Nov. 26, 2012 - The Joe Rogan Experience
01:13:41
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Everybody else is looking to go to war. | ||
| Everybody else is looking to kill them. | ||
| Everybody else is looking to take. | ||
| Most people in this world just want to get by. | ||
| They want to be healthy. | ||
| They want to have children and have those children be happy and healthy. | ||
| They want to get through the day. | ||
| They want to get through the fucking day. | ||
| They are led by people who are profiting off of the drama. | ||
| And that's the real problem. | ||
| Can I say one thing? | ||
| This is why this podcast is so important and not to be melodramatic is To go back to the success of this podcast and the success of Vice and all this stuff is that it's because all of the other shit out there is bullshit. | ||
| This is the whole thing. | ||
| Is what happens in mainstream media and the news cycle is crap. | ||
| And what's happening here and the reason why you have so many people listening to you and supporting you and the reason why Vice is growing so rapidly is because we're just regular dudes. | ||
| We're regular guys. | ||
| We like MMA. We like fighting. | ||
| We like having a few drinks. | ||
| You're you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you go out there in the world and you say, hold on a second. | ||
| Where's the fucking rationality here? | ||
| Why do these fuckers have nuclear weapons? | ||
| Why the fuck is this happening? | ||
| Why is the fucking world sinking and we're not doing something about it? | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| I'm not like... | ||
| I'm not Jesus on the cross. | ||
| I'm not trying to be that guy. | ||
| I'm just going out in the world and going, holy fuck! | ||
| And that's why it resonates. | ||
| And when I say it's the end of the world, it's because I went to Kashmir. | ||
| I went to the Indian side of Kashmir. | ||
| The Indians said... | ||
| If we have another Mumbai attack, we will attack Pakistan. | ||
| Then I went to Pakistan and I was like, why are you still sending these, you're training, the ISI and the military, why are you still sending these guys into India? | ||
| They've said that if you still, if you send them in again, they're going to attack you. | ||
| And they're like, yes, because we're going to win. | ||
| And you're like, nobody's going to fucking win. | ||
| You're going to nuke each other. | ||
| You're all going to die. | ||
| And the thing is, is I keep saying there, and it's the same thing in China. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| Even the funny shit that we do is like, It's the absurdity of the modern condition. | ||
| It's the world has become insane. | ||
| And I'm saying, where are all the adults, eh? | ||
| But where's the rationality? | ||
| Where's just like two regular guys And by the way, we're just sitting here with a beautiful oak table having a few drinks in the middle of nowhere. | ||
| And so many people are resonating with us. | ||
| We're just two dudes talking. | ||
| But the thing is, is so many people resonate, resonate, resonate. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because everyone's just coming out of the pond going, hold on a second. | ||
| Hold on a second. | ||
| What the fuck's going on? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| We're all rational people. | ||
| We're all smart people. | ||
| We all have the internet. | ||
| We fucking see all this shit's going on. | ||
| What the fuck's going on? | ||
| And I think that the answers are terrifying. | ||
| Because you know what? | ||
| Nobody has an answer. | ||
| Oh, well, it's just this, this, this, and this. | ||
| It's not really going to happen because it's that. | ||
| And, you know, it's just this guy doing that. | ||
| You sound like Brian Callen. | ||
| Pitching for Fox News. | ||
| But the thing is, it's not true. | ||
| Actually, the New York Times has refuted that... | ||
| Yeah, but it's not true. | ||
| Like, there is no rationality. | ||
| The answer is more terrifying than the question, which is, why do they have nukes? | ||
| Because we gave them. | ||
| Because we're crazy. | ||
| Because we're crazy. | ||
| Because there's no rationality. | ||
| They had money. | ||
| They needed nukes. | ||
| We had nukes. | ||
| We needed money. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Chaka-laka-boom. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| You know what the real scary story is? | ||
| Canada had this thing, the Kandu reactor, the fail-safe reactor, the most safe reactor on Earth, fucking beautiful reactor. | ||
| The Titanic of reactors. | ||
| And Canada is like, oh, we're the largest donator of foreign aid. | ||
| I'm Canadian, by the way. | ||
| I love Canada. | ||
| And we're the largest donators of foreign aid. | ||
| And then we gave the reactors to Pakistan and we said, now, whatever you do, don't do anything bad with it. | ||
| And they said, oh, of course not. | ||
| And you're sitting there going, what the fuck? | ||
| What the fuck were you fucking thinking, Canada, giving them fucking reactors? | ||
| What the fuck were you thinking? | ||
| That's so silly. | ||
| The reactor thing is a real freakout to me. | ||
| And I talk about it in my act. | ||
| I don't know if I'm allowed to swear, by the way. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Here? | ||
| What's the matter? | ||
| Oh, you want a cigarette? | ||
| Shut it! | ||
| Shut it! | ||
| I'm not supposed to say that shit. | ||
| I didn't know. | ||
| I didn't know what you were saying. | ||
| I didn't know that was a bad thing. | ||
| Does somebody not want you to indulge? | ||
| Let's be real here. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Come on, Shane Smith. | ||
| You know I love you like a brother. | ||
| Tell me what's going on. | ||
| Who doesn't want you to indulge? | ||
| You got an issue? | ||
| Mrs. Shane Smith? | ||
| Who perhaps doesn't want Hubby to die of cancer or bullets? | ||
| Cigarettes is the last thing she should worry about. | ||
| This dude's going to the Congo in his underwear. | ||
| We can talk about the Congo. | ||
| You should worry. | ||
| Have you gone? | ||
| Did you go to the Congo? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See, that's where I draw the line. | ||
| I've been to Goma, and right now, it's going fucking crazy. | ||
| The only way I would go to the Congo is if someone absolutely showed me for sure. | ||
| We're going to find the apes. | ||
| I could see one of those apes. | ||
| Those giant... | ||
| We're still working on it. | ||
| It's a real animal, bro. | ||
| It's a real animal. | ||
| That's not like a Sasquatch issue. | ||
| Did I ever tell you about David Cho and the dinosaurs? | ||
| Yes, I watched that episode. | ||
| They believe there's a brontosaurus in the Congo. | ||
| Hey, look. | ||
| There's alligators. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| We need to wrap our heads around the idea that alligators fucking survived. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I want alligator blood. | ||
| You know, I'm reading this Chris Ryan book, Sex at Dawn. | ||
| Fascinating, fascinating book. | ||
| And he talks about the name Yucatan and that what the name came from is... | ||
| One of Christopher Columbus' settlers... | ||
| You don't have to worry about what you blow down. | ||
| I grew up in comedy clubs and pool halls. | ||
| Let that shit go. | ||
| Don't worry about it. | ||
| He asked them, what is the name of your land? | ||
| And the guy said something like, you know, in whatever the Mayan tongue is. | ||
| And so they said, Yucatan. | ||
| Okay, Yucatan. | ||
| That was like as close to... | ||
| It turns out when scholars reviewed what the actual original word was, because I guess they wrote it down somewhere... | ||
| It means in mine, I don't understand you. | ||
| So when people go down to Cancun and they go get their freak on for spring break, they're in the I Don't Understand You Peninsula. | ||
| Christopher Ryan, Bad Motherfucker. | ||
| It's like when they went to India, they said, where are we? | ||
| And they're like, Mumbai. | ||
| And they're like, Bombay. | ||
| Perfect. | ||
|
unidentified
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Exactly. | |
| Perfect. | ||
| Love it. | ||
|
unidentified
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Where are you? | |
| Beijing. | ||
| Peking! | ||
| Love it. | ||
| Well, like Greece. | ||
| They don't call themselves Greece, right? | ||
| Don't they have another name? | ||
| Yeah, Halas. | ||
| There's a couple different countries like that. | ||
| Japan is Nippon. | ||
| Oh, that's another place where we just shot Greece. | ||
| Holy fuck. | ||
| Yeah, Greece is completely insolvent. | ||
| Is that the case? | ||
| Well... | ||
| It is. | ||
| So we just shot the riots in Greece, France, Spain, Italy, and actually the rise of the neo-Nazis in Germany. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| They're back? | ||
| They're back. | ||
| Don't call it a comeback. | ||
| How could you get fucking Nazis again in Germany? | ||
| Really, Germans? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really, folks? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| You got the internet. | ||
| You got 4G, you motherfuckers. | ||
|
unidentified
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Actually, what's faster internet than us? | |
| Do they, Brian? | ||
| Yeah, than us, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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No, no, this, yeah. | |
| Are we online at all? | ||
| Well, I found out that you probably have DSL, which is like the worst internet in the world. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And so I put it down to like mobile bandwidth style, so like it's such a low bandwidth. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| But is it working? | ||
|
unidentified
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Barely. | |
| You're a technological genius. | ||
| Well, he's a bad motherfucker, and without him, I'd be lost. | ||
| And he has great t-shirts, and I want one. | ||
| And he has great taste in women. | ||
| He's a bad motherfucker, that Brian Redman. | ||
| Look, man, I love you, but every time we get together, we start talking doom and gloom, and I fucking shit my pants. | ||
| And I want to believe that there's a way out of this. | ||
| I want to believe that I know that I've changed as a human being. | ||
| There is, and I've got to say this, because it's up to guys like you, guys like me, and guys like everyone listening to this podcast to say, we have the power. | ||
| Dude, that's a lot of responsibility. | ||
| I want to get high and watch The Hobbit. | ||
| However, you want to get high and watch The Hobbit. | ||
| However, I'm going to say this publicly and online. | ||
| Joe Rogan, who's a famous dude who does UFC and TV shows and comic genius and all this stuff, he does a podcast, pays for a fucking studio, pays for oak tables, pays for state-of-the-art equipment and all this stuff to do a podcast. | ||
| To tell the fucking truth. | ||
| And by the way, that's fucking admirable. | ||
| And by the way, everybody out there who has a camera, who has an iPhone, who has a fucking YouTube connection, everyone can do it and everyone should do it because it's time to start fucking changing shit because you know what? | ||
| Shit is fucked up. | ||
| They are doing it and that's the beautiful thing. | ||
| That's the beautiful thing. | ||
| There's a bunch of people that we've introduced. | ||
| But via this podcast, like Daniele Bolelli and the guys from London Real who came down to my podcast. | ||
| And those guys are really popular now. | ||
| Their podcasts are popular. | ||
| And it's instead of you going through this traditional system of it not being about the value of your contribution, but rather being about like who's hot and who's not and who's it and who's like fucking dating who and all the nonsense that we get roped up in as primates, as social primates. | ||
| And to instead say, the fuck that, man. | ||
| But I would like to say to everyone who's listening to this, Joe Rogan, red man over there, is fucking the technological genius. | ||
| You guys are doing something that is purely democratic, that is incredibly fucking important, incredibly useful. | ||
| It's the reason why every time I come to LA I do this. | ||
| Because you guys are giving guys like me and everybody else a fucking platform to say, hey, by the way, I don't want to be all doom and gloom. | ||
| What I want to do is say, this shit is happening. | ||
| It's real. | ||
| And people should know about it. | ||
| And we can do shit about it. | ||
| And by the way, it's not just us here in America. | ||
| People in India can do shit about it. | ||
| People in Pakistan can do shit about it. | ||
| And by the way, youth are fucking pissed off. | ||
| They're upset. | ||
| Politicians have failed them. | ||
| The rich are getting richer. | ||
| The poor are getting poorer. | ||
| And what we're trying to do is bring back journalism in the sense that journalism is saying, this shit is fucked up and we collectively have to solve it. | ||
| Otherwise, you have kids, I have kids. | ||
| Our kids are going to be fucked. | ||
| I run through these various scenarios in my head about the future of humanity, and the only thing that gives me hope is the access to ideas and information that are available today. | ||
| Just what I know about me. | ||
| With a phone, I can pretty much answer almost any question I have. | ||
| About anything in the world within a couple of hours of sitting there and reading shit. | ||
| All you need is a goddamn phone. | ||
| But you're a guy that doesn't have to do this. | ||
| You don't have to take your time out. | ||
| You don't have to pay all this money to set this up. | ||
| Well, it's not that much money. | ||
| It's fairly reasonable. | ||
| It's hard and it's money and it's time out of your day. | ||
| And you're setting up this shit, and by the way, more people should be doing it, and more people should be doing shit because it's bad. | ||
| I don't even think about it that way. | ||
| I mean, the way I think about it is, first of all, we were doing it at my house, and then we were doing it at Brian's place that he set up, Desquad Studios in the Ice House. | ||
| And I thought about it. | ||
| I was like, why am I doing my shit at my house? | ||
| Like, let's take this to the next level. | ||
| So I was inspired by, like, Brian putting together this crazy studio and us using it for, you know, how long have you been there, Brian? | ||
| It was a year anniversary last month. | ||
| And Bob Fisher, you beautiful motherfucker, you. | ||
| The guy who owns that place is just such a sweetie. | ||
| They're all sweeties there. | ||
| The waitresses are sweeties. | ||
| Everybody's nice. | ||
| But look at what you built out of it. | ||
| And I've got to say, everybody out there should take this as an example because everybody can do shit. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| And by the way, you're doing shit. | ||
| You don't have to do shit. | ||
| You're doing shit. | ||
| See, that's where I want to sort of straighten... | ||
| I don't think that... | ||
| It's not like I don't have to. | ||
| There's no motivation to do this other than joy, other than fun, other than the fact that I love talking to guys like you. | ||
| How else would I organize a three-hour conversation with you and I? The only way to make it enticing is I have to fucking broadcast it online to get to meet someone like you. | ||
| Tomorrow we're doing that John McAfee, the guy, the virus... | ||
| Guy who is in Belize on the run. | ||
| We're doing that guy. | ||
| I couldn't get to talk to that guy in real life. | ||
| Why would he talk to me? | ||
| But you tell more truth here on your podcast than MSNBC and Fox put together. | ||
| And I've got to say, that's the future of journalism. | ||
| It's regular people like you and me who actually give a shit and who have actually learned stuff. | ||
| And because you go around the world and you see shit, I go around the world and I see shit, we see this stuff and we go, hey, This is ridiculous, yeah. | ||
| Change is incredibly difficult. | ||
| It's incredibly difficult for people to change. | ||
| It's incredibly difficult for systems of government or monetary systems to change. | ||
| Change is incredibly hard and resisted tooth and claw. | ||
| And the people that are involved in MSNBC and CNN and all these people that perpetrate all this nonsense journalism, I don't fault them. | ||
| I don't, because as a guy who's been, this is my position, as a guy who's been in the system of television before, I've been on two different TV shows. | ||
| I was on a sitcom for five years, and then I was on Fear Factor for six years. | ||
| I kind of see, I got a pretty good view of the whole system of creating things and the network run. | ||
| It's insurmountable. | ||
| It either has to collapse or be absorbed by the internet. | ||
| Those are the only options. | ||
| But it, as it stands, is bureaucratic. | ||
| There's too many people involved. | ||
| Too much decision making. | ||
| It's too expensive and difficult to put together a fucking sitcom. | ||
| It's so hard to make it good. | ||
| If you look at your audience and you look at what you're doing and other people like you are doing, you have millions and millions of followers. | ||
| And I would say this. | ||
| I would say, look, You have as many, and by the way, more, you have an audience that's actually willing to do shit and willing to participate and they tweet and they Facebook and get on the socials. | ||
| And I would say this, if you look at Fox, which is aging at 67, 68, those people are dying and going to die out. | ||
| This is the future. | ||
| And what you're doing is you're saying, I'm going to put my flag in the sand. | ||
| And I'm going to say, you know what? | ||
| You've been in TV. You've been successful. | ||
| You're still on TV. You're still successful. | ||
| You're killing it. | ||
| But yet still, you'll take your time out of your day to come here and say, We're going to try. | ||
| We're going to do some funny stuff. | ||
| We're going to do some regular stuff. | ||
| We're going to do this and that. | ||
| But we're going to try to fucking at least say, hey, this is what's going on with McAfee. | ||
| This is what's going on in Pakistan. | ||
| This is what's going on. | ||
| You have me on. | ||
| You have other people on. | ||
| And I got to say, look, that is the future of journalism because that is the only way today that we're going to get to the truth. | ||
| Look, I agree with everything you just said and the reason why I do it is because people like you are out there. | ||
| The reason why I'm so committed to doing a podcast like this and the reason why Brian and I are committed to keeping them free is we benefit from it just as much as everyone else does. | ||
| We benefit from it from our own conversations. | ||
| I mean, Brian and I were just talking about simulation theory today. | ||
| And it's because it's brought up by so many brilliant people on the podcast that we've had these freaky discussions about it. | ||
| This podcast has been an incredible fucking thing. | ||
| I can't ever take... | ||
| Not only can I... I don't feel like I can take any responsibility for it, I can't take any accolades Talk through the internet and reach all these other people. | ||
| Who else has that opportunity? | ||
| If you had it, you would do it. | ||
| If anybody else had it, they would do it. | ||
| If you're thinking in your right mind and you had a million people that were paying attention or whatever the fuck it is now and you knew some shit, you'd want to tell people some shit. | ||
| But I'm allowed to say it's admirable. | ||
| Oh, listen, that's not nearly as admirable as we're chilling here in the fucking valley. | ||
| Brian and I are in the air-conditioned studio. | ||
| You're out there in Mumbai, dude. | ||
| What I'd like to say is life is good, right? | ||
| And our life has been good. | ||
| And we got to kind of get out of jail free card. | ||
| When I got out of college, I used to say, I'm never going to live in a house as nice as my parents or drive a car as nice as my parents. | ||
| Gen X, my generation, sort of got a get-out-of-jail-free card, but Gen Y is going to have to pay the bill. | ||
| And in so saying, I think it's our responsibility to say, we know the fucking problems. | ||
| We know what the fuck's going on. | ||
| We know that this is a fucking problem. | ||
| And we have to go out there and say, look, this is a problem. | ||
| I don't know the solutions. | ||
| Again, I'm not Jesus on the cross. | ||
| But at least people, and this is what gives me hope, is that people fundamentally, I believe, are good. | ||
| And I also believe people are fundamentally smart and people fundamentally want to do the right thing. | ||
| Well, I think people fundamentally want to be good because love feels better than hate. | ||
| If I have a little tiny dispute in my life, I don't know about you, but the way I feel about it, especially amongst my circle of friends or amongst people I do business with or work with, if there's any sort of a tiny dispute, there's a ripple in my force, and I don't like it. | ||
| I don't like that feeling, and I want to resolve it as lovingly and as kindly and as apologetically as I can. | ||
| I always feel like that. | ||
| And some people never get to a position where they really feel at peace with their place in the world and how they interact with other people. | ||
| They can't. | ||
| Whether it's because they're too in debt or they're in a fucking terrible neighborhood or they grew up with a crazy mother. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| You took a bad career path, stuck in a fucking abusive job position. | ||
| Whatever the fuck it is that locks you into your reality, your existence. | ||
| It's very difficult for people that are in a torturous position to look at possibilities and options and to look at the possibility and options that this might not be the correct way to live life. | ||
| And that, in reality, my narrow-minded view has set me on this insurmountable path of ultimate failure. | ||
| And there's no way to accumulate enough shit in this life if you're a temporary being. | ||
| There is no way. | ||
| So if that is the focus of your existence, is accumulating... | ||
| But that doesn't mean you shouldn't enjoy some shit. | ||
| Doesn't mean you shouldn't, like, get a fucking Samsung Galaxy S3 and go, ooh! | ||
| Because all that shit's badass, too. | ||
| The reality of something... | ||
| When you hear people talk about... | ||
| I was having a conversation with someone and they started talking about the law of attraction. | ||
| Oh, it's the law of attraction. | ||
| You bring it into your life. | ||
| It's the law of attraction. | ||
| Maybe, but maybe babies die in drive-bys too. | ||
| What's realistic is let's look at this whole thing. | ||
| The reality that we... | ||
| Let's look at this whole thing and be honest about it and say, we woke up in the middle of a dream. | ||
| The American, whoever the fuck you are, the Japanese man who's 50 years old, who wakes up when his alarm clock goes off today and looks at this world, This world woke up in motion. | ||
| There's too many of them, first of all. | ||
| There's too many of them to ever communicate. | ||
| No one understands what the fuck anybody's saying. | ||
| There's too many different languages. | ||
| There's no universal acknowledgement of our plight. | ||
| And we are... | ||
| Headed to doom! | ||
| Ultimately, there's no way, if we continue along a certain path, that it doesn't completely explode in our face. | ||
| Whether it's overpopulation or whether it's pollution or nuclear disaster, there's a certain amount of stops along the way until the whole thing ends. | ||
| Well, I think I agree with you, and I think that Our generation, yours and mine, has come out of the pond. | ||
| And we've had a good life. | ||
| And I love this country because I came down here and built a... | ||
| I like your country better. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I do. | ||
| When the shit hits the fan, I'm moving to Canada for fucking sure. | ||
| I don't even care if it's Montreal. | ||
| I'll deal with that snow. | ||
| I'll take it, Toronto. | ||
| I'll get a snowblower and a warm coat. | ||
| But the thing is, is you sit there and you say, we came out of the pond. | ||
| We realize this shit is happening. | ||
| Yes, we want to live a good life. | ||
| I want... | ||
| Shit to get better precisely because I've had such a good life. | ||
| And I'm not a doom and gloom guy. | ||
| I'm a party guy. | ||
| I like to drink. | ||
| I like to travel. | ||
| I like to eat. | ||
| I like to do stuff. | ||
| I like to learn. | ||
| I like to go to all these different places. | ||
| The reason why I'm like, hey, hold on. | ||
| These guys want to nuke each other. | ||
| Or, hey, hold on. | ||
| The world is sinking. | ||
| Or, hey, hold on. | ||
| This shit's happening. | ||
| It's going to fuck everybody up. | ||
| Is because I like my life. | ||
| Is because I like guys like you. | ||
| Is because I like where we've gotten to to date. | ||
| The problem with it is... | ||
| Is that you sit there and you say, okay, I don't want the next generation to not have that, to not be able to go outside, swim in a river, go fishing, do all that stuff. | ||
| And right now we're at literally the sort of breaking point. | ||
| We're at that infection point of, we can fix it, we can solve it, we're smart, we're good, people want to do it. | ||
| And if you follow, I'm sure you do, the people who follow you, and if you look at what they say on Twitter, and you look at what they say on Facebook, People are fucking angry, and they're down, and they're happy. | ||
| They're not represented. | ||
| They're not represented. | ||
| And the thing is, what's happening, especially globally, let alone in this country, but what's happening globally is that the people with the power are disenfranchised because the systems that are in place are set up as such that they can't be represented. | ||
| So, What this is, is this is true grassroots democracy. | ||
| And by the way, I hope to God it continues and gets bigger and bigger. | ||
| And I was making a joke earlier, this is the first podcast from here. | ||
| And I'm like, I'm going to look back 20 years from now and say, this was the first podcast that changed the world. | ||
| Because this is the root of journalism, which is the root of democracy. | ||
| Well, I think that the people that are in the position of power that are doing these horrible things, We really need to figure out how to heal those motherfuckers. | ||
| I think we have to figure out how to get them the fuck out. | ||
| You've got to get them the fuck out. | ||
| You have to get them the fuck out. | ||
| We've got to discourage that type of behavior in the future. | ||
| I mean, if you want to be a real hippie and a... | ||
| A total idealist. | ||
| You would say that there's got to be a way that almost everybody can change and that these people that are in these positions of power that are looking at things like war and economic... | ||
| Attacks on countries or embargoes or all these different various things that people do that really can cause unbelievable, irreparable harm to communities and families. | ||
| We need to figure out a way to get those people to look at things differently and say, your motivation is off. | ||
| Your motivation is based on some ancient primate shit. | ||
| Where you were running away from Jaguars and you had to be the most vicious motherfucker to survive. | ||
| And that stuff manifests itself today, millions of years later, in the male dominance mentality. | ||
| And that mentality is not best suited for attacks against your fellow man. | ||
| And it can be conquered. | ||
| It can be conquered. | ||
| It can be understood. | ||
| It can be understood in your mindset. | ||
| You will be a happier person if you do not behave in that manner. | ||
| And you won't be any happier if you get more money. | ||
| There's a certain amount of money where it doesn't matter. | ||
| Well, I've got to say also that if you look at it and say, I want real people. | ||
| I want people like me who have had a drink too many, who've done a few drugs, who've done whatever, who've had a real life. | ||
| If you have guys like Romney who's like squeaky clean and whatever, I'm like, I don't want a robot representing me because I'm not a robot. | ||
| I'm flawed and fucked up and I've been through crazy shit. | ||
| He's way more flawed than you. | ||
| Well, see, but the whole thing is I want someone who's human. | ||
| I want someone who's been through shit and who smoked fucking dope when he was fucking nine years old. | ||
| You mean you want someone who's emerged? | ||
| I want someone who knows what the fuck is going on. | ||
| Romney could be saved with mushrooms. | ||
| Mushrooms and tie hookers and just get Romney on a fucking island. | ||
| And just give him some mushrooms and let him understand that this is a fucking dream, man. | ||
| This is one frame in an infinite movie that goes on forever. | ||
| And the only control that you have whatsoever is to enjoy it, to increase harmony, to spread love and happiness. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And listen to people. | |
| The thing is, as you were talking about talking to shemales or talking to Taliban or talking to this or that, The thing is, if you just talk to these motherfuckers, everybody has a point. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Everyone has a point of view. | ||
| Everyone has a point. | ||
| And if you actually say, look, you know, by the way, for example, when I was in Pakistan, they were like, we are super mad that you let... | ||
| The Innocence of Muslims come out, like America, you know, sponsored that, whatever. | ||
| And you're like... | ||
| That's that video you're talking about? | ||
| And you say, you understand that there's millions upon millions of videos uploaded every day, every fucking day on YouTube. | ||
| There's no government regulation. | ||
| There's no, you know, Obama's not sitting there going, ha-ha, we really got him now. | ||
| And they could not believe that. | ||
| They were just like, no, you guys have done this thing and that's why we're shooting. | ||
| There were people killed and there's been, you know, violence because of this and now there's a whole, you know, because a lot of the people are illiterate that the imams say, well, America is doing this and this is part of their policy and whatever. | ||
| And you're like, this was just a bunch of fruitcakes who did a fucking thing. | ||
| And all of a sudden now people are dying and there's, you know, whole militias being mobilized because of this. | ||
| And at that point you're like, If people just actually fucking, you know, which I do, I say, look, I'm going to tell you, I live there. | ||
| I do this. | ||
| I have two of the most popular channels on YouTube. | ||
| People just upload shit. | ||
| It just fucking happens. | ||
| It's not like government policy. | ||
| It's not propaganda. | ||
| It's not this. | ||
| It's not that. | ||
| They don't fucking get it. | ||
| And if you just actually just said, look, dude, here's the way it is. | ||
| Here's the reality of the situation, which nobody does. | ||
| That's the whole fucked up thing. | ||
| Is nobody sits there and says, this is actually what happens. | ||
| This is the truth. | ||
| Well, you're incorrect. | ||
| It's not nobody. | ||
| It's you. | ||
| You do it, you motherfucker. | ||
| Your whole fucking channel does it. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| There's guys like you. | ||
| There's the congressmen that are coming up, like Daniel Seaman, the congressional representative, or a candidate, rather, who is completely honest and well-read and young. | ||
| There's a whole group of people that are coming up now. | ||
| There's a bunch of people. | ||
| That are broadcasting, whether it's the Young Turks or whether it's any number, Alex Jones to a large extent. | ||
| A lot of what Alex Jones says, although absolutely ridiculed in the 1990s, shows to be true in 2012. I've been Alex's friend for a long fucking time. | ||
| And a lot of people think he's crazy, and he's fucking crazy. | ||
| That's why they think he's crazy. | ||
| But he's crazy in a beautiful way, and he's right a lot of the time. | ||
| And that's sort of understood now. | ||
| And there's enough information now that people have their head collectively cocked sideways. | ||
| I think the whole United States is like, wait a minute. | ||
| There's something I tweeted yesterday that someone tweeted me and I retweeted. | ||
| It was 33 different conspiracy theories that turned out to be correct. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And when you go and look at them and you go, oh, okay, this is just – this is sort of how it's always been. | ||
| So what we have to do is figure out how to get these people that are thinking this way in this crazy position of power where they – whatever group, however many, agree to do something – Totally immoral. | ||
| And for profit, I guess. | ||
| It's really the only real reason when it ever comes down to it. | ||
| We have to figure out how to reach people like that and to let them know that this is a false pattern. | ||
| Your mind is locked in some nonsensical thinking. | ||
| That is based on the predatory instincts of animals that had to survive from fucking cougars and jaguars and bears and shit. | ||
| There is a ruthlessness that's designed into the DNA to make sure that the animal procreates and that can be overcome. | ||
| And that we have to understand that the only way to true happiness is to look at each other collectively as if it's us living another life. | ||
| Look at every person you meet as if it's you living a completely different life. | ||
| And I agree with you 100% because... | ||
| Sounds like hippie bullshit, though. | ||
| No, no, but you look at you and you say, look, here's a guy, UFC guy, came up, Taekwondo champion, you're a fighting guy, all this stuff. | ||
| Obviously, we're two guys here sitting here, we're not hippies. | ||
| But what we're coming to is saying, look, we came up, you know, we came up hard, we fought, we did all this stuff, and now we're realizing this shit, and we're saying, hey, you know, we've seen this, we've learned, and this is why, to go back to it, is I don't want politicians representing me who don't understand this. | ||
| Which is, I came up hard, I came up from the streets. | ||
| I learned this shit. | ||
| I learned it the hard way by going to these places. | ||
| And what I've realized is exactly what you said, which is unless we've overcome our base desire, which is, I hate you, I'm going to fucking bomb you. | ||
| We're all dead. | ||
| We're all dead because now it's not a knife. | ||
| It's not a gun. | ||
| It's not an RPG. It's not a tank. | ||
| It's a nuclear fucking warhead. | ||
| And when we start fucking trying to fucking be alpha male with a nuclear warhead, like AQ Khan, then we're fucking doomed. | ||
| Where's that guy? | ||
| Is he still alive? | ||
| He's still alive. | ||
| That motherfucker! | ||
| He's still alive. | ||
| Where is he? | ||
| Where is he? | ||
| He's in Pakistan. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| And he's the reason why there's the proliferation of nuclear fucking technologies. | ||
| Does he have like 20 bitches around him just dancing in their underwear at all times? | ||
| That's what I would do. | ||
| You'd think so. | ||
| But no. | ||
| Be a fucking man with it. | ||
| At least if you're going to be a Concord, be a fucking old school Conan. | ||
| He has a bunch of ISI guys around him at all times. | ||
| What are those guys? | ||
| So the ISI is the CIA of Pakistan. | ||
| And they started the Taliban. | ||
| And they are the guys who are basically running Pakistan. | ||
| And they are the guys who are becoming increasingly radicalized. | ||
| And they're the guys who are saying, we are going to bomb India. | ||
| We need to get those people all on mushrooms. | ||
| Well, what we need to do is just say, you're not allowed. | ||
| You're not allowed to blow up the world. | ||
| You cannot do it. | ||
| And by the way, if we had politicians who were doing the right thing, you would go to India, you'd go to Pakistan and say, you're not allowed. | ||
| Which means that we have to say, Russia's not allowed, we're not allowed, nobody's allowed. | ||
| Because, again, to go back to it, if you're playing roulette, and double zero means the end of the fucking world, you shouldn't be playing fucking roulette. | ||
| And so take that double zero off the fucking board. | ||
| At least if you're playing Russian roulette, you have five chances to not get shot in the head. | ||
| When you're playing world dominance, it's like, how many opportunities do you have to start a nuclear war? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's really not a whole lot of bullets. | ||
| It's not a question of when, if it's a question of when. | ||
| Yeah, there's not a whole lot of chambers. | ||
| The whole thing is fucking ridiculous because it's people locked up in this idea that somehow or another conquering makes things better. | ||
| And somehow or another controlling the resources makes things better. | ||
| And there's all these observations now from people that are paying attention to what's going on in Afghanistan about minerals. | ||
| Minerals and how long they've known that Afghanistan is this incredible deposit of minerals. | ||
| Or Congo. | ||
| What's happening now in the Congo is 100% due to Coltan. | ||
| They wouldn't be fighting. | ||
| They wouldn't have all the money. | ||
| It's called Coltran? | ||
| Coltan. | ||
| Coltan? | ||
| Coltan is a rare thing that makes your iPhone, your Samsung, your iPad, they all need Coltan to actually work. | ||
| And the majority of Coltan actually is in Congo. | ||
| And so what's happened now is this continual warfare, you know, and it's I believe now the sixth bloodiest war in the history of humanity, is all happening because of iPads, iPhones, Samsungs, all these things. | ||
| We're buying them. | ||
| This is the whole thing of we're disconnected. | ||
| I mean, I grew up thinking, well, whatever happens in Africa happens in Africa. | ||
| That's their problem, not my problem. | ||
| And then you realize, oh, that fucking war is happening because I have an iPhone 5. That's the reality of the situation. | ||
| It's sort of analogous to the human experience if you really... | ||
| Boy, that sounds gay. | ||
| Hippie and gay at the same time. | ||
| We're really having a love fest here. | ||
| Trying to pick up a confused dude. | ||
| In the new studio. | ||
| But the human... | ||
| If you look at the human experience and you look at where we're at right now at the highest levels... | ||
| And let's perceive that the highest levels are innovation and technology and that the fact that we can broadcast this with minimal cost, even though it's kind of sucking right now, powerful AT&T. Why'd you get DSL? I don't know, man. | ||
| I had a fucking business manager handle this shit. | ||
| How old is this business manager? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Never met him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Listen, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You need a young kid to do that shit. | |
| I got shit I need to deal with. | ||
| This is not one of them. | ||
| You're throwing me off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where was I? Minerals, everything. | |
| Whatever. | ||
| Is it important that I finish my sentence? | ||
| I have nothing to say, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| I'm grandstanding, clearly. | ||
| I'm trying to somehow or another project better ideas. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Through whiskey. | |
| Through whiskey and marijuana. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Allegedly. | |
| I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing, folks. | ||
| I sound like Colin Quinn there. | ||
| You've got to irrigate the mind. | ||
| Yeah, that's important. | ||
| People who don't drink or have never been drunk, I don't really like you, nor do I trust you. | ||
| Okay, I'm going to be honest. | ||
| I trust drunks. | ||
| I even trust dry drunks. | ||
| You're just saying that because I'm here. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I'm just being honest. | ||
| I appreciate sober people. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| But if you have not at least experienced whiskey, with all the people raving about it, would you not dive in the waters at least once? | ||
| How stubborn are you? | ||
| You've never had a drop of alcohol. | ||
| Who are you partying with, man? | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| If your friends have kept you from a drop of alcohol, they're assholes. | ||
| It's usually people that have had too many drops of alcohol. | ||
| It seems like everyone I know is in AA out here. | ||
| Well, you know what? | ||
| The issue is slightly biological and that's something that I'm willing to admit 100% because I have friends that I trust dearly, like Fitzsimmons. | ||
| Greg Fitzsimmons, Greg and I have been friends since we were in our early 20s. | ||
| I think we met when I was 21 and Greg was probably the same age. | ||
| Greg has always had—he's a legit alcoholic in the sense of he could have a drink today and he could be fine, but there will be a pull, a biological pull that's reinforced by his relatives. | ||
| It's reinforced by generations. | ||
| I have many friends that have this issue, and I do not discount it. | ||
| My friend Tate Fletcher, he's a brilliant guy. | ||
| And Tate has a problem with substances. | ||
| He cannot... | ||
| I go, could you even take a baby hit of a joint? | ||
| He goes, maybe, or I could wake up in an alleyway naked and not know what the fuck happened. | ||
| And I'm not willing to make that jump. | ||
| I'm not willing to take that chance. | ||
| There's biological weirdness. | ||
| People fucking get... | ||
| They die from peanuts. | ||
| A person can be allergic to peanuts and die. | ||
| I would never discount that. | ||
| But I think, generally speaking... | ||
| There's a mentality of non-chance-taking, boring bullshit that comes with the I've never had a drink people. | ||
| There's a few examples that are contrary, like Penn Jillette. | ||
| He's never had a drop of alcohol. | ||
| The only time he's ever had any sort of medication is when he's been injured after surgery. | ||
| Like some sort of a painkiller. | ||
| But he's a brilliant guy and I love talking to him. | ||
| He's one of the rare examples. | ||
| Most people that have never even been fucked up... | ||
| You never tried to get laid when it was preposterous. | ||
| You've never tried to pick up a girl where there's no way medically you can get an erection. | ||
| If you've never been 21 years old and thrown up in the backseat of a cab, who are you? | ||
| Who are you and who do you party with? | ||
| But I also think that it's... | ||
| Again, to go back to the people we're talking to is... | ||
| It's a way to sort of distance yourself from all the norms and to say, I'm going to question what the fuck's going on. | ||
| And maybe some conspiracy theories are not true, and maybe some aren't true. | ||
| But at least we have to question them. | ||
| Oh, for sure there's a lot that aren't true. | ||
| For sure there's not. | ||
| But we have to question them. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And that's the whole thing. | ||
| We have to question shit. | ||
| That's what we are as humans. | ||
| We have to fucking question shit, and we also have to say, how do we get better? | ||
| It's a funny thing to say, but I'm not endorsing alcohol consumption, but there's a certain humility that comes from being an educated drunk. | ||
| You step back and kind of, you know, you just realize, like, look, this is all fun. | ||
| You know, like, Tony Bourdain. | ||
| You know Anthony Bourdain? | ||
| I've had the pleasure of having him on the podcast. | ||
| He's a guy just like you. | ||
| A regular dude. | ||
| You talk to him. | ||
| But there's a certain, like, having a drink with you, having a drink with him, having a drink with Anyone who's just a real guy, where there's a moment that comes, where you've had a couple of drinks, where you look at each other and you go, ah, we're fucked, huh? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| It's crazy! | ||
| But he's a perfect example of a dude who had a cooking show on to travel. | ||
| Well, before that, he's a chef. | ||
| Yeah, he was a chef. | ||
| Who wrote a book. | ||
| Kitchen Confidential. | ||
| And the book is so honest and crazy. | ||
| It told the truth. | ||
| It told the truth about what the hell happens in restaurants. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But he had a cooking show on a travel channel. | ||
| Nothing and nothing. | ||
| And he turned it into a political statement. | ||
| And he turned it into trying to tell the truth. | ||
| And he turned it into, we're going to eat some food. | ||
| But what the fuck is really going on with real people? | ||
| And I think, again, there's a whole movement. | ||
| There's you, there's him, there's me. | ||
| But there's like hundreds of thousands. | ||
| Millions of us. | ||
| There's millions of us. | ||
| They're just fighting their voices. | ||
| Just now, because of technology. | ||
| And I think that him, and I believe he built the Travel Channel, What about Bert Kreischer? | ||
|
unidentified
|
How do you feel about Bert? | |
| BertBertBert.com? | ||
| Well, just to finish with Anthony Bernin, I would say that that guy went out into the world and talked about shit that you should talk about on a channel that would never talk about that shit otherwise. | ||
| And a channel, by the way, that's very conservative. | ||
| Owned by Scripps. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| By who? | ||
| Scripps. | ||
| Scripps? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So travel channels owned by Scripps. | ||
| Is that like prescriptions? | ||
| No, it's like S-C-R-I-P-P-S. It's a very Christian fundamentalist. | ||
| And he takes a lot of heat. | ||
| And he gets a lot of shit. | ||
| And they tell him not to do stuff. | ||
| And he says, fuck you. | ||
| I'm going to do it anyway. | ||
| Because he wants to fucking tell the truth. | ||
| And I've got to give it up to him. | ||
| He has a lot of fucking courage. | ||
| In their defense. | ||
| In their defense. | ||
| I do understand that the Travel Channel has started to try to re-evaluate their position. | ||
| And maybe reach out. | ||
| Because I heard they're interested in Ari Shafir. | ||
| Because some of their executives saw him kill at the DC Improv. | ||
| And so they decided to look at him. | ||
| He opened the door. | ||
| Scripps is super, super conservative, super Christian. | ||
| Their poster child is a dude who goes out in the world and says, we'll eat some food, we'll cook some shit, but I'm going to tell you the fucking truth about what's going on. | ||
| You know what he did? | ||
| He said, I'm going to show you some cool shit. | ||
| I'm going to show you some cool music. | ||
| I'm going to show you some cool bands. | ||
| And people are going to talk about what's really going on. | ||
| And people are going to go, by the way... | ||
| Watch the Travel Channel, okay? | ||
| Burt Kreischer, I love him to death. | ||
| I would totally watch any show that he's on, but I never watched the Travel Channel before Anthony Bourdain was on. | ||
| I never even thought about watching it. | ||
| I don't know how I even tuned into his show. | ||
| I suspect that I was just channel surfing. | ||
| I was just flipping through channels and all of a sudden there's this guy talking about Vietnam and how much he loves Vietnam. | ||
| And I remember going, who is this crazy fuck? | ||
| Oh, Saudi Arabia, Liberia. | ||
| He's eating camels and he's loving it. | ||
| But most importantly, he approaches the whole thing with this really palpable feeling of humility and honesty and pie-eyed drunkenness on occasion. | ||
| It's not just admirable. | ||
| It's enticing. | ||
| It's attractive. | ||
| It pulls me... | ||
| You know, it's like your shows. | ||
| All of your shows, man. | ||
| I found out about Vice because of the Heinemann episode. | ||
| The guy who lives in the Arctic. | ||
| Where does he live? | ||
| Northeast Alaska or something like that? | ||
| He lives in the most remote part of the world. | ||
| He's the most remote human being in the world. | ||
| I have a message board on my website, and the message board is before Twitter. | ||
| It's been around since 1998. My friend Andrew started the message board, and it's been this incredible magnet for fucking weirdos and a lot of cool people. | ||
| But what's been really fascinating that Twitter sort of surpassed it in a way just because of the sheer access, but what my message board became was this strange area where cool shit would be drawn to. | ||
| So they would post these things, these threads about shit you would never find out on your own. | ||
| Just the average person is not connected to community. | ||
| You're never going to find it. | ||
| Why would you even look at Vice.com? | ||
| What would you be Googling that would connect you to this series? | ||
| Someone put up this link to this video and I watched this guy that's got frozen caribou hanging from a fucking tree and he's sawing them and cooking them and your guys that were there who were just blown away by this experience of hanging out with this dude who lives in a 100-foot square shack in the fucking most hostile environment known to man. | ||
| And to see that he was not, not only was he not a loon, but that he was, there was no narration. | ||
| The narration was just sort of describing how they got there and what was going on, but it was never any judgment on people or the scenario. | ||
| And what I found really fascinating about it, I was like, you got to know a guy with all the, and Heinemann has lived here for 65 years! | ||
| He's content, wandering the frozen countryside, hoping to spot a caribou. | ||
| Is he happy? | ||
| Only Heinmo truly knows. | ||
| You didn't do that. | ||
| You instead inserted intelligent people into an alternative sort of situation. | ||
| This sounds like we're belowing each other. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's a lot of people right now that are going to be online like, Bro, I'm glad I didn't fucking watch this one live. | |
| Well, no, but seriously, the thing is, it's because we practice a type of journalism called immersionism, where we go, we immerse ourselves in the actual story, and we just press record. | ||
| You guys changed this podcast. | ||
| I want you to know that for sure. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| That episode and the subsequent episodes that I watched, all the different... | ||
| You guys changed. | ||
| Because I was like, this guy is fucking... | ||
| You're there. | ||
| You're actually there. | ||
| You know, you're really... | ||
| Right when I was making fun of kissing someone's dick, I kissed his dick somewhere. | ||
| But I will say, talking about Twitter is, after I do this podcast, you get so much response from people who give a shit. | ||
| And people who are... | ||
| Like saying this shit like the truth and it blew my mind and this and that and you realize like you know we're guys just you know talking about shit and whatever and they're going this is I learn more on that podcast and Fox and MSNBC and fucking CNN and everybody all put together and that's the tragedy it's it's great for us it's the tragedy because we're just regular dudes going okay this is what the fuck is happening I don't think it's a tragedy, man. | ||
| I think it's the normal chain of progression, and I think it's a natural system. | ||
| And I think that you don't get to be you unless you've seen Burt Reynolds get a crazy facelift. | ||
| You don't get to be you until you've seen... | ||
| All the most preposterous shit that people have done. | ||
| You don't get to be you until you read all the crazy accounts of nonsensical violence on the internet, the crazy revolutions in Arab Spring and all over the world and all the things you physically experience by actually being in these places where there are chaotic events. | ||
| Events that are just uncontrollable by the population. | ||
| It's out of hand. | ||
| But it doesn't mean anything unless people watch it. | ||
| It doesn't mean anything unless there's an audience. | ||
| Right, but you're compelled. | ||
| You can't even take credit for what you're doing because you're compelled. | ||
| You're compelled by the natural order of the universe. | ||
| The natural order of the universe is to move in a progressive direction, in a more understanding and more comprehensive, enlightened direction. | ||
| That's all of our ideas. | ||
| The idea is not to maintain the science of the 1700s. | ||
| The idea is to figure out how to, you know, how to get on Mars and create an atmosphere so we can have a new planet in case this one gets hit by an asteroid. | ||
| The idea is to consistently move forward. | ||
| And I think we're just caught in the struggle of that happening. | ||
| And my real hope for the world, you know, all that shit about The people that believe that you can manifest reality, the secret, and the idea that your own mind, and the more you focus on things. | ||
| Maybe, maybe, maybe it's just the fact that you're not paying attention to what you could do positively, and that's what impacts the world. | ||
| And positively, what we've got to figure out how to do is to change the mindset of all the people that are in positions of power. | ||
| Instead of fighting them and attacking them, try to understand the fact that the human animal is incredibly frustrated. | ||
| We don't know what's going on. | ||
| We have these fucking bodies that are exactly the same as pre-internet, pre-movies, pre-cars, pre-planes. | ||
| And it's all happened so quickly all around us that we haven't had the chance to really, as a super organism, take in all of the knowledge and distribute it in a way that we govern over the consciousness of the population in a fair and ethical way that keeps everybody happy. | ||
| But I think, ultimately, that that is a possible scenario. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| It has to be. | ||
| It has to be. | ||
| If we don't believe that, then we're really fucked. | ||
| I don't think that dummies... | ||
| I don't think this is doom and gloom. | ||
| I think this is positive. | ||
| Because as long as we know what the fuck is going on, we can work towards doing something about it. | ||
| The problem is, is we didn't know what the fuck was going on because nobody fucking told us. | ||
| That's a perfect way of describing it. | ||
| That's a perfect way of describing it. | ||
| The real problem is that we were living in some crazy movie. | ||
| Since the 1950s, we have been locked into some sort of crazy version of the world that is in many ways based on fiction. | ||
| And the real issue is whether the world are the worlds. | ||
| Remember when the world are the worlds? | ||
| You gotta piss. | ||
| No. | ||
| You gotta go? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| What are you doing with your head? | ||
| I'm going to go get a drink, but I didn't want you to say that. | ||
| The War of the Worlds freaked fucking people out. | ||
| If you don't know what it is, Orson Welles in, like, who knows when the fuck it was. | ||
| Alex wants to get out of here, but it's not happening, bitch. | ||
| Take a seat. | ||
| Don't worry about your previous commitments. | ||
| They're not as interesting. | ||
| The War of the Worlds was the first time where human beings were... | ||
| Able to be tricked into thinking by Orson Welles that there was an attack by alien beings. | ||
| Like, people freaked out. | ||
| And it's really difficult to discern how much of it is bullshit, how much of it actually happened because they say there were suicides. | ||
| Who knows what the actual statistics were? | ||
| You know, we're talking about... | ||
| The 1930s or whatever the fuck it was. | ||
| But the reality is that human beings were not prepared for the information that was coming at them. | ||
| They weren't prepared. | ||
| That wasn't a regular part of their life where they had grown accustomed to having This fakery planted on them. | ||
| It's not like today with the onion. | ||
| Every now and then I'll retweet an article and it turns out to be some new fake onion. | ||
| There's a bunch of dudes who think that the onion is cool so they create their own bullshit news story. | ||
| Those motherfuckers! | ||
| And you retweet them. | ||
| But that's to be expected. | ||
| The people that existed Before the internet or before... | ||
| Those are the people that sort of set the scenario. | ||
| They set the momentum of our culture and they did not have access to the shit we have now. | ||
| The idea that we're so hung up on the brilliant wisdom of some people that lived in the 1700s and created the Declaration of Independence, which by the way was written on fucking hemp, the first draft. | ||
| The fact that we're committed to the ideology, these people that lived... | ||
| They didn't have cars, man. | ||
| Or 2,000 years ago, that's when religion started. | ||
| And ever since then, everything else is a cult. | ||
| But 2,000 years ago, that's when we knew what the fuck was going on. | ||
| Well, I got a joke in my act about Romney, that it's a cult when you know who wrote it. | ||
| He's a cult. | ||
| It's not like we have to go back to some fucking shit they found in Qumran that was written on animal skins. | ||
| We know the guy. | ||
| His name was Joseph Smith, and he was only 14. I mean, this is not that confusing. | ||
| You're a fucking cult, man. | ||
| And he found the Book of Latter-day Saints in his backyard. | ||
| But you know what's beautiful about the Mormon cult is that what I've learned from my personal experiences Is that there are certain people in this life, and although I don't feel it's justified to lie to people, there's certain people who do get by better if they follow at least a scaffolding of morality. | ||
| Something that lets them believe that at the very top there's a cherry, and that cherry's God, and he's right up there on top of the whipped cream, and you just gotta get to him. | ||
| I think that's the problem, is that if you look at this, we were talking about global warming earlier, and you say, okay, Yeah, shit's fucked up. | ||
| The world is thinking, we're not going to believe in that because of God. | ||
| And you're like, yeah, but you're going to die and your kids are going to die and it's going to be bad if we don't just say this is the thing that is bad, that's happening and it's happening. | ||
| No, because it's God and whatever. | ||
| And they want, and I think it's this yearning to have, there's a rational being who has a plan for all of us. | ||
| Well, the fact of the matter is, We are creating our reality and we are not a rational entity. | ||
| Humanity isn't rational. | ||
| Humanity is irrational and complex and fucked up and weird. | ||
| But at some point somebody's got to come up and say, yeah, we're irrational and we're weird. | ||
| Given. | ||
| But there are certain things that we do which are self-destructive, and by the way, they have to stop. | ||
| For example, if you have the ability to destroy the fucking world, which is my world, you're destroying my world, right? | ||
| And you're, you know, halfway across the world over there. | ||
| If that's even a possibility, no is the answer. | ||
| No, I'm not going to let that happen. | ||
| So that's why I keep preaching on this stuff because when I went there and I said... | ||
| Bill Clinton said it's the end of the world, by the way. | ||
| He did? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What did he say? | ||
| So when he left the presidency, he said that is the reason why cargo war, the war between India and Pakistan, was the glimpse of the end of the world. | ||
| And then he got his dick sucked by a youngin'. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holla! | |
| So for me... | ||
| That's why. | ||
| That's why he takes blowjobs from interns. | ||
| If the fucking end is near, why not? | ||
| At least enjoy that sweet release. | ||
| Eat, drink, and be merry. | ||
| Eat, drink, and be merry. | ||
| The problem with that is, is when we went back, we realized, oh, it's fucking way worse than when he said it was the end of the world. | ||
| So, hold on, hold on. | ||
| The whole thing is, though, is we can stop it. | ||
| We can say, fuck it. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| We can't just, we just have to say there can be no, you know, intercontinental or ballistic or nuclear warheads. | ||
| There can be no, because what you're saying, just so everybody understands, what you're saying then is, As long as that technology is there, it will go to Iran. | ||
| It will go to Pakistan. | ||
| It will go to Congo. | ||
| It will go to Libya. | ||
| It will go... | ||
| Because the technology is there, right? | ||
| And what happens when Qaddafi... | ||
| Now Qaddafi is gone, but what happens when Qaddafi has warheads? | ||
| What happens when AQ Khan has warheads? | ||
| What happens when Iran has warheads? | ||
| When Israel attacks Iran, because they can't have a nuclear Iran, What's going to happen? | ||
| What will happen when they attack Iran? | ||
| Everybody knows. | ||
| Everybody knows what will happen when they attack Iran. | ||
| And it's going to be a fucking catastrophe. | ||
| However, it's nothing. | ||
| It's zero compared to what's happening in India and Pakistan. | ||
| Israel and Palestine is like, you know, like, I guess when you're like 20, 21, and you have that one couple that just won't fucking break up. | ||
| And they keep fighting, and they keep asking you for advice. | ||
| You know, what do you think I should tell her, bro? | ||
| What do you think I should tell her? | ||
| And I'm like, I think you should fucking run! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know there's people now. | |
| Fucking stupid shit. | ||
| Well, yeah, there's a lot of them that use that as a distraction, right? | ||
| Don't they? | ||
| Aren't all conflicts ultimately some form of distraction? | ||
| Because if the Israelis looked at the Palestinians that are suffering and these poor people that are trying to make this sort of... | ||
| Home for themselves in this Gaza region, this very dangerous and hostile region. | ||
| What if they treated them all as Israelis? | ||
| What if they treated them all as just fellow humans? | ||
| What if instead of lumping them into groups based on ideology and who believes what old crazy shit, what if they just looked at them as, that could be your cousins? | ||
| I mean, that would instantly change the whole thing. | ||
| The idea that we need to exist in a conflict scenario is the problem. | ||
| That's the real issue. | ||
| I don't agree with that. | ||
| I have a neighbor. | ||
| I don't even know this motherfucker. | ||
| He wanted me to chop down my trees, but he's still nice. | ||
| I say hi to him when I drive by. | ||
| The only conversation I've ever had with this guy was in conflict. | ||
| I don't want to hate the dude. | ||
| I want him to be happy. | ||
| Just don't be crazy. | ||
| Leave me alone, you motherfucker. | ||
| I'll give you a hug. | ||
| Come here, give me a hug. | ||
| What are you, nuts? | ||
| Come on, let's go have a drink. | ||
| The whole world can approach other human beings like that. | ||
| It's just we have to get past this ingrained scenario that we have in our head, which is that war is a part of nature, and nature It's insurmountable. | ||
| It is what it is. | ||
| You've got to accept men are going to want to be philanders and there's going to be conquests and swords and fucking rockets. | ||
| But if you go to Mexico and you see what's happening there now, it's the rule of the thug. | ||
| If you go to Pakistan, it's the rule of the thug. | ||
| If you go to Congo, it's the rule of the thug. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because conflict breeds lowest common denominator. | ||
| It breeds, I have a gun and I'm willing to shoot it. | ||
| Those aren't high-thinking people. | ||
| Those aren't people thinking we're going to save the world. | ||
| Those aren't people thinking the world is sinking. | ||
| Those aren't people thinking we could destroy the environment by having a nuclear standoff. | ||
| What they're thinking is, I'm going to gain power because I have a bunch of guys, you know, young guys, generally young men, with guns. | ||
| If you look at what's happening in Europe right now, this is what's terrifying, is you go to Spain, and you say Spain, you know, old country, educated country, you know, EU country. | ||
| 50% of young people are unemployed. | ||
| So you've taken away their future. | ||
| We were just shooting there. | ||
| Six million people came out and fucking shut the whole country down. | ||
| That's people who are pissed off. | ||
| Really pissed off. | ||
| While you were filming there, what happened? | ||
| Riots. | ||
| What were they about? | ||
| Well, they're about anti-austerity. | ||
| So it's young people saying we're fucked. | ||
| But I mean, there's riots in Paris. | ||
| I don't know what austerity means. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| So, you know, Spain is fucked economically. | ||
| Greece is fucked economically. | ||
| What's happening there, this is what's really terrifying, is that in – so, prolonged economic crisis, so the recession. | ||
| Now, the last time this happened was the depression. | ||
| Now, what happened because of the depression was the rise of radical political solutions, i.e. | ||
| communism or fascism. | ||
| of the Communist Party in Greece. | ||
| And to counteract that, you have the Golden Dawn, which are full-on fascists, who now are 14% of the government. | ||
| Did you say the Golden Dawn? | ||
| Golden Dawn are... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dawn? | |
| Yeah, that's what I heard. | ||
| The Golden Dawn, they have... | ||
| Do you just say the Golden Dawn and we'll pretend? | ||
| Because it's ridiculous, whatever it is. | ||
| Golden Dawn. | ||
| Yeah, okay. | ||
| They do the Nazi salute. | ||
| They have the swastika as their thing. | ||
| Imagine if they had a big fucking thing on their shirt. | ||
| It was a big golden dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Frothy dongs. | |
| Would it be hard or would that be offensive? | ||
| For a military, it would have to be like... | ||
| Well, they have the support of the military and the police. | ||
| And everywhere we went was anti-immigration, anti-EU, anti-this, anti-that. | ||
| And what's happening in Europe, this is what's terrifying is, because you have an economic crisis, you have the rise of communist and fascist. | ||
| So, for example, in France, you have a very far-left government, and the second party is, Front National, fascist. | ||
| And you sit there and you say, okay, the exact same political situation, exactly, That started World War II is happening today in Europe. | ||
| Not fucking Africa, not Pakistan, not India, Europe. | ||
| And it's happening in Germany, it's happening in Scandinavia, it's happening in Spain, it's happening in Italy, it's happening in Greece, it's happening in all these countries. | ||
| And you sit there and everyone's just watching as exactly the same fucking thing that started World War II to the T! To the fucking T! Riots in the streets, ultra-right, ultra-left, wing parties fighting each other, radical parties getting more and more power, and you're saying, what the fuck do we have to do? | ||
| Do we have to relive it again? | ||
| It's exactly the same thing that started World War II. Is that just a natural cycle of humanity? | ||
| I mean, if you look at societies, you look at cultures, and you look at this rise and fall, when you go to the Acropolis and you see ancient Greek ruins, and you wonder, why are these... | ||
| Regular houses like really close to this incredible structure. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| Is this inevitable? | ||
| Are we in this constant state of developing consciousness and one of the big wrestling matches of trying to sort of innovate and accomplish higher levels of Of society and culture is that you have to meet some sort of opposition. | ||
| And if you don't meet opposition, you won't have the motivation to really accelerate things as fast as the technology around you is accelerating. | ||
| You can completely get out of hand like it is right now. | ||
| Like it is right now. | ||
| With dictators and crazy fucks controlling nuclear weapons. | ||
| It's almost like Those things have to be in place in order to motivate the highest levels of thinking. | ||
| Well, you know, the cliché is those who don't understand history are doomed to repeat it. | ||
| And what's interesting is when you go talk to young people in Europe and you say you understand that this is exactly the same thing that happened at the start of World War II, they're like, they don't know what you're talking about. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they don't understand history. | ||
| The other thing is they don't understand war. | ||
| And if you ever go look at war, and this is what I was talking about with Iraq, is war isn't the manly, you know, I got my shoulder nicked by a bullet or, you know, I come back with a Purple Heart. | ||
| War is a catheter bag. | ||
| War is I don't walk again. | ||
| War is I'm irradiated. | ||
| War is I'm fucked up in the brain for the rest of my life. | ||
| And those who don't understand war are doomed to repeat it. | ||
| And by the way, hawks and people who say, let's go to war, let's go to war. | ||
| Go to war. | ||
| Go see a war zone. | ||
| It's fucking tragic. | ||
| It's tragic from start to fucking finish. | ||
| It's babies with no fucking fathers. | ||
| It's every man fucking killed. | ||
| It's rape. | ||
| It's, in some cases in Africa, cannibalism. | ||
| It's literally the lowest form of what we are as humanity. | ||
| And people who say, let's go to fucking war, let's go to war, you should fucking realize that. | ||
| Before you go to war, young dudes that we know are going to come back and their dick isn't going to work again, they're never going to shit right again. | ||
| All this stuff and you go, okay, that's what these people... | ||
| Are proposing in Europe, in India, in Pakistan, in Africa, in Southeast Asia, in some cases in South America, and in some cases here. | ||
| That's what people are proposing. | ||
| You're like, what the fuck? | ||
| I would just like to take anyone who wants to say, let's go to war, I'd like to take them to a war zone. | ||
| Because if you take people to a war zone, first you puke, then you cry, and then you freak the fuck out. | ||
| How many people do you think in positions of power actually go to war zones? | ||
| None. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And some must. | ||
| I mean, you see photos. | ||
| You don't, but you don't see what it really does. | ||
| So you occasionally meet the wounded, but you don't go to the battlefield. | ||
| The reason why I do what I do is because I've been to war zones, And I've seen shit that makes your stomach fucking turn, and you'll never sleep right again. | ||
| Because when you see what war really fucking does, and talk to Marines, and talk to Rangers, and talk to guys who come back from war. | ||
| Talk to them before they go, and then talk to them when they come back. | ||
| It's a completely different fucking conversation. | ||
| I have, and it's very similar to people that I know that have been to jail. | ||
| I have a friend, we were friends when I was a teenager, and he was always crazy. | ||
| And he just vanished. | ||
| We didn't know what happened because I just knew him from the martial arts gym that I trained at. | ||
| But he came back three years later with all these crazy scars all over his body. | ||
| He had been in prison. | ||
| And he was a completely different human being. | ||
| It was like before he was this lovable troublemaker and three years later the lovable troublemaker was gone. | ||
| There was a psycho. | ||
| There was a guy who had He would fight for survival. | ||
| He was like a wild animal. | ||
| You won't come back normal. | ||
| Well, I've met friends that have gone to war, too. | ||
| I've had quite a few friends that were in the military and went over and came back, including a buddy of mine who went over as a mercenary. | ||
| It's a weird conversation when you're alone, sitting down on a curb somewhere going, so what did you have to do? | ||
| What was it like? | ||
| How much did they pay you? | ||
| Do you want to do it again? | ||
| Are you done? | ||
| I'm done. | ||
| Are you sure? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| There's realities in this world that I think most people in their day-to-day existence do not consider as a part of the equation. | ||
| And those realities are a real problem. | ||
| They're a real problem for our culture. | ||
| Because not only are they disgusting, but they're avoidable. | ||
| Most of them are avoidable. | ||
| We have a distorted perception of what can be done with the resources that we have in place. | ||
| And I think that distorted perception is based on greed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When you see war and the aftermath of war, which is, again, to describe it, I'm not even going to do it justice, but milky eyes from chemical weapons, people with their limbs hacked off systematically, women who have been raped 50, 70, 100 times. | ||
| Incredibly scarred people, and by the way, if you go over, especially if you go over from our culture, spend three years in that culture, and look, it's chronicled after World War II, after Vietnam, after Afghanistan, after Iraq, and you go to these things, you will never be normal again. | ||
| You will never, either mentally or physically, you will never be normal again. | ||
| So, why do we still fucking rattle our sabers? | ||
| Why do we still say we're going to fight? | ||
| Why do we still say we're going to fuck each other up? | ||
| And the thing is, is if you look at it and you say, okay, why the fuck did we go to Iraq? | ||
| Why the fuck were we there? | ||
| All these fucking guys, all these Marines, all these army guys who come back fucked up, why did you come back? | ||
| Why did you come back so fucked up and you're never going to be normal again? | ||
| Why? | ||
| Why? | ||
| Was it Al-Qaeda? | ||
| Was it 9-11? | ||
| No. | ||
| Jesus Christ, Shane Smith, you motherfucking downer. | ||
| I was going to go home tonight and maybe watch a little Boardwalk Empire. | ||
| Reminisce about how fucked up people were in the past. | ||
| That's your network now. | ||
| That's the network. | ||
| By the way, we're doing a new show. | ||
| And the other thing is, I will say this. | ||
| Next year we're launching a news channel in 18 countries, 18 languages, 24 hours, news around the world. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because news is so fucked that we're going to do news on our own. | ||
| Fuck it, fuck you, fuck everybody. | ||
| We're going to do it on our own way. | ||
| That's a lot of fucks, buddy. | ||
| You sure you want to throw all those out there? | ||
| I don't know if that's good karma. | ||
| Brian? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| Brian says it's not a good thing. | ||
| You've got to be careful with what you project. | ||
| And by the way, I have to go now because we're launching our news channel and we're going to go do the deal right now. | ||
| And I wanted to come here before we did that because this is what I enjoy doing. | ||
| Shane Smith, you, sir, are a bad motherfucker. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| It's been an honor once again to have you on the show. | ||
| Honestly, you've changed the show. | ||
| I would like to say this is the first fucking podcast from the new... | ||
| The new studio, which I fucking love. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| This is day one. | ||
| Our internet sucks a fat dick. | ||
| Joe Rogan! | ||
| We will fix it, though, folks. | ||
| And if it's possible, we will fix it, goddammit. | ||
| We will get a satellite for the roof, okay? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's even worse, I think. | |
| I think that's way worse. | ||
| We're going to make this shit happen. | ||
| Shane Smith, you bad motherfucker. | ||
| Follow him on Twitter. | ||
| It's ShaneSmith30. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because Shane Smith... | ||
| Anonymous is a greedy bitch and doesn't want to give up his fucking name. | ||
| Listen, Shane Smith, all I want you to do is go and watch a few videos of the real Shane Smith in the fucking Congo, and you, sir, will give up your Twitter name, okay? | ||
| There is more important things than you. | ||
| Can't you be Snuggle Bunny 69 or some shit, son? | ||
| Go to Vice.com and be informed in an honest and real fashion, you fucks. | ||
| And one day, soon, there will be a show produced by Vice that will be on HB motherfucking O. And what is that? | ||
| What is it called? | ||
| It's called Vice. | ||
| It's called Vice. | ||
| That's all you need to know. | ||
| Why fuck around and get creative and call it Snowflowers through an extra dimension. | ||
| It would have been better if I planned that out in advance. | ||
| I would have had some better things to say there, but I ran into a wall. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| Time to pull myself out with August 1st, Brian Redband. | ||
|
unidentified
|
August 1st. | |
| Did I say August? | ||
| Why do I always say August and December? | ||
| I might be a little drunk. | ||
| August and December, to me, for whatever reason, they blend together. | ||
| If it's in August and you're listening to this in the future, and it's the apocalypse, and you go to the Moody Theater in Austin doesn't even exist anymore. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I just went brain. | |
| I stumbled over my words. | ||
| December 1st, it will be Duncan motherfucking Trussell, Brian motherfucking Redband, and me. | ||
| And we'll be at the Moody Theater in Austin, Texas, which is, if you're listening live, which I don't think anybody is at this point, it will be this Saturday night, December 1st. | ||
| Come get your freak on with us in Tejas. | ||
| Thank you to Onnit.com for sponsoring this podcast. | ||
| Thanks for providing... | ||
| The best supplements available at the best prices available and the ethics behind it to give 100% money back guarantee on the first 30 pills. | ||
| Nobody's trying to rip you off. | ||
| They're just trying to sell you the best vitamins, the best nutrients. | ||
| Use them in accordance with a healthy lifestyle as Shane Smith drinks whiskey and allegedly smokes cigarettes. | ||
| Trust me, bitches. | ||
| It doesn't matter, okay? | ||
| You can have all the kale shakes of the world. | ||
| Your shit will end! | ||
| It will end. | ||
| But what I'm trying to do is have the part that's not ending as fun as possible. | ||
| And what I found is that a little kale shakes actually help. | ||
| It makes you feel better. | ||
| It increases your mood. | ||
| A little exercise. | ||
| A little vitamins. | ||
| Some kettlebells. | ||
| See those shit by your feet? | ||
| That's what I throw around, son. | ||
| That's manly as fuck. | ||
| Those are called kettlebells. | ||
| Those are 60 pounds. | ||
| Don't worry about it. | ||
| I got those. | ||
| This show's also sponsored by DeathSquad.tv. | ||
| My little buddy Brian Redband's Buy the t-shirts. | ||
| Podcast Network, which, by the way, includes one of the best podcasts on iTunes right now, which is Kevin Pereira's Pointless. | ||
| He is fucking brilliant. | ||
| He's awesome. | ||
| He's a beautiful human being. | ||
| He's got awesome bone structure. | ||
| He's a sexy bitch. | ||
| Pouty lips. | ||
| And he's got it all going on. | ||
| I love the fucking shit out of that dude. | ||
| And he is hooked up to the Death Squad Network. | ||
| And you can get his podcast online. | ||
| I'm on iTunes along with Ian Edwards. | ||
| What's it called? | ||
| Preposterous. | ||
| Preposterous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sessions. | |
| Another fucking beautiful human being. | ||
| You know, one of the coolest things about having this podcast, as I said before, is that I get to have these beautiful conversations with people like you, Shane Smith. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Love it. | |
| Love it. | ||
| Or people like any number of you fuckheads have been on my show. | ||
| All you crazy bitches, including John McAfee, who will be on tomorrow. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Yeah, fascinating conversationalist with a brilliant technological genius. | ||
| I just said fascinating conversationalist. | ||
| I think it might be time to pull the fucking plug, Brian, while you let me ramble! | ||
| Thanks to Ting.com. | ||
|
unidentified
|
T-I-N-G. Rum and Ting. | |
| If you go to, I don't know what it is, Ting.joe something, whatever. | ||
| I said it earlier. | ||
| I'm not even supposed to say it twice. | ||
| Listen, there's no structure to any of these commercials, but one thing that you can guarantee, ladies and gentlemen, we will never, ever, ever have something that we promote on this show that we do not believe in. | ||
| We're not trying to rip you off. | ||
| We're just trying to keep this bitch rolling, okay? | ||
| Alright. | ||
| As-salamu alaykum, you dirty fucks. | ||
| Tomorrow, John McAfee. | ||
| Wednesday, somebody. | ||
| I can't really remember who. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Duncan Trussell! | |
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Oh, the motherfucker! | ||
| Duncan Trussell's in the house! | ||
| And we'll see you fucks at the Moody Theater Saturday night. | ||
| Holla! |
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