Oct. 2, 2012 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:54:32
Participants
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Yeah, is that it? | ||
| Is that for real? | ||
| I always wondered when I was a little kid, why do American Indian songs sound so like, like what is that? | ||
| Sounds awesome. | ||
| Then I realized they're high as fuck. | ||
| Because when you're high as fuck, then it seems like it sounds kind of cool. | ||
| Jesus, dude. | ||
| It's sounding really cool right now, Rogan. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| The rattling sound that you hear, ladies and gentlemen, is an actual bottle of Alpha Brain. | ||
| I do not... | ||
| You also hear my fucking laptop in the background because I'm retarded. | ||
| This is Alpha Brain. | ||
| This is what I take before I do anything. | ||
| Because I'm an Alpha Brain junkie, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| I take this shit before I do stand-up. | ||
| I'm not lying about this, by the way. | ||
| I take this before I do any podcast, any UFC. I've done UFCs before without them and I panic! | ||
| I panic! | ||
| I gotta go with extra Red Bull. | ||
| Me and Mike Goldberg make fucking... | ||
| We have races to see who can get to the bathroom first. | ||
| Red Bull goes right through your son. | ||
| You guys should double stack it. | ||
| This is not a Red Bull type feeling if you're wondering what alpha brain is. | ||
| It's essentially nutrients that enhance your brain's ability to produce neurotransmitters. | ||
| It's all... | ||
| Different nutrients that have been shown to have a positive effect on brain function. | ||
| It is a very controversial subject. | ||
| I've looked at both ends of it. | ||
| I've talked to people who think it's a placebo. | ||
| I believe that everybody's body works completely differently. | ||
| I know that some people can eat peanuts and have a great old time and other people eat them and they're fucking dead. | ||
| I don't understand that. | ||
| But what I do understand is What benefits me and what has been shown to benefit people and what has a long history of human use. | ||
| And that's all the ingredients inside of AlphaBrain. | ||
| To go and check this out, go to Onnit.com. | ||
| That's O-N-N-I-T. And all of it is explained to you. | ||
| And the only reason why I would be in business with anybody, and this includes Ting, which we're in business with sometimes, or Audible, or Alienware, any of the people that we talk about on the show, even that we don't get money from, like H2O, or C2O rather. | ||
| Yeah, water doesn't give us any money, those cunts, cheap bitches. | ||
| C2O coconut water is fucking delicious. | ||
| They're great grillos pickles. | ||
| They're fucking the most delicious pickles on earth. | ||
| If I tell you it, it's because it's true to me. | ||
| I believe it 100%. | ||
| I've been wrong about shit before, trust me. | ||
| But I'll tell you that too. | ||
| If I'm wrong, I'll absolutely fucking tell you I'm wrong. | ||
| Alphabet I'm not wrong about. | ||
| The fucking dreams that you have, first of all, I would take it just for the dreams. | ||
| If you take it and then go to bed, you have the most intense graphic dreams. | ||
| They're intense. | ||
| And they're very lucid, man, and I don't know what it is, but it's not bad for you. | ||
| That's all you have to worry about. | ||
| It's all just nutrients. | ||
| There's nothing crazy in there. | ||
| There's no pharmaceutical drugs. | ||
| There's nothing that's addictive. | ||
| Can I tell you about a story about one of the dreams? | ||
| Yeah, please. | ||
| I gave some to my Russian housekeeper, and she took him, and she went back to Latvia in 1965 and spoke to her grandfather in the dream, the lucid dream. | ||
| She came back the next day, and she's like, Brian, what the fuck? | ||
| Yeah, lucid dreams are no joke. | ||
| They don't always happen though. | ||
| I've taken it before and had nothing. | ||
| I've had no dreams. | ||
| I don't understand the process behind it. | ||
| Unless in your dream it was so intense that you inside your dream found out a way to delete it so you won't remember it. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Yeah, well that's the mechanism behind dimethyltryptamine. | ||
| The mechanism behind dimethyltryptamine is the same mechanism behind dreams. | ||
| Which is really weird how, you know how you can wake up and you're like, fuck what a dream I had, man. | ||
| We were on roller skates and we were running from Godzilla and it was my cousin who I grew up with but I haven't seen him since I was 13. He's like, why didn't you call me? | ||
| And I felt fucking guilty. | ||
| Meanwhile, Godzilla's chasing us and you can remember it. | ||
| But then if I came up to you like a half an hour later and I said, tell me about that dream again. | ||
| You'd be like, what fucking dream was it again? | ||
| Shit, what happened? | ||
| Fuck! | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's like your brain erases it. | ||
| It's like, whatever it is, is based on something that the brain is already really good at getting rid of. | ||
| It's like the DMT that does that. | ||
| Yeah, DMT, which is a crazy psychedelic drug that your brain makes. | ||
| And it's also available in plant form. | ||
| But the idea is that when you're dreaming intense dreams, that what's going on is your brain is producing... | ||
| Dimethyltryptamine your brain is producing this hallucinogen and nobody really understands what it's about and some people actually believe that you know there's an old term called sleep on it you know if you have a you have something that's bothering you sleep on it maybe you come up with a good decision in the morning A lot of the reasons for that term is because you really do think about things that are troubling you while you're sleeping. | ||
| And if you are tripping, if that is what's happening when you're sleeping, if we're all growing through a DMT trip that is erased by the time we wake up, which is a distinct possibility considering the weirdness of dreams and what are they? | ||
| The ones that seem really real. | ||
| What are these? | ||
| These are obviously hallucinations, like really intense hallucinations. | ||
| But In a much more controlled form than, say, a DMT state. | ||
| Well, it could just be it's a low-level DMT experience. | ||
| There's certain Eastern religions which believe that the life we're living now is actually just the dream that your higher self is having, which I find very interesting. | ||
| It's just as likely as being alive. | ||
| Being alive is pretty fucking bizarre. | ||
| Being able to measure things through your fucking eyeballs and figure out where things are, all of that is weird as shit, man. | ||
| Being a human is weird as shit. | ||
| It is fucking crazy. | ||
| Dreams are weird. | ||
| It's weird that you shut off every night. | ||
| It's weird that for eight hours we just accept that we're gonna just disappear. | ||
| Normal and you look forward to it. | ||
| Everybody's scared to die. | ||
| No one's scared to take naps. | ||
| You just fucking shut right off. | ||
| I used to be scared to go to sleep as a kid. | ||
| I'd be like, oh shit, here it comes. | ||
| I don't know why Alpha Brain gives you dreams to continue with this, but it does. | ||
| It gives you crazy fucking dreams. | ||
| Shroom Tech Sport is another great product from Onnit. | ||
| It's my favorite product as far as athletic performance. | ||
| It's based on a Cordyceps mushroom. | ||
| Plenty of data out there if you're interested in Googling it. | ||
| The cordyceps mushroom is also the same mushroom that makes fucking ants, that makes them zombies and makes their heads explode. | ||
| Different strain of it. | ||
| Different strain, folks. | ||
| You don't have to worry about that. | ||
| Yeah, there's a branch of the cordyceps mushrooms that infects these ants. | ||
| Fascinating shit, man. | ||
| And it turns the ants into these zombie ants, and the other ants have to get the body. | ||
| When these things die and get them way the fuck away from the ant hill because they explode out spores which infect all these other ants. | ||
| What are you saying? | ||
| Eat your mushrooms. | ||
| I'm not saying that. | ||
| It's not the same thing. | ||
| Imagine if that's how we're doing it. | ||
| That's what Jan Urban would say. | ||
|
unidentified
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They're doing mind control in the form of mushrooms. | |
| Mushroom mind control. | ||
| It's not that, folks. | ||
| That's not what we're doing. | ||
| What if it was, man? | ||
| What if it is? | ||
| What if Aubrey was on it the whole time? | ||
| 29-year-old dude had it all figured out. | ||
| We're all going to have fucking fleshlights in the future, his hands. | ||
| Listen folks, don't listen to that guy. | ||
| He's crazy. | ||
| But we also have kettlebells, which are recently in, and battle ropes. | ||
| Everything we sell is the highest quality shit possible. | ||
| You can't get any better. | ||
| And we try to sell it to as cheap as possible and make the deal as easy as possible. | ||
| With all the nutritional supplements, there's a 100% money-back guarantee in the first 30 pills. | ||
| You don't have to send them back. | ||
| You just say, this stuff sucks. | ||
| That's because nobody wants to rip you off. | ||
| And we're only selling you the best shit. | ||
| And I guarantee you, if you start using it, you're going to appreciate the effects of it. | ||
| Or you're some fucking weirdo that can't eat peanuts. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know your deal, man. | ||
| Go to Onnit.com, use the code name ROGAN, and you'll save yourself 10% off the supplements. | ||
| And you will save nothing off battle ropes and kettlebells because them shits is expensive. | ||
| And don't use the codename London Real on this show. | ||
| Wait for our show. | ||
| Yeah, if you use the codename London Real, do you get something? | ||
| Do you get like 10% off? | ||
| Sweet! | ||
| Look at that bitch! | ||
| But then Joe offs us in the parking lot later. | ||
| Spreading! | ||
| Going off through the world! | ||
| It's a coupon code cock block! | ||
|
unidentified
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It is a coupon code cock block exercise right there. | |
| It would be if we were all on some sort of a percentage sales basis. | ||
| That's why you'd want to use the word Olive Garden at Onnit. | ||
| Shut the fuck up! | ||
| They charge you more! | ||
| They say that, son of a bitch! | ||
| Charge him double! | ||
|
unidentified
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Damn, we were told to Olive Garden before Brian did. | |
| 100% they charge you more. | ||
| Dude, can I get a coupon code that charges $10 more on your order, but it just donates to Death Squad? | ||
| That would be hilarious. | ||
| That is the other thing we're sponsored by. | ||
| Deathsquad.tv is Brian's site, where Brian makes these ridiculous cat t-shirts that I see at all my shows now. | ||
| Those are all his designs, and the money goes to Brian to support his Deathsquad podcast network. | ||
| And you're like, what the fuck is a Deathsquad? | ||
| It's a very vague and strange, strange topic. | ||
| And we got Kevin Pereira tomorrow. | ||
| Yes, Kevin Pereira, who's become a part of it. | ||
| Death Squad is just a nickname that was given to us a long, long time ago and now sort of branched out into Brian's podcast. | ||
| It's still like, it's a family. | ||
| That's what really Death Squad represents to all of us. | ||
| When we talk about if we put Death Squad under a post and it's Joey Diaz and Ari and Brian and Duncan are all on a show together, that's what we call Death Squad. | ||
| When you hear it's family. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's just like the Olive Garden. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ! | |
| It's like subliminal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The motherfucker, he entered into my mind with an Olive Garden commercial. | |
| Olive Garden, will you please pay this fuck? | ||
| Olive Garden, what do we have to do? | ||
| He's got them saying it. | ||
| Brody Stevens is recommending the Olive Garden on the fucking Chelsea Handler Show, you sons of bitches. | ||
| Get off your ass and sponsor this kid. | ||
| He's the number one Olive Garden supporter in the country, essentially. | ||
| I don't understand it, but I also don't understand that Just For Men commercial where the fucking baby has a beard and drives a car. | ||
| I don't understand that either. | ||
| There's a lot of shit I don't understand. | ||
|
unidentified
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What the fuck is that? | |
| Have you seen that commercial? | ||
| We'll talk about that. | ||
| Listen, folks. | ||
| We don't have that in London. | ||
| London Real is here. | ||
| Strap the fuck in. | ||
| We're fixing to get shit popping. | ||
| Desquad.tv for the t-shirts, stickers. | ||
| Represent Desquad all over the country. | ||
| You guys were there in North Carolina, and I saw you in Toronto. | ||
| All you fucking freaks. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Cue the music, son. | ||
| Joe Rogan Podcast. | ||
| Check it out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Joe Rogan Experience. | |
| Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. | ||
| Gentlemen, welcome, welcome. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| It's awesome to be here. | ||
| So good to have you guys here. | ||
| I saw you guys on YouTube a while back. | ||
| I don't remember what the... | ||
| I just say the gentlemen, Brian and Nick. | ||
| Who's Brian? | ||
| Who's Nick? | ||
| I'm Brian Rose. | ||
| Who's Brian? | ||
| Who's Nick? | ||
| Nick. | ||
| From London Real. | ||
| These guys are one of the coolest up-and-coming podcasts that I've had a chance to listen to. | ||
| And really, it's fucking right up our alley. | ||
| The stuff you guys talk about, the people that you have on. | ||
| You know, you had Jacques Vallée on. | ||
| You had Graham Hancock on. | ||
| Fresco, you mean. | ||
| Did I say? | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Which one is Jacques Vallée? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Fresco's the 96-year-old dude. | ||
| Fresco's the Venus Project guy. | ||
| Yeah, Venus Project guy, yeah. | ||
| Sorry, Mr. Jacques. | ||
| But you've had, you know, you had Graham Hancock on. | ||
| You guys have had some just right up our alley guests. | ||
| It's really, it's beautiful to see that there's more out there, that there's people that are doing this in London, you know, there's people that are doing this in Toronto. | ||
| I ran into a lot of people in Toronto that have podcasts now. | ||
| And it's essentially, it's all the same thing. | ||
| It's like, you know, you get together and you go, I would like to talk about some shit that I don't see talked about in the mainstream news. | ||
| Like, There's all this nonsense in the news about celebrities or about parts of the world that really don't even have anything to do with our day-to-day lives. | ||
| But there's all these other weird subjects that aren't getting covered. | ||
| There's so much fascinating things about it. | ||
| What's going on with these psychedelics? | ||
| What are they here for? | ||
| What's this all about? | ||
| Can this be a debate for intelligent people to sit down and talk? | ||
| Or does it immediately get derided and reduced to some silliness? | ||
| To some, oh yeah, were you going to take hallucinogens? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why don't you just fucking, why don't you get up in the morning and put a tie on like a gentleman? | ||
| I spoke to Hancock about that. | ||
| As soon as I mentioned ayahuasca or anything, everyone's eyes just glaze over and they're like, oh, you're one of those guys. | ||
| Yeah, they think you're a crazy person. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you want to talk about altered states of consciousness, you're a crazy person. | ||
| In California, too? | ||
| Yeah, well, it's a little better here. | ||
| It's a little better here. | ||
| This is the most progressive spot in the country, I think, as far as the ideas of... | ||
| I have a feeling about humans in America. | ||
| It's not that there's not amazing people on the East Coast. | ||
| There's amazing people all throughout the country. | ||
| But I think there's a prevailing attitude of the region. | ||
| People always talk about liberals in California. | ||
| Well, the reason why is because the East Coast is where all the people first landed. | ||
| That's where all the people from Europe were like, fuck Europe. | ||
| We're so done. | ||
| There's a new spot. | ||
| They can't fuck with you. | ||
| We're going to make our own laws. | ||
| And that got all crazy and cunty. | ||
| And people just decided to keep going. | ||
| And a lot of people kept going. | ||
| And they just kept going. | ||
| They eventually, on fucking horses with wooden wheels, got all the way to the other side. | ||
| And were like, fuck, we can't go any further. | ||
| Alright, let's stop. | ||
| People complain when the transatlantic flight is delayed by 30 minutes. | ||
| They don't remember what our ancestors went through, right? | ||
| Yeah, they had to eat each other, man. | ||
| They would eat each other in the mountains. | ||
| That's no joke, man. | ||
| It was a scary time for human beings. | ||
| And I think there was a lot of times where people would start out and not make it. | ||
| I think it's always a scary time for human beings, though, Joe. | ||
| I mean, this is the scary game we're all playing, right? | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's the same scary game we were playing when I was in high school. | ||
| When I was in high school, it was about the Soviets. | ||
| It was always... | ||
| You were talking about that recently. | ||
| People forget. | ||
| I mean, I used to go to sleep at night really worried about nuclear war. | ||
| How old are you? | ||
| I'm 41. Remember that movie The Day After? | ||
| It was on when I was like 10 or 12. | ||
| It was this whole television movie about basically a nuclear war and the end of it. | ||
| I mean, I stood up. | ||
| I was up for days scared about that. | ||
| I don't remember that one in particular, but I bet I saw it. | ||
| I've seen so many of them. | ||
| I've seen so many apocalyptic Mad Max type movies where for some reason, you know, I am legend type shit goes down. | ||
| Do you think America needs an enemy? | ||
| Like, do we need someone to kind of always be the bad guy? | ||
| Well, we're not real. | ||
| So when you say, does America need an enemy? | ||
| America's not even real. | ||
| It's just a bunch of humans. | ||
| And they decide to call it America and act as a group. | ||
| But it's pretty obvious at this point that that's not real. | ||
| It's us that's real. | ||
| It's humans. | ||
| And it might as well be you guys. | ||
| When you're here, you're Americans. | ||
| It's like, what is America? | ||
| It's just a fucking spot. | ||
| It's just a spot. | ||
| And the idea that this spot acts as one unit and we should all go along with what the spot's doing, that's fucking completely ridiculous. | ||
| Because we don't get a say. | ||
| And what they're doing is completely contrary to what most of the people in this country would want to get done. | ||
| So what we have is like a fake country. | ||
| And we have really a dictatorship that's run by money. | ||
| And it's just run with a loose grip. | ||
| It's not run with a dog collar around your neck so you constantly feel oppressed. | ||
| It's run with a loose grip of corruption. | ||
| It's a loose grip of corruption and entanglement where there's no way to get into the system. | ||
| Where a guy like Gary Johnson, who's the only one left running for president who makes any fucking sense, the libertarian candidate can't even get in on the debates because they won't treat him seriously. | ||
| Because the media is really fake. | ||
| The media is really bought and sold and it's a news program. | ||
| It's a news program where they pick and choose what aspects of the news, what angle of the news, instead of giving you all the information and anything that has anything to do with criticizing America or anything that shows America in a bad light. | ||
| It's all got to be reviewed before it's put on air. | ||
| So, you know, while I was watching you, while you were giving that speech, I just really felt that you really want people to wake up. | ||
| You really are trying to... | ||
| They should wake up, too. | ||
| They can't operate like this. | ||
| They don't have to. | ||
| The news doesn't have to operate like this. | ||
| The government doesn't have to operate like this. | ||
| The corporations don't have to operate like this. | ||
| No one's saying you can't do business. | ||
| What we're saying is business doesn't mean you have to fucking rob people. | ||
| Business doesn't mean you have to use lobbyists to influence policy so that you can pollute rivers. | ||
| Business doesn't mean that you can store nuclear waste in the middle of the fucking desert because you don't know how to get rid of it. | ||
| You're not supposed to do any of that stuff. | ||
| Until you know how to get rid of it, don't make it. | ||
| We really probably shouldn't even be on fucking nuclear power because we've had several major incidents over the past 100 years. | ||
| 100 years ain't shit when it comes to how long the fucking earth is and how long radioactive material lasts. | ||
| So if you're having nuclear, if they've put together these power plants that if something goes wrong, that spot is poison for 100,000 years. | ||
| You cannot live there anymore. | ||
| And then even after 100,000 years, who's going to be the first to fucking move back there? | ||
| If we've keeping any sort of accurate records whatsoever, who the fuck is going to be the first person to move back to where there was a nuclear disaster and power plants imploded? | ||
| No one's going to do that. | ||
| So that spot's ruined essentially for longer than humans have existed. | ||
| That's how long we've ruined Chernobyl. | ||
| That's how long we've ruined Fukushima. | ||
| We're ruining these spots. | ||
| And there's a lot of power plants, man. | ||
| Hundreds of them all over the place. | ||
| And they could all equal a spot where one day you can't go anywhere near them. | ||
| We're assuming we're going to be able to keep the power on. | ||
| Indefinitely and cool these fucking things off. | ||
| That's why they've built them. | ||
| Yeah, but it's in our human nature to only change your behavior when something really bad happens. | ||
| It's just the way it is, right? | ||
| Well, it's fascinating. | ||
| It's just an aspect of denial. | ||
| And that's how corporations work. | ||
| The reason why corporations are able to get away with the shit they do, bribe politicians, and influence literally war and murder, is because they act as a group that's just trying to get zeros and ones. | ||
| They're just trying to get money. | ||
| So they don't look at things in terms of their moral value. | ||
| They look at things in terms of, is this good for our stockholders? | ||
| Is this good for our business? | ||
| Can we make a profit here? | ||
| Can we get over there? | ||
| And when you have companies where you get a guy like Dick Cheney, who's the fucking head of a company called Halliburton, That fixes shit up after it gets blown up. | ||
| And then this guy becomes the vice president and just starts blowing shit up and then giving these contracts to the company that he used to run. | ||
| That is one of the craziest things that's ever happened in front of human beings. | ||
| It was essentially a jacking on television live, publicly, and government-sanctioned where they jacked a whole country and jacked the American people, too, and made us Give money to these corporations that would fix shit that we blow up. | ||
| And even build shit that's not necessary. | ||
| If you talk to people that are over there, they'll tell you that they just have a certain amount of money they're supposed to spend. | ||
| And they have a certain amount of projects. | ||
| They can build a desalinization plan. | ||
| The people are like, we don't fucking need this. | ||
| We're building it. | ||
| You need it, you want it, it doesn't matter. | ||
| We're building a desalinization plan because we got the contract for it. | ||
| And it's just billions of dollars is going over there. | ||
| Billions and billions. | ||
| Neil deGrasse Tyson had a speech where he was talking about that we have the capability now, we have the knowledge and the know-how to build a telescope that literally can go back and look at the beginnings of time. | ||
| Like, we can build a telescope that is just infinitely more powerful than anything that exists today. | ||
| It would cost about ten million dollars. | ||
| Ten billion dollars to, you know, it sounds like an incredible amount of money, until you find out how much money they spend in Iraq. | ||
| They spend ten billion dollars every few days. | ||
| It's just constant. | ||
| Our species must have a really negative karma because we have so much potential, but we just seem to channel it in the wrong direction. | ||
| Maybe it's not us. | ||
| Maybe it's just our karma that we're burning through. | ||
| We have to go through all this shit. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| It's not us. | ||
| Look, the business of running countries has not changed. | ||
| Although the access to information has changed radically, so the understanding of what a country really is has changed radically. | ||
| But the business of running countries has not changed. | ||
| The same thing that they did during the Roman Empire, they're doing today. | ||
| They're just doing it through a loose series of guidelines. | ||
| But it's really clear that they're robbing countries' resources, controlling people's militaries, attacking people mercilessly, We have fucking robots that we operate with remote control from the other side of the planet that shoot missiles from the sky that kill people. | ||
| Like that is bananas. | ||
| The fact that that's one of the major ways that we rocket in 2012 We literally send fucking Darth Vader spaceships that shoot rockets from the sky. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Joe, do you ever get concerned that you might face repercussions from the US government one way or another for the views you promote on your show? | ||
| Well, no. | ||
| Everything that I'm saying is all obvious. | ||
| It's all right out there in the open. | ||
| If you want to look at the Halliburton thing, it's not like that. | ||
| Fucking Rogan, he gave up the goods on Halliburton. | ||
| Everybody knows that Halliburton is a completely corrupt... | ||
| The relationship that Halliburton to the United States is completely corrupt. | ||
| Just by virtue of the fact that they got no big contracts. | ||
| These enormous, enormous contracts. | ||
| That's not the taxpayers being looked after. | ||
| That's not the government being frugal or being conservative with money. | ||
| That's a relationship between someone who influenced either directly with money or indirectly by getting their former CEO to run the country. | ||
| I think the idea of a corporation is a good thing. | ||
| I just think you need to regulate the fuck out of them. | ||
| They have to have a good mindset. | ||
| From just a limited liability corporate standpoint, you do believe that there's a reason for them. | ||
| Because otherwise, you couldn't invest in Onnit. | ||
| Otherwise, they might come and take your car away. | ||
| I believe in paying taxes. | ||
| I pay my taxes. | ||
| I never cheat on my taxes. | ||
| I pay a lot of money in taxes. | ||
| I believe in state taxes, too. | ||
| I pay state taxes in California. | ||
| I know a lot of people that move to Nevada strictly because they don't have to pay state taxes. | ||
| I don't mind paying for things. | ||
| I don't mind government. | ||
| I think it all can be done correctly, but it's all going to be done with love. | ||
| It can't be done with fear. | ||
| And it's all being done with fear. | ||
| The whole way the world is being done is being done with fear. | ||
| And everybody's like, fuck you, I'm going to nuke you. | ||
| If there were people, they would be the most ridiculous people ever. | ||
| If Iran and Israel were people, you'd want to kill the both of them. | ||
| You'd be like, will you two just shut the fuck up? | ||
| My God, you bickering cunts. | ||
| You next door neighbors who just, you're a fucking baby, you're a baby. | ||
| This one asshole has a cartoon bomb he's using in a UN speech to show, when it gets to here... | ||
| That's when we're in trouble! | ||
| It's a bomb showing Iran's nuclear capabilities. | ||
| Have you seen this? | ||
| Pull this up, Brian. | ||
| Netanyahu, that motherfucker. | ||
| That silly bitch. | ||
| Netanyahu, who's the prime minister of Israel, he's showing when we have to attack Iran. | ||
| He's got this nuclear bomb, and it's like, get to a certain point, and that's when you've got to attack. | ||
| They're insecure over there and they're like pawns in a little chess game that all the big powers are playing. | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| Netanyahu? | ||
| Netanyahu. | ||
| Netanyahu. | ||
| Netanyahu bomb cartoon. | ||
| I think we need some joint Israeli-Palestinian podcasts. | ||
| I think we just need them talking. | ||
| Shut them in a room together. | ||
| That's the conflict to end all conflicts. | ||
| That's the conflict that's been going on forever. | ||
| It's never going to end. | ||
| Look at that picture. | ||
| Is that the most ridiculous shit ever? | ||
| He's like, well, this is it. | ||
| When Aminijad said it's childish, and I agree with Aminijad. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| The dude who fucking says there's no Iranian gays. | ||
| He doesn't believe in gay marriage. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who knows what Aminijad really said. | |
| Is he a Holocaust denier? | ||
| Aminijad is, yeah. | ||
| Meanwhile, I believe in him when his taste in cartoons is excellent. | ||
| At least you're honest. | ||
| It seems like, you know, if corporations and governments all sort of have this diffusion of responsibility, and even though we're in America, all the things that go on that we don't agree with, like drone attacks and all this shit, you know, it becomes a matter of how much of an impact does that have on the whole rest of the population? | ||
| And if it only has a minor impact on the rest of the population, a lot of times you can get away with it. | ||
| And that's the situation that we're in right now. | ||
| We know that in order to change things, it would require a major overhaul. | ||
| And it would be really difficult for a lot of people. | ||
| I mean, the government is comprised of a huge amount of human beings. | ||
| There's a lot of people that essentially are completely unnecessary if we had a real just and true government. | ||
| They're really not necessary. | ||
| I don't really believe in the conspiracies. | ||
| I think it's just people have these positions where they have these great jobs and they're collecting money as a contractor, Halliburton. | ||
| And why change things? | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of that. | ||
| But there's also conspiring. | ||
| We know they conspired with Enron and essentially Halliburton was allowed to conspire. | ||
| Halliburton's a clear conspiracy. | ||
| But we also know a lot about government conspiracy from the past that's not just like ideas and thoughts, but stuff that actually has been proven to have happened. | ||
| Like the Gulf of Tonkin, the idea that they got us into a war in Vietnam with like a fake story. | ||
| The Operation Northwoods, Operation Dirty Trick, which is where they were going to blow... | ||
| John Glenn was going to be the first person into orbit. | ||
| And if anything happened to his space shuttle, his rocket... | ||
| They were going to blame it on the Cubans. | ||
| We were going to blow up some fucking... | ||
| It was a reason to attack Cuba. | ||
| We were like, look, it's a win-win. | ||
| If John Glenn makes it, he's the first guy in space. | ||
| If it doesn't make it, we blame it on the Cubans. | ||
| We go fuck them up. | ||
| And that was the plan. | ||
| This is not a conspiracy. | ||
| This is written documents. | ||
| Do you think the government needs some secrecy? | ||
| Otherwise, there's no diplomacy? | ||
| No. | ||
| There shouldn't be diplomacy. | ||
| Obama can't announce the night before he's going to go in and... | ||
| No, of course. | ||
| First of all, I don't believe they did assassinate Bin Laden. | ||
| No. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think that dude's been dead for years. | |
| I've talked to people... | ||
| If I had to say, I'd probably say that more than anything else, that Joe is fishy. | ||
| I've talked to dudes who are in special forces type jobs and they're like, that guy's been dead forever. | ||
| They're like, I don't know what the fuck happened. | ||
| And dudes were laughing about it. | ||
| Just didn't sound right, that story. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Didn't sound right to anybody in any other country either. | ||
| Did you hear about that guy that wrote that book that's like a national bestseller that he was one of the guys? | ||
| Yeah, he was one of the guys. | ||
| His story differs from the government version of it. | ||
| Yeah, he said it was really weird. | ||
| His beard was completely black when they came in and there was no gray hairs and stuff. | ||
| Would he be really just fermenting his beard? | ||
| Well, he might. | ||
| Brendan Walsh does. | ||
| I think it looks sexy as fuck on Brendan. | ||
| I would support it. | ||
| Yeah, why not? | ||
| You do it, you don't do it. | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| I don't think... | ||
| The whole reason why that guy existed is because we do... | ||
| The only way a guy like Osama Bin Laden or any of these radical guys ever exists is there's got to be some great empire to oppose. | ||
| And it's not a great empire of altruism that's trying to help people all over the world and trying to enhance the lives of people and clean up their areas and make money in helping countries instead of making money and just robbing their resources and then taking out their military and taking out their government. | ||
| All empires collapse though, Joe. | ||
| It will collapse sooner or later. | ||
| Yeah, that's the problem. | ||
| We don't have to have an empire. | ||
| See, that's the problem. | ||
| All empires do collapse because they're run by cunts. | ||
| You can't run an empire and not be a cunt. | ||
| What we need is civilization. | ||
| We don't need an empire anymore. | ||
| All these organizations, they're not necessary. | ||
| What we need to figure out is how natural resources can be distributed equally to all nations. | ||
| That sounds fucked up, but that reality is, otherwise, everyone's just going to go where the resources are. | ||
| Brian, I argue about this a lot. | ||
| I'd like to believe that that's the case, that we can have a fair society, but I think, Brian, you believe that human nature is never going to happen, right? | ||
| I mean I have a lot of thoughts about human nature. | ||
| I think humans are inherently lazy and if we had like a socialist system a lot of people wouldn't do anything. | ||
| So I think capitalism does motivate people to a certain extent. | ||
| Of course it can go a little too far. | ||
| It certainly can. | ||
| Especially when these corporations start acting in their own interests and they become really big. | ||
| And so it certainly is a great motivating factor. | ||
| I believe you should be rewarded for your efforts. | ||
| I mean I believe that in many of the ideas that go behind capitalism, where I think we fuck up is with shit like the stock market. | ||
| Things that can be manipulated, where you can gamble on people. | ||
| I've got to talk to you about derivatives. | ||
| I've got to drop some signs. | ||
| Please explain. | ||
| I actually spent some time in Boston. | ||
| I spent four years at MIT. I think around the same time you were there. | ||
| I don't know if I went to many comedy clubs when I was there. | ||
| That's a fucking awesome town if it wasn't so cold. | ||
| Especially Cambridge. | ||
| What a great place. | ||
| We were right across from the Necco wafer factory on 233 Mass. | ||
| So you understand derivatives? | ||
| I got a mechanical engineering degree, but I went straight to Wall Street afterwards and worked in banking. | ||
| And then for the last 10 years, I worked in London in the credit derivative industry. | ||
| The worst of all derivatives. | ||
| So what is it? | ||
| It's your gambling that things are going to fail, right? | ||
| I was thinking about how I could talk about this, and I hear you talk about it all the time, so I figure out my book. | ||
| Is it frustrating? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like this retard fucking nonsense is he saying. | |
| It's like, I have friends that will talk about jiu-jitsu. | ||
| You know, like, oh, Hoist Gracie, what do you do? | ||
| Just reach over and grab their neck. | ||
| I'm like, no, he didn't. | ||
| It could be worse. | ||
| You could have friends that talk about kung fu, right, and tell them how effective it is. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| I had a guy, in fact, this is the worst shout out I could ever give anyone, but he said to me, and he popped up in the chat one, he was like, try to talk to Joe about Kung Fu, because I think he has some negative ideas. | ||
| I was like, look, dude, I don't really believe in Kung Fu myself, so it's going to be tough for me to convince him. | ||
| Well, you know, it's not that Kung Fu doesn't work. | ||
| It's just, it's definitely not the best way to go. | ||
| It's that simple. | ||
| There's a lot of stuff that works. | ||
| You know, if you backfist someone in the face, I mean, it's not going to feel good. | ||
| It's not going to feel good to get backfisted in the face. | ||
| But it's not as good as you fucking overhand right somebody. | ||
| It's just not. | ||
| I think a better qualifier is it's not that it doesn't work. | ||
| It's just it doesn't work on the right people. | ||
| You know, you could probably knock out an 86-year-old grandmother with the white crane dancing tiger technique. | ||
| Try it on an MMA fighter, it's not going to happen. | ||
| Well, it's also the way they practice it, the way a lot of people are practicing it, I'm like, oh my god, you're being silly. | ||
| It's like you're throwing a punch, and then you're pretending that if you threw that punch, what I would do is I would step right here, and then I would attack your organs like this with a claw motion. | ||
| Like, come on, you're not going to do that. | ||
| That guy's going to punch you again and again and again. | ||
| He's going to kick you in the dick. | ||
| It's going to be a lot of shit happening. | ||
| You're not going to have time to get off that claw to the liver. | ||
| We just had Roger Gracie in the studio on Friday, and he was talking about, we were rubbishing off Kung Fu and Karate, something bad, we're gonna get some hate, but he was talking about the kata, and how if you get good at the kata, you get your belt, and he was like, but in Jiu Jitsu, you spar, and you have to test, you can put a choke on someone, but what about if he doesn't want you to put it on? | ||
| And he just was kind of breaking down some of the core differences. | ||
| Yeah, there's a big difference. | ||
| I have a black belt in Taekwondo as well, and in Taekwondo there was guys that were black belts that weren't that good. | ||
| They just weren't that good. | ||
| They had been around a long time, they'd take their forms, and they did okay in sparring, but the reality is they weren't really black belts. | ||
| They never reached that expert level. | ||
| Like, they could get mugged. | ||
| Someone could kick their ass. | ||
| Like, they really weren't adept at fighting. | ||
| Do you know what I find is very interesting, Joe, which you might appreciate is if you look at some of those more ridiculous martial arts, you see a guy who's like 45 or 50. If you see a jiu-jitsu guy at that age, he's tough. | ||
| He still rolls. | ||
| He's in shape. | ||
| But you see one of these guys and without fail, every single 45-year-old plus Traditional martial artist is the guy who's got like a slouch and a beer belly and you can see he hasn't done a push-up for like 15 years, you know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah, those like uchiru guys. | ||
| And the weirdest thing is they want to be called by some weird title as well. | ||
| You said it was in the face. | ||
| You pulled up like some Facebook the other day and you saw a guy with a black belt and you're like, look at his face. | ||
| It's not a jiu-jitsu black belt. | ||
| Because he didn't have the lines on his face from all those hard days of rolling. | ||
| Because he doesn't test himself. | ||
| He just hides behind. | ||
| He gets his belt or he gets his certificate and he says, okay, that's me. | ||
| I'm this grandmaster. | ||
| And then all the little students bow to him because they think he's got mystical powers. | ||
| But at the end of the day, he's not progressing. | ||
| He's not progressing in his art. | ||
| It just makes my blood boil, man. | ||
| For those who don't know it, Nick is a jujitsu black belt. | ||
| Yeah, that's what jujitsu is all about, exposing reality. | ||
| And there's a lot of martial arts that are about putting on a show. | ||
| It's really kind of completely contrary to jujitsu. | ||
| Taekwondo had a big impact on me as a child because in doing something that was difficult in Taekwondo, it was like the first character-forming thing that I did as a person. | ||
| But there's a lot of cult aspects to it. | ||
| You know, the bowing and calling the instructor sir and always bowing to them. | ||
| None of that shit's in jiu-jitsu. | ||
| The respect is all real, legitimate, natural, friendly respect. | ||
| Like John Jacques Machado. | ||
| I have a black brother named John Jacques as well. | ||
| John Jock is not just a great jiu-jitsu coach. | ||
| He's like everyone's friend. | ||
| He's a really nice guy. | ||
| So he's very informal. | ||
| But no one ever disrespects him or no one ever takes advantage of that friendliness and thinks that they would be a better fighter than him or they can kick his ass sparring or something like that. | ||
| But karate guys will always have to put on... | ||
| I don't want to say always, because a lot of them... | ||
| It's done correctly, and it is a discipline, and it's all about maintaining the mindset of the Zen martial arts practitioner. | ||
| There's a lot of people that are legit about it. | ||
| But there's also a lot of people that just want to put up a fucking... | ||
| Dog and pony show so that you don't challenge them and test them and then they develop a fucking god. | ||
| Joe, I got a great story for you. | ||
| We'll get back to derivatives. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don't worry. | |
| I won't leave without that. | ||
| When I first started grappling in Cape Town, just after the first UFC and I was just starting to Ooh! | ||
| Ooh! | ||
| What is that, by the way? | ||
| What is ninjutsu? | ||
| It's what I wanted to learn. | ||
| When I was a kid, I looked at martial arts magazines. | ||
| I was trying to pick out martial arts to learn before I practiced anything. | ||
| I was like, I'd be pretty good to be a ninja. | ||
| Ninjas are cool. | ||
| But I needed something where you could get a black belt. | ||
| That's one of the reasons I went with karate first. | ||
| I wanted to get a black belt. | ||
| You don't even know who's the best one. | ||
| They all dress the same. | ||
| I need a belt, man. | ||
| So they get to this ninjutsu school and they say to the guy, you know, we'd like to spar with you. | ||
| We'd like to see your system and what you can do. | ||
| So he said you will wait until after the class and so they were like okay this they stuck on watch them walk on their hands whatever it is you do in jiu-jitsu class and Then at the end of the class the instructor said he said students we have a challenger and What he did is he took out a blindfold he walked to the center of the mat and he knelt down crossed his arm or put the blindfold and crossed his arms and Then said to my buddy. | ||
| He said attack me Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| I couldn't make this up. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| He might be crazy. | ||
| Did you just punt him in the face? | ||
| Well, my buddy looked around the room looking for a camera. | ||
| He was like, this has got to be some kind of joke. | ||
| And then he just kind of ran around to the back of him and put on a rear naked choke. | ||
| And this guy squealed and didn't know what was going on. | ||
| And eventually, the guy let him go. | ||
| And that was the end of ninjitsu for our training, I guess. | ||
| Well, he was really nice about it, because he could have just punted him in the face. | ||
| It's nice that he... | ||
| Like a pride kick in the face. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, fucking Shogun style. | ||
| 2004. No, instead he decided to choke him. | ||
| That's a very nice guy, because he could have just run up and just kneed the fuck out of his face. | ||
| Or woe-sham-bowed him, right? | ||
| Yeah, he's a silly bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are you doing? | |
| Attack me? | ||
| Oh my god, you're crazy! | ||
| There's a lot of dudes who got mad at me online, a lot of these black dudes that do kung fu in New York. | ||
| Because there's like a whole culture. | ||
| Like from the Warriors, that kind of kung fu? | ||
| Remember those guys? | ||
| Most of it's fake kung fu. | ||
| When I say fake kung fu, it's like a lot of they're doing, they're making shit up. | ||
| Like, what if you did like this? | ||
| Oh man, you can't do like that. | ||
| Look at how much you got exposed. | ||
| Like this area, I'm attacking your knee here, son. | ||
| Like you got problems here. | ||
| You know, I got a tiger claw to the side of your neck. | ||
| Your whole side of your neck is wide open. | ||
| Like, they talk completely... | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is entertaining stuff. | |
| Oh, I like watching. | ||
| I laugh my ass off at them. | ||
| Look, these guys want to believe that they're real martial artists and they're really mad at me. | ||
| And the guy was like, come on, son. | ||
| You tell me if I hit you in the face with a monkey paw, that wouldn't hurt? | ||
| Yeah, if I let you hit me in the face with a monkey paw, it would probably hurt. | ||
| That's not what I'm saying here. | ||
| What I'm saying is you're practicing some nonsense, kid. | ||
| But we all have aspects of our life in which we're deluding ourselves. | ||
| We just probably can't identify them. | ||
| For them, it's martial arts. | ||
| For us, it may be our relationships or whatever. | ||
| Yeah, people love to delude themselves. | ||
| It's way easier than facing the insignificance of your reality in this crazy picture of the whole universe. | ||
| Yeah, it's a protection mechanism for the brain, right? | ||
| What the ego's there for, to give you a reason to stay alive until you can get enlightened enough that you no longer need the ego to appreciate this existence. | ||
| But the ego is there to keep you alive. | ||
| You're super special when you're a fucking 10-year-old. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| That makes so much sense. | ||
| It's an engine to push you forward. | ||
| And then from there, it's all about getting enlightened to the point where you no longer need the ego to enjoy the existence. | ||
| But that doesn't happen in the West. | ||
| Yeah, it does. | ||
| It happens. | ||
| You can do it. | ||
| I did it. | ||
| I mean, I'm not perfect, but I'm certainly way more evolved than I was when I was a younger person. | ||
| Was that through training or through psychedelics or what? | ||
| Both. | ||
| All of the above. | ||
| Jiu-Jitsu for sure helped. | ||
| I've been doing Jiu-Jitsu since 96, and I think just getting constantly fucking strangled and going at it until your heart's going to explode in your chest and you're trying not to tap. | ||
| But you've got to realize you've got to tap and then you've got to go again because there's still four minutes left in the round. | ||
| And you're going at it. | ||
| And you develop these intense relationships with people because you understand their character. | ||
| You see dudes that break. | ||
| You see dudes that will never break. | ||
| You know guys that are so tough to tap. | ||
| And you know guys that are a monster out of the gate but then they run out of gas. | ||
| That's me. | ||
| It's so different. | ||
| Even one level up is like I'm a Jiu Jitsu instructor and then I don't know if all Jiu-Jitsu instructors have it. | ||
| I'd love to hear from some of the others. | ||
| But when all your students are watching and there's that young, tough 20-year-old kid and he's like the tough proper belt and you're tired and you've got to carry an injury or something, you know you've got to put it on the line. | ||
| These fuckers aren't going to respect you anymore. | ||
| It's really tough. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| It's difficult. | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| The reality is, there's a lot of instructors out there with Marcelo Garcia comes to their school, they're going to get tapped. | ||
| So they have to figure out what to do here. | ||
| Do I just let everybody know, yeah, Marcelo can tap me, and this is how, watch me get treated like a baby. | ||
| I mean, a lot of people have a real issue with that. | ||
| And then there's a lot of dudes that say, you know, okay, now I'm an instructor. | ||
| Like, I have to make sure I'm lifting weights. | ||
| You know, I have to be bigger and stronger. | ||
| Like, Eddie Bravo talks about that. | ||
| Like, he fights for his life when he's in those classes. | ||
| Because Eddie's... | ||
| At such a high level right now, especially his guard. | ||
| His guard is fucking so nasty. | ||
| I've rolled with a lot of dudes, but he's one of the few guys, him and Denny, they're one of the few guys that consistently catch me from their guard. | ||
| From the guard. | ||
| Yeah, it's fucking hard to catch someone from the guard. | ||
| Joe, man, I gotta roll with you. | ||
| Yeah, we gotta roll. | ||
| Seriously, dude. | ||
| Okay, maybe Thursday. | ||
| Okay, cool. | ||
| But, yeah, come to 10th Planet. | ||
| Yeah, I will. | ||
| I'd love to have you guys. | ||
| I think that when you do that on a regular basis and you tap, You tap people. | ||
| You get tapped. | ||
| You strain. | ||
| You blow through all the energy that you have in an endeavor. | ||
| Especially one that's so primal. | ||
| Jiu-jitsu is so life and death. | ||
| Even though you can do it and no one gets hurt. | ||
| It's the craziest thing, man. | ||
| I have this theory that jiu-jitsu... | ||
| I reckon you would know more about someone after a 10-minute jiu-jitsu match than a 10-minute conversation. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck yeah. | |
| 10-hour conversation, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You see that character come through. | ||
| Maybe 10 fucking years. | ||
| You know, there's certain dudes where you tap them once and then they're done. | ||
| You own them. | ||
| You can just run right through them. | ||
| You know, even if they're not tired, they just start giving stuff up. | ||
| You know, you see it. | ||
| You see, like... | ||
| And you're like, come on, man. | ||
| Put your arm back. | ||
| You know, put your arm... | ||
| Tuck yourself. | ||
| You got to protect yourself. | ||
| Just get that leg, that leg, and you'll start walking through it. | ||
| You don't want them to break. | ||
| You want them to, like... | ||
| to build up and you know you want to like offer legitimate resistance and that's what sparring supposed to be about. | ||
| That happened to me in Brazil I went down as a white belt and I was training in Gracie Baja and like all week I was getting my ass tapped out as a white belt and then Friday was no gi day and I showed up obviously with no belt And I started rolling with this one dude, and I tapped him like six times. | ||
| And I think he just didn't know who I was. | ||
| And after that first tap, it was over. | ||
| Yeah, it can happen. | ||
| And then there's dudes that are like, I remember this guy, man. | ||
| This guy who just started doing jiu-jitsu. | ||
| He was this crazy Armenian dude. | ||
| I mean, he had just started. | ||
| He was just learning techniques. | ||
| And he would spar with anybody. | ||
| And this fucking guy just would not tap. | ||
| He would fight to the death. | ||
| And watching him roll with people, I'm like, check this motherfucker out. | ||
| Like, you would think he was done. | ||
| And he would just, ah, just fucking struggling. | ||
| And he wasn't strong. | ||
| And he wasn't big. | ||
| He was just fucking proud as shit. | ||
| And bound and determined not to tap. | ||
| Not necessarily the best way to go about it. | ||
| No. | ||
| He had to get over that. | ||
| But you gave him some respect. | ||
| Oh, fuck yeah! | ||
| Well, I remember watching him because it was one of his first classes. | ||
| And, you know, it's fascinating to me watching people just start jiu-jitsu. | ||
| You know what, Joe? | ||
| The jiu-jitsu guys, we're the modern-day Jedi Knights. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, like Hickson would be like the Yoda equivalent. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| It's kind of cool when you think about it that way. | ||
| We are people who take ourselves to the limit. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| And... | ||
| That's why there's such a camaraderie between jiu-jitsu guys. | ||
| You know so much about a jiu-jitsu guy when you shake his hand. | ||
| Yeah, I think you have to have... | ||
| I always talk about how well jiu-jitsu guys have control of their ego. | ||
| It's very rare you run into a jiu-jitsu guy who's completely out of control. | ||
| So many of our early guests were actually jiu-jitsu guys because it was who we knew for London Real. | ||
| We must have had eight of them. | ||
| They were all just these cool, grounded... | ||
| Pretty humble dudes, still smart, still excelling in their field, but they were just, I don't know, they get checked on a regular basis? | ||
| That's what it is, man. | ||
| It's getting checked on a regular basis. | ||
| It's huge. | ||
| It's so important. | ||
| It's what I said about the ego. | ||
| Your ego, it leads you to victory. | ||
| It leads you to want the glory and the accolades. | ||
| But ultimately, it fucks you. | ||
| If you fight with your ego, everybody knows that, you'll lose your composure. | ||
| You'll get crazy, especially if you start getting tagged. | ||
| Instead of fighting smart, you'll just fucking flail back. | ||
| You'll try to attack back. | ||
| Which is oftentimes the total wrong approach. | ||
| Like, you have to do the right thing technically. | ||
| So you have to, if you're going to do the right thing technically, you have to be in complete control of your ego. | ||
| You can't even let that factor into the process. | ||
| You have to look at it as a game. | ||
| You can sense that, I mean, his presence, he is, we interviewed him on our show the other day, and one of the things I brought up was, I've known him for almost 10 years, and Joe, I swear to God, I've never seen him lose his cool. | ||
| He is the most zen person on the planet, or the most zen person I know. | ||
| It goes hand in hand with good jujitsu. | ||
| I notice the calmer I'm getting as a human being, maybe it's got to do with aging or meditation, the better my jujitsu is, the more I'm in touch with reality when I'm sparring with someone. | ||
| I find that interesting. | ||
| I do as well. | ||
| I think jujitsu is an excellent part of daily life for a man especially. | ||
| I think it's just one aspect. | ||
| Others are nutrition, philosophy, thought, conversation, conversation with others. | ||
| I know this podcast for sure. | ||
| People talk about how much this podcast has helped them. | ||
| Well, it's helped me, too, because it's helped me really review a lot of the ideas that I have in my head and my take on things. | ||
| And really, in projecting it out to other people, or broadcasting it out to people, you also are forced to sort of take a real account of all your thoughts. | ||
| And it's sort of like teaching jiu-jitsu makes your game better. | ||
| You learn by teaching. | ||
| Yeah, if you teach jiu-jitsu, man... | ||
| You've got to empathize, right? | ||
| Yeah, my friend Brent, a perfect example, was always like a decent purple belt. | ||
| But he wasn't like the best guy, and Man, he started fucking teaching. | ||
| He's a black belt now, but he started teaching, and when he was teaching, it's like, within a year, his game went up so many notches. | ||
| Like, all of a sudden, he was dangerous as fuck. | ||
| All of a sudden, every time you rolled with him, he was snatching camors, and you're like, oh, this is like, he's doing this perfect. | ||
| Like, he had the tech, his technique became so sharp from teaching. | ||
| Do you know why that is? | ||
| I actually found out the other day, because I noticed that as well. | ||
| When I started teaching full-time, I got quite a lot better, and we have, I don't know if I'm using the correct term, but there's a specific kind of neuron in our brain That fires when we see someone doing something it's I think it's called an empathy neuron and so when you're a teacher you watch your students and I don't know about your process when you teach them but for me I watch what they do and I kind of in my mind I overlay what it should look like there's like a mental video overlay and then eventually I'll show them what to do and they'll do it correctly and it's kind of like me doing the technique again does that make sense yes yeah so | ||
| I guess that's what's happening when you watch someone else doing something or if you just involved in the process that's where you can get better watching fight videos Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| And having knowledge of what to do already in your head, like having especially patterns. | ||
| Like the other day, I was rolling, and I had this guy in side control, and he tried to get up to one knee. | ||
| And as he tried to get up to one knee, I took his back, and it was all in one second. | ||
| The whole thing was like... | ||
| You know, it all just like, you know, it happens like you couldn't think, even if you were like an athletic person, you wouldn't be able to do it like that. | ||
| Because you know what's happening is your mind is being bypassed. | ||
| My first coach always said to me, he used to say, your body knows what to do, but your mind gets in the way. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And when that happens for me, it's the most beautiful moment. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| It's crazy, dude. | ||
| Because it happens and it really is like magic. | ||
| It's like all of a sudden you got this dude's back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoosh! | |
| You know, it's like, and especially if you freak a guy out, like if you get, he's like, holy shit, how'd this guy get my back like that? | ||
| Like, Marcelo's my favorite example of that. | ||
| When you watch, like, Marcelo's arm drag to back, there's a moment where these guys can't even believe this motherfucker got to, their back so quick! | ||
| Like, how did he do that? | ||
| You know, my buddy, my friend Alexis, he's a high-level blackball. | ||
| Now, this is one of those guys, he's a little bit, A little bit skinny, but he's reasonably athletic, but he's not like an Olympian. | ||
| So he's quite a fragile guy. | ||
| He's light. | ||
| He's like 150, 160 pounds. | ||
| And he is so goddamn technical. | ||
| He is literally like a surgeon wielding a scalpel. | ||
| And he told me he went to train with Marcelo and he said to me, Nick, I swear to God, it felt like that man was reading my mind. | ||
| Every move I did, he knew if I wanted to put my hand down to get my balance, because he'd off-balance me, he'd grab my hand. | ||
| And then he'd know I'd reach the counter with the other hand and he'd already have something queued up. | ||
| He said it was like reading my mind. | ||
| You rolled with him? | ||
| No, I've never rolled with him. | ||
| So, I mean, just think, like, for a high-level black belt to say that about Marcelo, isn't that exciting? | ||
| We could all one day get... | ||
| Perhaps close to that level? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The best guys I roll with are Jean-Jacques Machado. | ||
| I roll with him pretty regularly. | ||
| I've rolled with Eddie Bravo a bunch of times, of course. | ||
| And Denny. | ||
| Denny Propagos is one of Eddie's black belts. | ||
| He's got a nasty guard. | ||
| And he's a small dude. | ||
| He's only about 160 pounds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Still. | |
| Yeah, and he still can tap me from the guard regularly. | ||
| He's wicked. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot. | ||
| Eddie's got a lot of guys that just have stupid guards. | ||
| Shigeki's another one, this dude. | ||
| And he's, you know, 135 pounds. | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| Are you a ground player? | ||
| Are you a ground player or a passer? | ||
| What's your style? | ||
| I've changed much more over the years and tried to be much more guard oriented and half guard oriented and earn top position, you know, because most of my game, most of my submissions were from the top and I realized that's unrealistic. | ||
| Roger's dad, Maurizio, I mean he's a red and white, red and black belt, so I mean this guy's legit. | ||
| And he said to me, I said when I was quite a bit younger, I said, like, man, you know, Maurizio, I thought about it, like, I don't want to play on my back because if I'm on my back, I'm just trying to get to the top anyway, so why don't I just go straight to the top? | ||
| And he said, you know, Nick, when you get older, you'll see you'll need your guard, bro. | ||
| You'll need it because there's much more energy conservation when you're on your back. | ||
| I didn't think about it, but the older I get, I kind of see that. | ||
| I know what he was talking about. | ||
| I like to earn it. | ||
| That's what Eddie always says. | ||
| If you're going to attack someone from the top, you should earn that position. | ||
| So I always start off from guard. | ||
| How often are you in 10th planet? | ||
| Well, I've been injured for five months. | ||
| I fucked my back up, and what I tried to do was... | ||
| I tried to just lightly roll like an asshole. | ||
| Even though I knew it was injured, I was like, I just roll with light guys and don't go hard. | ||
| And then I fucked it up way worse. | ||
| And the one day where I tried to roll light set me back three months. | ||
| Then I came back and I only trained for a couple days and I popped it out again. | ||
| But it was much more mild this time. | ||
| It was just a bad muscle tear. | ||
| And it's in my back. | ||
| It's... | ||
| Where you're, like, in between your shoulder blades. | ||
| Like, that's where I tore the muscles. | ||
| It was really weird. | ||
| It was a jiu-jitsu thing. | ||
| Are you going to be rolling until you're, like, 65, do you think? | ||
| Or later? | ||
| Are you going to be, like, Elio Gracie? | ||
| Until the wheels fall off. | ||
| I'm rolling until the wheels fall off. | ||
| I mean, I've got to say it was nice during the five months that I was off where I wasn't always tweaked. | ||
| It was always, like, my elbow. | ||
| I should have tapped from that. | ||
| I muscled out of it. | ||
| Or my neck got tweaked. | ||
| It's always something. | ||
| I don't know about you, but... | ||
| For me, and I'm sure for a few other Jiu Jitsu guys, when you get to the end of a hard week of training and you're just fucked. | ||
| Everything hurts and you've got that bone tiredness. | ||
| I used to fight against it, but now I kind of get off on that. | ||
| I feel like in my body I'm alive. | ||
| Do you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Well, you also feel like you've earned relaxation. | ||
| You've actually done something incredibly difficult. | ||
| Like, I had a great role last night, and I came home. | ||
| This is my third time back from the injury, and I'm like, I'm finally, like, pretty sure that it's... | ||
| If it's not 100%, it's definitely 90%, so I'm feeling great. | ||
| And I was just fucking exhausted. | ||
| And I just plopped out on the couch and watched TV. But I didn't feel guilty at all about watching TV. You know, it's like I did something... | ||
| I put forth some serious effort. | ||
| I don't feel like I can enjoy bullshit, like fucking off, like watching TV or something, unless I've done something hard. | ||
| I feel like you should reward yourself with bullshit, but it's all a matter of managing it. | ||
| You know, it's like, I like to watch TV or watch a movie after I've written for a few hours, you know? | ||
| Or I just like, okay, I did my work. | ||
| I can just shut off now. | ||
| Man, I can't do it, Joe. | ||
| You know, I was just telling Brian the other day, I sold my PlayStation and my TV. I realized I don't want it in my house anymore, man. | ||
| You know, it sounds a bit strange, but I always feel kind of empty after watching TV or, and it's not porn, or playing video games. | ||
| I don't feel like I've grown as a person. | ||
| I feel like I'm just like a vegetable, you know, and I'm happy to have it out the house. | ||
| Well, there's a very different feeling that I get from playing video games than I get from doing other things that are difficult, like pool. | ||
| I play pool, which is also a lot of people would say is a waste of time. | ||
| You know, like they always say that if someone is good at pool, it's a glorious result of a misspent youth. | ||
| You know, that's what people describe like a really good pool player. | ||
| But I feel that pool in a lot of ways is a lot like jujitsu because it's a lot about managing your nerves. | ||
| It's a lot about control of your body. | ||
| It's a lot about concentration. | ||
| It's not as fast-paced, but it's pretty intense when you play high-level pool. | ||
| So to me, it's not just a game. | ||
| It's also there's a lot of exercise going on there. | ||
| There's a lot of exercise of control and composure. | ||
| And in striking the ball, in judging how hard to hit it, You literally are judging how much energy you release. | ||
| You're controlling the effort. | ||
| And it's very important because you can't hit everything full blast. | ||
| It's not like boxing where you're trying to knock somebody out in the first round. | ||
| You can just get away with all power punches. | ||
| You have to have a real good sense. | ||
| Of how lightly or how hard you need to hit that ball and you need to be able to control that ball with a level stick so you need to figure out how to drive through it level as you're coming down. | ||
| There's a lot of thinking and weirdness going on. | ||
| If you look at it like from a big picture perspective there's a philosopher called Alan Watts and he says I think he was around in the 60s or the 70s and he was saying how you'll get these wealthy people who they'll buy a huge boat and then they wonder why it doesn't make them happy and it's because Yeah. | ||
| I'm not trying too hard to get better, I'm just enjoying my skill, I'm getting pleasure from it. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Yeah, like when you have a good role, like say you get in there with a good purple belt or something like that, someone who's real scrappy and you go at it and you're countering each other and you attack and countering each other and then you finally catch a dude with something, it's like, man, you earned that shit, you know? | ||
| There's something beautiful about pulling off a technique on an unwilling participant, you know, where you've figured out a way to bypass his defenses, and you get in, and it's And it's a fascinating game of intellect, and that's what people don't understand. | ||
| It's not just a physical thing. | ||
| There's certainly physical aspects to it, especially I feel them now because I'm just getting back into jiu-jitsu shape. | ||
| Because even if you work out, it's not the same. | ||
| The only thing that comes close is kettlebells. | ||
| There's especially a kettlebell workout called Extreme Kettlebell Cardio Workout. | ||
| This company called Dragon Door sells it, and this motherfucker puts you through hell. | ||
| I mean, it's a light kettlebell, too. | ||
| He does it with a 35-pound kettlebell. | ||
| And I would have never believed that someone could give me a good workout with a little pussy-ass 35-pound weight. | ||
| I'm like, bitch! | ||
| Like, where's the 70s, son? | ||
| Let me show you what the fuck is up. | ||
| How long is it? | ||
| Like 20 minutes? | ||
| 45 minutes, man. | ||
| And by the end of 45 minutes, 45 minutes with like a minute break here and there, like in between sets, it's ruthless. | ||
| It's ruthless. | ||
| Your fucking legs want to die. | ||
| It's like they're going to break. | ||
| You feel like you're going to step and your muscles just going to fall off your leg. | ||
| Like you've ripped it all apart. | ||
| If you get through that 45 minutes with that kettlebell, congratulations, you're a beast. | ||
| Yeah, Brian, whenever we've got like a big show coming up or before our ayahuasca trip, like... | ||
| Brian's like, I've got to do my kettlebell workout in the morning because it puts you in a good mood, right? | ||
| Yeah, try to get in the right zone. | ||
| It puts those endorphins going, man. | ||
| It fires up your system. | ||
| You know, it gets your testosterone production up. | ||
| When you're doing, like, real, like, they always say that the best exercises for putting on mass are full-body exercises, like deadlifts traditionally, squats, things along those lines, where your whole body has to move as a unit. | ||
| Far more effective for putting on, like, real size and functional strength than, like, say, Just bench press or just curls or something along those lines. | ||
| You know, if you look at someone whose primary supplemental training outside jiu-jitsu is bodybuilding, you can see they just don't move right. | ||
| That's not the way the human body was designed to move through space. | ||
| They're all locked through the chest and shoulders and there's no horizontal movement in their hips. | ||
| There's only linear movement. | ||
| Because if you think about it, you're pushing like... | ||
| 400 pounds on a leg press. | ||
| Your muscles and your tendons, your ligaments and your bones get used to working in a very specific direction. | ||
| There's no balance and flexibility in it. | ||
| Joe, I got a question about Aubrey when he's on here and talking about all his crazy Iboga. | ||
| I remember you and Brian were listening to him talking about Iboga and you were like, I don't ever want to do stuff like that. | ||
| When he talks about ayahuasca, is that stuff that you guys just are like, never, I never want to touch that stuff? | ||
| Oh, I would do ayahuasca in a heartbeat. | ||
| I'm not worried about ayahuasca. | ||
| Ibogaine seems, I think it would be great for someone who had real serious personality issues, substance abuse issues. | ||
| I don't have those. | ||
| Graham Hancock was talking about the iboga, and he's like, I don't want to do it again. | ||
| The closest I have to a substance abuse issue is coffee. | ||
| I love coffee. | ||
| It's a powerful drug, Joe. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Coffee or ayahuasca? | ||
| Coffee. | ||
| It's a powerful drug. | ||
| Was it ayahuasca that somebody died the other day from? | ||
| Supposedly, yeah. | ||
| But they don't know if the ayahuasca killed him. | ||
| The shaman killed him or something. | ||
| Yeah, the shaman could have killed him. | ||
| Because the shaman buried him. | ||
| So who knows if he died during a ceremony or, you know, he might have been an asshole. | ||
| Somebody might have killed him. | ||
| You really, I don't know. | ||
| I guess that was a legit shaman, like an old school. | ||
| Yeah, he was in some movie before that. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, in like a legit movie. | ||
| And then apparently this kid's dead. | ||
| I'm writing that drag off. | ||
| One guy dies. | ||
| Meanwhile, he smokes cigarettes. | ||
| Is that hilarious? | ||
| Cigarettes kill 500,000 people a year in this country alone. | ||
| He's like, well, this fucking ayahuasca killed one asshole in Peru. | ||
| Wasn't ayahuasca the drug that he said that makes you feel like you're dying the whole time? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| That's iboga. | ||
| Yeah, iboga. | ||
| Fuck that drug. | ||
| Yeah, fuck that drug. | ||
| I think we both said fuck that drug. | ||
| I think it's very beneficial for certain people. | ||
| I have a friend, my friend Ed, who runs a center down in Mexico. | ||
| Ed Clay is one of Lloyd Irvin's black belts. | ||
| Great guy. | ||
| And his whole life changed because of Ibogaine. | ||
| He took it and went down, and he had an issue with pain pills. | ||
| He'd got an injury, and like a lot of guys, they get injured, and the doctor will prescribe him something, especially if you fuck up your back. | ||
| It happened to someone I know very well. | ||
| Me as well. | ||
| It's a construction worker. | ||
| It's modern-day heroin. | ||
| It's no joke. | ||
| It's a strong opiate, isn't it? | ||
| It's terrifying. | ||
| It's very terrifying that it's so readily available, that doctors will prescribe it so easily, and that they're trusting you to have control. | ||
| They're giving you all these pills all at once. | ||
| It's not like you go to the doctor and every day he dispenses you a new one. | ||
| You know, he says, listen, I'll give you, you want to get on Oxycontin, I will give it to you, but you've got to come to me, I'll give you one. | ||
| No. | ||
| He gives a whole bottle of 90 fucking pills. | ||
| If you want to take four at a time, you can take four at a time. | ||
| No one's going to stop you. | ||
| So it's weird that we're... | ||
| We don't have that in London. | ||
| We don't have that readily accessible opiate prescriptions. | ||
| We have an incredibly hypocritical society, especially in Florida. | ||
| Florida, they've done documentaries on it that show Vanguard had the OxyContin Express. | ||
| It was a show dedicated just to OxyContin where they showed that Florida, they have these ridiculous laws where you... | ||
| I think they're trying to change that now, probably because of Vanguard, probably because of that OxyContin Express show. | ||
| But they have these things called pain management centers. | ||
| So say you come in and you say, hey, you know, I hurt my back and really it's fucking painful. | ||
| I can't even sleep. | ||
| And they go, okay, well, I'm going to write you a prescription for pain pills. | ||
| And then you take it and you shut that door and you open the next door in the same building. | ||
| They're connected and that's the pharmacy and they have your pain pills. | ||
| And it's all they have. | ||
| How does that continue to exist? | ||
| Because there's corruption. | ||
| And by the way, Florida is also the state that has recently come under fire for hiring police officers to pretend to be high school students to get kids to sell them pot. | ||
| They hired a 25-year-old woman who was hot. | ||
| She was attractive to make friends with a 17-year-old boy who was an honor roll student. | ||
| This kid tested negative, by the way. | ||
| Didn't have any pot in his system. | ||
| Didn't do drugs. | ||
| Didn't have a record. | ||
| Smart kid. | ||
| Just a kid. | ||
| Yeah, just a kid. | ||
| And she made friends with him and then got him to sell her weed. | ||
| And then they had him arrested. | ||
| And she coerced him. | ||
| I mean, she's 25 years old. | ||
| She's a woman, okay? | ||
| And she's dealing with a boy. | ||
| And she's attractive. | ||
| First of all, that's completely unfair. | ||
| The attractive women have a massive amount of power. | ||
| Especially over a 17-year-old boy. | ||
| especially over 17 especially an attractive attractive 25 year old woman I mean that's a real woman and he smells that a boy would smell that and the affection for that woman would be like super special so you know what's funny is sickness I don't know about you but when I was like younger like my fantasy was an older woman and the older you get it kind of switches around laughing What do you think? | ||
| Didn't you get it? | ||
| Oh, as you get older, your fantasy's a younger woman? | ||
| Yeah, so that's room for a loop. | ||
| No, I just didn't know if you were done. | ||
| I thought you were going to keep going. | ||
| I don't know sometimes. | ||
| Yeah, I know what you mean. | ||
| Yeah, that's a weird thing. | ||
| But some dudes know. | ||
| There's like the whole MILF market in porn. | ||
| Some dudes are into like those really dirty looking 40-year-olds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| We're just fucking savage, just cock monsters, this four-year-old fucking with mascara, sweat, all that. | ||
| There's a lot of that. | ||
| There's a lot of those videos. | ||
| Dudes are into that now. | ||
| There's women who just want to get gorilla fucked. | ||
| Older women who just, they know what they want. | ||
| That's like a whole market. | ||
| Dirty milfs. | ||
| You know what's a pretty freaky market as well? | ||
| Watch this movie called Samsara recently, the sequel to Baraka. | ||
| It's a bunch of long shots with no dialogue, and they showed this It was the most bizarre thing I've ever seen, the sex doll factory. | ||
| And then they juxtaposed that shot with one of those strip clubs slash brothels in Thailand to make a point. | ||
| And it showed you just how similar the whole thing is, the sex industry. | ||
| I mean, do you know what I mean? | ||
| Selling sex dolls and selling human beings is pretty much the same thing in that case. | ||
| That's fascinating. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Are you guys moving to West? | ||
| No, we're staying here too. | ||
| You always talk about what you want to do with The Squad and with the podcast. | ||
| I think you said recently you feel a responsibility to take this to another level and stuff. | ||
| I was wondering what you meant by that. | ||
| Well, the only thing we're doing differently is, one, I have a new studio that I'm opening up that's closer to where I live. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And it's a completely independent thing. | ||
| It's not connected to a comedy club, and it's got a lot of space. | ||
| So the idea is that we can have it set up the way I would like to have it set up, where, you know, have nice cameras and monitors on the wall. | ||
| But you're not getting rid of Redband, right? | ||
| No! | ||
| I've had this motherfucker with me for ten years. | ||
| I'm not going anywhere. | ||
| Wouldn't work without it. | ||
| He's... | ||
| Brian's one of my best friends. | ||
| I mean, he's not just... | ||
| I mean, he's a weird motherfucker, but he's... | ||
| You don't get... | ||
| Some weird dude who's into Hitler cats. | ||
| That's hard to find, man. | ||
| It's hard to find. | ||
| He's an important element. | ||
| So is it going to be a place where people hang out? | ||
| Brian's going to be with me this weekend, by the way. | ||
| We're going to be in Phoenix at Stand Up Live, and it's going to be fucking crazy, folks. | ||
| Joey Diaz is there. | ||
| He won't be there on Sunday, but he's there Friday and Saturday. | ||
| Ari Shaffir is going to be there on Friday. | ||
| Brendan Walsh is going to be there on Saturday. | ||
| Brian's going to be there the whole week. | ||
| We're going to have a fucking blast. | ||
| We haven't been to Phoenix. | ||
| It's been a couple of years. | ||
| That's one of my favorite places like that in Texas. | ||
| It's a cool town. | ||
| Did you hear they bought the other club? | ||
| Yeah, they bought the Tempe Improv too. | ||
| Good for them. | ||
| You still get nervous when you go on stage show? | ||
| No, I get excited. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, not nervous. | ||
| I'm looking forward to doing it. | ||
| It's important, so I get excited. | ||
| I wouldn't say nervous because that implies fear. | ||
| It's not a fear thing. | ||
| It's an excitement. | ||
| You have to be heightened. | ||
| You can't go up nonchalant. | ||
| People want to be entertained. | ||
| They want to feel the intensity of the performance. | ||
| They want to feel the focus. | ||
| They want to be entertained, so you have to be up for it. | ||
| So it's an excited thing. | ||
| If I didn't do my job, though, I would feel fucking nervous. | ||
| Like if I haven't been writing and I don't know what to say, there's a weird fear that comes with trying new shit and fucking around with new bits, especially if you're not convinced. | ||
| Like sometimes I'll have a bit and I'll start out with it and I'm like, man, this bit might fucking suck. | ||
| This bit might suck. | ||
| This might have been just one of those stoned ramblings. | ||
| And then I'll do it on stage and I'll find a path and all of a sudden it becomes a monster. | ||
| It's like on stage it'll become alive and you have to take that chance sometimes. | ||
| There's two aspects to writing. | ||
| One aspect is the physical act of sitting in front of a keyboard, writing in silence by myself. | ||
| There's that for sure. | ||
| That's a very important aspect of it. | ||
| But the other aspect of it It's telling the story in front of people. | ||
| Telling the bit in front of people. | ||
| Because then the motherfucker just comes alive. | ||
| Then I know, like, I was going to say it a certain way, but in the moment I go, no, no, no, I don't need that part. | ||
| I need to edit that part out and just get right to this part. | ||
| Boom, boom! | ||
| And it's a matter of editing on stage. | ||
| It's one of the few art forms that you must have an audience to create. | ||
| You have to. | ||
| I can't create... | ||
| I can start the process on my own, but I can't create the audience without... | ||
| Any audience will do? | ||
| Well, I mean, hopefully a good one. | ||
| But I can't create the stand-up. | ||
| It can't become its full form without the crowd. | ||
| It's impossible. | ||
| You use their energy. | ||
| It's part of the equation, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's a part of... | ||
| The reaction is part of it. | ||
| The feel I get from them. | ||
| The intangibles. | ||
| Like, as I'm saying it, where I know the timing lies and... | ||
| It would be impossible to describe. | ||
| It's such a specialized skill. | ||
| It's a weird skill. | ||
| It's not what everybody thinks it is, man. | ||
| It's not just you're saying things and people are considering what you're saying and they're laughing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha ha ha. | |
| There's a little bit of that, but there's also some weird fucking connection, some hypnosis thing that's going on. | ||
| Between the audience and you. | ||
| Yeah, and as an audience member, I feel it as well. | ||
| Like when I watch someone who I think is really hilarious, like when I saw Stanhope recently or when I saw Joey Diaz the other day, like when someone is really killing and you're locked into their bit, there's this weird sort of connection. | ||
| And as a performer, you feel that. | ||
| And when you're coming up with new shit, it's like you've... | ||
| You feel where it goes. | ||
| And you also feel when you're faking it. | ||
| You feel when it's forced. | ||
| You feel like all these... | ||
| And you know what they feel. | ||
| You know what the audience feels. | ||
| It's like you're conducting this... | ||
|
unidentified
|
So it's pure. | |
| It's really a pure art form. | ||
| It's a fucking weird art form. | ||
| It's really hard. | ||
| I took a comedy course and I did five minutes in London. | ||
| So it was trippy. | ||
| I know a lot of people hate on comedy courses. | ||
| I know Marin hates on comedy courses. | ||
| He shouldn't. | ||
| No one should, because it gets people in the door. | ||
| And it gets them out of their shell, right? | ||
| Yeah, if you don't know anything about stand-up, if you're not a stand-up comedian, why not take a course to force yourself on stage? | ||
| The real problem with courses is a lot of them are run by... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Losers. | |
| Okay. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| But do you need a funny guy to teach you or do you need the guy really to get you on stage and then so you can learn yourself? | ||
| You're not going to get real comedy advice from somebody who sucks. | ||
| Yeah, I don't think it's something you can really teach though, right? | ||
| They can't do it. | ||
| right? | ||
| Yeah, there was a bunch of people that wrote books on comedy. | ||
| And they were like, you know, I remember as a young professional, when I just started getting paid to do gigs, people would just laugh at these books, but how horrible the comic who actually wrote the book was. | ||
| But what a book does do, even though I agree with that in certain ways, it does get you interested in the conversation. | ||
| It does like you might like go to the bookstore and say how to be a stand up comic, man, I need to fucking find a book on how to be a comic. | ||
| And then that book might be step one. | ||
| Taking a class might be step two. | ||
| Ten years from now, you might be Marc Maron. | ||
| You might be a Marc Maron. | ||
| You might be a real professional comedian. | ||
| It's just a matter of taking those steps. | ||
| And so the good thing that a comedy class does is it allows you to fuck around and get on stage and see if this is something you're actually interested in. | ||
| And just think about the process of it. | ||
| And by the way, when you're in a bad comedy class listening to idiots tell you how to do it, you might be like, this guy's an idiot. | ||
| And that might help your comedy. | ||
| That might help you understand that there's a lot of people out there that do it terrible. | ||
| Don't do what this guy's doing. | ||
| Don't hack it up up there. | ||
| Don't make it so obvious. | ||
| Don't insult me as a person who's watching. | ||
| You might feel insulted, and that actually might benefit you in an educational sort of a way. | ||
| We just got up and sucked every week in front of these people. | ||
| And we all bonded at the end. | ||
| It was like these 12 strangers. | ||
| And it's like, if you can't make 12 random people in London laugh, then most likely you're not going to make a comedy audience laugh. | ||
| And we just got up there. | ||
| It would just suck. | ||
| Oh, by the way, tomorrow night we have a show here. | ||
| We have a show here at the Ice House. | ||
| Joey Diaz and I were on the phone today. | ||
| He's like, what are we doing tomorrow, dog? | ||
| And I go, what do you want to do? | ||
| He's like, we gotta do a fucking show. | ||
| We gotta do a fucking show. | ||
| We can't come in cold to Phoenix. | ||
| He's like, we're not coming in cold to Phoenix, dog. | ||
| We gotta give these motherfuckers at the Ice House a show. | ||
| So I said, alright, alright, we're gonna do a show. | ||
| Settle down. | ||
| Is it like breathing for you guys? | ||
| You guys gotta be on stage? | ||
| Weekly? | ||
| Well, Joey is, you know, Joey is a guy who, no matter what, Joey's always doing three, four sets a week. | ||
| He's always hopping around, doing it. | ||
| He loves it. | ||
| It's one of the reasons why he's so good, so comfortable and natural up there. | ||
| And it's just also what he loves. | ||
| He's a real stand-up, you know? | ||
| He's... | ||
| He's a black belt in stand-up comedy. | ||
| He loves it. | ||
| He loves it. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| So for him, he knows that we're going to have these huge crowds. | ||
| Phoenix, the club, is like 600 seats. | ||
| And it's almost sold out. | ||
| So it's going to be nuts. | ||
| Two shows Friday, two shows Saturday, and one show on Sunday. | ||
| So Joey's just fucking ramping up right now. | ||
| He's fucking shadowboxing in his house. | ||
| We invited him on London Real, but then he told us he doesn't have a passport. | ||
| Can't go to London. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Yeah, that sucks. | ||
| That's too bad because that would be awesome to have him on. | ||
| It would, yeah, you guys could experience the love. | ||
| Can you tell as someone who's like, you're like a black belt in STEM comedy as well, so can you tell when you meet your, when you meet a new colleague or peer, can you tell if they're a natural person? | ||
| Or if they're someone who had average talent and really polished it to a high degree. | ||
| You can tell if they're a douchebag. | ||
| And if they're a douchebag, they're probably not going to be that good. | ||
| There's something about them that's going to be fake. | ||
| They're going to be clunky. | ||
| And then some people you meet and they're just so open. | ||
| And you're like, whoa, I've got to see what this guy does on stage. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like some people, you meet them and they're just really there and centered and engaging you and you're like, oh, this is a sharp motherfucker. | ||
| Like what's going on with this guy? | ||
| When he's talking to you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You know, and then there's other guys that are like really quiet and then they get on stage and they're a motherfucker. | ||
| You know, you never know. | ||
| It's people's personalities are strange. | ||
| There's some people that are completely different on stage than they are off stage. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Some people, they're really fucking funny on stage. | ||
| And then off stage, they're just kind of quiet and reserved. | ||
| It's very strange. | ||
| They get it all out in their onstage antics. | ||
| There's that too. | ||
| There's a lot of different types of comedy. | ||
| The most taxing and exhausting is the always-on fucking one-liner guy who's always trying to say the next funny thing. | ||
| It's too much. | ||
| But you guys do crack jokes when you guys are hanging out. | ||
| Yeah, but only the ones that work. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| See, you gotta know... | ||
| It's the same thing we were talking about being a black belt. | ||
| You've got to know what is actually funny. | ||
| And you've got to know what is just annoying to listen to. | ||
| What is just you jerking off into the wind and what is actually something that's relevant. | ||
| Something relevant to bring up. | ||
| Something that you're actually contributing to the conversation. | ||
| One of the things that Brian is really good at, and I want to encourage this, but I have to give him his props, he'll say some shit that I would have never fucking thought up, and I would have never said, and he'll interject them in weird spots, and it's just like, it takes the conversation. | ||
| Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. | ||
| But it takes it to a place that you probably would have never gone on your own. | ||
| And that's what's fun in having a conversation. | ||
| What's fun in having a conversation and what's fun in watching a stand-up comedian is someone who can take shit to places where you might not have gone, but they're relevant places. | ||
| So it's like you allow them to think for you for a brief moment. | ||
| You know, you allow them. | ||
| And when someone's... | ||
| When they're awkward and clunky, you know, like, you can't think for me, stupid. | ||
| Like, what are you doing here? | ||
| You're bullshitting me. | ||
| So you tune them out? | ||
| Yeah, it's immediate. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| So when you say that someone's exhausting because they're always yuck-yucking it up, like, they don't understand how they're being perceived. | ||
| There's a disconnect between what they're projecting and what they're imagining they're projecting or how they're being received and how they're imagining they're being received. | ||
| There's a disconnect there. | ||
| And that's... | ||
| Just like the karate guy who still thinks he's a master and he's got a gut now but he wants everybody to be terrified of him and he really does believe somewhere in the back of his head that he can fucking handle multiple attackers. | ||
| You know, he's bullshitting. | ||
| Yeah, that's the scariest thing in life is when you're confronted with, when your delusions are shown to you, you know what I mean? | ||
| You think you're the Mac and then you just get destroyed in something. | ||
| That's why I told you not to eat that cookie this motherfucker was trying to give you. | ||
| Yeah, no cookies. | ||
| You don't want to fuck with these edibles, man. | ||
| Edibles will put you in a bad place. | ||
| You're ready for it. | ||
| It's very confronting, you know? | ||
| It just confronts you with all the weird shit that you've been pushing to the back of your head. | ||
| Sounds like ayahuasca a bit. | ||
| Well, have you ever seen the information on the difference between consuming marijuana? | ||
| Cannabinoids change on the first pass through the liver, right? | ||
| Yeah, the first pass through the liver becomes 11-hydroxymetabolite, which is this intense psychedelic drug, which is five times more psychoactive than THC. So for a portion of marijuana, like say... | ||
| What's in a pot brownie, just if you smoked it, would fucking get you high as shit. | ||
| But if you eat it, it's almost uncomfortable. | ||
| It's so self-examinatory and so intensely probing to all aspects of your fears and unconscious thoughts. | ||
| But you do it on a plane. | ||
| Yeah, I do it all the time. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I was in LA about five years ago and someone gave me a brownie. | ||
| I'd never had one before. | ||
| And he picked me up in the morning and said, this is for you. | ||
| We were on our way to Universal Studios, which I'd never been to before. | ||
| So I ate this thing on an empty stomach and I got really paranoid and I chickened out on the Shrek ride, man. | ||
| Like, I literally, I lost it. | ||
| I said, I gotta get out of here. | ||
| There were all these mirrors on the walls, wailing. | ||
| That's a good quote. | ||
| Oh, fucking Shrek rap. | ||
| Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt, scared of Shrek rap. | ||
| That's a new meme now. | ||
| That's a meme on the Rogan board. | ||
| Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt, scared of Shrek rap. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Weed's a motherfucker, son. | ||
| That's a tough thing, man. | ||
| A lot of people say it makes you paranoid, and I believe that a certain amount of paranoia is very important. | ||
| I really think it's not paranoia. | ||
| I think it's just... | ||
| Is that me? | ||
| How dare you. | ||
| That ringtone. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| I don't change ringtones, bitch. | ||
| I don't want to hear your music either. | ||
| If you're one of those dudes that's got some fucking latest... | ||
| Does Green Day have a latest song? | ||
| They must. | ||
| I have a badass ringtone. | ||
| I bet you do, you sexy bitch. | ||
| What was I saying? | ||
| The fuck were we talking about? | ||
| Dude, I don't know, but I've got to drop some financial science on you. | ||
| I had a point, though. | ||
| Dude, are you playing your ringtone? | ||
| Kill that. | ||
| That's kind of cool. | ||
| If you forgot that it certainly wasn't worth talking about. | ||
| I was talking too much shit, obviously. | ||
| Alright, so am I dropping some science here? | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| Derivative science? | ||
| Yeah, I've got to drop a little bit. | ||
| So I know you're always talking about the crazy derivatives and how there's too many of them out there and it's betting on fake stuff. | ||
| Well, what I talk about is that I really am a fucking idiot. | ||
| I don't really understand it. | ||
| So if I'm saying it, I'm just repeating some shit I heard online. | ||
| Fair enough. | ||
| So I'll just, like, real break it down. | ||
| Like, the oldest form of derivative is, like, it's like what the Egyptians used to do when they used to, like, grow some cotton. | ||
| And, like, they'd know that they'd, like, sell it for a future price. | ||
| And if they got a certain price, they would plant the crops. | ||
| And if they didn't, then they wouldn't. | ||
| So that was, like, the oldest form. | ||
| And then it kind of got crazy with those credit derivatives and stuff. | ||
| It's more just like technology is the way I look at it. | ||
| Like an iPad you could say is bad if you like load porn on it and give it to an eight-year-old but in theory it's not bad stuff. | ||
| The problem is when it gets a little unregulated and crazy. | ||
| Well, I see your point, and I think that what you're saying is probably correct, but I think that if you want to have a fair society and a society that makes sense, I don't think you can have things. | ||
| When it comes to money and finances, I don't think you can have things that can be manipulated in any way, shape, or form. | ||
| Or things that are based at all on confidence or perceptions of how something is doing. | ||
| So when I look at the stock, Apple's down. | ||
| You know, the iPhone has not been perceived as the fucking hit that we thought it was. | ||
| Apple stock is down. | ||
| What are you even saying? | ||
| What the fuck are you even saying? | ||
| What kind of crazy world do we live in where there's people, the regular people, who are gambling for and against a company Falling apart, are doing well, and that's a part of our society, and that's a part of our economy. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| But every time you buy something, you're kind of gambling. | ||
| When you buy your house and wherever you live, you actually are thinking it'll probably be a good investment as opposed to if you bought a house and Sure, if I was saying that you should never gamble, that would make sense. | ||
| But that's not what I'm saying. | ||
| What I'm saying is you can't gamble on shit that you're not even a part of and that can't be a giant part of the economy. | ||
| When you're buying stock and selling stock and trading stock, And things are going up and down. | ||
| The Dow is down seven points today. | ||
| What the fuck are you even talking about? | ||
| You've got a shit system. | ||
| If the Dow is down, if it's that fluctuating up and down based on some stupid fucking bill that gets passed or Iran's been rattling their sabers, the Dow is down! | ||
| You know, that's a nonsense system. | ||
| But humans are all about confidence, right? | ||
| Sure, but our economy shouldn't be based on such a weird, ethereal sort of a feeling. | ||
| Like the idea that, you know, whether or not people believe that Apple's on the ride. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What about Blackberry? | |
| Why the fuck are Blackberry now? | ||
| They were on top of the world at one point in time! | ||
| So it just seems like nonsense. | ||
| One piece of gold should equal one donkey. | ||
| Until we figure out how to have... | ||
| What was the guy's name? | ||
| Jacque Fresco? | ||
| He talks about resource-based economies. | ||
| That's the only thing that makes sense. | ||
| Economies based on numbers and derivatives and finances and stocks and bonds. | ||
| What are you even saying? | ||
| I just don't know how we're going to get there without having a complete bloodbath. | ||
| How are we going to get to a better version of government without a complete bloodbath? | ||
| You always say the internet, and that's the only option we have right now, right? | ||
| I think the internet is eventually going to be the governing of the world. | ||
| It's going to lead to the governing of the world through the people. | ||
| I think it's only inevitable. | ||
| as long as people continue to have more and more access to information and more and more power to distribute that information like we do right now. | ||
| And that's one of the scariest things about these tightening up bills. | ||
| When they're trying to stop, they're passing these cyberterrorism bills and this sweeping legislation that allows the government to come in and shut down websites and deem enemies of the state. | ||
| Like WikiLeaks is an enemy of the state now. | ||
| Julian Assange is deemed an enemy of the state. | ||
| They've decided he's as bad as Al-Qaeda. | ||
| Meanwhile, all he's done is tell the truth. | ||
| All he's done is distribute information that the government didn't want distributed, so they've decided that this guy is a fucking terrorist. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you going to vote? | |
| That's serious. | ||
| I think it's nonsense. | ||
| I mean, as I get older, I think it's more and more nonsense. | ||
| It's a silly system. | ||
| If Gary Johnson can't debate, okay, what you got is you got a rigged system. | ||
| You got a giant, crazy, rigged, fake system. | ||
| And if I pretend that I'm a part of this stupid electoral college, And hop on board. | ||
| It's nonsense. | ||
| The college is still crazy, right? | ||
| Every aspect of it is nuts. | ||
| Lobbyists are nuts. | ||
| The ability to donate, corporations' ability to donate limitless amounts of money. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| That's just this term. | ||
| The latest super PACs and all that. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's fucking crazy. | |
| It's weird watching it from London. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| It seems like a big joke with Romney. | ||
| It is a big joke. | ||
| My sister liked Romney on Facebook last night, Joe. | ||
| Good for her. | ||
| He seems like a nice guy. | ||
| I like him, too. | ||
| Doesn't mean I would vote for him. | ||
| And even if you vote for him, I think it's been pretty obvious with Obama that it's not that easy. | ||
| And what Obama's done, everybody thought that Obama was going to be this great savior of this country and is going to I remember this woman who was all happy when he won, and now I know that my mortgage is going to be paid, and now I know that I was listening to her say this, and I was like, whoa, you want to talk about some high expectations for someone who's going to come in and you think he's going to fix this incredibly fucking entangled, corrupt system? | ||
| Not only did he not fix it, but he let some shit get passed that I would have never thought that the National Defense Authorization Act Which allows the military to break up civil dissent. | ||
| It allows the military to be used on U.S. civilians. | ||
| It allows people to be held without authorization. | ||
| It allows, rather, without representation, without any recourse. | ||
| You can't have a trial. | ||
| They can just hold you indefinitely as long as they want. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's terrifying, man. | |
| It's terrifying. | ||
| It's terrifying that they would ask for that. | ||
| Here's why. | ||
| It's not like things have gone horribly bad in this country. | ||
| It's not like there's riots in the streets every day and people are assassinating government leaders and there's bombs blowing up in buildings everywhere. | ||
| And we have resorted to some sort of arcane law that we're going to have to put into place until we can calm things down. | ||
| We've got to control. | ||
| No, it's not that big. | ||
| Walk down the street in Pasadena. | ||
| It's beautiful out here, man. | ||
| Get on the highway. | ||
| There's a few too many cars. | ||
| People are civil. | ||
| You've got hours and hours of bumper-to-bumper traffic, and the worst thing is somebody might blow the horn or stick a finger out at somebody. | ||
| No one's cutting people's heads off with swords. | ||
| It's not necessary to pass these crazy Orwellian laws. | ||
| But what it makes me think is that they can see the writing on the wall, and they know that this form of running governments It's no longer valid. | ||
| It doesn't work. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| We understand your influence. | ||
| We understand why you're making these decisions. | ||
| We see where the money comes from now. | ||
| It's all readily available. | ||
| It's not like we're living in 1930, and I have to read the Hearst newspapers to find out what the information is going to be about this upcoming election. | ||
| You can find out anything about anybody. | ||
| It's really different now. | ||
| And it's not saying that we don't need a government. | ||
| We certainly need a government. | ||
| It's not saying we shouldn't have corporations. | ||
| Of course we should have corporations. | ||
| There's a lot of corporations that I think are great. | ||
| I think Apple's great. | ||
| I think Porsche's great. | ||
| I like their products. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| There's nothing wrong with that. | ||
| It's just we can't allow companies. | ||
| Money to supersede humanity. | ||
| And that's what they've done. | ||
| They've allowed the idea of doing their stockholders justice and making as much money as possible, they've allowed that to supersede humanity. | ||
| And when you have businesses where their entire function is to supersede humanity, you can see that, and you can measure that, that we need to stop that. | ||
| That needs to be closed down. | ||
| They've got to stop it for themselves because they're all having fucking horrible karma from that. | ||
| Yeah, that's got to be bad karma. | ||
| It's terrible, man. | ||
| Have you thought about having politicians on the show? | ||
| We've had a few. | ||
| We've had a young kid, David Seaman. | ||
| He's coming back again in a couple of weeks. | ||
| Would politicians want to come on your show? | ||
| No, why would they want to? | ||
| Maybe Gary Johnson would. | ||
| But he's legit. | ||
| I spoke to Ron Paul. | ||
| I had a chance to speak to him on The Tonight Show. | ||
| I never asked him to come on the podcast because I thought it would be ridiculous. | ||
| Seaman's coming on you again? | ||
| Yeah, he's coming on again. | ||
| What, you have a problem with that? | ||
| No, I said Siemens coming on you again. | ||
| Oh, how dare you. | ||
| See? | ||
| Fucking child. | ||
| It's good, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There you go. | |
| That's what you're talking about. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Like the needle off the record. | ||
| This is my man-child, barking out in the distance. | ||
| But you've created a joke. | ||
| So this is our one-year anniversary, pretty much, since we started this show. | ||
| And, I mean, obviously it was... | ||
| It was pretty much after watching your show. | ||
| I mean, the split screen was pretty much an ode to when you used to shoot it, I think, at your house, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, we started doing it because of Anthony Cumia, really. | ||
| He was the big push. | ||
| I mean, when we went to the Opie and Anthony show, and Anthony has a show called Live from the Compound. | ||
| He actually has a fucking sick setup. | ||
| He has a green screen and a broadcast desk and really high-end microphones. | ||
| And him and his buddies would get drunk and do a show. | ||
| And we were like, me and Brian were like, that looks fun. | ||
| Was it video as well? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| So we started doing it. | ||
| It'll be three years for us in December. | ||
| We started doing it just on a Ustream on a laptop. | ||
| And you guys were on sofas, right? | ||
| Yeah, we were in my house. | ||
| Just chilling in my house. | ||
| We were bored. | ||
| Well, you infected us over in London, you know? | ||
| Well, you know, like I said, we were infected first. | ||
| Yeah, Brian and I, we've come up with this idea called Global Real, and we want to facilitate the setting up of like similar things, Learn Real, in every major city in the world. | ||
| Or anybody who wants to just do a podcast. | ||
| And we talked to some guys actually in Victoria, British Columbia, there's a guy over there, Eric Faust, and we talked to him recently on Skype, and he's like, I want to do a podcast. | ||
| I'm like, just do it. | ||
| You know, if you want some help, let's do it. | ||
| And he's like, I want to call it Victoria Reel with your permission. | ||
| And I was like, dude, we don't know the name. | ||
| As long as it's not another London Reel, you're good, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You don't have to bust those things up, right? | |
| There can't be enough podcasts, right? | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| Yeah, you know, there's a lot of people that feel like the other people that are doing podcasts are somehow or another the competition. | ||
| I don't feel that at all. | ||
| I never have. | ||
| I feel like there's 300 million fucking human beings just in this country and hundreds of millions worldwide that also listen to anything English. | ||
| I think there's a huge audience for everybody, and I don't think that it has to be Us against them. | ||
| I'm inspired by other comedians just like I'm inspired by other podcasts. | ||
| But I'm a big believer in the way to be successful and the way to feel good is to help other people. | ||
| To help other people do things. | ||
| Abundance mentality though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like that's one of the first signs of an enlightened human being is he knows there's enough for everyone. | ||
| He doesn't have to like Claw and scrape and say, this is mine. | ||
| Once you start sending that energy out into the universe, your experience becomes very, very different. | ||
| I think my stand-up comedy, all of it has benefited from that. | ||
| My life has benefited from it. | ||
| I think you have to be a generous person. | ||
| I'll regularly go to a coffee shop and leave a $100 tip. | ||
| I think you've got to do that. | ||
| I leave little happiness bombs. | ||
| I always joke about it. | ||
| My friend Duncan and I ate at this barbecue place. | ||
| And, you know, I tipped the waiter a hundred bucks, and he didn't even know it, but we laughed. | ||
| Thanks, bye. | ||
| And I get out of there. | ||
| I love the fact that the dude's going to open up the thing and see a hundred bucks. | ||
| Motherfucker just gave me a hundred bucks. | ||
| And you're gone, right? | ||
| Yeah, and I'm gone. | ||
| It's a little happiness bomb. | ||
| And I think that that sort of mentality, I've also put that to stand up. | ||
| And all of us would do that. | ||
| Ari does that. | ||
| Duncan does that. | ||
| Brian does that. | ||
| Joey Diaz does that. | ||
| We're the first guys to tell you about someone that we... | ||
| Yeah, I think so, man. | ||
| There's a lot of comics who bring guys on the road with them that are terrible so they don't show them up. | ||
| I've always been of the mindset that I should bring the funniest human beings that are available so that the show is better and it makes me laugh. | ||
| It's not going to make me less funny. | ||
| That idea is crazy to me. | ||
| There's a lot of people that actually want the person who's on in front of them to not be funny. | ||
| Because then it makes them look better. | ||
| That's the worst way of thinking ever. | ||
| Because your sense of what is funny or what's funny about you is so delicate that no one else can also be funny. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Sometimes you're funny, but you're only funny if someone before you sucks? | ||
| That doesn't even make sense. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| It's a lack of that abundance mentality and a lack of the real idea that human beings are inexorably connected. | ||
| That we're connected by energy and that we're connected by intent. | ||
| We're connected by the thoughts that we put out there and the thoughts that we receive from other people. | ||
| It's not this woo-woo thing. | ||
| This is a real exchange of energy. | ||
| It's real. | ||
| I've been impressed by the power of a conversation. | ||
| We get on the air once a week. | ||
| We have an hour conversation with someone who we think is important. | ||
| And that's why we put them in the center of the screen. | ||
| We want to feature these people to the world, whether it's Simon Powell with his psilocybin solution or an MMA fighter or somebody. | ||
| And it's like, check this dude out. | ||
| It's had a big effect on me. | ||
| I mean, I've grown so much as a person this last year. | ||
| It's probably been the best year of my life, and this is like 10 years of financial markets and making money and doing this, but like this last year, I've changed the most. | ||
| I fucking drank ayahuasca. | ||
| Two years ago, I would have been the dude that glazes over when you talk about psychedelics. | ||
| I'm like, oh, you're one of those fucks. | ||
| And now I'm doing it, and I treat people differently. | ||
| What made you have an altering of that idea? | ||
| I walked away from that job because I don't know. | ||
| I think a lot of times, as young males, we're sold this capitalist promise where you go to school, you make the money, you get the girl, you have the car, and you're happy. | ||
| And a lot of our viewers, I think, are the same way. | ||
| They're like these guys in their mid-20s. | ||
| I think they're playing the game, and they're like, okay, then where are all my rewards? | ||
| And they're like, I'm not happy with this anymore. | ||
| And I think I got there. | ||
| I was doing this day-in, day-out job, and it was quote-unquote successful, and I had all the trappings, and then I was just like, I wasn't happy. | ||
| So I just walked away from it, scared as hell, with nothing to do. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| That's a beautiful story. | ||
| Yeah, and then for six months, I was literally not doing much, and Nick and I would meet in the West End, And walk around London for like three hours and I was listening to your podcast and we'd walk and we'd talk about philosophy and women and finance and perspectives and at the end I'd be like, Nick, that would have made a fucking good podcast. | ||
| If we had just recorded it, you know? | ||
| And then Nick's like, let's do it, let's do it, let's do it. | ||
| And then I arrived at Brian's house, I thought it was just going to be us talking into... | ||
| GarageBand and Brian set up this huge studio and there's a microphone in my face. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| Yeah, it was cool. | ||
| And we got the cameras. | ||
| I thought the video was super important because I've listened to audio podcasts before, but you need to see guys' faces. | ||
| And I always say for our guests, people need to see at least the first five minutes because they need to see if they're a cunt or not. | ||
| If they're a douche. | ||
| And you can tell after five minutes of looking at someone, I think you can say, okay, I like this guy's vibe. | ||
| And then you can listen if you want. | ||
| You can tell from listening, too. | ||
| You know, I was listening to the Opie and Anthony show and there was a guy on. | ||
| I was like, man... | ||
| This guy sounds like a cunt to me. | ||
| They're being nice to the guy, but I'm like, this guy sounds like a douchebag. | ||
| So I asked a friend who knew him. | ||
| He goes, oh, he's a piece of shit. | ||
| I go, oh, thank you. | ||
| I go, because I was like, this guy is playing these guys. | ||
| I was like, there's something about this guy that is so disingenuous. | ||
| And as soon as I asked my friend who knew him, I was like, oh, he's a piece of shit. | ||
| I fucking hate that guy. | ||
| I was like, thank you. | ||
| Just by listening? | ||
| Yeah, just by listening, man. | ||
| But I agree with you about the video, but the reality is the majority of our listeners are audio only. | ||
| More than 70%, I think. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Way more than that. | |
| Is it really? | ||
| Probably like 90%. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty crazy. | ||
| We have a big, but I say it was more like 60%, I'd say. | ||
| Well, between Stitcher, which is... | ||
| Are you guys on Stitcher? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, we're on Stitcher. | |
| I love Stitcher. | ||
| I really like that, yeah. | ||
| It's a cool service. | ||
| Don't tell Bill Burr. | ||
| Stitcher is one great way that we're distributed through smartphones, but now there's the... | ||
| You know, the iPhone app on the new iPhones, they have a podcast app. | ||
| And we have our own podcast app. | ||
| You can find the Joe Rogan Experience podcast app. | ||
| It's free. | ||
| But the audio version is where people, like, listen to it on the train or in their car or at the gym or whatever. | ||
| I think that's much more prevalent. | ||
| Very few assholes are sitting in front of their computer watching. | ||
| I usually watch the first few minutes just to take a look at the guests and then I switch to audio. | ||
| We got GIFs, by the way. | ||
| Might as well drop these things on you guys. | ||
| You have gifts for us? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| How dare you. | ||
| I know, huh? | ||
| Hopefully you brought batteries. | ||
| That's for you. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| And that's for you, Red Band. | ||
| Oh, no way. | ||
| Brian, did you say that with a gay accent, you son of a bitch? | ||
| That's some crazy-ass London Real wrapping paper. | ||
| You have your own wrapping paper? | ||
| No, it's actually some posters. | ||
| I didn't have any wrapping paper at home. | ||
| We've got to get on it, son. | ||
| We've got to get wrapping paper. | ||
| But it looks kind of cool, right? | ||
| DeskWad wrapping paper for Christmas? | ||
| Come on, dude. | ||
| Yeah, you've got to put that up to the camera. | ||
| Come on, DeskWad wrapping paper? | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| This guy, whoever you were that came with the Higher Primate tattoo, this guy had the dopest fucking, one of my t-shirt designs on his shoulder, the Shiva one. | ||
| He had it done on his shoulder by this wicked tattoo artist. | ||
| Whoever you were, you fucking son of a bitch. | ||
| That was a badass tattoo. | ||
| Dude, you've got Pride gloves for me. | ||
| Dude, those were some originals. | ||
| Were they used? | ||
| No, those... | ||
| I went to Pride, I think it was in 05 in Japan, and they've never been used. | ||
| And then Red Band's got the classic English shirt. | ||
| I think Pride gloves are actually better than the gloves that the UFC uses. | ||
| In one way, it's that the padding goes more over the end of the fingers, and it kind of keeps you curled. | ||
| I feel like there are less eye pokes in Pride. | ||
| Do you feel that? | ||
| Man, I can't remember Pride. | ||
| It was so long gone. | ||
| Pride was awesome, man. | ||
| Yeah, it was fun. | ||
| Fuck, it was awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Love it. | |
| I used to love it. | ||
| It was such a crazy time. | ||
| Those fights were nuts, man. | ||
| Like, there's no other organization that would have put on Minotauro versus Bob Sapp. | ||
| That was a great fight. | ||
| That was craziness, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was like they were almost superheroes in that ring. | ||
| If you don't know what we're talking about, Minotauro is this guy who's like the original jiu-jitsu heavyweight. | ||
| Like the original guy. | ||
| The first guy really to come along and start submitting high-end guys from his back. | ||
| Nobody did that before Minotauro. | ||
| And he fought this guy named Bob Sapp who was literally 370 pounds of all muscle. | ||
| He was fucking ridiculous. | ||
| And it was a crazy fight where Bob Sapp... | ||
| Piledrived Minotaur at one point in time. | ||
| Minotaur was more than a hundred pounds lighter than him. | ||
| More than a hundred. | ||
| I think he was probably a hundred and fifty pounds lighter than him. | ||
| It was craziness. | ||
| And he slapped the armbar on him. | ||
| Slapped an armbar at the end and caught him in an armbar. | ||
| Spoiler alert. | ||
| And Bob Sapp probably couldn't extend his arm more than that. | ||
| Oh, it was ridiculous. | ||
| Bob Sapp was so big, he didn't look real. | ||
| He made so much money in Japan endorsing products and stuff. | ||
| He made millions of it. | ||
| Yeah, but then the market kind of fell apart. | ||
| From what I understand, we're going to get Ensign Inoue on the podcast next time Ensign's in America. | ||
| Love him. | ||
| Yeah, he's great. | ||
| He went into Fukushima and delivered aid and stuff. | ||
| That was one intense dude. | ||
| Dude, that guy is the real deal. | ||
| And he was there during the height of Pride. | ||
| And he was also there when it dropped off. | ||
| So he'd probably be the one that could tell you what the fuck really happened. | ||
| When he comes on the podcast, maybe we'll get it from him. | ||
| And James Thompson, he was involved. | ||
| He's British, right? | ||
| Yeah, Colossus. | ||
| He's on my message board now. | ||
| And he writes a lot of blogs. | ||
| He's actually a very good writer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Really interesting cat, you know, because he's this big, scary-looking motherfucker, but he's actually a really well-thought-out, well-spoken guy. | ||
| He's a London Real fan. | ||
| He sent us a message the other day, actually. | ||
| That was him, right? | ||
| He sent me a message to my Facebook, and I was like, can't be the same James Thompson. | ||
| Yeah, he's a great guy, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's cool. | |
| Sorry, James, I'm going to get back to you. | ||
| Like I said, he's on my message board all the time. | ||
| He's a great guy. | ||
| A lot of MMA guys are cool dudes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think it's along the same lines that we talked about with jiu-jitsu. | ||
| The only difference with MMA, of course, is that you have to consider... | ||
| Thank you very much for these gloves, by the way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's awesome. | |
| Thank you, man. | ||
| You have to consider with MMA the potential for long-term damage to your mind. | ||
| You just have to consider that. | ||
| And so these guys always have that sort of hanging over their head. | ||
| And I think that's one of the reasons why you really can't enjoy it like you can enjoy jiu-jitsu. | ||
| Like jujitsu, even when you tap somebody, you don't feel bad because you get tapped too. | ||
| Everybody taps. | ||
| It's just part of the whole game. | ||
| It's like he needs to learn that you can't put your arm there if the guy's got your back. | ||
| He needs to learn what he did wrong in that position because it's not like if you got Hodger in that position, you could have tapped him. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's a lesson for everybody. | ||
| So you don't even feel bad about delivering the lesson. | ||
| Because if you're trying to get good at jujitsu, ultimately you should welcome getting tapped. | ||
| Because it exposes you, your true weaknesses, otherwise you're really not going to know. | ||
| And the only way to get better is to see those weaknesses, shore up those holes, and move forward. | ||
| So someone who taps you is actually helping you. | ||
| And that aspect doesn't exist in kickboxing. | ||
| You know, kickboxing, man, you only have a certain rat-a-tat-tat That you could take to your head. | ||
| You only have a certain number, man. | ||
| And when you deliver, especially when you deliver on a sparring partner, there's part of you that knows that you just did some damage. | ||
| When you uncork a right hand on someone, you see their eyes roll back and their knees buckle, you know you just fuck that guy's consciousness up for a blip. | ||
| Are guys training smarter these days? | ||
| I know Mack Denzik was here talking about that. | ||
| Do you think a lot of fighters have had that new philosophy of, I'm going to train smarter, not harder? | ||
| I think some of them have, certainly. | ||
| But some of them don't have access to the most technical trainers. | ||
| You know, there's some trainers, like there's the Matt Humes of the world, who if you watch their fighters, their fighters are so obviously well-trained, very obviously technical. | ||
| Winklejohn's fighters are also very similar. | ||
| They're super obviously well technically trained. | ||
| You watch Cowboy Cerrone move. | ||
| You watch what John Jones is learning. | ||
| These guys are learning very good technique. | ||
| And the only way to truly do that is to be taught by someone who is at the front of the game. | ||
| Someone who really knows what the fuck is up. | ||
| Someone who has a super technical stand-up game and knows how to move a fighter... | ||
| Through progression. | ||
| Challenge them and test them, but not have them get mauled. | ||
| Not have them get beat up. | ||
| And figure out a way to balance all that out. | ||
| Because it takes one bad punch and you'll never be the same fighter again. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen guys that, especially kicks, I've seen guys that got kicked in the head and were never the same. | ||
| And that is 100% real. | ||
| Especially, like, there's certain kicks, like wheel kicks and things along those lines where there's an insane amount of power. | ||
| That's where the heel lands on your head, right? | ||
| Yeah, Edson Barbosa versus Terry Edom fight, where Edson Barbosa knocked Terry Edom out with a wheel kick in Brazil. | ||
| I mean, it was fucking nasty. | ||
| I mean, the heel connected right to the jaw. | ||
| The consciousness was gone instantly. | ||
| He fell down like he was dead. | ||
| Those kind of knockouts, man. | ||
| How many of those you got in your life? | ||
| I mean, do you have five? | ||
| Do you have a number, like five, and after that you'll never be the same person? | ||
| Is it one? | ||
| Is it two? | ||
| Is it three? | ||
| We really don't know because it varies per person. | ||
| Do you see these guys fade sometimes? | ||
| I mean, you're in there week in and week out commentating on these UFCs. | ||
| Do you ever see that, you know, that Terry Adam guy and you're like, wait a second, he's not moving the same way he used to? | ||
| No question about it. | ||
| You could see it in their speech patterns. | ||
| Some guys, a lot of, you know, look, the underground is a mixed martial arts forum that I frequent. | ||
| MixedMartialArts.com. | ||
| In my opinion, the best Mixed Martial Arts website in the world. | ||
| Shut up, bitch! | ||
| Have you ever been to Sherdog, Brian? | ||
| Sherdog's good, too. | ||
| They're old school. | ||
| It's a great website, too. | ||
| There's just a few too many cunts on the board. | ||
| They're just a little better at squashing cuntiness. | ||
| Although I shouldn't say that because I hear Sherdog's gotten a lot better about it. | ||
| Anyway, my point is they're ruthless because they're hiding behind anonymous screen names, but sometimes they're accurate. | ||
| And every now and then they'll put up a video and say, does so-and-so seem to have brain damage? | ||
| And then you listen to him and you're like, wow, that guy is struggling. | ||
| There was a video with Paul Williams recently where he was, Paul Williams the boxer, who got knocked out by Sergio Martinez with a vicious one-punch knockout. | ||
| And then he was in a motorcycle accident, which left him paralyzed, and they interviewed him in the motorcycle. | ||
| And I was listening to his labored speech, and I was like, ooh, that doesn't sound good. | ||
| That's a horrible man. | ||
| Yeah, I met, well, I didn't meet him, but I was right behind Terry Norris when he was talking to a fan once. | ||
| And I was a huge Terry Norris fan when I was a kid. | ||
| He was like one of my favorite boxers. | ||
| And Terry Norris was standing there talking to this dude, and I couldn't believe it was real. | ||
| I thought he was hammered drunk or something. | ||
| I thought, this cannot be real. | ||
| This cannot be how this guy talks now. | ||
| And so I inched over close and listened to their conversation. | ||
| And oh my god, it was so sad. | ||
| It was the saddest fucking thing to me. | ||
| Because being a big fan of this guy and watching his fight so many times, he was this really wild dude. | ||
| And he got knocked out a few times. | ||
| And he was one of those guys that was either... | ||
| He would kill or be killed. | ||
| And he got knocked out by some... | ||
| Badass dudes like Julian Jackson knocked him out. | ||
| Fucking scary knockouts. | ||
| And to see him, when he was younger than me at the time, and to see him slurring his words like that scared the fucking shit out of me, man. | ||
| Just scared the shit out of me. | ||
| You've seen Meldrick Taylor lately? | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
| Horrific. | ||
| Melchick Taylor was one of the best boxers to ever come out of the Olympics in his early professional days. | ||
| He was a fucking wizard. | ||
| He was so fast. | ||
| And he had one really, really brutal fight with Julio Cesar Chavez. | ||
| Never the same again. | ||
| And then Terry Norris knocked him out. | ||
| A few guys knocked him out, but he's still fighting. | ||
| And they had an interview with him recently on HBO where they showed him when he was younger, talking, and then they showed him today. | ||
| And it's horrendous. | ||
| That is a real reality of combat sports. | ||
| Do you think the UFC is safe enough now? | ||
| Or do you think in 10 years we're going to start seeing blowback? | ||
| And is there any other way around that? | ||
| I mean, humans want to see combat sports, right? | ||
| Well, look, here's what's safe. | ||
| You've got to get out before you have irreparable damage. | ||
| That's what's safe. | ||
| Guys have done it. | ||
| There's guys who have retired and they're fine and healthy. | ||
| Look, Marvin Hagler is apparently in great, great health. | ||
| He was a great boxer, but he never got knocked out. | ||
| He never got fucked up. | ||
| Hagler knew after the Sugar Ray Leonard fight, alright, I'm done. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| He never came back. | ||
| Rocky Marciano did the same thing. | ||
| Got out before he got really fucked up and was fine in his later years before he died in a plane crash. | ||
| But you can figure out, but you have to be really smart. | ||
| And that's hard to do. | ||
| And it's also you have to have something that excites you, like fighting does. | ||
| Because these guys, it's not like you can fight and then all of a sudden you can't fight anymore. | ||
| It's you can fight and you fight just a little less good than you used to. | ||
| And it fucks with your head. | ||
| And you're like, you know what, man? | ||
| I just need to change my training up. | ||
| I need to incorporate some fucking swimming or something. | ||
| And you'll try to do that. | ||
| And then you get knocked out again. | ||
| And you're like, wow, I was winning that first round until I got caught. | ||
| Like Chance Pulver is still going at it. | ||
| Sure, still going at it. | ||
| Because he's still good enough to stay in the game, but only just, right? | ||
| Only just. | ||
| And those knockouts, those all become ticket holes. | ||
| Holes in your ticket. | ||
| Chunk! | ||
| Where your ticket gets punched over and over again. | ||
| And how many you got? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| I mean, Alistair has been stopped a bunch of times, but you look at him now, he's better than ever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ovarin. | |
| Yeah, Ovarin's been stopped. | ||
| But Peter Ertz. | ||
| Peter Ertz has been stopped a gang of times. | ||
| Still beat Semi Schilt two years ago in the K-1 Grand Prix. | ||
| So it's like some guys, they can get stopped a bunch of times and still be okay, and other guys not. | ||
| It's luck of the draw right at the end of the day. | ||
| No one can tell you. | ||
| Some guys, like Mark Hunt, can take a fucking ferocious shot. | ||
| And there's other guys who just can't take that much punishment. | ||
| They're built differently. | ||
| They... | ||
| For whatever it's worth, who knows what it is? | ||
| Some person has a glass jaw, the other guy's got an iron jaw. | ||
| How much of it is psychological? | ||
| How much of it is physical? | ||
| It's hard to tell. | ||
| It's a combination of both, I'm sure. | ||
| But it's not a safe sport. | ||
| It's as safe as we can make it, but the fighters all realize that there's a certain amount of risk involved. | ||
| You're going to get injured. | ||
| You're going to get broken bones. | ||
| You're going to get torn ligaments. | ||
| You're going to get concussions. | ||
| You're going to have that in mixed martial arts. | ||
| There's no way around that. | ||
| So in that sense, it's as safe as we can make it, but it's a dangerous sport. | ||
| So they have to think about that, and they have to train with that in mind, and they have to understand when it's time to not do it anymore. | ||
| You know what really pisses me off is when someone says, oh, the ref shouldn't have stopped the fight. | ||
| It's like, man, always err on the side of caution when it's someone's brain in jeopardy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I think some guys, you've got to let them try to get it. | ||
| Like Frankie Edgar, a perfect example. | ||
| How do you stop that guy's fights early? | ||
|
unidentified
|
When you see that first round, two fights in a row. | |
| You see that and you go, how could you stop that guy's fight? | ||
| You've got to look at the individual and his ability to bounce back from punishment. | ||
| You've got to give him the opportunity to win. | ||
| Frankie's proven time and time again that he can do that. | ||
| In that sense, the referee has to be an expert in fighters' particular styles and their ability to endure punishment. | ||
| It's not the best way to compete, but with a guy like Frankie Edgar, it's also one of his weapons. | ||
| One of his weapons is that he's in incredible shape and that he recovers quickly. | ||
| And, you know, he can wear a guy out because of that. | ||
| He can drag a guy into some crazy fucking firefight where, you know, he's got a thousand bullets and the other guy might only have 400. So, you know, he might think, oh, I got 400 bullets. | ||
| This guy's fucking dead. | ||
| Meanwhile, he can keep going, man. | ||
| And, like, you know, the fourth round with Gray Maynard, when he knocked him out, it was like, God damn, he's still going. | ||
| He's still going at the same clip he was going in the first round. | ||
| And Gray couldn't manage that at that point in his... | ||
| What's it like behind the scenes at the UFC? I mean, what would we be surprised at something you just notice all the time when you're calling those fights at the UFC? I don't know, man. | ||
| You know, it's a weird job. | ||
| It's a weird job even for me. | ||
| It's hard to believe that it is my job whenever I do it. | ||
| It's hard to believe. | ||
| I put on the headphones and they talk to me in the booth. | ||
| I'm like, what's up? | ||
| What's up? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's up? | |
| You ready to do this? | ||
| Let's do this. | ||
| Goldie and I touch knuckles in the first fight. | ||
| We're going to start in five, four. | ||
| The music plays and the lights go on. | ||
| You're like, wow, I guess this is my job. | ||
| It's hard to imagine they're paying you to do that? | ||
| It doesn't even seem real. | ||
| It doesn't seem real. | ||
| It doesn't seem that I'm the one who represents the techniques and I'm the one who explains to people... | ||
| What to look for and what's going on. | ||
| It's very strange. | ||
| So even while I'm doing it, I mean, I'm doing it to the best of my abilities, the best of my knowledge. | ||
| It's still bizarre as fuck. | ||
| I have a hard time believing it's really happening while I'm doing it. | ||
| I always tell people we're like you and Goldberg. | ||
| Like, I'm the Goldberg because I got a bunch of questions I got to ask Hancock, for example. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And then Nick's kind of like the play-by-play flow. | ||
| flow. | ||
| He just like, if he's feeling something, he just asked that question. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then I'm like, okay, I gotta, I gotta get through these things. | ||
| I gotta say the fighter does this, the fighter does this next week on Fox. | ||
| You can watch this show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's Goldberg's move. | ||
| It's a difficult job. | ||
| He doesn't get nearly as much credit as he deserves. | ||
| He's really good at that. | ||
| He's really smooth. | ||
| People just get upset that he's not a martial artist. | ||
| The bottom line is you really have to be an actual martial artist to do martial arts commentary. | ||
| There's no way around it. | ||
| You can't fake it. | ||
| You can't not know how to take someone's back and explain how he's got to take his back. | ||
| If you see someone who's doing something, I'll see someone occasionally. | ||
| I'm like, you can't let go of that underhook. | ||
| I'm like, if this guy lets go of that underhook, this motherfucker's going to take his back. | ||
| Especially a guy like Hani Yaya or someone who's a super high-level guy. | ||
| Like, Hanyaya, one of his recent fights, he got side control on this guy, and as soon as he reached back, I'm like, oh, he's going north-south choke. | ||
| And I called it, like, several steps ahead. | ||
| But with a guy like Hany, you can see it. | ||
| Like, I know what he's going to do. | ||
| You can't let him wrap his arm around your neck. | ||
| You let him reach back with that left arm, you might as well just go to sleep. | ||
| Just take a nap, because he's going to choke you. | ||
| That's step one of a three-step process you're not going to be able to stop. | ||
| Because once he got step one, his base is set, and you're done. | ||
| And you've got to know that. | ||
| There's no way you can know that without doing that. | ||
| If you listen to the commentary on the early UFCs, it's hysterical, because these guys were like, The hardest part, to me, is the ground game. | ||
| There's a lot of variables in stand-up, for sure. | ||
| It's not that stand-up is easy, but there's infinite variables on the ground, and you have to understand the various different styles of attacking different positions. | ||
| Some guys They'll go side control on a guy and face towards the feet. | ||
| And they'll be like, guys, we'll try to get a guy in a twister or try to get someone's back. | ||
| And then there's other guys that go judo style. | ||
| And they're going to look for the mounted crucifix. | ||
| They're going to look to ground and pound. | ||
| Or they're going to look for a scarf hole or some kind of like... | ||
| Mark Coleman did that to Dan Severn. | ||
| It was like one of the first submissions in the UFC heavyweight division when he won the title. | ||
| You have to see all those. | ||
| You have to understand those. | ||
| You have to have been strangled. | ||
| You have to get somebody with it. | ||
| You have to fight it off. | ||
| If you don't, you're not going to be able to explain to people what this guy's doing wrong or what he needs to do. | ||
| And that's what makes it more exciting. | ||
| When a guy's doing, like Jimmy Smith is really good at it from Bellator. | ||
| With Jimmy Smith, if a guy's got someone's back, he's like, He's got to defend with his right arm while he's attacking with his left. | ||
| He'll explain to people. | ||
| And if you're a person who's an amateur or someone who has nothing to do with martial arts, you can watch it and follow along. | ||
| Oh, I see what that guy's doing. | ||
| His right arm's going to choke that guy. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And the other guy, he's saying he's got to get his leg free, otherwise he's going to get, oh, I see, yeah, he's holding him with his legs. | ||
| And it adds to the excitement. | ||
| And that's, you can't be a sports guy and do that. | ||
| You have to be a martial artist. | ||
| On that note, Joe, what's your favorite submission? | ||
| Chokes. | ||
| With the collar? | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| I hate that. | ||
|
unidentified
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Do you use the gi? | |
| Yeah, I have a black belt under Jean-Jacques in the gi, but I don't fucking use it. | ||
| I use overhooks and underhooks. | ||
| I believe that if your game is gi-oriented, the good thing about the gi is defense. | ||
| The good thing about the gi is you must be tactical in your defense. | ||
| You have to be tactical in your attacks. | ||
| You can't... | ||
| Because a guy gets a hold of your collar, a guy gets a hold of your sleeve, there's a lot of shit they could do to you if you were slippery and with no gi, you could just muscle out of it. | ||
| But you have to use technique and you have to do it the right way with a gi. | ||
| So in that way, the gi is good. | ||
| So you're like a Das in Bravo guy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I think that... | ||
| Or rear nakeds and guillotines. | ||
| But I think that the beautiful thing about a gi is if you're fighting a guy who's got a coat on. | ||
| Some guy who's got a leather jacket on is talking shit. | ||
| All you have to do is grab his collar and he's dead. | ||
| He just won't know what's happening. | ||
| All you have to do is get a hand. | ||
| He won't even know what you're doing. | ||
| He'll be trying to punch you and just reach into his collar and just... | ||
| You know what I find interesting? | ||
| I don't know if you remember there was that scientist... | ||
| There was a group of islands that had different monkey tribes on and what was happening is... | ||
| When one monkey and one island learn how to pick a certain banana or open a certain fruit, then all the other monkeys learned it. | ||
| And it's a similar thing with Jiu-Jitsu. | ||
| Suddenly, you'll just see this new choke in the game that you've never seen before. | ||
| And then in three months, everyone knows it. | ||
| It's such an interesting thing. | ||
| Yeah, Darces came along that way. | ||
| Yeah, that's what made me think of it. | ||
| So that front kick, that Anderson Silva front kick after he started doing everybody. | ||
| Well, that was so dramatic. | ||
| That was something that everybody saw. | ||
| But I think what you're saying is that it just spreads through schools because people just figure it out at the same time. | ||
| Because they watch YouTube videos and some guy uses in a column. | ||
| It's like a meme. | ||
| Sometimes. | ||
| Well, there's also one technique. | ||
| There'll be a new technique. | ||
| One of them was attacking from the half guard. | ||
| One of the things that opened up the darts was that a lot of people were attacking from the half guard. | ||
| And they were going with a double underhooks attack. | ||
| And when they were going with a double underhooks attack, a lot of guys were sneaking their arms in And then all of a sudden it became anaconda chokes, darts chokes. | ||
| That's what people were going for. | ||
| It's a whole new subset of the art, basically. | ||
| Yeah, and it was basically to deal with underhooks. | ||
| So if you're on the side of a guy, like maybe in half guard, and a guy has a really strong underhook, You know that if you get your arm under his underhook and pass his neck and connect your arms together, now he's in a bit of trouble. | ||
| You just put yourself in a dangerous situation. | ||
| You're trying to be very offensive, but in allowing me to whizzer your underhook and pass by your neck, now you've allowed me to control your neck. | ||
| Now I've got a position on you. | ||
| And now, especially if you go Japanese necktie, which is one of the new moves that a lot of guys are doing now. | ||
| I've never even heard of that. | ||
| Ooh, I've got to show it to you. | ||
| It's shit. | ||
| It's way more high percentage than a Darce. | ||
| Let me ask you a question, Joe. | ||
| I want to ask you a question about London and what you think of London. | ||
| I think he was going first. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sorry. | ||
|
unidentified
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Go ahead. | |
| I always cut him off on the show. | ||
| I'm always like, no. | ||
| It's hard to do that, right? | ||
| We only have an hour left. | ||
| People think you're rude to cut people off, but you're not meaning to. | ||
| It's just like you have a thought, and if you don't say it, sometimes it escapes, and it gets away from you, because the conversation derivatives. | ||
| Well, I have two, dude. | ||
| I'm sorry, I got two. | ||
| I'll never forgive myself. | ||
| So the first one is, do you think if you got in a time machine and traveled 100 years into the future, and then... | ||
| Walked into a jiu-jitsu academy, do you think you'd still be able to hang? | ||
| I'd get killed. | ||
| Do you think so? | ||
| Yeah, I'm pretty sure. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Yeah, unless they were fucking terrible. | ||
| I'd fuck up some white belts. | ||
| Yeah, I guess so. | ||
| But I think black belts, well, black belts, they're really good black belts. | ||
| I'm a weak black belt, like, objectively. | ||
| Like, I'm strong. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| I have strong jiu-jitsu. | ||
| But as far as, like, high-end black belt guys, I usually get tapped. | ||
| You know, it's just reality. | ||
| You know, I'm not a world champion. | ||
| I don't have enough time to put into that. | ||
| In order, I have much more potential. | ||
| I mean, if I really had the time to train five days a week and get a strength and conditioning, I think I could jump my game up big. | ||
| I think my mind is way more ahead of my body. | ||
| It's just I don't have the time to do it. | ||
| I don't have the time to put in the numbers between having a family and doing stand-up, doing a podcast. | ||
| Traveling for the UFC, it's hard. | ||
| I train as much as I can, and when I train, I give 100%. | ||
| Are you still writing a book? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you feel like you need to get a book out of you? | ||
| No. | ||
| I would like to do it. | ||
| I have a lot of shit already written, and I will eventually put it out. | ||
| But right now, I'm concentrating on my new studio and my stand-up special, which is going to be out at the end of the month, the end of October. | ||
| Is that already in the can? | ||
| Yeah, it's already in the can. | ||
| It's just a matter of the website getting built, which takes a lot longer than you think to have a nice website made. | ||
| So that's being made and then just to get the infrastructure in place, distributed. | ||
| I found out somewhere along the line that when I do too many things at the same time, I don't have any fun. | ||
| And everything suffers? | ||
| Everything suffers. | ||
| The family and everything. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I won't let that suffer. | ||
| So the things that suffer are other aspects of my career. | ||
| So I limit the amount of shit that I do. | ||
| So once this stand-up special's out and I can not think about that, boom, then I'm diving full into writing. | ||
| Writing the book. | ||
| Because I already have to balance it out with writing stand-up, which right now is more important because my special's about to drop and I have a whole new hour that I've basically put together between the time I did the special and now. | ||
| What do you want from your stand-up in five years from now? | ||
| Do you want to see bigger audiences? | ||
| Do you ever have goals like that? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I'm super happy. | ||
| If nothing changed at all other than the way it is right now, if it just maintained, I'd be the happiest person on earth. | ||
| I have the greatest audiences in the history of the art form. | ||
| It's the craziest thing ever. | ||
| I wish you guys could come to see some of these crowds because they're crazy. | ||
| And it's mostly podcast fans. | ||
| It's mostly people who don't just resonate with the idea of comedy but resonate with the idea that there's someone out there that's also confused by all this. | ||
| And there's someone out there that's being honest about all of it. | ||
| And those people, I've sort of found a huge amount of them because of this podcast. | ||
| And I don't desire anything more than that. | ||
| Just having all the people come up to me after shows, all the people that tell me they've lost weight, all the people that tell me they've got their shit together, that they're living their life like they're the hero in their own story. | ||
| I love that analogy. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| That's a great way to think of it. | ||
| And it should be like the blockbuster moment in the movie every day. | ||
| You should be saving the girl. | ||
| You can do that. | ||
| You could literally do what the hero would do. | ||
| It doesn't mean rescue babies out of burning buildings. | ||
| It means don't be a cunt. | ||
| Figure out a way to get your shit together. | ||
| Don't be someone who's just slacking off and jerking off while behind you is a mountain of work to do. | ||
| Get your stuff done. | ||
| Do it. | ||
| Be someone who you would admire. | ||
| And that's something that I had to learn on my own slowly over a long period of time. | ||
| But in reiterating that on the podcast, just like in teaching jiu-jitsu, it's become very concrete in my head. | ||
| You know, I have another very deep and meaningful question I want your input on. | ||
| In fact, me and my jiu-jitsu buddies debate about this all the time. | ||
| And some of them want your input, which is, what do you think would win in a fight out of a silverback gorilla and a Bengal tiger? | ||
| Tiger. | ||
| Tiger would kill that gorilla. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Gorilla wouldn't even have a chance. | ||
| Claws. | ||
| See, I say gorilla, man. | ||
| You know, a gorilla can rip a car tire in half with its bare hands, right? | ||
| Good luck with that shit, where that tiger's got your back and is choking your neck off it. | ||
| I refuse to debate this. | ||
| I don't think the tiger would fuck with the gorilla because it's not going to be easy. | ||
| I think it's going to be a struggle. | ||
| That's why gorillas nest on the ground. | ||
| Gorillas don't give a fuck. | ||
| They're 500 pounds and they're 5'4". | ||
| They have no natural predators. | ||
| They're so strong. | ||
| We can't even wrap our heads around how strong they are. | ||
| Because chimps are strong as fuck, and gorillas would rape a chimp with their little one-inch dick. | ||
| Gorillas have tiny dicks. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| Because they're so dominant, they don't have any pressure from other males. | ||
| And the women, the female gorillas, are so in line with how everything's supposed to be. | ||
| They're not sluts at all. | ||
| Female chimps are whores. | ||
| They will fuck anybody who comes around. | ||
| And male chimps know this. | ||
| So male chimps have giant testicles. | ||
| And the reason why they have giant testicles is they always got to be ready to go with a big fat load for one of these dirty bitches. | ||
| Dude, I'm so glad we came on the show. | ||
| That's a part of the chimp world. | ||
| And all animals that live in promiscuous societies, they all have large testicles, including human beings. | ||
| There's a direct correlation between the size of a man's testicles and whether or not... | ||
| The promiscuity of the women. | ||
| Yeah, the promiscuity of the women in your environment. | ||
| When are you going to Africa on safari? | ||
| I know you always said you're scared of Africa. | ||
| There's no real safari, dude. | ||
| You can go to Botswana. | ||
| Yeah, but you know where you go, dude? | ||
| You go to these wildlife sort of containment areas where, you know, everybody gets in a... | ||
|
unidentified
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You can go actually out there. | |
| Yeah, that's a good way to die. | ||
| South Africa, you can go to proper safaris. | ||
| In Botswana, you can go in the middle of nowhere. | ||
| Yeah, you can also get eaten by a lion. | ||
| There was a whole fucking story recently about these two female lions that broke into a house and pulled a guy out of the shower. | ||
| He was showering. | ||
| He was naked showering and he got killed by two female lions. | ||
| The females do all the hunting. | ||
| The males just sit around. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, but dudes are crazy. | |
| Could you wrap your head around it? | ||
| So you're not going to Africa? | ||
| Bar of soap. | ||
| And you hear something. | ||
| You open the fucking curtain. | ||
| There's two lions in the bathroom with you. | ||
| Two female lions. | ||
| And they just put the beating on you, son. | ||
| Rip you to shreds. | ||
| Drag you out. | ||
| Okay, what's the better way to go? | ||
| Africa, basically what I'm trying to say is that Africa can suck my dick, okay? | ||
| I'm not going to where all the scary animals live. | ||
| So, Joe, if you have to choose a way to die, would you rather be in the water with a great white or land with a lion? | ||
| No, you're not going to one-if me into a fucking heart attack. | ||
| I'm fucking scared of all of them, man. | ||
| I'm scared of tigers. | ||
| I'm scared of sharks. | ||
| I'm scared of everything, dude. | ||
| I'm scared of all that shit. | ||
| Joe, by the way, that ancient alien documentary thing that you tweeted, did you watch the whole thing? | ||
| Yes, I watched all three hours. | ||
| Yeah, I should give that guy props. | ||
| There's a video that I tweeted yesterday. | ||
| Today is October the 2nd, and if you go to the October the 1st feed, I tweeted this video where this guy, he must have like massive autism, because this guy went and debunked every single point that ancient aliens has ever put forth about how humans could have never built this! | ||
| This is impossible! | ||
| He fucking stomped a dirty mud hole in every fucking show that they've ever done. | ||
| And he did it. | ||
| It's over three hours long. | ||
| It's on YouTube, and there's no question... | ||
| No question. | ||
| No question. | ||
| You watch it, you're like, okay, yeah. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| It said, just go to Ancient Aliens Debunked, and you want full movie fixed audio. | ||
| That's the version. | ||
| The other one had a little weird glitch in the audio, but it's still... | ||
| You can still watch it. | ||
| It's still excellent. | ||
| And it's called... | ||
| The guy's YouTube name is... | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Verse by Verse... | ||
| Bt. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| It's one word. | ||
| Verse by verse Bt. | ||
| That is his YouTube page. | ||
| And it's a brilliant job. | ||
| Whoever this guy is, thank you very much. | ||
| Because what you did is you cleared up so much confusion. | ||
| And for me, there was a lot of stuff that I really didn't understand. | ||
| There's still some stuff that hasn't been explained. | ||
| There's some of the things about Pumapunku and the way they... | ||
| Move stones and fit them in. | ||
| And I think it's very interesting that this guy was able to find so many pieces of evidence that point to how they did certain things and explain how they built obelisks and giant stones and show ones that were in the process of being made when they abandoned so you can clearly see how they did it. | ||
| Fascinating. | ||
| And also he had some brilliant insight on the construction of the pyramids that I had never heard before about the theory of the internal ramp. | ||
| Because the question has always been how they place the stones. | ||
| How do they move them into place? | ||
| And they actually did some sort of a... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Fascinating. | ||
| It's like an x-ray of some radio wave graph of the pyramid. | ||
| And you can actually see the internal ramp. | ||
| And they didn't understand what that was when they first made this reading of the actual structure of the pyramid of Giza. | ||
| Until this internal ramp theory came into play, and this guy examines the internal ramp theory and shows all the evidence for it, including areas of the pyramid where at certain points you could actually go in through the side of the pyramid, there's a hole, and you can go in and see where there's all this space in there, and most likely that's how it was built. | ||
| What does Graham Hancock say? | ||
| That's what I want to know. | ||
| Well, either way, listen, this ancient aliens debunking, what it does is explain how all these things were done. | ||
| What it doesn't explain is how they figured this out. | ||
| What it doesn't explain is what kind of intense mathematics were involved in the equations of 2,300,000 stones, each of them cut so perfectly that they meet exactly in a point at the top. | ||
| That's trippy. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| And more importantly, it doesn't explain why they did these things. | ||
| It doesn't explain that, and it doesn't explain where they got the knowledge from. | ||
| It explains how they did it. | ||
| And how they did it was, certainly, it took a long time. | ||
| It certainly was incredibly difficult. | ||
| It certainly required master craftsmen and builders and skillful labor. | ||
| But the knowledge to construct it is what's really fascinating because that is what Graham Hancock points to. | ||
| What he believes is backed by real evidence and that evidence is that there was a very sophisticated culture that existed all over the world somewhere around 10,000 BC and that something Probably happened to those people and we had to start a lot of things over again. | ||
| And coincidentally, this time period that Graham Hancock points to, which is about 10,000 plus BC, is the exact same time period that the most recent discoveries of glass, impact glass, from meteor showers has been discovered at the same layer of dirt All over the world. | ||
| So scientists are absolutely convinced, and this is fairly recently, that there was incredibly destructive meteor showers around 12,000 years ago. | ||
| And they found these in France. | ||
| They found this glass in the Middle East. | ||
| And when they do soil samples, it's all on the same, I believe it's called The same strata, I think that's how they describe it. | ||
| The same area where they know, the way to do the calculation stuff, how old it is when they do carbon testing on that area. | ||
| And they believe that somewhere 12,000 years ago, that's when the ice age ended. | ||
| That's when... | ||
| All this mass extinction. | ||
| It's all around the same time of woolly mammoths and saber-toothed tigers. | ||
| It's all in the same sort of area and they could all coincide. | ||
| So what we have in ancient Egypt is not simply an amazing culture that in 2500 BC built the pyramids. | ||
| It might very well be that 10,000 BC they built the Sphinx and 10,000 BC they had Massive stone structures already in place back when we thought that people were just hunter-gatherers. | ||
| That's the basis of Graham Hancock's thoughts on it. | ||
| And every day he's being proven correct. | ||
| The more people discover about ancient civilizations, the more Graham Hancock is correct. | ||
| He's a powerful man. | ||
| We were in awe of that. | ||
| Just a lovely human being, too. | ||
| Just a great guy. | ||
| Just exudes it. | ||
| He's like the perfect representative, in my opinion, of what Can be accomplished through psychedelics and thinking and just his take on his own work and his take on the difficulty in trying to express these very controversial ideas. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's very brave. | |
| He's very honest. | ||
| I don't know if you watched the show with us, but he talked about the 24 years that he was smoking cannabis and how the ayahuasca told him. | ||
| And he just dropped that right on us in the episode and just like... | ||
| Man, I have a lot of respect for someone who can just be that honest about themselves. | ||
| That's the kind of guy you want running your country, man. | ||
| Yeah, he's no longer a writer or an archaeologist. | ||
| He was like a great mind. | ||
| He's a great man. | ||
| And he changed the way I looked at history. | ||
| That book, Fingerprints of the Gods, changed the way I look at history. | ||
| And I'm pretty convinced now, especially due to the most recent geological evidence and the discoveries of things like Gobekli Tepe, which is this 14,000-year-old massive compound of huge 9-foot-tall stone columns. | ||
| This really, or excuse me, is it 19? | ||
| I think it might be 19 foot tall still in columns. | ||
| It's got to be bigger than nine because nine wouldn't. | ||
| But it is still amazing because 14,000 years ago people were supposed to be hunter-gatherers. | ||
| There wasn't supposed to be any sort of civilization like this. | ||
| We're supposed to be living in fucking teepees and shit. | ||
| Then he's showing that there's these huge stone structures, by the way, which they've only uncovered less than 4% of, I believe, because it's a painstaking process of Because, you know, they've got to do it with toothbrushes and shit. | ||
| They've got to sift through the sand and find bone fragments and pottery fragments and things along those lines. | ||
| But what they do know about Gobekli Tepe is that it was covered up 14,000 years ago. | ||
| Covered up. | ||
| Purposely covered up. | ||
| They literally buried a whole fucking city 14,000 years ago. | ||
| Intentionally, maybe. | ||
| Intentionally. | ||
| They did intentionally. | ||
| They know they did. | ||
| Because the type of landfill that they use, they filled in the area. | ||
| They're convinced of this. | ||
| I don't know how they can figure that out, but they're pretty much in agreement with that. | ||
| Do you ever want to go to those sites? | ||
| I mean, do you ever want to go to the pyramids and check them out? | ||
| I've been to Chichen Itza. | ||
| That's the only place I've ever been to. | ||
| South America. | ||
| That's Mexico. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mexico, okay. | |
| Yeah, it's near Cancun. | ||
| Fucking amazing, man. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| It feels different when you're there. | ||
| You can feel there's something about it. | ||
| But freaky beyond freaky. | ||
| Just to think that you're walking in this area, and as I'm looking around, I remember just standing there and just thinking that at one point in time, this was a football field, and they were playing that crazy game where they kicked this ball through a hole, which devolved to they believe that they might have played it with human heads at one point in time. | ||
| And just the one area where they have the sacrificial altar where they would kill someone and cut their heart out and throw the heart down the stairs. | ||
| I mean, they had it. | ||
| You could go there. | ||
| You could touch that altar. | ||
| You could walk up this stone staircase. | ||
| It would feel really negative. | ||
| It feels weird. | ||
| It's like these guys went... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's dark. | |
| Hancock's new book is about, his new fictional piece is about that whole period and he's, oh my gosh, he's talked about it on the show and we were like, it talks about 80,000 people being slaughtered in four days for ceremonial purposes and he's, I was just like, oh my god, let me buy that. | ||
| The story was terrifying. | ||
| 80,000 people they slaughtered? | ||
| In four days and he said just the rivers of blood and the human sacrifice, I guess they would fatten people up in pens for days and weeks on end in order to sacrifice for like a brand new monument and just The concept of you being there fattened up with your family when you know you're just going to be used to have your heart pulled out of your body and shown. | ||
| Human beings are capable of some fucked up shit, dude. | ||
| And the crazy thing is, it's like, how did they go from the people that were so incredibly sophisticated that they built these... | ||
| Structures that were aligned to the cosmos and when they were aligned to they directly correlate a lot of them do with constellations like they understood the alignment of certain stars they understood the prediction of lunar eclipses like a thousand years in the future they had figured out so they had this incredible knowledge of astronomy and they they had figured out and and recorded a lot of like really incredible shit and yet they were killing 80,000 fucking people in a couple of days. | ||
| Light and dark always go together right? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| I mean, I feel like it's... | ||
| I've been talking about this lately on stage, too, about the real problem with the nuclear bombs, that the guy who pressed the button never... | ||
| didn't build it, doesn't understand it, didn't create it, didn't invent nuclear explosions, didn't figure out how to split the atom, didn't construct the whole piece. | ||
| He doesn't... | ||
| Didn't see what radiation victims look like. | ||
| All he has to do is come along and press this button. | ||
| Oppenheimer, who worked on the Manhattan Project in New Mexico, he was... | ||
| He had big moral dilemmas about creating the atom bomb. | ||
| And he later died from cancer. | ||
| I think it was throat cancer from being radioactive when he was working on it. | ||
| But he really troubled his whole life. | ||
| Yeah, well, do you remember what he said? | ||
| He said when they tested the first nuclear bomb, the very first explosion, he quoted the Bhagavad Gita. | ||
| He said, I am become death, destroyer of worlds. | ||
| That's what he said, like, at the first, because he knew what he had done. | ||
| He's like, oh, shit. | ||
| He could have just slacked off for probably a few nights of work and not created it. | ||
| Well, see, the people who can create it would not be the people who created it. | ||
| The people who can create it would be the people who go... | ||
| You know, if you just understand how atoms work, if you got in there and split this and did this, you shouldn't do it. | ||
| But if you did, what you could do is you could fucking have the incredible destructive power. | ||
| Don't do it. | ||
| But if you wanted to do it, that's what you would do. | ||
| It's like the warrior or the general, the military man who would drop a fucking atomic bomb on a building on a city is way too fucking stupid to ever figure out how to make that thing. | ||
| It's like the mentality to figure out how to make... | ||
| An atomic bomb is completely different than the metallic that you would just drop one out of a plane. | ||
| Do you think Ahmadinejad, if he had a nuclear bomb, would launch out on Israel? | ||
| Or do you think even Ahmadinejad knows, I don't want to be the guy that does this destructive act? | ||
| This is what I think. | ||
| I think that when you have nuclear power or any sort of mass destructive power, it's a lot like the military equivalent of winning the lottery. | ||
| You didn't really earn that. | ||
| You just have it. | ||
| You just have it and you're gonna spend it. | ||
| And you're gonna spend it with no regard. | ||
| You're gonna spend it not knowing the consequences. | ||
| You're a child with a grown-up toy. | ||
| You haven't developed this thing. | ||
| You've just got access to it. | ||
| The same way some asshole who doesn't really understand cars Can somehow or another just go into a Chevy dealership and buy a Corvette ZR1 with 648 horsepower and just fucking stomp on it and slam it right into a tree? | ||
| That moron should have never had access to that kind of power or never have access to that kind of ability to move so quickly. | ||
| with his own decision making, he can decide whether or not to run the red lights and whether or not to just drive his car right into a fucking mall parking lot and smash into cars. | ||
| You can do anything you want when you have a Corvette. | ||
| You die, but if you could choose to just drive into traffic, if you're fucking crazy. | ||
| There's something weird about our ability in contrast to what we understand or what we have earned, the power that we've earned. | ||
| Like if you build a bow and arrow, okay, if you're a tribesman, you're out there in the woods, you build a bow and arrow, you craft it, and you develop your aim, and then you use it, and you hunt and kill an animal. | ||
| I mean, that's fair trade. | ||
| I mean, you've earned all of those steps. | ||
| You've really earned all those. | ||
| But if you drop a nuclear bomb in a lake and then start pulling out fish, we've got all the fish we need! | ||
| You're just some fucking asshole with a nuclear bomb. | ||
| You can't build one of those on your own. | ||
| That's why I've been told the best war leaders or the best generals are the ones who've come up through the ranks because they've seen combat. | ||
| They know what it means to send people onto a battlefield. | ||
| Whereas the guy who just went to West Point and never fired a shot in his life, it's easy for him to say, like, send in the troops because he doesn't know the direct consequences of that, right? | ||
| I think that's one of the reasons why they like people that get into office that aren't like Wesley Clark or aren't like John McCain. | ||
| People that... | ||
| You know, essentially they're chicken hogs. | ||
| Guys like George Bush, guys like Dick Cheney. | ||
| The ones who are the biggest warmongers are the ones who never experienced him personally. | ||
| You know, I think a guy like John McCain would be far more reluctant to use a military strategy knowing that there's boys out there that could have been just like him. | ||
| You know, a guy like Wesley Clark would certainly be far more reluctant to take, you know, the lives of these young soldiers for granted because at one point in time that was him. | ||
| Colin Powell was really good about that in the first Iraqi invasion because he had spent so long in Vietnam and he'd seen the mission creep there and like how it lasted forever and ever and he was really adamant. | ||
| It's just let's go in and get the hell out. | ||
| What's mission creep, Brian? | ||
| It's when you don't have a defined outcome of a mission. | ||
| You're not like we're gonna go in and do X, Y, and Z. We're gonna go in and wait until there's peace or we're gonna defeat terrorism and it's like there's no specific end to that mission. | ||
| It's happened in Afghanistan. | ||
| It's happened in Iraq. | ||
| Yeah, that's the idea that we're slowly empowering our bases out there and building up and that's what we're doing right now with Iran. | ||
| What we're doing with Iran is we're slowly moving battleships into that area and it's getting pretty scary. | ||
| Iran's a crazy unique case. | ||
| There's a website I want you to check out sometime called stratfor.com And they're really big into this thing called geopolitics, which is basically every nation is built on kind of their geography as well. | ||
| And they just talk about how Iraq's built up in a very mountainous way. | ||
| And it's in no one's interest to go in there because it's such a mess to do that. | ||
| And I hope we don't anyways because we don't really have any business doing that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You mean Iran? | |
| No, sorry, Iran. | ||
| Yeah, of course, Iran. | ||
| Yeah, it's crazy. | ||
| We don't have business doing it. | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| They certainly shouldn't develop nuclear arms. | ||
| Who knows if they even are. | ||
| Who knows if they even are trying. | ||
| I assume they probably are, but it could be propaganda. | ||
| It could be just one of those things where we just need that area, that path to bring our oil through. | ||
| And that's supposedly what this whole fucking thing is about. | ||
| It's a great trump card. | ||
| I mean, North Korea has used this threat of a nuclear device to keep them alive for like 20 years, and they keep bargaining. | ||
| They're like, we're going to bargain this month, and then they don't. | ||
| But it's kept them kind of relevant, just having this one weapon. | ||
| So I think that's why countries want it. | ||
| The whole world's a mess. | ||
| I mean, real fuck. | ||
| It's a bit frustrating sometimes. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| Leave more podcasts. | ||
| Yeah, well, believe it or not, that sounds stupid, right? | ||
| Like, boy, how grandiose are we? | ||
| We think we're going to change the world? | ||
| The only way you can change the world is to influence young people. | ||
| So that the young people who go through the ranks don't imitate all the crusty old fuckheads that have been running things in these archaic ways because that's just the way things always were done. | ||
| And communication is super important. | ||
| Communication and access to information. | ||
| This is a different world. | ||
| This is not a world where you can bullshit people quite as easily. | ||
| Like if your ideas were going to the Iranian public and they listen to your podcast And similarly, maybe if there was a crazy Iranian podcast and we could listen to their leaders, I just think communicating would get us at least in the right direction. | ||
| Well, I bet my podcast does reach a lot of Iranians. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I bet it does. | |
| And I bet there's a lot of Iranians who have their own podcast, just like London Real. | ||
| I gotta assume that this is not gonna stop here. | ||
| I think what's going on with podcasts and especially with the free ability to distribute information and to communicate, not even distribute information, but just even a talk on the internet to discuss things, to review things. | ||
| It's never existed like this before. | ||
| There's never been a time in human history where A guy could be doing something like my podcast in LA, and you guys in London could be listening to it when you're going jogging. | ||
| I mean, where the fuck has that been apart? | ||
| We get emails from people in Denmark. | ||
| Taiwan. | ||
| Us too, yeah. | ||
| Five years ago, we couldn't have done that. | ||
| It's cheap. | ||
| It's not hard to do. | ||
| It's not like we had to spend billions of dollars and put satellites in orbit and figure out how to get our message to people and it goes over on a fucking horseback and you've got to decipher it. | ||
| You've got to hire a local guy who speaks the language. | ||
| No, it's fucking easy as shit, man. | ||
| It's really easy. | ||
| And this is not going to change. | ||
| I think that... | ||
| You know what the crazy thing is? | ||
| The internet was originally the Department of Defense project and now it's going to bite them in the ass, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's going to... | |
| But it's not. | ||
| We need them still. | ||
| We need them still. | ||
| We just don't need them as a daddy. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| No man needs another man as a fucking daddy. | ||
| You know, what we need is camaraderie and we need community. | ||
| We need the government to rethink what they really are. | ||
| They are one of us. | ||
| We're all in this together. | ||
| It's not like the Stanford prison studies where they, you know, took... | ||
| College kids and they had some of them become guards and some become prisoners and you immediately see corruption and abuse. | ||
| It doesn't have to be prisoners and guards. | ||
| It shouldn't be, but that's what it is. | ||
| We have a government that's set up that's not a part of our community, that's not one of us. | ||
| We have instead people that are trying to tell us what to do or will lock you up. | ||
| And they suck at what they do. | ||
| They suck. | ||
| They're incompetent, and they're shitty at their job, so they like to hide. | ||
| They like to hide information. | ||
| They like to make it really hard for you to get a hold of anything that shows that they suck at their job. | ||
| And when you bust them sucking at their job, and you distribute that information, you become an enemy of the state, like WikiLeaks. | ||
| I mean, stop and think about what WikiLeaks has done. | ||
| WikiLeaks, in releasing that collateral murder video, let people know how calloused War can make regular good Americans and turn soldiers into people that don't care that innocent people got gunned down in the street and that make jokes and talk lightly about machine gunning vans filled with people, including children. | ||
| I mean, this is fact. | ||
| You watch that video. | ||
| It makes you feel bad for the guys who are shooting. | ||
| It makes you feel bad for the people on the ground. | ||
| The whole thing makes you feel bad because the whole thing is just off. | ||
| It's just wrong and crazy and not what we want when we think about the United States of America in a proud way. | ||
| We think of ourselves as being a noble country, a country filled with people that are rugged individuals that figured out a way to escape from the monarchy of England and come over here and do it on our own. | ||
| And this time we're going to have freedom and we're going to have the Constitution and we're going to make sure that we have rules in place so that corruption can... | ||
| And then you see just massive amounts of corruption. | ||
| And we were there 40, 50 years ago. | ||
| We had a guest on two weeks ago, and we talked about Islam. | ||
| He's a Muslim guy who lives in Britain. | ||
| He's from Pakistan. | ||
| And he was like, Brian, when I grew up in the early 80s, late 70s, I was like, we had all these wonderful ideas of what the U.S., it was something good. | ||
| Maybe we were also anti-Soviet at the time. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| We also didn't have the Internet. | ||
| That's a big part of it. | ||
| We didn't know. | ||
| No one knew about... | ||
| You think people didn't know what we were doing? | ||
| Operation Northwoods, man. | ||
| That was in the 1960s. | ||
| In the 1960s, they were going to blow up airplanes and they were going to throw bombs and attack Guantanamo Bay. | ||
| And they were going to blame it on Cubans so that we could go to war with Cuba. | ||
| And that's a fact. | ||
| The Freedom of Information Act has released all the documents. | ||
| It wasn't a pipe dream. | ||
| It was signed by the Joint Chiefs of Staff. | ||
| But do we have a less favorable view globally now, America, than, say, 30 years ago? | ||
| Yes, because of the internet. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And because of the Iraq war. | ||
| The Iraq war in Afghanistan. | ||
| And the subsequent damage. | ||
| And then, of course, in other countries with the drone attacks. | ||
| And look, I don't know how much of a threat Al-Qaeda is. | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| I'm not privy to that information. | ||
| They don't let us. | ||
| We don't get access to... | ||
| I don't know how many different attacks on America they've... | ||
| They haven't had a second successful attack since 9-11, which is crazy to think about. | ||
| It is crazy. | ||
| But it's also crazy that anybody wants to attack us in the first place. | ||
| Why are they mad? | ||
| And with George Bush, the only nonsense we ever got is, they hate our freedom. | ||
| And you're like, you motherfucker. | ||
| That's it? | ||
| They hate our freedom? | ||
| I always wonder if America as a sovereign entity, if it was actually attacked, which it's never really been on its own soil, except for 9-11, but that was, okay, two planes and a building. | ||
| All right, Hawaii. | ||
| All right, guys, you're killing me. | ||
| Would everyone bond together? | ||
| Or as you said earlier, is it a nation that's fragmented? | ||
| I mean, if Louisiana got attacked, would LA people be like, well, fuck you guys? | ||
| Or would you get drafted and sign your kids up to go and die to defend those borders? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a good question. | |
| Well, after 9-11, what happened here was everywhere you go, you would see flags, American flags. | ||
| Within the first couple months after 9-11, everyone's car had a flag on it. | ||
| Yeah, Manhattan, too. | ||
| I was there. | ||
| It was trippy as fuck. | ||
| It was fucking nuts, man. | ||
| Especially in New York where everyone's an asshole. | ||
| You talk about it. | ||
| It's one place where people are just, but they were friendly all of a sudden, right? | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| In a creepy way? | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| It was real weird. | ||
| I remember going to New York. | ||
| We went maybe a year after September 11th, and it was still reverberating. | ||
| It was the ripples and aftershocks of 9-11. | ||
| People were way nicer than they'd ever been before. | ||
| Way more friendly, way more humble, way more respectful for law enforcement and firefighters. | ||
| They were really respectful to law enforcement. | ||
| But it didn't last. | ||
| But it's not human for it to last. | ||
| Maybe we need to look at that on a global scale for us to pull together as a species. | ||
| Maybe an asteroid does need to hit the earth and a quarter of the population has to die so we all go, fuck in hell, we need each other. | ||
| We've got to stop being cunts to each other. | ||
| It's unfortunate that in this model of civilization it doesn't seem like there's any other way for us to learn other than shit falling apart. | ||
| It's not like we can just look at things and say, hey, listen, Obviously, we're doing this wrong and we're going to have to figure out how to do it right. | ||
| And in the process of figuring out how to do things right, there's a lot of shit that's going to go away. | ||
| And one of the things is people who have billions of dollars. | ||
| You're not going to have billions of dollars anymore because your money is nonsense. | ||
| Your money is basically a bunch of fucking things that are in a bank somewhere. | ||
| And instead, what we've got to seek to do is we've got to seek to have a resource-based economy, a real resource-based economy. | ||
| Then we've got to figure out who owns these resources and how should these resources really be distributed? | ||
| Should somebody be able to camp in front of a diamond hole in the earth and say, this is my fucking hole! | ||
| These are my diamonds! | ||
| It's like John Fresco's Long Lost Sun. | ||
| Do you really own those diamonds? | ||
| Do you really own that gold? | ||
| Do you really own that oil well? | ||
| Who's to say that these resources are yours? | ||
| Should it not be that the resources are what powers our economy? | ||
| Should it not be that the resources instead are what powers our government and that no one really owns them and that they're distributed to all the people that claim the earth as their home? | ||
| And that sounds crazy, hippie, nonsense, socialist. | ||
| But the reality is, you shouldn't be able to fucking build a giant machine and park it 10 miles off Louisiana in the middle of the ocean and just suck billions of dollars out of the earth and then not give any of that back. | ||
| And then say, this is all ours. | ||
| We're getting all right. | ||
| We're sucking it all. | ||
| You're draining the earth like a giant mosquito bat vampire thing. | ||
| No accountability. | ||
| When you put Not only no accountability, you're making money off the earth. | ||
| Billions of dollars. | ||
| And you're making it off the earth in international waters. | ||
| Or you're making it in national waters. | ||
| Or you're making it in a bay. | ||
| Who the fuck is... | ||
| Why is that yours? | ||
| Like, what's yours? | ||
| Because you got a contract to build this giant sucking machine. | ||
| And where's that money going? | ||
| That's a lot of money. | ||
| You can control a lot of shit with that money. | ||
| You're making billions and billions and billions of dollars off of oil money. | ||
| Man. | ||
| Man, you know what kind of fucking power you have to buy lobbyists? | ||
| You know what kind of power you have to influence legislation? | ||
| You have a lot of fucking power. | ||
| Imagine if you could zero out all the bank accounts in the world. | ||
| Look at that scene in Fight Club at the end. | ||
| It is. | ||
| And when we had the financial crisis in London in 2008, apparently RBS, one of the banks at Royal Bank of Scotland, they were one day away from shutting off the ATM machines. | ||
| And they were saying, if you've ever thought of a food riot, if you can think of people not being able to touch their money... | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Apparently it was just, yeah. | ||
| I mean, that would be some mayhem. | ||
| Yeah, that would be some mayhem. | ||
| And, you know, it's happened in little small doses with the collapse of, in America, it's happened a bunch. | ||
| There's a savings and loan collapse that George Bush's son was involved in that was a huge scandal that, you know, cost people millions and millions of dollars. | ||
| A lot of people's personal fortunes were completely erased. | ||
| Their entire life, Vinnie Pazienza, the boxer, he lost hundreds of thousands of dollars. | ||
| Just gone! | ||
| Disappeared! | ||
| Sorry we don't have it anymore. | ||
| And that's what a part of this financial bailout was in this country. | ||
| The most recent one was trying to avoid something like that happening with all these big banks failing. | ||
| But at the end of the day, if you're going to have a society that is well-designed, you can't use an infrastructure that is not well-designed and maintain it. | ||
| The structure that we have now is so fucked up and corrupt and crazy. | ||
| The cracks are starting to show as well. | ||
| Yeah, it's like having a giant building made out of cardboard. | ||
| Instead of just acknowledging it, you're just throwing duct tape up everywhere it starts to separate. | ||
| We've got to figure out a way for it to be a society that makes sense. | ||
| The only way that's going to happen is you've got to restructure finance. | ||
| You've got to restructure what money really is. | ||
| You've got to restructure how much money and how much people get paid to do certain jobs. | ||
| Most people are fucking slaves. | ||
| They're just slaves with a... | ||
| They have a loose collar on. | ||
| They're slaves because of... | ||
| And, you know, by the way, that's your choice. | ||
| You cannot do that. | ||
| You can... | ||
| I agree with all that. | ||
| You know, you cannot be burdened by, you know, a home and mortgage and finances and, you know, car payments and all that stuff. | ||
| But you know what would really be better? | ||
| How about if you do actually work all day, you get paid enough so that you could save money and you don't have to worry about shit. | ||
| You get paid enough so that you don't have to worry about being constantly in debt. | ||
| The idea of owning a house shouldn't be out of someone's reach. | ||
| It should be fairly fucking acquirable. | ||
| That would make a lot more sense. | ||
| We just live in this really corrupt system of loans and interest and Just nonsense, number shuffling and craziness. | ||
| I just don't know how we're going to get there without blood everywhere. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| I don't know either. | ||
| Or massive enlightenment. | ||
| And that massive enlightenment, look, something happened for sure during the 60s. | ||
| And a lot of people attribute it to psychedelic drugs. | ||
| The music changed, the culture changed, the society changed. | ||
| I listened to The Doors recently. | ||
| That's a big leap from Buddy Holly, man. | ||
| Something happened. | ||
| And that was a media forum back then. | ||
| I was on Nick the other day. | ||
| How do you spread a message without the internet? | ||
| You do it over music and you listen to Morrison's lyrics and you're like, oh shit. | ||
| Changed kids. | ||
| Changed kids. | ||
| That's one of the big things. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| The closest thing to Joe back in the day in the 60s and 70s is you know that Black Sabbath song, War Pigs? | ||
| Red Van, can you pull that up? | ||
| Just a message through the music. | ||
| But you're always talking about get the kids to change first. | ||
| Is that your only... | ||
| Everybody, man. | ||
| Everybody that I talk to that comes up to me and says, Dude, this podcast has changed my life. | ||
| You changed the way I look at things, changed the way I approach my life. | ||
| I realize that this is not a permanent experience. | ||
| This is supposed to be a ride, an enjoyable time, a finite time that I can manage. | ||
| And if I just stick to a certain amount of principles... | ||
| A certain series of principles, rather. | ||
| Go towards what you love. | ||
| Actually do what you want to do. | ||
| Be nice to people. | ||
| Have a close-knit circle of friends. | ||
| Love them as if you love yourself. | ||
| To really move in that direction is possible for all of us. | ||
| And that's the way you change the world. | ||
| The way you change the world is you change the way people look at things so that nobody wants to be the big cunt in charge. | ||
| Because the big cunt in charge leaves a shit life. | ||
| We live in a world where when kids get crazy and they make a lot of noise and they're fucking hard to deal with, people give these kids antidepressants. | ||
| They give them Ritalin. | ||
| They give them all kinds of different crazy shit. | ||
| Then when they get to be adults, then they're even more fucked up and sad and disconnected with their shitty lives. | ||
| So then we give them antidepressants. | ||
| We give them more things to help them get over this little mental hump. | ||
| Then their dick stops working. | ||
| What do they do? | ||
| Well, we come up, we got Cialis and Viagra and Levitra and all sorts of pills that make your dick hard. | ||
| Well, you know, this stuff isn't helping me anymore. | ||
| Oh, we got some other stuff that you add on to your antidepressant. | ||
| You take this as well as that, and this is really going to put you over the top, and that's really going to make you happy. | ||
| And we constantly keep... | ||
| Looking for some sort of a chemical fix for depression and for the lack of good feelings in this life. | ||
| And I think that there's certainly people that have mental imbalances and they are helped by pharmaceutical drugs, by antidepressants. | ||
| But that notwithstanding, there's also people... | ||
| That are getting a very bad signal from their life because they're living a life that is non-harmonious. | ||
| It's not fun. | ||
| It's not filled with love and joy. | ||
| They're not pursuing their true interests. | ||
| And everybody's interest is fucking different. | ||
| And our natural state is to be joyful and calm and happy. | ||
| And if you look at all those stories of when people encounter most indigenous cultures, Everyone's cool. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| There's also people that love to be depressed. | ||
| There's people that revel in depression, take pride in depression. | ||
| Unfortunately, people that have criticized me for talking about depression. | ||
| Even on my own message board, some fucking dummies wrote some stupid shit. | ||
| It was so poorly thought out listening. | ||
| Does anybody get furious when you hear Joe talk about depression? | ||
| Because if you understand... | ||
| You don't think I've been depressed before, stupid? | ||
| Everybody's been depressed before. | ||
| People don't know that you have, though, because you're always so positive. | ||
| Well, it took a long time to get positive. | ||
| I've had really awkward social moments, really dark moments of terrible feelings that lasted months and months. | ||
| We all have. | ||
| Was there anything in particular that got you through it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pussy! | |
| That helps, certainly. | ||
| But then that can be a source of even more depression if you get a hold of a bad one. | ||
| What do you tell people? | ||
| People are always asking you for answers. | ||
| I know you don't want to be the guy. | ||
| You're like, I'm not the guy trying to tell you answers. | ||
| Well, I can tell you what I've learned. | ||
| What do you tell people? | ||
| You can never tell people what to do, but you can tell people what helped you. | ||
| And you can tell people what has aided you and where you were going wrong and how you saw it and corrected it. | ||
| A big part of life has got to be the way you interact with human beings, the happiness that you derive from friendships, the happiness that you derive from doing things together, and also from creating things. | ||
| Whether it's creating carpentry or art. | ||
| We are some weird animal that constantly seeks to use the imagination to make physical things manifest themselves. | ||
| Whether it's physical things in terms of something you can read online or something you can watch as in a video podcast. | ||
| Whatever it is, we have this massive amount of satisfaction that we get out of making things. | ||
| Because we're some weird fucking bee thing. | ||
| We're some weird insect that's making a hive. | ||
| We're just making this super complicated hive that's connected by billions and billions of other little fucking weird pink monkeys. | ||
| Or brown monkeys and black monkeys and yellow monkeys. | ||
| And we're all putting it all together. | ||
| And we don't know what it is. | ||
| We all are responsible for our own little piece of this crazy machine called culture and civilization. | ||
| We don't know what the fuck we're doing. | ||
| But clearly we're all working together in some weird form. | ||
| And you can accept that and you can choose to be depressed. | ||
| You can choose to live an ineffective, inefficient, non-harmonious life because it's going to make your mother-in-law happy and keep your marriage together. | ||
| Or you can, you know, seek silence and calmness and truly examine your situation and then slowly try to turn that boat around. | ||
| Slowly try to turn that battleship towards where it needs to go. | ||
| I think Ari Shaffir said one time, he said, start with the people in your daily life. | ||
| He's like, be nice to the waiter and be nice to this person. | ||
| And, you know, it can start really simple. | ||
| That's my shit. | ||
| Drop happiness bombs. | ||
| Yeah, I'm going to start doing this. | ||
| You can do it. | ||
| It helps life. | ||
| It puts forth more positive energy. | ||
| And that sounds like hippy-dippy bullshit, but it puts forth better feelings. | ||
| You feel better about the day. | ||
| And I think when you feel better about the day, you think better about the future. | ||
| You respond better to other people. | ||
| You set this ball in motion. | ||
| And when you make someone feel better, then they make someone else feel better. | ||
| Like... | ||
| You know, if Ari sees me tip people or be nice and then he says, I'm gonna fucking do that too. | ||
| And then you hear about that and you say, I'm gonna do that too. | ||
| And when that happens and someone hearing this says, that's how I'm gonna do it. | ||
| That is just ripples and ripples of positive reactions. | ||
| Collectively it can raise our collective consciousness ultimately. | ||
| As much if not more than anything that's ever existed in human history. | ||
| The biggest bursts of change that have ever come forth in human history are nothing compared to the reactions that people are gonna get to the free access Of information and content that the internet has. | ||
| The impact of the 60s ain't shit compared to the impacts of the 2000s and the 2010s and 20s. | ||
| It's going to be logarithmically expanding. | ||
| We can't even wrap our heads around where it's going and that's why the government is panicking. | ||
| That's why they're building this giant NSA spy fucking cabin in Utah, one of the biggest, most expensive projects the government's ever undertaken. | ||
| No money for Neil deGrasse Tyson's gigantic telescope to see the beginning of time, but they've got plenty of money to build a huge building to store every fucking email you've ever written, to take everybody's laptop fucking camera and turn it on to watch you beating off and Store it and put it in some fucking database somewhere. | ||
| And you think that's a joke, but it's not. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| Your fucking cell phone is basically a giant GPS tracking device. | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| It's scary, you know. | ||
| Before I forget, I just want to offer up London Real Studios for you guys. | ||
| If you're ever in town... | ||
| To use as your studios if you want. | ||
| That would be dope. | ||
| If we're ever in England for a UFC, that's when I usually come over. | ||
| Obviously, we'd love you guys on the show, but if you ever want to just use the studios, I reckon you might be able to get the queen on your show. | ||
| You guys got enough juice. | ||
| Maybe you can get some crazy people that are in England or in Europe or some shit. | ||
| I could get Prince Harry. | ||
| You're one of those dudes. | ||
| Is Prince Harry... | ||
| Is that a prince or is that one of the Hogley Warts guys? | ||
| He's a prince. | ||
| He's a real one? | ||
| He's a prince, yeah. | ||
| I never know who's from... | ||
| Dude, London's a trippy place, man. | ||
| What is that show? | ||
| What's the movie again? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Harry Potter. | |
| Harry Potter. | ||
| I never know if it's from Harry Potter or real. | ||
| He's real. | ||
| But a red band shirt. | ||
| It says, keep calm and carry on on the front of his shirt. | ||
| And that pretty much says a lot about Britain. | ||
| I mean, Nick and I, we're actually foreigners, which is crazy. | ||
| And we started a show called London Real. | ||
| I mean, I'm American. | ||
| He's South African. | ||
| What brought you guys to England? | ||
| I went for Bizzo, you know, ten years ago for finance, and what'd you go for? | ||
| Yeah, I wanted to train jiu-jitsu. | ||
| I'm under, like, someone high level, so I went to train with Roger, right? | ||
| Nice. | ||
| So you moved to England for Hodger Gracie. | ||
| Is it Hodger or Roger? | ||
| Some people call him Hodger. | ||
| I asked him on the show, and he said either. | ||
| The jiu-jitsu guys, the Brazilians guy, they all say Hodger. | ||
| Yeah, you know, he's a scary guy, my friend. | ||
| He's got the perfect jujitsu body too, those long limbs, you know? | ||
| Dude, he's a big, tall guy. | ||
| I was surprised when he came over. | ||
| I was like, I forgot how tall he was. | ||
| Were you shocked when he got knocked out by King Mo? | ||
| Yeah, I asked him about it on the show, but I was surprised. | ||
| But then again, like you said, on any day, King Mo's got some power. | ||
| That's what's scary about wrestlers, too. | ||
| If a wrestler develops knockout power, the odds of you getting him down is kind of small. | ||
| It's going to be hard to get a wrestler down. | ||
| Jiu-jitsu guys versus wrestlers are always a weird sort of combination because if the jiu-jitsu guy can't get the wrestler down and the wrestler guy is like a... | ||
| A Chuck Liddell guy, it's bad for the jiu-jitsu guy. | ||
| But if the jiu-jitsu guy can get the wrestler guy down, a lot of times wrestlers have some bad habits. | ||
| Off their back, they're not as good. | ||
| It's interesting, but that King Mo fight shows you a wrestler with some serious power like King Mo. | ||
| That's a dangerous guy. | ||
| It's a dangerous guy to fight if you're trying to take the fight to the ground. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| I asked Roger why he's in London because he's a Brazilian guy. | ||
| He thinks it's the last place he'd want to go. | ||
| The land of rain. | ||
| They say bad food. | ||
| London has some good food, man. | ||
| It's great food. | ||
| You've got to know where to go. | ||
| That was like an old Bill Hicks joke. | ||
| You don't boil pizza. | ||
| I did a whole bit about London's food being bad. | ||
| I'm like, you're crazy. | ||
| The Indian food there is sensational. | ||
| We've had some great Chinese food there. | ||
| What do you guys think when you go to London? | ||
| What does it feel? | ||
| Weird? | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I love London. | ||
| I love the people. | ||
| I think there's so much competitive craziness in America. | ||
| And there's so much just arrogance in the American attitude, which is, you know, one of the things that sort of built, yeah, made it as fucking nutty as it is. | ||
| But it also makes it just exhausting. | ||
| I feel it a bit just landing here from London. | ||
| It was like we're on Mars and I walk around. | ||
| I'm staying in Venice Beach and there is like a little bit of an aggression level high. | ||
| Well, it's not that everywhere. | ||
| We were in North Carolina. | ||
| We were in Asheville this past weekend. | ||
| We did Raleigh Friday and Asheville Saturday. | ||
| And Asheville is a goddamn gem of a town. | ||
| It's a small town. | ||
| And everybody's walking on the streets and, you know, we didn't even think about it. | ||
| Like, where is this restaurant? | ||
| Oh, three blocks up and to the right. | ||
| And we're all just walking. | ||
| And everybody else is walking. | ||
| People walk everywhere. | ||
| And I'm like, that's missing in LA. It's completely missing. | ||
| In LA, nobody walks anywhere. | ||
| You need to have face-to-face contact. | ||
| Like the tube in London, which is the underground, you see people face-to-face, you know, and you're constantly interacting with them, seeing these crazy women wearing burqas or some lady from Somalia, and you're smelling them and seeing them. | ||
| People are just more polite there, too. | ||
| It's almost super polite. | ||
| Matter of fact, you say sorry first. | ||
| I mean, I've heard there 10 years now, and the first thing you say is sorry. | ||
| It's really annoying when you're here. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| It's just, you know, it's setting forth good intentions right away. | ||
| My buddy has a theory. | ||
| America is such a huge landmass that it's not ever that densely populated if you compare it to Tokyo or London where we're on this tiny little island. | ||
| What happens is in places like that where it's so densely populated people are forced to be They're forced to learn to be able to live on top of each other and be nicer to each other because there's nowhere out. | ||
| I would agree with you except for New York. | ||
| New York's filled with cunts. | ||
| They're stacked on top of each other. | ||
| Hurling shit like chimpanzees. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I lived there for a few years and now it's too much for me. | |
| I hear what you're saying, but no. | ||
| I think it has to do with why people came here in the first place. | ||
| The ripples, the first ripples of intention of the people that landed, they were crazy. | ||
| They were people who were so bold, they got on a boat and sailed for months across the fucking ocean to some place they hadn't even seen in a video because video wasn't invented. | ||
| They were loasters. | ||
| That's 10 minute warning. | ||
| One thing about London I find is that there are years behind the technology curve. | ||
| I know in LA so many people have podcasts and And maybe in New York, it's probably lagged a couple years. | ||
| But in London, I mean, we tell people about London Real, and it's like it's a podcast, and they'll be like, it's a what? | ||
| There's just not a lot of people there yet. | ||
| That's interesting, but I think that'll change. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It'll catch up. | |
| I mean, it's not like you don't have access to computers and an internet connection. | ||
| Microphones, you could always buy them. | ||
| You guys will lead the way. | ||
| You'll be the ones. | ||
| It's new, though. | ||
| At first, you show people, okay, we have a show for an hour, and then they try to watch it like Game of Thrones for an hour. | ||
| It's like, well, it's not like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, you know, we have a lot of people who do live shows here, and I don't like those. | ||
| They do them in front of audiences. | ||
| Yeah, when Maren does that in front of an audience, I just turn it off, because it always feels like... | ||
| It's different vibes. | ||
| Are they trying to cater to the audience, and then they're not talking to me? | ||
| They're faking it. | ||
| Trying to ham it up a little bit? | ||
| Yeah, you are aware, no doubt, that 50,000 fucking whatever it is in the audience, you know, guys have done them with thousands of people. | ||
| I know Carolla does, like, 1,000 seats. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's not my thing, man. | ||
| It's a weird vibe. | ||
| It's not the right sort of a vibe, I think, for podcasts. | ||
| It's a different thing. | ||
| Norton's great at it. | ||
| Norton's really good at doing it. | ||
| He turns it up. | ||
| Do you think we should go live? | ||
| We don't have a live format, but it's effectively live because we don't edit in one hour. | ||
| I was curious. | ||
| I mean, you guys do everything live. | ||
| Yeah, live is good. | ||
| You can do whatever the fuck you want, man. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| Try it out. | ||
| See if you like it. | ||
| I thought I would love it, but I hated it. | ||
| You hate it. | ||
| You still hate it. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| He's not saying in front of an audience. | ||
| He's saying live. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it's pretty authentic. | ||
| Everything we've said in this has been live. | ||
| It's already been consumed. | ||
| Who knows how many fucking people? | ||
| How many people are listening to this, Brian? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Come on, you know. | ||
| How do you know the numbers? | ||
| How many people do watch your show? | ||
| All together? | ||
| We don't know. | ||
| Millions? | ||
| Yeah, it's definitely millions. | ||
| We're also on Sirius Radio. | ||
| Right now we have 2,300. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, just our Ustream page has 11,454,000 views. | ||
| Just our Ustream page. | ||
| And way more. | ||
| Like he said, there's only 2,000 people watching at a time. | ||
| The most, I think earlier, it was probably close to 3,000. | ||
| The most we've ever had was maybe 9,000 or 10,000 at once watching it. | ||
| Yeah, but the real numbers are in audible downloads, audio downloads, mp3 downloads. | ||
| That's where it gets crazy. | ||
| Can we drop our info if people want to come check us out? | ||
| The website's londonreal.tv. | ||
| We're on Twitter, at London Real TV. And you can always check our YouTube channel, which is London Real TV as a channel. | ||
| Or just type London Real into Google, man. | ||
| You'll find us. | ||
| And also, guys, I have a jiu-jitsu site called Jiu-Jitsu Brotherhood. | ||
| That's all one word. | ||
| I discuss my philosophy. | ||
| It's jiu-jitsubrotherhood.com. | ||
| Just talk about my style of jiu-jitsu. | ||
| Everything's free on there. | ||
| You can go check it out as well if you have a chance. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Beautiful. | |
| If anybody wants to start a podcast in any city around the world, if you've got questions, you can email, message us, call us. | ||
| We'll be happy to help. | ||
| I'd love to see more of these things. | ||
| You don't have to call it real. | ||
| You can call it whatever the fuck you want. | ||
| And maybe in one year from today, you can be on Joe's show. | ||
| Yeah, easily. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| I'll have anybody on. | ||
| And I think that's what it's all about, right? | ||
| I think it's all about encouraging other people to carry this on. | ||
| And you guys are doing it the perfect way. | ||
| It's beautiful to watch. | ||
| I enjoyed watching your show. | ||
| I enjoyed listening to it, listening to your conversations with Graham Hancock and Simon and a bunch of other ones I've seen, too. | ||
| It's awesome, and I hope that you guys spawn a million others, and it continues on. | ||
| Got to pay it forward, right? | ||
| Yeah, I think that really is. | ||
| It sounds so fucking corny and grandiose, but I think that really is the way to change the world. | ||
| The way to change the world is to let people know how you've changed, and then it branches out. | ||
| It ripples. | ||
| It has this massive sort of snowball effect, and it just grows, and If there's any way that we can improve our world, it's improving the way the other people around us see it and approach it. | ||
| This thing might be ridiculous. | ||
| It might be just one frame in an infinite movie that goes on forever. | ||
| For a lot of people that get really sad about that and say, well, wow, that's so pointless. | ||
| What's the point? | ||
| But it's happening right now, and I'm enjoying the fuck out of it. | ||
| If it is happening right now, if this is really one fucking step in an infinite number of steps, and it's just a life cycle that will repeat itself again, and you're going to be a baby again in 50 years, guess what? | ||
| I'm having a great fucking time. | ||
| It's fun as fuck to do this stuff. | ||
| And if I can figure out a way... | ||
| To somehow or another transfer this energy into my next life, I'll have a great time in that life too. | ||
| I didn't always have a great time in this life, and I don't know what that's from. | ||
| I don't know if reincarnation's real. | ||
| I don't know if this is a one-time shot and everything else is just your ego trying to protect itself from the inevitable doom of the spirit which dies just like the body does. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| We're all going to know one day though, right? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I'm not sure of that either. | ||
| Well, we're all going to die. | ||
| I don't even know if that's real. | ||
| I'm not convinced. | ||
| This whole thing might be a fucking dream within a dream within a dream. | ||
| It might be a PlayStation 7 game, right? | ||
| Wrapped up in chocolate sauce and pumped into your veins through a pot cookie that Brian Redband handed you when you went out the door. | ||
| No cookies. | ||
| No cookies, Nick. | ||
| But I think what's made it fun for me is to have these kind of conversations. | ||
| It's really made life more enjoyable. | ||
| And I know that you guys are positively influencing a lot of people. | ||
| And I know this show is, and all of our friends are. | ||
| And I think that's what's up. | ||
| I think that's something that we've all locked into. | ||
| Most of us unexpectedly sort of stumbled into it, but that's... | ||
| Also, I think that's the right way it's supposed to go down. | ||
| The universe has a plan for all this, and we're little strange monkeys. | ||
| We follow the plan, and if you're resonating the right frequency, if you have the right intent, I think that plan turns out the way this one's turned out. | ||
| I think it's good. | ||
| It's helping everybody. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| London Real, bitches! | ||
| Thanks, Joe, so much. | ||
| That's what's up! | ||
| Joe, thanks so much. | ||
| So they can find you guys on Twitter, London Real TV on Twitter. | ||
| Do you have individual Twitter accounts? | ||
| Nah, we just roll as a team. | ||
| Do we have small ones? | ||
| We're like husband and wife. | ||
| We have small ones? | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| Dude, we're like, we bicker at each other. | ||
| It's like crazy. | ||
| Just wait until one of you actually gets married and starts having kids and you'll have some fucking problems. | ||
| Oh, and that offer goes out. | ||
| Then you have the wife come in and do three podcasts. | ||
| They'll be like, are you really going to podcast with him again today? | ||
| God, you guys did one a couple of days ago. | ||
| How about you go back to 108? | ||
| No, I don't tolerate that, son. | ||
| I keep the pimp hands strong in my household. | ||
| Me, Tarzan, and you, Jane. | ||
| That's how I roll. | ||
| For life, bitches. | ||
| Hey, can I promote the Death Squad show? | ||
| Oh shit, yeah. | ||
| November 10th, me, Brendan Walsh, and Tony Henchcliffe are coming to Columbus, Ohio at the Woodlands Tavern. | ||
| It's on brownpapertickets.com to search for Death Squad. | ||
| And we're going to have a couple more days. | ||
| And there's a special surprise guest that I'm not allowed to say who's joining us. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Special surprise guest. | ||
| And that is all. | ||
| You can get that information also at deathsquad.tv. | ||
| Brian will have that up. | ||
| Yes, people keep asking me, when are you going to put together a website where you have all of the information of everybody that's, you know, quote-unquote, involved in the Death Squad? | ||
| We're going to do that. | ||
| It's just a matter of time. | ||
| It's just a matter of, like I said, I have too much shit going on right now. | ||
| Brian has too much shit going on right now. | ||
| There is somebody else doing it for us. | ||
| Vicky Peza has got Death Squad News where he has all of our tour dates. | ||
| That's nice as well. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Yeah, it has all of it, like Ari, Burt Kreischer, Brian Calland, Ari Shaffir. | ||
| There's me from a show that was like a month ago. | ||
| Well, yeah, she hasn't updated it in the last week. | ||
| It's free! | ||
| Well, we've got to have someone. | ||
| Look, we're going to do this. | ||
| It's all when the studio gets constructed and moving in place. | ||
| Brian and I just had some conversations about it today. | ||
| And the regular weekly shows at the Ice House, I talked to Bob today. | ||
| We had a little meeting. | ||
| He brought me in. | ||
| And one of the things that Bob Fisher, the owner of the Ice House, wants to do is have a weekly show. | ||
| So I will be at the Ice House every week that I am in town. | ||
| If I'm not in town, I won't have a show here, but most Wednesdays, consider it done. | ||
| This Wednesday, so far, it's Joey Diaz, Duncan Trussell. | ||
| Are you in? | ||
| Probably, yeah. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| Probably Brian. | ||
| I think Ian Edwards is coming too, and I think Ari Shafir. | ||
| Ari Shafir is in. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Ari Shafir just texted me. | ||
| He said, I'm in! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| Boom! | ||
| That's how we roll. | ||
| Look, it says boom. | ||
| He really did say that. | ||
| That's what kind of fucking psychic energy I'm putting forth, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| You see that? | ||
| Oh, you got your text all big. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm in. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Okay, you dirty bitches. | ||
| He's in. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| And if you want to get in one of those super sweet Desquad TV shirts? | ||
| What's a TV shirt? | ||
| Desquad T-shirts, the ones that I saw everywhere in North Carolina this weekend, holla at your boy, they're available at Desquad.TV. And again, those go directly to support Brian's Podcast Network. | ||
| So if you like the Ice House Chronicles and all those other cool podcasts. | ||
| And Kevin Pereira, who will be starting tomorrow. | ||
| Thursday, I'm sorry. | ||
| I missed it. | ||
| Thursday. | ||
| Thursday. | ||
| That's what's up. | ||
| This week, we have, tomorrow, we have Duncan motherfucking Trussell. | ||
| We'll be joining the podcast. | ||
| And then, on Thursday, we have Amber Lyon, who is the CNN reporter. | ||
| They censored her, man. | ||
| This is going to be really fascinating stuff. | ||
| This is going to blow your mind. | ||
| I've been listening to several interviews of her that are already available online. | ||
| And this is one courageous woman. | ||
| And this is going to be a really, really fascinating look into the world of big-time journalism. | ||
| You dirty bitches. | ||
| Alright, thanks to Onnit.com. | ||
| Go there, get yourself some alpha brains, son. | ||
| They say, hey man, what does neurotransmitters do? | ||
| I say, they make you awesome. | ||
| That's all I know. | ||
| All the other stuff is mumbo-jumbo, and my eyes are going, and I can't even read the small print without glasses. | ||
| But, go to use the code name ROGAN. Become an ant. | ||
| Yes, become an ant. | ||
| Use the code name ROGAN, and you will save 10% off any and all orders of supplements, including Hemp Force, the most delicious hemp protein available. | ||
| Known to man, motherfucker. | ||
| It's got maca in it, which is good for your penis, and it's also... | ||
| Got raw cocoa in it, which is an excellent antioxidant. | ||
| So that's the schedule for this week. | ||
| New podcast studio is in construction right now. | ||
| We go live with the internet this Friday. | ||
| So within a week, we'll start doing some shows from there. | ||
| But we will never abandon the Ice House, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| This is our home. | ||
| We love you. | ||
| You love us. | ||
| We are one. | ||
| All of us together in this crazy, fucked up soup of humanity that might just be a dream. | ||
| See you tomorrow, freaks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Peace! |
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