Nov. 27, 2012 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:23:08
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Ladies and gentlemen, this is unsuspecting. | ||
| This is unsuspecting? | ||
| Unexpected is the word I was looking for. | ||
| I was searching. | ||
| I'm not good when I get up before noon, dude. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It doesn't work for me. | ||
| I ZMA'd, too. | ||
| Did you ZMA? Yes. | ||
| It helps you sleep, right? | ||
| Yeah, but it makes it kind of groggy for the first hour or so. | ||
|
unidentified
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Really? | |
| So I'm pretty groggy. | ||
| It gives me hard morning boners. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I find that it really increases my morning wood. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is sneaking up on bitches. | ||
| See, I'm looking right now. | ||
| There's hundreds of people that are alive. | ||
| How the fuck did they know? | ||
| There's cunts. | ||
| I'm not calling you cunts. | ||
| I love you guys. | ||
| They're ninjas. | ||
| I love you, but you're ninjas. | ||
| You fucking snuck in. | ||
| All 277 of you. | ||
| We didn't tell anybody what time we were doing. | ||
| Maybe I told, maybe I said like 1230 and some people just kept their browsers open. | ||
|
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Did you? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm sneaky like that! | ||
| Yesterday was a big blur. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yesterday Brian put together all the equipment. | ||
| We had all, well, let's just fucking do the commercial real quick. | ||
| The Jerrogan Experience podcast is sponsored by, this episode at least, is sponsored by audible.com. | ||
| And Audible has a really fucking badass new application called Audible... | ||
| I believe it's called Audible Whisper Sync. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, Whisper... | ||
| I don't get it. | ||
| Explain that to me. | ||
|
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It's beautiful. | |
| The idea is with... | ||
| And they sent me one of those Kindle fires, which I've yet to fire up. | ||
| I have the regular Kindle, the one that looks like paper. | ||
| It's really pretty cool. | ||
| I got a new one. | ||
| I actually have two. | ||
| I have three of them now. | ||
| Because I have the paper one... | ||
| But they sent me the Fire HD, which works on Amazon. | ||
| It allows you to get movies. | ||
| The application that Audible has that's native to it, or that's built in rather, comes with the Kindle Fire. | ||
| It's really amazing. | ||
| What it is, is you read the book. | ||
| Say if you're at home and you're reading the book, and you're like, oh, I've got to get to sleep. | ||
| When you get up in the morning, you sync the page To your smartphone. | ||
| So when you get up in the morning, you plug your smartphone into your car and a companion audible book picks up where you left off. | ||
| So it's a professional audio book with like a real actor reading it. | ||
| Don't ever get the ones with Stephen King reading his own shit. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Stephen King's one of my favorite authors, don't get me wrong. | ||
| But it's way better when you have like an actor reading it. | ||
| He's like sort of flat with his delivery. | ||
| And then he came up the stairs and he got shot. | ||
| Well, he tries. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| Awkward. | ||
| It's awkward. | ||
| But he's a fucking brilliant writer. | ||
| But the Audible books with him kind of suck it. | ||
| But I just love that this... | ||
| I think this is the future. | ||
| And it makes, to me, it makes commutes so much better. | ||
| I drove over here. | ||
| I was listening to an Audible book. | ||
| I think that... | ||
| It's a great way to make time if you live in any sort of situation where you have to travel, commuting, whether it's airplanes or whether it's being stuck in traffic every day. | ||
| An Audible book really makes the difference between fucking hating it and actually enjoying your time. | ||
| And the way Audible has set up, they have, I mean, I don't know how many fucking thousands of different It's really, as a comedian, that one really is very motivational, too. | ||
| You listen to Steve Martin talk about the glory days and starting out in comedy. | ||
| It makes you want to go on stage. | ||
| Starting up here at the Ice House. | ||
| He talks about the Ice House a lot. | ||
| Yeah, well, this place is fucking super-duper historic. | ||
| And if you go to audible.com, Joe, Audible will give you 30 days free service, and they will also give you one free audio book. | ||
| So go and check it out. | ||
| You try it free for 30 days. | ||
| It's an awesome service. | ||
| They're a really cool company. | ||
| They've been around a long time. | ||
| And they've supported a lot of comedians too. | ||
| Like I was talking about with Proops the other day. | ||
| I know he did some stuff for them. | ||
| And Marmel did some stuff for them. | ||
| And it's just a really cool and useful product that I think that if you haven't been into audiobooks before, it will really enhance your life. | ||
| Especially if you're in any sort of commuting situation. | ||
| So go check it out, you dirty bitches. | ||
| And we're also sponsored by Onnit.com. | ||
| Onnit has expanded, if you haven't been there in a long time. | ||
| We started out as essentially just a supplement company and we've worked our way into fitness equipment. | ||
| We now sell Blendtec blenders, which, you know, I'm always talking about drinking kale smoothies and how kale shakes make you, you know, just a massive amount of nutrients and it really makes your body feel fantastic. | ||
| So we started selling the blenders to make those things. | ||
| We started selling Blendtec blenders. | ||
| I'm a big fan of kettlebells and battle ropes and doing things and exercises which enhance what's called functional strength, meaning strength that you can use in an athletic endeavor, picking things up. | ||
| Strength that really comes into play instead of like, there's a lot of bodybuilding type exercises that just really make you look sexy as fuck, but they don't do anything. | ||
| They don't really enhance your athleticism. | ||
| They enhance your ability to move things in an isolated manner, which is kind of unnatural. | ||
| The way you pick up things really is you use your entire body. | ||
| When you're moving things around and carrying things, you're using all your muscles together and coordination as one. | ||
| That's what kettlebells are all about. | ||
| It's my favorite form of exercise as far as weight training. | ||
| I think you can get everything in there. | ||
| You can get your strength training in there. | ||
| You can get conditioning and cardio with kettlebells. | ||
| We even sell one of my all-time favorite videos for training with kettlebells. | ||
| It's the Kettlebell Cardio Workout. | ||
| By Keith Weber. | ||
| Extreme kettlebell cardio workout. | ||
| And it's out of stock. | ||
| We sold them out already. | ||
| They're that good, man. | ||
| They're fucking tremendous. | ||
| It's one of my favorite all-time videos. | ||
| He just puts you through the fucking meat grinder. | ||
| And I do it with a 35-pound kettlebell. | ||
| It's not much weight. | ||
| You'd think you could do that all day long. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| It's fucking brutal. | ||
| And it's an amazing cardio workout. | ||
| It's one of the best as far as doing something for me that translates to jiu-jitsu. | ||
| This workout is one of the best. | ||
| And so all that shit, we have it on it. | ||
| The supplements, all of them come with a first order of 30 pills, 100% money-back guarantee. | ||
| You don't have to return the product. | ||
| No one's trying to sell you anything that sucks. | ||
| It's all good stuff. | ||
| It's not going to fix you, but if you want to make your life... | ||
| One of the best ways to make your life better is to have a body that works better, whether it's through exercise and most certainly through nutrition. | ||
| I'm a huge proponent of eating healthy, of taking a lot of green leafy vegetables, eating vitamin supplements. | ||
| I take a lot of vitamin supplements every day. | ||
| I take these athlete pure packs so everything's all packed up for me. | ||
| I take extra fish oil and I took a lot of different Onnit supplements like Alpha Brain before shows and Shroom Tech Sport before workouts. | ||
| There's too much to mention so go check it out on Onnit.com and if you use the code name Rogan you save 10% off any and all supplements. | ||
| Right you dirty freaks. | ||
| Cue the music Brian. | ||
| Let's make it official. | ||
|
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The Joe Rogan experience. | |
| Train by day. | ||
|
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Joe Rogan podcast by night. | |
| All day. | ||
| So, ladies and gentlemen, as of right now, as of this moment, it's just me and my little buddy Brian. | ||
| Hello. | ||
| What's up, fella? | ||
| We don't do enough of these anymore. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I had a really rough night last night. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| I took that ZMA, and then I went out to eat, and I started falling asleep while I was on the beginning stages of ZMA, and that stuff hits you hard. | ||
| Like, I couldn't really drive on the way home. | ||
| It was like being drunk driving last night. | ||
| What?! | ||
| Yeah, so don't drink, or don't ZMA before you drive, and then go to Denny's. | ||
| I can't, wait a minute, but zinc is just, I mean ZMA rather, is just zinc, magnesium, and what else? | ||
| Is there anything else in there? | ||
| A couple of sleeping pills. | ||
| It doesn't do that to me. | ||
| It doesn't do that to me at all. | ||
| It was, I was saying double, I had to do the pirate drive, where you have to hold one eye while you drive. | ||
| It's weird how weird people's bodies react to different things. | ||
| People that are allergic to peanuts, I know it's true, but I don't believe it. | ||
| I know it's true, but I want to eat that peanut, bitch. | ||
| You know you can eat that peanut. | ||
| Give me those. | ||
| I'll eat them. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with peanuts. | ||
| How can that be possible? | ||
| I waited at a restaurant where a lady ate something. | ||
| I don't know if it was peanuts or some kind of fish where her throat started getting closed up and the ambulance had to take her away. | ||
| Well, that happened to a guy on Fear Factor. | ||
| We didn't know that he was allergic to eating roaches. | ||
| By the way, There was a roach-eating contest in Florida, and a guy fucking choked to death and died. | ||
| Yeah, same reason. | ||
| Was it the same reason? | ||
| I think, isn't it? | ||
| Because if you're allergic to shellfish, right? | ||
| Well, that's what it was on Fear Factor, but I don't know about this roach-eating guy who died. | ||
| Eating guy dies. | ||
|
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Roaches. | |
| Have you ever lived in a house that had roaches? | ||
| Oh yeah, definitely. | ||
| In the East Coast, it's a real problem. | ||
| It's not that much of a problem in LA. Not as much of a problem. | ||
| They have them out here. | ||
| I saw a big one out here in Pasadena at the Ice House. | ||
| Fucking giant one who was probably alive back when Dean Martin was still with Jerry Lewis. | ||
| This fucking roach was huge, man. | ||
| Yeah, those are like Disney roaches. | ||
| They seem drawn. | ||
| We have a rat problem at my house. | ||
| Just tons of mice and rats. | ||
| They don't go in the house, but they just all live in trees. | ||
| My tree has two rats that are just living up there like fucking kids in a tree house. | ||
| This guy choked to death on his own vomit. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Whoops. | ||
| It says, Edward Archibald choked to death on his own vomit after downing piles of bugs at a pet store... | ||
| Pat's store had a fucking roach eating contest and this guy has a giant mouthful of roaches and he choked to death on his own vomit. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's a weird way to die, man. | ||
| Especially roach vomit. | ||
| It all has legs and half of it's moving. | ||
| I can't help but feel a little bit responsible for this. | ||
| Oh yeah, you're somewhat involved with that. | ||
| Yeah, I think I contributed to this part of the retarded culture. | ||
| By Through Fear Factor, I think I definitely contributed to this, at least part of this. | ||
| It's craziness. | ||
| Jesus Christ, that's a disturbing thing to read. | ||
| Man choked to death on his own vomit during a cockroach eating contest at a pet store. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| It really is like Running Man. | ||
| Like when you watch the movie Running Man, they show you people going for money and dogs chasing them and biting them. | ||
| Like, well, that would never happen. | ||
| This is just an exaggeration. | ||
| But the more you see shit like that, you're like, nah, not really an exaggeration anymore. | ||
| In fact, it's just as fucked up or more fucked up than fiction. | ||
| Like the cum drinking part in Fear Factor, when we had people drink cum, that's more fucked up than anything you've ever seen in a movie about life being fucked up. | ||
| And it was real. | ||
| You know when you have a movie and they have those scenes of crazy shows? | ||
|
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Like Saw. | |
| Yeah, like parody things. | ||
| Yeah, it's fucking disgusting. | ||
| Your rodent problem, they have a unique way of trying to solve that in Chicago. | ||
| In Chicago, they have coyotes. | ||
| They know where the coyotes are. | ||
| They know their nests. | ||
| They're in Chicago. | ||
| There's 60 of them. | ||
| And these coyotes are tracked. | ||
| They have collars on them with, like, RFID devices or whatever the fuck it is they use to track them. | ||
| And they follow them around to make sure that, you know, these coyotes are, like, killing all the rats. | ||
| Why don't they just... | ||
| That seems dangerous, that just release coyotes. | ||
| I mean, they're not dangerous animals, really, but, yeah, they kill animals. | ||
| Why don't they just release tons of cats? | ||
| All the cats that are in the, like, the pens or whatever? | ||
| I think... | ||
| In shelters? | ||
| First of all, because I think people associate cats with pets. | ||
| You know, they associate it with, aw, poor little kitty, come to my house, and you keep him in your house, and then the fucking cat doesn't get to eat any rats. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| And the other thing is that they spread diseases, like that toxoplasma thing, the one that they know about with rats. | ||
| That would be really irresponsible if you wanted to have a bunch of cats and a bunch of rats interacting with people. | ||
| What if they give him little outfits that show that they work for the city, like the orange outfits and stuff, and it's illegal if you take him into your house? | ||
| People would take him in anyway. | ||
|
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Joey Diaz would go, this cocksucker, he didn't sign up to be working for the fucking DEA over here. | |
| This little guy, this little buddy, he's my little pal. | ||
| He'd rather have fucking chicken vittles. | ||
| So he gives them tender vittles. | ||
| Yeah, but they would put trackers, just like the coyotes would put little Fitbits in the cat's asses. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know if that works like that. | ||
| I don't think if you do that to cats, people would get mad at you. | ||
| If you had a bunch of cats running around with RFID collars on and you were leaving them in the wild and forcing them to fend for themselves. | ||
| Yeah, but you tell them like, hey, or they're going to get euthanized tonight. | ||
| Yeah, but people would want to feed them. | ||
| They would want to be interacting with them. | ||
| And when people interact with cats, if it's a feral cat, that's when you have the risk of that toxoplasma infection. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I think it would be irresponsible. | ||
| Yeah, but that's why you just have to make it, have a little costume and make it illegal. | ||
| Like, look, you get three years jail. | ||
| We have trackers in these. | ||
| These are working cats. | ||
| Maybe put little knives in their hands or something like that so you can't touch them. | ||
| I don't think that put knives in their hands. | ||
| I think coyotes are better at killing anyway. | ||
| I think they're better at it. | ||
| Coyotes are creepy fucks. | ||
| It just seems like we would have more cats to get rid of. | ||
| Well, they're going to eat the cats too. | ||
| Coyotes are going to eat the cats too. | ||
| Coyotes are dangerous. | ||
| Well, they're definitely dangerous. | ||
| But if they only have 60 of them and they keep an eye on them, it's a novel idea. | ||
| They know where their dens are and everything. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| It's fucking beyond crazy. | ||
| Essentially, they have these wild predators, just small enough to be manageable. | ||
| It's not like a team of polar bears that lives in your town. | ||
| They're just small enough, and they're just hungry enough to keep the rat problem in check. | ||
| Fuck, it might work, dude. | ||
| They're testing out drones. | ||
| That's drone training. | ||
| Yeah, it is like a drone. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| It's like an animal drone. | ||
| But yeah, and how do we know that they're not fucking putting chips in those coyotes' brains? | ||
| Yeah, those are Google coyotes. | ||
| Remote controlling them from Florida. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| Coyotes got mail. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Yeah, coyotes are... | ||
| That's a creepy thing to have around children, too, because they will kill a kid. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Cats won't kill a kid. | ||
|
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Cats can't kill a kid. | |
| And you just... | ||
| Like, the whole city has tons of cats everywhere. | ||
| There's not going to be any mice. | ||
| And then... | ||
| Yeah, I wonder what they do if the coyotes do keep the rat population in check to the point where there's no more rats. | ||
| And how do they get access to the rats? | ||
| How do you ensure that the coyotes get access to the rats? | ||
| It's almost like you have to bait the rats. | ||
| How do you get them into a spot where the coyotes... | ||
| You just let the coyotes figure it out? | ||
| Let the rats figure it out? | ||
| The problem is the coyotes are going to be shy of going near people. | ||
| And they're going to be hungry. | ||
| But the rats are going to be near people because that's where the garbage is. | ||
| So if the coyotes go near the rats, they're going near the people. | ||
| So the coyotes are going to be around people. | ||
| That's creepy. | ||
| It only takes a couple months until we start fucking those coyotes. | ||
| Would you fuck a coyote? | ||
| No. | ||
| Well, if it was held down, tied down. | ||
| If a coyote tried to kill you, would you fuck it? | ||
| If I had to, I would fuck it. | ||
| I ain't a poodle, you motherfucker. | ||
| Just stick your dick in the coyote. | ||
| I'm not for it. | ||
| Dominate him. | ||
| Animal sex doesn't seem as good as fish sex and dolphin sex. | ||
| Fish and dolphin sex. | ||
| Fish? | ||
| Well, fish sex seems cleaner. | ||
| Fish don't have sex, buddy. | ||
| It seems cleaner and slimy. | ||
| Dude, they don't even have vaginas. | ||
| Do you know that? | ||
| Fish, they don't sex. | ||
| Yeah, but they have very big mouths. | ||
| The male, they have big mouths. | ||
| Yeah, with teeth in them, dude. | ||
| They have teeth on their tongue. | ||
| Yeah, you just pull out the teeth and fuck it. | ||
| I don't think you can pull out tongue teeth. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Have you ever seen that fish where there's a parasite that lives inside of its mouth and eats its tongue and actually replaces its tongue? | ||
| And it becomes the tongue. | ||
| Yeah, it becomes the tongue. | ||
| It is the tongue. | ||
| What's that called? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Google fish with a parasite for tongue. | ||
| But it literally doesn't have a tongue anymore. | ||
| It has this fucking bug living in its mouth. | ||
| Nature, you scary. | ||
| Nature, you so scary. | ||
| One of the newest things that someone tweeted me is this combination polar bear-grizzly bear hybrid that has been seen a lot in Alaska lately. | ||
| The tongue? | ||
| Yeah, the tongue is nuts. | ||
| Hey guys, how are you doing? | ||
| The picture we're looking at is a dead fish that has this larva, whatever the fuck it is, beetle, bug-looking thing living in its mouth that literally replaces the fish's tongue. | ||
| The fish can't get rid of it, so it just accepts the fact this thing lives in its mouth. | ||
| And the fish keeps eating, and as the fish is eating, this thing, living as its tongue, gets to feast. | ||
| This works the dick, and this works the balls. | ||
| Yeah, and it takes the same place. | ||
| It helps get the food down into the hole, but it also steals a bunch for itself, I guess. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| The parasite relationship with parasites and organisms is so creepy. | ||
| There's so many different, weird examples of parasitic relationships. | ||
| I'm calling your phone, bro. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Look at this picture. | ||
| This is like a skeleton version of that parasite animal thing. | ||
| Oh, that was that dude. | ||
|
unidentified
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Ooh. | |
| Let me see. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, hey, how's it going, big guy? | |
| I don't know if I can call him back. | ||
| Let me see if I can. | ||
| Want me to kiss him? | ||
| Want me to kiss him right now? | ||
| Yeah, the parasitic relationship is very strange, man. | ||
| Do parasites have parasites? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| I have to. | ||
| What's inside the... | ||
| Hey, John, it's Joe. | ||
| Did you get the other number? | ||
| It's been busy. | ||
| That number's busy. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's still busy, he's saying. | ||
| All right, hold on. | ||
| We're going to make sure it's cleared off right now. | ||
| Otherwise, I'll just put you on speakerphone. | ||
| Yeah, let me hold on to you for a second right here. | ||
| We'll figure this out. | ||
| Try it now. | ||
| Can you try it now? | ||
| Or should I hang up? | ||
| Hang up and try it now, and if it doesn't work, call me back. | ||
| All right, he's trying to know. | ||
| Yeah, the aquatic worm is the weirdest one. | ||
| Grows inside of a grasshopper's body, and then when it's ready to be hatched, it tricks the grasshopper into committing suicide. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is it coming in? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| All right, here we go. | ||
|
unidentified
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Hello? | |
| Hello? | ||
| Mr. McAfee. | ||
|
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Yes. | |
| It's Joe Rogan. | ||
| How are you, sir? | ||
| I'm doing good, sir. | ||
| How are you doing? | ||
| I'm doing great, man. | ||
| We're online now. | ||
| So I want to thank you, first of all, for taking this conversation with us, because you don't know anything about this podcast, and you took a real chance in doing this, and I really appreciate that. | ||
| Well, you're very welcome, sir. | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
| I'm saying your story is absolutely fascinating and it really is a privilege to be able to communicate with you while all this is going on because as you know, your story has become a bit of a pop culture legend right now. | ||
| And for folks who don't know what the story is, you founded McAfee Antivirus Software, a tremendously successful company. | ||
| But for the last five years, you've been living in Belize, sort of living like a character in a Hunter S. Thompson movie. | ||
| And now you're in a bit of hot water and you're on the lam stating your case on your blog, which is official. | ||
| What is the blog's name? | ||
| The URL for the blog? | ||
| Well, the blog is official McAfee. | ||
| No, I'm sorry. | ||
| The blog is whoismcafee.com. | ||
| Sorry, whoismcafee.com. | ||
| Our Twitter is official McAfee. | ||
| And whoismcafee.com, you're updating on almost a daily basis. | ||
| You're writing all this stuff, man? | ||
| Every post for me is from my own hand. | ||
| So, that is a very rare situation where a guy's on the lam, and while he's doing it, he's making a blog. | ||
| Are you doing this because you fear that your story's not going to get out there clearly and correctly? | ||
| Well, it's not that I fear it's not. | ||
| I know it's not. | ||
| The story has gotten out there through the agents of people like Jeff Wise and Joshua Davis of Wired Magazine, and so the story was radically incorrect as they portrayed it. | ||
| They portrayed you as this sort of off-the-rails nutter who's living in this beautiful country and having a big party for your life. | ||
| It seemed like you were, you know, that's how they portrayed it. | ||
|
unidentified
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Correct. | |
| Actually, they went so far as to quote specific drugs they said I was using, like MDPV, which is methylene-dioxypyrovalerone. | ||
| Now, anybody who knows that that drug knows it is the most addictive drug on the planet. | ||
| People who start it cannot start, which means that as we're speaking, I must be taking it. | ||
| So, oh my God, the rats, the rats. | ||
| I'm sorry, rats are jumping out of my phone. | ||
| So the question is... | ||
| Do I sound like a demented, paranoid schizophrenic or not? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Well, I would have to be right next to you and look you in the eyes to answer that honestly. | ||
| Because some people are really good at being smooth and keeping it together while they're all fucked up. | ||
| But these speculations about this... | ||
| Let's just say what you're wanted for, first of all. | ||
| Your next-door neighbor turned up dead. | ||
| And you had to flee for your safety because you're sure, rather, that there's some sort of a conspiracy and that they're going to try to not only blame you for that, but you believe even possibly harm you or kill you. | ||
| Well, it's not that I believe it. | ||
| I know it for a fact, sir. | ||
| You know it for a fact. | ||
| By the way, he was not by next owner. | ||
| He lived about 200 yards down the beach. | ||
| I barely knew the gentleman. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| And there was no dispute between you and this gentleman? | ||
| I'm sorry, there's no what? | ||
| There was no dispute between you and this gentleman? | ||
| Oh, absolutely there was a dispute, but it was nothing more than a dispute that all neighbors face. | ||
| He did not like my dogs. | ||
| I didn't speak much with the gentleman. | ||
| He drank more than the average person, and I just didn't get along. | ||
| And he did not like the dogs barking at night. | ||
| And quite frankly, I didn't like them barking at night either. | ||
| They annoyed me, so I understood his complaint. | ||
| But as to being hostile or hateful, absolutely not. | ||
| But someone poisoned your dogs. | ||
| They did, and it was the night before. | ||
| It could not have been him. | ||
| He owns dogs himself, or owns dogs. | ||
| Any dog lover, I don't know whether you have dogs or not, Joe, but no dog lover, no one who has dogs, would ever, ever harm another dog. | ||
| Certainly not that way. | ||
| And the poison used was the most horrible. | ||
| They were vomiting blood, they were shitting blood. | ||
| I had to put them out of their misery. | ||
| No one would do that to a dog if they love dogs. | ||
| So you feel like someone else was involved and they did it and this man is being connected to that because he died. | ||
| Now why are they blaming it on you? | ||
| Okay, let me give you the history. | ||
| In the last day of April of this year, I woke up at 6 in the morning to 42 armed soldiers in full riot gear carrying automatic weapons storming my property in Orange Walk on the River. | ||
| I was held in handcuffs behind my back in the sun for fourteen hours without food or water. | ||
| At one point, by the way, I asked a guard for food and water, not just for me, but for everyone else. | ||
| The guard's response was, do I look like a chef to you? | ||
| Now, indeed, he did not look like a chef, so it was my mistake, but it was not a pleasant day. | ||
| From that moment on, I've had nothing but problems with the Belizean government. | ||
| The day afterwards, I demanded an apology from the Prime Minister. | ||
| Now, they thought that you were running a meth lab. | ||
| That was the accusation, correct? | ||
| Because you actually were doing some legitimate scientific work, according to what I've read, was that you were trying to work on some new antibiotic that comes from plants found in the rainforest. | ||
| Was that the idea? | ||
| Well, it's a new science called quorum sensing, which involves communication between bacteria. | ||
| And it was not really an antibiotic. | ||
| It was a topical antiseptic, but a fairly magical one. | ||
| By the way, a week after the raid, the government tried to charge me with running an antibiotics laboratory without a license. | ||
| That failed because, first of all, no such law exists. | ||
| After that, they tried to charge me for hiring security guards without a license. | ||
| It's been going on non-stop for seven months. | ||
| Now, the other reason why they would suspect that there was some crazy drugs involved was because of forum posts that have been attributed to you that were all about purifying the chemicals known as bath salts and turning them into some crazy new, more concentrated form of something that makes you hypersexual. | ||
| And all these posts online were attributed to you. | ||
| Are these things you actually wrote? | ||
| No, absolutely. | ||
| I wrote them. | ||
| And if you go there, the site is Blue Light. | ||
| It's the largest drug form in the world. | ||
| And basically, 10 years ago, a drug called MDPV-TAN, a mythical drug, people claim to have found with magical properties. | ||
| And the myth continues on. | ||
| My post was claiming to have rediscovered the formula for it. | ||
| Now, the chemists online, there are about 200 chemists on Blue Light, all said, This is a hoax. | ||
| This is total nonsense, and they wandered off. | ||
| The rank and file followed through with it. | ||
| I am a practical jokester. | ||
| I have a lot of free time, and I just like to have fun. | ||
| So you just trolled? | ||
| However, had I rediscovered that formula, I would go to Bayer, Bayer Laboratories in Germany, with a formula and a sample and demand a check for a billion dollars. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What would I be doing here? | |
| So, you think you'd get a billion dollars for some drug that makes you hypersexual? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hell yeah. | |
| Hot Rod 6,000. | ||
| Okay, well, let's say, what do you think Viagra, what do you think that Cialis, what do you think all these sex drugs are? | ||
| They are marital aids. | ||
| So a marital aid, a marital aid that enhance sex. | ||
| Yes, I think so. | ||
| I think the president of the company would be down on his knees handing me the check going, We now own the world. | ||
| I mean, of course so. | ||
| I mean, what do you think drugs are all about, sir? | ||
| Well, yeah, I think people draw the line with bath salts. | ||
| I don't know the actual effects of it physically, because I haven't experienced them, but when you see them attributed to people biting people's faces off and shit like that, which is what we see in the news, and the crazy stories on airwood.com, If you go.org, if you go and read the Arrowhead trip reports of people who have taken that stuff, it doesn't seem like a good experience at all. | ||
| So I don't know how that would be really profitable. | ||
| If you read this post, sir, it had nothing to do with basalt. | ||
| It had to do with a drug called MTPV-CAN. If you read all of the myth about it, it had nothing to do with that. | ||
| It was a purely sexual enhancement. | ||
| Okay, so the bath salt label... | ||
| In my mind, it has nothing to do with it. | ||
| They just attributed it to, quote, bath salts. | ||
| This is, again, the main line for us doing what it does best. | ||
| Let's sensationalize as best we can. | ||
| But you know all about these chemicals in pretty intimate order. | ||
| I mean, you know all the various different chemical names, and you know enough to troll these people effectively. | ||
| But you don't experience these drugs yourself? | ||
| Of course not. | ||
| I know about a lot of things. | ||
| I know a lot about IP address rectification. | ||
| I don't know how to do it. | ||
| You know a lot of things that you do not do. | ||
| I read, sir. | ||
| I have plenty of time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I believe you. | |
| No, I'm listening. | ||
| Anything interesting, I will devour. | ||
| I believe you. | ||
| Look, I mean, I'm not saying that I don't believe you. | ||
| I have no reason to question you. | ||
| I just thought it was a very strange thing to do, to write this really elaborate troll about sex, you know, about making, you know, you want to jerk off to your dick bleeds. | ||
| I thought it was hilarious. | ||
| Okay, well, I thought it was hilarious too, but some people did not. | ||
| But listen, this is not unique for me. | ||
| If you search online for a thing called observational yoga, let me tell you this story. | ||
| A woman from the Village Voice, writing for the Village Voice, called me to make a comment on the highly publicized lawsuit between Bikram Chowdhury and a guy named Gregory Gamuchio. | ||
| And Gregory used to be one of my yoga students. | ||
| She had no sense of humor. | ||
| So she finally said, what are you doing now? | ||
| I said, I'm running a bunch of observational yoga studios in Belize. | ||
| She goes, what's that? | ||
| I said, well, we've discovered that if you sit in an easy chair, drink wine, and eat hors d'oeuvres, and watch people do yoga, you get exactly the same benefits. | ||
| She said, really? | ||
| So I stretched it out. | ||
| I said, yes, and we're going to start opening up observational weight training studios. | ||
| And I went on to say that it works for everything except we've had no sex with observational concert pianists. | ||
| We have people watch people play piano all day long and they still can't play the piano. | ||
| We don't know why. | ||
| Now obviously it's a fucking joke. | ||
| And what happened? | ||
| She published a story. | ||
| Check it out on the web. | ||
| A long story about observational yoga. | ||
| I had franchise requests from all over the world. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| But you did have this chemical lab on your lot, developing this antiseptic. | ||
| So that's where the confusion came in, where people were like, oh, so this guy actually has all this equipment, but he's not, you know... | ||
| So you weren't... | ||
| You weren't doing any of that stuff that was said in that blog. | ||
| That was all in humor. | ||
| But did they find any of those chemicals and substances when they raided your place? | ||
| But they found them and they weren't illegal? | ||
| Because those substances aren't illegal, technically? | ||
| No, they found none of those substances, sir. | ||
| They swept that lab with a fine-cooked home. | ||
| There was nothing in there but herbs that we had picked along the river. | ||
| Well, just to play devil's advocate, I mean, if you were... | ||
| Going to be this incredibly rich guy, which by all reports you are, living in this country, having a 17-year-old girlfriend, which by all reports you do, and you were... | ||
| My friend applauds you. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
| Sorry, I applaud you as well. | ||
| And you were trying to have a good time, and you were cooking up some stuff, and I wouldn't necessarily think you would want to take it public. | ||
| I would think that that in and of itself, you know, cooking that stuff up and reporting about it online would be enough. | ||
| I mean, if you were a poor person and it was an amazing business opportunity, but I feel like a guy like you who moves down to Belize with a shitload of money, you're already in it for the vacation. | ||
| Anyway, why would you go back to work? | ||
| Why would you really try to pitch some hypersexual meth? | ||
| You know, I could see playing devil's advocate why people would think that that is the story. | ||
| Could you see why people would think that's the story? | ||
| Yeah, I can understand. | ||
| But let me tell you something, sir. | ||
| Money is the aphrodisiac. | ||
| I hate to tell you that, and I hate to be cynical. | ||
| But a man at my age at 67, it is the idea of lots of cash that turns some women on. | ||
| I'm sorry to say that, and I will get trashed. | ||
| You're not going to get trashed. | ||
| That's honesty. | ||
| That's honesty, man. | ||
| From your experience especially, it's proven to be absolutely factual. | ||
| So you are, in a sense, you're saying... | ||
| I'm sitting here with Samantha. | ||
| I don't know if anybody's been following the blog, and Samantha is probably, she has more balls than any woman I have ever met, and she is a fierce Tiger-like ball of fire, and she is looking at me now like she's going to rip one of my legs off, or maybe both of my nuts. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| How hot is Samantha on a 1 to 10? | ||
| Wait, she's a chance? | ||
| She's got balls? | ||
| No, he's just joking. | ||
| How hot is she on a 1 to 10? | ||
| That was my friend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sorry. | |
| How hot is she? | ||
| I'm not talking about sexually. | ||
| I'm talking about just as a tiger, someone that you would never, ever want to fuck with. | ||
| So she's tough. | ||
| She's badass. | ||
| She's got more balls than me. | ||
| I see what you're saying. | ||
| Look, what you're trying to say is that even though money is an aphrodisiac, it's not like you don't have respect for women. | ||
| And you respect women very much. | ||
| I'm not saying that at all. | ||
| I do respect women. | ||
| I respect women tremendously. | ||
| But I'm also a realist. | ||
| I know what motivates people. | ||
| I'd be stupid if I didn't think that money might have something to do with young girls following me around, let's face it. | ||
| I will keep you on the phone as long as you need, sir. | ||
| We'll cool her down. | ||
| We'll calm her down. | ||
| Take deep breaths. | ||
| Do you want to say hi to her? | ||
| Okay, Brian does, sure. | ||
| We'll say hi to her for a moment. | ||
| Yeah, okay. | ||
| Hi, Samantha. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hi. | |
| How are you doing? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| Are you ticklish? | ||
| Brian, settle down. | ||
| Sorry, my friend's retarded. | ||
| Are you a little bit angry? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Why are you angry? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because of what John just said. | |
| Because of what John just said? | ||
| I think what he said was fairly mild. | ||
| He was just saying that you're a very powerful person. | ||
| You've got a strong presence. | ||
| You're feisty. | ||
| You're feisty, yeah. | ||
| I don't think there's anything wrong with that. | ||
| You've got to give him some slack. | ||
| So, how long have you known John? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Over a year and a half now. | |
| Over a year and a half? | ||
| Do you enjoy his company? | ||
| Would you be willing to endorse his character? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I enjoy being around him, yes. | |
| You enjoy being around him? | ||
| That's good. | ||
| So you guys have a good relationship? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Excellent. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We have a good relationship. | |
| Alright. | ||
| You're a fascinating person. | ||
| Can I talk to John again? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, sure. | |
| Thank you, Samantha. | ||
| Thank you for that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, please. | |
| She seems a bit calmer now. | ||
| Dude, she's a natural on radio. | ||
| She should have her own show. | ||
| I agree fully. | ||
| I want to get her on Howard Stern. | ||
| and someone on the block said, you know, we need to get out on Howard Stern. | ||
| We'd find out what Sam was like in bed. | ||
| And I responded, yeah, we get Sam on Howard Stern. | ||
| We found out what Howard was like in bed. | ||
| Whoa, Jesus. | ||
| Howard's a married man. | ||
| How dare you, sir. | ||
| You are living that life that everybody would say, like, one day, man, fuck it, I just want to retire to some awesome country, live on the beach, and have lots of beautiful women around me. | ||
| That's you, man. | ||
| You're really doing that. | ||
| Well, I'm not doing it right now, sir. | ||
| I'm covered with insect bites, and I'm not exactly living the life I would like to live. | ||
| Well, you were. | ||
| No matter where you're living, I swear it has been improvement. | ||
| Well, I believe your situation right now is dire. | ||
| Before this, though, you were living this magical life of retirement fantasies, what men think of as like the perfect sort of a place to live as an expat. | ||
| Why did you decide to move to Belize? | ||
| It's the most beautiful country in the world. | ||
| I'm well-traveled. | ||
| I think there are few countries I have not visited, and Belize is the most beautiful. | ||
| The offshore reef allows me to have a dock right in front of my house with a boat. | ||
| You can't do that in Florida, New York, anywhere on the Pacific. | ||
| The water is aquamarine blue. | ||
| The weather is spectacular. | ||
| You're around. | ||
| The fishing is great. | ||
| The diving is great. | ||
| It's a beautiful country. | ||
| Did you have a bunch of friends that lived down there before you moved? | ||
| No, I also would not have moved here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Why is that? | ||
| Oh, you wanted to get away? | ||
| Yeah, get away. | ||
| That's the whole key. | ||
| Now, what, if anything, did this have to do with... | ||
| You had a business in America for a while where you were doing some... | ||
| Explain what you were doing with airplanes. | ||
| There was some acrobatic sort of contest you guys were doing with planes. | ||
| What were you doing? | ||
| It was not a business at all. | ||
| I never took a dime. | ||
| I never made a dime. | ||
| In fact, I think I lost probably $10 million on that whole affair. | ||
| It was just for fun. | ||
| It was for myself. | ||
| My friends had enjoyed flying, and we flew these things called kite-wing airplanes. | ||
| I mean, they're real airplanes with instrumentation and real airplane engines, but they look like motorcycles with wings. | ||
| It is a kick in the ass. | ||
| And I promise you, if you've ever done it, you will get addicted. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| So for a few years, that's what I was doing. | ||
| And then what happened that led you to quit doing it? | ||
| Didn't someone die? | ||
| My nephew died and one of his passengers. | ||
| There's a lawsuit from that. | ||
| In fact, I've had more lawsuits than God. | ||
| Of everything from someone tripping over a log on my property and suing me for $10 million to a wrongful death from the passenger in my nephew's airplane. | ||
| Yeah, that is an unfortunate aspect of our society that people look at any sort of a situation where it involves dealing with a rich person as possibly an opportunity to hit the lottery. | ||
| You know, whether it's... | ||
| Altercations, physical altercations. | ||
| When a guy like you, you're obviously a very successful man and you become a target for shysters, right? | ||
| Basically, let me tell you, this is the strangest lawsuit. | ||
| I bought a house in Florida, put a down payment down, changed my mind a few days later and said, I'm declining the contract, keep the down payment. | ||
| I was sued for half a million dollars, even though two weeks later they resold the house for hundreds of thousands more than my contract. | ||
| And they sued me. | ||
| It's like, unbelievable. | ||
| They suffered no loss. | ||
| In fact, they suffered a tremendous gain by me canceling that contract. | ||
| It's a crazy world, my friend. | ||
| Yeah, it is a crazy world. | ||
| It's a crazy world and the legal system is most certainly not the most perfect setup. | ||
| But when you moved to Belize, were you aware of what their legal system was like? | ||
| Because you seem to be having a real hard time with the powers that be there. | ||
| Did you know that it was kind of fucking sketchy down there? | ||
| Well, of course I knew it was sketchy. | ||
| I didn't realize it was this sketchy. | ||
| I didn't realize that as a rich foreigner, you are obligated to pay your dues. | ||
| That is, you know, if you're going to donate money, I've donated more than $7 million worth of stuff in this country, but I did it in a way that the powers that be could not skim anything. | ||
| You know, I bought boots, for example, for every police officer in the Orange Walk District. | ||
| But I demanded an accounting. | ||
| Who gets which boots? | ||
| Now, what government official is going to be able to skim money off of that? | ||
| They say, well, give us the money and let us buy the boots. | ||
| Well, they would keep 99% and buy two pairs of boots. | ||
| This is how it works. | ||
| The rest would go to their families and in their own pockets. | ||
| Well, I don't play by those rules, and it pisses everybody off. | ||
| The government sent someone in for a donation. | ||
| This is prior to the last election. | ||
| When I heard the amount, I said, get the fuck off my property. | ||
| How much are they asking for? | ||
| Two million. | ||
| Two million dollars! | ||
| Jesus fucking Christ! | ||
| And this is for one term? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They were going to make my life better. | |
| They were going to give me all sorts of preferences. | ||
| I didn't want to hear the fucking preferences. | ||
| Get the fuck off my property. | ||
| There is no argument. | ||
| There's no question. | ||
| There is no communication here. | ||
| Just get the fuck off. | ||
| They don't like that. | ||
| Just piss them off. | ||
| It's nice to give them a little bit of money, you know, nice to, if they really have the altruistic notions in mind of, you know, keeping the community in good order and governing things well. | ||
| But it seems like you're dealing with an ancient system of corruption that's almost insurmountable. | ||
| When you deal with, like, is that what they call a banana republic? | ||
| This is way below banana republic. | ||
| Keep in mind, police was founded by pirates, and it's still controlled by pirates. | ||
| Founded by pirates? | ||
| You rule through fear, and you collect debts through extortion. | ||
| This is the way life is. | ||
| But they can't extradite you to America? | ||
| Is that the case? | ||
| Like, if your lawsuits, do you have to go to America to deal with the lawsuits involving the plane crash? | ||
| No, of course not. | ||
| You know how the legal system works. | ||
| If anyone ever did get a judgment, which no one has out of all these lawsuits, all of them have failed, I will settle nothing for a dime. | ||
| I don't care if it costs me $10 million. | ||
| I will pay it. | ||
| I will fight it rather than give someone a single dime from suing me. | ||
| But if you ever do get a judgment, they can collect it anywhere. | ||
| This is the way the world works. | ||
| So if they did find you responsible, it wouldn't matter. | ||
| They would be able to get to you. | ||
| So it's not that you're in Belize for that reason. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| But how on earth can anybody... | ||
| Like the airplane lawsuit. | ||
| The airplane didn't belong to me. | ||
| I was not even there at the time. | ||
| Everything was kosher. | ||
| Accidents happen. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| I lost a nephew in that crash. | ||
| I'm sorry that someone lost a father and a husband. | ||
| But it was an accident, for Christ's sakes. | ||
| No one is going to find me guilty. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| And this has been going on for seven years. | ||
| They just wear you down until you pay. | ||
| But I will never pay. | ||
| I will never settle. | ||
| I will fight this if it takes 50 years and cost me my last penny, because I will not. | ||
| I will not submit to extortion. | ||
| Well, it's kind of interesting that you would be held responsible for it when you think about the fact that who knows how many people die in motorcycle accidents every year. | ||
| And that's thought to be a respectable, normal activity, although very dangerous. | ||
| When people die in it, you don't go immediately looking for someone to sue because they were involved in a dangerous activity. | ||
| It's really weird to me. | ||
| I guarantee you would if it was owned by Bill Gates or Steve Jobs or Wozniak or me. | ||
| Absolutely you'd go after the person because that's what they do. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| So now your situation is you're on the run, essentially. | ||
| Do you have official charges against you? | ||
| I have no charges whatsoever. | ||
| But you know they're looking for you. | ||
| However, I know how this system works. | ||
| After the questioning, I am detained. | ||
| They can legally detain you forever in this country with no charges. | ||
| And it's easy to make a charge because there's no law here. | ||
| Even though it's on the books, there is no real law. | ||
| The law is ruled by the powers in the party. | ||
| And so, you know, I'm not turning myself in for questioning. | ||
| If you want to question me, call me on the phone. | ||
| I'll be happy to talk to you. | ||
| I'll answer anything you want to know. | ||
| But yet you still plan on staying in Belize. | ||
| It's my home, sir. | ||
| I mean, maybe you don't understand that That when you love a country and you love the people, and you love where you are, it becomes your home. | ||
| So I don't care how bad it gets, I don't care how many nasty people show up at the top of the government, I will fight it. | ||
| I will fight it. | ||
| I will not leave. | ||
| Oh, I understand that that's your position, and I understand your passion. | ||
| It's just very unusual that someone would be willing to deal with such dangerous situations. | ||
| A lot of people would not have that sort of resolve in committing to a place to live. | ||
| Well, when you're 67, your future is very similar. | ||
| You don't have a lot to risk. | ||
| You say that, man, but you're going way out of your way to speak to people like myself, to speak to Alex Jones today, which I know you had a conversation with earlier, talking to people at Wired, telling your case. | ||
| You obviously have a vested interest in staying alive and a vested interest in telling the truth about your situation. | ||
| You're not a guy that's looking at the end. | ||
| No, I'm not, but I'll tell you one thing. | ||
| My most important point, and I'm going to say right now, is that three of my friends are in prison, and they have been in prison for going on three weeks because they could not get their hands on me. | ||
| Even if they do get their hands on me, those friends will stay in prison. | ||
| This is the way the system works. | ||
| This is unjust. | ||
| They have been charged with bogus charges. | ||
| If you go to my website, which is whoismcafee.com, again, whoismcafee.com, You will find email forms, email the prime minister, everybody is listed there, demand that these people get released. | ||
| This is injustice at the highest order. | ||
| I may be an old man, but they are all young men. | ||
| One of them is in his early twenties with a brand new baby. | ||
| His wife, by the way, was arrested and held for a week with a newborn baby before she was released. | ||
| You know, anybody who aids in the bedroom was arrested, a cab driver who helped me, he was arrested. | ||
| This is utterly, utterly absurd. | ||
| Because you are my friend, you are therefore arrested and punished. | ||
| And by the way, the prisons here are no joke. | ||
| There are no beds. | ||
| You have concrete floors. | ||
| There are no toilets. | ||
| There are no showers. | ||
| There is no fucking food. | ||
| So please, everyone, go to my site. | ||
| Whoismacafee.com. | ||
| Look at the form. | ||
| Mail these idiots and ask for something. | ||
| Release these people. | ||
| Is there a way to resolve this situation? | ||
| Is there a way in Belize? | ||
| The corruption that you're talking about sounds so overwhelming. | ||
| I mean, it seems like if you go there and fight it, it's almost like swimming into the ocean and hoping to hit land. | ||
| It's almost like an insurmountable task. | ||
| You would think so, sir, but 70% of this economy depends upon tourism. | ||
| Believe me, if the outside world gets pissed off enough, the government will listen. | ||
| If 70% of any economy disappears, that country collapses. | ||
| At some point, they will have to yield. | ||
| Or I will stay like this. | ||
| I will stay in hiding forever and I will continue to write forever. | ||
| Those are the only two options. | ||
| Well, I can certainly tell you this. | ||
| Listening to your story has made me not want to go on vacation there. | ||
| I would never go on vacation there. | ||
| Because if the shit hit the fan, it sounds like the place is controlled by fucking crazy people. | ||
| Well, it is controlled by crazy people. | ||
| And by the way, sir, I'm going to check to see whether you emailed something yourself. | ||
| And if not... | ||
| I'm going to come after you. | ||
| I am indeed. | ||
| I'm going to harass you with Lawrence Welk music outside your house for hours. | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| What did you say? | ||
| If I did it? | ||
| He wants you to email me. | ||
| If you don't go on my blog and mail yourself, then I'm going to come after you and play bad music in front of your house forever. | ||
| Lawrence Welk was a wonderful man, and he played some beautiful music. | ||
| But not only that, we'll promote it. | ||
| Try listening to it for hours on end. | ||
| Isn't that how they got Noriega out? | ||
| Didn't they play Metallica or something like that? | ||
| I'm sorry, sir? | ||
| I said, isn't that how they got Noriega to come out of... | ||
| He was held up in the house when they finally arrested him? | ||
| They were playing Rolling Stones, Steve. | ||
| I don't think he liked Mick Jagger and his crowd. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So you still believe that this can be resolved, and you can go back to Belize and go back to living your wonderful life in your home? | ||
| I do indeed. | ||
| If I'm wrong, then I really am crazy. | ||
| So you believe that by exposing all this corruption, turning a lot of negative publicity on the way the government's run in Belize, this could hurt their economy and it could make them reconsider and become nice? | ||
| How's it going to get you back? | ||
| I'm sorry, but money does motivate people. | ||
| I believe you. | ||
| No, I certainly believe you. | ||
| But it seems like you're in a situation where you're dealing with so many dangerous folks. | ||
| I couldn't imagine you not wanting to just get the fuck out of there and maybe come back to America where our system of law is a little bit more obvious. | ||
| Okay, well, there are a couple of issues. | ||
| Number one, I'm traveling with a young woman whose life is in my hands and trying to get her out of the country with me or move with her would put her in danger. | ||
| She will not leave me. | ||
| I've tried threatening. | ||
| I've tried pleading. | ||
| All she says is, where you go, I go. | ||
| And she's threatened now to slash my throat in the middle of the night if I even suggest it again. | ||
| So I have her to think about. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or don't be around people that are thinking about cutting you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's another option. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Obviously, that's just a figure of speech. | ||
| She's joking there, sir. | ||
| I did not in any way mean to imply that she would actually do it. | ||
| Oh, we know. | ||
| We know. | ||
| We were just joking around with you. | ||
| Maybe it was better the whole time. | ||
| Well, listen, man. | ||
| It's great that you have such a loyal companion. | ||
| My humor is stretched thin these days, so if I miss some of it, please forgive me. | ||
| It's great that you have such a loyal companion in this terrible time of crisis. | ||
| Now, how are you, I mean, without giving away your location and giving away your methods of concealment, can you tell us about how you're living? | ||
| Well, I'm not living very good. | ||
| Well, actually today I'm living really good. | ||
| I do manage to move from time to time. | ||
| I do get some warm showers. | ||
| Oh, by the way, until you lose everything, You have no clue what's truly valuable. | ||
| To me, number one, other than food, of course, hot showers. | ||
| You have no fucking clue what life is like without it. | ||
| So, we're living on hog today. | ||
| Now, you may think we're living in a hobble, but for today, I'm in hog heaven. | ||
| My life has not been exactly pleasant. | ||
| I've been moving frequently, sometimes every four hours, sometimes once a day. | ||
| Again, my biggest concern is making sure that Sam is safe. | ||
| Moving with Sam is a lot more difficult, of course, because people are looking for an elderly white man and a cute young girl. | ||
| Well, gee whiz. | ||
| You know, how hard is that to spot? | ||
| And yet we've managed for almost three weeks to obey the authorities, and I plan on continuing to do it until my dying day, if necessary. | ||
| So the idea is not to hole up until you get this resolved. | ||
| The idea is to just hole up to the end. | ||
| Well, when I get this resolved, if I get this resolved, that is the end. | ||
| Then I go home, Sam gets with me, and we go back to swimming and fishing and sitting in the sun. | ||
| Now, you've used a bunch of different elaborate disguises, too, that you were pretty open with, different things that you did to hide your appearance. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| What did you do? | ||
| Actually, I met the Financial Times reporter of Adam Thompson came. | ||
| He was actually going to come and stay with us for a length of time and chronicle our events, but he kind of freaked out after he got here and was seriously freaked out and begged to leave after four hours. | ||
| He did get four hours of tape interview and his story will appear in the London Financial Times on the 7th of December. | ||
| It should be a fascinating story. | ||
| I felt sorry for him. | ||
| I chose him because he was an objective writer. | ||
| It did not occur to me, and this is how stupid I am, that someone who was a financial reporter might not be suited for this life. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So he, at least he hung in there for four days. | ||
| So he'll get an accurate assessment. | ||
| No, not a full day. | ||
| He hung in there for four hours. | ||
| Oh, for four hours. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| What a pussy. | ||
| I wrote on the block at one point, Sam said, she really, I mean, she really ran over there, she said. | ||
| I'm a girl. | ||
| I'm small. | ||
| I'm 20 years old. | ||
| And I have more balls than you have. | ||
| And, you know, the poor bastard was really taken aback. | ||
| I laughed and said, don't worry about it. | ||
| She's got more balls than me, too. | ||
| You don't take it personally. | ||
| There's an e-book about you that started off as an article in Wired, but it became so interesting that this writer constructed an e-book, and they're selling it now, I believe, on Amazon, right? | ||
| Oh, yeah, Josh Davis, um... | ||
| Yeah, Josh is not one of my favorite people. | ||
| He made a story. | ||
| He called me to do a story about the arrest and the raid. | ||
| I said, okay, under this condition, if it devolves into a personality piece, I am not going to cooperate. | ||
| Because that's how people write about me, it's personality. | ||
| I do have an outside environment, which is interesting, but... | ||
| People prefer to write about whatever I am. | ||
| Well, you're an awesome personality. | ||
| I believe that you have all these other things. | ||
| You're an awesome personality. | ||
| Look, first of all, you're a very successful businessman. | ||
| You're obviously a very intelligent person, but let's be honest. | ||
| You're an awesome personality. | ||
| Did you say 67 years old? | ||
| You're 67 years old. | ||
| You live in the beach in Belize in this incredible compound with 11 dogs. | ||
| You have really hot girlfriends and the legend is you cook meth. | ||
| That's a fascinating story. | ||
| People would want to hear that. | ||
| Once they chip away at all that and get to who you really are... | ||
| You and I have an agreement. | ||
| But if you and I have an agreement, sir, up front going, this will not be a personality piece. | ||
| This will be a story about corruption and police, and it ends up being an e-book with me holding a shotgun shirtless. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck me. | |
| So, Josh is not my favorite person. | ||
| And in fact, halfway through it, I figured out what was going on. | ||
| So I go, you motherfuckers in my own mind. | ||
| I understand. | ||
| In my own story, and I even told him, you can ask him this, listen, I'm writing a story about you while you're writing a story about me. | ||
| Mine will come out first. | ||
| Well, I understand that what's really important to you is to get out the reality of the corruption in Belize, and that's what was important about... | ||
| But do you understand that more people are going to read that piece because they got a picture of you naked with a shotgun? | ||
| It's really hard to find pictures of me naked with a shotgun. | ||
| No, but I disagree, sir. | ||
| And this is why. | ||
| Because I think it turns eyes on it. | ||
| And your amazing personality is making people aware of this corruption. | ||
| That's how I'm becoming aware of it. | ||
| I wouldn't become aware of it if it wasn't for the fact that it makes for this sensational story. | ||
| Whether or not most of the aspects of it are true or not, you have to understand that that's why people are paying attention. | ||
| People love a crazy train wreck. | ||
| And a billionaire who's shirtless holding guns, that's the kind of shit people want to see. | ||
| When a guy is 67 years old and he lives in a beautiful paradise with hot chicks and he's got a fucking gun and he's not wearing a shirt, that's the kind of shit people want to see. | ||
| Through that, you can get your story and your information and what's really important for you to reveal this corruption. | ||
| But you have to understand that that makes it appealing. | ||
| That's what's exciting about it to people. | ||
| No, no, I understand that. | ||
| I understand that full well, and I am using that to the max. | ||
| However, that still does not excuse Josh from a personal perspective. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So Josh violated your trust. | |
| Big time. | ||
| Big time. | ||
| So you're just not interested in revealing those aspects of your personal life, and you thought that by having him and having him over in confidence, he would not make it about that. | ||
| I did indeed. | ||
| I totally understand. | ||
| I had the agreement from him that it will not be a personality trait. | ||
| I totally understand that, sir. | ||
| Since it was, I folded it into everything. | ||
| I'm not a stupid person. | ||
| I'm foolish, I admit, but still a little bit clever. | ||
| I go, okay, this is what it is. | ||
| I'm going to just use you as a springboard, which I did. | ||
| Well, and I appreciate that you did do that. | ||
| So that's how I found out about your blog. | ||
| And I think that's one of the most beautiful things about this day and age is that a guy like you really cannot be misrepresented because you can represent yourself. | ||
| And you can put your own words down on a blog and have an answer for every question instead of just leaving things up to your accusers, especially in a situation like yours where you're on the run. | ||
| You still have the opportunity to put up your version of the things, word for word, exactly how you want it distributed. | ||
| And that's a rare thing about our time and this conversation that we're having right now. | ||
| Same thing. | ||
| You have a rare opportunity to state your case emphatically. | ||
| No, I agree, Paul. | ||
| And that's why I'm talking to you instead of CNN. CNN has been reaching out to me every single day. | ||
| And, you know, I've basically been telling them to fuck off. | ||
| The traditional press operates on the principle of let's use what's already been regurgitated and show a different light on that moment. | ||
| Here with you, I'm talking to you real time. | ||
| You have the resources, you have the access, And you have the viewership, the listenership, which is completely different. | ||
| I can talk to you and you can ask me anything. | ||
| I don't care what it is. | ||
| My sexual preferences is, you know, whatever. | ||
| Have I ever stolen as a child? | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| I will answer honestly because it comes from my lips with my intonations. | ||
| If I talk to CNN, they're going to edit it to the point that I still come off like a raving lunatic. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| I'm going out of the trash again coming out of the telephone. | ||
| It's a dying method of getting information. | ||
| It just doesn't make sense. | ||
| The way it's broken up in commercials and designed to sandwich products in between that you don't want. | ||
| It's a dying way of distributing information. | ||
| It just doesn't hold up in the age of the internet. | ||
| But I think this is one of the rare cases as far as a big news story like yours, where a guy gets to really tell his story to a bunch of different venues, whether it's Alex Jones or me or whether it's your blog or whether it's your Twitter. | ||
| You, Official McAfee Twitter, you were able to tell your side of things in a way that we've never seen before. | ||
| Could you imagine when OJ was on the run, if OJ had a video blog and he got to tell his story? | ||
| It would have been a completely different story with a different ending. | ||
| Yes, possibly. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, who knows? | ||
| I mean, if Lee Harvey Oswald could have had a fucking blog, that would have been an interesting thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, wait, wait. | |
| We know, by the way, it was Michael Jackson who killed his wife. | ||
| I mean, if you can remember that far back, Michael Jackson and the young boy were headlines. | ||
| And then suddenly, everybody forgot about him and started looking at O.J. So, if you look at the motive, it had to be Michael Jackson. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| I don't think that's correct, but I respect you putting it out there. | ||
| I think it's not correct, too, but it was a joke, sir. | ||
| I know it was a joke, man. | ||
| I'm reacting to it as if I'm retarded. | ||
| Bobo killed it. | ||
| Where was the monkey? | ||
| My apologies. | ||
| No, no worries, man. | ||
| Are you comfortable with this position of being this guy who's on the run and being this guy who's accused of a horrible crime and having this really crazy wild lifestyle? | ||
| Are you enjoying this stage of your life other than the fact that you're on the run? | ||
| Good God, no. | ||
| I mean, this is one of the worst points of my life. | ||
| Absolutely not. | ||
| But I'm not backing off from anything. | ||
| It's not something that is going to deter me from continuing. | ||
| I mean, I would much rather have the freedom of movement. | ||
| I'd like to jump in my pool and sun myself and sit at the end of the dock and throw a fishing line in the water or just get in the boat and bob around for a while. | ||
| But no, this is not something I'm comfortable with. | ||
| It's something I'm coping with. | ||
| There's a difference. | ||
| How many people have a negative reaction to your lifestyle, the lifestyle that you were leading before you got into trouble with the Belize government? | ||
| The older guy with the young chicks partying all the time? | ||
| Well, I would say 90%. | ||
| The older guy with the young chicks, he says the partying all the time did not exist. | ||
| Not the way people think there was partying. | ||
| Okay, so, I mean, even just hanging out with a 20-year-old naked, that shit's partying. | ||
| That's how I look at it. | ||
| I want to party with you. | ||
| I don't mean partying by, like, the drugs that you were trolling people on taking. | ||
| I don't mean to imply that. | ||
| But I mean to imply that you're living, like, a pretty festive lifestyle down there. | ||
| Well, I was enjoying it, but I still enjoyed it a little bit here. | ||
| Was there blowback from the locals at all? | ||
| How do they feel about this older rich guy moving in and banging all these young hotties? | ||
| Well, I think the men, by and large, would like to figure out how I did it. | ||
| The women hated it. | ||
| They would look at me and then they would imagine their husbands in the same situation and suddenly I was the devil incarnate. | ||
| Yeah, isn't it funny that people give a shit about what you can pull off? | ||
| You know, like, shouldn't you be happy when you see a guy who's in his 60s who's managed to pick up some 20-year-old hot chicks? | ||
| Shouldn't everybody be happy that that's possible? | ||
| Why does one man success? | ||
| Well, I'm happy when I see anybody enjoying themselves and being happy because, my God, you know, the person next to you is just like yourself. | ||
| You know, we're not as separate as you think. | ||
| We are all each other. | ||
| And so the rational and sane person with a heart is always happy when they see another person happy. | ||
| That's why we smile when other people smile. | ||
| Yeah, what is it about other people's success that for some reason with weak-minded people, somehow or another they feel like it's taking away from them? | ||
| They want to attack you. | ||
| They want to attack you for your success. | ||
| A 67-year-old guy that can bang 20-year-old girls wins everywhere in the world. | ||
| Is there any protection that the U.S. offers in a situation like this? | ||
| Can you go to the embassy or whatever? | ||
| Yeah, that's a good question. | ||
| Of course I can go to the embassy. | ||
| The problem is... | ||
| Everybody has a false idea of how much power an embassy has. | ||
| It is a tiny little building in a foreign country. | ||
| I could go to the embassy. | ||
| There are two options afterwards. | ||
| I'd have to stay there forever, like Julian Asanga, or leave the embassy and face immediate arrest. | ||
| The embassy isn't going to go, hey, let this man out of prison. | ||
| They're going to say, F you! | ||
| You're a man of considerable resources. | ||
| I would think that a guy with your kind of wealth would at least be able to arrange for some sort of legal meeting with someone in the United States to help you get back. | ||
| Has that been done at all? | ||
| Well, you're assuming I want to get back, but as I stated earlier, I don't want to get back. | ||
| Even just to get to safety? | ||
| I do not want to leave. | ||
| Even just to get to safety? | ||
| I mean, while you're on the run? | ||
| You would rather stay on the run in Belize than be comfortable in America? | ||
| Just sort things out? | ||
| I don't think I'm going to be on the run forever. | ||
| In fact, I seriously do not think I'm going to be on the run for much longer. | ||
| What's the plan? | ||
| You know, the government is not stupid, and I know for a fact that tourism has to have been impacted by this affair, and not in a positive way, sir. | ||
| And given the fact that tourism is 70% of the economy, I believe that eventually common sense will prevail. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| And some accommodation will be reached. | ||
| So, do they have other suspects, or do you know what's going on with the case of the guy who was murdered? | ||
| Well, if they have other suspects, I don't think they're pursuing them. | ||
| You know, they still have not named me as the suspect. | ||
| They just named me as someone they want to talk to. | ||
| But this is police. | ||
| The last person who gave himself in for talking was a guy named Arthur Young. | ||
| They handcuffed his hands behind his back and shot him 14 times in a police van because they claimed, with his hands handcuffed behind his back, he attempted to wrestle a weapon away from one of the 10 officers in there with him. | ||
| Now, please, get a clue, people. | ||
| But yet you still want to live there. | ||
| This is amazing that you think that this can be worked out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because the officers themselves are not to blame. | |
| I'm not trying to blast the entire police department. | ||
| The average police policeman has a heart and is a decent person. | ||
| They're paid less than a dollar an hour, for Christ's sake. | ||
| So obviously they're going to be corrupt, not corrupt to the point that they have to augment their income in some fashion. | ||
| It's not the police. | ||
| It's a very few highly, very powerful, highly placed officials who are very powerful who have bled this country dry. | ||
| This is the problem, sir. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I know for a fact that people can be removed from office. | |
| That's what I was just going to say. | ||
| You're such a bad motherfucker. | ||
| Why don't you just run Belize? | ||
| You'll love it. | ||
| It's a great place. | ||
| I don't want to run Belize. | ||
| I don't want any power. | ||
| I want to fish and play and sun myself and enjoy my friendships. | ||
| And do it as the king of Belize. | ||
| No? | ||
| You could run it. | ||
| You have real true love for it. | ||
| A king of beliefs? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely not. | |
| Do you realize what a nightmare being a king would be, being a political person? | ||
| Good Lord. | ||
| Mr. McAfee? | ||
| I don't want that responsibility. | ||
| Mr. McAfee, I'm joking. | ||
| I don't really think that you could ever be the king of Belize. | ||
| Just joking, sir. | ||
| No, I understand that, but keep in mind, my humor may be stretched a little thin due to my circumstances and lack of sleep. | ||
| Oh, absolutely. | ||
| Oh, please. | ||
| You have been an amazing interview, and your character holds strong in this terrible situation that you find yourself in. | ||
| Keep it together admirably. | ||
| It was very good talking to you. | ||
| I really appreciate you taking the time and using your cell phone credits. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And before you leave, let me interrupt you. | |
| Whoismacafee.com? | ||
| Whoismacafee.com? | ||
| And our Twitter site is Official McAfee. | ||
| And McAfee, for the folks who don't know, is spelled M-C-A-F-E-E. M-C-A-F-E-E. Thank you very much. | ||
| So I thought it was McAfee all these years. | ||
| I called it McAfee over and over again. | ||
| It's McAfee. | ||
| Sorry about that. | ||
| Well, that's what my father said, so that's what I believe. | ||
| Listen, it's an honor to talk to you, sir. | ||
| I wish you all the best of luck down there, and I hope you can find safety and security and everything works out. | ||
| Thank you very much, Joe. | ||
| Official McAfee on Twitter and whoismcafee.com. | ||
| Thank you, sir. | ||
| Ride like the wind, my friend, and keep living that dream life. | ||
| Holla! | ||
| What was that like, Brian? | ||
| That was interesting. | ||
| Fascinating, right? | ||
| Yeah, I think it's really silly that he wants to stay there, though. | ||
| If I was him, I'd get the fuck out of there, deal with it from afar using lawyers or some other kind of way, and then return there when you can. | ||
| Because it seems like it just doesn't seem smart just to... | ||
| Well, it was very, it was like, conflicted. | ||
| Because he would tell you that it's so corrupt, and it's fucked up, and they murder people, and you turn yourself in, they shoot you in the van. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then he's like, but it is my home, and those people don't make a dollar an hour. | ||
| And it's like, they don't make a dollar an hour, so it's okay that they shoot people in a fucking van? | ||
| Like, what's going on here? | ||
| Like, he's all over the road. | ||
| And if that girl really said he was just going to slice her throat, she probably murdered the guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| You know? | ||
| She's like, well, this is money. | ||
| I'm not letting anyone get involved with this guy, you know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, he poisoned his dogs? | ||
| All right, bitch. | ||
| I'll go over and shoot you in the fucking head. | ||
| And poisoning, like, I want to know the dog... | ||
| I don't believe that the girl did it, though. | ||
| Yeah, I don't either. | ||
| But I want to know, like, the dog being poisoned and, like, this guy that has been shot, is there any DNA going on? | ||
| Is there any... | ||
| Well, actually, that's a good point. | ||
| I'll answer that. | ||
| There's one way to tell is they actually, when the guy was shot, they have a ballistics on the bullet, and then when the dogs were poisoned, McAfee had to put the dogs down. | ||
| So they actually dug up the dogs, cut the dogs' heads off, And they took the dogs' heads to forensics labs. | ||
| So they were trying to prove that the bullets that killed the guy are the same that killed the dogs, which would mean that McAfee... | ||
| But they haven't been able to do that. | ||
| And if they did, that would be, like, big news. | ||
| See, they can't fake that kind of science. | ||
| If McAfee has the gun, you can't... | ||
| That's ballistics. | ||
| You couldn't rig ballistics. | ||
| People would say, well, can we see the bullet? | ||
| What did you do? | ||
| Let's see the physical evidence. | ||
| Is there one hair of his at this guy's house? | ||
| Well, you know, it could be that he visited the guy. | ||
| That doesn't mean anything either. | ||
| They're neighbors, and they did have a dispute, so they did communicate. | ||
| But, you know, the other thing that I didn't buy was when he said that people who are dog lovers would never poison a dog. | ||
| There's some sociopathic assholes out there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah, yeah. | |
| That's not true. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| There's people that want their sleep and they're like, fuck it, I'm going to poison his dogs. | ||
| There's definitely people who have dogs who will poison your dogs. | ||
| That I didn't... | ||
| But the other thing is, like, he knows way too much about drugs. | ||
| I've never done drugs. | ||
| That was nuts. | ||
| What he's telling us, all the different compounds and the sexual hype stuff. | ||
| If you read the stuff online, folks, I think he said it's bluelight.com. | ||
| Let me Google it for you on Blue Light. | ||
| I don't know if it's true, but it is fucking fascinating. | ||
| The story of this guy cooking this shit up I mean, he says it's just horse shit. | ||
| He says he was fucking around and trolling. | ||
| Which I believe. | ||
| That dude could probably hack our computers. | ||
| I bet he could. | ||
| McAfee, come on. | ||
| And by the way, he obviously is a troll a little bit. | ||
| He does fuck around with people. | ||
| This whole thing could be a troll. | ||
| No, I don't think it is. | ||
| They're really looking for him. | ||
| But the yoga thing, you know? | ||
| If it was a troll, it's a brilliant way to start up maybe just a blog, to get people to listen and read his blog. | ||
| I bet millions of people are reading his fucking blog. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But Voodoo Chicken is the first guy who turned me on to it, and he put it on the Rogan board, and I read his take on it, and I was like, this is fucking bananas. | ||
| Like, this guy, if he really was doing that, was hyper-concentrating this drug, whatever the fuck it is, that makes you ridiculously hypersexual, you know? | ||
| And then taking it and fucking his 17-year-old girlfriend... | ||
| But the thing is, he does have a 17-year-old girlfriend. | ||
| At least he did have a 17-year-old girlfriend when he was doing this. | ||
| Now he's got a 20-year-old. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's 20? | |
| The new girl's 20? | ||
| The one who wanted to cut him into sleep. | ||
| She's 20. Just joked about cutting him into sleep, rather. | ||
| So he is obviously a little twisted. | ||
| Just period. | ||
| Sir? | ||
| Sir? | ||
| Nothing wrong with it. | ||
| Sir? | ||
| Nothing wrong with it. | ||
| Nothing wrong with it. | ||
| I mean, but he's, you know, he's acting as if he's all respectable and everything, but he's still banging 17-year-olds. | ||
| Like, he's not, I'm not saying that he's doing those drugs, but at least he knows a shitload about those drugs, he knows enough to talk about it, and he's banging a 17-year-old. | ||
| And if you're really rich and your neighbor's dogs are barking a lot. | ||
| Yeah, well... | ||
| See, that's just speculation. | ||
| Who knows what the fuck? | ||
| You know, who knows? | ||
| When it comes to that, who knows whether or not the guy poisoned his dog. | ||
| But I do know that... | ||
| You know, McAfee's... | ||
| He's out there having a great fucking time. | ||
| I don't think he's being completely honest about that whole drug thing. | ||
| He knows too much about that shit. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Maybe he is just trying to make boner pills. | ||
| I don't think that's what he's saying, though. | ||
| It doesn't give you boners. | ||
| It just makes you really horny. | ||
| It makes you rub yourself. | ||
| People were rubbing themselves raw, he was saying. | ||
| That was his description of it. | ||
| Which, again, could be fucking trolling. | ||
| It could be trolling. | ||
| I wish it wasn't, though. | ||
| It's much more fun to think that it's just some nutty, true story. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| The guy is quite a character. | ||
| But it's funny because he's not willing to... | ||
| He was upset that this guy had written this piece about him that made him out to be this wild fucking maniac. | ||
| But yet he's walking around shirtless with a fucking shotgun while they're taking pictures. | ||
| It's really hard to find pictures of you shirtless with a shotgun. | ||
| Shirtless, just period. | ||
| Yeah, but shirtless with a shotgun. | ||
| I keep my shirt on in the shower. | ||
| It's impossible to find a photo of you shirtless with a shotgun unless you're shirtless with a shotgun. | ||
| Yeah, and you own a shotgun. | ||
| Well, he does living in Belize, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's silly. | ||
| If you're living anywhere where you need a shotgun, it's probably not the most amazing place. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| I have a dock in front of my house? | ||
| Well, you can have a dock in front of your house in Ohio, you know? | ||
| In front of a lake. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| So, my internet problem over at my office sucks a fatty. | ||
| DSL. This is all I can get there, apparently. | ||
| No, you can definitely get some kind of cable solution. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It doesn't seem like they have it. | ||
| T5, T7. You might have to get something else, like a T3 or some shit. | ||
| T7. I don't even know how those work. | ||
| I don't think of those installed. | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| Those are expensive. | ||
| Stupid. | ||
| Stupid. | ||
| I'm in a bad spot. | ||
| No, you can get cable. | ||
| I'm sure there's a Time Warner or a charter. | ||
| But 4G internet, you can't do. | ||
| Like from cell phones and shit? | ||
| That's silly. | ||
| That's not strong enough? | ||
| No, and you'll run out of bandwidth immediately. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They would fuck you with that, too. | ||
| Isn't it funny how you can use all the bandwidth you want if you have an internet connection, but if you have a cellular internet connection, that shit's capped like a motherfucker. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not ready yet. | ||
| Well, you're just sharing it with too many. | ||
| If everyone was doing that, no one would have any... | ||
| Why would they be selling it to so many people if they don't have access for that many people? | ||
| They don't have access for people streaming Netflix. | ||
| Like, if everyone was streaming Netflix and doing video conferencing at the same... | ||
| That would be just ridiculous. | ||
| I don't think they should give you an open-ended device like a phone that has internet access on it and say you can only use it a certain amount. | ||
| I think that's stupid. | ||
| I think that to me... | ||
| And if everybody uses it at the same time, it doesn't work, then you're selling too many phones. | ||
| Because you don't have the backbone to deal with it. | ||
| Well, most of the time, most people aren't using it, so that's how we have it set up. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| That's like saying that you're going to put all your money in the bank, and then the bank only has like half your money there. | ||
| And then when people want it all at once, well, we don't have it. | ||
| Well, that's stupid. | ||
| What'd you do with my fucking money, you cunt? | ||
| They don't... | ||
| That's a bad analogy. | ||
| But... | ||
| Point stands, you shouldn't be selling a fucking cell phone with internet on it until you have the backbone to give everybody internet if they use it all at once. | ||
| That's how it should be. | ||
| It should be that everyone with a fucking cell phone can use it at an end time, all day long. | ||
| Every fucking cell phone could be downloading something big at the same time. | ||
| That's when you're ready. | ||
| That's when you're ready to sell it, you fuckheads. | ||
| They're selling it when it's not ready. | ||
| They're selling you some shit that's not quite there. | ||
| It's like, well, it's experimental. | ||
| It's almost there. | ||
| We're calling it 4G, but everybody can't use it at the same time. | ||
| So would you rather them not give it to us at all? | ||
| I'd rather them get their shit together. | ||
| Those motherfuckers. | ||
| This guy's... | ||
| McAfee's down there. | ||
| I guess he's using... | ||
| I don't know what kind of phone he's using. | ||
| Probably bank robber phones. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those portable ones that dudes get when they... | ||
| Well, wait. | ||
| He probably has satellite... | ||
| He's probably got... | ||
| You know, the dude from Virgin probably dropped him on creative satellite phones. | ||
| I wonder if he has any friends down there. | ||
| That's what's really interesting. | ||
| Or powerful friends. | ||
| I wonder how he's doing it. | ||
| It seems... | ||
| I mean, I did want to ask him how he's hiding, but he was pretty... | ||
| Open about certain aspects of it in other interviews, about coloring his face, like with shoe polish and shit, and putting stuff in his mouth to make it look like he's fat. | ||
| Well, I'm thinking that he was just straight up dressed up as a girl. | ||
| You know, I was thinking that. | ||
| That's a good move. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that would be obvious. | ||
| Not really. | ||
| I mean, his girlfriend has balls. | ||
| She just has balls in her personality, Brian. | ||
| You fucking 12-year-old. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| That would be funny if she had real balls. | ||
| That's got to suck though to be like almost 70 years old and fucking hiding. | ||
| Yeah, but it's also, come on man, just get out of there. | ||
| Are you being silly? | ||
| If you're living in a country that has those kind of laws, like the laws where they can arrest you for life, you don't want to live in that country. | ||
| Because if you do one thing wrong with it, you're going to go to prison. | ||
| It might be pretty outside, but you have to live in some kind of safe, no bullshit kind of government thing. | ||
| There has to be laws. | ||
| Yeah, I couldn't rock that. | ||
| I couldn't live down there where you gotta worry about being locked up. | ||
| That's almost ego for him staying there. | ||
| Well, he's obviously got a big ego. | ||
| He's a super successful guy. | ||
| All those super successful billionaire characters, they all have strong egos. | ||
| They all think they're bad motherfuckers. | ||
| They are. | ||
| That's how they got to be where they are. | ||
| And then they see all these monkeys that are asking him for millions of dollars and like, bitch, he ain't running me out of town. | ||
| That's where I live. | ||
| He's got his house there. | ||
| That's where he lives. | ||
| When you live somewhere for five fucking years, that is where you live. | ||
| But two million bucks, man? | ||
| They're asking for two million bucks? | ||
| That's gotta suck. | ||
| Someone knocks on your door and they ask you for two million dollars. | ||
| You're like, what? | ||
| Two million dollars is a lot of fucking money, even for a billionaire, to give to some political douche rag in a crazy little island that was founded by pirates. | ||
| I wonder what's going to happen here. | ||
| You know, you do that Ice House game where you watch a video and you pause it. | ||
| What happens next? | ||
| You pause it and you say, what happens next? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then you do a bunch of really fucked up endings to videos. | ||
| If you had to do that with this, if you had to pause this right now and say, what happens next, what would be your guess? | ||
| He gets arrested. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why do you think so? | ||
| Well, I mean, it's just getting sloppy for him, I think. | ||
| Unless Belich has a donkey in their government office, just sitting there with a bucket, a donkey, and they're like, alright, let's find this guy. | ||
| I don't know how, is this place high-tech at all? | ||
| Do they have a real government? | ||
| Do they have a real... | ||
| You know, like, FBI-type thing going on there? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| I don't even know how big Belize is. | ||
| Yeah, like, it could be, like, the whole, you know, people looking for him could be, like, two guys in a jeep, you know? | ||
| Yeah, that's true, right? | ||
| It could be, like, the Iraqi army before he invaded... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just listening to this whole interview, I heard sounds in the background. | ||
| At one point, it sounded like somebody was tapping a bowl out. | ||
| I heard what sounded like a dog at one point. | ||
| If there was a guy really looking for this person, I'm sure they could probably decipher background noises in interviews and IP addresses. | ||
| Really? | ||
| That phone number that he called from has to have an IP address or some kind of, like, you know, it's using a cell phone tower. | ||
| And this place isn't, you know... | ||
| He's a clever guy, though. | ||
| I'm sure he's masking it somehow. | ||
| It must be satellite. | ||
| Well, he's on the ball as far as, like, technology is concerned. | ||
| I bet being a virus... | ||
| The manufacturer of virus software, one of the biggest virus software companies on the planet, that guy must be so technologically literate. | ||
| He must know how to mask things and hide things. | ||
| I wonder how much McAfee and Norton created virus in the 90s and 2000s. | ||
| They created a company. | ||
| I mean, if you think about it, it's like, hey, there's these things called viruses, see? | ||
| And we have the way to stop them, you know? | ||
| I actually never considered that, but that would be good business. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| That would be smart business if you could do that. | ||
| He probably is trolling all of us with this virus shit. | ||
| He invented viruses, came up with virus protection software. | ||
| Yeah, he's a badass motherfucker. | ||
| Yeah, bath salts and 17-year-olds. | ||
| This drug, I want to know more about this fucking drug, because I've never heard of it before, this situation, because I'd never known that there was anything that makes you hypersexual. | ||
| Well, those dick pills I take... | ||
| Yeah, but those just make your dick hard, right? | ||
| They make it not go away, though. | ||
| They make you not be able to cum. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, and it's just like, all right, I have a... | ||
| What? | ||
| Well, I've been doing a lot of research on them lately, and what happens is... | ||
| The first couple hours you take them, you can get hard quick and it's like it lasts a little long, but you can come on it. | ||
| But if you try to fuck like six hours later, it's like you have a morning boner that won't go away and you can't come at all. | ||
| What is in it that makes your dick hard? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think it's ants. | ||
| It's something extracted from ants and it's called Hot Rod 5000. It really works, but it really works. | ||
| I recommend it for special occasions, but that shit's rough. | ||
| When you have a hard-on that won't stop, when you can't cum, it's great if you have a 17-year-old girl and you're running away doing yoga, and you're fucking her in a gutter. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| See, this thing about McAfee, I don't know how much of it is really trolling, or if he ever did do this stuff. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it's pretty funny that it's McAfee. | ||
| I mean, the whole thing sounds like a humongous troll. | ||
| I mean, I haven't done any research, so I have no idea if any of this is true. | ||
| But what if it was, you know, just... | ||
| Dude, that's a great troll. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| What if it's Norton? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know, man. | ||
| The whole thing, this MDPV. Have you ever heard of this before? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's recently banned in the U.S., but it's legal in Belize. | ||
| It belongs to a class of drugs called cathinones, a natural source of which is... | ||
| The East African plant CAT. You know what K-H-A-T is? | ||
| That's that shit that those guys take, the Somali pirates. | ||
| They chew this stuff called CAT. And it's like an amphetamine. | ||
| They chew it and they fucking go berserker. | ||
| If the fact that it's called CAT just makes me think this is more of a troll. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| The actual drug is a long... | ||
| It's more of a joke, right? | ||
| More evidence of simulation theory. | ||
| MDPV is serious shit to explain his paranoia. | ||
| So one of them on the website wrote his paranoia and erraticness. | ||
| I've been through that. | ||
| I played with MDPV for about two weeks. | ||
| Then I started seeing shadow people in the corner of my eye and what amphetamine heads called tree cops. | ||
| It's essentially really fucked up meth. | ||
| I forgot to ask him about this. | ||
| He had some thing where he called into a guy from I think it was a guy from Wired that he was talking to. | ||
| It might have been this Josh guy that he hates now. | ||
| And told him that the cops were outside and that there was like 30 of them standing on the beach outside of his condo. | ||
| And he couldn't move because they would shoot him. | ||
| So he just stood there and they stood there and no one said anything for hours. | ||
| And they went away at like 4 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| And he's like, it was fucking really weird. | ||
| Really weird. | ||
| And so to escape, he climbed into his neighbor's balcony. | ||
| And his neighbor found him covered in his own urine. | ||
| What? | ||
| That's the official story. | ||
| Asleep and pissed all over himself. | ||
| That's the story. | ||
| Now whether or not... | ||
| I wanted to ask him whether or not that was true. | ||
| Because if he was suffering from extreme paranoia and this statement that he gave explaining that these cops were out there and they were just standing there staring at him and no one said anything... | ||
| And he couldn't move because if he moved, they were going to shoot him. | ||
| And he was talking about his shoulders killing him because he was leaning up against it and he dared not move. | ||
| And then finally at like 4.30 in the morning, they just like went away. | ||
| It was like, what kind of a crazy story is that? | ||
| I forgot to ask him about that one. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| I think the dudes might be on the MDPV, although I don't want to be arrested. | ||
| He's got some bitchin' tattoos, though. | ||
| Look at those tribes. | ||
| Sexy as fuck. | ||
| I don't want to be sued. | ||
| Would that be ironic if he sued us? | ||
| He said he's coming to get you a few times. | ||
| Yeah, he did warn me. | ||
| I don't really believe he's on that shit. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know what MDPV actually does. | ||
| But he was saying that you can't do it and not get addicted to it. | ||
| But apparently that's not necessarily true. | ||
| Like this guy was saying that he did it for two weeks and he stopped doing it and he was writing a report on it. | ||
| There's a lot of reports in this shit. | ||
| This guy, Paul Early, is an addiction specialist and he warns about the dangers of MDPV. He says, our experience clearly warns of the psychiatric addiction. | ||
| and medical dangers of this drug. | ||
| We have cared for multiple patients who have abused MDPV, and they report intense and unpleasant visual hallucinations after a short binge. | ||
| The drug feels non-toxic with its first use, but following a moderate binge, users suffer from mild to moderate paranoia in about 10% of individuals who have So this guy is just outright saying on Gizmodo that he used this stuff. | ||
| Even though McAfee is saying that it's all a troll. | ||
| I think even if you don't know it's a troll, you have to say that McAfee says it's a troll. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Don't you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I'm more... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| I want to believe this guy, but... | ||
| It just makes no sense. | ||
| There's a lot of things in this story that just like a common sense person would be like, okay, no, I'm going to the U.S. Embassy. | ||
| No, I'm going to escape and figure this out. | ||
| I am not going to be living in wherever he's living. | ||
| Yeah, you would say I gotta get in a boat and I'm gonna fucking go to Cuba. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Or whatever's close. | ||
| Where's Belize? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| How far away is that shit? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Is it South America? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| You son of a bitch. | ||
| I'll tell you what, in the Belize picture, if you go to Belize.com, it's all just white people. | ||
| White people holding hands. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| White people barefoot with their feet up. | ||
| Isn't it? | ||
| Having a time of their life, white people. | ||
| Is Belize connected to the United States in a way? | ||
| Are they our buddies? | ||
| Yeah, isn't it supposed to be like a Puerto Rican kind of thing? | ||
| No. | ||
| Or am I thinking of somewhere other? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Wow, $199 flight to Belize. | ||
| That's pretty cheap. | ||
| Whoa, $149. | ||
| That's pretty cheap. | ||
| That is cheap. | ||
| Where the fuck is Belize? | ||
| It says the specific properties of the drugs that he was attempting to isolate. | ||
| This is all in the Gizmodo article, by the way. | ||
| I take no credit for this. | ||
| The specific properties of the drugs he was attempting to isolate also fit in well with what those closest to him have reported, that he is an enthusiastic amateur pharmacologist with a long-standing interest in drugs that induce sexual behavior in women. | ||
| Indeed, former friends of McAfee have said he could be extremely persistent and devious in trying to coerce women who rebuff his advances to have sex with them. | ||
| See, that's just like... | ||
| When you see an article like that... | ||
| Written about someone like that? | ||
| That seems to me like you have to have examples. | ||
| You can't just say that. | ||
| Because you can say anything about anybody. | ||
| I can say that about you. | ||
| I could say Brian Redman has been known to be extremely vindictive in women who ignore his advances. | ||
| And he's an amateur pharmacologist. | ||
| You have to have evidence to say some creepy shit like that, don't you? | ||
| Well, I mean, he did have a chemical lab in his house when they raided it, didn't they? | ||
| Yeah, but if he's telling the truth that he was using it to make an antiseptic, A natural antiseptic. | ||
| I mean, I don't know. | ||
| Who the fuck knows what the guy does? | ||
| Who does that? | ||
| Not me, but whoever invented antiseptics in the first place. | ||
| I mean, who has a lab that does anything? | ||
| If you're living in the rainforest, which I think Belize is like a rainforest, all of the medical, like, modern medical breakthroughs, not all of them, but a big percentage of them, come from plants that are discovered in remote rainforests. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, He did say that he was just walking around picking out plants by the creek and stuff. | ||
| There's a lot of people that fucking trip on plants, you know? | ||
| They love botany, you know? | ||
| Terence McKenna was a botanist. | ||
| I think there's a lot of people that become in love with the idea of these different fascinating plants. | ||
| I mean, plants are really... | ||
| I mean, if we found them on other planets, we'd be shitting our fucking pants. | ||
| There's so many weird plants on this planet. | ||
| There's a flower that just bloomed recently. | ||
| I guess it doesn't bloom very often, but it's the world's largest flower. | ||
| You should get a picture of it. | ||
| I think it's in Australia. | ||
| It looks crazy. | ||
| It looks like some fucking alien thing from Little Shop of Horrors, one of those little things that eats people. | ||
| Yeah, it doesn't even look real. | ||
| And apparently it smells like rotting flesh. | ||
| Ew, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Plants are creepy as fuck, man. | ||
| There's plants that eat things. | ||
| There's plants that trick rats into falling in them, and then they close up on the rats and digest them. | ||
| This thing? | ||
| No, that's not it. | ||
| There's, uh, world's largest flower blooms. | ||
| If you just, uh, just Google world's largest flower blooms. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's not blooms. | ||
| On Easter Day? | ||
| No, that's not it. | ||
| It was really recent. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| It was really recent. | ||
| Yes, that's it. | ||
| Look at the size of that thing. | ||
| It's in Switzerland. | ||
| Look at the size of that thing. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| It's like corn on the cob cock. | ||
| Yeah, it does look like a corn on the cob. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Look at the size of it, though. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| And it grows like a dick. | ||
| It sprouts, and the dick pops out, and the flowers underneath it. | ||
| I mean, it is... | ||
| When I say huge, I mean, how many feet is that? | ||
| Well, it's tall, about, looks like 12 feet, maybe? | ||
| At least, yeah, it's towering over these people that are looking at it. | ||
| Does it say there how tall it is? | ||
| 2.27 meters tall. | ||
| Okay, so it's only like 6 feet. | ||
| A meter's three feet, right? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| 2.2? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think a meter's three feet. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Amazing, though. | ||
| So it must be on a platform, so it makes it look even bigger. | ||
| But God, it's fucking incredible. | ||
| The variations. | ||
| How big is 2.27 meters? | ||
| Oh, did you ask Siri? | ||
| Siri doesn't know shit. | ||
| Watch Siri fuck this up. | ||
| Looking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Looking. | |
| Are you confused, bitch? | ||
| This might answer your question. | ||
| Yeah, it's 7.4 feet. | ||
| Finally, Siri. | ||
| Siri got something right. | ||
| Siri's been upgraded a lot lately. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| You could even buy movie tickets now. | ||
| You'd just be like, I want closest tickets now. | ||
| Buy them. | ||
| Do you have to have an app that it connects to to do that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Does it have to have your cell phone, your credit card stored on your phone? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You don't know shit. | ||
| I haven't done it. | ||
| How do you know it works? | ||
| I just saw it on... | ||
| Because you're an Apple fanboy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Say it! | |
| I'm an Apple fanboy! | ||
| Say it! | ||
| You're supposed to get that new phone soon. | ||
| Oh, cool. | ||
| First time I ever got one of those hard drives, the SSD hard drives. | ||
| That's the only way to go in the future. | ||
| They're beautiful. | ||
| Ten times faster than on rendering audio that I'm doing on. | ||
| And they're supposed to be more reliable, like they don't break as easy. | ||
| I've had a bunch of hard drives fail. | ||
| Shit's annoying. | ||
| All of a sudden your beach ball is just spinning on your desktop and you're like, what the fuck's going on? | ||
| If there was a machine and you were held down and strapped in, and the answer, the real answer to this guy McAfee, you know, is he guilty or not guilty? | ||
| And if you had to choose one, and if you choose wrong, a huge black dick goes shoved in your mouth and he comes in you. | ||
| Which one would you pick? | ||
| I don't think he killed anybody. | ||
| You don't think he killed anyone? | ||
| I might be wrong. | ||
| So that would be your answer, not guilty? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| If I had to make an answer of not guilty or guilty, I would say not guilty. | ||
| But I don't have, you know... | ||
| It's a stupid answer. | ||
| It's like, I don't have any information. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Like, to be connected to yes or no is, to me, seems a silly choice. | ||
| Like, there's a lot of people that make choices about shit, you know, whether someone's guilty or not guilty, and they get all Nancy Grace on things. | ||
| And, you know, and sometimes they're fucking wrong. | ||
| Like, Nancy Grace was with the Duke Lacrosse case. | ||
| You know, those guys were innocent, and there was a rape. | ||
| And Nancy Grace, like, for days was on TV accusing them of doing it. | ||
| Meanwhile, they were set up. | ||
| They didn't do shit. | ||
| It was all false accusation, and eventually the charges were dropped. | ||
| But Nancy Grace was committed to it on her show! | ||
| Because it's salacious, because it looks like that's the... | ||
| That's a good thing to be upset about. | ||
| There's too much fuckery in this world. | ||
| Too much fuckery to know exactly what's going on unless you were there. | ||
| You gotta really look at all the parts. | ||
| And for this guy, who the fuck knows what happened? | ||
| Who knows what he's doing? | ||
| If he really was doing that MDPV... And somebody killed your dog and your high-arm fucking boner medicine? | ||
| Well, right there. | ||
| Hold on, right there. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| If that guy really was doing MDPV and all those people on Gizmodo are telling the truth, or the guy on Gizmodo is telling the truth about all the people he talked to, then the guy's a liar. | ||
| And everything he says has to be questioned. | ||
| Everything he says. | ||
| If he really never has done that MDPV, then we could look at him and go, wow, maybe this guy's being set up. | ||
| But if he has done it and he lied about that, just on this show, if he told that false version of himself, for any reason... | ||
| You know, you can't trust him anymore. | ||
| The way he doesn't want to leave, like, no, I will not pay too much. | ||
| Like, he's got this, you know, edge to him where it makes me think that if he was high on some kind of fucking drug or whatever, and somebody killed your dogs. | ||
| You know, and you're a guy that has a machine gun and you don't like shirts much and you're high on this shit. | ||
| I could see him just raging going like, no, you don't know who you fucked with, you know? | ||
| Maybe, but who knows? | ||
| If he's telling the truth, then I don't know. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Killing your dogs will make people rage. | ||
| That's like a child to a lot of people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| If I had to guess though, I would guess apparently he knew a lot of bad people down there. | ||
| He hung out with a lot of gangsters in Belize, which is probably a smart move. | ||
| You're a rich guy. | ||
| Surround yourself with thug-like characters. | ||
| He doesn't seem like he would hang out with thugs. | ||
| He seems like he would hang out with yoga dudes. | ||
| Well, at least in that one photo that we were showing during the thing, but then that other photo where he has the gun, he kind of looks like, okay, that guy's craziness. | ||
| I bet he would have been a fun dude to hang around with before all this shit went down. | ||
| I bet he still is. | ||
| But who knows, man? | ||
| I want to know what this airplane thing is that looks like a motorcycle. | ||
| Is that what he said? | ||
| Like a kite? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| What the fuck did he call it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
McAfee... | |
| Airplane butthole. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, don't look up that. | ||
| Airplane... | ||
| Accident? | ||
| Accident. | ||
| It's... | ||
| It sounds like wild, nutty fun to get on some kind of a fucking motorcycle-like kite. | ||
| Yeah, I wouldn't do it. | ||
| With you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, what is the... | ||
| I wonder what the fuck it is. | ||
| Yeah, plagued by lawsuits, even like way before this, in 2010, it talked about him hiding in Belize. | ||
| And now he hopes to give something back by deriving antibiotics from jungle plants in Belize. | ||
| Seems like he's definitely a dude who likes attention. | ||
| It was pretty easy to get him to come on the podcast and talk. | ||
| There must be part of him that's enjoying a little bit of this notoriety he's experiencing here. | ||
| Or he just wants to make us and everybody know about it, kind of like a news type thing, because the more people know about it, if he does get caught, people are going to be like, what? | ||
| Oh yeah, no doubt, that too. | ||
| No doubt that too. | ||
| The whole thing is, I mean, the fact that he wouldn't see how it being a personality piece would lead people to pay more attention to it. | ||
| He's smiling with this fucking gun in his hand, looking straight at the camera. | ||
| By the way, it's not just one photo of him like that. | ||
| If you look at the photos of him online, like the first three, if you look under his McAfee photo images, the first three are of him topless with guns. | ||
| He's quite a character, though, man. | ||
| I would have loved to have hung out with him before all this. | ||
| He seems like a fun guy to talk to. | ||
| I bet you get a little drunk with him. | ||
| He's got some great stories. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| You know, that's that thing that people talk about doing. | ||
| Go down to small island country somewhere and just live out my life. | ||
| Just ride my boat around and living right by the water. | ||
| But how many people actually fucking do that? | ||
| Very few. | ||
| You have to be some special kind of weird motherfucker to actually go through with that. | ||
| Become an expat and just kick back on the beach and not even know people there. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's kind of cool that we got to talk to him. | ||
| It was one of the things that I was saying yesterday when we were talking to Shane Smith. | ||
| One of the selfish reasons for starting this podcast is I want to have conversations with these people. | ||
| I want to have conversations with guys like Dave Asprey. | ||
| I can't just get them to have a conversation with me. | ||
| But to have a conversation where you broadcast it, all of a sudden it's fairly easy to get a hold of people. | ||
| It seems like that would be the opposite. | ||
| People would be less likely to talk for you for hours on end if they knew it was being broadcast. | ||
| But actually, that's not the case. | ||
| Dennis McKenna is coming on the podcast soon. | ||
| The brother of Terrence McKenna. | ||
| He's got a book out about his time with his brother. | ||
| And by all accounts, it's a pretty badass book. | ||
| And we'll probably have Mitch Schultz will be joining him, who is the producer of DMT, The Spirit Molecule. | ||
| So we'll talk science, psychedelic compounds, and his brother, the great Terence McKenna. | ||
| And Dennis is a fascinating guy, too. | ||
| He had a—well, I don't want to tell the story, but there's some great accounts of his own psychedelic experiences that maybe he'll get into. | ||
| He had some fairly psychotic episode where I don't think he—I think he lost his sanity for a couple weeks. | ||
| Off of DMT? No, off of Mushrooms. | ||
| In the Amazon. | ||
| Yeah, it's supposed to be a pretty intense story. | ||
| Hopefully he'll tell it to us. | ||
| Terrence talked about it in depth in some of his books. | ||
| And then we got Duncan Trussell tomorrow and Eddie Bravo on Thursday. | ||
| The next two, hopefully, will be in the new studio if we could figure out a way to work out that fucking shitbag internet connection. | ||
| You would think that in this day and age there would be more options. | ||
| There is options. | ||
| I bet you there is options there. | ||
| I think I might have to get a T3 line installed. | ||
| No, we just need to call Time Warner or the other one. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| My business manager is saying that they're having a hard time finding... | ||
| Your business manager also said DSO got you DSO. Well, they got me DSO because that was the only option available. | ||
| Yeah, but you can't even do a studio on DSL. I mean, he should be like, wait, look. | ||
| He doesn't know what a studio entails. | ||
| How do they know? | ||
| How the fuck are they supposed to know? | ||
| What I'm saying, these guys should know. | ||
| Well, how should... | ||
| DSL's the most important thing on a studio. | ||
| But if you say, if it's the fastest internet you have, they go, okay, we'll take it. | ||
| And then you get it, and it sucks a fat dick. | ||
| You don't know until you try it. | ||
| Most people have no idea. | ||
| I didn't know it wouldn't be adequate. | ||
| If you said three megabytes download, I'd be like, all right, that sounds good. | ||
| How did I know that? | ||
| It's like double a T1 line. | ||
| A T1 is like 1.5 megabytes. | ||
| We have a 120 gig download here, and you had a 3. Our upload here is, I think, 40 meg upload. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You had 7. Less than 1. Less than 1. Yeah, that's whack. | |
| Weak-ass bitches. | ||
| You gotta fix it, AT&T U-verse. | ||
| Get a fat pipe to my office or heads will roll. | ||
| No. | ||
| Actually, I'll just cancel. | ||
| I need to find what all the options are as far as dedicated lines. | ||
| Like when they do an ISDN line, when someone has to do the radio. | ||
| I know people who have radio studios, they have a dedicated line. | ||
| I'm pretty sure that kind of shit's not as good as... | ||
| No, it's terrible, but I'm saying I wonder if they can do that with like a T1 or a T3. Not a T1. T1's not good enough, but like a T3 line or something like that. | ||
| You just need fiber. | ||
| That's all you need. | ||
| They don't have it, though. | ||
| They have cable or fiber. | ||
| Not in my area. | ||
| Not in the area where my office is. | ||
| No, AT&T doesn't. | ||
| No one does. | ||
| How do you know that? | ||
| Because they've looked. | ||
| They just sent me an email explaining all the different shit that they don't have. | ||
| No cable, no this, no that. | ||
| They don't expect people to want anything better than this in those areas. | ||
| Most people, their regular businesses just involve sending emails and shit. | ||
| So you're saying that for sure there's no cable or there's no fiber through Time Warmer or any of the other companies? | ||
| Time Warmer? | ||
| Time Warner or AT&T? No. | ||
| Charter? | ||
| No. | ||
| Those fucks. | ||
| That seems impossible. | ||
| Yeah, it seems like it. | ||
| But it's true. | ||
| If that's true, you're screwed. | ||
| I'm fucked. | ||
| But 4G cellular is not good enough. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I don't even think of 4G. That's a cell phone. | ||
| Ladies and gentlemen out there listening, surely you must have some sort of a fucking solution. | ||
| Move your office. | ||
| I can't now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit. | |
| That would suck. | ||
| That was the one thing I told you. | ||
| I was like, before you get it, make sure they have fast dinner. | ||
| That's the most important thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| They said they did. | ||
| Those fucks. | ||
| We'll work it out, freaks. | ||
| We'll work it out. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I don't believe your business manager. | ||
| It's not their fault. | ||
| I don't believe it. | ||
| No, I don't believe them. | ||
| You don't have to. | ||
| I believe that there's... | ||
| Well, we'll get off the phone and we'll figure it out, okay? | ||
| Get off the phone. | ||
| We'll get off the line. | ||
| Anything else you want to add? | ||
| This weekend, we're going to be in Austin, Texas. | ||
| That should be a fucking blast. | ||
| It's a quick weekend. | ||
| In and out, you freaks. | ||
| And then next weekend, I am... | ||
| The following weekend, we're in Seattle at the... | ||
| What the fuck is the name of the comedy club? | ||
| The Pauler Live. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| It's in Bellevue, Washington. | ||
| I emailed you about that. | ||
| Did you put that on the tour? | ||
| I haven't checked my email. | ||
| Check your email, son. | ||
| Do you check your email? | ||
| I'm starting not to check my email now. | ||
| Voicemail died recently for me. | ||
| Regular mail. | ||
| I don't do regular mail anymore. | ||
| Voicemails. | ||
| I don't like listening to voicemails now. | ||
| If I have a voicemail on my phone, I don't even look at it. | ||
| And now, recently, email. | ||
| I'm giving up on email. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I like email. | ||
| It's too much. | ||
| It is too much, though. | ||
| After a while, it gets crazy. | ||
| Too much shit, too much... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, I know what you're talking about, man. | ||
| It's just overwhelming how much shit you can get thrown at you that you have to pay attention to. | ||
| That was one of the best things about going camping, is that for five days, no phone calls, no emails, no nothing. | ||
| It's one of the nicest things to have a little break, a little reset. | ||
| I actually look forward to getting emails after that. | ||
| My new favorite thing on the phone, I don't know if you've used this on the iPhone, is the Do Not Disturb. | ||
| So at night, you just click on this Do Not Disturb button. | ||
| No phone calls, no texts, but you still have internet and shit like that. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Because I would be getting phone calls, like I'll set my alarm to wake me up, and then I'll get a phone call at like 2 in the morning, you know, and I'll be like, oh, what the fuck, and it'll wake me up. | ||
| Or somebody will send me a stupid text, you know, at 6 in the morning. | ||
| So that's what Do Not Disturb is? | ||
| Yeah, it just turns everything off. | ||
| But everything still comes in, so it's not like you have it on airplane mode. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It doesn't give you any warnings. | ||
| Yeah, it just turns all that shit off. | ||
| Does it still light up? | ||
| Like, does it get brighter? | ||
| I think it depends on it. | ||
| See, I have all text messages turned off, all notifications turned off on my phone, everything turned off on my phone now. | ||
| I don't even like a window popping up, because I was just getting in too much trouble when I was dating. | ||
| You know, there'd be like a text that'd pop up like, hey, what are you doing tonight, honey? | ||
| And then they're like, oh, who's this? | ||
| You know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| It was just getting me in too much trouble. | ||
| So, do not disturb is the way out of that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I just turn off all notifications. | ||
| So, like, if I get a text... | ||
| You should shut your fucking phone off. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I'm about to. | ||
| Are you getting that way at all? | ||
| Like, I'm starting, like, I don't want... | ||
| Like, I'm turning into Joey Diaz. | ||
| Like, I'm going backwards. | ||
| I want to get just a pager. | ||
| Well, there's something to be said for not, you know, when you're constantly interacting with people all day long, you have no time to reflect. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You have no time to think for yourself. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're just constantly dealing with other people's requests for, you know, hey, I got a question. | ||
| Hey, what's up? | ||
| Hey, what's going on? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| You want to do this? | ||
| You want to do that? | ||
| What's the plan? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Constantly, can you call me? | ||
| I got this going on. | ||
| After a while, if you're in the loop of communicating with a bunch of different people all the time, you're constantly responding to things. | ||
| Text messages. | ||
| Sometimes I get in this text message thing where three dudes are texting me at the same time. | ||
| And so you're texting them trying to answer questions or talk to them about shit. | ||
| And then another one comes in from the other guy, and then you hit that. | ||
| How many times do you banter back and forth, too? | ||
| Girls are brutal. | ||
| Yeah, if you're going to fight with a girl over a text message and they're just writing paragraph after paragraph... | ||
| And you have to, like, respond to it. | ||
| You have to, like, go back and read and write. | ||
| And then when you're done, she has another paragraph loaded and ready. | ||
| At least you can do is email me, you crazy bitch. | ||
| Writing it in a text form is rude. | ||
| And, you know, and by the way, that's what you're doing for the next few hours. | ||
| Good luck with that. | ||
| You know, instead of having a phone call or meeting person to person, talking this shit out. | ||
| Oh my god, you said... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Drama for your mama. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| There's got to be a way out of this, Brian. | ||
| Got to be a way to positive thinking. | ||
| Is it police? | ||
| Police. | ||
| Well, the website shows a lot of white people holding hands. | ||
| Perfect. | ||
| And that's what I want to do. | ||
| I want to hold hands with white people and walk on the beach. | ||
| And I want to have no shoes on and be relaxed enough to be staring at the water through my toes. | ||
| With my 17-year-old hottie. | ||
| Yeah, while on bath salts. | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
| According to Gizmodo. | ||
| I trust Gizmodo. | ||
| I trust John McAfee. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Had a conversation with him. | ||
| He was a hell of a nice guy. | ||
| I detected no hint of bath salts in our conversation. | ||
| Shit felt legit. | ||
| I felt like he was really there with me. | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| He's got a good point about those cops making a dollar an hour. | ||
| Maybe if someone paid him $20 an hour, they wouldn't have shot that guy 14 times in a van. | ||
| He should just fucking pay all the cops. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's so stupid. | |
| Well, I think he tried to do that. | ||
| I think he had his own sort of an army. | ||
| And that's one of the things. | ||
| They try to stop compounds in governments before they start. | ||
| So when you start seeing a dude accumulate dogs and guns and you want to move in... | ||
| Send a fucking sniff troop into the meth lab. | ||
| See what's being cooked up there. | ||
| Legal or illegal. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| But this MDPV stuff. | ||
| Not legal in America anymore. | ||
| But legal in believes. | ||
| Although it doesn't matter because that's not what he was doing, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| He's researching. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So they have a picture of this plane thing. | ||
| It's pretty crazy. | ||
| It really does look like a motorcycle with a kite on top of it. | ||
| And his nephew died in this thing with a 61 year old passenger. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| They had been flying in clean, smooth air with plenty of altitude, McAfee told me, when suddenly they went into a spiral dive and crashed into the ground. | ||
| The terrain was so rugged that the sheriff's deputies took a helicopter to the top of the ridge and hiked down to retrieve the bodies, leaving. | ||
| leaving the wreckage where it lay. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Sounds like it's dangerous as fuck, but it's dangerous as fuck to do a lot of Skydiving is dangerous as fuck. | ||
| Those bodysuits. | ||
| Have you ever seen that video where the guy's on that wingsuit and he crashes? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ooh, that looks horrifying. | ||
| Those wingsuits are horrifying to begin with. | ||
| That guy's fucked up, too. | ||
| I mean, I think he broke, like, every bone in his body. | ||
| He lived. | ||
| But you're flying, you know, like, who knows? | ||
| Like, it's like 100 miles an hour or something. | ||
| It's pretty crazy how fast those things go. | ||
| And you clip the ground and you just go for a mad tumble. | ||
| But that's legal. | ||
| Can't sue anybody for that. | ||
| Can't sue anybody for hand gliding? | ||
| I don't think. | ||
| Unless you rent a fucking hand glide and it snaps in half. | ||
| Then maybe your family can sue the rental company for not maintaining it. | ||
| But if you die in a hand gliding accident because of some crazy wind, you know, situation... | ||
| You're lucky you're not addicted to video games anymore, because I got something that you would go crazy on. | ||
| What? | ||
| It's a suitcase, and when you open it up, and it's travel approved, when you open it up, there's a 19-inch monitor, a sound system, there's lights, you put your Xbox in there, or your PS3, and this is the Star Wars Xbox, and you travel with it. | ||
| The sound is loud. | ||
| It's got blue lights all around it. | ||
| At night it glows. | ||
| It's 1080p. | ||
| It's games. | ||
| That looks incredible. | ||
| What is it called? | ||
| It's games all in one. | ||
| I have a YouTube video of it. | ||
| See, the problem with all that shit is that If you're going to play a fucking game, you should have the most accurate input devices. | ||
| And when you're playing games and you have those stupid... | ||
| For the games that you're used to playing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But see, these games are designed not for mouse and keyboard. | ||
| They're designed for the controller. | ||
| But you don't get as much accuracy. | ||
| Why would you not want a mouse and a keyboard? | ||
| Once you play with a mouse and a keyboard... | ||
| Oh, you have it there? | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| Yeah, this is it right here. | ||
| Did they send you one of these things? | ||
| No, I bought it. | ||
| I bought it for the studio because we do so many video game podcasts at Death Squad that I was like, we should have a unit here so we can play video games and show people. | ||
| Do you have it here right now? | ||
| No, I didn't bring it today. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| There's a video of you playing with it. | ||
| So, how many games did you play on this? | ||
| I've only been playing Call of Duty, and I haven't even been playing much because I've been busy. | ||
| And how's it look? | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| It looks great? | ||
| It's great. | ||
| It's got two headphone jacks in the front of it, so you can play online and have your own headphones plugged in. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| It has an HDMI port in it, so if you wanted to, you can also hook a PS3 or a Nintendo Wii or whatever... | ||
| You can hook it up to a television. | ||
| Yeah, and they have a 15-inch version that they sell at Best Buy and stuff. | ||
| This is their new 19-inch Halo Special Edition version. | ||
| It's the first time they have a 19-inch monitor in it and stuff like that. | ||
| But I have a video showing it if you go to YouTube.com backslash Let's Find Jesus. | ||
| Let's Find Jesus is just all my tech review shit like I do. | ||
| I'll do the teen phone service. | ||
| Does anybody ever get pissed at your YouTube name? | ||
| Let's Find Jesus? | ||
| No, but I think they were more pissed at letsfindjesus.com. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because it was a website that sells religious things that I made a long time ago when me and McAfee used to troll people. | ||
| Let's find Jesus.com. | ||
| Does it sell things? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What does it sell? | ||
| Like Jesus' hair? | ||
| Yeah, Jesus' hair from the barber shop. | ||
| This is Black Jesus. | ||
| Jesus stealing a baby drawing. | ||
| It's a painting of Jesus stealing a baby. | ||
| And you sell these? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No. | ||
| I've never sold one, actually, but it's been on every... | ||
| Are they actually for sale, though? | ||
| I guess if somebody bought it... | ||
| No, they're not for sale. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, what the fuck, dude? | ||
| Don't say that. | ||
| What was the mix CD? Jesus' mix CD? It's a bunch of songs I wrote about a long time ago about Jesus and Mary and Noah. | ||
| Is this the sex song? | ||
| Noah, Noah Don't, don't forget to bring Oh, this is Don't Forget to Bring the Lovebirds on the Boat, Noah, for Mary. | ||
| Play it. | ||
| No, it's embarrassing. | ||
| It's embarrassing. | ||
| Play it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don't forget to bring the lovebirds on the boat for Mary. | |
| And there's a lot, like there's a remix, there's a ton of remix versions. | ||
| Is there other songs? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Or is that the same song? | ||
| It's remix versions of that. | ||
| Of the same theme? | ||
| - Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
- Now I know, I know that you didn't bring the lovebirds for Mary. | |
| - It's so stupid. | ||
| You know, by the way, that's not any more ridiculous than any of the other songs I hear on one of those serious XF, XM, like the coffee house. | ||
| Oh, right, right. | ||
| You know, half of those fucking really emo songs. | ||
| Check this out. | ||
| This is another thing I just reviewed. | ||
| This is the Logitech Wi-Fi webcam. | ||
| And what it does is it connects to your Wi-Fi network and then you have a wireless webcam and it has a button on it that you push that automatically starts streaming the Ustream. | ||
| So Ustream has partnered with these guys, I guess, somehow. | ||
| But it has a tripod with a magnet on it so you can rotate it all around, which is also a case. | ||
| But it's just a wireless webcam. | ||
| So if you're on the same Wi-Fi network... | ||
| If you're on a Wi-Fi network, you can carry this whole thing around your whole house, and you have a wireless webcam. | ||
| It's got like a three-hour battery life. | ||
| Does it have a microphone? | ||
| It's got a microphone. | ||
| It's got a light on the front of it. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| It's carrying case, which I'm showing right now. | ||
| You take it out, and it doubles as a tripod. | ||
| And it also has a magnet on it, so the magnet is for the tilting and stuff like that. | ||
| It also has a hook, so you can screw it onto a tripod. | ||
| And it's got really good quality. | ||
| It's an HD webcam. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| What is it called? | ||
| It's the Logitech Broadcaster Wi-Fi. | ||
| And it's super Mac-friendly. | ||
| It's actually designed more for Mac almost than a PC. Suck it, Windows! | ||
| Yeah, and so I have a video also on the Let's Find Jesus YouTube channel. | ||
| Dude, that sounds like something we need to get a hold of. | ||
| I have one right there. | ||
| We need to use that shit. | ||
| Well, I think for what we do, it wouldn't really benefit. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm still playing with it. | ||
| Because we already have video cameras and mixers here. | ||
| Yeah, but not here. | ||
| I mean like at shows. | ||
| Oh yeah, for shows. | ||
| If we can get on the Wi-Fi network or bring a hotspot maybe. | ||
| We should start doing that. | ||
| Maybe we should do that this weekend in Austin. | ||
| Maybe we should broadcast in Austin from the green room before the show. | ||
| It's going to be you, me, and Duncan and Aubrey from Onnit.com. | ||
| Cool. | ||
| Oh, snap. | ||
| We're going to have a good time. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh, snap, you dirty bitches. | ||
| I forgot that we're in Austin. | ||
| Yeah, this weekend, man. | ||
| Saturday night. | ||
| Oh, I forgot Aubrey lived there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| Yeah, we're going to have a good fucking time. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| And we've got to go to this barbecue place that everybody waits in line all day for. | ||
| It's supposed to be ridiculous. | ||
| Aubrey said they would hire someone to go wait in line, but the problem with that is then you don't get it fresh. | ||
| You want to get it like right as it comes off the grill. | ||
| The only way to do that is you have to wait in line for like an hour and a half. | ||
| Oh, fuck that. | ||
| No, I don't want that. | ||
| It's a crazy way. | ||
| Dude, let's go eat our own. | ||
| Let's make our own. | ||
| No, you don't know what you're doing. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| You're barbecuing skills. | ||
| I'm not waiting an hour and a half for some barbecue. | ||
| It's supposed to be unbelievable. | ||
| Ari Shafir said it was so good after you waited in line an hour and a half it was worth it. | ||
| Anything's good if you wait in line for an hour and a half. | ||
| That's why anytime your wife cooks for you it's always good because you had to sit there and wait two hours instead of two minutes for putting a lean pocket in the microwave. | ||
| You were like, alright, I just had to sit here and smell the whole cooking process of the food. | ||
| Of course I'm going to love your food. | ||
| I don't know what I'm talking about. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you definitely don't know what you're talking about. | |
| You poor fool. | ||
| So, we'll see you guys tomorrow. | ||
| We have nothing else to say to each other. | ||
| We will be doing a just Brian and Joe only podcast, though, to celebrate our 300th podcast. | ||
| I think we've done that with every 100, right? | ||
| Oh, no, we tried to do one with Duncan. | ||
| Yeah, we did one with Duncan last time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But the... | ||
| The 100th and now the 300th. | ||
| It's kind of crazy. | ||
| This is our third year doing this. | ||
| This month, next month, marks our third year doing this podcast. | ||
| Yeah, it's crazy. | ||
| Ridiculous. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| How the fuck did that happen? | ||
| Time just flew up. | ||
| Remember when you were, like, back in the day, we would make fun of December 21st, 2012? | ||
| Dude, it's going to be the end of the world. | ||
| Because it didn't seem like it was real. | ||
| It didn't seem like that date was ever going to come. | ||
| That shit's this month, son. | ||
| It's almost December 1st. | ||
| December 1st on Saturday. | ||
| 20 days later, end of the Mayan calendar. | ||
| Are you ready? | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| You ain't ready. | ||
| You're not ready for Doomsday. | ||
| You ain't a prepper. | ||
| Did you watch Prepping? | ||
| You ever watch that? | ||
| Prepping? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, it's a good show to watch. | ||
| It's one of my new things I watch. | ||
| These nutty bitches canning peaches and fucking stuffing them under their bed. | ||
| One guy, he shot his thumb. | ||
| He had a fucking, his gun misfired. | ||
| His thumb started bleeding and he fainted. | ||
| I'm like, you fucking pussy. | ||
| You think you're going to last through the fucking apocalypse and you can't even deal with a little blood loss? | ||
| You faint like a bitch because your thumb's bleeding? | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| How dare you be on doomsday preppers with that bitch-ass attitude? | ||
| There was one couple that was really religious and they were buying a lot of alcohol. | ||
| And like, we don't even drink alcohol, but we're going to need it for bartering and also to construct Molotov cocktails in case we're attacked. | ||
| And so then they were practicing with the Molotov cocktails. | ||
| They had these rocks and they would light the fucking thing. | ||
| You know what a Molotov cocktail is, folks. | ||
| You take a thing of high-proof alcohol and you stuff a rag in it and get it all wet with the alcohol and then you light the rag. | ||
| And throw it and it explodes in flames. | ||
| These fucking dummies are standing there throwing glasses of vodka at the rocks and burst them into flames. | ||
| Yeah, this is a good weapon! | ||
| Meanwhile, they have fucking guns. | ||
| They have, like, huge caches of guns. | ||
| Huge safes filled with machine guns. | ||
| They have, like, ankle holsters on. | ||
| And this is right next to my dick. | ||
| I keep a gun next to my dick. | ||
| One next to my ankle. | ||
| Like, they're, like, completely prepped. | ||
| And every month... | ||
| They go to the supermarket and they go to Costco's and places like that and stock up on supplies so they can be better prepared. | ||
| They have a budget of every month where they'll buy guns and bullets and water and fucking bananas, man. | ||
| Bananas to watch. | ||
| When the apocalypse comes, you've got to really wonder whether or not you want to make it through. | ||
| Someone had to do that in the past because everything was the apocalypse when we were monkeys. | ||
| Every day was the apocalypse. | ||
| You had to fucking go out and scrounge for food. | ||
| There's no supermarkets. | ||
| There's no internet. | ||
| There's no electricity. | ||
| Essentially, Mad Max was way better than the way the monkeys lived. | ||
| At least Mad Max had a car, okay? | ||
| The apocalypse, you know, being like that, a road warrior type scenario, that ain't shit compared to what it definitely used to be. | ||
| And somebody had to get through that to get to here. | ||
| They had to get through that to get to here. | ||
| But the problem is, once you're already here, very tough to go back to caveman days. | ||
| Very tough to scrounge out a living, eating dead people that you find under a fucking overpass, because that's the only meat that you can bring home to your family. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| You gotta wonder whether or not you want to make it through that. | ||
| Like, what's the end game in that sort of scenario? | ||
| If an asteroid hits, you really want it to hit you. | ||
| Like, just land right on you. | ||
| Fucking... | ||
| Let's try this again. | ||
| What are you doing over there? | ||
| Surfing the web? | ||
| No, I'm just reading that the porn industry is suing Verizon for protecting pirates. | ||
| And I was just like, wow, Verizon's standing up for the pirates. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| The porn industry is... | ||
| Were they saying that people are stealing them on BitTorrent and stuff like that? | ||
| Stealing their videos? | ||
| They're saying that Verizon is refusing to comply with court-ordered subpoenas and the porn studios see it as more than a... | ||
| They just want the names of people that are torrenting the shit and I guess Verizon's not playing along. | ||
| That's funny because they play along with the record industry. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Does Verizon play along with them? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, some people don't. | ||
| Some people send out messages, but they won't actively... | ||
| There's not a lot for them, you know, the internet companies and going after people that are pirates. | ||
| It's almost like, eh, you gotta figure that shit out on your own. | ||
| They're in the business of providing internet service, and one of the things that people want to do with that internet service is download shit. | ||
| You know, for you to, like, start peering into what they're downloading and... | ||
| You know that mega upload scenario? | ||
| You know what's going on with that? | ||
| That guy, Kim.com, who said he was famous in the early days of the internet. | ||
| He used to be a hacker and then became a computer securities expert and apparently made a fuckload of money And he used to have this blog and he takes all these crazy pictures of him in front of his yacht and chilling in Brazil and flying in his private jet to this place. | ||
| And he's got this ridiculous mansion where he lives in New Zealand. | ||
| And he's embroiled in this huge legal battle because of MegaUpload.com, which was his website that was accused of hosting pirated material. | ||
| And apparently the government, according to Kim.com, he complied with every request the government had for taking things down, and that they actually asked him to not take these certain files down. | ||
| And those are the ones that they wound up charging him for. | ||
| Because they asked him to not do it because they were trying to track it or something like that. | ||
| So he's saying that they acted in bad faith in organizing their evidence against him. | ||
| As I understand it. | ||
| I might have fucked that argument up. | ||
| But it's kind of interesting that this guy is like this super rich geek who is trying to keep file sharing alive and keep these upload sites alive. | ||
| And now he's making one where everyone else can contribute bandwidth and storage. | ||
| So somehow or another. | ||
| And they're offering one-click encryption on the fly for free for all data. | ||
| So it's really going to be interesting to see where this goes. | ||
| Because if this guy can figure out how to do that, what can these record industry people and what can these movie industry people do about that? | ||
| Because what he's saying is that there's data on his site that shows that when Mega Upload was... | ||
| Was shut down that it actually hurt box office numbers. | ||
| That it doesn't hurt huge blockbuster movies like Mission Impossible type shit. | ||
| It doesn't hurt them. | ||
| But it hurts the box offices of more obscure movies who would be heard about and transferred and talked about through the internet. | ||
| And that people would hear about it because of other people downloading them and that would actually cause more people to go out and buy and see it. | ||
| Which is, you know, sort of the attitude that most comics take, is that having anything of yours that's out on the internet, the more that's out there the better, because then people will hear about you and they'll be able to go out and get your stuff. | ||
| That's why very few comics remove, like, MP3s for copyright violation. | ||
| It's like, they're happy if anybody's listening, because then more people listen to your future shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's an interesting argument, you know, as far as what's copywritten and what's not, and what hurts and what doesn't. | ||
| When someone's got a fucking movie theater in their house, though, that's when shit hurts. | ||
| You essentially have a movie theater in your house now. | ||
| Dude, my new shit is a movie theater in my house. | ||
| I've been watching so much shit on that thing, and I could see it being... | ||
| I saw Wreck-It Ralph the other day, and I went to one of those movie theaters where it was in a small room where the screen was about the same size as the screen that now I have in my house. | ||
| I just took one wall of my living room and pretty much made it a movie theater screen. | ||
| And the projectors are so good nowadays that they're HD that it's like you don't need... | ||
| This projector screen was $200. | ||
| The projector was $700. | ||
| And that right there is better. | ||
| I don't have any reason to go to a movie theater now. | ||
| Yeah, if you could just get the movies directly, why can't they do that? | ||
| Why can't they just charge? | ||
| How about iTunes? | ||
| Do it through that. | ||
| Think about this. | ||
| If you go to the movies, how much does it cost to go to the movies? | ||
| It's like $10 now or something? | ||
| It's like $13 a ticket. | ||
| Where are you going? | ||
| Charge me $50. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Charge me 50 so I can watch it with the whole family. | ||
| Charge me 50 bucks. | ||
| Well, they do that kind of, like Bobcat's movies and Kevin Smith's movie, Red State. | ||
| You could get before it even came out in movie theaters. | ||
| Yeah, well, Kevin Smith, it was beautiful. | ||
| Yeah, that was the right way to do it. | ||
| That's very smart. | ||
| He's aware of his community. | ||
| He can do something like that. | ||
| I hope he made money off that. | ||
| Of course he did. | ||
| It's a good fucking movie. | ||
| It's a good fucking movie. | ||
| That movie was really well done. | ||
| And Stephen King, or Steve Root rather, was amazing in it. | ||
| He's amazing in that Boardwalk Empire. | ||
| I just started watching that. | ||
| Dude, that show's good, dude. | ||
| There's too many goddamn good shows. | ||
| Everybody's like, you gotta watch Mad Men. | ||
| Fuck you, I do. | ||
| I do want to watch Mad Men. | ||
| That's on my list of things. | ||
| I want to watch Mad Men just for that girl with the big tits. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| She's a real woman, huh? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's rare that you see, like, a big, voluptuous, sexy, plump woman. | ||
| You're talking about the one with the redhead? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| She's plump as fuck. | ||
| She's one of... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Big old titties. | ||
| You know what, tell me. | ||
| Those are redonkulous, right? | ||
| Redonkulous. | ||
| Yeah, that's a... | ||
| Is that what women ever looked like? | ||
| No. | ||
| You can't say that. | ||
| That's a rare specimen. | ||
| You can't claim that that's how they all looked back in the 20s. | ||
| But you can't... | ||
| That show, Breaking Bad... | ||
| You know, with Game of Thrones coming back. | ||
| Walking Dead. | ||
| Walking Dead. | ||
| I keep hearing that too. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| Have you not done Walking Dead? | ||
| Only the first couple episodes. | ||
| It was good, but dude, there's not that much time. | ||
| Oh, that's the other thing I started watching. | ||
| It's fucking Homeland. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I started that with season one. | ||
| Dude, that's good. | ||
| That show's good. | ||
| It's not what I thought it was either. | ||
| I thought it was like CSI type stupidity. | ||
| Is that the Titanic bitch girl? | ||
| Claire Danes? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| I think you're thinking of a different girl. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Yeah, I don't think. | ||
| What is her name? | ||
| Is that her name? | ||
| Claire Danes? | ||
| Claire Danes is a Titanic girl. | ||
| I thought she was in that. | ||
| Or maybe I'm thinking of somebody else. | ||
| I don't think Claire Danes is a Titanic girl. | ||
| The Titanic girl was a little plumper. | ||
| No, that's Claire Danes. | ||
| Are you sure? | ||
| Titanic. | ||
| Uh, yeah. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| No. | ||
| Is that her? | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| Kate Winslet. | ||
| Yes, there you go. | ||
| Claire Danes is the one who's in this fucking, this new show, though. | ||
| I was thinking of Romeo and Juliet. | ||
| She was in Claire Danes with Leonardo DiCaprio. | ||
| That was a good movie back in the day. | ||
| Yeah, she's been in a bunch of movies. | ||
| She's good, man. | ||
| She plays a good crazy bitch, too. | ||
| She was in Les Miserables. | ||
| How do you say that? | ||
| Les Miserables. | ||
| Les Miserables. | ||
| She was in that. | ||
| She's a serious actress. | ||
| She's good in Homeland. | ||
| It's a good fucking show, dude. | ||
| Disturbing, though. | ||
| Makes you wonder about how much of this is ripped from the headlines. | ||
| Based on a true story. | ||
| That guy's a badass actor, whoever the fuck he is. | ||
| Who plays the other guy? | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| Anything to end? | ||
| Should we bring this bitch home? | ||
| Death Squad's coming to San Diego, 12-12-12. | ||
| Who? | ||
| Who are these people? | ||
| I don't know yet. | ||
| I know Sarah Tiana is going to be on there, Tony Hinchcliffe. | ||
| There's been a few other people that said that they want to come, but I haven't really. | ||
| I'm going to reschedule it this week. | ||
| December 12th is still a couple weeks away, folks. | ||
| So what you need to do is just prepare yourself for that night. | ||
| Keep checking Twitter. | ||
| We will build the anticipation. | ||
| Hopefully I can make it down there for that one. | ||
| Such a great round. | ||
| I've got a lot of shit going on right now. | ||
| Wow, I can't really talk about that in the air. | ||
| Good stuff, though, folks. | ||
| So this weekend, that's it. | ||
| Moody Theater, Austin, Texas. | ||
| Next week, Pauler Live in Bellevue, Washington with Powerful Sam Tripoli. | ||
| And then the Wilton Theater, December 21st, 2012, the End of the World show with Honey Honey, Doug Stanhope, Joey motherfucking Diaz, and moi. | ||
| And that should be pretty crazy. | ||
| That's going to be a fun show. | ||
| And no, the world's not going to end. | ||
| Relax. | ||
| We're going to be fine. | ||
| Hopefully. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| It might not be real. | ||
| It might not be real. | ||
| Right, Brian? | ||
| Feel like it's not real? | ||
| Definitely not real. | ||
| Simulation theory, you're 100% on board now? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Super simulation theory. | ||
| What was the tipping point that really made you think, this world's not real? | ||
| Well, if you think of it as if it is a simulation theory, and then you start going, alright, this is hilarious. | ||
| Somewhere I'm playing on an iPhone 77, and this is just like... | ||
| Because there's just too many things that are like, alright, that's ridiculous that that just happened. | ||
| that's ridiculous that that just happened i think so i i'm i don't believe in it but i'm acting like i do believe in it and just just looking at life through that that perspective and it really does seem if you if you just spend like the next week acting like everything is a simulation like don't jump in front of building your cars or buildings you could jump in front of buildings but don't jump in front of cars but if you think of it as it's a simulation it's ridiculous and | ||
| So what I've been also adding to it, that Asians are the ones that are kind of babysitting us in the simulation. | ||
| So if you talk about the simulation too much, out of nowhere an Asian will come around the corner and just stare at you. | ||
| Like, uh-oh. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Why are the Asians aliens? | ||
| I don't know! | ||
| Huh? | ||
| Do you think Asians are aliens? | ||
| No, I think Asians are like the babysitters of us in the simulation, I think. | ||
| Gotta be very careful when talking about any race. | ||
| Isn't it funny? | ||
| Like, Asian people could get pissed off at that. | ||
| They could be like, what the fuck, dude? | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah, because they're security. | ||
| They're mad. | ||
| You're not supposed to talk about the simulation. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Or is it you're not supposed to talk about any race at all? | ||
| Even if you're saying positive things, like the aliens might be more advanced than us, and they have more alien DNA in Asian people. | ||
| You can't say that, because that's making Asian people better, but they'll still get upset. | ||
| You're not even allowed to talk about them. | ||
| People are so fucking sensitive, Brian. | ||
| I had something weird happen to me the other day. | ||
| Have you ever had where... | ||
| I was laying down... | ||
| You might have this in the isolation tank, but maybe. | ||
| I was laying down and I had my eyes closed and I was looking at the images in my eye, like on my eyelids. | ||
| And sometimes you see little things floating around. | ||
| Sometimes you might see little things moving and stuff. | ||
| But I had full-on... | ||
| Motion video. | ||
| A person talking somewhere to somebody else, full on movement, 100 frames per second. | ||
| It was like I was watching somebody talk. | ||
| It wasn't a memory, because a memory, you think of something and you're like, oh yeah, we were sitting there and we were talking. | ||
| This was actually watching somebody talk in full video, but it was just the outline in my eyelid. | ||
| I found that trippy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So you say, I found that trippy. | |
| So you're saying you were hallucinating? | ||
| I was hallucinating. | ||
| Obviously, your eyes closed. | ||
| But it wasn't like the guy was tripping and melting and turning into a snake or anything. | ||
| It was like somebody just sitting there having a conversation with somebody. | ||
| But it was full motion as if I was watching somebody. | ||
| If I were to open my eyes and there was somebody standing there doing it, then I'd be like, okay, that makes sense. | ||
| But there was no one there. | ||
| And it was like... | ||
| You don't think, like, I don't dream like that. | ||
| I don't, like, if I think about somebody, you know, running, I can kind of see them running in my head, but this was, like, full-on motion video. | ||
| Like, it was weird. | ||
| You've done enough drugs that you've broken your brain. | ||
| Yeah, maybe that's it. | ||
| Is that possible? | ||
| Or I was somehow spying on a different part in the world of the simulation. | ||
| I was hacking through the firewalls. | ||
| That could be it, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That could be it too. | ||
| You never... | ||
| Yeah, you have to figure out what real is and what's not real. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What if... | |
| The reality that we exist in... | ||
| One of the more attractive... | ||
| Parts of the simulation theory thing is that I do think that thoughts and I do think that intention can move life in a certain way. | ||
| I think it's flexible. | ||
| I think the world that we live in is a lot more flexible than we'd like to think. | ||
| And our rigid interpretation of things as being like, the only things that are real are things you can weigh or measure or knock on. | ||
| I don't think so, man. | ||
| I think there's some fucking weirdness to it all. | ||
| So the idea of a simulation theory sort of comes into play because there's certain things that do get manifested with the mind. | ||
| There's certain people that sort of almost are like extras in a movie. | ||
| There's certain events that almost are like peripheral non-events that you could choose to pay attention to or not pay attention to in the background. | ||
| But your main focus, your life, the things that's going on in your world, you have a little bit of control over it. | ||
| You got a little bit of wiggle room there. | ||
| It's not as simple as, you know, drive one mile and you're a mile away from where you were. | ||
| It has to do more with where you are is in your head a little bit. | ||
| When you're traveling and when you're going places, you're bringing your world to these other places and influencing it. | ||
| When you go to Starbucks, when you get in your house, you're bringing your world everywhere you go. | ||
| And I don't know how much of what goes on outside your world really involves you. | ||
| There might be a bunch of different parallel worlds intersecting with each other all the time. | ||
| We're just only able to perceive the shit that we consider to be our world. | ||
| We're told deja vu is our mind thinking of something before it's actually done. | ||
| Like if you go into a room, your brain actually thinks of something like a micro, micro, microsecond before you actually think of it. | ||
| And so it feels like deja vu. | ||
| That's what scientists are saying. | ||
| But what if that is something like, no, we've been in this simulation before. | ||
| We've been in this situation before, but last time we died in a fucking motorcycle accident. | ||
| This time we're doing it again. | ||
| It could be. | ||
| There's also the ideas that every thought that you make, this is one of the weirdest. | ||
| Theories that I've ever heard about reality. | ||
| Every decision you make, every direction you choose to go in, branches you off into a completely separate area of the universe, and it creates an entirely new universe with new possibilities and new probabilities. | ||
| It's like one of the things that they used to say about time travel is you could never really go back in time, because if you did, you could affect The reality of just by existing in the past, you could affect the future so much that you might never have been born. | ||
| You could really fuck up the possibilities for everything. | ||
| Like you could throw a ripple into the wave. | ||
| Well, the idea is that you sort of do that with every decision you make and every direction you move in. | ||
| And that not only is that possibility a reality, but that all the other possibilities are alternate realities that you don't experience. | ||
| But you could have made every wrong choice, every possible choice, and they all branch off into completely new universes. | ||
| And that all these things are going on together at the same time. | ||
| And that when you're having a deja vu, you're almost like crisscrossing with your possible worlds. | ||
| And you have like a blip in the matrix, a blip in time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, a glitch. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| We know what we can measure. | ||
| We know that when you get in the car and you hit the gas, you know exactly how fast you go, you look at the speedometer. | ||
| But what we don't know is what we're not measuring. | ||
| Weird feelings between people. | ||
| You think about someone. | ||
| They call. | ||
| There's weird shit that we don't understand. | ||
| That we don't measure. | ||
| And so we kind of like push it under the mattress. | ||
| But that shit is tangible. | ||
| The feeling that you get when someone doesn't like you. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like, have you ever been around someone? | ||
| Especially if you're around like... | ||
| A girl and her friend doesn't like you and you don't even have to like say a word you just feel it yeah you feel like oh what the fuck's going on here that that's a real that's a real energy being passed back and forth and that can really affect your life if that person's in your life that gross feeling now becomes a part of your reality that it actually shapes your possibilities I don't know I think I think we're learning a lot | ||
| about reality, about what you can and can't do to influence it, what you can and can't do to shape it. | ||
| We're learning a lot about it by doing this fucking show. | ||
| We're changing reality, Brian. | ||
| Do you know that? | ||
| A lot of people, their realities are being changed because of this show. | ||
| They get access to different ideas now. | ||
| They don't exist. | ||
| They don't exist? | ||
| I think they do. | ||
| I think we don't exist. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| How about we have been created by other people's imaginations to rescue them from South Dakota? | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Could be. | ||
| In their world, you don't exist. | ||
| Right. | ||
| What the fuck kind of hippie bullshit is this, folks? | ||
| This is no way to end a sensible podcast with the great John McAfee on the run in Belize. | ||
| This has been a wonderful experience. | ||
| I'm glad you came along with us on this little magical mystery tour. | ||
| We will be back tomorrow. | ||
| Looks like we've got to do tomorrow fairly early, like noon-ish, with the great Duncan Trussell. | ||
| I've got some shit I've got to do in the afternoon. | ||
| So that will be tomorrow's podcast, and then Thursday, the one and only Eddie motherfucking Bravo, and that will also be around the same time, which is 12-ish p.m., Pacific Time, you fucking freaks. | ||
| And both of those will be done with shitty internet, so good luck trying to watch it on Ustream. | ||
| But we'll have it up on iTunes. | ||
| And we'll eventually get that internet thing figured out, even if I have to call our congressman. | ||
| I have to get Joe Biden on the phone! | ||
| We're gonna straighten this out! | ||
| If I need to make a donation! | ||
| We're gonna work it out, folks. | ||
| We're gonna keep it together. | ||
| We're gonna make it grow. | ||
| We're all on this freak ride together. | ||
| Anything to say, Brian? | ||
| Anything to add to all these beautiful people out there? | ||
| Suck it! | ||
| Hollywood Improv, December 20th. | ||
| American Comedy Co. | ||
| in San Diego, 12-12-12. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You heard it all there, you fucks. | ||
| And we'll see you. | ||
| Brian will be with me and the great Duncan Trussell this Saturday night in Austin, Texas at the Moody Theater. | ||
| Alright, you fucks. | ||
| We love the shit out of you. | ||
| We never anticipated any of this happening and we're enjoying every step of the way. | ||
| And, uh... | ||
| We love the fuck out of you. | ||
| We'll see you soon. |
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