Speaker | Time | Text |
---|---|---|
What? | ||
Again? | ||
Another podcast, ladies and gentlemen? | ||
What more could they possibly have to say? | ||
Have they not run out of shit to say? | ||
Right. | ||
We kind of have, a little bit. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I feel like I have to go out a lot and do stupid shit just to have stories, but then I can't tell the stories because then it will get me in trouble. | ||
Yeah, I feel like, well, I'm the exact opposite. | ||
I feel like I need to stay home and read shit. | ||
You're out there trying to fuck up your life with the Super Aids. | ||
This episode of the Joe Rogan Experience podcast is brought to you by Onnit.com. | ||
Right now, we're waiting for Rick Ross, the not-rapper Rick Ross, the real Rick Ross. | ||
And I think he's caught up in some court thing. | ||
Is it because of the Rick Ross thing that he's in court? | ||
Because of the rapper thing? | ||
Some other shit? | ||
And he's on his way over here, so when he gets over here, we're going to have him on. | ||
But for now, it's just me and Brian. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
Keeping it sexy. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
Go to Onnit.com, use the code Dean Brogan, save 10% off any and all supplements. | ||
I've done this commercial so long, so many times, there's no way to do it any differently. | ||
But if you've never heard it before, Onnit is... | ||
I want to call it a performance company. | ||
Didn't somebody say that's a good way to describe it? | ||
It's essentially a company based on selling you all the best health, wellness, and fitness supplements available. | ||
The best shit we can find. | ||
And sell it to you at a very reasonable rate. | ||
And sell it to you in a way where we're not trying to rip anybody off. | ||
We want to make sure that people who try these products know that the only reason why we're selling them is because we use them ourselves. | ||
This is the best shit that's available. | ||
We have a 100% money back guarantee on your first order of 30 pills. | ||
For the first 90 days, you don't even have to return the product. | ||
Just say you don't like it. | ||
Say it sucks. | ||
And you get your money back. | ||
No one is trying to rip you off. | ||
The stuff that we're selling you is the best as far as performance and physical performance. | ||
It's Cordyceps Mushroom Supplement. | ||
It's called Shroom Tech Sport and it's amazing. | ||
One of the best supplements I've ever used for energy and for workouts, for intense workouts. | ||
Alpha Brain is the best combination of cognitive enhancing supplements we could find. | ||
And that's what we did. | ||
We just took the best shit available and what's the most recent science on this stuff. | ||
And we try to sell you the best supplements that we can get. | ||
We sell kettlebells now and battle ropes. | ||
All things that I think are the best pieces of equipment as far as for strength and conditioning. | ||
They're some of the best exercise equipment you can have. | ||
Kettlebells are amazing. | ||
If you've never done it before, there's a hundred videos online. | ||
You can, you know, on YouTube. | ||
There's also, we have Keith Weber's Extreme Kettlebell Cardio workout DVD for sale. | ||
And we're actually going to make our own. | ||
I want to take people through one of my fucking savage kettlebell routines. | ||
You get to see what kind of crazy shit I do. | ||
Fuck that noise. | ||
You can do it. | ||
You don't have to do it, but you can do it. | ||
But we sell all shapes, different sizes. | ||
unidentified
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I think we have over 100 pounds, but the ones I use are between 35 and 70. Is the people that order over the 100 pound ones, do you track these people? | |
Are you getting in touch with these people? | ||
You are now lead lieutenant of the Joe Rogan Army? | ||
Got to keep those people in close proximity. | ||
They're the ones who can do extreme physical things. | ||
You're like a Google of warriors. | ||
That's what you're doing here at Onnit, aren't you? | ||
We're trying to put together the strongest human beings possible. | ||
We're trying to help people become as strong as possible. | ||
Look, having a strong body is fucking awesome. | ||
If you don't think it is... | ||
It's because you've never had a strong body. | ||
Like, when someone can give you a jar of mayonnaise and always know that you're going to be the guy that opens that bitch, when you have to pick something up and you can because your body can do it, you don't have to call somebody and, oh man, I need some help, oh fuck. | ||
No, you can just hoist it up yourself because your body works really good. | ||
I don't know why anybody wouldn't want that. | ||
To me, that is a really weird sort of a distinction that people have made where they try to separate intelligence from physical performance. | ||
And that somehow or another, well, I spend my time being intelligent. | ||
I don't have any time for physical performance. | ||
But yet you exist in the same world that I do. | ||
I know this world. | ||
This world is very physical. | ||
And for you to not enhance your physical body makes me think you're dumb. | ||
You're dumb in some way. | ||
unidentified
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No. | |
If your physical body worked better, your life would be enhanced. | ||
Unless your physical parts are just like laying on the couch and podcasting and fucking. | ||
You're a very rare example. | ||
I don't need to be fit to lay down. | ||
If you did though, don't you think you'd have more energy? | ||
You'd fuck those girls better to stick around longer. | ||
That's what those boner pills are for, dog. | ||
You don't need to do anything. | ||
You just take one of those boner pills. | ||
They can't take it anymore. | ||
Do you remember what Tim Ferriss said, though? | ||
He gives them acid reflex. | ||
Remember what Tim Ferriss said, though, about there's no biological free lunch? | ||
You're paying for that. | ||
For you to get those crazy super boners from these boner pills. | ||
I gotta think that somewhere on the other end of that... | ||
Well, what it does is it makes all your blood go to your dick, right? | ||
I consider that helping the flow of blood throughout your body more accurately. | ||
Efficiently. | ||
You're right, actually. | ||
In fact, they actually use whatever the fuck the active ingredient in protafidil or whatever the fuck it is in Viagra as a performance-enhancing supplement. | ||
I believe it's banned now by Olympic committees. | ||
Why? | ||
Well, because it has a very similar response to these nitric oxide supplements, which are all the rage. | ||
Some of them are actually fucking dangerous. | ||
That Jack 3D, people die on that shit. | ||
A woman just died. | ||
She was a marathon runner in London. | ||
Like 26 years old. | ||
Takes some Jack 3D, runs a marathon. | ||
Boom! | ||
Her ticker just fucking blows. | ||
And if she was laying on the couch watching fucking TV, she would still be alive. | ||
That's what I'm trying to say. | ||
Like, look at this guy. | ||
This Bode Miller on it. | ||
Bode. | ||
Bode Miller. | ||
He's like a famous skier. | ||
I know. | ||
Look at that shit. | ||
Can you imagine doing that shit? | ||
I could, but man, I have a friend, a very good friend who was on the U.S. ski team, Dr. Steve. | ||
Right. | ||
He's called on the show before when we were explaining the cyborg physique, the female cyborg, and how is that possible. | ||
But Dr. Steve was on the US ski team, and he has massive fucking scars all over his legs. | ||
He's had, I believe, some insane number, like 25, 26 surgeries on his knees. | ||
Incredible. | ||
The covers of his knees... | ||
Where his cartilage is, was so chewed away that they resurfaced it with like, it looks like steel. | ||
I mean, I don't know what it is. | ||
It's like some shiny metal. | ||
I don't know whether it's titanium or what the fuck it is, but they resurfaced the caps of his fucking bones. | ||
So he doesn't have bone on bone contact anymore. | ||
So this cap sits on the bone and it just, they roll together. | ||
He's got like everything in his knees fucked. | ||
He's had everything replaced. | ||
Like just last year he had another ACL operation. | ||
I mean, it's just over and over and over again. | ||
This guy... | ||
So when I see skiing, that's what I see. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I see knees. | ||
Yeah, I say, hey, laying on the couch, this would not happen. | ||
So this is what I'm saying. | ||
I say balance, my friend. | ||
There's a balance in everything. | ||
I've had a few operations. | ||
My body works great, though. | ||
You only have so many heartbeats, Joe, and the more you use them... | ||
That's not true. | ||
It is true. | ||
No, it's not true. | ||
Yeah, it is. | ||
Do you think that fat people's hearts just beaded extra fast and that's why they died off quick? | ||
Yeah. | ||
No, it's being obese. | ||
Your body's not... | ||
It's just not healthy. | ||
Well, imagine if you did, if you actually did only have a certain amount of heartbeats. | ||
That was the key. | ||
The key was just like... | ||
Just staying calm. | ||
But then what about good movies? | ||
What about blowjobs? | ||
What about a lot of shit that gets your heart rate up? | ||
Well, that's okay, but if you spend an hour a day doing it times 50, that's a lot of heartbeats. | ||
Instead of getting a quick blowjob, that's... | ||
You mean an hour a day of exercise, hardcore exercise, as opposed to your regimen of sitting around. | ||
Just like a blowjob in TV. Don't you think, though, you would have better performance in this? | ||
Performance podcasting? | ||
In your life? | ||
I just have to move my face a lot. | ||
So you're just happy with your body just doing the minimum amount and get you from point A to point B? Yeah, because I don't want a thousand knee surgeries. | ||
I don't want fucking ringworm on my asshole. | ||
I don't want fucking any of that shit. | ||
I want to be clean and luxurious for women so that they will want to fuck you. | ||
Don'tbescaredhomie.com, okay? | ||
You're a fucking pussy. | ||
Don't be scared of a little ringworm on your butthole. | ||
Brody Miller. | ||
Bodie. | ||
Bodie Miller. | ||
Yeah, looking at that guy skiing is kind of fucked. | ||
He looks like a fucking Tron guy. | ||
Yeah, it doesn't even look real. | ||
He looks like a ninja. | ||
How fast do you think he's going to? | ||
Probably like 50 or 60 fucking miles an hour, right? | ||
unidentified
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Dude. | |
Look at his poles all bending and shit. | ||
unidentified
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I know. | |
Silly. | ||
That's trippy. | ||
That's ridiculous. | ||
Doing that on mushrooms? | ||
unidentified
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He must be fucking flying right there. | |
I snowplow, and I don't ever go that fast. | ||
The scariest thing for me is seeing people that are doing those things where they drop them off a helicopter on a snowboard, and they go down the side of a fucking mountain. | ||
Those guys are animals. | ||
Sometimes they get caught in avalanches, and the avalanche is behind them as they're coming down. | ||
It's terrifying to watch. | ||
That's why you guys have this strong bone and joint. | ||
Why is there no G at the end of that? | ||
Because that's the actual active ingredient. | ||
It's called strong. | ||
Yeah, I don't have my computer in front of me. | ||
I google you the ingredients. | ||
I forgot to bring my laptop. | ||
Do you want to borrow one? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I don't know. | ||
I got a mini. | ||
I'm not sure. | ||
Yeah, maybe. | ||
Just in case I need to Google some shit. | ||
Because I do often times talk out of my ass and I like to correct myself. | ||
Let's see if there's battery here. | ||
Anyway, go to Onnit.com and check out the full range of supplements. | ||
And again, use the code name ROGAN. You'll save yourself 10% off. | ||
That doesn't apply to the fitness equipment because we literally sell it as cheap as humanly possible. | ||
As far as I know, we have the cheapest battle ropes that you can get on the internet. | ||
And that's another great workout piece of equipment that I've been using. | ||
Who else sells battle ropes? | ||
I thought you guys were doing it. | ||
There's other guys, I'm sure. | ||
People that are really into strength and fitness. | ||
I want to start bringing in a few other things. | ||
I'm thinking maybe different things to do chin-ups with. | ||
Chin-ups, I think, are a very important part of working out as well. | ||
I'm thinking maybe even some of those softball handles where you grab a softball and do chin-ups with it. | ||
It's really great for your grip. | ||
Mm-hmm. | ||
You know, like, so you can have, like, our boy Alex Honnold get that kind of grip. | ||
You can scale buildings and shit. | ||
See what I'm saying? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Hey. | ||
Dr. Lazar. | ||
Laser. | ||
Laser. | ||
Do these kind of bookshelves even exist anymore where you have, like, old books and stuff? | ||
Because now it's just, like, you know, a touch of gray or whatever and stuff. | ||
Right. | ||
It's not that classy looking, but... | ||
Yeah, old dudes love that look. | ||
That look of the shiny outside of the book of the most likely you never fucking read. | ||
They love that shit. | ||
And that's shit like Pinocchio, right? | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
This is like Pinocchio and Jaws. | ||
Yeah, quite honestly, I trust you way less if I go over to your house and you have a lot of that shit. | ||
If you have books like that, I really will think that you're a manufactured person. | ||
What are you reading? | ||
Oh, Peter Pan. | ||
That's nice. | ||
Well, it's not even that. | ||
It's like, look at how those books look. | ||
I mean, like, who is this guy? | ||
What the fuck are you buying? | ||
Where are you buying these? | ||
Are you just getting this all as a big set that makes you look classy? | ||
What is this? | ||
I bet there's some secrets in these books. | ||
Some of them are guns. | ||
I bet you open it up with these fucking guns and they're cut out. | ||
Every one of them's got a gun in it. | ||
He looks reptilian. | ||
Could you imagine if every one of his fucking books is actually just a gun holder and this whole time he's smiling and then one day someone goes to pick up the book and they pick up the wrong one and a gun falls out and they're like, what the fuck? | ||
Then they realize the dude had a hundred guns and he was just super compulsive and he collected handguns and put them inside books. | ||
That's why nobody wants to ever read those books. | ||
If you have one of those shiny books with the old style binding that's real super fancy, you have one of those on your shelf, who the fuck's going to pick that up and read it? | ||
Even a robber's not going to read that. | ||
No one will ever touch it. | ||
This is subliminal of big penises right here. | ||
The only way someone's going to touch that is if you left a little kid in the room by himself. | ||
That's the only way those books are getting touched. | ||
But a grown adult? | ||
Dude, that's like DNA. When you reverse him, he becomes satanic and then all that shit becomes DNA. Well, this is rude because this guy works for Onnit. | ||
Obviously, he's not really a reptilian, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
unidentified
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He's world-renowned. | |
Neurophysicist. | ||
You shouldn't do this to his image, dude. | ||
Dr. Laser, he's here. | ||
Hey, fuckhead. | ||
My books. | ||
This guy works for Haunted. | ||
I know. | ||
You probably shouldn't do this to him. | ||
He's giggling. | ||
What if he gets mad? | ||
He's happy about it. | ||
You don't know about that. | ||
You can't do that. | ||
Whoa, look at this picture. | ||
That's not him. | ||
Anyway, scan on to who he really is. | ||
Yeah, who's that guy? | ||
That's another guy. | ||
That's funny. | ||
That's a fake pass. | ||
unidentified
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That's a fake ID. That's not his ID. That guy's got a big mark. | |
That's a list. | ||
Is that a Photoshop? | ||
Did you just Photoshop this? | ||
No, I promise you. | ||
No, that is hilarious. | ||
Maybe that's what he used to look like. | ||
But then they said, on it said, listen, man, for the DVD, you can't look like a biker. | ||
We're going to do an interview with you. | ||
We need you to really dress up, Dr. Laser. | ||
We've got to analyze this better. | ||
I don't have the technology. | ||
Cue the music. | ||
All apologies to the good doctor. | ||
We were just joking around. | ||
And we appreciate his... | ||
He's a neurosurgeon, this gentleman. | ||
And he is a big fan of AlphaBrain. | ||
And he's got a fat Rolex. | ||
Look at that watch. | ||
Pretty sporty. | ||
Alright, go to Onnit.com. | ||
That's O-N-N-I-T. Use the code name ROGAN and save yourself 10% off any and all supplements. | ||
Our apologies to Dr. Laser. | ||
I love you, Dr. Laser. | ||
He's just messing around. | ||
This guy, he's wacky. | ||
But you get to love him, trust me. | ||
Right now, I know it's weird. | ||
He's tenuous, but trust me, he's a good dude. | ||
Alright, cue the podcast, you dirty fuck. | ||
unidentified
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Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! | |
The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night! | ||
All day! | ||
Powerful Brian Redman. | ||
It's just you and me, buddy. | ||
We haven't done one of these for a while. | ||
I know, it's crazy. | ||
You got a mini for me? | ||
You got a little laptop? | ||
Oh yeah, I gotta get the charger. | ||
Oh, okay. | ||
We're waiting for Freeway Rick Ross, I should say. | ||
I say Freeway Rick Ross because we have to make the distinction between him and the guy who's the rapper who calls himself Rick Ross, who says he got his nickname through some other... | ||
He's got some wacky... | ||
Explanation for why he has the same name as this guy who was once an actual huge drug dealer who was actually involved unbeknownst to him to the whole Iran-Contra scandal. | ||
Because back when the CIA or whoever the hell it was was illegally selling drugs in Los Angeles to fund covert operations overseas that they didn't want to get approval for, it's really kind of crazy shit. | ||
This guy was involved in that. | ||
Unbeknownst to him, he was just out there slanging. | ||
He was just out there slanging and didn't realize that he was making so much money because he was... | ||
Sort of in cahoots with Uncle Sam. | ||
Or not even Uncle Sam. | ||
Just, you know, corrupt aspects of Uncle Sam. | ||
I mean, I'm sure... | ||
You can't say all of Uncle Sam's corrupt. | ||
That would be pretty douchey. | ||
Do you think we got to Ari yesterday? | ||
I think we did. | ||
Yeah, I kind of felt bad. | ||
You felt bad? | ||
Why? | ||
Because it seemed like... | ||
It very reminded me of just, how are you thinking like this? | ||
Like, oh shit, maybe we should have done this off the air because maybe this is like he's going through some shit. | ||
Maybe he's smoking too much weed. | ||
Maybe he's fucking... | ||
What if he is smoking just mad amounts of weed from real? | ||
Well, he definitely is, but I don't think it's that. | ||
I just think it's a matter of... | ||
Ari's a very smart guy. | ||
And when you're a smart person and you see something that's really stupid, you can have a really adverse reaction to it where it gets illogical. | ||
And he's allowing himself to get illogical. | ||
And he's allowing himself to get upset at those people. | ||
And the end result is you're not really being victimized. | ||
Yes, you're losing a little bit of the privacy of what you bring on board, but we understand that and we know we're going to do that. | ||
But I think Ari had to re-look at it, and I think once he did, he started seeing it a different way, which shows you how smart he is to know that he can get caught up in a fucked up way of thinking. | ||
But it's just, that can happen to you. | ||
You can get caught up in a fucked up way of thinking, and it's not beneficial, and it's not the only way you could look at it, but it seems like it is at the time. | ||
At the time, it just seems like the way to go. | ||
And you're like, no, fuck that. | ||
But really, when you look at all this shit to be pissed at, that's not up there. | ||
Yeah, and you could tell he was kind of realizing it. | ||
So near the end of it, you could tell he was second-guessing himself. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, you know, his point about the seats, playing seats makes more sense, but it's still... | ||
Yeah. | ||
Ari's a good dude. | ||
He really is a good person. | ||
He's just got, you know, he's got a little bit of anger that comes out of him sometimes when it comes to certain things. | ||
And when he gets angry about something, like, it's very hard for him to look at any other point of view. | ||
But that's super common. | ||
You know, I used to have that a lot. | ||
I used to have a real problem. | ||
Once I got angry about something, I could never think that it was my fault. | ||
That it started in the first place. | ||
I always would try to justify it for myself. | ||
And then I had to look at that. | ||
I'm like, wait a minute. | ||
Why am I making excuses for this? | ||
Look at this for what it actually is. | ||
What actually is going on there? | ||
It's very hard to do. | ||
And a lot of people are bad at it. | ||
And it doesn't mean that you're a bad person. | ||
It means you can get caught in a fucked up way of thinking. | ||
And so you'll just snap, you know? | ||
And for Ari, it could have been something else. | ||
It could have been a girl problem. | ||
It could have been... | ||
Who knows? | ||
It could have been a little bit on edge. | ||
And then you get in front of somebody, and then they do something that you think is just so stupid. | ||
Just fucking stuff. | ||
And then before you know it, you don't even know what you're doing. | ||
You're just yelling at someone, and you're not... | ||
You're not taking a big deep breath and going, what is this really? | ||
How much of an inconvenience is this? | ||
How much should I be reacting? | ||
What is really going on here? | ||
I see a bunch of people doing their job and the ultimate goal is to stop planes from blowing up. | ||
But once you're there, once you're at 10, like he was, like he was yelling at them and shit. | ||
He was at 10. He was at the point where I was going, God damn it, I'm going to have to get a fucking lawyer. | ||
I'm going to have to call a lawyer. | ||
How do I get a guy out of jail? | ||
I've never had to get somebody out of jail. | ||
So if Ari gets arrested, I'm like, fuck, what do I have to do here? | ||
You know? | ||
He seems like he needs to get back into doing jiu-jitsu. | ||
Like, he seems like he has these rage issues, you know, like in the past with, you know, like Bobby Lee and with all that other stuff. | ||
I think it would certainly help him if he had some sort of serious exercise, but I don't think he's really into it. | ||
He does basketball. | ||
I know he does that like once a week or something like that. | ||
Yeah, but not basketball with black guys. | ||
Basketball with black guys. | ||
He plays basketball with little comics. | ||
He plays basketball with cigarette smokers. | ||
Right. | ||
Yeah, it's so true. | ||
It's so true. | ||
That basketball's a joke. | ||
What kind of cardio do those fucks have? | ||
Yeah, I think Mervis. | ||
I don't know if you know Mervis. | ||
He's this big guy that plays one of the Capital One commercial Vikings. | ||
He's on the basketball team also. | ||
This guy's a huge guy. | ||
Oh, that's funny. | ||
The Capital One Vikings commercial. | ||
You know, like, what's in your wallet? | ||
Do you buy things based on cool commercials? | ||
Do you ever do that? | ||
No, but it really tells me like, hey, like Sonos. | ||
I don't know if you know what Sonos is. | ||
This is a company that has this Bluetooth speaker and it sounds amazing. | ||
I bought them for my whole family for Christmas. | ||
It's just this little Bluetooth speaker. | ||
You go on your iPhone. | ||
Yeah, I have it. | ||
Yeah, it's great. | ||
It's really small, like a rectangle, right? | ||
Yeah, it's like a little box. | ||
There's a little blue in the center of it. | ||
I just got it. | ||
It's great. | ||
It's one of my favorite things ever, especially in your bedroom. | ||
What was I talking about now? | ||
Oh, you're so high. | ||
Look at you. | ||
What were we just talking about? | ||
I know. | ||
Bluetooth? | ||
I don't know. | ||
Oh, shit. | ||
unidentified
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What? | |
Commercials. | ||
Buying something? | ||
Oh, they have a really cool commercial. | ||
As an example, I was like, what is this Bluetooth speaker? | ||
And I went on Amazon, read some reviews and stuff like that. | ||
And it kind of made me go, well, if they have such a cool commercial, they are a cool company because they have a cool marketing company. | ||
Well, they have a cool advertising company that they hired. | ||
unidentified
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Right. | |
I mean, have you ever gone to someone's website and you know they suck, but the website's awesome? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Then you just hired somebody cool. | ||
Right. | ||
unidentified
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Exactly. | |
They figured it out. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But there's certain ads where, like, you know, out of respect, you know, you see the ad and you buy shit. | ||
Like, I know somebody who buys Geico because she thinks the Geico ad is hilarious. | ||
Right. | ||
So she's always like, you ever seen the one when pigs can fly? | ||
Yeah, it's so much better than, say, progressive. | ||
I don't want to fuck that girl. | ||
Get away from me. | ||
Okay, that's not true. | ||
A lot of guys want to fuck that girl. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah. | ||
That progressive girl? | ||
Sure. | ||
I don't want... | ||
You don't think that a lot of dudes have a type like that? | ||
I guess. | ||
Do you have a weird type? | ||
Yeah, Asian. | ||
That's not weird at all. | ||
They're amazing, man. | ||
For white people from Ohio, that's about as exotic as you get. | ||
Right. | ||
They're cute, too. | ||
Yeah. | ||
They have little toys. | ||
Asian girls are very attractive. | ||
I don't know. | ||
Did you always like Asians? | ||
Not always, no. | ||
I think Asians are... | ||
The idea for white guys is that, whoa, it's exotic. | ||
This is crazy. | ||
She's like another species. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
And they're super smart. | ||
You get all the danger without dating a black chick. | ||
You get all the danger of being around someone alien to your culture. | ||
But you get this exotic sex girl that's thought to be really submissive. | ||
That's what people always love. | ||
The Asian girls will stay in their place and they'll be submissive and take care of their man. | ||
And like guys will say, oh, I got an Asian wife. | ||
I'll tell you what, I'll never go back to white girls again. | ||
A lot of guys say shit like that. | ||
Is it a certain part of your age that you become a Vietnam vet? | ||
That you just get into age and it's hardcore? | ||
What the fuck? | ||
Listen to that question. | ||
If you use that question, you could use that in court. | ||
To the judge, on paper, the way that question was written, they would take away whoever's taking care of you. | ||
They would bring you somewhere else. | ||
They'd say there's something wrong with this development. | ||
Look at the way he's talking. | ||
I knew this one Asian girl that she would clean me every night. | ||
And she'd put lotion under my eyes and then clean my fingers and make that popping noise and stuff. | ||
And like, whoa, do you do this for professional? | ||
Like, how do you know to do that popping noise on your fingers? | ||
She wants to take care of you. | ||
Yeah, she's taking care of you and washes me with that washcloth. | ||
It's amazing. | ||
But then, you know, normal girls are just like trying to puke in like your trash can and stuff. | ||
Well, yeah. | ||
I mean, well, you're getting real personal here, fella. | ||
But your situation, you know, without talking about it. | ||
Yeah, I mean, you got two choices. | ||
Oh, this is not my current situation right now. | ||
I know it's not your current situation, but that situation, that girl, you know, you either get that and you have a nice girl who takes care of you, or you go on wild freak sex orgies when you're on exorcism. | ||
Those are your two options in this world that you find yourself in. | ||
You're presented with very unique challenges. | ||
Not a lot of people have those problems. | ||
With most guys, the problem is actually just getting laid. | ||
You, the problem is trying to figure out... | ||
It's a crazy world, but when you're talented, when you're in a position, when you have some people paying attention to you, you get superpowers. | ||
Right now, you've got freak superpowers, so you've got to deal with that. | ||
The only way to deal with that is either you go on a fuck rampage, or you find a good one and you settle down. | ||
Those are your two options. | ||
Because, you know, you either use that power for evil, and you go out there and spread your super AIDS, or you find a good girl. | ||
The problem is finding someone that you actually like, and then finding someone that you can actually tolerate. | ||
For a long period of time and then like actually still enjoying being around them. | ||
It's so rare. | ||
It's so rare that they're... | ||
And it's not necessarily the man's problem. | ||
It's not necessarily the woman's problem. | ||
It's like the odds of you finding someone that whatever is wrong with them fits in with whatever is wrong with you and they both like clink and they like fit in perfect and you actually enhance each other. | ||
You actually make each other's lives better. | ||
You can do that, but it's fucking stupid hard to find. | ||
It is possible, but you're definitely not going to find it when you're doing those coke ecstasy binge situations. | ||
Then it's all about rehydrating and then finding out how long do you have to wait before you dig and get hard again. | ||
Every day with those pills, Joe. | ||
Yeah, but I'm telling you, man, you might break something in your brain. | ||
I don't think you're supposed to take that shit every day. | ||
I don't, actually. | ||
But I do. | ||
I'd say once a week I do. | ||
It's like a vacation. | ||
You're so crazy, you don't even buy the pharmaceuticals. | ||
You just go to that fucking drugstore counter. | ||
Mexican taco version. | ||
You get that shit at the gas station that's sitting on the front counter. | ||
I had to get one at 7-Eleven the other day. | ||
You don't even know what the fuck's in there. | ||
I know. | ||
I got this one at 7-Eleven the other day. | ||
I showed you in Vegas. | ||
On the big thing, it's like, watch out for counterfeits. | ||
But it's printed onto the box. | ||
Why would they even say, watch out for counterfeits? | ||
It was such a huge symbol. | ||
And then on the back, it was like, also, peel this off if you want to use it as a calling card. | ||
A calling card? | ||
So it was a calling card slash dick pill thing. | ||
So you could use long distance code? | ||
Yeah, you could make it like a gift card. | ||
When you go to a gift card place. | ||
I don't know, it's fucking weird. | ||
A gift card? | ||
Are you talking about a calling card for a payphone? | ||
Do you remember those? | ||
Yeah. | ||
They still sell those. | ||
Do they still sell those? | ||
Remember 1-800-COLLECT? Remember when that was around? | ||
That was a big thing. | ||
There was all those 1-800-COLLECT companies. | ||
Yeah? | ||
Remember that? | ||
There was like, no, there was a Sprint one. | ||
Oh yeah, that's right. | ||
Yeah, they would offer you... | ||
What are those things that are offering you like a phone that you use through the internet? | ||
What is that? | ||
That still goes on. | ||
But it's like a late night commercial. | ||
It's a phone that works on you. | ||
It cuts your costs down. | ||
The guy's dialing internationally. | ||
What is it, like a Skype phone? | ||
Is that what Yeah, it's like Mr. Jackoff. | ||
Yeah, something along those lines. | ||
Yeah, you plug it in and it just pretty much does what Skype does. | ||
It's just like a USB thing that you attach headphones to or something like that, if I remember correctly. | ||
But that's all it is. | ||
So it's not like an actual phone phone? | ||
No, it's just like what Charter or Skype is or any of these voiceover. | ||
So you have to do the dialing through a computer? | ||
No, I think you could set it up where you can use... | ||
I don't know. | ||
I think there's like a phone jack in it. | ||
That's what it was. | ||
It's a phone jack on one side. | ||
On the other side, it was a USB plug. | ||
And what it does is it just pretty much converts your phone into a voice over the internet. | ||
So you're using Skype, but with a phone line. | ||
So it will ring in. | ||
Why bother with that? | ||
Yeah, well that seemed like it was kind of around more when it used to cost money to be in other states with your phone. | ||
Most people don't have out of state roaming, right? | ||
I don't know anymore. | ||
You don't have issues with out of state roaming. | ||
Like, as far as I know, like, the minutes I have Verizon, I can use it all over the country, and I'm not roaming. | ||
Right, right. | ||
But remember, if you used to, like, drive just a little bit out of your house, you were fucking roaming. | ||
You would be in some area where you don't really have coverage. | ||
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Yeah. | |
So you have to use somebody else's coverage, some other company, and they bill your phone company. | ||
And your phone company bills you, like, double or triple or whatever the fuck it was. | ||
And for then, back then, it was a big deal to, like, make a long-distance call. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Holy shit. | ||
Long distance calls were crazy. | ||
Do you remember when they had phones and planes? | ||
That's one of the only pieces of technology that slipped backwards, was the phones and planes. | ||
That's right. | ||
You never see that anymore. | ||
Never see that. | ||
You know when you used to open up your seat inside your console, there was a phone, you'd slide a credit card down it, and you'd enter in your card information, and then you would fucking use the phone. | ||
You know why? | ||
You know why they don't want you to turn on your cell phones anymore? | ||
Because now they don't want anyone to describe the terrorist events because they're all undercover, you know, government agents and there's really no hijackers. | ||
It's like, you know what I mean? | ||
Like, they don't want communication just in case if they have to take down another plane. | ||
Well, that would be an Alex Jones way of looking at the situation. | ||
It's very clear. | ||
These people don't want you making calls! | ||
These people are the enemies of liberty. | ||
If you're on a plane and some shit goes down, now you just have to draw pictures. | ||
That's right. | ||
Be like a sketch artist at a fucking courthouse. | ||
That's right. | ||
Is that not one of the stupidest gigs ever? | ||
Like, let's, well, you know, you can show what happened, but you can't be really good about describing it, so only draw it. | ||
That show I do Monday, we have a sketch artist that draws, and we had this guy do a Doctor Who drawing. | ||
Sketch artists, for real, are like a last... | ||
What is that? | ||
We have every show. | ||
Yeah, but what is that picture? | ||
It's from Doctor Who. | ||
And then all our faces are in the stomach. | ||
There's me, and there's Brody. | ||
Sketch artists are seriously that, I mean, not the artists themselves, they're just people with a gig, but the idea behind it is seriously one of the most arcane aspects of our judicial system. | ||
It's fucking ridiculous. | ||
When you see those photos on TV, when a guy's in court and you see the TV shows you, the news shows you a drawing. | ||
Like, what? | ||
What the fuck am I saying here? | ||
That is, to me, such a sign of a fucking dorky world. | ||
That it's so screwed up and ridiculous and so nonsensical that they'll film a drawing of some stuff that happened in a time where... | ||
Photographs exist. | ||
It's not like they're not pretending. | ||
They have no idea what happened in that courthouse. | ||
We have no news for you. | ||
No, we had a guy in there, but they wouldn't let him take pictures, but they would let him draw. | ||
You'd be like, what? | ||
Who the fuck's in charge here? | ||
You'd pull him over and go, what is this? | ||
Why is this here? | ||
What are we doing here? | ||
Let him take a fucking picture. | ||
It's 2013, asshole. | ||
You don't need to draw pictures. | ||
Take a fucking picture. | ||
Why do you think they do that, though? | ||
Because someone wants to lie. | ||
Someone wants to be able to lie. | ||
Someone wants to be able to control the access to the images that get displayed from the situation. | ||
Someone wants to be able to control the situation. | ||
That's all it is. | ||
If they wanted the American public, which they should have, especially in criminal cases, we have to worry about whether or not this person is a bad person. | ||
They're out there trying to victimize people. | ||
They're trying to limit your access to how the court works. | ||
To limit your access to what actually takes place in a courtroom. | ||
Because a lot of times it's bullying. | ||
There's a lot of bullshit that goes on in court. | ||
There's a lot of shit that goes on in court. | ||
Did you know the people that get charged with medical marijuana, when they get arrested? | ||
They get arrested federally most of the time. | ||
And they're not even allowed to use the word medical. | ||
They can't say medical marijuana. | ||
They just sold marijuana. | ||
Like, if they use the word medical, they just throw them in jail. | ||
If there's a contempt of court, they'll throw you in jail. | ||
Because they don't believe that marijuana is a medicinal substance or it's not their law, the federal government, they're allowed to say that there is no law, so you can't say medical marijuana. | ||
So, even though you're defending yourself, In the same country where medical marijuana is legal, you're not even allowed to bring it up in a federal court. | ||
If that's not some crazy bullying... | ||
It's stupid that they could censor that. | ||
Yeah, it's unbelievable. | ||
I mean, if people knew about these things, if you're watching video footage of courts, you know, of constant, you know, I know they had court TV for a while. | ||
That was kind of fascinating. | ||
That was like our first time. | ||
Did they get rid of that? | ||
I think it wasn't that popular. | ||
Mostly cases sucked. | ||
And quite honestly, there's a lot of shit that's more interesting than watching trials all day. | ||
And then they had the OJ trial, though. | ||
That was on Court TV, too, wasn't it? | ||
Yeah, I think so. | ||
That was on everything, though. | ||
Remember that? | ||
That was like a television event. | ||
That was kind of like Oliver North, where every channel was all about Oliver North. | ||
Well, it was the first time we were pretty sure that a celebrity had killed a woman. | ||
Like, we're pretty sure. | ||
Right. | ||
You know, there was some speculation about other people in the past. | ||
Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe. | ||
Yes, Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe. | ||
Yeah, a lot of people thought that Marilyn Monroe was talking too much shit. | ||
But that's what they would always think. | ||
It could have been that she was just a crazy bitch who did a lot of pills or whatever and died. | ||
I heard she gave him herpes. | ||
Holy shit, you heard that before? | ||
She started it. | ||
She was the first one. | ||
She was patient zero in the herpes war. | ||
Did herpes exist before the 60s? | ||
I don't know. | ||
When was herpes invented? | ||
I bet it's been around forever. | ||
If I had a guess. | ||
I'd say that shit came from France. | ||
The patient zero is from France, I guarantee you. | ||
Ew, I was actually under a video search on Google when I searched for herpes first. | ||
Oh, they show it to you on video? | ||
Oh! | ||
Gross! | ||
Yeah, shingles is apparently a type of herpes. | ||
Did you know that? | ||
Shingles is like that shit that some people get. | ||
There's bad breakouts all over their back. | ||
Yeah, I know somebody that has that. | ||
It's supposed to be horrible. | ||
I heard somebody got chicken pox, a rare chicken pox the other day, some famous person, and she had already had chicken pox, so it was her second chicken pox. | ||
I thought that's never supposed to happen. | ||
I know. | ||
It was somebody weird like Betty White or somebody. | ||
unidentified
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What? | |
Yeah. | ||
If you're that old, man, you get chicken pox, you're fucked. | ||
When you're really old, you have to wash your hands all the time. | ||
First herpes. | ||
That should be a meme. | ||
If I was going to make fun of me and my points on medical science, if you're really old, you should wash your hands a lot. | ||
But you really should. | ||
They say that's one of the best ways to prevent diseases. | ||
Not constant, don't get nutty, but keep your fucking hands clean. | ||
That's where you pick up most of it, I guess. | ||
Going from hand to mouth, you don't even realize it. | ||
It's kind of rude that we have this weird war going on between our bodies and these strange little things that attack us, that make us feel like shit, and literally weaken your body. | ||
And they're so common. | ||
They happen every year. | ||
There's a whole season with the attack. | ||
Sometimes they get people. | ||
Some people die off. | ||
People that avoid medication, people that are old, people with compromised immune systems. | ||
Colds get them every year. | ||
It's crazy. | ||
We don't even think about it, but colds are monsters. | ||
They're just not that effective. | ||
Barbara Walters hit with chickenpox, a rare version of it. | ||
Did it say she had it already? | ||
unidentified
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Um... | |
I don't know. | ||
I thought it was somebody... | ||
Yeah, what? | ||
Is she not vaccinated? | ||
unidentified
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She's 83. Mama. | |
This is a lot of words. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That sucks, though. | ||
That can't be fun. | ||
Yeah, there's all those weird fucking things like the mumps. | ||
When the mumps comes around, like, what is going on? | ||
What is this shit? | ||
Where's this coming from? | ||
Like, how does that work? | ||
But all of a sudden, some kid has the mumps. | ||
There's a mumps outbreak in New Jersey. | ||
Like, who was the first to get that mumps? | ||
Like, how does that... | ||
How does something like that re-emerge? | ||
Or that other disease that supposedly porn just got back into porn that was really... | ||
Oh yeah, was that syphilis? | ||
Syphilis, yeah. | ||
What the fuck's that about? | ||
That shit's super dangerous. | ||
That shit kills the fuck out of you. | ||
I think syphilis is what got Al Capone. | ||
I'm pretty sure. | ||
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Weird. | |
I think syphilis does like horrible things to you before it kills you too. | ||
It's really bad. | ||
Oh, hilarious. | ||
Court TV is now True TV. Really? | ||
And True TV is the fakest of all TV show channels. | ||
So that's crazy. | ||
Court TV is like, you know what? | ||
We're losing money on real. | ||
Let's go get some fake money. | ||
Let's get some fake. | ||
I was watching that show. | ||
I just got into that Storage War show. | ||
Oh, this is so stupid. | ||
It's so addicting because I want to see what's inside those things. | ||
And I'm thinking, why doesn't... | ||
These storage companies auction these off, right? | ||
Why don't they just go through it and then sell everything and make a ton of money, these storage companies? | ||
Well, I'm pretty sure that it's 100% horseshit. | ||
Well, that does happen, though. | ||
They do have auctions at storage. | ||
When you're watching those shows, they are not taking any chances as to whether or not they find shit. | ||
They just pretend to find shit. | ||
Are you sure that that's a fake show? | ||
I'm almost positive that a good percentage of all reality TV is fuckery. | ||
That what you're seeing is overproduced fuckery. | ||
That's why when you watch it, it's real obvious. | ||
I told you I watched a whole episode of Jersey Shore where the whole episode was about... | ||
Well, that's fake. | ||
Yeah. | ||
One dude wanted to leave. | ||
The situation wanted to leave. | ||
Snooki wanted to stay. | ||
That's the whole episode. | ||
The situation's like, come on, let's get out of here. | ||
And Sookie's like, yo, he wanted to fucking leave. | ||
Fuck him. | ||
And they said, come on, I gotta get out of here. | ||
Like, there was a whole episode. | ||
And you know that they, like, they concoct these fucking things. | ||
I mean, they decide that there's going to be some sort of an issue. | ||
Okay, here's the issue. | ||
Ready? | ||
Go. | ||
When they were trying to do Minding the Store, that was one of the reasons why Duncan didn't want to be involved. | ||
Because, like, it was going to be orchestrated. | ||
Like, they were going to have, like, this is what's going to happen. | ||
You're going to go looking for some Mexican food. | ||
You can't find it. | ||
You look for some Chinese food. | ||
It doesn't look good. | ||
And you go, and finally, you're going to sell on this. | ||
And, like, they had, like, a script. | ||
And they worked it out. | ||
It's like, it's a sketch. | ||
It's just a really bad sketch with no creativity. | ||
Instead of... | ||
It's not reality. | ||
You're not following a guy around. | ||
It's like a sketch about someone finding an old record player in a storage container. | ||
Oh my goodness. | ||
This could be worth a lot of money. | ||
Bitch, you know exactly what that's worth. | ||
You put it there, you fuck. | ||
That's what you're watching. | ||
unidentified
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You're watching shitty sketch TV. Why wouldn't they just do real ones then? | |
Because it's more fun for them to be able to orchestrate it. | ||
Yeah, but even the fake ones would be crazy. | ||
I'm sure they find bodies and... | ||
Sometimes. | ||
Sometimes you don't find anything. | ||
Sometimes you find a bag of newspapers. | ||
Then what the fuck do you do? | ||
Sometimes you find a guy who collected newspaper. | ||
Oh, great. | ||
He's got 100,000 issues of the New York Times here. | ||
Every day for the last 50... | ||
What the fuck? | ||
You'd be so bored. | ||
I bet you gotta go through a lot of storage containers before you find something wacky. | ||
So you can't just keep filming. | ||
And you can't keep buying these things either. | ||
You can't keep rolling the dice. | ||
You might go into one and there's nothing in there. | ||
So I think that if I know the way studios think, they want to maximize their cash. | ||
So listen, is anyone opposed to us fucking leaving a body here? | ||
Let's just leave a body here. | ||
They'll go get a fake body. | ||
They'll put a body in. | ||
And let's say we found a body. | ||
They're out of the fucking mind. | ||
The one guy on the show, I forget his name, but he just goes, yup! | ||
The whole time, he just goes, yup, and he wears hats that say yup on it, and shirts, and his car says yup on it. | ||
Oh, that's his thing. | ||
Yeah, that's his thing, and it's trademarked. | ||
Oh my god, he trademarked yup. | ||
Somebody should drop a meteor in his head. | ||
Yeah. | ||
How do you trademark Yup? | ||
Is that even possible? | ||
Well, I think you have to, it has to be, like his spelled is Y-U-U-U-P or something like that, so it's more of like a, it's not a real word or something. | ||
That's gross. | ||
I can't even watch that show. | ||
I've only watched it a couple times, but one of the guys who left, didn't one of the guys who left say it was all bullshit? | ||
It was all staged? | ||
Who? | ||
unidentified
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It was that guy. | |
It was that same guy, that Yup guy? | ||
Oh, really? | ||
He said it was all staged. | ||
Oh, wow. | ||
Yeah, I might not have listened to him about anything. | ||
I know. | ||
Maybe he's just a drama queen. | ||
Yeah, maybe he's a lying bitch and he's just trying to ruin the whole show. | ||
Maybe I'm wrong. | ||
Maybe Bigfoot hunters are really looking for Bigfoot. | ||
Finding Bigfoot. | ||
They keep doing the same show over and over again. | ||
They have to find something. | ||
Did you ask Tyson about Bigfoot? | ||
I do not know. | ||
Because that would be weird to see. | ||
Yes, it would. | ||
I wanted to ask him about space stuff mostly because that's his specialty. | ||
But yeah, I would like to see his take. | ||
The really fascinating professional take on it is the Jane Goodall take. | ||
That one really sways me because obviously I'm no scholar of primatology. | ||
I don't really know that much about apes. | ||
I just know what I've read and documentaries and stuff, but I've never like formally studied it. | ||
So when someone like Jane Goodall, who when I was in high school, you know, we watched documentaries in class that was a Jane Goodall documentary. | ||
We read books about Jane Goodall. | ||
And when she says that she's sure there's an undiscovered primate living in the Pacific Northwest, I go, damn. | ||
When she says that, she believes in the Yeti as well. | ||
She thinks it's probably the same animal. | ||
Yeah, but maybe, you know, she's getting older in her age, and she picked a soul that she... | ||
This is the journey she picked. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Boy, I got more tweets about Melissa Etheridge and the Melissa Etheridge podcast than any podcast in recent, except Neil Tyson. | ||
But people were either going nuts and loved it, or they were like, God damn, Melissa Etheridge is off her rocker. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, I mean, half the time I was totally on board, though. | ||
It was just that once in a while where something came out that was like... | ||
Well, you know what? | ||
Her point of view is really fascinating because, like I said, it's almost like a religious point of view. | ||
It's like you're empowering yourself with this... | ||
It's a way of looking at the world, but it's like... | ||
I don't know. | ||
It's a tricky thing to think that you're creating your entire world and that you're controlling your own destiny like that. | ||
It's very weird. | ||
It's weird to not recognize that there's a lot of interactions and to ignore all of them. | ||
If you see all the interactions on a street corner, just see people walking across the street and see cars stopping and not stopping and people texting and people not realizing that the light has turned green. | ||
You see all that randomness? | ||
You see people on their phone with their hand up to their head and they don't see a car that's merging to their right-hand side because their head is being covered by the phone? | ||
That's really common. | ||
You can't control all that, okay? | ||
And if you're there, you're telling me that you're safe, you're going to be okay. | ||
Because you haven't arranged to have this happen in your existence. | ||
I say, wow. | ||
I say, wow. | ||
I say, maybe though. | ||
Shit, I don't know. | ||
She might be right. | ||
I mean, what a strange thing it would be if we found out that... | ||
All this time, what we were really lacking was just confidence and understanding of our capabilities. | ||
And that you really can completely manifest your own reality with your mind. | ||
And that your whole world that you live in, you can orchestrate with your mind. | ||
Wow! | ||
I mean, in the future, one day, if that turns out that that's the next evolving capability of human beings, They just weren't aware of it, but some of them made it happen on their own and didn't know why they were doing it. | ||
And then the other ones made their life a complete and total mess. | ||
But it was all essentially their own choice. | ||
Their own choice to do so. | ||
It'd be fascinating. | ||
But it's... | ||
For me personally, I see why she commits to it. | ||
I see why it would be empowering. | ||
And I see why it makes her feel really strong and powerful. | ||
And I see all the benefit in it. | ||
But my point of view is... | ||
Always way more who the fuck knows. | ||
There's way more who the fuck knows. | ||
To anything I can't confirm, like, for sure, 100%. | ||
I don't have anything in front of me that tells me that that could be real. | ||
I don't have anything. | ||
It might be. | ||
I mean, it's one of the possible scenarios the imagination could conjure up. | ||
You could conjure up a million different scenarios as to why you're here, why you're built like you are, why you have the interest you have. | ||
You can come up with a million different combinations of hypothesis as to why and what happens in the previous life, if there is a previous life. | ||
But you're really just making things up. | ||
That's reality. | ||
The reality is, you being in another dimension, and you're choosing this life, like, you're really just making that up. | ||
I don't know if that might be real. | ||
It might be real. | ||
It absolutely might be real. | ||
She almost was borderline talking about being simulation theory. | ||
Meaning, like, you chose the player, you picked the outfit, you know, and then you went... | ||
Like, she was almost saying that we played a game. | ||
We made our character, and we chose the level that we were going to do, what part of the map we were going to live on. | ||
And it was weird if you thought of it that way. | ||
Like, she was almost doing some kind of hippie version of the simulation theory. | ||
Yeah, very much so. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I think the people that believe in the secret and the people that believe in simulation theory, there's definitely a crossover there. | ||
Right. | ||
I mean, if you're really creating your own reality, you know, what the fuck? | ||
See, the problem is reality is so slippery and weird that the idea that we're creating our own reality doesn't seem that far-fetched. | ||
If we found out that this world really is a simulation, I don't think it would be that much different than it is right now. | ||
Because if we didn't know the world was a simulation... | ||
If it never was even a theory and you just looked at this world and you go, does this make sense? | ||
No, this world is filled with shit that doesn't make sense. | ||
Besides the marijuana laws and sketch artists in courtrooms, there's a million fucking things that make no sense. | ||
There's a million things. | ||
They're stacked up all over the place. | ||
And then there's a million things that are so beyond our capability. | ||
Even the people that are enthusiasts in them, like when it comes to cell phones or when it comes to that Bluetooth device you were talking about, the Sonos thing. | ||
Those things are so outside of our understanding. | ||
We can read that, oh, Bluetooth is this bandwidth, 108, 111B. Oh, okay, yeah, all right, and it comes through this way. | ||
Do you know how to make that? | ||
Do you know what you would have to do? | ||
Do you know what reactions are causing the interaction between those two devices? | ||
I have no fucking clue! | ||
And these things exist right alongside sketch artists. | ||
It's like it's all together, like a giant joke. | ||
It's like a joke of a movie. | ||
And if you were going to make a simulation about the Wild West, the roaring 20s of the technological era, it would look exactly like this day and time. | ||
So if we really are players in a simulation, it makes a lot of sense. | ||
The beyond bizarre nature of this reality makes a lot of sense that it's fake. | ||
The problem is, it sounds retarded. | ||
You say that, you sound like a fucking idiot. | ||
You sound like a weirdo. | ||
You sound like a dumbass. | ||
But, scientists way smarter than us are the ones who are proposing this. | ||
It's not us. | ||
Like, I didn't invent the idea of simulation theory. | ||
I became fascinated with it. | ||
I talk about it all the time. | ||
But it absolutely never came from my mind. | ||
It came from me reading something that a scientist wrote about it. | ||
Where I was like, what? | ||
It was not even a thought that I ever even entertained. | ||
The idea that the whole world is like some sort of massive computer program. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's craziness. | ||
It is craziness. | ||
unidentified
|
Joe, did you see this video right here yet? | |
It's a community access channel show. | ||
It's a guy that wants to be like one of those guys that go on the Tonight Show and brings the animals, you know? | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, no. | |
But this is like the amateur. | ||
This is the open mic of being one of those guys. | ||
This guy is the biggest idiot in the world. | ||
What he does, he has a table, and he puts a ton of animals on there, and he mixes animals together that are not supposed to be together, like cats and birds. | ||
Come on. | ||
Check this out. | ||
unidentified
|
How are we? | |
A monkey and a bird? | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, Rick Ross is here. Rick Ross is here. | |
Now bird feathers, iguanas are easy to take care of as long as they have the right diet. | ||
You're better off to just keep them away from wool if it's possible. | ||
Have nothing to grip against, so they're going to grow a lot faster than all the other nails. | ||
Whoops! | ||
Kitty on the floor. | ||
Well, whoops! | ||
Oh, puppy down. | ||
Hello, puppy. | ||
It's important that you really work hard and... | ||
Ferret on the floor now. | ||
It's important that you really work hard in obedience training. | ||
Oh, excuse me, Barney. | ||
Now, this kitten never saw a dog before, so he's scared. | ||
Okay. | ||
Okay, it's the first time he's been here. | ||
Now, if you hold the kitten... | ||
There we go. | ||
Folks using this on iTunes are not going to even appreciate this weirdo. | ||
What is it if they want to Google it? | ||
Who is this guy? | ||
It's on LiveLeak and it's what the fuck, this shirt isn't Animal Planet. | ||
It starts off, it ends with like dogs and turtles. | ||
Okay, let's shut this shit off. | ||
See what happens when you're not here, Rick Ross? | ||
These motherfuckers playing turtles or wrestling with cats and all kinds of shit. | ||
Man, I apologize, man. | ||
No worries, man. | ||
They told me, don't leave. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Ladies and gentlemen, we said before, if you don't know who Rick is... | ||
Rick is at one time an aspiring tennis player in Los Angeles that was a young man that didn't have even the ability to read and became a gigantic cocaine kingpin, wound up going to jail, learned how to read, studied the law, learned that they fucked him, got out of jail because of it, and found out that there's a dude using his name Who's a rapper. | ||
And it's the craziest thing ever. | ||
I mean, if you know rapping, you know Rick Ross, a lot of people are like, oh shit, Rick Ross is going to be on the Joe Rogan podcast? | ||
And then they tune in and they go, who the fuck is this guy? | ||
Hey, people stop me on the street all the time and say, man, I saw you on Joe Rogan. | ||
Matter of fact, it's crazy. | ||
Let me show you this here. | ||
You put me in the t-shirt business. | ||
Ah! | ||
What is it? | ||
The real Rick Ross is not a rapper? | ||
By the way, a dude came to one of my Chicago shows. | ||
He had one of those. | ||
Hey, this is your work, man. | ||
Oh, that's beautiful. | ||
You did that. | ||
unidentified
|
The real Rick Ross is not a rapper. | |
You the one who got me in the t-shirt business, man. | ||
Well, I'm going to wear it. | ||
I'll wear it with honors. | ||
I bought you two here. | ||
Beautiful. | ||
Oh, thank you. | ||
Yeah, I wanted to thank you, man, for putting me up on that game. | ||
If people want to buy them, where can they get them? | ||
They can go to freewaysocialmedia.com. | ||
Freewaysocialmedia.com. | ||
You're going to get hit with an avalanche right now. | ||
You think so? | ||
You think they're going to support me, man? | ||
Are you kidding me? | ||
They're going to support the fuck out of you, man. | ||
They're going to support the fuck out of you. | ||
You're going to get hit with an avalanche of orders. | ||
Damn, you make that shirt look good, man. | ||
Thanks, sir. | ||
Thank you very much. | ||
unidentified
|
So, one more time on the website if they didn't write it down. | |
FreewaySocialMedia.com FreewaySocialMedia.com and get yourself the real Rick Ross is not a rapper. | ||
Man, you see the new business that Joe Rogan put me in. | ||
You know what I'm saying? | ||
Now, not only am I selling t-shirts, I started off selling t-shirts, but now I'm manufacturing them. | ||
I'm putting them together and everything. | ||
Oh, that's beautiful. | ||
You gave me a whole new career. | ||
Well, it's a great career, too, because you know what, man? | ||
This guy's made a lot of fucking money off you. | ||
You should make a lot of money off you, too. | ||
I hope so. | ||
I'm trying. | ||
And this is the way to do it, too, to explain, like, what the fuck? | ||
It's a crazy story, man. | ||
It is. | ||
There's a dude running around pretending to be you. | ||
And almost got killed last weekend. | ||
Was that real? | ||
Because I know 50 Cent and him, if you don't know the whole gangster rap world, ladies and gentlemen, 50 Cent. | ||
And the fake Rick Ross do not like each other. | ||
At all. | ||
At all. | ||
And 50 Cent, who I've met, he's a very nice guy. | ||
He apparently has been saying that the whole thing was staged. | ||
Because none of the bullets hit the car, apparently. | ||
That's amazing. | ||
That's amazing that he didn't get no car, no car. | ||
Was it an AK? I heard it was an AK. I don't know what it was. | ||
Whoever it was was a horrible shot. | ||
Crashed his Rolls Royce. | ||
The worst shot ever if you have an AK. If you got a giant fat dude in front of you in a Mercedes... | ||
What was it? | ||
Rolls Royce. | ||
Rolls Royce. | ||
A nice looking Rolls Royce too. | ||
Yeah, he didn't... | ||
50 Cent makes a lot of sense. | ||
Well, you know, I thought about it after he said that because, I mean, I couldn't just grasp that at first. | ||
And I'm like, I mean, who would go in a community and let off 15 rounds just in buildings? | ||
And how do you miss? | ||
How do you miss 15 times? | ||
I mean, I guess you can in the right circumstances, but man, he's very lucky. | ||
But if he set that up, if he actually would set something up like that with a real gun and shoot it in an occupied community, I mean, he may really wind up being a gangster one day. | ||
In prison. | ||
Or it could be that someone was just trying to scare him. | ||
And that they weren't trying to kill him. | ||
They're trying to get him to give money. | ||
And if he gives them money, you know, you can't give money when you're dead. | ||
So they don't really want to shoot him. | ||
What they want to do is scare the shit out of him. | ||
Let him know they might. | ||
And that's when he crashed his car. | ||
Now that's what I thought too. | ||
That's what I felt. | ||
I felt that it was a warning shot. | ||
You know, pay what you owe. | ||
You know, and get on your business. | ||
And for people who don't know that side of the story, apparently he used someone's name in a rap and there's a... | ||
A group of gentlemen that call themselves the Gangster Disciples. | ||
Apparently they gave him a warning once and he did something else. | ||
I was in jail with some of those guys. | ||
Oh yeah? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
They don't enjoy his use of their vernacular and the image. | ||
I mean, who would? | ||
Who would want somebody to come, represent their thing, something that you've worked hard for, to put together and then hear this guy come in, hasn't paid any dues. | ||
but he enjoys all the benefits. | ||
It's a strange case of Americana, in my opinion. | ||
I find it quite fascinating because we are, in so many ways, we're so silly with our culture and are going way out of the way to pretend to be something that we're not and selling an image and portraying an image. we're so silly with our culture and are going way And his case, his story, is one of the most fascinating ones that I've ever seen. | ||
He's making all kinds of history. | ||
Remember CB40, the Chris Rock? | ||
He's like an updated version of that. | ||
A corrections officer. | ||
I mean, it sounds like... | ||
He's worse than CD4. It sounds like you're writing a movie, right? | ||
A corrections officer who's known to be, like... | ||
Didn't he, like, get, like, Employee of the Month and shit? | ||
He did. | ||
He did. | ||
He got an award. | ||
Okay, so he's a corrections officer. | ||
And you know what you have to do to get an award as a correctional officer? | ||
What do you have to do? | ||
Look at a lot of balls and assholes. | ||
unidentified
|
LAUGHTER You gotta find things. | |
I mean, that would be a job that would suit me, right? | ||
If it was a female facility. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
But even then, but what if you're pulling dynamite out of chicks' pussies all day? | ||
After a while, you get a little paranoid. | ||
Still be fine. | ||
But at a men's facility... | ||
I don't think so. | ||
Not me. | ||
I'm going to have to wait. | ||
So the guy pretends to be this guy with this crazy criminal past of selling drugs. | ||
He tattoos your name on his hands. | ||
Your name, Rick Ross, is tattooed on his hands. | ||
He's got money tattooed all over him and all kinds of other crazy shit. | ||
It's really interesting. | ||
And it just keeps coming out more and more that he gets busted with all this bullshit. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
More and more. | ||
They just did a story on him in Hero and was saying that he comes from a suburbial area. | ||
You know, he's not even from the hood. | ||
So, I mean, you know, it just doesn't end with this guy. | ||
And he's making records, though. | ||
I mean, you know, he's the first major artist to ever have to cancel a concert from Death Threats. | ||
You know what's really fucked up, though? | ||
I think he could have done everything he did with a different name. | ||
Absolutely. | ||
I really do. | ||
I really do. | ||
And some hard work. | ||
He did some hard work. | ||
It's not like he didn't do any hard work at all. | ||
He definitely put out those albums. | ||
He definitely does those shows. | ||
He's definitely hustling, right? | ||
So why the fuck did he have to try to do it under your name? | ||
It's like he showed just his grand weakness as a man. | ||
You know, who are you? | ||
It's one thing if you invent your name, like you want to be Jay-Z, you know? | ||
Even Jay-Z, supposedly, there was a dude named Jazzo that was in his community that was like an older rapper that was really badass. | ||
So he's sort of like... | ||
Damn, Joe. | ||
Is it Jet Magazine you're doing? | ||
How do you know all this? | ||
Dude, I know shit. | ||
I got my thumb on the pulse of a part of the hood. | ||
You know Joe Connected, man. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Joe is connected. | ||
I try to pay attention to shit, dude. | ||
But, I mean, it's one thing to make your own name, you know, to call yourself 50 Cent or whatever. | ||
But if you take another man's name, you're dealing with a completely different thing. | ||
Like, that's not... | ||
You didn't make up a name. | ||
You're a crazy person. | ||
Well, you know, the whole thing about being successful... | ||
I mean, when I came up, the whole thing about being successful was... | ||
To be able to do it yourself. | ||
Right. | ||
You know, not to where you come and, you know, somebody just come and they bless you with everything that you need. | ||
And here you are, you know, you're successful now, but you didn't earn it. | ||
You don't know how you did it. | ||
Right. | ||
When I started, I wanted to make a name for myself. | ||
And I felt that what he's doing right now, he's making a name for me. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know, not for himself. | ||
He's helping you, trust me. | ||
With everybody else's help, this is all helping you. | ||
I guarantee you, it's way better than if this guy wasn't around. | ||
If this guy wasn't around and you got out of jail, it's like, well, you know, sort of life as usual. | ||
And people are going to want to listen to your story. | ||
But now the story becomes uber crazy. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
It becomes really strange. | ||
Because it's not like, you know, there's a lot of dudes who, like, gangster rappers especially, they'll sort of have, like, a tribute name. | ||
Like, they'll call themselves something Gambino. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
But they won't use the whole name. | ||
You know, they won't say, I'm Al Capone. | ||
unidentified
|
Like, come on. | |
You can't say, you know, when you say, you're Rick Ross, he did that, I think, thinking you would never come out of jail. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
I don't think that they thought I would ever get out. | ||
And, you know, it was vacant. | ||
They felt it was a vacant house. | ||
Nobody's watching it move in. | ||
Yeah, because it was really like... | ||
A squatter. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know, he was a squatter. | ||
So he squatted on my name. | ||
And it's also, your reality happened before the internet. | ||
The craziness of your selling drugs and your basically being one of the biggest drug dealers the country has ever known. | ||
All that happened pre-internet. | ||
If it happened today, he would never be able to use that name. | ||
Oh, no, no, no, no. | ||
Absolutely not. | ||
But, you know, I mean, it is what it is, Joe. | ||
Fascinating! | ||
He got it, you know what I'm saying? | ||
And now he has a name, and what I want right now is just for him to stop using it. | ||
And then pay me a little of my dividends that you made from using my name. | ||
I'll tell you this. | ||
Kick back in. | ||
He's never going to stop using it, and he's... | ||
It's not that hard. | ||
Look at Buff Daddy and P. Didion. | ||
He tattooed it on his hands. | ||
Why won't he stop? | ||
Well, he can get his tats covered up. | ||
They removed tats. | ||
But once you tattoo a man's name on your fucking hands, you gotta fight that one out. | ||
unidentified
|
He's in love. | |
He's in love. | ||
He's in love with you for sure. | ||
That has got to be crazy. | ||
Every time he jerks off, he sees your name on his hands. | ||
That's crazy. | ||
He's brushing his teeth. | ||
He sees your name on his hands. | ||
And he knows how you feel about it, too. | ||
It's not like you're some dude who's living in Tibet and hiding in a village. | ||
He doesn't have to have contact with you. | ||
No, I'm out there grinding. | ||
I believe, truly believe it's a gift. | ||
I really do. | ||
I think the whole thing is a gift. | ||
He's a ridiculous human being. | ||
So it's the perfect guy. | ||
Everything you told me to do so far, you was right about it. | ||
I'm an idiot savant, man. | ||
Trust me on this. | ||
I think that him being so ridiculous, he's a preposterous human being. | ||
He's obese. | ||
He's covered in tattoos. | ||
He's a fake rapper who was at one point in time a corrections officer. | ||
For that guy to take your name, it's glorious. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
It's like you couldn't ask for a better candidate. | ||
Because when they investigate it, they go, check this motherfucker out. | ||
And here's what's even better. | ||
He's actually talented. | ||
So a lot of people are going to hear about him. | ||
So a lot of people are going to hear his name. | ||
A lot of people are going to hear the story. | ||
So he's a gift to you. | ||
He really is. | ||
This guy is the greatest PR representative you could have ever hired by far. | ||
No one could ever reach as many people. | ||
And somehow or another get the seeds of your story as this guy pretending to be you. | ||
Well, you know what? | ||
I got a guy, and he wants to meet you. | ||
Yeah? | ||
He may be able to reach more guys than that guy. | ||
Who? | ||
He's the world's greatest spammer. | ||
The world's greatest spammer? | ||
Yeah, his name is Bill Wagner. | ||
I don't think I want to be in the room with that dude. | ||
Yeah, what if you get in a fight with him? | ||
unidentified
|
That would suck. | |
Spam the shit out of you. | ||
You'll never be able to get your email again. | ||
Oh, you know what? | ||
And he says that he does have like a little following. | ||
He doesn't know who they are, right? | ||
But he says every time he goes on the show, if somebody calls in and badmouth him, well, these guys go and get them. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
And send them like a thousand pizzas. | ||
That's funny. | ||
But Bill wants to meet you, man. | ||
Okay, we'll hook it up. | ||
Alright, definitely. | ||
But this guy, though, going back to the fake Rick Ross, him as a publicist, like if you hired him to get your name and story out, do you know how much money it would cost just to get as much attention as it's got, the fact that he stole your name and the fact that so many people are talking about it? | ||
That's an incredible story that, like, I would have to think millions of people have heard now. | ||
Well, I didn't look at it like that. | ||
Millions of people have heard that story now. | ||
You know, I'm more to the point to where, you know, the guy stole my name. | ||
He didn't have the decency to come and say, you know, look, man, I borrowed your name. | ||
I'm going to give it back. | ||
I'm just trying to change the whole way you look at it because I really believe the universe gave you a gift. | ||
You're looking at it like this dude came along and he victimized you and he fucked you over and he owes you. | ||
And I see that too, but I say the universe owes you a gift. | ||
It gave you a gift. | ||
And that gift is, you got an idiot. | ||
You got a silly person pretending to be you who's super talented. | ||
I mean, the guy's really, that Every Day I'm Hustlin', that's a badass song. | ||
That's a badass song. | ||
Even if he stole your, like, the way you talk about shit, like, you said that. | ||
That was, like, your quote, Every Day I'm Hustlin', right? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Yeah, yeah. | ||
Well, I couldn't put it in a song anyway. | ||
The guy did a great job with it. | ||
What I'm saying is that, and so, so many people will pay attention to him because how good he is. | ||
You know, he's a fucking talented guy. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And then, on top of that, he's got your name tattooed on his hands, and then it just spills out from there. | ||
It's beautiful. | ||
He's like a Trojan horse. | ||
He'll get your story into neighborhoods where it would never ordinarily be. | ||
If people investigate him, all they have to do is Google the real Rick Ross. | ||
Boom! | ||
The story pops up within the first two or three paragraphs. | ||
And everybody's going to go, what?! | ||
It becomes crazy. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I think it's a gift. | ||
I mean, when you look at it from that aspect, I mean, I guess you're right. | ||
You can't lose. | ||
You're not losing. | ||
He can't stop you from using your name. | ||
No. | ||
Your real name is fucking Rick Ross. | ||
He can't say shit. | ||
But there's a lot of circles that, you know, like, say for instance, I want to go to Universal and get a record deal. | ||
It's not going to happen. | ||
Yeah, that would be interesting. | ||
If I want to go to Warner Brothers and get a record deal, because he's already working with them. | ||
Yeah, what would they do? | ||
What if you were just undeniable and you had a gigantic following, you were the baddest fucking rapper on earth, but your name was also Rick Ross? | ||
What the fuck would they do? | ||
What would they do? | ||
You gotta change your name now? | ||
You need a stage name, Rick Ross. | ||
You can't be Rick Ross on stage. | ||
Well, maybe I'll be William Roberts. | ||
William Roberts is the actual fake Rick Ross's name. | ||
That's what you should do. | ||
I should change my name to William Roberts. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And see if I can make that famous. | ||
Make that Jack Daniels. | ||
William Roberts is kind of a badass name. | ||
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. | ||
There's nothing wrong with William Roberts. | ||
His dad thought it was pretty good. | ||
Yeah, it's a good name. | ||
That's a strong name, you know, William Roberts. | ||
There's nothing wrong with that name. | ||
Look, Henry Winkler lived his whole life as Henry Winkler. | ||
He turned out great. | ||
Henry Winkler can't fuck with... | ||
That. | ||
William Roberts. | ||
That sounds gangster, too. | ||
Yeah, it does. | ||
William Roberts is strong. | ||
Sounds like a dude holding a glass of cognac with a pistol in his pocket. | ||
That's what I'm saying. | ||
Jack Daniels. | ||
Yeah, I'm fascinated by the most ridiculous aspects of our culture. | ||
One of the most ridiculous aspects of our culture are fakers. | ||
You know, people like... | ||
You know, whether it's a guy who pretends that he was a Navy SEAL who wasn't and he gets caught. | ||
I love reading that shit, man. | ||
There was a dude that was on this mixed martial arts forum. | ||
He was like one of the oldest guys to ever fight in an MMA fight. | ||
He fought in an MMA fight when he was like 60. The guy was crazy. | ||
Big, yoked-up dude at 60, too. | ||
But apparently, he was a big, crazy liar, too. | ||
And he pretended to be in the Special Forces and pretended to have a bunch of kills in Vietnam. | ||
Meanwhile, he worked behind a desk somewhere. | ||
They found out he was a total liar. | ||
He just made up a store, but he had a whole security company and everything. | ||
I am fascinated by that shit. | ||
I'm fascinated. | ||
When I find fakers, fakers to me, they're perplexing. | ||
Well, I think we breed a whole culture now of fakers. | ||
I mean, when you watch TV with the reality shows and it's just so much. | ||
And I think that could be bad for us. | ||
Definitely. | ||
For our kids, you know, for our kids to get that idea that, you know, you can fake it and be successful and really not be successful, I mean, it's kind of ridiculous. | ||
I don't know. | ||
Yeah, we've given a whole generation of people the idea that you can become famous for having no qualities. | ||
Yeah, exactly. | ||
Nothing. | ||
There's nothing there other than, you know, some people want to fuck you, I guess. | ||
You know? | ||
You watch one of those Kim Kardashian shows and you will shut that TV off and just stare at the wall for an hour going, what the fuck is going on here? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
What did I just watch? | ||
I just watched a dumb girl go shopping. | ||
I mean, this is the craziest shit ever, that they made a TV show out of this. | ||
Yeah, they got some of the craziest stuff on TV now. | ||
And most of it's about faking, you know? | ||
The basketball wives. | ||
I think that's going to be a backlash, though. | ||
I think one of the things we're dealing with is, first of all, the fact that TV has really only been around for a couple generations. | ||
You know, the television, the reality of it, when did it start? | ||
In the 50s? | ||
That's not enough time for us to really get a handle of what the fuck it's doing to our culture and then do something about it. | ||
And whenever there's any sort of an opportunity to be opportunistic, to make some cash, the easiest way to make some cash is to put some stupid people on TV and make them do ridiculous shit so people go, what the fuck are they doing? | ||
But you're watching, dummy, and then they sell you Tide in the commercials and, you know, you can make some money that way. | ||
But they don't want smart people. | ||
I don't believe that. | ||
I really think that it's just, it's not that they don't want smart people on TV. It's just that they want a lot of people to watch. | ||
And it's lazy, but the easy way to get a lot of people to watch is just put ridiculous shit on, like Jersey Shore, like, you know, just Real Housewives, where you know these bitches are going to scream and yell at each other. | ||
Over nothing. | ||
They talk about nonsense. | ||
Their minds are filled with air. | ||
There's nothing going on other than she said this, and I said this, and I was like, fuck you, bitch. | ||
You don't even fucking know me. | ||
Don't fuck with me. | ||
What are you watching? | ||
You're watching morons squawk. | ||
You're not even watching a language. | ||
You're watching birds going... | ||
That's what you're watching. | ||
You're watching the human equivalent to crows. | ||
They're nonsense people. | ||
But you can make money off them. | ||
You put them on TV if you're lazy. | ||
But do the people that are producing those shows, is that their true interest? | ||
You know, no. | ||
I mean, in some ways it's kind of fun because it's like the fast food of television. | ||
You know, if you're sitting there eating lunch and you turn on the TV real quick and you watch two bitches yell at each other. | ||
You fucking hell, my tits are real! | ||
You know, you watch that shit, you'll laugh. | ||
You'll goof at it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But the problem is that it becomes a major part of our programming. | ||
You know, it's X amount of percentage of all that's on television today. | ||
Absolutely, absolutely. | ||
And it affects us in ways that so many people don't really understand. | ||
I mean, even like with myself, when I look back at my life, I know that television, movies, affected how I made my decisions because... | ||
That became my reality. | ||
When you're young and you're impressionable, then you see something and you say, oh man, that shit is real. | ||
I'm going to try that myself and see if it works for me. | ||
Just like with this guy William Roberts, the rapper that's using my name, Rick Ross, I believe that he's giving kids the wrong impression that you can go out and sell drugs and parlay that into a record career and I believe this is going to have a tremendous backlash on our young people. | ||
That's also an issue with you, with this guy using your name. | ||
It's not a guy like Jay-Z that's using your name who's a... | ||
You know, an excellent member of the community, a guy who's a real good businessman, a guy who's very smart, doesn't say stupid shit in his raps. | ||
Knows Beyonce. | ||
Knows Beyonce. | ||
unidentified
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He gets to hit it. | |
That's all I care about. | ||
Yeah, I mean, you're looking at a guy who's a preposterous person. | ||
And so, you know, his whole persona is sort of... | ||
Really the polar opposite of everything that you have been speaking about since you got out of jail. | ||
Well, what I learned. | ||
I mean, you know, I learned now that I was duped. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And that I was bamboozled into believing that I was one thing. | ||
And I could have been anything, you know? | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
If somebody would have came to me like you did and gave me the t-shirt game, then I would have been selling t-shirts. | ||
Yeah. | ||
So I believe that what he's doing is... | ||
Basically, what he's doing is lacing the kids' boots just like you did with me. | ||
But he's lacing them for negativity. | ||
And it's a bullshit story. | ||
His story is a bullshit story. | ||
Absolutely. | ||
It doesn't work. | ||
It's a fairy tale. | ||
Yeah, it's a fairy tale. | ||
I think that your story is also a very important story for people to listen to. | ||
There's a lot of folks that have that sort of nonsense, you've got to pull yourself up by your bootstraps mentality when it comes to certain aspects of our society, especially people that grow up In impoverished areas. | ||
People that grow up in the ghetto. | ||
There's this sort of, well, you gotta fucking make it out on your own sort of mentality. | ||
I think that's a crazy way to look at raising children. | ||
I do too. | ||
I think it's insane. | ||
I think there's only one way to raise children correctly. | ||
Love. | ||
And someone who they can respect and someone who provides a good example. | ||
Absolutely. | ||
Someone who they can learn from. | ||
And if a kid is not around that, it's a free-for-all. | ||
Absolutely. | ||
You don't know where he's going to land. | ||
Right. | ||
And they're being raised essentially by a bunch of people that grew up in the same exact environment. | ||
So there's no breaking that cycle. | ||
It's a cycle. | ||
And I think that's one of the biggest problems in our entire society. | ||
And I think that we spend all this time looking at things that can weaken America overseas when the number one most important Commodity in our culture is us itself, human beings. | ||
Everything that's been built, everything that's been invented, everything that's been engineered, everything that's on this earth that makes our life better is made by a human. | ||
That means a human invented that. | ||
That means all this potential that's in these impoverished communities that gets ignored, all this potential... | ||
Of discovery, of curiosity, of creativity, all of it gets wasted in a world of crime and repeating cycles and that as a resource no one looks at. | ||
No one in this country looks at that. | ||
We look at, oh we need oil, we gotta go over here, we look at this. | ||
Our number one resource is human beings. | ||
When you look at resources, what is important to us as humans? | ||
Other humans, man. | ||
Other humans have it set up so we don't have to go hunt some food. | ||
We can go to the store and buy a steak. | ||
You don't even have to cook it. | ||
You go right next door. | ||
This place is badass. | ||
They'll cook it for you. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
They know what to do. | ||
They know the right seasonings. | ||
We've simplified the whole game of being a human being because we're important. | ||
Because so many of us get together and we provide the resources for each other and we have a system and it all works out well. | ||
Well, you gotta look at it in terms of where does that all come from? | ||
It all comes from children. | ||
That's when you really have your shot. | ||
You really have your shot when you're growing and developing and learning things. | ||
So your story is a really, really important story to be told because you're finding yourself in a situation where you couldn't read and you're already out of high school. | ||
You find yourself all of a sudden involved in this drug game and that seems like the only prospect. | ||
You couldn't go to school for tennis because you didn't know how to read. | ||
You made it through a school system without knowing how to read. | ||
And that's common. | ||
That happens a lot. | ||
A lot more than people want to admit. | ||
65% of the guys in prison can't read. | ||
unidentified
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That's fucking crazy! | |
That is fucking crazy. | ||
You know, someone posted something, because I'm always talking about this, about how many different prisons are privatized in this country, and how many are actually... | ||
Privately owned institutions. | ||
That's the big business right now. | ||
It's somewhere around 8 to 10 percent, depending on who you ask, of all the prisons in this country. | ||
And they're switching up. | ||
When I was in prison, they were trying out even the prisons that was owned by the federal government were starting to turn the prisons over to Wagon Hut. | ||
Jesus Christ. | ||
It's really crazy the idea that you can put people in jail and you can make money from it. | ||
And that there's actually like a whole crop of people that are going to come out of this one area as long as you ignore it. | ||
Well now they say that they can tell from a kid that's in the third grade if he's going to prison or not. | ||
What is it, psychologists are saying this? | ||
That's what they're saying, yeah. | ||
That's ridiculous. | ||
You can't tell that. | ||
You can pull that kid out of there and straighten him out. | ||
I mean, almost any kid can be raised correctly. | ||
It's just almost every kid can be fucked up if they're not raised correctly. | ||
Absolutely. | ||
I don't think that it matters really to the kid. | ||
It's really the environment. | ||
If you leave a kid in an environment where there's crime... | ||
They'll start to adapt to the crime, you know, and think that crime is okay. | ||
I mean, because I had got to the point where I believed that that was a way of life. | ||
That's how everybody did it. | ||
Yeah, I think that's the environment that you grow up in is a huge factor on who you become. | ||
It's a huge, huge factor. | ||
And like I said, one of the weakest areas of our country are the places with the most crime and the places with the most despair. | ||
And that's the places that also get the least attention. | ||
It's like we're a person that has like a pile of... | ||
Of garbage in the corner of the house, and we keep saying we're going to get to it, but we just ignore it and walk around it. | ||
Instead of just fixing it. | ||
Instead of just fixing the situation. | ||
If we put just a tenth of what we put into our military budget, just one tenth, to just Settle the inner cities down, provide guidance, put places in where people can stay if they have nowhere to go, and educate people better. | ||
Just make it so there's profit in rebuilding cities, the same way there's profit in rebuilding cities, the way we bomb the fuck out of them. | ||
If we could just figure out how to do that. | ||
Well, see, man, you need to go up in the White House and help Obama out because I said take some of that money they're spending on the drug war. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know, they spend like $60 billion a year fighting drugs. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
You know what the problem with stopping the drug war is? | ||
There's a whole lot of people fighting the drug war and they'll be out of work. | ||
That's going to be a real problem. | ||
Yeah. | ||
One of the things that keeps certain drugs illegal is the prison guards actually have lobbyists. | ||
Yeah. | ||
They want to make sure that certain drug laws stay in place because that keeps them in business. | ||
Absolutely. | ||
Which is crazy that someone would actually, without having to be there and see the look in a person's eyes when they slam the cell on them, without actually being there and experiencing their pain, they're willing to make that decision because they're so far removed from it. | ||
It's just them talking to a lobbyist and writing something down and they sign something and make an agreement and shake some hands. | ||
And then all of a sudden, boom, this cell somewhere down the line gets shut on a man, and a man loses his life. | ||
He loses the reality of the life that he lived because someone is making some money off of him being in jail. | ||
And the children lose a father. | ||
Yeah, children lose a father. | ||
The wife loses a husband. | ||
Crazy. | ||
And for victimless crimes. | ||
And for something completely illogical like most drugs. | ||
When you look at most drugs and the harm that most drugs do, there's nothing compared to the harm that legal shit like alcohol does, which nobody's trying to stop. | ||
I've never heard a single politician say we need to stop people smoking cigarettes. | ||
I've never heard one. | ||
I'm just waiting for one person to stand up and say, do you know that there is a company that is selling poison that kills half a million people every year? | ||
Every year in this country, half a million people die because of that. | ||
This company that's selling poison that they know kills people. | ||
And they're making billions of dollars. | ||
Well, you know what? | ||
He's going to lose his contribution, so he can't say it. | ||
Yeah, they can't say it. | ||
They never will say it. | ||
But, I mean, if a new company came along that was just selling poison to kids, would it really be as bad as cigarettes? | ||
I mean, I don't want to compare cigarettes to meth because meth does a quicker job. | ||
I mean, I don't want to exaggerate the effect. | ||
But when you see a dude who's like 70 years old, been smoking cigarettes his whole life, he's doing this... | ||
And then he takes another drag and you go, whoa, they got that dude. | ||
Yeah. | ||
They got him. | ||
But then they're trying to get new ones because they always kill their customers. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But they keep you around. | ||
They slow cook you. | ||
They're like a smoker. | ||
It's only 150 degrees. | ||
You've got to take a day to cook you. | ||
It takes a long time to kill you with cigarettes. | ||
It's not a quick thing. | ||
To me, it's amazing that no one ever brings it up. | ||
It never even gets talked about. | ||
Well, somebody like you, you know that we need people that's going to stand up and educate our people, man. | ||
I have too many skeletons in my closet. | ||
They need someone who listens to me that's got their fucking feet on the straight and narrow. | ||
Hey, I mean, nobody's perfect, though. | ||
We all got our faults. | ||
Oh, I know we all have our faults, but my path is definitely not to be in any form of political office. | ||
It's not for me. | ||
I don't have that time. | ||
I don't want to listen to anybody. | ||
I don't want to have to do shit I don't want to do. | ||
I don't want that responsibility. | ||
This system, too, I feel like jumping into this system is like just jumping into a tank full of sharks. | ||
It's like, you don't know the rules. | ||
You don't know how these fucking crazy assholes have been operating. | ||
I would like to talk to Arnold. | ||
I would like to ask him what the fuck was it like to go from being Mr. Olympia to being the governor of California. | ||
You don't think he'd come here and sit down with you? | ||
He might. | ||
He might. | ||
I bet I could get him maybe in a year. | ||
Like, maybe not right now. | ||
I'm starting to get bigger examples. | ||
I'd have to find someone. | ||
I actually do know someone who knows him. | ||
Brian Callen did a movie with him. | ||
He said he was great. | ||
He said he was a great guy. | ||
He said he was hilarious. | ||
This is like after the scandal with his maid and everything. | ||
How many men get to have two wives living in the same house? | ||
Damn. | ||
Arnold, he's quite a character. | ||
I would like to talk to him about what it was like to be a governor. | ||
Whether it was what he thought it was going to be like. | ||
Because you look at that shit from the outside. | ||
What the hell do you do once you get in there? | ||
How could you fix any of this stuff? | ||
We don't have any money. | ||
God damn. | ||
The money for schools and money for all these programs that you want to initiate, there's really not that much resources. | ||
It's got to be really difficult. | ||
And then you've got all these people that are trying to steal. | ||
All these people trying to get contracts. | ||
All of them trying to steal. | ||
They're trying to steal from each other. | ||
You've got to hide the money from each other. | ||
I would love to get high with Obama. | ||
That would be my favorite thing. | ||
If you said, would you like to be able to fly through the air like Superman for three hours, fly wherever you want, or sit down, smoke weed with Obama for three hours, I will take the latter. | ||
I would smoke weed with Obama more than I would fly like Superman for three hours. | ||
And that's saying a lot. | ||
Because flying like Superman would be cool as fuck. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
If you could do that, especially if you were high and you flew like Superman. | ||
Flying as Superwoman would be better. | ||
Flying as Superwoman would be better. | ||
Shut up. | ||
Because you have boobs and a vagina. | ||
unidentified
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Shut up. | |
You always say this. | ||
It's not true. | ||
It's way better. | ||
You'd be a chick and then you'd start crying. | ||
For an hour? | ||
You'd get your period halfway in the middle of your flight. | ||
No. | ||
Stop. | ||
I would love to talk. | ||
Shut up. | ||
I would love to talk to that dude and find out what it's like to actually be the president. | ||
Yeah, I'd like to talk to him too. | ||
Tell him I got some homeboys in prison for non-violent offenses. | ||
When are you going to let him out? | ||
Do you think he would do it? | ||
Do you think he would ever sit down with someone like you and have a conversation? | ||
He might be the only guy that's ever been president. | ||
That might not be political correct to sit down with me, you know? | ||
Yeah, but he's what they call a lame duck. | ||
It's like he can't win again. | ||
Can you imagine the headlines? | ||
President Obama sits down with a drug dealer. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, but, you know, you've shown since you've got out that you've been trying to put people on a path different than the one that you've been on. | ||
I think that's all you can ask from a man. | ||
You can't ask for a man to not make mistakes. | ||
What you ask for a man is to, once he's made mistakes, be honest about those mistakes and try to help people to keep them from making the same mistakes themselves. | ||
You've done that. | ||
That's an exemplary member of society. | ||
Yeah, but they still, you know, want to throw... | ||
The drug dealer. | ||
Listen, they don't appreciate that you are a bad motherfucker in an illegal business. | ||
That's what it is. | ||
They don't appreciate that. | ||
Bad motherfuckers in illegal business are still bad motherfuckers. | ||
You focused your energy. | ||
And I didn't put a gun in nobody's head. | ||
I never walked up to nobody and said, look, motherfucker, you're going to smoke this here. | ||
Right. | ||
Get the pipe, pick the pipe up, put it on there, and smoke it right now while I'm watching it. | ||
Do you think you would have been able to, I mean, it's really kind of, I hate to say this again, but it really kind of is a gift that you got stopped from continuing to sell drugs because there's no old drug dealers. | ||
There's no bold drug dealers and there's no old drug dealers. | ||
No. | ||
And there's certainly no old bold drug dealers. | ||
unidentified
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Right? | |
You get to a certain point in time and somebody wants your spot or there's something going on or there's a lot of money involved. | ||
Shit goes down. | ||
But you manage to avoid all of that. | ||
Well, I did 20 years, though. | ||
You did, and you learned how to write, okay? | ||
And when you came out, look at you now. | ||
Like, look at you now. | ||
You're positive. | ||
You're happy. | ||
Every time I see you, you're smiling. | ||
You have a warm way about you. | ||
You're very personal with people. | ||
Like, I would never wish 20 years in prison on anybody, but you handled it about as good as a person can do. | ||
Yeah, well, you know, when I was there, I made up my mind that I wasn't going to let prison do me. | ||
Right. | ||
You know, a lot of guys, when they come there, they mope around and they cry about being there. | ||
And what I said is that, you know what, I'm going to make the best of this because I'm going home. | ||
Even though I had a life sentence, I always had in the back of my mind that I was going to get out one day. | ||
And so I started preparing to do that because I knew nobody was going to hire me. | ||
You know, some told me, say, man... | ||
If you ever get out, the first thing they're going to say about you is you're a drug dealer. | ||
So you've got to do something to where you can get in and you don't have to need anybody to approve you. | ||
So many guys, they get out, they have to go to people, go to McDonald's, fill out an application, and hoping that they accept them. | ||
Well, I don't work like that. | ||
I work to a way where nobody has to approve me but myself. | ||
Well, that's the way you would like to work. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Everybody would like to be in that situation, but you demand that, and that's what made you a bad motherfucker in an illegal business, and that's what makes you a bad motherfucker in legal businesses that you focus yourself on. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
For someone like Obama or anyone to meet with you. | ||
I think it's important to give people the... | ||
First of all, to show people your story. | ||
And second of all, to let people know that when you make mistakes in life, you can correct those and be better because of it. | ||
And then have... | ||
Part of your contribution is explaining mistakes and letting young kids... | ||
And I think that's important. | ||
It's very important. | ||
You know, I think it's very important that people who've made mistakes come back and tell others, well, you know what, if you go that way, this is what's going to happen. | ||
But a lot of people, you know, they don't look at it that way. | ||
You know, like sometimes I want to go out and speak to kids and they... | ||
One day I'm at a high school in L.A. and they call the news and tell them, hey, they got a drug dealer on the campus. | ||
And so the news crew, they shoot down to the school, and just as I'm walking out, and they're like, where's the drug dealer? | ||
They said, it's a drug dealer on campus. | ||
And I said, no, it's an ex-drug dealer. | ||
And they said, oh, no, we thought it was somebody else. | ||
Sensationalism. | ||
They're just looking for things to be exciting. | ||
Well, you know, negative news sales. | ||
They're not looking for anything positive. | ||
They don't want to portray the positiveness in what I'm doing. | ||
And I can deal with that because I'm not doing it for their approval. | ||
I'm doing it because this is what I like doing and I think it's the right thing for me to do. | ||
I think it's the right thing for you to do too. | ||
And I think that what you said about that it's good for people to see these examples of people who've made mistakes and explained their mistakes. | ||
I think it's something that's missing in our world. | ||
And I think that if there were more books written, instead of just about crime and glorifying crime, how about it written about dudes who did shit and wish they could take it back? | ||
unidentified
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Right. | |
How about talk to dudes who murdered their wife and like, God damn it, I love that girl. | ||
Like, what the fuck was wrong with me? | ||
Once you settle down, you realize how crazy you were when you killed someone. | ||
And then there's very few books where people are honest about that, about... | ||
Or if you let some of those guys in prison, you know, I think that we should have a system where guys that are in prison, in these maximum security prisons, get a way to tell the kids what it's like. | ||
You know, sitting in a cell by yourself 23 hours a day or 24 hours a day. | ||
Well, I know they had that scared straight, you know, they had that scared straight program that they were doing with kids for a while. | ||
They made a lot of videos about that. | ||
Do you remember that? | ||
I remember that when I was growing up. | ||
I mean something even more because I don't know if that was real or not. | ||
Right. | ||
It seemed a little theatrical, right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I'm talking about something that's really... | ||
Because a lot of those guys in prison, you know, even like the guy Larry Hoover who the rapper rapped about. | ||
I think a guy like him, he's famous. | ||
And he would be great to reach out to the kids and tell the kids what it's like to live in the maximum, you know, one of the most secure penitentiaries in the United States. | ||
unidentified
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Okay. | |
I mean, because I'm even fascinated with what it's like in there. | ||
You know, I hear that they're locked down 23 hours a day. | ||
Their shower moves to their door. | ||
So, you know, you don't come out your cell to shower. | ||
Your mail comes over a screen. | ||
I mean, it's like terrible. | ||
You don't have any human contact. | ||
unidentified
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Wow. | |
So everyone is essentially in solitary. | ||
Yep. | ||
And then one hour a day, are you allowed to mingle with people? | ||
Well, you're allowed to go out in the sun. | ||
And is there other people out there as well? | ||
I don't think so. | ||
So you go out in the sun by yourself? | ||
Right. | ||
unidentified
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What the fuck? | |
In a little box. | ||
It's a little box, you know, where the sun can shine down, probably through a window or something. | ||
You know, they let you play handball or something like that. | ||
Oh my god. | ||
But I hear it's an awful thing, you know, and... | ||
We got guys there that should be able to tell their stories. | ||
Yeah, that's a crazy life. | ||
The world changes. | ||
Not the way I had planned on living my life, and I was close to living like that. | ||
I missed that by really just a few decisions. | ||
I made a few of the right decisions at the right time, and it spared me from being... | ||
In that position because I could have made, you know, some decisions that could have landed me there. | ||
You know, it was times that other people were suggesting, oh, do this here, do this here. | ||
Something violent. | ||
Something violent, you know. | ||
Somebody had run off with some money and, you know, my guys, man, let's teach them a lesson. | ||
Something just told me. | ||
That ain't the way to go. | ||
Well, it's very intelligent that you did that. | ||
I think your story, like I said, is very important for young people. | ||
I remember very clearly how stupid I was when I was 13 or 14. I would think about the future and where I would be. | ||
I could have made a million dumb decisions. | ||
When I was that age and I think every time you as a young man get to see the example of people who've made mistakes and corrected them or went the wrong way in life and then rewrote their path later in life and became successful, I think those are really important for young people to shape their vision of the world, to understand that there's going to be decisions you're going to have to make and part of the learning process is making the wrong decision. | ||
Absolutely. | ||
Well, you know, one time I read a book about a guy, and he was saying that people think that he's smart. | ||
And he said that he don't think he's smart, he just made a lot of bad decisions. | ||
And by making so many bad decisions, he made a few correct ones. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That is a weird thing where we want people to have never made any bad decisions. | ||
We want you to only be correct all the time. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And you have to develop. | ||
You know, one of the things that I've been telling the young people I'm working with right now, you know, I got a young artist that I'm working with right now, C. Carter. | ||
Shout out to C. Carter. | ||
Y'all check her out at IamCCarter on Twitter. | ||
Are you managing? | ||
I'm managing her. | ||
You're managing? | ||
She dope too. | ||
C. Carter, like the letter C? Yeah. | ||
And then another C, A-R-T-E-R? Yep. | ||
C. Carter. | ||
And one of the main things that I'm trying to get her to understand, and she has a remarkable story, too, when people investigate her and find out where she comes from. | ||
And she was telling me just, she's never had anybody like me to give her the advice that I'm giving her. | ||
And one of the things that I tell her is that you must continue to develop. | ||
And in order to develop, you have to try new things. | ||
And when you try new things, you're going to make some mistakes. | ||
As long as you don't make mistakes that's going to send you to prison or kill you, you're good. | ||
Yeah, as long as you make the mistakes that you're just taking chances. | ||
You're not doing something fucked up. | ||
Exactly. | ||
There's a lot of mistakes that are the most important things that you're ever going to do in your life. | ||
Some of the failures that I've had over the years have been the motivating factors for success times a million. | ||
If I had done well instead of just failed miserably, maybe I wouldn't have gotten so excited about picking up the pieces and getting my shit together again. | ||
I think that some of the biggest fuck-ups I've ever had are the most motivating factors in my life. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know? | ||
I think people need to hear that, man. | ||
Well, definitely for mine. | ||
One of the biggest mistakes I made was to get involved with selling cocaine. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But it's been one of the... | ||
Probably the most educational things in my whole life. | ||
In the whole game, I spent about 28 years selling it for eight and then the 20 years I did in prison. | ||
So it was a big chunk of my life that I spent in that game. | ||
But I learned so much from that that, man, I wouldn't give it back for nothing. | ||
It's a fascinating thing, isn't it? | ||
The life that you think you're going to live when you're a kid watching TV shows, and the actual life that you've lived after all these years, it gets very strange, doesn't it? | ||
It does, it does, it does. | ||
Now, I know you're in the middle of some sort of a court case with this dude who's stealing your name. | ||
Where does it stand right now? | ||
We have a trial day right now against Warner Brothers. | ||
We go to trial August the 27th. | ||
Just come from court for that right now. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Can't talk about it. | ||
Right. | ||
But, you know, I'm not going to give up. | ||
No matter what they do, they throw all these lawyers at me. | ||
Have they tried to give you a settlement? | ||
Would you ever license your name if you won? | ||
Like, hey, I get 30% of everything you do. | ||
I don't want to, you know? | ||
Right. | ||
But at the same time, you know, I'm really tired of dealing with this issue, you know? | ||
Maybe you could license it openly on the internet and a lot of people can become Rick Ross. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Make it a website. | ||
BeRickRoss.com. | ||
You would, like, flood the internet with Rick Ross's. | ||
If you did it, like, as a PayPal thing where it's only five bucks and for five bucks you could use the name Rick Ross. | ||
Yeah. | ||
So all these people's websites are, like, the newest of the new Rick Ross. | ||
And, like... | ||
Obvious, like white dudes with red hair pretending to be the newest Rick Ross because they licensed that for five bucks. | ||
And then that shit becomes a joke. | ||
And then he becomes a ridiculous person. | ||
Even more ridiculous. | ||
I might try that, man. | ||
And he'd probably make a lot of fucking money. | ||
And by the way, the other people, how long are they going to keep using that name? | ||
Oh, like a week? | ||
It's going to fuck around. | ||
You don't think nobody might adopt it forever? | ||
A lot of people would. | ||
And tattoo it on him? | ||
At least one dude would tattoo it on him. | ||
Did you see that crazy girl who met a dude for 24 hours and then had him tattoo his name on her face? | ||
Yes. | ||
That was the most horrific thing I've ever seen in my life. | ||
Pull up the picture when you can. | ||
It's unbelievable. | ||
I guess it was in Russia or something like that. | ||
Her whole face was this dude's name. | ||
Like, the whole side of her face, he tattooed in giant black letters his name. | ||
Wow. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Whoa. | ||
I might try that $5 thing, though. | ||
That sounds like an idea. | ||
It's not a bad idea. | ||
It won't cost me anything, huh? | ||
License the use of the name Rick Ross. | ||
It'll cost you $5. | ||
The only problem with that is then it sets a precedent, and then the Rick Ross rapper goes, well, I'll give you $5. | ||
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Shit. | |
Alright, look at this. | ||
Look at this. | ||
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This horrific tattoo this girl got. | |
On the left and the right side of her face. | ||
That's unbelievable, man. | ||
She was dead there. | ||
It's like a car accident on her face. | ||
This guy just tattooed his name across her face. | ||
And this photo looks like she was a pretty girl. | ||
Oh, she was beautiful. | ||
They had a picture of her before the tattoo. | ||
It's crazy. | ||
What was she thinking about? | ||
I don't know. | ||
She's nuts. | ||
And look at the guy! | ||
Look at the guy. | ||
He's got tattoos all over his face, too. | ||
Oh, look at her. | ||
Oh, she was really pretty before that. | ||
Scroll back up again. | ||
This guy is a jerk for letting her do that. | ||
He looks like a baby. | ||
Dude, he did it to her. | ||
He's a jerk. | ||
He tattooed her. | ||
What a jerk. | ||
He's not a nice guy. | ||
Wow. | ||
That makes me mad. | ||
The world's fucked, man. | ||
There's at least one dude who will tattoo your name on their knuckles. | ||
We better not try that, though. | ||
We better not try that. | ||
Yeah, let's not try that until after the settlement. | ||
After the settlement, after Rick, he's going to have to pay you. | ||
He's inevitably going to have to pay you. | ||
But when he pays you, what does he do? | ||
Does he become Rosé? | ||
Does he change his name and just become Rosé? | ||
And that's his new... | ||
He's sort of got like an escape identity, right? | ||
He's sort of got a bit of an escape identity with that other name, right? | ||
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
He came up with that to offset. | ||
It's not a bad move. | ||
He should really commit to that. | ||
I think he should commit to his real name. | ||
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William Roberts. | |
I mean, you know, make his dad proud of him. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Is his dad still around? | ||
Your dad come to a concert. | ||
That's my son up there in... | ||
If he's built like his dad, his dad probably ain't around. | ||
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I would change my name to R2. R2D2? No, just R2. R2, Rick Ross 2? | |
Just R2, yeah. | ||
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R-Dose? | |
That's kind of hip. | ||
R-R-Dose? | ||
The whole thing's a mess, man. | ||
Is it surreal to you? | ||
I mean, how does it feel like to have a guy that you see on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine, you see your name on it, and you're just like, what kind of world are we living in? | ||
It kind of lets me know that I did accomplish something in life. | ||
I mean, you know, when people start naming themselves after you, you know you came, right? | ||
You did it so... | ||
It's such a fascinating way because you did it... | ||
First of all, you avoided violence, and then you got out, and then learned how to read, went through jail and everything, and then you came out and you're like this peaceful person. | ||
It's like you managed to avoid a lot of the negative karma and negative repercussions of that situation, but you also managed to keep that name. | ||
I mean, you are Rick Ross. | ||
You're the real Rick Ross. | ||
Yeah, I'm the real Rick Ross. | ||
I heard about you before you went to jail. | ||
I heard about you in the news. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Fuck yeah. | ||
A long time ago. | ||
I think I was in Massachusetts. | ||
You know what? | ||
I used to believe, when I was in the drug business, I believed I was under the radar. | ||
I didn't think people knew about me, right? | ||
Because I used to use fake names to hide myself. | ||
When I go around people who didn't know me, You know, all my friends would call me. | ||
Hey, Charlie. | ||
Hey, Joe. | ||
All the time, different names? | ||
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
You know, because you don't want nobody knowing your name because if somebody knows your name, now they can tell the cops, hey. | ||
Right. | ||
That guy's the guy. | ||
That's the guy right there, Rick Ross. | ||
Right. | ||
You know, we would go to clubs and stuff like that. | ||
People would call me anything but Rick Ross, you know. | ||
Now, when you found out, I guess you said you were in jail. | ||
When you found out about the whole connection to the Iran-Contra scandal. | ||
Yeah. | ||
How did you find that out? | ||
For the folks who don't know, just give them the real quick rundown of what it was. | ||
My lawyer calls me one day, and we're talking about my case, and he tells me, he says, man, this reporter calls me and says he got some stuff for us, but he's not going to give us what he got unless we give him what we got. | ||
You want to talk to him? | ||
I'm looking at a life sentence, so I'm like, man, I ain't got nothing to lose. | ||
Tell him to come on down. | ||
What are you going to do? | ||
He can't do no more than already done. | ||
So he comes down, we start talking, and he's telling me about it. | ||
Oh man, this thing is bigger than you, and you don't know what you was into, and then all of a sudden, I'm thinking like, wow. | ||
Because I just went through the thing with the crooked cops, you know, with the L.A. sheriff that was planting the drugs and stealing the money and had the houses, you know, in Arizona on the river and whatnot, right? | ||
So I'm saying, bigger? | ||
Well, maybe these might be DEA agents that's crooked, right? | ||
So... | ||
I don't know. | ||
So then all of a sudden we go to trial. | ||
We start trial. | ||
And then he doesn't give us the information, but what he does is he starts to ask questions through my lawyer. | ||
And then he starts to talk about Ronald Reagan and Enrique Remutes and the Nicaraguan Contras. | ||
And I'm like, the Nicaraguan Contras? | ||
So when I go back to my cell, I start studying. | ||
What was the Contras? | ||
You know, who is Enrique Remudes and the whole nine yards? | ||
He still doesn't tell me. | ||
I don't find out the whole scoop until his newspaper dropped. | ||
When his newspaper dropped in the San Jose Mercury News, I'm on the front cover. | ||
And it says that the CIA-backed Army was selling drugs to me, which they was. | ||
I knew Blandone, but I didn't know he was working with the CIA. I mean, like, damn, the guy I'm working with? | ||
You should have told me. | ||
We could have really got it in, right? | ||
So that's when I first found out. | ||
That was my first. | ||
And a lot of people, you know, they don't believe me when I tell them that I had no knowledge. | ||
But I had absolutely no knowledge that he was a CIA operative. | ||
It's crazy that the people that busted you were not aware of your whole situation. | ||
They were not aware of who you were making money for. | ||
No. | ||
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Well... | |
So that just shows you how much chaos is in that whole world of black ops. | ||
Well, you know, that drug business, man, it's so big, you know. | ||
And I'm not just saying from the street level, but for DEA, you know, I watched a documentary about two weeks ago. | ||
I spoke at a church in Compton. | ||
And they had some cops on there and were saying that these cops wouldn't investigate homicides because you would get a better promotion by investigating drugs. | ||
If you want to go and be the captain of the station, you don't go to homicide. | ||
If you're on homicide, you want to switch to drug enforcement because that's where they were giving all the promotions to. | ||
To tie up that story, for the folks who don't know the story or are listening to this for the first time, what he was saying was that while he was selling drugs, the money that he was earning, selling the drugs, the drugs were actually coming from the CIA, which was using that money to fund the Contra army against the Sandinistas. | ||
That was backed by Reagan, Oliver North... | ||
Yeah, Reagan, all that stuff that was on trial, the Iran-Contra trials, the Oliver North trials. | ||
You know, they say Oliver North might be coming out speaking now. | ||
Really? | ||
That's who you should get on the show. | ||
Really? | ||
Speaking about what? | ||
Is he going to tell the truth about everything? | ||
He's going to come clean. | ||
One of the guys told me that he's doing a documentary and one of the producers was saying that he's interested in having me in his documentary. | ||
Oh my God. | ||
So you already know it. | ||
I'm going to tell him. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, you're going to be in it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
How do you not sit down and tell your story? | ||
That's a fascinating situation. | ||
Yeah, so that would be the last link. | ||
So he was a big part of the organization of the whole thing, right? | ||
Well, he was the guy that dealt with the White House. | ||
It stopped at Oliver North. | ||
Wow. | ||
It didn't go to Bush and Reagan. | ||
Oliver North stopped at him. | ||
I used to have an Ollie North for President t-shirt. | ||
I didn't even know the story. | ||
I was like fucking 16 or something. | ||
I thought he was a bad motherfucker. | ||
I mean, you know, he was trying to save the country. | ||
Yeah. | ||
The idea behind it, though, is fascinating, the way they chose to do it. | ||
It just shows you that that is the most ridiculous conspiracy theory you could ever come up with. | ||
The CIA is selling drugs in the ghetto, and then they're using that money to fund illegal wars. | ||
But you know what's crazy? | ||
How do I keep getting mixed up in these types of situations, right? | ||
I got the craziest rapper in the world. | ||
Right. | ||
You've had an interesting life, my friend. | ||
Take my name. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And then I was involved with Oliver North. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, that is one of the craziest drug stories ever. | ||
And the fact that you got out of it completely unscathed. | ||
I mean, how many dudes are even still alive that you were in business with 20 years ago? | ||
A lot of my friends are dead. | ||
Must be, right? | ||
A lot of friends are dead. | ||
A lot are still in prison with life sentences. | ||
Wow. | ||
One of my goals is to change those laws and bring those guys home because I don't think a guy should do 30 years. | ||
He didn't kill anybody. | ||
Yeah, I agree with you 100%. | ||
And more so, I think that we need to reevaluate what's legal and illegal in this country. | ||
Because we have a corrupt series of politicians that have been bought off and have put a bunch of laws in place and have allowed people to sell all kinds of shit that kills people all the time. | ||
And people voted to make marijuana legal and they still won't. | ||
Yeah, they voted to make it medically legal. | ||
Even the legal, the legality of it statewide in Colorado and Washington State is coming to question federally. | ||
You know, I mean, there's a bunch of gangsters around this country and they're not nice people. | ||
And a lot of the shit they're doing is stupid and it's unnecessary. | ||
And, you know, we want... | ||
We want a government. | ||
We want a police force. | ||
We want a fire department. | ||
We want a president. | ||
We want all that shit. | ||
We just don't want the corruption that comes with it almost inevitably. | ||
And it's unfortunate, but your story is a perfect example of how fucked the whole system is. | ||
The fact that the CIA was absolutely selling drugs. | ||
Right? | ||
I mean, they were selling it through you. | ||
You're the guy. | ||
Well, I can't say that they wasn't actually selling it themselves. | ||
Right. | ||
It was their operatives that were selling it. | ||
So, these guys, they made it very clear, well, this guy wasn't an agent. | ||
We're not working for the CIA. Yeah, he wasn't an agent. | ||
Well, that's how they're making the money. | ||
He was just on our payroll. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Seems a difference, I guess. | ||
You can be on the payroll. | ||
You can get a check from the CIA, but you're not a CIA agent. | ||
Yeah. | ||
He's not CIA. He's just CIA. It's a fucked up world. | ||
I had hoped that when Obama got in that he represented something different. | ||
And maybe he does. | ||
Maybe it's just it's so hard to change that it takes a long fucking time to turn anything around. | ||
It takes a long fucking time to turn anything around. | ||
I want to find out if he's going to do anything for the hood. | ||
Yeah, well, now's the time, right? | ||
He got re-elected. | ||
Exactly. | ||
And they voted him in. | ||
You know, the hood came out. | ||
The hood don't vote, right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
But they came out for Obama. | ||
Yeah, twice. | ||
Yeah. | ||
So, you know, we're hoping that he'll, you know, take this time and do something, put some programs in the hood, you know. | ||
Yeah, and like I said, one-tenth of what's used to blow up other countries could change everything radically. | ||
We could have an incredible nation. | ||
If we started focusing our resources on putting money, I mean, we spend so much money in rehabilitating cities after we invade them. | ||
You know, how much money do we spend in Iraq? | ||
How much money has Halliburton made? | ||
How much money did they make? | ||
What do they do with all the money? | ||
I don't know. | ||
Hookers? | ||
Bullets? | ||
Gasoline? | ||
Yeah. | ||
A lot of shit, man. | ||
Listen, I've got to wrap this up, but thank you very much for coming by again. | ||
And if people want to buy your shirt, where do they buy it one more time? | ||
They can go to FreewaySocialMedia.com. | ||
FreewaySocialMedia.com and follow TheRealRickRoss on Twitter. | ||
It's FreewayRicky. | ||
That's right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
FreewayRicky. | ||
Freewayliteracy.org. | ||
Yeah, that's my non-profit. | ||
I got my non-profit now. | ||
Oh, you have a non-profit. | ||
I'm rolling. | ||
Look at that. | ||
See, that's beautiful. | ||
I'm taking advice, man. | ||
That's beautiful, man. | ||
Freewayliteracy.org. | ||
So that's one more time from the beginning. | ||
It's Freewayliteracy.org. | ||
FreewayRicky on Twitter. | ||
And the other one is? | ||
FreewaySocialMedia.com. | ||
FreewaySocialMedia.com. | ||
Ladies and gentlemen, go support The Real Rick Ross and get yourself a fat t-shirt like this one right here. | ||
It says The Real Rick Ross is not a rapper. | ||
And that's a business that Joe got me into. | ||
I hope you make a trillion dollars off that shit. | ||
All right. | ||
Thank you very much, everybody. | ||
Thanks to Onnit for sponsoring this podcast. | ||
Go to O-N-N-I-T. Use the code name ROGAN. Save yourself 10% off. | ||
Brian and I, along with Joey Coco Diaz, will be in West Palm Beach, Florida this weekend. | ||
And the shit's going to be epic. | ||
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It's Friday. | |
Damn, can I go? | ||
And Saturday night. | ||
Can I go? | ||
You've got to fly all the way over there, man. | ||
Florida. | ||
But yeah, any show I'm at, man, you're more than welcome. | ||
So it's Joey Diaz, me, and Brian. | ||
A couple of shows are almost sold out, so we'll be there Friday and Saturday. | ||
And next week, no podcast, so go fuck yourself. | ||
We'll see you soon. | ||
We love you. |