July 23, 2013 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:54:45
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Hey, fucks. | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| Party people. | ||
| This episode of the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. | ||
| Squarespace, if you've never been and you need a website, Stop what you're doing and go check it out. | ||
| It's the easiest way to make a website. | ||
| You don't have to go to somebody anymore, even though I've gone to somebody in the past. | ||
| My next website, I'm going to try to make myself. | ||
| If I had that kind of time. | ||
| I sort of have that kind of time, but not really. | ||
| I mean, I guess if you just put in a few minutes every day, you could do it. | ||
| Brian's been banging them out while we do podcasts. | ||
| He's done like 20 websites. | ||
| It's that easy. | ||
| It's super easy. | ||
| The way it's set up, it's set up like they're really good websites. | ||
| It used to be that you had to learn how to fucking HTML shit, and you had to learn how to... | ||
| You know, put all those little weird squiggly letters that you never use in an email. | ||
| You have to figure out how to use all those strange keys and arrows and shit. | ||
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| Just go to Squarespace. | ||
| And you don't even have to pay money to try it out. | ||
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| It's a sweet deal. | ||
| You can set up an online store. | ||
| They work on Android phones, iPads, iPhones. | ||
| They're pretty dope websites, and it's easy to do. | ||
| Check it out, man. | ||
| Do you remember that guy? | ||
| He used to go... | ||
| What was his name? | ||
| Check it out, man. | ||
| Check it out, man. | ||
| He was in Scarface. | ||
| Angel Salazar. | ||
| Angel Salazar. | ||
| That's a good... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was his whole thing. | ||
| Check it out. | ||
| Check it out, man. | ||
| And he used to be everywhere. | ||
| And everywhere you would hear just a crazy Angel Salazar partying story. | ||
| Like Angel Salazar was here. | ||
| There are pictures of him that Mitzi's got on their wall at the store in La Jolla. | ||
| And he's like in a half shirt cut off with his hair feathered and a bandana. | ||
| And like rollerblades in one hand. | ||
| It's just so weird. | ||
| I met him once a few years ago when I was on tour with Charlie Murphy and John Heffron. | ||
| What's he doing? | ||
| Good guy. | ||
| He's doing clubs still. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's those guys, man. | ||
| Go to Long Island. | ||
| Go to Long Island and go see the guys who are the local Long Island guys. | ||
| They're still around. | ||
| They've been around for a long time. | ||
| Funny guys too, like Joey Cola. | ||
| Funny guy. | ||
| Yeah, when you do stand-up for that long. | ||
| Yeah, they just, but they're, you know, they just sort of, they stay around, sort of on the periphery. | ||
| And for whatever reason, the rest of the world doesn't find out about them. | ||
| It's strange. | ||
| Well, I don't think, you know, it's funny, I don't think I'll ever stop doing stand-up regardless of, you want to do it for a lot of people, but, you know, stand-up is one of those things, who is that great philosopher who said, man's never more himself when at play. | ||
| I think that was Angel Salazar who said that. | ||
| Angel Salazar. | ||
| And then he says, check it out. | ||
| But the idea is, when I'm not on the road, when I'm not doing stand-up, I really start to miss it. | ||
| So I can understand that. | ||
| You do it because it's when you're the most authentic, maybe. | ||
| You do it because you're trying to get the fuck away from your house. | ||
| If you also go to Onnit.com, that's our last sponsor, O-N-N-I-T, you will see that Although we only have the chimpanzee tribal bell in. | ||
| Primal bell? | ||
| Tribal bell. | ||
| Primal. | ||
| Primal tribal. | ||
| All those douchey words. | ||
| We have a new gorilla one coming out. | ||
| It's going to be fucking badass. | ||
| I'm getting it. | ||
| Yeah, it's 72 pounds. | ||
| It's sick. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| The sculptures are cool as fuck. | ||
| And we've got a few more coming after that. | ||
| We're slowly trickling them in. | ||
| Very difficult to make. | ||
| Very difficult to produce. | ||
| Difficult also because we make sure they're balanced. | ||
| If you look at a regular kettlebell, it's very simple. | ||
| It's a symmetrical shape. | ||
| The circle and then the handle is on it. | ||
| It's a nice big thick handle. | ||
| They balance. | ||
| It sets in the middle. | ||
| But when you have a sculpture like a chimpanzee, Not that easy. | ||
| So we had to map it out and design it and make sure that when you work out with it, it works exactly like a regular kettlebell. | ||
| And that's the same for the Gorilla one as well. | ||
| And the other ones we have coming out too, we had to change faces and redesign things and move things around. | ||
| It's a real pain in the ass. | ||
| But we wanted to make sure that they looked badass and they were also functional. | ||
| They're going to use my face apparently too. | ||
| There's word of that. | ||
| For a million pounds. | ||
| That's what I heard. | ||
| For a million pounds. | ||
| There's a million pounds. | ||
| They use them for those Pacific Rim robots. | ||
| They're going to train with them. | ||
| If you've never used kettlebells before, I always tell everybody, but I think it bears repeating, you've got to go to a trainer. | ||
| Go pay somebody $100 or whatever the hell they charge and someone who knows what they're doing and just videotape it. | ||
| Just get them to go through the basic movements of it. | ||
| Start slow. | ||
| Don't lift a shitload of weight. | ||
| Lift lightweights correctly. | ||
| I have a 35-pound kettlebell. | ||
| That chimpanzee kettlebell is 35 pounds. | ||
| And I know you would look at a manly man like myself and you'd say, Joe Rogan, what could you possibly do with 35 pounds? | ||
| Did you play volleyball with it or what? | ||
| But you get exhausted. | ||
| Trust me. | ||
| The one that we have that we sell on it, it's called the Keith Weber... | ||
| Extreme cardio workout and these DVDs that we sell, Extreme Cardio and Extreme 2, they're fucking insane. | ||
| 35 pound kettlebell. | ||
| I've done them with a 50, you want to have a goddamn heart attack. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Do it like a 45 pounder. | ||
| How long is the workout for? | ||
| Well, there's a series of workouts. | ||
| There's a bunch of workouts. | ||
| It's almost really how long can you do it. | ||
| There's a bunch of them that go back and forth and back and forth. | ||
| But once you start doing reps, you start doing windmills and cleans and presses and over and over and over again, it's just unbelievably good as far as strength and conditioning workouts, the best. | ||
| And it gives you great cardio too, and it gives you functional strength. | ||
| Go to Onnit. | ||
| That's O-N-N-I-T. As I mentioned, the results of the alpha brain test, the double-blind placebo test, which were very positive, will be released soon. | ||
| We've got to get them published. | ||
| But we're also on to another one, on to another larger test, large-scale, even more expensive test, just because you think it's necessary to make sure that people I don't have any questions about whether or not something's effective. | ||
| We don't want any claims of snake oil. | ||
| No one's trying to rip you off. | ||
| The way we have it set up at Onnit is all the supplements that you buy, whether it's Shroomtech or Alpha Brain, the supplements all have a 30-day or a 90-day 30-pill money-back guarantee. | ||
| So if you buy the first 30 pills and within 90 days you say, this is bullshit. | ||
| This doesn't do anything for me. | ||
| You get 100% of your money back. | ||
| You don't even have to send the product back. | ||
| The reason being is because we're sure that everything that we sell does what it claims. | ||
| And you're going to enjoy it, whether it's new mood, which is very simple, scientifically proven. | ||
| It's 5-HTP. It improves your brain's ability to produce serotonin. | ||
| You produce more. | ||
| There's also L-tryptophan, which converts to 5-HTP. All that stuff is great for your mood. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| In fact, they tell people who are on SSRIs to not take 5-HTP because you can get too much serotonin. | ||
| They tell you to avoid that and just take their pharmaceutical medication. | ||
| I'm not saying there's anything wrong with pharmaceuticals, but I am saying that you can get a boost in your mood from taking something like New Mood. | ||
| And it's guaranteed. | ||
| Use a code name ROGAN. Save 10% off any supplements. | ||
| Brian Callen is here, and we're finned to get busy. | ||
| Because that's what we do. | ||
| That's what we do. | ||
|
unidentified
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Mm-hmm. | |
| We're going hunting again this November together with Steve Rinella. | ||
| We don't fuck around. | ||
| We're back in action. | ||
| Three deer each. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom. | |
| So lock, lock. | ||
| Mate. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Joe Rogan Podcast. | |
| Check it out. | ||
| The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
| Train by day. | ||
| Joe Rogan Podcast by night. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All day. | |
| Oh, sweet baby Jesus. | ||
| Jesus Louisa. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Brian motherfucking Callan, also known as By The Way. | ||
| Or The Kid. | ||
| I refer to myself as The Kid. | ||
| Whenever I'm on set now, I make the cameraman. | ||
| Everybody refer to me as The Kid. | ||
| They're like, The Kid, can you just move to the left? | ||
| I'm like, yes, I can. | ||
| What sets have you been on? | ||
| What have you been doing? | ||
| I just did a stint on a movie called Flock of Dudes, and that's it. | ||
| I've just been doing... | ||
| I like to take long, long breaks between my acting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I did a movie with Elizabeth Banks, who's 40 and couldn't look better. | ||
| Elizabeth Banks is... | ||
| She's been in a ton of movies. | ||
| She's not the chick from Showgirls. | ||
| No. | ||
| That's Elizabeth... | ||
| Perkins or something? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Don't you say who knows about Showgirls, dude. | ||
| I actually know her because I used to date her friend when I first got to L.A. Who, the Showgirls girl? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Elizabeth Hurley. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, it's not Elizabeth Hurley. | ||
| Don't ever chime in if you're wrong, you fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Berkeley. | |
| Berkeley. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Berkeley, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| What a pretty face and, you know, an okay ass. | ||
| Nothing special. | ||
| I don't believe she's a dancer. | ||
| Before we start, I just want to... | ||
| Can I just hawk a date? | ||
| Yeah, before we start. | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
| This weekend, at the Schomburg Improv, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Brian Callen! | ||
| Enjoy your fruit compo. | ||
| People are thinking about going, they're like, this guy's too much. | ||
|
unidentified
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Forget this guy, man. | |
| He's too much. | ||
| He's too full of energy. | ||
| I don't want to deal with that. | ||
| I don't want to be in that presence. | ||
| I know, exactly. | ||
| Are you ready for hunting again? | ||
| Dude, here's what I'm worried about. | ||
| You had to choose November 21st in Wisconsin. | ||
| You think the Missouri Breaks was cold in October? | ||
| We're going to... | ||
| Yeah, it's going to be cold. | ||
| Why are you such a pussy? | ||
| Because I am a pussy. | ||
| Don't listen. | ||
| Because I've got a long neck and I can't conserve heat. | ||
| That's why. | ||
| Wear clothes. | ||
| I don't have a short neck and wide center of gravity. | ||
| You retain heat. | ||
| We were freezing on that boat and you come by me and you were like, you had icicles on your beard and you were smiling at me. | ||
| I was like, what are you smiling at? | ||
| I can't move. | ||
| I grew up in Boston and I know how to deal with the heat. | ||
| I know how to deal with the cold rather. | ||
| You just deal with it. | ||
| You just deal with it. | ||
| You just accept it. | ||
| Are we sleeping in tents again? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Not this time. | ||
| What are we doing? | ||
| We're going to sleep in a cabin. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's going to be like a real place where you have a bed, the whole deal. | ||
| Everything's going to be beautiful. | ||
| I can't wait. | ||
| We're going to have a good time. | ||
| That's no problem, man. | ||
| We're going to have a good time. | ||
| Don't be a pussy. | ||
| No, I'm not. | ||
| It's going to be fun. | ||
| I get to bag three deer. | ||
| Those people live there. | ||
| Those people live there all year round. | ||
| My dad's from Wisconsin. | ||
| They're fine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've been up to the Northwoods. | ||
| I bet you have. | ||
| Yeah, I really have. | ||
| You've been to Chicago in January? | ||
| I sure have. | ||
| I've done a few gigs in Chicago in January. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| They don't play. | ||
| They don't play around up there. | ||
| They don't play around up there. | ||
| I just got back from Alaska. | ||
| You did? | ||
| Yeah, I went salmon fishing up there. | ||
| I didn't tell you about that? | ||
| No. | ||
| Ari Shafir and I went up there. | ||
| Well, you know Ari, that outdoorsman. | ||
| Ari Shafir can hang. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| He can hang. | ||
| I bet he can. | ||
|
unidentified
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He can hang. | |
| He finds his way through, right? | ||
| He's a smart motherfucker. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He knows how to do anything he wants to do. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| He gets good at anything he wants to get good at. | ||
| It's just, you know, he's the real deal. | ||
| Well, did you catch any salmon? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, we caught a lot of salmon. | |
| Because, you know, I went to Alaska and fishing. | ||
| Did you really? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh, I'm glad you're turning this around on yourself. | ||
| Well, I caught nothing, so I'm asking you if you... | ||
| I literally caught nothing. | ||
| Oh, and by the way, we spent $600 to go deep sea fishing, me and my father. | ||
| Guess who got sick? | ||
| Both of us. | ||
| We were like, hey, can we turn this boat around? | ||
| Yeah, you gotta go with a guide, and then you get salmon that big. | ||
| Oh, what is that? | ||
| It's a dinosaur. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| It's a 40-pound salmon I caught. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah, we caught a ton of them. | ||
| We caught seven of them one day, and then another day we caught four, and I caught a wild rainbow trout, too. | ||
| Now, did you catch them as they were coming to die? | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| I mean, essentially, they don't live. | ||
| They come back up, they spawn, and that's a wrap, son. | ||
| There's nothing going on. | ||
| Did you see any bear? | ||
| No. | ||
| We did not. | ||
| We saw eagles. | ||
| We saw a lot of eagles, but we were on the lookout for a bear. | ||
| We saw five moose inside of two days. | ||
| Moose are everywhere up there. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| They're also, they say, way more dangerous than a lot of animals. | ||
| Oh yeah, we saw, by the way, two of the moose had babies with them. | ||
| Twice. | ||
| So out of the four, we saw two mamas and two babies in two completely different areas. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So those are the most dangerous. | ||
| When you see a mother with her baby, and we saw a mother with her baby on a tiny island. | ||
| Our friend Matt, who's the guide that we went out there with, he took us to his dad as an island with like a bunch of cabins on it. | ||
| We took a boat out to this island and there's a moose and her baby on the island. | ||
| And we're like, oh shit, this is a small ass island. | ||
| It's like a block. | ||
| And the moose is like, what you doing here, bitch? | ||
| And we're like, oh shit. | ||
| Yeah, I guess it swam there. | ||
| It's a horse! | ||
| Yeah, a horse that swam. | ||
| Yeah, you never think of a horse swimming like that. | ||
| They can swim. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| They swim like in the middle of the water, like it's deep as fuck, and they swim right through it. | ||
| And by the way, that water, if I remember correctly, even in the summer, in the North Atlantic, you got about 10 minutes. | ||
| You fall in that water. | ||
| You got about 10 minutes before you die. | ||
| That's not the Atlantic, fella. | ||
| That's the Pacific. | ||
| That's what I meant. | ||
| I meant the Pacific. | ||
| Don't ever embarrass me on a podcast like that again. | ||
| I'm doing it just to help you. | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| Because you're going to get the emails. | ||
| I meant the area of the Pacific that's closer to the Atlantic. | ||
| That part when it flips around real quick. | ||
| When it flips around. | ||
| You and your technical ideas about what a sea is. | ||
| Yeah, but you got about, I think, 10 minutes to live. | ||
| That place is so gangster. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's such a beautiful place, too. | ||
| Have you been to Alaska yet? | ||
| I have. | ||
| You gotta do stand-up there. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Fuck yes. | ||
| It's one of the greatest places in the world. | ||
| Where? | ||
| Anchorage. | ||
| I'll go. | ||
| You gotta go. | ||
| Gotta go. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| First of all, these people are cool as shit. | ||
| They're like the coolest people from Portland or Boulder, those kind of people. | ||
| Except they're living in the Pacific, I mean, as far up there as you can get. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Hop, skip, and jump away from Russia. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, they're way the fuck up there, past Canada. | ||
| It's cold as fuck. | ||
| It was 3 o'clock in the morning when we leave the bar, and it's bright out. | ||
|
unidentified
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Wow. | |
| Yeah, it's weird. | ||
| I mean, when we went out there, it was actually, the temperature was nice. | ||
| It was in the 70s, but the mosquitoes are un-fucking-relenting. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Unrelenting. | ||
| You've never seen anything like it. | ||
| It's like they know they only have a certain amount of time. | ||
| So like you get out of your car and there's a hundred of them on you, in your face, within seconds. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| They swarm you. | ||
| One person with malaria in Alaska could kill the entire state. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They would just spread like wildfire through these fucking cunty mosquitoes. | ||
| They're unbelievable. | ||
| Like you've never seen anything like it. | ||
| You get out of your car and it's a cloud of them just... | ||
| I don't think Off works with those. | ||
| Yeah, it works. | ||
| It does? | ||
| Yeah, DDT. We used whatever shit. | ||
| We bought it at REI. It works. | ||
| It works great. | ||
| It's genius. | ||
|
unidentified
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You need it. | |
| You need it. | ||
| It probably gives you cancer. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, who knows what the fuck that stuff does. | ||
| It might be worth it, though, when you got a cloud of mosquitoes. | ||
| Yeah, believe me. | ||
| I was in Utah last week and I didn't use it in time. | ||
| Now I got bites all over my arms. | ||
| Those cold areas, man. | ||
| Well, I was in Indonesia and I had to carry a sulfur coil. | ||
| Oh, by the way. | ||
| By the way? | ||
| Yeah, by the way. | ||
| When you're in Indonesia, please don't think that you're going to use, please don't think that off is going to work because those tropical bugs scoff at it. | ||
| They laugh at it. | ||
| So you had to carry a sulfur coil and burn it and that's what kept the mosquitoes away from you. | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| How does off not work? | ||
| Because they're just too... | ||
| they don't care. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| They're tropical mosquitoes and tropical bugs. | ||
| So we would carry a sulfur coil and you burn a sulfur coil. | ||
| You hold it in your hand and you burn it as you walk. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| And that's what keeps them away. | ||
| Does it work? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How well. | ||
| Because we would, you'd track in it in the middle of the, like, when it was still dark, and then you set up a hammock, because you don't want to sleep on the floor, because bugs will get you. | ||
| So you can set up a hammock, you lie in the hammock, you wait for the orangutan above you to wake up. | ||
| Now when you're, and then when the whole forest wakes up, it's louder than Grand Central Station. | ||
| You've never heard anything like it in my life, in your life. | ||
| The forest, the tropical rainforest, louder than, put me on the corner of 42nd and 5th Avenue, it's louder, and I'm not exaggerating at Is it mostly bugs? | ||
| It's bugs, birds, monkeys. | ||
| All together, just squawking. | ||
| Different crickets, different grass, whatever it is. | ||
| And when the whole forest wakes up, you're like, this is the craziest thing I've ever heard in my life. | ||
| I mean, monks, but birds are like, you're just like, are you kidding me? | ||
| And it's mostly the bugs. | ||
| It's mostly the different bugs that are doing weird things like rubbing their legs together or frogs, you know, that are, you know, and I just couldn't believe it. | ||
| And you better carry a sulfur coil. | ||
| You freaked me out when you told me about your first experiences there, back when you were thinking about being like a bug scientist, because you told me about the posts that they had on where you slept, and you had to cover them with turpentine. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Because of the ants? | ||
| Because the ants, when they're foraging, what they'll do is they'll just crawl over you, no problem, if they're hunting. | ||
| You better have turpentine on those posts because they'll find you. | ||
| They'll come up those posts. | ||
| You're in your, you know, tent or you're in your bed and they'll come and kill you. | ||
| They'll come and eat you. | ||
| And you can hear them. | ||
| You can hear them. | ||
| There's so many of them that you can hear a weird sort of hum. | ||
| So that's what happens. | ||
|
unidentified
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You hear them walking? | |
| Yeah, apparently you can hear them when they're on the march, when there are millions of them and they're hunting. | ||
| You can hear the movement of the ground or whatever it is as they forage through. | ||
| It actually makes a sound. | ||
| There's millions of them. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yes. | |
| People don't understand, this is a real fact, that the weight of human beings is equal to the weight of ants in the entire world. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just think about how many ants it would take to equal a person. | ||
| How many millions of ants you'd have to stack on top of each other to equal the weight of a normal person. | ||
| Well, there's an equal number of pounds in the world of human as there are of ants. | ||
| Well, I got my mind really blown. | ||
| I had a guy on my podcast recently, James Rollins, who is like a Michael Crichton. | ||
| And he went and spoke to some mathematicians at NASA. And the latest... | ||
| They had all these really weird theories, which is we're basically living in a hologram. | ||
| Have you heard about this? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's a blue mind. | ||
| Then they said, what do you mean? | ||
| They said, well, if you were to take all the space out of the atoms we're made of, so if you take all the space, so you took all the electrons, whatever that surrounds the nucleus, If you put it all together, you could take every human being that's ever lived, the actual mass that we're made of, and put it into a baseball. | ||
| So then it raises the question of what in the world is holding us together? | ||
| If you look closely enough, we are way more space And what seems to be creating solid matter is the relationship between energy fields. | ||
| There's no way that they, as they look closer, there's no way they can actually point to, like, what we're touching right now, like this wood. | ||
| It's really, it's just, it's so mind-blowing. | ||
| Like, what are you talking about? | ||
| Like, when he said that, he goes, you could take every human being that's ever lived, and if you put, if you actually took what they're really made of, the matter that the atoms are made of, you could put it into a baseball. | ||
| What?! | ||
| Stop it! | ||
| Every human being. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| He went through all this... | ||
| We just did the podcast. | ||
| He went through all of this crazy stuff he was talking to them about. | ||
| Yeah, I had a guy from JPL, this Dr. Richard Terrell, and he was talking to me about simulation theory. | ||
| Terrell? | ||
| Terrell. | ||
| I can't read this. | ||
| He was talking to me about simulation theory, and he was talking to me about the exponential growth of computers, that literally the amount of computations per second that the computers did, the largest computers, back when the Apollo moon landing program was going on, the amount of computations per second that they were capable of is the same as a key fob on a car. | ||
| That's so mind-boggling where we're going. | ||
| That is fucking beyond insane. | ||
| A key fob on a car is actually faster. | ||
| It's so crazy! | ||
| It moves faster. | ||
| It makes more computations per second than that giant computer. | ||
| I mean, it's not capable of the same thing, but as far as computations per second, your cell phone certainly is. | ||
| Your cell phone's capable of far more. | ||
| Far more than any computer back then did, which was the size of a room. | ||
| What we're talking about is one of the episodes of this new show that I'm doing, which premieres tomorrow on SyFy. | ||
| Joe Rogan questions everything. | ||
| One of the subjects is the subject of simulation theory, about how insane it is that you can one day, rest assured, without a doubt, 100%, that they will create An artificial reality that is indiscernible from the reality that you're experiencing right now. | ||
| There's not a goddamn doubt about it, not one millionth of one percent doubt that if human beings stay alive, if we don't blow ourselves up, get killed in a pandemic, or hit by an asteroid, if any of those things don't happen, then within X amount of years, | ||
| fill in the blanks, whether it's a hundred, a thousand, there's going to be a time where the computation power The ability to manipulate neurons is going to be at a level that you are going to be able to insert an artificial world into someone's mind. | ||
| And then you're not going to be able to know whether or not you're in that mind or whether you're in the real world. | ||
| Are you in an artificial world or are you in the real world? | ||
| But here's where it gets really freaky. | ||
| What if you're in the artificial world and inside that artificial world you create an artificial world? | ||
| That's where things get fractal, which is essentially the nature of the entire universe itself. | ||
| When you boil things down, when you get really small, things get really big. | ||
| And when you're talking about all the air that's inside of an atom, all the space that's inside the atom, well, that sounds a whole lot like the whole universe, doesn't it? | ||
| Doesn't that sound like... | ||
| It sure does. | ||
| It's a mini universe, isn't it? | ||
| Every galaxy is essentially... | ||
| And look at the distance between galaxies. | ||
| When you look at galaxies and you look at them and they look like stars because they're so small and so far away, but you see how far there is between them and the next galaxy, and then you realize that that little small dot you're looking at is actually probably three or four hundred billion stars, including a supermassive black hole in the center of it that's one half Of 1% of the mass of the entire galaxy. | ||
| And they go on forever. | ||
| And there's this massive amount of space. | ||
| I mean, it's essentially a giant atom. | ||
| It really is almost the same thing. | ||
| There's that theory that everything... | ||
| Whether it's this cell, a red blood cell, or skin cell, or... | ||
| We are all... | ||
| It's all essentially... | ||
| Many universes, they all mirror each other on smaller levels. | ||
| So you got the whole universe, and then if you look at a cell, you actually get into the minutiae of a cell and really look at everything that's going on. | ||
| It's every bit as complicated as everything around us. | ||
| It's just a mini version of that. | ||
| So we are reflections, different levels of reflections of the exact same thing, just on smaller or larger scales. | ||
| Which is why the concept of creating a simulation and then inside that simulation, creating a simulation is so fucking nuts. | ||
| It's like the real problem comes when what you can simulate is exactly the same as what you can experience outside of the simulation, then which one is which? | ||
| Right. | ||
| And why is there a difference? | ||
| Says who? | ||
| Because you can knock on it? | ||
| Well, guess what? | ||
| You can knock on it when you're in there too. | ||
| So it's real then. | ||
| Then it becomes real. | ||
| This guy, James Rollins, was again saying that they were also talking about string theory of parallel universes, right? | ||
| The notion that there are different realities right next to each other. | ||
| And maybe that's exactly what it is. | ||
| That's where the hologram, this weird idea that... | ||
| I can't remember how he was describing it, but he... | ||
| Let's just go to the podcast. | ||
| But he was talking about how there is like this... | ||
| It's like a third sort of, well, it's basically a hologram. | ||
| Basically the idea that there's a, this, what we're seeing here is just a reflective reality of something else. | ||
| That's something, I don't know, I don't even have to. | ||
| It's too hard. | ||
| We're too stupid to actually repeat what these people have worked their lives. | ||
| It's so rude to get anonymous. | ||
| It's just like a whole universe. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| It is. | ||
| And you're like, the fuck is it? | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's so true. | |
| Jesus. | ||
| I did my doctorate in that, you fuck. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| It's so incredibly complicated, but thank God someone's doing that work. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| He blew me away. | ||
| He said that the Greeks had kind of had this assumption, had this thought. | ||
| It was like a theory. | ||
| So like in ancient Greece, like this is not a new theory. | ||
| The idea that you're creating your own universe in your mind and that you live inside of some artificial play that's being... | ||
| Well, in fact, it's Plato's allegory of the cave. | ||
| The idea that we live in a cave and reality for most of us is simply reflections on the wall. | ||
| That's exactly what this hologram guy was saying. | ||
| So Plato's allegory of the cave is that we are all in the dark and what we think is real is actually just a... | ||
| on a cave wall and where you have to get out of that you have to climb up and follow the light and then come back and tell people about it. | ||
| But that's the allegory of the cave which is everything is basically forms. | ||
| There is the notion that you can – you may not know – like the idea is that you may not be able to draw a perfect triangle. | ||
| It would always be off a little bit, even if you had all the instruments. | ||
| But you can imagine a perfect triangle. | ||
| You can imagine it. | ||
| And so the idea is that... | ||
| Another great example is... | ||
| This blew my fucking mind. | ||
| You have a mathematician. | ||
| He's 175 years ago, comes out of a dark room and says, I just came up with a mathematical equation. | ||
| By the way, it's 300 pages long. | ||
| It has zero relevance to the material world. | ||
| And oh, by the way, I'm going to die now. | ||
| See ya! | ||
| Dies. | ||
| And here's this equation that's sitting there. | ||
| 175 years later, some guy is measuring the difference between, like, the relationship between quarks and how it relates to this and how it relates to... | ||
| And they're trying to make a gyroscope at NASA or something, or some kind of a telescope. | ||
| And they go, hey, guess what? | ||
| This guy, this mathematician 175 years ago who came up with this mathematical equation, what we're working on right now, that mathematical equation is very relevant to this physical reality. | ||
| So this guy has a dream, comes up with a mathematical equation that 175 years later bears physical reality that we're using in our cell phone or we're using in a telescope or whatever it is. | ||
| It takes on a physical reality. | ||
| So, whatever this guy imagined 175 years ago in his mind, for whatever reason, was put there, and is used 175 years later for something very physical in the physical world. | ||
| It's weird, man. | ||
| And he's like, why was it, why, what happened? | ||
| Why did that guy think of that? | ||
| He was able to imagine a reality that had no bearing on the world today, and 175 years later it did. | ||
| That's where I get really kind of... | ||
| I'm doing a shitty job of explaining all this stuff. | ||
| I know what you're saying. | ||
| What you're basically saying is that someone had an insight into the way things work that no one else had achieved before, and he was so far ahead that no one could figure it out until 175 years later somebody revisited it. | ||
| But it was also more than an insight. | ||
| It was actually a physical, measurable reality that he proved on paper, mathematically... | ||
| Somebody's measuring the inside of a conch shell and how it relates to a beehive's spires or whatever and all of a sudden goes, this mathematical equation is proving my theory. | ||
| It's measuring what I'm using for this particular physical reality. | ||
| You know what that is? | ||
| It's a great example of why we need different kinds of people in this world. | ||
| We need a goddamn broad spectrum. | ||
| Damn right, dude. | ||
| I was watching this Joey Diaz video today. | ||
| Ari Shaffir has this new thing on ComedyCentral.com. | ||
| It's called This Is Not Happening. | ||
| And it's all people just telling the most fucked up stories. | ||
| It's like stand-up comics, but telling insane stories of their life. | ||
| Joey Diaz told one about being on heroin, about doing heroin and doing drugs for years. | ||
| And it was so fucking funny. | ||
| And I was sitting there watching it and I was thinking, thank God there's guys like Joey Diaz out there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| To not just so I could laugh and be around him and have fun, but so that I know what this stuff is like. | ||
| I don't want to do heroin. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I'm not going to do it. | ||
| It's not on the menu. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| He's your, he's your guinea pig. | ||
| But when you talk to a guy that's done heroin as much as Joey has and done coke as much as Joey has and he has these great stories about it and the harrowing, harrowing feelings of addiction that he can relay to you without you ever actually having to do them. | ||
| It's so important. | ||
| And it's also important to have mathematicians. | ||
| Because I'm not fucking... | ||
| You give me that big pile of paper, you might as well have given that to a chimp. | ||
| Of course! | ||
| It's not. | ||
| I don't have the time. | ||
| I'm going to be beaten off. | ||
| I'm going to take naps. | ||
| I'm going to want to work out. | ||
| I'm going to look at my biceps in the mirror. | ||
| That's me too. | ||
| I have to get up and eat all the time. | ||
| I'm going to go play pool. | ||
| I'm going to watch TV. I'm not going to do that. | ||
| I'm pretty disciplined, but I'm only disciplined with shit I like to do. | ||
| I'm disciplined with jujitsu. | ||
| I'm disciplined with working out. | ||
| I'm disciplined with doing comedy, with work. | ||
| I like doing those things, though, so it's not really disciplined. | ||
| The real discipline is trying to do math. | ||
| That's fucking disappointing. | ||
| Well, especially math theory, where you're thinking up these crazy theorems that don't have any numbers. | ||
| Not even numbers. | ||
| It's like letters and weird equations, and you're following some thread that then the answer is, and the answer is 170 pages long! | ||
| What? | ||
| And somebody out there and a bunch of mathematicians go... | ||
| Brilliant. | ||
| Guess what? | ||
| How about that Russian guy that found this impossible theory? | ||
| He was 357 pages long. | ||
| And they wanted to give him a million dollars. | ||
| He's like, I don't want that money. | ||
| Right, because he said, I'm actually, you're giving me the money. | ||
| I'm just the radio transmitter. | ||
| I was just, all I did was channel it. | ||
| It was always up there. | ||
| Give it to the theorem in the sky. | ||
| I just happen to have been, I have a certain wiring. | ||
| That was able to channel the equation. | ||
| What was funny about that, if I'm not mistaken, is they didn't actually even know if the question was valid. | ||
| There was a theory out there that that was actually a legitimate math theory. | ||
| Theorem or question. | ||
| Like, they didn't even know if that was something you were able to think about. | ||
| They didn't even know if it was a reality to think about. | ||
| And he was like, yes it is! | ||
| Furthermore, here's the answer! | ||
| What? | ||
| That is more proof. | ||
| It's so important to have a broad spectrum of people. | ||
| It's very important. | ||
| I mean, you and I are not going to build a good house. | ||
| If we don't have an architect, if we don't have a carpenter, we're gonna do a shit job. | ||
| We're gonna make a tent. | ||
| We're gonna make some shitty lean-to and we're just gonna have to deal with that until we dig up some books that some smart people figured out on how to make a house. | ||
| But it goes back to what I was saying about the allegory of the cave. | ||
| You may not be able to achieve perfection, but you can imagine perfection. | ||
| You may not be able to achieve that theorem, but that theorem can still inspire something else in you. | ||
| And that in itself is where we are connected. | ||
| That in itself is why other people have tremendous value if you open yourself up to those kind of people. | ||
| I always say that it's very important for young people, I always talk about this, And we don't live in a world that fosters this. | ||
| We live in a world that's very much about you, your appetites, how does this affect me specifically? | ||
| It's very important, I think, to expose yourself to things that force you to reach beyond yourself. | ||
| That's where somebody who does something that has nothing to do with you but learning about it or at least being inspired by how difficult it might be. | ||
| It could be opera. | ||
| It could be some great piece of art that you don't understand. | ||
| That's not a bad thing to get involved in or at least read about because not only does it force you kind of to go beyond your own experience… But I think you never know how it's going to inspire you. | ||
| You don't know what it's going to spark inside of you. | ||
| For me, I derive a great deal of inspiration from just being awed by that which I don't understand. | ||
| Yeah, I love to go see shit I can't do. | ||
| That's one of the reasons why I like to go see musicians. | ||
| I love to go see live music because I have zero talent. | ||
| I have zero talent, zero desire, zero ability. | ||
| I know some comedians that really wish they were rock stars. | ||
| I've never had a fucking single second where I thought about being a singer or in a band or playing a musical instrument. | ||
| When are you going to be in Florida next? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Not planned. | |
| There's a group called the Flyers and this kid named Patrick Farinas. | ||
| He plays a guitar. | ||
| I'm just going to... | ||
| I mean, if you're in Florida, if you ever find this guy, Patrick Farinas of the Flyers, he plays a guitar. | ||
| Better than any. | ||
| I've never seen anything like it. | ||
| And by the way, I was with musicians. | ||
| You can't say any more by the ways. | ||
| You're done. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| You have no more by the ways for the show. | ||
| Do I keep saying that? | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| Just remind me. | ||
| Remind me. | ||
| I want to dime every time I do it. | ||
| Did you really say? | ||
| Do I keep saying that? | ||
| Yeah, I don't fear myself. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's your um. | |
| Is it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He plays a guitar so well that I was with other musicians and he jumped out for a guest spot and these two guitars came up to me and they were like... | ||
| I've never seen... | ||
| I've been playing the guitar my whole life. | ||
| And I've devoted my life to him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's his name? | |
| Patrick Farinas. | ||
| He goes, I've never seen anything like it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is he online? | |
| I think he's online. | ||
| How's he not online? | ||
| How's it possible he's not online? | ||
| Yeah, he should be online. | ||
| How old is he? | ||
| 30. Well, how come we haven't heard of him? | ||
| Because he, and I talked to him about it, he's now doing original music before he was doing a lot of cover stuff. | ||
| And now he's doing, and I said, you've got a responsibility, bro. | ||
| Which is, you've got to start doing, you've got to start doing your own original expression. | ||
| Because there's one thing to be technically brilliant and to be, and he improvises within it. | ||
| I mean, he also improvises. | ||
| I mean, dude, he does, he'll do an amalgam, he'll do like a composite set where you're just like, what in the world is he doing with a guitar? | ||
| There's nothing wrong with doing a little bit of cover band action, like a few cover songs, but that's a real trap for young bands that want to perform in bars and make a living. | ||
| Because people don't want to hear your fucking original songs for the most part. | ||
| Especially as background music where they're trying to get laid. | ||
| They want to hear Sweet Home Alabama. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Sing it, bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| We don't want to hear, you know, my time on the lake. | ||
| But you get to a point when you reach physical mastery, like this guy has, and he's gone beyond that. | ||
| He's very innovative with the guitar. | ||
| He's not copping, clapping. | ||
| He's doing his own thing. | ||
| There's a big difference, though, between that and writing your own music. | ||
| There's a giant difference. | ||
| It's like the ability to tell a joke, you know, that you stole from someone, and the ability to write a joke like that yourself. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| We can all name a few people that can't do one of those things. | ||
| We all know a few guys that are really successful that have made a career out of ripping off other people's ideas because of the fact they can't do both. | ||
| This is the dude right here. | ||
| Oh, there he is. | ||
| Yeah, look at him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
much he's shredding He does the craziest things on guitar. | |
| That's one thing. | ||
| That's how that Joe Satriani type shit, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like that he's fat, too. | |
| He's lost weight now, but he's a monster, dude. | ||
| He's a monster. | ||
| He's playing guitar with his face right now, folks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This guitar playing you're hearing right now is with this dude's mouth. | ||
| That's pretty crazy. | ||
| Yeah, he's a nut. | ||
| And he lives in Florida? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| That seems to be the only good thing that comes out of Florida, is occasionally they have some good musicians. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Everything else sucks. | ||
| I mean, I have family members that live there, folks. | ||
| I love people in Florida. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| My actual parents live in Florida. | ||
| But let's be honest. | ||
| Let's be honest. | ||
| Honestly, let's be honest. | ||
| Nancy Grace. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nancy Grace would starve to death if it wasn't for Florida. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| Bitch would have nothing to talk about. | ||
| That's a good joke! | ||
| Barely. | ||
| But, you know, it's like, they came out, like, Skinner came out of Florida. | ||
| There's been some good bands out of Florida. | ||
| But, like, name a good comedian that came out of Florida. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm waiting. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I guess Tom Rhodes. | ||
| Did Tom Rhodes come out of Florida? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I'm sure they're out there, yeah. | ||
| I think, yeah, Tom Rhodes is from Orlando. | ||
| I just appreciate comedy or a musical instrument or anything that takes a really long time to get good at. | ||
| Yeah, I had a buddy. | ||
| I had a buddy that... | ||
| I gotta dance around this without giving out any names. | ||
| I have a buddy that... | ||
| During the 80s, especially, stand-up comedy was pretty fucking wild. | ||
| There was zero accountability. | ||
| There was no emailing. | ||
| There was no... | ||
| People got coked up and they did some wild shit. | ||
| Basically, it was just a story. | ||
| You didn't have to worry about someone Facebook picturing you tied up with a hundred dicks stuffed into your mouth. | ||
| The good old days. | ||
| There was a woman that was working at a comedy club, a manager of a comedy club. | ||
| My friend went down there to perform and fell in love. | ||
| You know, and then started living down there in Florida. | ||
| But then it turns out as, you know, he was there for a little while, he started, people were like, can I talk to you for a second? | ||
| Pulled him aside and they're like, just, you know, I would want to know this, what I'm going to tell you, so I'm going to tell you. | ||
| And just dudes would come into town and just run trains on her. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no. | |
| And she was famous for, like, guys tying her up and, like, all their friends just fucking her face and taking pictures of it. | ||
| Oh, there it is. | ||
| It was just... | ||
| Complete, total chaos. | ||
| Like, no... | ||
| I mean, she was a total wild woman. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And then this poor fuck came into town, and she winked at him and gave him a hug, and he was in love. | ||
| And so he moved there, you know, and crushed him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Crushed him? | |
| Devastated his life, because he married this woman. | ||
| No! | ||
| Yes, he did, yes. | ||
| And then along the way, it started, like, unfalling. | ||
| Like, guys would come into town... | ||
| And, you know, they had been running trains on her for the last ten years, you know, when she was managing this club. | ||
| I'm so turned on right now, but keep going. | ||
| Are we partying? | ||
| She's like, oh, I'm married now. | ||
| And they're like, what the fuck? | ||
| You're married? | ||
| Like, everybody was like, there's no way. | ||
| That's not possible. | ||
| Like, how is that possible? | ||
| And so, eventually she went back to her wild ways. | ||
| Because he divorced her? | ||
| No, well, no. | ||
| Yeah, like almost right away, she went right back to it. | ||
| While she was married? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| So this poor guy... | ||
| Can't say any names. | ||
| This poor guy who was a friend. | ||
| I really liked the guy. | ||
| And we came up together. | ||
| We were in Boston. | ||
| We were open micers together. | ||
| And he had some real potential. | ||
| But it's amazing how a devastating breakup can affect people in such an incredible way that they emotionally never recover from it. | ||
| And it's one of the reasons why, in my opinion... | ||
| It's so important to get children involved in competitive athletics and competitive things so they learn how to lose things. | ||
| They learn how to lose games. | ||
| You learn how to lose relationships. | ||
| You learn how to lose things. | ||
| Losing things is important. | ||
| Expectations that don't come true. | ||
| All that stuff. | ||
| Well, it's also important to know that you can bounce back. | ||
| When you've bounced back before, you understand about bouncing back. | ||
| But when you've only experienced fear... | ||
| And then insecurity and then the devastating feeling of loss compounds that. | ||
| You never want that again. | ||
| You'll orchestrate your life so you'll never fail again. | ||
| And you'll never take a chance again. | ||
| And you also have to have friends. | ||
| Those are important aspects. | ||
| Like a loner who gets dumped, those are the guys that put guns in their mouths. | ||
| But you also need a mentor. | ||
| You need somebody who's been through it before. | ||
| That's where a coach comes in to help you navigate that. | ||
| Not a coach, a buddy, a group of friends, a whole bunch of friends. | ||
| Sure, but there's also, when you are trying to get really good at something, a lot of times you have somebody who's older who can help you navigate through the plateaus, help you get familiar with it. | ||
| That's why, just put your attention on something. | ||
| I don't give a shit what it is taking action, because there's always a lesson there. | ||
| It's almost like... | ||
| The thing in and of itself is less important than what you learn by trying to get good at it in a way. | ||
| Well, it's also because these things like breakups and these devastating events that can happen to a person, they don't get treated with the proper respect by the people that are raising you. | ||
| They get treated like, oh, someone broke your heart, you're going to be fine. | ||
| It's not that simple, okay? | ||
| What you're dealing with is an incredible shift in the emotional state. | ||
| And if this person does not know how to navigate that shift, they don't know how to get out of that situation, it can be a motherfucker. | ||
| Getting your ass kicked can do that to you, you know? | ||
| Being humiliated can do that to you? | ||
| You remember Carrie at the prom? | ||
| They pour the blood on her head and she just fucking goes crazy and people start flying through the walls and shit. | ||
| But that's real. | ||
| That feeling that you can get when people are angry at you or hate you. | ||
| That horrific feeling when you bomb. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Some guys bomb and they literally want to go to the hotel room and slice their wrists. | ||
| I've seen three comics with great potential do really well their first time, do really well their second time, and obviously like stand-up, they get up and try to do the same thing with another crowd, and they die because it wasn't their friends. | ||
| They never do stand-up again. | ||
| And they have potential. | ||
| And they have great potential, but they never do it again, you know? | ||
| This friend of mine, it was an early lesson about what can happen. | ||
| I had some good early lessons. | ||
| I had a real nice girlfriend in high school. | ||
| She was a very, very nice person. | ||
| She was not mean at all. | ||
| But when you're 14 years old, relationships don't really last. | ||
| And from her, I went on to other ones. | ||
| And one of the other ones, I dated this girl that was just... | ||
| You could roll a dick by her like a kitten. | ||
| You could roll a ball of yarn by a kitten and they just jump on it. | ||
| That's what this girl was like. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hold on. | |
| This is your girlfriend? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| She's pretty, too. | ||
| That's a really funny metaphor. | ||
| She couldn't help herself. | ||
| I mean, I've seen people that can help themselves and I've seen people that can't. | ||
| This girl could not help herself. | ||
| First of all, it was Catholic. | ||
| She was raised in Catholic school and they suppressed the shit out of her. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| They make you wear this one fucking outfit, and they suppress the shit out of you, and psychologically, all you had to do was get this girl alone. | ||
| Any guy could get this girl alone, and that was a wrap. | ||
| It was over. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| She was crazy. | ||
| And I didn't really even find out how crazy she was until after we stopped dating, and then she would tell me stories. | ||
| We worked together, and she'd tell me stories about this new guy she was dating, and how she liked him to smack her, and he would beat her up, and she liked it. | ||
| She's like, I don't know what to do because I like it. | ||
| She was so crazy. | ||
| It completely lowered my expectations of loss. | ||
| I came home one day, and I didn't actually come home. | ||
| I was getting up in the morning because I had a paper route. | ||
| I delivered newspapers for a job for a long time. | ||
| Many, many, many, many, many years. | ||
| All throughout high school. | ||
| As soon as I could drive, that was one of my first jobs. | ||
| And while I was fighting, it was one of my jobs because I could make a couple hundred bucks a week. | ||
| All I had to do was get up in the morning by 5 a.m., deliver my newspaper route, and then I'd come back home and go right back to sleep again. | ||
| So I did that for a long-ass time. | ||
| And I would have to get up really early on Sunday morning. | ||
| Essentially, it would be Saturday night. | ||
| So Saturday night at 4 o'clock in the morning, that's when I would be up. | ||
| And outside my house is my friend and this girl, and he's fingering her in the front seat. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, God. | |
| She was crazy! | ||
|
unidentified
|
God! | |
| The girl was crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's so crazy. | |
| So I slam my hand on the hood, and I go, ah! | ||
| And they're like, you know, I was laughing at them. | ||
| Then I got in my car and drove away. | ||
| I didn't say a word. | ||
| And I didn't talk to her for like a week. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| You know what else? | ||
| She was not my girlfriend at the time. | ||
| At that time, she was a girl I was dating. | ||
| I should be really clear. | ||
| Like, I don't think there was ever a time where we were like officially boyfriend and girlfriend. | ||
| We were just dating the whole time because she was crazy. | ||
| You know what helped me a lot? | ||
| And I was crazy too. | ||
| What helped me a lot navigate loss and things was actually movies. | ||
| Good movies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah, like... | ||
| Like Say Again? | ||
| No, like Rocky and stuff. | ||
| When I was wrestling, I remember... | ||
| You think about these seminal moments... | ||
| Say Anything? | ||
| Was it Say Anything? | ||
| That's a great movie, by the way. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| I loved it. | ||
| But you think of these seminal moments in your life, and I remember I was signed up for... | ||
| I went to boarding school because my family was still in Saudi Arabia, and I'm alone there, and I signed up for jogging because I was too afraid to sign up for wrestling because I had done judo before that. | ||
| I was like, oh, these guys are too tough. | ||
| So inside of a jogging, this kid Gary Lane had seen me put some kid in a headlock and he goes, hey, and he drags me over to the wrestling mat and I just signed up and next thing I know I was wrestling and I wonder what I'd be if I hadn't, you know, been a wrestler. | ||
| It changed my whole life. | ||
| But the idea of like when I would lose at something... | ||
| I remember like I would think back to my heroes in movies like Rocky or whatever and just the example of if you lose, keep trying and you'll win in the end. | ||
| It was always that feeling. | ||
| I think that in that sense that's where art or movies can play a big role in your life, man. | ||
| Yeah, but it could also give you some bullshit idea that that white guy could really beat up that black guy. | ||
| Come on! | ||
| Don't ruin Rocky for me, bro! | ||
| Rocky was real! | ||
| 5'8", 160-pound man is really the heavyweight champion of the world. | ||
| By the way, that's exactly right. | ||
| He was 155 pounds when he did Rocky IV. Was he really that light? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How do you know that? | ||
| That's what I read a long time ago. | ||
| From who, though? | ||
| People lie about shit. | ||
| No, he's not a big framed guy, right? | ||
| Now he is. | ||
| He looks big now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But his body was... | ||
| If you look at it... | ||
| If you do 10 IUs of growth... | ||
| Bring up Rocky IV when he fought Drago. | ||
| Take a look at his frame. | ||
| You can see his legs are thin. | ||
| Well, what you really should put up is him at 66 years old. | ||
| There's a picture I put on my Twitter the other day. | ||
| Did you see what Geraldo did? | ||
| No. | ||
| Geraldo Rivera put a picture of himself naked, essentially, with his towel, like, barely over his cock. | ||
| And it said, like, 70 is the new 50. Is Geraldo 70 years old? | ||
| Yes, he's 70 years old. | ||
| And he looks really good. | ||
| Let me see a picture, please. | ||
| Yeah, it's all over the internet. | ||
| And what's really funny is he took it down. | ||
| He put the picture up and then he decided it was like, you know, I don't know, too embarrassing. | ||
| He fucked up. | ||
| You know, look at that. | ||
| Look at that picture. | ||
| He's awesome. | ||
| He looks great. | ||
| Look at that picture, man. | ||
| He's still got that awesome mustache. | ||
| Oh, the mustache is a motherfucker. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Dude, and he boxed. | ||
| I think he was kind of a good box. | ||
| If that guy pulled his cock out and it was holding his knuckles up and going outside like karate chop hand forward towards you with his fat cock, he would be nervous. | ||
| If you broke into that guy's house and his cock was oiled up and he was knuckles up, just pulling it in your direction, you would drop your gum and jump out of a fucking window. | ||
| Well, thanks for an image I've never had in my head until now. | ||
| You got that image. | ||
| Look at how low he keeps the towel. | ||
| Like, you insane bastard. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| He looks great, though. | ||
| Seven years old. | ||
| That's tight skin. | ||
| First of all, he looks like he's about 8% body fat. | ||
| I mean, seriously. | ||
| Look at all the striations in his chest. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The guy obviously works hard. | ||
| He's in incredible shape. | ||
| No doubt, man. | ||
| But I don't know why he didn't keep it up there. | ||
| Fuck all those people, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Let them get crazy. | ||
| At 70, you're allowed to do that. | ||
| At 70, that's fantastic. | ||
| You're not. | ||
| You're not if you're a man. | ||
| If you're a woman, you're allowed to do that at any age. | ||
| A woman can do that at any age. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because we want to see it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But a man, no woman wants to see that and no man wants to see that. | ||
| So it's a dark corner. | ||
| I guess there's probably a few 60-year-olds that are like, I still can get wet. | ||
| No, I heard somebody say one time, the difference between men and women is that women look really good static and men look really good when they're doing what they're good at. | ||
| So when there's movement, playing a guitar, kicking a soccer ball or Maybe. | ||
| I don't think it's really a visual thing as much with women. | ||
| It's certainly an aspect of it, which is why really handsome men do well. | ||
| I mean, there's the facial features and everything, the Fibonacci sequence. | ||
| Yeah, the symmetry of the face. | ||
| That's super important to people. | ||
| But for women, there's all these other variables, too. | ||
| Like personality, sense of humor, the ability to take care of yourself. | ||
| Look at Stallone at 66. Stop it! | ||
| Just shut the fuck up, man. | ||
| Are you kidding me? | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| The inside is black and sponge-like. | ||
| His entire inside of his body. | ||
| It's like it's waiting to make its way to the surface of his skin. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I want what he's on, and I don't care what anybody says. | ||
| And when you look that good at 66, I'm very impressed. | ||
| That's my canary Nicole on. | ||
| Yeah, no kidding. | ||
| Here's the other thought about that. | ||
| People are like, what are the negative side effects? | ||
| You're 66. That's the negative side effect. | ||
| The negative side effect is being 66. No matter what negative side effects the drugs have, they ain't shit on death. | ||
| Okay, because death is the ultimate negative side effect of life itself. | ||
| And it comes a certain point in time where death becomes inevitable. | ||
| Whether it's at 66 or whether it's at 86, you cannot have a physique like that unless you incorporate science into your diet. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You're not getting that from just lifting weights and eating. | ||
| It doesn't exist at 66. It exists at 30. There's 30-year-old guys that are built like that that have never touched hormones, never done anything. | ||
| There's guys that are in their 40s that look fantastic, that have never fucked with anything unhealthy in their life, never done a steroid, never supplemented their testosterone, never done anything but eat good and work hard. | ||
| But at 50... | ||
| And then 66? | ||
| No, they don't exist. | ||
| They don't exist. | ||
| You can't look like that. | ||
| Do you know what's on the horizon for hormones? | ||
| Oh, fuck yes I do. | ||
| Not only do I know what's on the horizon for hormones, hormones are just one aspect of the human body. | ||
| The most fascinating conversation that I had recently for the show was I got a chance to talk to Ray Kurzweil. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I've interviewed him for over an hour. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| First of all, he's a sweetie. | ||
| He's a really nice guy. | ||
| Kind, easy to communicate with. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Intelligent. | ||
| There he is. | ||
| There's us together. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| Great guy. | ||
| But what he was talking about was these... | ||
| New innovations in modern science and medical science that are going to allow people to literally have superhuman abilities out of the gate. | ||
| Nanobots and stuff. | ||
| Yeah, you're going to have a real problem with shit like the Olympics when a person like you can take a shot and then all of a sudden you have these artificial blood cells that are a million times more effective. | ||
| He said you're literally going to be able to hold your breath and jump in. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Four hours. | ||
| Jump into the bottom of the pool and hold your breath for four hours on a single breath. | ||
| Four fucking hours, man. | ||
| That's in the singularity's near. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But when the guy says it to you, to your face, and you know he's a lot fucking smarter than you, it's like one of those, like, what are we up for? | ||
| What's coming? | ||
| He talks about how they reverse-engineered the red blood cell of a dog, and they're doing that with a human red blood cell. | ||
| And now they're going to take a nanobot and they're going to copy it but make it more efficient at what that red blood cell does and then they'll shoot it into you. | ||
| It'll be a red blood cell nanobot and that'll oxygenate your blood. | ||
| And it's going to literally move on from there until we're like Wolverine, until we have adamantium skeletons. | ||
| That's not outside the realm of possibility. | ||
| So crazy. | ||
| We're meshing with machines. | ||
| They're probably not going to do it the way it's in that movie, but if you think about Wolverine the comic book, the whole idea was that he had these metal bones, this incredible metal structure, and then on top of that, he had skin and a body that would heal itself instantly. | ||
| If you cut him, it would just... | ||
| Seal up. | ||
| And you look at it like, oh, that'd be cool. | ||
| That's coming! | ||
| That's 100%. | ||
| It's on the horizon. | ||
| If we keep innovating, that is going to happen. | ||
| If you can hold your breath at the bottom of the ocean for four fucking hours on a single breath, they're going to be able to figure out a way to make your skin heal, not in a week, not in a year, not in six months, but in six seconds. | ||
| You'll grow skin. | ||
| They're going to be able to When are we going to be able to gene dope? | ||
| It's coming too. | ||
| It's coming. | ||
| Myostatin inhibitors. | ||
| That's what they accidentally have when they inbreed those dogs, those whippets. | ||
| And those cows. | ||
| And those cows. | ||
| But they've also started doing it intentionally to mice. | ||
| The mice live longer. | ||
| And they don't lose muscle tone. | ||
| They have giant muscles. | ||
| They look like Hulk mice. | ||
| See if you can pull up a picture of the Hulk mice. | ||
| Hulk mice myostatin inhibitors. | ||
| So when do I get that? | ||
| Because I want to get into the UFC. No, your comedy would be fucking horrible. | ||
| You always want to be vulnerable up there. | ||
| It's so true. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Your style. | |
| It's so true. | ||
| You have to rewrite your whole episode. | ||
| I know! | ||
| I talk about how I'm built for dance and not for war. | ||
| That fucking bit that you did. | ||
| I really enjoyed seeing you. | ||
| Brian and I, we work together sometimes. | ||
| We're going to be working together in Toronto, September 19th. | ||
| But we worked together recently just by freak accident. | ||
| I was in town filming my TV show while he was working at the Improv in D.C., So I came by and got a chance to watch your set. | ||
| Oh my god, it was so fun. | ||
| The shit about running through weed. | ||
| Me and Todd, we were crying laughing. | ||
| It was really funny stuff. | ||
| One of my most satisfying experiences, as far back as I can remember, is listening to you hackle at my jokes when I was doing stand-up, watching one of my best friends in the world. | ||
| There's nothing more satisfying I swear to God, I'm not just saying this. | ||
| I was thinking about that. | ||
| To be able to make somebody like you, not only a great comic, but such a close friend, I was killing you, and I could see you cackling and just loving the stuff that I wrote. | ||
| It's like, I did this, and one of my best, my brother's out there laughing his ass off. | ||
| That's a beautiful feeling, man. | ||
| I haven't had a feeling like that in a long time. | ||
| That was incredible. | ||
| I love that as well. | ||
| That's one of the things I love most about working with guys like Joey Diaz and Ari and Red Band and Duncan is that we love each other. | ||
| You have the greatest laugh, too. | ||
| You're just fucking howling back there. | ||
| Diaz is even better. | ||
| When Diaz is laughing, when I hear him, I hear him, ha ha ha! | ||
| I had a new bit last week in Vegas. | ||
| We were working together. | ||
| We did the joint in Vegas. | ||
| I could hear Joey out of 2,000 people. | ||
| That's so great! | ||
| 2,000 people. | ||
| I could hear Diaz when I was doing this new bit. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| What we were talking about before, about needing support... | ||
| About people, when they get through things, they need support, and it's also why you need to learn how to lose things. | ||
| You also need to be around other folks that are fun and warm and friendly, and that's big. | ||
| And people that you respect, and you look at them, and they make you want to get your shit together. | ||
| They make you want to get things done. | ||
| And if you can... | ||
| If you can accumulate as many of those people as you can in your life, the more you can do that, the more you can be one of those people, and the more you can accumulate those people, the more happy and more enjoyable this thing's going to be for you. | ||
| Yeah, you know, David Bland's doing a new special pretty soon. | ||
| What is he going to do? | ||
| Stand still for a year? | ||
| Yeah, no, he's doing... | ||
| Stand still for one year! | ||
| Dude, wait till you see... | ||
| I helped him edit his... | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's still standing still. | |
| Wait till you see what he's doing now. | ||
| It's six months in. | ||
| Can you keep it up, ladies and gentlemen? | ||
| He's standing still for one year. | ||
| No. | ||
| Nope, he's doing magic for the likes of Bill Gates and Stephen Hawking. | ||
| I'll tell you what, you can do a card trick in front of Stephen Hawking. | ||
| It's pretty fucking easy. | ||
| You can't move his eyes. | ||
| You know what he said, though? | ||
| All I know is the dude, when that special comes up... | ||
| Nothing up my sleeve. | ||
| He can't see your fucking sleeves. | ||
| He sees like a slit. | ||
| Like a gun, like Iron Man's eyeballs. | ||
| That's what he sees, Ford. | ||
| Wait till you see. | ||
| Wait, he came to my house. | ||
| He did my podcast, okay? | ||
| Stephen Hawking? | ||
| No, David Blaine. | ||
| And he comes to my house, and I have a couple of my friends there, all right? | ||
| Brandon Schaub, Dove David, a couple of others. | ||
| They're like, whatever. | ||
| Ah, it's David Blaine. | ||
| He starts doing magic for them. | ||
| Okay, that's a douche move. | ||
| That's like you coming to someone's house and start doing your act. | ||
| You climb up on the coffee table, stick over the magazine. | ||
| No, no, I asked him to. | ||
| That's even worse. | ||
| How about someone coming to your house and you ask him to do jokes? | ||
| That's even worse. | ||
| Listen, until you see him do, until you see him, and hold that thought, next time he's in LA, we'll hang out, and I just want you to, just so you know, your mind will be blown. | ||
| You're going to go, he's magic. | ||
| He's really magic. | ||
| That's what you're going to say. | ||
| Just you suggesting that that could ever happen is exhausting. | ||
| And I am, and I'm standing by it. | ||
| And when you're going to do a podcast and go, Brian was right. | ||
| Brian is right. | ||
| So exhausting. | ||
| He's a freak. | ||
| He's magic. | ||
| He does magic. | ||
| Does he do magic, Brian? | ||
| Oh, but the point I was making is that he said, I was just, now it's lost, but he was saying the most important thing is just surrounding yourself with people that support you. | ||
| I mean, everybody I know is successful always says that to one extent. | ||
| You've got to have people around you that help you go through this shit. | ||
| I don't care how successful you are. | ||
| You always go to periods where you're lonely, where it sucks, where you don't think you're self-doubt. | ||
| You've got to have your fucking friends. | ||
| How many times have I called you when you and I have real talks? | ||
| The NSA has all those on file now. | ||
| I know. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Hey, Snowden, stay where you are. | ||
| Did you see that crazy video, that MSNBC video, where this woman who is an anchor, she's an anchor person, starts like mocking Snowden and telling him to turn himself in? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Psychologically, it's one of the weirdest things you could ever watch. | ||
| You try to look at it and go, I am not sure what the motivation is. | ||
| I've never met a single person that doesn't think that what he exposed is important for people to know. | ||
| Not one person. | ||
| People have disagreed with why he did it, or how he did it, or what was done to compromise American security, if anything. | ||
| But no one thinks that that wasn't important for people to find out about. | ||
| So it's a very subtle and nuanced case, and it's very complicated, and it's also very significant historically. | ||
| Because we know that things are out of control now. | ||
| This is not a doubt in the world. | ||
| When they're looking at every goddamn thing that you're doing, Everywhere you walk, you're photographed. | ||
| I was in London recently. | ||
| You're photographed 255 times a day. | ||
| The fact that everyone's emails are being looked at. | ||
| Everyone. | ||
| And that this Snowden guy, who was just working there, could intercept anyone's email. | ||
| That means other people that are working for the CIA, or the NSA, rather, could just intercept your emails. | ||
| So you could tell people that you're going to go eat some shit, and they go, oh, Brian Cowan's eating shit. | ||
| They know what you're doing. | ||
| A regular person. | ||
| Not a cyborg. | ||
| Not a monk. | ||
| Not a person without emotion. | ||
| Not a person without weirdness or jealousy or hatred. | ||
| Any one person can just decide to look at your shit that works there. | ||
| It's called tyranny. | ||
| It's called tyranny. | ||
| It isn't. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| And nobody's making enough of a fuss about it, in my opinion. | ||
| That's not the American way. | ||
| So look at this woman's reaction. | ||
| I'm going to play this shit. | ||
| Because this is going to freak you out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's kind of. | |
| Really important relationships. | ||
| And we're talking about how you praise countries like Russia and Venezuela for standing against human rights violations and refusing to compromise their principles. | ||
| Seriously, Ed, where do you even come up with that? | ||
| What are you thinking? | ||
| Now, I understand you don't want to come back. | ||
| I mean, to do so would mean giving up your freedom. | ||
| Definitely before trial and likely for several months or years thereafter. | ||
| I get it! | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's in prisons in the U.S. that commit actual human rights violations. | |
| We just talked about it. | ||
| More than 80,000 prisoners are held in solitary confinement, some for years, some indefinitely, despite the fact that solitary is cruel and psychological damaging. | ||
| I know those aren't the human rights violations, though, Ed, that you were complaining about, but you might have nothing to worry about anyway. | ||
| Because unlike most of the people in solitary confinement, including Private Bradley Manning on trial for giving data to WikiLinks, you've cultivated for yourself a level of celebrity. | ||
| And that celebrity itself may just act as the protection, another kind of cloak. | ||
| If you ever find yourself in a U.S. prison, you have made quite a spectacle of yourself, and the Obama administration will be very careful about how it treats you. | ||
| Unlike how states treat all those other prisoners. | ||
| So come on home, Ed. | ||
| Then, you know, we could talk about something else. | ||
| Sincerely, Melissa. | ||
| That's a strange video. | ||
| First of all, it's strange that it got greenlit. | ||
| That some producer said, I like it. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| Let it rip. | ||
| We love your copy. | ||
| You're really good at reading. | ||
| She's one of the worst persons at reading something on television than I've ever seen. | ||
| First of all, you can see that she's got some sort of a speech impediment that she's struggled with since she was young, which probably led her to have this Like, very strong desire for acceptance, which probably led her to think that it would be a good thing to, like, support the government against Snowden in that video. | ||
| I mean, I guess that's what she was saying. | ||
| I mean, it was really hard to figure out what she was saying, because although she was admitting that the government puts people in solitary confinement, she was also, like, saying, like, where do you get this stuff? | ||
| Like, talking about that Venezuela and Russia stands up for human rights violations. | ||
| One of the good things about Podcasting, my learning lesson has been how careful you have to be about saying things you think you know the answer to. | ||
| Isn't that amazing that you do that much and you still are careful? | ||
| But it's part of talking shit. | ||
| Part of the fun, entertaining shit talking is occasionally you get your facts a little bit fucked up. | ||
| Alright, we're not scientists here, folks. | ||
| Hey, I'm trying my best over here. | ||
| But what that woman was doing was really ill-advised. | ||
| It was arrogant. | ||
| It's a very complicated issue. | ||
| And the way she's approaching it... | ||
| So we can talk about other things. | ||
| Sincerely, Melissa. | ||
| Hey, Melissa, this thing that you don't want to talk about might be one of the most significant events in human history. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because we realize that there's no such thing as privacy. | ||
| I don't know if that's sunk in with everybody yet, but it really is... | ||
| Very close. | ||
| I mean, right now it's in the government's hands, and that will eventually trick down to the people's hands. | ||
| I think it's a huge problem. | ||
| I think the fact that I'm always being watched by a video camera somewhere is a huge problem. | ||
| Video cameras are one thing, but... | ||
| But monitoring my emails? | ||
| You guys don't tell me that you're doing that? | ||
| You don't need a warrant for that kind of stuff? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You don't need anything. | |
| It's insane. | ||
| That's not a right. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense. | ||
| And by the way, everybody, sorry to say by the way again, but remember that every dictatorship, every single oppressive government in history has always used national security as an excuse to take your freedoms away. | ||
| That's always the excuse, isn't it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Look at history. | ||
| No, it is. | ||
| It's always the excuse. | ||
| Well, it's a dangerous world and we're here to protect you. | ||
| Nah, no thanks. | ||
| Don't trust you. | ||
| What's a classic thing to do to actually pump up an enemy to get them to become a threat so that you can go and attack them? | ||
| It's your reason to keep the war machine going. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you know what, man? | ||
| That's what happens when you get people that make money off a war. | ||
| And that's why there's supposed to be a bunch of laws in place to keep that from happening. | ||
| That's why Eisenhower got on television and warned about the dangers of the military-industrial complex when he was leaving office. | ||
| All of that exists because it's just like what corporations do to other countries. | ||
| If you're a good person, you wouldn't go to Venezuela and steal their oil and pollute their rivers. | ||
| You wouldn't do it. | ||
| You wouldn't do it because you would see the people cry and see people starve to death and see the fish die and you would go, wow, what I'm doing is fucked up. | ||
| But if you're some evil chemical company and the way to make money is to do that and you have stockholders and you have all these people that are putting pressure on you. | ||
| Yeah, that doesn't answer the equation as much. | ||
| One of those leather chairs that has those those rivets those brass rivets like dug deep into it like in a million different places those puffy leather chairs where they always have like some brandy on a shelf you know with some glasses and a tub of ice that they clink clink as they're pouring a drink talk listen we have a bottom line and I'm not going to Ecuador are you going to Ecuador so fuck the river fuck that river let's get that money And they just somehow or another, | ||
| even if it's not the decision made in that sort of a fashion, an X amount of people, whether it's 4,000 or 400, how many people in that corporation decide to act as an evil unit and decide to do some fucked up shit to make that money? | ||
| Or ignore an inconvenient truth. | ||
|
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Sure. | |
| And if they can do that, they can also – those same sort of – Those same principles of action apply. | ||
| That's how war happens in the first place. | ||
| You can get a giant army of people to behave like psychos as long as the people around them are also behaving like psychos. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| It just becomes your new reality. | ||
| People go to war. | ||
| If you look at how people are motivated to go to war, a lot of times they are motivated around symbols, around slogans, around different kinds of propaganda. | ||
| That's always been the case. | ||
| That's been the case since the Trojan War. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's a characteristic of human beings that you have to – if you're looking at human beings as a set of ingredients, what is this thing? | ||
| Like, okay, say if you have a car. | ||
| You have a Mercedes-Benz. | ||
| It's a 1996. How many horsepower does it have? | ||
| What's it capable of doing? | ||
| How quickly can it stop from zero to 60? | ||
| What are the possibilities of this unit? | ||
|
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Right. | |
| Well, human beings are just like a car in that sense. | ||
| Like, we have a lot of possibilities as far as documented behavior that's completely outside the norm. | ||
| It's a giant spectrum from killing babies to helping old people across the street and planting flowers everywhere. | ||
| We're a bipolar ape. | ||
| Well, there's just so much going on inside the possibility drawer. | ||
| If you open up the possibility drawer of human beings, like, whoo, you better sit down, because this motherfucker's capable of a lot of shit. | ||
| Incredible cruelty, incredible kindness, you know, and everything in between. | ||
| Yeah, so when you lump them all together without personal accountability, you're going to open up the potential for all this craziness, all the worst aspects of human beings when they don't have a direct action, reaction, input from the people that they're affecting. | ||
| That's exactly right. | ||
| When there's no accountability. | ||
| It's mathematical. | ||
| When you can hide behind a huge institution. | ||
| And it's almost not even about hiding behind it. | ||
| It's almost not even about not having any accountability. | ||
| It's a matter of not feeling it. | ||
| Whatever you're doing, you're not feeling. | ||
| This is one of the reasons why people can go fuck you to someone in their car. | ||
| You can drive and go fuck you. | ||
| But if it was on the street and that guy was that close to you, you wouldn't say fuck you to him. | ||
| You wouldn't stick your finger at him. | ||
| You would have to be crazy. | ||
| Yeah, because you've got to respond to that person in front of you. | ||
| You're interacting with them. | ||
| Malcolm Gladwell did that amazing study about how the murder rate went up when they built... | ||
| They had the ghettos, and after they built those huge, huge projects, all of a sudden, you didn't live next to the guy. | ||
| The guy lived in a unit above you, and there was anonymity created. | ||
| So you could shoot somebody for their shoes because you didn't know them. | ||
| You didn't know somebody who was connected to them. | ||
| You didn't know the fabric that they came from. | ||
| It used to be in the Bronx. | ||
| When all those communities came up, they came up around a barter system, around an economic system that kind of happened organically. | ||
| When they put the Cross Bronx Expressway in there and they tore everything down and they said, you know what we're going to do? | ||
| We're going to plan the Bronx on a board. | ||
| And they planted on a board and they created these big projects. | ||
| Let's just put them all in these big buildings. | ||
| All of a sudden the murder rate went up. | ||
| And one of the theories is the fact that you suddenly now, because even if you were in a ghetto, you knew that kid's grandmother, you knew that kid's brother, everybody was connected. | ||
| You all knew each other. | ||
| The minute you put people in those buildings, now they're living in boxes and he's living on the fifth floor, you're living on the first floor, whatever, and you don't have an interaction. | ||
| The economic fabric of that community was destroyed. | ||
| So it became much easier to shoot somebody you didn't know. | ||
| And they're in your close proximity. | ||
| You don't have a relationship with them and they're right on top of you. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Which is very unnatural for humans. | ||
| And this is where I always say that, you know, if you think you can walk around being ignorant in today's world, you're wrong about that. | ||
| Political commitment is important in knowing why you believe something. | ||
| And this is a classic example, in my opinion, of a threat. | ||
| That is very insidious. | ||
| It's not obvious right now. | ||
| It may not be obvious, but that's why the Snowden case is very important. | ||
| It's important to at least, you don't have to have an opinion, just familiarize yourself. | ||
| Familiarize yourself with how these things happen. | ||
| History repeats itself. | ||
| Know that your freedom can be taken away from you in 2013. It can and is being taken away in this country. | ||
| Well, you know, and everybody's like, hey, listen, no one's doing anything to my freedom. | ||
| Just relax. | ||
| Stop getting crazy. | ||
| Instead of looking at it in any way that connects you to it personally, whether you're defending it or whether you're... | ||
| You're violently opposed to it. | ||
| Look at it as a trend, as a human trend, and then it becomes fascinating. | ||
| Because if you take yourself outside of it and you go, instead of going, we have to stop this corrupt government, just look at it, like step back and look at what's happening. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| This is a strange little thing happening here. | ||
| This is a convergence. | ||
| Well, why are the cameras everywhere? | ||
| This is a human convergence. | ||
| I know cameras solve crimes. | ||
| I know cameras do a lot of good. | ||
| But we have to ask ourselves a question. | ||
| You keep bringing up the cameras. | ||
| Well, but they're everywhere. | ||
| And by the way, I feel safer sometimes because they're there. | ||
| And I'm sure it has a positive effect. | ||
| But to what degree are we talking about? | ||
| What is the trade-off? | ||
| And who is saying enough is enough? | ||
| Where is the check and balance? | ||
| That's what I want to know. | ||
| It doesn't exist. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, that's a problem. | ||
| Not only does it not exist, it can exist if you follow the pattern of human behavior. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| It's like when rich people got cell phones, do you remember that? | ||
| It was a long-ass time ago, 1980s and 90s. | ||
| Only rich people had phones, and you would occasionally see a phone, and it was like a cool thing. | ||
| I remember this comic looked into, you know Jackie Flynn? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Funny guy. | ||
| I love Jackie. | ||
| Jackie, he's always had a couple bucks. | ||
| His family's successful business, and he was always a part of that. | ||
| And he had a real nice car. | ||
| He had a Toyota Supra. | ||
| And another comic looked in the window, and he said, oh, I love the way that phone looks, because he had a phone in his car. | ||
| It was like 1989 or something like that. | ||
| Nobody had a phone in their car. | ||
| Way to go, Jackie. | ||
| Play the mean game of golf, too, I heard. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| He's got this phone in his car, and I was like, whoa, only rich people can have phones in their cars. | ||
|
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Mm-hmm. | |
| Now everybody has a fucking phone in their pocket that they carry around with them everywhere. | ||
| Eventually, it got so far away. | ||
| I was in Brazil, and I saw these people in this very poor neighborhood, and they all had phones. | ||
| They were on their phones. | ||
| They were talking on phones. | ||
| It's become so worldwide and world-spread. | ||
| Right now, information is freely accessible only to the people in the highest points of government. | ||
| Right now, it's only the people in the NSA, the people that have made these shady inside deals with internet providers and have gotten access to phone calls and records and text messages and shit. | ||
| It's only them. | ||
| But that's just a trend. | ||
| It's going to start with them, and then the technology is slowly but surely going to be available to everybody. | ||
| That might be a good thing, right? | ||
| It might be a good thing, but it's going to be a different thing. | ||
| And here's a problem. | ||
| Money. | ||
| Because money right now is just ones and zeros. | ||
| Money right now is just confidence. | ||
| It's just information. | ||
| It doesn't exist anymore. | ||
| There's no like, I mean, you can have a million dollars. | ||
|
unidentified
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Exactly. | |
| It's not like gold. | ||
| It's not like you have a stack of gold. | ||
| You have a million dollars. | ||
| So if you go to that bank... | ||
| Those million notes, you can turn them in, they'll give you a million X amount of pounds of gold that equals a million dollars. | ||
| It doesn't exist anymore. | ||
| So if it doesn't exist, what is it made out of? | ||
| Well, it's made out of ones and zeros. | ||
| It's all it is. | ||
| It's made out of confidence and ones and zeros. | ||
| And the rest of it is just woven into this complicated system that's called our financial structure. | ||
| But if you looked at that objectively, you go, well, we have a very complicated system. | ||
| There's no need to worry. | ||
| You stop and you go, what are you talking about? | ||
| You have a bunch of computers and ones and zeros. | ||
| You don't have a real money. | ||
| You don't have a real substance. | ||
| So my point is that I have a theory that as information becomes more and more freely distributed, It's going to happen. | ||
| It's going to get to a point where there's no boundaries. | ||
| There's no boundaries between thoughts. | ||
| Everyone's going to be able to read each other's minds. | ||
| You're all going to be able to communicate through Wi-Fi. | ||
| And you're all going to know everything that everybody else knows. | ||
| You're not just going to know what you tell me. | ||
| I'm going to know what's going on in your mind. | ||
| I'm going to know what you can remember. | ||
| You're like a central neural net. | ||
| And we're going to be able to create artificial intelligence. | ||
| Recording of memories. | ||
| It's far more accurate than the shitty memories we carry around in our brain. | ||
| And when that happens, you're going to have access to mine and I'm going to have access to yours. | ||
| And it's going to be a requirement eventually that everybody has some sort of a neural recorder. | ||
| Because people are going to want to know what you're doing. | ||
| They're going to want to have full access to your thoughts and ideas. | ||
| We're going to be able to solve all the crimes instantly. | ||
| That's going to be the answer to it. | ||
| They're going to say there's going to be 100% accountability. | ||
| No one will ever get away with a crime again because we're all going to know exactly what everybody does when they do it. | ||
| So we're all going to sign up for it. | ||
| What's that say about privacy? | ||
| There's going to be none, but my point is money's going to go that way too. | ||
| There's going to be no money anymore. | ||
| It's going to reach a point where it's just resources. | ||
| And it's just, there has to be some sort of a fair system as far as the distribution of resources. | ||
| But the idea that you're going to keep them in a bank and get them out with a card, good fucking luck. | ||
| There's ones and zeros, man. | ||
| It's not going to mean anything when everyone can get access to it. | ||
| They've already figured out a way, they're on the preliminary stages where they can map, they can, I guess, they show you an image. | ||
| And then they look at your brain activity when you see that image. | ||
| And then when they show you the image again, The brain activity shows up in the same kind of pattern. | ||
| So you recognize something and they can tell. | ||
| So what the idea is is that if you robbed a bank or you were a criminal and you were in a certain place and they show you that place and they scan your brain When they tell you about the place and your brain registers a certain thing, they can show you a picture of it. | ||
| If your brain registers that image, the same kind of brain activity, they can tell whether you've actually seen it before. | ||
| It was this weird kind of idea. | ||
| So we're getting closer and closer. | ||
| But when you say zeros and ones, you're talking about money no longer being real. | ||
| This guy named James Rickards, who wrote a book called Currency Wars, did my podcast, The Pentagon. | ||
| Hired him to stage a currency war. | ||
| So simulate what someone like China could do to our currency system. | ||
| And because it's all computerized and it's all sort of ones and zeros, he basically was hired by the Pentagon to come up with a scenario whereby the Chinese could set up, say, ten fake hedge fund companies that end up You know, doing something to buying all this stock or buying just up a bunch of stuff and getting the market to crash. | ||
| It'd be a very difficult thing to do, but that was his job. | ||
| It was pretty fascinating with the idea where there is no real money. | ||
| You can really manipulate through computers sort of an entire segment of the economy and wreak havoc, theoretically. | ||
| And that's something the Pentagon hires people to try to do and simulate. | ||
| But it was really an interesting kind of concept. | ||
| Well, if your money is based on a computer, I mean, if it's based on calculations, you can protect it. | ||
| You can put up firewalls and you can do... | ||
| But essentially, it's just as vulnerable as a computer is. | ||
| And that's what... | ||
| One of the things about the financial system that I found to be terrifying, when I found out that stocks can be traded by bots, and they can recognize trends and trade, like, second to second. | ||
| Like, do these split-second analysis of trends. | ||
| And constantly keep earning money that way by exploiting the system and understanding which way things are moving and buying and selling. | ||
| So you're just chipping away at the block every couple seconds, making a little bit here and a little bit there, but taking essentially very little risks. | ||
| And by doing that, they can figure out a way to just extract money through a bot and that this is legal and that this is how people use the stock market. | ||
| You take the spread, you mean? | ||
| They figure out which way things are going. | ||
| By the way, the bots can do calculations and input trades faster than a person can. | ||
| They're connected to whatever the fuck our financial system is. | ||
| When I see the Dow and I see those fucking numbers scrolling through the bottom, to me that looks like a close encounter is a third kind. | ||
| Me too, bro. | ||
| The inside of the spaceship. | ||
| If they had the inside of the spaceship and they showed the alien language. | ||
| It's Greek to me, bro. | ||
| It's Greek to me. | ||
| But it's Greek to everyone. | ||
| Even if they understand it, it's still insanity. | ||
| I shouldn't say Greek, but yeah, in a way, look, Greece is fucking bankrupt right now. | ||
| How crazy is it that at one point in time, the greatest culture on the planet Earth, the most knowledgeable and filled with scholars creating beautiful works of architecture and Stuff that people still read today, still inspired by today, some of the great Greek masters. | ||
| And then today, what's going on over there now? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| The fucking whole thing's falling apart. | ||
| It's Detroit. | ||
| It's Detroit the country. | ||
| There's no money there. | ||
| It's a fucking wreck. | ||
| The whole thing's going bankrupt. | ||
| There's 80% unemployment rate or something crazy like that. | ||
| It's just bananas. | ||
| The whole thing's a fucking disaster. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| Like these civilizations can hit these insane heights and then come crumbling down. | ||
| But Greece is a good example of what we're talking about. | ||
| You know, you talk about trends. | ||
| There's also something called a tipping point. | ||
| Shit happens. | ||
| Things start happening. | ||
| If you don't pay attention, things will cascade in a moment. | ||
| So nobody in Greece thought that their system was going to collapse until it was too late. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I say that's the same thing that can happen with your freedoms. | ||
| I think that's the same thing if you're not careful, if you don't know, if you're not paying attention to who the real enemy is, or at least you don't make enough noise, or you're not paying attention to what's going on, that's the kind of stuff that can happen. | ||
| Well, it's also individuals, again, looking out for themselves, trying to extract money. | ||
| It's individuals exploiting a system, a shitty system, individuals exploiting it. | ||
| I mean, the whole housing market in this country, for the people that don't understand it, which is, by the way, everybody, by the way, by the way, Nobody understands it. | ||
| That's how it happened. | ||
| You can sort of be armchair quarterback, and you can sit back Monday morning and sort of second-guess the decisions that were made. | ||
| But the reality is, it sort of exposed that the whole thing is horseshit. | ||
| And the reason why it was horseshit was because the way it was set up, even though it didn't last... | ||
| Was a bunch of people who were able to extract insane amounts of money that made no sense. | ||
| Even though it didn't make any sense. | ||
| This is a fascinating book. | ||
| Did you sell a house? | ||
| You sold a house, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you make a shitload of money on it that makes no sense? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I sold a house in the early 2000s and I made... | ||
| I doubled the price of my house in a couple of years. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| There's no way that should have happened. | ||
| I didn't do anything to that house. | ||
| I fixed a few things, but I didn't completely redo it or anything like that. | ||
| And yet, the housing prices went up so high that I could get 100% more than what I paid for. | ||
| There's a book called The Big Short by Michael Lewis, and he basically traces how this all happened. | ||
| And there was really two people, according to him in this book, and if I'm remembering, it might have been one. | ||
| There were really two people, one of whom has Asperger's syndrome. | ||
| He was in San Jose, California, had a lazy eye, and was a true Asperger's syndrome. | ||
| And basically... | ||
| Six years before this was looking at these mortgage-backed securities, these tranches, and actually breaking them down because he was obsessed with numbers and actually really knew how they worked, how derivatives and everything worked, and he was going, oh, wait a minute. | ||
| These houses and these algorithms aren't reflecting real value. | ||
| And this isn't making sense, yet they're bundling these mortgage-backed securities and selling them. | ||
| And I don't think people are going to be able to pay their mortgages because this isn't making sense. | ||
| And he was saying that six, seven years before that and figured it out. | ||
| And then there was another guy who was this dude who was a broker who I think hooked up with this guy and started looking at it. | ||
| And he was like... | ||
| This doesn't make any sense. | ||
| This whole system is going to collapse. | ||
| They were literally trying to build Noah's Ark. | ||
| It's a great book called The Big Short, and he really does a great job of actually showing the key players who really saw this thing coming and were jumping up and down. | ||
| Did you see Inside Job? | ||
| And they were ridiculed for it. | ||
| Yes, I did. | ||
| If you like Inside Job, read The Big Short because it's amazing. | ||
| Or if you don't like to read, watch. | ||
| Inside Job. | ||
| Because it's amazing. | ||
| And the guy confronts people. | ||
| It confronts all these... | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It turns out, not only was... | ||
| I mean, InsideJob is really an apt name for it because not only was it a crazy fucked up system that people were exploiting, the people that were passing their judgment and saying what is acceptable, what's not acceptable, would eventually get hired by these big banking companies. | ||
| So what they would do is they would be professors at Harvard and they would be economics professors and they would analyze all these trends and they would like, well, our recommendation is that this is good and this is good as that. | ||
| And all they were doing was giving people the green light to extract money and And then they would go work for those people and get these insane fucking jobs. | ||
| Well, the SEC. Incredible money. | ||
| The SEC. And so they looked at the trend of people like going from, you know, like from Harvard to the SEC and the SEC to some insane job where they would get fucking gazillions of dollars a year. | ||
| And they go, oh, oh, they just everyone's corrupt. | ||
| The whole thing's corrupt. | ||
| And when this guy's confronting these people in that movie, Inside Job, and they're freaking out and reacting to him, it's pretty amazing. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's a great documentary. | ||
| It will make you want to throw a hammer through your fucking TV. The question it raises, though, is the incentive structure that was set up to blame, and how do you avoid... | ||
| Because smart people are going to take advantage of a system that's broken. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So how then do you – see, we all know that you're never going to control human behavior. | ||
| I mean it's going to be impossible. | ||
| And when people see an opening, they're going to take it some people. | ||
| So the idea then is how do you create a system that doesn't reward that kind of behavior? | ||
| That seems to be the biggest question. | ||
| Is that even possible? | ||
| Well, one of the ways that smart people will talk about it is to say – You still have, this guy James Rickard, who's on my show, said, the problem with Too Big to Fail, the eight biggest banks in the country, are bigger than ever. | ||
| And what that means is that the U.S. government can't let them fail. | ||
| They can behave very irresponsibly. | ||
| I'm not saying they are right now, but they can if they wanted to behave very irresponsibly. | ||
| And if they screw up again, we have to bail them out because they are the central nervous system of our financial structure. | ||
| Yeah, but the crazy thing is that was all warned about a long-ass time ago, the idea of a bank being too big to fail. | ||
| It's a refuted premise. | ||
| Nothing's happened about it. | ||
| Nothing's happened about it. | ||
| No, nothing. | ||
| Nothing has happened. | ||
| It's gotten worse in some ways. | ||
| And what was my favorite part about it was when they were talking about the bonuses and that Obama was going to limit them to $500,000 because guys were still getting bonuses like millions and millions of dollars. | ||
| And they're like, well, they have to pay them because if they don't, these guys are going to go work for someone else. | ||
| And I remember thinking, like, where are they going to work? | ||
| They're going to work for who? | ||
| How much money? | ||
| How could you possibly get a bonus when your bank is folding? | ||
| Like, what is the bonus for? | ||
| The answer to that, if you listen to a lot of people, is they go, guess what banks do? | ||
| They don't live in a capitalist society, first of all. | ||
| They call Obama a socialist. | ||
| They're the biggest socialist on the planet. | ||
| They have socialized their losses and privatized their gains. | ||
| You lose, don't worry. | ||
| The government will bail you out. | ||
| You're too big to fail, buddy. | ||
| All of them went out there with that. | ||
| You guys talk about being capitalist. | ||
| You guys went out there with, well, we failed. | ||
| Somebody bail us out. | ||
| But you privatize. | ||
| You make all the money. | ||
| You live in a private economy. | ||
| You talk about the market system and the free market enterprise. | ||
| Instead of bitching about this, stop for a second. | ||
| And what would you do? | ||
| What would I do? | ||
| What would you do? | ||
| You're going to be the king of the world. | ||
| I'm going to allow you. | ||
| You have unlimited budget. | ||
| First thing I would do is this. | ||
| Campaign finance reform. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| Take money out of politics. | ||
| Why in the world? | ||
| Why in the world? | ||
| And again, I'm sorry to bring up another book, but don't go to a book. | ||
| Go to the TED lecture and listen to, it's called Republic Lost by Lawrence Lessig. | ||
| And basically, here's how it goes. | ||
| If you're a politician in this country, you are beholden to fundraisers. | ||
| You spend all your time, 40% of your time, calling people you don't know for money because you're not getting elected otherwise. | ||
| How do you solve that problem? | ||
| Take money out of politics. | ||
| There are ways to do it. | ||
| I'm not going to sit here and tell you how. | ||
| There are ways to do it where money doesn't play a big enough role because now we are in an economy of influence. | ||
| You cannot do business as a private corporation without having a pipeline to Washington. | ||
| It takes two hours to get into Washington because 13,000 lobbyists are descending on that capital every fucking day. | ||
| So as long as you create an economy of influence and you have corporations that are manipulating that massive structure, let's start there. | ||
| What do you think is the solution? | ||
| Do you think the solution is the internet? | ||
| Well, that's my second thing. | ||
| There is an America that works. | ||
| And that America that works is the kind of commerce that is going on on the internet. | ||
| eBay and all this other stuff. | ||
| And the government hasn't yet gotten involved. | ||
| That's still a wild frontier. | ||
| And guess what? | ||
| Guess what? | ||
| You and I, regular people, know how to do it. | ||
| We don't need a bunch of licenses and government intervention. | ||
| People, the internet works. | ||
| It works. | ||
| Also, you can't have a bunch of things that are going to influence all of us happening behind closed doors. | ||
| You just can't. | ||
| Of course not. | ||
| You're talking about the NSA now. | ||
| People need to know. | ||
| If there's environmental issues that are coming up and they're being debated inside some closed door where people are making deals and those decisions that they're making could fuck us all up, that can't happen. | ||
| No one should have that ability. | ||
| No one should have that kind of power. | ||
| Let me add a caveat, though, very quickly to that. | ||
| There is something called secret deliberation. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with it. | ||
| Let me finish with this sentence. | ||
| If you look at the Supreme Court, when they come to a decision, they retire to a room and it is a secret sort of deliberation. | ||
| The media is not there because it requires... | ||
| Lots of sober thought. | ||
| It requires changing your mind. | ||
| You can't have people listening and watching the process. | ||
| Okay, but that's a very different thing. | ||
| It is because the decision finally is a public decision that we contend with and we know about. | ||
| Well, not only that, but when someone is in the Supreme Court, theoretically at least, they have the responsibility to adhere to the letter of the law. | ||
| And anyone influencing that, anyone, That's right. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| When you have those kind of decisions being made, you go, oh, they got you. | ||
| They got to you. | ||
| If there's widespread spying on its citizenry— Secretly. | ||
| If they are collecting information from ordinary citizens, I want to know about it. | ||
| Let's have the debate publicly. | ||
| Tell me if it's really that important to stop terrorism. | ||
| Can we have a public debate? | ||
| I want to know about it. | ||
| What's going to happen to that Snowden dude? | ||
| I think he's going to stay in Russia because we don't have an extradition treaty with him. | ||
| Well, if he was smart, he would stay in Russia. | ||
| I don't think the dude should come back. | ||
| That's for fuck sure. | ||
| I don't think he should come back. | ||
| I think there should be a debate. | ||
| I think there should be a debate, a real debate about what the hell is going on with the NSA and how we navigate this problem. | ||
| But meanwhile, they're trying to not talk about it. | ||
| Everyone wants to talk about the new royal baby. | ||
| Everyone wants to talk about Andrew Weiner ripping his cock out. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Geraldo Rivera taking his shirt off. | ||
| None of it matters, man. | ||
| Meanwhile, drones are slamming in the huts. | ||
| Look, Thoreau said, I see man everywhere striking at the branches of evil while none are hitting the root. | ||
| You've got to know where the root starts, man. | ||
| So you know where the real enemy is. | ||
| That's very important before you strike out. | ||
| You've got to know and that takes some work. | ||
| You've got to earn that. | ||
| And that's why I recommend the book Republic Lost or at least go to TED.com and listen to Lawrence Lessig show you why we are losing our republic. | ||
| He does a very good job about it. | ||
| People argue with it. | ||
| Sat next to a guy on a plane who is an editor at Newsweek who said he doesn't know what he's talking about. | ||
| But I was very convinced and it was very scary. | ||
| Well I think that the responsibility for running this entire society cannot rest in secret hands anymore. | ||
| And I think the only way for society to progress the way the culture of human interaction has progressed since the internet, the only way for society to catch up is to take away power. | ||
| They have to relinquish power. | ||
| It has to be done. | ||
| That's the only way you're going to have a culture that is advancing commensurate with the amount of people that are advancing. | ||
| Because otherwise you're going to have a bunch of people that are trying to control and steal resources and hold on to influence and hold on to power. | ||
| And they're going to realize that there's fucking pounding at the gates everywhere. | ||
| And they're not going to open up the gates. | ||
| They're going to try to bolt them down more. | ||
| And they're trying to scare people away from the gates. | ||
| And that's what we're seeing now. | ||
| What we're seeing now with things like going after these whistleblowers as if they were the most evil people in the world. | ||
| Meanwhile, the government itself is responsible for thousands of people dying in drone attacks that were innocent. | ||
| That's thousands of murders. | ||
| And no one is getting in trouble for these accidental murders. | ||
| Accidental, of course, but murders still. | ||
| But yet, this Snowden guy is public enemy number one, and they're pulling down planes with the president of Austria in them. | ||
| They're diverting planes because they thought that he was going to Austria. | ||
| They land with this fucking guy, and they're like, let me check your plane. | ||
| And then he's like, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| Because they thought that Snowden was on this cat's plane. | ||
| I mean, they're taking planes out of the sky, royal planes from other countries. | ||
| It's craziness. | ||
| And why is it? | ||
| Because this guy caught people doing shit that is illegal, immoral, and not wanted by any of the people that voted folks into power. | ||
| If you had a vote today, should the NSA be able to look at everyone's email and everyone's fucking cell phone records? | ||
| Don't say no. | ||
| A hundred percent! | ||
| If you didn't say no, you're a bitch. | ||
| You're not an American. | ||
| You're a fucking cunt, you fascist piece of shit. | ||
| Here's the deal about the government. | ||
| They're just people. | ||
| There is no government. | ||
| There's a bunch of people that act as the government, but the reality of the government is they're just people. | ||
| And a lot of good people, by the way. | ||
| Imagine if there's only two government and then you're the only population. | ||
| There's two people in government and you're the population and they're telling you you can't smoke weed, we're going to lock you in a cage. | ||
| You would kill them. | ||
| You would say, okay, well I'm living with these people I'm going to have to kill because they're trying to stop me from doing a bunch of shit that doesn't have anything to do with them. | ||
| The idea only becomes reasonable when you're governing 300 million people. | ||
| Then it's okay to throw them in a cage if you catch them with a trunk full of heroin. | ||
| But if we were on an island together and it was just you and me and I caught you doing heroin, I'd be like, dude, what are you doing? | ||
| I wouldn't build a fucking bamboo cage and dig a hole and throw you in the bottom of it. | ||
| The other issue is this. | ||
| If you have a government where the people in it Maybe good people, but the only way to get ahead is by acting and behaving corrupt. | ||
| That's the insidious thing. | ||
| Let me give you an example of when you go to Capitol Hill and you are a politician and you're making $120,000 a year. | ||
| You know what you're in? | ||
| You're in grad school. | ||
| You know what the big kahuna is? | ||
| You know what you want to do? | ||
| You want to work there for six, seven, eight years. | ||
| And Lawrence Lexic does a good job of showing this. | ||
| And then you want to go work on K Street and For a lobbying firm making $500,000, $600,000, $700,000 a year. | ||
| That's the goal. | ||
| Government has become big business. | ||
| Government has become a business unto itself. | ||
| It's just like any other business. | ||
| It becomes competitive. | ||
| People want to get ahead. | ||
| The only way to get ahead is to make progress. | ||
| The only way to make progress is to move forward. | ||
| What's it doing right now? | ||
| I've got to move it further. | ||
| The only way to make money is not by pulling back. | ||
| And having less war and less this and less that and less control. | ||
| No, the way to make money inside this system is to keep it pushing forward. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| But I think it's going to lose its power. | ||
| I don't think it's going to be a revolution. | ||
| Yeah, as you talk, one of the things I was thinking about is I'm optimistic in the sense that I don't know how you control. | ||
| You can't control the truth. | ||
| The internet is... | ||
| The access to information that people have has never been better in that sense. | ||
| And we are developing our own autonomy in many ways. | ||
| Look, you and I have a business that we run primarily through the internet. | ||
| I mean, you know, developing an audience, doing podcasts, all these kinds of things, going on the road. | ||
| You can actually start becoming your own entity, your own sort of source of income, your own everything. | ||
| And that's pretty new. | ||
| I mean, so much of it is, you know... | ||
| Owning your own business, branding yourself has never been easier in some ways. | ||
| Never been easier. | ||
| I would have never been able to do it before. | ||
| And I was very fortunate enough to witness many different aspects of the birth of the internet. | ||
| And one of the things that I got a chance to witness was I was there when the UFC existed only on the internet. | ||
| The UFC lost its ability to be on cable. | ||
| They got banned from cable. | ||
| I remember that. | ||
| So the only way people knew about it is if you had DirecTV, which wasn't as popular back then as it is now. | ||
| I mean, we're talking about the 1990s, the early 90s. | ||
| And other than that, you would hear about it on the internet. | ||
| You would go on these forums with your shitty-ass modem, your 56k modem, like chunk-a-chunk, chunk-a-chunk. | ||
| As it would slowly move its way down the page until you could download the website. | ||
| And that's how I found out almost about all the events and different things that were going on. | ||
| Like the MixedMartialArts.com. | ||
| It used to be, I think it was SubmissionFighting.com and then it was MixedMartialArts.com and then it was MMA.TV and then it's MixedMartialArts.com and it became... | ||
| What's that noise? | ||
| Dialing. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Don't do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thanks. | |
| Yeah, that sound, I mean, those websites from back then, like, doing that... | ||
| It was the only way people communicated about information. | ||
| If it wasn't for that, no one would have any idea that it was even still on anymore. | ||
| Once you pull shit off cable, it's like it doesn't exist anymore. | ||
| It's gone. | ||
| But because of people like, where the fuck did it go? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| And so they would get online and these communities sort of developed where people started talking about things online. | ||
| So I got to see a sport from mixed martial arts literally go from almost dying to being partially revived to taking off. | ||
| All primarily through the momentum of the internet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Incredible. | ||
| Yeah, this is a totally different world. | ||
| Being a stand-up comic and being a musician or being, you know, it's... | ||
| I mean, look at even like TV shows. | ||
| House of Cars winning all these awards, man. | ||
| It's strictly internet, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're getting everything from... | ||
| Why wouldn't you? | ||
| Well, they're bringing... | ||
| Netflix is bringing back Arrested Development. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| People are like, what the fuck? | ||
| Why'd they cancel that show? | ||
| I was just with Will Arnett in New York. | ||
| He was doing... | ||
| He's been doing it. | ||
| They got him, everybody together, and 10 years later, they're all doing it. | ||
| There's so many people on Netflix now. | ||
| And Netflix just announced they're going to start doing stand-up comedy specials. | ||
| I did my first special on Netflix. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| One of my first specials. | ||
| I'm thinking about it. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Fucking great. | ||
| I still, to this day... | ||
| They all watched my first special on Netflix. | ||
| Why wouldn't they watch... | ||
| Why not just go right to Netflix and do it? | ||
| To this day, I get tweets about my 2005 special from Netflix. | ||
| That was the one, the beginning, the whole eat the sandwich thing. | ||
| About society and human beings are sort of like mold on a sandwich that I think we might be here to eat the sandwich. | ||
| You know, it's the horrifying revelation. | ||
| There's a recent article about the Pacific Garbage Patch, about the new measurements of the Pacific Garbage Patch. | ||
| How big is it? | ||
| It's closing in on California. | ||
| It's getting closer to us. | ||
| If you haven't paid attention to this, this is something we haven't talked about on the podcast in a long time, but Google Pacific Garbage Patch. | ||
| It's essentially like there's a tide, there's a current. | ||
| The way the oceans move, the way the currents move, it developed this sort of area where all the shit that's floating in the ocean coalesced and combined into this enormous soup of fucking rotting plastic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Slowly degrading plastic that kills millions of animals a year. | ||
| It kills millions. | ||
| Can't we go in there with scoopers? | ||
| It's like Texas-sized. | ||
| It's so big, it's insane. | ||
| And it's not like a solid thing. | ||
| It's like soup. | ||
| Yeah, it's little pieces. | ||
| Yeah, and in the sun and in the ocean, the salt water and the surf and everything like that, It slowly breaks down until it's like floating pellets of shit. | ||
| Yeah, and what's it? | ||
| Fish and everything eats it. | ||
| They eat it and they die. | ||
| Fish, birds, they eat it and they die. | ||
| Just millions of them. | ||
| And the whole thing is enormous. | ||
| And no one's cleaning it, and it's getting bigger. | ||
| It's constantly getting bigger. | ||
| I have to believe that through technology, 3D printing and stuff like that, we're going to have less waste, less transport, right? | ||
| I mean, I don't know. | ||
| That's an interesting possibility. | ||
| I think the ultimate reality, which would be the best, is if we develop something that can eat plastic and somehow you can control it. | ||
| Well, they have those kinds of things, but it's a question of, yeah. | ||
| But it's also, look, what happens once it gets done eating plastic? | ||
| Well, hmm, I like people too. | ||
| There's no more plastic? | ||
| Let's start eating feet. | ||
| There are bacteria that we do use, I guess enzymes and bacteria that actually do that now, but whether or not it's biocompatible, those are the questions at the March of Science. | ||
| Well, there's been some thought about doing various things to clean up the ocean, and one of the things is actually introducing certain algaes. | ||
| And introducing iron, taking metal and creating metal structures and putting these metal structures in the bottom of the ocean that would attract various types of algae. | ||
| And that various types of algae, those would re-oxygenate through their use of whatever the fuck they need in the ocean and actually clean up some of the water. | ||
| Sometimes I feel like all these problems are put there for a reason that anything is surmountable. | ||
| Oh, you're so cute. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Anything is survival. | ||
| It's all for a reason. | ||
| No, no, just anything is solvable. | ||
| Everything that happens, happens for a reason. | ||
| Yeah, well that stuff is all annoying. | ||
| It's annoying, but then it's not, right? | ||
| Well... | ||
| Because I'm with you. | ||
| I believe it. | ||
| I know what you're saying. | ||
| I believe it's a... | ||
| I mean, anything, any challenge... | ||
| Human beings do incredible things, man. | ||
| Yeah, there's no doubt. | ||
| And human beings come up with... | ||
| Do you ever hear the story about Morse, the guy who created Morse Code? | ||
| Like, that was the most revolutionary. | ||
| It was the turning point in history. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Morse, Morse, because if you think about it, Alexander the Great... | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| In 19—it was 1820 when it was invented, I think, when the first time they actually—I think it was 1819, when the first time they actually had a 10-mile stretch of wire, and the guy was able to send a message. | ||
| And before that—think about this—before that, the guy before 18-whatever, 1815, he had to send a message the same exact way Alexander the Great did— Either on horseback, either on foot, or either by boat. | ||
| And when Morse Code came out, and Morse was a guy who was a really, really successful painter. | ||
| And he had nothing to do with electromagnetic fields or anything. | ||
| He was a really successful painter. | ||
| His wife, he gets a letter that his wife is very sick. | ||
| He loved his wife in Connecticut. | ||
| By the time he gets there, she's not only dead, she's been buried. | ||
| And he said, there's got to be a way I can get information faster because it killed him. | ||
| It was this tragedy. | ||
| Seven years later, he's on a boat. | ||
| He meets this electromagnetic engineer. | ||
| He starts talking to him. | ||
| He gets fascinated with the idea that maybe I can come up with a way to use electromagnetic fields to send a message. | ||
| About 10 years after that, he invented something called Morse code, this painter, because he was so heartbroken over his wife. | ||
| And the world has never been the same. | ||
| That was a bigger communication leap, actually, than the internet, because it was the first time we were able to send instantaneous messages. | ||
| And I think five years later, we finally had a wire from New York to New Orleans, which was so much faster, and you could get instantaneous communication. | ||
| The world was never the same. | ||
| And of course we built on that. | ||
| But the history is so full of individuals that were trying to solve a problem that seemed insurmountable. | ||
| And oftentimes it was because they basically, like Alexander Fleming, had a cold. | ||
| His snot fell into... | ||
| He had all these Petri dishes working on different spores and stuff. | ||
| And he decided to clean stuff out himself. | ||
| He never used to clean his own Petri dishes. | ||
| He had a cold. | ||
| His snot fell into one of the moldy dishes. | ||
| And he realized that the bacteria under the microscope, the mold had killed all the bacteria. | ||
| And he went, wait a minute. | ||
| That's how he invented a little something called penicillin, which then became antibiotics, which is why people are alive. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| So many of these things either happened through accident with individuals or people were trying to solve a problem. | ||
| Yeah, that's one of the things about life is that you need struggle. | ||
| It seems like you shouldn't have it, but you need it. | ||
| And one of the worst things that can happen is when people don't struggle anymore, and then they start to suck. | ||
| And they used to be awesome. | ||
| You see it with musicians time and time again. | ||
| You see it with certain comedians. | ||
| You see it with certain writers. | ||
| You see it with certain actors. | ||
| They lose whatever the fuck it was that they had when they were struggling. | ||
| When they were struggling and they had to show up. | ||
| Sometimes it's good to be criticized. | ||
| Sometimes it's good to fail. | ||
| Because that fail can be like a turbocharger that kicks you into the next space. | ||
| A wolf at the door is usually luxury. | ||
| Some of my biggest leaps in my comedy career have come after bombing. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| My biggest leaps, one of my biggest ones ever in New York came after bombing. | ||
| One of my biggest ones in Boston came after bombing. | ||
| I've had them in LA that came after bombing. | ||
| One of the reasons why I just, I dove back into comedy. | ||
| I bombed one night at the comedy store when I was doing news radio and a bunch of the writers came to watch me and I ate dick. | ||
| I ate dick at 1am. | ||
| That's terrible. | ||
| It was the main room at 1am. | ||
| You've been there? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| That's the spots that I used to get back then. | ||
| I was a nobody. | ||
| So I was going to get these spots after everybody had ripped that place sideways, and there was 20 people left, and then I went on to this dead crowd with my shitty dry jokes. | ||
| 20 alcoholics, some who don't speak English, just stirring their drinks. | ||
| Oh, I've been there. | ||
| It was death. | ||
| And then I realized, oh my god, I'm coasting. | ||
| I realized I went up there, I thought I could do the same jokes I've been doing for years with no passion and no energy and no excitement to them. | ||
| And I felt it while other people took it in because the room wasn't giving me nothing. | ||
| I had to bring it myself. | ||
| And you can bring it if you're good. | ||
| You can bring it if you actually have it. | ||
| But that's when you find out if you're faking it, when there's 10 people in the crowd. | ||
| Anything less than 50 people, you can't trick those fucking people into laughing. | ||
| You're either funny or you're not. | ||
| But a 200 person, you can sometimes... | ||
| We all know, and no disrespect, but we all know those people that can go on at the Laugh Factory at like 8.30 on a Friday when everyone's laughing and everything, and you can watch this... | ||
| Bizarre mayonnaise sandwich of an act where you're like, what did I even just say? | ||
| But yet the pauses are in the right place and people are laughing and the person's dressed right and they don't stay too long. | ||
| You do like 10-15 minutes and good enough. | ||
| You hit on enough buzzwords that people like, oh, you brought up some things that people think is funny like Kanye West or whatever. | ||
| It's enough. | ||
| You did it. | ||
| You were safe. | ||
| You got through it. | ||
| But that same person, put them on the comedy store at 1am in front of 20 people and they will get nothing. | ||
| Zero. | ||
| It's the death march. | ||
| Those shitty dry words tumbling out of your mouth like dirt. | ||
| Like literally dirt coming out of your mouth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, you know, they always say, why was Louis Armstrong so great and some of those black musicians who were doing incredible things with a horn? | ||
| And there was this historian, I can't remember his name, who said, well, when you were black back then, you weren't allowed to speak your mind. | ||
| You expressed yourself through your horn, man. | ||
| And he was trying to say something. | ||
| He was really trying to say something through that horn, yeah. | ||
| So it really is a question of what your motivation is and how important inspiration and motivation is to keep yourself going, man. | ||
| Yeah, you have to have something, man. | ||
| You gotta be uneasy. | ||
| I keep myself uneasy. | ||
| I don't do it because I'm better than other people. | ||
| I don't do it because I'm smarter. | ||
| I do it because I failed. | ||
| And I realize why I failed. | ||
| I realize what made me fail. | ||
| And then I don't do it that way anymore. | ||
| It's really that simple. | ||
| I'm not better than anybody. | ||
| What I am is a guy who did a lot of shit and failed. | ||
| Miserably a bunch of times and then hated that feeling and made sure that I didn't do that again. | ||
| So the only reason why I keep myself uncomfortable now is out of sheer terror. | ||
| The feeling that I had before when I've bombed or when I've half-assed something or when I haven't I haven't pushed as hard as I can. | ||
| I'm also driven. | ||
| I want to see what I have inside me. | ||
| I'm curious. | ||
| I'm also really driven by curiosity for myself. | ||
| That's an ego thing, isn't it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| The idea of seeing what's inside you? | ||
| No, I don't think it's an ego thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think for me it's like, what's inside me? | |
| My buddy, my buddy I was just with, I went to visit in Europe. | ||
| He's made about a billion dollars, went to college with him. | ||
| And I'm not kidding when I say that. | ||
| He's got the craziest house. | ||
| And I said, what drives you, man? | ||
| I said, you own the two fastest growing banks in Europe. | ||
| You've got crazy money. | ||
| The staff were flying around in your private jet. | ||
| What is it that drives you? | ||
| And he said, he looked at me and he goes, look man, I like building things because I'm never sure if I can really do it. | ||
| It's just always a rush to be able to try to build something and see if I still have it. | ||
| See if I can still do it. | ||
| See if it's a new challenge and just try it. | ||
| And it has nothing to do with the money. | ||
| That's just, he's made more than anybody could ever spend. | ||
| Yeah, well that's when it becomes like a weird game that you're playing. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Like for Bill Gates, at a certain time, Bill Gates had to realize that he could never spend all that shit. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| If you really do get to keep it, like I'm not sure what happens when you have $98 billion when it goes up $50 billion and then down. | ||
| When the market shifts, like that's the weirdest thing about those guys when you look at like their net worth. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then like it used to be $90 million or $90 billion, now it's $40 billion. | ||
| You're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Where the fuck did that go? | ||
| What happened there? | ||
| You lost 50... | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| What are you even saying? | ||
| But at a certain point in time, if he stopped now, how much money would he have every year just to spend? | ||
| It would be an insane amount of money. | ||
| He's done. | ||
| There's that thing about Bill Gates 10 years ago when they said if he dropped $40,000 out of his pocket, it wouldn't be worth him turning around to get it because his time is worth much more than the time it would take. | ||
| To actually turn around and pick up the $40,000. | ||
| It would be financially prudent for him to keep walking. | ||
| That hurts my brain. | ||
| I love that stuff. | ||
| No, no, no, you dropped $40,000, whatever it was, or something crazy like that. | ||
| I was looking online at houses that rich people own, like Oprah-style houses, and Oprah has houses everywhere. | ||
| But she's got this house in Montecito, which is the nice area outside of Santa Barbara, like really old-school, beautiful homes, really beautiful, beautiful neighborhood near the ocean. | ||
| And her house, it's like, how do you have enough money for this is one of your houses? | ||
| It doesn't even make any sense that one person can accumulate that much money. | ||
| And then when you stop and look at it and go, wait a minute, how did she do that? | ||
| She's just talking. | ||
| Oprah doesn't do shit. | ||
| She's not juggling. | ||
| She doesn't play guitar. | ||
| She doesn't play guitar. | ||
| She's not the fastest race car driver. | ||
| She doesn't pole vault. | ||
| All she does is talk and go, we'll be right back. | ||
| And like... | ||
| She's got a hundred fucking kazillion dollars. | ||
| Because she was a source of major inspiration for millions of women. | ||
| It's insane to look at her house. | ||
| Is it crazy? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| Well, I remember when I was doing Fat Actress and she was redoing Kirstie Alley's Kitchen. | ||
| And the kitchen... | ||
| Oprah was doing it? | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Why was she doing that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Something that she decided to do, redo Kirstie Alley's kitchen that was going to be on the program, you know, that they showed it on at Oprah. | ||
| Oh, I see. | ||
| And I was there while they were renovating it. | ||
| I believe that... | ||
| I'm sorry, Kirstie, if I'm talking out of line, but I think it cost $700,000 just to redo the kitchen, dude. | ||
| $700,000 to redo the kitchen. | ||
| What kind of fucking kitchen was it? | ||
| What are you talking... | ||
| I don't know, just big. | ||
| Not worth $700,000 to me, but it was all detailed with incredible mosaic and all that stuff. | ||
| Well, you gotta think that she's, like, really big, and she probably eats a lot of food, and so you need a lot of refrigerators and shit. | ||
| As far as, like, hot chicks that got gigantic, she's numero uno. | ||
| There's never been, like, a super hot chick who got gigantic and then stayed arrogant. | ||
| She's very extreme. | ||
| Yeah, like, stayed out there, stayed bold, you know, out there, you know, would talk about losing the weight, and then lose weight, you know, drop 100 pounds, you know, do a fucking weight loss commercial. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She went cold on me. | ||
| We hung out. | ||
| I loved her kids. | ||
| And we did that show. | ||
| And then she just never called me back. | ||
| I was like... | ||
| What happened? | ||
| After you did the show, you stopped being friends? | ||
| No, even during. | ||
| While we were doing Fat Actress, something happened where she... | ||
| Did you fuck her? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| No, but she just went cold on me. | ||
| I never understood it. | ||
| She just went dead cold on me. | ||
| Is she a Scientologist? | ||
| Never even looked at me. | ||
| Yeah, she was a Scientologist. | ||
| I'm reading Going Clear now on your recommendation. | ||
| Great book. | ||
| Great book. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Woo! | ||
| Just you wait, bro. | ||
| Yeah, I'm about 50 pages in. | ||
| I just started it. | ||
| Oh, please continue. | ||
| It's absolutely fascinating. | ||
| He also wrote a great book, Lawrence Wright, about the Looming Tower, which I also read about the rise of Islamic fundamentalism culminating in 9-11. | ||
| Fascinating. | ||
| You have to read that next. | ||
| You have to. | ||
| You just have to. | ||
| I would love to. | ||
| Any religious fundamentalism scares the shit out of me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a prisoner. | ||
| Scientology is a religious fundamentalism and that's what's fascinating about his book. | ||
| Religious fundamentalism has nothing to do with the truth. | ||
| It has nothing to do with some ancient shit that God told people. | ||
| It has to do with another possibility of the human existence. | ||
| Just like we were talking about a car that a car has a bunch of shit it can do. | ||
| It can hit the brakes. | ||
| You can corner at 1G. You can accelerate to 60 in 5 seconds. | ||
| It has all these things that it can do. | ||
| Well, it can also fall into a cult. | ||
| That's what a person can do. | ||
| All the shit that a person can do. | ||
| A person can make coffee. | ||
| A person can use a computer. | ||
| A person can have sex and make a baby. | ||
| Oh, they can also fall into a cult. | ||
| We were in Utah filming my show last week, Duncan and I, and we showed up at the airport and it was one of the strangest things I've Been there many times. | ||
| They had these people that were returning from missions, and they were elders. | ||
| They called them elders in the church. | ||
| And they had all the people there with signs, right? | ||
| Screaming like they're rock stars. | ||
| I mean, high-pitched cheers and screaming with these giant signs that say, Welcome home, Elder Richardson. | ||
| Welcome home, Elder White. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| My parents live in Park City, so I see them. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, yeah. | |
| That's where we went. | ||
| We went to Park City. | ||
| We ate at Park City, and then we did our thing, which was about two hours outside of that, which is God's country, man. | ||
| Just fucking beautiful. | ||
| And Park City, I'd only been there in the winter. | ||
| My parents have a great house. | ||
| We went skiing there once in the winter and it was beautiful. | ||
| But then we went there in the summer and they told me what's even better than skiing is you take the lifts. | ||
| The lifts operate all year round. | ||
| You take the lifts and you take a mountain bike down those hills. | ||
| Those perfect ski hills. | ||
| They say it's insane because you got brakes now. | ||
| So you can go fucking driving a bike down those hills. | ||
| It's supposed to be amazing. | ||
| You don't have to drive up. | ||
| You take the lift back up. | ||
| Have you done it with a dirt bike? | ||
| A mountain bike? | ||
| Not a mountain bike. | ||
| It's supposed to be amazing. | ||
| It's supposed to be even more fun than skiing, which sounds crazy. | ||
| But the area there, it's so goddamn gorgeous, man. | ||
| I've been hiking up there. | ||
| It's so gorgeous. | ||
| I leave my parents' house and just go hiking, and I do it alone. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| It almost doesn't bother me that all these fucking people are crazy religious there. | ||
| Well, Park City, there aren't a lot of Mormons. | ||
| No, they're not. | ||
| It's Salt Lake. | ||
| But you gotta land in Salt Lake. | ||
| But they're nice people! | ||
| I was gonna say, they're very nice people. | ||
|
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They're nice! | |
| They keep a very clean state. | ||
| I got no problem with Mormons. | ||
| I never got beat up by a Mormon. | ||
| Listen, I have some friends that were Mormons. | ||
| We were friends with them when they were Mormons and they eventually bailed. | ||
| It's really kind of interesting to watch them bail on being a Mormon. | ||
| Because they got to a certain point in their life where they're like, what the fuck are we doing? | ||
| Which is really interesting to see when people hit like 40 and then they start doing that. | ||
| But these people living in this state, and a giant percentage of them being involved in this one cult, but that cult seems to work for them, for the most part. | ||
| They get those weird aberrations, like they branch off occasionally and have that one guy that got arrested. | ||
| What was his name? | ||
| Jeff something or another? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| What the fuck was that guy's name? | ||
| The Mormon church, I believe, outlawed polygamy like in the 1800s. | ||
| And then there was a sect that split off. | ||
| A bunch of guys who were perverts who were like, bullshit. | ||
| Which I sympathize with. | ||
| Jeffries, right? | ||
| Yes, yes, yes. | ||
| And he went to jail for a long time. | ||
| Yeah, well, what's even more interesting is that one of those groups that branched off because they didn't want to give up the polygamy... | ||
| Was the guy who was running for president, Mitt Romney's family. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Mitt Romney is a super Mormon. | ||
| In fact, his family lives in Mexico. | ||
| His father couldn't run for president because his father was born in Mexico. | ||
| Really? | ||
| So Mitt Romney was born in America, but his dad was a part of the cult that moved to Mexico because they didn't want to give up the pussy. | ||
| So they have these... | ||
| It used to be... | ||
| I might just vote for Mitt Romney next time. | ||
| Back before there were cars, it didn't matter if you were in Mexico. | ||
| It's like, you're in Mexico, you're in the United States. | ||
| In the 1800s, it was like, they were like, well, if you want to be an American, you cannot have multiple wives. | ||
| They're like, oh, but I can have multiple wives and I just cross that river? | ||
| Take care. | ||
|
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See you later. | |
| Ta-ta for now. | ||
| And then all of a sudden, you're over there, and then someone invents something called cars. | ||
| Well, the whole world changes, because now people are moving back and forth, and it's real easy to do so. | ||
| And then you realize, oh shit, there's a wall between me and the most prosperous area, and it's right over there. | ||
| And then the area around you becomes filled with people that are involved in something called the drug war. | ||
| And now you're fucked. | ||
| So now his family that lives in Mexico, they're armed to the teeth. | ||
| Really? | ||
| They live in giant compounds. | ||
| Where'd you see all this? | ||
| This is all Vice. | ||
| Vice.com, man. | ||
|
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Wow. | |
| My friend Shane Smith told me about this. | ||
| This is the first time I heard about it. | ||
| And then there's multiple articles confirming this. | ||
| Vice is a very interesting phenomenon. | ||
| They're badass. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's not like this is speculation theory. | ||
| No, this is real. | ||
| I mean, people have gone there. | ||
| Vice goes in there and they look at it, yeah. | ||
| Not just vice. | ||
| Many, many, many, many, many people have documented these Mormon cults in Mexico. | ||
| And there's some serious conflict with the drug lords in Mexico. | ||
| They kidnap them. | ||
| Because kidnapping is a huge source of income in Mexico City and a lot of places as far as crime. | ||
| Kidnapping people is a big deal to the point where they tell you don't drive around in a bulletproof car. | ||
| But bulletproof cars specifically because they target those. | ||
| Because they figure you have money. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Because, oh, what's in there? | ||
| Some money? | ||
| What's in there? | ||
| Are you hiding something? | ||
| Is there a jewel of a person in there that I can sell? | ||
| And so they were doing that with the families, like these cults that were living in these giant compounds. | ||
| There's like several families that moved to Mexico. | ||
| And Mitt Romney's family was a part of that. | ||
| I'd get out of there. | ||
| Yeah, you think? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| One of the weirdest aspects of society in the year 2013 is that we are connected to one of the most dangerous areas in the world. | ||
| Juarez, Mexico is one of the most dangerous spots to be a human being and live in the world. | ||
| More dangerous, in fact, than Iraq was. | ||
| Well, I think that's where the Zetas came out of. | ||
| And I think they've been kind of brought under control. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| The issue is that the economy of Mexico and the The power structure, the entrenched power structure itself relies on the drug economy. | ||
| And the corruption is just completely out of control. | ||
| I mean, the cops... | ||
| And by the way, their neighbors, the United States, are the biggest consumers of that product. | ||
| So, you know, as long as there is a demand, they're going to supply it. | ||
| But don't legalize it. | ||
| Don't legalize it. | ||
| We've got 52,000 body bags and counting, I think, in Mexico since this shit happened. | ||
| You know, Mexico has silently decriminalized drugs. | ||
| Well, I don't blame them, and I'll tell you why, because they've been the ones bearing the brunt with real tragedy in their bodies and their children and their neighborhoods. | ||
| They're the ones who've been dealing with this. | ||
| We've been the ones consuming it. | ||
| And it's got, you know, so I, again, yet again, you know, if people want to do something, they're going to do it. | ||
| Stop trying to control people's behavior. | ||
| Yeah, they decriminalized everything in 2009 to try to slow everything down. | ||
| It's very rarely talked about. | ||
| I didn't know that, actually. | ||
| I'm interested in hearing that. | ||
| But I heard a little of it. | ||
| Well, when people talk about decriminalization, the example they always give is Portugal. | ||
| Because Portugal did essentially the same thing. | ||
| They made all drugs legal. | ||
| They decriminalized everything. | ||
| You can't sell them, but you can possess them. | ||
| If you get caught, they give you treatment. | ||
| No one goes to jail. | ||
| Well, when Portugal did that, their fucking rates of addiction dropped. | ||
| Their rates of crime dropped. | ||
| But let me ask you this. | ||
| And you know more about it than I do. | ||
| Weed, for all intents and purposes, in Colorado, for example, is legal. | ||
| But that's the state. | ||
| That's a statutory law. | ||
| It is still not a federal law. | ||
| So the Fed can come in and actually technically close those repositories down and all that, right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Not only that, even the medical, like the idea of medical marijuana, the federal government does not recognize the fact that it's even a medicine. | ||
| So, the federal government, the reason why marijuana is a Schedule I substance is not because it's the most dangerous, because it was based on proof that it would be impossible to put marijuana in Schedule I. But they can put marijuana in Schedule I because Schedule I means it has no medicinal value that's That's recognized by the state, by the federal government. | ||
| So because of the fact they put it in a Schedule 1, then it refutes all the medical marijuana clinics. | ||
| Because you can have medical cocaine, you can have medical... | ||
| There's applications for opiates, like pills. | ||
| Those are all legal. | ||
| So you can sell those. | ||
| Like Novocaine is actually a cocaine derivative. | ||
| Lidocaine, yes. | ||
|
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Lidocaine, yeah. | |
| And how about opiates? | ||
| Morphine? | ||
| Yeah, and Oxycontins, all that stuff. | ||
| Those are pills. | ||
| You can buy those. | ||
| You can ask your doctor for Vicodins and they will give them to you if you're in pain. | ||
| Those are drugs, okay? | ||
| But the federal government can't stop your doctor from prescribing those because they're scheduled to. | ||
| So cocaine and heroin are both scheduled to drugs because they have medical applications, whereas they try to pretend that marijuana doesn't. | ||
| And that way, they can stop medical marijuana from starting, because it's a plant as opposed to a medicine. | ||
| But they've proved that for glaucoma and things, it helps. | ||
| Doesn't matter. | ||
| Doesn't matter. | ||
| They've proved it till the cows come home. | ||
| It's not based on logic, reason, or something being fair and ethical. | ||
| It's based entirely on money. | ||
| Entirely on money. | ||
| And that's an argument. | ||
| So there's more money in enforcing marijuana laws, keeping people in jail, than there is in... | ||
| I'll do you want it better. | ||
| There's an economy based on enforcing marijuana laws. | ||
| If marijuana is responsible, and this is a true fact, is responsible for a large percentage of people that are in federal prison. | ||
| A large percentage. | ||
| More than 20% of all the people that are in prison are in there because of marijuana or it's growing it or selling it or whatever. | ||
| If that's the case, all those people get out. | ||
| All those people now would not get put in prison in the future. | ||
| No one would get put in prison that did those things. | ||
| And now prisons will shrink. | ||
| There will be less people in the prisons. | ||
| There will be less prison guards. | ||
| Prison guard unions do not want that. | ||
| So prison guard unions campaign and use their money and their finances to lobby heavily to make sure that marijuana laws stay in place. | ||
| Once again, an example of how Washington has become an economy of influence. | ||
| Once again, why you got to know how the system works and the injustices it creates. | ||
| When a special interest group can affect other people's lives because there's an economic advantage in it, even if it's in a Yeah, I don't think anybody has an argument with it. | ||
| The argument with you, rather. | ||
| The argument is, or the question, rather, becomes, how do you stop that from happening? | ||
| Take money out of politics. | ||
| There are ways to do it. | ||
| There are ways to do it. | ||
| It's not easy. | ||
| It's like taking that plastic out of the bin of the ocean. | ||
| It's essentially the same problem. | ||
| Lawrence Lessig has ideas. | ||
| Who the hell is that guy? | ||
| How can they kill him? | ||
| His Mercedes is going to go right into a tree at 100 miles an hour like Michael Hastings, not hitting the brakes. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Do you know about that? | ||
| No. | ||
| You don't know about that? | ||
| No. | ||
| You don't know about Michael Hastings? | ||
| No. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| You're a weird guy, man. | ||
| You know about some strange shit, but you don't know about some things. | ||
| Sometimes things are in the public consciousness that you're completely blissfully unaware of. | ||
| The Michael Hastings conspiracy is, he's a journalist for the Rolling Stone, 33 years old, cocky, fuck, getting people's faces on television about generals and stuff, about what they're doing, and you guys are doing this and that. | ||
| Exposes a bunch of shit, gets people in trouble. | ||
| He's doing an article about the CIA. His car drives into a tree. | ||
| This is after he told everybody the FBI is investigating him and his family and if anybody gets contacted by the FBI, just get a lawyer. | ||
| He's saying all this stuff publicly. | ||
| His car goes 100 miles an hour without ever hitting the brakes right into a tree. | ||
| He bursts into flames and dies. | ||
| Doesn't hit the brakes. | ||
| It's 4 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| Drives straight into a tree. | ||
| They take his body, cremate it against the wishes of his family. | ||
| Then the former security advisor, I think it was a security advisor to Clinton and Herbert Walker Bush, he comes out and says that it's possible that To take over a car, a modern car today. | ||
| Including manipulate the steering, the brakes. | ||
| Because it's a computer. | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| So he says you can turn your car into a drone. | ||
|
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Jesus! | |
| And remote control a car. | ||
| Jesus! | ||
| And suicide someone with it. | ||
| And so this guy who is spending all of his time and all of his effort, very high profile, trying to take out the people in the world that are the best at killing people, all of a sudden drives his car 100 miles an hour into a tree, doesn't all of a sudden drives his car 100 miles an hour into a tree, And even people that aren't inclined to subscribe to conspiracy theories just go, wait a minute, what the fuck? | ||
| I've had some people that were... | ||
| They're very serious folks, okay? | ||
| And they've sent me messages just saying, okay, what the fuck is this? | ||
| Like, I'm not... | ||
| About the Hastings? | ||
| So many people have written this message. | ||
| I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but... | ||
|
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Sure. | |
| Dot, dot, dot. | ||
| And then sent me that. | ||
| I mean scholars, like people that I've met that have PhDs, and they're looking at this and they're going, whoa. | ||
| He exposed some crazy shit. | ||
| It's not that far-fetched to believe that there are people in power that will kill you if you're threatening their position. | ||
| It seems to me that's what history would suggest. | ||
| But it goes along the lines of what we were talking about earlier. | ||
| Of how anonymous you can be now. | ||
| And also about what's possible. | ||
| You know anybody at the NSA? I don't know anybody. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| No, I don't know anybody at the NSA. Exactly. | ||
| I don't know any of those guys. | ||
| I don't know one person. | ||
| So, you know, yeah, I believe that there are probably people who could manipulate a car. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It can be done now. | ||
| It's a fact. | ||
| It's really pretty wild. | ||
| No, it's a fact. | ||
| It can be done now. | ||
| I want to get that Tesla, by the way. | ||
| Whether it's been done is not a fact, but it's a fact that it can be done. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Hacking a car is way too easy. | ||
| These guys who have looked at it and said that you're not talking about going faster than the speed of light. | ||
| You're talking about something that can be done. | ||
|
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Mm-hmm. | |
| And not only that, a guy came out with an iPhone application, a $25 iPhone application that can take over your car. | ||
| Come on! | ||
| Yeah, someone came up with an application for a cell phone that can take over a car. | ||
| One of the reasons why he talked about it, because he wanted to let people know, like, hey, look, I made this. | ||
| Know that this is real, okay? | ||
| I'm not trying to hurt anybody, but I want everybody to know that this is possible. | ||
| Talk about being able to steal a car really easily. | ||
| Yeah, well, a car's a computer. | ||
| And again, it sort of goes to what we were talking about, about one day there's going to be a point in time where money's not real. | ||
| There's also going to be a point in time where objects aren't real either because they're computers and you're going to be able to control it all. | ||
| This is really amazing. | ||
| I never thought of that. | ||
| I'm literally looking at that Tesla. | ||
| I want to get that electric car. | ||
| Oh, that's the craziest. | ||
| You should get a 1970 Porsche. | ||
| Get an old car. | ||
|
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I know! | |
| I'm going to be driving it because they're always updating that car. | ||
| They're always downloading information into it, that Tesla, right? | ||
| You want a car with a carburetor? | ||
| It's six miles to the gallon? | ||
| No, the old Porsche is not bad. | ||
| It's a light car. | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| You know a lot about cars. | ||
| I love Tesla. | ||
| It's a great car. | ||
| Well, no. | ||
| The issue, I mean, yes or no. | ||
| You can't have it as your primary car. | ||
| Your only car. | ||
| That's what I would get. | ||
| Because if the shit hits the fan, you're stuck. | ||
| Okay, gasoline is going to exist for a while. | ||
| Even if there's some sort of a pandemic, walking dead type scenario, you can be able to find pockets of gas. | ||
| But the issue with these cars right now is twofold. | ||
| One, there's not enough superstations. | ||
| And what a superstation is, you can go there and in 10 minutes they can charge it like 50%. | ||
| It's pretty badass. | ||
| It only takes like 10 minutes. | ||
| The other way to do it, I think it's like... | ||
| I think it's within 30 minutes or an hour. | ||
| They get it up to like 90%. | ||
| But then to get to that last, the extra 10%, it's quite a bit more. | ||
| It's a pain in the dick, man. | ||
| If you're just driving back and forth and you know you're going to park it in your house every night and commute, it goes about 300 miles. | ||
| And that's good. | ||
| That's fine. | ||
| Like for LA traffic during the day, that's fine. | ||
| It'll work. | ||
| But if you want to go somewhere, like if you want to go to Vegas... | ||
| You might not make it. | ||
| You're going to have to stop somewhere along the way and charge your car. | ||
| And it might take a half an hour. | ||
| I'm getting one because I go to Vegas twice a year. | ||
| I'm getting a Tesla. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, if you're not going to go to Yosemite, you're not going to drive up to San Francisco. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, I get it. | ||
| It's a beautiful car. | ||
| It's a beautiful car. | ||
| I interviewed Martine Rothblatt. | ||
| She is the woman who... | ||
| She actually invented DirecTV. | ||
| Or not DirecTV. | ||
| XM Radio. | ||
| Satellite Radio. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And had one of those things. | ||
| I remember that. | ||
| One of those Tesla things. | ||
| And I was like, ooh, this is badass. | ||
| Like this thing... | ||
| She's the one who, in the video for this new show that I'm doing, she has a robot made of her spouse. | ||
| It's called Bina48. | ||
| Her wife's name is Bina, and she has this Bina48 robot that's a head that talks to you. | ||
| It's connected to a computer, and you talk to it and ask it questions, and it answers and responds. | ||
| And it's like, this is like... | ||
| One step further than the last one that she had, which is one step further than the previous one. | ||
| She's slowly but surely updating these things until eventually it's a real robot. | ||
| Eventually, it's not just going to be a robot of her spouse. | ||
| It's going to be her spouse. | ||
| It's an inevitability, but she had that badass Tesla ass. | ||
| It's a wicked car, man. | ||
| It's fast, too. | ||
| It's weird fast because it all is like immediate and instant. | ||
| It's like there's no gears. | ||
| How long until the other car companies come along and have their version of the Tesla? | ||
| Because I think it's selling really well. | ||
| Pretty sure. | ||
| Why wouldn't you get it? | ||
| It would, for sure. | ||
| What Tesla figured out was how to make a car that's electric doesn't look like a piece of shit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They were the first ones. | ||
| It's a badass car. | ||
| I'm not even in cars. | ||
| You know me. | ||
| I drive the lamest cars. | ||
| I actually want one. | ||
| Well, that sports car they have, too, is wicked. | ||
| That thing is fast. | ||
| Yeah, but it's really rear-weight biased because of all the lithium-ion batteries in the trunk. | ||
| There's a lot of weight in the rear. | ||
| That sentence right there is a guy who knows cars. | ||
| It's very weight biased, the lithium battery. | ||
| I'm like, all right, yeah, all right. | ||
| Well, you know, Porsches are rear-balanced for the most part, except for the Caymans and Boxsters, which are actually the better-designed cars. | ||
| They're in a really tricky situation because the 911, since the beginning, when they first designed it, they designed it with an engine that's hung out behind the rear wheels. | ||
| Nobody else does that. | ||
| There's not another car that does that. | ||
| Everybody else does either a mid-engine format, which means that the engine is in front of the wheels, or it means it's in front of the front wheels, which allows the weight in the front. | ||
| That's a good 50-50 distribution way. | ||
| We have the front-engine car. | ||
| That's why I like the Lexus LFA, that super-fast, crazy, hyped-up Lexus. | ||
| That was a front-engine car. | ||
| The Corvette ZR1, that's a front-engine car. | ||
| But a lot of the exotics, like Ferrari, mid-engine, the Acura NSX, that was a mid-engine car for balance issues, just like the Cayman and the Boxster. | ||
| But Porsche keeps their engine now back still. | ||
| So they have to engineer all these ways to avoid what's called lift throttle oversteer because of the fact that you have this weight in the back. | ||
| As you're going around a corner, if you let off the brakes, your front end comes up and then the ass end goes forward and spins. | ||
| So you have to keep the front end down. | ||
| So you have to keep accelerating into a corner because you've got this massive pendulum behind you. | ||
| So if you know how to use it, it's wicked. | ||
| So if you know how to use it, you actually know how to accelerate out of corners better. | ||
| You know how to judge it and gauge it. | ||
| But not in that fucking Tesla. | ||
| You've got a bunch of batteries back there and little skinny-ass tires. | ||
| If you look at a Porsche like my GT3, the RS, those tires are like 15 inches wide. | ||
| They're fucking giant in the back. | ||
| That's the car you have out there. | ||
| That's a race car. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| But that's the point. | ||
| It's designed. | ||
| It knows how to deal with this rear weight. | ||
| I don't think the Tesla is that sporty. | ||
| I think there's actually been tests. | ||
| I think Chris Harris, who's one of my favorite automotive journalists, does a lot of cool videos on cars. | ||
| They took a Tesla around a track and it was like fucking sliding all over the place. | ||
| But I mean, what are you doing? | ||
| Are you going on a track or are you just driving it around town? | ||
| No, I'm just going to drive around. | ||
| And you're not even looking at that one. | ||
| You're not looking at the little sports car one. | ||
|
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|
No, I'm looking at the big one. | |
| You're looking at the big one. | ||
| Yeah, the big one's beautiful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But there's only them and then there's the karma, the Fisker karma, but I think they went out of business. | ||
| I think they did, yeah. | ||
| Do you know what happened with them? | ||
| No. | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
| They had a gang of them parked on the docks when Hurricane Sandy hit. | ||
| And the water came up really high, and it flooded the docks. | ||
| And so these cars got flooded, and they exploded. | ||
| They started exploding. | ||
| And then they realized, oh, you just got this massive electrical power source, and water gets on it, and it explodes. | ||
| Well, good thing we found out through Hurricane Sandy. | ||
| Instead of driving through standing water. | ||
|
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It's raining. | |
| It's raining. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| You could be driving through standing water and your fucking car would explode. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Those are all those cars. | ||
| They burnt to the ground. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| Yeah, they exploded and burst. | ||
| I think it was like 15 cars or something crazy like that. | ||
| Does it say in the article how many cars? | ||
| They lost a shitload of them. | ||
| They all got wet and exploded. | ||
| Speaking of explosive, watch how I changed it. | ||
| I have an explosive new show coming out. | ||
| No, not that. | ||
| 16. I will be at the Schaumburg Improv. | ||
| No, but here's my question. | ||
| Rory McDonald... | ||
| Jake Ellenberger. | ||
| It's this weekend, son. | ||
| What's your call? | ||
| Chaos. | ||
| That's my call. | ||
| Who the hell knows? | ||
| Wicked. | ||
| Those are two pit bulls, man. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| Those are two elite of the elite. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ellenberger has a lot more experience with high-level competition, though. | ||
| He's fought Nate Marquardt, all kinds of guys. | ||
| Oh, he's knocked Nate Marquardt silly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, he's a beast. | ||
| Jake Ellenberger is a fucking beast. | ||
| Knocked out Jake Shields. | ||
| Ellenberger is a motherfucker, man. | ||
| He hits hard. | ||
| He's fast as shit. | ||
| And the way he took out Nate Marquardt opened up a lot of people's eyes. | ||
| He's real dangerous. | ||
| How did he do that? | ||
| I mean, Nate's such a killer. | ||
| It's a real good question. | ||
| Especially when you look at Nate's previous fight. | ||
| Well, the previous fight was not a good one. | ||
| He fought Tarek Safedine and lost his title, got leg kicked. | ||
| Safedine just leg-kicked the shit out of him. | ||
| He just fought real smart. | ||
| He didn't plan for that or something. | ||
| Well, I don't think you could take it away from Safedine because I think he fought the worst-case scenario fight when you're fighting a really... | ||
| What Safedine is is a very technical kickboxer. | ||
| He's very technical. | ||
| He does things the right way. | ||
| Marquardt is athletic and powerful and explosive, but no disrespect to his camp, I don't think he's trained in the... | ||
| Technical level of Safonine. | ||
| Safonine was like a real professional kickboxer. | ||
| And his Muay Thai, his kickboxing is very much on point. | ||
| And if you think you could eat leg kicks from a guy like that, you're mistaken. | ||
| And there's a lot of guys that are real good, especially Mark Hart coming off of that fight with Tyron Woodley. | ||
| And Tyron Woodley's a motherfucker, right? | ||
| So he knocks out Tyron Woodley with this video game combination of punches that looks just spectacular. | ||
| He's on top of the world. | ||
| He thinks he's the crusher at 170. He's going to beat everyone's ass. | ||
| And how is Safedine going to fuck with him? | ||
| Well, Safedine just starts kicking that leg, man. | ||
| Slowly but surely in a fifth round fight. | ||
| When he fought Jose Aldo, I remember watching, and I was there. | ||
| Actually, I think I watched on, we did stand-up that night. | ||
| And I watched Frankie Edgar get kicked a couple times by that crazy Jose Aldo leg kick. | ||
| And guess what he did? | ||
| The third time, he dove into a double leg. | ||
| He literally dove into that. | ||
| Like, no hesitation. | ||
| He's like, oh, you want to start? | ||
| And then guess what? | ||
| Jose Aldo stopped leg kicking him. | ||
| I couldn't believe that. | ||
| That's when I looked at Frankie Edgar. | ||
| I was like, you're such a badass that you took that leg kick away. | ||
| Because Jose Aldo ruins careers with that fuck. | ||
| He does. | ||
| Yeah, if you stand in front of him. | ||
| And that's something... | ||
| Well, you know what? | ||
| It's the evolution of the sport. | ||
| People are realizing, like, the people used to always give me shit. | ||
| You know, that was one of the number one criticisms that I get from people, that I bring up leg kicks too much. | ||
| Like, why isn't he leg kicking? | ||
| Why isn't he leg kicking? | ||
| It's like, it's because you've never been leg kicked. | ||
| If you've been leg kicked correctly... | ||
| Like, we're starting to see it slowly but surely. | ||
| All these various techniques... | ||
| Entering into MMA. We didn't see nearly as many head kicks in the past. | ||
| The early days of MMA. It was very rare. | ||
| But now people are wheel kicking people and knocking people out. | ||
| This is stuff that I've been calling for for the longest time. | ||
| And it's not because I'm just looking for some unrealistic aspect of the sport to emerge. | ||
| No, it's because they're super effective. | ||
| So you get a guy like Aldo that shows that in the fight with Uriah Faber. | ||
| Perfect example. | ||
| Uriah Faber, if you never followed it... | ||
| For like weeks after that fight, he was fucked. | ||
| I talked to him about it. | ||
| His leg was twice the size, swollen up. | ||
| He told me, he said, I thought I was going to faint. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was so, it hurt so badly, I thought I was going to faint in the ring. | ||
| That's in the cage. | ||
| I'm sorry if I'm, if I'm, if I'm, if I'm, yeah, he's so tough. | ||
| Yeah, he's an animal. | ||
| I don't know if that's exactly what he said when we talked about it. | ||
| And that's, I think he used the word faint. | ||
| And I was like, that's, that's a, that's a warrior that A lot of people would have quit. | ||
| Uriah Faber, by the way, I make an argument. | ||
| He broke both his hands on Mike Brown's head and kept fighting and was using his elbows. | ||
| He did it by the second round. | ||
| He's the toughest son of a bitch. | ||
| He had to fight rounds three, four, and five with two broken hands. | ||
| He's such a badass. | ||
| Yeah, he's a beast. | ||
| What a beast. | ||
| And Mike Brown's a fucking beast. | ||
| Oh, Mike Brown's a monster. | ||
| So imagine being stuck in that guy. | ||
| This is after the guy knocks you senseless and takes your title in the previous fight. | ||
| Forget it. | ||
| And then you've got to fight the next fight with him with two broken hands. | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look, it's a tough man's sport, son. | ||
| So Ellenberger and Roy McTonnell. | ||
|
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And Roy McTonnell. | |
| Look, Roy McTonnell's a bad motherfucker, dude. | ||
| He's a bad motherfucker. | ||
| He's super technical. | ||
| He's super tactical and driven and he's psycho. | ||
| Yeah, he is, isn't he? | ||
| Yeah, Rory McDonald definitely has a screw loose. | ||
| He gets in his cage and he just stares. | ||
| He's real, man. | ||
| That's what he is. | ||
| He's the real deal. | ||
| He's a fucking killer. | ||
| He's coming to get you. | ||
| He's a killer. | ||
| He's a killer. | ||
| Yeah, they ain't playing no games. | ||
| And he might not get you. | ||
| You might be able to get him, but he's going to get better. | ||
| If you do get him, he's going to go back to the drawing board and come back better. | ||
| I mean, he's been got before by Carlos Condit. | ||
| Carlos Condit beat him and stopped him. | ||
| When he was younger, too. | ||
| Yeah, when he was younger. | ||
| And guess what? | ||
| He came back after that and was even scarier. | ||
| You know, and he calls out Carlos Condit. | ||
| Like, his lips are trembling and shit when he talks about Condit. | ||
| And you're like, oh, Jesus. | ||
| That's another guy I have tremendous respect for, Carlos Condit. | ||
| Condit? | ||
| He's a beast. | ||
| I think he's so good. | ||
| He's so good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That George St. Pierre fight, man. | ||
| He almost got him. | ||
| He never loses his composure, man. | ||
| Condit is very special. | ||
| He's tough as shit. | ||
| He's tough as nails and he's always in shape. | ||
| Like, five-round conditioning shape. | ||
| Stud. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Built like a tennis bro. | ||
| Yeah, he's not like the most athletic guy. | ||
| You know, he doesn't move the quickest. | ||
| He doesn't have the most power. | ||
| You know, he's just an animal. | ||
| Smart. | ||
| He's a smart fighter. | ||
| Never loses his cool. | ||
| Tough as shit. | ||
| But that Roy McDonald kid, he's no joke. | ||
| I mean, this is the first time he's fought a guy like Ellenberger, though. | ||
| I mean, you gotta think. | ||
| He beat the most impressive victories of his career, whether it's Nate Diaz. | ||
| Nate is essentially a 155-pounder. | ||
| Or BJ Penn. | ||
| BJ Penn was... | ||
| Not just a 155 pounder. | ||
| No, he's a 155. He was the 155 champion. | ||
| He had a hard time making that weight. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| He had a hard time making 155. That's why he stopped doing it. | ||
| That's why he went up to 170. These guys are nothing compared to Ellenberger. | ||
| Ellenberger is a legit 170 and he's a crusher. | ||
| He's a scary 170. He's a 170 that puts guys in la-la land with one punch. | ||
| So it's a really interesting fight. | ||
| Very interesting. | ||
| What's really crazy is Although Ellenberger has definitely fought the higher competition at 170, Rory's actually ranked higher than him by a lot of people and is the favorite coming into this fight just based on talent alone, based on people watching him take apart guys like Che Mills, take apart BJ Penn. | ||
| He's also like GSP's training partner. | ||
| Not anymore, by the way. | ||
| I was going to say, correct me if I'm wrong, he said he would fight GSP, I believe, right? | ||
| I think they stopped training together. | ||
| Yeah, because he... | ||
| Kind of alluded to the fact that he would be willing to fight you. | ||
| I shouldn't say this until I talk to both of them or either one of them because I haven't talked to them about this. | ||
| But what I've read recently is that he's been training on the other side of the gym. | ||
| They realize that eventually... | ||
| They're going to fight. | ||
| I mean, he doesn't want to, but eventually... | ||
| He said there's two guys he wouldn't fight, GSP and Weidman. | ||
| Chris Weidman is also... | ||
| They've trained together. | ||
| Oh, I didn't know that. | ||
| There's a video of Rory and Weidman training together. | ||
| But who knows if that's even true. | ||
| I think Weidman's... | ||
| Bigger, isn't he? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He's 185. Yeah. | ||
| I mean, just his frame and everything. | ||
| Not that much bigger. | ||
| You watch the two of them spar together. | ||
| It's kind of shocking. | ||
|
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Really? | |
| Rory's a big kid. | ||
| He's a big kid. | ||
| I think he, I mean, he walks around over 200 pounds before he starts his cut when he gets down to 170. He does it like, you know, when he's 170, he's fucking shredded. | ||
| I have a question. | ||
| Because I've seen this guy train. | ||
| Hector Lombard's going to suck down the 170? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yes. | |
| What are you talking about? | ||
| No, it's not a what are you talking about at all. | ||
| How is he going to do that? | ||
| He's so big. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| He's not. | ||
| He's 5'7". | ||
| He's thick. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He's muscular. | ||
| By the way, he should have been fighting at 170 his entire career. | ||
|
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|
Really? | |
| Yeah, 100%. | ||
| When you see a guy that is competing in a smaller organization and crushing people, and then you see him fight in the UFC, and you see him start losing, and he gets out-muscled by big guys like Tim Bosch, and you realize he's losing to Yushin Okami, and you go, oh, I see what's going on. | ||
| You don't belong in that weight class. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| You're too small for that weight class. | ||
| That's so shocking to me and it gives me so much more respect. | ||
| I've seen him training. | ||
| I was down at ATT. Oh, he's an animal. | ||
| He's the biggest, thickest guy. | ||
| I mean, I looked at him before I knew him and I went... | ||
| You're saying crazy talk. | ||
| He's 5'7". | ||
| That's a 170-pound man's friend. | ||
|
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| He's a thick guy. | ||
| If you're that short, I guess you have to suck down because you don't have the length. | ||
| When you talk, look at his build. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| By the way, another problem with a build like that is it makes for explosive power, no doubt about it, but all that muscle requires fuel. | ||
| You really shouldn't have that much bodybuilder muscle on your body because as a fighter, It's not helping you. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| That stuff's weighing you down. | ||
| It's causing you to have this massive engine that you have to fuel. | ||
| Especially a three-round or five-round fight. | ||
| Five-rounders, especially. | ||
| For five-rounders, it's the big ones. | ||
| Yeah, if you look at the best fighters, like the high-level five-round guys, they're in good shape. | ||
| They're in great shape, but they never have that level of musculature. | ||
| I mean, he's a thick fucking guy. | ||
| He's going to fight Nate Markor. | ||
| That's going to be... | ||
| It's a crazy fight! | ||
| I can't wait to see that. | ||
| Well, it's going to be interesting to see how he deals with the cut. | ||
| There's probably a reason why he fought at 185. And some of the reasons, some people just, they don't perform well when they're dieting. | ||
| They don't perform well. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| It's also, it kills your confidence and training. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| You start losing weight. | ||
| You start feeling weaker. | ||
| You start feeling like shit. | ||
| You want to eat. | ||
| You want to say, fuck it, I'm going back up at 185. And it depends on how much weight is he going to actually cut. | ||
| And has he done it before? | ||
| Has he ever cut a shitload of weight right before a fight before? | ||
| Because a lot of these guys, the week of the fight, they're cutting like 20 pounds. | ||
| They're dehydrating the shit out of themselves. | ||
| They feel terrible. | ||
| Some of them black out in the back room. | ||
| We've seen guys that had to get the fight canceled because they cut too much weight and then they fucking fall down and bang their head when they're out back there talking to the doctor. | ||
| Not just happened. | ||
| The idea of someone being really sick before a fight has happened many times. | ||
| 24 hours before you're supposed to go into a cage and throw kicks at each other and you can't even walk. | ||
| You know? | ||
| People's lungs collapse, all kinds of weird shit. | ||
| Oh, crazy shit. | ||
| Yeah, that happened to Rory Markham. | ||
| Rory Markham when he fought Dan Hardy. | ||
| Tried to get down to 170, and his lung collapsed. | ||
| He was a big boy, too. | ||
| One of those big, country-fed, five-foot-eleven-and-a-half fucking gorillas. | ||
| I remember Pat Miletic introduced me to him once, a long time ago. | ||
| At the Hard Rock, he said, this is my best new up-and-coming 170. I was like, 170? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How is that guy 170? | ||
| Like, that's a football player. | ||
| Ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, how about Anthony Rumble Johnson sucking down? | ||
| I did a movie with him. | ||
| He's fighting heavyweight now. | ||
| He was walking around at 230 on the set of Warrior. | ||
| I was like, you're going to suck down to what? | ||
| What did you say? | ||
| Well, he fought Arlovsky. | ||
| He beat Arlovsky as a heavyweight. | ||
| Yes, he did. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| He almost knocked him out in the first round. | ||
|
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|
Wow. | |
| Wow. | ||
| Had Arlovsky staggered, broke his jaw, had him all fucked up in the first round. | ||
| And Arlovsky managed to hang on and lose a decision. | ||
| That's the one thing about when I watched Arlovsky and how athletic he was, he ultimately didn't seem to have the, he didn't really become the UFC fighter he was supposed, people thought he was going to be. | ||
| Well, he was the champion. | ||
| I mean, at one point in time, he was the scariest guy on the planet. | ||
| Arlovsky, you know, he was knocking people out with one punch, but then he lost to Tim Sylvia, and then he came back, and, you know, they fought again, and Sylvia beat him again. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| It's one of those things where you can only stay at the top for so long, and then it's the top in relationship to where the sport is at the moment. | ||
| So in that moment, when Orlovsky was the UFC heavyweight champion, that's where the sport was. | ||
| What the sport was, was it was at this spot where this guy who was this big, super-fast, athletic kickboxer with lightning-quick reflexes was knocking guys like Paul Buentello silly. | ||
| You know, he was knocking guys silly as a heavyweight. | ||
| He was a super athlete. | ||
| He was really, like, moved really well. | ||
| But... | ||
| He started getting tagged. | ||
| He lost a few by KO. And then he loses his confidence and he starts getting KO'd on a regular basis. | ||
| He gets KO'd by Fedor. | ||
| He gets KO'd by a couple other guys, including guys that he's supposed to beat. | ||
| And, you know, it becomes a real problem. | ||
| Your confidence and everything else. | ||
| Yeah, Brett Rogers KOs him and the first 30 seconds of their fight just storms after him and KOs him. | ||
| He had a real series of problems. | ||
| He was fighting Fedor and was going punch for punch with Fedor for most of the first round and then tries this crazy flying knee and gets knocked completely unconscious. | ||
| Yeah, that felt like a lack of confidence. | ||
| He tried to rush the fight, jumping into that. | ||
|
unidentified
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I don't know. | |
| I don't think it's a lack of confidence. | ||
| I think he just did something stupid. | ||
| He just got crazy and he didn't respect the guy's power or he just took a wild chance. | ||
| Sometimes people take wild chances. | ||
| Is Jon Jones gonna go to heavyweight? | ||
| He doesn't have to. | ||
| He can fight at 205. He makes 205. I mean, I think he's a big kid. | ||
| I think one day he's probably going to be the heavyweight, you know? | ||
| I shouldn't say heavyweight champion. | ||
| I should say a heavyweight. | ||
| He's going to have to be a heavyweight. | ||
| But... | ||
| It'll also be interesting when you see him fight as a heavyweight because, you know, how will he do against a really big guy that's naturally larger than him that could never fight at 205? | ||
| And there are those guys. | ||
| Like, you know... | ||
| Like, Shane Carwin's a perfect example. | ||
| Shane Carwin ain't fighting 205, okay? | ||
| He's got fucking cinder blocks that he calls hands. | ||
| All his bones are giant and thick. | ||
| He's like an ogre dude, you know? | ||
| That's how he's built. | ||
| He's a giant motherfucker, you know? | ||
| Even when he's lean, he's like 250, something like that. | ||
| He's a big fucking boned guy. | ||
| He was 285. When I was hanging out with him on the... | ||
| Ultimate fighter. | ||
| He's 285. Yeah. | ||
| But when you're seeing him, you're seeing him after years of football. | ||
| Like, there's a picture of him. | ||
| You're seeing him after years of football. | ||
| He had, like, serious back injuries, man. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, yeah. | |
| He had a couple surgeries. | ||
| I just talked to him. | ||
| He had to retire. | ||
| On a podcast. | ||
| Well, he has stenosis. | ||
| And stenosis is the canal where, like, the nerves are. | ||
| Starts getting impinged. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| And the discs start degrading. | ||
| And you start, like, getting numbness. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a serious, serious issue for combat athletes. | ||
| If you take in a lot of shots and your discs start degenerating and you start getting numbness and losing, that's Bas Rutan's issue as well. | ||
| That's why he's had two neck surgeries and it's why he has one arm that's atrophied. | ||
| It's all the nerves. | ||
| His nerves are getting impacted. | ||
| They're getting smushed. | ||
| They're getting cut off. | ||
| There's nothing they can do all the time. | ||
| Oh, it's a fucking huge problem. | ||
| You have surgeries and shit. | ||
| I mean, people have surgeries where they try to do it au natural. | ||
| They try to do it with yoga and stretching and try to... | ||
| But they can't fight during that time. | ||
| You have to retire. | ||
| You have to retire and you have to stop fighting. | ||
| And, you know, I think me and Carlin's got a family. | ||
| And I talked to him after his last surgery, which about... | ||
| I don't know if he's had one since, but the last surgery I talked to him about was about a year and a half ago. | ||
| No, it was a little over a year ago because it was at the UFC Expo, which just happened a couple weeks ago. | ||
| And he had just gotten out of the surgery, and he's like, I don't know when I'm going to be able to fight again. | ||
| I'm in training. | ||
| I'm trying to get it together. | ||
| He's like, but it's hard. | ||
| Well, I just talked to him recently. | ||
| And he, actually a week ago, he's just adjusting to retirement. | ||
| It's really hard for a guy like that, who is king of the beasts, to have to retire. | ||
| He's got a lot to go back to. | ||
| He's got a family, he's an electrical engineer, he's got a career. | ||
| But when I talked to him, he was on an oil field and he was looking around and he was doing some work. | ||
| It's a big transition, a big emotional transition for Shane. | ||
| Yeah, well, it has to, man. | ||
| It has to be. | ||
| It's really difficult to do, to transition from anything where you're a professional athlete with a finite career, whether it's basketball or baseball or football. | ||
| They all go through it. | ||
| They all go through it. | ||
| But for combat athletes, it's even harder because a lot of times when you're going through it, your body is just done when it's over. | ||
| You're done. | ||
| I mean, you have some serious fucking problems. | ||
| All these guys are getting their knees fixed and their back fixed. | ||
| You can't train. | ||
| I mean, you train that hard all the time. | ||
| I'm sorry, but your body is made of cartilage and bone and it grinds away, man. | ||
| And there's so many fighters that have, like, artificial discs or discs that are fused. | ||
| Yeah, we went to Metamorris. | ||
| There was that guy who won his match. | ||
| Braulio Estima. | ||
| And he's got a... | ||
| He's got an artificial disc in his neck. | ||
| Yeah, it's like a titanium disc. | ||
| Have they ever done that? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I've never heard of that. | ||
| They do it in Europe. | ||
| They don't do it in America. | ||
| But they do it in Europe. | ||
| At least I don't think they do it in Europe. | ||
| And how does he find that... | ||
| I guess he looked tough to me, man. | ||
| He's still a bad motherfucker. | ||
| Even with his disc. | ||
| I mean, he trains really hard, and I know he wins world championships, and he beats top, top, top-level guys. | ||
| I like that community, that jiu-jitsu community. | ||
| I had a really good feeling being at Metamoros. | ||
| That community is... | ||
| Maybe it's a Brazilian thing. | ||
| I just like them. | ||
| They just seem like a tight group. | ||
| Well, we've talked about this in the podcast before. | ||
| The people that do jiu-jitsu and get really good at jiu-jitsu, they have healthy egos because you have to tap out on a regular basis. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You have to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Unless you're Hicks and Gracie and no one's tapped you since 1980, you're getting tapped out on a regular basis. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's just a part of the game. | ||
| You're going in there, you're rolling with, you know, Bill Cooper and Salo Hibero and you're rolling with a bunch of savages. | ||
| They're strangling you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's part of jiu-jitsu, you know? | ||
| You get tapped. | ||
| I mean, I've been tapped by blue belts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Put yourself in a bad position, somebody catches something, if you're dumb, you don't tap, and then you get your arm broken. | ||
| Because guess what? | ||
| A 200-pound man who's a blue belt who catches an arm bar correctly, and if you're tired and it gets full extension, you have to fucking tap. | ||
| It's what it is. | ||
| It is what it is. | ||
| And when you're doing that on a high level for a long time, you get a healthy ego because you're always getting your ass kicked. | ||
| You get your ass handed to you in training. | ||
| Especially when you do like those drills where you do like a tenth planet. | ||
| We'll do like nine minutes of live sparring and then you have 30 seconds rest or a minute rest rather where everybody grabs a drink and then you go to the next person for nine minutes. | ||
| In two persons... | ||
| You're doing 18 minutes of hand-to-hand fucking combat. | ||
| That's a lot of fighting. | ||
| You're going to get tapped. | ||
| You're just going to get tapped. | ||
| Unless you're the best guy, unless you're Eddie Bravo or one of the best. | ||
| And even Eddie gets tapped occasionally if he goes with his black belts or his brown belts maybe even. | ||
| When you're doing it on a regular basis and you're tired, you're going to get fucking tapped. | ||
| And if you don't do it on a regular basis and tired, then you're not going to know the proper defense. | ||
| You're not going to know how to handle yourself and defend yourself when you're in a shitty situation. | ||
| Watching Aiko get tapped by... | ||
| Aoki. | ||
| Aoki, I mean... | ||
| By Kron Gracie? | ||
| Yeah, and you could see the disappointment on his face because he's so good and everything else, but it was just, you know, it's like it happens to everybody. | ||
| You make one mistake, one mistake, see ya. | ||
| Yeah, a guy like Kron, he gets a hold of your neck, that's a wrap. | ||
| He's not going to let it go. | ||
| He's trained by the master. | ||
| Yeah, trained by the master. | ||
| And he's legit. | ||
| He trains with all the best guys on a regular basis. | ||
| He's constantly got killers going to his gym. | ||
| I mean, he's competing on a high level on a regular basis. | ||
| Yeah, I think it was Henner who said, when he rolls with Kron, he said he's fighting for his life a lot of times. | ||
| Nobody puts him through the ringer like that guy. | ||
| Henner's big. | ||
| When your dad is Hickson fucking Gracie, just think about the amount of knowledge that he must have relayed to his son. | ||
| If you don't know jujitsu, Hickson Gracie is like, there's not a whole lot of sports where there's one guy who's universally recognized as the motherfucker. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's like the motherfucker of motherfuckers when it comes to jiu-jitsu is Hicks and Gracie. | ||
| Because if you talk to anybody, if you talk to Hoist Gracie, if you talk to any of these guys, and this is going on, by the way, by the way, by the way, in 1993, when the UFC was at first, he said, when Hoist was beating everybody in UFC 1, he was like, you should see my brother Hickson. | ||
| My brother Hickson kills me. | ||
| And he used to talk about that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The moment somebody beats me, you're in trouble because then my brother Hickson is going to join. | ||
| I remember it. | ||
| Dude, Hickson, if you watch the early days of the UFC, he was fighting in Japan, Valley Tudo. | ||
| You want to see a documentary that will get you into jiu-jitsu? | ||
| Choke. | ||
| Choke. | ||
| It's a wicked documentary. | ||
| You and I watched it together. | ||
| We were so quiet. | ||
| I think we went out to dinner afterwards. | ||
| We were so awed and quiet. | ||
| I remember he was talking about how fear and intelligence are closely related. | ||
| And you went like this. | ||
| You couldn't help yourself. | ||
| Listen to what he's saying, man. | ||
| And I was like, I am. | ||
| I haven't said a thing, dude. | ||
| You didn't have to shout at me. | ||
| We were both so bunched up about it. | ||
| And by the way, stud. | ||
| How handsome is he? | ||
| How about his yoga? | ||
| Oh, forget it. | ||
| Incredible flexibility. | ||
| In a Speedo, by the way, in Malibu. | ||
| You said, by the way, five more times. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I don't care. | |
| You don't care. | ||
| Because Hickson brings out the by the way in me. | ||
| I got to pee right now. | ||
| Go ahead and pee. | ||
| It's amazing when there's one guy like that, though, that stands out. | ||
| And I think one of the things... | ||
| Go ahead and pee. | ||
| I'll keep talking as if you were here. | ||
| We'll talk about everything. | ||
| Go pee. | ||
| One of the things about a guy like Hickson that's so fascinating is that... | ||
| What separates him from everybody else is not just his physicality. | ||
| He's obviously very physical. | ||
| He's got great flexibility. | ||
| He's obviously very strong. | ||
| If you looked at the old videos of Hoist Gracie when Hoist won the UFC, one of the things about Hoist that was so impressive was that he wasn't a physically imposing guy. | ||
| Hoist was like 175 pounds. | ||
| He was very thin, and he didn't have big muscles. | ||
| Hickson, on the other hand, is built like a Greek god. | ||
| So he's not muscular like, say, like a George St. Pierre. | ||
| It was more like a gymnast or something like that. | ||
| That doesn't make any sense, because George is kind of built like a gymnast. | ||
| But he was a little bit less muscular. | ||
| But he's a strong looking dude, like very obvious. | ||
| But his thing was also the mind and also yoga. | ||
| It wasn't just his technique and his physicality. | ||
| It was also the fact that he was like a recognized yogi. | ||
| So when everybody else was like doing steroids and running hills and shit with weights on their back and... | ||
| And doing all these different kinds of bodybuilding sort of things. | ||
| Hickson's doing this weird thing with his stomach. | ||
| Where he's sucking in his diaphragm. | ||
| Doing this yoga breathing technique that's really freaky to watch. | ||
| Where he can pull his stomach in and control his breath in this really astounding way. | ||
| He's also insanely flexible. | ||
| You know, like in every single way, in every single position. | ||
| And his yoga is like one of the more unique aspects of him as a martial artist because he can move in such strange ways because of the yoga. | ||
| Like, it's very rare that you get a guy who's really strong and really flexible. | ||
| And that's what he was. | ||
| On top of that, his fucking dad was Elio Gracie, who was... | ||
| Maybe the most important man in the history of martial arts. | ||
| You're talking about a guy who was doing these jiu-jitsu matches in the 1940s. | ||
| He was learning these techniques that were taught to him by Maeda, by these Japanese judo guys. | ||
| Fought this guy Kimura, which is where that famous shoulder lock is named, the Kimura shoulder lock. | ||
| He fought Elio Gracie, and Elio let the guy break his arm instead of tapping. | ||
| That's how badass he is. | ||
| Imagine growing up and that's your dad. | ||
| Your dad decides to let some guy snap his arm in a chicken wing because he doesn't want to tap. | ||
| So he learned how to do small man jujitsu. | ||
| He changed jujitsu because he was a little guy. | ||
| He was only like 140 pounds. | ||
| So because of that, he was scrapping with all these big dudes. | ||
| He had to what he called cook them. | ||
| He had to let them cook. | ||
| He couldn't just eat them raw. | ||
| He had to slowly tire these bitches out. | ||
| He called them cooking them? | ||
| He had to slowly tire them out. | ||
| So he developed a very extensive repertoire of techniques to use from the guard, and he also developed the concept of protecting yourself in a real self-defense situation. | ||
| Ilio Gracie, long before the UFC, was putting himself in these Valley Tudo matches, where he would go out there and just duke it out with dudes, and they'd put on these events in Brazil, and he would have these fights with guys. | ||
| And then his cousin, Carlos, well, there was a bunch of different, there was his brother, Carlson Gracie was his cousin, and Carlson Gracie became like the most winningest guy. | ||
| He was a bigger, stronger guy. | ||
| And he came in and beat some of the guys that Elio couldn't beat. | ||
| But Ilio developed, like, not just a system of jiu-jitsu, but a series of killers that were sons. | ||
| I mean, his sons are Halston Gracie, Horian Gracie, Hoist Gracie, Hicks and Gracie, Hoyler Gracie. | ||
| I mean, there's never been a motherfucker ever who developed that many killers as sons. | ||
| And then those guys go off and branch out, out into the world and spread jiu-jitsu. | ||
| The most astounding family in the history of martial arts. | ||
| Bar none. | ||
| No question. | ||
| Bar none is the Gracie family. | ||
| No question. | ||
| They changed. | ||
| They changed it all. | ||
| They changed. | ||
| They brought the truth to it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| All of a sudden, all your kung fu and everything is no good in here, my friend. | ||
| And it boils down, in my opinion, all to the Grandmaster. | ||
| Because it was Carlos for sure. | ||
| Carlos Gracie was also very important in the development of it. | ||
| But... | ||
| But Elio was out there duking it out with guys. | ||
| And he was small. | ||
| He was a small guy. | ||
| And because of that, and because of the impact of his sons, I think he's like the most important figure in the history of martial arts. | ||
| I would argue that that's... | ||
| I don't think there's any denying. | ||
| Once the UFC came along, and his son, who wasn't even the best one... | ||
| Was killing everybody? | ||
| He sent in his son that wasn't even the best one. | ||
| Isn't that incredible? | ||
| Isn't that incredible? | ||
| I remember him being this wrestling wizard. | ||
| And I was watching him. | ||
| And I was watching him going, that doesn't look like, I don't know, it looks like kind of bad wrestling. | ||
| I don't really get it. | ||
| Well, you let guys take him down. | ||
| Fight off his back. | ||
| Maybe fought Dan Severin. | ||
| Dan Severin, 250 fucking pound giant wrestler. | ||
| All of them. | ||
| Awesome takedown. | ||
| And then he gets caught in a triangle by this little skinny guy. | ||
| Choking Ken Tramrock and this weird thing. | ||
| Yeah, weird. | ||
| He got him with a gi choke. | ||
| Choked him with his gi. | ||
| Yeah, look, Hoist Gracie, that was an important moment for martial arts. | ||
| And it was the first time, also, that we realized that, like, in the movies, it was always a little dude with skill that was beating the fuck out of all these guys. | ||
| It was always Bruce Lee that was small but fast as fuck and using his martial arts to defeat much larger Samo Hung-looking dudes. | ||
| You know, or who was the guy with the big muscles? | ||
| Polo. | ||
| Bolo. | ||
| Yeah, Bolo Young, right? | ||
| So, you know, and Chuck Norris. | ||
| Remember when Chuck Norris and him duked it out? | ||
| Chuck Norris was bigger and stronger and Bruce Lee fucked him up. | ||
| But in the real world, that didn't really happen that often. | ||
| In the real world, those big guys sort of got a hold of you and beat your fucking head into a pulp. | ||
| That's more of what most of us saw on a regular basis. | ||
| So then when you have the craziest event in the history of martial arts, this cage fighting event where you're going to lock all these different styles in and find out who's the best... | ||
| The odds that this one really technical small guy was going to win, they were astronomical as far as the martial arts community was concerned. | ||
| They thought that the biggest karate guy was going to win. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| The biggest guy who can kick and punch hard. | ||
| And a lot of guys who were karate guys thought they were going to win because they'd never been tested. | ||
| A lot of guys like Judo guys in there, karate, kung fu guys would get in there, Krav Maga guys, and they actually believed because they had been training so long that they were going to win until all of a sudden... | ||
| They'd get caught in these weird jokes, arm bars, punched in the face. | ||
| It was just a whole different thing. | ||
| Well, this is how little they knew about it. | ||
| When guys got into certain positions, it got to a point where guys got into certain positions, they thought there was no escape in those positions, so they would just tap out. | ||
| When Remco Pardot, who was like a really tough guy, fought Marco Huas, all Marco Huas did was mount him. | ||
| Marco mounted him and he's like, well, basically the fight's over. | ||
| So he taps. | ||
| He taps and Marco mounts him. | ||
| That's like a regular basis. | ||
| That happens all the time in high-level fights. | ||
| Think about Anderson Silva's first round with Chael Sonnen. | ||
| Chael mounted him for most of the first round in the second fight. | ||
| And then in the second round, he came back and stopped him and knocked him out. | ||
| The idea that a guy mounts you and a fight's over. | ||
| That's how much MMA and that's how much jiu-jitsu has come along since the early 1990s. | ||
| We know that Anderson's going to fight Chris Weidman again. | ||
| Yes, it's going to be December 28th. | ||
| You coming? | ||
| I'm definitely coming. | ||
| I'm doing the Mirage the night before. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm coming. | |
| Count me in. | ||
| But the thing is that you did see how dominant Anderson was when he got into Chris's head. | ||
| And then to fool around to that extent was just so insane. | ||
| Well, I wouldn't say he was dominant. | ||
| He was definitely hitting Weidman. | ||
| And he was hitting with a lot of leg kicks. | ||
| That was the big issue. | ||
| And that was one thing that John Donahue was concerned about. | ||
| I talked to Donahue after the fight. | ||
| This is how much of a mastermind John Donahue is. | ||
| He's the jiu-jitsu coach. | ||
| I love John, by the way. | ||
| He's a brilliant, brilliant guy. | ||
| But right after Weidman just knocks out Anderson, I go over to him, I go, congratulations. | ||
| And he goes, I was very concerned about the amount of leg kicks he was taking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He just knocked out Anderson. | |
| Inside the octagon, he was thinking, even the most spectacular result possible, knocked out Anderson Silva. | ||
| And he's like, I'm not I'm happy with the amount of leg kicks he was taking. | ||
| He wasn't defending the leg kicks correctly. | ||
| Like, this guy's, like, on it. | ||
| As well he should be. | ||
| You have to be. | ||
| In that game, there can't be any, you're the best kid! | ||
| No one's ever gonna beat you! | ||
| He recognizes, like, this played out great, but we got an issue. | ||
| Because Anderson Silva seems to be able to see everything you're doing. | ||
| It's going to be real interesting to see what happens in the second fight. | ||
| It's going to be interesting to see if Anderson showboats at all again. | ||
| It's going to be interesting to see how Weidman approaches it, how confident he is now. | ||
| Weidman's getting better all the time. | ||
| The fact that he knocked out Anderson Silva in his tenth fucking professional fight is insane. | ||
| It's also, though, a testament to Anderson Silva fucking around. | ||
| Not really, because Weidman had him down on the ground and had him in a heel hook long before that. | ||
| What's going to happen in the second fight? | ||
| What if Weidman is six inches further down the knee when he wraps up that heel hook? | ||
| And what if he uses the legs properly next time and laces them differently and locks up his hips so that he can't roll out of it and then rips his knee apart, Husamar Pajarez style? | ||
| I would tell you this. | ||
| I would tell you this. | ||
| Anderson's met... | ||
| And dealt with wrestlers that are probably as good or better than Weidman. | ||
| No, you're wrong. | ||
| Chael Sonnen? | ||
| You're wrong. | ||
| Weidman's better. | ||
| Weidman's a freestyle wrestler. | ||
| Weidman's better. | ||
| Four-time All-American. | ||
| Not only that, not only is he better, he's bigger and faster and scarier because he's got vicious knockout power, which is what Chael Sonnen never had. | ||
| Because he knocked out Uriah Hall, that kid who was the standout in the Ultimate Fighter that won by wheel kick, the last Ultimate Fighter. | ||
| He knocked that guy out with a left hook. | ||
| The same left hook that he knocked He knocked out Anderson with. | ||
| He knocks people out. | ||
| He knocked out Munoz with an elbow. | ||
| He smashes people. | ||
| He also puts people to sleep. | ||
| You can't take anything away from that kid. | ||
| He won that fight because Anderson Silva fucked up, and he didn't respect him. | ||
| He dropped his hands, and he got clipped. | ||
| But Weidman still won that fight. | ||
| There's a lot of fucking people that have been in that same situation, wouldn't have been able to do shit. | ||
| He was able to do shit because he's... | ||
| Like Rick Forrest Griffin and... | ||
| He's a motherfucker, dude. | ||
| He's the real deal. | ||
| The question is, though, is Anderson more of a motherfucker and more of the real deal? | ||
| And what Anderson are we going to see in that second fight? | ||
| Because in that second fight, he's going to be so goddamn motivated. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's nobody like Anderson Silva. | ||
| No. | ||
| He's just so far and away better than it seems. | ||
| I don't know how he does it. | ||
| It's the craziest thing to me. | ||
| He's just a very good athlete. | ||
| He's incredible at what he does. | ||
| He's been doing it forever. | ||
| He's a master at Muay Thai, a master at Jiu-Jitsu. | ||
| He's a master at MMA. He's a master. | ||
| But he's still lost. | ||
| There's a beautiful lesson in there for fighters. | ||
| There's a beautiful lesson about human beings. | ||
| Even the greatest ever... | ||
| If you clip him on the chin, they go unconscious. | ||
| He's going out. | ||
| That's just how it is. | ||
| Clip him on the chin, he's going out. | ||
| We ran out of time, man. | ||
| Fucking show's over. | ||
| Thanks for having me, buddy. | ||
| You're the best. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| Love you. | ||
| We're going November. | ||
| You and me. | ||
| Schomburg Improv this weekend. | ||
| Please come. | ||
| And then November, we're on Meat Eater again. | ||
| I can't wait, dude. | ||
| We're hunters now. | ||
| When are we doing? | ||
| We're doing Toronto the 19th. | ||
| The 19th. | ||
| September 19th. | ||
| I'm excited. | ||
| Kellen and I are doing, I don't know what the fuck it's called, the Sony something or something in Toronto. | ||
| What is it called? | ||
| Did I tell you already? | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| You'll find it. | ||
| It's almost sold out though, I should tell you that. | ||
| It's... | ||
| I think last time I checked it was like three quarters. | ||
| It's only been on sale for like a week. | ||
| But it's already like three quarters sold out. | ||
| Or at least half sold out or something. | ||
| It's the Sony Center for the Performing Arts. | ||
| I fucking love Toronto. | ||
| It's one of my favorite places to go. | ||
| Oh, they updated it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| There's still some tickets left. | ||
| The Sony Center is a new place. | ||
| I usually do Massey Hall, but that's the same week as Just for Laughs, the festival they have up there. | ||
| Canada is just, everybody loves to come to Canada. | ||
| I love Canada. | ||
| I love performing in Canada. | ||
| It's so much fun. | ||
| I'm doing it in Calgary in November. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| BrianCallen.com. | ||
| C-A-L-L-E-N.com. | ||
| And follow him on Twitter, because every time I look at his Twitter numbers, I get sad. | ||
| That's Brian Callen. | ||
| Brian Callen Show. | ||
| Are you on the Twitter all the time? | ||
| Are you tweeting all the time? | ||
| Yeah, I'm just not... | ||
| Staying on top of that shit? | ||
| Yeah, my podcast I've been doing thanks to you. | ||
| I think I've got 75 episodes now. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Getting great guests, so... | ||
| Yeah, it's a fun podcast. | ||
| It's a fun podcast. | ||
| You do get a lot of interesting motherfuckers on it, too. | ||
| Thanks to Joe Rogan! | ||
| Well, it's, you know, it's not... | ||
| Look, it's thanks to all these people that we're sort of connected to online. | ||
| We're all sort of connected to all these interesting people that are willing to now do the show, and then you get more, and then you help them, and like... | ||
| My job is just to inspire. | ||
| I just want to take young people and show them that there's a world out there of people who can teach you stuff. | ||
| I'm getting a sleep expert on. | ||
| I just love doing it. | ||
| I think I'm getting Jared Diamond on who won a Pulitzer Prize for Guns, Germs, and Steel. | ||
| What I'm realizing is all these guys who write these great books are sitting around in a room writing and they like to talk to people. | ||
| And they don't get a chance to as much. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right! | |
| Why wouldn't they want to teach people like me? | ||
| I learn every time I do something. | ||
| Go check it out, you fucks. | ||
| My new show airs tomorrow night, which is the 24th of July on the SyFy channel. | ||
| And it's called Joe Rogan Questions Everything. | ||
| And Duncan Trussell is in the first episode with me. | ||
| He goes looking for Bigfoot with me. | ||
| And Ari Shafir did some episodes as well. | ||
| So I'm bringing in a lot of my friends. | ||
| We're going to have some fun. | ||
| Brian Cowan will, I'm sure, eventually do one. | ||
| I want to come. | ||
| You will. | ||
| I love you, buddy. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Thank you, everybody. | ||
| We will see you tomorrow with Duncan Trussell. | ||
| He'll be on tomorrow. | ||
| And thanks to... | ||
| Oh, tomorrow night we're at the Ice House, if you get this. | ||
| We're having a little party at the Ice House doing a little stand-up comedy show. | ||
| It's so far Tom Segura, Duncan Trussell, Brian Redband, me, and I'm sure some other people will be there too. | ||
| We always have a big show at the Ice House in Pasadena because we love them. | ||
| Squarespace.com. | ||
| Go use the code word Joe and the number 7. That's one word, Joe, and the number 7. And you will save yourself 10%, you dirty freaks. | ||
| Squarespace is all you need to build a badass motherfucking website easily. | ||
| You can do it. | ||
| I can do it. | ||
| Everybody can do it. | ||
| Thanks also to Onnit.com. | ||
| Go to O-N-N-I-T. Use the code name Rogan and stick it right up your pooper. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Huh? | ||
| Huh? | ||
| How about that? | ||
| And then you save some money. | ||
| No, you put it up your butt and you save 10%. | ||
| Alright, we'll see you guys tomorrow. | ||
| Thank you for all the love. | ||
| Thank you for all the links on Twitter. | ||
| All the shit that you guys send me. | ||
| It is the coolest connection. | ||
| I just love the fact that it's this massive resource of information and cool videos and clips and websites. | ||
| I can't say it enough. | ||
| I say it all the time, but I can't say it enough. | ||
| I love you guys. | ||
| I appreciate the fuck out of you. | ||
| Thank you very much. |
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