Speaker | Time | Text |
---|---|---|
Want me to introduce you? | ||
Ladies and gentlemen, The Great Everlast. | ||
The Great Everlast | ||
She kissed me slowly, she healed me softly. | ||
unidentified
|
Got too close, she backed up off me. | |
Let me stone cold sword, just like black coffee. | ||
Just like black coffee She told me that she'd always been thinking of me Said she bought me no, she always would love me She said she never put no one else above me | ||
Self-harm monkey She's like a junkie Just like a junkie It was April 25th, was up around 80 | ||
And a spot out in the bar where the grass was shady *music* Said her mom's from Jamaica, said her father's from Haiti And she's such a pretty lady Yeah, she's such a lady She smelled like flowers, | ||
she tastes like toffee She kissed me slowly, she held me softly Got too close and she backed up off me. | ||
Then the stone goes over to like black coffee. | ||
unidentified
|
Did like black coffee. | |
No sugar, no cream. | ||
Didn't like black coffee. | ||
Maybe it's all just a dream. | ||
Do you like black coffee? | ||
unidentified
|
Powerful Everlast. | |
Fuck yeah. | ||
Yes, sir. | ||
That's how it started, dude. | ||
Can you hear me? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Okay. | ||
Can you hear me? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Just everything's a little off because we're adjusted for music. | ||
Just want to make sure everything's cool. | ||
Notice we did no commercials. | ||
Fuck it. | ||
What kind of shirt are you wearing today, Joe? | ||
This is an Onnit shirt. | ||
This podcast is sponsored by Onnit.com. | ||
Go to Onnit.com. | ||
Get yourself an orangutan. | ||
Kettlebell. | ||
Those are the new ones. | ||
And there's five dollars for each one of them. | ||
It goes to a foundation to help save orangutans. | ||
Apparently orangutans are in trouble. | ||
So we decided that since we're buying these or selling these primal bells, they're based on primates. | ||
We're going to do some other ones. | ||
I don't want to tell you what the other things are, but they're not real-life animals. | ||
But the ones that we're doing right now are all chimps, gorillas, and orangutans. | ||
And orangutans are in trouble. | ||
And so, I guess they are. | ||
I mean, supposedly they're endangered. | ||
Oh, I thought you meant the kettlebell is in trouble. | ||
No, no, no. | ||
They're endangered. | ||
We still have the 1.5 pood thing on it, and I need to change that. | ||
After we talked about it yesterday, I'm going to call Aubrey about that shit today. | ||
It should say at least, under it, it should say 35 pounds, 50 pounds. | ||
You're like, what the fuck's a pood? | ||
Especially if you're like a little chick, but you really like gorillas. | ||
And you're like, I'm going to get one of them two poods. | ||
That shit's heavy as fuck. | ||
You don't want to be swinging that around. | ||
Go to onnit.com, use the code word ROGAN, and save 10% off any and all supplements that we're selling. | ||
And again, $5 off of each orangutan kettlebell. | ||
It goes to help save orangutans. | ||
I'm down with saving chimpanzees, orangutans. | ||
I'm down with all that. | ||
I'm down with all that, man. | ||
We're also sponsored by LegalZoom. | ||
LegalZoom is a website that allows you to do a lot of things you would normally have to go to a lawyer for. | ||
And you can do it all from your own computer. | ||
Shit like Incorporate, form an LLC. You can actually get divorced. | ||
We're trying to get Uncle Creepy divorced through LegalZoom. | ||
Ian McCall, the MMA fighter, was on the show. | ||
He's trying to get LegalZoom to do his divorce. | ||
I think they'll down. | ||
You've got to do it by yourself, essentially. | ||
You've got to go through the process. | ||
You have to fill out all the information. | ||
But then once you do that, if you get scrambled and you're like, oh shit, I'm freaking out, I don't think this is legal... | ||
LegalZoom will hook you up with an attorney. | ||
They'll connect you with an independent attorney if you need additional guidance. | ||
So they want to emphasize that LegalZoom is not a law firm, but they provide self-help service At your specific direction. | ||
Meaning they let you understand and they talk you through the process of creating legal documents like wills or LLCs or things along those lines. | ||
And even divorces. | ||
Use the code and word ROGAN and save yourself some money. | ||
Everlast is here, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
Am I wrong thinking Robert Shapiro started that or was he just an early spokesman for it? | ||
Is that true? | ||
I don't know. | ||
Let's look that up. | ||
I have this sense that either he was an early spokesman or he might have started it. | ||
Wow. | ||
Well, that was a smart move. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, but that's one of those things where you go, ooh. | ||
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
Hmm. | ||
Do I want to be connected with Homeboy? | ||
unidentified
|
What does Mark Furman do these days? | |
That'd be funny to find out where people like that are, you know, like notorious people are. | ||
Yeah, let's see. | ||
It says jump to legal Zoom here. | ||
I guess he had something to do with it. | ||
Shapiro's one of the co-founders of LegalZone. | ||
I thought so, yeah. | ||
Wow, look at Everlast, deep inside the system, understanding all the behind-the-scenes shit. | ||
I just haven't smoked up that part of the brain yet, dawg, that's all. | ||
That's all. | ||
There's still a little Shapiro knowledge left there somehow. | ||
Eat some fresh fruits and vegetables. | ||
I'm still living like the car chase is going on, like, go OJ, go OJ. I'm living in the 90s, brother. | ||
Hit the music. | ||
I already did. | ||
Is that it? | ||
So it's officially started? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Okay, good enough. | ||
We don't need all the music. | ||
Fuck, we're gonna have plenty of music in this podcast. | ||
We don't really need the opening song. | ||
Yeah, that OJ thing is one of the weirdest times in my life because I was a very young man and I was still really delusional about the way the world worked. | ||
I really had no idea... | ||
I didn't know to the extent of corruption and craziness and the fucking dispute between... | ||
When Rodney King happened and I saw how strong the hate for police is and the anger that led to the rioting, I was like, who the fuck saw that coming? | ||
I was so delusional. | ||
I had such little contact with that world that I had no idea what the disparity was and how these people felt about About police brutality and things like that. | ||
Do you see that video of them beating the shit out of that dude with sticks? | ||
And then they got off, and everybody's like, whoa, wait a minute. | ||
You're like, what? | ||
How did... | ||
What's going... | ||
What happened here, exactly? | ||
Okay, he was on what? | ||
Okay, so he's on... | ||
He's on, like, angel dust, so he doesn't feel it. | ||
Is that what's happening here? | ||
Do they have something they can... | ||
Can they hold on to him? | ||
Like, can you... | ||
Five guys, can't they wrestle this dude to the ground? | ||
Like, it seems like... | ||
It seems like they're having a good time beating the shit out of him. | ||
Well, I mean, that's the myth of, like... | ||
Or not the myth, but the grand... | ||
Yeah, Angel Dust, that's the one thing they say. | ||
People are broken out of handcuffs. | ||
Yeah. | ||
If that's the case, people need to revisit that one particular issue. | ||
Because Angel Dust, I had a friend who had his finger bitten off. | ||
Man, it wasn't. | ||
That was just the straw, dude. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
That was just the straw. | ||
The camel's back was damn near snapped at that point. | ||
I was living on that side of the world. | ||
I was like part of Ice Thieves, Ryan Stinn, the kid. | ||
I was running through. | ||
unidentified
|
That's so weird. | |
I knew the hatred for the police was... | ||
That was, like, I was, you know, normal. | ||
unidentified
|
What was it like rolling around with those guys? | |
You know what the thing was? | ||
It's like, in a weird way, I was just so oblivious to it that I, you know, because I was treated as, you know, like, I was a member of the crew. | ||
I was already, like, a rap kid, and it was like, you know, I... As long as I showed up and had the balls to be somewhere, I felt like I was cool there. | ||
I wasn't into gangbanging or anything. | ||
I was never flagging anywhere I was. | ||
And I knew a few key people that would be like, oh yeah, he knows that dude, alright. | ||
Dude, I was a huge Ice-T fan. | ||
I used to get told, like, they usually, by, like, you know, cats like Ice would say things like, you know, yeah, man, you know, you're white, man. | ||
Everybody here either thinks you're crazy for being here or you're a cop. | ||
unidentified
|
So, you're good, so. | |
That was one, yeah, well, you know what, man, his best shit, well, I think Colors is one of his best songs ever. | ||
That is one of the best, like, theme songs for a movie. | ||
Ever. | ||
Representative of what was going on in that movie. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
That song just fucking nailed it. | ||
That was right place, right time, right dude. | ||
Whoever picked him for that, it was the right... | ||
Everybody made the right decision. | ||
It's the rap version of Live and Let Die. | ||
That's a good song. | ||
I mean, Live and Let Die is a theme song for a movie, right? | ||
But it's a badass fucking song. | ||
I mean... | ||
unidentified
|
Was that his original purpose? | |
Was that his original purpose? | ||
It was a theme for a movie? | ||
I believe so. | ||
I believe Paul McCartney made it for the movie. | ||
Unless it was just a fucking coincidence that he had a song called Live and Let Die and there was a 007 movie. | ||
Let's see. | ||
Okay, let's find out. | ||
We need to find out. | ||
Paul McCartney. | ||
Weird. | ||
Are you a fan of Paul McCartney? | ||
I mean, as a songwriter, how could you not be? | ||
Right. | ||
I mean, the guy's written a lot of amazing songs. | ||
You aspire to write that many well-known songs. | ||
He was a beast. | ||
You know, I mean, I think there's like, because he seemed like such a nice guy. | ||
I think like some more hardcore people don't give that guy the credit he deserves. | ||
Like for me, like if you look at the Beatles, you break them down. | ||
It's like John Lennon wrote the more ethereal kind of weirdo kind of songs or like more government. | ||
Related, protest-y kind of stuff. | ||
Paul McCartney wrote the stuff about love and life and everyday things, you know what I mean? | ||
And, like, turned them into poetry kind of thing. | ||
You know, that's... | ||
You know, I think they're... | ||
I love them both in different ways. | ||
Me too. | ||
I'm perfectly sad. | ||
He was commissioned specifically for this movie. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
And credited to McCartney and his wife, Linda, reunited the former Beatles producer, George Martin, who both produced a song and arranged the orchestra break. | ||
It was all done for that movie. | ||
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
This is one of the most successful movie-themed songs ever. | ||
Because it was a real song. | ||
Yeah, and then Guns N' Roses. | ||
We cut it and sold 10 million records. | ||
Living that time. | ||
I mean, that's a fucking badass song for your theme song. | ||
Your movie's making $100 million no matter what, just with that song on it. | ||
You know, it can't go wrong. | ||
And then Band on the Run, that's like, that's a crazy song. | ||
That's like two songs in one, you know? | ||
Like, you listen to the beginning of it, and then when the rain exploded with a mighty crash as we fell into the sun... | ||
God damn, Paul McCartney. | ||
I mean, that's a beautiful fucking song. | ||
It's a work of art. | ||
And good drugs. | ||
Oh, fuck yeah. | ||
He'd seen everything there is to see. | ||
He saw the full mandala. | ||
He saw that happen. | ||
As he fell into the sun, he saw that happen. | ||
Well, the rain exploded with a mighty crash as we fell into the sun. | ||
Damn. | ||
unidentified
|
You know, he had to have seen all that. | |
That's some old, I can hear the colors. | ||
I can hear the colors, man. | ||
Yeah, you can't write something like that unless you've seen something like that. | ||
You can't fake that lyric. | ||
The rain exploded with a mighty crash as we fell into the sun. | ||
What the fuck? | ||
The first one said to the second one there, I hope you're having fun. | ||
That is as psychedelic as a lyric ever can get without being ponderous. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Without being blatantly obvious. | ||
You're trying to be trippy. | ||
That is just... | ||
That's a perfect lyric. | ||
Well, the rain exploded with a mighty crash as we fell into the sun. | ||
And the first one said to the second one there, I hope you're having fun. | ||
unidentified
|
What kind of shit are you on, son? | |
Acid. | ||
For real. | ||
It has to be, right? | ||
Heavy doses of it. | ||
It's such a trippy lyric. | ||
That band was so instrumental in opening people's minds to the ideas of altered states of consciousness because they were so into meditation and they were always hanging out with weird gurus and shit. | ||
They were freaky dudes, man. | ||
And they started off like these really sweet guys from England with cute haircuts making girls scream and then somewhere along they morphed into this spiritual injection machine. | ||
If you go to the White Album, if you became a fan of the Beatles, you became a fan of very strange alternate ways of thinking. | ||
At the time, if you were a fan morphing with them, you had to be pretty open-minded. | ||
Yeah, you know... | ||
But luckily, the music was just really good, so it helped a lot. | ||
Well, I think that to be that good, you have to be crazy. | ||
You can say some really, really stupid shit on a bed of music that sounds good, and that proof is all around us today. | ||
Yeah. | ||
All around us. | ||
All around us. | ||
Always will be. | ||
But I think to be that good, you have to get crazy. | ||
And I think they got crazy. | ||
They just went everywhere. | ||
They just went with it. | ||
And there's no way, you know, you can't. | ||
That's not a regular dude. | ||
A regular dude's not going to make that song. | ||
It's literally not possible. | ||
Like, the mind does not work that way. | ||
You've got to be some crazy dude out there wearing robes, hanging out with dudes in Tibet. | ||
For real. | ||
You've got to really be doing it. | ||
unidentified
|
Bang, bang. | |
Yeah. | ||
And be a perfectionist. | ||
You gotta have gurus and shit, Indian dudes with white beards, and they tell you freaky shit. | ||
Also, the cats didn't have the benefits of computer technology, man. | ||
They had to be good at all of the shit they were doing. | ||
Yeah, totally true. | ||
Now I do, there's a guy who grabbed his guitar completely out of tune, like strum it on it a little bit, and literally in the box make it sound like he was doing something. | ||
Do you think that that cheapens music, or does it just give an artist more tools? | ||
Um... | ||
Is it obvious when it cheapens it? | ||
I think it could do either. | ||
It's a double-edged sword. | ||
But when it's just used to blatantly suck the light. | ||
We talk about something like, we'll listen to old records that were sampled and made into hip-hop records. | ||
Before we go on, I like to listen to a lot of old music when we play. | ||
So, we'll listen to the old versions of stuff, and then we'll put on new versions. | ||
And new versions, even though they're sampled or using pieces of that old version, they don't have the grease because it's not alive. | ||
There's not five guys locking up, playing it. | ||
It's like a machine, here's a piece, piece, piece, and then we repeat that piece, piece, piece, and then we repeat that piece, piece, piece. | ||
It sucks the life out of things sometimes, you know what I mean? | ||
It's good for club music, if you're just making drum machine club music, or hip-hop. | ||
It sounds good in clubs, but it doesn't have no grease. | ||
The first time I ever saw a rapper in a club was in Mexico. | ||
I saw Ludacris perform in Mexico. | ||
He was like an hour late. | ||
Oh, that's early. | ||
That's early for a rapper. | ||
Everybody's waiting for the show to start. | ||
But damn, man, when he did it, and it was like complete short attention span rap. | ||
He never really finished a rap. | ||
He just went from one rap to the other and shortened the songs up. | ||
And I was like, that's kind of crazy. | ||
I'm like, how often do they do that? | ||
And my friend was like, they always do that at hip hop shows. | ||
And I go, why? | ||
And he goes, they just don't want to give anybody any breaks. | ||
No chance to think that things are calming down. | ||
No chance to just go, go, go. | ||
It's a different environment than playing a record. | ||
Plus, you never know when you play clubs when it's just all going to go wrong anyways. | ||
You want to get the bulk of your set in so you know you're getting paid. | ||
Well, is that the case in rap shows in general? | ||
No, it's just like that's the energy of a rap show. | ||
It's different. | ||
Unless, you know, you've got rappers and certain cats that use bands now, but it's like when you go and you see a show that has a band, there's things to see and watch and wonder about and like, wow, that sound and these guys are all doing crazy things. | ||
But when it's like just a DJ and a rapper, that can get boring real quick just watching it. | ||
So yeah, they just got to hit you and hit you and hit you and hit you. | ||
It's medley time is really what it is. | ||
It's all about the medley. | ||
In hip-hop, and plus it's like a ringtone generation, so most of them only know the song up until the ringtone cuts off. | ||
Wow. | ||
unidentified
|
What does that say about us? | |
I'm serious. | ||
But it's true. | ||
unidentified
|
You get about a minute and a half or something, I think, or a minute of a ringtone. | |
That's basically what they... | ||
I occasionally DJ a club here and there in Vegas when they throw out a couple dollars, and I say I'm bored enough because I think it's fun. | ||
But I don't think I ever get out of a first verse of a record. | ||
Well, very rarely, and it's usually a classic, like Dr. Dre, next episode or something like that, or jump around, or not to toot my horn. | ||
I'm just saying, it's usually a classic record like that you can get away with playing a few verses of. | ||
Otherwise, it's just kind of like one hook, one verse, one hook, let's get out and get to the next thing because that's the dance. | ||
They want to dance. | ||
They want to move. | ||
They want to just always be like, oh, they always want to be like, the next song came on, yeah. | ||
Wow. | ||
The party's got to be beginning like every five minutes. | ||
So it's different than doing your songs just in a live session. | ||
You're doing a totally different kind of show. | ||
Yeah, you come see me do an acoustic show, I take my motherfucking sweet time about it, man. | ||
I might even start mumbling while I drink whiskey and wind up telling a story I never meant to tell in the first place or something, you know what I mean? | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
It's a different thing. | ||
What do you like better? | ||
Rap shows were fun. | ||
I did plenty of them, but I enjoy what I do. | ||
I like playing music. | ||
I like locking in with people and other musicians and us creating. | ||
They play my songs the way they should be played, but if you listen enough, different things happen every night, and we're all fitting in with different... | ||
Without changing the song, there's things going on that I'll be like, oh, I saw what you did right there. | ||
Or we'll all just black out and zone in some other place. | ||
unidentified
|
It's transcendent. | |
It's the energy of the music. | ||
I like that a little bit better. | ||
Hip-hop, the energy is kind of a steady, heavily angry. | ||
Even when it's trying to be slowed down in love songs, they're heavily angry towards the women they're talking about. | ||
unidentified
|
As long as my bitches love me, bitches love me, bitches love me. | |
It's like, okay, I'm sitting here and I have that on in the car and I'm like, oh, this is a funny, cool song. | ||
I like it. | ||
It's cool. | ||
But when I think about it, it's like... | ||
If I would have sang that abroad, as long as my bitches love me, bitches. | ||
I don't know. | ||
Who knows? | ||
Maybe then I would sell 10 million records. | ||
I don't know. | ||
Maybe that should be my next effort. | ||
Maybe you're just too happy and successful. | ||
Maybe you need to tune in to pissed off people. | ||
I'm pretty pissed off. | ||
Yeah, that aggression of rap music is like, I mean, there's never been an art form where people bragged about killing people and killing the police and just running around making millions of dollars on cocaine. | ||
Didn't blues do that? | ||
A little bit of Johnny Cash. | ||
Punk rock, man. | ||
There was some punk rock shit that was pretty out there. | ||
That's true. | ||
Well, I was never exposed to that. | ||
I, for whatever reason, never had any desire to listen to any punk rock. | ||
I always, I mean, it's totally prejudiced, but I always associated everybody who was like a punk rock lover with misplaced anger, and I was like, I don't have time for this. | ||
I gotta get away from it. | ||
Like, for real, I've never listened. | ||
And it's totally ignorant, and I completely agree. | ||
I mean, like, admit it. | ||
You never listen to, like, The Clash or any of that kind of stuff? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, I guess. | |
Is that punk? | ||
Rock the Casbah? | ||
Is that punk? | ||
There's arguments that that's their most pop stuff. | ||
I just thought it was great music. | ||
It was. | ||
London Calling. | ||
Lots of songs like The Guns of Brixton and all kinds of stuff about... | ||
I mean, what is punk, though? | ||
I don't understand it. | ||
I just associated it with people with their hair all spiked up and looking to stomp around and shit. | ||
I feel like punk is like a DIY thing. | ||
It's like the sentiment, you're going to put that out there before you even know how to play. | ||
You're just like, hey, look, I want to do a song. | ||
I can't play like all those guitar gods back in the day. | ||
So instead, I'm going to just plug in, turn up, and I know two chords. | ||
Hey, here's a song. | ||
That's it. | ||
Is that really all punk is? | ||
That's all it is. | ||
So it's bullshit. | ||
It's bullshit with balls. | ||
Bullshit with balls. | ||
And, like, the mentality, you know? | ||
Because, like, they couldn't play as good. | ||
The purest American music. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Well, actually, you know, because it kind of started... | ||
Some people argue it started in England, but... | ||
Well, yeah. | ||
The attitude of bullshit with balls, yes. | ||
That's why it's so American. | ||
It's so beautiful. | ||
Is that American music? | ||
But a lot of people turn it into art, too. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Right. | ||
like you know i mean black flag which is produced henry rollins and all cats like that you know and you know i mean then there's you get there's the spectrum is wide too because there's people used to call gg allen that's like that's like shit on people shit that was just like he come in and throw himself through a glass window and take a shit on stage eat something throw his head open with a microphone Oh my god. | ||
What the fuck? | ||
It wasn't even about the music, but it was punk rock. | ||
You know, punk is like an umbrella. | ||
You know, it's like hip hop. | ||
You know, there's like art, punk art, punk fashion. | ||
So it's an expression, a rebellion, and admitting that you're or accepting and sort of being enthusiastic about the fact that you're rebelling against the system. | ||
I was from the Burbs, so I took it as a bunch of, like, angry Burbs kids that couldn't, like, do shit and express anything, so instead they just, like, you know, it was just, like, anger. | ||
Like what you said, misplaced anger, but it seeps into politics and shit like that. | ||
Right, right, right, right. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, punk is a weird thing. | ||
See, I wasn't really a part of punk as a... | ||
When it was happening, I learned about it later. | ||
I look at it from a standpoint of the bands, not the fans. | ||
There was a lot of smart bands, Fugazi and stuff like that. | ||
The whole DC scene. | ||
Bad Brains is responsible for half of the hardcore music. | ||
If you like hardcore bands, I'll guarantee you any of them somewhere. | ||
Not them, whoever influenced them was influenced by Bad Brains. | ||
Bad Brains was the first band to play fast. | ||
That fast punk sound. | ||
Black people invented that. | ||
Booker Play. | ||
Reggae-looking Rastafari dudes playing hardcore punk music. | ||
It was ill. | ||
Is Suicidal Tendencies, is that punk? | ||
Yes. | ||
Okay, well, I love those dudes. | ||
That song, Bring Me Down, You Can't Bring Me Down? | ||
God damn, is that a good workout song. | ||
There's good music. | ||
That's an aggressive fucking song. | ||
There's a ton of like just whatever, but there's some really good stuff out there. | ||
Punk rock music, old punk rock. | ||
Punk doesn't even exist anymore, really. | ||
You know, anything that calls us a punk now is kind of just like a marketing ploy. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Or trying to be what punk once was, in my opinion. | ||
Hmm. | ||
But if you're doing blues, are you trying to be what blues once was? | ||
Absolutely. | ||
Everybody is. | ||
Absolutely. | ||
So it's not just a form of expression? | ||
I mean, that's like saying, okay, if I try to make blues, am I really fucking like some Delta fucking cotton picker? | ||
Fucking no, I'm emulating something. | ||
Yeah, but you're a dude who's lived. | ||
But I'm just saying, it's like you got to, at the purest form of what that music and where it came from, it's like, no, I'm not that guy that invented, you know, I didn't invent that. | ||
I see what you're saying. | ||
It's a formula that was there long before me, and I'm just kind of using it to express myself, you know what I mean? | ||
Yeah, but it's still, you're doing blues. | ||
Punk, when it was happening, was an original thing. | ||
It hadn't been seen or done before. | ||
But why can't they still do punk? | ||
They do. | ||
I'm just saying. | ||
I ain't seen nothing that was, put it this way, I ain't seen nothing new punk rock. | ||
Right. | ||
Everything that calls itself punk rock is like kind of a retro version of what used to be punk rock. | ||
Right. | ||
But I'll tell you the most punk rock thing I've seen in a long, long fucking time. | ||
Lady Gaga's ass to give music awards? | ||
No, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
I watched a fucking documentary on those pussy riot chicks. | ||
Oh, those bitches are crazy. | ||
They are fucking gangsters. | ||
I love them. | ||
They are gangsters, man. | ||
In the courts and right in the face of the Russian government, them broads stood tall. | ||
I'm like, yo, whatever you want to feel about them, I think what they should, all that shit was just, you know, that's gangster. | ||
They said something, they did it, they stood for it, and they didn't even fold up. | ||
It's pretty gangster. | ||
And it was crazy. | ||
I was like, wow. | ||
You know, at a certain point in time, you have to realize that these things that you're calling churches are weird patterns of behavior that were established by people thousands of years ago. | ||
And they have literally nothing to do with God. | ||
If there is a God, without a doubt, it has nothing to do with the bizarre behavior of these people that are claiming to represent Him. | ||
And no one person can be represented by God or whatever the idea of God is better than you can. | ||
We're all supposedly in this together, and as soon as you have leaders and people who are in charge of organizations with very specific rules, you've missed the boat completely. | ||
You know, you're in some weird cultish sort of a thing. | ||
That's just what the fuck it is. | ||
You know, people don't want to say that, they don't want to believe that, but that's just what the fuck it is. | ||
You know, so when you limit people like that and you box them up like that, it's a dangerous thing. | ||
It's always gonna be a dangerous thing. | ||
It's always gonna be a dangerous thing to control people. | ||
Like, you can't. | ||
People gotta just be nice to each other. | ||
You can't be... | ||
Like, eventually we're gonna figure out these borders are bullshit. | ||
Eventually, we're going to look at all the borders all over the place and go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. | ||
Why can't we just go over there? | ||
Why can't anybody go wherever the fuck they want? | ||
Would that force everybody to even out the economic situation of the world if people could just completely travel freely? | ||
One of the reasons why you can have ghettos is because you can keep them there. | ||
If people could just go wherever the fuck they wanted to go... | ||
They would just go wherever the money is. | ||
People from Mexico would just start walking into America. | ||
And then you're going to have to deal with that. | ||
You're going to have to deal with the fact that you're connected to a third world country. | ||
And people from Canada are going to have our assholes sneaking into their borders. | ||
And they're going to go, okay, we've got to tighten down the fucking fences here. | ||
What's going on? | ||
We've got these crazy asshole Americans sleeping through. | ||
Canada's fences are pretty tight, buddy. | ||
They are right now. | ||
They are right now. | ||
But if they open it up... | ||
I caught a gun charge in 1992. I just started getting in again this year. | ||
What did you have to do to get in? | ||
Jump through some hoops. | ||
Pay some money. | ||
I had a friend who got pulled over for a gun, and it wasn't even illegal. | ||
He was legally in possession of a gun. | ||
And every time he goes to Canada, they pull him into that room, and they sit him down. | ||
They ask him 100 questions. | ||
They don't take kindly. | ||
But if you were the guy caught with 10 pounds of weed, they don't trip that hard, though. | ||
unidentified
|
Go ahead. | |
10 pounds! | ||
Yeah, go ahead up in. | ||
We're not worried about that. | ||
Can you even smoke that much weed before it goes bad? | ||
Sure. | ||
Can you? | ||
10 pounds of weed? | ||
Die trying. | ||
How many years is that of weed? | ||
That's a few years of weed, right? | ||
It's gotta be. | ||
Three weeks for rapping, man. | ||
It's gotta be unless you're just crazy. | ||
Joey Diaz could smoke a pound a year. | ||
More than that. | ||
I'm trying to figure. | ||
Yeah. | ||
How much is a pound? | ||
I'm thinking of like an ounce. | ||
16 ounces. | ||
And then I'm thinking of 16 ounces in a pound. | ||
That's not that much. | ||
That's 160 ounces. | ||
You could smoke that in a few months if you were going Joey Diaz style. | ||
I've never even held a pound yet. | ||
Neither have I. I don't want to be around a pound. | ||
If you're around a pound, you're around fat. | ||
Like an ounce nowadays would probably last me a couple months. | ||
Back in the day, it would have been about a week. | ||
Like to the head just for me. | ||
A pound? | ||
No, an ounce. | ||
Oh, Jesus. | ||
So it would have took me 160 weeks to smoke 10 pounds. | ||
I probably did that. | ||
I probably smoked 10 pounds in 160 weeks. | ||
That makes sense. | ||
52 weeks a year. | ||
I can do an ounce a month. | ||
Yeah, that totally makes sense. | ||
Wow, that's really brilliant calculations, actually. | ||
That sounds like some serious weed economics. | ||
You broke it down probably exactly. | ||
There's no exaggeration in that. | ||
There was no hyperbole. | ||
unidentified
|
No, because it was part of the money. | |
I was like, this week is $400 for the ounce of weed. | ||
That's every week. | ||
That was every week. | ||
That was like my loan shark almost thing. | ||
Because sometimes I'd go in and be like, give me three and I'll get you next week. | ||
You know, so... | ||
You had to be steady with you. | ||
Do you see the changes that are happening right now with weed? | ||
Well, we just did a thing in Seattle called Hemp Fest. | ||
And it is wide the fuck open up there, dawg. | ||
We went to a... | ||
What was it called? | ||
A dab bar? | ||
Yeah, a dab bar. | ||
Where they do the waxy bong hit shit. | ||
But it was like an open bar open. | ||
Like open to the public. | ||
Oh, they're so crazy. | ||
Is that a picture of it? | ||
Dude, it was like along the waterfront, a three mile long festival. | ||
Cops were handing out Doritos and shit. | ||
Oh yeah, my friend Voodoo Chicken told me about that. | ||
What is that? | ||
unidentified
|
It was sitting in the dressing room, about 50 joints. | |
Oh my god, that's a lot of pot. | ||
Hemp fest. | ||
Dude, you showed me a picture of a doorknob. | ||
That looks like a doorknob. | ||
Look at it. | ||
All those joints, it looks like a doorknob. | ||
That would be actually a cool doorknob if you take a photo of that and recreate it perfectly. | ||
It's a lot of fucking joints. | ||
Well, it's a big tin of joints, and it looks like a doorknob. | ||
It's sitting on a door. | ||
Yeah, that's my joint doorknob. | ||
The picture's unusual because there's a wooden door that looks like the table looks like a wooden door. | ||
So this box on it looks like a doorknob. | ||
It's a lot of goddamn joints. | ||
Yeah, I would get nervous. | ||
I'd run out of the room if you had that. | ||
I'd be like, that's too much. | ||
We're going to get busted for selling. | ||
That's like if you have more than a certain amount. | ||
They were just slinging weed. | ||
They give zero fucks up in Seattle. | ||
Seattle's a beautiful place. | ||
I love it up there. | ||
It's one of my favorite cities ever. | ||
They have to deal with some shit because of the stinky weather in the winter, but at least the roads don't really ice up. | ||
I think they're just cool with anything that's going to keep motherfuckers from jumping out windows and shit. | ||
Well, they're also really smart up there. | ||
It's a real smart city, like per capita. | ||
Very unusually smart. | ||
Very creative. | ||
Isn't it still one of the higher suicide rates? | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Just because of the weather and whatnot, right? | ||
Oh, without a doubt. | ||
Without a doubt. | ||
This does not make you happy. | ||
It's gray. | ||
A lot. | ||
Yeah. | ||
A lot. | ||
A lot. | ||
But that shit builds character. | ||
Yeah, it makes you depressed. | ||
It builds character. | ||
Drugs. | ||
Nah, not necessarily. | ||
It might make you just a little more expressive. | ||
I don't know. | ||
If you felt trapped in it, though, man. | ||
That's true. | ||
Guys like you and me, we could always be like, fuck this, I'm going to San Diego. | ||
Or I'm going to Hawaii. | ||
Going to Hawaii for a week. | ||
Yeah, I'm out. | ||
Yeah, you could do that. | ||
And people who live there, they say if you can schedule a vacation, you go in the winter. | ||
And you go somewhere where it's sunny, period. | ||
You don't do anything goofy. | ||
You don't go somewhere that's shittier than where you're at. | ||
You don't go somewhere cold. | ||
You go to the beach, bitch. | ||
That's what you do. | ||
I never thought of it that way. | ||
That would be cool to live in Seattle and then just get the fuck out of there. | ||
It would totally be cool. | ||
It'd be cool to live in Seattle, period. | ||
I think you'd deal with the rain because it's such a dope city. | ||
The folks are good up there, man. | ||
It's a very artistic city. | ||
It doesn't seem like a city that has a lot of chains. | ||
When you're driving through, you see a lot of individual restaurants and Individual stores. | ||
You see a lot of uniqueness to Seattle. | ||
You know, and I think that's one of the reasons why the music scene in Seattle. | ||
I mean, Jimi motherfucking Hendrix came from Seattle. | ||
Respect! | ||
Okay, you know? | ||
I mean, everybody knows Nirvana came from Seattle. | ||
But is it like that anymore? | ||
I don't know, but that's the environment that created those people. | ||
Yeah, definitely. | ||
You know what I'm saying? | ||
Like, there's an intensely creative environment that created Nirvana. | ||
I mean, that band was intensely creative. | ||
You know? | ||
That song, Rape Me? | ||
Like, holy shit. | ||
Like, that whole sub-pop records scene. | ||
They were pretty good. | ||
Okay, what kind of music were they? | ||
That was all that stuff. | ||
What would you call that? | ||
Grunge. | ||
They called it Grunge, but it was just rock and roll. | ||
I mean, they would have just called it rock and roll, I guarantee you. | ||
Or punk, post-punk, hardcore. | ||
They started off punk. | ||
They started out punk? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Wow. | ||
Yeah, they were fucking... | ||
Because there was a hardcore music movement. | ||
They called it hardcore after punk towards the end of it. | ||
I'll never forget how I found out about Nirvana. | ||
I was over at this dude's house that I used to buy stolen radios from. | ||
There was this one dude, if you needed a radio back then when I didn't understand karma, you know, you needed a radio from your car, you can get one from this kid who always had radios that he would just somehow or another get. | ||
And you didn't ask any questions, but you knew they were stolen. | ||
We were over his house and he was into music, this kid. | ||
He was just a bad kid. | ||
You know, whatever. | ||
Bad suburban kid. | ||
Not too bad. | ||
We went over his house and he goes, this is going to change music. | ||
And I said, what is it? | ||
He goes, it's called fucking Nirvana. | ||
And he starts playing it. | ||
And he goes, all those hair bands, those guys are fucked. | ||
And he played this shit. | ||
I was like, wow, you just nailed it. | ||
Like, this kid nailed it in his bedroom in Newton, Massachusetts. | ||
Like, right when the Nevermind came out. | ||
This kid nailed it. | ||
And he was just a radio thief. | ||
He was like, this is going to change. | ||
Those guys are fucked. | ||
It was that obvious, though. | ||
It was that obvious. | ||
Danny Boy played it for me first. | ||
And we were both like, his jaws dropped. | ||
There's only been a few times in musical history when someone hit some new level of something where you'd never seen it before. | ||
And when Nirvana came out, that was like, whoa. | ||
Undeniable talent. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know, just undeniable uniqueness. | ||
The power of their song. | ||
Song after song, different. | ||
Honest though. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Oh, totally honest. | ||
Super honest. | ||
Raw in like this insane heroin way. | ||
You know, this insane heroin honesty. | ||
Spawned by the punk movement. | ||
Yeah, is that what it is? | ||
What about Alice in Chains? | ||
Alice in Chains, they were kind of like that. | ||
They were more on the metal side to me, but like they were definitely of that grungish metal movement. | ||
Dude. | ||
Like Soundgarden, you know, they like rocked out a little harder, you know? | ||
That song, Them Bones? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Jesus Christ, that makes you feel like you're dying when you're listening to it. | ||
Yeah, Jerry Cantrell's a beast, man. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
That was a dude who was... | ||
unidentified
|
Very sad. | |
That motherfucker understood that he was dying when he wrote that song. | ||
He understood that he was on that path when he wrote that song. | ||
I don't think Lane wrote those. | ||
He just sang it? | ||
Yeah, I think Jerry Cantrell wrote all that stuff. | ||
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
I'm pretty sure. | ||
Whatever. | ||
There may be a few that I'm wrong on, but the bulk and the... | ||
To perform that? | ||
What I'm saying is, like, the way Layne Staley hit notes, like, it made you feel that you were dying. | ||
Like, that song, gonna end up a big ol' pile of them bones, like, that screaming was like, Jesus Christ! | ||
I remember the first time I saw Man in the Box, like, on MTV, it was like, what the hell is that? | ||
Goddamn, those guys were intense. | ||
That was crazy. | ||
And that kind of... | ||
I had a night with that dude and another guy. | ||
Lane Staley? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
Slept with him? | ||
Yeah, I did. | ||
It was good, too. | ||
No, we... | ||
Just for the story. | ||
This promoter in Philly booked this place. | ||
I believe it was the Electric Factory. | ||
Like, you know, Thousand Cedar Club, something like that. | ||
He booked it twice in one night. | ||
He did two shows. | ||
He did an Alice in Chains show early. | ||
Kicked everybody out. | ||
Then did a House of Pain show. | ||
Holy shit. | ||
Sold out to the place twice in one night. | ||
But we all, because, you know, we were all at the same hotel. | ||
So, like, I saw these guys, we were coming back from the hotel, me and DJ Lethal, and they were like, yo, what's up? | ||
We were like, hey, what's up? | ||
We're going to go up to the room, smoke one party a little bit. | ||
They were like, all right. | ||
We came up, him and his buddy. | ||
They came up, and they sat at the table, and we were rolling joints, and we're talking all this shit. | ||
And, like, me and Lethal are just rolling all joint after joint, throwing them out on the table. | ||
And then we stopped, and we go to Light One, and both the dudes are sitting there just completely knotted out, cold. | ||
Wow. | ||
Cigarettes burning to their fingers. | ||
And we were like, what the fuck? | ||
We weren't really hit. | ||
We were kind of naive. | ||
We didn't realize they were on heroin. | ||
By that time we had. | ||
But the whole time they were just like... | ||
Wow. | ||
Fucking sniffing or smoking shit out of a tinfoil pipe. | ||
Oh no! | ||
I've done that before with weed. | ||
We're rolling joints, man. | ||
So you didn't even realize they were doing hair? | ||
No, no, no. | ||
They were only in our presence for a matter of 15 minutes. | ||
Stone Temple Pilots performed for Dana White at his birthday party once. | ||
And it was one of the best fucking live shows I've ever seen in my life. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah? | |
Like, we want to talk about some dudes who, like, are solid professional. | ||
I don't know if you know those guys or have any... | ||
I've met a couple of them. | ||
Do you like them? | ||
I couldn't tell you I don't like them. | ||
I don't know them. | ||
I'll tell them to go fuck themselves if you don't. | ||
If you tell me you don't like them... | ||
unidentified
|
I have no personal, like, experience with them, you know? | |
I've met them at shows, festivals kind of situations a couple times. | ||
Seemed like alright dudes. | ||
I was blown away because it was a private party. | ||
It wasn't that many people there. | ||
There was like, you know, a couple hundred people, maybe. | ||
You know, it was Dana's birthday party. | ||
It was all his friends. | ||
And, you know, I'm like, you got Stone Temple fucking pilots to do this? | ||
You know, to the people that did it. | ||
Like, Dana didn't even know. | ||
I don't think. | ||
I'm pretty sure the whole party was a surprise. | ||
So I don't think he knew that Stone Temple Pilots was hired to play for him. | ||
I don't think he had any idea until we brought him out. | ||
But to see Stone Temple Pilots just Rock it like there's 18,000 motherfuckers on their feet. | ||
I mean, that dude can fucking perform. | ||
They're pros. | ||
With 100, whatever it was, 200 people in that room, that guy went off. | ||
It was magnetic. | ||
I learned about performing watching him. | ||
I felt like an amateur. | ||
I was watching this guy, like, his fucking commitment to every step, everything that he did, the energy to those songs. | ||
I was like, everything I do, I suck at. | ||
This guy's, this is incredible. | ||
Yeah, he doesn't check out. | ||
Didn't check out at all. | ||
It was interesting. | ||
But it's obviously very different than your acoustic sets, which are equally interesting. | ||
It's a weird thing that you could have two things that are completely different on the spectrum, but both have an equal impact because of their honesty. | ||
Whether it's a beautiful acoustic song that's really emotional, or whether it's that Rape Me song. | ||
It's just like that. | ||
It just hits that note, whatever it is. | ||
By any weird way it gets there, by any fucking ups or downs, whether it's depressing or... | ||
Enlightening, whatever it is. | ||
When he hits that note, you know. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
He got kicked out. | ||
Do you know that? | ||
Who did? | ||
Scott Whelan? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Oh, you got kicked out of Stone Temple 5? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Probably for being too awesome. | ||
Drugs. | ||
You're that awesome. | ||
It's pretty hard to work with regular people. | ||
Is it drugs? | ||
Same shit? | ||
Dana did that once with Joan Jett at the Viper Room. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
Oh, my God. | ||
I would love to see that. | ||
About 100 people. | ||
She just did the same. | ||
Just rocked out. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But I know you know that check was beautiful. | ||
Oh, it had to be. | ||
unidentified
|
It had to be. | |
I know what the Stone Temple Pilots thing was. | ||
I asked. | ||
I can't tell, but I asked. | ||
It was very nice. | ||
It was a very nice evening. | ||
For those gentlemen, but I'm telling you, they did not treat it like it was a private party that they could barely get there and barely do the show for. | ||
That's what blew me away. | ||
This dude was at a private party, and maybe he's a big UFC fan. | ||
I don't know. | ||
I don't know if that was part of his motivation, but these motherfuckers nailed it. | ||
I mean, just destroyed. | ||
People who weren't musicians like me and some of my other friends were just looking at each other going, God damn! | ||
Yeah. | ||
God damn! | ||
How much, Joe? | ||
100 Roses? | ||
100 Roses? | ||
I can't tell you, man. | ||
It's confidential shit. | ||
75 Roses. | ||
A lot of cash, son. | ||
They get pizzayed, son. | ||
It's too bad that they broke up, but doesn't that always happen? | ||
It's like when you get a fat band together and they start kicking ass, eventually wheels fall off of that thing. | ||
It's like how many bands can completely keep it together for a long period of time? | ||
It's like Kiss, and even they, they lost Ace Frehley and Peter Criss. | ||
They have a fake Ace Frehley and a fake Peter Criss. | ||
Kiss is Gene Simmons, and he needs Paul Stanley, but I'm sure Paul's kept... | ||
In line. | ||
Gene seems like he keeps things in tight toe. | ||
The only time I was ever nervous at a comedy show because someone was in the audience, Gene Simmons came to see me on New Year's. | ||
And I was legitimately shit in my pants. | ||
Because when I was a kid, my uncle actually worked for Howard Marks Advertising, and they're the guys who used to make the ads and the album covers for Kiss. | ||
And so I met Ace Frehley when I was like six, seven years old, six years old. | ||
I was a little kid. | ||
And he had no makeup on. | ||
And I was just getting into Kiss back then. | ||
And I couldn't believe that I'm looking at him and he's got no makeup on. | ||
Because my uncle had given me his records and I'd listened to the songs. | ||
I became a fan because my uncle would give me free Kiss records. | ||
So seeing him with no makeup on, to me, was a real freakout. | ||
So having Gene Simmons in the audience, even though I was 40 years old, I was still like, yikes! | ||
This is weird, man. | ||
That's Gene fucking Simmons. | ||
Gene Simmons from Kiss. | ||
I saw him, I saw them when I was a kid. | ||
I saw them when I was like seven or eight years old, and I saw them again when I was like 25. Me and Kevin James, who's a huge Kiss fan, believe it or not. | ||
Kevin James is a huge Kiss fan, and me and Kevin James, we went to two shows. | ||
We went to two shows when they came back to LA with a full kiss with Peter Criss and Ace Frehley in makeup, and we were like, YES! Just complete, unapologetic dorks. | ||
We were reliving our childhood together, unapologetically, rocking out to a KISS concert. | ||
Bro-ing it to KISS. Yeah, I mean, he was air guitaring, and Kevin James is fun to go to a fucking KISS concert with, because he fucking sings the songs. | ||
He, like, gets into it. | ||
This was back before people knew who he was. | ||
He wouldn't be able to do that now. | ||
Didn't he have like a scene in one of his movies where that's what he's doing? | ||
I'm sure. | ||
He's like playing Guitar Hero or something? | ||
I wish if somebody had filmed it. | ||
Detroit Rock City or something like that. | ||
If somebody had filmed Kevin and I going to see Kiss back in the day, that would have been a fucking hilarious video. | ||
Because nobody knew who he was back then. | ||
This was before his TV show. | ||
He was like a semi-known comedian if you watched Star Search or something like that. | ||
So he could be free in public and not worry about anybody weirding on him. | ||
So he just completely rocked out. | ||
unidentified
|
Detroit! | |
Rock City! | ||
Get up! | ||
Everybody's gonna boot their feet! | ||
Get down! | ||
It was just like a free show. | ||
You know? | ||
Especially being a fellow Kiss fan. | ||
It was awesome. | ||
Kevin James is fucking hilarious. | ||
That guy is one of the funniest guys that doesn't get credit for it. | ||
He's real clean in his movies. | ||
He's squeaky clean. | ||
His stand-up, he doesn't really talk about anything controversial. | ||
But if you can hang out with that cat and get him to go full shimmy, that's what we used to call him. | ||
His nickname is Shimmy. | ||
We'd call it going full shimmy where he gets fucking mad at things and throws shit and gets red in the face. | ||
He's putting on a show for you. | ||
He's doing a bit. | ||
Some of the funniest, the hardest I've ever laughed is just hanging out with him. | ||
Him recreating an argument that he had with his girlfriend. | ||
And him going crazy and red in the face. | ||
He's a fucking hilarious dude. | ||
But he does movies that are more for families and kids. | ||
So people don't get to see that aspect of him. | ||
It's too bad. | ||
We don't want a balanced world. | ||
We don't want a dude to do kids' movies and still, you know. | ||
That's why we should have him on the podcast, for sure. | ||
He wouldn't do it. | ||
Bob Saget was, you know, he's like one of the dirtiest comics ever. | ||
He used to be, yeah. | ||
I guess he still is. | ||
He was full house for, you know, he was like the full house guy. | ||
But I think he stopped doing stand-up during that time. | ||
Yeah, now he's super dirty and playing off the whole house thing. | ||
Back to the dirty thing. | ||
Yeah, I think they probably told him, hey, dude, this is like a hundred million dollar business we're running here. | ||
TGIF. And you could fuck that up by telling a dick joke at the Laugh Factory. | ||
So, why don't you just lay off that? | ||
You're getting, you know, X amount of millions a week. | ||
I always heard they did that with Tim Allen as well. | ||
They told Tim Allen to stop doing a stand-up. | ||
Because it was a little controversial. | ||
I don't know. | ||
Crazy. | ||
Man, that's TV though. | ||
All I know is I never got successful enough where anybody bothered to tell me to stop doing anything. | ||
Yo, write me a check not to do things? | ||
When they start writing you checks not to do things, you're doing something right, man. | ||
Well, I was never important enough in the equation where they asked me to not do something like it was going to fuck things up. | ||
I guess when Fear Factor came along, people were already sort of opening up to the idea that the world isn't exactly as we've been told and that there's a lot more variation in people than you would like to imagine. | ||
The world's a big fucking place. | ||
Plus, how could a dick joke fuck up a show where somebody's gonna eat goat dick? | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
It's also you can express yourself now. | ||
If you said something fucked up a long time ago, you had to get booked on The Tonight Show to explain yourself. | ||
Remember when Hugh Grant got caught with the hooker and it was the big thing and he went on Jay Leno? | ||
What the hell were you thinking? | ||
He could just do a video blog now. | ||
Instantly have something where he expresses himself now. | ||
There's so much range for expression now. | ||
There's so much room. | ||
It's just a completely different world. | ||
You still have to apologize if you're Hugh Grant, though. | ||
Certain comedians wouldn't have to apologize. | ||
Right. | ||
Yeah, well, a guy like Hugh Grant is selling that thing. | ||
He's selling this one style. | ||
As Kevin is selling the squeaky clean family comedy, Hugh Grant was selling the really sweet boyfriend guy who's from England and would like to help you move. | ||
Can I cover your couch? | ||
Non-aggressive. | ||
He's not some crazy dude looking to get his dick sucked on a sneak tip. | ||
Ha ha ha! | ||
By a dirty girl. | ||
unidentified
|
Who's the crazy dude? | |
Street hooker, man. | ||
There's that too, but okay, you just reminded me of something. | ||
There's that English dude on CNN with the glasses who's still on, but like three years ago, the dude got caught in Central Park with meth in his pocket and a noose around his cock and all kinds of crazy shit. | ||
It's Richard something. | ||
Richard, the British dude, you would all know him when you see him. | ||
Goddamn, what's his name again? | ||
Richard something, CNN. Richard. | ||
Okay, so I'm going to Google CNN. Richard. | ||
Everlast dropping facts again. | ||
But my brain works in crazy ways. | ||
unidentified
|
Noose? | |
How about noose? | ||
Reporter? | ||
Reporter, noose around cock. | ||
See what comes up. | ||
I'm going to have to say penis. | ||
Look, here's Hugh Grant's offer now. | ||
Because it's Google. | ||
That's her now? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Aw, she's sweet. | ||
She's got a family. | ||
unidentified
|
She's got a family. | |
Good for her. | ||
She parlayed that into her life. | ||
Okay. | ||
Got off the streets. | ||
I don't see it here under that. | ||
Anything else? | ||
So the story really is Hugh Grant got someone off the streets. | ||
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
So reporter arrested. | ||
Math. | ||
Did you say Math? | ||
Yeah, Math. | ||
Central Park. | ||
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
Here's American Eagle. | ||
unidentified
|
Richard. | |
Fuck. | ||
What the fuck is his name? | ||
Richard something. | ||
Here's American Eagle. | ||
That is dangerous. | ||
What is this? | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, shit. | |
What are you watching? | ||
unidentified
|
It was a dive on somebody? | |
It smacked against the window. | ||
And someone said USA and it killed itself. | ||
What was that? | ||
That was an American Eagle. | ||
Check this out. | ||
It ran into the window? | ||
Yeah. | ||
No, and then it died? | ||
I think it was supposed to... | ||
You know, it was a show. | ||
It was a show? | ||
I think so. | ||
USA! Oh, it just nailed the window at full clip? | ||
Yeah. | ||
They die all the time like that in my house. | ||
Birds are flying in my window. | ||
They just fly in your window sometimes. | ||
They miss. | ||
They don't realize what it is. | ||
It's always sparrows. | ||
Cute little things too. | ||
It sucks. | ||
There's something you could do to get rid of it. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah, Duncan did it. | ||
Throw him in the trash. | ||
No, forget what he said. | ||
Yeah, I don't know what you could do. | ||
Remember he said he had a bird feeder and he had all these birds hitting his window? | ||
I found a story. | ||
A CNN reporter arrested in Central Park. | ||
What was his name? | ||
Richard what? | ||
Richard Quest. | ||
Richard Quest! | ||
Was officially arrested for loitering and drug possession. | ||
In Europe especially, CNN over there, he's on all the time. | ||
This guy got arrested with something tied around his junk with meth on some rampage. | ||
Well, it says the New York Post included the kinky elements in an article on Saturday. | ||
So there were some kinky elements to it. | ||
Yeah, like a noose around his cock. | ||
I like men. | ||
Why is this one... | ||
Okay, yeah, it says another website will tell the full story. | ||
Why are they worth whole information? | ||
Say the guy noose around his dick and he had math. | ||
Don't say there's like... | ||
But it's like, dude, he didn't skip a step. | ||
CNN didn't fire him. | ||
They were just like, alright, just, yo, uh... | ||
Good for him. | ||
Must be talented. | ||
Like, this is strike one. | ||
He's a good-looking guy. | ||
Okay. | ||
Richard Quest was arrested early Friday morning for drug possession when people found in Central Park well after the park's 1 a.m. | ||
curfew. | ||
Wow, you know what? | ||
Well, so what? | ||
Guy was out getting his freak on. | ||
I'm just saying, he's a media guy. | ||
I mean, you think normally... | ||
Yeah, it wouldn't normally get him fired, but maybe he's really good at what he does. | ||
And so they're like, what happened? | ||
He does like really corny kind of stories, man. | ||
Maybe he's like, look, I'm under a lot of pressure. | ||
I have a feeling some, you know, maybe whoever he was going to meet with the meth and the noose around his cock might be his superior at his job or something. | ||
That's so funny. | ||
Can't lose it. | ||
It wasn't immediately clear what the rope was for. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
The officer on the scene was able to ID the drug because of his prior experience as a police officer in drug arrests. | ||
Okay. | ||
So the guy had a package of meth and he was headed home to his friend's house. | ||
It says his lawyer claims that Quest was returning to his hotel with friends and had no idea there was a curfew for the park. | ||
I didn't know there was a curfew for the park. | ||
Neither did I. That's kind of weird. | ||
Isn't that like the whole thing about New York City is that you can do whatever the fuck you want? | ||
No. | ||
Well, I think that stopped when people started winding up dead in the park. | ||
Isn't that weird? | ||
You can't have woods. | ||
Even woods in the city, people start killing people and dragging them into bushes and shit. | ||
We're so creepy when it comes to woods. | ||
What is that about? | ||
Women worry much more about getting raped or attacked in the woods. | ||
Like, if you find men in the woods, it's way more dangerous than a man in a city. | ||
I think any rape is probably all the same. | ||
unidentified
|
What about alleyways? | |
That's not what I'm saying. | ||
I'm saying worrying about it. | ||
Like, if you ran into a man when it's just you and the man in the woods, it's way more of a rapey situation than you run into a man in a city. | ||
Where there's all sorts of other people and all sorts of buildings. | ||
And when you're out there in the woods, it's a totally different environment for a woman. | ||
It must be. | ||
You must feel like ultra-violent, like ultra-violent dudes that you could just stumble upon are super fucking dangerous if you're a woman. | ||
Whereas if you're a guy, they're not going to fuck you. | ||
They're going to look at you and go, hey, there's another guy camping. | ||
You know, if you're a woman and you're out there in the woods by yourself. | ||
Unless you've seen Deliverance. | ||
I think that that movie is accurate. | ||
There are people that are out there that will... | ||
Me, I see other guys, even when I'm camping, if they're not familiar, I start thinking rapey thoughts. | ||
unidentified
|
Like, wait, man, I ain't trying to get raped out here. | |
People get rapey in the woods, man! | ||
unidentified
|
We did bring a pistol, right? | |
Yeah, I really believe people get rapey when they're just out in nature. | ||
Something primal takes over, man. | ||
They get more in touch with their animal natures. | ||
Yeah, it's almost like with creating cities and spacing things out, putting doors in front of this, and you can lock that, and you're secure in this room. | ||
Instead of being all out in the open, we've slowly moved away from the primal instincts that have driven us to this point. | ||
But all you need is just remove those buildings, stuff everybody back in the trees again, and the same shit will start from scratch, like, really quick. | ||
The moment your kids start getting hungry, shit gets really fucking primal, real quick. | ||
That's what I keep telling people. | ||
Yeah, well, nobody wants to believe that, that our civilization is just a thin veneer covering ancient barbaric genetics. | ||
Our civilization in the last couple hundred years, really? | ||
But if you go back to the fucking race riots in the 60s and the 50s, like, isn't that, like, what kind of civilization is that? | ||
What kind of civilization where they were just, like, completely discriminating against someone for the color of their skin? | ||
With all the books that were available, like, they had decided these people were less and they were going to keep them out of certain bathrooms. | ||
That was a Fucking 1950s. | ||
My grandma had to go to, like, separate schools. | ||
My grandma, she's Mexican. | ||
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
So how much civilization have we really had? | ||
How long has it really been around? | ||
You know, it's fucking barely here! | ||
It's barely here hanging on with vaccines and cell phones. | ||
Barely here! | ||
But if the fucking power goes off or a big rock hits the ocean or one of those fucking volcanoes blows... | ||
Solar flare. | ||
Right back to a thousand, ten thousand years ago. | ||
Right back, real quick. | ||
Soon as we run out of lighters. | ||
Soon as we run out of bullets. | ||
Right back to crazy time. | ||
It's gonna take me a while to run out of bullets. | ||
Just so everybody know. | ||
Do you hunt or do you just shoot targets? | ||
Brian and I are actually very curious lately. | ||
We're trying to probably take a class on how to go hunt and actually kill and prepare an animal properly. | ||
Dude, you should go on Steve Rinella's show. | ||
You should go on that Meat Eater show. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah? | |
Yeah. | ||
I'm not familiar, but I want to... | ||
Plus, I always feel like this. | ||
As a Meat Eater... | ||
I feel like I have the responsibility to actually have to go through and butcher an animal once. | ||
I've never had to do it in my life. | ||
I understand it. | ||
I've seen it on film. | ||
But I still feel like if I can't stomach doing it, I have no business eating meat. | ||
I feel the same way. | ||
That was my motivation to go hunt with him. | ||
I wanted to experience it. | ||
And I wanted to experience it completely wild. | ||
We took a canoe. | ||
We went down the Missouri Breaks. | ||
We went on the Missouri River. | ||
It was amazing. | ||
I'm game. | ||
It was beautiful. | ||
It's hard work, though, man. | ||
You're hoofing it over these hills. | ||
If you're out of shape, it's really hard because you're doing a lot of high elevation hiking. | ||
And it doesn't seem like much because you're walking kind of slow, but you don't fucking stop. | ||
And dude's in serious shape because he does his shit all the time. | ||
He hunts every day. | ||
His show is a hunting show, so he's always in fucking New Zealand, climbing mountains. | ||
He's constantly doing this. | ||
So it's like he's got this kind of hiking endurance. | ||
It's a lot of work. | ||
But the experience of doing it was life-changing. | ||
That's where I got that thing from. | ||
That deer head right there. | ||
How much did that deer weigh? | ||
180 pounds. | ||
Wow. | ||
About, approximately. | ||
How long did the meat last you? | ||
I ate it pretty quick. | ||
I'm quite the carnivore. | ||
Me too. | ||
I like meat. | ||
And I'm not a cruel person, and I love animals, and that seems like a contradiction. | ||
No, it doesn't. | ||
It's not. | ||
People have to realize that you have to manage a certain amount of wildlife. | ||
You have to. | ||
For their health, for the health of the species. | ||
The idea of deer in total, the idea of large populations of deer and healthy animals breeding and surviving in the wild around us is a beautiful idea. | ||
If you don't manage their numbers, they just start breeding like crazy, and then you slam into them with cars, and then they run out of food. | ||
They starve to death. | ||
They start getting diseases. | ||
Those diseases transfer to people. | ||
It really is as stewards of the land, which is what humans claim to be. | ||
If we start putting fences up around things and putting roads, we're essentially saying, we got this. | ||
This is our spot. | ||
Well, you need to manage that wildlife. | ||
You have to. | ||
You have to kill them. | ||
Your options are either kill them or reintroduce predators. | ||
And they've tried both. | ||
They reintroduced predators to Yellowstone and now they have real issues because of the decimation of the elk population and the deer population. | ||
There's like a fraction of the elk and deer that used to exist because they have these big packs of wolves now. | ||
And they're fucking successful because they don't have much competition. | ||
The grizzly bears don't know what the fuck's coming. | ||
You know, and the grizzlies are not trying to eat the wolves and the wolves aren't trying to eat the grizzlies and occasionally they have to fight over a carcass or something like that. | ||
But for the most part, There's a lot of shit that they're killing out there. | ||
So that was one solution. | ||
But now a guy in Minnesota got fucking bit in the head by a wolf. | ||
This kid was camping the other day. | ||
And this wolf fucking clamped a hold of his head and was trying to drag him away. | ||
And he's screaming and, you know, he eventually pries himself free and they find the wolf and trap it and shoot it. | ||
But, like, that's what happens when you don't hunt deer. | ||
When you don't hunt deer, you have to have wolves. | ||
Okay? | ||
And if you have wolves, like, they're gonna kill a few people every now and again. | ||
unidentified
|
I like wolves. | |
I do too. | ||
I like wolves, but I wouldn't want them in my backyard. | ||
I believe in culling of herds. | ||
Yeah, yeah, you gotta call it ours. | ||
But also, they're made out of delicious food. | ||
Who's gonna call ours? | ||
That's a good question. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
That is the question, right? | ||
Who's gonna call ours? | ||
That's the real question. | ||
That really is the question, because if you, you know, like I've said to certain people, like, you know, like, if everybody just had less children, the world would be a beautiful place. | ||
Like, is that really true? | ||
unidentified
|
No. | |
Okay? | ||
Because you gotta look at it a few ways. | ||
One, you gotta look at it, aren't people, they start out as children, okay? | ||
We need people. | ||
We, without a doubt, need to manage the amount of us we have, but don't you like people? | ||
I think people are awesome. | ||
Me too. | ||
I've met some good ones. | ||
I've met a lot of good ones, man. | ||
I've met a lot of good ones. | ||
We're a big fan of people. | ||
So when someone says, we've got an overpopulation problem, I go, Right now? | ||
Do we right now? | ||
It seems right now, if everything stays like this, we got it. | ||
I saw something online that was like this little graphic thing, like when they were taking census, about like, every person on the planet supposedly could fit in the state of Texas with elbow room. | ||
Yeah, I've heard that too. | ||
But it smelled like shit. | ||
It would be a real problem. | ||
The point being is like, there's enough room for everybody. | ||
Resources? | ||
That's the question. | ||
Is there enough resources? | ||
Misallocation of resources. | ||
That is the question. | ||
And scarcity. | ||
The issue of scarcity. | ||
I was watching something today just before I came here. | ||
You know, they show Modern Marvels. | ||
It's always the one. | ||
And they were doing this thing about city sewers and bridges and all this stuff that's falling apart. | ||
And it scared the life out of me because I spend my life traveling with guys in cars and buses and To figure out | ||
how to do that? | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
It's just weird to me. | ||
Like, I think that about stupid shit, too. | ||
Like, I saw a thing on the commercial where there's a plug now where the thing actually goes to the sides, so you could put shit flat. | ||
I was like, it took till 2013 to come up with that? | ||
Yeah, well, if it was up to me, we would never have invented scissors. | ||
I would have never figured out scissors. | ||
I'd be like, just fucking cut it. | ||
What's the problem? | ||
I'm so stupid, I can't imagine a laptop. | ||
Like, I know I have one, I know how to press buttons on it, but I can't imagine what the fuck is going on behind the scenes. | ||
But that is the Wizard of Oz right there. | ||
Your laptop is the Wizard of Oz. | ||
Who knows what the fuck is happening behind that curtain. | ||
You're just on Facebook. | ||
unidentified
|
OMG. LOL. Please tell me. | |
Oh, no, you got it. | ||
Oh, you used the camera, huh? | ||
No, I don't care. | ||
Oh, shut it off. | ||
If the government wants pictures of me beaten off, you go ahead and get it, you fucks. | ||
No. | ||
My body image isn't that great right now, so I keep it taped. | ||
Well, nobody looks good when they're coming on themselves. | ||
That's just a fact. | ||
You just don't. | ||
It never looks like that's what you should have done. | ||
It always looks like you could have done some other shit. | ||
You put on some shit to do that. | ||
It's like if you're a grown man and you have a family and you have a life to live, you have businesses to run and shit, like how much time do you have for beating off? | ||
So every time you do it, you feel like, what the fuck am I doing? | ||
The shame rushes in. | ||
What the fuck is wrong with me, man? | ||
Just look at yourself. | ||
And then there's the knowledge that you're going to do it again. | ||
You know you're going to do it again. | ||
Like an alcoholic who can't put that drink down. | ||
You're going to do it again. | ||
You're going to do it again. | ||
I have no shame. | ||
I want it to last longer. | ||
I just love it. | ||
Yeah, everybody wants to hear that right now. | ||
People are throwing up in their car. | ||
Thinking about you beating off all of your pasty, hairy stomach. | ||
How dare you? | ||
How dare you? | ||
Well, it's good that they didn't fire this dude for beating off in the forest or whatever the fuck happened. | ||
Doesn't seem like a bad guy. | ||
Who is it again? | ||
I totally forgot about whatever the hell we were talking about. | ||
Let's call him the CNN gentleman. | ||
We don't have to shame this person. | ||
I ain't mad at him. | ||
I'm just shocked. | ||
I'm not mad at him. | ||
I'm just shocked. | ||
unidentified
|
Like, you get caught with a rope around your dick and meth and you have a TV job. | |
Well, he could have been... | ||
He might be gay. | ||
And if he's gay, they might be less likely to fire him. | ||
He played the card. | ||
He played the card. | ||
He played the game. | ||
I'm good for him. | ||
He did, you know. | ||
Well, he's like, this is the gay community. | ||
We don't have children to watch out for, so we like to do math and stick stuff up our ass. | ||
I pay taxes. | ||
What's the problem? | ||
I didn't know there was a curfew. | ||
That was my only problem. | ||
That was my only problem. | ||
I think that there are different rules. | ||
There's different rules for gay dudes because they only have to deal with dudes. | ||
Men clearly understand the intentions of other men, whereas men barely understand how a woman works. | ||
We understand how they work through experience, but as far as the actual mechanism of thinking the way they think, if you are thinking in your life and living your life and you're a man, it's probably virtually impossible to really understand what it's like to be a woman. | ||
So both of us are just trying to coexist and figure out what's okay and not okay, what gets you smacked. | ||
That's what we're doing as men. | ||
But gay guys don't have to do that. | ||
Gay guys just find a hole and shove it in. | ||
Just get together, do some meth together, and just go fucking crazy. | ||
The cat has food. | ||
They have the food and a little bowl of water. | ||
The cat's going to be fine. | ||
You don't have to feed that fucking thing. | ||
And they just buttfuck for days. | ||
Until they run out of carbs, and then they have to leave the house to go get groceries. | ||
But that's alright for them, you know? | ||
Well, meth, I don't think you need the groceries, right? | ||
Well, this guy apparently didn't have groceries with him. | ||
He did have meth, so you got a point. | ||
He's just a gay dude looking to party, and that's how they party. | ||
They party different. | ||
They don't make people. | ||
It's a different experience. | ||
You don't have as much responsibility when you get home. | ||
And, you know, he's not at work. | ||
Let him do a little meth. | ||
It's like an adrenaline rush. | ||
The man wants his dick sucked! | ||
What's the problem? | ||
If someone wants to do it and he wants them to do it, what is the real issue? | ||
Are we crazy? | ||
Are we Puritans here? | ||
Are we going back to the old days? | ||
What's the guy do at work? | ||
When is he at work? | ||
Does he keep it together? | ||
Well, fucking whatever then. | ||
He's a pro. | ||
Let the guy keep it together at work. | ||
It's even more impressive that way. | ||
Now say he's your nanny. | ||
Well, that would be an issue. | ||
If he kept it together at work, though. | ||
That's a different job. | ||
He's a gay guy, though. | ||
But he's gay, though. | ||
But he's a gay guy. | ||
He's partying. | ||
He's partying. | ||
That's how he parties after work, Joe. | ||
The problem is it's a baby's involved, so it's another human being. | ||
It's completely different than if he was an accountant. | ||
I'm just totally playing devil's advocate. | ||
It's a good devil's advocate, but there's a responsibility of a parent to take care of a child, so it's irresponsible. | ||
My answer is easy. | ||
Get the fuck out of my house, man. | ||
Don't ever fucking come back. | ||
Don't ever come back. | ||
Sorry. | ||
I have a friend who has a gay nanny. | ||
He calls him a manny, and the guy's flamboyant. | ||
Like, nipple rings, and he's a black guy, and he's really flamboyant. | ||
But he doesn't care. | ||
I mean, my friend's very open-minded, and the guy's not creepy in any way. | ||
He's just a gay guy, and he's really good at working with kids. | ||
Like, he's very responsible with children. | ||
He's educational. | ||
He does art projects with them. | ||
You know, like, he does shit with his kid. | ||
Like, if he's got to watch his kid for a day, like, for five or six hours, a lot of things will happen. | ||
Like, he treats it as a professional educator, almost. | ||
So it's a very unique situation. | ||
So I've seen it. | ||
Guy's flamboyant as fuck. | ||
He doesn't talk about it. | ||
They don't have conversations about it. | ||
He goes, I don't want to know. | ||
I don't want to know. | ||
But the guy's out fucking hitting it all the time. | ||
Out there just slinging dicks in the club and then taking care of little kids all day. | ||
For him, it seems to work. | ||
I mean, I haven't experienced this gentleman in person. | ||
I don't know what his personality is like, whether or not I would trust him with my kids. | ||
God bless him. | ||
But my friend has no problem with it. | ||
He enjoys the exchange. | ||
But he lives in San Francisco. | ||
His kid's gonna be open-minded. | ||
Yeah, my buddy lives in San Francisco, which is a completely different environment, period. | ||
So many gay people are up there, they're undeniable. | ||
You can't be a hater of gays. | ||
Half the fucking people are going to run into her gay. | ||
What about Hollywood, though? | ||
We're in the entertainment business, man. | ||
It's pretty gay. | ||
It's pretty gay. | ||
If you've got hatred for gays, you're not going to get far. | ||
Yeah, it's not a good spot. | ||
But you know what? | ||
I've been accused of having hatred for gays because I make fun of them. | ||
But everybody gets it. | ||
You're all going to get it. | ||
Anybody who's funny, you do something funny, you get it. | ||
Come on, dude. | ||
You're going to get it. | ||
It's just a joke. | ||
I'm going to get it for myself too. | ||
I'll get it all over me. | ||
It's fucking humor. | ||
Make fun of yourself. | ||
That's silly. | ||
You can't be homophobic because you have a gay joke. | ||
Or a joke about how you reacted to watching Brokeback Mountain. | ||
That's how I reacted. | ||
I was cringing. | ||
I was tightened up. | ||
I barely could stay in my seat. | ||
When those guys were fucking in that tent, I was like, oh, Jesus! | ||
Spit on his hand. | ||
Oh, my God. | ||
When he just yanked his pants down, spit on his hand. | ||
That shit got real. | ||
See, I've never seen it. | ||
It was intense. | ||
But I have a similar experience, because Sean Penn's a pretty good buddy of mine, and I've seen Milk, so that was tough. | ||
I didn't see Milk. | ||
I heard it was great, but it's one of those movies that slipped me by, and I just didn't see it. | ||
No, it was a great film, but it was tough to watch him make out with dudes and get all that heavy and petty. | ||
I was like, oh, man. | ||
Jesus! | ||
Oh, my God. | ||
I get it. | ||
Can't you guys just fade to black, look into each other's eyes. | ||
A little old school. | ||
unidentified
|
And then, you know, hear birds chirping and fucking see the sun come up. | |
I love Lucy stuff. | ||
Yeah, your alarm clock goes off. | ||
Oh, wow. | ||
Look at the time. | ||
Crazy. | ||
unidentified
|
It always used to trip me out because I used to like that show. | |
It was six feet under, right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
And it was incredibly, a lot of gay characters in there, a lot of gay action. | ||
But it would always bother me because if a hot chick and a dude on the show were going to go at it, it'd be just a little thing. | ||
But if two dudes went at it, it would be a much more elongated... | ||
Like, hang around on it kind of thing. | ||
And you know that's on purpose. | ||
That's so true. | ||
Shock value. | ||
That's so true. | ||
It would be with the chick. | ||
They're a little making out, a little hair pulling, then it would pan away to the window. | ||
With the gay guys, you've got two and a half minutes of that grunting, making out, and then fade to... | ||
Something. | ||
And the studio has to show that they're progressive by showing you a lot of really intimate moments. | ||
Yeah, the studio's trying to show they're progressive. | ||
We're progressive. | ||
We're going to show you some gay sex. | ||
And whoever was in charge of that show is more than likely there's a couple of them that are gay and they'll be like, we're fucking with everybody right now. | ||
Well, they're making the movie that they want to see. | ||
Exactly. | ||
They're making the movie that they want to see, and that's their expression. | ||
That's what art is all about, right? | ||
I'm just saying, if we're going to do that, let's treat it like we treat politics. | ||
Equal time. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Equal time. | ||
That's all I'm saying. | ||
But they're trying to balance it out like affirmative action. | ||
They feel like gays have been held down for a while. | ||
You can't give it to me all in one show. | ||
You can't do it. | ||
Affirmative backdoor action. | ||
You can't give it to me all in one show. | ||
unidentified
|
It's like they're just trying to balance it back out again. | |
Let things get a little gay for a while. | ||
Equilibrium's off. | ||
It's been a little gay for a minute. | ||
Maybe that's what's going on with overpopulation, which means more gay people. | ||
There you go. | ||
Just let them slam each other. | ||
Just get a cat, man. | ||
You don't need a kid. | ||
Jesus Christ. | ||
How many people are on the 405? | ||
Let's love each other. | ||
Respect the people that are here. | ||
unidentified
|
So the 405 is moving well. | |
No more babies, y'all. | ||
No more babies, y'all. | ||
What year did you come to Los Angeles? | ||
Originally, I was too young to even remember. | ||
My father was a construction worker, came from the East Coast during the whole, like, Palmdale, or Simi Valley first, and then Palmdale, like, explosion. | ||
Oh, wow. | ||
So I came, and then I went back, because things kind of went poorly for him a little while, and then a year or so later, we came back, because he stayed, and, like, he was building, like I said, Simi Valley, and so I've been here since, you know, 70s. | ||
70s, wow. | ||
So, do you remember driving on the roads back then at all? | ||
Is it hard to remember? | ||
No, not really. | ||
Not really hard to remember? | ||
No, not that hard. | ||
What was the traffic like? | ||
Nothing compared to what? | ||
It was nothing, right? | ||
It changed in, like, late 80s. | ||
You ever go to Jerry's Deli and see those old pictures that they have on the wall? | ||
Of what it was like here in the 1920s and shit? | ||
That's why I love movies like Chinatown, when you get to see... | ||
My house is in Chinatown. | ||
And the valley was just orange groves. | ||
Fucking weird, man. | ||
It's crazy. | ||
It's really weird. | ||
But that's not that long ago, man. | ||
What the fuck is happening? | ||
And it's expanding. | ||
Well, you know why they took away all the orange groves, right? | ||
Because they just stopped growing well. | ||
Why? | ||
Because, you know, fucking... | ||
No rain? | ||
No water? | ||
No, we're not going to talk about that. | ||
What is this? | ||
It'll be a whole new... | ||
It'll open up a whole can of worms. | ||
I forgot. | ||
I forgot. | ||
A whole can of worms don't work. | ||
Me and you will argue about it. | ||
Geoengineering? | ||
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
It has to do with radiation. | ||
Oh, no, no, no, no. | ||
unidentified
|
Don't worry about that. | |
That's what I'm telling you. | ||
We've had that argument already, man. | ||
We've had that argument already. | ||
It's not an argument, man. | ||
Look, I'm no scientist and neither are you. | ||
It's just what I've read from scientists. | ||
Debate. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's a discussion about some shit that neither one of us are attached to. | ||
unidentified
|
No. | |
But the area, like Calabasas area and shit, was like ranches. | ||
It was like horse ranches and shit. | ||
It's weird, because when you go there now, like the 405 all the way up to the 101 and the 101 all the way through Encino and shit, that thing is thick with people. | ||
Thick with people every day. | ||
The amount of people that live in the valley now, it's just like slowly spreading itself. | ||
Until what? | ||
Does it stop? | ||
I mean, if it moves this far in 50 fucking years, what does it do in 500 years? | ||
I mean, is there any land left in 500 years? | ||
Has anybody measured how far cities are spreading and what the fuck happens in a thousand years from now? | ||
It'll just be like one of those what they call mega cities. | ||
You know, like San Francisco to San Diego will just basically be... | ||
That's gonna suck. | ||
It's gonna. | ||
There's no way to grow tomatoes when there's just nothing but people all the way up the coast. | ||
So who's gonna cull our herd? | ||
That's an unfortunate way of looking at reality, but it's true. | ||
It's like, I mean, I don't know. | ||
There's studies that say that the more time passes, the more education... | ||
People receive, the more the economy bounces out, the less children people will have, and actually they run into a problem of the population slipping. | ||
I have heard that as well from people way fucking smarter than me on the subject. | ||
I love that Mike Judge movie, Idiocracy. | ||
Because it's like the smart people are deciding to have less babies and have them at the right time. | ||
unidentified
|
It's like stupid people are just having fucking baby after baby after baby. | |
They're actually saying that that's like a trend in society like that's what happens when cities start developing and people start getting educated and they start getting careers they have started having kids later and later and then literally you run into a situation where you could have like too few people like that could happen in industrialized nations but then you get places like China which is crazy fucked up because you have Like, 70% boys? | ||
Something nutty like that? | ||
Because everybody can only have one kid? | ||
So everybody wants to have a boy? | ||
So, like, they're aborting females. | ||
I've heard all kinds of crazy shit they're doing if you have females. | ||
But the fact that these poor boys are growing up and there's no chicks. | ||
Like, nobody thought that through. | ||
You can have more than one kid, but it's like extreme luxury taxes on it. | ||
Oh, is that what it is? | ||
Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty sure. | ||
Like, you pay enough money, you can have more than one kid. | ||
Oh, that's even prettier. | ||
The point being, people don't have that kind of bread, so they wind up only having one kid. | ||
But that's even creepier. | ||
Like, you have to pay to have another child. | ||
And what happens if you don't? | ||
Do you owe them? | ||
Like, what if you just have the kid? | ||
Oh, yeah, no, I saw a whole thing kind of on this. | ||
I don't know if it was Vice or one of those kind of, like, documentary-ish type things. | ||
And it was like, you know, there's a whole, like, black market for babies and stuff in China. | ||
It's, like, crazy. | ||
Did you hear about that lady that had a baby inside of her body for like 20 years and she didn't know it? | ||
And it was calcified? | ||
unidentified
|
Ew. | |
No. | ||
She apparently, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
I just pulled it up. | ||
Brian, go to my Twitter. | ||
It's on my Twitter. | ||
I just tweeted this. | ||
This is the craziest fucking shit. | ||
Have you tweeted that? | ||
Because I think I would have paid attention. | ||
There's some you do, I'm like, I don't care about that. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
And then there's ones that I'm like, ooh, that's very intriguing. | ||
Let me read that. | ||
If you go to the second one down on my Twitter, woman pregnant for 46 years gives birth to a mummy. | ||
She gave birth to a calcified baby. | ||
Isn't that one of the signs of the apocalypse or something right there? | ||
It's pretty crazy, dude. | ||
That's a baby that turned into a calcium rock. | ||
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
She was 26 years old, and she was taken to the hospital, and she was supposed to get a cesarean section. | ||
That lady there is 26? | ||
No! | ||
No, for 46 years it was in her body. | ||
unidentified
|
So she's like, 46. You're lying, bitch! | |
No, I was trying to do all that math. | ||
Like, you said 46 years, but she's 26 years old. | ||
She looks 90. She is 72. At the age of 26. She got pregnant. | ||
She's taken to the hospital. | ||
She's the one on the right, by the way. | ||
She was pregnant at 26. So that was... | ||
That's ridiculous. | ||
46 years ago. | ||
So she's 72. Wow, dude. | ||
And she went into labor for 48 hours with no sign of the baby, so she needed to have a C-section, but she wouldn't do it. | ||
So she left the hospital. | ||
They wanted to keep the baby alive. | ||
The only way to do it was a C-section. | ||
She said no. | ||
So the baby died inside of her, and she stayed alive. | ||
And the baby never came out of her box. | ||
So it stayed inside of her body and calcified. | ||
And then she's in serious fucking pain, and she goes to the hospital, and they found out that she had been living with this calcified illness. | ||
Baby inside of her body for 46 years. | ||
Can you imagine going down on that? | ||
The smell must have been like a tombstone covered in shit. | ||
God, you smell like dead babies and fish. | ||
How do you not know that's in your fucking guts? | ||
Yeah, I mean, it's a fetus. | ||
So she was supposed to have a baby. | ||
Think about how big a baby is when it's born. | ||
But there's a person's hand in the picture. | ||
That thing is this big. | ||
It's huge. | ||
Yeah, it's huge. | ||
unidentified
|
It's a baby. | |
How do you not know it's in your fucking guts? | ||
Well, it's really sad. | ||
It's really sad because the thing tried to live outside of her body. | ||
It was passing through. | ||
It couldn't get all the way through, so it tried to stay alive inside of her body. | ||
And then her body just shut it down and then just started digesting it or changing it into calcifying it. | ||
I guess when your body finds something foreign inside of it, sometimes it'll coat it in materials that it creates, I guess, a naturally occurring thing. | ||
What if it's just in a cocoon and it's like this antichrist is about to creep out of it? | ||
Scientists listening to me describe that are probably fucking cringing right now and I apologize for being retarded. | ||
It looks like snake poop. | ||
It looks gross. | ||
Now we know where McRib comes from. | ||
Brian, shut the fuck up. | ||
You just ruined the McRib for me, dude. | ||
Do you eat McRibs? | ||
Fuck yeah. | ||
Do you know why they're only limited edition? | ||
Because once in a while, the actual cost of rib goes down and up the stock market, and so they just buy a shitload at that time. | ||
Is that even ribbed at what that is? | ||
It doesn't look like it has any bones or anything like that. | ||
Particle meat. | ||
Yeah, it's not good for you. | ||
It's just, you know, you can't have this many people and have real old-time barbecue places be the only place where you can get some food. | ||
It's just too many people. | ||
The way we have it set up, you're going to have to have some quick food. | ||
I'm going to be able to pull in, get a stupid cheeseburger, and drive off because I'm busy. | ||
Or maybe that's just how they're culling the herd. | ||
What, by McDonald's? | ||
Poisonous. | ||
Big scandal? | ||
Are you wearing a tinfoil hat under that camouflage? | ||
It's all about eugenics today. | ||
I went there the other day and they only have two sizes now. | ||
They got rid of small. | ||
I'm like, can I get a small meal? | ||
And then they were like, we only have medium and large. | ||
They're not small, dude. | ||
Small gives you a bad impression. | ||
There's another spot that just threw all sizes out, and it's just like, well, we only have, like, the big, stupid, extra-large one now, because it's a dollar. | ||
They're all dollar anyway, so here. | ||
Yeah, I bet men want, like, small. | ||
They don't want to buy a small. | ||
I'm going to buy a fucking small. | ||
I'll buy a small every day. | ||
I don't want a small. | ||
I want a small. | ||
What about dicks? | ||
Whoa, Jesus Christ, son. | ||
I buy a Happy Meal. | ||
I get the Smurfs. | ||
No one's buying dicks. | ||
How dare you? | ||
They're the cheeseburgers. | ||
Dicks in Seattle. | ||
Yeah, no one wants to buy a small cheeseburger. | ||
You ever had Dicks in Seattle? | ||
No, what is it? | ||
You ain't had Dicks in Seattle? | ||
You never had Dicks? | ||
You need to eat a bag of Dicks from Seattle, dude. | ||
Is that that place where there's always a line in front of it? | ||
A little burger spot, yeah. | ||
That place looks... | ||
I went there twice. | ||
Passed by. | ||
I never went there. | ||
But passed by. | ||
Big line. | ||
Both times. | ||
It's good. | ||
No dick. | ||
It's dicks. | ||
No dick for Joe. | ||
I would do it. | ||
I'm not scared. | ||
I'm not scared of dicks. | ||
You gotta do it just so you can say you ate dicks in Seattle, dude. | ||
I would say I ate at dicks so I wouldn't confuse the fuck out of people. | ||
There's nothing wrong with being gay, but you don't have to be gay when there's no gayness. | ||
You know, I mean, if it's there, it's there, okay? | ||
So you don't want to push the gay. | ||
Ah, look, I don't mind. | ||
It doesn't bother me, dude. | ||
Or you do, maybe you do. | ||
I'm like eight in my mind, so it's okay, dude. | ||
I'm eight in my mind, too. | ||
I'm barely eight. | ||
I'm seven. | ||
I'm flying, I'm eight. | ||
I got a month from my eight birthday. | ||
That's why you got that little homophobia about me saying you ate dicks in Seattle, you know what I mean? | ||
If you had the dicks. | ||
I just don't want to confuse people. | ||
It's all... | ||
I'm not... | ||
Dom Herrera's got my favorite line about gays. | ||
You think people would really get confused, Joe? | ||
No. | ||
You think you'd really confuse any folks out there? | ||
I'm joking, obviously. | ||
Dom Herrera has the best line about that. | ||
He goes, I wish I was gay, just so I could come out of the closet. | ||
That's how much I give a fuck. | ||
He's like, I really do. | ||
I wish I was gay. | ||
I wish I could tell people I was gay. | ||
And he's not lying! | ||
Like, when he says it, you know, he's a dude who's lived a long-ass life. | ||
He gives zero fucks. | ||
Yeah, he's awesome. | ||
It's so funny when he says that, too. | ||
I wish I was gay. | ||
He's totally serious. | ||
Totally sober. | ||
Gives zero fucks. | ||
I think it's almost like an intelligence test. | ||
If you really give a fuck that someone's gay. | ||
I would like to see that just so I know who's stupid. | ||
Who's blaring out? | ||
Who's angry? | ||
Who's holding up the God hates fag signs? | ||
I want to know where you are. | ||
Because most of them are probably gay themselves and just scared of it. | ||
Terrified inside that they're gay. | ||
Huge number. | ||
Huge number. | ||
Huge number of hypocritical fuckheads. | ||
I think it's like they think they're gonna throw people off. | ||
Like, these gays, we got a problem with these gays. | ||
Billy would never say that if he was actually gay. | ||
You know, I'm telling you, the guy's gay. | ||
He sucks my cock. | ||
For whatever reason, but it's a weird thing when you find other people are hating on gays and then they do gay shit. | ||
Like the Ted Haggard thing, remember that? | ||
That was that big case where the guy was like this. | ||
He had like a fucking, like a sports stadium filled with people every weekend. | ||
Like a megachurch guy. | ||
Those megachurch dudes are scary. | ||
You know those dudes that control those gigantic, huge ass fucking arenas filled with people. | ||
Have you ever watched some of those on TV? Yes, sir. | ||
He's the guy who got caught with, like, he had the meth, too, in, like, a hotel room. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Isn't he on, like, there's a crazy, like, documentary on HBO where they have, like, the school where they're, like, preparing, like... | ||
Youngsters for Christian jihad. | ||
You're talking about a different thing, but I know what you're talking about. | ||
That guy was involved in it before the scandal. | ||
Yes, he was. | ||
Yes, he was. | ||
Yeah, you're right. | ||
You're right. | ||
What is the name of that documentary? | ||
I got it on my iTunes. | ||
The same chick who followed around the presidents for HBO did the thing. | ||
I forget what it's called. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I love all that stuff. | ||
Documentary. | ||
I hate when I can't remember. | ||
I'm so stupid. | ||
Didn't y'all tell me I threw out a website here once and it, like, crashed because everybody went to it? | ||
Oh, that definitely happens. | ||
Yeah. | ||
God damn it. | ||
unidentified
|
Like, the website to buy your new CD? Sure. | |
Who was in this movie? | ||
Ah. | ||
In the movie? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Who created it? | ||
Do you have any idea? | ||
It's a documentary. | ||
God damn it. | ||
She's like the daughter of somebody in Congress or something like that. | ||
I almost want to say Nancy Pelosi's daughter or something like that, but I don't think that's right. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It might be, because I think it's something Pelosi. | ||
Oh man, you're killing me. | ||
Dude, that's the stoner reach, dude. | ||
That's the stoner Google right there in my mind. | ||
I'm trying to remember this fucking movie. | ||
If anybody hears this and they know what the fuck... | ||
Somebody's screaming right now. | ||
Somebody's saying, I know what that is! | ||
I usually have it on my laptop, but this is a new laptop. | ||
I don't even have it on here. | ||
It's one of my favorite movies about... | ||
Camp! | ||
Jesus Camp! | ||
Yeah, there you go, Jesus Camp. | ||
I had to remember. | ||
Thank God. | ||
Thank God. | ||
This is one of my favorite, like, crazy people movies. | ||
Jesus Camp's a brilliant movie. | ||
And they did it... | ||
Scary. | ||
Yeah, and they did it, like, they just showed you what was going on. | ||
I mean, that's what they did. | ||
They just showed you what was going on. | ||
They didn't give you any editorial flair to it, no narration. | ||
They just showed you what these people feel like they're doing, how they need to raise Christians in the same way these jihadists are being raised. | ||
You know, I mean, this woman compares suicide bombers, you know, and that they're starting them off young, so we need to start our Christian warriors off young, because they're right. | ||
This is what Jesus wants. | ||
They're fucking crazy. | ||
The shit they say to these little kids. | ||
And the founder of the whole thing was that guy. | ||
Yes, he was a big part of it. | ||
Why isn't that a terrorist organization? | ||
It is. | ||
It is. | ||
It's just it doesn't get labeled as one. | ||
You know, I mean, Jesus can't. | ||
Because they haven't done anything yet. | ||
When one of those kids does something 15 years from now... | ||
Well, that camp, that whole thing, conservative Christians were against it. | ||
Radio hosts who are Christian, who are conservative, they were like, this is indoctrination. | ||
What you're doing is you're making radicals. | ||
You're not educating them about God and about love and about what the Bible says. | ||
You guys, you're making soldiers for Christ, admittedly. | ||
Extremists. | ||
Stop. | ||
So conservative Christians were like, you guys are going too fucking far. | ||
But these idiots, their idea was that if the jihadists do it and what they believe in is wrong, we should do the same thing because we're right. | ||
You're like, whoa, that's some fucking logic right there. | ||
And they're allowed to raise kids. | ||
It's a brilliant movie. | ||
Yeah, check it out. | ||
So they closed down that ministry. | ||
Good. | ||
They closed down because of this movie. | ||
This wasn't even something that Christians wanted. | ||
This was just like, you guys gotta fucking take it down a notch. | ||
Who did make it? | ||
Who was the person that made it? | ||
The director's name is... | ||
It's two people. | ||
Heidi Ewing and Rachel Grady. | ||
They're the directors. | ||
I was wrong. | ||
I was wrong about who made it then. | ||
Yeah, and they're also the producers. | ||
It's just fucking brilliant. | ||
They did an awesome job with it. | ||
Yeah, that scared me when I saw that the first time. | ||
Well, it's, you know, when you realize how easy it is to shape a child's mind, it becomes really scary. | ||
Not only that, but how many like-minded people said that's a good idea and started their own little version of that somewhere, you know what I mean? | ||
Sure. | ||
I mean, how many people are homeschooling their kid because they want their kid to be nutty and not influenced by the ridiculous Dems and Libs who are teaching in school? | ||
You know, there's a lot of people out there doing that. | ||
Or science. | ||
Not exposing their children to other ideologies because they're worried that it might catch... | ||
You know, not treating your child as if it's a growing person and exposing them to and finding what their groove is. | ||
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
We're going to sit down in this kitchen table. | ||
I'm going to teach you about the Lord. | ||
All this shit about evolution is bullshit, okay? | ||
unidentified
|
There's never been a single piece of evidence points to Earth being more than 10,000 years old. | |
That's exactly what the Bible says as well. | ||
People, you know, fucking learn that shit. | ||
And then you get to polls where they did a Gallup poll that said 50%, 46% of America believes the Earth is less than 10,000 years old. | ||
Wow. | ||
That's real. | ||
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
That's real. | ||
So that's like, I don't know how long that's going to be around for. | ||
I have a feeling that as internet access gets to more and more places and more people get educated, that kind of thinking is probably going to go away within the next 20 or 30 years. | ||
I really don't see how you can keep it up. | ||
It just seems to be at a certain point in time we're going to invent some sort of technology that's even more pervasive than just looking things up. | ||
Just looking things up on a computer. | ||
No one ever thought of that four or five hundred years ago. | ||
No one ever thought that would be possible. | ||
To us, this is everyday occurrence. | ||
I think there's going to be a next step in the evolution of technology that's going to allow you to access information without actually looking things up. | ||
You're going to be able to just get it in your head. | ||
However, show it somehow in your head. | ||
And when that happens, there's not going to be any room for this shit. | ||
Who was it? | ||
Were we having the conversation about technology? | ||
About Kurzweil? | ||
Yeah, Kurzweil. | ||
Exactly. | ||
Tell them what we were talking about. | ||
About Transcendent Man and that documentary. | ||
Just talking about how technology evolves exponentially rather than linearly and how pretty soon we're going to have nanotechnology and all that whole conversation. | ||
I interviewed him for my sci-fi show. | ||
I got to talk to him for over an hour. | ||
It was fucking awesome, man. | ||
That shit's crazy. | ||
It was amazing. | ||
I mean, it's math. | ||
Well, he's also predicted everything. | ||
He predicted the search engine way before it existed. | ||
He predicted the internet before it existed. | ||
He created voice recognition software. | ||
I mean, this motherfucker's been around for a long time, breaking down what's happening as far as technological trends. | ||
He makes great keyboards, too. | ||
He does. | ||
He makes keyboards. | ||
Isn't that incredible? | ||
I mean, he's just like a super genius. | ||
He's also made e-book software for laptops. | ||
I saw him... | ||
He invents things. | ||
He's like invented a bunch of different shit. | ||
It's just a constantly thinking super genius type character and picking his brain It's not like picking the brain of just some average asshole who's gonna like tell you some shitty read on Scientific America This is a guy who's actually making these discoveries. | ||
This is a guy who's actually been involved in many technological innovations that have like really benefited people in a big leap and Absolutely. | ||
unidentified
|
And he's telling you about the future, and you're like, holy shit! | |
All from, like, a fear of death, too. | ||
He's like, really, he doesn't want to die. | ||
He wants to live forever. | ||
He wants to bring his dad back. | ||
Yeah, he wants to bring his dad back. | ||
How crazy is that? | ||
Yeah, the vitamins and all that. | ||
Well, he thinks that we're going to get to a certain point in time where you are not going to be a single autonomous body function thing. | ||
You're not going to be a single body, like a flesh and bone, blood. | ||
You're not going to be that. | ||
You're going to be a combination of tissue and artificial creations, whether it's artificial blood cells. | ||
I already am. | ||
Yeah, you are with your heart. | ||
It's true. | ||
For folks who don't know, Everlast had a heart situation where they put a... | ||
I have a titanium heart valve and it goes like tick tick tick tick tick tick tick it's fucking wild man So you're living proof. | ||
I'm bionic. | ||
And what he's saying is that this is just one step. | ||
And that in the future, you're going to have a better version of your body than your body. | ||
And so they're going to be able to figure out how to get your consciousness into this super body. | ||
This Wolverine... | ||
Adamantium, skeleton, bone, fucking whoosh, swords come out of your knuckles. | ||
unidentified
|
Light me up. | |
Yeah, that's coming. | ||
Downloading your consciousness basically into a hard drive. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And improving the body. | ||
And if you could download your consciousness into a hard drive, the guy's theory is basically you're going to live forever. | ||
It gets criticized, though, we should say. | ||
A lot of people say you're never going to be able to download consciousness, no hard drive. | ||
They say that the human personality is so complex and based on so many different factors, like how much hormones were in your system at a certain time? | ||
What stress level were you under? | ||
How much cortisone were you getting? | ||
There's a lot of shit involved about trying to develop a human being from scratch to an adult. | ||
So many steps take place. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
So the idea that you could actually recreate that and have anything as enjoyable as a person. | ||
It's tough to believe. | ||
It's tough to believe. | ||
I mean, I guess if you could mathematically calculate how many bad times you want to inject into a person's consciousness and memory and then create them over like a gigantic computer process where you're literally inventing memories. | ||
Algorithms all there. | ||
Yeah, to give them this adaptive technology, you know, that allows them to pretend to have lived a rich and wonderful life, and then you get like this really wise old dude, but really someone, he made him in a lab, and it only took an hour, and they pop open the metal top, and he comes out all steamy and shit, and just dropping science on you with his fake brain. | ||
Yeah, but with no bad experiences. | ||
No bad experiences, total poser. | ||
Yeah, how fun is that going to be? | ||
Maybe it'll be amazing. | ||
Maybe he'll be like fucking Dr. Manhattan and he'll be so dope he won't give a fuck. | ||
Maybe he'll be the most interesting man in the world. | ||
Yeah, fuck the Dos Equis guy. | ||
He'll be a righteous prick. | ||
Hey, dude, I never told you my story about him. | ||
The Dos Equis guy? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Did you meet him? | ||
Yes. | ||
Dude, he's like 5'1". | ||
Like short, maybe 5'4", something like that. | ||
His name is like something very Jewish. | ||
He's a Jewish guy? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
And he told me he worked at a hardware store on Lincoln in Venice. | ||
He probably doesn't anymore because of the gang. | ||
That's, I think, where he was working when he got the gang. | ||
But that's not even his voice, dude. | ||
Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
So they done it? | ||
I don't always drink beer. | ||
That's not his voice, dude. | ||
That's hilarious. | ||
I always drink Dos Equis, my friends. | ||
unidentified
|
Stay thirsty. | |
Yeah. | ||
Sweet guy! | ||
I'm not saying anything bad about him, but here's the story. | ||
We were playing in the Playboy Mansion for some charity event, and they come back to the backstage, and it's like, yo, the most interesting man here in the world is here, and he'd like to meet y'all. | ||
And we always loved those commercials. | ||
We were the clown on them all the time, so we're like, oh, fuck, yeah, he's got to come back here. | ||
It's on Facebook. | ||
We got pictures of it. | ||
Wow. | ||
unidentified
|
That's cool. | |
But he comes in, and we're all taking all these pictures, and he's like, yeah, hey, guys, how you doing? | ||
I'm so excited. | ||
Leo Feinstein! | ||
It was literally something like that. | ||
It wasn't exactly that, but it was so like... | ||
Someone should overdub it. | ||
I was just like, man, if that was me, I would be milking that to the nth degree, man. | ||
I would walk in and be like, my friends. | ||
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
I'd at least fake it. | ||
All you have to do is be on a commercial with a bunch of hot chicks like that and like a yacht and a Ferrari and drinking and mountain climbing and you go somewhere and people just gravitate towards you. | ||
That's the dude who had all the cool shit in that show. | ||
Yeah, but you gotta be that guy, my friends. | ||
It wasn't that. | ||
It was like this little guy. | ||
Hey, how are you guys? | ||
How you doing? | ||
Hey! | ||
You want to have a drink? | ||
Maybe he needs to change it. | ||
Maybe he needs to bring it back. | ||
And then when I saw the commercial that night, I got home from the gig, and the commercial came on, and I realized the voice was overdubbed. | ||
I was like, oh, man. | ||
It doesn't seem like it is. | ||
Joe got it. | ||
Joe got it right there. | ||
It seems really... | ||
Hilarious. | ||
Who wants spritzers? | ||
Wow, there's a picture of him. | ||
Oh my goodness. | ||
unidentified
|
You like beer? | |
You want beer with his glass? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Is that what everybody? | ||
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
It's this one. | ||
Oh yeah, yeah. | ||
Little guy. | ||
Yeah, it seems like a nice guy though. | ||
Nice, super nice guy. | ||
I'm not even trying to throw him under the bus. | ||
It was just one of those things where we were so pumped and it was just like kind of one of those letdowns where you're like, oh man. | ||
Oh, I've experienced that personally. | ||
People think that when they meet me. | ||
Like, they go, he's short as fuck, dude. | ||
I'm like, oh, this is what I am. | ||
Sorry. | ||
You should put him in a yoke. | ||
Like, what was that clip I saw you, like, was it Fear Factor? | ||
Were you, like, put a guy in a yoke, like one of the contestants? | ||
Yeah, I thought he was going to hit me. | ||
He was a guy that, he had a little bit of a history with violence. | ||
He had, on one show, he'd thrown his wife down, and on another show, he'd attacked a counselor. | ||
So they'd actually warned me about him before he did the show. | ||
And his wife came back from a stunt and hit a guy. | ||
And I told her, I go, hey, you know, because they would yell at each other and scream at each other and shit. | ||
I mean, it was really embarrassing. | ||
Like, you fucking idiot! | ||
It's right there! | ||
Go fucking get it! | ||
Screaming at each other. | ||
And so one of the dudes on the show was heckling them while they were competing. | ||
And so the woman comes back and punches the dude who's heckling her. | ||
Like punches him right into somebody really hard. | ||
So I go, hey, you can't... | ||
I go, just because you hit your husband doesn't mean you can go around hitting other people. | ||
You can't hit other contestants. | ||
And then the husband gets in my face, and I was like... | ||
Yeah, I saw that. | ||
I pushed him away a couple times. | ||
They didn't show all of it. | ||
I pushed him away a couple times, and he kept getting closer to me, and I was like, this guy's going to escalate, so I'm just going to grab him. | ||
So I just grabbed the back of his neck. | ||
Pulled his head down. | ||
I felt like, first of all, he's going to feel what it's like to get ragdolled, and he's not going to like that. | ||
And maybe that'll calm him down if I don't do anything to him. | ||
So I just grabbed his head, and I just held on to him a little bit. | ||
But that way, also, if he hits me, I'm just going to smash him. | ||
Just drop a knee on him. | ||
Yeah. | ||
When you're holding a guy's head, you basically own him. | ||
You watch Anderson Silva fight Rich Franklin. | ||
He holds his head. | ||
When a guy that can clamp down on the back of your head and you can't get those arms off, that's a terrible position to be in. | ||
Yeah, the clinch. | ||
That's the Overeem. | ||
They changed K1 because of Alistair Overeem. | ||
Bull cow. | ||
Because, yeah, Boakow, perfect example. | ||
K1 was like, you know what, man? | ||
You can't be holding people's heads. | ||
Because Overeem would just bum rush you, grab the back of your head, and it's night, night. | ||
Boom, boom. | ||
You can't get him off you. | ||
You can't get him off the back of your neck. | ||
He's huge arms. | ||
He's got that fucking lockdown grip where they just... | ||
There's dudes who develop that fucking tightness to that hold where they slap that motherfucker on the back of your head, then they pinch down with the two forearms, and you're fucked, man. | ||
And then the knees are coming. | ||
unidentified
|
Why can't he get it going like that in the UFC? There's a lot of issues. | |
One, okay, first of all, he's taken a lot of head punishment. | ||
If you watch Alistair Overeem's K1 career, his pride career, the Strikeforce fights. | ||
In the Strikeforce fights, he really didn't get hit, but he's had some brutal knockouts. | ||
Chuck Liddell knocked him out. | ||
Karatanov knocked him out. | ||
Shogun knocked him out. | ||
A lot of guys knocked him out. | ||
Badr Hari finished him. | ||
Badr Hari finished him. | ||
He got finished in kickboxing rounds. | ||
He finished Badr Hari, too. | ||
Yeah, and he finished Badr, too. | ||
So he's been stopped a bunch of times. | ||
Now he's been stopped twice in a row. | ||
And the Bigfoot one was fucking trauma. | ||
That Bigfoot one was incredible. | ||
That combination, there's only been one combination as good as that, finishing a fighter with hands, and that's Phil Barone versus Dave Manet. | ||
Old school UFC. Have you ever seen that? | ||
Pull that shit up. | ||
Phil Barone versus Dave Manet. | ||
Phil Barone is, uh, he, you know, he's a dude who, like, really underrated punching power. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
People don't know. | ||
He's had a lot of issues. | ||
He's been in the game a long time. | ||
He's had a lot of injuries. | ||
He's had a lot of losses. | ||
But when Phil Barone clips you, you got big problems because that motherfucker is dynamic. | ||
And this series of punches that he landed on Mané to finish him, one of the best all-time KO players. | ||
Scenes I've ever seen in my life. | ||
Look at this combination. | ||
Boom, boom, boom. | ||
That's the slow-mo. | ||
Show the full-speed version if you can find it. | ||
That's a shitty version of it, too. | ||
That looks terrible. | ||
It's like a Vito Belfort. | ||
See if you can find a better version of it so you can really see it clearly. | ||
But the Bigfoot one was really similar. | ||
Real similar. | ||
Real close. | ||
So it's like, that's a lot of trauma, man. | ||
I think your brain needs a long time off after you get fucked up like that. | ||
Yeah, because Brown just touched him on the chin with that foot. | ||
And it was... | ||
Yeah, and that was really the only time Brown had really hit him clean up to that point. | ||
And Alistair almost finished him. | ||
Almost finished him. | ||
And he went out full clip to try to finish him. | ||
Which, if you do, it puts you in a real bad position, gas tank-wise. | ||
And when your gas tank's done, when you thought you were going to kill the guy and the guy's still in front of you and you can't move, you can't move. | ||
But Alistair just kept moving forward, kept moving forward. | ||
He didn't want to back up. | ||
He wanted to keep the pressure on that dude. | ||
But that front kick to the face, you gotta give it up to Travis Brown. | ||
That shit was perfectly placed. | ||
He tested it a couple times to the body, too, during the fight. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, he's got a long-ass reach. | ||
Look at this. | ||
Here's the combo. | ||
Look at this. | ||
Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. | ||
Oh, it was like a... | ||
God damn! | ||
It's when you get hit when you're out on your feet. | ||
His head was doing like the speed bag off the fence, man. | ||
He might have hit him ten times in three seconds. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That was incredible. | ||
And how many of those punches was he out? | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Most of them. | ||
Most of them, right? | ||
Once his head started doing this, he's out. | ||
He was keeping them up with those punches. | ||
With those punches, just like the Bigfoot fight. | ||
Yeah, very similar. | ||
So that kind of knockout, I think, takes a long time to recover from. | ||
And obviously, I'm not a neurosurgeon. | ||
I'm just talking out of my ass. | ||
But I would imagine that's an injury. | ||
It's not as simple as, oh, you got knocked out, you come back, now you're 100%. | ||
No, you got injured. | ||
You know what it's like to injure your back. | ||
You know what it's like to injure your elbow. | ||
That shit's got to heal. | ||
It doesn't feel the same. | ||
And just because you don't feel your brain, just because you don't feel all that up there... | ||
Like, I would imagine your neural system has to fucking take a little bit of a break. | ||
It's got to heal up from something like that. | ||
So they give you, like, 90 days, like, before you're allowed to, like, when you get KO'd, they'll have, like, a certain amount of days. | ||
But how they can predict how one person's 90 days is the same as that 90 days, or, like, you know, Edson Barboza, Terry Adam 90 days, when he wheel-kicked homeboy and just starched him, like he got nailed by a sniper shot, just blam! | ||
That's a different kind of KO than a quick stoppage, but they're both 90 days. | ||
I think there's some significant injuries that happen, so that could be a part of what happened to him, too. | ||
You're dealing with a dude who's been knocked out at least eight times. | ||
What about confidence, too, right? | ||
He's still super fucking confident, man. | ||
He still attacked Travis Brown. | ||
He just ran out of gas. | ||
And then there's also the issue of steroids. | ||
There's an issue of hormones. | ||
And he says that he got popped and then they kept him off for a year. | ||
And he said that the reason why he did it was because he had a shoulder injury and a doctor prescribed it to him. | ||
He didn't know there was testosterone in it. | ||
Which is possible. | ||
But then when he got off of it, it showed that his testosterone was like super low. | ||
Like when he lost to Bigfoot, they did a test on him and they found his testosterone was very low. | ||
Like in the 190 range, I think they said it was, which is very low. | ||
And it's actually kind of dangerous. | ||
Like, you're not supposed to be a professional athlete when you're fucking level so low. | ||
unidentified
|
What's your take on all the dudes doing the TRT? Well, here's the issue. | |
One, trauma stops your body's production of testosterone. | ||
It's been proven. | ||
The pituitary gland apparently is very sensitive. | ||
There's a guy named Dr. Mark Gordon... | ||
Who was a specialist and he worked with James Toney, he's worked with a bunch of football players and a bunch of people coming back from the war. | ||
Traumatic brain injury, one of the things that happens is your body loses its ability to produce hormones. | ||
And so a lot of guys who've taken head trauma, their test levels drop. | ||
So then it becomes the question of, okay, if you need to take testosterone because your test levels are dropping because you've taken a lot of head trauma, at what point in time are we going to keep you away from head trauma? | ||
Is there ever? | ||
Do we just allow it as long as you can keep supplementing with hormones? | ||
We allow you to keep getting in there? | ||
Even though your body's like, look, you've rattled our cage. | ||
We're not producing testosterone anymore. | ||
Well, that's okay. | ||
We're just going to get it from a needle. | ||
Fine. | ||
We're just going to get right back in there. | ||
I think as a person who values personal freedom, I certainly think they should be able to do that. | ||
The question becomes, though, when they do it, how much should they really be able to get? | ||
How do we really closely regulate it? | ||
Because it looks like some people get more than others. | ||
Some people, their bodies radically change, and all of a sudden they look like super athletes when they were kind of doughy just a couple of fights before. | ||
That's obviously something a little bit bigger than just bringing your levels up to a normal range. | ||
It seems like they're hyper-levels. | ||
I don't know if it's the case, but it looks like that. | ||
You'd obviously have to test them on a daily basis to really get an accurate read of what their levels are. | ||
But the thing is, unless you're randomly testing them on a regular basis, people can cheat. | ||
And there's ways that people can cheat anyway. | ||
There's ways people use fake dicks. | ||
People have been like Tom Sizemore apparently tried to use a fake dick when he was at a rehab place. | ||
He wanted to go to a halfway house. | ||
God bless them. | ||
The guy pulls out a fake hog. | ||
He's trying to piss it in a cup. | ||
And they're like, what are you doing? | ||
That's a fake dick! | ||
Are you crazy? | ||
They sell them in weed magazines. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, there's a lot of people, man. | ||
That's the reality of their job. | ||
You know, you have to be clean. | ||
But I think TRT is a tricky situation. | ||
I think, hey, freedom of being a human and if you need it in your life, yeah. | ||
But if I was a fighter or a fan of the fighting game... | ||
It's tricky. | ||
To me, it's almost as controversial as men transsexuals. | ||
Men that become women and they want to compete as women. | ||
Because there's already been one of those. | ||
And there's one in basketball as well. | ||
I think that's just as controversial as adding testosterone and being able to fight. | ||
I shouldn't say that. | ||
It's not just as controversial. | ||
But... | ||
It's, you know, it's close. | ||
I mean, the testosterone's weird. | ||
The idea that you can just put it in your body and then go out there and fight as if, like, you're so good, like, your body's producing that much testosterone. | ||
You're that aggressive. | ||
No. | ||
Like, as you get older, your body starts slowing down, like, naturally. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
So, if you want to still compete, and you want to still compete like a young man, that is the way to do it. | ||
The question is, how old should you be when you're allowed to do that? | ||
Like, if it's a 46-year-old Randy Couture, you go, okay, I get it. | ||
Yeah, give him a go. | ||
But he wasn't even doing it. | ||
Right. | ||
But if it's a 27-year-old guy, which there have been, there's been guys as young as 25. How old is Vitor? | ||
He's in his 30s. | ||
Like 34 or something, right? | ||
Let's find out. | ||
That's not very old. | ||
No, it's not. | ||
unidentified
|
Because I'm 31. Yeah, I know a couple of guys do it. | |
He's 36. The thing to me was like, you know, they love it. | ||
They feel great and all this. | ||
And then they have to do the needle every day and everything. | ||
No, no. | ||
Once a week. | ||
You do it once a week. | ||
Or you put on cream every day. | ||
If they're doing a needle every day, they're crazy. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
They're gangster. | ||
Oh, maybe I'm mistaken. | ||
But still, it's like, you know... | ||
And I was like, alright, well, for how long? | ||
Forever. | ||
Forever. | ||
I'm like, ah. | ||
Yeah, it's like, forever's not real. | ||
That's part of the problem. | ||
But if you want your body to work really good right now, that's the solution. | ||
The question to me is not testosterone replacement as, like, a practice. | ||
Because I feel like I would take anything that makes my body work better. | ||
I'll take vitamins. | ||
I'll take whatever makes it work better. | ||
Like, they say you're going to do it forever. | ||
I'm going to brush my teeth forever, too. | ||
There's a lot of shit I'm going to do forever that I'm not scared of. | ||
Your teeth will be gone someday. | ||
Look at some new ones, man. | ||
I've seen Mike Goldberg's got some new front teeth. | ||
They're beautiful. | ||
Amazing. | ||
Lost in playing hockey. | ||
They just screw those bitches in place. | ||
Now we know. | ||
You got it too, right? | ||
You got like a post in your mouth and they screw a fake tooth up in there. | ||
I gotta get one. | ||
I'm actually due for one right now. | ||
That's a crazy little operation there, man. | ||
Wait, when you get the front teeth fake, do you still have to do the rods, like what I do, or like the titanium rods? | ||
I think they screwed it right into his head. | ||
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
Yeah, I think that's how they make sure that the teeth stay. | ||
And when they do that, they're apparently super strong. | ||
It's just like a regular tooth. | ||
They have these incredible composite teeth now. | ||
They're really tough and well-made. | ||
They look exactly like your teeth. | ||
I mean, his shit looks perfect. | ||
Chew wood. | ||
It's amazing. | ||
Well, some people have fucking gotten their teeth hacked down to put caps on them to make them more pretty. | ||
I know a lot of people that did that. | ||
That's pretty crazy, man. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's pretty crazy. | ||
Just for cosmetics, you're gonna go with a full mouth of fake teeth. | ||
Hey, look how pretty my teeth are. | ||
You know, you get a toupee for a mouth. | ||
Yeah. | ||
On Teddy Roosevelt style. | ||
You see so much in this town, though. | ||
I know so many people that got that done. | ||
Yes. | ||
A friend of mine did it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's creepy. | ||
Yeah, it's weird. | ||
It's too white. | ||
It's weird. | ||
Yeah, I don't... | ||
Yeah. | ||
I don't know. | ||
I mean, I guess bleach your teeth if you smoke cigarettes. | ||
Yeah, I need to do it. | ||
But that testosterone thing, I think it's a beginning, bro. | ||
And this is the real problem. | ||
It's not testosterone. | ||
It's not human growth hormone. | ||
It's the inevitability. | ||
The inevitability of biological engineering. | ||
The inevitability that science, technology, all of them will combine because there's a massive market for figuring out how to make the human body work better. | ||
Kurzweil told me when I interviewed him that we are a decade away from inventing red blood cells that are artificial that will allow you to hold your breath for four hours. | ||
He said you'll be able to sit at the bottom of the pool for four hours, a regular person. | ||
You don't have to be a super athlete. | ||
You don't have to be a monk. | ||
You don't have to be some fucking dude who lives in the mountains just eating raw salmon for a year practicing kata. | ||
No, just one dude has some artificial blood cells injected into his system. | ||
Take a deep breath and you have plenty of oxygen for four hours. | ||
It's fucking crazy. | ||
And he said it's inevitable. | ||
It's coming. | ||
They're already working on it. | ||
That's gonna be awesome. | ||
Dude, there's going to be no sense in working out. | ||
Go spearfishing. | ||
But then, when there's no sense in working out, it's almost like, are we going to be spoiled? | ||
Is it going to be like the same thing that has fucked a lot of people when they have so much access to entertainment? | ||
It's made kids lazy because they sit in front of the TV and vegetate. | ||
They're not as creative or active as younger kids. | ||
I mean, that's the argument. | ||
What is it going to be like when you can just be a superhero? | ||
Boats are going to go out of business. | ||
You could fly. | ||
Let's just go to Catalina Island. | ||
There's a difference. | ||
unidentified
|
You could walk. | |
Yeah, you're going to be able to fucking hold your breath underwater and walk across to Catalina. | ||
And all you have to do is get to the surface, take a deep breath, and go right the fuck back under, and you're good for another four hours. | ||
Jesus Christ! | ||
Take a little baby oxygen tank, you could just walk on the ground the whole way. | ||
No problem. | ||
But we'll be a people of no fortitude. | ||
Well, they're also working on skin, artificial skin, that they merge human DNA with spider silk. | ||
It sounds like a goddamn comic book. | ||
It sounds like Spider-Man. | ||
But they're literally going to have artificial skin that's bulletproof. | ||
So you're going to have skin on your body that's like your skin. | ||
It looks like skin. | ||
But it's fucking bulletproof. | ||
Like literally nothing can hurt it. | ||
That's possible. | ||
I mean it's not something I'm inventing with my imagination. | ||
This is like something that they've... | ||
It's a proof of concept idea that they're taking from like the laboratory and they're starting to try to see if they could actually develop this. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Jesus Christ! | ||
If it's pliable, you can still get choked out. | ||
That's so true! | ||
You just jump on their back. | ||
Maybe that'll be, at the end, when people become impossible to knock out, it'll all be about jiu-jitsu. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You just gotta get to that neck. | ||
No more MMA. Let MMA go. | ||
Bulletproof. | ||
You're not choke-proof, dog. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, there's a dude named Rafael Dos Anjos, and he got his jaw broke in a fight, and now he said his jaw is a weapon because he's had so many titanium. | ||
He's got titanium plates and like eight screws in his jaw, and two dudes in a row have broken their hand on his jaw. | ||
Because he's like, my jaw's a weapon now. | ||
Like, it doesn't knock me... | ||
Apparently, when you get your jaw fixed, too, like, that issue of, like, your jaw getting tinked, sometimes that goes away. | ||
Not for every dude, but for some dudes, you can't knock them out as easy. | ||
Like, once your jaw gets fixed, apparently it's, like, stiffer. | ||
More structurally sound. | ||
It stays in place better, yeah. | ||
It doesn't break as easy because they got screws and plates in it and wires and shit in it. | ||
And it's harder to get knocked out. | ||
So this dude is like, I mean, what happens if someone, like, they just start making fake bones? | ||
Like Wolverine style. | ||
Everybody has a scar from the top of their head all the way down to their ass crack because they just fucking pulled you out of that bitch and put some fucking good fake bones on you and now you never get hurt. | ||
You just run around with fucking carbon fiber bones. | ||
Running through walls and shit. | ||
Kicking people with like an aluminum bat. | ||
Hell yeah. | ||
Sign me up. | ||
Fight to the death territory. | ||
It's happening, man. | ||
Well, there'll be no competition anymore. | ||
That's the real issue. | ||
The real issue is like competition in sports is a big part of what like sedates the masses. | ||
It keeps people like tuned into that as like a method of conquest. | ||
unidentified
|
Hey, we're going to fucking kick the Lakers' ass tonight. | |
When meanwhile, they're completely sedentary. | ||
They're existing in this fucking maze, this fake world, and they're getting their gladiator instincts out through that. | ||
Well, if that all goes away, they're going to have to seek some sort of other release for this. | ||
And that's an issue that people face. | ||
And when you give people some sort of distraction, that's 46% are going to go right for it. | ||
unidentified
|
Right? | |
That's what we gotta fix. | ||
Gotta fix that. | ||
Just cut out the number of dummies. | ||
Call the herd. | ||
How are you gonna do it, though? | ||
You say that. | ||
Okay, let me ask you this. | ||
If Everlast, if you were an alien from another planet, super smart, had your shit together totally, and you came to Earth, and you can do whatever the fuck you want. | ||
You're an alien. | ||
You're from a thousand million years in the future. | ||
Okay, so I have no conscience or... | ||
Well, you have conscience, but people are below you. | ||
Towards humanity. | ||
If you came upon, let me ask you this, if you came upon a village, and the village was run by a bunch of rabid monkeys, there was millions of them, they were fucking up everything, throwing shit at people, stealing candy, mugging babies, you would want to start killing monkeys, right? | ||
Well, monkeys are intelligent little animals. | ||
If something is so far advanced from us that it can get here from Alpha Centauri in a metal ship, who knows how they're going to think about us. | ||
They might look at us as like, oh this is this dangerous stage that a being gets when it's starting to transcend from its animal instincts into this This new emergent consciousness, this group consciousness that's inevitable for this species. | ||
But right now it's crazy. | ||
Right now it's running around fucking shooting guns at each other and smashing each other on the highway and polluting things and dumping shit in the ocean and pulling out all the fish and leaving a giant garbage patch in the middle of the ocean going to punk rock shows and fucking Rage Against the Machine. | ||
Maybe they're like, oh, these bitches aren't ready. | ||
They're not ready. | ||
They're not ready. | ||
We've got to kill some of them. | ||
How are we going to kill some of them? | ||
Who do you want to kill? | ||
You've got to kill the stupid ones. | ||
But we need them to work. | ||
The robot technology is not ready for McDonald's yet. | ||
You can't have robot workers making you cheeseburgers. | ||
So until that time, what the fuck do you do? | ||
If you were an alien and you had the say... | ||
Well, you know, you're giving me, like, a kind-hearted alien scenario. | ||
Like, I'm an alien with a conscience. | ||
I could also be the alien that comes and looks at it like, well, there's this anthill, and it's in my garden, and it's kind of serving a purpose, but it's getting too big. | ||
So I just gotta stomp out half of these fucking animals. | ||
Maybe they just throw an asteroid our way. | ||
Maybe that's what fucked up the dinosaurs. | ||
Hey, all you gotta do is change the degrees of the planet by three in either direction, and the whole world's fucked. | ||
Well, all they have to do... | ||
Here's what. | ||
Pull the plug. | ||
Don't just put... | ||
What do they call that one? | ||
Electromagnetic pulse. | ||
It's easy. | ||
Put the lights out. | ||
Survival of the fittest. | ||
Well, one solar flare would do that, right? | ||
One gigantic solar flare would at least shut us down until we figured out how to reboot things. | ||
Clear hard drive. | ||
Unless you have some electronics already put into a container. | ||
In the round, deep in the ground. | ||
They don't have to be deep in the ground. | ||
They just have to be well sealed within a metal container. | ||
You can get an old style metal garbage can. | ||
Really? | ||
Take a fucking plastic bag. | ||
Like, put a plastic bag in it like you're gonna use real trash, put a bunch of walkie-talkies and stuff of the like in there, close the plastic bag, tie it up, bang, put the lid back on it, and tape that motherfucker, seal it shut somehow, and like, if you ever did have that electromagnetic pulse, those things would still be good afterwards. | ||
Bro, are you a prepper? | ||
No, but I'm prepared, though. | ||
Are you doomsday prepping? | ||
You got electronics in a garbage bag anywhere. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I'm going to Everlast House if the shit hits the fan. | ||
Dude, I got storage units full of water, dawg. | ||
Do you really? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Damn, dude. | ||
That's smart and practical. | ||
You know what's freaking me out lately? | ||
Not to freak people out. | ||
I'm not on some crazy shit looking like Hurricane Sandy. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Look at anything like that. | ||
When your whole block doesn't have anything and nobody shows up for a week. | ||
Listen, my good friend lived through that. | ||
My good friend Tommy Jr., he told me that they had to drive four hours to use their cell phones. | ||
Like, your phone wouldn't work anywhere. | ||
You had to drive, like, way the fuck out. | ||
He lives in Connecticut, like, right near the New York border. | ||
And he had to drive, you know, fucking hours. | ||
They said that food was nowhere. | ||
Like, within a day, food was gone everywhere. | ||
People were, like, going to Dunkin' Donuts and waiting in line at Dunkin' Donuts just to get something to fill your belly. | ||
And they're running out of food. | ||
I mean, there's, like, almost nothing left. | ||
He said it was crazy, and he said it happened so fast. | ||
He was like... | ||
He goes, you would think... | ||
This is how Tommy Jr. talks. | ||
He goes, you would think they were prepared, right? | ||
You would think, well, let's see. | ||
If the power goes out for a week, we're going to need this amount of emergency food, so let's have it nearby. | ||
He goes, fuck that, dude. | ||
He goes, they weren't prepared at all. | ||
It was every man for themselves. | ||
And he goes, and it really made you realize how fucking scary things could get like that. | ||
He goes, because this wasn't shit. | ||
He goes, it was a big storm. | ||
But he was talking about... | ||
Think about all the things that have happened throughout history. | ||
In the human history that we know of that was way bigger than that. | ||
And think about all the shit that happened in the dark, dark past of the fucking earth. | ||
When we know mountains were formed. | ||
Let's put a couple of major events. | ||
And now just string a couple of those major events together. | ||
Like say... | ||
Something even larger than Sandy. | ||
Something Katrina-ish. | ||
And then let's just say at the same time, it's far-fetched, but it ain't impossible. | ||
Remember when that volcano went off and nobody could fly for fucking? | ||
I was stuck in Europe, dog. | ||
So let's say combine it with some super volcano eruption, it's not that hard. | ||
I'm not even talking about schemes or disasters at the end of the world. | ||
I'm talking about motherfuckers get hungry, they get vicious, man. | ||
And I'm going to keep mines. | ||
Yeah, and we don't have... | ||
Our life is not set up organically right now. | ||
Our life is set up to revolve around the grid. | ||
And until people develop as much food and as much access to food organically as they do by getting things shipped and carrying them from here and there... | ||
If you're not responsible for the production and cultivation of your own food, which most people don't have the opportunity to be... | ||
Then you're not autonomous. | ||
And if you can't support yourself and some shit hits the fan, you've got a real problem. | ||
Because also you have a problem with other people. | ||
Hence why I want to learn to hunt something, God forbid. | ||
Whether trucks stop coming into the supermarkets. | ||
You know, I got... | ||
You ask me for my prepper, I guess. | ||
Yeah, I guess I am. | ||
Because I'm fucking ready, dog. | ||
Well, I'm going to get you with Steve Rinella, man. | ||
I'm ready for like that. | ||
I'll get to wherever I've got to get. | ||
If there's a certain amount of time. | ||
There's going on... | ||
Also, I believe, you know, living in our society, it's like even if something bad did happen, you're only talking about at the worst. | ||
You need to be able to hold yourself accountable for yourself for about three months at its worst. | ||
That's what I figure, you know what I mean? | ||
Unless we're talking about some nuclear disaster, and it's like, who the fuck wants to be here anyways? | ||
Take me out when that motherfucker happens. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Yeah, that's the thing, right? | ||
It's like, how much damage do you want done to the earth before you're like, Jesus, I don't want to be here. | ||
You know, I don't want to be here for cannibal days, right? | ||
Wouldn't you rather be dead than, like, see people cannibalizing people? | ||
Pull up on a ranch, like, hey, do you guys got any food? | ||
And you see them fucking sawing a leg in the backyard, and you're like, oh, Jesus. | ||
They're eating people. | ||
Right? | ||
That's gonna happen. | ||
I mean, it would fucking happen. | ||
Without a doubt, it would happen. | ||
It's possible. | ||
It's happened in the past. | ||
The Nez Perce Indians apparently were big on cannibalism. | ||
They were cannibalizing the fuck out of people because they lived in Montana and shit got real cold in the winter. | ||
And it's hard to find deer and it's even harder to shoot them with a fucking bow and arrow. | ||
So when you stumble upon some people that are just living in some wooden house, you're like, oh yeah, we got some food here. | ||
Just eat those fucking people. | ||
That was a couple hundred years ago, man. | ||
There's all kinds of witchcrafty things that go with that, too. | ||
Witchcrafty. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's something I don't want to investigate. | ||
Spiritual beliefs about eating humans and how powers it bestows upon the eaters. | ||
General butt naked. | ||
Did you ever see that? | ||
Sometimes it's not a power thing. | ||
Sometimes it's like... | ||
There's a Nicholas Sneebaum. | ||
He wrote a book called Keep Your River on Your Left or on the Right or whatever. | ||
And he ate people... | ||
He practiced cannibalism with a specific culture, and they did it when a relative died. | ||
And when the relative died, there'd be this ceremony where they would all get together and pray and sing, or it was just mourning. | ||
Some sort of mourning. | ||
I don't even know if they did anything. | ||
But then they would consume ritually certain parts of the family member all together. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, what the fuck? | |
That's dark. | ||
I don't want to eat people and I definitely don't want to eat my grandma. | ||
I definitely want it to be a stranger. | ||
But sometimes it's not a survival thing. | ||
Sometimes it's not a war thing. | ||
Sometimes it's just like... | ||
That's one of my jokes, though, like whenever we're on planes or something, and if we go down, y'all could eat me, man. | ||
It's okay. | ||
Yeah, I would trade my grandmother for somebody else, you know? | ||
Like, hey, you can have my grandmother to eat, I'll take your daughter. | ||
They're obviously not doing it to enjoy it, you know? | ||
Yeah, it's just, I guess somehow or another, I think they're consuming something of the person that brings them closer to that person or something, or just finalizing the idea in their mind that they're gone. | ||
Religion. | ||
Something. | ||
Have you ever been to a funeral with an open casket? | ||
Yeah. | ||
My father's. | ||
My grandfather was the only one I've ever been to. | ||
It was very strange. | ||
It was tough. | ||
It didn't seem like him. | ||
No. | ||
You know? | ||
Even though I know it was him, I was like, where is he? | ||
He's not there. | ||
No, they aren't there. | ||
That's the bizarrest part. | ||
It's like, you know. | ||
So strange. | ||
It's the argument for that divine spark or that soul. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
It's like, because it's not there. | ||
The same thing that the shell's there. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
But it doesn't even look real. | ||
It doesn't look like the same. | ||
And I know he was made up a little bit and all this, but I'm saying just there was something... | ||
Yeah, I don't know what the fuck it is. | ||
Not right about it. | ||
I don't know what that transition is, but I have a feeling it's just not what we think it is. | ||
I think the idea of life and death is just... | ||
What you're dealing with is one tiny frame in a fractal universe. | ||
I remember only one thing from the experience. | ||
What do you remember? | ||
Just a voice. | ||
What'd it say? | ||
Suck it. | ||
It was like a voice that was just familiar, comfortable, kind of like your grandfather's voice, but I wouldn't say it was my grandfather's voice, but you understand what I'm saying. | ||
It was just saying... | ||
Like I was in the wrong place kind of vibe. | ||
I don't even know if it was words or just a feeling that was being conveyed to me. | ||
Right, like you're going to come back. | ||
But it was definitely the only conscious thing I can remember from the whatever several minutes that I was supposedly dead. | ||
Wow. | ||
That's trippy, dude. | ||
You've been to the other side. | ||
Maybe that's why you're so bluesy. | ||
I don't know, man. | ||
I'm just saying. | ||
It's like, I just remember feeling like a very comfortable, like, accentuated ease kind of voice when you heard it. | ||
Wow. | ||
And it was just like, nah, nah, you ain't supposed to be here kind of thing, like. | ||
A lot of people have said that. | ||
A lot of people that have gone through that said that. | ||
But, you know, the fractal nature of the universe, I mean, I don't know why it's so weird for people to think that something happens after they die. | ||
Like you showed up at your grandpa's house too early for your own surprise party. | ||
That's how it felt, kind of like. | ||
Wow. | ||
And your grandpa was trying to be like, nah, don't, don't. | ||
That's the weirdest way I can put it. | ||
I wonder if what it is is just, we think that this life is all there is, because this is what we're experiencing. | ||
But this is just a temporary blip. | ||
This is just one stage and an infinite number of stages, and we leave this and go into the next one, and we shouldn't be scared of it. | ||
Well, that's the realization that I believe most people call your life flashing before your eyes, is the summation that your life was... | ||
Like when I was laying on the table and they were rolling me in for that operation, I was pretty much convinced I was dying. | ||
Like, I was going to die. | ||
I mean, the way they were panicking, the way my chest felt... | ||
And I knew I was born with this thing. | ||
I was like, oh wow, I'm checking out. | ||
This is it. | ||
And the whole time I was just sitting there, I wasn't consumed with fear. | ||
There was fear. | ||
There was just this summation of, that's my life. | ||
That quick. | ||
Wow, everything that I've ever done has been only that long. | ||
From the minute I was born to now, that's it. | ||
And it wouldn't have mattered if I lived 40 more years. | ||
That would have been the exact same realization. | ||
That your whole life is. | ||
So time is irrelevant. | ||
Time is an illusion. | ||
Time is something we made up. | ||
We're living and we've slowed ourselves down by counting seconds. | ||
That's interesting. | ||
See, people always say that time is an illusion. | ||
That's a very popular thing to say. | ||
I think time is totally real. | ||
But I think it doesn't matter. | ||
I think the thing is so big that your idea of time is such a joke. | ||
Like, your idea of time is like you measuring seconds in infinity. | ||
That's what I mean. | ||
It's like you're clinging to something that's impossible to cling to because although it is real and it can be measured... | ||
It's also movable. | ||
It doesn't matter. | ||
It's movable. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
You can move time. | ||
How can you move time? | ||
I mean, you do it all the time in small increments when you, like, make these realizations of, like... | ||
All of a sudden you're somewhere. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Just that little small realization. | ||
Time is perception. | ||
It's not an illusion. | ||
It's a perception. | ||
I see what you're saying. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
So it's all in the way you perceive it. | ||
I can get on a 14 hour flight to Australia and zone out and I feel like I'm there in an hour. | ||
Right. | ||
Is that time traveling? | ||
It's also you can... | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
I know what you're saying. | ||
I know what you're saying. | ||
It's like you are, even though this time is passing, it's not passing for you. | ||
You're going somewhere else. | ||
Yeah. | ||
So where is it? | ||
Are you moving through time? | ||
What are you doing during that time? | ||
There was 17 hours unaccounted for. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Yeah, and you just vegetated and lost it. | ||
Took a nap. | ||
Came to the... | ||
But, you know... | ||
When I used to take acid a lot, they would have it all the time. | ||
I'd sit there, take acid, and I'd watch the fucking sun go down and come up, and it would seem like the span of 15 minutes. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I don't think that counts. | ||
I don't think that counts with time travel. | ||
I think it's relevant. | ||
I think it's related. | ||
I don't think it would survive peer review. | ||
I think if you brought that to a university and you're like, look, I figured out time travel. | ||
I'd drop ass in. | ||
I'd watch the sunset, bitch. | ||
They'd be like, thank you, Mr. Everlast. | ||
They'd probably say you're closer than you think. | ||
We really appreciate your contribution. | ||
Yeah, you're right. | ||
They would say you're closer than you think. | ||
Because in terms of infinity, I mean, you really did time travel. | ||
If you decide to put a lot of energy on 14 hours and like, God, when is this going to end? | ||
That shit will drag on forever. | ||
A watched pot doesn't boil. | ||
Exactly. | ||
But it does. | ||
The problem is it really does boil. | ||
But doesn't it take longer? | ||
Doesn't it seem to take very much longer? | ||
It seems to because you're not enjoying the experience. | ||
I think everything is a matter of how much you're enjoying the experience. | ||
Because you're moving the time around. | ||
It's how you're using that time and you're moving it. | ||
Right. | ||
And so in that sense, the more joy and love you have in your time, the less time feels like it's passing. | ||
Absolutely. | ||
So that's the key. | ||
unidentified
|
I'd agree with that. | |
So make things so they don't ever stretch out. | ||
It's always like one big fun experience. | ||
So you're always time traveling. | ||
Does that make sense? | ||
But then how would you know what fun was if there was no painful one? | ||
You have to experience it at an early age or get a microchip and they stick it in the back of your head. | ||
unidentified
|
Like this is the Robert Johnson special. | |
Speaking of that, it's a good transition to music. | ||
We haven't done any fucking songs. | ||
How long have we been talking it up? | ||
Hours, dude. | ||
Two hours in five minutes. | ||
Yeah, it's 545 right now, man. | ||
Damn! | ||
We give zero fucks. | ||
And, you know, Everlast, it's always a pleasure when you come on here, man. | ||
It's always fun to just sit down and talk to you. | ||
I gotta promote, though. | ||
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. | ||
You're here to have fun. | ||
Whoa, whoa. | ||
We went loud again. | ||
I forgot we're on the singing mic. | ||
Life Acoustic. | ||
Yeah, the Life Acoustic, which is kind of the Rogan audience is at least more than a little responsible for this record existing. | ||
Well, listen, I'm honored. | ||
I mean, I've done acoustic stuff at radio stations and stuff, but when I came in here and did it, people started actually calling and booking shows for it. | ||
That's awesome. | ||
Everybody said they'd buy it, so I'm going to hold y'all accountable. | ||
Joe has like 500,000 followers. | ||
Go get it. | ||
Let's try and Get every one of y'all to buy two of them. | ||
Yeah, I'm going to put that on Twitter. | ||
I'm going to put it on Twitter. | ||
Where can people get it if I put it up right now? | ||
Oh, it's on iTunes or martyr-inc.com. | ||
We'll take you to all my stuff. | ||
You know, all my Twitters and Instagrammables and Facebookers. | ||
Brian, find a link and tweet it to me so I can tweet it. | ||
What are you going to play now, man? | ||
Let's do a little cover. | ||
We were talking about some of this a little earlier. | ||
Do you take requests? | ||
If I know it. | ||
Can you do an American band? | ||
No. | ||
Not today. | ||
I've been obsessed with that song for the last two weeks. | ||
I've been an American band. | ||
Grand Funk Railroad, bro. | ||
I'll try and have it for you next time. | ||
I'll have a very sad version of it next time. | ||
Oh, no! | ||
Oh, you will. | ||
You'll crush my dreams. | ||
You will, man. | ||
You'll turn into homeless people and junkies and shit. | ||
It'll be beautiful. | ||
What are we going to do here? | ||
As soon as you're born, they make you feel small By giving you no time instead of it all | ||
Until the pain is so big that you can't feel it all A working class hero is something big A working class hero is something big | ||
class hero is something to be They hurt you at home, they hit you in school They hear when you're clever, they despise a fool Until you're so fucking crazy you can't follow that rule. | ||
A working class hero is something to be. | ||
A working class hero is something to be They torture and scare you for 20 odd years And now they expect you to pick a career But you can't even function | ||
you're so filled with fear A working class hero is something to be A working class hero is something B They keep you doped with religion and sex and TV And | ||
you think you're so clever and classless and free But you're all fucking business as far as I see. | ||
A working class hero is something B. A working class hero is something B. There's room at the top, | ||
But they are telling you still But first you must learn how to smile as you kill You wanna be like the folks on the hill. | ||
A working class hero is something to be A working class hero is something to be If you want a real hero then don't follow me If you want a real hero then come follow me If you want a real hero | ||
Then don't follow me That was fucking badass. | ||
Holy shit. | ||
That's my favorite version of that song. | ||
That was beautiful. | ||
Somebody actually from your crew, People's, and my People's on my Twitter, I think requested that last time. | ||
I said, that's not a bad idea. | ||
Dude, that's my favorite version of the song, though. | ||
That was beautiful. | ||
This is John Lennon. | ||
Goddamn, he was a bad motherfucker, John Lennon. | ||
He wrote some interesting stuff, man. | ||
What's up with that Yoko Ono thing, though? | ||
How'd that happen? | ||
I don't know, but this dude showed me that. | ||
The Bill Burr one? | ||
Yes! | ||
I would play it. | ||
We played it twice already. | ||
We can't play it again. | ||
I knew that comedian guy. | ||
I always found it funny, but I never heard the Yoko Ono bit until he showed it to me. | ||
He's beautiful. | ||
Bill Burr is beautiful. | ||
Guys like him are so important to me. | ||
Because there's only like 10 of them. | ||
There's only 10 of them that are that good, that are out there, that point shit out like that, and are honest about how they feel about shit. | ||
Like, his take on John Leno, like, you fucking crazy cunt, why are you yelling out? | ||
I'm here singing with Chuck fucking Barry. | ||
unidentified
|
You can't leave me alone. | |
It's so funny. | ||
It's so funny. | ||
Bill Burr is beautiful. | ||
He's beautiful. | ||
So, guys like that are so important. | ||
Joey Diaz has his fucking take on the Candelabra movie. | ||
The Liberace movie. | ||
It is the funniest fucking thing I have ever seen in my life. | ||
You gotta see Joey Diaz's bit on it. | ||
It is so funny. | ||
Is it up on the YouTube channel? | ||
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
I don't think he's put it on anything. | ||
It's so funny. | ||
It hurts my balls. | ||
I haven't seen that flick yet. | ||
I gotta check it out. | ||
Oh, it's beautiful. | ||
It's brilliant and it's beautiful. | ||
It really is beautiful. | ||
Saying that about a movie that's about a gay dude who's a gay pimp who's just giving these dudes amphetamines and banging them and playing piano and making hundreds of millions of dollars. | ||
Just running it. | ||
He was a bad motherfucker, dude. | ||
Liberace was a bad motherfucker. | ||
But that was his game. | ||
That's what he did. | ||
He paid for their surgery. | ||
He made his boyfriend get surgery so he looks like him. | ||
Do you know how gangster that is? | ||
He made the guy get a chin implant so he looks like Liberace. | ||
Oh, God. | ||
unidentified
|
Dude! | |
That's so heavy. | ||
That's so heavy. | ||
You want to see something that freaks you out? | ||
You want to see this? | ||
Put on that video, when Liberace winks at me. | ||
Because you know, for the longest time, and I've played this before, I apologize to people who have heard this podcast, and they listen to everyone, they go, you gonna play that fucking song again? | ||
The only reason being is because Everlast is here. | ||
I just want you to see, from a cultural standpoint, how strange things must have been in the 1950s, where this was like a real thing. | ||
There was a woman, she was writing a letter to the Liberace fan club. | ||
Because she's a huge fan of Liberace now. | ||
And she goes crazy and swoons when Liberace winks at her. | ||
And so there's Liberace playing piano on the TV, and she's sitting there writing her letter and swooning. | ||
And look at this. | ||
unidentified
|
I'm dropping you this line. | |
I'd like to join your fan club. | ||
This shit was only 60 years ago, dude. | ||
I found a brand new idol. | ||
unidentified
|
He's charming as can be. | |
I really just had a stranger that tears on me. | ||
Now check this out. | ||
unidentified
|
Look at the TV. Now watch when he winks. | |
Are you gonna play along Brian? | ||
Check this. | ||
Look at this wink. | ||
unidentified
|
Isn't that a weird noise? | |
That's his wink! | ||
It's a piano key when he winks. | ||
It sounds like a computer made it, though. | ||
unidentified
|
No, it's just a key. | |
Well, it's because they added it in, in a shitty, ancient fucking system on wax. | ||
unidentified
|
Listen to this. | |
Oh, there's no wink. | ||
He tricked us. | ||
He's gonna wink again though, I guarantee you. | ||
How strange though. | ||
That he was like a matinee idol. | ||
And you came across this, why? | ||
I know, that's what I'm thinking. | ||
Well, I got really obsessed with the movie. | ||
I saw the movie. | ||
Well, I didn't even see the movie. | ||
I saw Joey Diaz talk about the movie first, and then I see him talk about it backstage, like when he was in the green room and we were dying laughing when he was talking about Liberace slinging dick, you know, like hypnotizing motherfuckers. | ||
And it was so funny. | ||
I had to watch the bit. | ||
So then he did this bit about it. | ||
So the bit is just ridiculous. | ||
It's Matt Damon and Liberace. | ||
I mean, it's an unbelievably hilarious bit. | ||
So then I watched the movie, and I was like, oh, shit, this is a good movie, man. | ||
Like, this is an interesting story. | ||
It's a young guy who fell for the charms of an old, rich, gay guy, and he just got gangster with him. | ||
And he's just there taking pills, and he's... | ||
He's got a fucking pump that keeps his dick hard so he's hard all the time. | ||
He can never get satisfied. | ||
Liberace was just, he was a madman. | ||
Just a madman. | ||
He had a thing stuck, like a thing on his dick where he could just get his dick hard anytime he wants. | ||
He would just pump that bitch up. | ||
God bless him. | ||
I gotta see this flick. | ||
Oh, it's a beautiful flick. | ||
So then I started getting interested in Liberace. | ||
I started, like, researching all this shit about Liberace. | ||
I'm just gonna start winking at you when I'm playing over here. | ||
Hey, listen, man, I'm not homophobic. | ||
I'm interested in human beings and strange human characters. | ||
And that was an incredibly strange human character. | ||
And the only thing that kept me from looking into him in the past was, like, that weirdness about, like, doing a lot of research on a gay guy. | ||
Like a really obvious, like, why do you care about gay guys? | ||
Why don't you care about gay guys? | ||
He's just a human. | ||
I want to know what made that human. | ||
He was like an alpha gay piano gay guy. | ||
The ultimate! | ||
He made like a billion dollars playing the fucking piano. | ||
Who does that? | ||
Who does that? | ||
That's what I want to know. | ||
And he was a gangster when it came to his work ethic. | ||
He was doing multiple shows in Vegas, multiple per night, you know, and he was a bad motherfucker, a badass performer. | ||
He made a guy change his face. | ||
He used to come out with gigantic mink coats, like a thousand sables wrapped around his body. | ||
Playing with rings. | ||
You ever see those coats? | ||
Oh my goodness, he had fucking, he was the original gangster rapper. | ||
Oh nice. | ||
Nobody had, like, jewelry. | ||
Nobody had more bling than Liberace. | ||
He was the original. | ||
The gangster rappers, they copied Liberace. | ||
It was Liberace first, then Mr. T. All the B-Boy jewelry stuff, man, and even probably Liberace style, it comes from old Jewish ladies, man. | ||
Seriously, like New York. | ||
Cazal glasses. | ||
That's true! | ||
Big gold rope chains, all that shit. | ||
It was like old Jewish ladies would rock this fine jewelry back in New York. | ||
And that's like, it was like the hot, it was the good shit. | ||
It was the nice shit. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah, man. | ||
I mean, like... | ||
Wow, that actually makes sense. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
That's hilarious. | ||
He dressed like rich. | ||
Cool Mojito. | ||
What about those? | ||
Well, those were just crazy glasses, man. | ||
I go to work. | ||
He's one of the greats, though. | ||
Oh, without a doubt. | ||
Dude, I go to work is a fucking badass jam to this day. | ||
Go see the doctor. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Kumo D was a real innovator. | ||
You know, out of those dudes that were around then, the most amazing to me is Nas. | ||
Like, Nas has never stopped being relevant at all. | ||
Well, Kumo D's a little bit before Nas, but... | ||
Yeah, but out of all those, like, 80s and 90s guys... | ||
Yeah. | ||
When was Nas around? | ||
Nas was around the 80s, right? | ||
Nas was, like, early 90s. | ||
Early 90s? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Hmm. | ||
I mean Nas is still young. | ||
His first record came out when he was like 16, 17 years old. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah. | ||
He doesn't age. | ||
He looks good for his age. | ||
Yeah, he's only 39. Wow, that's amazing. | ||
Well, I thought he was even a little younger than that. | ||
But I was pretty young back then too, so I guess. | ||
Makes sense. | ||
When I was like 20-something, he was probably... | ||
What is it about rappers that very few of them are like Jay-Z, that have this longevity and keep producing more rap that's relevant? | ||
Some of them, they get big and then they fall off. | ||
Is that record deal type shit? | ||
What is that? | ||
Pop music's that way. | ||
Pop music. | ||
Yeah, there's a lot of fall-offs even with those doo-wop bands back in the day. | ||
Everyone only remembers one or two groups. | ||
Well, the cat like Jay, too, he started independently, selling his own records and then came into the record business as his own full partner. | ||
A lot of these cats, they got what's called a 360 deal nowadays. | ||
The label gets everything. | ||
They get your merchandising, they get pieces of your touring. | ||
Back when I signed record deals, Back in the day. | ||
I'm my own label now. | ||
I do my own thing. | ||
I'm completely independent. | ||
But when I used to do major label deals, I didn't have to give them anything but a record. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Right. | ||
Now they want your publishing, they want your touring, they want your merchandising. | ||
They want your touring, too. | ||
Yeah, because nobody buys records, really. | ||
Merge. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
People buy singles. | ||
Nobody buys albums anymore. | ||
Say if you came along right now, those are the only deals that are available? | ||
Pretty much unless you've got something going on already. | ||
Like, unless you already have developed yourself a scene and you're earning on your own level, I'm sure you can go work yourself a deal somewhere. | ||
And how do musicians do that? | ||
But if you're doing that nowadays, it's like you almost don't even want to do that. | ||
You almost, it's like... | ||
For every advantage there is to have that million-dollar, billion-dollar machine behind you, there's disadvantages to it. | ||
Well, it seems like financially... | ||
You can't do what you want. | ||
I know of groups that have like... | ||
I know a group that the guy, the head singer, it's a group, fits in the tantrums, and this head singer supposedly just saved up a bunch of money and used his life savings to spearhead his group. | ||
He funded it himself. | ||
They hit the road. | ||
He hired good musicians. | ||
Shout out to James King. | ||
He just got good people on it, and they just toured, toured, toured, toured, toured. | ||
They did another album. | ||
The song got a little radio love here and there, internet love. | ||
It just goes from there. | ||
But if you're just some nobody, you're doing pageants or something like that, whatever, and you want to be famous, they're going to be like, whoa. | ||
What are you trying to do in the music business? | ||
Right, so if you're trying to do Star Search. | ||
If you want to be rich and famous, you're not going out and grinding it out in dirty clubs for 10 years. | ||
If you want to be rich and famous, you're taking whichever route you can get there. | ||
But that shit doesn't work, right? | ||
In order to get good, you kind of have to do... | ||
No, but a lot of them cats, that's what happens. | ||
They get turned out by labels. | ||
The label's done with them. | ||
They're not hot anymore. | ||
Labels used to develop arts. | ||
They stop supporting them. | ||
Jay-Z is a self-supporting entity. | ||
If the label left him behind, he is the label. | ||
He can't be left behind. | ||
Do you release all your own stuff? | ||
You own all your own stuff? | ||
Well, now. | ||
I mean, I didn't early on, but the last few albums, yeah. | ||
I just do all my own stuff. | ||
I release it myself. | ||
It gets a little better every year. | ||
More the fans tell other people that I'm still alive and that I'm still making good music. | ||
Then I sell a few more records and... | ||
Do some winks. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
A few winks, man. | ||
You never last winks at me. | ||
Maybe you should cover that. | ||
Well, then you'd have to do the girl version. | ||
That doesn't make sense. | ||
That's a girl song. | ||
Maybe you could do a version where a chick is talking, singing, and you're playing guitar. | ||
Shut the fuck up. | ||
There's no way to get away from that song. | ||
It was good you stepped away that quick. | ||
It's just too ancient, gay, and everything's wrong with it. | ||
It's a mess. | ||
It's a mess. | ||
The poor girl's on her knees. | ||
Like, what's happening there? | ||
It's a strange fucking video. | ||
It's very strange. | ||
I kept thinking it was Judy Garland, too. | ||
That's the crazy thing. | ||
Yeah, she had that look about her, right? | ||
That innocent 1950s woman look. | ||
It's definitely like a wannabe Julie Garland thing going on there. | ||
And they thought they were so sophisticated. | ||
They were so much further ahead than the Mongols or American Indians or any of the people before them. | ||
1950s? | ||
That's 50 years away from the 1800s, bitch. | ||
Age of innocence, right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
When we had separate but equal? | ||
How many is that? | ||
The 1950s is only 50 years away from 1899. I mean, that shit is like pioneer days. | ||
You know? | ||
This is a young-ass society. | ||
Cocaine and coke. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Cocaine was in coke. | ||
Cocaine and everything. | ||
Cocaine was in everything back then. | ||
If it was medicine, it had cocaine in it. | ||
Did you know that Coca-Cola still uses coca leaves? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
And they process them to make Coca-Cola, and they use the cocaine from those coca leaves for medical cocaine. | ||
There's a company that processes it for them. | ||
The biggest producer of medical cocaine. | ||
We've touched on it. | ||
This is when I talked about the documentary. | ||
Which one? | ||
Because there's a crazy documentary about Coca-Cola in South America being involved in all these sanctioned hits and guerrilla warfare and shit down there. | ||
What was the name of it? | ||
Do you remember the documentary? | ||
It's like the Coca-Cola cases or the Coca-Cola files. | ||
Here, let's shut it down again. | ||
Documentaryheaven.com. | ||
It's money, dude. | ||
It's all about money. | ||
There's too much money in coke. | ||
How are you gonna pass up on that? | ||
That's how the CIA got involved. | ||
They're like, come on. | ||
It's so much money. | ||
There's bread down there, man. | ||
You gotta sell it. | ||
Someone's buying it. | ||
Jesus Christ. | ||
So they just started doing it. | ||
Supply and demand. | ||
It is, right? | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
Illmatic was 94. That's when Nas started. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But his first record was like a year or two before that called Live at the Barbecue, our main sources album. | ||
So that was like 93, I think. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Maybe even 92. Yeah, he's got the most interesting lyrics. | ||
He's got really strange lyrics, you know? | ||
Like that one song from Stillmatic where he plays it in reverse. | ||
You know, the song, like the scenario plays out in reverse. | ||
Isn't it a song about being a gun? | ||
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
What is that song? | ||
I think it's called I'm a Gun. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Or something like that. | ||
No, no, no, no, no. | ||
I don't think so. | ||
Rewind. | ||
It's called Rewind. | ||
Oh, Rewind. | ||
Yeah, Got Yourself a Gun is the... | ||
No, that's a different song. | ||
But isn't the story about being... | ||
He has a song that's a story about him actually being a gun. | ||
Hmm. | ||
I believe it. | ||
No, I don't know. | ||
Maybe on that stillmatic? | ||
I don't know. | ||
On one of his other ones? | ||
It's all, you know, all those records are on a hard drive now, so it's not even in album categories. | ||
It's just Alyssa Nas songs. | ||
Yeah, how many physical CDs get sold now and how many get sold digitally? | ||
Do people still want this? | ||
Yeah. | ||
This one has a poster. | ||
More than you would think. | ||
Yeah, it's pretty dope. | ||
I love the artwork. | ||
Life Acoustic is what it's called. | ||
Yeah, my buddy Tristan Eaton did all the artwork. | ||
We just ripped off a Wes Anderson movie. | ||
Yeah, but it's beautiful. | ||
You know, it's a tribute. | ||
It's a tribute, yeah. | ||
It's a tribute. | ||
Yeah, no one's gonna, like, get confused. | ||
I mean, you use the same font. | ||
I mean, everyone, but it's really cool. | ||
unidentified
|
I don't think anybody thinks a movie's gonna be in my CD there. | |
No, and it's a cool name. | ||
I love it. | ||
So, what next? | ||
What about Jump Around? | ||
It says Jump Around on here, man. | ||
But we don't really have the drum situation worked out here. | ||
We can do it without drums, I guess. | ||
Oh, no, no, no. | ||
Don't do anything you don't want to do. | ||
I'm not wanting to. | ||
I just think it would be a little bit better if we had the drum thing worked out. | ||
Then don't listen to me. | ||
Do whatever you want to do. | ||
I want to hear whatever you want to do. | ||
Shit, man. | ||
I wouldn't want you telling me what jokes to do. | ||
I would forget how they go. | ||
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
By the way, my Twitter handle is Raven DeBanger. | ||
Raven DeBanger. | ||
DeBanger? | ||
DeBanger. | ||
D-A? D-A-B-A-N-G-E-R. Why do they call you Raven DeBanger? | ||
Or is that what you call yourself? | ||
I just made it up one day. | ||
It's just really high. | ||
My last name is like, you know, some breakdown of it means like Little Raven, right? | ||
And then DeBanger because like all the famous DJs sounded all like Dutch and stuff. | ||
They did? | ||
Oh, like Tiesto? | ||
Yeah, they just have these crazy European names, so I was like, oh, I'll just make it sound like... | ||
See, we have different ideas of who famous DJs are. | ||
Who's a famous DJ? Z-Trip. | ||
Like Paul Van Dyke or whatever. | ||
Grandmaster. | ||
Flash. | ||
It says, your Twitter name, you call yourself Black Beauty? | ||
Yeah, I'm with this guy, D.Y., we're all getting high, and once again, all bad stories start with that, and he's like, oh yeah, your hair is like... | ||
I'm going to call your hair Black Beauty, man. | ||
And so why did you just say, alright, guess what I'm called now? | ||
Because, you know, I'm just like, fuck it. | ||
Fuck it? | ||
Yeah, let them name you. | ||
You know, that's the Brazilian way. | ||
Brazilians, they all give themselves, like, silly nicknames. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I used to do Capoeira. | ||
I've heard all the silly nicknames. | ||
They're funny. | ||
Like, Pei Dupano, who's a famous jiu-jitsu guy. | ||
It's apparently like a cartoon. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
You know? | ||
Like, Pei Zhao is Bigfoot. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I was Avatar. | ||
Avatar? | ||
Yeah, because I had like a ponytail and I'm tall and lanky and shit. | ||
That's hilarious. | ||
They called you Avatar. | ||
That's funny. | ||
The tree of knowledge. | ||
Alright, what do you want to do, man? | ||
It's up to you. | ||
What is that? | ||
Is that a drum kit? | ||
Redband's getting down. | ||
Don't let him. | ||
Stop them now. | ||
Her skin was salty sweet. | ||
She wore sandals on her feet. | ||
Side by side we fell asleep in her mother's bed. | ||
She stepped inside of me. | ||
Said don't ever lie to me. | ||
This heart of mine can be yours. | ||
Yeah, that's what she said. | ||
But I just played the role. | ||
Broke the heart I stole Cause I was young and dumb and fucked up in the air. | ||
Do you want me love in real? | ||
Do you want me love for real? | ||
Do you want me love, girl? | ||
For real? | ||
Now I'm down by the river. | ||
I'm taking off my shoes. | ||
I'm jumping in water. | ||
unidentified
|
I wash away these blues. | |
I'm now into the ocean. | ||
The current takes hold. | ||
unidentified
|
Words already been spoken. | |
The sails already been told. | ||
Hearts already been broken. | ||
been healed. | ||
Do you want to be alive? | ||
Do you want me love for real? | ||
unidentified
|
You want me love for real? | |
Do you want me love for real? | ||
Do you want me love, girl? | ||
For real Do you want me love? | ||
unidentified
|
Do you want me love for real? | |
Do you wanna be love for real? | ||
Do you wanna be love, girl? | ||
For real Her eyes were hazel round She laughed the sweetest sound. | ||
And I just loved the way that she lit up every time she spoke. | ||
She healed to ease my pain She stayed through pouring rain And I gave her all that she could take Until she broke She fit me like a glove She told me how to love And for some ass I watched it all go up in smoke Do | ||
you wanna be love for real? | ||
Do you wanna be love? | ||
unidentified
|
Do you wanna be love for real? | |
Do you wanna be love, girl? | ||
Cause I wanna be loved Do you wanna be loved? | ||
unidentified
|
Do you wanna be loved for real? | |
Oh, I like that one. | ||
Thank you. | ||
Mr. Brian Velasco on the keys. | ||
Black Beauty. | ||
Black Beauty. | ||
unidentified
|
Give it up. | |
Raven. | ||
Da Banger. | ||
Da Banger. | ||
Dude, that's a great song. | ||
Hey, that was off of a record called Eat It Whitey's. | ||
And you're putting this out, and then you're going to work on a studio album right after? | ||
I've been. | ||
I've been. | ||
It's kind of a hip-hop-ish thing. | ||
It's slow going, because it's a very particular project. | ||
It's kind of weird. | ||
So the beauty of this is there could be a volume one, volume two, volume three. | ||
It's easy to go in the studio and cut the acoustic versions. | ||
It's fun, too. | ||
Yeah, it must be nice to have things pared down, too. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
It makes traveling so easy, dude. | ||
Oh, I'm sure, right? | ||
Do you just show up with a guitar? | ||
Like, how do you do it? | ||
Us three. | ||
Just the way we show up here, but we don't even need to bring this because most places will have a keyboard for us. | ||
Oh, that's nice. | ||
So it's like two guitars and three guys. | ||
Like, if you are in a big band, like a big crazy band, like how much shit do they have? | ||
Like, let's say... | ||
If we got to go full gear... | ||
What's a big band? | ||
What's a band that travels big? | ||
Like, obviously... | ||
U2. Oh, they got semi-trucks, dude. | ||
At least two. | ||
Three-dimensional show, right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, they're carrying their own lighting rigs and their own sound systems and their own... | ||
How long does it take to set that shit up? | ||
A day. | ||
Wow. | ||
You know, they say Kevin Hart has, like, he's got an acoustic system that he has, or an explosive system that he has set up for his shows. | ||
He does shows when he hits punchlines, explosions go off behind him. | ||
Pyrotechnics. | ||
How badass is that? | ||
How badass is that? | ||
Punchline! | ||
Boom! | ||
That's pretty dope. | ||
No one can copy that either. | ||
That shit's his. | ||
That's like if you want to smash a watermelon with a sledgehammer, too late. | ||
That's Gallagher. | ||
Too late. | ||
It's not like playing the drums. | ||
There's certain specific things that you're not allowed to repeat. | ||
If you want to get shot in the dick with a pool ball, it's over. | ||
You can't do that. | ||
It's been done. | ||
You know, rock stars can do pyrotechnics, and they can also, like, other rock stars can do pyrotechnics, but there's never been a comedian that does pyrotechnics until Kevin did it. | ||
So now that's it. | ||
It's only Kevin. | ||
Even though he didn't invent pyrotechnics, he owns that shit. | ||
But they literally go off on punchlines. | ||
Yeah, and I was like, suck it, bitch! | ||
Boom! | ||
That's funny, dude. | ||
Hell yeah. | ||
It's fucking great. | ||
I wish I thought of it. | ||
I would make even, like, a shitty joke good, you know what I mean? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
That's cheating kind of, dude. | ||
We're at the chicken cross the road because his dick was too long. | ||
Boom! | ||
You just want to see that explosion again. | ||
Yeah, but he's funny too. | ||
So on top of that, I mean, that must be a destruction, man. | ||
That must be destruction. | ||
It's a brilliant idea. | ||
But I think you got to do something if you're going to do 18,000 people with comedy. | ||
Exactly. | ||
Comedy is supposed to be, honestly, 200 people. | ||
unidentified
|
Word. | |
Clay never did nothing like that. | ||
Dice Clay never did. | ||
He might have. | ||
You know, we need to ask him. | ||
Did he ever have explosions? | ||
He might have. | ||
He had some gigantic fucking arena shows. | ||
If anybody did it, Clay might have done it. | ||
I don't think he had them on Punchlines, but I think he might have come out to them or something like that. | ||
On Punchlines, it's kind of wild. | ||
Yeah, but I think he was probably the first comedian to do those kind of places consistently. | ||
I think maybe Steve Martin had done some arenas, and Eddie Murphy had done some arenas, and Richard Pryor probably did some arenas. | ||
But when Dice came on the scene, it was all arenas. | ||
Yeah, it was like tours. | ||
Yeah, he was a totally different kind of comedian because he was like a musician. | ||
People wanted to hear his shit. | ||
They wanted to hear the same shit again. | ||
What's in the bowl, bitch? | ||
They would all do it with him. | ||
It was like singing along to Freebird. | ||
It was reminiscent of those old Monty Python when they took that on the road. | ||
All they wanted to see was the old sketches so they could sing along and say along to them. | ||
Merely a flesh wound. | ||
That's funny. | ||
Is that what they did? | ||
I'm not even aware of that. | ||
Oh yeah, there's a famous live DVD of Monty Python at the Hollywood Bowl. | ||
It's hilarious. | ||
Well, that makes sense. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, yeah. | ||
I guess it totally makes sense. | ||
I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay. | ||
And the whole audience is singing the shit. | ||
It's like, all they did was the stuff from the shows. | ||
I'm embarrassed to say I was never a Monty Python fan. | ||
Really? | ||
I mean, it's not that I didn't like it. | ||
I just never watched it. | ||
I was in a band, so I was a Monty Python fan. | ||
unidentified
|
So in bands, you just I think it was a nerdy thing to be into when we were young, because honestly, I won't front. | |
I knew some kids that played Dungeons and Dragons type stuff, and I got involved with them, but that's how I found Bonnie Python was through them kids, because there was a thing called The Quest for the Holy Grail that was like a movie. | ||
unidentified
|
Life of Brian. | |
Such a great movie. | ||
The Honey Rabbit scene. | ||
Oh, fucking. | ||
unidentified
|
Run away! | |
Run away! | ||
I remember the Life of Brian. | ||
We are the Knights of Me! | ||
unidentified
|
Me! | |
Get us a shrubbery! | ||
He's gonna bring us a shrubbery! | ||
Bring us a shrubbery! | ||
I need to watch it now. | ||
I need to know. | ||
Yeah, I need to see it. | ||
Yeah, those guys are brilliant, man. | ||
I'm missing something. | ||
Life of Brian was good, too. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, Life of Brian. | |
What was the one where they hacked the guy's arm off? | ||
That's fucking Quest for the Holy Grail with the Black Knight. | ||
Come back here, I'll bite your balls off! | ||
unidentified
|
Ha ha ha ha ha! | |
Prepare the holy hand grenade. | ||
The holy hand grenade, yeah. | ||
Wow, that's actually hilarious. | ||
The French dudes in the castle. | ||
unidentified
|
I blew my nose in your general direction. | |
Castle anthrax with all the hot naked women in it. | ||
unidentified
|
That's hilarious. | |
That's a great movie, dude. | ||
You gotta just get baked one night and watch Monty Python movies, dude. | ||
Okay, I'll do it. | ||
I will do it. | ||
You'll piss yourself out. | ||
I think I will. | ||
I just watched that. | ||
I was laughing my ass off. | ||
It's almost like now, though, in 2013, there's too much shit to see. | ||
There's so many documentaries that I have on my queue that I need to watch. | ||
There's so many movies that I haven't seen yet. | ||
It's almost embarrassing. | ||
It's like, you can't catch up. | ||
It's almost like... | ||
Well, I stick to old shit. | ||
I stick to everything I grew up on. | ||
Yeah. | ||
My wife always asks me, like, you've seen this movie like 500 times. | ||
How could you watch it again? | ||
I'll be like, because it's fucking good and I like it. | ||
Go over to Joey Diaz's house. | ||
It's a 90% chance to outlaw Josie Wales to be playing. | ||
Is that right? | ||
That's a great fucking movie. | ||
Come here, Joe Rogan. | ||
Come here, Joe Rogan. | ||
This is the fucking scene. | ||
He lays it down. | ||
These are my words of life. | ||
These are my words of life. | ||
He goes up to the fucking idiot and he's on a horse. | ||
He's going, look, bitch. | ||
Either we're going to fucking work this out or I'm ready to die. | ||
What's up now? | ||
It's the greatest fucking... | ||
And it'll be on at any given time. | ||
When you come over to his hotel room, if it's on TV, he's watching it. | ||
Outlaw Josie Wales. | ||
Out of all the people that have ever seen the Outlaw Josie Wales, I bet Joey Diaz has seen it more than anyone. | ||
It's a good movie. | ||
It's a great fucking movie. | ||
There's certain movies that you can see over and over and over and over again. | ||
If it's good, I can watch it again. | ||
For me, it's The Mechanic. | ||
Charles Bronson's The Mechanic. | ||
And Hard Times. | ||
Remember Hard Times? | ||
Hard Times. | ||
Charles Bronson was a cage fighter. | ||
What? | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
You don't remember? | ||
I vaguely remember that. | ||
He was a 50-year-old fit cage fighter. | ||
And he would go from town to town. | ||
He had this fucking shady manager. | ||
He had a cat that he fed milk to. | ||
And he was this old, wiry dude. | ||
He was 50 years old when they filmed this shit. | ||
See if you can pull up the scene. | ||
Bare knuckle cage fighter. | ||
Charles Bronson from Hard Times. | ||
And yo, when he was 50, this motherfucker was chiseled. | ||
Okay? | ||
This is before testosterone replacement therapy. | ||
This was just the way Charles Bronson was built. | ||
Mentality. | ||
He was just doing chin-ups and sit-ups and shit. | ||
And eating red meat. | ||
Drinking milk. | ||
Eating elk steaks. | ||
You gotta watch this video, man. | ||
See, the way most people look at, like, Chuck Norris... | ||
Is how I look at Charles Bronson. | ||
Oh yeah. | ||
Charles Bronson was one of the baddest dudes ever. | ||
Look at this. | ||
He's an old dude. | ||
And he's just fucking people up. | ||
unidentified
|
It's a great movie. | |
1933. America had hit the skids. | ||
People were out of work. | ||
And out of luck. | ||
Third refill cost a nickel. | ||
Life was as tough as a cheap steak. | ||
That writing is amazing. | ||
unidentified
|
It's amazing. | |
I got a husband in jail. | ||
No job. | ||
And no prospects. | ||
I don't look past the next bend in the road. | ||
A man had to live by his wits. | ||
Well, my man's just starting out. | ||
Lee Marvin, huh? | ||
Lee Marvin like a motherfucker, dude. | ||
unidentified
|
Damn, look how young he is. | |
Or by his fists. | ||
It's like the original Every Which Way But Loose. | ||
Fuck yeah, it's the real one. | ||
Look, I love Every Which Way But Loose, but it can't fuck with hard times. | ||
And they're fighting fisticuffs style. | ||
Oh yeah. | ||
You know why? | ||
Because that's how they used to fight when they were bare knuckles. | ||
Well that was at Queens of Marksburg shit, right? | ||
They all did like this. | ||
unidentified
|
Who can make a fortune in a day. | |
I propose a toast to the best man I know. | ||
Me. | ||
unidentified
|
And lose it. | |
I'm flat broke. | ||
I need some money fast. | ||
unidentified
|
What the hell are you doing? | |
You don't want no trouble. | ||
Just you pay your debts. | ||
- Fucked up his old car. | ||
You used knees, man. | ||
You were allowed to use knees. | ||
You used in the cage. | ||
You could basically do anything. | ||
They just didn't know all that other shit yet. | ||
They didn't know about leg kicks. | ||
You know? | ||
No one knew no Muay Thai back then. | ||
They did. | ||
That's what they would have fought with. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Oh, club that motherfucker in front of a pool table. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, beautiful movie. | |
They're a knockout. | ||
I'm going to have to watch it now. | ||
unidentified
|
I'm going to watch this movie and watch it. | |
Terrible, terrible, hard times. | ||
Speaking of that stuff about how there wasn't stuff like that around back then, I love how now, like, you know, I watch that show, like, occasionally on Star of Spartacus. | ||
Yes. | ||
And they'll, like, have, like, a hand-to-hand battle, and all of a sudden it's, like, transitions of jiu-jitsu rolling into arm bars and a chokehold, and it's like, what the fuck? | ||
Hey, get the fuck out of here, man. | ||
Pankration, they had that. | ||
Sort of. | ||
It wasn't like that back then. | ||
Dude, it wasn't polished the way it is. | ||
Whatever they had. | ||
The evolution of Jiu-Jitsu has changed so much since the UFC 1, since 1993. But if you go back to the old school days with Hicks and Gracie, they had all the techniques. | ||
The level wasn't as high as it is today. | ||
But all the techniques were there. | ||
Most of them, like triangles, arm bars, all that shit's been around since the 30s. | ||
But it's just so rare that anybody got super good at it the way you see Marcelo Garcia or something like that. | ||
The guys that are today are the highest level jiu-jitsu guys of all time. | ||
There's still Hickson Gracie, he's still regarded as the greatest of all time, but he was just such a freak. | ||
He was so much better than everybody. | ||
He was in some weird zone where you would talk about everybody, like, oh, this guy's real good, this guy's real good, and then there's Hickson. | ||
Everybody said it. | ||
They all agreed. | ||
There was no debate. | ||
It was no like, yeah, but I think Higa Machado's better. | ||
Everybody was like, Tixson. | ||
That's it. | ||
He's the best. | ||
One dude. | ||
That's rare as shit. | ||
But from then on, besides him, from then on, basically, it's constantly gotten better. | ||
So that Spartacus shit, they didn't fight like that. | ||
Yeah, it didn't happen. | ||
They didn't have enough time. | ||
They didn't stay alive long enough to learn how to fight like that. | ||
You die when you're 24 with a fucking sword in your stomach. | ||
The idea that you knew how to transition to a triangle and then roll for an omoplata and then take side control, full mount, head and arm choke, skip to the side. | ||
Bitch, you don't know how to do that. | ||
Yeah, totally, totally. | ||
That didn't happen back then. | ||
But it's funny when they used to... | ||
I wonder, I used to watch Deadwood, but it used to bum me out when they sweared so much because I can't believe they swore that much back then. | ||
Because they didn't swear that much in the 50s and the 60s. | ||
Like, why am I supposed to believe they swore that much in the 1800s? | ||
Like, you sure? | ||
Is that real? | ||
I don't know if that's real. | ||
I don't think it was supposed to be proper society either, though. | ||
No, for sure. | ||
It was a pimp. | ||
I mean, the most swearing... | ||
Like, 90% of the swears came out of the fucking pimp guy's mouth most of the time. | ||
But that guy swore so much, it was just like... | ||
He was awesome. | ||
It was amazing. | ||
It was beautiful. | ||
It was a feat of genius. | ||
I didn't know a human being could swear as much and as differently as that guy did on that show. | ||
And have it sound as natural. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
He swore it, rolled off his tongue as if there was just a... | ||
I swear to God, the first time I saw an interview with that guy and he spoke in an English fucking accent, I was just like, no fucking way. | ||
I was like, get the fuck out of here. | ||
It's hilarious when dudes, when you hear dudes, you know, they're like English guys or badass. | ||
Especially dudes that are flawless, like, pull off some, like, really, like, oh, there's no way that guy's not American, you know? | ||
And they're Australian. | ||
You ever hear Jim Jeffries do that? | ||
Jim Jeffries, the comedian? | ||
He's hilarious. | ||
Oh, yeah, yeah, I have, yeah. | ||
He's an Australian guy. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
But he can do the perfect American accent, like, perfect. | ||
And it's, like, it freaks you out when you hear him talk, and then he goes American on you. | ||
Yeah. | ||
All right, we're almost done here, so let's end, you want to end with one more song? | ||
Sure, we can do that. | ||
Let me think of what we're going to do here. | ||
Ten minutes. | ||
Okay, yeah. | ||
We'll end it. | ||
So, thank you to our sponsors, Onnit.com, LegalZoom, use the codename Rogan on both of those. | ||
It'd be so easy if it was all the codename Rogan, but it's not. | ||
So that's our sponsors, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
We will see you tonight at the Ice House. | ||
It'll be Brian Redband, Brian Callen, Eddie Ift, Sam Tripoli, and moi. | ||
And that's tonight at 10 p.m. | ||
at the Ice House. | ||
And Joey Diaz is next door doing his podcast at 8.30. | ||
So if you get there early. | ||
Go and watch that shit, too. | ||
And we're gonna try to convince Joey to come over and do a set with us. | ||
And then this weekend, we're in Milwaukee, Joey and I, at the Pabst Theater, but it's basically sold out. | ||
There's only a few tickets left. | ||
So you might get some single seats and shit like that. | ||
And that's it. | ||
So we'll see you guys soon. | ||
Tomorrow night, we got a little release party at Hotel Cafe in Hollywood, so LA stand-up, come on out. | ||
Beautiful. | ||
Where's Hotel Cafe? | ||
It's like Cahuenga. | ||
It's like right off Hollywood, between Hollywood and Sunset, I believe. | ||
Awesome. | ||
What time was that? | ||
1030? | ||
Yeah, I hit it 1030. But it's a small place. | ||
It's only like 150 seats, man. | ||
Jump on it, bitches. | ||
Life Acoustic out now. | ||
Support Everlast. | ||
Go out and buy this shit. | ||
Put your money where your mouth is, you fucking dirty, beautiful freaks. | ||
All right. | ||
Love you. | ||
Thank you very much for doing this, man. | ||
It's always a beautiful time. | ||
Pack it up, pack it in, pack it in, let me begin. | ||
I can't win, battle me, that's a sin. | ||
Never slack up, punk, you better back up. | ||
unidentified
|
Try and play the rule, you're the hook, who will act up. | |
Get up, stand up, come on, throw your hand up. | ||
You got the feeling, jumbo touch the ceiling. | ||
Mugs let the funk flow Someone talk junk You'll bust him in his eye Take that punk's whole feeling Funkin' Amps in the chunkin' Got more rhymes And this cop's at a dunkin' Donut shop Soon enough I got pops From the kids on the hill Plus my mom and my pop I came to get down I came to get down. | ||
So get out your seat, everybody. | ||
Jump around. | ||
Everybody jump around Everybody jump around Everybody jump around From town to town From bed to bed It's like I said We jump around Everybody jump around I'll serve your ass like John McEnroe. | ||
If your girl step up, I'll still smack that hoe. | ||
Word to your mom, I came to dry bomb. | ||
Got more rhyme than the Bible, got psalms. | ||
And just like prodigal son, I return. | ||
One step in me is getting burned. | ||
See, cause I got lyrics, but you ain't got none. | ||
Come battle, bring a shotgun. | ||
But if you do, you're a fool. | ||
Cause I know my due to the death. | ||
Step to me, you take your last breath. | ||
I got the skill, come get your fill. | ||
Cause when I shoot the give, I shoot the kill. | ||
I came to get down, came to get down. | ||
Get out your seat, everybody jump around Everybody jump around From town to town. | ||
From bed to bed. | ||
It's like I said. | ||
We jump around. | ||
Everybody jump around. | ||
I'm the cream of the crop. | ||
I rise to the top. | ||
I never eat a pig, cause a pig is a cop. | ||
Better get a Terminator, like all those sorts of niggas. | ||
Trying to play me out like as if my name was Sega. | ||
And I ain't going out like no punk bitch who used to want to style. | ||
I might switch it up, up around. | ||
Buck, buck you down without your head. | ||
Then you wake up in the dawn of the day. | ||
I'm coming to get ya. | ||
I'm coming to get ya. | ||
Spittin' out lyrics on me out at ya. | ||
I came to get down. | ||
I came to get down. | ||
So get out your seat, everybody. | ||
Jump around. | ||
Everybody jump around Everybody jump around Everybody jump around From town to town From bed to bed. | ||
It's like I said. | ||
We jump around. |