John McAfee defends his refusal to flee Belize after a $2M bribe demand and unfounded meth lab accusations, despite U.S. embassy offers and threats to his life—including the detention of three friends. He dismisses absurd claims like hypersexual bath salt jokes as trolling but admits to altering his appearance with urine-soaked clothing to evade capture. Rogan and Redban question his motives, linking past drug knowledge to experimentation, while McAfee insists he was researching jungle antiseptics. The episode ends with McAfee’s fatal plane crash, exposing how unchecked paranoia and legal risks can spiral into tragedy, underscoring the dangers of both Belize’s corrupt system and reckless defiance. [Automatically generated summary]
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I drove over here.
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They enhance your ability to move things in an isolated manner, which is kind of unnatural.
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Yeah, I think I contributed to this part of the retarded culture.
By Through Fear Factor, I think I definitely contributed to this, at least part of this.
It's craziness.
Jesus Christ, that's a disturbing thing to read.
Man choked to death on his own vomit during a cockroach eating contest at a pet store.
Fuck, man.
It really is like Running Man.
Like when you watch the movie Running Man, they show you people going for money and dogs chasing them and biting them.
Like, well, that would never happen.
This is just an exaggeration.
But the more you see shit like that, you're like, nah, not really an exaggeration anymore.
In fact, it's just as fucked up or more fucked up than fiction.
Like the cum drinking part in Fear Factor, when we had people drink cum, that's more fucked up than anything you've ever seen in a movie about life being fucked up.
And it was real.
You know when you have a movie and they have those scenes of crazy shows?
First of all, because I think people associate cats with pets.
You know, they associate it with, aw, poor little kitty, come to my house, and you keep him in your house, and then the fucking cat doesn't get to eat any rats.
What if they give him little outfits that show that they work for the city, like the orange outfits and stuff, and it's illegal if you take him into your house?
The picture we're looking at is a dead fish that has this larva, whatever the fuck it is, beetle, bug-looking thing living in its mouth that literally replaces the fish's tongue.
The fish can't get rid of it, so it just accepts the fact this thing lives in its mouth.
And the fish keeps eating, and as the fish is eating, this thing, living as its tongue, gets to feast.
So I want to thank you, first of all, for taking this conversation with us, because you don't know anything about this podcast, and you took a real chance in doing this, and I really appreciate that.
I'm saying your story is absolutely fascinating and it really is a privilege to be able to communicate with you while all this is going on because as you know, your story has become a bit of a pop culture legend right now.
And for folks who don't know what the story is, you founded McAfee Antivirus Software, a tremendously successful company.
But for the last five years, you've been living in Belize, sort of living like a character in a Hunter S. Thompson movie.
And now you're in a bit of hot water and you're on the lam stating your case on your blog, which is official.
The story has gotten out there through the agents of people like Jeff Wise and Joshua Davis of Wired Magazine, and so the story was radically incorrect as they portrayed it.
Well, I would have to be right next to you and look you in the eyes to answer that honestly.
Because some people are really good at being smooth and keeping it together while they're all fucked up.
But these speculations about this...
Let's just say what you're wanted for, first of all.
Your next-door neighbor turned up dead.
And you had to flee for your safety because you're sure, rather, that there's some sort of a conspiracy and that they're going to try to not only blame you for that, but you believe even possibly harm you or kill you.
In the last day of April of this year, I woke up at 6 in the morning to 42 armed soldiers in full riot gear carrying automatic weapons storming my property in Orange Walk on the River.
I was held in handcuffs behind my back in the sun for fourteen hours without food or water.
At one point, by the way, I asked a guard for food and water, not just for me, but for everyone else.
The guard's response was, do I look like a chef to you?
Now, indeed, he did not look like a chef, so it was my mistake, but it was not a pleasant day.
From that moment on, I've had nothing but problems with the Belizean government.
The day afterwards, I demanded an apology from the Prime Minister.
Now, they thought that you were running a meth lab.
That was the accusation, correct?
Because you actually were doing some legitimate scientific work, according to what I've read, was that you were trying to work on some new antibiotic that comes from plants found in the rainforest.
Now, the other reason why they would suspect that there was some crazy drugs involved was because of forum posts that have been attributed to you that were all about purifying the chemicals known as bath salts and turning them into some crazy new, more concentrated form of something that makes you hypersexual.
And all these posts online were attributed to you.
However, had I rediscovered that formula, I would go to Bayer, Bayer Laboratories in Germany, with a formula and a sample and demand a check for a billion dollars.
Well, yeah, I think people draw the line with bath salts.
I don't know the actual effects of it physically, because I haven't experienced them, but when you see them attributed to people biting people's faces off and shit like that, which is what we see in the news, and the crazy stories on airwood.com, If you go.org, if you go and read the Arrowhead trip reports of people who have taken that stuff, it doesn't seem like a good experience at all.
So I don't know how that would be really profitable.
Look, I mean, I'm not saying that I don't believe you.
I have no reason to question you.
I just thought it was a very strange thing to do, to write this really elaborate troll about sex, you know, about making, you know, you want to jerk off to your dick bleeds.
Okay, well, I thought it was hilarious too, but some people did not.
But listen, this is not unique for me.
If you search online for a thing called observational yoga, let me tell you this story.
A woman from the Village Voice, writing for the Village Voice, called me to make a comment on the highly publicized lawsuit between Bikram Chowdhury and a guy named Gregory Gamuchio.
And Gregory used to be one of my yoga students.
She had no sense of humor.
So she finally said, what are you doing now?
I said, I'm running a bunch of observational yoga studios in Belize.
She goes, what's that?
I said, well, we've discovered that if you sit in an easy chair, drink wine, and eat hors d'oeuvres, and watch people do yoga, you get exactly the same benefits.
She said, really?
So I stretched it out.
I said, yes, and we're going to start opening up observational weight training studios.
And I went on to say that it works for everything except we've had no sex with observational concert pianists.
We have people watch people play piano all day long and they still can't play the piano.
Going to be this incredibly rich guy, which by all reports you are, living in this country, having a 17-year-old girlfriend, which by all reports you do, and you were...
My friend applauds you.
Congratulations.
Sorry, I applaud you as well.
And you were trying to have a good time, and you were cooking up some stuff, and I wouldn't necessarily think you would want to take it public.
I would think that that in and of itself, you know, cooking that stuff up and reporting about it online would be enough.
I mean, if you were a poor person and it was an amazing business opportunity, but I feel like a guy like you who moves down to Belize with a shitload of money, you're already in it for the vacation.
Anyway, why would you go back to work?
Why would you really try to pitch some hypersexual meth?
You know, I could see playing devil's advocate why people would think that that is the story.
Could you see why people would think that's the story?
I don't know if anybody's been following the blog, and Samantha is probably, she has more balls than any woman I have ever met, and she is a fierce Tiger-like ball of fire, and she is looking at me now like she's going to rip one of my legs off, or maybe both of my nuts.
You are living that life that everybody would say, like, one day, man, fuck it, I just want to retire to some awesome country, live on the beach, and have lots of beautiful women around me.
Before this, though, you were living this magical life of retirement fantasies, what men think of as like the perfect sort of a place to live as an expat.
Of everything from someone tripping over a log on my property and suing me for $10 million to a wrongful death from the passenger in my nephew's airplane.
Yeah, that is an unfortunate aspect of our society that people look at any sort of a situation where it involves dealing with a rich person as possibly an opportunity to hit the lottery.
You know, whether it's...
Altercations, physical altercations.
When a guy like you, you're obviously a very successful man and you become a target for shysters, right?
I didn't realize that as a rich foreigner, you are obligated to pay your dues.
That is, you know, if you're going to donate money, I've donated more than $7 million worth of stuff in this country, but I did it in a way that the powers that be could not skim anything.
You know, I bought boots, for example, for every police officer in the Orange Walk District.
But I demanded an accounting.
Who gets which boots?
Now, what government official is going to be able to skim money off of that?
They say, well, give us the money and let us buy the boots.
Well, they would keep 99% and buy two pairs of boots.
This is how it works.
The rest would go to their families and in their own pockets.
Well, I don't play by those rules, and it pisses everybody off.
The government sent someone in for a donation.
This is prior to the last election.
When I heard the amount, I said, get the fuck off my property.
It's nice to give them a little bit of money, you know, nice to, if they really have the altruistic notions in mind of, you know, keeping the community in good order and governing things well.
But it seems like you're dealing with an ancient system of corruption that's almost insurmountable.
When you deal with, like, is that what they call a banana republic?
Well, it's kind of interesting that you would be held responsible for it when you think about the fact that who knows how many people die in motorcycle accidents every year.
And that's thought to be a respectable, normal activity, although very dangerous.
When people die in it, you don't go immediately looking for someone to sue because they were involved in a dangerous activity.
You say that, man, but you're going way out of your way to speak to people like myself, to speak to Alex Jones today, which I know you had a conversation with earlier, talking to people at Wired, telling your case.
You obviously have a vested interest in staying alive and a vested interest in telling the truth about your situation.
My most important point, and I'm going to say right now, is that three of my friends are in prison, and they have been in prison for going on three weeks because they could not get their hands on me.
Even if they do get their hands on me, those friends will stay in prison.
This is the way the system works.
This is unjust.
They have been charged with bogus charges.
If you go to my website, which is whoismcafee.com, again, whoismcafee.com, You will find email forms, email the prime minister, everybody is listed there, demand that these people get released.
This is injustice at the highest order.
I may be an old man, but they are all young men.
One of them is in his early twenties with a brand new baby.
His wife, by the way, was arrested and held for a week with a newborn baby before she was released.
You know, anybody who aids in the bedroom was arrested, a cab driver who helped me, he was arrested.
This is utterly, utterly absurd.
Because you are my friend, you are therefore arrested and punished.
So you believe that by exposing all this corruption, turning a lot of negative publicity on the way the government's run in Belize, this could hurt their economy and it could make them reconsider and become nice?
But it seems like you're in a situation where you're dealing with so many dangerous folks.
I couldn't imagine you not wanting to just get the fuck out of there and maybe come back to America where our system of law is a little bit more obvious.
Number one, I'm traveling with a young woman whose life is in my hands and trying to get her out of the country with me or move with her would put her in danger.
She will not leave me.
I've tried threatening.
I've tried pleading.
All she says is, where you go, I go.
And she's threatened now to slash my throat in the middle of the night if I even suggest it again.
Actually, I met the Financial Times reporter of Adam Thompson came.
He was actually going to come and stay with us for a length of time and chronicle our events, but he kind of freaked out after he got here and was seriously freaked out and begged to leave after four hours.
He did get four hours of tape interview and his story will appear in the London Financial Times on the 7th of December.
It should be a fascinating story.
I felt sorry for him.
I chose him because he was an objective writer.
It did not occur to me, and this is how stupid I am, that someone who was a financial reporter might not be suited for this life.
There's an e-book about you that started off as an article in Wired, but it became so interesting that this writer constructed an e-book, and they're selling it now, I believe, on Amazon, right?
Well, I understand that what's really important to you is to get out the reality of the corruption in Belize, and that's what was important about...
But do you understand that more people are going to read that piece because they got a picture of you naked with a shotgun?
It's really hard to find pictures of me naked with a shotgun.
No, but I disagree, sir.
And this is why.
Because I think it turns eyes on it.
And your amazing personality is making people aware of this corruption.
That's how I'm becoming aware of it.
I wouldn't become aware of it if it wasn't for the fact that it makes for this sensational story.
Whether or not most of the aspects of it are true or not, you have to understand that that's why people are paying attention.
People love a crazy train wreck.
And a billionaire who's shirtless holding guns, that's the kind of shit people want to see.
When a guy is 67 years old and he lives in a beautiful paradise with hot chicks and he's got a fucking gun and he's not wearing a shirt, that's the kind of shit people want to see.
Through that, you can get your story and your information and what's really important for you to reveal this corruption.
But you have to understand that that makes it appealing.
So you're just not interested in revealing those aspects of your personal life, and you thought that by having him and having him over in confidence, he would not make it about that.
And I think that's one of the most beautiful things about this day and age is that a guy like you really cannot be misrepresented because you can represent yourself.
And you can put your own words down on a blog and have an answer for every question instead of just leaving things up to your accusers, especially in a situation like yours where you're on the run.
You still have the opportunity to put up your version of the things, word for word, exactly how you want it distributed.
And that's a rare thing about our time and this conversation that we're having right now.
Same thing.
You have a rare opportunity to state your case emphatically.
The way it's broken up in commercials and designed to sandwich products in between that you don't want.
It's a dying way of distributing information.
It just doesn't hold up in the age of the internet.
But I think this is one of the rare cases as far as a big news story like yours, where a guy gets to really tell his story to a bunch of different venues, whether it's Alex Jones or me or whether it's your blog or whether it's your Twitter.
You, Official McAfee Twitter, you were able to tell your side of things in a way that we've never seen before.
Could you imagine when OJ was on the run, if OJ had a video blog and he got to tell his story?
Are you comfortable with this position of being this guy who's on the run and being this guy who's accused of a horrible crime and having this really crazy wild lifestyle?
Are you enjoying this stage of your life other than the fact that you're on the run?
I mean, this is one of the worst points of my life.
Absolutely not.
But I'm not backing off from anything.
It's not something that is going to deter me from continuing.
I mean, I would much rather have the freedom of movement.
I'd like to jump in my pool and sun myself and sit at the end of the dock and throw a fishing line in the water or just get in the boat and bob around for a while.
But no, this is not something I'm comfortable with.
How many people have a negative reaction to your lifestyle, the lifestyle that you were leading before you got into trouble with the Belize government?
The older guy with the young chicks partying all the time?
Yeah, what is it about other people's success that for some reason with weak-minded people, somehow or another they feel like it's taking away from them?
They want to attack you.
They want to attack you for your success.
A 67-year-old guy that can bang 20-year-old girls wins everywhere in the world.
I would think that a guy with your kind of wealth would at least be able to arrange for some sort of legal meeting with someone in the United States to help you get back.
Well, if they have other suspects, I don't think they're pursuing them.
You know, they still have not named me as the suspect.
They just named me as someone they want to talk to.
But this is police.
The last person who gave himself in for talking was a guy named Arthur Young.
They handcuffed his hands behind his back and shot him 14 times in a police van because they claimed, with his hands handcuffed behind his back, he attempted to wrestle a weapon away from one of the 10 officers in there with him.
There's one way to tell is they actually, when the guy was shot, they have a ballistics on the bullet, and then when the dogs were poisoned, McAfee had to put the dogs down.
So they actually dug up the dogs, cut the dogs' heads off, And they took the dogs' heads to forensics labs.
So they were trying to prove that the bullets that killed the guy are the same that killed the dogs, which would mean that McAfee...
But Voodoo Chicken is the first guy who turned me on to it, and he put it on the Rogan board, and I read his take on it, and I was like, this is fucking bananas.
Like, this guy, if he really was doing that, was hyper-concentrating this drug, whatever the fuck it is, that makes you ridiculously hypersexual, you know?
And then taking it and fucking his 17-year-old girlfriend...
But the thing is, he does have a 17-year-old girlfriend.
At least he did have a 17-year-old girlfriend when he was doing this.
I mean, but he's, you know, he's acting as if he's all respectable and everything, but he's still banging 17-year-olds.
Like, he's not, I'm not saying that he's doing those drugs, but at least he knows a shitload about those drugs, he knows enough to talk about it, and he's banging a 17-year-old.
Isn't it funny how you can use all the bandwidth you want if you have an internet connection, but if you have a cellular internet connection, that shit's capped like a motherfucker.
I don't think they should give you an open-ended device like a phone that has internet access on it and say you can only use it a certain amount.
I think that's stupid.
I think that to me...
And if everybody uses it at the same time, it doesn't work, then you're selling too many phones.
Because you don't have the backbone to deal with it.
Well, most of the time, most people aren't using it, so that's how we have it set up.
No, no.
That's like saying that you're going to put all your money in the bank, and then the bank only has like half your money there.
And then when people want it all at once, well, we don't have it.
Well, that's stupid.
What'd you do with my fucking money, you cunt?
They don't...
That's a bad analogy.
But...
Point stands, you shouldn't be selling a fucking cell phone with internet on it until you have the backbone to give everybody internet if they use it all at once.
That's how it should be.
It should be that everyone with a fucking cell phone can use it at an end time, all day long.
Every fucking cell phone could be downloading something big at the same time.
That's when you're ready.
That's when you're ready to sell it, you fuckheads.
They're selling it when it's not ready.
They're selling you some shit that's not quite there.
It's like, well, it's experimental.
It's almost there.
We're calling it 4G, but everybody can't use it at the same time.
I mean, I did want to ask him how he's hiding, but he was pretty...
Open about certain aspects of it in other interviews, about coloring his face, like with shoe polish and shit, and putting stuff in his mouth to make it look like he's fat.
All those super successful billionaire characters, they all have strong egos.
They all think they're bad motherfuckers.
They are.
That's how they got to be where they are.
And then they see all these monkeys that are asking him for millions of dollars and like, bitch, he ain't running me out of town.
That's where I live.
He's got his house there.
That's where he lives.
When you live somewhere for five fucking years, that is where you live.
But two million bucks, man?
They're asking for two million bucks?
That's gotta suck.
Someone knocks on your door and they ask you for two million dollars.
You're like, what?
Two million dollars is a lot of fucking money, even for a billionaire, to give to some political douche rag in a crazy little island that was founded by pirates.
I wonder what's going to happen here.
You know, you do that Ice House game where you watch a video and you pause it.
This drug, I want to know more about this fucking drug, because I've never heard of it before, this situation, because I'd never known that there was anything that makes you hypersexual.
It's something extracted from ants and it's called Hot Rod 5000. It really works, but it really works.
I recommend it for special occasions, but that shit's rough.
When you have a hard-on that won't stop, when you can't cum, it's great if you have a 17-year-old girl and you're running away doing yoga, and you're fucking her in a gutter.
Because if he was suffering from extreme paranoia and this statement that he gave explaining that these cops were out there and they were just standing there staring at him and no one said anything...
And he couldn't move because if he moved, they were going to shoot him.
And he was talking about his shoulders killing him because he was leaning up against it and he dared not move.
And then finally at like 4.30 in the morning, they just like went away.
It was like, what kind of a crazy story is that?
I forgot to ask him about that one.
God damn it.
I think the dudes might be on the MDPV, although I don't want to be arrested.
But he was saying that you can't do it and not get addicted to it.
But apparently that's not necessarily true.
Like this guy was saying that he did it for two weeks and he stopped doing it and he was writing a report on it.
There's a lot of reports in this shit.
This guy, Paul Early, is an addiction specialist and he warns about the dangers of MDPV. He says, our experience clearly warns of the psychiatric addiction.
and medical dangers of this drug.
We have cared for multiple patients who have abused MDPV, and they report intense and unpleasant visual hallucinations after a short binge.
The drug feels non-toxic with its first use, but following a moderate binge, users suffer from mild to moderate paranoia in about 10% of individuals who have So this guy is just outright saying on Gizmodo that he used this stuff.
Even though McAfee is saying that it's all a troll.
I think even if you don't know it's a troll, you have to say that McAfee says it's a troll.
It says the specific properties of the drugs that he was attempting to isolate.
This is all in the Gizmodo article, by the way.
I take no credit for this.
The specific properties of the drugs he was attempting to isolate also fit in well with what those closest to him have reported, that he is an enthusiastic amateur pharmacologist with a long-standing interest in drugs that induce sexual behavior in women.
Indeed, former friends of McAfee have said he could be extremely persistent and devious in trying to coerce women who rebuff his advances to have sex with them.
See, that's just like...
When you see an article like that...
Written about someone like that?
That seems to me like you have to have examples.
You can't just say that.
Because you can say anything about anybody.
I can say that about you.
I could say Brian Redman has been known to be extremely vindictive in women who ignore his advances.
And he's an amateur pharmacologist.
You have to have evidence to say some creepy shit like that, don't you?
Not me, but whoever invented antiseptics in the first place.
I mean, who has a lab that does anything?
If you're living in the rainforest, which I think Belize is like a rainforest, all of the medical, like, modern medical breakthroughs, not all of them, but a big percentage of them, come from plants that are discovered in remote rainforests.
If there was a machine and you were held down and strapped in, and the answer, the real answer to this guy McAfee, you know, is he guilty or not guilty?
And if you had to choose one, and if you choose wrong, a huge black dick goes shoved in your mouth and he comes in you.
If that guy really was doing MDPV and all those people on Gizmodo are telling the truth, or the guy on Gizmodo is telling the truth about all the people he talked to, then the guy's a liar.
And everything he says has to be questioned.
Everything he says.
If he really never has done that MDPV, then we could look at him and go, wow, maybe this guy's being set up.
But if he has done it and he lied about that, just on this show, if he told that false version of himself, for any reason...
The way he doesn't want to leave, like, no, I will not pay too much.
Like, he's got this, you know, edge to him where it makes me think that if he was high on some kind of fucking drug or whatever, and somebody killed your dogs.
You know, and you're a guy that has a machine gun and you don't like shirts much and you're high on this shit.
I could see him just raging going like, no, you don't know who you fucked with, you know?
He doesn't seem like he would hang out with thugs.
He seems like he would hang out with yoga dudes.
Well, at least in that one photo that we were showing during the thing, but then that other photo where he has the gun, he kind of looks like, okay, that guy's craziness.
Or he just wants to make us and everybody know about it, kind of like a news type thing, because the more people know about it, if he does get caught, people are going to be like, what?
The whole thing is, I mean, the fact that he wouldn't see how it being a personality piece would lead people to pay more attention to it.
He's smiling with this fucking gun in his hand, looking straight at the camera.
By the way, it's not just one photo of him like that.
If you look at the photos of him online, like the first three, if you look under his McAfee photo images, the first three are of him topless with guns.
He's quite a character, though, man.
I would have loved to have hung out with him before all this.
No, it's terrible, but I'm saying I wonder if they can do that with like a T1 or a T3. Not a T1. T1's not good enough, but like a T3 line or something like that.
My new favorite thing on the phone, I don't know if you've used this on the iPhone, is the Do Not Disturb.
So at night, you just click on this Do Not Disturb button.
No phone calls, no texts, but you still have internet and shit like that.
Wow.
Because I would be getting phone calls, like I'll set my alarm to wake me up, and then I'll get a phone call at like 2 in the morning, you know, and I'll be like, oh, what the fuck, and it'll wake me up.
Or somebody will send me a stupid text, you know, at 6 in the morning.
They had been flying in clean, smooth air with plenty of altitude, McAfee told me, when suddenly they went into a spiral dive and crashed into the ground.
The terrain was so rugged that the sheriff's deputies took a helicopter to the top of the ridge and hiked down to retrieve the bodies, leaving.
leaving the wreckage where it lay.
Wow.
Sounds like it's dangerous as fuck, but it's dangerous as fuck to do a lot of Skydiving is dangerous as fuck.
Those bodysuits.
Have you ever seen that video where the guy's on that wingsuit and he crashes?
It's a suitcase, and when you open it up, and it's travel approved, when you open it up, there's a 19-inch monitor, a sound system, there's lights, you put your Xbox in there, or your PS3, and this is the Star Wars Xbox, and you travel with it.
I bought it for the studio because we do so many video game podcasts at Death Squad that I was like, we should have a unit here so we can play video games and show people.
And what it does is it connects to your Wi-Fi network and then you have a wireless webcam and it has a button on it that you push that automatically starts streaming the Ustream.
So Ustream has partnered with these guys, I guess, somehow.
But it has a tripod with a magnet on it so you can rotate it all around, which is also a case.
But it's just a wireless webcam.
So if you're on the same Wi-Fi network...
If you're on a Wi-Fi network, you can carry this whole thing around your whole house, and you have a wireless webcam.
Anything's good if you wait in line for an hour and a half.
That's why anytime your wife cooks for you it's always good because you had to sit there and wait two hours instead of two minutes for putting a lean pocket in the microwave.
You were like, alright, I just had to sit here and smell the whole cooking process of the food.
Of course I'm going to love your food.
I don't know what I'm talking about.
unidentified
Yeah, you definitely don't know what you're talking about.
These nutty bitches canning peaches and fucking stuffing them under their bed.
One guy, he shot his thumb.
He had a fucking, his gun misfired.
His thumb started bleeding and he fainted.
I'm like, you fucking pussy.
You think you're going to last through the fucking apocalypse and you can't even deal with a little blood loss?
You faint like a bitch because your thumb's bleeding?
How dare you?
How dare you be on doomsday preppers with that bitch-ass attitude?
There was one couple that was really religious and they were buying a lot of alcohol.
And like, we don't even drink alcohol, but we're going to need it for bartering and also to construct Molotov cocktails in case we're attacked.
And so then they were practicing with the Molotov cocktails.
They had these rocks and they would light the fucking thing.
You know what a Molotov cocktail is, folks.
You take a thing of high-proof alcohol and you stuff a rag in it and get it all wet with the alcohol and then you light the rag.
And throw it and it explodes in flames.
These fucking dummies are standing there throwing glasses of vodka at the rocks and burst them into flames.
Yeah, this is a good weapon!
Meanwhile, they have fucking guns.
They have, like, huge caches of guns.
Huge safes filled with machine guns.
They have, like, ankle holsters on.
And this is right next to my dick.
I keep a gun next to my dick.
One next to my ankle.
Like, they're, like, completely prepped.
And every month...
They go to the supermarket and they go to Costco's and places like that and stock up on supplies so they can be better prepared.
They have a budget of every month where they'll buy guns and bullets and water and fucking bananas, man.
Bananas to watch.
When the apocalypse comes, you've got to really wonder whether or not you want to make it through.
Someone had to do that in the past because everything was the apocalypse when we were monkeys.
Every day was the apocalypse.
You had to fucking go out and scrounge for food.
There's no supermarkets.
There's no internet.
There's no electricity.
Essentially, Mad Max was way better than the way the monkeys lived.
At least Mad Max had a car, okay?
The apocalypse, you know, being like that, a road warrior type scenario, that ain't shit compared to what it definitely used to be.
And somebody had to get through that to get to here.
They had to get through that to get to here.
But the problem is, once you're already here, very tough to go back to caveman days.
Very tough to scrounge out a living, eating dead people that you find under a fucking overpass, because that's the only meat that you can bring home to your family.
Jesus Christ.
You gotta wonder whether or not you want to make it through that.
Like, what's the end game in that sort of scenario?
If an asteroid hits, you really want it to hit you.
Some people send out messages, but they won't actively...
There's not a lot for them, you know, the internet companies and going after people that are pirates.
It's almost like, eh, you gotta figure that shit out on your own.
They're in the business of providing internet service, and one of the things that people want to do with that internet service is download shit.
You know, for you to, like, start peering into what they're downloading and...
You know that mega upload scenario?
You know what's going on with that?
That guy, Kim.com, who said he was famous in the early days of the internet.
He used to be a hacker and then became a computer securities expert and apparently made a fuckload of money And he used to have this blog and he takes all these crazy pictures of him in front of his yacht and chilling in Brazil and flying in his private jet to this place.
And he's got this ridiculous mansion where he lives in New Zealand.
And he's embroiled in this huge legal battle because of MegaUpload.com, which was his website that was accused of hosting pirated material.
And apparently the government, according to Kim.com, he complied with every request the government had for taking things down, and that they actually asked him to not take these certain files down.
And those are the ones that they wound up charging him for.
Because they asked him to not do it because they were trying to track it or something like that.
So he's saying that they acted in bad faith in organizing their evidence against him.
As I understand it.
I might have fucked that argument up.
But it's kind of interesting that this guy is like this super rich geek who is trying to keep file sharing alive and keep these upload sites alive.
And now he's making one where everyone else can contribute bandwidth and storage.
So somehow or another.
And they're offering one-click encryption on the fly for free for all data.
So it's really going to be interesting to see where this goes.
Because if this guy can figure out how to do that, what can these record industry people and what can these movie industry people do about that?
Because what he's saying is that there's data on his site that shows that when Mega Upload was...
Was shut down that it actually hurt box office numbers.
That it doesn't hurt huge blockbuster movies like Mission Impossible type shit.
It doesn't hurt them.
But it hurts the box offices of more obscure movies who would be heard about and transferred and talked about through the internet.
And that people would hear about it because of other people downloading them and that would actually cause more people to go out and buy and see it.
Which is, you know, sort of the attitude that most comics take, is that having anything of yours that's out on the internet, the more that's out there the better, because then people will hear about you and they'll be able to go out and get your stuff.
That's why very few comics remove, like, MP3s for copyright violation.
It's like, they're happy if anybody's listening, because then more people listen to your future shit.
I've been watching so much shit on that thing, and I could see it being...
I saw Wreck-It Ralph the other day, and I went to one of those movie theaters where it was in a small room where the screen was about the same size as the screen that now I have in my house.
I just took one wall of my living room and pretty much made it a movie theater screen.
And the projectors are so good nowadays that they're HD that it's like you don't need...
This projector screen was $200.
The projector was $700.
And that right there is better.
I don't have any reason to go to a movie theater now.
Well, if you think of it as if it is a simulation theory, and then you start going, alright, this is hilarious.
Somewhere I'm playing on an iPhone 77, and this is just like...
Because there's just too many things that are like, alright, that's ridiculous that that just happened.
that's ridiculous that that just happened i think so i i'm i don't believe in it but i'm acting like i do believe in it and just just looking at life through that that perspective and it really does seem if you if you just spend like the next week acting like everything is a simulation like don't jump in front of building your cars or buildings you could jump in front of buildings but don't jump in front of cars but if you think of it as it's a simulation it's ridiculous and
So what I've been also adding to it, that Asians are the ones that are kind of babysitting us in the simulation.
So if you talk about the simulation too much, out of nowhere an Asian will come around the corner and just stare at you.
There's also the ideas that every thought that you make, this is one of the weirdest.
Theories that I've ever heard about reality.
Every decision you make, every direction you choose to go in, branches you off into a completely separate area of the universe, and it creates an entirely new universe with new possibilities and new probabilities.
It's like one of the things that they used to say about time travel is you could never really go back in time, because if you did, you could affect The reality of just by existing in the past, you could affect the future so much that you might never have been born.
You could really fuck up the possibilities for everything.
Like you could throw a ripple into the wave.
Well, the idea is that you sort of do that with every decision you make and every direction you move in.
And that not only is that possibility a reality, but that all the other possibilities are alternate realities that you don't experience.
But you could have made every wrong choice, every possible choice, and they all branch off into completely new universes.
And that all these things are going on together at the same time.
And that when you're having a deja vu, you're almost like crisscrossing with your possible worlds.
And you have like a blip in the matrix, a blip in time.
We know that when you get in the car and you hit the gas, you know exactly how fast you go, you look at the speedometer.
But what we don't know is what we're not measuring.
Weird feelings between people.
You think about someone.
They call.
There's weird shit that we don't understand.
That we don't measure.
And so we kind of like push it under the mattress.
But that shit is tangible.
The feeling that you get when someone doesn't like you.
You know?
Like, have you ever been around someone?
Especially if you're around like...
A girl and her friend doesn't like you and you don't even have to like say a word you just feel it yeah you feel like oh what the fuck's going on here that that's a real that's a real energy being passed back and forth and that can really affect your life if that person's in your life that gross feeling now becomes a part of your reality that it actually shapes your possibilities I don't know I think I think we're learning a lot
about reality, about what you can and can't do to influence it, what you can and can't do to shape it.
We're learning a lot about it by doing this fucking show.
We're changing reality, Brian.
Do you know that?
A lot of people, their realities are being changed because of this show.
What the fuck kind of hippie bullshit is this, folks?
This is no way to end a sensible podcast with the great John McAfee on the run in Belize.
This has been a wonderful experience.
I'm glad you came along with us on this little magical mystery tour.
We will be back tomorrow.
Looks like we've got to do tomorrow fairly early, like noon-ish, with the great Duncan Trussell.
I've got some shit I've got to do in the afternoon.
So that will be tomorrow's podcast, and then Thursday, the one and only Eddie motherfucking Bravo, and that will also be around the same time, which is 12-ish p.m., Pacific Time, you fucking freaks.
And both of those will be done with shitty internet, so good luck trying to watch it on Ustream.
But we'll have it up on iTunes.
And we'll eventually get that internet thing figured out, even if I have to call our congressman.
I have to get Joe Biden on the phone!
We're gonna straighten this out!
If I need to make a donation!
We're gonna work it out, folks.
We're gonna keep it together.
We're gonna make it grow.
We're all on this freak ride together.
Anything to say, Brian?
Anything to add to all these beautiful people out there?