May 29, 2012 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:37:35
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Whoever thought Ice-T would wind up being a dude in a reality show with a white chick with a big ass? | ||
| Who would have thought it would have come down to that? | ||
| Remember when you were a kid? | ||
| Original gangster in that reality show with some pretty white lady with a big ass. | ||
| Ice Cube also. | ||
| Yeah, he's like yelling at his kid's guy. | ||
| Now, that's his. | ||
| Y'all keep it down back there! | ||
| That's the new Ice Cube. | ||
| Y'all keep it down! | ||
| Damn! | ||
| The scrunchy face. | ||
| Y'all keep it down! | ||
| Damn! | ||
|
unidentified
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Damn! | |
| The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by The Fleshlight. | ||
| If you go to JoeRogan.net and click on the link for The Fleshlight, and then you enter in my last name. | ||
| They give you money, or you have to pay less money to get your freak on. | ||
| They give you 15% off. | ||
| Isn't that amazing? | ||
| It really is a great product. | ||
| It's a fucking very solid product. | ||
| I mean, that's legit. | ||
| If you're going to masturbate, it's 100 times better than your hand. | ||
| It's one of those things where people would give a shit about it, and they have from the beginning, and we don't have to name names, but certain people who might have a vested interest in my professional career, they think, well, Joe Rogan, I just don't think that's the right thing to do. | ||
| Joe Rogan, that just seems like a fucking disgusting thing to be endorsing. | ||
| And I say, how dare you? | ||
| How dare you take me, a person who has basically staked my whole fucking existence on telling the truth about everything, no matter how uncomfortable it is, and you want me to shut down the rubber pussy business? | ||
| Well, guess what? | ||
| The rubber pussy is way better than fucking your hand. | ||
| It's just better. | ||
| Guess what? | ||
| The rubber pussy is probably better than a lot of girls you've had sex with. | ||
| And that's not a joke. | ||
| It's like the best vagina ever, and it's fake. | ||
| Of course, it's not attached to a human. | ||
| It's not as good as having sex. | ||
| It's not like I'm asking you to be dehuman or anything like that. | ||
| But I'm just saying, if you're going to beat off, and you're going to beat off... | ||
| It's like dessert. | ||
| It's like vacation. | ||
| Treat yourself once in a while like a gentleman. | ||
| The only problem is you will shoot like a real sexual load. | ||
| Not like a jerking off load. | ||
| You shoot like a sex load. | ||
| So it puts you away. | ||
| You'll fall asleep. | ||
| You do have the possibility of waking up with someone screaming at you while you've got the fleshlight still on your dick and you're out cold with your pants down with your ankles. | ||
| I never thought about that, Jeb, because you really do. | ||
| When you're fucking, you have the extra pulsing of your dick. | ||
| You know, like that little extra pumping. | ||
| The extra... | ||
| Your body's convinced it's a real vagina. | ||
| Wow, you're right. | ||
| Yeah, totally. | ||
| You shoot way bigger loads. | ||
| And at the end of it, you're like... | ||
| You really crash. | ||
| So you do have more of a possibility of getting busted if you pass out like an idiot, especially if you do it in your office or something. | ||
| Here's a tip also. | ||
| If you're going to wash it off in your bathroom, I usually keep it right on my sink while it's drying and stuff. | ||
| Don't use your hair clippers anywhere near it because I got a bunch of hair all over it and it's impossible to get hair pieces off your fleshlight. | ||
| So now mine looks like it has a 5 o'clock shadow. | ||
| So it's like a 7 o'clock. | ||
| Yeah, it's creepy, dude. | ||
| It's really gross. | ||
|
unidentified
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Not even 70s. | |
| It's like the late 80s when they first started shaving. | ||
| I did Dave's Old Porn, you know the Dave Attell thing, which Dave Attell sits you down and you and him watch porn films. | ||
| And it's really funny because, first of all, Dave could watch cartoons. | ||
| He could watch anything and it's funny. | ||
| He's just hilarious. | ||
| But they're all bushy, man. | ||
| There's fucking hairy boxes. | ||
| It's really crazy. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| Do you like that? | ||
| Oh, I like that. | ||
| I'll tell you what, it doesn't bother me. | ||
| It doesn't make me sad. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I don't go, oh, I wouldn't fuck her. | ||
| Look at that crazy box. | ||
| I'd be like, look at your hair, you dirty little bitch. | ||
| They're still hot. | ||
| It doesn't make them less hot. | ||
| It's a weird aesthetic choice that we have. | ||
| We've turned... | ||
| And essentially all women have had to go into it. | ||
| It's the porno look, period. | ||
| There's no bushes anymore. | ||
| Bushes are gone. | ||
| When was the last time you even saw pubic hair? | ||
| You see little tufts, like a whisper of a pubic hair. | ||
| No one has a real bush anymore. | ||
| But they're out there. | ||
| They just hide them. | ||
| That bald monkey's fucking ugly as sin also. | ||
| That bald motherfucking monkey, at the end of it, before you stick your dick in it while you're looking at it, you're like, damn. | ||
| This thing looks like. | ||
| And you have all these images. | ||
| You even giggle at times during sex. | ||
| You look at that fucking monkey with hair. | ||
| It has a little personality to it. | ||
| Whether it's a launch pad, whether it's got that Julius Irving fucking look. | ||
| I liked it. | ||
| You get a little sweat in there. | ||
| It gives that little monkey a different patois. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Especially like she's Sicilian or something. | ||
| It smells like olive oil or something. | ||
|
unidentified
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You know what I'm saying? | |
| And the other reason why women had big bushes is because they depended more on conditioner. | ||
| Women tell they want to fucking make a move. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| They dye their head that blonde streak and they're out of the fucking house. | ||
| They don't use conditioner. | ||
| They used to condition their monkey. | ||
| Who has conditioner at the house? | ||
| A lot of girls do. | ||
| Well or Balsam. | ||
| That was old school conditioner. | ||
| You don't think girls have that shit anymore? | ||
| You put conditioner on, you wash it off and the conditioner didn't even come off. | ||
| The conditioner is like a billion dollar market, man. | ||
| There's a lot of chicks out there using conditioner. | ||
| Who the fuck knows? | ||
| Yeah, they spend shit on a money conditioner. | ||
| Me, I like a big fucking bush. | ||
| We're also brought to you by Onnit.com, makers of AlphaBrain. | ||
| That's Onnit, O-N-N-I-T. Our hemp protein should be out any day now, as is the kettlebells. | ||
| The kettlebells are very difficult to get the distribution in order. | ||
| As you can imagine, we're sending cannonballs to you. | ||
| I mean, we're sending you 70 pound fucking cannonballs. | ||
| And bigger. | ||
| Some of them are even bigger than 70 pounds. | ||
| They're ridiculous. | ||
| And the other crazy kettlebells, I'll tell you about that in the future. | ||
| So the hemp protein is coming out. | ||
| All that coming out very soon. | ||
| Alpha Brain is the number one product. | ||
| The biggest one that I use that comes out of honor.com. | ||
| It's the one that I literally, if I go on the road and I don't have it with me, I go, fuck! | ||
| I get angry. | ||
| I'm curious, actually, about the Alpha Brain. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I took it today. | ||
| I've got to get you some of it. | ||
| I'll get you some of it so you can try it for yourself and tell me what you think. | ||
| You have a pretty extensive experience in supplements, so I would say you'd be a good guy to give it to. | ||
| Have you ever fucked around with nootropics? | ||
|
unidentified
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A little bit. | |
| A little bit, yeah? | ||
| Do you ever try Romanowski stuff? | ||
| Not yet. | ||
| I actually have it saved from listening to you guys, listening to you talk about it. | ||
| His is really good. | ||
| His has a little bit of caffeine too. | ||
| So if you want to be... | ||
| I believe it does. | ||
| I want him to misspeak. | ||
| But it's called Neuro Run and I recommend that as well. | ||
| By the way, the ingredients to Alpha Brain, if you're like, oh, it's too expensive, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| Look, steal the ingredients. | ||
| It's real simple. | ||
| You can see them on the bottles. | ||
| It's listed online. | ||
| Go there. | ||
| Find out what it is. | ||
| Buy it in bulk. | ||
| Save yourself some money. | ||
| I swear to God, if you're happy and you're feeling good from all this stuff and you're experiencing a benefit from nootropics, I don't even care. | ||
|
unidentified
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We're much more concerned. | |
| I just took them right there. | ||
| We're much more concerned with people not feeling ripped off. | ||
| This is also why we have a 100% money back guarantee on the first order of 30 pills that you buy. | ||
| When you buy it, you try it out, you go, I don't feel like that was worth it. | ||
| You don't even have to send it back. | ||
| You just tell us and you get your money back. | ||
| We're trying as hard as humanly possible to not rip anybody off and to sell something that I believe in and that I've been using for a long time. | ||
| I'm a big advocate of nutrition. | ||
| I'm a big advocate of vitamins and supplements and eating healthy foods and a lot of fresh vegetables and get your phytonutrients in and healthy bacteria in your body like probiotics. | ||
| I'm a big fan of acidophilus and I'm a big fan of nootropics. | ||
| If you're interested in any of this stuff, please Google it. | ||
| It's N-O-O-T-R-O-P-I-C. That's the word, nootropic. | ||
| A lot of controversy on it. | ||
| Both sides have interesting arguments. | ||
| For me, I've had excellent results. | ||
| I believe in them 100%, and that's why I endorse Onnit, and that's why Onnit is a sponsor of the podcast. | ||
| There's a bunch of different other supplements on it. | ||
| One of them is called Shroom Tech Sport. | ||
| There's going to be a big two-page article about that in Fighters Only. | ||
| I'm excited about that. | ||
| They just sent it to me the other day. | ||
| People fucking love it. | ||
| It's one of the best supplements I have ever used as far as endurance, as far as giving you energy while you work out. | ||
| It's got cordyceps mushrooms in it and a ton of B12 and a lot of other shit. | ||
| Like I said, if you can find the ingredients, go steal it. | ||
| Steal the ingredients. | ||
| Make your own shit, dude. | ||
| Save some money. | ||
| But if you don't want to save any money, go to Onnit.com. | ||
| If you want to save 10%, use the code name ROGAN and you get 10% off any... | ||
| In all orders. | ||
| Yeah, if you're like, I don't give a fuck, yo. | ||
| I'm that kind of baller. | ||
| There's some people that just won't cut coupons. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Alright, that's it, folks. | ||
| Mike Dolce is here, and we're gonna get to the bottom of shit. | ||
| The food you eat, motherfuckers. | ||
|
unidentified
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Boom. | |
| The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
| Train by day. | ||
| Joe Rogan Podcast by night. | ||
| All day. | ||
| Also joining us, of course, is the one and only Mad Flavor, a.k.a. | ||
| Joey Coco Diaz. | ||
| And I have here something that everybody has to try. | ||
| It's Grillo's Pickles. | ||
| It's these pickles from Boston. | ||
| They send them to me in the mail. | ||
| These are the best fucking pickles known to human beings. | ||
| Known to human beings. | ||
| They're fresh, and they make them, and they send them from Boston. | ||
| And this is the spicy ones. | ||
| It's Grillo's Pickles. | ||
| You've got to try one of these motherfuckers. | ||
|
unidentified
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For real. | |
| This shit's legit. | ||
| Mike Dolce knows about food. | ||
| Mike Dolce, you are a nutritional consultant to all these various MMA fighters and probably the most famous one, certainly the most famous one by a long shot. | ||
| I can't think of anybody who has gotten so many different fighters on track as far as nutrition, as far as getting their weight in order. | ||
| So many guys like Tiago Alves who had always had problems. | ||
| Getting on weight. | ||
| Once he started working with you, no problems. | ||
| What got you into this? | ||
| Do you have a background in nutrition from college? | ||
| How many do you know so much about it? | ||
| Just from reading books? | ||
| From experience, life experience, education, of course. | ||
| I've been focused on this my whole life, since I was a kid. | ||
| Since I was in single digits, actually, which I think Joey might reference. | ||
|
unidentified
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Since you were a little kid, you just liked nutrition? | |
| Goddammit, these pickles are good. | ||
| How good are these fucking pickles? | ||
| Give me some of those pickles, Joe. | ||
| You fucked up. | ||
| You had to have something to go with them, though. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like a tofu burger or something. | ||
|
unidentified
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Like a steak. | |
| Something to go with it? | ||
| Pastrami or something delicious. | ||
| I didn't bring you something to go with it? | ||
| That's what you're upset? | ||
| You're in front of Mike Dolce and you're talking about eating pastrami. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| I'm mashing on this pickle though. | ||
| It's pretty good. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| You gave him the wrong credit. | ||
| You said, you know, how do you get him from nutrition? | ||
| Number one, he's from motherfucking Belmar, New Jersey. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| If you don't know about food and you're from Belmar, you should shoot yourself in the fucking head. | ||
| That's where a bunch of shit was invented. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Nobody gives you ranch dressing in Belmar. | ||
| Drop it for me, though. | ||
| Ranch dressing. | ||
| Yeah, I still don't understand. | ||
| Is ranch dressing bad for you? | ||
| Why do you serve it with french fries? | ||
| Some people like it. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| White people like it. | ||
| That's not allowed on the east coast. | ||
| I don't mind it. | ||
| Yeah, it's a white people thing. | ||
| White people. | ||
| Some people, well, people with, I don't know, people with those little duller tones to them, you know? | ||
| Duller personalities like, oh, it's almost nothing. | ||
| It's almost like you're just eating raw fat. | ||
| I'm more creeped out about people that like Thousand Island. | ||
| I think that's more creepy. | ||
| Yeah, that's nasty. | ||
| That's something you like when you're a little kid because you think you're getting away with something because it tastes almost sweet. | ||
| It's like ketchup. | ||
| Ketchup is like a dessert. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| Ketchup is a fruit. | ||
| Tomato is a fruit. | ||
| A lot of people don't even realize that. | ||
| I like ketchup. | ||
| There's certain types, right? | ||
| That's why everybody likes ketchup. | ||
| Ketchup is all sugar. | ||
| You're getting sugary, sweet, some weird fucking vegetable that's been mashed up and you stick your french fries into. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Delicious. | ||
| It's fucking good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But probably not so good for you, right? | ||
| Ketchup is actually, depending. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, get it from organic sources. | ||
| Make sure you limit the processing. | ||
| Most important. | ||
| Anything is good for you if you take out the processing. | ||
| And the processing is needed to preserve these things? | ||
| Sometimes. | ||
| Or the processing is needed to turn a batch of chemicals into a food substitute that actually tastes like something from the earth. | ||
|
unidentified
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Whoa. | |
| That would be processing. | ||
| Does that scare you when you see shit like that going down? | ||
| It scares the hell out of me, man. | ||
| It gets me out of bed every day. | ||
| It keeps me like, that's all I see and it's all I focus on. | ||
| What do you think about all this genetically modified foods? | ||
| Are you into that at all? | ||
| Do you understand too much about that? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| That's the end of the planet. | ||
| That's the end of the Earth, I think, is the modification, the alteration of our DNA, of the human race, let's say, through new food sources. | ||
| Unrecognized, maybe. | ||
| Unassimilated. | ||
| And further reactions happen within the human body that we may or may not understand yet because of that. | ||
| Yeah, we don't even know what the fuck the genetically modified crops are doing to people, right? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| But they're in abundance and they're inexpensive and they taste good, so... | ||
| Yeah, and they're poisoning other crops. | ||
| They're infiltrating. | ||
| Their seeds or whatever the fuck it is gets in the air and it gets to other people's land somehow or another. | ||
| And these people, they get cross-pollinated. | ||
| And so they started growing these genetically modified crops unbeknownst to them. | ||
| And then they get sued by Monsanto, which is incredible. | ||
| The crazy thing about those Monsanto things is you can't even get seeds from them. | ||
| You know, like you buy the corn. | ||
| It's like the way it used to be is you would buy corn, you get the seeds from that corn itself, plant it and make new corn. | ||
| Like that's how plants work. | ||
| Monsanto, they don't roll like that. | ||
| They don't roll like that. | ||
| You ain't getting no seeds, bitch. | ||
| You don't get seeds. | ||
| You don't get seeds. | ||
| They don't make seeds. | ||
| Their seeds make food and then you own it next year. | ||
| You own it this year. | ||
| You buy the seeds for the year. | ||
| So if you have some plants and you think you're gonna just go old school American Indian style and just take the seeds from them and we'll harvest and we'll create a beautiful sustainable environment. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| You'll buy this every year. | ||
| Yeah, we got you, bitch. | ||
| At our price. | ||
| And there's so many dudes that are committing suicide in third world countries that have been rooked into doing this shit with Monsanto. | ||
| I think they have a huge problem in India, I believe it was. | ||
| There's a lot of suicide. | ||
| Let me actually look that up. | ||
| But I'm pretty sure that's what it is. | ||
| Suicides from their depressed stat. | ||
| They get stuck with these loans, yeah. | ||
| Thousands of farmers are committing suicide. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, this is crazy, man. | ||
| But what's happening is they essentially go in economic hitman style and offer these people seeds and sort of take over the situation and make sure that these people are using their stuff. | ||
| And then the farmers, they get stuck owing fuckloads of money. | ||
| And they can't pay it. | ||
| So is it illegal for them to own other seeds? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You know, I'd have to find out. | ||
| I mean, if that's the case, they get really fucked over by their country. | ||
| But I'm reading an article about it right now. | ||
| Just Google... | ||
| What did I Google? | ||
| Just Google India Monsanto suicide, and there's a bunch of different... | ||
| Don't say butthole, Brian. | ||
| That's stupid. | ||
| That was only funny the first 3,000 times you said it. | ||
| Yeah, fuck, man. | ||
| It's really scary. | ||
| But there's all sorts of different crops and seeds that Monsanto apparently... | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Wow. | ||
| There's thousands of fucking suicides. | ||
| This is really scary shit. | ||
| They're saying that it's at least 200,000 suicides in India connected to Monsanto. | ||
| Wrap your head around that shit. | ||
| 200,000 people have committed suicide because Monsanto has got them into the seed game. | ||
| Got you into the seed game, bitch. | ||
| Oh, you need my seeds. | ||
| Oh, you got a baby that's crying? | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, man, you need my seeds. | |
| Monsanto's just running shit. | ||
| That's really pretty scary. | ||
| How big of a company are they? | ||
| Oh, they're enormous. | ||
| They're so enormous that Blackwater was sold to someone, and they don't know who it was. | ||
| And one of the people in the running was Monsanto. | ||
| They believed that Monsanto was interested in Blackwater. | ||
| If that's the case, that means the biggest food company in the world has the biggest mercenary group under the world working for them. | ||
| Gangster. | ||
| That's as gangster as you get, man. | ||
| That's as gangster as you get. | ||
| They hired some mercs. | ||
| They're like, you know, we're just taking over the world by selling them fucking shitty seeds. | ||
| They're taking over the world! | ||
|
unidentified
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Woo! | |
| And they got their own army, by the way. | ||
| And not just any army. | ||
| The scariest one in the world. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| We live in a crazy world, man. | ||
| We live in a movie. | ||
| We really do. | ||
| We live in some crazy gangster movie. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| So, back to the food. | ||
| You get these fighters. | ||
| So, what do you do, basically? | ||
| You write out all their nutrition, everything they can eat, what time they eat it, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| No. | ||
| It depends on the athlete. | ||
| Number one, it depends on the person, what their goal is. | ||
| So the first thing I do is I fly out there and I shadow on for a few days. | ||
| Hang out with them Friday, Saturday, Sunday. | ||
| Hang out with them. | ||
| Hang out with their family. | ||
| Stay in their guest room, whatever. | ||
| And I just lay back and I watch and I see. | ||
| And then we start to talk. | ||
| Build a relationship. | ||
| And I start to fill in the cracks. | ||
| I troubleshoot. | ||
| Eat that instead of this. | ||
| You know, you got training at 11. You wake up 1045 every day. | ||
| How much of a daddy do you have to be? | ||
| Does that fall into play? | ||
| Or I wouldn't say daddy. | ||
| Let me say how much of a... | ||
| How much of an older brother? | ||
| How much of a situation where these guys, they're looking for someone to help them? | ||
| A life coach. | ||
| A life coach is the most respectful way of putting it. | ||
| That's the most respectful way. | ||
| It's amazing how many fighters need someone to tell them what to do. | ||
| There's a lot of guys who are super independent, but there's a lot of guys who aren't that independent at all. | ||
| And they essentially need someone to tell them what to do in order for them to shut that aspect of their brain off and be successful. | ||
| Yeah, it's... | ||
| I do as a coach. | ||
| I'm a full-time coach. | ||
| I coach in certain areas. | ||
| Some guys I actually do develop that brother type of bond with, but it's not every guy. | ||
| Because professionally, I work with a bunch of guys. | ||
| You only have so much emotional output. | ||
| Without naming any names, what's the most difficult situation that you have to encounter? | ||
| It's the people around the athlete. | ||
| In a coach relationship, one-on-one, it's like you're working with your Muay Thai coach. | ||
| You're in the room. | ||
| Nobody's there. | ||
| You hear everything. | ||
| You do everything. | ||
| You respond to everything. | ||
| And the more people in that room are talking, the less you're going to retain the technique and execute the technique. | ||
| Same thing with the things that I do. | ||
| Yeah, that's just like, you know, performing on stage. | ||
| If you're performing on stage and someone's talking in the background, that shit's annoying. | ||
| If you're training and there's a bunch of people in the room, people don't realize that. | ||
| Like training, especially training to fight, that's like, that requires all of your fucking attention. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And everybody treats it like it's no big deal. | ||
| Like you're out there just, even if you were playing pool, if you were lined up on a difficult shot and a bunch of people were talking, you'd be like, will you shut the fuck up? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And nobody's punching you in the face. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Kicking you in the face in front of millions of people when your mortgage is on the line when you're playing pool. | ||
| And they got a bunch of yes men. | ||
| So that's what it is? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I mean, everybody has, we all have yes men, right, in our own way, and it's the motivation, or it's what's best for the athlete at that given time. | ||
| You know, some athletes need some yes men around them just to keep their confidence up and keep their lifestyle secure. | ||
| But it's the people that are kind of pushing in the wrong areas at that given point, you know, eight weeks before a fight, six, four, two, you know, the closer you get, the less room for inefficiency, I think you have. | ||
| So you kind of I think I help with some guys eliminate that. | ||
| And sometimes it's through nutrition. | ||
| Sometimes it's through training too much, too little, sleep patterns, just perception. | ||
| And sometimes it's other aspects of the team. | ||
| Maybe not it's external, it's internal. | ||
| The striking coach or the wrestling coach or one coach wants to do too much or all the coaches want to do too much. | ||
| So being that I'm with the athlete more often, I can see what their recuperation level is, how they're performing daily and kind of moderate the peaking, let's say, or the intensity and the volume of the overall training session. | ||
| So when you go to these different camps, do you see like a constant paradigm like replaying itself over and over again or one guy's trying to get in control of the camp and the other guy's trying to push that guy out? | ||
| Do you see like a lot of that psychological bullshit that goes on behind the scenes? | ||
| Yeah, but I don't think it's any different in a fight camp than it is in a family or an office environment or the PTA. That's probably worse, but it's everywhere. | ||
| I'm blessed that a lot of the teams that I work with, I'm fortunate enough to work with, there's none of that. | ||
| We all respect each other as professionals. | ||
| The athlete's the boss. | ||
| I call it the Microsoft structure. | ||
| The athlete is Bill Gates. | ||
| I'm the best damn keyboard builder in the world. | ||
| That's what I do, and that's all I want to do. | ||
| I can certainly help the guy that's building the monitor in the office next to me, but I'm the best keyboard guy, and we'll communicate around the board, and we'll give everything to the man on top. | ||
| He makes the decisions. | ||
| I don't think people realize the importance for a fighter of having a strong and professional team. | ||
| Having people that are not bullshit artists, they're not charlatans, they're not egomaniacs, they know what the fuck they're doing, they're professionals. | ||
| That's what they're there for. | ||
| And everybody has a job, be it a nutritionist, be it a strength and conditioning coach. | ||
| Everyone is the real fucking deal. | ||
| That's a real jiu-jitsu coach. | ||
| This is a real Muay Thai coach. | ||
| And, you know, one of the things that's driving me crazy is all these fighters that are getting injured, like Dominic Cruz got injured, because they're all training together all in one room. | ||
| Dominic Cruz is preparing to defend his fucking bantamweight world title, and his knee gets blown out because someone lands on him. | ||
| That's fucked up. | ||
| You're talking about someone he's not training with, if people don't understand this. | ||
| He's training with one person, they're sparring, and next to him, two other dudes are working out and they collide into the champ. | ||
| First of all, those dudes are idiots. | ||
| Those dudes, whoever the fuck was driving that takedown was an idiot. | ||
| Whoever the fuck was defending it was an idiot. | ||
| Those guys are right next to a guy who's preparing to fucking train for his world title. | ||
| I shouldn't say they're idiots. | ||
| I should say I've done the same thing. | ||
| It's an idiotic move. | ||
| You should be way the fuck away from that guy. | ||
| That happened to Rashad. | ||
| It's happened to a couple guys. | ||
| That's some Bush League shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Small mistake and a huge, huge price to pay, right? | ||
| Yeah, I shouldn't have said that guys who are training are idiots. | ||
| What I should say is it's an idiotic way to set up a room. | ||
| It's an idiotic way to set up a training room when a guy's training for the fucking world title. | ||
| Period. | ||
| It's crazy bush league. | ||
| Like, I hear it. | ||
| It drives me nuts. | ||
| When you come to a camp, you're obviously brought in for nutrition, but if you see some other bullshit, some things that you need to deal with, some things that you'd say to the athlete, here's your problem. | ||
| You have this big social drama going on, and you've got to pick a side and stick with that, and then be done with this. | ||
| Because otherwise, you're dealing with this fucking social shit, and that's taking up resources that you could be using to train and concentrate on your opponent. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| So are you the guy who goes to the athlete? | ||
| Immediately. | ||
| I go to everybody. | ||
| I go to the athlete. | ||
| I go to the person involved. | ||
| And we speak about it. | ||
| We're professionals. | ||
| It's not emotional. | ||
| It's professional. | ||
| And you have the luxury of really being so requested that you don't have to worry about this one guy who's going to fire you because you upset his friend. | ||
| No. | ||
| His butt got hurt. | ||
| No, I think the people that I work with... | ||
| They called you in for a fucking reason. | ||
| They brought me there. | ||
| They called you in for a reason. | ||
| There's something not right. | ||
| You know, we don't know if it's nutrition, whatever. | ||
| They called you in for a reason. | ||
| Have you ever been in a situation where a fighter's got like a crazy fucking old lady? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| Every fighter's got a crazy old lady. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| And you got to step and go, come in for a second, dog. | ||
| This chick, she got to go. | ||
| And right there, that's a fucking nightmare. | ||
| I have heard some things that were so shocking... | ||
| From dudes who were like the baddest motherfuckers. | ||
|
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|
Baddest motherfuckers. | |
| You would think this dude ain't taking no shit from nobody. | ||
| And, you know, night before his fight, his girlfriend wants to fucking fight all night and won't let him sleep and keeps waking him up and fucking with him, calling him a loser and leaves in the middle of the night and doesn't say where he's going. | ||
| He can't go back to sleep. | ||
| He's calling her phone. | ||
| She won't answer. | ||
| They're in Vegas. | ||
| This bitch just went out at 5 a.m. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And these guys have to fight the next day and deal with it. | ||
| Because... | ||
| A lot of... | ||
| To become a professional athlete, to become a guy especially who wants to be a cage fighter, you know, a lot of these people are, you know, they're the type of impulsive athletes that attract crazy broads. | ||
| Because crazy broads do nutty shit, like, you know... | ||
| You know, they'll suck your dick like 10 minutes after meeting you and you're like, whoa, this bitch is hot. | ||
| This is nuts. | ||
| Well, she's crazy. | ||
| She's fucking crazy. | ||
| And then the crazy impulsiveness that made her blow you in a bathroom, that's not what leads to a good relationship. | ||
|
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Absolutely. | |
| That girl's a freak. | ||
| You know, you got to get the fuck away from her. | ||
| You're not supposed to have kids with her. | ||
| Move her in. | ||
| Yeah, but a lot of these guys that move her in, they have kids with them. | ||
| You've got to be careful. | ||
| And I'm not saying don't do it, but I'm saying be careful. | ||
| You've got to be careful of that all-in relationship where you meet somebody and right away the girl's all-in and the guy's all-in. | ||
| And the two of you are like, I love you, I love you. | ||
| You spend 15 hours a day with each other every day. | ||
| That guy, that's your manager. | ||
| I don't like how he talks to you. | ||
| Meanwhile, you got Greg Jackson. | ||
| I don't like him. | ||
| I don't like his eyes. | ||
| I don't trust him. | ||
| I think my father-in-law should train you. | ||
| He's a Vietnam veteran. | ||
| They always want to separate you from the herd. | ||
| It's amazing you having to go to somebody and go, because you've got to be straight up. | ||
| There's no fucking beating around the bush. | ||
| Listen, I've seen the behavior. | ||
| First of all, what are you doing at the gym with a fucking nightie on? | ||
| Because there's shit that you can't even believe you walk in. | ||
| And it's not that the fighters are fucked up. | ||
| It's that they have little things that you're tightening up. | ||
| We all can have somebody come into our lives and say, hey dog, you're going to start getting up at 7.00. | ||
| You got to start eating at 6.15, which makes a lot of sense. | ||
| One of the things in your book that I told Joe about, I go, I can't get fucking used to this Dolce water before fucking coffee shit. | ||
| Every time I drink water in the morning, first off, I got a cramp in my stomach. | ||
| Like pills or vitamins in the morning. | ||
| What does it explain what you're talking about? | ||
| Why do you have to drink water before coffee? | ||
| To jump the metabolism. | ||
| Mike in his book says to drink coffee after your meal. | ||
| I think the first time I read it was the water first to get your metabolism going, which makes sense. | ||
| It makes a lot of sense. | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| How does water get your metabolism going? | ||
| What does it do? | ||
| So you push the water through your body to start the digestive process to start working, to prepare your digestive environment for the food that's next to come. | ||
| So now you put the nutrients into the body. | ||
| We get the metabolism start to work, start to process. | ||
| And then if you're a coffee drinker, then you can have some coffee, which is acidic. | ||
| So you want something already down there to not increase or overload the digestive system with the acidity, which is harsh. | ||
| We all know. | ||
| You have a little bit of cough, you have an empty stomach, and you're jacked up for days. | ||
| Well, now the next six hours are running. | ||
| You've got to train in two hours. | ||
| So you start your day on the proper note. | ||
| Whether you go in an office, it doesn't matter. | ||
| Going to the office or going to the gym to train, it doesn't matter. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| What do you think about coffee for athletes before they compete? | ||
| Is that okay? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| I'm sipping on one right now. | ||
| A lot of guys jack themselves up with caffeine before they fight, right? | ||
| As long as they're used to it. | ||
| Nothing that they haven't been doing in the last three weeks. | ||
| All of a sudden, guys fight night. | ||
| They want to drink an energy drink or this new pill. | ||
| Then your heart will beat too fast. | ||
| You can't calm yourself down. | ||
| We can't predict what the result's going to be. | ||
| We haven't tested it in the gym. | ||
| Yeah, when I was talking to Chael Sonnen, he was talking about how he uses those little Vibrin-type caffeine pills, which are legal. | ||
| He knows what the legal dose is. | ||
| And that way, when he's taking the pills, he never has to worry. | ||
| Because if you drink a 20-ounce Starbucks, a lot of folks don't know, you might like... | ||
| Piss hot for caffeine. | ||
|
unidentified
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Caffeine. | |
| You only can have a certain amount. | ||
| Caffeine is a weird performance enhancing drug in that it's legal. | ||
| You're allowed to drink caffeine, but you're only allowed to drink a certain amount of it. | ||
| It's really fascinating, isn't it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Folks don't know. | ||
| We got our coffee from Lovebirds Cafe and Bakery. | ||
| Very nice place down the street. | ||
| A nice mom and pop shop here in Pasadena. | ||
| But you go to Starbucks and you get one of them Ventis. | ||
| That's a lot of goddamn caffeine. | ||
| Ventis? | ||
| Way more caffeine. | ||
| Trenta, baby. | ||
| I've been doing Trentas. | ||
| But I think that's a lot of ice, buddy. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I do light ice. | ||
| Trenta iced coffee unsweetened every single day. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Is that as strong as a regular coffee? | ||
| Yeah, it's stronger, actually, because they actually make it stronger because the ice is supposed to melt it. | ||
| You're going to die. | ||
| And so if they just did regular coffee... | ||
| So it's actually, yeah, it's stronger. | ||
| Well, you would not be able to fight in the UFC, for sure. | ||
| If you did, you would get Keith Kaiser up your ass. | ||
| Yeah, that would be my excuse for not fighting in the UFC. Yeah, I do two-inch coffee. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Isn't it funny that you can't smoke weed, but you can smoke cigarettes? | ||
| You don't test hot for cigarettes. | ||
| This is hilarious. | ||
| They're looking out for you. | ||
| Fucking idiots. | ||
|
unidentified
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Ridiculous. | |
| You can't smoke legal weed, either. | ||
| Nick Diaz has a goddamn prescription. | ||
| And, by the way, the prescription carries over to Nevada. | ||
| Nevada has medical marijuana, too. | ||
| So why do you have to apply for some exemption? | ||
| It's so ridiculous. | ||
| It's so silly. | ||
| As long as you're not fighting high. | ||
| And you can take pills, you know? | ||
| Different medical pills, psychological pills you can take during the training. | ||
| In less time, you're closer to the fight than you could marijuana. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know how long it takes to cycle off Adderall, but I do know that fighters have been told they can't fight on it. | ||
| On Adderall? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like Xanax, Fight Week? | ||
| Yeah, how many days does that wear off? | ||
| I don't know the life of it specifically, but I know guys can be on it Fight Week and test fine and be legal. | ||
| On the up and up, disclose everything, it's no problem. | ||
| I've never done Xanax, but from what I understand, one of the problems with Xanax is although it alleviates anxiety, there's sort of a rubber band effect. | ||
| And after it wears off, you're more anxious than you were even before you took it. | ||
| And it sticks into your fucking fat. | ||
| So if you take 10 milligrams of Valium, your body only really uses 5. The only five, the other five go into your body and sit there. | ||
| So the next morning when you wake up and you blow those two hits to take a ride to fucking work, those two hits of that fucking number are stronger than what they usually are. | ||
| Because Valium sits in your fat and your body releases it as it needs it. | ||
| So it might need it to fall asleep, but then it holds on to the rest. | ||
| That's what I don't like about Valium. | ||
| You have that hangover the next day. | ||
| Any of those things are fucking horrible. | ||
| Ambion... | ||
| Terrible. | ||
| I mean, people buying cars, people cooking fucking meals and going shopping. | ||
| Who the fuck goes shopping and forgets they go shopping? | ||
| Who the fuck cooks a meal? | ||
| They say, yeah, well, that's what happens when you do Ambien. | ||
| I have a whole bit about it in my act because it's true. | ||
| A friend of mine did make a fucking turkey. | ||
| Made a turkey while he was on Ambien. | ||
| I do a bit about it in my act. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| Doesn't remember going to the supermarket. | ||
| Totally legal. | ||
| Made a fucking turkey! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think all the anxiety medication in the market is bullshit. | ||
| I think if you go to acupuncture and meditate, it would do the same. | ||
| It would do all the same things. | ||
| You say that, man, but your circumstances are not everyone else's circumstances. | ||
| I would never say that some people don't need an anti-anxiety medication. | ||
| Whatever situation they're in, I wouldn't say it's bullshit. | ||
| I did not say that. | ||
| I said the ones I was prescribed were fucking horrific. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Horrific to the point where I gave them to Sergio Love and this motherfucker called me the next day and said, dog, whatever was in that shit is bad. | ||
| When Sergio Love called me, I told you this other part, he's a friend of mine. | ||
| Yeah, you told me you gave him medication. | ||
| Great guy. | ||
| And I was taking these things. | ||
| I'm going, I'm feeling fucked up on these anxiety pills. | ||
| I got these from Bob Hope. | ||
| This is the SAG doctor. | ||
| They're not going to give me shit. | ||
| So it takes away your anxiety by making you feel like shit? | ||
| Oh, I was feeling depressed. | ||
| I was feeling like everything was very moody. | ||
| While you were on it when you came off. | ||
| Yeah, when I was on it, I felt like I was dark. | ||
| I couldn't do comedy. | ||
| What do you mean by dark? | ||
| I felt like I was in a fucking black and white movie. | ||
| That's hard to describe to people. | ||
| You feel like you're in a black and white movie. | ||
| And something wasn't right. | ||
| I was taking two afternoon naps. | ||
| Something wasn't right. | ||
| And I said one night, wait a second, I got a test monkey. | ||
| I got my boy Sergio. | ||
| I called this motherfucker up because I've seen my boy eat 10-10s. | ||
| I've seen them eat four 10s at one shot. | ||
| Anybody who eats four 10s and at the end of the night says, I eat 13 10s, you're a savage. | ||
| It takes a missile to knock that motherfucker's head off. | ||
| Chuck Liddell ain't going nowhere. | ||
| You're going to be pounding that motherfucker for hours. | ||
| 13 10s? | ||
| Are you fucking kidding me? | ||
| Yeah, you do a little blow to mix it up a little bit. | ||
|
unidentified
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Wait a minute, wait a minute. | |
| 13 10 milligrams of valium. | ||
| What does one do? | ||
| One, it'll fucking knock you out from here to England. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| How is he taking 13? | ||
| But when you're drinking and you're drinking and you're adrenaline. | ||
| How's he still alive? | ||
| Well, it goes into your fat. | ||
| He's kind of a big guy. | ||
| He's a big guy. | ||
| But the fucking funny thing was that when he called me the next day and said it was fucked up, I was like, I just flushed him. | ||
| And I said, that's it. | ||
| Even though I have a fear of needles, I'm going to hit this acupuncture. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Let me give it a shot. | ||
|
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That's right. | |
| I don't understand people who need to get happy because I'm happy. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| But I know people that have been unhappy. | ||
| I don't understand the desire to try to achieve happiness because I'm a happy person. | ||
| I surround myself with happy people. | ||
| I do what I want to do for a living. | ||
| I got a lot of loved ones. | ||
| Happiness. | ||
| That's happiness to me. | ||
| I know people, though, that just got stuck in a fucking bad place. | ||
| And they're not bad people. | ||
| They just got stuck in a bad place. | ||
| And I know that anti-anxiety medication and I know that antidepressants have a place in this world. | ||
| The real problem is corruption. | ||
| The real problem is these fucking asshole doctors that want to prescribe it for everyone that doesn't feel good that day. | ||
| I mean, they'll try to prescribe that shit. | ||
| There's some unscrupulous motherfuckers. | ||
| We know they get kickbacks from pharmaceutical companies. | ||
| We know that pharmaceutical representatives, they take them out to dinners. | ||
| I know this because Mrs. Rogan's mom is a nurse. | ||
| I've seen how that whole business works. | ||
| It's creepy as fuck, man. | ||
| They advertise these fucking things on TV, man. | ||
| They have them in magazines. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| You're right, Joe. | ||
| I fucked up. | ||
| But I also think that people should try every other avenue before they go on. | ||
| That's for fuck sure. | ||
| That's for fuck sure. | ||
| They should try everything from exercise to meditating to yoga to the needles. | ||
| I don't give a fuck if the lombata helps you. | ||
| Anything is better than getting caught into that cycle. | ||
| What I'm trying to say by saying that I'm happy is that I'm not saying I've always been happy. | ||
| I was very dark early in my life. | ||
| When I was young, when I was in my early 20s and my teens, I was not a happy person by any stretch of the imagination, not even remotely. | ||
| But I knew it was possible. | ||
| And because you manage your life the correct way, because you get to a situation where you have a lot of good fortune and you have a lot of good friends, literally your mental state becomes a happier mental state. | ||
| What people don't understand is a lot of the reason why you feel like shit is because your life fucking sucks. | ||
| And you're supposed to feel like shit to motivate you to get the fuck out of the life you're in. | ||
| Whether it's a relationship, whether it's a job, whatever the situation is that sucks. | ||
| Whatever the thing is inside you that's rotting you out from the inside. | ||
| Whether it's you wanted to do something else but you didn't have the balls to pursue it. | ||
| You wanted another girl but you couldn't keep her because you're a liar. | ||
| Whatever the fuck it is that eats at you, you gotta straighten that shit out or you will never be happy. | ||
| You can't just flood yourself with chemicals and trick your brains thinking that this reality is acceptable because that's not really what's going on. | ||
| What's going on is you know that you haven't done the best that you can do. | ||
| It's about choices. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What about the fighter that's fighting for the championship of the world on Saturday? | ||
| And two weeks before he's fighting for the championship of the world, he starts thinking about his childhood for whatever fucking stupid reason. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And something his father said to him he wasn't good. | ||
| And all of a sudden, because people have gone into funks before big things. | ||
| Because your mind... | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who? | |
| How your mind works in mysterious ways. | ||
| But who are you talking about? | ||
| I'm not talking about anybody in fucking particular. | ||
| I thought you were talking about a real situation. | ||
| I'm talking about how your mind works. | ||
| We both read The Art of War, The War of Art. | ||
| And what that guy says, how a writer will surround himself with obstacles. | ||
| We'll put natural obstacles in front of ourselves to make us feel, you know. | ||
| And your mind does take into dark places. | ||
| It's our own fucking personal resistance. | ||
| We know it's good for us and we won't fucking do it. | ||
| But it's really weird how I can't imagine a fighter, a comic. | ||
| You know, a lot of these comics towards the end. | ||
| A lot of these fighters towards the end also. | ||
| I mean, the punches in the head and the mind and insecurities. | ||
| They fucking spin around, bro. | ||
| And once you get insecurity in the mix, you have to go talk to somebody or... | ||
| It's an ego. | ||
| It's all mixed in that same fucking thing. | ||
| The ego works two fucking ways, man. | ||
| Unquestionably, the ego works two ways. | ||
| It's a dance. | ||
| And I think a big part of the dance is you got to put out an overwhelming abundance of positive energy. | ||
| I think that's the way to avoid all the funk and all the bad feelings. | ||
| You've got to put out an overwhelming amount of positive energy. | ||
| If you do that, you have like a surplus out there. | ||
| And then even the negative shit that comes out, it just slides right off you. | ||
| Because you've got so much good stuff coming your way. | ||
| That's the choices. | ||
| Yeah, the choices. | ||
| You make a positive choice, you make a negative choice. | ||
| The more positive you make, the more you're surrounded by positive. | ||
| And the more positive your situation is, your lifestyle, the people around you, and then the energy. | ||
| Now you're, like you, you're a happy guy because you're You're a positive guy. | ||
| You surround yourself with positive people. | ||
| You do positive things. | ||
| You move forward like that. | ||
| You, in a parallel universe, could be negative just because you woke up one day and you had cornflakes instead of your grain smoothie. | ||
| And then you kind of were with a bunch of people and they're smoking cigarettes in the car and they're listening to this song that you don't like and you're stuck in traffic and your day kind of goes shit even more. | ||
| And then there's no coffee at the coffee spot. | ||
| You don't have time to get there because you're late for the meeting. | ||
| Your day keeps spiraling farther and farther on that negative route and then it kind of keeps going that way. | ||
| And that's where a lot of people fall off track. | ||
| I deal with a lot of people that are unhappy because they're overweight, but why are they overweight? | ||
| They're overweight because they're unhappy, so they emotionally eat, or they know that they're not making good decisions, so they don't feel like they deserve good things, so they kind of inflict negative situations on themselves, eat bad things, smoke cigarettes, hang out with bad people, and they're kind of caught in that funk. | ||
| But it's easy to get out of that funk with a decision. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I'm going to leave. | ||
| I'm going to walk out. | ||
| I'm going to go there. | ||
| I'm going to drink some water. | ||
| I'm going to step out in the sunshine. | ||
| I'm going to the gym and then call my mom just to say hello. | ||
| I'm going to give my wife a kiss or whatever the heck it is. | ||
| You start making those little positive decisions and boom. | ||
| The next thing you know, you're happy. | ||
| And every day you're more and more happy and you're successful. | ||
| Whether you're a writer or an entrepreneur or whatever the heck you are. | ||
| You do dishes. | ||
| You love what you do. | ||
| You're more successful. | ||
| And everything starts to grow and explode from there. | ||
| You know, the fat train's a motherfucker. | ||
| And you just described it. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| The fat train's a motherfucker. | ||
| Because even if you ate dinner twice, even if you ate dinner twice at 11, you're like, I gotta eat again. | ||
| Cheesecake. | ||
| It's a fucking earthquake. | ||
| Ice cream. | ||
|
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|
What? | |
| You know, it's just your mind works. | ||
| You think like that? | ||
| I have to eat again? | ||
| No, I'm just saying that you never fucking know. | ||
| You know, you never fucking know. | ||
| The fat train is a motherfucker. | ||
| It's a psychological train. | ||
| It's what you're trying to say. | ||
| It's a fucked up train. | ||
| It's the same thing that makes you be a junkie. | ||
| It's the same thing that makes you be a gambler. | ||
| And it's so, what we were discussing before the show started, you said don't talk, was that people in America don't really fucking know where to get off that train. | ||
| They really don't. | ||
| And even if you stop the train and go get off, they're scared because they don't know. | ||
| And it's longevity. | ||
| It's staying off that train for the longest time. | ||
| It's not going to happen in two weeks or two. | ||
| Well, explain what you're saying. | ||
| What do you mean by this train? | ||
| This fat train. | ||
| It's just a cycle. | ||
| It's another word for a cycle of abuse, a cycle of addiction. | ||
| You just said it. | ||
| You know, one night you go on the fucking road, and you go to this comedy club, and you're hungry, and you're on the road for eight fucking weeks straight. | ||
| I don't mean eight weeks fucking straight in those shit fucking clubs. | ||
| You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| And you go to eat dinner and they have french fries and a hamburger. | ||
| And now you can't sleep because you're from the fucking East Coast. | ||
| You're from the West Coast. | ||
| You're going into the East Coast. | ||
| You got the radio three fucking days. | ||
| So lack of sleep puts fucking weight on you. | ||
| And all of a sudden, next thing you know, you get your 20 pounds overweight, your 30 pounds overweight, and you're on the road. | ||
| And this happens. | ||
| I'm just describing how it happened to me. | ||
| And you don't know what's going on. | ||
| And even though you worked out all your life and you've walked, this weight is getting put on you. | ||
| Now you can't breathe in your fucking sleep. | ||
| Now you can't breathe in your sleep. | ||
| So I'm scared of fucking needles and doctors. | ||
| So you know what? | ||
| Maybe if I get a fucking heart attack, then I'll figure this out. | ||
| So until I get the heart attack, that's when I'll go in and take care of this fucking sleep apnea. | ||
| And finally you're not sleeping. | ||
| Finally you're falling asleep in fucking lights. | ||
| And you're 90 pounds heavier than when you moved to LA. Even though there's a fucking YMCA. Walking distance from your house. | ||
| And you walk past it and it's like the devil's house. | ||
| You even cross the fucking street. | ||
| You don't even walk on that fucking side of the street. | ||
| That's the fat train. | ||
| And the fat train, what people are describing now in America, obesity, was Obama's wife. | ||
| These fucking kids are huge. | ||
| Well, you lost a ton of weight, Joey. | ||
| You lost at one point in time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What'd you lose? | |
| How much did you lose? | ||
| 100 pounds, but it doesn't matter. | ||
| How much did you put back? | ||
| Go down a fucking street. | ||
| 35. Go down the street right now. | ||
| There's not a kid playing on a fucking street no more. | ||
| You mean out of all those fucking houses, there's not one parent that can go, listen, on Monday I'm going to come out and play stickball with these fat fucks who are on a computer with a knapsack with computers. | ||
| Where the fuck are these kids going? | ||
| They walk around with 80 pounds on their fucking back and they're 90 pounds overweight. | ||
| But with me, it started as an adult. | ||
| It didn't start as a six-year-old fucking kid. | ||
| It didn't start as a six-year-old fucking kid. | ||
| It started when I was 30 and I was already 10 years in the fucking bag of blow and drinking. | ||
| You know, you don't realize. | ||
| I don't want none at the comedy store to fucking... | ||
| I don't like alcohol. | ||
| I don't like the fucking taste of it. | ||
| If I'm doing blow, I'll drink sperm. | ||
| But if I'm fucking... | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| But if I'm fucking, I don't like the taste of alcohol. | ||
| That was the greatest timing ever. | ||
| It's a social fucking thing I have. | ||
| When I see Joe drinking a beer, you don't think I want to grab a beer. | ||
| Mike Dolce, I do the worst thing in the world. | ||
| I get so bored and so embarrassed of being a mutt that all I do is smoke pot like a 13-year-old that sometimes give me a fucking cigarette because I got to feel like I'm doing something. | ||
| You know what the fucking bartender told me once at the comedy store? | ||
| That I drank 16 sodas while I was there one night. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| You know what 16 sodas do to fucking your weight? | ||
| That's a lot of sugar. | ||
| That's a lot of sugar. | ||
| I was doing that eight times a day. | ||
| People don't know that a fucking can of soda is six Weight Watcher points and the whole day is 30 fucking eight points. | ||
| So if you have six cans of soda... | ||
| So what are you going to do about it? | ||
| No, it's what you can do to get off this fucking train. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So what do you do about it? | ||
| Bro, I started with changing my character. | ||
| It didn't start with the diet first. | ||
| It started with the fucking character, which is getting up in the morning and walking, like you said, to the mailbox and touching it and walking back. | ||
| Bob Zaney used to take a bus from Hollywood to fucking west side of L.A. and walk back. | ||
| Why did he do that? | ||
| To lose weight. | ||
| People do fucking... | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| You know, I went to swim. | ||
| The gym was a better option. | ||
| No, I know this, but you know, when I want to lose weight, I was scared. | ||
| I didn't know how to start. | ||
| I asked a bunch of guys. | ||
| I knew if I went to Eddie and said, Eddie, I want to lose weight, he would have thrown me into the fucking spectrum of jiu-jitsu and I would have broke my fucking back. | ||
| Because I was 4'15", and I told you, the first time I got on the fucking treadmill, I could only do two minutes. | ||
| The little guy said, bro, you got to quit. | ||
| You were 4'15 at one time? | ||
| The Longest Yard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| That November, 415 pounds, three packs of cigarettes a fucking day. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| So before you lose weight or you can go in any direction, you know what I did, dog? | ||
| I joined karate with black dudes in the hood. | ||
| So they didn't know who the fuck I was. | ||
| It didn't matter who the fuck I was. | ||
| What hood? | ||
| Where are you going? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I used to go in downtown Atlanta with these two black dudes. | |
| And it's funny because I wanted to put my mind back to where it was when I was 13. When I hated fucking all the stupidity. | ||
| My mother used to even say to me, someday you're going to need a drink because you've got to stick up your ass. | ||
| But I was fine at that point in my life. | ||
| So I took myself and my mind back to that. | ||
| I wanted to fucking roll my gi up in a fucking thing and go back in. | ||
| Just to take my mind to when I was an evil fucking 13 year old. | ||
| Where if you came up to me with a cigarette, I'd smack you. | ||
| If you came up to me with a joint, I'd fucking tackle you. | ||
| And if you came up to me with alcohol, I'd call you a loser because my mother had a bar. | ||
| So I would watch these people in the bar and go, I can't believe my mother makes money off these fucking momos drinking. | ||
| They could stay at home for a six-pack and drop $2 or whatever Schlitz was. | ||
| So before I got my weight loss program back, I wanted to get my character back. | ||
| Even today, dog, I go to the fucking gym. | ||
| Like I was telling you, I'll do 45 on the bike. | ||
| I'll hit the bag, throw sidekicks. | ||
| I'm drenched. | ||
| People look at me. | ||
| Everybody's in the fucking air conditioning. | ||
| I'm outside. | ||
| I go to the YMCA. I could go to any fucking gym in LA. I go to YMCA because I want to be rugged. | ||
| It takes you back to being a fat motherfucker. | ||
| Enough with this obesity and all these diseases. | ||
| We're a bunch of fat fucks and that's how to get off the thing. | ||
| And I do your little treadmill workout for beginners, which I looked at for a month and go... | ||
| I'm in no danger of doing that. | ||
| Okay, what is this? | ||
| What is the treadmill workout? | ||
| I love this fucking treadmill workout. | ||
| From the beginner to the intermediate to the fucking... | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| What's the treadmill workout? | ||
| In the book, I have a few different treadmill workouts. | ||
| Beginner treadmill workout, which is just an introduction. | ||
| What it is broken out, I can actually pull it up and take a look. | ||
| But I have a beginner, I have an intermediate, and I have the advanced, which is the fighter treadmill workout. | ||
| Which is basically intervals. | ||
| So the fighter, it's like... | ||
| One minute, eight minutes. | ||
| One minute, six minutes. | ||
| One minute, eight minutes. | ||
| And it's six minutes per round. | ||
| So it's really a six-minute round. | ||
| I'll never even try that. | ||
| The beginner is basically you walk for five minutes at three miles per hour. | ||
| And then you put it up to five miles per hour. | ||
| Well, can I hear him say it? | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Why are you doing it? | ||
| What is your... | ||
| For the beginner, it's really to get people active to build that base. | ||
| A lot of times, like Joey's saying, people, they're out of shape for whatever reason. | ||
| They've been making a negative decision, now they make a positive decision. | ||
| They walk into the gym or they have a little treadmill at their house, whatever it is. | ||
| They start to exercise and they do it wrong because they follow what they see on TV or they follow what they saw in Self Magazine or whatever it is. | ||
| Sore as hell the next day. | ||
| They don't perform. | ||
| They look fat. | ||
| They feel fat. | ||
| Their clothes are too tight. | ||
| Screw this. | ||
| I'm out. | ||
| And that's like Joey's saying. | ||
| You walk in the gym and then you don't go back for a while. | ||
| The people make the bad decisions. | ||
| So what this beginner treadmill workout is, it's getting people on the treadmill. | ||
| It's getting them active. | ||
| It's getting their heart moving. | ||
| It's getting their blood flowing. | ||
| And it's a transition into something a little bit better. | ||
| Joey is a great example. | ||
| He started, his hardest pace was three miles an hour or so. | ||
| And then he would go down to one and he would walk. | ||
| Now, you know, a few weeks later, he's almost doubled that. | ||
| He's more than doubled that. | ||
| Made tremendous amount of progress in a short period of time. | ||
| Instead of just jumping in and doing, you know, four miles an hour is you're slow and then six or eight miles an hour is you're fast, which is what most other people do. | ||
| So it's, in the book, I kind of break it down. | ||
| I make it easy for people. | ||
| So you just kind of stare at it, you press the buttons and you move forward. | ||
| So you just set out a nice roadmap to follow, and this is the best way to achieve results. | ||
| How do you get people to stick with things? | ||
| Do you have particular techniques that you've developed over the year to motivate guys? | ||
| Do you give them inspirational quotes? | ||
| Yeah, it's all of the above. | ||
| Really, it's about accountability. | ||
| You have to be accountable. | ||
| What's your goal? | ||
| What's your goal, Joe? | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| You want to make this much money or you want to buy that old house or you want to donate X amount of dollars or whatever the heck it is. | ||
| What's your goal? | ||
| Now, what are you going to do to get there? | ||
| Let's start building steps. | ||
| Let's set small goals. | ||
| Very simple and it's basic information that we all know. | ||
| I'm not saying anything new. | ||
| I'm just maybe holding people accountable to actually doing it. | ||
| Well, you know, there's a term that I use for certain people, and the term is a collector of ideas, and I think that's what you are. | ||
| And there's a guy named Jason Silva who's a brilliant guy who's been on the podcast a couple times. | ||
| That is the same thing that he is. | ||
| He's a guy who takes some of the greatest information that's available, and he can regurgitate it in a very entertaining way. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with that. | ||
| You're defending that. | ||
| There's no need to defend that. | ||
| That's a legitimate skill. | ||
| As much as learning car mechanics is a skill. | ||
| As much as learning medical science is a skill. | ||
| It's all a skill. | ||
| The ability to retain all this information. | ||
| But you're in a strange position. | ||
| There's the position of attempting to motivate people like this. | ||
| And you were a former fighter as well. | ||
| You were on The Ultimate Fighter. | ||
| What season were you on? | ||
| Season 7. How many more fights did you have after that? | ||
| I had a couple more handful, maybe four or five. | ||
| And then just decided to concentrate on training guys instead? | ||
| The training. | ||
| That was really the focus in the beginning. | ||
| I've always been a coach and I've always been doing that. | ||
| And I fought because I loved it. | ||
| I enjoyed it. | ||
| It helped me be a better coach. | ||
| And I was pretty good at it. | ||
| I did decently well up until a certain point. | ||
| So the enjoyment was there. | ||
| And I was in the industry, so I know very specifically what the athlete goes through. | ||
| Did you find yourself in a situation when you were thinking about not doing it anymore, when you were wondering if you were doing it anymore, where you had one foot in and one foot out? | ||
| Yeah, since my first fight in the IFL. First fight in the IFL, you know, I got two pro fights. | ||
| And two or three pro fights first fight in the IFL. I knocked this kid out. | ||
| It's the fastest record in the history of the IFL. It's the big hoopla. | ||
| It's on TV. And the win, you know, it's team format. | ||
| You know, it's the third victory. | ||
| So I win it for my team. | ||
| It's all great stuff. | ||
| Win an Xbox Live, which is awesome. | ||
| This is when they just came out. | ||
| It was the Xbox, and they stepped up to Xbox Live, and boom, I win it. | ||
| Walking through the airport with it on my shoulder because I'm not putting that shit in the baggage, right? | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| I'm carrying this thing. | ||
| People are trying to buy it for like $700, $800 in the airport from me. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It was that new. | ||
| Yeah, it was awesome. | ||
| I didn't know it was such a big deal. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| And from that point on, I achieved. | ||
| That was my goal. | ||
| I had pretty modest goals. | ||
| I did it. | ||
| I mean, I was undefeated even at that point. | ||
| And then I just kept rolling forward a little bit. | ||
| Still coaching. | ||
| Very active. | ||
| As a coach, at one point I had 40 pro athletes while I was pro fighter. | ||
| But you weren't concentrating on yourself as much? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Just selfishly, in a quadrant of my brain, I was. | ||
| I was going to be the ultimate fighter, champion, and all that stuff. | ||
| But that was probably less than 10% of my true... | ||
| Time output. | ||
| If you charted what I did in a day, it was mostly for everybody else. | ||
| Yeah, you can't just be confident and not do the work, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Gotta do the work. | ||
| Gotta go all in. | ||
| Especially, people always say, hey, how come you don't have an MMA fight? | ||
| Besides the fact that I'm getting old as fuck, the real problem is I don't want to do it, and I don't think you should dabble. | ||
| No. | ||
| I'm not going to quit doing comedy. | ||
| There's no way I'll quit doing comedy. | ||
| There's no way I'd quit doing this podcast. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| I mean, I'm not going to. | ||
| And if I didn't quit comedy, I wouldn't be able to fight. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| I don't think it's something that you should half-ass. | ||
| It's serious business, man. | ||
| You shouldn't have anything else on your mind. | ||
| I mean, you could have distractions and hobbies and all that good stuff, but when you're training, it's an amazing amount of time these guys have to devote. | ||
| I don't think people realize it. | ||
| People just watch fights and don't dig into it and find out what a training schedule is like for these fucking kids. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| The psychological impact. | ||
| The physical impact is easy. | ||
| We can all work hard as human beings. | ||
| We can all put our body through that. | ||
| It's the psychological impact of knowing six weeks from now, five weeks from now, four weeks from now, there's another bastard somewhere on this planet training and he's going to meet you at a certain point. | ||
| At a certain time, and your whole family's going to be there, and everyone you went to school with is going to be there. | ||
| And he can do some shit that you can do, and you know what you've done to people, and you think, that might get done to me. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| And it will. | ||
| It's just a matter of time. | ||
| Is this the time? | ||
| Is this the time? | ||
| Maybe not. | ||
| Hopefully not. | ||
| We're going to train for it not to be, but this could be the time. | ||
| You know, so it's a head trip. | ||
| Yeah, I'd imagine. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| And as soon as it's over, just like anything else, like, you know, you want to jump right back in there. | ||
| Oh, I could have done, I would have, you know, X, Y, and Z. There's all these other things that we could have done better. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| Let's schedule another one. | ||
| Boom, it's scheduled. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Now, all of a sudden, the head trip kicks in again as soon as it's scheduled. | ||
| And it's, you know, personal experience, of course, but... | ||
| Every fighter, almost every fighter, because not every, but almost every fighter, it's the same thing. | ||
| It's the same script over and over. | ||
| There's an interesting turn that a fighter takes when they realize they're never going to be the best and they're just sort of doing it to fight. | ||
| They're just going to take fights. | ||
| It's a completely different turn. | ||
| They become a different fighter. | ||
| You can almost see their color change. | ||
| They go from being this streaking thing that's constantly improving to something that levels off and in fact usually dwindles a little bit. | ||
| Sometimes guys get a little bit better. | ||
| I mean, it varies on the athlete. | ||
| But there's young guys that come up and there's one beating or two beatings that they get somewhere along the line that make them realize, like, you're never going to beat this guy. | ||
| Not, you know, I'll take it out of MMA because we have close contacts, but boxing, look at James Kirkland. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Shooting star, right? | ||
| Came out of the gate, you know, he was the next big thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Had a little bit of trouble, lifestyle trouble outside the ring. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And, you know, took a pretty good beating. | ||
| Now just... | ||
| He's kind of... | ||
| Is he maybe maintaining, but probably degrading? | ||
| Didn't he have a real tough fight recently? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Did you hear about that... | ||
| What the fuck is the tall kid? | ||
| Paul Williams. | ||
| Paul Williams? | ||
| Motorcycle crash paralyzed? | ||
| Yeah, it's heartbreaking. | ||
| Fucking A, man. | ||
| And that kid had such a tough career. | ||
| I mean, look who he fought. | ||
| Look how well he did. | ||
| Couldn't get a fight. | ||
| Nobody would fight him because he's such a tough son of a bitch. | ||
| He was one of the most dangerous and feared guys for years. | ||
| And then he slowly started to slow down. | ||
| And then, you know, Martinez got him with a big left hand. | ||
| He was a stud. | ||
| He had some tough fights, man. | ||
| But, you know, the dude had a crazy work rate, too. | ||
| I mean, nobody outpunched Paul Williams. | ||
| That guy would come in. | ||
| Winky right fight? | ||
| Yeah, it was ridiculous, man. | ||
| It was awesome, right? | ||
| It was incredible. | ||
| Beautiful, beautiful. | ||
| Winky Wright is another guy who doesn't get enough credit. | ||
| What a technical boxer that guy is. | ||
| So smart. | ||
| So good defensively. | ||
| You know? | ||
| You know the shell that he would build? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh yeah. | |
| Hands up high, man. | ||
| He broke a lot of dudes down with that. | ||
| Just with sheer technique and skill. | ||
| He's a real skillful boxer. | ||
| I appreciate him as a professional. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| I see what he does. | ||
| I'm like, that's a real goddamn professional. | ||
| Fighting Tarver soon. | ||
| I see the billboard. | ||
| I'm pretty sure. | ||
| I could be rolling. | ||
| Winky Wright's fighting Tarver? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's a good fight. | ||
| They're both a good, you know, that's a good, you know, even as far as, like, levels of their career, too. | ||
| Yeah, I'll watch that. | ||
| Tarver's doing real well at heavyweight. | ||
| Did you see that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He had a couple of heavyweight fights. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why is Winky Wright and him fighting, then? | ||
| Names, money. | ||
| Winky Wright doesn't give a fuck, right? | ||
| He'll fight anybody. | ||
| Yeah, he always has. | ||
| He called people out. | ||
| Yeah, because Tarver looked real good as a heavyweight. | ||
| I forget who the fuck he fought, but he beat the shit out of somebody. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Beginner treadmill workout. | ||
| Jump it, because I don't want to leave you hanging. | ||
| Warm up, five minute walk, three miles an hour. | ||
| Round one. | ||
| 30 second jog at five miles an hour. | ||
| Two minute walk at three miles an hour. | ||
| And you repeat that one, two, three, four rounds and the cooldown is a simple five minute walk at three miles an hour. | ||
| Anybody, everybody can do that or their own version of that. | ||
| So I'm a coach. | ||
| Here's the format. | ||
| I'm coaching you to do it. | ||
| Maybe you're at one mile an hour, you know, a 30 second jog and then a, you know, two mile an hour, 30 second jog and then one mile an hour, two minute walk. | ||
| Do you have something that could be adapted to an elliptical machine? | ||
| Obviously, you wouldn't be able to regulate the miles an hour as closely. | ||
| The intensity is the watts on the elliptical machine. | ||
| All the machines have a way of regulating intensity and displaying it to you, even on the row or how many rows per second or per minute or what. | ||
| So you can do the same thing with Rose as well? | ||
| You can do the same thing like Joey was talking before. | ||
| In your neighborhood, you walk out your front door, jog to one mailbox, walk to the next two. | ||
| Jog to the mailbox, walk to the next two. | ||
| Most plots are evenly sized in most neighborhoods. | ||
| I got a big hill on my street that I'm scared of that I never run, but it's fucking huge. | ||
| It's a scary hill. | ||
| It's a big hill. | ||
| Run to one house and walk back down. | ||
| Don't do the whole hill. | ||
| When you do a hill sprint, though, what is the rule? | ||
| What should you do? | ||
| Should you run for 30 seconds? | ||
| Should you run for a minute? | ||
| What's the smart way to do it? | ||
| It all depends. | ||
| Picture cycles. | ||
| I break everything down in the cycle. | ||
| So picture three-week cycles. | ||
| What are we trying to accomplish over the next three weeks? | ||
| Well, I want to develop explosive power, quads, glutes, hamstrings, calves, whatnot. | ||
| Maybe just speed off the line. | ||
| Maybe it's endurance, so why are we going to the hill? | ||
| And then we determine what the intensity, what the volume is going to be. | ||
| And every three weeks it should change. | ||
| So you can find another area that you want to improve and then peek that out. | ||
| Then maybe go back to the first area or find a third area. | ||
| Peek that out so you're constantly peeking out a specific area with strict rules. | ||
| What is the one thing that you take out of fighters' diets most commonly? | ||
| Processed foods, without a doubt. | ||
| I'm an advocate of earth-grown nutrients is a term that I like to use. | ||
| Is that like paleo diet type shit? | ||
| No, but paleo uses earth-grown nutrients. | ||
| Earth-grown nutrients is whole foods, but when you say whole foods, people picture a supermarket chain. | ||
| Whole Foods also sells conventional food, not just organic or earth-grown nutrients. | ||
| Earth-grown nutrients means this came from the earth, unadulterated by man. | ||
| I walked out my backyard, I pulled it out of the stream with my bare hands and pulled it out of the ground, and I didn't even plant the seeds, let's say. | ||
| It just naturally grew right there. | ||
| That's earth-grown. | ||
| The closer we can get to that, the better. | ||
| So what I try and do with my athletes or clients or anybody I deal with is I try and make suggestions and tips and then from my experience, try this instead of that. | ||
| You're going to use a high fructose corn syrup based ketchup when you can get this one right over here. | ||
| You can make your own with tomatoes and some vinegar and some salt and maybe a little bit of agave on your own stove. | ||
| It tastes exactly the same or the earth grown one tastes a heck of a lot better. | ||
| So that's the things that I try and do with the athletes. | ||
| But you're okay with pasta? | ||
| Pasta, yeah. | ||
| Is it because athletes require a lot of sugar, a lot of fuel, carbos? | ||
| Wednesday, I call it a refeed, Wednesday night. | ||
| Which is typically, it's a comfort meal, so we placate the emotional side, the emotional eating side, even during training camps. | ||
| Do you put light candles and shit? | ||
| If that's what's necessary. | ||
| You know, recommend maybe the athlete does it with their wife or their family or their girl, their friends, the game's on or whatever it is. | ||
| So you can do it any way you want. | ||
| Glass of wine at the table with the family, you know, any which way you want to do it. | ||
| It's the emotional side, but also nutritionally. | ||
| The athlete's getting everything that they need. | ||
| So I like to make my pasta with quinoa and not a quinoa pasta, just straight quinoa. | ||
| Lots of people, yeah, it's awesome. | ||
| Lots of people dig it. | ||
| So it's a pasta night in theory, but it's not pasta noodles. | ||
| It's not ziti. | ||
| It's not any of that stuff. | ||
| Although you can do it. | ||
| You can get a brown rice if you want to go gluten-free. | ||
| So this quinoa, it's quinoa pasta? | ||
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
| Like the actual pasta itself is quinoa? | ||
| You can use it. | ||
| I prefer just straight quinoa. | ||
| So it looks more like a chili. | ||
| I've been using that for a while now. | ||
| Just mixing it with vegetables and stuff like that. | ||
| I'm confused though. | ||
| So there's no pasta? | ||
| There can be pasta. | ||
| But you're calling it pasta. | ||
| Pasta night. | ||
| It's a refeed night. | ||
| So we were talking about, you can certainly use pasta. | ||
| Okay, but it's quinoa, it's not pasta. | ||
| You just replace the pasta with quinoa. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| But what I'm confused when I was asking is pasta, okay, actual white pasta. | ||
| Spaghetti. | ||
| Fine. | ||
| That certainly can be used. | ||
| It can be used. | ||
| Or a brown rice. | ||
| Brown rice-based pasta. | ||
| Or a tapioca-based gluten-free pasta. | ||
| Or a quinoa pasta. | ||
| Or maybe just quinoa noodles by itself. | ||
| Or maybe no noodles at all. | ||
| You're just going to have the sauce, which is a red sauce, tomato-based peppers and onions and garlic and herbs and spices and all those good things thrown in there, too. | ||
| What about Ezekiel pasta? | ||
| Yeah, awesome. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| Good stuff? | ||
| Yeah, I've been using that a bunch lately, actually. | ||
| Is there any benefit to taking plain white pasta or taking Ezekiel pasta, like carbohydrate-wise? | ||
| Absolutely, glycogen stores. | ||
| No, I'm saying, which one gives you more benefit? | ||
| Would Ezekiel give you more benefit? | ||
| Would straight white pasta give you more benefit? | ||
| I would lean towards the Ezekiel because it's closer to the earth-grown nutrient category. | ||
| And it's higher in a variety of nutrients, where if you go just the straight durum wheat pasta, which is like a standard barilla pasta where you're getting any, you know, olive garden and whatnot, there's a high glycogen content. | ||
| So if your only goal is glycogen stores... | ||
| Then you can certainly get that from the pasta. | ||
| But if your goal is to get glycogen plus fiber, plus essential fats, plus vitamin B or whatever the heck else is in there, then you go to the Ezekiel and you keep getting closer back to the earth because there's more vital nutrients contained in that. | ||
| Now what's quinoa? | ||
| Quinoa, it's a grain. | ||
| And what's it taste like with pasta on it? | ||
| It's delicious. | ||
| Quinoa, kind of, it takes on the flavor of what it's being served with. | ||
| So, I made a recipe when I was working with Mike Pyle when he fought Ricardo Almeida. | ||
| And, you know, I come up with recipes. | ||
| I'm an Italian dude. | ||
| I grew up kid in the kitchen. | ||
| I'm rolling dough. | ||
| We're making zeppelas, you know, fried dough in our kitchen. | ||
| And I've been doing it my whole life, so I work with these guys. | ||
| Pyle lives, you know, a few miles from me in Vegas. | ||
| Go to his house where I would've been to eat for dinner. | ||
| Start messing with some recipes. | ||
| Quinoa, I got some quinoa, ground turkey, asparagus, red onions, and mushrooms. | ||
| Chopped each one, light saute, low heat saute so you don't kill all the nutrients. | ||
| Low heat saute the vegetables. | ||
| How long do you saute something to not kill the nutrients? | ||
| Man, as long as it takes for it to kind of soften up or get to the flavor that you want. | ||
| Peppers, they have a really hard exterior outer shell. | ||
| So you actually want to sauté the peppers a little bit to break it down to unlock the nutrients. | ||
| Otherwise, it's going to digest through and it's going to fall out. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And you won't get all that nutrients. | ||
| So it actually is better for you to do that to cook peppers? | ||
| In certain cases. | ||
| Isn't it the case with tomatoes as well? | ||
| Like there's something that gets activated in tomatoes when you cook it that doesn't when it's raw? | ||
| I'm not sure specifically on tomato, but things like spinach, most vegetables with an outer layer, you will unlock more nutrients when you actually heat that up, but not always because you still want to have them raw and fresh. | ||
| Because there's a ton of other vital nutrients in there. | ||
| Yeah, it's called lycopene. | ||
| Lycopene is an antioxidant and it comes from cooked tomatoes. | ||
| Joey, if you want a good local place that has good quinoa swingers, I usually always get the side of quinoa and it's good. | ||
| And they have a tuna salad there where it's just like tuna salad on lettuce and stuff. | ||
| It's on a bed of quinoa. | ||
| I always get double quinoa and that's like one of the best salads that you can get around. | ||
| Yeah, they have Jamaican jerk chicken with quinoa. | ||
| It's the shit. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| Now, what's the closest I could have if I don't want to have pasta? | ||
| If I just want to try it one time? | ||
| Like, what's the closest I could have for the head? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, that I could just eat like a pasta and not really trip on it. | ||
| It's like when I eat like lamb. | ||
| Ten minutes later, I'm fucking tripping. | ||
| I just want to eat something and not trip. | ||
| What can I eat there? | ||
| That's closest to pasta. | ||
| No fucking tofu because I have a heart attack. | ||
| The quinoa. | ||
| It's so easy. | ||
| You have no idea. | ||
| You're going to serve him quinoa and he's going to come back in here and scream for 15 fucking minutes. | ||
| Quinoa smells like a girl's tampon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| I'm real fucking good. | ||
| Fucking quinoa. | ||
| Let me tell you something, dog. | ||
| Let me tell you something, dog. | ||
| It's mozzarella. | ||
| It's mozzarella cheese. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a real fucking pasta sauce and real pasta. | |
| You fucking hippies. | ||
| You scared of some fucking spaghetti? | ||
| My fucking aunt put curry in my spaghetti and clam sauce. | ||
| I didn't talk to that bitch for six years. | ||
| That's the type of motherfucker I am. | ||
| You understand me? | ||
| You fucked up one of my recipes. | ||
| Stacey Pocoludo had the worst mashed potatoes of all time when you hadn't talked to her for a fucking year on Thanksgiving. | ||
| That's how serious I take this shit. | ||
| So let's say I should maybe just stick to the spinach pasta and go from there and then water myself down. | ||
| Let's back up a second because what's your goal? | ||
| Don't tell me what you want. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you need? | |
| What's your goal? | ||
| I love pasta, but since I left the East Coast now, I'm okay with once a week. | ||
| I don't have to have sausage and meatballs. | ||
| I'm okay. | ||
| But you hear what he's saying? | ||
| What was he saying? | ||
| He's saying, what's the goal? | ||
| This is what he's always saying. | ||
| What's your goal? | ||
| Just to help a little bit. | ||
| Maybe just to help a little bit. | ||
| What do you recommend? | ||
| How bad is a bowl of pasta every week? | ||
| But help what? | ||
| Help what, Joe? | ||
| Your heart, your cholesterol, your fatness. | ||
| It depends on how close you are to the brink or how far you are from your goal or how close you are to your goal. | ||
| Just eat healthier pasta. | ||
| With the turkey, like, I liked what you, in the book. | ||
| It's fucking delicious. | ||
| And the chili's fucking smoking, too. | ||
| If you make those recipes, you're golden, man. | ||
| And you have the gluten-free option, you got the vegan option, you got the apple option. | ||
| I ain't gonna lie to you, the first two times I made the pasta, I used fucking, you know, Ronzoni. | ||
| That's a slow transition, that's fine. | ||
| I gotta go with Ronzoni. | ||
| He's been around for 30 fucking years, alright? | ||
| He's got nothing. | ||
| I know Mike Dolce two fucking years. | ||
| I gotta go with Ronzoni. | ||
| That's my fucking man. | ||
| You follow me? | ||
| The number two. | ||
| I don't like that string shit. | ||
| Well, Joey, I mean, this is an uncomfortable moment here, but I got to confront you on this because what we got here is a guy who's like a nutritional expert. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're using him as a sounding board. | ||
| No, no, not a sounding board. | ||
| But honestly, brother, you know what you got to do. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I'm asking him what's better for me. | ||
| I'm not trying to be funny with him. | ||
| I'm asking him what's better. | ||
| If I like pasta, what is the closest thing I could have if I wanted to have a little healthier? | ||
| That's my question, Joe. | ||
| A little healthier? | ||
| That's my fucking question. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| A little healthier than McDonald's? | ||
| Right away, you gotta fucking say something. | ||
| What the fuck, guys? | ||
| Before you cut me off, you insult me. | ||
| I never insulted you. | ||
| In the beginning, you're talking for two hours. | ||
| The guest is here waiting. | ||
| I never insulted you, Joey. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you did. | |
| I just want to hear him talk about nutrition. | ||
| Yeah, but I'm a fat fuck, and maybe I like to explain the fucking running technique, too. | ||
| But he confronted you. | ||
| He said, what's the goal? | ||
| No, he's asking me what I want. | ||
| I told him what the fucking goal was. | ||
| Or if you're playing Law and Order. | ||
| I'm talking to him. | ||
| The goal is I want to fucking maybe eat a little healthier pasta. | ||
| That's why I don't eat the meat or the sausage. | ||
| Is there any way to make it a little healthier? | ||
| Maybe the spinach pasta. | ||
| Maybe the whole wheat without suffering that much. | ||
| When I taste the whole wheat, am I going to go fucking Dolce? | ||
| What I'm getting back to is past the goal of the pasta. | ||
| What's your goal? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| What's your life goal? | ||
| Where are we trying to go with your health, with your fitness, with your weight? | ||
| I went down to 270 and my head was too fucking big. | ||
| I was going in to meet people and they thought I had cancer. | ||
| I swear to fucking God, dog. | ||
| That's why I went in and I started doing the upright rows to fill this in a little bit because it got so fucking skinny I thought I was going to put one of those voice machines. | ||
| That's what people were looking at me in auditions and meetings like I was going to put a voice machine in. | ||
| So, when I hurt my knee... | ||
| Well, that's just the consequences of having a lot of mass at one point in time. | ||
| A lot of fucking mass. | ||
| So, I built up this area here a little bit. | ||
| I used to be 280 pounds. | ||
| Oh, I know. | ||
| I read the fucking thing. | ||
| I lost 110 pounds. | ||
| How the fuck did you eat all that shit in one day? | ||
| That's 19-year-old diet. | ||
| That's when you're whacking off twice a day, you're fucking drinking, and you're fucking somebody eight times a day. | ||
| That thing that you were eating was a pepperoni pizza at night with a provolone on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you fucking... | |
| Followed by a Snickers bar. | ||
| He can't eat that. | ||
| No fucking way. | ||
| I'll put you up. | ||
| Ten years ago, maybe, that diet that he's eating, you eat. | ||
| No, that was ten years ago when I met you. | ||
| We went to the Miami Improv. | ||
| My jaw dropped when you ordered food. | ||
| I fucking my jaw dropped, Joe Rogan. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because you ate three entrees. | ||
| It's still dry. | ||
| I'm sorry, Mr. Dolce. | ||
| You talk that you ate fucking egg omelet, you know, with eggs, no fucking egg whites, cheat. | ||
| I mean, the diet was amazing. | ||
| Yeah, I feel like I work out hard. | ||
| I eat whatever the fuck I want to eat. | ||
| And when I'm done with a show, especially two shows, I'm hungry, man. | ||
| I eat a lot of food, a lot of steak. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Are you a paleo guy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I don't follow it 100%, but the majority of my diet is essentially most of what I try to eat is just salads and meat. | ||
| That's most of what I try to eat. | ||
| And then I'll throw in a little bit of pasta here and there every now and then. | ||
| Or if I'm on the road, I eat what I can to try to stay healthy. | ||
| Always supplement. | ||
| Supplement every day. | ||
| Constantly, a lot of fish oil, multivitamins, chelated minerals, the whole deal. | ||
| I take a gang of shit. | ||
| I drink kale shakes. | ||
| I try to drink them every day. | ||
| So that's the majority of what I do. | ||
| But I think what you were bringing up with Joey is a real good point. | ||
| A lot of people say, they're kind of dabbling in the idea of improving themselves. | ||
| And the real way to do it is you've got to write down what the fuck you want and then go after it. | ||
| Because otherwise you live in sort of a wishy-washy world. | ||
| You know, if you decide, I'm gonna get down to, bang, I'm gonna do this. | ||
| I'm gonna run a marathon in less than five hours. | ||
| I'm gonna, you know, whatever the fuck it is, you gotta write that shit down and go for it. | ||
| What I tell people is the best advice I've ever heard, the best advice I ever came up with, is that live your life like you're the hero in your movie. | ||
| And right now is when the fucking movie starts and your life is a shitbag disaster, like every fucking Arnold Schwarzenegger movie where he wakes up and makes a blender... | ||
| Full of pizza and ice cream. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Those guys were on the brink. | ||
| They put the gun in their mouth and they put it down because they see a photo of their daughter. | ||
| Pretend that's you. | ||
| Pretend you are right now. | ||
| You're in the part of the movie that starts and it shows you as a fucking loser. | ||
| And just decide not to be a loser anymore. | ||
| Live your life like there's a documentary crew following you around and you are analyzing your own behaviors. | ||
| Do what you would want to do so that your kids one day would look back at it and see that documentary and look on it with pride. | ||
| Like, wow, my dad was a bad motherfucker. | ||
| He really did what he had to do. | ||
| Wow, my mom really got her shit together. | ||
| I love a success story, but even more than a success story, I like a dude who fucks his life up and then gets it back together again story. | ||
| Those are my favorite stories. | ||
| And the way to do that, you gotta write shit down. | ||
| You gotta think that you are the hero in your own fucking movie, and then you gotta sit down, and you gotta write shit down. | ||
| Write down what you need to do. | ||
| Most people play the role of the victim in the movie, right? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Yeah, this life is fucking me over, man. | ||
| I could've had this, and I should've had that. | ||
| Why does this guy get that? | ||
| Why does that guy get this? | ||
| All things that are completely unrelated to you. | ||
| All things that you find other people's success as a downfall in your own existence. | ||
| Instead of being inspired, instead of choosing to be positive, instead of improving constantly on the direction of trying to achieve whatever the fuck you have written down, you just sit around and spiral. | ||
| You know? | ||
| There's nothing more miserable than sitting around someone who's fucking complaining all the time. | ||
| It is one of the most annoying things ever. | ||
| Everybody hates it. | ||
| When someone just sits around and they complain about their life and they don't do jack shit about it. | ||
| And you tiptoe around it. | ||
| You don't know what to say. | ||
| Well, she gets upset when you bring that up. | ||
| I don't want to bring that up. | ||
| And you want to go, you fucking crazy bitch. | ||
| You know what's wrong with your life. | ||
| Stop announcing it to everybody else and go out and fix that shit. | ||
| And that's tough love. | ||
| Tough love is what everybody needs, me included. | ||
| That's the only good thing about, like, assholes on the internet. | ||
| Sometimes they say things that's right. | ||
| Sometimes cunts will say shitty things to you on the internet about a show you did or a thing you said or, you know, oh, the fucking joke you made on the podcast. | ||
| You're an asshole for even thinking like that. | ||
| And, you know, part of you is like, fuck you. | ||
| Who the fuck are you? | ||
| But you... | ||
| You feel bad if things are correct. | ||
| You feel bad if someone nails you. | ||
| If you didn't do anything wrong and someone acts like a cunt, they look like a crazy person. | ||
| You have to be able to have that honest assessment of yourself. | ||
| And the only way you can do that is you're taking account of yourself all day long. | ||
| You're taking account. | ||
| You're writing down what the fuck you need to do. | ||
| You're doing it. | ||
| You have a mindset that you want to maintain throughout the day. | ||
| Don't let the world maintain your mindset. | ||
| You choose what mindset that you are going to maintain. | ||
| And I fucking do that for sure. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Words of wisdom by Joe Rogan, people. | ||
| I got a Twitter yesterday that said that whenever I was on a podcast with you, we were racially insensitive. | ||
| Why was that? | ||
| He wasn't a douche. | ||
| People are sensitive about that. | ||
| He wasn't a douchey thing. | ||
| And it was 7 in the morning, and I'm one of those guys that... | ||
| You get up early, man. | ||
| You want to round me up at 8? | ||
| You want to round me up at 11? | ||
| Go. | ||
| But at seven, don't fucking round me up, dog. | ||
| I'm smoking dope. | ||
| I'm playing with the cats. | ||
| I'm drinking coffee. | ||
| I'm having a good old time solo like a doctor, you know, giggling by myself in stupid jokes I'm writing. | ||
| And all of a sudden this guy sends me this and I look at it and I go, this fuck. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| He's right. | ||
| I'm fucking racially insensitive every day, and I wrote back, you're right, but at least I ain't racist. | ||
| Then you got a right to say something to me. | ||
| But because we're racially insensitive, and I'm insensitive to my own race, yours, his, whatever. | ||
| I don't even like my own race. | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| I'm mostly Italian with a little bit of Irish and I avoid most Italians and most Irish. | ||
| I have crazy genetics. | ||
| I don't like my race. | ||
| So there. | ||
| I think the idea of being racially insensitive is ridiculous because what they're getting upset at you is pointing out real shit about races. | ||
| Pointing out real shit that you think is funny that you see. | ||
| And if they get upset at that, that's on them, man. | ||
| You're attaching yourself to something you have no fucking control over and you even have pride Which is one of the most ridiculous things ever. | ||
| Oh, I'm fucking pride that I'm from this part of the ground. | ||
| It's just the stupidest thing ever. | ||
| The idea that, you know, I'm a proud this, I'm a proud that as a proud Greek. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| Just shut up. | ||
| Shut up with your dummy, you fucking individual on planet Earth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Stop it. | ||
| Putting too many labels. | ||
| The funny thing I still find themself. | ||
| I sit in my room sometimes. | ||
| If you put a tape recorder in my room, you're like, Joey, you're fucking racist. | ||
| But then if you look at my walls, you're like, you ain't fucking racist. | ||
| You got Bruce Lee on this wall. | ||
| You got Richard Pryor on this wall. | ||
| I'll tell you where nationalism is sort of even kind of admirable, kind of creepy, but kind of admirable is Brazil. | ||
| Because they are so nationalistic. | ||
| They love Brazil so much, man. | ||
| I've never been to a country that's so pro their country than Brazil. | ||
| Passionate, right? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| They're fucking more passionate about their nationalism than any country I've ever been a part of. | ||
| I wish that was here. | ||
| That passion, right? | ||
| That example from Brazil came over here to America. | ||
| I think we need a little bit of As long as it's not against other countries. | ||
| My issue is not with passion and pride in the individual country. | ||
| It's you against the rest of the world. | ||
| I think that's fucking pointless and nonsense. | ||
| That shit drives me nuts. | ||
| USA! USA! I hate that shit. | ||
| But here's the funny thing. | ||
| When I was in Jersey, somebody was fighting. | ||
| And somebody was yelling USA. And then I thought about what you told me about Brazil when Mike Powell won. | ||
| Mike Powell won and they were yelling. | ||
| They were calling him a fag. | ||
| I remember. | ||
| They were yelling. | ||
| What was the word? | ||
| Friago or something. | ||
| Fagano or something like that. | ||
| Yeah, Friago. | ||
| And the translator thought they were chanting Cigano. | ||
| They thought they were chanting Junior Dos Santos' name. | ||
| And I said, I don't think that's what they're saying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like she didn't want to say what they actually were saying. | ||
| And it's funny because now if you go to a Little League game or something like in the Little League, you're not even allowed to say nothing negative. | ||
| Like swing the ball. | ||
| You can't say nothing. | ||
| In today's society, the way they're bringing up these kids, if you go to a stadium now to watch a baseball game or a football game, it's a bunch of fucking people you can ranch dressing. | ||
| Except for the Dodger Stadium. | ||
| You've got to go there with fight gear on. | ||
| But fucking everywhere else it's pretty fucking decent. | ||
| Like nobody says nothing. | ||
| It's not like, hey you mother, when I was a kid and I'd go to Shea Stadium, Jesus fucking Christ, the Boston games in the 70s, they'd throw you off the fucking balcony. | ||
| Now we live in a society where you go to a game, people pay $300 for a ticket and they're well behaved. | ||
| In Jersey they were a little fucking crazy, but that was the craziest. | ||
| Somebody either had a heart attack on the side, At the fights, you mean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Somebody was fighting when Kaczek was fighting. | ||
| Somebody had a heart attack? | ||
| Somebody had somebody. | ||
| Somebody dropped from drunkness. | ||
| One of those fucking kind of jersey deals. | ||
| The guy behind me kept yelling, looking for work, looking for work. | ||
| And then he would sit down and pass out for 10 minutes. | ||
| Looking for work. | ||
| He didn't even know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's my uncle. | |
| He didn't even know he was fighting. | ||
| He just kept saying, looking for work. | ||
| Well, that's the cool thing about live events. | ||
| The cool thing and the bad thing. | ||
| It's like you might get lucky and sit next to Joey Diaz, or you might get fucked and sit next to a couple of drunk assholes. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Most likely. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Most likely. | ||
| Possibly. | ||
| It depends. | ||
| We never know, though. | ||
| It's interesting how different parts of the country have very distinct ways of gathering in crowds, too. | ||
| Like East Coast, they're a lot more aggressive, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I would hate to be in Jersey this week. | |
| I would hate to be in Jersey this week because that is the worst type of crowd in Jersey. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| What's this week? | ||
| The Kings are playing in the fucking finals. | ||
| Let me give you an example. | ||
| Who's the Kings? | ||
| Sacramento? | ||
| The hockey team. | ||
| The hockey team in Jersey. | ||
| When they won last time. | ||
| They won and they went to every bar in a 50 mile radius with the Stanley Cup and had a drink. | ||
| And then I was thinking about it when I was a kid. | ||
| You know how people say to you now, oh, American football is weak. | ||
| Fucking rugby is the sport. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I grew up, I played street hockey in Jersey in one of those leagues for three weeks, and that was one time where I actually doubted my manhood at the age of 13. I did that for three weeks because it's not hockey sticks and sneakers. | ||
| There's another value involved in this. | ||
| Cars! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cars! | |
| And you don't get, you ain't real until you get hit by a car. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, that's how you get props. | ||
| Like, dog, where's Joe? | ||
| He got hit by a car, but he's playing next Tuesday. | ||
| Like, that's how you got props, by getting hit by a car. | ||
| Like, people would smash into the... | ||
| Bro, to break... | ||
| Those brakes weren't good back then, either. | ||
| Listen, when you broke a Cadillac glass, not a windshield, because I'll understand what I'm saying, people. | ||
| When you dented a fucking Cadillac grill in the 70s... | ||
| You were going to a hospital. | ||
| That's an instant fucking who's my name, you know, squeezing the ball for the rest of your life. | ||
| They were different cars. | ||
| It's not like hitting the fucking Hyundai now where the thing bends a little bit. | ||
| We used to play street hockey with Tom McCann hockey sneakers. | ||
| Tom McCann, especially black bottoms so you would stick. | ||
| Dog, and they had these things where it was just you played for your neighborhood. | ||
| Like for your block, like 38th Street had a team against 51st Street, and you would walk over there with your hockey sticks, no roller skates, and it was in the street. | ||
| And if you were in the middle of a fucking roll and a car was coming, that motherfucker either had a weight or he was hitting you. | ||
| And somebody would get hit once a fucking month. | ||
| And that was like your badge of honor, like in those times, like he got hit by a car. | ||
| Dog, his head went through the side of a glass and he's coming back to play on Tuesday. | ||
| That was, this week in Jersey, you do not want to be in Jersey. | ||
| And they're playing L.A. So this week, like Wednesday night, you ain't getting a soul out. | ||
| You're going to sell out. | ||
| I'm going to sell out. | ||
| We're going to do fucking great. | ||
| But the rest of the city will be fucking dead because the Kings... | ||
| Devils? | ||
| The Devils Kings starts Wednesday. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| I didn't even know until today. | ||
| Somebody was like, yeah, the Kings are playing well. | ||
| And the finals? | ||
| In Jersey? | ||
| I don't know where they're playing Wednesday, but whatever the fuck it is, you don't want to be in Jersey. | ||
| So the Kings are the hockey team. | ||
| I didn't even know that they had a hockey team. | ||
| I thought they had the Devils. | ||
| Right, the Devils are from Jersey. | ||
| Oh, LA Kings, right. | ||
| I've heard of that. | ||
| Right, so remember Harris Pete used to work for the Kings. | ||
| Harris Pete worked for them? | ||
| Yeah, he used to be like a hockey coach for them or something. | ||
| He knew all those guys. | ||
| I don't remember that. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| I just remember he worked at the comedy store. | ||
| Didn't he get in a bad motorcycle accident? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think he hurt himself. | ||
| He used to drive all the way up the coast on his bike, but I'm pretty sure he wrecked. | ||
| That's so sad about Paul Williams, man. | ||
| Young kid. | ||
| What do you know about the story? | ||
| I just saw the headline. | ||
| Don't know much, man. | ||
| Don't know much, man. | ||
| The story is, brother, you're on a fucking motorcycle in 2012. What's he doing on a motorcycle? | ||
| You know, Ben Rosenberger on a motorcycle. | ||
| You got millions of dollars. | ||
| It's in your contract. | ||
| I understand you want to be Evel Knievel. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Go out to a fucking circle out in the swamps and ride your bike around in circles with a helmet and put a chick and have a suck your dick. | ||
| But to drive a motorcycle in today's society, my heart goes out to you. | ||
| Seriously, especially Joe Rogan. | ||
| You've seen him on the fucking 405 cuz doing 90 in between cars when you're stuck in bumper to bumper. | ||
| It's scary. | ||
| They live in a different world. | ||
| They live in a different world than you live in. | ||
| Their world is the world of they're on a ride and it's a fucking engine strap between their legs and they're risking life. | ||
| Red man, what's the story you told me today? | ||
| Play the fucking video for me. | ||
| What? | ||
| The guy with the helmet on where he chopped the car in half. | ||
| Yeah, we played it on here. | ||
| With a deer. | ||
| That shit happened? | ||
| You're chopping a deer in half with a fucking motorcycle? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that was a crazy video. | ||
| What the? | ||
| Yeah, that guy just hit it just right. | ||
| He hit that thing just right where he didn't die. | ||
| But he could have easily fucking got flown through the fucking air and landed on his neck. | ||
| Yeah, motorcycles are awesome, but... | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| Not worth it. | ||
| No protective outer shell. | ||
| So much fun. | ||
| Well, they're coming out with different jackets and clothes that is made out of a particular impact fiber that tightens up and hardens on impact. | ||
| So you actually can fly through the air and land on the fucking concrete and your body is protected from the impact by this stuff hardening. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Like on impact. | ||
| Yeah, I don't understand it. | ||
| I don't know how it works, but I, you know, it's like, how the fuck does an airbag work? | ||
| I don't understand that either. | ||
| I mean, it just, the impact senses, they sense something and it blows up this fucking bag in your face to save you. | ||
| Well, I think this is far more complex in that the actual fabric itself has like that property built into it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The airbag saving you. | ||
| I remember years ago, my mother was driving in the snow 20 miles an hour real slow. | ||
| The car skid, and she very lightly taps a telephone pole. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Airbag deploys, breaks her nose. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's a big problem. | ||
| And it kills kids in the front seat. | ||
| That's why you can't really have young kids in the front seat. | ||
| It's a pro and a con for some people, but whatever. | ||
| If it saves a life, I'll take a fucking broken nose and go into it. | ||
| I'm sure it saves tons of lives. | ||
| Well, if you've done any training at all, you've already broken your nose. | ||
| It ain't that bad. | ||
| Just stick some things in there, open the passage up. | ||
| The only problem is when you've got to clean it out. | ||
| Even then, it's not that big a deal. | ||
| I don't think Mrs. Dolce got into any fights lately. | ||
| She was a ref in the living room for the head lady. | ||
| This shit happens when you're the ref in the living room. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's true. | |
| Do you ever try to talk fighters into getting deviated septum fixed? | ||
| I talk all my fighters into dealing with doctors. | ||
| I want all my guys to have a doctor that they can go to and that can help coordinate their health and keep on top of it. | ||
| So their deviated septum, if they're not getting enough oxygen, we've got to address that. | ||
| There's so many dudes that are out there doing that. | ||
| Like Mayhem. | ||
| Mayhem has no nose. | ||
| His nose is totally useless. | ||
| And I try to tell him to fix that. | ||
| Like, you hear him talk. | ||
| He's got that sort of nasally tone to his voice. | ||
| It's because his nose doesn't work. | ||
| He has to spray Afrin up there every day. | ||
| What is that stuff? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| What's that shit that opens up your... | ||
| What is it called? | ||
| Afrin. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| The stuff that opens up your nostril. | ||
| If he doesn't do that, he can't breathe out of his nose. | ||
| And they're saying that stuff is really bad. | ||
| It's addictive. | ||
| It's the water. | ||
| The water is better because I do the other things. | ||
| Yeah, the water is good, but you should boil that water because there's been a bunch of cases recently of people getting parasites in their fucking head. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Real simple. | ||
| Real simple. | ||
| The fucking water sometimes is stuff that gets killed by your stomach acids and there's no problem whatsoever for that, but it's not the same if it goes up your nose. | ||
| If it goes up your nose, it actually becomes, there's just people who have gotten infected. | ||
| If you were a kid, you got stuck in a hot pot of water and put some Vicks on that motherfucker with a brown paper bag. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes, sir. | |
| And it would open up everything. | ||
| Your eyeballs. | ||
| You would see through walls for 10 minutes and shit. | ||
| Those are the good old fucking days. | ||
| Fatal infections, by the way. | ||
| In Louisiana, especially. | ||
| Louisiana Department of Health and Hospitals issued a warning about improper neti pot use, which has been linked to two deadly infections. | ||
| A 51-year-old woman from DeSoto Parish and a 20-year-old man from St. Bernard Padish died after using neti pots containing tap water to flush out their sinuses. | ||
| Both became infected with, sweat this, Nagleria fowlerii, a parasite known as a brain-eating amoeba. | ||
| Jesus fucking Christ! | ||
| Brain-eating amoebas from your tap water that you get from fucking pouring water up your nose. | ||
| Water is poison. | ||
| Water is filled with poison aliens that want to eat your brain. | ||
| Wrap your fucking head around that. | ||
| I mean, that's essentially what you're dealing with. | ||
| You're dealing with a life force. | ||
| I mean, this isn't like, oh, you've got some birth control pills in your nose. | ||
| No, this is an actual parasite. | ||
| It's a living organism. | ||
| It lives in fucking water that you drink. | ||
| You pour it up your nose and it eats your brain. | ||
| God damn! | ||
| What the fuck is it with water? | ||
| What's our next level here? | ||
| Do we got to put a pill in water at the house and boil it? | ||
| I don't believe this shit is any good either. | ||
| I know there's a fucking scam. | ||
| I think you got to boil that. | ||
| But if you go to Arizona, it tastes like dirt. | ||
| They say the best water is in Jersey, New York there. | ||
| I can't fucking see that. | ||
| Especially when you have the Hudson, yes. | ||
| Holy shit, there's a lot of deaths linked to this shit, man. | ||
| There is a lot of deaths linked to this. | ||
| And it's all the same brain-eating parasite. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Remember when Penn Jillette did the thing on bullshit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| Where he did the bar, the water bar in Hollywood, and he was giving people water, like telling them this is water from Europe, the mountains. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| Meanwhile, the waiter was in the backyard filling the fucking bottles of water hose, and these motherfucking mutts are like, oh, it's so harmony. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It was the shit from the... | ||
| From the back fucking hose at the restaurant. | ||
| The tap water. | ||
| You know? | ||
| So I don't trust dick when it comes... | ||
| This is the best... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| Yo, this stuff gets into people's fucking... | ||
| This is killing people that swim in fresh water. | ||
| Where is this? | ||
| In warm lakes. | ||
| This is killing people in Kansas. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Two kids died because of this brain-eating amoeba after swimming in a warm lake in August. | ||
| This is apparently, like, really common. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| What the fuck, man? | ||
| Don't go swimming in lakes out there, people. | ||
| Stay in your house. | ||
| Yeah, do not go swimming in lakes. | ||
| And stay away from trees because that Japanese beetle will get in your fucking asshole. | ||
| Ambiotic. | ||
| This is meningophilitis. | ||
| Ambiotic. | ||
| Amiobic? | ||
| Amiobic? | ||
| A-M-O-E-B-I-C? How do you say that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Amoebic? | ||
| Amoebic? | ||
| M-E-I-N? Mendoencephalitis? | ||
| Mendoencephalitis? | ||
| You know, there's really no need to make the brain-eating parasite and give it another fucking complicated name. | ||
| Why do they have, like, stage names? | ||
| You know? | ||
| They have, like, the name that you call them, like, you know, this is Notorious B.I.G. Brain-eating Parasite. | ||
| And then they have this fucking crazy Latin bullshit that nobody can say. | ||
| It's like, are you talking in English to an English-speaking person, you fuck? | ||
| What is this 70,000-fucking-letter word? | ||
| The IRS creates those words, I think. | ||
| Yeah, what if men... | ||
| They're the same thing with fucking drugs, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Lorazepam, Valium, warzapam, whatever the fuck. | ||
| Yeah, they have stage names. | ||
| They have stage names. | ||
| Just give me the fucking thing. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| You think this parasite is man-created? | ||
| Is it naturally occurring? | ||
| No, it's naturally occurring. | ||
| What people don't understand is when you see a lake, that is not just water and fish. | ||
| That's an ecosystem. | ||
| There's algae. | ||
| There's plants that are growing in there. | ||
| There's all sorts of fish shit. | ||
| Something has to eat that fish shit. | ||
| There's a lot of things going on there. | ||
| There's parasites. | ||
| That's one of the reasons why it's not safe to eat freshwater sushi. | ||
| You have to be really careful with freshwater sushi, like salmon and things along those lines. | ||
| Even fish that migrate, like salmon, they get parasites, man. | ||
| You should really only eat saltwater fish, like tuna and yellowtail and things along those lines. | ||
| A lot of people, like health advisors, tell you there's a certain amount of people that are going to get worms. | ||
| They're going to get parasites from eating sushi. | ||
| It just is what it is, especially if you eat freshwater stuff. | ||
| You don't know where the fuck that's coming from. | ||
| These could be coming from those farms, like farm-raised fish. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| You see those things? | ||
| They're just swimming pools filled with fish shit. | ||
| Fish and fish shit, and they're throwing pellets in there, and the fish eat the pellets. | ||
| It dyes their muscles so it is actually orange. | ||
| Yeah, that's the weirdest thing about domestic trout and salmon. | ||
| They don't even have the same color of their bodies. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What the fuck is that, man? | ||
| I mean, you know, even when it comes to food as a nutrition guy, who the fuck do you trust anymore? | ||
| Trust yourself. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| I mean, when you go to Whole Foods, am I getting the best meat available to me when I go to Gelson's? | ||
| And I'm just using these two names. | ||
| Do I go to the butcher, back to basics, and get my own fucking cow? | ||
| Like most people are doing now in the Midwest, they're raising their own cow and going everywhere on the weekends and feeding it and chopping it up. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| What do you trust? | ||
| Start local. | ||
| You know, try and start in your own backyard on your property and then go to your neighbor. | ||
| You know, start making little circles from your house and try and get your nutrients as local as possible. | ||
| That's the best way to do it. | ||
| Eventually you stumble onto the food chains like a Whole Foods or Trader Joe's or whatever else. | ||
| And then you have to be very specific. | ||
| Look for local sources that they get it from. | ||
| What do you do when a guy's a vegan? | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| Do you think that's healthy? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Absolutely? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| You just have to be careful about... | ||
| Is it healthy for all 120 years of your existence? | ||
| Maybe or maybe not. | ||
| Is it healthy if you're a combat athlete? | ||
| Maybe or maybe not. | ||
| Is it healthy... | ||
| Geographically, where you're located, do you have a full supply of all the nutrients necessary, the plant-based nutrients necessary? | ||
| Maybe or maybe not. | ||
| But veganism, as a philosophy or as a goal, I think is excellent. | ||
| Do we need meat proteins? | ||
| They certainly work very well, but... | ||
| You know, there are other options that should be considered and I think it's very unique to the individual in your moment, you know, in this space and time, maybe veganism is the right thing. | ||
| I like what I call vegan modified where we go through cycles. | ||
| I go through cycles. | ||
| I go like three days of vegan every three weeks or so or three months of vegan, you know, a year. | ||
| You know, I play with little things like that but also other ways, you know, hardcore meats, you know, now I'm getting a little away from red meats a little bit more lately so I'm kind of dabbling in other areas, more plant-based things. | ||
| When you talk to people about veganism, how do you set up to make sure that they get all the amino acids, all the nutrition, all the things just based on plants? | ||
| You have to be careful, right? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| People don't understand. | ||
| You can get protein from certain things, but it's not going to be a complete protein. | ||
| There's certain aspects of it that you're not going to get, that you would get from meat. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| So how do you monitor that? | ||
| Protein is broken down into amino acids, so you have to look at The nine essential amino acids. | ||
| Are you getting those in abundance based upon your need? | ||
| What's your requirement? | ||
| How often are your muscles rebuilding itself? | ||
| Let's say we'll talk about athletes. | ||
| They have a demand on their body. | ||
| They break their muscles down and they need protein and amino acids to rebuild that. | ||
| Get it back to the baseline and then improve from there. | ||
| Doing that as a vegan is very difficult, especially here in the United States, North America. | ||
| It's very hard just because there aren't quality vegan products available that aren't genetically modified. | ||
| I think genetically modified products do worse for you. | ||
| I do believe they do worse for you because we can't determine, can't predict the outcome. | ||
| We don't know what the future result is going to be. | ||
| We don't know what the long-term use is. | ||
| And I think there's immediate distortion in the way the body absorbs the nutrients. | ||
| And by the word genetically modified, kind of explain to people, What most people don't understand is that there are certain plants that are genetically modified for various reasons. | ||
| Some of them are to avoid parasites. | ||
| Some of them are to not get killed by pesticides so they can spray pesticides over everything. | ||
| Tell us some of the other reasons. | ||
| It's profit is why they're genetically modified. | ||
| So the plants can grow bigger and stronger and faster. | ||
| It's PEDs is what genetically modified GMO. By PEDs, you mean performance-enhancing drugs for plants. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's exactly what it is. | ||
| And there is a toxic effect to it. | ||
| I don't believe any man can step in and can alter what was naturally occurring on the planet with a positive outcome. | ||
| I just don't think we have the ability. | ||
| I think we're fooling ourselves. | ||
| The scientists or the people involved are fooling ourselves. | ||
| It certainly has that feeling to it like they haven't done all the due diligence as far as the long-term benefits. | ||
| It seems like it's food. | ||
| We're saying it's food. | ||
| It is food. | ||
| Everybody knows that food is okay. | ||
| It's not poison, so run with it. | ||
| It looks like food. | ||
| It looks like a photo of food more than it looks like food, and that's the problem. | ||
| Well, when Monsanto gets involved, first of all, they essentially have patents on life. | ||
| That alone is very strange. | ||
| I mean, what if, you know, the idea is, like, they do this for certain drugs. | ||
| Like, that's how bath salts have become legal, is what they essentially did was took something that's illegal and modified it very slightly. | ||
| And then it becomes legal. | ||
| They add one molecule to it and then it's not the same thing legally, so then it's okay. | ||
| Well, when you do that with life, you're owning all the corn. | ||
| That idea is insane, that they can take corn and then they add a little thing to the corn. | ||
| Now they own all that corn because they created it. | ||
| The fuck you created? | ||
| That's like going up to a Porsche and painting stripes on it. | ||
| And saying, well, I created this Porsche. | ||
| Now I get the patent on this Porsche. | ||
| It's like, it's complete, total... | ||
| That's a terrible analogy. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I tried to wing it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know what you're saying. | |
| You're pushing. | ||
| Out of the top of my head. | ||
| But the idea, they tried to patent pigs. | ||
| They tried to patent, literally, patent pig parts. | ||
| Because they're genetically modifying pigs. | ||
| They're trying to patent a pig that they genetically modify. | ||
| These are like some really unscrupulous, dangerous ideas. | ||
| Like, this is... | ||
| You're going to own life! | ||
| Like, what's next? | ||
| Are you going to take a person and modify just one little strand in that person's DNA and you made them from a zygote that someone had left behind in a fucking frozen lab when people take their embryos and they discard them? | ||
| Are you sure your frozen embryos are discarded? | ||
| What if someone comes along and adds a few fucking molecules to them? | ||
| Oh, it's not a person anymore. | ||
| It's a human fuckbag. | ||
| I just take it around with me. | ||
| It doesn't talk. | ||
| It can't go to work. | ||
| It just listens to me and I get to fuck it. | ||
| I mean, and it grows to full maturity in 24 months. | ||
| That's not outside the realm of possibility. | ||
| It sounds ridiculous. | ||
| I mean, it's obviously a joke, but if you can patent tomatoes, if you can patent, if you can own the design to something that all you did was alter, that's crazy. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| Really crazy. | ||
| And these politicians that have let this take place, you motherfuckers are guilty. | ||
| You're all guilty. | ||
| You're all cunts and crooks and you've fucked up the whole world because you started a chain of events. | ||
| And that chain of events, due to fucking greed, due to special interest groups, due to lobbyists, due to all those assholes that laced your fucking pockets and allowed you to allow people to do something you know is fucking evil and against nature. | ||
| You know it is. | ||
| They're gonna patent pigs. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here! | ||
| You crazy assholes. | ||
| You crazy, greedy cunts have set a chain of events in place that might take down the whole human race. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
| Because the thing about people, man, when they start making money, when they start making money with something, whether it's from bombing people or poisoning people, or once you start making money at something, it's very hard to change the law. | ||
| Very hard to stop that chain of events. | ||
| Because once they're in, the money's flowing. | ||
| People are getting greased. | ||
| There's no motivation whatsoever to stop that. | ||
| That's big money. | ||
| Big money. | ||
| Trillions of dollars worldwide. | ||
| More than the whole United States economy. | ||
| And one guy raises his hand and he either disappears or they pay him the fuck off too. | ||
| This is a dirty, dirty world. | ||
| Now how long has one sand open around? | ||
| Forever. | ||
| Just take a look. | ||
| So what administration did they fucking con? | ||
| That's probably Reagan. | ||
| Probably started off with Reagan. | ||
| A lot of bad shit started with the Reagan administration. | ||
| A lot of bad shit started with Reagan. | ||
| That was the first puppet. | ||
| That was the first. | ||
| We had a guy who made a living out of faking it, and he became the main guy that we needed to tell the truth. | ||
| He was a professional liar. | ||
| Ronald Reagan was an actor, and the essential actors are all professional liars. | ||
| He was a really good, convincing liar. | ||
| And that motherfucker was the president. | ||
| And from there, it all turned to shit. | ||
| And now today, it's amazing how everybody forgets that. | ||
| Let me see when it started. | ||
| It doesn't say when it started here. | ||
| Oh, 1901. Shazam, son. | ||
| They've been fucking things up for a long time. | ||
| They started in St. Louis. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| These crazy assholes. | ||
| And I bet you know what? | ||
| I bet they started off as a legitimate company. | ||
| They're trying to improve on products. | ||
| They probably were just trying to make better corn. | ||
| Probably trying to make a better tomato that doesn't rot out so quick. | ||
| They probably thought they were doing good things. | ||
| And then next thing you know, they're buying up mercs. | ||
| Taking over the fucking world. | ||
| 200,000 Indian farmers have committed suicide because of them. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| They got a loophole for all of them. | ||
| Yeah, they do. | ||
| International law. | ||
| They got a loophole for all of them where they would not fucking do it. | ||
| That's where the law is beautiful because we got, like you said, genetically, so I put two leaves on top of a fucking tomato and that's it. | ||
| I could change the fucking tomato because my tomato has two little fucking leaves. | ||
| It doesn't have a stem. | ||
| Can you imagine that shit? | ||
| It's really ridiculous. | ||
| That's really ridiculous. | ||
| I never knew about that. | ||
| It's really ridiculous. | ||
| It's ridiculous that you're allowed to do that. | ||
| It's criminal. | ||
| There's so many laws that are in place that are just so spectacularly corrupt. | ||
| It's hard to imagine that anybody takes voting seriously at this point. | ||
| Who does take voting seriously, unfortunately, here? | ||
| I don't anymore. | ||
| I don't hear any of my peers talking about it with confidence, like it matters. | ||
| People talk about politics and politicians like they talk about reality TV. It's not real anymore. | ||
| All that hopey changey shit. | ||
| Hopey changey. | ||
| Those are what Sarah Palin said about Obama. | ||
| How's that hopey changey thing working out for you? | ||
| It's kind of brutal when it's coming from a dingbat like her. | ||
| But meanwhile, she's fucking right. | ||
| She's on it. | ||
| This ain't no Hobie changey going on. | ||
| We're doing the same goddamn shit. | ||
| The economy's still sliding. | ||
| Everybody's talking about, oh, the job market rebounced back. | ||
| They hired more government people. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| How bad is the job market? | ||
| Are you guys out of work? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Terrible. | |
| The people you know are out of work. | ||
| Are you hearing about everybody hurting? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| I know the housing market is garbage because I know many people have lost their home. | ||
| A lot of people have. | ||
| When you go to Vegas for a UFC, And compare that. | ||
| It's because I live in Vegas, because all I see is people spending money and making money. | ||
| When I go to Cleveland, when I go to Columbus, I gauge, you look around. | ||
| We're here in LA, we're in the comedy business, the movie business, we see Mercedes. | ||
| But that's just a short amount. | ||
| That's why AFTR and SAG merged. | ||
| I mean, even shit's hurting fucking here. | ||
| But it's amazing when you look at an election. | ||
| And after you lived through an election, like once you lived through, what's the guy that came on the chick's dress? | ||
| Clinton. | ||
| Once you lived through his election, you really learned what an election was all about. | ||
| And you learned that, it's like when people look at a sporting event, they want to gamble and they look at the point spread. | ||
| That's the least of your fucking worries. | ||
| There's so many circumstances around that. | ||
| When you look at an election and see how somebody won, you know, when Clinton, they just involved in TV? Yeah. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| You've seen them. | ||
| They involved a generation that didn't think they had a vote and they just involved it and you see the little scams. | ||
| They sell the sizzle, not the steak. | ||
| And that's it. | ||
| And if you keep buying into the fucking sizzle, eventually one day, you know it doesn't take long after two elections when you're 30 and you've seen two or three elections to go, nothing has changed. | ||
| By the time you're 30, you should see this. | ||
| Nothing's really changed. | ||
| I'm going to go down there and drive old people to vote or whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| I'm still registered in my hometown in North Bergen, New Jersey. | ||
| I've had 19 fucking felonies and I still vote there on an absentee ballot because they don't give a fuck. | ||
| You've got to kill somebody in Jersey to stop voting. | ||
| Even then, you'll vote until your spirit's fucking voting. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Okay, you ready for this? | ||
| Monsanto made Agent Orange. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Isn't that what's in the Roundup, which is what's in the corn? | ||
| No, Agent Orange is what they sprayed on the crops in Vietnam. | ||
| I know that. | ||
| To kill them and all these fucking people, including John, our driver in Atlanta. | ||
| Remember that guy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That guy was awesome. | ||
| Our driver in Atlanta, he's sick from Agent Orange, from Vietnam. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, Agent Orange. | ||
| Oh, and DDT as well. | ||
| That's cute. | ||
| They made DDT. Wow. | ||
| What a crazy company. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| They began manufacturing DDT in 1944. Oh my god. | ||
| The insecticide was much welcomed in the fight against malaria-transmitting mosquitoes. | ||
| And then, I guess it's not good, right? | ||
| Maybe develop for a good purpose and then bastardize into profit. | ||
| What's really good for killing mosquitoes, though, and mosquitoes are cunts, this is a fucking crazy cycle, man. | ||
| There's a war going on. | ||
| All you vegans that love animals more than you love people, that's where I draw the line. | ||
| That's where I think you people are fucking crazy. | ||
| If there's a team you should be on, it's team people. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| I don't think you should be on Team Buffalo or Team Chicago or anything silly like that. | ||
| But as a race, who the fuck can you relate to if you can't relate to human beings? | ||
| There was a mountain lion that got shot in Santa Monica last week. | ||
| People protest. | ||
| Oh my god, they went crazy. | ||
| Why did you shoot? | ||
| The woman was like, on Facebook, this lady was like, I would gladly take a bullet for a mountain lion. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You understand the emotion, right? | ||
| The love she has maybe for nature, for life in itself, but... | ||
| The lack of love she has in life with humans. | ||
| With humans, yeah. | ||
| I mean, humans, your own, you know, if it was a family member or such, that would be a different commitment. | ||
| She said before a person, she said, I would gladly take a bullet for a mountain lion or a bear before I would a person. | ||
| Meanwhile, bears don't give a fuck about you. | ||
| If you got shot right in front of a bear, boom! | ||
| Your fucking head exploded. | ||
| The bear would walk over, sniff you, look around, start eating you. | ||
| Start eating your entrails. | ||
| Very simple. | ||
| That's what the bear would do. | ||
| That sweet mama bear would start eating your asshole. | ||
| Call her little kids over and jump in. | ||
| Mountain lions don't give a fuck if you get shot, you dummy. | ||
| You ridiculous bitch. | ||
| And this is out here? | ||
| Of course it is out here. | ||
| It's where people are soft. | ||
| It's crazy out here. | ||
| Walking in the restaurants is like walking in a reality show set. | ||
| You know, having dinner here last night was a trip and breakfast this morning. | ||
| In what way? | ||
| Just walk in and you see it's like cast members. | ||
| Perfect outfits. | ||
| The dude with the scarf around. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| And he's sitting there at dinner and he's got the cute little girlfriend who's all done up looking like she's straight off MTV. The hair's perfect. | ||
| And he's acting like he's a Jason Silva wannabe. | ||
| How smart he is and how much more he knows in his 22 years on the planet than her because she's only 21 and a half. | ||
| There's a lot of needy cunts out here. | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| Everything with a performance is crazy. | ||
| It really is crazy, especially the ones that get ready to look messy. | ||
| Have you seen those ones? | ||
| That they actually take an hour. | ||
| I don't want to look like I did myself. | ||
| I want to look like I walked out of a fucking bomb shed. | ||
| Let me walk out and they get the hair and they actually moose it so that it is so fucking crazy. | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| Thank you for fucking noticing. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| It's cool though. | ||
| It's like walking through the Matrix. | ||
| It is strange. | ||
| I try not to spend too much time in Hollywood itself, but if you do, you sometimes be surprised at how blatant it is. | ||
| I was like, Jesus, is this real? | ||
| This seems like it's so stereotypical. | ||
| So stereotypical. | ||
| How did you guys not see how goofy you look? | ||
| Truman Show. | ||
| It's like a big set. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Well, I think reality shows have really changed the culture significantly. | ||
| And most of us don't understand it or see it because, you know, we're out there in the world of stand-up comedy and the world of MMA. Two very, very real worlds. | ||
| But in here, in California, the reality is you can get famous for fucking nothing. | ||
| And if you do have a good concept, it's like... | ||
| I saw one where there was a guy who has a bunch of pretty girls who cut hair for him. | ||
| And he has a reality show. | ||
| It's a fucking haircut place and they wear bikinis and they cut hair. | ||
| And it's on HDNet. | ||
| I was like, Jesus Christ, you're just swinging at everything. | ||
| There's enough out there that all someone has to do is be semi-outrageous, and next thing you know, they're a professional personality. | ||
| And maybe that attention desire is unhealthy. | ||
| Maybe it's like Junie Browning, where it's coming from a place that's probably not that healthy. | ||
| The way he's lashing out like that. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| A place of a lack of discipline, or a place of a lack of love early on in his life, or whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| And currently, most likely. | ||
| Yeah, currently most likely. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, the last thing you want to do with a dude like that is, you know, put a fucking camera in his face and take him drinking. | ||
| Give him a hug, you know? | ||
| Go drink some chamomile tea. | ||
| I mean, how many guys went fucking absolutely apeshit bananas that were on The Ultimate Fighter? | ||
| A lot, man. | ||
| Mikey Burnett, remember he ran into the fucking wall headfirst and broke his neck? | ||
| He fucked his neck up, man. | ||
| Mikey put a helmet on and ran headfirst into a wall. | ||
| Like, you can't do that. | ||
| Lock 16 dudes up in a house for six weeks, make them fight each other, load them up full of booze. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| It's the craziest idea for a show ever. | ||
| The Ultimate Fighter is a genius fucking program. | ||
| Great TV. You know, like, the reason why Forrest and Stefan Bonner went at each other so hard, they just motherfuckers have been staring each other down for weeks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| For weeks and weeks and weeks, training and staring each other down, knowing that they were going to eventually throw knuckles at each other. | ||
| Two pitbulls in the cage, right? | ||
| Yeah, the finals of the Ultimate Fighter this weekend. | ||
| I'm not even going. | ||
| No, I'm not going. | ||
| I'm doing Canada. | ||
| I don't do the FX ones anymore. | ||
| I don't do the Fuel or the FX ones, but I miss doing the finals of the Ultimate Fighter. | ||
| It's fun indoctrinating these guys and seeing them get their trophy and seeing how happy they are. | ||
| That's a real journey, man, to go in that house For all those weeks. | ||
| And now it's 13 weeks. | ||
| Now it's even longer. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| These guys are locked away for 13 weeks now. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| A long time. | ||
| A lot of them have families. | ||
| A lot of them have children that they can't see. | ||
| That's three goddamn months plus. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| You know, you think it's hard going on the road for a couple of weeks. | ||
| No internet. | ||
| No TV. Nothing. | ||
| They get to watch the fights. | ||
| No book. | ||
| No Bible. | ||
| No books. | ||
| No Bible? | ||
| No Bible. | ||
| They used to be able to read Bibles, right? | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| On my season, they, as a prop, let me have one on fight day. | ||
| And that's the only piece of literature that was allowed on that day. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I bet if you wanted to do something wacky, though, like read Satan's Bible, you know, read some fucking 666. Yeah, if you wanted to get crazy, you fucking wore eyeliner when you fought and shit. | ||
| That's the new gimmick. | ||
| Isn't it funny that you could legally smoke a couple of cigarettes right before you fought and nobody would stop you? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| So stupid. | ||
| And EPO is not illegal, is it? | ||
| Is it illegal? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't think so. | |
| I don't think they screen for EPO. What's EPO? EPO is a performance-enhancing drug that cyclists are very fond of because it increases the amount of red blood cells in your body. | ||
| It basically mimics the effects. | ||
| Now, can you drink five-hour energy and go in there? | ||
| I think that might have... | ||
| Yeah, that only has the caffeine of a cup of coffee. | ||
| Five-hour energy is predominantly B12, one of the reasons why it works so well. | ||
| That's also what's also in that shroom tech sport, a shitload of fucking B12. And you'll be like, that shroom tech sport, you take four of those bitches and then you go work out an hour later, go work out? | ||
| Goddamn, man. | ||
| B12 is fucking incredible. | ||
| And cordyceps mushrooms, that's the mushroom that those people in high altitude take. | ||
| They started noticing their cattle were eating them and then being more active. | ||
| So people eventually start experimenting with them and taking them. | ||
| And it helps your body just produce more oxygen or absorb more oxygen. | ||
| Have you tried it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you feel a cognitive advantage by using it? | ||
| I feel the cognitive advantage for sure from this alpha brain stuff. | ||
| I am really fucking a pussy with this stuff. | ||
| If I go on the road, I panic if I fuck up and forget this. | ||
| And I have them send me some to hotels. | ||
| I don't want to be without this stuff. | ||
| If there's a show I have to do or if I have to do a podcast or I have to write, I want my brain firing. | ||
| Yeah, you could be fine if you eat a cheeseburger and don't eat healthy. | ||
| Yeah, you could be fine if you only got three hours sleep. | ||
| I can perform on all those things. | ||
| I can do that. | ||
| I can pull it together. | ||
| But we all know what's optimum. | ||
| You all know when we feel the best. | ||
| Like you were saying when you go on the road, that's a terrible feeling when you have to fly in and then you have to do radio. | ||
| You're fucking exhausted and you try to get some sleep that day, but you don't really get enough. | ||
| And then you got to wake up and go do a show. | ||
| Not now. | ||
| I'm talking about 10 years ago when you flew into Houston on Tuesday night. | ||
| You went out to eat. | ||
| You went back to your room, four in the morning. | ||
| You used to have those two hours. | ||
| Radio. | ||
| Remember there used to be afternoon radio? | ||
| Yeah, we used to have to do that. | ||
| So two days, you didn't even fucking sleep. | ||
| You slept an hour. | ||
| By the time Friday came, you can't fucking think straight. | ||
| You got two shows to do. | ||
| Yeah, well, that's the best thing ever about the podcast. | ||
| We don't have to do morning radio anymore. | ||
| Although there are friends of ours that I still like to go on their shows, like Opie and Anthony and guys along those lines. | ||
| I mean, there's still a lot of shows I like to do, Dale Dudley and Austin, but fucking, I need sleep, man. | ||
| But I'll tell you what sometimes. | ||
| Sleep is fucking important. | ||
| I'll tell you what sometimes. | ||
| Sometimes it's even good, sometimes, to be a little unconscious. | ||
| I've had my best sets on two hours of sleep. | ||
| Not drug-induced the night before. | ||
| I'm talking about two hours because you had a fly or... | ||
| Well, you come into it with a different attitude. | ||
| Right, you really do. | ||
| When you're unconscious sometimes, you don't want to think about what the fuck you're doing. | ||
| You know, I'm 40 fucking nine years old. | ||
| I went to New York with Joe a couple weeks ago. | ||
| And we're at a hotel. | ||
| And I wanted to smoke. | ||
| And there was a balcony. | ||
| And it was a crickety motherfucking balcony. | ||
| And it was small. | ||
| And I get out there the first night, and I'm smoking two hits, and I look down. | ||
| Do you know I threw the joint away and walked back into the place? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you get scared? | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
| It was mind-boggling. | ||
| But then the next night I went out there again, and I hit it again. | ||
| I didn't look down. | ||
| And nothing happened. | ||
| I walked in like nothing. | ||
| I said, you know what? | ||
| That's like our lives. | ||
| When we look at something, sometimes it's better not to fucking look. | ||
| Just go in there and go, you know what? | ||
| Give me this fucking yum yum pill. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There you go. | |
| Give it to me, cocksucker. | ||
| What's up, baby? | ||
| Mike Dolce and the fucker. | ||
| One more question I got and then I gotta go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shoot. | |
| I gotta ask you something. | ||
| First off, what is the paleo diet? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Paleo. | |
| Paleo. | ||
| Paleolithic period. | ||
| So the period before agriculture. | ||
| So meat. | ||
| Yeah, meat and vegetables. | ||
| There's things that grow and, you know, just animals. | ||
| Like today, I had a protein shake for breakfast and I had the tuna for lunch. | ||
| What kind of protein? | ||
| Uh, The one from fucking Way from GNC. Eight ounces of milk, two ice cubes, boom. | ||
| Because it gets me going. | ||
| I can't leave the house without eating. | ||
| So I need some, my blood sugar goes down, I get dizzy and shit, right? | ||
| So then for lunch I had a little six ounce ribeye that I cut thin, I go to the butcher, and I fry it up with garlic, with a little bit of fucking spam, and that's it. | ||
| I'm like Joe Rogan. | ||
| I like fucking a good steak. | ||
| I can't eat... | ||
| A 22-ounce sirloin no more, like when I was 22 in northern New Jersey at the Berkshire Diner. | ||
| But I like an 8-ounce, a 10-ounce strip. | ||
| In your book, you always use the turkey meat. | ||
| Any particular? | ||
| Well, I think right now, a lot of people are too, in this country, red meat dependent. | ||
| And their source of red meat is the wrong source. | ||
| They'll go to McDonald's. | ||
| That's red meat to them. | ||
| That's a burger that's good. | ||
| They'll go to Outback. | ||
| I don't know the quality per se, but I'm sure it's... | ||
| We're pretty confident it's not the highest quality, and they'll eat excessive amounts of that, 12-ounce, 16-ounce constantly, two meals a day, three meals a day, they'll have bacon, pork bacon at breakfast. | ||
| The calorie content at the end of the day is so much higher than some of the leaner meats, the poultry, the turkey, chicken, things like that. | ||
| So red meat, certainly, if that's part of your mindset, part of your culture, and you don't have any pre-existing medical conditions, you're not barred from eating red meat for whatever reason. | ||
| It's certainly fine. | ||
| It's fine to have in there. | ||
| But in moderation, I think everything in moderation, you should certainly rotate through the lean protein sources, the animal protein sources, just like you should through the plant-based sources. | ||
| I finally had on Joe's recommendation of one of these guys, the ostrich burger. | ||
| I took two bites of it. | ||
| Fucking delicious. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| Oh, ostrich burger at Fuddruckers? | ||
| God damn, that's good. | ||
| Stop talking about food. | ||
| Oh, it's fucking delicious. | ||
| I had two bites just to, like I said, I've got to prepare myself for this. | ||
| I like the extra lean turkey meat manwiches. | ||
| I just replace the meat with extra lean turkey and just put a little bit of half of the packet of the seasoning on it and it tastes just like manwich, but it's extra lean turkey. | ||
| Dramatically less calories, right? | ||
| What do you feel about supplements? | ||
| What kind of things do you get your guys on? | ||
| The first thing we get them on is the food. | ||
| Make sure they're eating a well-balanced diet of earth-grown nutrients in a consistent lifestyle. | ||
| Once that's been firmly established, then we can start to determine what supplements they may need. | ||
| Why do we start shotgunning supplements in place of food and then start to fill in the blanks with food? | ||
| It should be the other way around. | ||
| So we get that diet established first, and then we start looking at supplements. | ||
| And honestly, realistically, the supplements are very small, and it's dependent upon the person. | ||
| Of course, some guys prefer supplements. | ||
| They have more of that mentality. | ||
| But the people that aren't already biased towards supplements typically don't want to take supplements and have tremendous feedback and science. | ||
| Medical data, we get blood work done, they're exactly where they should be. | ||
| So it really doesn't warrant supplements in most of the cases, and that's most of the guys I work with. | ||
| Do you do blood work on the guys? | ||
| I suggest it. | ||
| I recommend it. | ||
| I'm not a doctor, but that's why I almost insist now with all my athletes. | ||
| They work directly with the doctor. | ||
| They get their blood work pulled every four to six weeks so we can analyze the data. | ||
| We constantly need to see where the athlete's at. | ||
| It's like they're dropping their hand when they bring it back. | ||
| Health is the same way. | ||
| We've got to stay on top of everything. | ||
| Now, when you see shit going down like this Alistair Overeem thing where they're checking him, you know, not even post-fight, but during training, you know, when they did the random drug test on everybody and Alistair, it turned out that he had taken some medication. | ||
| The story is that he had taken some medication and it inadvertently had testosterone in it and he wasn't aware he was going to get tested. | ||
| How do you feel about these sort of situations? | ||
| I think it's a lot of grandstanding. | ||
| It's politics. | ||
| It's bureaucracy. | ||
| You test the guys at competition. | ||
| That's fine. | ||
| Unless there's some sort of agreement beforehand, like they're talking about out-of-season blood testing. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| If that's the agreement, that's what the athlete's competing under, that's fine. | ||
| But I think the surprise drug test at the press conference, they're setting guys up to pinch them. | ||
| Now, should these guys be taking things? | ||
| It's a whole other conversation, and without knowing specifics, it's not my place to talk about it. | ||
| But I think it's really politics. | ||
| It probably comes down to dollars, or it comes down to ego, and it comes down to some sort of power struggle instead of truly trying to clean up the sport. | ||
| I don't think that's the way to clean up the sport. | ||
| I think that's the way to kind of, you know, Further agendas, and I don't think that agenda is helpful. | ||
| Yeah, it does get weird when it becomes an ego battle. | ||
| Like, I caught you and you're doing something you're not supposed to be doing. | ||
| Where do you draw the line and what's legal and what's not legal? | ||
| I mean, who gets to decide? | ||
| What is fair? | ||
| Why is creatine legal? | ||
| Creatine works. | ||
| Creatine is a real performance-enhancing supplement. | ||
| It's legit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It works. | |
| Just like caffeine is. | ||
| Caffeine is a tricky one because you can use a little bit of it. | ||
| We covered that. | ||
| It's weird that they let you use a little bit of it. | ||
| Let me ask you something, dog. | ||
| What is the general public pissed about? | ||
| That the people are doing steroids while they're training? | ||
| Or while they're performing, i.e., I'm throwing Roger Clemens in this motherfucker. | ||
| Why are they mad at Roger Clemens, Joe? | ||
| Because he was pitching, doing steroids before he pitched? | ||
| No, well, the argument, what's really pathetic is the argument is, first of all, Congress got involved, which is absurd. | ||
| Congress? | ||
| Congress. | ||
| Congressional hearings. | ||
| They had congressional hearings on people taking chemicals that aren't illegal. | ||
| They aren't legal. | ||
| In order to get better at playing baseball. | ||
| A ball with a stick. | ||
| And Congress is getting involved. | ||
| By the way, while two wars are going on. | ||
| The thing that they come down on the hardest is his example that he sets for the young kids who look up to him because he's doing America's favorite pastime. | ||
| And because it's America's favorite pastime, there's congressional hearings on it as opposed to cycling. | ||
| There's way more evidence of widespread abuse of cyclists I don't know. | ||
| Because there was some article in a magazine, it was like, the troubles behind him, Lance Armstrong looks for him. | ||
| I'm like, what are you talking about, the troubles behind him? | ||
| That guy got caught. | ||
| He's caught. | ||
| What athlete isn't looking for a competitive advantage? | ||
| Not MMA, not the combat sports, not football, not baseball, NASCAR and tennis, golf. | ||
| You think that they're not using cognitive supplements, drugs, who knows what it is, techniques, artificial ways to... | ||
| Have you heard of Sleduline? | ||
| I have not. | ||
| Sleduline is some new mentally performance enhancing drug. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There you go. | |
| Something that lasts like three hours. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| It's like some new thing that my doctor actually told me about. | ||
| He says it's staggering. | ||
| The newest. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The newest best thing. | ||
| Lasts for like three hours. | ||
| And it just turns you into a machine. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I haven't done it yet. | ||
| I haven't done it, but I'm scared to do it because I'll do that shit all day. | ||
| I wonder what it's like when you mix it with weed. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Report back. | ||
| Could you imagine? | ||
| Take that shit and you mix it with weed and all of a sudden, you know, you become like Dr. Manhattan for three hours. | ||
| We both, I mean, I don't know, but I know what it takes to be a champion. | ||
| And the reason why you would take those things is to recuperate. | ||
| Anything after 30, you're in your prime, whatever, I can understand. | ||
| I mean, if you're testing me at the fight day and I'm clean, I don't get it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, I think... | ||
| Well, the thing is, it's... | ||
| The enhancement is not just the enhancement inside when you test clean. | ||
| So if you go to a fight, you test clean. | ||
| It doesn't mean you've been cleaning your whole camp. | ||
| It means you cleaned yourself up the last few days or whatever the fuck it is you took, as long as you're not taking oil-based things. | ||
| You can take testosterone up until like... | ||
| A certain amount of time before the fight and still test normal and the problem with that is that you have been able to train harder than the other guy because you have been unnaturally elevated in your testosterone levels so you've been able to do two and three workouts a day and that's what there's a bunch of guys that are saying that one of the issues with training with so many guys getting injured is that a lot of the guys who are getting injured are not using And that these are the reasons why they're getting injured is because they're keeping up with guys who are using, | ||
| and they're trying to keep the same pace as guys who are using, and their body is fucking breaking down. | ||
| Because the shit that they're dealing with, when you're dealing with a guy that is training three times a day, and each session is at least an hour to two hours long, and they're intense sessions. | ||
| And they're doing it for six to eight weeks. | ||
| There is a lot of tissue breakdown and a lot of that tissue has to be built back up. | ||
| You know, that's also a problem with this performance-enhancing drug argument about testosterone replacement therapy. | ||
| Because if you catch me when I've been up all night and I haven't gotten any sleep and I've been working out two to three times a day and you go in and you get your testosterone test, guess what, fuckface? | ||
| It's going to be really low. | ||
| You know why it's really low? | ||
| Because your body's broken down. | ||
| So if you, and then you supplement the testosterone, well that is unnatural. | ||
| And you also have to realize that some guys are coming into camp where there's not like one standard level of fitness that guys are coming into camp with. | ||
| Some guys come into camp and these are like Herschel Walker type dudes that are in shape all year round, never get fat, never get out of shape, always disciplined, always training. | ||
| So they have a much thicker base When they get in, their cardiovascular base is healthier, their muscle endurance base is healthier, everything is healthier. | ||
| So they don't have to worry about overtraining as much. | ||
| They can keep a pace that the other guy can't. | ||
| But if those other guys try to keep up with that dude, that's when shit goes bad. | ||
| I see the argument that you shouldn't be allowed to be on steroids while you're fighting, but you shouldn't be allowed to train on them either. | ||
| If you're going to make them illegal, they've got to be illegal to train with too, because otherwise we have an unrealistic bar. | ||
| I'm not saying that performance-enhancing hormonal supplements shouldn't be legal, because I think they probably should. | ||
| They should just be closely monitored, and you've got to decide How do you want to regulate this? | ||
| Because eventually we're going to come up with things that are better than this and it's going to go by the wayside. | ||
| Science is not going to stop at testosterone replacement or hormonal replacement or bioidentic hormones. | ||
| They're going to have genetic engineering. | ||
| It's coming. | ||
| You're going to be able to literally manipulate your DNA. It's unquestionable, whether it's 100 years from now, or whether it's 50 years from now, or 20 years from now. | ||
| I don't know when it's going to take place, but there's going to be something that comes along, make no mistake about it, that makes steroids obsolete. | ||
| So then the argument is going to be, do we just say, fuck science? | ||
| Do we say, fuck progress? | ||
| Do we say that, or do we decide that, well, you know what? | ||
| If you want to compete as an athlete, you can't take the stuff that your fucking neighbor, the postman is taking, and the guy can jump over buildings. | ||
| Your neighbor can fly through the air like the Hulk, but you can't take that if you want to compete in kickboxing. | ||
| It gets a little squirrely. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Because what steroids are is science. | ||
| I mean, they work. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| They work. | ||
| You can't look like Lee Haney. | ||
| You can't look like that without some science. | ||
| You can't do it. | ||
| Yeah, and that's a whole other... | ||
| Lifestyle, let's say, than an athlete. | ||
| Right, sure. | ||
| What Haney and those guys are doing on that side of the sports performance spectrum. | ||
| Yeah, that's not really an athlete. | ||
| That's like sort of an artist with your body, right? | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's a science project also, and those guys know it. | ||
| They're trying to do things that have never been done before. | ||
| They're experimenting on themselves with all these new chemicals and new compounds. | ||
| You know, more size. | ||
| Remember the synthol craze back in the day when these dudes were injecting, you know, oil into their muscles to shape out... | ||
| It was an oil that would expand, blow up their muscle like a balloon, and it would stay and look like that. | ||
| Isn't that ridiculous? | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| And where'd that oil go? | ||
| It looks gross. | ||
| I mean, there were a few guys that actually did it well. | ||
| Can't say names, but are known to have done it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Some of the most classic, you know, like the artistic type of physique. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just amazing. | |
| Some amazing things. | ||
| Didn't Carrot Top do that recently? | ||
| It might have been photoshopped, but he's doing something. | ||
| Either he did it or it was photoshopped. | ||
| No, he's yoked, though. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| He was always yoked, but there was some added ridiculousness. | ||
| Brian, look up. | ||
| Google Carrot Top Synthol. | ||
| S-Y-N-T-H-O-L. I'm not hating on Carrot Top, by the way. | ||
| I don't ever hate on that dude. | ||
| I think Carrot Top seems like a nice guy. | ||
| But he didn't just get swole. | ||
| We can all tell when you're fucking juicing. | ||
| It's 2012. But it's not that. | ||
| It's craziness, Joey. | ||
| It looks like he's got balloons in his arms. | ||
| When I got a fucking three biceps on top of nine biceps, there's something not fucking right. | ||
| No, it looks like fake tits, man. | ||
| It looks crazy. | ||
| It's like balloons inside your body. | ||
| It doesn't look real at all. | ||
| We just watched Tom Platts' lives last week. | ||
| Which is awesome. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Double click on that. | ||
| Oh, I see what you're saying. | ||
| See how it pops out like balloons? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, the shoulders. | |
| Yeah, it's not real. | ||
| They could be implants, Doug. | ||
| Well, I don't think it is, though. | ||
| I think you just, like this guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Click on that guy. | ||
| That guy's a famous guy for it. | ||
| That guy, I was in contact with him on Twitter for a little while. | ||
| He's the guy that... | ||
| He was on that HBO show about it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Steroid. | ||
| Carrot Top steroids. | ||
| That's like... | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's got a good body. | ||
| He's built. | ||
| Sexy. | ||
| Carrot Top? | ||
| Carrot Top. | ||
| Looking pretty sexy. | ||
| The Synthol thing though, look up Synthol Dance. | ||
| Boy, Synthol Dance is a guy who has Synthol tits and Synthol arms and he's like dancing around and it doesn't even look remotely real, man. | ||
| It bounces up and down like he's got water balloons in his arms and tits. | ||
| It's really strange and he's like dancing. | ||
| You know, you think of all the people that take the juice and fucking really, you know, stick to the thing, you know, the diet. | ||
| How about the Yahoos in Jersey? | ||
| I mean, you worked at Montego Bay. | ||
| What about the guys down there that are just shooting that shit daily? | ||
| They're taking the pills with a beer and a line of blow. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| I saw it. | ||
| I saw it. | ||
| Your boy. | ||
| I saw it. | ||
| My boy Danny Bianculo one time at his house. | ||
| On the phone, arguing with his bitch. | ||
| Yeah, fuck you, you fuck. | ||
| And he's walking back and forth. | ||
| And all of a sudden, on top of his safe, in his safe was like money and a thousand of those little vials. | ||
| And he would take them out and he would cut the coat. | ||
| And while he was doing a line, his mom would shoot him in the air. | ||
| His mom comes in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
His mom. | |
| Jesus. | ||
| Ma, hurry up! | ||
| I'm on the phone, I'm hot, I'm cooking! | ||
| And he would fucking just pop them in the fucking ass and that's it. | ||
| And I knew for a fact, I ran with, you know, I was in Jersey in the early 80s when B-12, I was going to ask you if you ever shot it, my boys were shooting that shit. | ||
| And I used to drive my buddy to a house where they were guys and they would blast them with the B-12, the Deca de Roblin, you know in those days it was Deca, D-ball, Anivar, Winstroll. | ||
| It was very basic. | ||
| Five or six of them. | ||
| And he would get the B12 and he would go, Coco, as soon as they shoot you, you could taste it in your fucking mouth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bam! | |
| Bam! | ||
|
unidentified
|
He would taste it in your mouth. | |
| That's what he would taste in his mouth. | ||
| The vitamin would pop right up. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And it was amazing how all those guys are dead. | ||
| He didn't die from the HIV. He had the liver shit, the one. | ||
| What's number two? | ||
| The hepatitis? | ||
| Hepatitis 2, where you can't drink and shit. | ||
| But the rest of those boys that were shooting, they all died of the HIV. Jesus. | ||
| Yeah, from the 80s. | ||
| They didn't know. | ||
| Nobody knew back then. | ||
| They were in a room going, fuck it, look at my biceps. | ||
| They're bigger than yours. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shoot it. | |
| Bam! | ||
| Fuck it! | ||
| And they were sharing needles doing this stuff. | ||
| And they were sharing needles, yeah. | ||
| You didn't know. | ||
| In 82, nobody fucking knew. | ||
| Well, you know, bodybuilding and just lifting to get big is so different than doing it for a skill and for a sport. | ||
| What these guys are doing as MMA athletes is just trying to compete in the craziest, most shark-infested fucking ocean there is as far as sports go. | ||
| Fighters. | ||
| Professional fighters. | ||
| They're just trying to get any edge whatsoever. | ||
| The most highly conditioned athlete in the world is the MMA athlete. | ||
| It's amazing what these guys are doing and how it's still evolving. | ||
| The evolution is still... | ||
| I mean, what GSP... He was kind of ahead of the curve four or six years ago. | ||
| Now the average kid, teenagers training like GSP used to, not that long ago. | ||
| Yeah, well, then there's the Rory McDonalds, these guys who have trained in MMA since they were boys, and they don't have a base in wrestling. | ||
| They're MMA fighters from the jump. | ||
| And when you're fully dedicated and involved, like a guy like Rory is, and you're talented, and you're 21, and you're doing all the right things, and you're disciplined, and you're focused, and you're keeping your eyes on your pride, you can... | ||
| Some incredible results are possible. | ||
| Surrounded by the right team, right? | ||
| You got Feroz and GSP out there. | ||
| That kid's a beast, man. | ||
| And then along the lines of Jon Jones, along the lines of Jake Ellenbergers, these new guys that are coming up that are just fucking destroyers. | ||
| The 170-pound division, think about how many fucking destroyers are in that division. | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| And then think of the same thing, 155. 155 is like, who the fuck is next? | ||
| I guess Nate is next in line for the shot, but there's so many fucking talented guys between Anthony Pettis and fucking Clay Guida. | ||
| This is just a soup of awesome fighters. | ||
| And then it's Gilbert Melendez, then Josh Thompson. | ||
| Those guys fucking went to war a couple weeks ago. | ||
| That was an incredible fight. | ||
| Incredible fight. | ||
| Gilbert is right up there with the best in the world, in my opinion. | ||
| I think he's right up there with anybody. | ||
| And I think Josh is as well. | ||
| Josh looked fucking incredible in that fight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| I think that is one of the number one problems with a bunch of different organizations. | ||
| I would like to get them all fucking, get them in together. | ||
| But it's like, when you get 155, it's like, man, there's so many fighters. | ||
| It's almost impossible to get them all to fight each other. | ||
| The numbers are staggering. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Put on more events, right? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| How can you? | ||
| We're struggling now. | ||
| I mean, there's a reason. | ||
| That's why I don't do the FX or the Fuel shows anymore. | ||
| It got to be just too crazy. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| You know, I do the pay-per-views in the Fox, and then John Annex and Kenny Florian do the other ones, and then I think Bonner's going to do more of them, and Frank Mir, I think, is going to do Strikeforce, I've heard. | ||
| Frank Mir's great at it. | ||
| Frank Mir's really good. | ||
| He's a bright fucking guy, man. | ||
| So I'm doing the WEC stuff years ago when he did a great job out of the gate. | ||
| Did you ever work with him, nutrition-wise? | ||
| No, I haven't. | ||
| I spoke with him a few times, just socially. | ||
| Super cool guy. | ||
| Very intelligent. | ||
| Very smart guy. | ||
| Knows his body, knows his sport, knows science. | ||
| Yeah, I think people sleep on how smart Frank Mir is. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| He's judged a lot, in my opinion, by his dark days. | ||
| By the days where, after the motorcycle accident... | ||
| Oh, we all. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| Of course we are. | ||
| Yeah, he's a perfect example of a guy who got it back together again. | ||
| I mean, people don't remember when Pedro Pano beat him, when Brandon Vera stopped him. | ||
| I mean, that Frank Mir has no resemblance to the Frank Mir of today. | ||
| Yeah, he's a killer. | ||
| Yeah, but even he couldn't stop that Junior Dos Santos freight train. | ||
| Who can right now? | ||
| Well, that's one of the reasons why I wanted to see Alistair fight him, man. | ||
| I think if anybody... | ||
| Look, Alistair is, in my opinion, the most technical striker in the fucking heavyweight division, period. | ||
| Alistair's a beast, man. | ||
| The way he throws leg kicks, his technique is perfect. | ||
| He's strong as fuck. | ||
| He's big. | ||
| And at heavyweight, he's been massively successful. | ||
| Once he put all that weight on, he changed his focus and his training methods and concentrated a lot on physical strength. | ||
| The technique has always been there. | ||
| He concentrated a lot on his endurance and really worked hard. | ||
| It's unfortunate that that fight didn't take place. | ||
| It's unfortunate that if Alistair's telling the truth and that's exactly what happened, a doctor fucked him. | ||
| A doctor shot him up with something. | ||
| He added some inflammation and some problems, and a doctor gave him some anti-inflammatories mixed with testosterone, which you know, as well as anybody, will help you heal, but you're not supposed to be doing that, right? | ||
| I mean, that's the idea, but you're not supposed to be taking that ever if you're a professional fighter, right? | ||
| That's the idea behind it. | ||
| It's not like you can take... | ||
| Like, what happens if a professional fighter says, I'm going to take a year off to deal with an injury? | ||
| I got a torn knee ligament or something like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| Do they go and test him then while he's recovering from his knee surgery? | ||
| Should they? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do they? | |
| That's a good question. | ||
| Will they? | ||
| That is a good question. | ||
| Because a lot of doctors, that's when they will prescribe you steroids on a legal basis. | ||
| I know a guy who got an ACL operation and the doctor prescribed him Anivar. | ||
| The doctor said this is a safe substance to take as long as we only do it for X amount of weeks and this is what we're going to do. | ||
| Here's your program and this is going to accelerate your growth to get you back on track sooner. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| When it comes to ligaments, you really shouldn't ever try to compete for anything quicker than six months. | ||
| Six months for replacing a ligament, that's not even being conservative. | ||
| That's being still a little risky. | ||
| Six months is even still a little risky. | ||
| This guy just said, but this will help you put your muscle back and get you to the point where everything is strong and it'll heal your knee quicker. | ||
| So that becomes like a real question. | ||
| If you're going to say performance enhancing drugs are illegal, what about when a guy is clearly not competing? | ||
| What about a guy that's recovering from a knee surgery? | ||
| What do they do then? | ||
| Insulin. | ||
| What if you're diabetic, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's a much more anabolic, more powerful hormone than testosterone is. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| Insulin? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Bodybuilders, you know, they're hypertrophy. | ||
| Styled athletes, that's what they're looking for. | ||
| They're looking to grow and build muscle, get bigger, get stronger, get leaner. | ||
| And insulin really, that's the catalyst to store or for protein synthesis to build muscle and to burn body fat. | ||
| Is insulin dangerous to supplement? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| Insulin will kill you. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It will kill you, but it's legal. | ||
| So talk about testosterone. | ||
| Overdose testosterone, yeah, you get some pimples. | ||
| Maybe there's some long-term effects. | ||
| Won't immediately kill you. | ||
| Take a little bit too much insulin, you're dead. | ||
| You're in a coma. | ||
| Really? | ||
| You're carried out in a box. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, that's right. | ||
| I watched that Law& Order episode. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You watched it? | |
| He poisoned the wife. | ||
| She was a diabetic. | ||
| And that's how he killed her. | ||
| He came in and shot actually a little too much insulin. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| He got the will. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So how much do you take? | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| I don't know, and it would be irresponsible to say you should be speaking with your doctor and have a very specific dose. | ||
| Insulin, some diabetics, some blood sugar issues can certainly be controlled by diet and lifestyle that actually gets you off of insulin. | ||
| And that's kind of where you should be going to. | ||
| How much to take? | ||
| There's guys that do some crazy things. | ||
| Really? | ||
| They use the more is better philosophy. | ||
| Now, as far as diet goes, now if you see a high glycemic index diet, if you ate a lot of really sugary things, doesn't that cause your insulin to spike and it causes you to fatigue quicker? | ||
| Well, it depends when you take it. | ||
| Do you take it directly after a workout when your glycogen stores are low? | ||
| Then you should, right? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| I drink a protein drink and I eat a banana right after I work out. | ||
| That's the one thing that I do. | ||
| And it made a big difference in how I felt for the rest of the night. | ||
| I got to go to jiu-jitsu and I would wait until I got home before I would eat. | ||
| So I'd get in the shower, I'd shoot the shit with the guys at the gym, goodnight everybody, and then drive home. | ||
| It takes a half an hour almost to drive home from the gym. | ||
| By the time I got home, it was too late. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Crashing. | |
| Yeah, I was already crashing, and I didn't want to do shit. | ||
| But if I just had a protein drink, I would bring it with me, and I would bring coconut water. | ||
| I'd fill it in, fill the protein drink after workout, down it right away, and it made a huge difference in how I felt. | ||
| I felt much better, physically better for the rest of the night. | ||
| You went home, 30 to 45 minutes later, you had a well-balanced meal, and you felt awesome afterwards. | ||
| That's exactly what you should be doing. | ||
| You spike the insulin right after the workout. | ||
| Even more sugar than protein, a little bit of protein. | ||
| So you have a protein shake. | ||
| It should be more of a whole foods. | ||
| Fruit shake, you know, mixed up, kind of like your kale shake you do in the morning. | ||
| Maybe a little more sugar in there. | ||
| A little more citrus with more berries, a little more apple, what have you, pineapple. | ||
| Spike your insulin with a little bit of protein in there. | ||
| Is banana not enough? | ||
| Or should I have something instead of bananas? | ||
| No, banana is good, but you actually eat the banana, so it takes a little longer to break down where you can blend it, get in your system immediately. | ||
| So should I pour a little sugar in with my workout drink? | ||
| Some agave. | ||
| Agave? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is agave bad for you? | ||
| You know, that's still on the fence. | ||
| They say green tea's bad for you. | ||
| Some people say. | ||
| Everybody says everything's bad. | ||
| Too much oxygen is bad for you. | ||
| Too much love can be bad for you, right? | ||
| Dude, love is like oxygen. | ||
| You get too much, you get too high, not enough, and you're gonna die. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Love makes you high. | |
| Love makes you high. | ||
| Do you remember that song? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Who sang it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Love is like oxygen. | |
| Who sang it? | ||
| Air Supply? | ||
| 10CC. Who? | ||
| Remember that 10CC? No, I don't remember them. | ||
| They did, I'm fine in love, so don't forget. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think it's them, or it could be... | ||
| Who the fuck is that? | ||
| Love is like oxygen. | ||
| Sweet. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Brian, pull that shit up. | ||
| Sweet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's from 1978. The guitar is made in the beginning. | |
| It's a good fucking jam, man. | ||
| You always wonder if these guys that made one or two good jams and then they couldn't keep it together. | ||
| Sweet Love is Like Oxygen. | ||
| It's from 1978. These motherfuckers. | ||
| That was a weird time in the world, man. | ||
| You know, as far as nutrition goes, this is like the best time ever in human history. | ||
| Would you agree? | ||
| Well, or we could reverse it a few hundred years and maybe that was the best time. | ||
| But I mean, as far as like knowledge. | ||
| Knowledge, it's amazing. | ||
| Everywhere. | ||
| I mean, knowledge. | ||
| You know, it comes too fast. | ||
| Technology has allowed us. | ||
| Is this it? | ||
| Oh yeah, this is it. | ||
| Do you remember watching Rocky when he drank the raw eggs and went running? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| How bad is that for you? | ||
| Man, it's disgusting. | ||
| We were talking about that bacteria before, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Loaded full of bacteria. | ||
| How many times did you drink that same shake? | ||
| I did it once. | ||
| I did it right after I saw Rocky. | ||
| I was a little kid. | ||
| I got inspired. | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
| Give me some volume, Brian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Go, Brian. Brian. | |
| Go, Brian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Love makes you high. | |
| You know, that is one of the reasons why music is so much different than comedy. | ||
| Because in comedy, if a guy can pull off a jam, if a guy can pull off a hit, if a guy gets on stage and he's got a bit that knocks your fucking socks off, that guy can keep coming up with bits like that. | ||
| That's how that motherfucker thinks. | ||
| But not music, man. | ||
| They can nail one song, and then the rest can be just dog shit! | ||
| Yeah, because they worked all their life on the first album. | ||
| They worked all their life on the first album. | ||
| The second album is usually the do or die. | ||
| Yeah, but it's not even the first album. | ||
| It's a song. | ||
| It's like one or two songs. | ||
| Man, you don't know all the controlling fucking forces. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Just the fucking discipline involved. | ||
| I go to watch Eddie perform or Eddie and practice and it's fucking hard work, man. | ||
| That's work. | ||
| That's not what we do, man. | ||
| Musicians practice. | ||
| We fucking smoke weed and go on the internet and we write things down. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| You know, well, I just learned this about Sledgeline and then you sit down and you're at a computer and you make yourself laugh and giggle and then you write down anything that comes in your head throughout the day and then our practice is in front of an audience. | ||
| So our practice is, which by the way, tomorrow night, laugh fact, where am I? Ice House. | ||
| Where the fuck are we going? | ||
| Tomorrow night we're doing another Death Squad show here at the Ice House. | ||
| Just like we... | ||
| What are we going to call them? | ||
| Just Death Squad shows? | ||
| We need to have a name. | ||
| Death on a Wednesday night. | ||
| Ice House, bitches. | ||
| Wednesday night. | ||
|
unidentified
|
10 o'clock. | |
| Savagery. | ||
| 8.30. | ||
| I go up on the stage too. | ||
| I'm doing kidnapping A to Z. The history of the... | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| So make a night of it. | ||
| Make a night of it. | ||
| And you switch and go next door and shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We have... | |
| There's two rooms we're rocking tomorrow night. | ||
| Stage two? | ||
| The 8.30 show is Joey Diaz's one-man show. | ||
| Kidnapping. | ||
| And I'm going to come watch that, too. | ||
| That's at 8.30. | ||
| And then right after that, right next door at 10, that is the Ice House show that we're doing. | ||
| And I'm headlining it. | ||
| And it starts at 10 o'clock. | ||
| And we got Joey Diaz is on. | ||
| Ari Shafir is on. | ||
| Brian Callen might be showing up. | ||
| Christina Pazitsky. | ||
| Who else? | ||
| Tony Henscliffe, me, and maybe John Heffron. | ||
| And maybe John Heffron. | ||
| So these are jamming shows. | ||
| And we decided Wednesday night is a good night because almost everybody's home. | ||
| You know, most of us that go out of town, like this weekend I'm at the River Creek Casino. | ||
| I think it's sold out. | ||
| I'm in Edmonton, Alberta with Ari Shafir. | ||
| It may be sold out. | ||
| There was like 50 tickets left yesterday. | ||
| So if you jump on that shit, you dirty bitches. | ||
| But the Ice House, we haven't even announced it yet. | ||
| We're announcing it right now. | ||
| Icehouse... | ||
| Oh, wait a minute. | ||
| I already announced it on Twitter an hour ago. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's announced. | ||
| Tomorrow night. | ||
| Wednesday night. | ||
| Icehouse. | ||
| So, get on that shit. | ||
| Don't sleep. | ||
| Icehousecomedy.com. | ||
| You can buy tickets online and it will sell out. | ||
| We sold out last week and the week before that and all that shit. | ||
| So, we're doing them on a regular basis. | ||
| So, there you go, Joe Diaz. | ||
| You excited about that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm more excited about it. | ||
| I got to talk to Mike Dolce. | ||
| He's been Joey Diaz, let's make a goal for you, brother. | ||
| There's a reason why I wanted him to confront you, like when you were saying... | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Don't know me, you motherfucker. | ||
| Listen, I love you. | ||
| Don't know me. | ||
| When the guy says, what are your goals? | ||
| And you're like, I just want to eat a little bit. | ||
| That's not a goal. | ||
| Let's get a goal. | ||
| Let's write down a goal for you. | ||
| Like a health weight goal. | ||
| This is the thing. | ||
| When you eat breakfast... | ||
| Is that the right way to do it, Michael? | ||
| But this is what I'm trying to do. | ||
| Surrounded by love right now. | ||
| Before you even go there. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Three years ago, I would eat three eggs with a half a loaf of Wonder Bread with butter, a half a pound of bacon, and potatoes. | ||
| Today, when I eat eggs, I eat one egg, one piece of toast, and two pieces of center-cut bacon and oatmeal. | ||
| So what I managed to do is, I tried a couple, you know, ten years ago I would eat a sandwich with chips and a side of macaroni salad. | ||
| Now I eat a six inch with no chips and no macaroni salad. | ||
| Do you follow me? | ||
| It's like saying I do a little bit of coke. | ||
| Get on them, Mike. | ||
| Go get them! | ||
| So when I eat the pasta, everybody always talks about different pasta. | ||
| Is that your Sprite right there? | ||
| Is that my Sprite? | ||
| Is that your can of Sprite? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that empty? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What's the ingredients in that Sprite? | ||
| Dick. | ||
| Water. | ||
| Water? | ||
| Water. | ||
| Sugar. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let me see. | |
| It's zero. | ||
| It's Sprite zero. | ||
| Sprite zero. | ||
| So it's dick. | ||
| But it's got bad chemicals for you. | ||
| Doesn't have bad chemicals. | ||
| I don't even see where that chemicals are. | ||
| We've got water, citric acid, potassium citrate, natural fluid, potassium benzoate, aspartame, acylsulfamine, potassium. | ||
| So, and what do you get out of that? | ||
| That soda right there. | ||
| Well, guys, I get dick. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I mix it up. | ||
| I got a new fucking rule. | ||
| At the house, I got that thing from Costco now for the last two months, and I just drink water when I'm at the house. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| When I go out, that's my fucking treat, guy. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Have we earned a treat? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How? | |
| Tell me. | ||
| Because I fucking live better. | ||
| I sleep my eight hours. | ||
| I take my fucking vitamins in the morning. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So you've achieved your goal? | |
| You're where you want to be right now? | ||
| This is the end point? | ||
| Not really. | ||
| Where's the end point? | ||
| The end point's about 270. Okay. | ||
| And how far do we got to go? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I thought your head gets too big when you're 270. But here's the deal with two. | |
| My end goal is a lot of things. | ||
| What are you today? | ||
| The reason why I've been smoking this shit lately. | ||
| Well, let's back up. | ||
| What do you weigh right now? | ||
| 298. 298. 270 is the goal, so 28 pounds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| How are we going to get there? | ||
| Cut my intake, food. | ||
| What's the timeline? | ||
| Let's give ourselves a timeline right now. | ||
| It's what, May 29th? | ||
| Six months? | ||
| All right, 28 pounds, 30 pounds. | ||
| I don't kill myself. | ||
| Easily obtainable? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| So five pounds a month? | ||
| I could even do like eight pounds a month if I really try. | ||
| All right, two pounds a week. | ||
| That's pretty fucking... | ||
| I think we can do that. | ||
| So two pounds a week, that's the goal right now. | ||
| All right, great way to start that is to kick that out. | ||
| No, we'll kick the soda. | ||
| That's what I've been trying to do lately is just... | ||
| When I go out with friends, like I said, I have this insecurity. | ||
| I don't do dick. | ||
| Now you want me to fucking have one of these things? | ||
| I'd rather shoot myself in the fucking head. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's up, man? | |
| That's not necessary. | ||
| Come on now. | ||
| I'll go to the bar and get a glass of water, but I can't do that. | ||
| No, I'm saying I carry mine with me. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I gotta do something to feel like I'm fucking alive sometimes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're hanging out with great people? | ||
| Oh, no, no. | ||
| This is alive. | ||
| The sun is shining. | ||
| You're breathing. | ||
| It's a beautiful fucking day to be alive. | ||
| You know me, dog. | ||
| Every time I fucking get up, that's the first thing I do is thank everybody. | ||
| There we go. | ||
| You got to be fucking kidding me. | ||
| So two pounds a week now. | ||
| Let's find ways to do it. | ||
| So we got to start making changes, positive changes. | ||
| Let me ask you some questions about the lifting at my age. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| I like going in there twice a week and throwing some weights around. | ||
| It's not maximum weight. | ||
| I'm doing everything like you said, 12 to 15. I'm doing the bent over rows, which I really like. | ||
| One arm pulls. | ||
| I do the fucking upright rows. | ||
| I do the bike to warm up every time I go 30 to 45 minutes. | ||
| So working out is no problem. | ||
| You like exercise. | ||
| No, I fucking like it. | ||
| That's my thing. | ||
| So, troubleshooting, if it's not, the exercise is easy, it's the diet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's the diet. | |
| Breakfast, out of bed. | ||
| Out of bed. | ||
| You have the one egg white, you have some oatmeal, you have some toast. | ||
| I get up now and I drink water. | ||
| I'm not going to lie to you, I drink six ounces of water, and then I drink a cup of coffee with no sugar, black. | ||
| Perfect. | ||
| All right? | ||
| And then I wait a little while. | ||
| And then I go back in there and either, depending on my day, I have a protein shake from GNC. Okay. | ||
| Or I have one egg with a piece of toast with butter on it and bacon. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't like fucking milk. | ||
| I don't like almond milk because I looked at that thing in your book. | ||
| See, that's a problem I have with the book, but not really. | ||
| I even asked Joe about Quineau. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Quinoa. | |
| Quinoa. | ||
| Whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| The reason why I'm saying it, quinoa is a weird spelling. | ||
| It's Q-U-I... What is it? | ||
| Sesame Street? | ||
| You know what I'm fucking saying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| A lot of people don't know. | ||
| People have asked me on Twitter, and they spell it crazy. | ||
| Because we write quinoa. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It sounds like K-E-E-N-W... Q-U-I-O-N-A or something like that. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| How do you spell it, man? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Q-U-I-N-E-A. Yeah, there we go. | |
| Something like that. | ||
| Yeah, it's a Q-U... It fucked me up. | ||
| I looked in the thesaurus and everything, but I wanted to... | ||
| Have you tried it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know how easy it is to make? | |
| He looks like quinoa. | ||
| He looks like quinoa. | ||
| He looks like quinoa that comes in bags and sometimes he eats it with a steak or something. | ||
| He's going to fucking hate it. | ||
| So I'll try it, though. | ||
| It's what you mix it with. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa, whoa, whoa. | |
| Don't eat it by itself. | ||
| What are you going to make it with? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'll look at the fucking book and see what you got in it. | ||
| Sausage, a little bit of cheese. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| If that's what we got to do to get you on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Some marinara sauce. | |
| What the fuck, dog? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Perfect. | ||
| You get me some goddamn fucking hippie food. | ||
| It tastes like feet. | ||
| Wait a second. | ||
| Let's get something straight here. | ||
| Let's get fucking something straight right here. | ||
| Listen, I got to do something that a lot of people didn't do. | ||
| Joe Rogan will vouch for me. | ||
| He wasn't there for it. | ||
| I grew up in Jersey where there's great food in New York City. | ||
| I lived in San Francisco. | ||
| We go to Texas, which is the best fucking restaurant in the country, Texas. | ||
| We go to Vegas. | ||
| But the fucking restaurant that always got my dick hard was in Boulder, Colorado. | ||
| It was called the Harvest Restaurant. | ||
| On Pearl Street. | ||
| And because they had everything vegetarian. | ||
| You're looking at me going, Joey, I don't see it. | ||
| They had a vegetarian gazpacho that your asshole would fucking twink the whole way home. | ||
| I couldn't wait to taste it. | ||
| Swiss Harvest granola for breakfast. | ||
| I ate eggs. | ||
| I hate eggs, but the breakfast bowl you got is kind of fucked up for me. | ||
| So hopefully there's something in there. | ||
| Everybody loves it. | ||
| There's something in there. | ||
| I don't like egg whites either. | ||
| You got to put some heart in my motherfucking eggs. | ||
| No, there's no egg whites. | ||
| I don't have egg whites. | ||
| There was something in the breakfast bowl. | ||
| Oh, buckwheat! | ||
| And that shit? | ||
| That's for gluten-free. | ||
| Okay, yeah, I'm not gluten-free. | ||
| So use the oats. | ||
| Joey, the reason why I confronted you and the reason why I talked about it earlier and when I keep getting on to the point of you having a goal is because I know you've done it before. | ||
| I was really proud of you when you quit smoking and I was really proud of you when you lost all that weight. | ||
| Pretty impressive for a guy who, in my life, you've been a real impulsive, sort of wild dude. | ||
| Yeah, no, no, I got control, dog. | ||
| I'm a bad motherfucker. | ||
| When you want to, you have control, but sometimes, like you say, you give yourselves rewards that, like Mike said, you haven't earned. | ||
| And it's an impulsive thing. | ||
| It's part of being a great comic. | ||
| It's that, I don't give a fuck attitude, I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want to do. | ||
| Dog, when you're in fucking bed, At 7 a.m. | ||
| I'm walking my fucking wife to the train. | ||
| What reward aren't you fucking talking about? | ||
| What reward are you people? | ||
| How many people have told you I walk around North Hollywood? | ||
| No, it's no fucking reward. | ||
| The reward is I work every fucking day. | ||
| I had knee surgery and I had to sit at home. | ||
| So in that time, they told me to go to the fucking gym and bulk up. | ||
| I got this fucking Cuban body that when I touch a weight, I put fucking weight on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They told you to bulk up? | |
| No, they told me to do the fucking squats and all that shit. | ||
| Me doing squats, getting my metabolism going, I got to whack off, I got to bang the wife. | ||
| I go fucking bananas. | ||
| Then I went and got that GNC fucking protein powder and I added it on there. | ||
| But for fucking, I kept the weight off. | ||
| I was at 280, whatever. | ||
| I'm feeling good. | ||
| My blood pressure's down. | ||
| I'm on fish caps. | ||
| So basically, you just yelled and backed us into a corner because you didn't want to be confronted about reality. | ||
| There's no reality. | ||
| I work out every fucking day. | ||
| That's what I'm telling you. | ||
| I work out every fucking day. | ||
| You want to go after wine? | ||
| But what he's saying is when you drink Sprite. | ||
| Sprite zero. | ||
| No fucking points. | ||
| What? | ||
| What? | ||
| I watch things. | ||
| I'm on top of this shit. | ||
| There's nothing to confront. | ||
| I'm on the ball with you. | ||
| I purchased your book to enhance what I was doing. | ||
| I love Weight Watchers. | ||
| I love Weight Watchers. | ||
| So when you use the calorie concept, the calorie concept is wrong because a donut has 100 calories in it and a chicken breast has 100 calories in it. | ||
| Or six points. | ||
| Or you use the weight watcher points. | ||
| But the points, that doesn't mean you're healthy. | ||
| What's your nutrient quality? | ||
| Let's talk about your cells. | ||
| How do your cells look? | ||
| Because really we're just big blobs of cells. | ||
| We're billions and billions of cells. | ||
| What's the health of our cells? | ||
| The way you look, your physical presence right now, you're just a combination of cells. | ||
| And how healthy are these cells? | ||
| And that's based upon the nutrient quality of what it's taking in. | ||
| Also external science. | ||
| Factors of environment and then your relationships, things like that. | ||
| But your cells, so nutrient quality, you're talking about points. | ||
| Points mean nothing because it's just a calorie structure which is wrong. | ||
| You burn calories, you know, moving around throughout the day, your calorie expenditure changes dramatically. | ||
| You know, you're sitting in traffic, use that example, you're sitting in traffic for two hours, bumper to bumper, you're stuck, or you cruise home. | ||
| It's two totally different days. | ||
| You have two totally different nutritional needs. | ||
| So speaking with you, we need to focus on nutrient density. | ||
| You need to focus on nutrient density. | ||
| And that's not nutrient density. | ||
| That's garbage. | ||
| That's a bunch of chemicals in there. | ||
| Yeah, but that's just, that's no calories. | ||
| But that's one step. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's one little piece of thousands of other chemicals. | |
| But small decisions. | ||
| You can't live like a fucking priest all the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don't equate soda not drinking soda to being a priest. | |
| What would you rather me have? | ||
| Get him, Mike. | ||
| Get him, Mike. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sorry? | |
| Would you rather me have this? | ||
| You know what he's doing? | ||
| Dairy Queen. | ||
| Do you follow what I'm saying? | ||
| No, I'd rather have you have... | ||
| Some black coffee if you need something special. | ||
| I'm not a big coffee guy. | ||
| Have some tea. | ||
| Make water. | ||
| Make a tea at home. | ||
| Make something special. | ||
| Make your own citrus juice. | ||
| I make my own tea. | ||
| Bring it with you. | ||
| Get it locally. | ||
| I mean, you can walk out this door right now. | ||
| I don't like food in my fucking car. | ||
| But, you know, the place Joe went to, the Lovebirds. | ||
| Cafe and bakery. | ||
| I'm sure they have something good there. | ||
| We were here. | ||
| I'm not going to fucking walk around. | ||
| We're here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So now you're not going to walk three minutes to have something healthy. | |
| You're going to stay where you are to have something unhealthy. | ||
| And that is where the spiral begins. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So now you're skewing negative instead of skewing positive. | |
| I was happy to see you. | ||
| I wasn't going to excuse myself. | ||
| I'm happy to see you. | ||
| I'm going to get a fucking tea. | ||
| I would have walked with you. | ||
| I would have walked with you down there. | ||
| On my back if I have to. | ||
| To bring you to that. | ||
| You are his enemy. | ||
| He'll start screaming. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He loves you. | |
| Trying to get away from reality. | ||
| You guys will understand this. | ||
| Here was my reality. | ||
| Because he don't know dick, this fucking guy, when it comes to this shit. | ||
| Who doesn't know dick? | ||
| Me? | ||
| Me? | ||
| Motherfucker, I know you better than you know you. | ||
| When I woke up in the morning after I do coke, if I had a piece of sushi, that was my workout for the day. | ||
| I thought in the back of my mind that sushi would cleanse the cocaine out of my life. | ||
| I actually believe that if you drank pomegranate juice... | ||
| And wheatgrass. | ||
| I could go out and do blow tonight. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| So this is the guy you're talking to about this shit. | ||
| So now I'm telling you that on Sundays... | ||
| Well, you're a new guy now. | ||
| That's the old guy. | ||
| Joe Rogan, what's my rule? | ||
| What's my fucking rule about the road? | ||
| I don't want to be on a fucking notes show on a Sunday night. | ||
| And there's reasons. | ||
| Because on Sundays, I go to a farmer's market every fucking week. | ||
| And I buy fruit. | ||
| I buy bananas. | ||
| I throw them in my fucking protein shakes. | ||
| I try. | ||
| You know what I drink? | ||
| I drink. | ||
| This is what was going on. | ||
| Didn't you guys do a Sunday show in Cleveland? | ||
| No. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| I was back by 10-51. | ||
| No, fuck you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| That's part of the discipline. | ||
| You should know. | ||
| Hi, Joey. | ||
| We'd like to book you on a Sunday night. | ||
| Fuck your mother. | ||
| Unless you're paying the freight, I can't do it. | ||
| Because you're knocking me out of That's part of my fucking week. | ||
| That's part of my fucking week. | ||
| Ten years ago, if I went to a restaurant, I thought that was healthy. | ||
| Mike, before the book, you don't know how nice it is in the morning to make one egg and know you're not eating home fries and a bunch of disgusting butter from a fucking diner. | ||
| I grew up in Jersey eating the fucking diners, brother. | ||
| So now I try to plan my meals. | ||
| I miss the diners sometimes, too. | ||
| Oh, an open steak sandwich with gravy on those french fries. | ||
| Cheeseburger deluxe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A cheeseburger deluxe. | ||
| Coleslaw on the cheeseburger. | ||
| But every time I go to Jersey, I say to myself, I'm going to get a cheeseburger deluxe, and I don't. | ||
| So when I'm in Jersey with Johnny Hendricks on this last Fox card, I'm home. | ||
| Every single day, I had Jersey fries, disco fries, which is French fries, brown gravy, melted mozzarella, baked in the oven every day, and pork roll and cheese. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So there's my earned meals because I've been grinding for so long. | ||
| I'm going home, I'm going to New Jersey, I'm eating like a crazy motherfucker. | ||
| And that's exactly what I did. | ||
| I built that up and I worked towards it. | ||
| I knew six weeks beforehand I'm going to do it. | ||
| Do you believe in cheat days? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Cheat days, cheat meals. | ||
| And I use the term earned meals because cheating has a negative connotation. | ||
| I'm going to earn this. | ||
| I'm going to earn this. | ||
| And I plan. | ||
| Man, seven weeks from now, I'll be back in Jersey. | ||
| We're going to the pizza place. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Work out hard. | ||
| I'm going to run farther. | ||
| I'm going to eat better. | ||
| I'm going to do more things so I can have the investment in myself where I can go out there and do a little bit more and feel good and have that emotional purge also. | ||
| You know how we can put you on the map, Mike Dolce? | ||
| Let's get Joey Diaz healthy. | ||
| Can we get Joey Diaz really healthy? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| I think we've already started the process. | ||
| I think we started today because you're showing him he's not taking any of his bullshit. | ||
| He's screaming and yelling at you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love it. | |
| I'm going to send you a tape every week. | ||
| Tucked it in. | ||
| Mad Flavor World. | ||
| That's how I'm doing it from now on. | ||
| Mad Flavor World. | ||
| I'm here with my man Mike Dolce. | ||
| We're in the middle of a podcast and Joey just pulled out a camera and is making videos. | ||
| It's not filming. | ||
| It is not filming? | ||
| Ah, Brian's a wizard. | ||
| You can't trick Brian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can't trick Brian with some technology. | |
| No, I'm not saying it wasn't you on purpose, but you know. | ||
| You see, you know when the fucking thing is working. | ||
| Joey has no idea. | ||
| I had a fucking video right there. | ||
| Mad Flavor here with my boys, Joe Rogan, Mike fucking Dolce and Red Band. | ||
| They put me on the Dolce Challenge. | ||
| How many pounds? | ||
| 30 pounds in six fucking months. | ||
| The goal is to make your head look too big. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| But it's really about being healthy. | ||
| So every week I'm going to make a little YouTube video for Mike and show him that I'm working on it. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Two pounds a week. | ||
| We started it. | ||
| We started it right here. | ||
| We started the revolution. | ||
| I'm going to be fucking... | ||
| Yo! | ||
| That's shit. | ||
| That's, by the way, lose two pounds, Joey. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Lose two pounds. | |
| Lose two pounds. | ||
| What the fuck, dog? | ||
| Why are you busting my balls? | ||
| Listen, folks, you could give Joey some love and encouragement tomorrow night at the Ice House, 10 p.m. | ||
| show, and at the 8.30. | ||
| I don't need no fucking love and encouragement. | ||
| He needs love, he needs encouragement. | ||
| And then there's an 830 show Joey's doing in the second room. | ||
| It's a small room. | ||
| The second room only has 85 seats. | ||
| It's a real small room. | ||
| 626-577-1894. | ||
| Call now, and then the fucking suspense. | ||
| Or go to IceHouseComedy.com and follow them on Twitter, IceHouseCC.com. | ||
| And also follow the Dolce Diet. | ||
| V-D-O-L-C-E Diet. | ||
| If you don't know how to spell diet, go fuck yourself. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How about that? | |
| Ha ha ha ha! | ||
| That's the new shirt. | ||
| Thank you, everybody, for tuning into this podcast. | ||
| Thank you, Mike Dolce. | ||
| It was a fucking brilliant time. | ||
| Thank you, Joey. | ||
| I'm sorry we had to confront you, but I do it out of love. | ||
| You know I do it out of love. | ||
| I had an opportunity to grab you and hold you down, and Mike Dolce helped me out. | ||
| We're going to get you in the right... | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| We're going to get you in the right motion right now, man. | ||
| Thank you for having me on. | ||
| Thank you for being here, man. | ||
| Anytime, man. | ||
| You know your family. | ||
| And thank you, everybody, for tuning in. | ||
| Thank you to The Fleshlight. | ||
| Go to JoeRogan.net. | ||
| Click on the link to The Fleshlight. | ||
| I'm on The Joe Rogan Show, bitches! | ||
| Death Squad. | ||
| Mike Dolce is the official nutritional provider for Death Squad. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Official. | ||
| He's an official nutritionist. | ||
| Go to Twitter and ask him questions because he answers people on Sundays. | ||
| Yes, he does. | ||
| And your book is? | ||
| It's The Dolce Diet, Living Lean. | ||
| Go to thedolcediet.com. | ||
| It's on Kindle and all that good stuff. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| So you can get it on Amazon. | ||
| You get two books and a shirt for a deal. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Beautiful. | |
| I don't fuck around. | ||
| Oh, nice. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| All right, so please support Mike Dolce and go get that book, you dirty bitches. | ||
| And thank you, everybody. | ||
| Thanks to The Fleshlight. | ||
| Thank you to Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, makers of Alpha Brain, Shroom Tech Sport, Shroom Tech Immune, and New Mood, and hemp protein powder is coming soon, and you're going to love it. | ||
| It's the best tasting shit of all time. | ||
| We'll see you tomorrow with the great Bobcat Goldweight. | ||
| Oh, my goodness. | ||
| Brian might have a little geek boner. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yay! | |
| And it's one more guy that hates Jay Moore. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. |
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