Dec. 27, 2012 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:51:41
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| We are live, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| But you knew that. | ||
| You can hear us. | ||
| We need to come up with a better way to start these fucking things. | ||
| We have to have like, we are live. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think that's like trademarked shit. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| We'd have to pay buffer. | ||
| It's like some serious cash. | ||
| What if we did it backwards? | ||
| Live. | ||
|
unidentified
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We are. | |
| Then we would have to owe Yoda money. | ||
| We're fucked if we do, fucked if we don't. | ||
| The Joe Rogan Experience podcast is brought to you by Kerosene Games. | ||
| Kerosene Games is one of our newest sponsors. | ||
| And one of the things that me and Brian sort of committed to when we started doing this podcast was to make sure that we didn't ever get advertised by anybody that we don't believe in. | ||
| Don't just take someone's money if you think their product is dog shit or if you would never use it yourself. | ||
| And so when we add somebody like Kerosene Games, it's kind of a big deal for us. | ||
| They just seem like a really cool company. | ||
| First of all, they're trying to make really badass games for iPhones and iPads. | ||
| And they're coming out with Android devices most likely in January, possibly in February. | ||
| So those nice, like, which could be really incredible, like those Galaxy S3s or those Samsung Galaxy Note 2, those huge ones. | ||
| You could play the games on them. | ||
| And they're really badass. | ||
| And they're designed specifically for these sort of touchscreen devices, very intuitive controls, which is a lot better than a game that you would get that's like made to a PC first, but then sort of ported over. | ||
| So these, it's just a much better way to do it. | ||
| And Kerosene Games is concentrating on doing just that. | ||
| And they're super like high quality. | ||
| It's beautiful looking. | ||
| It's really fun. | ||
| The first game is called Bladeslinger. | ||
| It's like some dude who's a bionic cowboy character. | ||
| He returns from years at war. | ||
| You're just kicking ass, okay? | ||
| That's basically what it is. | ||
| fucking with this ridiculous storyline. | ||
| The storyline's all written, but... | ||
| Now, I wouldn't do it with my dad or my stepdad, maybe my dad, but like, you can gift apps if you go to the app store. | ||
| You can just send it. | ||
| Like, if you have a cousin that just got an iPad and he wants a game, right now the game's fucking 99 cents and it's a good game. | ||
| And guess what? | ||
| Your cousin will freak out if it's his first iPad or his new iPad. | ||
| It's 99 cents until the 29th of December. | ||
| And then I believe it's going to go back. | ||
| It's only $2.99 after that. | ||
| Which is crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| But it is, you're right. | ||
| It's 99 cents right now. | ||
| It's a badass game. | ||
| It's really cool. | ||
| It's fun to play. | ||
| It looks badass. | ||
| And if you're really into video games for the iPads, it's an interesting time because they're starting to make really cool high-end games. | ||
| The video graphics, the graphics processing power of those things is really amazing. | ||
| That's how you can watch these DVDs on it and full high-resolution movies. | ||
| The technology that they have today is awesome. | ||
| And it allows you to have a game like Bladeslinger. | ||
| So right now, till December 29th, it's 99 cents. | ||
| Go check it out, you dirty fucks. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| All right. | ||
| Take a bath. | ||
| Go get your shit together, all of you. | ||
| We are also brought to you by Onit.com. | ||
| That's O-N-N-I-T. | ||
| And what Onit is, we don't have a name for what kind of company this is, because what we're trying to do is we're just trying to sell you all things badass. | ||
| Anything that's good for you, anything that's healthy, anything that promotes cognitive function or athletic performance or anything that can enhance your fitness, anything that's good for your body. | ||
| That's what we're trying to do. | ||
| We're just trying to get you the best health, nutrition, and supplements that are available. | ||
| We're trying to find you the best shit and sell it. | ||
| Anytime I find out about anything cool, whether it's this Keith Weber kettlebell DVD that we're selling now, we just start selling it. | ||
| Like, why wouldn't we fucking sell it? | ||
| If it's badass, sell it. | ||
| That's how we feel about these blend tech blenders and kettlebells and battle ropes and everything. | ||
| GreastFed is all somebody told me today you could put coffee beans in a blend tech blender and like grind it up, you know, if you don't have a, no, if you don't have a coffee grinder. | ||
| And so I put a whole bag of coffee in there. | ||
| What did it do? | ||
| It caught on fire, man. | ||
| It's dangerous. | ||
| And it took me like an hour to get that shit out of there. | ||
| It becomes, it was psychological. | ||
| Was it really flamed? | ||
| It turned off as a smoke. | ||
| No, it's like, oh, damn, that shit's fucking crazy. | ||
| It's like, it must be all the bean dust or something. | ||
| And then it just started, it seriously got so hot that I felt it and I was like, oh, no, there's a fire starting in there. | ||
| And I turned it off. | ||
| Yeah, like, that's kind of an interesting thought. | ||
| Like, you're not supposed to blend everything, right? | ||
| No, I don't think, like, maybe iPads aren't a great idea. | ||
| They blend iPhones. | ||
| Have you seen those blend tech ads? | ||
| I mean, they turn an iPhone into dust. | ||
| How come it can do that, but it can't do coffee? | ||
| That's strange. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It smelled up the whole house. | ||
| Not in a good coffee. | ||
| I mean, it had to be a friction thing. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It's just the blades. | ||
| The blades go so fast. | ||
| The bean smoke. | ||
| Yeah, if you want to start a fire and you're a caveman and you had a blend tech blender, that's what you would do. | ||
| It's awesome for celery, though, I'll tell you that. | ||
| It fucks celery up. | ||
| Celery and kale and cucumbers. | ||
| You know, because it has water in it. | ||
| It has to fuck shit up. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| It's really what it is, is like a ridiculously powered blender. | ||
| I mean, it's ridiculous. | ||
| And it has like little cycles it goes on. | ||
| You know, like when I make that bulletproof coffee, my kids run out of the room because they're scared of the noise. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Because it's like, it's scary. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You should probably have like a big shield in front of you. | ||
| Yeah, or a muff for it. | ||
| Like, imagine having like your neighbors, if you live in an apartment complex and you have a blend type blender, you're doing kale all day long, they probably fucking hate you. | ||
| Yeah, if you're one of those 6 a.m. fitness douchebags, wants to get up, show everybody how badass you are by running at 6 a.m. | ||
| Guess what, dummy? | ||
| You can run at noon too. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Get your sleep in. | ||
| It's not always good. | ||
| It's not always good to get up at 6 a.m. | ||
| Anyway, don't blend coffee beans or do blend coffee beans and don't say you listen to this podcast. | ||
| Your choice. | ||
| Either way, on it, what else do we have that's new? | ||
| I think I've said everything. | ||
| Are you out of old? | ||
| Oh, no, that's not this week. | ||
| Oh, the buffalo bars. | ||
| That's another thing that we started carrying. | ||
| We started carrying these natural buffalo jerky bars. | ||
| They're fucking badass. | ||
| We have one. | ||
| I got one right here. | ||
| But they're made like this ancient Indian way with cranberries and shit. | ||
| Oh, and we also have killer bee honey. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because it sounds gangster as fuck. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Even if it's not even quite as good as regular honey, you still ganked it from some fucking killer bees. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Onit.com. | ||
| Use a code name. | ||
| Rogan. | ||
| That's R-O-G-A-N. | ||
| Use that code name. | ||
| Rogan? | ||
| No, just me. | ||
| Use the code name Rogan and save yourself 10% off any supplements. | ||
| Any of that delicious hemp force. | ||
| Any of that super nutritious alpha brain. | ||
|
unidentified
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All of it. | |
| Use a code name Rogan. | ||
| All right, Brian. | ||
| Hit the music before this gets ugly. | ||
|
unidentified
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The Joe Rogan experience. | |
| Train by day, Joe Relicant Podcast by night, all day. | ||
| I. Are you okay, bro? | ||
| There's a strange, strange feeling in the room, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck is going on. | ||
| But I do know that Matt, how do I pronounce it? | ||
| Ven Grin. | ||
| That's Ven. | ||
| Ven Grin. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| It's a tricky one. | ||
| And props to you for not changing it. | ||
| Well, thank you. | ||
| A lot of people would have bailed. | ||
| It's been pronounced wrong many times. | ||
| Yeah, it's funny, but parents from other countries with very unusual last names like Schwarzenegger, the amount of pressure they must have to change their name into something that the American people can pronounce are sloppy ass bitches. | ||
| I would say so. | ||
| The worst is virgin. | ||
| I've heard virgin many times. | ||
| Insulting. | ||
| When you were a virgin, was that painful? | ||
| It felt bad. | ||
| Matt is a professional poker player, and you're a friend of our friend Aubrey's and Alpha Brain enthusiast. | ||
| And I guess you apparently he said that you help fighters sometimes with their mental game planning? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I have two fighters right now, Martin Cammon and Kung Li that I've worked with. | ||
| So I basically just focus on getting them present mentally before their fights. | ||
| Sorry, go ahead. | ||
| Yeah, no, please go. | ||
| Because poker is basically 95% mental. | ||
| So I've found ways to prepare myself. | ||
| And I think it helps with MMA because it's pure competition. | ||
| And if you're not there mentally, it doesn't matter how good you are. | ||
| You can get caught real easy if you're not paying attention. | ||
| Yeah, that's a subtle aspect to fighting that I think a lot of people aren't aware of. | ||
| The fact that a guy can look exactly the same and be moving around, but he could have lapses. | ||
| There's mental lapses that happen. | ||
| And some guys, those mental lapses sort of define their careers because they have a lot of talent, but for whatever reason, they can never put it together. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, if you get caught with one submission, just one second off, you could be out. | ||
| You could be tapping. | ||
| And it's the same thing with poker. | ||
| That's why I saw that both were kind of correlated, and I wanted to do something new and different that hasn't really been done. | ||
| How did you get brought in on this? | ||
| On which the coaching? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, one day I was, I actually was watching a Martin fight and I saw a lapse in his eyes where he was kind of looking one way and then he was kind of lackadaisical for a minute and he got put away. | ||
| And I was like, I saw him. | ||
| After Paul Thiago, I think. | ||
| It was Paul Tiago. | ||
| He had a loss. | ||
| It was his first loss out of his three that he had. | ||
| He had three, and then he had two wins. | ||
| Do you know which one that was? | ||
| I don't really remember. | ||
| I'll look it up. | ||
| Okay, yeah. | ||
| Well, anyway. | ||
| Yeah, I saw him kind of like get out of the moment. | ||
| I saw men. | ||
| I saw, like, I can see it in people's eyes usually, because playing poker, you can kind of see that. | ||
| And so I contacted him on Facebook, and we met about three months later, and I said, hey, I want to do this. | ||
| I've never done it. | ||
| Would you like to be the first? | ||
| And he said, sure. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| Now, when you brought up that you saw that to him, did he resist it? | ||
| Did he agree with you? | ||
| Because a lot of times this is a hard issue for fighters. | ||
| They're very emotionally attached to their work. | ||
| And so if you'll say, hey, man, you got to be careful with the way you keep your chin. | ||
| Like, you're going to get hit. | ||
| Like, you have to do something about that. | ||
| And if you say that, like, they'll get angry at you. | ||
| And it's almost like they want to keep their chin up to show that you're wrong. | ||
| That's just their ego. | ||
| It is a weird thing, though, with fighters. | ||
| It is. | ||
| So when you, a guy who is a professional poker player, a non-fighter, goes as far as to say that you saw the actual moment where a guy like Martin Campman, who's a fucking professional killer, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| I mean, Martin Cam is a bad motherfucker. | ||
| He is. | ||
| So for you to bring that up and for him to accept it, first of all, it shows that he's a smart dude. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| He's a very aware guy, and that's why he's so good. | ||
| He's been very open. | ||
| He's able to step outside of himself and learn things that most people wouldn't consider learning. | ||
| And I think that's really important for growth as a fighter or mentally, whatever you want to call it. | ||
| Well, he got caught by Johnny Hendrix in his last fight. | ||
| But you know what, man? | ||
| First of all, that guy can catch anybody like that. | ||
| We didn't work together his last fight. | ||
| We worked for his three-win streak. | ||
| We worked together and we actually kind of had a disagreement on pricing, so we didn't work together the last fight. | ||
| Dude, that's a terrible thing to happen. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| You guys had a disagreement over money? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You shouldn't say that. | ||
| We shouldn't talk about what it actually was. | ||
| It was just a disagreement. | ||
| Not fair to Mr. Cantman. | ||
|
unidentified
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Sure. | |
| No, he's agreeing. | ||
| But that sucks. | ||
| Any sexual tension? | ||
| No, Martin's a stud. | ||
| What can I say? | ||
| He just gives in. | ||
| He just gives in to the feeling. | ||
| I just let it go. | ||
| Don't stop believing. | ||
| Yeah, Campman, I'm a big fan of that dude. | ||
| I love that fight with Tiago Silva, where he was losing the fight, and Thiago shoots for that takedown. | ||
| He gets that nasty guillotine, locks it in. | ||
| That's one thing about Campman. | ||
| He's a kada kid. | ||
| Yeah, he's very, very tough. | ||
| Just very tough. | ||
| And people sleep on his technique. | ||
| Like, his jiu-jitsu is nasty. | ||
| His jiu-jitsu is just as good as his striking. | ||
| It's underrated, yeah. | ||
| And his wrestling sleep. | ||
| Yeah, his takedown defense is excellent. | ||
| But like when he fought the dude out of the militich camp, I'm blanking on his name real quick. | ||
| I'll find it in a second. | ||
| But The dude has some serious, serious knockout power. | ||
| And he took him down and submitted him. | ||
| This is Drew McFedry's. | ||
| And this is back when he was fighting at 185. | ||
| Drew McFedries can bang. | ||
| Yeah, he's got a big guy. | ||
| He's got scary power. | ||
| He's got serious, serious power. | ||
| He never, for whatever reason, never completely put it together. | ||
| Had some good wins, but never completely could have put it together. | ||
| But Cantman caught him in an arm triangle and put him to sleep. | ||
| And that was when Campbell was fighting at 185, you know? | ||
| He's not even a big 170. | ||
| No, he's not. | ||
| He doesn't cut much. | ||
| No. | ||
| I mean, you can tell. | ||
| I mean, those guys, like the really big guys that get down to 170, and you stand next to him, you're like, what the fuck? | ||
| Yeah, it's like. | ||
| Like Damian Maya. | ||
| Dude, Damian Maya's giganti. | ||
| That guy's really big. | ||
| Yes, it doesn't even look like it's the same weight class sometimes. | ||
| I'm just like, whoa, what's going on here? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Like Tiago Alvez. | ||
| Tiago Alvez. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| He is the brick shithouse. | ||
| And the dude gets all the way down to 170, and you're like, wow. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| There's a couple of those ATT guys. | ||
| There's a guy named Glason, Glason T-Bow. | ||
| Yeah, he's another one. | ||
| This guy, I am not kidding you, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| He looks like he weighs 200 pounds and he's fighting at 155. | ||
| He's so fucking big. | ||
| I mean, he might get as high as like 180 come fight time. | ||
| And then when you're 180 and you're swollen up with blood, like when you're pumped because you're in like a brutal fight and you look at him sometimes, you go, how the fuck is that guy 155? | ||
| How is that even possible? | ||
| It's mind-boggling to me at least. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a weird aspect of the sport of MMA. | ||
| Did you mentally coach him on that as well? | ||
| Like the weight cutting? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| He hardly cuts it. | ||
| No, see, you were talking earlier about, you know, it's hard to tell a fighter as a killer what to do. | ||
| But I try to separate the two completely because I'm a big MMA fan. | ||
| I've watched like every UFC for probably four years. | ||
| And I can't, like, as much as I want to chime in about technique or whatever, I know that, you know, that's just not my field of expertise. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| So I try to keep it separate. | ||
| So you're just concentrating on them having a winning mindset? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Cultivating a winning mindset. | ||
| Everything on their mind, I want to get off their mind. | ||
| I want them to just deal with anything that they might be thinking about, whether it be what's my next. | ||
| I want them to stay present. | ||
| I don't want them to think too much about the past or the future. | ||
| I want them to just be right there for that. | ||
| And that's the only thing that matters. | ||
| That's my goal. | ||
| And how do you address what they normally think about? | ||
| Sometimes a big one I've always seen with fighters, one of the worst is girlfriend problems. | ||
| When fighters have girlfriend problems, man, when shit goes bad, that can signify a huge skid in their career. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Well, you know, both of the fighters are happily married, so that's not an issue for me. | ||
| But how I would probably tackle it, you know, it's hard to get that stuff off your head. | ||
| You know, you can feel like that's taking over, you know, when you break up with someone. | ||
| It just feels like you can't get away from that, you know? | ||
| And most of the time, it's just because you've never faced it. | ||
| You've never really faced it down. | ||
| You kind of just push it aside and put it in the back of your mind. | ||
| But the way to really do it is just address it. | ||
| You know, go back to exactly what happened and just deal with it, you know, as a man. | ||
| And new pussy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's also very important. | ||
| You cannot try to like, you know what? | ||
| I'm just going to get my own shit together. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| Go get laid. | ||
| What are you crazy? | ||
| Okay, I'm not saying go fall in love, but go get your freak on. | ||
| Best medicine ever. | ||
| Yeah, with someone who would also like to get their freak on with you, okay? | ||
| Mutually beneficial. | ||
| That needs to be recognized that it is mutually beneficial, and that's the only reason why it's any good. | ||
| We don't understand their point of view, and they don't understand our point of view. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| And just like medicine, pussy you can die from if you take it with the wrong things. | ||
| Yes, you could definitely die. | ||
| Or just ruin your life and wish you were dead. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's sometimes worse. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sometimes worse. | ||
| Sometimes pussy is worse than suicide. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| It's like the red dye and the jelly bean. | ||
| Yeah, we all know that one dude who just can't keep it together when it comes to girls. | ||
| You know, the guys that are like chicks dominate their life and yell at them and tell them what to do. | ||
| It's a spooky thing when you see that kind of shit happen. | ||
| Well, it becomes really real for them, right? | ||
| I mean, like, I try to think of it as like, it's not that serious, really. | ||
| In the scheme of things, it's not really that serious. | ||
| It is to them in that moment. | ||
| In that moment, it is. | ||
| They have separation anxiety. | ||
| And it's just as bad, of course, for women that are involved with crazy, fucked up men, too, that are trying to dominate your life. | ||
| Probably even more worse because it's scary physically. | ||
| Like, the threat of physical violence is much more prevalent. | ||
| Especially if they try to tell you what to do with your life and their life is kind of in shambles. | ||
| Like, a lot of people want to give advice, you know, when they don't have their shit together. | ||
| Yeah, this is hilarious, but this is related on Twitter today. | ||
| Some dude sent me some thing on Twitter, like some douchey comment about how I need to behave. | ||
| And so I was like, you know, that I need to take a dose of my own medicine or something like that. | ||
| One of those sort of things. | ||
| So I go and look at his Twitter profile real quick. | ||
| And his last tweet was about how he was depressed coming off of a Coke binge. | ||
| And I'm like, do you think that you should be giving advice to someone about how they should think? | ||
| Where 30 seconds ago you were talking about coming off of a Coke binge? | ||
| Come off your Coke binge first. | ||
| Then maybe you can say something. | ||
| Yeah, that doesn't seem like the type of person should be giving that advice. | ||
| I found out that liquid Coke is, you know how the liquid Coke they're using? | ||
| That they're also using it because girls could put it in them and squirt it in their pussies before sex and their buttholes. | ||
| And it numbs it down so you can just go to town on it. | ||
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| And if you put it in your dick hole, it feels like you have the biggest dick hole in the whole entire road. | ||
| Like the whole bone is just going to slide out like a hot dog. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh man, that sounds terrible. | |
| You just gave people an idea. | ||
| Could you imagine getting so fucked up with regular sex? | ||
| Do you want to shoot Coke in your dick? | ||
| Like, yeah, regular sex just not do it for me anymore, man. | ||
| But I found the tubes up my ass. | ||
| The hardest part is getting that first part, like stretching your whole, like to fit the whole nose thing of the nose spray. | ||
| Is that what you would use, a nasal spray? | ||
| Yeah, nasal spray. | ||
| And I guess it's saline salutin, so it's used for your eyes, so your dick cries all the time, so it's fine. | ||
| But then eventually their pussy and asshole is going to stop being numb, and then they're going to be in horrible pain. | ||
| They're probably going to have infections and shit. | ||
| That's all I would be thinking about while we're doing it. | ||
| I'd be like, she can't even feel this. | ||
| Well, Joey Diaz says it just cleans it right out. | ||
| Joey Diaz says that. | ||
| First of all, Joey Diaz is not even a human. | ||
| What are you saying? | ||
| Like the laws that apply to normal humans. | ||
| Just think about what Joey has done, and here he is, fine, healthy, still alive, and made a baby recently. | ||
| Now, stop and think about the average human being, if they had to go through Joey Diaz's life. | ||
| If you had to go through Joey Diaz's life and take all the drugs that he took, find yourself in all the situations you find, good luck reaching 50. | ||
| Good luck reaching where Joey is. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| So he's not even human. | ||
| If you gave Joey Diaz's life to 100 people, 99 would be dead. | ||
| That's a fact. | ||
| What if Joey Diaz was a robot and when he goes home, his whole body opens up and the smaller little Jewish guy comes out and goes, hey, how's it going? | ||
| I got a baby. | ||
| That's why his stomach is so hard. | ||
| Because his stomach is like a knee. | ||
| you touch Joey's stomach. | ||
| You hug them and they're really big. | ||
| They just give into you. | ||
| Joey Diaz, you run into him and it's like thump. | ||
| Are you saying it feels like you're sitting on a really hard rock? | ||
| I'm saying if he's on one side of the plane, you should sit on the other to balance that bitch out. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Joey Diaz is a solid dude. | ||
| He's not just fat. | ||
| He's a solid guy. | ||
| And his head is gigantic. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yes. | |
| Which is a problem. | ||
| You try to lose some weight. | ||
| That's a weird thing with dudes. | ||
| My friend Justin, a giant dude. | ||
| And I looked at the size of his head. | ||
| I'm like, that is also a giant head. | ||
| Like, if that was on a normal person's body. | ||
| Like, when you get really big, if you get like, you know, certain dudes, they get like incredibly obese. | ||
| Well, everything grows. | ||
| And then when they bring their body in, when they lose the weight, it looks very strange. | ||
| It's like, what's going on? | ||
| Like, why is his head so big? | ||
| Like, what's it because I'm used to this giant body and it's just unusual for me? | ||
| Or what's going on here? | ||
| That's a sad thing, though, when you see someone who's lost their marble so bad that they eat themselves into oblivion. | ||
| When you read about people that get stuck in trailers and they've got to cut a hole through the wall to pull their couch out and they're like embedded into the couch, it's fucked to know that people can go that far off the rails. | ||
| Do you ever watch Dr. Oz? | ||
| I've watched it before. | ||
| What do you think about him? | ||
| He's not that bad, right? | ||
| He's pretty interesting. | ||
| He seems like he's pretty legit. | ||
| He seems like a nice guy. | ||
| It doesn't seem like he's a bad guy. | ||
| As long as they're not super judgmental and tough guyy, like Dr. Phil is on occasion. | ||
| I don't like that attitude. | ||
| Like if you really want to help people, you need to get your act together. | ||
| That's not how you help people, stupid. | ||
| You know, that's nonsense. | ||
| You're doing berating them on television. | ||
| But he doesn't seem like that kind of a doctor. | ||
| So yeah, he's a medical doctor, an actual real doctor, right? | ||
| I was just watching Dr. Oz. | ||
| I've never seen it before. | ||
| It got really baked. | ||
| And he has this thing like, you know, everyone, three out of four people are super tired. | ||
| And it's because they don't have enough of this one medicine or nutrient or whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| And they brought up these three women. | ||
| This woman was, he's like, I can fix all your shit using this one thing that you have to take every day, multiple times a day. | ||
| And they're like, well, it's because I have four kids and I have to wake up every morning at six and do this and this and this. | ||
| And it's a vitamin. | ||
| It's magnesium. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And on it should get on top of magnesium because he said the thing is that you don't have it in daily multi-vitamins because it would be so big of a pill because you have to take it all day long. | ||
| So you have to get out of food. | ||
| And there's like certain food like bananas, spinach, quinoa, and all that stuff that has a high amount of it in it. | ||
| But if you don't have any of that, you're just running on empty and your body has to like freak out. | ||
| And that's when you get irritable. | ||
| That's when you're just like tired and fatigued all the time. | ||
| And I don't know if there's a way to have magnesium every day easy, but it seems like that's a big thing. | ||
| Yeah, I take it at night. | ||
| I take a ZMA. | ||
| That's the stuff that Victor Conte got. | ||
| Also says, is a natural testosterone booster? | ||
| One of the most effective ones. | ||
| I take that every night. | ||
| I take it every night, too. | ||
| And he sent me a case. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| I didn't take it last night, so I'm lying. | ||
| I can't say every night. | ||
| And it's great if you're sick. | ||
| Sometimes I forget. | ||
| And it's great if you're sick. | ||
| And some of the ZMAs have, you know, tryptophan or not tryptophan, something else. | ||
| L-tryptophan is that it's possible that they could have that in there. | ||
| You know, everybody makes their own little nutritional supplement sort of concoctions. | ||
| But yeah, zinc is also, it's like, it's a healthy mineral. | ||
| You know, it's like your body should have it anyway. | ||
| You know, we should, there's a lot of shit that we should take, man, that we don't take. | ||
| Most people just like barely get the amount of required daily vitamins in their diet. | ||
| And most people are not taking vitamin supplements. | ||
| And most people are not eating that much vegetables either. | ||
| I'm like, man, you are rolling the fucking dice with your body. | ||
| You know, you got to give your body nutrients. | ||
| If you don't give your body nutrients, it just fucking misfires. | ||
| And why intelligent people neglect that, to me, it drives me nuts. | ||
| Because you can do both. | ||
| You've seen me eat. | ||
| I eat shit. | ||
| I'll eat shit. | ||
| I'll eat cheeseburgers. | ||
| I'll go off. | ||
| But I also supplement the fuck out of everything. | ||
| I make sure I'm always taking vitamins. | ||
| And for the most part, when I'm not eating a fucking pastrami sandwich, I will eat like really healthy. | ||
| So I'll allow myself these like french fry binges and shit. | ||
| But for the most part, I'm eating really healthy. | ||
| But if you're really stone watching Dr. Oz, you're like, okay, this woman says she eats healthy as heck. | ||
| She has the greatest diet ever. | ||
| She's just tired all the time. | ||
| And the other girl is like, no, I have 15 kids. | ||
| I eat normal. | ||
| Like, I probably have enough magnesium. | ||
| It's probably not magnesium. | ||
| I'm not like a 25-year-old crack addict, you know? | ||
| And he just blew it off, like, you know, all right. | ||
| See, magnesium was the secret. | ||
| And then he moves on to this next girl. | ||
| She's like, I can't poop. | ||
| I try everything. | ||
| I try yogurts. | ||
| I try fruit and stuff like that. | ||
| And he goes, well, you need to try live culture yogurt and raspberries. | ||
| And she's just like, I just said I've tried yogurt and fruits and stuff like that. | ||
| And it was just like, move on. | ||
| I'm Dr. Oz. | ||
| Go to Dr. Cal. | ||
| And it's just a bunch of little fails. | ||
| Like, he has good advice. | ||
| But the show's just a bunch of little fails over and over again. | ||
| I highly recommend watching Dr. Oz Superstone. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| I wonder if there's like a collection of Dr. Oz's fails that are online. | ||
| That sounds a little bit more. | ||
| And it's not like half the time it's the people even say anything. | ||
| You can just tell by their faces. | ||
| They're like, I just told you fruit and, you know. | ||
| I think I got something wrong. | ||
| There could be something really wrong with you. | ||
| some people they have to do poop transplants. | ||
| Have you heard of this? | ||
| Where you take my poop and put it in your butt? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wait, wait, wait. | ||
| Forever. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Back and forth. | ||
| I'm not joking. | ||
| I wonder if whether they do it between family members? | ||
| That's a really interesting question. | ||
| But it is true. | ||
| It really is true. | ||
| They do fecal transplants. | ||
| What do they think of next? | ||
| I think it fucking saves people's lives, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Science is a motherfucker, isn't it? | ||
| They're always coming up with some incredible shit that just makes you go, how did this even happen? | ||
| Well, I always find it interesting to look back and be like, oh, well, 20 years ago or whatever, a long time ago, lobotomies were considered normal, right? | ||
| Like how it changes, how science changes. | ||
| Like, oh, our bad. | ||
| Yeah, that's not good. | ||
| We can't really do that anymore. | ||
| I would like to think that we're way past that. | ||
| I would like to think that we're way past the lobotomy stage. | ||
| I would like to think that they pretty much know exactly what everything does as far as what the negative health benefit or repercussions are. | ||
| But then you see pharmaceutical drugs and you find out that's not really the case. | ||
| You see every week some new thing gets fucking yanked off the shelves for all kinds of. | ||
| I mean, they do a lot of good, though, too. | ||
| I mean, there's a lot of people that are alive because of pharmaceutical drugs. | ||
| There's a lot of people that have illnesses and it literally keeps them alive. | ||
| I had back surgery a couple years ago and the pain pills they have are amazing. | ||
| Oh shit, tell me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, after I healed up, I got off them, but like before that. | |
| Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Actually, no, I tried to get off him. | ||
| Here's what happened. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I tried to quit cold turkey and I got physically ill. | |
| Like my whole body just felt like I wanted to die. | ||
| And I was like, oh, I was like, all right, I better wean myself off instead. | ||
| So I just did like two and then one and then half. | ||
| What specifically were you taking? | ||
| Hydrocodone, I think it was. | ||
| Hydrocodone. | ||
| Is that the same as oxycontin? | ||
| Or, oh, sorry, oxycodone is what it's called. | ||
| And maybe, it sounds kind of similar. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I'm not a doctor. | ||
| Yeah, those, it's an opiate-based. | ||
| Yeah, opiate-based, yeah. | ||
| But that will mess your body. | ||
| Like, I can understand why people get addicted. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because, like I said, I tried to get off and it just, my whole body was like wanting to die. | ||
| It felt like. | ||
| So it just, you, you, it gets attached to your skin. | ||
| Yeah, basically. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Kind of like, you know, that Spider-Man villain? | ||
| What was that? | ||
| The black venom, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sort of like that. | ||
| Like, it just kind of on you. | ||
| Isn't it crazy that they just trust that people are going to have the willpower to get through those? | ||
| I mean, it is crazy. | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's nuts that they're allowing people to become junkies. | ||
| Like, literally anything like that that can get a normal It's a mental issue. | ||
| Personality, yeah. | ||
| It's a mental issue. | ||
| But there's a physical addiction is a completely different story. | ||
| You're not talking about some weird thing like washing your hands or playing poker. | ||
| You're talking about something crazy where you've gotten your body physically addicted. | ||
| Like it needs this for its new system. | ||
| This is the system. | ||
| The system has heroin in it. | ||
| It's heroin in it. | ||
| It's like you have some business chick who's a clip who's got a clipboard in her hand and she's like leading on a tour through your body. | ||
| We started incorporated heroin three years ago. | ||
| Without it, we die. | ||
| So this is where the heroin comes in. | ||
| These are holes. | ||
| See this? | ||
| This is called gangrene. | ||
| This is what happens when you don't tend to your holes. | ||
| You get someone hooked on something like that. | ||
| It's so hard for them to stop. | ||
| It's why it's the most evil thing in the world to be selling things like that, knowing that you don't have to. | ||
| Knowing that there must be alternatives. | ||
| I understand there's some people that are in intense pain, especially people that are about to die, and maybe it'd be good for that. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| But for the most part, most people don't need it. | ||
| Shouldn't give them that. | ||
| They don't need it. | ||
| No, most people don't eat it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So how did you injure your back? | ||
| It was like a genetic thing. | ||
| Basically, like I had a polynidal cyst on my tailbone, so I had to get it like a 12-inch portion of my back taken out. | ||
| It sucked. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's all healed now, but it was terrible for like six months. | ||
| So you were a foot taller than you are now? | ||
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
| I was actually eight feet and six inches. | ||
| I haven't seen it with you in three years, and you're like a foot shorter. | ||
| Yeah, they wouldn't let me play in the NBA anymore. | ||
| So is this how you got involved with mind over body type shit in the first place? | ||
| Because you wear that whole John Sarno type thing. | ||
| No. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| John Sarno's this guy. | ||
| Oh, the doctor that believes there's a mind-body connection with back injuries and shit like that. | ||
| Have you ever heard of that? | ||
| Yes, I have that. | ||
| Now I remember. | ||
| What do you believe? | ||
| I believe it. | ||
| You do? | ||
| I believe it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think I feel like I didn't have much support back then. | ||
| And I think that's what the back is. | ||
| It's support in your life. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So for me, it's real. | ||
| I mean, I don't know. | ||
| That's how I feel at least. | ||
| So you have this injury. | ||
| You have it repaired. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And how long did it take before you were like 100% after that? | ||
| It was like five months of basically nothingness. | ||
| I'll be asking you all these questions because I just discovered recently I have a bulging disc. | ||
| So I have a bulging disc in my back. | ||
| It's not bad. | ||
| It's hot. | ||
| It sounds hot. | ||
| It's not really bad. | ||
| Like I can still do, I can do kickboxing, no problem. | ||
| I do all these strength and conditioning exercises, no problem. | ||
| My problem only comes when I do jiu-jitsu and I get my head yanked on. | ||
| Yeah, I was going to say, when you're defending from something, it's because it's in like the middle of my back. | ||
| And it's, I also found out that my posture is dog shit. | ||
| Most people's already. | ||
| So I'm trying to sit up straight. | ||
| It's like I sit like this all the time. | ||
| And apparently that's bad. | ||
| I'm the exact same way. | ||
| And I feel like I don't like doing this because it feels like I'm just putting out my boobs to all the boys. | ||
| I'm trying to look sexy. | ||
| Yeah, especially I'm trying to look less douchey. | ||
| Not more douchey. | ||
| This makes me look more douchey, like sitting straight up. | ||
| Like I can be more chill like this. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| But this is like way better for your body to sit straight. | ||
| But then someone said this is John Sarno book and then I should read it. | ||
| So I shouldn't really shouldn't comment until I read it. | ||
| But I'm not in pain like all the time. | ||
| It's a weird thing to try to describe to people. | ||
| Because it's like saying, well, it only hurts when I do jiu-jitsu. | ||
| They just say, don't do jiu-jitsu. | ||
| I know exactly what you're saying. | ||
| But Don't do jiu-jitsu is not really that much of an option for me. | ||
| It's been annoying that I haven't been able to do it regularly for the past five months while this thing's been healing up. | ||
| So I'm trying all sorts of different ways. | ||
| But I know it's a real injury. | ||
| Like, that's the weird thing. | ||
| Like, when someone says it's like, you know, it's in your mind, man. | ||
| Well, it may manifest itself. | ||
| Yeah, I think it's like it may manifest itself if you're thinking about it or you have issues in that area. | ||
| But who knows? | ||
| I mean, that sounds really smart, though, because it manifested itself defending a triangle. | ||
| Like, if a guy was trying to fucking tap me, and I'm trying to get out, and I'm using my back and muscles. | ||
| That's where it manifested itself. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| I'm not like being defensive, and there's John Sarno fans will jump in right now and go, come on, man, you're not even giving a fucking chance. | ||
| You said that you didn't even. | ||
| I will read the book, and I will read the book with a 100% open mind. | ||
| But you can't tell me that that injury happened because of my mind or that there's pain because of my mind, because I'm not really like a weirdo. | ||
| And I'm not buying that shit, all right? | ||
| I don't have this like self-hating thing going on. | ||
| I don't have any tension as far as my life goes that I'm carrying in my back. | ||
| No, I tried to get out of something and I hurt my back. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Like, this is like tissue, and it tears. | ||
| So that's where, like, scientists go fucking bananas. | ||
| And a lot of medical doctors that replace discs, they go bananas when they hear this shit. | ||
| Like, listen, bitch, you got bone on bone. | ||
| You don't have a disc anymore. | ||
| You're gonna be in pain, period. | ||
| Like, no matter what this guy says in his wacky book, if you have, like, a real physical injury. | ||
| Yeah, back injuries are tricky, man. | ||
| They're the worst, I think, because it's like... | ||
| And your body is just one physical manifestation of you creating your own life, which I'm not willing to argue with. | ||
| It may be very well the case. | ||
| But if you want to carry the logic of thinking that your mind controls pain and actual injuries aren't real or are created by your own mind, well, you got to carry that all the way, bitch. | ||
| You got to take that all the way and say the universe is something that you're creating in your own mind. | ||
| Because you're talking about physical reality being manifested by the imagination and your intent. | ||
| Okay, well, just because it's your body doesn't mean it's any less crazy voodoo talk. | ||
| That's still crazy voodoo talk. | ||
| And I'm not saying it's wrong, but I'm saying if you believe that, you really should take it to the utmost and say, well, we're living in a fucking dream. | ||
| Okay, life is your imagination manifested in some sort of a representation of a true form, but there is no true form behind it. | ||
| We're getting deep. | ||
| Well, that's the only way you can fucking tell me that your emotions and your mind is why you have a back pain. | ||
| Like, maybe you got hit by a car, bitch. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| You know, that's all possible too. | ||
| Like, this idea that this physical manifestation is because of your intent and because of your mind, because of your emotions. | ||
| If that is even at all possible, then you've got to take that all the way. | ||
| That means your physical intent is probably controlling everything. | ||
| It's probably not just controlling your body. | ||
| It's probably controlling your environment as well. | ||
| If it's controlling your environment, how much of everything outside of it is real? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| It's a great question. | ||
| I mean, I put this online, and a lot of people gave me a lot of really good advice. | ||
| So I wanted to thank them, especially dudes on the underground. | ||
| Gave me a lot of mixedmartial arts.com, the underground forum. | ||
| They gave me a lot of great advice on how to rehab and Pilates seems to come up a lot. | ||
| Yoga seems to come up a lot. | ||
| And that book seems to come up a lot as well. | ||
| So I'm going to check it out. | ||
| Travolta Backrubs. | ||
| Travolta backrubs are fucking uncomfortable because you never know when his dick's coming out. | ||
| You know, if Travolta would say, hey, let me rub you, which is what his move was. | ||
| Do you know that? | ||
| That was one of the moves that he would do on the guys. | ||
| Yeah, I'm a fucking aficionado of Travolta backrub lore. | ||
| Not that I'm hating the guy. | ||
| And I say, listen, man, you knew what the fuck you were getting into. | ||
| If you're a professional backrub guy and you guys don't have like a website or something, we can go and tell about which guys want to get jerked off, okay? | ||
| If you don't have that by now and Travolta's been coming to you for 20 years, that's on you, okay? | ||
| You guys need to either accept the job, you know what he wants, he wants you to jerk him off. | ||
| That's just John Trovers. | ||
| You saw it pulp fiction. | ||
| Jerk him off. | ||
| Just jerk him off. | ||
| I didn't talk about my back rub I had the other day. | ||
| You shouldn't talk about that. | ||
| Yeah, I shouldn't talk about that? | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| The one that was in San Diego. | ||
| Yeah, things can get closed down. | ||
| Yeah, the one in San Diego. | ||
| Right in the border. | ||
| Don't tell that story. | ||
| That story is a story. | ||
| We've got to be careful about talking about illegal shit as this patriotic shit. | ||
| Hey, it's made up. | ||
| I'm making it a picture of that. | ||
| We have to say that. | ||
| Every story we tell. | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
| From now on, allegedly. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Well, what if I say allegedly? | ||
| It's kind of cool. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| Okay, just stop it right now. | ||
| I didn't know that existed. | ||
| So who are you working with right now? | ||
| What fighters are you working with right now? | ||
| Just Kung Lee. | ||
| And I'm talking to Martin a little bit now. | ||
| And when you started working with Martin, he was the first guy? | ||
| First guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just said, hey, you know, I've never done this before. | ||
| I kind of want to experiment on somebody. | ||
| What made you want to reach out to a fighter and devise a... | ||
| It's the purest form of competition there is, I think, right now. | ||
| So that's why I love it because I'm very competitive. | ||
| I grew up playing games and video games. | ||
| And poker is obviously a perfect choice for my lifestyle now. | ||
| But I don't know. | ||
| I just felt like doing something different, man. | ||
| Just trying something new, creating something out of nothing. | ||
| And Martin Camp is just like, fuck it. | ||
| I mean, like, what did you say specifically that really knocked him on his ass? | ||
| Because, like I said, smart dude. | ||
| Smart dude. | ||
| Tough guy. | ||
| Very successful fighter. | ||
| Like, what did you say to him? | ||
| I told him I saw a champion inside of him and I wanted to be part of bringing it up. | ||
| See, I would think you were trying to fuck me. | ||
| Wouldn't you say? | ||
| Wouldn't you say that? | ||
| It's like hanging out with me. | ||
| Martin Campman. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Let me come over and get some Chardonnay. | ||
| We can just get back massages. | ||
| Yeah, it doesn't seem like you would just assume that some butt sex was going on. | ||
| You know, maybe Martin Campman just thought of it as a sparring session. | ||
| Like, this dude's going to come on my house trying to get some butt sex. | ||
| I'm going to light him up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck it. | |
| And along the way, he actually got some great advice. | ||
| It could be like an ABC after school special. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He thought he was going to get some free sparring in. | ||
| I told him I wasn't going to talk about that on the podcast. | ||
| About the butt sex part? | ||
| we've already established that everything we say is fiction. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So don't worry about it, Martin. | ||
| Your secret's safe with us. | ||
| Did he have big areolas, that guy? | ||
| No, he's a girl. | ||
| If it's got big area, he's a boy, rather. | ||
| No. | ||
| Only big areolas are girls. | ||
| No, there's some Puerto Ricans. | ||
| There's a few cute girls. | ||
| Have you ever seen a man with really big areolas? | ||
| Joey Diaz. | ||
| Oh, he's just. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Are you kidding? | ||
| They're as big as your face. | ||
| His areolas could, yeah, you could wear them as a mask and rob a bank. | ||
| Oh, that's cool. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's a big boy. | ||
| Imagine wearing a bike helmet with his areolas on the sides. | ||
| What's the biggest areolas you've ever seen on a girl? | ||
| Oh, there was this one. | ||
| Oh, it was a sad story that somebody sent me the other day. | ||
| It's this girl that was a Playboy model in the 70s, like, or 80s. | ||
| And she was super famous, very beautiful. | ||
| And she recently died in San Francisco, like on the streets as a homeless person and stuff. | ||
| And it just shows her how she used to look and imagine her life going there in 20 years or whatever it was. | ||
| You know what's fucked up? | ||
| Somewhere in her life, some guy probably, if not said it, at least thought, I hope that bitch winds up old and homeless and living on the street with no one to love her. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I hope she dies in a car accident. | ||
| Oh, don't say that. | ||
| Someone wished that to Brian. | ||
| I was just like, yeah, that sounds so rude. | ||
| So silly. | ||
| You should hope no one ever dies ever in a car accident for the rest of time. | ||
| Oh, that's great. | ||
| Show your reptilian skin, lady. | ||
| But whatever. | ||
| Yeah, putting that kind of intent. | ||
| Oh, did you hear about Lindsey Lohan? | ||
| He's really pissed off at the scary movie 5 trailer that just had. | ||
| It has Charlie Sheen in it. | ||
| And let me tell you something. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| Yeah, but Cat Williams is in this trailer, and it makes me wonder if this whole Cat Williams thing was some brilliant fucking marketing thing. | ||
| Because if you look at it, it's like a minute trailer. | ||
| You want to look at it, and Cat Williams is in it. | ||
| If you want to play it, look, I'm a big Cat Williams fan, and when I see Cat Williams getting in trouble and all this shit, you know why that drives me nuts? | ||
| Because I want to hear some new stand-up. | ||
| I think that guy's a brilliant comedian. | ||
| He's one of my favorites. | ||
| So when I see him, it makes me sad. | ||
| I don't take any joy in watching that guy fall apart. | ||
| Eric, check this out. | ||
| If he's falling apart. | ||
| But if it's all fake, good. | ||
| Let's see if it's... | ||
| I don't think he would ever do that to his fans if it was all fake. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think he's having Kendra. | |
| What? | ||
| There's someone out there. | ||
| Front door. | ||
| Open. | ||
| Front door. | ||
| Open. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Front door. | ||
| Okay, there you go. | ||
| I want you to stay calm. | ||
| Shut the hell up. | ||
| No need for that, bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bitch! | |
| Who's the kids baby in the world? | ||
| Little baby ADA. | ||
| Oh, geez. | ||
| Something paranormal in this house. | ||
| Stop right now for a second. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stop. | |
| This movie could give you AIDS. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You might get AIDS just watching this trailer. | ||
| I know. | ||
| This might be the worst movie ever. | ||
| Tell me if you think this is really Leonardo DiCaprio 2. | ||
| Oh, of course it is. | ||
|
unidentified
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And you think it is? | |
| It starts off so loony-tooned and like it doesn't. | ||
| This trailer starts off really shitty. | ||
|
unidentified
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Then it gets kind of interesting. | |
| Hey, this is stealing! | ||
| Demon's got my fist, man. | ||
| The mystery. | ||
| We're going to get to the bottom of this quick. | ||
| I was told you needed a dream extraction. | ||
|
unidentified
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This tube goes in your mouth, and the other one goes in your rectum. | |
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
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Zen, hang on. | |
| I'm sorry. | ||
| That one goes in your mouth and the other one goes in your rectum. | ||
| How do you use a witch? | ||
| Well, that's simple. | ||
| Who wants to hurt you? | ||
| What time is it? | ||
| Ballet time. | ||
| This nigga told me a witch is out to get me. | ||
| There's always some ballerina who won't give up the spotlight. | ||
| I danced the swan when I was pregnant with you. | ||
| This is not ballet. | ||
| Show the hell ain't some security footage that the old owner is. | ||
| Whoa, stop this right now. | ||
| This is madness. | ||
| This part's the craziest. | ||
| And this is what Lindsay Lohen. | ||
| Okay, Charlie Sheen is in bed with Lindsay Lowe. | ||
| So Lindsay Lowen's not mad that she's getting portrayed as fucking Charlie Sheen. | ||
| Let's just say, by the way. | ||
| Is this like what she had to do to get payback? | ||
| Is this not Lindsay? | ||
| This is Lindsay Lowen. | ||
| This is Charlie Sheen. | ||
| And Charlie Sheen just paid Lindsay's taxes. | ||
| I don't know if you've been following that whole Charlie Sheen thing. | ||
| No. | ||
| So maybe this is payback. | ||
| She has to do this film, but they fucking own her because they originally said in this scene that the joke is that... | ||
| I promise I'm not. | ||
| I'm not working for the Olive Garden. | ||
| I'm not working for this movie. | ||
| But then I guess they originally said it was supposed to be for Herbie. | ||
|
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Herbie's supposed to be on the TV and they changed it to her court sessions to watch. | |
| There's nothing to be scared of. | ||
| There's nothing to be scared of. | ||
| I gotta call you back, man. | ||
|
unidentified
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But see, I guess that was. | |
| I've come back from worse than this. | ||
|
unidentified
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Get up! | |
| Oh my god, that looks bad. | ||
| Horrible. | ||
| Charlie Sheen is the scariest thing in that clip. | ||
| Like, these constant jokes to fucking up, I've come back from worse than this. | ||
| Like, this constant playing off the fact that he's like this consummate partier who rebounds. | ||
| It's starting to be like parody. | ||
| It's scary. | ||
| You can't just keep doing that. | ||
| Keep talking about being a fuck up and bouncing back. | ||
| Like, you gotta actually do something now, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the scariest pre that. | ||
| That is scary. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Carrie Williams is in it and that. | ||
| What's scary is that people were willing to make that movie. | ||
| Like, they saw it and they glued it all together and they're like, well, fucking, this is pretty funny. | ||
| Whoever made that movie is like a genius. | ||
| It's just sitting there going to a wolf, counting their money. | ||
| Andy Dick, I need you. | ||
| That's pure madness. | ||
| That movie is pure madness. | ||
| You will leave that movie baffled. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe you'll love it. | ||
| What the fuck do I know? | ||
| Don't take your opinions from me, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| But I hope that that Cat Williams dude gets his shit together. | ||
| Or if he does have his shit together, I hope he explains himself. | ||
| I think he's a fucking hilarious comedian, man. | ||
| You go back and watch the Pimp Pronunciation. | ||
| It's really funny shit, man. | ||
| It's fun to watch. | ||
| He was good, man. | ||
| He was really good. | ||
| I hope he still is, you know. | ||
| I hope he can bounce back. | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| I wouldn't want to guess as to what is happening to him. | ||
| What happened to him? | ||
| I don't even know about him. | ||
| He's having all these canceled shows and not showing up and beating people up and shit. | ||
| Sounds normal. | ||
|
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I don't know. | |
| Fucking dude's hilarious, though. | ||
| I'll tell you that. | ||
| And I think you've got to be a certain amount of crazy to be able to pull off comedy, you know? | ||
| Especially pull it off at Joey Diaz levels. | ||
| Or fucking Cat Williams levels. | ||
| Or even Brian Cowan levels. | ||
| Brian Cowan's fucking crazy. | ||
| You know who's fucking awesome? | ||
| And do you ever talk to Steven Wright? | ||
| I was listening to his comedy the other day. | ||
| He is hilarious. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| I saw that guy live way back in the day when he first started making it before I was even a comedian. | ||
| I paid to see him live when I was like 18 or 19 years old. | ||
| I went to see him in a concert. | ||
| Yeah, he was amazing. | ||
| He said something like he was on an airplane the other day and he forgot to take his seatbelt when he stood up. | ||
| And then he's like, yeah, I was dragging this airplane around the lobby, knocking people over with my wings. | ||
| It was just like, what the fuck? | ||
| Yeah, he had a great joke about working at a fire extinguisher factory. | ||
| Couldn't park anywhere near the place. | ||
| That kind of style. | ||
| Yeah, he was the guy that there was a movie that was written about, or that was made about stand-up called When Stand-Up Stood Out. | ||
| And he was the guy that really changed the whole face of the Boston scene because he got discovered. | ||
| And when he got discovered, they were putting him on television all the time. | ||
| And then all of a sudden, everybody else wanted to get discovered too. | ||
| And it sort of changed it from everybody was just going out and trying to kill, just be the funniest people you could, to everybody wanting to try to get a TV deal. | ||
| So he sort of, by his success, unfortunately, tanked the entire Boston. | ||
| He was the first step in the entire Boston comedy scene slowly degenerating over time. | ||
| I don't get Steven right in my face, though. | ||
| Like, you know how you get Louis C.K. everywhere he goes. | ||
| Louis C.K., you know, David Towell and stuff, but I don't see him at all. | ||
| Well, one of the reasons is he was not nearly as prolific as Louis. | ||
| One of the things that's so amazing about Louis is not just that he's funny, but that he's so prolific. | ||
| Like Louis puts out a whole new hour every year and he's constantly writing. | ||
| And because of that, if you're a fan, like I'm a fan of Stephen Wright, but when was the last time I saw Stephen Wright special? | ||
| When was the last time, you know, I downloaded one of his MP3s? | ||
| It's very, very rare because he only has a certain body of work, and I'm through with that. | ||
| I've already eaten through it. | ||
| Whereas with a guy like Louie, if you're a fan, you're continually refreshed with new stuff. | ||
| Like every year, you're going to get a whole new hour. | ||
| You're going to get all these interviews in between. | ||
| So it's like the relationship between the fan and the comedian, like it makes sense. | ||
| It doesn't make sense that I'm still fans with Stephen Wright or fans of Stephen Wright, but I haven't heard any of this shit in a long time. | ||
| But if he was like a dude like Louie that was like banging it out every year, like an hour every year, yeah, you would hear about him everywhere. | ||
| It's not that he's not hilarious. | ||
| He's awesome. | ||
| It just doesn't work that much. | ||
| A sitcom with Stephen Wright and Cat Williams and their gay lovers. | ||
| And it's perfect because Cat Williams would never slap Stephen Wright because he's tall and stuff. | ||
| You know, probably wouldn't slap him as much. | ||
| Stephen Wright's not that tall. | ||
| He's pretty tall, isn't it? | ||
| Cat Williams would stand on a couch and smack in your face. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, come on. | ||
| You see on the video? | ||
| Popping that Walmart employee. | ||
| He'll smack you. | ||
| Usually what Cat said the Walmart employee was saying to him, that why he slapped him? | ||
| He called him the N-word. | ||
| And that's why he slapped him. | ||
| I don't believe that at all. | ||
| He might have. | ||
| Hey, he might have. | ||
| And if he didn't, that's the right thing to say if you want to get out of it. | ||
| Yeah, I guess that too. | ||
| Anyway, back to Matt. | ||
| So a little bit random access. | ||
| But hey, man. | ||
| I'm enjoying it. | ||
| That's how a real conversation is, you know? | ||
| Real conversations don't always go the same way. | ||
| When you started working with Martin Cantman, did you come up with something that you wrote down on paper? | ||
| These are the ways to address it. | ||
| Did you develop a curriculum? | ||
| How did you approach it? | ||
| It's hard to do that because it just depends so much on every different person. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| How much time do you want? | ||
| We usually spend like, I would say, a half hour. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like in advance to work with him before a fight. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| About two months then. | ||
| Two months. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So do you, all through like heavy training, you're there? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I don't go to his gym that much. | ||
| I went to Extreme Couture a couple times and just kind of hung out and just saw his body language and stuff like that. | ||
| But mostly it's just on the phone or I'll go over to his house and we'll kind of chat it out and see what's on his mind and just try to get it off there. | ||
| And did you develop a course for how you handle this kind of stuff? | ||
| Man, I'm still so new to this. | ||
| I don't even know what I'm doing sometimes. | ||
| So you just have some really good ideas about being able to be in the moment. | ||
| Yeah, the bottom line is just getting them present. | ||
| That's the only thing that I'm concerned about. | ||
| It's just getting them to the point where they're not thinking about their ex or whatever's on their mind, where they can just be in that cage and all that matters is what's in front of them. | ||
| Because if they go, if they, like I said, we talked about it before, one second away from the moment, they're gone. | ||
| They could get knocked out. | ||
| So what is, like, can you tell us, like, what's a good way? | ||
| Like, say if you got something on your mind that's fucking with you. | ||
| What's a good way to get that out of your mind? | ||
| Smoke. | ||
| Smoke weed? | ||
| And deal with it. | ||
| Smoke weed and deal with it. | ||
| No, I mean, you know, that's a joke, but I'm not as funny as you guys. | ||
| Okay, you gave it a shot. | ||
| Yeah, thank you. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, just to deal with it. | ||
| Most people, like I said, they'll push it aside. | ||
| They'll pretend like it's not there. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But for some people, it's not that easy to just deal with things. | ||
| Like, just, I mean, is there a tool that you could give someone, you know, like that they could take away? | ||
| Like, oh, let me look at it this way now instead. | ||
| There's like maybe a loss, loss in the family, a loss of a pet or something like that. | ||
| You know, for a lot of people, that shit is like absolutely devastating. | ||
| It's really hard for them to move on. | ||
| Right. | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| Like, if you're dealing with a fighter and he has like an issue, whatever it is, girlfriend issue, loss issue, whatever it is. | ||
| How do you get them to let that shit go? | ||
| You got to get them to go back to that moment and live it again because they're not okay with it. | ||
| One way or another, they're just not okay with it. | ||
| So they have to go back and really go through what was going on. | ||
| So you feel that a lot of times when people keep things in their mind or distractions, it's unresolved issues. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Mostly from childhood, actually. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now, how do you address that? | ||
| Do you say, do you like when you're working with a fighter, do you address specific areas of their childhood? | ||
| I mean, how far do you go with that? | ||
| Well, it'll come up in conversation. | ||
| One way or another, they'll tell me what the issue is, and then we just go deal with it. | ||
| I mean, it's hard, though, because a lot of people don't want to do that. | ||
| They don't want to deal with it. | ||
| They've been living with it for so long. | ||
| They're just like, you know, that's the way it is for them. | ||
| Yeah, it's like it makes it difficult for them to sort of, if they let it go like that, if they the game's over. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If they let it go, the game's over. | ||
| They don't get it. | ||
| Because mostly they're getting something out of it. | ||
| That's the reason why they keep doing it. | ||
| Even a traumatic experience or something bad, they're getting something out of it, whether it be people feeling bad for them or whatever it is for them. | ||
| They'll be getting something out of it. | ||
| Until they can let that go and end that game and move on, it's like Groundhog Day. | ||
| Over and over again. | ||
| Yeah, when you meet someone and they have an issue like that and they keep repeating it, it's so fucking frustrating. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yes. | |
| It's so frustrating. | ||
| I went through it. | ||
| I've gone through it a couple times with my friends with drugs. | ||
| Or alcohol. | ||
| When someone has just got that thing where they'll get sober for a couple months and then they fuck up and then they're, you know, it's like literally like they're stuck in like a, and you're like, what are you doing? | ||
| Like, why are you in this little track? | ||
| This is a terrible track. | ||
| You know, these are maze. | ||
| You know, you can just go that way. | ||
| You can just have to, yeah, this is, you're fucking crazy. | ||
| Put it down. | ||
| Pretend you're talking to yourself. | ||
| What would you tell yourself to do? | ||
| Would you tell yourself to keep repeating these same stupid fucking patterns? | ||
| If you went to yourself for advice, that's a weird thing with people. | ||
| A lot of people are good about giving advice, but their own life, they can't follow that. | ||
| Yeah, no, me too, sometimes. | ||
| Look, I'm human. | ||
| It happens with me too, you know. | ||
| Oh, for sure, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| It's hard to turn that same, you know, when you look at other people, you can look at them pretty objectively. | ||
| You're not attached to their success or failure. | ||
| You see them for what they are, for the most part, or what they represent to you. | ||
| But yourself, it's hard to do. | ||
| Most people don't want to deal with their own issues. | ||
| That's why people give advice all the time because they don't want to look inward and really work on themselves and deal with it. | ||
| It was like a song that they would play on Zoom or one of those little kids' shows. | ||
| The most important person in the whole wide world is you and you hardly even know you. | ||
| Do you remember that? | ||
| I don't, but. | ||
| I don't remember it either. | ||
| I barely remember it. | ||
| I remember that line. | ||
| I remember like, what was I was like six going, what is this bitch talking about? | ||
| I don't even know me. | ||
| I know me. | ||
| Well, you don't know you. | ||
| Don't project your bullshit on me. | ||
| I'm six years old. | ||
| I fucking know me. | ||
| All right? | ||
|
unidentified
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The most important person in the Hawaii world is you, and you hardly even know you. | |
| Very difficult for people to look at themselves, though. | ||
| That's one of the hardest things to do. | ||
| Straighten out your own issues. | ||
| The thing about fighting is that the stakes are so insanely high that there's even more pressure. | ||
| It's because it's not just a loss. | ||
| Like for a regular person, like you say, if you like to play basketball, if you have a one-on-one game with a guy and you're pretty sure you could beat him, but you fuck up some clutch shots and you, that is, you know, it doesn't feel good. | ||
| He's clowning you, making fun of you. | ||
| He smoked you in basketball. | ||
| But that is so much better than losing a fight. | ||
| The losing a fight, the emotional, yeah, the emotional aspect of it is so devastating to a lot of those guys. | ||
| Oh, man, especially with egos. | ||
| Because, you know, look, we all have egos one way or another, mostly. | ||
| But with fighting, it's like you're losing in front of that many people, and you've got to go back to the drawing board. | ||
| You know, you're not going to get a title shot now for a couple fights. | ||
| You know, Martin was right there, you know. | ||
| Yeah, especially if you're in a situation where you don't like the guy, and you guys have a lot of emotions invested in the fight, and then the guy goes out and KOs you. | ||
| That gets ugly. | ||
| Well, you can't do that. | ||
| That's one of the things I teach. | ||
| You cannot think about that stuff. | ||
| You cannot get emotionally invested. | ||
| If you get emotionally invested, you're done. | ||
| Yeah, that's so important with a lot of things. | ||
| It's important with even with art. | ||
| You've got to be able to let the expression exist outside of any of your own bullshit. | ||
| You can't get wrapped up in this motherfucker's eyeballing me. | ||
| Bitch, you're going to be the one who shoots first. | ||
| Like, all that nonsense can't exist in order for you to perform optimally. | ||
| No, you can never grow. | ||
| If you order for you to execute the technique in the best way and to not have all this extra baggage attached to your performance. | ||
| Because what people don't understand is that this is a very important thing. | ||
| Your mind, and I know this specifically because I've spent so much time in sensory deprivation tanks. | ||
| This is a really big, big, big thing in my life is the ability to separate and get a look at what the fuck is really going on with all of your thoughts and all of your intentions when you're by yourself with no distractions. | ||
| Because if you have any distractions, so a distraction is an unnecessary element to a situation. | ||
| If there's a situation and there's all this ego attached with you and this guy fighting that did not need to be there, well you've you've added, you might still beat the guy, but you've added a layer of difficulty to this equation that didn't exist before. | ||
| And you focus resources on it. | ||
| And you only have a certain amount of resources. | ||
| And guess who created that? | ||
| You did. | ||
|
unidentified
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You did. | |
| Always. | ||
| The thing about the isolation tank is that you really truly understand when your body is separated from any sensory input, how much resources are going to that. | ||
| That also affect consciousness. | ||
| Because if you have to deal, your mind is managing space as you're moving around, like bumping into objects and opening doors. | ||
| And your mind is managing all this as well as communicating with people. | ||
| And you don't feel like you're in any way taxed or stressed. | ||
| But when you're in an environment where there's none of that going on, the sensory deprivation tank being at the same temperature as your skin, you're floating in there. | ||
| So there's nothing coming into your skin. | ||
| Your skin, you feel like you're flying through the universe. | ||
| You don't feel anything. | ||
| You don't see anything. | ||
| It's pitch black. | ||
| You don't hear anything. | ||
| Your ears are underwater. | ||
| So there's nothing coming in. | ||
| And everything seems so clear. | ||
| It's like there's no Distractions there anymore. | ||
| There's just your thoughts. | ||
| And then you look at it and you're like, Yeah, what the fuck am I doing? | ||
| Like, why don't I get out of this relationship? | ||
| Why don't I stop drinking? | ||
| Why don't I quit smoking cigarettes? | ||
| Why do I keep gambling my paycheck away? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Inside that environment, those answers seem like so obvious. | ||
| Yeah, well, what you just said is a perfect way to put it. | ||
| There's so much going on in our lives that we don't even take a moment to look inward. | ||
| We're either driving somewhere or we're eating and talking to somebody or whatever we're doing and then we're sleeping. | ||
| You know, you never really have that time. | ||
| So being in the deprivation tank is definitely huge. | ||
| I've tried it a couple times actually down in Venice. | ||
| At the Float Lab? | ||
| Float Lab, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, they just just, that guy's nuts, man. | ||
| The dude who runs a float lab, my friend Crash. | ||
| And there's, there's like, there's a community of people all throughout the world that create these sensory deprivation tanks. | ||
| And there's some very good models. | ||
| I had a Samadhi. | ||
| That was my first one. | ||
| And I enjoyed that thing very much. | ||
| I had great experiences in that tank. | ||
| It's very adequate. | ||
| But the level of sophistication and technology that this crazy motherfucker puts in to his shit crashes systems are like a hundred years in the future. | ||
| The amount of filtration that's in them, the ozone, and no one else is anywhere near what he's doing. | ||
| He put in this giant control panel and how to get it hardwired into the room where the tank is. | ||
| The whole thing is fucking crazy. | ||
| It's huge. | ||
| It's eight feet high and six feet wide, nine feet long. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it's a gigantic fucking thing. | ||
| I mean, he takes everything to this crazy. | ||
| So now the newest versions of the tanks, the experience is still the same. | ||
| He just wants to make sure that the water is as pure as it can be, the distractions are as minimal, there's no light that gets in at all. | ||
| But when you have this experience on a regular basis, it puts into perspective why people do certain things where they just keep doing a momentum and impulse, like pull into Dunkin' Donuts or get some fucking horrible fatty foods and stuff your face, and you just fill a hole for a second, and then you're like, fuck, I'm going to go to the gym tonight. | ||
| And then you keep repeating this pattern. | ||
| But note that you're repeating it with actions. | ||
| That's what's really strange because actions also require resources. | ||
| And when you have an issue, when you have something that's fucking with your mind, a lot of times you will eat up the resources so that you don't have to deal with it because the pressure of dealing with it is scary to you. | ||
| So you create this sort of artificial situation by actions. | ||
| That's why it's meditative time. | ||
| Time, whether it's just doing, sitting down and concentrating on your breathing and just trying to clear your mind or actually doing something or even hiking. | ||
| A lot of people think hiking is like a meditative sort of a breathing thing because as you're moving, you're completely concentrating on that and your life sort of goes away and the stress of it all sort of goes away. | ||
| You're just living. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what Crash should do? | ||
| You know how he's like, he rents them out for an hour or so? | ||
| He should mix like massage with flotation tank. | ||
| Imagine just laying there and having another girl like in a bathing suit, just giving you like a real Thai massage while in the flotation tank. | ||
| Can't we like that way, though? | ||
| A hotation tank. | ||
| It doesn't really work that way. | ||
| And wouldn't you want to see her? | ||
| You wouldn't want to, you know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| What if she looks like Gollum when you fucking get it? | ||
| That's one of the things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You get to pick her. | |
| I'm alive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's alive. | |
| Yeah, I don't think that. | ||
| Plus, the tank is only 11 inches deep. | ||
| Like, she can't really get away from it. | ||
| No, you would design it so like you're you can breathe underwater. | ||
| Like on another planet where gravity is different. | ||
| No. | ||
| Design it so you can breathe underwater. | ||
| Like a head. | ||
| It's like it's a ramp, like where it goes up. | ||
| It wouldn't work. | ||
| That's silly. | ||
| because if it's a ramp, you would be sloshing around in there. | ||
| Yeah, unless you're laying on fleshlight material all the way in it. | ||
| The whole thing's fleshlight inside. | ||
| Like a fleshlight blanket. | ||
| Why don't they make fleshlights? | ||
| Fleshlight might feel good in your dick, but it wouldn't feel so good on your face. | ||
| You'd be like, what the fuck is this rubbery thing on my face? | ||
| Fleshlight blankets? | ||
| It feels good on your dick because your dick is so crazy. | ||
| Your dick's willing to go into assholes readily. | ||
| When a girl's like, put it in my ass. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, yeah. | |
| You know, your dick's an idiot. | ||
| Your dick is essentially rubbing shit walls all over itself. | ||
| Your dick is a fool. | ||
| There's a big difference between that, like you, you know, and what you're willing to do with your face. | ||
| Like most people, most respectable people, would not rub a shit wall. | ||
| A wall where all the shit passes by. | ||
| You wouldn't take it and rub it all over your skin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But your dick is like, yeah, oh, yeah, love it, baby. | |
| For Christmas, I got dolphin, a VIB dolphin encounter. | ||
| I get to swim with the dolphins and hug the dolphins. | ||
| And I know, like, I'm planning it out already where I'm going to, like, put my head against a dolphin and just be like, fuck me right now. | ||
| Fuck me. | ||
| And see if he can read my mind. | ||
| Like, have you done that yet? | ||
| What are you talking about, man? | ||
| Have you done that yet? | ||
| No, no, I haven't done that. | ||
| Like, swim with the dolphins at all? | ||
| Have you tried any hacking to the dolphins? | ||
| I'm talking about talking to the dolphins. | ||
| Do you have a broken brain? | ||
| Like, you know, McKenna sat there and fucking took acid with dolphins. | ||
| Would you try any mini experiments? | ||
| First of all, it was John Lilly. | ||
| John Lilly. | ||
| Are you on the Arrow today? | ||
| What the fuck is going on? | ||
| Did you smoke three experiments? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, that's not the same thing. | |
| I've been sick for three days. | ||
| I was sick, you know, for Christmas and the day before. | ||
| I think you're still sick. | ||
| Go back to the doctor. | ||
| Tell them to focus in your brain now. | ||
| Listen to what you just said. | ||
| Listen to what, like, a rational person having a conversation. | ||
| You're like, you ever go to the dolphins? | ||
| You'd be like, yeah, I'm going to fuck the shit out of you right now. | ||
| People know, what are you saying? | ||
| I'm saying, like, little experience. | ||
| Like, when you first hung out with a dog, or when you hang out with dogs, you know, you always sit there and like, can you read my mind? | ||
| And, like, you're doing little experimental. | ||
| I don't, I know I do. | ||
| Never experiment with your cats. | ||
| Never do anything. | ||
| I don't pretend to be doing anything. | ||
| Okay, let's be clear. | ||
| You're pretending that your dog might be able to see you and talk to you like a Dr. Doolittle movie. | ||
| I don't pretend. | ||
| I don't sit around and go, can I read your mind? | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because I've read a lot of books on dogs and humans, and not once does it ever say anywhere that they can read your fucking mind. | ||
| So I assume that they can't read your mind, and then when I watch, like, Zookeeper, that that's just bullshit. | ||
| All right? | ||
| Okay? | ||
| That's, no, I don't sit around and go, oh, fuck me, Mr. Dolphin. | ||
| No, I don't do that. | ||
| You tell me if you had a dolphin in an aquarium tank inside your bedroom and every day you looked at that dolphin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It wouldn't go. | |
| You would ask it where it would want to live and then would let it go. | ||
| Like if it was a crippled dolphin and it couldn't move, it just sat there and had to stare and look at it. | ||
| And then it would shoot it in the head and make the next life it would come back as a tuna. | ||
| Do they sell retarded dolphins for pets? | ||
| That'd be awesome. | ||
| Like you could keep it in an aquarium because it doesn't want to move. | ||
| It just wants to sit there and drool. | ||
| But it would be still cool to be alive. | ||
| You could still want to eat. | ||
| like just have an retarded dolphin in your bedroom. | ||
| That'd be perfect if you were into that. | ||
| But I suspect you'd get bored because you'd probably be really stupid and like the middle of the night he'd be like crying out for you. | ||
| You'd be like, oh my god, you know how bad dolphin fucking shrieks sound at three o'clock in the morning when you're hungover? | ||
| But what if it says happy noises? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's relaxing. | ||
| Well, you're just hoping for a different type of Down syndrome animal. | ||
| You're not hoping for like a, you know, normal Down syndrome animals or an animal with a disease. | ||
| For you, it's like, well, it's a magical Down syndrome animal that's happy all the time. | ||
| Well, if we can clone them, if they're doing cloning now, animal clonings. | ||
| I mean, if you can clone your dog, it should be all right to clone a retarded dolphin that you can keep in an aquarium that doesn't squeak. | ||
| You know what we're really lucky? | ||
| We're really lucky that people can't get other animals pregnant. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| We're really lucky because if that was the case, there would be people everything out there. | ||
| There would be people, giraffes. | ||
| You would go, how the fuck did this happen? | ||
| It would happen. | ||
| Would they get driver's license? | ||
| If you could fuck an animal and get it pregnant, for sure, there would be human-animal hybrids all over the world of everything, of gorillas. | ||
| You would go, how the fuck did this happen? | ||
| They wouldn't have zebras. | ||
| Some dude fucked a zebra, roped it, held it down, shot, not only that, when it was ovulating, shot a load into it, came, and not just fucked it, but came. | ||
| Okay, that's a big deal. | ||
| I mean, we were talking about before the show, like when you've been dating a girl for a long time, like if you're bored with sex, like if you're not like sexually compatible, you can get in those situations where you don't even really want to have sex with them anymore. | ||
| We were talking about like when you're pretending you're fucking somebody else, like while you're bone, you're close your eyes like, oh, yeah. | ||
| Thinking about some chick that you used to bone. | ||
| Like that's ridiculous. | ||
| You're getting actual real sex, but you're pretending to get sex from a different person because that's the only way you're going to get off. | ||
| Well, this guy fucked a zebra, bitch. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| He didn't have to pretend. | ||
| You know it's a zebra. | ||
| There's shit all over its ass, and that's right next to your dick because zebras don't wipe their ass ever. | ||
| They just dump out these gigantic jungle shits, and then you got to hold that motherfucker down and bone it and get it pregnant. | ||
| But they would exist. | ||
| They would be dudes in Africa that were half zebra. | ||
| They would look just like the Navi in that fucking Avatar movie. | ||
| They would be giant zebra people. | ||
| There's no doubt about it, man. | ||
| That would be exactly the right height, too. | ||
| It'd be like a nine-foot tall sort of human-zebra hybrid. | ||
| The whole planet would be half people, half fish. | ||
| People fuck fish, for sure. | ||
| These dudes have fucked fish. | ||
| 100%, I know. | ||
| I have no doubt about it. | ||
| Dogs would be ridiculous. | ||
| Dogs would be like, it would be like that movie District 9 where those aliens came down and they had to fucking figure out what to do with them. | ||
| That would be the human dog population because there would be so many human dogs. | ||
| They would be like, don't fuck your dogs. | ||
| They'd be like big billboards with a dick and a dog and a big red line through it. | ||
| Don't fuck your dogs. | ||
| Because people would fuck their dogs. | ||
| They would definitely fuck their dogs. | ||
| People have fucked parrots. | ||
| I guarantee you. | ||
| If a person could get a parrot pregnant, there would be people-parrot hybrids, and they would be flying around our cities all day, snatching purses and throwing shit at people. | ||
| Shitting on you. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| If people could make hybrids with parrots, those motherfuckers would be like prisoners flying in the sky, dropping rocks on people's heads, killing them and shit. | ||
| I guarantee you there would be a person-pigeon. | ||
| You would look at it and go, how the fuck did that even happen? | ||
| But there would be a half-person, half-pigeon, like a foot and a half tall, all fucking pissed off and fucked up feet, fucked up pigeon feet and shit. | ||
| If people could get everything pregnant, we would get everything pregnant. | ||
| There would be people trees. | ||
| There'd be people melons and pumpkins. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There would be people... | |
| You're describing Lord of the Rings. | ||
| Well, what if your loads got, duplicated everything? | ||
| If it wasn't just human beings. | ||
| Be like, MacBook Pro, come over here and sit in daddy's lap. | ||
| What if sperm just reproduced everything it saw? | ||
| Just shoot sperm on a water bottle. | ||
| It makes another water bottle right next to it, like one of those pods in that movie Invasion of the Body Snatchers. | ||
| It's growing under the bed, trying to become what it's, you know. | ||
| I'd find the time machine. | ||
| I would suck my own dick and fuck my mouth and get my own pregnant and then it would just spin in a circle like a cartwheel going down the street and something like that. | ||
| And it'd be like two mirrors looking into each other forever. | ||
| It would never end. | ||
| It'd be two mirrors facing each other to oblivion of you blowing yourself in a spinning circle like you're in one of those cartoon wheels going down the hill like one guy holding another guy's foot or a dog biting its tail. | ||
| A dog biting its tail is the perfect analogy just rolling down the hill. | ||
| That would be you sucking your own dick and fucking yourself in the ass in a giant circle. | ||
| A spiral fractal. | ||
| What's his face? | ||
| It goes on in billions and billions of light years. | ||
| It's like a huge swirling galaxy of a zillion trillion Brians sucking their own dick and boning themselves in the ass in a giant circle of impossible reality. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| Hey, that's not any more impossible to believe than a galaxy itself. | ||
| No, there's no way a guy could be sucking his own dick and fucking himself in the ass flying around a star, but huge gigantic balls of gas and or water and or rock. | ||
| Yeah, that kind of makes sense. | ||
| With molten centers shooting lava out of their tits. | ||
| Yeah, okay, that makes more sense than a dude flying around sucking his own dick and boning himself in the ass. | ||
| No, that makes just as much sense. | ||
| It's just as ridiculous. | ||
| A whole universe filled with a spiral of Brians, a trillion light years long, all boning themselves, is less than half as spectacular as a real supernova. | ||
| So I'm not really impressed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm going to fuck those out there somewhere. | |
| I'm not impressed with your performance. | ||
| I'm going to totally do what your friend does with the stripper pants. | ||
| I'm going to shave down my swim trunks down to a really thin layer. | ||
| And then when a dolphin comes up to me, I'm just going to wrap. | ||
| See, again, you don't make sense. | ||
| What I said makes sense. | ||
| What you're saying is crazy. | ||
| No. | ||
| I'm going to go fuck a dolphin, son. | ||
| Dude, I'm just going to rub my body around. | ||
| They're not going to let you. | ||
| They're going to see what you're doing. | ||
| They're going to arrest you. | ||
| Do you think that happens all the time? | ||
| They're going to be a fucking website dedicated, just like they have sex criminal websites. | ||
| They're going to have guys who are even thinking about fucking dolphins. | ||
| It's sad enough, these poor dolphins are kept in these cages. | ||
| They wish they were out in the ocean, chasing fish, having a good time with each other. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| We have to contain them In some shitty little spot, not even let them kill their own fish, which is part of the big thrill of life. | ||
| And some asshole thinks it's cute to try to fuck you. | ||
| Yeah, Joe, but I just found out their nipples are inside their assholes. | ||
| Did you know that's like the babies feed by putting their nose up the dolphin's dick and it like fucking shoots milk out of its ass. | ||
| And so, like, imagine its ass? | ||
| Yes, and so imagine having the best upgrade to a butthole ever, having nipples inside. | ||
| Now you're doing materials, right? | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| I saw you do that on stage. | ||
| Where are dolphins' nipples? | ||
| In the asshole. | ||
| You're probably like, what the fuck is going on? | ||
| Hey, I'm just enjoying the ride, man. | ||
| No, they're hidden inside slits of the mother's underbelly. | ||
| See, you gotta read. | ||
| It's in the butthole. | ||
| There's books. | ||
| There's books. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| How does the dolphin feed? | ||
| How do baby dolphins feed? | ||
| They feed under these. | ||
| They don't feed out of their butthole, dude. | ||
| Yeah, they do. | ||
| No, they don't. | ||
| I know that I did the dolving experience at Atlantis last year, and they don't even want you to pet them around their bullet holes, so you better be careful. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, they get upset. | ||
| I'm not going to touch a bullet hole. | ||
| Why take the bullet hole when you have the real thing? | ||
| No, Brian, there's slits in the underbelly of the mother, and she releases these nipples. | ||
| And the dolphins nurse that way. | ||
| You don't know what you're talking about, man. | ||
| You're talking crazy. | ||
| Somebody said that to me. | ||
| Yeah, well, that person is probably Sam Tripoli. | ||
| He probably sent you off the skids. | ||
| That's so dumb. | ||
| All you got to do is just Google that. | ||
| I saw you talking about that on stage, and I was like, no, they aren't. | ||
| I know they're not. | ||
| I would have known. | ||
| Their channel actually brought me to a science page or something. | ||
| I have it on my Twitter linked. | ||
| Okay, it's not real, son. | ||
| Look, there's a picture of a dolphin, a female dolphin, nursing. | ||
| Look. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| See? | ||
| It can nurse two different ways. | ||
| They can't do it through the asshole. | ||
| Stop it. | ||
| It's not healthy. | ||
| It's not a dolphin upgrade. | ||
| You're just trying to say that joke. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| Oh, I wonder if this is true. | ||
| No, it's not true, Brian. | ||
| Don't wonder. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Guys like you are why conspiracy theorists. | ||
| A dolphin's nipples are located in its anus. | ||
| The calf sticks its bill into the hole in the baby nurses from its mother through the business. | ||
| You're on theonion.com. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Stop it. | ||
| No, they don't. | ||
| They can't. | ||
| You would know that. | ||
| It was on whatthefuckFacts.com or something. | ||
| I think those things, a lot of times, people just make that shit up. | ||
| I really don't think you can. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| That's gone. | ||
| I don't think. | ||
| I just don't think that. | ||
| First of all, that wouldn't be natural. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense that you would want to be feeding near fecal matter. | ||
| Why would nature ever set that up? | ||
| Yeah, you're going to eat right near where your mom shits. | ||
| Are you cool with that? | ||
| Otherwise, you die. | ||
| Right. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, and everywhere it says they have nipples in these slits hidden inside the small underbelly. | ||
| No question. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Every website that I'm looking at says the same thing. | ||
| They have these nipples that are hidden in a slit in their underbelly. | ||
| God, there's some fake dolphin nursing facts going on on the internet, everyone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, it's just people think they want to find out how dumb people are. | |
| They want to find out how dumb people are and whether or not people will Google things. | ||
| It's probably an experiment. | ||
| And you probably just led to this disinformation campaign because you've been talking about it on stage for several weeks now without ever Googling it even once. | ||
| Without ever since they're saying the exact opposite, but I believe you because I am also seeing more what you're saying thanks to that. | ||
| Well, look at the websites that are saying that they are in their ass. | ||
| Like UberFax. | ||
| Who's writing UberFax? | ||
| DolcanReef.co. | ||
| Anybody can contribute to these things and sneak them in. | ||
| There's a lot of these little silly Twitter pages and websites where they make things up on purse. | ||
| I've read a bunch of them. | ||
| Like, oh my God, what the fuck? | ||
| In your ass, facts. | ||
| There's a lot of those that are not really facts. | ||
| They're just trying to get retweets. | ||
| And they'll say something crazy, they get retweets, and then they'll tweet out, we're giving away a free iPad. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| There's a bunch of people that have businesses that are set up just around getting people to their websites and getting people to, so they'll make shit up. | ||
| Sorry, I didn't think people would lie about dolphins. | ||
| They took it more seriously, you know? | ||
| You didn't think people would lie about them, but you did think that you would like to sneak up behind one and ask one if you could fuck it. | ||
| Touch it. | ||
| Rub it. | ||
| Rub it around the outside type shit. | ||
| I just think it would feel good. | ||
| Have you touched a dolphin? | ||
| I have not even touched it. | ||
| Dude, it's like raping a prisoner that you can't understand. | ||
| That's what it's like. | ||
| He's crying and you're like, he likes it. | ||
| Meanwhile, in his language, he's screaming out, please stop fucking me. | ||
| That's what it would be like if you had sex with a dolphin. | ||
| Like, if I touched a dolphin, does it feel like your cheek? | ||
| It's like plastic. | ||
| It's like plastic. | ||
| So it does like hard plastic. | ||
| So it feels like a dildo. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, I've never really felt a dildo. | ||
| Like a wetsuit, maybe. | ||
| Like a wetsuit? | ||
| You've never felt a dildo? | ||
| Never. | ||
| I've never lived. | ||
| I've never lived. | ||
| I'll try it later, I guess. | ||
| Clearly. | ||
| I've never touched a dildo, man. | ||
| Have you ever seen one over a chick's house? | ||
| I'm actually only 12 years old. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, fuck. | |
| It's got that crazy disease. | ||
| Yeah, dildos, nobody's impressed with the way they feel. | ||
| I mean, you know, I mean, it gets kind of close to what a dick would feel like, but you'd know the difference. | ||
| If I put a dick in your hand and then I put a dildo in your hand, like, which one of these is the real dick? | ||
| You know? | ||
| You feel electricity, right? | ||
| Through a dick? | ||
| Do you feel electricity? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Totally. | ||
| It feels alive. | ||
| Have you ever sparked with your dick? | ||
| I wonder if your dick could cause your blend tech blender to catch fire. | ||
| You just throw it in there and find out. | ||
| This show's gone off the rails and into the woods. | ||
| Back to positive thinking, man. | ||
| So did you say Lesbians were obvious? | ||
| You got to learn how to talk English so that people understand you. | ||
| I don't even know what you said. | ||
| I'm sorry, I'm eating one of these on it buffalo bars. | ||
| Don't eat and talk at the same time, you fuck. | ||
| Did you see the Quentin Tarantino movie? | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| But Jamie said it's fucking awesome. | ||
| Jamie said it's awesome. | ||
| It looks amazing, man. | ||
| I can't wait to see it. | ||
| Yeah, it looks pretty bad. | ||
| Quentin Tarantino's a bad motherfucker. | ||
| He makes the kind of movies that people want to see, like fun, crazy movies where nutty shit goes down. | ||
| Did you see the Hobbit? | ||
| End up seeing The Hobbit? | ||
| Yes, I saw The Hobbit. | ||
| Did you like it? | ||
| What time did you fall asleep at? | ||
| I grew up an hour in. | ||
| Hour in? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My wife nudged me. | ||
| She goes, you're not asleep, are you? | ||
| I go, nope. | ||
| I was totally asleep. | ||
| Damn, you got to get your points up. | ||
| I guess that's a new game that you get your points on, like, how fast you can fall asleep in The Hobbit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I had a record of like 18 seconds. | |
| I could have gone asleep about a half an hour in. | ||
| You know, the problem with all those movies is I hate saying this because I even make fun of people say that. | ||
| First of all, I read the books and I read them when I was like a little kid, and they were like a part of me growing up. | ||
| You know, so I'm watching it, and I know that certain shit has to happen. | ||
| So you already, like, that takes away from a lot of the drama of the movie because you know all these things are going to happen. | ||
| It's like, okay, well, how are they going to happen? | ||
| As opposed to, you know, a great film that's entirely original. | ||
| So this movie is an adaptation of the novel that you've already read. | ||
| So there's that. | ||
| And then there's that. | ||
| There's so much to tell that it takes a long ass time to tell it all. | ||
| And it's just not as enjoyable when you're watching it in a film form than if you're watching it in a movie. | ||
| So like there's all this shit that happened that it's just like, yeah, it looks really cool, but it's just some shit happening. | ||
| Like the scene where they're fighting the ogres. | ||
| And I'm like, spoiler, spoiler alert, they fight ogres. | ||
| But after a while, I'm like, oh, I get it. | ||
| They're going to be fine. | ||
| And let's just watch them cartoonishly have this fight that has no drama attached to it at all. | ||
| And there was a lot of that. | ||
| But the special effects are fucking stunning. | ||
| What they can do now is fucking stunning. | ||
| What frame rate did you see? | ||
| Did you see the creepy one? | ||
| I thought, yeah, the high frame rate 3D. | ||
| And people that were complaining about that, go fuck yourself. | ||
| Go fuck yourself. | ||
| Are you really complaining? | ||
| Is it like that fake version of the TV? | ||
| They were like, this is going to ruin films forever. | ||
| It gives the entire film a creepy demand. | ||
| It's a fantasy movie, you fuckstick. | ||
| Suspension of disbelief, isn't that the point? | ||
| not only that, this is the most suspension of disbeliefy movie of all time. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Are you really saying it doesn't look real? | ||
| You asshole? | ||
| It's not supposed to look real, stupid fuckface. | ||
| It's supposed to be fun, and it's way more fun when it's in that high-frame rate 3D version. | ||
| It's badass, man. | ||
| When I was over my friend's house for Christmas, her brother was playing Call of Duty in 3D. | ||
| And I put on the glasses. | ||
| I was just like, holy shit. | ||
| Yeah, those 3D TVs, those are nuts. | ||
| We had a 3D laptop that Alienware gave us, but I never played a game in 3D on it. | ||
| Did you play Odio? | ||
| I think I played Portal 2. | ||
| How was it? | ||
| Sweet. | ||
| But, I mean, I also have 3D TVs, so I've been playing Call of Duty in 3D, so I think who gives a shit? | ||
| Man, the technology for those things has gotten really, really powerful. | ||
| I saw a 3D television recently at one of those high-end fucking stores. | ||
| That's an audiovisual store. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I forget what it was. | ||
| We were on the road and we walked into one of those retail stores. | ||
| And they had this crazy fucking setup where it's really thin glass. | ||
| And that was essentially the entire TV. | ||
| It was really weird. | ||
| And you put these glasses on it. | ||
| What did we watch? | ||
| Monsters Inc. | ||
| Is that what it was? | ||
| Monsters Inc in 3D, and it's just like, whoa! | ||
| Like, it's such an overwhelming experience. | ||
| Like, there's so much more visual input coming your way, and like this added dimension of it. | ||
| If they could just get it down like that, like the perfect way, but like with a really bad, like Avatar. | ||
| Avatar, I think, was way better because of the 3D. | ||
| Yeah, Avatar just came out on 3D, by the way. | ||
| If you have a 3D TV, it just finally came out so everyone can buy it. | ||
| It used to be where you only could buy it if you bought this $150. | ||
| See, I feel like if you wear glasses in your house, you might be an asshole. | ||
| Oh, dude, I love it. | ||
| I got these new ones off Amazon. | ||
| They're just generics for like 20 bucks. | ||
| They just charge it by USB, so you always have them charge. | ||
| It's like putting on sunglasses while you're laying in bed. | ||
| Do you think one day we'll look back in the day and we'll laugh about the days when they used to have to wear glasses to have 3D? | ||
| Dude, it'll be silly fucks. | ||
| But it'll be like it's ancient dated technology. | ||
| I mean, essentially, we're trying to distort an image. | ||
| If you take your glasses off and you watch The Hobbit, it's craziness. | ||
| It's like you can barely see what the fuck's happening. | ||
| It's gross. | ||
| But then you put the glasses on. | ||
| So somehow or another, they need this distortion and they pass through just a simple lens. | ||
| Just a little simple lens that's really close to your eyes in order to make it happen. | ||
| I don't accept that. | ||
| I say nonsense. | ||
| I think these crazy fucks and the Hadron Collider people, they're doing some nutty things, man. | ||
| They're going to be able to figure out 3D. | ||
| 3D is going to be, I think eventually it's going to be everyone's going to have, instead of a television, you're just going to have like one of those help me Obi-Wan, you're my only hope, one of those little things that she's stuck on R2D to. | ||
| And you're going to sit that bitch down and step back and it's going to make a show for you right in front of you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And everyone's going to be doing it everywhere, too. | ||
| You're going to be like in the parking lot, there's going to be like people are going to throw advertisements in front of you and you're like, get that fucking thing out of here. | ||
| You know, I don't want to see this hologram thing. | ||
| Yeah, you're going to be walking down the street and you're going to watch like see-through people have sword fights right in front of you. | ||
| Is that a real person? | ||
| It's a ghost? | ||
| Is that a hologram? | ||
| It's a hologram, right? | ||
| It's going to be totally Pokemon shit. | ||
| Big fucking dudes hacking at each other with swords right in the middle of a fucking intersection of people driving right through them. | ||
| Oh, it's putting UFC fights on the road. | ||
| Just drop it. | ||
| Yeah, right where people are trying to walk through. | ||
| Dude, head kicking each other. | ||
| Like escort guys in Vegas where they're flipping the tickets. | ||
| Now they're just going to be interrupting your fights with the girls fucking giving blowjobs to other guys. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Trannies. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's going to be all over the street. | ||
| You're going to watch tranny sex coming out of a hologram. | ||
| People are going to outlaw that. | ||
| They're going to go, this is, I'm trying to walk my kid to school. | ||
| I'm fucking looking at trannies banging each other right there live. | ||
| Yeah, what would the censorship be? | ||
| There'd be like a smoke that you throw on the ground that like blocks the hologram or something. | ||
| Well, it makes me wonder, like, is there, like, the internet is the only place that we've ever had in our whole life where there's no censorship. | ||
| The internet is just, it's the wild west and it's free. | ||
| How much of your life do you spend on the internet? | ||
| A lot. | ||
| A lot. | ||
| Most people are on the internet for at least an hour a day. | ||
| You know, more so if you get a chance to be in front of a computer at work and you don't have a lot of shit to do. | ||
| A lot of people are online all the fucking time. | ||
| How much different is that than real life? | ||
| And imagine if real life had no censorship at all either. | ||
| In real life, you could buy all the drugs you wanted, get a gun whenever you wanted to, get a car wherever you wanted to. | ||
| I mean, you do everything that you could do online, you could do in real life with no restrictions whatsoever. | ||
| Sounds like metrics. | ||
| You wonder how much regulation do we actually need and how much could just exist under common sense? | ||
| I mean, could you allow someone to really stockpile a fucking huge ammo dump and have an armory of vehicles and tanks and shit? | ||
| Oh man, you got to stop doing that. | ||
| would you have to knock on their door and go, What are you doing over here? | ||
| Why do you have a B1 bomber? | ||
| What the fuck's going on? | ||
| You got a stealth fighter playing in your backyard, bitch. | ||
| What are you planning on doing, man? | ||
| I live right now the street. | ||
| Yeah, hi. | ||
| Nice to meet you. | ||
| Yeah, our kids go to school together, I think? | ||
| Yeah, okay, cool. | ||
| Are you an army? | ||
| What's happening here? | ||
| Should there be any restrictions whatsoever? | ||
| And if there weren't, if you look at the way people have sort of learned how to express themselves on the internet, I think the internet went through like a real bad time. | ||
| And now I think it's slowly starting to level out where people are less and less tolerant of assholes, less and less tolerant of trolls, less and less. | ||
| That dude that got busted that was on Reddit, you know, about that story with a guy. | ||
| He was doing a lot of creepy shit online, like, because that's what got him off, like, posting fucked up pictures and saying fucked up things about things. | ||
| And these people found out who he was in real life, and they contacted his employer, and he got fired for operating under a pseudonym online, under a completely different name than his own, not representing their company in any way, shape, or form. | ||
| But because they established that it was him, they went after him and decided that his actions and the way he was behaving outside during his own free time, they could fire him for that, regardless of how well he performed at work, which is really weird. | ||
| But it also sends a message. | ||
| It sends a message that, well, no, we're more concerned with humanity than we are with this idea that you have these irrefutable rights. | ||
| Like, yes, you have irrefutable rights, but if you're posting pictures of dead kids online, you might be a piece of shit, and I might not want you to have anything to do with my life. | ||
| And just because we work together, like, I should be able to remove that. | ||
| I should be able to stop that. | ||
| So in that sense, I think it's sort of the anonymity is slowly slipping away. | ||
| But for people that have never been anonymous, like me or Brian, I think you're better off that way. | ||
| You're better off. | ||
| It would be better off for everybody if we all figured out how to treat each other a lot better online and be chill. | ||
| And I think people, because there was no repercussions for a long time, they just, they had an experience that they shouldn't have had. | ||
| They had the ability to affect someone with nothing coming back your way. | ||
| No social repercussions. | ||
| And that's like not normal for humans. | ||
| You can't do that in real life, right? | ||
| Why should you be able to do it online? | ||
| Well, we're not set up for it. | ||
| We're not. | ||
| And I think this is a total, it's such a totally new experience that I think human beings, our culture and I think all cultures in general, went into this completely ignorant to the repercussions of it, completely ignorant to how it was going to operate and what the effects of human beings and human instincts are going to be when confronted with this completely non-human scenario. | ||
| The ability to communicate with people who don't know who you are and not just communicate, like yell something out from a hill, but write detailed shit about them, you know, and send some mean, you know, angry letter to them. | ||
| And you could do that in this burst and not have anything come back to you. | ||
| And because of that, because people have this unique ability to reach people like that, it presented this thing that hadn't been resolved yet in the human body and in the human culture. | ||
| And like, you know, our ways of resolving conflicts one-on-one have been pretty clearly established. | ||
| You know, the way people should and shouldn't treat each other. | ||
| It's in the Bible. | ||
| You know, love your brother and all that shit. | ||
| It's all like the idea is, look, this is the best way to operate a world. | ||
| We have to figure out how to resolve these conflicts when they appear. | ||
| Well, these conflicts had never appeared before. | ||
| They literally didn't exist until our generation. | ||
| And that's something that is escaping a lot of people. | ||
| A lot of people are not, they haven't really truly wrapped their heads on the insanity that is the internet and what it's done to human culture. | ||
| But I think we've sort of wobbled it and have got a way better handle on it now. | ||
| And I think that you see way less and less douchey shit, way less and less people that just want to be assholes. | ||
| It's less. | ||
| I think if you could see statistics on internet trolling and douchebags on Twitter and stuff like that, I think it's slowly tapered off. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I don't think it's just for me. | ||
| I think it's always going to be a good supply. | ||
| Always. | ||
| Just like there's always going to be monkeys that throw shit at each other. | ||
| There's always. | ||
| But I think it's better. | ||
| Yeah, I've even had people online on poker talk crap to me and say how they're going to mess me up in Vegas. | ||
| And then I see them at the table and they're like, hey, I'm so-and-so. | ||
| Like they're trying to be all nice to me. | ||
| And I'm just like, wait a second. | ||
| You were talking this shit to me online and now you're trying to be my friend. | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| Do you confront them? | ||
| I don't, but I should. | ||
| Poker players are like, it's a weird way to make a living, man. | ||
| Oh, you know? | ||
| I've met a lot of poker players. | ||
| And first of all, they're all like really intense dudes. | ||
| Everyone is like an intense and like they're all very focused. | ||
| When you're having conversations with them, there's no dumb professional poker players. | ||
| It just doesn't seem like you can really pull that off. | ||
| Are there? | ||
| That I don't know about? | ||
| Well, dumb how? | ||
| That must be. | ||
|
unidentified
|
College-ish, like snowman or just intelligence in general. | |
| There's a big difference, in my opinion, between intelligence and education. | ||
| I've met a lot of people that are really educated, but stupid as fuck. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| They just repeat shit, and you're like, wait a minute, are you not getting the connection to why that doesn't fucking work? | ||
| There's no thinking on their own. | ||
| It's repeating shit. | ||
| But then there's a lot of people that have barely a high school diploma and they're sharp as fuck. | ||
| Well, you know, it's interesting you just said that there was a kid online that didn't graduate high school, yet he made millions of dollars playing poker. | ||
| Quentin Tarantino didn't graduate high school. | ||
| Yeah, most of them. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| We were just talking about Django. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Dropouts. | ||
| There's your God. | ||
| A lot of people, I mean, there's a lot of successful people that I know even that just didn't finish. | ||
| I mean, I dropped out of college with one semester to go. | ||
| Oh, I didn't finish college. | ||
| I did three years at UMass Boston, and the only reason I did it was because I didn't want people thinking I was a loser. | ||
| I didn't even come close to graduating. | ||
| I had a lot of shit that I, like, if I wanted to, like, first of all, I was taking like elective courses. | ||
| I was taking whatever courses I wanted to because it was on like, they have a thing, like they had, like, different programs for people that had jobs. | ||
| You know, I forget what they call it, adult education or something. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, secondary education, remember? | ||
| Yeah, because I took like a year off and then I started doing this, and I was barely paying attention. | ||
| I was barely, you know, I've learned way more through documentaries than I did for those three years of showing up at this building to wonder what the fuck I'm doing with my life. | ||
| I was just talking about this the other day. | ||
| I was like, are colleges necessary anymore? | ||
| I mean, you could take your iPhone and figure out everything you need to figure out about, you know, French or Spanish or anything you want to learn. | ||
| You can do it online. | ||
| What's dope about college is that college gives you an opportunity to be excited by new and different people and new points of view. | ||
| And I missed that. | ||
| I missed that aspect of college. | ||
| The social aspect. | ||
| Yeah, I couldn't go anywhere. | ||
| Well, I could, but when I had graduated high school, some of my competitive taekwondo days. | ||
| So from 18 through 21 was like my most competitive days, like when I was completely dedicated to it. | ||
| And the idea of me going somewhere else to go to school was like, there's no way, I couldn't, I had a really good instructor and a really good team. | ||
| I was like, I'm not going anywhere. | ||
| I'm not going to move somewhere and go to school. | ||
| For what? | ||
| I mean, I don't even know what the fuck I want to do. | ||
| I had no aspirations whatsoever. | ||
| But I got so tired of everybody telling me, you know, what are you doing after school? | ||
| Oh, you know, for a while, I would say I was training for the Olympics because I was trying to make the U.S. Olympic taekwondo team. | ||
| And then I gave up on saying that when I started kickboxing. | ||
| And I started getting beat up. | ||
| And I was like, oh, man, taekwondo has some fucking holes in it, man. | ||
| So then I stopped wanting to do that. | ||
| But the idea that I was just trying to find some other path in life and figure out what I wanted to do, like, is terrifying to say to someone because all I heard out of my own mouth was, oh, I'm a fucking loser. | ||
| And I'm always going to be a loser. | ||
| I'm never going to figure it out. | ||
| I'm never going to be able to take care of myself. | ||
| That's all I thought of when I said it. | ||
| But today, shit, man, you could learn at least as much online as you could in a school. | ||
| Most likely more because you're going to have way more access to information than just the few books that this one guy subscribes to you. | ||
| Yeah, it's basically just someone reading out of a book to you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is what it is. | ||
| But not only that, you can do it all day, every day, wherever you are. | ||
| The crazy thing about online, especially if you've got a big phone, like one of those tablet phones or something like that, you could fucking read like websites and books. | ||
| You could do it all day long. | ||
| As long as you have a signal that can come to you, you have access to pretty much every question that's ever been asked. | ||
| If not the answer, a slew of different competing answers that you might not even get, especially if you go to like Brigham Young University and meet up with the Mormon. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You got to be careful. | ||
| That's got to be fucking the most devastating thing for religions, the access to information. | ||
| The more people are finding out, like, well, I remember when I was a Catholic, right? | ||
| And we had friends that were Jewish because, you know, you live in New York. | ||
| When I was a little kid, I was living in New Jersey. | ||
| Like, that area of the East Coast was filled with Jewish people. | ||
| But I didn't understand what a Jew, I didn't even understand what it meant. | ||
| I would just hear someone say, oh, is he Jewish? | ||
| Yeah, he's the guy. | ||
| You know, that's Mr. Feinstein and his wife, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| I didn't know what that meant. | ||
| And then one day when I was in Catholic school, somebody, they were talking about different religions and Judaism got brought up. | ||
| And someone said, like the priest said something about the, you know, that the Jewish religion. | ||
| I was like, the Jewish? | ||
| Wait, that's Judaism? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| We're Judeo-Christian. | ||
| And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Is there more than one version of this story? | ||
| Like, are you fucking shitting me? | ||
| Just that. | ||
| Just them telling me about competing versions of the story. | ||
| If I could have gotten online when I was six and Googled, is religion bullshit? | ||
| And just gone through every fucking piece of information, which by the way, when you're six, you could fucking read, kinda, you know? | ||
| You could probably actually do this. | ||
| And you could figure out if you could ask, like, dad, what does collaborate mean? | ||
| You know, like, there's a few of those you'd have to throw out there. | ||
| But basically, you could get a pretty good idea of why you shouldn't pay attention to these crazy fucks, because every one of their story, they swear by, and every one of their stories is different than everybody else's fucking story. | ||
| And someone's got to be wrong. | ||
| You know, it's funny, my friend Stephanie, she posted on her Facebook the other day a picture of two people with reading, you know, Bibles, different, you know, beliefs, and it said, oh, yours is filled with BS too. | ||
| And she got someone from Saudi Arabia that just went nuts on her for, you know, and just defended his beliefs blindly. | ||
| You know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Allah! | |
| Allah has blessed me. | ||
| I used to do a whole bit about how Israelis and Palestinians, the Arabs and the Israelis are constantly at war, but they look so similar to each other. | ||
| And that was because they were sneaking over and getting forbidden sex. | ||
| And they were having angry, like, you know, angry opposing religion sex. | ||
| Like, you believe the crazy shit. | ||
| No, you believe the crazy shit. | ||
| Did you see that episode of Kirby Enthusiasm where Larry David takes back Palestinian lady from a chicken joint that he's not supposed to go to? | ||
| Well, he's, wait a minute, he's single now? | ||
| Larry David? | ||
| Yeah, in Kirby Enthusiasm? | ||
| In the show. | ||
| In the show, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Oh, he did get a workshop. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| Who the fuck ever does that? | ||
| They're friends, kind of, in the show. | ||
| Yeah, they're kind of friends. | ||
| I'm trying to get both of you. | ||
| So now he gets new chicks. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| And Joe, Larry Jackson. | ||
| She's sitting there. | ||
| Can I swear on this? | ||
| Oh, fuck you. | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| She's saying. | ||
| Did you really just ask that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I did ask that. | |
| She's saying, fuck me, Jew, when she's on top of it. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| Yeah, well, that's sort of an old bit. | ||
| Like, who used to do that? | ||
| There's a black guy that used to do about dating a white girl and making her say, fuck me with your big nigger cock. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then Sam Tripoli says it every other podcast. | ||
| Does Sam do that too? | ||
| Like every podcast? | ||
| When does he like to say that? | ||
| He likes to say that where he thinks he's being edgy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that what it is? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, that idea of the opposing, getting it off. | ||
| That existed for a long time. | ||
| The tension. | ||
| Forbidden. | ||
| Forbidden fruits. | ||
| The black girl in the white neighborhood. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Yeah, we're silly bitches, aren't we? | ||
| When it comes to forbidden fruit? | ||
| Yeah, we want what we can't have. | ||
| Do you do anything to tell the fighters how to concentrate on their diet when they're trying to like? | ||
| But as far as not thinking negative things, because a lot of times that's all they think about. | ||
| It's like, fuck, I wish I could eat. | ||
| Fuck, I wish I could eat. | ||
| No, I haven't actually dealt with that yet. | ||
| No, it's never come up. | ||
| I think that would be something. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Mike Dulce is one of the best guys at getting guys to make weight. | ||
| And he's also like, he's got a good mindset for coaching, good mindset for not bullshitting with you and straightening it. | ||
| And he gets them to this comp, like, we're eating healthy foods. | ||
| You're not killing yourself. | ||
| Your body's fine. | ||
| And they're like, yeah, body's fine. | ||
| I'm fine. | ||
| he can fucking tick tuck, tick, tuck. | ||
| But if you go on one of those spirals, it's like any other spiral. | ||
| If you get into that, fuck, I wish I could eat spiral. | ||
| Fuck, I wish I could do this. | ||
| I wish I could have a cigarette. | ||
| Fuck, I wish I could have a cigarette. | ||
| The moment you do that, you're putting yourself down that path. | ||
| I've seen people like this motherfucker, he started smoking cigarettes again because his cat hurt its foot. | ||
| Stop and think about that. | ||
| He was like looking for an excuse so much. | ||
| Fucking cat, cat hurt her foot. | ||
| What do I do, man? | ||
| The fucking cat's gonna limp now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is crazy. | |
| It wasn't because of that. | ||
| Like I've said, throw that cat in the bathroom with a litter box, come back in a couple days. | ||
| That was a ton of shit. | ||
| And that was just that thing that snapped the break. | ||
| Big bowl of food, a fresh litter box, locker in the kitchen. | ||
| Go to Palm Springs for the weekend, go somewhere. | ||
| Let that cat figure this shit out. | ||
| Let it do what it would do if it went to the cat emergency room out there in the wild. | ||
| Oh, it doesn't exist? | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Well, I guess then cats, you're not supposed to fix them. | ||
| Does your cat for no reason in the middle of night, like at four in the morning, just start going, like, what the fuck is that shit? | ||
| They're calling out. | ||
| System updates? | ||
| They call out. | ||
| They get bored. | ||
| They do it at night sometimes. | ||
| But the boy doesn't do that. | ||
| The boy's really quiet. | ||
| The boy doesn't really do that. | ||
| But the girl, she's, first of all, my girl cat's super fucking needy, man. | ||
| And she'll be like, meow, meow, meow. | ||
| Anytime I'm near her, you met meows. | ||
| She's like that. | ||
| Like, anytime you near her, meow, meow, meow. | ||
| And she only does that to me. | ||
| Because my wife is allergic to cats. | ||
| So she can't be like fucking with this cat. | ||
| So the cat gets mostly affection from me. | ||
| So when I'm around, but at the middle of the night, you just hear, meow, meow, meow, wow. | ||
| And I got to open the door and go, shut the fuck up. | ||
| Jesus, you needy bitch. | ||
| The cat father clock. | ||
| They don't even seem to understand as well as dogs do. | ||
| Meow wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mow wow. | |
| Exactly. | ||
| And she's not horny. | ||
| She's 16 years old. | ||
| And she's fixed. | ||
| Okay, so that's not the issue. | ||
| She's just being a needy bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mow wow. | |
| Most annoying sound ever. | ||
| I don't have a computer to get on. | ||
| So I'm fucking bored. | ||
| You don't have any mice in this house. | ||
| It's funny watching babies crush ants. | ||
| They don't give a fuck about ants. | ||
| Ew, yaki, kill, death. | ||
| My little two-year-old just crushing ants. | ||
| And then goes like this with their little bodies. | ||
| Just flicks her finger and they're out of her consciousness. | ||
| Like, she would never do that with a mouse. | ||
| Like, you couldn't stomp a mouse and just, like, kick its body into a corner somewhere. | ||
| You'd be like, oh, look at this mess. | ||
| You got to clean up. | ||
| But there's a certain level of dead body where we just tolerate it laying around. | ||
| And that's ants. | ||
| You can't do it with a roach. | ||
| You got to clean up a roach. | ||
| Roach are big. | ||
| They're disgusting. | ||
| Nah, fly you got to pick up unless you're a dude. | ||
| If you're a dude, you're watching TV and swat a fly. | ||
| You're like, oh yeah, I got him. | ||
| Fuck him. | ||
| Like on a table. | ||
| You might get up during a commercial and wipe it off. | ||
| I usually just flick it and forget about it. | ||
| But like a roach, that's big enough where you got to care. | ||
| But when you get to like mice and shit like that, anything that's got hair, you can't just kill it. | ||
| Caterpillar. | ||
| You got to clean it up. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| We obviously have a detachment based on the fact that it's like an out-of-sight, out-of-mind thing with a little tiny ant, and you crush it. | ||
| But the other thing is that there's so many of them, it's hard to give a fuck about them. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| There's so many ants that the mass of the weight of ants on Earth is about the same as the weight of humans. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Google that. | ||
| Google that. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| I'm not making that up. | ||
| Sleep tonight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Of course it's an estimation because I haven't been asked to be on any scale. | ||
| Have you? | ||
| I mean, they're really counting this. | ||
| Yeah, what is that? | ||
| Is there a census where you have to fucking show up somewhere and count? | ||
| Or do girls get to mail in their own weight? | ||
| Because then we got to start adding pounds all over the fucking place because no one's honest, right? | ||
| You know how those boner pills are made from ants? | ||
| They're made from ants. | ||
| Yeah, they're supposedly those boner pills. | ||
| What are they called again? | ||
| Hot rod 6,000 or 5,000. | ||
| Hot rod 5,000. | ||
| But supposedly there's ants in them. | ||
| They extract ants. | ||
| And I'm thinking, wow, so that means there's somebody, and it's like an ant farmer that has to extract the ants. | ||
| And then so like you buy those little ant farms, you're making boners. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| First of all, stop. | ||
| You got to, before you start talking about this online, Google and find out if they actually make this shit with ants. | ||
| it does I mean why would I why would I read a bottle and be like oh I guess it's Because I can show you five websites that say that. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| You can show me one website that has one article and they all copied it and put it on their website. | ||
| I looked. | ||
| It's the same exact story, verbatim. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, this is on the actual bottle, so unless they just decided to like it. | ||
| So the bottle says, okay, that's. | ||
| It says it has ants. | ||
| It's in silence. | ||
| It's like something ants extract. | ||
| It's an ant extract? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Type in X ant extract. | ||
| That's what they're calling it, man. | ||
| It's fucking Sialis. | ||
| You know that Brazilian wandering spider? | ||
| That's what they're trying to figure out with that thing, why it causes erections. | ||
| And they're going to try to turn that into the next super Viagra. | ||
| You've heard of that shit? | ||
| The Brazilian wandering spider, it kills you and gives you this unbelievable boner before you die. | ||
| Most people die of it, but apparently if you live, your dick's done. | ||
| It's like taking an engine and just redlining it. | ||
| Just, you know, it's hitting the fucking the bottom of the tachometer and then it just explodes. | ||
| The engine blows up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So most people, they don't live from it, but if you do live, your dick's broken. | ||
| So they're trying to take that, as smart people would, and turn that into a boner pill. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| That sounds a little dangerous. | ||
| Here's ant extract. | ||
| This one's just called super ant, and you can buy it for $34, and it's just extracted ants, and they're wildly used in Asia to promote strength, sexual vigor. | ||
| Vigor. | ||
| Vigoir. | ||
| It's a powerful anti-aging thing. | ||
| So we have all these ants. | ||
| There's so much fucking ants that we could fucking all have boners. | ||
| I don't think they're the same forever. | ||
| Knucklehead. | ||
| I don't think you're talking about the same ants. | ||
| I bet that's a very specific type of ant. | ||
| What does the FDA have to say about it? | ||
| 50% ground, raw ant. | ||
| 50% ant extract. | ||
| Ew. | ||
| Does it say that? | ||
| Ground, raw ants and ant extracts. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| What is extract? | ||
| That means they've taken a bunch of ants and extracted it. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Each pill you take is like 5,000 million ants probably. | ||
| Their little boners all adds up. | ||
| An analogy is that they have celery and celery juice all together in the same bowl, right? | ||
| The ants and the ant extract. | ||
| They just crush up the ants. | ||
| Yeah, so the ant is like the hard part, and then the extract is like the gooey stuff that keeps it all together. | ||
| Yeah, meanwhile, it probably does nothing. | ||
| I'm going to create a salamander pill tomorrow that makes you live 10 years longer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's got rather views. | |
| People buy it. | ||
| I might give you one of these hot. | ||
| Duncan swears by it now. | ||
| I wonder who writes these. | ||
| This is one of supplement critiques. | ||
| And it's like all talking about how hard your cock is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, I've heard of this stuff before, though. | ||
| It's called Uri Coma Longfolia. | ||
| And it's supposed to be a natural testosterone booster. | ||
| Also, this stuff, I think this stuff has a lot of shit in it that probably would give you a boner. | ||
| Whether it's the ant, maybe that's... | ||
| It's just one of the ingredients in this. | ||
| But that longfulia shit, that is supposed to be a testosterone booster. | ||
| There's a few of those. | ||
| There's like something called Tongat Ali. | ||
| That's supposed to be a natural. | ||
| And then there's Tribulus, which everybody knows, which apparently varies pretty widely in strength and efficacy. | ||
| I think it's sort of like garlic or some things like you'll get garlic and it's not that strong. | ||
| And sometimes you'll get it. | ||
| You're like, holy shit, this is powerful garlic. | ||
| Or like the way a tomato tastes, like a beefsteak tomato from someone's backyard versus one of those pale tomatoes. | ||
| I think you get that same sort of shit with a lot of these herbal supplements. | ||
| I bet if you could get that stuff like from the plant instead of like some ground up powdered bullshit, I bet if you could get like tribulus. | ||
| I think tribulus is a root, right? | ||
| Is it a root? | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| I bet if you get that shit right from the tree, it'd make your dick like a goddamn crowbar. | ||
| I found out you shouldn't take any of these pills if you do ecstasy. | ||
| At the same time, you could like fuck your shit up really bad. | ||
| You'd break your dick like that. | ||
| No, your heart. | ||
| Your heart. | ||
| Your heart. | ||
| You're going to go up. | ||
| Maybe your heart, bitch. | ||
| My heart would be fine. | ||
| But that seems like the best mix, but it. | ||
| Yeah, that's what Eddie Bravo calls fucking. | ||
| Phone or flipping. | ||
| Fuck ecstasy. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, just take Viagra, crazy. | ||
| You don't have to take these nutty pills. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| But that's what I'm saying. | ||
| You shouldn't take Viagra in ecstasy or any of this stuff because if it has any kind of the Viagra or slot, you're not supposed to take that with ecstasy. | ||
| There's some real dangers there. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, it fucks your heart up. | ||
| Bullshit. | ||
| Google it. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| Don't take Viagra with ecstasy. | ||
| Viagra ecstasy. | ||
| I learned it on whatever, that Arrowin. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay, Arrowwood. | ||
| Yeah, Arrowid. | ||
| I still did it, but whatever. | ||
| Well, you are a little bit on the edge, and you're a wild man. | ||
| Yeah, let's see. | ||
| Don't take Viagra with ecstasy. | ||
| Secastasy. | ||
| Don't mix. | ||
| But I know so many people that say it's awesome. | ||
| Oh, yeah, it's awesome because they don't know you shouldn't be doing it. | ||
| Well, and you shouldn't be drinking either. | ||
| Yeah, well, you stopped that. | ||
| That's all this stuff kills you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You smoke secretary? | ||
| I don't usually talk about taking ecstasy. | ||
| When I'm on ecstasy, I usually don't drink that much. | ||
| I usually just drink orange juice and water and Gatorade and fucking tons of water and I pee a lot. | ||
| There's several dangers in combining Viagra and ecstasy. | ||
| First of all, ecstasy is a powerful, mind-altering drug that impairs judgment. | ||
| When I talk like that, it means I'm reading something. | ||
| Combining it with Viagra encourages people to engage in unsafe and risky sexual behavior, aka Brian's whole life. | ||
| Okay, so you're saying that it's dangerous because of that? | ||
| Public health officials feel that this combo will increase the spread of AIDS and or other sexually transmitted diseases. | ||
| First of all, if you have a real medical issue, here's what happens. | ||
| First of all, you don't say that first. | ||
| So I don't believe them. | ||
| Because saying that first means that the most important thing is to stop butt sex. | ||
| That's what you're trying to do. | ||
| You're trying to stop AIDS. | ||
| You're trying to say that people are going to get sexually crazy and sexually risky. | ||
| Okay, that is not an argument. | ||
| You can't tell me what I'm going to do. | ||
| You can't tell me, you know, I can handle being drunk. | ||
| I don't drive when I'm drunk. | ||
| I don't get fucked up and go butt fuck. | ||
| OK, what you're telling me is I don't think it's dangerous. | ||
| I don't think it's dangerous at all. | ||
| I think it's dangerous for some people. | ||
| Just like cars are dangerous for some people. | ||
| If you give them a cell phone, they text. | ||
| Because some people have shitty fucking self-control. | ||
| But I don't think that this, there's no, there's no like argument medically in that. | ||
| I mean, there might be this thing called preopism, and preapism is like the boners that won't go down. | ||
| But that's just from taking ecstasy. | ||
| Or Viagra, rather. | ||
| That you can get that in a Viagra situation. | ||
| Like the fact that you're on ecstasy, it doesn't. | ||
| It makes it worse, though, because now every time your dick has better. | ||
| Yeah, your dick has a heartbeat, and then you need to have somebody swallow that. | ||
| I think so few people have that problem with those boner pills where they actually have to go to a doctor. | ||
| Because if you have that, that's like an erection that you have to go to a doctor for, right? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| It even says on the commercials, boner is made last up to three days. | ||
| Well, that disease, though, that priapism, which is the technical term, that can kill your dick just like the Brazilian wandering spider can kill your dick. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| The exact same thing, in fact. | ||
| So don't go into the jungle. | ||
| Well, if you can OD on Viagra, like, say, what if there's a chick and you're dying to have sex with her and you think tonight is the night, but you're so scared that you're afraid that you're never going to be able to get it up because you're just going to be in a panic. | ||
| You know, you know what? | ||
| I'm going to take six Viagra just in case. | ||
| This bitch is so hot. | ||
| And then your crazy ass, which by the way exists, I'm sure some dude exists. | ||
| Oh, some of six Viagra's. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| And just decided they want a dick that's purple. | ||
| Just an angry purple, bursting cock, like a ballpark frank. | ||
| One of those ballpark franks that you like suspend, not like an amateur would do it and like burn the outside. | ||
| No, a slow cooker where that motherfucker's greasy and sweating and just getting giganti. | ||
| That's what your dick looks like. | ||
| And you start to slowly see little splits in the seams. | ||
| We have thin red lines around your cock in various places because the skin is fucking bursting like a stretch mark in a fat lady's stomach after she has three kids inside of it. | ||
| And they pop out triplets and then her skin has to go back to normal. | ||
| That's what your dick looks like. | ||
| That kind of stretched out, crazy scar tissue where your dick is just barely holding on like a fucking balloon that's being pushed to the limit. | ||
| Matt just got up and went to take a leak. | ||
| That's how thrilling my story was. | ||
| He's on ecstasy. | ||
| All the blowing up dick is too much. | ||
| He's going to go beat off. | ||
| I guarantee you all right now imagine you on Viagra and you are fucking peaking on ecstasy, and you have this crazy rock hard boner, and you're in a waterbed with this guy. | ||
| Those two medications might cause you to just forget that. | ||
| To forget that's a dude, rather? | ||
| Yeah, that's a strange look. | ||
| This guy that Brian pulled up has long, blonde, beautiful hair, and he also has a dark, dark beard. | ||
| And somebody put that online. | ||
| Give the dude props. | ||
| Who is it that put that online? | ||
| Rhubarb. | ||
| Rhubarb, powerful rhubarb with the Wolverine avatar, so you know he's got some taste. | ||
| Powerful X-Men fan. | ||
| And this guy has some sort of a G-string type thing up his butt crack, and he's very well built and looks very handsome. | ||
| Perhaps like Middle East or Spanish, maybe a Spaniard, but like a thick, weightlifting Dave Navarro. | ||
| There's a nice whip. | ||
| Thick, solid, and tight, as the underground would say. | ||
| Yeah, that's a big boy. | ||
| That guy's got some horsepower to his fucking body. | ||
| So you're an ex-C with Viagra in a waterbed at a fucking W. It looks like we're going to fight to the death. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| That's what I think they're trying to say with those two trucks. | ||
| Me and that dude are fighting to the death. | ||
| That's what I think is going to happen. | ||
| If you insist on pursuing this line of action, sir, we will have to fight to the death. | ||
| The only other thing is that ecstasy causes high blood pressure and dehydration and that Viagra only worsens those effects. | ||
| But all that means to me is that you have to drink water. | ||
| Like, don't be stupid. | ||
| Yeah, but sometimes when you're on ecstasy, it's hard to even drink anything because you feel like you're going to puke it back up. | ||
| But see, you know what I didn't hear here? | ||
| I didn't hear strokes. | ||
| I didn't hear cancer. | ||
| I didn't hear any of the shit that would keep me from doing ecstasy and Viagra at the same time. | ||
| I heard nothing. | ||
| I heard, if this kills you, you're kind of a pussy. | ||
| That's what I heard. | ||
| That's what I'm getting out of this. | ||
| If you die from ecstasy and Viagra together, you're kind of a pussy. | ||
| Not saying you should take Viagra and ecstasy together. | ||
| In fact, I'm saying you definitely shouldn't take Viagra and ecstasy together. | ||
| It doesn't say nothing for the heart. | ||
| I'm saying you shouldn't for spiritual reasons. | ||
| I think, you know, when you're involved in that ecstasy-feely, touchy thing, it should be non-sexual. | ||
| It should be that you can't get it up. | ||
| Just enjoy it as a human being. | ||
| Everything doesn't have to be about sticking your dirty loads places, Brian. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| It doesn't have to be. | ||
| It has to be all about you shooting loads all over the place. | ||
| How about you let it go, pal? | ||
| Just be in the moment. | ||
| Hold hands with somebody. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I masturbated and I used a paper towel to clean up and I just threw it on my coffee table. | ||
| And then my friend came over and we were watching a show and she goes, like, she sneezed and she goes, can I use this paper towel? | ||
| I'm like, sure. | ||
| I forgot that was the load paper towel. | ||
| She's like, oh, what's on this? | ||
| And it got over here. | ||
| Oh, nice. | ||
| Well, that's a nice way to sort of get someone to touch your cum if you're really into that. | ||
| Yeah, and a great cum DNA is on her hand. | ||
| Yeah, if you wanted to cum bomb somebody. | ||
| Speaking of cum bombing, I got to thank Chris Calver. | ||
| He's the guy who made this Buddha statue. | ||
| Can you get that right? | ||
| I like it. | ||
| Yeah, check this shit out. | ||
| Where is it? | ||
| There it is. | ||
| That's cool as fuck, man. | ||
| That's your tattoo. | ||
| It's exactly like pretty close. | ||
| He just made it in a physical form with the third eye. | ||
| You can see it. | ||
| And by the way, this position that this thing is, I didn't ask him to do this, but what's hilarious is that this is exactly the reason I got this tattoo is because I had this crazy DMT trip that really like made me reassess reality, made me reassess my life. | ||
| And one of the most humbling aspects of the trip, there was an infinite series of these golden Buddhas that was flying in front of me and trying to explain like positive energy and life to me. | ||
| And I turned it into a tattoo. | ||
| And it literally looked like that in the DMT trip. | ||
| Like literally looked just like this thing. | ||
| Except it was made out of some strange kind of light and there was no borders to it. | ||
| If that makes any sense. | ||
| It does. | ||
| It shouldn't. | ||
| DMT has this very intense like almost like a 2D sort of a thing that happens sometimes where everything sort of seems connected on one plane, but then you realize that it's just this crazy sort of fractal thing going on. | ||
| And when that was happening in that trip, this is what I saw. | ||
| I saw these things just like everywhere. | ||
| What do I mean to you? | ||
| Mental as high as fuck. | ||
| What kind of question is that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You can't, you know, you can't never know. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| When you're on psychedelics, there's so much different shit that's going on. | ||
| Like for anybody to say, I know that this happened, I know that that happened. | ||
| And I have said those things, you can't be right. | ||
| You don't know what the fuck happened. | ||
| It's all interpretation. | ||
| And you're on a fucking crazy drug, man. | ||
| There's a lot going on there. | ||
| I wouldn't really bank on any one possible answer to any of your shit. | ||
| True. | ||
| You play a lot of professional poker? | ||
| Do you take different things like before you play? | ||
| Do you smoke? | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| Smoke a lot of weed. | ||
| Depending upon the area. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| Of course, only where it's legal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because it could be tricky getting some weed and some spots. | ||
| It could be, yeah. | ||
| I would say, I mean, Alpha Brain the last year I've been taking, and I've found it to be beneficial, definitely. | ||
| It makes me more clear about, you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, when I take it, I just feel like my thoughts are just clear. | ||
| They're clearer. | ||
| Well, it feels to me that you're getting what your brain needs in order to function best. | ||
| It just seems like that, nutrition-wise. | ||
| How many do you take? | ||
| Usually just two. | ||
| Do you take it right before you do an event? | ||
| How do you do it? | ||
| Like when I play online, like on Sundays is the biggest day for poker. | ||
| So I'll take it like when I wake up, like when I'm making my shake or whatever. | ||
| I take four before every UFC. | ||
| Four? | ||
| Four. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Four. | |
| Yep. | ||
| It says on here you should only take a maximum of three. | ||
| Oh, wait, no, I did. | ||
| I'm fine. | ||
| Oh, it says do not exceed four capsules in 24 hours. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I violate that, too. | ||
| Should I say four? | ||
| You probably don't listen to me, but I do. | ||
| Yeah, if I'm doing like a UFC, first of all, UFCs, there's a lot that's going on when you're watching a fight, and especially when it comes to describing ground positions, it's really hard to coordinate your thoughts. | ||
| Like, okay, he's got his right foot in this position. | ||
| Now, what he's got to do to finish this off is he's got to turn his, and then I'm like, He's got to get his left foot underneath his right knee. | ||
| And then, like, and I have to get this all done. | ||
| I have to get it all out in a way that people are going to be able to understand while the fight is actually happening. | ||
| So, I got to kind of like manage. | ||
| First of all, I have to see what he's doing. | ||
| So, I have to know what direction he can do and what the counter could possibly be. | ||
| And then, when I see a guy going after him, I want to get the audience excited. | ||
| I want to say, this is where he's in trouble. | ||
| Like, see this, this is pulling down on his neck, and he's in a bad situation here. | ||
| And if he could get his leg over here, then it's over. | ||
| You know, and the alpha brain and any nootropics, I took that Neuro 1 shit before I took alpha brain. | ||
| I noticed a difference. | ||
| I noticed that I could get sentences out clear. | ||
| My thoughts formed. | ||
| It seemed like they formulated easier. | ||
| You know, it just makes sense. | ||
| I mean, they've isolated a bunch of different shit that improves your memory, statistically proven. | ||
| Like, you can see people have taken it, and then people have. | ||
| They've done double-blind tests on different nootropics when it comes to memory enhancement. | ||
| And there's like paracetam and a bunch of different ones that are really interesting. | ||
| As is caffeine, you know, caffeine has a performance-enhancing quality as well. | ||
| Absolutely, because you're more jacked up. | ||
| Yeah, there's some shit going. | ||
| I mean, that's why you can only take, like, in certain, I think in the Olympics, and I think even in the Nevada State Athletic Commission, they have a limit to how much caffeine a fighter can have in their system. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| Yeah, Chale Sunnin actually set us hip to that because he does it in a pill form to make sure that he never takes more than you're supposed to because you could get like Starbucks, like this one, like be a venti. | ||
| If you have a Starbucks Venti and you compare that to like coffee that you're going to get at Jerry's Deli, this is a big difference. | ||
| It's a difference, yeah. | ||
| Depends who makes it too. | ||
| I mean, it might be just different, you know, put more or less in there. | ||
| Yeah, the Starbucks ones have insane amounts of caffeine. | ||
| So it might be possible to actually like piss hot for caffeine if you drank like a bunch of if you drink, I wonder how many you would have to drink, like how many ventis. | ||
| I bet you could only drink like a couple before you die. | ||
| No, there's dudes who could drink that shit all day. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Drink that. | ||
| Dave Foley. | ||
| Dave Foley got to the point where he was drinking so much coffee a day that he had to drink it black because he was drinking several quarts of half and half a day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| That's insane. | ||
| Dude, I'm not bullshitting. | ||
| He used to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| He doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| He loves it. | ||
| He loves coffee. | ||
| He used to drink it by the pot. | ||
| We should get him back on the podcast. | ||
| I miss that guy. | ||
| I'd love the fuck out of that dude. | ||
| He's a great guy. | ||
| Why isn't the caffeine cont listed for Starbucks beverages? | ||
| Apparently people want. | ||
| Caffeine content is variable, and Starbucks currently doesn't have any quantitative caffeine information for all of our beverages. | ||
| We intend on adding caffeine information in a future upgrade. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| We don't have the... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Why am I shaking? | ||
| Why am I shaking if I don't get my coffee? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Did they even test it? | ||
| I wonder if they even test it. | ||
| Like, they even know. | ||
| They'd probably test it and go, what the fuck? | ||
| Close the door. | ||
| Light this place on fire. | ||
| Kill everybody that saw the results. | ||
| Like, we got to retreat and figure out what we're going to tell people before we come back. | ||
| I bet Starbucks, not only would they not test it, they should find out what equipment is used to test caffeine levels and buy them all out and burn them. | ||
| Blow them up, okay? | ||
| Because it's really clear we are redlining people to the fucking gills. | ||
| Oh, I don't think we know what we're doing with a lot of stuff. | ||
| Yeah, there's apparently there's a caffeine database. | ||
| You can find out how much different things have in it. | ||
| And it's all about milligrams per fluid ounce. | ||
| And like, say, like, if you would go with like a Red Bull, let's see if we could find Red Bull here. | ||
| Some of them are crazy, man. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| There's something called 5150 juice. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It has 16,000 milligrams of caffeine per every 500 fluid ounces. | ||
| I tell you, I live mostly off just a Trenta a day and, you know, coconut water. | ||
| That doesn't make sense. | ||
| But hold on a second. | ||
| That doesn't make any sense. | ||
| How is it 500 fluid ounces? | ||
| That's two. | ||
| Of course it would be much larger than everybody else's because everybody else is like 11 fluid ounces and six fluid ounces. | ||
| So this is 500 fluid ounces. | ||
| What are they doing? | ||
| They're measuring it for a jug? | ||
| That's so stupid. | ||
| How the fuck did that even get included? | ||
| I can't even believe it. | ||
| Because most people can't do the math to get it down to where it needs to be. | ||
| 500. | ||
| So what were you saying, Brian? | ||
| You have a Trenta? | ||
| Yeah, I'm pretty good on caffeine nowadays. | ||
| I usually just drink a Trenta and then, you know, coconut water and water most of the time now. | ||
| But I've been on those five-hour energy drinks a lot lately. | ||
| Is there anything negative with drinking those? | ||
| Because they're mostly, what, B12? | ||
| Yeah, no, B12 is water-soluble. | ||
| You piss it out if you have too much in it. | ||
| It's not dangerous. | ||
| It's very healthy. | ||
| B12 is a really good supplement. | ||
| More people should be on it. | ||
| B12 is great for your immune system. | ||
| B12 is just a good all-around energy supplement. | ||
| It's so good that people that work crazy hours, video games, sometimes like those guys that are forced to work like 16-hour days, like many days in a row when they're trying to complete people on sets, they give them B12 shots. | ||
| It's like super, super common. | ||
| They give you intramuscular B12 shots. | ||
| Wrestlers do that. | ||
| A lot of wrestlers do that before they compete. | ||
| They'll take like an intramuscular B12. | ||
| Yeah, so it's that healthy for you. | ||
| So it's way better than Starbucks. | ||
| Because Starbucks, I mean, although it is delicious and I'm drinking some right now, there's a lot of fucking caffeine in that bitch. | ||
| A Venti Starbucks brewed coffee, a regular cup of coffee that you would get at a diner, the average cup of coffee, an eight-ounce cup of coffee, has 180 milligrams of caffeine. | ||
| A Venti Starbucks has 415 as tested in this test. | ||
| So I don't know if, you know, this test, who knows? | ||
| I mean, it might have been one really strong batch. | ||
| I don't know how many batches they tested. | ||
| I don't know if this guy just made all these numbers up and put it on his websites, which is very possible. | ||
| Starbucks should sell a caffeine-free decaffeinated coffee that they add B12 to. | ||
| Well, one of the things, that is a good idea. | ||
| One of the things that you have to remember, if you say decaffeinated, decaf coffee has caffeine. | ||
| Even in just very small amounts. | ||
| No, no, it has quite a lot. | ||
| In fact, some people say that there are decaf coffee. | ||
| Let's find out how much it has. | ||
| So we already established that a tall, okay, let's a tall brewed coffee from Starbucks has 260, as this guy's saying. | ||
| So let's find out how much caffeine decaf has in it, because I know there's some in there. | ||
| And it's not a little amount. | ||
| I think it's a lot. | ||
| How much caffeine? | ||
| I can't spell it. | ||
| Who told you guys? | ||
| What the fuck do I put back on? | ||
| No. | ||
| Does decaf and Starbucks have? | ||
| No, I know you can't get it all out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, Anna needs more food for the studio. | |
| I'll have some sent in. | ||
| What do you want? | ||
| More of those Buffalo things? | ||
| No. | ||
| How much caffeine does decaf contain? | ||
| It must. | ||
| I guarantee you there's caffeine in there. | ||
| So you play a lot of online pokers. | ||
| Have you noticed that there's a lot of cheaters online? | ||
| Is there a lot of programs? | ||
| I mean, is it even fair to play online nowadays? | ||
| That's a really good question. | ||
| I'll just address that by telling you a story. | ||
| When I was in college, I was in the library. | ||
| You know how they have those cubicles with computers in them? | ||
| I was walking by, and this was just when I got into poker, and I looked in one, and there was a guy playing poker. | ||
| So I was like, ah, knock on the door and see what's going on. | ||
| Knock on the door. | ||
| He opens up. | ||
| He's playing on the computer that they have there. | ||
| He's playing on a laptop and then another laptop. | ||
| Now, that wouldn't be that abnormal. | ||
| However, he's playing the same six-player tournament on all three. | ||
| So he essentially sees six cards out of 52, which gives you a gigantic advantage. | ||
| So yes, there's cheating, absolutely. | ||
| So he's playing as three different characters? | ||
| So there's six people. | ||
| It's called a sit-and-go. | ||
| So six people enter, and then top two get paid. | ||
| Is that legal, what he's doing? | ||
| No, absolutely not. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But it happens. | ||
| Yeah, it happens a lot. | ||
| Caffeine content of decaf is much less. | ||
| It says to label it decaf, it must have at least 97% of the caffeine removed. | ||
| So that leaves about 5 milligrams as compared to 100 to 150 for 6 ounces of brewed coffee. | ||
| They're saying 150, the other one I think said, a little bit more. | ||
| But I think it's variable, obviously. | ||
| And they're talking about 6 ounces. | ||
| So that's 5 milligrams. | ||
| It's not very much. | ||
| No. | ||
| So it's definitely not going in. | ||
| But if you're sensitive to caffeine and you drink quite a few of those, you've got to think 5, 10, 15, 20. | ||
| Now you're starting to get to a point where you might feel it. | ||
| But as opposed to like 100, which is like a regular cup of coffee or more. | ||
| So to a point, it is broken, the online poker, because you could pretty much just gang up on people. | ||
| So like a single noob person sitting there, you could just pretty much play all the other characters, fucking rule the game. | ||
| Yeah, so the problem is with cash games and with smaller tournaments, when you get bigger tournaments that have 10,000 players in them, it's not such a big deal. | ||
| But yeah, there's definitely some cheating going on. | ||
| And I've had multiple times where I'm like, there's something fishy going on here. | ||
| What about bots? | ||
| Is that an issue? | ||
| Not really. | ||
| They can beat like low stakes, but when you get people that recognize patterns, good players that recognize patterns, they're going to know you're a bot and just take advantage of it. | ||
| But when you're, I heard this has been done. | ||
| I don't know if it's still being done, but that say if you would go into a room and it was like a six-person table, like they're allowed to have artificial people. | ||
| They're allowed to have, like, they could run a bot that's playing you. | ||
| I don't think it's allowed. | ||
| No? | ||
| No, I don't think it's allowed. | ||
| I think when the sites find them, they shut them down. | ||
| Okay, so that's just misinformation. | ||
| So if someone says that they played against three bots and one other dude, it's not right. | ||
| Well, they may have been, but it's not like. | ||
| Where is it legal to gamble now? | ||
| Still not legal to gamble if it's an American website, right? | ||
| We're not allowed to play poker in our own homes. | ||
| We're not consulting adults. | ||
| You're not even allowed to play poker poker with money, right? | ||
| We can do that still, but only in Vegas. | ||
| Only in Vegas. | ||
| In casinos, in casinos. | ||
| Yeah, but what if you're at home? | ||
| Like, are you allowed to have a poker game with a bunch of your friends and you have like stacks of hundreds on the table and you're getting crazy and drinking? | ||
| Is that legal? | ||
| No. | ||
| Well, yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The way it is, is like if the house takes a rake, it's illegal. | |
| If you're just playing with your friends and, you know, it's either like five bucks, you say, hey, we'll play for five bucks. | ||
| What if you play for $50,000? | ||
| That's fine, I think, as long as there's no rake being collected. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| Actually, I don't know that for a fact, but I'm pretty sure that's what it is. | ||
| I feel like you would have to pay taxes on that shit, and then it's illegal going to it. | ||
| You still have to pay taxes. | ||
| You have to claim it. | ||
| That's another reason why they made it illegal here, is because the taxes were just, they were not being paid by a lot of people because it's based offshore. | ||
| It was based in Ireland, England, and Costa Rica. | ||
| Were the three biggest sites? | ||
| I mean, isn't that an IRS problem? | ||
| How could they deny the entire, I mean, it seems like it's a technology issue. | ||
| How could you deny an entire industry? | ||
| They weren't getting paid off. | ||
| It's about the money. | ||
| They're not getting revenue because the sites are based offshore. | ||
| So they're only getting revenue when people pay their taxes. | ||
| Well, why don't they just allow people to have sites onshore and then make the money from that and then say, yeah, and then say if you have an offshore one, you have to pay taxes on it or we'll get you. | ||
| Listen, there's a lot of things in this world that just don't make any sense. | ||
| I could fix so much of this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| It's just simple logic. | ||
| Logic. | ||
| Hey, listen. | ||
| I mean, it's incredibly terrible that I have to play. | ||
| I mean, I like Mexico. | ||
| I'm right on the beach. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| There's a lot of dolphins that swim by. | ||
| But is that where you live? | ||
| Right now, yeah. | ||
| I live in Mexico. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| I have a house. | ||
| Jacey lives there too, right? | ||
| JC still lives in Mexico City? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you live in Mexico near the beach. | ||
| Don't say where because they will come get you. | ||
| They'll know about you. | ||
| Yeah, I live right on the beach. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| I love listening to the waves as I go to sleep. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| But I miss a lot of things about the states. | ||
| Like the law? | ||
| Yeah, the law, the food. | ||
| There's a lot of things I miss. | ||
| Have you ever seen any crazy shit living in Mexico? | ||
| Have you seen some things that have made you go, oh, okay, we're not in Kansas anymore? | ||
| Yeah, one of the first days I was there, I went for a run on the beach, and there's like a cliff, and it's kind of secluded on one end, and there were two people just banging it out right there. | ||
| Banging out sexually? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That was fine. | ||
| That was fine. | ||
| But no, as far as like weird things. | ||
| I mean, did you watch? | ||
| Did you sit there? | ||
| Yeah, I let him finish. | ||
| I was looking right in his eyes. | ||
| What I'm saying is you don't see very many crime situations. | ||
| No, I don't put myself in positions to be in that. | ||
| I basically stay in the resort the whole time. | ||
| I mean, I go out to go get food something. | ||
| So you live in a resort? | ||
| Yeah, basically. | ||
| They have like pools and tennis courts, basketball courts, stuff like that. | ||
| So you just stay in the resort? | ||
| Basically. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So you're like living in an apartment that's surrounded by a whole nother country that you don't venture into. | ||
| Basically. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| I go in like probably, I would say, twice a week. | ||
| That's a trip. | ||
| Are you what's called an expat? | ||
| Are you like an official expat? | ||
| I wouldn't consider myself an expat. | ||
| But you live in Mexico? | ||
| Well, I have a house in Vegas. | ||
| I own a house in Vegas. | ||
| So I rented it out while I go to Mexico and play. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's cool. | |
| So you have to be in Mexico to do this? | ||
| Yeah, I can't play. | ||
| Like, if I was right here and I tried to fire it up, it wouldn't let me. | ||
| The IP would be blocked. | ||
| What? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And not only that, but now there's millions and millions of dollars that the DOJ has seized from full-tilt poker that's just sitting there. | ||
| We haven't been paid that back yet. | ||
| So what they basically did was they shut the sites down. | ||
| It was, I think it was April 15th, something like that. | ||
| They shut all the sites down. | ||
| And if you had money online, that went to the DOJ. | ||
| And now you have to ask them for your money back. | ||
| And we still can't get our money back. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Creepy, creepy government. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Creepy, creepy fucking government, man. | |
| I'm just baffled that, you know, against other consenting adults, I can't play poker with them. | ||
| Well, it's just crazy. | ||
| It's really gross that we allow grown adults to tell us what we can and can't do when it comes to situations like this. | ||
| Like, that is not, that's not a tax issue because it should be completely unrelated. | ||
| How you pay your taxes should be your personal responsibility based on what your actual income is. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| If you want to hide your gambling income, they should be able to find out, well, you only make $50,000 a year. | ||
| How do you have a $300,000 car? | ||
| Oh, let's go online. | ||
| See, this motherfucker plays poker all day and he's not reporting his winnings. | ||
| Like, I'm all for that. | ||
| I think everybody should have to pay their share, but you shouldn't be able to tell me what I can and can't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I agree. | |
| That's stupid. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| And then you can see, look, you can Google anyone's name and see what they've won. | ||
| It's just, it's out there. | ||
| It's all public because when you cash in a tournament, it shows it online. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now, what about, didn't, what was it, Full Tale poker that got busted for fraud? | ||
| Who got busted for fraud? | ||
| Absolute poker. | ||
| Absolute poker. | ||
| What would they do? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They had a guy that basically could see your whole cards. | |
| Like an admin? | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah, he created some kind of, I don't know, I'm not very computer savvy, but something that he could see every card at the table. | ||
| And what he was doing was he was just winning these insane amounts of money and not even trying to hide it. | ||
| Like, for example, when he won a tournament, he made a call when the last card of the river came out with 10 high. | ||
| I don't know if he played poker or not, but basically a call that you would never, that I've never made in my life. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Never, because it's never good. | ||
| And he was right because he could see the guy's cards. | ||
| But it's like, how are you going to be that blatant about it? | ||
| If you could see that, why would you not just be a little bit more discreet? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| You know, get third in the tournament once, maybe. | ||
| Is he in prison now? | ||
| That's the thing, man. | ||
| There's so much gray area with poker and law. | ||
| So he's not in jail. | ||
| Well, there was that guy who was trying to run an MMA organization as well. | ||
| That Bowdog guy. | ||
| Calvin Air, was it? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He had like this whole thing that he was doing where he was having these guys like fight on the beach and this beautiful resort in Costa Rica or something like that. | ||
| You know, he put the fights like on the beach. | ||
| I saw his house. | ||
| I was in Costa Rica golfing. | ||
| He was on a golf course. | ||
| He's a baller. | ||
| He's a baller. | ||
| He's a powerful baller. | ||
| But he's forced to live in another country. | ||
| He can't come to America. | ||
| If he comes to America, he'll be arrested. | ||
| Yeah, he'll be arrested. | ||
| Him and Dana White had this big go back and forth. | ||
| It was pretty hilarious. | ||
| On Twitter? | ||
| Long time before Twitter. | ||
| Oh, before. | ||
| Yeah, it's like on websites and interviews and stuff like that. | ||
| But he had like his picture. | ||
| He would have these billboards. | ||
| It was him in a beautiful suit with girls behind him. | ||
| Calvin Iyer presents Bow Dog Fights. | ||
| Like, what are you selling, man? | ||
| He's selling you looking like a pimp? | ||
| You know, he's selling like the lifestyle. | ||
| That's what people are fascinated by. | ||
| They're not just fascinated by the fights. | ||
| They're fascinated by his lifestyle. | ||
| But he was forced into exile because of online gambling, right? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, and the crazy part about it is, is you can still gamble on horses. | ||
| Well, you can gamble on the lottery. | ||
| Gamble on the lottery. | ||
| Those scratch tickets are available at every gas station. | ||
| And that's chance. | ||
| Poker is skill. | ||
| I've had eight years. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I've had one losing year out of eight years. | |
| Yeah, but that's, yeah, that's rare, though, isn't it? | ||
| Yeah, 3% of people make money playing poker. | ||
| 3%. | ||
| 3%. | ||
| That's similar to professional pool. | ||
| And fighting as well. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The top guys, how many? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And comedians. | ||
| Pretty much everything. | ||
| And pretty much everything. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| Make real money, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Ditch diggers. | ||
| Dolphin sex. | ||
| I think they all get the same amount. | ||
| Except for them. | ||
| Dolphin sex doesn't even make sense, bro. | ||
| Yeah, like how many times do people hang out with dolphins and not fuck them? | ||
| It's probably 3%. | ||
| How many are successful that try to fuck them? | ||
| That would be what it would be. | ||
| No, because dolphins want to fuck back. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| Read it. | ||
| I can't believe I talked to you. | ||
| I can't believe I just engaged you back and just brought you back into the fold. | ||
| Silly bitch. | ||
| Yeah, most poker players, what do they do to make a living? | ||
| That's what I do. | ||
| That's the only thing I do. | ||
| But most don't. | ||
| Most, well, I can't speak for everyone else. | ||
| I know that there's probably maybe 50 guys I can name that make good money. | ||
| I mean, there's some guys that make stupid money. | ||
| And they have, like, they're always into crazy bets. | ||
| Like, they'll play golf for a million dollars or something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's pretty normal. | ||
| That's the top 1%. | ||
| That is so fucking crazy. | ||
| It is. | ||
| To play a round of golf for a million bucks. | ||
| But that's so normal, isn't it? | ||
| What do you do with it? | ||
| For those guys? | ||
| For them, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't bet a million dollars. | ||
| Have you ever had a crazy bet about something like who's going to lose the most amount of weight or take the longest shit? | ||
| Because that's the kind of things that they bet on, right? | ||
| I could shit the longest complete shit ever. | ||
| We bet on a lot of weird things. | ||
| Like we bet one time we bet a guy that he wouldn't take a shot glass full of like steak rub. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| Whoa. | ||
| Yeah, he was allowed a little water. | ||
| Do you know that that guy could die if that's all salt? | ||
| I did not know that. | ||
| I think if you eat like a pound of salt, you could die. | ||
| I guess a shot glass is not a pound. | ||
| Unless it's in a shot glass. | ||
| And that steak rub is like more granulated. | ||
| So there's like space in between. | ||
| It's not as heavy as Morton salt. | ||
| Like if you drank like a shot glass of Morton sauce, that would be impressive as fuck. | ||
| But that steak rub's not quite as heavy. | ||
| Like, bets, like, if you can stay in a pool for 24 hours, things like that. | ||
| Stay in a pool for 24 hours? | ||
| Who did that? | ||
| I don't remember his name, but he did, probably because he died in that pool. | ||
| What about that guy? | ||
| Do you know him, the famous gambler in Vegas that actually got breast implants? | ||
| Do you know that story? | ||
| I think I remember seeing that a while ago on TV. | ||
| He wore him for a whole year. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was the bet. | ||
| I don't know him personally. | ||
| Isn't he legendary? | ||
| Isn't that guy a legendary character? | ||
| So what's his name? | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're going to find out. | |
| I can tell you if he is. | ||
| Tell me his name. | ||
| Have you been on the show Poker After Dark? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| I have not been on that. | ||
| I was on one of the ESPN World Series poker ones. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| I actually like watching that show. | ||
| What is the most success you've had with poker? | ||
| You mean most won in a day or something? | ||
| Most won ever. | ||
| $100,000. | ||
| The guy won. | ||
| He won $100,000. | ||
| Look at him there. | ||
| What was his name? | ||
| Brian Zembic. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I've never been there. | ||
| Cashed in on $100,000 bet by getting breast implants for a year. | ||
| Eight years later, he still has them. | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| You would keep them. | ||
| See, I think I would keep them too. | ||
| I think after a couple months, he'd be like, dude, it's fucking high. | ||
| I have really nice tits. | ||
| Boobs are awesome. | ||
| I don't think that's what it is. | ||
| I think he probably does it because he's nuts. | ||
| Really? | ||
| As far as I can tell you the most I've lost in a day was 25K. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Wow, that's going to suck. | ||
| That really sucked. | ||
| But the win was $209 in a day. | ||
| $209,000? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Jeez, Louisa. | ||
| What's the first thing you bought? | ||
| Did you buy any? | ||
| I bought a Lexus. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| With cash? | ||
| IS 350. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Yeah, it's quick. | ||
| That's a good car, too, because that's not like stepping out of line. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're not getting crazy. | ||
| You didn't go Bentley. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| You bought like a sensor. | ||
| You bought a sensor. | ||
| A luxury car. | ||
| It's a nice car. | ||
| It's very fast. | ||
| It's out there right now. | ||
| I love that car. | ||
| It's really reliable. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| That's the thing about Lexuses, man. | ||
| Those things are bulletproof. | ||
| I had one of those big trucks, those QX, whatever the fuck it was. | ||
| It's an amazing car, man. | ||
| They're so well designed, too. | ||
| They have that new one. | ||
| They have the new version of the LS, their big flagship sedan. | ||
| It might as well be a spaceship. | ||
| I mean, it parks itself. | ||
| You hit a button and it parallel parks for you. | ||
| Like, that is bananas. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| The fucking thing actually parks for you. | ||
| Cameras in the front, cameras in the rear, you know, all this different shit that makes it run perfect. | ||
| So it's amazing how computer-controlled all these things are. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I can't wait till five, ten years from now. | ||
| We'll be the Google car, the car that's driving around now. | ||
| That's going to suck, dude. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| Yeah, you're going to lose all your fucking fun. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| You can't drive yourself. | ||
| It should be that you should have the option to do it that way. | ||
| Ah, spill the water all over the place, you fuck. | ||
| That way or not. | ||
| It's just on the table. | ||
| You should be able to have the option, though, to either have the Google car or not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, being able to almost ride a train, like, I just want to think it'd be fun for long trips, like five-hour drives, to just sit there with your iPad and watch a movie. | |
| Well, it would suck because you wouldn't be able to avoid all the other crazy assholes that didn't have Google cars cutting you off, fucking switching lanes and shit and making you hit the brakes. | ||
| You'd probably be sitting there with no seatbelt, too. | ||
| You get an accident. | ||
| You're probably not. | ||
| Yeah, I wonder what the lag is. | ||
| I wonder if they ever figure out that there's accidents that are caused by the Google car that would, or cause because the Google car couldn't respond as quickly or as precisely as a person could. | ||
| Or there was options. | ||
| The Google car chose the shitty option. | ||
| I'm down with engines, bro. | ||
| I like living right now. | ||
| I like this right now. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I think we got to enjoy this. | ||
| Well, allegedly, I took that car up to 140. | ||
| Oh, allegedly. | ||
| That's scary fast. | ||
| That's a wheel fall off fast feeling. | ||
| No, well, it's interesting because allegedly I also took my old saw up to 100 and it was shaking. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This one was clean. | ||
| It's a big difference, man. | ||
| Those Japanese engineers, they're not fucking playing games, man. | ||
| They are not playing around. | ||
| Have you ever seen that one crazy Lexus that they have? | ||
|
unidentified
|
LFO. | |
| LS, LF, LFA. | ||
|
unidentified
|
LFO? | |
| LFA. | ||
| It's LFA. | ||
| LFA, yeah. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| They had one in, when I went to Vegas to get my car serviced, they had one in the showroom, and I was just like, took a half a million dollars. | ||
| Yeah, I think they stopped making them, though. | ||
| And they only had a certain amount. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think they made like $300 and something. | ||
| How much was it? | ||
| $300, I think. | ||
| It's super duper expensive, but it was just weird that it was like, performance-wise, it wasn't really much better than Nissan GTR, if better at all. | ||
| You actually saw something where they raced those two, I think. | ||
| And it was pretty comparable. | ||
| Yeah, the GTR is a $100,000 car, and it's a monster. | ||
| And that's another insane piece. | ||
| That's an insane piece of engineering. | ||
| And it's also something that apparently Nissan doesn't really even make any money on. | ||
| They just wanted to prove a point. | ||
| It's really kind of a county move. | ||
| They like put out a better car, cheaper, and like, deal with it. | ||
| They're like, your prices are way too high. | ||
| We're going to bring them down. | ||
| Like, good luck, Ferrari. | ||
| How much is that thing? | ||
| $300,000? | ||
| How do they come up with that number? | ||
| I want to know how they come up with that number. | ||
| How much it costs? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You ever seen a Ferrari factory? | ||
| Those are artisans. | ||
| There's a big difference between a Ferrari and like just if you're going to buy a Ferrari, you're going to buy something that's made by craftsmen. | ||
| Like the leather stitching and the dash is done by hand. | ||
| The car's engines pieced together by a bunch of specialists. | ||
| They all do it in this gigantic, beautiful, clean warehouse where they eat espresso at lunch and take two-hour naps. | ||
| And these are like artists, and they put together these machines that are, they're not just beautiful and not just like perfect engineering, but they're can constructed. | ||
| Like there's just like a feeling to them. | ||
| Like if you're into watches and you pick up like a Rolex and feel the automatic timer and know that someone like put all that shit together, there's something to mechanical things that are created by the human hand that makes them like really special to us. | ||
| And you don't really get that with a GTR. | ||
| You do, I mean, it is designed by man and put together, but what you get is like this feeling of this crazy technological marvel. | ||
| Like you get in it and you feel like, you know, the lights come on, the engine revs up, you hear the turbines, like, whoa, like this is a fucking spaceship. | ||
| This thing is some crazy piece of the most advanced automobile technology available. | ||
| But it doesn't feel like an old Ferrari. | ||
| Like if you, you know, start it up and you hear the and you realize some Italian dudes built this thing and stitched these seats together by hand. | ||
| You know, and you're pulling the seatbelt. | ||
| Someone made all this shit. | ||
| You know, you feel that leather steering wheel and like everything's mechanical. | ||
| You're moving the shifter and hearing the clickety clack. | ||
| There's something about like man-created things that, in my opinion, is like, it's like art in a physical form that's functional and that you use. | ||
| Whenever someone tells me, like, oh, I don't even like cars, you know, cars are stupid. | ||
| To me, a car just gets you where you want to go. | ||
| Okay, have you ever driven a Shelby Mustang? | ||
| Do you even know what the fuck you're talking about? | ||
| You don't like that feeling when you hit the gas and you hear and you feel those fucking tires squeaking a little bit because they're trying to get some traction because there's so much fucking horsepower? | ||
| Then you're not alive, man. | ||
| You're not alive. | ||
| You really need a Prius? | ||
| You got to try it once, at least. | ||
| It's a good feeling. | ||
| It is a good feeling. | ||
| Amazing feeling. | ||
| Especially when you do standard, because then you really feel like you're part of the car. | ||
| They don't make that Lexus so standard, though. | ||
| Even then. | ||
| Well, I can bring it in and I can actually do up and down with the shifter, but it's not the same because you don't have the feet. | ||
| That's like being a little kid in high school that doesn't know how to drive a stick shift and you're pretending you do. | ||
| It's like shifting the gears on your own. | ||
| Exactly what it is, yeah. | ||
| And it won't even actually... | ||
| So it's not really real, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's bullshit. | ||
| It's bullshit. | ||
| My M3 has that. | ||
| They have a double clutch. | ||
| It's nice. | ||
| It's great for traffic. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| You know, and it's way more efficient than you would ever be with a clutch. | ||
| So a clutch is kind of stupid in the long run, but there's that mechanical feeling again, the thing of shifting your own gears and turning your own steering wheel. | ||
| There's like a thrill to that that like we it feels good. | ||
| It's not even about speeding, you know? | ||
| Like have you ever driven one of those like really old Porsches? | ||
| That's like 1970s, like 69, 70, 71, those really tiny little mechanical things. | ||
| They have the engine in the back. | ||
| It's all screwy. | ||
| You hit too much gas, you go sideways, but they only have like 150 horsepower. | ||
| They're not heavy. | ||
| They're really light. | ||
| But you feel everything in that thing. | ||
| And you get out, even though you're going 40 miles an hour. | ||
| You get out of the car with a big smile on your face. | ||
| Like, that was fucking cool. | ||
| We've lost something. | ||
| It takes a lot more to get us to that feeling in like some crazy technological Marvel like Alexis. | ||
| Yeah, I think it's more like you feel like you're actually doing something. | ||
| The car's not just driving for you. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah, you're engaging it. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Moving it along. | ||
| This car, I mean, I don't even know what someone with the button's doing there, you know? | ||
| It's just like. | ||
| Yeah, when you find out about traction control and stability control, and like they literally are going around a corner, if one wheel starts spinning, they'll apply brakes to it and like only break one wheel and turn the car this way to try to balance it out. | ||
| It'll turn you out of fishtails. | ||
| Yeah, it's amazing. | ||
| Especially that GTR. | ||
| That GTR is incredible for that. | ||
| Like all the guys who review it, they'll joke around about taking it on a racetrack and just trying to throw it into the corners. | ||
| And a car just figures out how to do it and corrects itself, which is really smart. | ||
| You don't want some asshole on some 1970 Porcho that's going to fucking kick out sideways on him every time he goes around a corner and gives it the gas. | ||
| You don't want that. | ||
| You want that asshole to drive a GTR. | ||
| But then, in order for him to get his asshole kicks, he's got to go a lot faster. | ||
| You've got to go a lot faster. | ||
| 140. | ||
| You've got to hit that gas and feel that fucking thing pin you into the back of that seat. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I just have... | |
| So I drive my roommate's car and it's just such a treat to get back here and drive this thing. | ||
| What kind of car is it? | ||
| Oh, my roommate's one, yeah, yeah. | ||
| My roommate's, he just has like a Corolla, like a 92, I think, somewhere around there. | ||
| You don't want to drive his fucking car. | ||
| Well, I do out there because You do that in Mexico? | ||
| In Mexico, yeah. | ||
| That's a good move. | ||
| Yeah, because I don't want to attract attention like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, I see what you're saying. | ||
| I thought you meant like here. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was like, hmm, people have nice cars here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, here is fine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In Mexico, like, if you have like a Mercedes, are you a target? | ||
| Yeah, I think. | ||
| They say the guy that was helping me move in, like the landlord, he's like, yeah, you can take your car out here. | ||
| There's Mercedes, et cetera. | ||
| I saw like one Mercedes in the garage. | ||
| Oh, is he sweating? | ||
| The one or two is just fucking shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I would be. | |
| Looking around the corner. | ||
| Look, I'm looked at. | ||
| Everyone stares wherever I go in Mexico. | ||
| So I would just imagine how it would be if they saw a spaceship. | ||
| So how often do you go? | ||
| Like out? | ||
| You said you don't really leave the resort. | ||
| How often do you go to the lowest? | ||
| I mean, grocery shopping now and then. | ||
| Grocery shopping. | ||
| Oh, once you leave to go grocery shopping. | ||
| But that's like just highway and then grocery store and then highway back. | ||
| It's not that bad. | ||
| You're going to go there and there's dudes with sombreros and machine guns and shit. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| There's guys with machine guns all over the place. | ||
| Really? | ||
| The police. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| They just carry around machine guns like it's no big deal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Yeah, it's crazy. | ||
| That didn't seem to be the case. | ||
| No. | ||
| They clamped down a bit. | ||
| From what I understand, it's more police now than it was a little while ago. | ||
| Well, like, when I first started going, the first time I went to Mexico, I think was pre-2000. | ||
| I think. | ||
| I think I might have went. | ||
| No, it was when I was on MTV. | ||
| I was on this thing for Fear Factor, and we did it. | ||
| So it must have been like 2001 or 2002. | ||
| It was pretty much safe. | ||
| It's pretty normal. | ||
| It's pretty safe. | ||
| I think a lot of the things that they show here are just like the worst of the worst. | ||
| And it's like you can find that anywhere. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, look, there's murders here, too. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's just they're not publicized as much as they are. | ||
| It's hard to get the video. | ||
| The video those guys put out with their fucking crazy narco music over it and show people getting machine gun shit. | ||
| They have that? | ||
| Oh, they've done. | ||
| There's some videos of them chopping people up with chainsaws. | ||
| Yeah, they've done a lot of really mean shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's really not a lot of fun. | ||
| That's not very nice. | ||
| Yeah, we've got to figure out how to fix that problem. | ||
| Everybody's worried about Iraq and Afghanistan. | ||
| We live next to one of the craziest spots on earth. | ||
| Look, they can't get clean water, man. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| We got to go out and refill our water. | ||
| We can't use the water in the sink. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Do the Mexicans use it? | ||
| Yeah, but you get sick for a long time if you do it. | ||
| But eventually you get bad. | ||
| But you eventually get used to it. | ||
| Takes it develops a good bacteria. | ||
| It goes back to that fecal transplant shit. | ||
| What you need to do is get a Mexican dude to shit in your butt, and his fecal matter will balance out your ecosystem. | ||
| I'll look into that. | ||
| That's a real thing, man. | ||
| What we were talking about earlier. | ||
| I actually Googled it, and it's called, they call it fecal microbiota transplantation, also known as a stool transplant. | ||
| It's a process of transporting fecal bacteria from a healthy individual into a recipient as a treatment for patients suffering from CDI, which produces effects ranging from diarrhea to pseudomembraneous colitis. | ||
| Ooh, colitis is not good. | ||
| Anytime someone says you got colitis, ow. | ||
| Previous terms for the procedure include fecal bacterial therapy, fecal transfusion, fecal transplant. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It involves restoration of the colonic flora by introducing healthy bacterial flora through an infusion of stool. | ||
| People just need to eat better. | ||
| Well, the fact that someone came up with this idea... | ||
| Yeah, who... | ||
| Someone's pretty gangster. | ||
| Who's sitting there one day and just saying, I wonder if we can put poop in someone else's butt and fix their... | ||
| And they're starting to understand that it affects mood, it affects behavior, it affects so much, and it wards off diseases and it improves your immune system. | ||
| And actually, some bacteria aggressively fights off colds, and it aggressively fights off when you come into contact with certain different nasty things that it can actually battle. | ||
| It's like having troops in your body. | ||
| Don't viruses just mutate and come back stronger, though? | ||
| Well, they can if you don't take your fucking men's true. | ||
| If you don't do all 10 days, if you're one of those bitches like Doug Stanhope, who openly admitted on the podcast that he contributed to the creation of a super AIDS by not taking his fucking full Z-PAC. | ||
| Yeah, he's one of those dudes. | ||
| I feel better. | ||
| I stopped taking it. | ||
| So if somebody tries to tell you that, that your shit is so good that you took it out and put it in someone's body and it healed them, you know, the guy might not be lying. | ||
| It sounds like he'd be a bullshit artist. | ||
| That does sound no pun intended. | ||
| So how did you get involved with being sort of an expert on positive thinking or mental concentration? | ||
| Or did you just get it by experimenting yourself? | ||
| I met someone in a poker game a while ago in LA. | ||
| We were running a poker game in LA. | ||
| Was it Ari Shafir? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Okay. | ||
| And the guy's kind of taken me under his wing, kind of taught me the ways of life. | ||
| Really? | ||
| How much gay sex is involved in that? | ||
| A lot. | ||
| A lot, yeah. | ||
| It seems like you just give and none. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, you know, it's just something I've always known in my life. | ||
| Just there's something I got to learn. | ||
| You know, I got to learn about myself. | ||
| I got to learn how to think, how to feel, how to just be, man. | ||
| I mean, there was a lot of time, like, for example, with women, I would not talk to a woman for until like college. | ||
| I was scared of rejection. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I'm going to need you to repeat this story. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| So what you were saying basically was that there was one really big breakup. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| And it's one really big, crazy, heart-wrenching breakup. | ||
| It wasn't really that big, though. | ||
| Okay, for the story. | ||
| Okay, for the story. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| For the Hulk music. | ||
| What I'm trying to do is stall while Brian pulls out the Hulk music. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can internet. | |
| The internet here sucks it? | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Shocker. | ||
| Anyway, go ahead, tell us a story. | ||
| No, look, I wouldn't even go up to a woman because I was scared of rejection. | ||
| And one day I was sitting there, I was like, why am I scared of this rejection? | ||
| And I thought to myself, I was like, if I don't go up, it's a no. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Every time. | ||
| And if you just close your eyes and jerk off in the bathroom, it's a yes every time. | ||
| It's like you pretend it actually happened. | ||
| And then you can talk to her without needing something, without being such a needy bitch. | ||
| And you probably wind up being more successful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, look, that's one of the things I've learned is like everything's created by yourself. | ||
| You're as confident as you believe you can be, or you're as weak as you believe you are. | ||
| I saw your Twitter. | ||
| It was really funny. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A dude text messaged you the wrong person. | ||
| And so he text messaged them. | ||
| Hey, you got the wrong number. | ||
| And this is Matt. | ||
| And hey, by the way, girls don't like it when you're needy like that. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Well, he texted three times. | ||
| Three times within an hour. | ||
| And I was sitting there playing poker and I was just like, man, stop annoying me. | ||
| And I was like, you know what? | ||
| No, I'm just going to help this guy out. | ||
| Listen, you cannot text a girl three times. | ||
| She is done with you. | ||
| After the second text, probably. | ||
| Yeah, even the second text, you've given up your cards. | ||
| You know, what do you do? | ||
| Unless you're just having fun and you don't have to worry about anything. | ||
| You're not actually playing a game of trying to catch the pussy. | ||
| You know, if you could be friends, and you could send three texts to a friend. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| But let's be realistic. | ||
| Trying to get some pussy and you blew your cards. | ||
| It's the same as poker, right? | ||
| You get crazy, you throw all your money on the table, and you're fucked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It requires discipline. | ||
| Well, in the beginning, I went broke three times. | ||
| Broke, like sucking dicks on the street? | ||
| No, well, I mean, I was still living with my parents, so it wasn't that bad. | ||
| But. | ||
| You were living with your parents and you went broke. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I mean, wait, hold on. | ||
| Let me think about it. | ||
| It's a long time ago. | ||
| If you're going to make up a story, have it made up before you get here. | ||
| Okay, pal? | ||
| I don't want to hear you crazy fake going broke with your parents. | ||
| No, I went broke when I was in college. | ||
| In college. | ||
| So like when I was in, I went to Plattsburgh, upstate New York, and I went broke like three times during that period. | ||
| I went broke with my student loan money the first time. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| So like, and then I made six grand back, and I went to Vegas, and I made some money, but I was like trying to be that cool guy going to clubs and spending all this money. | ||
| And I went home with like 200 bucks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But every time I went broke, I rebounded within a week. | |
| And I got back. | ||
| I hit a 9,000 score. | ||
| So you've been addicted to playing poker for a long fucking time. | ||
| If you're talking about like, I wouldn't say addicted. | ||
| You've been in a wrong terminology. | ||
| You've been an extreme enthusiast of competitive poker. | ||
| Yeah, well, the way it went was the first year I learned how to play, I was playing eight hours a day, seven days a week. | ||
| Yeah, you just got obsessed. | ||
| Yeah, that's the way I am. | ||
| When I do something and I really put my mind to it, I want to be the best. | ||
| There's just no stopping. | ||
| And with poker, it's like much like with a lot of other disciplines, there's so much you can learn that it becomes really exciting. | ||
| Like the more effort and focus you put on it, the more you read about it, the more you improve and you see that improvement, it's very stimulating, you know? | ||
| It is. | ||
| And the great thing about poker that I love is it's Always new things. | ||
| Always. | ||
| You can pick up something new every time you play. | ||
| And that's why I love it because it keeps me learning new things every day and growing as a poker player, you know, as a person, all that stuff. | ||
| Well, it seems like it would be a fun way to make a living, too, as long as you're actually successful. | ||
| But that one year, you said you had like one year that you weren't. | ||
| This last year. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's like a big one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, most of the reason was because I lost my online income because of the Black Friday. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Poker becoming illegal. | ||
| So I couldn't play online, so I was just spending money without making it. | ||
| So is that why you moved to Mexico? | ||
| Partially to make more money. | ||
| Do you find yourself a little senorita down there that knows how to speak Spanish and get you out of a jam? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, I haven't. | ||
| I can't speak Spanish at all, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| You're living in Spanish. | ||
| You can't speak Spanish. | ||
| Most of them are part of the problem. | ||
| Most of the big restaurants and stuff speak English, so I never really have to. | ||
| They better. | ||
| We're right next door. | ||
| We got the cash. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| We got the guns. | ||
| No, they got the guns now. | ||
| We sold them. | ||
| They have a lot of guns. | ||
| They have a lot of guns, man. | ||
| That was one of the dumbest ideas in the history of the human race was that Operation Fast and Furious. | ||
| You know what that is? | ||
| Where the DEA decided, you know what, we've got to find out what these Mexicans do with these guns. | ||
| Let's sell them a bunch of guns and track them. | ||
| So they sold them like thousands of guns. | ||
| It's called Operation Fast and Furious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then some of those guns were actually used to kill a U.S. Border Patrol agent. | ||
| Like, that is easily one of the dumbest ideas in the history of the or one of the most clever ruses for, oh, I was just so stupid. | ||
| I didn't even know you can't sell guns. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoops. | |
| Sorry, it won't happen again. | ||
| I was actually working for the good guys when I was selling the bad guys guns. | ||
| Yeah, I figured we'd just watch who they shoot and then we have them. | ||
| You get it? | ||
| We have about 2,000 guns over there. | ||
| No worries. | ||
| It's no big deal. | ||
| Guns are illegal over there. | ||
| In Mexico? | ||
| All guns? | ||
| No, well, illegal to own as a citizen. | ||
| What about rifles? | ||
| Like hunting rifles? | ||
| I don't know about that. | ||
| I think that would be a gun, right? | ||
| Well, that's stupid. | ||
| How are you supposed to kill your food? | ||
| Everybody has to rely on someone else to kill it for them? | ||
| Apparently. | ||
| Beans are already dead, bro. | ||
| They're alive. | ||
| You got to pick them, bitch. | ||
| You start a gun out there. | ||
| Maybe you do. | ||
| But yeah, it's real interesting living out there, man. | ||
| It's a new world. | ||
| So you moved there just specifically to get around this law? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Are you in trouble saying that? | ||
| Can you say that? | ||
| Oh, no, no, no, no. | ||
| It's legal to play there. | ||
| Oh, it is? | ||
| Yeah, it's legal to play there. | ||
| So is it legal? | ||
| So you can say, like, if someone says, hey, why are you living in Mexico? | ||
| You can say, look, I'm a professional poker player. | ||
| That's how I make my living. | ||
| Do you pay taxes in America on those ill-gotten gains? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's illegal. | ||
| How is that not illegal? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's where the actual house that you sleep in is settled in. | ||
| That's what's important. | ||
| What line of the dirt is it on? | ||
| If it's on here, you can go to jail. | ||
| If it's on here, they'll take your tax dollars. | ||
| That's how it is. | ||
| Do you get shit for going back and forth? | ||
| Like, the border guys look at you funny? | ||
| Not really. | ||
| I mean, I just say I'm there to surf and relax, which is true. | ||
| But does it say that you're that you live, like when you look in your passport, does it say you live in Mexico? | ||
| No. | ||
| You have a United States passport. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So what do you say? | ||
| You just say I have a vacation home down there? | ||
| Yeah, just say I'm vacationing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And, you know, it's not really a big deal when you come into the U.S., but when you go into Mexico, you don't want to say that. | ||
| What's the deal with Canada? | ||
| Can you do that in Canada? | ||
| You could do it in Canada. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You chose Mexico over Canada? | ||
| Yeah, like the beach. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| True. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| I guess. | ||
| Do you see those photos of Kevin Perry who just was in Cabo? | ||
| And the photos he sent. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He'd been tweeting. | |
| It just looks so beautiful. | ||
| It's gorgeous, man. | ||
| It's fucking gorgeous. | ||
| However, you might get it. | ||
| It chose Canada. | ||
| Canadians are way nicer. | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| I thought about it, you know, but I just want to go somewhere and make a bunch of money and come back and live. | ||
| Now, when you have a professional poker player, what's the long-term goal? | ||
| Do you like, you try to be the best? | ||
| Try to stockpile enough money away so that you can get through a bad year? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, well, for example, I bought a house last year. | ||
| I have some money with a financial advisor. | ||
| I have some money in my bank. | ||
| I just try to diversify because there are going to be rainy days where you don't make money. | ||
| So I was fortunate that I was able to make enough to not have to really worry about it when Black Friday hit and I could live. | ||
| It's funny that everybody calls it in the poker community. | ||
| They call it Black Friday. | ||
| Black Friday. | ||
| Is there any work being done to try to fix that? | ||
| Yeah, it's going on. | ||
| I would say about a year until it's legalized. | ||
| The problem now is that they want to do it state to state where you're not going to be able to play with the whole world. | ||
| So you're going to have, it's not going to be able to make as much money as you could. | ||
| Yeah, you just play against Californians. | ||
| But that's the problem, bitch. | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's true. | |
| That's true. | ||
| On Sunday, they have a $200 buy-in, which gets about 4,000 players. | ||
| You can win a quarter of a million dollars. | ||
| Where's this? | ||
| It's online. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Poker stars. | ||
| And you can't play it if you live in America. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Could you go through a proxy? | ||
| A pieroxy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pyroxy? | |
| You could, but that's. | ||
| It's like a pierogi, but not as tasty as you can. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You could. | |
| You could take the proxy. | ||
| Yeah, you could, but I wouldn't suggest it. | ||
| You know, because if they catch you, I don't know what they would do. | ||
| They'd probably arrest you, right? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Well, that's why I said the law with poker is it's so new that they don't really have anything set in place. | ||
| So they could probably take your money? | ||
| Probably. | ||
| Isn't that funny? | ||
| They can't take it if you do it in Mexico. | ||
| Even though you're paying them the taxes on that. | ||
| That's a lot of people. | ||
| You want to hear the worst part of it is that, well, finally, they just remedy this, but for a bunch of years, you couldn't carry over losses. | ||
| So let's say you made $100K one year, but then the next year you lost $40. | ||
| Well, they're not giving you any of that $100 back. | ||
| So it's hard to survive sometimes. | ||
| Well, that just makes sense. | ||
| I mean, it's just based on a yearly thing. | ||
| Why would you think that you'd be able to... | ||
| Right. | ||
| But if you're a poker player, you could lose some some year. | ||
| Now you can carry over, though. | ||
| They let you now carry over. | ||
| Oh, you do? | ||
| Now you can. | ||
| Within the last year, I believe. | ||
| Oh, that's interesting. | ||
| I should say I was told this by somebody. | ||
| The same guy that told Brian that dolphins have tails inside their butts? | ||
| No, this was a CPA. | ||
| So I'm hoping it's right, or else I'm screwed. | ||
| He's a producer. | ||
| They're all distributors of disinformation. | ||
| You should make sure you check. | ||
| Yeah, I should check that. | ||
| That's the same. | ||
| You never know, man. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| He might be fucking with you. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| Next thing you know, you're trying to claim some shit, and he's just trying to get you locked up. | ||
| Maybe he's deep inside. | ||
| He's working you from the inside, like that show, Homeland. | ||
| You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| I haven't Seen it yet? | ||
| I've been told to watch that, though. | ||
| It's good, man. | ||
| So you said you worked with Campman and you worked with Kung Lee? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Did you work with Kung for his last fight with Rich Franklin? | ||
| So, well, actually, I worked with him for his last fight before that against Cote. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| More extensively. | ||
| For the other fight, we talked once. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| So we didn't. | ||
| It's sort of like still in its infancy stages. | ||
| Did you plan on doing this as a business? | ||
| I want to, yeah. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What would you do? | ||
| Just make different programs based on different guys and how to just play it by ear and try to figure out what you can do to fix them? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, well, the thing is, like I said, it differs so much from person to person. | ||
| So you can have kind of an idea of where you're going, but how you get there is going to be different based on everybody else and what's going on in their head. | ||
| That's pretty cool, dude. | ||
| You know, you're obviously a guy who's sort of figured out in life that you can carve your own path. | ||
| You know, you don't have, you're not living, I mean, you're living in fucking Mexico, first of all. | ||
| That should be a big hint. | ||
| Professional poker player. | ||
| And I'm just going to go mentally coach fighters. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, well, I mean, that's the fun way to live life, I think. | |
| Oh, fuck yeah. | ||
| Without a doubt, I think it's so important for people to hear that people like you are doing that too. | ||
| Because so many people think that life is just this sort of mundane series of events that you've been thrown into, and there's no way to get out of it, and you're going to be stuck doing something along these lines for the rest of your life. | ||
| Look, you can do anything you want. | ||
| And I know it sounds corny, but one day I literally woke up and said, you know what, I want to work with MMA fighters, and I took action. | ||
| That's the one thing I think that most people are lacking. | ||
| They can think of great things they want to do, but as far as action goes, there really isn't. | ||
| A lot of people are waiting for someone else to come along and help them. | ||
| That's why one of the most annoying things, I bet you must get this, is people that have requests for you to help them, like start a business, or requests for you to help them. | ||
| Do you get that kind of thing? | ||
| As an investor, you mean? | ||
| As an investor. | ||
| You've been burned a couple times. | ||
| I don't do it anymore. | ||
| You've got to figure out your own path, son. | ||
| And coming up to someone and say, listen, if you took this and you brought it to a producer, like, ah, I got my own things to worry about. | ||
| You got to find your own way. | ||
| Don't try to get a bunch of people to fucking make your business by donating money and stop, stop. | ||
| You need to set up a structure. | ||
| Yeah, you know. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| You need to just set up a structure for how you're going to get to where you want to get. | ||
| And that's the only way to do it. | ||
| There's a lot of fucking people that want other people to help them. | ||
| I get requests like that. | ||
| Can you teach me how to play poker? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| That seems easy. | ||
| Do you realize how much time it takes to get good at poker? | ||
| I asked them that. | ||
| I say, do you understand that you're going to have to be completely immersed in it for a year or two? | ||
| Can you do that with your time? | ||
| Yeah, eight hours a day. | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| And if you don't, you're going to lose. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| So you never be a fucking professional, goddammit. | ||
| It's very important, though, dude, to have guys like you to have a conversation with someone who's living a life that seems like a crazy life. | ||
| Like, you know, like, wow, how'd that guy figure that out? | ||
| How'd that guy do that? | ||
| It's so important for normal folks to hear stuff like your story. | ||
| Like, if I was 18 and I heard your story, it would be great for me because I'd be like, oh, okay, well, that's possible too. | ||
| Like, maybe you don't have to do this job. | ||
| Like, maybe I should figure out if I could be a poker player. | ||
| That guy seems cool. | ||
| He's having a good time. | ||
| Like, just the idea, just put the idea of you being able to accomplish things that are unusual, things you don't see around you. | ||
| It's not easy. | ||
| Look, it takes work. | ||
| And that's why most people, I don't think, do it because it takes a lot of work, man. | ||
| It takes a lot of work to do anything. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| To do anything. | ||
| To be a comedian, to be an MMA fighter, to be a poker player, anything and everything. | ||
| That's sort of the key to life. | ||
| Find something that you really love to do and just go fucking crazy with it. | ||
| And the key is to not be stopped because you're going to hit road bumps. | ||
| Some people will just say, okay, well, I'll try something new. | ||
| But I hit road bumps in poker, too. | ||
| When I went broke, I thought about quitting every time. | ||
| And I just said, you know what? | ||
| I'm just going to get better. | ||
| And actually, the way I did it was I messaged the top 10 ranked poker players online. | ||
| That's how I did it. | ||
| I said, listen, I'm looking to get good. | ||
| Will you take five minutes out of your day to talk to me? | ||
| And three of them said yes. | ||
| Those are suckers. | ||
| Those guys screwed up. | ||
| And then all of a sudden let this guy in. | ||
| Now he's going to take all your fucking money. | ||
| What if you come in second place and you come in first place and he comes in second? | ||
| He's like, what the fuck? | ||
| Yeah, you certainly can't do it with a large group of people, but I definitely try to take like three or four people under my wing, you know, at a time. | ||
| That's cool, man. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| I think it's important. | ||
| Take Brian under your wing. | ||
| I've been life coach so much this week. | ||
| I'm sore I can't even say and with that gem ladies and gentlemen thanks once again everybody who bought my special my comedy special online if you go to joerogan.net live from the tabernacle I couldn't come up with another name I was trying to figure out what another name would be but it just never came to me and I didn't think it was important so it's live from the tabernacle because I filmed it at the tabernacle theater in Atlanta Georgia and I think if you play this music it | ||
| distracts me and it makes me confused. | ||
| I don't know what to do now. | ||
| Live from the Tabernacle is available DRM free. | ||
| That means you can download it, you can put it on whatever the fuck you want. | ||
| You can copy it, you can watch TV, watch it on an iPad. | ||
| There's a bunch of different downloads you can get to. | ||
| You can also stream it. | ||
| There's a lot of different options available. | ||
| You can buy it with PayPal or Amazon. | ||
| It's only five books. | ||
| Louis C.K. style. | ||
| Louis, I think, really sort of changed the entire way that comedians are going to be distributing their shows in the future to self-promote it and self-fund it and that's what I did. | ||
| I paid for the entire filming of it all. | ||
| Hired a real director and my friend Anthony and his big company Positive Image Video to do a great professional job on it. | ||
| So I'm really proud of it. | ||
| I think it's my favorite stuff of all the stuff that I've ever done. | ||
| It's really exciting. | ||
| It's an awesome time to be a comedian. | ||
| I'm in my replenishing material phase right now, so it's really exciting. | ||
| I'm doing a lot of sets and having so much fun coming up with new shit, but the feedback's been amazing. | ||
| It's been the most positive feedback of anything I've ever done online ever. | ||
| So I just want to thank you guys and thanks to everybody that sends all the cool tweets and the Facebook messages and all that shit. | ||
| I appreciate the fuck out of all of it. | ||
| I can't thank everybody individually one at a time, but we know that you guys are enjoying the show. | ||
| We know that you guys are enjoying the stand-up shows and all the other shit that we do and we're very happy And we're going to keep doing it. | ||
| If you want to follow Matt on... | ||
| online you could follow him he is on Twitter and his Twitter handle is Matt Vengrin V E N G R I N So that's M-A-T-T-V-E-N-G-R-I-N. | ||
| Do you have a website too? | ||
| I do, but I hardly use it. | ||
| But I would like to plug a charity book I made. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's called Poker with a Purpose. | ||
| It's on Amazon. | ||
| Did you do that just to get chicks? | ||
| No. | ||
| Say I do charity poker. | ||
| No, but I did give 100% of it to our charity. | ||
| I didn't take it. | ||
| Oh, that's beautiful. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| And we got 20 of the best poker players in the world writing it. | ||
| Oh, that's cool. | ||
| And is it an instructional that we'll use? | ||
| Yeah, so basically there's the way I did it was I did like different facets of the game, like three betting. | ||
| You probably want to understand the terms of three betting, different things of poker. | ||
| And I did three people to do their opinion on it. | ||
| So you could choose which one you like or incorporate whatever you like into it. | ||
| Mostly it's just one person writing about it like they know it to be fact. | ||
| Oh, that's cool. | ||
| And so all these different people put it out and it's available through Amazon. | ||
| And it's just since we're giving this to greenworld.org where they plant trees all throughout the world. | ||
| So yeah, we just, it's $10 is cheap and there's amazing information in it. | ||
| It's a strategy book. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| And it's called Poker with a Purpose. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| And available on Amazon.com. | ||
| Thanks again to Kerosene Games for promoting the podcast. | ||
| And go check out Bladeslinger, their newest video game. | ||
| Their first, actually, they're working on other ones, but this is the first one. | ||
| Excellent. | ||
| Oh, you son of a bitch. | ||
| You got a beta copy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I've been playing for a couple months. | ||
| Bladeslinger is available until December 29th. | ||
| It's only 99 cents. | ||
| It's $2.99 normally. | ||
| So either way, it's very reasonable. | ||
| Three bucks for an awesome video game that you could play over and over again until your dick falls off. | ||
| So go get some, son. | ||
| And thanks also to onit.com. | ||
| Use the code name Rogan. | ||
| That's R-O-G-A-N, and save yourself 10% off any and all supplements. | ||
| All right, you fucks. | ||
| Thank you, Matt, for being on the podcast. | ||
| Pleasure. | ||
| Thank you, all you freak people out there in the wonderful world. | ||
| Oh, my goodness. | ||
| Tomorrow, we're going to have Andrew Dice Clay on. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| He just texted me back. | ||
| These are the kind of live updates that you get on this fucking podcast. | ||
| So we'll see you tomorrow. | ||
| Anything else? | ||
| I'll be Ice House Chronicles Friday with a special guest that I can't announce until Thursday at midnight. | ||
| So tickets are on step at icehousecomedy.com. | ||
| It's going to be a podcast slash. | ||
| I'll tell you, you can't say who it is, but he might have been in a movie that rhymes with super All right, fuckers. | ||
| Thanks. |
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