Sept. 9, 2013 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:56:56
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Hello, freaks. | ||
| What the fuck's going on? | ||
| This episode of the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. | ||
| And if you've heard the podcast before, you've heard us talk about it before. | ||
| But in a nutshell, as simple as we can put it, it's the easiest way to make a website. | ||
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| They have it down to like a sort of a point-and-click type of scenario. | ||
| And they have so much confidence in it that they allow you to use it without actually paying for it. | ||
| The idea is, like, they're so confident that it makes a badass website, they'll allow you to make your website and then go, you know what, this is pretty badass. | ||
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| So that's squarespace.com. | ||
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|
unidentified
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Dope-ass. | |
| It's pretty badass. | ||
| Cool. | ||
| Insert whatever cool adjective you would like. | ||
| It's working. | ||
| It's excellent. | ||
| We enjoy it very much so. | ||
| So Squarespace.com and the code is Joe and the number nine. | ||
| All together as one word. | ||
| We're also brought to you by Onnit.com. | ||
| O-N-N-I-T. If you haven't been there in a while and you haven't seen the Primal Bells that we've added, we have these... | ||
| I got the dude's name, and I never had it before, so I must recite Homeboy's name here. | ||
| Give me one second here to find it. | ||
| These Primal Bells are these kettlebells that we had designed by an artist. | ||
| His name is... | ||
| They're really cool. | ||
| I just want to get them to put on my bookshelf or something like that. | ||
| Scare people. | ||
| I don't think they're scaring anybody. | ||
| His name is Steven Shubin Jr., and he's a badass artist. | ||
| And he did a really cool chimp, a really cool gorilla, and now an orangutan. | ||
| And the orangutan one is kind of special because five bucks out of every purchase goes to a foundation that's trying to save orangutans. | ||
| Orangutans are in danger of extinction, as are, I think, pretty much all primates that are out in the wild these days. | ||
| It's tough times out there. | ||
| For primates that aren't as smart as us. | ||
| They added the pounds, but they still kept the pood. | ||
| They just won't let go of the pood. | ||
| Yes, they won't let go of the pood. | ||
| But now at least it'll tell you. | ||
| So the gorilla is 72 pounds, the orangutan is 54 pounds, and the chimp is 36 pounds. | ||
| If you've never done any kind of lifting weights or any kind of exercise before, if you're like, you know what, I've got to do something about this body, I would suggest start very light. | ||
| Do not try to be a hero. | ||
| When you do these exercises, if you can... | ||
| I would also suggest hire a trainer to show you how to do it properly. | ||
| And if you can, if he allows you to, videotape the session so that you can sort of check. | ||
| The most important thing when you're doing anything physical is your form and making sure you don't get hurt for no reason. | ||
| You will feel so stupid if you get hurt. | ||
| And if you get hurt, where you could avoid it? | ||
| And I've done it, trust me. | ||
| But the big thing is, if you do get hurt, it takes a long time to heal. | ||
| It takes months. | ||
| And, you know, then you're going to get fat again. | ||
| And then you're going to be mad at yourself. | ||
| All that can be avoided. | ||
| So go to Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T. Check out the new Primal Kettlebells. | ||
| We have some, if you've, especially if you've got a little experience in using kettlebells, we have some amazing DVDs by this guy Keith Weber. | ||
| Extreme Kettlebell Cardio Workout. | ||
| We have all sorts of shit for what we call total human optimization, including supplements, battle ropes, medicine balls, shit like that, man. | ||
| Use the code name ROGAN. Save yourself 10% off any and all supplements. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Mack Lethal's here. | ||
| Good afternoon. | ||
| Let's start fucking around. | ||
| Hit the music. | ||
| Let's rock this bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
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The Joe Rogan Experience. | |
| Train by day. | ||
| Joe Rogan Podcast by night. | ||
| All day. | ||
| My friend, welcome. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
|
unidentified
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Mac Lethal. | |
| It's an honor to be here. | ||
| I really appreciate it. | ||
| Rapper, author, all-around cool guy, video maker. | ||
| All sorts of shit, man. | ||
| You're a bad motherfucker, dude. | ||
| It's a pleasure. | ||
| Jiu-jitsu practitioner. | ||
| All of the above. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How long have you been doing that? | ||
| I'm going on my third year. | ||
| Are you enjoying it? | ||
| Loving it. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| Loving it. | ||
| What gym? | ||
| Give a shout-out to your gym. | ||
| Kansas City Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, which is under the Hanato Tavares Association and run by Black Belt Jason Bercher. | ||
| And then HD MMA, which is run by Jason High, who just won a fight recently. | ||
| Last week in the UFC. Jason, that's a talented dude. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Man, that Kansas City is really fucking, that's a cool town. | ||
|
unidentified
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It is. | |
| It's like one of the underrated cool towns. | ||
| Very much so. | ||
| In fact, the New York Post did an article on the top ten places in the world that are underrated, and it was number three. | ||
| What's number one? | ||
| Istanbul, Turkey? | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| Kansas City should be number one. | ||
| Yeah, I agree. | ||
| It's America. | ||
| By default, it should get 50 extra points. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because I'm rude. | ||
| Because I'm a rude American. | ||
| Amazing barbecue was there. | ||
| Friendly people. | ||
| A lot of fountains. | ||
| There's a lot of culture there. | ||
| Jazz. | ||
| The barbecue is huge. | ||
| Huge. | ||
| I watched an episode of Anthony Bourdain's show. | ||
| Wait, did he go to reservations? | ||
| Where did he go? | ||
| Do you remember? | ||
| I don't remember the name. | ||
| Was it in a gas station? | ||
| I think one of them was. | ||
| Yeah, that's Oklahoma. | ||
| It's one of the most popular. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's a famous one? | |
| Very famous. | ||
| Hey, Brian, can we kill this new TV? Because this is kind of freaking me out. | ||
| It's almost like too much to the left. | ||
| Too much distraction. | ||
| What is that again? | ||
| It's a 4K? It's a 4K TV. It's like four times the resolution of a 1080 HD TV. Yeah, they have a code for if you want to get a 50-inch, just type in JoeRogan at 4kspecial.com. | ||
| They get it for $999. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| If you haven't seen it, they just sent it to us, and we don't know how to use it yet, so it just plays this one 4K loop that they have, this amazing loop of high-definition moving images, but it's all like Japanese girls and nature, and it's like... | ||
| It's too much short attention span for my ADD brain, and I fucking shut down. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| That last episode that we did, the whole time I just found myself staring off into space. | ||
| Yeah, it was freaking me out. | ||
| I love the fact that 4K shit is becoming consumer stuff, though. | ||
| Because once the cameras get in the hands of the people, we're going to be able to make our own fucking feature-length films that look like the shit at the movie theaters. | ||
| There's a weird thing that happens with video as opposed to film that a lot of people don't like. | ||
| You see everything. | ||
| You see the background. | ||
| You see the foreground. | ||
| It's a weird kind of quality to watching it. | ||
| And people go, oh, it makes it look fake. | ||
| But honestly, film looks fake. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That looks like real life. | ||
| That video thing looks like real life, but we're just not used to that. | ||
| And 4K and that kind of shit is going to be super duper high definition detail and... | ||
| Galaxy Note 3 has 4K. They just announced it. | ||
| It comes out in like two weeks. | ||
| Yeah, we were just talking about that. | ||
| Weren't we talking about that on the podcast? | ||
| Yeah, but we're going to be able to just go to a show, film shit, and put it on that TV. Not only that, do it off of a phone. | ||
| Yeah, that's ridiculous. | ||
| Insane. | ||
| That's one problem with Apple, man. | ||
| They're fucking slacking. | ||
| They're so far behind. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When it comes to screen size, they're like, we're testing out new screen sizes. | ||
| What is it, 2009, you fuckheads? | ||
| Are you crazy? | ||
| Yeah, they just jumped on that. | ||
| They should have jumped on all this. | ||
| You guys fucked up. | ||
| 4K, all this. | ||
| Allowing Samsung and companies like this to come out with this kind of mind-blowing shit, way in advance, the style. | ||
| Actually, they had a fucking big thing that you would carry around with a stylist way back in the 90s. | ||
| Do you remember that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What was that called? | ||
| Like the Apple queef or something? | ||
| It was something really dumb, like tear or something. | ||
| I think it had, like, a name. | ||
| It wasn't, like, a Macintosh, but, like, something along those lines. | ||
| And it was, like, they had a stylus. | ||
|
unidentified
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Newton. | |
| Newton, yeah. | ||
| Couldn't you, like, draw on it, too? | ||
| Yeah, I think, yeah. | ||
| When I first came to Hollywood, I was walking around with this executive and He was showing me around Disney, and he had one of those bad boys. | ||
| And he was so happy with it. | ||
| And I was like, this is so awkward. | ||
| Like, you're carrying that around? | ||
| But it was pretty dope. | ||
| It was pretty Star Trek. | ||
| That's it right there. | ||
| And apparently it hooked up to a keyboard, not a stylus, or you could attach a keyboard to it somehow or another. | ||
| Wow, that looks badass. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Those are probably worth money today, right? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I think that goes for, like, thousands, thousands of dollars. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| For, like, just geeks. | ||
| We'll have them, like, framed up in their house. | ||
| Smelling them. | ||
| I would just smell it for an hour. | ||
| Do I have to, like, hide this logo? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| That stuff, that Coco Cafe, they sent it to us. | ||
| Oh, good. | ||
| They're badass. | ||
| The C2O and Coconut Cafe, those guys. | ||
| Cocoa Cafe. | ||
| Cocoa Cafe is dope because it's got a little bit of... | ||
| Notice there's a rapper here I've started to use. | ||
| What are you like? | ||
| You're like Quentin Tarantino and black people. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Have you ever seen some of that? | ||
| What? | ||
| Quentin Tarantino talking to black people? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| What, is it a YouTube thing? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Quentin Tarantino, who is my favorite director. | ||
| Mine too. | ||
| He's my favorite artist. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I mean, bottom line, artist. | ||
| I'm not shitting on him in any way, shape, or form. | ||
| But he's obviously a crazy person. | ||
| And that's okay. | ||
| Most of my best friends are crazy. | ||
| But his crazy manifests itself in the fact that he's some sort of a strange chameleon. | ||
| Like, I heard him on the Howard Stern show, and he almost sounded like he was gay. | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| He was, like, effeminate. | ||
| And this is not saying that Howard's gay. | ||
| I never would insult Howard Stern, ever. | ||
| But... | ||
| He sounded like almost effeminate, and then you hear him on the Jamie Foxx show, and all of a sudden he was black. | ||
| And I was like, this is really weird, because he's hanging out with Jamie Foxx, doing radio with Jamie Foxx, and he's talking so black. | ||
| I mean, so ridiculous. | ||
| Well, this is, I'm going to show you an example. | ||
| Oh, it's coming. | ||
| Now, it's really uncomfortable. | ||
| We're gonna have to get, like, something we can show the contrast. | ||
|
unidentified
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So he's hanging out with these black people on a BET show. | |
| What is the most famous line? | ||
|
unidentified
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Your favorite line from pop fiction? | |
| I think probably the most famous line is, I'm gonna get medieval on your ass. | ||
| Bing Rames says it. | ||
| It gets way crazier. | ||
|
unidentified
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Pleasing your fans or pleasing the critics for you? | |
| Interesting question, actually. | ||
| He almost fucked it up. | ||
|
unidentified
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I want to please my fans and I want to please the critics that are my fans. | |
| The critics hate my fans. | ||
| I don't give a damn. | ||
| I mean, he's making shit rhyme. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's amazing. | |
| It's insanity. | ||
| And if you see him do other interviews where he talks to regular media people, like on CNN or Fox News, none of this ever comes out. | ||
| Well, he almost broke character at first. | ||
| He was kind of getting into his gay voice, and then he went, uh, uh, uh, and it dropped a little deeper. | ||
| Well, I think a guy who's that good at making movies, he's that good at capturing human drama, he must be just like a sponge. | ||
| He just sits in the mirror and just goes through a Rolodex of characters, probably. | ||
| Could be! | ||
| But I bet a guy like that, it's hard for him to differentiate between who he is and who he's talking to. | ||
| Didn't he grow up in Inglewood, right? | ||
|
unidentified
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Did he really? | |
| Yeah, he grew up in the hood, to my knowledge. | ||
| And his whole thing was when he was younger, there was a movie theater which he now owns, and I believe it's in Inglewood, like a rundown part of Inglewood, and all he did His mom would just send him to the theater and all he did was watch blaxploitation films. | ||
| When he was like six years old. | ||
| Over and over. | ||
| So they just played kung fu movies and blaxploitation films at this theater. | ||
| And that's all he did. | ||
| And that's why he has co-opted that kind of style. | ||
| It's very fascinating how he kind of regurgitates it into his films. | ||
| But he relates. | ||
| He, on a very deep level, relates to black people, I believe. | ||
| I believe it. | ||
| I believe it. | ||
| His middle name is Jerome. | ||
| I can't pretend I'm not criticizing him. | ||
| I was obviously goofing on him. | ||
| But I completely understand that it's probably the very particular type of weirdness that you get by being so... | ||
| So in tune to other people's behavior. | ||
| It's almost like he can't differentiate between himself and who he's talking to. | ||
| If he's talking to someone, he becomes like them. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It might even be a mechanism for him to process emotions or something. | ||
| If that makes sense. | ||
| Maybe there was a certain character in some of these old blaxploitation films that when he would talk a certain way, he felt like he could convey what he was feeling. | ||
| So he would adopt that in order to do that himself. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's almost like when he's talking to Howard Stern, he was being very submissive. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Submissive to the king. | ||
| And then he was talking to Jamie Foxx. | ||
| He's, let him know, man. | ||
| Let him know, dog. | ||
| I'm one of the brothers, boy. | ||
| So, you know, whatever it is, it makes him that guy. | ||
| It also makes him do that. | ||
| I'm really concerned about him quitting, though. | ||
|
unidentified
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Really? | |
| Well, he recently stated that... | ||
| The way that they display films in movie theaters now is quote unquote television in public because they don't show film anymore. | ||
| It's just all digital. | ||
| And he says he did not sign up to do this and he's considering fucking quitting. | ||
| Just walking on the whole thing. | ||
| Which would be terrible. | ||
| That would be a devastating blow to all of us, and I don't even think people grasp that. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| So the medium is very important to him, not just... | ||
| He still films in film. | ||
| I mean, he uses tons of film, refuses to switch over, refuses to adapt. | ||
| That's how he came up, and they let him do it because they have to, because people see his movies still. | ||
| I would wonder what his reasoning is. | ||
| Film is a lot cheaper. | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| I thought it was more expensive. | ||
| It was, but now digital's cheaper. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, film's more cheaper because no one's using it, so it's cheaper to... | ||
| But isn't it still very expensive to digitize all the film and go through that arduous process of getting all the footage? | ||
|
unidentified
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It must be. | |
| Yeah, you would think so, right? | ||
| Yeah, it seems like it has to be. | ||
| I don't know, we had Davey on. | ||
| He used to be on that show that I did, and they did something with... | ||
|
unidentified
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Bonezone? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And he did something with Vice. | ||
| He did a short film that was in Sundance. | ||
| And they said that they used film because it was cheaper to film on nowadays than using a really high-end digital camera. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| Yeah, like we were saying, it definitely looks different. | ||
| If you film, you could make a cool film with a really good actress, but do it on like... | ||
| One of those regular VHS cameras. | ||
| Oh yeah, fuck yeah. | ||
| Even if you had good angles, it would look too weird. | ||
| It would look too Mexican soap opera-y. | ||
| It's a weird thing that's very difficult to describe when you watch a Mexican soap opera. | ||
| I don't watch many of those, but I will say that you want that kind of glossy... | ||
| Film look. | ||
| It just, it conveys a different message. | ||
| I don't know, like, those consumer camcorders, they're just, you know, everybody had one when they were a kid, and they tried to make fucking short films, like me and my friends did, and they just looked like shit. | ||
| You could never quite capture the life that you wanted to. | ||
| It's also a weird thing that it's kind of been established, that visual quality, the visual quality of film, it's like what we go to expect when we sit in the movie theater. | ||
| We want to see a film. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I'm getting into watching a lot of older movies lately. | ||
| I watched the Steve McQueen movie, Le Mans, the other day. | ||
| I've never seen Le Mans. | ||
| Oh man, it's really interesting because it's almost like a snapshot of the time. | ||
| It's not just a film. | ||
| It's almost like it's a film that shows you how people lived back then, like how they walked around and acted because a lot of the movie, like the first 10 minutes of the movie has no dialogue. | ||
| At least 10 minutes. | ||
| What's the setup of the movie? | ||
| Well, it's about race car drivers. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Steve McQueen's a race car driver and there's another dude. | ||
| Yeah, I don't want to say that. | ||
| I can't commit to saying I've seen it, but it sounds more familiar now. | ||
| I couldn't finish it. | ||
| I watched it for a little while. | ||
| Yeah, a lot of old films are hard to fucking finish, man. | ||
| I give up on them. | ||
| Like, I try to always be cool and be like, oh, I'm going to watch, you know, this fucking old 1972 French movie and then I pop it in and it's just, dude, five minutes in, asleep. | ||
| I mean, there's something to be said about modern cinema. | ||
| It's a little better, you know? | ||
| Yeah, there's some interesting shit that was done. | ||
| Like, I remember enjoying Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, which is basically, I think, all takes place in one house. | ||
| You know, it's just a conversation between a bunch of people. | ||
| And... | ||
| That's like some old shit. | ||
| The Hustler. | ||
| I'll still watch The Hustler. | ||
| Love The Hustler. | ||
| I'll still watch that. | ||
| That's a good one, though, because I like billiards as well, and watching that all take place. | ||
| How many hours do they play on the first confrontation? | ||
| Like three days or something like that? | ||
| Almost two days. | ||
| There's something epic about it. | ||
| But that's a good one. | ||
| And a lot of those Paul Newman films are exceptions. | ||
| Like HUD, that's another one I like. | ||
| Cool Hand Luke, that's another one. | ||
| Paul Newman was a bad motherfucker. | ||
| Very bad motherfucker. | ||
| He barely made any lemons. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, think about the shitty movies that Paul Newman made. | ||
| I really can't come up with one. | ||
| You know, I can't come up with... | ||
| I'm not familiar enough with his entire catalog. | ||
| I remember Stallone did that comedy movie with his mother. | ||
| Oh, it was... | ||
| Throw Mama from the Train? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Was that it? | ||
|
unidentified
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No, no, no. | |
| That was another one. | ||
|
unidentified
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No, no, no, no. | |
| This was... | ||
| What was it called? | ||
| This is gonna drive me fucking nuts. | ||
| Oh... | ||
| And wasn't it the same woman that was in Golden Girls that played the old woman, but she had a brown hair? | ||
| Oh, this is gonna drive me nuts. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| What are you, an old lady trivia person? | ||
| How do you know that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It seems like I remember. | ||
| Okay, well, let's just look up Stallone. | ||
| Stallone. | ||
| Was it like Oscar? | ||
| Oscar. | ||
| It was. | ||
| It was Oscar. | ||
| Oscar was one. | ||
| That's the one that I'm thinking of. | ||
| Yeah, well, he definitely had one called Oscar. | ||
| That's not the one I was thinking. | ||
| You were thinking of the Throw Mama from the Train one, but it wasn't Throw Mama from the Train, because Throw Mama from the Train was that old gross lady from Goonies or something like that. | ||
| Stop or My Mom Will Shoot. | ||
| Stop or My Mom Will Shoot. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So he did two comedies in a row. | ||
| He did Oscar, and then he did Stop or My Mom Will Shoot. | ||
| That's how retarded people were in the 90s. | ||
| They're like, you know what? | ||
| Forget all these great comedians we have. | ||
| We need to get Stallone up there. | ||
| They just kept giving them money. | ||
| My old lady trivia. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| It was the old lady Estelle Getty from Golden Girls with brown hair. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| And look at him. | ||
| He's like, Ma, I can't believe what you're doing over there. | ||
| What are you doing, Ma, with that gun? | ||
|
unidentified
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I can't even leave you alone for a second. | |
| Look at the look on his face, man. | ||
| Oh, my! | ||
| I can't believe this! | ||
| Look how little my gun is! | ||
| Look how big yours is! | ||
| Has it been confirmed or completely confirmed that he actually started out doing porn? | ||
| Because that's a rumor that I've always seen. | ||
| Oh, yeah, no, he did a movie. | ||
| He did a softcore movie. | ||
| Oh, so it was softcore. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| So he wasn't laying pipe on film. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| It might have been. | ||
| It might have been laying pipe, but I'm pretty sure they didn't show it if he was. | ||
| I think it was like an angle thing. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And they wanted to sell it to him for a million dollars. | ||
|
unidentified
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He was like, I wouldn't give you ten cents to that piece of shit. | |
| Ew, my mother's got a gun! | ||
| She'll fucking shoot you! | ||
| He's like 5'2". | ||
| No, he's not. | ||
| He's not? | ||
| No, everybody says that. | ||
| People always say that about Tom Cruise. | ||
| I met Stallone. | ||
| Maybe he had some shit in his shoes, but I'm 5'8", and he was taller than me. | ||
| He was taller than me. | ||
| I thought he had to stand on a platform in Rocky. | ||
| That's the other rumor. | ||
|
unidentified
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I don't know. | |
| Is that when he fought Apollo Creed, they had him stand on a platform because he wasn't tall enough. | ||
| No, I don't think Carl Weathers is very tall. | ||
| Really? | ||
| No, they couldn't have had him stand on a platform because then you would see his feet. | ||
| Because he was in a cage. | ||
| But as far as... | ||
| I mean, a ring, rather. | ||
| To my knowledge, a lot of those shots are from the waist up because... | ||
| Well, Carl Weathers is 6'2". | ||
| He's listed that he's 6'2". | ||
| And Stallone was, if I had to guess, I would say 5'11", 5'10". | ||
| But dudes wear lifts in their shoes. | ||
| You never know. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Isn't there a website called How Tall is Stallone? | ||
| Or is that... | ||
| How tall is Stallone? | ||
| What a website. | ||
| How many hits do they get a day? | ||
| There's like a how tall is Arnold, like an Arnold Schwarzenegger doc. | ||
| One of them, either Stallone, Tom Cruise, or Arnold Schwarzenegger has a website dedicated to finding out exactly how tall they are. | ||
| It's probably Tom Cruise. | ||
| Because Tom Cruise, when he did that movie with Brad Pitt, did have like a setup where he was like on an elevated floor. | ||
| Whereas they would walk their path, he would be height to height with Brad Pitt. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, he played, and I don't think that was necessary, but in his mind, the character had to be commensurate with Brad Pitt's character. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, Brad Pitt's character was tall. | ||
| Interview with the vampire? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Which was, you know, I thought, like, the best role he ever played. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, that's a good one. | |
| I think he was fucking amazing in that. | ||
| Tom Cruise? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But Tom Cruise, he fucking nailed it. | ||
| I mean, he's a great actor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He might do a lot of cheese movies, but the motherfucker can act. | ||
| He's got some good ones, man. | ||
| No, he's got some good ones. | ||
| I really liked Eyes Wide Shut. | ||
| I'm one of the few fans of that movie. | ||
| These are ten pictures of Tom Cruise being tall, where they've had him on, so he appears taller. | ||
| I don't understand that. | ||
| So he appears tall? | ||
| Yeah, see, look, they have him appearing tall. | ||
| He's 5'7", she's actually 5'8", and he's still taller than her almost. | ||
| Yeah, but how do they know he's 5'7"? | ||
| And how do they know that he's not actually taller? | ||
| Yeah, but see... | ||
| I don't buy this. | ||
| I don't either. | ||
| I think this is bullshit. | ||
| I gotta be honest. | ||
| Dude, go back to the one with college humor. | ||
| Philip Seymour Hoffman is like 6'3". | ||
| Yeah, but he wasn't even in that one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, because he was in disguise. | |
| No, because it's Mission Impossible, he was in disguise. | ||
| The last one was a joke. | ||
| He went in disguise as Philip Seymour Hoffman? | ||
| Yeah, that was a mask that he ends up pulling off. | ||
| I've never seen any of the Mission Impossibles with Tom Cruise. | ||
| They're rough. | ||
| They're rough to watch. | ||
| When you see a guy like Philip C. Hoffmore in him, you're like, man, really? | ||
| They talked you into this shit? | ||
| He does too much of that shit, man, and he doesn't fucking have to. | ||
| Well, I bet he does. | ||
| He's got a mortgage. | ||
| You want to do those indie movies? | ||
| They want to put him in every movie at this point. | ||
| I mean, there's not a fucking movie where he doesn't have some sort of weird method actor-y role. | ||
| He's awesome. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| He played Truman Capote, and he's 6'2", and Truman Capote was like 5'5". | ||
| Was he really? | ||
| And he spent, as far as I know, he spent, I think, like a year and a half and never broke character. | ||
| In his real life, always talked like Truman Capote. | ||
| That's so gross. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's fucking awful. | |
| Those people need help. | ||
| That's like Daniel Day-Lewis sleeping outside when he made Last of the Mohicans. | ||
| He slept in a fucking tent. | ||
| I don't know if that helped his performance, but whatever. | ||
| Yeah, Daniel Day-Lewis was a boxer for a whole year. | ||
| For when he played that Irish, the IRA guy. | ||
| And he looked like rather good in that film. | ||
| He was really good. | ||
| I think he looked like he was the best as far as actors portraying boxers. | ||
| It was the most accurate. | ||
| Like non-boxers trying to cross over and like not Marky Mark or fucking Sylvester Stallone or anybody like that. | ||
| Yeah, they say that Marky Mark has some professional boxing experience, but there's a way that people throw punches when no one's ever punched them. | ||
| And there's a way that people throw punches when they've actually known how to box. | ||
| And they're totally different. | ||
| The way that people throw punches when they're not worried about being punched back, they have this open, wide, I'm fucking gonna kill you sort of a thing. | ||
| Whereas if you watch Daniel Day-Lewis, he threw punches like a boxer. | ||
| Like he's worried about getting punched back. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Looking for openings, his guard is tight. | ||
| I wonder if he did some intense sparring to get to that point. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, he did. | |
| Oh, he did. | ||
| He lived as a boxer for like a year. | ||
| Dude, he's fucking nuts. | ||
| Did he wake up at four in the morning and jog and drink eggs? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He did everything. | |
| He was an excellent... | ||
| I don't think anybody really drinks eggs anymore. | ||
| That's just another movie thing. | ||
| I think you could get really sick. | ||
| Yeah, you can get fucking salmonella from it. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Salmonella, I think. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of fucking weird shit in eating raw animal flesh. | ||
| Yeah, it's not a good idea. | ||
| Can you get trichinosis? | ||
| No, that's only from predators, right? | ||
| Or scavengers? | ||
| Is vegan cheese good for you? | ||
| I had a lot of vegan cheese the other day, and it did not digest right. | ||
| Like, it really fucked me up, man. | ||
| It depends on who's making it and what they're using to make it with. | ||
| I think a lot of them, when you have vegan cheese on things, they use that, what is it called? | ||
| Yeast, like a nutritional yeast, I think it's called. | ||
| But I heard that stuff's not very good for you. | ||
| Yeah, it came out like fireballs, like undigested fireballs of blobs. | ||
| It was like asteroids. | ||
| Well, the best cheese for you, apparently, the easiest to digest, is non-homogenized, non-pasteurized cheese that you get in Europe. | ||
| They have a completely different kind of cheese because they don't have to pasteurize and homogenize their milk. | ||
| So if you have cheese that's made with raw milk, it's got a lot of different enzymes and different qualities to it. | ||
| Apparently it tastes a lot better, too. | ||
| Yeah, everything over there. | ||
| How do we get in a fucking cheese conversation? | ||
| I don't know, we were talking about Daniel Day-Lewis. | ||
| Oh, he's drinking eggs. | ||
| Yeah, you can't. | ||
| Trichinosis, here's a weird one. | ||
| Trichinosis, 90% of all cases of trichinosis come from people eating bear meat. | ||
| I don't know, what is trichinosis? | ||
| I don't know what that is. | ||
| Trichinosis is what you always worry about getting from pork. | ||
| I've had trichinosis. | ||
| You have? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Well, they said it was traveler's diarrhea. | ||
| Is that the same thing? | ||
| Oh, I don't think so. | ||
| I was on my ass for like a week and a half. | ||
| It was fucking awful. | ||
| I ate a bratwurst and was... | ||
| I'm not like exaggerating. | ||
| Traveler's diarrhea. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See if it's trichinosis. | ||
| Because if it is, I've had it. | ||
| And it's fucking miserable. | ||
| Did you have to go on Pedialyte? | ||
| Actually, I got to the point where I checked myself into the hospital and they put me in an IV because I was so low on fluid. | ||
| Dude, no exaggeration. | ||
| I would go to the bathroom a hundred times a day. | ||
| I mean, it got to the point where I would just stay in there because my body was trying to push it out. | ||
| I've been there, but not for a week. | ||
| It was so fucking gnarly, man. | ||
| It was terrible. | ||
| Terrible. | ||
| I had to get like this very sensitive aloe vera toilet paper because I was just raw as hell. | ||
| Here's what it is. | ||
| TD or traveler's diarrhea. | ||
| You have TD. Oh. | ||
| Thank God you abbreviated it. | ||
| I would have been offended by the word diarrhea. | ||
| It's the most common illness affecting travelers. | ||
| Each year, between 20 to 50% of international travelers, an estimated 10 million persons, develop diarrhea. | ||
| The onset of TD usually occurs within the first week of travel, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| High-risk destinations are developing countries, Latin America, Africa, the Middle East, and Asia. | ||
| That's funny, the Middle East, they call it developing country. | ||
| Is this from water? | ||
| Or is this from the meat that they eat? | ||
| It doesn't really say here. | ||
| You still use toilet paper? | ||
| I just use wet wipes. | ||
| I don't use toilet paper to clear off the heat. | ||
| I hope you don't flush those wet wipes. | ||
| I do. | ||
| Well, you're an idiot. | ||
| Those are going to clog up your toilet. | ||
| I know, we've talked about this, but I've been doing it for like 10 years. | ||
| Seven years. | ||
| The other thing is I travel and tour a lot, so I can never think to get them. | ||
| I always forget them if I do. | ||
| I mean, I like them. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| You gotta throw them away and not flush them. | ||
| They feel much better. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, if you're in a hotel and you don't give a fuck and you wanna be an asshole, flush them. | ||
| But trust me, dude, they're gonna come back to haunt you. | ||
| Or whoever owns your house. | ||
| That's the real problem. | ||
| If you own your house, you're like, who cares? | ||
| That'll permanently damage the plumbing in your house, won't it? | ||
| No, not necessarily. | ||
| So you have a little trash can with all these stinky butt wipes next to your toilet? | ||
| It's like a little litter box for you? | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| It's a litter box for you. | ||
| Lord have mercy. | ||
| I have a bidet. | ||
| I clean my butt like a gentleman. | ||
| So I could probably put a garden hose in there. | ||
| I'm going to install one of those bidet toilets here. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I have one. | ||
| I just have to bring it in. | ||
| What causes traveler's diarrhea? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Infectious agents are the primary cause. | ||
| Bacterial entopathogens cause approximately 80% of the cases. | ||
| Most common causative agent isolated in countries surveyed has been, ooh, enterooxygenic aceracea coli. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| A type of coli. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuck those little assholes. | ||
| It's not fun. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| So how'd they get rid of it? | ||
| They threw some poison down the pipe? | ||
| Yeah, they gave me some medicine and it cleared it out. | ||
| Did it jack your intestinal flora for like a long time? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| When you... | ||
| Healthy people have a certain amount of like... | ||
| See this shit I drank? | ||
| Kombucha. | ||
| Have you ever had any of this? | ||
| No. | ||
| I've seen it. | ||
| It's a probiotic drink. | ||
| And it actually has live organisms that you're digesting. | ||
| And live organisms like... | ||
| Much in the same way that yogurt has acidophilus, which is a milk culture. | ||
| When you have live bacteria that you ingest or probiotics, it actually helps fight off diseases. | ||
| It can actually regulate your mood. | ||
| It makes your immune system far stronger. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They say that the acidophilus bacteria, the acidophilus flora, It actually fights off. | ||
| When you contact something with your hands, the acidophilus flora is an aggressive flora, and it's on your skin, and it actually will keep other things from infecting you as easily. | ||
| Do you think that's the next raw egg, though? | ||
| In 10 years, you're going to be like, yeah, I was drinking bacteria for a while. | ||
| No, because your body is filled with bacteria. | ||
| Your body needs bacteria for everything. | ||
| It needs bacteria for digestion. | ||
| You're an entire ecosystem of bacteria. | ||
| There's more E. coli living in your gut than there have ever been people, ever. | ||
| And you have to have that. | ||
| Not only do you have to have that, you have to have a series of different kinds of bacteria inside of you. | ||
| So when you take antibiotics, if you take antibiotics on a long scale, If you take some hardcore shit, they tell you you always take acidophilus when you're recovering from that. | ||
| They want you to take in healthy bacteria and try to repopulate your gut. | ||
| We have this isolated idea of the human body that it's just a one, but it's an ecosystem. | ||
| Like, your body relies on a bunch of different shit to stay alive in you. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| No, absolutely. | ||
| It's kind of weird. | ||
| Yeah, it's very weird. | ||
| But this stuff's big, this kombucha. | ||
| And that regulates the intestinal flora. | ||
| Well, it keeps you from getting sick, man. | ||
| It's incredible how well it works to keep me from getting sick. | ||
| I travel a lot, and I almost never get sick. | ||
| Yeah, so do I. I mean, I've found that just washing my hands and taking multivitamins keeps me from getting sick, too. | ||
| That's a big one. | ||
| Washing the hands is a big one. | ||
| The hands are the worst, man, because you shake so many people's hands, as I'm sure you do with your fans and stuff, and you don't want to be a dick. | ||
| And then the worst is if you, you know, rub your eye or your nose. | ||
| You're fucked. | ||
| Well, I also think it's good for your immune system to shake that many people's hands. | ||
| Because you get all that bacteria and it gives your immune system something to do. | ||
| I think your body gets used to being around other people. | ||
| They've shown that people who grow up in households where the parents are really obsessed with cleaning, those kids a lot of times develop allergies easier than kids who grow up in a house with two cats and two dogs. | ||
| As usual folks, I've done no testing on any of these theories that I'm throwing out there. | ||
| I've heard them and they make sense to me. | ||
| I think that it's true because there's a lot... | ||
| I'm not sure if you've ever heard this. | ||
| Do your own research. | ||
| There's a lot of third world countries that are below the equator that have a lot of people that are infected with hookworms and none of them have asthma or allergies. | ||
| And there was a guy that had this like debilitating asthma and He did a research on it and found that hookworms, if you're infected by hookworms, will prevent asthma. | ||
| And he went to Malawi and walked through a fucking latrine and tried to infect himself with hookworms, got infected, and it cured his asthma. | ||
| And then he tried to start a company selling fucking hookworms to people. | ||
| What? | ||
| This was on This American Life. | ||
| It's one of the craziest things I've ever heard. | ||
| That is hilarious. | ||
| And he got shut down. | ||
| He's not able to do it. | ||
| You can totally fucking Google this. | ||
| What is the negative aspects of having hookworm in your body? | ||
| I'm not really sure. | ||
| I mean, I don't know. | ||
| Most people in third world countries just have them. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, they're infected by them. | ||
| But what you're saying is true because allergies and asthma aren't present in a lot of those countries. | ||
| Like, you can't find asthma in certain parts of South America and Africa. | ||
| No, we went to Cameroon. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Cameroon. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's fascinating. | ||
| But it totally makes sense. | ||
| It really is a whole ecosystem you're carrying around in your shoes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And you need those antibodies and you need all that bacteria. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We've over-sterilized our country. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| We certainly have. | ||
| And, you know, people worried about their kids touching things. | ||
| You really need to touch things. | ||
| You know, you need to get your body out there. | ||
| I love that George Carlin bit where he talks about how he used to swim and shit, and that's why he never got sick. | ||
| Because they swim in... | ||
| The Hudson? | ||
| Yeah, the Hudson. | ||
| They swim in raw sewage and shit, so they never got sick. | ||
| Yeah, that's an amazing thing about New York. | ||
| If you go around New York and, like, especially if you're in a helicopter or anything where you get to look down and see the water or look over the bridge, it's dirty as fuck. | ||
| I mean, and no one is trying to fix it. | ||
| No one is saying, like, what we really need to do is make this water crystal clear so our children can swim in it. | ||
| They're like... | ||
| It's never going to happen. | ||
| Do kids still swim in it? | ||
| No! | ||
| It's fucking terrible for you. | ||
| I mean, I'm sure someone does. | ||
| Some crazy kids. | ||
| But it's really bad for you. | ||
| Apparently, there's parts of Brooklyn where more oil has spilled off of Brooklyn than the Exxon Valdez. | ||
| Let me pull that up. | ||
| Brooklyn, because it was an article that I was reading about yachters. | ||
| Toxic water. | ||
| I think it was a vice thing. | ||
| Sounds like something they would want to brag about, though. | ||
| I don't think it's a brag thing. | ||
| It was a... | ||
| I can't find it. | ||
| That hookworm picture looks disturbing. | ||
| This is a hookworm's face. | ||
| Yeah, they're evil as fuck. | ||
| They look like something from the movie Alien. | ||
| Okay, here it is. | ||
| His name was Jasper Lawrence. | ||
| And he infected himself with hookworms to treat severe allergies. | ||
| This is in the fucking news. | ||
| And it worked? | ||
| And it completely worked. | ||
| So he tried to start a company and the FDA shut him down. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| The FDA classified his kits as pharmaceuticals and told him he was under investigation. | ||
| He then fled the United States. | ||
| Apparently, though, people that purchased the hookworms that came from his body were having trouble administering them because they would try to inject them into their veins. | ||
| It was the only way to administer them. | ||
| What? | ||
| I swear to God. | ||
| That's so nasty. | ||
| Wait, did you just put it in your butthole? | ||
| We had this infectious disease expert on the Joe Rogan Questions Everything show, and he told me that people in, when you come to tropical countries, he said everybody has something. | ||
| Everybody's infected with something. | ||
| He was explaining all these different diseases that we're not exactly sure about, like when they talk about toxoplasma and different parasites and all these different things. | ||
| He's like, 100% of the people that live in these places are infected with something. | ||
| There's no way to avoid it. | ||
| It's fucking nuts. | ||
| Yeah, he's like, that's the reality of being a human being in a tropical climate. | ||
| And I was like, wow. | ||
| Like, you can't get away from something there. | ||
| You just exist with it. | ||
| Just because the climate is so conducive to incubating all the bacteria? | ||
| I wonder. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You know, I don't know. | ||
| I mean, I'm sure that's part of it. | ||
| I'm sure also it's got to be part of it, that some of this stuff is passed on through mother and son, or mother and daughter. | ||
| I would assume some of it, you know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know how that works. | ||
| Do they, I mean, do... | ||
| Do things like pathogens, do they get passed on to children? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| Yeah, I imagine so, but I have no idea. | ||
| Weird fucking jungle diseases and shit. | ||
| Terrifying, man. | ||
| Shit is nuts. | ||
| I'm scared of the fucking jungle. | ||
| Well, whenever you get hot, when you get hot and moist, what you get is competition. | ||
| The reason why the jungle is so fucking scary is because there's so much life. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And when you get to any place that has condensed life and just complete... | ||
| Isolation from human influence. | ||
| No one's going in there and building shopping malls and there's no roads everywhere and trees aren't getting... | ||
| They're cutting down trees to log, but what is forest is forest. | ||
| What is jungle is jungle. | ||
| There might be killing the jungle, but once you actually get into the jungle... | ||
| The amount of competition in that jungle is insane. | ||
| There's fucking ants killing everything. | ||
| They have ants that march an army so strong you can hear them walking. | ||
| They have all sorts of different army ants and poisonous ants. | ||
| Incredible amounts of toxic spiders, snakes, and of course there's jaguars. | ||
| It's just incredibly dense. | ||
| Jaguars are crazy, man. | ||
| Oh, it's crazy. | ||
| So what you're dealing with in the rainforest is incredibly dense life. | ||
| Like everything. | ||
| Insect life, reptile life, animal life, all of it coalescing together. | ||
| And you just have an immense amount of competition. | ||
| When you have an immense amount of competition, you're going to have diseases. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're going to have problems. | ||
| You're going to have, you know, the amount of moisture there, the heat, the carcasses are going to rot, and just, you know, all the things that feed off of carcasses, and the diseases, infectious, airborne, da-da-da-da-da-da, in the water, blah-blah-blah-blah. | ||
| Just, I mean, they have fucking, they have parasites that swim up your dick. | ||
| I've heard about that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They bite the shit out of you. | ||
| You have to cover the head of your cock when you piss because they're attracted to urine. | ||
| And they find when you're in the water, if you try to pee in the water, they fucking swim upstream. | ||
| They find your piss, swim up through it. | ||
| So they sense your piss and they go after you. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And they go up your pee hole. | ||
| What's the fish? | ||
| There's a fish that has human teeth. | ||
| Have you seen this? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And they'll bite your testicles off. | ||
| Of course they will. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You ever seen that shit? | ||
| They have human fucking teeth, man. | ||
| They look very human-like. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| There was a monkey in a zoo, was it in China, that ripped off some baby's balls? | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Why the balls? | ||
| Ripped off eight-month-old testicles from eating them. | ||
| Oh, why the balls, man? | ||
| Because he's a fucking cunty monkey. | ||
| It was just a piece that he could grab and yank off. | ||
| He probably has already yanked off people's balls. | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| Yes, that's real. | ||
| That's so strange. | ||
| If you can find one, there's one where it actually shows them. | ||
| Those teeth are better than some comics I know. | ||
| Look at the roof of its mouth. | ||
| It has multiple layers of teeth. | ||
| Oh, that's so freaky. | ||
| And I want to say that they have found these in lakes in Illinois. | ||
| Because these were native to Massachusetts. | ||
| What's the fish called? | ||
| It's a P. It begins with a P. That's so weird. | ||
| Look at that photo. | ||
| That's so fucking weird. | ||
| Worst blowjob ever. | ||
| Or best. | ||
| Or best, yeah. | ||
| No, why are you creeps? | ||
| What is it called, Brian? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want to say it's like a piku fish. | |
| Sheepshed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what it said. | ||
| Yeah, that's a sheepshed. | ||
| It's also called a convict fish. | ||
| I guess there's probably more than one fish that has human white teeth. | ||
| Oh, totally. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you see that volcano that they found in the middle of the Pacific? | ||
| Paku fish. | ||
| Paku, I think, is related to the piranha. | ||
| Is that different? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I think it's like a cousin of the piranha. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's completely different. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Sheep shed. | ||
| Because Paku is one of those fish that you can actually buy. | ||
| And I remember when I had piranhas, like... | ||
| Like, you couldn't get it. | ||
| It was very hard to get them in a store, but you could get a Paku in a store. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Um... | |
| The, um... | ||
| What was I going to say? | ||
| Oh, the fucking volcano. | ||
| Did you hear about that volcano they found in the middle of the Pacific? | ||
| No. | ||
| They just found it. | ||
| The largest volcano ever discovered on Earth, and they believe in the entire solar system. | ||
| It's just in the middle of the Pacific. | ||
| It's this enormous volcano that's as big as New Mexico, and it's in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. | ||
| Dude, that's fucking insane. | ||
| And they didn't even know it existed. | ||
| How the fuck did they not know? | ||
| We don't know much about the bottom of the ocean, apparently. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We still keep discovering shit about Earth. | ||
| I mean, it's kind of a testament to how big and crazy this place is. | ||
| But a lot of people think we've seen everything, and we have it all tracked, and we fucking don't. | ||
| Well, that's the argument for things like Bigfoot. | ||
| But this is some real shit. | ||
| Dude, Bigfoot is out there, whatever the hell that thing is. | ||
| That's actually probably an argument against Bigfoot, is that they can't find Bigfoot, but they can find this in the middle of the ocean. | ||
| Actually, that's a terrible argument, because this is so big. | ||
| It dwarfs the previous record holder. | ||
| Mauna Loa used to be the world's largest volcano. | ||
| But this one, Mauna Loa is actually 25% smaller than Olympus Mons on Mars, which is the biggest volcano in Earth's solar system. | ||
| So it's a little bit smaller. | ||
| It's one of the largest in the solar system, but the largest on Earth. | ||
| It's 400 miles wide. | ||
| And 2.5 miles tall. | ||
| It erupted for a few million years during the early Cretaceous period, about 144 million years ago, but has since been extinct. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That's nuts. | ||
| So it almost became another Hawaii, essentially. | ||
| But it's even bigger. | ||
| When did they find this? | ||
| Like a week ago? | ||
| Maybe they're just trying to grow a new Japan real quick. | ||
| This might not be a bad idea. | ||
| Using chemtrails. | ||
| Yeah, send some fucking harp signals down to the bottom of the ocean. | ||
| Try to crack that fucker to the top. | ||
| Are you scared at all about that shit, man? | ||
| I know this is supposed to be a conversation about rap in your book. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| We don't gotta talk about rap or my book. | ||
| Are you scared of Fukushima? | ||
| Dude, I... The harp thing? | ||
| Is that... | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Fukushima, man. | ||
| I don't know what Fukushima... | ||
| What is... | ||
| That's the nuclear disaster in Japan. | ||
| You're not aware of that? | ||
| Last podcast, Joe, I was freaked out about it because we talked about it so much, but then all the shit that people sent me on Twitter, now I'm just like, oh man, there's two sides of it. | ||
| I've been on tour. | ||
| You didn't hear about the Japanese nuclear meltdown? | ||
| How long ago was this? | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| How long ago was this? | ||
| People get so mad at you right now. | ||
| Yeah, fuck another American so obsessed with his own bullshit that doesn't understand one of the mass extinction events this world has ever known. | ||
| I know a lot about extinction events, just I don't know about this one. | ||
| Have you been watching Breaking Bad? | ||
| 2011. I didn't see the last one though. | ||
| 2011, the tsunami and earthquake off of Japan. | ||
| Sure, I know that. | ||
| Fukushima power plants went down. | ||
| And they didn't have a backup. | ||
| And if you know how, I didn't know how nuclear worked until this, but the way it works is you have to keep those things cool. | ||
| Nuclear power apparently is just a big fire that works and creates steam. | ||
| And the steam powers generators. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they pour water into it, and that's why they're always near the water. | ||
| The water hits the steam, or it hits the nuclear plant somehow or another, the fusion, the energy, heats up the water, and that powers the generators. | ||
| It's way more primitive than I thought it was. | ||
| I thought it was somehow or another extracting the energy from the nuclear power. | ||
| Put it into tubes or some shit. | ||
| I didn't know how it does. | ||
| Well, when they do that, they have to keep these rods cool. | ||
| They have to constantly keep them cool, this nuclear energy. | ||
| And when the power goes out, they're fucked. | ||
| They're really, really fucked. | ||
| They had backup for like eight hours. | ||
| When the tsunami hit them, it killed their generator and it killed their backup generator. | ||
| And so they couldn't cool it off. | ||
| And once you can't cool it off, it's done. | ||
| Like you never can cool it off again. | ||
| They don't know how to cool it off. | ||
| So essentially they have this place that remains hot for hundreds of thousands of years it's contaminated. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And so they don't know, and honestly a lot of it is theoretical, they don't even know where it is right now because it's melted through its containment hole. | ||
| So it's going further and further into the earth. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| The whole thing, it's madness. | ||
| Yes, I am scared about that. | ||
| That's fucking terrifying. | ||
| And it's leaking millions and millions of gallons of radioactive water into the ocean. | ||
| They've showed a measurable increase in the radioactivity in fish. | ||
| Right now they say it's within tolerable levels. | ||
| It's like 3% increase in radioactive isotopes. | ||
| But it's dangerous. | ||
| It's fucking dangerous. | ||
| I've been eating mad fish lately just because I feel like one day I won't be able to. | ||
| You should eat it. | ||
| Maybe get superpowers. | ||
| Let me know. | ||
| No, that is some scary shit. | ||
| I feel very inadequate as a human for not knowing about that. | ||
| Well, you shouldn't feel inadequate, but it's kind of shocking that no one's... | ||
| Well, you live in Kansas City. | ||
| No one's worried about fish. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're worried about catfish. | ||
| Catch catfish. | ||
| Fuck catfish. | ||
| I fucking hate catfish. | ||
| Why do you hate catfish? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Is it those shows where people reaching in and grabbing them with their hands? | ||
| Because when you grow up in Kansas City, everybody's always, let's go to the lake this weekend and we're going to go. | ||
| And that's what you do is you fucking go catfishing. | ||
| And they have fucking whiskers that they beat you with if you hold them. | ||
| And they're just, they're like pigs. | ||
| Well, they're trying to stay alive. | ||
| I understand that. | ||
| I'm just saying, I'm not a fan of them. | ||
| I'm not a fan of them. | ||
| Yeah, catfish are delicious. | ||
| And you can catch them with your hands. | ||
| Yeah, and then they beat you with their fucking whiskers. | ||
| Those shows where they reach their hand into the mouth and grab them and pull them out of the lake, that is the most ridiculous shit ever. | ||
| That's the best way to catch these fucking things. | ||
| Would chloroform work on catfish? | ||
| I don't think it would work underwater. | ||
| No, I mean, yeah. | ||
| The size of these fucking catfish that they pull out with their hands, too. | ||
| I mean, there's some... | ||
| I don't know if you've ever seen, like, the legend... | ||
| Because you like, you know, legendary animals. | ||
| There's, like, 400-pound catfish swimming through rivers and shit. | ||
| You ever seen some of these pictures of these, like, mega catfish? | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Yeah, there's giant ones. | ||
| Huge. | ||
| They caught one recently. | ||
| There was some world record one they caught in some other country. | ||
| But someone put a video up on YouTube, and it seriously looked like the guy was pulling in a hippo. | ||
| He caught it with a rod and reel. | ||
| Pull it up. | ||
| Pull up world record catfish caught, like the most recent one. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| It looks like it's eight, nine feet long. | ||
| And it looks like a hippo. | ||
| It literally looks like he's pulling in a hippopotamus. | ||
| It's enormous. | ||
| It's a catfish. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where was it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Kazakhstan or some shit. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| It's just a bunch of strange languages that I don't understand. | ||
| Man, fuck catfish. | ||
| That's something I do understand. | ||
| Yeah, look at this one. | ||
| That's probably Thailand. | ||
| Thailand has a lot of giant ones. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, but there's a video of a guy pulling one in on a Rod and Reel video of a guy pulling in the world record. | ||
| Oh, here it is. | ||
| It's just, these are just rivers, man. | ||
| Why do you have two videos playing at the same time? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You have volume playing. | ||
| We don't need to hear that music. | ||
| But it's really important. | ||
| Mood music, man. | ||
| You gotta really... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that rod pulling. | |
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Scoot ahead so you can actually see the fish. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do-do-do-do. | |
| Do-do-do-do. | ||
| It's way better hearing you do it. | ||
| This is not the fish. | ||
| That's not the one. | ||
| This is not the world record one. | ||
| But it's pretty goddamn big. | ||
| Look at the size of that fucking thing. | ||
| He's pulling in with his hands. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| That's not even close though. | ||
| Look, he conveniently rested on his dick. | ||
| Oh, I just happened to stick my dick in this catfish's mouth after conquering it. | ||
| Look at the size of that fucking thing. | ||
| Yeah, did they call that a Kentucky kiss or what's that called? | ||
| You know what's really fucked up? | ||
| That's not even the craziest animal that lives in freshwater. | ||
| Have you ever seen an alligator gar? | ||
| A what? | ||
| Alligator gar. | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, dude, pull that up. | ||
| There's videos of these people catching these things. | ||
| They apparently live in some places in the south, like Texas has lakes that have them, and these things are enormous. | ||
| They grow like nine feet long. | ||
| They look like dinosaurs. | ||
| They look like swimming dinosaurs. | ||
| Their teeth, they're like giant piranha. | ||
| Their teeth are filled. | ||
| With these crazy fucking sharp teeth. | ||
| And I think they eat them. | ||
| I think they eat them like on Swamp People. | ||
| I think they smoke them. | ||
| But it's a crazy looking dinosaur, evil, ancient fish. | ||
| You got it? | ||
| Look at this fucking thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is this somebody catching one? | |
| Oh, this is more romantical. | ||
| Yeah, what is with these fishermen with their fucking shitty music behind their fish videos? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh. | ||
| Wait till you see this thing. | ||
| Well, that's not even that big of one. | ||
| Kill that music, dude. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| Go to a... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god! | |
| Look at that thing! | ||
| That's how it cuts out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit! | |
| Show a good photo of one, because some of them, you'll see the teeth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh Jesus Christ! | |
| I mean, that's a Native American freshwater fish. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And it's probably been in this state for, you know, millions of years. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It looked like that. | ||
| That is terrifying. | ||
| Yeah, and they're huge. | ||
| I mean, these things get enormous. | ||
| What's the world record alligator car? | ||
| Let's find out how big they get. | ||
| Dude, that photo that you tweeted the other day with the mountain lion eating a deer on the side of the road. | ||
| Yeah, mountain lion eating a deer on the side of the road in Santa Monica. | ||
| Right in the Santa Monica Mountains. | ||
| Like, people were driving by and they passed it. | ||
| Like, what the fuck? | ||
| You ever seen the video of the Komodo dragon eating the water buffalo? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's, like, one of the best. | ||
| They measure from the alligator gar as the largest freshwater fish found in North America. | ||
| It measures between 8 and 10 feet fucking long. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| If you pull up a photo that says, uh, world record alligator gar, do that on, uh, on, um, on Google image search. | ||
| Okay, Bing. | ||
| You contrarian. | ||
| I'm using Bing with my Windows phone. | ||
| I give zero fucks. | ||
| Look at this thing. | ||
| This is one of the world record ones. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| That's an alligator, brother. | ||
| That's the world record alligator. | ||
| Look at the picture that he just pulled up. | ||
| Look at that, though. | ||
| This just got captured last week. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the world record alligator they just captured in Mississippi. | ||
| That was in Mississippi? | ||
| Yeah, not even world record. | ||
| I believe it was just Mississippi record, right? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| But what's crazy is the state record, they broke twice in a day. | ||
| One person got one that was over 700, and someone else got one that was even larger than that. | ||
| It was over 700 pounds. | ||
| So two of them in a day that broke the... | ||
| Previous state record. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| When I was a kid, I used to live in Florida. | ||
| I lived in a place called Gainesville, and Gainesville has a lake. | ||
| Yeah, I've played a show in Gainesville. | ||
| There's a good college there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's also where I think Ted Bundy did all his killing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There was a lake called Lake Alice, and it was filled with alligators. | ||
| Alligators there all the time. | ||
| We used to feed them. | ||
| We used to throw marshmallows in, and they would eat the marshmallows. | ||
| And occasionally, people's dogs, like someone would fuck up, and they'd be walking their dog too close to the To the water. | ||
| They just jump out, grab them, snap them up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I thought you threw marshmallows and then occasionally somebody stole a hook. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Rude. | ||
| No. | ||
| But they were scarce. | ||
| You weren't allowed to hunt them. | ||
| They were a protected species. | ||
| That's why they were telling us not to feed them marshmallows at one point in time. | ||
| They put up a sign. | ||
| Because apparently the alligators had a hard time digesting the marshmallow. | ||
| Like they were concerned with the alligators, their population. | ||
| But now, now they're everywhere. | ||
| They're just infested. | ||
| They have these people on those swamp shows. | ||
| You ever watch those swamp shows on the History Channel? | ||
| They have like a 500 tag limit. | ||
| So they can kill 500 of them in a fucking season. | ||
| So they're just driving around the swamp, shooting rifles into the water, setting traps. | ||
| Yeah, that's almost two a day. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Well, I think, I don't know how long their season lasts. | ||
| Oh yeah, that's way more than two a day, depending on how long the season lasts. | ||
| I think they have a season. | ||
| But like, you know, some animals, when they get too crazy, they stop the season thing, and they just say, you can do whatever the fuck you want. | ||
| Like wild pigs in Texas. | ||
| There was a thing that they put out today, it was on my Twitter... | ||
| That they hired a guy to start trapping them in the city of Dallas. | ||
| That they have to start trapping wild hogs in the city of Dallas. | ||
| Because they're like a nuisance? | ||
| Because they're making their way into the city. | ||
| Wild pigs in Texas are so bad right now. | ||
| There's more than 11 million wild pigs in Texas alone right now, apparently. | ||
| Have you ever been to South Africa? | ||
| No. | ||
| Okay, so we did a tour in South Africa, and we were driving from Cape Town to Johannesburg, or driving, no, driving around Johannesburg, and there is a guy, pretty much every 20 miles or so, that is employed by the state, that walks around with a whip, and he whips baboons off the street because they fuck with people's cars. | ||
| Baboons are little fucking thugs, man. | ||
| They'll break into your car and take all your CDs and break them and piss all over your car and fuck your shit up and just leave it there. | ||
| They do it on purpose. | ||
| So they pay a guy to walk around and whip baboons to keep them out of people's cars. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God damn. | |
| Dude, they're goons. | ||
| You know what's really weird about baboons? | ||
| They're kind of like part dog. | ||
| They're a primate, but they look kind of dog-like. | ||
| When they open up their mouth and they bare their teeth or they're barking or something like that, they have a dog face. | ||
| Pull up a picture of some baboons. | ||
| Baboons' teeth. | ||
| They're freaky looking fucking animals. | ||
| They're crazy, man. | ||
| And they're everywhere. | ||
| That's not a baboon. | ||
| Pull up a picture of a baboon. | ||
| They have a real problem with them breaking into people's hotel rooms, too. | ||
| They've broken into... | ||
| They figured out how to open sliding glass doors and shit. | ||
| If you leave them open, they'll break into your hotel room and just ransack your shit. | ||
| Yeah, they fuck your shit up. | ||
| Yeah, look at it. | ||
| Oh, he's sticking his ass up against that kid's face. | ||
| Yeah, they're rude. | ||
| They're smarter than people. | ||
| Get some good ones that show baboon's teeth. | ||
| Get something that shows baboon's teeth. | ||
| They're freaky looking animals, man. | ||
| They're almost like a dog. | ||
| Monkey hybrid. | ||
| They're everywhere in South Africa. | ||
| They're walking down the sidewalk. | ||
| So if you're out for a jog or something, you might encounter a baboon. | ||
| God damn. | ||
| So what do they do about them? | ||
| They try to have somebody come around and regulate them, but I don't think that they're completely successful. | ||
| So, I don't know. | ||
| I think you can scream at one or something and it'll run away from you. | ||
| Maybe not though, right? | ||
| Yeah, maybe not. | ||
| Some mayor in India recently got killed. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| Some mayor got killed by a pack of monkeys, a mayor of a town in India. | ||
| Dude, monkeys are fucking ruthless. | ||
| Yeah, put up a couple more of those pictures. | ||
| It's so weird that that's a real animal, man. | ||
| Look at their fucking teeth. | ||
| But it's like very, almost dog-like, you know? | ||
| It's primate-like, but it's long and dog-like. | ||
| Like wolf-like or something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I'm so glad we don't have shit like that here. | ||
| I mean, we have our... | ||
| We have bears. | ||
| Bears are scarier than that. | ||
| Bears are pretty bad. | ||
| Did you hear about that event last week, or it was two weeks ago, where seven people got bitten by a bear? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, what the fuck? | ||
| In one day. | ||
| Yeah, bears are pretty scary. | ||
| And they're huge, too. | ||
| And fucking fast. | ||
| So you can't outrun them. | ||
| Oh, look at that. | ||
| That's real, too. | ||
| They pull their lips back. | ||
| Do they do that with their hands, or does it just pull back like that? | ||
| No, it just does it. | ||
| Jesus, man. | ||
| It does it when they wide open their mouths. | ||
| Scariest vagina ever. | ||
| What a creepy looking animal, man. | ||
| Yeah, there was a couple of days, a couple day period, where seven people were mauled by bears in America. | ||
| Yeah, it's getting weird, man. | ||
| It's getting really weird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, things are kind of nuts, man. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm just scared of shit like that. | ||
| And I guess in Kansas City, we don't really have to worry about stuff like that, which is nice. | ||
| We don't have bears or animators. | ||
| You plan on staying there? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I'm probably going to have to move. | ||
| Probably have to move out here because of some of the stuff that's going on. | ||
| My wife definitely wants to move out here. | ||
| Because of showbiz type stuff? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Your wife wants to get the fuck out of Kansas City? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She doesn't like it. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| She was getting ready to move to England, and I kind of interrupted her plans and married her and put a baby in her. | ||
| So now that stuff is going so well, she wants to go to either of the coasts, but just not stay in Kansas City, which... | ||
| It's something to consider because it's getting to the point where it's hard to do shit from there. | ||
| Dude, you gotta live in California. | ||
| You got weather, weed, women. | ||
| Women, weather, weed, In-N-Out Burger. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| In-N-Out Burger is pretty nice. | ||
| Even if you're gluten-free, you can get the protein style. | ||
| Will they give it to you on two big slabs of lettuce? | ||
| Yeah, she's gluten-free. | ||
| She'd love that. | ||
| It'll stink up your car, though, for days and days. | ||
| That smell of In-N-Out, it's impossible to get out of your car. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's like even if you clean your car up, you're like, where is it? | ||
| How is it in here? | ||
| I ate in the box. | ||
| When I cleaned the box, I picked the box up, I threw it in the garbage, I get in my car, it still smells like In-N-Out. | ||
| Do you like living out here? | ||
| Because you've lived quite a few places, right? | ||
| You've bounced around. | ||
| There's too many people. | ||
| That's an issue. | ||
| But the good thing about too many people is you get a lot of cool people. | ||
| Because there's so many fucking people. | ||
| And it's so... | ||
| There's a lot of creative people that live here. | ||
| So you can cultivate... | ||
| We've got a great group of friends now. | ||
| It's like all of our friends are comics and people that we know that are creative that live inside of L.A. | ||
| And so in that sense, it's a great place to live. | ||
| You can find a lot of interesting, cool people here. | ||
| But the numbers are so big. | ||
| When you're dealing with something like they think there's 20 million people in the greater Los Angeles area. | ||
| When you're dealing with numbers that are that big, I think you sort of almost like you don't appreciate people as much. | ||
| I think they're overwhelming to you. | ||
| Whereas if you go to a small town, what I like about driving in a place like Boulder or something like that is people wave to you. | ||
| If you're passing on a road... | ||
| It's very hospitable in places like that. | ||
| That's the same with Kansas City. | ||
| We're very friendly to each other. | ||
| There's less pressure. | ||
| There's a real pressure that comes from volume of people. | ||
| And I feel it on the highway, and I think it's responsible for road rage. | ||
| You're not seeing road rage in empty roads. | ||
| A lot of it is during traffic. | ||
| There's road rage in empty roads, too. | ||
| Yeah, well, that's just out. | ||
| That was probably a bad example. | ||
| But my point being that when there's less people that are clogging up the world, you're not constantly being slowed down everywhere you go by a high volume of people, I think you appreciate them more. | ||
| Do you feel that there's an overabundance of Maybe, kind of like what we were talking about before the show, not to say any names, but creative people that are getting in the way of maybe people that have a genuine voice. | ||
| Oh, people that have figured out a way to exist in the system even though they suck? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And maybe are preventing other people that would otherwise have opportunities. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You know, we were talking about a specific example of a comedian that we know that sucks, that somehow or another has carved out some sort of a small life in Hollywood while being incredibly bad. | ||
| I think those are rare. | ||
| It's rare. | ||
| I think most people that actually get through and, you know... | ||
| You might not enjoy them. | ||
| It might not be your style. | ||
| There's a lot of music that's not my style, but other people fucking love it. | ||
| There's that weird pretentious thing where you go, no, it fucking sucks, period. | ||
| It might suck to you, but to someone, the Smiths are the greatest band ever. | ||
| Yeah, a lot of people think that. | ||
| Yeah, a lot of people think that. | ||
| I don't like them. | ||
| No, I don't either. | ||
| It's not my style. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Never. | |
| But I appreciate that they obviously are great to those people. | ||
| That's how it is. | ||
| But then there's also other folks that get through as writers, and that's where it gets really weird. | ||
| See, that's one of the reasons I would come here, is to parlay what I'm doing into writing. | ||
| Well, you're a funny writer, dude. | ||
| You wouldn't have to worry about what we're describing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| What we're describing is people that somehow or another get jobs as writers that aren't funny at all. | ||
| And I've seen it, man. | ||
| I've seen it on large scale. | ||
| And you know what happens a lot of times? | ||
| It gets really weird. | ||
| Like, sitcom writers, they have teams. | ||
| And so it'll be one guy who's the really funny guy, and the other guy's the guy who bounces shit off, who doesn't talk that much. | ||
| But they work as a team. | ||
| Because the one guy who's the really funny, creative guy is kind of dysfunctional and can't really do it on himself, can't type or something like that. | ||
| And so they have these two men teams and they're monsters. | ||
| And it happens a lot. | ||
| We have these two men teams, these guys start out together, but there's one guy who's really talented. | ||
| I did this pilot way back in the day. | ||
| I had a development deal to do a show. | ||
| And there was these two guys that worked on a very successful sitcom. | ||
| And this guy branched off on his own, separated from his partner, and got this fucking deal. | ||
| And it was a giant deal. | ||
| It was millions of dollars. | ||
| I mean, he was the guy. | ||
| And so the people that gave me this development deal wanted me to meet with him. | ||
| So I go into Homeboy's office. | ||
| First of all, he's wearing bowling shoes. | ||
| Which is a bad sign. | ||
| Because those bitches are not comfortable. | ||
| So it's one thing if you're wearing, you know, you like wearing high top Converse and you're 90 years old, you're eccentric. | ||
| But at least they're comfortable to wear. | ||
| If you're wearing bowling shoes, I assume you're trying to be wacky. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And I get grossed out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know? | ||
| So I was thinking, this guy, this is a weird sign. | ||
| And then he's just not funny. | ||
| Like, in talking to him, he doesn't seem particularly interesting. | ||
| He doesn't seem particularly sharp. | ||
| There's nothing... | ||
| I mean, maybe he pours it all out in his writing. | ||
| Maybe he's this bland guy. | ||
| And when he writes, you're like, holy shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So they give me the script after this guy's done with it, and it is one of the worst pieces of shit I've ever read in my life. | ||
| And the guy eventually faded away and disappeared. | ||
| But for a long time, he was considered to be one of the best writers in Hollywood because he was a part of a team on a successful show. | ||
| And then as he branched out, this gigantic development deal, he got this huge push in the beginning, and then he disappeared. | ||
| Yeah, I've heard that people in Hollywood kind of fail upwards. | ||
| They are a part of things and they just manage to make it to a certain point without ever really doing anything. | ||
| That's kind of a cliche, you know? | ||
| Is that more of a cliche? | ||
| I think it's happened before, but it's a nepotism thing. | ||
| People that are really good at networking in show business, like as producers or as executives maybe more so than anything else. | ||
| But as far as people that are producing, like writers or something like that, not really. | ||
| See, my biggest fear is, and I can't talk about the network or anything, but this is obviously getting optioned into something, and one of my biggest fears is being afflicted with shitty writers. | ||
| Oh, it'll happen. | ||
| Because my biggest, and I don't understand still, I cannot possibly grasp the logic why they won't let me write it, because... | ||
| It's my shit. | ||
| Who won't let you write it? | ||
| The people you're doing the deal with? | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| They're just going, no, we'll find you a writer. | ||
| Which is fine, because maybe this particular person, whoever they decide to choose, or people, will actually produce a teleplay that's amazing and take what I've done. | ||
| Teleplay? | ||
| What year is this? | ||
| Teleplay. | ||
| It's on a fixing machine. | ||
| These are words that I've been hearing of late. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Teleplay. | |
| But I'm also worried that then it's gonna come back and it's gonna be a piece of shit and it's gonna take all the heart and soul that I put into it and just make it sterile. | ||
| It's very possible. | ||
| It is. | ||
| I haven't had good luck in trying to turn things into TV shows. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| It's also hard when you're dealing with... | ||
| It's a huge process when you're dealing with more than one person. | ||
| Because you're dealing with more than one vision. | ||
| I mean, I found that even on the sci-fi show that I did, there was people that were saying, we should do it like this, or we should do it like that. | ||
| And there's all these different points of view, and a lot of times that fucks things up. | ||
| Louis C.K. has the best deal ever. | ||
| Dude, the best deal. | ||
| Because his deal is basically, they said, we're not going to give you any money, but you can do whatever the fuck you want and we'll air it. | ||
| Well, they give him money, but it was such a smart thing on their part to trust. | ||
| Like, here you get a guy who's a comedic genius, and you say, well, what do you do about this? | ||
| Well, you trust him. | ||
| You trust him to do something funny, and you give him money. | ||
| I would love that. | ||
| Well, that's what you need. | ||
| I think, honestly, that's what everybody gets on the internet. | ||
| I mean, it really is what it is. | ||
| The things that have become successful from the internet, like your videos, are all things that you've created on your own and they've found their audience. | ||
| And that's really what someone needs to understand. | ||
| Like, you got to be famous from the internet. | ||
| You got your, I found out about you, from your work. | ||
| From your mind, then pushed out to the universe. | ||
| And you put it together, you filmed it, like this pancake wrap thing that everybody knows about. | ||
| Well here, this is a pretty big one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God, that was fast. | |
| God, that was fast. | ||
| Are you getting drunk while you're making pancakes? | ||
| This took me... | ||
| Because I probably did over 200 takes because there's a particular part where I kept fucking the words up. | ||
| It's coming up in a second. | ||
| So it took me two nights. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right here. | |
| To do that... | ||
| It just got to the point where I had to just start hammering screwdrivers like half and half orange juice and vodka because I kept fucking that part up. | ||
| That makes it better? | ||
| Screwdrivers makes it better? | ||
| No, it made it worse. | ||
| That was the problem. | ||
| I was just frustrated. | ||
| That's like micro-machining. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Here's another one, here's another one. | |
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| God damn, dude. | ||
| That must be so hard to do live. | ||
| It's... | ||
| As long as I get proper vocal and... | ||
| Warm-ups? | ||
| Warm-ups. | ||
| Then I'll be fine. | ||
| Like, if I just try to go out there and do that, it's not happening. | ||
| I mean, you gotta stretch. | ||
| Like, you know, before you train jiu-jitsu or something, you gotta, you know, 20-30 minutes of warming up. | ||
| It's that similar concept. | ||
| I do that now before shows. | ||
| I make sure I have conversations. | ||
| Before shows. | ||
| Do you ever do scales? | ||
| Yeah, I go... | ||
| But I also stretch my mouth. | ||
| Yeah, you have to. | ||
| It's a lot of stretching my tongue and my cheeks out and talking. | ||
| The crucial thing is making sure I'm extremely hydrated. | ||
| Because that'll make my mouth very... | ||
| Kind of juicy and lubricated. | ||
| Juicy. | ||
| Juicy and lubricated. | ||
| Yeah, dawg. | ||
| Keep talking, I'll get my pants off. | ||
| But I found that the internet is, you know, in particular, like what Google is doing right now, trying to destroy network TV with Google Fiber. | ||
| I found a couple years ago, and where this is all from, where Bennett is coming from, is that we're kind of all as artists, Taking control back and You know like you do with this podcast what I do with my videos what I did with my blog and we Create all this shit that they you know the suits will try to take and repackage for networks And I think that the thing with Louie is they let one through that didn't have to go through the filter of all the Executives | ||
| and the suits and that's why it's so fucking awesome. | ||
| Yeah It's because they said, alright, we're just going to let this guy do it. | ||
| Well, look at what you're doing, right? | ||
| And look at how would you have done that if you had a bunch of people telling you what to do? | ||
| I wouldn't. | ||
| I couldn't. | ||
| Even if I had one person telling me what to do. | ||
| I mean, I like the autonomy. | ||
| And I think that's why there's so many voices that are emerging because we're getting these singular, very creative voices that are coming, you know. | ||
| What you do. | ||
| Perfect example. | ||
| Well, this podcast would have never been like this if we had a producer or a network. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is there a funnier way that we could say that? | |
| Could we use some more G-rated words? | ||
| Advertisers aren't going to like using the fleshlight. | ||
| Or this motherfucker. | ||
| Just having him hang around the same butthole every five seconds. | ||
| Can we get James Franco instead? | ||
| Well, they would be like, we've done studies and... | ||
| Oh, that's, well, that's one of the things, like, in one of the projects I have is I'm very certain that it's gonna have to go through a fucking focus group. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| I've never had that happen to anything I've ever done. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Focus groups are strange. | ||
| Well, I mean, what is, like, you've had, what are, like, some of the comments that you get? | ||
| I mean, you get, like, very bizarre, fucked up comments. | ||
| No, quite honestly, if something's good, they like it. | ||
| I mean, that's the reality of focus groups. | ||
| People don't like it. | ||
| They like to say, well, you know, fuck a focus group. | ||
| But if you got a good product, the focus group is most likely going to like it. | ||
| The problem is you shouldn't have to do it that way. | ||
| The way you develop a show, it's like the way you develop anything. | ||
| It's like you create it, you put it out there, you get feedback, you work it and tweak it and you continue. | ||
| And when you start out, it's not going to be the same thing it is a year from now or six months from now. | ||
| You're going to get it together. | ||
| For me, there's a whole process from the beginning of coming up with a bit and then what the bit actually becomes in six months. | ||
| And if I had to judge it based on the first time I ever did it on stage, most bits would probably never make it. | ||
| They would die off. | ||
| They're just not ready. | ||
| And when you're on a television show, everybody wants the beginning product to be the final product. | ||
| And it's not. | ||
| It takes fucking forever. | ||
| Go watch the first episode of The Sopranos. | ||
| It was a comedy. | ||
| It was a comedy. | ||
| It was a slapstick, over-the-top comedy where Edie Falco had a fucking machine gun and her daughter was trying to climb into the window at night and she's out there with an AK-47 pointing it at her. | ||
| Yeah, because Meadow was trying to sneak back. | ||
| She had snuck out of the house. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It was a joke. | ||
| It was a hilarious, loopy, over-the-top mob show. | ||
| And then it became this intense, incredible drama and one of the most realistic shows in human history. | ||
| But it didn't start out like that. | ||
| It's weird to see shows kind of take that evolution. | ||
| I think that, like, Eastbound and Down has done that. | ||
| That went from a very funny comedy and now it's kind of like this... | ||
| Drama show. | ||
| It's dramedy. | ||
| Have you seen any of the recent seasons? | ||
| I like that guy. | ||
| I think he's fucking awesome, but I can only watch that show in short bursts. | ||
| Well, the second season, and in particular the third season, dude, it was a fucking romantic comedy. | ||
| What are we doing here? | ||
| Brian's distracting us. | ||
| I was showing a scene from Sopranos Joey Diaz. | ||
| It was in The Sopranos. | ||
| he was on mad TV yeah look I think it's hard to get someone to be willing to let you do your thing and put it on TV but that's the only way it's ever going to be your thing It's something you have to go through. | ||
| It's just hard to do it on a place like FX. But you could do it on Vimeo. | ||
| You could do it on YouTube. | ||
| That's the beautiful thing about the internet. | ||
| And that's why you're here. | ||
| No, that is why I'm here. | ||
| That's also why you're there. | ||
| That's why you're there. | ||
| You're representing you. | ||
| You're representing Mac Lethal. | ||
| I mean, you here. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| You made it. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Everybody likes it. | ||
| Oh, good. | ||
| Here I am. | ||
| The guy who does that. | ||
| Well, we want to change all that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We want to throw in a bunch of other people that you don't even know and get a bunch of guys that have a totally different sensibility. | ||
| Listen, we know how to make some shitty TV shows. | ||
| We've done it in the past. | ||
| And we would like to take your amazing original idea and turn it into a piece of shit that you're going to pull your fucking hair out of. | ||
| And we're going to give you nine writers. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And they're all dickheads. | ||
| Have you seen this, Joe? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| He makes a Kanye West song out of nothing but hair. | ||
| Oh, you haven't seen this? | ||
| It's great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He loops it. | ||
| Dana White followed me on Twitter because of this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This took like a week. | |
| What looper do you use, by the way? | ||
| That is the fucking Roland 606 loop machine. | ||
| It has infinite loops. | ||
| And then I have one where I use my phone, which is a program called Everyday Looper. | ||
| And you're doing all this by just pressing the lube machine and making noises with a hair dryer, and for people who are listening to this at home, going, what the fuck am I listening to? | ||
| You have to see it. | ||
| This is, uh... | ||
| Niggas in Paris by Kanye and Jay-Z. | ||
| I know on how to say that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Check it out. | |
| You know I'm bald so hard that my whole head's shiny. | ||
| So it's easy to find me. | ||
| What's Rogaine to a motherfucker like me? | ||
| Could you please remind me? | ||
| Bald so hard that shit's great. | ||
| Gotta sweep all the hair in the trash again. | ||
| Gotta buzz it, gotta keep it really short. | ||
| I gotta shave it or I'm looking like I'm Khloe Kardashian. | ||
| See, I'm a bald badass like Dana White. | ||
| When I roll up on your bitchy ass and a slick pre-ass. | ||
| And I fight you when I'm high as fuck. | ||
| Like I'm Nick Diaz and never get rehab. | ||
| I'm getting cinematic with it. | ||
| Anybody wanna try to fuck with a lethal brother? | ||
| You did one. | ||
| You did another one where you looped. | ||
| Where you were making noises like with your mouth. | ||
| With the phone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's the one I talk about. | ||
| I mentioned your name. | ||
| Yeah, that's how I saw it. | ||
| Getting your mind so open like I'm Joe Rogan. | ||
| I used this program called Everyday Looper and I probably made this guy fucking half a million dollars. | ||
| And you did it with your phone. | ||
| Yeah, I did it with this. | ||
| This is the program right here. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And it just infinitely loops. | ||
| And basically I used this thing called Apogee where I could plug it into my phone and record an acoustic guitar and then I made a lot of noises with my mouth and just looped them, whistled, harmonized with the whistle and then I did a song over it. | ||
| And I just have found that in 2013, it's not enough. | ||
| Especially if you're not going to get radio play and you're not going to get on MTV. If you want to stand out, you have to use new forms of making songs. | ||
| Use technology, hair products, whatever it is. | ||
| You have to do things that are pushing the envelope. | ||
| And we've already done everything. | ||
| We've already written every song we can possibly write with all the instruments that we have. | ||
| So what I'm trying to do is incorporate pancakes or incorporate my iPhone or incorporate hair products, whatever it is that's going to push the envelope and make it stand out a little bit more. | ||
| Yeah, this is it right here, right? | ||
| Yeah, this is it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is crazy. | |
| Brilliant. | ||
| And then you bust out a guitar in the middle of this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| The guy that makes this Everyday Looper program has to owe me fucking $250,000 for how many of these I sold for him. | ||
| Dickhead. | ||
| And so you make this, and that's all you have to do is do that once, and then it loops. | ||
| Then it loops, then I add another one to it. | ||
| And you can stack them over top of each other, too, in this program. | ||
| It's so badass. | ||
| And you're doing all this in real time. | ||
| Yeah, and then I harmonize right here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey yo, uh, and I might suck at guitar, but at least I've never protested a dead soldiers funeral, uh. | |
| And yeah, I'm losing my hair, but at least I've never judged a woman for thinking that another woman's beautiful. | ||
| And sometimes, and I mean sometimes, I might even text message while I drive. | ||
| Woo! | ||
| But I've never thanked God when a precious five-year-old child was shot and died. | ||
| Uh-uh. | ||
| What's it to you? | ||
| You got something so sick. | ||
| Just bust into a nutty cuckoo. | ||
| It's so ugly, brutal. | ||
| This was about when Sandy Hook happened. | ||
| Because I'm from Kansas City, so I'm 20 minutes away from Topeka, Kansas, where the Westboro Baptist Church is. | ||
| And we've experienced for our whole lives the Phelps family, the Roper family, always protesting, you know, like if a soldier dies in Afghanistan and they have a funeral for him, they will protest it and say that God is the reason that it happened because America is a fag-enabling country. | ||
| So Sandy Hook happened, and all the children were executed, and they were gonna go out there and protest the fucking candlelight vigil for all the children that were shot in that tragedy. | ||
| So I made a song, but see, I'm very stern and austere, and I don't like to make songs if I feel I'm benefiting off of a tragedy. | ||
| It has to be completely genuine. | ||
| I was getting ready to have a baby in two months. | ||
| So it was just something that I really connected with. | ||
| And I kind of had that idea laying around of using my phone and the whistle and the guitar, so then I just put the lyrics over it. | ||
| And I actually, one of the greatest accomplishments of that song is I met and I'm now friends with Megan Phelps Roper, who is the most outspoken of the Westboro Baptist Church up until about a year ago, where she decided that she no longer agreed with the ideals she was indoctrinated with and left the church and is now exiled from the church. | ||
| So she was the most vocal? | ||
| She was like their social media person. | ||
| Person that would be on Twitter. | ||
| She argued with Kevin Smith a lot on Twitter and made a lot of YouTube videos and websites to promote the Westboro Baptist Church and everything they stand for. | ||
| So what happened? | ||
| How did she snap out of it? | ||
| There's a very long and interesting article. | ||
| I can't remember the website that it is, but she explains that she hit a ceiling at one point and realized that her family... | ||
| Does not have exclusive rights to decide what is and isn't right or wrong. | ||
| And her whole thing is she just feels like they represent hate and they don't represent love. | ||
| And that she just kind of grew up and realized she was indoctrinated as a child. | ||
| Wow, that's a fascinating case. | ||
| That would be an interesting documentary. | ||
| Oh, totally. | ||
| And she wrote me a very, very long email that said, I just wanted to know if you would forgive me and I wanted to apologize to you for anything that I ever said. | ||
| And she never said anything about me. | ||
| But she saw that video and just said it hit home and I miss my family a lot and I've been exiled by them and we've developed a friendship over it. | ||
| And now she's... | ||
| On kind of a mission to find out who she is and what she thinks and what she feels, but she knows she doesn't agree with the family. | ||
| If you leave their ideals, they fucking exile you. | ||
| She hasn't talked to any of her family in like a year. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Well, she's lucky. | ||
| Fuck them. | ||
| Yeah, no, fuck them. | ||
| But just the idea that you could grow up in an environment like that and be indoctrinated into that thinking is very real. | ||
| There's children right now that, if they're protesting, which I'm sure that they are, have signs that say, you know, American troops dying is a blessing from God because America is a fag-enabling country. | ||
| Yeah, it's all... | ||
| Have you seen Jesus Camp? | ||
| Love it. | ||
| That takes place in Independence, Missouri, which is 20 minutes the opposite way. | ||
| That lady that speaks in tongues, the weird chick that has the camp. | ||
| I don't remember what her name is. | ||
| She has the curly hair. | ||
| She's kind of frumpy and she'll randomly start going, speaking in tongues. | ||
| She's in Independence, Missouri. | ||
| That's right up the street. | ||
| We have the biggest... | ||
| Population of evangelists and where I live and that's maybe one of the reasons why I stay because I'm not around a bunch of like Progressive creatives. | ||
| I'm around against very volatile Non-tolerant people intolerant people and that's why you stay it's maybe one of the reasons because I feel like it fuels Some of the stuff that I do and I'm in a different environment than a lot of musicians and writers are So it gives you a different perspective. | ||
| It gives me a different perspective. | ||
| Yeah That sounds like a nice excuse for staying in campus. | ||
| You're like, look, there's some good things about it. | ||
| Cheap rent? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Cheap rent, clean water. | ||
| Fight the power? | ||
| Evangelists. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I think because of the internet, we've talked about this on the show many times before, that I think there's pockets of cool people all over the place. | ||
| Everywhere. | ||
| Because of the internet. | ||
| Yeah, everywhere. | ||
| It really starts with what kids are exposed to. | ||
| Kids are exposed to this. | ||
| They stay in the neighborhood. | ||
| They grow up, become parents. | ||
| What were they exposed to as they're developing, as they're becoming a human being? | ||
| What made them think that this is something to aspire to? | ||
| If you grow up around a bunch of Fred Phelps-type characters, you can really fuck your perspective. | ||
| But nowadays... | ||
| You're getting so much more input. | ||
| This woman, I'm sure, had a lot of it had to be fueled by her media appearances and the feedback that she got from that, but a lot of it had to be fueled by the internet itself. | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| Small town kids all across America that get to listen to podcasts now and read blogs and get to watch documentaries on their computer and be turned on to something on Twitter where they never would have had access to that. | ||
| Oh, before they were so isolated and all they heard was the ideals that were shoved down their throats constantly. | ||
| So I think that it's a great thing for just the evolution of the youth mind because they're going to be able to break away a lot earlier. | ||
| I came up in a fucking Presbyterian family. | ||
| My parents were religious. | ||
| And I didn't leave the faith and stop believing until I was 23 when I lost my mom. | ||
| And I think that forced me to confront the idea of death. | ||
| And I realized I wasn't afraid of it. | ||
| It sent me on this whole spiritual journey where I realized... | ||
| How old are you now? | ||
| I'm 32. So this is nine years ago? | ||
| Yeah, nine years ago. | ||
| This was nine years ago as of three days ago, September 7th, 2004. And up until that point, I was... | ||
| Blindly faithful. | ||
| I just believed. | ||
| Because that's what you do in Kansas. | ||
| That's what you do. | ||
| You go to church and you believe in Jesus and atheists are weird Satan worshippers. | ||
| That's how I feel. | ||
| I lost my mother and I think what that forced me to do, and this is We didn't have a whole lot of internet access for the information that we do now, but what it forced me to do was just confront the idea that religion exists solely predicated upon the idea that people are afraid of death and no longer existing. | ||
| And because we have no ability to explain what has happened up until this point. | ||
| And, you know, history becomes very murky the further you go back. | ||
| Fascinating. | ||
| Now, Presbyterian, what exactly does that mean? | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| In Kansas City, we have evangelists, Methodists, Lutherans, Presbyterians, Catholics. | ||
| No Muslims. | ||
| No Muslims, no Buddhists, none of that shit. | ||
| All Jesus. | ||
| Lots of Jesus. | ||
| Huge churches. | ||
| Huge places for Jesus. | ||
| I was Catholic until I was in first grade. | ||
| So what happened in first grade? | ||
| they cured me they cured me of Catholicism I went to first grade Catholic school and it was just so crazy I knew that that that was all bullshit I knew they were all out of their mind I didn't want to have anything to do with Catholicism before that my parents broke up when I was a little kid and I was very insecure when I was like five my parents broke up and we were still living in New Jersey at the time all of a sudden we were in an apartment we weren't living with my dad anymore my dad was really violent it There was a lot going on that was really bad. | ||
| And so I was really religious as a small boy. | ||
| I thought that God was going to take care of everything, and that would be the secret. | ||
| God would take care of everything. | ||
| I don't know who else was telling me that. | ||
| Probably my grandmother or something. | ||
| Well, I went to a Catholic school. | ||
| Our Lady of Chesterhova was the name of the place. | ||
| And it was so fucking nasty and joyless. | ||
| And they were so evil that I knew it was bullshit. | ||
| I knew it was all lies. | ||
| This woman who was the nun was such a fucking wretched cunt. | ||
| She helped me so much and just giving me no way out of it. | ||
| It was no way but to abandon it. | ||
| She was so nasty and shitty and I just got to see the machine underneath what she was promoting. | ||
| So did you become an atheist in first grade? | ||
| No, I would never say I was an atheist. | ||
| I'm not an atheist today. | ||
| What I am, I like the term agnostic, but what I am is a person who hasn't died yet. | ||
| And I think anybody who hasn't died yet is just talking shit about what comes next. | ||
| That's a very, very good way of looking at it. | ||
| Especially if you've done mushrooms. | ||
| If you've done psychedelics. | ||
| I've done a lot of mushrooms. | ||
| If you've done psychedelics, if you've done dimethyltryptamine especially... | ||
| I have definitely done dimethyltryptamine, too. | ||
| I have. | ||
| Once. | ||
| It gives me, at least, the idea... | ||
| And I'm not saying that... | ||
| Here's an important point about psychedelics. | ||
| It's not necessarily real. | ||
| Like, what you're seeing when you're having a psychedelic experience, it doesn't mean you went to another dimension, even though it feels like another dimension. | ||
| It doesn't mean you're talking to intelligent entities that give you the secret of life and the secret of happiness. | ||
| It doesn't mean that. | ||
| But... | ||
| Whether or not you really are or are not traveling to other dimensions when you're on psychedelics, the experience is exactly the same. | ||
| So it really is as if, whether or not it's true, but it is as if you are traveling to another dimension and interacting with intelligent beings. | ||
| And intelligent beings that give you truth and honesty and see through all your bullshit and see through your behavior and can explain How to live this life in a happy way to you. | ||
| And if you listen to them, it actually works. | ||
| It doesn't mean it's not a figment of your imagination. | ||
| It might be. | ||
| But the point is that even if it really is just your imagination, there's no difference in the actual experience itself than if it was really happening. | ||
| The experience is the same. | ||
| But do you think that because when people talk about like when I smoked DMT the one time that I did and it was Spellbinding. | ||
| I mean fucking when you talk about going to another dimension you really do and I don't think it's it's like a figment of your imagination I just think you enter parts of your consciousness that you are unable to access unless you're unless you do hallucinogens. | ||
| It's all speculation. | ||
| I've come to the understanding that there's a lot of people that try to define psychedelic experiences and they try to say, well, this is what's happening. | ||
| A lot of them are really intelligent people who are skeptics and they're debunking the psychedelic experience. | ||
| I've come to the realization that no one knows. | ||
| No one knows and no one will know, unless we have a much, much, much deeper understanding of the actual human mind and consciousness itself. | ||
| When they start having the ability to transport consciousness into other external devices like an artificial body or something like that, things that people like Ray Kurzweil believe we're going to be able to do someday, then maybe they'll have a deeper understanding of what exactly the psychedelic experience is. | ||
| But until right now, what we know is there's some chemicals, they pass through the brain-blood barrier, and then this really unpredictable pattern of images and experiences and feelings come up, and we don't really know what it is. | ||
| But we do know that those experiences also happen when you're about to die. | ||
| We know that those experiences happen in people that are going through near-death experiences. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I've always wondered if that's what a near-death experience was, is maybe the body thought it was going to shut down permanently and released all the DMT and then maybe revived, but you still get to experience that. | ||
| It could be. | ||
| I've always thought of that. | ||
| What if you shoot yourself in the head? | ||
| If you shoot yourself in the head, is that like you don't get a chance to go to the next level? | ||
| Because you just blast it all out of your head? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or is it so good that it recognizes as the bullet hits your skull, it just bursts out? | ||
| It's just like a blink. | ||
| Yeah, that'd be fucking amazing. | ||
| One thing I will say about psychedelic experiences, and I've heard you talk about this before, is invariably they always take me and... | ||
| Guide me and hold me over any issues that I have in my life and it's like a fucking giant magnifying glass. | ||
| The last time I ate mushrooms was about three years ago and I had some some issues going on with I felt like I wasn't working hard enough and I wasn't treating some of my friends and contemporaries with enough respect and I ate mushrooms and within like 10 minutes it was on an empty stomach I was having terrible fucking panic attack. | ||
| And, you know, some people call it a bad trip, but I think it's actually a good experience because it was necessary and therapeutic for me. | ||
| Invariably, this happens. | ||
| And if I have no issues going on, I don't necessarily feel that way. | ||
| So it's good for those things. | ||
| I agree totally. | ||
| That uncomfortable feeling is very important to me. | ||
| It's terrible when it's actually happening, but it's such a growth experience when you go through it. | ||
| And when it's done, it's like getting off of a roller coaster. | ||
| You just kind of feel euphoric and relaxed. | ||
| You come out with a different peace of mind. | ||
| And I've always... | ||
| Anytime I've ever done them, I found any issues in my life that I had, I could resolve in a healthier way or at least had a better perspective on them. | ||
| Yeah, those uncomfortable moments, it's almost like, you know, you have a subconscious and it just sort of gets filled. | ||
| Your subconscious gets filled with this one bullshit thing that's like... | ||
| And then once you... | ||
| Kill off the consciousness and enter into the psychedelic state. | ||
| It's like, look, man, we got a backlog of bullshit that you've been saving up here in this warehouse. | ||
| What do you want to do with it? | ||
| And you're like, oh, I didn't know it was all there. | ||
| Well, I have a friend that was very heavily for seven, eight years addicted to Oxycontin and tried to kick 30, 40 different times. | ||
| Didn't work. | ||
| So he went down to St. Kitt's and did ibogaine therapy and And what I've heard about ibogaine in comparison to even DMT or acid is it fucking digs, excavates everything that you have from when you were a child even. | ||
| Everything that you have. | ||
| The deepest, darkest shit that you have buried Covered in cobwebs and it brings it all out and it resets your body and people will come away not only not addicted to painkillers, but he stopped smoking cigarettes, stopped drinking caffeinated beverages, stopped eating any artificial sweetener or corn syrup and just experienced a very Terribly painful memories from his childhood and it almost cleansed him out entirely and That's what ibogaine does is it essentially | ||
| resets your entire existence on a physical mental and emotional level and So many people are you know, of course, it's illegal here, but so many people are being saved from opiates and other addictive substances with it Yeah, it's really kind of stupid. | ||
| It's not just kind of stupid. | ||
| It's incredibly stupid that it's illegal. | ||
| And it's incredibly infantile. | ||
| This country that we live in is really trapped. | ||
| We are absolutely trapped by money. | ||
| And we're trapped by influence of the people with money that want to continue making money. | ||
| So they've stopped a bunch of things from being available. | ||
| And psychedelics being a big one because they're so consciousness changing. | ||
| And they can affect... | ||
| They can affect so much of the system, whether it be financial, whether it be political, governmental. | ||
| When you incorporate something that can radically change consciousness almost instantly, like your friend immediately kicks cigarettes, kicks oxys, becomes this different person. | ||
| Those type of radical shifts, you apply them to a population, and the number one issue that you're going to have is you're not going to be able to lie to those people as easily anymore. | ||
| Right, absolutely. | ||
| When people are lying to themselves, they're easy to lie to. | ||
| And as soon as they're not lying to themselves anymore, they'll recognize when you're lying to them. | ||
| You know, I'm really good at spotting bullshit artists. | ||
| And one of the reasons I'm really good at spotting bullshit artists is because I don't bullshit. | ||
| I try to be very nice. | ||
| I try to be as nice as I can, as much as I can. | ||
| I really do put a lot of effort into that. | ||
| But I'm not hearing it if you're full of shit. | ||
| You're not helping yourself. | ||
| You're not helping me. | ||
| I'm not trying to be mean to you, but I'm just saying that's nonsense. | ||
| You know it's nonsense, and I know it's nonsense. | ||
| Let's just stop right here. | ||
| That's probably why you like psychedelics, because they don't tolerate bullshit. | ||
| There's no bullshit. | ||
| No bullshit at all. | ||
| There's no bullshit into Pot Brownie, bro. | ||
| Pot Brownie is a psychedelic, as far as I'm concerned. | ||
| They are psychedelic. | ||
| The first time I ever ate a pot brownie, it was one of those ignorant experiences where you eat one and you're like, you know, an hour goes by and you're just kind of like, eh, this is kind of mellow, so you eat another one. | ||
| And then two, three hours later, your fucking eyes are dilating. | ||
| I puked. | ||
| I mean, you trip. | ||
| Bottom line, you fucking trip. | ||
| You trip. | ||
| It's a real psychoactive substance. | ||
| We've talked about it ad nauseum on the show before, but in the interest of people that have never heard it before, There's a chemical called 11-hydroxy-metabolite. | ||
| It's produced by your liver when you eat pot. | ||
| It's five times more psychoactive than THC. It's a completely different experience, and it's not available to you psychoactively when you smoke it. | ||
| So that's why, like, I've given brownies to people before, and they go, dude, this was fucking laced, man! | ||
| There's something else in here, man! | ||
| No, that is what happens. | ||
| It is what happens when you get a hold of an edible marijuana product. | ||
| My dad is 70 years old and hadn't smoked weed or anything since the 60s. | ||
| And within the last three or four months, my stepmom is having a lot of nerve pain in her back. | ||
| And they asked if I could acquire some marijuana for them. | ||
| So I got them a little bit to smoke and they enjoyed it. | ||
| And his friend that he plays acoustic guitar with... | ||
| They smoked one night, and to return the favor, he gave my dad some cookies. | ||
| And my dad ate a cookie, and my stepmom ate a cookie, and it was the most fucking disastrous experience. | ||
| I mean, phone call at 2 in the morning, just like, you need to come save us, come take us to the hospital. | ||
| I mean, it was awful. | ||
| And I was like, what did you do? | ||
| We ate pot cookies. | ||
| You're fine. | ||
| Go to sleep. | ||
| It'll eventually fade. | ||
| Just go over there and give him a hug. | ||
| Where was he? | ||
| At home. | ||
| Driving distance from you? | ||
| Yeah, he's driving distance from me. | ||
| Go give him a hug. | ||
| Nah, he's alright. | ||
| He's alright. | ||
| That's when you break out the fake thing. | ||
| Like, just drink a cup of milk and within 30 minutes everything will be fine. | ||
| Like, they almost tricked him. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| I have heard those before. | ||
| Like, I've heard coffee. | ||
| That coffee is one of the best at killing pot brownie buzz. | ||
| I heard Xanax. | ||
| I wouldn't fuck with that. | ||
| Xanax. | ||
| That sounds like there's not enough literature. | ||
| I don't think I would add that. | ||
| Because I know that people have done MAO inhibitors, and they've taken them with ayahuasca to try to up the effects, or with mushrooms, or different things to try to up the effects, and it's disastrous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like chemical, pharmaceutical, MAO inhibitors. | ||
| Because, you know, ayahuasca is a combination of orally active DMT, which becomes orally active because of this thing called harmine, which is an MAO inhibitor. | ||
| It's really an incredible chemical concoction that they figured out how to do in the Amazon, where they take the leaves of one plant and the vine of another and they combine the two of them because monoamine oxidase, which is MAO, kills DMT in the gut. | ||
| So when you eat it, normally it gets squashed before it ever gets into your blood system. | ||
| But this stuff is an MAO inhibitor, so it inhibits... | ||
| Oh, so when you eat it, it... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So people have tried to fuck around and go, oh, hey, you know, my mom's on MAO inhibitors for X disease, whatever. | ||
| I'll just take those with it. | ||
| And apparently, it's like the worst experience you could ever have in your life. | ||
| It erases your memory of how to move your toes and shit like that. | ||
| It can really fuck with you. | ||
| So I wouldn't fuck with Xanax and pot brownies unless you really know what you're doing. | ||
| I wouldn't fuck with Xanax in general. | ||
| That is a severely dangerous drug. | ||
| I mean, anything that will kill you if you withdraw from it. | ||
| I mean, you know... | ||
| My wife has a friend that's very religious and very anti-drug. | ||
| Would not do drugs. | ||
| Christian scientists. | ||
| We don't even drink, Mormon. | ||
| We don't even drink and take Xanax every night. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Like, my wife will be having conversations with her, and bitch will just drift off into, like, blah, blah talk. | ||
| And she's like, hello? | ||
| Are you there? | ||
| Like, what's going on over there? | ||
| Oh, you know, nothing. | ||
| Just take Xanax. | ||
| Take Xanax. | ||
| Isn't Xanax what they prescribe to people that have a fear of flying? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Because my sister takes it before flying. | ||
| Yeah, well, Dom Herrera takes it every day. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| Yeah, Dom has a Xanax issue. | ||
| He takes it every day. | ||
| Like, recreationally, or a little bit of both? | ||
| I'm sure he's got some sort of a prescription, but he likes to booze with it, too. | ||
| That shit is, you know, that's even more dangerous than, like, opiates or meth, because if you quit those two abruptly, any benzo, I think it's benzodiazepine, Is that how you say it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Xanax, Klonopin, shit like that. | ||
| If you quit those two abruptly, your body will shut down. | ||
| Yeah, what the fuck, man? | ||
| And they're everywhere. | ||
| Yeah, and they're like one of the most prescribed drugs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All the popular drugs, you know, Adderall, Oxy, Xanax, these are the things, they're the absolute worst for you, but they're the most popular. | ||
| Yeah, those are the ones. | ||
| They're bringing all the money in, and that's why Ibogaine is illegal. | ||
| Because if people start taking Ibogaine, they're going to stop taking all those other drugs. | ||
| Well, it's also because they don't even want to open up the dialogue for Schedule I substances. | ||
| Any of these drugs that were made illegal during the sweeping psychedelic legislative acts of 1970... | ||
| That's when the psychedelic drug laws were passed. | ||
| They were just trying to stop the hippie movement. | ||
| They were trying to squash everything. | ||
| So they made everything illegal. | ||
| A lot of people don't realize that before 1970, acid was legal. | ||
| Mushrooms were legal. | ||
| You could get a hold of these things. | ||
| Before 1970? | ||
| 1970. Wow. | ||
| Yeah, let's pull it up. | ||
| Psychedelic Drug Act of 1970. Psychedelic Drug Act. | ||
| That'd be so awesome if it was legal. | ||
| Well, it would change the world, and it did change the world. | ||
| And there's a reason why, if you go and listen to Buddy Holly, and then you listen to Jimi Hendrix, you're only dealing with a 10-year difference. | ||
| And it might as well be a billion. | ||
| Listen to Voodoo Child, and listen to Love Love Me Do, and realize that you're dealing with just a few... | ||
| Not Love Love Me Do isn't a great song, but the early Beatles stuff, it's so simplistic, it's so different. | ||
| And then listen to the White Album. | ||
| Listen to some of the shit that they did once they were obviously trippin'. | ||
| Came in through the bathroom window. | ||
| They had some just really varying, strange tunes. | ||
| They developed this different sort of Sound. | ||
| And I think it changed pop culture. | ||
| It changed human beings. | ||
| We went from this Father Knows Best Society to, you know, to the Freak Brothers. | ||
| I mean, it really, like, it opened up all these weird doors that they were absolutely terrified. | ||
| Yeah, classically, substances like that make better music. | ||
| And then in certain cases, when artists sober up, their music always suffers. | ||
| In a prime example, I'm not trying to shit on him, but Eminem used to be on a lot of like drugs and mushrooms and made like some amazing shit and then he sobered up and he started becoming like a fucking long distance runner or something. | ||
| And now it's just like sterile. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Have you heard his new song? | ||
| Yeah, he phoned that one in. | ||
| I think there's an issue with human beings where there's a wild recklessness that enables a certain amount of creativity to happen and then you also get a bunch of success and then you lock yourself in and you separate yourself from society and you become more disconnected and then you sort of hide from people even more and then the extent of your social experiences shifts. | ||
| Things become very different. | ||
| It happens with a lot of rich comics. | ||
| Their social experiences shift, and then they take less chances, and something that you really have to fight off. | ||
| Yeah, they become much more comfortable and surround themselves with people that are going to validate maybe shittier, not fleshed out material. | ||
| Yeah, where was this, Brian? | ||
| I saw this on the board. | ||
| Oh yeah, this is the other... | ||
| What was he doing? | ||
| Was this like two nights ago? | ||
| Was he bored? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was trolling. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I've heard. | ||
| He just was making faces the whole time. | ||
| That seems like something I would do. | ||
| Yeah, it does. | ||
| You know when we announced on the UFC, they announced once that Ronda Rousey and Misha Tate were going to be the coaches. | ||
| It was Kat Zingana originally, but she got injured. | ||
| And they announced it on TV, and I was making all these crazy faces, and so many people thought I was being disrespectful. | ||
| That I didn't... | ||
| I mean, they just decided to put it into that frame and decided that what I was like, I was like, what? | ||
| Women? | ||
| What are you... | ||
| Like, that was my point of view, which wasn't at all. | ||
| It was women and men together. | ||
| First of all, it was like, whoa, Ronda Rousey is going to host. | ||
| And then it was like, wait a minute, women and men are going to be in the house together? | ||
| That's fucking crazy! | ||
| Like, that was what I was saying. | ||
| But people just decide that a facial expression is... | ||
| You make the best facial expressions. | ||
| I told somebody online that if somebody took off your last TV show, they just took all the times you made those crazy eyes and stuff. | ||
| If they edited it all into one video of just you making eyes, it would be the coolest video in the world. | ||
| Those people that believed in the things that I was mocking got so mad at me for facial expressions. | ||
| What were you mocking? | ||
| Everything. | ||
| That's the problem with doing that show. | ||
| I really enjoyed doing that show and sci-fi was really awesome to work with. | ||
| They're great people and I really like those guys. | ||
| The real problem with doing that show is unless you're talking about a real subject like transhumanism, like the idea of technology replacing human bodies and things along those lines, or infectious diseases, something that was real that we actually could study, then you're talking to the same type of people. | ||
| Right. | ||
| If it's not easily disproven, it's at the very least marginalized fairly quickly. | ||
| Like, there's things that cannot be disproven, like alien life, which I believe in. | ||
| Well, of course. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I think you can kind of be stupid. | ||
| Not only do I believe in it, just because a lot of people think that I didn't believe in it from doing that show. | ||
| They were like, you know, oh, you know, you fucking, you think you're above it, you don't even believe in aliens, you know how stupid that is? | ||
| Like, that's not true at all. | ||
| I absolutely believe that there could be alien life out there. | ||
| I absolutely believe it's most likely alien life. | ||
| In fact, Neil deGrasse Tyson, when he was explaining Infinity... | ||
| And this was such a mindfuck. | ||
| But he said, infinity is so enormous that not only has everything on Earth in its exact order has happened on another planet somewhere else in the universe, but it's happened an infinite number of times in the exact order. | ||
| That's how big infinity is. | ||
| Then infinity literally has no end. | ||
| So if it can happen here, and if these words, these stumbles, these ums, these you, uh... | ||
| These have taken place in the exact same order, the exact same movements of my head. | ||
| There's been an incarnation of this podcast and this right here. | ||
| Right now I'm touching my fingernails together for no reason whatsoever. | ||
| I've done that somewhere else in the universe at the exact same time. | ||
| That is fucking insane. | ||
| Yeah, that's how big infinity is. | ||
| It's so big that eventually it overlaps and it happens again. | ||
| The exact pattern of what's happening now. | ||
| Not only that, it happens an infinite number of times. | ||
| That's fucking crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because I've heard that podcast. | ||
| The one that I thought was nuts was when he talks about if you go through a black hole and then you watch the fucking universe slowly unfold. | ||
| That one's a little crazier. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All of it's crazy. | ||
| Well, the thing that these quantum guys are saying now is that inside every black hole is potentially a whole other universe. | ||
| And that what a black hole may be is a doorway to another universe. | ||
| And these other universes might have completely different laws of physics. | ||
| And they might be exactly the same. | ||
| It might just be a fractal thing where inside every black hole is another universe with hundreds of billions of galaxies. | ||
| And inside each one of them is another black hole. | ||
| They found out, like... | ||
| I think it was the beginning of the 21st century or close to it, they found out that inside every... | ||
| When you look at a galaxy, the center of every galaxy has a supermassive black hole that's like... | ||
| I think it's one half of 1% of the entire mass of the galaxy. | ||
| So the bigger the galaxy, the bigger the black hole. | ||
| They exist in every single galaxy. | ||
| And they're like, well, this is madness. | ||
| Like, we didn't even know this before. | ||
| Now we have to figure out why it's there. | ||
| And so the most recent theory, and they back it up with that crazy goodwill hunting math where they have a chalkboard and all that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And ends with fucking pinatas on the top of them. | ||
| And you're like, I don't even know what the fuck you're drawing. | ||
| But they say that that's what their calculations have sort of revealed, is that most likely every galaxy has a gateway to another universe inside of it. | ||
| Now, come on, man. | ||
| Everybody knows that the Earth is only 7,000 years old. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| That's what you're growing up around, right? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| And I'm talking like family members, and I have had this discussion where they say, you know, no, it's about 6,900-something years old. | ||
| Humans are fucking older than that, but that's what they believe. | ||
| It's called Young Earth. | ||
| Young Earth Christians. | ||
| They believe in a Young Earth. | ||
| Yeah, unbelievable, right? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| What the fuck, man? | ||
| Moronic, man. | ||
| There's this recent discovery that they just found. | ||
| I want to say somewhere in South America, they're drilling for... | ||
| I put it on my Twitter. | ||
| I'll see if I can find it real quick. | ||
| But they found these armadillos that are the size of cars. | ||
| They found these things that were living just a few thousand years ago, 14, 20,000 years ago plus. | ||
| They found all this crazy shit that they didn't even know existed. | ||
| All these fossils. | ||
| And this is just one exploratory drilling where they were trying to... | ||
| Get to find out if there's like oil or something somewhere. | ||
| And they're like, holy shit. | ||
| I think a lot more of that is going to happen. | ||
| I mean, what, three days ago, like you were saying, the biggest volcano in the solar system was discovered. | ||
| So you have to wonder what else is going to be found. | ||
| Yeah, we said it was not as big as the one on Mars, but like super big, like really close. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So imagine knowing all this and having the will to have this type of infinite imagination for what the universe is and then being told that Earth is 7,000 years old and to get your clothes on because we're going to Sunday school. | ||
| I mean, that's what it's like living there. | ||
| Yeah, and the thing is that all those people, they can be cured too. | ||
| If you separated them all and got them all, here it is. | ||
| Venezuela's Jurassic Park Right. | ||
| and brought them around, people that they trusted, that had been experienced and removed from it, and someone who could tell them, "Listen, man, you've fallen into a bad pattern. | ||
| "You're wrong, you're wrong. | ||
| "God doesn't hate fags. | ||
| "There's no such thing as a fag." There's gay people, there's straight people, there's humans, and everybody has a different... | ||
| There's a reason why your hair is red, and this guy's hair is black. | ||
| It's just genetics. | ||
| It's a roll of the dice. | ||
| Sometimes they turn out gay. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with it. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| What? | ||
| Your Earth is apparently four point whatever billion years old. | ||
| You're wrong about that. | ||
| It's been around forever. | ||
| And we've been here for, I think, one-eighteen thousandth of a percentage for as long as Earth has been around. | ||
| Human beings have existed. | ||
| That's how fucking short we've been here. | ||
| Yeah, when you ever see those science shows where they show you the history of the Earth? | ||
| Oh my god, we're like right here, and then there's the Triassic area and all these other eras. | ||
| We're like a few thousand years. | ||
| But we're changing everything in that small amount of time. | ||
| 7,000 years. | ||
|
unidentified
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We're sucking all the fish out. | |
| 7,000 years, man. | ||
| Yeah, it's nuts. | ||
| 7,000 years of what? | ||
| Human civilization? | ||
| That's what they think. | ||
| They think that, you know, a talking snake in a fucking tree in a... | ||
| A woman and a man who ate an apple and then there was, you know, the best part about the Bible, I'm not sure how many times you've read it, but we have Adam and Eve and Cain and Abel and then it jumps like a couple hundred years and it never explains all the fucking incest that had to have happened in order to get to that point. | ||
| Because if you start with two people who have children, I mean, how else are they going to breed humans? | ||
| Yeah, I used to have a whole bit about Adam and Eve. | ||
| Did you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The idea is pretty silly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I think that having a son in February is what has made me go, okay, maybe we should get out of here. | ||
| Because I went through it and I know how it affected me, but I'm not sure if I want him to be exposed to some of the shit that I was exposed to. | ||
| Yeah, that's the process of becoming a parent. | ||
| You want to start nerfing the world. | ||
| Protecting your kids from things that made you awesome. | ||
| GTFO, man. | ||
| Brian, pull this up because there's a bunch of crazy photographs. | ||
| It says, out of the oil emerges Venezuela's Jurassic Park. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| I mean, this is a really small sample that these guys pulled up. | ||
| These paleontologists have found treasures rivaling the bountiful oil, a giant armadillo the size of a Volkswagen, a crocodile bigger than a bus, and a saber-toothed tiger. | ||
| Oil company surveys of the soil have uncovered a trove of fossils dating from 14,000 to 370 million years ago. | ||
| Many of the 12,000 recorded specimens from the different areas are now kept in a tiny office of the Venezuelan Institute for Scientific Research. | ||
| This is incredible. | ||
| A strong smell of oil. | ||
| Look at that guy holding that fucking skull. | ||
| This is amazing. | ||
| A strong smell of oil fills the room as this guy opens a drawer of a filing cabinet to reveal the tar-stained femur of a giant six-ton mastodon from 25,000 years ago. | ||
| I got one tattooed on my hand. | ||
| How big is six tons? | ||
| That's 18,000. | ||
| No, 12,000. | ||
| 12,000 pounds. | ||
| Yeah, there's a ton of 2,000 pounds. | ||
| A 12,000 pound animal? | ||
| Oh my god, how big is that? | ||
| How big is a 12,000? | ||
| How big is a regular elephant? | ||
| How many tons of a regular elephant? | ||
| Maybe a couple? | ||
| I don't know, maybe... | ||
| More than that, right? | ||
| You think? | ||
| Big-ass elephant? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You should probably look that up. | ||
| But this is pretty incredible stuff. | ||
| Because this is not like they went digging looking for fossils. | ||
| They're looking for oil. | ||
| And they're finding this shit. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Really, really, really, really amazing. | ||
| What's also lacking is a reliable indication that man hunted the megafauna that we're finding. | ||
| And lacking also are human fossils, which is really interesting. | ||
| It's about twice the size, by the way. | ||
| That mastodon is about twice the size of a big African elephant. | ||
| They're about six tons. | ||
| So like a king fucking African elephant is six tons. | ||
| And they were just walking around. | ||
| They were just wandering around. | ||
| Well, you know, then you think about, like, Megasaurus, or how many fucking tons did those weigh? | ||
| You know Megasaurus? | ||
| What's a Megasaurus? | ||
| The Megasaurus is like the giant fucking version of a Tyrannosaurus. | ||
| Hold on, I'm gonna tell you how much these weigh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| A giant tyrannosaur. | ||
| Well, yeah, but they were like way bigger. | ||
| Hold on, I'm going to tell you. | ||
| I think they believed that what was going on was that at one point in time, the Earth had a different oxygen level than it has today. | ||
| Like during the Jurassic period, before the meteor impact, it was a much richer, dense environment, and I think it made it easier for animals to grow big, and also easier for them to move around. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| That's a megasaurs. | ||
| I don't think that's it. | ||
| Yep, that's it. | ||
| No, here. | ||
| Megasaurus. | ||
| Is that a new one? | ||
| Yeah, he eats through a car. | ||
| Megalosaurus, sorry. | ||
| Megalosaurus. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, another weird thing about dinosaurs, man, is that we only find, like, what made a fossil. | ||
| When you really stop and think about how difficult it is to actually make a fossil, especially in an area where something is eating everything. | ||
| I mean, if you're living in the ancient dinosaur days, how long did a body sit around before somebody fucking chewed it down? | ||
| Oh, fuck yeah. | ||
| And shit it out. | ||
| You have to die in a mudslide in order to be preserved. | ||
| Everything just got eaten. | ||
| Those cunty dinosaurs. | ||
| Nature is so good at figuring out how to get rid of bodies. | ||
| Have you ever seen those videos of what happens when an elephant dies in Africa? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| It's incredible how quick. | ||
| They have time-lapse videos of hyenas eating an elephant and how quick it just becomes nothing. | ||
| It's like a couple of days. | ||
| A huge-ass elephant. | ||
| Okay, here you go. | ||
| The biggest. | ||
| This is Argentinosaurus. | ||
| Now, this is the biggest dinosaur ever. | ||
| Biggest documented dinosaur ever. | ||
| 120 feet from head to tail. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And weighed 100 tons. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| 100 fucking tons. | ||
| God damn. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Just one vertebrae of an Argentinosaurus is over 4 feet thick. | ||
| Can you imagine the poos? | ||
| One vertebrae is four feet thick. | ||
| Four feet thick. | ||
| That's this wide. | ||
| That's a vertebrae. | ||
| Four feet thick, a vertebrae. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| It's amazing that those things were around for hundreds of millions of years, too. | ||
| That's what's the most amazing thing, is we think of Earth and we think of us. | ||
| We can't even imagine an Earth without us. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, Earth is like, we just got here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just got here. | ||
| I'm gonna pull up time-lapse videos. | ||
| Look at that fucking thing, man. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Is that one of the... | ||
| Yeah, there's a... | ||
| Silence. | ||
| Silence, because even though this is an audio podcast, we're staring at dinosaur pictures. | ||
| By the way, we're 12. What did you say? | ||
| You're 32? | ||
| I'm 46. We're little children. | ||
| We're grown-up little children. | ||
| Pull up time-lapse video, elephant devoured in seconds. | ||
| High-powered, high-speed time-lapse shows seven days of animals feeding on an elephant carcass. | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| In seven days, it's gone. | ||
| And that's an elephant carcass. | ||
| And that's Africa. | ||
| That's not even dinosaurs. | ||
| You know, dinosaurs Compare a hyena to a dinosaur. | ||
| I mean, shit. | ||
| T-Rex, they believe, was most likely actually a scavenger. | ||
| Yeah, I've heard that. | ||
| I've heard that T-Rex was a scavenger. | ||
| They don't know that, though, for a fact. | ||
| They're still trying to figure it out because they also have to take into consideration the fact that the bodies could move differently then because the oxygen level was different. | ||
| The problem they have with it is they look at the body of that thing and they go, how fucking big is that? | ||
| I'm also trying to figure out how it walked because they have that they there's other speculations that they would Walk through rivers and they would use the tail to balance their large You know their heads were fucking huge So they would walk through rivers and then they would go to the land and scavenge. | ||
| Did you pull up that video? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look how quick these things... | ||
| Look, that's a leopard. | ||
| Leopard jack. | ||
| Is it a leopard or a jaguar? | ||
| This is over seven days. | ||
| They're a leopard, right? | ||
| Jaguar is South American. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Leopard is African. | ||
| Aren't jaguars black, too? | ||
| I think some of them are. | ||
| I think some of them are actually... | ||
| They have spots. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| That's a hyena. | ||
| Yeah, that's a hyena. | ||
| Hyenas go to war, dude. | ||
| Hyenas are monsters. | ||
| They're scary fucking animals. | ||
| Have you seen the video of the fucking pack of hyenas fighting the lions? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| The one where the hyena starts, like, barking and... | ||
| Stop, Brian. | ||
| The whole gang shows up. | ||
| There's a hyena that's getting bested by a couple of lions. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| So you've seen that and it goes to the... | ||
| The male lion shows up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The giant one who kills hyenas. | ||
| Well, then the fucking hyena goes and starts barking and, like, 40 hyenas come from the mountains and then they go and fuck these lions up. | ||
| Fascinating, man. | ||
| They fuck up the female lions and there's this one male lion that's enormous that they have like a nickname for him. | ||
| You know, he who comes with thunder or some crazy shit like that. | ||
| And he comes in and just fucks up all these hyenas and kills them and snaps their backs and shit. | ||
| Have you ever seen the video of the... | ||
| This is one of my favorite YouTube... | ||
| I'm sure you've seen this, but it's the bees that get addicted to alcohol. | ||
| And then the worker bees will rip their legs off so they can no longer be a part of the hive. | ||
| Yeah, how nuts is that? | ||
| Yeah, very nuts. | ||
| Fuck the wild. | ||
| That's all I have to say. | ||
| Fuck all that shit. | ||
| Pull up Lions vs. | ||
| Hyenas. | ||
| It's the very first video. | ||
| This is a confrontation between two eternal African enemies. | ||
| See, when I was a kid, I used to think hyenas were like nice, like dogs, like you could go up and pet one. | ||
| They're so evil. | ||
| There's a story of a woman who was, she was a trainer. | ||
| She would train hyenas. | ||
| And one day, she got a limp. | ||
| She like twisted her ankle and these hyenas that had been listening to her and following her directions couldn't resist and just dove on her and grabbed ahold of her calf and clamped down on her. | ||
| Took a chunk off of her. | ||
| If they see you're limping, they literally can't help themselves. | ||
| They can't help it. | ||
| That's what their instincts are for. | ||
| They're the cleanup crew. | ||
| This isn't a good video. | ||
| This isn't the one we wanted. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's one that has the actual confrontation. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Lions versus hyenas. | ||
| A terrible fight. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| Yeah, that's a hard world, man. | ||
| It's a hard fucking Scrabble world, living out there with lions and hyenas. | ||
| But my point being is that we're not really totally sure of how many different animals were alive. | ||
| We only have what got trapped in mud. | ||
| We have a good amount of those over the course of hundreds of millions of years of dinosaurs, but... | ||
| It's very possible that a few slipped through and just were eaten. | ||
| Well, the craziest thing to think is that 99% of all documented animals are extinct now in history. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| It is incredible. | ||
| Or that up to 100 different species alone go extinct per day in the rainforest. | ||
| Because there's so many different pods of the rainforest where just an isolated species could be living, like a mutant grasshopper or something, and they go extinct every single day. | ||
| Yeah, when they find something like this... | ||
| Crazy Venezuelan Jurassic Park type thing and they find all these new animals. | ||
| It's like you really have to wonder how many of these have not been found. | ||
| They found that Hobbit guy just a few years ago. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In the early 2000s I believe it was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is that? | |
| Lucy? | ||
| Is that what that was? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Lucy was an actual ancient hominid. | ||
| That was like the ancestor to man. | ||
| This is a completely different branch of the primate tree. | ||
| This is like these humanoids, these little hobbit things. | ||
| They live on this place called the Island of Flores. | ||
| And as recently as 14,000 years ago, these motherfuckers existed. | ||
| They were three foot tall, tiny people. | ||
| They used stone tools. | ||
| They had like little tiny brains and little tiny bodies, but they looked fairly human-like. | ||
| Yeah, they were like little hobby people. | ||
| And they were a real animal that lived alongside human beings through most of our history. | ||
| Jesus Christ, man. | ||
| They might even still be alive. | ||
| That's what's interesting. | ||
| Well, see, you know... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It was 10 years ago, maybe, or maybe not even that long, where the helicopter over the Amazon found that small tribe of people that had... | ||
| Turned out to be a hoax. | ||
| That was a hoax? | ||
| Yeah, the one they're painted red. | ||
| You're fucking with me. | ||
| That was a hoax? | ||
| No, no, yeah, it was a hoax. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| That's terrible. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| I loved that story, too. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| Where they were, like, holding the... | ||
| Trying to shoot their arrows at the helicopter? | ||
| It was at Universal Studios. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| No, it wasn't at Universal Studios, but it was a hoax. | ||
| I don't know why they hoaxed it. | ||
| Why? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That sucks. | |
| Let's find out. | ||
| Amazon natives hoax Amazon. | ||
| I didn't realize that was a hoax. | ||
| It might be the most Googled show ever. | ||
| I can't believe that... | ||
| I don't know Fukushima and... | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Fuka and Amazon hoax? | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of shit you don't know, son. | ||
| Damn, man. | ||
| Get on that. | ||
| Fake, uncontacted Amazon tribe is a hoax. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Turns out it's not entirely true. | ||
| The photographer that took the picture, Jose Carlos, has admitted that the tribe has in fact been known about since 1910. He created the hoax in order to call attention to the dangers of the logging industry. | ||
| Okay, but still. | ||
| Okay, so let's say that it is true that they've only been known about since 1910. They're still real. | ||
| And that still means that there are certain things that we probably have no idea are alive right now. | ||
| I mean, even other forms of, you know, smaller forms of humans or people that are further back in the evolutionary tree. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, I mean, there could be a small island with those little fucking hobbit people, like you were saying. | ||
| Well, that's what they're saying, is that this Homo floriensis, that's the actual animal, the actual human being that existed. | ||
| It was three feet tall, and they lived off the island of Flores in Indonesia. | ||
| Well, there's an animal that, or a thing, that they call the Orang Pendek. | ||
| That these locals have been describing for decades. | ||
| And it's exactly like this hobbit thing. | ||
| Little three foot tall human being that until when they discovered this, I think they discovered it in like, I want to say like 2003 or something. | ||
| Two studies. | ||
| Okay, 2005 and 2007. So it's really fucking recent. | ||
| And up until then, they thought this Orang Pendek was just bullshit. | ||
| But the Orang Pendek now, they think, might be this Homo floriensis that's living in very small, isolated numbers and hiding from people. | ||
| Because if it's smart enough to be using tools and you're dealing with the jungle, this thing might actually be still alive. | ||
| Any relation to Bigfoot? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's his cousin. | ||
| This is really sad cousin because Bigfoot can play basketball and all he could do is be a jockey. | ||
| It's, yeah, these, they actually, okay, Sumatra is where they find it. | ||
| I think it's very possible this thing is real. | ||
| The animal has allegedly been seen and documented for at least 100 years by forest tribes, local villagers, Dutch colonists, and Western scientists and travelers. | ||
| Consensus among witnesses is that the animal is a ground-dwelling bipedal primate that is covered in short fur. | ||
| And stands between 30 and 60 inches tall. | ||
| It's basically the same size. | ||
| Orang pendek is what it's called. | ||
| I mean, knowing that this animal used to be real as recently as 14,000 years ago and lived alongside human beings really makes me wonder. | ||
| It's kind of fascinating. | ||
| And again, look, 2005! | ||
| That's a blink ago. | ||
| That's even, that's, you know, so recent. | ||
| There's so much shit we don't know about what was here. | ||
| It's kind of weird when you stop and think about it. | ||
| You live your life and you're just kind of going on momentum, going to school, graduating, having a family, doing your thing. | ||
| And then all around you is this world that has sort of been established and you have this idea of what it is and, oh, you know, there used to be the pilgrims and they came here. | ||
| When you really start getting the big picture of how recently we got here, how much change has taken place, how 200, 300 years ago there was fucking nobody here! | ||
| Nobody. | ||
| No cities. | ||
| No nothing. | ||
| And then you realize 200 years ago, it's just two lifetimes in a row. | ||
| Two lifetimes in a row ago, there's fucking slavery. | ||
| There's people riding around on wagon trains and shit. | ||
| 200 years before that, nothing! | ||
| So in four lifetimes, zero. | ||
| American Indians, they didn't even have horses back then. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A lot of the American Indians before the Europeans came, they were fucking just complete, like, nomadic, tribal people, bows and arrows, wandering around, persistent hunting sometimes. | ||
| It's madness. | ||
| And what's even more maddening is thinking about a lifetime from now, what's gonna happen. | ||
| I mean, it's fucking Skynet, man. | ||
| Total recall. | ||
| Like, that's where it's going. | ||
| I feel it coming sometimes. | ||
| Yeah, so do I. I feel it coming when I get high. | ||
| I know that sounds so stupid. | ||
| But no! | ||
| But I'm serious. | ||
| There's a feeling I get sometimes. | ||
| I'm going to try to say this in a way that's going to make as much sense as possible, but there's a feeling I get sometimes when I get really high and I start contemplating things, especially if I get in the tank. | ||
| I get this feeling like something's coming. | ||
| I get this feeling like as a society, as a culture, we're going to be overwhelmed by a new version of what we're experiencing now. | ||
| A new version of technology that's shaping our lives right now. | ||
| But a version that's so immersive and so that it drags us into it and makes us become a part of it so deeply that we may never have a life like this again. | ||
| And sometimes I really like take into account the life that we do live. | ||
| That you can just shut off your phone. | ||
| That you can't just get in your car, turn the radio off, and just hear the engine as you drive up Mulholland and do whatever the fuck... | ||
| That might be gone. | ||
| There might be a time where Mac Lethal can never disappear. | ||
| That you will always be tracked. | ||
| I mean, you will always... | ||
| Someone will always know where you are. | ||
| You will always be in touch. | ||
| You will always be connected. | ||
| You'll be always on, you know? | ||
| That is 100%. | ||
| It's coming. | ||
| Yeah, that's coming. | ||
| That freaks me out, man. | ||
| That freaks me out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's, um... | ||
| But I think it's inevitable. | ||
| But it still freaks me out. | ||
| I mean, no. | ||
| I mean, I think we're closer to it than probably most people do. | ||
| I mean, I think they could probably do that. | ||
| We could probably do some variation of that now. | ||
| Well, I think you and I may be a little more in tune to it because we spent so much time using the Internet. | ||
| Both benefited from it, being shocked by it, but seeing the experiences, the amount of shit that you interact with because the Internet is so different than our parents. | ||
| It's so hard to... | ||
| Because they had no access to... | ||
| We have access to everything at the snap of a finger. | ||
| And there's this perception that the world has gotten worse and is a darker, more exploitative place. | ||
| And I don't necessarily believe that's true. | ||
| I just believe that we're exposed to every facet, every artery of the world now. | ||
| And we just now see how sick of a place it is. | ||
| And it's made us hyper-connected to everything that's always happened here. | ||
| And when our parents were here and before the internet, they didn't have that type of access. | ||
| They lived in more of a Pleasantville type of bubble. | ||
| And it's terrifying and fascinating equally. | ||
| Well, I have a love-hate relationship with what's going on right now with our culture as far as the influence of very aggressive, progressive people. | ||
| Whether it is feminists, like radical feminism, or whether it's... | ||
| I'll make fun of that stuff a lot, but there's a part of me that recognizes that what we're seeing, whether it's radical feminism or fighting against transphobia or fighting against homophobia or any of these things, what we're seeing is a culture that's become aware of the imbalances in a way that's never been possible before. | ||
| There's a level of communication that's never been possible before. | ||
| Massive communities of online people who are Whether they're progressive or feminists or anti-transphobic or transgender supportive, they've formed these aggressive communities that sometimes are a bit misguided in their approach for attacking people for beliefs that they believe, whether it's humor or whatever they feel like doesn't... | ||
| I've read this blog where this one person was attacking all transphobic humor online. | ||
| Part of me was like, okay, I see what she's doing, or she's trying to expose what she feels is gross behavior, but she's exposing it, and she's saying humor, and she's saying that it's lazy, and it's this and that. | ||
| And that's when I got to go, okay, look, everybody's funny. | ||
| You know, I'm funny. | ||
| My head, I don't have any hair on it. | ||
| I used to. | ||
| I shaved it. | ||
| I have a scar in the back of my head for where I had a hair transplant operation where they take the hair and they put it. | ||
| It's stupid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait, wait, wait, what? | |
| I had hair transplant. | ||
| You had hair transplant. | ||
| Yeah, like in the 90s. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So where they take and then they- They take a slice out of the back of your head. | |
| Like a piece of meat. | ||
| And then they take the hairs and they just put them in there one at a time. | ||
| Yeah, they do like individual plugs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's ridiculous. | |
| So wait, wait, wait, wait. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| How did that work? | ||
| It doesn't. | ||
| It doesn't work very well. | ||
| I mean, it works a little. | ||
| I had hair, obviously, but it was starting to fall out still. | ||
| Like the other hair was starting to fall out. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Now I'm left with these. | ||
| What I described it as like taking a bunch of healthy people, moving them to a neighborhood where everyone's dying. | ||
| Stupid idea. | ||
| So they eventually die, too. | ||
| No, no, no, they don't die. | ||
| They stay permanently because they're the hairs from the back of your head. | ||
| The hairs from the back of your head are genetically programmed to stay. | ||
| That's why when dudes go bald, they still have that weird thing at the back of their head. | ||
| And that's where the logic comes from, where they can move that hair. | ||
| But I don't understand why it doesn't work. | ||
| It does work. | ||
| It just doesn't work good enough. | ||
| It's not good enough. | ||
| The rest of the hair wants to fall out. | ||
| So I was using Rogaine for that. | ||
| And I was using Propecia before, but Propecia killed my dicker. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It didn't kill my dickie, but it didn't make my dickie as happy as it could be. | ||
| Did you ever try Nioxin? | ||
| This is what I have. | ||
| Yeah, it works kind of. | ||
| I found that Nioxin, because I have male pattern baldness too, I just wear a hat and grow it out back here so it looks like I'm full of shit. | ||
| It gave me little baby hairs. | ||
| It thickened it a little bit, but they weren't real hairs. | ||
| If it's going, it's going. | ||
| If it's going, it's going. | ||
| It's out of here. | ||
| You can do some stuff to keep it on, but man, it's tough action. | ||
| And I always tell people that the back of my head is a public service announcement. | ||
| Like, if you could look at my scar and you could go, do you want one of those stupid things? | ||
| That there is to remind you, don't do what I did. | ||
| And I'm happy like this. | ||
| I like having a shaved head. | ||
| It's very liberating to me. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| It's nice. | ||
| Is it true that Anderson Silva... | ||
| His hair will not grow, or is that him trolling? | ||
| Did he really burn all his hair off of his head with a hair product when he was 20 years old? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| I've never even heard that before. | ||
| No, he says he doesn't shave his head. | ||
| He says he burnt all his hair off. | ||
| Oh, he might be trolling. | ||
| He trolls a lot. | ||
| I know. | ||
| He trolls a lot. | ||
| He has to have Steven Seagal on his camp. | ||
| Now he's going to bring in Chuck Norris. | ||
| I saw that. | ||
| Not that Chuck Norris isn't an excellent martial artist. | ||
| Was a legit world champion. | ||
| And if I was going to take martial arts instruction from people, I fucking for sure would take martial arts instruction from Chuck Norris. | ||
| Didn't he train with Jean-Jacques Machado? | ||
| Oh yeah, he's a black belt under Jean-Jacques. | ||
| Ah, he's badass then. | ||
| Yeah, that's my lineage. | ||
| What do you think about Weidman Silva too? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| My point, what I was getting at before that, We got really sidetracked. | ||
| Sorry, sorry. | ||
| But I would be happy to talk MMA with you. | ||
| My point is, I make fun of myself. | ||
| You know, I make fun of everybody. | ||
| And if you're gonna call someone transphobic because they make fun of certain trannies, there's a fucking guy who's 50 years old, is 6'5", who's playing women's college basketball. | ||
| If you don't make fun of that, you're an asshole. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| And if he doesn't realize that he looks ridiculous being a 6'5", 50-year-old man competing with 18-year-old girls and pretending he's a girl, or, you know, being a female now, I understand that, but The fact that you get a reset, he did all his college credits, he played all his college sports as a male, but then when you change gender, you get a reset, and you're allowed to go in with zero. | ||
| That's overly progressive. | ||
| It's overly progressive. | ||
| And my opinions on, there's a woman that has been competing as an MMA fighter, lived as a man for 30 years. | ||
| It's bullshit. | ||
| It's total bullshit. | ||
| Yeah, because his... | ||
| Its body is a man's body. | ||
| Well, not only that, there's changes, there's absolute changes that take place, but the science that everyone's trying to quote, like the really super progressive people are like, you know, there's good science to support that you really become a woman, you lose your bone density. | ||
| No, there's not. | ||
| There's not. | ||
| Not only that, the amount of science that you are getting is all coming from either transgender doctors, Or people who are involved in the transgender procedure or monitoring what happens to a person. | ||
| There's never been a documented study of taking a male athlete that's been a male for 30-plus years, comparing the skills that they learned as a male, by the way, with a completely different muscle structure, completely different bone structure. | ||
| The mechanical frame is different, the shape of the torso is different, the wideness of the shoulders, the size of the hands, the hips, and the reaction time. | ||
| The big one is the reaction time. | ||
| And this is one that I don't hear people quoting. | ||
| There's been a 10%, it's studied, studied 10% variation between men and females. | ||
| Men have a 10% quicker reaction time. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| When it comes to striking, that is a big deal. | ||
| That is a gigantic deal. | ||
| That might be the difference between Roy Jones Jr. being the top of the world and Roy Jones Jr. getting knocked out. | ||
| Sure, yeah. | ||
| 10% is big. | ||
| But in talking about this, I became transphobic to a lot of these super ultra-progressive people. | ||
| And that's why I say that I have this love-hate relationship with this idea. | ||
| Because I think the love is, I am all for everyone... | ||
| I'm all for being able to be themselves. | ||
| I'm all for you being whatever you want to be, whether it's transgender or gay or, you know, cross-dressing. | ||
| And I have a friend who works with a cross-dresser and he's not gay, but he at work is a woman. | ||
| And when he goes home, he changes and he goes home and he becomes a man again and he has a family and everything. | ||
| He doesn't want to have a sex change operation, but he wants to wear women's clothes at work and he wants to be referred to as a woman. | ||
| And so they work for a big company. | ||
| And it's a gigantic corporation. | ||
| They allow it. | ||
| It's a very progressive company. | ||
| And I think that's badass. | ||
| Who gives a shit if a guy wants to wear a dress? | ||
| I want to wear a purse. | ||
| I wish I could wear a fucking purse, but I get mocked. | ||
| I think the love-hate relationship that I'm talking about is that people are realizing that they do have a say because of this new electronic media, because of the fact that you can... | ||
| We post a blog that starts a debate and exposes people to these ideas. | ||
| Here's one of them that's been coming up a lot recently. | ||
| And it's that having sex with a drunk person is rape. | ||
| And it's... | ||
| I mean, they're... | ||
| Guilty as charged. | ||
| Not necessarily. | ||
| So if you're drunk and another person's drunk, so which one is guilty then? | ||
| Both. | ||
| So you're raping each other? | ||
| Double rape. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Listen, I'm not joking around, man. | ||
| But here's what I love about it. | ||
| What I love about it is, I don't necessarily agree with it. | ||
| There's a man named Michael Shermer. | ||
| Michael Shermer is a very famous skeptic. | ||
| And he's being charged by this other guy who's this radical male feminist. | ||
| He's being charged with rape. | ||
| In his blog, he says that he has taken advantage. | ||
| And the language is very strange that this guy uses to describe the situation. | ||
| And he wasn't even told to him. | ||
| It was told to someone else and then told to him. | ||
| So it's all very sketch. | ||
| But the language is that Michael Shermer got her into a position where she was unable to consent and then had sex with her. | ||
| I don't know exactly what that means. | ||
| What they're implying by all the other corroborating stories is that he likes to get women drunk. | ||
| And there was another woman who said that she met him at a party and he kept her wine glass full and she got drunker than she ever used to and she was really embarrassed by that and somehow or another she blames him for the fact that she got drunk. | ||
| But they're trying to isolate a pattern that this guy does, which is apparently get women drunk and have sex with them. | ||
| And my point is, first of all, there's a broad spectrum of what is drunk. | ||
| And if you say that having sex with anyone who's drunk is rape, what if they have one drink and they're kind of tipsy and they get horny and they love you and they're attracted to you? | ||
| Is that still rape? | ||
| That's bananas. | ||
| If it's two drinks, if it's six shots and a beer and you're fucking 100 pounds, yes. | ||
| I would say that's rape. | ||
| If you're sober and that person's fucked up and you go, hey, don't worry about it. | ||
| Just lie down here. | ||
| Whoa, why are your pants coming off? | ||
| Hey, why is my dick in your mouth? | ||
| You still consider that rape? | ||
| That's rape. | ||
| Yeah, if you're sober and you're taking advantage of someone who's unconscious, that's fucking right. | ||
| Well, yeah, no, that's right. | ||
| If they're unconscious. | ||
| Yeah, they're lying on the bed, blacking out, and you're taking their pants off, I think that's right. | ||
| But I think it's hard to quantify, you know, if they have six shots and a beer, if they have an alcohol tolerance that's through the roof, I mean, how do you discern between what their alcohol tolerance is and how much they can handle? | ||
| It's a good point. | ||
| It's a good point. | ||
| The idea is that at a certain point, you're impaired. | ||
| You're impaired, period. | ||
| And for you to take advantage of that person in that state that's akin to rape. | ||
| And what is interesting about this is, even though I don't agree with the blanket statement, is that they've forced the debate now. | ||
| And they've forced this really age-old problem of creepy dudes getting women drugged and then having sex with them, which is fucking rape. | ||
| How many people have you talked to that are female that think their drink got mickeyed? | ||
| I've been a part of it. | ||
| I've seen it happen to a date. | ||
| I took a girl out. | ||
| It was one of my shows, one of my old shows when I was about 22 years old. | ||
| A girl that I was with, a guy approached her and gave her a drink and she was talking to him and she ended up on her ass. | ||
| I mean, couldn't. | ||
| Couldn't see straight. | ||
| Couldn't stand up straight. | ||
| And it drove me and I had no idea what was going on with her. | ||
| But within like a matter of 15 minutes, completely fucking inebriated. | ||
| Unable to speak. | ||
| Had to carry her home. | ||
| Woke up the next day, had no idea what happened. | ||
| She got fucking roofied. | ||
| Yeah, it happens. | ||
| She got fucking roofied. | ||
| It does. | ||
| It happens all the time. | ||
| It's terrifying. | ||
| It's not just roofies, it's GHB. They slip GHB into people's drinks and it conks them out. | ||
| It happens all the time, all over the world. | ||
| And it's sort of a thing that we know about but isn't discussed that often. | ||
| And what I like about what these radical feminists have done is they've opened up this conversation. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And now people are talking about it and they're debating it, whether or not it's true. | ||
| Well, is that rape? | ||
| That's rape? | ||
| No, it's not rape. | ||
| And in that argument, they force the dialogue, which I think is brilliant. | ||
| And it's a legit dialogue, and it's an important subject, because there are people that do drug people and take advantage of people. | ||
| But to call any time two consenting adults Dude, this woman on Twitter literally had a campaign and a blog post about it saying that people are sad on Twitter when they found out that they're rapists. | ||
| Because they disagreed with her. | ||
| This blanket statement of any time, like, even if it's your spouse, why do that if they can't consent? | ||
| And what she's saying is, if you're drunk, you can't consent. | ||
| It's a fascinating argument. | ||
| I don't agree with it, but it's fascinating that it's made people angry, it started this debate, it's got people talking, and that puts the energy on this very real issue. | ||
| But another guy had an incredible point, like, how could it possibly be that that's the only time where you're not responsible for your actions is sex? | ||
| If I get you drunk and then you decide to get in a car and drive home, is it my responsibility? | ||
| If you come over my house and we're both the same age, we drink wine together, and you get in your car and you slam into a tree, did I force you to drive drunk? | ||
| If you're a man, no. | ||
| If you're a woman, did I? No. | ||
| Well, how does... | ||
| If we're both drinking and then sex is involved, how are we not both responsible for this situation? | ||
| Is it considered aiding and abetting? | ||
| I got in trouble when I was 17 years old. | ||
| I got adjudicated of two felonies, which basically means I was 17 and not old enough to be convicted of them. | ||
| And we were at a party on the first night of spring break at a house party with a bunch of my friends. | ||
| I went to an alternative school, so they were a little more edgy, like Mexican and black gangster kids, and we were all there. | ||
| There was a car on the driveway and a girl came into the party and said there's two skinheads outside in this car. | ||
| So 15, 16 of these dudes went outside and surrounded this car and about four metal TPX bats came out of this garage and they beat all the windows out of the car, jumped on the windshield, cracked it, Got the guys out, beat the shit out of them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
With bats? | |
| With bats. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Now, here's where it gets fucked up. | ||
| So, there was some, like, SWAT team test mission going on about two blocks away, and they heard what was going on. | ||
| So, we're all standing there watching these kids beat the ever-living fuck out of these skinheads, and I don't even know if they were skinheads, but... | ||
| All of a sudden, like, 20, 30 cops roll up in bulletproof vests with fucking black fatigues on and machine guns and shit. | ||
| Well, here's what's fucked up. | ||
| I never laid a single finger on any of these kids and I got in trouble because I had a cell phone in my pocket and I didn't call the cops. | ||
| And they called it aiding and abetting. | ||
| And that's the same fucking logic. | ||
| And I never understood, because our argument was, well, if I would have pulled my phone out to call the police, maybe one of the kids with the bat would have hurt me or hit me. | ||
| You know, it's very convoluted and fucked up. | ||
| I don't think that's the same logic. | ||
| Because you can't be responsible for keeping track of how many drinks another adult has. | ||
| Especially at a party. | ||
| If someone's having a party at your house and you're all drinking together and maybe you might not even know but Mike had some whiskey and you didn't see him and he got fucked up and you thought he only had one glass of wine you'd be fine. | ||
| I don't think that's aiding and abetting. | ||
| I think if you're in a bar I think it becomes an issue. | ||
| But I think my point was if you see that they're drunk and then they get into a vehicle and you don't Proactively try to prevent them or try to keep them there. | ||
| That's an interesting question. | ||
| I wonder what your responsibility is if they're coming from your house. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You might have some responsibility if you actually gave them the alcohol. | ||
| But I disagree with it. | ||
| That's where I draw issue with it because there has to be at some point people have to have personal accountability. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Personal responsibility for all adults, not just because you're a woman. | ||
| You get to skirt it, no pun intended, because the fact that you're a woman. | ||
| That doesn't make any sense to me. | ||
| If you're at a party and you have some drinks with someone, and someone keeps pouring you drinks, and then you try to accuse them of getting you drunker than you normally would, and you use that as sort of a corroboration that this guy likes to get women drunk, like, man, you've made some fucking crazy leaps there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It sounds to me like a guy's offering you drinks, which you apparently said yes to because you like drinking. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Like, there's some madness there. | ||
| There's some madness. | ||
| But it does... | ||
| The thing I like about it, it does open up this debate of people being fucking creepy and drugging people and treating them as less than humans so they can just shoot loads into them. | ||
| So you like, as long as all of these issues have an open and somewhat passionate dialogue going on, that's more... | ||
| Yeah, it does. | ||
| They don't, though. | ||
| That's what's interesting. | ||
| These progressive blogs, the free-thinking blog this guy puts it on, they stifle even civil debates so quickly and harshly. | ||
| Anybody who thinks that this Michael Shermer guy is being unfairly accused and he doesn't have his day in court and what about his point of view? | ||
| You're supposed to be skeptical and yet you've taken this... | ||
| Second-hand account of a situation and posting it as evidence without talking to the other person. | ||
| And everyone knows that personal experiences and the memories of personal experiences are extremely inaccurate. | ||
| Not only that, there's a lot that happens when people sober up. | ||
| They start attaching a bunch of remorse and all kinds of other shit to things. | ||
| And sometimes people have a psychological ailment where it forces them to cause other people or blame other people for their own shortcomings. | ||
| We all know a lot of people that do that. | ||
| take into account all those things when you're using a personal account of a situation. | ||
| I've learned that the hard way. | ||
| I've backed people up before and then found out that they're probably full of shit, you know, later on, like, you're like, Oh, well, why didn't you fucking tell me that? | ||
| Like you didn't, you left that out, man. | ||
| So this guy, I think fucked up in doing this in a big way, but he did open the debate and the debate is being like really, uh, passionately argued. | ||
| I think he's also fucking up and showing why he did it in the first place by stifling any civil discourse on his own blog, calling them trolls and saying they're too stupid to enter into this debate There's all sorts of ad hominem attacks on anybody who has even a civil disagreement. | ||
| I mean, the people that they've shown... | ||
| A couple people have made videos of this showing how ridiculous the banning of people that disagree with no disrespectful language at all, just banned, you know, from this guy's board. | ||
| Everyone is like super ultra supportive. | ||
| And then I've looked on other boards and it's entirely the opposite. | ||
| Everyone is completely skeptical of this and saying that this is white knight horseshit to the extreme and that this guy's an attention whore and this is not skeptical. | ||
| There's nothing skeptical or free thinking about this. | ||
| And that this is... | ||
| Also a problem with blogging about something is that you're not getting a dialogue. | ||
| You're getting one person who gets to express themselves in a rambling, verbose way. | ||
| Whereas if you're having a dialogue, someone can have a statement. | ||
| And someone can say, well, that's not true because of this. | ||
| And then we'll go, oh, I thought that. | ||
| No, no, this was actually the case. | ||
| And now you've got a dialogue where you're trying to reenact the information as it actually took place. | ||
| You're dealing with multiple parties. | ||
| That's the only way to get a really accurate assessment of what happened. | ||
| And even then it's skewed. | ||
| One person will be more passionate. | ||
| They'll be better at describing things. | ||
| The other person, maybe their memory's not as good. | ||
| And it's hard. | ||
| It's hard to recreate a situation completely accurately. | ||
| And you don't do it in a third-hand account on a fucking blog. | ||
| You just don't. | ||
| You don't get... | ||
| And to pretend that you do is asinine. | ||
| And it shows me that you're using your fucking ego. | ||
| And your ego has been involved in this discussion. | ||
| Your ego to the point where you want your point to be absolutely correct and inarguable. | ||
| And that's bullshit. | ||
| But that's 99% of blogging. | ||
| Yeah, but it shouldn't be that way when you're talking about a guy who's a professor. | ||
| The guy's a professor and the blog is called free thinking. | ||
| It's so silly. | ||
| It's like everything that free thinking isn't. | ||
| You just failed an intelligence test in a massive, massive way. | ||
| Because you think... | ||
| And the arguments are so strange. | ||
| One of them I saw... | ||
| I've seen several. | ||
| This one theme that keeps repeating itself over and over again is that even if this guy's unjustly shamed... | ||
| It may be necessary to protect women to unnecessarily shame people who are innocent. | ||
| And I saw that and I said, that's crazy thinking. | ||
| Because it's never necessary to unnecessarily shame somebody. | ||
| That's like witch trial shit. | ||
| You don't throw out accusations of witchcraft Unnecessarily, so that you find the necessary witches and abolish them from your community. | ||
| No, never. | ||
| It's never okay to unnecessarily accuse someone of something they didn't do. | ||
| So if they get unduly or unjustly accused, it's okay if a few women are safe. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| It's a massive injustice against one person who is unjustly accused of a crime that he absolutely didn't commit. | ||
| I'm not saying that he did or he didn't, but that's a possibility as well. | ||
| And it's not being considered at all by any of these people. | ||
| And they're basing it on personal accounts and the guy's creepy and this and that. | ||
| Maybe he is. | ||
| He may very well be. | ||
| But as a person who calls yourself free thinking, you have a responsibility. | ||
| An absolute responsibility to be objective about this idea. | ||
| And you're not being objective about it. | ||
| You're looking at it through this massive, progressive, ideological standpoint. | ||
| Fucking crazy, man. | ||
| Yeah, it's interesting. | ||
| But I like it. | ||
| What I like about it is not that this guy is being unjustly accused. | ||
| What I like about it is that we're having these really interesting dialogues now that I don't think took place on a large scale before. | ||
| And I find it along with all the other things that are shaping human culture because of the internet. | ||
| I find it all to be really... | ||
| It's also pretentious to say it's so stimulating, but it is kind of stimulating. | ||
| It's stimulating, it's fascinating, and it's all like bubbling up around us and changing at a rate that I don't think we're even recognizing, man. | ||
| I think the rate is so rapid and so massive since 93, 94, whenever the internet became popular. | ||
| It's the Wild West, man. | ||
| It's craziness. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, everybody has a platform and everybody has a voice and the ability to do it in a different or original way. | ||
| And... | ||
| It's all about if they can draw the attention to themselves. | ||
| It's redistributing the power of who has a voice and who doesn't. | ||
| And it's the fucking Wild West all over again. | ||
| The roaring 20s of the digital era. | ||
| That's what I've been calling it. | ||
| That's how it feels to me. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| It's new, it's uncharted, and it's alive. | ||
| It's electric. | ||
| And all these different people, whether I agree with them or not, whether I think they're flawed or not, and a lot of them are flawed, and I'm flawed too, but this input and these new ideas that are encouraging all this debate and all this discussion... | ||
| I think it's amazing. | ||
| I think it's one of the most amazing events in our entire history. | ||
| The history of our culture. | ||
| I think it's our crowning achievement. | ||
| I mean, honestly. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I think we're dealing with one of the most unique times in human history. | ||
| And it's just sort of snuck up on us. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And Mac Lethal, you're a part of it, bitch. | ||
| I love it, man. | ||
| You are, right? | ||
| All those YouTube people with their crazy edits, they're a part of it, too. | ||
| Dude, they couldn't... | ||
| There are major record labels that would pay, that look at my YouTube channel as just an invaluable resource. | ||
| That would pay millions of dollars to be able to get the amount of subscribers I have because they can't do it. | ||
| Because people aren't interested in them. | ||
| People aren't interested in these huge record labels or these huge entities that produce, you know, homogenized, generic music anymore. | ||
| And it's really rebellious and... | ||
| For example, Russell Simmons just launched a YouTube channel called All Deaf Digital, and he's essentially throwing millions of dollars all over the place to try to beef up his internet presence and be a part of this. | ||
| And I don't think he's going to be very successful doing it. | ||
| Why? | ||
| How come? | ||
| I mean, he's just out of touch. | ||
| You know, his time was in the 80s. | ||
| And the early 90s when he could promote in New York City and wheat paste flyers and posters to walls and throw parties. | ||
| And he doesn't understand the Internet and how it works. | ||
| And, you know, the Internet requires a lot of humility and patience and constantly evolving and constantly engaging in dialogue, creative dialogue, being free thinking. | ||
| And I don't think that people like that understand that. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| There's a lot of people that are trying to capitalize off of YouTube right now because YouTube and Google have launched Google Fiber. | ||
| Do you guys have Google Fiber out here? | ||
| Dude, we have a fat 100 megabyte up and down per second connect that we had to have installed like a high-speed business line. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| Yeah, it's dope. | ||
| So I think Google Fiber is a thousand megabytes a second. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Is it a thousand megs a second? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think so. | |
| It's a thousand megabytes a second. | ||
| Well, here's what they did. | ||
| There's a place called Wyandotte County in Kansas City. | ||
| And it's like this kind of like white trash, lower middle class area of Kansas. | ||
| It's a very odd place for them to do this. | ||
| But this is where they've beta tested Google Fiber and everybody in the county has it. | ||
| And essentially what they're doing is for $150 a month they connect their fiber cable to your house and you get a thousand megabyte per second up and down. | ||
| You get 700 something original YouTube channels that are directly accessible by your television and then you get all the network TV channels and a phone. | ||
| And essentially what they're trying to do is topple over network TV. So about a year ago, Google threw like 70 billion dollars at like 700, 800 different people to create original content on YouTube. | ||
| Pharrell Williams, CNN, all these different people got these billion dollar investments and they said, make us new content. | ||
| Make us content that is gonna shut down cable TV. And that's what everybody's doing right now. | ||
| So, it's a fucking very fascinating and very exciting time. | ||
| I'm waiting for someone to come along and do, like, a Game of Thrones online. | ||
| Oh, that's gonna happen. | ||
| It's gotta, right? | ||
| Especially because we're gonna have 4K accessibility now. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| On your phone! | ||
| On your phone! | ||
| You're gonna be able to use your Samsung Galaxy and fucking film Game of Thrones Season 5. I mean, it's on. | ||
| It's on. | ||
| And that's what I love about all of this. | ||
| When I was coming up, I knew that I was maybe a little too weird, maybe a little too different to ever have a song on the radio. | ||
| I don't have the sex appeal that some of these preppy, douchebag rappers have, or I'm not edgy enough or whatever it is. | ||
| So I always knew I was going to have to connect with people one by one and build my own empire. | ||
| In the late 90s, this was just creating my own music at my house, sending off a thousand dollars, getting a thousand CDs manufactured and selling them out of the trunk of my car. | ||
| And one by one, building my own fan base. | ||
| Then as the 2000s progressed and the internet got bigger, I realized people are getting online to listen to and find out about new music. | ||
| So I jumped on that shit a long fucking time ago. | ||
| Never sought out trying to make a radio single. | ||
| Never tried to get on a major record label. | ||
| I've had major record label deal offers in the past couple years that have turned down because the money isn't good enough. | ||
| But I always knew that- Was that a humble brag? | ||
| Was that a humble brag? | ||
| I think I might be a humble brag. | ||
| Sorry about that. | ||
| Let me take that back. | ||
| It's alright. | ||
| Humble brags are okay. | ||
| Okay, fine. | ||
| They're part of life. | ||
| Fine. | ||
| Yeah, they were on my dick. | ||
| So, I just always knew that independent music, with the internet, when Sean Parker created Napster and we realized, found out that they could take a very heavy, big-sized WAV file and compress it down to a 3 or 4 megabyte MP3. That was the death of the music business as we knew it then. | ||
| There was no way record stores were gonna stay open. | ||
| There was no way records and CDs were gonna sell like they used to. | ||
| And it was only a matter of time before the internet got more exposure, got faster, people got on new computers and could download music. | ||
| And once that happened, it changed the game, completely revolutionized it. | ||
| So all these major record labels and all these huge platinum selling artists were completely shut down. | ||
| And then people like me had a lane. | ||
| And while we're not as big as some of these huge artists, Backstreet Boys or whoever the fuck, people like Immortal Technique, who I know you've had on here... | ||
| Or me. | ||
| We're able to use things like YouTube to directly connect to our fans. | ||
| And that's what's so exciting about Google Fiber is it's making it even better. | ||
| We're going to be able to put money into the shit that we do and have fucking big, semi-decent productions. | ||
| And we don't have to rely on any major record label, any television network, anything. | ||
| It's fucking... | ||
| Wild West, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Yeah, well, we're getting legitimate sponsors now. | ||
| We're getting, like, real companies and Stamps.com and LegalZoom and shit like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They don't have a choice. | |
| Where else are they going to go? | ||
| Well, not only that, we refuse to do, like, a real commercial. | ||
| Like I don't really read it. | ||
| I just sort of say – I say their points, but I say it the way I want to do it. | ||
| And I only do it in the beginning. | ||
| I won't interrupt any of the – they want to stop. | ||
| Like there's a lot of guys that are doing it now. | ||
| They're doing it like a TV show. | ||
| They stop every 15 minutes. | ||
| Hey, that's an interesting point, Mac Lethal. | ||
| You know what else is interesting? | ||
| Stamps.com. | ||
| If you have a business and they're doing it that way, and I don't want to do it that way. | ||
| We don't have to because we didn't. | ||
| And because it sort of became something very popular without that. | ||
| Yeah, and as long as you have the people paying attention, that's all that matters. | ||
| You're directly connected to them and you don't need them. | ||
| You just don't need them. | ||
| And that's what I've used YouTube and Facebook and Twitter to do is just get my weird music out there and my weird blogs out there and a lot of people like them. | ||
| And that's what's so fucking cool about it. | ||
| Yeah, I liked him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| He's very cool about it. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I appreciate it. | ||
| We're both a part of that sort of thing where people found something that they just liked. | ||
| I've done a lot of different things, whether it's Fear Factor or News Radio or the UFC or what have you, but I don't really use any of those things to promote this podcast. | ||
| I never have. | ||
| This podcast sort of... | ||
| Kind of found itself pretty organically. | ||
| And that just, you know, I don't know how it happened. | ||
| It just sort of happened. | ||
| Do you feel that from your days on Fear Factor to now, that you've had several stages of reimagining your image or maybe the people, you've exposed yourself in different platforms so people learned more about who you are. | ||
| Because when I used to see you on Fear Factor, I would have never guessed that you would fucking get in an isolation tank and take four grams of mushrooms and think about, you know, all of us having a collective conscious or something. | ||
| But then the more I learned about you through YouTube, because you were on YouTube real early, and I would just see these videos and be like, dude, this dude is dope. | ||
| And he's into like some cerebral shit. | ||
| And do you feel like this has helped people understand you better as a person? | ||
| Well, tell me, explain me better. | ||
| I mean, everyone loves to pigeonhole. | ||
| And if I didn't know me, I would certainly pigeonhole me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| Yeah, that happens. | ||
| Fucking meathead douchebag making people eat bugs. | ||
| I wouldn't want to listen to me talk about anything philosophical or anything that I think of, but... | ||
| One of the things about doing something like a Fear Factor where you gain financial freedom is you also gain the freedom to speak your mind because you're not worried about the repercussions. | ||
| I always had stand-up comedy and I made money on Fear Factor and then I've always had the UFC. I don't have to worry about speaking my mind and that has allowed me to have some freedom and then doing a podcast allowed me to have a platform where I get to express myself. | ||
| People fucking, whatever weirdness No one's perfect. | ||
| Everyone has flaws. | ||
| We change from day to day depending upon our stress level and what emotional shit we're dealing with, our personal life, our business life, or what have you. | ||
| We vary. | ||
| We all have a lot of variation in our behavior. | ||
| But when you talk to someone or you hear someone talk for hours and hours and hours and hours over the course of X amount of years, you get an idea of who the fuck they are. | ||
| You really do. | ||
| You really do get... | ||
| They can't hide. | ||
| You can't hide three hours a day every fucking day. | ||
| You're going to expose yourself. | ||
| And in that, I think there's never been a vehicle ever that's allowed people to get to know people like they can off of the internet, like they can from podcasts. | ||
| It's never existed. | ||
| And before, artists used to be almost... | ||
| Flawless. | ||
| You couldn't see their flaws and people gravitated towards that. | ||
| And now it's almost like people are more drawn towards people that do have flaws that they sometimes disagree with. | ||
| It's like an elevated version of what a rock star used to be because a rock star used to be this ethereal, creative, sexual being that there could do no wrong. | ||
| But I think that we elevated beyond that and now people want to know that This motherfucker might say some shit that I'm going to disagree with sooner. | ||
| Like Louie, how he can't stop eating and he's chubby and a little out of shape. | ||
| And balding. | ||
| But that's what people gravitate towards now. | ||
| It's like the anti-image. | ||
| And that's fucking amazing to me. | ||
| That's what I love about all this shit. | ||
| Is that we're going above and beyond what people treat as... | ||
|
unidentified
|
people worship or idolize. | |
| We're taking it to a different level and connecting on a much more intimate and personal level. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| That's a really good point. | ||
| I think the idolization and the rock star analogy is perfect because we always thought they could do no wrong. | ||
| They are so perfect. | ||
| And we always thought like, oh my God, you're starstruck when you meet them. | ||
| I can't, I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy. | ||
| And then you realize somewhere along the line that that's just a person. | ||
| And when you are exposed to all a person's flaws and ups and downs, and you realize there's a very empowering thing to other people about, I love talking about when I was a loser. | ||
| I think it's really important. | ||
| I talk about like all the times I was a pussy or scared or whatever, Didn't have any courage or had social anxiety or just really had no self-esteem. | ||
| I think it's super important to talk about those times so that people can realize like, oh, this isn't a guy who was successful always and always been confident and always, he's different than me. | ||
| I can't relate to that kind of thinking. | ||
| No, I used to get nervous talking to the bank teller. | ||
| I'd get tongue-tied going to the bank, especially when I was broke and I was depositing a $50 check or something like that. | ||
| I'd get nervous, like legitimately nervous. | ||
| Yeah, no, I think that that's maybe one of the things is as a rap artist, people have connected to my shit because I all talk about, you know, my insecurities or I'll become vulnerable. | ||
| And I'm a rapper when that's not supposed to happen in rap music. | ||
| But you're a white rapper. | ||
| Yeah, that too. | ||
| You got a little more flexibility there. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Yeah, I think it's beautiful. | ||
| It's again, like everything else. | ||
| It's sort of exposing things in a way that's never been possible before. | ||
| Oh, this is the Charlie Sheen one. | ||
| What is the Charlie Sheen one? | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is the best drug known to man. | |
| Check it out, I'm Charlie Sheen, got cocaine jaw. | ||
| Fuck Brie Olsen, did the whole thing raw. | ||
| I get two million every episode, it's modest for my pay. | ||
| I got five breathing fists and Adonis DNA. Fuck AA, fuck anybody with cancer. | ||
| Fuck porn stars, fuck dancers. | ||
| You call me an addict and I'll just smile, dream on. | ||
| Punk bitch, I'm the real Ricky Wilde thing wrong. | ||
| My line's polar. | ||
| It's the ninth inning, you're bipolar. | ||
| I win here and I win there. | ||
| I gotta get that guy. | ||
| Especially now that he's sort of like leveled out. | ||
| I saw him on Dr. Oz the other day. | ||
| It might be time. | ||
| Fuck Dr. Oz. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| Dr. Oz was going to have me on his show because his people enjoyed my pancake wrap. | ||
| I also did a Chick-fil-A wrap. | ||
| When Chick-fil-A had that whole anti-gay thing, whatever, I did a wrap video where I remade a Chick-fil-A sandwich and used the recipe so people didn't have to go to Chick-fil-A and support their anti-gay causes. | ||
| So they hit me up and they were like, we love your food wraps. | ||
| We would love to have you on here. | ||
| To make like a strawberry banana smoothie or something healthy and promote healthy eating and do like a cool fast wrap and, you know, we'll fly you out. | ||
| You'll do it for free because it's great exposure and you'll love it and you're excited about this. | ||
| And I'm like, okay, yeah, that's great. | ||
| So we book all this travel and get ready to do this and then they cancel it because of text from Bennett. | ||
| And because they were just like, we don't want to be affiliated with that. | ||
| Well, explain text from Bennett. | ||
| Because text from Bennett is fucking hilarious. | ||
| Why do they have a problem with text from Bennett? | ||
| And I'm quoted on your book cover, right? | ||
| Yeah, it just says hilarious. | ||
| Perfect. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| That's what I said. | ||
| I just said it again. | ||
| Explain text from Bennett to people. | ||
| Text from Bennett is a blog about my cousin who is a 17-year-old crip. | ||
| Wigger crip that's illiterate that sends me text messages that are accidentally genius. | ||
| And it's a real dude. | ||
| It's a real dude. | ||
| I wasn't even sure if it was a real dude. | ||
| Here's the thing about Text from Bennett. | ||
| Oh, that's Mercedes. | ||
| That's his girlfriend. | ||
| Bennett just broke my Drake CD. Can you bring me another copy? | ||
| He says Drake color coordinates his outfit to match his bowl of Froot Loops. | ||
| That's his girlfriend. | ||
| Pull up Bennett himself. | ||
| I hate my girlfriend, Mercedes. | ||
| These are all Drake. | ||
| Keep going. | ||
| I'll tell you. | ||
| Oh, this is a... | ||
| Keep going. | ||
| We'll find a good one. | ||
| Okay, well, listen. | ||
| The point is, your cousin, your cousin Bennett? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Does he get a piece of all this? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He does? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| How do you, like, what do you do with him? | ||
| Do you get him fucked up on Mad Dog 2020? | ||
| Tell him, hey, why don't you send me a text, bitch? | ||
| We worked it out for my aunt, his mother. | ||
| I take care of his aunt instead of him. | ||
| Oh, he worked it out with you that way? | ||
| Yeah, I worked it out with him that way. | ||
| Oh, it was your call? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he was willing to do that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| He didn't have a choice. | ||
| Because here's the deal. | ||
| I said, here, I'm going to write a book about this blog that has blown up unbeknownst to you. | ||
| That's a real book. | ||
| So I'm going to write... | ||
| Well, this is a real book. | ||
| It came out on Tuesday. | ||
| It's a novel. | ||
| Yeah, it's a fucking novel. | ||
| And Simon& Schuster released it. | ||
| It's in fucking bookstores right now. | ||
| It just came out. | ||
| And I got to... | ||
| Tell the recount of, recount the summer where they came to live with me. | ||
| And a network, which I can't say, has expressed serious interest into optioning it. | ||
| How gross is that statement? | ||
| You just went Hollywood on us. | ||
| I didn't mean to go on. | ||
| A network has expressed serious interest in optioning it. | ||
| I'm sorry, I'm sorry. | ||
| We're back in that Kevin Bacon movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Goddammit. | |
| Did you ever see that Kevin Bacon movie about, what was that movie called? | ||
| It's a great fucking movie. | ||
| Flatliners is a good movie. | ||
| No, no, that's not it. | ||
| It's a Kevin Bacon movie about Hollywood. | ||
| What is it called? | ||
| LA Confidential. | ||
| Don't be stupid. | ||
| Just try to find it. | ||
| Kevin Bacon movie about Hollywood. | ||
| Yeah, you should use two hands because I am and I can do it quicker than you. | ||
| Yeah, but I have a left hand on changing cameras. | ||
| Oh, you can stop that for a moment. | ||
| I can't find the name of it, but it was a really good movie. | ||
| And it's the movie where Terry Hatcher looked the hottest. | ||
| Terry Hatcher was so ridiculously hot back then that a girl that I was dating actually got mad that I said she was hot, which I always find to be... | ||
| The big picture? | ||
| Yes, the big picture. | ||
| How am I supposed to know that? | ||
| It's a great movie. | ||
| It's a great movie about Hollywood, about how it's all... | ||
| And they would say that. | ||
| Strong interest in optioning. | ||
| I didn't mean it like that. | ||
| It's like, you're a director. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Mike, our waiter, is a director too, aren't you, Mike? | ||
| And when he applies for a job as a server... | ||
| At a restaurant. | ||
| It's like the idea is that everybody's trying to, you know, make it in show business. | ||
| But Terry Hatcher was so hot in that And someone said, how hot was this chick? | ||
| I go from a 1 to 10, 10 being Terry Hatcher in that movie. | ||
| And what is it? | ||
| A big picture? | ||
| I go, that's about as hot as a human being has ever been. | ||
| And my girlfriend goes, fuck you, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| I'm like, whoa. | ||
| You want to pretend you're hotter than Terry Hatcher? | ||
| Go right ahead. | ||
| You know? | ||
| So, in the book. | ||
| Get mad at me. | ||
| She actually got mad at me. | ||
| It's like, wow, this one's not going to last. | ||
| The book is basically, it's about my cousin and his illiterate text messages, but it goes above and beyond that. | ||
| Hard-working Kansas City rapper Matt Riesel has a problem, and his name is Bennett. | ||
| Oh God, who wrote that? | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| I didn't write that. | ||
| You should have approval of all that shit, dude. | ||
| Yeah, I wish I did. | ||
| Those crackheads, they get a hold of it and confuse the shit out of everything. | ||
| All good reviews, too. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| Hey, that was quick. | ||
| There's a Twitter handle for it, too, right? | ||
| Is it text from Bennett? | ||
| Yeah, it's text from with no O. Are you still up on that? | ||
| The Twitter, the thing that is, it's big on Tumblr. | ||
| Yeah, text from Bennett. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How come there's no O? Not enough characters. | |
| What? | ||
| Yeah, Twitter wouldn't allow it. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| It's way bigger on, I don't want to do a humble brag again. | ||
| Too late, bitch. | ||
| It has a bigger presence on Tumblr because it's just pictures of the text messages. | ||
| I can't have a hard time filing here. | ||
| Oh, Tex S, the S from Bennett. | ||
| That's what fucked it up. | ||
| Tex from Bennett, right? | ||
| Yeah, Tex from Bennett. | ||
| Oh, I'm following it. | ||
| Of course I am. | ||
| Yeah, these are funny, man. | ||
| They're really funny. | ||
| I didn't know that it was a real guy. | ||
| I thought you were just bullshitting. | ||
| First, I thought this Bennett guy was like a real guy. | ||
| And then I thought it was, oh, it's a character that someone created. | ||
| And then to hear you say that it's actually your cousin. | ||
| What if your cousin dies? | ||
| Oh, he will at some point. | ||
| It's like shit my dad says. | ||
| You gotta keep your dad alive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know? | |
| In order to keep that empire going. | ||
| Yeah, I think that it's gonna be done now because he knows about it and only text messages me to ask if any girls have hit me up to have sex with him. | ||
| He wants to get groupies. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| It's probably done. | ||
| This book is kind of exiting that and we're gonna see if there's other platforms I can put it on, but... | ||
| It's pretty much done. | ||
| Well, that's awesome that you did the first thing, all you. | ||
| That's going to be most likely the best representation of this is what you just did in this book. | ||
| So if anybody wants to buy it, text. | ||
| It's Simon& Schuster. | ||
| Text from Bennett. | ||
| It's available on Amazon. | ||
| Do you have an audio version of it? | ||
| An audible? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, man. | |
| I'm hoping that we get to do that. | ||
| Do you think that your cousin would read it? | ||
| That would be amazing. | ||
| Fingers crossed. | ||
| That would be the shit. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That would be so good. | ||
| I think it would be bigger than this. | ||
| I think it would be hilarious. | ||
| It would be the best. | ||
| If you could actually just only get him to read off all the text and then you do all the stuff in between. | ||
| That would be awesome. | ||
| Just give him a day's work. | ||
| Sit down in a studio. | ||
| I would love that. | ||
| Get him fucked up. | ||
| Get him an Xbox or something. | ||
| No, you don't want to distract him. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Oh, as a gift? | ||
| No, you gotta pay him. | ||
| He did a jiu-jitsu class once. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How does a methed out 16-year-old handle jiu-jitsu? | ||
| He puked. | ||
| Yeah, boy. | ||
| That's the thing, man. | ||
| Meth heads, they have zero cardio. | ||
| They just can't hang out. | ||
| Yeah, even if they're on meth, it gets them. | ||
| Have you ever seen someone like a guy who thinks he's in shape and then they go to jiu-jitsu class and you watch? | ||
| Yeah, it happens all the time. | ||
| It's amazing, isn't it? | ||
| It happens all the time. | ||
| That's sometimes me if I'm on the road for too long. | ||
| I'm like, oh, back in jiu-jitsu and then I get out there and my endurance is like... | ||
| Like, you know, 30% what it was. | ||
| Yeah, it sucks. | ||
| Get yourself some Shroom Tech Sports, son. | ||
| Power you up. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| I'll give you some before we leave. | ||
| This podcast is basically over, but you're awesome. | ||
| You are too, man. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| And your videos are awesome. | ||
| I appreciate that. | ||
| I'm so happy that guys like you exist, that you've figured out a way to do this, that you've put it all out there, you've got a great message, you're a cool motherfucker, and much love and much success. | ||
| Much love and much respect, man. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Follow him. | ||
| Follow him on Twitter. | ||
| MacLethal on Twitter. | ||
| And text FRMBennett is the information that you can get if you want to read the text. | ||
| If you want to buy the book, it's available on Simon& Schuster. | ||
| And whenever this TV show thing manifests itself, we'll have you back, man. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| We'll promote the fuck out of that as well. | ||
| Alright, thank you everybody for tuning in. | ||
| Thanks to Squarespace.com. | ||
| Use the code word Joe and the number 9. Altogether, Joe9. | ||
| And save yourself 20% for a limited time offer. | ||
| Thanks to Onnit.com. | ||
| Use the code We'll be back tomorrow with the great and talented Duncan Trussell. | ||
| And then Thursday with the wonderful and beautiful David Cho. | ||
| So we got a fat week, you fucking freaks. | ||
| Next week we got Tom Segura. | ||
| We're going to get on Matt Fultron. | ||
| We're going to expose the world to some new bad motherfuckers that are on the rise. | ||
| And much love. | ||
| Much love to everybody. | ||
| Thank you everybody who came out to the Ontario Improv. | ||
| Thank you everybody on Twitter and Facebook and all that shit. | ||
| And just... | ||
| Keep pushing out that love, folks. | ||
| Oh, can I do one more thing? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I have a Q&A at 4.30 at some fucking bookstore in LA. Oh, beautiful. | ||
| Where is it? | ||
| I'll find out. | ||
| You gotta tell people. | ||
| And I have a show tonight at Whiskey A Go-Go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Oh, nice. | ||
| Madness! | ||
| Tonight? | ||
| Tonight. | ||
| What time? | ||
| Probably like 9, 9 o'clock. | ||
| We might go. | ||
| I might go. | ||
| Let me know, man. | ||
| Let me find out what the fuck I have to do tonight. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| Shit just got crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I just booked the Ontario Improv. | ||
| I'm starting to do... | ||
| One of the things that happened with doing this TV show, I haven't been doing as much stand-up as I should, and I had one rusty set this weekend, Saturday Night Late Show. | ||
| Book Soup! | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Book Soup is what the club is? | ||
| No, that's the bookstore. | ||
| Where's it at? | ||
| Where's it at, Bradley? | ||
| Hold on, I'll find out. | ||
| Book Soup LA? It's coming. | ||
| Yeah, it's Book Soup. | ||
| I'm going there right now doing a Q&A and signing books. | ||
| It's on 8818 Sunset Boulevard, West Hollywood, California. | ||
| And the number's 310-659-3110 if you want to call them and say nice things. | ||
| Berate me. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| What the fuck are you going to do? | ||
| So anyway, the Ontario Improv. | ||
| I just booked it because I'm trying to do way more stand-up now. | ||
| I had a great fucking time in Brea. | ||
| Every show except the late show Saturday night was a little slippery. | ||
| So if you went to that show, my apologies. | ||
| I'm trying about a bunch of new shit. | ||
| Sometimes it gets tangled up. | ||
| But I just booked Ontario Improv October 4th, 5th, and 6th for the weekend. | ||
| Tommy Segura is going to be with me on the 4th and the 5th and then the 6th. | ||
| I don't know who I'm going to have to book. | ||
| So it's pretty last minute. | ||
| So Ontario Improv. | ||
| It's all on my Twitter, which is Joe Rogan. | ||
| And we'll see you guys tomorrow with Duncan Trussell. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| A big E and a hug and a kiss to y'all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mwah! |
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