Nov. 28, 2012 - The Joe Rogan Experience
01:04:57
Participants
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Asians are going to get paranoid when that thing's in here. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| It'll scare you. | ||
| Just... | ||
| I believe it. | ||
| I know the wolf, the fucking yellow goddamn eyes, that fucking gnashing... | ||
| It blanked up. | ||
| It blanked out. | ||
|
unidentified
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We are now joined on Ustream. | |
| Oh, powerful Ustream. | ||
| That's a full live version, full sized version of The Wolf. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus, god damn Christ, that thing's spooky. | |
| That was an awesome movie, folks. | ||
| If you haven't seen it, how dare you? | ||
| If you haven't seen American Wolves in London, it's the greatest horror movie of all time. | ||
| I love that fucking movie. | ||
| I used to think that, but then I saw the worst horror movie of all time. | ||
| What was that? | ||
| Funny Games. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| What? | ||
| Oh, that's the one you were telling me about? | ||
| Yeah, it's just, the director said the appropriate response to it is walking out halfway through. | ||
| This is a human-created violence scary movie, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's just, it's a horror, it's like, I've seen almost every horror movie. | ||
| But it's not monsters, right? | ||
| It's human, no, it's not werewolves. | ||
| See, I'm not interested in, like, mean people. | ||
| I like watching a good werewolf movie or some shit, or a vampire movie. | ||
| I like watching nonsense. | ||
| Like, showing me, like, some guy who's gonna kill somebody with a pair of pliers, I really don't need to see that. | ||
| I know there's guys that'll do that. | ||
| Oh, no, no, no. | ||
| This is not even, like, that. | ||
| This isn't, like, some slasher flick, dude. | ||
| This is, like, according to the director, it's commentary on the infiltration of, like, the mainstream media into popular life, and they're using this, like, story to, like... | ||
| To articulate it. | ||
| It's deep. | ||
| It's fucking deep. | ||
| It's about fascism. | ||
| But man, it is like... | ||
| Your stomach will roll when you watch this fucking thing. | ||
| Highly recommend it. | ||
| I only saw the US version. | ||
| Some people say that the US version... | ||
| It's shot for shot. | ||
| It's shot for fucking shot. | ||
| It's the guy from Reservoir Dogs. | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| The fucking undercover cop from Reservoir Dogs? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Tim Roth. | |
| Yeah, Tim Roth is in it. | ||
| He fucking nails it, dude. | ||
| That guy's awesome. | ||
| He is awesome. | ||
| He's not in enough shit. | ||
| I know. | ||
| What's that guy do? | ||
| Does he do like plays or something? | ||
| Seems like it. | ||
| Is he an autiste? | ||
| He's an autiste. | ||
| He's a badass motherfucking actor. | ||
| Dude, you know what I did last night, man? | ||
| I went to this movie theater that fucking Quentin Tarantino owns called The New Beverly, and they show Grindhouse flicks twice a month, and last night they were showing an anti-drug Grindhouse flick called The Acid Strip or something. | ||
| What exactly does Grindhouse mean? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I want to Google that, but I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, I always wondered. | ||
| When I saw that, when I saw he was doing those movies, the one with... | ||
| What was the Pretty Girl from Charmed? | ||
| What the fuck is her name? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| They were all pretty in that show, Charmed. | ||
| It's just fucking awesome, man, because it's like the original movie, so it's kind of fucked up. | ||
| This had Bud Court in it. | ||
| It was shot in Italy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Um... | ||
| Rose McGowan, that's the chick. | ||
| She was in it and she was, she had like, one leg was a gun or something like that. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Remember? | |
| And I was like, what the fuck is Grindhouse? | ||
| Like, what is that? | ||
| It's just like an old, kind of stupid, gory, weird, kind of artistic style. | ||
| Like, I think they vary. | ||
| This one was like, just the stupidest, funniest thing you've ever seen. | ||
| Like, the way they try to do, like, they were trying to do the anti-drug message and the Oh, here's the definition. | ||
| A grindhouse is an American term for a theater that mainly shows exploitation films. | ||
| It's named after the defunct burlesque theaters located on 42nd Street in New York City, where bump and grind dancing and striptease were featured. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| So that's the old 42nd Street. | ||
| That's back when New York City had a really fucked up area. | ||
| Do you remember what it was like? | ||
| Did you ever go to New York City when it was crazy? | ||
| No way! | ||
| I've heard about it, but I never went there. | ||
| I was there many times when it was still dangerous. | ||
| It was really interesting. | ||
| 42nd Street was a completely different place. | ||
| It was this... | ||
| They decided, they made this active decision to clean that fucking place up and take out all the bullshit and make it super... | ||
| Super fan friendly and super, you know, visitor friendly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So what it used to be was like one dirty little striped tease and peep show and triple X movie. | ||
| And it was fucking creepy. | ||
| People, creepy people hanging out. | ||
| Like, let's Google old photos of Times Square. | ||
| It's like Taxi Driver. | ||
| It's like the movie Taxi Driver. | ||
| That's where it's hanging out. | ||
| Yeah, I remember that. | ||
| I came to New York a couple times when I was in my teenage years. | ||
| And I remember being there, wandering around, going, what a fucking crazy place this is, man. | ||
| I had family in New Jersey, and they had taken me to Manhattan a few times when I was young. | ||
| And I remember, like, man... | ||
| Barely remember when I was like a little kid. | ||
| Barely remember, but I remember like feeling it's like dangerous like so big and crazy. | ||
| It is dangerous. | ||
| But I remember when I was like in my teenage years is when I saw like the peep shows and all that shit. | ||
| I saw those that we we came there for a karate tournament. | ||
| There was a big karate tournament they used to do at Madison Square Garden every year. | ||
| So we came in me and a bunch of fucking soft dorks from Boston, you know Newton even where I was from the suburbs of Boston. | ||
| To go to this crazy fucking city. | ||
| We were essentially living in Mayberry compared to New York City. | ||
| You have your own problems socially with people everywhere. | ||
| Where I grew up, I went to Newton South High School. | ||
| It's one of the nicest high schools ever. | ||
| You're always going to have problems with human beings whenever you get 17-year-olds and you mix them all together. | ||
| There's going to be problems. | ||
| But there's very few fights in school. | ||
| No one got really seriously injured. | ||
| There was a few squabbles and people got upset with people. | ||
| But other than that, it was a nice place to live. | ||
| I didn't realize how easy I had it until you're in Manhattan. | ||
| And you're like 17 years old and you're like in Times Square and you're like, what the fuck is this place? | ||
| Like this place is crazy. | ||
| It's just one person after another who wants to fuck you and give you some new disease. | ||
| Like one of just people looking to fuck people and people looking to jerk off and people looking to go sit and watch someone play with their asshole in front of you while you beat off in a booth and then someone cleans that. | ||
| Like that was Times Square. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No one cleans it, though. | |
| They did clean it. | ||
| They would go in there with a mop, man. | ||
| They would go in there with a mop, and they'd look at you like, you motherfucker. | ||
| I told you when I was in San Francisco, I went to one of those places, and I've never been to the place where the thing goes up, and you're in this room, and there's just a bunch of people behind this glass fingering themselves and stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I accidentally put my hand on the side like there was like a little thing that was wet. | |
| Too bad. | ||
| That is not good. | ||
| And then the guy was like, I was like, oh, I think I just put my hand in cum. | ||
| He goes, oh, no, we clean those things in between every person. | ||
| And then I just watch people go in and out. | ||
| And I was like, no, you don't. | ||
| I'm watching people right now. | ||
| Oh, you put your hand in jizz. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It just sells. | ||
| Don't worry about it, man. | ||
| If you had to choose between a guy punching you in the head or jizzing on your face, What would you pick? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Punching in the head. | |
| I would take the chills in the face all day. | ||
| You know why? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What would you do, Duncan? | |
| Can I pick both? | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because I'll tell you why. | ||
| Because A, I've been punched in the face, and it's not fun. | ||
| And B, I've accidentally come in my face, and it was not that bad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| It was delicious. | ||
| No, it wasn't delicious, but nothing did hurt. | ||
| It was pretty pain-free. | ||
| It was warm. | ||
| When I was 16, I was completely retarded. | ||
| Of course, I was using the pull-out method. | ||
| Also, teenage girlfriend. | ||
| We didn't know what the fuck we were doing. | ||
| We were idiots. | ||
| We shouldn't have been alone together. | ||
| So I would pull out, and one time I pulled out, and I shot it so far. | ||
| It hit me in the face. | ||
| I was looking down at it as I pulled it out. | ||
| I guess I wanted to see how much came out. | ||
| And it hit me right in the mug. | ||
| Splat! | ||
| And I was like, wow, so that's what it feels like. | ||
| It was kind of exciting. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Put yourself in the girl's position. | ||
| It feels like, now you understand why they would want a hot load in the face. | ||
| It's hot. | ||
| It represents the man's passion on your face. | ||
| Not that I want it from anyone other than me. | ||
| That doesn't sound like it at all. | ||
| It only happened once. | ||
| There's other things that only happened once that I'm shocked with. | ||
| One of them is beating off in the car. | ||
| I've only beat off in the car once in my entire life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
While driving? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| One time when I was living in Boston, I was working for a limo company, and I was driving home, and it was a long ride, and it was horny, so I just beat off It was like something to do. | ||
| And I just squirted a load inside my shirt, tucked it back in my pants. | ||
| And then, you know, I remember doing it and I remember thinking, well, alright, so here's some new fucked up thing I do now. | ||
| Because I figured I would just keep doing that now. | ||
| I'd never jerked off in the car before. | ||
| And being like 20 years old or whatever I was at the time, I was like, what an idiot. | ||
| Did you really just start jerking off in the car? | ||
| Because that's what you're going to start doing all the time now, dummy. | ||
| And I didn't, for whatever reason. | ||
| I never did it again. | ||
| Like, what do you mean? | ||
| Like that would become your fetish? | ||
| Like jerking off in the car? | ||
| Yeah, I figured if I found one other place where I was comfortable jerking off, that's not a good thing. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Because I had jerked off at work before. | ||
| God, imagine the world where jerking off was just normal and like you just like, you know, in line people are jerking off. | ||
| One time I jerked off at work twice because I had this really hot date that night. | ||
| And I jerked. | ||
| I was doing construction. | ||
| I was in this basement. | ||
| We were building this house. | ||
| And I would just open the door, beat off onto the yard. | ||
| And then go back to work. | ||
| I did it twice. | ||
| That's how fucked up I was. | ||
| And then when I went on the date that night with the girl, I was, like, barely into it. | ||
| And I was like, I'd wanted to fuck this girl for so long. | ||
| And we finally, like, ran into each other somewhere. | ||
| And I was like, holy shit. | ||
| And she was so down. | ||
| But I was, like, barely hard. | ||
| It was so sad. | ||
| I had a complete three-quarters erection. | ||
| You fucked up. | ||
| And she was the first girl that wanted to put her finger in my ass. | ||
| You never forget that lady, do you? | ||
| She goes, I know what you want. | ||
| This is what she said. | ||
| She goes, I know what you want. | ||
| We were both like 17 or something like that. | ||
| I go, what do I want? | ||
| She goes, you want me to stick my finger in your ass? | ||
| I was like, whoa, what the... | ||
| How wrong are you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, you couldn't be more wrong. | ||
| Yeah, that's more like what you want. | ||
| But... | ||
| Automatically. | ||
| I didn't want to grill her, you know, because that's kind of rude to do to a girl you're dating. | ||
| But you don't want to go, how many dudes have you stuck your finger up their ass? | ||
| Because if you just offer that up, like the first time we hook up, you just offer up a finger up the ass, and you're only 17. I think maybe like, maybe I was 18 and she was 17, or 19 and 18, in that range, you know, right after high school or around there. | ||
| It's like, she's already done this how many times? | ||
| I wonder how many dudes' buttholes. | ||
| This girl's just, I know what you want. | ||
| The guy's like, yeah, you know it. | ||
| Go for it, baby. | ||
| Like, just on a whim, on a hope that it's a good thing. | ||
| And all of a sudden, she's sucking on her fingers, and you're going, where's this going? | ||
| See, in the world of Kurzweil that we're talking about, the idea that you're going to be able to record everything, there will be a way that you can hack. | ||
| And the way that, like, guys will hack into their girlfriend's email, you'll be able to hack into your girlfriend's, like, past and, like, see a scan of, like, you could actually just enter in. | ||
| How many buttholes has her finger been in? | ||
| 28? | ||
| I'm reading that Sex at Dawn book. | ||
| I'm reading the Sex at Dawn book. | ||
| Pretty good. | ||
| Yeah, it's fascinating. | ||
| And one of the things that I find fascinating is all the different theories about why people act and behave certain ways when it comes to how many sexual... | ||
| What partners has your wife had? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Why it's so important that you limit that number, that you can trust her and keep her around. | ||
| It's really fascinating stuff, man. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| That book is incredible. | ||
| I love that guy, man. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| That's a really cool dude, too, Chris Ryan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's brilliant. | |
| You had him on your podcast, didn't you? | ||
| Twice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Twice. | |
| Yeah, I got to get in touch with him and try to see if he'll do this because he's really very interesting. | ||
| I love the part about the Yucatan, the name of the Yucatan. | ||
| Do you remember that part? | ||
| I don't remember that. | ||
| They, when Columbus's people, or Cortez, came to the Yucatan, they asked the people, like, what do you call this place? | ||
| And they made this sound. | ||
| Not that sound. | ||
| But they made this sound like, you know, and the guy said, Yucatan, close enough. | ||
| So they say, we're going to call it the Yucatan. | ||
| Well, it turned out that the Mayan scholars, after all those years of deciphering They deduced that what he was trying to say was, I don't understand what you're saying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, man. | |
| Like, that's what he was saying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That they had taken a new guitar. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Isn't that amazing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's such an amazing, like, I love knowing shit like that, like how it was, and then knowing that that was only a few hundred years ago. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's really kind of nuts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're so spoiled by the time that we arrived. | ||
| We're so spoiled that being alive in the year 2012, just a few hundred years ago, there was people that got in boats and just traveled and didn't know where the fuck they were going and had no idea what they would find and didn't have maps. | ||
| It's just a hundred... | ||
| But dude, think about... | ||
| What is it, 500 years ago? | ||
| I love to think about that, man. | ||
| And I love to think about the fucking feeling. | ||
| That feeling that that... | ||
| That's a feeling. | ||
| I mean, we can find that... | ||
| I mean, you could esoterically say, you know, we can search into the world of psychedelics for new lands. | ||
| Yeah, but no one is ever going to know until interstellar travel happens. | ||
| No one's ever going to know that fucking feeling of being on a ship. | ||
| And for the first time, seeing land in a place where no one knows there's land? | ||
| Yeah, and the idea that you would have the audacity to go look in the ocean, to not know what's on the other side, to just go out there, like, oh my god, you had to have fucking tremendous balls. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And one of the things that must have been amazing back then was the ability to see the stars. | ||
| Like, as long as it wasn't cloudy out, you could really see everything, because there was no light pollution. | ||
| Where if you've ever been in the country in the middle of the night and you look up on a clear night and just see fucking unbelievable amounts of stars, it really makes you sad that that's not a regular feature. | ||
| That what we've done by creating these beautiful cities and these safe roads to travel on, we've disconnected ourselves from the vision of the cosmos, of our part in the cosmos. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| When you're like in the country, man, you're staying in a farm and you go like kick back in a hammock and you look up and the entire sky is filled with stars, that is a perspective enhancing experience. | ||
| That's a visual psychedelic. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Just staring at the stars is a very visual psychedelic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well I mean you've got like light. | |
| Pouring into your eyes from the far reaches of the universe. | ||
| You've got light coming into your eyes that's from so long ago. | ||
| And you're getting that feeling that you get when you see something beautiful. | ||
| We seek out beautiful things. | ||
| We seek out them, whether they're flowers or sculptures or a person or a car. | ||
| There's something that strikes us when we see something beautiful. | ||
| You know, it's all subjective, but To each person, whatever their beautiful is, it lights that charge in their mind. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, have you ever seen a guy who's, like, really into old cars, and he sees an old Corvette or something like that? | ||
| Oh, this is a 67. Yeah. | ||
| Look at the lines on this baby. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you see him, like, his fucking eyes light up, and, like, there's a charge that a person gets from a thing of beauty, from seeing something that's beautiful. | ||
| There's an idea that that... | ||
| thing of beauty is lying underneath everything that the world's just covering that beauty up and that people use objects as a way to limit the beauty because to like really accept the whole thing is like would be so potent that you start off like getting that feeling from cars or you start off getting that feeling from looking up at the sky or you start off getting that feeling from falling in love but like that feeling is like underneath everything that's what everything's composed | ||
| of is that sense of like wow holy shit can you Because that's a peak feeling. | ||
| That feeling of being like, whatever the thing is that activates it. | ||
| Sometimes I think that maybe that's what enlightenment is. | ||
| Is when you just hit that feeling perpetually. | ||
| You're just perpetually in that space of like, wow, this is amazing. | ||
| I had a friend who was really into Buddhism. | ||
| And she had this thing on her wall that said, enlightenment is possible in this lifetime. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I remember reading that going, wow, that is a profound statement. | ||
| You know, enlightenment is possible in this lifetime. | ||
| And I remember thinking, like, wow, what a weird thing we all have in our heads is this reality. | ||
| Burning desire to get our shit together. | ||
| Everybody would love to be enlightened. | ||
| Beware of anybody who tells you they are. | ||
| Beware of anybody who tells you they don't want to be. | ||
| Wow, that's great. | ||
| I just made that up. | ||
| That's great, dude. | ||
| That's really good. | ||
| It's delicious. | ||
| It's a gift from the universe. | ||
| I'm sure somebody probably already said it somewhere. | ||
| Already, yeah. | ||
| That's too good. | ||
| I couldn't have made that one up. | ||
| No, I've never heard it. | ||
| I've heard if you see the Buddha on the road, kill him. | ||
| I've never heard... | ||
| Beware of anybody who says they're enlightened or who says they don't want to be. | ||
| That's pretty good. | ||
| When you talk to people and they have this box that they don't want to operate in. | ||
| Hey, I don't give a fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is how I live. | |
| This is how I'm going to die. | ||
| It's like our thing we did and you and I broke down that country western song. | ||
| That ridiculous ending. | ||
| I'm happy to be a single-celled organism. | ||
| Anybody who wants to change that, you've got to come through me. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| That kind of constricted life sucks for the person who's living in the constricted life and for the people living around the person in the constricted life. | ||
| And it's like you can – if you just play around with that fucking idea that you can permanently – Permanently. | ||
| Shift your consciousness so that you are experiencing life in the way that, like, those, however many times you've had it happen in your life, some people more, sometimes less, when you're, for the first time you've, like, accomplished some big thing, and you get that sense of, like, oh my god, man, I can fucking, I can really do shit that I didn't think I could do. | ||
| That feeling is like the universe at that moment unfolds. | ||
| It's like a whole new room, a whole new giant land pops open in your subjective universe. | ||
| You're like, wow, there's an entire other part of this life I had no idea about. | ||
| Well, it's like, if you can always be in that state of recognizing that This is the most beautiful peak experience that could happen to anything, which I think is what enlightened people, the people I've been around who are very advanced, I wouldn't call them enlightened. | ||
| They're just happy, man. | ||
| They're just like, happy is the wrong word for it though. | ||
| They're like connected and they're really, really not afraid to express love. | ||
| You know, they're very, they're feeling love all the time. | ||
| I think that that's a cool idea that you could feel that all the time. | ||
| I think that's a beautiful idea that you could be in that place all the time. | ||
| If you're careful about your friends and you only surround yourself with positive people, I think you can work that out. | ||
| I think you can do that all the time. | ||
| It's all about constructing that environment, though. | ||
| You have to do that by sharp editing throughout your entire life. | ||
| You've got to figure out how to edit yourself and edit people. | ||
| You've got to figure out how to get rid of as many of your own negative instances, any of those that you can get away with not causing yourself. | ||
| Minimize that. | ||
| Try to get it down to zero. | ||
| None of the negative moments are created because of your actions. | ||
| And then figure out who's creating all those other negative moments and eliminate interaction with those people. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I mean, if you can do that and then find like-minded folks who will not put anything – try not to do anything negative to their friends and don't want to accept anything negative either, then you're around a bunch of people who love each other. | ||
| Let me throw out an idea because this is – What you're talking about is something that... | ||
| Some hippie bullshit. | ||
| No, it ain't. | ||
| It ain't hippie bullshit, man. | ||
| This is like the idea of like, well, in the beginning, you know, there's a... | ||
| The beginning of spiritual life is what they say. | ||
| They say the beginning of spiritual life is like a tendril, like the beginning of like when a tree grows, right? | ||
| And when a tree is growing at first, the most gigantic tree started off as a tiny little fucking sprig. | ||
| So when you're in that place, it's really important to keep shit out that can like fuck you up. | ||
| And that's the idea of cutting people out or like cutting out the negative elements. | ||
| But then there's this other idea that I was listening to some Ram Dass lecture. | ||
| Reactivity. | ||
| And that when you're around someone who's got a difficult personality or someone who's like an instigator, a drama vortex, You still get to decide if you're going to be reactive to that person or not. | ||
| You still get to be in control of the way you feel around that person. | ||
| But in the beginning, that person can make you feel like shit. | ||
| When you're around an asshole, your mood will drop. | ||
| Your mood shifts. | ||
| You get mad. | ||
| You get unhappy. | ||
| You feel threatened. | ||
| But the idea is as you advance and gain more and more control of your consciousness, then that stops happening. | ||
| So you use that asshole as an emotional gem. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You use them as an emotional or psychological growth sparring partner. | ||
| And as you deal with their douchiness, you learn how to better navigate douchiness throughout your life. | ||
| Yeah, and also for the first time when the asshole is around someone who isn't reacting to them being an asshole, they're going to be like, what the fuck is this? | ||
| Because their whole life, they've been going through life getting cues from people like, I don't think so. | ||
| So all of a sudden, if they're around someone who's like... | ||
| You know, beaming. | ||
| And the way that you would be beaming around when you saw, like, when Joey Diaz walks into a room. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're beaming that way around a cunt. | ||
| Suddenly they're like, what the fuck is this? | ||
| LAUGHTER Well, the real problem, though, is when they become physically violent. | ||
| When you have dumb cunts that want to punch you, that's when you run into real situations. | ||
| Yes, but how often? | ||
| I mean, that doesn't happen that often. | ||
| Most of the time, but you've managed to surround yourself with, you know, hipsters. | ||
| I mean, if you're in certain parts of the country, certain parts of cities, you can get punched in the face randomly. | ||
| There's a terrible video of a woman in London. | ||
| Some guy just comes and cracks her for no reason. | ||
| Yeah, I saw that. | ||
| They're looking for the guy. | ||
| Some teenage girl knocked unconscious. | ||
| Demonic son of a bitch. | ||
| It's just fucked up that people are capable of doing shit like that and that there's the broad spectrum of The possible human actions. | ||
| It's so broad. | ||
| I mean, you could be a guy that she could have crossed paths with a guy who was like, good morning, you know, top of the day to you and been real happy and made her feel really good. | ||
| And she could have moved on to, you know, her job or whatever, feeling like really good. | ||
| Instead, she runs into the wrong guy. | ||
| And then he cracks her and knocks her unconscious for no reason whatsoever. | ||
| She hits her head in the concrete like it's bad. | ||
| I saw it, dude. | ||
| She's out. | ||
| It's horrible. | ||
| You know what's amazing, man? | ||
| This is, again, that shit we were talking about in the beginning. | ||
| This is the shift that's happening. | ||
| Because there was a time in human history when a thug could go galloping up behind some young lass in the street and knock her down. | ||
| And, like, the entire planet doesn't know about it in a matter of, like, eight hours. | ||
| You know, this is the incredible time that we're in is that... | ||
| It's a double-edged sword. | ||
| You see something like that and you're either going to be like, God damn, this is a fucked up world we're living in. | ||
|
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There's guys who just run up behind someone and punch them in the head. | |
| Or the other side of it is like, fuck! | ||
| In a day or two, this act of violence has been broadcast all over the planet and has created a situation where people could talk about how awful it is and how bad that is that people are like that. | ||
| I think that elevates us a little bit. | ||
| I think it just takes a lot more time than we're used to because we're used to processing power going up in a year and hard drive space doubling. | ||
| We're used to all these massive improvements and then we don't see that in human nature and it's really frustrating. | ||
| I think that this shift that we keep saying I think it's just more subtle than people would like. | ||
| It's not as fast as going from an old tube television to a 55-inch flat screen. | ||
| It's not the difference between having DSL and having 56K. It's too small. | ||
| So we still see these versions of the worst-case scenarios of human behavior. | ||
| It's shocking to us that they still exist, but I think the direction is for them to exist less. | ||
| It seems like more and more, as part of the shift, things are standing out that aren't shifting more and more. | ||
| So like, you know, like Romney, for example, or like these like crazy fucking like, you know, homophobic, anti-abortion Republicans Talking about my family, boy? | ||
| These crusty old sons of bitches more and more are starting to look like monsters. | ||
| They're starting to look more like freaks. | ||
| Whereas they used to be able to like, you know, they used to be able to turn fucking high-powered water hoses on crowds of black people, you know, without losing their jobs. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, so this this shift is like, but it's really interesting to watch the way that a lot of these crusty old pundits are reacting to it, man. | ||
| They're having the same effect that when they threw water on the witch and the Wizard of Oz, you know, that kind of like they're hissing and shrieking and they don't know how to deal with it. | ||
| What's fascinating to me is that with this With this new sort of understanding of people that we're getting because of the internet, there's water all over me. | ||
| I spilled coffee on me. | ||
| I have a nice shirt and I didn't want to ruin it. | ||
| With this new understanding that people have of having the access to these kind of stories, having the access to these horrible stories, things that are happening from the Gaza Strip, this shift that's going on, as it's happening, All these horrific things that still exist in the world, they seem to escalate. | ||
| Almost as if they're worried that something's coming at them. | ||
| Almost as if, like, it's the, you know, the fundamentalism gets even more and more extreme and more and more hateful and more and more crazy. | ||
| And you start getting shit like God hates fags and guys holding up a fucking sign. | ||
| They have a whole website dedicated to it. | ||
| And, like, all of the hate that you see with, you know, we had... | ||
| On the podcast, we had this conversation with Shane Smith about Pakistan and India and the potential for nuclear war. | ||
| And it was one of the scariest conversations ever. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because these people, it's almost like a lost state like Pakistan. | ||
| He was talking about how chaotic it is and how chaotic the rulership is and how they hate India and India hates them and that different leaders have said they wanted to strap themselves to a nuclear bomb and go over there and blow the other people up. | ||
| That this all exists at the same time as this new understanding and this new shift. | ||
| It's almost like it's this resistance. | ||
| And it's almost like this thing that we have to rally against, like the most fucked up part of human nature. | ||
| It's like we have to rally against that. | ||
| And that's what unites people. | ||
| Otherwise, we'd be too lazy. | ||
| Otherwise, we would accept mediocrity. | ||
| We would accept a certain slow tempo to the evolution of human consciousness. | ||
| But this forces it to act. | ||
| All the evil and all the fucked up actions of the world and fucking drone attacks and all this craziness forces us to act and think. | ||
| Well, again, man, yes, I agree. | ||
| There is part of me that gets scared because I feel like that thing gets backed into a corner and it decides to press the button. | ||
| But I think that what's really what's happening is an amplification effect. | ||
| I think acts of violence are becoming less, but becoming more amplified because we're so we're becoming so much more appalled at the idea of like the barbarism of war and all the shit that humans do. | ||
| I think that that that that what's happening is God hates fags. | ||
| These people pop up. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then what happens, though? | ||
| People organize from the Internet and suddenly God hates fags is now whenever wherever they go, they get surrounded by mobs holding signs. | ||
| God hates signs. | ||
| God hates this. | ||
| God hates that. | ||
| Giant signs blocking them out. | ||
| So it's like the hate is getting absorbed. | ||
| It's getting, it's not working. | ||
| It's not working. | ||
| It just seems like it's horrible because it's being broadcast to so many people. | ||
| But the way people are reacting, that's what's important. | ||
| That's what's important. | ||
| As long as people are reacting. | ||
| You know, that's the number one thing and not ignoring it. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| And as long as people are reacting in whatever way, just fucking as simple as a thing is like just tweeting, just tweeting something, retweeting something about some of the violence that's happening, just anything to get the information out there and keep that fucking pot bubbling. | ||
| That's great, man. | ||
| That will continue to push the warmongers into the periphery. | ||
| And I think that what just happened with Romney and fucking Obama, Well, we're lucky. | ||
| Look what's going on with Egypt. | ||
| Where the new president decided to give himself all-powerful status. | ||
| But look what's happening. | ||
| Even there, look what's happening. | ||
| It's not working. | ||
| It's not fucking working. | ||
| That stuff isn't working in the way it used to work. | ||
| And that's the shift. | ||
| The mojo that these fucking... | ||
| Old white dudes used to have is fading. | ||
| It's fading away, man. | ||
| It feels like the magic is leaving them, which is why it's so beautiful when you watch Karl Rove on Fox News having a little Wizard of Oz-style man-behind-the-curtain meltdown as he realizes that his evil scheme to try to get Romney into power didn't fucking work. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| He was like, no, the numbers are wrong. | ||
| The numbers are wrong. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He wouldn't admit it, man. | ||
| He wouldn't admit the defeat. | ||
| Yeah, it's great to watch. | ||
| And a lot of them are like, that's what's happening. | ||
| They don't want to admit... | ||
| They're always upholding the virtues of this country and how we come from revolution. | ||
| But when the real revolution starts happening, they're like, I'm going to secede now. | ||
| I'm going to secede because the real revolution isn't a revolution where we all get to hide in our shacks and collect our fucking guns. | ||
| Look at this photo. | ||
| This photo is 200,000 Egyptians and they're protesting. | ||
| What's crazy is they're protesting around an ancient It's an obelisk. | ||
| It's from, you know, the dynastic Egypt. | ||
| It's this incredible stone mystery that's covered in hieroglyphs. | ||
| And these people are protesting around it and screaming and yelling that you can't have fucking... | ||
| We're done. | ||
| Like, we elected someone. | ||
| The idea is that we're now in a democracy. | ||
| You cannot have this crazy power grab. | ||
| But he wants to say that he can't get arrested, he can't go to jail, he can't be tried. | ||
| Didn't work! | ||
| Look at that! | ||
| Didn't work, asshole! | ||
| Amazing, though, that he would want to do that. | ||
| And he says it's because of his opposition. | ||
| Because his opposition would try to do terrible things to him. | ||
| The Muslim Brotherhood? | ||
| Well, he's the Muslim Brotherhood. | ||
| Oh, he is? | ||
| Yeah, the Muslim Brotherhood is what's in power now. | ||
| At least I believe so. | ||
| I believe that's how it goes. | ||
| For some reason I don't think that, but I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You might be right. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Here it goes. | ||
| Protesters stormed the headquarters of the Muslim Brotherhood in the country's second largest city of... | ||
| So it's the Muslim Brotherhood. | ||
| It is the Muslim Brotherhood. | ||
| So this guy wanted to do something where he didn't have any... | ||
| He had no worries whatsoever about ever being arrested and essentially he could... | ||
| Be a dictator. | ||
| He wanted to be a dictator. | ||
|
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|
Right. | |
| And they're like, no, bitch. | ||
| It just isn't working. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| It's the same thing as like, it's just whenever you start letting freedom out of the bottle, man, you're not going to get the freedom back in. | ||
| Once people feel that sense of like, holy shit, if we get together, we can change things in a big way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're not going to be, suddenly they're not going to be like, all right, you're okay. | ||
| We'll let you be the new dictator. | ||
| It's like, no, man, we've learned. | ||
| We've learned how to change things through the group mind. | ||
| Do you think it's possible, though, that moving forward we're ever going to get to a position of no... | ||
| We'll have no one above anyone else. | ||
| No one in a position of, like, president or where they can take executive privilege. | ||
| Like, Obama did that with that whole gunrunning thing. | ||
| With that whole, you know, that whole... | ||
| What the fuck they call it? | ||
| Fast and Furious? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Where they sold guns to the Mexican drug lords just to track them and those guns wound up being used on American citizens. | ||
| Like it doesn't make any sense. | ||
| The story makes no sense. | ||
| Like the story that they would sell guns to the Mexican drug lords so they could track the guns. | ||
| That's one of the dumbest fucking ideas I've ever heard in my life. | ||
| You're gonna arm them with thousands of guns so that you could track those guns. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Who do you think they're going to do with those guns? | ||
| They're going to kill people. | ||
| That's the craziest idea I've ever heard. | ||
| It's almost like that's their excuse, like that's what they're going to say, and they have it planned out and make it look like that's what they're doing, but really what they're doing is they're profiting on selling guns. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| And they're just playing dumb. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That makes a lot more sense to me. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense to me that someone would think that selling criminals guns is a good idea because then you could track the guns. | ||
| Like, what the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| Dude, we don't... | ||
| I mean, that's a problem. | ||
| That shit gets so obscured by, like... | ||
| They have so many great ways of, like, diffusing information, of adding information to information that's not real, of subtracting shit that it becomes... | ||
| Who the fuck knows what it is? | ||
| Right, but when it becomes a part of... | ||
| You know, like, the government where the president doesn't have to get tried on this. | ||
| He invoked this executive privilege. | ||
| He doesn't have to testify. | ||
| That's squirrely. | ||
| That shit's squirrely. | ||
| I don't think there's ever a time where anyone should be able to say, like, oh, I had something to do with that whole guns being sold to fucking crazy people who kill people on a regular basis, but I don't want to talk about it. | ||
| You either knew about it or you didn't know about it. | ||
| It's like, we hired you, bitch! | ||
| You gotta talk about it. | ||
| And if you knew about it and you didn't do anything about it, that's incompetence. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| If you let that fly, if Obama let that fly, that's one of the dumbest things a president could ever approve ever. | ||
| So we should know. | ||
| We should know whether or not, especially in the time of a re-election when that was going on. | ||
| There's no way he shouldn't have to say, well, I thought it was a Good idea. | ||
| At the time, they assured me these guns would misfire. | ||
| You know, there was no, there was no... | ||
| Or like Romney's tax returns. | ||
| Like that shit, like that kind of information should be all on the table. | ||
| Yeah, you should know how much he paid in taxes because you know how rich he is. | ||
| And if he really did weasel it out and then the last couple of years decided to start paying a lot of taxes to show, you know, so he had it on paper. | ||
| If you're running for the office like that, yeah, I mean, that's the, the idea is, you know, To change this fucking businessman president into, like, public servant president. | ||
| That's the idea that you want. | ||
| You want the fucking guy who, like, runs Costco. | ||
| I just saw this thing on Reddit. | ||
| The guy who runs Costco pays his employees, like, $18 an hour minimum. | ||
| They have health insurance and he only makes $500,000 a year. | ||
| This is the guy who fucking runs Costco. | ||
| Like, think about that. | ||
| Meanwhile, the guy who runs Walmart is, like, something out of fucking Pink Floyd the Wall. | ||
| He's just some pig man who's, like... | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's crazy, but that's the shift, man. | ||
| We want more things shifting to that so that you get the Costco version of the fucking president that's like, yeah, you know, I'm really just in this because I'm trying to make this country prosperous and the people in this country have as much access to, like, healthcare and what they need to live really great lives. | ||
| So more Richard Branson, less... | ||
| That's Rupert Murdoch. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| These old fucking warlock pigs, man. | ||
| Drive them into the shadows! | ||
| Warlock pigs? | ||
| That'd be an awesome name for a band. | ||
| Warlock pigs? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| We need more Bransons, Interstellar Travel. | ||
| We need more fucking Steve Jobs, you know? | ||
| We need more fucking, like, more of that running the show. | ||
| And I think that's gonna happen more and more. | ||
| Well, you know, what I'm really impressed with when you talk to people that work for Google. | ||
| When you talk to people that work for Google and they tell you what a great company is to work for and how well they're treated and, like, the facilities, their campus, I guess they call it, a campus. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You know, you hear those kind of stories. | ||
| Like, you know that it's possible that a company can operate like that. | ||
| Dude, any kind of super, anyone who's plugging into this vibe that's happening right now, whatever the fuck this thing is, man, you know right away that it's all about connectivity. | ||
| And you know right away that the feeling you get from giving more than you're supposed to give is such an awesome feeling. | ||
| And that feeling, that state of mind where you're putting out more than you're supposed to be putting out, it seems like in that state of mind is where the bigger ideas come from anyway. | ||
| It's like, That's creating a fertile ground in your consciousness to open up for, like, the big ideas. | ||
| But if you're shut down, closed down, if you're fucking... | ||
| if you're just one big human muscle spasm pushing all your gems into the black pit of your life, you know, hoarding and hiding and concealing, then you're shut down. | ||
| That's when you turn into Donald Trump with his dumbass tweets. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's so silly. | |
| Who's sillier than that guy? | ||
| Did you pay attention to that shit Brian? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I don't like the guy anymore. | |
| I used to like him a lot, but he just seems like he's a crazy kook now. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| Like, something happened. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Something happened. | |
| Like, he shifted. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's that Trump water. | |
| Hey, man, I can't see your face the way we have everything set up. | ||
| This is stupid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Eh, I know. | |
| I'm gonna see you, sweetie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We should put a TV on the other side of this monitor. | |
| Yeah, I don't want you, uh... | ||
| You could be making funny faces at me. | ||
| I wouldn't even know. | ||
| How dare you. | ||
| We're still working this place out, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Um... | ||
|
unidentified
|
My mic sounds weird. | |
| It sounds like I'm a robot. | ||
| Sounds fine to us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Does it sound okay to you? | |
| I think it's the Lakers knowing that you don't like them, but you're wearing their headset. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| They're getting mad. | ||
| Oh, that's Lakers colors. | ||
| These are all Skullcandy gave us these. | ||
| Thanks, Skullcandy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you have the Bill Burr ones down there? | |
| Bill Burr ones? | ||
| Oh, yeah, the Boston Celtics. | ||
| Come on! | ||
| Come on! | ||
| Celtics. | ||
| They have them, I guess, for basically every team. | ||
| Are these good headsets, man? | ||
| I've been real close to forking out some dope. | ||
| No, I'll give you a pair of these. | ||
| Hell yeah! | ||
| They're awesome. | ||
| Yeah, Skullcandy's been sending them to us. | ||
| They're like 140 bucks. | ||
| Yeah, they're expensive. | ||
| They're good, though. | ||
| They sound fucking wicked. | ||
| They sent me this whole email explaining how they spent a lot of money on research and development to try to make really good sounding ones. | ||
| That initially they were more of like a lifestyle company. | ||
| They had like good ones, but now they're concentrating on really creating like something that like a DJ would listen with. | ||
| I leave fucking earbuds scattered across this fucking country like spider thread. | ||
| And chargers. | ||
| Just chargers and fucking earbuds everywhere I go. | ||
| And sunglasses. | ||
| And sunglasses. | ||
| I lost my goddamn eye pad. | ||
| I lost my fucking digital recorder. | ||
| I'm like a fucking 11-year-old with like bad ADD at a summer camp on this last tour I did. | ||
| I left shit everywhere. | ||
| You even lost me! | ||
| Well, see, first of all... | ||
| I have lost the puppet! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You lost Lil Hobo! | |
| Hey, what about me, bud? | ||
| Saying this last tour, whenever you go on tour, man, you're going from one hotel room to another hotel room. | ||
| You're lucky if you keep 80% of your shit. | ||
| It's amazing how much you lose, dude! | ||
| It's amazing! | ||
| Dude, do you feel bad? | ||
| Not that I do this, but I think you might do it. | ||
| Do you feel guilty when you jizz in the hotel room? | ||
| What do you throw the tissue down? | ||
| Have you ever done that and you realize... | ||
| You laughter fuck. | ||
| What are you wiping in? | ||
| I throw it. | ||
| You feel bad? | ||
| You just throw it down the wall. | ||
| Oh, you're a joke, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're sweet. | |
| Don't do that. | ||
| Well, you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, I feel bad for the maids, man. | ||
| Like, all the fucking... | ||
| Did you tip them? | ||
| The maids? | ||
| I just started fucking tipping the maids. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I didn't even know you were supposed to do that. | |
| Yeah, that's something I just woke up to. | ||
| Yeah, I just started doing that. | ||
| Good for you. | ||
| But unfortunately, for many, many maids, I've had to pick up a crusty old thing. | ||
| How many of them sucked on the napkins? | ||
| To take in your salty treasure. | ||
| How many of them are immortal now? | ||
| Take in your salty treasure. | ||
| Oh, like that's what they feed on? | ||
| Yeah, like a washcloth just sucking on the washcloth. | ||
| They fight over them? | ||
| You come in the bathroom and she doesn't know that you used your key to get back in because she didn't hear the door open because she's making that sucking noise. | ||
| She's like on top of it like a praying mantis eating a fucking bug. | ||
| Like a vampire. | ||
| Slowly starting to bring color back to her face. | ||
| God, vampires were so close to being awesome, man. | ||
| If only they wanted jizz, huh? | ||
| Well, that would be the succubus. | ||
| They would be attached to your dick and balls with like knife-like teeth so that you were scared to move. | ||
| So you'd lay there in terror and you would just shoot a load out of pure fear. | ||
| And they would just keep sucking on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What a great look. | |
| And they wouldn't let you pull it out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh god! | |
| Oh god! | ||
| Please! | ||
| Please! | ||
| And you know that feeling like after you come where you want to like... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like if someone touches your dick like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| Yeah! | ||
| Like it tickles almost. | ||
| Like it's too crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Blowjob after you come. | |
| Imagine that if a giant succubus with teeth. | ||
| It's attaching itself to the head of your dick and sucking on it. | ||
| And you can't pull your dick back because if you do, it gets shredded. | ||
| And you feel the stinger on your neck kind of push in a little bit if you start struggling too much? | ||
| Yeah, this giant stinger like a scorpion comes over the top of your head so while you're blowing it, And while it's sucking your dick, its stinger is like attached to your spine. | ||
| And you're looking out in this weird cave it's dragged you into and it's just all like withered dude corpses. | ||
| Maybe a couple of guys still alive. | ||
| And the stinger has two vice-like tentacles on either side that clamp down on your neck. | ||
| So right before it pushes that stinger against your spine, those things get tighter and tighter and it lets you know, don't go anywhere, I'm sucking your dick. | ||
| Yeah, and this is gonna go on for five years. | ||
| Giant teeth. | ||
| Dude, I never pictured them like that. | ||
| Like, when I think of a succubus, I think of World of Warcraft, this fucking hot chick with, like, leather boots, like a dominatrix with a little whip that, like, you know, over-fucks you, but it's great. | ||
| Maybe it starts out as a beautiful girl, and then you realize in the middle of having sex with it, like, sort of like Jack Nicholson when he's making out with that lady in The Shining, and then all of a sudden she was, like, a hundred years old. | ||
| With cancer all over her back. | ||
| Maybe that's how it gets you. | ||
| Or Conan. | ||
| Maybe it looks like Rose McGowan, and then you move in for the kill. | ||
| You start squeezing her ass, and all of a sudden she morphs into this thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And just, you can't move. | ||
| It's clamped to hold your neck, and then it starts sucking you off. | ||
| Yeah, I think that's the story of a lot of people's fucking lives, man. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It always starts off like that. | ||
| Next thing you know, you're clamped into some kind of... | ||
| It's a symbol, you know? | ||
| It's like the sirens that sing, and the sailors crash their ships on the island, you know? | ||
| It's all the same fucking story, right? | ||
| How come guys don't see those in prison? | ||
| Like, you know, some girl, a fake girl with a key that's gonna let you out. | ||
| Do you ever hear of, like, crazy hallucinations in prison? | ||
| I don't know about that. | ||
| I'm pretty sure there's some pretty crazy hallucinations in prison. | ||
| Yeah, but I mean, like, that kind of reoccurring theme of, like, someone with a light near the rocks going, come on over here. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You know, and the sailors smash into the rocks. | ||
| Prison harpies? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's prison harpies, man. | ||
| They're called trannies. | ||
| We had Victor Conte on. | ||
| He was telling us about his time in a minimum security prison where you were allowed to leave whenever you want. | ||
| People would come and pick up their family. | ||
| You only had to stay there a certain amount of time. | ||
| You could get passes to leave. | ||
| He said that the security guards, like there was a girl security guard that would make money prostituting herself. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, you could go get some head from the security guard. | ||
| She made a lot of extra money that way. | ||
| Makes sense to me, these poor bastards. | ||
| How are you not going to let these guys fuck, man? | ||
| That's why there's so many problems. | ||
| It's awful, man. | ||
| I would add that to the goddamn Constitution. | ||
| If you're in prison, you get a blowjob a month. | ||
| No, because you've got to be around some crazy fucking people that want to kill women. | ||
| What if you're around some really crazy serial murderer character and someone's got to suck his dick? | ||
| Whose job should that be? | ||
| Another serial murderer. | ||
| A guy? | ||
| Yeah, whatever. | ||
| Dude, who cares? | ||
| There's just a fucking hole in the wall. | ||
| You don't know what's on the other end. | ||
| It's like, you make it very like... | ||
| Guys would bite each other's dicks off. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| You fucking defang them. | ||
| You can't defang a guy. | ||
| Because he's on the other end. | ||
| If he grabs a hole... | ||
| De-tooth it. | ||
| Just pulls it out with his hands. | ||
| Look, I haven't perfected this system yet, but I'm working on it. | ||
| Because if he couldn't blow you with his hands, it would be an inferior blowjob. | ||
| Even through a hole in the wall, you'd be like, what the fuck? | ||
| Let me just take it down from this disgusting level it's gotten. | ||
| Have you heard about the new program where they give prisoners kittens? | ||
| Have you heard about this? | ||
| Yeah, I have heard. | ||
| And it makes them like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you have the phone number? | |
| What's that? | ||
| He wants to give away a cat. | ||
| Oh, you had so sad! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm down two of my pets. | |
| I have one left. | ||
| Dude, yeah, it's really cool, but it's like just like having these fucking cats is changing the prisoner's behavior in massive ways, man, because they know that if they get in fights, they lose their cat. | ||
| So they don't want to fucking lose the cat. | ||
| So it's like it creates this like it adds peace. | ||
| You got to bring love into prison. | ||
| That's the problem, man. | ||
| Love is the answer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Brother? | |
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Love you. | ||
| It is, goddammit! | ||
| If a little fucking kitten can transform some hardcore thug into somebody who's like, you know, I'm not going to fight because Princess is back in the cell and I don't want to lose her. | ||
| That's love, man. | ||
| That's the most powerful thing. | ||
| That's a lot more powerful than being like, we'll put you in solitary confinement if you fuck up. | ||
| How many of these guys are actually fucking the cat, though? | ||
| A lot. | ||
| Most of them, right? | ||
| Maybe the cat has, like, a special attachment when you stick a dick in its ass and lorem goes off. | ||
| You get an RFID chip. | ||
| You push the button with your cock. | ||
| Dude, try to fuck a cat. | ||
| You're not going to have to fuck a cat. | ||
| They probably do an operation on the cat where there's like a little toggle. | ||
| And as long as the poop's going that way, it passes the toggle and it doesn't go off. | ||
| But if a dick goes in the other way, click, it hits the switch. | ||
| And then the RFID chip signals the alarm. | ||
| That's a flashlight in prison. | ||
| Yeah, they would fuck that guy. | ||
| I think prisoners should have fleshlights, man. | ||
| I don't know why we're acting like it's going to do anything good to try to chain someone's libidos in a cage. | ||
| That's not going to add happiness to a prison or peacefulness. | ||
| Everyone, you look at these prison riots, they're like, why are they rioting? | ||
| They're not fucking. | ||
| These guys have so much testosterone in them, you're not letting them fuck. | ||
| Yeah, but even if you give them fleshlights, that's not as good as raping a guy. | ||
| That's part of the fun for them, I think, is holding someone down and getting that man pussy. | ||
| I mean, when they're doing that to each other, that's part of what they're doing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Again, I'll disagree. | |
| This is like we're on CMBC. We're at a round table. | ||
| I respectfully disagree. | ||
| I love the way you phrased that. | ||
| I'd rather be punched in the face and fuck a flashlight. | ||
| Yeah, no shit, man. | ||
| But dude, I saw a terrifying thing. | ||
| Have you ever seen that thing of the dude who's like the toughest prisoner in like Columbia? | ||
| Have you ever seen that thing? | ||
| And he's just like, that guy's a monster. | ||
| And he's like, I make a man my girlfriend. | ||
| I let him sleep in my bed. | ||
| What is it he says? | ||
| I take sex from him. | ||
| If not, I kill him. | ||
| I give him my food. | ||
| Yeah, it's a really dark African guy. | ||
| I fucked him. | ||
| A new guy come, I fuck him. | ||
| I fuck him. | ||
| I have sex with him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That, well that, yeah, that kind of shit. | ||
| Brian, if you find that, pull that up because it's just the audio alone. | ||
| It's like most evil prisoner of all time or something is what it's called. | ||
| Or just beast, prisoner, man, monster. | ||
| It might knock us offline, but I'll try. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sons of bitches. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I just looked, you might be right, there might be nothing here. | |
| I just looked on this website that checks everything. | ||
| We're in the woods. | ||
| We're in the woods of discovery. | ||
| We're going to get it worked out. | ||
| This sucks, but it's online. | ||
| I'm looking at the video. | ||
| It's not that bad. | ||
| It's working. | ||
| But most importantly, it's just got to go through a process. | ||
| This whole thing is going through a process. | ||
| It's exciting to me. | ||
| I've never built anything before. | ||
| I've never slowly started and sort of organized and put it together. | ||
| And to have it the way I want, I love having the brick wall, like a real brick wall. | ||
| I love the oak table. | ||
| These are the early days. | ||
| Yeah, but I love real shit like that. | ||
| Bricks and wood. | ||
| It makes me feel good. | ||
| That stuff makes it kind of like metal, like cast iron, like these legs and shit. | ||
| Werewolf sculpture. | ||
| Yeah, that too. | ||
| Perfect. | ||
| I'm going to bring one of my Buddhas in too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My Buddha's going to rock it in the corner and watch over us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You should bring the gold one. | |
| Not the big one. | ||
| It's too hard to move. | ||
| The big one's too hard to move, but I got another one that's pretty big too. | ||
| It's going to go here. | ||
| Cool, man. | ||
| Watch over us. | ||
| Badass. | ||
| Any suggestions? | ||
| What else should I do this place? | ||
| Fucking a float tank. | ||
| Yeah, but that's... | ||
| No one's going to... | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| Are you going to have someone going there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| And they're going to be annoyed. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Float tank. | ||
| And then you give your pals keys to this place so they can come out here and float. | ||
| Yeah, come back. | ||
| Or just go to the float lab. | ||
| Where's float lab? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Venice. | |
| Duncan was here, written in blood on the wall. | ||
| Oh yeah, I would waste blood on paint. | ||
| Maybe a little period blood. | ||
| Oh, who knows. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Have you seen those blood bricks that they can make now? | |
| It's a brick that they take blood and they mix it with something and it makes a brick and they're making houses out of these blood bricks. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| Who's blood? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Yeah, how do you know there's not a couple of people mixed in your house? | ||
| Well, no, that's cool. | ||
| I'll tell you this. | ||
| If I was going to die, I wouldn't mind somebody withdrawing my blood and using it for blood bricks for their house. | ||
| Would you rather that or Tibetan Sky Funeral? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sky... | |
| Well, no, both. | ||
| Turn my blood into bricks and let the buzzards eat me. | ||
| Well, you could probably grind most of you and turn into bricks. | ||
| Why just fuck with the blood? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You just said blood bricks. | ||
| That whole idea of the way we do death in this country is so goddamn sterile and fucked up. | ||
| Well, it's a scam. | ||
| First of all, the big scam is that you have to pay for the funeral and that it's really expensive. | ||
| You have to pay a lot of money for a casket and you have to embalm the body. | ||
| It's bullshit. | ||
| They have it set up where the body gets embalmed, I believe, even if it gets cremated. | ||
| I think you still have to embalm the body. | ||
| I think that's the law. | ||
| Dude, the Tibetan sky ritual is such a beautiful fucking thing, man. | ||
| When you watch someone turn into a bunch of birds, that's really cool to watch that happen. | ||
| Do you guys have wills? | ||
| I don't yet. | ||
| I need one. | ||
| Do you know if you don't have a will? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think. | |
| I'm not 100% sure, but the government just takes all your shit. | ||
| Even if you have living parents in another state. | ||
| I gotta get a will. | ||
| I don't think that's true. | ||
| I think it goes to the next of kin. | ||
| Joe, if something fucking... | ||
| Joe, if something happens to me, dude, you can have my little hobo and my computer. | ||
| Oh, dude, that's all I want. | ||
| I own two things. | ||
| That's all I want. | ||
| I gotta piss again. | ||
| You gotta piss again? | ||
| Dude, I drank so much coffee today. | ||
| Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. | ||
| We don't have much time left in this podcast, unfortunately, because I got a big, stupid, important meeting. | ||
| Where's it at? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because that highway was fucked. | |
| I don't know if you got my text message. | ||
| There was like five cars, all cop cars, it seemed like they got in a car accident and the whole freeway is closed. | ||
| Which freeway? | ||
| 101. Oh, great. | ||
| Whoopsies. | ||
| Whoopsie daisies. | ||
| Well, I'll try. | ||
| I'll try. | ||
| I'll try to make it. | ||
| But if I don't make it, I don't really give a fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sorry. | |
| I hate to leave anybody hanging. | ||
| The more I think about yesterday's podcast, I don't know if I want to say this. | ||
| Say it! | ||
| The more I think that guy is a tweaker. | ||
| You think so? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Most people thought that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| A lot of people who listened in thought he was off. | ||
| And that he would contradict himself. | ||
| The fact that he knew so much about those drugs, but yet, we read on Gizmodo, they didn't cite sources, but they said sources close to him say that he's always been interested in finding drugs that make women sexual. | ||
| It kind of goes along with the whole 67-year-old guy, 20-year-old girlfriend thing. | ||
| It sounds like a dude who's just... | ||
| that's his thing. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, he claims not, but he knows so much about them, man. | ||
| How the fuck do you know so much about bath salts and MDPV and these different hypersexual compounds? | ||
| And how could he tell us the exact chemical composition of it? | ||
| Remember when he told us what it actually was? | ||
| Why would you say that unless you have great interest in it? | ||
| And then the other thing was saying that I'd have to be addicted. | ||
| If you can't do that, then I would be on it right now. | ||
| Do I sound like I'm on it? | ||
| He might be on it right now, but I don't necessarily think that a strong-willed man like that has to be addicted to something. | ||
| What's the highlight? | ||
| Supposedly really hypersexual. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| But I figure if you're a guy like McAfee, he created this business. | ||
| He's a very headstrong guy, very powerful guy. | ||
| A guy like that could probably quit a really fucking dangerous drug for a little bit. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| It's hard to tell when someone lies about anything. | ||
| If they lie about anything. | ||
| Or not completely honest about anything. | ||
| You immediately have to look at the whole thing and go, well, if he's not telling the truth about doing those drugs, then how can I listen to all the other stuff? | ||
| It sounds like it's a lot of who the fuck knows what to believe at that point. | ||
| And the fact that he has no charges, nothing on record, there's no warrant for his arrest, there's nothing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It kind of made me think that he was just super paranoid. | |
| Well, it could be that. | ||
| It could be that. | ||
| You know, I mean, I told you there was that story that someone had said that he thought that there was people outside, and he had a conversation. | ||
| I heard this. | ||
| I heard this. | ||
| This you can get on Wired, this discussion. | ||
| This is something. | ||
| Hold on a second. | ||
| I'll find it, because maybe we could pull it up, and it's audio anyway. | ||
| Wired, I think it's McAfee off the rails. | ||
| Crazy audio. | ||
| But he was talking about how there was these people, and they were standing there, they were like military people, and they were standing there, and they didn't say anything. | ||
| They just stood there, and he wouldn't move, and so he just stood there too. | ||
| And they slowly went away, like after hours and hours. | ||
| So he was standing there and he was talking about how much his arm hurt because he was leaning up against this wall. | ||
| He couldn't move. | ||
| If he moved, they would shoot him. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Yeah, but then people were saying there's no footprints there. | ||
| Was that house that somebody posted on your message board, the guy that died? | ||
| Like, it was like a shack that had an American flag in it. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know whose house that was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Is that what it was supposed to be? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I thought that's what I read, that somebody that died. | |
| Because it was like this... | ||
| I mean, it looked like a shack. | ||
| Like, it just looked like a junkyard shack, you know? | ||
| Yeah, he's fucking... | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| Yeah, that was an interesting podcast because I kept on thinking about it after when I got home. | ||
| And then the more I thought about it, I was just like, you know, this just seems like something's not right. | ||
| It was cool, though, that he was willing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know, it was cool that he did it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I feel like I'm just getting trolled, though. | |
| Maybe. | ||
| That's what it seems like, doesn't it? | ||
| I hope so. | ||
| That's what it seems like. | ||
| I hope so. | ||
| Smells like a big old troll. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I hope so. | ||
| I'm trying to find this because it's really interesting. | ||
| I really want to play it. | ||
| Okay, here it is. | ||
| If you go to audio, just look at this. | ||
| Google search says audio, McAfee still in hiding, predicts they will track me down. | ||
| What a brilliant man. | ||
| The picture of him is him, of course, shirtless with a gun. | ||
| Another different photo of him shirtless with a gun. | ||
| Like, apparently he posed for quite a few photos while holding a gun. | ||
| McAfee predicts during podcasts being broadcast to millions of people, they will track me down. | ||
| But he's, you know, I appreciate the fact that the guy was willing to talk to us. | ||
| I mean, it was pretty interesting to be able to talk to someone who's in this crazy scenario. | ||
| Yes, that's cool. | ||
| Who's a crazy person in a crazy scenario, it sounds like. | ||
| Well, he's an eccentric, you know. | ||
| I definitely think, I mean, that's a lot of what it takes to become some super millionaire-type character. | ||
| Yeah, it's true. | ||
| I mean, that's the thing, man. | ||
| You've got to be able to, like, let your mind go into the weird places, but you've got to be able to come back. | ||
| Do you see this picture, Brian? | ||
| That's the audio you're looking for. | ||
| Wait for it to pull up. | ||
| The whole story is so compelling. | ||
| It's so Hunter S. Thompson-esque. | ||
| This guy just goes off the rails on an island, 67 years old, 20-year-old girlfriend. | ||
| Pictures of him with guns, surrounded by dogs. | ||
| He's got 11 dogs. | ||
| It's like, wow. | ||
| Feral. | ||
| He went feral. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| He has all these lawsuits that are coming after him and he will not pay. | ||
| He's like, I simply will not pay. | ||
| He goes, I will, you know, I will spend 10 million dollars to fight it to give them nothing. | ||
| What are the lawsuits about? | ||
| Well, one of them was about, he had this, he was connected to this It's sort of a sport where they would fly these, looks like motorcycles that are attached to kite wings. | ||
| It's really crazy and they're really maneuverable apparently. | ||
| But they would do these low altitude, you know, not even altitude, low off, I mean basically just very close to the ground, they would do these Things like acrobatics spin around on these fucking planes. | ||
| Well, someone crashed and died. | ||
| And so he got sued. | ||
| And that's when he decided apparently to move to Belize. | ||
| He just loaded up his truck and he moved to Beverly. | ||
| He just got the fuck out. | ||
| And I guess Belize won't extradite him or something? | ||
| I don't know how it works. | ||
| He apparently says that if he loses the court cases, it doesn't matter. | ||
| They'll just come take his money. | ||
| Like, if you lose, you lose. | ||
| But that he doesn't believe that he's guilty because he wasn't even driving it. | ||
| He wasn't responsible for maintaining it. | ||
| It wasn't his, you know what I mean? | ||
| It wasn't his fault this guy died like this. | ||
| But apparently he was working hard to promote this crazy sort of a sport. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I had a phone call from John McAfee, who was calling to tell me that the police were closing in. | |
| He had spent the night in an undisclosed house in Belize, sleeping on a bed infested with lice, and that he felt that the end was near, that they would arrest him at any minute, but he was not going to surrender because he was convinced that they would kill him. | ||
| I've been following McAfee's case in Belize for the past six months, ever since April 30th, when the police raided him and accused him of being a drug trafficker and possessing illegal firearms. | ||
| Over those six months, I've spent weeks in Belize and interviewed McAfee both in person and on the telephone, probably over a hundred hours of interviews. | ||
| And I can say without a doubt that he is a very complex person. | ||
| But whether or not he's a murderer is yet to be seen. | ||
| I recorded McAfee's phone calls to me this morning with his permission, and what follows are those calls. | ||
| One of the charges against you is that you're a psychopath. | ||
| What do you have to say about that? | ||
| Well, if I were a psychopath, I would not be confident to comment on it other than to say yes or no. | ||
| And either one, if I were a psychopath, would be irrelevant. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I do not think I'm a psychopath. | |
| I like people. | ||
| I think psychopaths are sort of anti-social folks that hate people. | ||
| I tend to love people. | ||
| I tend to love people in spite of their faults, in spite of the things that they do or attempt to do to me. | ||
| You're well aware of Marcia, for example, who plotted for three months to have me kidnapped for money. | ||
| Yeah, whenever you hear shit like, plotted! | ||
| She lived with me after that for two additional months before it finally got too intense. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is a good question. | |
| Why do you surround yourself with people of questionable character? | ||
| Well, I surround myself with people of unquestionable character, too. | ||
| Eddie Ann Cohn, I don't know a more honest, God-fearing person. | ||
| Yourself, I think I befriended you and embraced you as I embraced anyone else. | ||
| This is not even the audio that I was looking for, unfortunately. | ||
| It's pretty good, though. | ||
| That's pretty good, but the other one was better because it was really nuts. | ||
| Dude, when I worked at the comedy store, there was this lady who would call. | ||
| I can't remember her name. | ||
| But she would call and like... | ||
| It was interesting the way that her insanity functioned. | ||
| Because she'd call and be like... | ||
| She would always say she used to work out there. | ||
| I can't remember her name. | ||
| But then she'd start being like, yes, you know... | ||
| Yeah, last Wednesday, three men came into my house and they raped me and left. | ||
| And, you know, like, would slip in these really weird, hardcore stories. | ||
| She called a few times and there was always, like, these plots against her. | ||
| You know, they did, like, you know, I was kidnapped. | ||
| And she was just making things up. | ||
| But she believed it and you know what I mean? | ||
| It's like when your mind – I'm not saying – I don't know about McCann. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Maybe he's altogether. | ||
| Maybe he's totally there. | ||
| People are really plotting against him. | ||
| I mean rich people live in a different land. | ||
| But it's interesting how like – People who are paranoid the way it comes out. | ||
| It's not like they're going to be like, ah, everybody's out for me! | ||
| Yeah, but the idea that people are looking to kidnap them. | ||
| She's been plotting to kidnap me. | ||
| When someone starts talking in that sort of matter-of-factly, there's a disconnect there from reality as well. | ||
| Dude, we've got to end this podcast. | ||
| I'm so sorry. | ||
| But we'll do it again quite soon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cool. | |
| Awesome. | ||
| Let's do it again as often as possible. | ||
| Yes, please. | ||
| Powerful. | ||
| Powerful, Duncan. | ||
| Powerful, Brian. | ||
| Driving all the way over here for 40 minutes of Ustream. | ||
| You're the fucking man. | ||
| And we'll be back tomorrow at 3 p.m. | ||
| here with the great Eddie Bravo. | ||
| So we're going to have some fun. | ||
| And then this weekend, Duncan, me, and just three of us in this room will be in Austin, Texas. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And we'll be performing at Austin City Limits. | ||
| It should be really fun. | ||
| The Moody Theater, it's called. | ||
| And I'm fucking really looking forward to that. | ||
| We don't get a chance to go to Austin that often. | ||
| I love Austin. | ||
| It's one of the greats. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I would marry Austin. | |
| I would marry the fuck out of Austin. | ||
| It's a great city. | ||
| Definitely marry Austin. | ||
| I'll let Austin come in. | ||
| Alright, this show had no commercials in the beginning. | ||
| We'll have none in the end. | ||
| I am sorry, sponsors, but go fuck yourself today. | ||
| Powerfulonit.com. | ||
| That's it! | ||
| This fucking show's over. | ||
| Go to Duncan Trussell, T-R-U-S-S-E-L-L, and follow his ass on Twitter. | ||
| DuncanTrussell.com. | ||
| Iron Lord Meat Shift Challenge. | ||
| If you want to get in shape in December, we're all going to get in shape together. | ||
| Yes, he's got a meat shift challenge. | ||
| Everyone that is connected to this must commit to doing what is absolutely necessary and writing all your shit down and getting shape. | ||
| Duncan's going to do it. | ||
| I got a trainer who's going to be on the podcast every week. | ||
| I'm fucking psyched. | ||
| I love to hear that, man. | ||
| Brian, you in? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| You sounded angry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You sounded angry with us. | |
| Alright, we'll see you guys tomorrow. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| God bless your motherfucker. | ||
| See ya. |
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