
| That's not a good way to go. | ||
| It doesn't fucking warn the troops. | ||
| Well, then they eventually got it working, and they had to do a lap around the track, and they do the laps, but it was wet, and this car's got 1,000 horsepower, so it was slower than a Ford Ford. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's just sliding all over the place. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it was bad. | |
| You know what it was? | ||
| It's just, I think, and, you know, we probably could be guilty of doing this too, but when you work on something for, you know, two, three years, you're in your own cave, and you just forget what the rest of the world is really like, and you just start believing your own Crap, you know? | ||
| Certainly. | ||
| No one's perfect. | ||
| That can definitely happen. | ||
| That car is definitely a piece of shit. | ||
| I just think, for sure. | ||
| I listen to you, my friend. | ||
| It is a fucking... | ||
| You're one of the main reasons that I stopped that process of building that old Porsche. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| I stopped? | ||
| Why did I stop? | ||
| You were talking to me about it. | ||
| You were saying, don't kill yourself, get a 73. And I was like, well, everybody says that you drive one of those things and it's just incredible. | ||
| He's like, meh. | ||
| Not really. | ||
| People like to say that, but not really. | ||
| It's kind of cool for a while, but you're going to get tired of it. | ||
| This is the car, the Zenvo, that caught on fire. | ||
| That looks pretty badass, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It kind of does. | |
| This looks like what an NSX from 2015 should look like. | ||
| It's a good-looking car, to their credit. | ||
| NSX, make a car like that and put a fucking stick shift in it, bitch. | ||
| If they could just do that, if they made the new NSX, but it's gonna be four-wheel drive too. | ||
| Yeah, which is like so anti-NSX. It's crazy. | ||
| It's just a badge at this point. | ||
| Someone would make a really minimalist car. | ||
| Just cut out all fucking no navigation, no radio. | ||
| But from a real manufacturer that has like, that builds real things. | ||
| Right, but that's what the GT3 RS is kind of that. | ||
| It has a little, okay, it has AC, although you can order it without if you want to be that stupid. | ||
| It certainly is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, actually, does anyone get the cars without AC? So, yes, there were a couple of people. | |
| I'm not going to name names. | ||
| I'm not going to name you. | ||
| It wasn't me. | ||
| People who smell their own farts. | ||
| It wasn't me. | ||
| People want everybody to smell them. | ||
| They need a reason. | ||
| Come on, in California. | ||
| They're a stinky fetish. | ||
| Oh, that was Matt Farah's voice, not Joe Rogan's or Alex Ross. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Down the river, sail! | ||
| I love all people. | ||
| Everyone. | ||
| Did I just dive onto the Persian buses? | ||
| They're not going to care. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're comfortable, friendly, very successful people. | |
| They can just go back to their Mercedes with gold badges. | ||
| Who's more successful in America than Persians? | ||
| Hey, do you play pool, dude? | ||
| Because you're going the way I'm going with this, man. | ||
| Who's more successful in America than what? | ||
| Persians are super successful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They are. | |
| They're good negotiators. | ||
| Are they? | ||
| They try. | ||
| They fucking try. | ||
| Some folks love that. | ||
| They love to barter. | ||
| I'm not really a barterer. | ||
| I'm not into that shit at all. | ||
| Fuck it, just I'll pay you full price. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can we just get out of here sometime today? | |
| How do you barter if there's a price on there already? | ||
| How do you do that? | ||
| Some people just do. | ||
| You tell them, hey, bro, this is no good, this price. | ||
| Come on, bro. | ||
| I'll give you better price. | ||
| This fucking $2,000 for this TV, bro. | ||
| This is not a $2,000 TV, bro. | ||
| It's a good TV, bro. | ||
| It's not $2,000, you know. | ||
| I know Samsung, okay? | ||
| I know there's a dude who I went to school with. | ||
| His uncle is Samsung, alright? | ||
| I can call Sam right now and give me the fucking straight dope of the shitbox TV you got. | ||
| This is last year's, bro. | ||
| This is last year's. | ||
| You're going to have to get rid of this soon, right? | ||
| Come on, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is your good guy's voice or Circuit City, right? | |
| Yeah, that's my Slavic hustler voice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hopefully we don't get to the point where you need that one. | |
| It's possible. | ||
| I feel like you could be like a Slavic guy in a Guy Ritchie movie. | ||
| I would love that. | ||
| I would love that. | ||
| I'd be so happy. | ||
| You know that guy, Nick? | ||
| There's a guy named Nick Moran who's in Logstock. | ||
| He plays Nick. | ||
| And I happened to find myself at a bar. | ||
| And I sat down next to this guy. | ||
| Holy shit, anyone ever tell you the guy from fucking Lockstock? | ||
| And it was him. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That was a great fucking movie. | ||
| That was great, dude. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| You know, no big deal. | ||
| You took a chance. | ||
| What are the odds? | ||
| I was the only guy right there at that bar that asked him if he was the guy from Lockstock. | ||
| What are the odds, lad? | ||
| What are the odds? | ||
| Nothing wrong with asking that question. | ||
| That guy, Guy Ritchie, had some fucking banging movies, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, he did. | |
| He had a run. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| Madonna. | ||
| Madonna sucked her soul out of his dick. | ||
| That's how she got younger. | ||
| In that relationship, she lost about five years of age. | ||
| She pulled it right out of his cock. | ||
| All his creativity in the middle of the night, she'd mount him like a fucking demon. | ||
| Like little claws, clinging, holding him in place. | ||
| Fucking milking him. | ||
| Sucking his fucking soul right out of his dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit. | |
| He'll recover, but it's going to take a few years. | ||
| He'll come out with some new snatch, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Snatch, too, yeah. | |
| We'll call it Snatch, too. | ||
| The poster's just Madonna's face. | ||
| Yeah, just Madonna. | ||
| bending over to pick up her toothbrush. | ||
| Oh, that. | ||
| Snatched two. | ||
| Who died in Snatch? | ||
| Snatch 3. The old diamond guy, right? | ||
| Isn't he dead? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wait, which fuck? | ||
| The old Jewish diamond guy? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Dennis Farina? | ||
| Yeah, Dennis Farina, who's fucking awesome. | ||
| Don't go to London. | ||
| He died in real life, too, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In fact, I think he lived in the movie and died in real life. | ||
| That guy was great. | ||
| He was Cousin Avi. | ||
| No, Cousin Avi was the other guy, the English guy. | ||
| What a great fucking movie that was. | ||
| Lockstock was great, and Snatch was great. | ||
| Both of them were fucking great. | ||
| I liked Lockstock better, though. | ||
| That was the original. | ||
| And actually what they said was Snatch was... | ||
| Sort of watered down. | ||
| It was like the rehash of it, so that you guys didn't need subtitles. | ||
| Well, he had enough- It's always this, you guys shit. | ||
| Again, my country brings you in, we're paying to you, we let you under our nuclear umbrella. | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| You shit all over us. | ||
| You talk shit about our pool-playing abilities, how we like to brag on what we can do, and it's never really true. | ||
| We're too stupid to understand the German cars, so they give us a watered-down version. | ||
| What the fuck, bro? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| I got two words for you. | ||
| Toby Keith. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Toby fucking Keith. | ||
| That's what America makes. | ||
| Should've been a cowboy. | ||
| Yeah, I admitted... | ||
| You see the 9-11 song guy, too? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Dude, I admitted the... | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| I told you... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yuck. | |
| Fucking 9-11 song. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm looking at... | |
| The look in your face while you were saying, yuck! | ||
| It was just such a perfect look and a perfect yuck. | ||
| Was that the guy with the 9-11 song? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yuck! | |
| Oh, that was funny. | ||
| What would you do? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no! | |
| I tell you what I wouldn't do. | ||
| I wouldn't make that fucking song. | ||
| We need some better friends. | ||
| We need some friends that listen to that shit and go, man, Toby, you might want to try from the beginning. | ||
| Start all over again with this one. | ||
| You ever think the reason you're not a famous musician is because if you came up with half the shit on the radio, you'd go, no, this is terrible, and just throw it away and never play it again? | ||
| No, I'm not a famous musician because I have no musical talent whatsoever. | ||
| You guys could teach us wrestling. | ||
| That's what you could do. | ||
| You guys could teach us wrestling. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Americans, man. | ||
| You guys are good at that. | ||
| Very good at that. | ||
| Well, you know what? | ||
| I don't believe in you guys. | ||
| First of all, I don't believe in you guys in this fucking country because this country is basically a colony of people who came from somewhere else. | ||
| The idea that we're all the same but we came from somewhere else is pretty fucking stupid and kind of, you know, it doesn't work that way. | ||
| Yeah, but all Australians are criminals. | ||
| The immigrant people... | ||
| They're not anymore. | ||
| The immigration people refuse to believe that they were immigrants at one point. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a great one. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| The whole country full of immigrants won't let it in. | ||
| We've had enough. | ||
| We've decided. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| The doors are closed. | ||
| The sale is over. | ||
| There was a great commentary on immigration. | ||
| This dude was like a Canadian illegal immigrant and like lived in Arizona for like four years. | ||
| No one gets questioned. | ||
| Nobody questions him ever. | ||
| You can tell everybody. | ||
| Yeah, I don't even have my green card. | ||
| They're like, okay, you want me to pay in cash? | ||
| No one gives a fuck. | ||
| The gardeners are getting picked off fucking one by one by INS, though. | ||
| Yeah, it's really a racist thing. | ||
| It's fucking hard to get into this country and get papers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's hard to immigrate to America. | ||
| I had to take the test. | ||
| Let me tell you. | ||
| And you're white as fuck. | ||
| How was the test? | ||
| How did it go for you? | ||
| What was your score? | ||
| I studied history. | ||
| It was a perfect score. | ||
| And you know what else? | ||
| There was this series on HBO at the time. | ||
| Yo, don't brag, bro. | ||
| No, dude, dude. | ||
| I'm just telling you. | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm just telling you. | |
| Okay, so you guys make good TV. It was on, what was it? | ||
| Again with his you guys shit! | ||
| Dude, it was John Adams, right? | ||
| You remember that? | ||
| Yeah, John Adams. | ||
| You know John Adams. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It was on HBO at the time. | ||
| It really helped me with my test. | ||
| Paul Giamatti, John Adams, right? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, that one, that one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| It was good. | ||
| It was good shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| You didn't eat, well, it was on HBO. You guys. | ||
| You guys are fucking, we do make good fucking TV, though. | ||
| You do, you do. | ||
| We make good car shows. | ||
| What does this country look like from afar? | ||
| When you're trying to talk about, not the visual look, but when you're talking about how crazy this country is. | ||
| As someone who grew up in Britain, when you come over here and you see, when you're looking at America from Britain, what is your impression of it? | ||
| Does it seem as ridiculous as it does once you're here, or does it seem more ridiculous because you're over there in England? | ||
| So I'll tell you the honest, honest truth, right? | ||
| I went to the, like, pretty much the best school in England, you know, the princes and the royal family go there, out there too, Westminster. | ||
| Remember I said 1060, it was built in 1066. Someone is posh. | ||
| No, I just dropped eating, son. | ||
| Dude, I just took the plums out of my mouth as soon as I came here because nobody understood the damn thing I said. | ||
| I couldn't even order McDonald's here. | ||
| Because you were too posh. | ||
| Pretty much, yeah. | ||
| They don't know what a Royale with cheese is on this side of the pond. | ||
| No, that's a different country. | ||
| That's France, bro. | ||
| That's Europe. | ||
| That's Europe. | ||
| That's like a stone throw away. | ||
| The honest truth is that, you know, a small little island, you know, you come over here and you really can do all this crazy shit here that I could never have done like this tuning stuff with Porsches or overclocking PCs, being a dot-com person, you know, internet celebrity. | ||
| I could never have done that in England. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because we're just behind there and everyone's like, no. | ||
| Is that still the case though? | ||
| Dude, you just get pigeonholed and you have to have parents or friends or know somebody. | ||
| I mean, I literally, you know, I met some really cool people and I just said, hey, let's just start fucking around with Porsches. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| You mean once you came to America? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What I was trying to get at was like, what's the opinion of America when you're living over in England? | ||
| Does it look like when you see people, we're invading Afghanistan, fucking blowing up Iraq, and sending missiles into Pakistan from robots that fly in the sky, sucking up all the oil from all over the world. | ||
| I'll tell you what, that stuff didn't bug us at all. | ||
| You're fucking awesome neighbors. | ||
| No, I didn't. | ||
| No, I didn't. | ||
| What really fucking pissed us off. | ||
| This guy's serious. | ||
| Let him talk. | ||
| Is when you come into our pubs with your shitty rain jackets, you know, talking to all Americans. | ||
| Is this we again? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, it's you guys. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Matt Farah! | ||
| We didn't do nothing! | ||
| I don't own a single North Face item. | ||
| I know nothing! | ||
| North Face, no Palagonia. | ||
| Over here with this bullshit. | ||
| None of that shit. | ||
| Yeah, so, you know, don't be surprised when, you know, you get beaten up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I wear only barber when I'm in the UK. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. | |
| Don't be surprised when you get beaten up. | ||
| I'm always surprised when I get beaten up. | ||
| If you're getting beaten up so often that you're not surprised, I'd be like, God damn, man, you gotta fucking go to different places. | ||
| You gotta talk to people nicer. | ||
| If you're just fucking getting beaten up left and right, it's not surprising. | ||
| You're fucking making some critical errors basically everywhere you go. | ||
| I'm fucking constantly shocked when I'm beaten up. | ||
| Every time it's ever happened, I've been like, what the fuck did I do this? | ||
| Let's break this all down and never repeat this problem again. | ||
| He's like, well, they were wearing the wrong jacket, so we had a cone of them and beat them up for the queen. | ||
| Hey, mate! | ||
| You got the wrong colors on! | ||
| It's like the North Face Inquisition. | ||
| And you was born on the wrong patch of dirt! | ||
| We signed the Patagonia Charter in 2014! | ||
| Knuckle sandwich coming your way, mate! | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like V for Vendetta against all-weather gear. | |
| Okay, you know what? | ||
| We do like you guys... | ||
| Oh, what are you afraid of a little water, mate? | ||
| Afraid of getting your neck wet! | ||
| No, you know what movie you need to see is Sexy Beast. | ||
| That's what you need to watch. | ||
| I've seen that movie. | ||
| How do you know what the fuck I've seen? | ||
| You're telling me what movie I need to see? | ||
| Maybe I saw that movie twice! | ||
| You people don't see Sexy Beast. | ||
| Yeah, you people don't even know how to make a good proper movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll tell you something else. | |
| You can't hear Jimmy. | ||
| I can't hear Jimmy Saville. | ||
| What was up with that? | ||
| How did you guys let that guy bang on those kids? | ||
| That guy was a freaking creep. | ||
| Is that our Jerry Sandusky? | ||
| Yeah, he's way worse. | ||
| When you work for the BBC that long, he was just like a piece of furniture and nobody would say anything or do anything. | ||
| Actually, I don't know how you could say way worse, because I read Chandusky probably. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, dude. | |
| Probably, it was probably even, no matter how many people they've hosted. | ||
| Okay, he's way worse. | ||
| I mean, you know, he was basically dealing with handicapped kids. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, that's, like, kids that were, you know, 6 to 10 years old. | ||
| That's... | ||
| Was he a newscaster or something? | ||
| No, he was like, you know, Make Your Wish Foundation over here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| That's him? | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| Fuck off. | ||
| No, dude. | ||
| I can tell you with one picture that guy touches kids. | ||
| That's him when he was young. | ||
| If you look at him... | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Look at him later on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe... | |
| Oh, man. | ||
| When he got all his white hair... | ||
| That was the creepiest looking guy I've seen in a while. | ||
| You know what else is a good guy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
There you go. | |
| That's more like it. | ||
| That's how I remember him. | ||
| Growing up, watching TV, I remember him. | ||
| So he would make your wish come true. | ||
| So if you wanted to meet an athlete or you wanted to meet a race car driver, you would write him a letter. | ||
| You'd say, Dear Jimmy, I'm a poor kid in Middlesbrough, which is a place in England. | ||
| And I always wanted to meet James Hunt. | ||
| He would make that happen. | ||
| He's like, Jim will fix it. | ||
| That was his letter. | ||
| Jim will fix it. | ||
| We had Louis Theroux on the podcast. | ||
| The documentarian from England. | ||
| Fantastic guy. | ||
| Have you ever seen his documentaries? | ||
| No. | ||
| Or maybe I have. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| He followed that guy. | ||
| He hung out with that guy for days and interviewed him several, several times and then got to the point of relationships and girlfriends. | ||
| And, you know, it was really creepy because he was basically saying, like, one? | ||
| A single one? | ||
| Like, no, never. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Never. | ||
| Never had a girlfriend have friends that are girls, you know? | ||
| And he was just sort of skirting around the issue and he's sitting there with a cigar. | ||
| Yeah, he always smoked cigars. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| His legs cross in that strange praying mantis position that older dudes that have had a lot of atrophy of their thigh muscles feel super comfortable bending their legs in that way. | ||
| And he's there with his little foot dangling and he's talking about he's never had one girl. | ||
| And just counting down the minutes until you can touch another kid. | ||
| You know how you get meat sweats after you eat at Rootscrisp? | ||
| He's getting meat sweats, thinking about kids, just waiting for this fucking... | ||
| He's got a million kids on his phone, he's ready to text. | ||
| The second this guy leaves, the door blows open in a wave of kids. | ||
| He sends one giant mass text to every kid on his phone. | ||
| What was weird, though, at the time, you would see him, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You would see him. | |
| Smiley. | ||
| He would get all physical with the kids and stuff. | ||
| You would see him hugging them and nobody raised a question or an eyebrow. | ||
| He used to put them on his lap. | ||
| Yeah, on his lap and everything. | ||
| You people are fucked up. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| That was messed up. | ||
| What happened was the guy had become, according to Louis Theroux, the guy had become a huge celebrity and was almost untouchable because he was so loved. | ||
| And he had all these charitable organizations. | ||
| And that's the same way Sandusky hid his pedophilia was through charitable organizations. | ||
| Do charities for kids that didn't have families, kids who were injured, kids who were sick. | ||
| Kids who had no one to talk to. | ||
| Michael Jackson was the same thing. | ||
| Michael Jackson would work with a lot of kids that had terminal illnesses. | ||
| Which is the darkest shit ever. | ||
| Because you know that he was praying those kids didn't recover. | ||
| No. | ||
| In the back of his head, he was like, please die. | ||
| Please die with your secrets. | ||
| Billy doesn't want to talk to you right now. | ||
| But he's talking crazy. | ||
| He's talking about werewolves, fairies. | ||
| I think he's just making shit up. | ||
| Go ahead, talk to him. | ||
| He must be at the end. | ||
| He's not lucid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| He's making things up and I don't understand. | ||
| I was in the room with him the whole time. | ||
| There was no fairies. | ||
| Well, okay, so it's not a good idea to have your teenage kid hang around with a grown dude, basically. | ||
| No, well, it depends on the grown dude. | ||
| I mean, look, there's a lot of guys. | ||
| If it's a grown dude who doesn't like to touch kids' dicks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| That's a good filter. | ||
| Start there, work backwards. | ||
| When I was 19 or 20, I used to take my buddy's brother, who was like 13, fishing. | ||
| I never fucked him once. | ||
| No, but you were only 19. I'm talking about like a 70-year-old. | ||
| He's a fucking good kid, and he likes to fish, and I do too. | ||
| And you just left him hanging like that? | ||
| Just because I was way older than I was seven or eight years older than him. | ||
| We went fishing together. | ||
| I brought him home. | ||
| We had a great time. | ||
| Nobody got touched. | ||
| You can have a little friend. | ||
| I know how hard that is to avoid. | ||
| It wasn't hard. | ||
| It was very easy. | ||
| Not fishing for sharks, right? | ||
| I don't have those instincts anymore. | ||
| Not fishing for sharks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Not fishing for sharks. | ||
| No, we were freshwater fishing. | ||
| Because I told you what happened. | ||
| But I would fish for sharks. | ||
| With guns, harpoons. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| I would use everything possible to fish for sharks. | ||
| Those fins do not make your wang bigger. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They do not. | |
| I'm not talking about fins. | ||
| I'm talking about killing sharks. | ||
| See, listen. | ||
| You've got a thing for sharks, dude. | ||
| We need to talk about this on the podcast. | ||
| Just because your nickname is Sharky. | ||
| Okay? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| What if your nickname was Cocky? | ||
| Would you be running around trying to save dicks? | ||
| I'd just say I was good at pool. | ||
| Trying to stop circumcision. | ||
| This company would be called Cockworks. | ||
| Cockworks. | ||
| He's standing there. | ||
| Best Porsche mechanic in the world. | ||
| Standing there. | ||
| No jobs. | ||
| Looking on the street left and right. | ||
| Maybe we need to change our phone number. | ||
| 1-800-CAR. Car's like faster than Formula One cars, but it's got badges all over it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
With dicks on them. | |
| Nobody wants it. | ||
| You know how bad the Porsche GT3 RS logos are, the little stickers all over the bars? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, there's a terrible thing. | |
| His would be even worse. | ||
| It'd be just jizz. | ||
| Just veiny. | ||
| Just big dicks. | ||
| Big dicks and spooch. | ||
| Big orange dicks. | ||
| And the spooch should be going forward, which doesn't even make any sense. | ||
| The car's driving for the spooch should be maybe going backwards like an exhaust. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's... | |
| Jet the car into the proper direction. | ||
| I'm going to get you a 118-scale GT3 and hand-painted fucking cockworks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Yes. | ||
| We want that. | ||
| Listen, sharks suck, okay? | ||
| I know they're necessary. | ||
| And when I say this, so many people are like, you're so fucking ignorant and closed mind. | ||
| I'll get these tweets. | ||
| You need to relax. | ||
| First of all, I don't believe the fucking thing I'm saying right now. | ||
| I'm not in court. | ||
| I'm not giving an affidavit. | ||
| I'm not teaching the children. | ||
| This is what I'm saying. | ||
| Fuck sharks. | ||
| And I'm saying if I had a grenade and it was attached to a spear, I'd stuff it right into a shark's dick and blow him right out of the water just in the chance that maybe he could bite somebody that I love. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Not really. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Not really. | ||
| It's cold as ice. | ||
| That's how I roll. | ||
| When it comes to the ocean, the ocean can all suck my dick. | ||
| This is what I want to do with the ocean. | ||
| I want to take parts of it and net it in and then throw in shit that can grow that I can eat later. | ||
| Just keep it trapped and then when I want it, I scoop it up with nets. | ||
| That's all I care about fish. | ||
| I give zero fucks about fish. | ||
| Every fish that's ever lived can go, fuck its mother. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| What fish touched you? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| I'm on team people. | ||
| I'm not into fish. | ||
| Did a grouper put his mouth on you? | ||
| This is all I have to say. | ||
| If you're a person, okay, and you have a pet fish and it dies and you cry, you're a fucking silly bitch. | ||
| That fish didn't know you were alive. | ||
| It doesn't give a fuck about you. | ||
| If you drop dead in front of it, it couldn't care less. | ||
| It couldn't possibly care less. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But you're like, oh no, it was my favorite fish. | |
| Boo! | ||
| Fuck fish. | ||
| What five-year-olds are tweeting at you about their fish? | ||
| No one, but I'm just anticipating. | ||
| I've never even had a goldfish. | ||
| I had a huge tank filled with piranhas. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| How'd that end? | ||
| It was pretty dope. | ||
| I got rid of them. | ||
| I heard it was illegal, and I said, I just won't stand for this any longer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you throw shit in the tank and all she fucking gets shredded? | |
| Yes. | ||
| Were they red-bellied piranhas? | ||
| Redbelly or the black ones? | ||
| Which ones? | ||
| Well, I had two different kinds of piranhas. | ||
| I had redbelly piranhas and I had these other ones that were like silver. | ||
| I forgot what they were called, but they were different. | ||
| They looked a little different, but they were all ruthless. | ||
| They were like larger? | ||
| Did it ever get boring watching them shred shit? | ||
| No, they're boring when they're not shredding shit. | ||
| When they're not shredding shit, they're just murderous statues. | ||
| They'd just sit there. | ||
| And they'd just look at you and wait. | ||
| And then what you'd do is you'd go to the store and get a bag of goldfish. | ||
| That's what I would do. | ||
| And I'd bring dudes over the house to watch feeding. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Popcorn? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I was young and single, man. | ||
| I'd have my friends over. | ||
| I'd be like, dude, dude, dude, tonight's feeding time. | ||
| Come on over. | ||
| And I would go get a giant bag of goldfish and unleash it. | ||
| And at one point in time, I think, I don't know how many piranhas I had, but it was more than one. | ||
| And it was a fucking rampage. | ||
| Ever seen Piranha's Mate? | ||
| No. | ||
| What I would do is I would not feed them for several days. | ||
| Oh, like the bull technique. | ||
| You've got to time it right. | ||
| Because if you time it wrong, they eat each other. | ||
| They'll find the one who is the weakest. | ||
| You don't want to feed them every day, but you want to feed them every few days. | ||
| The key is don't get them to worry. | ||
| About when their next meal comes. | ||
| Just get it so that they're hungry. | ||
| And then you put the goldfish in. | ||
| And you just watch nature. | ||
| Do the whole water just turn red? | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| They cut them in half. | ||
| They swim in just one bite. | ||
| And then you'll see the tail try to swim away by itself. | ||
| And then the other one will take and swallow the tail in one bite. | ||
| And they were just dissecting goldfish in midair. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's fucking crazy. | |
| Cutting them in half. | ||
| Yeah, and they don't touch each other at all, right? | ||
| Oh, wrong! | ||
| They would leave at the end of feeding with chunks missing from their faces. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Because they would bite each other's faces in the middle of these mad... | ||
| Maybe it was just yours. | ||
| Maybe it was just your ones. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Are there YouTube videos of this? | ||
| Do people have tank cams and shit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sure. | |
| I'm sure people have it. | ||
| That's the rest of my night. | ||
| The whole key... | ||
| Watching a piranha feed was just getting it hungry. | ||
| Because if I fed them every day, I found out that they wouldn't even feed right away. | ||
| I'd pour the goldfish in there, and they'd look at them like, later. | ||
| I had a fucking... | ||
| When I was a kid, I had a turtle, like a whatever turtle, and you'd feed it goldfish. | ||
| Those are ruthless. | ||
| Are they? | ||
| Mine was all right. | ||
| Dude, turtles are more ruthless than piranhas. | ||
| They nip your little fingers and stuff on them. | ||
| Well, this one, one goldfish that was a feeder fish survived two fucking years. | ||
| Lived with the turtle in the tank. | ||
| Endless rounds of other fish. | ||
| This one little tiny goldfish. | ||
| They just were friends. | ||
| It was like... | ||
| So did your piranhas die or did you cry? | ||
| No, I got rid of the piranhas. | ||
| You got rid of them? | ||
| What do you do when you get rid of a piranha? | ||
| Yeah, how do you do that? | ||
| I call the guy. | ||
| What guy? | ||
| This was a long time ago. | ||
| This was decades ago and far past the... | ||
| It was in another country probably. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The legal... | |
| What is the fucking... | ||
| L.A. River? | ||
| Statue of Libertations. | ||
| Statue of Libertations. | ||
| Oh, that, that, yeah. | ||
| Legal Zoom. | ||
| What it is is you... | ||
| If you... | ||
| With an animal like that, first of all, the number one responsibility is to make sure it doesn't get out somewhere. | ||
| And that's where assholes have released these fucking things into other areas, and that's why they're illegal. | ||
| In Florida, after Hurricane Andrew, all those pet stores that had pythons and all those other fish and stuff, that's all infested all of Florida. | ||
| You know, they like to blame it on that, but it's also just white trash douchebag. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's also Florida. | |
| Florida's the worst fucking place on Earth. | ||
| It's not really America. | ||
| I have been there, and it wasn't again. | ||
| I wouldn't mind letting them leave. | ||
| They want to. | ||
| I know they want to. | ||
| They can go. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| They can get their shit together, like any fucked up uncle. | ||
| It's like, I hope he finds ayahuasca, gets into therapy, does MDMA, fucking pulls himself out of the ashes like the phoenix he is. | ||
| But the reality is, a giant percentage of Florida is filled with fucking idiots. | ||
| There's a lot of cool people in Florida. | ||
| I have friends in Florida. | ||
| Nothing wrong with Florida as a whole, but there's a lot of... | ||
| My parents live in Florida. | ||
| Yeah, everyone goes to retire there, huh? | ||
| Yeah, a lot of people love Florida. | ||
| There's good spots in Florida. | ||
| I love performing in Florida. | ||
| People are fun. | ||
| It's just, it's obviously not everybody, but there's a giant percentage of fucking idiots there, and they have those pythons that just, well, he got too big for the house, so I figured I'd keep him out in the backyard, and I was going to be on the fence, but I came back, he was gone! | ||
| What do you want me to do? | ||
| Now you got a fucking 20-foot-long python out there eating horses and shit. | ||
| Climbing into stables and swallowing people. | ||
| I mean, these are murderous, fucking heartless monsters from the depths of the swamps. | ||
| Yeah, and the environment's perfect for them, right? | ||
| So they grow and grow, and they've got nobody to... | ||
| No natural predators. | ||
| Yeah, they go bonkers there. | ||
| It's very dangerous. | ||
| When you introduce an animal... | ||
| Billy the exterminator, she in Florida. | ||
| Oh, well, they have python exterminators. | ||
| They even have contests, but the problem is they can't find them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, they go out looking in the Everglades, and then they realize how big the fucking Everglades are. | ||
| They've gone on these Python contests. | ||
| Well, they do have this thing called camouflage, too, so they're good at that. | ||
| Yeah, but they're not even from that area. | ||
| You would think that their colors wouldn't be... | ||
| I guess it's good enough. | ||
| It's good enough, yeah. | ||
| But I just think it's the Everglades. | ||
| It's just so fucking dense. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| You're not finding shit out there. | ||
| And they're eating everything. | ||
| They're eating alligators. | ||
| I buried, like, three bodies out there. | ||
| I know. | ||
| You're not finding shit. | ||
| They eat alligators. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| That's freaking crazy. | ||
| That's all you have to know. | ||
| There's a video of one eating a fucking alligator. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A full video. | ||
| Is the alligator going to put up a fight or is it like a sleep? | ||
| No, it's fucking fighting, but it doesn't matter. | ||
| Yeah, but the problem is the more they fight, the more they constrict, right? | ||
| Yeah, pythons, what they do is they grab ahold of you and then you're heaving and you're exhaling. | ||
| Inhaling and exhaling. | ||
| And when you exhale, wham! | ||
| That's when it clamps down on you. | ||
| And then you try to breathe again and bam! | ||
| It clamps down a little. | ||
| And it just... | ||
| Cuts all the air off. | ||
| I just gave over that. | ||
| And the way it gets a hold of him, it's like, it's so ruthless and efficient. | ||
| Peruvian necktie. | ||
| Did it swallow the alligator hole? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Here it is. | |
| There's pictures of it. | ||
| There's a video of it, Jamie. | ||
| See if you can find the video. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| It happened in Australia. | ||
| These people watched it all happen. | ||
| So I guess it was actually a crocodile. | ||
| It was a python, because Australia doesn't have alligators. | ||
| And crocodiles are even more dangerous. | ||
| Crocodiles are nasty. | ||
| So that's how gangster pythons are. | ||
| They're fucking crocodiles. | ||
| What a fuck. | ||
| When one eats a shark... | ||
| That's when the world will fucking stop. | ||
| Yeah, well, you know what's interesting, though? | ||
| Cats kill the snakes. | ||
| Big cats always kill snakes. | ||
| My little cat killed a fucking snake once. | ||
| It was badass. | ||
| Yeah, they can kill snakes. | ||
| They know exactly what to do. | ||
| They go right for the back of the head. | ||
| They're too fucking fast. | ||
| Look at this shit. | ||
| This is the battle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, man. | |
| So this python has wrapped around a goddamn... | ||
| Look at the girth of that freaking python. | ||
| That is a monster python, though. | ||
| That's no joke. | ||
| And that's a small crocodile, too. | ||
| That's a baby crocodile. | ||
| Nevertheless, I say count it. | ||
| I mean, any crocodile is a crocodile. | ||
| Well, I mean, when I say little, I think they said it was four foot. | ||
| Okay, so that could bite your hand off. | ||
| Big enough that I'm not getting anywhere near my dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that! | |
| Oh, damn. | ||
| Look at how it's swallowing its body. | ||
| It's expanding its mouth, unhinging its jaw, and then its whole body just slowly takes it up. | ||
| Just straight up, head first. | ||
| He's BJJing the crap out of that poor little alligator. | ||
| It's such a fucking ruthless world, the world of nature. | ||
| And anybody who has a pet python is an asshole. | ||
| You're crazy. | ||
| You're keeping a monster in your house. | ||
| And the only reason why it's not killing you is because it's not big enough yet or it doesn't know that it has to or wants to. | ||
| Once it decides... | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| If it's 20 feet long, what the fuck are you going to do if a 20 foot long python... | ||
| Do people have 20 foot long pythons in their house? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| I guess somewhere... | ||
| Some asshole has one. | ||
| Guaranteed. | ||
| He's got some fucking patio. | ||
| They've gotten people recently in New York with tigers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The fuck... | ||
| Well, there was a documentary, The Elephant in the Living Room. | ||
| Did you see it? | ||
| No. | ||
| Me neither. | ||
| I was hoping you saw it. | ||
| It's about people that keep exotic pets as, you know, exotic animals, wild animals as pets. | ||
| And it focused on that guy, I think, in Ohio, who had all these animals. | ||
| He wound up killing himself, releasing all the animals, then killing himself. | ||
| And all these lions and shit were wandering down the street, and the cops... | ||
| The cops had to kill him. | ||
| This is a small town in Ohio. | ||
| You can't call in some animal experts. | ||
| By then, you lost track of your lions. | ||
| They had to kill him on sight. | ||
| It's apparently a fascinating documentary. | ||
| It's on my must-watch list. | ||
| Elephant in the Living Room? | ||
| Yeah, Elephant in the Living Room. | ||
| It's supposed to be pretty badass. | ||
| Watch it next week or come back. | ||
| I can't believe I recommended that piece of shit. | ||
| Have you ever done that? | ||
| Recommend something sight unseen and it turns out to be fucking crap. | ||
| You know what car, I hope, getting back to cars, that they keep around is that Audi R8. They will. | ||
| That thing is a crazy car. | ||
| They've sold enough of them that they'll continue developing it. | ||
| I looked at that thing and I was like, that thing hasn't changed almost like a 911 since the moment that they created it. | ||
| It's only been five years. | ||
| You know what though? | ||
| It drives a lot better than the V10 Lamborghinis. | ||
| Does it really? | ||
| It's nicer to deal with on a daily basis too. | ||
| It has a gated shifter. | ||
| You can still get it with a stick. | ||
| It's like one of the last cars with a gated shifter. | ||
| What is it like shifting? | ||
| Just like the Ferraris. | ||
| It's a little slower doing it that way. | ||
| While shifting it that way? | ||
| Yeah, but you get click, click, click. | ||
| That metal on metal, oh, it's delicious. | ||
| Like a little slower, but a different kind of satisfaction, right? | ||
| So it goes back to that thing. | ||
| It's not about zero to 60 times. | ||
| It's about what does it do to you So, you know, when you're playing Gran Turismo, or when you're playing... | ||
| I don't play that shit. | ||
| Sorry, dude. | ||
| Outrun. | ||
| Okay, when you're playing Outrun, okay? | ||
| You put it in the automatic mode if you wanted to advance in the game. | ||
| Oh, okay, that's the game at the arcade? | ||
| Is that what you mean? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Okay, if you want to finish the game, quickly get over to the next level, get the better cars. | ||
| Yeah, you put it in automatic mode, right? | ||
| You would. | ||
| So it's easier. | ||
| But unless you're a paid race car driver on the track, are you really having that much more fun by just holding the steering wheel and pushing the gas pedal? | ||
| I have no problem with automatic transmissions. | ||
| I just think they should have both. | ||
| Because there's too many people that like it the other way. | ||
| There's too many people that are bemoaning the lost transmission. | ||
| Yeah, no, no, I agree. | ||
| It's got its place. | ||
| But I don't think the GT3 was... | ||
| The place. | ||
| That was like the wrong place to put that transmission. | ||
| They did make a silly argument for it because there's still some cars like a Corvette ZR1 and like a Viper that have a stick that'll beat it around a track. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's also that weird thing that automotive journalists do where they go, listen, just go with the PDK. Trust me. | ||
| I've seen that a bunch of times. | ||
| The PDK's better. | ||
| We do that. | ||
| I'm guilty of that. | ||
| I've done that before. | ||
| But what is that? | ||
| Where does that come from? | ||
| It was. | ||
| It was because Porsche's seven-speed shifter sucks. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| I'd rather have a stick than paddles, but if the shifter isn't any good, there's sort of no point. | ||
| But you're being honest about that. | ||
| I think a lot of people are not honest about it. | ||
| The sad thing is that's like a $200 fix, like in our parts. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| To make a shitty Carrera shifter. | ||
| Just bushings? | ||
| Yeah, like linkages and bushings. | ||
| So you could take one of those seven speeds and make it a good shifter? | ||
| Yeah, I haven't done the seven speeds, but the six speeds before it, you know, like a Carrera S or a turbo that felt a little sloppy, you know, it didn't feel as good as your GT3. Didn't click into place? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But the, um, so what would you do about that then? | ||
| You'd take the shifter out, you'd take the console out. | ||
| So the seven speeds that they have now in the 991s, do you think you could upgrade that? | ||
| Yeah, you can do those. | ||
| You can fix those too. | ||
| What would you have to do? | ||
| Just take the console out, take the shifter out. | ||
| There's an American company, B&M. They make shifters. | ||
| I think you can retrofit some of the linkages and stuff too from the older cars. | ||
| $25,000. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| It's too bad you couldn't fit it with a six-speed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know why you need seven gears anyway. | |
| Why don't you just make nine? | ||
| Well, Porsches wind pretty high, so that 7th is really, really just for a road trip. | ||
| If you're going to just get on the highway and drive for five hours, just stick the fucking thing in 7th, and you'll get four or five miles a gallon better. | ||
| Yeah, I get that, but still. | ||
| I think they really wanted to hit that 30 miles a gallon number in Carrera. | ||
| Maybe they should have a button overdrive. | ||
| Like old school, like one of those foot buttons? | ||
| Just a little button on the side that's like a road. | ||
| Did your Cuda have one of those? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Every year had an overdrive. | ||
| That was another thing I didn't want in that car. | ||
| I didn't want it to be an automatic. | ||
| And they were like, it has to be an automatic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like... | |
| You're like, why? | ||
| You're going to have a 1970 Barracuda in an automatic. | ||
| What color was that car? | ||
| Silver. | ||
| That was another thing they argued with me about. | ||
| They wanted to paint it up like a Spanish hooker. | ||
| I had to argue with them. | ||
| They wanted to put three different colors on it. | ||
| I was like, wait a minute, what do you want? | ||
| And then ghosted angels and flames and stuff. | ||
| No, it was going to be silver on the bottom, and then it was going to be black, and then it was going to be red. | ||
| Silver, red, and then black, black on the hood, like the old AR hoods. | ||
| Because Chip Foose has this idea of these designs, and he gets them in his head, and then that's what he wants to do. | ||
| But then I saw it stripped down when they were sanding the body down. | ||
| It was all silver. | ||
| And I was like, oh, that has to be all silver. | ||
| I'm like, I've never seen a silver barracuda. | ||
| I want to see a silver barracuda. | ||
| And I was like, let's do it on silver. | ||
| And oh my god, I had to fucking duke it out with those guys. | ||
| You're making a mistake. | ||
| I'm like, how am I making a mistake? | ||
| Did you pay for that? | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Then the answer is, fuck you, it's my money. | ||
| It's a lot of money, man, and it wasn't worth it. | ||
| In the long run, it was a car that was fun to look at. | ||
| And interesting, and they did a great job building it, don't get me wrong, but... | ||
| How long did it take? | ||
| It's just a giant headache. | ||
| It was a lowered car, so the back wheel well was tubbed, and it was like four inches off the ground, so it was bottoming out everywhere. | ||
| It's a beautiful-looking thing. | ||
| That is a very pretty car. | ||
| Very pretty. | ||
| This is when I decided to get rid of it. | ||
| I was on the highway. | ||
| I was coming home, and I was going about normal speed, highway speed, 60, 70 miles an hour, and I got off the highway. | ||
| 15 minutes later, I'm at my house, and I pull into my driveway, and the car leans over to the right, and the suspension had fallen off. | ||
| No, the suspension had fallen off of the frame in my driveway. | ||
| I was just on the highway 15 minutes ago, going 70 miles an hour. | ||
| So I said, We're done here. | ||
| I said, that's it. | ||
| So I called up Steve Stroop. | ||
| You know Steve Stroop? | ||
| Pure Vision. | ||
| Great guy. | ||
| Makes awesome cars. | ||
| Had him totally fix everything to the T. Make sure everything's in order. | ||
| Because maybe I'll drive it again. | ||
| Maybe I won't. | ||
| And then I let it sit around for a year. | ||
| And then I just got rid of it. | ||
| I just didn't drive it again after that. | ||
| I was like, I don't trust it. | ||
| I don't want to trust it. | ||
| Once you lose trust in a car and stuff, like with your 996 Turbo, if you lose trust, just let it go, man. | ||
| Lemon it. | ||
| It also wasn't the car for me, because I'm not a show car guy. | ||
| I wanted a car that I could drive places. | ||
| I could shut it off and leave it there and then drive it again. | ||
| No, that thing you've got to be worried about all the time. | ||
| It was a disaster. | ||
| I totally approve of your curves and the roads that you go on. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| That's our style up there in NorCal. | ||
| That's what we like, too. | ||
| Well, I got rid of that, and then I got a GT3 with the money. | ||
| That's what I did. | ||
| And then I was like, oh, it's so much better. | ||
| You're like, oh, this thing works. | ||
| Oh, it's so much better, you know? | ||
| I have to drive a lot of this home-built shit, you know what I mean? | ||
| Literally, I drove a car a couple weeks ago that was seriously built by a fucking redneck by himself over the course of six years. | ||
| It was a 1975 Toyota Corolla. | ||
| charged v8 in it oh my god you know it worked out like the car worked actually it was kind of you know impressive because the guy literally built it in his own little fucking universe and he had nothing to compare it to he's never driven another real sports car and i mean it's amazing the fucking wheel didn't fall off the thing yeah you're alive i know but that's like every week for me it's like some new crazy sketchy thing that's never been tested yeah this From our side, there's a lot of pressure. | ||
| Like you said, on Top Gear, that Dutch car manufacturer, whatever the hell, Zenvo. | ||
| Oh, they're Danish. | ||
| Sorry, Danish. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| With all the coverage and press we get, we better make sure the car is dialed like we tested before. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Car's going to work, man. | ||
| Because I know that shit blows up live. | ||
| That's not going to be cool. | ||
| Orlando driving it, it blows up. | ||
| I just found out that XV Motorsports, they stopped making those dope challengers. | ||
| Those crazy challengers. | ||
| They were charging $200,000 for something that wasn't worth $200,000, but... | ||
| What's it worth? | ||
| What's this? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| What's a fucking 72R-esque worth a million six? | ||
| What are these things worth these days? | ||
| What is worth what? | ||
| 1.4 million is what I sold for, yeah. | ||
| If you could have a real 1970 Challenger and it actually handles well and breaks well, it might be worth $200,000. | ||
| I'd have a Superbird. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| I love those. | ||
| But that's what I wanted. | ||
| That's what I wanted when I got that Barracuda. | ||
| I wanted a car like that. | ||
| What you ended up with was a show car. | ||
| Yeah, a show car that was just a little prissy little bitch that would whine and complain and... | ||
| Fucking shit out on me everywhere and left me stranded all these places. | ||
| Yeah, I nearly killed you. | ||
| Yeah, I did. | ||
| But I made sure that I did my due diligence and fixed it before I got rid of it. | ||
| That's very nice. | ||
| You didn't want it to happen to you. | ||
| I didn't want anybody to get sued. | ||
| Fucking sued. | ||
| You imagine you sell a car and you find out a dude racks it into a tree and it's brain dead now. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| I sold the car to a guy who told it the very next day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I got cash. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huh. | |
| I took his cash and bought a new fucking car and said, have a nice day, sir. | ||
| Here's the spare key. | ||
| Would you like it? | ||
| What kind of car was it? | ||
| It was a Mustang. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Was it a crazy car? | ||
| It was crazy for the time. | ||
| It was in 94 and I had a stroker motor in it. | ||
| And I mean, it was... | ||
| 400 horsepower in 1997 was a lot. | ||
| Isn't it amazing? | ||
| That's what we're saying. | ||
| 400 horsepower used to be insanity. | ||
| Now it's nothing. | ||
| My Corvette, when I built it in 2005, 500 horsepower was like, holy shit! | ||
| Well, this 1M that you were talking about, how much does that thing weigh? | ||
| 3,500 pounds? | ||
| Fairly light. | ||
| It's about 500 pounds less than the M4, right? | ||
| The new M4 is closing in on 4 grand. | ||
| Is it that much? | ||
| It's heavy. | ||
| Yeah, there was a big article there. | ||
| Oh, it's the sedan. | ||
| Yeah, it probably is. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| The M4 is the coupe. | ||
| Who can keep this shit straight? | ||
| BMW fucked up. | ||
| You know, the other thing, too, is remember your 996 Turbo, right? | ||
| So I was telling you my buddies in Arizona that worked with us on all this stuff. | ||
| Um, they have a, you know, 1600 horsepower 997 turbo, which is essentially the same engine, right? | ||
| It has a parachute on the back. | ||
| It's essentially a time machine. | ||
| Yeah, he drove it. | ||
| It's just crazy, right? | ||
| So, in that same car. | ||
| I mean, they drive those things so fast at those mile events that, you know, when they get to like 230, 240 miles an hour, the roof caves in. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, the sunroof just, it just implodes. | ||
| When I drove it, I hit like, I hit I think 175 or 180 and the windows started peeling out away from the door frames. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah, when you see like a red 997 turbo. | ||
| It's like on driving. | ||
| You can't drive. | ||
| You know, you could show up somewhere now at an event with a car that's a thousand horsepower. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And any normal person, if anyone is still listening to this that cares about a thousand horsepower, it's amazing. | ||
| You know, and be like, pfft, well I've got 1500 horsepower. | ||
| Like, the internet has fucked it up. | ||
| Completely fucked it up. | ||
| How has the internet fucked it up? | ||
| Because the internet, you can just Google and get into that, you know, you can see some fucking psycho in Dubai who's got some Supra with 1500 horsepower, and all of a sudden that has resets your barometer for normal. | ||
| Normal is the big numbers you see on the internet now. | ||
| Most of these people, if they rode in a 500hp car, would shit their pants. | ||
| But they see on the internet some psycho with a dyno car, you know, that's putting down 1,500 and they go, If yours doesn't make $1,500, it ain't shit. | ||
| Isn't that interesting when it comes to a lot of fans of cars that can't afford those cars? | ||
| That it gets to... | ||
| Haterade, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, but it also gets to that weird thing like you're shitting on a car that you can't afford. | ||
| You don't even know what the fuck it would be like to drive the bronze medalist to this three. | ||
| You're dealing with an insane demon of a car. | ||
| You're talking about, like, the Evo top ten, when they do the top ten of the best supercars of the year, or the best sports cars, whatever, performance cars is their category. | ||
| The shittiest one is still pretty fucking good. | ||
| These are demonic vehicles. | ||
| You're dealing with things that defy logic. | ||
| There's people that argue with us and we'll go film a car on the press launch. | ||
| The car won't be in showrooms for six months. | ||
| And we'll go film this car months before it comes out. | ||
| And people will argue about how good or bad it is. | ||
| Literally, there's no possible way that they actually have this information. | ||
| It's not possible. | ||
| The transmission has issues. | ||
| I've heard from the guys that work at the factory. | ||
| You don't know fucking shit. | ||
| I know an insider. | ||
| We don't even know shit if we just drove it. | ||
| A lot of people that haven't driven a Carrera GT before have all these opinions about it being super dangerous. | ||
| And it's like, no, it's not. | ||
| It's how you drive it and also what tires you have. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| It's known for being a little hairy. | ||
| That's part of its appeal. | ||
| It's part of the appeal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you guys were enlightening me about the Paul Walker car that killed him and his friend, that they were nine-year-old tires. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So what happens when you have a collector car like that, a car that is a top-tier... | ||
| You'll see a lot of these Ferrarianzos, these top-tier collector cars where people will buy them and not put many miles on them. | ||
| So Roger, who was driving the car when Roger and Paul died... | ||
| Bought this car for his collection. | ||
| He has a huge collection of cars. | ||
| Bought this car for his collection. | ||
| It had been sitting there. | ||
| He was going to put tires on it. | ||
| But Paul was like, oh, let me just go for a ride around the block. | ||
| And they just went for a ride around the block. | ||
| But because rubber in tires, whether you drive on them or not, will become very hard over time. | ||
| So it might look like a nice tire with tread. | ||
| It looks more or less like a brand new tire. | ||
| But that rubber has been slowly hardening and it... | ||
| And a tire's contact patch with the ground is partially about the tread pattern, but more importantly, it's a chemical bond with tarmac. | ||
| And so, as the tire ages, that becomes much less effective, you lose traction. | ||
| And also, like, tires from the 2004 era, you know, they weren't as good as they are now. | ||
| The Michelins that they would have put on now are way, way grippier, stickier. | ||
| Yeah, cup tires, these GT3 cup tires that are in the RSs. | ||
| They're great. | ||
| They're insane. | ||
| Once they get hot, they're sticky. | ||
| And that's the other thing that folks need to understand if you're driving a car. | ||
| Don't skimp on tires, ever. | ||
| Well, also, you can't just drive it fast right away. | ||
| You can't just take your car, start it out of your driveway, go right to the racetrack, and just fucking... | ||
| You're laughing. | ||
| But see, a lot of people would go, what's so funny? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The closer to a racing tire it is, the more heat you got to get. | ||
| So what do you do if you go to, if you're a guy and it's your first day on a track, and see if you got a GT3? Ever see a Formula One race, that lap right before they start? | ||
| What they do is, they're going about 10 miles an hour, 10 to 20 miles an hour, and they're going left and right, left and right. | ||
| And they're just heating up the tires. | ||
| They're just heating up the tires, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah. | |
| Ah, that's smart. | ||
| And that's what you do. | ||
| You don't have to do that, because then you look like you're a FOSS driver, and that's kind of stupid. | ||
| Why can't they put magnets all around the tires, all around the cars itself, all around the bumpers, and put magnets on all the other cars, too? | ||
| That way, when they get near each other, they never actually touch. | ||
| Yeah, that'd be nice. | ||
| They just... | ||
| Super powered magnets. | ||
| Like bumper bowling, but on a racetrack. | ||
| And have the magnets powered by the same electrical engine that does like the 918s. | ||
| Well, you know, like when you were driving on your road today, for example, right? | ||
| You kind of eased into it. | ||
| You didn't go like balls out. | ||
| Well, you didn't go balls out anyway, but you know what I mean. | ||
| You went a steady pace, and then you kind of went faster and faster, right? | ||
| You let some heat in the tires. | ||
| You let things get settled. | ||
| You don't just go like 10 tenths. | ||
| Those are always the guys that crash on the first corner of a track on their first day. | ||
| Yeah, well, I'm not a great driver, but I know how to drive a car. | ||
| And the good thing is that I grew up in Boston, so I drove on snowy weather all the time. | ||
| Boston has the shittiest roads, man. | ||
| They're rough. | ||
| The shittiest roads, and I was a newspaper delivery guy for like five years. | ||
| So I drove 365 days a year. | ||
| I drove every fucking day. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Snowing, raining, didn't matter. | ||
| Same loop, over and over? | ||
| Over and over and over, yeah. | ||
| Car control. | ||
| Up the hills and down, sliding into intersections. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Did you do the over-the-roof toss? | ||
| Yep, I did over-the-roof toss. | ||
| Did you break any windows? | ||
| I broke everything. | ||
| I would roll down the pasture window. | ||
| I could huck it that way. | ||
| I was good with that. | ||
| I would occasionally go with the loop, the skyhook. | ||
| But left-handed, man. | ||
| If I could drive down the street, it was early in the morning, and I knew no cars were coming in the other direction, I would just go in the left lane and just fucking whip them left, right. | ||
| I have a good route. | ||
| As long as they're in plastic, they're going to be fine. | ||
| You fold them up real quick, toss them. | ||
| Would you drive vans? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You had to bag and then toss? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| What you do is you hang the plastic bags from your rearview mirror. | ||
| So you got a rearview mirror. | ||
| You tie the plastic bags off. | ||
| It's on like this cardboard strip. | ||
| And there's like a sheet of plastic bags. | ||
| Like there might be like 50 or 100 bags, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And so then the newspapers are stacked up on your passenger seat. | ||
| And as you're driving, you got to learn how to steer with your knees because you're going real slow. | ||
| You take the newspaper. | ||
| You grab it. | ||
| Fump, fump. | ||
| That's the fold. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| One left, one right, back. | ||
| Bam! | ||
| I got it. | ||
| Now it's like a third of a newspaper. | ||
| Stuff it in that bag. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shroom! | |
| Out the window. | ||
| And I'm telling you, I'm like, boom, boom, whap, boom. | ||
| Look at this muscle memory. | ||
| The muscle memory is still going right now. | ||
| And I'd get pissed if I was fucking around with this. | ||
| Oh, you bitch. | ||
| And then I had to hit the brakes and... | ||
| And you didn't have our compound tires on that bad boy, did you? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| After a while, I invested in a gigantic cargo van with no windows. | ||
| It was like one of those free candy vans. | ||
| Oh, a rape van, huh? | ||
| Because I could pack that bitch with newspapers. | ||
| I got this van for like 500 bucks. | ||
| You never had to go re-up. | ||
| Dude, I could get a thousand newspapers on Sunday in this van. | ||
| It was a good Sunday. | ||
| Sometimes, you know... | ||
| It wouldn't really be a thousand. | ||
| I think the most I had was 450 clients. | ||
| That was the most I ever had. | ||
| It would take hours, but it was too much. | ||
| Because I was doing the Boston Herald, the Boston Globe, and the New York Times. | ||
| I had three routes at the same time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Damn, that's awesome. | ||
| So, I was driving in the fucking snow daily, son. | ||
| And you said it was hard for me to drive with a camera right in front of my face. | ||
| Holding newspapers while driving with your knees sounds just as hard. | ||
| Yeah, but there's no one on the road. | ||
| Especially as high as you probably were. | ||
| No, no, no, I was sober. | ||
| And there was no one on the road. | ||
| It was 5 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| No more than a foot away from the car in front. | ||
| That was pretty skillful, dude. | ||
| Dude, you were driving. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You were. | |
| It was very impressive. | ||
| Very good. | ||
| In the rain, a foot away from a fucking van in front of you. | ||
| I had Joe come with me in the car. | ||
| I was like, yo, come check out what we do. | ||
| And I'm driving his car, him in the passenger seat, Zach is driving my van, and we're fucking, you know, that's what we do, is I have to tailgate the van. | ||
| It's ridiculous how close he gets. | ||
| I mean, I know you're really good at driving. | ||
| I was with him. | ||
| No, that's good. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| It's nerve-wracking. | ||
| I mean, I know you guys have it down to a science. | ||
| You know what the fuck you're doing when you're filming this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We do, yeah. | |
| We bug people out whenever they see us do it. | ||
| They're like, wait a minute. | ||
| The videos don't look nearly this sketchy. | ||
| You should have seen we did one at night, and we had the van with lights, suction cup to the back of the van, a Running gas generator in the back of the van, while doing that, and I'm driving an Aston... | ||
| A running gas generator in the van while you're driving? | ||
| In the van. | ||
| And it's like on fire? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That is crazy! | ||
| And then I'm driving behind the van, directly into these 400 watt lights in an Aston Martin a foot off the bumper at fucking night. | ||
| Oh my god, that is ridiculous. | ||
| It's really sketchy. | ||
| No permits for this? | ||
| No insurance? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shhh! | |
| Allegedly, allegedly, allegedly. | ||
| Allegedly no permits. | ||
| Allegedly we're testing equipment. | ||
| You see you're learning. | ||
| We just happen to have cameras on while we're testing said equipment. | ||
| We have to have proof of our testing in order to get paid. | ||
| We happen to have $400,000 in Porsches and a TV celebrity. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're just testing equipment. | |
| Just screaming. | ||
| This car that he's got, this 4.1 liter, 560 horsepower, is that what it is? | ||
| 540, but... | ||
| 540, whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| It's a lot. | ||
| It's a screaming monster. | ||
| And you hear it literally three quarters of a mile away. | ||
| It's really far. | ||
| Three quarters of a mile away. | ||
| Alex and I were waiting while you were going on your first wild ride. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| And we were like, you hear it? | ||
| You hear it? | ||
| And you were nowhere near us! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| Wow, that's really good. | ||
| That's a great GT3. It was so loud, dude. | ||
| That really is. | ||
| It was rounding corners and shit. | ||
| I've got a GT3 voice now. | ||
| That was really good. | ||
| That was a dope fucking car, man. | ||
| Do you make that noise while you're driving your own car? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| In the shower, you're fucking shifting and shit? | ||
| Yeah, it's like singing along. | ||
| It's like karaoke. | ||
| Do it again. | ||
| Can I get a full lap of Nürburgring right now? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's fucking good. | |
| That's good, man. | ||
| All the skills that you could acquire in this life. | ||
| Making noises that sound like cars. | ||
| It's fucking the top of the list. | ||
| A lot of time I spent, I worked hard. | ||
| It's like video game skills. | ||
| It's like being good at EverQuest. | ||
| It doesn't really... | ||
| There's the guy who does the car noises in the soda can. | ||
| Have you seen that one? | ||
| In a soda can? | ||
| Yeah, the guy who makes Lamborghini noises in the soda can. | ||
| It's fairly awesome. | ||
| That actually makes sense. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's tinny. | ||
| Are you doing it? | ||
| That sounds more like a viper. | ||
| No, that's more like a viper. | ||
| That's a viper, dude. | ||
| There's too much coffee in here. | ||
| I'm getting crazy. | ||
| That's a viper. | ||
| Here's the only good song. | ||
| The only good sound that I do that really sounds real is a dog. | ||
| And one time we were on Fear Factor and a bunch of people were waiting to do this stunt. | ||
| And they were blindfolded. | ||
| They'd move them in in blindfolds because they had to get their camera position set up. | ||
| So they had no idea what the stunt would be. | ||
| So as these people were moving in, I'm going... | ||
| And they're sitting there going, oh Jesus Christ. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And they're like, moving really slow. | |
| Wow, that's fucking creepy. | ||
| That is creepy. | ||
| Have you seen Total Blackout? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Jaleel White's show? | ||
| Jaleel White? | ||
| Urkel? | ||
| No. | ||
| He got a show. | ||
| What kind of show? | ||
| So it's called Total Blackout. | ||
| So they got people to come in and they make them go in pitch black rooms and do shit with their hands. | ||
| So they have to guess what they're touching in pitch black rooms. | ||
| Some of it will be fucking spiders and bullshit, you know what I mean? | ||
| They'll have to rub a sweaty fat man, you know what I mean? | ||
| Generally, people freak out over some dumb shit, so that just kind of fucking got me on that. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| There's no point to it, actually. | ||
| But it's Urkel from that show? | ||
| He's the fucking host. | ||
| Isn't he a big giant dude now? | ||
| No. | ||
| Isn't he? | ||
| Oh, the other guy. | ||
| Urkel's brother. | ||
| Oh, Eddie Wynne? | ||
| No, that's Eddie Wynne. | ||
| Who was Urkel's brother? | ||
| He didn't have a brother. | ||
| Yeah, he had a brother, didn't he? | ||
| Didn't Urkel have a brother? | ||
| No. | ||
| There was a family... | ||
| What? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, I don't think he had a brother. | ||
| Didn't have a fucking brother? | ||
| He was like the lone neighbor. | ||
| Ah, shit. | ||
| I'm so bad on my old school 1990 sitcoms that I never watched. | ||
| But people lose their fucking mind when they can't see shit. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Which I'm sure you're well aware of. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Well I'm a big fan of the sensory deprivation tank. | ||
| I'm always getting one of those things. | ||
| Well the show that you were doing too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you watch your house? | |
| The X Factor stuff. | ||
| Fear Factor, son. | ||
| Ketchup. | ||
| Yeah, there's one in Venice. | ||
| No, I meant Fear Factor. | ||
| What do they charge for that? | ||
| 40 bucks. | ||
| For an hour? | ||
| For an hour and a half, I think. | ||
| So the British version, Hammond was doing it. | ||
| Fear Factor? | ||
| Yeah, I just thought that was cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No kidding! | |
| He has a GT3, so it's GT3 guys. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| So he started doing it after I started doing the US version? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, there was a bunch of different hosts of Fear Factor all over the world. | ||
| How weird. | ||
| Yeah, but that's not crazy. | ||
| He had a GT3 RS. You have a GT3 RS? Crazy, man! | ||
| We're both short. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is fucking nutty. | |
| The coincidences go on and on. | ||
| We're both mildly amusing. | ||
| This is insane. | ||
| You gotta hook up that tank. | ||
| Yeah, well, you should definitely... | ||
| You would love it. | ||
| It's very relaxing, too. | ||
| I did one, like, ten years ago, and I thought it was the coolest thing ever. | ||
| Why didn't you do it again? | ||
| Because I don't live in the state in which I did it. | ||
| Ah, right. | ||
| You did it in New York? | ||
| Yeah, I haven't gotten around to checking it out again. | ||
| They're opening up now. | ||
| It's become a popular thing again. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Yeah, all over the country. | ||
| What are the preferred drugs for sensory deprivation? | ||
| Marijuana is the number one. | ||
| Marijuana is your friend. | ||
| Especially edible. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah, you go the edible route. | ||
| Get to the point where you think you're probably going to be the first guy to die of an overdose and then get a... | ||
| Just get right on heaven's door. | ||
| You want to get right like your fucking Eric Clapton song. | ||
| Knock, knock, knock it on heaven's door. | ||
| Do one of those 180 milligram Chibichus right to the face. | ||
| God damn it! | ||
| Those chibachews, as you're eating them, you start hallucinating as you're chewing. | ||
| You start seeing vapor trails near your lips as you're chewing. | ||
| You don't want to eat too much chibachew. | ||
| It's so easy. | ||
| It's just one centimeter. | ||
| I was on a plane with Joey Diaz, okay? | ||
| And Joey Diaz had already eaten one. | ||
| A full one. | ||
| And I go, how much did I have? | ||
| He goes, don't even eat more than a half. | ||
| And then he takes one, a full one, and puts it in his mouth. | ||
| I go, you had one earlier? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He goes, this is my third one. | |
| He goes, we're on a fucking six-hour flight. | ||
| Uncle Joey's going deep. | ||
| He told me, don't even eat a half, and he ate three of them. | ||
| Was he fucked? | ||
| Oh, he didn't say nothing, but then we landed. | ||
| He goes, I almost had a fucking panic attack. | ||
| I almost opened that door and jumped out. | ||
| I almost was going to tell the lady as the plane was taking off. | ||
| I'm not going to fucking do it. | ||
| I'm not doing this. | ||
| That happened with Ari Shafir once. | ||
| I gave him a breast strip and while we were waiting to take off, he starts clinching to the seat. | ||
| I go, what? | ||
| He goes, nothing. | ||
| And then when we landed, he goes, I was going to get up and I was going to tell him to stop the plane. | ||
| No, you weren't. | ||
| He goes, yes, I was going to tell him to stop the play. | ||
| He got so high, he was going to tell him to stop the play. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We had a friend in town, and there was a little miscommunication. | |
| We gave him a couple edibles, and we didn't make it very, very clear that you only eat one at a time. | ||
| So those three cookies he ate at once, right before having an epic meltdown and puking on his fucking flight. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| You can really hurt yourself. | ||
| You can really pull something. | ||
| I don't do... | ||
| 50 milligrams is my maximum. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's high. | ||
| 50 milligrams is very high. | ||
| 50 is a biggie dose. | ||
| They sell the gold caps in 50s now, and it's like, whoa. | ||
| Well, those candies? | ||
| You ate a candy, right? | ||
| The candies, those are a good dose, because the Jolly Ranchers, they're like, one of them is like, you know, a nice, mellow, not too fucked up. | ||
| You can kind of get through it, and two of them, ooh, you're going to feel tingles. | ||
| Two of them, you're going to be like, I might have just fucked up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe I should've taken that second one. | |
| But if you really want to go crazy... | ||
| The Chibichus are the really, really gnarly ones. | ||
| I was gonna say, the Chibichus is probably like five of those. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, that's how strong a Chibichu is. | ||
| It's like five of those. | ||
| When I first saw that and it said 180 milligrams, I was like, there's no way that they could sell this to somebody. | ||
| Don't give a fuck. | ||
| They know that there's a market. | ||
| They know there's a market out there. | ||
| Well, we have... | ||
| I mean, have you come across dabs yet? | ||
| Dabs are like... | ||
| I don't fuck around with that stuff, dude. | ||
| It's too much. | ||
| Everybody's going too deep. | ||
| You're going too deep and you don't even know what's down there. | ||
| You know? | ||
| You're going to the Marianas Trench and fucking Godzilla's taking a shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| James Cameron's not doing dabs, though. | ||
| Yeah, he's not. | ||
| Could you imagine being high as fuck at the bottom of the ocean and also being a billionaire at the same time being like, what am I doing down here? | ||
| I have so much money. | ||
| I could have just sent a fucking camera down here and got the exact same thing. | ||
| You know how crazy James Cameron is? | ||
| Think about how crazy he is. | ||
| He's got at least a billion dollars, probably more. | ||
| At least. | ||
| And he's built a fucking submarine to go to the lowest point and become the first guy to do it. | ||
| I read the best quote from James. | ||
| In the month of this searching for the plane, the Malaysia plane, they're looking for it. | ||
| So someone asked James Cameron, What do you think? | ||
| You're into this shit. | ||
| How do we find the fucking plane? | ||
| And he's talking about... | ||
| He actually was on Reddit and he actually did a very thorough explanation of how one would go about searching for the plane. | ||
| And he actually was like, you don't need my submarine because my submarine is too... | ||
| Too much for this mission. | ||
| You'd back it off one and use a slightly worse sub than James Cameron has in order to find the missing plane which hasn't been found yet. | ||
| But isn't it impossible to find something in the ocean? | ||
| The plane is just the size of a plane. | ||
| Dude, there are sharks that just got discovered in the last few years. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That shit's gone. | ||
| I mean, how could you find it? | ||
| You have to be really lucky. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| They found the fucking Titanic. | ||
| Yeah, but it looked like a long time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's true. | |
| A long, long time. | ||
| It only took them like 80 years. | ||
| 70... | ||
| 74 years. | ||
| Bob Ballard, 1986, I believe. | ||
| Was it really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That is a crazy... | ||
| But they knew the exact path of the Titanic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's true. | |
| That's true. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| They made movies about raising the Titanic before they found it. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Oh, remember the raising the Titanic movie? | ||
| They tied a bunch of fucking lift bags to it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Thought that would work. | ||
| Airbags, yeah. | ||
| It did. | ||
| It did work. | ||
| They got raised. | ||
| And then there was a Soviet nuclear bomb. | ||
| There's this podcast that I listen to all the time. | ||
| It's called Radiolab. | ||
| And it's a great podcast. | ||
| Radiolab from NYC. WNYC. And they had this episode on a Glomar response. | ||
| And a Glomar response is, I can neither confirm nor deny. | ||
| You know, everybody uses that all the time. | ||
| It came from Global Marine. | ||
| And Global Marine was a company that was hired... | ||
| To try to retrieve a sunken Russian submarine. | ||
| And this was right after Watergate. | ||
| This was in the 1970s. | ||
| So because everybody was really sensitive about lies, the Freedom of Information Act had come about, and they'd gotten to the point where they were forced to talk and discuss about what they were doing out there in the ocean. | ||
| Were you actually trying to retrieve a Russian submarine? | ||
| Did you retrieve a Russian submarine? | ||
| And they said, we can neither confirm nor deny. | ||
| And that had become, because of that Glomar response, that's like a standard phrase now. | ||
| So they had to try to figure out, they were forced by law to respond and to give information. | ||
| So that was the information they get, that they can neither confirm nor deny. | ||
| Did they find it? | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| Oh yeah, they found it, for sure. | ||
| Not only did they find it, they almost pulled it up. | ||
| They attached this giant claw to a huge ship, and they were trying to pick this thing up in the ocean. | ||
| Like the fucking thing that gets toys? | ||
| Yes, exactly! | ||
| And it worked just as well. | ||
| That thing never works. | ||
| It got halfway up and then it broke off. | ||
| I almost got an iPod Nano! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck! | |
| No, it's more like a fluffy little bunny or something. | ||
| It was miles deep. | ||
| Miles deep in the ocean. | ||
| And they got a hold of it and they got it on film. | ||
| And they were watching it as they were bringing it up. | ||
| But the feedback, the loop, from watching it was delayed. | ||
| So they felt this thump. | ||
| And then they looked at the film, and the film showed that the boat was still there. | ||
| So then they refreshed the feed, and the boat was gone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're like, fuck. | |
| They dropped it, basically. | ||
| Dropped it back to the bottom of the ocean. | ||
| Just crushed the shit. | ||
| Well, it's millions and millions and millions of pounds. | ||
| And they're clawing it with a fucking little carny cloth. | ||
| You've got to love that optimism, though. | ||
| They really thought they probably got it. | ||
| Yeah, well, they came close. | ||
| They did lift it up off the ground and got it a mile up. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| They brought it pretty fucking far up before it broke off. | ||
| I wish there was a live video of it just breaking free. | ||
| Shit! | ||
| Millions and millions and millions of dollars. | ||
| But apparently, eventually, they got it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I think Ballard had to do the same thing. | ||
| He had to find a whole bunch of submarines and do this stuff for the government, and this Titanic thing was a side thing. | ||
| Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's how it was. | ||
| It's part of the skim. | ||
| Well, isn't it fun when they find these sunken boats from the Roman era? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| The galleons and stuff full of gold. | ||
| Someone just found ten million dollars in gold in their backyard. | ||
| In their backyard. | ||
| In California. | ||
| They found gold coins. | ||
| It's someone in the fucking 1800s buried in their backyard. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Did he have to give it back? | ||
| No, it's theirs! | ||
| But I did read they had to pay taxes on it. | ||
| Oh god, the government's a cunt. | ||
| You didn't find shit, you fuckhead. | ||
| It's gold. | ||
| How can you pay taxes on gold? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because they probably figured out some paperwork where it was owed in 1800, right? | |
| Maybe it was something that said that if they sold it. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Yeah, they paid taxes. | ||
| Man, that should be how you're freeing away from taxes because taxes is only about money. | ||
| I may have misconstrued the story. | ||
| Some analysts said if they ever sold it, they would have to pay taxes or blah, blah, blah. | ||
| Because I would think that... | ||
| Originally, money was supposed to be gold notes, right? | ||
| It was like, this $100 is worth $100 in gold. | ||
| If you already have the $100 in gold, you don't need the money. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck the money. | |
| So if you don't need the money... | ||
| What am I paying taxes on again? | ||
| What the fuck's going on here, man? | ||
| They just chisel a corner of it off. | ||
| Here you go. | ||
| Here's a little piece for you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think in the future, gold, the idea of a resource-based economy, whether it's gold or diamonds or have it be worth that, that's a way better idea. | ||
| Yeah, than paper. | ||
| Credit cards and money. | ||
| The system that we have now, the idea of the system that we have now, a piece of paper represents a hundred bucks, and what the hundred bucks gets you fluctuates depending on how the fucking economy's doing. | ||
| Bitcoins, man. | ||
| Buy bitcoins. | ||
| I have some bitcoins. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| Yeah, but I didn't buy them. | ||
| So I'm giving them away. | ||
| I did a thing. | ||
| I had this guy on... | ||
| I listened to your Bitcoin podcast. | ||
| It was super interesting, actually. | ||
| Well, you know, I think it's possible. | ||
| It's very possible that that could be a currency in the future. | ||
| It was right. | ||
| I listened to that podcast immediately before that Mt. | ||
| Gox thing took fucking everyone's money down with me. | ||
| I was like, oh shit! | ||
| That was hilarious. | ||
| That Mt. | ||
| Gox thing just shows you how nutty the internet is. | ||
| I laughed, because everyone said I should buy bitcoins instead of cars, and I said, fuck you, I can still drive my cars, where's your bitcoins? | ||
| Well, the bitcoins are still good if they weren't in Mt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gox. | |
| The Mt. | ||
| Gox thing was a crazy thing, because it was the Magic the Gathering exchange. | ||
| That's what it was. | ||
| Fuck off, is that what that is? | ||
| Yes, it was. | ||
| Magic the Gathering exchange was with the originator of Mt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gox. | |
| That's funny. | ||
| And what they originally were supposed to be doing was exchanging things from the fucking game. | ||
| And then along the way, they start... | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Yes, look up the story. | ||
| Fascinating shit. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| And along the way, they started... | ||
| Dealing digital currency. | ||
| And when they started doing it, they didn't have any of the security in place. | ||
| They weren't set up for it, and they've lost something like $350 million worth of Bitcoin. | ||
| So they started by trading mana? | ||
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
| I don't know how that stuff works, but that's what it came... | ||
| Mt. | ||
| Gox is short for Magic the Gathering Exchange. | ||
| How nerdy is it that I know what the currency is in Magic the Gathering? | ||
| You did know, and I didn't even know what you were talking about. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Manna is the currency in Magic the Gathering. | ||
| Erase that from your head. | ||
| Yes, I am that fucking horrible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on, man. | |
| You can get that shit out of your head. | ||
| Yo, red deck, son. | ||
| Alright, if you had to recommend a convertible sports car in today's climate, what's the car? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh... | |
| You got a hundred grand below. | ||
| A hundred? | ||
| Ooh, a hundred? | ||
| Two hundred. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| 200, okay. | ||
| No, no, alright. | ||
| Joe's like, how much money do I have to spend right now? | ||
| Alright. | ||
| Well, for you? | ||
| No, for anybody. | ||
| What I'm saying is... | ||
| In the old days, okay, when you looked at a guy driving a sports car, you look at a gentleman, he had a scarf on, it's blowing in the breeze, and he's got fucking pilot's goggles on. | ||
| Wayfarers and a fucking cigar. | ||
| There was always no roof, you know? | ||
| It was like the roofless option was the sporty option. | ||
| But somewhere along the line, we found that to be folly. | ||
| Well, the chassis rigidity came into play, you know? | ||
| Because your GT500 was a convertible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you did not like the chassis, though. | ||
| I did not like the chassis. | ||
| What I did like was how stupid that car was. | ||
| It was America, fuck yeah, in a car. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| 550 horsepower. | ||
| By being a convertible, it had kind of a shitty chassis. | ||
| It's sloppy. | ||
| The coups are somewhere along the way... | ||
| People started saying, if you want to really get the performance out of it, it has to be a coupe. | ||
| Well, sometimes they actually make cars that were meant to be convertibles from the get-go, like the MP12C in a way. | ||
| Yeah, and the Nissan 370Z as well was designed to be a roadster first. | ||
| Yeah, the MP12CZ fucking, how much does that bitch cost? | ||
| So used, they're about... | ||
| Did you want to take a leak? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Used, they're 170. Sweating it up. | ||
| It's hot in here, I think. | ||
| 170. Those things cost $170,000? | ||
| Used. | ||
| And the top pops down and goes to the back in some way? | ||
| Or is that a spider version? | ||
| It's a spider. | ||
| It does, yeah. | ||
| It's like $250,000, $260,000. | ||
| $250,000. | ||
| It's a goddamn house in New Orleans. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or three in Detroit. | ||
| In America, it's not even a parking spot. | ||
| No, if you want a convertible for $100,000, you want a Jaguar F-Type. | ||
| That new Jaguar. | ||
| I was going to ask you about that. | ||
| Is that a cool car? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It looks pretty wild. | ||
| Yeah, it's cool. | ||
| Dynamically, not quite as good as the 911, but so fucking cool. | ||
| Not quite as good, but pretty goddamn good. | ||
| But so cool. | ||
| As a cruiser... | ||
| As a go fast and have fun, but I don't care about a lap time cruiser. | ||
| It makes a great sound. | ||
| It's fucking loud and obnoxious. | ||
| It's a beautiful looking car too. | ||
| I saw one at the mall the other day. | ||
| I was like, holy shit. | ||
| But you shit on Jags because you shit on British cars. | ||
| I tried to do it. | ||
| I had an XKR convertible in 1999. It was a supercharged version, the R version. | ||
| That was a cool looking car. | ||
| It was a cool design. | ||
| I thought it looked actually better than the Aston Martin, which was a DB7. And it, you know, it was faster, but it was just really floppy. | ||
| I mean, I was going to kill myself driving at a track or in canyons in that car, because the suspension, it was just all floppy. | ||
| You've driven fucking every car there is, and for you to say that his cars are the best cars you've ever driven. | ||
| They're really, well, when I drove a stock GT3 RS at the time, I was like, this is the best car I've ever driven. | ||
| Right. | ||
| His cars are just better than that. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| It's that turned the 12th. | ||
| What about the Ferrari 458? | ||
| They're very nice. | ||
| They are very nice. | ||
| The Porsche GG3 RS is everything that you want about driving a race car, but it doesn't beat you up for making that decision. | ||
| A lot of other cars, I just drove the Mercedes SLS Black Series, which is the racetrack version of their going SLS. All the trade-off you get for the racetrack performance makes it worse to drive on the street. | ||
| The throttle's touchy, it's stiff, it's wider and lower and less practical, but the GT3 RS and Alex's cars, they don't kick you in the fucking dick because you decided you wanted to drive a race car. | ||
| Do you like luxury cars at all? | ||
| Do you like a Lexus LS? They're alright, yeah. | ||
| The new Range Rovers? | ||
| I love them. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Love them. | ||
| Now, aren't Range Rovers kinda shitty cars though? | ||
| They're not reliable, but when they work, they're amazing. | ||
| They're good at going off-road. | ||
| They're good on farms. | ||
| They're really good off-road, right? | ||
| So comfortable. | ||
| How come they're not reliable? | ||
| Because they're built in England. | ||
| That's what it is, right? | ||
| That is why. | ||
| We have great ideas. | ||
| We have really great ideas. | ||
| But our manufacturing, it went down the toilet many years ago. | ||
| And we didn't change since the board. | ||
| Right now is a good time for a Range Rover. | ||
| All the money that Ford put into them over the last 10 years is coming out in Jaguar and Land Rover's new cars now. | ||
| Ford owns Jaguar and Land Rover? | ||
| Owned for a while. | ||
| Now Tata owns. | ||
| An Indian company. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, Tata. | |
| Who the fuck is Tata? | ||
| It's an Indian, very rich Indian dude. | ||
| And they make these little, like, I don't know what... | ||
| They make little, like, almost smart car type little cheap cars in India, but they also now own Jaguar and Land Rover. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Well, it's better than, like, a Russian kid owning a car company, right? | ||
| Is that bad? | ||
| That wasn't bad. | ||
| Who was that? | ||
| That was, uh, what did they, who did they buy? | ||
| There was a company in England called TVR. TVR, yeah. | ||
| So remember that movie with John Travolta? | ||
| Yeah, the Tuscan? | ||
| The one where he got hit by lightning and became super smart? | ||
| No, not that one. | ||
| Why do you remember that one? | ||
| I remember that one. | ||
| Why do you remember that one? | ||
| I became really good at Portuguese. | ||
| You learned the Portuguese language in 20 minutes? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Not all of it. | ||
| There's a fucking new one with Scarlett Johansson. | ||
| They inject her with some shit, and she learns Chinese in five minutes. | ||
| It's the same fucking movie. | ||
| She's ripping off John Travolta. | ||
| Goddammit, Scarlett, you're better than that. | ||
| You're an Avenger. | ||
| He had his real hair then? | ||
| Yeah, everyone went nuts for that car, and that was a TVR, because you didn't have it here. | ||
| It was a company that was sort of on the edge of... | ||
| Death, pretty much his whole life, and so some Russian billionaire kid bought it as sort of a toy. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| There's a TVR. Oh, throw that in the garbage. | ||
| No, but that isn't the one. | ||
| You like these. | ||
| These things are raw and light and stick-shift. | ||
| They're like an English viper, but just not even built that well. | ||
| Do you remember that shitty movie with Charlie Sheen, which is a Porsche thief? | ||
| Yeah, No Man's Land. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love that movie. | |
| That's like, all the Porsche people love that movie. | ||
| Or other shitty Charlie Sheen movie, The Chase. | ||
| That was really bad. | ||
| Shitty? | ||
| That was Nick Nolte? | ||
| Or Nick Cage? | ||
| Yeah, remember No Man's Land. | ||
| Look at No Man's Land, right? | ||
| Just watch a scene where there's actually a car chase in it, and you see them speeding away in an 80s 911 turbo or whatever 911 they're stealing. | ||
| And then following them is always, you know, this shitty 80s Camaro. | ||
| And it cannot go straight or put down any power of any kind. | ||
| It's just literally doing this the whole way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They really, they had Porsche's deal. | ||
| Listen, you got to make that chase car a real shitbox. | ||
| Well, back in the days, like those 930 turbos that was in that movie, what else could, what could beat them back then? | ||
| Ferraris, Lambo. | ||
| Was it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Lambo's not going on a turn. | ||
| 959. So you would have to have something like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it was pre-959, wasn't it? | ||
| Yeah, it was. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Actually, I don't know. | ||
| Those 930 turbos, there was nothing around that could fuck with those back then. | ||
| Those were 0-60 in 5 seconds in 1979. In first gear. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| My 79, 930, I could get on the freeway and I would start from a stop sign and go on the freeway and I did not change gear. | ||
| I could just sit there. | ||
| Now, is it possible to do something like that, but make it a car that you could, like, that 9 Meister, 9 RSR, or whatever the fuck they call it, is it possible to make something like that that you could drive like a GT3, like an older 911? | ||
| No. | ||
| Too much work? | ||
| Too much race? | ||
| How does that 9 Meister, how can we do that? | ||
| Too much Frankenstein. | ||
| Have you ever seen that video? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it's a race car. | ||
| Basically a race car. | ||
| It would have zero compliance. | ||
| You'd get beaten up. | ||
| You could drive it. | ||
| You wouldn't like it. | ||
| That's perfect. | ||
| That's what I'm looking for. | ||
| I'm looking for something that's bolted right to the wheels themselves. | ||
| I don't need any suspension. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, you don't need that. | |
| That old Porsche that you saw us make the video of, the red one, it's like that. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| That car beats you up a little bit. | ||
| That car was amazing. | ||
| BBI Autosport. | ||
| That thing is insane. | ||
| Yeah, it's nutty. | ||
| 275 horsepower at the wheels, and how much does it weigh? | ||
| 2,500 pounds. | ||
| 2,200 pounds or something? | ||
| It's stupid light. | ||
| Nothing in it, right? | ||
| It's got nothing in it. | ||
| No carpet. | ||
| No nothing. | ||
| But isn't it interesting that there's a bunch of people that are going to that? | ||
| Like the actual lead designer of Bugatti has a Porsche that he has. | ||
| Kevlar body panels. | ||
| He has no stereo. | ||
| The head of a company that makes the heaviest fucking car, you know, 4,400 pounds is a Veyron. | ||
| He chooses to drive something that's like 2,000 pounds. | ||
| The most minimalist version of that car, too. | ||
| I mean, he has the same thing. | ||
| A gutted interior, everything is removed, no AC, no radio, no nothing. | ||
| He just has this super light car, and it doesn't even look like a crazy engine. | ||
| No, it's not even a crazy engine. | ||
| It's a fairly basic engine, isn't it? | ||
| Yeah, for those kind of cars, yeah. | ||
| You don't need much. | ||
| Light goes a long way. | ||
| The reason I was getting at this is you were saying while you were driving that BBI car, that after all these years of doing Tuned, where you're driving all these fucking wild, crazy, supercharged, fucking super horsepower, that this is what you were enjoying. | ||
| Light is really good. | ||
| What's good about light? | ||
| Well, there's like all this crazy power. | ||
| It's like you can't use that ever. | ||
| You get into it for two seconds and then you have no road left. | ||
| Right, and then to use it continuously, you have to stop that 5,000 pound brick, you know, repeatedly, and then your brakes are shit, you know, and you're surprised why. | ||
| You have runways and stuff. | ||
| When it gets to the top end of this These people are racing on runways. | ||
| That Porsche, the 1600 horsepower? | ||
| Yeah, the Evo guys, you know, with the parachute on the back, I mean, yeah, they have to go to, like, fully sanctioned runways. | ||
| But when you're driving a car like that BBI Porsche, you can use all of it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| Because light is good. | ||
| You don't need a zillion horsepower. | ||
| You didn't enjoy it as much as you enjoyed driving the GT3 RS. Oh, the limits are fucking so high. | ||
| I'd go to jail in 10 minutes if I had one of those things. | ||
| If you had one of the GT3 RSs, but if you had one of those BBI Porsches, you could actually drive it all the time. | ||
| I could probably drive it and stay in jail, but my body would shrivel up into a fucking old man. | ||
| Here's the question, though. | ||
| My back is fucking shot. | ||
| But here's the question. | ||
| Would you be able to enjoy it after driving a GT3 RS? Probably. | ||
| Something that's like old is sort of like frozen in time. | ||
| It will always be that. | ||
| You can always go back to it, and it doesn't wear off. | ||
| Whereas like... | ||
| This new shit where it's like computer controlled and paddle shifters. | ||
| Every time there's the new one, the old one feels old. | ||
| Whereas something that is stick shift and sort of analog is kind of timeless and sort of frozen in that moment. | ||
| Like a 69 Mustang. | ||
| It will always be a 69 Mustang. | ||
| And it will never feel any older than it already is. | ||
| But an 89 Mustang is kind of dog shit. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| I'm taking mine to get some crazy shit. | ||
| Yeah, but NSX feels good. | ||
| It feels as good as any Cayman that Porsche has ever done. | ||
| Yeah, I had one. | ||
| It was a 275 horsepower, 5-speed, or 6-speed. | ||
| It was one of my favorite cars ever. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It wasn't that fast, but it was fun to drive. | ||
| It's fun to ring it out, and you can use it. | ||
| You can use the whole thing. | ||
| And it was so balanced. | ||
| The car really made you feel like you were really doing it. | ||
| You were really moving. | ||
| Except the horns on the thumb. | ||
| Ferrari has that now. | ||
| They have all the buttons. | ||
| What? | ||
| Ferrari has that now? | ||
| Blinkers are on the steering wheel. | ||
| The horn is on the steering wheel? | ||
| The horn is in the same place as it was in your car. | ||
| The blinkers are on the steering wheel, too. | ||
| How dare they? | ||
| How dare they? | ||
| What excites you about what's coming out right now? | ||
| About the new cars that are out that you've been driving. | ||
| How many cars do you drive a year? | ||
| 150 to 200 usually. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a lot. | |
| A lot of new cars. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| What is exciting right now? | ||
| Well, the new Mustang is exciting. | ||
| Independent suspension in the Mustang, finally. | ||
| A turbo engine. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, there's a four-cylinder turbo that's going to be kind of the tuner special for the Mustang. | ||
| It's going to be neat. | ||
| That's going to be interesting, too, because it's going to be lightweight in the front, right? | ||
| What about the Alpha 4C? Have you driven that? | ||
| I haven't driven it. | ||
| Chris Harris drove it and liked it. | ||
| Other people have driven it and said different things. | ||
| I'm excited for it. | ||
| I want to try it. | ||
| When are they going to put out the big horsepower Mustang? | ||
| Because they're going to have a new version of the Shelby? | ||
| It's probably 2016, I would bet. | ||
| It'll be at least a year after it first comes out. | ||
| Are they going to have a GT, though? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's three engines. | ||
| The base one is a V6 and the turbo four is a step up from the V6, actually. | ||
| And then the V8 will be like 450 horsepower. | ||
| That's going to be interesting to see what it's like. | ||
| It'll be the Boss 302 engine, is the V8. I wonder if they'll do like a whole Laguna Seca version of it. | ||
| They'll do something like that. | ||
| The Boss 302 was too successful for them not to do another something. | ||
| That's really cool. | ||
| And the new Challenger Hellcat, which is the best name ever for a car. | ||
| Yeah, I just looked at pictures of that, man. | ||
| It's pretty beastie looking. | ||
| It looks pretty badass, but it also looks like it doesn't have any fucking back tires. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It doesn't look like a very meaty, back-tired vehicle. | |
| I bet the tires go... | ||
| Like, look at that. | ||
| I'm not comfortable stomping on the gas. | ||
| I think it's probably meant for doing burnouts. | ||
| Which is probably why. | ||
| The skinnier the tire, the more burnout, yeah. | ||
| Well, that'll work. | ||
| It's 600 fucking horsepower. | ||
| I love it, though. | ||
| And the new M3 and M4, I'm excited for. | ||
| I just hope that this has some handling to it. | ||
| I think it would be cool if they had it where it can compete with the new Camaro, the LS. Those cars are big, man. | ||
| That's a 4,000-pound-plus car. | ||
| It's a big car. | ||
| Those cars are GT cars. | ||
| They're great on a road trip. | ||
| They're great for... | ||
| But if it had a ZL1-type suspension in it, how much bigger is this than a Camaro? | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, it's probably 600 pounds, 700 pounds heavier. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah, it's a big girl, that thing. | ||
| I drove one when I did my sci-fi show. | ||
| I enjoyed it, but it did feel like a GT car. | ||
| It's a good cruiser. | ||
| The tighter the corner, the worse it does. | ||
| Yeah, I liked it. | ||
| They're neat, they're just not race cars. | ||
| Wouldn't you rather have, like, you know, a thousand pounds less than a hundred horsepower more, though? | ||
| You know, like a three thousand pound car would be so much better. | ||
| Yeah, but there ain't nothing wrong with a six hundred and sixty pound Dodge Challenger. | ||
| Yeah, that's the shit. | ||
| I don't want one in my own garage. | ||
| I'm not gonna go drop 60 on it right now, but I'm glad it exists. | ||
| Yeah, but as a comfortable daily driver, it's a comfortable car to drive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a great car. | |
| Really good seats. | ||
| Most powerful muscle car in Chrysler history. | ||
| Does it have any specs? | ||
| I think it's supposed to be 666 horsepower. | ||
| It's a supercharged 6.4 liter V8. And wait, look, scroll back up real quick. | ||
| See this? | ||
| That headlight, that's an air intake right next to the headlight. | ||
| What? | ||
| That's straight out of JDM, dude. | ||
| Where they take out the headlight and put an intake there? | ||
| They've done that here. | ||
| So you remember you said you had a super? | ||
| A lot of people would take that front light out, right? | ||
| And I think it was on the driver's side. | ||
| And so they'd go down the track at night with one light, which was illegal. | ||
| But they'd have this hole going all the way in with a tube and intake into the engine. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| Does that mean it takes away one of the headlights to make it less safe to drive? | ||
| No, the inner ones are auxiliary fog lights or whatever. | ||
| Yeah, on that car. | ||
| They've just changed the headlight pattern to make it cool. | ||
| And it's actually, it's got like a little, what they call angel eyes, like BMWs have the rings. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| That intake's got an angel eye thing around it. | ||
| Isn't it a weird time for fucking performance cars where a car that used to be ridiculous is out of the box Mustang GT. It used to be ridiculous to have 420 fucking horsepower. | ||
| I just drove a Lamborghini Countach quattro valve. | ||
| Fastest car in the world at the time. | ||
| Mustang GT today makes as much horsepower as this. | ||
| That you can buy for 28 grand. | ||
| Is there a corresponding increase in traffic accidents with all this horsepower? | ||
| Increased safety features. | ||
| Tires are a big difference now. | ||
| The speed limits haven't gone up. | ||
| Speed limits are exactly the fucking same. | ||
| They have gone up a little. | ||
| Have you ever seen that show called Fifth Gear? | ||
| It was the original guys from Top Gear. | ||
| So they went off and did a more serious car show. | ||
| I think it was about... | ||
| Three years ago, they did this shoot or, you know, segment on traction control, and they had Tiff Nadell trying to base... | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Hellcat. | |
| Oh, my word. | ||
| Sticks with a fucking manual transmission. | ||
| No more pistol grip, though. | ||
| America! | ||
| Fuck yeah! | ||
| I'll tell you why, because the pistol grip kind of sucked a fat dick. | ||
| Overrated. | ||
| It was overrated. | ||
| Wasn't that cool? | ||
| Well, they had this law in Europe, basically, in all of Europe, where you have to have traction control on all cars now, and the system has to be so good that even Tiff Nadell could not get the car to slide. | ||
| He tried every single thing he could to get it to slide. | ||
| Remember that one? | ||
| That was crazy, yeah. | ||
| I wonder, if anything, what they've done to make the tires larger. | ||
| It says the subtle trimmed hem of the wheel wells accommodates the aggressive 20-inch aluminum wheel and tire package. | ||
| Because that's what I would worry about. | ||
| I have a fucking Peterman catalog. | ||
| They've gone inward with it. | ||
| The wheels are deeper. | ||
| Oh, I see. | ||
| They're a deeper wheel, so they don't stick out any further. | ||
| They go in further. | ||
| You know what else is silly, though, with these newer cars? | ||
| I don't even know how big are those wheels. | ||
| They're probably 21. Why don't you watch your mouth when you're in my country calling our cars silly? | ||
| How about that? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| All of these cars. | ||
| Even a 991 Turbo. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| It's got 20 inch wheels. | ||
| 20. Why not just have, you know, 22s? | ||
| Because people want their shit on rims. | ||
| Is 20 inch too big? | ||
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
| Race cars still use 18s. | ||
| That's the optimum. | ||
| Do they use 20 just for looks? | ||
| Pretty much. | ||
| And to fit bigger brakes. | ||
| But you gotta admit, it does look fresh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It does. | |
| I agree, but... | ||
| Can I plug something before we get out of here? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's get out of here. | |
| So last time I was on the show, we talked about going off this off-road adventure we were doing, 600 miles off-road, the state of Washington. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| In some shitboxes. | ||
| The film comes out June 1st. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| What's it called? | ||
| It's called All Cars Go to Heaven. | ||
| It's available on Vimeo as a rental or a digital download. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| It's also available on our YouTube channel. | ||
| Very cool. | ||
| And we... | ||
| Shenanigans? | ||
| We shenanigansed. | ||
| We shenanigansed the shit out of a couple of beater cars across the state of Washington. | ||
| It was fantastic. | ||
| I can't wait to see it. | ||
| Somebody produced this for you? | ||
| Did you guys do it in-house? | ||
| We did it all in-house. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| And our whole crew appears on camera, too, not just me. | ||
| That's glorious. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| All cars go to heaven. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Give me some volume. | ||
| The entire state of Washington. | ||
| I am driving a Jeep Grand Cherokee. | ||
| Oh, you got headphones? | ||
| Zach is driving that. | ||
| And it's day two so far. | ||
| The hood is up and he's down half a suspension. | ||
| Want to see how the rest of it goes? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Watch the whole movie only at the smoking tire. | |
| Yeah, so we basically bought some cheap cars. | ||
| Tried to go 600 miles off-road across the entire state of Washington into Canada. | ||
| I really like being out. | ||
| And it's harder than it looks. | ||
| And you drove over ground? | ||
| No off-roading. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| That's an 87 Tercel we bought for $300. | ||
| Was someone surfing on the hood? | ||
| Oh, that was Zach. | ||
| Yeah, Zach. | ||
| That's not recommended. | ||
| No, not at all. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And so it's a good time. | ||
| That sounds awesome, man. | ||
| Yeah, it's like $4, I think. | ||
| Comes out June 1st. | ||
| $4, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
| Less than this beer right here. | ||
| Yeah, 16 quarters. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Drop it up. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| So June 1st, thesmokingtire.com slash film. | ||
| Sounds glorious. | ||
| And Drive on NBC Sports. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Starts Saturday the 24th at 9.30 a.m. | ||
| Eastern, which is stupid. | ||
| It's right before Monaco Grand Prix qualifying, though. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| And then it repeats at 10.30 p.m. | ||
| Eastern on NBC Sports. | ||
| Yeah, you couldn't ask for a better one. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| That's a good one. | ||
| Right after Monaco Grand Prix qualifying. | ||
| Well, let me know when it comes out, and we'd be happy to promote it here. | ||
| And let me know... | ||
| I'll give you some codes to download the film, to give away to people or whatever. | ||
| The film, let me know that. | ||
| Let me know the show. | ||
| I'll let everybody know when the show comes out. | ||
| And you can follow Matt online, The Smoking Tire on Twitter. | ||
| And what's the website? | ||
| TheSmokingTire.com. | ||
| TheSmokingTire.com. | ||
| SharkWorks. | ||
| If you want to get your car hooked up, if you're interested in getting, you know, maybe you do. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe like, fuck you, Joe Rogan. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| We've got like over 500 cars. | ||
| That's just some of the ones that we've done that we put up there. | ||
| And if you're just an enthusiast and you dream one day in the future, watch some of the videos online because they're pretty fucking awesome. | ||
| We're going to have your car and your car. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Coming on Smoking Tire. | ||
| Glorious, glorious. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Thank you, Alex. | ||
| Good times, my friend. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| And you can follow Alex on Twitter at SharkWorks, right? | ||
| That's correct. | ||
| SharkWorks on Twitter. | ||
| With an E. Works, yeah. | ||
| W-E-R-K-S. SharkWorks. | ||
| And that's it. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Thank you to our sponsors. | ||
| Thanks to Stamps.com. | ||
| Use the code word J-R-E and save yourself some money. | ||
| Get a $110 bonus offer, including $55, up to $55 of free postage and a free digital scale. | ||
| Thanks also to LegalZoom.com. | ||
| LegalZoom.com. | ||
| What was the code of LegalZoom? | ||
| Goddammit, Jamie. | ||
| Goddammit, Jamie. | ||
| I'll tell you right now. | ||
| I've got it in front of me. | ||
| Use the code word ROGAN at checkout. | ||
| Save yourself some money. | ||
| Alright, we'll be back next week. | ||
| Mad guests. | ||
| Lots of fascinating conversations to have and interesting people to talk to. | ||
| And that's it. | ||
| So we see you soon. | ||
| Much love to everybody. | ||
| Big kiss. |
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