Sept. 12, 2012 - The Joe Rogan Experience
53:10
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Are you going to get in line? | ||
| Yeah, I might have to get in line. | ||
| I'll do whatever I have to do. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I'll probably get the bug and then just want it badly. | ||
| I like it, man. | ||
| I'd be willing to wait in line for like an hour. | ||
| No, half an hour. | ||
|
unidentified
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Half an hour. | |
| Oh, alright. | ||
| I'd like to listen to some music. | ||
|
unidentified
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So you tap out after that. | |
| I would just think about how long does it take? | ||
| How long is this line? | ||
|
unidentified
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Half hour? | |
| Just order it. | ||
| If you order it, they just ship it to you. | ||
| Yeah, but... | ||
| You get it the same day. | ||
| When you want it, immediately. | ||
| But what will hold me over is that Samsung Galaxy S3. I want to see it, man. | ||
| Oh, shit, bitch. | ||
| Yeah, I've heard good things. | ||
| Yeah, I'll pull it out. | ||
| I'll let you touch it. | ||
| I did have somebody at a show. | ||
| I want to touch it. | ||
| Take a picture with it, and the screen looked beautiful. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| And you know what else it can do? | ||
| It can take a blast of photos. | ||
| It can take a... | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Ten photos in a row. | ||
| Like a high speed? | ||
| Yeah, it does some weird thing where you can jump up in the air and it'll capture ten different pictures. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Like if the deer that I got in my backyard... | ||
| When I went to the bathroom, they were going full on, running fast back and forth for no reason. | ||
| What are these guys doing? | ||
| Just run around, man. | ||
| Your house is surrounded by crazy deer. | ||
| Yeah, but this is where they feel comfortable because my dogs can't get... | ||
| Listen, they're nice animals. | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| They're lucky. | ||
| They're lucky that it's not illegal to shoot them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Would you shoot them? | ||
| I might. | ||
| I might. | ||
| There's a problem. | ||
| There's a problem with deer. | ||
| It's not a problem in my neighborhood because nobody drives fast. | ||
| It's a pretty quiet area. | ||
| But if you have this many deer near a main road, it becomes a real problem. | ||
| People all over the world crash into deer. | ||
| I mean, it's just a fucking really common way that people get injured and cars get fucked up. | ||
| Fucked up. | ||
| I've seen cars ruined from deer. | ||
| Think of how big that deer was and if that hit the windshield. | ||
| That would break your fucking face, man. | ||
| And if the thing's still alive and kicking and glass is flying in your eyeballs. | ||
| If it was a motorcycle. | ||
| Yeah, you literally have to kill those things. | ||
| You have to kill them. | ||
| PETA people don't want to admit this, but there's one of two options, okay? | ||
| You either assume your position at the top of the food chain and deal with the problem, or you bring something else in and you're no longer at the top of the food chain. | ||
| Because that's the only way you're going to have to deal with this issue. | ||
| What do they prey everywhere? | ||
| So you either eat it or you bring in predators. | ||
| That's all you can do. | ||
| Because you're either going to shoot it or you've got to bring in mountain lions and wolves. | ||
| Do they propose that we just let deer just explode in population? | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| Well, you know, look, they don't want people hunting. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They don't want people hunting. | ||
| But I don't know what kind of ideas they have to stop the population growth. | ||
| Because if you don't manage that shit... | ||
| And this is something that... | ||
| When I was a young man, I thought that deer hunting... | ||
| Wow, why would you ever want to kill a deer? | ||
| I didn't even think about the irony of wanting a cheeseburger and wondering why anybody would go and kill a deer. | ||
| It didn't even make sense to me. | ||
| But... | ||
| As you get older and you understand that you have to do something about the population, if you don't do something about the population, they're like rats. | ||
| There's going to be a disease. | ||
| There's going to be problems. | ||
| Because every population needs to be put in check. | ||
| The cycle has to be in. | ||
| The reason why the world's so fucked up right now Is because there's nothing that eats us That's like the main reason We can just dominate We can just run around all willy nilly And nothing puts us in check And if that was the case with deer We would be fucked We'd go 20 miles an hour everywhere They'd be jumping in front of your car Everywhere you went The only good thing is we'd never go hungry You'd just pull over Pull out a gun Boom Blow one of those stupid fucking things in the head Start a fire You could eat You would never starve to death | ||
| But there'd be deer everywhere, and you wouldn't get anywhere, and people would die on the highway every day. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Because you would just hit one of those fucking dummies, and it would kick through your skull. | ||
| They would fucking fuck you up. | ||
| Oh, they'd fuck you up, man. | ||
| Have you ever had deer jerky? | ||
| Love it. | ||
| That's good stuff, man. | ||
| I have a box of it. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, I buy venison jerky and elk jerky. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I feel like a man when I eat them. | ||
|
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That's good stuff. | |
| I feel like I'm a mountain man. | ||
| I'm living up in a cabin. | ||
|
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You are. | |
| You are. | ||
| Dude, you savage animal. | ||
|
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I'm fierce. | |
| I'm feeling fierce as fuck. | ||
| All right. | ||
| God, deer's living in my yard, bro. | ||
| I'm like a wild person up here. | ||
| You are a wild person. | ||
| You gotta be careful about wild, though. | ||
| Gotta respect that shit. | ||
| Gotta keep it in line. | ||
| People that think that you shouldn't kill deer are ridiculous. | ||
| You're ridiculous. | ||
| You have to do something with them. | ||
| You're ridiculous and you're dangerous. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| And it's stupid. | ||
| It's not like they're going to live forever if you don't shoot them. | ||
| And by the way, killing deer is a thousand times better than running some ridiculous factory chicken farm, stuffing everything into a fucking box where it can't move. | ||
| Just think about veal. | ||
| Think about how they raise veal and how many pig farms or pigs are stuffed right next to you. | ||
| Deers are just running around, man. | ||
| Just running around. | ||
| I would like to do the bow hunting. | ||
| Dude, I've been watching a lot of bow hunting. | ||
| It's cool, but I can't actually. | ||
| I'm not good at stomaching the kill part. | ||
| I'll show you something that you really won't like. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| War? | ||
| There's a show called Pig Man, and I've been obsessed with it from the time I saw them first kill a pig with a knife. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The dogs hold the pig down, and they stab it in the throat with a knife. | ||
| Is this a show? | ||
| Yeah, it's a show. | ||
| It's about pigs in rural Texas. | ||
| Pigs in Texas are a fucking huge problem. | ||
| And wild pigs are literally destroying millions of acres. | ||
| There's millions and millions of wild pigs. | ||
| It's a ridiculous infestation to the point where they're shooting them out of helicopters. | ||
| And that's one of the things they did on Pigman. | ||
| This guy gets in a fucking helicopter and shoots like 200 pigs in a day. | ||
| Well, this is the disturbing. | ||
| That was disturbing, but the most recent episode was way more disturbing. | ||
| He goes hunting in Argentina, and he's trying to get pigs, like these big giant pigs, and there's no pigs around, so he shoots a fox. | ||
| And he shoots a fox with a bow and arrow, and the thing screams this horrible sound. | ||
| fucked up, man. | ||
| It was really weird to watch because he nails this thing and it just lets out this horrible, horrible screech. | ||
| And then you realize he's not going to eat that. | ||
| You're not eating that fox. | ||
| He just shot that fox because he could shoot that fox. | ||
| I was like, oh, what, for the pelts or something? | ||
| Jesus Christ, what are we doing? | ||
| We living in the fur trapping days? | ||
| You're not really a fur trapper. | ||
| I mean, I guess it's worth some money, but you just shot that thing because you wanted to shoot a fox. | ||
| And when I lived in Colorado, man, foxes are cool as fuck. | ||
| Foxes are badass. | ||
| They're kind of cool, man. | ||
| There's, what's it called, coyotes that run around Griffith Park? | ||
| The coyotes are different. | ||
| Coyotes are creeps. | ||
| I have coyotes in my backyard. | ||
| They're dangerous creeps. | ||
| They are. | ||
| They're dangerous creeps. | ||
| But foxes are not dangerous to people at all. | ||
| Coyotes will attack children, but foxes won't. | ||
| Foxes are very clever. | ||
| They do come in packs. | ||
| And they come in packs down from the hillside, and you'll... | ||
| All of a sudden, every few weeks, I'll hear that they have a maniacal, high-pitched barking thing they do. | ||
| They're dangerous, bro. | ||
| They're dangerous. | ||
| Yeah, they're always in my front yard. | ||
| They play with my dog through the window. | ||
| My dog will bark, and then that coyote will come up and just like... | ||
| Yeah, that's stupid... | ||
| What I say about them is that the only reason they don't kill us is because they don't think they can get away with it. | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| And they'll kill anything else around us, including your children. | ||
| They will attack your children. | ||
| It's happened a bunch of times. | ||
| I've seen a dog running, like trotting. | ||
| A coyote, excuse me. | ||
| Trotting down fountain with a dog in its mouth. | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| That's what they eat. | ||
| Late at night. | ||
| They snatch them right off of people's leashes. | ||
| People go walking around in nice neighborhoods like Brentwood. | ||
| They go walking around with a dog on a leash and a coyote will come and snatch that motherfucker off and run. | ||
| The rats out here, man. | ||
| The rats just walk on my power lines. | ||
| Just going from house to house, you just see tons of rats. | ||
|
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Whoa. | |
| That shit. | ||
| Fuck that, dude. | ||
| They had to lock down some house and quarantine it because some people caught some horrible rat disease from that hoarder show. | ||
| Oh, jeez. | ||
| Yeah, they're cleaning up people's houses, and these people had a rat infestation in their house. | ||
| And this disease, apparently, it kills like 20-50% of the people who get it, and it's incurable. | ||
| There's no cure for it. | ||
| So these people are catching this horrible, incurable disease from cleaning up people's shit houses. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Rats everywhere, and infestations, and Fuck, man. | ||
| I used to see those rats on the power lines. | ||
| And this is when I worked in a big corporate building. | ||
| And so I talked to the guys who would come into the offices and the kitchen and set traps and do this stuff. | ||
| So I was like, hey, I'm terrified of the fucking rats. | ||
| I was like, what can I do about rats? | ||
| And he was like, well, he'd tell me the options. | ||
| And he was like, he gave me. | ||
| These gel pad, like sticky gel. | ||
| It's like a big rectangular thing and you just place it. | ||
| He's like, they'll be running and then they'll just get stuck in that. | ||
| And then they just rot. | ||
| And then they'll just die. | ||
| So I was like, alright. | ||
| I was so scared of them that I said, fuck it. | ||
| I put it up on the roof. | ||
| He's like, put a little peanut butter and they'll just come right there. | ||
| Cool. | ||
| I lay them out. | ||
| I come out the next day. | ||
| They are from the roof. | ||
| They're down on the floor now, flipped over, and shit on. | ||
| It's like the rats pick them up, flip them over, and shit all over them. | ||
| Like, fuck your trap. | ||
|
unidentified
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Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
|
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Wow. | |
| And they were just... | ||
| Kicked over. | ||
| With rat shit all over them. | ||
| I had a really bad mouse problem when I was in college. | ||
| It was so bad where the mice would take a blanket off my couch and mice would scurry out. | ||
| When you have an ancient infrastructure that's been infested, like New York City's infrastructure, there's really almost no way to eradicate them. | ||
| Unless you would clean every person out of the city and then just kill everything alive in the city. | ||
| And even then, you're probably going to miss a few. | ||
| They're going to be in cracks. | ||
| there's more brats I think than there are people in New York City yeah so we had one of those traps but my mouse like I was like one day I was like what's that noise in my kitchen and I hear like like like just a shuffling noise and there's like just blood and there's a mouse there that was like biting his leg off and I didn't know what to do so I grabbed like one of those scoops that you for the broom and I threw it outside and I was So I don't know what happened to it. | ||
| I just never went into my backyard anymore. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Anywhere where there's rats, you just gotta get the fuck out of there. | ||
| You can't win. | ||
| You're not gonna win. | ||
| You need to set up shop in a place that doesn't have rats like that. | ||
| That was the monoxide house. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Same house. | ||
| Makes sense. | ||
| Jesus Christ, what a shitty house. | ||
| You got attacked by rodents and poisoned brain. | ||
| Dude, speaking of poisoned brain, this new Sports Illustrated, I know you're a football fan. | ||
| Did you read this shit on Jim McMahon? | ||
| No, I know he's not doing well. | ||
| He's not doing well, man. | ||
| When I was a kid, I was not a football fan, but I knew who the fuck Jim McMahon was. | ||
| He was a super famous football player. | ||
| Bandanas that he used to wear and shit. | ||
| Sunglasses and shit. | ||
| Super Bowl Shuffle. | ||
| Yeah, the Super Bowl shuffle. | ||
| Well, he apparently has dementia. | ||
| And his girlfriend takes pictures of them together because one day she's worried that he's going to forget who she is. | ||
| Because she sees it slowly slipping away. | ||
| He'll kiss her goodbye and then he'll be downstairs just standing frozen because he can't remember what he was going to do. | ||
| I think football is on the verge of changing dramatically. | ||
| How the fuck can you? | ||
| They were talking to him. | ||
| He was on the sports show and they were talking to him about it. | ||
| And he said leather helmets might be the rule. | ||
| Like, go back to leather helmets and have no head contact at all. | ||
| But that's not going to work. | ||
| I mean, it's like, who's going to accept that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I saw the, oh my god, on Real Sports on HBO. Yeah. | ||
| All those old players that come in all shaking and fucked up. | ||
| Oh, they've seen that, but they have this guy, I feel bad that I forgot his name, he played for the Saints. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| And he got ALS at like 34, 35. And basically they said this is the first time we've ever seen that this traumatic, just head, or the severe head trauma repeatedly Might be a cause of ALS. We've never had... | ||
| We've never shown evidence that something could lead to ALS. What does ALS stand for? | ||
| It's a long... | ||
| It's a medical term that I can't pronounce correctly, but it's... | ||
| It destroys your muscles. | ||
| And the only thing it doesn't destroy as it eats away your muscles is your brain. | ||
| So you're totally aware of how you're physically just... | ||
| Evaporating. | ||
| Evaporating. | ||
| And like... | ||
| He played in the first game after Katrina. | ||
| New Orleans was just devastated, right? | ||
| And the Superdome was used to house the city's residents who didn't have a place to go. | ||
| And they never know if they were going to even be able to rebuild it. | ||
| They rebuilt it, got it all cleaned up, and then they had their first game since Katrina. | ||
| And it was like a big deal. | ||
| And he... | ||
| Blocked a punt that just sent the place into... | ||
| It's like one of the craziest... | ||
| You see the clip of it. | ||
| It's super emotional. | ||
| The place just goes nuts. | ||
| They're so excited to have their team back. | ||
| And so he was that guy, and he retired. | ||
| He played like eight or nine years in the league and was retired and looking forward to the rest of his life. | ||
| How old was he when he retired? | ||
| He retired, I think, like 30, 31, a few years ago. | ||
| And then, you know... | ||
| Why did he retire at 31? | ||
| He just had his run. | ||
| He was a special teams player. | ||
| He had a good career, and then... | ||
| But it seems like there's plenty of years left in your athletic career. | ||
| A lot of NFL guys are three, four years. | ||
| And is it because of physical breakdown? | ||
| You just don't make the cut. | ||
| A lot of times you'll see guys that they were big contributors, and then they're waived by this team, picked up by this team, and all of a sudden they're 29 even, and no team wants them anymore. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| Just you wear out. | ||
| You wear out. | ||
| I mean, it's so fucking, you know, those collisions, man. | ||
| And they asked him during the thing, they're like, how many times were you knocked out during your career? | ||
| And he was like, twice, you know, where I was like blackout, knocked out. | ||
| And then how many times... | ||
| Did you have like your bell rung, you know, where you're just like, holy shit. | ||
| He was like hundreds. | ||
| Hundreds of times. | ||
| That's fucking... | ||
| Even in practice. | ||
| Those count too, man. | ||
| Those count too. | ||
| Practice counts. | ||
| Everything counts. | ||
| And we see, you know, Junior Seau... | ||
| What do you do, though? | ||
| Do you tell people they've got to stop playing football? | ||
| I would not want my kids to play football, I'll tell you that. | ||
| I would be reluctant. | ||
| I know that the only way, the thing that most people agree on is that the proper technique is not being taught from a young age now. | ||
| If you look at old footage of football, yeah, they're different caliber athletes and stuff, and they're not like the monsters, but it was more technical tackling. | ||
| You're taught when you bend your knees, you put your shoulder into basically somebody's chest, you wrap up, you tackle. | ||
| Those are the tackles that rarely do you see that result in some devastating head drama. | ||
| But now, and this is now meaning the last 15, 20 years, It is like, you see helmets being lowered, crown of the head, into the other person's helmet, just head blows. | ||
| People are fucking, you know, throwing shoulders, helmets, and forearms into people's heads, and then you see them, like, just, it's like they were just in a car accident, man. | ||
| Like, they're just, they can't handle it. | ||
| Doesn't matter what type of helmet you wear. | ||
| Yeah, there's only so much punishment your brain can take, and I think that there's very few things in life that hit you as hard as a football player does. | ||
| I just think that those dudes, when you look at a 300-pound guy running at you, full clip, and charging into your body while another guy hits you over this way, and you collide together, and then the guy goes unconscious. | ||
| Is there any other time in life where you see a man completely armored up, just get knocked unconscious? | ||
| Oh my God, I know. | ||
| They have helmets on, they have big armor padding on their shoulders, and they get knocked the fuck out. | ||
| And the real problem, now they're more on top of it because they have to be, but the real problem is you look at the 80s and 90s, the guys who are now 40 to 50, and you're seeing a lot of depression, dementia, and you're seeing Alzheimer's and all these different debilitating things take place. | ||
| Those guys would get knocked out. | ||
| Or, you know, they would get, like, a severe concussion, and it would just be, like, you need to go play right away now. | ||
| Like, there wasn't, like, now there's, like, you know, they're finally doing, like, if you even have a sign of this, you're going to be out for this amount of time. | ||
| You have to have test. | ||
| Those guys played with, like, full concussion syndromes. | ||
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Jesus Christ. | |
| Which means that, like, their brain just went, just shook inside their skull, and now they're fucking playing again, you know? | ||
| It's so crazy that they didn't even know. | ||
| That just shows you how recent not just the science of brain trauma is, where they really kind of understand what causes real problems, but also the idea of this as a sport is so recent. | ||
| In the human medical encyclopedia, as far as things that happen to people, how often did they have to judge or look at a very specific group, like people who do this one thing, who all come down with traumatic brain injury? | ||
| Like, what the fuck is going on? | ||
| What is this one profession? | ||
| It's not like being a welder does that, but being this football player thing? | ||
| Well, this whole idea of a football player is like 100 years old. | ||
| I mean, it's super new. | ||
| So, in the medical history of, like, things that you shouldn't do that are fucked up for you, this sort of hasn't really been fully entered. | ||
| But neither has fighting, man. | ||
| I mean, fighting, like, as far as, like, people have known about punch-drunk boxers forever. | ||
| I mean, that's always been, you know, the boxer that's stuck around too long and the horrible stories and the words that are, you know, stumbling, slurring out of their mouth. | ||
| It's terrible to watch that stuff. | ||
| We've known about that forever. | ||
| But we're going to start to see that probably from MMA fighters if they're not looked after. | ||
|
unidentified
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Definitely. | |
| As well. | ||
| I mean, they're taking shots to the head as well. | ||
| It's all about knowing when to fucking get out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's all about use as much intelligence as you can, risk as much as you need to, but no more, and then get out when you feel like it's slipping away. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you gotta treat any real head trauma, a concussion, like a really serious event. | ||
| It's not something to just be like, oh, that happens. | ||
| It gets really, really serious. | ||
| Well, I've heard of dudes get knocked out in training and then go to a fight and then get hit with a small shot in the fight and they go unconscious. | ||
| Because they were really walking around halfway knocked out already. | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| Marvin Eastman fought Travis Luter. | ||
| Travis Luter hit him on the end of the punch. | ||
| It was really weird. | ||
| It looked like he just shut off. | ||
| Like, he hit him in his whole body, and I was like, that doesn't even make any sense. | ||
| But then he talked to the people that trained with him, and they said he got knocked out twice in camp for that fight. | ||
| Which is just fucking crazy! | ||
| Yeah, and he was probably right back, like, the day after fucking taking shots. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wonder if they're ever going to be able to fix that. | ||
| I wonder if there's ever going to be anything that can repair. | ||
| Because the thing about brain conditions, I think, from impact is that they're degenerative. | ||
| And that just like with these boxers, they say that something happened to them 10 years ago and they start to feel the effects 10 years later. | ||
| Well, I think, you know, because it's so unnatural, either to get, like, the trauma you experience... | ||
|
unidentified
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Absolutely. | |
| Like, most people that have one occurrence like that, that's the one occurrence they have for their life. | ||
| They don't have that. | ||
| They don't go through that hundreds of times. | ||
| You know, you have... | ||
| You know, everyone knows somebody. | ||
| Oh, you're in a car accident? | ||
| Oh, fuck, and it fucked me up. | ||
| That's that one time that happened. | ||
| And I had headaches for fucking years, and I went to this type of therapist, and I got this type of treatment once. | ||
| Not like, oh, this is the kind of thing that happens to me every six weeks. | ||
| I get fucking just laid out and fucking pass out because somebody devastated my head. | ||
| Well, a lot of camps that didn't know any better, they thought that would toughen guys up. | ||
| So guys were getting knocked out in training all the time. | ||
| Because they would go full clip in training. | ||
| That was really common in a lot of camps. | ||
|
unidentified
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I don't want to name names. | |
| But yeah, people, they don't treat brain trauma with as much respect as they should. | ||
| Yeah, they did a lot of things fucked up. | ||
| They used to not believe that you should give... | ||
| Football players water in August to toughen you up during practice. | ||
| You go two and a half hours with no water. | ||
| It's 98 degrees outside. | ||
| They thought that was the smart thing to do. | ||
| They did a lot of stupid shit, man. | ||
| They did a lot of stupid shit. | ||
| There's a lot of people out there that got their brains ruined because people didn't understand. | ||
| But now it comes down to this. | ||
| Now we know. | ||
| Now what do we do? | ||
| Because it seems like you can fight in MMA and get out of it without brain trauma. | ||
| I don't know if that's the case with football. | ||
| I really don't. | ||
| There's some guys that clearly have made it out okay, but there's guys... | ||
| I think there's going to be this wave... | ||
| This wave of guys you're going to see where it's not just every once in a while you hear the news of somebody. | ||
| It's just going to be dozens of people that have severe brain injuries from football. | ||
| That's how they should get rid of the helmets. | ||
| Yeah, that's what they're saying. | ||
| It's been suggested. | ||
| Look, it's a very bright suggestion. | ||
| And people think it's silly. | ||
| They're like, what are you talking about? | ||
| That's even more dangerous. | ||
| It's actually not, man. | ||
| It's also one of the arguments about MMA. That they should switch to bare knuckles. | ||
| Because you can't punch people as hard. | ||
| The only problem is you cut people a lot easier with your knuckles. | ||
| A lot of fights would be stopped because of cuts. | ||
| Elbows and knuckles cut people the most. | ||
| I mean, the helmet is used in football as a weapon. | ||
| It's just like when you talk about the gloves that are dipped, your hand-wrapped. | ||
| It's a fucking solid weapon. | ||
| Yeah, and it's protected by all these pads, so you can brace it against your You know, your neck and everything and you're running full into somebody. | ||
| It's a silly sport, man. | ||
| As a human being, I mean, look, it's super impressive. | ||
| And if that's how you make your living, you know, hey, God bless you. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| God bless. | ||
| But if you've got another option, man, you might want to not slam your body into dudes as hard as you can. | ||
| Because it seems like that shit's bad for you. | ||
| There's definitely a good argument against it. | ||
| Because a fighter like Anderson Silva can go through whole fights and not get touched. | ||
| He just fucks guys up and doesn't even get hit. | ||
| And you look at it and go, well, if you're super talented and super technical, you can fight and not take that much damage. | ||
| You go through all of Anderson's fights. | ||
| Only the Chael Sonnen fight does he ever take a bunch of punches. | ||
| And he still looked fine at the end of that. | ||
| And brain-wise, do you think he's alright? | ||
| Yeah, he's fine. | ||
| He's fine. | ||
| He's 100% fine. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with him. | ||
| But he's also, he's delishing. | ||
| He's dishing out way more punches. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dishing out more delicious punches. | ||
| Delicious. | ||
| He's just fucking people up so hard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's on a totally different confidence level than them. | ||
| He's on a totally different striking speed, wavelength. | ||
| He's just putting beatings on dudes, man. | ||
| And so because of that, he's not taking much damage. | ||
| But then you see some other dudes that he's fighting. | ||
| Some guys, he's fucking up. | ||
| And you gotta go, man, how many more fights like this can this guy have? | ||
| And every fighter has to sort of decide on their own. | ||
| They have to reach this sort of... | ||
| It's a tough thing to come to, man. | ||
| It's time to dip out. | ||
| Especially if that's how you make a living. | ||
| You don't know how you're going to pay your bills. | ||
| Not to mention the rush they get of being in the game. | ||
| Being part of prize fights. | ||
| You're fucking in an arena and people are... | ||
| Screaming when you enter the... | ||
| That's a rush you can't compare to anything you do in your regular fucking life. | ||
| Yeah, there's nothing like that. | ||
| There's nothing like that. | ||
| That's a hard thing to fucking put down. | ||
| It would be super hard to find something that can come even close. | ||
| You'd have to be like a fighter pilot or some shit. | ||
| They say that that's... | ||
| A lot of people are saying that's what Seau... | ||
| He played in the NFL for like 16 years, which is pretty much unheard of. | ||
| Especially as a linebacker. | ||
| And that, like, he just was depressed about not getting that rush anymore. | ||
| You know, being, like, in the games anymore. | ||
| Well, also, he had considerable brain damage. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| Yeah, that's the thing, man. | ||
| They say that brain damage. | ||
| They say once it fucks with your pituitary, your brain stops producing the right amount of testosterone, you get depressed from that. | ||
| You know, there's a lot of different factors that can lead to, like, some pretty severe depression because of brain trauma. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's one of the arguments against testosterone replacement for fighters, actually, is the traumatic brain injury argument. | ||
| I don't totally, completely understand it, but I think what they're saying is that if you get hit in the head enough, like James Toney was an example of it, you get hit in the head enough and your body's not going to produce testosterone the same way anymore. | ||
| But then I've heard other doctors say, and this kind of makes sense to me, well, hey, man, if you can't produce testosterone anymore because you got hit in the head so many times, maybe you should stop getting hit in the head. | ||
| That's a great lesson to learn. | ||
| It seems like that's the thing you should stop first. | ||
| Forget about trying to do anything to supplement your testosterone. | ||
| You've got to stop getting hit in the head because your brain's going to stop working. | ||
| It's just like, how many times can you hit your car with a hammer before the engine breaks? | ||
| It's like, enough. | ||
| There's great footage of James Toney sparring a few years back, and he's pretty out of shape in it, and he talks shit the entire time that he's sparring, and he's winded, but he's just like... | ||
| He's so technically talented, James Toney. | ||
| His shoulder rolls and his ability to figure out where you're punching and block you and cover you. | ||
| He's a brilliant boxer, man. | ||
| If you go back to the early days, like when he knocked out Michael Nunn, James Toney's a goddamn animal, man. | ||
| He's a power-punching, tough dude. | ||
| And he became a slick-ass boxer. | ||
| He just didn't have the same motivation to training that some other guys did. | ||
| If he trained like Roy Jones Jr. trained, man, what a fight that was. | ||
| Him and Roy Jones Jr., that was a fucking great fight. | ||
| Yeah, if he would have trained like Roy Jones... | ||
| Yeah, that was too bad. | ||
| It's too bad he never sort of recovered from that. | ||
| Did they fight again? | ||
| Did they ever fight again? | ||
| I don't know if they fought twice. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't think they did. | ||
| Why do I feel like they didn't? | ||
| But James Toney was one of the only major guys that ever tried to get into MMA. Oh yeah, he did, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he fought Randy Couture. | ||
| How did that go? | ||
| It didn't go so good. | ||
| Randy Couture just grabbed him and threw him on the ground, strangled him. | ||
| Like immediately? | ||
| Was it like a 10 second thing? | ||
| Yeah, it was a joke. | ||
| Oh Jesus. | ||
| He took him down with a low single, got him an ankle pick. | ||
| I guess they were trying to plan it. | ||
| They were trying to plan the second fight. | ||
| Oh really? | ||
| Yeah, but I think James Toney might be a heavyweight now. | ||
| Big boy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, they say that... | ||
| GT. Yeah. | ||
| They might... | ||
| They say Tony's like 240 pounds and Roy Jones, you know, is still fighting. | ||
| But he fights at like cruiserweight sometimes or light heavyweight sometimes. | ||
| James Tony's not going to drop down. | ||
| I've been watching Roy Jones fight, too. | ||
| It's depressing as shit. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's not like the old days of it. | ||
| It's not just like the old days. | ||
| He's getting knocked out a lot. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I've seen him knocked out a couple of times. | ||
| You know, he's a good analyst. | ||
| He's actually a good analyst. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He is. | |
| I don't know why he doesn't just fucking, you know, make that. | ||
| He needs money, man. | ||
| Apparently, if you listen to the internet, they say that he's another one of those dudes who didn't pay his taxes. | ||
| Jesus, man. | ||
| Yeah, he owes millions of dollars. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's ridiculous. | |
| Well, you know, someone tells you you don't have to pay, or someone's a shitty financial advisor, or you think you've got everything covered, and this is never going to go away. | ||
| Christ. | ||
| A lot of those guys don't have good accountants, man. | ||
| I know. | ||
| You've got to pay your money. | ||
| You've got to pay. | ||
| I don't think we should pay as much as we pay, but I think you've got to fucking pay. | ||
| You've got to pay, apparently. | ||
| I get a little pissed off when I find out about a guy that's been living high on the hog and owes millions of dollars in taxes. | ||
| Because we should all contribute. | ||
| You know this Obama argument that everybody's upset at him because he said if you run a small business, you didn't build that. | ||
| You didn't build the infrastructure. | ||
| That's what he meant. | ||
| You didn't build the streets. | ||
| And everybody was upset by that. | ||
| But in a lot of ways, that is true. | ||
| I mean, we do need to pay. | ||
| Everybody needs to pay a little bit of something. | ||
| It's just there should be some sort of an accounting problem. | ||
| You should be able to find out how you're spending the money. | ||
| It shouldn't be so goddamn wide open. | ||
| We have to give you money and then you do. | ||
| Especially if you're a guy like him. | ||
| How much money did that guy give them? | ||
| Roy Jones over the years in taxes? | ||
| Millions and millions and millions of dollars? | ||
| Millions. | ||
| He should have like, if it gets a certain number, he should be able to say, this is what we did with your money. | ||
| We went over it and we used all your millions to set up a base in Kosovo. | ||
| You actually set up a base over there. | ||
| That'd be really cool. | ||
| And people would be excited to know that shit too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, like what did I get? | |
| They really would be. | ||
| Well, if you think about like what Roy Jones spent or paid in taxes. | ||
| It's not done. | ||
| That's going to be your shit right there. | ||
| Yeah, this is the Tommy Segura stretch of the highway. | ||
| It's not done yet. | ||
| If you look at a guy like Roy Jones, how much do you think he made? | ||
| It had to be, I want to say $100 million. | ||
| I would say that's probably accurate. | ||
| Probably around there. | ||
| So, out of $100 million, let's get super crazy and say you have to pay 48%. | ||
| Because that's like the highest you can pay. | ||
| Without tax shelters and all that stuff that I'm sure a smart person would figure out or a good accountant. | ||
| So let's say he paid $48 million. | ||
| Let's just go nutty and use that as a number. | ||
| That's an insane amount of money. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Crazy. | |
| 48 million supports an army somewhere. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's like, what did he, what country did they overthrow with Roy Jones shooting in money? | ||
| It's your shit. | ||
| That's your shit, Roy. | ||
| Roy, remember when you knocked out Virgil here with that body shot? | ||
| Bam. | ||
| That's your jet, son. | ||
| Missiles and shit of yours, Roy. | ||
| God damn it, really? | ||
| This is twice in one podcast. | ||
| That's powerful Duncan Trussell. | ||
| He doesn't obviously watch our podcast, motherfucker. | ||
| How dare you, Duncan? | ||
| You just got sent a voicemail, son. | ||
| Can I tell your listeners to come see me this weekend? | ||
| You could say where you're playing, but don't tell them to come see you. | ||
| That's just gross. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, okay. | |
| You could say if you would like to come see some comedy. | ||
| But if you're like, hey man. | ||
| I was meaning it like that, you know. | ||
| Hey man, if you like comedy and you live in the Orange County maybe area. | ||
| Where are you going to be this weekend? | ||
| At the Brea Improv. | ||
| Only three shows. | ||
| Only three shows. | ||
| Which ones? | ||
| Thursday. | ||
| And Friday night. | ||
| And two Friday night. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Improv is a fucking phenomenal club. | ||
| Have fun there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's... | |
| You know, if you live in that area, there's not a whole lot of shit going on other than the movies and there might be like a bowling alley or some shit. | ||
| Come see the G.O.D. Dodge and Coyotes. | ||
| But they do have the improv. | ||
| The improv is fucking... | ||
| It's a... | ||
| It's a great club, and every week they have top-level talent there. | ||
| If you look at the improv roster, if you go by there, what a great thing that is to have in your town. | ||
| One week, it's this guy. | ||
| The next week, it's Tommy Segura. | ||
| The next week, it's Ari. | ||
| Joey Diaz headlines the improvs now, too. | ||
| It's such a great thing to have in your town, and that Brea improv is one of my favorites. | ||
| It's the first club I ever worked. | ||
| Have you done sets there, Brian? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| It's a fun club. | ||
| That place is tremendous. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| Joey was doing that Dirty Night there once a month, but I think he got a little too busy with all his little different side projects. | ||
| He's doing some Stip Camp. | ||
| Joey Diaz has a new podcast too, ladies and gentlemen, if you're big Joey Diaz's fans. | ||
| It's called The Church of What's Happening Now. | ||
| And it's on iTunes. | ||
| And it was like top four right away, of course. | ||
| Because Joey Diaz is one of the most fascinating human beings ever. | ||
| He's a monster. | ||
| We did Santa Barbara this weekend. | ||
| Holy shit, is that fucking fun. | ||
| Where did you do it there? | ||
| Oh, the Lobero Theater in Santa Barbara. | ||
| I think there's a lot of celebrities there. | ||
| A lot of celebrities, man, yeah. | ||
| So just a bunch of celebrities live out there, right? | ||
| Well, that's where we saw Carol Burnett. | ||
| But yeah, a lot of celebrities live out there. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| The weather is not perfect. | ||
| It's gorgeous out. | ||
| People are nice. | ||
| It's like really nice houses, old houses. | ||
| Houses around from the 1920s and shit like that. | ||
| It's just a gorgeous, gorgeous... | ||
| Primo place to live, man. | ||
| Yeah, beautiful, beautiful place. | ||
| And the people seem like a little bit more chill there. | ||
| You know, here we're so trapped in this fucking nutty hive. | ||
| You know, it's so... | ||
| It's so crazy and fast that I think that shit gets away from you, man. | ||
| I think we're better off when there's just a little less people. | ||
| And Santa Barbara, man, fucking amazing, amazing club. | ||
| They need a train, a super train that goes from Santa Barbara to L.A. in like 10 minutes. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| You say that, bro. | ||
| But you know what Duncan and I did? | ||
| We made a podcast. | ||
| I'll give it to you today so we can upload it. | ||
| But we just said, you know what? | ||
| Let's just make a podcast. | ||
| So I clipped my iPhone to my BMW. It has one of those little cup holder things. | ||
| M3, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| German engineering. | ||
| It has this little cup holder thing, and I clipped my phone to it, and we just did a podcast on my phone. | ||
| And it sounds great. | ||
| I mean, it doesn't sound like this, but it sounds like totally you can hear what we're saying. | ||
| And it's kind of cool. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Because it's like our first podcast in a car. | ||
| That's nice. | ||
| Yeah, you do that. | ||
| You do that. | ||
| It's an hour drive. | ||
| So you go with a buddy. | ||
| Say if you're going to do a show in Santa Barbara. | ||
| And you need to start doing that, man. | ||
| Branch out. | ||
| You can do shows everywhere now. | ||
| You're at the point now. | ||
| Brian's coming with me to Sacramento. | ||
| Brian's at the point he could be a fucking professional stand-up comedian. | ||
| He's like right there. | ||
| You're right there. | ||
| If you just push a little right now, you're a professional comedian. | ||
| You can do that. | ||
| And you have a built-in audience. | ||
| You'd be crazy not to do it. | ||
| You really would be. | ||
| You would totally be crazy not to do it because you can do it. | ||
| You get laughs. | ||
| You have some funny shit, man. | ||
| I don't want to say the joke because it gives it away. | ||
| I love that joke. | ||
| That's a great joke, man. | ||
| If you just kept chopping away at it and did it all the time, you could go on tour. | ||
| We could promote your shows. | ||
| That's ultimately what I think would be awesome. | ||
| If everybody came in and we're promoting your shows, we're promoting your shows, we could all be doing shows all across the country. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| And use this as, like, sort of a platform. | ||
| Come here during the week. | ||
| Everybody fucks around. | ||
| Everybody goes and does their shit on the weekend. | ||
| Yeah, that'd be awesome. | ||
| But this, you know, this using the podcast to, you know, to work as, like, a promotional platform for stand-up comedy shows. | ||
| Yeah, it's awesome. | ||
| It's the greatest fucking thing ever. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| Because people really get to know you, Tommy Bunn. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They do. | |
| It's not like you sit on a Tonight Show couch and you go, Tommy, I'm from Cleveland, huh? | ||
| What kind of comedy drive? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What kind of comedy drive? | |
| My podcast is the most fun that I have doing anything. | ||
| It's cool that you do yours with your wife and you actually still like each other. | ||
| We love it, man. | ||
| We love each other. | ||
| We have the most fun. | ||
| You guys have a lot of fun. | ||
| It's the best poop podcast I've ever heard. | ||
| It's not just poop, guys. | ||
| No, but you were a guest. | ||
| You were a guest recently. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And we've got to get you to come. | ||
| I would love to. | ||
| I would love to. | ||
| I'm doing Duncan's tomorrow, but I'll do yours one day next week. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| That'd be great. | ||
| Next week I'm trying to get Rich Roll, who's the vegan activist. | ||
| Because people have been saying you've got to get vegans. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, sure. | |
| But he's an athlete. | ||
| And I got Mac Danzig also, which is on Thursday, who's another vegan. | ||
| And a good friend of mine. | ||
| I had a vegan lunch today. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| So this is in response to vegans who are saying you need to get someone to do a counterpoint to Rob Wolf. | ||
| Because Rob Wolf, I had the Paleo Diet Guide, author of The Paleo Solution. | ||
| Coffee, bacon, and eggs. | ||
| He said, that's what you have for breakfast. | ||
| I was like, oh my god, I want to blow you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| I was like, I'm eating kale shakes every day, trying to stay healthy. | ||
| And this guy says, coffee, bacon, and eggs. | ||
| But I tried it, but I'm telling you, he's not correct. | ||
| You have this heavy feeling of like... | ||
| That's what the cigarette's for. | ||
| That's what the cigarette's for. | ||
| That's what the coffee is supposed to counteract. | ||
| But it can't fuck with kale shakes. | ||
| My morning kale shake is just, it's either that for me or hemp shakes. | ||
| That's all I drink in the morning. | ||
| And I have lots of energy, like plenty of energy during the day. | ||
| I think we have to be careful about how much stupid shit we put in our bodies. | ||
| And I would rather have no, like put nothing in there than stupid shit. | ||
| Not that bacon and eggs is necessarily stupid shit. | ||
| It's delicious shit. | ||
| It's delicious. | ||
| And I think your body processes fat and all that stuff. | ||
| It can process all those things. | ||
| It's all natural. | ||
| But it doesn't give you the same clean feeling as starting off with a vegetable shake. | ||
| So I'm going to have this guy. | ||
| We're going to talk to him. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| Because he wanted to. | ||
| He expressed himself. | ||
| He wanted to explain what the fuck is wrong with all these crazy meat eaters. | ||
| We had Red Band on. | ||
| And we also, if you guys go to Your Mom's House podcast, if you check out mine, we also had Yoshi on tell the story of when he ate Joey's banana bread. | ||
| And it's fucking... | ||
| Yoshi has a bunch of crazy We're good to go. | ||
| Like, at a party. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| And, like, tricked him in saying that that was acid. | ||
| And Jay Moore was, like, freaking out. | ||
| Like, that's some other comic told me, so I don't know if it's true or not. | ||
| A long time ago? | ||
| Yeah, like, a long time ago. | ||
| Yeah, you're gonna start another campaign. | ||
| So, I don't know if that's real. | ||
| Jay Moore's gonna be mad at you again. | ||
| But, supposedly, the story goes that Jay Moore was really freaking out. | ||
| But he was fucking with him, though. | ||
| Yeah, Joey Diaz was fucking with him the whole time. | ||
| It wasn't acid. | ||
| But, like, Jay Moore was freaking out because he was like, was that really acid? | ||
| Was that really acid? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're like... | |
| Well, that's like what we were talking about. | ||
| God, I don't remember what the phobia is. | ||
| I really wish I could remember the word. | ||
| Because I looked up the word that I thought it was, and that's not. | ||
| Allofrenia. | ||
| Allofrenia? | ||
| Is that right? | ||
| No. | ||
| Isn't that what I said already? | ||
| That's about the someone's crazy and you're around them kind of thing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That thing, you know, I mean, it kind of makes sense that if someone starts treating you like you're crazy... | ||
| Yeah, that makes sense. | ||
| And you start to act in the behavior that they're conditioning you to act in. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I do it to most of my ex-girlfriends. | ||
| Is that what you do to them? | ||
| That's how you control them, right? | ||
| Get them crazy and then move them in and stick their penis inside of them until it doesn't feel good anymore. | ||
| And then blame everything on them. | ||
| And then what else is the move? | ||
| Get fat. | ||
| That's a good move. | ||
| That's how you get rid of them. | ||
| So anyway, I'm going to offer the vegan point of view because I think I shit on vegans enough and there's a lot of people that are probably right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why is it such a big deal? | |
| Why can't people just eat meat and if you want to eat a little vegan? | ||
| I consider vegan like I'm eating Italian tonight. | ||
| Yeah, they don't though. | ||
| That's what's fascinating about it. | ||
| It's a lifestyle choice. | ||
| You're making a decision that you don't want to do anything that's going to harm the environment. | ||
| You don't want to do anything that's going to make your footprint larger. | ||
| It's kind of... | ||
| I mean, I see the point. | ||
| I just... | ||
| Someone's got to kill the animals. | ||
| You have to kill them. | ||
| Unless you're going to start sterilizing them at birth. | ||
| And then who the fuck are you to play doctor? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You can just chop off a deer's balls. | ||
| You got to kill them. | ||
| I'm going to bring fuga to chow that day. | ||
| I'm just going to eat their steak. | ||
| You little shit. | ||
| You son of a bitch. | ||
| And so you can... | ||
| Don't do that. | ||
| I wonder what the smell of burning meat is to a person who's a super hardcore vegan. | ||
| Probably nauseates them, I'm sure. | ||
| You know, they're not supposed to have honey. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Because bees are sleeved. | ||
| Oh, fuck on that, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck that shit. | |
| That can go fuck itself. | ||
| I got ten minutes on vegans in my new hour. | ||
| Oh, you do? | ||
| It might be ten minutes. | ||
| That's great, man. | ||
| There's so much silliness. | ||
| It's almost like being a Mormon. | ||
| Being a vegan is right up there with being a Mormon. | ||
| It's like at the end of it, you're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, what? | ||
| Bees? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bees? | |
| Bees are slaves? | ||
| It seems so extreme, man. | ||
| And I saw a guy trying to encourage someone to be a vegan. | ||
| Hey, don't worry about that, man. | ||
| Don't let honey stop you from being a vegan. | ||
| I mean, hey, I don't use it, but don't let that stop you. | ||
| Oh, I don't use it. | ||
| I'm super ultra-perfect vegan, man. | ||
| I don't use the honey. | ||
| That honey, man, means bees have souls, man. | ||
| Why put them to work? | ||
| Go fuck your mother. | ||
| Why steal their work, man? | ||
| I mean, how's that any different than what you accused Carlos Mencia of doing, man? | ||
| They're just taking the honey from these bees. | ||
| Shut your fucking stupid face. | ||
| Stupid hole. | ||
| You're a fucking asshole. | ||
| You're telling me that we can't figure out honey? | ||
| Honey is delicious. | ||
| Yeah, honey is awesome. | ||
| We don't have to make it. | ||
| These dumb cunt insects make it. | ||
| And we steal it from them. | ||
| And the way we steal it from them is with smoke. | ||
| These fucking stupid assholes. | ||
| You blow smoke on them and you scoop them up with a kitty litter shovel. | ||
| And you put them in a box and you close the stupid box and they buzz around for a little while. | ||
| And then you take all their fucking honey and you hack off those little babies that are growing in there. | ||
| You get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Those little embryos that are in there. | ||
| Cut all that shit out. | ||
| That's not necessary. | ||
| Just get me to that honey spot. | ||
| This bear likes honey. | ||
| Is all the embryos and the honey all together in the same thing? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| They're fascinating. | ||
| When I was a kid and I would find a beehive on the ground, did you do that and open them up? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| How weird was that when you see them in the little shuttle? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| The little fucking... | ||
| They're just like the alien. | ||
| They're just really tiny. | ||
| They're miniature aliens. | ||
| Especially if you watch them fuck up other insects. | ||
| Especially wasps. | ||
| There's a crazy documentary where it details this one wasp attack where they came in and killed these honeybees. | ||
| And it was an enormous wasp. | ||
| They were way bigger than the honeybees. | ||
| And it just comes in and just starts cutting the heads off the honeybees. | ||
| And this one swarm, this like thousand fucking honeybee colony was killed by like 30 of these wasps. | ||
| And it is fucking tough to watch, man. | ||
| I mean, it's just like, what would we do if these things were our size? | ||
| You wouldn't do jack shit. | ||
| I had wasps. | ||
| I walked into a wasp nest one time, like where one was, and they just fucking... | ||
| It stayed in my arm. | ||
| It keeps fucking you and stabbing you. | ||
| The thing about bees, too, I found out the queen has a stinger. | ||
| you know the queen bee has a stinger but she only uses it to kill queens oh really yeah they use it to kill virgin queens when you when you find a new queen like when someone's getting together and putting together a new queen you gotta jack that bitch or she'll come to take your spot because there can only be like one queen in the nest so they don't use it just on um on queens when they're out they'll fuck up queen embryos they'll fuck up what are they what are they called what I didn't know that. | ||
| What is a fetus? | ||
| What is the term for an insect fetus? | ||
| Any idea, Brian? | ||
| It's not an embryo, right? | ||
| No. | ||
| Whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| The infant thing inside the honeycomb, they stab them in the side. | ||
| And that's how they know when they've been attacked by another queen. | ||
| Like, she knows there's a hooker in that box. | ||
| She just stabs it with her ass. | ||
| So that's what their stingers are for. | ||
| Their stinger is not a stinger that injects venom. | ||
| It's just a sword to kill the babies. | ||
|
unidentified
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we're so lucky they're little We're so lucky they're little. | |
| If they were huge? | ||
|
unidentified
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Evil fucking cunts. | |
| Fuck bees. | ||
| We need to figure out a way to get honey through little robots. | ||
| Little tiny ass robot bees. | ||
| We should make drones that look like bees that make honey. | ||
| And how about we make drones that just look like bees, except they're way stronger and harder, and they come in and fuck all the bees in front of their boyfriends. | ||
| Can you imagine a bee like this size? | ||
| Robot bees with giant robot bee dicks. | ||
| Like dogs, like a small dog-sized bee? | ||
| Oh, fuck that. | ||
| We would have to have shotguns and fly swatters everywhere. | ||
| Big mace fly swatters. | ||
| And if they did stab you, it just goes through your back. | ||
|
unidentified
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You'd be fucked. | |
| You'd be fucked. | ||
| Yeah, one the size of a softball would kill you. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Just fuck your day off. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I mean, imagine, disembowel you from the fucking... | ||
| Eat you alive. | ||
| Oh, shit, man. | ||
| Make babies in your body. | ||
| That's a movie. | ||
| I want to fucking see that movie. | ||
| Tommy Bonds, you're the best. | ||
| Thanks for having me. | ||
| Thanks for being on. | ||
| Anytime, man. | ||
| I was glad to do you. | ||
| In a non-sexual way. | ||
| I was thinking that, you know, man, when was the last time we did a podcast with Tommy Bunce? | ||
| I want to have you on soon, and I also want to come back because I have a new album coming out. | ||
| When are you, what are you doing tomorrow night? | ||
| Tomorrow night. | ||
| What is tomorrow? | ||
| Wednesday night. | ||
| You want to do the Ice House with us? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Done, ladies and gentlemen! | ||
| So now, tomorrow night at the Ice House, it is Joey Diaz, it is Brian Callen, it is Duncan Trussell, and it's Tommy motherfucking Buns! | ||
| And I believe Brian Redband will be coming down to actually smoke the peace pipe with Duncan Trussell. | ||
| It should be an epic Death Squad event, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| So come on down. | ||
| And if you want to look fashionable when you're there, you're going to want to buy a Death Squad t-shirt. | ||
| And you go to Death Squad.tv. | ||
| And what does this money go to? | ||
| Well, money all goes to support the Death Squad Podcast Network, which is on iTunes. | ||
| If you go, there's a bunch of different podcasts there. | ||
| There is the Ice House Chronicles that we do at the Ice House, which is one of my favorite podcasts of all time because it's us. | ||
| It's all of the guys who are in town that come by to do shows. | ||
| Doug Stanhope's been on, Tom Rhodes. | ||
| Tom Segura's on at Friday. | ||
| Tom Segura's been on, Ian Edwards. | ||
| So many funny comedians. | ||
| And, of course, Ari and Joey. | ||
| And we put on these once a week, twice a week sometimes. | ||
| And it's like really some of the most fun shit that we do. | ||
| We get to fuck around and we get to loosen up before we go on stage and make a podcast at the same time and make each other laugh. | ||
| And then we've been doing these shows at the Ice House that are literally some of the funnest shows that I've ever done in my life. | ||
| And the club couldn't have been cooler. | ||
| It couldn't be a more positive karma space. | ||
| The Ice House has been around since 1961 or something crazy like that. | ||
| It's an old fucking club. | ||
| You stand in the room, the comedy room, when the doors are closed and the lights are off, and that place is... | ||
| It's buzzing still. | ||
| It's got energy from like 50 fucking years of comedy in that place. | ||
| That's an unusual place. | ||
| Yeah, and I love that fucking second stage room too. | ||
| They're both awesome. | ||
| The little room's awesome. | ||
| The little room might be the best little room in the country. | ||
| It's super small, it's tight-knit, but they're all like right there and there's two tiers, which is really rare in a small room. | ||
| That little room's amazing. | ||
| And this might be one of the best rooms ever for coming up with new shit. | ||
| For just fucking around and coming up with new material. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Which we'll be doing Wednesday night, ladies and gentlemen, with Joey Diaz, a.k.a. | ||
| Madfly. | ||
| You gonna come, bitch? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I'm feeling pretty shitty right now. | ||
| I think I was at the dentist and all my medicine is worn off, so now I think I have this migraine or something going on now. | ||
| What do they have to drill? | ||
| My skin plant came undone. | ||
| Ouch. | ||
| Were you going on a cob or something? | ||
| No. | ||
| Chewing gum. | ||
| Chewing gum? | ||
| Really? | ||
| Do they tell you not to? | ||
| Tommy, why don't you go pee? | ||
| Where can people go see you? | ||
| Where are you at this weekend? | ||
| Brea Improv. | ||
| Powerful Brea Improv. | ||
| Just Thursday and Friday. | ||
| Thursday and Friday. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Tommy Bones. | |
| If you go to TomSegura.com, it has all my, the list thing, I can send you notifications. | ||
| TomSegura.com. | ||
| And you can follow Tom on Twitter also. | ||
| S-E-G-U-R-A. You dirty bitches. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And your shirt. | |
| Thank you. | ||
| Your mom's house podcast. | ||
| Your mom's house podcast. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The new Top Dog shirt. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Come check it out. | ||
| Great design. | ||
| So tomorrow I will be doing the Duncan Trussell Family Hour, so no Joe Rogan Experience podcast. | ||
| And then Thursday I'll be back with Mac Danzig, so that should be a lot of fun. | ||
| And Wednesday night we are at the Ice House, and this Friday night I'm in Sacramento with Brian and Sam Tripoli. | ||
| Hottest girls in this city. | ||
| And it's sold out, so go fuck yourself. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| Is there a UFC or anything? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just one in and out. | |
| Yeah, just one. | ||
| I just decided to drop into... | ||
| I never get down to Sacramento. | ||
| It's a cool city, but I'm hardly ever there. | ||
| I don't remember what the name of the place is. | ||
| It's like the Crest Theater or something. | ||
| Yeah, the Crest Theater. | ||
| I heard it's a really nice theater. | ||
| Well, we'll find out. | ||
| And then next week, the week after that, is Toronto at Massey Hall. | ||
| And I understand that there's some ridiculous scalping going on and that people are telling me that the tickets are like $300. | ||
| I heard something weird the other day. | ||
| About one of your shows that was cancelled, and they charged a ridiculous amount of money extra for some reason, and then when the show got cancelled, they didn't get the whole amount back. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Where'd you hear this? | ||
| Fuck, who told me this? | ||
| Somebody in Columbus, Ohio, it was... | ||
| One of the guys from... | ||
| So there's like a cancellation fee or something like that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Even though it wasn't their... | ||
| They didn't cancel? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| The venue canceled? | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they say... | ||
| And it was like something like... | ||
| This guy's like out a lot of money. | ||
| I need to find out what the... | ||
| That might be not correct or correct. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| We'll have to find out. | ||
| But anyway, folks, listen, thank you very much for everything. | ||
| You guys are the fucking coolest human beings we've ever come in contact with. | ||
| You know, we talk about it all the time. | ||
| I mean, Aubrey talks about it when he deals with customers at Onnit, and we talk about it when we do these comedy shows. | ||
| We're lucky as fuck, man. | ||
| Just whatever we're sending out there, the fact that you guys are picking it up in such a positive way and responding in such a positive way. | ||
| I mean, there's no way to say this without sounding super corny, but it's enriched the fuck out of all of our lives. | ||
| It's made us feel like we're really connected to something that can really help and change the way people feel. | ||
| And don't think we think that is in any small way... | ||
| I just don't think that we ever take it for granted. | ||
| It's a weird thing to talk about it because it's a very strange situation to find yourself in when we just started doing this podcast just fucking around and thinking we're just going to talk shit and put it on the internet and maybe people would giggle. | ||
| And then having people come up to me everywhere I go telling me now I've lost 50 pounds, I started doing jujitsu, I changed my life, started reading The War of Art. | ||
| I didn't shoot myself. | ||
| We hear that all the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's the scary one. | |
| That's the scary one. | ||
| It's one of the scary ones. | ||
| And people said they don't have anybody like us near them. | ||
| And it's not that they don't think like us. | ||
| They think just like us. | ||
| They're free thinkers. | ||
| They're open-minded. | ||
| They're trying to be nice to people. | ||
| It's just sometimes we are defined by our environment. | ||
| But no long, you fucks. | ||
| Now we're all connected by this crazy thing. | ||
| And this podcast is a big part of it for us. | ||
| And we know that it's a big part of it for you. | ||
| And we don't take that for granted in any way. | ||
| We love the fuck out of you guys. | ||
| So thank you very much. | ||
| Thanks for all the positive vibes, all the positive tweets, all that good shit. | ||
| And I'll see you guys on Thursday. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alright, hollow! |
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