April 3, 2012 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:28:42
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Oh, sweet Jesus! | ||
| Is this real? | ||
| Is this really happening? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by The Fleshlight. | ||
| Go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link for The Fleshlight, enter in the code name ROGAN. Is that me? | ||
| You will get 15% off. | ||
| There's like some sort of 15% off sale that's going on right now. | ||
| So I don't know if it gives you 30% off. | ||
| I doubt that. | ||
| I don't think that works that way. | ||
| I think you're only allowed to use one coupon. | ||
| I want people to go broke. | ||
| It's a solid product, folks. | ||
| Go get one. | ||
| You know you're going to masturbate. | ||
| This is better. | ||
| Holla. | ||
| And then you can save a little money too. | ||
| But it's a solid product. | ||
| And the company, they're good people. | ||
| We're also brought to you by Onnit.com. | ||
| O-N-N-I-T. Makers of Alpha Brain. | ||
| I'm going to give Everlast of Alpha Brain later today. | ||
| Show them what the fuck is up. | ||
| He might blow up. | ||
| It might change this whole attitude about life. | ||
| We also make New Mood, which is a 5-HTP and L-tryptophan serotonin-boosting supplement. | ||
| It's good stuff for you. | ||
| All healthy stuff. | ||
| All of it is, if you don't know what nootropics are, please Google the subject. | ||
| It's a fascinating subject. | ||
| Don't just go out and buy some alpha brain. | ||
| Look at all the pros and cons. | ||
| There's not too many cons, but we address all of it at Onnit.com. | ||
| There's a whole page dedicated to the research behind all of the nootropics. | ||
| We also have, for the first order when you buy things, it's a 100% money-back guarantee. | ||
| You don't have to return anything. | ||
| No one's trying to rip you off. | ||
| This is all stuff that I use. | ||
| This is all stuff that I used before I was selling it. | ||
| I'm a firm believer in vitamins and nutrition and health. | ||
| It's very important. | ||
| It's boring as fuck, man. | ||
| I don't want to eat kale shakes in the morning. | ||
| I'd rather have some leftover spare ribs or a protein shake with something delicious, but... | ||
| I do. | ||
| And I do take vitamins and I do feel a difference. | ||
| I've gone. | ||
| I've experimented. | ||
| I've tried no vitamins, eat like shit. | ||
| This is not good. | ||
| There's a big difference between how your body performs and how your mind performs. | ||
| For me, that's the big one. | ||
| And this is where nootropics come in. | ||
| Nootropics are really all about... | ||
| Enhancing cognitive function. | ||
| There's a bunch of other companies that do nootropics besides us. | ||
| It's not that ours are better than anybody else's. | ||
| Ours is very complete and very balanced and very complex, and some of them aren't as complex, but there's a lot of great ones out there. | ||
| So Google it. | ||
| Check it out. | ||
| Remember, first order. | ||
| If you're not into it, 30% off. | ||
| Or rather, the first 30 pills, rather. | ||
| You get 100% off. | ||
| You don't even have to send it in. | ||
| Just tell us it sucks. | ||
| And we'll say sorry. | ||
| All right? | ||
| No one's trying to rip you off. | ||
| Check out. | ||
| There's... | ||
| There's also Shroom Tech Sport and Shroom Tech Immune, two different mushroom-based supplements that do different things. | ||
| Shroom Tech Sport is great for endurance and it's great for energy. | ||
| It's really a crazy drug that was actually discovered by people who live in high altitudes. | ||
| It's this crazy mushroom, this cordyceps mushroom and a bunch of other things that are in there as well to enhance energy and endurance. | ||
| Gives you a little boost. | ||
| It's got a lot of B12 in it as well. | ||
| And that's it. | ||
| So go check that shit out. | ||
| And soon, kettlebells. | ||
| Kettlebells are almost here within a couple of weeks. | ||
| They're awesome looking. | ||
| Dude, I can't tell. | ||
| Don't say anything about that one yet. | ||
| No. | ||
| But the regular ones, we're going to have the cheap, we're going to have, not cheap, high quality, best quality available, but they're going to be inexpensive. | ||
| We're trying to make kettlebells as cheap as possible, but the best quality possible and only sell it on the internet. | ||
| Let me see if you can work out a deal with shipping. | ||
| I think we can... | ||
| Make them very reasonable. | ||
| Because I think everybody's trying to make money. | ||
| You should make them smell like blueberries or something great. | ||
| If they're working out, it smells like vanilla. | ||
| That doesn't help dudes, bro. | ||
| That only helps you. | ||
| That would help you sit down and just start smelling, oh, it's working out, but it smells like vanilla. | ||
| Come here. | ||
| You'd call your girlfriend, honey, come here. | ||
| It smells like vanilla. | ||
| I'm sure it's relaxing, though. | ||
| Isn't that a real thing? | ||
| Yeah, but I don't think you want to be relaxing while you're fucking throwing some kettlebells around, son. | ||
| You might let one go and throw it through a fucking wall or something. | ||
|
unidentified
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Start a goddamn electrical fire! | |
| Be careful. | ||
| Kettlebells, be very careful. | ||
| You gotta know what the fuck you're doing. | ||
| Start light. | ||
| They're tough to do. | ||
| 135 pounder. | ||
| I'm a manly man, okay? | ||
| And 135 pounder is a fucking serious workout. | ||
| There's a lot of them. | ||
| There's an extreme kettlebell cardio workout that this guy put out. | ||
| I forget who it is. | ||
| He sells a video on dragondoor.com. | ||
| It's a great workout video. | ||
| And this fucking guy does it all with 135 pound kettlebell. | ||
| And you're dying by the end of it, man. | ||
| It's brutality. | ||
| So that's the next level. | ||
| Alright, bitches. | ||
| Everlast is here. | ||
|
unidentified
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What up, man? | |
| He's gonna play some music. | ||
| We're gonna have some fun. | ||
|
unidentified
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Experience. | |
| Train by day. | ||
| Joe Rogan podcast by night. | ||
| All day. | ||
| Change the... | ||
|
unidentified
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What happened? | |
| What was all that speed thing? | ||
| I was playing around. | ||
|
unidentified
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What were you experimenting with, you fucking freak? | |
| One of my good friends in the music business, one of the coolest motherfuckers I know, and one of the dudes that, you know, when I think about, like, wow, I'm friends with Everlast, it might not be a big deal to you because you're Everlast, but when I was a fan of House of Pain, you know, when I first moved to California, you know, to me, it's just cool as fuck to just sit here and kick it with you. | ||
| You know how we doing, man. | ||
| I appreciate that, man. | ||
| Yo, I gotta also say, man, last time I came on here, we joked around about my Twitter. | ||
| There was like 6,000 people on it, man. | ||
| There's like 16,000 now, and I swear to God, at least 9 of those 10,000 came straight from this show. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| Well, they didn't know. | ||
| It's OG Everlast, folks, if those of you are looking for them, because I'm sure there's a lot of fake Everlast fans. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| There must be. | ||
| There's a whole bunch. | ||
| It's hard finding someone on Twitter that's correct. | ||
| It's a real person. | ||
| I actually got one of those little check marks recently. | ||
| I'm me. | ||
| I'm actually me now. | ||
| Those are tricky. | ||
| You've got to get those. | ||
| The most positive bunch of people I've ever seen from the Joe Rogan podcast. | ||
| Dude, it's crazy, isn't it? | ||
|
unidentified
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I was waiting for some... | |
| I was like, you know, I was inevitably someone that's going to come. | ||
| It wasn't none of that. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| They're amazingly nice. | ||
| It's the craziest group of people. | ||
| You know, I had a guy come up to me at this show this weekend, and the dude was actually crying. | ||
| He had, like, tears in his eyes. | ||
| And he said that one of our podcasts where me and Brian Cowan were talking about what's wrong with you when you're a hater and what it's really all about. | ||
| It's really all about just being dissatisfied with yourself. | ||
| And then you look at someone and you try to chop them down or you try to attack their weaknesses or find their flaws. | ||
| But really what most of that comes from is a feeling of unease about your own life. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| It's all of it. | ||
| And this guy said that it changed his life. | ||
| He said he literally stopped behaving that way. | ||
| He goes, I realized what I was doing. | ||
| He goes, I realized what I was doing right there. | ||
| He goes, I was just an asshole. | ||
| I didn't even know why I was an asshole. | ||
| I couldn't help being an asshole. | ||
| He goes, but just spelling that out, that it was really all just me being frustrated about myself. | ||
| He goes, I couldn't see that without you pointing it out. | ||
| But now I see it so clear, it's changed my life. | ||
| He's like, it just opened a door that I can never shut again. | ||
| And then he kissed you. | ||
| He gave me a little tongue. | ||
| Reached in, a little reach. | ||
| People don't realize your brain is extremely kind. | ||
| If there's something that's bothering it, it'll tuck it behind anything it can and just tell you to ignore it. | ||
| And sometimes it's easy to just move in a chair out the way and be like, homie, look. | ||
| That's why you're upset. | ||
| Daddy did you wrong. | ||
| Almost always, right? | ||
| The mind is incredibly complex, and none of us have a guidebook for it. | ||
| That's a real problem. | ||
| Nobody really, you know, you could join a religion, or you could join a, you know, a cult, or maybe, you know, become a monk or something, and they give you some guidelines, and you could do it their way. | ||
| But that might not be the way. | ||
| The way is your way. | ||
| It could be different than my way. | ||
| There's a lot of goddamn ways. | ||
| There's a lot of ways. | ||
| But there's principles that you need to get through, like truth and honesty and kindness. | ||
| They sound weak. | ||
| We talked about this last time, that it takes a lot of strength to be a loving person, to just be open and loving. | ||
| You've got to expose yourself. | ||
| And it sounds... | ||
| The insecure people don't want to think like that. | ||
| They want to think there's something wrong with it. | ||
| Why are you fucking queer? | ||
| What are you talking love? | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| You don't want more love in your life? | ||
| Everybody should want more love. | ||
| It doesn't mean you're weak. | ||
| It doesn't mean you're whack. | ||
| That person, usually more than anybody else, wants love in their life. | ||
| Almost always. | ||
| They don't know that everybody can see it. | ||
| Because I've been that dude. | ||
| I've been that angry dude and didn't know that everybody could see. | ||
| Like, what the fuck is wrong with you, man? | ||
| Why are you so tightly wound? | ||
| Why are you looking to smack people? | ||
| What the fuck is that all about? | ||
| Well, it's always some shit that has almost nothing to do with what's going on right in front of you. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, shit, I'm 42, man, and I probably only figured it out nine months ago. | ||
| I think I figured it out last week. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I think it comes and goes. | ||
| I think that any real feeling of figuring anything out to me is always, like, real fleeting, and I never feel confident enough to even say I have it figured out, ever. | ||
| You know, it's always, to me, it's always just... | ||
| I'm just trying to keep my fucking head above water like everybody else. | ||
| Just trying to maintain, be nice, enjoy. | ||
| There's no mastery of this fucking thing. | ||
| This is a ride. | ||
| We're on top of a fucking seven mile high wave, man. | ||
| Just because the boat is turning the correct direction doesn't mean we have any control of this fuck. | ||
| No control of this crazy life. | ||
| Absolutely not. | ||
| You just got to enjoy, try to ride that wave as best you can and try to do the best you can to enhance yourself. | ||
| Enhance your environment. | ||
| Enhance your friendships, you know? | ||
| Right? | ||
| That sounds like a goddamn Everlast song! | ||
| You know, I'm gonna make you cry today, man. | ||
| I bet you will. | ||
| You were making me cry when you were warming up, man. | ||
| I had to go out and take a shit. | ||
| I was like, I'm gonna have to drop some weight in here. | ||
| This is too good. | ||
| What do you got for us, man? | ||
| You want me to just get down? | ||
| Whatever you want to do. | ||
| Are we ready? | ||
| Dude, we have one of my favorite artists and a guitar in the room, man. | ||
| Get down, get down. | ||
| We can always talk. | ||
| It'll be fun, you know. | ||
| It'll be fun, you know. | ||
| It's all been done. | ||
| The war is over. | ||
| Battles won. | ||
| Sour grapes. | ||
| Sweet revenge. | ||
| Heaven starts right where hell ends. | ||
| She was young. | ||
| Seventeen. | ||
| She felt so soft. | ||
| She smelled so clean. | ||
| Her aim was true. | ||
| Her heart was pure. | ||
| To the day that her daddy walked out the door. | ||
| She's looking for a man and so much more But her Uncle Sam sent him off to war Little Miss America In all of your glory She loved the paparazzi She's trying to sell her story She's gonna write a movie She wanna be a star It's | ||
| been 18 months since I've seen home. | ||
| I get a purple heart, get a GI loan. | ||
| They say, God bless us every child with his own. | ||
|
unidentified
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But we're all gonna die in the dark alone. | |
| Little Miss America, and now to your glory, she lies with paparazzi. | ||
| She's trying to sell her story She's gonna write a movie She won't be a star Little Miss America Where did you get that scar? | ||
| Back at home, it's kinda strange. | ||
| Ain't nothing happening, ain't nothing changed. | ||
| Same old rules, same old game. | ||
| And still I'm haunted by the names of all the friends left behind. | ||
| They weigh so heavy on my mind. | ||
| At night I miss going out on patrol. | ||
| The desert wind turned my warm heart cold. | ||
| Little Miss America, now to your glory. | ||
|
unidentified
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She's like the paparazzi, yeah. | |
| She's trying to sell her story. | ||
| She's gonna write a movie. | ||
| She won't be your star. | ||
| Little Miss America, where did you get that scar? | ||
| Where did you get that scar? - Ah! | ||
| Where did you get that scar? | ||
| Where did you get that scar? | ||
|
unidentified
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That was heavy, dude. | |
| That was heavy. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| That was great. | ||
| That's heavy. | ||
| Wrote that when I went over to play for the boys in Iraq. | ||
| That must have been a trip. | ||
| I haven't been over there, but I've hung out with a lot of those guys on the bases when we do UFC shows, military shows. | ||
| Man. | ||
| It's a fucking tough life, man. | ||
| It's a different breed of folk, man. | ||
| God bless them, and we wouldn't exist without them. | ||
| Yeah, we wouldn't exist without them. | ||
| I just don't like the people that are putting them in places that I don't think they should think. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Well, I mean, I was brought over there, and I had just released an album that was vehemently making statements against the administration and the war. | ||
| But when I was invited over there... | ||
| They didn't ask me about anything. | ||
| Where I look at it is, most of these cats was trying to get some college money. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| I believe in something, too. | ||
| Well, that's what it used to be. | ||
| That's when Pat Tillman signed up. | ||
| That's what he did. | ||
| He left the NFL. He was like, you know what? | ||
| I believe in this. | ||
| This is real. | ||
| Our country's being attacked. | ||
| Then when he got over there, he was one of the biggest critics of the war ever. | ||
| Once he got over there, him and his brother, his brother doesn't even believe it was friendly fire. | ||
| You know, his brother thinks they had him killed. | ||
| I believe. | ||
| I mean, they covered up this whole story about friendly fire. | ||
| They pretended that he died in war. | ||
| By the time he was over there, he realized what a clusterfuck it was. | ||
| The whole thing is a mess, man. | ||
| The people behind it, though, the people that were willing to sign up and be heroes and really go and fight the enemy in their mind, that's an incredibly brave thing. | ||
| Yeah, man, that's... | ||
| Which is the most fucked up thing about it is the idea that brave people get manipulated. | ||
| In the name of money. | ||
| What was shocking to me was how young these cats were and how much responsibility they carried on their shoulders. | ||
| And I thought about myself at 22 or 24. This guy's running a squad of tanks. | ||
| And I was probably passed out drunk in a bar or something. | ||
| Yeah, no shit. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So it was like, you know, it was just give and do. | ||
| I went out there, and they were, I mean, it was like the most appreciative. | ||
| Like, they thank you so much just for going. | ||
| And it's just bananas. | ||
| I was like, I was privileged to go, and I'd go back in a heartbeat. | ||
| It's just so scary to be over there. | ||
| It's so scary to be in such a fucked up place in the world. | ||
| It's, you know, most people that live in this side live in nice cities, drive nice cars, you know, exist in a peaceful state of harmony. | ||
| We're barely even aware. | ||
| That there's some people that are mostly financially unfortunate at this point. | ||
| Mostly just not a lot of fucking opportunities where they live at this point. | ||
| And they're getting shipped off to some crazy country on the other side of the world that's just filled with death and despair. | ||
| Like, most people don't even know. | ||
| Like, you know, this guy that snapped recently and killed those people in Afghanistan, you know that story? | ||
| Yeah, he did like three tours. | ||
| He did a gang of tours. | ||
| Not only that, he thought he was going to get off combat duty. | ||
| They were dangling it over his head. | ||
| He was losing his house back home, and I'm not making any excuses for this guy, but the day of, he watched one of his friends get his legs blown off. | ||
| And then I guess he just snapped. | ||
| He doesn't even remember it. | ||
| He says he doesn't remember it. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| They manipulate the fuck out of these people, man. | ||
| I know a dude who had only 20 days left on a 20-year bid with the Army Reserve. | ||
| And then with 20 days left, he was going to retire. | ||
| They sent him to Iraq for a year and a half. | ||
| They can just do that. | ||
| They send them back again, too. | ||
| Once they send you once, they can send you again. | ||
| You literally work for them forever. | ||
| You cannot quit. | ||
| There is no time. | ||
| They forever have an option. | ||
| That's insanity. | ||
| An option. | ||
| The fact that we allow that, man, that's really fucked up. | ||
| That's a trap. | ||
| I'll tell you like this. | ||
| I'm honestly, you know, and if I was young, I'd still be saying this. | ||
| I ain't saying it because I'm past whatever age. | ||
| But I think, To a certain degree, it should be. | ||
| You turn 18, you want to have certain privileges in this country, you should go do your two-year service. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Change a lot of shit, I'll tell you that. | ||
| Yeah, because every senator's kid would be in there. | ||
| Every governor and president's kid would have to do it. | ||
| But that'll never happen. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| You know, I think in principle... | ||
| And we'd have a standing army at all times of what? | ||
| 15 million people? | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| More than that, wouldn't it? | ||
| How many young people do we have? | ||
| What do we have now? | ||
| I bet it's probably 15 million now. | ||
| How many people are in the army? | ||
| Seven. | ||
| Number of US military... | ||
| How many times have you been over there? | ||
| A once. | ||
| But I'll go back any day. | ||
| Now you, like me, have a daughter. | ||
| That's when you see dudes who have daughters over there and you think about you being over there. | ||
|
unidentified
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I believe my wife was pregnant when I went. | |
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what's weird, Joe? | ||
| I was listening to some old Howard Stearns. | ||
| I don't know if you've been listening to the Kinnison shit. | ||
| And somebody said something on the Howard Stearns show and he was like, is that true? | ||
| But he didn't have a computer to go. | ||
| How many people in the military? | ||
| So I was just thinking, how weird is that? | ||
| Howard had no idea. | ||
| There was no way for him to check that at all. | ||
| So he just pretty much was like, alright, I guess I have to believe this. | ||
| Yeah, you could talk all kinds of crazy shit back then. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's good shit, though. | ||
| All week he's having Sam Kinison on. | ||
| Yeah, I listened to it today. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| From 1988. It's weird. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's when I first started doing comedy. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| And because of Sam Kinison, too, this is the first dude that I ever heard that I was like, well, that's comedy, too? | ||
| Yeah, that was crazy. | ||
| I remember when the first time I saw him, it was a shock. | ||
| It was like, wow, that's new. | ||
| Yeah, that dude changed the whole game. | ||
| He changed comedy, man. | ||
| He went hard on the religious stuff at the time when that was... | ||
| And he got away with it, too, because he was a former priest. | ||
| Yeah, he was a preacher that turned the other way. | ||
| It was, like, crazy. | ||
| He was classic. | ||
| Does he have daughters, right? | ||
| Or does he have any daughters? | ||
| Yeah, well, he has them with his friend's wife. | ||
| Do you know that whole story? | ||
| No, I don't think so. | ||
| You know that whole story? | ||
| He had a good... | ||
| Fuck, I'm blanking on the dude's name now. | ||
| The dude with the shaved head. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Don Barris. | ||
| Oh, shut up, Brian. | ||
| No. | ||
| Fuck, I can't believe him. | ||
| Carl LeBeau. | ||
| Carl LeBeau was his buddy and his road partner. | ||
| He opened for Kinnison on the road. | ||
| And apparently, Kinnison was banging his wife. | ||
| And he didn't even know about it. | ||
| And he had a kid with this chick. | ||
| And he thought it was his kid. | ||
| It's Kinnison's kid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| So the whole time he's been raising this kid thinking it was his, it was his best friend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| His best friend, what a shithead. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Banging his friend's wife. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Not only that, without a condom, you fucking dirty bitch. | ||
| He was crazy. | ||
| You know, they said with Kinnison, it was a head injury that changed his whole life. | ||
| He was a kid. | ||
| He got hit by a truck. | ||
| Said, completely changed his personality. | ||
| Like, completely. | ||
| Became a totally different person. | ||
| Became reckless and crazy and loud and wild. | ||
| Before that, he was like a regular, calm, sort of a peaceful kid. | ||
| Maybe he didn't see another side and just realized or decided he was going ham. | ||
| Could be, right? | ||
| Yeah, he crossed over for a second. | ||
| Or I think it's just head injuries in general are fucking really bad for you. | ||
| Getting your head fucked up is not good. | ||
| For some people, it changes their personality. | ||
| I've heard of dudes that became depressed. | ||
| They got just knocked out once and then they started getting bad depression all the time. | ||
| They had a really hard time being happy. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Just one concussion. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Golf ball to the head. | ||
| I know a dude who was fucked up by a golf ball to the head. | ||
| Except for six months. | ||
| He was just a mess. | ||
| Six months, man. | ||
| That's crazy, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, and that's another thing that's going on with these soldiers. | ||
| You know, the UFC has done a few of these fight for the troops for traumatic brain injury. | ||
| I remember I did one of those little PSAs for it. | ||
| Yeah, that's some shit that's happening now. | ||
| Before it closed, I actually did a visit at Walter Reed where they have all the cats who got hit with the IUDs. | ||
| That will change your perspective because there's dudes there with literally half a body and talking like, I wish I could go back because I got homies there and I need... | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Kid got two artificial legs talking about he's getting ready to join the DEA. Wow. | ||
| Some crazy shit don't make your problems seem real, real small. | ||
| I think that sense of camaraderie that a lot of those guys have with each other too, it hits a crazy level. | ||
| It hits a level that the average person, a civilian, is probably never going to experience. | ||
| Well, the level of panic and fear and emotion in a moment of death, and then you're sharing it, so whatever secret you got is going to come to the surface. | ||
| Not necessarily like you're going to yell out your secrets, I'm saying, but if you're a guy who's going to cry while you're fighting or whatever, all that's coming out. | ||
| You know, you're going to bond over that kind of shit, I would imagine. | ||
| That's why fight camps are always so close to, you know, like an MMA fight camp. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Or martial arts schools. | ||
| All that shit. | ||
| You experience something really scary together. | ||
| You know, it's not as scary as war, but anything bonding. | ||
| What's the old saying? | ||
| There's no atheists in foxholes, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Indeed, indeed. | ||
| So what else you got for us, man? | ||
| Hey, somebody put a request in that I agree with 100%. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| I'd love your fucking cover of Folsom Prison Brews. | ||
| I'll get there. | ||
| It won't have the lead, like, do-do-do-do-do-do, because I only got one guitar. | ||
| Brian can do it with his mouth. | ||
| We're kind of talking about a subject. | ||
| Brian's got a guitar here. | ||
| I got a great guitar. | ||
| I'm going to do this one. | ||
| This one's called Could you imagine it? | ||
| Some of us pray Okay Some of us pray Some of us sin | ||
| Some of us just don't know where to begin Guilty hearted pleasures Got you taking some unorthodox measures Can't help but lose even if you win Some of us pray | ||
| some of us sin Some of us live, all of us die Some of us just laugh at the others who cry Broken hearted sorrow Got you thinking like there ain't no morrow Some of us can't look each other in the eye Some | ||
| of us live, all of us die Some of us give, some of us take Some of us just lie in the beds that we make Heart's all torn and busted Double thanking everybody you trusted You can't always fix everything you break Some | ||
| of us give, some of us take Some of us pray, some of us sin And most of us just don't know where to begin. | ||
| Guilty hearted pleasures Got you thinking some unorthodox measures Can't help but lose even if you win Some of us pray, some of us sin Some of us pray, some of us sin. | ||
| Some of us pray, some of us sin Wow First time I've ever done that one live Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yup Hold on, let me turn that on Okay Am I back? | |
| There we go. | ||
| That's the first time you've ever done that live? | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow, that's awesome. | ||
| I'm honored. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| That's badass. | ||
| I love that song. | ||
| Do you sometimes forget the lyrics or the thing, and you have to kind of make shit up on the fly? | ||
| Like, oh, I just fucked up a Corsair. | ||
| I would kind of bring it back. | ||
| Occasionally, which, you know, I was taught by some cats that showed me along the way, if you mess up on the guitar, you know, do it again. | ||
| Oh, just like go... | ||
| Do it again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Make it look like you meant to do it kind of thing, you know what I mean? | ||
| Or just own it. | ||
| Just own it and keep it moving, you know? | ||
| I'll be honest. | ||
| If I ever mess up terribly, I'll stop. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I've done this show. | ||
| Hold up, man. | ||
| That sucks right there. | ||
| I just really chopped that to hell. | ||
| So we're going to start over and make it right. | ||
| Is there a time limit? | ||
| If it's like 30 seconds left in the song, you're obviously... | ||
| Then you're probably not going to do that. | ||
| It would have to be something that disturbed my groove enough where I couldn't stop thinking about it. | ||
| Which after 20 some odd years, it would take a pretty big bump in the road. | ||
| You've been on the road like crazy lately, right? | ||
| You've been just doing... | ||
| Yeah, I'm on a new... | ||
| I love playing music, man. | ||
| We've been doing a combo with live band stuff. | ||
| And like I said, I just did a run of acoustic shows and I really enjoyed it. | ||
| When you do acoustic, just you and the guitar, that's it? | ||
| Sometimes I'll have another guitar guy sitting with me to cover like lead parts for the, you know, certain songs and a little counter, you know, picking while I'm strumming kind of things just to add to the song a little bit. | ||
| I was just in Louisville when we were there. | ||
| The University of Kentucky is playing the University of Louisville in a basketball game. | ||
| It's like the worst day ever. | ||
| They hate each other, apparently. | ||
| They have like a state civil war going on. | ||
| And so, dude, you got to look at these pictures, man. | ||
| Pull this shit up because it's ridiculous. | ||
| These dumb motherfuckers, they got all their photos. | ||
| These kids rioted. | ||
| Kentucky wins, but students lose in basketball riot photos. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's on Wired.com. | ||
| Kentucky wins, but students lose in basketball riot photos. | ||
| You gotta see this shit. | ||
| These stupid motherfuckers. | ||
| All their pictures are all on the internet. | ||
| They don't know anymore. | ||
| This is not the same world, bitch. | ||
| It's not the 70s. | ||
| Yeah, you can't just riot. | ||
| I can reflect on like, man, I used to love shows like Deadwood. | ||
| And I'd be like, man, if I lived in the 18-somethings, man, I would have been shooting a motherfucking cat, dog. | ||
| I would have shot a dude. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| What you gonna do? | ||
| Who's catching me? | ||
| You better be a good shot. | ||
| Look at this girl. | ||
| She pulls her top up and all these dudes are groping her and shit and she's screaming. | ||
| They are wild in Kentucky, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That is a different breed of human. | ||
| That's not Kentucky, though, man. | ||
| That's the university. | ||
| That's America, homies. | ||
| And those aren't white hands. | ||
| That's America, dog. | ||
| Those are mostly black hands on that white girl's titties. | ||
| And she's a redhead. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Brian's upset. | ||
| Hits a little too close to home. | ||
| Done it, dog. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| This guy's got blood all over him. | ||
| He broke his hands open trying to smash a windshield with his fucking fists. | ||
| He's bleeding off of his hands. | ||
| And they got a close-up of this dickhead's face. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| You dummies are going to do time. | ||
| You stupid fucks. | ||
| Lighting cars on fire. | ||
| You cunts. | ||
| How come you can't just celebrate, you shitheads? | ||
| You know what's funny? | ||
| See that crowd photo right there? | ||
| Somewhere in there is a kid that in 20 years is going to be running for Senate. | ||
| And this picture's gonna come up. | ||
| He was there when they rioted. | ||
| And he's also listening to us right now. | ||
| It's that little fucker right there. | ||
| Yeah, he looks kind of like... | ||
| He's the one. | ||
| He looks like a young newt. | ||
| A young Sid Torum. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| You playing a commercial? | ||
| No, I just want to talk about the style and performance of a brand new Hyundai. | ||
| Is that a Hyundai? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Hyundais look like Mercedes-Benz now. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| You see that thing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That new Hyundai? | ||
| Yeah, these stupid fucking kids, man. | ||
| This shit annoys the fuck out of me because everybody knew it was going to happen. | ||
| They all knew it. | ||
| Was it crazy there? | ||
| Kentucky Gentleman in his hand. | ||
| That's what he's drinking. | ||
| Was it crazy? | ||
| Was it your audiences psycho? | ||
| Couldn't be better. | ||
| Couldn't have been better audiences on earth. | ||
| It was impossible. | ||
| Duncan got a round of applause and a standing ovation. | ||
| Not just a round of applause, a standing ovation. | ||
| Every show, going on stage. | ||
| Going on stage, he was getting standing ovations. | ||
| They couldn't have been nicer, friendlier, more fun. | ||
| Louisville was the shit. | ||
| It's a fun place. | ||
| That's the beautiful thing about clubs like the improv, like high-end clubs, is they develop people that are fans of comedy, too. | ||
| There's not a lot of places in the country where you can guarantee you're going to see national-level comedians, but all the improvs, all big-name comics are going to come through. | ||
| They couldn't have been any better, man. | ||
| That place was amazing. | ||
| Louisville's the shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, man. | |
| I gotta get to a show. | ||
| I haven't been to one in a minute, man. | ||
| Next time you're in my neck of the woods down south. | ||
| I'm about to lay down a video. | ||
| I say lay down because I'm talking to a musician. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Lay down. | |
| You're dropping some beats over there, Joe. | ||
| When I'm talking to musicians, man, I like to use their language. | ||
| You gonna lay down that video? | ||
| I like that, though, man. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Lay that bitch down. | ||
| Lay down some comedy on that bitch. | ||
| I'm going to put it on VHS, Joe. | ||
| No, beta, bro. | ||
| I'm sticking with beta. | ||
| So are you going to go that you do? | ||
| I mean, are you already going the route the same one as the recently Louis C.K. guy just threw it up? | ||
| Yeah, no, his idea. | ||
| I totally stole it. | ||
| I didn't have that idea first. | ||
| Yeah, I was trying to get it. | ||
| He didn't have it first either. | ||
| Radiohead did it on music. | ||
| So it's kind of the same principle, I think. | ||
| Yeah, he's the first guy to deal with comedy. | ||
| And now everybody's going to do it that way. | ||
| Comedy Central. | ||
| Yeah, but your folks, man. | ||
| I'm going to tell you something about your folks, man. | ||
| Your folks love you. | ||
| I love them, too. | ||
| I mean, that's why. | ||
| I don't want to say that's why. | ||
| I don't really know why. | ||
| So, I mean, that's a lot of folks that's going to be hollering at the website, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what, dude? | ||
| I really firmly believe that when you put positive energy out there, you attract like-minded people. | ||
| You're going to get a few cunts in the mix. | ||
| It's inevitable. | ||
| Especially on the internet. | ||
| Especially in text form. | ||
| Like when dudes get to tweet shitty things to people. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Or message boards or something like that. | ||
| My thing is, do you really think that stopped my day? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you think that slowed me down in my R8? Yeah. | ||
| It's real simple, man. | ||
| Don't ever say anything to anybody that you wouldn't say to their face. | ||
| Just don't do it. | ||
| And if you do say it, say it as if you would say it to their face. | ||
| Otherwise, you're a cunt. | ||
| It's that simple. | ||
| If I say something, I'm going to say it to your face. | ||
| I got a bunch of negative tweets the other night. | ||
| Some dude in front of the Country Music Awards. | ||
| Homeboy's standing there with fake rips in his jeans, like he bought jeans that were already pre-ripped, and he's standing in front of a jet. | ||
| And I don't know if the song was any good, because quite honestly, I said the song was... | ||
| I said, here's... | ||
| I go, this is country. | ||
| A dude's wearing fake ripped jeans standing in front of a jet singing a shitty song. | ||
| And then the hashtag was, that ain't country. | ||
| But silly jeans, you're a silly bitch. | ||
| You're a silly bitch if you're wearing fucking fake ripped jeans. | ||
| Period. | ||
| It's 2012. Have you ever had fake ripped jeans, though? | ||
| I might have. | ||
| I might have, yeah. | ||
| I might have bought some, yeah. | ||
| Did you ever used to bleach your jeans in the basement where you poured actual real bleach on your jeans in the 80s? | ||
| No, I didn't, but I definitely have owned a pair of jeans with rips in them. | ||
| They might have been given to me for wardrobe on Fear Factor, but I had them and I wore them. | ||
| But I'm old enough now to realize that's ridiculous. | ||
| It is kind of ridiculous. | ||
| It's very Nickelback, by the way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's easy to buy them by mistake nowadays because now they have jeans that just look like they're fucked up a little, but then you wash them once and they become ripped jeans. | ||
| You know, like where the clothing is very thin. | ||
| Yeah, but you can buy it by mistake going, wow, those jeans look cool. | ||
| And the next thing you know, you have some ripped jeans and you're at the rainbow. | ||
| Yeah, but this dude had like dark jeans. | ||
| I wear crispy brand new 501s if I wear jeans. | ||
| That's my new thing, man. | ||
| I just got them. | ||
| I love them. | ||
| I'm talking about crispy. | ||
| I don't even wash them. | ||
| These have not been washed. | ||
| I'm on like cardboard, man. | ||
| No, I'm serious. | ||
| That's how I wear them. | ||
| and then I throw them away. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's Bala. | |
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That's what Charlie Murphy does every time he does a comedy show. | ||
| I live at Sergeant Supply. | ||
| Sergeant Supply. | ||
| Yeah, over there in Burbank, man. | ||
| Yeah, really? | ||
| Yeah, that place rules. | ||
| Get them 501s all day long, man. | ||
| You just get a new pair every week. | ||
| On the road, I throw like 14 pairs of them in. | ||
| They'll last like three shows. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| You could probably sell those. | ||
| Like on the bus and stuff, I wear gym shorts and just kind of lounge around. | ||
| But do you actually throw them out or do you give them to like Goodwill or something? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I just kind of usually leave them in a hotel. | |
| I really want to... | ||
| Usually on tour, I sweat so much in those things. | ||
| I don't have time to wash them. | ||
| I'm not trying to give them the goodwill just loaded with my DNA. I bet there's some people out there that would buy it. | ||
| I'll just start tweeting hotel rooms across the country. | ||
| I'm leaving some jeans here. | ||
| Ate Taco Bell earlier. | ||
| Might smell great. | ||
| This is going to be dudes who are going to be jerking off, sniffing your crotch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll never throw another waiver. | |
| Ah! | ||
| Man, 501. One for the stinky in my pinky. | ||
| Okay, what? | ||
| I think you need to play a song just to cure us of what he just said. | ||
| By the way, that surplus store is really awesome. | ||
| I go there to buy, like, fucking gas masks and crazy shit all the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I live there. | |
| But then I feel like people actually wore these and dyed in them. | ||
| I wear, like, military pants and jeans is what I wear. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, that's my wardrobe, man. | ||
| Those are the best. | ||
| And pro club t-shirts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| I fit so much shit, I don't need to carry around my fanny pack. | ||
| I got a fanny pack. | ||
| People think I'm bullshitting. | ||
| Catch me at the airport. | ||
| Ready? | ||
| Sweat my fanny pack. | ||
| Oh yeah, here we go. | ||
| I hear that train coming, coming around the bend. | ||
| And I ain't seen the sunshine since I don't know when. | ||
| And I'm stuck in fulsome prison. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not a man. | |
| See, it happened right there. | ||
| Your live witness. | ||
| I hit the wrong chord and I'm not gonna live with that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| I'm gonna take that one more time. | ||
| Oh, from the top? | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| I hear that chain coming, coming around the bend And I ain't seen the sunshine since I don't know when. | ||
| And I'm stuck in for some prison. | ||
| Time keeps dragging on. | ||
| And that train just keeps rolling down to San Antonio. | ||
| When I was just a baby, my mom told me, son, always be good boy, never play with guns. | ||
| But I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. | ||
| When I hear that whistle, Lord, hang my head and cry. | ||
| Good Lord, I just hang my head and I cry Friedrich, Froachsieden I just hang my head and I cry Friedrich, Froachsieden | ||
| In the best dining hall Proudly drinkin' whiskey and smokin' big cigar. | ||
| Well I knew I had it comin'. | ||
| Knew I can't be free. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But those people keep movin'. | |
| And that's what torture me. | ||
| Would it freed me from this prison? | ||
| That railroad train was mine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Probably moved it just a little far down at life. | |
| Barton Wilson Prison is where I long to stay. | ||
| And I let that lonesome whistle Blow all my blues away Yeah - Damn, that's good. | ||
| It's so awesome. | ||
| That's a beautiful cover, man. | ||
| God damn. | ||
| What a fucking song that is. | ||
| Yeah, I remember when I wrote it, man. | ||
| It was real hot. | ||
| Back in the day in another life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like 59. I'm so stoned watching this. | |
| It's almost too much. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, it freaks me out a little. | ||
| Being able to just see this so close to me. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's weird. | |
| Yeah, this would be the dopest intimate concert of all time. | ||
| My dog's named Johnny Cash. | ||
| Is that right? | ||
| I'm a huge Johnny Cash fan. | ||
| I had a Rottweiler named Elvis. | ||
| I had a Pitbull named Frank Sinatra. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| That was before I really got to know Frank Sinatra's personality. | ||
| Still, it's Frank though, man. | ||
| But, to your frank, I'll raise you a Tony. | ||
| Tony Bennett. | ||
| I had a cat named Skittles. | ||
| Skittles. | ||
| I had a cat named Jack Dempsey. | ||
| Did a Mexican dude in Florida shoot him? | ||
| I had a cat named Jack Dempsey. | ||
| That shit ain't right. | ||
| I just gotta say, man. | ||
| And a dog. | ||
| I don't care what the kid did. | ||
| You can see they're saying, I'm going there. | ||
| Is that alright? | ||
| Okay, go ahead. | ||
| Can I go there on this Trayvon Martin thing? | ||
| My take on it? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, please. | ||
| My take on it? | ||
| No matter what the kid did, there's two kinds of 17. There's LeBron James 17 that looks like a 36-year-old man. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then there's child 17. Right. | ||
| And I haven't seen one picture of this kid that isn't a child 17. It's true. | ||
| And this dude outweighed him by 100 pounds. | ||
| Did he? | ||
| 100 pounds? | ||
| You seen the size of the dude? | ||
| And the pictures from what I'm seeing, I'm guessing on that one, on the weight, okay? | ||
| Outweighed him significantly. | ||
| Regardless of that, most he's in danger of is, what, a broken jaw? | ||
| Maybe a black eye? | ||
| His story, and I don't know what happened. | ||
| I'm just saying, grown man against a kid. | ||
| I'm talking about me against a 17-year-old kid. | ||
| There's no kid on earth that looks like that in the eyes. | ||
| Like a baby. | ||
| Like a child. | ||
| Not like a grown man dude who's been through the grind. | ||
| It's gonna put me on my back and kill me. | ||
| Yeah, but that's you. | ||
| This guy might have been kind of a bitch. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| This guy was rejected. | ||
| He tried to be a cop. | ||
| He tried to be a cop. | ||
| And as far as I'm concerned, the one that stood his ground that night is the one that's dead. | ||
| Maybe, but maybe not. | ||
| You know, his story is that the kid came back and attacked him. | ||
| And he actually has... | ||
| Supposedly, ABC News was reporting yesterday that they've enhanced the video. | ||
| And they found cuts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I saw that. | |
| Cuts on the back of his head... | ||
| I'm saying a couple cuts on the back of your head. | ||
| I just don't see it as worth killing somebody. | ||
| I agree with you, but his story is the kid was trying to get his gun. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yo, police told you not to follow, dude. | ||
| Police told you stay out of it. | ||
| This is a man who thought he was an authority figure and was itching to use his gun. | ||
| That's the bottom line. | ||
| That is true. | ||
| And I'll leave it at that. | ||
| That is true. | ||
| But he did, apparently, according to the 911 call... | ||
| They told him to turn around, and he did turn around, and his story is that's when the kid jumped him. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck is true. | ||
| I don't know what he could have said to the kid to piss him off like that if he did. | ||
| You know, I definitely agree. | ||
| The dude was into being an authority figure. | ||
| The dude was itching to use his gun, man. | ||
| But it also could have been that, you know, they were in a life-and-death struggle. | ||
| I wasn't there, man. | ||
| I'd agree that it sounds weak. | ||
| If it was a life-and-death struggle, though, Joe, grant me this. | ||
| The only reason it was is because one of them brought a gun, and it wasn't the kid. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Now, had there not been a gun there, the worst that could have probably happened in this situation was one of the others got their ass kicked. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| If there hadn't been a gun. | ||
| If there was no gun at the scene. | ||
| Right, but his deal is that he's trying to be like neighborhood patrolman. | ||
| With a gun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it would be great if somebody was actually a bad guy. | ||
| You have a gun, you want to shoot somebody. | ||
| That's what you need when there's bad people out there. | ||
| This kid was not what he was looking for, obviously. | ||
| I'm saying. | ||
| But hold on a second. | ||
| Do you know that in that neighborhood, a man is in critical condition right now. | ||
| A 50-year-old guy who got beat almost to death with hammers. | ||
| And two 18-year-old kids were arrested. | ||
| They robbed him, and they beat the fuck out of this guy with hammers. | ||
| So it's not like there's not bad people in the world that you could use a gun with. | ||
| There was no gun there. | ||
| There wouldn't be a dead person there. | ||
| That is true, but that is this scenario. | ||
| There could have been an easily a scenario. | ||
| This is a very bad area where these people are living in. | ||
| There's a lot of breaking entries. | ||
| There's a lot of robbery. | ||
| You're right, which is why in the correct... | ||
| I'm just saying, I see a baby when I look at that kid. | ||
| I see a baby, man. | ||
| I do as well, but it's just that kid. | ||
| That's a terrible situation. | ||
| A real motherfucker could sense evil. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, the kind of evil that would beat a man to death with hammers. | ||
| You could sense that, Joe. | ||
| You could feel that in the air. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| But again, if you go to his story, I don't know what the fuck happened, bro. | ||
| But his story is that the kid jumped him. | ||
| That's his story. | ||
| If that's the case... | ||
| I ain't heard him tell his story yet. | ||
| Yeah, well, it's been out there. | ||
| But I ain't heard him tell his story. | ||
| With his words. | ||
| Yeah, I ain't heard him tell his story. | ||
| I haven't heard anybody else either. | ||
| If he sat here in front of me and told his story and I looked in his eyes and I believed him, that's a different thing. | ||
| Right, but do you understand that no one's talked. | ||
| No one's talked. | ||
| We're getting all Nancy Grace information. | ||
| I'm just saying, I see a little baby. | ||
| I'm not even talking about race. | ||
| Race, nothing else aside. | ||
| I'm saying, had a man that was itching, not itching to be a badass with a gun, not brought a gun to a situation that didn't need it anyways, there wouldn't be a dead person. | ||
| That's wrongful death. | ||
| That's murder, man. | ||
| If you had some big John McCarthy type cop out there, nothing would have ever happened. | ||
| He would have said to the kid, how you doing tonight? | ||
| And the kid would have said, I'm all good. | ||
| And they would have said... | ||
| Have a good night, be careful, and that would have been the end of it. | ||
| A lot of it is people that are looking for trouble, and a lot of the reason why they're looking for trouble is because they're insecure. | ||
| It easily could have been what this guy's deal is. | ||
| I don't know the dude. | ||
| I'm just saying, I see a baby dead. | ||
| It is a baby dead. | ||
| That bothers me. | ||
| That bothers the fuck out of me, too. | ||
| I'll be honest, if those pictures had looked like he was a hood, I would probably feel a lot different. | ||
| I'd probably be like, oh man, looks like he's kind of a hood. | ||
| But it just looks like a kind of kid to me. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| It is true. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You don't bring a gun against a kid, man. | |
| I don't think he thought he was going to run into kids, though. | ||
| He was hoping to run into a situation where he could pull out his gun. | ||
|
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|
Maybe. | |
| You might be right. | ||
| Why else would you carry it if you're not a police officer? | ||
| Your average real, normal personality of a human being, police officer, probably does not like the fact at all that they have a gun all the time. | ||
| I would disagree with that heavily. | ||
| I have a lot of friends that are cops. | ||
| I have a lot of friends that are cops. | ||
| They don't want to pull that gun out. | ||
| That's for goddamn sure. | ||
| That's what I mean. | ||
| I mean in a sense that the thought of using it is actually very foreboding and not something interesting at all. | ||
| I have friends that have shot people before and you talk to them about it and it's not a pleasant memory. | ||
| It's not a good thing. | ||
| That's the thing on your belt. | ||
| The last thing you ever really want to have to reach for. | ||
| I had a conversation with a dude just a couple weeks after he had to shoot a dude, and he was just starting to get back in the swing of things in his head, just dealing with the fact. | ||
| He's like, I'm happy I did it. | ||
| He goes, I was a piece of shit, but let me tell you, it's a fucking tricky thing, taking a man's life. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| I would like to hear the dude tell his story. | ||
| I think Hayden is doing more harm than good. | ||
| The real issue, though, is the legal issue. | ||
| This guy, if he is innocent, if you are innocent, you really should shut the fuck up until your lawyers get your... | ||
| Get everything in the proper order. | ||
| There's too many channels right now for prosecutors to go after people that aren't necessarily guilty. | ||
| And there's a lot of people behind bars right now that if they had better representation, if they didn't open their fucking mouth. | ||
| I'm not saying in this guy's case, but if the guy is innocent, he really probably should shut the fuck up until he actually goes to trial or talks to the... | ||
| But him going on Larry King. | ||
| Does Larry King do anything anymore? | ||
| No. | ||
| Him going on Pierce Morgan. | ||
| His brother was on Pierce Morgan, though. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I missed that. | ||
| Yeah, his brother was on. | ||
| Well, I didn't mean to go there, but I just... | ||
| No, look, man, you went there because it's a part of our culture. | ||
| It's one of them things that just kind of bugs me, you know what I mean? | ||
| It's like, I need to, you know... | ||
| You know what bugs me, too? | ||
| I just feel like I said, there's two different 17-year-olds, and, you know, if you, Mr. Neighborhood Watch... | ||
| You're supposed to be looking out for your community. | ||
| How do you know that wasn't a person from your community? | ||
| You must not have approached them in a manner that was like, excuse me, sir, or excuse me, what's going on? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| There must have been some real rude shit. | ||
| And if you didn't bring a gun, nobody would be dead. | ||
| That is true. | ||
| That's my biggest point. | ||
| If the dude that wasn't itching to use his weapon didn't bring a weapon, there probably wouldn't be even anything except a kid that got scraped up in a scuffle or a man that got scraped up in a That is true in this situation, you know? | ||
| Well, that's the situation I'm talking about, Joe. | ||
| But that's not necessarily what this guy was looking for when he's armed doing his neighborhood watch. | ||
| He's looking for people like these two kids. | ||
| One of them's 18, 5'8", and he was wearing a blue denim shirt, and he beat a fucking 50-year-old man with a hammer. | ||
| You know, that guy's fucked up. | ||
| That guy is severely fucked up and will probably never be the same human being again. | ||
| He might die. | ||
| I wonder if he dies, they'll pay as much attention as this kid that got shot. | ||
| Because it's kind of fascinating, man. | ||
| You know, there's a lot of people that are real squeamish about talking about black kids doing something violent to white people. | ||
| I ain't got no problem with it. | ||
| This ain't about race to me. | ||
| I know you don't. | ||
| I know you don't. | ||
| Like I said, I admitted openly, if he looked a lot more hood, I probably would mentally feel different about it. | ||
| That's just natural of where your mind works. | ||
| I'm talking about our culture. | ||
| I'm not necessarily talking about you. | ||
| I think in our culture, it's interesting. | ||
| But we all have a little bit of that regardless. | ||
| All of us, on every side, everywhere. | ||
| But we're also looking to catch people in a gotcha moment of racism. | ||
| We love that. | ||
| We would love to find someone who, especially, a safe situation like that. | ||
| And to be honest, the real problem isn't even Mr. Zimmerman. | ||
| The real problem is this law called the stand your ground law that says if me and you were in a place basically and nobody else is around And I say you attack me and make it look that way you could you I can easily kill you and get away with it Well, and there's just two people man. | ||
| It's fucking hard to figure out what the hell happened exactly You know, there's a lot of crazy fuckers out there that can just tell lies lies, man. | ||
| You know, there's a lot of people out there that are completely sociopathic. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| So if you give them opportunity to use their gun in a situation that's like a lot of people could start disappearing or falling victim to, you know, self-defense. | ||
| I wonder if people would, like, actually move to Florida just so they could shoot people Just start some arguments. | ||
| I wouldn't doubt it, man. | ||
| I wouldn't doubt it. | ||
| I wouldn't doubt it either, man. | ||
| Florida is one of the weirdest fucking places in the country. | ||
| It really does feel like you're in another place. | ||
| I'm there in two weeks. | ||
| I'm doing improv in Lauderdale. | ||
| I like going down there. | ||
| They know how to party. | ||
| They're a lot of fun people. | ||
| But it really feels like you're on an island somewhere in another country. | ||
| It's subject to U.S. rules, but no one's really watching. | ||
| Yeah, it's kind of like the wild, you know, still the 80s down there in a weird way. | ||
| Yeah, in a lot of ways. | ||
| Yeah, Florida's strange. | ||
| The whole place is built on cocaine money, man. | ||
| Literally. | ||
| Like, literally. | ||
|
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|
There's that whole, like, you've seen the cocaine cowboys, like, things, right? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, downtown Miami's, like, literally built with kilos of cocaine. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| They just poured it into the cement. | ||
| Yeah, it's amazing. | ||
| It's so ridiculous. | ||
| There's more banks per capita apparently in Miami than anywhere. | ||
| It's all just money laundering, going down left and right. | ||
| If you haven't seen Cocaine Cowboys, folks, we've talked about it before. | ||
| You must. | ||
| You must. | ||
| And you must see its sequel. | ||
|
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|
Cocaine Cowboys 2 hustling with the grandmother or the godmother. | |
| The godmother, yeah. | ||
| The godmother who's alive. | ||
| This bitch has killed who knows how many fucking people. | ||
| And she's just chilling in Bogota. | ||
|
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|
You were saying in jail she made like 500 mil a year. | |
| In jail. | ||
| And she was such a badass bitch, they didn't even try to kill her. | ||
| A woman! | ||
| And they just let her run shit. | ||
| Oh my god, that's a crazy documentary. | ||
| Yeah, I think Miami's the closest to a foreign country we have in America. | ||
| Outside of Puerto Rico, which is technically sort of America, right? | ||
| Isn't, is that still, aren't they debating that recently? | ||
| Like whether they want to become a state finally or not? | ||
| Come on, just be a state. | ||
| What do you give a fuck? | ||
| But it's cool that, you know. | ||
| It fucks up all the flags though, man. | ||
| Everybody's got to get a new flag. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, right? | ||
| People might harbor some resentment over that. | ||
| Where would we put that extra star? | ||
| Where the fuck is that gonna go? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's gonna take some sort of mathematical seamstress type to figure out. | ||
| This is weird shit like Hawaii. | ||
| Five hours in a fucking plane over the ocean. | ||
| And yet it's still America. | ||
| Alaska. | ||
| I had some Alaskans come to the last show and they were telling me, like, how do I tip you? | ||
| After I got off stage, I'm like, what are you talking about? | ||
| He goes, well, I want to tip you. | ||
| And I'm like, no, you don't tip. | ||
| He's like, oh, this is my first comedy show and it's the most insane thing I've ever seen in my life and it's, I want to tip you. | ||
| I'm like, no, don't tip me. | ||
| What the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| But it was so weird talking that he seemed like he was from a different country. | ||
| Like he was talking all this other things like about... | ||
| Well, essentially they are. | ||
| I mean, it really is. | ||
| It's not attached. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, this is my joke. | ||
| If it's not attached, it's just some shit we stole. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That is what it is. | ||
| Or bought. | ||
| Yeah, whatever. | ||
| Same difference. | ||
| Would you ever go to... | ||
| Bought from somebody who stole it. | ||
| Give them some fucking whiskey. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And they... | |
| Took Manhattan for like seven bucks. | ||
| Would you ever go to Alaska to do comedy? | ||
| Oh yeah, fuck yeah. | ||
| Is there people there for that? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Douglas Stanhope used to go there all the time, but they just got to be too stupid for him. | ||
| He bailed after a while. | ||
| He couldn't take it anymore. | ||
| They get pretty nutty up there from what I hear, man. | ||
| Hell yeah, they do. | ||
| Six months of daylight, six months of night. | ||
| Yeah, and there's bears everywhere. | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| You live in a nutty place. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| You live in a place where humans aren't necessarily supposed to be. | ||
| It's fucking freezing for a good chunk of the year, like death freezing, like Antarctic-style freezing. | ||
| I couldn't do it. | ||
| Yeah, that's hard. | ||
| You ever see that movie, 30 Days of Night? | ||
| Is it a vampire movie? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Pretty good vampire movie, man. | ||
| And the vampires go to Alaska because they could just fuck people up for a whole month. | ||
| Yeah, they don't get it. | ||
| Because it doesn't get light out for a month. | ||
| That's got to be depressing as shit. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, you think Seattle is depressing? | ||
| I remember the first time I went to Copenhagen, and we landed, and we went to this place. | ||
| We had heard of this legendary place called Christiania. | ||
| I don't know if you're familiar. | ||
| It's like a place that squatters took over, apparently, and they were legally... | ||
| It's basically a little section in the middle of the city where they can slang hash and weed, and they just... | ||
| The government kind of looks the other way. | ||
| They're squatters. | ||
| But every once in a while, the government goes in there and, like, tries to raid it, and they fight them off. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| This little section is called Christiania. | ||
| How big is it? | ||
| It's tiny. | ||
| It's like six blocks of land. | ||
| So it's just six blocks? | ||
| But it's only within a gate, and it looks like a hippie community. | ||
| It looks like little gardens and this and that. | ||
| But then you walk down this row, and they've got all these sheds set up, and there's lying in weed there. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Good weed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, like, I remember we got something real good. | ||
| We went back to the hotel and smoked up. | ||
| And it was about 7 in the evening and the sun was still out. | ||
| So, bang. | ||
| We smoked weed. | ||
| This weed knocked me out. | ||
| I fell out. | ||
| I wake up. | ||
| I look at my watch. | ||
| It says 3. I look outside. | ||
| It's... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Light. | |
| I was like, man, that shit knocked me out from 7 last night to 3 the next afternoon. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| So I go downstairs and I'm talking to the lady about something at the desk. | ||
| And I'm like, yeah, where's a good place to eat? | ||
| She's like, sir, it's 3 in the morning. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's like, it's not 3 in the afternoon. | |
| But that's ridiculous. | ||
| That blew my mind. | ||
| It short-circuited me. | ||
| That was one day. | ||
| Right? | ||
| It screwed me up where I went up to the room and my brain was having a hard time processing the thought of the sun being out bright as hell at 3 in the morning. | ||
| How long is it bright for? | ||
| It goes down apparently for like an hour. | ||
| Like between 12 and 1 every night it kind of goes down and it doesn't ever go all the way down. | ||
| It's kind of dusk and then it comes back up. | ||
| They must be so happy. | ||
| At certain times of the year. | ||
| This is like summertime. | ||
| And I bet the winners, I don't know if it's different. | ||
| I don't know if they suffer the opposite of that. | ||
| But it was like, it's short-circuited to me. | ||
| So my point is, like, six months of something like that would probably fry your board, man. | ||
| I'm pretty sure they do in Alaska. | ||
| I'm pretty sure in Alaska there's moments where they have, like, almost perpetual sunlight. | ||
| I think they just have, like, an hour where it goes down for a little bit and comes back up. | ||
| I think that's the case up there, too. | ||
| Copenhagen's pretty far up there, man. | ||
| That's weird that they would just decide to not have things open at 3 in the morning when it's bright out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just stay open, bitch. | |
| Come on. | ||
| What the fuck are you doing? | ||
| Hire somebody. | ||
| Or if you had a business, do it. | ||
| That could be your option to do it. | ||
| Yeah, the reason why shit is closed is because you can't see outside without lights on. | ||
| That's why shit's closed. | ||
| Okay, now that you can see outside with lights on, keep shit open. | ||
| What the fuck are you doing, man? | ||
| What, do you need to sleep or something? | ||
| Yeah, what, do you hate money? | ||
| You hate money? | ||
| You need to sleep? | ||
| What is your favorite place to tour? | ||
| Do you have a favorite country to go to? | ||
| I'm really a big fan of Japan just because it's the place where I feel the most foreign. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I honestly feel like a foreigner and I enjoy that feeling of being the different one. | ||
| Even though you're the gaijin, I've never run into anything Well, there's one sushi bar that wouldn't serve me because I was gaijin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, I went to this bar and apparently the dude just wasn't that. | ||
| They don't serve gaijin at this bar. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I forget the name of it. | ||
| How long ago was this? | ||
| Is this recent? | ||
| Yeah, no, no. | ||
| Probably within a decade, but like eight, nine years ago probably. | ||
| Brian and I just went a couple of weeks ago. | ||
| First time in Tokyo. | ||
| No, maybe actually longer. | ||
| Maybe like 15 years ago. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wonder if it's changed now. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I've heard that there's just some old cats that are just like, I'm not giving you my fish. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I remember 60 years ago. | ||
| You can't have my fish. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| How old was the dude? | ||
| Do you think he was alive back then? | ||
| I don't know, but you know, old enough. | ||
| Yeah, what a fucking crazy thing for a country to go through. | ||
| Could you imagine if we found out Chicago disappeared in the middle of the night? | ||
| You know, Chicago and Phoenix disappeared. | ||
| Boom. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gone. | |
| In a second, gone. | ||
| How would we react to some country that just took Chicago and Phoenix? | ||
| Just vaporized it. | ||
| Just vaporized 500,000 people or whatever the fuck it was. | ||
| We're the only ones that ever did it. | ||
| Woo! | ||
| That's dark. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's dark. | ||
| It's really crazy if you ever look at all the different weapons that are alive, like that the United States has, all the different nuclear warheads. | ||
| You ever seen like a map of like Russia's nuclear warheads, United States nuclear warheads, Iran supposedly is working on some shit, but Israel's got a ton of shit. | ||
| Pakistan has nuclear weapons. | ||
| India has nuclear weapons. | ||
| You know, they're like, Iran can't have them. | ||
| Everybody's got them! | ||
| Yeah, they shouldn't have them, but nobody should have them. | ||
| North Korea's got them. | ||
| It's really amazing when you look at how many of them there are. | ||
| If you look at a map of the entire world and all the nuclear arsenal, we could wipe out the whole planet completely. | ||
| Oh, many, many times over. | ||
| That's insane! | ||
| And I don't know how they're ever going to fix that. | ||
| How are they going to stop those things from being active? | ||
| Don't you have to figure that the law of averages says sometime, whether it's now or a thousand years from now, some of that shit's going to pop off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People believe that that happened in the past. | ||
| There's a lot of people that believe that there was, at one point in time, people had figured out nuclear power and there's evidence of giant, massive explosions in parts of the Middle East and stuff like that. | ||
| I believe it was Lebanon or something like that where people believe this. | ||
| It's one of those old ancient civilization ideas. | ||
| Atlantis. | ||
| Yeah, something along those lines. | ||
| They think that at one point in time we had figured out nuclear power. | ||
| They know we figured out batteries. | ||
| They had batteries they found in the pyramids and shit, which is pretty fascinating. | ||
| They figured out some shit, but I doubt they ever had nuclear power. | ||
| That's pretty preposterous. | ||
| It was the aliens, man. | ||
| The aliens did it? | ||
| The aliens did it, too. | ||
| If the aliens come, is that a good thing or a bad thing? | ||
| The aliens aren't already here. | ||
| Didn't we talk about my alien technology already? | ||
| Your alien? | ||
| I have alien technology in my body, man. | ||
| Oh, your heart, yeah. | ||
| The titanium valve. | ||
| I firmly believe there's alien technology here, dog. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| Absolutely, man. | ||
| How do you think that works? | ||
| They just give us little stuff and tell us to evolve? | ||
| Or similar to something of some things that got left behind and just got studied and properly looked at. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like some Terminator where they got the little chip and they're like backwards engineering everything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| Or it's something that we already have that we just take for granted. | ||
| Like birds or something. | ||
| Like birds are the aliens the whole time. | ||
| I forgot how wide the array of conversation... | ||
| I forgot how wide the span of topics get on the show. | ||
| Well, I think... | ||
| It's just like having a real conversation, right? | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Among stoners. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| I think if aliens are here, and I don't think they're giving us anything. | ||
| I don't believe that. | ||
| I don't know if we've ever captured any alien craft and back-engineered it. | ||
| It sounds sexy, but it also sounds like a crock of shit. | ||
| I don't buy it. | ||
| There's not a big enough leap. | ||
| You know, there's some leaps, you know, like the transistor. | ||
| There's a few things. | ||
| And if you look back at like, but it's all pretty much documented how everybody figured out everything and every step along the way. | ||
| I used to think before I looked into it that maybe there was some shit that the army learned from Roswell and, you know, that maybe they'd figured, but now I don't think so. | ||
| They just shit on their cars. | ||
| Yeah, you know what I think, man? | ||
| I think if we have had some contact with an alien life form, I think they're so fucking far past us that they can pause the earth and sweep up and then disappear again. | ||
| I mean, I think we're dealing with some motherfuckers. | ||
| We're food. | ||
| Yeah, or yeah, we could be that. | ||
| Well, I wish they would eat some more of us. | ||
| There's too many of us. | ||
| You know, too many shitheads. | ||
| There should be a test. | ||
| If you don't pass the test, you get fucking turned into barbecue. | ||
| Like Logan's Run or something. | ||
| Yeah, but then you don't want people to miss their family and their loved ones. | ||
| I don't want you to lose your family because you're a dumbass and an alien came and ate you. | ||
| I would have to be fighting with you against the aliens. | ||
| Well, that would probably turn most douchebags into probably more respectable people anyway. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If we knew that there was an alien that was watching that was going to eat you if you were a cunt. | ||
| Yeah, that would be good incentive to not be a cunt. | ||
| But then it'd be suicide by alien. | ||
| People just cunt off. | ||
| Just fucking run around. | ||
| Just lose it for a day. | ||
| Suicide by alien, man. | ||
| Girl breaks up. | ||
| I'm going fucking suicide by alien. | ||
| And people see him running down the street. | ||
| Fuck you! | ||
| Fuck you! | ||
| Throwing rocks and shit. | ||
| And everybody watches because they know what's going to happen. | ||
| Aliens show up. | ||
| Eat them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, what was this song? | |
| We'll make great pets? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, we will. | ||
| Well, you know, if you look at how we treat everything that's intelligent that we don't understand, like dolphins and orcas and even primates, like chimpanzees, we treat them like shit. | ||
| We put them in cages and shit. | ||
| We don't necessarily enhance their life. | ||
| We're not out there giving chimpanzees laptops and Showing them how to spell. | ||
| We teach them a few things to do tricks for candy so we can figure out how smart they are. | ||
| But that's no different than studying prisoners. | ||
| That's like psychological tests on prisoners. | ||
| That's all that shit is. | ||
| It's really funny that we would think that aliens would be any different than us. | ||
| If you look at every single intelligent species on this planet, even semi-intelligent, they all take advantage of those underneath them. | ||
| Killer whales eat dolphins. | ||
| Dolphins eat their babies. | ||
| Chimps eat monkeys. | ||
| We're cunts. | ||
| All life forms on this planet, it seems like, are cunts. | ||
| We're hoping that if there are, and if it is an alien life form that's super intelligent, we're hoping they're better than us. | ||
| They're way better than us. | ||
| We're trusting that they've got their shit together. | ||
| Oh, I'm not trusting anything. | ||
| I'm just saying that we might have learned a few things in the last few years off of some shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wouldn't trust an alien as far as I could throw him, honestly. | ||
| But you really think we've learned things from back-engineered alien technology? | ||
| I'd like to believe it. | ||
| That's my thing. | ||
| I'd love to believe it. | ||
| I'd like to believe it. | ||
| I can't prove it. | ||
| I'd love to believe it. | ||
| I can't prove it. | ||
| I wouldn't swear to it. | ||
| If you told me, like, my life depended on it, would you swear to it? | ||
| I'd say, ah, fuck, no. | ||
| It probably is bullshit. | ||
| I have, on my wall, I have framed the Roswell Daily Record, or whatever the fuck the newspaper is, the very newspaper where they reported that they had a crashed UFO, that they recovered it, that they sent the parts of it to Wright-Patterson Air Force Base. | ||
| They thought they had something, man. | ||
| I mean, they put this shit in the paper, that it was a crashed UFO. I wonder what it was. | ||
| You know, I really wish I... I talked to G. Gordon Liddy about this shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, there is an Area 51 out there. | ||
| You go near it, and they'll come fuck with you. | ||
| They'll kill you. | ||
| Yeah, they shoot on sight. | ||
| But I ain't romanticizing. | ||
| I just know, look at the stars. | ||
| There's a billion of them that think there ain't some other life forms out there. | ||
| It's just, you know, a little bit arrogant. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| I just don't know if they come here. | ||
| Maybe not. | ||
| It might be really hard to do. | ||
| It might be too hard even for, like, super advanced. | ||
| You know, if you want to get real stoner-like, and, you know, we could be like, well, maybe if they were that advanced, they wouldn't even need these ships and all this crap. | ||
| They'd travel interdimensionally. | ||
| Well, you know the real theory that trips me out, man, is that we came from Mars. | ||
| The real theory is that the reason why human life is different from all the other primate life on this planet is that what had happened was there had been the development of lower hominids on this planet that were like reaching close towards being like a human being but hadn't quite gotten there. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But we were existing on a completely different planet, Mars. | ||
| Mars used to have water. | ||
| Mars used to have an atmosphere. | ||
| I don't know about the faces. | ||
| I don't believe in all that. | ||
| I think that most of it looks like bullshit. | ||
| Yeah, most of it looks like tricks and shadows. | ||
| If you really pay attention to the high resolution photos and the experts that have in there, people want to see some shit. | ||
| But most likely it's just tricks and shadows. | ||
| There's a few objects up there, like the pyramid-looking things that make you go, huh? | ||
| But there's some natural things that look like, there's things called yardangs, you know, that look like a face carved in a rock, but it really is just the natural stone structure. | ||
| Did you read the book about all that? | ||
| Yeah, Graham Hancock's book. | ||
| I read his book about it. | ||
| I was thinking women are from Venus, men are from Mars. | ||
| That's not the book, you silly bitch. | ||
| There's a lot of dudes who believe that there was at one point in time a civilization on Mars that made its way to Earth. | ||
| Many, many, many, many thousands of years ago. | ||
| And then when I started humping the finer primate chicks? | ||
| I think we're them. | ||
| I think the idea is that we're them. | ||
| I think it's the Dogons in Africa. | ||
| A whole tribe. | ||
| And that's their entire mythology. | ||
| Their entire mythology is based on the fact that we are a tribe from Mars. | ||
| And that we came here. | ||
| It's fucking fascinating shit. | ||
| The Dogons. | ||
| I'm going to have to Google that one. | ||
| I'm going to have to Google that one. | ||
| It's fascinating shit, man, because we don't think it's possible, but yet, look, man, we put a fucking rover on Mars, man. | ||
| We flew a fucking rover, and we're taking pictures from Mars all day. | ||
| I mean, they have all kinds of cool shit going on, high-resolution close-up photos, and we know that we can put a man in space, and we know we can fucking send an object to Mars, and if we can get someone in space to stay alive and not cook them with gamma-ray bursts from giant... | ||
| Stars exploding out there in the galaxy, which is very possible. | ||
| But if we can get them all the way to Mars, like six months, and they stay alive, and they got enough food, dude, they can do what's called terraforming, where they can build machines that are big enough to actually create an artificial atmosphere on Mars. | ||
| That's possible even within our lifetime, if they really started dedicating themselves towards it. | ||
| That's some crazy shit, man. | ||
| Maybe spending some of these billions there. | ||
| Yeah, fuck all this war shit. | ||
| Could you imagine if they really did establish a base on the moon and a base on Mars? | ||
| Could you fucking imagine how crazy that would feel just to know that we are on planets? | ||
| As kids, we were all told by now that would have happened. | ||
| Like, as kids, we were told 2012, oh my god, it's going to be Jetsons land out there. | ||
| Well, that's the big argument against the moon landing. | ||
| You know, there's not a whole lot of arguments against the moon landing that make sense. | ||
| And this is coming from someone who's argued it. | ||
| I've said to people, I don't believe we landed on the moon. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| What the fuck do I know? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| It's preposterous. | ||
| But I do know that there hasn't been anything from 1969. It's not cheaper, easier, and faster. | ||
| I'm not far behind you on that. | ||
| But the moon landings. | ||
| It's a fascinating subject. | ||
| I think most likely what happened is... | ||
| They did put people on the moon, but they faked a lot of the footage. | ||
| There's some of that footage, some photographs that look fake as fuck. | ||
| There's even a guy named Jay Wiener who made a documentary about it. | ||
| There's something called a front-screen projection method of filming things before they had a green screen. | ||
| And Kubrick used it in 2001. And his idea is that that's the same techniques they use to fake some of these videos. | ||
| He doesn't believe that... | ||
| That the moon landing was a hoax, but what he believes is that some of the video is actually faked. | ||
| Preposterous. | ||
| Yeah, preposterous, yes. | ||
| And it's really a fascinating subject, especially when you consider the fact that we know that they definitely faked some propaganda photos from earlier. | ||
| NASA had these pictures of Michael Collins And he was attached by wires to this thing, doing training exercises. | ||
| And all they did was take that and they cropped him and put it in a black background. | ||
| And they said he was on a moonwalk. | ||
| It's the exact photo. | ||
| So we know that that was a standard practice. | ||
| We know that there was at least some shenanigans going on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For sure. | |
| Or someone decided to take a photo and black it out. | ||
| So his idea was that it's much more likely that they went, but first of all, if they did go, there's a lot of radiation and shit you're dealing with. | ||
| You're telling me your film's gonna be hunky-dory out there at 250 degrees on the moon with all the fucking radiation? | ||
| You can't even put your film through the airport metal detector, it gets fucked up. | ||
| Especially back in 1969. And these were like regular, special Hasselblad cameras that were designed for the moon landing, but they were no different than the cameras here on Earth. | ||
| They weren't, like, super insulated or something like that. | ||
| The whole thing is fascinating to me, man. | ||
| I could trip on it for hours. | ||
| I wish I knew a dude who was really, really smart who didn't believe it, you know? | ||
| But I don't. | ||
| Everybody that I know that doesn't believe it is only marginally smart. | ||
| And the really smart dudes that I know believe we went to the moon. | ||
| So it's a fucking... | ||
| It's a real tough argument, you know? | ||
| You think we win or no? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| See, it's one of them things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was convinced we didn't go for a while. | ||
| There's days when I'm like, my biggest thing is like you. | ||
| It's like, why haven't we been back? | ||
| Why haven't we been back once in 60 years, or what is it, 70s, almost 50 years? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Apparently, they were making fun of me about this on some podcast called The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe. | ||
| I haven't heard it. | ||
| I heard it's funny, though. | ||
| And I would make fun of me, too, especially if I was a scientist and I actually knew things. | ||
| But there's certain things that I find absolutely fascinating about conspiracy theory, and the moon landing is my favorite one. | ||
| That's my number one one. | ||
| JFK is mine. | ||
| That's a good one, too. | ||
| That's a good one. | ||
| And AIDS is not real. | ||
| That's my other one. | ||
| That's a good one, too. | ||
| I never heard that one. | ||
| Oh, that's a fascinating one. | ||
| That's one by a guy named Peter Duisburg, who's a biologist. | ||
|
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|
Oh, is this the dude who supposedly pricked himself with it? | |
| Oh, I don't know about that. | ||
| I thought I remember back in the day, like some doctor actually said he had something that was supposedly AIDS virus and pricked himself with it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, I don't know if that's the same guy. | ||
| This was a while back, though. | ||
| I'm going to read you a quote from Bill Clinton, and we can get off this moon thing. | ||
| And this is one of my favorite all-time quotes that anybody's ever said in regards to a conspiracy theory. | ||
| This is Bill Clinton in his book. | ||
| He wrote, just a month before, Apollo 11 astronauts Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong had left their colleague Michael Collins aboard Spaceship Columbia and had walked on the moon, beating by five months President Kennedy's goal of putting a man on the moon before the decade was out. | ||
| The old carpenter asked me if I believed it happened. | ||
| I said, sure, I saw it on television, and he disagreed. | ||
| He said that he didn't believe it for a minute and that them television fellers could make things look real that weren't. | ||
| He goes, back then, I thought the guy was a crank. | ||
| During my eight years in Washington, I saw some things on TV that made me wonder if he wasn't ahead of his time. | ||
|
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|
The fucking president said that! | |
| The fucking president said that! | ||
| And all it did was leave a real vague, open-ended thing there. | ||
| You shouldn't say that, Mr. Clinton. | ||
| That is not fair. | ||
|
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|
That's him. | |
| He's having a laugh about that right now. | ||
| He's a troll. | ||
| He's taking a piss on everybody, man. | ||
| He's a troll. | ||
| Maybe he did that shit to sell records or to sell books. | ||
| Could you hear about that dude that said that Jimi Hendrix's manager killed him? | ||
| Have you heard about that? | ||
| You know that story? | ||
| I think that's also another buy my book. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| I thought so too until I looked into it. | ||
| And the way he died, he drowned in wine. | ||
| They said he had nine sleeping pills in his mouth, and he had swallowed them, and he coughed up a lot of it. | ||
| Nine sleeping pills and literally drowned in wine. | ||
| That's what killed him. | ||
| It's almost like he was taking in wine while he was unconscious. | ||
| It's really kind of fucked up. | ||
| If the manager really did kill the guy, it's absolutely fascinating. | ||
| What was that video of him? | ||
| Bill Clinton dancing. | ||
| Oh, no, it's not. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| But this guy who was the singer from The Animals, not to do... | ||
| Eric Burden? | ||
| No, is that his name? | ||
| Eric Burden, yeah. | ||
| The guy who wrote that book. | ||
| It's Eric Burden and the Animals. | ||
| The original Animals is always the same guy? | ||
| I'm pretty sure. | ||
| That's not the guy's name. | ||
| Maybe it is the guy's name. | ||
| I guess we just have to believe it, Robin. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| No, tour manager. | ||
| You're going to Google me? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're going to Google me? | |
| You're talking about... | ||
| Hendrix murdered. | ||
| Oh, there you go. | ||
| Nice buckle, sir. | ||
| Right? | ||
|
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|
There is a house in New Orleans. | |
| They call the rising sun. | ||
| I don't know that song. | ||
| I just know that part. | ||
| James Wright. | ||
| That's the dude's name. | ||
| Really? | ||
| James Tappy Wright. | ||
| Maybe he wasn't the singer. | ||
| Maybe he was one of the dudes in the band. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I might be wrong, but the video they showed of him looked like he was the singer. | ||
| It's pretty fucking fascinating shit, man. | ||
| But... | ||
| A lot of people are calling bullshit. | ||
| A lot of people are calling bullshit, but then other people believe that it happened. | ||
| And one of the reasons they also believe it happened is because his manager was a notorious criminal. | ||
| Apparently, Hendrix had a really scary manager, this dude named Michael Jeffrey. | ||
| And he even had Hendrix kidnap once to show Hendrix how much... | ||
| and hold him for three days. | ||
| I wasn't familiar with all this. | ||
| He saved Hendrix. | ||
| He came in and saved him. | ||
| And he said, like, see, see, you know, without me, you're fucked. | ||
| And Hendrix's girlfriend apparently hated him. | ||
| Well, Hendrix's girlfriend was thrown off the roof of the Chelsea Hotel. | ||
| She died. | ||
| And Hendrix died this way. | ||
| They're both dead. | ||
| And there's a big life insurance policy, apparently, on Hendrix. | ||
| And that's the knock that this guy's saying. | ||
| And this guy, James Wright, wrote a book about it. | ||
| You know, could be. | ||
| He's just trying to sell some books. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| But who the fuck knows? | ||
| Is the manager dude still around? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Died in a plane crash. | ||
| Died in a plane crash a couple years. | ||
| Makes me wonder though if it would have came out eventually. | ||
| Like he might have told somebody or wrote it down in his journal book. | ||
| Apparently the manager was a scumbag and was always broke and always owed money and was borrowing money from the mob. | ||
| And that was part of the problem was that the mob was involved in all this and he was scared to come out and talk about it. | ||
| Who the fuck knows? | ||
| If it's not true, fuck you in your ass with a broken bottle, you piece of shit. | ||
| If you made that up, you fuckhead, that's true. | ||
| But you'd have to be a really fucked up dude to make up a story like that. | ||
| Or you could be in a bad situation and just need some cash. | ||
| That's the best way to sell a book. | ||
| Or really had a dislike for the person you're telling the story about. | ||
| Even though the dude's dead. | ||
| He's been dead since like 1970-something. | ||
| I think, man, I don't know. | ||
| Wish I knew. | ||
| Wish I knew the dude. | ||
| I fancy myself a pretty big Jimi Hendrix fan, and I'm totally unfamiliar with any of this stuff. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| Girlfriend getting killed and him dying. | ||
| You know, we heard the legend of him dying on his own, choking on his own vomit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know. | |
| Yeah, this all started because I have a thread on my message board where it's called Things They Got Wrong on the podcast. | ||
| Because, you know, we're always high and talking shit. | ||
| We're often incorrect. | ||
| So I like to look at it every now and then to find maybe some shit I didn't know. | ||
| But sometimes people write things and they don't even bother Google on. | ||
| They just say, yeah, you're wrong about this. | ||
| Do you even research it at all? | ||
| Like he said, we were talking about Hendrix, and I'm a huge Hendrix fan, and we were talking about heroin once on the show, and why is it so many great musicians love heroin? | ||
| And all these people were like, Hendrix didn't do heroin! | ||
| He was arrested for heroin. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was arrested for heroin. | ||
| He didn't shoot up heroin. | ||
| He wasn't a junkie. | ||
| Snorting it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But, I mean, the crazy thing is, like, why would you even say that? | ||
| All you have to do is just Google it. | ||
| Just Google it first. | ||
| Are you sure you know Jimmy so well? | ||
| Right. | ||
| But that is, that's leftover. | ||
| That's the internet. | ||
| The internet's going to fix that eventually. | ||
| But this is, like, some leftover legacy shit where people can write. | ||
| It should be, like, you know, there's Spellcheck. | ||
| It should be like reality check. | ||
| Like you write something on a message board and Wikipedia goes, go fuck yourself, stupid. | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| And it just shows you, it underlines, this is an incorrect statement. | ||
| The internet's going to cure it, just like those fuckheads in Kentucky, those stupid kids with their photos blasted across the internet today. | ||
| The internet's going to cure you all. | ||
| They used to do that shit all the time in Ohio, though. | ||
| Big Ohio State-Michigan games and shit like that. | ||
| You would walk down the street and cars would just be on fire. | ||
| People would be lighting dumpsters on fire. | ||
| And then they would bomb the whole entire neighborhood with gas. | ||
| And so even in your house, you're sitting there, fucking eyes watering and shit. | ||
| And you just had to wrap towels around your head. | ||
| In certain places, there's a lot of people with some pent-up energy. | ||
| And they need to blow that shit out. | ||
| And these dumb fucks have been doing it like this for so long, but now everybody with their cell phone cameras and shit, you can't just do that anymore. | ||
| I'd say, dude, it's over. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's over. | |
| Getting away with shit is just over. | ||
| I mean, like, I can't even see, like, don't get married if you... | ||
| Plan on, like, being, like, a cheating person. | ||
| Eventually, somebody's gonna put you on blast. | ||
| Somebody's gonna take care of your business for you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's no... | ||
| There's no... | ||
| You gotta be integrated today. | ||
| You gotta be integrated with the Hive. | ||
| You know? | ||
| You know? | ||
| When wifey can just google it up or who's talking to him? | ||
| Twitter or Facebook and look and whatever. | ||
| There's no privacy no more. | ||
| Especially when you volunteer my information. | ||
| I'm here and I'm doing this and here's pictures from here. | ||
| What do you think about people that are having to give up their Facebook information to get jobs? | ||
| Have you heard that? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, I've heard about it. | ||
| They gotta give up their Facebook passwords. | ||
| Before it even started becoming a story, I used to tell my nephews and nieces, I'd see some of the ignorant shit they'd post, and I'd be like, yo, this shit never goes away. | ||
| I was like, there's gonna be a time and a day when a motherfucker's gonna look to hire you, and all he's gonna have to do is Google this, and bang, all that's gonna be right in a pre-organized section for him. | ||
| I tried to get rid of my MySpace. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| They're holding on for dear life. | ||
| You can't even delete them. | ||
| I'm serious, man. | ||
| They were supposed to send me email instructions. | ||
| I gave them my email address. | ||
| Send me email instructions. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're like, oh, it got lost in the email. | |
| You know what they're like? | ||
| They're like a girlfriend from high school that's holding out. | ||
| She really believes that this whole wife and kids thing, that shit ain't going to work out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She's just going to hang in there. | ||
| This Facebook thing is not going to last. | ||
| Facebook is nothing. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| MySpace was huge two years ago. | ||
| Before that, nothing! | ||
| Come on. | ||
| MySpace is coming back. | ||
| They really want to believe. | ||
| I logged in the other day. | ||
| Did you? | ||
| I did, too. | ||
| Somebody didn't believe. | ||
| I haven't even looked at it in God knows how long. | ||
| I had that spat about the country music thing. | ||
| I think my managers still deal with it, though, because there's parts of the world where I believe it's still viable. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like Russia, I think, still messes with MySpace a little bit. | |
| Just to give people viruses. | ||
| It's just a good distribution method for computer viruses. | ||
| I went there the other day to prove that my dog's name was Johnny Cash. | ||
| So I had to find it. | ||
| I knew there was a photo of him somewhere. | ||
| Something about Johnny Cash. | ||
| So I had to find it. | ||
| The only place was on my MySpace. | ||
| Yeah, I forgot I had a fake band on MySpace and I found like seven songs I wrote. | ||
| One was called Jiu Jitsu and it was all about Jiu Jitsu. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's the fake band? | |
| It was called Java Lamps. | ||
| It's still on there. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Remember MySpace? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Remember when we were going to do MySpace for 10 Foot Screws? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, one time, we were in Denver, and it was me and my boy Eddie Bravo and my buddy Tate and Duncan and Brian, and we walked by a wig shop. | ||
| We were just baked, fucking around, wandering through Denver. | ||
| Denver's a great town. | ||
| And we see this wig shop, so we said, let's just go in and see what's up. | ||
| For whatever reason, we decided to buy these big crazy wigs. | ||
| So all of them wore these wigs and we pretended to be a band. | ||
| And the band was called Ten Foot Screws. | ||
| And this is like after my comedy show. | ||
| Eddie Bravo went on stage. | ||
| We introduced him as the lead singer from Ten Foot Screws. | ||
| And he had the audience... | ||
| Let me hear some noise over here! | ||
| He would go back and forth with them, and he gave out these flyers saying that they were free tickets to the after party, and made up an address like 16th Street and El Pollo logo. | ||
| You had to think something was going on while it was happening, because everybody was like, this is a... | ||
| And they wore them for the whole weekend, man. | ||
| It was a really ridiculous weekend. | ||
| But there's a very funny video about it. | ||
| Is that video out there? | ||
| How do you find that, Brian? | ||
| It's Joe Show 7, 10 Foot Screws. | ||
| Just Google 10 Foot Screws. | ||
| I mean, it was some really funny shit. | ||
| They had people auditioning to be in the band. | ||
| Remember that dude that got him to get on his knees? | ||
| I'm not doing it justice. | ||
| You have to see it. | ||
| You have to see the video. | ||
| I'm going to check it out. | ||
| Probably wouldn't be so funny to you. | ||
| For you, it's like, you know, if a bunch of your friends went out and pretended to be stand-up comedians and dressed like a stand-up comedian. | ||
| We've done similar shit, man. | ||
| I get it, man. | ||
| Life on the road, man. | ||
| Yeah, it gets weird, right? | ||
| Do you go, like, for long periods, or do you just weekends and come back? | ||
| No, I still go out for a month or two, you know, at a time, you know, if I got to. | ||
| If I can do the weekend thing, it's why the acoustic thing has been becoming kind of convenient. | ||
| People are digging on it, and it's easy to do. | ||
| I can travel quicker and move faster. | ||
| Yeah, when you say a month at a time, is there, like, is it... | ||
| Is it logistically more effective to do a month at a time? | ||
| Like, once you have the stuff out there, your equipment, you just keep moving it? | ||
| Is that the idea? | ||
| You just kind of move from one town to the next. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But is it because it's too difficult to fly all the way to Chicago? | ||
| I think your stuff revolves more around weekends, you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, music, I'll play Wednesday night, you know what I mean? | ||
| I'll play Tuesday night. | ||
| Right. | ||
| In a town, you know, it's... | ||
| Yeah, most comedy does revolve around weekends, but there's a lot of dudes who do, like, off-night gigs. | ||
| I do a lot of off-night gigs for the UFC, because sometimes we'll do, like, a fight night in somewhere, Omaha, Nebraska, or some shit on a Wednesday night, so I'll have a comedy show on a Tuesday night. | ||
| But, yeah, music is more of an everyday thing, you think? | ||
| I guess. | ||
| You know, it just seems like, you know, that's the traveling band, man. | ||
| You gotta keep it moving. | ||
| I mean, to keep loading and flying like a whole ton of gear just gets old, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Back and forth, yeah. | |
| It gets old. | ||
| You put it in a trailer, I mean, you still gotta unload and unpack and unpack. | ||
| So you just drag it around. | ||
| You fly it out there once, and then you drag it around in a bus, and then you bring it back. | ||
| A lot of times, I just roll the bus up here to LA and take off from here. | ||
| And so now, when you do acoustic, all you have to do is fly, right? | ||
| Yeah, I can fly more. | ||
| I can definitely get around easier. | ||
| Are you allowed to bring a guitar on the plane? | ||
| If not, these cases are built for underneath. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They can take a beating? | ||
| They can take a beating. | ||
| Did you ever see that video, United Airlines Breaks Guitars? | ||
| Uh-uh, I have to check that one out. | ||
| You ever seen it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-uh. | |
| Brian, pull that shit up on YouTube. | ||
| It's kind of funny. | ||
| Oh, you're going to freak me out now, huh? | ||
| It's a band that made a song about it because they were fucking throwing his shit around. | ||
| I think I remember hearing something about this. | ||
| Yeah, it's actually not a bad song. | ||
| It's not my kind of music, but when you think of the context of how this guy had to create it and then create a music video... | ||
|
unidentified
|
United Airlines on my way to Nebraska The plane departed Halifax connecting in Chicago's O'Hare While on the ground a passenger said from the seat behind me My God, | |
| they're throwing guitars out there The band and I exchanged a look best described as terror at the action on the tarmac and knowing whose projectiles these would be. | ||
| So before I left Chicago, I alerted three employees who showed complete indifference towards me. | ||
| United, United, you broke my Taylor guitar. | ||
| United, some big help you are. | ||
| You broke it, you should fix it. | ||
| Your libel just admitted. | ||
| I should have flown with someone else. | ||
| We're gone by car. | ||
| Because United breaks guitar. | ||
| How many hits does that video have? | ||
|
unidentified
|
uh... | |
| 11 million. | ||
| Suck it, United. | ||
| I think if I remember correctly, they ended up buying him new guitars and all this shit. | ||
| Yeah, I think he wouldn't take it, though. | ||
| I think he wouldn't take the money. | ||
| I think they offered it to him, but he said no. | ||
| He was upset that it took so much and so long for them to pay that they should have just paid him like a normal person should get paid. | ||
| Well, you think a stipulation might have been take the video down, too? | ||
| Yeah, I bet it would. | ||
| I bet that's exactly what it was. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| I wouldn't have gone for that one either. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck you, man. | |
| One guitar bitch, you know how much publicity 11 million YouTube hits gets? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Holy shit. | ||
| I'm getting gigs off of that. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Well, he is. | ||
| I had never heard of the guy. | ||
| And it's a good, I mean, like I said, it's not necessarily my kind of music, but it's a good version of that kind of music. | ||
| He's a good artist. | ||
| And then I checked out his stuff online. | ||
| He's sort of like a folksy. | ||
| DaveCarrollSpecial.com. | ||
| Yeah, he's like a folksy type of a character. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| You never had your shit get broken? | ||
| No. | ||
| I've had close. | ||
| I used to run with different cases and this actual guitar, the case had a hole punched through it. | ||
| Luckily it didn't do any damage to the guitar. | ||
| Damn, that must have freaked you the fuck out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what initiated me. | ||
| How old was that guitar? | ||
| I've had this probably about 10-12 years. | ||
| Mother of Pearl inlays in there. | ||
| Yeah, this is John Paul Larrave. | ||
| He's a Canadian company. | ||
| They make handmade guitars, and I just love this guitar. | ||
| I play this. | ||
| I play Gibson Doves and Hummingbirds, too. | ||
| Is it special woods? | ||
| Like how many different woods are used in a guitar? | ||
| I don't know, dude. | ||
| It's like, you know, several, but I wouldn't even know. | ||
| They're like cars. | ||
| I don't know how the hell they work. | ||
| I just play them. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I just drive them. | ||
| I just play them. | ||
| One of the things that fascinates me the most about acoustic guitars is that it's organic. | ||
| Like if you're looking at that thing, that's just some lacquer or some clear finish over some beautiful natural wood. | ||
| You know, I love that. | ||
| I love that that was created by a craftsman. | ||
| You know, that's not something you could really do with just a, you know, a machine and a hole punch and spit it out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| You know, that's a real piece of craftsmanship, you know? | ||
| I love this right up here. | ||
| If you're going to get something on the camera. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Little angel right there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Love that. | ||
| Oh, Mother of Pearl, right? | ||
| Is that abalone or Mother of Pearl? | ||
| Mother of Pearl. | ||
| Wow, that's fucking dope. | ||
| Yeah, I love it. | ||
| Yeah, that's not just a musical instrument. | ||
| I mean, that's a work of art. | ||
| That's a piece of artwork. | ||
| I've written a lot of my songs on it. | ||
| I bet you have. | ||
| Let's hear another one. | ||
| What do you got? | ||
| Well, before I do this next one, I just want to say one of the reasons I asked you to come on this week was... | ||
| I've made it pretty public now that my daughter was born with a disorder called cystic fibrosis. | ||
| And I'm starting to get kind of heavy on wanting to get involved in the fundraising tip. | ||
| And I'm actually getting involved with an organization called the CF Foundation. | ||
| CFF.org if you need any facts about what CF is. | ||
| But it's like basically a pulmonary and respiratory disorder where basically the cells kind of process salt wrong. | ||
| And I'm no genius with this. | ||
| My wife could explain it to you perfectly. | ||
| But basically, you develop a much thicker mucus in your lungs than normal. | ||
| And they have to, like, my daughter takes treatments to shake them loose and whatnot. | ||
| And essentially, you know, that develops over time and kind of constricts the breathing and leads to, you know, an early demise for a lot of kids and whatnot. | ||
| But they're doing a lot of really good breakthrough work right now. | ||
| Like, seriously, like, could within the next decade get a wrap around this thing? | ||
| It's all privately funded. | ||
| I'm going to be doing concerts and some other things in the future, but right now we have a team. | ||
| I tweeted you about it and you retweeted it in the link. | ||
| I'm sure you can find the link and just throw it up on the thing one more time. | ||
| We're doing a little walk, you know what I mean? | ||
| Just trying to get a little kind of thing started. | ||
| This next song is kind of about... | ||
| Learning, my wife and myself, learning about this and how we dealt with it. | ||
| It's called 65 Roses, and it's called 65 Roses because when children try to say 65 Roses, it often comes out sounding like 65 Roses. | ||
| So a lot of the organizations kind of revolve around that theme. | ||
| But this song is just, it seemed fitting title. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So. | ||
| Been a bit of a while since I seen you smile It's been too long, baby, what went wrong? | ||
| Tell me how it got spoiled. | ||
| Tell me when it went bad. | ||
| And how to get back to the times that we had. | ||
| When we were both young and our spirits were bold. | ||
| Now we're just angry and we act like we're old. | ||
| We can't even talk it out without one of us walking away. | ||
| When you were 18, I just turned 29. I was fresh out the coffin, girl, and you were so fine. | ||
| The future was bright and the world did seem new. | ||
| I was with some other woman, but I was thanking you. | ||
| I knew how it hurts. | ||
| I knew how it feels. | ||
| I knew how it aches, cause the heart never heals. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When we're so busy screaming, we don't hear the words that we say. | |
| We've taken our lumps. | ||
| We took a few blows. | ||
| We hit a few bumps. | ||
| Had our fair share of woes. | ||
| We tried to see good through all of the bad. | ||
| Put on our smiles and pretend we're not sad. | ||
| We gotta be tough. | ||
| We gotta be strong. | ||
| We gotta be right. | ||
| Can't afford to be wrong. | ||
| And it's hard to shake the blues when you're reading bad news every day. | ||
| We worry too much for one couple to bear. | ||
| We hunger so much for one person to care. | ||
| We're fooling our families. | ||
| We're fooling our friends. | ||
| We pray that the pain and the frustration ends. | ||
| Hope is a chance. | ||
| Hope is a dream. | ||
| Hope is a drug. | ||
| Maybe hope's a vaccine. | ||
| In a race against time, I get down on my knees and I pray. | ||
| I shout at the devil and I curse the Lord. | ||
| I promise them everything I can afford. | ||
| I'd sell off my soul, I'd lie and deceive. | ||
| I've tried to be righteous, I've tried to believe. | ||
| I pray every prayer and kick all of my highs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For hours I stare at those beautiful eyes. | |
| All of my problems seem to be melting away. | ||
| A smile on her face says, Daddy, everything is okay. | ||
| In the race against time, I get down on my knees and I pray Thank you That's beautiful, man. | ||
| How did you change from being essentially like a rap guy? | ||
| When you came out with House of Pain, you were like a rapper. | ||
| And then you became like this blues dude along the way. | ||
| I think you fucked a lot of people's heads up with that Whitey Ford shit. | ||
| A lot of people didn't see that coming. | ||
| When you came out with What It's Like, a lot of people were like, whoa. | ||
| A lot of it had to do with a good friend just encouraging me once he heard me doing it. | ||
| I used to always play guitar and stuff just kind of on the low. | ||
| Write little ditties. | ||
| And I was recording. | ||
| I had left House of Pain and was recording with a homeboy of mine, and he was helping me produce the record, this guy Dante Ross, and he heard me strumming out what actually became what it's like. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just in his living room, I was playing a guitar, and he was like, what is that? | |
| And he was like, we're gonna record it, and I trusted him enough to believe it. | ||
| Okay, let's go for it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Did you feel like you were pigeonholed as a rapper? | ||
| People wouldn't accept it? | ||
| Or were you thinking of it? | ||
| Well, I remember the label. | ||
| The label, dude. | ||
| They hated it. | ||
| They thought I was really fucking up. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They thought I was really doing the wrong thing. | ||
| Thank God they thought that. | ||
| I love when people are wrong like that. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| It's poetic. | ||
| And then I've just fallen in love with writing songs. | ||
| I mean, I think... | ||
| All the time I've spent as an MC and writing lyrics as a rapper has helped me learn how to craft words in a way that the songwriting is that much better for it. | ||
| That's true because a lot of rappers, you know, that's one thing that rappers don't get enough credit for is the complexity of their verses compared to a lot of shit that you hear from just singers and songwriters. | ||
| Yeah, like that entire song I just did, a rapper might use that many words in one verse. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Not always well, but what I'm saying is you have to learn to use the words and use a lot of them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Some not always well, but look at Nas. | ||
| And when you can be even more selective about how many words, it becomes easier in a sense. | ||
| Like, oh, I can choose less words and say more because I'm singing and I'm playing this tune with it. | ||
| Yeah, that's an interesting place to come from if you really think about it that way. | ||
| Because, yeah, there's so many more words in a rap song. | ||
| Like I said, not in a Soulja Boy song. | ||
| Do you consider that rap? | ||
| What is Soulja Boy? | ||
| You know, the things I'm familiar with about him are just kind of like chants more than anything. | ||
| Yeah, it's funny how shit goes that gets stuck in the rap genre. | ||
| But I mean, Lil Jon made a career doing that. | ||
| He wasn't a rap rapper. | ||
| He'd come up with good catch little phrases and have like eight of them on a song. | ||
| People scream out when they're drunk at a club. | ||
| Motherfuckers in here getting hype. | ||
| Motherfucker's in here getting hype. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| You have a whole song like that, you know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hate if you want on Soulja Boy, but there's cats that have been doing it before him, you know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| So what did the label say? | ||
| Get money. | ||
| Anybody gets money, good for you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get money. | |
| Get money. | ||
| What did the label say? | ||
| They couldn't say much. | ||
| I was luckily kind of a big fish on a small label. | ||
| Did anybody pull you aside and go, you're fucking up, kid? | ||
| No, they didn't pull me aside. | ||
| They told me blatantly what they thought. | ||
| What were the words that they chose? | ||
| We think you need to choose whether you're a rapper or a singer, or it's two different projects. | ||
| They didn't think it was one project. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Because I was doing this, like what had happened was I went to New York and was doing, I quit House of Pain basically and thought I was over. | ||
| I was just like, music's over now. | ||
| I mean, really? | ||
| Come on, what am I going to do now? | ||
| I just was kind of down and my buddy called me and said, screw everything, to hell with labels. | ||
| Come to New York and make some music. | ||
| And I went out there strictly to make a hip-hop record. | ||
| So I made all these hip-hop songs. | ||
| All the hip-hop songs on that Whitey Force record were done first. | ||
| They were done. | ||
| And then the other stuff started happening. | ||
| And we were just like... | ||
| Just between me and Jantra, we kind of were like, this could work. | ||
| If we piece it together right, it makes kind of sense. | ||
| And it just made sense to us. | ||
| Yeah, I remember I heard what it's like and I went, whoa. | ||
| Look at this motherfucker. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| You took a crazy chance. | ||
| God, it was the best shit you did. | ||
| Even though I'm a huge House of Pain fan, I love that. | ||
| But I like your singing better, man. | ||
| I mean, jump around's an all-time classic, period. | ||
| Always will be. | ||
| The Louie Louie of the 90s. | ||
| When Marcus Davis used to fight in the UFC was one of the things I loved. | ||
| He'd come out to jump around with a fucking kilt on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Some other dudes need to come out to that, man. | ||
| That's a hype-up fight music. | ||
| We need some more Irish fighters. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| I remember the one that you teamed up with, Santana. | ||
| What's it called? | ||
| Put Your Lights On. | ||
| That was one of my favorite jams back in the day. | ||
| And that's what really made me go, fuck yeah, you're legit. | ||
| That was a good hookup. | ||
| How did that ever come across? | ||
| That was kind of crazy, because... | ||
| Basically, what happened is I recorded that whole YD4 record, then this heart thing happened, and I wound up getting surgery, like emergency surgery, and woke up from it, and found out that I had canceled my medical insurance because my accountant at the time had ripped me off for a couple hundred grand in taxes. | ||
| So like I woke up from heart surgery like with my house like basically on the blocks and the government calling me for money and I was in my house it was in Laurel Canyon in Mount Olympus and it was on the hill you could see the whole city and the house was empty except for me in a chair and I was moving into a little apartment like it was it was it was get humble time That's | ||
|
unidentified
|
awesome. | |
| And it was like, hey now, all you sinners put your lights on. | ||
| The craziest thing is I just told this story at one of these acoustic things. | ||
| It's something that I realized recently that I never really talk about much. | ||
| But when I was in the hospital after this surgery, I think hospitals kill more people than anything. | ||
| From my experience. | ||
| As much as the surgeon saved my life and his technique and all that, the hospital damn near killed me. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| You don't rest in a hospital. | ||
| They tell you, get rest and all this. | ||
| But every other minute, somebody's coming in and sticking a needle in you. | ||
| And even in a great hospital. | ||
| I was in a great hospital. | ||
| I was probably in one of the best hospitals in the world. | ||
| It's still, like, it's not nurses that do these things anymore. | ||
| There's, like, sub... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sub-nurses, like helpers, assistants. | |
| That's all they do is come and take blood from everybody. | ||
| He goes around with his tray, everything. | ||
| But you're always getting poked and rotted. | ||
| They're doing something to you and not telling you what it is. | ||
| I didn't even get explained about the thing ticking in my chest until two days after I woke up. | ||
| I was going nuts from hearing the sound. | ||
| I think I told this story last time about a telltale heart. | ||
| I was like, I'm going nuts. | ||
| So you hear that all day? | ||
| All day. | ||
| It's like white noise to me now, but yeah, I can take my pulse. | ||
| Put that shit up to the mic again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
People who haven't heard this need to hear this It's so crazy what? | |
| Wow. | ||
| That's real shit right there. | ||
| So one of the nights, like I was only, I only stayed there like six days. | ||
| I was supposed to be there like a couple weeks. | ||
| But like they let me go home because I was losing it. | ||
| I was going to die. | ||
| Because nobody would let you sleep. | ||
| They just wouldn't let me rest and I was losing it. | ||
| I thought I was convinced I was going to die in the hospital basically. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But the night before they let me go, I was losing it. | ||
| I mean like That kind of tears where they're just coming out of your eyes and a woman came in, this nurse, and was the first person to actually just touch me with some humanity and care and be like, oh, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright. | ||
| And it soothed me enough that I fell asleep, woke up the next day, I was able to get out of the hospital, I got home. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| A couple weeks later when I was feeling up to it, I was like, I want to go back and thank this nurse. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I made my people take me to the hospital because I was still walking around frail. | ||
| Can I guess something? | ||
| Can I guess something? | ||
| This person... | ||
| She didn't exist. | ||
| Didn't exist. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Didn't exist. | ||
| How did you know that, Joe? | ||
| You are the guy, the angel. | ||
| I knew by the way you said it. | ||
| The way you said it was setting up a ghost story. | ||
| Well, I mean, it's about the song. | ||
| There's an angel, there's a monster sitting under my bed. | ||
| That was the noise of me. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| This is what he's talking about. | ||
| That was the noise of the heart of death. | ||
| And then the angel with her hand on my head was the woman. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is a great fucking song. | |
| Turn that shit up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's sick. | |
| There's a darkness living deep in my soul. | ||
| Still got a purpose to serve. | ||
| So let your light shine deep into my heart. | ||
| Damn, my hair was black. | ||
| Isn't that crazy when you see yourself? | ||
| It's white now. | ||
| Weird seeing yourself age, isn't it? | ||
| Dude, that is a beautiful song. | ||
| Yeah, that shit is white now. | ||
| Wow, that's crazy. | ||
| It's nuts seeing that song. | ||
| Yeah, I constantly have to dye my hair, and that's what my kitchen just looks like, where you splatter a little bit on your toilet or on your wall, and so now it just looks like there's blood everywhere in my bathroom. | ||
| I just gotta own it, man. | ||
| I can't just ferment it, man. | ||
| I mean, what am I gonna do with the beard, man? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Wifey likes it anyways, man. | ||
| Wifey likes it. | ||
| A lot of guys get in there with a brush and do the whole beard. | ||
| I'm going to own it. | ||
| I earned every one of these, man. | ||
| Indeed. | ||
| Indeed. | ||
| And I ain't older. | ||
| I'm 42. This is like, remember, I've had heart surgeries. | ||
| I've lived eight lives so far, man. | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| Hearing that song, knowing that story, it makes it so much different. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's amazing how much it fires you up. | ||
| Dude, that is the root of all fucking brilliance and creativity is a man with his back pushed against the wall who just fires back. | ||
| That's the best shit. | ||
| It was a rough time. | ||
| Think about how good that goddamn song is. | ||
| It's one of your best songs ever. | ||
| I mean, you got a lot of great fucking songs, but that's an all-timer, bro. | ||
| That's an all-timer. | ||
| And when you think about where it came from, you know? | ||
| Do you ever work with Santana anymore? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I haven't heard from him, you know, quite a while. | |
| Boy, how dumb does your old label feel? | ||
| Stupid motherfuckers. | ||
| Well, they're not in business anymore. | ||
| I know, but when that song, whoever the asshole was that actually said to you it was a bad idea, when that song came out, boy, did that dude feel stupid. | ||
| Yeah, that record sold a lot of records, man. | ||
| Is that guy still in the music business? | ||
| That fucking dummy that gave you shitty advice? | ||
| No, not really. | ||
| It's always amazing when someone who's not... | ||
| He's on some real Deepak Chopra type shit now. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| I mean, I made him a good $40 million, man. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| That's a lot of money. | ||
| You sell a guy for 4 million records. | ||
| That's not counting the House of Pain records. | ||
| That's another probably 3 or 4 million records. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's people who sold a lot more, but I ain't mad. | ||
| I ain't sneezing at it. | ||
| You don't want to be number one, man. | ||
| You just want to be able to buy those Audis. | ||
| I like my life. | ||
| I always tell people I like that the music's more famous than my face, man. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| That's what I say about Steve... | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| Because I'm going to the Olive Bar, like, right at the Ralph's down the street after this and get me some olives and some crackers and, like, nobody will bother me. | ||
| Yeah, you can sneak... | ||
| Steve Miller. | ||
| Nobody knows what Steve Miller looks like. | ||
| Not a person alive that knows what Steve Miller looks like. | ||
| That guy could be anywhere. | ||
| Mick Jagger can't go anywhere. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Not that Steve Miller would ever reach the status of the Rolling Stones, but pretty goddamn successful. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I ain't mad. | ||
| I ain't mad. | ||
| Do you really hang out at the Olive Bar in Burbank? | ||
| I don't hang out. | ||
| Not the Olive Garden, the Olive Bar at Ralph's, where you have all the exotic olives. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| I like olives. | ||
| You heard Olive Garden. | ||
| You just heard olives. | ||
| I said Olive Bar. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| There's an Olive Bar also. | ||
| Like just a place that's an Olive Bar? | ||
| Oh, it's called the Olive Bar. | ||
| It's Olive and Thyme, actually, but I always call it the Olive Bar. | ||
| Oh, oh, oh. | ||
| It's a restaurant bar that's in Toluca Lake, but it's called an olive bar. | ||
| It's all into olives and stuff? | ||
| It's got everything. | ||
| It's like a little Whole Foods mixed with a bar. | ||
| I might have to go check that out. | ||
| Whole Foods and a bar together. | ||
| But it's a restaurant. | ||
| Like, that kind of food. | ||
| You know, that... | ||
| It's a good place to pick up vegan chicks. | ||
| Oh, that's where all the actresses hang out and just fucking sit there and eat healthy and... | ||
| I'm into tabouli. | ||
| What's up? | ||
| I'm into olives, man. | ||
| I like olives, dude. | ||
| What's that about? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I fucking hate olives. | |
| It tastes good, dude. | ||
| Olives are disgusting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| It's funny. | ||
| I love the olive, but I hate olives. | ||
| Why do you hate olives? | ||
| They're gross. | ||
| Olive oil is fantastic for you. | ||
| Did you always like olives? | ||
| I think that's one of those things that come later in your life where you start liking olives or something. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, my dad liked them when I was young. | ||
| I think I just, you know. | ||
| I like a lot of weird shit, though. | ||
| I like sardines. | ||
| I don't like sardines. | ||
| I like anchovies. | ||
| Nah. | ||
| I like them crushed into flavors. | ||
| I couldn't eat just an anchovy, though. | ||
| I'm not opposed to some of those things used as ingredients and other things. | ||
| I'll eat a half a pound of anchovies in a sitting. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Will you put it on a big hunk of bread and make a sandwich out of it? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| He had doctor's orders to stop. | ||
| Faces and eyes and all? | ||
| They told me to stop eating sardines because I had arsenic poison. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Because I was eating so many sardines. | ||
| Sardines are just dirty bitches. | ||
| You know that's in apple juice too? | ||
| Apple juice and grape juice. | ||
| Yeah, I was talking to my wife, why don't we ever give her apple juice? | ||
| And it's like, because there's arsenic in it. | ||
| And she Googled it up and showed me grape juice and apple juice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It's the metals, the heavy metals, it's pollution. | ||
| That's how the sardines absorb it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's where the flavor comes from now. | |
| The pollution. | ||
| Yeah, if you think about what lobsters are, man, lobsters are the dirtiest bottom feeders of all time. | ||
| They taste good. | ||
| They're delicious. | ||
| Shrimp, too. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shrimp, too. | |
| Do you know they used to be, like, in New York, lobsters were, like, poor people food? | ||
| It's like they were so common, they used to, like, get them out of the Hudson River, like, way back in the day, and they would serve them at bars. | ||
| That's, like, the big thing that people would serve. | ||
| Like peanuts? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, it would be like normal bar food. | ||
| Like, instead of a burger, you'd get a lobster. | ||
| It was like poor people food. | ||
| Easy to cook, throw it in boiling water, people crack it open and eat it. | ||
| Well, fuck, look at wood floors. | ||
| That used to be for poor people. | ||
| You had carpet if you had money, you know? | ||
| And now I'm ripping out carpet and seeing this wood floor that just has glue and fucking hammers and staples in it. | ||
| They don't give a shit. | ||
| Carpet is disgusting. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Carpet is nasty. | ||
| It's like never changing your fucking clothes. | ||
| I mean, that's one of the things about, like, you know, living with this cystic fibrosis thing is we have to be ready. | ||
| She can't get a cold. | ||
| Like, I have a two-and-a-half-year-old daughter who never had a sniffle. | ||
| Think about that. | ||
| You have kids. | ||
| Do you monitor their diet? | ||
| Oh, well, you have to. | ||
| I mean, actually, no, no, no. | ||
| With cystic fibrosis, it's like it's a constant struggle to keep weight. | ||
| So you're loading up fats and stuff like that. | ||
| Yeah, it's absolutely new. | ||
| Our daughter is like, actually, that's her only thing she's struggling with is a little bit of weight. | ||
| We're trying to get, you know, but she's like that stage where she's just so two and a half rambunctious. | ||
| And her appetite just isn't huge. | ||
| It's like, you know, it's a constant battle to try and get the weight on her. | ||
| So do you have specific high caloric foods that you serve her? | ||
| We just load a lot of things up with extra butters and olive oils and my wife is constantly... | ||
| We have two different things like what we eat and what she eats. | ||
| She gets the full fat of everything with the highest calories and we try and eat more of a lower fat kind of... | ||
| You serve it like Kobe beef and stuff along those lines? | ||
| Well, she's starting to... | ||
| For a while, she would only eat like two things, man. | ||
| Macaroni and cheese and chicken nuggets and now she's starting to develop actually tastes for other things. | ||
| It's like a... | ||
| Brilliant day when we can get her to eat a burrito and she likes it and get these new things because she's starting to get more interested in food, hopefully. | ||
| What are the treatments? | ||
| What do they do? | ||
| Right now, she's doing very well. | ||
| She has no mucus in her lungs. | ||
| Her lungs are functioning at 99.9% which is awesome. | ||
| We put her in a vest that's hooked to a compressor that basically just... | ||
| Kind of violently shakes her, you know, and basically what the premise of that is when the mucus does form in these, you know, people's lungs, it shakes it loose so they can expectorate it a lot easier. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| But besides that, she did a little albuterol, like, you know, kind of like, you know, same as kind of asthma right now. | ||
| For us, it's all preventative at the moment. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, our biggest struggle, like I said, is just keeping weight on her. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Just getting her to gain and gain because she's, you know, She's very tall for her age, but she's very thin, and she needs to be heavier because it'll help the lung development develop that much healthier. | ||
| Brian, your friend MC Chris also was involved in helping. | ||
| Yeah, I've been getting a lot of messages about me and this dude should link up somehow. | ||
| He's a great guy, and Brian just did a podcast with him. | ||
| Tell me, what did he say, Brian, about cystic fibrosis? | ||
| I know that he's... | ||
| He's amazing. | ||
| I believe it's his niece has it. | ||
| And so for the longest time he's been doing these shows and he's been doing eBay auctions and stuff. | ||
| And if you go to his website also, he has ways that you can help. | ||
| Help the cause. | ||
| And I asked him the other day how much he's raising. | ||
| I mean, he's just, you know, a white rapper, nerd rapper. | ||
| And he's almost, I think he said almost $100,000 he's raised. | ||
| Yeah, he said $98,000. | ||
| I listened to that part of your podcast. | ||
| And what was the name of that podcast again? | ||
| What do you call it? | ||
| We haven't made a name of it. | ||
| We're thinking Muff Said. | ||
| So how do people find it on Death Squad? | ||
| It's going to be released on Death Squad in the next couple days. | ||
| Oh, so you haven't even named it yet? | ||
| No, we were asking in the actual episode what we should name it, and there's a lot of weird things. | ||
| But what it is, it's comic books. | ||
| With me and Ryan Keely talking with comic books, we had a guy that worked at Marvel. | ||
| And Ryan Keely is a porn star. | ||
| Yeah, Penthouse Pet. | ||
| Did you know this? | ||
| The artist we had, he works on both Marvel and DC at the same time. | ||
| And he does like Conan and Batman. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| And stuff like that. | ||
| He's badass, but we're going to... | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| Shit, you caught me off. | ||
| I forgot Dan. | ||
| He does this thing called Drink and Draw, which is a new thing with... | ||
| Draw something. | ||
| It's a really popular app that's on the iPhone. | ||
| But he's been doing it at bars where you just go and you just hang out with a bunch of people and you all just get drunk and draw at the same time. | ||
| And now they have it citywide where these guys meet up and these artists, and they just sit there and meet each other and then they hang out and start drawing shit. | ||
| They draw on an iPhone? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| The iPhone's just an app to get them together? | ||
| No, no, but with the popularity of that, that's something that he's been doing. | ||
| What I was saying is that there's a popular app right now that you're pretty much playing win, lose, or draw with each other, and that's so big right now, but he's been doing it. | ||
| It's pretty lame, too. | ||
| Yeah, was that pretty lame? | ||
| Pretty lame. | ||
| It's so buggy, it doesn't seem like they're finished with it. | ||
| I'm still not sure. | ||
| It's like eight words on there. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| It's like eight words. | ||
| I'm confused. | ||
| So he's organized something where they get together and they draw? | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of cities that are doing this where you go to these bars and just hang. | ||
| His name's Dan. | ||
| He's Urban Barbarian at Twitter. | ||
| It's called Drink or Draw. | ||
| And it's just cool. | ||
| You just hang out and get drunk and meet people and you draw. | ||
| And sometimes you have little missions and stuff. | ||
| I'm not really sure how it works. | ||
| I haven't done it yet. | ||
| So everybody goes to a bar and they just bring paper? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they just start drawing? | ||
| Yeah, and they start drawing. | ||
| And it's really cool. | ||
| If you go to his Twitter page, he has a bunch of shit. | ||
| Like, here, let me show you something he's done. | ||
| Like a Batman drawing that he's done. | ||
| It's going to blow your mind. | ||
| It sounds like it would be hard to find so many people that are really into drawing to get together at a bar. | ||
| Are there that many people that good at it? | ||
| Yeah, drawing is hard, man. | ||
| Well, it's gotten so big that it's actually, you know, it's in multiple cities now. | ||
| It's actually catching on pretty big. | ||
| It's like cartooning karaoke or something. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| That's a really good way of putting it. | ||
| Here's his website. | ||
| Check out this drawing he just did the other day, a drinker draw of The Dark Knight, you know? | ||
| Yeah, that's some shit I did when I was 15. It's crazy shit. | ||
| I just do that kind of shit. | ||
| Yeah, imagine doing that, getting drunk. | ||
| Well, you're obviously not going to do it, but... | ||
| I would do it. | ||
| I still draw, dude. | ||
| I just draw a lot. | ||
| That's pretty good. | ||
| He's very good, obviously. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But no, I mean, if I was into comic book art, if I was really into drawing, it'd be a fun fucking thing to do, I'm sure. | ||
| I mean, a lot of people find going out and just hanging out with people... | ||
| That's pretty cool. | ||
| A lot of people find going out and going to bars, like, oftentimes, it's pretty fucking boring. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And this guy's a huge fan of the Joe Rogan podcast. | ||
| He was a big fan. | ||
| He was so happy to be here at the studio. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's cool, man. | |
| And he's a big MMA fan. | ||
| But we had him and MC Chris on the show. | ||
| It's going to be released next day or two. | ||
| And it's probably called something like The Warp Zone or Muffset or something. | ||
| Until your boy needs to get at me, too. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| What is that one image that you were just showing? | ||
| The one down? | ||
| Yeah, right there. | ||
| Right there? | ||
| Yeah, what is that? | ||
| This is... | ||
| It looks like, let's see... | ||
| Urban Barbarian. | ||
| He's got a liquor bottle that says Urban Barbarian. | ||
| That's his Twitter name. | ||
| He just tagged it. | ||
| If you go to his website, here's one he did of Mad Men. | ||
| He's done a lot of video game covers. | ||
| He's also done a lot of different random things, also like movie posters and shit like that. | ||
| He's talented as fuck. | ||
| I used to love comic books, man, but I've tried getting into them as an adult, and for whatever reason, I just can't. | ||
| Well, I tell you, the Walking Dead one's pretty fucking good. | ||
| That's what I hear. | ||
| I just, I don't know. | ||
| I can't get myself to the store to buy it. | ||
| You know what I did, though? | ||
| I did get an app on... | ||
| I wonder if I can get the Walking Dead on my iPad. | ||
| You can. | ||
| Can you? | ||
| That's how I read it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Motherfucker. | |
| Oh, by the way, I got the new iPad. | ||
| You're going to get me now. | ||
| Got the new iPad 3 over here. | ||
| Did you? | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| What are you doing with that? | ||
| You're fucking making a lot of sound there, fella. | ||
| Because I wanted the 4G hotspot. | ||
| And what's crazy is that I did a speed test on it, and it was actually faster than the $120 internet that I have here at the studio. | ||
| The speed was quicker on my iPad than it was with fucking charter business grades. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Who's your... | ||
| I got the Verizon... | ||
| iPad. | ||
| Yeah, the Verizon one. | ||
| So right now I'm on LTE Network is what it says on there. | ||
| And I have a digital hotspot. | ||
| And now I can have all my shit on that. | ||
| Of course, you're paying for the bandwidth. | ||
| So they don't have unlimited bandwidth. | ||
| Yeah, I have a card. | ||
| A Verizon card. | ||
| I did that on tour with the iPhone sometimes. | ||
| I would just make my own little hotspot. | ||
| They kill you after a couple days of that. | ||
| They start hollering messages at you like, you're going over. | ||
| It's amazing how little bandwidth you can actually use. | ||
| I got a 4G card. | ||
| I put it on my laptop. | ||
| I downloaded one movie and they said I'd use 75% of my bandwidth for the month. | ||
| Oh, so they send you messages. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See, yeah, the secret is just don't do videos. | ||
| But if you do anything else but videos, you should be fine. | ||
| You know, like even YouTube videos, just wait till you get home because you're going to just kill it. | ||
| I bet your upstream is not as good though, right? | ||
| My upstream was faster than the Charter here. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I have a screenshot of it right now. | ||
| I'll tweet it later. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you're really happy with that. | ||
| Yeah, it was cool. | ||
| The screen resolution, I didn't think I was going to notice a huge difference because this is the retina display and stuff like that. | ||
| It's totally noticeable. | ||
| When I hold up both my iPad 2 and the iPad 3 together, it's night and day difference. | ||
| So that was bigger than I thought it was. | ||
| Speed-wise, I don't really notice any kind of speed difference. | ||
| It's not overheating. | ||
| A lot of reports have been saying that the new iPad is overheating because it's got so many dual processors in the retina display. | ||
| Put it right over your dick and go scrolling. | ||
| That's what happens, right? | ||
| They get hot and kill your sperm. | ||
| You know, there's a big thing that a lot of people don't talk about is generic batteries exploding. | ||
| And I didn't know about this until I went on Amazon. | ||
| If you looked at some of the comments, if you buy a generic camera for a camcorder, these cheaply made batteries explode all the time. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Somebody even commented me at something I was talking about in the past. | ||
| Like, dude, don't buy the cheap version of this. | ||
| Look what happened to me. | ||
| And he showed his pictures of his bed where he was in his bed with his laptop and he had a generic battery in it and it blew up in his bed and it's just blackness all around his pillow. | ||
| And I'm like, holy shit, that actually happened to you? | ||
| And he goes, yeah, dude, don't buy that generic shit. | ||
| Yeah, they do blow up, man. | ||
| You'll hear about batteries blowing up. | ||
| It was actually a case for your iPhone. | ||
| I'm sorry, not a laptop. | ||
| It was one of those extended battery cases. | ||
| And I was going to buy the Mophie one. | ||
| But then I was like, well, I could save $50 if I buy this generic one. | ||
| He's like, don't buy that shit. | ||
| I actually was rocking that Mophie one for a while. | ||
| Mine broke. | ||
| I gotta send it back. | ||
| Did it really? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| Stopped working? | ||
| Just stopped working. | ||
| Did it drop it a few times? | ||
| No, never dropped it or anything. | ||
| But if you look at the comments, that's one of the biggest things for those Mophie cases. | ||
| It's like the thing breaks off where you have to charge it or stop working. | ||
| It's not that durable? | ||
| It's not that durable. | ||
| Have you seen that new phone? | ||
| It's called the Galaxy Note. | ||
| It's 5.3 inches. | ||
| It's like this fucking bit. | ||
| It's enormous. | ||
| It's a cross between a tablet and a phone. | ||
| They're coming in with another iPad, supposedly, that's going to be like that, like a smaller version, like a 7-inch version. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| But it's not a phone. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| This is a phone. | ||
| And this has a stylus, and you can write on photos. | ||
| You can write, like, I'm with Stupid, and put an arrow, and then put that shit up on Twitter. | ||
| I mean, you write on the photo. | ||
| You take a photo with it. | ||
| You can do that on the iPad. | ||
| I can do that on my iPhone. | ||
| You can? | ||
| You can write scripts. | ||
| Man, I'm a killer on the iPhone, dude. | ||
| How do you write with? | ||
| What do you write with? | ||
| You can use a lot of different programs. | ||
| The one I use on the iPad for doing that exact same thing is called Pen. | ||
| Hold on, let me look at it. | ||
| Do you use a stylus? | ||
| Do you use your finger? | ||
| I have a stylus, but I never use it. | ||
| Do you use your Coke fingernail? | ||
| It's called Penuel to Mate, or something like that. | ||
| And there's also one Color Box HD, which is my new favorite drawing. | ||
| Oh, so you can do the same thing, it just won't have... | ||
| Yeah, just take a photo or take it from your library, throw it on there, tweet it. | ||
| Some dude brought it to Louisville, and I swear, for two whole seconds, I really thought I was on acid. | ||
| The guy had this camera and he was coming at me with this phone. | ||
| And I'm like, that's not a tablet. | ||
| And that's not a camera. | ||
| And that's not a phone. | ||
| What the fuck is that? | ||
| Like, I really thought I was on acid. | ||
| The phone was so big. | ||
| I was like, this is beyond the looking glass. | ||
| I'm Alice in Wonderland. | ||
| You know, I'm like looking at a table that's the size of the moon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like... | |
| I was looking at this thing. | ||
| I was like, that can't be real. | ||
| I think the iPhone 5, when it gets announced probably in June or so, I think that's going to be something similar to that, where it's maybe not that big, but I really think that it's probably going to be from wall-to-wall screen, maybe a teeny bit bigger and skinny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| People like the size of this the way it is. | ||
| I mean, not a whole lot of people complain. | ||
| Except people that are really into media applications, and you can always get an Android, man. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I'll tell you, though, that new ice cream sandwich, the new operating system on Android, is pretty fucking dope, dude. | ||
| It's pretty wild. | ||
| There's more people using Androids now than they're even using iPhones. | ||
| But I think the app market's not as big, and the malware market is through the roof. | ||
| Way more fake shit and malware and viruses and nonsense for Android. | ||
| I have a buddy who posted something on Instagram because they apparently just let Android join Instagram. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And he posted a picture. | ||
| He's like, here's for all you Android users. | ||
| And it was a toilet with a bunch of gold fixtures. | ||
| That was pretty funny. | ||
| A toilet with a bunch of gold fixtures? | ||
| Yeah, here's a toilet with a bunch of gold fixtures for all you Android users. | ||
| I don't get it. | ||
| Android's a toilet with a bunch of gold fixtures. | ||
| Oh, I see what you're saying. | ||
| I thought it was funny. | ||
| I rock an iPhone because I like the lenses my buddy invented. | ||
| Oh yeah, show him this. | ||
| He was showing me this and I'm going to freak the fuck out. | ||
| I need to get one of these. | ||
| A friend of mine's father Apparently invented this thing called iPro Lens. | ||
| It's this case. | ||
| It starts with a case and has this like handle that you can kind of make into almost a Steadicam kind of thing. | ||
| What? | ||
| And you just screw on there. | ||
| But then there's a wide angle and a fisheye lens. | ||
| Built into the handle. | ||
| Built into the handle. | ||
| That is fucking crazy. | ||
| Take my word for it. | ||
| You just pull it off. | ||
| You snap it on. | ||
| And now you got a crazy fisheye lens. | ||
| Yeah, we were taking pictures earlier with it, and it's perfect. | ||
| The quality lenses, actually. | ||
| I always saw those, but anything would actually really... | ||
| Well, Be Real had one of those. | ||
| It's his buddy's dad. | ||
| It's both a mutual friend of ours. | ||
| But you got the deluxe model with the handle and shit. | ||
| His didn't have the handle. | ||
| He probably just doesn't use it. | ||
| I'm always on the camera running around doing stuff for Instagram. | ||
| You're addicted to Instagram, aren't you? | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I just signed up today. | ||
| Keeps me out of trouble, man. | ||
| Yeah, just today signed up. | ||
| Doing all kinds of edits. | ||
| OG Everlast on both Twitter and Instagram. | ||
| Come holler at me. | ||
| Joe Rogan Experience on Instagram as of today. | ||
| Here's the question. | ||
| Your picture, by the way, the first photo I ever uploaded on Instagram. | ||
| The one I took. | ||
| Today. | ||
| Oh, is that right? | ||
| In this studio. | ||
| Goddamn history. | ||
| Well, you need to attach my name to that. | ||
| I need to attach it. | ||
| OG Everlast. | ||
| I don't know how to use Instagram yet. | ||
| In the comments, just put at OG Everlast. | ||
| I'm a noob. | ||
| I just don't understand. | ||
| And then I'll follow you right back. | ||
| I think I did put that actually in the comments. | ||
| For Twitter? | ||
| Yeah, for Twitter. | ||
| Do I have to do it? | ||
| No, it'll show up on both. | ||
| Because my name's that on both. | ||
| Oh, there you go. | ||
| Well then, it happened. | ||
| It already went down. | ||
| Alright, you want to do one more song and we'll get the fuck out of here? | ||
| We can do one more song, man. | ||
| Let's do one more song. | ||
| I hope I'm, you know, if we ain't boring your people too much. | ||
| Please! | ||
| People love this shit. | ||
| A lot of positive feedback right now. | ||
| First, you know what? | ||
| You put that in the air and let me take a rag off of that motherfucker right there and I'm gonna make it happen. | ||
| I'm gonna go classic on you. | ||
| He is now eating sugar cookies. | ||
| Joey busted out a thing of sugar cookies. | ||
| Yeah, I'll have some sugar cookies. | ||
| Are we live here? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, we're live. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only OG Everlast. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| you fucking slobs, I'll hear you reply God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes Cause ain't really mindin' what it's like. | ||
| And ain't really mind what it's like | ||
| Mary got braided by a kid named Tom Told he was in love Said, don't worry about a thing, baby, darling, I ain't been dreaming of. | ||
| But three months later, she said one day to all return her call. | ||
| She swear, God damn him, I'll find that man cutting off his ball. | ||
| She's here for a clinic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She gets some static walking through the door. | |
| Yeah, they call her a killer. | ||
| They call her a sinner. | ||
| They call her a whore. | ||
| God forbid you ever had a wrong mile in his shoes. | ||
| Cause ain't really mindin' what it like to have to chew. | ||
| And ain't really mindin' what it's like. | ||
| I ain't really mindin' what it's like. | ||
| I ain't really mindin' what it's like. | ||
| I seen a rich man beg, I seen a good man sin, seen a tough man cry. | ||
| Seen a loser win, a sad man grin, heard an honest man lie. | ||
| Seen the good side of the bad, the damn side of everything between. | ||
| Licked a silver spoon, drank from the golden cup, smoked the finest green. | ||
| Stoked baddest dimes at least a couple of times for a broke day heart. | ||
| You know where it ends, usually depends on where you start. | ||
| There was a kid named Max, he used to get fast snacks on the corner with drugs. | ||
| He liked to hang out late, liked to get shit and face keeping pace with fun. | ||
| So late one night, there was a big gunfight and Max had lost his head. | ||
| He pulled out his chrome 45, talked some shit, wound up dead. | ||
| And now his wife and his kid had gone in the midst of all this pain. | ||
| You know, cover that witness. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what they say when you play the game. | |
| God forbid you ever had to walk up and hear that news. | ||
| Cause they ain't really mindin' what it's like to have those blues. | ||
| And they ain't really mindin' what it's like. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They ain't really mindin' what it's like. | |
| I ain't really mind what it's like. | ||
| And they really meant what it's like Powerful. | ||
| Everlast. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| That was awesome, man. | ||
| Thank you very much for coming out. | ||
| Anytime, dog. | ||
| I'll come back every week, dog. | ||
| This is too much fun. | ||
| Dude, you're the best, man. | ||
| Having you on is so much fun. | ||
| It's so cool. | ||
| Do you want to be roommates? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think he's got a bromance going. | |
| You know, we've got to do the bromance, dude. | ||
| Put the wings on it, though. | ||
| Put the wings on it. | ||
| Dude, we could totally do this way more often. | ||
| People love you. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| I'm so happy you're here. | ||
| A lot of love came through the podcast, man. | ||
| If you've got an extra buck, if you don't, it's all good. | ||
| Tell people how to do this again. | ||
| I don't know the link offhand, but I just hope that y'all will tweet it out again. | ||
| It's cff.org. | ||
| Great Strides is the name of the organization. | ||
| where the Schrody family team, you know, that's, that's, you know, you know, we were trying to get our team, obviously the donations, but even if, you know, if you just sent them a donation, that's fine too, but we got, you know, we're, This is a little walk we sponsor every year and we like doing it. | ||
| Like I said, I'm going to be hitting you up and a lot of other cats in the future. | ||
| We're going to try to put together some events and really do some... | ||
| I'll do anything. | ||
| Get this thing wiped out in the next five years and then we'll move on to the next thing. | ||
| And this is all, a lot of this is privately financed? | ||
| Yeah, there's no government funding whatsoever for it, man. | ||
| It's complete private donations. | ||
| And it's also ranked as one of the top charities in the world. | ||
| It's the high 80th percentile on how much of every dollar gets into the researchers' actual hands. | ||
| When you are so closely involved with something like this, does this drive you crazy when you see that Coney shit? | ||
| Like, you know, when you see that... | ||
| No, man. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Because, you know, I mean, it's... | ||
| It's not a horrible thing for everybody to jump on the bandwagon of. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| The fact that cystic fibrosis is such a rare, like, thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| It's like... | ||
| quote unquote carriers of this. | ||
| We had no idea because I've looked back through generations of my family and generations of hers and it has to be both. | ||
| It has to be both. | ||
| If there's one of us that didn't, it would, and you know, if I have more children, there's a one in four chance that that child will have cystic fibrosis. | ||
| So that's a whole other thing. | ||
| But it doesn't bother me. | ||
| I mean, there's room for everything. | ||
| Everything needs help. | ||
| I mean, honestly... | ||
| I meant the scandal involving the coins. | ||
| Oh, the dude? | ||
| The guy who ripped off a lot of people. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Apparently, a huge percentage of the money went to him and his organization. | ||
| Is that why they found him naked in the street? | ||
| He was crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Crazy. | ||
| That's a shame. | ||
| That's a shame. | ||
| That is a shame. | ||
| But my attitude in general is like, look, man, this is my priority. | ||
| I don't expect a guy out there who maybe... | ||
| He might be dealing with a child with... | ||
| Something else. | ||
| Cancer or Down Syndrome. | ||
| I expect them to... | ||
| I'm doing my part and I'm saying, hey, if you got an extra 50 cents and me singing five songs for you today maybe touched you a little something. | ||
| Just the other day from throwing it out on Twitter, a couple thousand dollars from complete strangers. | ||
| There was a lot of one dollars. | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| Don't think that doesn't make a difference. | ||
| That's appreciated. | ||
| I know how hard times are. | ||
| That one dollar, that means not even more. | ||
| There's people who get $500. | ||
| I was tripping. | ||
| I was like, these are strangers, man. | ||
| You know, and I even wrote on Twitter, the kindness of strangers is, you know, overwhelming. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| And it makes them feel so good, too. | ||
| People don't know if they've never donated something like that. | ||
| But if you really want to, this is something we could, I honestly believe in, and there's things going on right now. | ||
| out this thing can be it's a genetic disorder so technically you can't really all you can do is treat it but they can treat it to the point where it's nullified and that can happen in our lifetime and these kids won't be dying in their 30s and you know you know up until recently the the median lifespan is 35 wow Wow. | ||
| It's changing every day right now because the science every day is getting so much better. | ||
| So we don't know now because we haven't seen what these effects have had on these youngsters, man. | ||
| So, I mean, I guarantee you that the lifespans are really being increased daily. | ||
| But this thing could be like put to bed. | ||
| Honestly, within the next 10 years, if the right money and the right things are found. | ||
| It's one of them things, it's like such a complex genetic thing. | ||
| I'm not going to try and tell you details about it because I'll sound like a moron, but it's one of them things that attracts the most brilliant minds. | ||
| It's one of them puzzles that the most brilliant dudes want to figure out as far as in the medical fields. | ||
| You get the cream of the crop. | ||
| And like I said, cff.org is one of the organizations like 85% to 89% of every dollar is getting to the researchers. | ||
| It's not getting chopped up. | ||
| They're documented as one of the best charities in that sense. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| CFF.org, folks. | ||
| We're going to put this on Twitter, too. | ||
| There's walks all over the country, too. | ||
| You can start your own team and raise your own bread if anybody feels like doing it. | ||
| We're going to have concerts and we're going to do all kinds of things, but right now we're sponsoring this walk. | ||
| Okay, I'm in. | ||
| CFF.org, folks. | ||
| We're going to put it on Twitter, too, if you forget it from today, if you're listening. | ||
| We'll put a direct link to the Schroding family team so you can dedicate it in the name of Layla, our beautiful, healthy, so far, young daughter, and hope to keep her that way. | ||
| Yes, we'll throw that up on Twitter and we'll get as many people as we can. | ||
| And thanks for all the love, man. | ||
| Literally, last time I came on, I got more love. | ||
| I've done a lot of shows. | ||
| I've done a lot of things, dude. | ||
| I've never seen the reaction I saw for coming on this show. | ||
| There's a beautiful group of people out there, man. | ||
| A beautiful group of people that have tuned into this show. | ||
| I don't know how it all happened, but I feel very, very fortunate. | ||
| I think Brian feels the same. | ||
| It might have something to do with all those cookies. | ||
| Sugar cookies. | ||
| Sugar cookies. | ||
| The sugar cookies are a motherfucker, man. | ||
|
unidentified
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I'm telling you. | |
| We're trying real hard to tune into it. | ||
| We want everybody else to tune into it, too. | ||
| Together, I believe that we can truly be a better group of human beings. | ||
| All of us can. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| We inspire each other. | ||
| We push each other forward. | ||
| And if you get enough people that think a certain way, you don't lose hope. | ||
| You do know that there's people out there that got it wrong, but there's also people out there that got it right. | ||
| You could find them. | ||
| You could live your life like a goddamn episode of Nancy Grace and only look for the shittiest things every goddamn day. | ||
| You really freak yourself the fuck out. | ||
| And that's true and real. | ||
| Or you could live your life in a positive way. | ||
| We need to pull together a lot of money, man, and make a network and just have it be the good news network, man. | ||
| Yeah, no shit. | ||
| I bet you it would be a huge freaking success, man. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| We have 7 billion people on this planet. | ||
| We concentrate on the most horrific things every day. | ||
| And there's a lot of good news, man. | ||
| You wouldn't know it. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| Feel good news. | ||
| If you came home from the end of the day, wouldn't you just be glad to be like, let me just see some good shit happening in the world and turn that on and watch it for 45 minutes? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| We were constantly afraid of danger. | ||
| We have information that's coming to us from places where we'll never physically be, and yet we'll still worry about it. | ||
| And I bet you there's good news from those places, too, that we're not being told. | ||
| I bet, yeah. | ||
| Motherfuckers keeping us in the dark. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Hey, Joe, can I say real quick, me and Joey Diaz are doing a short little Midwest tour. | ||
| Yeah, when is that? | ||
| It's now on sale. | ||
| It's May 17th. | ||
| We'll be in Columbus, Ohio. | ||
| May 18th. | ||
| We'll be in Cleveland, Ohio. | ||
| May 19th. | ||
| We'll be in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. | ||
| Go to deathsquad.tv. | ||
| Right at the top, it says Death Squad Mini Tour for all the links, so the ticket's Me and Joey Diaz. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| This is your first time on the road with a comic like Joey, too. | ||
| Just you and Joey? | ||
| Just me and Joey. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| How much time are you going to do? | ||
|
unidentified
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Like 15, 20. And then Joey's going to just go off for an hour and a half? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Get Joey a lot of those little five-hour energy drinks. | ||
| He loves those. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Wow, that's going to be fun. | ||
| So what are the places? | ||
| It's on Death Squad TV? Yeah, Death Squad.TV. We're playing the Woodlands Tavern, the Grog Shop, and the Mullins in Pittsburgh. | ||
| Oh, so you're doing bars? | ||
| It's like Doug's stand-up style. | ||
| We're doing small music venues and stuff. | ||
| Man, that's bold stuff, dude. | ||
| That's brave stuff. | ||
| It's going to be fun. | ||
| You're going to have a good time. | ||
| Where was I? I was on tour, and we were somewhere, and we went to a restaurant, and it was like, you know, I had a half a bar. | ||
| We were in a really good restaurant, too. | ||
| I think it was in Chicago. | ||
| An Italian spot. | ||
| And like a comic just started. | ||
| Like I guess they were having a comedy night and there was a few comics there and it was just like got up in front of cats eating dinner and I don't even think people were expecting comics to be there. | ||
| Like maybe it was their girlfriend. | ||
| And they just went at it and I was just like man. | ||
| I don't think I could do that. | ||
| That's rough business, man, trying to get a laugh out of Cat's Nest. | ||
| It's got a mouth full of food and looking at you like, what the hell are you doing here? | ||
| I've done that shit. | ||
| I used to do a waiting room. | ||
| I did it only once. | ||
| The gig was canceled. | ||
| But it was a waiting room of a restaurant. | ||
| And this was the first day they were going to have it. | ||
| It was a huge restaurant. | ||
| And they had two big, gigantic places. | ||
| This is in Massachusetts, like down by the Cape. | ||
| They have these giant restaurants there, man. | ||
| Like preposterously big. | ||
| I did it again. | ||
|
unidentified
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Boom. | |
| Drink. | ||
| And in the middle of it, there was like a place where they would have a stage for a band. | ||
| So people would be like waiting. | ||
| Like, you know, waiting for the table to be called. | ||
| And you just go on stage out of nowhere. | ||
| I mean, I don't even remember if a DJ introduced me. | ||
| I don't know what happened. | ||
| And I'm, you know, telling these ridiculously fucking dirty jokes. | ||
| You know, to a bunch of strangers. | ||
| And right when you're about to hit the punchline, Johnson, table of three, your table's ready. | ||
| Can you come to the front? | ||
| It was on the same PA system. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| My PA system for telling jokes was on the same PA system as the table. | ||
| That was one of the most ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah, man, that's rough business. | ||
| Anybody who gets somewhere in comedy, man, I just like... | ||
| I think it's rougher than the fight game, man. | ||
| You gotta have a particular... | ||
| You've got to have a particular sickness. | ||
| Like a fight game, if you're really, truly talented, you might only have to fight two or three fights in some real shitty organization. | ||
| It's a comic. | ||
| You've probably got to early on do it. | ||
| Well, some guys will tell you you should never get out of shitty situations. | ||
| You should always stay in the muck. | ||
| Because if you ever get too soft and you only preach to the converted, and you don't go out and do some sleazy little place that only seats seven people. | ||
| I can dig it. | ||
| Yeah, there's a very real vibe that you get off a real small crowd. | ||
| It's a different vibe, especially a small crowd. | ||
| It's a totally different thing if I were to stroll into a bar and start playing songs. | ||
| It's not the same. | ||
| Even if it's total strangers, dead, like a dead call, just show up and do it. | ||
| It's a totally different beast. | ||
|
unidentified
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You could be in your head. | |
| People would be way more accepting of the music in the background and listening to you play and be like, oh. | ||
| Then you're engaging people as a comedian directly. | ||
| I want you to laugh at what I'm saying. | ||
| It's very arrogant too. | ||
| And most people, you see a person, they're on stage, and your first reaction is, why should you be the guy talking? | ||
| Who are you that I'm going to give up the position? | ||
| I'm going to sit back and just let you run my thoughts with your loud, amplified mouth. | ||
| It's offensive, especially when you're not very good at it. | ||
| And when you wanted to just go to a bar and have a drink and some fucking guy who's not very good is up there saying a bunch of shitty jokes, I mean, that's how we learn how to do it. | ||
| Still takes balls of steel, man. | ||
| Or you have to be a retard. | ||
| It doesn't matter how good you are, it takes balls of steel to try. | ||
| It's a fun gig. | ||
| Joey Diaz says it's the hardest, easiest thing you'll ever do. | ||
| That's the best way to describe it, I think. | ||
| If you get good at it, it becomes easy. | ||
| It becomes fun. | ||
| But it's hard to stay good. | ||
| It's hard to stay in that frequency, you know? | ||
| That's true of a lot of stuff. | ||
| Yeah, it is, right? | ||
| Creativity, right? | ||
| Yeah, if you don't keep it moving and flowing... | ||
| Yeah, I always feel like that. | ||
| If I take too long and don't write some music, it becomes very hard to kickstart it and get it going again to where it's going to be a level I'll be acceptable. | ||
| That's why I buy mannequins. | ||
| Yeah, that's how I do it, Brian. | ||
| Have you ever read The War of Art? | ||
| I don't think I have. | ||
| Great book about killing procrastination, about making you write, making you get shit done. | ||
| The War of Art sounds like something I'd like to read. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's small. | |
| It's a short book. | ||
| For people, even people that aren't artists, it'll get you motivated to just get shit done that you've been procrastinating. | ||
| The way the guy puts it, really, his name is Steven Pressfield, and he wrote a bunch of books. | ||
| He's a pretty famous author. | ||
| A lot of historical novels and stuff, I believe he's famous for. | ||
| But he's also famous for being really prolific. | ||
| And he's super honest in this book about how he was a fucking loser up until he was like 40 years old. | ||
| And he couldn't fucking get it together. | ||
| He couldn't just work. | ||
| He just kept failing and then finally figured out how to just become a professional. | ||
| How to really become a professional and fucking work. | ||
| And when he did that, everything changed. | ||
| Completely changed. | ||
| And he's like super honest about it and super honest about what holds you back, the resistance, he calls it resistance, like the lazy procrastination, all the self-destructive shit that people do to avoid doing things that they know they should do. | ||
| And the way he puts it is really quite brilliant. | ||
| And it's a very inspirational book. | ||
| Real small, too. | ||
| If you're not a big reader, The War of Art will get you because it's nice and small. | ||
| Thanks, everybody, man. | ||
| Thank you, Everlast. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| Come back again anytime. | ||
| I will. | ||
| Trust me. | ||
| We're going to have to do more of these, Brian. | ||
| Trust me. | ||
| I think we're going to have to move to at least three a week. | ||
| You need to do, like, you know, even, like I said, bring somebody in, too. | ||
| I'm going to meet some of these cats, man. | ||
| Some fans of some of these dudes. | ||
| Dude, you tell me anytime I got somebody that you want to come on, man. | ||
| You got a free ticket, always. | ||
| I got a few folks that want to come on too, but I'll tell you. | ||
| Oh, we're going to make some shit happen, folks. | ||
| We're going to make some shit happen. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| See? | ||
| You heard it all here, folks. | ||
| Thanks to everybody. | ||
| Thanks to the Fleshlight. | ||
| Go to JoeRogan.net. | ||
| Click on the link and enter in the code name ROGAN. Save yourself some money on your new jerk-off toy. | ||
| I use it. | ||
| It's fucking wonderful. | ||
| I support it. | ||
| My wife actually said, that sounds like something that's cool. | ||
| Like, if you're going to jerk off, jerk off into something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| I was like, you're crazy. | ||
| It's way better than regular masturbation. | ||
| It's a fucking solid product. | ||
| And it's the first one for men that supposedly was really good for a long time. | ||
| I think it was really hard. | ||
| All right, I got some questions. | ||
| Can I ask them real quick? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Do we have time? | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| Is it disposable? | ||
| Sure, yeah. | ||
| You're a guy that throws away jeans, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I'm saying it. | ||
| You sold how many million records? | ||
| Is it like one of these things you get a certain amount of uses out of? | ||
| You just clean it. | ||
| After a while, you kind of want to probably get a new one, though. | ||
| In my opinions. | ||
| Because, I mean, I fucked the shit out of him. | ||
| And after a while, I don't want to fuck him anymore. | ||
| Brian's a savage, though. | ||
| The way he fucks. | ||
| He shoves it in corners of couches and fucking assaults it. | ||
| He's an animal, man. | ||
| He fucks like a wild animal. | ||
| My shit has a lot of blood stains on it. | ||
| Yeah, you look at him, man. | ||
| He's very deceptive. | ||
| He's quite violent in sexuality. | ||
| I've been scared of him since I met him, man. | ||
| Thanks to Onnit.com. | ||
| You can make a microphone sound good, man. | ||
| I mean, I think it sounds really good. | ||
| And no training either, this fucking crazy bastard. | ||
| Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, makers of Alpha Brain, New Mood, Shroom Tech Sport, and Shroom Tech Immune. | ||
| Go check it out. | ||
| Go to Onnit.com, enter in the code name ROGAN, and you save yourself 10% off all orders, not just your first order. | ||
| All right, you dirty bitches. | ||
| We will be back at least once this week. | ||
| Most likely twice. | ||
| Jim Jeffries is going to be here on Friday. | ||
| And I think we're going to have one before Friday. | ||
| Probably Wednesday. | ||
| Maybe with me friend Dom Herrera. | ||
| If I can talk him into it. | ||
| One of my favorite old school comics. | ||
| And a great great friend of mine. | ||
| A brilliant comedian. | ||
| Dom Herrera. | ||
| Hopefully we'll get him on. | ||
| Alright you dirty freaks. | ||
| I'll see you soon. | ||
| We love you very much. | ||
| And you know. | ||
| The fucking drill. | ||
|
unidentified
|
See ya. |
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