Joe Rogan, Mike Dolce, and Joey Diaz dive into nutrition for MMA fighters—Dolce’s treadmill-based training avoids injury while Rogan critiques toxic locker rooms risking champions like Dominic Cruz. Diaz shares his 100-pound weight loss, linking discipline to breaking cycles of obesity and addiction, but mocks quinoa, sparking Dolce’s defense. They debate whole foods vs. supplements, exposing corporate greed (Monsanto’s GMOs, Agent Orange) and unfair drug regulations, like creatine bans amid unchecked cognitive enhancers. Diaz accepts a "Dolce Challenge" to lose two pounds weekly, embracing accountability over fad diets, while Rogan humorously pushes his book The Dolce Diet, Living Lean—all underscoring how structured goals outperform fleeting fixes in health and performance. [Automatically generated summary]
It's one of those things where people would give a shit about it, and they have from the beginning, and we don't have to name names, but certain people who might have a vested interest in my professional career, they think, well, Joe Rogan, I just don't think that's the right thing to do.
Joe Rogan, that just seems like a fucking disgusting thing to be endorsing.
And I say, how dare you?
How dare you take me, a person who has basically staked my whole fucking existence on telling the truth about everything, no matter how uncomfortable it is, and you want me to shut down the rubber pussy business?
Well, guess what?
The rubber pussy is way better than fucking your hand.
It's just better.
Guess what?
The rubber pussy is probably better than a lot of girls you've had sex with.
And that's not a joke.
It's like the best vagina ever, and it's fake.
Of course, it's not attached to a human.
It's not as good as having sex.
It's not like I'm asking you to be dehuman or anything like that.
But I'm just saying, if you're going to beat off, and you're going to beat off...
The only problem is you will shoot like a real sexual load.
Not like a jerking off load.
You shoot like a sex load.
So it puts you away.
You'll fall asleep.
You do have the possibility of waking up with someone screaming at you while you've got the fleshlight still on your dick and you're out cold with your pants down with your ankles.
We're much more concerned with people not feeling ripped off.
This is also why we have a 100% money back guarantee on the first order of 30 pills that you buy.
When you buy it, you try it out, you go, I don't feel like that was worth it.
You don't even have to send it back.
You just tell us and you get your money back.
We're trying as hard as humanly possible to not rip anybody off and to sell something that I believe in and that I've been using for a long time.
I'm a big advocate of nutrition.
I'm a big advocate of vitamins and supplements and eating healthy foods and a lot of fresh vegetables and get your phytonutrients in and healthy bacteria in your body like probiotics.
I'm a big fan of acidophilus and I'm a big fan of nootropics.
If you're interested in any of this stuff, please Google it.
It's N-O-O-T-R-O-P-I-C. That's the word, nootropic.
A lot of controversy on it.
Both sides have interesting arguments.
For me, I've had excellent results.
I believe in them 100%, and that's why I endorse Onnit, and that's why Onnit is a sponsor of the podcast.
There's a bunch of different other supplements on it.
One of them is called Shroom Tech Sport.
There's going to be a big two-page article about that in Fighters Only.
I'm excited about that.
They just sent it to me the other day.
People fucking love it.
It's one of the best supplements I have ever used as far as endurance, as far as giving you energy while you work out.
It's got cordyceps mushrooms in it and a ton of B12 and a lot of other shit.
Like I said, if you can find the ingredients, go steal it.
Steal the ingredients.
Make your own shit, dude.
Save some money.
But if you don't want to save any money, go to Onnit.com.
If you want to save 10%, use the code name ROGAN and you get 10% off any...
In all orders.
Yeah, if you're like, I don't give a fuck, yo.
I'm that kind of baller.
There's some people that just won't cut coupons.
You know what I'm saying?
Alright, that's it, folks.
Mike Dolce is here, and we're gonna get to the bottom of shit.
Mike Dolce, you are a nutritional consultant to all these various MMA fighters and probably the most famous one, certainly the most famous one by a long shot.
I can't think of anybody who has gotten so many different fighters on track as far as nutrition, as far as getting their weight in order.
So many guys like Tiago Alves who had always had problems.
Getting on weight.
Once he started working with you, no problems.
What got you into this?
Do you have a background in nutrition from college?
Their seeds or whatever the fuck it is gets in the air and it gets to other people's land somehow or another.
And these people, they get cross-pollinated.
And so they started growing these genetically modified crops unbeknownst to them.
And then they get sued by Monsanto, which is incredible.
The crazy thing about those Monsanto things is you can't even get seeds from them.
You know, like you buy the corn.
It's like the way it used to be is you would buy corn, you get the seeds from that corn itself, plant it and make new corn.
Like that's how plants work.
Monsanto, they don't roll like that.
They don't roll like that.
You ain't getting no seeds, bitch.
You don't get seeds.
You don't get seeds.
They don't make seeds.
Their seeds make food and then you own it next year.
You own it this year.
You buy the seeds for the year.
So if you have some plants and you think you're gonna just go old school American Indian style and just take the seeds from them and we'll harvest and we'll create a beautiful sustainable environment.
But what's happening is they essentially go in economic hitman style and offer these people seeds and sort of take over the situation and make sure that these people are using their stuff.
And then the farmers, they get stuck owing fuckloads of money.
Like you're out there just, even if you were playing pool, if you were lined up on a difficult shot and a bunch of people were talking, you'd be like, will you shut the fuck up?
Well, I mean, everybody has, we all have yes men, right, in our own way, and it's the motivation, or it's what's best for the athlete at that given time.
You know, some athletes need some yes men around them just to keep their confidence up and keep their lifestyle secure.
But it's the people that are kind of pushing in the wrong areas at that given point, you know, eight weeks before a fight, six, four, two, you know, the closer you get, the less room for inefficiency, I think you have.
So you kind of I think I help with some guys eliminate that.
And sometimes it's through nutrition.
Sometimes it's through training too much, too little, sleep patterns, just perception.
And sometimes it's other aspects of the team.
Maybe not it's external, it's internal.
The striking coach or the wrestling coach or one coach wants to do too much or all the coaches want to do too much.
So being that I'm with the athlete more often, I can see what their recuperation level is, how they're performing daily and kind of moderate the peaking, let's say, or the intensity and the volume of the overall training session.
So when you go to these different camps, do you see like a constant paradigm like replaying itself over and over again or one guy's trying to get in control of the camp and the other guy's trying to push that guy out?
Do you see like a lot of that psychological bullshit that goes on behind the scenes?
Yeah, but I don't think it's any different in a fight camp than it is in a family or an office environment or the PTA. That's probably worse, but it's everywhere.
I'm blessed that a lot of the teams that I work with, I'm fortunate enough to work with, there's none of that.
We all respect each other as professionals.
The athlete's the boss.
I call it the Microsoft structure.
The athlete is Bill Gates.
I'm the best damn keyboard builder in the world.
That's what I do, and that's all I want to do.
I can certainly help the guy that's building the monitor in the office next to me, but I'm the best keyboard guy, and we'll communicate around the board, and we'll give everything to the man on top.
I don't think people realize the importance for a fighter of having a strong and professional team.
Having people that are not bullshit artists, they're not charlatans, they're not egomaniacs, they know what the fuck they're doing, they're professionals.
That's what they're there for.
And everybody has a job, be it a nutritionist, be it a strength and conditioning coach.
Everyone is the real fucking deal.
That's a real jiu-jitsu coach.
This is a real Muay Thai coach.
And, you know, one of the things that's driving me crazy is all these fighters that are getting injured, like Dominic Cruz got injured, because they're all training together all in one room.
Dominic Cruz is preparing to defend his fucking bantamweight world title, and his knee gets blown out because someone lands on him.
That's fucked up.
You're talking about someone he's not training with, if people don't understand this.
He's training with one person, they're sparring, and next to him, two other dudes are working out and they collide into the champ.
First of all, those dudes are idiots.
Those dudes, whoever the fuck was driving that takedown was an idiot.
Whoever the fuck was defending it was an idiot.
Those guys are right next to a guy who's preparing to fucking train for his world title.
Yeah, I shouldn't have said that guys who are training are idiots.
What I should say is it's an idiotic way to set up a room.
It's an idiotic way to set up a training room when a guy's training for the fucking world title.
Period.
It's crazy bush league.
Like, I hear it.
It drives me nuts.
When you come to a camp, you're obviously brought in for nutrition, but if you see some other bullshit, some things that you need to deal with, some things that you'd say to the athlete, here's your problem.
You have this big social drama going on, and you've got to pick a side and stick with that, and then be done with this.
Because otherwise, you're dealing with this fucking social shit, and that's taking up resources that you could be using to train and concentrate on your opponent.
And you have the luxury of really being so requested that you don't have to worry about this one guy who's going to fire you because you upset his friend.
You would think this dude ain't taking no shit from nobody.
And, you know, night before his fight, his girlfriend wants to fucking fight all night and won't let him sleep and keeps waking him up and fucking with him, calling him a loser and leaves in the middle of the night and doesn't say where he's going.
He can't go back to sleep.
He's calling her phone.
She won't answer.
They're in Vegas.
This bitch just went out at 5 a.m.
You know?
And these guys have to fight the next day and deal with it.
Because...
A lot of...
To become a professional athlete, to become a guy especially who wants to be a cage fighter, you know, a lot of these people are, you know, they're the type of impulsive athletes that attract crazy broads.
Because crazy broads do nutty shit, like, you know...
You know, they'll suck your dick like 10 minutes after meeting you and you're like, whoa, this bitch is hot.
This is nuts.
Well, she's crazy.
She's fucking crazy.
And then the crazy impulsiveness that made her blow you in a bathroom, that's not what leads to a good relationship.
So you push the water through your body to start the digestive process to start working, to prepare your digestive environment for the food that's next to come.
So now you put the nutrients into the body.
We get the metabolism start to work, start to process.
And then if you're a coffee drinker, then you can have some coffee, which is acidic.
So you want something already down there to not increase or overload the digestive system with the acidity, which is harsh.
We all know.
You have a little bit of cough, you have an empty stomach, and you're jacked up for days.
Well, now the next six hours are running.
You've got to train in two hours.
So you start your day on the proper note.
Whether you go in an office, it doesn't matter.
Going to the office or going to the gym to train, it doesn't matter.
I've never done Xanax, but from what I understand, one of the problems with Xanax is although it alleviates anxiety, there's sort of a rubber band effect.
And after it wears off, you're more anxious than you were even before you took it.
So if you take 10 milligrams of Valium, your body only really uses 5. The only five, the other five go into your body and sit there.
So the next morning when you wake up and you blow those two hits to take a ride to fucking work, those two hits of that fucking number are stronger than what they usually are.
Because Valium sits in your fat and your body releases it as it needs it.
So it might need it to fall asleep, but then it holds on to the rest.
That's what I don't like about Valium.
You have that hangover the next day.
Any of those things are fucking horrible.
Ambion...
Terrible.
I mean, people buying cars, people cooking fucking meals and going shopping.
Who the fuck goes shopping and forgets they go shopping?
What I'm trying to say by saying that I'm happy is that I'm not saying I've always been happy.
I was very dark early in my life.
When I was young, when I was in my early 20s and my teens, I was not a happy person by any stretch of the imagination, not even remotely.
But I knew it was possible.
And because you manage your life the correct way, because you get to a situation where you have a lot of good fortune and you have a lot of good friends, literally your mental state becomes a happier mental state.
What people don't understand is a lot of the reason why you feel like shit is because your life fucking sucks.
And you're supposed to feel like shit to motivate you to get the fuck out of the life you're in.
Whether it's a relationship, whether it's a job, whatever the situation is that sucks.
Whatever the thing is inside you that's rotting you out from the inside.
Whether it's you wanted to do something else but you didn't have the balls to pursue it.
You wanted another girl but you couldn't keep her because you're a liar.
Whatever the fuck it is that eats at you, you gotta straighten that shit out or you will never be happy.
You can't just flood yourself with chemicals and trick your brains thinking that this reality is acceptable because that's not really what's going on.
What's going on is you know that you haven't done the best that you can do.
You make a positive choice, you make a negative choice.
The more positive you make, the more you're surrounded by positive.
And the more positive your situation is, your lifestyle, the people around you, and then the energy.
Now you're, like you, you're a happy guy because you're You're a positive guy.
You surround yourself with positive people.
You do positive things.
You move forward like that.
You, in a parallel universe, could be negative just because you woke up one day and you had cornflakes instead of your grain smoothie.
And then you kind of were with a bunch of people and they're smoking cigarettes in the car and they're listening to this song that you don't like and you're stuck in traffic and your day kind of goes shit even more.
And then there's no coffee at the coffee spot.
You don't have time to get there because you're late for the meeting.
Your day keeps spiraling farther and farther on that negative route and then it kind of keeps going that way.
And that's where a lot of people fall off track.
I deal with a lot of people that are unhappy because they're overweight, but why are they overweight?
They're overweight because they're unhappy, so they emotionally eat, or they know that they're not making good decisions, so they don't feel like they deserve good things, so they kind of inflict negative situations on themselves, eat bad things, smoke cigarettes, hang out with bad people, and they're kind of caught in that funk.
But it's easy to get out of that funk with a decision.
You know what?
I'm going to leave.
I'm going to walk out.
I'm going to go there.
I'm going to drink some water.
I'm going to step out in the sunshine.
I'm going to the gym and then call my mom just to say hello.
I'm going to give my wife a kiss or whatever the heck it is.
You start making those little positive decisions and boom.
The next thing you know, you're happy.
And every day you're more and more happy and you're successful.
Whether you're a writer or an entrepreneur or whatever the heck you are.
You do dishes.
You love what you do.
You're more successful.
And everything starts to grow and explode from there.
And it's so, what we were discussing before the show started, you said don't talk, was that people in America don't really fucking know where to get off that train.
They really don't.
And even if you stop the train and go get off, they're scared because they don't know.
You know, one night you go on the fucking road, and you go to this comedy club, and you're hungry, and you're on the road for eight fucking weeks straight.
I don't mean eight weeks fucking straight in those shit fucking clubs.
You know what I'm talking about?
And you go to eat dinner and they have french fries and a hamburger.
And now you can't sleep because you're from the fucking East Coast.
You're from the West Coast.
You're going into the East Coast.
You got the radio three fucking days.
So lack of sleep puts fucking weight on you.
And all of a sudden, next thing you know, you get your 20 pounds overweight, your 30 pounds overweight, and you're on the road.
And this happens.
I'm just describing how it happened to me.
And you don't know what's going on.
And even though you worked out all your life and you've walked, this weight is getting put on you.
Now you can't breathe in your fucking sleep.
Now you can't breathe in your sleep.
So I'm scared of fucking needles and doctors.
So you know what?
Maybe if I get a fucking heart attack, then I'll figure this out.
So until I get the heart attack, that's when I'll go in and take care of this fucking sleep apnea.
And finally you're not sleeping.
Finally you're falling asleep in fucking lights.
And you're 90 pounds heavier than when you moved to LA. Even though there's a fucking YMCA. Walking distance from your house.
And you walk past it and it's like the devil's house.
You even cross the fucking street.
You don't even walk on that fucking side of the street.
That's the fat train.
And the fat train, what people are describing now in America, obesity, was Obama's wife.
There's not a kid playing on a fucking street no more.
You mean out of all those fucking houses, there's not one parent that can go, listen, on Monday I'm going to come out and play stickball with these fat fucks who are on a computer with a knapsack with computers.
Where the fuck are these kids going?
They walk around with 80 pounds on their fucking back and they're 90 pounds overweight.
But with me, it started as an adult.
It didn't start as a six-year-old fucking kid.
It didn't start as a six-year-old fucking kid.
It started when I was 30 and I was already 10 years in the fucking bag of blow and drinking.
You know, you don't realize.
I don't want none at the comedy store to fucking...
I don't like alcohol.
I don't like the fucking taste of it.
If I'm doing blow, I'll drink sperm.
But if I'm fucking...
You know what I'm saying?
But if I'm fucking, I don't like the taste of alcohol.
When I see Joe drinking a beer, you don't think I want to grab a beer.
Mike Dolce, I do the worst thing in the world.
I get so bored and so embarrassed of being a mutt that all I do is smoke pot like a 13-year-old that sometimes give me a fucking cigarette because I got to feel like I'm doing something.
You know what the fucking bartender told me once at the comedy store?
That I drank 16 sodas while I was there one night.
No, I know this, but you know, when I want to lose weight, I was scared.
I didn't know how to start.
I asked a bunch of guys.
I knew if I went to Eddie and said, Eddie, I want to lose weight, he would have thrown me into the fucking spectrum of jiu-jitsu and I would have broke my fucking back.
Because I was 4'15", and I told you, the first time I got on the fucking treadmill, I could only do two minutes.
For the beginner, it's really to get people active to build that base.
A lot of times, like Joey's saying, people, they're out of shape for whatever reason.
They've been making a negative decision, now they make a positive decision.
They walk into the gym or they have a little treadmill at their house, whatever it is.
They start to exercise and they do it wrong because they follow what they see on TV or they follow what they saw in Self Magazine or whatever it is.
Sore as hell the next day.
They don't perform.
They look fat.
They feel fat.
Their clothes are too tight.
Screw this.
I'm out.
And that's like Joey's saying.
You walk in the gym and then you don't go back for a while.
The people make the bad decisions.
So what this beginner treadmill workout is, it's getting people on the treadmill.
It's getting them active.
It's getting their heart moving.
It's getting their blood flowing.
And it's a transition into something a little bit better.
Joey is a great example.
He started, his hardest pace was three miles an hour or so.
And then he would go down to one and he would walk.
Now, you know, a few weeks later, he's almost doubled that.
He's more than doubled that.
Made tremendous amount of progress in a short period of time.
Instead of just jumping in and doing, you know, four miles an hour is you're slow and then six or eight miles an hour is you're fast, which is what most other people do.
So it's, in the book, I kind of break it down.
I make it easy for people.
So you just kind of stare at it, you press the buttons and you move forward.
Did you find yourself in a situation when you were thinking about not doing it anymore, when you were wondering if you were doing it anymore, where you had one foot in and one foot out?
I mean, you could have distractions and hobbies and all that good stuff, but when you're training, it's an amazing amount of time these guys have to devote.
I don't think people realize it.
People just watch fights and don't dig into it and find out what a training schedule is like for these fucking kids.
It's the psychological impact of knowing six weeks from now, five weeks from now, four weeks from now, there's another bastard somewhere on this planet training and he's going to meet you at a certain point.
At a certain time, and your whole family's going to be there, and everyone you went to school with is going to be there.
There's an interesting turn that a fighter takes when they realize they're never going to be the best and they're just sort of doing it to fight.
They're just going to take fights.
It's a completely different turn.
They become a different fighter.
You can almost see their color change.
They go from being this streaking thing that's constantly improving to something that levels off and in fact usually dwindles a little bit.
Sometimes guys get a little bit better.
I mean, it varies on the athlete.
But there's young guys that come up and there's one beating or two beatings that they get somewhere along the line that make them realize, like, you're never going to beat this guy.
Jump it, because I don't want to leave you hanging.
Warm up, five minute walk, three miles an hour.
Round one.
30 second jog at five miles an hour.
Two minute walk at three miles an hour.
And you repeat that one, two, three, four rounds and the cooldown is a simple five minute walk at three miles an hour.
Anybody, everybody can do that or their own version of that.
So I'm a coach.
Here's the format.
I'm coaching you to do it.
Maybe you're at one mile an hour, you know, a 30 second jog and then a, you know, two mile an hour, 30 second jog and then one mile an hour, two minute walk.
Earth-grown nutrients is whole foods, but when you say whole foods, people picture a supermarket chain.
Whole Foods also sells conventional food, not just organic or earth-grown nutrients.
Earth-grown nutrients means this came from the earth, unadulterated by man.
I walked out my backyard, I pulled it out of the stream with my bare hands and pulled it out of the ground, and I didn't even plant the seeds, let's say.
It just naturally grew right there.
That's earth-grown.
The closer we can get to that, the better.
So what I try and do with my athletes or clients or anybody I deal with is I try and make suggestions and tips and then from my experience, try this instead of that.
You're going to use a high fructose corn syrup based ketchup when you can get this one right over here.
You can make your own with tomatoes and some vinegar and some salt and maybe a little bit of agave on your own stove.
It tastes exactly the same or the earth grown one tastes a heck of a lot better.
So that's the things that I try and do with the athletes.
You're just going to have the sauce, which is a red sauce, tomato-based peppers and onions and garlic and herbs and spices and all those good things thrown in there, too.
I would lean towards the Ezekiel because it's closer to the earth-grown nutrient category.
And it's higher in a variety of nutrients, where if you go just the straight durum wheat pasta, which is like a standard barilla pasta where you're getting any, you know, olive garden and whatnot, there's a high glycogen content.
So if your only goal is glycogen stores...
Then you can certainly get that from the pasta.
But if your goal is to get glycogen plus fiber, plus essential fats, plus vitamin B or whatever the heck else is in there, then you go to the Ezekiel and you keep getting closer back to the earth because there's more vital nutrients contained in that.
I'm not sure specifically on tomato, but things like spinach, most vegetables with an outer layer, you will unlock more nutrients when you actually heat that up, but not always because you still want to have them raw and fresh.
Because there's a ton of other vital nutrients in there.
Well, Joey, I mean, this is an uncomfortable moment here, but I got to confront you on this because what we got here is a guy who's like a nutritional expert.
I went down to 270 and my head was too fucking big.
I was going in to meet people and they thought I had cancer.
I swear to fucking God, dog.
That's why I went in and I started doing the upright rows to fill this in a little bit because it got so fucking skinny I thought I was going to put one of those voice machines.
That's what people were looking at me in auditions and meetings like I was going to put a voice machine in.
Well, I don't follow it 100%, but the majority of my diet is essentially most of what I try to eat is just salads and meat.
That's most of what I try to eat.
And then I'll throw in a little bit of pasta here and there every now and then.
Or if I'm on the road, I eat what I can to try to stay healthy.
Always supplement.
Supplement every day.
Constantly, a lot of fish oil, multivitamins, chelated minerals, the whole deal.
I take a gang of shit.
I drink kale shakes.
I try to drink them every day.
So that's the majority of what I do.
But I think what you were bringing up with Joey is a real good point.
A lot of people say, they're kind of dabbling in the idea of improving themselves.
And the real way to do it is you've got to write down what the fuck you want and then go after it.
Because otherwise you live in sort of a wishy-washy world.
You know, if you decide, I'm gonna get down to, bang, I'm gonna do this.
I'm gonna run a marathon in less than five hours.
I'm gonna, you know, whatever the fuck it is, you gotta write that shit down and go for it.
What I tell people is the best advice I've ever heard, the best advice I ever came up with, is that live your life like you're the hero in your movie.
And right now is when the fucking movie starts and your life is a shitbag disaster, like every fucking Arnold Schwarzenegger movie where he wakes up and makes a blender...
Full of pizza and ice cream.
You know what I mean?
Those guys were on the brink.
They put the gun in their mouth and they put it down because they see a photo of their daughter.
Pretend that's you.
Pretend you are right now.
You're in the part of the movie that starts and it shows you as a fucking loser.
And just decide not to be a loser anymore.
Live your life like there's a documentary crew following you around and you are analyzing your own behaviors.
Do what you would want to do so that your kids one day would look back at it and see that documentary and look on it with pride.
Like, wow, my dad was a bad motherfucker.
He really did what he had to do.
Wow, my mom really got her shit together.
I love a success story, but even more than a success story, I like a dude who fucks his life up and then gets it back together again story.
Those are my favorite stories.
And the way to do that, you gotta write shit down.
You gotta think that you are the hero in your own fucking movie, and then you gotta sit down, and you gotta write shit down.
All things that you find other people's success as a downfall in your own existence.
Instead of being inspired, instead of choosing to be positive, instead of improving constantly on the direction of trying to achieve whatever the fuck you have written down, you just sit around and spiral.
You know?
There's nothing more miserable than sitting around someone who's fucking complaining all the time.
It is one of the most annoying things ever.
Everybody hates it.
When someone just sits around and they complain about their life and they don't do jack shit about it.
And you tiptoe around it.
You don't know what to say.
Well, she gets upset when you bring that up.
I don't want to bring that up.
And you want to go, you fucking crazy bitch.
You know what's wrong with your life.
Stop announcing it to everybody else and go out and fix that shit.
That's the only good thing about, like, assholes on the internet.
Sometimes they say things that's right.
Sometimes cunts will say shitty things to you on the internet about a show you did or a thing you said or, you know, oh, the fucking joke you made on the podcast.
You're an asshole for even thinking like that.
And, you know, part of you is like, fuck you.
Who the fuck are you?
But you...
You feel bad if things are correct.
You feel bad if someone nails you.
If you didn't do anything wrong and someone acts like a cunt, they look like a crazy person.
You have to be able to have that honest assessment of yourself.
And the only way you can do that is you're taking account of yourself all day long.
You're taking account.
You're writing down what the fuck you need to do.
You're doing it.
You have a mindset that you want to maintain throughout the day.
Don't let the world maintain your mindset.
You choose what mindset that you are going to maintain.
And it's funny because now if you go to a Little League game or something like in the Little League, you're not even allowed to say nothing negative.
Like swing the ball.
You can't say nothing.
In today's society, the way they're bringing up these kids, if you go to a stadium now to watch a baseball game or a football game, it's a bunch of fucking people you can ranch dressing.
Except for the Dodger Stadium.
You've got to go there with fight gear on.
But fucking everywhere else it's pretty fucking decent.
Like nobody says nothing.
It's not like, hey you mother, when I was a kid and I'd go to Shea Stadium, Jesus fucking Christ, the Boston games in the 70s, they'd throw you off the fucking balcony.
Now we live in a society where you go to a game, people pay $300 for a ticket and they're well behaved.
In Jersey they were a little fucking crazy, but that was the craziest.
Somebody either had a heart attack on the side, At the fights, you mean?
They won and they went to every bar in a 50 mile radius with the Stanley Cup and had a drink.
And then I was thinking about it when I was a kid.
You know how people say to you now, oh, American football is weak.
Fucking rugby is the sport.
You know what?
I grew up, I played street hockey in Jersey in one of those leagues for three weeks, and that was one time where I actually doubted my manhood at the age of 13. I did that for three weeks because it's not hockey sticks and sneakers.
There's another value involved in this.
Cars!
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Cars!
And you don't get, you ain't real until you get hit by a car.
Listen, when you broke a Cadillac glass, not a windshield, because I'll understand what I'm saying, people.
When you dented a fucking Cadillac grill in the 70s...
You were going to a hospital.
That's an instant fucking who's my name, you know, squeezing the ball for the rest of your life.
They were different cars.
It's not like hitting the fucking Hyundai now where the thing bends a little bit.
We used to play street hockey with Tom McCann hockey sneakers.
Tom McCann, especially black bottoms so you would stick.
Dog, and they had these things where it was just you played for your neighborhood.
Like for your block, like 38th Street had a team against 51st Street, and you would walk over there with your hockey sticks, no roller skates, and it was in the street.
And if you were in the middle of a fucking roll and a car was coming, that motherfucker either had a weight or he was hitting you.
And somebody would get hit once a fucking month.
And that was like your badge of honor, like in those times, like he got hit by a car.
Dog, his head went through the side of a glass and he's coming back to play on Tuesday.
That was, this week in Jersey, you do not want to be in Jersey.
And they're playing L.A. So this week, like Wednesday night, you ain't getting a soul out.
You're going to sell out.
I'm going to sell out.
We're going to do fucking great.
But the rest of the city will be fucking dead because the Kings...
Yeah, the water is good, but you should boil that water because there's been a bunch of cases recently of people getting parasites in their fucking head.
The fucking water sometimes is stuff that gets killed by your stomach acids and there's no problem whatsoever for that, but it's not the same if it goes up your nose.
If it goes up your nose, it actually becomes, there's just people who have gotten infected.
Louisiana Department of Health and Hospitals issued a warning about improper neti pot use, which has been linked to two deadly infections.
A 51-year-old woman from DeSoto Parish and a 20-year-old man from St. Bernard Padish died after using neti pots containing tap water to flush out their sinuses.
Both became infected with, sweat this, Nagleria fowlerii, a parasite known as a brain-eating amoeba.
Jesus fucking Christ!
Brain-eating amoebas from your tap water that you get from fucking pouring water up your nose.
Water is poison.
Water is filled with poison aliens that want to eat your brain.
Wrap your fucking head around that.
I mean, that's essentially what you're dealing with.
You're dealing with a life force.
I mean, this isn't like, oh, you've got some birth control pills in your nose.
Is it healthy for all 120 years of your existence?
Maybe or maybe not.
Is it healthy if you're a combat athlete?
Maybe or maybe not.
Is it healthy...
Geographically, where you're located, do you have a full supply of all the nutrients necessary, the plant-based nutrients necessary?
Maybe or maybe not.
But veganism, as a philosophy or as a goal, I think is excellent.
Do we need meat proteins?
They certainly work very well, but...
You know, there are other options that should be considered and I think it's very unique to the individual in your moment, you know, in this space and time, maybe veganism is the right thing.
I like what I call vegan modified where we go through cycles.
I go through cycles.
I go like three days of vegan every three weeks or so or three months of vegan, you know, a year.
You know, I play with little things like that but also other ways, you know, hardcore meats, you know, now I'm getting a little away from red meats a little bit more lately so I'm kind of dabbling in other areas, more plant-based things.
When you talk to people about veganism, how do you set up to make sure that they get all the amino acids, all the nutrition, all the things just based on plants?
You have to be careful, right?
Absolutely.
People don't understand.
You can get protein from certain things, but it's not going to be a complete protein.
There's certain aspects of it that you're not going to get, that you would get from meat.
And by the word genetically modified, kind of explain to people, What most people don't understand is that there are certain plants that are genetically modified for various reasons.
Some of them are to avoid parasites.
Some of them are to not get killed by pesticides so they can spray pesticides over everything.
They tried to patent, literally, patent pig parts.
Because they're genetically modifying pigs.
They're trying to patent a pig that they genetically modify.
These are like some really unscrupulous, dangerous ideas.
Like, this is...
You're going to own life!
Like, what's next?
Are you going to take a person and modify just one little strand in that person's DNA and you made them from a zygote that someone had left behind in a fucking frozen lab when people take their embryos and they discard them?
Are you sure your frozen embryos are discarded?
What if someone comes along and adds a few fucking molecules to them?
Oh, it's not a person anymore.
It's a human fuckbag.
I just take it around with me.
It doesn't talk.
It can't go to work.
It just listens to me and I get to fuck it.
I mean, and it grows to full maturity in 24 months.
That's not outside the realm of possibility.
It sounds ridiculous.
I mean, it's obviously a joke, but if you can patent tomatoes, if you can patent, if you can own the design to something that all you did was alter, that's crazy.
That's ridiculous.
Really crazy.
And these politicians that have let this take place, you motherfuckers are guilty.
You're all guilty.
You're all cunts and crooks and you've fucked up the whole world because you started a chain of events.
And that chain of events, due to fucking greed, due to special interest groups, due to lobbyists, due to all those assholes that laced your fucking pockets and allowed you to allow people to do something you know is fucking evil and against nature.
You know it is.
They're gonna patent pigs.
Get the fuck out of here!
You crazy assholes.
You crazy, greedy cunts have set a chain of events in place that might take down the whole human race.
Congratulations.
Because the thing about people, man, when they start making money, when they start making money with something, whether it's from bombing people or poisoning people, or once you start making money at something, it's very hard to change the law.
Once you lived through his election, you really learned what an election was all about.
And you learned that, it's like when people look at a sporting event, they want to gamble and they look at the point spread.
That's the least of your fucking worries.
There's so many circumstances around that.
When you look at an election and see how somebody won, you know, when Clinton, they just involved in TV? Yeah.
That's it.
You've seen them.
They involved a generation that didn't think they had a vote and they just involved it and you see the little scams.
They sell the sizzle, not the steak.
And that's it.
And if you keep buying into the fucking sizzle, eventually one day, you know it doesn't take long after two elections when you're 30 and you've seen two or three elections to go, nothing has changed.
By the time you're 30, you should see this.
Nothing's really changed.
I'm going to go down there and drive old people to vote or whatever the fuck it is.
I'm still registered in my hometown in North Bergen, New Jersey.
I've had 19 fucking felonies and I still vote there on an absentee ballot because they don't give a fuck.
You've got to kill somebody in Jersey to stop voting.
Even then, you'll vote until your spirit's fucking voting.
Well, I think reality shows have really changed the culture significantly.
And most of us don't understand it or see it because, you know, we're out there in the world of stand-up comedy and the world of MMA. Two very, very real worlds.
But in here, in California, the reality is you can get famous for fucking nothing.
And if you do have a good concept, it's like...
I saw one where there was a guy who has a bunch of pretty girls who cut hair for him.
And he has a reality show.
It's a fucking haircut place and they wear bikinis and they cut hair.
And it's on HDNet.
I was like, Jesus Christ, you're just swinging at everything.
There's enough out there that all someone has to do is be semi-outrageous, and next thing you know, they're a professional personality.
And maybe that attention desire is unhealthy.
Maybe it's like Junie Browning, where it's coming from a place that's probably not that healthy.
Great TV. You know, like, the reason why Forrest and Stefan Bonner went at each other so hard, they just motherfuckers have been staring each other down for weeks.
I bet if you wanted to do something wacky, though, like read Satan's Bible, you know, read some fucking 666. Yeah, if you wanted to get crazy, you fucking wore eyeliner when you fought and shit.
I don't think they screen for EPO. What's EPO? EPO is a performance-enhancing drug that cyclists are very fond of because it increases the amount of red blood cells in your body.
Yeah, that only has the caffeine of a cup of coffee.
Five-hour energy is predominantly B12, one of the reasons why it works so well.
That's also what's also in that shroom tech sport, a shitload of fucking B12. And you'll be like, that shroom tech sport, you take four of those bitches and then you go work out an hour later, go work out?
Goddamn, man.
B12 is fucking incredible.
And cordyceps mushrooms, that's the mushroom that those people in high altitude take.
They started noticing their cattle were eating them and then being more active.
So people eventually start experimenting with them and taking them.
And it helps your body just produce more oxygen or absorb more oxygen.
Uh, The one from fucking Way from GNC. Eight ounces of milk, two ice cubes, boom.
Because it gets me going.
I can't leave the house without eating.
So I need some, my blood sugar goes down, I get dizzy and shit, right?
So then for lunch I had a little six ounce ribeye that I cut thin, I go to the butcher, and I fry it up with garlic, with a little bit of fucking spam, and that's it.
I'm like Joe Rogan.
I like fucking a good steak.
I can't eat...
A 22-ounce sirloin no more, like when I was 22 in northern New Jersey at the Berkshire Diner.
Well, I think right now, a lot of people are too, in this country, red meat dependent.
And their source of red meat is the wrong source.
They'll go to McDonald's.
That's red meat to them.
That's a burger that's good.
They'll go to Outback.
I don't know the quality per se, but I'm sure it's...
We're pretty confident it's not the highest quality, and they'll eat excessive amounts of that, 12-ounce, 16-ounce constantly, two meals a day, three meals a day, they'll have bacon, pork bacon at breakfast.
The calorie content at the end of the day is so much higher than some of the leaner meats, the poultry, the turkey, chicken, things like that.
So red meat, certainly, if that's part of your mindset, part of your culture, and you don't have any pre-existing medical conditions, you're not barred from eating red meat for whatever reason.
It's certainly fine.
It's fine to have in there.
But in moderation, I think everything in moderation, you should certainly rotate through the lean protein sources, the animal protein sources, just like you should through the plant-based sources.
I just replace the meat with extra lean turkey and just put a little bit of half of the packet of the seasoning on it and it tastes just like manwich, but it's extra lean turkey.
Now, when you see shit going down like this Alistair Overeem thing where they're checking him, you know, not even post-fight, but during training, you know, when they did the random drug test on everybody and Alistair, it turned out that he had taken some medication.
The story is that he had taken some medication and it inadvertently had testosterone in it and he wasn't aware he was going to get tested.
Unless there's some sort of agreement beforehand, like they're talking about out-of-season blood testing.
Whatever.
If that's the agreement, that's what the athlete's competing under, that's fine.
But I think the surprise drug test at the press conference, they're setting guys up to pinch them.
Now, should these guys be taking things?
It's a whole other conversation, and without knowing specifics, it's not my place to talk about it.
But I think it's really politics.
It probably comes down to dollars, or it comes down to ego, and it comes down to some sort of power struggle instead of truly trying to clean up the sport.
I don't think that's the way to clean up the sport.
I think that's the way to kind of, you know, Further agendas, and I don't think that agenda is helpful.
They had congressional hearings on people taking chemicals that aren't illegal.
They aren't legal.
In order to get better at playing baseball.
A ball with a stick.
And Congress is getting involved.
By the way, while two wars are going on.
The thing that they come down on the hardest is his example that he sets for the young kids who look up to him because he's doing America's favorite pastime.
And because it's America's favorite pastime, there's congressional hearings on it as opposed to cycling.
There's way more evidence of widespread abuse of cyclists I don't know.
Because there was some article in a magazine, it was like, the troubles behind him, Lance Armstrong looks for him.
I'm like, what are you talking about, the troubles behind him?
The enhancement is not just the enhancement inside when you test clean.
So if you go to a fight, you test clean.
It doesn't mean you've been cleaning your whole camp.
It means you cleaned yourself up the last few days or whatever the fuck it is you took, as long as you're not taking oil-based things.
You can take testosterone up until like...
A certain amount of time before the fight and still test normal and the problem with that is that you have been able to train harder than the other guy because you have been unnaturally elevated in your testosterone levels so you've been able to do two and three workouts a day and that's what there's a bunch of guys that are saying that one of the issues with training with so many guys getting injured is that a lot of the guys who are getting injured are not using And that these are the reasons why they're getting injured is because they're keeping up with guys who are using,
and they're trying to keep the same pace as guys who are using, and their body is fucking breaking down.
Because the shit that they're dealing with, when you're dealing with a guy that is training three times a day, and each session is at least an hour to two hours long, and they're intense sessions.
And they're doing it for six to eight weeks.
There is a lot of tissue breakdown and a lot of that tissue has to be built back up.
You know, that's also a problem with this performance-enhancing drug argument about testosterone replacement therapy.
Because if you catch me when I've been up all night and I haven't gotten any sleep and I've been working out two to three times a day and you go in and you get your testosterone test, guess what, fuckface?
It's going to be really low.
You know why it's really low?
Because your body's broken down.
So if you, and then you supplement the testosterone, well that is unnatural.
And you also have to realize that some guys are coming into camp where there's not like one standard level of fitness that guys are coming into camp with.
Some guys come into camp and these are like Herschel Walker type dudes that are in shape all year round, never get fat, never get out of shape, always disciplined, always training.
So they have a much thicker base When they get in, their cardiovascular base is healthier, their muscle endurance base is healthier, everything is healthier.
So they don't have to worry about overtraining as much.
They can keep a pace that the other guy can't.
But if those other guys try to keep up with that dude, that's when shit goes bad.
I see the argument that you shouldn't be allowed to be on steroids while you're fighting, but you shouldn't be allowed to train on them either.
If you're going to make them illegal, they've got to be illegal to train with too, because otherwise we have an unrealistic bar.
I'm not saying that performance-enhancing hormonal supplements shouldn't be legal, because I think they probably should.
They should just be closely monitored, and you've got to decide How do you want to regulate this?
Because eventually we're going to come up with things that are better than this and it's going to go by the wayside.
Science is not going to stop at testosterone replacement or hormonal replacement or bioidentic hormones.
They're going to have genetic engineering.
It's coming.
You're going to be able to literally manipulate your DNA. It's unquestionable, whether it's 100 years from now, or whether it's 50 years from now, or 20 years from now.
I don't know when it's going to take place, but there's going to be something that comes along, make no mistake about it, that makes steroids obsolete.
So then the argument is going to be, do we just say, fuck science?
Do we say, fuck progress?
Do we say that, or do we decide that, well, you know what?
If you want to compete as an athlete, you can't take the stuff that your fucking neighbor, the postman is taking, and the guy can jump over buildings.
Your neighbor can fly through the air like the Hulk, but you can't take that if you want to compete in kickboxing.
And he would fucking just pop them in the fucking ass and that's it.
And I knew for a fact, I ran with, you know, I was in Jersey in the early 80s when B-12, I was going to ask you if you ever shot it, my boys were shooting that shit.
And I used to drive my buddy to a house where they were guys and they would blast them with the B-12, the Deca de Roblin, you know in those days it was Deca, D-ball, Anivar, Winstroll.
It was very basic.
Five or six of them.
And he would get the B12 and he would go, Coco, as soon as they shoot you, you could taste it in your fucking mouth.
Yeah, well, then there's the Rory McDonalds, these guys who have trained in MMA since they were boys, and they don't have a base in wrestling.
They're MMA fighters from the jump.
And when you're fully dedicated and involved, like a guy like Rory is, and you're talented, and you're 21, and you're doing all the right things, and you're disciplined, and you're focused, and you're keeping your eyes on your pride, you can...
You know, I do the pay-per-views in the Fox, and then John Annex and Kenny Florian do the other ones, and then I think Bonner's going to do more of them, and Frank Mir, I think, is going to do Strikeforce, I've heard.
Well, that's one of the reasons why I wanted to see Alistair fight him, man.
I think if anybody...
Look, Alistair is, in my opinion, the most technical striker in the fucking heavyweight division, period.
Alistair's a beast, man.
The way he throws leg kicks, his technique is perfect.
He's strong as fuck.
He's big.
And at heavyweight, he's been massively successful.
Once he put all that weight on, he changed his focus and his training methods and concentrated a lot on physical strength.
The technique has always been there.
He concentrated a lot on his endurance and really worked hard.
It's unfortunate that that fight didn't take place.
It's unfortunate that if Alistair's telling the truth and that's exactly what happened, a doctor fucked him.
A doctor shot him up with something.
He added some inflammation and some problems, and a doctor gave him some anti-inflammatories mixed with testosterone, which you know, as well as anybody, will help you heal, but you're not supposed to be doing that, right?
I mean, that's the idea, but you're not supposed to be taking that ever if you're a professional fighter, right?
That's the idea behind it.
It's not like you can take...
Like, what happens if a professional fighter says, I'm going to take a year off to deal with an injury?
I got a torn knee ligament or something like that.
Now, as far as diet goes, now if you see a high glycemic index diet, if you ate a lot of really sugary things, doesn't that cause your insulin to spike and it causes you to fatigue quicker?
You know, that is one of the reasons why music is so much different than comedy.
Because in comedy, if a guy can pull off a jam, if a guy can pull off a hit, if a guy gets on stage and he's got a bit that knocks your fucking socks off, that guy can keep coming up with bits like that.
That's how that motherfucker thinks.
But not music, man.
They can nail one song, and then the rest can be just dog shit!
You know, well, I just learned this about Sledgeline and then you sit down and you're at a computer and you make yourself laugh and giggle and then you write down anything that comes in your head throughout the day and then our practice is in front of an audience.
So our practice is, which by the way, tomorrow night, laugh fact, where am I? Ice House.
Where the fuck are we going?
Tomorrow night we're doing another Death Squad show here at the Ice House.
Joey, the reason why I confronted you and the reason why I talked about it earlier and when I keep getting on to the point of you having a goal is because I know you've done it before.
I was really proud of you when you quit smoking and I was really proud of you when you lost all that weight.
Pretty impressive for a guy who, in my life, you've been a real impulsive, sort of wild dude.
Because you're knocking me out of That's part of my fucking week.
That's part of my fucking week.
Ten years ago, if I went to a restaurant, I thought that was healthy.
Mike, before the book, you don't know how nice it is in the morning to make one egg and know you're not eating home fries and a bunch of disgusting butter from a fucking diner.
I grew up in Jersey eating the fucking diners, brother.
So when I'm in Jersey with Johnny Hendricks on this last Fox card, I'm home.
Every single day, I had Jersey fries, disco fries, which is French fries, brown gravy, melted mozzarella, baked in the oven every day, and pork roll and cheese.
You know what I mean?
So there's my earned meals because I've been grinding for so long.
I'm going home, I'm going to New Jersey, I'm eating like a crazy motherfucker.
And I use the term earned meals because cheating has a negative connotation.
I'm going to earn this.
I'm going to earn this.
And I plan.
Man, seven weeks from now, I'll be back in Jersey.
We're going to the pizza place.
You know what I mean?
Work out hard.
I'm going to run farther.
I'm going to eat better.
I'm going to do more things so I can have the investment in myself where I can go out there and do a little bit more and feel good and have that emotional purge also.
All right, so please support Mike Dolce and go get that book, you dirty bitches.
And thank you, everybody.
Thanks to The Fleshlight.
Thank you to Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, makers of Alpha Brain, Shroom Tech Sport, Shroom Tech Immune, and New Mood, and hemp protein powder is coming soon, and you're going to love it.
It's the best tasting shit of all time.
We'll see you tomorrow with the great Bobcat Goldweight.