Sept. 10, 2012 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:19:47
Participants
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| I think we sold so many Fleshlights that it was impossible for them to sell more because everyone who listens to this show is a pervert. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No way. | |
| They had tapped the market. | ||
| So what? | ||
| I mean, you can only advertise with someone for so long. | ||
| I mean, everybody who listens to this show has heard about the Fleshlight by now. | ||
| It makes sense that they wouldn't be a sponsor anymore. | ||
| So they decided to sever the relationship? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fleshlight backed out? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it's not that they backed out. | ||
| It's just we ended it. | ||
| We did it for a long time. | ||
| This is totally amicable. | ||
| They're very nice guys. | ||
| Everybody knows where Coca-Cola is, but you keep advertising. | ||
| Yeah, I'm not running any companies, man. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| I tweet them still. | ||
| I still talk to them. | ||
| There's a good video that they just posted that's crazy. | ||
| They just couldn't keep up with it. | ||
| The first product ever where they stopped advertising because they couldn't keep up with the demand. | ||
| I don't know if that's true. | ||
| I'm just joking around about that. | ||
| And you know what you would think? | ||
| It makes sense. | ||
| The only product ever is a fake vagina. | ||
| That's the only one that they'd run out of materials. | ||
| I don't understand what you're saying. | ||
| That skin is rare. | ||
| You know how they make that skin? | ||
| Yeah, it's actually a food-based product. | ||
| I'm chewing on one right now. | ||
| You're chewing on one? | ||
| It's not really like a plastic. | ||
| You could almost digest it with your body. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| You gotta check out the... | ||
| They just posted a video. | ||
| She's all, what the fuck did I walk into? | ||
| Yeah, what did we walk into? | ||
| This isn't even our real sponsor. | ||
| We're actually sponsored by Onnit.com, makers of Alpha Brain, Shroom Tech, Shroom Tech Sport, Shroom Tech Immune. | ||
| And also, we recently got hacked, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Yeah, we got hacked. | ||
| They got a hold of some encrypted data. | ||
| It's all explained at Onnit.com forward slash breach. | ||
| And because of that, they're offering... | ||
| An 18% discount off of everything for the next couple of days. | ||
| So you just use the code name GotYourBack. | ||
| People are very bummed out over there that someone hacked into the system. | ||
| But that's just the way it goes, man. | ||
| If you're online, someone can get you. | ||
| Those little script kiddies, those bad motherfuckers. | ||
| Apparently, it wasn't the best setup at Onnit. | ||
| They've radically improved it because of that, and they feel terrible about it. | ||
| They just didn't know. | ||
| It's a fairly new company. | ||
| I've been hacked three times at just a gas station this year. | ||
| I mean, I've had to change all my shit because of gas stations. | ||
| Gas stations all the time. | ||
| Something happens when you run your car through that thing. | ||
| The one you just stick in? | ||
| Yeah, when you slide it through. | ||
| When you run your car through and then you put in your zip code, apparently some of them are rigged. | ||
| And some of them just copy your information. | ||
| And then they have to figure out which gas station it was, where were you when it happened, which machine did you use? | ||
| And then they find out and go in the machine and find out who rigged it. | ||
| Like some employee or something rigged it. | ||
| Yeah, it could be that. | ||
| It could be a third party that transmits that data. | ||
| It's really pretty sophisticated stuff. | ||
| It's really nuts, really. | ||
| But there's a lot of money in organized crime, and stealing credit cards is a big part of it. | ||
| And so it's just fucking super common. | ||
| If you're online, people are going to go after you. | ||
| That discount also works on kettlebells and battle ropes. | ||
| So all shit to become manly. | ||
| Go get some. | ||
| Alright, and thanks to Alienware MMA for hooking us up with some dope laptops. | ||
| And go to deathsquad.tv and pick yourself up some cat shirts. | ||
| Yeah, that's the kind of shirts that I like. | ||
| Are you gonna keep selling the first one? | ||
| No, but I do have, like, a box of the old ones left over that I might eventually put on sale. | ||
| There's only, like, a hundred of them left. | ||
| The old one is dope. | ||
| I like the new one, but the old one, I would love it if you had that for sale as well, because I just think it's the shit. | ||
| That cat, though, is awesome. | ||
| That cat is the future. | ||
| All right, you dirty bitches. | ||
| Cat Von D is here. | ||
| Buckle the fuck up, the real cat. | ||
| Play the music, Brian, so it can be official. | ||
| You don't talk about mushrooms. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Joe Rogan Experience. | |
| Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. | ||
| There's a lot of shit over at honor.com, Eddie Bravo Audio. | ||
| I don't have to talk about all the products. | ||
| Okay, so sometimes you go, I'm not going to get rid of it. | ||
| Yeah, sometimes I just half-ass it. | ||
| Because for a while there, dude, I was very impressed with your enthusiasm and your passion during those commercials. | ||
| My enthusiasm and the passion is still there. | ||
| Every time. | ||
| Well, it's just based on reality. | ||
| People ask me all the time, dude, is that shit for real? | ||
| People ask me that all the time. | ||
| I'm like, dude, Joe would not be involved in some shit that didn't work. | ||
| He's only involved in shit that works. | ||
| Trust me. | ||
| I take it every day. | ||
| You don't have to get mine. | ||
| If you're interested in nootropics, there's a lot of stuff that you can get on your own and just buy it in bulk and it's way cheaper than doing this like what we've done. | ||
| But just go Google it. | ||
| It's fascinating shit. | ||
| It's vitamins for your brain. | ||
| It works. | ||
| You don't need that, you clever woman. | ||
| No. | ||
| You're on top of shit already. | ||
| Imagine her tattoos on it, on Shroom Tuck. | ||
| My friend Eddie Bravo is here with Kat Von D because Kat Von D actually wrote on Eddie Bravo's chest. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Well, I tattooed on it. | ||
| Pull it up. | ||
| I haven't shaved my chest in a long time, so it's kind of a Paul Stanley-ish. | ||
| Paul Stanley-ish. | ||
| That's my grandmother. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I love that tattoo. | ||
| How long ago did we do that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was three years ago. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| That is what I think is the most impressive style of artwork, that reproduction of portraits. | ||
| It freaks me out. | ||
| In a good way? | ||
| I saw this girl last night that had her father on her arm as a child, though, and it was just this little child on her arm, and I'm like, has anyone ever tried to, like, is it messy? | ||
| Is it weird when people are like, you know, like I try to make him blink? | ||
| You know, like as a baby and like fuck her with the face and it's like, is that weird to you? | ||
| She goes, no, this guy's cummed on it before and I made him lick it off and I'm like, what? | ||
| Like, that's just crazy. | ||
| Like, those realistic tattoos. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Okay, Brian. | ||
| I don't know what the hell he just said. | ||
| I think Brian needs to go to it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Seriously. | |
| You need to go take some medicine. | ||
| I think, for a second, then I'm like, damn, I smoked too much weed. | ||
| I smoked too much weed. | ||
| No, I think Brian did. | ||
| You just went too deep, right? | ||
| You just ran up a ramp covered in Vaseline, son. | ||
| I definitely smoked too much weed on that. | ||
| You lost me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I have to deal with him by myself sometimes. | ||
| I was trying to remember the story. | ||
| And he acts like I'm crazy. | ||
| I was trying to remember the story that happened last night, but then I was too stoned to remember it, so then I was trying to stumble while telling a story. | ||
| You just gotta slow down, son. | ||
| It's gonna be okay. | ||
| The crazy thing about how this tattoo came about Her shop was one block away from Old Legends. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Wait, what's Old Legends? | ||
| Legends is an MMA gym that was in Hollywood. | ||
| It was a kickboxing gym just right down the street from your shop. | ||
| So I would pass by to go home. | ||
| I lived in New West Hollywood. | ||
| I would pass by to and from work all the time and always see your tech. | ||
| I never saw your show, but I knew who you were from the billboards around Hollywood and shit. | ||
| But I never, ever, not once thought about ever getting a tattoo for me. | ||
| I just didn't think about it. | ||
| And then what happened? | ||
| My guy, Carson Hill, you know, I have this tattoo artist who's awesome. | ||
| His name is Carson Hill. | ||
| He's in LA. Fucking amazing. | ||
| But I'm cool with him. | ||
| I'm only gonna let him fuck with my shit now. | ||
| That's what I was thinking. | ||
| But then, after like a year of just passing by your shop, I ended up at the UFC in Dallas. | ||
| We were in Dallas, and there wasn't shit to do. | ||
| And I used to work for the UFC. And I'm sitting there in my hotel room and the ALMA show comes up, that ALMA Awards. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I was there. | ||
| It was my mom. | ||
| I took my mom. | ||
| Yeah, so I'm watching the ALMA Awards, the Latino Celebrity Awards or whatever. | ||
| And I'm watching that, you know, being Latin. | ||
| And I'm like, oh shit, I didn't know that white dude was fucking half Mexican. | ||
| Like actors are coming up and rock stars. | ||
| I thought you were talking about me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no, no. | |
| And then Kat Von D comes up, and I'm like, oh shit! | ||
| She's Mexican? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit, I didn't know that. | |
| Well, I was born in Mexico, but my family's from Argentina, so I'm Latina, but I'm all mixed up. | ||
| Damn, your family's from Argentina? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow, that's cool. | ||
| So at that point, let me finish this real quick. | ||
| At that point, now she's in my head. | ||
| I'm like, oh, she's Mexican. | ||
| So that was Friday afternoon, Monday, first class. | ||
| After class, it's 11 o'clock at night. | ||
| I'm driving past her shop. | ||
| It's closed up. | ||
| And I'm thinking, a wild hair, just a delusional thought. | ||
| Hey, maybe I could get her to do a tattoo on me and film it and put it on my show. | ||
| Me thinking like she would actually do it. | ||
| I'm thinking for 10 seconds, I'm thinking... | ||
| That's a good idea. | ||
| But then as I made a ride on Santa Monica Boulevard, I'm like, She's so famous, she would never do that! | ||
| I'm like, what a crazy dumb thought. | ||
| I go home, take a shower, to get a late night bite to eat at Kitchen 24, by myself. | ||
| I just walked in. | ||
| I sat there, and this girl comes up to me that I knew from a long time ago, Jason's ex-girlfriend, Jason Chambers' ex-girlfriend, comes up and goes, Eddie, what's up? | ||
| And she gives me a hug and goes, oh shit, and she looks at me and goes, you should let Kat Von D tattoo you! | ||
| I'm like, that is crazy, because I was just thinking that an hour and a half ago. | ||
| That's insane, or whatever. | ||
| I'm like, that's a pretty crazy synchronicity. | ||
| And then she goes, no, but I'm serious. | ||
| I could actually get you on the show. | ||
| I'm like, what? | ||
| She goes, yeah, I work on the show. | ||
| They hired me. | ||
| This shit ain't real. | ||
| She was such an idiot, that chick. | ||
| It's just interesting that you came in riding on that vehicle because it really honestly would have probably worked more against you than for you, but somehow you made it through. | ||
| She was bros with the casting director and she goes, the casting director loves UFC. She wasn't bros with anyone. | ||
| Well, she did get me on the show. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And for that, I am grateful for her. | ||
| Oh, well, thank you. | ||
| It's funny when shit works that way. | ||
| When you have some weird idea and all of a sudden it becomes reality. | ||
| The next morning, I meet the casting director and he said, let's do it, because he's a big UFC fan. | ||
| And I was just right there on the show. | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| Originally, they go, Kat is very picky on who she does tattoos with. | ||
| So if she doesn't pick you, will you go with the other two? | ||
| And I said, no. | ||
| Were you on the fence at all? | ||
| Well, you know, when we would film the show, there was like a screening process. | ||
| So I would get these lists of different ideas and requests, I guess. | ||
| And so I would, based on the artwork, I would filter through and do the ones that I knew that I was capable of or I'd be excited about. | ||
| But they wouldn't really tell me much about the person coming in because they wanted it to be all natural on camera and stuff. | ||
| So I didn't know... | ||
| I think I knew very minimal. | ||
| Other than your name, I didn't know. | ||
| Yeah, she didn't know. | ||
| She didn't know. | ||
| Very strange. | ||
| Yeah, I said I wouldn't do it. | ||
| I felt it was so crazy that I thought of it that night. | ||
| An hour and a half later, some chick makes it happen. | ||
| I thought it was so crazy that I said, no, I won't do it unless Kat does it. | ||
| I'm not interested. | ||
| Yeah, that is really odd when things like that happen. | ||
| Because there's no denying that statistically, put that shit on paper. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| That's a real story. | ||
| Put the thought into your head on paper and then meeting. | ||
| What are the odds of that? | ||
| That's like fucking millions to one. | ||
| It's almost like the story of your life is like the writers are working on it less and it's just getting shittier and easier for things to happen. | ||
| It's like, instead of it being some complicated fucking war and peace epic of complicated I do twining personalities. | ||
| No, I just think about some shit and the next day you get a phone call. | ||
| It's like, what? | ||
| No, an hour and a half later. | ||
| Imagine if you had a bunch of magic gifts and you didn't know about them and you were just using them on tattoos and shit when you could maybe fly or breathe underwater or something. | ||
| You might have had a magic gift and you made it happen. | ||
| Maybe you get a handful of those in your life and you just decided to do that and make it happen. | ||
| Yeah, it's crazy. | ||
| Actually, when you think about it, even if you had like little magic, like the ability to make something happen, a few gifts like that in your life, you're really not going to be able to do anything that's truly supernatural. | ||
| I mean, that would have already been done already. | ||
| So like when you look at someone who's got like a tattoo is actually one of the best things you can do. | ||
| Get something that's permanent artwork on your skin that to you, I know, means an incredible amount. | ||
| And to get it from someone like her, and to get it all in one big... | ||
| That really is better than most magic tricks. | ||
| It's insane, right? | ||
| It's fucking incredible. | ||
| I was trying to tell the story to the producers. | ||
| They didn't want to hear that, because they didn't want to hear that one of the chicks that worked on the show pulled string. | ||
| They didn't want to make that part of the show. | ||
| Yeah, because it breaks the walls of reality. | ||
| When I was telling that story, I'm like, I got an incredible story, but they go, we don't want to hear that story. | ||
| Oh, that's a great story. | ||
| Why wouldn't they tell that story? | ||
| Because then it shows that someone got dragged in and pulled... | ||
| But, you know, I think, too, I think it's smarter on the, I mean, you know, the relatability on that in comparison to your actual story, you know, like what you do and what it took to get you there and the meaning behind the tattoos, a lot more, I guess, you know, it resonates with the viewer much more than saying, oh, yeah, hey, this is a Hollywood moment. | ||
| I was at fucking, you know, a cafe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Well, I wouldn't think of it as a Hollywood moment, though. | ||
| I think for him, it's just a crazy piece of synchronicity. | ||
| Yeah, and I think we ended up actually talking about that kind of stuff anyway, like, throughout the session. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I may have told you that story before. | ||
| Are you a big fan of synchronicity? | ||
| Do you experience it in your life? | ||
| Yeah, I'm a big fan of being the master of your own reality, I think. | ||
| You know, it's not so much about wishing your way through something or manifesting it, but, you know, I think certain mental attitudes or mentalities that are more productive than others. | ||
| Well, we know that certain attitudes, I mean, you've talked about it, like that John Sarno back thing, like if you have like some sort of a, like, you could be upset or angry at things. | ||
| And have a bad back and think that your bad back is actually like an injury. | ||
| It's not even an injury. | ||
| It literally is your own brain causing your body to knot up in some sort of a crazy way that's painful. | ||
| It deprives... | ||
| I don't know the exact science behind it, but when you have some serious stress in your life, somehow... | ||
| This is a theory that I heard. | ||
| I didn't make this up. | ||
| Your body... | ||
| The pain is real. | ||
| Your body will... | ||
| They suffocate or deprive oxygen to your back muscles, and then they get really sore and tight. | ||
| That's what happens when you get nervous or stressful. | ||
| That's the theory. | ||
| It kind of makes sense because I have a back story as well, but I don't want to get into that, but I believe it. | ||
| That's a long story. | ||
| We're here to talk about it. | ||
| Yeah, but my thinking was that, you know, you really do change a lot of shit with your mind. | ||
| I mean, your mind, just in the things that you come up with, like your artwork, doesn't ever feel like sometimes, like, where the fuck is this coming from? | ||
| This is almost like, it's coming out of nowhere. | ||
| It's coming out of your creativity. | ||
| It's coming out of this weird place in your mind, and then all of a sudden it's manifesting itself in this beauty. | ||
| Does it ever, like, freak you out? | ||
| I don't know if it freaks me out. | ||
| I just get excited about things. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm in love with my job. | ||
| I can't even call it my job. | ||
| That would be so weird to say that. | ||
| I guess I'm the luckiest person on the planet. | ||
| I think it's just more perspective, really. | ||
| I've been tattooed since I was 14 years old. | ||
| I got into my first tattoo shop when I was 16. Illegally, obviously. | ||
| And I never went through a traditional apprenticeship or anything like that. | ||
| But then this funny idea for a TV show happened when I was like 21, 22. And it changed the dynamics of things. | ||
| At the time I was drinking and partying a lot, so I'm sober now. | ||
| I almost had resentment towards people after doing a lot of the same stuff over and over again and the expectations that come in, it kind of rapes the art at times. | ||
| For me, I just wanted to create. | ||
| I just wanted to draw or tattoo and do my best. | ||
| And then the story behind the tattoo and all that, it gets pretty heavy after a while. | ||
| But then something flipped and I saw each opportunity Each tattoo has an opportunity to connect with people. | ||
| I think I'm always looking for that. | ||
| I sound like a hippie, but I like making people feel good about things and about life, whether it's about death or whatever. | ||
| It does sound like a hippie, but it's beautiful. | ||
| It's a weird thing that we mock stuff like that. | ||
| I don't. | ||
| I mock myself more than anything because I catch myself sounding that way. | ||
| I do as well. | ||
| Yeah, I catch myself sounding like a retard. | ||
| I'm like, what are you talking about, idealistic fool? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Synchronicity and shit. | |
| But that would be the best way to live if we all could figure out how to tune in like that and everybody could. | ||
| I feel like I'm always at my most creative when I'm being... | ||
| Like, generous and kind and nice to as many people as possible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Experience the, you know, a good connectivity with all the human beings you interact with. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| You feel better. | ||
| You feel like it's working better. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, I think you recognize your power as an individual, you know, and I think, like, intentions are really important. | ||
| You know, there's, like, this little thing that I do, and I think I've only told, like, one person about it at the end of every tattoo. | ||
| I put this paper towel on the tattoo, and I... I put like witch hazel, which is like a natural astringent and stuff. | ||
| And it's like I always like hold my hands over it for a minute. | ||
| And I think that the client most of the time thinks I'm just like cleaning it off or something. | ||
| But in my mind, I'm thinking like several words. | ||
| And this is really going to sound like a crazy, I don't know, like voodoo hippie thing. | ||
| But I just think these three words and it's like a transfer of energy and whatever. | ||
| What are the three words? | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| You can't tell me the three words? | ||
| Really? | ||
| What are they? | ||
| Secret? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| They're just words. | ||
| Why would you? | ||
| No, it's impossible to kill your magic. | ||
| It's impossible to kill your magic. | ||
| Unless it's something like rainbow chicken salad. | ||
| No, I want to hear that. | ||
| No, I want to hear it. | ||
| Why can't you tell us? | ||
| It's just words. | ||
| It's not just words. | ||
| I'm just kidding. | ||
| Well, I mean, I think you would help people. | ||
| You would fire them up. | ||
| Maybe they start doing that with their life. | ||
| Well, I mean, people have mantras and stuff and, you know, whatever works for you. | ||
| But they want to try the Cap Von D mantra. | ||
| It's been so successful. | ||
| Once it's on t-shirts, then forget it. | ||
| Maybe you have some magic. | ||
| You should, like, give it up. | ||
| I do have magic. | ||
| We all have magic. | ||
| But, no, the purpose being is that there's, like, intention behind everything you do. | ||
| And I think that's really important. | ||
| Because there is, like, a physical aspect of energy. | ||
| You know, when people are, like, vibes and all that stuff. | ||
| There's actual energy that you're putting out into the world. | ||
| So... | ||
| And focus. | ||
| I mean, we all know when someone's not focusing on us when you're having a conversation, when they're looking at their phone or doing something else. | ||
| Yeah, or you know, like when you meet people and they're just like, they're just dickheads or they're angry or they're having a bad day or it's hot or whatever. | ||
| And I've like witnessed it before where I can like bring... | ||
| I recognize my power to do that. | ||
| I remember one time I was driving down La Brea and the chick behind me wasn't paying attention and she totally crashed into my car. | ||
| And then the guy behind her wasn't paying attention and he crashed into her. | ||
| And his airbags went off and all this shit. | ||
| My car is pretty stealth. | ||
| I don't even think I got a ding on it. | ||
| The cars behind me were just tin cans. | ||
| I just remember getting out of the car now. | ||
| I'm wearing full leather and tattooed. | ||
| I'm like, that could be pretty intimidating. | ||
| I'm like, okay, I'm going to consciously make these people feel okay. | ||
| She rolled down her window and she's like... | ||
| I just remember going, hey, are you okay? | ||
| Just looking in her eye and asking if she's okay. | ||
| She just softened. | ||
| Don't kill me! | ||
| You look like some crazy gangbanger chick. | ||
| Yeah, you look like you could do some damage. | ||
| Yeah, if I was a chick, I would be so bummed out if I rear-ended you. | ||
| No, afterwards we were all laughing about it. | ||
| It would suck. | ||
| I think that we have the power to do that. | ||
| Most people get all up in arms about things, and I just realized... | ||
| I read something when I was a kid that nothing has any meaning other than the meaning that you give it. | ||
| Yeah, totally. | ||
| And you could force things to be positive. | ||
| You could force all negative situations to be opportunities for growth. | ||
| You know, you can. | ||
| You can. | ||
| It's a way. | ||
| You can live your life like that. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| Or you could be a fuckhead just slamming into walls everywhere. | ||
| And live in misery. | ||
| Never figure it out. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| You got your first tattoo when you were 16? | ||
| No, I got my first tattoo when I was 14, actually. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Was it good? | ||
| Yeah, I still have it. | ||
| It's like a little J on my ankle. | ||
| It was for my first love ever, and we dated for like three years. | ||
| Wow, that's intense. | ||
| Yeah, I ran away, moved across the country on a Greyhound bus. | ||
| How old were you when you did that? | ||
| By then I was 15 when I moved across, and then I was already tattooing and stuff. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Now you can put a Z under it and then put 99 problems in quotes. | ||
| I don't know that, but I just tell people it stands for Jesus. | ||
| Or just kidding. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just kidding? | |
| That's funny. | ||
| Yeah, you know. | ||
| Wow, that's a really young age to be traveling across the country. | ||
| I know, my poor parents, man. | ||
| And I had a hard time, I think, forgiving myself for a long time because I'm really close with my dad and stuff. | ||
| He actually lived with me up until recently and he got his own place and I was pretty bummed about that. | ||
| Yeah, at the time I was like, oh, you know, I never wanted to hurt anybody's feelings. | ||
| I just really felt like the need to do this thing that my family didn't understand, you know. | ||
| And they're from a different culture, like I said, and stuff, so they weren't really prepared for, you know, they assumed like, tattooing, oh my god, you're like a hoodlum or a gangster or a drug addict or a hooker or whatever, you know. | ||
| I was none of the above. | ||
| So they never put in their head, you're doing tattoos, boom, you're going to be some crazy famous chick. | ||
| We lived a really isolated world. | ||
| The way we were brought up was not very Americanized at all. | ||
| Which I'm glad because I feel like that's really honestly one of the things I credit to being able to do all the things I've done is just the discipline. | ||
| The three of us, my brother Sis and I, we were all classically trained on the piano since I was six. | ||
| Two hours a day we had to practice when we would rather be hanging out and stuff. | ||
| We were way too bored to afford video games and shit like that. | ||
| So I drew all the time and spent time with my family and stuff. | ||
| So for that, I'm grateful. | ||
| I feel like that discipline really plays into executing ideas. | ||
| I have millions of ideas at all times. | ||
| I think a lot of people have ideas and they've been programmed to think it's not attainable or something, which is silly to me. | ||
| Yeah, well there's that hump that you have to get over in associating pleasure with getting things done. | ||
| Yeah, and also I think, too, it's like people's idea of success is so warped, you know? | ||
| It's like they base it on money or status or fame. | ||
| And to be honest with you, when I started tattooing, I didn't even know it was a job. | ||
| I just knew it felt organic and it felt, like, natural. | ||
| It didn't come to me naturally. | ||
| I worked really hard for it, but it felt like this is where I was supposed to be, you know? | ||
| And this is granted before, like, a television show and stuff. | ||
| It was, you know... | ||
| I just came from Disneyland. | ||
| It was like... | ||
| If I would have gone to Disneyland back then, like, you know, you don't get... | ||
| Happy smiles and stuff. | ||
| I had so many Julia Roberts moments going into stores. | ||
| It's like, can we help you? | ||
| And I'm just like, I could buy this place. | ||
| So they just immediately judge you? | ||
| That's a common thing? | ||
| I think when I was younger, yeah. | ||
| Nowadays, it's so embraced. | ||
| My dad, who is super anti-tattoos and doesn't have any or anything, it took 10 years of me tattooing because I started tattooing on that TV show after 10 years of tattooing. | ||
| It took a television show for my dad to actually, you know, acknowledge the fact that I wasn't, like, not a loser, but, you know, like, that I wasn't throwing my life away. | ||
| He's like, oh, and sometimes it takes that. | ||
| I don't hold that against my dad. | ||
| I mean, I don't blame him, really, you know. | ||
| You've influenced a lot of chicks in, like, how they look. | ||
| Like, you were the first one that, like, popped through. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And boys, Joe. | ||
| The first one who was like a really hot chick who just tattooed herself the fuck up. | ||
| It's like, whoa, this chick went for it. | ||
| And guys were like, I like it. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| And then boom. | ||
| Then there was a wave of them. | ||
| It was you. | ||
| And then it was like everywhere you look, there's these crazy tattooed up girls. | ||
| Like the percentage of it... | ||
| I don't know what... | ||
| I'll put a number on it. | ||
| Increased by like 30, 40, 50 percent? | ||
| It went from however minimal amount of women tattooed to like one out of three women have tattoos in America. | ||
| And that was like back... | ||
| I remember that stat when I did the Ellen DeGeneres show, which was like years ago. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| It's probably more now. | ||
| Do you look at the stats like we're winning, we're taking over? | ||
| No, no, no, because I never... | ||
| I actually, you know, I mean, I have friends that have no tattoos and they like feel the need to get one. | ||
| I'm like, I don't know, I like you the way you are, you know? | ||
| It's good. | ||
| I mean, I get tattooed for myself personally, you know? | ||
| If anything, it's kind of... | ||
| It's kind of a drag sometimes. | ||
| I don't really feel like always talking about my tattoos when I'm going out and stuff, but it's also a positive thing. | ||
| I can't complain. | ||
| I love art. | ||
| Yeah, it's a weird thing with people. | ||
| If they either have them or they don't have them. | ||
| If they don't have them, they could never imagine. | ||
| I can never imagine drawing something. | ||
| It just stays on you forever. | ||
| Suicide girls, they owe you big time. | ||
| You blew that company up, right? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Well, that whole look. | ||
| Yeah, they need to worship you. | ||
| I think I tattooed the guy who came up with that whole concept a while ago. | ||
| Do you feel weird about that? | ||
| I mean, that's got to be a strange thing to have so much influence. | ||
| I may not have recognized it when I first started being in the public eye or whatever. | ||
| Until I got sober, I think I really started recognizing that and it became important to me. | ||
| I'm pretty PG-13 just by nature. | ||
| I'm pretty squeaky clean. | ||
| You could take my phone and go through it and find pictures of my cat and stuff. | ||
| Probably not anything incriminating. | ||
| I like the idea of like putting that good stuff out there, you know, like all my books and everything. | ||
| It's really easy for me to talk about my downfalls or like my issues or not struggles because that sounds like I'm a martyr or something. | ||
| But like, you know, the shit I've experienced in hopes that, I don't know, people would feel less alone because I know what it's like to feel that way. | ||
| So, you know, I don't know. | ||
| That's what a lot of people say about people that are covered in tattoos. | ||
| I have two sleeves, in case you're thinking I'm being an asshole. | ||
| A lot of people who don't have tattoos feel like you're covering something up. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I remember Dr. Drew and I had a conversation about that, because I loved this book that he wrote, and in it talked about how tattooing is like a form of narcissism, not on like a level of, oh, I think I'm awesome, but the opposite, which is narcissism just the same. | ||
| It's a reflection on the inside. | ||
| I don't really necessarily see it that way, because to me, yeah, there's some tattoos that hold meaning. | ||
| Like, I love my dad. | ||
| I got a portrait of my arm. | ||
| That's self-explanatory. | ||
| But there's other stuff, like my friends who don't know how to draw tattoo me, and it looks like a drunken three-year-old did something. | ||
| And I love it, because it's just fun, and it's cool, and I don't really care, you know? | ||
| You let your friends draw on you? | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| I let them tattoo me, which is a bigger deal. | ||
| Dr. Drew is a silly bitch. | ||
| He really is a silly bitch. | ||
| I love him too, but he's a silly bitch. | ||
| We need to get him on the podcast. | ||
| I saw him the other day at the gas station. | ||
| I would get him on. | ||
| I would get him on. | ||
| You know, he's been involved in that scandal for influencing the idea that people bought some certain drugs off-label, like saying, touting their sexual benefits and stuff. | ||
| And then he'll talk crap about marijuana or people who smoke pot, and he'll say silly things like how horribly addictive it is. | ||
| It's all just nonsense. | ||
| Like I said earlier, I haven't owned a television in 16 years in March, and I'm pretty adamant about not watching television. | ||
| So I don't know. | ||
| But I get what you're saying. | ||
| He can't tell you why you're getting it. | ||
| You can't say that you're just not enjoying the art. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| I know people love their tattoos. | ||
| They love it for art. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| You don't have to be covering something. | ||
| Well, I'm an expressive person and, you know, yeah, like, of course we all have issues and stuff. | ||
| I have no problem, like, wearing my heart on my sleeve. | ||
| I mean, I've actually gotten a lot of shit for that, you know what I mean, in the past and stuff with relationships. | ||
| And I just don't really live in that world of regret or really giving a fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just hate absolutes like that. | ||
| Like, you have to be fucked up. | ||
| You have to be this. | ||
| You have to be that. | ||
| It gets silly with certain things. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I think no one's perfect either, so I feel like, you know, I can see the goodness in everything, even the stuff I don't necessarily agree with, you know? | ||
| I try to, at least. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, I just, I would like to look at things that way. | ||
| I would like to look at people with tattoos and just, you know, I don't know why anybody got them, but I look at them and go, wow, I hope you like it. | ||
| I hope it's something that means something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I hope it's something... | ||
| Everybody, for whatever reason, wants to immediately try to figure out what was fucked up with you that made you get to the place where you enjoy that. | ||
| I'm more scared of the person who's totally corporate and working in a cubicle that's miserable and there's suppression of creativity. | ||
| Like, man, that's such a waste of... | ||
| Life. | ||
| Like, God, imagine if everybody was free to do things like, um, as they, you know, like, like I was talking about earlier, people's idea of success. | ||
| It's like, imagine if you didn't, you weren't bound by, like, everybody else's idea of that, you know? | ||
| Like, if you could settle for a job that paid less, but you were completely happy. | ||
| I mean, my dad and I, we used to argue about this all the time because he's like, you know, you didn't go to high school. | ||
| And then it's like, yeah, I know, dad, I know. | ||
| But check it out. | ||
| Like, you went to years of school and you... | ||
| Don't like what you do and you're struggling so hard and you know my dad comes from a medical background and stuff but um and I was so on my way to work every day and I walked down like the tarnished fucking Hollywood stars you know like just walking I'm like oh my god there's like a bunch of punk rockers there and it's like oh look it's just life is good like I love it you know and and if I wasn't getting paid I'd still be happy. | ||
| There's a documentary that Werner Herzog just put out. | ||
| It's called The Happy People, A Year in the Taiga. | ||
| It's these people that live up in Siberia and how happy they are. | ||
| And there's like no depression. | ||
| Everybody just does their work. | ||
| And their whole life is struggle. | ||
| Their whole life, they live off the land almost completely and entirely, trapping, hunting, and they're in fucking Siberia. | ||
| There's only one way to get there. | ||
| You have a couple months where you can take a boat. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Otherwise, you've got to get flown in. | ||
| There's no roads to get up there, and these people are happy as fuck. | ||
| They're just up there, you know, like, shooting animals, living off the land, growing their own vegetables. | ||
| They have to work hard in the spring and summer to prepare for the winter. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then they prepare for the winter, like, smoking fish. | ||
| I mean, every day. | ||
| No one has a job. | ||
| Every day, they're working, like, securing food for their families and storing it up so they can make it through the next winter. | ||
| I mean, it's amazing. | ||
| But it's not really that different than living in Hollywood and people who do that in their own ways. | ||
| It's just more, I feel like... | ||
| It's more natural. | ||
| Yeah, it sounds so much more simple and, like, less thought... | ||
| Like here, it's like the stress of getting to work and fighting three hours of traffic to get to a job that I don't respect or love. | ||
| You're still suffering or whatever for something. | ||
| Well, something happened somewhere along the way and society and our culture moved way faster than the human body did. | ||
| And all of a sudden, jobs required you to sit still. | ||
| They required you to stare at fucking unnatural light. | ||
| They required you to enter in things and your fucking back hurts and you're doing it all day, every day. | ||
| Like, the body's not designed for that. | ||
| The body's designed to do what these fucking people in Siberia are doing. | ||
| It's designed to go out and kill caribou and, you know, have dogs chained to trees and they keep the bears away. | ||
| I mean, these guys are happy as fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And this is the real way we're supposed to live. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| What if they hate it? | ||
| Well, they don't though. | ||
| See, what I'm saying is that all of our little receptors, I think, are set up to reward us for certain experiences. | ||
| I don't think we're set up any different than the people that lived when you had to live like that. | ||
| So I think the only way to really not feel lost... | ||
| There's no fucking movie star status when you're in Siberia. | ||
| There's no front of the line of the club. | ||
| There's no mentally generated... | ||
| There's no bullshit. | ||
| There's no nothing. | ||
| There's no head of Tenth Planet Jiu-Jitsu. | ||
| There's no stand-up comedian. | ||
| There's no nothing. | ||
| There's get a fish. | ||
| You gotta get a fish. | ||
| Because we're gonna fucking die in the winter if you don't. | ||
| And everybody does that, but yet they're all happy as shit. | ||
| There's... | ||
| Remember when you were a kid and you thought of where you were? | ||
| Like, well, I'll never live there. | ||
| I'm never going to move there. | ||
| I'm never going to get out of this class. | ||
| I'm never going to get out of this situation. | ||
| This is where I'm at. | ||
| Well, for them, it's a reality where they're surrounded by nature and woods. | ||
| Like, there really is no alternatives. | ||
| So they have no delusions. | ||
| There's no ridiculousness in their life. | ||
| And they're truly, in the moment, living like people were living 10,000-plus years ago. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's how we're supposed to live. | ||
| So we're fucking ourselves up. | ||
| City bullshit. | ||
| How long do you think it would take? | ||
| One generation? | ||
| TV? They'd be out of there in a minute. | ||
| The kids were like, what are we doing out here? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Looking at MTV. Kat Von D would change the way they all look. | ||
| They would get scared. | ||
| I want a tattoo, mommy. | ||
| In one month, they'd all want tattoos. | ||
| They'd be making homemade tattoos of beaver teeth and shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They would start tattooing themselves in Siberia. | |
| Yeah, we were at the coffee place, and we were having small talk with the nice lady behind the counter. | ||
| And she said, oh, I had a house sit this weekend. | ||
| It was terrible. | ||
| They didn't even have cable, no internet. | ||
| And me and Eddie were like, well, but we were being serious. | ||
| We're like, whoa, no cable? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| So what do you use, antenna? | ||
| That sucks. | ||
| And then Eddie goes, well, at least you got the internet. | ||
| And she's like, no, no, they didn't even have the internet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's like, what? | |
| What? | ||
| Fuck TV. You can just get on the internet. | ||
| These guys don't even have that. | ||
| They don't even have electricity and they're happy. | ||
| They don't have electricity, man. | ||
| They just don't know. | ||
| They get a little bit of gasoline that they use for their snowmobiles and their chainsaws. | ||
| And that's a wrap. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| They probably think they're balling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like the lower class of them live in the hills and shit. | |
| There's no class, man. | ||
| That's what's crazy. | ||
| They all live in the exact same houses. | ||
| They don't even use windows, man. | ||
| They don't use windows because windows are too hard to carry around. | ||
| So they build these houses out of logs and then they cut holes in the logs and put plastic and nail plastic in place. | ||
| That's all you need. | ||
| It's because of bears. | ||
| Bears rip them apart so often. | ||
| Those damn bears, I swear. | ||
| Where are they gonna get glass anyways? | ||
| It's hard to transport. | ||
| Oh, they could bring shit? | ||
| They could have chainsaws. | ||
| They're not making their own chainsaws. | ||
| They somehow or another got chainsaws either taken to them on a boat or flown in. | ||
| Somebody gave them a few tools. | ||
| But they make boats with a fucking big piece of wood. | ||
| They just drop it down and hollow it out and make this canoe. | ||
| And that's how they live every year. | ||
| It does never change. | ||
| And yet they're happy as fuck. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| Because to us it would be hell. | ||
| To the lady who works at the coffee place, she was bumming out that she didn't have cable. | ||
| These motherfuckers are fighting mosquitoes like you've never seen. | ||
| Because the mosquitoes are only alive for a couple of months. | ||
| They only got a couple of months in Siberia to live. | ||
| So they go gangster in giant swarms like you've never seen anything like that. | ||
| And they don't have any raid or any shit like that. | ||
| Off. | ||
| Off. | ||
| They have to cover themselves in tar. | ||
| They make a tar with bark. | ||
| They cook the bark down to a tar and then rub it all over their face with, like, oil. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| I'd be gone. | ||
| I'd go, fuck this peaceful shit. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| You've never seen mosquitoes like this. | ||
| That's horror. | ||
| Well, that's one of the beautiful things about LA is that we're not supposed to be here. | ||
| So life doesn't like it here either. | ||
| There's not that much here without us. | ||
| There's not that much water. | ||
| There's not supposed to be grass. | ||
| So there's very few bugs. | ||
| Yeah, there's very few bugs. | ||
| Like, in the summers in the East Coast, it was fucking terrible. | ||
| You know, especially like in Boston, if you lived anywhere near a lake, anywhere near a body of water. | ||
| Oh, the mosquitoes were horrendous, man. | ||
| They would fuck you up. | ||
| Nothing like Siberia, dude. | ||
| Some shit. | ||
| Yet they're so happy. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| But then again, you wouldn't be happy that way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| You wouldn't be happy. | ||
| No, you wouldn't. | ||
| Not if you know your life now. | ||
| You love tattooing. | ||
| You love, you know, you love... | ||
| Yeah, but that doesn't define me. | ||
| I mean, I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's true. | |
| You could adapt. | ||
| Yeah, of course you can. | ||
| Do you think you could be a Siberian princess? | ||
| I don't know if I want to be a princess, but... | ||
| Be up there beaver trapping and shit. | ||
| A warrior, yeah. | ||
| That would be cool for the first couple of days. | ||
| Do both. | ||
| A couple months a year. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| You go live with them. | ||
| Until you realize they have no cigarettes. | ||
| You're like, shit. | ||
| There's no cigarettes? | ||
| Like, I want a cigarette so bad. | ||
| You're like, they're up for two days. | ||
| And someone will give you some rolled up bullshit that tries to claim it's a cigarette. | ||
| One issue of Inked Magazine would destroy that culture. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, anything would destroy it. | ||
| Access to some other things would destroy it. | ||
| The idea is that it takes the body somewhere between 10 and maybe even possibly 20,000 or more years to completely change. | ||
| Like to completely change as far as like for you to have like a genetic response to adaptation to change. | ||
| So like 10,000 years for us is a long, long time to a human being. | ||
| But to species, it's really not that much. | ||
| So in order for things to decide that they're moving in certain directions, then they start changing. | ||
| And that's one of the things that, like, the really controversial ideas behind autism is that autism is not necessarily a benefit, but that autism might be a new possible way that the brain can operate. | ||
| You know, with some, like, really high-functioning autistics. | ||
| It's like what they're showing is, like, even though it's coming through in a disease, and even though it brings with it debilitating social issues and shit like that, The positive aspects of it, like a kid that can look out a window and then draw the whole fucking skyline. | ||
| Or play the piano. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What that is, is representing the next stage of human evolution. | ||
| And that all the information that we're getting from sitting in front of computers, from interacting with each other in a way that no one has ever been able to do before. | ||
| The brain is just going... | ||
| We're just redlining that motherfucker. | ||
| I can't wait to be able to buy that upgrade. | ||
| Can you imagine that? | ||
| I wonder if that's going to be available, Brian. | ||
| It's going to be a pill. | ||
| It's just going to be like, oh, we're going to fuck up your brain a little. | ||
| Most likely, if you listen to the real futurists, it's going to be some sort of a hybrid between a human and a computer. | ||
| It'll be something where... | ||
| I'll be long gone by then, thank God. | ||
| You think so, but I don't know about that. | ||
| I want some autism pills. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I don't think you'll be long gone. | ||
| I think you might experience that. | ||
| And I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing. | ||
| I think everybody's worried about every new possible technological thing as being something that separates us from each other. | ||
| I'm not worried about it. | ||
| It just seems like a lot of energy to waste on thinking about. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, then again, I'm not a big fan of reading fiction, I guess. | ||
| You're not a fan of fiction. | ||
| You don't even have a television, right? | ||
| No, I mean, I have like a movie screen. | ||
| I can watch movies. | ||
| So you watch movies but no TV? Sometimes, yes. | ||
| I like documentaries and stuff like that. | ||
| But you try to avoid TV? No, I do avoid TV. I don't like forced advertisement and I don't like... | ||
| Well, no, I don't want to complain. | ||
| I just think that... | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can't complain because you're on it, right? | |
| No, I mean... | ||
| When you come in, you could. | ||
| You can complain. | ||
| I mean, I could easily... | ||
| It's easier for me to talk... | ||
| Shit about, like, point out all the downfalls of my television show versus anyone else. | ||
| So, like, in vague terms, I think that my problem with it, or my reason that I stay away from it, aside from just being, I got too many ideas that I want to do, and I don't have time, but, like, is that I am too sensitive. | ||
| So, like, I get heartbroken by billboards. | ||
| Like, seriously, there was, like, a movie, I remember. | ||
| There was, like, a movie, and they had billboards everywhere. | ||
| I don't remember the movie. | ||
| It was, like... | ||
| You know, Ashton Kusher and some hot chick or whatever. | ||
| And he's buttoning up his shirt. | ||
| She's buttoning up and she's wearing his shirt. | ||
| And she's getting out of bed and it says something about no strings attached or friends with benefits or some shit. | ||
| And I was like, that's so sad to me. | ||
| It's like the opposite of love. | ||
| You guys just have sex with each other and there's no... | ||
| I could never... | ||
| Wow, and you almost cried looking at a billboard? | ||
| I mean, if I think about it too much, yeah, I do. | ||
| So it's like I watch, if I were to sit there and watch these television shows where the premise is to like, you know, there's a rich guy and a bunch of girls are fighting over this guy and they're using like their tits and ass as qualities. | ||
| It's disheartening. | ||
| So, I mean, I sound like an old lady because... | ||
| No, you don't. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| Every time I see a Circuit City, I feel that way, like an abandoned Circuit City. | ||
| It's depressing to me. | ||
| I get sad. | ||
| There's just an absence of true love, and I guess the romantic in me gets saddened by that. | ||
| Same with music. | ||
| I can't listen to music that's too... | ||
| You can definitely get affected by some shit, especially if you don't know it's coming, and you flip it through the channels. | ||
| There's some intense fucking movies on. | ||
| I watched Straw Dogs last night. | ||
| Do you know what Straw Dogs is? | ||
| I haven't seen it. | ||
| There's this insane rape scene in this movie where I turned on the movie right when it was going on. | ||
| I was like, what fucking movie is this? | ||
| But for the rest of the night, I was all fucked up. | ||
| I mean, it becomes... | ||
| I don't want to say anything about the movie. | ||
| The movie's very good. | ||
| But it gets really fucking intense. | ||
| Whereas the rest of the night I was fucked up. | ||
| And I ordinarily wouldn't have watched it. | ||
| But I didn't know what it was. | ||
| I was just pressing buttons. | ||
| And then boom, it came on. | ||
| And fucked my head for the rest of the night. | ||
| Yeah, and it's weird, and I think it's like we just kind of like, we, I think it's like people become so desensitized, and I guess that's the part that I have a problem with, you know? | ||
| You see it on Twitter, you see it on Instagram, it's like everybody's so negative and mean and take any opportunity to knock people down. | ||
| I've never been from that Like, train of thought, you know, because my parents just raised us a lot differently and stuff, and so it, like, I get, like, I get butthurt really easily. | ||
| That's better, though. | ||
| You know, you'll attract better people that way, and you'll figure out a way to get away from the people that aren't like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| I mean, it's like, yeah, giving that any value is just as bad, I think, but... | ||
| I just want people to be nice, that's all. | ||
| I think almost all really expressive people, anybody who's artistic or very expressive, there's always some extreme sensitivity on the other side of it as well. | ||
| Just is. | ||
| Just you're intense about everything. | ||
| You're probably intense about love. | ||
| You're probably intense about... | ||
| Yeah, I mean, that's why you cry when you see an Aston Kutcher thing. | ||
| It's your intensity. | ||
| You take shit up to a higher level quicker than most people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's probably what it is. | |
| Everything's a symbol, and then I get sad about that, so yeah. | ||
| But I've been sad. | ||
| I've cried during previews of depressing movies. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Good Burger? | ||
| What? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You're funny over there. | ||
| Some sad... | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Don't encourage him. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| How are you doing? | ||
| How can you say that after all he's done? | ||
| No! | ||
| But then there's those moments of brilliance and people are inspiring and great and do awesome shit. | ||
| Well, that's what we get off each other the most. | ||
| That's the most beautiful thing that people get from each other. | ||
| We're inspired by each other. | ||
| I love going to music because I'm not musical. | ||
| I can't do anything. | ||
| So I love going and watching because I feel like it fires me up. | ||
| Oh, you go to musicals. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I love to see music. | ||
| I love to see people perform. | ||
| Bands perform. | ||
| I love to see people do things that I have zero skill in. | ||
| I was impressed with our last exchange of emails when we were going back and forth on band recommendations. | ||
| I had no idea that you were into that kind of stuff. | ||
| Well, the funny thing is... | ||
| He emailed me and he's like, hey, I want to know, what are you listening to nowadays? | ||
| I want to get some new music. | ||
| And I'm like, oh man, where do you start? | ||
| Give me a genre, you know? | ||
| You turned me on to so many good songs. | ||
| So then I was like, alright, here's like 10, and then tell me which ones you like, and then I'll know what kind. | ||
| I'll be your genius playlist or whatever. | ||
| Oh wow, that's cool. | ||
| Dude, you're using Kat Von D for your genius playlist. | ||
| She's got some great shit. | ||
| I'm gonna tell you my Kat Von D music story. | ||
| Most people don't know that she has an amazing voice. | ||
| She can sing her ass off and she's really shy about it. | ||
| She's crazy shy about it. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| Well, let me tell you this. | ||
| She doesn't like talking about it. | ||
| No, I can't talk about it. | ||
| I just can't say, like, oh, yeah, it is true. | ||
| We're both working with the same producer, which is also her best friend. | ||
| Danny is producing my stuff, and he's messing with her, too, musically as well. | ||
| So I'm at Danny's, and we're working on some stuff, and he goes, me and... | ||
| Kat and Wes Borland from Limp Bizkit. | ||
| He's the guitar player for Wes Borland. | ||
| He goes, me and Wes are going to do a little benefit song. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He really helped me out. | ||
| Like, last minute. | ||
| I had a beautiful benefit thing. | ||
| So last minute, they're putting together this song, Last Minute. | ||
| It's a cover, and she's going to perform at this gay benefit, right? | ||
| Yeah, it was for Linda Perry's Evening with Women. | ||
| It's like an awesome... | ||
| Yeah, so Danny's telling me, Danny, he's like, man, we're trying to put together this song. | ||
| This could be a disaster. | ||
| So we had like less than 48 hours to learn this song. | ||
| It was like that Bronski Beat song. | ||
| I love Bronski Beat. | ||
| And like, and I mean, I ended up just like reading it from my iPad as I was traveling and totally fucked it up. | ||
| But it was fun and it was great and stuff. | ||
| But then I think I had been recording that night at Linda's and you were at Danny's and I was really excited because I had, because I had like gnarly stage fright issues like for the last year and stuff, just whatever. | ||
| And so finally, I threw the balls, I guess, to get over them. | ||
| And so, obviously, Danny's my best friend and we're going to be working on music. | ||
| So I was like, hey, I want to come over. | ||
| It was late. | ||
| I think it was like, what, like almost midnight or something. | ||
| Yeah, me and Danny are working on stuff. | ||
| And Linda Perry, for those that don't know, she was the lead singer for Four Non Blondes. | ||
| She produced Pink's second album, which went Fucking skyrocket. | ||
| So Linda Perry is a massive musician. | ||
| She also did Christina Aguilera, too. | ||
| The big, you're so beautiful. | ||
| Keep singing. | ||
| I want to hear this. | ||
| Linda Perry's a huge... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stop! | |
| Right, right? | ||
| So she's working with Kat now. | ||
| They're writing some shit together. | ||
| I'm at Danny's. | ||
| She's all excited. | ||
| They recorded a song. | ||
| They brought it over. | ||
| Yeah, and then Danny's like, text me, is it cool if Eddie Bravo is... | ||
| I'm like, yeah, I don't care. | ||
| I just don't say anything about it. | ||
| But of course, I had to be in the other room because I was like, I'm not going to sit there and go... | ||
| Like, you know, what do you think? | ||
| Or whatever. | ||
| Yeah, she had to go to the next room. | ||
| It was just, like, vocal. | ||
| It wasn't, like, a produced track or anything. | ||
| And then Danny was all stoked. | ||
| But he texted me the other day. | ||
| He's like, man, he's still talking about it. | ||
| He, like, loved it. | ||
| Then I'm like, aw, it makes me happy. | ||
| Is that what Danny said? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So what ended up happening, and I've told this story a bunch, because, like, the next day at school, I said, most of you guys don't know. | ||
| You weren't supposed to. | ||
| Most of you guys don't know this. | ||
| You can't tell us. | ||
| Most of you guys don't know this. | ||
| But I was so impressed with her voice and the actual song. | ||
| Her and Linda Perry together. | ||
| I feel with the right marketing, of course, I think it could be huge. | ||
| Could it be bigger than Paris Hilton's single? | ||
| I like that song a lot. | ||
| I bet you did. | ||
| You should get that shit tattooed on your dick. | ||
| Well, anyways, the song that Ver and Linda Perry did together, the first one that she brought over, is amazing. | ||
| What's it called? | ||
| I'm not going to talk about it yet. | ||
| Yeah, you can't talk about it, son. | ||
| She's trying to send you hints. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| The bottom line is, she's actually a great singer. | ||
| Her voice is amazing. | ||
| When I see your artwork, I think you'd be good at anything you want her to be. | ||
| You'd be amazing. | ||
| Oh, thanks. | ||
| If you can draw that well, that's some really high-level shit. | ||
| You could do that with anything. | ||
| I really believe that. | ||
| I believe that with anybody who's super awesome at anything. | ||
| How many bad tattoos do you see a day of people just coming in? | ||
| I mean, have you ever seen one that you're just like, wow, that's the worst tattoo I've ever seen? | ||
| Well, I mean, there's such a big difference in, like, personal preference versus technical aspect of things. | ||
| So, like, I mean, there's some stuff that's not necessarily technically... | ||
| It's like everything else, like music. | ||
| It's like technically might not be the best singer, but the charisma's behind it, and, you know... | ||
| Blah, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| Well, there's that style. | ||
| What was the t-shirt? | ||
| Ed Hardy. | ||
| That Ed Hardy sort of style. | ||
| Oh, like the old school, 1950s traditional stuff. | ||
| Yeah, which, not that artistic, but people like that look. | ||
| It's its own art, you know? | ||
| And I didn't understand it for a long time. | ||
| My ex-husband was really into doing that kind of artwork, and he's really great at it. | ||
| There's an art behind it. | ||
| I personally have not... | ||
| I'm inclined to do that kind of stuff, but I appreciate it for what it is. | ||
| So I don't know. | ||
| I mean, I think I see a lot of great ideas, you know, in people often, and then you just see kind of a poor execution or an inexperienced execution and stuff. | ||
| But yeah, I mean, I don't know. | ||
| I see so many amazing things now that blow me out of the water. | ||
| It's like, fuck, there's so many great artists nowadays. | ||
| I'm permanently scarred from ever getting a tattoo again because of my tattoo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Because it was a free tattoo. | ||
| It was somebody practicing for their first time. | ||
| It took seven hours. | ||
| It should have taken one hour. | ||
| God, I remember I used to be that slow too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then I found out it's not even supposed to be an R for my last name. | ||
| And I found out it means waterfalls now. | ||
| So now it's like the ugliest tattoo ever with this Chinese letter that means waterfalls. | ||
| But it's probably small. | ||
| You can cover it up. | ||
| Easy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, you just get that shit lasered off, son. | ||
| They can do that pretty easy now. | ||
| Especially, like, it's not red. | ||
| Red is apparently the most difficult color. | ||
| Yeah, it's got red. | ||
| It's got red in it. | ||
| Oh, is it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, they could work that red out. | ||
| I think red is actually the easiest to get out. | ||
| Blue and purple. | ||
| I thought that was blue for some reason. | ||
| Red is the easiest to get out? | ||
| Yeah, red and black. | ||
| And then purples and greens, I think. | ||
| Blues and greens are a little harder. | ||
| But it all depends on, like, how... | ||
| Have you done it? | ||
| Have you done the lasering off? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I lasered a couple. | ||
| Like, this whole arm got lasered. | ||
| It used to be... | ||
| I got, like, this tattoo when I was, like, 15 or 16. It was, like, the New York Dolls, like, cowgirl with a gun. | ||
| And then there's, like, a flag coming out of it. | ||
| It says, bang! | ||
| And at the time, I thought it was cool. | ||
| I'm like, man, I have the word bang on my arm. | ||
| I really need to get rid of it. | ||
| That's better than waterfall. | ||
| How long did it take? | ||
| Well, with, like, laser, you have to go for sessions. | ||
| It's, like, super painful and stuff, but... | ||
| More painful than tattooing? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Well, I'm a wussy, so I don't know. | ||
| I can't handle it. | ||
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you just say? | |
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| You have tattoos all over your body, and you're telling me that you're a wussy. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Ask anybody at my show. | ||
| Like 15 minutes, and I tap out. | ||
| I can't do it. | ||
| Those are all 15-minute tattoos? | ||
| No, this was all... | ||
| A lot of them was under the influence of alcohol, so it was a lot easier, but now... | ||
| Back in the day. | ||
| The dizzy, yes. | ||
| Things were easier. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Remember that one time when I drank too much? | ||
| Do I remember it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I think we have that on video somewhere. | ||
| Just you saying that is hilarious. | ||
| Because I can just go through a Rolodex in my head of any moment that sentence could apply to. | ||
| He wrote a blog about my alcohol problem. | ||
| Do you have one? | ||
| No, no, I don't have an alcohol. | ||
| I'm not an alcoholic, but I will drink a lot on special occasions. | ||
| And when I pass a certain point, the Indian comes out, as Joey Diaz says. | ||
| And when the Indian comes out, for sure I'm not going to remember any of the night. | ||
| He blacks out. | ||
| Is it fun, though? | ||
| Or is he like the one that's like, oh, I love you, man? | ||
| No, no, no, he hates it. | ||
| He's a great guy. | ||
| The problem is he completely checks out and he doesn't know where he is. | ||
| And he literally is like a third of a mind controlled by a demon from another galaxy. | ||
| He's like a one-third Eddie and two-thirds some demonic alcohol-sucking demon from another planet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's weird. | ||
| I'm not evil though. | ||
| No, never evil. | ||
| I don't mean that. | ||
| I mean like possessed by the alcohol. | ||
| It's like just wandering around. | ||
| He doesn't know what happens until the next day when he sobers up. | ||
| You have to tell him what happens. | ||
| I've had to get his hotel door opened by security. | ||
| Banging on his door in Germany when we were supposed to leave. | ||
| Banging on his door. | ||
| Finally the door opens. | ||
| Eddie is lying in bed with his cowboy boots on. | ||
| And the light is on. | ||
| The light is on. | ||
| He's completely, just completely out cold. | ||
| I go, Eddie! | ||
| We gotta go to the fucking airport! | ||
| He's like, what's up? | ||
| He just looks at me and the security guard goes, hey, what's up? | ||
| Yeah, like, I'm trying to play it off. | ||
| Like, hey, what's up, guys? | ||
| That's not the worst story. | ||
| That's not even the worst story. | ||
| The car one is the crazy one. | ||
| The car one is the worst. | ||
| I talked to him. | ||
| It was like, I was having breakfast. | ||
| It was like 7 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| And the car was gonna come at 9.00. | ||
| And he calls me while we're having breakfast. | ||
| He's still fucked up. | ||
| I mean, he is fucked up. | ||
| The plan was to drink all night and walk onto the airplane and then sleep all the way back. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, like, stay up all night, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, you know, I go, are you fucked up? | ||
| Did you stay up all night? | ||
| I said, yeah, fuck yeah, man. | ||
| I'm going to power through. | ||
| I'm going to power through. | ||
| And so I go, okay, well, we're leaving at 8.30, all right? | ||
| You gotta be down there for the car at 8.30. | ||
| No problem, no problem. | ||
| So I eat breakfast. | ||
| An hour and a half later, I go out for, you know, waiting for him. | ||
| It's an hour and, you know, hour and a half. | ||
| Sitting here. | ||
| Ten minutes later, I'm like, okay, what the fuck is going on? | ||
| So I talk to the guy who's the valet. | ||
| I go, hey, is my car here? | ||
| And the guy says, what's your name? | ||
| I said, Rogan. | ||
| He goes, oh, Rogan already left. | ||
| I go, no, no, no. | ||
| Rogan is me. | ||
| He goes, no, Rogan already left. | ||
| I go, what did he look like? | ||
| He said, well, he had long hair at the time. | ||
| He said, long hair, tattoos. | ||
| I'm like, that motherfucker. | ||
| So I call him up. | ||
| And first of all, he answers the phone and then just hangs up. | ||
| I was like, shit. | ||
| Couldn't realize. | ||
| I'm in the back of this car. | ||
| And then the phone went. | ||
| He didn't even know what he did. | ||
| I wake up. | ||
| And I see it's Joe calling. | ||
| I'm like, what? | ||
| I go, what's up? | ||
| He goes, you took my car. | ||
| And I hung up. | ||
| We're on the Autobahn, and I tell the driver, where are we going? | ||
| He goes, we're going to the airport! | ||
| I'm like, oh shit! | ||
| And then he keeps calling back. | ||
| I don't think that was the Autobahn. | ||
| I don't know what it was, but we're flying up. | ||
| I think it was just a regular highway. | ||
| Well, it sounds like a good time. | ||
| Yeah, it was ridiculous. | ||
| He woke up in the car. | ||
| I kept sending it to my message, or my answering service, or whatever, and I had to figure out what the hell was going on. | ||
| And then I finally answered. | ||
| He's so fucking mad. | ||
| I'm like, holy shit, I'm sorry. | ||
| I have no idea what happened. | ||
| I just woke up in the back of the car. | ||
| I don't remember the whole night. | ||
| I must have passed and just jumped in his car. | ||
| But this is like total, like, if Eddie, there's a certain number of drinks where he gets over where he'll just disappear. | ||
| And he's gone. | ||
| The Aubrey story, the Texas one? | ||
| Don't get into that. | ||
| I was just going to bring up the end. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| He's shaking his head no. | ||
| You know what else I found out? | ||
| I found out my cat in Japanese means waterfalls. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's perfect. | |
| And I'm like thinking something's fucked up with waterfalls. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| What cat in Japanese? | ||
| Techie in Japanese means waterfalls. | ||
| I found out the other day. | ||
| Really? | ||
| You're fine then. | ||
| You should be celebrating your tattoo. | ||
| I don't want to go chasing waterfalls this much. | ||
| I need to know why. | ||
| What's that song from? | ||
| What was that band? | ||
| TLC. TLC. That was a sweet song. | ||
| I'm never going to walk in the ocean because I might come out of Blob. | ||
| Brian, you need to go outside and get some air. | ||
| So what are your plans for your music? | ||
| What's the plan? | ||
| Well, you know, the coolest thing I think with Linda is we're moving forward without any... | ||
| Deadlines. | ||
| No, it's not the deadlines. | ||
| We have goals, obviously, but by summertime I think it should be done out, which is exciting. | ||
| But I think it's like we're not really congesting our thoughts with anything right now. | ||
| We're just writing music without outside voices, no reference, just, you know... | ||
| So you said you got over your stage, Fred. | ||
| Are you going to start doing live performances? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I'm putting your band together. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| You're going to go on tour? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| She's going to be a rock star. | ||
| Watch. | ||
| Are you going to be a rock star? | ||
| That term is so weird to me. | ||
| It seems like you can sneak it through from the back door, just from having talent and being on TV. You just sneak it right through. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I want to do everything, even small things, with a lot of quality. | ||
| And so I think with the music stuff, I just want to make it as good as possible, for lack of a better... | ||
| Yeah, so I think people will probably be pleasantly surprised in the sense that they're expecting me to fail as usual. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| People are expecting you to fail? | ||
| I think people always expect you to fail. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, other than your friends, obviously. | ||
| I'm talking about like, you know, Yeah, I think so. | ||
| Especially me, because I was on TV, so it's like, oh, you're just doing... | ||
| That's definitely true. | ||
| If you have some success, they want it to be over. | ||
| It's hard to get into music after you're already famous for something else. | ||
| It's tough. | ||
| Has anybody ever done it well? | ||
| Jamie Foxx? | ||
| Steve Martin. | ||
| Sort of. | ||
| Steve Martin? | ||
| His band's pretty big for a certain kind of music. | ||
| Oh, he does just plain music shows, right? | ||
| Yeah, he does. | ||
| He plays banjo and stuff. | ||
| It's a certain style of music, but he's successful in that. | ||
| Anybody else? | ||
| Eddie Murphy. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| He had a party all the time. | ||
| Party all the time. | ||
| That's kind of like what my stuff sounds like. | ||
| Like that? | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's cool. | |
| What kind of shit do you sound like? | ||
| What does it sound like? | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Linda and I both have tried figuring it out. | ||
| A dark Sarah McLachlan kind of. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oof! | |
| Stop it. | ||
| Don't say that kind of stuff. | ||
| Is that bad? | ||
| What's wrong? | ||
| I could never compare myself to anybody. | ||
| She just calls it powerfully pathetic, which is good. | ||
| Power... | ||
| Powerfully pathetic, I think. | ||
| Powerfully pathetic? | ||
| It's all very sad and tragic and romantic, but there's elements of classical music and stuff and some electronic elements. | ||
| So there won't be any Sheryl Crow type, all I want to do is have some fun? | ||
| I don't even know what that is. | ||
| You don't know that song? | ||
| All I want to do... | ||
| Stop it, guys! | ||
| I thought you were supposed to talk about manly stuff. | ||
| Listen, we're so manly we take it in the other direction. | ||
| We're not scared to talk Sheryl Crow. | ||
| That's a great song. | ||
| It's a great fucking song. | ||
| You don't like that kind of music? | ||
| No, I just don't know. | ||
| What do you listen to personally? | ||
| Kent. | ||
| Kent is one of my favorite bands. | ||
| I like a lot of Scandinavian music. | ||
| I like a lot of metal and I love Depeche Mode and The Cure and shit like that. | ||
| So, a lot of obscure shit that people wouldn't be aware of, and then a lot of classic shit like Suzie and the Banshees. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I don't even listen to anything that's made before 1980 anymore. | ||
| Black Sabbath? | ||
| No. | ||
| I listen to some Black Keys. | ||
| That's the only modern shit I listen to. | ||
| And then everything else is old stuff. | ||
| All I've been listening to is like Allman Brothers. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I love Allman Brothers. | ||
| After 80. Okay, I see what you're saying. | ||
| Did I say before? | ||
| I thought you did. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Anything after 1980, I'm like, done. | ||
| I'm done. | ||
| Except the Black Keys. | ||
| The Black Keys seem to have kept the soul. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And Honey Honey. | |
| And Honey Honey. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| They're my friends. | ||
| What a dick I am. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That guy, too. | ||
| The 80s had some of the best shit ever. | ||
| But I mean, like, modern bands that you hear on the radio that are big hits. | ||
| I can't get into any of this shit. | ||
| I don't even know. | ||
| I couldn't even tell you. | ||
| I'm at a supermarket every now and then. | ||
| That's the only time I hear music. | ||
| I'm shopping. | ||
| And I'm like, what the fuck is this? | ||
| Is this something new? | ||
| It's Deadmau5. | ||
| No. | ||
| It'd be some weird fucking auto-tuned bullshit and it's repeating itself over and over again. | ||
| I'm like, is this the new shit? | ||
| Is this popular right now? | ||
| I feel like I'm some dude who's like an outlier, like comes into town every now and then to find out what the folks are up to. | ||
| That's what it feels like. | ||
| And as I get older and older, it becomes more and more apparent. | ||
| I can understand. | ||
| I like some pop music, I guess. | ||
| But I think it's hard for me to wrap my mind around certain things like, how does that resonate with people? | ||
| Because for me, I love poetry and I love things that are so much more profound. | ||
| And I think people are hungry for that. | ||
| Even though a lot of the stuff that's really big right now is very superficial and whatever, but I feel like there is definitely... | ||
| I think people are... | ||
| hurting and they want to relate somehow so I don't know Well, yeah, I definitely think that, but I also think there's a lot of music that some people just aren't even aware of. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| There's a lot of young kids today that don't even know what a whole lot of love sounds like when you hear it through really good speakers. | ||
| Yeah, but the other day, man, I was driving down Hollywood, and I seen these awesome fucking metalheads, and they were carrying skateboards as young kids, and one had a death shirt on, and the other one had a motorhead shirt on. | ||
| I literally rolled my window down, and my friend Allison was in, and I'm like, Hey, I love you guys. | ||
| And they're like, I love you too. | ||
| With their skateboards. | ||
| You got just fucking long hair. | ||
| Metal will never die. | ||
| So cool. | ||
| Yeah, I thought metal was gone in the 80s. | ||
| I thought, like, this shit is not going to last. | ||
| Yeah, and then, like, listen to, like, obscure black metal and stuff that's, like, you know, I don't know, it's cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like it. | |
| Metal will never die. | ||
| It won't. | ||
| That feeling will never die because there's always going to be shitty parenting. | ||
| You're never going to get rid of metal because you're never going to make people become good parents. | ||
| You're always going to have people who just want to... | ||
| They just want to pound on the walls, fucking scream, and just curse their circumstances. | ||
| And turn crosses upside down. | ||
| Yeah, you're always going to have shitty parenting, so you're always going to have metal. | ||
| I did all that shit. | ||
| I bet that shit is on a computer. | ||
| I wrote satanic lyrics like... | ||
| Every song had to be... | ||
| Come on, son! | ||
| It either had to be about... | ||
| When I was 14, 15, 16, all the songs I wrote were nuclear war, anti-religion, demons killing priests. | ||
| Did you do any love songs? | ||
| Nothing about love? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no. | |
| Not until, like, I was 19 or 20. In your defense, though, when we were kids, when we were growing up, you know, we're older than you. | ||
| You probably don't recognize that Soviet Union threat feeling. | ||
| Did you ever have that threat when you were a kid? | ||
| Did you ever feel that? | ||
| See, when Eddie and I grew up, we were really worried that we were going to get into a nuclear war with the Soviet Union. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh yeah, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that bad? | |
| Bro, everybody did. | ||
| Dude, nuclear war was such a popular... | ||
| It was so close. | ||
| Is that like when dinosaurs roamed the earth? | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| Look, it's possible today, but back then it was not just possible, it seemed probable. | ||
| 70s, like late 70s? | ||
| Late 70s, early 80s, everybody thought we were going to war with Russia. | ||
| That was a fact. | ||
| Until Ronald Reagan and Chernobyl effectively bankrupted the Soviet Union. | ||
| That's one of the big things that brought it down. | ||
| But when the Soviet Union fell apart, then everybody took a deep breath and relaxed. | ||
| But until that happened, there was always this constant thread that they were going to take us over. | ||
| World War III. Yeah. | ||
| They were in Cuba. | ||
| I mean, they were 90 miles from our border setting up missile silos. | ||
| I mean, there was a lot of shit that went down during the Kennedy administration. | ||
| So there was that feeling, especially as technology increased. | ||
| And then there was that Star Wars program that came on where they were developing these fucking things to shoot missiles out of the sky. | ||
| They'd be like satellites that were launched up with lasers to zap missiles out of the sky. | ||
| That's like a significant part of the budget and a significant part of what Ronald Reagan was talking about when they were talking about national defense. | ||
| So we were worried about going to war with Russia. | ||
| It was constant when we were kids. | ||
| Very popular song topic. | ||
| Seems fucked up, right? | ||
| It doesn't even make sense to you. | ||
| It was a band called Nuclear Assault. | ||
| The song was called Nuclear Death. | ||
| Nuclear death. | ||
| Nuclear dick suck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nuclear, what else? | ||
| Oh, there's a crazy... | ||
| Nuclear holocaust! | ||
| I'll have to put it up later. | ||
| Have you seen that video, Brian, that the Holocaust survivor, or excuse me, the Hiroshima survivor made? | ||
| No. | ||
| He made a cartoon. | ||
| You gotta pull it up. | ||
| I forget the guy's name. | ||
| Something Ben. | ||
| Is it gonna make me sad? | ||
| Oh, it's crazy. | ||
| I don't wanna be sad. | ||
| Well, it's a cartoon that was written by a survivor. | ||
| From Hiroshima. | ||
| And it depicting how it was, like what the experience was like for the people on the ground. | ||
| It's fucked up, man. | ||
| Because even though it's just a cartoon, I mean... | ||
| You guys have to watch it after I leave. | ||
| You can't handle it? | ||
| You don't want to watch it in front of us? | ||
| The less I know, the better about it. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Sometimes. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'll get sad. | ||
| It's kind of crazy there's like 10 different countries or more that has nuclear weapons. | ||
| I mean, how many have them? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Seven. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| You just taking guesses over there, son? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, we know Pakistan, India, the UK certainly has them. | ||
| You know, in the Korean War, we made 18 Korean cities disappear. | ||
| We did? | ||
| 18. That's why they fucking hate us, man. | ||
| They're like, no more. | ||
| No more of this bullshit. | ||
| They just shut themselves off from the world. | ||
| Can you imagine that? | ||
| 18 cities disappear. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And it was no nuclear. | ||
| It was all like, what, hydrogen bombs and shit? | ||
| I don't know the bombs they used, but they made 18, they leveled 18 cities in Korea during the Korean War. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| That's crazy shit. | ||
| They don't talk about that too much. | ||
| Yeah, wrap your head around that. | ||
| Try thinking about 18 American cities just disappearing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, the whole game changed when you can fly. | ||
| When you can fly and shoot shit from the sky, that's the game changer. | ||
| And it all happened all at once. | ||
| Fly, shoot things from the sky, and then almost right after that, nuclear bombs. | ||
| It's pretty nutty when you think about that. | ||
| Because there was no fucking airport or airplane wars just a hundred years ago. | ||
| In the early 1900s, they weren't fucking flying everywhere and dropping bombs on each other. | ||
| They started doing that in the 30s and the 40s. | ||
| That's when, like, they started getting better at rocketry, and then BOOM! 47, nuclear bomb, complete game changer. | ||
| The whole thing takes less than a hundred years to go from the airplane being fucking invented to dropping nuclear bombs on people is a hundred years. | ||
| That's nuts, man. | ||
| Have you ever tattooed a nuclear missile? | ||
| I never even thought of that. | ||
| Actually, yeah, I think I have. | ||
| I've really never even thought of that until just now. | ||
| That is a crazy number. | ||
| That the invention of the airplane, it goes invention of the airplane all the way to nuclear bombs and it's in less than a hundred years. | ||
| So in essentially one lifetime, we go from people stuck on the ground or in boats to someone who can drop a fucking nuclear bomb on your country. | ||
| That's amazing! | ||
| What a fucking weird jump in history that is. | ||
| That might be the biggest jump in history that's ever been recorded. | ||
| I never even thought about it. | ||
| Man, there's nowhere to go, is there? | ||
| Only crazy. | ||
| Where? | ||
| Crazy is the only way to go. | ||
| I'm moving to Finland. | ||
| Finland? | ||
| A lot of death metal there. | ||
| I love Finland. | ||
| What do you love about Finland? | ||
| What? | ||
| It's easier to go to Alaska, probably. | ||
| Yeah, but Finland's so much cooler. | ||
| Alaska's gorgeous, though. | ||
| We can make Alaska cool. | ||
| We just have to have more cool people move up there. | ||
| You're friends with the singer from HIM, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're totally into them. | ||
| Are they from Finland? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're Finnish. | ||
| It's almost like a satanic love metal band, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, wow. | |
| How would you describe him? | ||
| It means his infernal majesty. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Someone needs to hold that dude down. | ||
| No, I think it was taken from a good... | ||
| Hold that down. | ||
| Make him take his pills. | ||
| He's spotting all over my couch. | ||
| Super poppy metal, but like satanic love suicide. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| I actually like it. | ||
| Hill sprints. | ||
| Maybe a sandbag workout would be good. | ||
| Dig a hole for today. | ||
| I want you to be happy you're alive. | ||
| I want you to dig a hole, and when you're done, I'm going to give you a cold drink. | ||
| You're going to feel awesome. | ||
| It's not bad. | ||
| Why Finland? | ||
| Why would you escape to Finland? | ||
| I love Finland. | ||
| I used to go there once a year for a long time. | ||
| If the shit hit the fan in America, is that what you would do? | ||
| I would go to Canada. | ||
| No, I was just saying it's like there's not really anywhere to go, really, when you think about it. | ||
| I think Canada is a move. | ||
| At least you would find out what the fuck is going on for a little bit, maybe a couple years of safety before you had to escape to Antarctica. | ||
| Yeah, but let's go back to the Siberians. | ||
| Like, do they even know about it? | ||
| No, and guess what? | ||
| They're just happy. | ||
| They are happy, but you wouldn't be happy. | ||
| I mean, you say you might be adaptive, but man, you would remember the internet. | ||
| You would remember driving around in your bad-ass car, listening to your favorite songs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what, Matt? | |
| When I was on my book tour last year, halfway through, my house burned down, and it demolished, you know, just gone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I used to live down the street from Danny, and I remember I went on the rest of the book tour, you know, I think I had like A month or two after, and went through Canada, and I just didn't tell anybody, just kind of, you know, hey, I'm here, and I literally had, like, what I was wearing, and that was it. | ||
| And then when I came back, you know, I told Kat, the other Kat, my assistant, like, I don't really want anything when I get back. | ||
| I'm just going to have a gallery next door to my tattoo shop. | ||
| It's like an art gallery, and we had, like, an upstairs area that was for stock, you know, and, like, Probably the size of your bathroom or something. | ||
| And she went and got an air mattress from Target, which I was like, oh no, it's too much, it's too much, you know? | ||
| But it was so weird having to... | ||
| It's too much? | ||
| Yeah, it was easier just being as simple as possible, you know? | ||
| You don't even want an air mattress. | ||
| You're going super minimalist. | ||
| Well, she got it, so I got it. | ||
| So then I slept on an air mattress. | ||
| And yeah, it was fucking awesome. | ||
| Was this like an exercise for you? | ||
| Like an exercise of letting things go? | ||
| No, I mean, I never struggled with it from the minute I got the news. | ||
| But, I mean, I was in a clear place. | ||
| Even when I say exercise, I don't mean necessarily like a strain, but like a direct path that you chose to take. | ||
| A direct path of a minimalist. | ||
| Yeah, conscious decision. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And I mean, I've done it like in other ways too. | ||
| It's not a matter of... | ||
| Depriving myself, but punishing myself. | ||
| I was celibate for a year. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Hey! | ||
| Oh my God, blasphemy! | ||
|
unidentified
|
But I'm just saying, as he leaves... | |
| I think he's going to go beat off. | ||
| No! | ||
| Oh, you don't know him. | ||
| He's crazy. | ||
| He's quick with it, too. | ||
| Celibate for a year. | ||
| He'll be back in before we even need him. | ||
| Yeah, that's ridiculous. | ||
| Why would you do that? | ||
| I love how when I was at the time, they were like on purpose. | ||
| Well, first of all, I think that's way easier for a woman to do, not just physically, but psychologically, because there's more dickhead dudes. | ||
| And dickhead dudes are dangerous, whereas girls that are a pain in the ass if you date them, they're very rarely dangerous. | ||
| It's not like the weird feeling of intimidation. | ||
| Girls seem so much more emotional and annoying. | ||
| You can get emotional, that's for sure, but it's not like you've been beat up or anything. | ||
| I know women who have been hit by men, and then they're done with men for years. | ||
| I mean, that makes sense, though, to me. | ||
| Whereas a guy taking a year off of sex is like, well, you can't find a nice chick. | ||
| It wasn't about being reactive to something, like, oh, I got hurt. | ||
| No, it was just more as making a conscious decision at the time. | ||
| Imagine if he had just a one-year yeast infection that was a motherfucker. | ||
| I don't even know what that would be like. | ||
| It wouldn't even go out. | ||
| Eddie's not even paying attention. | ||
| I know. | ||
| We've lost everybody now. | ||
| Eddie, we lost you totally, man. | ||
| No, but you know, it's just like, I don't know. | ||
| Celibacy bores me. | ||
| Yeah, it just shuts him off. | ||
| He's like, I'm done. | ||
| He just checked out totally. | ||
| He's thinking of his new song he's working on. | ||
| Working on jujitsu moves in his head. | ||
| I was looking at that Naughty Show thing. | ||
| I've been looking at that girl's boob this entire time. | ||
| It's pretty nice, right? | ||
| It's pretty nice. | ||
| For a mannequin, it's about as hot as it gets. | ||
| She's pretty sexy. | ||
| She's Brian's. | ||
| All this stuff is Brian's. | ||
| This has nothing to do with me. | ||
| I don't want to be judged by this. | ||
| He's a silly guy. | ||
| He's got a lot of weird shit on the wall. | ||
| Did he really leave because I said that word, the C word? | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| He just has to probably smoke a cigarette or something. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| He's an odd duck, but we make an interesting combination. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| He's a strange fucking dude. | ||
| It's hard finding someone that strange that also is kind of funny and knows how to run things. | ||
| Oh, nice. | ||
| So, we've got a weird little relationship, me and that guy. | ||
| Yeah, but going back to the Siberians, they are happy. | ||
| What about nuclear war? | ||
| We're going to pass right over. | ||
| We're done with that? | ||
| Yeah, we're done with that. | ||
| I think the Siberians, like we were saying, I think they're only happy because they don't know about all the groovy shit we have. | ||
| They don't know about iPhones. | ||
| They don't know the iPhone 5 is going to be out in a week. | ||
| They don't know about that shit. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| They never drove. | ||
| Yeah, I see you're all excited. | ||
| You're thinking, I'm going to get my assistant to go get me one. | ||
| You know, fucking Siberian dudes that never drove a nice car, never listened to a good stereo. | ||
| They only think they're happy out there chasing down beaver pills. | ||
| That shit's ridiculous. | ||
| I think you could be way more happy today, like in a way higher, peakier sort of a way, but there's a lot of crashes today. | ||
| There's a lot of, what does it all mean? | ||
| But then there's like, wow, it's the most awesome time. | ||
| Because we're not ready for that yet. | ||
| It's too much work. | ||
| Well, it's an amazing amount of work the whole species is going to have to do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And people are lazy. | |
| It's that and they're also busy. | ||
| You know, people have to feed themselves and pay their bills and get caught up in that sort of a work cycle where you're doing something with your time every day just in order to stay alive. | ||
| And it's real hard to get on another path once you're on that path. | ||
| Yeah, it's just bad habits, I guess, right? | ||
| It's not even bad habits. | ||
| It's almost just necessity. | ||
| If you want to get by in life and you're a person who's, you know, you have a degree and then all of a sudden you have a job and then all of a sudden you have a mortgage and you have a family or whatever the fuck it is that you have. | ||
| Is it X, Y, or Z? The beginning or is it the full money? | ||
| What do you have that's holding you back? | ||
| But when you get to a certain point, when you've accumulated like a mortgage, you've accumulated a car lease and insurance and all this different shit that you have to pay for counseling, it's very, very hard to break free and get your shit together. | ||
| It's very hard to do what you're doing right now. | ||
| You got on the right path. | ||
| You were on this like hell-bent-for-leather thing, like it's either going to work or it's not going to work. | ||
| No, I'd love to just pre-scode. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| You just went out there and it worked. | ||
| It worked fantastic and amazing. | ||
| But the reality is for a lot of people when they got on the wrong track and then they got to change tracks, that's when shit gets hard. | ||
| The key is you got to get on that right track from the get-go. | ||
| Like doing repair work on your life. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Going back and... | ||
| You can always get on the track, I think. | ||
| You think so? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think you can always if you're willing to just go for it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But most people are not really financially able to do that. | ||
| It's too hard. | ||
| It's too hard if you have obligations. | ||
| It'd be hard to live a life that was dictated by, I guess, financials. | ||
| Yeah, it sucks. | ||
| Nothing ever gets done that way. | ||
| You know, especially creatively. | ||
| That's like the worst possible reason you could be creating art. | ||
| It's like, just thinking, I'm gonna get paid! | ||
| Just make, you know, all your illustrations be about how much money can I make off of this. | ||
| Probably wouldn't even work. | ||
| No, of course not. | ||
| They'd come out all clunky and shit. | ||
| And insincere, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like music. | ||
| Or bad comic book artists. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Why does he laugh? | ||
| You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| You don't even have your own microphone. | ||
| Bad comic book artist. | ||
| Yeah, do you remember when you were a kid and you'd get comic books and every now and then some new idiot was like drawing the Hulk and you're like, what is this guy doing? | ||
| Like the Hulk doesn't even look like this. | ||
| I thought it was worse when like, they like, remember Spider-Man when McFarlane used to draw it and it was like really cool and then I guess McFarlane wanted to like leave or whatever and do his own thing. | ||
| So they found somebody that just copied his own style of art and that was really weird. | ||
| Is that Todd McFarlane, the Spawn guy? | ||
| Yeah, he wanted to... | ||
| We gotta get Michael Jai White in here, man. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| Yeah, I think I have his number, but let me check it with you. | ||
| Make sure it's the same one. | ||
| I ran into him at a pool hall recently. | ||
| Yeah, he'd be great on the show. | ||
| I love that dude. | ||
| And he was Spawn, if you don't know who that was, that movie. | ||
| He played Spawn, which is a fucking badass movie. | ||
| But those Spawn comic books are a perfect example. | ||
| That's just so outside the box in comparison to the shit that was around just in the 1950s and the 1960s. | ||
| The really dark storylines and insane artwork. | ||
| That guy did some wild shit. | ||
| And then it just went away. | ||
| Whatever happened to that dude? | ||
| Aww. | ||
| You're so sensitive. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| She's going to get sensitive. | ||
| Well, I'm sure the guy's rich as fuck. | ||
| I mean, I think if he's gone away, it's on purpose. | ||
| You know, I don't think it's at all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's cool. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you know who I'm talking about? | ||
| The guy who made Spawn? | ||
| Did you ever see the Spawn comic books? | ||
| Todd McFarlane. | ||
| See, it's all before your time. | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| Do you read comics? | ||
| I like Terry and the Pirates. | ||
| You're in Tony Hawk's video game, aren't you? | ||
| You guys have an unlockable character that Tony Hawk rides. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| And they gave me an ass, because I don't have an ass. | ||
| I remember they sent me the CGI, whatever thing, because you go in and they do the little scan thing or whatever. | ||
| And I remember going, like, whoa! | ||
| You guys gave me, like, a badonkadon. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| I usually played as your character, because I like playing girl characters for some reason. | ||
| Yeah, they gave me, like, my wristband, my hair is all red. | ||
| Like, it's cool. | ||
| You played me? | ||
| That's awesome! | ||
| Yeah, they had that skateboard where you stepped on. | ||
| I didn't know. | ||
| It wasn't my favorite Tony Hawk game, but that was cool, seeing you in that. | ||
| Oh, man, that's awesome. | ||
| There's a weird emotional connection when you tattoo someone. | ||
| You are on them for life. | ||
| I know for Eddie, that thing is very important to him. | ||
| He's talked about it. | ||
| He tears up when he talks about his grandmother. | ||
| What is that like for you to have all these people running around there that you have this intense emotional connection with something that you've created on their body? | ||
| Oh man, it's awesome. | ||
| I remember one time I was driving to work and this guy was crossing the street and he was really, really tall and I remember he looked like a businessman with a button-up shirt and he was just walking across the street with curly hair and I was staring at him like, I wonder what that guy's deal is. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| What does he do? | ||
| And I could totally draw him. | ||
| He had all his interesting facial features. | ||
| And then I go in to tattoo that day and he was my appointment. | ||
| And I tattooed him and it was the most intense story of like living in fear and regret and just making closure with all these, with death, which is I think one of the harder subjects I think for people. | ||
| And then I remember being done with it and driving back home and seeing him cross the street again to go to wherever his car was parked. | ||
| And I was like, oh, it's like every person could be that guy. | ||
| I just always think about that. | ||
| Especially people who piss me off or annoy me or whatever. | ||
| I'm always like, you just don't know. | ||
| So it's a cool connection, I think. | ||
| You might be the crazy link to the other dimension. | ||
| It might be you. | ||
| It might have been your magic that you used on Eddie there. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| You're connected to another synchronicity like that? | ||
| Yeah, all the time. | ||
| That's so bizarre. | ||
| You tattooed... | ||
| You got to talk into the mic, bro. | ||
| You covered a tattoo once. | ||
| You talked about this before in a different interview where you covered a tattoo of a dude on his dick, right? | ||
| What? | ||
| Cover a dick tattoo. | ||
| It's just so funny because I think when the... | ||
| It's true. | ||
| When it first got on TV, they always ask you the first elementary questions. | ||
| It's like, what was your first tattoo? | ||
| What's the weirdest tattoo? | ||
| And they're always like... | ||
| Pussy foot around like that question like so have you ever tattooed you know like a weird area? | ||
| I'm just like just say it you know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Butthole? | |
| Have you done a butthole? | ||
| That's very recent. | ||
| The girls are starting to do the butthole tattoos. | ||
| No that's awful. | ||
| That's awful? | ||
| Yeah I mean that's like sacred ground. | ||
| No it's physically you know take all the funny stuff out it's like physically a very unhealthy thing to do like the amount of toxins and whatever. | ||
| But anyways. | ||
| Baby wipe. | ||
| Oh, so the actual, the more sensitive tissue. | ||
| It'd probably give you hemorrhoids immediately, I would imagine. | ||
| You're going to have problems, dude. | ||
| And then, you know, that area's really hard to keep clean for some reason. | ||
| You know, I would have to go with the Dr. Drew one on this one. | ||
| Yeah, I would think Dr. Drew might be right about asshole doctors. | ||
| Listen out there, you crazy bitches. | ||
| If Kat Von D is disgusting with asshole tattoos, do not get an asshole tattoo. | ||
| That's just attention-seeking and there's no art aspect behind that. | ||
| Well, maybe it's a beautiful job. | ||
| Maybe it's like some roses in the center of them are all scrunchy and shit. | ||
| And maybe it's just done to be like the most amazing rose. | ||
| Like your asshole looks like a rose. | ||
| Now for the cock one, did you have to have it hard the whole time when you're tattooing it? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| When you talk to a woman, you shouldn't make that jerk off in your face when you're saying hard. | ||
| You were actually doing that. | ||
| I can explain the situation because it sounds so much more perverted than it was. | ||
| There's a guy who had been through some times and had gotten a lot of ghetto... | ||
| Gang tattoos and stuff and all homemade guitar string tattoo collection he had. | ||
| And so we went through over the years and redid all of them. | ||
| He had all these brand new tattoos, some of them covered and improved or whatever. | ||
| And then I remember I become friends with all my clients because you spend such intimate times. | ||
| It's like three hours of intense... | ||
| We're not talking about Butthole tattoos. | ||
| We're talking about life and death and stuff. | ||
| Or whatever we talk about. | ||
| I'm always so heavy. | ||
| I hate that. | ||
| But he was cool. | ||
| And then he came to me very respectfully with his wife. | ||
| And was like, you know, I have this one tattoo. | ||
| And now that I'm remarried and stuff, I'm no longer with Linda. | ||
| I understand if you don't want to do it, it's fine. | ||
| But it kind of bothers a new wife. | ||
| So it was a name on the deck. | ||
| The word Linda. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, the name Linda. | |
| Damn, Linda won. | ||
| Whoever Linda is, she won. | ||
| Most of the time, it just said LA. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| What did you change it to? | ||
| No, so he comes, I'm like, yeah, man, it's cool, you know, and so he comes with his wife. | ||
| No, he comes with his wife. | ||
| And so I was like, yeah, you know, like, I'll put up, like, The partitioners, you know, that you see at the hospital and stuff so that others can't watch or whatever. | ||
| And no, you don't get an erection during that time. | ||
| I don't think you... | ||
| Unless you're... | ||
| You have to spread it out like a butterfly, though? | ||
| Like when you're dissecting a butterfly? | ||
| No, so I had him lay down and then he whips this... | ||
| Tremendous thing? | ||
| It's so crazy like it was like l y n d a apostrophe s it was like hours and hours oh apostrophe s linda's yeah hours and hours of tattooing i was just basically saying it was quite a large tattoo it was a large penis you took your time on it as well just to clarify the penis and the tattoo were both large i mean it would be like you talking to an ob-gyn about you know a 8 inches? | ||
|
unidentified
|
To you. | |
| To you, it might have been like talking to an OBGYN. To a dude who's got a girl touching his penis even under such inauspicious circumstances as covering over. | ||
| Please, whatever. | ||
| And it's not that way. | ||
| I mean, it's like... | ||
| Oh, that's so silly. | ||
| It's always that way. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| There's not 90% of it. | ||
| Maybe only 10% that way. | ||
| But 10% is that way. | ||
| That probably got him through. | ||
| So when you go to your doctor and he touches your wee-wee... | ||
| 20%. | ||
| My doctor doesn't look like you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| If my doctor looked like you and touched my penis, I'm sure I'd have a problem. | ||
| I might have to beat off before I got to the office. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stop it. | |
| You guys are awful. | ||
| That's what dudes do. | ||
| I wouldn't want to think that way. | ||
| Not every dude does that. | ||
| Oh my god, you're so crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
90%. | |
| Why don't you go online and look up doctor porn. | ||
| Like the female doctors who make out with the men and have sex with them. | ||
| I know what you need. | ||
| You don't need medicine. | ||
| You need sugar. | ||
| Oh my god, that's so sad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| No, it's not sad. | ||
| It's just reality. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with that. | ||
| Well, reality is very sad. | ||
| Well, it's not sad. | ||
| Dudes would be massively attracted to this idea that a beautiful doctor is going to get intimate with them. | ||
| I'm not going to get into it. | ||
| But even just touching their intimate parts in some sort of a doctor sort of a thing. | ||
| Like, so what's wrong with your penis, Johnny? | ||
| Sorry I brought this up. | ||
| I apologize. | ||
| Don't be mad at me, please. | ||
| All I'm saying is, you're a beautiful woman. | ||
| And if you were a doctor, a certain amount of your patients would most certainly love it if you examined their penis. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I don't think it's that way so much anymore. | ||
| Mind you, I did that tattoo when I was like, you know, I don't know, like 19 or 20. When you were even hotter. | ||
| Oh, thanks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck is that? | |
| Everybody's retarded today. | ||
| Jesus Christ, Eddie Bravo. | ||
| That doesn't help your point. | ||
| That doesn't help your point. | ||
| How dare you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was when I was 17. That makes it better. | |
| No, I was like drunk back then and I was totally out of shape versus now. | ||
| Yeah, what you're saying is, you're saying she looks worse. | ||
| No, I wasn't saying that. | ||
| You can never say that to a girl. | ||
| I wasn't saying that. | ||
| I apologize. | ||
| So what did you turn it into? | ||
| I was trying to be funny. | ||
| At the time, he just wanted to get... | ||
| It said Linda's? | ||
| Did it say apostrophe S? Like Linda's dick? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| This is Linda's. | ||
| Not anymore. | ||
| I wonder if Linda's still alive. | ||
| Fuck yeah, she's alive. | ||
| She took Griselda Blanco's place in Colombia. | ||
| Linda's down there running shit, capping motherfuckers, and driving around on a 10-speed. | ||
| So what did you turn it into? | ||
| I think it was just like some tribal design or something back then. | ||
| A tribal? | ||
| But I mean, it was like, you don't have that much work. | ||
| That's my Maori dick. | ||
| You guys, stop. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| She did some biomech on that shit. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| All my like... | ||
| All my work goes down to this tattoo. | ||
| Some Geiger shit. | ||
| I want to get Tower 7 on my dick. | ||
| No, we're not listening. | ||
| We're definitely not saying that all you work. | ||
| You should have just did the portrait of his new wife on top of that shit. | ||
| With a chainsaw cutting Linda up. | ||
| Like a chainsaw hitting Linda and blood splattering all over. | ||
| So it's not Linda's. | ||
| Fuck that bitch. | ||
| Why didn't he opt to get the laser on the penis? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You know, I don't know. | ||
| Back then, I don't think it was as... | ||
| Stop. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stop. | |
| I'm like scanning my brain for any other tattoo reference I could jump to. | ||
| What's worse, a burning laser or needles? | ||
| Are you like, did you have to like pull on it and flatten it? | ||
| No. | ||
| Like how did you want it? | ||
| Like a butterfly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or a frog. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I mean like if somebody was sitting, like if he was sitting here then I would get dental bibs around all of it and then I would just, oh god this is awful. | ||
| No it's not. | ||
| No, there's no, there's not, in no way is it sexual. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| We're not saying that. | ||
| We're not saying you got off. | ||
| Did you spit on it before you started? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| The approach. | ||
| The middle of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're just saying. | |
| We're just saying. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| You guys. | ||
| It is a very extraordinary tattoo. | ||
| Did you guys just take your knuckles and do that thing that you guys do? | ||
| I had to give him knuckles for that one. | ||
| What did he say? | ||
| He just said, did you spit on it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Come on, man. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| In the moment, it was just perfect. | ||
| That's like one of those Daniel Tosh moments. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| In the moment, it was perfect. | ||
| He's ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah, look, it certainly was not sexual. | ||
| I mean, it has to be insanely painful. | ||
| You'd have to be, like, a really sick, but then there's a lot of sick fucks who are, like, really into pain, right? | ||
| No, I think he was more embarrassed than anything, and he was really, again, like, his wife was there, and it was a very, you know, I think he was almost... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I would have made sure about him to have sex right before, just in case. | ||
| Do you think that's Linda's go-to shit, that Linda just, you gotta tattoo my name on your dick. | ||
| That's the only way this gonna work. | ||
| LAUGHTER She's got a headboard with notches and how many dudes have tattooed her name on their dick. | ||
| What a gangster chick that chick must be. | ||
| Maybe it was his idea. | ||
| To get her back. | ||
| Doubt it, doubt it, doubt it. | ||
| We need to know the story. | ||
| Do you see our number? | ||
| You guys are still friends, right? | ||
| No, don't call that dude up. | ||
| I'll email him. | ||
| Hello, you don't know me, but... | ||
| But I know about your dick. | ||
| Just curious. | ||
| And you don't have to answer. | ||
| Have you ever been in the middle of tattooing someone and for whatever reason you just told them to get the fuck out of there like I can't do you, you're giving me bad energy, you're annoying, you're crying too much, you're... | ||
| Have you ever had to stop a tattoo? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Um... | |
| Probably because of stench a couple times, right? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| B.O. or anything? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| You're like, damn! | ||
| Bad wiper. | ||
| You guys are awful. | ||
| You do have to stop. | ||
| No, I don't know. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| There was one tattoo that... | ||
| Ah, fuck. | ||
| These don't sound like interesting stories to me, but they probably are. | ||
| Um... | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Twice, there's two different people that, like, their wife went into labor during their tattoo. | ||
| One of them was... | ||
| It's probably because they knew, the wife knew, that you were tattooing the husband. | ||
| No, it was so awesome. | ||
| Like, one of them, I remember, was, like, Mira Sorvino's... | ||
| Superhot tattooed chick all around. | ||
| What's my husband doing? | ||
| No, this is a great story because it was very sweet, actually. | ||
| It was Mira Sorvino's husband, and he was getting a pinup girl version of her tattooed on his leg. | ||
| And then halfway through, he got the phone call. | ||
| And we're like, ah, we'll just finish it another day. | ||
| And that's sweet. | ||
| I thought that was nice. | ||
| Oh, that is sweet. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not that interesting. | ||
| Has anybody ever come to you with some, like, crazy demonic shit and you're like, I just don't want to get into this? | ||
| I mean, I don't do any tattoos that really go against any of, like, my moral... | ||
| I mean, you know, the crazy thing is nowadays it's so different than when it used to be. | ||
| Like, I used to... | ||
| I just tattoo a lot of... | ||
| The people who are getting tattooed by me now are just more serious collectors, so I'm not really dealing with a lot of riffraff or weirdness. | ||
| But in the past, I'm digging deep into the past right now. | ||
| So yeah, I mean, sometimes people would come in and wanting to get... | ||
| Tattoos that I don't necessarily agree with. | ||
| I don't need the money, so I don't need to tattoo you if I don't feel good about it. | ||
| If it's something creepy. | ||
| Yeah, even though it is my gift to the person, it's also a collaborative experience, so I have to feel good about it. | ||
| It also goes for things that I don't think I'm good at. | ||
| There's certain things that I'm just not good at. | ||
| I would bet that you would be really good if you wanted to do some Paul Booth type shit. | ||
| Oh, I like all the evil stuff. | ||
| Heavy, evil shit. | ||
| I like stuff like that. | ||
| You do that kind of stuff? | ||
| Yeah, I like all kinds of art. | ||
| I think some of the creepiest stuff is a lot of the old Catholic artwork. | ||
| The reason that it's so striking and it affects and moves people is because it's very... | ||
| It gives you fear. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's powerful. | ||
| So I love that stuff. | ||
| I wear a lot of crosses and stuff and it may not be for the meanings that most people assume it would be. | ||
| I just like what crosses look like. | ||
| A friend of mine went to Italy and while he was there he took a photo of the ceiling of some religious place. | ||
| That the outside edge of the photo, the center is heaven. | ||
| Yeah, and it looks like you're in a grave. | ||
| And the outside edge is all these demons. | ||
| And they're shoving, like, pitchforks up dudes' asses. | ||
| It's crazy back then. | ||
| I'm like, it's really intense. | ||
| If you look at, like, all the Hieronymus Bosch stuff. | ||
| I mean, that stuff's, like, I think painted in the 1500s, 1600s. | ||
| Isn't, like, the Danish, I think he was? | ||
| I mean, that shit was so ahead of its time. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's crazy. | |
| Crazy, scary. | ||
| So weird. | ||
| And back then, I mean, they really believed that, too. | ||
| I mean, when you were drawing those paintings of the demons skewering dudes in their assholes, like, people really thought that that was going to happen to you if you died and you went to hell. | ||
| Well, I think Caravaggio is one of my favorites, you know, from that era. | ||
| I think he was one of the first more influential painters of the time that started doing renditions of biblical stories and stuff, but painting like Jesus and painting Jesus more in like a very human-like fashion, so it was even more real. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| It wasn't like this, you know, golden aura and rays and wings and all that stuff. | ||
| He made him look like you and I, and so you would see, like, crucifixion pieces and stuff that, I mean, you feel it. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| It's fucked up when you look at, like, all the old crucifixion images. | ||
| Crucifixions are crazy just to begin with, straight up. | ||
| It's a crazy way to kill somebody. | ||
| I mean, you just nail them to them. | ||
| Yeah, it's nuts. | ||
| I mean, but in the old pictures, he was always, like, in pretty good shape, except for the holes in his arms. | ||
| I mean, he wasn't all fucked up. | ||
| He was 7% body fat. | ||
| That's not what I meant. | ||
| What I meant was he was okay. | ||
| He wasn't all fucked up, like the Mel Gibson movie. | ||
| But, like, the interpretation of it now... | ||
| It's like, if you go to see that Mel Gibson movie, that's our version of what would have happened when he... | ||
| I mean, that was horrific. | ||
| I mean, that was really scary shit. | ||
| Like, the beatings that they did to him, and they had to have that fake body that was, like, bleeding on all these different areas. | ||
| I mean, it was like a fake robot Jesus. | ||
| Oh, you think about all, like, the medieval torture devices that have been made. | ||
| I mean, it's crazy. | ||
| It's crazy that people even invented or thought of things. | ||
| Yeah, the racks. | ||
| Iron Maiden and all that. | ||
| Horrifying shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cat piano. | |
| Have you ever seen that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is that? | |
| The pictures of the cat piano they used to have. | ||
| This was only like a hundred years ago. | ||
| No, what is it? | ||
| Where they had a bunch of cats lined up and had these things that would poke the cat and make them meow, and you played the piano. | ||
| Oh, it's so sad. | ||
| It was a cat piano. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| They didn't give a fuck about cats back then. | ||
| The mortality rate for people. | ||
| I do too. | ||
| I'd love my cat more if she would stop peeing in my fucking house. | ||
| How many cats do you have? | ||
| Dirty little bitch. | ||
| I only have one. | ||
| I'm not a crazy cat lady. | ||
| I just love my cat. | ||
| Do you want another one? | ||
| Is it hairless? | ||
| Because I have a hairless cat and they get kind of... | ||
| It's the opposite. | ||
| He's got full hair. | ||
| Because your cat would just kick his cat's ass all the time. | ||
| His cat's a fluff ball. | ||
| Aw, that's cute. | ||
| I can't stop my cat from peeing in my fucking house. | ||
| She just likes to not pee where the litter box is. | ||
| This must be the most boring interview for you guys, like, talking about... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| Well, I don't know. | ||
| No, we always go there. | ||
| What do you guys talk about? | ||
| If I wasn't here, what would you be talking about? | ||
| We might be talking about this. | ||
| Seriously. | ||
| No, it's not boring to us. | ||
| You're not boring at all. | ||
| Don't even say that. | ||
| That's not what it is. | ||
| There's a cat clock right there. | ||
| We talk about anything and everything. | ||
| There's a cat clock. | ||
| Yeah, the fucking thing goes off every hour at meows. | ||
| Yeah, it ruins the podcast. | ||
| In ten minutes, you're going to hear meow, meow, and you're going to go, what the fuck? | ||
| There's cats all over the desk. | ||
| Clearly, the guy's obsessed with cats. | ||
| Oh, yeah, you have a cat t-shirt. | ||
| There's something wrong with him. | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| I just like the lucky cat. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck's wrong with him, but he's okay. | ||
| Do you ever do lucky cat tattoos? | ||
| I've done one, yeah, before. | ||
| A couple times back in the day. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| When did you first start off practicing on? | ||
| Did you use pig skin? | ||
| No, I just tattooed people. | ||
| See, I was underage, so I had a plethora of friends that were underage and couldn't get tattoos, so they were just... | ||
| Oh wow, so you tattooed them? | ||
| Where'd you get the needles? | ||
| Well, at the time I had a friend that believed in me and who worked at a shop. | ||
| I mean, you know, this was in the ghetto in San Bernardino, so it's like things were a lot different than they are now. | ||
| And so like my first shop that I worked at, I remember it was called Sin City Tattoo at the time. | ||
| It was like on Highland and East Street, which was like such a really gnarly part out there. | ||
| I don't know if it's cleaned up, but I know there's a jail right down the street. | ||
| That's never good. | ||
| Yeah, there's people getting robbed all the time except us because I think we were tattooing all the thieves and stuff. | ||
| And back then, the wars between tattoo shops were so different and it was all bikers. | ||
| My boss, come to think of it, probably wasn't even his real name. | ||
| He was gnarly, I mean... | ||
| There was wars between tattoo shops? | ||
| Oh yeah, like if you opened up a shop in a mile radius, you would get... | ||
| I mean, I remember we'd get shot at... | ||
| What is it called? | ||
| Something cocktails with the fire and you try... | ||
| Molotov cocktail? | ||
| Yeah, we'd get those through the windows. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Oh yeah, it was crazy. | ||
| It's just, it was rough. | ||
| While you guys were working, this would happen? | ||
| All the time. | ||
| I mean, I think my first, yeah, I mean, it was pretty brutal. | ||
| There's reasons for my, I feel bad for my parents because they're like, oh my God, they had to like imagine all the things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And I was 16 when I first got into that shop and I remember going, hey man, I'm underage. | ||
| And he's like, he looked at my shitty portfolio of Polaroids that were blurry and crappy and he was like, eh. | ||
| And then I showed him my drawings and he goes, oh, okay, yeah, you could do it. | ||
| And I remember he used to say, you're going to fly far, far away. | ||
| I'm like, no, I'm going to stay here forever. | ||
| Like, see you later, San Bernardino. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| You sold them down the river? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| It was such a rough place for a 16-year-old girl to be at. | ||
| San Bernardino's rough for your 60s. | ||
| Yeah, totally. | ||
| It's rough for everybody. | ||
| That's a tricky area. | ||
| Yeah, and I lived right down the street with a prostitute at the time. | ||
| It was rough, you know? | ||
| I mean, it was awful. | ||
| Were you buddies? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No, no. | ||
| I met her because I had been working at a movie theater before that, passing out popcorn. | ||
| And, like, she worked there, and I needed a place to stay next to the shop. | ||
| And so I would pretty much take care of her kids while she would go in and out of her drug comatose. | ||
| It was sad. | ||
| It was very sad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Really hard. | ||
| But I just knew that if I could be close to the shop, I could tattoo every day and practice. | ||
| And I would literally go in and open the shop and stay till midnight. | ||
| Like, you know, it was like 11 to midnight every day. | ||
| I tattooed so much back then. | ||
| How long did it take before you were comfortable with the medium of skin, of like moving it around, pulling it to manipulate it? | ||
| Tattooing? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Oh, I was comfortable from the beginning, but that was because when I was tattooing unprofessionally outside of a shop, I didn't know what I was doing, so there was no bar to... | ||
| I was like, oh, cool, you want to get a misfit skull? | ||
| That's awesome! | ||
| And I would just tattoo it, and it'd be like, yeah, it was like eight hours later. | ||
| But then once I got to my first shop, I had to unlearn a lot of things, and I was like, what? | ||
| There's more than one kind of tattoo machine and different needles, and... | ||
| The cleanliness and the sterility aspect of it, all the important stuff. | ||
| And so I'm just relearning it. | ||
| But looking back, you know, it was actually awesome that I was brought up in that ghetto upbringing because it definitely is the reason why I tattoo the style that I do because, you know, gangsters get cool tattoos. | ||
| They all get all the fine line black and gray stuff and I do a lot of names and memory ofs and all that stuff and old English lettering and lots of heinas and gestures and all this shit. | ||
| I wanted to be a comic book artist when I was a kid. | ||
| You did? | ||
| Yeah, I drew a lot of different wild shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| One of the things that I did is I drew on my friends. | ||
| I would just draw on them. | ||
| Like I would draw fake tattoos on them. | ||
| Like really intense, detailed fake tattoos that would take like hours. | ||
| And I did that because I was thinking about getting a tattoo for a while. | ||
| Do you still draw? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I still draw all the time. | ||
| I want to see it. | ||
| Yeah, I'll send you some shit. | ||
| But my best stuff was when I did it every day, and that's when I was in high school. | ||
| But I had one cunty teacher in high school as an art teacher. | ||
| It was just so negative. | ||
| I didn't want to have anything to do with art anymore. | ||
| I was like, this guy's just a downer. | ||
| He just was always negative. | ||
| I failed my art classes in school. | ||
| But a lot of it's just because I was too punk rock to follow instructions. | ||
| But it's like I just... | ||
| I want to draw things the way they are. | ||
| I mean, yeah, let's learn about the history of fucking cubism or whatever the fuck. | ||
| But when it comes to drawing stuff, I don't want to do two-point perspective. | ||
| I just want to do it as it is. | ||
| And I'd rather draw this stapler as it is versus... | ||
| You want to do what you want to do. | ||
| Yeah, you can't teach technique. | ||
| But anyways, I would fail all these classes. | ||
| And I'm like, I don't need this shit. | ||
| Yeah, it's like you have an idea that you want to get out. | ||
| You have your expression that you want to get out. | ||
| And the problem is when someone says, no, I don't want you to get that out. | ||
| I want you to work on that. | ||
| It's like you have these brief moments where these doors are open, where this creativity wants to run through. | ||
| And when you're sitting there, I mean, in one sense, it's good to be disciplined, and it's good to be regimented, and it's good to have good fundamentals. | ||
| But it's also good to just let it go when you want to let it go. | ||
| Like you could learn all those things in your own time as far as And I think there are... | ||
| Granted, I think there are some good art teachers out there, but I think that would be such a tricky thing to do because it's such a personal thing, too, you know? | ||
| So it would require a person that was... | ||
| Well, you know, Doug Stanhope and I, we've talked about teaching comedy classes that you could never... | ||
| First of all, you could never charge. | ||
| Like, there's a lot of people that have, like, these comedy classes where, you know, they charge this ridiculous amount of money, you go through all this crazy bullshit with them, and they pretend to turn you into a comedian. | ||
| And we're like, it should be free, you can't charge... | ||
| And you really can't give them any fucking advice because there's almost nothing you can tell them. | ||
| I mean, that should be what the comedy class is. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| One of the last comedy shows I came to was right here. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're here all the time. | ||
| As a matter of fact, we're here Wednesday night. | ||
| There's Joey Diaz, Brian Callan, Duncan Trussell, and me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Awesome. | |
| And maybe Brian, if he can come on, sweetie. | ||
| It's a long story. | ||
| Deep story. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| We won't go into that. | ||
| But, yeah, it's an awesome place. | ||
| The Ice House Comedy Club has been around forever. | ||
| It's been 1961, I think, is when it first was opened. | ||
| Yeah, it's like 50 years. | ||
| I did my first set here in 94. Really? | ||
| Yeah, when I first moved here from New York. | ||
| Comedy's hard, man. | ||
| There's a whole thing to it. | ||
| It is and it isn't. | ||
| Well, I mean, I just think it's not anybody could just go up there and tell a story. | ||
| I mean, some people are really good storytellers, but I think there's a whole thing to it. | ||
| Well, you know how for you, when you sit down and you draw, it's like you know you know how to fucking draw. | ||
| You've been doing it forever. | ||
| But if you hadn't ever done it before, practiced it before, really, Forced your hand to move in the way that you want it to in order to create this image. | ||
| It'd be almost alien, almost impossible. | ||
| For a lot of people, they look at the artwork that you do and it's almost incomprehensible. | ||
| To wrap their head around how someone could recreate something like that. | ||
| How can you do that? | ||
| How can you do that? | ||
| It's the same thing with comedy. | ||
| You do it enough times. | ||
| Or jujitsu. | ||
| Or music. | ||
| You do it enough times. | ||
| And it just becomes you. | ||
| It becomes you. | ||
| But yeah, it's hard to get there. | ||
| But not really. | ||
| I mean, it is and it isn't. | ||
| It's like Joey Diaz said it best. | ||
| He said, comedy is the hardest, easiest thing you'll ever do. | ||
| Because it's fucking really hard. | ||
| It's easy if you're good at it. | ||
| Yeah, to get it to where it's easy. | ||
| I just can't imagine drawing without an eraser for a tattoo artist. | ||
| That just seems to me like the scariest thing in the world because I've never drawn something that I didn't erase something on or change or wish I did something different. | ||
| And is there times when you're tattooing, you're like, shit, I have to now work around this. | ||
| Well, you also got to think about the time you're putting in as opposed to the time she's putting in. | ||
| I mean, she's doing like, you know, you're probably tattooing eight, ten hours a day, right? | ||
| How many hours a day are you doing this? | ||
| Nowadays? | ||
| Or were you? | ||
| Well, when I first started, oh yeah, I mean it was so many hours. | ||
| I didn't have a day off until my first days off. | ||
| I started like three or four years ago. | ||
| I started taking Sundays off. | ||
| Did you ever have any idea that you could have some sort of reality show type success like this? | ||
| No, I wouldn't watch TV. I mean, but was there any idea that you could have this kind of success? | ||
| I mean, did you ever think that... | ||
| Did you have this in your head? | ||
| No, I just see, like, things in the... | ||
| Like, I see things differently. | ||
| Or, I don't know, I just see things, like... | ||
| Like, oh, there's an opportunity. | ||
| Or, oh, that. | ||
| You can make this out of that. | ||
| And I think a lot of people maybe just blind themselves to that. | ||
| So, I don't know. | ||
| I never wanted that. | ||
| It's not... | ||
| I actually was... | ||
| But it didn't exist before. | ||
| It didn't exist. | ||
| Celebrity tattooists didn't exist. | ||
| I mean, the Ed Hardy type dudes. | ||
| There was a few names. | ||
| Yeah, it's not the same. | ||
| Yeah, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Of course, I never in a million years imagined this stuff. | ||
| I mean, if you knew where I was born and where I come from, it's totally different. | ||
| It's the opposite of this stuff. | ||
| But I don't know. | ||
| I'm not that impressed by that stuff. | ||
| It's cool. | ||
| It's cool and I'm very appreciative. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| Like, oh, I get to do more of this stuff. | ||
| When I talk about it, I'm not saying it in terms of your common perception of how people view success and look at her, she's on TV. It's not that. | ||
| What I mean is how receptive people are and how much resonance your work is having on people. | ||
| Never in a million years would I imagine that. | ||
| I was like the weird girl. | ||
| Maybe that's why I'm bad at compliments and stuff. | ||
| I'm just not used to that still. | ||
| Yeah, that's got to be kind of awkward, right? | ||
| But it's a really fascinating thing that you've done. | ||
| But now that I'm not like how he thinks I used to be, I guess it's like... | ||
| Like what? | ||
| Oh, that's when you were hotter back then. | ||
| Oh, see? | ||
| Dude, I told you. | ||
| She's still riding on that. | ||
| We let that joke fly over our heads, but she's still holding on to it, man. | ||
| That was actually a compliment. | ||
| It's like a hot lava rock and her arm's burning her soul. | ||
| I know. | ||
| No way, no way. | ||
| By the way, look how beautiful her shoes look today, Joe. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Do you like shoes or something? | ||
| I'm just kidding. | ||
| I sort of came from Disneyland. | ||
| Those are pretty cool. | ||
| There was such a stigma. | ||
| I'm guilty of it too. | ||
| Do you like shoes or something? | ||
|
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|
No. | |
| I'm not a freak. | ||
| I love shoes. | ||
| I'm a normal guy. | ||
| Usually growing up, you think tattoos, like for me, my uncles had tattoos. | ||
| I'm sure that influenced me. | ||
| But, you know, generally girls that got tattoos, they generally weren't hot. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Generally. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I can imagine... | ||
| The amount of guys that were thought, like, damn, she's so hot. | ||
| She's ruining herself with the tattoos or something. | ||
| And now look at her now. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Most guys wouldn't think that, though. | ||
| That's an illusion that girls have, I think. | ||
| You know, most guys. | ||
| You'd be amazed at how little we give a fuck about, like, a lot of shit that you have. | ||
| I think it's just more a different generation, that's all. | ||
| Guys are into body shapes. | ||
| You change the perception single-handedly, though. | ||
| Oh yeah, without a doubt, you definitely threw a monkey wrench into the whole idea of what's hot. | ||
| And there was one movie with... | ||
| Because you took it deep. | ||
| There was a movie with Will Ferrell, I think. | ||
| It wasn't like an extreme comedy. | ||
| But the love interest, and they never really addressed it in the movie, had a sleeve. | ||
| You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| Right. | ||
| The love interest had a sleeve, and I think it was fake or whatever, but they never talked about it. | ||
| She was just a chick who worked at a bakery. | ||
| And Will Ferrell, I think that's what it was, fell in love with her or whatever. | ||
| That never existed. | ||
| Man, all the movie offers I've ever gotten are like... | ||
| Hooker, drug dealer, vampire, what else? | ||
| Zombie. | ||
| Random goth chick. | ||
| Yeah, it's never... | ||
| Club scene. | ||
| The cute chick that dates Will Ferrell or whatever. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Yeah, it's weird how the perception of what tattoos are over the last couple of decades. | ||
| When I was a kid, no one had sleeves. | ||
| My friend's dad's never had sleeves. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| But then, you know... | ||
| Today it's so common. | ||
| How much more common is our tattoos today than when we were kids? | ||
| Huge. | ||
| You gotta talk into the thing, man. | ||
| You know, Victor, a really good friend of ours has a son. | ||
| His name is Tori. | ||
| And Victor has sleeves. | ||
| He has a lot of tattoos. | ||
| And his son is 11 or 12 now. | ||
| And the last time I hung out with him, his son was drawing on himself. | ||
| For the whole night, he had just marked... | ||
| He felt really cool because he was like his dad. | ||
| So that would be... | ||
| For sure he's going to get tattoos. | ||
| It just seems like he is. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Kids are always more open-minded and stuff because they're not tainted by society. | ||
| But he would get the tattoos because he thought it was cool because his dad... | ||
| Because him and his dad have an amazing relationship. | ||
| There's no lack of love in that kid's life. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| From what you know. | ||
| I'm just kidding. | ||
| Whoa, no shit. | ||
| She just hit you with the real son. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| It is true though. | ||
| His dad's awesome. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Victor's a great... | ||
| They have a great relationship. | ||
| He's a sweetheart of a guy. | ||
| Yeah, that kid probably... | ||
| Well, it's a weird rite of passage thing too for a young man. | ||
| It's like when some young kids want to smoke. | ||
| They're not around their parents. | ||
| They want to have that cigarette so they can pretend to be an adult. | ||
| If they have friends that smoke, like older friends or something. | ||
| Yeah, that. | ||
| Or if they see their parents do it and they sneak them out and they get them together, you know? | ||
| That's what I did when I was a kid. | ||
| We'd sneak out booze. | ||
| We saw our parents drinking, so I'd find booze in my parents' house and sneak it out into the woods. | ||
| And we'd do it because we'd pretend to be like adults, you know? | ||
| It's not really like we wanted to get drunk. | ||
| We're only at like 11, you know? | ||
| But we, you know, kids do that. | ||
| What the hell's wrong with me, man? | ||
| My parents were so square and like... | ||
| Sounds like your parents were just super disciplined. | ||
| Yeah, so where did I get it from? | ||
| Maybe it's just a reaction to that. | ||
| The fact that you had to practice all the time and you were very regimented and disciplined and you just became a wild sort of thing because of that. | ||
| Because of the fact that you were so boxed in by a rigid sort of... | ||
| But I wasn't wild. | ||
| I mean, I looked crazy, but I just loved punk rock. | ||
| It's probably just music, the influence of music, I think it was. | ||
| I was like, there's more out there. | ||
| Yeah, if you're totally into punk, you're gonna get some tattoos. | ||
| Eventually. | ||
| You're gonna get something. | ||
| Something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you're really into punk. | ||
| That black flag thing, you might get that. | ||
| I just barely got those bars tattoos. | ||
| Bad boy. | ||
| Like, this last month. | ||
| I was like, I can't believe I haven't already had them. | ||
| The black flag bars? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| You just got them? | ||
| Oh, that's cool. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's nice. | ||
| And you're like, oh my god, I forgot that one. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| No, I was like, how did I not have that already? | ||
| Do you, I mean, you said you covered up some that were on your left arm. | ||
| Are you done covering them? | ||
| Or do you look at your leg? | ||
| No, I have like a few that like, like one on my leg that I started lasering but it hurts so much. | ||
| And also I just, again, time consumption. | ||
| It's harder for me to get tattooed because I'm busy either doing them or doing all the other stuff I do. | ||
| So it's like, But, yeah, there's a few that I think I would... | ||
| I mean, just for the sake of making more room or something. | ||
| Making more room? | ||
| Isn't that crazy, though? | ||
| Maybe the Spin Doctors would become popular again. | ||
| Do you have any bands that are just totally whacked that are tattooed on you? | ||
| No, I only listen to rad music. | ||
| But, I mean, at one point in time, you loved them, and now you're like, I can't believe I tattooed those guys on me. | ||
| I think I've always liked rad music. | ||
| Always. | ||
| I've always been cool. | ||
| You've always had good taste. | ||
| So, with the ones that you're thinking about lasering off, you just have some ideas and you need some space for it. | ||
| No, I mean, there's just some that, like, I don't have regrets. | ||
| Like, I could live with them or without them, you know? | ||
| But I think, like... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I haven't had that many boyfriends in my entire life. | ||
| Cue the violin, Brian. | ||
| Do you have the violin? | ||
| No, you've got to be quicker with that, Brian. | ||
| Yeah, you've got to be ready with that violin, son. | ||
| That's terrible violin. | ||
| No, but I've gotten tattoos for... | ||
| Maybe the Hulk music. | ||
| The Hulk walkaway music. | ||
| Oh, that's what it was? | ||
| Wow, that's a terrible... | ||
| You know, the end of the show. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| I'm just hearing you guys. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| So, you don't have, you haven't had that many boyfriends? | ||
| Yeah, and I mean, I think I've gotten, like, some tattoos for whatever those relationships in the past. | ||
| And, like, my first tattoo was a J and whatever, and I still love it. | ||
| But I think there's, like, two portraits I'd like to get lasered off. | ||
| It seems like for you, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems like, to me at least, if I had to guess, it's probably very difficult for you to enter into a relationship because you seem to be like one of those all-in sort of girls. | ||
| Like you fall in love with someone and yeah, all or nothing. | ||
| So you're ready right away, all in, all or nothing, and then it doesn't work, it's nothing. | ||
| And then it's like, it's hard to make that, it's hard to pull that trigger. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| It's hard to pull that all or nothing trigger. | ||
| I don't know any other way. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| I mean, it seems that that's your style. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that bad? | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| But it's hard. | ||
| It's not bad. | ||
| I just think it's hard to make a connection with people that are true to themselves. | ||
| Most of the time, people, when you meet them, they're putting out a perception of themselves as how they would like to be seen. | ||
| So you're already... | ||
| Going through, like, two layers right there of what the person really is. | ||
| Or sometimes they might even be bullshitting themselves how they'd like to be. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| So, like, whereas I'm not by any means perfect, but I pretty much, like, I talk a lot. | ||
| I talk about the same stuff. | ||
| Like, this is the same conversation I'd have with, like, my homie. | ||
| It's like, you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, it's kind of what you see is what you get, you know? | ||
| And I've only met very few people that are that way. | ||
| And so I think that oftentimes you've... | ||
| I tend to fall in love with this perception versus the person. | ||
| And so, in my case, sometimes I feel like it tends to be intense in the beginnings, and then I continue being on fire, and then maybe it's not so much that way. | ||
| But I'm also a very emotional person. | ||
| I'm like very, you know, till the bitter end. | ||
| Well, sometimes people can bullshit you for quite a long time before you really get used to what they're really like. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, totally. | ||
| So three or four months in, you're like, hmm, what am I doing here? | ||
| Three or four months is so short of a time, I think. | ||
| It is a short amount of time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It is. | ||
| But you could find out everything about someone in three or four months of constantly being with them. | ||
| They can only hide their character for so long, which is, I think, but I always wonder about dudes like Paul McCartney. | ||
| Paul McCartney's a bad motherfucker. | ||
| But then you'd hear that ex-wife talk about him. | ||
| You ever heard the woman who had lost her leg in a motorcycle accident? | ||
| No. | ||
| She's demonic. | ||
| I mean, the way that lady would talk about Paul McCartney was like the most terrifying thing. | ||
| What did she say? | ||
| She was ridiculous. | ||
| I don't want to hear about that stuff. | ||
| Yeah, you don't want to hear it. | ||
| I'm like, what did she say? | ||
| Are you kidding? | ||
| Super negative. | ||
| People want to hear. | ||
| Super negative about if anything ever happened to her. | ||
| She has information hidden, secret places about him. | ||
| I'm doing the best to protect my husband. | ||
| She was just a crazy, evil person who wanted stacks of cash from him. | ||
| And his dumbass didn't get a prenuptial. | ||
| And he got roped in by a woman pretending to be something she wasn't. | ||
| And then once he had a kid with her, she just turned on the hooks and... | ||
| Fucking ripped her chest open and a monster flew out, and that was her. | ||
| And that was all the interviews after that. | ||
| You would listen to the interviews and go, how did he not see this coming, man? | ||
| How did he not know that he was with a crazy person? | ||
| Sometimes you want to believe in, I think, people's ability to be something, you know? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Also, he came out of a long-term relationship with Linda McCartney, who was supposed to be an amazing person, a really nice, sweet woman. | ||
| By all accounts, they got along great. | ||
| So he's probably his ideas of what relationships were like. | ||
| He really thought that's what you did. | ||
| You find someone. | ||
| You're just nice to them. | ||
| They're nice to you. | ||
| And this is just the way she really is. | ||
| He didn't even look for all the clues of craziness. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I mean, who knows? | ||
| I always think it's like, unless you're in it, you really don't know what's going on. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's why he speculates. | ||
|
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|
It's fun. | |
| And he talks shit at the same time. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| It's good times. | ||
| Speculating and talking shit on how Paul McCartney got roped in. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| So you haven't had that many boyfriends because of that? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I think I haven't had that many boyfriends because I'm always in long-term relationships, I think is what it is. | ||
| What? | ||
| He's like, so you haven't had any boyfriends? | ||
| Say it that way? | ||
| Damn, man, you're making me sound all creepy. | ||
| No! | ||
| When did he come up with that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I didn't think that. | |
| No, I don't know. | ||
| Thank you, Brian. | ||
| Thanks for having my back, homie. | ||
| No, but no, no. | ||
| So anyway, so... | ||
| Now the music needs to go on. | ||
| I know. | ||
| A girl getting cum on her tattoo again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| It's a really important story. | ||
| Have you ever been to the Olive Garden? | ||
| That is the most ridiculous shit ever. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, love is a funny thing. | ||
| It's hard as fuck. | ||
| But you gotta find the right person. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| I mean, the right person for you might not be the right person for somebody else. | ||
| And finding that perfect interaction with people, it's almost impossible. | ||
| It's so hard. | ||
| It's so hard to line up. | ||
| Especially for a chick like you. | ||
| Because you have to have some serious bad motherfucker. | ||
| You can't just have some regular dude. | ||
| I think it's all about the heart, really, to be honest with you. | ||
| When it comes to the amount of solidness that I guess I require. | ||
| Yeah, but for a dude to not be tweaked by you being all hot and famous, covered in tattoos and all... | ||
| Wild, crazy, famous tattoo lady. | ||
| That's a tough one for a guy. | ||
| That's a serious obstacle. | ||
| You need like a Braveheart dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You need some Maori warrior type character. | ||
| It just seems like... | ||
| I think I would just want to be with somebody who can get it, you know, and like I could relate to or understand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a little chubby and there's a comic or something. | |
| He's putting himself out there. | ||
| That's what he's doing. | ||
| That was my creepiness. | ||
| I like intelligence. | ||
| Women like Jennifer Lopez, she's doomed to a life of betas. | ||
| She's going to have to date these beta men and buy them cars and they'll be younger than her and that's it. | ||
| That's just the way it goes from now on. | ||
| To be a badder motherfucker than Jennifer Lopez, good luck. | ||
| Good luck, fella. | ||
| Who the fuck is? | ||
| You got like Brad Pitt and a couple other dudes, the only people who can date her. | ||
| Her dating pool is down to like five people and most of them are married already. | ||
| It's like, good luck. | ||
| But she's got to go the other way. | ||
| I think you're going to have to go that way too. | ||
| You're going to have to get some beta, manservant type dudes. | ||
| No, I couldn't handle that. | ||
| I'm telling you, that's why I want to bring Brian into your life. | ||
| This shit would be perfect. | ||
| He would worship you. | ||
|
unidentified
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He would set up your website. | |
| Are you on the podcast? | ||
| He could really spice up your Twitter background. | ||
| You can make shit happen. | ||
| That's funny shit. | ||
| If there is one dilemma that people find in life that's most prevalent in our society, It's finding the right person. | ||
| It's probably the biggest dilemma that anybody ever faces. | ||
| When you're growing up, especially, you're always like, man, if I could just find the right girl, if I could just find the right guy. | ||
| For everybody, that's the number one dilemma. | ||
| It's more just like working on yourself first, and then you put yourself in a position. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Because I know that in the past, where it's kind of like the hippie stuff we were talking about earlier, it's like water is seeking its own level, and I feel like... | ||
| I look back at my last... | ||
| You know, a relationship that was an awful mess. | ||
| It's like, part of me feels like, oh my god, I got duped or something. | ||
| But then another part of me is like, I created this to a certain degree too. | ||
| If it's like, if there's like, there's red flags that I failed to see because I wanted to believe that it was something else. | ||
| People do that all the time, so it's more like, okay, well, at the end of the day, what's wrong with me? | ||
| What was my part in it? | ||
| What could I have done to... | ||
| Obviously, that does not discredit people's shitty behavior. | ||
| Obviously, some people suck and stuff, and some people are really good liars and whatever. | ||
| But you have to grow as well. | ||
| Yeah, I think it's more important to put yourself in a situation where you can be receptive to a healthy relationship. | ||
| Like, you know, when I was depressed, I, like, kind of gravitated towards other people that were also sad, and that doesn't help, you know what I mean? | ||
| So, I think, as far as, like, what you're saying is, like, finding somebody at a level or whatever, yeah, there's that nice understandability, like, you know, I can... | ||
| Talk about things that bug me that may not bug like a regular person or whatever, but it's more like the connection of the mind, you know? | ||
| I want to be inspired by somebody who's equally as driven and equally like wanting to create and like that shit drives me crazy like when someone's into it, you know? | ||
| Whether you're a busboy or a fucking famous musician. | ||
| Yeah, what I'm saying is you're fucked. | ||
| You're never going to find a dude like that. | ||
| Yeah, so I read poetry and then why do you think... | ||
| The crazy thing is... | ||
| I said the C word earlier, Jesus. | ||
| Did you really? | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| Anybody dating like a Jessica Alba, that dude has to deal with the fact that She's really good friends with a lot of A-list celebrities, right? | ||
| This is the Siberia thing because it's like all those things are mentally generated ideas of what's important or what's good. | ||
| I don't see it that way, you know what I mean? | ||
| I'm not saying I could fall in love with anybody, but if it's your mind or your soul, whatever you want to call it, I could fall in love with that. | ||
| It really does not... | ||
| Have to do with what the world's perception of you is. | ||
| Yeah, you say that, but you're going to find out how much that gardener makes and be like, bitch, you can't even take me out to dinner. | ||
| What the fuck kind of relationship we got going on here? | ||
| Nah, it's not that way. | ||
| Most of the time, I have issues with dudes paying for my stuff. | ||
| Do you really? | ||
| Yeah, I think it's probably because my own set of issues is like, you know, I'm not a feminist or I don't consider myself anything, but I think... | ||
| You know, just growing up poor, I'm always like, oh, I can do it myself! | ||
| Don't throw me the door for me! | ||
| Yeah, no, that makes sense. | ||
| I would hate to be a girl and have dudes buy me dinner and then expect something from me. | ||
| No, if it's a sincere gift, it's such a difference, you know? | ||
| But I also like, I don't know... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're gonna be single for a long time, kid. | ||
| It's not gonna work out. | ||
| Maybe, maybe not. | ||
| I'd be down or damn. | ||
| I'm just saying. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You're too much of a bad motherfucker. | ||
| It's really gonna be hard. | ||
| There's some bad motherfuckers out there. | ||
| You know how many rock star friends she's like really close to? | ||
| Yeah, you get those guys alone. | ||
| They all fall apart. | ||
| Yeah, but... | ||
| That would intimidate some guys. | ||
| Guys would be like, damn, she's best friends with him, him, him. | ||
| That would be the saddest thing is if you're really into a rock star and then you started dating him and he was just a whiny bitch. | ||
| You'd be like, really, man? | ||
| You stopped liking the music. | ||
| I thought your fucking music was awesome. | ||
| Imagine if you started dating Mick Jagger and just found that he's a cunt. | ||
| Mick Jagger's a fucking dumb cunt. | ||
| You're like, what? | ||
| God damn it! | ||
| That has to be the hardest for a girl. | ||
| Date a rock star and find out he's a dork. | ||
| That would be the hardest shit ever. | ||
| Breaking up with a rock star. | ||
| Mick Jagger. | ||
| That would crush the rock star. | ||
| Fuck yeah, man. | ||
| That would crush him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, that would be devastating. | ||
| Rock stars don't get broken up with. | ||
| They do, though. | ||
| They get dumped. | ||
| Especially in this day and age. | ||
| You know, I think in the protected days of the 60s and the 70s, I've read some shit about Hendrix, man. | ||
| I got so bummed out. | ||
| Because I'm a huge Hendrix fan. | ||
| And I was reading an excerpt from this book about him. | ||
| And one of them was about Jimi Hendrix beating the shit out of his girlfriend. | ||
| They're like, Jimi Hendrix would just smack around on his girlfriends. | ||
| But again, we weren't there. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| Standing up for woman beaters. | ||
| I like it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| No! | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Great culture! | |
| Powerful Jamie Kilstein. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Just because, I don't know. | ||
| No, no, you're absolutely right. | ||
| The guy was a band member. | ||
| He could have been a jealous bitch. | ||
| He's the guy who's in the band with one of the greatest fucking guitars. | ||
| She could have put acid in his coffee. | ||
| It might not have ever happened. | ||
| Beating, I think? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm just kidding. | ||
| Please, that's what he likes. | ||
| A little acid in his coffee. | ||
| No. | ||
| But, I mean, who knows what really happened? | ||
| But reading about that, it was like, wow, that's so... | ||
| Like, you read some tweets that Chris Brown makes, and he's a fucking moron. | ||
| He makes these tweets, and everybody hates him, and they go after him, and then he deletes these tweets. | ||
| What does he say? | ||
| Just really stupid shit about... | ||
| After the whole Rihanna thing, he would get in arguments with people about him beating up women. | ||
| He's a moron. | ||
| So there were really gross kind of tweets. | ||
| But that didn't exist in the Led Zeppelin days. | ||
| There was no Twitter. | ||
| Yeah, there was no internet. | ||
| If they had a podcast or an internet radio show where we got to hear them argue about chicks on the road, and you'd be like, oh, you guys are gross. | ||
| That would suck. | ||
| That would suck. | ||
| It's like the mystery was so much better than... | ||
| It's like Robert Plant, the mystery of Robert Plant. | ||
| I remember growing up being a huge Zeppelin fan. | ||
| I barely knew 10 words that Robert Plant said in an interview. | ||
| I don't think I heard any interviews. | ||
| I just knew. | ||
| I just knew Black Dog was the shit. | ||
| I just knew. | ||
| A whole lot of love was the greatest song in the history of the world. | ||
| That's all I knew. | ||
| I didn't know anything about Robert Plant. | ||
| He might be annoying as fuck. | ||
| Imagine if you've dated Robert Plant, he just turns out to be a total prima donna. | ||
| Just annoying and stupid and always insecure and wants everybody to kiss his ass like, fuck! | ||
| Really? | ||
| Damn! | ||
| It's like when Mel Gibson was screaming at that ex-girlfriend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shut up and blow me! | |
| And he's like yelling on her answering. | ||
| Maybe she was talking so much. | ||
| I'm sure she was. | ||
| I'm sure she was. | ||
| But it was like, we never got a chance to see someone so human before that was like a fucking Mel Gibson. | ||
| I mean, he was Braveheart. | ||
| And then all of a sudden he's screaming to some scammer. | ||
| Some Russian scammer chick who's robbing him and recording all of his phone calls. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| Shut up and blow me! | ||
| And you're like, wow. | ||
| Like, this is Mel Gibson, man. | ||
| This is the Lethal Weapon dude. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| He's actually kind of just like that character in Lethal Weapon, wasn't he? | ||
| Yeah, but he was kind. | ||
| He was crazy, but kind to women. | ||
| What was wrong with the crazy? | ||
| What was wrong with the crazy, first of all, is he was scary as fuck to a woman who had his child. | ||
| Like, he couldn't even keep it together to this woman who had his child. | ||
| That was the scariest thing. | ||
| It's like he had a baby with this person. | ||
| She's watching his baby, and he's fucking screaming bloody murder at her. | ||
| He's a scary dude, you know? | ||
| Didn't that freak you out? | ||
| The Mel Gibson shit? | ||
| No, I don't even know nothing about it. | ||
| I don't give a fuck about Mel Gibson. | ||
| No, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I just... | |
| It's like... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You didn't hear that thing when it was in the news? | ||
| No, I really don't watch television. | ||
| I like knowing the human side of people. | ||
| I love reality shows. | ||
| I actually do. | ||
| I like Mob Wives and Mama Drama. | ||
| Forget about it. | ||
| Watch Mama Drama. | ||
| Is Mama Drama the one with the little girl, the... | ||
| Mama Drama is... | ||
| They take six sets of mothers and daughters that party together. | ||
| They're like 43 and 22. 51. And they put six couples, half of them black, half of them white, in a penthouse in Vegas. | ||
| And they get drunk. | ||
| Every day. | ||
| It's hysterical. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| It's genius. | ||
| Yeah, there's some fun in reality shows, but, you know, it's really like mindless distraction. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| You don't get anything out of it. | ||
| Sometimes you need that. | ||
| Do you like that? | ||
| I like not thinking about shit and watching South Park or watching some mind... | ||
| I want to be mindless. | ||
| It's like meditation. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| I don't mind mindlessness if it's in the form of comedy, like South Park type shit. | ||
| It's nice knowing how people really are. | ||
| Like, holy shit, mob wives in the Chicago season? | ||
| People aren't really like that. | ||
| People aren't really like that. | ||
| They're not? | ||
| No, I mean, I think you're put in a hyper... | ||
| It's such a... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| They put the alcohol, they make them live together. | ||
| It's edited and produced. | ||
| I totally believe that. | ||
| However, there really are people that are acting like that on camera. | ||
| And that's what's fascinating. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| It definitely doesn't inspire anything. | ||
| I TiVo, that shit. | ||
| Some days, Mob Wives comes out? | ||
| Are you kidding? | ||
| It's so stupid. | ||
| The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, I watched the Real Housewives of Miami ad the other day. | ||
| Just the ad. | ||
| And I cringed and I just grabbed the remote controller, shut it off quick. | ||
| Just thinking that these women could enter into my life somehow or another through me watching them on TV. That somehow or another they could make their way into my life and be annoying and yapping at me. | ||
| They were hitting each other and screaming at each other. | ||
| In Miami, you gotta do this and you gotta do that. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| I don't watch that show. | ||
| I don't watch all reality shows. | ||
| Just a couple. | ||
| There's gotta be fighting and violence. | ||
| If there's not fighting, I don't wanna watch it. | ||
| Is that a weird position for you to be in a reality show? | ||
| You got a very different sort of reality show. | ||
| Because it's obviously a reality show about your artwork. | ||
| I mean, it's about your expression. | ||
| It's about your skill. | ||
| Well, I mean, originally we had a docu-series. | ||
| It was a very formatted show. | ||
| It was like where the premise was like you would learn the story behind each of the tattoos and the interaction between tattooer and client. | ||
| That was 80% of the show and then 20% of it was our own personal life stories that were somehow connected to tattooing. | ||
| And then as the show went on, I can't believe we were on for so long. | ||
| How many seasons were you on for? | ||
| It's weird because contractually it's different. | ||
| We're basically on for seven years, six or seven years. | ||
| Wow, that's incredible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it's a great premise for a show. | ||
| Yeah, but then it started warping into more, it flips, so it's like 20% art and 80% drama, and most of it was produced, hence how that girl got on the show, which I don't know her. | ||
| It was fake. | ||
| Yeah, but why do that? | ||
| See, that's Hollywood idiots. | ||
| Because I think, personally, first of all, I'm a fan of tattoos and art. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| And just having a show where it was just you produce it, you dictate what's going on, just about tattoos and art. | ||
| It seems like you could do that, though. | ||
| And people would enjoy it, and it would be pure. | ||
| I mean, I would watch a time-lapse of, oh my god, that's old footage. | ||
| Look how Why shouldn't you do it that way? | ||
| I mean, it seems like someone would be an idiot to try to do it any way other than your personality. | ||
| Why would they not do it that way? | ||
| Well, you know, I think, sadly, it's the demand. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| But it's not the demand. | ||
| It is the demand because what it is, it's all based on money and numbers for the network. | ||
| So whatever... | ||
| Situations and drama show peaks and they have these tests that they run. | ||
| That's what they... | ||
| And I don't believe in it. | ||
| I can't disagree more with you. | ||
| This is why. | ||
| Listen, I would... | ||
| I'm on your side. | ||
| I know you are. | ||
| I know you are. | ||
| But the way that the network sees it is what's going to generate more money and it's going to be viewership because they can sell advertisement. | ||
| They're wrong about that. | ||
| I know they are. | ||
| Of course they're wrong. | ||
| That's why they've played it out. | ||
| Well, what they're doing is they just go with the box. | ||
| They go with what's worked before. | ||
| This is the formula. | ||
| Here's the wacky neighbor. | ||
| Go. | ||
| That's the formula. | ||
| It doesn't have to be that. | ||
| I wish we had a wacky neighbor. | ||
| You can get a wacky neighbor. | ||
| Brian, you want to be your wacky neighbor? | ||
| He would be awesome at it. | ||
| Give you the wacky roommate. | ||
| He's a breakthrough talent, I'm telling you. | ||
| He could really knock you guys over the top. | ||
| Bring the ratings to the top. | ||
| It's just, people enjoy people who are really good at things. | ||
| I mean, that's really what it is. | ||
| Yeah, but people also enjoy train wrecks, which is why you love the Housewives. | ||
| But they don't only enjoy that. | ||
| I don't think they only do, but I think that there is definitely people, not everybody, but some people get lost in that. | ||
| They do, but there's a lot of dumb shit on my DVR. There's plenty of dumb shit. | ||
| I watch dumb shit both for escape and for material, because there's some funny shit in it. | ||
| But there's also a lot of really intelligent shit on my DVR, too. | ||
| Documentaries, that Morgan Freeman show, Through the Wormhole. | ||
| Fucking amazing show. | ||
| But it's like the same people watch both things. | ||
| And I think that a well-produced version of your show that's you decide what the fuck goes on. | ||
| You decide. | ||
| You're the artist. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| You talk to these people about their ideas. | ||
| You create their tattoos. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And stop fucking around with all that fake shit and it would be beautiful. | |
| I would love that. | ||
| Those dumb motherfuckers. | ||
| Leave Kat Von D alone, you stupid fucks. | ||
| No, I just think... | ||
| You Hollywood hacks. | ||
| You just gotta cut out that middleman. | ||
| You cookie-cutter cunts. | ||
| You don't know what you're doing. | ||
| Leave her alone. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, that's it. | ||
| You tell them. | ||
| Yeah, those fucks creating some fake nonsense. | ||
| Silly, silly bitches. | ||
| Yeah, I ended up just filming, like, I secretly filmed a documentary for the last three years, and we're actually finally pretty much done with it. | ||
| And it's awesome, it's so freeing, you know, to be able to do it that way and having the control and stuff. | ||
| And I wish I could have given as much as I gave in my documentary to the show, but I really couldn't because it wasn't mine, you know? | ||
| You should totally have your own show for the internet. | ||
| It would be fucking gigantic. | ||
| Just film while you're working. | ||
| You're going to do it anyway. | ||
| Just film while you're working. | ||
| Loosely edit it. | ||
| Throw a little bumper in the beginning. | ||
| Throw that shit online. | ||
| I'll get a million views a day. | ||
| Nobody wants to see good stuff. | ||
| I know, but I want to create things with a lot of quality, so I can't just half-ass edit stuff. | ||
| Slap that bitch together. | ||
| I have to get my friend who does classical composure. | ||
| You're kind of a control freak, too. | ||
| No, I just have creative intentions. | ||
| An excellence freak. | ||
| You want it to be excellent. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I think nowadays, just with everything I have going on, it's so time-consuming to do a television show. | ||
| Do you take on apprentices or do you have assistants or people who ever work with you who want to learn how to tattoo? | ||
| Has that ever happened? | ||
| We kind of like don't. | ||
| At our shop, you know, I have 20 guys that work with me and I love them. | ||
| We're like, we're brothers and sisters. | ||
| 20 guys! | ||
| Yeah I mean you know this includes like our shop managers and stuff like that you know and and like Dennis he's like my first guy ever hired he's like still there everybody's we're so close like what you see on television those were you know like the the cast members that they didn't work at the shop with the exception of Dan Smith like everybody else kind of just kind of they weren't really the true HVT crew you know I mean right but um And we love each other. | ||
| We love the way it is. | ||
| And I feel like when you have an apprentice, it changes the dynamic because it makes somebody better than somebody else. | ||
| And the way that we work is that we're all good at what we do in different ways. | ||
| So we're all better and not as good as each other. | ||
| And we inspire each other and keep each other. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So it's a collective. | ||
| It's totally collective and it's awesome. | ||
| That sounds badass. | ||
| How does someone break into your fold? | ||
| That's the hardest thing. | ||
| Every time we've let anybody outside the circle in, it's never really worked out the way we need it. | ||
| So it's basically just who we know and kind of comes through that way. | ||
| Were there any people when you were growing up that you looked towards for inspiration that inspired you and just gave you momentum to create art? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I think like when I was a kid, I used to look at tattoo magazines. | ||
| And when I say kid, I mean like 16 and stuff. | ||
| And like, I remember looking up to Jack Rudy. | ||
| He was like, you know, the black and gray Godfather and all this stuff. | ||
| Amazing work that guy did. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And so the day I turned 18, beforehand, I made an appointment with him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Once in advance. | ||
| And I was so excited about it. | ||
| And I went and got this tattoo. | ||
| And I sat there for the fucking six hours it took or whatever. | ||
| And it's one of my favorite tattoos. | ||
| It's so beautiful. | ||
| I still love it. | ||
| But I remember him sitting there going like, you know, you guys don't have any business in the business and all this stuff. | ||
| And I was like an 18 year old kid back then. | ||
| And, you know, he's very old school and like sees things a different way. | ||
| And at the time I was like heartbroken, you know, I was like, oh, my hero, I don't know, he wasn't a hero, but like he was somebody I admired his work. | ||
| Like, shut me down. | ||
| But then at the same time, I'm like, ah, it's cool. | ||
| Like, I'll watch this. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And then now, you know, fast forward now, we know each other and, you know, he's... | ||
| Did you tell him that story? | ||
| Um, no, he knows it. | ||
| He doesn't remember. | ||
| I bet he doesn't remember. | ||
| Yeah, but I remember one of the coolest stories. | ||
| Yeah, when I was tattooing unprofessionally, when I was an amateur 16-year-old, I had heard that there was this girl who owned a shop in Culver City. | ||
| It was the only female artist that owned a shop. | ||
| I was like, whoa, and her name was Erica Stanley. | ||
| She was badass. | ||
| And so I remember going down National, and I go in there, and I was like... | ||
| Oh my god, we're here, and it was just a tattoo shop, whatever, and I see her, and she's like really beautiful, and she's just like a power, she's like a force of nature, and she's like, can I help you? | ||
| And I'm like, yeah, you know, and I was just probably being overly cocky, thinking that I had gained a place in the tattoo industry when I was just a 16-year-old little pumpkin with a bullshit bang on my arm, and it's like, And I'm just like, oh man, so do you have any advice for me? | ||
| And I remember she's like, yeah, the best advice I could give you is run while you can. | ||
| And I remember I was so pissed off, like, oh yeah, well, fuck you, you know? | ||
| And I left, and then years later, I understood what she meant by it. | ||
| You know, it wasn't that she was saying, oh, you're not good enough. | ||
| It's just like, ah, like if you got the eye of the tiger, you're going to do it, and you're going to figure out yourself. | ||
| There's nothing I could tell you that's going to make you badass, you know? | ||
| If I were to sit there and coddle you, like... | ||
| How good is that? | ||
| And she saw tattooing as sacred. | ||
| And I remember I went to my first tattoo convention when I was 18. It was like Ink Slingers. | ||
| I don't even know if it's still around. | ||
| And one of these guys that I tattooed a Vargas portrait on entered it into the contest of best black and gray. | ||
| And she was the judge. | ||
| And, you know, she never knew my name at the time when I was 16. And I got first place. | ||
| And she voted for me. | ||
| And I remember going up. | ||
| She's like, oh, congratulations. | ||
| It was really beautiful. | ||
| I'm like, hey, you know what? | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| When I was 16, I went to your shop and you told me that I should go run while I can. | ||
| And she goes, oh my god. | ||
| No, I'm like, I just want to say thank you. | ||
| It's cool, you know? | ||
| Well, you accepted that inspiration the right way. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And she's still badass. | ||
| It was cool. | ||
| You know, she's still, I think, a pioneer as far as LA goes, you know? | ||
| And it's cool. | ||
| Comics and tattoo artists have a lot in common in that it's very much an outside chance of success. | ||
| We're all fucked up. | ||
| Yeah, we're both fucked up. | ||
| We both have too much expression. | ||
| And it's one of those things where, like, you know, if you say, what does your daughter do? | ||
| Oh, my daughter's a tattoo artist. | ||
| Like, oh, Jesus. | ||
| You're picturing fucking biker bars and I'd be scared if you told me your daughter's a cheerleader. | ||
| I'd be like, oh, yeah, around football players? | ||
| Yeah, ridiculous. | ||
| But, you know, you say, oh, my daughter's Kat Von D. It's like, oh, she's a famous celebrity tattooist. | ||
| I've seen that show. | ||
| She's beautiful. | ||
| It's a different sort of, you know, it's like, if you try to tell your parents you want to be a comic, they look at you like, good fucking luck. | ||
| You need to get a job that's going to work. | ||
| What do you really Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Well, you know, you need to have a backup plan. | ||
| And, you know, I don't think anybody before you, that's the nuttiest thing about what you did is you became like, I mean, Ami, I guess, is famous too, but he's not famous in the same way. | ||
| You know, that show, was that the first show? | ||
| Miami Inc. | ||
| Was that the first of those Inc. | ||
|
unidentified
|
shows? | |
| He, for whatever reason, it just never, it wasn't the same thing. | ||
| It was a lack of sincerity, that's all. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| I mean, people, I mean, a guy with a shirt off, and I'm not saying that he's not, I don't know him anymore. | ||
| I haven't seen him in years since those times, and back then I was a drunken mess, but, you know, people can, I think your looks get you so far, you know, and after a while you have to actually care about what you're doing, and you know what I mean? | ||
| So... | ||
| I think at the time, it was probably hard. | ||
| I can only assume how difficult it would be for something so new, like a sensation of a new tattoo show and being the front man for that. | ||
| It must be sidetracking at times, maybe. | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| Right, and then you can make mistakes that if you could go back and do it again, knowing the reaction to all those different things, you'd probably do something a little different. | ||
| Yeah, maybe not be so mean to people. | ||
| Yeah, I know what you're talking about. | ||
| So it's that, you know... | ||
| Sometimes it's hard when there's no one fucked up before you. | ||
| No one fucked up before you that you could watch and learn from. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Look at all the assholes in the world and be like, I don't want to be like them. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| There's your example. | ||
| And that is the case. | ||
| We don't live in a vacuum. | ||
| We all need those assholes to show us what it feels like to watch someone be an asshole. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think. | ||
| Just as much as you need inspirational people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I guess we need them all. | ||
| We need everybody, right, Brian? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| What are you doing over there? | ||
| Drinking Coke, Sarah. | ||
| Got you off guard, you fucker. | ||
| I'm chugging. | ||
| Listen, Kat, this has been a lot of fun. | ||
| Yeah, thank you guys so much for having me, and I loved hanging out with you. | ||
| Anytime, anytime. | ||
| You know, you're very easy to talk to. | ||
| Oh, cool. | ||
| Really cool to talk to. | ||
| How long of a wait do you have on your... | ||
| Do you have, like, three years or something crazy like that? | ||
| Would you be willing to draw a Death Squad cat on Brian's back? | ||
| Draw or tattoo? | ||
| Tattoo, I'm sorry. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I mean. | ||
| I just need to get mine fixed. | ||
| Oh, yeah, that one that's fucked up. | ||
| Yeah, what could you do? | ||
| Pull that shit up. | ||
| What could you do to that? | ||
| What could you do to that? | ||
| Would he have to go and get that lasered? | ||
| The options are endless. | ||
| No, you can do something. | ||
| You got options. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, we'll talk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cool. | |
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You think you could do a cover-up on that? | ||
| That sucker? | ||
| Maybe, it depends. | ||
| All right, beautiful. | ||
| Look at that, Brian. | ||
| We've got something going on here for you. | ||
| Sweet. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| Listen, is there anything that people... | ||
| Is there anything you're selling? | ||
| I know you had a book out for a while. | ||
| You're still selling it. | ||
| Can people buy that? | ||
| I'm not a good commercial. | ||
| Do you have a website that people can go and stalk you from? | ||
| Her book is actually... | ||
| They'll figure it out. | ||
| Her book's online. | ||
| Here it is right here. | ||
| Oh, you guys are forcing stuff on there? | ||
| No, no one's forcing anything. | ||
| Honestly, I'm just happy to be here. | ||
| We're happy to have you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And hang out. | |
| I'm honored that you chose to come here and hang out with us. | ||
| Yeah, and sorry it took so long, too. | ||
| I wanted to come in sooner. | ||
| Oh, no, it's awesome. | ||
| Anytime you want to come back, too. | ||
| Please, come back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you, guys. | |
| It was really fun. | ||
| It was very fun talking to you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bye. | |
| And you can check her out on Twitter, TheCatVonD, you dirty fucks. | ||
| And also Eddie Bravo. | ||
| Check Eddie Bravo out on 10thPlanetJJ.com. | ||
| Go and learn how to choke people, bitch. | ||
| Learn how to get it together. | ||
| Put it together on the mat. | ||
| Go to deathsquad.tv, pick up some cat shirts. | ||
| Brian's got two available. | ||
| There's still some of the original available and the new ones. | ||
| Oh, they're not yet? | ||
| No. | ||
| I've got to get them out of the warehouse. | ||
| Okay, we'll get them out of the warehouse. | ||
| And thank you to Onnit.com. | ||
| That's O-N-N-I-T. Use the codename GotYourBack. | ||
| What's today's date? | ||
| The 10th. | ||
| The 10th. | ||
| For two more days, you get 18% off. | ||
| And after that, codename Rogan, you will save 10% off any and all orders of supplements. | ||
| All right, you fucks. | ||
| We'll see you guys tomorrow with my good pal Tommy Segura. | ||
| And then we will return again on Thursday with the great Mac Danzig. | ||
| So I'm looking forward to this very much. | ||
| And have yourself a great weekend. | ||
| My new studio is done. | ||
| I got the lease. | ||
| Brian and I are going to go check it out tomorrow when we start planning. | ||
| The clock guy is going to do some stuff for us. | ||
|
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Cool. | |
| He's going to build some shit. | ||
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Awesome. | |
| Yeah, that guy's awesome. | ||
| All right. | ||
| We love you guys. | ||
| Thank you. |
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