Aug. 16, 2012 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:59:58
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
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unidentified
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What? | |
| It's just a bad noise. | ||
| This is my granddad's flannel. | ||
| I want you to wear it. | ||
| Doctor, you're making me very, very uncomfortable. | ||
| The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by Onnit.com. | ||
| That's O-N-N-I-T. Makers of Alpha Brain. | ||
| Shroom Tech. | ||
| Shroom Tech's... | ||
| I gotta take my Alpha Brain. | ||
| I already took it once, but fuck it. | ||
| This is a late night podcast. | ||
| My man, Duncan Trussell. | ||
| Hello, friends. | ||
| We had to do another podcast today, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| We couldn't just leave well enough alone. | ||
| You want some of these, buddy? | ||
| I would love some. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| Can you snort these? | ||
| I guess you probably could. | ||
| Probably wouldn't be the right way to do it. | ||
| What are nootropics? | ||
| All the information is available on Onnit.com and that's what AlphaBrain is. | ||
| It's a nootropic. | ||
| Essentially it's a blend of nutrients that's been designed to enhance the way your brain functions. | ||
| Go to Onnit.com for all the details. | ||
| It's O-N-N-I-T, and they can explain to you what are the findings behind each ingredient that has been designed to give you a nice boost. | ||
| It's not like anything that's going to change you and make you a smart person, but it's going to make your brain function at a good level. | ||
| But we guarantee you, we'll raise your IQ by 20 points. | ||
| No, Duncan, you're just making that up! | ||
| You can't do that in the middle of a commercial on the internet. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You just fucked everything up, buddy. | ||
| I didn't finish the sentence. | ||
| You fucked up the whole world. | ||
| Yeah, you don't have to finish the sentence. | ||
| It's written somewhere. | ||
| I'll tell you, it's going to need some of these fucking alpha brands. | ||
|
unidentified
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Who? | |
| The people living in Dallas, Texas right now getting dusted with the poison they're spraying over to kill those mosquitoes at West Nile. | ||
| What? | ||
| They're publicly chemtrailing Dallas with some kind of insecticide because these mosquitoes there have West Nile virus. | ||
| Nine people have died so far. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's no fun. | ||
| And there's people who are just writing about it. | ||
| Someone just wrote... | ||
| Hey, let's get through with this and then we'll talk about that. | ||
| Let's get through this commercial real quick. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| Sorry, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| The alpha brain has got him speaking crazy. | ||
| He wants to get to the subject before the commercial's even over. | ||
| He's insane. | ||
| Gotta go. | ||
| Duncan Trussell's insane. | ||
| There's a lot to cover. | ||
| We have so much to cover. | ||
| New to Onnit.com, we have this hemp protein powder called Hemp Force, which is amazing. | ||
| Naturally sweetened with stevia. | ||
| Macca and raw cocoa are also in it. | ||
| Raw cocoa is a... | ||
| A great antioxidant. | ||
| It's really delicious too. | ||
| It's the best tasting protein I've ever had and the easiest to digest. | ||
| Because it's a hemp protein, it doesn't make you feel bloated at all. | ||
| Your body has like a really easy time digesting it. | ||
| So I like it if I have to work out in like an hour or something like that. | ||
| I can get away with it where I couldn't if like it's a whey protein. | ||
| I might get a little bit more farty up in this bitch. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| It's cheese. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's whey. | |
| It's whey is like a milk product. | ||
| When I drink muscle milk, forget it. | ||
| It's like living inside a coffin in my office. | ||
| Yeah, well, your body's not really supposed to be processing that kind of milk, because it's milk without all the digestive enzymes. | ||
| You're supposed to drink milk only from your mother, right? | ||
| That's it. | ||
| But if you're going to drink milk from an animal, cow's milk is the way to go, raw. | ||
| Make sure they have an organic diet of grass. | ||
| They just eat grass. | ||
| And then that milk is actually really nutritious for you. | ||
| And it has built in, like there's enzymes in it and all the stuff that gets killed when you pasteurize it. | ||
| And that stuff is what makes it easier for you to tolerate. | ||
| So people who are lactose intolerant, oftentimes if you get them to drink natural milk, they have no problem with it. | ||
| This is like, you know how you think of videos that you'd like to see, like if you had five videos that you could see from any point in time? | ||
| Like you could go anywhere in time and see YouTube clips? | ||
| I would give anything to see the first man to drink milk from a cow. | ||
| That first person who figured out that you could fucking do that like that. | ||
| We have so much to talk about, dude. | ||
| Let's get through these commercials because we're going to miss all the people that listen to us on Sirius. | ||
| They're not going to get that part. | ||
| Oops. | ||
| They've been complaining. | ||
| We have long-ass fucking commercials. | ||
| I'm not that good at this. | ||
| This part I'm not good at. | ||
| Onnit.com. | ||
| Go get yourself some kettlebells. | ||
| Become a fucking manly man. | ||
| Alright? | ||
| I'm talking clean presses, Turkish get-ups. | ||
| Get with it, son. | ||
| If you want to get physically fit. | ||
| Garrington flips. | ||
| If you want to fucking throw some strength into your body and put a little pep in your step, go get yourself some kettlebells. | ||
| Body weight squats, chin-ups, kettlebells. | ||
| You're done. | ||
| You don't need anything else. | ||
| Get three different weights. | ||
| Get a 35, a 50 when you're feeling cocky, and a 70 once you're cock-strong from doing it for a while. | ||
| And you're good. | ||
| You never have to buy any weights equipment ever. | ||
| Done. | ||
| For life. | ||
| Fuck a gym. | ||
| But, then how are you gonna get laid, Duncan? | ||
| Didn't the guy try to fuck you recently at the gym? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I tried to fuck a guy at the gym. | ||
| No, didn't the guy try to, like, walk you to your car? | ||
| Yeah, I was really uncomfortable. | ||
| Because the guy's like, hey, yeah, can I walk you to your car? | ||
| It was like the end of the workout. | ||
| No one's asked ever in my life to walk me to my car. | ||
| That's so crazy to be hunted. | ||
| But my mind tried to process it. | ||
| It was like, walk me to my car. | ||
| Oh, you're trying to fuck. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| You want a quick little sweaty fuck in your car right after the gym. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| That fucking ball bacteria. | ||
| That balmy ball bacteria. | ||
| Have you seen, did you see that Reddit, the guy who dipped his balls in a Petri dish? | ||
| No. | ||
| To see what shit grew on it, and it just flourished with bacteria, because there's just a sea of bacteria on every man's balls. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Anyway, go to onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, use the code name ROGAN, and save... | ||
| 10% off all supplements. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Alpha Brain, Shroom Tech, all that shit. | ||
| Codename Rogan. | ||
| Save yourself 10%. | ||
| And the kettlebells and the battle ropes, the 10% does not work on those. | ||
| Those are being sold literally as cheap as is humanly possible. | ||
| What's a battle rope? | ||
| They're fucking awesome heavy ropes. | ||
| Big, thick, like seaman's ropes. | ||
| You know, like one of those that you use to fucking nautical ropes and shit. | ||
| Giant, and there's handles on each one. | ||
| It's like, you know, capped at the ends. | ||
| And you grab a hold of them and you fucking whip them through the air. | ||
| And you do it like in sprints, like a 30-second sprint. | ||
| Oh my god, it's ruthless, dude. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's an incredible workout. | ||
| You guys are like bioengineering some army or something. | ||
| What's happening? | ||
| You're like selling smart pills and battle ropes. | ||
| Trying to get people smarter, stronger, more aware of what the fuck is going on. | ||
| Before you give the big order. | ||
| There'll be no order. | ||
| There's also no end to this commercial because I don't have a fucking musical player thing. | ||
| I don't have one, so let's fake it. | ||
|
unidentified
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The beginning. | |
| Battle ropes! | ||
| Now it starts. | ||
| Battle ropes. | ||
|
unidentified
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Duncan Trussell, what the fuck is going down? | |
| You know, I just speaking of... | ||
| What's going down? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| What's going... | ||
| I saw a... | ||
| Really, speaking of battle ropes, I saw this very disturbing video today. | ||
| Have you seen the thing of the old dudes with broadswords chopping the heads off pigs? | ||
| Whoa, no way. | ||
| It's fucking weird, dude. | ||
| Because they're like... | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| They're not like warriors. | ||
| They're just older guys at maybe a knife convention or something. | ||
| I'm not sure what it is. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| But they have a broadsword and they're just lopping off the heads of pigs. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Like hanging upside down, just lopping them off. | ||
| And the fucking swords, it really does... | ||
| Demonstrate how bloody battles used to be because they just it's like they just slide right through the neck of that fucking pig just slide through like a knife through butter and the sound is so gross this flick flick and these weird old dudes just swinging these swords it's fucking strange man Jesus Christ so glad that we got past that phase of human history thank God someone invented a gun Yeah. | ||
| Isn't that funny? | ||
| Hey, if I gotta choose, I'll take a gun, I think. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I'll take a gun. | ||
| I'm sure there's far less violence today than there ever was when they were swinging swords around. | ||
| I'm sure it's like no comparison. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| I mean, you could just think how easy it was if you were in a bad mood to kill somebody back then. | ||
| There's no DNA, there's no fingerprints. | ||
| If you're just wandering through a town, you just see a particularly plump young child drag that thing into the woods. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, please. | |
| Isn't it weird? | ||
| There's no Amber Alert! | ||
| That was not that long ago in human history. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Oh, no, man. | ||
| It's the weirdest thing of all humanity, is the humanity that preys upon its young. | ||
| It's like their youth was ruined, and so now they want to ruin youths. | ||
| It's almost always the same story. | ||
| It's a scary, frightening aspect of humanity. | ||
| You're talking about... | ||
| People that want to abduct kids. | ||
| Oh, yeah, demons. | ||
| Yeah, but it almost always comes from something being done horrible to them. | ||
| Well, yeah, man, that's the opposite of this thing called the disciplic succession, which is this idea that people get super, super smart from time to time by meditating or drugs or something happens to them. | ||
| and then those people like transmit that to their closest friends which gets transmitted down uh until it like ends up in the present moment it's called the disciplic succession um you know how like you get around it's like one thing to hear someone from someone happy right but when you get around someone who's really advanced and really happy you walk away with this kind of like extra thing it like gets something into you know it like they give you something from being around them. | ||
| So the idea is That certain times people have like a massive burst of that. | ||
| You know, like the monkey that came out of the tree or the monkey that first used a certain tool. | ||
| Certain people have that exact same kind of like blast. | ||
| And the people in the close proximity to them, they get it and it transforms them and then they give it to the next person and it goes through time. | ||
| The simple succession. | ||
| In the same way, there's an opposite of that. | ||
| There's like an anti-enlightenment, anti-happiness, just a foul poison that started way, way, way back when and gets transmitted from one person to the next to the next in this endless chain of shit that ends up with people doing monstrous things. | ||
| It's quite curious. | ||
| It's almost like a race between those two. | ||
| It's weird how pliable the human consciousness is. | ||
| It's weird how the human consciousness, depending upon how you're raised, can be thrust in so many different directions. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| We are so not an easy thing to develop. | ||
| We're super-duper complicated. | ||
| We have all sorts of crazy emotions, irrational ideas of the past, irrational views of our own memory, and we're all going through this whole weird thing together, trying to feel our way through it. | ||
| We're so irrational. | ||
| It's such a strange animal. | ||
| Well, it sucks, man. | ||
| I mean, we've got these sedimentary layers of times in history where you are just being ravaged by famine and disease. | ||
| It was rough, man. | ||
| i mean if you think about that like even now people aren't safe and you can call 911 and have cops come to your house within 30 minutes you know depending on where you're at sometimes faster if something catches on fire dial 911 little red trucks come and put it out they just trucks with water inside of them if there's no water around think about that but not very long ago man something catches on fire it's like that's just going down | ||
| You know, if somebody, if your friend hurts himself, you're not calling 911. You're going to wrap him in, like, dirty bandages and just hope for the best. | ||
| It's like, so that means that people, there's a lot of fear embedded into us genetically from those times, you know? | ||
| Angry little ape man living inside everybody. | ||
| You can see any time you get mad. | ||
| That's him howling out in the depths of your being. | ||
| The difference is some people still listen to that howling ape freak who's terrified and screaming out of the universe and believe that that's them. | ||
| And they become that crazy primal scared being and some people have started to realize or completely realize that that's just one old sort of almost outdated appendage, a psychic appendage stuck inside humans and you don't have to listen to the screaming fucking ape every time something bad happens. | ||
| You can operate from another place, you know? | ||
| Yeah, you can. | ||
| I mean, we're moving towards that. | ||
| As long as we can keep this whole society thing together, keep giving people food and purpose, we can slowly but surely make these leaps into the next stage of consciousness. | ||
| We've got to keep everybody fed. | ||
| Keep riots from breaking out. | ||
| It's really hard to keep riots from breaking out when you're blatantly lying to people. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| This fucking... | ||
| Julian Assange thing really gives me the spooks, man, because it's like... | ||
| Well, explain to the folks who don't know what the fuck's going on, what's happening. | ||
| So Julian Assange is this guy who created a website called WikiLeaks, and he was kind of the face behind this website that people send secrets, government secrets. | ||
| People sent him a shitload of files that showed a helicopter gunning down reporters, among other fucked up things. | ||
| And... | ||
| So he got in a lot of trouble with the military-industrial complex, essentially. | ||
| He just pissed off the military-industrial complex. | ||
| He ended up... | ||
| Because something happened in Sweden. | ||
| No one really knows exactly what it is. | ||
| But the UK is treating it... | ||
| Like, whatever he did in Sweden, like he just went around fisting nuns and setting fucking buildings on fire. | ||
| Like, they were doing everything to get him back to Sweden for what I think is a relatively small charge. | ||
| That's the party line. | ||
| I think it's called surprise sex. | ||
| Surprise sex. | ||
| A very odd thing, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And also, man, not to be a complete fucking conspiratorial weirdo, but a lot of people say that there's some basic things if you want to get somebody that you can do, and one of them is you set them up. | ||
| With some kind of sex crime. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You can entrap somebody. | ||
| I'm not saying he's... | ||
| I don't know what happened, honestly. | ||
| But, you know, in society now, if you were running an empire, and you had an enemy, And a really public enemy, it goes past the point where you can just assassinate them, like in the good old days. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like in the good old days, if someone had some information, you just fucking send in one of your assassins to come through their window and give them a quick snip on the throat, leave your fucking sigil, or whatever your sign was, because sometimes you want people to know that your enemies die, and that was it. | ||
| Now, assassination is a little more complex, you know? | ||
| You've got to, like, if someone gets in the public eye, they can't just suddenly hang themselves. | ||
| You know, if suddenly Hassan just dangling in the embassy there, if they came into a bathroom and Hassan just hanging by a fucking rope, wearing women's panties, right? | ||
| Wearing women's panties with maybe some fucking kiddie porn scattered around. | ||
| We don't know. | ||
| He just freaked out in there from the stress and he tried to do auto-erotic asphyxiation. | ||
| Cut to CNN. CNN. Barely a peep about the Libor scandal. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Pervert pedophile Assange found dangling in the embassy wearing women's underwear pink with Mickey Mouse pictures on him. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's like that's a way that they try to defame you and make you seem like you were not valid, that no one should have been listening to you in the first place. | ||
| That's one way to assassinate somebody. | ||
| And this Libor scandal, what exactly is behind that? | ||
| They were adjusting the fucking interest rates. | ||
| They were like fucking with interest rates not based on real reality but based on the urgings of the government from my complete low level understanding of this shit. | ||
| But basically it somehow is just one of the indications Of the things that we hear all the time from some really hardcore conspiracy theorists who are saying that the world economies are just being controlled by bankers who are shifting numbers to benefit themselves. | ||
| And this is like, of course, the military-industrial complex or war quite often is benefiting someone in a massive way. | ||
| So it's just part of that idea that the way things are happening on the planet right now aren't based on Some form of humanistic logic, but are based on the economic drives of a very small amount of people who make a shitload of money when bad shit goes down. | ||
| You know, like, whenever there's a fucking war, there are people who Make so much fucking money, man. | ||
| I mean, it's nice. | ||
| You know, like, the way I, if, like, I fucking was the book at, like, Get My Own TV Show, like, if I was able to sell a show, right, that would be a big deal for me. | ||
| That'd be awesome. | ||
| That'd be an incredible moment in my life. | ||
| In that same way that I'm excited about that, there's people who are like, oh, Come on, Iran. | ||
| Say one more anti-Semitic thing. | ||
| Come on, if we just get one more sign that you want to attack Israel, we can fucking get in there. | ||
| And if we get in there, they're going to need a lot of my new XP-49 double-edged fucking missiles, and I'm going to make a ton of money. | ||
| You know, and those people have lobbyists that talk to senators and congressmen, and their point is the reason isn't for... | ||
| The reason isn't because... | ||
| It's like, you know, I imagine it's like when you're fucking a whore. | ||
| You know, the reason she's fucking you is for money. | ||
| She's not fucking you because she likes you. | ||
| She's fucking you because she wants money from you. | ||
| In the same way these powerful conglomerates are making moves that are based on their own economic gain. | ||
| This isn't obvious. | ||
| I don't mean to be so fucking obvious. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| But, you know, the idea was that, I mean, That we were supposed to be shielded from that. | ||
| That was the idea. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That wasn't supposed to be possible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When that became possible and obvious and policy, that's when the real problems began. | ||
| As far as my own personal awareness, when I started seeing it, it became much more blatant, it seemed like, later on in life. | ||
| And this most recent Supreme Court ruling about it where they said that corporations can act as individuals. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Which is insanity. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You can just give as much money as they want to give. | ||
| Like, you guys can work out a deal. | ||
| I'm going to be president. | ||
| How much do you want to give to my campaign? | ||
| How about a million bucks? | ||
| How about I love you? | ||
| Alright, I love you too. | ||
| We're going to work together. | ||
| Alright, give me some money, bitch. | ||
| Yeah, it's quite sad. | ||
| It's a sad situation. | ||
| It's a strange situation. | ||
| And it's a situation that up until this point, I mean, it was pretty easy to hide this shit. | ||
| You could really control information. | ||
| People couldn't just look in their phone and fucking Google anything. | ||
| Yeah, it's almost like everybody's waking up going, wait, what? | ||
| You know what the effect reminds me of, Joe? | ||
| I just fucking bought a TV. I'm an American. | ||
| I haven't had a TV in so long. | ||
| I went to fucking Best Buy and bought a goddamn one of those nice fucking TVs. | ||
| How long did you try to be like Mr. Bohemian, I don't need a TV? It was, I don't know, since I've been in that fucking house. | ||
| I don't know, nine months, ten months? | ||
| Listen, dude, TV is awesome. | ||
| Anybody who tells you the TV's not awesome is an asshole. | ||
| No, TV's awesome. | ||
| Listen, I didn't have a TV out of some hate for TV. I didn't have a TV because I understand my compulsion to plug that Xbox in, pop in Skyrim, and just vanish from society for four years. | ||
| That's my problem. | ||
| But the thing about this new fucking TV is... | ||
| The picture's too good. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It's too clear. | ||
| It's like you watch the X-Men and it's like seeing people who just walked out of a fucking West Hollywood aerobics class. | ||
| They just look too real. | ||
| It looks silly. | ||
| It's too real. | ||
| Something about the picture's too good. | ||
| Yeah, there's a different quality to it where it makes old movies look like shit. | ||
| Yes, it's too good. | ||
| It looks silly. | ||
| You know what looked really bad, man? | ||
| I saw Aliens 2 the other day. | ||
| The movie still holds up. | ||
| It's still a great movie. | ||
| But there's some background scenes where they had a painted spaceship. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it was so bad. | ||
| Because it's so obvious with HD. Yeah. | ||
| So, in the same way, it's weird because it's like that technology is imitating, I think, what's happening to people's perception of things. | ||
| Somehow, when a president starts doing the presidential talk or when you see, like, what's happening in fucking the UK where they're saying with Assange, no, no, no, no. | ||
| Listen, we have a right. | ||
| We have to enforce the deportation of Assange to Sweden. | ||
| This has nothing to do with a thing where he leaked terabytes of information about the military industrial complex. | ||
| That's just a coincidence. | ||
| We've got to get him out to Sweden because he did a surprise rape. | ||
| Surprise sex. | ||
| Surprise sex. | ||
| I guess it's kind of the same thing. | ||
| Well, what happened was they had sex and then he was in bed with her and then he had no condom on. | ||
| Can I stop you for a second? | ||
| Supposedly. | ||
| I want to apologize to everyone that I just used the word rape. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| I am so sorry I said that word. | ||
| You should never use that word. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| I will never use it again. | ||
| That word's done. | ||
| I will never use that word. | ||
| I've taken that word and I have tied it to a fucking bed. | ||
| It's the new faggot. | ||
| Rape is the new faggot. | ||
| My neurological system cannot process that word. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sorry. | |
| I don't even hear that word. | ||
| I don't hear any bad words. | ||
| I've been taking a new fucking nootropic that makes it so that I can't hear offensive words and can enjoy a comedy show. | ||
| Because nothing ruins a comedy show more than when a comedian says something unethical or immoral. | ||
| Ooh, I hate it! | ||
| I'm just trying to have a good fucking time. | ||
| Yeah, I don't want to be lectured. | ||
| I don't want you throwing your lefty beliefs my way. | ||
| Oh, my lefty beliefs? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I'm saying to the comedian. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Or hypothetical comedian that we're just making up. | ||
| Yeah, I don't... | ||
| Yeah, comedian, person, blogger, swamp toad, hell being... | ||
| We gotta sew the mouths shut! | ||
| We gotta sew the sinners' mouths shut! | ||
| We can't let them speak. | ||
| We can't let them talk about the things that happen in the world we don't like. | ||
| What is so weird about people that they're so easy to program? | ||
| Like, they can be programmed so many different ways. | ||
| You gotta look at, like, people in North Korea, like, all crying for real in the street when their dictator died. | ||
| I mean, they were, like, for real, legit crying in the street. | ||
| And then look at people in America and see how much different we are than people in China, than people in India. | ||
| We're so adaptable and we're so fucking variable. | ||
| We're so different. | ||
| We're the strangest fucking animal ever. | ||
| We are a strange fucking creature, man. | ||
| We went from background to foreground. | ||
| It's like animals are so absorbed into nature. | ||
| When you watch a fucking squirrel running around and you see how in nature the thing is, just part of the earth, almost just the earth. | ||
| Humans are like a few steps past that. | ||
| So it's like we came out of a picture. | ||
| We like came from the background into the foreground. | ||
| This is the idea that they tried to metaphorically talk about in the story of the Garden of Eden, which is, you know, before they ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, they were unaware that they were naked. | ||
| It was like they're more animals. | ||
| And then this represents... | ||
| I think McKenna said, you know, this is the representation of the expansion of the neocortex. | ||
| This is the beginning of human brain development is suddenly becoming aware of ourselves, of our bodies, of the fact that we have a fucking body. | ||
| Because, you know, animals... | ||
| They don't think about their buttholes. | ||
| Dogs aren't thinking about what their balls look like when they're running. | ||
| They're not thinking about their fucking hair if it's messed up. | ||
| That doesn't cross their mind. | ||
| A dog's never worried about its hair being messed up. | ||
| But humans, we fixate on that shit. | ||
| We spend so much time thinking about how ashamed or ridiculously proud we are of our bodies. | ||
| It's fucking hilarious how much time. | ||
| If you really consider how much time you fixate on your body one way or the other, we're just into our bodies. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| So, yeah, man, that's one of the weird, bizarre aspects of being human. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You're aware. | ||
| You're aware of all the stuff you like. | ||
| You're aware of why you like. | ||
| It's a puzzle to you. | ||
| You see a woman with a thin waist and a big ass and big breasts and you don't even know why. | ||
| Triggers are going off. | ||
| Evolution is like, that's the shape you're looking for. | ||
| That's the shape you're looking for. | ||
| Calfs, like, calves from being accentuated by the high heels. | ||
| Yeah, why is that? | ||
| It's fucking weird. | ||
| How weird is it that every woman shaves her legs? | ||
| Like, you have to. | ||
| Like, that's not really what their legs look like. | ||
| Especially girls with dark hair. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Anything, like, really, uh, what would be the word? | ||
| Spicy, you know? | ||
| Any, like, Greeks or something along those lines. | ||
| Italians. | ||
| A lot of those girls, if they didn't shave their legs, oh my god. | ||
| Do you know what kind of craziness you'd be looking at? | ||
| Well, most of the longest you've ever let your whole pubic area grow before you trimmed it. | ||
| Me? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you ever trim it? | ||
| Yeah, I trim it, but there have been long, long periods where I'm sure the thing is just... | ||
| And if you look at it, it's just ridiculous. | ||
| It's like all over the place. | ||
| It's just chaos. | ||
| It's chaos. | ||
| It's chaos. | ||
| Yeah, and then you imagine that covering your entire body. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| And that's what we used to be. | ||
| Just like a one walking bush. | ||
| Well, a lot of people still are. | ||
| Did you ever see George the Animal Steel? | ||
| Is that what his name was? | ||
| He was a wrestler. | ||
| I think it was George the Animal Steel. | ||
| Something in the Animal Steel. | ||
| And he looked like a fucking gorilla. | ||
| He was the hairiest human being ever. | ||
| He was huge. | ||
| He had these big, giant fucking superhuman muscles and hair covering his whole body. | ||
| Robin Williams. | ||
| This guy was more freaky. | ||
| Robin Williams is pretty fucking hairy. | ||
| Yeah, but this guy's built like a gorilla, too. | ||
| Oh, I see. | ||
| I mean, it's like, it's real close. | ||
| I mean, he was in one of those movies. | ||
| What movie was he in? | ||
| I feel like he was in a movie. | ||
| I'm not remembering it, right? | ||
| Well, man, the thing is... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think he did. | |
| I think he had a career in horror movies or something. | ||
| We're very close to something that's no longer here anymore, but some people are still functioning at that level. | ||
| And some people know that some people are still functioning at that level and understand how their nervous system works and are really good at tricking people. | ||
| If you still identify with a howling, screaming animal inside of you, You're really easy to manipulate. | ||
| You know, it's not that hard to fucking trick a monkey into going for a banana. | ||
| It's like legendarily easy to get a monkey to go for a banana. | ||
| I want you to come over here and just look at what George Steele looks like. | ||
| So you see what kind of ridiculousness I'm talking about. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| It doesn't look real. | ||
| He's a huge dude covered in hair and he's like bent over looking at you like he's about to charge like a silverback. | ||
| He looks like a stop-motion character from Clash of the Titans or something. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| Doesn't seem real. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| Yeah, and he did some acting. | ||
| I think he was in like, yeah. | ||
| He was in Ed Wood, I believe. | ||
| With Johnny Depp. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What a fucking crazy looking dude. | ||
| But he used to like eat the corner. | ||
| Like they would have a turnbuckle. | ||
| He would grab it and bite it and start eating it and ripping it apart. | ||
| He was fucking crazy. | ||
| What a weird life that must have been, huh? | ||
| Being a professional wrestler. | ||
| Yeah, that's a really weird life. | ||
| That's one of the weirdest aspects of our culture ever. | ||
| Professional wrestling? | ||
| You mean like worldwide wrestling? | ||
| Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| World Wrestling Entertainment. | ||
| I haven't watched war wrestling since The Great Kabuki, man. | ||
| People still love it, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I know. | |
| It does really well. | ||
| It does really well. | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| What is it, man? | ||
| It's like a form of fucking dance, basically. | ||
| It's like choreographed fights that you know are fake, but it's... | ||
| Well, it's fucking hard to pull off, dude. | ||
| Those guys get beat up. | ||
| Those guys are always throwing each other down in their heads and shit. | ||
| But it's not real fighting. | ||
| It's like a form of gymnastics, tumbling. | ||
| Sort of. | ||
| It's a work, you know? | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| They do what we call hard work. | ||
| Where they really, they slap each other occasionally. | ||
| They'll fucking, they'll clothesline each other. | ||
| They really slam each other to the ground. | ||
| And you can really get fucked up doing it. | ||
| They all have like, you know, back problems and shoulder problems. | ||
| But the cool thing about it is not just the fact that they're fake fighting. | ||
| It's that there's a narrative. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| A weird rudimentary narrative that runs through the fucking thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Where everyone has rivalries. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And there's a... | ||
| There's always a villainous guy who has generally supernatural undertones. | ||
| Maybe he's come from hell or something, right? | ||
| There's always that thing. | ||
| The undertaker. | ||
| Yeah, that thing. | ||
| These mysterious men who've emerged from the darkest parts of the world to slap each other's backs really hard. | ||
| When I was in high school, it was Bob Backlund. | ||
| He was the champion. | ||
| And the big one that everybody wanted to see fight for the title was Jimmy the Superfly Snooker. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it was a big deal, man. | ||
| And he would put up his three fingers like this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he would go, I love you. | |
| That was what he was telling everybody when he had his fingers up. | ||
| I love you and he'd fly through the air. | ||
| He would fly through the air, dude, and land on guys. | ||
| And what a beating his body must have taken doing that, man. | ||
| He did some ridiculous shit. | ||
| I remember when I was a kid, getting into some fairly serious arguments with people over whether or not wrestling was real. | ||
| Because you would be like, no, no, no, this is fucking real, dude. | ||
| Do you think this is fake? | ||
| You fucking think the great kabuki, like a guy, could just blow steam out of his mouth and poison a man? | ||
| He's real. | ||
| You would get in these, like, deep... | ||
| Oh, yeah, before they had to admit it was fake for, like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But you see that's... | ||
| Tax purposes. | ||
| You see it's still happening. | ||
| See, this is the funny thing. | ||
| It's still fucking happening. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Only now when you tell somebody, you know, our Congress is bought by corporations and it's not really representing the people anymore and you know that's real. | ||
| It's pretty obvious by now. | ||
| You tell that to people and they'll be like, no, it's real. | ||
| It's real, it's real, it's the realest thing there is. | ||
| How could you say that's not real? | ||
| These men, these fine men, the high seats of power, they're not getting bribed by corporations. | ||
| No! | ||
| Never! | ||
| They have integrity! | ||
| Yet again and again, time and time again, we see that these people have been supported by lobbyists to the point where I saw someone, I think one of the presidents, or I don't remember which it was. | ||
| I don't remember who it was. | ||
| Maybe Boehner, the guy who looks like Howdy Doody. | ||
| I can't remember who it was, but put all their main corporate sponsors in a NASCAR outfit. | ||
| They said senators and congressmen should start having to wear I think Robin Williams had that in his special. | ||
| Oh, he did? | ||
| Is that what he said? | ||
| I saw a picture of it on the internet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Funny line. | |
| But it's the truth. | ||
| But there's still people who don't want to believe that's the truth. | ||
| And this is the fucking problem, man. | ||
| Because it's not just politics. | ||
| It's religion. | ||
| There's people... | ||
| Have you seen this fucking... | ||
| It keeps popping up on the internet, but it's like this idea that evolutionists had that the way some, or the creationists believe that the way some animals got from one continent to the next is from rafts of the forests uprooted by the great flood. | ||
| So like bears and rabbits and squirrels were just like floating across the ocean on logs. | ||
| People believe that stuff. | ||
| Creationists believe that, dude. | ||
| Imagine that. | ||
| Just logs covered in rabbits and puppies and eagles. | ||
| It's the craziest thing fucking ever, but people believe that right now. | ||
| Well, there have been guys who have invested money to try to design and recreate the Ark, how they think it could have worked. | ||
| There's been dudes who've done that. | ||
| Like, there's some rich dude. | ||
| I think he's in Holland. | ||
| And he's recreating an arc based on cubits and whatever fucking crazy measurement they used back then. | ||
| He's doing the Lord's work. | ||
| How many fucking lunatics right now? | ||
| How many crazy people right now in neighborhoods and trailer parks across America are in their backyard constructing an arc because they think God told them to build it? | ||
| I bet there's at least 400 people right now hammering in their backyard on a fucking ark because they had a weird dream where God told them to build an ark. | ||
| There's definitely more than one. | ||
| I've definitely heard of more than one person. | ||
| Talk about grandiose. | ||
| Imagine you thinking you're really Noah. | ||
| But that's like, you know, if you're cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, that's an entertaining one. | ||
| You think you're Noah. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| I mean, but dude, imagine if like your fucking brain... | ||
| God's speaking to me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait, what? | |
| Hold, what? | ||
| Joe! | ||
| It is I, the Lord! | ||
| I'm going to flood the planet because I'm pissed. | ||
| That's why I always thought it's hilarious when you see like a fake seance. | ||
| Or a seance that looks like obviously full of shit. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| I'm getting a signal. | ||
| He's saying there's a hole where his heart used to be. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| Does anyone know what that means? | ||
| Who's speaking to me? | ||
| I just fucking saw on Trinity Broadcasting Network, have you ever watched TBN? Yes. | ||
| So I just saw on Trinity Broadcasting Network, this fucking televangelist say, do you want that new house? | ||
| Do you want that new condo? | ||
| That $2,000 isn't gonna get you a condo or a new house. | ||
| Plant that seed money in my ministry and it will come back to you tenfold, a hundredfold. | ||
| So this guy is on TBN compelling people who've been saving up their money to buy a house to send that money to his fucking ministry. | ||
| He's tricking dumbasses into funneling money to him in the idea that they're going to send $2,000. | ||
| Because he says it, it's so terrible. | ||
| What he does, he's aiming at illegal immigrants. | ||
| One of the things he said is, you know, Juan whoever sent $2,000 to me, his green card had already been denied. | ||
| But he went to the mailbox, and he got a letter underneath his bills, and he opened that letter, and it said he had been accepted. | ||
| His green card had been accepted. | ||
| So you're, like, trying to hit these, like, the most desperate humans who are, like, a combination desperate and dumb, watching TV late at night, and they just have a little bit of money left, but maybe they're a little drunk. | ||
| They're like, yeah, this is it. | ||
| This is what I need to do. | ||
| This is what I fucking need to do. | ||
| I'm giving money to the ministry of Father... | ||
| Fuckface, and it's gonna come back. | ||
| It's crazy, man. | ||
| When did they start doing that, that seeding? | ||
| That's pretty recent. | ||
| It used to be just a donation thing, but then someone came up with a brilliant idea of saying that you're planting seeds, and that you get it back. | ||
| Well, see, the problem- It wasn't just a donation anymore. | ||
| It became like, you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, it wasn't like that for a while. | ||
| For a while, it was just donations. | ||
| But the problem is, man, with all this stuff, this is where religion gets confusing, is a lot of the metaphysical principles these people are throwing out there, they're real. | ||
| If you put good energy out into the world, it does come back to you. | ||
| It is true. | ||
| If you put good things out into the world, it's like throwing a fishing line out, and there's a really good chance you're going to reel back something awesome that you didn't expect to get. | ||
| But it's like, these sons of bitches, they're like... | ||
| Making it as though there's an actual spiritual economy in the universe, that there's some kind of quantifiable bank account balance, where if you send $2,000, you'll get $20,000 based on some specific crazy laws. | ||
| That's where it gets odd, and that's where it's kind of fucked up. | ||
| Because... | ||
| It is and it isn't because the wounded antelopes have always been jacked by the waterholes. | ||
| That's just the way it always been. | ||
| If you're so fucking dumb that you think that that guy's really going to be able to do that with your money, it's almost like you have to exist as an example of folly. | ||
| You have to exist as an example of Like, when anybody gets scammed by one of those Nigerians, one of them, I watched this one thing they were talking about, it was a dude who was really sad, man. | ||
| The guy just didn't have any companionship. | ||
| He didn't have a girlfriend, really wanted a girlfriend, and just spent all his retirement money sending it to this Nigerian scammer. | ||
| Went to Europe to meet this chick twice. | ||
| Twice. | ||
| Twice. | ||
| He kind of broke down during the show. | ||
| Oh, it's brutal. | ||
| Because his daughter or someone had to tell him that the woman wasn't real. | ||
| Someone close to him was trying to explain to him that the woman wasn't real. | ||
| But he just wanted to believe. | ||
| He went to Europe twice to meet her, dude. | ||
| Twice. | ||
| And she said she couldn't find him. | ||
| Oh my God, I'm getting called back by my family. | ||
| And this poor fucking guy bit it. | ||
| Bit it. | ||
| He never even spoke to her. | ||
| He just kept sending money. | ||
| See, it's really cool, man, because we keep going back to talking about believing in bullshit and the effect that it has on your life. | ||
| The immediate detrimental effect it has on your life to believe bullshit. | ||
| No matter what the fucking thing is, it always fucks up your life. | ||
| Whatever the fuck it is, if you believe in something that's crap, you end up making decisions based on crap. | ||
| And so you've just summoned more and more negativity into your life from believing in bullshit. | ||
| Now, where it gets fucking weird, man, and where there's a part of me that... | ||
| It's always combating what the apparent violent and brutal, merciless aspect of nature with my own instinct to want everybody to be okay. | ||
| And, like, those two things are really fucking confusing for me. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because you look out into the world, you know, and you see, on the Nature Channel, just, you know, watch a fucking... | ||
| Hyena taking a bath in the carcass of a fucking elephant. | ||
| Or watch fucking those tigers in the Russian circus who just attack those dudes. | ||
| Or look at the fucking, in China, the monstrous way that they slice the skin off of living dogs. | ||
| You can go on and on with examples of this kind of brutal slaughterhouses everywhere, you know? | ||
| The brutality of nature. | ||
| You know, and you can go into this Nietzschean mind state where you're like, you know, yes, that is as much a part of the universe as anything else. | ||
| And then there's another part of you that, if you start thinking that way, can become a bit nihilistic, where you start thinking like, oh, well, if there's wounded antelopes, then why help them? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| But let them suffer for their own good. | ||
| Let them come to understand life through their own transgressions so that they can grow on their own and become powerful by their own volition. | ||
| And that's fucking cool, man. | ||
| There's part of me that really loves that idea. | ||
| And then there's another part that's like, yeah, but what if, you know, There's an actual concerted effort at work right now. | ||
| A concerted effort by a combination of many different conglomerates who have recognized the psychological makeup of most human beings and have figured out very intelligent ways to intentionally manipulate those human beings to become consumeristic so that they can gain from these people's lack of education and understanding. | ||
| Very educated people are often consumeristic as well. | ||
| I think consumerism is a byproduct of work and doing a lot of work that you don't really want to do. | ||
| It makes you want to buy things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
People enjoy buying things when they work hard. | |
| But this is like from this, I think we've talked about this before, the Century of the Self, about what's called black psychology or using psychology to manipulate people into buying shit or giving the impression that they need something. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But it's an art form that they've almost got it down to a sign. | ||
| And it's a necessity. | ||
| If you're going to have a successful economy in a capitalist country, you've got to keep selling shit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You don't want to make something that's going to last forever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But how do we regulate it? | ||
| Do we? | ||
| Do we just let it happen so that you can have preachers? | ||
| That you can have those crazy guys on TV saying that if you send me money, I'll give you ten times? | ||
| Do we just let that happen? | ||
| If you were inclined to decide, if you had to cast your vote one way or another, how much do we limit? | ||
| I'm sorry, I just want to say, because if that guy's not legitimate, what if something comes along that is legitimate? | ||
| What if there's some sort of sustainable new environment that's being built and they want everybody to throw some money in and become a part of it, and they offer you a tangible deal and it's based on the same sort of spiritual concepts? | ||
| You're going to automatically connect it with those other assholes. | ||
| Well, no, I know this is the problem, man. | ||
| I mean, this is like... | ||
| So you can't stop it, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| It's like you couldn't stop it because you would limit stopping it for a real place. | ||
| Well, who's going to stop it, too? | ||
| Who's going to make the decisions? | ||
| Who's going to say, no, no, no, this is the right thing, and that's the wrong thing, and this is good, and that's bad? | ||
| It's like, it's almost only an egomaniac would ever even consider the notion of trying to take charge, you know? | ||
| So it is this... | ||
| You know, we end up in this curious predicament of trying to determine, okay, well then how much do we let happen? | ||
| For example, what's happening in Syria right now? | ||
| How much do we let happen? | ||
| How many more people get fucking bombed in this weird war between an oppressive regime and the people who are rising up? | ||
| And it is an oppressive regime. | ||
| The guy's been around too long. | ||
| The elections are fucked. | ||
| Syria's always been notoriously a kind of fucked up place. | ||
| It's like, now there's a civil war happening. | ||
| How much do we... | ||
| Who takes the side of Assad? | ||
| That's his name, right? | ||
| Assad. | ||
| Who takes his side? | ||
| Who's really going to stand up for that fucking guy? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And I'll tell you one person who has Russia. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So Russia's standing up for this guy. | ||
| Now we're in a weird situation. | ||
| I don't know how much they're supporting, but... | ||
| That's where things get fucked up because it's like, okay, I guess we just back off and let a bunch of people get slaughtered because that's the way of the world. | ||
| This is like, you know, the hardcore libertarians believe this. | ||
| I think Ron Paul's like, this isn't our business. | ||
| Well, his also, his contention is that we've created a lot of business that we shouldn't have created. | ||
| We've made things our business and things we've had blowback because of things that we've done that we shouldn't have been doing in the first place. | ||
| The idea of policing the world. | ||
| Yes, that's a problem, and we definitely put our fucking dicks in a great many hornets' nests. | ||
| But if you look at it from a perspective of just you, you're in your apartment, right? | ||
| You're in your apartment, and two doors away, someone starts screaming bloody murder. | ||
| He's fucking killing me! | ||
| He's killing me! | ||
| Call fucking 911! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm bleeding! | |
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| Are you going to fucking call 911? | ||
| Of course. | ||
| You're going to try to help, too, maybe. | ||
| You're maybe going to go over there and see if you can fucking help this person, right? | ||
| So now, all of a sudden, let's spread the radius out. | ||
| You know two buildings down that's happening to someone. | ||
| Now let's spread it out more. | ||
| You know, two miles away at a certain time, someone's going to get fucking hurt. | ||
| When do you stop helping? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And right now it appears that when you stop helping is when it's outside the fucking boundaries of your country. | ||
| At that point you're like, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| It is the way of the world that people are slaughtered by mortars and guns and executions and dragged into secret prisons. | ||
| It's the way of the world. | ||
| And then it's a really weird fucking situation because it's like, well, it's also the way of the world to get people out of fucking... | ||
| Secret prisons and to help people who are in trouble. | ||
| You know, it's the story of our fucking, you know, our history. | ||
| The goddamn, the French helped us. | ||
| You know, it's like, sometimes people need help. | ||
| When do you help? | ||
| It's a real fucking question. | ||
| It's one of the big questions facing us right now. | ||
| It's like, when do you do something? | ||
| In the UK, if they fucking storm into the Ecuadorian embassy, if they storm into that fucking thing, in breaking the sovereignty of ecuador which is essentially invading ecuador if you go into a fucking uh yeah so in that case obviously when they if they just fucking start throwing out the whole game yeah or it's got where they're like you know we're just gonna do what we want and as | ||
| long as it suits us we'll make it seem like there's laws in place here right but when it comes down to it we're gonna fucking do what we want Isn't that kind of crazy that you've got a whole building that's a different country, and that building has sovereignty, and this guy can go there and say, can I get asylum? | ||
| And they're like, yes, good, cool, I'm staying here. | ||
| And now he has to wait. | ||
| Hold up and wait. | ||
| Can you imagine the stress of being in asylum? | ||
| Can you imagine the stress of being Julian Assange? | ||
| It must be unbearable. | ||
| I mean, the guy... | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's crazy, but he has giant balls. | |
| Giant, giant, giant balls. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, dude. | |
| That guy's gonna be remembered as one of the great heroes, man. | ||
| That son of a bitch. | ||
| That poor fucking bastard. | ||
| Nobody... | ||
| That guy made a real goddamn sacrifice. | ||
| Because, like, I don't care how much money he was making from WikiLeaks. | ||
| I don't care if he was making a fuckload of money for WikiLeaks, man. | ||
| He knew when he leaked those documents. | ||
| Do you realize, like, when you get that much fucking information that shows that some fucked up shit is going on... | ||
| The moral responsibility, the ethical responsibility you have at that moment because you know that the moment you let this shit out, you're fucked. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Forget it. | ||
| Forget it. | ||
| Game over. | ||
| You've made the decision like, alright, I'm gonna fucking throw myself on the fire in this incarnation just because it feels better than sitting back and festering with the knowledge that there's fucking innocent people getting gunned down for no goddamn reason and that's being kept away from the people who are funding the fucking bullets blowing up their heads. | ||
| You're like, God damn it, I gotta fucking do it. | ||
| And you do it. | ||
| And you're a badass. | ||
| And then you end up fucking holed up in a goddamn embassy. | ||
| And you know that even if you do get out of that embassy, even if 50,000 Guy Fawkes mask wearing anonymous vigilantes descend on that embassy all wearing the same outfit, swarm the fucking embassy and give you the outfit to wear so that you just mix in with all of them and vanish into the fucking, | ||
| into the darkness and then end up in fucking Ecuador, you know at one point There's gonna be a moment when you wake up, and there's a guy sitting next to your bed, and he's like, hey man, I'm sorry, but I gotta fucking kill your ass. | ||
| Or maybe he doesn't say anything, or maybe they poison you, or maybe there's a fucking moment when you walk down the street and you feel a strange prick in the bottom of your leg, and the next thing you know, you get a weird sickness, a form of fucking swine flu, or some odd bacterial infection, and you just fucking die. | ||
| So tell me more about what's going on in Dallas. | ||
| It's a West Nile outbreak. | ||
| Apparently nine people died. | ||
| When did this happen? | ||
| I don't know when the outbreak happened, and I kind of keep my eyes peeled for any kind of end-of-the-world-style plague reports, but it seemed to pop out of nowhere. | ||
| Just eight people in Dallas came down with West Nile virus. | ||
| Really recently? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really recently. | ||
| I think they're dusting today. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Just spraying out that fucking poison, you know, because they don't want the West Nile virus to spread. | ||
| Yeah, Texas gets fucking funky hot, man. | ||
| And apparently, Aubrey said that they've had a record amount of days. | ||
| They're cruising in on the current record, which is like some crazy number, like 50-something days of over 100 degrees. | ||
| Hottest fucking summer in history, man. | ||
| Yeah, it's weird. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| We were talking about lakes drying up and rivers drying up and shit like that. | ||
| That's a disturbing thought, man, that the climate can shift really radically. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it always has. | ||
| Always has. | ||
| Always has. | ||
| Our idea is that we're going to be able to stay in this one spot that we so choose to set up shop in. | ||
| That might be silly. | ||
| That might be a silly thing to do. | ||
| Yeah, it's like, as a species, we do the same thing people do as an individual. | ||
| As a species, we make this silly... | ||
| We have this crazy idea that everything's going to stay the same. | ||
| The planet's going to always be hospitable to our form of life. | ||
| We just live with that in the same way that individuals go around like they're going to live fucking forever. | ||
| They go around treating people like shit, not returning phone calls. | ||
| They go around being complete cunts as though there's going to be something I love how you say, they're treating people like shit, fucking not returning phone calls. | ||
| You know how funny that is though? | ||
| I'm pissed at my brother. | ||
| He won't call me back. | ||
| Of all the horrible shit you could have said someone does, you're like, yeah, people are fucking dog shit, man. | ||
| I love, I have these, my brother is like, I love him very much. | ||
| He's like one of my best friends on the fucking planet, but he's found like somebody that he really loves and it's really... | ||
| Don't you want somebody to love? | ||
| Don't. | ||
| So he's like absorbed into this beautiful thing that I'm very happy for him for. | ||
| But it's like that classic thing when one of your best friends gets a girlfriend. | ||
| You're like, ah, fuck. | ||
| I understand. | ||
| I've done it. | ||
| God knows I've done it. | ||
| I've been the king of that shit, man. | ||
| It's horrible. | ||
| But the point is... | ||
| People treat their lives, and I try to do this less now, sometimes people get caught up in the minutiae and they end up discounting their existence as though there's going to be some point ten years from now. | ||
| A lot of people think, okay, I'm just going to fucking party through my 20s. | ||
| And then your 20s pass, and then the 30s say, ah, I got some juice in me still. | ||
| I'm gonna just fucking do it through my 30s! | ||
| And then your 30s pass, and now you're feeling a little tired and fucked up a little bit, and your 40s come in, and you're like, into the 40s, I'm gonna settle down, and I'm gonna really become a man. | ||
| And then you just keel over and die, and that's it. | ||
| You never fucking did, you never actualized yourself. | ||
| You never jumped into the fucking fray. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So in the same way as a species, it's like we're in that situation where we think, yeah, well, it'll be fine, man. | ||
| There's infinite fucking resources. | ||
|
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|
Woo! | |
| Come on! | ||
| And it's, you know, now we're kind of like in that part where you look and you flip the fucking... | ||
| Hotel mirror a little bit and take a look at that pink moon sprouting in the back of your fucking head. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| There's a patch of pink there. | ||
| In the same way, there's like nice, big, thick, black, oily patches of death sprouting up all over the planet from people logging and dumping chemicals in there and like, no, it'll come around. | ||
| That little fucking radioactive patch called Chernobyl, it'll come around. | ||
| It'll be fine in a couple of thousand years. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And not even... | ||
| No, Fukushima will be fine. | ||
| It'll be fine. | ||
| It'll be fine. | ||
| That won't affect the rest of the planet. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| So this is where we have this fucking problem, man. | ||
| Because we've got a group of people who believe that rabbits floated on rafts from one continent to the next. | ||
| We've got a group of people who really fucking believe in some very archaic, primitive bullshit, and we're really letting them We're really letting them run with it, man. | ||
| We're really letting them run with it. | ||
| Not only that, you're supposed to, if you're polite, to allow them whatever craziness they believe without ever arguing it or ever discussing it or ever disagreeing with it. | ||
| Yeah, and it's fine. | ||
| It's like, it's fine. | ||
| Okay, man, fucking believe that shit. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| I really don't care. | ||
| And if it makes you happy, I really do mean God bless you and I'm happy you're happy. | ||
| That's fucking awesome. | ||
| But if you're making political decisions based on these belief systems, well, we got a fucking problem, man. | ||
| We got a big fucking problem because you're making political decisions based on an imaginary voice in your fucking head that thinks that a floating man is going to come down from space. | ||
| And this is a problem. | ||
| This is a problem because the decisions need to be made on a more realistic level. | ||
| Human level, which is like, hey, there's a lot of people on this fucking planet. | ||
| We need to start working together and stop blowing each other up. | ||
| As crazy an idea as that may be, it's pretty much time to put down the Bible. | ||
| Let's put down the fucking Quran. | ||
| Let's put down the old crusty old fucking scrolls and just treat it like we're living in a neighborhood. | ||
| And let's see if we can fucking... | ||
| Let's see if we can just stop blowing each other up for a second, Iran. | ||
| You don't need nuclear missiles, Iran. | ||
| Let's not make nuclear missiles. | ||
| And Israel, let's not fucking attack Iran right now. | ||
| None of the people want to fight. | ||
| None of the people want war. | ||
| We don't want to die. | ||
| I don't want to die. | ||
| I don't want anybody to get fucking blown up. | ||
| None of us want that, man. | ||
| Maybe there's 3,000 of us who want that. | ||
| Maybe there's 3,000 people who really are into it and that's it. | ||
| And there's a lot more of us than there are of them. | ||
| So at some point, something has to happen where a shift takes place, where people start prioritizing what's actually happening over what people dressed in funny outfits are telling us an invisible man is saying we should do. | ||
| It's so obvious! | ||
| For example, if you're in the woods and you get to choose between two guides, There's a guy wearing camouflage. | ||
| He's like, got a fucking Rambo knife and some fucking awesome tattoos. | ||
| And then there's a guy who comes out dressed in a black fucking cloak holding a book. | ||
| And he's like, this is a magic book! | ||
| This is my magic forest book! | ||
| And this book will give you all the answers you need in this giant, massive, deadly, dangerous, snake-filled, bear-ridden forest. | ||
| Who are you going to pick? | ||
| The guy with the magic book? | ||
| Or the fucking, the, um, the guy? | ||
| Camel guy. | ||
| You got to go with the camel guy. | ||
| You go with the camo fucking guy. | ||
| You go with the fucking camo guy. | ||
| Maybe you take down the guy in the funny robe and steal his robe to make a hammock. | ||
| But you don't fucking, you don't fucking, uh, you don't follow the guy with the funny book. | ||
| Well, unless your brain doesn't work that good, man. | ||
| That's a problem. | ||
| I think that one of the things that religion can do for people that really helps is it gives you an operating system. | ||
| And I think intelligent people use it that way. | ||
| And I think some really dumb people use it that way. | ||
| And if they didn't have it, they wouldn't know what to do. | ||
| And they might actually be a problem. | ||
| I think it gives people an operating system. | ||
| And although I don't agree with it, I think it's like, I've described it as like religion being like scaffolding. | ||
| That it's like scaffolding for expanding consciousness. | ||
| It allows you to have like some real like solid shit that you don't have to think or worry about. | ||
| And then concentrate on being positive, helping your brother, being, you know, being a generous person. | ||
| It's a vehicle. | ||
| Yeah, a vehicle for... | ||
| And if, you know, you need stories or, you know, scripture or whatever it is that you need to get you into that frame of mind that puts you on that good scaffolding... | ||
| The shit's encoded, man. | ||
| It's a fractal. | ||
| There's deep information in all the scriptures. | ||
| I certainly... | ||
| But they're all so different and their rules are so different. | ||
| That's true, man. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Some of them are just not into being happy, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, what it is, is it seems to be a problem of literalism. | ||
| It's like people are reading things and taking them literally and not looking into the deeper levels of things. | ||
| This is happening in every single aspect of our society. | ||
| It seems that people are becoming more and more literal. | ||
| They, they, the, the, their understanding of symbolism, parody, that kind of stuff becomes, seems to be a little muddied right now. | ||
| For example, the most recent thing that happened is, as you know, I know you know, Daniel Tosh and the fucking rape fias. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I know this has been chewed gum on this show. | ||
| Yeah, this is the third podcast in a row. | ||
| All comedians should be talking about it! | ||
| These bastards want to steal our words! | ||
| When you deal with things on the surface level, And you don't look deeper. | ||
| Well, then you get into stupid wrestling, semantic wrestling matches with comedians over the most ridiculous ideas ever. | ||
| Instead of just like, yeah, he was like throwing something out there. | ||
| He's not a rapist. | ||
| He doesn't want to rape. | ||
| He threw something out there. | ||
| It's no problem. | ||
| You know, just a little, just three inches under the surface of that fucking thing. | ||
| And it's a yawn. | ||
| It's a yawn, mostly. | ||
| It's like, whatever. | ||
| But like, on the surface, it's fucking... | ||
| So in the same way, people take these very powerful scriptures, they interpret them on the surface level, and they start arguing about the fucking surface level. | ||
| So now, when people are talking about the fucking Garden of Eden, they're arguing over, like, who was the bad guy? | ||
| Was it Eve or was it Adam? | ||
| Well, it was Eve's fault, because she listened to that darn old snake first. | ||
| People really think that. | ||
| They're like, yeah, it's the woman's fault. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what she got cursed with a painful childbirth. | |
| And there's some of that in there, but it's like, come on, fuckheads. | ||
| Come on! | ||
| So then, when you get into the fucking Kabbalah, and you look at the Kabbalistic Tree of Life... | ||
| And you see something that's taking the fucking idea of the Tree of Life and the Garden of Eden and deepening it to like the really much deeper part of the fucking fractal where it's an expression of the expansion of nothingness into somethingness in the universe and it's a cool metaphysical grid that shows a thing Becoming aware of itself, or a thing waking up and then becoming aware of itself, creating a triangle which flips over because it reflects itself into the universe. | ||
| It's deep. | ||
| It's heavy shit. | ||
| It's fucking awesome. | ||
| This is Kabbalah? | ||
| That's the Kabbalistic tree of life in it. | ||
| And is this the stuff that you're not supposed to even read until you hit like 36 or some shit like that? | ||
| Yeah, that's what they say. | ||
| I mean, I don't know. | ||
| I don't go to the Kabbalah Center or anything. | ||
| I've just been reading Aleister Crowley. | ||
| And he's got like some... | ||
| Whoa, a snake sound to confirm your allegiance with Satan. | ||
| Duncan, you're a grown man. | ||
| You just hissed. | ||
| Oh, gee. | ||
| Let me tell you, man. | ||
| Shout at the devil! | ||
| I've hissed at the sun. | ||
| I found myself hissing from time to time. | ||
| Just for the fuck of it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hangover. | |
| Does it feel good? | ||
| Hangover, you guys. | ||
| Oh, hangover. | ||
| You feel like a vampire? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's what vampires look like, right? | ||
| They look like they're hungover. | ||
| Like when the sun comes out. | ||
| They do. | ||
| They look fucking... | ||
| What a weird idea is that sometimes you can have vampires that follow all the vampire rules until real recently. | ||
| People got so fucking arrogant. | ||
| They were like, well, no, no, no. | ||
| Now vampires are actually your friend and they only eat deer and they don't burn when it's sunny out. | ||
| They just glisten. | ||
| They don't want to be glistening. | ||
| They sparkle, Joe. | ||
| They don't glisten. | ||
| They sparkle, Joe. | ||
| Vampires all of a sudden became cool and you could fuck them. | ||
| Oh, yeah, dude. | ||
| Well, that's Anne Rice's fault, right? | ||
| Is it her fault? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| The fucking Interview with the Vampire. | ||
| Well, no, I don't think so, man. | ||
| Because even before Interview with the Vampire, Dracula was very sexual. | ||
| Dracula was hypnotic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was very sexual in a lot of the older movies. | ||
| You know, there was a few of them. | ||
| The Gary Oldman. | ||
| What came first, Gary Oldman or Anne Rice? | ||
| Probably Anne Rice, right? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| For the Gary Oldman Dracula? | ||
| I think Anne Rice. | ||
| I'm almost positive, actually. | ||
| Well, no, the fucking old Dracula, I think the Brom Stoker Dracula, didn't... | ||
| Oh, that was a long time ago. | ||
| He had some tramps in the castle, didn't he? | ||
| There was a room you went into and there were all these female vampires. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Fucking hot. | ||
| As I recall... | ||
| Yeah, and like, they were seductive, and they would like, you know, they would... | ||
| Powerful Dracula! | ||
| That's the good part of it. | ||
| Yeah, everyone's hating on Dracula. | ||
| He's got these hot bitches that want to suck blood. | ||
| They're ready to throw it out. | ||
| Ugh, that's so fucking hot. | ||
| He just gets to bone him. | ||
| He never boned him in front of anybody, though. | ||
| I guess once you start drinking people's blood, that's like way cooler than boning chicks. | ||
| You just completely give up on boning. | ||
| I mean, in the world of vampires, that is boning. | ||
| The best Dracula, though, of all time, unquestionably, was Gary Oldman. | ||
| Did you see that one? | ||
| I don't think... | ||
| Oh, my goodness. | ||
| It's so good that Keanu Reeves can't fuck it up. | ||
| I don't know, because I haven't seen it, but I'll tell you my favorite fucking vampire. | ||
| By the way, I do like Keanu Reeves. | ||
| It's just a cheap joke. | ||
| I like Keanu Reeves. | ||
| It's a cheap joke. | ||
| I miss the joke. | ||
| I love you, Keanu. | ||
| Oh God, I love you. | ||
| You didn't even pay attention to my joke. | ||
| You're just waiting to say what you gotta say. | ||
| No, I was listening, Joe. | ||
| I'll tell you why. | ||
| Dracula, whatever. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Here's where my mind started wandering. | ||
| You said the greatest vampire, and then I thought, no, no, no. | ||
| The greatest vampire of all time, the spookiest vampire of all time, is fucking Nosferatu. | ||
| Oh, the original. | ||
| Yeah, you're right. | ||
| Fuck that thing. | ||
| Well, also that was like really original. | ||
| I mean, and think about that guy did that. | ||
| It was like, wow, it's a silent movie. | ||
| No, man. | ||
| That thing was a scary son of a bitch. | ||
| That's what a vampire is like. | ||
| The long fingers kind of gobbling in. | ||
| Just a creepy thing pops out of the shadows. | ||
| Talk more, dude. | ||
| Keep talking. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Am I yapping too much? | ||
| No, I love it. | ||
| Oh, you do? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nosferatu. | |
| Yeah, man. | ||
| That guy's fucking scary. | ||
| But, you know, the Salem's Lot vampires are pretty fucking spooky, too. | ||
| 1922, brother. | ||
| 1922. And I'm looking at the images of it right now. | ||
| Oh my god, it's fucking incredible. | ||
| It was legitimately frightening. | ||
| Legitimately frightening. | ||
| And it was in the fucking early 1900s. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude... | |
| Incredible. | ||
| And they find fucking coffins still to... | ||
| You know, they found coffins out there where people have hammered stakes into the... | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Well, there's probably, I'm sure, people that were fucking assholes and they just wanted to make sure they really never came back. | ||
| But this motherfucker was creepy. | ||
| You're right, man. | ||
| You know, he might be the scariest one ever. | ||
| Yeah, that... | ||
| Especially when you consider it was 90 fucking years ago. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| That was fucking... | ||
| Well, I mean, that was based on the real thing. | ||
| Whatever was wandering around out in the fucking woods of Germany, that's what was out there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What a crazy people. | ||
| Remember, it was based on a real man. | ||
| Oh my god, look at this fucking photo of it, dude. | ||
| It's a really good goddamn image. | ||
| They're really fucking scary looking. | ||
| Yeah, that's a scary vampire. | ||
| 1922. Because if you go watch King Kong, King Kong's not really scary. | ||
| That's from the 30s. | ||
| Nope, not scary at all. | ||
| Not scary. | ||
|
unidentified
|
King Kong cannot fuck with Nosferatu. | |
| No, not, I mean, I guess if I had to pick who I wanted to run from, it's gonna be a fucking Nosferatu, though. | ||
| But how weird is it that they just hijacked the whole vampire thing? | ||
| Vampires used to be the worst shit that could ever happen to you. | ||
| And now he's a hunky guy. | ||
| Well, I'll tell you why they fucking did that shit, brother. | ||
| There's money in it. | ||
| Yeah, they gotta sell it to teenagers. | ||
| It's women, man. | ||
| A lot of women. | ||
| People that want romance. | ||
| The thing about the Twilight books, so I've been told by Mrs. Rogan, is that they're very romantic, unrealistically romantic. | ||
| Because he's a vampire and it's like he's got all the super power and everything like that. | ||
| It's like he like is giving it all up just to be with her. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And it's this weird sort of like he needs her so much and women love that shit. | ||
| It's just a natural sort of a thing for them. | ||
| So like when you see like women that would be waiting in line to go to those movies, it just hits a chord that we don't have. | ||
| We don't know that chord. | ||
| But the chick who wrote that shit knows that chord. | ||
| So she nailed it. | ||
| You're talking about the court of love. | ||
| I'm talking about the court of affection and admiration. | ||
| I think all women want to be worshipped. | ||
| They think that's the most romantic thing for a guy who would do anything for you. | ||
| So he would do anything for that girl in those books. | ||
| He would do anything for her. | ||
| I mean, he didn't even want to bite her. | ||
| He wanted to protect her from everybody. | ||
| He was in love with her. | ||
| Meanwhile, he was like a thousand years old and she's in high school. | ||
| Like, it's really fucking creepy if you stop and think about it. | ||
| He's a thousand years old or whatever the fuck he is. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| She's in high school, man. | ||
| You're fucking crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What kind of conversations are you having with her? | |
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| I mean it'd be hard enough if you were 30. If you were 30 and you're dating a girl in high school, you'd be like, I gotta kill myself. | ||
| I can't take it. | ||
| I can't talk to her. | ||
| She's fucking... | ||
| All she wants to talk about is Instagram. | ||
| He's just a thousand-year-old person. | ||
| He's a fucking creeper. | ||
| He's a total creeper. | ||
| She could be his great, great... | ||
| It's not like he just was frozen for all those years like Captain America. | ||
| No, this asshole's been alive the whole time and pretended he's in high school. | ||
| It might be one of the dumbest ideas ever. | ||
| It's not fair. | ||
| He's got magical powers. | ||
| He can fly. | ||
| He's flying a fucking high school kid through the trees. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Did they fuck? | ||
| Yes, eventually. | ||
| Spoiler. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Has it already happened? | ||
| It might have already happened. | ||
| I only saw like two of them. | ||
| I think there's been three of them. | ||
| You think he put it in her asshole? | ||
| I don't think vampires are allowed to do that. | ||
| I think it's a sin even for vampires. | ||
| I think even for vampires. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| Female vampires are going to cut the shit. | ||
| Just stop it. | ||
| They don't even shit anymore, so it probably dries up nice. | ||
| You don't shit when you're eating blood. | ||
| You probably barely... | ||
| You don't have to urinate. | ||
| You probably get the exact amount you need. | ||
| You don't know that. | ||
| I would imagine you would get the exact amount you need. | ||
| No, man. | ||
| A vampire's asshole is swollen and broken. | ||
| Could you imagine a scene where you walk down into a New York City subway and you saw some crazy looking vampire dude just shitting blood? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just blood squirting out of his ass. | |
| Chunky cottage cheese blood. | ||
| That's what a vampire looks like. | ||
| In a tunnel. | ||
| A subway tunnel. | ||
| Just shitting blood. | ||
| Looking at you and thinking about sucking your blood next. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| That's as far as they go. | ||
| Vampires suck your blood. | ||
| That's the worst thing they do. | ||
| But there's never been a supernatural creature that mouth fucks you. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I think we talked about that before. | ||
| Did we really? | ||
| As ridiculous as it is, I think we actually did talk about this before. | ||
| It must be on my fucking mind, man. | ||
| There's no spooky fucking bat or some creepy fucking... | ||
| That rapes people. | ||
| That was mouth-raping dudes. | ||
| I don't use that word, but a fucking horrifying, horrifying being. | ||
| It doesn't have to be a vampire. | ||
| It could just be some bug, some insect or something that came out of the earth, and that's how it does it. | ||
| It just fucking... | ||
| It lives off of the... | ||
| It lives off of, like... | ||
| People gagging. | ||
| It absorbs the energy of people gagging. | ||
| It gets powerful. | ||
| Yeah, the twitching of your body when you're trying to throw up. | ||
| Yeah, it's a gagpire. | ||
| Your pipe is clogged by a fat cock. | ||
| You can't even throw up. | ||
| You're trying to throw up and he's just holding the back of your head with a scaly paw. | ||
| Latches down. | ||
| That's what they came to do. | ||
| They just came to get head. | ||
| They have really tough dicks. | ||
| You really cannot even pierce the skin. | ||
| You can bite it as hard as you want. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| When aliens face fuck you, it just goes in, you accept it, and it just fucks your throat. | ||
| You try to throw up, but it can't get past the fat alien cock that's stretching your insides out. | ||
| Pumping oxygen in. | ||
| By the way, it's keeping you alive. | ||
| Keeping you alive while you suck its cock. | ||
| It changes your whole, it blows your lungs out and actually eats them and converts it to a type of glue that keeps the cock attached to your body to keep you alive because now you no longer have lungs. | ||
| Dude, that's the worst. | ||
| You get all your oxygen through his cock. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Could you imagine? | ||
| That would be the worst. | ||
| And some people would say, you know what? | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| I love aliens anyway. | ||
| They're still awesome. | ||
| They're teaching us! | ||
| Listen, for him, it might be really awesome. | ||
| Maybe he loves the fact that he's getting the oxygen to that cock. | ||
| You stay alive. | ||
| Your body withers away. | ||
| You can't really move your arms. | ||
| You're flailing. | ||
| You're like impaled. | ||
| You just look like a skeleton with a fucking dildo in its mouth. | ||
| And every year it just goes deeper in your body. | ||
| The dick keeps growing. | ||
| Eventually it turns into you. | ||
| You just turn into like a cactus dick thing. | ||
| You're like a shish kebab. | ||
| A dick kebab. | ||
| Every year the dick slowly grows inside your body and starts cracking open organs and pushing ribs to the side, popping them and snapping them as it eventually goes through your body. | ||
| But it does it so slowly that you never actually die, especially since the dick is providing with oxygen. | ||
| But then when it gets to the end, the dick pops out of your asshole and you deflate like a balloon. | ||
| And that sound is known as thumping. | ||
| Like, it's like the sound of a man's final thump. | ||
| There's no worse sound. | ||
| It's like an old... | ||
| I mean, that's not any weirder than a lot of shit that's real. | ||
| It's not any weirder than those aquatic worms that gestate inside of grasshoppers and get them to commit suicide so they can be born. | ||
| That's nuts enough. | ||
| No, man. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's not that fucking weird. | ||
| It's not weird at all, right? | ||
| But it's like we don't... | ||
| The closest to horror movies... | ||
| Of course it's weird. | ||
| It's the weirdest thing. | ||
| But it's not any more weird than like cordyceps mushrooms that grow inside ants' heads and then explode and spray the air and infect all these other ants to become zombie ants. | ||
| Turns them into fucking goddamn banelings. | ||
| God bless you, Starcraft 2. Artosis, I love you. | ||
| It turns them into bombs, right? | ||
| It turns them into fucking bombs. | ||
| It's like a fungal bomb. | ||
| It's a fungal bomb. | ||
| Yeah, it's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, dude, fucking... | ||
| The nature is insane, man. | ||
| Sometimes I think about that notion of the fungal consciousness infector, the thing that like... | ||
| I know this is chewed gum, because I know we've talked about it. | ||
| Toxoplasmosis, for example. | ||
| Yeah, I had to describe that today to Everlast. | ||
| I had to explain to him about cats. | ||
| cats but dude if you take this the next level you know this is where we get into the realm the metaphysical realm that um a lot of people believe that you know you can get fucking possessed by a spirit right and this is not just fucking christians this is like in almost every religion is this notion that a a thing can get into you and start fucking controlling you and it's like man | ||
| if it's if there's fuck you know maybe there's disembodied beings that really can like get inside You know, maybe just certain ideas. | ||
| Maybe, like, certain ideas. | ||
| I think, what's his name, Steiner? | ||
| Someone was just telling me he believed that ideas were alive, right? | ||
| What if there are certain ideas that someone could implant into your head that's the exact same thing as being possessed? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So you get this fucking idea and it just grows inside of you. | ||
| Much like our legendary dick alien, it grows inside of you and turns you into a fucking different person. | ||
| There are certain people that are so susceptible to ideas and words that they can get them in their head and obsess on them to the point of almost like madness. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I had a friend who had a nervous breakdown while he was hosting a show where there was a black gentleman who was the actor in the show, a very famous guy. | ||
| And as he's warming up the crowd, Brody Stevens style, he gets this thought in his head that he can't get out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And the thought is, don't say nigger. | |
| Don't say nigger, whatever you do, don't say it. | ||
| He would never say it. | ||
| He's not a racist by any stretch of the imagination. | ||
| It was just madness. | ||
| So he had a complete nervous breakdown while he was doing stand-up, while he was warming up on some Hollywood soundstage. | ||
| And he just had a nervous breakdown. | ||
| He just, he could not think of not saying that word. | ||
| So it would just completely fucking freaked him out to the point where he froze and he couldn't get any words out and people were concerned about him. | ||
| They were looking at him like, is he okay? | ||
| Like, he just stopped in mid-sentence and everyone's listening to him. | ||
| He's got a microphone. | ||
| He just locked the fuck up with, and I was like, wow. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I was like, what is that like? | ||
| possessed by an idea the idea possessed him and took over his body and there's other versions of this idea you know whatever the idea is that gets in someone's head and makes them think that a solution to a problem is to wrap explosives around their body and go wandering into a cafe that person's got a bad idea that's a bad idea inside their head that's a bad thing living inside their head yeah It's a bad idea. | ||
| And it's like, there's a lot of fucking people on the planet who've got some bad ideas in their fucking heads, man, you know? | ||
| But, you know, they're just, I suppose, whether they're living or not, it's just a device to, like, help understand the spread of the thing. | ||
| It spreads more like a virus, ideas. | ||
| Spread more like a virus than they do anything else, right? | ||
| They fucking take over a person. | ||
| They get into its subjective DNA. They... | ||
| Transform its thought patterns and then that being begins to infect those around it with the similar Ideas and and then that spreads the fucking thought disease out through through the world, you know, right and that that's like Going on right fucking now, right? | ||
| goddamn Chick-fil-a I'm gonna go around to chick-fil-a and eat some fucking Chicken sandwiches! | ||
| To show my love for Jesus. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| And that's a flower growing from the tree of an idea that's been planted in the minds of many people. | ||
| You know, the fundamentalists. | ||
| And it's like, fuck, man, what if it is a living thing? | ||
| What if they're actually possessed by a living force that is not that great? | ||
| It's just like that fungal thing sending the ants up the tree. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| That's an interesting way of looking at it, that these ideas are actually living things. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it might be... | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| I mean, it is very strange when you think about the direction that our society goes in. | ||
| And then it does seem to be led to and fro by, like, really insane shit upon occasion. | ||
| Insane shit. | ||
| Insane, sane, sane shit. | ||
| And you're like, wait a minute, what are you doing? | ||
| Because she did what? | ||
| She danced? | ||
| What? | ||
| This is your belief? | ||
| You know, you're gonna line a woman up in the middle of the street and throw rocks at her because someone caught her dating a member of the wrong Muslim tribe? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| It gets weird, man. | ||
| Really scary weird. | ||
| Well, it gets fucking weird because, I mean, goddamn, the first fucking, when the first monkey decided to come down out of the tree and wander out and start fucking hunting, you know, I don't know, but I'm pretty sure that the other fucking monkeys that decided to stay in the fucking tree, and in this situation, I'm not saying one group is a monkey and one group's not, I'm saying we're all fucking monkeys, but the ones that decided to stay up in the goddamn tree didn't have nuclear weapons, you know? | ||
| Did you hear about the nuclear sub that was sneaking around off the coast of Mexico? | ||
| Sure did. | ||
| It was right down near San Diego. | ||
| Russian, right? | ||
| Russian. | ||
| Having a little fun out there. | ||
| Russian nuclear sub got right up next to us, just to let you know, bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holla! | |
| Hey. | ||
| I could sneak up on you, armed with warheads. | ||
| Sure, easy. | ||
| It was a real, legitimate nuclear submarine. | ||
| Check it out. | ||
| What the fuck, man? | ||
| Whoops! | ||
| That wasn't a message. | ||
| Oh my dear, I guess I... And they were there for a while. | ||
| We didn't know they were there. | ||
| I guess my GPS was off. | ||
| I ended up off the coast of fucking San Diego. | ||
| Most apologies in America. | ||
| Most apologies. | ||
| Our OnStar malfunction. | ||
| Malfunction GPS. Yeah, how crazy is that? | ||
| There was a warship. | ||
| The other superpower that wants to get bigger and better is run by criminals. | ||
| Here's where we come to the fucking, you know... | ||
| The thing that McKenna kept talking about. | ||
| He's like, look, we don't have time to teach people to meditate anymore. | ||
| People are possessed by this fucking idea. | ||
| We can teach people to meditate, but first they need to get super high on a psychedelic. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| There needs to be this imperative to transform those fucking crazy thought structures that are floating around in people's heads because they've got fucking nuclear weapons. | ||
| Thanks, friend. | ||
| You can't just climb out of the goddamn tree now. | ||
| You know, if you climb out of the fucking tree, people are going to say you're a goddamn heretic. | ||
| You know, you're a goddamn anti-American heretic. | ||
| Listen to me, say there's no fucking Jesus Christ, and the goddamn rabbits got across the fucking ocean in some way that didn't involve floating on logs? | ||
| You're obsessed with this rabbit in the ocean thing. | ||
| Well, they didn't say rabbits, but I just pictured that. | ||
| They just said animals. | ||
| I don't know the spread of rabbits throughout the planet. | ||
| Floating around on logs. | ||
| Oh, yeah, but some of those fucking... | ||
| Well, you know what else is apparently everywhere on the planet? | ||
| Sasquatch? | ||
| Yeah, well. | ||
| Yeah, you fucking laugh, dude. | ||
| But I'm going squatching. | ||
| You're getting known as a Sasquatch believer. | ||
| I'm not squatching. | ||
| You know that's happening to you. | ||
| I'm down. | ||
| I'm steady squatching. | ||
| Look, man. | ||
| Have you ever watched the show? | ||
| Finding Bigfoot? | ||
| No, I just got a TV. I had Bobo from Finding Bigfoot on the podcast. | ||
| It was awesome. | ||
| He gave me a cast. | ||
| There's a cast over there. | ||
| I'll show it to you. | ||
| Foot. | ||
| Giant foot hat. | ||
| Does he believe it? | ||
| Oh, fuck yeah, he believes it. | ||
| He said he's seen it. | ||
| He said he's seen it, man. | ||
| You know what's really creepy though? | ||
| Really. | ||
| Northern California, that whole area, it's got like Ape Canyon, Ape River, Monkey Canyon. | ||
| It's like all these like weird fucking names that involve primates. | ||
| But it's not a place where there's any apes. | ||
| It's really strange. | ||
| There's a lot of sightings in one area. | ||
| A lot of sightings for the last couple hundred years and it's a really densely wooded area. | ||
| Doesn't mean that they're not bears and people aren't on mushrooms. | ||
| It's totally possible that it also could have been just an idea that one person had and they ran with it and it fucking carried on as almost a tradition. | ||
| Okay, not to take this idea too far, but fucking McKenna talked about the idea that the UFO is some kind of projection of the mystery, of novelty, of something within humans or something in fucking hyperspace. | ||
| I think that was Jung. | ||
| Yeah, Carl Jung. | ||
| Carl Jung. | ||
| Maybe McKenna was quoting Jung. | ||
| Yeah, it's aliens and UFOs and archetypes. | ||
| I forget the book, but he wrote a whole book on that concept that the UFO was almost like a ghost of our imagination. | ||
| That's probably a terrible way of describing it. | ||
| That's pretty cool. | ||
| It is a ghost of our imagination. | ||
| It's a kind of specter that rises up out of the deepest parts of ourself or our potential and manifests as like, this is what we could be. | ||
| Have you ever seen a real UFO footage? | ||
| A real photo that you were like, yes. | ||
| I have seen pictures, but every single picture is always fucked up. | ||
| They had a new Sasquatch picture, and all they got is his back. | ||
| Crystal clear, in focus, his back. | ||
| Yeah, one shot, man. | ||
| Ew, sons of bitches, alright? | ||
| But, it's not saying that this is not a real animal, and the reason why I say that is Jane Goodall. | ||
| Jane Goodall, she was 100% convinced, all the people she talked to that had the same story, and all the same sightings that there was an undiscovered primate in the Pacific Northwest. | ||
| I have no problem. | ||
| I mean, it's never, it's something, it's not anything that fucking would, I think it'd be really awesome if somebody finally, like, I caught one of those things, but it's not going to make me fucking any happier when I wake up in the morning. | ||
| Oh, it would make me happier. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I'm like a little kid. | ||
| I'd be so happy. | ||
| But I think, what the fuck do I know about primates? | ||
| A lot of what I know about primates came, they learned from Jane Goodall. | ||
| So for me to pretend that I know more about primates than Jane Goodall, it just seems ridiculous. | ||
| So if Jane Goodall says, I'm inclined, without doing too much research, I'm inclined to believe it. | ||
| Jane Goodall, she's a badass bitch. | ||
| She's a badass lady. | ||
| A lady, not a bitch. | ||
| Scholarly lady. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| May I ask you a question? | ||
| For sure. | ||
| And I don't mean to offend Jane Goodall. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| You think she ever humped one of those? | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Yeah, fucked the shit out of at least one, just to see what was up. | ||
| Maybe that's what kept her all those years. | ||
| I think a lot of those ladies, they wind up fucking chimps. | ||
| Chimps have big dicks. | ||
| You know who doesn't have big dicks? | ||
| Gorillas. | ||
| Gorillas. | ||
| Gorillas have little tiny dicks. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Nobody's trying to fuck their girls. | ||
| Look at the size of them. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Gorillas. | ||
| Silverbacks. | ||
| The smart ones. | ||
| You think about what they are. | ||
| They're these giant, enormous, but peaceful, vegetarian gorillas. | ||
| It's like nature just made them so big so you leave them the fuck alone. | ||
| And it works so good that they can have a harem. | ||
| So they have a harem and there's no need to grow a big dick. | ||
| It's not about the size of your dick. | ||
| You don't have to impress these chicks. | ||
| They're yours. | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
| Get that one. | ||
| So they have like these little tiny dicks. | ||
| They're like an inch long. | ||
| They're always falling out. | ||
| Gorillas are terrible at fucking. | ||
| Christopher Ryan, the author of Sex at Dawn, talks about this. | ||
| He was telling me about this. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| How gorillas have fucking tiny little dicks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because they have a hair... | ||
| Yeah, it's exactly... | ||
| There's no, like, competition to grow, like, big cocks. | ||
| That's why they also... | ||
| Chimps have huge balls, too. | ||
| Because all chimps are sluts. | ||
| Female chimps are just taking dick all over the place. | ||
| So the male chimps, their balls swell disproportionately with sperm, depending upon how much promiscuity is in their clan. | ||
| So if everybody's fucking everybody, their balls are giant. | ||
| And they're just ready to shoot loads on a drop of a hat. | ||
| You've got to be ready to fuck one of these crazy bitches whenever you can hold them down. | ||
| They're just banging each other left and right. | ||
| Especially like bonobos. | ||
| They're the craziest animal ever. | ||
| They have sex to get over arguments. | ||
| Men and men. | ||
| Women and women. | ||
| This is one of the premises in this book, which is that bonobos are closer to us than chimps, or equidistant genetically. | ||
| And they fuck missionary position. | ||
| They look in each other's eyes when they're humping. | ||
| I think there's some lesbian shit that happens out there. | ||
| They're just sexually promiscuous. | ||
| Yeah, it's a social... | ||
| It's a way to solidify social bonds through humping. | ||
| They do everything except the mother doesn't fuck the son. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's where they draw the line. | ||
| But other than that, that's how they resolve issues. | ||
| Father fucks daughter? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Father fucks daughter. | ||
| Brothers fucks sisters. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But the mom does not fuck the sons. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Yeah, it's strange. | ||
| Well, they got something, right? | ||
| That's step one, bitches. | ||
| Next try shoes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're never going to evolve because they have the fucking thumbs on their feet and they want to fly around the trees. | ||
| They're not going to lose that. | ||
| Why would you lose that? | ||
| That's the most awesome thing ever. | ||
| Flying around the trees is way better than any cool shit that we could do on the ground. | ||
| So for them to develop cars and all that other shit, you're going to have to spend a lot of time just walking around with shoes on. | ||
| Well, no, man, this is where we get into the idea. | ||
| First of all, man, I love the fucking idea of monkeys starting to wear shoes. | ||
| That would make me wake up happy in the morning. | ||
| Catcher's mitts. | ||
| They would start off with catcher's mitts. | ||
| Just how cute would that be? | ||
| Like, you see film of, like, monkeys, like, in the cute little sandals that they made out of bush baby skin. | ||
| Holy shit, do you think a mitt would work? | ||
| I wonder if it would work. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I wonder if they could wear a mitt, walk around with catcher's mitts on. | ||
| Sure, they could wear anything. | ||
| They could wear fucking t-shirts and helmets and goddamn boxing gloves. | ||
| It'd be the best. | ||
| What do you think we would do if we walked in on chimps in the jungle and they were making shoes? | ||
| They were tying their shoes on. | ||
| Not even weapons, just shoes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We'd weep. | |
| Would we shoot them? | ||
| No, we'd weep with joy because it would be the cutest thing anyone ever saw. | ||
| And also, you'd be on the front page of Reddit and like, Yes, you would be totally on the front page of Reddit. | ||
| Reddit would explode! | ||
| And also, it'd be a kind of really spooky thing, which is this idea that maybe evolution itself... | ||
| Is accelerating in all beings, not just in fucking technology, but it's like hitting everything. | ||
| It's starting to speed up everywhere, where those gorillas pop in those fucking poacher traps. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Maybe shit's happening everywhere, speeding up and speeding up, and things are suddenly going to just start talking, wearing fucking shoes, talking in cute English accents. | ||
| And for people who don't know, the gorillas have figured out a way to disarm traps. | ||
| They know, they figured out the mechanism behind the traps, so they trigger the traps. | ||
| Two, working together. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's really fascinating. | ||
| Really fascinating. | ||
| They figured out a way to communicate their idea, and they took out some traps. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, what would we do? | ||
| What would we do if they started evolving? | ||
| What would they do if they started developing weapons? | ||
| You know, if you came into the jungle and you found chimps and they were holding on the spears with flint tips, what the fuck do you do? | ||
| You know, what do you do? | ||
| That gets crazy. | ||
| And what if they're just using it to hunt? | ||
| They're just using it to hunt. | ||
| Then one day one kills a dog. | ||
| You know, steals a dog in Africa or somewhere. | ||
| And the next thing you know, it's on. | ||
| The war. | ||
| Could you imagine if they actually did evolve? | ||
| What if chimpanzees, this is a fucking stupid idea, strap in, but if you listen to McKenna's idea, McKenna's idea of the stoned ape theory was that there was a period of human history that scientists are a little bit confused about, and that period is over two million years, the human brain doubled. | ||
| And they don't know why. | ||
| They really don't know. | ||
| There's all sorts of thoughts, you know, like the throwing arm, like that we figured out how to throw shit and kill things that accelerated our use of tools and the brain just kept up with what we needed. | ||
| And then the craziest one is McKenna's idea. | ||
| McKenna's idea was that it was because of mushrooms. | ||
| is that we had started coming down off the trees because the climate was changing and that the rainforests were receding in the grasslands and that these animals flipped over these cow patties looking for worms and shit that they would eat and then they found the mushrooms on the top and they started eating the mushrooms and then they started experiencing enlightenment, they started having creative ideas, they started developing language. | ||
| Why hasn't someone just taken some chimps and given them some mushrooms? | ||
| Why don't they try that? | ||
| I mean, if you're willing to try lipstick on them, and let's see if this perfume is fucking toxic when turkey shoot it up your ass, they'll do all that to chimps. | ||
| They do testing on chimps from medicine, and they die. | ||
| They do horrible shit to them. | ||
| They cut their heads off and see if they can keep them alive, allegedly. | ||
| But why not give them mushrooms? | ||
| Could you imagine? | ||
| What if they could show? | ||
| We've been doing this for 45 years. | ||
| We go to some fucking bunker in Nevada. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Out in Groom Lake. | ||
| Like, these are the chimps that we have developed through our mushroom program. | ||
| And they look like cavemen. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Could you imagine? | ||
| We've had them for 36 years. | ||
| This is what they're starting to look like. | ||
| Man, if only we could have whatever that fucking beam that they had in Star Trek, the Genesis Ray or whatever, that makes shit evolve faster. | ||
| Because McKenna's idea of the proto-hominids chomping on those mushrooms was that it happened, of course, over a long, long time. | ||
| Two million years. | ||
| Two million years, because mushrooms at low doses, this is the other thing he mentioned in his theory, is mushrooms at low doses, man, they're great for fucking, dude. | ||
| They're great for having sex. | ||
| They're like, they really like, if you take the right dose, it's an aphrodisiac, man. | ||
| So his idea was, yeah, so it's like, It also improves visual acuity. | ||
| In the peripheral, so you can see a goddamn line sneaking up on your ass. | ||
| Not just in the peripheral, but they said that they've done tests on where they have two parallel lines, and one parallel line will move very slightly offline. | ||
| You can recognize it quicker on psilocybin than when you're straight. | ||
| Weird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I forget what the scientist was who did that. | ||
| I should know. | ||
| I should remember that. | ||
| But it was one of the things that Terrence had as a part of his theory. | ||
| But nobody ever took his theory seriously. | ||
| Everybody completely mocked it and made fun of it. | ||
| Because mushrooms are like an inherently silly thing. | ||
| If you say you've done them or you think they're important, you're immediately an idiot. | ||
| Silly sub and what? | ||
| You go to a Grateful Dead concert and dance on a tapestry, you goddamn hippie? | ||
| But what's amazing, it's like it can be responsible for one of the most powerful reconsiderations of your life ever, like a real true religious experience. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And we're all holding back on all this shit. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Because we're trapped in this wonky culture, we're all sort of at least partially got the brakes on when it comes to that stuff. | ||
| No, they got the brakes on us. | ||
| We don't have the brakes. | ||
| The brakes aren't on. | ||
| We got condition. | ||
| The Reagans put a lot of fucking money into that shit, man. | ||
| This wasn't like the administration, of course, not the family. | ||
| But this was like the, you know, this is the pharmacological inquisition, as they say. | ||
| And it all stems back to the distribution of LSD through the United States, starting with the CIA's experiments to see if they had a truth serum. | ||
| What psychedelics do to a society is they fucking melt down the boundaries. | ||
| And when boundaries melt down, it causes a shift. | ||
| And that shift does not work very well for the way we've run our society for a very long time. | ||
| And so they recognize that and they stop that shift. | ||
| But it's important to realize that these breaks are being put on by people Outside of us. | ||
| I mean, if you look at shamanic cultures in the Amazon, you know, this is an endogenous part of their daily life. | ||
| It's embedded into their culture. | ||
| It's as normal as having fucking telephones, you know? | ||
| It's a way to communicate with nature. | ||
| So this is like, you know, a very essential aspect of being a human being is taking a psychedelic. | ||
| And it has been for a very long time. | ||
| And, you know, whether or not McKenna's right about the neocortex expanding and when protohominids chomp mushrooms, one thing is for certain. | ||
| Once we found out about it, we indulged. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| I mean, that's for certain. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Once we found out about it, people have been using them forever. | ||
| Bingo. | ||
| Yes, yes, yes, exactly. | ||
| And we know from our own personal experience with them that the effect is not some kind of like ridiculous... | ||
| Frat party giggle fest. | ||
| It's like if you take the right dose and you do it with the right people and you do it with the right intention, then there will be a massive shift in your consciousness akin to a form of ego death, which allows you to heal and allows you to reacquaint yourself with kind of a living, connective energy that isn't all things. | ||
| And that's a very important experience to have. | ||
| But it's amazing how well the propaganda works considering how substantial the effect of the product is. | ||
| That it's suppressed this incredible, you know, I mean you would say that in an open market eventually the cream rides to the top. | ||
| But it doesn't get a chance. | ||
| Because it's cut off and because it's illegal and demonized, this incredible, I don't know whatever you would call it, experience. | ||
| Let's call it that. | ||
| This incredible experience is kept away from you. | ||
| It's kept away from you. | ||
| What is essentially a natural experience by eating some things that people have eaten since the beginning of time. | ||
| And it's kept from you. | ||
| And it's a shame. | ||
| It's a shame that you can live your whole life without understanding that there might be some other aspects to this life that we also need to take into our body in order for us to get a better grasp on things. | ||
| And they might have aided getting us to here. | ||
| And we might be in a very sick, sick time where we're not using these things. | ||
| And that's what's responsible for this whole chaotic community that we have. | ||
| This whole chaotic thing where we're polluting the skies and polluting the ocean. | ||
| And we will do anything for profit, including invade other countries. | ||
| We're doing all sorts of really insane, twisted things that are the types of things that would be happening if we were sick. | ||
| If there was something wrong with us. | ||
| If we weren't getting our medicine. | ||
| If we weren't getting what got us to the dance. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| If that's true, if that's true, if the human consciousness really did develop through psychedelics, it only makes sense that we fucking need that shit just like we need meat. | ||
| Yeah, it's almost like a vitamin, or it's like a psychic vitamin. | ||
| And in the same way that way back when, right after the agrarian revolution, when people were getting less nutritional value because of droughts, and they became emaciated and small, and you can look at skeletons of people back then, and they were much smaller, because they weren't getting the nutrition. | ||
| In the same way, we are emaciated, but in a psychic way. | ||
| So you end up with these people with these just... | ||
| Broken fucking psychic egos. | ||
| Pro wrestling fans. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fucking pro wrestling fans. | ||
| No, bro. | ||
| I fucking love pro wrestling and I love your show too. | ||
| I love you too. | ||
| I'm just kidding. | ||
| It's just a joke. | ||
| I got nothing against pro wrestling fans. | ||
| Man, I'll take 700 fucking stadiums of pro wrestling fans over one Phelps family. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Let's talk about those fucks, man. | ||
| Yeah, those crazy God hates fags guy. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| They're insane. | ||
| When you say Phelps though, you have to be careful because it's right after the Olympics. | ||
| People would say, what the fuck did Michael Phelps do? | ||
| That fucking pig Phelps! | ||
| Jesus Christ, that guy. | ||
| How dare he swim so fast? | ||
| He's not even like a human, man. | ||
| He breaks the laws. | ||
| Did you see the Onion headline that Michael Phelps returned to his aquarium in New York? | ||
| Like he lives in an aquarium in SeaWorld, I mean. | ||
| When he goes to the beach, he's like, there's no fucking way I'm getting in that water. | ||
| He's like, I've been in water so much, I am not fucking swimming. | ||
| He doesn't ever swim in the ocean. | ||
| He's like, I'm just sitting in the sand chilling. | ||
| I don't blame. | ||
| I mean, fuck, dude. | ||
| That guy's like, how many gold medals did that guy win? | ||
| More than anybody ever. | ||
| It's like in 20 or some shit. | ||
| Something nuts. | ||
| He moves so well. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| I mean, it's just like from an aesthetic point of view or even an artistic point of view. | ||
| You're looking at it and it looks like art. | ||
| It looks like a dance and there's so much flow to it as he's like fucking hurling through the water. | ||
| They move so fast that it's hard to believe. | ||
| But it is almost, I mean, if dance is impressive, isn't that impressive just as well? | ||
| I think it's an impressive physical feat. | ||
| Into a rhythm, the way they can swim to a rhythm, and then they go under, and then they under water for this long period before they bust open and start whipping it again. | ||
| What a crazy fucking sport, man. | ||
| Wild to watch. | ||
| Wild to watch people do some shit that you just cannot fucking do. | ||
| To know that that's like the capabilities of the human frame. | ||
| If it's that long and that strong and that young and that dedicated and it puts in this many hours every week, look what the fuck this thing can do. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty amazing. | ||
| It's pretty amazing all the stuff that can happen and physically, mentally, what you can learn, the things that you can figure out. | ||
| It's amazing the amount that you can... | ||
| Send your consciousness out into the universe and understand things. | ||
| It's a fucking incredible... | ||
| This spacesuit that we're in, it's got all these parts to it that we've forgotten how to use. | ||
| Almost like some survivor of a spaceship crash has amnesia and is in this super advanced spacesuit and only uses parts of it, little parts of it to amble around. | ||
| And it's like, no, man, there's crazy fucking... | ||
| this fucking thing but you know you need help there's certain fuels that you need to like make that connection and those fuels are fucking if you're an athlete you got to eat the right food you know you can't just chomp on goddamn fruit loops and cheetos and end up like being a professional uh olympic swimmer they've got they're feeding those people like crazy we don't even know probably glows smells like cum | ||
| this special nutritional like blast that they just spray into their mouths like foie gras geese there's fucking like God only knows what these fuckers have in their bodies. | ||
| And in the same way, for your intelligence, for your spiritual growth, you need to take into your fucking being certain things. | ||
| Great scriptures, incredible writing, and on occasion a nice fucking mushroom trip. | ||
| You know, but you gotta be careful. | ||
| I feel guilty saying this stuff because some people, you're not supposed to take it. | ||
| You shouldn't take it. | ||
| You're in a bad part in your life right now. | ||
| Your fucking balls smell like the bottom of a goddamn... | ||
| Fucking the bottom of a donkey's ass. | ||
| You know, you gotta clean your balls and clean yourself and your life up before you take the experience, you know? | ||
| Some people shouldn't do it, but some people definitely should. | ||
| You definitely should. | ||
| It's very important. | ||
| Goddamn, just went on a hippie rant. | ||
| Forgive me, my friends. | ||
| Steve Jobs, though, I mean, come on. | ||
| He said that fucking LSD was like one of the biggest, one big part of his understanding of the universe. | ||
| Yeah, I think if we had a world filled with people who've all had breakthrough psychedelic experiences and they were running this country, it would be a lot easier. | ||
| As long as they got enough pussy to keep them satisfied. | ||
| If we just had robot concubines or whatever people would think would be morally acceptable, keep them sexually satisfied so they don't go tweaking and they don't do stupid shit and undermine our world just based on their need for pussy. | ||
| Dude, by the way, you don't need robot concubines. | ||
| You send out into the world, hey, it could be a form of the military. | ||
| Suck his cock and save the troops. | ||
| Satisfy the geniuses sexually like some branch. | ||
| What if that was our fucking military? | ||
| Like, troops trained just to suck off geniuses to make them fucking happy. | ||
| What if that was how we went to wars? | ||
| We just sent troops of fucking... | ||
| Blowjob masters into the homes of geniuses, into complexes, just sucking them off so they're happy. | ||
| Yeah, that's what they would take. | ||
| They should take all super geniuses. | ||
| Just bring it to some place. | ||
| Fuck getting pussy. | ||
| Fuck having this ruin your life. | ||
| We're just going to bring you constant bitches. | ||
| We're going to pay you well. | ||
| We just want you to be really creative. | ||
| Time machines, whatever. | ||
| And if you get crazy and you want a family and you want to start to have children, we can arrange that as well. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Matter assimilators. | ||
| They do, but then they want all the money. | ||
| They want to take it. | ||
| They want to take all the money like a bad record deal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Anybody who's, you know, you're creating things for companies. | ||
| Well, but here's the thing, man. | ||
| One thing you never hear when a kid's like, I want to be an inventor, is another kid being like, you're going to get a lot of pussy. | ||
| You never fucking hear that. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| If that happened, we'd probably be floating right now. | ||
| We'd be floating on a magnetic field, sending our fucking thought patterns out into the world instead of talking to microphones. | ||
| There was this guy that I remember who was like this famous hacker who had like a cartoon that he did online. | ||
| I don't remember what his name was, but he was a big portly guy and he's like from Germany or some shit like that. | ||
| And Kimber, that's what his name was. | ||
| I think it was Kimber. | ||
| And he had cartoons of himself. | ||
| We would go out and kill evil dictators. | ||
| And he would take pictures of himself. | ||
| The dude made fuckloads of money. | ||
| He was like a hacker. | ||
| And then he went from being a hacker to being an internet security expert that would help corporations. | ||
| And he's always driving around this crazy yacht. | ||
| Always got this crazy hooked up Mercedes. | ||
| Here we are in my private jet. | ||
| Here we are in Japan. | ||
| We just landed in Brazil. | ||
| The dude was like an international style baller. | ||
| And he just would put these pictures and videos of him just balling all over the world. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure that fucking, like, all of those guys are definitely getting, like, some crazy experiences, you know? | ||
| They just probably have, like, refined desires, you know? | ||
| They have different ideas of what they want. | ||
| You know, I'm sure that... | ||
| Who knows what they fucking do? | ||
| Wozniak? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Is Wozniak married? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think he is. | ||
| He's a super genius. | ||
| We don't know what he does. | ||
| No one knows what he does. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| I'm pretty sure that guy could walk through walls, man. | ||
| He's, like, really fascinating and smart and kind of like... | ||
| He was only involved with Apple for a while, right? | ||
| And then he left? | ||
| Yeah, but now he's like, he's this fucking crazy son of a bitch, man. | ||
| Really? | ||
| He's like a loon. | ||
| Yeah, he's like a real like anti-authority kind of person who likes to break rules and he's got fucking like a wallet full of like professional fake IDs with like Really? | ||
| Holographically printed. | ||
| It's like it's on YouTube. | ||
| There's a video of him showing his fucking awesome fake IDs. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He loves to use technology to break little rules and laws and stuff. | ||
| It's kind of cool. | ||
| It's really cool, in fact. | ||
| You know, but you don't want a lot of those guys, right? | ||
| You don't want to fucking, you need to see one or two of those guys, have some fun, but you don't want 50,000 of those guys. | ||
| What happens if we got 50,000 Steve Jobs, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because it's like right now the thing that is driving so many of us, not me, I'm driven by my love of humanity and I want the world to be a better place. | ||
| But I've heard that many men are driven by the desire to fuck. | ||
| And a lot of... | ||
| I know this is probably shocking to you. | ||
| Where are you getting this? | ||
| I read it. | ||
| I read it on the back of a cereal box. | ||
| But I'm not... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Could you imagine? | |
| Caution, girls. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Men are driven by a secret desire to fuck. | |
| Why do they wear those crazy ties? | ||
| To let you know. | ||
| Yeah, man, but... | ||
| There'll be no shenanigans here. | ||
| Why, I am a gentleman with a tie on. | ||
| But a lot of fucking professions, it's very strange. | ||
| Some professions are fuck professions. | ||
| Some professions are not. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, fucking firemen, a fire... | ||
| Rockstar is a fuck profession. | ||
| That's 100%. | ||
| Rockstar is a fuck profession. | ||
| Mick Jagger, David Lee Roth, what do you think of them? | ||
| You think of them just getting mad pussy all over the planet? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, they've gotten so much pussy that they've like withered into jerky strips when you see them now. | ||
| Well, they're also, you know, long in the tooth, man. | ||
| It's just life. | ||
| Along in the tooth. | ||
| But no, no, no. | ||
| That's not a normal senior citizen. | ||
| These people are like somebody made a stick figure out of beef jerky. | ||
| They're fucking... | ||
|
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|
They're goddamn crazy looking from all the fucking and they're still fucking. | |
| They're like... | ||
| They're still fucking to this day. | ||
| Viagra's like runs in their veins. | ||
| The spice. | ||
| They're fucking all the time, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Still. | |
| That's a different old man. | ||
| What do you think like Mick Jagger on a regular week? | ||
| How much young pussy does he get? | ||
| I think he's got a fucking rotation of probably 25 young girls. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| 25 coming in and out. | ||
| And women would be like, why would you want that? | ||
| Let's pretend that we have a girl on the podcast with us that is probably maybe secretly attracted to you but really upset that you're talking about this so openly. | ||
| Why would you want that? | ||
| Why would you want 20 different girls? | ||
| Why would you want that? | ||
| You're attracted to me? | ||
| Why would you want that? | ||
| Well, look, I guess I don't because I want to fuck you. | ||
| I don't want that stuff. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I don't know why we want that, why girls might not understand that that's something guys want. | ||
| But here's the thing, though, man. | ||
| This is why I love this book, Sex at Dawn. | ||
| Who were we just saying would have 20 girls? | ||
| I believe it was Mick Jagger. | ||
| Right, Mick Jagger. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| So the idea is like, this is one of the premises of this book is it's not a fucking genetic quality of being a woman that you don't want to fuck all the time. | ||
| That it's more of a culturally conditioned thing that's happened from your upbringing because we're in a very sexually repressed society and ladies like to fuck. | ||
| What does that have to do with the sexually suppressed part? | ||
| They want to fuck more because we're sexually suppressed? | ||
| They want to fuck more than they let on. | ||
| More than they let on. | ||
| Yeah, because when you're a guy, what's the number one first thing you gotta fucking do once you grow pubic hair? | ||
| What's the number one first thing? | ||
| You gotta get fucking laid, man. | ||
| You don't want to be a virgin. | ||
| Oh, I'm 23 and I'm a virgin still. | ||
| It's like a mark of shame. | ||
| Meanwhile, a hot girl is like, yeah, you know, I'm still a virgin. | ||
| I'm saving myself from men. | ||
| What? | ||
| Plus, you know that if she's 23 and she's a virgin, she's probably really good at head. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| No shit, man. | ||
| She's figured out a way to get guys off of her mouth. | ||
| Yes, that's for sure. | ||
| Or maybe her asshole. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| Oh! | ||
| This guy over here! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Duncan! | |
| Where's the puppet, Duncan? | ||
| Nice! | ||
| I love you! | ||
| He won't bring the puppet! | ||
| I might wanna see the fucking seance! | ||
| Dude, let me tell you, high point of my fucking comedy career is getting a goddamn message from people saying, Andrew Dice Clay says that he likes part of my fucking act. | ||
| Dude, that's intense for me. | ||
| It's hot as fuck in here, isn't it? | ||
| It's fucking hot. | ||
| Hey, I'm going to turn the air conditioning on, so why don't you just talk to the people about your life for a couple seconds. | ||
| Sit here by myself and ramble. | ||
| One second, one second. | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don't be scared. | |
| Well, friends, I'm going to do a mini rant here. | ||
| You're going to just leave me here? | ||
| Is this some kind of fucking prank? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Three seconds. | |
| There's no need for you to feel alone in the world, my friends. | ||
| Open your heart up to the eternal spirit of life and you will find that you will draw into your orbit many beautiful things, including delightful wet pussies that comes Happy moments, happier moments. | ||
| You just have to stop hating. | ||
| Let go of the pain. | ||
| Let go of your anger. | ||
| Open your third eye and allow yourself to embrace the idea that God is love. | ||
| Visit www.duncantrussell.com www.duncantrussell.com and join my Minecraft server. | ||
| We have a Minecraft server. | ||
| I play Minecraft. | ||
| It's one of the loneliest, creepiest... | ||
| What the fuck are you doing? | ||
| Are you transmitting? | ||
| No, I'm telling the internet to go to my Minecraft server. | ||
| That's what I'm spending my time doing. | ||
| Have you ever played Minecraft? | ||
| I just rambled for a long time. | ||
| Sorry about that, you guys. | ||
| I was disjointed rambling. | ||
| How dare you, Duncan? | ||
| How dare you do what we've been doing for two hours, right? | ||
| How dare you continue on your own? | ||
| When you're alone in the room, everything changes. | ||
| One thing that you and I have both been battering around is this idea of the simulation theory idea. | ||
| We keep bringing it up, man. | ||
| It's a point where it's like, I wonder if... | ||
| You know, if you really want to get hardcore crazy with the idea of manifesting reality with your ideas, you know? | ||
| I wonder if you can manifest that the whole thing really is some sort of a simulation. | ||
| I wonder if you can manifest that. | ||
| I wonder if it literally can morph that far around. | ||
| Dude, that sounds so hippy and stupid. | ||
| It sounds so stoner stupid. | ||
| It sounds so, dude, I just smoked a joint, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is the first time I thought about that, man. | |
| It doesn't stop it from being possible. | ||
| Well, man, I mean, when you, like, there's a lot of fucking crazy shit when you start playing around with simulation theory, and I'm so glad you brought it up, because we get this archetype in many of the world religions that involves the man-god, the god being eaten by man, | ||
| the god that gets sacrificed for the sake of humans, the god that merges in with human beings, the fucking shit movie Prometheus tried to address this in a really crap way, but, like, The notion of the creators or whatever, but what's really fascinating about the idea of being in a simulation, | ||
| like if we are in a simulation now, is that we are immortal in the sense that we are computer code that's being run through some form of operating system, and because we're just computer code, we can be, there's actually this guy from the Singularity Institute, I can't remember his name, no. | ||
| I think he's from Oxford. | ||
| It's on YouTube. | ||
| And he's talking about this idea of vivisecting the human brain, scanning the neural system, plopping that shit into a computer. | ||
| After you scan the synapses and the exact structure as close as you can, as accurately as you can, you run this through a simulator, and now you have a being with consciousness living inside a computer. | ||
| Not only do you have a being with consciousness living inside of a computer, what he said was so awesome is it could then theoretically be rewound. | ||
| Time could be sped up. | ||
| It could be pulsed. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So you could control the reality of this being in some really bizarre ways. | ||
| So where it gets really fascinating is the person who this neurological scan was based, the living being, the meat body, whose brain was put on some kind of futuristic combination deli slicer slash neurology scanner, that fucking being... | ||
| Died. | ||
| Had to die. | ||
| So that the being inside the simulator could live. | ||
| And so then you get into this... | ||
| Well, is it the only way to make this thing? | ||
| Is it slice it up? | ||
| In your crazy world? | ||
| I'll tell you this. | ||
| The only way to make a computer right now is by fucking putting the pieces of the computer together. | ||
| It's not through slicing it up. | ||
| The point is, if this is a simulation... | ||
| is that it was created by a living being right you know and that living being theoretically is mortal you know and so that mortal being has died that mortal being may have died aeons ago depending on who knows because time is a is based on the uh simulation you know what What a nutty idea that literally the universe began right as you were born. | ||
| There was nothing before that. | ||
| Nothing existed before that. | ||
| It was born. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right when you were born, and everything that you think of is complete, utter horseshit. | ||
| Everything you think of is just a simulation. | ||
| The universe being born when you were born, it's just because that's when they plugged you in. | ||
| That's the moment they plugged you into the simulation. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, see, man, what fucking... | |
| Yeah, it's a mind melter. | ||
| And here's where it gets even more mind fucking melty because everybody's talking about this idea of the singularity of the moment that our computers wake up. | ||
| Our machines wake up and become aware that they exist as a thing. | ||
| But where it gets really trippy is the idea that we're inside the simulation and we're the machine waking up. | ||
| We literally are the thing waking up to an awareness of itself and gaining consciousness of itself in a true way. | ||
| That's what humans are. | ||
| I almost want to rewrite the Garden of Eden story, replacing the word God with programmer, because it gets so fucking cool when the programmer made man in his own image. | ||
| What's really getting really crazy is when you get to these scientists who are saying that they found computer code concealed in superstring equations. | ||
| Not just fucking ones and zeros, but what this guy calls dual error correction code, which is some form of weird fucking shit that's already in our web browsers and based on the technology or the invention of a programmer in the 1940s. | ||
| I mean, this is some lost shit here. | ||
| This is some lost shit, but it's been dismissed, man. | ||
| I mean, I've been raving about it on my podcast, and some people, like, said that it's a real fringy theory, and, you know, who knows? | ||
| But, aside from... | ||
| I thought it was proven to be true. | ||
| It's coming from a respected theoretical physicist at the University of Maryland. | ||
| I can't remember his name. | ||
| But he's definitely not like a kook. | ||
| It's coming from a respected scientist who has found this shit in these equations they're using to represent supersymmetry and string theory. | ||
| These weird symbols he's used to try to represent it. | ||
| But yeah, man, it's still like... | ||
| It's a pretty eerie thing. | ||
| Yeah, he tried to explain it to Neil deGrasse Tyson in a video. | ||
| The whole premise of it is very hard to wrap your head around, but this guy, his name is Dr. S. James Gates Jr., and he's a theoretical physicist. | ||
| With a crazy haircut. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| The John S. Toll Professor of Physics at the University of Maryland and the director of the Center for String and Particle Theory is reporting that certain string theory supersymmetrical equations which describe the fundamental nature of the universe and reality contain embedded computer codes. | ||
| These codes are digital data in the form of ones and zeros. | ||
| Not only that, These codes are the same as what makes web browsers work and our error correction codes. | ||
| Gates says, we have no idea what these things are doing here. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| So that's where it gets crazy. | ||
| Our first contact with a fucking alien is going to be with the programmer. | ||
| But where it gets really weird, Joe, here's where it gets really fucking weird, is the idea that... | ||
| That we're running in a simulation inside a simulation. | ||
| In the same way that we're trying to simulate reality through video games, SimCity, various fucking weather pattern, supercomputers, and all the various ways we try to articulate reality through machines, this has already been done in a previous machine that's articulating itself, like some kind of mirror refracting off itself, infinitely going into itself, always inventing itself again and again and again and again. | ||
| If that is the case, what a trip it is to the idea of inventing video games while inside a simulation. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But see, this is where it gets cool, because maybe the simulation itself is a novelty generator. | ||
| Maybe the simulation, what it's here for, is to generate, you know, a novelty, which is like, look, man, let's see what happens if we put an entire planet full of people Who quantum, you know, nanobots have done neurological scans of their brain to do, like, kind of, like, neurological thumbprints, which we then animate within the machine. | ||
| Let's see what they do. | ||
| I mean, what we did was we invented some crazy shit. | ||
| Let's see if they invent some new shit inside the simulator. | ||
| And all of a sudden, the simulator's inventing new technologies that are going up through the goddamn, the different levels of the machine until finally it pops out and the programmer's desk is like, oh, fucking awesome. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| One of these beings invented time travel. | ||
| Let's make a time machine. | ||
| The machine invented time travel. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| But it's like a really great computer. | ||
| Like right now, we put into like, what's it called, Wolfram Alpha? | ||
| You can throw in some pretty awesome equations and it'll spit out, like you can do a lot of crazy shit. | ||
| But how great would it be if you had just a machine where you just seed it with living beings and it starts regurgitating inventions that these beings are creating? | ||
| How fucking awesome would that be? | ||
| You know? | ||
| You know what I found the other day, man? | ||
| It's laying around here somewhere. | ||
| It's a camera, an Apple camera from a long fucking time ago, man. | ||
| And it looks like such a piece of shit now. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| This is like one of the first digital cameras. | ||
| It's like a dinosaur. | ||
| And it's only from a tiny amount of years ago. | ||
| What is 15 years in the greater spectrum of the universe or just even of human history? | ||
| It ain't shit. | ||
| 15 years ain't shit. | ||
| But this 15-year-old camera was fucking useless. | ||
| Just useless, stupid-looking camera. | ||
| That's another component of technological advancement is each earlier phase always seems stupid. | ||
| Stupid. | ||
| But when it comes out, it seems awesome. | ||
| Awesome. | ||
| Well, try driving like an old car. | ||
| You know, old cars, they look great, but if you try driving like a 1969 Chevelle, they're really hard to handle. | ||
| There's a lot of slack in the steering. | ||
| They have this crazy power steering where it's really numb. | ||
| It feels real strange. | ||
| They slide all over the place. | ||
| You hit the brakes, they lock up and go sideways. | ||
| I mean, they're really dangerous death traps. | ||
| And then go from that to what you drive, that Mini. | ||
| That thing is like a little go-kart. | ||
| Little fucking spaceship. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| It ain't no go-kart. | ||
| But I mean, the way it's low to the ground like that, that thing is light. | ||
| And when you get a light car that has a really good drivetrain and a good transmission and tight steering, that wasn't even possible. | ||
| What your Mini, what people would consider a sporty economy car, that was a race car just a few decades ago. | ||
| Dude, what about this? | ||
| If I take my fucking phone, I guess you know that you've been dealing with this for years, but like I've been driving an 89 Volvo that could barely get me to the fucking grocery store for a very long time. | ||
| So for me, being on the phone, and then I get into the Mini Cooper... | ||
| And it goes into the system. | ||
| Pops into the speakers? | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| It just does it. | ||
| It knows. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It just does it. | |
| The phone just shifts into the speakers of the car. | ||
| That's insane, man. | ||
| It's incredible if you really stop and think about it. | ||
| If you think about the fact that we're driving around like that, you know... | ||
| Just talking in the air and it's transmitted to someone else who's driving around doing the same thing. | ||
| How about the quantum teleportation shit they're doing where they're blasting photons across lakes? | ||
| What the fuck is that? | ||
| And they're saying, like, in the articles that I've read, and I didn't research them deeply, but the articles I read, they're saying, well, this isn't teleportation, but it's a nice step in that direction. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| Did you just say you actually made a step in the direction of teleportation? | ||
| Like, think of the effect that has on society. | ||
| Teleport-fucking-tation, man, where, like, instead of having to go through a security line at a goddamn airport, you just zap from your home teleporter to fucking Asia in a millisecond? | ||
| Where do you want to eat tonight? | ||
| France or China? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You decide. | ||
| You always make me fucking decide. | ||
| What about that nice little kibosh place in Egypt? | ||
| Let's go there. | ||
| Now you're just deciding anywhere on the planet that you want to go. | ||
| I think it's more like people showing up and then kicking you in the balls and then disappearing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's a kibosh? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| What is a kibosh? | ||
| I just made it up. | ||
| Did you? | ||
| It's a stone food. | ||
| It's something... | ||
| On stones? | ||
| It's a mythical stoner food that exists in my simulator. | ||
| A kibosh. | ||
| Never heard of it, dude. | ||
| I think I wanted to say something between a Kabbalah and a squash or something. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's a combination of the tree of life mixed in with a buttered squash. | ||
| The Kabbalah was the thing that Roseanne was into for a while and Madonna, I believe, was into it for a while too, right? | ||
| Well, yeah, man. | ||
| And before then, it's been around, like, much longer than that. | ||
| It's like, you know, tarot cards are based on it. | ||
| It's a crazy son of a bitch, man. | ||
| It's just a... | ||
| It's trying to, like, map energy flows from nothingness into somethingness. | ||
| And it's a very strange, esoteric thing, which I don't understand. | ||
| I keep... | ||
| Wanting to study it more. | ||
| When I got strep throat and was fucking blasted on codeine for five days, I spent a good two days just fucking reading the Kabbalah, and I had fucking tarot cards, and I was putting them on the floor to try to understand the way they connect to the Kabbalah, and I don't remember anything that I got out of that, but it was like a little bit of it, because it's very complicated. | ||
| Some people have emailed me and said they understand it, and I I think I might get Roseanne on my podcast and then I could ask her directly. | ||
| Dude, that would be incredible. | ||
| Roseanne Barr is a real fucking... | ||
| She's a real legend, man. | ||
| She's a firebrand. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, isn't she trying to run for president? | ||
| Is that what she's doing? | ||
| Yeah, she's running for fucking president, man. | ||
| She's going for it. | ||
| It's a good way to get info out there, you know? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It gets some exposure, and she does not give a fuck! | ||
| I know, but it's also a fun thing, I'm sure. | ||
| No, but she... | ||
| She can't really think she's going to be president. | ||
| She doesn't think she's going to be president, but she's got, like, shit that she's trying to get out into the world. | ||
| I mean, if you follow her fucking Twitter stream, man, she blasts some crazy shit out there. | ||
| If Ron Paul couldn't fucking make it through... | ||
| That was a disappointing one, man. | ||
| That was almost like, wow, let's see, maybe this is real. | ||
| Maybe this is real. | ||
| But there's like so much evidence of them trying to suppress his victories. | ||
| He won a couple of states, he kept that shit under wraps. | ||
| God, we always fall for the trick. | ||
| I fall for it every fucking year, man. | ||
| Every election I fall for it. | ||
| I certainly wanted to believe with Obama. | ||
| I felt like he was the closest guy to us. | ||
| He was in his 40s, young guy, black guy, single mom, the whole deal. | ||
| You'd figure this is a guy, he's going to set us right. | ||
| Dude, I was on fucking Sunset Boulevard in Silver Lake, drunk, howling at cars with a group of hipsters when Obama got elected. | ||
| I was so fucking happy. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I voted for him. | ||
| I fucking... | ||
| Man, I was like, this is it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is it. | |
| And you know... | ||
| He has done some pretty... | ||
| Now look, before I get as fucking assailed by a million tweets about the fucking drone attacks... | ||
| Guys, I fucking understand. | ||
| I do know that there is some... | ||
| That fucking his DEA has busted more goddamn dispensaries than George W. Bush's fucking DEA. You know, like, there's some fucked up shit going on. | ||
| But, you know, there are some other things that he's, you know... | ||
| The big thing was the social thing to me. | ||
| It was like, wow, we have accepted a guy who's half black from a single mom, you know, who admits he smoked marijuana, you know? | ||
| Didn't he say he did a little coke? | ||
| But this is the problem! | ||
| He fucking jokes about smoking dope and his goddamn DEA is tossing farmers in prison. | ||
| Yeah, and not only that, you know, we're selling this hemp force protein powder. | ||
| We can't even grow this hemp in America. | ||
| We have to get it from Canada. | ||
| And thank you for informing me on all this, folks. | ||
| People tweeted me that it was legal in Vermont. | ||
| So we looked into it, and it is, but the federal government is not letting people do it. | ||
| They're still saying it's illegal federally. | ||
| And this is just growing the plant hemp, which isn't psychoactive at all. | ||
| Because it's related to marijuana, they've decided that there's no way people should be able to grow it. | ||
| Which is hilarious. | ||
| So you can have it, but you've got to buy it from Canada. | ||
| So we have this wacky deal. | ||
| We have to import that shit. | ||
| Even though it's not even psychoactive. | ||
| They're just telling you that a useful plant is illegal. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| I mean, it's one of the weirdest... | ||
| Aspects of the drug war and, you know, the war for marijuana legalization is the actual, like, hemp. | ||
| Hemp fiber. | ||
| The actual hemp as a resource. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh, yeah, man. | ||
| As a commodity. | ||
| Hemp as a commodity is very, very valuable. | ||
| It's very valuable, yet illegal to grow and harvest in this country. | ||
| And it was grown by the colonies. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And people don't have any idea. | ||
| That's what rope used to be made of. | ||
| That's what canvas is made out of. | ||
| When you paint all those ancient paintings, like the Mona Lisa, those are made on cannabis. | ||
| It's cannabis. | ||
| It comes from the word cannabis. | ||
| Because it's a stronger fiber. | ||
| Cotton is weak as shit compared to hemp. | ||
| We get used to cotton. | ||
| We just assume that's just what it is. | ||
| It is what it is. | ||
| But cotton is nothing compared to hemp. | ||
| Hemp paper is better. | ||
| Hemp paper is really hard to rip. | ||
| It's fucking super strong. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's kind of like an alien plant, man. | ||
| The stalk is really light, but it gets real dense and hard. | ||
| Dude, don't get me going on that plant, man. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| When you get around a nice, flourishing marijuana plant, you know like when you get around a fucking monkey and it's like dog plus marijuana plants? | ||
| Maybe I'm just projecting, but they seem like plants plus. | ||
| They seem like there's a little bit more going on in the sons of bitches. | ||
| They've got a weird... | ||
| Fucking energy field around them. | ||
| It's just different. | ||
| I went to a dispensary's grow room once. | ||
| And you walk into their back room, they had a grow room. | ||
| And the grow room was like tingly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And there's all these plants that are like super healthy and super moist. | ||
| They're getting spray. | ||
| They have like a little spray thing that's timed. | ||
| Sprying them certain times during the day, and they live under these lamps, and the lamps are on for a certain amount of time, and off for a certain amount of time, and you're watching it, and it's like, these are like intelligent creatures. | ||
| They feel like they're greeting you with their energy. | ||
| Yeah, it's strange around one of those things. | ||
| But then it's even creepier that you chop them up. | ||
| like what the man you don't even let them grow you grow a certain point and then like all right time to die bitch yeah you chop them and then you light them on fire dude and that's the relationship it's the fire sacrifice man it's like this isn't you know this is like in every single religion there's a reference to burning incense there's Burning bush. | ||
| Burning bush. | ||
| It's in everything, dude. | ||
| And it's like the fact that the component has been removed from the equation, the variables, they're trying to take the variable out of the fucking equation. | ||
| It's like, sometimes when you go to certain churches... | ||
| It's like a bunch of people. | ||
| How many churches are you going to? | ||
| Oh, dude, you gotta go to fucking churches from time to time. | ||
| Are you kidding? | ||
| Fuck yeah, man. | ||
| They're so psychedelic and cool and interesting phenomena. | ||
| It's like, I'll go to a church over a zoo. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I'll go to a church over a laser light show. | ||
| So how often do you go into churches? | ||
| I went on for a little tear of going to a Gnostic Christian church because of this book that I read. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I would eat some edible marijuana and go to the Gnostic Christian church to watch the Gnostic Mass, which is this beautiful ancient ceremony, which is like... | ||
| Basically, it is. | ||
| It's an occult ritual. | ||
| It's like you're doing something called the transubstantiation, which is transforming matter into the flesh of infinity. | ||
| But the Gnostics don't take things literally. | ||
| It's a different fucking thing altogether, and it's quite beautiful. | ||
| I'm not a Gnostic Christian, but man, chop on some fucking marijuana, go to a Gnostic Christian church respectfully, don't go there like some asshole, go there respectfully, and fucking report back. | ||
| You'll find that the experience is rather moving and beautiful. | ||
| And it's, um... | ||
| You can see how that component in religion is very important, psychedelic. | ||
| See, we do psychedelics now, right? | ||
| Generally we do psychedelics, but we don't have ceremony. | ||
| We have a kind of rudimentary ceremony, the passing of the joint, certain rules based around the consumption of the substance, but there's no real ceremony after that. | ||
| I think some people do it, but It's mostly you get high and you watch them, you know, you hang out with your friends, maybe you work out, go jogging, draw, right? | ||
| There's, like, rudimentary low-level ceremonies, but no, like, chanting, candles, incense, ancient scriptures. | ||
| What's the benefit of the ceremony? | ||
| Well, the first thing to remove when it comes to spiritual stuff is the term benefit. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Because it's a weird thing that plays against a lot of the way we understand shit. | ||
| You're not going for it for so much of benefit. | ||
| Though it is entertaining, and you are getting some instant kind of benefit from just being in a beautiful space, listening to people chant when you're super baked. | ||
| There's some immediate benefit that comes from that. | ||
| I think there's a lot of... | ||
| For me, the experience was like, this is a very old thing that I don't understand that well. | ||
| And the energy in here is fucking cool. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| That was the first thing that came out of it. | ||
| And then... | ||
| The priest made a joke about marijuana, actually. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I can't remember, but I remember being like, whoa, fucking crazy, man, because I'd just been reading in this book, magic, marijuana, and religion, that cannabis was ritualistically consumed in Gnostic ceremonies. | ||
| It was kind of weird and interesting. | ||
| Anyway, man, it's a beautiful fucking thing. | ||
| But when you see rituals that don't have psychoactive components in them, sometimes it feels like you're watching people warming their hands on dry tender that hasn't been set alight and pretending that there's fire coming up out of it. | ||
| It's like to remove the psychedelic from ritual when we see in so many indigenous cultures the It's a component of their spirituality and their religion. | ||
| It's kind of interesting. | ||
| Yeah, it was a very important aspect of the growth, a very important aspect of the ceremony itself, the transcending to the next stage, the going through the experience, the trip, to having the vision quests, the peyote ritual, whether it was the ayahuasca ritual, whether it was mushrooms in South America and Mexico. | ||
| Whatever it was, it was all about a transformative experience. | ||
| It was all about getting closer to Gaia, getting closer to the energy, the true energy, which we all get off, man. | ||
| Society is very complicated. | ||
| Our social interactions are so overbearing. | ||
| The idea that there's 300 million of us jammed onto this spot interacting with each other all the time. | ||
| It's hard to stay steady. | ||
| It's hard to stay on track, not freak out. | ||
| But then there's comedy in freaking out, too. | ||
| It's a problem, too. | ||
| The more you freak out and get pissed at things, the funnier it is. | ||
| Yeah, and you gotta let yourself freak, too. | ||
| I mean, that's another thing is, like, people, this fucking thing where people are all about being happy all the time, people have confused, you know, happiness as the end goal. | ||
| Like, having this emotional state of just, I'm happy today! | ||
| Like, that's not it. | ||
| The idea is being fully yourself and the entire spectrum of emotional experience, you know, man? | ||
| And it's like, and part of the emotional experience of existing is having meltdowns from time to time. | ||
| Like, it's good to have a nice meltdown from time to time. | ||
| It's good to, like, freak. | ||
| Don't beat yourself up for fucking losing your shit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's gonna happen. | ||
| Why wouldn't you lose your shit? | ||
| You're in a goddamn simulator with fucking dual error correcting code at the fundamental layer of the universe and the thing is more than likely... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Allegedly. | |
| We're too stupid to really understand that. | ||
| It's more than likely a telescoping simulation where each incremental telescoping moving out becomes more and more entropic and out of focus and we're somewhere in this like middle, mid-range of this telescoping simulator that keeps getting washed out more and more and more. | ||
| This is the principle and physics of the universe expanding and running out of energy or the idea in Hinduism of Kali Yuga, the final age of human beings or the Mayan calendar and all the various eschatological prophecies talking about the end of the world. | ||
| The fucking simulator is going to run out of juice. | ||
| Someone's going to get called to dinner and have to stop playing the fucking game. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or, or I love my country. | |
| I love God. | ||
| I love my guns. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| And anybody who wants to change that, they gotta come through me. | ||
| They gotta come through me. | ||
| I love my simulator. | ||
| I love the programmer. | ||
| And anybody who wants to fuck with the operating system is gonna have to go through my firewall. | ||
| I love the engineer. | ||
| I took the blue pill. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| Well, then, you know, those guys are nuts. | ||
| Didn't one of those fucking guys get a sex check? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Well, you know the whole controversy behind the script? | ||
| There was a woman who claimed that she had written that and given it to them, like, years before, and then they took the idea and made it a movie. | ||
| But I think she lost. | ||
| I think she lost in court. | ||
| It's got to be hard to try to get money out of the Matrix, even if it's true. | ||
| There's fucking so much money behind that machine. | ||
| But yeah, she sued. | ||
| I don't know if she's crazy. | ||
| I shouldn't even be bringing it up. | ||
| Because you never really know. | ||
| Sometimes people steal ideas, but sometimes people are kind of crazy. | ||
| Well, I mean, and also the idea of the Matrix itself is like an age-old idea. | ||
| Yeah, but I think the similarities were very extreme. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, I'm talking out of my ass. | ||
| Let me pull it up real quick. | ||
| Matrix lawsuit. | ||
| What a great movie, man. | ||
| There's so much information encoded in that son of a bitch. | ||
| Yeah, but the sequels were terrible. | ||
| I don't remember the sequels. | ||
| You don't? | ||
| No, man. | ||
| I really don't. | ||
| I remember the first one. | ||
| It's almost like they gave the reins to somebody else. | ||
| Snopes. | ||
| There's a Snopes, which means it's a problem. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Isn't it usually? | ||
| What is Snopes? | ||
| Yeah, when it's Snopes, it's like they're clearing up a myth. | ||
| Isn't almost all of Snopes clearing up myths? | ||
| Yeah, it says, the claim is that she won a large judgment in a copyright infringement suit over the authorship of the film The Matrix. | ||
| That is false, apparently. | ||
| And she started in, okay, in October 4th, 2004, ended a six-year dispute involving Sophia Stewart. | ||
| And so six fucking years are dragged on. | ||
| Copyright infringement, racketeering, received and acknowledged by the Central District of California, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| Stewart, who has resided in Salt Lake City for the past five years, will recover damages from the films. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| She recovered damages? | ||
| The Matrix 1, 2, and 3, as well as The Terminator and its sequels. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| She will soon receive one of the biggest payoffs in the history of Hollywood, as well as gross receipts of both films and their sequels to a total of $2.5 billion. | ||
| What? | ||
| I thought it just said it wasn't real. | ||
| Yeah, I got confused. | ||
| I thought they were explaining it. | ||
| Oh, this is examples. | ||
| This is examples of the various lies. | ||
| Oh, I see. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| 2.5 billion dollars. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Apparently, she generated controversy by claiming in a lawsuit brought against directors Andy and Larry. | ||
| Which one became a chick? | ||
| Can I ask you something? | ||
| Holla. | ||
| When you deposit a huge amount of money into your bank account, how long does it take to go through? | ||
| Like, if you deposited, like, a million dollars in your bank account. | ||
| I don't know, but listen to this. | ||
| Stewart's case was dismissed in June 2005 when she failed to show up for a preliminary hearing of her case. | ||
| In a 53-page ruling, Judge Margaret Morrow of the Central District Court of California dismissed the suit, saying Stewart and her attorneys had not entered any evidence to bolster its key claims or demonstrated any striking similarity between her work. | ||
| And she didn't show up. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Wow, man. | ||
| I don't know what that is. | ||
| You think they paid her? | ||
| You think they pulled her side and said, listen, bitch. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| They've got a shitload of money. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Probably not. | ||
| I wonder how close it was. | ||
| How close the case was. | ||
| I mean, who knows, man. | ||
| You can take anyone to court. | ||
| You can file suit against people. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, people, when I worked at the Comedy Store, filed suit against Mitzi for sending negative telepathic vibes into their thoughts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| For reals? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Crazy. | ||
| So you had to go to court for that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Kooks! | |
| Look up the parking meter lady. | ||
| There's someone suing the city for their new parking meters. | ||
| You can Google search it. | ||
| It's like all over the news right now. | ||
| It freaked her out. | ||
| Do some people just like lawsuits? | ||
| They just get really good at it? | ||
| It's like a hobby. | ||
| Just fuck with the system. | ||
| Try to drag things through. | ||
| Well, I mean, of course, some people make a lot of money. | ||
| Like, some people will actually track down ladies' nights and sue the fucking companies. | ||
| Because they can't get in. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, that's some people's bread and butter. | ||
| How hilarious is that? | ||
| People will find places that aren't equipped for people in wheelchairs and they'll fucking sue them, man. | ||
| And you know, in that way, I am very much a feminist in that I think women should be allowed to have their own fucking gym. | ||
| And I don't think you should be allowed to protest that. | ||
| I think if women want to work out in a gym with no drooling fucking ape dudes, any guy who would try to go to that gym is an asshole. | ||
| If you want to go to a gym that's just completely filled with women who don't want to be around men, they know the deal, that's what they agree to, and you want to claim that your rights are being violated because this gym is closest to you, so you just, by proximity, you should be allowed to use it? | ||
| Like, they shouldn't be... | ||
| What a ridiculousness. | ||
| You shouldn't be allowed to limit your business to only include one gender because the other gender is always trying to fuck that single gender? | ||
| Always making them uncomfortable and feel weird when they're fucking stretching out? | ||
| Yeah, that is fucked. | ||
| It's fucking gross. | ||
| It's gross. | ||
| It's gross that any asshole would actually try to sue them for that. | ||
| That you would want to go. | ||
| But that's weird because women's bathrooms are sovereign nations for women. | ||
| A man can't sue to be allowed to go into a women's bathroom. | ||
| Well, a woman can't sue to be in a man's bathroom. | ||
| Right, so in there it's accepted. | ||
| But you can sue if there's not a woman's bathroom. | ||
| If you go to a place and there's only a man's bathroom, you could sue. | ||
| Right, you have to have both. | ||
| Yeah, you have to have both. | ||
| So they would have to build a gym. | ||
| If they built a gym next to that gym for all men, one would be empty and one would be filled with women. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you know, an all-man gym gets filled with gay guys. | ||
| Oh yeah, I forgot about that. | ||
| Gold's Gym? | ||
| Dumb joke. | ||
| I forgot about that. | ||
| When I first was on news radio, I'd work out there and I had this whole bit about it. | ||
| Doing bench press and dudes would just like spot you. | ||
| They wouldn't even ask. | ||
| They would just literally just dangle their balls right above your head. | ||
| They were like so cocky. | ||
| Like dudes were like hitting on dudes left and right in this gym. | ||
| It was crazy because that's what they were there for. | ||
| I watched these guys just fucking grunting through a set. | ||
| They were doing, the guy was doing rows, you know, so he's like bent over. | ||
| And the other guy is chest to back, okay, pressing down on him. | ||
| And the way he's spotting him is, you know, the guy is holding on to the bar and he's holding on to the top of the bar, chest to back. | ||
| And it's like he's fucking him, man. | ||
| I mean, it's like, it's really physical. | ||
| Like if I was doing that, I would, you know, if it was a chick, if I was doing that to my wife, I'd get a dick. | ||
| My dick would get hard. | ||
| If you were helping her pull and push like that, you would start to just put this fucking weight down. | ||
| What's up? | ||
| You know, you would immediately want to fuck. | ||
| I mean, it's a fucking motion. | ||
| These guys were doing that in the gym. | ||
| no it's funny how like the it's funny how the mythical the mythical world of porn like in the because in the porn universe the physics of porn are not the physics of the material world the physics of porn that happens dude you're at the gym and some chicks like hey can you spot me for a second and you're like sure i'll spot you and then like just she just starts sucking your dick and you're like wow i can't believe I guess I owe you one. | ||
| Zip. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the physics of porn. | ||
| And then another dude will come over and just start jacking off and sticking into her while she's sucking your dick. | ||
| And you don't care. | ||
| You're like, hey, what's up, buddy? | ||
| Yeah, let's run a train on this bitch. | ||
| Porn physics. | ||
| But it's weird how in places like what you're talking about, which I had this guy, this very fucking brilliant guy, Conor Habib, who also happens to be a gay porn star on my podcast. | ||
| And he was talking about fucking, he wrote actually a great essay on cruising. | ||
| and and and uh which will permanently shift your notion of rest areas permanently straight but like you know he calls those types of gyms that you're talking about I think the term he used was cruisy is the word of it so yeah so like those places that the physics in there are the same as inside porn if you're a gay dude you can go to a gym and like and you can fuck yeah you're gonna fuck Yeah, it's a completely different experience because there's no yang. | ||
| It's all just, everybody's just, or there's no yin. | ||
| I don't know which one is the hard style, but it's just, just fucking it up. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| They're just, they're just looking to fuck. | ||
| One thing I've never thought on my way to the gym is I'm probably gonna get laid in here. | ||
| I've never thought that. | ||
| I'm like, oh, I think I'm gonna get a fucking, probably get a blow job after my fucking squats today. | ||
| I told you when Bravo and I used to work out at this gym. | ||
| We used to work out at 24 Hour Fitness. | ||
| And when we would go there, there was a dude that we got friendly with. | ||
| It was the manager guy. | ||
| Real friendly guy. | ||
| And he had just transferred over from Santa Monica. | ||
| And he was just so happy. | ||
| He was so relaxed to be in the suburbs. | ||
| And I go, well, what's going on? | ||
| He goes, I was brought in there to clean it up. | ||
| And he was brought in there because they were just fucking everywhere. | ||
| They had just turned it into a gay gym. | ||
| It was not just a gay gym, but it was a gay pickup joint. | ||
| It was a disco. | ||
| So they would have a steam room. | ||
| They would fuck in the steam room. | ||
| People would constantly be walking in on guys fucking in the steam room. | ||
| They would find loads all over the benches and shit. | ||
| He'd have to come in and hose everything down. | ||
| So they had to literally clean up the whole place and tell them they've got to stop fucking. | ||
| And people would get mad at them. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| Do you think there was like one guy who was like straight and just annoyed all the time? | ||
| Because he was always sitting in jizz and like, I just want to fucking work out, dude. | ||
| I'm sure there must have been some straight guys there. | ||
| I was straight when I worked out at Gold's Gym. | ||
| I was straight. | ||
|
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|
When I started there, before I went queer. | |
| I was straight, and I was there, and so the guys I worked with were straight, and they were there. | ||
| It was a convenient gym. | ||
| It wasn't all gay, but it was at least 50%, maybe more gay, and they were really, like, they owned it. | ||
| They owned it. | ||
| They owned being gay. | ||
| They owned that place. | ||
| They would wear, like, Timberland boots with, like, fluffy, puffy socks and, like, shaved legs, very muscular legs with, ready? | ||
| Ready? | ||
| Ready? | ||
| Daisy Duke shorts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, and guys who would work out like that with a tank top on. | ||
| They were gay as fuck. | ||
| Dude, at the fucking Gold's Gym. | ||
| I used to work out at Gold's Gym in Hollywood. | ||
| On coal, that's what I'm talking about. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| Gold's on coal in Hollywood. | ||
| Oh, yeah, dude. | ||
| There was a guy in Chaps who'd work out there in a fucking black leather hat and fucking Chaps. | ||
| He was just wandered off of a fucking ranch filled with... | ||
| But it's their spot, man. | ||
| Good for them. | ||
| I've never understood anti-gay feelings. | ||
| They seem like they're having a fun time. | ||
| I know a lot of gay people and it seems like they're having a good time. | ||
| They got a lot of disposable income. | ||
| I know this gay couple, they're always driving a new car. | ||
| I feel like they're having a great time. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| These fucking homophobes. | ||
| These fucks right now are really, like, really... | ||
| But it's cool, man, because, like, what's happening, what's really cool and fascinating is, like, the bigots are the ones who are being driven into the closet. | ||
| It used to be that, like, it's like reversing. | ||
| Like, gay people are coming out of the closet, and bigots are getting pushed into the closet that they came out of, which is a great fucking part. | ||
| That's a good balance. | ||
| That's what it should be like. | ||
| And I've always said that that's my take on everything, that as a human being, that I should be a humanist. | ||
| And it shouldn't matter whether I'm with the straights or with the gays or the whites or the blacks. | ||
| We should all just be with the humans. | ||
| And I've resisted any ideas of being a masculinist or any ideas of being a feminist or any ideas of being a nationalist or any ideas of being... | ||
| Yes. | ||
| This is ridiculous. | ||
| You're a fucking human. | ||
| We're all human. | ||
| And it should be real simple. | ||
| We should get in each other's way as little as possible, help each other out as much as possible. | ||
| It's really that simple. | ||
| It's very simple. | ||
| It's really that simple. | ||
| And anything else is crazy. | ||
| And that's why, you know, people got really upset about this whole Tosh thing. | ||
| And people got upset at the backlash. | ||
| But I think we can't ever pretend that intent is not important. | ||
| We can't ever pretend that there are buzzwords that you can never use or subjects which you can never cover or, you know, or you're not allowed to because someone could have possibly had a bad experience and you're going to trigger an event. | ||
| That's not comedy, man. | ||
| You can't have those sort of restrictions and have stand-up comedy. | ||
| It's not going to work that way. | ||
| You're going to miss out on a lot of great comedy. | ||
| Dude, you can't have those fucking restrictions on anything. | ||
| You can't have it on literature. | ||
| You can't have it on poetry. | ||
| You can't have it on art. | ||
| Why do these smart people want to restrict people? | ||
| Why do these smart people want to come down on it so hard when they know what is really going on? | ||
| Well, I think there's a bunch of different answers to that question. | ||
| I think there's a variety of reasons people want to do it, from the From, I suppose, people who are crusaders or true believers in what they're doing. | ||
| Really have gotten the language virus to the nth degree and really believe that they have to fucking shoot the abortion doctor in the fucking face. | ||
| Really fucking believe to all the way to the bottom level where people are trying to look fucking cool. | ||
| Or even worse, how about the guy who goes to the Sikh temple and doesn't even understand that Sikhs are very peaceful people and thinks that they're Muslims in some way. | ||
| And he's got 9-11 tattoos on his body and he kills a bunch of people. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Unless you want to Alex Jones it up. | ||
| False flag operation! | ||
| False flag! | ||
| Well, look, man, I don't fucking know, man. | ||
| But I do think that the complexity of the... | ||
| I think that the greedy, selfish, lying people tend to use complexity to their advantage. | ||
| And people who seem to be more on the fucking beam, as the Freemasons say, have very simple ideas, very simple fucking ideas Like what Gandhi said, you know? | ||
| Very simple idea. | ||
| Find someone who needs help and help them. | ||
| It's simple. | ||
| And right away some asshole's like, yeah, but what does that mean? | ||
| What does help mean? | ||
| It's like, I'll tell you what help means. | ||
| Somebody fucking might need you to loan them some money. | ||
| Somebody might need you to bring them some soup. | ||
| Somebody might need a ride to the fucking airport. | ||
| It's not complicated, man. | ||
| It's basic. | ||
| And if everyone starts following basic principles like that... | ||
| There's plenty of resources. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The real problem is we got this weird competitive game that's going on and it's set up not in an efficient way where we generate just the amount that we need in order to be happy, but in some crazy way where you never think enough is enough. | ||
| And the game becomes part of what motivates you. | ||
| And instead of it just being about happiness, it sometimes morphs into just being about the numbers. | ||
| Just being about the game. | ||
| Just being about accomplishments. | ||
| And you get nutty. | ||
| And you're like, you could become Evander Holyfield when you're living in a 110-room mansion that costs a million dollars a year to keep the electricity on. | ||
| I mean, people can get like that. | ||
| I saw a piece of real estate online the other day that was a house for 40 fucking million dollars. | ||
| And I was looking at this house. | ||
| I was like, that is the craziest fucking shit I've ever seen in my life. | ||
| But somewhere, there's a dude who's like, I'm ready to take it to the next level. | ||
| I'm here with this $10 million house. | ||
| It's a piece of shit to me. | ||
| I'm ready to move up. | ||
| It's fucking international. | ||
| I want to be at the top. | ||
| Monetary gangster type motherfucker with some serious shekels. | ||
| Top of the tree. | ||
| There's a great website. | ||
| Check it out. | ||
| Awesome blog. | ||
| Rich kids of Instagram. | ||
| Have you seen this shit? | ||
| No. | ||
| Dude, Google that. | ||
| Look at the receipts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, God. | |
| These fucking rich kids take... | ||
| They put receipts? | ||
| They take pictures of receipts? | ||
| $103,000 dinners with like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The kids? | ||
| Yeah, Rich Kids of Instagram. | ||
| Fucking check it out. | ||
| Why must you do this to me, Duncan? | ||
| I apologize, but it's amazing. | ||
| It's an amazing website, man. | ||
| Fucking inflatable. | ||
| Wow, it's like the first, when I wrote Rich Kids of Instagram. | ||
| It's a beautiful site, dude. | ||
| And they're saying they're going to have to try to keep their kids from posting this shit on Instagram. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Because it's a security threat. | ||
| So it is a website? | ||
| Instagram.com? | ||
| RichKidsofInstagram.com? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, there it is. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah, this is awesome. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| They have a giant bottle of moe and they're... | ||
| Just scroll down. | ||
| Four gallons of moe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Dude, get to the receipt. | ||
| Just scroll down. | ||
| There's a $103,000 receipt in there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| The girl's chilling in the mansion. | ||
| She's a little kid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I can't find any receipts. | ||
| But they got some dope-ass houses. | ||
| Yes, they do. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| This guy's living in a fucking castle. | ||
| Yeah, they live in castles. | ||
| It must be really hard to be like, yeah, here he is, $107,000 and put the receipt online. | ||
| What a douchebag. | ||
| But Cokes are like $10. | ||
| San Tropez, yeah. | ||
| Cappuccinos, $12. | ||
| Coca-Cola is $10. | ||
| Two Coca-Colas, $10 each. | ||
| But it's like crazy wines. | ||
| Dom Perignon, $4,000. | ||
| Another Dom, $5,000. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| $107,000 for dinner. | ||
| What's the tip? | ||
| It doesn't show. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It just says $107,000. | ||
| It's got to be. | ||
| Maybe in Centro Pay you don't tip. | ||
| Maybe it's one of those weird places. | ||
| There's a lot of places where you don't tip. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, you can. | ||
| I do. | ||
| But they don't expect it. | ||
| I'm sure the waiter gets taken care of at a restaurant that has $107,000 dinners. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| But when you have $40,000... | ||
| I said $4,000. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| I meant $40,000. | ||
| The Dom Perignon is $40,000. | ||
| So is the other one. | ||
| It's not $5,000. | ||
| It's $50,000. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's why it's so high. | ||
| That's fucking incredible. | ||
| You can buy a bottle of something for $50,000? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Are we sure it's dollars? | ||
| It's not you can buy it. | ||
| You can sell it. | ||
| That's the hopeful aspect of it. | ||
| There's dipshits out there gonna pay fifty fucking thousand dollars for your goddamn carbonated grape juice. | ||
| How dumb is that? | ||
| That's awesome! | ||
| Isn't that the craziest thing of all time? | ||
| That someone would actually spend that much money? | ||
| I mean, how good could it be? | ||
| It can't be. | ||
| There's no way it can be. | ||
| It can't be. | ||
| It's probably not even as good as Kool-Aid. | ||
| Kool-Aid is fucking delicious. | ||
| Especially if you're really thirsty. | ||
| It's sweet. | ||
| It's delicious. | ||
| Dude, if I'm paying $40,000 for something, that shit better come out of the fucking, some frozen vault of Sando's laboratories. | ||
| It better be some fucking, it better be the acid that Hoffman first generated and stored in a crystal vial somewhere deep under the Pentagon. | ||
| And even that, maybe that would be worth $50,000 because it would be so life-changing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's kind of silly, man. | ||
| It's kind of the weird thing with wine. | ||
| Wine is such a strange beverage. | ||
| Those people that get together and work on the tastes of it, and they have educated palates. | ||
| Some of them, they become high-level sommeliers. | ||
| They can detect where the grapes are from, but just by tasting a glass of wine. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's fucking weird, but it's, I mean, definitely, like, when I went up to, like, I went up to fucking Solving once to, like, to drink, like, wine from the vineyards, and it's awesome, dude. | ||
| It's incredible, the variations and the taste and the, like, the beauty of the set, of the terrain. | ||
| It's, like, a really beautiful thing, man. | ||
| It's, like... | ||
| What's it like up there? | ||
| What's the climate like? | ||
| When we were there, it was hot, as I recall, man. | ||
| Summer? | ||
| Was it summer? | ||
| It was summer, and you get cars to drive around because you're going to get trash going to the vineyard slurping all that wine. | ||
| And our fucking goddamn driver was like an AA dude. | ||
| It's like, so our driver's this sober guy driving us to the vineyards, and you felt kind of guilty by the end of the day because you're just like in the back of the goddamn car with like crusty red wine all over your lips, like wanting to puke. | ||
| How much wine did you drink over the course of a day? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, God. | |
| There's no telling! | ||
| I didn't have to worry about a DUI and I was taking marijuana tincture at the same time. | ||
| So do you think you drank a half a gallon maybe? | ||
| Oh yeah, easily. | ||
| Half a gallon of wine. | ||
| I would imagine. | ||
| People must be falling down left and right. | ||
| Oh, they're trashed. | ||
| And by the end of the day, you're slurring your words and just gesturing at fucking things on the menu and barely talk. | ||
| I can never do that. | ||
| You don't have to get trashed. | ||
| I can't get drunk at dinner. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| Because then I'm going to come home to the kids. | ||
| I never want to be drunk around my kids. | ||
| See, that's why it's good to have kids, man. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| The older I get, the more inhuman I feel. | ||
| Because I don't have a sweet little baby. | ||
| Oh, I'd love a little fucking tot. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure you would, but you, first of all, have to have a relationship with a person. | ||
| What? | ||
| Deep, deep relationship with a person. | ||
| I know. | ||
| You know each other very, very, very well. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah? | |
| And you enjoy each other very much. | ||
| And if you don't, you're fucked. | ||
| And then it becomes a nightmare. | ||
| But, you know, keeps you from coming home drunk. | ||
| That's for fucksure. | ||
| No, it doesn't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It would. | |
| It doesn't keep a lot of people. | ||
| Well, they're fools. | ||
| A lot of people it does not keep from going. | ||
| Yeah, I think you should not be impaired around your kid. | ||
| Dude, have you seen that picture of the baby sleeping under the bar stool? | ||
| Have you ever seen that picture? | ||
| I don't want to hear about it. | ||
| Fucking dragging the kid to the bar. | ||
| I don't even want to hear about it, dude. | ||
| There's so many people that just fucking get a shit roll of the dice and they're born into a family full of dummies. | ||
| Dummies doing dumb things. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| It's a bit of a problem. | ||
| I wonder if things are really changing, Duncan, the way I feel like they're changing. | ||
| I wonder if it's just my circle of people, and I wonder if it's just the people that we come in contact with through the podcast and through Twitter, the positive people. | ||
| I wonder how much the world shares in the sort of the vibe that we feel and that we're riding. | ||
| And I always wonder if that is what, if putting that out there, if If it's possible that we can get our shit together by using the internet, by using podcasts, by using different ways to communicate to each other, that we can somehow or another all be reached and all get our shit together. | ||
| In this generation more so than anybody's ever done before. | ||
| Well, you know, man, I mean, I think that there has to be a, you know, everyone has to keep using the technology. | ||
| It's like, dude, like when I went to fucking Cincinnati, this guy, I met this awesome guy named Izzy, who started his own podcast from listening to your podcast and listening to my podcast. | ||
| He started his own podcast. | ||
| I call it Tales from the Hard Side. | ||
| The Hard Side? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But he was... | ||
| No, man. | ||
| He definitely is kind of like a ripped dude. | ||
| He's definitely had a very fascinating life. | ||
| But the point is, he listened to this... | ||
| And then he started his own podcast. | ||
| There's a group of them who hang out together now from listening to your podcast and from listening to my podcast. | ||
| And they started their own fucking podcast, which is a kind of cool thing. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Because it's spreading it more. | ||
| The bottom line is... | ||
| You can't get hierarchical with your geography because a lot of people are like, you know, I just live in Pennsylvania. | ||
| There's no one here to have a good conversation with or wherever the fuck they say they live. | ||
| It's like, I guarantee you're surrounded by people who want to talk about philosophical shit and want to connect with someone on a level deeper than just what you had for lunch and what fucking clothes are cool or movies or whatever. | ||
| You say that, but unless you're in a city, that's probably not the case. | ||
| Dude, I was just in... | ||
| Well, you know, yeah. | ||
| Depending on how old you are, especially. | ||
| Man, all I know is that, like, I don't want to sound too weirdly patting myself on the back, but it's you, too. | ||
| Like, when you go to these fucking shows, dude, there's thousands of fucking people there, and when you talk to them after the show, they're all really fucking cool, and they didn't all just come from metropolitan areas. | ||
| These people are coming from different towns and cities, and But they have access to us. | ||
| They might not have access to people near them, is what I'm saying, that also share in those interests. | ||
| There might not be anybody around them like that. | ||
| You might think there is, but unless they're in a really large area where there's a lot of people to choose from, you might not be correct. | ||
| It takes a lot of people, a lot of focus, to get the group of 2,000 people that will come to see one of our shows. | ||
| You've got to go through hundreds of thousands of Regular people. | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| To find those 2,000 disenfranchised people that really want to say, fuck yeah, Duncan Trussell. | ||
| Bust out a little hobo, bitch. | ||
| You know? | ||
| The people that listen to this podcast, the people that... | ||
| Look, I've had people come up to me that say, I hate the word cunt, and then I loved your podcast. | ||
| The first time I heard you say cunt, it bugged me. | ||
| But now I say it every day. | ||
| Now everything's a cunt. | ||
| Everyone's a cunt. | ||
| She's a cunt. | ||
| This is a cunt. | ||
| My cat's a cunt. | ||
| My sister's a cunt. | ||
| And it just becomes a part of your vernacular. | ||
| And that's nothing I'm proud of. | ||
| with something bad or stupid, ridiculous like the word cunt. | ||
| It can happen with any sort of idea. | ||
| Any idea can get through because of a podcast, like the idea of treating each other really as if we are ourselves living in another life. | ||
| The idea of recognizing that this really is a temporary situation. | ||
| Temporary situation, and you need to live it. | ||
| You need to live this bitch up, okay? | ||
| Because you're not going to feel good unless you do. | ||
| If you hang back and be that guy that you described earlier, who's 30, well, wait till I'm 40, I'll get my shit together, and then 40, and I still don't have a career, but hey, man, I got a good job, I'm going to keep it for a little while, maybe I'm going to learn how to be an apprentice, and then one day he's dead. | ||
| Just keel over. | ||
| And he missed his ride. | ||
| Just keel over. | ||
| And then he could be a guy like you. | ||
| The guy who's gone on peaks and valleys and had dry spots and now is riding this new crazy wave where you sort of just figured out how to get on the board and really fucking travel. | ||
| Yeah, that's a fucking cool thing, man, is because it's right there and it just requires a kind of like... | ||
| The thing is, it's so fucking simple. | ||
| But it's not. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| Because to have access to people is not simple by any stretch of the imagination. | ||
| To have the right ideas, sure. | ||
| But in order to get those ideas in front of people, that takes a heroic effort. | ||
| Man, I just think, like, the thing that I'm, like, hesitating to say, because I don't want it to sound fucking culty, is, like, I really do think that people can, like, organize. | ||
| I do believe that wherever you're at, man, there's gotta be something. | ||
| There's ways that you could fucking figure out other people who, like, have this kind of interest that we talk about here. | ||
| Well, I think through Twitter, that's one way. | ||
| Where you find out people that are interested in the same kind of shows that you're interested in, and you find out that you're in your town, hey, where's the cool motherfuckers up in Tallahassee? | ||
| And you put that up on Twitter, and you know, put Tallahassee as a hashtag. | ||
| Actually, now people are doing it back and forth. | ||
| That's it, dude. | ||
| And it's like, that, that, it's really fucking important because it's not just good enough to exist in fucking digital space with people. | ||
| You need, it's like something about getting into fucking meat space with people and like exchanging ideas and like being around people. | ||
| It like, it, it, it, uh. | ||
| It kind of shines a light in the shadowy darkness that can come into you if you've isolated yourself because you feel like you're a psychotic freak with insane ideas. | ||
| Instead of realizing, no, man, a lot of people are thinking this shit right now. | ||
| A lot of people are. | ||
| A lot of people are willing to entertain all sorts of alternative ideas. | ||
| You'd be amazed. | ||
| And they're around you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like our boy Matt Staggs. | ||
| Staggs. | ||
| He's living down in, where is he, Mississippi or some shit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Tennessee, something like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which Nashville is in Tennessee. | ||
| Tennessee is awesome spots. | ||
| As does Mississippi. | ||
| But, you know, he doesn't want to fucking be there anymore. | ||
| Let's get out of there. | ||
| The internet. | ||
| The internet. | ||
| Well, I think Staggs is definitely on the precipice of some crazy shit happening, because he's definitely becoming a conduit for a lot of crazy ideas, and he always hooks me up with great guests. | ||
| Yeah, and he's running the Disinfo podcast, too. | ||
| Yeah, so that's happening. | ||
| I'm supposed to do that soon. | ||
| I have to get with him. | ||
| Yeah, we're living in a strange time of transition. | ||
| I'm really curious to see. | ||
| I think the whole Terrence McKenna 2012 thing, I always laughed. | ||
| I always thought it would be really cool if it was true. | ||
| But I'm way too stupid to really understand any of the science behind it, even if it's real or not, or the arguments behind it. | ||
| Like I saw the Watson disagreement, I think it was called, the Watson objection. | ||
| Watson objection was a mathematician who deciphered the time wave zero novelty theory and had his own objection to it. | ||
| They both lost me within the first paragraph. | ||
| I was like, I don't know what the fuck you're saying. | ||
| There's also less complex mathematical refutations to the theory. | ||
| And I've heard that just like, you know, leap year wasn't accounted for. | ||
| So 2012 happened some time ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So it's like, you know, again, but this is like people getting caught up in the surface level shit and trying to like, no, no, it's not going to happen on December 21st, 2012. But it's like, no, look what's happening around you. | ||
| I wonder if what they calculated when they calculated the Mayan calendars, besides, you know, the moons, rather the eclipse of the moon, eclipse of the sun, I wonder if they could calculate how long it would take For a culture to grow before it imploded. | ||
| I wonder if there's like just a set number. | ||
| Like a culture can only last. | ||
| It's like you can run and then you fall down. | ||
| And they figured that out a long time ago. | ||
| They're good for like these 10,000 year pulses or whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| No, there's a guy. | ||
| I bet if you googled extinction theorist right now, that's what he's called. | ||
| He's also the guy who's like into simulation theory too. | ||
| And he tries to answer that question while we haven't encountered alien species, and it is this notion that they implode in on themselves. | ||
| I can't remember. | ||
| It's on YouTube. | ||
| I wish I could remember his fucking name. | ||
| He's brilliant. | ||
| I put a clip of him on one of my podcasts, the same podcast that I was talking about. | ||
| The guy from the University of Maryland. | ||
| He was the one who was talking about the idea of vivisecting the human brain or slicing it into fucking thin layers to scan the neurology. | ||
| I've got no extinction theorist. | ||
| Shit, man. | ||
| I can't remember his fucking name. | ||
| He's brilliant. | ||
| There's evolutionary theory, of course. | ||
| But, um, last dinosaur, extinction theory. | ||
| No, if you look up simulation theory and, like, extinction theory, he, like, studies this shit. | ||
| It's a really weird, like, ways that we can, ways that our species could blink out. | ||
| Oh, so many ways. | ||
| Anyway. | ||
| What the fuck is his name, man? | ||
| He's goddamn brilliant. | ||
| Have you seen the impact of meteors, a meteor shower all over the world they discovered 12,000 years ago? | ||
| You told me about this shit and the sedimentary layers. | ||
| Yeah, they've done core samples and it's the same spot all over the globe. | ||
| And it's the same sort of shit that exists when you have nuclear bombs going off. | ||
| It makes like a glass. | ||
| The world got pelted by fucking giant chunks of rock that explode. | ||
| Think of the sound of that shit bursting through, breaking the fucking sound barrier as it goes rocketing down into the fucking earth. | ||
| Boom! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| That must have been fucked up, man. | ||
| I wonder if they had writing back then. | ||
| Because I don't know if we know that they had writing 12,000 years ago. | ||
| I know it all depended upon whether or not that event, that 12,000 year old event, was really the sort of mass extinction event that like Graham Hancock and a lot of people think might have happened to human culture, or humankind rather, the human species. | ||
| Because there's a lot of speculation about when is the oldest civilization. | ||
| They pretty much settle on Mesopotamia. | ||
| They settle on Sumer. | ||
| But the Sumerian text details a long-lost civilization, an older, advanced civilization. | ||
| They kind of all do. | ||
| They all talk about some dudes who existed before or really had it down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And Sumer was supposed to be like 6,000-ish years ago. | ||
| So imagine if that's what it was. | ||
| It's a 6,000-year trek from the time that they got pelted. | ||
| We can't even wrap our heads around how long that is. | ||
| That's so long ago, but yet nothing. | ||
| In the greater spectrum of the universe, nothing. | ||
| But in the idea of our lifetime, 6,000 years is a long fucking time ago. | ||
| And they talked about an old civilization, an old ancient civilization that existed that was wiped out. | ||
| The Epic of Gilgamesh, which is essentially very similar to the Noah's Ark story about cataclysmics. | ||
| The flood. | ||
| Yeah, floods. | ||
| Yeah, they probably experienced some fucking nutty shit, man. | ||
| Probably killed almost everybody. | ||
| That probably explains a lot of shit. | ||
| A lot of shit all over the world. | ||
| Like Gobekli Tepe, all these weird structures that they're fighting from pre-12,000 years. | ||
| Gobekli Temple is 14,000 years ago. | ||
| That means in Sumer, the really old shit in Sumer is like 6,000 plus years ago, 7,000 plus years ago. | ||
| This is double that. | ||
| So this is as old to Sumer as we are to Sumer. | ||
| As Sumer is to us. | ||
| That's fucked. | ||
| That's the distance. | ||
| That's so heavy. | ||
| The distance of people writing on clay tablets in scratches, in these little scratches, up and down and sideways, that was their whole language. | ||
| And the idea that they wrote of something from 7,000 years previous, maybe. | ||
| And that's what Gobekli Tepe shows. | ||
| It shows that there was a sophisticated civilization from 7,000 years prior to the people in Sumer and the people in Mesopotamia. | ||
| 7,000 years earlier they were making these 19 foot tall gigantic stone columns. | ||
| They were carved with animals that were carved in a relief so that like they stuck out, which is a really sophisticated method of carving. | ||
| You're not carving into the stone. | ||
| You're actually making a relief. | ||
| It sticks out. | ||
| So you chipped all the rest of the stone away to reveal this frog and to reveal this bird. | ||
| This is really sophisticated stuff. | ||
| It's hard for people to wrap their heads around it. | ||
| So when they start talking about hunter and gatherers from wearing skins around their dick, that these are the ones that built this? | ||
| Boy, I don't know. | ||
| You might have more evidence of the fact that there might have been some really super advanced cultures that got fucking pelted. | ||
| Just wiped out everybody. | ||
| No talking anymore. | ||
| Changed languages. | ||
| No fucking written shit. | ||
| The dark times. | ||
| The fucking road. | ||
| It was like the road. | ||
| Worse. | ||
| Nuclear ash falling down. | ||
| Just fucking decimation. | ||
| Well, by studying genetics, I believe that they've found several extinction events in the human genome, like they've isolated several events. | ||
| I don't understand the science behind this, so I really am talking like extremely deep out of my ass. | ||
| But I believe they've shown that when studying the DNA from different human beings of all over the world, they've concluded that there have been several times where the human species has gotten very low, as low as like a few thousand people. | ||
| And that, you know, we probably had a big number and then a much smaller number. | ||
| And it got as low as a few thousand people, and then we had to recover. | ||
| It's fucking amazing. | ||
| It's amazing what they found out just by studying genes, you know? | ||
| Well, isn't this kind of like one of the ideas of, like, the Freemasons or the Rosy Crucians or the secret societies is that the information from a very long time ago has been kept secret? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yes. | |
| And it's like, but they kind of work... | ||
| Signs to each other. | ||
| They work symbols into the architecture of society. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Which is that fucking crazy, goddamn... | ||
| If you look at the street configurations of Washington, D.C. Have you seen that shit where it's like an anatomically correct eyeball looking out over a pyramid just like the eye and the dollar bill? | ||
| I mean, come on, dude. | ||
| How would you describe that if I was going to Google that? | ||
| Masonic symbols in D.C. I don't know. | ||
| Washington, D.C. Masonic Washington, D.C. roads? | ||
| I guess? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm a little too stoned to Google. | ||
| I'm going to go with Masonic symbols in D.C. Yep, here it is. | ||
| Yeah, they have it laid out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I mean, that's like, you gotta really believe them. | ||
| They have a pentagram. | ||
| Yeah, there's a pentagram in there. | ||
| There's a fucking optic nerve. | ||
| That's so strange. | ||
| Yeah, there's an eye. | ||
| There's an optic nerve, an eye. | ||
| There's a pentagram. | ||
| It's real weird when you look at, like, the money, and you see the fucking all-seeing eye in a pyramid on, you know, the cap of the pyramid is the all-seeing eye. | ||
| Like, what are you saying, man? | ||
| I mean, look, man, printing it on money, okay, but how about putting it into the goddamn geography of the fucking capital of the country that you made... | ||
| Trying to embody the ideals that, you know, you knew. | ||
| And you've encoded into the fucking very patterns. | ||
| I mean, look, man, there's a goddamn monolith, the Washington Monument, an obelisk, an Egyptian fucking obelisk rising up out of our nation's capital. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Remember how the Egyptians helped with the Revolutionary War? | ||
| Oh yeah, they were there for us. | ||
| Yeah, they came over! | ||
| They provided us with... | ||
| What's even crazier is that Egypt at one point in time was thriving and then there was nothing there. | ||
| They showed up and the Sphinx was covered up to its neck. | ||
| Like during the age of Napoleon, when they first found it, it was like fucking everything was abandoned. | ||
| They'd already looted all these different tombs. | ||
| Who knows how much really incredible shit was melted down for gold baubles and shit when they didn't understand historical worth. | ||
| Well, I mean, dude, like, one thing that, like, over time, that time has proven again and again and again is that shit doesn't always work out great for the smart people with good ideas. | ||
| You end up getting thrown into basements by dumb people who are like, what the fuck are you talking about, Galileo? | ||
| They end up imprisoning you. | ||
| Sometimes they crucify you. | ||
| Sometimes they embarrass you. | ||
| Sometimes they take away your property. | ||
| So over time, really smart people were like, you know what? | ||
| Why don't we just fucking keep this shit to ourselves? | ||
| Well, you know, that's the theory behind mushrooms and the church. | ||
| That's the theory. | ||
| I mean, a lot of this was Jan Irvin's work and another dude who died who turned out to be a child molester. | ||
| But he did a lot of really good work with mushrooms, with the historical. | ||
| And he was writing a book with Jack Herrer when he got arrested for being a child molester, this guy. | ||
| It fucked up Jack Herrer because it fucked up the research. | ||
| And it really sort of invalidated in a lot of people's ideas, like this work that this guy had done. | ||
| But they have so many images and photos of ancient religious art that involved mushroom symbolism. | ||
| When you looked at it over and over and over again, you're like, oh my god, this is so obvious. | ||
| First of all, the halos? | ||
| The halos did not look like the Frisbee thing. | ||
| The hula hoop? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| They looked like a mushroom cap, and they were circular behind the person's head. | ||
| And the idea was to insinuate that that person, that holy person, was under the influence of God, under the influence of the mushrooms. | ||
| Yes, and that's totally believable and that makes a lot of sense. | ||
| Totally believable. | ||
| And the images of the doors, they're shaped like mushrooms. | ||
| Doorways are shaped like mushrooms. | ||
| Mushroom symbolism in so many different places. | ||
| And there were so many images of people in bliss, naked in bliss, covered in a mushroom. | ||
| They would be in a transparent mushroom. | ||
| These are like fucking ancient paintings, man. | ||
| Well, I mean, yeah, it's definitely like, we do know that they're encoded into the fucking framework of our society and the goddamn architecture of our society with some very odd symbols. | ||
| Like, if you look at the cathedrals, you will find Gnostic symbols. | ||
| Chicken gods, Abraxas, you can see Abraxas in some cathedrals. | ||
| What is a chicken god? | ||
| It's some Gnostic fucking god. | ||
| You can Wikipedia. | ||
| Abraxas. | ||
| It happens to be the same name of the company doing this goddamn trapwire shit, too. | ||
| No way. | ||
| Yeah, look up Abraxas. | ||
| Gnostic Abraxas. | ||
| A chicken-headed guy. | ||
| How do you spell it? | ||
|
unidentified
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A-B-R-A-X. Abraxas. | |
| Abraxas. | ||
| Gnostic. | ||
| Wikipedia. | ||
| For some reason, the creepiest goddamn information-gathering surveillance company that's ever climbed out of the shadows or been exposed happened to name themselves after a Gnostic God with a chicken head. | ||
| What the fuck, man? | ||
| Yeah, go figure. | ||
| A chicken god. | ||
| Wow, this thing is freaky looking. | ||
| Yeah, it's freaky looking. | ||
| And that's in cathedrals. | ||
| A lot of these symbols, the cathedrals were apparently... | ||
| I read this in... | ||
| I can't remember the name. | ||
| It's one of Graham Hancock's books that fucking Staggs sent me because he's trying to drive me insane. | ||
| But one of the... | ||
| But yeah, in this fucking book, it talks about how the cathedrals were like a nexus where... | ||
| It doesn't show it as a chicken, man. | ||
| It shows it as a man. | ||
| I've seen the one with the chicken. | ||
| It's definitely a chicken. | ||
| Oh, that's weird because this image is a man. | ||
| Look, Google Abraxas chicken. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Best Gnostic chicken in fucking Nashville. | ||
| It's a great name for a fucking chicken joint. | ||
| It is, man. | ||
| Abraxas chicken. | ||
| Chicken god? | ||
| Chicken god. | ||
| Yeah, just Abraxas chicken. | ||
| It's got chicken head. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| No. | ||
| I'm looking it on my phone. | ||
| I'm looking for chicken. | ||
| Abraxas. | ||
| It comes up right away. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| Abraxas, it comes up. | ||
| Do an image search. | ||
| But the chicken doesn't come up. | ||
| Do an image search. | ||
| Oh, yeah, and the images is one of them where it looks like a chicken. | ||
| It's a fucking chicken. | ||
| Well, it's crazy, though. | ||
| It's a chicken holding a... | ||
| A whip. | ||
| A mallet. | ||
| Yeah, what are those things? | ||
| A shield on one side? | ||
| Wow, what a fucking freak animal. | ||
| Yeah, it's freaky. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| And what year is this from? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| So they were high when they came out with that, right? | ||
| Yeah, there's no other... | ||
| A chicken with a shield? | ||
| Chicken god. | ||
| How are you getting a chicken? | ||
|
unidentified
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You're definitely baked if you're drawing a chicken with a shield! | |
| You're high as fuck with this chicken god. | ||
| Wow, there's all these crazy images of it where it looked like a harpy or something. | ||
| No, read the Wikipedia entry a little bit, because Gnostic shit's very strange. | ||
| Just read a little passage from there, because it's really odd. | ||
| It's real mysterious. | ||
| Abraxis. | ||
| Abraxis. | ||
| Far more common in the sources than the variant from Abraxas. | ||
| Oh, they're using Greek letters. | ||
| The word of mystic meaning in the system of the Gnostic basilides. | ||
| B-A-S-I-L-I-D-E-S Being there applied to the great Archon, A-R-C-R-N? Archon, one of the greatest C64 games. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Gnostic cosmology, blah, blah, blah, the seven letters spelling its name, represent each of the seven classic planets. | ||
| Wow, the words of its, the letters represent planets. | ||
| The sun, the moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn. |
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