Nov. 29, 2012 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:30:15
Participants
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Shazam, bitches. | ||
| I don't hear shit. | ||
| Oh, I don't even have my... | ||
| That's how high I was. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| I don't even have the headphones on my ears. | ||
| I'm like, why am I not hearing anything? | ||
| Meanwhile, they're pressed up against the top of my head. | ||
| What the fuck, dude? | ||
| Really? | ||
| After all these years? | ||
| That's how you roll in it? | ||
| And when Eddie Bravo is here? | ||
| That's embarrassing. | ||
| When you do some serious stoner shit and everybody knows you're a stoner, you're like, God damn it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fucked up one for the cause. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a lot. | ||
| This show, Rogan Experience, is brought to you by... | ||
| This episode is brought to you by Audible.com. | ||
| And Audible.com has this thing that I've been raving about because it's one of the coolest ideas that I've ever heard in technology when it comes to audio books and audio podcasts. | ||
| What they've done is... | ||
| They've created something that's an app for the Kindle Fire, and it really is worth getting it just for this. | ||
| It's an amazing application. | ||
| What it does is it allows you, if you're a book reader, I have a Kindle. | ||
| And I also have a Nook, and they're both great. | ||
| But the difference between this Kindle Fire thing is you can be reading the book, and when you're going to bed at night, you can shut it off, and it will sync with your smartphone, and then when you get in your car, you hear the audio version of the book. | ||
| It's fucking incredible. | ||
| And it's done by professional actors. | ||
| So it's like a really good audio companion book to the original book that you can... | ||
| So you can either read it or listen to it, which is fucking brilliant. | ||
| I think that's like one of the coolest inventions I've ever heard of. | ||
| I got a question, though. | ||
| Yeah, go ahead. | ||
| If you listen to a lot of books, you know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Can you still say you read a lot? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's a very good question. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know if you can. | ||
| You don't read, you listen to it! | ||
| You listen to a lot of books! | ||
| I think it's close. | ||
| It's close, but it's probably not the same. | ||
| There's probably something involved in actually reading the words yourself. | ||
| Yeah, it seems more prestigious, right? | ||
| That you actually read it yourself? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Why is that more prestigious? | ||
| Because it's boring. | ||
| Because it's more boring. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| I definitely think there's something for reading as opposed to watching TV. Like, I find that people who read more than they watch TV, generally they have more interesting shit to talk about. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A little smarter. | ||
| They trust... | ||
| Type on letters and sentences on paper. | ||
| More than like visual evidence. | ||
| It's kind of weird. | ||
| Like, I read it. | ||
| I read it. | ||
| It means more because someone typed it out. | ||
| Like, people don't lie and fuck up reports and fuck up all these different studies. | ||
| Oh, I thought we were talking about books. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, shit. | |
| I'm sorry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are you talking about? | |
| No, I'm standing up for the people that listen to books because I think I'm going to get into listening books. | ||
| I don't have time to read goddamn books, man. | ||
| I don't have time. | ||
| I'm busy. | ||
| There's a lot of shit you can listen to at audible.com. | ||
| You can listen to lectures and stand-up comedy and podcasts. | ||
| They have everything. | ||
| What's the matter? | ||
| Oh, I thought you said something. | ||
| Anyway, Kindle is an awesome tool, and this WhisperSync that links up with Audible.com is just brilliant. | ||
| It's just unbelievable. | ||
| It's such a great application. | ||
| Audible.com is offering, if you go to Audible.com forward slash Joe, you can get one free audio book and 30 days free of service from Audible. | ||
| It's really an excellent service and a big supporter of podcasts. | ||
| We're also brought to you by Onnit.com. | ||
| If you haven't been to Onnit in a while, we used to just sell vitamins and nutrients, which we still do, but we sell a lot of other cool shit too. | ||
| What we started doing is just all the shit that we find out about that's really good, we just start selling it like blenders. | ||
| I would always talk about kale shakes because I drink them every morning. | ||
| It's one of the best things I've ever done as far as like health to give me energy. | ||
| I feel fucking great when I have these big kale shakes and just filled with nutrients and vitamins. | ||
| It just really feels good. | ||
| Like I feel physically better. | ||
| There's no doubt about it. | ||
| There's garlic in it and ginger in it. | ||
| So we just started selling these blenders. | ||
| We sell these Blendtec blenders. | ||
| They're fucking badass. | ||
| I had a Vitamix before that. | ||
| Pretty fucking good, too. | ||
| The difference is the Blendtec really makes it like almost everything turns it really liquidy, whereas the Vitamix, there's a little more chewy to it. | ||
| But either way, both of them are great. | ||
| We sell the Blendtecs. | ||
| We also sell kettlebells now and battle ropes. | ||
| Kettlebells and battle ropes, have you ever seen like... | ||
| Battle rapes. | ||
| Have you ever seen any of those countdown to UFC shows where guys are doing strength and conditioning? | ||
| A lot of times you see them whipping these big, heavy marine ropes. | ||
| They look like ropes that you would use to tie up boats. | ||
| That's actually exactly what they are. | ||
| And that's actually exactly where we get them. | ||
| They're fucking badass. | ||
| It's a wicked workout. | ||
| It's great for your cardio, your shoulders. | ||
| It works your core. | ||
| Everything works. | ||
| It's like real functional strength type shit. | ||
| That's what we're selling. | ||
| We're also selling the best supplements we can find, the best things we can sell you, anything that we find that we find personally beneficial. | ||
| A lot of these things are very controversial, especially the idea of nootropics, which are vitamins and nutrients that you take to enhance brain function. | ||
| And there's a lot of debate on that, man. | ||
| There's a lot of people that don't believe in it. | ||
| There's a lot of people that try it and say they don't experience anything. | ||
| But every single aspect of alpha brain, all the different ingredients, have been closely studied by people for years. | ||
| There's actually a whole page of the science behind it. | ||
| We have altered and improved the formula now. | ||
| There was people that were having like issues with choline. | ||
| It's a very strong nootropic and it really does, in my opinion, dramatically affect cognitive function. | ||
| I think that you just need a certain amount of nutrients to get shit done and they have isolated the best nutrients for optimum use of the mind and it's very controversial and because of that we offer 30 pills, the first 30 pills you order with any of the supplements, you get a 100% money back guarantee. | ||
| You don't even have to return the product. | ||
| The reason behind that is two-fold. | ||
| One, because nobody's trying to rip you off. | ||
| If I didn't believe in this shit, as Eddie Bravo yawns, damn, I'm doing one of my best commercials ever, and you yawn. | ||
| Dude, all your commercials are dope. | ||
| They're all good. | ||
| They all suck. | ||
| But we've got to get through them, folks. | ||
| Go get some Alphabrain. | ||
| That's the point. | ||
| You get your money back. | ||
| You don't even have to return the product. | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| I take that shit. | ||
| I take... | ||
| Alpha Brain and Nut Shroom Tech. | ||
| As a matter of fact, I'm out. | ||
| I need some more. | ||
| I got some right here. | ||
| Go in that room. | ||
| There's a whole box. | ||
| I take it every day. | ||
| I believe it works, man. | ||
| You know, I know you wouldn't. | ||
| I mean, you've done way more research into those ingredients than I have. | ||
| And I'm a supplement freak. | ||
| You know me. | ||
| I'm way into vitamins and shit. | ||
| I take more vitamins and minerals than most people I know. | ||
| It's not going to turn a dumb person to a brilliant person. | ||
| But what it's going to do... | ||
| It's going to give your brain the resources it needs to produce smoother thoughts, if that makes any sense. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I believe it. | |
| I believe in it, too. | ||
| Shroom Tech Sport is another fantastic supplement. | ||
| It's an endurance supplement. | ||
| It's all based on the cordyceps mushroom. | ||
| Again, if you go to onnit.com, all of this shit is explained. | ||
| Ad nauseam, you dirty bitches. | ||
| Alright, that's it. | ||
| This weekend, this Friday night, Brian motherfucking red band... | ||
| Duncan, motherfucking Trussell, and I will be at the Moody Theater in Austin, Texas. | ||
| Holla at your boy. | ||
| I don't think there's many tickets left. | ||
| It's almost sold out. | ||
| But we're fitting to get down Texas style. | ||
| Right, B? Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| Let's cue the music, man. | ||
| Fucking Andy Bravo's here, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Joe Rogan Podcast. | |
| Check it out. | ||
| The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
| Showing my name. | ||
| Joe Rogan Podcast my name. | ||
| All day. | ||
| All day. | ||
| What did you do at that time? | ||
| That was like a weird echoey sort of a... | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are you doing? | |
| The thing that plugs into the board so the computer can play through the soundboard is burnt out. | ||
| Why are you all echoey, son? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm echoey? | |
| Echoey as fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| You don't hear that? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit. | |
| You sounded like a robot. | ||
| You were like an old school Peter Frampton song. | ||
| It's gone now. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Peter Frampton, was he the first guy to ever use that voice thing? | ||
| You know, they have a tube in their mouth and they sing through it. | ||
| I don't know if he was the first guy. | ||
| Scorpions did that too. | ||
| Um... | ||
| When was Frampton, wasn't he before the Scorpions? | ||
| When was the Scorpions? | ||
| It's like a harmonica thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I really don't even know what the fuck it is to tell you the truth. | |
| You're a musician and you don't know what that thing is? | ||
| That shit never sounded good to me. | ||
| Fuck you with that shit. | ||
| You might as well bring out a kazoo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck are you doing with your mouth? | |
| You know what? | ||
| Maybe the songs that I heard of him sucked anyways, even without the kazoo, because I don't like most songs, so I really don't blame the kazoo. | ||
| I don't like most harmonica, but when a dude can really rock a harmonica, it's pretty bad. | ||
| We have Les Shroud, you know Survivor Man? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Plays the shit out of a harmonica. | ||
| That dude plays the shit out of a harmonica. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I bet he does that shit all day when he's in the woods. | |
| Yeah, you know what I mean? | ||
| You gotta practice, man. | ||
| You ain't got no berries to eat. | ||
| There's no Facebook. | ||
| He's a badass harmonica player, man. | ||
| I was really impressed. | ||
| He could be the best. | ||
| He's legit. | ||
| But if you're normal harmonica songs, get the fuck out of here, bitch. | ||
| You're not making enough noises. | ||
| It's gotta be on top of some deep-ass awesome music. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| By itself, I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, it's gotta be like a compliment to some dope southern guitar music. | ||
| Then you can see a little harmonica moving in. | ||
| Deliverance. | ||
| Dueling banjos. | ||
| Little banjos. | ||
| Little banjos ain't bad, man. | ||
| There's this new band that I just found out about called... | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Ghost something? | ||
| Roadkill? | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Roadkill Ghost Choir, I think is the name of it. | ||
| Yeah, let me find out because I feel like a douchebag. | ||
| What message boards have you been hanging out at? | ||
| Shut up, son. | ||
| My own. | ||
| My own, goddammit. | ||
| Dude, I'm telling you, it's a fucking badass band. | ||
| Roadkill Ghost Choir. | ||
| Listen, pull this up. | ||
| Can we play music? | ||
| Pull up. | ||
| You're not sure? | ||
| It's freaking out. | ||
| It's just not going to sound as good as it normally would. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| There's a song called Beggar's Guild and it's got like a little banjo thing to it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's... | |
| Dude, it's a dope fucking song. | ||
| I've played this song like a hundred times. | ||
| I don't know if you're going to be into it. | ||
| I'm curious. | ||
| That's why I want to play it for you. | ||
| Roadhouse. | ||
| Roadkill Ghost Choir. | ||
| Oh, do you not want to be put on the spot? | ||
| Let's hear it. | ||
| I'm curious now. | ||
| He and I. I love Eddie Bravo to death. | ||
| He is my brother. | ||
| I don't like most music. | ||
| We have totally different tastes in music. | ||
| I don't like most music. | ||
| I have totally different tastes in everybody. | ||
| With everybody. | ||
| I don't like very much music. | ||
| You know, when I was a kid, I couldn't accept that shit. | ||
| I didn't like when people didn't like shit that I liked. | ||
| You gotta understand, dude. | ||
| I DJ'd at a strip club for 10 years. | ||
| Beggars Guild. | ||
| That shit, I got music eight hours a day smashed into my face nonstop. | ||
| There was no breaks. | ||
| There's no break. | ||
| You gotta pay for the next lap dance, motherfucker. | ||
| I bet you got really bored with Whitesnake after a while. | ||
| How many girls came out to... | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was before the strip club. | |
| That was 87, man. | ||
| I didn't start DJing until like 93. But that song hung around in strip clubs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A little bit. | |
| By that time, there's only like one metal chick per strip club and she'd play some Whitesnake, but... | ||
| Most of the girls were playing what was modern, what was hip. | ||
| They were playing like Stone Temple Pilots or Nine Inch Nails or Madonna, Marilyn Manson. | ||
| I got in a car accident and I got in a car accident with this girl that I was dating and she was like super melodramatic, man. | ||
| She was hilarious. | ||
| But when this old dude ran a light and hit us and I had to take my shit out of my car because I couldn't drive my car and in my car I had a Whitesnake cassette. | ||
| And she picked it up and she goes, you have to throw this out. | ||
| She made me throw out a white snake. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| This is them. | ||
| Listen to this band, man. | ||
| That was funny. | ||
| Tell me if you like these people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I feel sick. | |
| Never cross my mind that my baby lied, and all that he and the beggars get. | ||
| So I sleep all day, and I dream all night. | ||
| With a bottle in my hand, I take the devil's sack. | ||
| You're not getting the full effect of the bass in this. | ||
| Two things. | ||
| One, it's the live performance. | ||
| I like it, though. | ||
| I like this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I do like this. | |
| This guy's got a fucking hypnotic voice, man. | ||
| I'm not doing this song justice by letting anybody listen to it like this. | ||
| You gotta listen to their studio version of it. | ||
| It's fucking great, man. | ||
| What a song, man. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| I can tell it's good. | ||
| Yeah, I'm a fan of dudes who play... | ||
| I love to hear the guitar. | ||
| I love to hear the drums. | ||
| I love to hear shit. | ||
| You're into cool electronic type music. | ||
| I'm into everything. | ||
| I'm into everything that's good. | ||
| If you listen to my music, it's a little of everything. | ||
| There's not... | ||
| There's a little metal, there's a little EDM, there's a little dubstep, whatever. | ||
| You know, you would never listen to a Led Zeppelin album. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Led Zeppelin has about five songs that I really like, but overall, overall, you know, like Stairway to Heaven is a great song, alright? | ||
| That's a great song. | ||
| A Ramble On? | ||
| Fucking great song. | ||
| There's a couple Led Zeppelin songs, but most of them, like Misty Mountain High and Rock and Roll, whatever. | ||
| Most of it was on the boogie tip. | ||
| I wasn't on the boogie tip. | ||
| The boogie tip? | ||
| It's like boogie rock with a lot of blues and shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| And I was into Kiss, and Kiss was more like anthems and more... | ||
| God gave rock and roll shit. | ||
| Yeah, I was on that side. | ||
| I was on the Kiss side. | ||
| I wasn't on the Led Zeppelin side. | ||
| But I respected the shit out of him. | ||
| But I just was a Kiss fucking freak, dude. | ||
| I was so poor, really. | ||
| I didn't have enough... | ||
| A money to be into more than one band at a time. | ||
| So I chose KISS and I dove in. | ||
| And by the time I got into KISS, they already had like eight albums and shit. | ||
| I got a dollar a week. | ||
| I'm like, that's a lot of fucking dollars I gotta save to buy these Kiss albums. | ||
| It was $6.99 at the point. | ||
| Isn't it crazy that at one point in time you used to have to pay to get some music? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| That was the only way you could do it. | ||
| I mean, boy, did the fucking rug come out of that business. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| I had a lot of albums to catch up. | ||
| So I didn't allow myself to get into other bands, to tell you the truth, for a while. | ||
| while from the age of 8 to 13 it was just kiss i only could afford one band so i have to pretend like i only liked one band my brother could own everybody all my friends could only afford one band so my brother was into van halen uh you know the eric across the street was into rush uh then this guy was into the police you know and then we just borrowed each other's shit but the band that you were in charge of that was your baby You know what I mean? | ||
| That's so ridiculous. | ||
| It's crazy! | ||
| It's the stupidest shit ever! | ||
| What the fuck is wrong with children? | ||
| Oh, and then when Kiss got sold out and they became bubble gummish, they basically became MC Hammer of rock and roll. | ||
| Well, when did that happen? | ||
| That happened, it started happening in 78. They just got too big, too commercial. | ||
| They did a movie on Channel 4, an NBC movie called Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park. | ||
| I remember that. | ||
| It was out of control. | ||
| It was out of control. | ||
| They were like superheroes, dude. | ||
| Dude, I was severely depressed because when it came on, there was a blackout where I lived. | ||
| The fucking power was out. | ||
| While KISS meets the Phantom was on TV and I was so depressed. | ||
| I couldn't believe it. | ||
| Like, how the fuck could this happen now? | ||
| That movie is what got me into KISS because before that movie, the general consensus among kids at school was that KISS, like, because their older brothers were telling them is KISS is for homos, you know what I mean? | ||
| So I remember being at school the night it was supposed to be on, being at school, and talking to my friends saying, are you going to watch that Kiss movie? | ||
| They're like, no way! | ||
| Kiss is for fags! | ||
| Eight-year-olds were saying that. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| Yeah, it was crazy. | ||
| And I was pretending like I didn't like Kiss either, because my stepdad was into classic rock, and I would... | ||
| I would say like Ted Nugent or something. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I'm into that. | ||
| I wasn't into Kiss. | ||
| But we were all excited to see that Kiss movie. | ||
| Kids didn't have respect. | ||
| That was 1978. They didn't have respect for Kiss. | ||
| That's how they were going down. | ||
| They were just too commercialized. | ||
| That was Kiss ice cream, Kiss bubble gum, Kiss pencils. | ||
| They were going down. | ||
| Nobody had any respect for them at that point. | ||
| They were falling off. | ||
| When I was in high school, the dudes that I hung around with, everybody listened to The Doors. | ||
| Yeah, that was respectable. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Led Zeppelin. | |
| Respectable. | ||
| You couldn't admit Kiss. | ||
| By the age of eight, when I was at it, you couldn't admit Kiss. | ||
| But when that movie came on that night, me and my brother was four years older. | ||
| We were so excited to see this band that we were already dissing in. | ||
| We didn't even see them. | ||
| But that movie blew me away, rock and roll all night. | ||
| When they played that shit on the movie, as an eight-year-old kid, my head exploded. | ||
| All I wanted was rock and roll all night. | ||
| I was like Cartman dragging his mom to the fucking record. | ||
| I dragged my aunt. | ||
| I'm like, rock and roll all night. | ||
| That's the one I want. | ||
| We looked for it. | ||
| It was on Kiss Alive. | ||
| It was a live record. | ||
| I didn't know what a live record was. | ||
| So I just said, this is the one. | ||
| It says rock and roll all night. | ||
| This is the one. | ||
| And my aunt goes, I think this is at a concert. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What are you talking about? | ||
| It's a record. | ||
| It's not a concert. | ||
| Buy the record. | ||
| Got the record. | ||
| Played it, put the needle down, and when you hear the audience coming, I'm like, what the fuck is this? | ||
| It's a concert! | ||
| I was like, I didn't even have a... | ||
| I didn't know what a live record was. | ||
| I didn't understand. | ||
| Yeah, I got Kiss Alive 2 and Kiss Alive 3. I got Kiss Alive 1. That was my first album, my first Kiss record, and that crushed me. | ||
| That album destroyed Strutter, Deuce. | ||
| Was it three Kiss Alives? | ||
| Yeah, but by Kiss Alive 3, that was like already... | ||
| In the 90s, dude, when everything was dead. | ||
| I picked up with those eras of Kiss before me that I didn't get into. | ||
| I never got into the really early, early, early shit. | ||
| I came in around Detroit Rock City. | ||
| I came in when they were on the cover of Double Platinum. | ||
| Destroyer. | ||
| That was the first album after their live album. | ||
| The first three albums were like failures. | ||
| And they weren't selling, man. | ||
| And then they just said, dude, let's just try a live record because live, we're killing it. | ||
| Everyone loves us live, but we can't sell any records. | ||
| Let's do a live record. | ||
| And they said, okay, let's try it. | ||
| They did it, and that's the one that blew them up. | ||
| Kiss Alive blew them the fuck up. | ||
| So Destroyer was their first studio album after this live record that blew them up. | ||
| What bands out there get blown up from their live record? | ||
| None of them. | ||
| They were the only ones. | ||
| Their live shows were so fun, though. | ||
| And their live shows were like... | ||
| Paul Stanley. | ||
| You can make fun of him. | ||
| There's dudes who have taken all of his in-between songs. | ||
| The Sinner of Kiss. | ||
| The Starchild Sinner of Kiss. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Paul Stanley. | |
| People have taken all of his in-between stuff and brought it to one CD. I forget the guys who did it, but they sent it to me and it's fucking hilarious. | ||
| It's brilliant. | ||
| They took all his best rants. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, I know when you're thirsty! | |
| Oh, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You want some cold gin? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| But he's a showman like a motherfucker. | ||
| I mean, the place is going crazy. | ||
| He had stories ready to go. | ||
| He had the Love Gun story. | ||
| Every story had the cold gin story. | ||
| Every concert, like there's three songs maybe, two or three, where he's got a story and he's talking about it. | ||
| They're so professional. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's such a... | ||
| Big show. | ||
| When I went to see them, it was back when Gene Simmons was still spitting fire. | ||
| He's never stopped spitting fire. | ||
| He still doesn't? | ||
| Dude, are you kidding? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Even when the makeup came off, he still spit fire. | ||
| He'll never stop doing that. | ||
| Did his hair ever catch on fire like that? | ||
| Yes, his hair caught on fire early in their career. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| And then Ace got electrocuted by the stair railing once, too. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| That's a crazy-ass show, man. | ||
| Yeah, so that movie, you know, from that movie on, I was a Kiss fanatic. | ||
| But I was getting into them right when they were going down and had no respect. | ||
| But that's when I got into them, is when they lost all respect from, like, the mainstream media when it came to rock, you know. | ||
| So I had a fight with my friends. | ||
| Everyone's made fun of me that I liked Kiss fans. | ||
| There was a bunch of music that I had to go back and sort of review because I dismissed it because it was all serious stoners that were into it. | ||
| The Doors is one of them. | ||
| I never was really a Doors person when I was in high school because all the people that were into The Doors were all fucking serious burnouts, man. | ||
| This was after... | ||
| I was in high school in 1981. When did he die? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Did he die in the 70s? | ||
| I never was a Doors fan. | ||
| The girls who are still into, like, Morrison, like, that late, it's like they were, like, fucking... | ||
| They always had jean jackets on. | ||
| There's always cigarettes in their pockets. | ||
| They always had dirty hair. | ||
| And they were just burnouts. | ||
| And that's... | ||
| So that's what I associated with the Doors. | ||
| Those are the people that always had the Doors shirts. | ||
| And I had to, like, become a man one day and become my own man and listen and go, God damn, the Doors had some good fucking songs. | ||
| And then I got into them afterwards. | ||
| So it was like... | ||
| The people that were so into them sort of negatively affected my opinion of them, unfortunately. | ||
| Yeah, you can never admit that you like certain bands, though. | ||
| There were certain bands that if you brought up that you were into them, man, people would get angry at you. | ||
| Yeah, I had to pretend. | ||
| It got so bad, I had to pretend for a while that I didn't like Kiss. | ||
| I'm like, I don't like Kiss anymore, goddammit! | ||
| I hate them! | ||
| I was in high school. | ||
| I was on a bus, and I told this dude that I was going to go see Cheap Trick. | ||
| I was like, Cheap Trick's coming to town. | ||
| We'll go see Cheap Trick. | ||
| And this guy turned around and looked at me and said, man, Cheap Trip fucking sucks. | ||
| And I remember like, wow, this guy totally does not respect my taste in music. | ||
| He just shot it down. | ||
| I couldn't even say anything about it. | ||
| I was like, well, you know, to you. | ||
| Like, what do you say when someone just shits on you? | ||
| And then even while you're there, that can influence your enjoyment of going to see it, you know? | ||
| Because even though you're enjoying it, you're like, goddammit, why does this band make me feel like a loser for liking them? | ||
| The thing about Kiss, though, that they've, No one has ever done. | ||
| No one has ever done, because they went to superstardom, then they went to MC Hammer status, Vanilla Ice status, and then they came back and did it all over again with the same members. | ||
| They got Ace and Peter back, who ended up getting kicked out for being drunks and cokeheads in the late 70s. | ||
| In the height of it, they kicked out the drummer, they kicked out the guitar player, got him replaced. | ||
| But when they did the reunion tour, 15 years later, 20 years later, whatever the fuck it was, they got Ace and Peter back, and then they blew up again! | ||
| And they took their makeup off, and then they put it back on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes, yes. | |
| That's the most interesting thing. | ||
| Yes, I left that part out. | ||
| Yeah, during the reunion, and when they died, they decided to take off their makeup for about 10 years. | ||
| And they went on, and they were lost. | ||
| They didn't know how to dress, dude. | ||
| They just looked at the other bands and said, you know what, Poison is... | ||
| I guess the tranny look is in. | ||
| Let's look like trannies. | ||
| I think that's what's in. | ||
| When we were in high school, they always had bandanas on and shit when they were going to clubs and stuff. | ||
| They had to hide their identity and they'd get these photos of them trying to put a palm up to the press so they couldn't get photographed. | ||
| That was the weirdest sort of celebrity ever. | ||
| Because these guys were superstars, but nobody knew what they looked like. | ||
| I don't know if everybody today can wrap their head around how fucking crazy that shit was. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| In the late 70s. | ||
| Who's done that? | ||
| No one else has done that. | ||
| In music, no one else has done the... | ||
| No one knows what you look like. | ||
| We gotta get pictures of you on masks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was like CIA secret shit right there, dude! | |
| They pulled that off from 1973 to 1983. For 10 years they had makeup. | ||
| You could only do that back then. | ||
| You could never get away with that shit today. | ||
| There's too many people with cameras. | ||
| Too many people who put that shit on YouTube. | ||
| They just know where Paul Stanley lives. | ||
| Just wait. | ||
| Wait in front of his house. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Did they put a camera in front of his face? | ||
| There he is. | ||
| And then when they did it again, when they blew up again, Ace and Peter got kicked out again for the same shit! | ||
| Did they really? | ||
| Yeah, they got kicked out again. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| They just started going off. | ||
| They're just drunks, dude. | ||
| They're drunks. | ||
| I think Peter was just too old and he couldn't even play anymore. | ||
| And they're like, damn. | ||
| Because Paul Stanley is in marathon shape. | ||
| He's always been a workout health freak. | ||
| His body is like an... | ||
| Very athletic, and he's like 60-something now, you know, 65. Wow. | ||
| And Gene Simmons is not in the best shape, but live, he loves being on stage so much that every night Gene Simmons gives it 110%. | ||
| Every night he's on fire, dude. | ||
| They won't stop touring, man. | ||
| They're 68 years old. | ||
| How much do they love being on stage? | ||
| Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons, they stay together. | ||
| They never broke up. | ||
| They never quit. | ||
| They went through a lot of guitar players and drummers. | ||
| A lot of them. | ||
| But it was always Peter or Paul and Gene sticking together with or without makeup. | ||
| They never stopped. | ||
| They never took a break. | ||
| It's an interesting story. | ||
| I still don't think they feel like they get their just rewards. | ||
| No, because every interview, you hear the bitterness. | ||
| Every interview, they're dogging on the media. | ||
| They're dogging on journalists. | ||
| And they're reminding people, you can't ignore the millions of fans. | ||
| Just listen to the fans. | ||
| Forget about... | ||
| They hate journalists because, you know, they blew up without any radio airplay. | ||
| You couldn't even play them on the fucking radio. | ||
| That's how taboo they were. | ||
| That's such a weird thing. | ||
| They did it without radio airplay. | ||
| But why wouldn't the radio recognize how many people were coming to see their concerts and buying their albums and just play their shit? | ||
| It doesn't make any sense. | ||
| They're like, we're not going to allow these goofy clowns to just... | ||
| You can't look like a clown and make rock and roll music. | ||
| They were just not allowing them. | ||
| That's so weird. | ||
| They weren't allowing it. | ||
| That must have been an incredibly tough time to be an artist. | ||
| To have to deal only with record companies and only with radio stations. | ||
| That's just a couple of decades ago. | ||
| What a weird world we live in today where people get fame through electronic means. | ||
| How many people that DJ Tiesto, is that his name? | ||
| How many people have heard his shit because it's been online? | ||
| Or Deadmau5 or any of these people? | ||
| Those guys could become famous just by virtue of their product and it's spreading virally. | ||
| What a shit time it must have been when that couldn't happen. | ||
| When you had to deal with all these assholes that wouldn't play you on the radio. | ||
| What do you have to do? | ||
| How do you get played on the radio? | ||
| What do you have to do? | ||
| Would anybody play them? | ||
| It was very rare that you heard a Kiss song on the radio when I was in high school. | ||
| They played I Was Made For Loving You a little bit. | ||
| They did play Beth a little bit. | ||
| That was the disco era. | ||
| They went a little disco. | ||
| Yeah, they said, fuck it. | ||
| They thought disco's the new thing and it's going to be the future. | ||
| So they made a decision. | ||
| Paul and Gene are businessmen. | ||
| They go with the trends. | ||
| And sometimes it's obvious that we... | ||
| Oh, now you're going to go really heavy on this album? | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because everyone dogged you that you went to commercial and disco? | ||
| Oh, let's see... | ||
| The career's in the toilet. | ||
| They gotta come back heavy. | ||
| That's what they did in Creatures of the Night. | ||
| Their career is just fucking insane. | ||
| It's a crazy life to be a musician, man. | ||
| To make noises that people like to listen to. | ||
| That's what you do. | ||
| You put together words and you make noise with your mouth and with some musical instruments. | ||
| You're a professional noise maker. | ||
| What a crazy thing that is. | ||
| The beauty of music is so misunderstood. | ||
| It's so hard for us to wrap our heads around what the fuck is really happening when you're listening to a song. | ||
| Something happens to you. | ||
| A good song does fire you up and make you feel good. | ||
| It gives you a charge. | ||
| There's certain times when you're in your car and it's just the right song for the right moment and you're like, God damn, this feels good. | ||
| And that's generally the way I feel that. | ||
| What you're describing is when I'm driving to go teach class. | ||
| When I'm driving to teach class, I just took my glaucoma medication. | ||
| And then I find just the best song that I like, a song that I could put on repeat, and I crank it really loud, and I'm thinking about training jujitsu. | ||
| I'm like, I'm driving, and I'm gonna go train some jujitsu, and all my boys that I love are gonna be right there, and we're all gonna work together. | ||
| And when I get in that zone, and I'm listening to an amazing song, It really is like a meditative state, like a waking meditative state where you feel connected to the universe, man. | ||
| It's hard to explain. | ||
| Especially while under the influence of glaucoma medication. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That and the best song. | ||
| If you got crazy and ate some. | ||
| Yeah, and you got some love that you're going to, you're driving to, and you got people just driving from San Diego, people driving from Costa Mesa just to train. | ||
| That's when I think about that and how amazing that is, man, and how Much love I'm gonna have at my gym, man. | ||
| When I'm there, it's amazing, man. | ||
| I love being there every night. | ||
| Songs have this weird effect on people, man. | ||
| You know, I wonder if it can be measured, like the good feeling that you get when you hear a badass fucking song. | ||
| Like, for me, it's like, I know this song gets worn out for a lot of people, but for me, The first few chords of Sweet Home Alabama, I always go, fuck yeah. | ||
| I love that goddamn song. | ||
| I don't give a fuck if they overplay that stupid song. | ||
| You can overplay that shit forever. | ||
| That still is one of my all-time favorite songs. | ||
| If I'm in the car and it's a nice day and that song comes on, I'm like, oh shit. | ||
| I'll turn that shit up right when he says to. | ||
| Turner Jet. | ||
| It's just that feeling though, I wonder if it could be measured. | ||
| I wonder if you could put like electrodes on your head and find out what's firing up when you really love to hear a good song. | ||
| They should do that. | ||
| They should get people high and make them listen to awesome music. | ||
| And just find out what happens. | ||
| And then in between that awesome music, Throw in some bullshit, some really whack-ass, terrible fucking music. | ||
| Some, like, really bad Christian rock or something. | ||
| Something just terrible. | ||
| Did you read that? | ||
| There was something on Twitter about some research done on freestyle rappers, and they studied their brain. | ||
| Oh, yeah, I did. | ||
| But I saw it, but I didn't watch it or read it. | ||
| So I saw it, like, as a headline, but I didn't pass on. | ||
| There's a study, and they studied freestyle rappers, and... | ||
| They put some electrodes on their brain. | ||
| I'm not sure how it really worked, but as they were... | ||
| They had them freestyle some stuff, and then I think they had them say some lyrics that they knew before and see the difference in how the brain works when you're freestyling and how the brain works when you're just repeating stuff. | ||
| Something like that, I could be wrong, but the overall... | ||
| Were you just going to puke right there? | ||
| The overall result of that was that Freestyle rappers are quicker thinkers. | ||
| I mean, obviously, like the obvious stuff. | ||
| Their brain is working faster than normal people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, the idea that you have to be creative. | ||
| You have to put yourself into that mode. | ||
| What percentage of freestyle rappers you think smoke weed? | ||
| I think it's 190. Right? | ||
| That's what I'm talking about. | ||
| They didn't talk about the weed connection. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You're talking about freestyle rappers. | ||
| They're probably smoking weed all day, stuffing their brain with it. | ||
| Well, when we had Immortal Technique on, his dude, Swayve. | ||
| Remember that dude, Brian? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That guy was a bad motherfucker in battle rap. | ||
| Like, there's some dudes who have that shit down to an art form. | ||
| And you watch, like... | ||
| One guy will come at them with some, like, really dumb shit, and then they break them down with some just ruthless shit. | ||
| But those guys could freestyle their ass off, and they smoked the fucking shit out of some weed. | ||
| It'd be cool if that shit was huge on NBC. Joe, when you said 190%, were you counting ghost faces also? | ||
| Is that how you got to that number? | ||
| Yeah, that's exactly what it is. | ||
| And, you know, multiple personalities, too. | ||
| I threw that in. | ||
| I was just exaggerating, Brian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's all it is. | |
| Hey, Joe... | ||
| Kevin, on Perera's show today, somebody made a hilarious video game. | ||
| This is a real video game based on an episode of the podcast we did with Bobcat, and based on the dolphin sensation and stuff like that. | ||
| You're going to freak out, and if you want to be an investor, me and Kevin are going to invest in this game and try to actually have this game be a huge game. | ||
| What the hell is it? | ||
| You're going to laugh your ass off. | ||
| It's Echo the Reluctant Dolphin. | ||
| Echo the Reluctant Dolphin, and it's a game. | ||
| Yeah, check this out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Here we go. | |
| Echo the Reluctant Dolphin? | ||
| . | ||
| Watch it on the screen here. | ||
| It's a dolphin with a huge boner. | ||
| And on the bottom right you can see it says frothy loads. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And you go around shooting piss on everyone and fucking people in the ass. | |
| What? | ||
| And then you also have a cum meter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
| There's this load. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And then here's the logo for our podcast, Pointless, with Kevin Pereira. | |
| And those are Jesuses. | ||
| So you're this dolphin shooting cum and piss on people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And then Jesus comes out and tries to fuck you up. | |
| What?! | ||
| And then he's shooting come at you, and you're fucking more- There's Kevin Pereira getting fucked in the ass. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Please stop this before we go to jail. | ||
| That dolphin's in prison. | ||
| Look, she's walking funny because she just got fucked. | ||
| I just had deja vu that that dolphin was in prison. | ||
| And then Jesus is all fucked up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| There's something wrong with my brain, folks. | ||
| Who designed that? | ||
| There's something wrong with my brain. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who designed that? | |
| His name is, uh, hold on. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
His name is, uh, uh, Tim Ingram. | |
| Dude, invest in that shit. | ||
| That's gonna be huge. | ||
| I know. | ||
| That's gonna be huge. | ||
| Yeah, that could be the greatest game of all time. | ||
| I don't think you want to really put your money in that one, Brian. | ||
| I'm gonna be real with you. | ||
| I think that's gonna cause... | ||
| It's like, that's gonna be the final nail in the fucking Jesus people's coffin where they go straight Taliban on people. | ||
| Even draw Jesus anymore. | ||
| We're coming for you bitches. | ||
| It even has a meter that says Frosty Loads. | ||
| Frothy or Frosty? | ||
| Frothy Loads and it also has a gay meter but it's spelled with an H instead of G-A-Y. So hilarious. | ||
| Listen man, you can't be attached to that. | ||
| It's going down and it's going to bring you with it. | ||
| I just want to say, off the record, had I known the content of that video, I wouldn't have allowed it to be played. | ||
| Dolphins can't fuck Jesus in my world. | ||
| I don't allow it. | ||
| He's Android Jesus. | ||
| I don't care where... | ||
| You can call him whenever you want. | ||
| Does he actually fuck Jesus? | ||
| No. | ||
| I think Jesus tries to fuck the dolphin. | ||
| That was too much. | ||
| They were like, you know what? | ||
| They were going to have him fuck Jesus, but they thought, you know what? | ||
| Let's just try to get the video game off the fucking ground, okay? | ||
| We don't need to go there... | ||
| The second version, you know, we'll save it for them. | ||
| In the video, the dolphins fuck people. | ||
| You can't fuck people in videos, man. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| You can't just run around fucking people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look, he's half Terminator Jesus, though, look. | |
| It's so ridiculous. | ||
| I watched the Terminator the other day, and it was Terminator 2, and it was really weird to watch, man. | ||
| It's really weird how the acting style was different back then. | ||
| They weren't as evolved. | ||
| Which one's two? | ||
| Was that the one where the dude has a metal face? | ||
| Is that the Guns N' Roses one? | ||
| Which was the Guns N' Roses one? | ||
| Two? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Two is when he returned. | ||
| And he was nice. | ||
| And she was in a mental institution and shit doing chin-ups. | ||
| Going, this motherfucker's coming back. | ||
| I liked Arnold when he was mean. | ||
| I liked it in the first one. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Oh, you didn't like when he came back nice? | ||
| I'm not into that. | ||
| Yeah, that wasn't as good. | ||
| I liked the mean one. | ||
| The mean one was way scarier. | ||
| Like, why would they have the same model come back nice? | ||
| What, they can't make a different model? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is so stupid. | ||
| It's the same model. | ||
| The first model was a motherfucker. | ||
| Dude, I've finally seen a good movie. | ||
| Argo, dude. | ||
| I heard Argo's very good. | ||
| Argo's fucking good. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| I thought... | ||
| I was reluctant to see it because I thought... | ||
| It was going to be like Contagion where it shows that our government is so good and with the viruses and the vaccines. | ||
| It's like Contagion was a joke. | ||
| It was almost like produced by the CIA almost or FEMA or something. | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| But, and I thought they were going to do the same thing with Argo, make the Iranians look like just fucking these evil terrorists. | ||
| They want to make bombs and shit like that. | ||
| But they told the truth. | ||
| They did in the beginning. | ||
| In the beginning, it makes the United States look at fault for a lot of the shit that's going on. | ||
| And it's the truth. | ||
| And the movie itself is pretty amazing, man. | ||
| I was into it. | ||
| Argo. | ||
| That's a strong endorsement by young Eddie Bravo. | ||
| I usually hate movies, but that one I stayed for the whole time. | ||
| You hate movies that I love. | ||
| Like which ones? | ||
| Cabin in the Woods. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
| If you're going to try to be funny or you're not going to be serious, it better be like real funny, like funny, funny, not like goofy. | ||
| That shit was awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You liked it. | |
| It was beautiful. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| That's like a 50-50 thing. | ||
| Like in my tweets, people say I'm fucking crazy and then some people agree. | ||
| Well, to me, it was just exciting fun. | ||
| It was just ridiculous, silly fun. | ||
| I believe these fucking people have a remote control and they can change the house and make monsters. | ||
| Sigourney Weaver at the end. | ||
| I thought it was hilarious. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I enjoyed the shit out of it. | ||
| It was campy to me. | ||
| It was intentionally campy. | ||
| I thought it was really good. | ||
| I enjoyed it. | ||
| But yeah, it's hard to fucking make a good movie, dude, I think. | ||
| I think you've got too many people involved. | ||
| I think when you got some bad motherfucker like James Cameron that can just totally take the reins, that's how you get, like, an avatar. | ||
| You gotta have some, like, real strong personality behind it. | ||
| That's why, like, it's always important, like, Francis Ford Coppola's this or that, because I think there's so many people involved in poking and prodding and wanting this and putting in that. | ||
| I think making a movie must be just a fucking tremendous nightmare. | ||
| And working with all those people and hoping they work together. | ||
| I have a friend who's a movie director. | ||
| Have you ever met Patty? | ||
| Patty Jenkins? | ||
| Brian Callen's ex-girlfriend? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| She's a great, great person. | ||
| Fucking really interesting chick. | ||
| Really smart chick. | ||
| And she's a director. | ||
| So she tells me some fucking stories, man. | ||
| The stories she tells you about having to work with crazy actors. | ||
| People are just nuts. | ||
| People you never even heard of. | ||
| It's fucking out of their mind. | ||
| They just hold up production and go crazy and claim fake illnesses and faint and shit. | ||
| Do weird shit to get attention. | ||
| Like, people are nuts. | ||
| So you gotta bring all these motherfuckers together and try to put some movie out of it. | ||
| It's a ridiculously hard proposition. | ||
| You know, that's why I've always looked at bands. | ||
| You know, I've always looked at bands like going, that's gotta be a fucking hard thing. | ||
| For all these guys to get along. | ||
| Oh man. | ||
| You know? | ||
| You see the Guns... | ||
| Just recently I saw Guns N' Roses behind the scenes, behind the music, Rocky Mentri, and I saw the Quiet Riot one. | ||
| You gotta see the Quiet Riot one. | ||
| You gotta see... | ||
| It's the VH1 behind the scenes and the Guns N' Roses one. | ||
| Those guys... | ||
| The whole documentary was about how much partying they were doing and how much drinking and it was driving them insane and how much coke they were doing. | ||
| And drinking two-fifths of Jack every goddamn night. | ||
| Like Duff from Guns N' Roses is so fucked up. | ||
| He couldn't even talk anymore. | ||
| They're super rich, they're huge, and they're just drinking and doing so much coke, they're out of their fucking minds. | ||
| It's almost like they feel... | ||
| It's almost like you understand Axl. | ||
| Axl's like the dick. | ||
| But when you watch the rockumentary, he's hanging out with these drunk dudes all the time. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's hard to tell who's really at fault. | ||
| Axl's the control, hungry, tyrant. | ||
| He wanted control of everything. | ||
| And then everyone else is super drunk. | ||
| It's like you understand a little bit, right? | ||
| It has to be so hard to keep all those egos in check. | ||
| When they explode and get huge, it's got to be so hard. | ||
| And especially for certain dudes in the background, like drummers and shit, who are just not getting that much attention. | ||
| Gotta get crazy to get attention. | ||
| Tommy Lee was one of the few guys that got attention. | ||
| Yeah, to be a drummer and to have people know who you are and your first and last name, that's so rare. | ||
| Travis Barker. | ||
| Tommy Lee. | ||
| Tommy Lee and that's it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's it. | |
| That's it. | ||
| Is that really it? | ||
| That can't be. | ||
| Peter Criss. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Peter Criss. | |
| But like household names. | ||
| Tommy Lee is a household name. | ||
| So is Travis Barker. | ||
| Yeah, household names. | ||
| Everybody knows who he is. | ||
| Very few drummers. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, that's a weird spot, man. | ||
| The celebrity drummer. | ||
| That's a rare spot. | ||
| Those might be the baddest motherfuckers ever. | ||
| They shine through that position. | ||
| Tommy Lee is a bad motherfucker. | ||
| Everybody just had to see his dick and go, oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah, shut the fuck up. | ||
| What are you going to say? | ||
| The guy's a rock star and he has a giant dick. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| You just got to accept that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Thank God he's not really good at jiu-jitsu. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit. | |
| Like Ricky Rocket. | ||
| Can you imagine if he was also a real good fighter too? | ||
| Shit. | ||
| Ricky Rocket's a fucking black belt. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Legit black belt in jiu-jitsu. | ||
| Who would have ever thought that? | ||
| Ricky Rocket is the drummer of Poison. | ||
| He's pretty famous. | ||
| He's another famous one. | ||
| We missed him. | ||
| He's fucked up there. | ||
| He's a household name. | ||
| If Ricky Rocket went on a killing spree, that shit would be front page news. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| He's a good dude. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| He seems like a nice guy. | ||
| I think that someone who gets really good at jiu-jitsu, you can't get that far without letting go of your ego. | ||
| He was super cool, man. | ||
| Very cool guy. | ||
| Super cool, yeah. | ||
| Super cool guy. | ||
| I trained with him a lot, hung out with him a lot. | ||
| We all went to the same school. | ||
| He was really, really super cool. | ||
| It was a trip to see so much... | ||
| He's in a band that's known to look like... | ||
| Like, they looked like girls. | ||
| They had lots of makeup. | ||
| They did, but, you know, for what they were doing, they looked great. | ||
| That was their shit. | ||
| That was what they were selling. | ||
| And he was a badass in jiu-jitsu. | ||
| It's a good thing to have. | ||
| And he does that whole Cas Magna system, too, which is the Inasana system, which is the Filipino system. | ||
| He's really good at that. | ||
| He's really into weapons. | ||
| Oh, that's like Kali and all that stuff. | ||
| Yeah, he's really good at that. | ||
| Yeah, he loves stick fighting, knife fighting, all that shit. | ||
| That shit's ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah, you don't fuck with the drummer from Poison. | ||
| No matter how much makeup he's wearing. | ||
| Because they're back on tour. | ||
| He's going to be wearing all that makeup. | ||
| Just don't call him a homo. | ||
| Telling you. | ||
| Why did you even put that out there? | ||
| Because then someone's going to go, fuck Eddie Bravo! | ||
|
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Fuck Ricky Rocket! | |
| There's certain dudes that you meet, and they're the funniest conversations I ever have with clueless folks, are the people that tell me that if they fought MMA, they would never lose. | ||
| Because it's just their mentality. | ||
| Because of my mentality. | ||
| But how many times have you talked to that guy? | ||
| That guy, there's been, there's many, many of those guys out there, and you drift into them like icebergs, like you'd be backstage at the UFC, and you don't even realize you're talking to a crazy person until they say something like that. | ||
| Like, you know, I mean, these guys are all tough and everything, but I tell you, my mentality, I can't lose. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Yeah, you know what, man? | ||
| Guys like me don't get in there. | ||
| That's the difference. | ||
| Guys like me, with my mentality, you know, they get in there, they never stop. | ||
| The referee couldn't pull me off. | ||
| I usually get the guys that say that, you know, they don't do MMA, they don't train, but if anything went down, they would kick them in the knee. | ||
| I'm like, really? | ||
| How often are you practicing this kick? | ||
| How many days a week? | ||
| How long? | ||
| I mean, if he was actually three days a week, was sitting in front of a bag and just kicking to the knee 45 minutes a day, three days a week, I might believe he's on to something. | ||
| Like, damn, maybe he's got this crazy kick to the knee. | ||
| If you didn't know how to fight and you ran into some Muay Thai guy for whatever reason, he just decided to only kick your legs out from India and just kick your legs until you're done. | ||
| That could be possible. | ||
| That's possible. | ||
| A guy who's really good at that could do that. | ||
| But the knee kick, man? | ||
| Come on, son. | ||
| Come on, son. | ||
| And they believe it. | ||
| You're going to wind up with that shit. | ||
| I'm going to see that coming. | ||
| You know how weak the knee is, bro? | ||
| It takes 10 pounds of pressure. | ||
| They always have these statistics. | ||
| And it just snaps, bro. | ||
| Certain statistics, that's one of them. | ||
| The other one is you only use 10% of your brain, bro. | ||
| Bro, you're only using, you know, they've only documented that people only use 10% of their brain. | ||
| It takes eight pounds of pressure to snap a knee, bro. | ||
| I can do that. | ||
| I'm really good at sidekicks. | ||
| You make the real good pseudo-intelligent stoner voice. | ||
| It takes eight pounds of pressure. | ||
| It's been documented on the History Channel. | ||
| Eight pounds of pressure for a fucking front snap kick right to the knee. | ||
|
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It's over. | |
| The fight's over. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| I walk around with confidence. | ||
| Joey Diaz talking about that. | ||
| All he needs is a kick in the knee. | ||
| How would he say it? | ||
| Joe Rogan. | ||
| Joe Rogan, let me tell you something. | ||
| Can you fuck with me, dog? | ||
|
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I got one sidekick. | |
| 350 allegedly pounds is coming down your fucking knee. | ||
| Where you going, bitch? | ||
| You're going nowhere. | ||
| Come at me with that fucking karate shit. | ||
| You're a ninjitsu. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Side kicks to the knees. | ||
| Let's grab a slice. | ||
| That's how I'm rolling. | ||
|
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Grab a slice, have a seat, pack a lunch. | |
| That needs to happen. | ||
| A Joey Diaz cartoon with Joe Rogan doing the voice. | ||
| That's gotta happen. | ||
| Why would you have me doing him? | ||
| Mine is a poor substitute for the actual man himself. | ||
| It's just funny because it's close. | ||
| You sound just like him. | ||
| It's like you get into his soul. | ||
| You're saying the shit he would actually say. | ||
| That's what's funny. | ||
| You're doing him. | ||
| You're actually doing him. | ||
| I know Joey probably as much as Joey knows Joey. | ||
| How important is it to have people like that in your life, man? | ||
| If you find yourself a Joey Diaz, you better be nice to that guy. | ||
| Provide you with entertainment constantly. | ||
| Brian Callen, when we went hunting together, dude, I had a comedy show for five days. | ||
| That's what I had. | ||
|
unidentified
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You know? | |
| I took Brian fucking Callen. | ||
| It was like the perfect move. | ||
| I turned like this boring-ass camping trip where it's 10 degrees out. | ||
| Into a constant comedy show where Callan was talking about how he likes to fuck guys. | ||
| This is what I'm doing. | ||
| I'm holding you, okay? | ||
| And as I'm holding you, I'm licking your ear. | ||
| He would just come up with all these crazy things. | ||
| It was one of those jokes where it's the same joke over and over again. | ||
| It's all about fucking guys, holding guys down, fucking guys. | ||
| But it starts off really funny and ridiculous, and then you wonder, how long can this fucking guy keep this up? | ||
| And then five days in, you're still laughing at these same gay jokes. | ||
| It's just him talking about holding guys down and fucking them. | ||
| And it's like he has no shame and no limit to this. | ||
| He can just keep going. | ||
| He just keeps going. | ||
| So it was literally like a five-day comedy show. | ||
| It was the most I've ever laughed while freezing my dick off, sleeping outdoors. | ||
| It was a perfect experience. | ||
| Plus, he's just a fucking awesome guy. | ||
| And Callen's one of those guys that doesn't complain. | ||
| Like, he'll just go do what needs to be done. | ||
| Like, we gotta go hiking and shit. | ||
| He just goes hiking. | ||
| If Joey Diaz went on the trip with you, what would he say? | ||
|
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Joe Rogan, there's a fucking Vaughn's two miles away from my house! | |
| I'll call them in advance, they'll get me antelope! | ||
| You want to take me up to the fucking badlands of Montana? | ||
| Suck my dick, okay? | ||
| A deer never did nothing to me. | ||
| God wanted us to be eating deer that'd be in the fucking store. | ||
| You'll be able to go to the fucking store and buy a fucking beer cheeseburger or whatever. | ||
| These fucking guys with your great coupon on your fucking deer burger. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Get yourself a nice slice. | ||
| It's two points. | ||
| And a regular Coke. | ||
| Don't even fuck with that diet. | ||
| You don't want that type of cancer. | ||
|
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You don't want that type of cancer. | |
| It's not my finger. | ||
| Isn't it crazy that we've gotten so fucking stupid as a society that your product can advertise that you have real sugar and it's a good thing? | ||
| How retarded are we? | ||
| They're putting that on billboards. | ||
| Well, that's because corn syrup... | ||
| Made with real sugar. | ||
| People are finding out how hard it is for your body to process corn syrup. | ||
| Yeah, but sugar is... | ||
| Corn is the motherfucker, man. | ||
| Corn is... | ||
| You ever watched that King Corn documentary? | ||
| I think I have. | ||
|
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I've watched one too. | |
| It's crazy how much money there is in growing corn, man. | ||
| And using corn and all sorts of different food items. | ||
| And there's a lot of good uses for corn. | ||
| First of all, it tastes good. | ||
| Corn on the cob is delicious. | ||
| You know, little corn tortillas. | ||
| Makes for some nice tacos. | ||
| But the reality is, that shit's not good for your body. | ||
| Especially like in corn syrup form. | ||
| And that shit's everywhere! | ||
| It's so bad that they're advertising, look, we're using sugar after all. | ||
| Wasn't sugar, like, wasn't it sugar free as good before? | ||
| Well, you know, you're only supposed to get sugar when it's attached to food. | ||
| You know, the idea of extracting sugar and then taking pure sugar That's not ever supposed to happen. | ||
| It doesn't exist in nature. | ||
| We're just so fucked up, man. | ||
| We have to dabble with everything and extract things and give you concentrated doses. | ||
| That's where cocaine came from. | ||
| If you eat the coca leaves, it's apparently very healthy. | ||
| The people that chew those leaves, those herders, Those high-altitude herders. | ||
| Why is it only grown in Colombia? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Are there other countries growing coke? | ||
| It seems like it's only Colombia. | ||
| Bolivia, yeah. | ||
| I think there's quite a few places that can grow it, but I think it's a climate thing. | ||
| But that doesn't make sense to me because then why can't people grow it in greenhouses? | ||
| And you never hear about cocaine busts where they bust them with cocoa plants. | ||
| So I don't know. | ||
| I'm not a botanist. | ||
| I don't understand what the fuck's wrong. | ||
| But it seems like it would... | ||
| It doesn't make any sense that you have to get it all from South America unless it's the only place where it grows. | ||
| That's the only thing that makes sense to me. | ||
| And I remember there was some controversy about the Egyptian mummies. | ||
| One of the coolest things they found was evidence of cocaine on one of the mummies when they did this real thorough analysis of it. | ||
| And that could be one of two things. | ||
| It means either someone had made it all the way to South America and brought back cocaine. | ||
| That is one possibility. | ||
| Or that someone from South America got in a boat and came all the way to Egypt and sold them cocaine or It was some kind of a false positive because there was some other substance that could mirror that. | ||
| When you're dealing with, you know, someone who's been dead for 5,000 fucking years, I'm sure there's a lot of guesswork involved in the analysis of it. | ||
| But they were thinking that maybe the Egyptian had got a hold of some eight balls. | ||
| Or maybe the archaeologist is a coke head. | ||
| And they like accidentally spilled some coke on his shit. | ||
|
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Like, dude! | |
| Egyptians! | ||
| He's like, no, it's the Egyptians! | ||
| He's like, no, no, it's not mine! | ||
| It's on the fucking, it's the mummy! | ||
| He did it! | ||
| So he had to roll with it. | ||
| That's not outside the realm of possibility. | ||
| He had to roll with it. | ||
| He didn't have a choice. | ||
| You get tired using that brush all day. | ||
| You need a little pick-me-up. | ||
| You say, look, I'm just going to do this coke this one time. | ||
| I'm just going to get really juiced up. | ||
| Dude, you've got to be a coke. | ||
| Cokehead to be an archaeologist. | ||
| Like fucking combing rocks with a toothbrush. | ||
|
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Dude, I'd be doing bath salts. | |
| Cokeheads would forget what they were doing. | ||
| What the fuck was I doing? | ||
| What the fuck was I doing? | ||
| They would forget what they were doing. | ||
| And they would try to start different new businesses while they were cleaning it up. | ||
| They'd be like, dude, I got this amazing idea. | ||
| And they would try to bring you in. | ||
| You're like my brother. | ||
| I mean, even though we just met, you're like my brother. | ||
| I want you to come in on this idea with me, man. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| Fuck archaeology, man. | ||
| Let's make a boat. | ||
| Let's make our own boat. | ||
| Archaeologists, they use their archaeology sometimes to get chicks. | ||
| Like to say, I'm going to go to Egypt. | ||
| You want to come with me and help me out? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I bet they would if they were like... | ||
| Bring your fucking toothbrushes. | ||
| If they were like academic chicks, you know? | ||
| Totally, totally. | ||
| Yeah, that's like a romantic thing. | ||
| A guy who's like a published author and Egyptologist, and he invites you to a dig. | ||
| Like, oh my god. | ||
| How much pussy do you think Giorgio's getting? | ||
| He's gonna be digging me? | ||
| Oh, Giorgio's a handsome bastard. | ||
| He's probably crushing it. | ||
| I would not want to speculate, because I don't know the man's personal situation. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh. | |
| But I would say that if he wanted to. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Giorgio Suclos, a smooth-talking motherfucker. | ||
| Everyone makes fun of his hair. | ||
| He knows what he's doing. | ||
| He knows what he's doing. | ||
| He said, the bitches are going to remember this hair. | ||
| It was funny, man. | ||
| He got upset at me when I retweeted the thing about Ancient Aliens Debunked. | ||
| He was upset. | ||
| I'm like, look, this is how I looked at it. | ||
| You cannot be upset when someone points out mistakes. | ||
| You can't shoot the messenger. | ||
| And he was like, I didn't know you supported Christians. | ||
| The guy's a fundamentalist Christian. | ||
| And I was like... | ||
| Okay, look, man, I like you a lot, and I like the whole subject of aliens a lot, but that guy who made that video pointed out a lot of shit that was inaccurate. | ||
| And that's important. | ||
| It's important to get shit accurate. | ||
| It's important to not make speculations based on faulty evidence. | ||
| And when you've got a television show, you have a certain amount of responsibility. | ||
| So, in my opinion, instead of being upset at that guy, he should have been upset that they put something out that was inaccurate. | ||
| But that doesn't discount the possibility of That we could have been visited by ancient aliens. | ||
| That's where, everybody wants to take one camp or another. | ||
| And this debunker guy, he's like convinced. | ||
| I used to believe that too, but now I think it's been thoroughly debunked. | ||
| Nothing's been debunked. | ||
| There's one monkey. | ||
| Okay, that looks way different from all the other monkeys. | ||
| And the only thing that we resemble is dogs, in that we are completely different looking, but we can breed with each other. | ||
| Like Shaquille O'Neal could mate with Miley Cyrus. | ||
| I mean, they don't even look like they're remotely the same species. | ||
| You know, Shaquille O'Neal is seven foot, whatever the fuck he is. | ||
| Miley Cyrus is not a good example. | ||
| Like, give me a really pale white girl who's tiny. | ||
| Anyone. | ||
| Bjork. | ||
| Bjork. | ||
|
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Okay. | |
| Rosie O'Donnell. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Shaquille O'Neal could fuck Bjork and they could have a baby. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| The only place that exists in nature is with dogs. | ||
| You know, like a baboon can't fuck an orangutan and get it pregnant. | ||
| It doesn't work that way. | ||
| But a dog, any dog can fuck any other dog and then just make another dog. | ||
| Like you take crazy dogs like a beagle and that beagle can fuck one of those giant Russian wolf dogs. | ||
| You ever seen those things? | ||
| Octavox, or whatever the fuck it's called, this crazy thing that looks like an American werewolf in London. | ||
| I mean, it's the most ridiculous-looking dog ever. | ||
| Well, they can fuck, and they can make a little crazy little hybrid baby. | ||
| That only exists in people and dogs. | ||
| And we know that human beings are genetically engineered dogs. | ||
| We know that, you know, by selective breeding and, you know, however the fuck they did it, they're not exactly sure, but they know that all dogs emanate from wolves. | ||
| Somehow or another, From wolves came chihuahuas and beagles and bulldogs. | ||
| All of them originated as wolves, which is really fucking fascinating when you stop and think about it. | ||
| Because we don't know about the origin of dogs. | ||
| The origin of dogs is a very confusing and slippery subject. | ||
| So then when you start talking about the origin of people, well, we fucking resemble dogs quite a bit, folks. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| And we don't look like anything else around us, and we don't behave like anything else around us. | ||
| We're way fucking smarter than everything else here. | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| What's going on and how do we get here? | ||
| It seems confusing. | ||
| That video, he was trying to make it look like he was debunking the whole ancient aliens theory. | ||
| Yeah, he pointed out some mistakes, but he was debunking the whole ancient alien theory. | ||
| There's been a million documentaries on the shit that ancient aliens has done. | ||
| What ancient aliens is doing, it's already been done, but they're doing it. | ||
| It looks the best. | ||
| It's highly produced. | ||
| It's on a history channel. | ||
| So when I first saw Ancient Aliens, I already knew all that shit from... | ||
| I didn't know everything. | ||
| I learned a lot from Ancient Aliens, but the subjects were like all the stuff from Zachariah Sitchin. | ||
| Me and Joe were both into Zachariah Sitchin. | ||
| So to see it on a major television network was awesome. | ||
| Whether they get a date here or pounds off or whatever, That's on the TV show. | ||
| It's not on the theory. | ||
| It would be like watching a jiu-jitsu documentary done by NBC, right? | ||
| The guys at NBC, they don't know jiu-jitsu that well, but they want to do a jiu-jitsu documentary. | ||
| They could easily get frauds or dudes that don't know, you know, they're not real experts in jiu-jitsu and put them on the show. | ||
| And as a jiu-jitsu expert, you watch that and You're not gonna, you know, this guy's a dumbass. | ||
| They put that motherfucker in there. | ||
| They're not, and then someone comes around and says, jujitsu ain't shit. | ||
| That guy's a fraud. | ||
| He's not even a real brown belt. | ||
| You know, he's a lie. | ||
| They put him on TV, but that would, you're not denouncing jujitsu. | ||
| You're denouncing the show. | ||
| And he needed to be more clear about that. | ||
| He wasn't fucking up the theories. | ||
| Come on, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| You're gonna tell me that, you know, there's so much evidence. | ||
| I could go on and on. | ||
| You're gonna tell me there isn't a possibility that there's some crazy shit going on? | ||
| You think, like, you got it all figured out? | ||
| There's a possibility that anything could happen. | ||
| You know... | ||
| Joe? | ||
| I'm done. | ||
| If you look at the... | ||
| There's a bunch of different things that happen to people. | ||
| And one of them that's the most confusing to scientists is the doubling of the human brain size over a period of two million years. | ||
| It's a really shocking fossil event. | ||
| They don't know what the fuck did that. | ||
| And there's a lot of different theories. | ||
| About higher protein consumption. | ||
| We figured out hunting, and then once we started hunting, our brains started growing because they had to figure out how to outsmart the animals. | ||
| And they connected to the throwing arm, the possibility that we figured out that we can throw things in a manner that no other animals can. | ||
| So then we started catching things with spears, and that accelerated our learning curve. | ||
| There's a lot of, like, weird... | ||
| But the bottom line is it's a fucking crazy mystery. | ||
| And if some alien race from another galaxy who is unbelievably brilliant and many, many, many, many, many generations ahead of us in the future to the point where, you know, they realized that in order to preserve intelligent life, you have to seed it. | ||
| So you have to come to a planet that already has life, find the smartest thing there. | ||
| What do you got here? | ||
| There's this crazy monkey thing that's figured out how to use a stick to pick up ants. | ||
| Okay, good. | ||
| He's thinking. | ||
| Okay, let's take some of them and let's do some shit to their DNA and let's see if they survive. | ||
| And then they come back. | ||
| They leave for a few thousand years or whatever and come back and see what the fuck we have. | ||
| What do we have now? | ||
| Well, we have some new signals. | ||
| They've developed nuclear weapons. | ||
| What do you want to do? | ||
| Fuck, that quick? | ||
| And then they come back and check us out. | ||
| It's very possible. | ||
| It's just as possible as us sending rovers to Mars. | ||
| We have done that. | ||
| We have to realize that if we have done that, And we have existed in this planet for 4.6 billion years. | ||
| It took for a human being to get to this point. | ||
| What if there's a planet that's 20 billion years old? | ||
| You know? | ||
| What if there's a planet that's, just double it. | ||
| Let's go to 12 billion. | ||
| What the fuck are we going to be like in 6 billion years or 4 billion years? | ||
| The whole crazy thing about the 10th planet or Nibiru, that planet, is that Who knows if it's out there really or not? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| But the way people react to that theory is that there's trillions and trillions and trillions of stars and planets every fucking way. | ||
|
unidentified
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But if you believe there's a fucking other planet out there, you're fucking crazy. | |
| Well, the real problem with the Nibiru theory is that it comes in between Mars and Jupiter every 3,600 years. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| Is that we have depictions of shit that happened 3,600 years ago. | ||
| It's not that reliable, but you're talking, you would have to go to like 1000 BC. I think that if a planet came around and filled the sky, there would probably be a lot of stories about it. | ||
| And there's no stories about no planet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Doesn't mean it didn't happen and didn't just fuck people up. | ||
| Yeah, who knows if it happened or not. | ||
| But that reaction, like it's so crazy, like it's so magical that there's another planet out there. | ||
| I would think they also should be able to track that thing moving. | ||
| If it was in an elliptical orbit, if it's that big, they should be able to track it. | ||
| Who knows what we're getting? | ||
| Who knows what info we're getting? | ||
| There's a video out right now. | ||
| You know how you hear about all these different 2012, December 21st theories? | ||
| From asteroids to earthquakes to solar flares, all the dark stuff. | ||
| And then there's people that say, oh no, it's a spiritual awakening time. | ||
| And oh, the Mayan calendar, they didn't say anything about any total destruction or anything. | ||
| There's all these theories, right? | ||
| So there's this one theory that is fucking great. | ||
| It's probably all bullshit, but it's great, dude. | ||
| There's a video on YouTube. | ||
| This guy, if you YouTube, Mayan Explains December 21st, 2012. He looks like a Mayan, like an Indian, dark skin, long black hair. | ||
| He's got his Mayan little headset on or his bandana on or something. | ||
| Like white clothes that kind of look like, is that Elton John or is that Mayan? | ||
| Kind of weird, right? | ||
| And he gave a lecture in Santa Monica and the video is everywhere. | ||
| I don't know how popular it is. | ||
| It might be nothing now that I think about it. | ||
| But anyways, the video is interesting. | ||
| He gives a lecture on what's going to happen December 21st, 2012. And he explains the whole Mayan pyramids and everything. | ||
| They should make that guy put all the money that he gets from that lecture in a box. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| And if 2012, December 23rd, rolls around to give you a 24-hour grace period, nothing happened? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| We're going to take that money back. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| This is what he says happens. | ||
| This is what he says happens. | ||
| He comes out and he says, first of all, Is this the guy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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I don't know. | |
| The dude's probably just hustling. | ||
| Why is this so interesting? | ||
| No, the story... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, here, here, here. | |
| The story is badass. | ||
| This one? | ||
| The story is badass? | ||
| Oh, no, the third one. | ||
| That's it right there, right? | ||
| That one right there. | ||
|
unidentified
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What is it? | |
| Are you actually going to hear it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
So now in these times, there's something that really bothers me. | |
| And it has to do with the planetary alignment that's going to happen on the 21st of December of this year. | ||
| There's a great experiment that is going to be fulfilled on that day. | ||
| And this experiment uses the particle accelerators. | ||
| Scientists are looking for the antimatter. | ||
| And so they want to use this planetary alignment to generate a very high vibration. | ||
| It's called the proton-proton. | ||
| It's a proton that is generated with very large machines. | ||
| It's a proton that's generated with very large machines. | ||
| And there are two particles that Revolve in opposite directions. | ||
| Alright, stop now. | ||
| Stop now. | ||
| Okay, this is what it gets to. | ||
| I was going to really listen to him, except he's full of shit and he has a sleeveless shirt on. | ||
| Those are two things I don't like. | ||
| No, but this is what he says. | ||
| He says what's happening on 2012, 21st. | ||
| You don't want to know? | ||
| Why? | ||
| He sucks. | ||
| This guy's just a bullshit artist. | ||
| Okay, okay, okay. | ||
|
unidentified
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What's he going to say? | |
| I'm just saying it's a cool story. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| It's a cool story. | ||
| Keep it going, then. | ||
| Nah, forget it. | ||
| No, it's okay. | ||
| Well, he's just some crazy guy with a fucking bullshit story. | ||
| Those guys are annoying. | ||
| Listen to him. | ||
|
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When they come together, when they collide, they let go and they release all of these protons for the impact. | |
| And these protons They stimulate another round in the machine and they hit the earth. | ||
| And when they hit the earth, they create a chain reaction. | ||
| They create a reaction towards the direction of the magma. | ||
| The magma hits the protons and it shoots out to the exterior of the earth. | ||
| And so when they are released, they break the tectonic plates. | ||
| So they ignite the methane gas, and the gas escapes in the earth. | ||
| And in some way of friction, And one moment of that friction, the methane gas He's just talking about what happens with the Large Hadron Collider, the problems that's happening. | ||
| He's saying there's an experiment. | ||
| 2012, they're going to... | ||
| Yeah, I understand what he's saying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is stupid. | |
| And so that's how hundreds of hectares of forests are burned. | ||
| Let me give it to you in a nutshell. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can stop it. | |
| You can stop it. | ||
| How did you ever get this far? | ||
| How did you ever get so far and then repeat it and then bring it to us? | ||
| And what's Will Ferrell doing in it? | ||
| Is that Will Ferrell? | ||
| What he's saying is that... | ||
| This is what he's saying. | ||
| This is what he's saying. | ||
| During the galactic alignment... | ||
| The reason he's explaining the particle collider is that they're going to do that on the 21st, right when... | ||
| The sun is in the, you know, when it passes through the center of the galaxy, he goes for eight minutes. | ||
| This is what he says, for eight minutes, that this is why, for eight minutes, we're going to be hit with, like, energy from the center of the galaxy, that we feel enlightened, like we're in a dream. | ||
| Do you know that Neil deGrasse Tyson says that that alignment happens all the time and it's total bullshit? | ||
| I never knew that. | ||
| Yeah, he's an astronomer. | ||
| I'll go with him. | ||
| And what does he say? | ||
| He says it's bullshit. | ||
| He says that alignment happens all the time and that these people that are talking about this alignment, they're not astronomers. | ||
| They really don't know what they're saying. | ||
| It doesn't happen every 26,000 years? | ||
| Not according to Neil deGrasse Tyson, and he's a fucking brilliant man. | ||
| He says that that 26,000-year cycle is bullshit? | ||
| It's nonsense. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, he says it happens all the time. | ||
| Well, the procession of the equinox is a 26,000-year cycle. | ||
| You're talking about a completely different thing. | ||
| The procession of the equinox is the wobble of the Earth, and that is 26,000 years. | ||
| That's been proven. | ||
| I thought that here's the center of the galaxy like a disc, and our sun It takes 26, it rotates like this around it, like that, and it takes 26,000 years to make that loop, and then it goes through the center, and then it goes this way, down, upward, and then it goes through the center. | ||
| That's what I read, but I could be totally wrong. | ||
| I don't even know what that means. | ||
| I'm not really sure I know what that means. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| Like, the center of the galaxy, the galaxy's a disc. | ||
| You were doing shit with your hands. | ||
| Well, you know what I'm talking about? | ||
| Hey, dude, this is not a good place. | ||
| Confusing the shit out of me. | ||
| I'm looking over my shoulder, I'm seeing people. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| Does it work that way? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's what I read. | ||
| That's what I saw on the internet. | ||
| See, that's the problem. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| Neil deGrasse Tyson says nothing's going to happen. | ||
| He says that that connection, that shit's there all the time. | ||
| So the sun passes through the center of the galaxy all the time? | ||
| Apparently. | ||
| Is that what he's saying? | ||
| Apparently the position it's going to be in, he said it's happened many times. | ||
| That's what he says. | ||
| These motherfuckers working on the Large Hadron Collider, though, they are unchecked. | ||
| Unchecked crazy super geniuses. | ||
| I'm not saying that we should stop the program, but I am saying that there's far too people that aren't concerned about the possibilities of all the crazy shit they're doing. | ||
| They're absolutely making little black holes. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| When you create that Higgs boson particle, there's these microscopic black holes that are made. | ||
| They don't have enough gravity to stay active, so they disappear really quickly. | ||
| But what the fuck? | ||
| What kind of a crazy asshole uses a machine with the possibility of making a black hole? | ||
| Because what's going to happen next? | ||
| Are they going to be happy with these results and just stop there? | ||
| What if there's more spectacular energy that can be created, but there's a smaller chance the black hole sticks around a while? | ||
| Of course they're going to go for that. | ||
| They're going to keep doing it. | ||
| They're going to keep doing it. | ||
| Because people are fucking infantuated with figuring out how shit works. | ||
| Things like the Large Hadron Collider, it's just one step in a never-ending process until they get to technology that could end the universe instantly, all at once. | ||
| It's almost inevitable. | ||
| If you think about what they're doing now, Large Hadron Collider is a crazy idea. | ||
| They are finding, they're recreating the conditions millionths of a second after the universe was created. | ||
| That's what they're doing by smashing those atoms together. | ||
| They're recreating this particle. | ||
| The way they figured that out to build... | ||
| What is it, like 17 miles in a circle? | ||
| Something like that? | ||
| I think it's 22. I think it's 22 miles. | ||
| It might be 22 kilometers. | ||
| Whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| And they smash? | ||
| And they smash these atoms together. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Not only did they figure it out, they explained it, got funding... | ||
| And then they're out there doing it. | ||
| That is alien right there. | ||
| They're not us. | ||
| I don't know any of people that can do that. | ||
| How the fuck did they do that? | ||
| Those are aliens. | ||
| I mean, it's like... | ||
| It's a circle, like a tube in a circle, and they run particles simultaneously, and then they run into each other or something. | ||
| I don't understand it. | ||
| I'm not smart. | ||
| And then when they collide, the explosion... | ||
| They're taking snapshots of the explosion to see what the hell is going on. | ||
| They're trying to find the god particle. | ||
| They believe they've isolated that. | ||
| And there's also something called quark gluon plasma. | ||
| That's another thing that they've created. | ||
| They've created a new kind of matter that didn't exist before. | ||
| They're doing a lot of freaky shit. | ||
| This quark gluon plasma, I think if you made... | ||
| I think the dimensions are... | ||
| A sugar cube would weigh 40 million pounds. | ||
| It might be billion. | ||
| Let me see. | ||
| I gotta pull that up because it's fucking crazy. | ||
| When I read the quote, glue on plasma weight. | ||
| When I read the quote, I was like, what the fuck are they doing? | ||
| They're making some shit that is just like infinitely heavy. | ||
| And this is something that it was... | ||
| I believe this was all... | ||
| Basically, this was all theoretical until really recently. | ||
| I know that the... | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| The quark-gluon plasma has an approximate temperature of 4 trillion degrees Celsius. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| 4 trillion degrees Celsius. | ||
| There's just weird shit to reality and to matter that they're starting to figure out, like things like this, like this quark gluon plasma and the Higgs boson and whatever this new matter thing that they figured out. | ||
| They figured out some new kind of matter that they've created. | ||
| All of this is very, very, very strange. | ||
| Isn't it crazy getting most of our info from Twitter? | ||
| It's out there hunting the latest, coolest info down and And they just tweet it, and boom, you see it on Twitter. | ||
| Remember Family Matters? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a good show. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| You were talking about Matters, weren't you? | ||
| Oh. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| How dare you, Brian? | ||
| You need to go to a doctor. | ||
| I told you this many times. | ||
| What were we talking about before that? | ||
| Before he came and directed? | ||
| Large Aldron Collider. | ||
| Why do you think that's funny? | ||
| You think it's funny to just ruin conversations? | ||
| I thought you'd just be like, haha, like that. | ||
| No, it's impossible to move away from that one. | ||
| Don't worry about it. | ||
| The network that we have, though, with Twitter, all the people sending you shit, it's really an incredible thing that never existed before. | ||
| The idea that people all around the world find cool shit, they send it to you because they know you're retweeted if you find cool shit? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you just keep doing that. | ||
| So you're constantly, every day, getting new cool shit. | ||
| The latest cool shit. | ||
| You know what's annoying though, man? | ||
| The occasional parody site. | ||
| Fuck you, fake news. | ||
| Fuck you with your fucking boring ass fake news. | ||
| That shit's boring. | ||
| I don't like any of it. | ||
| I think The Onion does it really well. | ||
| The Onion does it... | ||
| They do... | ||
| And by the way, it's The Onion. | ||
| You go to The Onion, you know what the fuck The Onion is. | ||
| There's all these fake onions that are coming along. | ||
| They'll make these fake stories. | ||
| And occasionally they rope you in. | ||
| And someone's like, dude, it's a parody site. | ||
| Like, it's a parody site? | ||
| What the fuck kind of parody is that? | ||
| Where you just lied? | ||
| What are they? | ||
| What are the famous ones? | ||
| How is it a parody when you lie? | ||
| It's just a lie. | ||
| It's just a fake fuck. | ||
| It's not even remotely weird enough to be fake. | ||
| You should check out The Young Turks if you haven't. | ||
| We had the co-host on today on the podcast. | ||
| I think you'd really like her a lot. | ||
| We've talked about that show a lot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She's great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We talked about it yesterday. | ||
| I talked about it with Shane Smith the other day, too. | ||
| What happened with her? | ||
| Did you know that that's the number one news right now? | ||
| Her channel is the number one online news. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| Makes sense. | ||
| People don't want to watch CNN online anymore. | ||
| They know they're getting bullshitted. | ||
| And by the way, they also know they're going to have to sit through these fucking commercials every time it jumps to a new story. | ||
| You ever go to CNN.com? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Great source of information, but it makes you want to put your fucking head through a wall and start listening to their videos. | ||
| Because if you watch their video, every fucking video you have to watch a 30-second commercial. | ||
| So it's over and over and over again, and usually it's the same goddamn commercial. | ||
| So over and over and over again, you're listening to this stupid nonsense about detergent or whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| And you get to the point where you're like, this is crazy. | ||
| Play me ten in a row, okay? | ||
| Play me three in a row. | ||
| You can't have a fucking commercial after each goddamn video. | ||
| So that's how the Young Turks, they just sneak in and steal CNN's thunder. | ||
| She said she'll come on the podcast if we ever want her. | ||
| Okay, that would be beautiful. | ||
| She was fun? | ||
| I think you would like her. | ||
| She's very intelligent. | ||
| It's pretty cool talking to a smart chick. | ||
| Yeah, I wonder how much the CIA's been following her. | ||
| If you're telling some real news on the internet? | ||
|
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|
Whoever? | |
| Is she one of those people? | ||
| No, this is a different one. | ||
| Eddie, have you ever been to a dance club where somebody has those little glowy pins that attach to their fingers? | ||
| Have you seen those? | ||
| Yeah, they're like glow sticks that attach to your fingers. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I haven't been to a club in a long time. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| I saw a guy the other day in San Diego, and he had these little things that you attach to your fingers that are like glow sticks, but you go like this and they flash around. | ||
| I guess it's like a rave thing now, popular. | ||
| But it was hilarious watching him dance with that shit. | ||
| They're too lazy for glow sticks. | ||
| Like, you know what, man? | ||
| I like glow sticks, but I want to carry things. | ||
| Can you make them stick to my fingers so I can just move my fingers around? | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| It's the gayest with an H thing you will ever see somebody dance around with those things on his finger. | ||
| Look, I've seen sadder, dude. | ||
| I've seen a lot of sad shit. | ||
| At least glow sticks kind of look cool when you're high. | ||
| There's something to them. | ||
| It's funny how one sort of a thing got attached to one drug, you know? | ||
| Ecstasy and glow sticks, you know? | ||
| It's kind of interesting. | ||
| Well, when you're on ecstasy, lights are way brighter. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, and also it's like hypnotic when you see it like trailing in the air. | ||
| You know, there's like a certain trail quality to those glow sticks. | ||
| Here's a guy I got, if you're looking at the video. | ||
| Oh, you don't have video over there. | ||
| It sucks. | ||
| Just play it in the thing. | ||
| What am I looking at? | ||
| Here he has them on. | ||
| These like low finger things. | ||
| And so you see these guys dancing around. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And it's the most ridiculous thing ever. | ||
| I don't know if they're singing sound. | ||
| But, like, this was like, I saw all these people in San Diego have them. | ||
| Like, me and Doug Benson were at a dance club and saw, like, a guy doing this shit. | ||
| And it's just like, is that the new thing? | ||
| I feel like an old man. | ||
| I would say it's definitely not the new thing. | ||
| I do not see that catching on. | ||
| It was funny watching people dance with it. | ||
| I didn't even know it existed, man. | ||
| Would you ever do that? | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| If the movement hit me, if the rhythm gets me, I might go and put on some fucking glow stick thingies and dance like a motherfucker. | ||
| Have you guys heard about this lawsuit where there's a pill that this dude took that turned him into a gay sex and gambling act? | ||
| The court has upheld this ruling, okay? | ||
| A ruling against the pharmaceutical giant, Glasgow Smith, they had to pay €197,000 to a man who claimed that the drug used to treat his Parkinson's turned him into a gay, sex, and gambling addict. | ||
| What? | ||
| What's the translation of money? | ||
| Was that ten bucks that they had to pay? | ||
| No, it's $151,000. | ||
| They paid him $151,000. | ||
| How is that possible? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck happened. | ||
| So the guy said the drug made him addicted to internet gambling and caused him to lose the family savings and steal to feed the habit that cost him 82,000 euros. | ||
| Then he said he attempted suicide eight times and became a compulsive gay sex addict. | ||
| Exposing himself on the internet and cross-dressing. | ||
| His risky sexual encounters led to him being raped. | ||
| What? | ||
| All that stopped when he ceased taking Requip. | ||
| This is the stuff called Requip. | ||
| Requip. | ||
| Requip has been known for years to have undesired side effects, but a warning only appeared on its package insert in 2006, the lawyer said. | ||
| So this was in 2003. This guy was taking this stuff. | ||
| Before the company admitted that there's some horrific side effects with certain people. | ||
| There's some gay juice in there or something? | ||
| Well, it's funny, man. | ||
| People are a series of, you know, like the way your whole system works. | ||
| There's a series of chemicals that interact with the body. | ||
| And everybody has a different setup. | ||
| And we all know people who can't drink. | ||
| We all know people who can't. | ||
| You ever met anybody who can't eat peanuts? | ||
| Those motherfuckers get nervous around peanuts. | ||
| Like they can't eat peanuts. | ||
| Their throat will close up. | ||
| There's some people that, like, normal shit, they're allergic to. | ||
| A lot of people are allergic to wheat, it turns out. | ||
| There's a lot of gluten out. | ||
| The body's weird, but I've never heard of something turning into a gay sex addict. | ||
| Who was the lawyer of the pharmaceutical company, like Earl Shive or something like that? | ||
| Maybe this guy's just a really good liar. | ||
| I would like to see his testimony, please. | ||
| If they paid, doesn't that kind of mean that it actually works? | ||
| Well, it means they were able to prove to the jury. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| I mean, the juries generally try to side with people, I think, more than they would gigantic pharmaceutical companies. | ||
| So the guy could just have an... | ||
| He could have got caught on this just mad fucking gay sex and gambling binge and his wife found out. | ||
| And she's like, if you don't seek help, it's over. | ||
| They admitted something in 2006. They admitted the side effects, but they actually have to admit, don't they, the actual side effects that happened? | ||
| Well, I would assume it's not a gay sex addict because that shit would have been out by now. | ||
| I would imagine that there's a lot of people that take this Parkinson's medication if they all became Crazy gay sex addicts. | ||
| You guys want to try it? | ||
| That would be like a gay sex voodoo drug. | ||
| Could you imagine if you took some shit and it made you a gay sex addict? | ||
| Like if it was, if this human sexuality was that manipulated, manipulable? | ||
| Manipulable. | ||
| If it was that easy to manipulate, where someone can actually add something to your system and it would turn you into a gay sex addict. | ||
| Oh man, there'd be so many gay dudes doing that to straight guys. | ||
| What's funny is the CIA tried to do that in Iraq. | ||
| They were trying to create a gay bomb. | ||
| And this is a true story. | ||
| They were trying to find out if it was possible to make something that could blow up over the city. | ||
| It would rain down on these people and they would all fall in love with men. | ||
| And it would kill their morale. | ||
| And they wouldn't want to fight anymore. | ||
| And they would be ashamed. | ||
| And they would lose their ambition to fight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| That's amazing. | ||
| Well, it's really ridiculous too because The greatest warriors in the history of humanity have been gay guys. | ||
| There's been a lot of gay sex in the Romans, a lot of gay sex in the Greeks. | ||
| I mean, before North America ever even was populated with houses, these guys were fucking people up with swords and banging each other in the ass. | ||
| So they were their kings back then. | ||
| So the idea that you could drop a bomb on these Iraqis... | ||
| And then all of a sudden, all this butt sex would just be going off and no one would feel like they would need to fight back. | ||
| What if you turned them into some crazy super warrior Greek homo gods and they just all started fucking Americans up because they loved each other because they're all gay sexing each other all day and they fight even harder because they don't want to lose their boyfriends. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they love going on the road. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| They're like camels. | ||
|
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|
They don't need any pussy. | |
| That's a good way of looking at it, man. | ||
| They could just wander through the woods. | ||
| Imagine that shit if they really could. | ||
| The CIA really was trying to do that. | ||
| The CIA gay bomb. | ||
| If you just Google that, you'll find the study. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, it'd probably be best if you were running shit in Spain back in the Conquistador days. | ||
| To get a crew of nothing but gay dudes, right? | ||
| Because then you wouldn't have to worry about them being all starved of sex and love. | ||
| I guess. | ||
| You know, the other thing they would do is apparently the CIA would make fake Islamic gay porn. | ||
| They would organize the gay porn and make it like dudes speaking Arabic. | ||
| So they'd say, listen, you're going to talk some Arabic, then you're going to suck his dick, then he's going to put it in your ass. | ||
| And they would organize the show themselves. | ||
| They would organize the gay porn shoots themselves. | ||
| So then they would say, oh, look at all this Islamic gay porn. | ||
| So the CIA was making gay porn in order to make the other side look bad. | ||
| I wonder if they were executive producing it or if they were actually in there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fucking it! | |
| They had to fuck it. | ||
| We gotta have to do this ourselves. | ||
| We can't trust actors. | ||
| Look, what if they tell our story and the government could lose its battle with the Islamic terrorists? | ||
| So listen, you're gonna have to suck my dick and I'm gonna have to fuck you and... | ||
| Ridiculous. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Those are some good ideas, though. | ||
| If I was in the CIA, I'd be up for it. | ||
| I'd be pushing for that one. | ||
| I'd be voting for that one. | ||
| This would be funny. | ||
| Would you want to be in the CIA and be in the gay porn division? | ||
| Would you think that would be one of the worst jobs? | ||
| I'd want to be in the brainwash division. | ||
| Like all the different ways to brainwash people. | ||
| I'd be fascinated with that. | ||
| They really did think that they were going to be able to do that. | ||
| In the 1990s, they spent a lot of money on this, man. | ||
| The theory was that the bomb would release a chemical compound that would render the opposing troops so irresistibly horny that instead of raising their rifles to defend their nations, they would turn ravenously gay and raise something else in time and have passionate sex with each other. | ||
| Dude, it sounds like they figured it out. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And as an added bonus, the burst of gay sex... | ||
| Would leave the enemy troops emasculated with shame. | ||
| How many dudes would play tricks and pranks on their friends, dude, and slip some gay drugs in their drink? | ||
| That would be so common. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or do it with your teacher and then have gay sex with your teacher. | |
| What if they really liked it? | ||
| When they got on the gay drug and it was like, wait, look, I thought I was straight until today, but the gay life is for me. | ||
| It's way more fun. | ||
| I just need to take this gay drug once every couple of days. | ||
| Give me a dose of hypergay. | ||
| I feel loved. | ||
| Like they go to clubs and all of a sudden they can get laid. | ||
| And they feel understood. | ||
| Like this is a man. | ||
| A man understands a man. | ||
| Women pretend to understand men. | ||
| Just to keep you around and sort of stare at you and shake their head at you every now and then because you're disappointed. | ||
| But a dude understands a dude. | ||
| The smells of being gay must be awful. | ||
| Just being a gay person and the daily smells you have to deal with. | ||
| Well they don't all bubfuck. | ||
| A lot of them just blow each other. | ||
| So the smells would be pretty similar to what you're smelling already. | ||
| Yeah, but when you're spooning up to your man at night and you just smell his butt, you know, it's going to be worse than a chick. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| Maybe they're, like, really clean. | ||
| Would it feel like a vegan? | ||
| I was talking about bears, guys. | ||
| Oh, all the bears? | ||
| I know you'd get the clean one. | ||
| Is that what you think you would get? | ||
| I'd get, like, a Tom Segura or a Bert Kreischer. | ||
| But would you guys be, like, dual bears? | ||
| Or would you, like, battle like those bears do in those open fields where they start pulling their hair out? | ||
| Or would you just let them be the top bear? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I know. | ||
| It's a good question. | ||
| Because bears seem to always get along for a little while until there's some pussy around, and then you see bears going off on each other and brawling in the fields. | ||
| It's always pussy that brings them to that. | ||
| So I wonder if there was no pussy involved, it was just two dudes. | ||
| Would that even be an issue? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe gay bears would be cool to camp near. | ||
| Hibernate with them. | ||
| Hibernate. | ||
| Hibernate. | ||
| Hibernate all over this man. | ||
| If you wanted to have a gay relationship, would you want a gay relationship with a bear-type gay dude, a super obvious, really super femme gay dude, or a dude who looks exactly like a girl but has a dick? | ||
| Ooh. | ||
| Because, you know, you ever seen someone else? | ||
| I'd have to take that gay drug to give you marijuana. | ||
| Would you take the gay drug for a TV show? | ||
| As soon as it kicks in, you're like, oh, dude, I'm feeling it. | ||
| Young Asian boys. | ||
| Could you imagine if we could do that for the podcast? | ||
| We just contained ourselves inside a room so that we... | ||
| We strapped ourselves up to make sure, extra tight. | ||
| Make sure it's tight! | ||
| Yeah, really, really buckle yourself and take a spoonful of that shit. | ||
| I wouldn't trust your buckles. | ||
| I would just duct tape my dick in my butthole, just in case. | ||
| I wouldn't trust you guys. | ||
| I wouldn't trust you at all, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And as soon as it kicks in, you're like, dude, let me out! | |
| Come on! | ||
| You can do it! | ||
| Let me out! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on, dude! | |
| Come on, somebody! | ||
| Let me out! | ||
| Eddie, he spits out a key out of his mouth. | ||
| As it wears... | ||
| Catch it with your toes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's enough! | |
| Catch it with your toes. | ||
| I tried, bro! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You saw how much duct tape I put. | |
| I tried! | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Houdini style. | ||
| That would be ridiculous. | ||
| See the dude's buckle strapping? | ||
| It's like that scene in The Wolfman when all the scientists are surrounding him trying to diagnose... | ||
| I don't know if you ever saw the Benicio Del Toro Wolfman. | ||
| It's a stupid-ass movie. | ||
| But a couple cool... | ||
| Werewolf scenes. | ||
| They thought the straps were going to hold them down. | ||
| No. | ||
| Fucking burst right through that shit. | ||
| Just like that gay lust would do for you. | ||
| Burst right through with a giant raging hard-on. | ||
| Just purple and angry. | ||
| Just demand satisfaction. | ||
| Like that dolphin. | ||
| And then the come down. | ||
| The come down. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| You already feel like shit. | ||
| And they're like, oh my god, I just sucked this dude's dick. | ||
| You start being bi for a little bit. | ||
| Maybe that's what it is. | ||
| It's like, you know, I'm not drunk, but I'm buzzed. | ||
| You start being bi for a little. | ||
| I wonder if they're ever going to figure out a way, or if humans keep evolving, if we're ever going to separate the idea of sex and making people. | ||
| Because if you look at all the images that people claim to have seen, like of these aliens, the gray aliens, they all are sexless. | ||
| They have no organs. | ||
| They have no sex organs. | ||
| You've got to wonder, man, if we keep fucking around with genetics, And we keep fucking around with artificial skin and all this weird shit that's going on right now that they're in the middle of experimenting with. | ||
| Artificial cells, artificial atoms, like really strange, I don't know if they could do artificial atoms, but really strange shit. | ||
| And the idea is that one day, what if they just say, listen, when we have sex, we have these problems and there's a lot of emotions. | ||
| We've figured out a way to isolate those same feelings, and you can get that with a pill. | ||
| And then we can just recreate people with skin cells. | ||
| We can make you a person, and you can raise that person, and the person will just take a skin cell from you and run it through a fucking computer. | ||
| What do you want? | ||
| You want a boy? | ||
| You want a girl? | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| Everybody looks the same. | ||
| Nobody's got a dick. | ||
| And they come out, and if we keep going, if technology and the symbiotic relationship that human beings have to it If that shit keeps going, which it obviously is going to, we're going to start fucking with the human body. | ||
| And we're certainly more likely to move away from monkey instincts and the certain needs that cause people to want to dominate others, to want to fuck others, to want to plant seeds. | ||
| If we really look at it all objectively, we might one day decide to slowly move away from that. | ||
| It might take a few thousand years. | ||
| But it might get to a point where, as a culture, they've recognized that these lustful feelings that we enjoy today and that motivate people to build buildings and drive fast cars and fucking learn how to fly a jet, that might be a thing of the past. | ||
| They might figure out a way to engineer human beings to the point where sex is no longer part of the equation. | ||
| That's a real mindfuck, man. | ||
| If they come up with something that feels better than sex, though, it's totally possible. | ||
| They come up with some sort of an artificial reality, some simulated thing, some fucking... | ||
| Or sex that you can eat. | ||
| Sex that you can eat. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| Like you can eat something and it tastes delicious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it fulfills your sexual flow. | ||
| The more you fuck it, the better it gets. | ||
| I wonder how many people out there have zero sex drive. | ||
| Like they just have a condition. | ||
| There's zero sex drive. | ||
| They do not want to fuck ever. | ||
| I'm sure there's quite a few. | ||
| Who are those guys? | ||
| I'm sure there's quite a few. | ||
| I wonder if there's super happy people like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Can you be super happy? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| You have hobbies. | ||
| There's things that motivate you. | ||
| There's a lot of people that are just not motivated by sex. | ||
| You know, I've met a lot of people that are in relationships that don't have sex anymore. | ||
| That's when it gets really weird. | ||
| And they tell you, hey, we're like more friends than anything. | ||
| I mean, I don't even care anymore. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| I know a dude. | ||
| His wife had a baby. | ||
| He had a hard time getting some sex, as it was. | ||
| Like, it was always the joke around the set. | ||
| We worked together. | ||
| It was always the joke around the set. | ||
| Always talking about he can't get laid. | ||
| Everybody would talk about this poor guy who couldn't get laid. | ||
| And then finally his wife had a kid. | ||
| So I guess he got laid. | ||
| And she got pregnant. | ||
| And then she shut it off. | ||
| No more. | ||
| And his kid is now three. | ||
| And he has had no sex with her since he got her pregnant. | ||
| And that's just madness. | ||
| I'm like, how could a guy live like that? | ||
| How could a guy... | ||
| No desire to please him. | ||
| And I go, do you try? | ||
| He's like, oh yeah, she shuts me down every time. | ||
| I'm like, you keep trying. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Some girls probably think that, you know, I'm pregnant, it's disrespectful to the baby or some kind of shit like that. | ||
| Well, not forget about that. | ||
| The kid's three. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| The kid's three. | ||
| There's been no sex since the baby. | ||
| Like, she got a baby and she's like, I don't even like that shit. | ||
| We're done. | ||
| I don't need it. | ||
| I don't need you. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's a bad situation for a guy to be in, man. | ||
| That guy's like... | ||
| A heroin addict that lives with a big fat stash of heroin sitting on the kitchen table. | ||
| You know? | ||
| All his needs could be sexually fulfilled by this other person. | ||
| But this other person's like, eh, no. | ||
| I don't like it. | ||
| I don't want to do it. | ||
| Well, if she does that, then obviously he's allowed to cheat, I would say. | ||
| Well, he should get out of the relationship. | ||
| That's a bad relationship. | ||
| Well, just don't bring it up around her. | ||
| You've got a kid involved. | ||
| Yeah, she'd probably be happy if he cheated. | ||
| Get out of here, bitch. | ||
| Stop trying to fuck me. | ||
| They haven't had sex in three years. | ||
| Three years. | ||
| For 100%? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He wouldn't bullshit? | ||
| Oh, no, he wouldn't bullshit. | ||
| Three years? | ||
| Yeah, he's a good dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| He's a really good dude. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| That would only last three months. | ||
| Yeah, how long do you think he would last with a woman if she refused to have sex? | ||
| Three months. | ||
| Three months is a long time. | ||
| Depends on what kind of reason she had. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What was the reason? | ||
| Your dick stank. | ||
| Then it's over. | ||
| Yeah, no, that's true. | ||
| It would depend on the reason. | ||
| Like, if you had did something wrong... | ||
| But if everything's fine and there's no sex for a couple weeks, I would think something was wrong. | ||
| Like, wait, there's two weeks? | ||
| This is ridiculous. | ||
| Two weeks? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| One week was ridiculous, but... | ||
| You know, two weeks is just something's wrong. | ||
| Women just don't need it as much. | ||
| Some of them. | ||
| Some of them need it more. | ||
| That's when shit gets annoying. | ||
| Some of them are addicted to it. | ||
| The worst is when your chick wants to fuck more than you do. | ||
| And you're like, Jesus Christ, I got shit to do. | ||
| You want another one? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| God damn it! | ||
| Can I just go to sleep? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those are in the early days. | ||
| Well, I think a lot of young people do that too, to sort of distract them from the realities of life. | ||
| Life is just so fucking confusing when you're young, you just want to escape and just fuck all the time and fall in love. | ||
| I think they're just really, really hydrated in the need to get that shit out of them. | ||
| I don't like it that I can't see your face, you fuck. | ||
| We're going to move this screen. | ||
| No more of this. | ||
| You're hiding behind there throwing shit bombs. | ||
| It's so fun. | ||
| It's like a bunker. | ||
| It's a bunker. | ||
| It's so fun. | ||
| It's fun, but it's also quite a conversation killer, you fuck. | ||
| Occasionally they work, though. | ||
| Occasionally they're really good. | ||
| My ex was a squirter, that's what I was saying. | ||
| Yeah, that shit's nasty. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| A lot of girls, like Dana D'Armand, she says that's just piss. | ||
| She's lying. | ||
| She's a girl, man. | ||
| How can you say? | ||
| She knows what's up. | ||
| Squirting. | ||
| That girl's pissing all over you, son. | ||
| It's not pissing. | ||
| It has a piss smell type. | ||
| Smell to it, but I don't think it's piss. | ||
| Oh, well, as long as it has a piss-type smell, that probably precludes the possibility of it being piss. | ||
| I mean, why would it be piss if it had a piss-like smell? | ||
| Maybe we need to get Dr. Drew in here. | ||
| Yeah, Dr. Drew has no information that's accurate about marijuana. | ||
| What the fuck do you think he would tell you about squirting? | ||
| Is he mad at you? | ||
| Would he still have you on your show? | ||
| You're going off old information. | ||
| No, I would do his show. | ||
| I would definitely do his show. | ||
| But you would think that he probably wouldn't want you on your show? | ||
| No, listen, I've never said anything that's not true. | ||
| He's done some silly things when it came to marijuana and the silliest thing is all his nonsense that he says on a CNN show about these horrible addictive withdrawals that people have and withdrawal symptoms that people have from marijuana. | ||
| That's crazy and he knows it. | ||
| That is fucking crazy. | ||
| The people who have Any physical withdrawal from marijuana are extremely rare. | ||
| Extremely rare. | ||
| Yeah, but you know if you get weed away from Joey Diaz that he would probably go through physical withdrawals? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You don't think so? | |
| No, he takes days off of weed, man. | ||
| It's not a physical thing. | ||
| Joey likes to be high for sure. | ||
| He's definitely ADD medicating or whatever the fuck he has. | ||
| Yeah, but we're talking about days. | ||
| Dude, he would get annoyed with you. | ||
| He would want to be high again. | ||
| But physically, his body would not be addicted to it. | ||
| So that's where withdrawal syndrome comes from. | ||
| You're probably sweating at night, I think. | ||
| I just see him. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe I'm wrong. | ||
| Look, there's some people that get addicted to toothpaste. | ||
| There's people that get addicted to everything. | ||
| There's a lot of weirdness in the world of addictions. | ||
| But to say that it's one of the more dangerous drugs, or that there's dangerous withdrawal syndromes, That's nonsense. | ||
| It knows it's nonsense. | ||
| Or the gateway theory. | ||
| There's no connection in marijuana physically to addiction. | ||
| It's not like opiates where there's an established connection of addiction. | ||
| There's no chemical established connection of addiction to marijuana. | ||
| It's not something that robs your brain of dopamine and then you need it to re-get your high again. | ||
| It doesn't work that way. | ||
| So for someone that discounts it, and then the other problem is they belittle it. | ||
| They say, well, look, hey, I'm all for it. | ||
| You want to smoke your pot? | ||
| Go ahead and smoke your pot. | ||
| That's what you want to do. | ||
| Some people like to drink. | ||
| Some people like to smoke pot. | ||
| And the problem with that is that they're talking from a non-experienced point of view. | ||
| They're not a person who's had any psychedelic experiences, and they're not a person who has had any cannabis experiences that were enlightening. | ||
| And you and I both have had some crazy experiences, eating it, smoking it, whatever, where we broke down some certain aspect of our life and changed things and looked at things in a different way and created things. | ||
| And music has come from it and ideas have come from it. | ||
| And an understanding of yourself comes from it. | ||
| And to discount that is ignorance, especially if you haven't experienced it. | ||
| And you are dealing with a broken group of people. | ||
| You're dealing primarily with people that come to someone when shit has fallen apart. | ||
| But guess what? | ||
| There's a lot of people that aren't falling apart. | ||
| It's not the same drug as all these drugs that people are taking where they're scratching their face off. | ||
| You can't call it a drug. | ||
| You cannot call it a drug. | ||
| Because there's no meth advocates. | ||
| There's no people, you know, trying to tell you that you just get a little crystal and you're gonna get your life in order. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Get a little crystal and change your perspective. | ||
| Man, why don't you just look at things in a fresh manner, bro. | ||
| Get a little crystal in your system and then listen to this song. | ||
| Meth magazines. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| Where they show up posters of like the... | ||
| Pin-ups of the crystal up close and shit. | ||
| Oh, this is ice. | ||
| Oh shit, that's good ice. | ||
| This is the shit from Breaking Bad, motherfucker. | ||
| This is the shit that the chemicals make. | ||
| The photos and the high times and all those things are so hilarious. | ||
| They have like pin-ups of weed. | ||
| Yeah, I never got that. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| I love weed, you know that, but I've never been into weed so much where I'm going to put up a pin-up of like, Purple haze or some shit. | ||
| It really is beautiful. | ||
| I can't wait until it becomes legal. | ||
| Because when it becomes legal, I'm going to start eating it. | ||
| And I don't even mean to get you high. | ||
| I mean eating it raw. | ||
| Which, by the way, can't get you high. | ||
| But apparently, it's super nutritious. | ||
| Like marijuana and the seeds and eating it raw. | ||
| Like the bud? | ||
| The bud, the leaves, all that shit. | ||
| Yeah, just pluck it off the stem. | ||
| You don't want to eat the stems. | ||
| But all those leaves and shit, apparently it's like Really nutritious. | ||
| Apparently eating marijuana is like super good for you. | ||
| It doesn't get you high at all. | ||
| You could juice it. | ||
| Really good for you if you juice it. | ||
| It's just so many different... | ||
| It almost seems like a joke when you start talking about all the different things that it can do. | ||
| It's like, come on. | ||
| If it could do all those things, let's be realistic. | ||
| It would be legal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
| That doesn't even make any sense. | ||
| You find out you can eat it. | ||
| You can make houses out of it. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| What else? | ||
| What gets you high and you can make houses out of it? | ||
| Henry Ford made the first fucking car out of it. | ||
| The first fucking car. | ||
| The fenders of the car, the body of the car was made out of hemp. | ||
| That's how much they respected it. | ||
| The whole gateway drug thing is ridiculous too because 95% of all the stoners I know, they don't do heroin or meth. | ||
| They just smoke weed. | ||
| If it was a gateway drug, that'd be a big problem with all my friends with meth and heroin. | ||
| There's not a problem. | ||
| The whole gateway thing is all bullshit. | ||
| They're gonna find a way to stop people from smoking weed. | ||
| And what they're going to do is they're going to mix up that shit from that Parkinson's medication. | ||
| They're going to get it into the weed supply. | ||
| And everybody's going to go gay bomb with the weed. | ||
| You know, with Colorado, you know, you hear, we talked about this about a week ago. | ||
| They had one of the worst economies in the state. | ||
| And now with weed, they have one of the best in the states. | ||
| I mean, that's what I was told. | ||
| I don't know if it's true, but isn't that incredible? | ||
| That doesn't seem like they would. | ||
| Okay, let's look. | ||
| Economic impact. | ||
| In Colorado. | ||
| Unless I was told total bullshit, and it could be... | ||
| That sounds like one of those, dude, they were ready to totally close the state and quit being a state, and then weed came along, and now they're rich. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| No, it wasn't quite like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No? | |
| Okay. | ||
| Of weed in Colorado. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If that's true, isn't that... | ||
| I should write marijuana. | ||
| Isn't that something that would influence other states if it did that, if it completely turned their economy around? | ||
| The real issue is the problem that dummies get to vote. | ||
| That's the real problem. | ||
| The real problem is dummies get to vote, and a lot of dummies have these fundamentalist ideas about it, and they just can't accept the fact that, first of all, you should be able to do whatever the fuck you want to do. | ||
| I'm a grown man, you're a grown man, just because you believe in, you know, whatever, doesn't mean you can stop me from doing what I want to do if it doesn't hurt anybody else. | ||
| So that right away is a problem, because not everybody agrees with that. | ||
| There's a lot of fucking dummies, and those dummies get to vote. | ||
| But how many states have medical marijuana now? | ||
| I believe it's 16 or something like that now. | ||
| They just made Massachusetts, just got through. | ||
| Can you find that out, Brian? | ||
| How many states are medical marijuana? | ||
| Because it was 13, it seemed like eight years ago. | ||
| And now, Brian, you didn't want to do that? | ||
| No. | ||
| The internet's not working on this laptop very well, so I'm trying not to fuck anything up. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I'm using my phone just to look at Twitter right now. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Well, let's assume it's a lot. | ||
| Let's say – I think it's like 16. But the – I think that eventually the Washington states and the Colorados, the two places – 18. 18, wow. | ||
| The two states that made it legal, what's going to be really interesting to see is what happens from here because – If the federal government still decides to fuck with them, they can. | ||
| And that's where it gets really strange. | ||
| So if these people start up legitimate weed stores that are legitimate under their state law, just like liquor stores, pay their taxes and all that shit, does the government come down on them? | ||
| Because they can if they want, and they have before. | ||
| There's a case of a guy from Montana, and he's becoming a big martyr once people found out about it on the internet, because this guy regularly had law enforcement from state law enforcement. | ||
| He invited them on tours of his grow-up. | ||
| He did everything legit. | ||
| Everything by the book. | ||
| Checked, double-checked with everybody. | ||
| Followed the state law to a T. But the government came in and arrested him under federal laws. | ||
| They wouldn't even let him use the term medical marijuana because it doesn't exist federally. | ||
| So this guy's looking at 80 years in prison. | ||
| And this guy did everything correct. | ||
| That's where it gets... | ||
| What state was that? | ||
| Montana. | ||
| That's where it gets really fucking squirrely because, look, When there's a guy who's not hurting anybody and he's giving someone something that should be legal in your area because the people voted on it, if you want to lock that guy up, you're the criminal. | ||
| That's an important point to make in this society. | ||
| Just because someone wrote some shit down on paper and you can interpret it in a way That you decide you could put someone in jail, and if you put someone in jail that's not doing anyone any danger, and you put someone in jail for 80 fucking years for selling happy plants, you're a criminal. | ||
| Like, you're a cultural criminal. | ||
| Like, that's someone who's robbing society. | ||
| That's someone who we have to pay. | ||
| We pay them tax dollars, and they arrest people who aren't hurting anyone. | ||
| You're telling me there wasn't other shit you guys could have done? | ||
| You're telling me those cops that arrested that guy, they couldn't have been, like, busting burglaries or burglaries or arresting murderers or, you know, fucking kicking down the door of a crack house? | ||
| Why the fuck are they going after this guy who keeps having cops and law enforcement and mayors over his property to show them his grow-up because everything's done under state law and paying his taxes? | ||
| Because there's a bunch of criminals in government, man. | ||
| The actual government itself is filled with criminals, and they think that they're allowed to do it because it's written down somewhere. | ||
| It's a federal law. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The federal law against marijuana has been the same since 1935. The federal government does not change its position. | |
| The federal government doesn't change its position. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That is high-larious. | ||
| That is one thing. | ||
| I mean, if there's anything that makes the government out to be whores, it's their stance on marijuana. | ||
| It's one of the biggest whore-like stances. | ||
| Because scientists should have long ago convinced politicians that there's massive benefit to this country if we grow this stuff. | ||
| If we grow it, if we sell it. | ||
| Look, there's cultural benefit. | ||
| There's artistic benefit, and then there's farmers benefiting financially, not just by selling the drug, but by selling the hemp and all this shit. | ||
| But no, that's not the kind of fucking law enforcement we have here. | ||
| Eddie Bravo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They don't think right. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| You're good for about an hour and a half, dude, and then you always do this. | ||
| You just lock down. | ||
| You're a burst of stories, and then you just, like, settle in. | ||
| That's the first wave of the weed. | ||
| No, no, no, I'm good. | ||
| I'm good, man. | ||
| The first wave. | ||
| I agree with you. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| I mean, it's incredible what the information that's coming out with... | ||
| You know, for the last 10 years, we've been talking about all this fishy-ass shit that the government does with 9-11. | ||
| All this fishy-ass shit. | ||
| Did you see the news report where they finally released a video from hotel surveillance? | ||
| It was on the news. | ||
| It's on YouTube. | ||
| Where they show... | ||
| Before they only showed three frames of the explosion at the Pentagon. | ||
| Now they show the whole thing. | ||
| There's an explosion. | ||
| There's no plane. | ||
| What? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| There's a video on YouTube. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| What is it called? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe... | |
| Pentagon Explosion? | ||
| Yeah, just put Pentagon Explosion Video. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| And this is legit? | ||
| I mean, it appears to be legit. | ||
| I... You know what? | ||
| Even if it isn't legit, if it's like a hoax, it's still like the government is like the neighborhood whore. | ||
| If she gets accused of boning your friend Tommy, you're like, you know. | ||
| It's probably happened. | ||
| Even if it didn't happen, she's still a whore. | ||
| Okay, this is the actual hidden footage of... | ||
| No airplane. | ||
| This was October of 2012, so that must be the new shit, right? | ||
| Only 992 views. | ||
| I think it was around for more than a month. | ||
| More than a thousand people would say. | ||
| Maybe there's a bunch of videos. | ||
| Maybe they made copies. | ||
| Okay, let's see what happens here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| Wow, that's hard to tell. | ||
| It looks like... | ||
| First of all, it's way in the distance. | ||
| And it's really blurry as fuck. | ||
| I guess this is like a security camera. | ||
| But it actually does look like someone flies in there. | ||
| It actually does, dude. | ||
| That looks like a fucking... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It looks like a plane fly. | |
| The last... | ||
| Yeah, the last... | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what? | |
| It could be a... | ||
| You know, people are saying it's either a bomb or a missile. | ||
| Yeah, there's actually something like really clear. | ||
| Watch. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Look at this right here. | ||
| There's something really clear that comes in right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Watch. | |
| See that? | ||
| See that white thing? | ||
| And then boom. | ||
| See that? | ||
| That's like a plane. | ||
| There's something right here under this that comes at it and then it hits. | ||
| See that? | ||
| Watch. | ||
| One more time. | ||
| Right here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Back and to the left. | |
| Right there. | ||
| See that? | ||
| Boom. | ||
| It's like you can see something fly into it. | ||
| These people are crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The news reporter, if you listen to the news reporter, actually listen to the audio. | |
| Listen to what they say. | ||
| They say there's no plane. | ||
| They go, look, and guess what? | ||
| There's no plane. | ||
| Yeah, maybe they're retarded. | ||
| Those people that are reading the news, man, they ain't so smart. | ||
| Those fuckers, all they do is they just read off a prompter. | ||
| I've never been impressed with the knowledge of the people that read the news. | ||
| They can all suck it. | ||
| I don't know what happened to the Pentagon, but that shit looked like a plane just hit it. | ||
| But it doesn't mean it wasn't like, also, the big theory is that it was some sort of a remote control plane. | ||
| That they've had remote control planes since the 1960s. | ||
| We know that because they wanted to use them in that Operation Northwoods. | ||
| One of the plans involved using a drone airliner, sending it up in the air and blowing it up and blaming it on the Cubans. | ||
| So if they could do that in the 1960s, if they could blow up a plane back then, they could probably pilot things remote by now. | ||
| And apparently they can. | ||
| And it's been proven that they can. | ||
| They absolutely can. | ||
| They can land them. | ||
| They can take them off. | ||
| They can actually put planes in the air. | ||
| So the crazy conspiracy theory, as far as I was concerned, was that one of the most fascinating ones, they all have a hint of nuttiness, but the most fascinating ones was that there was some sort of a drone. | ||
| And that's how those planes crashed into the buildings. | ||
| And that they couldn't be engineered like... | ||
| Or rather, the people that were flying them probably couldn't have pulled off those maneuvers. | ||
| But that if you had it under remote control, it could work. | ||
| That was what some pilots had speculated. | ||
| Especially like the Pentagon one. | ||
| The Pentagon one, apparently, pilots really trip out about. | ||
| Because they've done these simulations and no one's been able to recreate it in a simulation. | ||
| They have a simulation machine. | ||
| It shows exactly the path that the plane took when it hit the Pentagon, and these pilots can't even do it. | ||
| It's really hard to do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's so low, and the ground's there, and you've got to time it so perfectly. | ||
| It's interesting, man. | ||
| I don't think I've seen a video where a pilot was able to recreate it. | ||
| I've only seen failures, but that doesn't mean that people haven't done it. | ||
| It just means I haven't seen it. | ||
| That's possible. | ||
| I wouldn't put it past any nefarious organization, domestic or foreign, that they could... | ||
| Look, if anybody's willing to fly planes into buildings, are they? | ||
| Yes, clearly. | ||
| We saw it happen. | ||
| Somehow or another, that was somebody's idea. | ||
| Those planes that flew into those buildings, they didn't just fly in on their own. | ||
| For sure, somebody piloted planes into the building. | ||
| Why would we think that they wouldn't do it remotely? | ||
| Why would they, you know, are we really truly convinced that people piloted them themselves? | ||
| I think it's really tough to be sure that someone's going to fly a plane into a fucking building. | ||
| It's really tough to be sure. | ||
| You can hope they do it, but it's better to be safe. | ||
| And the way to safe is get them to do it, tell them they're going to do it, And just wire the whole thing up. | ||
| We'll do it ourselves. | ||
| So in case they chicken out, you might chicken out, man. | ||
| You might, like, fucking, one more pass, one more pass. | ||
| I'm going to go around again. | ||
| I'm going to go around again. | ||
| Keep those passengers out of here. | ||
| Like, you might get close and then pull up, pull up! | ||
| You know that crazy guy, John Lear? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He's, like, one of the craziest dudes ever. | ||
| He's hilarious, though, the shit he says. | ||
| He'll say the craziest shit. | ||
| And I heard his take on that. | ||
| And he said, you know, he's a CIA pilot. | ||
| He said, and you know he's the craziest motherfucker out there. | ||
| He's probably a disinfo agent. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| If anybody was one, that dude would be a CIA show. | ||
| Was he like a billionaire or something like that? | ||
| His dad owned Lear Jets. | ||
| As far as him being a pilot for the CIA and being a highly decorated pilot, he's got records and shit. | ||
| That's all true. | ||
| But he says crazy, crazy shit. | ||
| He says that there's no way... | ||
| That someone could have hit that tower without practicing. | ||
| Because you're going so fast that you would have to take a couple rounds and time. | ||
| He said you'd have to look at a building and go, well, when that building hits, I have to be right here. | ||
| And it takes a couple passes to nail a building because you're going so fast. | ||
| That's what he said, but he could be full of shit. | ||
| I don't know anything about being a pilot, but that's what he said. | ||
| Yeah, I don't imagine that they would leave it to chance. | ||
| If they do have remote-controlled things that they could put on airlines, I would imagine they would just do that. | ||
| That would be the way to do it. | ||
| Like the latest shit coming out on... | ||
| The conspiracy theory has been, look at all this fishy shit. | ||
| Now the latest shit is... | ||
| Like what companies and securities companies and brokerage and tying it into the collapse of Russia, when Russia was collapsing, all these shady ass people high up, I don't know what you want to call them, were buying up all this Russian shit and laundering it through securities, | ||
| like $250 billion of securities, like they were just snatching, they made a cash grab in Russia, but it was all illegal laundering shit and every 10 years, Every 10 years, like that was in 1991, so 2001 was the year that they had a review, you know, it takes 10 years to review and make sure everything, all the securities, to make sure they're all legit and all that shit. | ||
| I really don't know how it runs, but they're tying it into, they had to blow up the security brokerages on the building because they were going to check and they were going to find out like George W. Bush's dad, What is he, George Herbert Bush or whatever? | ||
| It was all CIA, international banker shit, and it all ties into the collapse of Russia. | ||
| This is why weed is illegal, these kind of conversations. | ||
| Because when you smoke weed, you go, dude, it was all tied in, man. | ||
| It's crazy shit. | ||
| Who knows what's real or not, but it seems like they're tying it all together now. | ||
| The craziest one, and I try to be as open-minded as I can with these things, but if you don't admit that this one's nuts, I think you're crazy. | ||
| And that's the Donald Rumsfeld one. | ||
| When Donald Rumsfeld came on television on September 10th and told everybody that there's this real issue With missing money. | ||
| It's trillions of dollars. | ||
| But they're going to get to the bottom of it. | ||
| $220 trillion. | ||
| $230 trillion or something. | ||
| Who knows what the number was. | ||
| Even if it was $100 trillion. | ||
| It was $1 trillion. | ||
| That's a lot of money. | ||
| But the very area where they were working on this, the accounting offices, was hit by the plane. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And this is on YouTube. | ||
| Rumsfeld making that... | ||
| It's on YouTube. | ||
| Donald's Rumsfeld saying that You know what? | ||
| The real enemy is here, here in our country, and we're going to get to the bottom of this. | ||
| Apparently there's $213 trillion missing. | ||
| Whatever the fuck the money, the number was that the idea is. | ||
| And we're going to get to the bottom of it. | ||
| The enemy is here in the Pentagon. | ||
| Next day, they blow up the accounting office. | ||
| And apparently the naval intelligence, they were on to what was going on, this covert laundering scheme through securities. | ||
| Most of the people that died in the Pentagon were all the accountants and all the high-ups in the naval intelligence. | ||
| Because naval intelligence was actually looking into these securities and these Russians. | ||
| So they had a blow. | ||
| And the naval intelligence, of course, was Tower 7. One of the craziest things is that the government investigates the government. | ||
| This whole thing with this General Petraeus. | ||
| Do you know how this happened? | ||
| The guy got busted having an affair and he had to resign. | ||
| It's because the FBI was investigating the CIA. Like, they investigate each other. | ||
| The FBI listened to a complaint by this woman. | ||
| She calls the FBI and says this other woman is sending her harassing letters. | ||
| And so they read the letters and then they go back and forth. | ||
| The whole thing is hilarious. | ||
| The government was spying on the government. | ||
| So these motherfuckers, it's so addictive to them to spy on people and bust people and pull information. | ||
| Apparently the CIA don't like the FBI and the DEA. Isn't that crazy? | ||
| And the CIA, they're separated. | ||
| Wow, it's crazy. | ||
| Well, then there's the NSA. You know, that's where it gets really squirrely. | ||
| Like, what is that? | ||
| What's going on there? | ||
| There's so many of these fucking things. | ||
| And this is some shit that Kennedy was scared of in the 1960s. | ||
| Kennedy was saying in the 1960s, we have a shadow government. | ||
| You know, it was like, when he got into office, I bet it was like, what the fuck? | ||
| Big, crazy-ass shadow government running things. | ||
| And then you get a guy like Obama in place, it's like this is our last hope. | ||
| A rational, sensible guy that looks like us, that seems like us. | ||
| That was a great trick. | ||
| That was a good one. | ||
| I wonder if that's what it is, or if he just really doesn't have the power. | ||
| That's it though. | ||
| No, that is the trick. | ||
| The trick is he has no power. | ||
| He's trying as much as he can to sort of slowly turn the tide, but that the people that are in positions of power, they've done it this way for so long. | ||
| That's what's really fucked up about it, the idea that these guys got away with it like this. | ||
| You know what's crazy is Tower 6, there's Tower 1, Tower 2, Tower 7. Tower 1, 2, and 7, they implode and they fall at free-fall speed. | ||
| Tower 6 and Tower 4 just had massive bomb explosions and debris falling on them, but bombs exploded. | ||
| They did? | ||
| Bombs exploded? | ||
| Bombs exploded in Tower 6. I never heard this. | ||
| Man, there's so much. | ||
| Bombs in Tower 6? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You've got to be careful, though, because people make shit up. | ||
| I haven't heard anything about bombs. | ||
| Go to 911 Conspiracy. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| I'm not going to go to that. | ||
| Go to 911 Conspiracy. | ||
| They're not going to get me. | ||
| I'm not doing it. | ||
| I don't have the time. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| You don't think a bomb went off in Tower 6? | ||
| I didn't hear about it. | ||
| What if it did though? | ||
| Let's just say, what if it did? | ||
| And this is the story. | ||
| A bomb went off in Tower... | ||
| There's pictures and video. | ||
| How could that be crazy when you're bashing the government all the time, but then a bomb goes off in Tower 6? | ||
| How is that funny? | ||
| I think that there is, especially amongst people on the internet, there is a very real desire to uncover hidden secrets. | ||
| And sometimes it gets so far that they reach. | ||
| Dude, bombs went off everywhere. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I believe it's possible. | ||
| I've seen the testimony. | ||
| Well, I think there was also explosions, and there might not have been bombs because there were so many fires. | ||
| I mean, that was one of the excuses they used for Tower 7. The only one that makes sense is that there was diesel fires because they had diesel generators, and apparently they had just a fuckload of diesel, and that shit caught on fire. | ||
| If that was the case, I could see it, like, gutting the place with some crazy fire and maybe it falls down. | ||
| I just... | ||
| Look, I'm not bright enough. | ||
| But wouldn't it be weird, though, if it was true? | ||
| You're saying maybe it is, maybe it isn't. | ||
| You're not saying definitely it isn't because, you know, you wouldn't say that. | ||
| So maybe. | ||
| Let's just say a bomb did go off and there's picture and video of a... | ||
| It looks like the Oklahoma City bombing that building. | ||
| And the office that was bombed was the El Dorado Task Force, which investigates... | ||
| All these securities and money laundering and all that shit. | ||
| They were investigating the whole Russian collapse. | ||
| There was a lot of shit. | ||
| It was a covert economic operation. | ||
| And it was being investigated. | ||
| How many people would have to be involved in something like that? | ||
| And they blew that office up that was investigated. | ||
| That office in Tower 6. It wasn't even Tower 1. A bomb goes off in Tower 6. It was that office. | ||
| They just blew it up. | ||
| How many people do you think would have to be involved in something like that? | ||
| And how would they... | ||
| How would they do this? | ||
| Would they do it through emails? | ||
| According to this theory, okay, according to this theory, I don't know what's true or not. | ||
| I'm just reading these theories. | ||
| According to this theory, it was all about they had to get rid of these brokerages and the people, Naval Intelligence and the El Dorado Task Force because they were about to investigate at the 10-year, because they're 10-year securities. | ||
| Whatever that means. | ||
| They're like bonds or something or CDs or something worth over $240 million. | ||
| That's what the investigation was about. | ||
| They finally were going to... | ||
| AIG is... | ||
| Supposedly, according to this theory, AIG, that insurance company, they're more than just insurance. | ||
| They're involved in all... | ||
| They got CIA ties and all this crazy shit. | ||
| They had to cover it up. | ||
| This is according to this theory. | ||
| They needed to blow all that shit up so those transactions could slide through during the chaos and they wouldn't... | ||
| Because the Federal Reserve at 9-1-1 They took emergency power. | ||
| So that day, they took emergency power so they could do whatever they want. | ||
| The Security and Exchange Commission, they had an emergency procedure that they've never done before, which meant that we got a lot of chaos here. | ||
| Let's just run all these securities without checking them and just run these through. | ||
| Bam! | ||
| That's what they did. | ||
| So that's a theory. | ||
| Who knows if it's true. | ||
| It sounds pretty fucking crazy. | ||
| I don't know if they did that, so I think speculating about it is silly. | ||
| But what I do know is that a lot of people banked on those airlines fucking up. | ||
| And they sold a lot of their shares like they knew some things were going on. | ||
| Huge, significant numbers on American Airlines. | ||
| They shorted their stocks. | ||
| That alone is really squirrely. | ||
| Like, what the fuck? | ||
| That alone, if it is true, and apparently it is, I feel like that should be a big point of investigation. | ||
| And if it is true, and I've seen it reported in multiple supposedly valid websites that deal with the news, if that is true, like, there's just the fact that that hasn't been investigated makes you just go, how many people can be involved in it? | ||
| If we really have a really crazy sort of a... | ||
| Fake democracy and they're just stealing and engineering shit and blowing shit up on occasion. | ||
| How many people have to be involved? | ||
| And how come nobody wants to rat them out? | ||
| How come nobody wants to make the ultimate book from the shadows? | ||
| And they're going right to Afghanistan, taking all the heroin. | ||
| Come on, they're gangsters, dude. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Everyone just accepts it. | ||
| What's so amazing it feels fake, but I think that part of the thing is that they did it this way for so long That that became how you did things. | ||
| And then when the internet came along, and all of a sudden people would go, wait a minute, what the fuck are they doing? | ||
| They can do that? | ||
| And they can do this? | ||
| Like, who would have found out about the National Defense Authorization Act and the indefinite detention of American civilians without right to trial? | ||
| Who would have found out about that if it wasn't for the internet? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| You wouldn't have found out from CNN. You don't even find out about it from CNN.com. | ||
| When people say, oh, where do you get your... | ||
| Information. | ||
| The internet? | ||
| Like, where do you go? | ||
| Fucking libraries? | ||
| Where else are you gonna go? | ||
| You're gonna go to the library? | ||
| You're fucking twelve, you're going to the library? | ||
| You go on your computer, dumbass. | ||
| Everyone gets their information from the internet. | ||
| Well, that's where it gets really weird, though, because you gotta make sure that you really trust your sources. | ||
| So there's like, there's some sources that, you know, like, man. | ||
| In England, they have the Daily Mail. | ||
| Those motherfuckers will write anything. | ||
| You get an article and it's from the Daily Mail. | ||
| You got to go, oh, wait a minute. | ||
| The Daily Mail. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| It might be real, but it might be bullshit. | ||
| Listen to Amber Lyons. | ||
| We have proof through Amber Lyons. | ||
| We have proof that everything we see on CNN, you got to question it. | ||
| You got to question everything. | ||
| You can't ever trust the government. | ||
| Well, it's a business, man. | ||
| They're running a show. | ||
| Those news shows, they check them for ratings. | ||
| They want to make sure that people are tuning in. | ||
| And if they're not tuning in, they'll replace a girl and move a guy and do this or do that. | ||
| But according to Amber Lyons, it's more than that. | ||
| It's not just about ratings. | ||
| It's about there's certain shit they can't fucking say. | ||
| Well, I'm saying it's a business. | ||
| And if you're in the business of news, there's only one way you get access to that news. | ||
| You have to be able to go to countries. | ||
| You have to be able to do... | ||
| As soon as you piss those people off, you can't get in there anymore. | ||
| You're done. | ||
| You're removed from this. | ||
| Oh, you can't go to Congress anymore. | ||
| There's people to this day, I'm sure, that have websites or people that want to get press passes for certain things. | ||
| They want to be able to get into areas where the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal get to you. | ||
| And they can't get in. | ||
| Just because you have a website that has a million hits a day doesn't mean that they're going to let you in. | ||
| You can't lob questions at the president. | ||
| Just because you have a big antenna. | ||
| But it really should be that way. | ||
| I mean, if a guy has a big antenna, that means Perez Hilton should be able to ask the president questions. | ||
| I mean, why not? | ||
| Perez Hilton's got millions of fucking hits every day. | ||
| Why not him? | ||
| I mean, I feel like he would have probably questions more along the lines of how I would think than a lot of these fucking weirdos that you see that get elected to Congress and get elected to the Senate. | ||
| Like that dude that was trying to be president. | ||
| Paul Ryan, the dude who was running for vice president. | ||
| That silly bitch. | ||
| Did you pay attention to him at all? | ||
| I didn't pay attention to him at all. | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| The Mitt Romney guy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, his running mate, first of all, he lied about how fast he could run a marathon. | ||
| Like he said, he ran a marathon, like a three-hour plus, sub-four-hour marathon, which apparently is world-class. | ||
| You have to be a serious fucking athlete to be able to run a marathon under four hours. | ||
| And then he changed it afterwards. | ||
| It was like six hours or whatever. | ||
| They probably picked him because he was terrible. | ||
| What was his name? | ||
| Paul Ryan? | ||
| Well, he's a good speaker. | ||
| He's a good speaker, and he was pretty charismatic. | ||
| The real problem is under the really bright lights he folded. | ||
| Under the really bright lights, he just bullshitted a little too much, got a little too cocky, some shit that he could have said in Idaho. | ||
| He got away with it on the local news. | ||
| You really can't get away with that shit when it's on Fox News and everybody can research what the fuck you say. | ||
| Whoever put him in that position... | ||
| They knew that about him. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| I wish they had no one else to do it. | ||
| When John McCain – I think the world is run by corporations and Wall Street and all that. | ||
| They have all the goddamn power. | ||
| They're fucking – Yeah, but I mean when you're trying to get a guy like Paul Ryan into position, they do it because it seems like it would work. | ||
| He's going to listen to us. | ||
| He's going to play ball, and it will work. | ||
| I mean that's – But to me, I'm just throwing this out there. | ||
| Who the fuck knows? | ||
| So you're looking for a conspiracy in the conspiracy. | ||
| Yeah, I'm thinking, like, with John McCain and Sarah Palin, John McCain and Sarah Palin, it's like, get mother... | ||
| There's no way that dude who's about to die is going to become president and then we put a crazy bitch as vice president. | ||
| It almost seems like we need Obama to win, to handle all this shit. | ||
| Hook us all up. | ||
| That's one way of looking at it. | ||
| This is the way I look at it. | ||
| I think that in order to get to any position of power... | ||
| Whether you're a senator or congressman. | ||
| By the time you get there, you got so many motherfucking skeletons in your closet that you're like Teddy Kennedy. | ||
| Never could really run for president after you drown that girl. | ||
| And there's a lot of shit that these dudes do. | ||
| So it's hard to find a guy who's pretty clean. | ||
| And Paul Ryan, pretty clean. | ||
| Seems like a nice family man. | ||
| Says a lot of shit about taking personal responsibility. | ||
| Toes the Republican line. | ||
| Look, the guy looks fit. | ||
| He looks like a man's man. | ||
| Have you done marathons, Paul? | ||
| I did a marathon in under four hours. | ||
| He did a marathon in under four hours. | ||
| He's our guy! | ||
| And then they get in there and they find out the guy's a bullshitter. | ||
| I think it's more likely that. | ||
| But I do agree that in order to get to that position, They gotta think that they can do something with you. | ||
| They gotta think that you're gonna be able to play ball with them. | ||
| And a girl like Sarah Palin, they went with her because they were desperate. | ||
| There was no one else. | ||
| They didn't know what the fuck they were doing, man. | ||
| They were trying to figure out some way to reach women voters. | ||
| And one of the best ways is to have a strong woman that represents women. | ||
| And, you know, she represented the strongest aspects of, like, a frontiers woman. | ||
| Bitch lives in Alaska, okay? | ||
| She's got big old titties and a gun. | ||
| Like, they thought women were gonna go bananas for that. | ||
| That women were gonna go, yes, and that would be enough to push them over the top. | ||
| They would get all the women votes. | ||
| The same way Obama got a lot of the black vote. | ||
| Like, a lot of people were like, there's no way I'm not voting against Obama. | ||
| And people got mad, black people got mad at other black people that were gonna vote for McCain. | ||
| You never saw anybody that was black that had a fucking Paul Ryan shirt on. | ||
| No one had a Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan shirt on that was by. | ||
| There may be a few dudes that just wanted attention, but if they really thought it through, there's no way they would have done that. | ||
| It just seems like a big show to me. | ||
| It seems like a reality show. | ||
| Oh, it's definitely a big show. | ||
| Like, almost scripted. | ||
| Well, it's a big show. | ||
| You know that because they don't have any more than two candidates. | ||
| They used to let extra candidates in. | ||
| The last time they did that was with Ross Perot. | ||
| He was the last independent. | ||
| And that guy fucked everything up, man. | ||
| Because he got his own television show. | ||
| He took over NBC. Like, during prime time, he bought the time. | ||
| And he went on and told everybody how you're getting fucked. | ||
| Told everybody what the federal bank is, and told everybody where taxes go, and told everybody this insurmountable debt, and this is how you've been set up. | ||
| And he did it on television. | ||
| And because of the fact that he had so much money, that he could get away with doing shit that traditionally only the Democrats and Republicans could do. | ||
| But all of a sudden there's this independent that's like stealing, you know, 20-30% of the vote. | ||
| And it fucked up the whole thing. | ||
| And that's how Bill Clinton became president. | ||
| Because they were like... | ||
| And there you go. | ||
| That guy, he ruined everything. | ||
| So then the Commission for Presidential Debates, they changed what it takes to be able to compete at the highest levels. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| You couldn't, you know, they'll let a lot of kooks, like when you have like Republicans, you have like 10 Republicans... | ||
| They'll let the Herman Cains in, that they know Herman Cain, like that dude fucks everything. | ||
| He's got like 50 bitches on the side. | ||
| He just couldn't keep them from bubbling out under the woodwork. | ||
| The black guy? | ||
| The guy who ran the pizza company. | ||
| Did you see all the different women that came out that said he was banging them? | ||
| No. | ||
| Well, you can't do that and run for president. | ||
| You can do that and run a pizza company. | ||
| He totally did it and pulled it off. | ||
| But they know certain shit like that. | ||
| They know guys are not going to get that far. | ||
| It's a little song and dance. | ||
| Until they get down to the main guy. | ||
| And there was a couple of main guys. | ||
| And the big main guy was this Mitt Romney character. | ||
| It's always going to happen this way. | ||
| And all the people that are in place behind the scenes, they all watch it all play out. | ||
| But it doesn't matter who wins. | ||
| The same people are paying those people. | ||
| Socially, I think we're better off with a guy like Obama. | ||
| I think he gives people hope. | ||
| He's a young black guy from a single mom. | ||
| That makes people feel better. | ||
| It makes people believe that, hey, You know, maybe that racism shit is kind of in the past, and maybe, you know, look, man, if racism didn't stop a black man from being president, like, it's surmountable. | ||
| You can overcome this. | ||
| Like, this is a good example for the culture. | ||
| The real problem is the dude does a lot of the same shit that Bush did. | ||
| That's the real problem. | ||
| We thought we were gonna get this dude who's like us, but they're still using drones. | ||
| They still got Guantanamo Bay. | ||
| Trying to take our guns. | ||
| That shit is ridiculous. | ||
| All that shit is ridiculous. | ||
| All that clamping down on rights and going out. | ||
| That's not a problem. | ||
| Put your finger in the air. | ||
| Do you see revolution? | ||
| Do you see problems in the streets? | ||
| Do you see rampant violence everywhere and our children are unsafe? | ||
| No! | ||
| That's not what's happening. | ||
| There's not massive terrorist attacks on America. | ||
| Why do you need to, like, look at people's email? | ||
| Like, why do you need to store every phone call that's ever made? | ||
| Like, no. | ||
| Don't assume that everyone's fucking criminal. | ||
| Because in reality, most people are pretty fucking cool. | ||
| The vast majority of people are pretty fucking cool. | ||
| And for you to ruin that shit and take it away and take all the fun away out of life just because there's a certain... | ||
| Unavoidable percentage of douchebags in the world. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| Knowing all the fucked up shit the government's been... | ||
| People high in the government. | ||
| I'm not talking about your average congressman or anything, but the people that are really running shit, knowing all the fucked up shit they've done, all the JFK stuff and all that... | ||
| Golf of Tonkin. | ||
| What do you think... | ||
| The liberties that they're taking from us on a daily basis, you think that's part of a plan? | ||
| It just seems they're so aggressive with it. | ||
| I think they worry about any sort of an uprising and the best way to keep any sort of an uprising from coming to fruition is to nip it in the bud. | ||
| And when you're in a position of power, especially it's an undeserved position of power, if it turns out that you're using your money to influence politicians and you're manipulating the system in order to gain an advantage so that it helps your business, And all that stuff is exposed. | ||
| Well, that should be a crime. | ||
| That should be way worse than insider trading. | ||
| But meanwhile, it's standard operational procedure. | ||
| And when there's any sort of a threat to that, they're gonna try to stop that threat in advance. | ||
| And one of the best ways to stop that threat in advance is fear. | ||
| Make people scared to speak out. | ||
| Make people scared to act. | ||
| And one of the best ways to make people scared It's to give yourself godlike powers. | ||
| Give yourself the ability to just, I can take this person and lock them in that cage and never let them out, ever. | ||
| And that's what the NDAA says. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Because even Hitler would have got a trial, okay? | ||
| If we had captured Hitler and supposedly no soldier had gone crazy and shot him in the head, which is probably unlikely. | ||
| They probably would have shot him, just like they did Gaddafi, right? | ||
| But if we did capture him, they would have given Hitler a trial. | ||
| And what they're saying is you, this average person that they decide to detain, they can choose to use tactics on you that they wouldn't have used on Hitler. | ||
| They can choose to just lock you up indefinitely and not give you access to lawyers. | ||
| That's not good for anybody. | ||
| And that's not American. | ||
| That's not what we're supposed to be about. | ||
| And you can't have that kind of power. | ||
| And that's exactly what's happening in Egypt right now. | ||
| You know, they let this new dude in in Egypt. | ||
| And now 200,000 people are rallying in the streets trying to get this guy to get out of office because he changed the laws. | ||
| He made it so you can't arrest him. | ||
| He can't be tried for anything. | ||
| He just turned himself into a god. | ||
| He just got in there and then they went, fuck you. | ||
| We've already been through this shit. | ||
| No, you can't do that. | ||
| They all get to the point of governing and I think the possibility of being overthrown by some completely new organization is terrifying for them. | ||
| What if the Green Party all of a sudden took off in this country? | ||
| And what if it was like the Green Party became the number one party in the country? | ||
| Look how many people go to Whole Foods. | ||
| Look how many people want to recycle. | ||
| What if that shit spreads? | ||
| What if it spreads and all of a sudden the Green Party becomes the prominent party in this country? | ||
| When we realize that we're poisoning our food and poisoning our water and poisoning the ocean. | ||
| Killing all the fish. | ||
| If they ever did get to that position, that would be a terrible loss of power for the Republicans, the Democrats, and all the corporations that support them. | ||
| If the public's opinion changed and people really did get behind a party that was independent and not reliant whatsoever, On corporations, that would be fucking terrifying to the powers that be. | ||
| Instead of going around making billions and billions of dollars a year, traveling around in fat yachts, you know, banging supermodels and then cutting their heads off, instead of doing that, you would make nothing. | ||
| You wouldn't be in power anymore. | ||
| Your corporations would have to stand up on the merit of the products that they sell, not on your ability to change laws so that you can make products cheaper and in the meantime ruin the earth. | ||
| And that's a terrifying thing for those fuckheads. | ||
| So what they try to do is take away your rights. | ||
| Take away your right to express yourself. | ||
| Be able to come in and shut down your website at any point in time. | ||
| No file sharing. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck you're saying. | ||
| No, no, no, I gotta look at that shit. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| I gotta be able to look at everybody's email at any time. | ||
| This is a matter of national security. | ||
| We are the government. | ||
| This is the Homeland Security Department of Security of the mothers and the children of this country. | ||
| And I have to look at a few emails. | ||
|
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I'm gonna do it, goddammit! | |
| And that's where we find ourselves. | ||
| We find ourselves in this ridiculous position where we're clearly being run by fuckheads. | ||
| How realistic is Texas from actually seceding from the nation? | ||
| It's not gonna happen. | ||
| There's no way it'll happen, right? | ||
| No, it's not gonna happen. | ||
| But meanwhile, Texas doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| Texas, supposedly constitutionally being one of the few countries or cities or states that can, because I think technically they view themselves as a republic. | ||
| I think maybe other states do as well, but from what I understood, the way the Texas state declaration or whatever the fuck their constitution is, whatever the fuck that states have that defines themselves, They define themselves slightly different than most states. | ||
| And they believe that they're their own sort of situation. | ||
| You know, all that shit came from Mexico. | ||
| Texas was Mexico. | ||
| California was Mexico. | ||
| I mean, that wasn't that long ago. | ||
| Everybody sort of kind of forgot about that. | ||
| That shit was not that long ago. | ||
| Mexico was like... | ||
| There was like giant chunks of America that was Mexico. | ||
| And we're like, not anymore. | ||
| Nope. | ||
|
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Nope. | |
| And so Texas became this weird sort of spot, man. | ||
| Well, is Texas legal with medical marijuana? | ||
| Nay, I say. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| That'll never happen, right? | ||
| Austin's not strong enough? | ||
| No. | ||
| Austin is probably the best place, like socially and liberally and intellectually. | ||
| It's one of the best places in the country. | ||
| And it's the best place in Texas for free thinkers, open-minded people, well-read people, people that are hip, people that are tuned in to what the fuck is going on in the world. | ||
| But they're surrounded by silly people. | ||
| There's people all around the middle of Texas and crazy places. | ||
| There's a lot of churches and people are nutty and they're doing exorcisms. | ||
| It's like a... | ||
| Texas is a mix, you know, it's a mix of really cool, like Houston's really cool, Dallas is really cool, it's a mix of like a lot of really cool spots, and these spots, when you drive to the really cool spots, and you go through hours and hours of these backwoodsy-type towns, and you're like, whoa, whoa, what if you were born here? | ||
| What if you were born there, and Eddie Bravo had to grow up there? | ||
| Like, oh my god, like there's a lot of spots that suck, and the problem is, those people get to vote too. | ||
| So shit like medical marijuana does not pass. | ||
| And the reason why it doesn't pass is that civilization hasn't spread through the entire state. | ||
|
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They've tried? | |
| It's only in small pockets of books. | ||
| Have they tried in Texas? | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| Have they? | ||
| I'm sure they've tried. | ||
| I'm sure someone's put them, forgive me if I'm wrong, but I'm sure someone's tried to come up with some sort of legislation. | ||
| But it's never been like officially on the ballot. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But I know that it just lost in Oregon, which was pretty surprising. | ||
| But sometimes it's the way the language is written on the law. | ||
| Sometimes they get stupid with the language. | ||
| And you can fuck 16-year-olds. | ||
| They throw something in there. | ||
| And it would be awesome! | ||
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And then the government pays for hostess to come back! | |
| I don't know what the language of the law was, but I would have thought Oregon, being Portland and all that, Portland is pretty fucking hip. | ||
| That's one of the spots I would live. | ||
| I would live in Portland. | ||
| If I had to, for some reason, get out of California, Portland's a good spot. | ||
| Very cool people up there. | ||
| Rain's a lot, though. | ||
| Rain's like a motherfucker. | ||
| He drove salami back. | ||
| Back to L.A.? Oh, yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| He's been back for maybe four months. | ||
| That motherfucker. | ||
| And when I see him, I'm going to shake him like a bad baby. | ||
| Because when I talked to him up there, I was like, what's it like? | ||
| Are you digging it? | ||
| He goes, yeah, man, it's awesome. | ||
| I go, does it rain everybody? | ||
| He goes, nah, not at all. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| He goes, it's just so cool up here, it doesn't bother me. | ||
| I got to him eventually. | ||
| That motherfucker. | ||
| I got to him. | ||
| See, is that a chemical thing? | ||
| Do we need that chemical from the sun in order to feel happy? | ||
| I've never lived in a place where it rained all the time. | ||
| Have you done that? | ||
| No. | ||
| You're in Southern California your whole life. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think there's a gray that happens in Boston for a few months during the winter that dulls the happiness of the people. | ||
| And it's palpable. | ||
| You can sense that shit in the air. | ||
| When the gray is there, the gray of the January gray. | ||
| Occasionally you get a nice sunny day, like, wow, beautiful day today. | ||
| Step outside, it's three fucking degrees. | ||
| That shit wears away at you, man. | ||
| Salami made up a good story, and I was wondering about that, man, because people will always bullshit you about that. | ||
| They'll never tell you. | ||
| Like, what's it like up here, man? | ||
| You like it? | ||
| Well, I like it a little, but man, I get depressed as fuck in the winter. | ||
| And I'm thinking, I don't know, maybe this is a bad idea. | ||
| No, no, no! | ||
| It's awesome! | ||
| I love it! | ||
| It's the best choice! | ||
| I made the best choice, man. | ||
| I'm so happy. | ||
| You should move up here, too. | ||
| Those motherfuckers would try to convince you into moving up there. | ||
| And then when you move up there, they go, man, I'm just getting depressed in the winter. | ||
| I don't know what to do. | ||
| Thinking about going back to Arizona. | ||
|
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What? | |
| Did his testimony... | ||
| Yes, it influenced me. | ||
| Oh, it did? | ||
| Yeah, son of a bitch. | ||
| He didn't even make it. | ||
| He had a school up there, right? | ||
| Was he running a 10th planet? | ||
| Does he have his black belt now? | ||
| He has a black belt in the gi. | ||
| Does he really? | ||
|
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Under him? | |
| Yeah, Joe Marara. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Salami's such a good dude. | ||
| Always a friendly guy, man. | ||
| Even if he's a lying motherfucker about the climate. | ||
| Maybe he liked it initially and then it just wore down on him. | ||
| I think especially if you live in California, it would be really hard to go to a place that rained all the time. | ||
| I like the rain sometimes. | ||
| Well, the one thing that it's amazing for is the vegetation. | ||
| God, there are forests out there. | ||
| When you go, have you ever been on a hike through the Pacific rainforest? | ||
| No. | ||
| You ever been walked around? | ||
| You ever go to the Redwood Forest? | ||
| You ever do that? | ||
| Maybe as a child. | ||
| You gotta do that. | ||
| Been up to Sequoia. | ||
| Is that the same thing? | ||
| Redwood, Sequoia? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think Sequoia is a different thing. | ||
| But they're huge too, right? | ||
| Isn't that the idea? | ||
| Yeah, as a kid. | ||
| But those forests, man. | ||
| Those crazy rainforests in Washington State where it rains constantly. | ||
| Dude, that's a different feeling when you're walking through that kind of life. | ||
| Like there's so much vegetation life around you that as you're like, you're in that, there's like this bright green forest, you kind of understand where all the old myths of like fairies and elves and wood sprites appearing because as you're walking, there's so much energy in the air that you're almost thinking someone's watching you. | ||
| You're almost looking at trees and shit and thinking they're peering at you and looking back at you. | ||
| Because you're feeling, you're sensing that there's other life there. | ||
| You're sensing it because there's this incredible wealth of vegetation because it fucking rains every day. | ||
|
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The grass is glowing green. | |
| I mean, the grass in Oregon is like neon green. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| Like, just looking at the grass is like, wow! | ||
| I never fucking saw grass like that in Studio City. | ||
| That grass is dry and gray and all fucked up and brown. | ||
| That Portland grass is alive. | ||
| And if you walk into those woods, man, there's something about those dense rainforests that give off this weird sort of feeling. | ||
| There's a strange silence, and you hear animals, but it's a weird sound because there's so much vegetation that it's like being in a room that's stuffed with things. | ||
| Sound doesn't travel the same way. | ||
| It's not like being in a place where you're on top of a hill and you overlook canyons. | ||
| No. | ||
| You're walking through this dense thing that feels like you're inside of a living thing. | ||
| And it is! | ||
| That rainforest is like a living thing. | ||
| In fact, the Pacific rainforest has the biggest single organism on the face of the earth. | ||
| There's a mushroom colony in the Pacific Northwest. | ||
| That's so enormous. | ||
| It's bigger than like X amount of blue whales. | ||
| It's huge. | ||
| And it's this connection. | ||
| Like almost like a neural connection. | ||
| Underneath the way it's worked in the ground in this entire area. | ||
| It's a shitload of mushrooms. | ||
| But it's one giant organism. | ||
| Here, I better Google this because it's very hard to describe. | ||
| It's like a giant mushroom. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do people take bites out of it? | ||
| No, but there's a fuckload of mushrooms up there, man. | ||
| Did you hear about those people that died in LA or California recently? | ||
| A bunch of people are dying from eating poisonous mushrooms. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of people that try to go hunting for edible mushrooms. | ||
| It's like a hobby with a lot of people because you can find some delicious mushrooms in the wild. | ||
| Not to get high, just to eat. | ||
| No, just to eat. |
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