Aug. 16, 2012 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:56:38
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| The Joe Rogan Association podcast is brought to you by... | ||
| What is wrong with you? | ||
| I was thinking... | ||
| My brain is crossing signals right now because I was thinking of radical feminist associations. | ||
| And it got brought up. | ||
| Sometimes I'm talking about something, and I've done it too many times, like the introduction to the podcast. | ||
| I go on full-on autopilot, so I don't really know what the fuck is coming out of my mouth until it comes out, and then my brain goes, wait, what? | ||
| So I went on full autopilot there. | ||
| I fucked it up. | ||
| The Joe Rogan Podcast is brought to you, this episode is actually brought to you by a guest sponsor, which is Audible.com. | ||
| And if you've ever gone to Audible.com, if you're into audiobooks, it's the shit. | ||
| It's a really amazing website. | ||
| If you go to Audible.com forward slash Joe, they, I don't know, what do they do? | ||
| They hook you up? | ||
| Yeah, you try it. | ||
| Okay, you can try it free for 30 days. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| And believe me, if you're a person who commutes, especially, I think one of the reasons why I was really into doing this is I think a lot of the people that listen to this podcast listen to it while they're commuting, or you listen to it when you're at the gym, or you listen to it when you're on a plane. | ||
| And what I consider places where you're stuck somewhere, or you would like something to entertain you. | ||
| And it's kind of a new... | ||
| Really an uncaptured form of entertainment. | ||
| For the longest time, all we had was radio and CDs in the cars. | ||
| But with podcasts and audiobooks, man, sometimes I don't want to park. | ||
| If I've got a badass audiobook on and I'm really into it, I don't want to fucking park my car. | ||
| I'll shut my phone off and I'll listen to a good story. | ||
| And so... | ||
| Audible, if you try it free for 30 days, I guarantee you're going to like it. | ||
| They have a tremendous selection of fiction and nonfiction. | ||
| And the one that I'm going to recommend, they wanted me to recommend one, is The War of Art by a guy named Steven Pressfield. | ||
| And it's a fucking amazing book that really changed my life and made me really understand the roadblocks to being creative and what people do, sort of set themselves up for failure. | ||
| They create little traps and problems in their creative life. | ||
| And this book really outlines that better than anything I've ever written. | ||
| And it's just, to me, one of the most inspirational books that I've ever read. | ||
| I haven't listened to the audio version of it, but I'm sure it's good. | ||
| All the audible ones are the shit. | ||
| It's a really great website, so check it out. | ||
| We're also brought to you by Onnit.com. | ||
| If you go to Onnit.com now, you'll see that we have hemp force protein powder in, which is fucking sensational. | ||
| It does not make you fart nearly as much as whey protein. | ||
| It's really easy to digest. | ||
| It's got maca and raw cocoa in it, and the maca is good for your endocrine system. | ||
| It's supposed to make your dick hard, allegedly. | ||
| It's never worked for me. | ||
| I've never eaten Macca and been like, fuck yeah, bitches. | ||
| But that's one of the things that's supposed to do. | ||
| It's supposed to increase your libido. | ||
| And raw cocoa is actually a very strong antioxidant. | ||
| And it's sweetened with stevia. | ||
| So it only has one gram of sugar per serving. | ||
| So it's very low sugar and it tastes fucking fantastic. | ||
| And it's really good for you. | ||
| It's called hemp force, protein powder. | ||
| And we also have kettlebells and battle ropes, along with all the nootropics that we push every week, like Alpha Brain, which I take before every podcast. | ||
| That's why I talk so much, bitch! | ||
| So what do you mix with this hemp stuff? | ||
| Do you just mix it with ice, or do you mix it with almond milk? | ||
| I use coconut water and a banana. | ||
| That's what I use. | ||
| And it's easy to digest. | ||
| And the vitamins? | ||
| Yeah, it's so easy to digest. | ||
| I don't feel like I even ate something. | ||
| I'm not hungry, but I don't feel like I ate something. | ||
| It's super easy. | ||
| Whereas I love, like, muscle milk, and there's a bunch of, like, protein powders that taste awesome. | ||
| They, like, taste like treats, like dessert. | ||
| But the shit just makes you fart like crazy. | ||
| It's all that whey and sugar, and your body's like, what are you doing? | ||
| Okay! | ||
| There's a good way to go about it and a bad way to go about it, and the hemp is the best way for me. | ||
| Plus, you get marijuana street cred, yo. | ||
| What I'm talking about? | ||
| Where'd you get these muscles from, son? | ||
| I'm going to get them shifts from weed, bitch. | ||
| And if you are interested in nootropics, I suggest that you Google the word nootropic and find out what the fuck it means. | ||
| Because if you're taking advice from a comedian that used to be the Fear Factor host on anything, I suggest you look deeper. | ||
| Nootropics are just vitamins. | ||
| They're vitamins that have been shown to have a positive effect on cognitive function. | ||
| Essentially, it helps your brain produce more neurotransmitters. | ||
| It's like the building blocks of nutrition that your brain needs to function at an optimal level. | ||
| And there's a lot of controversy behind the subject, but I've been a fan of nootropics for years. | ||
| I've been taking them for years and I absolutely feel the difference when I take them and when I don't. | ||
| As well as I feel the difference between when I eat really healthy and when I don't. | ||
| When I have like kale shakes for breakfast in the morning and eat like clean food and make sure I drink a lot of water. | ||
| I feel different than when I just got off a plane and I've been eating shitty food. | ||
| It's real obvious. | ||
| Take care of your body. | ||
| Get optimum results. | ||
| So you can be swole like me in Everlast. | ||
| Get yourself some kettlebells, bitch. | ||
| If you're interested in the kettlebells, we got them in sale. | ||
| All different sizes, all different packages. | ||
| Battle ropes as well. | ||
| What are battle ropes? | ||
| Son, you gotta learn. | ||
| You gotta learn about the battle ropes. | ||
| Crazy ropes you throw around like Conan the Barbarian. | ||
| You get one of them impressive physiques. | ||
| All of it is available at onnit.com. | ||
| So go check it out. | ||
| O-N-N-I-T. And use the code name ROGAN. You will save money. | ||
| 10% off any and all supplements. | ||
| And we also have a 100% money back guarantee on the supplements, especially for the first order, or essentially only, for the first order of 30 pills. | ||
| We let you try it. | ||
| And if you don't agree, you don't think that it's worth it, then you don't even have to send it back in to get your money back. | ||
| And I think that's important because I don't want anybody to feel ripped off. | ||
| I think the most important thing in selling anything is The most important thing is that you have to sell something of value and people have to appreciate it and enjoy it. | ||
| And if you're not doing that, if you're squeezing money out of people, I don't want to be involved. | ||
| There's nothing that we sell that isn't something that I use and enjoy and that I would recommend even if they didn't give me a nickel. | ||
| Just like I recommend C2O coconut water because it's this shit. | ||
| All right, that's it. | ||
| Cue the music. | ||
| Everlast is here, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| We're going to get deep. | ||
|
unidentified
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We're going to break it down for ourselves and for others. | |
| For the Feminist Radical Associations of America, Esquire. | ||
| Yeah, we were talking about feminism and feminists that are angry. | ||
| It's such a cliche, you know? | ||
| The angry feminist cliche is a funny one, you know? | ||
| It's like every man shakes his head and goes, oh Jesus, not one of those? | ||
| You know, it's a strange designation. | ||
| It's going to be rough on Twitter for you, dawg. | ||
| No. | ||
| They're like Bieber fans, man. | ||
| Yeah, but they need to relax. | ||
| We need to be humans, you know? | ||
| I think people completely misunderstood. | ||
| We had a podcast the other day, and I got a little shouty. | ||
| It's a very important issue for me about the idea of censorship. | ||
| Yeah, I'm familiar. | ||
| I know the whole story. | ||
| You know the Tosh story. | ||
| So for people who didn't know the Tosh story, Tosh, he said something to a woman in the crowd. | ||
| You know, just responding to, like, he's fucking around with the crowd. | ||
| Said something like, wouldn't it be funny if she got raped by five people? | ||
| What it was, someone said, you should joke about rape. | ||
| He goes on a rant about how rape, well, yeah, what's funny about rape in, like, all the things that aren't funny about rape. | ||
| And she goes, actually, rape is never funny. | ||
| So he goes, wouldn't it be funny if five guys raped her? | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| It's unfortunate. | ||
| And it's, you know, like, it's not the best kind of comedy. | ||
| You know, the best kind of comedy is there's no victims. | ||
| Everybody gets out clean. | ||
| I want to do all rape jokes, one set. | ||
| 15 minutes of rape jokes. | ||
| Look, rape is not funny, dude. | ||
| It's just, occasionally, it's the right thing to say. | ||
| You have to look at comedy as an equation. | ||
| What's the 10 move there? | ||
| I'll tell you what the 10 move is. | ||
| The 10 move is, wouldn't it be funny if somebody raped her? | ||
|
unidentified
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It's the KO punch. | |
| I'm a musician, and I feel like you've got to own your stage. | ||
| A comedian has to do it in a whole different way. | ||
| Like, literally, a comedian, if you're sensed weak, I mean, it's coming at you from all that. | ||
| So if you don't make that joke, if you don't show it, okay, here it is. | ||
| Here's why I really don't want to do it, but fine, here it is. | ||
| The question of whether he had the right to or not is the stupid question. | ||
| Of course he did. | ||
| It's in the environment of stand-up comedy. | ||
| And somehow or another, everybody has gotten so goddamn oversensitive. | ||
| Wasn't half of the jokes in Borat rape jokes? | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure, right? | ||
| As long as it's dudes getting raped, nobody cares. | ||
| Dudes can get raped all day. | ||
| Yeah, you could say, I'm going to rape you to any guy, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty much nothing. | ||
| I mean, it sucks if it happens, but... | ||
| You gave me permission. | ||
| But it is not the same. | ||
| And we don't approach it the same. | ||
| So we don't understand it the same. | ||
| So I think what they're asking for, if I understand the other side statement, is that they want a higher degree of sensitivity from people. | ||
| And I say that they're not related. | ||
| Because it's not about being sensitive. | ||
| It's about someone saying something absolutely preposterous for humor. | ||
| It's not about being sensitive. | ||
| In that environment, in the environment of stand-up comedy, That's an art form. | ||
| The only way to do it correctly is you gotta go balls out. | ||
| And what he did is he went balls out. | ||
| He said, wouldn't it be funny? | ||
| Isn't that kind of like the whole point of that whole aristocrat joke? | ||
| Who can be the craziest, stupidest, most outrageous, ridiculous, dumb thing? | ||
| Who can go there? | ||
| That joke's a style of comedy. | ||
| I mean, the idea of that joke, that really complete raunchy, like we had Dice Clay on the podcast yesterday, that over the top, that's like a legitimate art form. | ||
| And just because you don't like it doesn't mean you should get so fucking shitty about other people practicing that art form. | ||
| And when you step in and start saying things like, a guy shouldn't have said this certain thing to one certain person in the heat of a moment, I think that's craziness. | ||
| I think that's just straight fucking nonsense. | ||
| So all these people are getting upset at me and they get the wrong impression. | ||
| I'm for everybody being equal. | ||
| I'm a humanist. | ||
| I don't like women more than I like men, and I don't like men more than I like women. | ||
| I like nice people. | ||
| I like women better than I like men, just for the record. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a lot of them that are really pretty. | ||
| Look, what I'm trying to say is we should be humanists. | ||
| This idea of masculinists, that's fucking nonsense. | ||
| Can you imagine if I started putting in my Twitter profile that I was a radical masculinist? | ||
| Bitches would start attacking me. | ||
| They would think it would be fine to start attacking me. | ||
| They would just go, what do you have, a small penis? | ||
| I'm sorry about your penis not working. | ||
| Whatever it is, find fucking something. | ||
| Your insecurities, your fucking problems with your father. | ||
| I'm not here to deal with you. | ||
| They would find some reason to be mad at you. | ||
| Joe, if you had to live with one person for the rest of your life, everyone else died except a female or a male, which one would it be? | ||
| It would be a dude. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sorry, Mom. | ||
|
unidentified
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Wow. | |
| I don't know, man. | ||
| One other person in the whole world? | ||
| Yeah, you have to fucking be with one other person for the rest of your life. | ||
| No other people in the whole entire world. | ||
| Just a woman or a man. | ||
| And this is either, you know, George Clooney or the top-of-the-line female. | ||
| Well, it doesn't matter. | ||
| The top-of-the-line female. | ||
| What matters is her personality. | ||
| If you're going to deal with a lifelong proposition, the most important thing is that she's an easy-going person you can actually get along with. | ||
| So that would be the ideal move, is someone who would, you know, be down for fucking. | ||
| Stay together forever. | ||
| Joe, you're supposed to say your wife. | ||
| You're supposed to say that, but that's obvious. | ||
| I think you would have to really decide how much sex you wanted for the rest of your life. | ||
| Yeah, I think that's pretty important. | ||
| That's what it's really all about. | ||
| You only have one person. | ||
| I'm going to say my wife. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| You have to. | ||
| You have to, but it's so obvious. | ||
| It's so obvious you can't say it. | ||
| It's like one of those, well, I love my wife, Bob. | ||
| My wife. | ||
| The best one is, what's his face? | ||
| Groucho Marx had a talk show. | ||
| I think it was You Bet Your Life. | ||
| And a guy came on and said, where are you from, Bob? | ||
| And the guy's like, Cincinnati. | ||
| You have kids? | ||
| And he's like, I've got six kids. | ||
| And Groucho Marx goes, wow. | ||
| And he goes, well, I love my wife. | ||
| Groucho goes, I love my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth every now and then. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| For back then, that was like no one could believe what he said. | ||
| They're like, what the fuck? | ||
| What did you just say? | ||
| You went crazy. | ||
| You went crazy. | ||
| Groucho. | ||
| He was a bad motherfucker. | ||
| Is that the show where the bird with the secret word and all that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes, yes. | |
| Okay, I've seen that. | ||
| Groucho was such a bad motherfucker. | ||
| That dude was ahead of his time. | ||
| That dude was way ahead of his time. | ||
| Dudes did not get Groucho Marx. | ||
| He had to tone it down for those fools. | ||
| Dude duct taped down his mustache. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's so silly. | |
| What kind of weird shit was that? | ||
| Yeah, Groucho Marx was the shit. | ||
| He was a fucking smart dude, man. | ||
| See, the idea that the way that, you know, I think not joking about anything is silly. | ||
| The idea that you could tell a comedian that he can't joke about anything, especially when you absolutely know that they didn't mean that. | ||
| They absolutely don't mean that someone should get raped. | ||
| That's not what they... | ||
| Intent is supposed to be what language is conveying. | ||
| That's all it's supposed to be. | ||
| What is going on in my mind? | ||
| You're pretending that you don't understand the subtleties of the conversation. | ||
| You're playing stupid so that you can get angry. | ||
| And I think that is fucking maddening. | ||
| That shit drives me nuts. | ||
| They know no one really wants anybody to get raped. | ||
| So you're playing stupid. | ||
| You're pretending that it really does mean that, and it's contributing to a whole culture of people believing that. | ||
| Damn it, bitches. | ||
| Settle the fuck down. | ||
| Calm down, Dan. | ||
| Dan? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who's Dan? | ||
| This guy said I was going to rape at the beginning of the podcast. | ||
| See, why is that funny? | ||
| See, you didn't see, Joe, at the beginning of the podcast. | ||
| When I was on Audible, this thing came up in this chat room. | ||
| He's like, hi, I'm Dan from Audible, here to help you. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And I started texting him, and I'm sorry for what I said. | ||
| What did you say to him, man? | ||
| I said I was going to rape him. | ||
| Did you really say that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You did that while we were doing the podcast. | ||
| I feel bad because right when I did it, I was like, man, I'm too stoned. | ||
| That was a really bad idea. | ||
| So Dan, I did not mean it. | ||
| Yeah, what if Dan's listening, man? | ||
| It's like, that guy's an asshole. | ||
| Just made me feel uncomfortable. | ||
| And then we got a really dumb argument whether or not rape is worse than murder. | ||
| What's worse, rape or murder? | ||
| The whole thing was so stupid. | ||
| What do you think is worse? | ||
| Rape or murder? | ||
| Would you rather get raped or murdered? | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| It's such a stupid... | ||
|
unidentified
|
If you're raping me, I better already have been murdered. | |
| I'm looking at it like that. | ||
| Yeah, no shit, right? | ||
| Save the rape until after I've been murdered. | ||
| We gotta die eventually. | ||
| Maybe this is how we go. | ||
| I was raped, actually, just the other day, man. | ||
| I had my recent physical. | ||
| Oh, sucks. | ||
| Was it a ball or an ass? | ||
| It was horrible. | ||
| Isn't it weird that they have to dig in your body? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let me check your prostate. | |
| Let's see how freaky you're living. | ||
| I think it's 60. My dad said that when he turns 60, you have to get a tube in your penis hole just to check your penis hole. | ||
| Okay, remind me to check out before I'm 60. Well, I think they want to check to see if it's all swollen and fucked up in there. | ||
| That's why a lot of dudes have to go to the bathroom over 15 minutes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That shit ain't good. | ||
| Can't be fun. | ||
| Can't be fun. | ||
| They say that if you beat off, though, you could avoid a lot of that. | ||
| A lot of dudes just quit beating off. | ||
| They just tap out. | ||
| Who are these people? | ||
| For real. | ||
| Who are these people not beating off? | ||
| By the way, that is not a scientific diagnosis. | ||
| People are like, I hate when he spelt pseudoscience. | ||
| I'm not saying that that's a fact. | ||
| But that is what I read on the internet. | ||
| I'm sure that was written. | ||
| It was in a sentence. | ||
| I absorbed it. | ||
| And I said, alright. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| They believe that one way to stop prostate problems is masturbation. | ||
| Enlargement of the prostate. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| So dudes who beat off a lot, they don't have that problem with holding in their pee. | ||
| So if you see a guy peeing all the time and keeps getting up, he's either doing coke. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Put the sneaky pouch away. | ||
| Or go jerk one off. | ||
| The sneaky pouch, man. | ||
| The sneaky pouch? | ||
| Gotta sneak off with the sneaky pouch. | ||
| Is that a flashlight? | ||
| Is that what you call it? | ||
| Like a sneaky pouch? | ||
| No, a little pouch of cocaine. | ||
| Oh, a sneaky pouch. | ||
| You take the homie's cocaine and you go to the bathroom and it comes back a little lighter than it went in. | ||
| Now you have your own sneaky pouch. | ||
| Isn't that a weird thing when you... | ||
| Have you ever been at a party and you know there's one dude who has just enough coke for himself, so he's trying to sneak off and do it, but he doesn't want anybody to know. | ||
| And everybody's like, is this motherfucker on coke? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| Joey Diaz gets so fucking mad if he finds out that you did like... | ||
| I don't want to say his name, but someone did it to him at his apartment. | ||
| And he was trying to pretend he wasn't doing coke. | ||
| He goes, you're going in my fucking bathroom. | ||
| You're coming out all geeked out. | ||
| You're not offering me none. | ||
| It's a weird thing when people want to sneak off and do their drug in quiet. | ||
| That's when I knew it was bad news. | ||
| Luckily, I always had a little bit of that heart issue, too, so I never really got deep and involved into any of it. | ||
| I never fucked with that. | ||
| A few times when I was really young, and then it was like, oh, I got a problem? | ||
| Okay, it would probably be a good idea to stay away from coke and meth. | ||
| It seems like everybody that gets into it, though, really enjoys the shit out of it. | ||
| I mean, it must be doing something really wild while it's happening because they can't wait to do it again. | ||
| Fucking terrible for you, though. | ||
| I'll never forget this. | ||
| I was on the highway, headed back from Kelly's Roast Beef. | ||
| I know I've told this story before, but I'm going to tell it again. | ||
| And this is what I remember of cocaine. | ||
| There was a car that was right next to us, and the dome light was on. | ||
| And there was some people moving around in the backseat. | ||
| And as we're driving up to them, I look over, and it's a girl doing coke, and she looks at me, and she goes, Fuck you! | ||
| Wow! | ||
| And that, to me, in my mind, was coke. | ||
| It was coke. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Like, some girl is, like, screaming, fuck you, and sticking her finger at me. | ||
| And I'm in the other car. | ||
| I didn't say a word. | ||
| I didn't respond. | ||
| I just looked at her and went, wow. | ||
| Fuck that drug. | ||
| Man, last time I did Coke, it was maybe seven years ago. | ||
| And the good part about Coke is that it's just women love it. | ||
| And so, like, I said to, like, one girl, like, oh, I got some Coke. | ||
| You want to go to the bathroom and do it? | ||
| We were at this party. | ||
| And she brought, like, seven of the hottest girls. | ||
| And we just pretty much sat in the bathroom. | ||
| These girls just, like, fucking, like, going to the bathroom in front of me and just... | ||
| We're doing coke with these seven girls. | ||
| What if they all started blowing you? | ||
| Would that be the greatest day of your life? | ||
| That would have been a good part of the story. | ||
| But then would you be sad that you did coke and then you couldn't get it up? | ||
| No. | ||
| I've never had a problem. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I said this the other day. | ||
| I never had a problem with ever getting a boner on any kind of drug. | ||
| That's a lie, actually. | ||
| The one time I couldn't do it was on ecstasy, at the peak of ecstasy. | ||
| Do you have a really small penis that just fires up at any moment because it takes a lot to load it? | ||
| No. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| No. | ||
| It just takes one tear drop. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you remember? | |
| Instantly hard from one little tear. | ||
| Do you remember those old John Holmes movies where homie couldn't get it up? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you remember that? | |
| No, I never watched. | ||
| Most of the John Holmes movies where he's always dealing with a half rubber snake because his dick was huge. | ||
| It took a lot to get his dick hard and those guys were all on coke. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like, if you talk to the people, like, that were, you know, doing porn back in the day, those guys were all gacked out of their mind, and they were trying to fuck on camera. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, and it's, if you watch, like, the old porn, like, I did Dave Attell as a show, Dave's Old Porn. | ||
| Right, right, I've seen it. | ||
| And if you sit there and watch the old porn, a lot of times, dude had hard-on problems. | ||
| The dudes are like, dude, they have all these hot chicks blowing them and sucking on his dick, and there was nothing happening. | ||
| You're like, this must be, for that guy, the most frustrating video. | ||
| Like, how... | ||
| Do you imagine if there was all this video of you where someone's just sucking your completely limp dick on camera with his three hot chicks and his lights and cameras and guys are standing there and you just can't get up. | ||
| Yeah, I couldn't do it in front of all those people. | ||
| I think that would be the worst part, having just, like, the camera guys and stuff like that. | ||
| You have to be a sociopath, maybe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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Or... | |
| Yeah, that'd be rough. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't know if I can deal with it. | ||
| I thought one of the most fascinating chapters in porn was when Tara Patrick married that dude from the... | ||
| What band was that he was in? | ||
| Biohazard or something like that. | ||
| And then the dude started doing porn with her. | ||
| I was like, wow. | ||
| That's kind of a... | ||
| Shit, I'm in that book. | ||
| Are you in this book? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, what are you in? | |
| Oh, she just talks about me. | ||
| Did you have a... | ||
| Well, let's not go to all TMZ. No. | ||
| Read the book. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's a great book, actually. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| Yeah, I read it. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| You really read a book? | ||
| I really did. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| That's the book you read. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| That's the book I read. | ||
| That's why I can't remember Everlast being in here. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| It's brief. | ||
| It was right before who you're talking about. | ||
| Everlast's huge cock went right into my butt. | ||
| Do you think that you could ever do that? | ||
| You couldn't do that. | ||
| What? | ||
| Do you think you could do that? | ||
| What that dude did? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Just start doing porn with her? | ||
| No. | ||
| She's so ridiculously hot, though. | ||
| She is hot. | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| She was in a video of mine, and we met, and I would see her after midnight of a bunch. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And, you know, that was about it. | ||
| I bet that's awesome. | ||
| She looks hotter now that she's had a baby, I think. | ||
| Like, her body is insane now. | ||
| She's got, like, just more curves or something. | ||
| She's just amazing. | ||
| Dude, she's hot as fuck. | ||
| She's hot as fuck. | ||
| Thumbs up to you, sir. | ||
| Son of a bitch. | ||
| You son of a B! A long time ago. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| She's a nice person. | ||
| I met her. | ||
| She's very cool. | ||
| But anyway, this dude just looked out and started doing porn with her. | ||
| Like, that's kind of a nutty move, man. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Hey, watch me fuck my wife. | ||
| There's something creepy about that, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, the story in the book is... | ||
| I was kind of fucking around with that broad. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| You know, I guess she took it more serious than I did. | ||
| My wife read the book. | ||
| Uh-oh. | ||
| So, no, she was like, everything you said is what she said. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, that's good. | ||
| It was just basically, I mean, it was like, you know, booty call basically situation, but I guess on her end it was not, you know, I was more than that or something. | ||
| You're a special dude, man. | ||
| You know, whatever. | ||
| But I get a call on a Sunday morning, and it's dude, Evan, who I've known for years before that, woke me up to declare his love for her. | ||
| And I was like, wow, whatever, whatever. | ||
| I hung up the phone, and I called him back because he woke me up. | ||
| I was like, it's Sunday morning. | ||
| I was like, you just call me and declare love for your porn girlfriend right now. | ||
| I was like, it's corny as hell, dawg. | ||
| It's in the book, man. | ||
| My wife read it. | ||
| She told me everything I said is in there. | ||
| It's corny as hell. | ||
| I was like, that's pretty fucking corny, dude. | ||
| That is pretty corny. | ||
| That is pretty corny. | ||
| That was the end of that. | ||
| Well, I guess, though, you would want to do that if, like, dude was your friend. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah, it was Sunday morning. | ||
| I was more mad about it. | ||
| You fucking woke me up on a Sunday morning? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Lord's death. | ||
| Yeah, when you fuck on camera, isn't it funny, like, automatically you become, like, if that's your choice, automatically you become, like, you never, it's like a caste system in society. | ||
| That's like, that's a fuck up you never really get over. | ||
| You always used to be a porn queen, you know? | ||
| My wife was a nude model. | ||
| That's a big difference. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, she never did no triple X. Yeah, it's once people watch you fuck. | |
| You can see your body. | ||
| That's all well and no problems. | ||
| Yeah, I got no problem with it. | ||
| It's people watching people fuck. | ||
| It's strange. | ||
| And I've always tried to figure out why. | ||
| It's real weird. | ||
| My thing would be mostly, I couldn't wife nobody if I had a son with. | ||
| And 16 years later, when God knows how available all that shit is going to be, it's so easy now to find porn. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Your kid shows up to you at 12 or whatever. | ||
| Like, why are all my friends pointing at me showing me pictures of my mom sucking dick? | ||
| I mean, that'd be just too... | ||
| I couldn't handle that. | ||
| Yeah, that would be hard to deal with, for sure. | ||
| But my real question is, it's really, why are we so weird about our bodies and sex when it's the thing that most people are looking forward to the most? | ||
| At least most dudes are looking forward to. | ||
| More than anything, most of the motivation of most men is to try to get the most amount of pussy possible, or the best pussy, or the best wife, the best girlfriend. | ||
| They want to be a bad motherfucker in order to do well with that. | ||
| That's a weird desire when you really stop and think about it, how much it consumes And then you get to be around 40 and you start thinking about other shit. | ||
| Yeah, but what's crazy is that it's like... | ||
| Unless you got married at like 20 or something, those are the people that... | ||
| Really freak out when they're at 40. That's why everything's falling apart in the middle of your life. | ||
| You have too many questions that are unanswered. | ||
| Yeah, they didn't sow their oats enough. | ||
| I answered, I'd say 99.9% of any questions I had on those levels, I answered. | ||
| But my question is, why is it so weird to watch people fuck? | ||
| If everybody wants to fuck... | ||
| Why is it so weird? | ||
| It's way weirder here than it is anywhere else in the world. | ||
| That's all our hang-ups that we've been hammered in. | ||
| The whole golden age of the 50s and the modern family and all that have been hammered into our brains. | ||
| Sex is dirty and rotten. | ||
| Not rotten, but dirty and nasty and should be conducted behind closed doors and not talked about at all. | ||
| And only for fornication. | ||
| Only to create children. | ||
| It's that old school. | ||
| We still come from the generation that really believed that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, when they first landed here, I guess that's what fucked the whole thing up. | ||
| It's how many religious freaks made the journey because they were being religiously persecuted in England. | ||
| Which England is not nearly as religious on the whole as America is. | ||
| So when the Puritans came here... | ||
| I guess a lot of that shit stuck. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| I mean, Puritans was the name because they were hardcore. | ||
| What a bunch of nuts. | ||
| So-called living a puritanical lifestyle. | ||
| Does that make sense? | ||
| That's why in 2012 we're still hung up? | ||
| Is it really because of that? | ||
| That it was formed by those people? | ||
| No, but then all this, you know, I'm sure there's been many people that have reinforced the psychology for their own benefits and, you know... | ||
| Yeah, I wonder, with all these cell phones now, by the time kids get to be, like, babies of today, get to be grown women and grown men... | ||
| We're going to have like... | ||
| There's going to be everybody... | ||
| You're probably going to be able to access people's memories. | ||
| You're probably going to be able to watch porn in some sort of a fucking three-dimensional virtual reality where goggles you put on and you live the scene. | ||
| People are going to make their own and you're going to be able to find people fucking. | ||
| We're going to have real problems. | ||
| There's going to be no privacy. | ||
| Yeah, it's getting there. | ||
| And when that comes... | ||
| I mean, I got my little Mac laptop. | ||
| I keep a sticker over that camera, dog, whether I'm using it or not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you? | |
| That's a good idea. | ||
| I ain't fucking around, man. | ||
| I believe that, yo, somebody could turn that motherfucker on and just start watching you. | ||
| And there's hundreds of hours of you beating off. | ||
| Especially the cell phones and the microphone on your phone. | ||
| I'm sure there's somebody that could just sit there and be like, turn on camera, turn on microphone. | ||
| What's going on right now? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| And if they haven't done it yet, they're probably going to do it. | ||
| I bet they have. | ||
| Yeah, probably. | ||
| You just got a lot of me beaten off. | ||
| That's all you got. | ||
| Good luck with that, you creep. | ||
| You want to release that, you creeper? | ||
| We're so strange because we wear clothes, you know? | ||
| I think we would have a totally different attitude if we were naked all the time. | ||
| Well, let's try it out. | ||
| Come on, guys. | ||
| But it's just a weird thing. | ||
| We've evolved. | ||
| What kind of a fucking animal evolves to the point where you could barely exist in the world without being covered by something? | ||
| Barely. | ||
| If you just walk around naked everywhere, dude, you're going to get fucked up. | ||
| You're not going to make it through that. | ||
| You're going to get sunburned. | ||
| Your skin is weak as shit. | ||
| You're going to get bit by things. | ||
| You'll get all infected and fucked up. | ||
| It tears easy. | ||
| You might bleed to death. | ||
| What was that survival show recently where they had the two guys that were survivalists but they were kind of opposite spectrum dudes? | ||
| One was a total fucking hippie dude. | ||
| One was like a marine. | ||
| Yeah, dual survivors. | ||
| The hippie dude never wore shoes, and he only wore shorts and a tank top, and that's how he did his thing. | ||
| I mean, I think you could re-adapt back to being able to live like that, but it wouldn't be no instantaneous move. | ||
| But it would suck. | ||
| It would suck bad. | ||
| It would suck hard. | ||
| There's no fun in looking for bugs to eat while you're walking barefoot in the jungle. | ||
| Yeah, man, your feet will start hurting quick, man, because shoes are nice. | ||
| It is nice that they would know how to survive if the shit hit the fan. | ||
| But if the shit hits the fan, what are the odds of you living? | ||
| What are the odds of you living? | ||
| If the shit really hits the fan, I mean, you're talking about extinction events, you're talking about the real potential events, things that have happened unquestionably documented all throughout history. | ||
| They've found super volcanoes and All sorts of fucking meteor impacts. | ||
| And there's all these records of them they're discovering just now, like 12,000 years ago. | ||
| They know there was a huge meteor shower that hit the world because this impact glass exists on the same strata, like when they dig and make core samples. | ||
| It exists in the same area all throughout the world about 12,000 years ago. | ||
| They got fucked up 12,000 years ago. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Giant fucking asteroids coming through the sky, millions of people dead probably. | ||
| I think if that kind of shit happens, you're lucky if you get whacked. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| You want to be running around eating people's dogs? | ||
| You want to be running around trying to purify people's sewage? | ||
| I'd trip on the fact that it wouldn't even take something that crazy. | ||
| I keep telling people, let the lights go out. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Let the power just shut down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Last time I was here, I think it happened. | ||
| I was like, oh, that might be it, man. | ||
| I might have to make a run for the guns right now, dog. | ||
| I have a whole joke about how little we know about the power, but how much we need it. | ||
| I mean, it's so important. | ||
| No one even thinks about the fact there's essentially a force of nature that pulses through your fucking house all day. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I was in New York City when that big East Coast blackout happened, man. | ||
| That was, like, crazy, like, tension because, you know, the whole city thought it was something, you know, the next wave of whatever was coming at them. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| Because you don't get no news. | ||
| I mean, I walked around New York, I remember, just because we knew. | ||
| I remember what happened when I plugged something in my hotel room, something plugged into the wall. | ||
| A few seconds later, the power went out. | ||
| I was like, oh, did I overload my room or something? | ||
| And then I go out in the hall and it's out. | ||
| Going downstairs, I realized the whole freaking city's out. | ||
| We went to Times Square just to look at everything that was out. | ||
| It was crazy, man. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That would be crazy. | ||
| And then work let out. | ||
| The streets were just flooded with people. | ||
| But the funniest thing to me was instantly, dudes were outside of their little bodegas selling bottles of water for three times what they cost. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Like, hey, $7 for a bottle of Evian here. | ||
| Really? | ||
| You know, like this. | ||
| Oh, yeah, man. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| And then there's the other half. | ||
| Then you walk up the street and you see the dude who's just directing traffic because nobody else is. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It was crazy, man. | ||
| It was a wild day. | ||
| Yeah, some dudes look forward to shit like that so they can stay in the street and just tell cars where to go. | ||
| That's cool that people didn't go crazy to that because that would be my fear that everyone would just be like... | ||
| Nah, it was a pretty... | ||
| That's more of an L.A. move. | ||
| It was a pretty... | ||
| I mean, there was tension. | ||
| Like, what happened? | ||
| Everybody was asking, what happened? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| Every once in a while, somebody's cell phone will work. | ||
| But I remember thinking, that was the day I realized, all that has to happen is the lights go out. | ||
| And then you'd walk down the street to the deli that starts selling the food for almost half off because it's spoiling. | ||
| The stuff that's in the fridge. | ||
| Anything in the fridge, come on, take it, please. | ||
| But yet charging seven bucks for water. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| The whole idea of cities is a strange thing. | ||
| People's mentalities would break down quick, Joe. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It would get tribal. | ||
| It would get Lord of the Flies real quick. | ||
| Real quick. | ||
| The only way cities work is if there's power gone. | ||
| Because if not, then it becomes a detriment. | ||
| Then it becomes way too many people and no resources. | ||
| When you're in the country, at least you can go fishing. | ||
| You know, you're in a city. | ||
| Where are you going to get your food? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Where's the food, man? | ||
| There ain't no food coming in. | ||
| And it's instant. | ||
| It goes away. | ||
| Because really, it needs to be, like, pushed in constantly. | ||
| We got this weird, crazy anthill sort of situation going. | ||
| We need to fill that motherfucker up with something we can digest to keep moving. | ||
| Cities are strange. | ||
| So if you were an alien... | ||
| And then, what about when nobody's picking up the trash every day? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| So you got both angles going on at the same time pretty soon. | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| Insane. | ||
| I was there in Harlem when there was some sort of a strike with the garbage men. | ||
| So they didn't pick up for a long time, dude. | ||
| And there was, and I'm not bullshitting, seven, eight, nine foot high stacks of garbage bags on the street. | ||
| So you would have a narrow area to walk and to the left would be nine foot high garbage For like a fucking half a block. | ||
| It was insane. | ||
| And rats were everywhere. | ||
| Big, fat, juicy rats running everywhere. | ||
| And you're like, whoa, people are living around this? | ||
| Like, this is insane. | ||
| That's right underneath. | ||
| That's going on, pulsing underneath it the whole time. | ||
| Has that ever happened on the Upper East Side or the Upper West Side? | ||
| Have they ever had a garbage strike? | ||
| I've never even heard of that. | ||
| I think in the 70s or something, there was a city-wide one that was pretty famous. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I don't know when this was. | ||
| I don't know what was causing them to not pick up the garbage. | ||
| I don't know what it was, but it was somewhere in the 1990s, the early 90s, like maybe 90 or 91. I vaguely remember something about it. | ||
| But it was crazy. | ||
| I couldn't believe it. | ||
| I was like, what the fuck? | ||
| You would want to get out of here as quick as possible if some shit went down. | ||
| This is the worst place to be. | ||
| It's crazy, man. | ||
| How the fuck did it get like that, where everybody's stacked on top of each other? | ||
| Just keep going straight up. | ||
| If you listen to the internets and the whole Illuminatis and all that, we're all in the perfect area for them to just wipe us all out. | ||
| It's like nobody lives in the country anymore. | ||
| Have a rich people go to the country day. | ||
| I've never understood the whole... | ||
| Hey, all the rich people go to the country. | ||
| Hamptons Day. | ||
| I've never understood the whole rich people wanting to wipe people out thing. | ||
| I've always felt like if you were a rich person, you would need people to buy your stuff, whatever you're selling. | ||
| You need people for resources. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| If you kill people, where are you going to make your money? | ||
| That doesn't seem to make any sense. | ||
| It doesn't seem like a good Illuminati movie. | ||
| I also saw a stat recently that was like, You know, how they say the world's overcrowded and whatnot, or overpopulated. | ||
| And I could be tripping, but I'm pretty sure I saw a stat somewhere that said all the people in the world would fit in the state of Texas. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like elbow room. | ||
| Like, you know, we'd all be able to stand in the state of Texas, like all the people on the planet right now. | ||
| I don't know how crazy that is, but I know I saw it somewhere. | ||
| Well, if you look at us and compare it to any other animal, we've populated really every single part of the world. | ||
| We've figured out a way to not just get there. | ||
| No, but look at America, though. | ||
| It's really like West Coast, a gang of people. | ||
| East Coast, a whole gang of people. | ||
| And in the middle, you know, come on. | ||
| We tour for a living, dog. | ||
| I mean, I'm not saying there's not people. | ||
| But it's much more relaxed. | ||
| Yes, and it's a whole different kind of life. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like I've always found it going five years backwards. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| Like, when you step out of the East or West Coast. | ||
| Just, you know, not in a disrespectful way. | ||
| I'm just saying it's like, they're not as anxious and quick to be on the, you know, it's like, no, we like what's going on. | ||
| We'll slowly make moves on the things we like kind of thing. | ||
| Denver's one of my favorite cities because Denver is like part city and part country. | ||
| It's part, like, mountain people. | ||
| It's like a big community of mountain people. | ||
| Yeah, it's all the mountain people that got halfway and said, you know what? | ||
| This is good enough. | ||
| We're good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're good. | |
| We got some strong weed. | ||
| We got some mountains. | ||
| This is good right here. | ||
| Bobby just killed an elk. | ||
| Yeah, we're good. | ||
| Let's wait here. | ||
| Why are we fucking around? | ||
| Do you see how many elk are out here? | ||
| We're waiting for an ocean. | ||
| This is a good spot, man. | ||
| I see mountains. | ||
| I don't even see an ocean. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm a big fan of the ocean. | ||
| I love looking at it, but it can't fuck with the mountains. | ||
| The mountains are some crazy shit. | ||
| You take mountains before ocean? | ||
| All day, son. | ||
| All day. | ||
| Have you ever been to Evergreen, Colorado? | ||
| Mountains with a lake? | ||
| Mountains with a lake. | ||
| In the last few years, I've played at a couple festivals in Switzerland. | ||
| One called Montreux Jazz Festival is pretty famous. | ||
| And then this other one called the Blue Boss Festival. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| But it's in a place called Luzerne, man. | ||
| And they're both on lakes. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| I could live there easily. | ||
| Every time I'm there, I'm like, yo, I need some stuff. | ||
| I need to be balling out of control with a private jet and some of them Swiss francs, man. | ||
| I need to be over in Switzerland doing it. | ||
| The problem is, man, to make that kind of money, unless you're an entertainer, someone's getting fucked over. | ||
| Unless you're an entertainer or you're selling something really cool. | ||
| That's why everybody's hiding their money, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's why I say keep it pretty. | ||
| Yeah, hide it in the Cayman Islands. | ||
| They don't let you come in there and fuck around. | ||
| Joe, your old place, remember when I used to say it, it looked like a trapper keeper. | ||
| You remember those things you would have in school that you put your notebooks in? | ||
| They would have always a beautiful picture of a mountain and a scenic lake and stuff like that. | ||
| That's what your house looked like. | ||
| Oh, the Colorado place? | ||
| Yeah, it was ridiculous. | ||
| It was unbelievably beautiful. | ||
| You'd look out the back window and you'd go, I can't believe they let me stay here. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| I can't believe people are allowed to be here. | ||
| It was just too silly. | ||
| You're in the mountains, like literally in the mountains. | ||
| But you're around there with everything. | ||
| You're seeing porcupines every day and deer all day. | ||
| All day. | ||
| I was getting deer back here up in the hills. | ||
| Really? | ||
| All day, up and down. | ||
| Yeah, Pasadena has bears, man. | ||
| They had bears jumping into people's swimming pools recently. | ||
| See, I always like to live somewhere, because we were talking about craziness, man. | ||
| I like to live places that have resources, other than like, okay, well, if things went really bad, I can walk right out of my backyard, march down that mountain, and go find me a... | ||
| A deer, yeah. | ||
| Something, you know? | ||
| Well, I've always said Ted Nugent is living the best. | ||
| You know what he does? | ||
| He has a high-fence place where he has, like, thousands of acres and they're all fenced in. | ||
| And he's essentially got wild game running around his whole fucking giant ranch. | ||
| And he just sets up stands. | ||
| He's got, like, feeders so they know where the animals are going to come. | ||
| And it's essentially shooting fish in a bucket. | ||
| And he has to shoot a certain amount of them just to manage it. | ||
| Because it's got a certain amount of land. | ||
| You have to monitor how many sheep you have, how many deer you have. | ||
| But that is way healthier and way smarter than going to a fucking supermarket. | ||
| I mean, he gets to see the animal before he shoots it. | ||
| He does all the butchering himself. | ||
| He makes the cuts of meat. | ||
| He grows his vegetables. | ||
| This dude doesn't need shit. | ||
| That's really the way to go. | ||
| He's got guns. | ||
| He's got guns and he doesn't need shit. | ||
| He can eat from his yard. | ||
| And if the bullets run out, he got bows and arrows. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| He uses the bows and arrows more than he uses the guns. | ||
| He's always bow hunting, man. | ||
| The nuge. | ||
| Yeah, he's a crazy fuck when it comes to war. | ||
| But I'll tell you what, when it comes to living your life sustainably, that motherfucker's got it nailed. | ||
| When it comes to, he's right about hunting. | ||
| People are crazy to think that hunting is bad. | ||
| Because you either want one of two things. | ||
| You either want hunting or you want to be hunted. | ||
| Because that's the only way you keep the deer population down. | ||
| You have one of two options. | ||
| Either you're going to hunt the deer or you're going to put mountain lions out there that eat deer. | ||
| And anything that eats deer can eat you, motherfucker. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And eat you a lot easier than it is to eat a deer. | ||
| Every once in a while you'd hear about it back here. | ||
| Like, oh, there was a little... | ||
|
unidentified
|
People that don't want hunting. | |
| A little medium-sized dog getting snatched out of a backyard by a mountain lion. | ||
| Check out those. | ||
| Pasadena Bears. | ||
| For the folks at home, these are the gay bears. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| It's a term for gay dudes who are hairy who fuck each other. | ||
| It's like a lot of Bert Kreischer's everywhere. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That is the Google search. | |
| It's really Bert if you did roids. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like a hairy Bert. | ||
| Well, you're pretty fucking hairy too, mister. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Yeah, you'd make a good bear. | ||
| If you got on sauce and started doing some heavy squats, you'd be a good bear. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I would be. | ||
| So a bear and her cubs were drinking out of some lady's pool recently. | ||
| I saw that on the news. | ||
| Crazy, huh? | ||
| This is, you know, Pasadena is only an hour, not even an hour, an hour from Arrowhead. | ||
| Arrowhead is, you know... | ||
| Yeah, it's right down there. | ||
| It's like 40 minutes away, 45 minutes away? | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| Which is legit wilderness. | ||
| I mean, that is... | ||
| Well, I mean, there's Pasadena and then there's Altadena, which is obviously the hills above Pasadena. | ||
| And then beyond that is just wild mountains. | ||
| Wild mountains. | ||
| So the minute you step two miles from here, you're in the woods. | ||
| Yeah, it's true. | ||
| Yeah, this is a different sort of area, Pasadena is, than the rest of LA. They say that what Pasadena was was in the 20s. | ||
| Like a resort town. | ||
| There was a railroad that went up to Altadena and all these rich folks had their little sort of like Hampton thing going on up there. | ||
| What is the atmosphere like now? | ||
| Because Pasadena has more crime now than I think it's ever had before. | ||
| Altadena is like the Beverly Hills of Pasadena. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| The crazy thing is there's always a lot of movies getting shot because none of the houses are the same. | ||
| They're like Spanish style next to a colonial style. | ||
| So they can make it look like anywhere in America. | ||
| So it's all older houses from Hollywood people that made them? | ||
| How did they get melt out here? | ||
| What they were telling me was that Pasadena was where the studio producers and people would live, where the actors would live in the Hollywood Hills. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, Altadena is what I'm talking about. | ||
| In the 20s, I believe it was. | ||
| In the 20s and 30s, it was like a little resort area. | ||
| You can see some of those houses that are for sale online in Altadena. | ||
| They've got some really old houses. | ||
| Turn of the century houses. | ||
| It's crazy shit, man. | ||
| It's a good area, man. | ||
| Yeah, I love the idea of living right next to animals. | ||
| Peacocks and deer. | ||
| Was it Altadena where the lady had the mountain lion sitting in her front driveway? | ||
|
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Probably. | |
| And she was taking pictures of it? | ||
| It might have been Altadena. | ||
| I think it was. | ||
| Yeah, it was really recently. | ||
| If it wasn't Altadena, it was real close to that. | ||
| With some ladies in her fucking driveway and there's a mountain lion just lying there. | ||
| Just chilling. | ||
| Yeah, I think I saw that. | ||
| Just enjoying himself. | ||
| Just chilling. | ||
| I've been gone most of the summer, though. | ||
| Do you ever think about living anywhere else, like any other part of the country? | ||
| I like Nashville. | ||
| Nashville's great. | ||
| You drive 10 minutes anywhere outside of downtown and you're in the country. | ||
| You're in the country. | ||
| You can go out your back door and shoot stuff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can shoot your guns. | ||
| I went and sat with this one cat and was playing guitar with him one night because he had a little something for me to partake of. | ||
| So we were playing guitar together and he was like, we can go outside and shoot some guns. | ||
| He was renting a place and told me it was for sale and it was like 25 acres. | ||
| And like, you know, a house and all this. | ||
| Three, two barns. | ||
| And I was like, how much? | ||
| He was like, oh, like six. | ||
| And I was like, and my brain was like six million. | ||
| I was like, yeah, wow, six million. | ||
| I was like, man, that's a pretty good price. | ||
| He was like, nah, man, like six hundred thousand. | ||
| I was like, are you shitting me? | ||
| I was like, yo, man, I might have to do that one day. | ||
| Just get an extra house. | ||
| Grab me a spot out there. | ||
| Grab a ranch, man. | ||
| Yeah, man, for sure. | ||
| You know what else is great? | ||
| Asheville, North Carolina. | ||
| You ever been up there? | ||
| I don't know if I've been particularly there. | ||
| I've been to North Carolina many times. | ||
| I've only looked at it online, but apparently it's like this really cool spot in the mountains where it's a small population, a lot of stoners. | ||
| A lot of musicians and really cool people, and they're living in one of the most picturesque parts of the world. | ||
| Like the mountains, like the Asheville, North Carolina, that whole area. | ||
| Asheville, I'm going to have to check it out. | ||
| Look at it online. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| Just lakes and trees and shit. | ||
| Same kind of property. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah, man. | ||
| Sure, Asheville itself, it's probably... | ||
| A little more expensive. | ||
| But outside of it, man, you can get giant chunks of land, man. | ||
| You can get just beautiful setups. | ||
| Houses on lakes and shit. | ||
| Can you shoot your guns outside? | ||
| I'm sure if you have a certain amount of acreage. | ||
| There's a show, Mountain Man, that I watch. | ||
| One of the dudes is in North Carolina. | ||
| I haven't watched that, but I've seen the commercials for it. | ||
| It's the shit. | ||
| Yeah, well, if you're interested in this subject... | ||
| Well, my favorite show on TV is the one where they hunt the gators. | ||
| Swamp people. | ||
| Swamp people. | ||
| And a perfect example of why hunting should exist. | ||
| If those guys didn't hunt the gators they hunted every year, gators would be eating a lot of children. | ||
| There'd be a lot more gators. | ||
| Wow, look at Asheville. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Yeah, that's Asheville. | ||
| I mean, come on, son. | ||
| Are you kidding me? | ||
| That water. | ||
| It's paradise up there. | ||
| It's fucking paradise. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I would have to see what it would be like, but I would think about living in a place like that. | ||
| I need to be parlaying on them private jets and hanging out with them hedge fund type motherfuckers, man, you know? | ||
| Gotta get in time with them for tickets. | ||
| Any hedge fund motherfuckers that need, you know, their bat mitzvah or bar mitzvah played, you know what I mean? | ||
| I'm just trying to get down and be your homie, you know? | ||
| I won't come at you too tough. | ||
| Just throw some of that advice at me, you know? | ||
| He helped me get into the fast lane. | ||
| I'm stacking my chips, but it's slow grind. | ||
| I'm looking for that hedge fund dude that, like, I like Everlast. | ||
| I want to smoke some dope with that. | ||
| Where you at? | ||
| Holler. | ||
| That's what I'm talking about. | ||
| You don't want that money, bro. | ||
| You want the money that you're making. | ||
| You don't want that hedge fund money. | ||
| That money smells like blood. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, but you know what? | ||
| Buy a lot of soap. | ||
|
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Soap. | |
| Soap. | ||
| Buy a lot of detergent. | ||
| You know what's really going to bum me out, man? | ||
| It sounds crazy, but when they stop making real engines for cars, you know? | ||
| A friend of mine had a Prius, and I know it's the future. | ||
| I know it's progress. | ||
| The thing makes no noise, it's electric, it's awesome on gas, uses less resources. | ||
| God damn, it was boring as he drove away. | ||
| I was like, listen to what the fuck that sounds like. | ||
| Are we going to not enjoy driving anymore? | ||
| Is it really going to get to that at some point? | ||
| I think they're still always going to probably do it. | ||
| There's going to be one company, like Porsche, that's going to be like, we're always going to make... | ||
| I wonder if they'll be allowed to, because they're putting all sorts of crazy restrictions on them as far as the future, like what they're going to have to be able to do as far as emissions. | ||
| That's why a lot of companies are forced to go to turbocharging, because the emission standards are so high. | ||
| They're going to lose the thrill of what an engine is like. | ||
| Whenever you come over here, I get car envy. | ||
| I love that fucking car you drive. | ||
| That Audi. | ||
| Come on, dude. | ||
| We could trade up for a week or something. | ||
| Dope car. | ||
| You've got to get a real clutch, though. | ||
| A real manual transmission, bro. | ||
| Those little paddle shifters. | ||
| I love the paddle shifters. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| Not a car like that, son. | ||
| In Los Angeles, you can't fucking have... | ||
| If it's going to be the only car you drive, absolutely. | ||
| Yeah, and I'm just... | ||
| That car was an impulse buy, man. | ||
| I went into the spot... | ||
| I was mad at BMW because they had jacked up their price on the 7 Series, and I was mad. | ||
| It went from $80 to $110 or something. | ||
| I was just like, man. | ||
| I was like, okay. | ||
| I was just going to go look at some other things. | ||
| I looked at a bunch of other cars. | ||
| I looked at an Audi, and I looked at a Bentley, and I looked at all these other cars. | ||
| It was just weak sauce to me. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Boring. | ||
| And this was a row of dealers of all these cars. | ||
| It's right here, actually. | ||
| I won't mention them because they ain't paying me. | ||
| But, you know, it's always fun. | ||
| But to get back out to where my car was, I had to walk back in through the Audi dealership, and that's when I saw that they had an all-white R8 in the corner, and I just went over looking at it like, wow, that's kind of sharp, you know? | ||
| And the kid came over and started talking to me, and he was like, yeah, I got a black-on-black one out back. | ||
| You know, I was like, I know I'm not going to buy this car, but yeah, sure. | ||
| Sure, show it to me, man. | ||
| You know, show it to me. | ||
| He's like, you want to take it for a spin? | ||
| I was like, oh, I could drive it? | ||
| He's like, no, I could take you for a spin, though. | ||
| I was like, oh, yeah, okay. | ||
| I was like, well, whatever, let's go. | ||
| I got time to kill. | ||
| He took me for a spin, took me up to back where the Rose Bowl is, and then pulled the car over and got out. | ||
| He tried to kiss you, didn't he? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I was worried though for a second because he pulled the car over, man. | ||
| He pulled the car over. | ||
| I was like, what are you doing, man? | ||
| Then he got out the car and he's like, yo, go ahead. | ||
| You can drive the car. | ||
| That was the smartest thing he ever did because I took that car for like 15 minutes. | ||
| It just went nuts. | ||
| Did you ever have a car like that before? | ||
| No. | ||
| Not like a sport car like that. | ||
| Way back when the 850 first came out for the BMW, I had that. | ||
| That can't fuck with what you got. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I drove 7 Series for all the rest of that time. | ||
| That's what I did. | ||
| I'd always have a truck and I'd have my little BMW 7. Well, your car is a mid-engine car, and that layout is the best layout as far as handling feel and balance. | ||
| That's such a great balance car. | ||
| It's on rails, man. | ||
| Yeah, the engine is actually in front of the rear wheels. | ||
| So it just rides like a fucking dream. | ||
| It just rides like a dream. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| It's a beautiful car. | ||
| It's a spaceship. | ||
| I got the 8. I didn't get the 10 because that's the car they had right there, right there. | ||
| And I said, give it to me. | ||
| I want this car right now. | ||
| Realistically, you don't need that 10. And if you want... | ||
| We're saying 8-cylinder over 10-cylinder. | ||
| But if you wanted to, there's a company that puts a supercharger on the 8 and makes it more powerful than the V10. And it doesn't cost that much. | ||
| And it's safe. | ||
| And they know what the fuck they're doing. | ||
| They've been doing it for a long time. | ||
| I just like the way, like you're saying, the way it growls. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, it sounds awesome. | ||
| It's not like that, man. | ||
| It's nice. | ||
| The supercharger will add a little extra wine to it. | ||
| That keeps the little boy in me alive. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's fun, right? | ||
| I'm telling you, I have one of those Shelby GT500 Mustangs. | ||
| You know what those are? | ||
| It's one of the newer ones. | ||
| And the sound of it alone, I swear to God, it just gives me a smile. | ||
| It makes me smile when I hit the gas and I shift the gears just to hear that engine roar. | ||
| I think for men, I don't think anyone has ever fully documented it, but I think there's a physiological thing that happens when you hear a strong engine. | ||
| I think there's something happening to your body. | ||
| It makes you actually feel good. | ||
| It sounds like an animal growling. | ||
| I think it probably produces testosterone or something like that. | ||
| I feel like I've read that. | ||
| You're laughing, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no. | |
| I could see it probably doing something like that. | ||
| I remember the first night I had it, dawg. | ||
| I was just taking it out and I was hitting corners doing 35, 45, like hitting corners. | ||
| Four-wheel drive. | ||
| I was like, not only that, there's a button you hit on it where the shocks fill up with fluid. | ||
| So you don't even lean. | ||
| Magnetic suspension. | ||
| It's like being on a freaking roller coaster, man. | ||
| Is this it right now? | ||
| Is this the... | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| It's called the Audi R8 and they have a V8 version, a V10 version. | ||
| And actually a lot of people think that the V10 doesn't handle as well because it's got a bigger engine and there's a little bit more rear weight biased. | ||
| Yeah, the engine in the V8 is smaller engine and a lot of people actually enjoy that car more. | ||
| But they started to put superchargers on them. | ||
| So they jack it up to like 560 horsepower and they're insane! | ||
| Insane! | ||
| I chew up tires like crazy. | ||
| Yeah, it's great. | ||
| I love cars, man. | ||
| I just love that someone invented it. | ||
| You know, you're getting a good car. | ||
| And then took it to that level. | ||
| Yeah, it's amazing. | ||
| That's like a spaceship, man. | ||
| When I saw it, I was like, man, that's a badass car. | ||
| There's cars now like the Shelby. | ||
| Like a Shelby GT500. They have a new one that's out that's 660 horsepower. | ||
| It's a fucking ridiculous thing to own. | ||
| Nobody should be able to just go into a store, and without proving that you know how to drive a goddamn race car, get a car stock off the shelf with a 660 plus horsepower engine. | ||
| But you can go get it. | ||
| You can go get it right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And you hit that, and it's just exciting. | |
| You'll get little goosebumps. | ||
| Even if you don't drive it fast, you've got a smile on your face while you're driving. | ||
| Women will never understand that. | ||
| They just want to look good. | ||
| Just want to look good. | ||
| Hair in their car. | ||
| Have a nice, shiny, clean car. | ||
| Something contemporary. | ||
| I think they do understand it on a different level. | ||
| The ones who do? | ||
| They want to be in that car. | ||
| They know they'd rather be in that car than the guy with the rusted up terselle. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| But what I'm saying is, I think, especially muscle cars, there's something incredibly masculine about them. | ||
| Something. | ||
| Something that I don't think a woman will ever completely tune into. | ||
| It's a beast. | ||
| They sound like beasts. | ||
| You're controlling a beast. | ||
| You're harnessing 500 horses worth of power. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is ridiculous. | ||
| 500 horses. | ||
| That's what it's all about. | ||
| That's why I say it keeps the little boy in me alive. | ||
| He's playing with... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I got fucking 400 horsepower. | |
| 400 horsepower in the aluminum car with all-wheel drive, but rear-wheel drive characteristics because it only ever gives 30% of the power to the real wheels. | ||
| So it just helps you in corners and shit like that. | ||
| You put that thing in sport and then put that shock thing on, it's crazy. | ||
| It's amazing what they can do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's crazy. | |
| It's fun. | ||
| I mean, I won't lie. | ||
| Well, when you think about technology and you think about how much things have progressed, one of the best ways to look at it is cars. | ||
| Because cars today, they have cars that go zero to 60 in less than three seconds. | ||
| And that's normal. | ||
| And you can get them at Nissan. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| A Nissan GT-R is 0-60 in 2.7 or 2.8 seconds. | ||
| That's mind-blowing. | ||
| It's so hard to wrap your head around the fact that 1, 2, 3, you're going 60 fucking miles an hour. | ||
| That's an insane car for a regular person to be able to buy. | ||
| And they're making them better every year. | ||
| Every year. | ||
| It's faster. | ||
| Every year. | ||
| They got this... | ||
| Germany, they have this course called the Nürburgring. | ||
| It's like the one that they benchmark a lot of performance cars on it because there's all these turns and twists. | ||
| So it gives a real accurate representation of how fast you could drive with this car in the real world. | ||
| And those motherfuckers go around it with insane speed. | ||
| There's videos of them online. | ||
| I'll watch them for hours on end. | ||
| I'll watch like, here's a Ferrari 458 on the Nürburgring. | ||
| And they show them to you from the cockpit. | ||
| So it's like all of them around 7 minutes and 50 seconds, 740 seconds. | ||
| So for 7 minutes, you're sitting in there with the YouTube on full screen going... | ||
| How could you not appreciate that? | ||
| How could you not appreciate what someone has engineered? | ||
| Something that furrows you around corners, like slightly sideways, controlling it. | ||
| It's so wild to watch, man. | ||
| I spent most of my summer in Europe, so every time we were on the Autobahn, I was like, man, I wish I had my car here just to... | ||
| Just to stomp it. | ||
| Just to open it up. | ||
| I've opened it up over the 210, that back stretch. | ||
| You know, over the mountains where there ain't much. | ||
| Late at night. | ||
| Got it up to like 160-something. | ||
| Woo! | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| The 210's a beautiful place. | ||
| And then I start getting real jittery like the helicopter's going to see me or something. | ||
| I'm going to turn into like a high speed pursuit on the news and so I back down. | ||
| Well those days are on their way out, man. | ||
| With the advent of drones, you're not going to be able to get away with that shit. | ||
| They'll have drones in the night sky, monitoring people's speed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Here we go, you got your own video doing 160. Yeah, you won't be able to fuck with it. | |
| I mean, there's no way they're not going to have that lockdown. | ||
| If there really are going to be 30,000 drones in the sky in 10 years, that's what they said, surveillance drones, these motherfuckers, they're going to cut back on all the fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that's when they move out the city, man. | ||
| Oh, they're going to have it out there, too, dude. | ||
| They're going to have it everywhere. | ||
| It's easier, probably, to notice. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| Unless you're talking about these little mosquito microbot things that you see every once in a while pop up. | ||
| Well, that's another thing that I heard that was really creepy about some cars. | ||
| Some cars, without you even knowing it, they keep a data log of how fast you've driven it. | ||
| It's like they can go into it and they can, like, access it and they can find out, like, what are you doing, asshole? | ||
| You're going 150 fucking miles an hour? | ||
| Well, you want a track? | ||
| Like, what are you doing here? | ||
| Like, why are you going this fast? | ||
| Like, they can find that out from, you can find out where you were from your GPS locations. | ||
| It's like you're carrying a record of all your whereabouts. | ||
| Probably a little black box somewhere in there, man. | ||
| I'm sure there is. | ||
| Especially if you're... | ||
| I don't put anything past anyone, dog. | ||
| Have you heard of this new thing that was released by WikiLeaks called Trapwire? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-uh. | |
| I'm having a dude come on, the guy who broke the story. | ||
| He's coming on the 28th. | ||
| I think it's the 28th. | ||
| Anyway, what it is is they've figured out a way to take all surveillance cameras from all over the country. | ||
| And work them through a centralized database where they literally store all of the information, like every movement that's happened in cities and in areas. | ||
| They've got a complete massive database on everything that everyone's ever done for the last few years. | ||
| They're starting to do it in these areas and they're putting it in a centralized database without letting anybody know. | ||
| And it's crazy. | ||
| I don't know the... | ||
| but somehow or another they're all linked through, you know, Homeland Security or whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| It's whatever organization is taking the feed from all these different places. | ||
| But they're amassing a database of all of our activities all the time without anybody even knowing about it. | ||
| And what's really crazy about that is that this is just... | ||
| this marks an ethic. | ||
| It marks like this is what they're thinking. | ||
| They would like to monitor us all the time. | ||
| So they're doing it as much as they can. | ||
| Well, eventually, the technology is going to be better. | ||
| So as technology gets better, they're going to have shit everywhere. | ||
| They're going to be able to look at you everywhere. | ||
| That's what they do. | ||
| That's what they do. | ||
| You can't stop them. | ||
| How's that going to stop? | ||
| Are we going to stop that? | ||
| It's going to make for a lot better. | ||
| Those videos, like those hidden camera videos, like, look at this person. | ||
| He fell down. | ||
| A lot more cat videos. | ||
| Because your cats do a lot of wacky shit while you're at work. | ||
| And this way, you can go back and review. | ||
| Let's see what Skippy got into today. | ||
| Oh, you little asshole, drinking out of the toilet again. | ||
| I heard there was a study recently where they put these cameras on cats, and they found out that cats murder way more than they originally thought. | ||
| These cats just did nothing but murder animals, squirrels, birds, insects, and they go on killing sprees every time they go out of the house. | ||
| They're cats, man. | ||
| That's what cats do. | ||
| I've never been a cat, dude. | ||
| I've always felt they were kind of dark. | ||
| They're creepy. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| For me, it was also one time, many, many years ago, I was messing with some broad, and she had a cat. | ||
| And I saw a cat go from the counter and jump up onto the top of the shower door, which is like, you know... | ||
| It's like jumping on a balance beam, but 12 feet above. | ||
| If you were a gymnast, jumping 12 feet up and landing on a balance beam perfectly. | ||
| And that's when I was like, yo, I don't trust anything that could do that, man. | ||
| It was half magical. | ||
| That thing can fuck you up. | ||
| I'm not talking about running and jumping, like standing there and springing up onto some shit. | ||
| And I was like, no, that was some magical shit. | ||
| I have a wrought iron railing that curls on my staircase. | ||
| And this wrought iron railing is only about... | ||
| Three fingers wide. | ||
| Like maybe three of my fat fingers wide. | ||
| My cat walks it. | ||
| He walks it like a tightrope all the way up to the top. | ||
| Like it's nothing. | ||
| Like it's nothing. | ||
| He's there 12 feet above a hard stone floor. | ||
| This motherfucker don't care. | ||
| They got no fear, man. | ||
| There's all kinds of old, like, you know, creepy tales about cats that used to, like, sit on the chest of children and suck their breath out. | ||
| They lie on babies because they're warm. | ||
| And when they lie on babies, they smother them. | ||
| Yeah, that shit's real. | ||
| You know, they turn that into many a folk tale. | ||
| But could you imagine if your fucking cat killed your baby? | ||
| Waking up and your cat, like, smothered your kid? | ||
| Oh, it's so scary, man. | ||
| That's so fucking caring. | ||
| They're too smart. | ||
| I mean, cats are just too damn smart. | ||
| They're creepy. | ||
| Cats are robots. | ||
| We just don't know it yet. | ||
| And totally, like, really don't give a shit about you unless they want something from you. | ||
| Yeah, they want to be pet all the time. | ||
| They want constant massages. | ||
| Or fuck you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| Eddie Bravo's just starting to realize his cats are cunts now that he has a kid. | ||
| He loves his son so much, man. | ||
| I tell him, you know, he's talking to me about how much he loves his bunny, how much he loves his cats. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, yeah, that's all nice and good. | ||
| Wait till you see a little man. | ||
| Wait till you have a son, dude. | ||
| You're ready to kill those cats with a hammer. | ||
| Trust me. | ||
| Obviously, I was joking around. | ||
| I have cats. | ||
| I love my cats. | ||
| They're creepy, but I love them. | ||
| But man, now he's like, these fucking cats, they make noise when the kid's asleep on purpose. | ||
| They're trying to wake him up. | ||
| I try to keep him out of the room so they go in there and knock shit over. | ||
| They'll knock shit over and run around the hallway. | ||
| They're like, they're fucking with him. | ||
| And he's realizing it. | ||
| He's like, oh my god, I'm living with a bunch of cunts. | ||
| Cats are crazy, man. | ||
| Jealous little twats. | ||
| I would get a cat, like, if I lived, like... | ||
| In the hills or something. | ||
| I keep a cat, like an outdoor, indoor cat. | ||
| Those are bad. | ||
| Those are bad news. | ||
| For the sake of keeping off any rodents and whatnot. | ||
| You shouldn't fuck with outdoor, indoor cats for the simple reason of parasites. | ||
| An outdoor cat, I'll give them a little dish. | ||
| All outdoor or all indoor. | ||
| But I would have them if they served a purpose. | ||
| For me, I'm a dog guy. | ||
| I've always been a dog guy. | ||
| Well, you know, feral cats, people traditionally had them on farms. | ||
| I mean, semi-feral, just to keep the rat population down. | ||
| Because whenever you have a farm, you're going to have a lot of rodents. | ||
| But that cat parasite shit is no joke, man. | ||
| A lot of people have real problems in their life because of this cat parasite. | ||
| And it's affected a massive amount of Europe, a massive amount of South America. | ||
| I'm not even hip. | ||
| It's all toxoplasma. | ||
| They're just discovering it within the last few years. | ||
| And one of the things that they're discovering is that it leads to a disproportionate amount of motorcycle victims. | ||
| So they think it affects your judgment. | ||
| And it also, they said there's a lot of soccer teams, like really successful soccer teams, come from countries where they test high With high levels of toxoplasma because it makes you reckless. | ||
| It makes men... | ||
| Apparently it makes them more aggressive and may perhaps even generate more testosterone. | ||
| But essentially it's a fucking parasite that you get from cats. | ||
| And it completely rewires the way your thinking is. | ||
| There's an article that's written online. | ||
| It's a fascinating article by a neurosurgeon who has it. | ||
| And he knew something was wrong. | ||
| It's totally incurable. | ||
| When you have it, you can live with it, but it affects your judgment. | ||
| And it comes from fucking cats. | ||
| And it's creepy. | ||
| It's a behavioral changer. | ||
| So cats get it from rats. | ||
| And rats, what happens is the rat gets it. | ||
| And when the rat gets it, the rat gets sexually attracted to the smell of cat piss. | ||
| So it surrenders itself basically to cats, dude. | ||
| Runs right to the hole. | ||
| That's some old M. Night Shyamalan shit or something, dog. | ||
| It is. | ||
| And it's real. | ||
| That's crazy, man. | ||
| I mean, it's really scary. | ||
| It is like M. Night Shyamalan. | ||
| You're so right. | ||
| And we all sit around thinking about how arrogantly we're going to ruin or kill or take over the world or anything. | ||
| All it takes is one cat parasite, dude, and we're all screwed, man. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| The wrong one, and let that aerosolize. | ||
| Well, they say that 50 million people are affected by it in this country alone. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| 50 million. | ||
| In Brazil, it's like 60%. | ||
| In parts of France, at one point in time... | ||
| It was as high as 80%. | ||
| Now it's down to the 50s. | ||
| But 50%, it's half the fucking people have this cat parasite, half of them, that changes your behavior. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It's fucking nuts. | ||
| There's a guy named Sapolsky. | ||
| I've got to get him on this podcast. | ||
| I have to talk to him about this if he ever has free time. | ||
| But he's a professor, and he specializes in it. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| And he's the one who has a great video. | ||
| Sapolsky. | ||
| Toxoplasma? | ||
| Toxoplasma Gandhi. | ||
| Toxoblasmosis Gandhi, I think is the actual name of it. | ||
| Check that out, man. | ||
| It's fucking terrifying, man. | ||
| That's why outdoor cats can go fuck themselves. | ||
| You know, you gotta keep away from those creepy bitches. | ||
| They might get you with their dirty shit. | ||
| I'm in general not like cats, man. | ||
| And I'm a Leo. | ||
| Well, isn't that weird? | ||
| I mean, what a crazy... | ||
| It's cool. | ||
| We're all Leos here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And we're all getting along. | ||
| Isn't it crazy that you could figure out a way to wire an animal's dick so it gets hard when it smells cat piss? | ||
| The piss of its murderer. | ||
| Could you imagine? | ||
| That's some devious shit. | ||
| That's the most devious shit ever! | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's physically and spiritually just devious, man. | |
| That's just, that's next, that's Freddy Krueger nightmare shit right there. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| Somebody could just spit on you or transfer a fluid or breathe on you and all of a sudden now there are agents at work within your body to make you behave differently so as to the killing of you by that person would be made much easier. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| And a whole species. | ||
| Like, cats! | ||
| You're going near cats! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, what the fuck?! | |
| Cats? | ||
| The one thing that wants to kill you all the time. | ||
| And nature's like, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. | ||
| That's where we want to go next. | ||
| That's where we want to go next. | ||
| Go over there, please. | ||
| You smell that? | ||
| That smells like cats. | ||
| It's almost impossible to imagine that that wasn't engineered. | ||
| It makes you stop and go, who the fuck is working behind the curtain here? | ||
| That seems engineered. | ||
| That seems like... | ||
| If you wanted to point to some sort of intelligent design of the universe, I think things like that are compelling topics. | ||
| Not necessarily evidence, but compelling topics when it comes to the debate of there being some sort of intelligence to this whole thing. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| I mean, how does it randomly happen? | ||
| It'd be like if we could go scratch a chicken and a week later it's at our doorstep cooked, like waiting for us to eat it. | ||
| Yeah, we just throw some powder out there in the field and it just had the urge to throw itself on a roasting grill and feed itself to it. | ||
| With a hard dick, wandering, with their stupid black rat eyes, dead eyes, looking for cat piss with a heart on. | ||
| What the fuck kind of world is this? | ||
| Joe, would this happen? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at the TV. How many videos in there of cats doing hilarious shit with their bodies? | |
| You can watch those. | ||
| My daughter watches those for hours. | ||
| Cats might be aliens, dude. | ||
| They might be. | ||
| I think they're robots. | ||
| I think they're technology. | ||
| Well, I just think they're super killers. | ||
| I think that nature needs cleanup. | ||
| And in order to make sure that the limping fucks don't make it, there's cats. | ||
| That's really what it is. | ||
| And they're there. | ||
| The little ones... | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck was that? | |
| See? | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That looks like the devil picked it up and walked it away. | |
| That cat just got up on two legs and walked out. | ||
| It's the most... | ||
| What's the name of that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just so people can see it. | |
| Cat walking on... | ||
| Oh, Thriller Cat. | ||
| Thriller Cat. | ||
| Wait for it. | ||
| Thriller Cat. | ||
| Wait for it. | ||
| Oh, it's so silly. | ||
| God, I love that. | ||
| They're nature's cleanup, man. | ||
| They're there to make sure that it's tough to live. | ||
| And when somebody domesticated a cat, who decided that having it shit and piss in a box was a great idea? | ||
| It's the only way to keep them in the house. | ||
| If you're going to keep them in the house, they have to have a place to shit. | ||
| Dana D'Armond has it go in the toilet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, she has those bald cats where they're all shaved, and she's trained it to just use the toilet. | ||
| I guess that's right. | ||
| If you're not letting it out of the house, that doesn't make sense. | ||
| Could you imagine the things that her cat has seen? | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| No wonder why the cat goes in the toilet. | ||
| The cat is traumatized. | ||
| Doesn't even know it's a cat. | ||
| The cat thinks it's a person that can't talk. | ||
| Doesn't know what the fuck is up. | ||
| Yeah, it's weird to have an animal shitting in your house. | ||
| It's gross. | ||
| It's fucking nasty. | ||
| I'm not down with it anymore. | ||
| That was always a turn off to me, like if I would show up at some chick's house or something and I would smell that smell. | ||
| Ugh, it's awful. | ||
| Oh, there's a litter box in his house. | ||
| It's gross, especially if you're lazy and you don't clean the piss out. | ||
| And you walk in the house and you have that ammonia smell. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| That's so dangerous for you. | ||
| I was watching Animal Hoarders on Netflix, which is one of the worst fucking TV shows in the whole entire world. | ||
| I don't know if you've ever watched it. | ||
| There was even one guy that had over 10,000 rats. | ||
| His wife died and then he bought a rat for some reason because she liked rats. | ||
| Just thousands and thousands of rats. | ||
| But one thing is the ammonia. | ||
| There was this guy that owned, I think, 90 cats in a one bedroom or something like that. | ||
| And the ammonia was so bad, like the toxic level was something like crazy, like 12%. | ||
| He had it like 90%. | ||
| Like his air quality was just all ammonia. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I watch hoarders sometimes with the wifey, man. | ||
| Every once in a while, somebody will have so much stuff, they'll pull a flattened dead cat out of between. | ||
| Watch animal hoarders. | ||
| They'll freak you out. | ||
| They find dead cats all the time. | ||
| Isn't that weird that a lot of people do that? | ||
| That they start storing animals in their house? | ||
| They need more animals? | ||
| Or just even junk. | ||
| Yeah, junk. | ||
| Books. | ||
| Can't throw out old newspapers. | ||
| Once, like, my table gets too cluttered, some of this shit gotta get thrown out, man. | ||
| I just refreshed myself, got rid of all the magazines in my office. | ||
| I had, like, a stack of magazines. | ||
| Stack, maybe. | ||
| You gotta let go of some stuff. | ||
| There's, like, maybe 200 magazines. | ||
| I've been good at that, though. | ||
| I don't even have a lot of my own memorabilia and things like that, because I give everything away. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I wind up giving, you know... | ||
| It'll impact them more than it'll impact you, you know? | ||
| To have a real everlasting memorabilia in your house. | ||
| It's just, you know, things. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I've had it all, lost it all, had it all, lost it all a couple times, so it's like I'm real attached to, like, not being attached. | ||
| Well, that's the best story. | ||
| The had it all, lost it all, got it back story is the best story. | ||
| People love that. | ||
| They love people that fuck up. | ||
| I do. | ||
| I love people because I know that's what I do. | ||
| I love people that can figure things out or that get through adversity or that go over a hump or that get thrown a curveball and they figure out how to hit it next time. | ||
| They're the most interesting people. | ||
| They get up the next day. | ||
| It's still going to be... | ||
| I remember, like, in the middle of my troubles, my troubles happened because, you know, I had to, like, I quit House of Pain. | ||
| I was doing a record my label didn't even believe in, the whole White Ford record. | ||
| Yeah, we went over that. | ||
| And, you know, I'd given up, like, I had to tax, my accountant ripped me off for some taxes, money, and I canceled my insurance. | ||
| So it was like the perfect storm of, like, here's the perfect time for your heart thing to happen to you right now. | ||
| Well, it's a perfect movie, though. | ||
| You know. | ||
| And then the bounce back. | ||
| Well, the bounce back was kind of luck. | ||
| That put your lights on? | ||
| That was not luck, dude. | ||
| That song is tremendous, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that was a result of, like I said, coming out the hospital. | ||
| That's you and Santana? | ||
| Well, you know, I wrote the song. | ||
| Dude, play a little bit of that again. | ||
| Put it on his album. | ||
| Put a little bit of that on. | ||
| God damn, that's a good song, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, man. | |
| That song had some real feeling in it, man. | ||
| There was a lot going on in that song. | ||
| Yeah, but I remember my accountants telling me to file for bankruptcy and all this. | ||
| And I was like, you know what? | ||
| I ain't gonna do it. | ||
| I ain't gonna do it. | ||
| God forbid I ever really had to do it. | ||
| But I was like, I pay my debts is the way I look at it. | ||
| I got screwed over by this guy. | ||
| I'm not gonna tell ten people over here I owe money to screw you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because I got screwed. | ||
| I don't play that game. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah, bankruptcy is kind of a tricky little situation, huh? | ||
| I just remember the day I got the call from my accountant that said, you know, my new accountant that was, that I broke even. | ||
| Like, that everything was paid. | ||
| All my debts, my medical bills, everything was paid. | ||
| And, you know, now you can start putting some money back in the bank. | ||
| It took like a year. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Some people it takes their whole life, you know. | ||
| Yeah, people can hit a spiral man Who is cooler than Carlos Santana? | ||
| Has anybody ever lived that's cooler than that guy? | ||
| He's undeniable. | ||
| I don't know, that guy right there is pretty fucking cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're pretty cool, too. | |
| I mean, don't get me wrong. | ||
| But come on, man. | ||
| Carlos Santana. | ||
| What was it like working with him, man? | ||
| It was cool. | ||
| It was like... | ||
| I had written that song. | ||
| We've gone over the story a little bit last time. | ||
| I had written that song and I had it, but Whitey Ford sings the blues was done. | ||
| I was doing Saturday Night Live. | ||
| I don't know if we talked about that part, which was one of my bucket list things, playing Saturday Night Live. | ||
| Growing up as a kid, that's why. | ||
| Learned about a lot of music. | ||
| So I'm playing Saturday Night Live. | ||
| We're doing like the day before rehearsal or something. | ||
| And somebody comes in the room and is like, yo, Carlos Santana's in the building. | ||
| He's looking for you. | ||
| And I was like, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Shut up. | ||
| And like literally like 30 seconds later, Carlos Santana walks in the room. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And the guy who produced that song with me, Dante Ross, had taken the liberty. | ||
| He heard they were looking for songs. | ||
| He took the liberty of sending them the song. | ||
| And Santana fell in love with the song. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| The way I understand it and the way the story is told to me, it was the first song chosen for that whole project. | ||
| It was cool. | ||
| It was an honor. | ||
| I got this song and I was going to save it for my second record, but it just seemed like an opportunity that I should take. | ||
| Fuck yeah, man. | ||
| To be right next to Carlos motherfucking Santana. | ||
| And he was adamantly... | ||
| I'm not going to say the word beg because it implies some kind of... | ||
| He really wanted to be involved. | ||
| He wanted that song for his record. | ||
| He was like, yo, I want this song for my record. | ||
| And it was almost like I can't take no for an answer. | ||
| He was basically letting me know. | ||
| He was being real cool about letting me know how much he wanted that song. | ||
| And then you're like, you're buttered up by Santana. | ||
| So it's like, yeah, all right, we can do this. | ||
| Carlos Santana, who has made it through better than that guy? | ||
| He's made it through better than any of them. | ||
| If you think about all the people from his era and generation, they're all dead. | ||
| And he's still relevant. | ||
| He's managed to stick around. | ||
| Fuck yeah, stick around and still blow it out, man. | ||
| His music is still... | ||
| Now he's married to the Cindy Blackman. | ||
| Remember that drummer used to be in Lenny Kravitz's band? | ||
| Chick with the big fro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| Yeah, that's his wife. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| I think she's been drumming with him, too. | ||
| I think she plays for him. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, very few people, like, hit that cool level, like that Carlos Santana level. | ||
| Like, if you don't like Carlos Santana, something's fucking wrong with you, man. | ||
| You got your own problems, you know? | ||
| It's not Carlos, for sure. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| He didn't do nothing to you, dude. | ||
| He's just out there playing guitar. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| So what do you want to play us, man? | ||
| Oh, I don't know. | ||
| I figured I had to bring the guitar because I do look at the Twitter. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| If you didn't play, people would go crazy. | ||
| If I had to bring the guitar now, now I'm going to ask. | ||
| We love talking to you, man. | ||
| But we love talking to you plus your music even more. | ||
| I can't even remember. | ||
| I come here and we talk about like 90 different things and I'm like, what did I even say on that show, man? | ||
| I don't even know what I said. | ||
| Yeah, well, welcome to us too. | ||
| Is there any more joint? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, there's more. | ||
| Let me just play something off the new record. | ||
| Let me just play something off the new record. | ||
| this hole. | ||
| Got a whole lot of nothing. | ||
| I'm ready to give. | ||
| I need a whole lot of loving, girl. | ||
| I'm eager to live. | ||
| We go one for money, two for show. | ||
| Got a one-trick pony. | ||
| You can ride her slow. | ||
| Cause she's good to go. | ||
| When I'm gone for good, I'll be unappreciated and misunderstood. | ||
| Got a brand new bag. | ||
| Got a brand new style. | ||
| Got a brand new baby girl that makes me smile. | ||
| Got a pocket for money. | ||
| Got a payday swagger. | ||
| Got a 4-5 pistol and a switchblade dagger. | ||
| Holding on with all I got. | ||
| I see the world keep turning and fires keep burning it down. | ||
| We're out, holding on with all we got. | ||
| They're trying to poison all the water and make porn stars from daughters in town. | ||
| Hey, you better wake up and water stop messing around. | ||
| And quit pretending like the motherfucking walls ain't tumbling down. | ||
| I got a one-track mind, got a double standard. | ||
| I got a woman so fine, and that's the way that I plan it. | ||
| Got a part-time job, got a full-time hobby. | ||
| I get drunk at the bar, fall asleep in the lobby. | ||
| If I'm late for the show, you don't have to worry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I just live for the day, so I ain't in no hurry. | |
| My vision It's blurry. | ||
| My head has been throbbing. | ||
| I got to fighting with the wifey. | ||
| She hung up on me sobbing. | ||
| Got a hole in my heart. | ||
| Got the guiltiest feeling. | ||
| Got a bottle of the Jameson. | ||
| That's how I keep dealing. | ||
| Got a pill for the pain. | ||
| Got some trees for the blowing. | ||
| Got 25,000 more miles to be going. | ||
| I got no way of knowing, got no way of telling Ain't nobody on my side and I got none I'm selling Got the clothes on my back, got the sound that I'm singing Got the love in my heart and the drama I'm bringing And holding on with all I got I see the world keep turning, fires keep burning it down We're out, holding on with all we got | ||
| They're trying to poison all the water Make porn stars from daughters in town Amen. | ||
| You better wake up or stop messing around. | ||
| And quit pretending like the motherfucking walls ain't tumbling down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was beautiful. | |
| I figured I'd say something that made sense today. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's one of my favorite songs. | ||
| That's fucking badass, man. | ||
| You know, your stuff has such an everlast feel to it now. | ||
| You really nailed your sound. | ||
| Nobody else could have played that song. | ||
| If I heard that song, I would say, well, that's a Neverlast song. | ||
| That's a Neverlast song. | ||
| It sounds like a Neverlast song. | ||
| Yeah, it makes it hard to write for other folks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I write songs and it's like, I gotta keep that. | |
| That's mine. | ||
| You gotta write for yourself, man. | ||
| You have this unique blend of having had all these life experiences and health problems and being fucked over and being up and down and Man, it just comes out in your music. | ||
| God damn, it comes out good. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| That is a badass fucking song. | ||
| I'll say it like this, man. | ||
| Since coming here and doing this, it did two things. | ||
| It made a lot of people aware of me playing acoustically. | ||
| And it also freed me up. | ||
| I've been doing a lot of shows like this now. | ||
| Oh, man, that's beautiful to hear. | ||
| We couldn't be happier, man. | ||
| It's been fun. | ||
| I really appreciate that sound. | ||
| I think there's something real intimate about an acoustic set. | ||
| I don't want to say it's better, but it's different. | ||
| For me, it's great because everything starts that way. | ||
| I sit in a room with this and maybe a drum machine. | ||
| Maybe I'll come up with a beat and a guitar line, but most of the time it's an acoustic guitar and me. | ||
| That's all you need, man. | ||
| Some of the greatest songs ever. | ||
| And when the lights go out, I'll still be able to do it. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah, no, it's beautiful, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's beautiful. | |
| Oh, I gotta say to Dana DeArma, I was listening to it, she was thinking I was talking shit about her. | ||
| We were just joking about what kind of crazy shit your cats must have seen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We like you, baby. | |
| We're friends. | ||
| We're buddies. | ||
| We love you. | ||
| We're not talking shit about you. | ||
| Don't get oversensitive. | ||
| Isn't this like a comedy-based podcast? | ||
| Yeah, but people don't like being talked shit about, and she's just sensitive, and she's been on our show a bunch of times. | ||
| I just wanted to know, even if I make fun, it's always love, baby. | ||
| You can make fun of me anytime, Joe. | ||
| You're too cool, man. | ||
| It's really tough to find an angle without coming off looking like a dick. | ||
| When someone's as nice as you... | ||
| Just the edges have been worn off, man, by this point. | ||
| In my 20s, I was a Just raging asshole. | ||
| Well, I remember meeting you, you know, whatever many years ago it was, and I was, right away, you seemed like just a normal dude, you know, and it's a weird thing when you listen to someone's music, and you've known them for so many years, like, I knew who you were when I was barely getting by, you know, and you were playing in my car. | ||
| I was driving around, jump up, jump up, get down! | ||
| You're in my car and shit when I was in my mad struggle period. | ||
| Yeah, we're about to actually release a 20th anniversary. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Oh, that's awesome. | ||
| With a bunch of remixes and... | ||
| Acoustic versions. | ||
| But you were one of those... | ||
| That's just not going to happen. | ||
| Actually, the funny thing is I was just doing an acoustic show and it's like, This dude started saying jump. | ||
| And I was like, I laughed it off at first. | ||
| And then I realized he was serious. | ||
| I was like, dude, it ain't happening. | ||
| But you know Dynamite Hack, third version of Jen and J. That would be kind of cool if you could do it. | ||
| Let me tell you something, man. | ||
| It'd be cool if somebody else did that. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Jump around is so goddamn good that I think it's almost like a disservice if you don't do it. | ||
| Even if you got to bring out more equipment, jump around is like, you can't follow that. | ||
| There is no more equipment when I show up in one of these shows. | ||
| It's me and this and at most my buddy or another guy on acoustic guitar. | ||
| It's one of my favorite parts about Marcus Davis is a dude who fought in the UFC who would always come out to jump around. | ||
| When those bagpipes go off in the beginning, ugh. | ||
| Goddamn, that was a good jam. | ||
| It still stays in downloads. | ||
| I'm amazed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck yeah. | |
| That's one of the all-time greatest workout songs ever. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| If you're lifting weights and you listen to that song, you get an extra rep in. | ||
| It's paying for that car outside. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I'm sure. | |
| I'm sure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's why you need to make an acoustic version. | |
| For vegans. | ||
| For vegans. | ||
| For vegans who occasionally eat eggs if they find. | ||
| Vegans aren't even allowed to eat eggs, right? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| No. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| That's an embryo. | ||
| But it's not. | ||
| It's only an embryo if it's been fertilized. | ||
| I used to think it was. | ||
| I used to think that every egg could become a chicken. | ||
| Well, it's a potential embryo. | ||
| Not even. | ||
| They lay them. | ||
| Every day. | ||
| They lay them every day. | ||
| I eat the shit out of them. | ||
| I ain't arguing with you. | ||
| Oh, I know you're not. | ||
| But I didn't know that it comes out. | ||
| Like, when it comes out, there's no way it could ever be a baby. | ||
| Like, it is just an egg and it's done. | ||
| Like, even though she laid this egg, that is a useless egg. | ||
| It will never be a baby chick. | ||
| So when is it regular chicks then? | ||
| It has to be fertilized. | ||
| So they have one every day. | ||
| And when a male chicken comes in and lays some dick to her, then there's a baby in that egg. | ||
| But until the male chicken does that, she's just laying duds. | ||
| So there's no males around. | ||
| And then you come along and eat the duds. | ||
| So if there's no males around, then it's guaranteed no babies. | ||
| Just fucking dud city. | ||
| Dud city. | ||
| Yeah, and you separate them anyway because otherwise they'd peck each other's fucking eyes out. | ||
| Those cunty little animals. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| What's a chicken look taste like that's been fertilized? | ||
| Is it even better? | ||
| Is there a name for it? | ||
| Like deluxe egg? | ||
| No. | ||
| Well, it's called Balut in the Philippines. | ||
| We used to serve it on Fear Factor. | ||
| And it was funny because my Filipino friends... | ||
| What, like a halfway baked chiclet? | ||
| It's like a duck embryo, and it's cooked. | ||
| It's half cooked. | ||
| Well, it's not like solid cooked, but it's still gooey inside. | ||
| But I mean, they're eating the bones. | ||
| I mean, you can see the little duck. | ||
| I mean, we served people this. | ||
| But my Filipino friends are like, oh, that's Balut. | ||
| That's my favorite. | ||
| Why don't you get me on your fucking show, Joe Rogan? | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| The funny part would have been if, like, just randomly that happened where one guy was on the show. | ||
| He's like, oh, my grandma used to make that all the time! | ||
| Yeah, we would know. | ||
| Oh, horse penis? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| We would never serve a Filipino person, Balut. | ||
| But we served it to a lot of other people. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| The thing called 100-year-old eggs. | ||
| It's not really 100 years old, but it's a fermented egg. | ||
| They dig a hole and they put them in the ground for weeks or months or some shit like that. | ||
| The eggs turn black and they have a jelly, sort of a weird texture to them. | ||
| They're fucking disgusting. | ||
| But people pay money for them. | ||
| It's an expensive delicacy somewhere. | ||
| That's what I call tampons that girls forget about. | ||
| Sometimes they push a tampon in too far. | ||
| I call it a balutpon. | ||
| Some girls are like, I had it in me for four days and started to smell raw. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What kind of fucking girls are you hanging out with? | ||
| You gotta clean these girls up, man. | ||
| These girls are lost. | ||
| They've given up on life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Four days? | |
| You forgot something was inside you for four days? | ||
| I was dating this girl a long time ago, and I was fingering her, and I pulled out a piece of her tampon that she didn't know was in there. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And she totally freaked out. | ||
| It happens a lot, I guess. | ||
| She was so embarrassed. | ||
| She was like, I'm so embarrassed. | ||
| I'm like... | ||
| Why would you be embarrassed? | ||
| I'm like, you know you have to put stuff in there, so something got stuck and you didn't know. | ||
| Why is that embarrassing? | ||
| I don't understand why that's embarrassing. | ||
| Not everybody's as evolved as you, Joe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I was only 21. I wasn't that evolved back then. | ||
| You sounded pretty evolved. | ||
| That's how you reacted. | ||
| At 20, I might have been like, what the fuck is this? | ||
| What the fuck is this? | ||
| Where'd this come from? | ||
| I don't know, baby. | ||
| I thought I cleaned it good for you, baby. | ||
| I thought you cleaned it good for me. | ||
| Just because at 21, you're like, what the fuck? | ||
| What the heck? | ||
| I mean, I probably would have been a little weirded out by that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Was it just clean? | ||
| Or was it bloody? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She had pulled it out. | ||
| No, it was clean. | ||
| She had apparently pulled it out and left a piece of it in there. | ||
| It broke off. | ||
| Which is really dangerous for women. | ||
| Yeah, toxic shock. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know what the fuck that... | ||
| I guess it's like... | ||
| It's bad, whatever it is. | ||
| That's four days of leaving a tampon up in you. | ||
| You gotta think. | ||
| That's what's gonna get you that. | ||
| Brian, how dare you. | ||
| Tell your friend. | ||
| Who are you hanging out with, Brian? | ||
| Word. | ||
| The fuck is wrong with people in your life, man? | ||
| It's all them junior high school girls. | ||
| All right, look, it was Dana D'Armond. | ||
| It was just Dana D'Armond. | ||
| Poor Dana. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This kid wasn't Dana D'Armond. | |
| Dana's a really nice person. | ||
| I don't care what she does for a living. | ||
| She's always been a very pleasant person to be around. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| You know, people say like, oh, you're just trying to fuck her. | ||
| No one's trying to fuck her. | ||
| We're all friends with her. | ||
| No, she's a great person. | ||
| She's a really nice person. | ||
| And she's funny. | ||
| She's a funny chick. | ||
| I love her. | ||
| So she likes doing gangbangs. | ||
| Whatevs. | ||
| I miss doing a podcast with her. | ||
| That ain't my life. | ||
| Why don't you guys do a podcast anymore? | ||
| We're just so horrible. | ||
| We'll be like, hey, let's do one today. | ||
| And like, okay, who should we have on? | ||
| And then we both just space out. | ||
| We're just really bad. | ||
| We work weird together. | ||
| We're very spacey, both of us. | ||
| You just shut each other off. | ||
| You cancel each other off. | ||
| Well, you're doing too much anyway, man. | ||
| You're all fucking stressed out. | ||
| You've got to chill out. | ||
| Listen to some Everlast music, bitch. | ||
| Actually, I've listened to his album more than I think any CD I've ever had, ever. | ||
| Because it's always in my car and it's always a go-to CD because it's good. | ||
| There's a lot of good songs on it. | ||
| I'm not just blowing smoke up your ass. | ||
| Thank you, sir. | ||
| No, it's beautiful, man. | ||
| What else you got for us? | ||
| Oh, I got one. | ||
| I got one here. | ||
| It's off my last album, which actually I started this thing last week and I might have approached it wrong because I was kind of angry when I did. | ||
| Sony ATV Music Group or something on Twitter. | ||
| You can find it on my timeline. | ||
| I have an album that I put out in 2008 that's not on iTunes. | ||
| Nobody knows the reason why. | ||
| And it's like I'm trying to get these dudes' attention right now to put this album up. | ||
| It's called Love War and the Ghost of Whitey Ford. | ||
| It's like I did an independent deal with one of these publishing people and it's been kind of like... | ||
| How come it's not up? | ||
| We gotta push them to get this up. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of shit. | ||
| It's also the album that has my Folsom Prison cover on it. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, it's just... | ||
| It's purely a red... | ||
| It's not even red tape. | ||
| It's like just... | ||
| Motherfuckers just ain't aware. | ||
| So, like, last week I tweeted, like, Hey, everybody, tweet these assholes about my record. | ||
| You know, it needs to be on iTunes. | ||
| And, like, apparently people got pretty nasty quickly. | ||
| But I got a response from somebody at the company saying... | ||
| At first they were like, oh, that's real professional. | ||
| And I wrote them back, like, real professional. | ||
| I was like, you guys are fucking me right now because you don't have a record of mine up that I put out four years ago. | ||
| And then they got back to me. | ||
| So I'm saying respectfully request these people to get my record up on iTunes. | ||
| Yeah, no shit, man. | ||
| That's fucked up. | ||
| Because there's one person in there apparently working on my behalf. | ||
| I can't remember their name at this time. | ||
| So we have an undercover operative in the operation at the moment. | ||
| So what is it, just incompetence? | ||
| Well, we live by a tribe called Quest Industry Rule 4080, which is record company people are shady. | ||
| This just is what it is. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| They're dying, huh? | ||
| It's the industry. | ||
| I'm going to get the record up, but this song's from it. | ||
| And this song I originally wrote... | ||
| When I saw imagery of kids in Palestine throwing rocks at Israeli armored cars, I explored the mentality of the oppressed and how far you will let yourself be oppressed. | ||
| I've started to come to the conclusion the song's about a lot more than just that, though. | ||
| It's about what could be going on here soon. | ||
| It's called Stone in My Hand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
guitar solo | |
| guitar solo | ||
| stone in my head Ain't got nothin' but the stones in my head They say you want a revolution, well get on board. | ||
| We'll start a new crusade, we'll start a holy war. | ||
| I don't need no orders. | ||
| I don't need no plans. | ||
| I don't need nothing but stones in my hand. | ||
| Stone in my hand. | ||
| Stone in my hand. | ||
| Don't need nothing but stones in my hand Stone in my hand Stone in my hand Don't need nothing but stones in my hand Build your fighter jets You drop your bombs. | ||
| You kill our fathers. | ||
| You kill our moms. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You kill our brothers and our sisters and our uncles and our aunts. | |
| And still I'm fighting with stones in my head. | ||
| Stone in my head. | ||
| Stone in my head. | ||
| Still I'm fighting with stones in my head. | ||
| A stone in my head. | ||
| A stone in my head. | ||
| All the blood that's in my heart. | ||
| Stones in my hand Let mine's the cutters Smoke fills the sky. | ||
| Every son that suffers, every mother cries So if you've had enough and ready for your stand I'll be waiting with the stones in my head. | ||
| Stone in my head. | ||
| Stone in my head. | ||
| Yeah, I'll be waiting with the stones in my head. | ||
| Stone in my head. | ||
| Stone in my head. | ||
| All the love's in my heart. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The stones in my head. | |
| God damn, that's good. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Holy shit, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| That is awesome. | ||
| That is one of my new favorite songs, man. | ||
| Thank you, sir. | ||
| That is fucking fantastic. | ||
| The album's called Love, War, and the Ghost of Whitey Ford. | ||
| Sony ATV Music Group. | ||
| Get that shit up on iTunes, please. | ||
| Man, when I was listening to that, I was thinking, I need to hear this shit again right away. | ||
| There's a video for it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| No, I need to get it in my car on the way home, man. | ||
| I need to figure out how to get it on my phone and get it in my car. | ||
| I'm going to have to download that shit, and I can't get it off iTunes. | ||
| That pisses me off. | ||
| That bothers me. | ||
| I mean, it's a different version on iTunes anyway. | ||
| The album version's got drums and all kinds of shit. | ||
| Goddamn, that was good, dude. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| It's revoluting. | ||
| That's a great song, man. | ||
| That has everything. | ||
| That has everything, man. | ||
| The beat is fantastic, too. | ||
| The way you played it, it was a very unusual sound for an acoustic song. | ||
| I beat it up like a drum, man. | ||
| It's kind of like my thing. | ||
| I was learned. | ||
| I was taught. | ||
| I learned! | ||
| I was learned how to strum the guitar. | ||
| But like to treat this hand like a drummer, like that's the down, that's the up, that's the kick and the snare kind of way my mind works, you know? | ||
| Yeah, when you were in the middle of the, I don't know any musical turns, but when you were really going at it, man, it was like, it was both a drum and it was almost like there was a beat to it as well as, you know, hearing the actual sound of the chords. | ||
| Grazie. | ||
| Oh, it's beautiful, man. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| The words are beautiful. | ||
| It's so inspiring, man. | ||
| I have no musical talent at all, so I always say this, like, music to me is like magic. | ||
| Like, you're doing magic. | ||
| Like, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| Like, you're making all this crazy awesome noise. | ||
| You know, I mean, it is, to me, it's like, I'm so musically retarded that it is like a form of magic. | ||
| So inspirational, man. | ||
| It's awesome, man. | ||
| Thank you, sir. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| Another one? | ||
| I'll play as many as y'all want, man. | ||
| Always nice. | ||
| This is another one off that record. | ||
| I'll just keep it in that theme for the moment. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| Got my pickup truck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Got my gun. | |
| I got a taste for whiskey and pills. | ||
| I know I'm kind of fucked. | ||
| Cause I'm my father's son. | ||
| Got a hold in my heart I can't fill. | ||
| Turn off the parking lights Down by the river's edge This is my darkest night, girl Swimming in my head Happens all the time I blow it every time People change with time. | ||
| Call me anytime, girl. | ||
| I miss you oh so often. | ||
| What's been said is done. | ||
| It's my only option. | ||
| I'll be anyone for Out on the interstate I play my radio And I confess to all my sins | ||
| Been driving seven hours Still got three to go It always ends where it begins You got your broken wings I got my sewn up hard Girl, | ||
| all these fucked up things They keep us torn apart It happens all the time I blow it every time People change with time Call me anytime, girl. | ||
| I miss you oh so often. | ||
| What's been said is done. | ||
| It's my only option. | ||
| I'll kill anyone for you Anyone, anywhere, anytime For you I'll kill anyone for you | ||
| Anyone, anywhere, anytime, for you Anyone, anywhere Anytime. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For you. | |
| For you That was awesome. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| You're killing it. | ||
| It's called Anyone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was really good. | |
| And that was on the same album? | ||
| Yeah, that song actually I wrote like the night my father died, actually. | ||
| Oddly enough, though. | ||
| Other than a reference to him, it's not that much about him, but except for the feeling, it creates things for me. | ||
| It's just about fucking everything up every day. | ||
| When you write, do you try to do that a lot? | ||
| Do you write things that are not necessarily about what you're singing? | ||
| Yeah, a lot of times you don't want to, like, you know, I mean, you'll lay out, I'm sure it's the same even within comedy writing, you'll lay out a certain amount of yourself within something and, you know, use it in context to make it something else. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| It'll become... | ||
| Because the emotion is what we go after. | ||
| It's all about emotion. | ||
| So it's like you want to tap into an emotion. | ||
| It's like, I want to recreate that emotion. | ||
| I'm going to have to use a piece of it to do it, but you don't want to necessarily... | ||
| Yeah, you're trying to tap into it. | ||
| It's a crazy thing that music can do. | ||
| Music is such a weird feeling. | ||
| It really changes the way your whole body feels. | ||
| You tingle and shit. | ||
| I'm really stoned too. | ||
| I feel like I'm hypnotized or something right now. | ||
| You think somebody could talk you into something right now? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Let's not change the subject. | ||
| Yeah, well, that's one of the things about cannabis. | ||
| Cannabis and the connection with music. | ||
| You really, you know, I hate being that person. | ||
| They go, dude, you gotta try it, you gotta try it. | ||
| But if it wasn't for weed, I think I would be missing out on a lot of the levels of enjoyment that are possible. | ||
| Because there's some levels of enjoyment when you're high, and one of them is listening to the music. | ||
| When you're high and you listen to, like, Comfortably Numb, you know, you hit some old-school Pink Floyd when you're high, and you hear all the subtle nuances to the song that you never recognized before, and it's just, it overcomes you in a wave. | ||
| It's what I like to refer to as the highest common denominator. | ||
| It's like when we all hit that intelligent moment. | ||
| There's a lot of music that caters straightly to bass, nature, and bass. | ||
| Then there's that music that really inspires to do what we're talking about, like find that emotion, find that thing, and really accurately describe it somehow, where the next person says, fuck, me too. | ||
| Damn, how did you know that about me? | ||
| How did you know how to say that about me? | ||
| When you do that in a song, or a joke, half the reason the real belly laughs come from motherfuckers who are like, I know exactly what he's talking about, and he's so fucking right about it. | ||
| When you hit some certain lyrics and people just go, oh, that's my fucking song. | ||
| That's my song. | ||
| He's playing my song. | ||
| There's certain songs that become your song, man. | ||
| You just want to hear them. | ||
| They give you a feeling. | ||
| I can remember being... | ||
| A kid, like, right out of high school. | ||
| And I was at a friend of mine's house. | ||
| And he was having a little backyard party. | ||
| Everybody was laughing. | ||
| Everybody was having a good time. | ||
| It was like life had not gotten too complicated yet. | ||
| I was still, like, only 18. And Sweet Home Alabama came on. | ||
| He had a little boombox. | ||
| That fucking song. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| It was... | ||
| Oh, right away, it was like we were smiling and laughing and drinking beers and talking shit. | ||
| That song was... | ||
| Oh, whatever. | ||
| I don't know what the key is. | ||
| Sounds good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That song will always keep on turning. | |
| I don't know the whole song. | ||
| Ha ha ha. | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That was a great goddamn song. | ||
| That's an all-time classic. | ||
| I used to do one for Snoop. | ||
| That was a... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sweet home California Where the cribs stay all wet blue It was funny. | |
| It's awesome. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You hang out with Snoop a lot? | |
| I mean, I wouldn't say a lot because, you know, lives are lives. | ||
| And he's like one of them dudes. | ||
| He's like Dana White, man. | ||
| I'm gonna fucking wake up in a different place every fucking day of his life. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I mean, I love traveling and working. | ||
| There's a limit, dude. | ||
| I gotta be at home. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Gotta drive my car once in a while, you know, hit the olive bar like I'm talking about, you know. | ||
| Y'all know the olive bar. | ||
| No, the olive bar. | ||
| Brian, we've already discussed this with him. | ||
| Stop being stupid. | ||
| At the Ralph's. | ||
| Yeah, Ralph's. | ||
| Ralph's olive bar. | ||
| Or Gelson's sometimes has a nice one. | ||
| Whole Foods, that's a good one, too. | ||
| Whole Foods, that's a good one, too. | ||
| Yes, they have a good one. | ||
| They got the bright green olives that you rarely see. | ||
| I'm all about them. | ||
| I'm all about them, dude. | ||
| With the pits. | ||
| I'm down with olives. | ||
| Olives are disgusting. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| I hate all those. | ||
| Bro, to you. | ||
| How about a little respect? | ||
| I can't get into them. | ||
| It tastes like black licorice vegetables. | ||
| Yeah, I love it. | ||
| Sounds good. | ||
| Give me more. | ||
| It's good for you. | ||
| Hard to grow, too. | ||
| Some places where they really didn't have much nutrients. | ||
| But they're growing these stupid olives. | ||
| Olives will grow on the side of a dirty hill with no rain. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| Gas all the people in Greece. | ||
| Yeah, and then you have to treat them before you eat them. | ||
| Unless you're a dog. | ||
| My dogs eat them right off the fucking ground. | ||
| They're constantly eating olives. | ||
| I'm like, you creepy bitches. | ||
| And then they get diarrhea. | ||
| Now you know. | ||
| That doesn't happen to me. | ||
| Dogs eating olives? | ||
| No, diarrhea. | ||
| When you eat olives? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, but I'm talking about some shit on the ground. | ||
| When a dog eats olives that they found on the ground, you're not supposed to do that. | ||
| What gives you diarrhea? | ||
| You got a problem with the digestive tract, son? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck? | |
| Is that going to be something you're going to store in the bank for later or something? | ||
| Well, he has two questions for you. | ||
| That's one of them. | ||
| And the other one is, do you believe in Bigfoot? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I already said who killed Biggie already once. | ||
| Yeah, we already did that one. | ||
| But Do You Believe in Bigfoot is a good one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The funny thing is I just watched an in-depth show on one of these things called... | ||
| It's like fucking... | ||
| Like about... | ||
| This show on History Channel or whatnot, it's all about connecting the ancient world with aliens. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Ancient aliens. | ||
| Is that what it's called? | ||
| Yeah, on the History Channel. | ||
| And one of them, they're trying to say Bigfoot is possibly some kind of hybrid alien creature. | ||
| Is it possible that Bigfoot maybe an alien? | ||
| And that he's traveling interdimensionally, and that's why we're never catching him, because he's moving through portals of time and space that we can't possibly understand. | ||
| Well, it could be. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Let's make a show. | ||
| Didn't this guy die? | ||
| The guy who, like, said he perpetrated the whole Bigfoot thing and, like, they found all these, like, casts and things he made to make foots and what? | ||
| No. | ||
| Am I wrong about that? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| There's more than one person, first of all. | ||
| There's been a lot of people. | ||
| I remember a few years ago, a guy died and they were like, he says everything was a hoax. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| There's been people that have done hoaxes. | ||
| I checked out after that episode. | ||
| See, there have been people that have done hoaxes. | ||
| There's no question about it. | ||
| There's been a lot. | ||
| But if there's not one guy, if there have been hoaxes, there have been hoaxes all over the fucking country and all over the Pacific Northwest. | ||
| There's a lot of shit in the Pacific Northwest where it's like Monkey Canyon, Ape Creek, Ape Bluffs. | ||
| It's ape. | ||
| A lot of ape shit. | ||
| And one of the reasons is because... | ||
| The Pacific Northwest coast of the United States has a long history of Bigfoot sightings. | ||
| Is it people are high as fuck and they just see a bear walking on two legs? | ||
| It's possible. | ||
| Who the fuck knows? | ||
| Is it possible that there was a big primate that used to live in the woods? | ||
| That's possible, too, man. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's possible. | ||
| I don't say it's impossible. | ||
| I'm just saying, at this point, really, all the technology, iPhones, this, that, and the other, nobody's caught a flick of the dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| You would think that. | ||
| Nobody's caught a flick. | ||
| And if they do catch a flick, it's like fucking... | ||
| I just saw something on Yahoo or something just in the last couple days about a guy who says he caught the best picture ever of the Loch Ness Monster. | ||
| Yeah, I saw that. | ||
| And it was like a little kind of spine, even in the article. | ||
| It says it looks like it was a manatee or something. | ||
| Yeah, and if the Loch Ness monster was real, even if it was a real thing, it wouldn't fuck with, like, a great white shark. | ||
| A great white shark, which is a real thing, is way crazier than this stupid Loch Ness monster. | ||
| The Loch Ness monster's not killing anybody. | ||
| Unless it's a dragon. | ||
| They had to shut down the beaches in Santa Barbara. | ||
| Unless the Loch Ness is a dragon, Joe. | ||
| What if the Loch Ness was a dragon that lived in her water? | ||
| Oh, it actually has, like, fire? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, but there's no evidence of that. | ||
| Last dragon. | ||
| Okay, well, what if it was a unicorn? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha! | |
| But my point is... | ||
| Y'all are watching too much of that Game of Thrones, man. | ||
| That's what it seems like to me. | ||
| It's the greatest show of all time. | ||
| It's up there. | ||
| I have it tied with... | ||
| See, I only got into Breaking Bad recently. | ||
| Like, right before this new season started. | ||
| Like, Danny Boy had always been trying to tell me that's a great show. | ||
| I got so bored on my last tour traveling, I downloaded, like, all the seasons. | ||
| And they had like a special deal, like 30 bucks, and you get all four seasons. | ||
| I was like, screw it, I'll buy it. | ||
| I started watching it. | ||
| I did not stop for like six days watching Breaking Bad. | ||
| I have to get back to it, because I did it from this whole right tattoo, my right sleeve. | ||
| The whole time I did it, Aaron Della Vadova guru tattoo, holla at your boy. | ||
| While he was doing it, I listened to, or watched rather the whole first season. | ||
| I was like, god damn, this is a bizarre show. | ||
| It gets better, dude. | ||
| They haven't let me down yet. | ||
| Like, I'm waiting for the... | ||
| It's nice. | ||
| It's a good show. | ||
| What is his name? | ||
| Bryan Cranston? | ||
| Is that his name? | ||
| The lead actor? | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| The dude who plays his... | ||
| The younger dude was in one of my videos many years ago. | ||
| White Trash Beautiful. | ||
| What's his real name? | ||
| I forget. | ||
| We just had him over on the studio the other day. | ||
| Man, I see his name all the time. | ||
| Who did you have been here with? | ||
| Naughty Show, but at the last second his manager said that he can't do it, so he just had to sit here. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What? | ||
| Because he's in some kind of bullying campaign, so he's not allowed to do any adult Themed podcast until because it's like it for the kids and stuff so he's in a weird contract. | ||
| What is bullying you have to do with sex? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Aaron something or Aaron? | ||
| Isn't it weird how they like they can decide what your personality should be like? | ||
| They can decide what you attach yourself to? | ||
| He was in one of my videos. | ||
| He played a truck driver. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| White Trash Beautiful. | ||
| That's the video. | ||
| Oh, that's awesome. | ||
| Jesse sniffing fucking math in there, dude. | ||
| Yeah, that's an unusual show. | ||
| I've heard The Wire is really awesome, too. | ||
| I loved that show, but that show's over. | ||
| That might be the best cop show ever. | ||
| Never watched it. | ||
| I watched a couple episodes, and apparently it gets really good. | ||
| I didn't give it a chance. | ||
| The first two seasons, I kick off really hard, and then they go off into this other tangent where they almost lost me at that time, where they went off to a whole different part of the city and did a whole new story. | ||
| It felt like they were scrapping the whole earlier shit, but... | ||
| It all kind of comes around into a circle. | ||
| And it was one of the best endings I think I've ever seen. | ||
| No, I won't tell you. | ||
| I'm just saying it ends well. | ||
| It doesn't leave you like, oh, it felt like a complete project. | ||
| All right, I'm going to have to get to it now. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| Everybody says you have to. | ||
| Yeah, The Wire's good. | ||
| You have to get a chance. | ||
| The Wire's great. | ||
| I just love that they can do shit like what they can do with Game of Thrones now. | ||
| I mean, you can make, like, incredible special effects for a fraction of what it used to cost. | ||
| They can do it with, like, regular computers now. | ||
| I shook Johnny Cash's hand in my video. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Not even shake his hand. | ||
| I gave him a pound. | ||
| Like, bye-bye. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh yeah, dude. | ||
| In the Vols in Prison video. | ||
| When I made that song, I'm serious about shit. | ||
| Is that online? | ||
| Can we see that? | ||
| I went to Nashville and met with his son just to be like, look, are y'all cool with this? | ||
| Because I was mixing it with hip-hop with the Cypress Hill beat on the version that's on the record. | ||
| So I wanted to be respectful as I could to Johnny Cash's legacy. | ||
| So I took it to them and I was like, yo, you liked the song, you loved it. | ||
| And then, when I was thinking of ideas to do the video, we came across the stuff, and I had known about it, but I'd forgotten about it. | ||
| They had just released this DVD box set of the Johnny Cash variety show. | ||
| And so I bought it and started watching it, and I was like, how great would it be if I was on the Johnny Cash show? | ||
| And there it was, it's just behind you. | ||
| Like, he had his own, he had like a variety show, and like... | ||
| They let us use the footage, man. | ||
| They liked it. | ||
| I mean, that's something they could have easily been like, hell no. | ||
| You can't use that. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| That's so awesome. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I hear that train coming, coming around the bend. | |
| And I ain't seen the sunshine since I don't know where... | ||
| They're singing along! | ||
| The crap is... | ||
| Yeah, it's all crap. | ||
| People from the 50s. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's dragging on. | |
| That train just keeps a rolling On down the sand and tone And I was just a baby Like all those edits and fades Or like the style the show would use, you know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is funny. | ||
| It was like, you know, but the point is, like, you were talking about how cheaply you can do some of this stuff, man. | ||
| It really didn't cost that much at all because the technology is there, you know? | ||
| Wouldn't you love to be able to perform for a crowd like that, a real crowd like that, and just blow their motherfucking minds? | ||
| The very end is me and him sitting next to each other, and he gives me a pound. | ||
| I've always felt like what would it be like to be able to go back to the 1950s and do stand-up and just fuck their brains up sideways. | ||
| They would have no idea what you're doing. | ||
| They'd be like, what is this guy saying? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What are you talking about? | ||
| Just cursing you'd be. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Could you imagine going up and doing... | ||
| Did you see that dog? | ||
| That was funny, man. | ||
| Could you imagine if you did jump around in front of a 1950s crowd? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that is awesome! | |
| Blow it up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How'd you do that? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I sat next to a dude. | ||
| I sat next to a dude and he was wearing a black jacket and gave him a pound. | ||
| And the next thing you know is Johnny Cash giving me a pound back, man. | ||
| That shit was crazy. | ||
| Wow, that looks good. | ||
| That's some Forrest Gump shit right there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Forrest Gump shit. | |
| That's amazing. | ||
| You know, that's what it was. | ||
| It was like, let's get on some Forrest Gump type shit. | ||
| That's amazing, man. | ||
| Jump onto the old Johnny Cash show. | ||
| What do you think would happen if you went in front of a 1950s crowd and did jump around? | ||
| Do you think they would be able to deal with it? | ||
| Fucking look at you like you were bat shit crazy, man. | ||
| Imagine if there was no hip hop, okay? | ||
| So there was no amalgamation of hip hop. | ||
| There was no what the fuck you guys were doing. | ||
| Bagpipes and shit. | ||
| It was all rowdy. | ||
| Jump up, jump up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They would just look at you like you were fucking an alien. | |
| I'm sure of it. | ||
| They'd be frightened by the sounds that the song made, first of all. | ||
| They'd be like... | ||
| There was no bragging music back then. | ||
| Not like that. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's like, the leader of the pack. | ||
| Vroom, vroom. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| You come along and jump around. | ||
| God damn. | ||
| It's funny how the culture just sort of evolves and changes. | ||
| And it's hard to imagine it ever going back to where it was in the 50s or the clothes they wore in the 70s or any of that shit. | ||
| It's never going to happen. | ||
| But you can see where back then that was what was up. | ||
| That's what was up. | ||
| You could see it all laid out. | ||
| You could see it all moving forward. | ||
| We're just tired of the old shit. | ||
| We need something new. | ||
| It gets more and more complicated. | ||
| We live in a fucking weird maze of humanity, man. | ||
| Human beings are the wackiest motherfuckers of all time. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of broken machines out there, man. | ||
| There's no manuals. | ||
| Everybody gets a Ferrari with no fucking owner's manual. | ||
| We're all just grinding gears and running into trees and shit. | ||
| That's how we do it. | ||
| Not figuring out how to use the mind correctly. | ||
| You got another one for us? | ||
| I got as many as you need, man. | ||
| I do this. | ||
| I know you do. | ||
| I'd be like, Joe, you got another joke for me? | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm trying to think what to play here. | |
| Do you do any other kind of covers? | ||
| I can really butcher some Bill Withers. | ||
| This is really bad. | ||
| Bad guitar playing, but I like this song. | ||
| and I'll play it since you want to cover it now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. | ||
| Grandma's hand Clapped in church on Sunday morning. | ||
| Grandma's hand Played the tambourine so well. | ||
| Grandma's hand Used to issue an old warning She sang | ||
| Billy, don't you run so fast Might fall on a piece of glass Might be snakes down in that grass Grandma's hand Grandma's hand Soothe the local unwed mother Grandma's hand Used to ache sometimes and swell Grandma's hand Used to lift her face and tell her she said Baby | ||
| grandma understands That you really love that man Put yourself in Jesus' hands Grandma Grandma's hand used to give me a piece of candy. | ||
| Grandma's hand picked me up each time I fell. | ||
| Grandma's hand used to really come in handy. | ||
| She'd say, Matty, don't you whoop that boy. | ||
| What you want to spank him for? | ||
| He ain't dropped no apple core, but I don't have grandma anymore. | ||
| When I get to heaven, I'll look for Grandma's hand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was awesome. | |
| Shit. | ||
| You know, that's one of my heroes. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's beautiful, man. | ||
| You know, you've known 20 of his songs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like... | |
| Ain't no sunshine. | ||
| Lovely day. | ||
| Lovely day. | ||
| That dude's the shit. | ||
| Bill Withers. | ||
| If you ain't seen it, you should check out Still Bill. | ||
| It's a documentary about him. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| Is he still alive? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But he has a studio at his house. | ||
| He makes music and locks it away. | ||
| He don't release it. | ||
| Nothing, dude. | ||
| He just makes music. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| He's just on some fuck the music business. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| What about all the people that would love to hear it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I got to re-watch it, but I remember, because I watched it on the bus where you get, you know, I watch it for a little while, I watch it for a little while, but it's like, you know, his daughter's in the business. | ||
| I think he's just, I mean, his songs, I'm sure his catalog makes a lot of money, man. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| Because you hear his songs everywhere. | ||
| Movies, that Use Me song, and Ain't No Sunshine, and Lovely Day, and Who is he and what is he to you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
A man with past just tried to stare me down. | |
| But when he looked at you, you looked at the ground. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Those songs are everywhere. | ||
| Grandma's Hands, that's a classic. | ||
| It's got a song about a Vietnam veteran called I Can't Write Left-Handed by the guy who lost his right arm in the war and he can't write left-handed. | ||
| It's crazy, man. | ||
| Deep songs, I like that. | ||
| There's all the hip-hop heroes I have, and then there's cats like Bill Withers, Neil Young, Tom Waits. | ||
| Those are the cats on the songwriting side of things that tickle my fancy. | ||
| Yeah, Neil Young has written some pretty intense lyrics. | ||
| He's a good dude. | ||
| I was working at a concert venue when Neil Young was playing there and a riot broke out. | ||
| They had to shut the show down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh yeah? | |
| Yeah, it was in the 80s. | ||
| There was a lawn area. | ||
| It was called Great Woods. | ||
| It's in Mansfield, Massachusetts. | ||
| I think I know Great Woods. | ||
| And there's the area that's covered by a structure. | ||
| Yeah, we call them sheds. | ||
| Shed? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| And then there's a back area where it's grassy. | ||
| Like the amphitheaters is what they are. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And the grassy area, they started fires. | ||
| People were cold, and so they lit things on fire. | ||
| And then the security came over and told them they got to put the fire out. | ||
| And next thing you know, all hell broke loose, and it was crazy, and they shut the show down. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Fucking people were lighting fires. | ||
| They were like, let's just start a bonfire. | ||
| In the lawn. | ||
| Hippies always want to have a fire. | ||
| There were just too many people that were fucked up, too. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Yeah, it was interesting, man. | ||
| But getting to see him on stage from really close up, I was like 19 when I had that gig. | ||
| It's a weird thing for a young kid to see someone that they've seen in movies or heard on a record, and then they're like, right there! | ||
| They're right there! | ||
| It's a strange thing for young people to... | ||
| I really dig Neil Young, man. | ||
| My father was big on Neil Young, so it's one of the things that I... When you're young and you hear this music and you kind of just reject it on general principle because it's your parents' music. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then 20 years later you re-examine it and you're like, wow, man, I know all these songs and they're really good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's kind of where all that comes from. | ||
| I had a good memory for the music. | ||
| Yeah, there was a lot of music that I had to go back to. | ||
| What is that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Listening to the tide slowly turning. | |
| Who sings that? | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
| Wash your heartache away. | ||
| Moody Blues. | ||
| Moody Blues. | ||
| My parents had that and I fucking didn't like it because my stepfather was always playing. | ||
| I'm like, this shit's annoying. | ||
| I want to play some Kiss. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I couldn't get into it. | ||
| I was like, that's his old man whack music. | ||
| I just couldn't. | ||
| But as I got older, I would listen to a Moody Blues song and go, my God, that's a fucking masterpiece. | ||
| Like, holy shit, Moody Blues don't get any respect. | ||
| Nobody's like, I'm a huge Moody Blues fan. | ||
| Yeah, you're right. | ||
| That doesn't come up. | ||
| Pull that song up, just the beginning part of it, because this is a beautiful song, man. | ||
| And I couldn't appreciate it. | ||
| What's it called? | ||
| Story of Your Eyes, is that it? | ||
| I'm not a big moody blues fan. | ||
| Story in your eyes, moody blues. | ||
| You're not a big moody blues fan. | ||
| It's not even that I don't like them. | ||
| Honestly, I barely recognize the song you sang me. | ||
| I bet you've heard it before. | ||
| You've heard this. | ||
| Yes, I've heard this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I've definitely heard this. | |
| Oh, fuck yeah. | ||
| This is pre-internet bitches. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can you feel this? | |
| Listen to the times slowly turning. | ||
| Wash your heart, break away. | ||
| I didn't do it at all, man. | ||
| Hey, but that's music, you know what I mean? | ||
| You know what I love about that song, man? | ||
| First of all, that dude must have got a mountain of pussy from singing that song. | ||
| I mean, I want to fuck, and I'm a guy, and it's years later. | ||
| Kind of reminds me also of some Blue Oyster Cult kind of sound. | ||
| I was never big on them either. | ||
| Oh, I love that song, man. | ||
| Story in Your Eyes. | ||
| One of the reasons why I love it is why some dudes love old cars. | ||
| You know, it's not just a song to me. | ||
| It's like a little historic ride. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Yeah, so when I listen to Jimi Hendrix, when I listen to Voodoo Child, it's not a song to me. | ||
| It's a historic ride. | ||
| I'm going to go on a ride as a dead man. | ||
| And he's rocking the shit out of my car on the 210. I'm driving in my car and a dude who's been dead for decades. | ||
| And simultaneously transporting you to probably the first time in your life where you heard that. | ||
| Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I always associate, one of the reasons why I like classic rock so much is like, that's what I associate with that Leonard Skinner song when we're all at a barbecue. | ||
| Like, right out of high school. | ||
| Party. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's fun, fun music. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Jimi Hendrix, man. | ||
| Listening to that shit in 2012. He's dead for decades. | ||
| But all you have to do is find that shit on your thing. | ||
| Press play. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can you do it with that? | |
| Oh, I don't know that song. | ||
| I used to know it. | ||
| I used to know a Jimi Hendrix song, now I can't, for the life of me, can't remember it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right, is that? | |
| Hey, Joe, right. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| Where you doin' with that gun in your hand? | ||
| I know a little bit. | ||
| It's one of the things you pull out for barbecues or beach fire pits. | ||
| You add an effect to your voice. | ||
| Isn't it interesting? | ||
| With dudes like Hendrix, there's certain iconic figures like James Dean and Hendrix and Morrison. | ||
| They had an impact and then they're in the picture forever. | ||
| They're in the picture forever. | ||
| You're never getting away from Jimi Hendrix. | ||
| If there's a guitar, if someone's talking about guitar, If you want to use a sample, one of my favorite songs ever is someone made a mashup of 99 Problems with Voodoo Child. | ||
| It's fucking sensational. | ||
| It's hard to fuck with because you got Jay-Z singing 99 Problems, which is a great song, and then you got Jimi Hendrix playing the Voodoo Child soundtrack over it. | ||
| Ugh. | ||
| Certain dudes. | ||
| But isn't it crazy that certain dudes, like, there's certain parts of society where if you have an immense amount of success and then die young, you're just in the vernacular forever. | ||
| You're one of the characters. | ||
| Also, not just the success those people have had, I mean, like, there was an impact. | ||
| Like, nothing sounded like Jimi Hendrix before Jimi Hendrix. | ||
| I mean, even the guys at the time, like, Clapton and And Keith Richards and all these dudes were like, jaw dropped, like, what the f- this dude's ruining it for everybody. | ||
| You know, that kind of thing. | ||
| Janis Joplin, you know, nobody had seen a white girl sing with that kind of just anguish. | ||
| You know, there was- at that moment, a lot of- That era is like basically nothing, the only thing new in the last 30 years, truly new in music, was hip-hop. | ||
| And even that was recycled old stuff. | ||
| But it was just the delivery of it that was new. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Everything else is a recycling of blues music, jazz music, classical music. | ||
| It's all recycled. | ||
| The Beatles did everything. | ||
| There's no trick that's been done that the Beatles probably didn't pull off already. | ||
| With only 8 tracks at their availability while Cats today have 5,000 tracks at their availability. | ||
| How does that work when you say tracks? | ||
| I know what 8 tracks is. | ||
| In their day, to have more than 8 things on separate... | ||
| The quality of recording depends a lot of times on how much you can separate the individual instruments and deal with their balance and the EQs of them and getting each individual sounding sharp and having what we call a shelf. | ||
| Which means all sounds are audible, but they all occupy different spaces. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Each instrument is equal and you feel the weight the way they should, but they have different shelves. | ||
| So if you looked at it on the graph, there would be eight separate columns. | ||
| The things that when you were high, all of a sudden that you thought were all together that you can find the separation in, that's from multi-track recording and fucking being able to Otherwise, you had to do everything. | ||
| And the Beatles made records that had orchestrations in the middle of them. | ||
| So they were bouncing seven tracks down to one track. | ||
| So they were mixing while they were doing other things. | ||
| It's bananas when you think about what they pulled off making records with the technology that was available to them. | ||
| Now it would almost be like, oh, that's easy stuff. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Back then, it was like they had to invent ways to do what they were doing, literally, every day. | ||
| A lot of musicians had to do that with their pedals and effects. | ||
| Jimi Hendrix always had a guy around and him probably toying with things like, how can we make this pedal sound different? | ||
| Because there was no mass-marketed crybaby pedals and all that shit. | ||
| People made their own shit, basically. | ||
| What a crazy time. | ||
| It's crazy when you think about how much it radically changed in the 60s when that came along from the 50s. | ||
| What two different eras have ever been separated by that much change? | ||
| The 50s to the 60s. | ||
| That is a really strange time for human history. | ||
| Drugs, man. | ||
| Some drugs came into play, man. | ||
| I'm telling you, in a major way. | ||
| Fuck, yeah. | ||
| That's exactly what it is. | ||
| Psychedelics and cocaine. | ||
| LSD when it was legal. | ||
| No one knew. | ||
| Meanwhile, everybody was taking it. | ||
| Everyone from Steve Jobs to... | ||
| Scientists and professors. | ||
| It changed my life. | ||
| I wouldn't recommend it to somebody at my stage of life to do it, but when I did it, it benefited me. | ||
| Good trips, bad trips, all that shit, like, made my mind a stronger thing, you know? | ||
| I also have homies that are one of the, you know, there was a gang of us and there's also a couple of them that are still kind of fucked up. | ||
| You know, a little off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, what happened to him? | ||
| Oh, yeah, you know, back in the day. | ||
| He's the guy, we always call him the guy that never came back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| That's the guy that never came back. | ||
| He stayed. | ||
| Pink Floyd had a song about that. | ||
| Yeah, the original guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a scary thing, but I always wonder. | ||
| Maybe he just can't fucking swim. | ||
| Get back over here, bitch. | ||
| Get your mental swimming together. | ||
| I wonder if it's possible that he just gave up. | ||
| Well, some people aren't prepared. | ||
| I mean, LSD, I remember, and if there's any physicists out there or doctors that know different, I vaguely remember we read about it. | ||
| We looked it up and like... | ||
| That basically the actual L25 drug that you take is gone by the time you're getting hallucinations. | ||
| It's like it triggers something in your mind like a gland or something in your mind that activates basically all the electrical outlets of your mind instead of being shut down opens it all up. | ||
| So basically you ain't hallucinating nothing that's not already in your brain. | ||
| Really? | ||
| That's acid? | ||
| Basically. | ||
| Wow, I didn't know that. | ||
| I could be wrong, but I took a lot of it when I was young. | ||
| I was also told once, it's in comparison to supposedly, and again, if this is ignorance that I'm spouting, I heard it somewhere else and I'm repeating it. | ||
| I am ignorant for saying it, but I usually have a pretty good sense for what makes sense and what can be true. | ||
| I've heard of swamis that cut the bottom of their tongues so they can swallow their tongues. | ||
| The reason supposedly for that is there's Apparently some gland behind this area inside your passage where they can reach up with their tongue supposedly and touch it. | ||
| What? | ||
| And it creates the same chemical effect of hallucinating. | ||
| So they cut their tongue? | ||
| I apologize for the ignorance if it's ignorance. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| I've heard of the swamis cutting their tongue. | ||
| Why else would they cut it if not to swallow it? | ||
| Let's look it up. | ||
| See, I don't Google shit enough. | ||
| My brain just takes in information and says, I'm going to say that for a podcast one day. | ||
| That seems like something you would say when you're tripping to freak the other person out. | ||
| It could be. | ||
| That's why I said, hey, this might be ignorance. | ||
| I pre-qualified it, so nobody can give me no shit. | ||
| That's creepy. | ||
| If that's true, that's really creepy. | ||
| I ain't going to court and swearing on that shit, but I've heard this and read similar things. | ||
| But who knows who wrote those things? | ||
| You're absolutely right. | ||
| I could have been completely high and been reading the guy next to me scribblings. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| I found a terrible thing. | ||
| There's a tongue-cutting ritual where women cut off their tongue. | ||
| They cut off part of their tongue to honor a politician. | ||
| Yeah, this is awesome. | ||
| What I understand is the part of your tongue that keeps it attached, that little string underneath your tongue, is what they cut. | ||
| This woman actually had surgery to cut off a piece of her tongue so she couldn't talk. | ||
| Awesome. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Was there a good reason? | ||
| There's no good reason. | ||
| She'd have to be crazy as fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like that episode of the Twilight Zone where the guy bets him he can't talk for a year or something, and then he comes in and is like, I have to renege on the bad mannequin, and the guy cut his tongue out. | ||
| Wow, this is the... | ||
| I shouldn't even be reading this. | ||
| This woman was trying to get a job that pays $45 a month. | ||
| And she was trying to cut her tongue. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| What the fuck is wrong with me? | ||
| I can't even find anything about swamis. | ||
| You know, swamis swallowing their tongues? | ||
| Maybe I hallucinated that whole thing, man. | ||
| Yeah, these are all dudes cutting their tongue off because it sucks. | ||
| No, man. | ||
| Tongue swallowing? | ||
| Cut his tongue out. | ||
| This guy cut his tongue out. | ||
| How about tongue swallowing? | ||
| Tongue swallowing. | ||
| Let's Google that one. | ||
| Tongue swallowing butthole. | ||
| Is that really something that came up? | ||
| He adds butthole to everything. | ||
| Nowadays, you put a couple words in there and a whole list of shit comes up. | ||
| It's like, is this what you were looking for? | ||
| Some crazy things happened. | ||
| Swami magic. | ||
| Now a Swami is attached to a tongue swallowing. | ||
| Tongue glass eating razor blades. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| Because I should know if this is true or not. | ||
| Tongue cutting is similar to what you see in The Amazing Jonathan do. | ||
| He uses a... | ||
| No, this is different. | ||
| This is like a stunt that people do. | ||
| Why do they call it swaminess? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| There's an association there. | ||
| I'm guaranteeing it. | ||
| I believe you. | ||
| And it's not a radical feminist one. | ||
| Cut your tongue, swallow it. | ||
| This ass is hungry for tongues. | ||
| Should I Google that? | ||
| Yeah, I'm not finding anything there. | ||
| But there is a gland in the middle of your brain called the pineal gland, but I don't think you can reach it with your tongue. | ||
| That is the gland that supposedly is the third eye. | ||
| That's what they talk about. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Well, that's the gland I'm referring to. | ||
| See, I mean, so some of my shit, I'm telling you. | ||
| Yeah, it's close. | ||
| Keep looking. | ||
| Keep looking. | ||
| Because I'm telling you there's going to be something that I don't make things up unless they're really good. | ||
| Maybe I spelled Swami wrong. | ||
| How do you spell Swami? | ||
| Alami. | ||
| Let's say Swami Third Eye Tongue. | ||
| See, if that's not a band, it should be. | ||
| Third Eye Tongue Swami. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Swami Tongue. | ||
| Swami. | ||
| Have you ever thought about doing anything other than music? | ||
| Like, if you see, like, Mark McGrath hosting some celebrity show with a suit on, does that make you go, what the... | ||
| I wouldn't do that. | ||
| No, but I mean, like, I know Mark. | ||
| I've known him a long time, man. | ||
| But it makes total sense for a dude like him. | ||
| Like, his personality is kind of built for those... | ||
| He likes to be a host or something like that? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Do you think he would ever... | ||
| Even his... | ||
| Even the way he performs in a band, it kind of caters to that kind of entertainment. | ||
| He wants to entertain. | ||
| When you see Justin Timberlake doing movies, and you see a lot of rappers have done movies, do you ever think about doing any acting or any other kind of stuff? | ||
| I did that a long time ago. | ||
| Did you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not my thing. | ||
| I think if you're good at it, do it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| God knows we wouldn't have... | ||
| Mark Wahlberg's a pretty good actor, man. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah, he's a very good actor. | ||
| We wouldn't have known that by his rap career, though. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So... | ||
| Do what makes you feel good, man. | ||
| Tupac was an amazing actor. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I just always wanted to know if you would... | ||
| Personally, I'm in my... | ||
| I would like to, you know, the older I get, I think about, you know, maybe, you know, some youngsters, you know, get some... | ||
| produce some younger acts or something. | ||
| Yeah, that'd be a great thing. | ||
| But that's, you know, still music, you know. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| Stick with what you love, right? | ||
| That doesn't mean bombard me with demos either, please. | ||
| Oh, do you get a lot of that? | ||
| Nah, I don't. | ||
| People hand you things. | ||
| I try to give things respectful looks if something about it intrigues me, but if you just start spamming me with shit, I just block you. | ||
| The worst thing ever is when people want you to read their scripts. | ||
| Like, bitch, do you know how long that takes to read a script? | ||
| It's a fucking... | ||
| There's 110 pages of this bitch. | ||
| You want to read this whole thing? | ||
| That's like asking a written... | ||
| Give me the lowdown. | ||
| If the lowdown, you know... | ||
| I'm not a script reader. | ||
| What am I doing here? | ||
| The fuck, man? | ||
| Do you want to later swim past the breakers and watch the world die with my haircut? | ||
| That's where you're at right now, right? | ||
| You are. | ||
| What was that band? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Was it EverQuest? | ||
| No. | ||
| What the fuck is that band? | ||
| Santa Monica? | ||
| Oh, Everclear. | ||
| Everclear. | ||
| Everclear. | ||
| You do. | ||
| You look like the Everclear guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But that dude is like you if you had AIDS. Hey, did you get annoyed with that? | |
| That guy having a similar name at the time? | ||
| Because it was kind of weird that there was all these Ever things. | ||
| Yeah, you know. | ||
| You should threaten that guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, Everclear is a very famous liquor. | |
| It's weird that they would pick Everclear as their name. | ||
| There's another one, Evergreen. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, I got a call one day, speaking to Neil Young, we were talking about him earlier. | ||
| I got a call one day, like, my buddy was like, yo, man, you're playing at the Forum, man? | ||
| With Neil Young? | ||
| I was like, what, I am? | ||
| I was like, I'm at home, dog. | ||
| I'm not playing at the Forum. | ||
| I was like, I don't know what the hell you're talking about. | ||
| It was on my laptop, and I googled it, and it's some band called Evergreen. | ||
| This is my friend calling me, by the way. | ||
| I'm like, can you fucking read, man? | ||
| But that was kind of like, yo, they hadn't been, I mean, I've been around 20 some odd years, man. | ||
| Come on now. | ||
| That's weird, though. | ||
| It's alright. | ||
| Because it is a different name. | ||
| You can't really own Ever. | ||
| I stole it from a fucking boxing glove, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
| True, right? | ||
| The name was Eric Rocks Everlasting. | ||
| And then, you know, that was like my E-Rock E was my original, like, kind of rap name. | ||
| And I just kind of shortened it one day. | ||
| It was like Everlast. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| It's amazing how much... | ||
| And back then, not knowing copyright laws or anything like that, I was like, I already got a fucking logo. | ||
| I really kind of thought that. | ||
| I was like 17. I was like, yeah, I already got a fucking logo. | ||
| I'll just steal that logo. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I didn't really think about it. | ||
| Was there anybody else trying to be Everlast? | ||
| No. | ||
| Seems like a good name. | ||
| Seems like a name like that somebody else might want to swipe. | ||
| There's like a DJ that calls himself Everlast, which really I find funny. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Wait, why do I feel like I met this dude? | ||
| I don't know, but it's kind of a jerk-off move. | ||
| That's the one that would probably piss me off. | ||
| Like, Evergreen? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nah. | |
| Everclear? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nah. | |
| DJ Everlast? | ||
| Get the fuck off my nutsack, man. | ||
| Get the fuck off my nutsack, man. | ||
| Yeah, that's fucked up. | ||
| Yeah, I met this dude. | ||
| I'm pretty sure I met him in like... | ||
| If you meet him again, give him a little smack. | ||
| Give him a little smack. | ||
| Like, hey, hey, hey. | ||
| What if you met a dude and he's like, yo, man, I'm Fro Rogan, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm a comedian, dude. | |
| DJ Everlast Music. | ||
| He's on Myspace, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Tight. | |
| He's on Myspace. | ||
| He's on Myspace. | ||
| Wow, dude. | ||
| I haven't even looked at Myspace in like six years. | ||
| Isn't it weird? | ||
| Myspace is still there, though. | ||
| I think I still have one, though. | ||
| But my management is the only people who even go near it, probably. | ||
| But how strange if you really stop and think about the fact that it's still there. | ||
| And nobody goes there anymore. | ||
| Like, what did they do to fuck it up so bad? | ||
| And they kind of set it all off. | ||
| Yeah, they set it all off. | ||
| They made Dane Cook. | ||
| If it wasn't for Myspace, I mean, Myspace, literally, there was an article, I will never forget, it was in People Magazine. | ||
| They're responsible for Tequila. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They jumped her the fuck off. | ||
| Thank God. | ||
| She's here for us now, man. | ||
| She had to provide us entertainment. | ||
| Be the first female juggalo or whatever. | ||
| MySpace was the shit at one point in time for clubs to want to promote like we had a gig. | ||
| You go on MySpace. | ||
| That's how you promote your gig. | ||
| Good luck now, bitch. | ||
| Joey Diaz stopped using it even. | ||
| When Joey Diaz stops using MySpace, it's over. | ||
| That's how he was writing his blogs. | ||
| He was writing them all on MySpace. | ||
| I have not literally even looked at it. | ||
| I haven't even thought to look at it. | ||
| It's an ancient thing to me. | ||
| It is, but it's so amazing that it happened so fast. | ||
| It was within a couple years. | ||
| It was giant. | ||
| Everybody was using it, and it was like, Facebook's better. | ||
| Fuck this. | ||
| And they just all left. | ||
| Look, my old MySpace. | ||
| It's still there. | ||
| Hey, look, there you are. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's hilarious, dude. | ||
| What's funny is my picture was like I had the same avatar for the longest time. | ||
| And then when I left my space, I just took myself out of the picture. | ||
| Like I used to be standing in front of this painting right here. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| You just cut it out. | ||
| Left the painting. | ||
| Left the painting there. | ||
| Brian's not here, man. | ||
| Jenna Jameson. | ||
| Yeah, it was a strange thing, MySpace. | ||
| Out of nowhere, takes off, everybody's on it, and then it goes away. | ||
| And then Facebook, then Twitter. | ||
| The crazy part is, if you remember, Facebook really wasn't that big, man. | ||
| And then what happened that changes these things? | ||
| Crazy world events change these things. | ||
| At least this is my perception of it. | ||
| You know, which is, you already heard my Swami story, so I could be way off here. | ||
| But if I remember correctly, not too many people were messing with Facebook until that Virginia Tech shooting. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And then they started, the news was like, the guy has a Facebook page, and then it's like, all of America. | ||
| I mean, that's when Facebook was around, people were messing with it. | ||
| But I'm talking about, it didn't go nuts until after that event. | ||
| Cut to Alex Jones going, well, what happened was Facebook engineered the shooting. | ||
| They got him. | ||
| It was a Manhattan Project type event. | ||
| It was top, top secret, and they brought him out to the desert. | ||
| I'm not selling you that. | ||
| I'm just selling you that when you hear Facebook 4,000 times on every 24-hour news network, you get curious about it, and people started looking and probably wanted to see the fucking Disturbed Fuckers page. | ||
| People want to see that kind of shit. | ||
| Then Twitter was... | ||
| On the bubble, I'm not saying these things weren't around. | ||
| I'm talking about when did they crack and go fucking global. | ||
| Twitter was the fucking Arab Spring. | ||
| I heard Friendster's offices was in Tower 7. Like the office of Friendster was in Tower 7 when it went down. | ||
| Really? | ||
| No. Dude. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I remember finding dudes in the news that killed somebody. | ||
| That one got by before I even knew about that kind of shit. | ||
| Friendster was old when I first heard of it. | ||
| Yeah, same here. | ||
| It's like CompuServe. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you remember that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Prodigy. | ||
| Yeah, Prodigy. | ||
| Did you ever have an Angel Fire website? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| But one of my homies went and he came home to the studio and had to grab something out of his email or something and he fired up America AOL. I was like... | ||
| I heard that. | ||
| That's exactly what I heard. | ||
| You've got mail. | ||
| I was like, man, that sounded just like that. | ||
| You've got mail. | ||
| I was like, you're still on America Online. | ||
| That's crazy, man. | ||
| I mean, but, you know, says the guy with an Earthlink address. | ||
| Earthlink. | ||
| Earthlink.net. | ||
| I wonder who was the guy that did the voice for, you've got mail. | ||
| I wonder. | ||
| It's probably not even a real human. | ||
| It was probably cool to date that dude and have sex with that dude during the time of the AOL boom. | ||
| He probably had some fun things to say in bed. | ||
| Do you think he was doing that? | ||
| He was just doing that voice everywhere? | ||
| That was his shit? | ||
| I'm gonna fuck you in the ass. | ||
| He was like Max Headroom? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Remember Max Headroom? | ||
| Had a little career doing that for a while. | ||
| Dude, they made a movie off his face. | ||
| You've got mail. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You've got mail. | |
| Do you remember when the dude would do something like kill somebody or something and you could go to his MySpace page? | ||
| Exactly my point about the like that's what like that Virginia Tech shit did for fuck because it was all college and all they talked about I remember on the news was like the guy wrote his whole like this whole thing on his Facebook page and Facebook page and the logo was up and that's when it went big man I'm telling you. | ||
| And what if you're right? | ||
| Makes sense. | ||
| Well, I mean, it certainly helped. | ||
| It certainly made people. | ||
| But I think Facebook offered what MySpace was already offering. | ||
| Just they did it way better. | ||
| They made it way less clunky. | ||
| It's just like they said on the thing, too. | ||
| It's way more exclusive. | ||
| Yeah, well, there's no glitter tags. | ||
| At the time, you know, only 5,000. | ||
| It had gotten out of control on MySpace tour. | ||
| It was like, I have 400,000 friends. | ||
| Like, not even famous people. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, regular people going out there on these trolls for more friends. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| I don't even look at my Facebook, really. | ||
| I'll be honest. | ||
| I started using my Facebook. | ||
| My fan page. | ||
| I post my shows on it. | ||
| I look at it, but I don't get into a lot of exchanges with people. | ||
| Like Dana's philosophy, like I was talking, he's like, man, you want to be big on the Twitter, just go at it with some of these fuckers. | ||
| I'm like, man, I ain't got the energy for that shit. | ||
| Somebody write some dumb shit to me, it's just like easy. | ||
| Let me go to your page right here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, block you. | ||
| Bye. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't need that in my life, man. | ||
| I write blocked and retweet them. | ||
| I retweet them and write blocked. | ||
| It's got to be funny for me to retweet it. | ||
| If it's just like stupidity, I'm not going to retweet it. | ||
| If it's funny and it's bad, I don't care if it's bad about me. | ||
| If it's funny, I'll go. | ||
| Okay, here you go. | ||
| I will do it because I don't think people realize how stupid what they're writing sounds. | ||
| Yeah, but now they're just going to do it. | ||
| Until other people respond to it. | ||
| But then they just do it just to get you. | ||
| I bet you're wrong. | ||
| I bet you're wrong. | ||
| I bet what happens is, first of all, I block them after I retweet them. | ||
| And then second of all, when you get the negativity back thrown at you by all these people who think you're an asshole for saying something stupid, Then you realize what it's like. | ||
| And you're like, what the fuck am I doing causing problems in my life for no reason? | ||
| See, I did that to the Sony people, and I felt bad because some people were like, why isn't his record online, dickbags? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, bitch. | |
| Hey, bitch! | ||
| Hey, you fuckers! | ||
| It's like, whoa, whoa, guys, I'm just trying to get the record up. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta give them very specific instructions on how to attack. | ||
| You can't just let them go loked out. | ||
| No, I kind of called them douchebags, and I was like, call these assholes and tell these douchebags to put my record out. | ||
| Ah, well. | ||
| No, it's my fault. | ||
| Yeah, you started it, man. | ||
| They're industry people, man. | ||
| If you're in the music industry, in my opinion, And this goes for anybody working for me that falls under this category, gets the same description. | ||
| If you're in the music industry and you don't make music, produce music, record music, or somehow put your hands on music, you're a leech and a parasite of cat proportions. | ||
| Has it always been like that, though? | ||
| It's set up. | ||
| The game is set up. | ||
| The game is set up. | ||
| And not only are you a parasite, but if you're in the music business and you don't make music, then you're living off another organism. | ||
| So I'm not being even a dick when I call you a parasite. | ||
| But I'm saying what makes you the worst kind of parasite is you're the only parasite that's figured out how to eat before the host organism. | ||
| You dig? | ||
| Yeah, I see what you're saying. | ||
| Like, they all are getting their monies. | ||
| The complete disproportionate amount of wealth. | ||
| And then by the time it gets to the person who generated all the monies, in most cases, it's nothing. | ||
| That's why you see some of these sad stories of cats that should have it all and don't. | ||
| Because by the time it got to them, nobody helped them, first of all. | ||
| If you're young and somebody hands you a ton of money, I'm surprised. | ||
| I'm alive, the amount of money they handed me when I was young. | ||
| How does it work without collusion that they keep the rates so high amongst people like that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's just because the only excuse you get is that's how it's always been done. | ||
| Now, I don't buy in. | ||
| I'm telling you, I've been doing it long enough where I do it the way I want to do it. | ||
| But what were the options when you first started? | ||
| There was no other options. | ||
| You started before the internet. | ||
| What was it like when you had... | ||
| Well, we also used to sell records. | ||
| You sell your own records. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I'm just saying in general, you moved a lot of units before the internet. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| If you had any kind of... | ||
| Even if it was just so lazy and playing cat videos over there. | ||
| So there was more money, period. | ||
| Yeah, well, I mean, it's just like, you know... | ||
| If you wanted some music, you had to buy it. | ||
| And bootlegging was like, you know, a guy on the block buys the record and two of his friends gets to cassette tape it from him. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Now it's like a guy on the block buys the download and goes on some site and 5,000 people Get a copy of it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Well, even distribution is moving to a digital model, so it's almost like you don't need that anymore with things like iTunes and stores. | ||
| I still love a record in my hands, though. | ||
| I like to have a CD in my hands and unfold it and look at it, and that's just me. | ||
| That's the generation I come from. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Listen, I remember when we went to CDs. | ||
| I missed albums. | ||
| I used to love album artwork. | ||
| The artwork was huge. | ||
| That was a big part of the record. | ||
| There used to be a Grammy category, and I don't think it is anymore. | ||
| It used to be Best Album Cover. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| They don't even do that anymore. | ||
| Yeah, I remember Cheech and Chong's Big Bamboo? | ||
| He would open it up. | ||
| It was like a giant rolling paper. | ||
| It was fucking tremendous. | ||
| B-Real actually rolled a joint comparable to the size of that paper once. | ||
| I believe it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think he's still got the roach, which is like this long. | ||
| And that fat in a frame thing at his house. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, Big Bamboo was a classic. | ||
| And the album cover itself was part of the whole experience. | ||
| What do you do about that? | ||
| They didn't have music videos though. | ||
| Or rarely. | ||
| You rarely saw anything visual put to the music. | ||
| The music was like a completely audio experience. | ||
| Internet killed the video star. | ||
| Did it though? | ||
| Because it kind of expanded things too, man. | ||
| It made like an opportunity to like this. | ||
| One of the coolest things about this gig is being able to have guys like you and we have this band, Honey Honey, came in and played. | ||
| It's the coolest thing ever to be like, have a three-person concert. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| I was like, I gotta bring the guitar. | ||
| So this is the internet, though. | ||
| This is the same thing that killed it. | ||
| This is the same thing that's spreading. | ||
| Hey, man, I make a lot of my bread off of, you know, my fans are loyal cats. | ||
| They buy my records. | ||
| They buy my downloads. | ||
| I mean, I keep a steady stream. | ||
| You know, I'm not a hater, but at the same time. | ||
| You realize it's just changing. | ||
| It's just changing and things are getting weird. | ||
| Like I said earlier. | ||
| No, but it's not that it's changing. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Before the internet, I guarantee you, there's no record I would have ever made that wouldn't have moved at least a couple hundred thousand units. | ||
| Now, on this last record, I think I've moved about 50,000. | ||
| That's completely independent. | ||
| It's good money. | ||
| I'm not tripping. | ||
| But what I'm saying is, you're not going to tell me that those same other 150,000, 200,000 people ain't checking for me. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They're getting the record. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I figure for every one you sell, four or five people are just taking it. | ||
| So you're selling it on your own? | ||
| And that's the problem. | ||
| You're selling it on your own, like out of your own websites? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| No, I mean, I have a distributor with EMI Records, but I own my own masters. | ||
| I own my entire label. | ||
| I mean, they just help me distribute my record. | ||
| So when you say they help you distribute it, that means... | ||
| The physical record. | ||
| Otherwise, like iTunes and all that, you don't even need a distributor anymore. | ||
| You just go to them. | ||
| It's available through them. | ||
| So when you say 50,000, you mean 50,000 people bought an actual CD? Albums, yeah. | ||
| Actual album. | ||
| But then a lot of people, I don't even know the numbers on people that just come and buy individual or two or three songs off the record. | ||
| So that confuses numbers too. | ||
| That's kind of cool that you could do that. | ||
| I'm not complaining at all. | ||
| I don't want anybody to get it twisted. | ||
| I live a real good life. | ||
| Like I said, I'd like to meet that hedge fund super fan that wants to help me be super rich. | ||
| You say that. | ||
| He's going to take you to the place where he's been cloning babies. | ||
| I'll show you what's up. | ||
| You're going to have to keep secrets. | ||
| I'm cool with that, man. | ||
| You cool with that? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Depends on what they do to the babies once they clone them, I guess. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, if they're just cloning babies, they're going to good homes. | ||
| I mean, hey. | ||
| Everlast, you know, mansion in the East Hamptons. | ||
| Where the fuck did you get this place, man? | ||
| I can't tell you. | ||
| There's a little investment that I got involved in. | ||
| There's something crazy about the people that made billions off the internet in the beginning. | ||
| You know, when the internet dot-com boom was taken off, people sold websites for crazy amounts of money. | ||
| Mark Cuban? | ||
| Yeah, he's a billionaire from that, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's managed to stick around, though. | ||
| He's smart, dude. | ||
| He's a very nice guy, too. | ||
| Very normal guy. | ||
| Right down-to-earth guy. | ||
| Remember, he was involved, I think, in some fight organization. | ||
| I think maybe he was involved in Affliction in some way, too. | ||
| And he had HDNet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They changed the name of that recently. | ||
| Yeah, it's AXS TV. They're the best... | ||
| Is it still his, though? | ||
| It's partly his, I think, and Brian Seacrest is involved, too. | ||
| Yeah, I did a show. | ||
| I recorded a show for that channel. | ||
| For HDNet? | ||
| Like a live show, yeah. | ||
| They've been showing it a lot, too. | ||
| Those are great. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know why they had to change the name. | ||
| I thought HDNet was a great name. | ||
| And they're big on the fights, man. | ||
| They have the MMA Weekly and all that stuff with Boss. | ||
| I love that show, man. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I was going to say. | ||
| They're the best. | ||
| As far as one channel that covers all sorts of different fighting sports, they have K1 kickboxing. | ||
| They'll be telling you about the smallest shows in little towns, too. | ||
| You'll be like, really? | ||
| They're doing MMA? Oh yeah, they'll put on, they go to like, you know, all these different small organizations that very few people have ever heard of, and they'll put on those fights, and they'll put on all the best kickboxing too. | ||
| It's real hard to get good kickboxing in America. | ||
| It's only that AXS TV. Nobody else even shows it. | ||
| You can't see like the high-level Muay Thai and high-level kickboxing, like K1 style. | ||
| It's only them. | ||
| They're the only ones providing it. | ||
| Yeah, they always show the dream shows and all that. | ||
| That is the one thing when I always tell people, if there's one untapped market in the sports entertainment world, it's high-level kickboxing. | ||
| Somebody has never capitalized on that. | ||
| While boxers are making fucking millions of dollars, MMA fighters are making millions of dollars, these kickboxers are still languishing. | ||
| And these motherfuckers are so exciting. | ||
| Like real high-level Muay Thai kickboxing. | ||
| It has not been exposed to the masses. | ||
| People don't realize how goddamn exciting it is. | ||
| Dudes kicking each other in the fucking legs and the head and flying elbows and knees and shit. | ||
| That is a crazy exciting sport. | ||
| Muay Thai is really exciting. | ||
| It just hasn't been exposed to America correctly. | ||
| It's a huge money maker just waiting to happen of UFC proportions. | ||
| If somebody, some rich dude, some investment type character had the balls to put together some really high level kickboxing and start showing that shit in America, they would make mad loot. | ||
| Because one of the things that everybody loves about the UFC is that anything can happen, but the other thing they love is knockouts. | ||
| People fucking love knockouts. | ||
| They love submissions, but when it comes to what they would choose, they'd choose to rather see somebody get kicked in the face. | ||
| Yeah, it's gladiators. | ||
| Yeah, there's something crazy about it. | ||
| Like the Donald Cerrone fight last weekend. | ||
| Head kicks Gallard, and then as he's wobbling, comes in with the fucking death blow and KOs him on the way down. | ||
| I mean, that's what people want to see. | ||
| That was good. | ||
| Tremendous, tremendous. | ||
| That's not available in kickboxing, unfortunately. | ||
| You can't hit a dude in the face while he's going down. | ||
| You know, the referee will separate you. | ||
| You get a standing A count. | ||
| Which is actually kind of the worst way to fight. | ||
| It's actually more dangerous to be allowed to recover. | ||
| It's better for the referee to come over and save you, have to do punches you one or two more times, than you to sort of get your wits back and then get properly K the fuck owed. | ||
| But in K1 kickboxing and in Muay Thai, that's all the stand-up fighting. | ||
| It's all kicking and punching. | ||
| It's all what's probably the most important shit or the most exciting shit to watch. | ||
| No one's ever really capitalized on it. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You don't give a fuck. | ||
| I do. | ||
| I love kickboxing, man. | ||
| Have you ever seen it live? | ||
| I'm still feeling the effects from earlier, dog. | ||
| I've been stuck on stupid for a while, dog. | ||
| I was actually sitting here reflecting on the whole Swami thing and I'm like, man, I'm just going to get it today over this Swami thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know it. | |
| I know people are going to be like, what kind of retarded shit is that? | ||
| It's cutting their tongue and massaging their brain. | ||
| What, man? | ||
| I hope somebody proves me right is all. | ||
| Otherwise, I'm like, man, that was a good hallucination. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It might be deep in page five of Google. | |
| It's a good hallucination of an explanation, though, man. | ||
| That's a good lyric. | ||
| A good hallucination of an explanation. | ||
| Yeah, maybe you could just combine them in your head in some strange way. | ||
| I'm sure something like that happens. | ||
| If it's not coming up on Google, we all know how reliable the internet is, dude. | ||
| Everything's on there. | ||
| Part of the beauty of podcasting is that people get to see you talk a little shit and not be correct. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not edited. | |
| Unlike you, I don't have a war room laptop in front of me. | ||
| Yeah, this is a manly laptop. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Alien eyes and shit. | ||
| Yo, man, I thought it was a briefcase. | ||
| It runs on coal. | ||
| That thing has a nuclear reactor in the center of it. | ||
| Yeah, we started using these because they support MMA fighters. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It runs on the blood of the innocent. | |
| It's slowly, slowly tapping into your soul. | ||
| It's been staring at me for a while, dude. | ||
| It's starting to creep me out. | ||
| It's dope, isn't it? | ||
| The eyeballs are starting to creep me out. | ||
| It's a ladybug. | ||
| It's us in the future is what it is, man. | ||
| That's what the alien is. | ||
| We know that's the future. | ||
| That's inevitable. | ||
| That's what we're going to look like. | ||
| Really? | ||
| If we used to look like monkeys and this is what we look like now, that's next. | ||
| No doubt about it. | ||
| The atmosphere is going to erode, so we're going to have big black eyes like permanent sunglasses. | ||
| That's what I'm thinking. | ||
| Permanent sunglasses because we're going to deal with a hostile environment. | ||
| You're not going to really talk anymore, so you have a giant head with a little tiny slit of a mouth. | ||
| You're probably going to get all your nutrients through some cream you rub on you or something. | ||
| He's probably not even going to have to eat anymore. | ||
| They're going to invent orgasm pills so your dick's going to shrink away to nothing. | ||
| So you'd be like that man in a suit. | ||
| Skinny thing. | ||
| You don't need your muscles because you're controlling the universe with your brain. | ||
| You're speaking telekinetically so you don't have a language anymore outside of actual information. | ||
| My job's obsolete then. | ||
| I'm going to mentally telepathically sing to you. | ||
| Well, that's why I think the idea of simulation theory is actually plausible. | ||
| That simulation theory is like real, legit scientists have offered up the possibility that if someday someone created an artificial reality, someday someone created something that was controlled, it was something generated by a computer, but it was undetectable from reality. | ||
| It seemed real. | ||
| Is it possible that they could get to that level someday? | ||
| And the reality is yes. | ||
| Yes, it is possible. | ||
| If the advent of technology and technological innovation keeps moving in the same direction, everything gets better. | ||
| So if you look from now to a thousand years from now or a thousand years ago, you look at what we're capable of now and extrapolate what a thousand years from now we're going to be capable of, Artificial reality is a given. | ||
| It's going to be easy. | ||
| So the idea is, are we already there? | ||
| Are we already in that artificial reality? | ||
| Is it possible that these aliens, this is what we really look like, dog, but this is whack. | ||
| This is a stupid way to live. | ||
| Nobody's getting their dick sucked. | ||
| No one's car makes some cool noises. | ||
| Nobody can play some badass music. | ||
| Everything is evolved and telekinetic and everything is without sin. | ||
| But there's no whiskey. | ||
| There's no shit talking. | ||
| No one farts on you. | ||
| Just don't unplug me. | ||
| I'm cool. | ||
| Maybe this is why our life is so crazy. | ||
| Maybe this is why life is so chaotic and ridiculous. | ||
| And it would seem like the type of being with the brain to build something like New York City would have everything else completely wrapped up too. | ||
| I mean it takes an amazing amount of innovation, thinking, computation, And construction and just amazing amount of stick-to-itiveness to build something like a New York City. | ||
| You would think an organism that can do that, well, they got everything wired. | ||
| This whole thing is wired. | ||
| They're from the future. | ||
| They've figured out the whole thing. | ||
| Look what they can do. | ||
| They can do impossible technical tasks. | ||
| Surely, socially, they would have it all together. | ||
| Surely they wouldn't be this crazy mix of hypocritical bullshit and fucking propaganda on television and nonsense. | ||
| There's no way they would be that stupid. | ||
| How would they make satellites and be that fucking stupid? | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| So the idea is that we are from an evolved time, but it's boring. | ||
| So we've come here where shit's fucking crazy. | ||
| And that's what makes it fun. | ||
| You could have me high tripping on the way home like, damn. | ||
| Well, you know, I've gotten shit about this. | ||
| That's one of those... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yo, the whole universe could be under your fingernail, bro. | |
| It's one pubic hair. | ||
| The real problem is it's starting to be substantiated with science. | ||
| When they're doing, you know, these string theories guys and these quantum physicist guys, where they're doing... | ||
| Technical computations, when they're trying to figure out the nature of the actual matter itself, one of the things they're finding is they're finding that there's mathematical programs to it all. | ||
| Things in this life follow mathematical computations. | ||
| They follow like an algorithm. | ||
| The Fibonacci sequence is like the way a person's face looks, the way a tree grows branches, the way a sunflower seed. | ||
| It's all like mathematics, inescapable mathematics. | ||
| And then they're finding more code in quantum theory. | ||
| They're finding the smaller they're getting as far as the smaller things they're looking at in the universe, they're finding mathematical algorithms that you could clearly track. | ||
| Like, that they've measured from the 1940s. | ||
| Like, they know what they are. | ||
| Like, they know this actual program. | ||
| So it's not outside the realm of possibility that this might be an awesome simulation. | ||
| That might be why it's so much fun. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Is this stuff that happens and you, like, get really deep into in the isolation tape? | ||
| Yeah, that's the problem. | ||
| The isolation tank is only about what is real, because nothing's real once you get in there. | ||
| Once you get in there, have you done it? | ||
| I've experimented similarly, but not full of, like nighttime, just in my pool with my ears plugged and my eyes covered, floating. | ||
| That's all groovy and everything, but you need a real one. | ||
| You need one. | ||
| Everybody needs one. | ||
| It's one of the biggest injustices, that people that are interested in thinking and creating don't have one of these things. | ||
| Because if you're in the simulated reality, you're probably already laying in some sort of liquid, so you're bringing yourself back almost to your essence if you're doing that. | ||
| Or nothing is real and your consciousness has been downloaded into some sort of a... | ||
| Gigantic computer. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| That one's... | ||
| There's got to be some kind of organic matter. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What if technology is organic? | ||
| What if we just... | ||
| We think of it as inorganic because we create it. | ||
| Because we create a phone. | ||
| But what if you look at it? | ||
| What if it's an actual life form that's independent of us, but we have this weird symbiotic relationship with it where where are the method that it's evolving through? | ||
| And it's going from being a fucking toaster... | ||
| Dude, do you have a Star Trek shirt on or something? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| You're going to start talking about the Borg or something in a minute. | ||
| Well, if you really stop and think about it, we're connected to electricity. | ||
| We talked about that earlier. | ||
| We are electricity. | ||
| But we panic if the power goes out. | ||
| I panic if I don't have my phone. | ||
| I panic if my car doesn't work. | ||
| You're like, shit. | ||
| We are already connected to certain aspects of technology. | ||
| I leave the house without my phone. | ||
| I feel pretty fucking naked. | ||
| I would rather walk out of the house with no shirt on than I would with no phone. | ||
| I feel like less of a freak. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| My phone is more important to me than clothes. | ||
| I need to be able to talk to people. | ||
| That's strange. | ||
| It's not strange. | ||
| If I'm out there in the wild, what if my fucking car breaks down? | ||
| What, am I going to have to walk to a tow truck? | ||
| Where is the tow truck? | ||
| In what direction? | ||
| Do I know? | ||
| Do I walk around naked and ask people? | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| I need that fucking phone. | ||
| Actually, in that scenario, I wouldn't have been naked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That doesn't make any sense. | ||
| This would be a good time for a new song, man. | ||
| By the way, five minutes. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You guys got time limits, huh? | ||
| Well, at three hours, we turn into a pumpkin. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's bad for iTunes. | ||
| Something happens. | ||
| I have one more for you. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Dude, this one's called Long Time. | ||
| She was a hot-blooded woman Never saw her coming. | ||
| She hid him from the side that's blind. | ||
| She never gave a warning. | ||
| He woke up in the morning. | ||
| Laying there next to his bride. | ||
| He got a little crazy when she had a little baby. | ||
| Cause I built him with a fatherly pride. | ||
| Just a couple years later when the love started fading. | ||
| He hurt so bad nearly died. | ||
| It's been a long time since I was faithful. | ||
| It's been a long time since I was grateful It's been a long time since I could look you in the eye It's been a long time since I was grateful She's a mother with a daughter, sitting by the water, cause it's better for her baby to breathe. | ||
| She got a man that's in prison, cause he didn't moan or listen, now he's sitting waiting on a reprieve. | ||
| She loves a little baby, but she get a little crazy, cause it's harder than she ever conceived. | ||
| She left her on her own, but she's doing it alone, cause she loves him like you wouldn't believe. | ||
| It's been a long time since I was faithful. | ||
| It's been a long time since I was grateful It's been a long time since I could look you in the eye It's been a long time since I was grateful He's a friend | ||
| and a lover. | ||
| Husband and a brother. | ||
| He's always been a pineapple son. | ||
| Gets a lot of drama when he go to see his mama, cause he curses like a son of a gun. | ||
| He's begging to his lady, let him see his baby, he swear she's the only one. | ||
| He's got a heart full of sorrow, living for tomorrow, and sorry for the damage he's done. | ||
| It's been a long time since I was faithful. | ||
| It's been a long time since I was grateful. | ||
| It's been a long time since I could look you in the eye It's been a long time since I was grateful It's been a long time since I was faithful It's been a long time since I was grateful It's been a long time since I could look you in the eye It's | ||
| been a long time since I was grateful Grateful Dude, thank you very much, man. | ||
| Anytime, man. | ||
| Thank you for coming here. | ||
| Anytime you want to come back, anytime you feel like playing some songs, please just holler at me. | ||
| That's what I did. | ||
| I'm ready. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| Yeah, it was beautiful, man. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Thank you very much, man. | ||
| Very inspirational. | ||
| Hey, when I first came on this motherfucker, man, I just quit my Twitter, or I just restarted after quitting Twitter, man. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And there's like damn near 30,000 people on it now. | ||
| So, you know, that's all love from coming, a lot of it coming from your direction, man. | ||
| Well, listen, man, that's beautiful. | ||
| And every time you're on it, man, we appreciate the fuck out of it. | ||
| We get a million positive tweets. | ||
| I'm looking at it right now. | ||
| My Twitter's blowing up. | ||
| People loved it. | ||
| They had a great fucking time, as always. | ||
| You know, OG Everlast, come shake me out. | ||
| Oh, yo, I got a bone to pick with you on your fans' behalf. | ||
| Uh-oh. | ||
| Post some motherfucking pictures on Instagram, dog. | ||
| Oh, we got one. | ||
| There's one and it's a meme, dog. | ||
| Yeah, I don't understand that. | ||
| Instagram, everybody's like really into pictures outside of like Twitter picture. | ||
| I don't get it. | ||
| I'll try to use it. | ||
| I'll try to use it. | ||
| What it is, is you just set it up so when you put it on Instagram, you hit one button and it'll go right to your Twitter too. | ||
| Okay, I'll hook it up. | ||
| They're mad at you, man. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| I'm sorry, everybody. | ||
| And plus, man, you know, I got like 9,000 people on there. | ||
| I got like 300 pictures. | ||
| You got one and there's like 30,000 people on there. | ||
| All right, I'll put some more. | ||
| I promise. | ||
| I promise. | ||
| All right, folks. | ||
| I did solid. | ||
| Go follow me now. | ||
| Yeah, please. | ||
| OG Everlast. | ||
| Follow him on Twitter. | ||
| And thanks to Audible.com. | ||
| Audible, our sponsor for the day, if you're interested in checking out a free trial, go to Audible.com forward slash Joe, and they give you 30 days for free. | ||
| So download a fucking load of cool-ass songs, or books, rather. | ||
| Books on audio, audiobooks, books on CD, books on, what are you, just downloads? | ||
| You can turn them into CDs if you want. | ||
| I think. | ||
| Can you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Can you turn them into CDs? | ||
| Yeah, you can burn it to a CD. It's not encrypted, right? | ||
| It is encrypted, but you can burn it to a CD. You can burn it to a CD. Okay. | ||
| I believe. | ||
| I mean, I haven't done that in a while. | ||
| But I use Audible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Audible, it's an awesome service, and there's so many fucking books there. | ||
| And like I said, it's awesome for traffic, much like this podcast is. | ||
| It's good for doing when you're... | ||
| What happened? | ||
| See, every time I go to Audible, it says, chat now. | ||
| You gonna chat with bitches? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that what it is? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Don't write anything stupid, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, it's Mike! | |
| Don't write anything stupid. | ||
| Hi, Mike! | ||
| Are you sure it's Mike? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're now chatting with Mike. | ||
| Let's see if Mike's a dick. | ||
| Ever been to Olive Garden? | ||
| You know how you're gonna say it. | ||
| Ever been raped? | ||
| No, don't do it. | ||
| Don't do it. | ||
| Thanks to audible.com. | ||
| Go there, audible.com forward slash Joe, and get yourself 30 days of free trial. | ||
| It's an awesome service. | ||
| Great books, and like I said, it's the best for traveling. | ||
| It really makes it interesting. | ||
| It makes me not want to park my car. | ||
| Thanks to onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, makers of Alpha Brain, Shroom Tech Sport, Shroom Tech Immune, New Mood. | ||
| What's New Mood, bitches? | ||
| Serotonin Boasting? | ||
| Boasting? | ||
| Serotonin Boasting? | ||
| It's 5-HTP and L-tryptophan. | ||
| It boosts your serotonin levels. | ||
| It actually makes you feel better. | ||
| It's called New Mood. | ||
| Check it out. | ||
| Go to Onyx.com. | ||
| That shit had me tripping balls, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That shit, right? | |
| Get yourself some kettlebells. | ||
| Get yourself some battle ropes. | ||
| Become fucking savage. | ||
| The savage that you really want to be deep inside your little caveman body. | ||
| Use the code name ROGAN and save 10% off supplements. | ||
| And I will see you guys later tonight. | ||
| One more podcast tonight. | ||
| Late night. | ||
| 10pm on the West Coast with Duncan Trussell. | ||
| Look at you doing it big. | ||
| I'm doing it big. | ||
| I love you dirty bitches. | ||
| We're off next week though. | ||
| Next week I'm on vacation. | ||
| So go fuck yourself. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| See you soon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bye. | |
| Big kiss. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Love you guys. |
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