July 5, 2012 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:57:01
Participants
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day. | |
| Joe Rogan Podcast by night. | ||
| All day! | ||
| Brian, I want you to apologize to all the nice people out there in the world. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sorry. | |
| I logged into the wrong Ustream account, and I guess the sound was too hot also. | ||
| The sound was too hot? | ||
| I had to restart the computer, and every time I restart the computer, it always goes back to all the defaults for some reason. | ||
| So the sound is really hot, and my login is saved in this Ustream thing, so it automatically, I just hit, you know. | ||
| It screws everything up, so every time I restart, I have to make sure everything is smoking weed before it. | ||
| We need a little yellow checky checklist thing for you. | ||
| Make sure what channel you're on. | ||
| I think the weed gets too much blame. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, it does. | |
| It does. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When I'm doing stuff, you get stoned and everyone's like, all right, let's start now. | |
| You're like, oh, okay. | ||
| I'm just trying to back up weed. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It gets a bad rap. | ||
| Speaking of weed, we got Tommy Chong who's gonna come on the podcast on Monday. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's fucking awesome. | |
| Yeah, that should be very fun. | ||
| He apparently is using that... | ||
| You know that Rick Simpson thing? | ||
| Have you heard that? | ||
| Cannabis oil. | ||
| There's some oil that you can make with cannabis. | ||
| It's supposed to be super healthy for people who have cancer. | ||
| A good friend of mine came to LA. He's from the East Coast. | ||
| He's got brain tumors in his head, and he's supposed to die in six months. | ||
| This was about a year ago. | ||
| And he's a hardcore 10th planet. | ||
| He's one of my top soldiers, for sure. | ||
| He... | ||
| Man, it's weird. | ||
| Because in the position that we're in... | ||
| We get a lot of people with, you know, there's a lot of people out there that have cancer that are fans as well. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| We're dealing with, you know, this is not an uncommon thing to have a student or someone come to me and have cancer. | ||
| This happens all the time. | ||
| People are like dying and it's crazy. | ||
| The spot that we're in, we're like, fuck. | ||
| Well, there's a gigantic amount of people in this country. | ||
| You're going to run into some people that are sick, and it's very humbling. | ||
| Well, this guy, he started that cannabis oil therapy, and his last checkup, the tumors stopped. | ||
| Not only did they stop growing, they shrank like 40%. | ||
| And his doctors are, like, amazed at what's going on. | ||
| And he's on this cannabis oil therapy. | ||
| It's becoming really popular now. | ||
| You know, there's reports... | ||
| I don't even think it makes you high, right? | ||
| No. | ||
| It doesn't, right? | ||
| No, it doesn't make you high at all. | ||
| So it's not even an issue whether or not people are taking this and getting high on it. | ||
| The only way pot gets you high is if you heat it up, I guess. | ||
| That's what's been explained to me. | ||
| Like you can't just eat it, but when you eat it, if you just eat like the leaves, it's really healthy. | ||
| They say like marijuana, like the flowers and the leaves are incredibly healthy for you. | ||
| Like really, it's a great thing to juice. | ||
| Like people should juice actual marijuana. | ||
| That's becoming more popular now too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So I have a friend who's... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| His tumors are shrinking, which is crazy. | ||
| Doctors are baffled, but he's been on that cannabis therapy. | ||
| It's working. | ||
| It's becoming more and more popular. | ||
| All these studies are coming up. | ||
| Real legit scientific studies that have shown that marijuana shrinks tumors. | ||
| It seems like every week or every other week there's this new study that comes out that proves that somehow marijuana can cure some kind of cancer here or some kind of cancer there. | ||
| And it's becoming so popular that I don't even retweet all of them. | ||
| There's just too many damn studies. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| You look like an asshole. | ||
| I'm like, shit, there's just too many fucking studies. | ||
| So I'm only retweeting the juiciest studies. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's all this evidence, all this proof. | |
| That marijuana is this wonder plant. | ||
| It's not just an ordinary plant. | ||
| It's not just a plant. | ||
| It's like an alien. | ||
| It's a magical plant. | ||
| There's all this proof and people still deny. | ||
| And it's still a Schedule I drug. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| Coke and heroin are Schedule II. Yeah, because they have medicinal use, supposedly. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, it's completely ridiculous. | ||
| How about that video of that one congressman grilling that chick? | ||
| Yeah, from the DEA. That chick is brilliant. | ||
| She deflected everything beautifully. | ||
| All illegal drugs are dangerous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All illegal drugs are bad. | |
| Yeah, she was brilliant. | ||
| You know the DA's watching like in a dark room laughing their asses off going, that was brilliant. | ||
| You know she got like a fucking $500,000 bonus and shit. | ||
| For that? | ||
| Really? | ||
| I thought she looked terrible. | ||
| She looked brilliant. | ||
| Nothing's going to happen from it. | ||
| They just needed someone to go out there and jibber jabber and just get past it and whatever. | ||
| And then they don't give a fuck. | ||
| And they got an old lady. | ||
| So it's easy for a guy, if you don't think too deeply about it, you're like, how could I be against an old lady who's trying to keep us off drugs? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| An old lady trying to keep us off drugs. | ||
| How old was she? | ||
| Was it her 30s or 40s? | ||
| No, she was like 60. Was she really? | ||
| Yeah, she was old. | ||
| They got her old lady up there. | ||
| See, all I got out of that was that she was joyless. | ||
| I didn't get her age. | ||
| I got just this joyless woman out there working. | ||
| Brilliant. | ||
| She's the best. | ||
| Old lady, come on and just say whatever. | ||
| They're like laughing in the back room. | ||
| Because they're not really accountable. | ||
| Nothing really is going to change. | ||
| Do you think they don't know all the truth and shit? | ||
| They know it. | ||
| They're trying to suppress it. | ||
| So how do you suppress it? | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| They want to grill someone in the DEA. I'm not going. | ||
| You go. | ||
| No, I'm not going. | ||
| And then they fucking make the secretary go out there and promise her a million dollars. | ||
| Just say drugs are bad. | ||
| Just say drugs are bad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it worked. | ||
| Because it's on video and it's not going to change shit. | ||
| And it was like, you know, she tried to, you know, different addictive properties. | ||
| All drugs are bad. | ||
| Drugs are illegal. | ||
| Is marijuana more addictive than heroin? | ||
| I don't. | ||
| They're both illegal and both addictive. | ||
| But what is more addictive, marijuana or heroin? | ||
| Which, in your opinion, is more addictive? | ||
| Both have addictive properties. | ||
| Both are illegal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can only choose A or B. Yes, exactly. | |
| It's like Jeopardy on Saturday Night Live. | ||
| You are an expert on this. | ||
| You should know this. | ||
| Is marijuana more dangerous than pills, than prescription pills? | ||
|
unidentified
|
All drugs are illegal and all drugs... | |
| She was brilliant. | ||
| It was perfect. | ||
| It so represents like if it was a movie and this was like the frustrating point of the movie where people were starting to get all the information, starting to realize that this structure that they've got set up, you don't have to live this way. | ||
| We just live this way because it's been set up for us before we had any information on how things are really going on behind the scenes. | ||
| And then you see something like this. | ||
| I mean, this is the thing that would make people rise up. | ||
| If that was really the drug enforcement agency, that was really their attitude, that's really their take on it. | ||
| That's really a spokesperson for this. | ||
| Like, what are you doing? | ||
| Yeah, watch that video. | ||
| It's Congressman Grills DA agent or something like that. | ||
| It's hilarious, it's talking about, like, fucking prescription pills. | ||
| They're talking about abusive prescription pills. | ||
| But you know what they're not talking about? | ||
| Stopping those prescription pills from being made. | ||
| Someone's always going to get them. | ||
| Someone's always going to have a backache. | ||
| You can't stop prescription pills and make prescription pills. | ||
| You can't do both. | ||
| So you're never going to stop them. | ||
| That's horseshit. | ||
| So when they say that they're looking to cut down an illegal prescription drug, whatever. | ||
| What kind of a fucking smoke screen is that? | ||
| How much money is that even? | ||
| How much money is it compared to the legal ones? | ||
| The people who are legally selling the exact same shit! | ||
| But because a doctor says it's cool to take Oxycontin every day for the rest of your fucking life, you're down. | ||
| And the next thing you know, whoa, you're a junkie. | ||
| That's legal, though. | ||
| That's legal. | ||
| But marijuana, you can't grow. | ||
| You can't eat this incredible plant. | ||
| Even if you were completely uninterested in getting high, if you just said the nutrition of this plant is unquestionable. | ||
| If you look at the amino acid profile, if you look at all the nutrients in it, look at the fiber in it, it's an incredible superfood. | ||
| It's better than kale. | ||
| But it's so expensive, you could never eat it because it's illegal. | ||
| But if it was legal, it would be cheaper than fucking kale. | ||
| That would be a real problem. | ||
| I know a bunch of people that lived in Northern California that prosper off of the illegality of it that were arguing that they were going to vote against it if it came on the ballot. | ||
| They're like, we make more money if it's illegal. | ||
| They were ready to go gangster. | ||
| They would rather go gangster and then make a little extra money. | ||
| That's like contrary to the whole idea behind weed in the first place. | ||
| Money takes precedence. | ||
| Yeah, it's amazing. | ||
| It's amazing how strong the pull is in some circumstances over, like, what would be good for humanity. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, man, fucking I got an ATV I gotta pay for. | |
| You know, can you imagine that? | ||
| Some asshole's growing weed and he's, like, organizing people to try to stop the initiatives to make it legal. | ||
| Fuck, keep it illegal, dude. | ||
| Keep it illegal. | ||
| Just you and me, bro. | ||
| We'll work together. | ||
| I'll get you the weed. | ||
| You give me the cash. | ||
| Selfish bitches. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| How self-hating would you have to be to be a pothead who grows weed and you vote against it being legal? | ||
| Fucking piece of shit. | ||
| You fucking dummy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's some silly bitches. | |
| Don't see Spider-Man. | ||
| I won't see Spider-Man. | ||
| We talked about this earlier before we were brought to the wrong channel. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Tobey Maguire is a way better Spider-Man. | |
| It's funny. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The new one's not. | |
| It seems cold. | ||
| You can't keep rebooting shit, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sorry. | |
| No, I think they should reboot it one more time and then just forget that last one. | ||
| Just bring Tobey back and not explain anything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, the coolest part was they used slow motion a lot, kind of like Matrix stuff. | |
| They used it a couple times, and it was really beautiful. | ||
| So I think they should slow down the movie, make it slow, but Tobey Maguire doing jokes. | ||
| Dude, I thought Tobey Maguire was awesome with Batman. | ||
| I thought it was perfect. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or Spider-Man? | |
| Spider-Man, rather. | ||
| Yeah, except for the third one. | ||
| Peter Parker, he was a perfect Peter Parker. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, perfect. | |
| Perfect. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's exactly what I imagined when I was reading the comic book, where this guy seems like, I'm Twilight Spider-Man. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And I got emotions. | ||
| I get bruised and scratched. | ||
| Oh, no, really? | ||
| Oh, you bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And then there was some really cool scenes where they tried to do, like, if you were the person, like, you know, like... | |
| Are you spoiling right now? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Not at all. | |
| I'm not giving away any plot. | ||
| This is, like, more effects and stuff. | ||
| But there's probably, like, first-person shooter style, like, where they just failed at it. | ||
| Like, it's like, you know how, like, in a video game where you see the arms come and you... | ||
| Was it 3D? It was 3D IMAX. And it was just like these little hands here in the corner or something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, no, you're not doing it right. | |
| So you wanted a full arm. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If they slowed it down, like if you were in first person mood while he's swinging, made it look super cool. | |
| I think that would be way better than, I don't know. | ||
| Spider-Man, by the way, is way more badass than an actual spider. | ||
| If a spider was the size of Spider-Man, he wouldn't be able to fucking shoot webs that far. | ||
| Explain the things and pull himself around? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They explain the technology this time behind it. | |
| I don't know if I like that. | ||
| And also, they redid the whole Uncle Ben thing. | ||
| The whole time, you're like, you don't care because you know what's going to happen to him. | ||
| You saw how it was going to happen in the previous thing. | ||
| It's like before, it used to be in a comic book. | ||
| It wasn't translated in person in a movie. | ||
| And then you're going to see it again in the movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I had to see it kind of again, and they changed it a little. | |
| Yeah, that is kind of whack, right? | ||
| Once you do that in a movie, you get... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mary Jane wasn't around. | |
| It kind of freaked me out that she wasn't around. | ||
| No Mary Jane at all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No Mary Jane. | |
| It bugged the hell out of me. | ||
| Sons of bitches. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I don't know, man. | |
| It was fun, but it kind of bummed me out. | ||
| It just didn't feel like Spider-Man at all. | ||
| There was no humor in the whole thing. | ||
| And Spider-Man as a comic book was humorous. | ||
| Eddie Bravo hates superhero movies. | ||
| The only superhero I like is Flash. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You ever see Kick-Ass? | |
| Yeah, Flash. | ||
| There was never a big Flash movie, was there? | ||
| I'll go see that. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Other than that, I don't want to see any... | ||
| I like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, that's kind of cool. | |
| You just don't like stupid shit like Captain America flying around with a little shield and stuff. | ||
| I'm not into it. | ||
| I know most people like that shit, obviously, because they fucking come out with three of them every year, at least. | ||
| I know most people like that shit. | ||
| I'm in that small minority that... | ||
| I wish I fucking liked it. | ||
| I wish every time a fucking new Batman came out I got excited. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So you saw that new Batman preview and that doesn't interest you? | |
| Wow, that's crazy. | ||
| That new Batman looks fucking like I shit myself crazy. | ||
| I was not a DC guy when I was growing up. | ||
| I was a Marvel guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Me too. | |
| There's something about that. | ||
| I feel like I'm still prejudiced against Batman or something. | ||
| Because I don't really care about it as much as The Avengers. | ||
| Same way. | ||
| I was fucking pumped, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Same way. | |
| And that movie delivered. | ||
| Did you like The Avengers? | ||
| I didn't see it. | ||
| How dare you, Eddie Bravo? | ||
| Everybody liked it. | ||
| Dude, just for the Hulk alone, it's awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Hulk is amazing. | |
| The greatest Hulk of all time. | ||
| They nailed it. | ||
| It's like, they used to do the Hulk and it was like, you know, first he did Lou Ferrigno, he did a great job for a person. | ||
| I mean, if you're gonna get a person to play the Hulk, that's the perfect guy, right? | ||
| Giant fucking dude. | ||
| But he was never anything like the Hulk in the comic books. | ||
| The Hulk in the comic books was not a man. | ||
| It was just fucking fucking... | ||
| This crazy big freak thing that is so fun to watch when he gets mad. | ||
| When the Hulk gets mad, you think about, God damn, could you imagine if you could do what that guy could do? | ||
| He could fight anything! | ||
| The Hulk is unafraid of anything. | ||
| He smashes everything in front of him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He smashes all the time. | |
| He smashes gods. | ||
| He grabbed a god and smashed him. | ||
| Just smashed him all over the ground. | ||
| The fucking rubble's breaking up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You have to like smashing, Eddie. | |
| When you watch it, it's so fun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll give it a chance. | |
| I'll give Avengers a chance. | ||
| Just the Hulk alone is so fun. | ||
| Okay, I'll give it a chance. | ||
| He fucking goes after a jet. | ||
| Like a jet is shooting missiles at him, and he gets fucking mad and goes after the jet. | ||
| I mean, to be the Hulk would have to be, if there was one thing you could do, if they could give you some sort of a neural implant, what is that movie? | ||
| Total Recall type experience, where they simulate a reality for you and you get a chance to try it. | ||
| What would you like to do? | ||
| I would like to be the Hulk. | ||
| Can it be the Hulk in an artificial reality for just one hour? | ||
| You know how fucking badass that would be? | ||
| You can jump and fly through the air, bullets bounce right off you like nothing, you could smash I would want to be Spider-Woman. | ||
| You'd be in a pissed off mood all the time. | ||
| Yeah, but you would only be fighting bad guys miraculously. | ||
| The Hulk never hurt any good guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The correct answer is Spider-Woman, though. | |
| Does she have the same powers as Spider-Man? | ||
| But she's a woman. | ||
| She's got boobs and a vagina. | ||
| So for one hour, you get to be Spider-Woman. | ||
| Plus, you can play with your boobs and vagina for an hour. | ||
| That's the best win. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| You want to be a woman. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You'd rather smash than do that? | |
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Because a lot of spiders, when you fuck the female, the female kills the male. | ||
| That shit happens all the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So you kill some dude, finger yourself, and swing around New York. | |
| Some bees, apparently, when they orgasm, die, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you know that? | |
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Some fucking bees. | ||
| Certain bees, like when they orgasm, their dick explodes, and they die. | ||
| Nature has a way of making sure there's just not an overflow. | ||
| Making sure that, you know, we've got to even out this population thing, and the female spider does not trust that male motherfucker. | ||
| So after he impregnates her, she's like, yeah, I'm done with you. | ||
| And she just jacks him. | ||
| Which is really kind of fucked up. | ||
| But, probably a good idea. | ||
| I mean, if she loves her babies, and she's going to have babies, is she going to trust all 1,000 of her babies with this cunty male spider around? | ||
| He might just eat the babies if he's fucking hungry. | ||
| You know, she's like, I can't take that chance. | ||
| I just gotta jack him. | ||
| So she jacks him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I guess I was wrong about Spider-Man. | |
| I guess The Amazing Spider-Man was a different storyline than, I guess, one of the other Spider-Mans. | ||
| Oh, so the comic book itself. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wasn't The Amazing Spider-Man the only main one? | |
| Like, the rest were like Peter Parker and The Amazing Spider-Man? | ||
| Oh, I don't know. | ||
| Shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can't remember now. | |
| You're nerding me the fuck out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There was a web of Spider-Man, I believe. | |
| Way too far. | ||
| I don't even know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So now I'm really confused. | |
| Sorry, nerds. | ||
| I, uh... | ||
| You fucked up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I fucked up. | |
| I remember Mary Jane though. | ||
| It's not your fault though. | ||
| They can't be changing plots like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Amazing Spider-Man was Mary Jane. | |
| Make up a new superhero, bitch. | ||
| You don't have to keep changing. | ||
| Don't change Spider-Man. | ||
| Eddie Bravo doesn't give a shit. | ||
| Eddie would get mad. | ||
| We would go to movies like, well, I know this guy's going to live. | ||
| He always would get upset. | ||
| You could never just enjoy it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Iron Man's badass, man. | |
| There's something about movies that I could figure out. | ||
| If I could figure it out, I hate it. | ||
| If it has me on my toes and it's totally unpredictable and has a really good storyline, obviously, then that's what I'm into. | ||
| I like not knowing. | ||
| That's what gets me excited. | ||
| Knowing what's going to happen. | ||
| All that money, all that CGI it takes for Batman to be... | ||
| He's like in seven fights per movie. | ||
| Seven big episodes where he almost dies. | ||
| He's fighting all this... | ||
| All that work that's so expensive and so grand and looks so beautiful. | ||
| And for me, I'm a minority, that doesn't mean anything for me. | ||
| It doesn't do shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You didn't grow up watching cartoons much, did you? | |
| Or any of that stuff? | ||
| I wasn't into comic books. | ||
| I watched cartoons. | ||
| I watched the superheroes, I guess. | ||
| The super friends when I was like eight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you like Star Wars growing up? | |
| I did like Star Wars growing up. | ||
| Did you enjoy Avatar? | ||
| I liked Avatar. | ||
| Okay, but that was a super predictable movie, man. | ||
| That was a complete comic book movie. | ||
| Avatar was the ultimate predetermined ending movie. | ||
| No, a superhero movie is the most. | ||
| You know Spider-Man's going to live. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| The Avatar dude was going to live. | ||
| He lived through the whole thing. | ||
| He became a fucking member of the noble people himself. | ||
| Avatar wasn't as predictable as Spider-Man. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| No way. | ||
| Spider-Man's the most predictable movie ever. | ||
| Or Batman or Superman. | ||
| All that shit's the same thing. | ||
| But this movie's predictable, too, because the guy... | ||
| I mean, not even predictable, because I don't think that... | ||
| I shouldn't even say predictable. | ||
| What I should say is it follows, like, a pretty obvious pattern. | ||
| It follows a pattern where the person that you're focusing on in the beginning is probably going to be alive at the end. | ||
| Like 99.999% of the time. | ||
| Yes, but it's not as clear as a superhero movie that's called Spider-Man. | ||
| You know Avatar wasn't a person. | ||
| If Avatar was like a chick, you knew that, or a dude or something, like Avatar the Fighter, and he's going to fight for them. | ||
| Oh, I see what you're saying. | ||
| So because it's a science fiction movie, you don't consider it a comic book movie. | ||
| I didn't say I worshipped Avatar. | ||
| I'm not trying to watch it again. | ||
| I thought it was good. | ||
| I know what you're saying. | ||
| It's less ridiculous than a Batman. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| It completely is. | ||
| There's different levels. | ||
| But when I say it's a comic book movie, I say that with a compliment, because I love that movie. | ||
| I thought that movie was awesome. | ||
| No, most people do. | ||
| No, most people love that shit, you know? | ||
| I just can't feel it, you know? | ||
| But you felt Avatar, and I'm saying that Avatar is very much like, in a lot of ways, it's like a comic book. | ||
| It's not like a superhero movie. | ||
| That's what I meant. | ||
| I meant like a superhero, comic hero, like, dude. | ||
| Like, my name is Avatar. | ||
| I'm going to save this alien planet. | ||
| Then I wouldn't watch that shit. | ||
| Did you enjoy, like, Clint Eastwood movies? | ||
| Like, those half-humor movies? | ||
| Like, Every Which Way But Loose? | ||
| No, really. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Best movies ever. | ||
| I was addicted to that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| Do you remember he had an orangutan? | ||
| I was eight, I barely remember. | ||
| I did see B.J. and the Bear and shit. | ||
| Oh, B.J. and the Bear. | ||
| I mean, I was into that shit. | ||
| Isn't it weird now that we know so much about chimpanzees like some of that kid, that student in Africa just got his fucking testicle ripped off? | ||
| His fingers bitten off. | ||
| They dragged him for like two kilometers or something like that. | ||
| I mean, it's really scary shit. | ||
| They beat the fuck out of this kid. | ||
| Now that you know so much about chimps, it's really hard to watch like BJ and the bear. | ||
| And this dude's like tooling around with a chimp. | ||
| It's not even really a chimp. | ||
| It's a baby. | ||
| It's a little baby chimp. | ||
| It's like a little three-year-old or something like that. | ||
| Because that's about as old as you can get before you've got to circle out that BJ and bring in a new BJ or bring in a new bear or whatever the fuck his name is. | ||
| You can't have that. | ||
| He can't grow up. | ||
| Because if he grows up, he's going to fucking drive. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Imagine sitting in a cab of a truck with a giant male chimpanzee. | ||
| And he's like, how about I just fucking drive right now? | ||
| Just grabs that wheel from you. | ||
| What are you gonna do? | ||
| Just gonna bite your fucking nose off, Brian. | ||
| Some dude who worked at a zoo brought home a baby chimp because the baby, the chimp's mother died. | ||
| And at that same time, she had, the person that worked at the zoo had this dog that just had puppies. | ||
| Had four puppies. | ||
| Like this big mastiff. | ||
| And she brought that fucking chimp home and that mastiff took in that chimp as a child of its own. | ||
| I got all these pictures of it. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| They're like all hanging out. | ||
| It's like a little baby chimp. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| You know what I'll do? | ||
| I'll tweet it to you. | ||
| You'd be able to see it there? | ||
| Yeah, I can tweet it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Would you rather be She-Hawk? | |
| What's that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like She-Hulk or Hulk for an hour? | |
| She-Hulk or Hulk for an hour? | ||
| Is there a She-Hulk? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it does. | |
| Hulk, for sure. | ||
| It's just as strong. | ||
| Why the fuck would I want to be a chick, dude? | ||
| Why do you keep trying to turn yourself into a chick? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because, I mean, if you could have a vagina for an hour, just a fuck and finger and stuff? | |
| Would you rather be the alien or Sigourney Weaver? | ||
| Why don't you let the hair yourself... | ||
| Man, you really... | ||
| You seriously... | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| You really wanted the vagina? | ||
|
unidentified
|
For one hour? | |
| If you could be for one hour to be Spider-Man or Spider-Woman or She-Hulk or She-Hulk or Iron Man or Iron... | ||
| So you could feel what it feels like to get clunked? | ||
| Is that what you want? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want to know what it feels like to get rammed. | |
| You're curious about that. | ||
| You don't have to... | ||
| It doesn't have to be a fantasy. | ||
| You have to just use your back to... | ||
|
unidentified
|
If you have boobs in the vagina for one hour, you wouldn't do it for one hour. | |
| And what would you stick in it besides dicks? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No period. | |
| No period. | ||
| Like, this is fresh as they come for one hour. | ||
| One hour, dude. | ||
| You would get bored. | ||
| You would want to start using it. | ||
| You'd be out on the street going, who wants to fuck? | ||
| I've got 40 minutes left as a woman. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, but if you're a superwoman, imagine flying around on top of the earth and just going, look how beautiful it is, and then start fingering your pussy and sucking it on your own tits. | |
| No, maybe it was weird. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why are you doing it? | |
| Maybe it will stain your brain, and then when you come back to being a man again, it's imprinted in your memory, and now you just become gay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| Maybe. | ||
| Wasn't there a story about a dude who got in some sort of an accident and then became gay? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I think that's bullshit. | |
| Because the pictures of him before, he was like sucking dicks and stuff like that. | ||
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, I mean, he just had like, really, he looked gay. | |
| So you think it was just a good excuse? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like you realize, hey, life is short. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| Why don't I just say that I just got knocked gay? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| No, I just think if you're going to do it for an hour and you get to fly around and look at nature, you might as well finger yourself. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, I can see your logic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pfft! | |
| You really wouldn't do it for an hour. | ||
| No, I'm not really into being a chick at all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For an hour, though. | |
| What if it's stuck? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just to try it. | |
| You'd never be able to do it ever. | ||
| I wouldn't be convinced that you could fucking get snapped back. | ||
| You know what you're saying right now? | ||
| That's deep shit. | ||
| That's deep shit what you're saying. | ||
| This is hurt by millions of people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For one hour. | |
| You have to deny that shit, Brian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, this is like a mood from the 80s. | |
| Dude, deny it. | ||
| Deny it. | ||
| Say that you're just trying to be funny right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no. | |
| I think for one hour, it would be kind of fun. | ||
| You're curious to see how it would be to get railed. | ||
| You can make that happen easily. | ||
| You don't have to fucking... | ||
| You can actually make that happen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm just saying, man, like most drugs, I'll try it once. | |
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But not gay sex or anything like that. | |
| Except for that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| I'm saying if I could be spider woman or spider man, might as well be spider woman because you have boobs and a vagina. | ||
| I'm not saying like, hey, I want to have a sex change. | ||
| If I was 12 and I lived in the 80s, I probably would agree with you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Thank you. | ||
| I'm going to say... | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, I feel creepy. | |
| Listen, man. | ||
| No, there's nothing wrong with it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can still deny it. | |
| You can still say it's a joke. | ||
| Have you ever even contemplated the thought? | ||
| I mean, it's a funny thing for men, but even contemplated the thought of what it would be like to have, you know, to switch places and to be a woman. | ||
| You know, just what would it be like if you were born a woman? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I've never thought it ever, and I've never wanted to be a woman. | |
| But if I had to choose between Spider-Woman and Spider-Man, I think I might go with the Spider-Woman. | ||
| No, I understand what you're saying. | ||
| I understand what you're saying, but I'm saying it's a funny thing that people get really uncomfortable about the idea of even pretending that you're a woman. | ||
| Like, or allowing yourself to even think, what would life be like as a woman? | ||
| Like, men are like, what are you doing? | ||
| What are you doing over there? | ||
| You know, like, it's a legitimate thought. | ||
| I mean, there's only two sexes, okay? | ||
| One's male and one's female. | ||
| If you happen to be male and heterosexual, how much do you understand about what it's like to be a female heterosexual? | ||
| Do you really understand it? | ||
| No! | ||
| You understand your side of it. | ||
| Would you, you know, if there was like a little thing, like a little chip, like Total Recall style, and you could be a woman having sex, and you could experience what it feels like to be a woman having sex with a man, Would you do it? | ||
| Or would that make you gay? | ||
| This superwoman would fly by the Eiffel Tower and just go That would be some shit that girls would find out and they'd be like really creeped out about you. | ||
| You're like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. | ||
| You did, out of all the things you could do with Total Recall, you went and you were a woman getting fucked by a guy? | ||
| Is that what you're telling me? | ||
| Well, I'm just, you know, it's not a gay thing at all. | ||
| I just wanted to understand the experience. | ||
| Wait a minute, wait a minute. | ||
| You could have done anything and all that money and you decided to be a girl getting fucked by a guy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you know, I mean, I don't think of it that way. | ||
| I think of it as like, you know, experiencing something that otherwise would be like completely out of my reach. | ||
| It sounds like there's a joke coming. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It sounds like that. | ||
| It could be. | ||
| Like one of your early 2000s, you know, you're talking to some chick on the phone. | ||
| Wait a minute, you mean to tell me? | ||
| Girls would not be happy with that. | ||
| I wouldn't be happy if I was a chick and I found out a dude pretended to be a girl and got fucked by cock and be like, whoa! | ||
| How much of that stays in your head? | ||
| How much of that stays in your head? | ||
| How much of the pleasure of cock that you enjoyed so much as a woman for that, you know, whatever amount of time? | ||
| How much of that is in your memories still? | ||
| Did you love the cock during that time? | ||
| Okay, because then you still love the cock. | ||
| It could turn you gay. | ||
| You could fuck around. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm just saying. | |
| We're not saying you're gay. | ||
| It's probably going to happen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm talking in comic book ways. | |
| That's probably the future. | ||
| That's probably what gay is all about. | ||
| It's just some new evolutionary exchange so that we can have less people. | ||
| What I think is gayer, and this has been happening a lot on the Ice House Chronicles, is other comics, I think it's happened twice now, saying if they were in a steam room and Brad Pitt or George Clooney walked in, would they totally fuck them? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| And I think Burt Kreiser said yes. | ||
| Well, wait a minute. | ||
| Bert Kreischer said he would fuck Tom. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There was somebody else. | |
| I can't even remember. | ||
| Bert Kreischer is just being funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, but they were all both being serious. | |
| I don't know if it was Bert Kreischer or not. | ||
| Somebody tweet me if they can remind me. | ||
| Oh, now you're saying you don't know if it's him. | ||
| That's a serious allegation. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think it was. | |
| I mean, Bravo is correct. | ||
| That's a serious allegation. | ||
| A gay allegation. | ||
| You better know that name is correct. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But that's been happening a lot lately. | |
| And I'm like, why would you want to do it? | ||
| He's like, dude... | ||
| I think Sam Tripoli may be awesome. | ||
| But he's like, dude, it's fucking Brad Pitt. | ||
| Okay, but yeah, but you know... | ||
| You know that this is all just for humor. | ||
| I mean, you can't pretend these are real conversations you're having. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what I said. | |
| You're just kidding. | ||
| Of course they are. | ||
| They're stand-up comedians. | ||
| They're going for the joke. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course they are. | |
| I don't know whether or not Burt would actually let... | ||
| Burt might let Tom Cruise fuck him just for his story. | ||
| If Tom Cruise had a moderate to small-sized dick and he wore a condom and Burt didn't have to kiss him, Burt might do it just for the story. | ||
| Because Burt has the greatest stories in the history of the world. | ||
| And you don't have those stories without taking some chances. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But he might be willing to do it just for the story. | ||
| Most likely I'd say no though. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| He's not going to get mad when he hears it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, Bert Kreischer's the fucking man. | |
| He's the funniest guy of all time. | ||
| He's right up there with Joey Diaz as far as ridiculous, natural humor. | ||
| He's just such a silly guy. | ||
| He's so fun. | ||
| Such a great guy to have around. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So that the last podcast, it was all fucked up. | |
| And if you're Tom Cruise, you can fuck him, probably. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just kidding. | |
| It's fucked up. | ||
| It's in two parts. | ||
| You know, we had a... | ||
| Yeah, the Josh Barnett one you're talking about. | ||
| Yeah, we had like a power thing where I got electrocuted and shit. | ||
| Yeah, we have... | ||
| The Ice House, unfortunately, had a little issue with their electrical system that led to Brian getting electrocuted in his fucking face. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And so that night, I took... | ||
| After you left, after that podcast, I took apart the whole entire studio, co-hosted, Courtney came over and we went through and threw away all the stuff. | ||
| I went through every wire to make sure it was on my side. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I put it back together and we had another podcast, The Bone Zone. | |
| And right before the podcast started, somebody put in between the alley of the studio and the other building. | ||
| I think somebody said it was like an M100 or something like that, which is like a quarter stick of dynamite. | ||
| And it's a firework, but it went... | ||
| And they lit it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
But it's super illegal. | |
| And lit it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| And went... | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Like, super loud. | ||
| I was inside, like, plugging the outlet in after hooking up all the thing, and I put it in, and I, like, stood up, and it happened. | ||
| And I thought it was that, you know, because I just got electrocuted. | ||
| But I felt it on my face. | ||
| My face, like, floppy, like the impact. | ||
| So someone threw a bomb at you. | ||
| Pretty much, but they were doing it in between because there was a comedy show coming out and some dude just threw it on the ground or something like that. | ||
| But where did it go? | ||
| Did it go inside the room? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| Outside the room, right outside the room in that alley. | ||
| So it was in a confined place because of the two alley. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| And there's that space there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| And it was a... | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Fireworks are a fucking ridiculous idea in California. | ||
| It's so goddamn dry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| People are shooting shit up in the air. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All day. | |
| See what the fuck is going on in Colorado, man? | ||
| You know, there's this huge wildfire. | ||
| They think part of it was started. | ||
| One of the rumors is some kids were shooting at things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And they're fucking around with guns. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And they hit a rock or something like that and caused a spark. | ||
| And that was it. | ||
| That's all she wrote. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So I shit myself. | |
| We all ran outside. | ||
| Smoke everywhere. | ||
| People freaking out. | ||
| I thought the building was blowing up. | ||
| Like, I thought the electric thing, you know, and all this. | ||
| Like, something is not right. | ||
| You know, freaked out. | ||
| Anyways, we did the podcast. | ||
| All this shit happened. | ||
| After the podcast, I'm driving home, and I get to the stoplight, and I was about to go to the gas station, but I was like, no, I'm going to stay. | ||
| And this black dude starts walking up to me, holding two car stereos and something else, some other box, like a camcorder box or something like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he stops. | |
| He starts screaming at me. | ||
| And I turn up my stereos a little bit. | ||
| And then I tried to roll up my window, but my window is fucked up. | ||
| Like, it's like some setting where I hit it, and it will, like, roll up halfway, and then roll all the way down. | ||
| I'm like, so then I hit it again, and it rolls up, like, only a little bit, and then it rolls down. | ||
| I'm like, fuck, I'm just gonna keep it down. | ||
| And the guy starts screaming, like, and I'm just kind of ignoring him. | ||
| And finally, I'm like, in the corner of my eye, I'm like, alright, this dude's still staring at me and screaming at me, so I better look at him. | ||
| So I look at him, he goes, give me a fucking cigarette! | ||
| I'm like, oh, alright. | ||
| And he goes, throw it on the motherfucking ground! | ||
| I'm like, what? | ||
| He goes, I'll go to jail for you! | ||
| I got a gun, bitch! | ||
| And I'm like, uh, okay. | ||
| And I threw the cigarette on the ground, and he picks it up, and he just, like, stares at me for, like, a minute, and people are honking the horns around because everyone else is seeing what's going on, and he fucking starts acting like he's gonna walk to me, like, walk towards my window. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, dude, look, fucking psycho. | |
| Like, he looked crazy. | ||
| And then I just, like, the light turned green over, like, and I, like, took off turbo style in my car. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But it was fucked up. | |
| That whole day was fucked up. | ||
| That haunted-ass day. | ||
| Yeah, that was a weird day. | ||
| Josh Barnett was on the way up here from Orange County. | ||
| Got a blowout. | ||
| Barely controlled his car. | ||
| He said it was trying to go into the dividing wall. | ||
| He had to hold it together. | ||
| Pull over to the side of the road. | ||
| He got to get towed. | ||
| It changed his tire. | ||
| Then he got to the podcast. | ||
| By the time he got there, Brian had been electrocuted in the face. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That sucked. | ||
| Did you hear it? | ||
| Did you listen to it? | ||
| Yeah, I heard the pop. | ||
| Yeah, I saw this. | ||
| You could almost, like, see, like, a little... | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's a white spark. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I was like, I didn't really see that. | ||
| Did I really see that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you saw it. | |
| It was like... | ||
| Yeah, that's not good. | ||
| Electrical shit is fucking freaky. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Scary as fuck. | |
| Electrical fires, that kind of stuff too. | ||
| You've got to be real careful. | ||
| When you're getting sparks like that, who knows what the fuck that's going to hit. | ||
| Weird shit can happen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The storm just hit through Ohio and most of Columbus doesn't have power right now. | |
| Isn't that like a lot of the whole East Coast? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, my dad said that he won't have power until next Wednesday. | |
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| And so he has a generator just to do his refrigerator and his TV and fans. | ||
| That's scary shit, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But do you have a generator? | |
| No, I need to get one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No shit. | |
| It's scary to find out how easy it is for the power to go out. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's scary. | ||
| Remember when there was some sort of scandal in California and they were doing these brownouts where they would just shut people's power off for a little while? | ||
| I don't remember what the scandal was. | ||
| I don't remember what... | ||
| But they had been shown that there was some collusion involved in shutting people's power off. | ||
| I don't know the exact story. | ||
| I'm totally butchering it. | ||
| But I remember thinking that, like, that was a scary thing, man, when that was going on, when they would just shut the power off in certain spots, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's like, wait a minute, you guys can't keep the fucking power on all the time? | ||
| What are we doing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's really fucking scary. | |
| Yeah, it is scary. | ||
| It gets scary. | ||
| Like, how much power do we have? | ||
| Are we using it all up? | ||
| Like, what's going on here? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That Wizard last night is the second time where I've been like, alright, this is getting really dangerous out here. | |
| You never know, man. | ||
| When you drive, you never know. | ||
| You can zig when you should have zagged, and all of a sudden there's a crazy dude in front of you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, when Justin Martindale... | |
| Get your fucking window fixed. | ||
| When Justin Martindale got recently robbed and stuff like that, a lot of people have been talking about it, and a lot of bartenders in Hollywood have been getting robbed because they have money at the end of the night, and they're leaving. | ||
| So these two guys are targeting these guys, and I guess... | ||
| From a friend of a friend, what they're saying is that there's a really bad problem right now with people getting mugged in Hollywood, but they're not saying anything because they don't want a lot of attention drawn to it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But it's really bad. | |
| A lot of people are getting fucked. | ||
| The economy's in the toilet, man. | ||
| More of a reason to do jiu-jitsu. | ||
| Yeah, I guess. | ||
| Or buy a gun. | ||
| I'm kidding about that. | ||
| We need to figure out what the fuck the problem is. | ||
| Our society, it's so funny how little we do or little we require in terms of government and as far as engineering our future, as far as figuring out a way to cut crime back, looking at all the methods that are possible. | ||
| I'm talking about looking at different methods to rehabilitate people. | ||
| Ibogaine or ayahuasca or anything that you could do that could help rehabilitate kids once they get into trouble. | ||
| Once you realize that they're headed down a bad alley. | ||
| We do nothing for that. | ||
| It's very little consideration. | ||
| It's not something that's on the internet every day. | ||
| They're talking about all these kids that are growing up in shitty homes. | ||
| And what we need to do is figure out a way to provide some sort of guidance for a kid that doesn't get it from home. | ||
| Some sort of a way to take advantage of all these young kids and give them something. | ||
| No, no, like, isn't that what, like, shouldn't that be a part of what, like, the government is? | ||
| Doesn't that make sense? | ||
| I mean, if you needed him for anything, wouldn't he, like, they would, let's say, we need to look at the future of our youth. | ||
| This is the plan. | ||
| We need to figure out a way to stop all the fucking people from dropping out of school. | ||
| We need to figure out a way to pay for more schools. | ||
| That kind of shit, wouldn't that be the answer in some way? | ||
| In a perfect world. | ||
| What's wrong with this world? | ||
| This world could be perfect if everybody got their shit together. | ||
| If the world was filled with cool motherfuckers, it is a perfect world. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We are the world. | |
| We are the children. | ||
| It's totally possible for anyone to get their shit together, up to a reasonable point. | ||
| If you're a serial killer, you probably shouldn't be fucking hanging around, even if you're sorry. | ||
| But you know what I mean? | ||
| For most folks, it's very possible for anybody at some point in their life to have some sort of an experience that puts them on some sort of a path to eventually getting their shit together. | ||
| I don't count anybody out. | ||
| I think it's almost possible for everybody, except extreme idiots that are probably just here to dig holes. | ||
| I think there's got to be a few of those, too. | ||
| But other than that, right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I agree with you, yes. | ||
| I'm all down for positivity and prosperity. | ||
| All that shit. | ||
| I just think we have to figure out a way to make people nicer. | ||
| And the best way is all the shit they're trying to keep us from. | ||
| The best way is weed. | ||
| You see this Long Beach raid? | ||
| They fucking stepped on this kid's neck. | ||
| This kid did nothing wrong, complied completely. | ||
| They said, get on your knees, put your hands up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stepped right on his face. | |
| The guy stepped on his back and then stepped on his neck. | ||
| Big fucking cop. | ||
| Big, big guy, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was just like clumsy style. | |
| Like, yeah, I don't give a shit about it. | ||
| Like, he doesn't give a fuck about him. | ||
| Like, I own you, bitch. | ||
| He stepped on him like a carpet. | ||
| But the problem is, they didn't know that they were being filmed. | ||
| And there was a camera up there. | ||
| And the camera apparently records at a remote location. | ||
| It doesn't even record there. | ||
| So you can't, like, get the video. | ||
| So the cops couldn't do anything. | ||
| They smashed the cameras. | ||
| But they couldn't do anything to get rid of the video. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| They did this fucking video of them smashing the cameras. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you see that undercover kid? | |
| Well, first of all, cops have no business smashing security cameras. | ||
| You have no business doing that. | ||
| You're supposed to abide by the fucking law. | ||
| Just because you're a cop doesn't mean because you enjoyed that episode of S.H.I.E.L.D. when that fucking, what is that, the S.H.I.E.L.D., what was that dude's name? | ||
| Michael Chiklis? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Michael Chiklis would rough people up and kick them and step on their head. | ||
| This is real life, you fucking cunt. | ||
| You're being paid by these people. | ||
| These people pay taxes, you fuckhead. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, watch the video. | |
| It's on, I think, Long Beach Rage on YouTube. | ||
| I think that's what it is. | ||
| Look, 20 years ago, they would have beat the fucking kid to death with a bat and said that he came at him with a knife, you know? | ||
| I think bad cops today are under much more scrutiny than bad cops in the past. | ||
| If you look at Serpico and shit like that, look at those Al Pacino movies and hear about the stories of corruption and that movie Cocaine Cowboys where the whole Miami Police Department, half of one year of the graduating class of the police academy, half of them were murdered and the other half of them went to jail for corruption. | ||
| They were all gangsters. | ||
| They were breeding gangsters. | ||
| I don't think that's possible today. | ||
| I think cops today are way better than they've ever been before. | ||
| But a lot of them are under a lot of stress, and they develop a fucking us versus them mentality, and they do shit like that. | ||
| And they just step on some kid's neck, and they just did it because they could. | ||
| And that's a cunty thing, man. | ||
| You can't just do something because you can. | ||
| You can't just step on some kid's neck who's not doing anything wrong. | ||
| He's a young kid, too. | ||
| The kid looks like he's like 20, 21 years old, right? | ||
| He looks like a really young kid. | ||
| Is someone going after that guy? | ||
| Is someone going after the cop? | ||
| Yeah, there's no investigation. | ||
| Look, man, this kid didn't do anything wrong. | ||
| He did everything they asked of him. | ||
| And, you know, it was creepy. | ||
| You know, I don't want to bring race into it, but he's a black kid, and they're stepping on his back and stepping on his neck, and it's, you know... | ||
| I don't know what the race of the cop was. | ||
| He looked like he was a white cop. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck he was. | ||
| But either way, man, that's fucking completely uncalled for. | ||
| If that kid had been out there throwing rocks at Carson Street, fuck yeah, step on his neck. | ||
| If that kid had been out there robbing old ladies or beating people up, yeah, fuck yeah, step on his neck, man. | ||
| Kick him in the fucking head once you have him down. | ||
| But he didn't do anything! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Honestly, you should have just compiled the law. | |
| You had him down on the ground, just handcuffed him. | ||
| Yeah, but I'm saying if you've got a dangerous person, you have to do something to immobilize them. | ||
| If you've got him lying down on the ground, man, I would for sure soccer kick him in the head if it was legal. | ||
| If you've got a really dangerous guy, if you have some Ted Bundy-type dude, and you're in a situation with him where he's resisting arrest... | ||
| You're not going to kick him in the head while he's on his way down? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Poke his stick in his butt. | |
| Wouldn't you want to kill him? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'd punch him as hard as I can in the shoulder. | |
| Punch him in the shoulder? | ||
| What's legal? | ||
| If the guy makes a move on you, are you allowed to hit him? | ||
| How does that work for a cop? | ||
| Because cops have to be careful about that, right? | ||
| For sure, they're always on edge. | ||
| Because for sure, most people don't like to be arrested. | ||
| And you never know when someone's going to fucking freak out and punch you in the face and try to get away with something. | ||
| So for sure, they have to be on edge all the time. | ||
| But when they take it out on someone who does nothing, I can't take your side anymore. | ||
| Because now you're fucked up. | ||
| I'm on your side. | ||
| When you're dealing with the cunts of the world, I'm on your side. | ||
| But when you do that to a kid because he works in a place where they sell plants that make you happy, well then you're a cunt. | ||
| That's just the way it is. | ||
| This poor cop became a cunt. | ||
| He became a cunt by doing his job. | ||
| Probably didn't even realize he was a cunt. | ||
| He realizes he's a cunt now. | ||
| Now that video got out and people realize what a fucking shitty thing that is to do to a young kid. | ||
| It's becoming real good business to raid dispensaries and just rob them. | ||
| Yeah, they take their money. | ||
| They take the money. | ||
| Now it becomes more profitable for them for more states to legalize it as medicine. | ||
| They're just going to raid and fucking pillage. | ||
| Yeah, well, I hope there's some way to stop that. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| It's a disgrace. | ||
| And it's just one of those things where people are doing something just because they're allowed to do something. | ||
| If you look at the allocation of resources and how much crime exists in our world, you would say, well, let's concentrate on the things that are really hurting people. | ||
| You know, is marijuana really hurting people? | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| You know what's really hurting people? | ||
| Murderers. | ||
| You know what's really hurting people? | ||
| Drunk drivers. | ||
| You know what's really hurting people? | ||
| People that are trying to harm people. | ||
| People that do assaults and rapes. | ||
| That's the stuff that we should be protecting people from. | ||
| Number one, when we get that under wraps, Then once you start looking at some other stuff, like personal use stuff, like alcohol, tobacco, marijuana, everything, all of the above, I think we should examine them all equally. | ||
| But what's unfair about our society is that these people that are supposed to be in control... | ||
| Supposed to be our leaders are for sure under a financial umbrella of one aspect of the community that's trying to keep these natural drugs illegal. | ||
| The pharmaceutical companies. | ||
| They would lose an incredible amount of money. | ||
| If you took all the illegal shit, like Ibogaine and marijuana, if all that stuff started getting researched and all that stuff started getting laws passed and government foundations where they set up Ibogaine research centers where people go in to relieve themselves of addictions, if that shit started happening, man, pharmaceutical drug companies would lose a fuckload of money! | ||
| I'm not saying they want people to be addicted to oxys and shit like that, but people are addicted! | ||
| And that money's coming in, man. | ||
| That money's coming in. | ||
| And it's not a little money. | ||
| It's rivers and rivers of money. | ||
| The pharmaceutical industry is so big, even if they have the best intentions, the amount of money is so staggering. | ||
| It just gets out there, man. | ||
| It finds a way to get out there. | ||
| Salesmen, even if it's not the fucking company's idea, they just take the weight off their shoulders. | ||
| Even to the pharmaceutical representatives, and the pharmaceutical representatives, they take nurses out to dinner, and doctors out to dinner, and they fund golf trips and shit, and they're like, come on, support our stuff! | ||
| They're like street hustlers, you know? | ||
| And then they connect it to the people, and boom! | ||
| People just get Pills, everywhere you look. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's amazing that we see it. | ||
| It's all written right down right there, and yet the government doesn't do anything about it. | ||
| They don't investigate that. | ||
| Instead, they go after medical marijuana dispensaries. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| If you look at the things that are doing harm in this world... | ||
| That you would spend any time whatsoever. | ||
| It's just like, why are you doing that? | ||
| You haven't done your homework yet. | ||
| You haven't finished your job. | ||
| You haven't done the right thing. | ||
| Why are you concentrating on these extracurricular things? | ||
| Because they're written down and they're easy. | ||
| It's written down that it's legal. | ||
| So even though the community would completely disagree, if you look at the allocation of resources, I guarantee you the community would completely disagree. | ||
| Forget about all the murderers. | ||
| Let's get a team of people together that aren't doing any other real police work that day and make them do something that's abhorrent. | ||
| Make them rob a bunch of fucking people that are selling marijuana state-legally. | ||
| Sad. | ||
| It's sad. | ||
| It's sad that the cops have to resort to that. | ||
| It's sad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's weird seeing the undercover cop in the video, because he was dressed up all teenage-y and stuff. | |
| The whole thing is completely sad as fuck. | ||
| I feel sad for the cops that have to do that. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I think most cops do not want to do bullshit, stupid fucking pot dispensary butts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Especially this one. | |
| This one's so small. | ||
| If you look at it, it looks like it's just a tiny operation, but they just destroyed it and stepped on people. | ||
| It's fucking gross. | ||
| I blame the leadership, man. | ||
| I blame the leadership. | ||
| I think most of these street cops, they do what they have to do because they get told what to do. | ||
| I think that we ought to look at what we're doing, man. | ||
| You can't keep arresting people for no fucking reason just because they're selling weed. | ||
| It's stupid. | ||
| It's just stupid. | ||
| Let them pay taxes, goddammit. | ||
| There's money to be made here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or treat them at least like humans. | |
| At least, you know, the whole idea of like going after them and raiding them and taking the money, it's so gross. | ||
| It's disgusting. | ||
| It's like, what are you preventing? | ||
| Are you preventing any crime other than this stupid fucking written thing that says somewhere that you're not supposed to enjoy certain experiences because the government has deemed them out of your reach? | ||
| The government that hasn't even had these experiences. | ||
| That's disgusting. | ||
| God damn it, Eddie Bravo. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| It's disgusting, right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| You checked out. | ||
| You know, the people at the high levels, they know the truth. | ||
| They know how beautiful and magical the plant is. | ||
| Do you think they do? | ||
| Of course they do. | ||
| Do you think they actually experience it? | ||
| You don't think the pharmaceutical business doesn't know that? | ||
| You think they don't have any idea? | ||
| Of course they know. | ||
| They want to stomp it out. | ||
| If you work for a pharmaceutical business, you just get pharmaceuticals like a motherfucker. | ||
| Like every day you're at the office just trading pills back and forth to each other. | ||
| Shit, yeah. | ||
| Oh, you know what? | ||
| I will say this, man. | ||
| I fucked up my back the other day in jiu-jitsu and I took a Vicodin. | ||
| I took a Vicodin and two Percocets and my back was still fucked up. | ||
| That shit fucks with your boner. | ||
| First time ever I went limp during sex. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Vicodins and Percocets? | ||
| Yeah, I was on... | ||
| Two Percocets, maybe three, and a Vicodin, and that night I try to have sex, my dick just fell apart. | ||
| It sounds like your body is probably being poisoned. | ||
| First time I went limp in a long time, many years. | ||
| That's a lot of shit, man. | ||
| Are you supposed to mix in like that? | ||
| Dude, my back's fucked right now. | ||
| It's still fucked up. | ||
| What part of your back? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Your lower back? | |
| My lower back. | ||
| It froze on me, man. | ||
| I slept on the floor last night trying to work it out. | ||
| Apparently, if you sleep on the floor... | ||
| I don't know if that's a myth, that if you sleep on the floor, it's good for your back. | ||
| You should get it in isolation. | ||
| It'll help a little... | ||
| It doesn't seem like it would be. | ||
| It seems like your back would be ruined from sleeping on the floor. | ||
| Did you get a massage or anything? | ||
| No, I haven't. | ||
| I haven't had time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don't use a pillow. | |
| But I need one. | ||
| Yeah, go to a deep tissue person. | ||
| Someone who's going to fuck your shit up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thai massage. | |
| Yeah, that's good too, but you might be in pain for a Thai massage. | ||
| They might want to bend you up and shit. | ||
| It's a lot better today than it was yesterday. | ||
| I'm on no pain pills today. | ||
| Yesterday I was on the pain pills. | ||
| I'm on no pain pills today. | ||
| And it still hurts, but at least I don't have to take any Vicodins. | ||
| Wow, man. | ||
| I never take shit when I get injured. | ||
| I hurt my back pretty bad like four months ago. | ||
| It was a real annoying thing for a while. | ||
| I'm glad that I can just deal with it because if I had gotten on something, if I had taken some sort of pain pills, I'd be taking it for a few months. | ||
| I could have got addicted easily. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know what the physiological effects of that are, but I was in some pretty good pain most of the time for like a whole month and a half. | ||
| And 98% of the time I have sex, I'm high. | ||
| And that doesn't fuck with my boner. | ||
| No, that makes it better. | ||
| Doesn't it make you more compassionate? | ||
| It makes you more sensual? | ||
| It makes the orgasm huge. | ||
|
unidentified
|
See, I'm weird about it. | |
| I like weed, but I think alcohol. | ||
| I love fucking when I'm on alcohol. | ||
| It's an inhibition thing, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A lot of people don't like the... | |
| Really? | ||
| Alcohol. | ||
| You know, people always say, uh, I can get, you know, whiskey dick, you know, or something like that. | ||
| Well, if you get really fucked up, you can get whiskey dick, but... | ||
| Yeah, you'd have to drink a lot, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I would not... | |
| I'd have to be not alive. | ||
| Yeah, you know, of course. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're a little tipsy. | |
| We've all been there. | ||
| You have a glass of wine. | ||
| I've certainly been there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Some weed. | |
| I've gotten whiskey dick before, for sure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Fuck yeah, for sure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't think I've ever done that. | |
| Dude, if you fuck... | ||
| You start... | ||
| The problem when you start drinking is alcohol reduces inhibitions, all right? | ||
| It removes your inhibitions, and... | ||
| It removes your inhibitions more with every drink. | ||
| So, you know, if you're a little tipsy, you got, like, a little bit of inhibitions removed. | ||
| You ever throw up on a chick? | ||
| No. | ||
| I did. | ||
| Right as I was about to eat her pussy. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All over her pussy. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Hot chick. | ||
| I was 19. She was like... | ||
| We were drinking Greyhounds. | ||
| I'll never forget it. | ||
| It was the Greyhounds. | ||
| What's a Greyhound? | ||
| Greyhound is... | ||
| I think it's gin. | ||
| What is it, Greyhound? | ||
| It's light green, light yellow. | ||
| I'm not sure what the alcohol is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A bunch of blueberries? | |
| It's grapefruit juice and vodka or something like that. | ||
| I think it's grapefruit juice and vodka. | ||
| Anyways, it was a Greyhound, whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| I'm not a bartender. | ||
| So, man, I couldn't believe I was getting this piece of ice. | ||
| Super hot, opened up the legs, and right... | ||
|
unidentified
|
All I remember is... | |
| I threw up on her. | ||
| They just grabbed me. | ||
| She grabbed me. | ||
| They dragged me down the hallway. | ||
| And I just remember scenes of going through the hallway, throwing up down the hallway. | ||
| And they're trying to get me to the toilet. | ||
| And I finally get to the toilet. | ||
| I have a couple more yaks left. | ||
| Never fucked her. | ||
| Never saw her again. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| Never saw that one. | ||
| There's no way you can come back from that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can fuck the throw up into her. | |
| When I was young and I first started drinking, ew, Brian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Use that lube on her ass. | |
| When I was... | ||
| Brian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Carrot in there. | |
| What? | ||
| Take the carrot out and fuck her in the ass. | ||
| Brian, please. | ||
| Enzymes are a good lubrication. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's not funny. | |
| This is retarded. | ||
| I think you can burn yourself. | ||
| You can probably burn your dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Your stomach acid in your penis hole. | |
| Sir, why do you have bile burns on your dick? | ||
| Whatever, whatever. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Fucking nothing, whatever, man. | ||
| Come on, who doesn't? | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Nobody ain't throwed up on your dick. | ||
| Yeah, blow up you threw up in her and then just said it's all slippery down there. | ||
| Let me just start. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I might be good like goobering and shit. | |
| It might be really good. | ||
| It was over. | ||
| I fell asleep while I was going down on my girlfriend once. | ||
| At least once. | ||
| When I was young, I used to have my paper route. | ||
| Yeah, that's quite common. | ||
| But I didn't fall asleep because I was tired because I threw papers all day. | ||
| I got tired of being drunk and I partied all night. | ||
| You just get home and pull down your pants and you just fall asleep or something. | ||
| She goes to the bathroom and you're just waiting and you're done. | ||
| She comes back and you're snoring. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Were you guys ever paperboys? | |
| Yeah, I was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How creepy is that now looking back? | |
| They don't have paperboys anymore. | ||
| I wasn't a boy. | ||
| I was a paper man. | ||
| I had a car. | ||
| I only delivered it with a car. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was in 6th or 7th grade, and I remember waking up at 5 a.m. | |
| My parents weren't even awake, and I would go outside and find these newspapers and have to put them in the bags. | ||
| You know what, man? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's weird. | |
| It's weird now because the fact that you are out there unsupervised, and we know how creepy people are, how creepy adults are. | ||
| But it's good for a kid to get some sort of responsibility. | ||
| Something that they don't want to necessarily do, but they do. | ||
| And learn how to just fucking... | ||
| Some shit in your life is going to need to just get done. | ||
| You're going to need to do that. | ||
| There's a good benefit to teaching a kid that early. | ||
| That's what's great about a paper route. | ||
| I remember kids that I knew that had paper routes when I was young. | ||
| They were, like, more organized than the other kids. | ||
| They're, like, more like, like, Jimmy's got a fucking landscape business already. | ||
| He's 13. Like, what? | ||
| It's a fucking landscape business. | ||
| Like, this kid, he started out with a paper route, and then, I mean, when the kid was, like, fucking delivering newspapers on a bike every morning before school. | ||
| Like, that guy's ambitious as fuck. | ||
| He would get up like an hour and a half before everybody else had to get up for school. | ||
| And he would go down with his bike, get his newspapers, and then fucking drive around on his bike and deliver newspapers. | ||
| That motherfucker had some stick-to-itiveness. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I had a friend do the same thing. | ||
| One of my good friends growing up. | ||
| Yeah, you learn. | ||
| You learn how to work hard when you're a kid like that. | ||
| But that's not good. | ||
| I was never good at waking up early. | ||
| It's torture. | ||
| It sucked. | ||
| Sleep is awesome. | ||
| Goddammit, I'm enjoying my life right now. | ||
| That's one of the things monkeys like to do. | ||
| Sit back and fucking chill. | ||
| Oh man, can I just relax a little longer here? | ||
| Apparently when you get older, you don't want to sleep in anymore? | ||
| You just wake up? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Is that true? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I've been waking up a lot earlier today. | |
| Because you always hear old people waking up at 6 or 5. People are weird. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Everybody's got their own clock. | ||
| That would be awesome. | ||
| My clock is, I'm up. | ||
| It's been my clock since I was a comedian, where you write. | ||
| Noonish. | ||
| Noonish? | ||
| You go that deep? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| I like to go noonish. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're up really, really late. | |
| 10.30. | ||
| I'm up late, but you're always up later than me, I think. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Usually like 5.00. | ||
| Yeah, my best shit gets done. | ||
| My best work gets done at night. | ||
| When I know everybody else is asleep, for whatever reason, I want to know my whole neighborhood is asleep. | ||
| I want to know there's nothing. | ||
| There's no sound. | ||
| It's like Mike Tyson shit right there. | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| Didn't he get up at 3 because he knew no one else was working out? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He would get up at 3 o'clock in the morning because I knew my opponents wouldn't be doing that. | ||
| It's really good, man. | ||
| Mike Tyson's one of the easiest... | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's an easy one. | |
| He's an easy one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Tyson and Arnold, and those are like the staples. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| For a while, when we were younger, it was Captain Kirk and Jack Nicholson. | ||
| Remember everybody would do a Jack Nicholson impression? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well... | |
| It's a weird thing, dudes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's the funniest impression right now? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| Who's like the funniest impressionist? | ||
| Who's your favorite guy? | ||
| Michael Winslow? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sandy... | |
| Is he still around? | ||
| He's the guy that makes insane noises with his mouth. | ||
| He still does voices? | ||
| Yeah, he has whammy paddles and shit. | ||
| His show is ridiculous. | ||
| You can't believe that it's actually coming out of his mouth. | ||
| He did... | ||
| What is... | ||
| Not Purple Haze. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| What is the... | ||
| I forget what the fucking... | ||
| Voodoo Child. | ||
| He did Voodoo Child at the beginning with his mouth. | ||
| You should actually pull it up because it's kind of fucking incredible. | ||
| Michael Winslow? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh yeah, we played this like... | ||
| Did we play this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, like 10 episodes ago. | |
| I don't remember playing this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, we totally did. | |
| That's the only way I know it. | ||
| No, you told me about it. | ||
| Did I really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You sure? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, we played it. | |
| Man, I forgot, but I want to see it again. | ||
| Can we see it again? | ||
| Please, because I... I forgot. | ||
| I think it was a long time ago, dude. | ||
| No, because I remember it was about maybe 20 episodes ago. | ||
| But there's something cool about watching someone imitate. | ||
| Oh, you know who was a fucking awesome impressionist? | ||
| Dice Clay. | ||
| Dice Clay has like the best John Travolta. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Amazing John Travolta. | ||
| He's got Italian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Freddie Lockhart. | |
| Jeff Richards is really good. | ||
| But it's really good. | ||
| Yeah, Freddie Lockhart's amazing. | ||
| Freddie Lockhart's Morgan Freeman, that's probably one of the best impressions I've ever heard. | ||
| It's as dead-on as you can get. | ||
| Like, if he called you up and said, I'd like to put you in a movie, you'd be like, whoa, shit. | ||
| I'd be in a movie with Morgan Freeman. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is crazy, man. | |
| This is gonna freak you out. | ||
| Have you heard this, Eddie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| This is a dude with a guitar and then Michael Winslow's mouth. | ||
| Oh, it's a whole lot of love. | ||
|
unidentified
|
that's what it is fuck yeah Way down inside What do you need? | |
| Gonna give my love Gonna give my love Fuck yeah! | ||
| Jumping in the house yo! | ||
| Come on man! | ||
| That's his mouth! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Goddamn! | |
| You know, there's a lot of comedy snobs out there, man, that got no respect for Michael Winslow. | ||
| You know, I think that guy... | ||
| That was incredible. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| That shit's genius. | ||
| There's people like, oh, he's making noise with his mouth. | ||
| That is completely not just what he's doing. | ||
| He's on some crazy another level with that. | ||
| That is wild, man. | ||
| Yeah, that was great. | ||
| The fucking noises that he can make with his mouth. | ||
| And the way he did it in tune. | ||
| And even his singing was good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| His fucking Robert Plant was good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| You have to watch that, folks. | ||
| Check that out on YouTube. | ||
| Because it's such a weird thing to watch. | ||
| You watch it and you go like, wow! | ||
| Like, you really get the... | ||
| You see the... | ||
| Like, that's his mouth! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Motherfucker. | |
| Do you think he smokes weed? | ||
| He's got to. | ||
| I'm going to say yes. | ||
| If he doesn't, I would be shocked. | ||
| If he doesn't, he's even more impressive. | ||
| If he doesn't, you got to get him high and then shit. | ||
| He'll take that shit to the next level. | ||
| Could you imagine the fucking noises that guy would make if he doesn't? | ||
| Alien noises and shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I wonder if when he fucks, if he has a little joke he does to the ladies. | |
| Probably throws his voice and shit. | ||
| Pretends to be other people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He probably has that killer snap. | ||
| Because everyone's got an okay one. | ||
| I got a cool one. | ||
| But he's probably got a fucking one that's in stereo. | ||
| Well, he probably could pretend to be different dudes, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| Come in with a fucking Australian Catarachist hat on and a long mustache and a new voice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I just want to eat this pussy. | |
| If there was a thing like what we were talking about earlier about actually having an artificial experience and if we ever get to the point technologically where they can do that, like shut you off and tune you into some crazy fake avatar world for like an hour, would you be willing to take that chance? | ||
| Would you be willing to try that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Depends if I have a vagina. | |
| I would be Kenato Laranja just for one hour. | ||
| But I mean, would you trust it? | ||
| Would you trust it? | ||
| I mean, would you... | ||
| Look, when you have a psychedelic experience, the scariest part about it is right before you're about to do it. | ||
| You know, when you're like, fuck, I can't fucking... | ||
| I'm gonna let go here. | ||
| If people were dying from this shit, no. | ||
| I wouldn't do it. | ||
| I'd wait for the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
What if it was the first time? | |
| You wouldn't want to be the technological version of the artificial lip. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I would trust that more than trusting Cricket Mobile's thing to the moon. | |
| Then you'll see those fucking commercials. | ||
| Have you been another person in another life? | ||
| If you have chosen Spider-Woman, you could have cancer. | ||
| We'll fight for you. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You never know. | ||
| These pills that come out, a year later, they're giving you fucking heart attacks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, there's some of them that are certainly doing that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dr. Drew. | |
| Yeah, Dr. Drew's in deep shit. | ||
| What's up with that? | ||
| Dr. Drew apparently was paid to talk up, or allegedly, I should say, paid to talk up the sexual side effects of certain... | ||
| What are they called? | ||
| Viagras? | ||
| No, antidepressants, but I forget the actual technical term. | ||
| Anyway, this type of antidepressant on many people, with many formulations, causes people to go limp. | ||
| But some girl calls up and says she had like 150 orgasms, and then Dr. Drew was apparently pushing this stuff. | ||
| And they paid him a quarter of a million dollars to do that. | ||
| And he didn't really necessarily disclose that they paid him All this money. | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But I would like to see that girl do 150 orgasms or whatever. | |
| That'd be so hot. | ||
| Yeah, that bitch sounds crazy. | ||
| But you never know when people are trolling. | ||
| She's calling Loveline, man. | ||
| She could be totally trolling. | ||
| I mean, there's people who completely pretend that they have something wrong with them when they don't. | ||
| For sure they get a lot of people that are legit. | ||
| But we know all the trolls on the internet. | ||
| You don't think that people are compiling some troll footage on Loveline? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Check out her mattress. | |
| See if there's any stains. | ||
| I'm sure if you have that much orgasms, there's going to be a lot. | ||
| Yeah, that's what you would do. | ||
| Well, I'm not sure if I believe your story, ma'am. | ||
| So let me come to your house and deeply investigate your claim by going into your fucking bedroom and examining your mattress. | ||
| Do you even hear yourself? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you ever look at your old mattress? | |
| I just got a new mattress. | ||
| That's how I know it. | ||
| I took off my sheet. | ||
| It looked like fucking brown drip. | ||
| It looked like a lot of liquids and stuff. | ||
| Then there was some blood spots. | ||
| There was a lot of different colors. | ||
| Easy over here. | ||
| They say that your mattress actually gets heavier with human skin cells. | ||
| Your mattress, when you buy it, is X amount of weight. | ||
| Then you have it for a couple of years. | ||
| It's heavier. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's creepy as shit, man. | ||
| Dust. | ||
| Dust mines. | ||
| We're gross. | ||
| We're gross, man. | ||
| That's what dust is. | ||
| Most of it is our skin. | ||
| Our creepy fucking skin. | ||
| That's why you put sheets on your mattress. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you know what's key? | |
| Constantly scrubbing everything. | ||
| This time around I got something that's like these waterproof sheets where you put it around your whole entire mattress and it locks it in so nothing can get in there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And it's on the outside. | |
| It feels like nice cushion. | ||
| And then you put your regular sheets on top of that. | ||
| And it totally will make that shit not happen. | ||
| You know, like the stains and all the dust and skin and bugs. | ||
| It makes it waterproof, pretty much. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Check those out. | ||
| They're called waterproof sheets, I think they are. | ||
| Oh, so does it feel like slimy underneath you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no. | |
| Does it slip around? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, because it's like on the outside, it's like a fabric. | |
| Like a fabric, a real soft, almost like teddy bear. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Damn, I would hate it. | ||
| Back in my single days, I would hate it when girls would have like periods and shit during sex. | ||
| Like, you just ruined my... | ||
| This shit went all the way through to the mattress. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| That sucks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That shit sucks, man. | |
| Everyone has... | ||
| Not everyone, but... | ||
| I'm sure you've had a mattress or two that had all sorts of stains. | ||
| I don't look like a UFC man. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
UFC man? | |
| You gotta put a towel down, son. | ||
| They don't always tell you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or they say, dude, no, I'm done. | |
| I stopped yesterday. | ||
| And then you fuck them and it starts back up. | ||
| And then you have a girl that squirts and just... | ||
| Don't you feel embarrassed for the girl, though? | ||
| Do you ever actually get upset at a girl if she has her period? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| No, I don't. | ||
| I don't, but I don't like when it's messy. | ||
| I've always been so happy that someone was willing to fuck me. | ||
| I'm like, oh, well, you made a mess. | ||
| Oh, you shit the bed. | ||
| Well, let's just clean that up and not worry about that. | ||
| I don't mind blood all over my dick. | ||
| I can just wash that shit up. | ||
| It's just now I got stains on shit. | ||
| Yeah, there's a difference between that, like where you fuck them and it's accidentally blood, or when they just know that their period was near and they're like, no, I just want to sleep naked. | ||
| And you're like, come on, that's not taking responsibility for having an open wound, you know? | ||
| Oh, does it leak out while they're sleeping? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I guess so. | |
| I mean, that's how it leaks out in their panties, you know? | ||
| What a weird design, huh? | ||
| What a fucking crazy design. | ||
| Like, for, you know, one time every month, your shit just sort of falls apart. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It doesn't happen. | |
| How weird, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What if our dick's blood? | |
| Like, just pee blood all the time. | ||
| It's just strange. | ||
| It's just a strange thing. | ||
| I think that happens when you get 90. Yeah, it just sheds. | ||
| The inside of your dick sheds. | ||
| Honey, would you blow me? | ||
| But I'm on my period. | ||
| Some girls would like it. | ||
| They want the extra protein of the blood. | ||
| Goth chicks, they'd want to blow you when you were on your period. | ||
| It'd be really hot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Man. | |
| Yeah, we're lucky in a lot of ways, man. | ||
| We're lucky we don't give birth. | ||
| I've always said that if men had their dicks explode, like a girl's pussy has to go through damage, or if you had to get a cesarean to have a kid, like, how many kids would there be? | ||
| If dudes got pregnant, we had to have a cesarean every time we gave birth. | ||
| If you're like, oh, Connie, I'm out of work. | ||
| I got no fucking time to have a cesarean. | ||
| Can't take me out of work for a month. | ||
| Jesus fucking Christ. | ||
| Or if our dicks exploded. | ||
| Can you imagine the dudes that would want to carry a baby? | ||
| What if that was the two options? | ||
| You could either go the old school way where your dick explodes and never use it again. | ||
| Would that almost be gay, right? | ||
| Well, maybe that would be the way that they would prevent men from having more than one child. | ||
| The child would come out of your dick. | ||
| You have sex with a woman, and you feel like you're impregnating her. | ||
| You shoot a load out, but it actually goes back inside of you from the woman. | ||
| Something. | ||
| She drops a fucking hatch in there. | ||
| You get the egg from the woman. | ||
| It plants inside your body. | ||
| Maybe that's it. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| And so when the baby comes out, it comes out through your dick. | ||
| And boom! | ||
| That's it. | ||
| One kid. | ||
| That's all you get. | ||
| Raise it right. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's a crazy idea. | ||
| That actually is probably a good idea. | ||
| That might be the best way to save the world. | ||
| We've got to re-engineer people so that babies come out of men and their dicks explode. | ||
| And that'll put everything in perspective. | ||
| There'll only be a thousand people on Earth, though. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| Not even a thousand. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Be like a hundred. | ||
| A hundred little fishing villages scattered throughout the world with dudes with just blown out dicks. | ||
| Or you shit on a baby. | ||
| That would be awesome. | ||
| They'd figure out a way to plant a baby inside your large intestine. | ||
| You'd be so selfish. | ||
| You'd be like, you really want to shit on your baby? | ||
| Oh, that's ridiculous. | ||
| That doesn't make sense. | ||
| You just ruined the what if. | ||
| You might as well go there. | ||
| You just brought it so ridiculous that you made a shit baby. | ||
| Hey, that's realistic, man. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Well, didn't you used to have a sketch that you wrote called Shit Baby? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| My friend Amir had a really funny joke about, and my friend, he was like real like deadpan. | ||
| He's like, yeah, my friend got his girlfriend pregnant from anal sex. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The baby looked like shit. | |
| Somebody just said that exact same joke the other day. | ||
| That was the premise of Shit Baby. | ||
| It's not like the most brilliant original thought. | ||
| It was just the way Amir did it, it was very funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So funny. | |
| James Lemur was his name in Boston. | ||
| He had a different name. | ||
| His real name is Amir. | ||
| A very Jewish name, but he changed it to James Leamer. | ||
| Shit Baby was about... | ||
| The opening scene is some girls getting plowed in the ass really hard. | ||
| Dude nuts. | ||
| Pulls out, jumps in the shower. | ||
| She's laying there face down, huffing and puffing. | ||
| The camera zooms in on the butt. | ||
| And you see cum dripping out of the butthole into the pussy, right? | ||
| Dun, dun, dun. | ||
| So then she gets pregnant. | ||
| When she has the baby, woven into the baby's DNA is that smell of feces. | ||
| That's the problem with the baby. | ||
| The baby just stinks like shit. | ||
| There's flies around the baby at all times. | ||
| This chick brings up this kid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is a documentary, right? | |
| This chick brings up this kid that smells like shit. | ||
| I mean, everywhere she goes, she's spraying everywhere. | ||
| I think the question would be real. | ||
| Smell is a weird thing, man. | ||
| It's really weird that we all accept that there's some invisible shit that we can take in with a hole in our face. | ||
| You know, it's kind of weird. | ||
| You know, the invisible shit that's awesome, like when you walk into a good burrito place and you smell the Mexican food cooking, like, oh, shit! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fogo? | |
| Yeah, Fogo, perfect example. | ||
| You smell that meat as it's coming by. | ||
| It's weird, man. | ||
| It's like a weird, invisible thing. | ||
| But your nose can pick it up. | ||
| You can even smell where things, like if you pick up your underwear and go to the crotch... | ||
| You can smell that you've worn it. | ||
| You can smell your body. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Some invisible identity shit that you leave behind. | ||
| Nothing's worse than human shit, for sure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That, that, bad pussy and feet. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Bad feet, that's it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| A corpse. | ||
| Anything that's trying to keep you away from it. | ||
| It's interesting how that works. | ||
| Your brain is really fine-tuned to get away from anything that's really bad for you. | ||
| And so it sounds an alarm when you're in the presence of a decaying corpse. | ||
| All those chemicals send an alarm through your system and you just... | ||
| Nobody likes it. | ||
| The thought of eating that corpse is impossible. | ||
| There's a small percentage of people that do like it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, well, some people like, you know, all sorts of weird things. | ||
| The smell of a dead, rotting body. | ||
| Can you imagine that? | ||
| If you knew somebody that actually liked that and they confessed that to you, like, say, I don't, I've never told anybody before, but I fucking love rotting flesh. | ||
| I think that that could be possible, like, for anything. | ||
| I mean, I think there's people that are nutty enough to get in love with anything. | ||
| They can get... | ||
| They're in love with cutting their own finger. | ||
| What's the latest with the bath salts? | ||
| Give me the latest. | ||
| I know you know the latest. | ||
| Well, what bath salts are, and this is what it's been explained to me, is that you can take a drug that's an illegal drug, and all you have to do is change certain molecules in that drug, and then you release it, like you add like a salt to it, and you release it as bath salts, and you say not for human consumption. | ||
| But people know what it actually is, and you can go and buy it, and you're essentially buying, like, sort of a designer drug. | ||
| You're buying something that hasn't been classified, and they're really intense. | ||
| And they have really bad profiles. | ||
| Like, if you look at, like, there's arrowid.org that shows a lot of trip reports. | ||
| Whatever the compound that they're calling, there's several different types, I think. | ||
| I might be wrong about that. | ||
| I don't think bath salts is necessarily just one thing. | ||
| I think there's been more than one. | ||
| But someone, please, on Twitter, correct me if I'm wrong. | ||
| So I think it's a problem of they can do that with several different drugs. | ||
| I think they can do that with things that are illegal. | ||
| Just change. | ||
| If meth is illegal, change meth. | ||
| If ecstasy is illegal, change it a little bit here. | ||
| Add a little bit here. | ||
| And they're doing it without... | ||
| Any real research as to what kind of an effect these hardcore drugs are going to have in this sort of hybrid form? | ||
| You know, this is just letting people take this stuff. | ||
| You know, and people, this, you know, I don't know how many people are taking it and losing their fucking mind, but a few people seem to me. | ||
| It seems to be a good one. | ||
| It seems to be one that's got quite a fucking kick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
MC Chris has a new song about taking bath salts and it's awesome. | |
| Did he do it? | ||
| Did he actually take bath salts? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no, no, no. | |
| But it's just really addicting. | ||
| It's one of the songs, once you hear it, you're just singing it all the time. | ||
| It's like about, you know, doing bath salts and wanting to eat your face off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's great. | |
| Who does this? | ||
| MC Chris? | ||
| Is he funny? | ||
| Is he a funny rapper? | ||
| But they said that dude wasn't on Bass Halls. | ||
| The guy that bit the guy's face off? | ||
| They're saying now that he was on marijuana. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That's a reefer madness propaganda. | ||
| Do you want to reveal it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No. | ||
| Dude, that's way worse than reefer madness propaganda. | ||
| They never said you'll eat someone's face, right? | ||
| That's worse. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's hilarious. | |
| Back in the 30s, they were saying that if you smoked weed, you'd go crazy and shoot people. | ||
| Well, they didn't really have the capacity to test for this hidden metabolite. | ||
| They tested for things that were known. | ||
| And that's what the argument is against it. | ||
| I don't know if that's correct either, by the way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Basalt's illegal in Vegas, so if you want to maybe do it this weekend, guys. | |
| Is it legal in Vegas? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Wow, I hope they take care of that. | ||
| I don't know what that is. | ||
| That's a scary thing to me, though. | ||
| And the fact that these people are breaking down medical marijuana dispensaries while they're selling basalts, while other people, rather, are selling basalts. | ||
| What's so funny? | ||
| Brian just sent a picture. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Somebody on the message board. | |
| Wow, that was quick. | ||
| Me throwing up on some chick's pussy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's hilarious. | |
| What's the dude's name? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who's that? | |
| Slain Injectillo. | ||
| Slain Injectillo. | ||
| That's hilarious, that pic. | ||
| I'm going to tweet this pic real quick. | ||
| Wow, that's a hard word. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Slain Injectillo. | |
| That's a great pic. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That's the internet for you, folks. | ||
| The internet will always be on shit like that. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| I'm about to tweet the picture so you know what we're talking about. | ||
| I'll retweet it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you see this girl with her nice muffler? | |
| It's like a snake. | ||
| Brian, we're doing a podcast right now. | ||
| You're looking at porn. | ||
| You're getting distracted. | ||
| If I was your boss. | ||
| Oh, wait. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's the message porn. | |
| It's the corporate website, Joe. | ||
| It's headquarters. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you see Ted yet? | |
| Anyone? | ||
| No, I have not seen Ted yet. | ||
| I heard it's awesome. | ||
| I heard it's one of the funniest movies of all time. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I heard it's hilarious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't love it. | |
| You didn't love it? | ||
| I never fell in love with it, but it was so great the whole time that I like it a lot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Meaning there's nothing wrong with it. | |
| It's a great movie. | ||
| I recommend it to everybody. | ||
| But I never did that extra where... | ||
| Oh my god, I want to buy a Ted teddy bear now. | ||
| And like, you know, like freak out. | ||
| Buy Ted shirts and stuff. | ||
| You don't want a teddy bear? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It never got to that level. | |
| It was pretty good though. | ||
| You turning into a six year old? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was pretty good. | |
| That's a fucking crazy level. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, I bet the sequel will be a million times better. | |
| What are you talking about? | ||
| Why would you say that? | ||
| You're just spouting off crazy shit today. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, it's four and a half stars. | |
| Oh, out of five. | ||
| Brian, that's pretty fucking good. | ||
| That sounds like an awesome movie. | ||
| But not five. | ||
| Seth MacFarlane, I probably kept him off the podcast right there, you fuck. | ||
| You probably think about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's a couple parts. | |
| There's this asshole. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's a couple parts. | |
| There's this red band asshole. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, they remade a remake. | |
| Like, it was weird. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| I don't know what it's about. | ||
| I'm going to check it out. | ||
| Don't say anything. | ||
| Don't say a word, you fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm going to add a director's cut. | |
| I think it would be better. | ||
| Maybe it is a director's cut. | ||
| What the fuck do you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe, yeah. | |
| Yeah, you don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, there probably is. | |
| There's mushrooms in it. | ||
| Is he on cocaine today? | ||
| Something's going on, right? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Lack of sleep. | |
| It's animated. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Lack of sleep. | |
| Lack of sleep. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Been electrocuted. | |
| I've been... | ||
| When was the last time I went to Olive Garden? | ||
| Last Sunday. | ||
| Be honest. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Seriously, last Sunday. | |
| Be honest. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Last Sunday. | |
| That's what you want to stick to the story? | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I went with somebody that's never been there before, and it was their first time, and they had prejudged it. | |
| I don't really want to talk about the Olive Garden, you guys. | ||
| Are you fucking kidding me here? | ||
| What the fuck is wrong? | ||
| We have a couple hours to do this. | ||
| You're going to let this guy sit and talk about breadsticks? | ||
| How about them Dodgers? | ||
| Don't make me bring in Joey Diaz. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck? | |
| Why are you fucking talking to him with Joe Rogers? | ||
| Did you see the new Joey Karate? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can I say one thing about the Olive Garden? | |
| It's kind of weird. | ||
| No. | ||
| They're combining Red Lobster and Olive Garden in Test Market City so you can actually choose between both menus. | ||
| Isn't that cool? | ||
| Because they're going bankrupt. | ||
| They're trying this thing. | ||
| You haven't seen the new Joey Karate? | ||
| No, I haven't seen it. | ||
| That's great, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is it? | |
| He kills it. | ||
| Is he talking about the upcoming fights? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Pull it up. | ||
| All the big ones. | ||
| Put it on. | ||
| How do you find it? | ||
| It's 10th Planet Kush episode 25. 10th Planet Kush episode 25. This weekend's going to be insane. | ||
| He breaks it off. | ||
| That rematch is the biggest rematch of all time. | ||
| In my opinion, as far as fights that I want to see, this is, in my opinion, the biggest rematch of all time. | ||
| This isn't the greatest fight of all time. | ||
| Are you kidding? | ||
| Greatest fights are rematches, generally, because there was something crazy. | ||
| What's that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
39, you said? | |
| No, 10th Planet Kush, 25. 25. Joey crushes it. | ||
| Yeah, this is the biggest rematch ever, right? | ||
| Yeah, here it is. | ||
| If you ain't following at Mad Flavor, go fuck yourself. | ||
|
unidentified
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This is under Twister Eddie on YouTube, by the way. | |
| That's where I found it. | ||
| Got volume? | ||
| It's gonna start right. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| It's good. | ||
|
unidentified
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Boom! | |
| Greetings, cocksuckers! | ||
| We're here, Burbank Headquarters. | ||
| It's 192 fucking degrees out there, but I'm giving you the preview for UFC 148. I'm giving you the parlay of the year. | ||
| Everybody's complaining. | ||
|
unidentified
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Who's gonna win? | |
| Tito, Anderson, Chao. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| We're just trying to get paid, bitches, with a fucking parlay. | ||
| First up, Chad Mendez. | ||
| Who's he fighting, guys? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Cody McKenzie, whatever his fucker. | ||
| Cody McKenzie against my man Chad Mendes, coming off a fucking knee in Brazil. | ||
|
unidentified
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Let me tell you something. | |
| If you get a knee in Connecticut and a knee in Brazil, two different fucking stories. | ||
| He's coming back. | ||
| He's going to beat up on McKenzie. | ||
| That's one lock. | ||
| My second lock is Damian Maia against Yum Yum Kim. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yum Yum Kim. | |
| Damien's dropping down to fucking 170. He's a jiu-jitsu maniac. | ||
|
unidentified
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But all of a sudden he wants to beat Muhammad Ali. | |
| He's gonna go up against Young Yum Kim. | ||
| A black belt in judo. | ||
| Flipping motherfuckers like Carol Parisian before the fucking painkillers. | ||
|
unidentified
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Amazing! | |
| You understand me? | ||
| He's gonna get fucking Damien Maier at 170 and he's done. | ||
| Done! | ||
| So that's my parlay. | ||
| It's Young Yum Kim against Chad Mendes. | ||
| You wanna make money or you wanna fucking play games with the other buddies? | ||
| Now, you're saying, Joey, what about Tito against Forrest Griffin? | ||
| Ten fucking psychics on the strip can't pick that one. | ||
| You understand me? | ||
| All I know is I'm watching some interview show with Tito. | ||
| I love him to death. | ||
| He's in the Hall of Fame. | ||
| And they're like, Tito, why are you quitting? | ||
| Why the fuck is he quitting? | ||
| He's one, one, and six. | ||
| You understand me? | ||
| It's time to go, cocksucker. | ||
| That's all I can tell you. | ||
| I love you to death. | ||
|
unidentified
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Congratulations, you and Forrest Whitaker. | |
| I love the fucking fight, but I wouldn't bet you motherfuckers at all. | ||
| Another fight on the card is Comely, the flying fucking master of kicks on Cinemax versus the comeback, the leg. | ||
|
unidentified
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What's his name? | |
| Patrick fucking Cote fighting. | ||
| I'll come back in the UFC, slip that one in. | ||
| So you got Kung Lee against fucking Damian. | ||
| Who's he fighting? | ||
| Oh, he's fighting Patrick Cote, the one fucking legged man from Canada. | ||
| And I'm going with Patrick Cote. | ||
| That's a squeezer. | ||
| Now you're going, Joey, what about Chael? | ||
| What about Anderson? | ||
| I'm going to give it to you fucking straight and damn here, right? | ||
| Chael Sonnen is a fucking champion. | ||
| He took it to Anderson Silva, whatever. | ||
| Anderson Silva's a fucking savage, alright? | ||
|
unidentified
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He worked at McDonald's. | |
| He was making Big Macs fucking 15 years ago. | ||
| He's angry. | ||
| He went down to Brazil. | ||
| He thought about it. | ||
| He hugged his 19 fucking kids. | ||
| He's got a bus full of kids, Anderson. | ||
| And he's back. | ||
| He's going to Las Vegas this weekend. | ||
| Let me tell you something. | ||
| Jail, I love you to death, but it's all over the shop. | ||
| And I don't care what the odds are. | ||
| I don't care what fucking Kenny Florian says or John Anik. | ||
|
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I don't give a fuck! | |
| This is going to be ugly. | ||
| I'm going with my man Anderson Silva to fucking take it to jail. | ||
| The last time he fought bad, and he got him in the fifth fucking round, he got beat up. | ||
|
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Can you imagine a healthy fucking Anderson Silva? | |
| Take your little fucking pennies. | ||
| Forget going to the strip club. | ||
| Put it on Anderson. | ||
| You got the fucking parlay, Mendez, and who else? | ||
|
unidentified
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What the fuck, people? | |
| Are you all sleeping here, cocksuckers? | ||
| Yum Yum Kim against Cody McKenzie. | ||
| What's the fucking Paulette? | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Yum Yum Kim against my man fucking Chad Mendes. | ||
| That's the Paulette of the year. | ||
|
unidentified
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Tenth planet. | |
| Take it from there. | ||
| Yum Yum Kim is not fighting Chad Mendes. | ||
| Cody McKenzie's fighting Chad Mendes. | ||
|
unidentified
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You fucked it all up. | |
| Kush, motherfuckers. | ||
| Right there. | ||
| Oh my god, he's so high. | ||
| Well, our apologies to the great Dong Hyung Kim for Joey Diaz messing up his word. | ||
| Calling him Yum Yum Kim. | ||
| That's kind of rude. | ||
| How dare he? | ||
| I thought it was hilarious. | ||
| If I was him, I'd be pissed off. | ||
| I thought it was hilarious. | ||
| People are calling him Yum Yum Kim now all over the internet. | ||
| What do you think about Damien Maia dropping down to 170? | ||
|
unidentified
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He's going to be a big 170. If he can do it, right? | |
| If he can do it and be healthy. | ||
| For folks who don't know, you don't follow MMA, Damian Mai is one of the best jiu-jitsu guys to ever enter into MMA. He's a multiple-time world champion, just a really killer technical jiu-jitsu guy, and he entered into MMA, and for a while, he was strangling a lot of people, including Chael Sonnen. | ||
| He got Chael Sonnen a mounted triangle. | ||
| Remember that shit? | ||
| Pulled him on. | ||
| He took him down. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| What the fuck did he use? | ||
| Was it a lateral drop? | ||
| I think it was a lateral drop. | ||
| I think he caught Chael off guard because Chael did not think he was going to take him down. | ||
| Didn't think he was going to try that move. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He like lateral dropped him and then mounted triangle to him. | ||
| It was so sweet, man. | ||
| It was like really the quickest I've ever seen Chael get submitted. | ||
| It was like when he got taken down, it was like bang, whoop, oh shit, he's caught, tapped. | ||
| It was just His jujitsu, Damien Maia, when he's on, when he catches you, is so picture perfect, man. | ||
| He's such a beast. | ||
| And if he's able to get a hold of guys at 170, he'll be even better. | ||
| But it's about whether or not this is healthy. | ||
| And whether or not he could still take him down at 170. There's monsters like... | ||
| Jake Shields. | ||
| There's guys that he's not going to be able to take down. | ||
| I think his jujitsu, you make one mistake with Damien Maia, you're fucked. | ||
| He's a finisher. | ||
| He knows how to close the deal. | ||
| He catches you in a triangle. | ||
| It's over, son. | ||
| You're not escaping. | ||
| He's... | ||
| Totally professional when it comes to submissions. | ||
| I just liked it, liked it better when he had more faith in his half guard, because in, you know, early UFC days, he wouldn't hesitate to pull guard. | ||
| He pulled guard, he actually pulled half guard, and there's a big difference between jumping guard, pulling guard, and pulling half guard. | ||
| He pulled half guard, he had a lot of faith in his half guard in the early, his early UFC fights, but He likes to stand more now, and he has totally made a conscious decision not to pull guard, not to have that as an option. | ||
| And I think he should reconsider that option and look at what Paul Sass is doing. | ||
| He's just... | ||
| When Paul Sass fights, he's completely taking the dudes wrestling and striking out of the mix. | ||
| Because if Paul Sass is fighting a combo fighter who's a world champion kickboxer, killing K1, and he's an Olympian wrestler, To him, he's gonna pull guard anyway, so he takes those two skill sets out of the picture. | ||
| I'm not saying that you should just go out there and pull guard like Paul Sass. | ||
| But if you have a guard like Paul Sass, you should pull guard. | ||
| Yeah, and Damian Maia does have a guard like Paul Sass. | ||
| He does. | ||
| He has a very dangerous guard. | ||
| Damian Maia's guard is amazing. | ||
| He just is chosen not to have that as an option anymore, and I think it, I always call it the third option, and it should be an option in your game. | ||
| What do you think keeps him from it? | ||
| Do you think getting hit on the ground? | ||
| I think, well, a lot of people think that they say that they don't work on their guard techniques or their half guard. | ||
| They don't refine it because in MMA, when you're on your back, you're losing. | ||
| That's like the thing to say about that. | ||
| And professional fighters, a lot of them think that this way, that if you're on your back, you're losing. | ||
| Yes, but you're also losing if you're on your feet getting tattooed with punches. | ||
| You're also losing there. | ||
| So what's the difference if you're losing on your feet and losing on the ground? | ||
| At least if you have a really good half guard game... | ||
| You have a really good full guard game. | ||
| You have a really dangerous rubber guard. | ||
| If you got a lot of heat off your back, there is a way for you to win off your back. | ||
| Instead of, oh, I'm on my back, I'm losing, there's no hope. | ||
| If Aoki's on his back, there is hope for him. | ||
| Well, you remember when Jason Day fought Alan Belcher and just held him in rubber guard and elbowed him? | ||
| Yeah, you could just do that. | ||
| You could just hold a dude in mission control and throw elbows. | ||
| It's been proven that it's very effective. | ||
| It's out there. | ||
| The evidence is there, but just, you know... | ||
| Well, you just got to get wicked good at it. | ||
| I mean, a guy who's going to pull it off is a guy like Vinny. | ||
| Vinny Magalhães, he's going to be able to pull it off. | ||
| If he could get the fight to the ground, because Vinny is not the greatest wrestler on the planet, and he's not the greatest striker on the planet. | ||
| He is improving both vastly. | ||
| He's working on it. | ||
| And he has accepted. | ||
| I talked to him personally. | ||
| He has accepted that he will pull guard if he can't take the guy down. | ||
| Because there's only three things you can do in a fight. | ||
| And I've said this many times. | ||
| There's only three things. | ||
| You could stand with a guy, you could try to take a guy down, or you can pull guard. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| There's no other way to fight. | ||
| You fight on your feet, you fight, you try to take him down, or you pull guard. | ||
| Most people only have two options. | ||
| If they can't take the guy down, they better be able to beat him standing or they lost. | ||
| Just like that. | ||
| I wish that the cutting weight was not in the equation. | ||
| This bothers me. | ||
| But what I'm talking about has nothing to do with weight. | ||
| What I'm talking about is having the options. | ||
| Having strategies. | ||
| Three ways to win. | ||
| Most fighters only have two ways. | ||
| I think the fighter of the future is going to have three ways to win. | ||
| He's going to be a serious striker and can fucking knock you out. | ||
| But if shit ain't going right standing, he can take you down because he has Olympic... | ||
| John Jones. | ||
| Yeah, wrestling. | ||
| Or if he can't take you down... | ||
| Or if you can't take your opponent down and he's beating you standing, if you have a wicked guard, you have the option to pull guard like Paul Sassaton. | ||
| He wins all his fights by pulling guard. | ||
| It's his first option. | ||
| I don't agree that it should be your first option all the time. | ||
| I think... | ||
| I would want my fighters to get as good as possible with their striking and their wrestling. | ||
| If you could take a guy down, don't fucking pull a guard. | ||
| Take his ass down. | ||
| If you could beat him standing, don't take him down. | ||
| Keep standing with him. | ||
| You own this guy. | ||
| But if my fighter is getting on standing and he can't take the guy down, you have to pull guard. | ||
| That's the only thing you can do. | ||
| And that's not an easy thing to pull off. | ||
| It's not easy. | ||
| You just don't sit... | ||
| I'm not talking about... | ||
| Especially with a guy like Paul Sasse's opponents. | ||
| They know what he's looking to do. | ||
| Pulling guard has become very complex. | ||
| You've got to understand the difference between jumping guard. | ||
| Jumping guard is when you're against the fence like Stefan Struve did. | ||
| He had his back against the fence. | ||
| So it was really easy. | ||
| Because he was being pinned on the fence, really easy to just jump up and go koala on him. | ||
| He jumped guard, pulled him down, and went right to an arm bar. | ||
| It works. | ||
| There's an option. | ||
| There's a way out. | ||
| Anytime you're on your back in a fight, all fighters out there, anytime you've been on your back and had a guy in full guard, you actually had an opportunity to beat that guy right there. | ||
| Don't look at that. | ||
| If you have a wicked Paul Sass type guard. | ||
| Vinny Magalaya's guard. | ||
| Shinya Yoki's guard. | ||
| There's only a few people who've really taken the time to master fighting off your back because most fighters coming in, they listen to their instructors and the instructors say, oh, if you're on your back, you're losing. | ||
| Well, especially if you get on your back with a fucking big wrestler that you can't hold on to, like a Jake Ellenberger type character. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's going to ground and pound your fucking face off. | ||
| That's a scary spot to be. | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| Trapped under a wrestler. | ||
| It's not that scary if you're Vinny Magalhães. | ||
| He wants you to be on top and start being aggressive and start punching. | ||
| Or Fabricio Verdun. | ||
| Fabricio Verdun, like Ryan Parsons was talking about when they trained ground and pound Fabricio. | ||
| It's like none of this stuff works on him. | ||
| His guard is so good. | ||
| He's always like feet on your hips and feet on your shoulders. | ||
| He's always touching you and moving you. | ||
| The one-dimensional fighter, we already know they're gone. | ||
| They're gone. | ||
| They're all retired already. | ||
| One-dimensional. | ||
| And then you've got like two-dimensional fighters. | ||
| There's guys that can have pretty good stand-up and they're good wrestlers. | ||
| Jiu-jitsu ain't that good. | ||
| Those guys aren't going to last either. | ||
| You have to be really good at all aspects of the game. | ||
| Striking, wrestling, top game jiu-jitsu, and bottom game jiu-jitsu. | ||
| You have to be good at all those levels, I think, in the future. | ||
| Right now, it's, you know... | ||
| It's not a popular view to, in the MMA world, to really focus and polish up your bottom game. | ||
| That's not a thing you want to do. | ||
| That's like admitting you already lost. | ||
| That's like admitting that your wrestling is not going to be good enough. | ||
| Admitting that you're not a fucking fierce striker. | ||
| Admitting that you're afraid to stand and strike with someone. | ||
| That's what a lot of guys want to go out there. | ||
| There's jujitsu guys. | ||
| There's a bunch of them. | ||
| I don't want to name names, but a lot of guys go out there. | ||
| They're jujitsu world champions, and they want to stand and trade. | ||
| They want to be kickboxers now. | ||
| It's kind of weird, isn't it? | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of them. | ||
| I think this is my experience. | ||
| I think that... | ||
| To get over that most jujitsu fighters a lot of them generally have a fear of Doing stand-up because they're not that good at it. | ||
| It's not their sport now They're thrust into a kickboxing sport where they're not that good. | ||
| They spent their whole life on the ground So there is an element of fear because you can get knocked the fuck out so to conquer that fear and And to fucking stand with professional strikers and get some fucking licks in and take their best shots, I can see that empowering them and making them feel like a fierce warrior where they're like, fuck pulling guard. | ||
| This is awesome. | ||
| I'm actually standing with professional strikers taking their shit and knocking dudes out every now and then. | ||
| Fuck yeah, I'm standing. | ||
| I can see them really liking that rush, that feeling, I conquered fear. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It feels good, like they don't give a fuck about getting hit. | ||
| I think it makes them feel good. | ||
| It's not the best strategy to win a fight, but for their own personal empowerment, and I'm sure it's glorious. | ||
| I can see that. | ||
| You know, when George Jurgel goes out there, he's a black belt in Jiu Jitsu, he fucking loves the trade. | ||
| He loves that shit. | ||
| It makes him feel like a fucking savage, you know? | ||
| I can see that. | ||
| I'm like, okay, I understand. | ||
| Yeah, he seems like he's having a good time. | ||
| Yeah, because that takes a lot of balls to actually do it. | ||
| It's like base jumping, you know? | ||
| It's just, you can only do that for so long. | ||
| You can only take so much. | ||
| It's not an unlimited resource. | ||
| So back to Damien Maia, I think, if you're listening out there, I loved it when he used to pull half guard. | ||
| If you could take the guy down, take the guy down. | ||
| Stay on top. | ||
| But if it's not happening... | ||
| Maybe he's going to be healthy and fast at 170. Maybe 170 will make him faster. | ||
| Vinny said he will not hesitate pulling guard if he can't... | ||
| If he can't take the guy down. | ||
| He'll always try to take the guy down, but if he can't, he won't hesitate. | ||
| And that gives him a lot of confidence. | ||
| He talks to me like, and that gives him confidence. | ||
| Like, one way or the other, I'm going to drag the fight to the ground and bring them to my world. | ||
| No longer is he going to pretend to be a kickboxer. | ||
| That's what he told me. | ||
| Did you see Brian Ebersole's fight with TJ Wahlberger? | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| Dude, Brian Ebersole is hard to choke, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That guy's weird. | ||
| Even though TJ Wahlberger lost... | ||
| I think he has a lot of potential, and he looked great on his back. | ||
| He just needs to tighten up a lot of shit and keep going and keep polishing his game, but his guard looked dangerous as hell. | ||
| Ebersole is really hard to tap. | ||
| There's something going on with that guy, man. | ||
| Because he talks about the myth of the guillotine. | ||
| People can't tap him with the guillotine. | ||
| I don't know what his deal is. | ||
| He might have large aortas in his neck or something. | ||
| Yeah, or maybe he's just been grappling for so long that he could just fight that shit off. | ||
| Maybe he knows how to fight that shit off, but he doesn't tap the guillotines, he says. | ||
| He says guillotines are a myth. | ||
| He's a freak, man. | ||
| I think Marcelo can tap him, though. | ||
| I bet, right? | ||
| Go to Marcelo's. | ||
| He'll guillotine you. | ||
| Because Marcelo's guillotine, the Marcella teen... | ||
| I think it's the best choke in the game. | ||
| It's proven. | ||
| The research is out there. | ||
| If you really want to find the best choke in the game, you should know as many chokes as possible. | ||
| But the best one, for sure, the research, the evidence, it's all out there. | ||
| The Marcelo team. | ||
| The way Marcelo does his guillotine, steady that shit. | ||
| What is the main difference? | ||
| He's not choking you. | ||
| It's not like a blood choke. | ||
| He's smashing your throat. | ||
| So you tap real quick. | ||
| They're really quick taps. | ||
| Because if you get a guy in an arm in guillotine, you might have to crank it maybe 15, 20 seconds, maybe 30 seconds, you're twisting. | ||
| Maybe 35 seconds, bam, he finally gives up and taps. | ||
| The Marcella team comes in a flash. | ||
| Your throat gets smashed and you start tapping. | ||
| It's a different kind of guillotine. | ||
| It's the most effective guillotine out there by far. | ||
| Does it put guys to sleep still, even though it's smashing the throat, or is it just all pain? | ||
| From my experience, people are just tapping from the pain. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| But it is kind of a choke where you can't breathe. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, your throat's being smashed. | ||
| You can't breathe. | ||
| You've got to tap quick. | ||
| So if you can't breathe because your throat is getting blocked, do you fall asleep? | ||
| Maybe you still fall asleep. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, I've never seen a guy who I've been more impressed with with his choke defense than I ever saw. | ||
| He's crazy. | ||
| He doesn't even seem uncomfortable. | ||
| His head gets all red and he guts it out and then he's on top throwing bombs. | ||
| It seems like he's really hard to choke. | ||
| Yeah, he's a warrior, man. | ||
| Tough fucking dude, man. | ||
| I'm a big fan of Brian Ebersole. | ||
| And a guy who's not afraid of getting choked like that, he can put himself into all kinds of weird situations. | ||
| It's very strange. | ||
| I'm a fan of anybody who has the balls to just do a cartwheel kick. | ||
| He nails people. | ||
| This is the kick that people thought it was a fake fight. | ||
| He got in a situation when the commission people thought that he had a fake fight, like it was pro wrestling. | ||
| They didn't believe that you could actually kick somebody like that. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That shit has a lot of power. | ||
| That's like a wheel kick, axe kick. | ||
| And more powerful than that, really, because it's got gravity going in its favor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is that? | |
| What kind of kick? | ||
| What's it called? | ||
| It's a cartwheel kick. | ||
| Cartwheel kick. | ||
| Yeah, that's what Steve Jenim... | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Harold Howard tried it on Steve Jennum. | ||
| Remember that shit? | ||
| UFC 3. Was it 3? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Came out and cartwheel kicked. | ||
| It was a legit technique in karate point fighting and different... | ||
| I think that was probably the root of it. | ||
| It was karate, I think, was the root of it. | ||
| But it fucking works, man. | ||
| If you learned how to do it right, you could nail somebody. | ||
| Ebersole's knocked guys out with it. | ||
| He tried it. | ||
| He tried it on TJ. He's a wild motherfucker. | ||
| He's gonna fight again in Calgary. | ||
| They just added him on to that car, I think. | ||
| So he'll be fighting just a few weeks after his last fight. | ||
| What do you think about Tito Forrest? | ||
| I think it's good when guys have had great careers and they're probably close to the end of those great careers and they're fighting each other. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| What gets me concerned is when I see one of these guys that's been in the game a long time, he's a legend in the game, and he's fighting like a top young lion. | ||
| That I always feel like, ooh, I don't want to see this. | ||
| I like those too. | ||
| You like those? | ||
| Yeah, because it's like a Rocky story. | ||
| If you could pull it off. | ||
| Remember Rocky was 65 when he came back? | ||
| Yes, but there's some guys that, you know, they cross a threshold where you don't want to see them get hurt. | ||
| Like, they cross a threshold where you see them, you know, get laid out a couple of times. | ||
| And you're like, alright, I'm not really into seeing this dude get hurt any further. | ||
| You know, especially by some young killer. | ||
| You know, you see some young dude who just has lightning fast strikes and just comes in and lights him up. | ||
| What do you think about Young Young Kim and... | ||
| Dong Young. | ||
| Dong Young Kim. | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| I think Kim is getting really good with his kickboxing. | ||
| His movement and his feet is way better. | ||
| Dong Young Kim? | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| He's got... | ||
| Who did he rock? | ||
| He rocked somebody with a jumping front kick to the face. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then finished him off. | ||
| Who the fuck was that? | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| But Damien Maia's striking is getting better as well. | ||
| It is. | ||
| He's not afraid to throw down. | ||
| His striking is pretty decent. | ||
| He hurt Mark Munoz. | ||
| He tagged Mark Munoz. | ||
| I think he really surprised the shit out of him. | ||
| There's a couple of Brazilians that are turning into legit strikers. | ||
| Damien Maia and Fabrizio Verdum. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, Fabricio Verdum. | ||
| It's crazy watching guys blossom, right? | ||
| Yeah, he's got a, I mean, Fabricio Verdum's got like a real kickboxing game now. | ||
| Throws nasty knees, leg kicks. | ||
| He caught that dude with an uppercut, you know, a clean uppercut. | ||
| He's a dangerous guy. | ||
| That's a big dude, man. | ||
| When you stand next to Fabricio Verdum, his fucking feet are like that big, his hands are big. | ||
| That's a real heavyweight. | ||
| He's that motherfucking handful. | ||
| You know who impressed the fuck out of me? | ||
| Charles Oliveira, man. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| That is a true savage right there. | ||
| Sean Pearson was the guy that Dong Young Kim hit with a jumping front kick in the face. | ||
| And Sean Pearson's fucking good, man. | ||
| And he's got a victory over Nate Diaz. | ||
| He's got a victory over Amir Sadala. | ||
| He's fucking good, man. | ||
| Dong Young Kim is good. | ||
| He's no joke. | ||
| And he's not scared to go to the ground either. | ||
| He's strong as fuck. | ||
| He's a really good judo guy. | ||
| Real good defense. | ||
| It could be a decision, right? | ||
| Or it could be a submission, man. | ||
| It could be a submission. | ||
| They could go to the ground and Damien Maia might just lock him up. | ||
| And 170, if he can come in healthy, you know, if he weighs like a healthy 185, 190 or something come fight time, that's going to be weird to see. | ||
| But how old is Damien? | ||
| He's probably in his mid-30s? | ||
|
unidentified
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Probably. | |
| 32, 33 or something like that? | ||
| Yeah, something like that. | ||
| I should find out before I talk about that. | ||
| Because that has an effect also on cutting a big amount of weight this late in your career. | ||
| It's gonna be interesting to see what he looks like at seven. | ||
| I'm sure he's a smart guy though if he's doing anything I'm sure that he's doing it the right way 34 if he's doing anything you know he spends a lot of time training with a lot of wrestlers and I'm sure they're gonna give him like the exact right way to do it and you know he's not he's such a bright guy I would assume that he would absolutely do it the correct way and he would only I mean must have made some some test runs But I have split feelings on shit like that. | ||
| I just think it's so unhealthy. | ||
| When dudes cut a shitload of weight, it's just like, man, I don't think you should cut that much weight. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| It just seems so unhealthy. | ||
| It seems like there's a point of diminishing return that a lot of guys cross over. | ||
| You know, I think you get to around like 8, 10 pounds, 5 pounds, something like that. | ||
| That's nothing. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| That's fine. | ||
| That's fine. | ||
| It's barely even going to hurt you. | ||
| You're going to be fine. | ||
| You know, you go back, you refuel. | ||
| But when dudes are cutting 25, 30 pounds, like they're Anthony Johnson coming in like weighing almost 200 pounds and they're fighting at 170, that's kind of crazy. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| How do you stop that, though? | ||
| How do you tell people that they can't do that anymore? | ||
| Well, if you can make it, then that's your spot. | ||
| That's where you should be. | ||
| If you can make it, that's your spot. | ||
| I know, but what a weird way to do business. | ||
| Everybody has to almost kill themselves the day before we're going to fight. | ||
| Everybody has to literally starve to the point where you're really unhealthy. | ||
| You look terrible. | ||
| There's a lot of guys who step on the scale 24 hours before a big fight and they don't look good at all. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Who knows that more than you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or there's guys like BJ Penn who would choose to fight at 170 and he doesn't even really weigh 170. He would weigh like 166. You know, when BJ fought like Matt Hughes, I think he was like 166. He's been as low as like 164 and he's fighting welterweights, you know? | ||
| There's that way to do it, too. | ||
| I mean, Frankie Edgar won the lightweight title, you know, that way. | ||
| By being a real 155-pound dude, fighting dudes who are, you know, probably like 175 maybe. | ||
| 85. Maybe even, yeah. | ||
| I mean, Grant Maynard's a big dude. | ||
| He's thick as fuck, man. | ||
| You know, I don't know how much Gray cuts, but he looks big. | ||
| He gets to be 230 during offseason. | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
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No. | |
| Didn't Mike Goldberg say he gets to, like, 200 or something, though? | ||
| He's been 200? | ||
| Probably, probably. | ||
| Like, Joe Stevenson used to hover around 200 for a while, and he'd cut down on 55. Same thing with Chris Brennan. | ||
| Did you see Joe Stevenson? | ||
| He left the UFC, and he just lost to that dude, Dakota Cochran, the guy who had been in... | ||
| He had, like, some sort of a career in gay porn. | ||
| He fought Joe Stevenson? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Undercard? | ||
| You don't know this whole thing about tough? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, he was on The Ultimate Fighter, and he needed some money in his past, so he did some gay porn, and they let him on the show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| And I thought that was cool. | ||
| I was like, you know, like, all right, you know, like, why not, man? | ||
| Let the kid on the show. | ||
| Why wouldn't you let him on the show? | ||
| Isn't the show all about, like, trying to get your shit together? | ||
| I mean, how many of the guys that are on the show have been in jail? | ||
| How many of the guys on the show have been in jail for assault? | ||
| Has it been any? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It might not been any. | ||
| They probably wouldn't allow you to, right? | ||
| They'd probably, like, make sure that they didn't get responsible for anybody that was dangerous. | ||
| I don't even know the answer to that question. | ||
| But, so the dude had a little problem in his past. | ||
| It's in the past now. | ||
| Unfortunately, there's a video of it. | ||
| And they let him on the show. | ||
| I think that's cool. | ||
| But he didn't make it, and he lost. | ||
| But he's good, man. | ||
| He's fucking good. | ||
| He's real good. | ||
| He beat Joe Stevenson. | ||
| He fucked Joe Daddy up, dude. | ||
| Fucked Joe Daddy up standing, then caught him on the ground and got him in the rear naked and finished him. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Dude, and he had his back a couple of times. | ||
| He fucked Joe up, man. | ||
| He's good. | ||
| He's good. | ||
| He's explosive. | ||
| He's really fast. | ||
| Who did he lose to on The Ultimate Fighter? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Bert Kreischer. | ||
| He may have gotten hurt, I think. | ||
| Did he? | ||
| I think you're right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think you're right. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| This last season, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because I saw the last season. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck happened to him. | ||
| We should look it up. | ||
| We should look it up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Brett Kreischer's new show starts tonight at 9. We're talking about MMA, son. | |
| Trip Flip. | ||
| He's watching right now. | ||
| He's a sweetie. | ||
| He's a sweetie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Here it is. | |
| I'm trying to find out. | ||
| What about Silva, Sonnen? | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| What do you think is going to go down? | ||
| I mean, anything could happen, really. | ||
| We can see the exact same fight again, and this time Sonnen pulls it off and stays out of trouble. | ||
| Or maybe Anderson Silva's got to the point where he's really hard to take down now, and Sonnen's having a hard time taking him down. | ||
| Maybe he takes him down once or twice, but... | ||
| It's the third round and he's having a hard time. | ||
| He's forced to strike with Silva and Silva takes him apart. | ||
| Or we could see Sonnen hurting Silva standing and then going right through him. | ||
| Anything could fucking happen. | ||
| You just don't know. | ||
| You know, who knows? | ||
| Maybe Sonnen takes Silva down immediately and Silva comes after him with an incredible guard. | ||
| He just, instead of like being cautious like he was in his last fight and he threw that triangle up in the fifth round, like go after him right away. | ||
| We might see that and he might fucking tap him in a triangle in 30 seconds. | ||
| Anything can happen. | ||
| Who the fuck knows? | ||
| This Dakota Cochran dude, he came in as a late replacement against Jamie Varner and dominated Jamie Varner at Titan Fighting Championships. | ||
| I guess he won a decision over him there. | ||
| And then he lost on the Ultimate Fighter to some dude named James Vick. | ||
| He lost to Vick via split decision. | ||
| This is his Wikipedia. | ||
| He performed in 16 videos under the stage name Danny. | ||
| Fully disclose this information to the UFC. So the UFC said, alright, whatever. | ||
| They're probably loving it. | ||
| Just for the interesting angle. | ||
| But the dude can fight. | ||
| Forget about all that. | ||
| He can fight his ass off. | ||
| He beat Jamie Varner and he beat Joe Stevenson. | ||
| If he blows up, there's going to be other sections when an Armenian fighter fights. | ||
| There's a section where they're all Armenians. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| There's going to be gay sections. | ||
| Probably, man. | ||
| That'd be awesome, dude. | ||
| I think the dude is straight, though. | ||
| He only did it for money. | ||
| Oh, come on. | ||
| Well, that's what he says. | ||
| But for sure he has a big gay following. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| And dude, what if they show up in droves? | ||
| That would be awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| What if gay dudes start entering into fighting? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That would be cool. | |
| Fucking dudes up. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| They might have more anger than your average dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All that shit. | ||
| Well, also, it might be a real mindfuck for a straight dude to get beat up by a gay guy. | ||
| Like, that might be a mindfuck. | ||
| Like, not only does this guy beat my ass, he could fuck me. | ||
| And he might want to. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, maybe that would work for him. | ||
| For a lot of dudes, it probably would. | ||
| For a lot of dudes, it probably would. | ||
| When he gets your back, that's real. | ||
| Yeah, there's got to be a style out there specifically for anal rape. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That's jujitsu for sure. | ||
| You'd have to have a base in jujitsu, but it'd get technical because you'd have to pin the arms a certain way, pin his knees a certain way to get penetration. | ||
| It's totally different drills. | ||
| It's hard to hold them in place. | ||
| Yeah, but it could be like cop tactics, like police tactics, where there's jujitsu in there, but they got the baton, they got something else going on, they got to handcuff them. | ||
| I think maybe you have to handcuff them first. | ||
| Handcuffs have to be part of your style. | ||
| Let's not give anybody any ideas. | ||
| That just seems like a rude thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's the easiest way, right? | |
| A rude thing to do to a person. | ||
| Why even bring that up? | ||
| What a terrible thing to do to a person. | ||
| That's definitely not using martial arts for good. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| I fucked up. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Have you seen this thing, I'm going to change gears completely, about these things that they found, these portals in the universe, these hidden portals between the Earth and the Sun. | ||
| They're totally confused, but they're some sort of a guide door, a shortcut, and there's an opening in the space or time field. | ||
| Is this legit? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Tweet that shit. | ||
| Yeah, it's a NASA-funded researcher and plasma physicist, Jack Scuder of the University of Iowa, claims he has figured out a way to find them, and they're called X-points, or electron diffusion regions. | ||
| And so there's, you know, the idea is that there's pathways in our galaxy, that our galaxy isn't just, it's not just like, you know, you have to go from here to there. | ||
| No, you can actually go in this thing, and it might take you somewhere else. | ||
| Like a real wormhole. | ||
| Can you imagine if we find out that wormholes are just like tunnels that just exist all over the place? | ||
| And you know how you can, you know, just drive through the tunnel? | ||
| Well, you can just go through the wormhole. | ||
| And that's what you do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoop! | |
| And you're on the other side. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Have you seen a documentary? | ||
| That was the ultimate stoner response. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, Jim Morrison did it. | |
| I can do it too. | ||
| Do you know anything about the Coral Castle in Florida? | ||
| Yes, I do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That dude who made some crazy castle. | |
| Brian, pull this up because I don't understand the science of it and I'm sure I'm butchering it. | ||
| It's NASA discovers hidden portals in space. | ||
| It's on YouTube and it'll explain it. | ||
| NASA discovers hidden portals in space, and it's on YouTube. | ||
| So it'll explain better what they mean by portals. | ||
| But the way I'm saying it, and I'm sure I'm fucking it up, but in my rudimentary understanding of it, it means that the universe is not just one flat sort of... | ||
| It's not the same everywhere. | ||
| There's little pathways and shit. | ||
| There's things that exist that, you know, not just black holes, but other things that will take you through to somewhere else. | ||
| Which is kind of nuts. | ||
| I mean, someday, some future generation of ours might be able to actually traverse something like that, you know? | ||
| I mean, it's really crazy to wrap your head around that we might figure out one day how to navigate through the universe and fucking go through an actual portal into another place. | ||
| It's hard to wrap your head around. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I mean, just basic shit like the Earth's magnetic field, you know, and that there's certain points on the planet where there's hyper-magnetic activity. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Presented by Science at NASA. That guy sounds like he gets no pussy. | |
| A favorite theme of science fiction is the portal, an extraordinary opening in space or time that connects travelers to distant realms. | ||
| A good portal is a shortcut, a guide, a door into the unknown. | ||
| If only they actually existed. | ||
| It turns out that they do, sort of. | ||
| And a NASA-funded researcher at the University of Iowa has figured out how to find them. | ||
| We call them X-points, or electron diffusion regions, explains plasma physicist Jack Scudder of the University of Iowa. | ||
| They're places where the magnetic field of Earth connects to the magnetic field of the Sun. | ||
| Creating an uninterrupted path leading from our own planet to the Sun's atmosphere 93 million miles away. | ||
| Observations by NASA's Themis spacecraft and Europe's cluster probes suggest that these magnetic portals open and close dozens of times each day. | ||
| They're typically located a few tens of thousands of kilometers from Earth, where the geomagnetic field meets the onrushing solar wind. | ||
| Most portals are small and short-lived. | ||
| Others are yawning, vast, and sustained. | ||
| Energetic particles can flow through the openings, heating Earth's upper atmosphere, sparking geomagnetic storms, and igniting bright polar auroras. | ||
| NASA is planning a mission called MMS, short for Magnetospheric Multiscale Mission, due to launch in 2014 to study the phenomenon. | ||
| Bristling with energetic particle detectors and magnetic sensors, the four spacecraft of MMS will spread out in Earth's magnetosphere and surround the portals to observe how they work. | ||
| Just one problem. | ||
| Finding them. | ||
| Magnetic portals are invisible, unstable, and elusive. | ||
| They open and close without warning. | ||
| And there are no signposts to guide us in, notes Scudder. | ||
| Actually, there are signposts. | ||
| And Scudder has found them. | ||
| Portals form via the process of magnetic reconnection. | ||
| Mingling lines of magnetic force from the Sun and Earth crisscross and join to create the openings. | ||
| X-points are where the crisscross takes place. | ||
| The sudden joining of magnetic fields can propel jets of charged particles from the X-point, creating an electron diffusion region. | ||
| To learn how to pinpoint these events, Scudder looked at data from a space probe that orbited Earth more than 10 years ago. | ||
| In the late 1990s, NASA's polar spacecraft spent years in Earth's magnetosphere, explained Scudder, and it encountered many X-points during its mission. | ||
| Because Polar carried sensors similar to those of MMS, Scudder decided to see how an X-point looked to Polar. | ||
| Using polar data, we have found five simple combinations of magnetic field and energetic particle measurements that tell us when we've come across an X-point or an electron diffusion region. | ||
| A single spacecraft, properly instrumented, can make these measurements. | ||
| This means that a single member of the MMS constellation, using the diagnostics, can find a portal and alert other members of the constellation. | ||
| Mission planners long thought that MMS might have to... | ||
| If you want to hear the whole thing, go online. | ||
| I'm sure most of us are not absorbing that. | ||
| We're going to have to go back and listen to that and read the paperwork on it. | ||
| But that sounds fucking crazy. | ||
| Finding new things like that in space is like weird. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| It's like the idea that we already figured out what was out there. | ||
| Oh, there's some new shit. | ||
| Here's some invisible magnetic portal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oops. | |
| Here's some new shit. | ||
| Did you hear about this new civilization they discovered that lived 8,500 years ago somewhere near Spain? | ||
| They found it underwater. | ||
| They have pottery, all kinds of shit. | ||
| Apparently this area used to be above ground. | ||
| Somewhere between 11,000 and 6,000 years ago it slowly sank away. | ||
| They've recovered human bones and pottery. | ||
| It seems like every other month there's some new groundbreaking discovery that pushes back the date of civilization. | ||
| It's amazing, you know? | ||
| This Gobekli Tepe was like the first big one, and now they're always finding, like, they found these concentric rings in the ocean floor that they believe is Atlantis, and I think that's somewhere around Spain. | ||
| You know, there's all sorts of speculation that there might have been a fuckload of civilizations that were, like, really, you know, pretty advanced for the time, and they were living right by the water, and they're gone now. | ||
| The water level changed. | ||
| What do you think about that Baltic Sea saucer? | ||
| You think it's just a rock? | ||
| I'm pretty sure it's a rock, yeah. | ||
| Have you looked into it? | ||
| Yeah, I haven't seen any photos that make me think it's anything other than weird rocks. | ||
| Did you hear about the divers going down there and trying to fuck with it? | ||
| Yeah, the power shuts off. | ||
| Yeah, it could be their equipment sucks at high depth. | ||
| It could be the pressure of the equipment. | ||
| The equipment failed. | ||
| Sometimes people look for shit to be something crafty. | ||
| I would love it if it was something crafty. | ||
| But I saw the pictures and I'm like, that shit looks like rocks, man. | ||
| They're like, well, there's a pearl necklace. | ||
| It's like scattered rocks. | ||
| You guys are reaching. | ||
| This is just rocks. | ||
| Maybe when you're down there looking at it eye to eye, it looks different. | ||
| And maybe there's some shit that they haven't been able to photograph yet. | ||
| Then once you see it, you go, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. | ||
| This is a fucking... | ||
| Somebody made this. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| It's possible. | ||
| But most of the time, I think, there's plenty of shit out there that they could be looking at. | ||
| You ever see those giant stones? | ||
| You think the scientists are faking their enthusiasm? | ||
| They're like, wait. | ||
| No. | ||
| They're enthusiastic. | ||
| It doesn't mean, you know... | ||
| I don't know if they're looking to see something. | ||
| I don't know if what they can actually see is much cooler than the shit they've shown us. | ||
| The shit that they've shown us is like, you see this big rock, and I don't know why we're supposed to think that's special. | ||
| But rocks sometimes form in weird forms. | ||
| Graham Hancock said it's just a rock. | ||
| That's what his... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| His assessment of it was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, okay. | |
| It's a peculiar rock. | ||
| That's what he believes it is. | ||
| But, you know, this is just the beginning of data. | ||
| No one knows but the people who are down there staring at it. | ||
| You know, it might be some aliens versus predator fucking temple, and we just, you know, we're getting cocky. | ||
| Or just some old civilization that used to be above water. | ||
| Could be, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Could be easy. | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How much would be left of something if it was underwater from 30,000 years under the ocean? | ||
| How much of that shit gets jacked? | ||
| Maybe it's like part of some Russian experiment or something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe it's a troll. | ||
| It's a big troll. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I mean like some vessel that the Russians were fucking with like 30 years ago. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think they're saying it's a stone. | ||
| It's a stone structure. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| Natural structure. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| I believe they're saying it's stone. | ||
| I think there's just some peculiar like pathways in it and stuff like that. | ||
| But it could be just some weird ass stone. | ||
| I haven't looked that into it. | ||
| I just saw maybe a five-minute news clip on the latest dive, and they said they went down, all the power goes off. | ||
| They came up, and they went back twice. | ||
| It sounds awesome. | ||
| If I was going to write a script, that's what I would write. | ||
| And one of the guys was the biggest skeptic. | ||
| Now, he can't explain it. | ||
| He doesn't want to make a statement, but he's saying this is not normal. | ||
| What is the latest? | ||
| When was the last time you announced it? | ||
| It was a news report. | ||
| Yeah, look at it. | ||
| This Baltic UFO news report. | ||
| Yeah, what's interesting is it's so sexy to want to think that this is from some other planet. | ||
| You know, it's so intriguing. | ||
| Imagine if we really found a fucking ship at the bottom of the ocean and it was just dressed up like a rock. | ||
| Because that's what you would do if you wanted to hide your ship. | ||
| You make it look like a fucking rock. | ||
| I mean, they're aliens. | ||
| They can come here from another planet, but it has to look like a ship. | ||
| That's so stupid. | ||
| Maybe they made a fucking alien spacecraft that looks like rocks. | ||
| So when it's on the bottom, it's just chilling like a rock. | ||
| Of course they should be able to alter their environment or the way they look to their environment. | ||
| So maybe that's what it is. | ||
| I would love that. | ||
| That's the best thing. | ||
| That would be the most fun news story that would change the world. | ||
| But I'm not convinced. | ||
| New dive details. | ||
| Photos. | ||
| Look for the news story. | ||
| Yeah, there's some photos. | ||
| Brian, can you find it so I can see it? | ||
| That show the rocks. | ||
| It's like a BBC thing, maybe. | ||
| I mean, it's interesting, man. | ||
| Hopefully it's something, but it might be bullshit. | ||
| It might totally be a natural thing. | ||
| Their equipment might suck. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| But, like I said, it's sexy to think that it's not. | ||
| The whole idea of UFOs is the sexiest idea ever. | ||
| That there's actually going to be something. | ||
| You forget your bills, forget what the fuck is on TV, even if it was like the final season premiere of the Game of Thrones, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Last season, first episode, you know, final season premiere of the game, still would take seeing a UFO. Remember, if I remember correctly, and I could be wrong about David Icke, like, in the beginning of his career as being, like, a dude who lectures on Illuminati type stuff... | ||
| He said some shit about reptilians and then a lot of people turned, that turned him off. | ||
| They're like, fuck, David Icke is that reptilian guy. | ||
| He loses me when he talks about reptilians. | ||
| So then it seemed like he stopped talking about reptilians for a while. | ||
| But recently I just saw this seminar he did and he gets in depth about reptilians. | ||
| He says that all the world leaders have David Icke, I just saw this last week, are being controlled by reptilians that are on a different frequency and they're around them controlling them. | ||
| You just can't see them. | ||
| They're actually controlling the world leaders. | ||
| That's what he thinks. | ||
| And he's talking about this in his lecture. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's amazing that he can do this. | ||
| I think he's an entertainer. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| I think part of what he does is he's an entertainer. | ||
| I think he's a lot like... | ||
| There's a few other guys that I don't buy for a second. | ||
| He's one of them. | ||
| I think he's got some really good, valid information that he mixes in with some crazy shit. | ||
| And he creates a whole cottage industry. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| Alex Jones was totally against David Icke for a while because of the reptilian thing. | ||
| Totally against him. | ||
| And then he actually became friends with David Icke and he doesn't really want to get into it, but he says that the reptilian thing makes more sense to him now. | ||
| And they're cool now. | ||
| They hated each other. | ||
| They used to talk shit on each other. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| Now they're cool. | ||
| They've been cool for a while, though. | ||
| Alex Jones is a big sweetie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the reality. | ||
| The reality is Alex Jones is always a big sweetie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's one of the coolest fuckers to hang out with. | ||
| He's a really nice guy. | ||
| You know, people would never believe it if he watches Doom and Gloom! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know how crazy is it that we've partied with him in Vegas and got hammered with him? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hammered. | |
| We had a great time with him. | ||
| He's an awesome guy. | ||
| He is not a bad dude, man. | ||
| He just gets all worked up. | ||
| Yeah, and he loves talking. | ||
| Even when the cameras are off, he can talk all that conspiracy talk non-stop, 24 hours. | ||
| He never gets tired of it. | ||
| I love hearing it. | ||
| I got Alex Jones sitting next to me at Wolfgang Puck. | ||
| Well, he's Illuminati with the situation. | ||
| He was brought in by Kennedy in the 60s, 1961, Operation Thundercat. | ||
| He'll fucking hit you with some shit, and you're like, what? | ||
| But a lot of what he's saying is right. | ||
| Hell yeah, I love Alex Jones, man. | ||
| I love his shit. | ||
| You can't be right all the time. | ||
| Everyone's wrong, and sometimes he's wrong about shit. | ||
| You don't discount all the fucking beautiful info that he has. | ||
| He goes after it. | ||
| Yeah, he's going to miss a lot. | ||
| If you're going to judge someone on being wrong about this or that because he was wrong about Y2K, everyone's wrong about some shit. | ||
| You can't be right about everything. | ||
| Well, it's the doom and gloom, guys. | ||
| There's a certain amount of entertainment to it. | ||
| You've got to recognize that much like Fox News has committed itself to being conservative, he has committed himself to a doom and gloom. | ||
| And to a certain extent, that's the problem that I had with Rupert Murdoch. | ||
| Not Rupert Murdoch. | ||
| I don't know Rupert Murdoch. | ||
| Michael Rupert, when Michael Rupert was on the show. | ||
| And he would alternate between thinking that it was going to be the end of the world or thinking that people were going to pull it together. | ||
| And I think that you can get caught up in thinking that everything's going to fucking fall apart. | ||
| You can get caught up in that. | ||
| It's real easy. | ||
| It's real easy to just decide it's all coming to an end. | ||
| It's easy to do, you know? | ||
| And I think... | ||
| You get caught up in that the whole world is corrupt and there's doom and gloom everywhere and you get caught up in that whole Alex Jones conspiracy mentality. | ||
| Well, a lot of it's fucking real, man. | ||
| Yeah, it's true. | ||
| We don't live in a society where the government is all about the people. | ||
| We don't, whether you want to believe it or not. | ||
| The way I look at it is I'm not going to go out there and picket shit, you know. | ||
| Who knows, maybe I'll change my mind if it affects, if something happens that affects me personally, maybe I'll be out there with a picket. | ||
| But one thing we can all do is we can all use Twitter or Facebook just to make people aware. | ||
| I think everybody is aware. | ||
| And that's just from Twitter and from Facebook. | ||
| If they're aware of what's going on, I think slowly we change. | ||
| Because I really think that... | ||
| You know, there is light at the end of the tunnel from all these conspiracy theories and all that shit. | ||
| I think that there is hope that if everybody was aware, and today more than any other time in history, more people are aware that the government is fucking them than ever before because of the internet. | ||
| So I just think let's just keep making people aware. | ||
| Just keep pounding them over the head with the information. | ||
| Look at the studies. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Look what they're doing. | ||
| Some people just do not want to believe that the government doesn't have our best interests. | ||
| They don't want to believe that. | ||
| They get angry if you bring it up. | ||
| You don't have any proof. | ||
| That's not proof. | ||
| There's 1,500 people. | ||
| Engineers and architects that are band together. | ||
| They've gone out of their way banding together saying, dude, Tower 7 was demoed. | ||
| I mean, they're banding together. | ||
| And when people say, you know how many architects there are? | ||
| There's fucking hundreds of thousands. | ||
| So 1,500 got together? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| If 1,500 architects got together and petitioned and said, this house is condemned. | ||
| It's going to fall apart. | ||
| It's dangerous. | ||
| Would you say... | ||
| There's only 1,500 architects. | ||
| There's 100,000 of them. | ||
| No, you'd go, wait a minute. | ||
| I'm not moving into that motherfucker. | ||
| That's kind of an unfair comparison because you're talking about a public event. | ||
| And when you talk about a public event, the entire world saw this one public event. | ||
| So you're dealing with millions and millions and millions and millions and millions of people. | ||
| To get 1,500 that think there's something going on. | ||
| Architects and engineers. | ||
| Look, I'm just saying, 1,500 crazy people is not unlikely. | ||
| I agree, obviously. | ||
| I've always agreed. | ||
| There's something wrong with that thing. | ||
| It fell down like a controlled demolition. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's weird that that doesn't freak people out. | ||
| And it's weird that you can't sue the fuck out of someone who built a building for you and it catches on fire and just fucking collapses like that. | ||
| What about the former head of Star Wars that's coming out? | ||
|
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Making some serious allegations. | |
| He's saying the former head of Star Wars. | ||
| Is he a scientist? | ||
| He's a bunch of shit. | ||
| He's coming out and saying that based on the evidence, based on all the shit he knows about 9-11, Based on all that shit, he thinks it looks like it's probably Dick Cheney was running all this shit. | ||
| That's what he's saying! | ||
| He said Dick Cheney! | ||
|
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Cheney shot first. | |
| Former head of the Star Wars program says Cheney, main 9-11 suspect. | ||
| Official version of events, a conspiracy theory, says drills were to cover for attacks. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| The drills were cover for attacks. | ||
| The former head of Star Wars missile defense program under Presidents Ford and Carter has gone public to say that the official version of the 9-11 is a conspiracy theory and his main suspect for the architect of the attacks is Vice President Dick Cheney. | ||
|
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Whoa! | |
| That's fucking shit. | ||
| You get murdered over. | ||
|
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Wow. | |
| People get murdered for way less. | ||
|
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Way less. | |
| It is funny, though, that people don't want to hear that. | ||
| It is funny that this is something that would anger people. | ||
| Read about his background. | ||
| Is he legit? | ||
|
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Oh, yeah. | |
| Is this a legit guy? | ||
| Yeah, he's 100% legit. | ||
| He was the head of Star Wars. | ||
| Star Wars is a very interesting program, and I think we've talked about this on the podcast before, but Star Wars scientists... | ||
| Have been murdered. | ||
| A great number of them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, here we go. | ||
| All the guys that deny the 9-11 shit. | ||
| The head of Star Wars is saying it was all bullshit. | ||
| The head of fucking Star Wars. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| You're still going to deny it? | ||
| There's so much evidence. | ||
| But in all fairness, he's a scientist. | ||
| And he could be some crazy left-winger. | ||
| And just because he's a genius scientist doesn't mean he's not... | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Yeah, but people always talk about credibility. | ||
| If they would say, if there was some guy on the street and said, I saw bombs, I heard bombs go off, they'd go, he's just some dude on the street. | ||
| Now we got former head of Star Wars, he could be crazy. | ||
| You can't just, at some point, you gotta go, goddammit. | ||
| At some point, you gotta go, of course it's fishy. | ||
| Of course there's people banding together. | ||
| 22 Star Wars researchers all committed suicide. | ||
| 22. All committed suicide? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Well, the thing was, the idea was, the conspiracy theory was, that the Star Wars program was bullshit. | ||
| And it never worked. | ||
| And they never had some real missile defense shield that they could shoot in space and knock fucking missiles out of the sky. | ||
| Of course that was bullshit. | ||
| They never developed that level of technology. | ||
| So they had to sort of hide the fact... | ||
| That it was a big giant money grab. | ||
| They tried to look into it. | ||
| Congress approved it or whoever the fuck approved it. | ||
| They look into it and then it just started stealing money. | ||
| So all these scientists that were involved in this that knew it was horseshit, they just knocked them all off. | ||
| That's the kind of money that you're dealing with. | ||
| You're dealing with the kind of money that can kill 22 researchers. | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
| Sounds about right, right? | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Doesn't that sound totally believable? | ||
| The witnesses of the Kennedy assassination. | ||
| There's a new video that... | ||
| What is his nickname on YouTube? | ||
| MysticMaker37? | ||
| He's... | ||
| The Tangerine Show, or Tangerine Show, rather, on Twitter. | ||
| He made this video, and in the video, he talked... | ||
| It was a clip of us on the podcast talking about the witnesses to the Kennedy assassination. | ||
| And how many witnesses died because they were murdered, car accidents, electrocution, suicide, got hit by trains. | ||
| Like, a crazy amount of them died. | ||
| And there's a documentary about this? | ||
| Send me a link. | ||
| And they sent the... | ||
| Their calculation was that the odds of all of these people who had witnessed this one event get murdered or were killed in accidents in such a short period of time was one in something trillion to one. | ||
|
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Yeah, it's that shit over and over again. | |
| Over and over again. | ||
| All that shit. | ||
| Nah, you guys are paranoid. | ||
| Yeah, it's a sexy idea, but Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. | ||
| They've already proven he could shoot that rifle. | ||
| There's that certain sort of delusional, conservative, sort of patriot-type radio guy voice that they do, where... | ||
| You're talking nonsense. | ||
| They've all filled out the dossier. | ||
| It's all completed. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Sorry, hippies. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Yeah, it's scary shit, man. | ||
| But this is like a mindset they want to lock into. | ||
| It's like an ideology. | ||
| Ultimately, we figure out how much evidence would it take to take the biggest debunker dude How much evidence will it take? | ||
| If Dick Cheney came out and admitted it, they would go, no, Dick Cheney. | ||
| He lost his mind with that new heart. | ||
| That new heart's a liar's heart. | ||
| Yes, exactly. | ||
| People would believe that shit. | ||
| Of course they would. | ||
| A lot of people would. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of people that want to believe that the government's their daddy. | ||
| The government's going to take care of them. | ||
| I think if everyone consciously tried to make all their friends aware of the truth, look into it. | ||
| People are constantly, they're looking into it. | ||
| I think that's happening. | ||
| Yeah, like Javi Vasquez. | ||
| I was with him last week. | ||
| We were in El Paso doing a Gracie Nationals tournament. | ||
| And he just recently started looking into conspiracy theories and it's like changed his, he kept going on and on and how it's changed his life. | ||
| Changed his way of thinking. | ||
| Yeah, you just actually got to look into it, you know? | ||
| Well, people conspire. | ||
| I mean, people don't believe that. | ||
| This is my question that I always say. | ||
| Do you believe in 9-11? | ||
| Do you believe 9-11 happened? | ||
| Well, if you do, that's a conspiracy, isn't it? | ||
| Isn't it a conspiracy? | ||
| Didn't these guys conspire to make that happen? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you believe that the Japanese attacked World War II? They attacked Pearl Harbor? | ||
| Well, then you believe in conspiracy theories. | ||
| Because the Japanese conspired to sneak attack with jets and bomb the fuck out of people. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| Like, they really planned that out. | ||
| You know, do you believe that Hitler burned the Reichstag to get people to think that the Nazis were under attack? | ||
| Do you believe that Nero burned Rome? | ||
| Do you believe in any of these crazy... | ||
| Well, then you believe in conspiracies, man. | ||
| They're documented throughout history. | ||
| People have been conspiring and bullshitting forever, man. | ||
| They've always done it. | ||
| They always will. | ||
| If they can get away with it, they'll pull it off. | ||
| Bunch of evil fucks work together. | ||
| They know each other real well. | ||
| They partied together. | ||
| They killed hookers together. | ||
| And they get together and go, you know, why are we fucking playing by the rules here? | ||
| Let's just rob these bitches. | ||
| Let's rob these bitches. | ||
| And they all just touch knuckles and they go after it. | ||
| And they pay money to get lobbyists to change laws to make it easier for them to fucking move money around. | ||
| And they just keep that party rolling. | ||
| And they leave so much evidence lying around. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| Well, in this day and age, I think it's starting to matter. | ||
| I think what's going on now with the internet is that young people are coming up with a realization of how the system works, a realization of just human life in general when I say the system. | ||
| A realization of countries and taking other countries' resources. | ||
| The people that are coming up, it's going to be way harder for the children of the people that live today to justify the way the world runs in the future because all this information will be out there. | ||
| Whereas when we were kids, when I was growing up in the 1970s, there was no information about any of this. | ||
| We never had any idea how the fucking world worked. | ||
| You had to go to a library if you wanted to get information, and you had to find the right book. | ||
| Who knows if that book is even right? | ||
| You could even fact check it. | ||
| It was difficult to find out what the fuck was going on. | ||
| But now pretty much anybody with a phone has instant access to almost any answer to any question they have, or at least to a reasonable extent. | ||
| That's going to change everything, man. | ||
| I think we're just seeing it right now. | ||
| We're the beginning of the wave. | ||
| I think the wave behind us is the wave that can't be ignored. | ||
| There's going to be a group of people that know everything. | ||
| They have all the information. | ||
| It's not like you're a regular person that lived in the 1970s, that went to school for a certain thing and then lived in a certain neighborhood. | ||
| No, you're going to be influenced by all the humans all over the planet all the time. | ||
| And that's what's going on right now with Twitter. | ||
| That's what's going on right now with this fucking podcast. | ||
| That's what's going on right now with Facebook. | ||
| That's what's going on right now with anybody that starts their own podcast and anybody that starts their own message board and anybody that starts their own thing where they're reaching out and communicating with people and other people lock into it. | ||
| Next thing you know, you got your own little online party going on, man. | ||
| You got your own little online party going on. | ||
| That's never existed. | ||
| No one has ever had that sort of an openness in the past before. | ||
| Open access to information in the past before. | ||
| We've never been able to just communicate with people like this. | ||
| So we're going to get to know each other more in the next hundred years than we have in the last million years. | ||
| We're going to get to know how we handle the real raw fucking truth of everything. | ||
| Because in a while, there's going to be no more secrets. | ||
| You're not going to be able to hide money. | ||
| You're not going to be able to hide where resources are coming from. | ||
| You're not going to be able to hide anything. | ||
| Everybody's going to know exactly what's going on all the time. | ||
| And that's when we're going to have to either get our shit together as a species or start using these fucking bombs we've been storing up. | ||
| It's one or the other. | ||
| When they see guys like Brian, they see this is part of the problem. | ||
|
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What are we talking about? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm talking about bad guys going after you to protect freedom. | ||
|
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Freedom. | |
| Are you worried about terrorist attacks? | ||
| You ever think about it? | ||
| Anything could happen, bro. | ||
| They already did it. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, anything could happen. | ||
| Did they do it, really? | ||
| Or did it go down as the head of Star Wars says? | ||
| And there's a fucking Dick Cheney... | ||
| Who knows exactly how it went down? | ||
|
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Add that to the checklist. | |
| I thought I'd shut it off, I swear to God, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| We've been doing so many shows in the other studio. | ||
|
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I'm more concerned about bad sushi than I am about terrorism. | |
| I had bad sushi and that ruined my fucking week. | ||
| But I think about that more than I think about like, oh no, this plane's gonna go down, you know, or... | ||
| I don't think people worry about that it's going to happen to them personally, the odds. | ||
| But another terrorist attack, for sure. | ||
| It's going to keep happening. | ||
| Brian, this is such a sheltered world. | ||
| I'm worried about bad sushi. | ||
| It's so silly. | ||
|
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And everybody gets food poisoning ever again. | |
| That ain't shit. | ||
|
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I'm scared. | |
| People in Iraq eat food poisoning for breakfast. | ||
|
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Okay? | |
| That's what they have for breakfast. | ||
| Every day is food poisoning. | ||
|
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Shocked. | |
| What are you going to do, man? | ||
| You're lucky. | ||
| You're lucky you live here in America. | ||
| You've got to roll the dice. | ||
| You're not living in fucking Tabool. | ||
| You're not living in Pakistan. | ||
| Liberia. | ||
| Launching missiles from the sky with drones. | ||
| See, Florida says they're going to have the most drones out of any state. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| That's a reality. | ||
| It's a weird world we're living in, man. | ||
| What are these drones going to do again? | ||
| What are they going to keep track of? | ||
| They're going to film things, photograph things. | ||
| They're going to be in the sky in case we ever need them. | ||
| Like, say if there's some sort of a high-speed pursuit, the drones will be able to follow you from the sky. | ||
| And for sure, drones are going to be above you. | ||
| If you plan on doing any speeding, you can go kiss that, shake it by. | ||
| There's no more speeding. | ||
| Because there's going to be drones that are going to monitor your speed. | ||
| And then they're going to alert the police to where you are. | ||
| And the police are going to cut you off. | ||
|
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I can't wait until people start hacking these drones. | |
| Because you know that shit's gonna happen. | ||
| Well, that's what happened in Iran. | ||
| They did hack it in Texas. | ||
| Yeah, they can hack them, man. | ||
| It's a real problem. | ||
| It's a radio frequency, man. | ||
| Some super genius dude who's smarter than you, who wouldn't be working for the government, is gonna figure out a way to fuck with that shit. | ||
|
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Yeah, those drones be acting a fool just a day after they release those things. | |
| Yeah, I wonder how crackable they are, but I've got to assume that anything that's using radio frequency, you've got to be able to crack that. | ||
| They're going to figure out what the frequency is. | ||
|
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One drone's going to fall on a child, and then it's going to be... | |
| Well, it already has in Pakistan. | ||
| If you're in Pakistan and you're walking with your kid, there's no guarantee that you're not going to get hit with a missile. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| They're fucking firing missiles from the sky. | ||
| And we're not even really officially over there. | ||
| Because we're not over there. | ||
| Our robots are over there. | ||
| Shooting fire from the sky. | ||
| What the fucking hell, man? | ||
| It's amazing where we are. | ||
| Yeah, Terminator is happening for them. | ||
| Yeah, when you were a kid, you remember watching Terminator? | ||
| You imagine watching the... | ||
| Which one was one where the things were flying in the air and they were shooting down? | ||
| Was that the first Terminator? | ||
| Terminator 2. Was it Judgment Day? | ||
| Is that what it was? | ||
| What's going on right now? | ||
| Blade Runner. | ||
| It's happening. | ||
| We're right in it. | ||
| There's drones. | ||
| There's fucking drones flying around. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| That was pretty fucking quick. | ||
| They disappeared. | ||
| Yeah, they said there were going to be 30,000 of them in the country within 10 years. | ||
| What? | ||
| It's 50 states! | ||
| We need anonymous on that fucking case, right? | ||
| That's going to be a mess. | ||
| Well, they got rid of those traffic cameras. | ||
| Have you noticed that? | ||
| Those traffic cameras that take pictures of you going through the yellow light or red light? | ||
| They got rid of them? | ||
| Yeah, they got rid of them. | ||
| Because I think they're unconstitutional. | ||
| I think there's something about them that's illegal. | ||
| I think it's because it's a private company that put them up, and the private company somehow or another was profiting off of these people getting photographed, going through red lights, and someone questioned it. | ||
| I'm doing a terrible job of butchering the argument, or the story, rather. | ||
| But I think that's what happened. | ||
| Damn, he probably yawning on me. | ||
| No, man. | ||
| This is a very disjointed podcast today. | ||
| We really didn't get it together, ever. | ||
| Forever more than ten minutes at a time. | ||
| Next time, we've got to stop at like two hits. | ||
| I think two hits is good. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| That's what it was. | ||
|
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There was two joints. | |
| We did smoke too much. | ||
| We went crazy deep. | ||
| I apologize. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that's why I wasn't even upset at Brian for logging into the wrong thing. | ||
|
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The beginning part? | |
| You were so stoned. | ||
| You didn't know what the fuck you were doing. | ||
|
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I didn't even know what was going on. | |
| You silly bitch. | ||
| You didn't know what the fuck was going on. | ||
| Yeah, there's a certain level where you really shouldn't be talking into a microphone in front of thousands of people when you get high. | ||
| That was that level. | ||
| Right now, we're perfect. | ||
|
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Right now, we can cook with gas. | |
| This fucking portal thing is so confusing to me. | ||
| All this space stuff is so confusing to me. | ||
| Because I keep wanting to be the skeptic. | ||
| I keep wanting to be the guy that's like, nothing's gonna happen. | ||
| Nothing's gonna happen. | ||
| Nothing's gonna happen. | ||
| Life's gonna be the same. | ||
| They'll discover a new planet. | ||
| You can't see it. | ||
| Who gives a fuck? | ||
| Nothing's gonna happen. | ||
| Okay, let's get video of that new planet and the creatures on it. | ||
| Let's have discovery channels about other planets. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, how fucking cool. | ||
| Well, we're so impatient when it comes to discoveries and things. | ||
| We want it all to happen all at once. | ||
| When we look back in time at what Galileo had figured out or Copernicus had figured out, I mean, it's all stuff that pretty much everybody knows now, but back then it was this mind-blowing revelations about the nature of the universe. | ||
| Now, if you look at what we know now, our little baby asses know now, and what they're going to know, if we could just keep it together for a hundred years. | ||
| Just keep it together for 100 years. | ||
| Yeah, there's going to be some crazy shit going on. | ||
| Think about 1912. How much cock did it suck in 1912? | ||
| It was terrible. | ||
| The cars were dog shit. | ||
| If they even existed, they were dog shit. | ||
| You're riding around on dirt roads. | ||
| Everybody stinks. | ||
| But they thought it was cool. | ||
| They had cars for the first time. | ||
| They're like, holy shit. | ||
| This is the... | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| The most amazing part of life here. | ||
| We're at the edge of technology. | ||
|
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That's what people are going to think back about us in 2,000 years. | |
| Like, oh, they didn't have hologram vaginas. | ||
| Well, I think it's going to be... | ||
| We're always looking for alien life. | ||
| And we're always saying, we can't search alien life. | ||
| I don't think we're ready yet. | ||
| And I think because we're not ready yet, because we're not really quite smart enough to tune in to whatever the fuck frequency they're on, wherever they are, because of that... | ||
| That's why there's no evidence, even though it makes sense. | ||
| I think we're going to come to a point at a certain time where if our technology expands and continues to expand, it's going to get to a point where there's no spot in the universe that we can't traverse. | ||
| I mean, ultimately, if people live for a million years, that's got to happen. | ||
| I mean, what we can do today is impossible. | ||
| What we can do in a thousand years from now is going to be equally impossible to us today. | ||
| You know, everything that's so normal, like Wi-Fi and cellular videos and texting people pictures of your butthole, you know, that... | ||
| Who does that? | ||
| I noticed I looked right at Brian when I did that. | ||
| Oh, you did that? | ||
| Think about a thousand years from now, you're going to have things that you can't even wrap your head around today. | ||
| It most likely will involve the manipulation of space and time. | ||
| We're going to probably, in a hundred years from now, have some ability to traverse long distances. | ||
| That seems possible. | ||
| If we can just get over a few technological humps, again, this is a hundred years from now. | ||
| I really think it's possible. | ||
| What do you know about the God particle they just kind of discovered or something? | ||
| It's very confusing. | ||
| They're 99.99% sure that they have recreated this particle based on its mass. | ||
| And they've discovered some incredible shit, man. | ||
| I mean, the whole idea behind it is really mind-blowing, but what's going on is they're tapping into the conditions and recreating the conditions that are like a millisecond after the Big Bang, and they're finding these parts of the universe that they had theorized about. | ||
| And one of them is this Higgs-Boson particle, this God particle. | ||
| It's fucking... | ||
| It's too hard for me to wrap my puny brain around it, but when I do, it's pretty staggering stuff if you stop and consider where we were in 1912 and where we are today and where we're going to be 2012 with this discovery of the Higgs-Boson, Boson, whatever the fuck... | ||
| How do you ever say it? | ||
| And whatever the fuck they're going to figure out within the next hundred years. | ||
| I mean, it's... | ||
| What does that mean to the average person? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That we discovered the God particle? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Nothing yet. | ||
| Nothing yet. | ||
| But it could mean everything. | ||
| Is the God particle dark matter? | ||
| Oh, no, no, no. | ||
| It's not dark matter. | ||
| Here, let's get a scientific explanation. | ||
| Let me pee really quick. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| We'll get a scientific explanation of it. | ||
| It's that C2O Coconut Water Sun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sun? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Note that we are in my place today. | ||
| The reason being is because Brian almost got cooked with electricity. | ||
| That's also why we don't have our Alienware laptops up. | ||
| But we are still supporting Alienware. | ||
| And, you know, Josh Barnett was very happy that we did that because they support fighters. | ||
| And that's why we chose to do it. | ||
| It's a big, giant-ass computer's If you're a gamer, they're the shit, man. | ||
| If you're a gamer... | ||
| If you're, like, a hardcore gamer, they're, like, the best computers you can get. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I've been doing the 3D one. | |
| The 3D games. | ||
| Portal. | ||
| I've been playing on 3D. It's pretty sweet. | ||
| Yeah, the laptop is insane. | ||
| We got these... | ||
| You motherfuckers! | ||
| We got an 18... | ||
|
unidentified
|
He got an 18-inch, which is insane. | |
| It's pretty much like an IMAX that you can fold up. | ||
| I got a 17-inch, and it's pretty cool, man. | ||
| The keyboards are all light up different colors. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's huge resolution, and it's really smooth for playing gaming. | |
| I'm pretty much using it just for gaming now. | ||
| Yeah, that's the only reason to use it. | ||
| I mean, they're monster computers. | ||
| If you're a hardcore gamer, and there's people like, you know, oh, Alienware is like super expensive, and they are. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not that bad. | |
| It's not cheap, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, I guess I'm used to math prices. | |
| Look, if you want a built-up computer, you know, it could be expensive, but that's just... | ||
|
unidentified
|
But not compared to Mac prices. | |
| Mac's still pretty expensive, I realize. | ||
| Because I went to Alienware. | ||
| But it's high-quality shit. | ||
| I mean, that's why. | ||
| If you build it together yourself, you could probably build it for cheaper. | ||
| But I'm not building anything myself, man. | ||
| I'm a grown man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not going to be cool like that. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| It doesn't have that... | ||
| Well, those laptops are special. | ||
| Those are fucking cool items to have around. | ||
| But... | ||
| But the reason why we're not supported, we're not sponsored by Alienware. | ||
| We're supporting MMA. We're actually sponsored by a company called Punch... | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is it? | |
| Punch Drunk? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sucker Punch. | |
| Sucker Punch Entertainment. | ||
| So that's where it's coming down from. | ||
| So they hooked us up with a deal on the Alienware computers. | ||
| And like I said, we try to support people that support MMA. And we try to support good companies, which is why I always talk about CTO, which is a fucking awesome coconut juice from Thailand. | ||
| And I got a new case that they just sent me that has pulp in it. | ||
| I haven't fucked with it yet. | ||
| I just got it today. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do me a favor. | |
| I'm going to do this live. | ||
| Do you have any CTO left in that one right there? | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want you to take a sip of that. | |
| I want you to take a sip of this. | ||
| I'm not drinking it after you drink. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Please, I'll wipe it off. | |
| I'll wipe it off. | ||
| Not good enough. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
| Hell no. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Just pour it into your mouth. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| Don't want to do it. | ||
| Not happening. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alright. | |
| You want to be a woman. | ||
| Too much. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no. | |
| This can feels weird to me. | ||
| Oh, you got a bad can you think? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think so. | |
| Oh, go get another one. | ||
| See if it tastes different. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I've never had a bad can from them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that something that happens? | |
| Maybe it's just you. | ||
| It's just your reaction. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's warm too. | |
| Do you like this better than that non-pasteurized? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, it's warm. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Because one of them was loose, which had been in my refrigerator for weeks, and the other one just got in the refrigerator right before the podcast started. | ||
| You just pull it out of that big package. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I just opened that case up in there. | |
| See, that case is not cold yet. | ||
| This stuff is way better cold. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Way better cold, right? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Big difference. | ||
| It tastes like a completely different thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Apparently they say that it's from Thailand. | ||
| The Thailand coconuts are the most delicious and sweet when it comes to their coconut water. | ||
| But if you can get fresh coconut juice, like if you're near Whole Foods, it's super expensive, but god damn is it good. | ||
| It's delicious. | ||
| Fresh coconut juice where it hasn't been pasteurized or homogenized, it's just right out of the coconut. | ||
| But it doesn't last very long. | ||
| But man, if you get it. | ||
| There's a company called Press Juicery that I use. | ||
| They're great, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a good shit. | |
| The press coconut juice is so delicious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's your brother. | |
| We're turning to you for conversation. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're going to Vegas this weekend. | |
| We never even broke down Silva vs. | ||
| Sonnen. | ||
| I talked a little bit about it. | ||
| Do you think Anderson Silva is going to be a completely different fighter this fight? | ||
| I just don't fucking know. | ||
| He could be. | ||
| It was much easier to take down than I expected in the first fight. | ||
| That is like a guy who was injured. | ||
| He didn't want to try to stop the takedown. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Maybe he's impossible to take down at this point. | ||
| That could happen. | ||
| I don't know about that. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| The whole thing's interesting. | ||
| When a guy fights injured, you just don't know. | ||
| And Anderson's not a guy who's ever said he... | ||
| He fought different than he ever fought before, and he's not the type of guy that makes excuses in the past. | ||
| Like, a lot of people don't know that he had double knee surgery just five weeks before he beat Travis Luter. | ||
| That's what his manager told me. | ||
| He told me. | ||
| I mean, that's a crazy thing, what he did. | ||
| He fought Travis Luter like... | ||
| Right when you're supposed to not even be back to training again. | ||
| Five weeks in. | ||
| So a guy who's willing to do that and not tell anybody, he did beat Travis Luter a lot easier and more convincingly than he beat Jell Sonnen though. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Who knows how much it really bothered him, but he won. | ||
| The bottom line is he figured out a way to win. | ||
| And that's why it gets interesting. | ||
| Because if he's healthy now, and he doesn't have any injuries, will he be able to stop the shot now? | ||
| Will it be an easier fight for him? | ||
| Or will it be the same fucking thing? | ||
| You can't stop that power dunk. | ||
| Maybe Sonnen takes him down. | ||
| Maybe it's hard, maybe it's easy, but he takes him down and his passing is getting better. | ||
| What if he passes and He might be trying to blow up Chael, but he says that he thinks that Chael has the ability to finish Anderson, and I believe it. | ||
| Any wrestler at that caliber has the ability to squeeze a neck. | ||
| They just got to focus on it just a little bit. | ||
| You focus on it. | ||
| If you just focused on arm triangles and rear naked chokes and a guillotine, just keep polishing that shit every day. | ||
| Just keep drilling it. | ||
| Slowly becoming dangerous with just those three. | ||
| And of course, you got to get really good at passing. | ||
| Passing the guard is just as important as taking a guy down. | ||
| You got to get really good at passing. | ||
| You can't pass the guard. | ||
| Man, all you have is ground and pound and dudes nullify that pretty easily now. | ||
| It seems like he's passing. | ||
| In the past few fights, his passing is looking good. | ||
| He got an arm trying. | ||
| Well, he controlled Bisping on the ground too, which is really hard to do. | ||
| Bisping is very good defensively off his back. | ||
| You know, Chael wasn't able to submit him, but he controlled him for quite a while on the ground. | ||
| But what he did with Brian Stan was really impressive. | ||
| He smushed that guy. | ||
| You look at that, that's like some serious pressure. | ||
| His arm triangle is super legit. | ||
| Brian Stan was defending the right way, too, but it was for no, it didn't matter. | ||
| He squeezes too hard. | ||
| When you get a good one of those things, when a guy really develops a good one, when they really get a feel for it, especially when they were a big wrestler like a Chael Sonnen guy who already has like a sick squeeze and a sick top game and a sick balance and just knows how to crush things down, they lock on to one technique like that, man. | ||
| They become so dangerous. | ||
| Even when you're defending, you still can get submitted. | ||
| It just crushes your fucking head. | ||
| You know, if that guy gets a hold of your head and arm, you're done, son. | ||
| You're done. | ||
| It's amazing how dudes like Cody McKenzie, they just lock onto one fucking technique and get so laser sharp at it. | ||
| They pull it off on everybody, even though dudes know they're trying to pull it off. | ||
| They got obsessed with it. | ||
| They put a lot of numbers in. | ||
| That could happen with any technique. | ||
| He just focused on that. | ||
| Cody McKenzie's fucking guillotine. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| I've never seen a guy, what does he have like 11 wins by guillotine now? | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| Incredible. | ||
| Always chokes with the same arm. | ||
| Same thing with Marcelo. | ||
| He always chokes with his right arm. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Yeah, I'm still sad that Marcelo never got back into MMA. He had one fight where he got cut, and he had a hard time using the gloves. | ||
| He had a hard time strangling a guy with those gloves on. | ||
| I guess it makes a big goddamn difference. | ||
| Yeah, and then the grease, too. | ||
| You gotta get used to that. | ||
| There's a big difference between gi and no gi, and then there's a big difference between rash guard and no rash guard. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| There's a big difference. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's true. | |
| It's not the same thing. | ||
| It's way more slippy. | ||
| That's a good point, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Do you think that, like, when you see guys in Abu Dhabi and things along those lines, do you think that they should be able to wear pants? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| Do you think they should be able to wear Aoki style? | ||
| Well, in Abu Dhabi, you can wear pants. | ||
| You can wear gi pants? | ||
| You can wear anything you want. | ||
| You can wear a gi if you want it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, you can wear anything in Abu Dhabi. | ||
| And can your opponent grab that gi? | ||
| You know what? | ||
| There's some tournaments out there that have ridiculous rules. | ||
| It's just the most ignorant shit out there. | ||
| It's amazing that it still exists. | ||
| Some tournaments, they allow you to wear gi pants in a no-gi tournament. | ||
| But your opponent can grab them and control them, but you can't grab and control shorts. | ||
| I say, yeah, let him control the pants, but why can't I grab his shorts if he's grabbing my pants? | ||
| Just because his pants are shorter, it makes zero sense. | ||
| If you're going to allow someone to grab pants, you should be able to grab shorts. | ||
| Or don't allow it at all. | ||
| Don't allow grabbing anything. | ||
| It just seems weird if you have pants on and you have a gi on, you're allowed to grab it. | ||
| But if you just both are wearing shorts, you're not allowed to grab it. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| It gets tricky. | ||
| Yeah, it's stupid shit like that. | ||
| Do you think that everybody should have to fight just skin on skin, just valetudo shorts and that's it? | ||
| No, I think you should be able to wear anything you want. | ||
| I like the way the Japanese ran it. | ||
| If you want to come in with an aikido gi, let them come in with an aikido gi. | ||
| What happens is that the boxing people that made all these rules, they didn't understand exactly what was going on with jiu-jitsu. | ||
| They thought, we're not going to give anybody an unfair advantage, so we're going to take away the gi because people, they saw Hoist choking out Ken Shamrock with this collar. | ||
| Or with a sleeve. | ||
| But really, in Japan, you can wear anything you want, and if the pants were that dangerous, all the Brazilians would be wearing pants. | ||
| How come no Brazilians are wearing pants except for hoists? | ||
| The pants aren't dangerous. | ||
| What they do is... | ||
| Try to even out the playing field because people are wearing fucking Vaseline. | ||
| People are Vaseline. | ||
| Fighters are always greasing themselves up. | ||
| Strikers, are you kidding? | ||
| They don't want to go out there and get strangled. | ||
| They're all putting on grease the night before. | ||
| You really think they're all greasing? | ||
| Not all. | ||
| A lot though. | ||
| Not all, but a lot. | ||
| How are they doing it? | ||
| What do you think is the most common way they do it? | ||
| This is what I've heard. | ||
| They'll take cocoa butter and sleep with it. | ||
| And then wash it off the next morning so your skin appears to be dry. | ||
| And then when you start sweating, it comes out of your pores. | ||
| That's, you know, if you're fighting a leg lock wizard, you're going to shave your fucking legs and grease up, you know? | ||
| And not only that, not only that, another thing that came from boxing that's, what's up with all the Vaseline all over people's faces? | ||
| You don't think that gets all over their bodies? | ||
| A lot of times people get accused of greasing. | ||
| Well, Anderson is in fights, wiped it off his face and under his chest. | ||
| Well, whether you do that or not, When you're fighting and you're grappling, dude's touching your face, touching your chin, then he's touching your arm. | ||
| These guys have Vaseline all over their body by the end of the fight. | ||
| So that's an unfair advantage to a striker. | ||
| It's harder to get submissions. | ||
| We should be pushing to get more submissions. | ||
| In professional football, they push for more offense. | ||
| They change rules and adjust shit for more offense. | ||
| Same thing in Right, so what you're saying is that if they wore, just allowed to wear rash guards, that would basically even up all the problems that we have with grease. | ||
| If you want to. | ||
| You don't have to if you want to. | ||
| Some people don't want to wear shit, because remember, in Japan you could wear anything you want, and what the jujitsu guys chose to wear is little tiny shorts. | ||
| Except hois. | ||
| Hois eventually went to pants. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| No pants top, but pants on the bottom. | ||
| But then he ended up fighting MMA with shorts. | ||
| No pants top. | ||
| When he fought Matt Hughes, that was once. | ||
| That was against... | ||
| Well, they didn't allow him to wear anything else. | ||
| Yeah, totally. | ||
| When he fought Matt Hughes. | ||
| The fact that karate pants or gi pants are not allowed, or tights, like the way Aoki wears tights, it's counterproductive for the sport. | ||
| It would be a good way to counteract the idea that everybody's greasy. | ||
| Yeah, it's just... | ||
| People are greasy. | ||
| And if they're not, they got Vaseline all over their face. | ||
| It's going to get all over their body. | ||
| And it makes it harder. | ||
| All that Vaseline all over your face makes it harder to pull off submissions. | ||
| Late in the fight, you mix that Vaseline with sweat and blood. | ||
| It would be like banning tights. | ||
| Would be like banning wide receivers wearing gloves in like rainy days or snowy days. | ||
| They let them wear gloves so they could catch the ball more offense. | ||
| More drop balls means shitty play. | ||
| People get bored. | ||
| They want more high scoring. | ||
| Right, but that's not a person. | ||
| A ball's not a person. | ||
| The problem is the idea is that someone should be able to have the best defense possible with two men with bare skin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| If all of a sudden one guy's wearing some sticky clothes and a lot of you get a hold of. | ||
| But it's okay. | ||
| The amateurs in California, they let them wear rash guards. | ||
| It's no problem. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| In the amateurs, you wear rash guards. | ||
| It's no problem. | ||
| I predict it would change the game. | ||
| Female MMA fighters wear rash guards. | ||
| How is that okay? | ||
| It's unfortunate. | ||
| Yeah, totally. | ||
| But how is that okay? | ||
| They have an unfair advantage. | ||
| You should be allowed to wear rash guards. | ||
| I mean, it works in female MMA. We should allow it in the pros, too. | ||
| What's the big deal? | ||
| It's just a rash guard. | ||
| It'd be nice. | ||
| People would come in with like tights and they look like a little superhero characters. | ||
| It'd be cool like Aoki was just as famous for the different crazy pants he wore as he was for his fighting. | ||
| I'm down for tights The only problem that I would have with the gi is that you can use the gi as a weapon. | ||
| You could Ezekiel choke the fuck out of somebody and that doesn't feel right. | ||
| Yes, but again, in Pride, they allowed that, but there's way more cons to pros to wearing gis. | ||
| As far as the gis experts, the gis experts said, you know what, yeah, I could choke you out with my sleeve, but dude can choke me out with my own collar, so it's not even worth it. | ||
| Do you remember when Yoshida fought Hoist? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yoshida fought Hoist, and he said he was out, and he wasn't out. | ||
| He lied, totally made up the fact that he was out. | ||
| He's not even barely choking him. | ||
| Hoist's foot was up and shit. | ||
| There was no way he could have been out. | ||
| He was holding his foot up. | ||
| He's out, he's out. | ||
| And then Reverie stops, and Hoist's like, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| I ain't out! | ||
| They totally bamboozled him. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of tomfoolery going on in Japan. | ||
| And that was with Agui. | ||
| You know, he was wrapping him up in a gi, supposedly. | ||
| But again, if it was an advantage to wear a gi, all the Brazilians coming over and fighting in pride, they'd all be wearing gis and gi pants. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's not an advantage. | ||
| It's amazing that Hoist chose to fight like that, though. | ||
| But then when you watch, like, Hickson's fights with Zulu. | ||
| He never wore a gi. | ||
| He wore little tight shorts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| In the long run, the gi is a disadvantage. | ||
| That's what the Brazilians are saying. | ||
| By not wearing it, they're making that statement. | ||
| Yeah, that's kind of crazy when you stop and think about it. | ||
| There's this ancient outfit that people wear, you know, they've been wearing for how long? | ||
| A thousand years? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| How many years have martial artists been wearing a gi, you know? | ||
| Or in Taekwondo, they call it a dobok, you know? | ||
| And I don't know, what is it called? | ||
| Kimono? | ||
| Is that what the Portuguese like to call it? | ||
| The Brazilians? | ||
| I think that's a Japanese word. | ||
| Yes, but they use the word kimono as well, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Japanese, definitely call it kimono. | ||
| But that's what the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu guys refer to it, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, we didn't accept kimono. | ||
| We took gi. | ||
| Isn't that weird? | ||
| When it got over here, it became a gi. | ||
| It went from being kimono to the Brazilian. | ||
| Japanese kimono, Brazilian kimono, gi. | ||
| And the Brazilians didn't call it gi? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think Americans don't. | ||
| Americans very rarely call it kimonos. | ||
| And when they do, you know they're a serious jujitsu dork. | ||
| You know, if somebody asks you, what brand kimono do you wear? | ||
| Oh, you serious jujitsu dork. | ||
| Some dudes just get so caught up in jujitsu, man. | ||
| It's just like, it's so much fun. | ||
| When you first start tapping guys, it becomes so much fun that some guys just completely lose their shit and just dive into it. | ||
| Yeah, I was a jujitsu fucking fan. | ||
| Freak. | ||
| I was thinking about getting, one of those Americans, they're so into it. | ||
| I love Brazil, went to Brazil in 2000, again in 2003. I fucking love anything Brazilian. | ||
| Anytime a Brazilian was fighting an MMA, he could be fighting a Mexican. | ||
| I don't give a shit. | ||
| I'm going for the Brazilian. | ||
| I'm, oh, I was so hardcore. | ||
| I would've got a tattoo of a Brazilian flag on my back with that Odemi progresso thing on it. | ||
| I would have considered that shit. | ||
| That is a dope. | ||
| That was hardcore. | ||
| Dope logo. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| Odeme e Progresso. | ||
| My guess is Oath, Promise to Progress. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| Fun country, man. | ||
| They're the only country that shuts down for a month to party. | ||
| Yeah, it's beautiful, man. | ||
| People down there are really fun. | ||
| I really enjoy doing the UFCs down there. | ||
| The audiences are like nothing you've ever seen in your life. | ||
| In between fights, they were doing the wave and screaming and cheering. | ||
| I mean, the level of passion that the Brazilian fans have... | ||
| No one's close. | ||
| No one is close. | ||
| Not Americans. | ||
| We've been everywhere. | ||
| We've been fucking everywhere. | ||
| No one's close. | ||
| No one's close. | ||
| Brazilians smash everybody with loyalty, celebration. | ||
| Singing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Even in jujitsu tournaments. | ||
| I went to Brazil in 2000 for the Worlds. | ||
| And it wasn't at like a giant place. | ||
| It was kind of like at an old beat-up kind of arena. | ||
| Like a mini beat-up arena. | ||
| It wasn't that great. | ||
| And those motherfuckers had drums and shit. | ||
| They had all these chants. | ||
| It was like a high school gym, and they were going nuts. | ||
| They would have crushed cheerleaders. | ||
| They would have fucked them up. | ||
| Do you remember when we were in Abu Dhabi, and they started singing in the middle, like Jacare was fighting, and someone started... | ||
| They got songs, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're singing and pounding on the tables or the chairs like drums. | ||
| I mean, it's amazing, man. | ||
| They got into it to the point where it was like... | ||
| It was like you were privileged to be there. | ||
| You didn't know that there was a place like this. | ||
| You didn't know that this was something that was going on out there in the world. | ||
| You're watching these badass jiu-jitsu guys fight, and then these Brazilian guys are singing and dancing in the fucking crowds. | ||
| And do you think it's a coincidence that Brazil, maybe the only country or the only country part of the UN, I don't know exactly, but Brazil is super rare in that they go against UN drug policies and make ayahuasca legal. | ||
| It's legal there. | ||
| I mean, I hear that in Brazil, and I could be wrong, but I saw this in the documentary, it could be bullshit, but a lot of people give... | ||
| There's an ayahuasca Christian religion that's kind of like a mesh of both, and they give ayahuasca to babies. | ||
| They give ayahuasca when you're 14 to prevent alcoholism. | ||
| Somehow, if you have ayahuasca in your system before alcohol... | ||
| Or maybe even after, in some way, it does something to your brain. | ||
| Or somehow, spiritually, I don't know. | ||
| But it keeps you from being an alcoholic. | ||
| A waste case. | ||
| And Brazil's like, fuck it. | ||
| Ayahuasca is legal, bitch. | ||
| And who parties harder than Brazil? | ||
| Who celebrates more than Brazil? | ||
| Those guys are fucking insane. | ||
| I'm sure it has to have some impact. | ||
| But marijuana's illegal there. | ||
| It's really illegal. | ||
| It's not good at all. | ||
| Gotta be... | ||
| But it is illegal, but a lot of Brazilian jiu-jitsu players, they smoke weed. | ||
| It's very popular in jiu-jitsu. | ||
| But it's like you've got to have to deal with some people that are selling illegal drugs. | ||
| And the weed is shit down there too. | ||
| I think South America just... | ||
| All together as shit weed. | ||
| It's unfortunate. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| And it's hopefully one day. | ||
| I mean, can you imagine if Brazil had medical marijuana? | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| If Brazil had legalized weed on top of the way they rock it right now, on top of the greatest crowds of all time, on top of the most insane beaches, you look out and see islands and shit, dudes are selling coconuts. | ||
| If they had weed for free too, I mean legal weed, it would be the most ridiculous country of all time. | ||
| It's weird how cultures just grow up. | ||
| A lot of it is depending on how bad where you live sucks. | ||
| You couldn't have a lifestyle like Brazil if you lived in Iceland. | ||
| Like, bitch, you've got to go out and kill a whale. | ||
| We're going to freeze to death. | ||
| We need some food. | ||
| We need to batten down the hatches. | ||
| We need to... | ||
| Not in Brazil. | ||
| You don't have to batten down the hatches. | ||
| It's awesome out. | ||
| Even in the winter, it's awesome. | ||
| So what do they do? | ||
| They fucking party. | ||
| It's totally cool. | ||
| It's totally Brazilian and totally cool not to be on a strict schedule. | ||
| They love to say, hey, when you're in Brazil, Higg and Machado told me this when I went to Brazil the first time. | ||
| We kept telling him, we got to do this, we're going to do that. | ||
| He goes, relax. | ||
| In Brazil, there is no time. | ||
| There's no time in Brazil. | ||
| I'm like, whoa, these guys do whatever the fuck they want to do whenever they want to do it. | ||
| It's all about having fun. | ||
| There's a dude that I met down there that was, I think he's a Machado black belt. | ||
| I forget his name. | ||
| I apologize. | ||
| But he was telling me that he moved back there in the late 90s. | ||
| He moved in Brazil and just started living there. | ||
| And he just loved it. | ||
| And he said the one thing that you've got to get used to, though, is when you need something fixed, good luck. | ||
| You need a dude to show up at your house at a certain time. | ||
| Well, he might show up, you know. | ||
| But, you know, shit happens. | ||
| I remember in the early 90s when jiu-jitsu blew up because of Hoist Gracie, because of the UFC, a lot of Brazilians started fucking making the move and opening up shop and taking territories. | ||
| Enzo went to New York. | ||
| Half went to San Francisco. | ||
| Machados went to Southern California. | ||
| Corian, Southern California. | ||
| Everyone was just like, it was like the gold rush for Brazilian jiu-jitsu. | ||
| Yeah, everybody came here, right? | ||
| I mean, think about how many high-level jiu-jitsu schools are in California. | ||
| Hell yeah, they're all coming to California. | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| They're all coming, and Miami, you know? | ||
| Yeah, they want that nice weather. | ||
| They want the nice weather, they want the surfing. | ||
| But they still go to Toronto. | ||
| Brazilians are loxters, man. | ||
| They'll fucking relocate to Toronto. | ||
| Well, yeah, there's some spots that are wide open, but, you know, you really want to open shop in Wisconsin or something, you know? | ||
| Maine, right. | ||
| They hang for a while. | ||
| Even Salo and Shandy, they went to Ohio for a while. | ||
| But there's only so much a Brazilian could do in Ohio. | ||
| So they said, fuck it. | ||
| They came to San Diego. | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| Napal, Gabriel Gonzaga. | ||
| He's in Western Massachusetts, man. | ||
| It's cold as fuck out there. | ||
| Western Massachusetts is a big difference. | ||
| Because Marcelo went to New York, and then he went to Florida, and he said, fuck it. | ||
| He don't like The weather in Florida. | ||
| He went back. | ||
| He loves New York, man. | ||
| Well, New York is... | ||
| If you're a thinking person, and Marcel is a thinking person, New York is much more stimulating. | ||
| More stimulating people. | ||
| Florida is nice and everything like that, but goddamn, the mean intelligence level in Florida... | ||
| Henzo owns fucking New York, though. | ||
| Henzo fucking owns New York, dude. | ||
| He is the godfather. | ||
| He's like John Gotti of jiu-jitsu there, man. | ||
| He owns that shit. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| He's got... | ||
| A ridiculous number of students. | ||
| And he's making some serious bank, man. | ||
| And he's one of the nicest guys on the planet. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| He's on Twitter all the time, just spreading positivity. | ||
| Is Marcelo on Twitter? | ||
| Yeah, he's on Twitter. | ||
| Not as much as Henzo. | ||
| Henzo's on Twitter. | ||
| I'm like, isn't it like 5 in the morning in New York right now and he's still just Twittering? | ||
| All just positive shit. | ||
| Henzo is just positive, positive, positive. | ||
| Where are they? | ||
| How far away are they from each other? | ||
| Henzo School and Marcelo School? | ||
| They're really close. | ||
| They're both in Manhattan. | ||
| Really close. | ||
| But Marcelo also has a very successful school, too. | ||
| But Henzo, I think... | ||
| Henzo. | ||
| He's been around forever, Henzo. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Marcelo's much more recent. | ||
| But Marcelo has that Josh Waitzkin dude, that chess wizard that was... | ||
| Yep, yep. | ||
| I met him last time I was in New York. | ||
| Really cool guy, yeah. | ||
| I exchanged some emails with him. | ||
| All Marcelo's guys are fucking so cool. | ||
| He's the guy that they based the movie Searching for Bobby Fischer. | ||
| Yep, yep. | ||
| And he was a chess genius, spent all his life doing that, and then he got into martial arts and initially got into kung fu. | ||
| And then I think he was doing push hands, like those push hands competitions. | ||
| And then he got into jiu-jitsu and fell in love with it and started breaking moves down sort of the same way in a disciplined approach, the way he learned to play chess, you know, because they learned to, like, think of moves and chains and regressions. | ||
| And so he broke it down as a discipline, you know, and made that MG in Action website. | ||
| And he's got all the different techniques... | ||
| And you have that same shit going on too at 10thplanetjujitsu.com, right? | ||
| You can go there and you have it set up where you have all the different moves and techniques. | ||
| And someone doesn't even have to train here. | ||
| They can learn your shit online and then bring it to a local jiu-jitsu gym and practice it. | ||
| I release episodes of the show called Mastering the System. | ||
| I release one every few weeks. | ||
| And it has every technique that I teach at my school. | ||
| I put it up online for $4.99. | ||
| So... | ||
| Yeah, it's an amazing resource for someone who lives somewhere, like say if you're stuck somewhere and they don't have any high-level jiu-jitsu, you can get together with your friends and you can start a club. | ||
| You could get a certain amount of people and maybe they have mats at the YMCA. When I was a kid, the YMCA had mats. | ||
| You could set some mats up and you could start a club. | ||
| There's so many guys out there, so many run-ins. | ||
| They're getting two or three of their friends, putting mats in their garage, and studying Marcelo. | ||
| You can study the Mendez brothers, study Edgar Vau. | ||
| You can get mastering the system, put it all together, and have some fucking fun. | ||
| And then they'll take trips sometimes. | ||
| A lot of these guys will come in, and they'll train in Manhattan for a week. | ||
| That's what George St. Pierre did when he was young. | ||
| Went to Henzo's and trained there, or they'll go to We're in Burbank now, folks. | ||
| If you were looking for... | ||
| Legends went under due to unforeseeable circumstances. | ||
| So if you want to learn some 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu, you have to go to our 10th Planet Burbank location. | ||
|
unidentified
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Burbank? | |
| Which is on Burbank Boulevard. | ||
| What is the exact address? | ||
| 4130 West Burbank Boulevard. | ||
| And it's the Blue Dragon Martial Arts Academy. | ||
| If you see the Blue Dragon Martial Arts Academy, there will also be a big 10th planet logo right there. | ||
| But if you're driving on the street, there's a white sign that sticks out. | ||
| So if you find that... | ||
| That's what you can learn from Hege Bravo. | ||
| Learn to get it choking. | ||
| We're going to have a good time this weekend, man. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's going to be fun. | |
| Some crazy ass fights. | ||
| It's going to be wild. | ||
| Fuck yeah, man. | ||
| Party time. | ||
| All right, you dirty bitches. | ||
| This has been a long and disjointed podcast and we apologize for it. | ||
| Brian, you really got to get your shit together because you can't do any of the things that you said. | ||
| Can I make a request? | ||
| Can I make a request, Joe? | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| I just dropped a new song and I want to play it for you. | ||
| Right now? | ||
| Is it too late? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, we have like four minutes till it ends. | |
| Yeah, we only have three hours on a recording. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| You can play it afterwards. | ||
| We'll stop and come back and play it afterwards. | ||
| Okay, we do that. | ||
| So we'll stop and come back and it will be a supplemental to the podcast, ladies and gentlemen, the Eddie Bravo song. | ||
| Alright, you freaks. | ||
| Next week, we got a lot of shit going on. | ||
| We got Tommy Chong coming up. | ||
| We got Kevin Pereira, Adam Kokesh from Adam vs. | ||
| The Man, and Honey Honey. | ||
| And we don't know if we might have to move some people around. | ||
| That's a lot. | ||
| Might have to do Honey Honey a little earlier in the day. | ||
| And then next week we got Aubrey who's returning from Peru on another psychedelic adventure. | ||
| Then we got Bobo from Finding Bigfoot. | ||
| I am very excited about that one. | ||
|
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When's that Cat Vyond? | |
| Oh, she's emailing me. | ||
| We're going back and forth. | ||
| We're going to figure it out. | ||
| Your girl Cat Von D responded to me on Twitter today. | ||
| Oh, cool, cool. | ||
| And I gushed like a little child. | ||
| This weekend, if you're going to see the UFC, I'm going to be also doing a show, Doug Loves Movie Taping at Powell Station on Sunday. | ||
| And Doug Loves Movies, for those who don't know, is the podcast of the, I Heard Grumpy, Doug Benson. | ||
|
unidentified
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Doug Benson. | |
| Also, I got an after party Saturday night at the Cat House at the Luxor. | ||
| It's the 10th Planet after party. | ||
| After the UFC, Cat House, Luxor, everybody's invited. | ||
| What is the Cat House? | ||
| It's a small lounge. | ||
| I wanted a place where we could get everybody in. | ||
| If we would have had Hayes or something like XS, like those clubs, you can only get 10 guys in. | ||
| It gets crazy. | ||
| I put together a party where I made sure that all my 10th Planet people, because there's going to be a bunch of them there this weekend, they could all get into one spot without any trouble. | ||
| They got a bar there. | ||
| They got music. | ||
| It's just for 10th Planet family. | ||
| Anybody that's down, you don't have to go to a 10th Planet school, but... | ||
| It's after the UFC Saturday, Cat House at the Luxor. | ||
| Look for me. | ||
| Boom, bitches. | ||
| That's about it. | ||
| Oh, if you're a Fear Factor fan, the Fear Factor episode where we... | ||
| Well, I shouldn't tell you what actually happens. | ||
| But there's one two-hour episode that we filmed, besides the donkey semen one that wound up tanking the show. | ||
| There's one other episode that we filmed that's going to air over the next two Mondays. | ||
| So I don't think they're advertising it. | ||
| They're just sticking it in a hole. | ||
| And it's called Burning It Off. | ||
| So if you're interested and you want to check it out, you'll probably never see it again. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's cool. | |
| Did you forget about that episode? | ||
| No, no, I remembered. | ||
| You know... | ||
| I'm so happy that this thing turned out the way it did. | ||
| You know, it's very rare when someone, their show gets canceled and they're really happy it got canceled. | ||
| I fucked up, man. | ||
| I would have been locked. | ||
| Shut the fuck up, this. | ||
| I'm trying to make a goddamn confession. | ||
| Listen, folks, this fucking podcast is over. | ||
| We'll be back. | ||
| We'll be back next week with tons of fun. | ||
|
unidentified
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And we'll be in San Diego for Comic-Con. | |
| Yes. | ||
| We'll be in San Diego next Friday. | ||
|
unidentified
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Go to deskquad.tv. | |
| The 13th. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| Yeah, and it's at where? | ||
| What is the name of the place? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's on the American Comedy Co. | |
| You can go to AmericanComedyCo.com or DeathSquad.tv and click on the banner at the top. | ||
| Alright, you freaks. | ||
| We will see you soon. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| God damn it! | ||
| I'm on a podcast. | ||
| I'll call you back. | ||
| Thanks to The Fleshlight for sponsoring our podcast. | ||
| Go to JoeRogan.net. | ||
| Click on the link for The Fleshlight. | ||
| Enter in the code name Rogen and save yourself 15% off the number one sex toy for men. | ||
| Thanks also to Onnit.com. | ||
| That's O-N-N-I-T. Go check the alpha brain, son. | ||
| Go get yourself some. | ||
| New formula has some awesome new ingredients that are even better. | ||
| Go check. | ||
| Check it out. | ||
| All the information is available on Onnit.com and the kettlebells are in. | ||
| The most reasonably priced kettlebells you're going to find online including the most reasonably priced battle ropes. | ||
| The battle ropes are the highest quality available as are the kettlebells. | ||
| Those fucking kettlebells will be there when the earth is not. | ||
| They are solid fucking iron and they will find them. | ||
| Scientists will find them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
In your fucking house I'm doing a podcast! | |
| Jesus Christ, I can't tell these people enough, and yet they still call back. | ||
| I gotta go, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| There's a lot of shit going down over here. | ||
| Thanks to Anna.com. | ||
| Use the code name ROGAN and save yourself 10% off all our awesome brain supplements. | ||
| And we will see you guys soon, next week. | ||
| Are we doing an Ice House show next Wednesday? | ||
|
unidentified
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Next Wednesday, Ice House. | |
| Powerful Ice House. | ||
| So that's it for now, and we'll see you guys soon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Amen. |
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