July 9, 2012 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:50:22
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
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Meow. | |
| Oh, shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Meow. | |
| Hello, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast. | ||
| Oh, just to tell you how we do this. | ||
| We do these two little commercials before we actually do the podcast, but they're very informal, and you can jump in at any time. | ||
| So if you've got something to say, don't hold your time. | ||
| I don't hear them. | ||
|
unidentified
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Do you hear me yet? | |
| No. | ||
| No, I don't hear him on a microphone, do you? | ||
| Can you hear me now? | ||
| Yes, there we go. | ||
| Ladies and gentlemen, that is the voice of the great Tommy Chong. | ||
| The Joe Rogan Experience podcast is brought to you by The Fleshlight. | ||
| If you go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link for The Fleshlight, enter the code name ROGAN, you will save yourself 15% off. | ||
| One of the most ridiculous things you could ever bring up in a conversation. | ||
| But, an excellent sex tool. | ||
| An excellent masturbation device and the number one sex toy for men. | ||
| We're also brought to you by Onnit.com. | ||
| That's O-N-N-I-T. Makers of such delicious supplements as Alpha Brain, New Mood, Shroom Tech Sport, and Shroom Tech Immune. | ||
| Alpha Brain being my favorite and the most controversial. | ||
| What it is is a nootropic. | ||
| If you're interested in any of these things, I suggest you Google it first. | ||
| First and foremost, find out what they are. | ||
| They're essentially vitamins that enhance your brain's ability to function, enhances your brain's ability to produce neurotransmitters. | ||
| And it makes your brain operate more smoothly. | ||
| There have been a bunch of different tests on various nootropics. | ||
| We are working on doing a clinical trial, I guess they call it a double-blind placebo clinical trial with AlphaBrain. | ||
| As soon as we're set on our formula, and we should be doing that shortly. | ||
| And what it does is, what any of these things do, is they just enhance your body's health and function. | ||
| And we know that all these various nutrients have been very effective on helping people. | ||
| People with Alzheimer's, for instance, have taken some of these nutrients and shown improvement on them. | ||
| It just stands to reason that they're vitamins and nutrients that aid your body's function, and if you take them, it'll work better. | ||
| And that's what these are all about. | ||
| If you're interested at all, please go to Onnit.com and check it out. | ||
| We also just recently got in the kettlebells. | ||
| And I've talked about this in the podcast before. | ||
| If there's the one workout that I could do for the rest of my life, it would be kettlebells. | ||
| Because I think it's an awesome workout that translates directly into your life, into your ability to move shit, your ability to use your body. | ||
| It's a health exercise. | ||
| You know, because like a lot of bodybuilding type shit, like when you start doing bench presses and curls and stuff, I mean, it can make you look great and get big ass arms. | ||
| But the reality is your body doesn't really work like that. | ||
| You're not supposed to like isolate things. | ||
| I mean, you can if you want them to get bigger, but the best thing to do for athletic performance is to use your body as a whole. | ||
| That's why when you ever see like MMA fighters training on television, very rarely will you see them do isolation exercises. | ||
| Usually it's throwing sandbags or hitting Sledgehammers into car tires or, you know, it's climbing ropes, it's throwing ropes around, doing battle ropes, doing kettlebells, doing like Olympic clean and jerks. | ||
| It's all about using your whole body. | ||
| If you see like an Olympic clean press, like that guy's using everything, man. | ||
| He's using his legs, his arms, his back, his straps. | ||
| I mean, it's an incredible full-body movement. | ||
| And full-body movements are the ones that really get your body stronger for, like, functional things. | ||
| Like, for me, it's jujitsu. | ||
| For some people, it's, you know, anything that you like doing where physical strength comes into play, kettlebells will enhance that. | ||
| It just makes your body stronger. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| And you can get a good workout in 20 minutes. | ||
| We have some instructionals that are available at Onnit.com, but there's a million different videos on the internet. | ||
| All of Steve Maxwell's stuff is outstanding. | ||
| He is probably one of the best guys in the world when it comes to kettlebell training. | ||
| And he has a bunch of DVDs that are for sale, and he's a great guy, too. | ||
| So if you bought those DVDs and helped him out, it would be awesome, because he is the best in the business. | ||
| And there's videos online. | ||
| You can watch YouTube videos. | ||
| He's got demonstrations online you can do. | ||
| There's plenty of workouts that you can formulate together. | ||
| And you really don't need to go to a gym. | ||
| We also sell these battle ropes. | ||
| And those are those crazy things that you see Brock Lesnar flopping around. | ||
| And some of those workout things where he's preparing for fights. | ||
| And an incredibly hard workout. | ||
| Where he used to prepare for fights. | ||
| Yeah, used to. | ||
| I wonder if he trains like that now. | ||
| Oh yeah, I'm sure he does. | ||
| You think? | ||
| Yeah, I don't think he's stopping. | ||
| I don't think he's done. | ||
| I think he'll be back. | ||
| Not like basketball players. | ||
| I think he needed to heal up. | ||
| He needed to heal up. | ||
| I have a feeling he'll be back. | ||
| Yeah, he's too fucking good, too big, too much potential. | ||
| He could still do it, but you know what, man? | ||
| He could still get over that. | ||
| Getting kicked like that, that would quit me for two lifetimes. | ||
| Well, everybody's got a different path in this life. | ||
| I guess. | ||
| Anyway, go check all that shit at Onnit.com. | ||
| For the supplements only, use the code name ROGAN and you will save yourself 10% off. | ||
| The battle ropes and the kettlebells, seriously, are about as cheap as you can sell them. | ||
| It's very difficult to make and ship and hire people to move these fucking things around. | ||
| They're essentially sending cannonballs through the mail. | ||
| But for the supplements, you can use the code name ROGAN and you save yourself 10% off. | ||
| Also, in the supplements, any first bottle of 30 pills, there's a 100% money back guarantee. | ||
| You don't even need to return the product. | ||
| You just say, this stuff sucks. | ||
| This stuff didn't work for me. | ||
| I didn't feel it. | ||
| That's all you need to say. | ||
| You get your money back. | ||
| We're way more concerned with not having people feel ripped off than we are with making money. | ||
| And on top of that, like I said, I use them. | ||
| I benefit from them. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Lorenzo Fatida loves fucking Alpha Brain. | ||
| This stuff is spectacular. | ||
| I really enjoy it. | ||
| And we're so confident that you're going to enjoy it too that we offer 100% money back guarantee. | ||
| Alright, go to onnit.com. | ||
| O-N-N-I-T. That's it. | ||
| The great Tommy Chong is here, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, thanks to Alienware for sponsoring MMA fighters too. | ||
| The Joe Rogan experience. | ||
|
unidentified
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Train by day. | |
| Joe Rogan podcast by night. | ||
| All day. | ||
| We just started using these laptops, Tommy Chong, with this alien logo. | ||
| I'm like a child. | ||
| I like little alien heads. | ||
| Do you like little stuff? | ||
| Yeah, I don't know if that's like a stoner thing. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| I should be over like little alien heads. | ||
| Nah, it's an overgrown kid thing. | ||
| Thank you very much for coming on this show, man. | ||
| To me, this is huge. | ||
| When I was a kid, my parents introduced me to Cheech and Chong movies and Cheech and Chong albums when I was a little kid, man. | ||
| My parents were hippies, especially my stepdad. | ||
| My stepdad was a huge hippie. | ||
| And he loved your shit, man. | ||
| And so for me to... | ||
| Is he still around? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yes. | |
| Yeah, he is. | ||
| How's he doing? | ||
| He's doing great. | ||
| Does he ever come to the fights in that? | ||
| No, he's never. | ||
| I think they've come to one. | ||
| He's not really into that. | ||
| No, he's a real hippie. | ||
| Peaceful guy. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| I think he always felt it was really weird that I was obsessed with martial arts when I was a kid. | ||
| I don't think he really liked it that much. | ||
| But he loved you, man. | ||
| Everyone's different. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Everyone's different. | ||
| Yeah, maybe that's why I pushed the other way. | ||
| You know who really gets pissed off at the kettlebells? | ||
| The delivery man. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It's fucking hard. | ||
| The people at the UPS store, they look at me when I get them in the mail like, what? | ||
| Fucking really? | ||
|
unidentified
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I didn't sign up to work out. | |
| There's little girls that work there, and I'm so sorry. | ||
| And, you know, these things are 70 fucking pounds. | ||
|
unidentified
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They go from, what, 20 to 80 or... | |
| Oh, they give you a heavier. | ||
| There's dudes out there that use 120-pounders. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen them. | ||
| I trained at a place where they use kettlebells. | ||
| There's this dude, his name is Mike Mahler, and he's all vegan, too, which is kind of cool that he's able to put on this much mass and be all vegan. | ||
| It's all muscle, though. | ||
| Oh, he's an animal. | ||
| And he's got some of the best DVDs when it comes to really heavy weight exercises. | ||
| He throws around some heavy fucking kettlebells. | ||
| You see him doing these crazy exercises with like 125s. | ||
| That's really hard to do, these things. | ||
| If you've never seen it before, folks, it's almost like you're kind of doing gymnastics, almost. | ||
| It's like you're doing different exercises. | ||
| A kettlebell is a ball, like a cannonball, with a handle. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| It probably was. | ||
| That's probably where they got it. | ||
| I'm sure, yeah. | ||
| Probably a handle. | ||
| And they used them right at the turn of the century. | ||
| Sandow, the strongest man in the world, he always posed with his kettlebells. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's funny how the whole bodybuilding thing went full circle. | ||
| It started out... | ||
| Back in the Greek days, they used animals to work out with. | ||
| They'd pick up a calf until it became a cow. | ||
|
unidentified
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Really? | |
| Yeah, that's how they trained. | ||
| How do you think anybody figured out that working hard, who was the first guy that figured out working hard makes you bigger? | ||
| Well, it goes back to the cavemen. | ||
| They figured that out? | ||
| You think, like, cavemen did, like, push-ups and shit? | ||
| Oh, no, no, no. | ||
| They did. | ||
| Push-ups meant, you know, like, pushing an animal away from them or running their ass off. | ||
| No, it's fight or flight. | ||
| You know, the humans were, we were prey when we were first on this earth. | ||
| We've always been prey, so it's always been either we fight or we run. | ||
| Until we figured out cities, and goddamn did we get ahead of the game. | ||
| The city? | ||
| The city. | ||
| As soon as we figured out cities. | ||
| Yeah, well, you know, as soon as we figured out agriculture. | ||
| It was agriculture first. | ||
| Before that it was like tribes of people going around, you know, seeing who had what. | ||
| What's really crazy is that's kind of in dispute now. | ||
| There's a bunch of different scientists now that are pointing to all these different sites that they've located where they're saying like it's real possible that like people were hunter and gatherers like way longer ago than we think. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| And that there were cities and civilizations. | ||
| In between. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In between before. | ||
| Like many. | ||
| 10, 15,000 years ago. | ||
| And it probably went back. | ||
| It probably went back to it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| They found recently some new spot that's underwater that's 8,500 years old. | ||
| Like Atlantis? | ||
| Well, it's just a village. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| It's a village that was underwater. | ||
| And they say that the Earth's... | ||
| Sea levels have changed so much that there's probably a bunch of shit, like cities everywhere that's just underwater. | ||
| We have a weird view of the past. | ||
| It's so piecemeal. | ||
| It's almost like there's too much stuff to know. | ||
| Most people don't even want to know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I get into some of this conversation and especially my wife, her eyes will glaze over. | ||
| Yeah, a lot of people don't give a fuck. | ||
| And they'll start looking for something, oh, excuse me for a minute, and then they leave. | ||
| But it all interests me though. | ||
| I mean, I'm really, like when I was in Paris a few years ago and I went to a museum of Beyond antiquities, where they had the cave drawings, and they had tools made by these so-called cavemen. | ||
| Well, the tools they made were made out of this rock that's like glass, you know? | ||
| I forget what it's called. | ||
| But anyway, you could do major surgeries with them. | ||
| They could get them so sharp. | ||
| And the way they formed them, it wasn't, you know, alley-oop time or, you know, You know, that typical Flintstone image, you know. | ||
| These tools were phenomenal. | ||
| You could put them today and say, I had these tools made, especially by this named artist, and everybody would go, yeah, I believe that. | ||
| Wow, and how old are they? | ||
| Oh, I don't know, a million years? | ||
| A million years? | ||
| I mean, it really goes back. | ||
| I didn't think there were even humans a million years ago. | ||
| I mean, how far back are they saying that there were humans? | ||
| I'm lousy with... | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| So it was just a long time ago. | ||
| We don't have to say a million. | ||
| Let's just say... | ||
| Right back to the beginning. | ||
| Well, of what they found. | ||
| What they found, they found the rock that they would sharpen the spears with. | ||
| They were actually long spear tips, but they would get so sharp because they were made of some kind of rock glass thing. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| I've seen it. | ||
| I don't know what it's called. | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| But yeah, it's beautiful. | ||
| They would chip them and they would get them like literally razor sharp. | ||
| Razor sharp and that's how they killed the bigger animals. | ||
| What a weird thing of nature though. | ||
| I mean somewhere along the line we must have been strong enough to kill shit. | ||
| Or did we just get stronger when we started eating things and were we vegetarians before that? | ||
| Well, they found skulls of people, ancient people, and you can see the ones that were eating, you know, with the big jaw bones and the big... | ||
| They're meat eaters, basically. | ||
| It is weird that there are meat eaters and vegetarians. | ||
| It is a weird thing about life. | ||
| Like, things like deer and cows, it's kind of weird that they don't eat meat. | ||
| Like, you could just walk right by them, you don't ever have to worry about that. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| But if they were meat eaters, you'd be fucked. | ||
| You would be fucked if a cow was a meat eater. | ||
| Could you imagine if a cow was trying to eat you? | ||
| Cows are fucking huge. | ||
| If cows had like big hippo mouths and they were just looking to eat people, we would have a real fucking problem with cows. | ||
| It's weird how there's animals that eat animals and then there's animals that don't do any animals any harm and you could basically just fuck them up. | ||
| And then the ones closest to humans are the ones that are really fucked up. | ||
| The chimps. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Because they're both. | ||
| They'll eat meat and they'll eat vegetables. | ||
| They'll eat whatever is there to eat. | ||
| But they'll find another chimp and he looks hungry. | ||
| He looks good. | ||
| Let's tear his ass apart. | ||
| Yeah, they could do cannibalism. | ||
| I believe it. | ||
| Chimps scare the shit out of me, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you hear about that kid, that guy? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Nailed it. | ||
| Well, he was attacked. | ||
| Apparently that sanctuary is for reintroducing chimps to the wild. | ||
| They take chimps that were kidnapped and forced to work in zoos and for pets and shit like that. | ||
| And experimented on it. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| I mean, essentially all chimps are kidnapped. | ||
| If we admit that chimps are intelligent, right? | ||
| They are. | ||
| We know they're intelligent. | ||
| They're almost people, and yet we're just allowed to kidnap them. | ||
| And test shit on them. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Let's see what happens to them if you do this to them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's kind of fucked when you really think about it. | ||
| I guess that's why they get pissed off when they get a chance. | ||
| Yeah, that's a ruthless way of finding out shit. | ||
| You've got to go, wow, is that the only way? | ||
| Well, like the circus people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ever be around circus people? | ||
| Like lion tamers? | ||
| I met a lion tamer in Spain, I guess it was. | ||
| What a cocky bitch. | ||
| No, it was a guy. | ||
| Him? | ||
| It was a guy. | ||
| What a cocky bitch. | ||
| You could tell... | ||
| That was a generational thing. | ||
| You could tell who the lion tamer was. | ||
| There's a crowd of people. | ||
| You look at the guy with the big claw marks across his face. | ||
| Whoa, no way! | ||
| Big claw marks right across his face. | ||
|
unidentified
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Woo! | |
| That must be fucking terrifying. | ||
| And you can see the lions. | ||
| Because the most exciting part about the circus was watching them unload and load the animals. | ||
| How does he control these big cats? | ||
| Well, that's part of the gig, you know. | ||
| Just when you think you can trust them, you turn their back and... | ||
| How many Siegfried and Roy's have to happen before people wake the fuck up? | ||
| And everybody was like, oh, the tiger was frightened by a feather in the crowd, and so it grabbed him to drag him to safety. | ||
| Ah, I'm not buying that. | ||
| That thing's not scared of shit. | ||
| It's a fucking giant white tiger. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| You really think it's scared of a lady with a feather in her hat? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| That's a tiger. | ||
| Decided to just fuck that dude up, and that's what they do. | ||
| You see that thing on television? | ||
| What was it? | ||
| About a Bengal tiger. | ||
| This guy was, they had a little, it was in Thailand, I think. | ||
| They're all on elephants anyway. | ||
| And they were like, one guy was a gamekeeper. | ||
| He had a bamboo pole. | ||
| And they had this tiger and they watched him. | ||
| And all of a sudden that tiger, Bengal tiger, leaped over the elephant and took out one of the guy's arms, took out his hands. | ||
| And whoever was filming, they kept filming. | ||
| And then the commentator said, the animal trainer wasn't hurt bad. | ||
| And you could see the guy was missing a hand. | ||
| He was like holding his hand and screaming. | ||
| And the tiger was like up. | ||
| That high. | ||
| And then they dissected visually the cat and showed you why it could spring so high, why it could jump so high. | ||
| And it showed the tooth, the teeth. | ||
| And the reason the cat could move the way it moves is that the bones were not connected to the muscle tissue. | ||
| The muscle tissue was all separate. | ||
| And there was no ligaments attached. | ||
| And so they could... | ||
| So it's all one mass of muscle when that cat springs. | ||
| They don't have ligaments? | ||
| They showed that the bones... | ||
| The bones aren't attached to the muscle. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| I don't even know how the hell that would work. | ||
| How would that work? | ||
| Well, they would have... | ||
| How does it work if the bone is not attached to the muscle? | ||
| It floats. | ||
| It floats. | ||
| It's free-floating. | ||
| So the bone is just... | ||
| It's a ribcage. | ||
| Most bones are around us to protect our innards, the way we're structured. | ||
| But this Bengal tiger, in order to make that leap, it can't be attached to anything. | ||
| The strength would tear the ligaments. | ||
| Oh, wow! | ||
| It's a design, you know. | ||
| It's like free-floating amongst the rest of the meat and everything else. | ||
| But it was interesting, and the razor claws come out automatically. | ||
| Like switchblade knives. | ||
| They come out and they're razor sharp. | ||
| Razor sharp. | ||
| Razor sharp. | ||
| Like people don't even, you can't even wrap your head around. | ||
| This ain't a house cat. | ||
| And then it's a Bengal tiger with the fangs. | ||
| And so when it gets the neck or something, like a big water bubble or something, you know, it can do damage. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| But it showed that cat jumping up and it took the guy. | ||
| And the guy's got a bamboo stick. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All of a sudden, no bamboo stick, no hand. | ||
| Oh, it was awesome. | ||
| It's pretty clear that those things are put here to clean shit up. | ||
| Those things are put here to make sure there's less things. | ||
| The less big things. | ||
| They're big things. | ||
| Everything on earth, including cockroaches and ants and everything, their whole mission is to clean shit up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's true, right? | ||
| Isn't it funny how that is? | ||
| It is funny. | ||
| It's like, it's all a big cycle. | ||
| Like, mountain lions have to kill the deers, and deers eat the grass, and yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they're food. | ||
| They're survival food. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, bears and... | ||
| It's just, we're so removed from that as human beings, especially lately. | ||
| And, you know, this last portion of society's last hundred years or so where you can buy anything in a grocery store. | ||
| Like, we've so removed ourselves from that whole life and death struggle for meat. | ||
| Now meat has just sort of become something you just buy. | ||
| Like, we've completely removed ourselves from this primal equation of actually killing the animal, actually taking apart the animal. | ||
| We're, like, really kind of delusional about what we do. | ||
| And using all the animal. | ||
| I mean, how many people, they eat meat, but they don't like hunting? | ||
| I don't like hunting. | ||
| It makes them sick if they see a dead animal on the road or something. | ||
| They'll turn their stomach. | ||
| That's weird, man. | ||
| That's a delusional, sort of a weird... | ||
| State of mind. | ||
| The thing is the animals, when they eat the meat too, they'll go in for the organs right away. | ||
| Yeah, isn't that cool? | ||
| Yeah, and then they'll leave the rest to rot. | ||
| Well, that's why they figure out who's the alpha wolf. | ||
| They'll eat the liver. | ||
| The alpha wolf gets to eat the liver. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was this crazy... | ||
| You ever see that documentary, Brian, about that dude who lived with wolves? | ||
| The guy actually used to plant a kill and put a liver there and then eat the liver in front of the wolf so that he would be the one that was in control. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh. | |
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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Did he ever dance with him? | |
| I don't think it was the same type of movie. | ||
|
unidentified
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It wasn't in his car driving. | |
| Yeah, it was crazy. | ||
| And then he had to go away to fix something. | ||
| He's a wolf expert. | ||
| There was some wolf invasion in this other area. | ||
| So he had to go and help somebody. | ||
| When we came back, the other wolves had decided he wasn't the alpha anymore. | ||
| So then he had to beg for forgiveness and he had to be a beta. | ||
| And it was terrifying, man. | ||
| The dude was whimpering and whimpering and doing all this. | ||
| He knew all that moves. | ||
| In front of this big fucking wolf with its teeth bared. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's like... | |
| It was so horrific. | ||
| You think, what would it be like to be that man right now locked in a cage with a wolf who doesn't want you to be the alpha anymore? | ||
| Especially a wolf that they're so smart. | ||
| And you know the guy was just working on his wits, just trying to keep it together while that was going on. | ||
| That must have been fucking terrifying. | ||
| Well, he became a wolf. | ||
| He obviously became a wolf. | ||
| He obviously did the right moves. | ||
| Yeah, he was going... | ||
| Put the tail aside, turn around. | ||
| It was amazing, man. | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
| He just tucked tail on that wolf and that wolf accepted it. | ||
| It was so frightening to watch, man. | ||
| It was really, it's a gripping thing. | ||
| You know, people on this podcast, the Twitter people go, man, you talk about fucking scary animals too much. | ||
| Listen, I'm sorry, folks. | ||
| I don't mean to have this as a recurring theme. | ||
| This is just how I really fucking think. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| They're scary. | ||
| That tiger that jumped on that elephant is fucking horrifying. | ||
| They're like avatar creatures. | ||
| They don't even look real. | ||
| He was acrobatic. | ||
| I mean, 20 feet, 20 feet. | ||
| Yeah, it's incredible. | ||
| It showed him spring, and 20 feet, and he went up, and boom. | ||
| It's funny that nature made something like that. | ||
| And that fast, that fast, and gone. | ||
| It's so crazy that nature decided to make something like that. | ||
| It's really ridiculous. | ||
| It's like everybody else is on a bicycle, and all of a sudden there's something that's on a Corvette. | ||
| It's total ripoff. | ||
| It's not fair at all. | ||
| A tiger's not fair at all. | ||
| You know, the fact that we can exist in the same area as tigers, like there's poor people in India. | ||
| India's a really scary place for tiger cat attacks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, sure. | ||
| There was a documentary where they were wearing these helmets and they had a mask on the back of the helmet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| Because the tigers don't like sneaking in. | ||
| They don't like confronting you head on. | ||
| They want to sneak up. | ||
| Oh, so if you're looking at them, they'll leave you alone. | ||
| No, they figured out after a while that it was masks. | ||
| So they started jacking dudes even though they had masks on the back of their helmets. | ||
| Big bite on the mask. | ||
| But they have these, they have armored neck things to keep the, because the cat always goes to kill you. | ||
| The cat, that's the thing about like, Chimps will just eat you. | ||
| Bears will just eat you. | ||
| But cats kill you. | ||
| They kill you and then they eat you. | ||
| Because they have to kill every day. | ||
| A chimp can find some bananas and not have to kill anything for a while. | ||
| So they have a different attitude. | ||
| That's the same as bears. | ||
| That's why, have you ever seen videos of bears eating other animals? | ||
| It's horrific. | ||
| Because they're eating them alive. | ||
| They're just holding them down and doing them just like they do a salmon. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's their style. | ||
| Yeah, hold their hand, one paw down and... | ||
| Start chewing. | ||
| That's their only style of eating. | ||
| They don't ever kill you. | ||
| That couple that got killed in a tent, they recorded, they had the recorder on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Remember that? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And no one's ever heard it. | ||
| Just the one woman on that. | ||
| Yeah, it was the Grizzly Man, right? | ||
| Yeah, the Grizzly Man, yeah. | ||
| And he got chewed up, and it's all documented. | ||
| Well, not only that, it was like six minutes long. | ||
| I know, that's what I mean. | ||
| So it took him six minutes to finally find the right place. | ||
| Dude, that's so scary. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| But the guy had a chance to get out of there. | ||
| That guy was out of his mind. | ||
| I think that was like a suicide by Grizzly Bear. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's one of my favorite documentaries. | ||
| If you haven't seen Grizzly Man, folks, it's unintentional comedy at its finest form. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is. | |
| It's amazing. | ||
| It is like a beautiful Coen Brothers movie documentary. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like if you... | ||
| You don't have to change a word of it, and it would be hilarious if it was artificial. | ||
| If you made a mockumentary, and this was the mockumentary, it would be brilliant. | ||
| You'd have people laughing in the theater. | ||
| You'd have people going, it's subtle, but it's great. | ||
| And then even a little over the top, when he was trying to convince people that he wasn't gay. | ||
| Remember when he was walking with a camera? | ||
| I mean, the fucking dude is literally walking with a camera going, well, if I was gay, it wouldn't be a problem. | ||
| Can't find a girl. | ||
| If I was gay, it would be easy. | ||
| But I'm not gay! | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| No straight guy walks around with a camera going, I'm not gay. | ||
| That's probably why he was up there. | ||
| He had an identity crisis. | ||
| Yeah, poor guy. | ||
| That's a disturbing thing, man. | ||
| When you see someone who's burdened by their actual who they are. | ||
| Who they really are. | ||
| They don't want to accept the fact that they're gay. | ||
| Well, they've been born into this mesmeric It's hypnotized society that they want to fit in, but they don't. | ||
| And so they, like a lot of the Caesars in the past, you know, cruel bastards, most of them were gay. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Nero and the boys, you know. | ||
| Were they gay or were they just like anything? | ||
| Did they just fuck anything? | ||
| Were they just savages? | ||
| Were they just nuts? | ||
| I think more towards the gay. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The little boy. | ||
| Jerry Sandowski kind of. | ||
| Well, I've always heard that when people get molested by, like a lot of molesters, when they catch them, they find out that they also were molested when they were young. | ||
| A lot of them. | ||
| So, if you live in this savage Roman time where everybody's just cutting people up with swords, how many people have morals? | ||
| How many people aren't fucking their kids? | ||
| Well, that's why Christianity was so important back in the day, you know, because it gave a whole... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Small amount of people, a moral code. | |
| Yeah, they needed something. | ||
| It would have probably taken way longer without any sort of ideology for people just to agree to not chop each other up with swords. | ||
| It would probably take a long time. | ||
| Well, that was the whole thing. | ||
| If you had a knife, you had your sword, you used it. | ||
| There was no way about it. | ||
| And if you weren't going to use it, then you didn't hang out with those people that used it. | ||
| It's like hanging out at a bar, you know, the rowdies. | ||
| And they have swords. | ||
| When they get drunk. | ||
| No, without swords. | ||
| But, you know, I mean, nowadays. | ||
| If they had swords, there wouldn't be too many around. | ||
| Could you imagine how ridiculous that would be if people were out there? | ||
| We're lucky people don't challenge that, just start walking around with swords. | ||
| Well, they got guns in the South anyway. | ||
| Yeah, a lot of places. | ||
| A lot of places have concealed carry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And there's an argument for that, really. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you think so? | |
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| You know what the argument for it is? | ||
| That it's already pee in the pool. | ||
| Guns are already out there. | ||
| It's not like you can be safe. | ||
| Yeah, but they're like magnets. | ||
| Yes, in a way, yeah. | ||
| Well, you know, it's just like the martial arts. | ||
| Just like martial arts, same thing, man. | ||
| If you know how to fight, For some reason, some guy in the crowd will find you and challenge you because it's like he understands like. | ||
| God, there's silly people that have challenged like Chuck Liddell. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Silly people. | ||
| People really don't realize how ridiculous some people are out there in the world. | ||
| Suicide by suicide. | ||
| Well, it's not even math. | ||
| They're just so stupid. | ||
| I know. | ||
| They might actually think they have some sort of a shot at beating his ass. | ||
| It sounds like there's no way. | ||
| Everybody knows I was a fucking multiple-time UFC champion, one of the best knockout artists ever. | ||
| Really? | ||
| You think guys are picking on him? | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| No, they really probably would. | ||
| There's got to be someone that dumb. | ||
| The world is filled with morals. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Well, you know... | ||
| They just can't help themselves. | ||
| They're like the wrong way. | ||
| Or a Tourette. | ||
| It's almost like a social Tourette thing. | ||
| You know, where they can't help themselves. | ||
| They have to say the worst thing, the wrong thing, and get whacked. | ||
| And a lot of that is like what we were talking about. | ||
| They were abused when they were raised. | ||
| They were raised incorrectly. | ||
| Someone didn't give them the proper amount of love. | ||
| Is that phones going on in the background? | ||
| Well, you've got good ears. | ||
| Well, of course, I'm deaf. | ||
| Are you going deaf? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Everything's going on me. | ||
| Yeah, man, you're suffering right now from cancer, right? | ||
| Is that what's going on? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I got prostate cancer. | |
| How far is it along? | ||
| It's slow moving, apparently. | ||
| I've had it, I guess, for about six years now. | ||
| I can tell you exactly when it happened. | ||
| I was in prison, and all of a sudden, my boner wasn't responding. | ||
| And ever since then, I said, oh, there's something wrong. | ||
| And you know the prostate gets big anyway on old guys and mine was big and then I went in and had it checked about three four times and they couldn't find anything and that's like three four times a guy's with fingers up my ass you know so it wasn't wasn't that pleasurable you know in fact one guy told me a joke he's getting an exam like that and he told the doctor he says will you stick your other finger up my butt too because I want a second opinion So | ||
| I got to the point where I had like four second opinions, you know, and they said, well, it could be, I don't think so. | ||
| Yeah, you're okay. | ||
| And then my numbers, my PSA or PSA, whatever it is, some numbers that you get in your, I just had my blood checked today and I'll know tomorrow. | ||
| If it's, you know, under control. | ||
| But apparently, everybody has cancer. | ||
| You're born with cancer cells. | ||
| Everybody has cancer cells. | ||
| And what happens when you get older, the immune system If it's, say, taxed in any way, you know, eating wrong, drinking wrong, the cancer will increase and eventually kill you. | ||
| But a cancer cell is just like a zombie cell, you know. | ||
| It doesn't know it's dead. | ||
| It's half alive. | ||
| And it can only reproduce itself, which is another zombie. | ||
| And so what you do, in order for good health, you eat things that kill cancer. | ||
| And you stay away from stuff that feeds cancer. | ||
| Like sugar, for instance. | ||
| Sugar will feed cancer. | ||
| Sugar is really the worst substance on earth. | ||
| But it's so delicious. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Isn't it funny? | ||
| It's terrifying. | ||
| That's Adam and Eve, isn't it? | ||
| Cheesecake is delicious. | ||
| Isn't it? | ||
| A nice piece of cheesecake. | ||
| You've got to have sugar to make cheesecake. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Everything. | ||
| Or you could get that Cheesecake Factory. | ||
| It has that sugar-free cheesecake. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That might even be worse, though. | |
| Splenda? | ||
| Splenda bad for you? | ||
| I've worked in a cookie factory for a while and I couldn't eat the product. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It was so chemical-ed up. | ||
| There was so much crap in it. | ||
| So you saw what got put in? | ||
| I saw what went in and I physically could not eat a cookie. | ||
| Is it like Oreos or something? | ||
| They're Oreos or all those marshmallow things. | ||
| The only thing I could eat was a marshmallow. | ||
| That was kind of organic, and that was it. | ||
| Marshmallows organic? | ||
| Well, yeah, I mean, I don't know. | ||
| It didn't taste as bad as the rest. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| It's the big chemical soup like all the rest of them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, you know, it was like lard. | ||
| They put a big thing, a couple of gallons of lard into the big mixer, like a cement mixer, and then pounds of icing sugar. | ||
| into the mixer, then you mix it all up, then you pour it into a hopper, and then it goes over top of the cookies and it comes down. | ||
| So that's how you make that? | ||
| That's how you make the center of the icing. | ||
| So the marshmallow stuff is kind of organic. | ||
| Yeah, I know it's good for the skin. | ||
| Marshmallow is good for the skin. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Do you rub it on your skin? | ||
| If it's on the skin, it's like a mask or something. | ||
| There's something, lanolin or something in it that's good for the skin. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| I've never heard that before. | ||
| But everything else, oh, that sugar was horrible. | ||
| So sugar is just terrible for your body, period. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It gives you all the problems. | |
| Overweight, diabetes. | ||
| Chris Lieben lost a fight because his body went into a state of shock. | ||
| Because he ate a bunch of sugar after the weigh-ins, before his fight with Brian Stan. | ||
| He had really cut it down to the wire, so he was just dying to have something in his body. | ||
| So you've got to think he's been eating clean, watched his diet for a long time, trying to get down to weight. | ||
| He makes weight, and then eats a bunch of candy. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| And he was fucked, man. | ||
| He couldn't fight. | ||
| Later that day, he was sick. | ||
| He's in shock. | ||
| It was toxic shock. | ||
| It's a poison. | ||
| So when he didn't throw up, did he throw up? | ||
| I'm sure he did. | ||
| I'm sure he did. | ||
| He just didn't fight like himself. | ||
| He still fought well, but he's just a tough dude. | ||
| But he definitely was compromised. | ||
| You could tell. | ||
| If you get sugar naturally, fruit or something like that, that's a lot better for you. | ||
| Bananas or something like that. | ||
| There's always something in there with the sugar that's good for you. | ||
| Well, that's how you're supposed to get sugar, right? | ||
| It's when you pull it out and then just eat it by itself. | ||
| It's like, what are you doing there? | ||
| You're not supposed to get that much. | ||
| Corn syrup is in everything. | ||
| That's supposed to be really bad for you, right? | ||
| The worst. | ||
| The absolute worst. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| I go into Whole Foods now shopping because I'm on a very special diet. | ||
| And I stand in areas that I can't eat one thing. | ||
| In that area. | ||
| Like all the breads. | ||
| I can't eat bread, rice, all the starches. | ||
| What kind of a diet are you following? | ||
| It's very green. | ||
| Very green. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Kale, raw foods, carrots. | |
| And it's actually quite delicious. | ||
| Do you make like a kale shake? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| I've been making... | ||
| I got a juicer, a natural juicer, a worm-driven juicer. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it's not a speed thing. | ||
| And so what it does, it squeezes the juice out. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| And I juice everything. | ||
| They say you should eat the fiber too. | ||
| The shakes... | ||
| The shakes are good for that. | ||
| You just cut them all up. | ||
| Somebody had a great idea. | ||
| One of the dudes from our message board said he didn't have enough money for one of those blenders because the Vitamax blenders are expensive. | ||
| But instead what he did is he juiced his vegetables first and then took all the pulp and then threw all that in a blender with the juice. | ||
| So he made his own smoothie. | ||
| I'm like, that's pretty clever. | ||
| So that way he's getting all the plant fiber. | ||
| He's getting the fiber too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because sometimes like when you juice, like after you go into that bucket where all the fiber drops and you like pull all the stuff out, like shouldn't I be eating this too? | ||
| Sure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know? | |
| I mean, I guess you're getting a massively concentrated form of nutrients if you're just juicing though. | ||
| Yeah, but the fiber gives you that. | ||
| Fiber's good too. | ||
| Gives you that nice turd, you know? | ||
| That's what I'm talking about, dog. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You need that. | |
| See, when you get older you appreciate a solid shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can cook with that, you know, that bucket of stuff. | |
| A lot of people make like vegetable lasagna or stuff like that. | ||
| Yeah, you could definitely cook with it. | ||
| Yeah, my wife made a carrot cake out of the carrots. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| But I couldn't eat it because of the sugar. | ||
| No sugar. | ||
| I don't mind. | ||
| I don't mind at all. | ||
| So do you feel better now that you've altered your diet like this? | ||
| I'm the healthiest I've ever been in my life. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| And I got cancer. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| That's a great statement. | ||
| How long has it been that you've been on this diet? | ||
| Two months. | ||
| Two months, wow. | ||
| Let's see, May, June, July. | ||
| Yeah, three months. | ||
| It affects you a lot, huh? | ||
| Three months. | ||
| No, I'm not hungry at all. | ||
| One thing about... | ||
| No, no, no, I mean it affects you positively this time. | ||
| Oh, totally, totally. | ||
| Just, when you've got cancer, it's just the nights are kind of long. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know. | ||
| You start... | ||
| You start tallying up scores and realizing I can see the end of the game. | ||
| It's the fourth quarter and we may not go into overtime. | ||
| Like last night I had a bad night. | ||
| I've been doing most of my oil, hemp oil or cannabis oil at night. | ||
| Now, explain to people the idea behind that, because I've seen that Rick Simpson stuff online. | ||
| Is he the guy who figured out that... | ||
| He's one of them. | ||
| ...cannabis oil? | ||
| One of the doctors? | ||
| One of them. | ||
| Is he a doctor? | ||
| No, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No? | |
| No, he's a funny, he's an old farmer from Nova Scotia. | ||
| And how did he figure out... | ||
| An old right-wing farmer, like an old... | ||
| Really? | ||
| ...old Canadian-y. | ||
| A right-wing farmer? | ||
| He used to be right-wing. | ||
| Everybody in Canada was right-wing. | ||
| Guns and shit like that. | ||
| What he did, he had melanoma real bad. | ||
| I don't know who turned him on to it, but he said, hey, try some hash oil. | ||
| Put some hash oil on it. | ||
| And he was due into the doctor, who was in the documentary, for an operation to get most of his jaw or cheek or something. | ||
| Well, no, near his eye. | ||
| It was near his eye. | ||
| The skin around his eye was going to be taken out. | ||
| And so... | ||
| They put the hemp oil on it, cured it, sheared it. | ||
| Cured two other spots on his body too. | ||
| And so he went in with a camera to the doctor and the doctor and them threw him out. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because they cured cancer! | ||
| That's a medical thing, you know. | ||
| But why would the doctor throw him out? | ||
| Because if the word gets out, they're charging, you know, you know, I'm gonna say charge. | ||
| I just paid $280. | ||
| But do you think the doctor himself, as a doctor, wouldn't want people to know about that? | ||
| If he came to the doctor and said... | ||
| The doctor wouldn't talk to him. | ||
| The doctor... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| He went over the test with him and said, you don't have cancer anymore. | ||
| You know, it's gone totally. | ||
| Boom, boom, boom. | ||
| And so he tried to get the conversation going, and this is what cured me. | ||
| And the doctor would not hear it, and the receptionist literally called for security. | ||
| Where was this part of the world? | ||
| This was up in Canada, Nova Scotia. | ||
| I can imagine that. | ||
| Nova Scotia. | ||
| Well, Vancouver's very liberal, but there's a lot of parts of Canada that are certainly conservative, or at least were. | ||
| That's the amazing thing about these guys. | ||
| So what he did, he turned his friends on that had cancer, because there's a whole bunch of them up there that had lung cancer, prostrate cancer. | ||
| Now, how do you, it's applied topically if you have a skin cancer? | ||
| Well, if you've got skin, you apply it topically. | ||
| Do you eat it as well? | ||
| You eat it for everything else, like prostrate. | ||
| So for skin, you don't eat it as well as put it topically? | ||
| I imagine you could. | ||
| You know, I mean, if you like the high... | ||
| These guys weren't... | ||
| Because it doesn't make you high, right? | ||
| Oh, it does. | ||
| Oh, it does? | ||
| It is. | ||
| That's why I do it at night. | ||
| CBD is what doesn't make you high, right? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Is it cannabinoids? | ||
| Is it a CBD that doesn't make you high? | ||
| Yeah, it's the THC that gets you. | ||
| It alleviates anxiety. | ||
| But you can't separate it. | ||
| Oh, you can't. | ||
| You know, the oil, I mean, it's hash oil. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| It's hash oil. | ||
| So it's essentially just hash oil. | ||
| It's hash oil. | ||
| I call it hemp oil. | ||
| Yeah, that's what everybody's been saying. | ||
| Oh, that's good. | ||
| So it is the same thing. | ||
| So if you take this, it's just like eating a strong edible. | ||
| Stronger. | ||
| So you've got to be very careful. | ||
| Dude, I've had some of those liquid ones, those little liquid, they come in like a little vial. | ||
| The lose-a-day? | ||
| The lose-a-day kind? | ||
| I don't know who makes it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where you lose a whole day? | |
| Oh, lose a day. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Well, this is what it's like. | ||
| I described it. | ||
| It's like standing in front of a cosmic waterfall and you're just able to poke your head through to the other side and look at the back behind the waterfall for a little bit. | ||
| And there's another waterfall back there. | ||
| Yeah, that's how high you get. | ||
| You get reality shattering high. | ||
| I get staying bed high. | ||
| It's so self-examatory. | ||
| It makes me want to apologize to everybody I've ever met. | ||
| Everybody I've ever met, I'm so sorry. | ||
| Whatever I've done, I'm not a bad guy, I swear to God. | ||
| I get out of bed, you know, I didn't know how to take the medicine, so on the video it showed him take a little dollop on his fingertip. | ||
| So I did the same thing. | ||
| He sent me a whole kit of the oil in these big plastic syringes, you know, that you decorate cakes with. | ||
| It's super hard to make though, right? | ||
| Apparently. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They make it next door at the school. | |
| They just bought an extractor. | ||
| Cheese it, son. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, it's... | |
| You want people to know where you are? | ||
| The feds, they're out there, kid! | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, they're legally allowed to do it. | |
| There's no such thing. | ||
| There's no such thing. | ||
| For real. | ||
| If someone in Washington, D.C. is listening to this and they decide, let's go and fuck those guys up. | ||
| There's no law against that. | ||
| Do you know that? | ||
| The federal law supersedes the state law as far as... | ||
| Well, that's my whole... | ||
| That's what happened. | ||
| What happened to him? | ||
| That's my whole point of my life now is to get this shit legal so I don't have to go around corners, you know, sneak around to get my cancer medication. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, when I was a kid, okay, and I listened to your albums, and they were albums, vinyl, you know, and Who would have ever believed that here would be still in 2012 and all the children who listen to your shit have now grown up and are still passing ridiculous laws and it's still illegal. | ||
| They're still raiding pharmacies. | ||
| I think my job on earth really was... | ||
| I was born around the same time that they made it illegal, 1938. It was when they made it illegal. | ||
| That's when I came out. | ||
| I got turned on when I was 18 by a Chinese jazz musician. | ||
| He gave me a Lenny Bruce record and a joint. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow! | |
| And he said, enjoy. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| I didn't know. | ||
| I was, you know, really scared of the joint because I'd never heard about it, but I never smoked it. | ||
| So I smoked a tiny little bit, put it out, and laughed my ass off. | ||
| Laughed until I was sick, until I was literally. | ||
| And then I had my friends come over and we all listened, but I never turned my friends on to the joint. | ||
| No? | ||
| I kept it to myself. | ||
| I didn't want to be the guy, you know? | ||
| You didn't want to turn them all into junkies? | ||
| I didn't know where I was going to get another one. | ||
| So it wasn't that you were worried you were going to turn them into junkies? | ||
| No. | ||
| It was that it was too good? | ||
| It was too good. | ||
| I didn't know where I was going to get another one. | ||
| I had no dealer. | ||
| I never even thought of it, you know? | ||
| So it lasted. | ||
| The best ever. | ||
| It was the best high. | ||
| What was the climate of life back then? | ||
| What year was this? | ||
| It was 56. How rampant was marijuana smoking? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| In Canada, you could sit in a concert and smoke it and no one would know anything. | ||
| Really? | ||
| They'd ask you and you'd say, yeah, it's Italian tobacco. | ||
| And they go, oh, it smells good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That's awesome. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, you could walk down the street smoking. | ||
| And then in the 60s, I remember when I was in Vancouver in the 60s and the What singing group? | ||
| The Four Tops? | ||
| I think it was the Four Tops. | ||
| You know, the, I'll be there, the Four Tops. | ||
| They were playing at the cave, a little club in the cave. | ||
| And of course, they're the Four Tops, the black guys from Detroit. | ||
| So they smoked up a joint before the show, and they put the ashtray, put the roach in an ashtray, and went and did the show. | ||
| In the meantime, the maid comes up, finds the joint, phones the cops, first the front desk, then the cops came, and the cops got the room next door, and so when the Four Tops came back from their gig, they bust in the room, and they arrested the Four Tops and a Jewish comedian. | ||
| I forget his name. | ||
| And they took him down there, and the Tops were telling his story after. | ||
| You know, it didn't last. | ||
| I mean, Barry Gordy or Motown sent the money or whatever it was, and it went away pretty quick, you know. | ||
| But you can get shit to go away back then. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There was no TMZ. No, no. | |
| That disappeared. | ||
| But the funny thing was they took him to jail. | ||
| They took the Four Tops to jail with the comedian. | ||
| And the comedian had nothing to do with it. | ||
| He came up to the room for a drink or something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And the comedian was saying, hey, hey, hey, I'm not with these guys. | |
| Come on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on, look at me. | |
| Do I look like a four top? | ||
| I'm not the fifth top. | ||
| Sounds like Joe Pesci. | ||
| Could Joe Pesci play that guy in a movie? | ||
| In a minute. | ||
| In a minute. | ||
| It was very funny. | ||
| So the climate back then was much more innocent. | ||
| It was much different. | ||
| Where were you living at the time? | ||
| Well, I was in Calgary when I first got stoned. | ||
| Calgary. | ||
| First time. | ||
| And that's when I quit school. | ||
| I'm going there in a couple weeks. | ||
| Everything they said about Calgary. | ||
| Oh, I'll turn you on. | ||
| I like Calgary. | ||
| I've been up there before. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Great place. | |
| I did the Jack Singer concert hall. | ||
| I'm doing two shows there. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| Right before the UFC at the Jack Singer concert hall. | ||
| Oh, did you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Nice place. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, it's beautiful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Last time we did it, we actually had people on the stage. | ||
| They fucked up with the tickets somehow or another. | ||
| Oh, so you put them on stage. | ||
| Yeah, we put 50 people on stage with us. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| It was great. | ||
| It was so nice, man. | ||
| Oh, it's great. | ||
| You didn't even feel weird about it. | ||
| Yeah, Singer. | ||
| He was a rich guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All those guys. | ||
| Fun place. | ||
| Bellsburg. | ||
| Yeah, I grew up in Calgary. | ||
| Oh yeah, no shit. | ||
| We should come to the UFC there in a couple weeks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I could hook you up. | ||
| Yeah, I want to go. | ||
| Do you want to go? | ||
| Well, I'll see how my cancer schedule is. | ||
| Well, if you feel well and you feel up to it, let me know. | ||
| That's not that. | ||
| Not that at all. | ||
| It's just, I've got to do it. | ||
| Doctors and all that shit. | ||
| Now, are you using chemotherapy? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| My cancer is very slow. | ||
| In fact, it's kind of weird what they say about my cancer. | ||
| They say, usually we don't tell a guy at your age. | ||
| Yeah, usually we don't tell a guy because by the time the cancer is bad, you'll be dead of some other causes. | ||
| No shit. | ||
| So that's one of the things. | ||
| That's kind of creepy that your doctor would hold that back from you. | ||
| It's very creepy. | ||
| Well, they do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, how many times do you have to see people die before they get jaded? | |
| Yeah, well, you don't have to change your lifestyle. | ||
| See, I got a straight doctor and I got a very hip naturopath. | ||
| I thought you were going to say a gay doctor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, the straight doctor. | |
| And that's why you wanted to test me eight times. | ||
| The straight doctor. | ||
| He's kind of like, hey, whatever you want to do, go ahead, don't worry about it. | ||
| Here's some pills. | ||
| Take these pills. | ||
| They're very expensive, but they'll keep your prostate from growing, and it'll keep the cancer cells from growing, and so you'll be okay for a while. | ||
| Side effects, you might get Alzheimer's from it, but it's down the line too, you know. | ||
| So my naturopath, he was the opposite. | ||
| He said, well, Yeah, take those pills, but get off them as soon as you can, and here's all this natural stuff you take, like green tea supplements. | ||
| Not green tea in a glass, but condensed green tea is really good, and there's all sorts of other stuff. | ||
| Because it's a strong antioxidant? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that what it is? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| A lot of oil, a lot of fish oil, a lot of krill oil, a lot of good oil. | ||
| And that's because you keep your bones and everything else oiled, and the cancer cells can't stick to it. | ||
| What? | ||
| It works that way? | ||
| Yeah, that's why. | ||
| Cancer cells will stick to things. | ||
| Like an oiled up wrestler? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, internally. | ||
| Oh, internally. | ||
| Internally. | ||
| You've got to oil yourself internally. | ||
| And that's why water. | ||
| Be very careful with your water intake because that's what happened to me. | ||
| I wasn't drinking enough water. | ||
| So you dehydrated all the time? | ||
| And so I was water deficient. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hydro, what do you call it? | ||
| Deficient. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| I would drink tea, I'd drink all this other stuff, you know, sodas and stuff, you know, but I wouldn't drink water. | ||
| If you work out, you gotta rehydrate. | ||
| Really rehydrate. | ||
| With water. | ||
| Yeah, with water. | ||
| Or coconut juice is really good, too. | ||
| Coconut water, rather. | ||
| That's a lot of electrolytes in it. | ||
| But I went to a doctor recently, and I found out that I was three pounds dehydrated. | ||
| Because I worked out the night before and I, you know, I had eaten. | ||
| I thought I drank enough. | ||
| But he's like, you know, you can look at when they do like a body mass index thing on you. | ||
| It's like you're dehydrated. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so for cancer, cancer loves dehydration. | ||
| They love you fucked up, huh? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| Yeah, they like you weakened. | ||
| Well, figure it out. | ||
| Your immune system is so busy with everything else. | ||
| And I'll tell you another, I went to another healer and he gave me a great tip I'll pass on to you and your listeners, is one way to cleanse your liver and your kidneys, which really should be cleansed as much as you can. | ||
| I heard it's a blowout weekend with Jack Daniels. | ||
| That's what I heard. | ||
| I heard that's the best cleaner. | ||
| No, it's after. | ||
| I heard your liver needs a workout. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Every now and then, you just got to put your liver through an NFL combine. | |
| The way you do it, you get a bag of Celtic salt. | ||
| Sea salt. | ||
| Sea salt? | ||
| Celtic sea salt. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's rock salt, but it has all the other minerals in it, too. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| And you get as much, a gallon or so, of water. | ||
| Preferably, not distilled, but, you know, whatever. | ||
| Spring water? | ||
| Spring water, you know, pure, pure, pure water. | ||
| You know, you don't want tap water. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And what you do, you put a pinch of seawater in your glass, and you drink it. | ||
| Pinch of salt. | ||
| Pinch of sea salt in the glass, drink it down. | ||
| And drink, try to drink as much as you can with the sea salt. | ||
| And the thing is, the salt will make you thirsty. | ||
| In fact, that's why we love salt so much, because salt makes the body thirsty. | ||
| The body needs water. | ||
| And the body will do anything it can do to get water. | ||
| Once you put salt in it? | ||
| Normally, normally your body needs water and so it'll do whatever and the salt makes you drink more and when you put salt in like distilled water, the fresh spring water, it cleanses your whole body. | ||
| Now you could have a You know, it cleansed your, like I say, it could act like an animal sometimes. | ||
| Oh, blast you out, right? | ||
| Oh, yeah, it'll clench out. | ||
| But you should do that at least, I'm doing it at least once a month. | ||
| Once a month? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And when you define a pinch, what would you say that is? | ||
| You think that's like just a tiny sprinkle? | ||
| You don't want to put too much in it though, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nah, well... | |
| You've got to be careful, right? | ||
| Yeah, too much. | ||
| It's just too much. | ||
| Well, isn't it dangerous at a certain point? | ||
| Well, the water and the salt. | ||
| See, that's why it has to be saltic salt. | ||
| It can't be iodized or refined in any way. | ||
| It has to be sea salt because what you're doing, you're putting minerals back into your system. | ||
| Especially back into your kidneys. | ||
| You see, that's where you're deficient. | ||
| Because none of the supermarket foods give you minerals. | ||
| You know, that's why we have supplements. | ||
| You're talking about supplements. | ||
| We're just getting minerals. | ||
| That's all we're basically doing. | ||
| And sea salt is the cheapest, the easiest, nicest way to get your minerals. | ||
| Well, another thing is a lot of people don't realize that your land that you grow things on, you can't really keep growing things on the same spot forever. | ||
| No. | ||
| Like, you deplete the minerals from the soil. | ||
| And so then your vegetables become mineral deficient. | ||
| And that's why, you know, the leafy vegetables don't look as green and rich. | ||
| You know if they don't look like green and rich they're probably not as healthy and in the in the non-organic Fertilizer, you know, that's so bad for the whole system. | ||
| What really creeps me out is this old Monsanto thing or Monsanto is creating these suicide seeds that you know they work once and they don't make they don't make seeds and Like, you know, if you get a tomato, you can't take a tomato seed out and try to plant that seed. | ||
| That seed's useless. | ||
| They've killed them. | ||
| I love what they're doing, because what they're doing is they're identifying themselves. | ||
| As creeps. | ||
| Yeah, so we can, you look at it and go, oh, okay, give me the organic, you know. | ||
| Yeah, that's what they did with the coconut. | ||
| Monsanto was the one that ran the coconut people out of business. | ||
| Did you know that? | ||
| No, I had no idea. | ||
| Well, the coconut, everybody used coconut oil, and it's the healthiest oil on the planet. | ||
| I mean, to cook with, to wash with, you know, your hair, your skin. | ||
| I remember when they said it was bad for you. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Well, that was Monsanto. | ||
| Really? | ||
| They were saying that the fat would give you heart attacks and clogged up the cholesterol. | ||
| Bullshit. | ||
| It's just the opposite, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's the opposite. | |
| It's really good for you. | ||
| It's really good for you. | ||
| Coconut oils are one of the healthiest things you can eat. | ||
| I got a great test now because I got a naturopath doctor and he says, what are you eating? | ||
| And I name off certain things and he'll say, don't eat that, don't eat that. | ||
| I said, coconut, eat as much as you want. | ||
| Yeah, coconut is good. | ||
| Especially the coconuts from Thailand, you know, those are the ones that have the most delicious milk. | ||
| With the white, silky. | ||
| Yeah, the Thailand's good. | ||
| They're all good. | ||
| It's all good. | ||
| They're Filipinos. | ||
| I mean, that's why the Polynesians, you know, their skin's so beautiful and they've got hair. | ||
| You know, you don't... | ||
| Such a healthy fruit too, eating the actual coconut itself, so good for you. | ||
| And did you know, here's a fact about a coconut that I didn't know about until my artist son-in-law told me, but the coconut itself is... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Insecticide. | |
| Really? | ||
| It emits things that kill insects. | ||
| Huh, the outside? | ||
| The outside, the whole planet itself. | ||
| It's an insecticide. | ||
| It's an insecticide. | ||
| And that's one of the reasons that if you use coconut oil, you know, keep the mosquitoes away. | ||
| No shit! | ||
| That stuff works? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I've never heard of that before. | ||
| Does it work as good as off, though? | ||
| Because off stinks, but that shit works. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I don't want to get kind of bit because I'm being crunchy. | ||
| No, but the insects... | ||
| See, the coconut plant itself took a few years to develop this, but they needed a defense against insects and birds and... | ||
| Imagine a coconut shell. | ||
| What a perfect home that would make. | ||
| For how many birds, everything. | ||
| But you notice? | ||
| They're left alone. | ||
| They got this big leafy thing around it that protects it too. | ||
| But the plant itself is an insecticide. | ||
| It's pretty cool. | ||
| It's amazing that a coconut exists at all. | ||
| I mean, isn't it amazing that you gotta chop through all this bullshit to get to this delicious center where all this water is? | ||
| And look at the soil it grows in. | ||
| Sand. | ||
| Sand. | ||
| So strange. | ||
| What a strange fucking alien plant. | ||
| That's so good for you. | ||
| Yeah, that's so good for you. | ||
| So good for you. | ||
| The most unfortunate thing about Americans is our diet. | ||
| So many people just are not eating the proper amount of nutrients, vegetables. | ||
| Well, that explains for the psychotic behavior of people. | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| Work is also the culprit. | ||
| People just go crazy. | ||
| They don't want to work anymore. | ||
| We don't work, man. | ||
| You and I haven't worked in a long time. | ||
| When you work, you're doing something you don't like. | ||
| And you're doing it all day. | ||
| And that's most of us. | ||
| Most of our country is filled with people that are working. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're surviving. | |
| That's why the immigration thing is such a thing. | ||
| Because it's just people migrating up where the food is. | ||
| Work means food. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| That's why these immigration laws are kind of ridiculous. | ||
| It just puts people in a position where they can be mean to other people. | ||
| Well, it's a crazy situation anyway. | ||
| The only reason why it exists at all is because we don't have jetpacks and portable helicopters. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's not easy to fly around. | ||
| If everyone had a fucking plane, there would be no countries. | ||
| It would be ridiculous because you could just go anywhere you want. | ||
| They would get over the fact they can't control people. | ||
| They would have to control the airports and then people would rebel and take their airports back. | ||
| Everything in America is all front. | ||
| It's all a front. | ||
| It's all a facade. | ||
| There's nothing real. | ||
| Like when you get searched. | ||
| When 9-11 just happened, I was flying to somewhere, Houston or flying to Argentina or somewhere. | ||
| But anyway, flew into Miami. | ||
| You know the security, they got the bags going through the machines and everything. | ||
| Well, Miami, all these flights from the rest of the world, they just unload their baggage beside the machines and people just come and pick up their baggage. | ||
| When they're going to the next flight. | ||
| In other words, it's a third world country. | ||
| So we're protected everywhere, LA, New York, we're protected, protected, protected. | ||
| Then you go down to the butt of the country, Miami, you think they would have some protection there? | ||
| None. | ||
| None. | ||
| You could walk through a little barrier. | ||
| You walk around. | ||
| Oh, there's my bag over there. | ||
| Or there's somebody's bag. | ||
| Or let's put this explosive over there. | ||
| No one would have... | ||
| Are you giving terrorist ideas? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I hope not. | |
| Are you telling them where's a good spot to attack? | ||
| I'll tell you how to sneak into the country. | ||
| How? | ||
| Puerto Rico. | ||
| Puerto Rico? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| How's that? | ||
| You can get a passport in the Dominican Republic. | ||
| Then you can swim over to or get dropped off and swim to Puerto Rico. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then you dress up or whatever, you know, and then you got your passport, your green card, and you get on a plane for anywhere in America. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| It's that easy? | ||
| That easy. | ||
| You're a mastermind. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You should write books on how to break the law. | |
| I know a lot of them, man. | ||
| Do you think that there should be no borders? | ||
| Is that what you think? | ||
| Do you think people should be able to travel anywhere they want? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| It's like the pot. | ||
| You know, people are saying to me, you know, well, if we legalize, then we could tax it. | ||
| I said, no, no. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Why make work for yourself? | ||
| Just legalize it. | ||
| Just eliminate the DEA. No, what you do, you transfer everybody from DEA to Secret Service. | ||
| They obviously need some corrupt people in there. | ||
| And you eliminate the DEA. So take the DEA and maybe, how about use them for something good? | ||
| How about use them for some sort of an educational program or something like that? | ||
| I can't think of one that wouldn't work because they're basically cops. | ||
| You'd have to give them another cop job. | ||
| No, no, they're criminals. | ||
| They're beyond cops. | ||
| They're not just cops. | ||
| You feel like the DEA are criminals? | ||
| DEA, they're total criminals. | ||
| They're total criminals. | ||
| And if you're not, you're not in the DEA. You have to transfer out because you can't have one bad cop Now when you say, you mean they're really corrupt. | ||
| They're totally corrupt. | ||
| We don't hear about the money that, remember all the money they used to find with marijuana? | ||
| And now they're saying they're selling more marijuana than ever. | ||
| We don't hear about the money anymore, do we? | ||
| We don't hear about the millions of dollars in drug money that gets confiscated sitting in the court until trial. | ||
| What do they do with that money? | ||
| They split it amongst themselves. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They don't have to account for it? | |
| For real. | ||
| They put it in their pocket. | ||
| They split it up. | ||
| A hundred percent. | ||
| There's no doubt about it. | ||
| I'll name an instance. | ||
| I won't name the guy's name, but he's a friend of mine from Vancouver. | ||
| And he was down here. | ||
| He's working for the Hells Angels. | ||
| I can say that name because people know Right. | ||
| And his job was to deliver the load of B.C. Bud, which he drove down in a U-Haul trailer, to a safe house. | ||
| And then he'd drive home. | ||
| And he got ratted out. | ||
| Someone ratted him out, you know. | ||
| Could have been one of the angels, too. | ||
| You never know. | ||
| Because they control a lot of the borders up in Canada. | ||
| Anyway, the DEA arrested him in front of the Grauman Theater. | ||
| Arrested him. | ||
| Yeah, just him. | ||
| And they handcuffed him. | ||
| And they had the big trailer of weed, which he showed me. | ||
| He showed me the weed. | ||
| And then he gets taken to jail. | ||
| And he's in jail, and they won't let him use the phone or anything, and they interrogate him, and they say, where's the safe house? | ||
| So he gave up the safe house, and then about maybe two hours later, the jailer comes in and says, okay, you can go. | ||
| Kicked his ass out of the jail. | ||
| They just let him go and took the money. | ||
| They let him go. | ||
| They took the money. | ||
| Took the weed. | ||
| They took the money and took the weed and just let him go. | ||
| And that's one guy. | ||
| That's one guy. | ||
| Is that what's going on now? | ||
| That's what these raids are all about? | ||
| It's just a money grab? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| The raids are for newspapers. | ||
| It's for the press to let them know so they can get their budget. | ||
| They can get their billion dollar budget. | ||
| You know what's disturbing is that the money that could be given to them rightfully through taxes, the money that could be given to the state, is pretty substantial. | ||
| If they made it legal. | ||
| Quite substantial. | ||
| Because people aren't going to really grow it themselves. | ||
| Some people are. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| But you don't need to invent a new system. | ||
| We've got a system in place that's called sales tax. | ||
| If you open a store, you pay taxes. | ||
| And that's all you do. | ||
| If you want to buy a bag of weed, like you buy a bag of flour, it's the same thing. | ||
| And you should be able to grow it like you grow fucking tomatoes. | ||
| You can grow your own tomatoes. | ||
| You should be able to grow your own weed. | ||
| You can. | ||
| You can. | ||
| And the only trouble is, is that... | ||
| Because of the greed involved. | ||
| That's why it's still illegal. | ||
| Because not only the people that the hemp would replace, you know, the forestry, you know, the paper industry. | ||
| Well, that's the most ridiculous thing is that hemp isn't even psychoactive and it's illegal. | ||
| Yeah, because of the paper industry and the pharmaceutical industry for the pain relief. | ||
| There's a show on TV yesterday about the marijuana pain thing, and they can't come up, the pharmaceuticals cannot match pot for what it does. | ||
| They cannot, and they've tried and tried and tried, they cannot match it. | ||
| Well, you've got to think that there's plants that we have a symbiotic relationship with. | ||
| And we know that there's a long, long relationship that people have to eating cannabis. | ||
| And we know that eating it, where it doesn't even get you high, when you just eat the plant, it doesn't get you high, is incredibly good for you. | ||
| That's, by the way, the juice. | ||
| People are juicing leaves for cancer. | ||
| And the leaves, you don't smoke the leaves anyway, right? | ||
| I used to. | ||
| You used to smoke the leaves? | ||
| But it's not as psychoactive, right? | ||
| It's not as powerful? | ||
| There's a thing about sort of like a memory, body memory. | ||
| It's like smoking a bad joint. | ||
| We used to joke about it and say this weed was only good for selling to the military. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's fine. | |
| Because then if they got caught, they get tested. | ||
| There's nothing in their blood. | ||
| So they would be okay. | ||
| But no, weed, I don't think it should be taxed other than just decriminalize it. | ||
| Just leave us alone, you know. | ||
| And then the economy will blossom. | ||
| You'd be the guy to answer this. | ||
| When you hear people say, well, the marijuana of today is not like the marijuana of old. | ||
| Is that totally true? | ||
| Or is it... | ||
| What I've read is that most of the marijuana back in the day was not as strong as the shit that's today. | ||
| But every now and then you get some shit that will blow your mind. | ||
| It's just as good as today's. | ||
| I'll tell you an analogy that kind of covers it. | ||
| It's like the 15 foot high diving board. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay? | |
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When you're a little kid, that's a long way down. | |
| Then when you hit a young boy, ah, this is nothing. | ||
| I can go 30 feet. | ||
| Then as you get older and older and older, that 15 feet, finally, you're not even walking up the stairs anymore. | ||
| It's the same as a pot. | ||
| A pot has not changed. | ||
| It's impossible to change it. | ||
| It's as strong back then as it is here. | ||
| But you can still get wack weed today. | ||
| Sure, I imagine. | ||
| I've never had it. | ||
| You've never had terrible weed? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's had Labrador before. | |
| I've had my share of bad stuff. | ||
| I haven't had bad weed. | ||
| I think there's a great difference between like really crap weed and really high end weed. | ||
| How much of it back in the day, like when you were doing those Cheech and Chong movies, how much of it was like high grade? | ||
| Was it hard to get high grade stuff? | ||
| Not really. | ||
| No, the Vietnam War took care of all the high-grade. | ||
| Really? | ||
| We were getting Thai stick, Thai weed. | ||
| And that's like a sativa, right? | ||
| Oh, a sativa. | ||
| Yeah, that's the really powerful intellectual weed. | ||
| Put you on your butt. | ||
| Put you on your ass and make you think about the universe. | ||
| But it makes the brain work. | ||
| I love the sativa. | ||
| I mean, it's very creative, all the good weed. | ||
| That's one of the really unfortunate things about the fact that it's illegal, that most people don't even know what the difference is. | ||
| They don't even know that an indica is much more of a sleepy, sedative sort of a feeling, much more relaxing, but a sativa is a totally different trip. | ||
| It's almost like a totally different drug. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It looks the same, it smells similar, but it's a completely different... | ||
| And figure it out. | ||
| Figure this out, man. | ||
| I mean, I've got cancer. | ||
| You can't get any worse than cancer. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And all that weed does for you, it cures, it kills cancer cells. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| It just blows me away. | ||
| It's hard to wrap your head around it, really. | ||
| I mean, it's something that you can bring up every day because it almost makes no sense. | ||
| You get repetitive after a while because it's so ridiculous that it's illegal. | ||
| When you stop and look at it, it's like, this is a magical plant. | ||
| You can eat it. | ||
| It's really good for you. | ||
| You smoke it. | ||
| It gets you high. | ||
| You can wear it. | ||
| Yeah, you can wear it. | ||
| It makes the best cloth ever. | ||
| You can live underneath it. | ||
| You can make plywood out of it. | ||
| It's fucking waterproof. | ||
| It's crazy how good it is. | ||
| It's probably the best cellulose plant there is. | ||
| Yeah, you make plastic out of it. | ||
| You can make plastic out of it. | ||
|
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Healthy plastic. | |
| Healthy plastic. | ||
| Biodegradable plastic. | ||
| Plastic bags that don't clog up the planet. | ||
| Yeah, people don't realize that plastic can be made from plant matter. | ||
| It can be made from hemp. | ||
| One of the reasons why hemp was also made illegal was that it was at the same time where DuPont was coming up with a chemical compound for nylon. | ||
| For nylon, yeah. | ||
| And most ropes up to that date had been made out of hemp. | ||
| Hemp is an incredible fiber. | ||
| Hemp is the best rope. | ||
| Oh, by the way, do you sell your ropes? | ||
| Are they hemp? | ||
| I don't know what the fuck they are. | ||
| You should check it out. | ||
| I should. | ||
| They should be hemp, right? | ||
| They should be hemp. | ||
| We should try to get them hemp. | ||
| Because they're a better grip. | ||
| They're a better grip. | ||
| Giant ropes from a shipyard. | ||
| You want to grip leather anyway. | ||
| The leather's at the end of them. | ||
| Oh, but I like that. | ||
| Oh, you like the fiber? | ||
| The rope feel. | ||
| Yeah, it doesn't slip out of your hand. | ||
| It's a great workout. | ||
| Have you done it? | ||
| Oh, I do it all the time. | ||
| Do you do battle ropes? | ||
| Oh, that's awesome, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So does my wife, Shelby. | ||
| Tommy motherfucking Chong throwing down some battle ropes. | ||
|
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Oh, yeah. | |
| Not at all. | ||
| Big body movements are so important for health and for your body's actual ability to work and move. | ||
| Well, that was one of the reasons, you know, back in the day when Arnold Schwarzenegger lit up a joint, you know, I said, this is all the proof anybody needs. | ||
| Here's a guy that's really the best built man in the world. | ||
| In the world. | ||
| Period. | ||
| Seven times. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Six, seven times. | ||
| And he's getting high. | ||
| And here's a guy that he'd spit out something if he thought it had sugar in it or something. | ||
| He would spit it out if he took a drink or a bite of something. | ||
| He's so careful about what he puts in his body. | ||
| No alcohol. | ||
| Forget all that. | ||
| But... | ||
| A joint? | ||
| Pass it over here, man. | ||
| Arnold gets high. | ||
| He must have figured that out when he was young. | ||
| I wonder when he figured that out. | ||
| Well, everybody figures it out the same way. | ||
| Everybody asks me, you know, how did you get turned on to pot? | ||
| You know, no, what kind of drugs do you take? | ||
| And I say, anything given to me by a naked lady. | ||
|
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Awfully. | |
| I'd smoked pot only a handful of times in my life, maybe half a dozen, until I was 30. And then when I was 30, a friend of mine got me high, and I had a completely bad perception of the effects of marijuana. | ||
| I thought it made you lazy. | ||
| I thought it was just something that sedated you. | ||
| I thought it was something that made you slow and stupid. | ||
| And I wasn't interested in that. | ||
| And even though I had one experience to the contrary, when I was living with my friend Jimmy DiTilio, and he had a friend that was a big pothead, and we all decided to smoke some pot together. | ||
| I could never smoke pot. | ||
| I needed a Jimmy. | ||
| So we got high, and then I'm like, Jesus Christ, man, I've got to drive to a gig. | ||
| It was like two hours later, still baked out of my fucking head. | ||
| And I had never gotten high before. | ||
| And you had to do the gig. | ||
| Yeah, maybe two or three other times in my whole life before then, right? | ||
| And only usually when I had a couple of drinks in me. | ||
| So I have to drive and do this gig and I'm shitting my pants. | ||
| I'm like, I can't do my comedy high. | ||
| First of all, the audience is going to know I'm high. | ||
| I was only 21 or 22 and I had the best set I've ever had up to that point. | ||
| I was like, this is crazy. | ||
| I've never been so smooth. | ||
| Relaxed. | ||
| Yeah, relaxed. | ||
| Focused on what I'm actually saying. | ||
| Totally in the moment. | ||
| Totally in the moment. | ||
| I was like, that's incredible. | ||
| And I was like, they can't because of the weed. | ||
| I was so scared to try it again. | ||
| I never tried it again. | ||
| But I remember thinking that, like, wow. | ||
| I was like, dude, you just got lucky, okay? | ||
| If you went on stage an hour earlier, you would have fucking shit all over yourself on there. | ||
| Because I was shaky back then. | ||
| I wasn't very good. | ||
|
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So I would bomb a lot. | |
| I would bomb like one out of every five times. | ||
| It would not go well. | ||
| So I was really not looking forward to this not working out while I was high. | ||
| But it was the best set I had ever had up to that point. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| Cheech and I, when we first got together, I had an acting group, Topless Bar, with the dancers. | ||
| I had them acting. | ||
| Topless actors? | ||
| Yeah, the girls that would go naked. | ||
| I'm thinking of doing one here, but it's a lot of work. | ||
| What's a lot of work? | ||
| Dealing with the Topless Girls? | ||
| Dealing with anybody. | ||
| You're doing a podcast, aren't you? | ||
| I am. | ||
| Yeah, I'm starting one in September. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| In fact, you can catch me on at Tommy Chong and Cheech and Chong, all those. | ||
| Well, let us know when that's taking place and we'll tweet it and pump it up and get everybody to listen in. | ||
| I think that's awesome. | ||
| What was I saying? | ||
| I forgot. | ||
| I forgot too. | ||
| I forgot. | ||
| We were talking about bodybuilders, smoking marijuana. | ||
| It's obviously not bad for you. | ||
| We were basically the company points that we're supposed to be... | ||
| Did you hear this Dr. Drew shit, man? | ||
| Dr. Drew got caught. | ||
| The pharmaceutical company had paid him to encourage use of certain antidepressants as a out of... | ||
| He got caught? | ||
| Yeah, he got caught. | ||
| They gave him $270-something thousand dollars. | ||
| And he was supposed to talk about the talking points of the positive sexual side effects of Wellbutrin. | ||
| Because, like, a girl would call up and say she just changed her pills to Welputrin, and now she's having, like, 10 orgasms a day, and Dr. Drew, like, telling that that is one of the possible symptoms. | ||
| And, like, he's like, he actually said the talking points. | ||
| How did he get busted? | ||
| I guess the company just lost a big lawsuit. | ||
| They just lost, they got a $3 billion-something-dollar judgment against them. | ||
| So, in the process of that, they had to release their paperwork. | ||
| And in releasing their paperwork, apparently Dr. Drew was a recipient of more than a quarter million dollars from them. | ||
| It's scary, man. | ||
| I like Dr. Drew, man. | ||
| That guy needs a joint. | ||
| You know, you get a little crazy. | ||
| He's uptight. | ||
| He's way uptight and ridiculous. | ||
| And he's got a lot of tics. | ||
| You notice those tics. | ||
| Do you know him personally? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, I know him. | ||
| I like him. | ||
| I like him a lot. | ||
| I've done his radio show a couple times. | ||
| I like him a lot. | ||
| But he gets silly. | ||
| He said to me, he said to me, he's having trouble with an ex-chapper. | ||
| I said, what kind of trouble? | ||
| He said, well, he's accusing me of sexual harassment. | ||
| I said, get a lawyer. | ||
| Dr. Drew. | ||
| So then Cheech and I were on the show, and Dr. Drew said to me, I took your advice, Tom. | ||
| I got a lawyer. | ||
|
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And Cheech looked at me like, what's going on here? | |
| Fill me in. | ||
| We never did fill him in. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| I hate to hear that, man. | ||
| But see, that's the American way. | ||
| Well, it's also, guess what? | ||
| Everybody needs something to put them in check. | ||
| If you're not doing yoga and meditating and taking some time to yourself, you're going to get caught up in one way or the other, the wrong fucking path. | ||
| Somehow or another, you're going to trip up. | ||
| When you're Captain Clean out there, wearing a fucking tie every day and pretending you do no evil, that shit, by the way, is going to chew at the back of your brain. | ||
| You've committed yourself to this crazy, unreal life where you're not going to get fucked up. | ||
| You can't do shots with your friends. | ||
| You can't go to a strip club and go, oh shit, you can't do that. | ||
| You're not allowed to. | ||
| You're not an honest human. | ||
| You're a creation. | ||
| Phony friends. | ||
| And he needs a little fucking, everybody needs a little humbling, like a natural humbling. | ||
| That's what marijuana does to you. | ||
| It's a little natural humbling. | ||
| Is that going to take him off his show, do you think? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, hopefully he'll be acquitted. | ||
| I like him. | ||
| I hope he didn't do it. | ||
| I hope it's not true. | ||
| I hope if it is true, it makes sense. | ||
| Is there charges? | ||
| Yeah, I believe they're investigating it. | ||
| I don't know the full extent of it. | ||
| It's just been in the news lately. | ||
| But like I said, I like Dr. Drew. | ||
| He's not a bad guy. | ||
|
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|
Me too. | |
| It's just that these people, they have this idea that they're protecting people from something. | ||
| Here's the stance. | ||
| It's not just, well, I'm fine with that. | ||
| If you want to smoke pot, that's what he always says. | ||
| I'm fine with that. | ||
| If you want to get high, go get high. | ||
| This is what I'm saying. | ||
| It can change your fucking life, and for the better. | ||
| It can make you a warmer, more compassionate person. | ||
| It makes you closer to your friends and your loved ones. | ||
| It makes you appreciate your dog more. | ||
| It makes food taste better. | ||
| It makes sex feel better. | ||
| This is ridiculous. | ||
| The idea that you would just poo-poo it and say, well, if you want to go get high. | ||
| It's not that, man. | ||
| It's something that can enhance you. | ||
| But you see what he's doing. | ||
| He's got one foot on the boat, one foot on the shore, and there's a liquor... | ||
| And he's trying to be a celebrity at the same time. | ||
| Yeah, there's a liquor... | ||
| What do you call it? | ||
| Civilization. | ||
| We're coming out of it. | ||
| We're coming out of the alcohol civilization. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| We're coming out of it, yeah. | ||
| You think it's ever possible to get out of it? | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| People like to get drunk. | ||
| Oh, they like to do shots and everything else. | ||
| But you look at the movie Ted, and the biggest laugh and the biggest thing was when the little teddy bear was doing a big bong hit. | ||
| That is one thing that is most certainly changing. | ||
| It's becoming more acceptable. | ||
| When you were doing those albums, did you guys get hassled by cops? | ||
| Did it ever become a factor in your life? | ||
| We got one hassle. | ||
| We got arrested in Tampa, Florida. | ||
| That was where Jim Morrison got arrested for showing his wiener. | ||
| Janis Joplin got arrested there. | ||
|
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Wasn't Cheech's dad a cop? | |
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And so we were doing our show and we just did our regular show but we didn't know there was a $5,000 performance bond posted and that if the cops were called in for any reason The promoter would lose a $5,000 bond. | ||
| And so at the end of the show, we were doing a bit called The Dogs where Cheech and I were running around our hands and knees. | ||
| And Cheech walked over to a cop and he picked up his hat. | ||
| The cop was facing out to the audience in case the audience would riot or something. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| And that's all he did. | ||
| And the cops said, that's it. | ||
| We're arresting Cheech and Chong. | ||
| And they arrested us. | ||
| And took us to jail and gave us some mug shots. | ||
| Good mug shots. | ||
| You like them? | ||
| Did you use them for anything? | ||
| Like t-shirts? | ||
| I think they're on the t-shirts now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're really good mug shots. | ||
| It shows two guys. | ||
| But Cheech was funny, man. | ||
| Because we're in this cell. | ||
| First of all, we're Cheech and Chong. | ||
| We just got off the stage. | ||
| 5,000 people, you know, going crazy. | ||
| Next thing you know, we're being herded into a holding cell. | ||
| And it was weird. | ||
| It was like going to the green room, only it's a holding cell. | ||
| And there's all the drunks and everybody. | ||
| There's one old Chicano guy there, you know, and he asked Cheech in Spanish, you know, what are you in here for? | ||
| And Cheech, you know, he didn't want to say, you know, we're lifting a cop's hat with his teeth. | ||
|
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So he said, drugs, man. | |
| And so the old Chicano and Spanish goes, oh, tell him a black guy sent it to you. | ||
| Tell him a black guy gave it to you. | ||
| That was his thing. | ||
| And so then the cop would come by, you know, big, big white, like a stormtrooper kind of cop would walk by, and he didn't give a shit who we were. | ||
| And then there's the old picture. | ||
| And then Cheech and I... We're not sitting down because we think we're going to get out of jail real quick. | ||
| But then a lot of time went by and pretty soon I'm not only sitting, but I'm looking for a pillow because I'm tired. | ||
| And Cheech is still standing around. | ||
| And then the cop walks over and he says to Cheech, did you come with me? | ||
| And Gigi goes, my dad's a cop. | ||
| Did I tell you? | ||
| Yeah, my dad's a LAPD. Yeah, I've been 30 years, you know, 20 years. | ||
| It was funny. | ||
| I laughed. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| They separated us. | ||
| And then, a few hours later, we went and that's what we looked like. | ||
| Is that a trip? | ||
| Look, folks who are listening to this on iTunes, we're looking at a video of Cheech and Chung that looks like from the 60s, right? | ||
|
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|
It's 1974. Wow, it's all black and white. | |
| Wow, 74. They didn't have color TV in 74? | ||
| Yeah, you guys actually have a really good website, chichinchongfans.com, which just is updated all the time, which I really like. | ||
| And they posted this recently on there, and there's a lot of different interviews and videos on there. | ||
| Oh, chichinchongfans. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, I love that. | ||
| That's very cool. | ||
| Isn't that one of the coolest things about the internet? | ||
| Is it fan-created stuff that they make for you? | ||
| Does that still blow you away? | ||
| We've taken over the world, man. | ||
| We've literally, you know, starting with Egypt, Libya, you know, the internet has taken over the world. | ||
| The internet is a fascinating thing, isn't it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Look at this! | ||
| Yeah, look at this, yeah. | ||
| Don't you love, like, the fan-generated stuff that they make for you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| Things like people that put up websites like chichanchongfans.com. | ||
| Isn't that amazing? | ||
| Now that you mentioned it, I got you a present here. | ||
| These are... | ||
| Not-a-pipes. | ||
| Not-a-pipes? | ||
| Not-a-pipes. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| They're necklace. | ||
| They're not a pipe. | ||
| You don't pull the string out. | ||
| Oh, it's not a pipe. | ||
| You don't pull the string out. | ||
| I thought it was like a type of pipe. | ||
| Yeah, it's not a pipe. | ||
| You don't pull the string out. | ||
| You don't put the substance in this part here. | ||
| Okay, you don't do that. | ||
| And you don't light it. | ||
| You don't light it. | ||
| And you don't smoke out of it. | ||
| Smoke out of the sand. | ||
| Okay, you don't do that. | ||
| Because it's not a pipe. | ||
| It's not a pipe. | ||
| It's a necklace. | ||
| I got it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's awesome. | |
| It's not a pipe. | ||
| And it's yours, Joe. | ||
| I'll bring you one, man. | ||
| Oh, thank you, man. | ||
| I didn't... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thanks. | |
| There's going to be an extra... | ||
| What animal had to give up its life so I could have this not a pipe? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Actually, it's just a piece of... | ||
| Antler? | ||
| Driftwood, I found. | ||
| Oh, it's driftwood. | ||
| Root, actually. | ||
| It's off the beach. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Vancouver. | ||
| Oh, so I don't have to feel bad. | ||
| That wasn't like a little... | ||
| Oh, no, no, no. | ||
| ...deer that got shot in the head. | ||
| You got to give me like a Ted Nugent pipe. | ||
| It might be a piece of wood from the tsunami. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Is it... | ||
| It might be. | ||
| It could be someone's house. | ||
| It might be. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| Piece of, probably some kid's toy. | ||
| It's floating around. | ||
| No, it's just a... | ||
| It's from a center cut of a root. | ||
| Awesome, man. | ||
| Thank you very much, brother. | ||
| You're welcome. | ||
| I appreciate it. | ||
| It's so cool. | ||
| Thank you very much, man. | ||
|
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|
When is the Cheech and Chong movie coming out? | |
| I know you had like this animated movie that was... | ||
| It's done. | ||
| It's all finished. | ||
| It's in the can. | ||
| And now they're just figuring out a... | ||
| Release strategy. | ||
| It's an animated movie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| They animated our old bits. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
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It seems like such a good idea, especially since you do so much work on The Simpsons and things like that. | |
| It's a natural. | ||
| I mean, it's a natural way to go, too. | ||
| Imagine Cheech and Chong just doing voiceover work. | ||
| No more road. | ||
| Do you like doing the road every now and then, or is it just too much? | ||
| It's getting too much. | ||
| It's getting too much. | ||
| Is that what you've been doing lately? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Just doing shows? | ||
| Just once in a while. | ||
| Just once in a while. | ||
| Shelby and I, my wife and I go out. | ||
| We went to Denver last month or two months ago. | ||
| And before that, Cheech and I and Shelby. | ||
| Well, when you guys got back together again, that was a pretty big resurgence. | ||
| Oh, big time. | ||
| Two years, three years. | ||
| Three years ago? | ||
| Three years it's been going on. | ||
| Three years. | ||
| And we made a couple million, you know. | ||
| I remember when you guys announced that you were going to do that. | ||
| You guys had made up, and you finally got back together again. | ||
| I was like, holy shit, wow. | ||
| We had made up before. | ||
| Before I went to jail, we were working on a movie. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Oh, that's cool. | ||
| And then I went to jail. | ||
| In fact, we kept working on it with Larry Charles, but a new line pulled out of me. | ||
| For people that don't know, your story of how you got arrested and wound up doing time is one of the most fucked up stories that sort of, in my eyes... | ||
| That epitomizes the insanity of the Bush administration. | ||
| John Ashcroft guy was insane. | ||
| And most people don't know this. | ||
| But if you look online, John Ashcroft singing, have you ever seen him sing? | ||
|
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|
When the eagle soars, like she's never soared before. | |
| Completely batshit crazy. | ||
| Oh, and he covers up the titties, the cement titties? | ||
| Yeah, cement titties. | ||
| He made them cover up statues for the first time in the history of that great building. | ||
| And so people wonder, why weren't you afraid of this guy? | ||
| Because he's a nutcase, you know? | ||
| He was completely bonkers. | ||
| It wasn't my company. | ||
| Somebody sent me an album. | ||
| Some dude from the internet. | ||
| Whoever you are, dude. | ||
| I just want to thank you. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| I totally don't even remember who the guy was. | ||
| But he sent me a fucking album. | ||
| It was an album of John Ashcroft and another guy singing gospel songs. | ||
| And they were just one more horrific and horrifying than the next. | ||
| The more you listened to them, the more you thought of him sweaty and black socks, fucking little boys. | ||
| There's something going on. | ||
| There's a darkness on the other side of this fucking coin. | ||
| This is not coming from a healthy person. | ||
| This is a crazy form of art you're trying to sell me on. | ||
| I like it when they went to his hospital bed when he was sick or something and trying to get him to sign. | ||
| What was it? | ||
| What were they trying to get him to sign? | ||
| A confession or something? | ||
| No, I think it was okay torture or something. | ||
| Oh, Ashcroft? | ||
| Yeah, Ashcroft was the attorney general. | ||
| He wouldn't do it. | ||
| He wouldn't do it. | ||
| I'm not signing that. | ||
| He was a crazy man. | ||
| How about the lady that put me away, Mary Beth Buchanan? | ||
| What was her deal? | ||
| She was a cheerleader in a little town in Pennsylvania where the 9-11 plane went down. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And because she was a prosecutor there, that gave her prominence. | ||
| And they made her the chief of the prosecution. | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| Yeah, she was like the chief prosecutor. | ||
| And the first thing she did was went after the bomb companies and Tommy Chong. | ||
| And by the way, you weren't even selling the bongs. | ||
| Your son was selling them. | ||
| He was making them and selling them, yeah. | ||
| And you didn't even have anything to do with it. | ||
| Well, I'd sign them. | ||
| You'd sign them. | ||
| I'd sign them. | ||
| So that was your job, and they went after you. | ||
| They went after me. | ||
| Well, what they did, they went after the company, which was very, very funny. | ||
| We got that documentary called A.K.A. Tommy Chong. | ||
| I don't know about it. | ||
| Yeah, they tried to, they entrapped us. | ||
| They tried to get us to send the stuff to their place, and we wouldn't do it. | ||
| And finally sent an undercover guy into our company, and then next thing you know, I'm arrested for bongs. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But I'd melt the shit out of it for a while. | |
| It's true, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That really gave you a nice boost once you got out of the pokey. | |
| Wow, I was still doing material. | ||
| And I bring it up in conversations too. | ||
| When I was in jail, one time I was with two judges. | ||
| Two judges at a dinner party. | ||
| And we got to talking and the next thing you know I'm telling them about jail. | ||
| And they're kind of giving me that, oh, shit look. | ||
| Like they shouldn't be talking to me right now? | ||
| I shouldn't be listening to this. | ||
| Every now and then I'll talk to a square dude about getting high. | ||
| You know, and you see the look in their face, looking for the exit. | ||
| Yeah, well, okay, if you want to do it, that's what you're into. | ||
| You know, I like, I'm straight edge. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I like my scotch, or I like my gin, or I like my water. | |
| I don't mind a little boozing, but I don't smoke dope. | ||
| These judges are cool. | ||
| We're friends with them. | ||
| It's very good to have a judge for a friend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can you help me? | |
| I got all kinds of friends. | ||
| You must. | ||
| There's a whole set of different people. | ||
| You're known as being an outlaw, but it's the silliest law of all time. | ||
| I'm kind of like a stoner Paris Hilton. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where they like to have me at a party. | |
| Everybody, we have Tommy Chong here. | ||
| We can all get high now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he's not wearing underwear. | |
| Is it annoying how many people want to get high with you? | ||
| Well, it keeps me from going to places. | ||
| I'd like to do the Playboy Mansion pot thing every year, but I can't do it, man. | ||
| Too many fans. | ||
| Too many people want to get high with you? | ||
| Oh, they want to take pictures and lie and tell me stories. | ||
| Just swarm on you. | ||
| And be on their podcast, you know. | ||
| Yeah, like that's how you're here, man. | ||
| It's fun being Tommy John. | ||
| Do you smoke pot with strangers? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, me neither. | ||
| No. | ||
| If I don't know people, it's too much risk. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| I tell people I quit smoking pot. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And I usually don't... | ||
| I have to really know where the source of the weed is from before. | ||
| I'll accept it. | ||
| Then I'll give it to friends of mine. | ||
| Tell them, this is where I got this shit. | ||
| It's exactly what I do. | ||
| There's certain people that I get high with that I know, but it's unfortunate. | ||
| I know one guy that definitely came up to me that was a cop in Cleveland. | ||
| I'm positive. | ||
| I just knew something was going on. | ||
| You know, he was asking me where I could get DMT. And the way he was asked, he had a crew cut on, he looked like he trained, he did MMA, and I'm looking at this dude and I'm like, you want what? | ||
| Strange guy that looks like a cop asking me where to get illegal drugs? | ||
| What the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| I once had two cops work their ass off for me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was funny. | |
| I had a nightclub in Canada, where Cheech and I met. | ||
| And then I had two nightclubs, and then one got closed down and so on. | ||
| They sold the building, so then I moved. | ||
| I had a back room, you know, so I was fixing up a back room to take over the other club. | ||
| Next thing I know, I got two, a man and a girl with headbands. | ||
| They come up the stairs and they're like, they're not hippies by no means. | ||
| The headbands look like a costume, look like they're going trick-or-treating. | ||
| They're like, this is how they dress. | ||
| We need this to fit in. | ||
| So he said, so what's going on up here? | ||
| I said, I'm just putting a club together. | ||
| He said, need some help? | ||
| I said, yeah, actually I do. | ||
| And so, okay. | ||
| So they're helping, you know. | ||
| What were you thinking this time? | ||
| I'm looking at them thinking, well, I could use the help. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| I'm not going to pay them anything, you know. | ||
| Maybe let them in the club later. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Free, you know. | ||
| So they're moving tables and washing floors. | ||
| Wow, it's so weird. | ||
| They just show up and start working. | ||
| Yeah, and they're working, and good workers too. | ||
| The more I look at them, the more I say, these aren't hippies. | ||
| Because hippies will hide behind a wall to see if they're working. | ||
| Okay, I'm out of here. | ||
| So they worked, and then we had a little break. | ||
| We're sitting around talking. | ||
| So I said, where are you from? | ||
| Oh, they're from Saskatchewan. | ||
| Been out here long? | ||
| Oh, a couple of days. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So, um, so, um, have you ever got high? | |
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get high all the time. | ||
| I said, well, ever done acid? | ||
| They said, yeah, oh, yeah, I love acid, yeah. | ||
| I said, well, tell me about your first acid trip. | ||
| The guy goes, I don't remember. | ||
| He said, I said, just a minute. | ||
| I gotta go to the bathroom. | ||
| I went to the bathroom. | ||
| I did a little dance. | ||
| They're cops! | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're cops! | |
| They're fucking cops! | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| And so I went back. | ||
| I said, well, let's get to work. | ||
| We got a lot of work to do here. | ||
| So you just put them to work. | ||
| Say, scrub the floor, man. | ||
| I had them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They were fucking, their headbands were soaking wet with sweat, man. | |
| They were just, I worked their ass off. | ||
| And then I got on the phone, I phoned everybody I knew, you know, because we used to sell, the door lady used to sell weed right at the door. | ||
| That's the kind of club it was. | ||
| So then the club filled up, and they stayed the whole time. | ||
| They didn't go home and change or anything. | ||
| They got their little headbands on. | ||
| Or did they change? | ||
| No, I think they did change. | ||
| They went home. | ||
| They said, okay, we'll see you back later. | ||
| And then they come sat together and they looked like recruits. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They looked like recruits. | |
| I mean, they were so, so, so out of place. | ||
| And I told everybody, everybody would walk by them like they were on display. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They just walked by, look at the cops, look at that, and walked by. | |
| That is hilarious. | ||
| So everybody kept an eye on them, and if you wanted to smoke weed, you just made sure you knew where the cops were? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, well, first of all, you don't do anything, you know, they're cops, so no one does anything. | ||
| So no one did anything, everybody just stayed clear. | ||
| And the lady, you know, all of a sudden, it was the cleanest club in town. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| So now, at the end, did you ever let them know that you knew there were cops? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh no. | |
| No, no. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Don't give that up. | ||
| How'd you end the night? | ||
| Well, they just left. | ||
| They just left. | ||
| They couldn't make a connection, and they knew they got spotted. | ||
| You know, I'm cool, and a few people are cool, but there's a lot of people that, hey, they're fucking cops, man. | ||
| Oh, you imagine how paranoid they would have been if you got them high? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| I never thought of that. | ||
| I'm kind of glad, though, because I didn't want to get arrested. | ||
| Yeah, but what if you made them smoke weed first? | ||
| What if you said something like, listen, man, I got this thing. | ||
| I wonder what they would do. | ||
| Like, I don't know you, so if I don't know you, you got to smoke the weed first. | ||
| And then the guy smokes weed, and you're like, I'll smoke the weed later, but you got to smoke the weed first. | ||
| Can you imagine what that would be like? | ||
| Yeah, you get them high? | ||
| Get them high as fuck. | ||
| Especially if they don't get high. | ||
| But they didn't test guys' blood and shit back then, did they? | ||
| No, they didn't know how to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Now they test people who work at UPS. I was in jail with a bunch of UPS guys. | |
| They got caught? | ||
| Selling weed? | ||
| They were the Jamaican connection. | ||
| Oh, they were bringing it over from Jamaica? | ||
| All black guys, all black guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And they're all UPS. Yeah, FedEx and UPS, yeah. | |
| Why else would you want to work so hard for UPS? They had a whole connection. | ||
| That's what I'm saying, you know. | ||
| That's why, you know, just legalize this shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We can figure out how to grow it, pack it, move it. | |
| Well, we're suppressed, and we're just accepting the fact that we're suppressed. | ||
| It's people, they don't realize how much of a suppression it really is. | ||
| Welcome to the slave. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A world of color. | ||
| Because that's exactly what pot really turned everybody into. | ||
| We got turned into people of color, like Mexicans and blacks. | ||
| That's why they called it marijuana. | ||
| They never said, oh, they're smuggling hemp across the border. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They named it... | ||
| It was a wild Mexican tobacco, right? | ||
| Wasn't it? | ||
| No, marijuana is just slang for a pot. | ||
| That's all. | ||
| I thought it was originally slang for a wild Mexican tobacco. | ||
| It could be. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I thought it was. | ||
| But that could be horseshit, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Could be. | ||
| But that was one of the ways William Randolph Hearst had actually made it illegal, was telling people that Mexicans and blacks were taken. | ||
| You're not making this up, but there were actually stories in the newspaper, in the Hearst publications, that said there's a new drug, it's called marijuana, and these... | ||
| Mexicans and blacks are taking it and they're fucking all the white women. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Makes them horny for white women. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| They use the same argument with heroin. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And cocaine. | ||
| Except the cocaine and heroin was also the Chinese opium. | ||
| See, they've just made a faulty connection, but their logic is sound. | ||
| At the bottom end of it is everybody wants to fuck white women. | ||
| So they just attributed everybody wanting to fuck white women to all sorts of shit. | ||
| Vitamin C makes you want to fuck white women. | ||
| Look, they're eating oranges and fucking these girls. | ||
| That was my line for years, you know, because when I was a musician, I ended up in a black band. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I played for Motown, wrote songs, and I tell people on stage, I got so black, I ended up marrying a white woman. | ||
| Was that where marijuana was most prominent in the early days? | ||
| Was it in the jazz culture? | ||
| The jazz. | ||
| Reaper. | ||
| How about a stick? | ||
| A T. How would they get that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
A stick of T. How would they get that? | |
| Puerto Ricans, probably. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Mexico. | ||
| I mean, if you're in L.A., Any Chicano on the street corner would sell you anything. | ||
| You could get a pound for ten dollars or two dollars. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A lot of it would be dirt. | ||
| Put some rocks in there? | ||
| No, they do everything. | ||
| Back in the day. | ||
| And then the dealers or the guys would break it down and roll little pinners, little tiny joints and sell them for a buck apiece. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And they barely got you high, right? | ||
| Just nice. | ||
| Just nice. | ||
| Especially if you're a musician, you know. | ||
| You don't want to be incoherent, you know. | ||
| Take a couple of hits, oh, just get that edge, you know, and then boom. | ||
| That's exactly what it is. | ||
| You can definitely go too deep, though. | ||
| Yeah, and isn't it funny? | ||
| I've never heard heroin addicts say that. | ||
| I've never heard cocaine addicts say that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, man. | |
| Heroin addicts. | ||
| You ever talk to someone who's in the middle of heroin and they just love it? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They just love it? | ||
| It's a weird feeling to think that there's something that can make you feel so good, but it's so bad for you. | ||
| Well, what it is, this is my definition of a heroin high. | ||
| It's really, you've died. | ||
| That's the feeling of death. | ||
| You've had it? | ||
| No. | ||
| This is what I think it is. | ||
| This is why they go back to it all the time. | ||
| Because for that few seconds, because basically it is. | ||
| It gets less and less as you get older. | ||
| As your body becomes immune to it. | ||
| Then it becomes, what do they call it, chasing the dragon? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Well, you never get it. | ||
| You never get enough. | ||
| You never get enough. | ||
| But that first time. | ||
| But the first time, that warmness that comes over you, it's that feeling. | ||
| To me, it's the feeling of what Michael Jackson was looking for. | ||
| He was looking for that feeling. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, and that's what heroin addicts want. | ||
| They want that peaceful, calm, gentle, sweet, whoa, everything makes sense, you know, the notes are so big you can just touch them and, you know, and that's what, and when you're making love, oh, I mean, there's, there's, what do you call it, ecstasy, after ecstasy, it just goes on and on and on. | ||
| But the second or third time your body starts You need more and more and more. | ||
| In other words, your body shuts down. | ||
| It is a poison. | ||
| It really is a poison. | ||
| What a weird poison. | ||
| It wants to get into your system and in return it gives you unbelievable feelings of love as it breaks your body down. | ||
| Is it that or is it just that it stimulates these unbelievable feelings of love and they force your body to do things that are totally unnatural because of these chemicals in the system? | ||
| And then the downside is you crash hard afterwards and you need it again to balance out. | ||
| The downside is you get sick. | ||
| You literally get sick. | ||
| You get cramps. | ||
| You throw up. | ||
| You get nauseous. | ||
| Your body is going through all kinds of changes. | ||
| I had a friend that came to visit me in LA and I didn't know it at the time but when he came here he was trying to kick it. | ||
| So as he got to my house, he was sick for like a whole week. | ||
| The dude never got out of bed, just laid around all day. | ||
| He had the flu. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wouldn't tell me what was wrong with him, but I mean, that's what he did. | ||
| That's how he kicked it. | ||
| It was a terrible thing to watch, right? | ||
| In jail, more people with Oxycontin. | ||
| The whole jail was filled with them. | ||
| I got gout when I was in jail, so they give you this Purinol, some kind of shit for it. | ||
| And my gout got cured real fast and I had a whole shitload of medicine. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And the guy, the pill freak across the way, he goes, hey, you want to sell that? | ||
| You want to sell that? | ||
| No, you can have it, man. | ||
| Oh, hey, thank you, man. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| How hard is it to get drugs in jail? | ||
| Well, the trouble with drugs, you can get anything in jail, but you get tested. | ||
| If you're a target, you know, with me. | ||
| I got offered to join every day. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And I got tested almost every day. | ||
| Do you think the people were trying to set you up? | ||
| Oh, totally. | ||
| That was their job. | ||
| They got nothing else to do. | ||
| Let's fuck with Tommy Chong. | ||
| Let's get a headliner due here. | ||
| How bad was Joe? | ||
| What was the experience like? | ||
| It was good. | ||
| It was like going to camp. | ||
| It was a camp. | ||
| It was like Boy Scouts or Army Cadets. | ||
| I was an Army Cadet, so it was like going to Army Cadet camp with old people. | ||
| They had me in an old dormitory. | ||
| But it was a chalk line around the perimeter and you couldn't step over that chalk line or you'd get yelled at. | ||
| Get your ass over there. | ||
| What are you doing over there? | ||
| But actually, it was like a spiritual... | ||
| For me, it turned into a spiritual retreat. | ||
| Because I took some books in there, including the Bible, and I really started a search for... | ||
| Yeah, I'm here. | ||
| It's a monastery. | ||
| Might as well use it. | ||
| And so I did. | ||
| I read a lot. | ||
| How long were you in jail for? | ||
| Nine months. | ||
| I'll tell you how long nine months is. | ||
| Those tubes of toothpaste, the big ones? | ||
| Three. | ||
| Three? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That's a long time. | ||
| That's a long fucking time. | ||
| Doesn't it? | ||
| It seems like one will last forever, doesn't it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I went through three of them. | ||
| That's a long fucking time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's almost a year of life. | ||
| Brushing my teeth every day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It wasn't to brush your teeth to get something bad out of your mouth. | |
| It's constantly blowing, guys. | ||
| Bought a toothpaste. | ||
| Got an ass-eating. | ||
| Want to stay healthy. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| I got hit on one time. | ||
| One time? | ||
|
unidentified
|
One time. | |
| Actually, I never got, not in jail, but I never got hit on once in jail. | ||
| Really? | ||
| No, two weeks. | ||
| Did you see any rape? | ||
| I saw the barber was gay. | ||
| The barber? | ||
| The barber. | ||
| The guy who cut hair. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How much did it cost to watch? | |
| Was he an inmate or an employee? | ||
| He was an inmate. | ||
| Everybody's an inmate. | ||
| There's no employee. | ||
| People who work there, right. | ||
| The employees are the guards that have to wear their uniform in the scorching hot sun and like the River Kwai, you know, one of those things. | ||
| We're laying out there getting suntan and the guards are walking around. | ||
| Every once in a while I say, could you bring me some suntan lotion please? | ||
| And the guards say, what? | ||
| Oh never mind, never mind. | ||
| I thought you were someone else. | ||
| Were they nice to you ever, the guards? | ||
| Oh no, they were real nice. | ||
| In fact, they had a law, they had a rule, a Tommy Chong, no pitchers but Tommy Chong rule. | ||
| And one first day I was there, a guy, a guard named Gonzales, Next thing you know, he's in my cubicle. | ||
| Hey, John, I'm a big fan. | ||
| I love you guys. | ||
| I go back, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| And so then I was on the phone. | ||
| First time I got, I wasn't allowed on the phone for two weeks. | ||
| And then I finally got on the phone. | ||
| I phoned my wife, you know, and we're talking. | ||
| She said, how was it? | ||
| And I said, ah, not bad. | ||
| A guard came by my cubicle and he was real nice, you know, big fan. | ||
| And so then hung up the phone and Five minutes later, Chong, report to Central. | ||
| Command Control. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Chong! | |
| So, I go down to Command Control. | ||
| Alright, who was the guard that came and said hello to you? | ||
| And he says, I don't know. | ||
| They all look alike to me. | ||
| Was he Mexican? | ||
| I never really saw his face, sir. | ||
| And then they gave up on me on that one. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, they're looking for snitches. | ||
| Jails are run entirely by snitches. | ||
| They have a snitch culture. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, that's why a lot of guys get a lot of time. | ||
| And what they do, the jails can bargain with the ones with a lot of time. | ||
| We'll knock off time if you give up people. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| That seems like that should not be fair. | ||
| That's cheating. | ||
| The whole jail system is cheating. | ||
| Because you're going to coerce people to do things. | ||
| The whole jail system is cheating. | ||
| Well, the whole fact that it's privatized. | ||
| That's terrifying, isn't it? | ||
| It is. | ||
| And the jails are really run by inmates. | ||
| I mean, the guards have some control, but especially the camps. | ||
| If there's a hint of violence, you're out of there. | ||
| And if you even look like you want to be violent, they'll get you out of there. | ||
| Because they had old women guards, people that weren't going to hurt anybody. | ||
| They were your guards walking around with their uniforms and stuff on. | ||
| But I got into the Indian sweat lodge society. | ||
| And that took a weekend, you know. | ||
| We'd start Saturday, and then sweat Saturday, and then have to clean up the place Sunday. | ||
| And you do this while in jail? | ||
| Yeah, we had an Indian grounds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| And it faced away. | ||
| At the jail? | ||
| At the jail, in the camp. | ||
| They still do. | ||
| It's mandated that the Native American Indians have their form of worship. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| And their form of worship is a sweat lodge. | ||
| So every jail has a sweat lodge? | ||
| Every federal prison in America. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| That is fascinating! | ||
| They had to go to court to do it. | ||
| And some are better than others, and some are very bare bones. | ||
| But we had a phenomenal place. | ||
| The guy had been in there for I don't know how many years. | ||
| He took care of the grounds. | ||
| Maybe 15 years, something like that. | ||
| But he gathered rocks. | ||
| There's a desert, it's a desert, so he got rocks and he had little fences made, and then he had an area there for the sweat lodge itself, you know, it's all packed earth, and then it's like a teepee, you know? | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| Or a Hogan. | ||
| And then they covered, ours was covered with plastic and rain stuff, you know? | ||
| And then they had a big bonfire next to it. | ||
| That's what really attracted me was the bonfire. | ||
| We had fire in prison. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| All weekend. | ||
| And what they would do, they'd leave us alone. | ||
| Every weekend? | ||
| Every weekend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I'll be an Indian like that. | ||
| In a minute. | ||
| First of all, it's not an Indian. | ||
| How stupid is it we still use the term Indian? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| I mean, God damn it's dumb. | ||
| That's the last, what were they, the last Chinaman. | ||
| One huge mistake from 1492 and we're still calling them Indians. | ||
| And the guy that did it was such a... | ||
| Piece of shit. | ||
| We celebrate the day, Columbus Day. | ||
| He's a goddamn serial killer. | ||
| Yeah, they did horrific things. | ||
| When you hear about what his soldiers did to the children of these Native Americans, dashing babies' heads on rocks. | ||
| Horrific stories. | ||
| Just bloodbath. | ||
| So the Native Americans. | ||
| And there was maybe a half of one in our camp. | ||
| In fact, his name. | ||
| I forgot his name. | ||
| It'll come to me. | ||
| Anyway, he was head of the thing. | ||
| He was an old biker, ex-biker, been incarcerated most of his life. | ||
| David Aiello. | ||
| David Aiello. | ||
| He wore a headband. | ||
| When you join the Sweat Lodge Society, you're allowed to wear headbands, like a gang thing. | ||
| The headband came really low around his eyes. | ||
| He wouldn't talk to anybody. | ||
| He worked in his Indian grounds, period. | ||
| That's all he had to do. | ||
| That's badass! | ||
| So he wasn't even really doing time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| He was doing a different kind of time. | ||
| Once you get that, because the Indian grounds faced away from the prison. | ||
| So it was like you're on the grounds and you're looking right out into the desert. | ||
| And the desert was a magical place. | ||
| The desert had packs of wild dogs. | ||
| We were close to Bakersfield, a few miles, maybe 15-20 miles from Bakersfield. | ||
| And people would drop off puppies and unwanted dogs or just strays and just kick them out into the desert. | ||
| And the dogs packed up. | ||
| And the leader of this one pack was a big Rottweiler. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| And they had everything from little poodles to big-ass Rottweilers to German Shepherds, all kinds. | ||
| That one dog, the real vicious looking one? | ||
| Anyway, short hair, Doberman. | ||
| Yeah, there's a Doberman. | ||
| And what they would do, there's a shitload of wild rabbits out in Taft. | ||
| And at night, they would come on the lawns, like hundreds, probably thousands of rabbits would come out and feed. | ||
| And the dogs would jack them? | ||
| Well, the dogs, they never come to the camp at all. | ||
| They would never even come close. | ||
| But what they would do, we watched them from the Indian grounds. | ||
| There's bramble bushes, you know, clumps of thorny bushes. | ||
| And the dogs would chase the rabbit into the bush. | ||
| And then the little poodle would go in and boot them out. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And the big ones would be waiting at the exit. | ||
| So they had a whole strategy. | ||
| Oh, they had a strategy. | ||
| Man, they were so brilliant. | ||
| And we tried. | ||
| And we also had wild ground squirrels. | ||
| And you'd feed them by hand. | ||
| And the ground squirrels, a whole, almost as many ground squirrels as there were prisoners. | ||
| And we'd walk around this track and take the food that they tried to feed us and feed it to the ground squirrels. | ||
| And the ground squirrels got fat. | ||
| One got so fat couldn't get back down his hole. | ||
| And then to keep the ground squirrel population down, hawks, they had these beautiful hawks way up in the light tower. | ||
| And they would sit there And they'd watch the ground squirrels. | ||
| And everyone went, wow, the ground squirrels would be looking up. | ||
| And they always had a lookout. | ||
| And they'd do some kind of whistle or something if the hawks were coming down. | ||
| And then they'd go into their holes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow! | |
| And we fed them until they got so fat. | ||
| One got so fat. | ||
| And I hung up with all the bikers, you know, the old Hells Angel types and the old bikers. | ||
| That was my set. | ||
| And we're sitting around and they would play cards and smoke cigarettes outside the dorm. | ||
| And one of the bikers was an electrician. | ||
| And part of his job was keeping all the lights working. | ||
| And the lights where they had the nest was flickering off. | ||
| I guess the nest got Tied it up with some of the wires. | ||
| And so he had to crawl way up, I don't know, 40, 50 feet up to the light tower. | ||
| And he got up there and he says, he found, he found, what do we call it? | ||
| I forget. | ||
| The ground, the fat ground squirrel. | ||
| Fatty. | ||
| They found him dead up there. | ||
| He couldn't get in his hole. | ||
| He got Americanized. | ||
| Yeah, one of the bikers, one of the bikers, you heard the story and he looked at the tower and he goes, Ain't no way in hell that ground squirrel crawled all the way up there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| And he was serious. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| He was serious. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| That guy's put on this earth to dig holes. | ||
| There was some comedy in prison. | ||
| I mean, that was just one of them. | ||
| Are you friends with anybody from jail? | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| You stay in touch? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| One guy is a caddy for Jeff Overton. | ||
| He's a professional golfer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| You watch TV and every once in a while you see Jeff Overton and Eric Larson. | ||
| He was one of the first guys I met when I went there. | ||
| He was doing time for cocaine. | ||
| And what happened, he was just a caddy and he was just buying. | ||
| But the dealer got busted. | ||
| And so the dealer, the cops told the dealer, give us a name and we'll let you go. | ||
| And so the only name she knew was Eric Larson because he was Mark Kalkabecki's caddy at the time. | ||
| And he was the only famous one. | ||
| And so Eric fought it, you know, because he was just a buyer. | ||
| He wasn't a He wasn't a dealer. | ||
| He wasn't distributing or nothing like that. | ||
| And so they told him, if you fight it, you go away 14 years. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he won the first case. | |
| They refiled the charges the next day. | ||
| They refiled the charges. | ||
| Why? | ||
| They charged him with something else. | ||
| Because the feds are assholes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're creepy. | |
| They want to get it done. | ||
| They want to get it done. | ||
| They want to get you. | ||
| They get you. | ||
| And that's the way the whole drug culture is. | ||
| Jail is full of it. | ||
| And so he ended up doing 14 years. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| And his only crime was buying a couple of bags of coke for other golfers. | ||
| That's so sad. | ||
| But anyway, I met him and he was, at the time, he was a brilliant guy. | ||
| He's got two college degrees when he was in prison. | ||
| He was in there for 12 years. | ||
| It's so fucking sad. | ||
| He went to school, and he took advantage of it. | ||
| He learned how to grow grass, and he had a garden. | ||
| He grew his own garden. | ||
| He tried to get me to work out there with him, but my time was too short. | ||
| But I ended up going out to the garden all the time anyway. | ||
| And he would cook for us at night in a microwave. | ||
| And I had the best meals. | ||
| I swear to God. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All fresh garden-grown vegetables. | ||
| No shit. | ||
| It was great. | ||
| It was great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And every once in a while we'd take our- 12 fucking years, man. | |
| Whoever did that is evil. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They belong in jail. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Florida. | |
| Anybody that was a part of that, they belong. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They belong. | |
| They should be removed. | ||
| I helped Eric out because when I met him, he was very bitter. | ||
| Yeah, as you can imagine because he not only went to jail, but he went to the toughest prisons out there and he did his he did rough time for about five years the roughest time ever and And when I met him, you know, he was very bitter and And so I started counseling him a little bit, you know, and telling him, you know, hey, you can't let prison eat you up like that. | ||
| It's just amazing that someone could do something like that to him for nothing, for a personal choice issue. | ||
| Well, the dealer could have saved his ass and said, Why did she turn him in? | ||
| She's a piece of shit. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| She'd just say, you know, bite the bullet and take your time. | ||
| She should rot away. | ||
| But I eventually got to Eric, and then I made friends with a drug counselor. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, big friends. | ||
| I remember when you got out, man. | ||
| I was listening to this interview, and it made me sad because they were testing you, and you couldn't get high, so you'd put yourself in the state of mind, and you could actually even give yourself the munchies, you were saying. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's all mental. | ||
| You can reenact that feeling any time. | ||
| That's why Cheech and Chong are so important to a lot of our people, because you just mentioned her name, and all of a sudden everybody flashes back to when they're high listening, and all of a sudden you've got a whole audience. | ||
| There wasn't that many people from that era that were defined by marijuana, like you guys were. | ||
| I mean, you guys are definitive. | ||
| Like, I know people that would say, let's go cheech and chong it. | ||
| That's what they'd say. | ||
| Like, you know, when they want to go get high, they'd say, let's go cheech and chong it. | ||
| And everybody knew exactly what they were talking about. | ||
| Yeah, there was no compromise. | ||
| We weren't guys, hey, let's get him high, he'll do some funny shit. | ||
| No, that's what I wanted. | ||
| When Cheech and I wrote Up in Smoke, that's exactly what I had in mind. | ||
| In fact, every movie I did, I said, I'm not going to waste a bit of screen time on anything unless It has to do with pot. | ||
| Then we got offered Corsican Brothers. | ||
| At that time, Cheech was ready to split. | ||
| He was ready to leave. | ||
| Cheech says, I don't want to do another pot movie. | ||
| I said, well, why don't we just make this one a non-pot movie? | ||
| Okay, so we did. | ||
| No part in it at all. | ||
| And it's a lot of people's favorite movies. | ||
| But we reached a point where just being Cheech and Jong was all we needed to be. | ||
| We didn't have this movie joint or anything. | ||
| And that's what it is now. | ||
| It was implied. | ||
| Yeah, that's what it is now. | ||
| Like when I get introduced, it's like a title. | ||
| This is Tommy Chong of Cheech and Chong. | ||
| Do you still ever run into people that don't want to, especially professional people, that don't want to be associated with pot? | ||
| Actors? | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| There's a shitload of people. | ||
| Depends on which way the wind's blowing. | ||
| But with me, oh yeah. | ||
| Oh, listen, Saturday Night Live. | ||
| Ever wonder why Cheech and Chong have never hosted Saturday Night Live? | ||
| Why is that? | ||
| Lauren Michaels does not like Cheech and Chong. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Why does he not? | ||
| Is he conservative? | ||
| We came up when Ackroyd and Belushi were together. | ||
| And Ackroyd and Belushi caused him so much grief. | ||
| But he couldn't fire them because they were the stars. | ||
| But he never had control of those guys. | ||
| And Belushi was a big Cheech and Chong fan. | ||
| Big time. | ||
| And I guess Aykroyd was too. | ||
| But Belushi was. | ||
| He was like a fan. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| Right from the get-go. | ||
| In fact, he was with Second City and they were trying to do an album because Cheech and Chong did an album. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And the producer kept saying, it's too Cheech and Chong. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They recently had a parody of you guys on Saturday Night Live. | ||
| Yeah, on Saturday Night Live. | ||
| And that kind of got me, because why didn't they have us? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I mean, we were available. | ||
| What was the parody? | ||
| Can you play it? | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| Is this it, Brian? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I think it... | |
| What's the quarterback that won last year? | ||
| The brother? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Manning. | ||
| One of the Mannings. | ||
| Peyton Manning? | ||
|
unidentified
|
With hot drug humor, the pair starred in several feature films throughout the 1970s. | |
| But did you know that Cheech and Chong initially had a third member? | ||
| It's true. | ||
| Tonight, we show you the original cuts of their films with the original lineup. | ||
| Let's take a look at 1978's Up in Smoke. | ||
| We gotta get to the concert, man! | ||
| Even if we gotta speed! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, you got speed, man? | |
| Did you guys see Donnie Marie last night? | ||
| It was a hoot! | ||
| I didn't mean speed for me. | ||
| I meant speed for the car, man! | ||
| You give your car a speed? | ||
| It's heavy, man. | ||
| Oh, that's nothing, man! | ||
| My cousin Paco made a lawnmower that runs a Maui Waui. | ||
| Is that story true? | ||
| Sometimes I can't even tell with you, Cheech. | ||
| I don't know any joke, Richard. | ||
| Hey, did I tell you guys who's in town? | ||
| Greg Taylor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Remember? | |
| I told you about him. | ||
| He and I went to camp together. | ||
| That's great, Richard. | ||
| Hey, man, you want to get stoned? | ||
| Yeah, man, let's get toasted. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pass. | |
| No thanks. | ||
| Yeah, enjoy, man. | ||
| All right! | ||
| No, I better not, friends. | ||
| I have a scholarship to Indiana University. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I cannot be around drugs. | |
| Would you mind pulling over? | ||
| Yeah, sure thing, Richard. | ||
| Right up here is great. | ||
| Thanks. | ||
| Yeah, see you, Richard. | ||
| Yeah, goodbye, Richard. | ||
| That was funny. | ||
| Yeah, but why didn't they use teaching chalk? | ||
| Well, they could use you for something else, but you wouldn't work for that, because then you would have to go back in time. | ||
| No, that's true. | ||
| But I mean, I think just out of, you know, respect for the culture, you know, they should have had us on there. | ||
| Yeah, you've never been on there once. | ||
| Never once. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| Never once. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, they'll have Britney Spears, they'll have all these, you know... | |
| Peyton Manning or whatever. | ||
| In my opinion, that show is always too missed for me to give it enough. | ||
| There's some hits for sure, but it's so, you know, it's hit and miss, but so much mess that I'm not willing to invest any time into it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's hard. | |
| It's the hardest form of entertainment to do a live sort of a sketch comedy show once a week. | ||
| It's such a crapshoot as to whether or not things are going to actually be funny. | ||
| Well, they got no time. | ||
| They got no time to make it funny. | ||
| You say, I got an idea. | ||
| We don't have time. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| Yeah, they have to hustle through things. | ||
| And some things get past you. | ||
| Like, what the fuck kind of thinking was going on there? | ||
| That's what kind of bothered me when we started doing concerts lately. | ||
| Some of the concerts. | ||
| When I started, I kind of got back into the music for a hot second. | ||
| What kind of music? | ||
| You know, rock. | ||
| It's all about, okay, you guys, you've got 15 minutes. | ||
| Get on, let's go. | ||
| You know, I've got some backstage goof, you know, telling you. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up. | ||
| Why were they telling you when to do it? | ||
| Well, you had other... | ||
| People with you? | ||
| You know, yeah, other acts going on. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| So they're trying to get everybody on. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then certain acts, if they're stars, they're in their trailer, they're not coming out, you know. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But any act they can bully, you know, then they would... | ||
| I just didn't... | ||
| See, there's like music festivals? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Is that what it is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| This is a few years ago. | ||
| I got both my sons, one's a bass player, one's a drummer, and I put a little thing together, you know, a little music bit together. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| There's just the three of us. | ||
| It was good for one summer. | ||
| It was a lot of fun. | ||
| One thing about comedy, we command. | ||
| We're out there. | ||
| It's our stage. | ||
| I don't like sharing stages. | ||
| Well, it's hard when you have a vision of what you want to accomplish than somebody else does. | ||
| The key to being in a band, I guess, is figuring out how to compromise and making As many people happy as possible, while still getting out some fragment or portion of your creative vision. | ||
| But it's certainly much easier to get out your full creative vision by yourself. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| You know, I thought about it, you know, now, especially now, you know, because I got, Cheech and I, you know, we finished our touring and that. | ||
| And so I was playing around with the idea of, you know, putting a band together, and then I think about the hassles. | ||
| In fact, I'd rather just drop down, you know. | ||
| I liked it when, you know, Shelby and I were out there alone, or just being alone, you know. | ||
| I don't mind that at all. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| Yeah, it's a lot easier to do whatever you want to do and not have to answer to anybody. | ||
| Mind trips. | ||
| That's what you're doing with people. | ||
| Like I put the sweat lodge in the show, and the first time I did it, this club owner came running backstage and screaming at my wife, you know. | ||
| What's he doing? | ||
| What's he doing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's been talking about rocks for 15 minutes. | |
| The club owner was yelling at your wife? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Where was this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is Craig in Kansas City. | |
| Oh, that crazy fuck? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Beetlejuice? | ||
| That guy's a real character, man. | ||
| What's he doing up there? | ||
| He's talking about rocks. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he does sound like Beetlejuice, doesn't he? | ||
| Well, that's the kind of club, that's the kind of dates I did. | ||
| When I was in Denver, man, when I was in Denver, I don't know. | ||
| I don't even remember smoking. | ||
| I don't think I did. | ||
| I did five shows, and not one was like the other. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I did five totally different How come? | |
| I just could do it. | ||
| You just could do it? | ||
| I got the audience going. | ||
| Denver is a stony town. | ||
| Once I got them going, I just never got back onto the script. | ||
| And then when my wife and I, which we do a set bit, when we hit the set bit, we literally got standing ovations. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Wow. | ||
| That was the greatest high. | ||
| And then we sold merch after and met everybody. | ||
| It was like old days, you know. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Because there was a time when we used to bring a case of bongs with us, you know, selling them. | ||
| So what I did, I sold these nada pipes. | ||
| Those things? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, the necklaces. | ||
| I grabbed a bunch. | ||
| I don't know, something told me, yeah, take it. | ||
| Because going out with Cheech was fun and everything, but confined. | ||
| It's Cheech and Chong. | ||
| Do you find it that there's certain spots in the country where you're more welcomed or they connect with you or they're more into pot humor? | ||
| Yeah, well, Denver for sure. | ||
| Denver for sure, right? | ||
| Denver for sure. | ||
| Denver, isn't marijuana decriminalized in the city? | ||
| And then they have medical marijuana, so they have dispensaries. | ||
| I don't know if they call it Broadsterdam or what, but there's a whole street. | ||
| They even got a system of... | ||
| What do you call it? | ||
| Naming the clubs. | ||
| This is A, B, and C, I guess. | ||
| Oh, you mean like rating them? | ||
| Rating them, yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like the town has something like that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Rating dispensaries? | ||
|
unidentified
|
The city, yeah. | |
| Yeah, man. | ||
| It's very accepted there. | ||
| It's a fucking great town. | ||
| I love Colorado, man. | ||
| I'm going back there August. | ||
| I think I've got a show in Denver, whatever that Friday is. | ||
| I can't wait to get back there. | ||
| I think there's something. | ||
| It's my opinion. | ||
| But when you grow up in a place like Denver, where it's a city, but it's also in the face of some of the most staggering... | ||
| Mother Nature. | ||
| Like, when you look at those mountains, the Rocky Mountains are a motherfucker. | ||
| And if you're in Denver, like, I remember we were at a radio station once, we were just, it was like high up in this office building, and we're sitting there on the 20th floor, whatever the fuck it was, looking out there, and you see the Rocky Mountains, like, God damn. | ||
| Damn, son. | ||
| Would you ever get tired of looking at that? | ||
| That's the goddamn Rocky Mountains, you know? | ||
| I grew up in Calgary, so I know all about the Rocky Mountains. | ||
| I think when you see mountains and shit like that, I think it puts you in a more mellow sort of place. | ||
| More humbling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's humbling. | |
| Yeah, it puts you in proportion. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| The ocean does the same thing. | ||
| In the desert? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know if the desert as much as makes you want to fuck people to death and cut them up and leave them in a hole. | ||
| All the wars are being fought in the desert. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it sucks there. | ||
| You know, I watched this thing in the Taliban where the Taliban shot some woman, you know, because they accused her of adultery. | ||
| And all I could think of is... | ||
| This whole situation sucks. | ||
| Where they live sucks. | ||
| The weather sucks. | ||
| The culture sucks. | ||
| This whole situation sucks. | ||
| This would not happen if it was Brazil. | ||
| In Brazil, you don't accuse a woman of adultery. | ||
| You just deal with it and move on, bitch. | ||
| Because girls are hot as fuck and they're everywhere. | ||
| Just get over it. | ||
| But in Afghanistan, it's such a fucking struggle. | ||
| Well, it's because of the inbreeding, I think. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| It's also because that's where the oldest culture comes from. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, they're like the townies of the world, is what it's like. | ||
| If everything started there, Mesopotamia, Babylon, Iraq, Sumer, that's what they think. | ||
| They think that everything started there. | ||
| Garden of Eden is there. | ||
| Well, if that was real, right? | ||
| Whatever the analogy of that is. | ||
| But that, from that area... | ||
| That's where they wrote it. | ||
| That's where that whole... | ||
| The stories came from. | ||
| The stories came from. | ||
| They also had stories that supposedly had come from even earlier, that they were retold. | ||
| But my point is that's the spot where it all began. | ||
| Everybody agrees to that. | ||
| So if that's the spot where it all began, the people that are still there... | ||
| We're writing. | ||
| Mathematics, agriculture. | ||
| Math, writing. | ||
| I mean, that's how we got the great buildings there. | ||
| It was all thanks to the Arabs. | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| Persians. | ||
| Algebra. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It wasn't for algebra. | ||
| Yeah, the Arabs and the Muslims in general came up with some amazing discoveries. | ||
| What's going on now is this radical offshoot of it that seems to have been accepted. | ||
| And they backed everybody in the corner where if you accept Islam at all, you have to be on the side of these radical motherfuckers. | ||
| There's this connection in a lot of people's minds to that. | ||
| We don't even see Muslims. | ||
| We just see radical Muslims. | ||
| That's all anybody sees. | ||
| This is a religion that will not stop until this happens. | ||
| It becomes this weird form of brainwashing on our part and almost reinforcing reality on their part. | ||
| The more we talk about them willing to blow themselves up, Guarantinately, the more they're willing to blow themselves up. | ||
| The more we talk about how terrified we are of that, the more they're going to employ those tactics. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| That's the whole secret. | ||
| Life is like a workout. | ||
| If you look at the weights and say, Oh God, that's heavy. | ||
| I'll never be able to do that. | ||
| You're not going to be able to work out. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But if you walk in there and go, whoa, that's going to help me. | ||
| You know what the bottom translation is? | ||
| The universe does not like bitches. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| The universe frowns upon bitches. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| The universe doesn't want... | ||
| You gotta get your shit together, bitch. | ||
| There's a right way. | ||
| Every minute of every day, you're taking a decision. | ||
| You're carving a path. | ||
| You're choosing to say certain things and go certain places and act certain ways. | ||
| You know which way you could go. | ||
| You know the better way. | ||
| It's a vibe. | ||
| See, people don't really realize the kind of vibe they're putting out. | ||
| You know, that's why the pedophiles and that, you know... | ||
| They've had a fucked up life, and so they're pursuing it out there. | ||
| But for some reason, you get a crowd of people, and all of a sudden, there's one weirdo in there. | ||
| The vibe. | ||
| You pick up that vibe, and you go, whoa. | ||
| Well, one angry heckler could fuck up a whole crowd of 300 people. | ||
| Have you ever had that happen? | ||
| happen one person is angry for no reason yelling at you like what is going on with you man yeah it isn't it sometimes it could be about something you say like I some woman got super mad because I was doing this joke about that the idea being that you shouldn't there's a big difference between having a man molesting a young girl or young boy and a woman molesting a young boy and Because if a chick's hot, if a woman's hot, we barely care. | ||
| You barely care. | ||
| If you hear that some seven-year-old... | ||
| If you walked in and there was a seven-year-old getting blown by the hottest girl in the world, and he was raising his fist in triumph... | ||
| And I saw this woman go, that's it. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| And she gets up and she's like, fuck this. | ||
| I'm not listening to this. | ||
| This is fucking terrible. | ||
| It's disgusting. | ||
| And as she was saying it, she's like walking through the club, just like poisoning the atmosphere of the club. | ||
| I got lucky that I turned it into a pot. | ||
| I was like, listen, I just want to point out that there was no... | ||
| This is a work of fiction, and no real babies were blown during the making of any of this material. | ||
| So I started going on this explanation about it, about how, you know, in a Stephen King movie, Carrie can light things on fire with her eyes, right? | ||
| But you're telling me that some seven-year-old kid wouldn't like getting his dick sucked? | ||
| In my fiction, that's much more likely. | ||
| It's very, very, very touching. | ||
| Yeah, it's funny. | ||
| Because a lot of people, she's probably went through some weird thing. | ||
| A lot of people. | ||
| I think a lot of people. | ||
| I think, you know, I dodged a bullet twice in my youth from being molested. | ||
| Once when I was like 8 and once when I was like 13, I dodged two bullets. | ||
| I think a lot of people get hit. | ||
| A lot of people get fragged. | ||
| Well, I got, well, kind of molested when I was learning how to swim. | ||
| Really? | ||
| They had free swimming lessons at the YMCA. The only problem was, or the only thing was that we didn't need bathing suits. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| There were literally 20 young guys with no bathing suits. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Swimming. | ||
| Learning how to swim. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| And the YMCA guys were, okay, one more time. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay, boys. | |
| I'll be here again. | ||
| Okay, now you're doing good. | ||
| So he's just watching you, or was he touching? | ||
| No, no, just... | ||
| Just watching. | ||
| Teaching you how to swim. | ||
| Wow, what a crazy asshole. | ||
| But what it was, I mean, why... | ||
| Did he stand behind a podium and beat off while you guys were swimming? | ||
| I never really... | ||
| See, at the time, you know, you don't... | ||
| You're innocent. | ||
| Yeah, you're totally innocent. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then another time, I was... | ||
| We never got really hit on. | ||
| I was playing basketball at the Y in Hollywood. | ||
| And there's a locker room there. | ||
| No, this is in New York. | ||
| This is in New York City. | ||
| And there's a locker room. | ||
| And this guy comes up. | ||
| Hi, you want to catch a buzz later? | ||
| And I looked around to see who he was talking to. | ||
| He says, no, you. | ||
| I'm talking to you. | ||
| Do you want to catch a buzz later? | ||
| And he says, I don't think so. | ||
| And then he reaches in his locker and pulls out the thickest pair of glasses I've ever seen. | ||
| He puts them on and he looks at me and goes, oh, never mind. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| Do you think that is he thought you were someone else or he found out what you really looked like and he's like, damn, I could do better than this dude. | ||
| He's like, I'm not ready to cash in my tag this early. | ||
| I'm still going to go out hunting. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I think that's what it was. | ||
| Never mind. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| Sorry. | ||
| Wrong guy. | ||
| So how often are you going out and doing stand-up now and how can people see you? | ||
| We got one more gig in Fresno. | ||
| Do you ever do the Ice House? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm? | |
| You should do the Ice House. | ||
| You ever do the Ice House? | ||
| Cheech and I started here. | ||
| Did you really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, Bob Stain used to come. | ||
| Never paid us. | ||
| He paid us all. | ||
| He did pay us. | ||
| Wasn't much. | ||
| 50 bucks, I think, for both of us. | ||
| This is back in 1970. What was 50 bucks worth back then? | ||
| It was like 100 bucks, 500 bucks? | ||
| For Cheech and I? Yeah. | ||
| That was a lot of money. | ||
| Was it $50? | ||
| I'm just trying to put it in perspective. | ||
| Well, we weren't working. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But what was it worth today with the inflation? | ||
| Let's see, what was, I don't know. | ||
| Would you say like a couple hundred bucks? | ||
| Probably five bucks. | ||
| No, no, no, what was it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Today. | |
| Oh, so it's five times more? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Okay, so 250 bucks? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Okay, so every time you work you got to eat and pay your rent and all that shit. | ||
| Yeah, a little bit of rent and a little bit of food. | ||
| What was like a month's rent in an apartment back then? | ||
| But we, but Lily Tomlin used to come and try out all her material here. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| And, uh, Does Steve Martin work here? | ||
| Yeah, Steve Martin. | ||
| David Letterman's contract is on the wall from him working here. | ||
| He got pissed off at teaching John because after we made it, when we made it big, we mentioned every club but the Ice House. | ||
| How come he didn't mention the Ice House? | ||
| I forgot about it. | ||
| Fucking Pasadena, man. | ||
| The Troubadour. | ||
| We mentioned the Troubadour. | ||
| Right. | ||
| A few other clubs. | ||
| This is my favorite club in the country. | ||
| And then the ISOs. | ||
| I mean, comedy-wise, we killed it. | ||
| He had a clean policy for years. | ||
| Did he really? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Because now Joey Diaz does every Wednesday. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who? | |
| Do you know Joey Diaz? | ||
| Joey Diaz. | ||
| He's a good friend of ours. | ||
| He's on the podcast all the time, stand-up comedian, Cuban guy. | ||
| Oh, I'm thinking of Nick Diaz. | ||
| No, that's the fighter. | ||
| Yeah, the fighter. | ||
| I know what Diaz. | ||
| Yeah, no, Joey Diaz is probably the funniest guy on the planet. | ||
| Is he? | ||
| Yeah, he's my friend. | ||
| I've been friends with him for like 10 years. | ||
| I don't know anybody who makes me laugh more than that guy. | ||
| More than 10 years, shit. | ||
| Me and Joey have been friends for like 15, 16 years. | ||
| He's stand-up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Yeah, he's hilarious. | ||
| Ridiculous. | ||
| Ridiculous pothead, too. | ||
| Oh, of course. | ||
| Every day. | ||
| He's going to start doing, Joey's going to start doing a new Ustream show two or three days a week by himself at 6 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| Because he gets up at 6 and he smokes weed and listens to music. | ||
| And then he goes for a walk and he'll go to his dispensary and he'll buy his weed. | ||
| And he's going to document it all on Ustream. | ||
| So every morning, you know, how many days a week he chooses to do this. | ||
| He's going to do at least twice, he says. | ||
| He's going to get up at 6 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| He goes, I'm going to put on a fucking lecture for these cocksuckers. | ||
| This is how he talks. | ||
| He goes, I want to play them the right music. | ||
| I'm going to get that Ustream working. | ||
| He goes every day, fuck it, I'm up anyway. | ||
| I'm up anyway. | ||
| 6 o'clock, who am I going to bother? | ||
| And he works here all the time. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, all the time. | ||
| Which is hilarious. | ||
| He's so dirty. | ||
| He's like one of the dirtiest guys ever. | ||
| And he's like a regular hero. | ||
| Well, staying above at first, you know, like Lily Tomlin and all the street laughing people, you know, they would come and make an appearance here. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It was very, very straight. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Well, times change, you know. | ||
| Well, Cheech and Chong, well, we did our act, you know. | ||
| We never held back. | ||
| Did anybody ever try to censor you? | ||
| Not really. | ||
| Lately. | ||
| Lately, we were at a casino in Biloxi. | ||
| In Mississippi? | ||
| In Mississippi. | ||
| And we're just about to do the show, you know, doing a sound check. | ||
| Got my son working the roadie. | ||
| And we're setting the mics up and that. | ||
| And then the guy comes up. | ||
| He's old, by the way. | ||
| I just want to remind you, you know, the chief is really religious. | ||
| And I said, you've got to really watch your language. | ||
| We looked at him. | ||
| What? | ||
| He said, yeah, you've got to watch it. | ||
| I said, well, what happens if we don't? | ||
| He said, well, he could pull the plug on you. | ||
| He's been known to do that. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So I said, wow, okay. | ||
| So then I went and told Cheech, or the guy came in the dressing room, and I told Cheech, I said, Cheech, the guy wants us to do a clean show. | ||
| Cheech said, fuck that, man. | ||
| What motherfucker wants to do a clean show? | ||
| Tell me. | ||
| Is this a motherfucker? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck that. | |
| I ain't doing no fucking clean show. | ||
| So what happened? | ||
| He knew Cheech was joking. | ||
| What we did, we cut down my wife's show. | ||
| Because she gets a little out there. | ||
| She gets graphic? | ||
| Well, she gets a little out there, you know, that would piss him off. | ||
| Cheech and John, we never did anything. | ||
| So it's a sexual thing he's worried about? | ||
| No, it was just the, what do you call it? | ||
| The producer. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| But what was the content that they were worried about? | ||
| Was it bad words? | ||
| Bad words. | ||
| What it was, he's sucking up to the chief. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, what it was, he never told the chief who Cheech and Chong really were. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| See, now, at the last moment, he knew. | ||
| But the chief didn't know? | ||
| I guess. | ||
| How the fuck can you be a chief and not know who Cheech and Chong is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well. | |
| How dare he? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But anyway, we, it never hurt. | ||
| What kind of fucking leader is that? | ||
| Cheech did do one bit where a couple of people got up and left. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What was the bit? | ||
| It was about his favorite director and he turned out to be... | ||
| Roman Polanski? | ||
| Rodriguez. | ||
| Paul Rodriguez? | ||
| No, Robert. | ||
| Robert Rodriguez. | ||
| Robert Rodriguez, because he had great dialogue in his movie. | ||
| Pussy, pussy, pussy. | ||
| You got hairy pussy. | ||
| No pussy. | ||
| Hairy, you know. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Bald pussy. | ||
| Black pussy. Yellow pussy. | ||
| Any kind of pussy. | ||
| Get it right here. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| And a couple of pussies got up. | ||
| We've heard enough. | ||
| Enough. | ||
| It's funny how people in comedy clubs want to change your act. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They want to drive the car. | |
| They just want to have it over you. | ||
| They don't like the fact that you're getting all the tension. | ||
| The worst is when you get booked into a club, and then once you get there, especially when I was middling, I wasn't really making real money, and I would get sent to these clubs in the middle of nowhere, and you would get there, and they would have their own standards to impose on you. | ||
| I would get off stage, like, I don't know if anybody talks to you about the language, but you can't talk like that. | ||
| You better fucking fire me, because this is what I'm doing. | ||
| This is what I do. | ||
| There's only one way to make an audience, okay? | ||
| To get people to come back and see you, you've got to do what you actually do. | ||
| Because if you pretend that... | ||
| I got booked with my act. | ||
| This is my act. | ||
| I'm going to do it. | ||
| So she had to call the booking agent, and the booking agent was like, that's what I booked, and this is... | ||
| And she was just a manager. | ||
| Just a manager that decided she was going to be a censor. | ||
| It wasn't... | ||
| Her name wasn't Connie, was it? | ||
| No, it was somewhere in New York. | ||
| It was one of those fucking comedy clubs in the middle of nowhere. | ||
| I don't even remember where it was, what part of New York it was. | ||
| One of those weird little shitty clubs. | ||
| But that's the thing that a lot of comics have to go through. | ||
| Because club owners, you know, you don't want to take a chance and have some asshole come in and run all your customers out with his foul humor. | ||
| Well, I mean, you've got to listen to your homework. | ||
| Find out who you're booking on that stage. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I gave them a tape. | ||
| The tape had the same material that I was doing. | ||
| Back then, that's how you'd have to get a guy to make a VHS tape of you. | ||
| And then you could make copies of it with two VHS recorders connected together. | ||
| And you always had a friend who knew how to do that. | ||
| And he could edit it. | ||
| And the edits were terrible. | ||
| And there was like a big fuzzy pause in between sets that you did in different places. | ||
| So you'd send it out to a club. | ||
| And they'd go, oh, that guy's got a good act. | ||
| Alright, I'll book them. | ||
| And that's how you got work. | ||
| You have to send tapes out. | ||
| That would be a big part of your job. | ||
| Trying to go places and send tapes out. | ||
| When you guys were... | ||
| We had albums that we sent out. | ||
| That's what we did. | ||
| That's what it was? | ||
| That's what got people to come and see you guys? | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Did you have to do radio or anything back in those days? | ||
| Tons of radio. | ||
| I still do radio. | ||
| To let people know you're in town? | ||
| I love doing radio. | ||
| How often are you on Twitter? | ||
| Cheech doesn't like... | ||
| I try to be, you know, every day, but... | ||
| Cheech doesn't like radio? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No? | |
| How come? | ||
| He's, you know, lazy. | ||
| He's lazy? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Yeah, basically. | ||
| Does he like acting more than performing? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He loves acting. | ||
| He loves getting paid for, you know... | ||
| Just talk, pretend. | ||
| Sitting around, yeah. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| He's not... | ||
| He doesn't... | ||
| He's not a threat to Mencia or anybody, you know. | ||
| Oh, on stage you mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I'm not even sure what that means. | ||
| So he doesn't like, he's like if it's not, he's not like going up on weeknights and working on... | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| In fact, he never, he went out, what did he do? | ||
| He went out and emceed Latin Kings of Comedy. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| That's about it. | ||
| Did you ever ask him what it was like working with Don Johnson for all those years? | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| Cheech and I got a different... | ||
| I got to walk on tiptoes around him. | ||
| Oh really? | ||
| Is it because you guys just worked together for so long? | ||
| No, there is a few bad decisions made that we don't talk about. | ||
| You know, when we broke up, the bond was broken. | ||
| Right now, there's still memories. | ||
| It's almost like an ex-wife. | ||
| Get together for the kids. | ||
| That's weird, man. | ||
| What drove you guys apart? | ||
| Was it ego? | ||
| Was it money? | ||
| No, it was fear of not working, I think. | ||
| Fear of not working? | ||
| Yeah, well, as soon as he got offered... | ||
| Offered something on his own. | ||
| He took it. | ||
| Was it that or was it that he just wanted to be independent? | ||
| Wanted to be able to make his own money? | ||
| I think a lot of it. | ||
| He didn't like the fact that I was the alpha dog. | ||
| You were the guy who wrote everything? | ||
| Well, I'd direct it for sure. | ||
| I'd direct it. | ||
| And a lot of decisions. | ||
| I made all the decisions. | ||
| One of the decisions I made, we got offered a big television contract back in the day. | ||
| And I turned it down. | ||
| Big money. | ||
| I don't know how I did it, but I did it. | ||
| I just said that. | ||
| What were they trying to get you to do? | ||
| Was it a sitcom? | ||
| Well, it ended up being Chico and the Man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| In fact, Chico and the Man was one of our bits. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| Jimmy Comax followed us around for about four months. | ||
| Chico and the Man was one of your bits? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How did it go? | ||
| What was it like? | ||
| Well, we did a bit called Old Man in the Park. | ||
| And the Chicano would come up with a... | ||
| He's a real tough guy and the old guy and him would have a little argument, you know, and I would insult him pretty bad. | ||
| And so they just copied that and turned it into a sitcom. | ||
| So what he did, he got an old man, Albert, and he got Chico, Freddie Prinze, and they turned it into a sitcom. | ||
| Yeah, and for folks who don't know, Freddie Prinze, for one small but brief moment in time, was one of the biggest stars in the country. | ||
| He was a huge television star. | ||
| Huge. | ||
| He went crazy and committed suicide. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And then they tried to do the show without him. | ||
| And that's one of the reasons that I turned down television. | ||
| Because I don't like losing control. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I found nothing works. | ||
| If I don't have control of something, we don't sell anything and nothing works. | ||
| Well, it's not going to be your vision. | ||
| It's going to be someone's idea of what your vision should be, and that's not the same thing. | ||
| What it is, it's someone's vision that doesn't have an offer. | ||
| It's a production company that goes, hey, I got a great idea. | ||
| You do a teacher, you're this. | ||
| And they're the ones who put up the money, so they want their way. | ||
| They want money and da-da-da-da. | ||
| And we try to sell a bunch of stuff lately, and no one's interested. | ||
| I mean, because no is the best filter in this town. | ||
| Just say no. | ||
| If the guy wants it bad enough, he'll keep at it until you say yes. | ||
| But when they say no to Cheech and Chong, it's like, oh, okay, next. | ||
| Let's go somewhere else. | ||
| Yeah, you guys are icons. | ||
| Together, you guys doing a comedy show is no fail. | ||
| It's like if you are a respectable stoner and Cheech and Chong coming in Denver, you've got to go see them. | ||
| Yeah, but what we have to do, like if it's on television, we can't have it watered down. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| Why go on television? | ||
| Just stick with the internet, man. | ||
| Do something like this. | ||
| Have a Cheech and Chong Ustream show. | ||
| You guys fucking fill arenas every day of the week. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You do do like a YouTube show, or you used to, didn't you? | |
| Or like a blog type video? | ||
| Yeah, I did. | ||
| I did a lot of that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Those were really interesting. | ||
| Did you stop doing them? | ||
| Yeah, well, we went on tour and then I couldn't get the mics working. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| You know, we don't have a... | ||
| My son actually set it up and we started off. | ||
| Where are you doing your podcast out of? | ||
| My house. | ||
| You're going to do it out of your house? | ||
| Are you setting up a studio there? | ||
| Yeah, I got it set up. | ||
| It's all set up. | ||
| Ready to go. | ||
| Why are you going to wait until September? | ||
| Well, my son gets back. | ||
| Oh, you want to do it with him? | ||
| I'm going to wait until he gets back and then kind of build up the anticipation. | ||
| Oh, that's a good idea. | ||
| You're clever. | ||
| Look at you, you marketing genius. | ||
| We never thought about that. | ||
| We just started out just fucking goofing on it. | ||
| I've never even tried to promote this thing. | ||
| This thing became this by itself. | ||
| But you could tell. | ||
| Look where it is. | ||
| It's a room. | ||
| No, what do you need? | ||
| A comedy club. | ||
| Yeah, that's all you do need. | ||
| A room with fucking cool shit on the wall and some mannequins that look like Brian's ex-girlfriend. | ||
| And a toilet that flushes. | ||
| And zombies. | ||
| Yeah, by the way, we're getting a bidet here, dude. | ||
| We're getting one of those electronic crazy things. | ||
| When it all happens, I'll mention it on the podcast. | ||
| It's a company that's offered to send us one of those cool Japanese butthole cleaning toilets. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I'm so psyched. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, those are amazing. | ||
| I was in Tokyo in the bathroom. | ||
| I couldn't get out of them. | ||
| They're wonderful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're wonderful. | |
| Heated. | ||
| And it squirts water right in your asshole and you just don't want to get up. | ||
| Did you beat off? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you beat off? | |
| No, I just sat there for like 10 minutes just letting it just do that. | ||
| Yeah, I beat off once. | ||
| Once during the weekend. | ||
| It was fantastic. | ||
| Great. | ||
| It's warm water tickling your butthole. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Woo! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why is that so terrible? | ||
| How could it be so bad if it feels so good? | ||
| That's what I have to say. | ||
| Well, the Japanese are into cleanliness. | ||
| Pleasure, too. | ||
| They figured out a lot of shit about martial arts, too. | ||
| And they make a badass car. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, they are super clean people. | |
| They used to take showers multiple times a day. | ||
| They evolved on a totally different line than Western America. | ||
| It's very fascinating to me when I look at Japanese culture. | ||
| I think it's amazing. | ||
| The samurai culture, the fact that there's so many martial arts, Aikido, Jiu-Jitsu, Karate... | ||
| All these different things come out of Japan. | ||
| So much comes out of Japan. | ||
| It's an amazing place. | ||
| It's a little tiny island. | ||
| Japan will take it and refine it. | ||
| They'll take somebody else's martial arts. | ||
| They took it from India. | ||
| Cars. | ||
| And they'll refine it into something. | ||
| The Prius. | ||
| I drive a Prius. | ||
| All my friends. | ||
| How dare you, you hippie? | ||
| Driving Priuses. | ||
| It's very hippie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everybody loves those things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They're the perfect, don't give a shit about a car, a car you can have. | ||
| You know, just, there it is. | ||
| It's a car. | ||
| It gets me from here to there, and it's easy on gas, and you can put my golf clubs in. | ||
| It doesn't sound like a Shelby Mustang. | ||
| You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| Tommy Chong, when you fire up a Shelby GT500, and you hear that. | ||
| You can shift your own gears. | ||
| You feel like a fucking man again! | ||
| You feel alive! | ||
| Only trouble is, all you see in your future is traffic school. | ||
| Yeah, you know, you can't be an asshole with it, but even just regular driving. | ||
| When you have a car like a Mustang... | ||
| I tried to, you know, customize my Prius. | ||
| And so I... Changed the exhaust? | ||
| I had it lowered. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I had it on... | ||
| Hydraulics? | ||
| Hydraulics. | ||
| Wouldn't that defeat the whole purpose? | ||
| Or the weight of the hydraulics would make the gas mileage terrible? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Forget gas. | ||
| I had dual pipes. | ||
| I had... | ||
| Did you really have all this stuff? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You really have hydraulics put in there? | ||
| I had it. | ||
| I had the taillights blacked out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You murdered that bitch. | |
| And then I ended up getting arrested, getting a ticket. | ||
| Really? | ||
| For everything. | ||
| Well, for the taillights, for sure. | ||
| And then I had to go to court, and the guy was a fan, and he says, well, come back at one o'clock, you know. | ||
| And so I come back at one. | ||
| I thought, you know, the judge is coming back, and I'll say, thank you, goodbye. | ||
| I had to stand up in front of the thing, how do you plead, and get a $10 fine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn! | |
| Yeah. | ||
| $10. | ||
| And wait for everybody. | ||
| $10 because your car had tinted brake lights? | ||
| Brake lights, yeah. | ||
| Silly bitches. | ||
| So I just took it right back to what it was. | ||
| No more statement. | ||
| But was it better looking once you did that to it? | ||
| Oh, it was phenomenal looking. | ||
| It looks so good because I can lower it right onto the ground. | ||
| Have you ever seen the Lotus car that they made out of hemp? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The hemp Lotus? | ||
| I think I have. | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| We showed pictures of it on this podcast before. | ||
| By the way, the first car, you know that, was made out of hemp. | ||
| Henry Ford's first body panels made out of hemp. | ||
| And there's videos of him hitting it with a hammer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it bounces up. | ||
| People don't really believe like half the shit I say because I'm obviously no scientist and I'm half retarded. | ||
| But if you just watch some of the videos of what's capable and possible with the hemp that's constructed into body panels, it's amazing that they don't do it today to this day. | ||
| Well, they had the electric car, too. | ||
| I wonder how much it would cost to get... | ||
| This is a good question. | ||
| I'm going to put this out there to the universe. | ||
| How much would it cost to get a Corvette and replace all those fiberglass body panels with hemp and have it in the exact same shape? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I would be willing to spend a lot of money. | ||
| You've got to go with the can, man. | ||
| Dude, do it, please. | ||
| I'd be willing to spend a lot of money on that. | ||
| Go to the can, take a leak, and then we'll come back and wrap this up. | ||
| I just want to thank everyone that came to the Doug Benson taping that we did the other day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
People brought Olive Garden breadsticks to me and people stole Olive Garden menus and it's just ridiculous. | |
| How fun was Vegas? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, it was great. | |
| How fun was Dice? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dice, that was another thing. | |
| I completely forgot about that. | ||
| We went to go see Dice, and I was really kind of in the back of my head thinking, all right, this is not going to be as good, I don't think. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why would you think that? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| For some reason, I just didn't think he was going to be as good in my head. | ||
| Don't say that on the show. | ||
| Well, I'm just being honest, but... | ||
| Shit, I understand you being honest. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He blew me away. | |
| Oh, you didn't think I was gonna be good, huh? | ||
| This fucking guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
His jokes per minute, like, he's just like, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. | |
| Red group over here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Red group. | |
| Whatever the fuck his name is. | ||
| This cocksucker. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, I mean, like, with certain people, you know, after a while, you're like, I wonder if they still have it. | |
| You know, and that's just what I kind of thought. | ||
| Never doubted for a moment that we would have it. | ||
| Never doubted. | ||
| I've always been a Dice Clay fan. | ||
| Watching, when I used to work at the comedy store, I used to love to watch them get angry and yell at people. | ||
| Like, he always Dice Mean. | ||
| You know, he brings it up to this day, because I always say, I love when Dice Mean comes out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Fucking torture people! | ||
| And he's in character, so the shit he says is so crazy. | ||
| His character is, in my opinion, one of the funniest characters in the history of comedy. | ||
| And a lot of people misunderstand it. | ||
| And a lot of people get mad at him and say, no, this is misogynism, this is racism, this is how he really thinks. | ||
| You couldn't be further from the truth. | ||
| You couldn't be more wrong. | ||
| He's a combination of reality and fiction. | ||
| He's a human walking amalgamage... | ||
| What is the word? | ||
| Amalgamism? | ||
| Amalgamism? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Quickly. | |
| Amalgamism? | ||
| No. | ||
| What is the word? | ||
| Amalgamize when you amalgamize? | ||
| What the hell is the word? | ||
| Human amalgamism? | ||
| No, that's not the word. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're using too big of words. | |
| Yeah, well, whatever it is. | ||
| He's a combination of reality and his creation. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's Dice Clay. | ||
| And when you watch him, you understand. | ||
| If you go and watch a full hour set, he doesn't mean what he's saying. | ||
| We came backstage after the show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who is this? | |
| Dice Clay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| We came backstage after the show, and he was so happy that we were there. | ||
| It came with Jim Norton and Anthony Cumia from Opium Anthem. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Robert Kelly. | |
| Robert Kelly and Brian and Sam Roberts. | ||
| And so we all came backstage. | ||
| We're telling him how great it was and everything. | ||
| He was so happy. | ||
| But he tells you his formula. | ||
| He goes, I do no research. | ||
| He goes, I'm wrong about everything I say. | ||
| But I say it with such conviction. | ||
| He knows what he's doing. | ||
| It's his creation. | ||
| And it was fucking awesome. | ||
| We had a great time. | ||
| That was some of the hardest I've laughed at stand-up comedy in a while. | ||
| He's got that great New York attitude. | ||
| It's an attitude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, he's perfected that. | ||
| He's exaggerated it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's so goofy. | |
| The gangster types, you know, they'll do it every time. | ||
| I remember one time I was in Banff. | ||
| We're at some convention or something. | ||
| And the mountains are beautiful. | ||
| Where's Banff? | ||
| Banff, Alberta. | ||
| It's in the Rocky Mountains. | ||
| It's like Denver. | ||
| In the middle of the ski area. | ||
| And we're standing outside and this New York guy looks around and he goes, Ain't nature a cocksucker? | ||
| I bet it was Joey Diaz. | ||
| He's never been to Canada. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, that's it. | |
| That is what a guy from New York would say, too. | ||
| Yeah, there's that style of humor that's really not like anywhere else. | ||
| That New York attitude, it's a very different sort of... | ||
| It's endearing to a certain extent, irritating and retarded, you know, for the most part. | ||
| But there's parts of it, like when Dice nails it, that's so endearing. | ||
| That's the greatest thing about it, Zach. | ||
| That was really fun. | ||
| He was funny. | ||
| I loved Dice, man. | ||
| You know, when he did the movie, I was so sad. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| He wasn't good. | ||
| He had such a shot. | ||
| He had a shot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But all he had to do was get a Dice Clay to direct it. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| That's all he needed. | ||
| Well, that was also while the protests were going on. | ||
| People were protesting his act. | ||
| Women's group were protesting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gays were protesting. | |
| Well, yeah, no, but you can't go backwards, you know. | ||
| You can't take that shit back. | ||
| Edge, yeah, take the edge back. | ||
| What you got to do is make him your friend, like you do, you know. | ||
| Well, he didn't have the internet back then, so you needed someone to put you in something. | ||
| You needed someone to, you know, unless you were doing just concerts. | ||
| Yeah, but I mean, he's a good actor. | ||
| Yeah, he is a good actor. | ||
| He's a fine actor. | ||
| I saw him in another movie, a little low-budget movie, and he played a serious role. | ||
| Well, that's why he's such a good comic. | ||
| He's got performance chops. | ||
| He's got timing. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, he's got timing. | ||
| Great timing. | ||
| It was really fun. | ||
| We saw him at the Riviera, which is also like stepping into a time capsule. | ||
| Because the Riviera has photos on the wall from the 1950s. | ||
| Oh, this is in Vegas? | ||
| Yeah, Vegas. | ||
| At the top of the Riv. | ||
| Yeah, the theater at the top. | ||
| He does a bunch of shows there, apparently. | ||
| He does it all the time. | ||
| I worked there with my wife. | ||
| Oh, did you? | ||
| Yeah, Shelby. | ||
| Shelby, you know, she's a... | ||
| I invented her, basically. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know, she's never been on stage. | ||
| You made her get on stage? | ||
| No, but I wanted her to come on the roll with me. | ||
| Oh, that's awesome. | ||
| I said, I'll put you in the show, because she was taking acting. | ||
| And so she said, okay, right away, you know, get her job, she'll do it. | ||
| So she did five minutes, you know, introduced me. | ||
| Did you write her material? | ||
| Yeah, I wrote quite a bit of her stuff, you know. | ||
| And I got her going, and she's doing good. | ||
| Now she's happening, you know. | ||
| And so we're doing club after club, and we're doing really good, and people are loving her and that. | ||
| And so we get a gig booked with Bobcat. | ||
| Bobcat Goldflay? | ||
| Yeah, Bobcat Goldflay. | ||
| And Bobcat had just dumped his wife for a young girl, and Shelby mentioned it in her show. | ||
| Like she's just doing her show. | ||
| And she said, oh yeah, Bobcat, you got the new wife, yeah. | ||
| Something, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| Bobcat almost had a miscarriage. | ||
| He was literally crying to me. | ||
| Crying? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| In tears? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He said, did you hear what your wife said to me, said about me? | |
| And I looked at her and I said, am I in the wrong club or something? | ||
| You know, this is a comedy club. | ||
| This is what you do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is what you do. | |
| It's just a new wife, right? | ||
| Why is that bad? | ||
| Why is it bad to have a new wife? | ||
| If you're in love with someone enough to marry him, why is it bad? | ||
| What it was is that Bobcat has never really considered himself a comic. | ||
| What? | ||
| No. | ||
| He's a movie director or something. | ||
| He's never really considered himself... | ||
| But he was for a long time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, he was. | |
| He did his act. | ||
| But it was a character. | ||
| But I'm pretty sure he still does stand-up, and now he's done. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Probably does. | |
| I think he got over that character, and now he does himself. | ||
| We had him on the podcast. | ||
| No, no, he's very talented and all that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But he cried like a little fucking baby. | |
| And he wanted me to. | ||
| What do you want me to do? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Go slap my wife? | |
| What year was this? | ||
| In the 90s. | ||
| Yeah, see, he hadn't gotten on the internet yet. | ||
| He was a baby. | ||
| Like all of us. | ||
| Oh, maybe not. | ||
| Children of the times. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, we all needed to be educated. | ||
| I mean, you get sensitive? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, in a comedy club? | ||
| I mean, anybody else, you know, you take your hits with everybody else, you know? | ||
| That is true. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But he was... | ||
| And Craig... | ||
| Especially at a comedy club. | ||
| Craig was there. | ||
| Same place? | ||
| Kansas City? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| This was in... | ||
| In Vegas, at the top of the river. | ||
| And he was there? | ||
| Was he killing hookers? | ||
| What was he doing? | ||
| He came with some weird chick. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But Bobcat. | ||
| And Bobcat was, oh, he was so mad. | ||
| Well, some comics do wear their heart in their sleeve. | ||
| A lot of us got into comedy because we're fucked up in the first place. | ||
| That's a big percentage. | ||
| I give him a mulligan for the 90s. | ||
| You got it, right? | ||
| I really enjoyed having him on the podcast, too. | ||
| Although I still have not seen God Bless America. | ||
| Did you see it, Brian? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, I haven't. | |
| Which one? | ||
| He just directed a new movie that people are almost unanimously praising. | ||
| Yeah, he's very talented. | ||
| I've heard over and over again that it's amazing. | ||
| He's a very talented guy. | ||
| I've got to check it out, but it seems kind of dark. | ||
| I don't want him to bum me out. | ||
| Isn't it funny how that is now? | ||
| Have you seen Ted's? | ||
| No, I haven't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Go see it. | |
| I mean, going there, you know, expecting to laugh. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure. | ||
| Good laughs. | ||
| Well, I love Seth MacFarlane. | ||
| He's got a great attitude. | ||
| I like that dude. | ||
| I like listening to him when he does interviews. | ||
| I like his attitude. | ||
| I met him once. | ||
| He was super nice. | ||
| And what's the guy, the star, Marky Mark? | ||
| Mark Wahlberg. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's really good. | |
| He's getting a little bit too anal for me, though. | ||
| Anal? | ||
| Yeah, he's getting weird. | ||
| He's getting weird? | ||
| You get weird with you? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| He's talking about, you know, he was doing the movie and he memorizes all his lines. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He comes prepared. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, I mean, like, so? | ||
| What was the context of him saying this? | ||
| Well, he had a lot of dialogue naming girls. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And he could rattle it off with no problem, you know. | ||
| Whereas most actors, you know. | ||
| And he nailed a few. | ||
| Randy Gotore told me an awesome story this past weekend about Jean-Claude Van Damme. | ||
| And ordinarily, I wouldn't tell it, but it just seems like this one you can get away with. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And especially Randy. | ||
| Randy was saying that Jean-Claude would come into set after partying all night. | ||
| He would forget his line. | ||
| And he would hold his hands up like this, like this, like to tell them to give him his line. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Apparently just still partying. | ||
| Jean-Claude Van Damme still going at it hard. | ||
| You gotta love it, you know? | ||
| Showing up to the set, just hammered. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's his lines. | |
| Well, that's what I'm talking about. | ||
| Like Wahlberg, all of a sudden, he's turned into this perfect guy. | ||
| He's evolving. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| And happier this way, maybe. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I like him in things. | ||
| He did a really, really, really good job. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I think he's getting a little bit too... | ||
| Too anal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Need to get him high. | ||
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
| You want to get Marky Mark high? | ||
| He said, like his kids, well, he'll never take his kids to see this Ted, you know. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because it's too graphic? | ||
| Because Ted's potty mouth. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Is he trying to change his image or something? | ||
| Maybe it's his wife. | ||
| Maybe his wife's real conservative. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Maybe he's trying to change his image. | ||
| Maybe it's just he's a businessman. | ||
| He's making a business decision. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| Tommy Chong just insinuated that Mark Wahlberg may in fact be a bitch. | ||
| I can't believe he just went there. | ||
| We need to get you high again. | ||
| Whatever you smoke before the show wore off. | ||
| I like Ted, though, the teddy bear. | ||
| I can't wait for it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think the sequel is going to be even a better one. | |
| You keep saying that. | ||
| You're crazy. | ||
| I think the next one is just going to be... | ||
| Well, as long as you keep the same director. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Because I think they'll find more weird things for the teddy bear to do. | ||
| Yeah, totally. | ||
| I can't wait to see it. | ||
| I can't wait to see it. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| I'm looking forward to that. | ||
| Mila, Mila Kunis. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god, so beautiful. | |
| You like that, huh? | ||
| Well, I worked with her for years on that 70s show. | ||
| Oh yeah, that's right. | ||
| What was it like doing that show? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I got a Mila connection now. | |
| Did you enjoy it? | ||
| I really enjoyed it. | ||
| Did anybody on that show ever try to convert you into Scientology? | ||
| Not really, no. | ||
| Not really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I mean, they helped me with some medical things. | ||
| I was hacking and coughing. | ||
| Scientology helped you with some medical things? | ||
| No, Danny. | ||
| Danny, he got me into vitamin C drip. | ||
| Have you ever heard of that? | ||
| Is Danny a Scientologist? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, and so is Laura Prepon, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is it interesting how many actors are Scientologists, isn't it? | ||
| Well, it's like acting school, you know, when you think about it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's the ultimate acting school. | ||
| They teach you how to act in public. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| And how to control people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's why they stare at people. | ||
| Did you ever get involved in it? | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| One time teaching. | ||
| We had a series of managers when we were coming up, trying to make it. | ||
| And this one guy, we didn't know he was a Scientologist until he got us booked in this club, or this hall in Hollywood. | ||
| And so before we'd go on stage, every time Cheech would have to go take a dump. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So Cheech comes back and he goes, this is a weird place, man. | |
| You know what they got written on the walls there? | ||
| I was thrown into the malstream of the universe. | ||
| Instead of here I sit broken hearted, it's the malstream of the universe and it's all the Scientology bullshit. | ||
| Wow, while you're taking a dump. | ||
| Yeah, and so we went on stage and they're all staring at us. | ||
| They stare. | ||
| They stare. | ||
| They just stare at us. | ||
| Stepford wives, right? | ||
| They kind of, I guess they like the show. | ||
| We worked there a couple of times. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It was fun, though. | ||
| Well, listen, man, you gotta let us know when the animated movie comes out, so we'll tweet the shit out of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And let us know when your podcast comes out. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| We're just gonna call it a podcast. | ||
| That's what you're gonna call it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Podcast. | |
| Podcast. | ||
| You know, there was already a podcast. | ||
| Did you know that? | ||
| A podcast. | ||
| Yeah, but it doesn't matter, right? | ||
| I used to do one. | ||
| Yeah, you used to do a podcast. | ||
| And just smoke it? | ||
| That was what it was called. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was called a podcast, but the girl I did it with was an actress, and she's like, you know what, I need to probably maybe name it something else. | |
| We called it a popcast. | ||
| This is ruining my image. | ||
| I'm being connected with something awesome, and I'm not comfortable with that. | ||
| It may limit me from lying and bullshitting and pretending to be someone I'm not. | ||
| Makes him nervous. | ||
| Listen, man, you've been a hero to the marijuana movement and the comedy movement and everything for fucking decades, man. | ||
| It's an honor to do a podcast with you. | ||
| When I was a little kid, listening to those albums at my parents' house, I never would have imagined that we'd be able to do this. | ||
| So thank you very much for doing this. | ||
| My pleasure. | ||
| And did I tell you I got cancer? | ||
| Yeah, you did. | ||
| We went over that. | ||
| That's my new thing to ride on now. | ||
| That's your new hook? | ||
| I'm going to ride that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's your hook? | |
| I'm going to ride that forever. | ||
| The cancer hook's a good hook. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| People love you. | ||
| Go see the guys. | ||
| Might be going soon. | ||
| You're going to be around for a while. | ||
| Keep laughing and eating healthy. | ||
| Apparently, if I get the right finger up my butt, I'll be okay. | ||
| I think we got that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If you need help. | |
| Brian has a magic finger. | ||
| Show me magic finger, Brian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| This show's over. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| A creepy ending. | ||
| Thank you to Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, makers of Alpha Brain, and now the new whole sports fitness aspect to it we have in the company with kettlebells and battle ropes and protein powders coming soon and all the questions about all the different supplements. | ||
| Go to Onnit.com. | ||
| That's O-N-N-I-T. And use the code name ROGAN, you'll get 10% off all supplements. | ||
| Doesn't count for weightlifting shit, though, because the margins on these are very low. | ||
| It's as cheap as we can possibly sell them to send cannonballs through the fucking mail. | ||
| So go check that out. | ||
| And thanks to The Fleshlight. | ||
| Go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link for The Fleshlight. | ||
| Use the codename ROGAN and save yourself 15% off the number one sex toy for men. | ||
| And thanks to Alienware Computers for constantly supporting Mixed Martial Arts. | ||
| That's why we're using them for this podcast. | ||
| Alienware isn't even a sponsor of the podcast. | ||
| We just want to thank them. | ||
| Two different guys at this past UFC were sponsored by Alienware. | ||
| Omega Madoff and I forget the other guy's name. | ||
| I think that's how you say the guy's name. | ||
| Khabib. | ||
| The guy had a crazy long-ass Russian name and he beat Gleason Tebow. | ||
| Great fighter. | ||
| And thanks to Alienware on MMA. Go to Alienware MMA on Twitter. | ||
| Yeah, Alienware MMA on Twitter. | ||
| Tommy Chong on Twitter. | ||
| Redband on Twitter. | ||
| I'm Joe Rogan. | ||
| And we'll see you tomorrow with Kevin Pereira. | ||
| And then Wednesday, we got Adam Kokesh from Adam vs. | ||
| The Man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And we also have a Wednesday Death Squad show in the main room. | |
| It's going to be a super show. | ||
| It's going to be one of the bigger shows. | ||
| And then... | ||
| Who's on it? | ||
| Who's on it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can't tell you. | |
| It's a secret. | ||
| You can tell me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a secret. | |
| Is Joe Rogan going to be on it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Joe Rogan's on it. | |
| That's right, you dirty bitches. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And Joe Rogan, you might actually also be at Comic-Con with us, right? | |
| I will. | ||
| Friday. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Friday. | |
| Tickets are on sale at AmericanComedyCo.com or DeathSquad.tv. | ||
| We're going to be there Thursday and Friday. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I think Joe's just going to be there Friday. | |
| Yeah, just on Friday. | ||
| I'll be there Friday night. | ||
| I've got to check out this Comic-Con thing and see what the fuck is going down. | ||
| Alright folks, we've got a lot of shows this week, a lot of shows next week, and a lot of people I'm still trying to get on the hook. | ||
| Thanks for all the support and all the cool vibes you send out there. | ||
| We appreciate it. | ||
| We love you guys as much as you love us. | ||
| We're not going anywhere. | ||
| We'll see you dirty bitches soon. |
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