Feb. 11, 2012 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:02:15
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Bonus podcast! | ||
| I don't even hear myself. | ||
| There we go. | ||
| Is that me? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Bonus podcast, you dirty little freaks. | ||
| The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by The Fleshlight. | ||
| If you go to JoeRogan.net and click on the link for The Fleshlight and enter in the code name ROGAN, you get 15% off the number one sex toy for men. | ||
| It's a fucking awesome product. | ||
| It's embarrassing. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| You'll feel bad once you actually come inside this thing. | ||
| It's not a proud moment. | ||
| It's not the peak of your existence. | ||
| But if you just look at it... | ||
| If you separate yourself and look at it objectively, all it is is a tool that allows you to masturbate more efficiently. | ||
| And I'm a firm believer that masturbation is a certain type of body maintenance. | ||
| I think it's necessary. | ||
| So this allows you to do that better. | ||
| Just clean it and just erase, erase bad memories. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Enter in the code name ROGAN. Get yourself 15% off. | ||
| And go fuck that thing. | ||
| And fleshlights don't fart. | ||
| They don't. | ||
| You got farting problems? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| But most girls, you know, do. | ||
| And you don't have to cuddle with them after. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I like cuddling. | ||
| I don't know about you, pal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
With your fleshlight? | |
| No. | ||
| I don't like that at all. | ||
| I'm still waiting for the disposable fleshlight. | ||
| That's going to be big. | ||
| Whenever they fucking have the balls to come out with that, I'm going to be... | ||
| See, people will wash it just like you used to wash condoms. | ||
| It's called a candle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| Just make it so cheap that it's for like $1.99... | ||
| It's not a bad idea. | ||
| If it could be like five bucks, it could be like a cheap date. | ||
| Yeah, just real quick. | ||
| I don't want to wash it. | ||
| I've tried it. | ||
| I tried the fleshlight before you even sponsored it. | ||
| Yeah, you told me. | ||
| Yeah, it's true. | ||
| You actually bought one because of a bad date, right? | ||
| I was on a bad date. | ||
| What girl came in to visit you? | ||
| I met this girl online, and this was back when I was a whore, back in the whore days. | ||
| She looked hot on MySpace. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| Flew her in, and I'm like, damn, she looks nothing like her MySpace. | ||
| That happens every now and then. | ||
| She was using some... | ||
| Them bitches should be working for Pixar. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Them bitches from MySpace. | ||
| Photoshop Masters. | ||
| When MySpace was big, if you didn't have a fucking background in being a hot bitch on MySpace, you're not going to get the job at fucking Disney or Pixar. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Those are the best. | ||
| That eight years of fucking MySpace. | ||
| Well, it's the first time we ever encountered someone able to completely lie about what they look like. | ||
| Damn, they were good. | ||
| Bitches got really good. | ||
| They didn't know shit about Word or anything, but they opened up that Photoshop. | ||
| You have to. | ||
| It's like you have to learn how to get your nails done. | ||
| You're going to have to learn how to Photoshop your photos. | ||
| A lot of girls actually became famous just through being a hot chick on MySpace. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| That actually became a move. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love it. | |
| My space. | ||
| So I fly this chick in and it was one of those where you fly them in for the weekend. | ||
| You know, I thought she was hot enough. | ||
| As soon as I picked her up the airport, I'm like, damn. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| She used the good pictures. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| Good from far, far from good. | ||
| And so she was all right. | ||
| So And she wasn't even, this bitch, I flew this bitch in and she wasn't even giving me any play. | ||
| She wasn't, no physical play. | ||
| Well, you were probably like, ugh, yeah, come on in. | ||
| So what's up, am I going to get to fuck you or what? | ||
| You know what, she was used to, she was used to that. | ||
| I'm sure I wasn't the first guy. | ||
| She's used to guys going, ugh, I got MySpace'd. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of girls who feel like once they give up the pussy, once they have sex with you, they've lost all their power. | ||
| Their whole power is in holding back something that you want. | ||
| After getting dogged like six times, they figure out, damn, this sucks. | ||
| Dude, it's all into her. | ||
| Dude, I'll buy you this. | ||
| I'm going to do this. | ||
| I'm putting up with all your shit. | ||
| I'm going to get that. | ||
| And then once you bust that nut and it's Friday night, you're like, damn, this bitch is going to stay here until Sunday. | ||
| And I'm done Friday. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And this bitch wasn't giving me any play at all. | ||
| This, again, this is back when I was a whore. | ||
| And I flew her in. | ||
| She's giving me no play. | ||
| So I decided to take her to the Hustler's store and have her, you know, you know, we ended up buying a fucking Fleshlight and, uh, Good story. | ||
| That's an awesome story. | ||
| I like how it ended with you staring off in the fucking distance. | ||
| Yeah, I didn't know where to go without one. | ||
| We're doing a podcast here, fella. | ||
| I didn't know where to go without one. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Joe, why did you step in? | ||
| I don't know what happened there. | ||
| I thought it was going to end it nice. | ||
| It was a dark weekend. | ||
| That was a dark weekend. | ||
| I was hoping it was a bunch of light jabs and there was a big right hand coming behind it all. | ||
| The JoeRogan.net experience, whatever the fuck you're on, is also brought to you by Onnit.com. | ||
| I'm not hearing well on this thing for some reason. | ||
| I tried to turn it up, but it's not working. | ||
| How do I turn it up? | ||
| Just follow the cable. | ||
| Yeah, I did, man. | ||
| It's not doing shit. | ||
| It's on full blast. | ||
| You don't have your mute on, maybe? | ||
| I don't have the mute on, man. | ||
| Unless it's this side. | ||
| The Alpha Brain Pills. | ||
| You can find it at JoeRogan.net. | ||
| I just changed it, but I think I made the input louder. | ||
| No, I can't do that. | ||
| You have that. | ||
| No, you can do the whole entire headphone unit. | ||
| Just headphones, but not input. | ||
| I can't change my input, right? | ||
| You can change the input of everybody else's headphones. | ||
| No, no, I don't mean input of the headphones. | ||
| I mean input of the microphone. | ||
| Okay, so it's louder, it's good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Then I did it. | ||
| All right. | ||
| But if you go to JoeRogan.net... | ||
| You know, go to Onnit.com. | ||
| O-N-N-I-T. Makers of Alpha Brain. | ||
| What's Alpha Brain? | ||
| It's a cognitive nutritional... | ||
| Whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| It's some brain pills that recently got reviewed in the Atlantic favorably. | ||
| They enjoyed them. | ||
| And they said that it, uh... | ||
| How dare you, Eddie Bravo. | ||
| Shut that shit off. | ||
| They said that they work great for when you haven't gotten enough sleep. | ||
| And that's what I found them for as well. | ||
| I love taking them when I'm jet lagged too. | ||
| What they are is a cognitive enhancing supplement. | ||
| A supplement that allows your brain to produce more neurotransmitters. | ||
| I don't understand the science behind it. | ||
| But I've read a lot of it, and I try to memorize it, but it really just goes in one ear and out the other. | ||
| But the bottom line is, we're funding university double-blind placebo tests on it from a prestigious university in Australia. | ||
| And we're trying to do it as scientifically as possible. | ||
| There's something to all this stuff. | ||
| There's something to nootropics. | ||
| You don't have to believe, but if you're interested in, Google the word nootropic. | ||
| Then, once you've done that, Explore all the options. | ||
| Before you even think about buying AlphaBrain, try all kinds of shit. | ||
| Buy it in bulk. | ||
| And if you want to take our ingredient list, just take it offline. | ||
| And if it's too expensive for you, this is the best way to do it. | ||
| Steal the ingredient list. | ||
| Copy it. | ||
| It's not stealing it. | ||
| Just copy it. | ||
| You have full right to. | ||
| It's online. | ||
| Copy it and mix it all up yourself. | ||
| You'll save some money. | ||
| I hope you do and I hope it works. | ||
| If you don't want to do that, we sell it. | ||
| If you buy it and you don't like it, you get, for the first order, first 30 pills, you get your money back. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| You don't even have to send the pills back. | ||
| We're trying to make it as easy as possible. | ||
| The last thing I want is anybody to feel ripped off. | ||
| But I use this shit, and I enjoy it, and I think it's fucking awesome. | ||
| I love nootropics. | ||
| I've been taking nootropics before I got involved with AlphaBrain. | ||
| I've taken a bunch of them. | ||
| They work. | ||
| There's vitamins that can enhance the way your mind operates. | ||
| You know, it's not great. | ||
| It's not significant. | ||
| It's not going to turn a moron into a genius. | ||
| But for me, it helps me run smoother. | ||
| But I believe in a lot of nutritional supplements. | ||
| I believe in fish oil. | ||
| I take a lot of probiotics. | ||
| I believe in a lot of things that I don't sell. | ||
| I think it's very important to take a lot of nutritious supplements. | ||
| What happened, Brian? | ||
| Our screen went bright. | ||
| This is scary. | ||
| Does the internet see something better? | ||
| Why are you scaring me with this big, bright UFO-type fucking shit by my head? | ||
| Anyway, we also make Shroom Tech Immune, which is an immunity supplement. | ||
| All this is explained on Onnit.com. | ||
| And like I said, first order, 100% money-back guarantee. | ||
| We used to have it for everything, but then some people went online and they sold it all on eBay. | ||
| They got their money back. | ||
| They hacked us. | ||
| So they win. | ||
| So now we changed it. | ||
| So that's it. | ||
| Go to Onnit.com. | ||
| O-N-N-I-T. Enter in the code name Rogan. | ||
| Oh, and by the way, it's only for your first order. | ||
| After that, you've got to pay full price. | ||
| The code name Rogan apparently is only good for one time. | ||
| I should probably try to have that changed, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I should, right? | ||
| Okay, I'll do that. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Good night. | ||
| Show's over. | ||
| Listen, Deadmau5 is here, you dirty bitches. | ||
| The internet has made something happen. | ||
| We've pulled together in less than 24 hours. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No other interaction with this young man, but the Internet demanded it. | |
| And now we're here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stupid cat, you're not a DJ. | |
| I'm watching his cat DJ video. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stupid cat, you're you're not a DJ. | |
| Stupid cat, you're you're not a DJ. | ||
| That's the Professor Meowingtons. | ||
| That's the actual video. | ||
| That's the way the video looks? | ||
| Is there a way that you can shut this music off where it doesn't do this for 10 minutes? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| That's my fade out. | ||
| This is terrible. | ||
| We gotta stop. | ||
| It's making me dizzy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For real. | |
| It's really obnoxious. | ||
| So was that the actual video? | ||
| The music video? | ||
| No, no, that was just some random bullshittery at the house. | ||
| Oh, so that wasn't the video, because I thought it was the video, and I thought that was fucking genius. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, wow. | |
| Man, to me, when I was looking at it, I thought this motherfucker had the balls. | ||
| He had such confidence in his goddamn music that the music video is going to be a fucking cat hits this electronically, and the song's coming out of it, and the cat's tripping out on this fucking song. | ||
| What was actually playing while that cat was doing that? | ||
| I don't think anything, actually. | ||
| Or maybe a random radio. | ||
| I can't really remember. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| To me, I thought that was a video, and I thought you were a genius. | ||
| Well, yes. | ||
| Yes, it is. | ||
| Welcome aboard, man. | ||
| I just want to say that I think this is one of the first times the internet has ever pulled people together this quickly, like within 24 hours. | ||
| That's the fucking horde for you. | ||
| That's how the horde was. | ||
| I just landed from Omaha. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's pretty badass, man. | ||
| I mean, how it happened. | ||
| I mean, I got, I don't know how many fucking retweets, but I get on my computer and I just see RT, Deadmau5, Deadmau5, Deadmau5. | ||
| I go, oh, what the fuck's going on here? | ||
| And then I click on one of them. | ||
| I'm like, oh, he wants to do a podcast. | ||
| Oh, fuck yeah. | ||
| So I, you know, do you back, and then all of a sudden Brian's on it, and Brian, you know, sorts the whole thing out. | ||
| Actually, there was about three months ago, I started watching, because he's been on... | ||
| You go on Ustream all the time, and just, like, pretty much, like, work. | ||
| You just talk to people and stuff, and I was in the chat room once going... | ||
| Please come on the Joe Rogan podcast. | ||
| Please come. | ||
| And the next thing I know, I started asking Twitter followers to help me. | ||
| So we'd just like attack your chat rooms. | ||
| Like, please come on. | ||
| How did you do that? | ||
| What got you in? | ||
| Did you get pestered by him? | ||
| What, like a hostile takeover? | ||
| No. | ||
| I mean, what got you intrigued to come here? | ||
| You've never listened to the podcast before. | ||
| Yeah, you're right. | ||
| I've actually never listened to it, but of course I know your work and I've seen you here and there and this and that. | ||
| And shit, you know, I'm like thinking, fuck man. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Because I've actually known that everyone's like, oh dude, get on the Joe Rogan thing. | ||
| Get on the Joe Rogan thing. | ||
| And I'm thinking, fuck. | ||
| Is this guy going to tear me a new asshole? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Why would I do that? | ||
| Dude, why do other people do other things? | ||
| There are people, man. | ||
| I've heard people on people's shows where someone will get hostile and it's real uncomfortable and it's fucking shitty. | ||
| And I've had that happen to me before. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It's where I was invited out to this radio show in Australia and they were like, oh, he's kind of a joker. | ||
| I'm like, dude, whatever. | ||
| I can fucking counter troll the troll. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whatever. | |
| No big deal. | ||
| You thought I'd get in there. | ||
| I thought it would be fun. | ||
| Funny. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's like a big piss take on everything. | ||
| But dude, the guy was like basically, hey, fuck you. | ||
| Well, what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| It's just like, you know, like in all this shit, like, oh, well, your music sucks, so... | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| And, hey, what the fuck is this rumor about you? | ||
| I'm like, dude, are we getting to a punchline with any of this shit? | ||
| And I ended up actually just... | ||
| Well, not getting like, ooh, I didn't rage quit, but I just went through it and went, yeah, great. | ||
| You're like, why am I doing this with you? | ||
| Thanks for the interview. | ||
| Why do people think that's okay to do? | ||
| Ratings. | ||
| Hey, I just... | ||
| Because they want that one little fucking snippet off you that they think is going to ruin your career, but it's actually going to just throw it overboard. | ||
| Those guys are dinosaurs. | ||
| Dinosaurs. | ||
| Those morons that are, like, making conflict up, they're dinosaurs. | ||
| Yeah, well, enough of those assholes, but I mean, I won't lie to you, you know what I mean? | ||
| A little bit of that fucking little shit was in the back of my head, so I'm like, nah, but you know what? | ||
| I'll tell you what it was. | ||
| I had a chat with Carson Daly the other day, and I said, hey, Joe Rogan, come on. | ||
| He's like, dude, do it, do it. | ||
| You'll have so much fun. | ||
| And I'm like, yeah, you know what? | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| Carson talked you into it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Beautiful. | ||
| I gotta give him a hug next time I see him. | ||
| He's supposed to come in here, right? | ||
| Yeah, he's gonna do it eventually. | ||
| We had to reschedule it, I think, to May, I think. | ||
| I forget when we rescheduled it to. | ||
| But, yeah, he's gonna come in and do the podcast and bring his show in here as well. | ||
| We're gonna do his whole show from here. | ||
| He's a good dude. | ||
| Yeah, he's really cool. | ||
| But, yeah, I mean, if I didn't know me, I might think I'd be a douchebag, too. | ||
| That's all right. | ||
| I look exactly like a douchebag should look. | ||
| What did you know exactly about Joe Rogan? | ||
| Huh? | ||
| What did you know exactly about Joe Rogan? | ||
| This is uncomfortable with me in the room. | ||
| Oh, this is gonna get fucking awkward. | ||
| Can I go masturbate in the corner instead of be here for this? | ||
| Are you a UFC fan? | ||
| To a degree. | ||
| I mean, I'm actually friends with Dana and Jamie. | ||
| Dana White and Jamie... | ||
| Jamie... | ||
| Fuck, I can never remember. | ||
| No worries. | ||
| You know him. | ||
| I know you know him. | ||
| Dude, what is that video game character on your neck? | ||
| Is that a Space Invader? | ||
| That is a Space Invader. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's fucking awesome. | |
| Everyone always asks me, hey, that's from that show. | ||
| But also, it's actually more... | ||
| The tattoo's from the street artist. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Invader. | ||
| And what he did, he went around England and did all these little tile sets all over these buildings. | ||
| Oh, like you replaced the tile with his own tiles that had a pattern in it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Enter through the gift shop, remember? | ||
| Oh, Banksy? | ||
| Yeah, he's in that movie. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| I never watched that movie. | ||
| Oh, it's one of the best movies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's amazing. | |
| Everybody tells me. | ||
| It's amazing, bro. | ||
| Yeah, it's one of those movies like I was saying last night about Restrepo. | ||
| Everybody tells me I have to see it. | ||
| I have it. | ||
| I have it. | ||
| It's sitting there on the shelf. | ||
| When I'm home, I'm like, let's see what South Park did this week. | ||
| I'm looking at the DVR. I always go to Silly. | ||
| I go to Anthony Bourdain or Fights. | ||
| That's all I really ever want to watch. | ||
| It's really hard to get me to watch a movie. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Anyway, I just thought it was a cool thing. | ||
| It was a cool thing how it all happened. | ||
| I was excited. | ||
| I'm glad we could soothe your fears of me being a cunt. | ||
| How many tattoos do you actually have? | ||
| Last time you were in LA, I think you got a tattoo. | ||
| You were young. | ||
| Miyamoto? | ||
| Miyamoto. | ||
| You were a youngish man. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| How old are you, brother? | ||
| I was 31. I just turned 31. 31. I was going to guess less than 30. I was going to guess 28. That'll do. | ||
| Yeah, you're all flooded up with tattoos on a young tip. | ||
| Yeah, I'm kind of poised to be the next illustrative man, I guess. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| What is the heart on the left elbow? | ||
| Oh, that's Legend of Zelda. | ||
| So let me ask you this, man. | ||
| You're a fucking huge electronic... | ||
| Creative music guy. | ||
| I had no idea how big you were, to be honest with you. | ||
| I had heard of you before. | ||
| I thought the logo was cool as fuck. | ||
| I'd seen some imagery and some electronic imagery of your mouse logo and shit. | ||
| I'm like, wow, there's something compelling about it. | ||
| It's like an evil, twisted, psychedelic Mickey Mouse type thing. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Whatever it was. | ||
| Then I started looking into it and I read something. | ||
| You guys were at the fucking Rogers Center? | ||
| You guys did the Rogers Center? | ||
| Yeah, that was fucked up. | ||
| And I'm like, oh my god, because we did the UFC there, and it was the biggest UFC ever. | ||
| It was 60,000 people. | ||
| I'm like, you're rocking out to 60,000 fucking people. | ||
| Well, we did 20, because we just had the floor and some of the seats, but to see that place filled with 60 must be fucking insane. | ||
| I've never seen it with 60. You know, that place is so big, you know the whole deal, how it works, but for people who don't know at home, there's a hotel inside the arena, and the windows face where they play baseball. | ||
| Like, it's so fucking big, and this is all indoors. | ||
| You know, because Canada gets cold as fuck in the winter. | ||
| And so, it's so big that you can play baseball. | ||
| Guys like Jose Canseco can hit home runs inside this fucking place. | ||
| And still have room to spare. | ||
| And still not hit the hotel. | ||
| I mean, it's insanity. | ||
| It's one of the most amazing constructions I've ever been inside of. | ||
| It's also the most insanely fucking impossible to rig, too. | ||
| Because of the way that that dome is, the retracting dome part... | ||
| Those rigging points. | ||
| So if they wanted to get... | ||
| I didn't see the UFC show there, but if they wanted lights on top of the ring, well, they can't just float out of nowhere. | ||
| They have to be rigged. | ||
| All the way the fuck up to the top of that thing. | ||
| All the fucking way to the top. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| They had to do it with ours, because we had a big spider truss going across the whole thing. | ||
| That was only maybe about 30 feet up from the floor, but less, 200 feet from the ceiling. | ||
| So it's just like this fucked up rigging. | ||
| Yeah, that's a big thing with traveling artists, right? | ||
| Like the sets that you guys bring, that's like a big thing, right? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Like U2 apparently has some monstrous, giganto set that takes like a whole crew of a hundred people. | ||
| Well, those are different. | ||
| Actually, as part of their fucking deal is they permanently build those structures. | ||
| Like they literally lay cement and then build. | ||
| Fucking buildings. | ||
| So when they get to each arena, they do this? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But they've only done it like... | ||
| They have different versions of it that they can scale down or scale up. | ||
| So when they do do it at the Rogers Center, it's like a kind of cheaper version of it, but looks the same kind of thing. | ||
| But they had some in Europe that they actually had to permanently build a structure for it. | ||
| And the structure's still fucking there, and they're trying to sell them. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| Yeah, it's all part of the thing. | ||
| But it's fucking crazy. | ||
| I don't think I'll ever go that way. | ||
| How did you get to be this guy? | ||
| What separated you from the pack? | ||
| I mean, so many people making music electronically. | ||
| You know, it's such a popular genre now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you start off as a DJ? No, no, I've never spun a fucking record in my life. | |
| As a matter of fact, you actually don't like being called a DJ mixer. | ||
| You don't like that phrase? | ||
| How can I say I don't like it? | ||
| It's so generalized that you kind of have to welcome it. | ||
| It's like, you know, I'm not a comedian. | ||
| I'm a fucking laugh technician. | ||
| Right, right, right, right, right. | ||
| What would you call yourself? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| A musician. | ||
| A musician. | ||
| Artist. | ||
| Producer. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| Eddie is, besides being a jiu-jitsu master, he is. | ||
| He's a jiu-jitsu master. | ||
| That's what he does. | ||
| No shit. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It sounded hilarious, but no, he's like one of the top jiu-jitsu instructors in the world. | ||
| All right, I'll keep my eye on it. | ||
| He's a famous martial artist. | ||
| Yeah, for real. | ||
| I mean, he doesn't look like he's a famous martial artist. | ||
| But besides that, he makes a lot of music. | ||
| He makes a lot of electronic music and shit like that. | ||
| So I know... | ||
| So do you get, like, hey, you're that karate guy. | ||
| I'm a musician first. | ||
| I started jiu-jitsu when I was 24. I've been producing music since I was 10. I got into jiu-jitsu just to stay in shape, and the jiu-jitsu blew up. | ||
| But I'm like, I'm a fucking musician. | ||
| I'm a music producer. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| That's what I do. | ||
| And the jiu-jitsu was a total hobby on the side, and that blew up, so... | ||
| So now, over the last five years, I'm trying to prove to all the people that know me through jiu-jitsu. | ||
| They think, oh, he's trying to do music. | ||
| They never took my music seriously. | ||
| Dude, I know people like that around the block. | ||
| Well, there's always going to be haters in every... | ||
| Well, it took... | ||
| I understand it because no one ever in athletics has ever made it in music. | ||
| So they're looking at me as like some famous athlete who's trying to make it in music. | ||
| I'm like, dude, I've been... | ||
| The musician the whole time, the jiu-jitsu was... | ||
| Brand new and it was part-time. | ||
| So it's like a weird thing. | ||
| What about the Super Bowl shuffle? | ||
| Are you ignoring the Super Bowl shuffle? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is that? | |
| When you say no famous athletes have ever made it in music? | ||
| What's the Super Bowl shuffle? | ||
| You don't remember? | ||
| It sounds so fucking awesome. | ||
| Chicago Bears, the Super Bowl shuffle. | ||
| Refrigerator Perry. | ||
| There's only a couple. | ||
| Shaq did an album. | ||
| Yeah, Shaq did great. | ||
| I thought his album was excellent. | ||
| Kobe Bryant, I think, did an R&B record. | ||
| No, he didn't. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He did. | |
| Kobe Bryant did not do an R&B record. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes, he did. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I would love to listen to that just for the fucking pure comedy of it. | ||
| I could be wrong, but I'm 90% right. | ||
| Yo, see if you can find Kobe Bryant. | ||
| Please Google that. | ||
| I need to know that this is real. | ||
| I need to have the Kobe Bryant R&B record. | ||
| There's never been a professional, famous athlete who has made it in music. | ||
| There's never been. | ||
| It's just the world won't give you both. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| I've been a musician my whole life, and I'm not an athlete. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I'm not an athlete. | ||
| The world says fuck you. | ||
| We don't care. | ||
| We're only going to give you one. | ||
| How did you get through? | ||
| Take us through. | ||
| What did you do? | ||
| I guess the way it kind of looks over the last five years is you get a lot of people thinking this is some culminated overnight bullshit story that's happened over the last three. | ||
| In my mind, and I know because I've grown up with it, it's a culmination of 10 years of just wanting to do something, have some predefined bullshit goals, and then work towards it. | ||
| Because I really got interested in computer music when I was about You know, 16, 17, and it was at such a time in the world where computer music wasn't really feasible. | ||
| It was like... | ||
| You know Russell Peters, the comedian? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's Canadian. | ||
| He loves you. | ||
| Yeah, we all know. | ||
| He's on his way down. | ||
| Oh, is he really? | ||
| Yeah, he's coming because he wants to meet you. | ||
| I met him. | ||
| Well, he wants to hang out with you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, okay. | |
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Can I tell my story of how I actually met Deadmau5 at a show you did? | ||
| What do you prefer? | ||
| Do you prefer your actual name? | ||
| Well, if we start fucking saying dead, there's going to be another death rumor. | ||
| I've had three in the last four months. | ||
| Can you hear about Whitney Houston today, man? | ||
| What? | ||
| Can you hear about Whitney Houston today? | ||
| Yeah, you know what? | ||
| I just heard about it about like three hours ago. | ||
| Was it coke related? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| You know, who knows? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| But she's 48 years old. | ||
| You gotta wonder, you know, what happened. | ||
| It's fairly young to just be dying. | ||
| It's very sad, man. | ||
| If it is a cocaine thing, if all the rumors are true, obviously, I'm never hanging out with her. | ||
| I don't know if she's really doing coke or was doing coke. | ||
| Joey Diaz told us those great stories. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I tweeted that today and people got mad at me because I tweeted that story. | ||
| It's a great story. | ||
| I'm kind of hoping... | ||
| She was an amazing artist, but, you know... | ||
| So were you into Depeche Mode? | ||
| Yeah, like Tears for Fears. | ||
| That was like the closest thing to electronic music that I liked growing up. | ||
| Depeche has always been... | ||
| That's my soul, is Depeche Mode. | ||
| What were you saying about Whitney Houston? | ||
| You were kind of hoping what? | ||
| Well, I mean, I'm just kind of like morbidly hoping it's not too drug-related or drug-related for that matter, too. | ||
| And I'm saying it's like, she's dead. | ||
| It's a shitty fucking thing. | ||
| But it would just be an extra shame if it was all... | ||
| Well, the only thing that would help, if anything, is that maybe it might influence some people to avoid those particular drugs. | ||
| There's no happy ending coke stories. | ||
| It wasn't until I started doing coke that I really got my shit together. | ||
| We always talk about weed. | ||
| Eddie, you and I in particular, we're always so positive about weed. | ||
| You don't have to use hand signals, man. | ||
| You want another Corona? | ||
| Yeah, hey, someone, can I have another Corona? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, Brian. | |
| Can I send you a beer run or send homegirl? | ||
| I don't want to interrupt the talking people. | ||
| Hey, homegirl, come here. | ||
| Hey, Penhouse Pet of the Year. | ||
| That's how strong this place is. | ||
| Penhouse Pet of the Year. | ||
| You just got awarded. | ||
| I'll give you that award. | ||
| Here, I'll have her work. | ||
| Here, give this to the bartender. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Yeah, and just go get a bunch of beers. | ||
| That's exactly what I was thinking, too. | ||
| I was totally thinking. | ||
| Right before you said, I'm like, there's no beer. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| We can't go to the bar. | ||
| So it's the rest of the show with no more beer. | ||
| That's going to get boring. | ||
| You know why he was thinking that? | ||
| Because the Indian's out right now. | ||
| Well, the Indians won't come out in less than three Coronas. | ||
| The Indians won't come out tonight. | ||
| No. | ||
| I'd have to have like four or five shots. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Dude, the Indians are already out. | ||
| I got news for you. | ||
| The Indians here right now. | ||
| He's here right now, bro. | ||
| He's sharpening his tomahawk with a file. | ||
| Are we on the air? | ||
| No, definitely not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are we taking a break? | |
| No, we're on the air, man. | ||
| Oh, shit, okay. | ||
| Yeah, we're not going anywhere. | ||
| So bring us back to it. | ||
| Tears for Fears. | ||
| Yeah, oh, yeah. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| My dad, I kind of owe it to Columbia House. | ||
| Thank God they're not fucking around too much these days because they'd be the first on dibs. | ||
| But with the whole Columbia House deal, as you know, my dad got this new Luxman CD player. | ||
| Cutting-edge fucking technology at the time. | ||
| And he bought into that... | ||
| You know, get X CDs for a penny shit thing. | ||
| You remember that? | ||
| Yeah, I remember that. | ||
| Dude, I did that a lot. | ||
| I did that shit a lot. | ||
| How did they ever make any money? | ||
| Exactly, right? | ||
| Well, they must have made at least fucking 100 cents. | ||
| Something must have happened. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A lot of pennies. | |
| Damn, I totally forgot about that. | ||
| Yeah, I forgot about that too. | ||
| Dude, I did it twice with cassettes. | ||
| 11 CDs for a penny. | ||
| I don't think I ever got to the CDs. | ||
| You gotta buy one a year or something. | ||
| Something ridiculous like that. | ||
| And they send them to you and you ignore them. | ||
| If you don't send them back, you owe them money or something like that. | ||
| That actually was part of it. | ||
| That's how they afford it. | ||
| Shit was completely ridiculous. | ||
| You just put your fake names. | ||
| You just put any name. | ||
| Your address, any name. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's not me. | |
| Do you remember that? | ||
| What a preposterous marketing strategy. | ||
| We're gonna get you 100 fucking CDs for 99 cents. | ||
| How do you split that with the bands? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck! | |
| Holy shit! | ||
| They're already getting nothing. | ||
| Yeah, what was it? | ||
| Just like extra stock? | ||
| I mean, what was that? | ||
| More foreigner albums were distributed that way than anything. | ||
| Dude, Foreigner and Journey. | ||
| Those fucking Journey cassettes just flew out the door. | ||
| That was the first thing that people picked on the list. | ||
| Dude, I was working at a record store right when CDs were coming in and cassettes were going down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We still had records, but cassettes were the bomb. | |
| Cassettes were everything. | ||
| Did you get Heineken's? | ||
| Or did you just get all this gay Mexican beer? | ||
| I'll have a Corona. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's cool. | |
| That's a lot of Coronas. | ||
| Coronas are cool. | ||
| Thank you, sir. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| So anyway, so you started creating music, and how did you get, I mean, you obviously, there's been some sort of a massive leap somewhere along the line that you've gotten to be this guy who could fucking sell the Rogers Center. | ||
| I mean, that's incredible, man. | ||
| It took a while. | ||
| You know, it took like, you know, four years. | ||
| That's insane! | ||
| Four years! | ||
| I know, I know, it's fucking crazy. | ||
| How did that happen, man? | ||
|
unidentified
|
How did it happen? | |
| Don't you ever fucking say that's a while, man. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| You know how many people are screaming at their computer right now? | ||
| A while! | ||
| To go from four years of creating music to all of a sudden be selling out the Rogers Center, that's amazing. | ||
| Yeah, that is really cool. | ||
| That's staggering, dude. | ||
| Well, you know, it's just, I guess I'm super lucky to be in this climate of the development of... | ||
| What I'm trying to get at is how do you think you hit this resonance? | ||
| I mean, what you're doing is really funky, electronic shit, but you obviously have hit a resonance that people are really drawn to. | ||
| It's not simply, you know, you've been in the business, you got lucky, you stumbled in. | ||
| No, there's people that love the sounds you're creating. | ||
| Yeah, okay. | ||
| I mean, there's definitely a music element in that, of course. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No doubt. | ||
| Since I was eight, my parents put me in piano boot camp after school, so between the hours of three and when they got off of work, I was classically trained the whole time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Okay. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| That's making sense now. | ||
| But I forgot all that shit when I was 16, because then computers kind of came out, and I'm like, well, fuck a piano. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But fuck me, did that ever come in handy later? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sure. | |
| Are you kidding? | ||
| Work out melodies, counter melodies, all that stuff requires a certain amount of intelligence. | ||
| It's not just random notes. | ||
| That mouse head is a good move too, dude. | ||
| I'll tell you what, listening to you because of the mouse head makes me feel cooler. | ||
| When I was watching some YouTube clips, and you were on stage, and you had the mouse head on, and you were rocking out, and the crowd was rocking out, and I was like, there's something dope about that. | ||
| There's something, I like the fact that this fucking guy is wearing a crazy giant mouse head. | ||
| He was actually a big influence on my idea for the logo, because I've always recognized him as his mouse head, and so then I was like, dude, you are a master almost of marketing, because you know the idea of the mouse. | ||
| I did do a lot of that. | ||
| How does Disney not sue the dick off you? | ||
| Well, no, me and Disney are cool now. | ||
| You're cool now? | ||
| Yeah, actually. | ||
| It was really funny. | ||
| We had to play a show in Anaheim once at the thing, and they were like, dude, Disney called, and they want you to come play it. | ||
| Dude, I'm thinking I'm going to be led into this fucking darkroom, and Mickey and Goofy are going to come out with some fucking bastards beating the shit out of me. | ||
| Come here, Joel. | ||
| What the fuck do you think you're up to? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck? | |
| So Disney has never had an issue with it at all? | ||
| No, we're totally cool. | ||
| Because it is a different shape. | ||
| It is a different shape. | ||
| But it is a mouse. | ||
| They're not really... | ||
| Well, I guess there are sections of them that are in the music business and stuff like that, but it's so distinguishable between the two identities that they're just like, yeah, that's cool. | ||
| But I'm wondering at the same time too because when I did file for design patents on my logo and stuff like that, it's like one of the first things I had to do was go to different countries and apply for logo copyrights and stuff like that. | ||
| Now Disney must have a crack fucking team of experts, of people doing this shit. | ||
| Because I'll tell you, I used to work for a software company in Belgium that used to have a studio software and it was called Fruity Loops. | ||
| One of my favorites. | ||
| Kellogg's put a fucking cease and desist on the name. | ||
| And dude, we're talking serial and music application. | ||
| Nothing to do with each other. | ||
| But for whatever reason, they gave in to the machine and said, we're going to have to rename this. | ||
| But everyone still calls it... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But if they own the name, they don't want you using it for anything. | ||
| I can understand that. | ||
| Well, true. | ||
| Like mouse. | ||
| Danger mouse. | ||
| Dead mouse. | ||
| Fucking mighty mouse. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I'm sure everyone's been through it. | ||
| But you can't own an animal. | ||
| You don't get to, I'm lying. | ||
| I'm the only lying. | ||
| You know, you don't get to own that. | ||
| That's silly. | ||
| True, but the similarities of the, you know, the circle and the thing, you know, I thought that was a little close, so I kind of thought that maybe someone was asleep at the wheel, you know, when that had gone through, because basically one day it was a call from my lawyer saying, dude, you got the patent, you're good. | ||
| So you're virtually untouchable right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what? | |
| I think Disney, they're so baller, they don't give a fuck. | ||
| Disney, they're just, the executives are sitting around in gold underwear, laying on stacks of cash. | ||
| Let that bitch have his fucking logo. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| Who gives a shit? | ||
| Certain departments of Disney are suing other departments of Disney. | ||
| For real? | ||
| Well, I'm sure. | ||
| Do you know this for a fact? | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| We should be really careful about that. | ||
| I'm sure it happens, you know what I mean? | ||
| Probably doesn't happen. | ||
| I'm going to go out on a limb and say it doesn't happen. | ||
| Disney was actually where I got my very first development deal. | ||
| I did a sitcom for Disney in 1994. Oh, and then I'll just shut the fuck up then. | ||
| They were very nice. | ||
| And I was a dirty comedian, man. | ||
| I was a fucking terrible, dirty comedian. | ||
| And they gave me a development deal. | ||
| They were pretty cool. | ||
| They're a lot more open-minded than you would think. | ||
| They're essentially just an entertainment company. | ||
| But the name Disney, you automatically associate everything with super family values type shit. | ||
| Everyone I was up to. | ||
| Jonas Brothers and all that. | ||
| That's just smart business. | ||
| There's a lot of money in that babysitting money. | ||
| It's a fucking lot of money, man. | ||
| It's out there. | ||
| Like Bill Hicks used to talk about. | ||
| Remember when Tiffany and Debbie Gibson were all the shit? | ||
| That's when Bill Hicks was alive. | ||
| And he used to have all these jokes about Tiffany and Debbie Gibson and how ridiculous it was. | ||
| But the bottom line is somebody likes that, man. | ||
| Somebody likes that. | ||
| There's babysitting money out there. | ||
| When you met Miyamoto, one, where did you meet him? | ||
| I think I was the only guy that was able to spot him out as he walked by. | ||
| Is that the game designer that we're talking about? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Creators, Super Mario Brothers, all that stuff. | ||
| Where were you? | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| Baseline! | ||
| Baseline! | ||
| Where were you at when that happened? | ||
| I was actually in my trailer. | ||
| He was not to be announced. | ||
| Is his last name Miyamoto? | ||
| Miyamoto. | ||
| His last name. | ||
| Yeah, Shigeru. | ||
| In Japanese, if your name was like Miyamoto Musashi, if that was your name, you would say Musashi Miyamoto, right? | ||
| I believe so. | ||
| What's going on there, Brian? | ||
| Being assaulted? | ||
| Your mic is totally dead. | ||
| Oh, there you go. | ||
| So he has another name. | ||
| Is that Misashi his last name? | ||
| Miyamoto's his last name. | ||
| Shigeru is his first name. | ||
| Oh, Miyamoto Shigeru. | ||
| Because you even in your live shows, you incorporate like your logo inside like video games and stuff like on your LED wall, right? | ||
| I've seen that before. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Did he know who you were? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know, but he's very Japanese. | ||
| He had a translator with him and all that. | ||
| So it was actually kind of funny when I talked to him. | ||
| Obviously, I told him I was a big fan. | ||
| He's like, oh, okay. | ||
| And then, you know, I've got this ghost boo tattoo on him. | ||
| Did he sign your arm? | ||
| Yeah, he did. | ||
| Oh, that's badass. | ||
| So he signed my arm and I immediately called up PeeWee on Sunset. | ||
| And I'm like, bro, I gotta tattoo this. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen a few people have other people's names tattooed on their arms. | ||
| Mark Maron recently did that. | ||
| Some guy had Mark sign his arm that he had tattooed on. | ||
| That's got to be a trip. | ||
| Well, I've done that for a lot of fans, too. | ||
| It only seems right, you know what I mean? | ||
| Because you're thinking for a while, like, man, this kid's crazy. | ||
| And you're like, he's like, sign my arm, sign my arm. | ||
| I'm going to get this tattooed. | ||
| And I sign his arm. | ||
| And lo and behold, I see him at a future gig. | ||
| He's like, dude, remember you sign my arm? | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| I'm like, dude, that is nuts. | ||
| It happens with Kiss a lot. | ||
| I have a t-shirt. | ||
| I have a t-shirt company. | ||
| It's called Higher Primate. | ||
| It's one of them that I'm wearing. | ||
| It's all mostly just monkeys and weed and monkeys and psychedelics, monkeys and DMT, monkeys and mushrooms. | ||
| But a lot of people have taken the images and turned them into tattoos. | ||
| And it's crazy. | ||
| I've collected a bunch of images, but it's really a trip to me. | ||
| They're like... | ||
| These teachers that I'm selling, like one dude has the whole back of his neck is this psychedelic monkey, a monkey in the lotus position, his third eyes glowing, and it's like, it's pretty fucking badass. | ||
| He's sitting on the DMT molecule inside of a lotus flower. | ||
| This guy's got it tattooed on his neck. | ||
| I'm like, this is kind of crazy. | ||
| And that thing, the Brian's logo, the Death Squad logo, but it's actually changed. | ||
| The new one is different. | ||
| So, unfortunately, for all those people that got that one... | ||
| He was telling me about this on the way in. | ||
| He changed it. | ||
| I don't like that you changed it. | ||
| The new one sucks. | ||
| I'm going to be honest with you. | ||
| This one's the shit. | ||
| Whatever, you don't like the Hitler one. | ||
| I don't like the mustache. | ||
| I mean, the chaplain. | ||
| I don't like his chaplain, but I do like the fact that he's strapped together with dynamite. | ||
| The new guy, it's like he's a bunny from another planet. | ||
| Yeah, he's a robot. | ||
| Don't make fun of bunnies, please. | ||
| I love bunnies. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're delicious. | ||
| You must have... | ||
| Don't even fuck you up. | ||
| Indian will fuck you up. | ||
| You were saying that millions of people have your tattoo. | ||
| Millions? | ||
| I even thought about... | ||
| There has to be a lot. | ||
| Definitely in the hundreds of thousands. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Hundreds of thousands. | ||
| I've actually even thought about getting your local online. | ||
| I have the first one. | ||
| Why don't you get it? | ||
| This is the first one. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| And what is on the right-hand side of the mouse? | ||
| Actually, I'll tell you a funny story. | ||
| It's a UPC barcode because I was working with a software company at the time and they did a barcode measurement system kind of thing and I thought, wow, I wonder if you could actually scan a barcode that if it was like tattooed on you and then it didn't work. | ||
| Myth fucking busted. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| You started off doing web design, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I also did, and I hated it. | ||
| Did you enjoy it? | ||
| Well, I enjoyed it when it was cool and fun, and I had a really client, and he's like, yeah, that's rad. | ||
| But I hated it when, hey, it's a little too blue. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe we can add some green. | ||
| What do you mean by blue? | ||
| It's like, dude, well, I'm the fucking designer. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So how about I design the fucking thing? | ||
| Well, if you got all the ideas in your head and you know how to do it, then what the fuck do you need me for? | ||
| Take my money. | ||
| If you had a client and the client came to you and said, hey, we have our dairy farm. | ||
| We're trying to build a website. | ||
| You're like, all right, I'm going to do it my way, bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well... | |
| My way in what I would think is kind of cool. | ||
| You work with a customer to agree, but some of the customers are just like, some of the clients are just like, dude, you're doing this wrong. | ||
| And I think that, you know, the balance of the way that this loads is going to be. | ||
| Yeah, I understand what you're saying. | ||
| Then why don't you do it? | ||
| Yeah, you have to have a certain amount of artistic license to do anything. | ||
| Of course you only think that. | ||
| You don't actually go to them. | ||
| But that's also one of the reasons why you're probably so great at your music is that you have a very specific vision and you're really enchanted by that vision. | ||
| You want to follow it. | ||
| Well that's the fun thing about being a producer of electronic music because electronic music has had this stigma for a good decade and a half of basically people taking other people's music. | ||
| And then, you know, working in all these justifications as to why it's an art form, okay, yes, turntablism in itself, definitely a fucking art form, you know, it's like, look at the fucking Q-Berts, you know, and all that shit, just going fucking crazy with that, that's fine, but... | ||
| I always say, can you do it? | ||
| Can I do it? | ||
| I can't do it. | ||
| Well, there's gotta be an art form. | ||
| No, yeah. | ||
| It's gotta be. | ||
| You can't tell me that there's not a... | ||
| I think carpentry's an art form. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| It absolutely is. | ||
| Everything is, you know. | ||
| Sure, everything with focus and intent, and you use your creativity... | ||
| But, you know, since, you know, the term DJ, you know, was coined and then people started getting like kind of lazy with it to the point, well, with electronic music to where you could just play the hit big track and then just fade out that last 30 seconds and then fade in the first 30 seconds of the other one. | ||
| Now that's... | ||
| To me, that's not very artful. | ||
| And it's not you. | ||
| And you're not adding any unique element into it. | ||
| So to have the kind of control where you're making the music that allows you to do that and in different ways, you know what I mean? | ||
| That's what makes it special and unique to that one guy as opposed to unique to that one group of fucking guys. | ||
| And it was getting really stagnant. | ||
| And there was DJ this, DJ that, DJ this, DJ that. | ||
| When it was all down to the playlist at the end of the day and none of those guys had any of their own shit in there that made it unique to them. | ||
| It's just like... | ||
| I think that's just a part of the natural evolution of music and that sort of had to happen before everybody went, hey, you know what, man? | ||
| You guys are just copying other people's shit. | ||
| Well, I mean, you take it like caveman styles, right? | ||
| You got a guy with a fucking log and he's going on the fucking log and everyone's like, yeah, right. | ||
| And then this other dude was like, yeah, well, fucking check this out. | ||
| And he takes the fucking log and does the exact same thing. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And then he's like debunking the other fucking dude. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Escalating it. | ||
| People would criticize you. | ||
| All you're doing is playing other people's shit. | ||
| And then people go, okay, well, I'm going to make my own shit. | ||
| Is that what happened? | ||
| I think that's what happened. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And it had to happen because it was... | ||
| To legitimize the music. | ||
| Well, both that and make things unique that were associated with that one person as opposed to something that was this group of people that you weren't quite sure who was doing what and which DJ was better than the other one. | ||
| I love the fact that you can just make all these noises just on your computer now. | ||
| I mean, I know you might not be able to do what you do, but Brian's made some crazy shit just with garage bands. | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
|
unidentified
|
GarageBand! | |
| Justice's whole last album was done completely in GarageBand. | ||
| That's crazy! | ||
|
unidentified
|
And they're huge! | |
| What is it? | ||
| Justice. | ||
| Justice? | ||
| I've never heard of them. | ||
| Justice, really? | ||
| I'm an old man. | ||
| Oh, okay, you're old. | ||
| I listen to like Greg Allman. | ||
| Well, they're a little dirtier, a little grungier sounding than my stuff. | ||
| I listen to Leonard Skinner. | ||
| Fucking, their shit is awesome. | ||
| It is so lo-fi, low-tech, no million-dollar studio bullshit. | ||
| Do you like bands like the Black Keys? | ||
| I love them. | ||
| I love, actually, I worked with them. | ||
| Your fucking cat's meowing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is it? | |
| Freak. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| You work with them? | ||
| Where'd you work with them? | ||
| Oh, we did the VGAs. | ||
| Or, sorry, the VMAs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| Wow. | ||
| Oh, wait, what the fuck did we do? | ||
| What was it? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Are you sleeping? | ||
| My manager's fucking asleep. | ||
| Earning this 20%. | ||
| Whoa, hold on, 20 for real? | ||
| Talk to me about that. | ||
| Listen, that's bullshit. | ||
| We negotiate, Dean. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, we're supposed to pay 20. There's my one. | |
| I haven't even heard of the best getting more than 15. It's okay. | ||
| He earns it. | ||
| He's tired because he was working so fucking hard today at the Grammys. | ||
| My goodness. | ||
| Are you nominated for anything? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Three. | ||
| Three of them. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Don't ask me what they are, please. | ||
| It's kind of cool. | ||
| Best dance, I believe. | ||
| You gotta know. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| I got a VH1 Best of Award. | ||
| So anyway, fuck, you're making me lose shit. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Black Keys. | ||
| Yeah, Black Keys. | ||
| Dude, it was amazing. | ||
| We did, oh, the VMAs. | ||
| Yes, the Video Music Awards. | ||
| Is that MTV? Yes. | ||
| Yeah, and we kind of, I was kind of charged with the task of being like the house music guy, like, you know, throughout the whole night. | ||
| And so, like, and the commercial break, here's this guy in the mouse head. | ||
| Okay, here's a commercial. | ||
| VMS, you did the Virgin Mobile Fest. | ||
| VMA. Oh. | ||
| Virgin Music Awards. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| Video Music Awards. | ||
| It should be the MVAs. | ||
| Music Video Awards. | ||
| Right? | ||
| It was for all the videos. | ||
| Video Music Awards. | ||
| So I had to work with all these other artists like Robin and Jason Derulo, the Black Keys, and someone else. | ||
| But anyway, the point was is I had to kind of take their stuff and electronicize it and remix it in a way that, you know, they could either perform with and play with and all that stuff. | ||
| And I did... | ||
| I did that song, that really good song by the Black Keys. | ||
| A new one, an older one? | ||
| No, it's an older one. | ||
| It was their big hit. | ||
| Joe loves the Black Keys. | ||
| He talks about them all the time. | ||
| I'm trying to think of what song you could be thinking. | ||
| They have so many songs. | ||
| Tighten Up. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Is it Tighten Up? | ||
| Yes, it was definitely Tighten Up. | ||
| And it was really cool. | ||
| So I did this kind of cool version of it and then played that out during the commercial break. | ||
| And they were into it, and they were like, dude, yeah, we should probably make this an unofficial remix or something like that. | ||
| And I'm just like, oh man, that'd be awesome. | ||
| But I got to work on so much shit that we never got around to it. | ||
| Oh, that's too bad. | ||
| People's taste in music is so bizarre. | ||
| I asked Brian to put on Little Black Submarines last night while we were doing our Ice House Chronicles show. | ||
| This is one of my favorite songs. | ||
| I love this fucking song. | ||
| And I expected a lot of people, and most people on Twitter, ironically, were in agreement. | ||
| Like, wow, what a great fucking song. | ||
| But on my message board, my message board is filled with so many cunts. | ||
| It's a cunt. | ||
| It's a cunt room. | ||
| You just close it down and kill them all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It really is a cunt farm. | |
| Can we say cunt on the show? | ||
| Can we say cunt? | ||
| You can say cunt. | ||
| You can say fucking cunt. | ||
| It's a cunt farm. | ||
| Guys, we're shitting on this song. | ||
| It's nothing. | ||
| It makes me think of Stairway to Heaven. | ||
| Shut your fucking dumb hole. | ||
| Cunt hole. | ||
| Shut your cunt holes. | ||
| You dumb, negative, twat-faced fuckhead. | ||
| It's a great goddamn song. | ||
| For you to just get all negative like that, I guarantee your life is a bag of shit. | ||
| It's okay to be subjective about music. | ||
| It's okay to be subjective, but it's not okay to be like, you know what, fuck all this. | ||
| That song's brilliant, man. | ||
| It's brilliant. | ||
| I'm just kidding, obviously. | ||
| You're allowed to hate it. | ||
| Obviously. | ||
| I'm only fucking around. | ||
| People are like, yeah, man! | ||
| Will you fucking dictate what I like? | ||
| A lot of this passion is just for entertainment, okay? | ||
| I don't really want you to... | ||
| People get so serious. | ||
| Like, we were talking about Margaret Thatcher the other day, and I'm like, women shouldn't be allowed to run anything. | ||
| Half of that, I'm joking around. | ||
| It's for fun. | ||
| But I got so many women that got mad at me. | ||
| Like, really? | ||
| I mean, do you not know any men? | ||
| Do you not know what happens when five guys get together and drink and smoke pot? | ||
| They start talking shit. | ||
| And when one guy starts talking about how awesome Margaret Thatcher is, every other dude in the room goes, Margaret Thatcher can suck my dick. | ||
| That's all you start thinking. | ||
| That's how guys react. | ||
| They're like, what? | ||
| The only reason why she was running shit is because all those English guys, none of them could fuck her. | ||
| We're making things up. | ||
| We don't really believe anything we're saying. | ||
| We're just trying to be funny. | ||
| I'm sure Margaret Thatcher was awesome. | ||
| By the way, Meryl Streep, wonderful actress. | ||
| I was only joking around when I said she sucked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is this all like damage control? | |
| Damage control from the last show. | ||
| No, it's arguing with people. | ||
| No, this is my point. | ||
| I have a point to all this. | ||
| It's arguing with people on the internet. | ||
| You know, it's like people's taste of the internet. | ||
| Because when we started putting that you're going to be on, 99% of the people were super psyched. | ||
| What was the 1%? | ||
| There's 1% cunt faces. | ||
| Shithead, loser, negative little twat. | ||
| You gotta give it up to that one fucking guy because he's the guy that's first in line that starts the ball of negativity. | ||
| So here's the thing is you read... | ||
| You gotta give it up to him? | ||
| There's a science... | ||
| Well, yeah and no, okay? | ||
| But there's a science behind all of this fucking trolling. | ||
| There really is. | ||
| So you go look at a YouTube video and if a top rated or most recent comment is something negative, people tend to agree with that whether they believe it or not. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So it's like, yeah, fuck this. | ||
| Yeah, you know what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're right. | |
| Fuck this. | ||
| Yeah, those other two dudes are right. | ||
| Fuck him. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, no, I enjoy that. | ||
| I enjoy the one completely out to left field, super negative, in a world full of happiness. | ||
| As long as it's well-crafted. | ||
| As long as it's handmade. | ||
| Very rarely is well-crafted. | ||
| Yeah, well, fuck it. | ||
| Yeah, very rarely. | ||
| One of my favorite guys is Daft Punk and their film, Interstellar, I must watch at least once a month. | ||
| Do you ever have any plans to maybe release a full-length movie using your music and maybe animation using your logo or something cool like that? | ||
| Well, that's a project among projects. | ||
| If you did that, then maybe Disney might want to redo it. | ||
| Seriously. | ||
| Have Disney do it, right? | ||
| If you were making your own animation with the mouse, they'd be like, bitch. | ||
| I think I was actually up there in that whole pot of names to do the Tron thing. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, I thought I was. | ||
| To do the music soundtrack? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| To do the soundtrack? | ||
| Right. | ||
| But honestly, if it was me and I knew they were in there, I'd have to give it to them. | ||
| I enjoyed that music, man. | ||
| A little bit of it was geek nostalgia. | ||
| I enjoyed the first movie and I was looking forward to it. | ||
| But it was also just for the sheer cinematic, the visuals of it all, the world they created, I give it to you. | ||
| It doesn't have to be a perfect story. | ||
| You're doing a lot. | ||
| You're getting a lot of shit done here. | ||
| You're creating this crazy artificial world where people ride motorcycles and chop each other in half. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I'll let you slide. | ||
| Tron, little mouse. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| It was kind of interesting how they're not quite ready to do human faces. | ||
| You know, the William... | ||
| What is his name? | ||
| William Hurt? | ||
| William Hurt. | ||
| William Hurt's character. | ||
| It was pretty close, but it was a little creepy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was a little creepy. | |
| I haven't watched that. | ||
| Marginally better. | ||
| I haven't seen it. | ||
| I don't want to ruin the... | ||
| Do you have a 3D TV? Marginally better than I Am Legend when the lion comes out. | ||
| Remember when the lion comes out in I Am Legend? | ||
| What happened? | ||
| It looks terrible. | ||
| It ruined the whole movie for me. | ||
| This lion looks so stupid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was fake. | |
| It looks like a lion from Dora the Explorer. | ||
| It was like... | ||
| D-D-Dora! | ||
| The door to the Explorer line comes out of the bushes. | ||
| It was ridiculous. | ||
| It was terrible CGI. They can't do animals that are real yet. | ||
| They can do dinosaurs. | ||
| They can do aliens. | ||
| They can do all sorts of shit that doesn't exist. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| The good with old men. | ||
| They're not bad. | ||
| They're not bad because there's a lot of wrinkles. | ||
| Old men, they got that. | ||
| It's easy. | ||
| They look real. | ||
| Hot chicks? | ||
| Man, it's all cartoon. | ||
| They can't get that. | ||
| They're pretty close. | ||
| I agree with you. | ||
| That's the hardest one. | ||
| Every year, they're discussing the hot chicks. | ||
| You could deal with a real rough texture with the old men. | ||
| What they can't do, though, they can't do animals yet. | ||
| They can't do like a dog. | ||
| Is it like the fur? | ||
| Yeah, it's the fur. | ||
| It's the face. | ||
| It looks fake. | ||
| Definitely the hair. | ||
| That's not my department. | ||
| The fur. | ||
| It's a real issue. | ||
| It doesn't look good. | ||
| I'm about to actually embark on a serious CG journey that I can't really give too much information about. | ||
| But we're actually like been bidding around with companies right now. | ||
| And dude, we're looking at like 500 grand a minute. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you serious? | |
| It's going to make 500 grand a minute? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's going to cost 500 grand a minute? | ||
|
unidentified
|
500 grand? | |
| Holy shit! | ||
| No, but we're talking like final rendered, all composed, everything. | ||
| Oh my god, that's insane. | ||
| It is so expensive. | ||
| For a 90 minute movie, what is that, $45 million? | ||
| Well, no. | ||
| I mean, if you want to inject it into a scene. | ||
| You need to take that to Cambodia. | ||
| You just need to call Foxconn. | ||
| If it's entirely CG, like Final Fantasy, that's significantly cheaper. | ||
| But if you're doing camera tracking with real world stuff and doing it right, then that's when it gets expensive. | ||
| $500,000 a minute. | ||
| A fucking minute. | ||
| For real, it really is $45 million for a 90-minute movie. | ||
| Not if it's all CG. And it's not. | ||
| Shit like Transformers is not going to cost $500. | ||
| But a movie like Final Fantasy... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, because it's all CG. It incorporates no real world shit. | ||
| Oh, so that's all of an issue when you incorporate real world. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yes, because you have to do camera tracking and all this crazy shit. | ||
| Oh, I see. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Damn, you're very knowledgeable with all this CGI shit. | ||
| Well, I had a fucking two hour long meeting about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| Half a million dollar a day fucking jamming. | ||
| Damn, they made sure he knew. | ||
| Half a million dollars a minute. | ||
| They sometimes do it with music videos, but what they do is they'll take that minute and they'll split it over the whole video. | ||
| If it's a seven minute long video, it's not going to be six minutes of this and then, oh, last minute's all CG. They cut it and they edit it and all that stuff. | ||
| That's so hard to wrap your head around, though. | ||
| That's still expensive. | ||
| That's when you just need to date a CGI artist. | ||
| That's all you should do. | ||
| Right? | ||
| There you go. | ||
| I mean, why don't you just... | ||
| I know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a Brian solution for everything. | |
| I know about... | ||
| Just fucking 30. Very single, very nerdy, fucking talented motherfuckers who can whip that shit up like that. | ||
| You date every one week. | ||
| You date a shadower one week. | ||
| You date a fucking motion tracker one week. | ||
| Your life's going to be a graveyard as his... | ||
| Can I tell my dead mouse, blow it up story? | ||
| I want to blow it up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| This is my story. | ||
| I don't know, maybe a year and a half ago. | ||
| Oh, cool story, bro. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| You just got shut down, son. | ||
| This is based on the merit of your previous stories. | ||
| He doesn't even know you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, seriously. | |
| I'm going to blow your music up right now. | ||
| Oh, that's not what he needs at this point in his career. | ||
| No, but I'm going to tell my story. | ||
| I got a dead mouth story. | ||
| Are you going to redeem yourself from the previous story? | ||
| Is that what's going on? | ||
| I have a dead mouth story, yes. | ||
| Does this one have an ending? | ||
| I do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what? | |
| You know what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Listen. | |
| He's here. | ||
| We're doing a podcast. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| And I have a dead mouth story. | ||
| Like, might as well tell the story. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So, about a year and a half ago, he does a big thing at the Staples Center with a bunch of other DJs. | ||
| It's like a big gaming convention thing. | ||
| The E3. E3. Big thing. | ||
| Staples Center. | ||
| Huge. | ||
| Danny Loner. | ||
| Dude is producing my stuff. | ||
| X9 Snails. | ||
| He has tickets. | ||
| He calls me up. | ||
| You want to go? | ||
| I go, cool. | ||
| We go last minute. | ||
| The show's huge. | ||
| It's massive. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| I really didn't get to hear too much music. | ||
| I really wasn't paying attention. | ||
| At this point, I didn't know any Deadmau5 stuff. | ||
| I didn't know. | ||
| And we went backstage, took some pictures. | ||
| I met him briefly. | ||
| I remember the tattoo now when I see him. | ||
| So, six months goes by, I'm getting tattoo, getting ink done, and dude who's tattooing me's got Pandora dubstep going on. | ||
| And I'm sitting there for like five hours listening, and I don't like anything, man. | ||
| It's very hard for me to be excited about music, man. | ||
| You gotta be fucking good. | ||
| The whole day goes by and one song crushes me. | ||
| Bass Nectar Time Stretch. | ||
| I heard that shit, I was getting inked. | ||
| I'm like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck! | |
| Time Stretch by Bass Nectar is amazing. | ||
| It blew me away. | ||
| So we had to stop tattooing. | ||
| I had to write that shit down. | ||
| I'm like, rarely do I get blown away like that. | ||
| Most of that shit was just, like, good production. | ||
| But I'm like, where's the song? | ||
| I'm looking for the song. | ||
| I need to hear that. | ||
| Throw that shit on, Brian. | ||
| Oh, dude, it's amazing. | ||
| I don't think you can. | ||
| Bass Nectar? | ||
| Bass Nectar, Time Stretch. | ||
| One of the most amazing songs ever written. | ||
| I bet it's on there. | ||
| It's gotta be online. | ||
| It's in the Dead Mouse area. | ||
| But let me finish my story real quick. | ||
| I like how this is a Dev Mouse story. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Hold on, hold on. | ||
| That's not your shit. | ||
| What he's talking about is not your shit. | ||
| Super talented fucking dude, nonetheless. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So, the whole day, there's one song, Bass Nectar, Time Stretch. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| So then I get in my car, my arms all wrapped up, And I go, I got one awesome song by just listening to, you know, listening to a Pandora dubstep station. | ||
| So right there on my way home, it was going to take about an hour and a half to get home with traffic. | ||
| I put on dubstep. | ||
| I wanted to find another song. | ||
| So I kept listening song after song after song, an hour into it. | ||
| And then, boom, Ghost and Stuff comes on. | ||
| I'm like, holy shit, that's his stuff. | ||
| That's Deadbound. | ||
| Okay, find that one. | ||
| Ghost and Stuff. | ||
| Ghost and stuff, find that. | ||
| I heard that. | ||
| Because we couldn't call it ghost and shit. | ||
| I heard that shit, and no, seriously, this is a real story. | ||
| Bam, bought it on iTunes right away. | ||
| There's no way this is a real story. | ||
| This is like a make-believe story, like you're in a castle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yes, exactly. | ||
| I don't know what that means, but that's the way it went down. | ||
| I wasn't, I didn't like anything. | ||
| Crank the shit up. | ||
| The whole day of listening to dubstep, bass nectar time stretch, and your ghosts and stuff, that fucking floored me. | ||
| I bought it on iTunes. | ||
| I don't buy shit unless it's fucking beat. | ||
| Let me hear some volume, Brian. | ||
| That's some real shit right there. | ||
| He's looking at me. | ||
| Like, do you want to do it? | ||
| Do you want to push the fader up? | ||
| He's scared. | ||
| It'd be like cooking in front of Anthony Bourdain. | ||
| I'm not sure what mix this is. | ||
| I don't know if this is the same. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is it loud? | |
| It's the original, this one. | ||
| Is that loud in yours? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You can tell instantly that it's the original. | ||
| Yeah, this is the original. | ||
| Oh, this is cool. | ||
| No, I don't get tired of this fucking one. | ||
| Do you get tired of your own music? | ||
| Play Freebird! | ||
| Listen, man, for me, this is all unique. | ||
| I apologize, but I'm enjoying it. | ||
| How are you creating this? | ||
| Are you using musical programs? | ||
| This is the only one track I didn't do in a studio. | ||
| I did it in a hotel room in England, in London. | ||
| Yeah, it was really funny. | ||
| And the name came up. | ||
| Just chilling? | ||
| Just chilling out, and I got some computers and stuff. | ||
| And there's that bass line again. | ||
| That's UFOs, man. | ||
| That's the government. | ||
| The government's listening. | ||
| We're dangerous. | ||
| I'm messing about, and I'm talking to, he's a big DJ over in England, Pete Tong. | ||
| He does the BBC Radio 1 show and all that stuff, and we had some discussion about the hotel that I was staying in, and he's like, yeah, bro, it's haunted. | ||
| You know, and doors are opening and shutting in my room and shit. | ||
| So, you know, and I'm just kind of like, I name songs that like spur of the moment kind of bullshit thing. | ||
| I don't really put any thought into the name, so I just called it Ghost and Shit. | ||
| So I sent it off. | ||
| Yeah, and then we sent it off to EMI and they're like, oh, we can't call it Ghost and Shit. | ||
| Ghost and stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck it. | |
| What a silly... | ||
| Ghost and stuff is kind of cool. | ||
| You know, because you know what? | ||
| No, because even if you did that, you would have to put that goddamn sticker on the front of the CD that has explicit lyrics, even though it's not a lyric. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's in the song title. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then that actually detriments you from fucking millions of Wal-Mart. | ||
| You can't get into Wal-Mart, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| iTunes, I was trying to find Nas Life We Chose with... | ||
| There's so much cussing in it. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| He says the N-word like throughout the chorus. | ||
| It's huge. | ||
| But on iTunes, I keep downloading the clean one. | ||
| They just pull out the lyrics. | ||
| I'm like, fuck! | ||
| It sucks without all that shit. | ||
| Yeah, there's nothing more disturbing when you're in a club and you're looking to have a good time and you realize a song that you're hearing is a censored version of it. | ||
| Oh, I remember a few of those. | ||
| That the track didn't work. | ||
| Yeah, that one, Forget You. | ||
| Without Forget you? | ||
| I don't want to hear that forget you ever. | ||
| It's only good with the fuck you. | ||
| I thought it was a great song all the way through, but then when they changed it, I'm like, oh, it was that fuck you. | ||
| It really was. | ||
| I feel like, I don't know if this is real, because I might have blocked it out. | ||
| They called people slugging a bitch instead of son of a bitch on movies, and it was really bad. | ||
| Like Goodfellas or something like that. | ||
| When I overdubbed. | ||
| Who was the girl that Brad Pitt used to be married to? | ||
| She's an actress. | ||
| Jennifer Aniston. | ||
| No, the other one. | ||
| Angelina Jolie. | ||
| The first one. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Veronica. | ||
| No, the first one, man. | ||
| Gwyneth Paltrow. | ||
| Gwyneth Paltrow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| Boom! | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Knuckles. | ||
| What? | ||
| Gwyneth Paltrow is in that show Glee, right? | ||
| And she was singing Forget You. | ||
| She was singing it. | ||
| I'm pretty sure I heard it. | ||
| I might have just, in the fury of suck, I might have just blacked out. | ||
| It was just too much irony for me. | ||
| I couldn't handle it. | ||
| I wanted it to be a part of my imagination, so I couldn't even talk about it on stage. | ||
| Forget you. | ||
| Forget the song. | ||
| I think she was singing it. | ||
| I'm pretty sure she was singing it. | ||
| It was death. | ||
| It was death. | ||
| But it made me so sad that that first song was so dope. | ||
| We played that song on the podcast. | ||
| Never has the song gone from being so fucking badass to just some shit that's like Muzak on an elevator that you don't even want to hear, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I hate that. | |
| That Fuck You song was the shit! | ||
| When it first came out, a fucking ugly fat guy singing Fuck You! | ||
| Fuck You! | ||
| And you're like, yeah! | ||
| You wanted him to say it! | ||
| Yeah, say it, dude! | ||
| Fuck her! | ||
| I wonder if he has to pull back on certain shows and do the Forget You song. | ||
| Of course he does. | ||
| He ain't probably all he does now. | ||
| They probably made a deal with him. | ||
| They probably bring him new white women on a regular basis. | ||
| He's gonna be the next Rage Against the Machine on the Christmas special at fucking BBC where they're gonna go, okay, well you can't say fuck you, I won't do what you tell me. | ||
| Forget you, I won't do what you tell me. | ||
| Did they really say that? | ||
| No way. | ||
| Would you imagine? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you just think of this right now? | |
| Because that was awesome. | ||
| That is awesome. | ||
| Forget you, I won't do what you tell us. | ||
| Well, you remember when the Beatles got on the Ed Sullivan show? | ||
| Oh, it couldn't get much higher. | ||
| Yeah, it was a big issue. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was risque. | |
| Babe, you couldn't get much higher. | ||
| Yeah, that was a big deal. | ||
| They wanted him to change those lyrics out. | ||
| Girl, you couldn't get much, forget you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he did it. | ||
| Remember in the movie, he got real close to the camera when he said it, and he fucking violated them. | ||
| Yesterday I was singing on camera, I was singing the second verse to She Swallowed It, old NWA. She forgot. | ||
| And I was on video. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Juicing at the lift. | |
| Dude, you could be a stand-up. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| You could easily be a stand-up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Would you ever try stand-up? | |
| If you wanted to, you could be a stand-up. | ||
| Forget you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| Non-stop tagging. | ||
| So I was singing along to the second verse. | ||
| There was some people around, and I was just singing. | ||
| Why were you doing that? | ||
| And there was a lot of N-word in there. | ||
| And you were singing it? | ||
| Were there black people in the car with you? | ||
| No, but it did feel wrong. | ||
| It felt uncomfortable. | ||
| No, it did. | ||
| Why were you singing that song? | ||
| That's not a good song. | ||
| I love that song. | ||
| Do you really? | ||
| She swallowed it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, that's one of the greatest rap songs ever. | |
| Seriously. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| She swallowed it is one of the greatest rap songs ever. | ||
| It was pretty cool when I was 15. Yeah, exactly. | ||
| When I wanted to hear people talk about sex. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I remember listening to it. | ||
| The first time I ever listened to that song, I was on a treadmill in Revere, Massachusetts. | ||
| I was at the gym. | ||
| That's funny that you remember exactly what you were doing and where you were. | ||
| I do. | ||
| Absolutely remember exactly. | ||
| It's an amazing song. | ||
| Because I had just recently got what was a dope-ass Walkman cassette player at the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck yeah. | |
| It was the shit. | ||
| It was bright yellow, okay? | ||
| And I was doing my cardio on this fucking treadmill. | ||
| And I'm on this treadmill, and I remember listening to NWA while I'm jogging. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, these fucking guys are seeing some really crazy shit. | |
| You know, like, all this stuff about being violent against white people. | ||
| I'm like, am I supposed to be entertained by this? | ||
| I was so confused. | ||
| It was all an act, dude. | ||
| It was all an act. | ||
| But I was like, what is this? | ||
| They're criminals? | ||
| That's a good thing all of a sudden? | ||
| I remember like, you know, what the fuck is going on? | ||
| I can't be this guy because I'm only 20. I can't be this guy that's going, what the fuck is going on with this country? | ||
| You're right. | ||
| What's going on with this country? | ||
| Not yet. | ||
| I was too young, but yet those were the thoughts that were happening in my mind as I was listening to this CD. I get that when I listen to LMFAO. You don't like that sexy song? | ||
| I'll tell you what, I didn't like that sexy song until I saw the video. | ||
| And then I thought, that's a fun video. | ||
| Do you remember me saying, I was in Vegas, and I heard this stupid loop of... | ||
| Then I heard it in like seven songs. | ||
| He had a bit about that. | ||
| Yeah, I had a bit about how much I hated that. | ||
| And then I found out it was Elm FAO had that in like one of their main songs. | ||
| Well, that was Afrojack that started that whole thing. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| It was not them, right? | ||
| Originally, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Right. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Fair enough. | ||
| Does that happen in music? | ||
| That happens especially in... | ||
| See, electronic music goes through these phases, okay? | ||
| The first notable phase was the Benny Benassi bass line. | ||
| Oh, Benny! | ||
| This big, farty, you know, saw wave, right? | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| Who's Benny Benassi? | ||
| Benny Benassi's a lovely guy from Italy. | ||
| Great name. | ||
| What a fucking awesome name. | ||
| He's a DJ producer. | ||
| He did the track, you know, Satisfaction. | ||
| Have you ever heard that Dancy track? | ||
| I can't get my Satisfaction. | ||
| Is it like a Rolling Stones cover? | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| It wasn't a cover. | ||
| It was a complete original. | ||
| It was like this robotic voice. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Anyway, breakout fucking track, but it had the signature sound. | ||
| Now, it's nothing new. | ||
| It wasn't this amazing breakout technology, but it's like this just big, thick, meaty, fuck off, like a sawtooth wave that you hear. | ||
| And he kind of like capitalized on that. | ||
| And that was a thing, you know, for a while. | ||
| So a lot of other producers started fucking knocking it off. | ||
| And then what happened was, you know, you had guys like Josh Winks who kind of pioneered the TB-303. | ||
| Now this is like some old, you know, Japanese bassline instrument that was supposed to be used as a bass simulator. | ||
| And then Buddy got the idea to crank the resonance on it and then, you know, use it as a synth. | ||
| So it did this... | ||
| You know, like the fucking 303. Then everyone started doing it. | ||
| So we're like the electronic music committee, or committee, fucking group. | ||
| You know, we're all susceptible to these kind of fads that happen. | ||
| That's some badass music history right there, though. | ||
| Well, right. | ||
| Now, Diplo does this thing. | ||
| He comes out with taking like a piece of vocal and taking just the little sustained little bit of it and going there. | ||
| And then everyone starts fucking doing it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So there's all these little fads that just keep happening with electronic music. | ||
| Let the beat drop. | ||
| Like that shit? | ||
| Yeah, I like that. | ||
| That's a constant. | ||
| I fucking love the beat drop. | ||
| I can't fucking stand it. | ||
| I hate it when there are narratives in tracks. | ||
| Oh, you hate that? | ||
| Like, put your hands up. | ||
| Like the Kanye West song? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is this, a fucking robbery? | |
| It's a creative robbery. | ||
| Don't tell me what to fucking do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck you. | |
| It's a creative robbery. | ||
| I think it's fun. | ||
| I actually like that shit. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I want a whole song. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love it. | |
| It's like the song comes with this massive crescendo. | ||
| I'm never in a club. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And then a massive bass line happens. | |
| It's like a bad fucking porn is what it is. | ||
| It's like, oh, I'm coming. | ||
| I'm coming. | ||
| Well, no fucking shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm coming. | |
| I'm coming all over you. | ||
| I'm coming all over you. | ||
| Yeah, we get it. | ||
| There's random voices. | ||
| I can't stand watching porn with narratives. | ||
| It's like, oh, you're fucking me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're fucking me. | |
| I'm fucking you. | ||
| I'm fucking you. | ||
| That's so true. | ||
| Have you ever seen Spinal Tap? | ||
| It's so annoying. | ||
| Have you seen Spinal Tap? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Okay, Artie Fufkin. | ||
| That's the only thing that comes to mind when I hear these obligatory sci-fi samples in dance music. | ||
| It's like, hi, Artie Fufkin, Polymer Records. | ||
| Hi, Artie Fufkin, Polymer Records. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Artie Fufkin, Polymer Records. | ||
| And then his name comes up on the screen and says, Artie Fufkin, Polymer Records. | ||
| I'm like... | ||
| Dude, that is amazing. | ||
| I don't know if they meant to do that or not, but it's just so fucking funny. | ||
| Because he said it, like, about 15 times in a five-second frame. | ||
| And then they show his name, like, in case you didn't fucking get it. | ||
| Oh, that's funny. | ||
| That's brilliant. | ||
| So they do it in porn, and they do it in dance music. | ||
| Yeah, porn, it can ruin porn. | ||
| Oh, it totally can. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like this chick is sucking this guy's dick, and he's like, yeah, you're sucking my dick. | |
| Like, no shit. | ||
| It just makes me think, like, do they have to fucking do this for people that might not understand what's happening on the screen? | ||
| Or blind people. | ||
| Holy shit, I didn't think about that. | ||
| It's for blind people masturbating. | ||
| It's like, the book's on tape. | ||
| Well, why wouldn't you want to just do the sounds? | ||
| Fuck my dirty ass, the book. | ||
| Do you know there's websites that narrate porn videos just for blind people? | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| He's approaching the mountain. | ||
| He's coming outside. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| He's pointing down his pants. | ||
| His cock is flaccid. | ||
| He's got a big helmet, purple. | ||
| And they're good? | ||
| Are they really descriptive, like poetic? | ||
| Yeah, and it's weird because it's a community-based purple. | ||
| Can we find some of that right now? | ||
| We could find some of that right now. | ||
| Can we hear this shit right now? | ||
| Yeah, let's hear it, man. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| See if we can pull that up. | ||
| That's brilliant. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn! | |
| The market for that! | ||
| Come on! | ||
| The units they're selling! | ||
| I think people have different things. | ||
| Some people like watching other people fuck, and some people like watching porn pretending it's them. | ||
| You're like, oh, that could be me, that could be me. | ||
| Some people like being the person actually just beating off watching people fuck. | ||
| It's like two totally different mindsets. | ||
| For me, it's just looking at the naked girl. | ||
| That's me, but I mean... | ||
| I don't know why I'm looking at that. | ||
| I'm looking at the legs. | ||
| I'm like, that looks good. | ||
| I'm totally down with that, but I have to put myself in a completely different mindset if it's a black guy. | ||
| If it's a black guy fucking a white girl, I have to go, okay, this is clearly not really me. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I can't even pretend this is some of my weird porn when I had my blonde wig on. | ||
| I'm forgetting you so hard. | ||
| I'm forgetting you so hard right now. | ||
| Blonde lion's mane wig for a while. | ||
| There is a scene where people like watching African Americans fuck white girls. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of guys who have weird submissives. | ||
| There's a porn for it. | ||
| Of course there is. | ||
| Cuckholding, it's called. | ||
| It's a special condition. | ||
| African American cuckholding. | ||
| Cuckholding? | ||
| I've never heard of the cuckolding. | ||
| Men want to be punked and they want another manly man to fuck their wife in front of them. | ||
| There's a lot of creepy dudes. | ||
| There's a lot of guys who have some weird fucking freak fetishes, man. | ||
| You think there's black dudes who fantasize about their chick getting fucked by a white guy? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Master gonna come over. | ||
| Fuck you, ain't he? | ||
| And they freak out. | ||
| I don't know even, what are you going on with? | ||
| Master fucking you, Amy! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Master fucking you, I'm working in the fields. | |
| And here's Skank Beaver. | ||
| It's from Point for a Blonde. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| Whatever's forbidden, man. | ||
| Whatever the fuck is forbidden, someone's doing it. | ||
| Just for the psychological benefit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is Joshua here. | |
| At pornfortheblind.org. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Here I am presented with a clip by Skankbreakers website showing a woman in a glass of white substances and... | |
| You're fired. | ||
| You're fired. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I scroll down to the page and find myself at the... | |
| Oh, well, honey, I have another audition today. | ||
| Wish me luck. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Wait. | ||
| Alright, the video is starting with a woman who is young and attractive and tan laying back on a bed and... | ||
| Oh! | ||
| What?! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my... | |
| Um, what just happened is, um... | ||
| This is fake. | ||
| This is fucked. | ||
| This is bullshit. | ||
| This is fake. | ||
| It's fake. | ||
| Brian, this is fake. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Listen. | ||
| They got us. | ||
| They got us. | ||
| No, hey, let me explain. | ||
| This is a community-based website, and if you look at the screen right now, there's a whole bunch of them that people put on there, so some of them definitely are fake, but some of them are. | ||
| I've listened to a few of them. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Well, that guy, that one guy, yeah, that one guy was clearly trying to be an asshole. | ||
| Right. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| That would have been great. | ||
| You could tell just by the way he was talking. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| It would have been just as funny if he would have just kept the act. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| If you're going to do a porn for the blind and describe someone fucking, you better sound horny. | ||
| Those people just hate blind people. | ||
| You can't be like, well, she's taking on his cock. | ||
| It's not like a special thing. | ||
| This guy's not excited about it. | ||
| So would they lie? | ||
| Also, would they kind of lie? | ||
| I mean, because it's like phone sex, right? | ||
| So you're on a phone with some chick. | ||
| You don't know what she looks like. | ||
| Of course, she's saying she's all this and she's all that. | ||
| So would they kind of just fudge in some shit? | ||
| Our good friend Marilyn Martinez, she passed away recently. | ||
| We love her to death. | ||
| She was awesome. | ||
| Great comedian. | ||
| Really funny lady that used to hang around the comedy store. | ||
| She was a phone sex operator. | ||
| And she was probably five feet tall. | ||
| Damn, I didn't know that. | ||
| Yeah, she's maybe... | ||
| Like legitimately a phone sex operator. | ||
| Yeah, and she was a big woman. | ||
| She was really big. | ||
| I knew her. | ||
| I just didn't know she was a phone sex operator. | ||
| She was really unhealthy. | ||
| She was big. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah, and she was doing full sex. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on, that's a TV show. | |
| And she would come and talk about it at the comic store. | ||
| It was hilarious. | ||
| It would have been a great TV show. | ||
| If she was alive today, it would have been a great TV show. | ||
| She was hilarious, and she was great in describing all these fucking freaks that would call her up. | ||
| Yeah, I like toes in my ass. | ||
| Oh, baby, I got my toe in your ass right now. | ||
| Yeah, my toes in your ass. | ||
| I'm like, oh, my fucking toes in your ass? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| And she would go, oh yeah, these sick fucks, they want to hear all kinds of shit. | ||
| I've seen that in a porn recently. | ||
| I'm like, what is going on? | ||
| There is a porn out there on somewhere.com with a guy and a mouse head on a chick. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| I shit you not. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's awesome. | |
| That's weird. | ||
| And I get that ass all the time. | ||
| Everyone's like, oh, would you do a chick with a mouse head on? | ||
| You feel responsible? | ||
| Somewhere... | ||
| I wouldn't. | ||
| Somewhere down the line, prosthetics is going to get so good that you're going to be able to watch JFK fucking Marilyn Monroe. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I'm kind of scared about this shit. | ||
| I really am. | ||
| Not in terms of a fucking dude in a fucking mouse head or whatever, but think about it. | ||
| You know, where people are getting convicted on CCTV footage or doing shit like that. | ||
| With today's CG artists and shit like that... | ||
| Oh, it's absolutely true. | ||
| We could fuck a dude up. | ||
| Do you remember Rat Wag the Dog? | ||
| Remember that Dustin Hoffman movie? | ||
| I haven't seen that. | ||
| It was a movie about... | ||
| They faked some military action. | ||
| It was a political movie. | ||
| And a lot of it was special effects they used. | ||
| They brought in Hollywood guys. | ||
| And I was thinking, you know, today, God, it would be so easy. | ||
| It really would. | ||
| It would be so easy to fake something. | ||
| It would be so easy. | ||
| Doesn't that fucking scare the shit out of you a little bit? | ||
| It's terrifying. | ||
| It's terrifying if they can restrict access. | ||
| They're overdubbing my shit right now with meows. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Meows. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Like, fuck, you know? | ||
| It's not hard to do. | ||
| There's a recent law passed by Congress that's going to have hundreds of thousands of drones in the sky. | ||
| Dude, what the fuck? | ||
| Something like more than 30,000 drones. | ||
| Like really boring people? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Have you been keeping up with that? | ||
| Let's fucking put them in orbit. | ||
| No, um... | ||
| Cameras. | ||
| Cameras in the sky to watch over the city streets. | ||
| The idea is, hey man, if you're not doing anything bad, but what if you're trying to fuck in an alleyway somewhere? | ||
| What if you're with your girl and you're just like, come on, you dirty bitch. | ||
| Someone's going to stay. | ||
| And you're like, shut up. | ||
| Someone's going to stay. | ||
| Come on, baby. | ||
| Someone's going to stay. | ||
| Okay, quick. | ||
| Be quick. | ||
| Be quick. | ||
| And now you're on the government's fucking video because of that? | ||
| Because there's a little spaceship in the sky? | ||
| Hey, it's Erica there. | ||
| This is the government. | ||
| We've seen your boy the other day. | ||
| I think they have larger agendas. | ||
| You would think, but... | ||
| You're touching the drone boners. | ||
| You would think, but... | ||
| 28... | ||
| You would think, but 28 high school kids got arrested recently because they hired cops to pretend to be undercover. | ||
| They pretended to be high school kids. | ||
| It's like 21 fucking Jump Street. | ||
| But just hanging around or trying to push it? | ||
| No, trying to buy weed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Weed! | |
| 28 high school kids arrested in Florida for weed because cops pretended to be high school. | ||
| You would think that they would use the resources wisely, but if they could get you for sexual exposure outside, you know, especially, by the way, if you're anywhere near a school. | ||
| If you were within a certain amount of yards of a school, that's all of a sudden you're a sexual predator. | ||
| If you take a leak outside of a children's school, you piss on that school. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who's going to do that? | |
| What if you do? | ||
| Just if by all chance. | ||
| If you're some crazy drifter, if you're an idiot, and you don't know any better, you can't find a bathroom, you walk around the back of the bathroom, there's no bathroom, I'm going to just piss on this wall. | ||
| If they arrest you for that, you're a sexual predator. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah? | |
| Yeah, in a lot of places. | ||
| If you're peeing on a kid's school... | ||
| Sex in a park. | ||
| That's gotta be a lot of posting notes going up around the house, you know? | ||
| Like, don't piss near a school. | ||
| Well, what's really crazy is when you get... | ||
| It's too dangerous! | ||
| Don't piss here, you'll be fucking branded. | ||
| Dude, just don't piss by the school. | ||
| Dude, trust me. | ||
| We should be rebels tonight and just go PAO school just to do it. | ||
| I'm not doing it. | ||
| I'm not doing it, dude. | ||
| Especially after we talked about it on the internet. | ||
| The government is going to know. | ||
| They're going to have the drones out. | ||
| By the time they're telling you that there's drones, there's fucking... | ||
| There's already been drones here for years. | ||
| There's drones on a daily basis. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck is going on? | |
| I always say that about, like, cloning. | ||
| Goddammit, what is going on? | ||
| I say by the time they talk about cloning, well, we're going to try cloning. | ||
| The guy telling you is probably a clone. | ||
| They've been cloning forever. | ||
| There's no way they're going to tell you, the common person, when they're ready to clone people. | ||
| They'll make all sorts of experiments before they let people know. | ||
| They probably already have. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| I mean, if they thought that they could make an army of psychotic fucking robot flesh people, if they thought they could clone you and take out all your morality... | ||
|
unidentified
|
They did. | |
| It's a cast of glee, man. | ||
| Dude, you know, how much fucking money... | ||
| It was their first attempt. | ||
| Dude, how much money would they make if they just clone hot bitches and they just fucking sell hot bitches? | ||
| No, they would flood the market. | ||
| Oh, we can't do that. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| The real money would be. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Didn't the ugly person would be the hot shit? | |
| The money would really be in killing them off and getting a small number of them. | ||
| Would that be true, Joe? | ||
| Making them like pearls. | ||
| Would that be true? | ||
| If they cloned all hot girls so the hot girl was more than the ugly girl? | ||
| Would the ugly girl be the hot girl then? | ||
| Actually she would because she would be that one unique thing. | ||
| She'd be a low rent sex worker. | ||
| They did it in Sweden! | ||
|
unidentified
|
They got this limited fucking edition one off. | |
| It's Schwarzenegger's nanny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They did it in Sweden for like 30 or 50 years. | |
| That's where the slug in the ditch came from. | ||
| It's an overdub of him saying you son of a bitch and saying you slug in a ditch and the whole fucking thing was off. | ||
| That was Arnold. | ||
| What were you saying, Eddie? | ||
| What was I saying? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Cloning. | ||
| We're running into each other a lot here. | ||
| We're having fun. | ||
| When you get marijuana and alcohol together in one room and everybody's talking shit. | ||
| Arnold Schwarzenegger's voice being reducted. | ||
| Yeah, but that was an interjection. | ||
| That wasn't a discussion. | ||
| I forgot. | ||
| We were talking about cloning hot chicks. | ||
| Oh no, in Sweden, they did that. | ||
| What? | ||
| Eugenics. | ||
| They actually let, they would, for 30, 40, 50 years, this is where the Nazis got all their shit in Sweden. | ||
| That's why all the hot chicks come from Sweden, and good looking dudes too, if you like that shit. | ||
| They all come from Sweden. | ||
| There's a lot of hot chicks from all over the world, but I hear what you're saying. | ||
| There's a large number that came from Sweden. | ||
| Sweden was all about what's best for the country, and they thought that based on the symmetry of your face, whether or not they should reproduce. | ||
| So if you had a baby... | ||
| They would look at the baby and they would analyze it, scientists, make sure everything was perfect. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What, like 300 and take it to the cliffside and go, nope? | |
| They would sterilize the baby if she was in perfect symmetry. | ||
| Whoa, when did this happen? | ||
| This is real shit, eugenics. | ||
| This is where the Nazis got all their shit from Sweden, man. | ||
| Look into it, son. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| That's why all the good-looking people... | ||
| So how long did they engineer this for? | ||
| It was something like... | ||
| It was part of their country. | ||
| They convinced the entire nation that the country was above you personally. | ||
| So when you had a baby, the scientists analyzed the baby. | ||
| And if it was perfect, they would let it breed. | ||
| Someone's writing a script as we speak. | ||
| You've never heard of this? | ||
| Is this real? | ||
| They really did this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is real. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| They really engineered this? | ||
| This is good. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| I mean, I got a lot of free time, but... | ||
| Man, in Sweden, there's a lot of good-looking people, man. | ||
| I've been there like three times, and every five minutes you see a supermodel. | ||
| I've seen some Mentos in Sweden. | ||
| Every five years, or every five minutes, that was the timing that I thought, because everywhere I would look, I was going to try to explain it to my friends. | ||
| I'm like, the only way you could explain it is that, on average, Every five minutes you see a supermodel. | ||
| You go to McDonald's and they're all amazing. | ||
| Sweden's government said on Wednesday that it had commissioned a study into why eugenics was involved in the country in the 19th and 20th centuries, leading to tens of thousands being sterilized by force. | ||
| I told you, man. | ||
| Sterilized being a euphemistic term for just killing it. | ||
| No, sterilized. | ||
| Sterilized. | ||
| Yeah, they clip your balls, man. | ||
| And it was based on your... | ||
| Remove a woman's ovaries. | ||
| But they did it... | ||
| Think about why they did it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They did it based on the shape of your face. | |
| They thought, based on the symmetry of your face, that you had good genes. | ||
| So one eye on the left check, one eye on the right check. | ||
| If you were ugly, you were not producing. | ||
| That's the way it was. | ||
| This is incredible. | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
| A fundamental aim is to find out what the society that had developed this eugenics mentality and established accepted scientific research in the area looked like. | ||
| The Swedish minister said in a statement. | ||
| And this is the social philosophy of eugenics which advocates the improvement of human hereditary traits through social intervention developed in Sweden and elsewhere in Europe during the 1800s before becoming the basis for widespread racial policies in the 20th century. | ||
| That's fucking incredible. | ||
| Incredible, right? | ||
| So that's why Steven Jello is so good looking, man. | ||
| Well, that's, you know, the worst thing anybody's ever said was Hitler had a great idea, but he just took it too far. | ||
| It's like the worst thing anybody ever said. | ||
| It's one of those things where you go, whoa, whoa, whoa. | ||
| You can't fucking say that. | ||
| You can't accept any of his ideas. | ||
| It's Hitler. | ||
| But this is what they're saying. | ||
| They're saying, like, this idea that human beings had to realize that people live and people die and the right way to move the species forward is to get the best one. | ||
| Well, you have to remember at the time when that was employed, To the ignorance. | ||
| Well, the climate going around. | ||
| There wasn't the communication available like, you know, the internet and the politics were obviously way up for fucking scoop. | ||
| What they don't understand is they're right and they're wrong at the same time. | ||
| They're right as a mathematical program. | ||
| They're wrong as a species. | ||
| The species, the merit should be to whatever the rest of the species finds, you know, attractive, finds what they're drawn to, whatever they like, whether it's blonde hair and blue eyes, whatever the Aryans were doing. | ||
| But we're one of the only very few species Does that even fucking take that into consideration? | ||
| Whereas other species of the animal fucking kingdom would just be like... | ||
| They would let it go. | ||
| Whatever, fuck it. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| The idea that we want to engineer it. | ||
| It's nonsense. | ||
| To me, it's just a massive form of control freakism, but it's based on science. | ||
| They're trying to make genetically the perfect species. | ||
| But I say that's ridiculous because it's not about that. | ||
| It's not about what looks the best, what's the most sexually attractive, what has the best... | ||
| A lot of it is about the brain. | ||
| A lot of it is about the mind and the mind's reaction to all the experiences of life and how the mind develops. | ||
| And the mind of a geek... | ||
| What, are you going to engineer all the geeks out? | ||
| You engineer all the geeks out. | ||
| The geeks shall fucking inherit the earth at the end of the fucking day. | ||
| They're on... | ||
| They're on the computer level. | ||
| They're attacking in the mental form. | ||
| The idea that you're going to eliminate the most progressive aspect of society, the people that are fluent in computer technology and creating infrastructure that this whole fucking internet runs on, the idea that you're going to eliminate them, that's silly. | ||
| That's so short-sighted. | ||
| It's so stupid. | ||
| We'd be like Idiocracy. | ||
| Well, you've engineered yourself into a corner. | ||
| Because you're attracted to broad cheeks, that's what everybody needs. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| If that was true, if eugenics was true, maybe on a physical sense, just pure physical, not emotional, not intellectual. | ||
| For a worker, it would be good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Think about it. | |
| For a sex worker. | ||
| Can I get a piss break? | ||
| Go through that door. | ||
| There's the last door on the left. | ||
| I like that you're still rocking the wallet chain. | ||
| I rock one as well. | ||
| This one today is leather, but oftentimes I wear steel. | ||
| Nice, man. | ||
| If my girlfriend's shitting in there, just pee on her. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yuck. | |
| Nice. | ||
| Now we're talking. | ||
| By the way, I got to talk about this because Eddie and I were talking about this on the way over. | ||
| There's an article on some internet. | ||
| What's the matter? | ||
| Is she coming back out? | ||
| Yeah, she's not really. | ||
| I think she's in the bathroom. | ||
| Is she really in there? | ||
| I think so, man. | ||
| Don't pee on that, man. | ||
| I'll just wait. | ||
| I'll wait. | ||
| What a man. | ||
| A gentleman. | ||
| You can pee on her. | ||
| We were talking about this. | ||
| There's some article about some porn star who made, apparently, she made a million dollars going to the Middle East and having sex with really rich guys. | ||
| They're all rich, royal guys. | ||
| And she talked about it, and she had this online interview where she was talking about all the different crazy shit they would make her do, like have sex with German Shepherds, drink a glass of cum. | ||
| One of them was they showed up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
German Shepherds? | |
| They all showed up. | ||
| This is so crazy, dude. | ||
| I just read this today. | ||
| She said they showed up. | ||
| They said it was supposed to be really kinky. | ||
| They didn't know what the fuck that meant. | ||
| She's like, I've seen it all. | ||
| They're on a boat. | ||
| They show up on a yacht. | ||
| There's all these dudes that are like 50. You know, the dudes say, all right, take your clothes off, start playing with yourself. | ||
| So they all say, all right, cool. | ||
| And then guys come along and start pissing on them. | ||
| And they want them to open up their mouth. | ||
| They want to piss in their mouth. | ||
| They start shitting on girls. | ||
| And some of the girls screamed, like, fuck this. | ||
| Like, you're not going to get paid. | ||
| You can go over there and sit and wait until we pull in the dock. | ||
| This is what we do. | ||
| And so that's what they do. | ||
| And they pay these people a fuckload of money and just piss on them and shit on them. | ||
| It's like, wow! | ||
| You gotta consider the health risk. | ||
| Damn, that's gotta be expensive. | ||
| Well, the urine is zero. | ||
| There's no risk. | ||
| But shit, there's a high risk. | ||
| Come on, it's... | ||
| You can drink people's piss and it's really not. | ||
| Dude, you know how much you gotta pay a bitch to shit on her? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's... | |
| You can't just do that for like a thousand dollars. | ||
| That's just not gonna happen. | ||
| It's a crazy thing of what one of the girls said. | ||
| One of the girls who was in there said that after you get shit on the third time, it's like no big deal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, damn. | |
| Like, she remembers like when she became numb. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| I would think... | ||
| I would think it would... | ||
| Some trillionaire shit on her chest. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta pay a bitch at least. | ||
| She's gotta be thinking like... | ||
| You know, 15, 20 grand cash. | ||
| Well, what this girl said was that in the article, what this girl said was that after whatever she's done over there for how long she did it, she had a million dollars in the bank and she was retiring. | ||
| She had a million dollars cash and she was done. | ||
| And she was like 28 years old or something like that. | ||
| I'm like, wow. | ||
| But she was like super honest about all the different shit they forced her to do. | ||
| And I was like, whoa. | ||
| You know, she thought she had, you know, doing porn and stuff. | ||
| She had like seen it all. | ||
| And she's like, you know, you get over there and they're making you fuck dogs. | ||
| Who's that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| Fucking dogs must be expensive. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| That's got to be... | ||
| That's fucking a dog. | ||
| How much? | ||
| Well, I don't know how long this broad was over there, but she said she made a million... | ||
| That's Miles' phone, if you hear that vibrating. | ||
| He's in the bathroom. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Russell's on his way, by the way. | ||
| If you lived in Dubai and you had all the money in the world, damn, you might have to just go right big. | ||
| Well, you don't tell him about it. | ||
| You can't tell them about it. | ||
| Tell them about what? | ||
| About they gotta fuck dogs until they get there. | ||
| Well, you know what I think? | ||
| I wouldn't say shit until they got there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I think? | |
| They start off with cats. | ||
| You know what I think? | ||
| You ease them into the dog. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can't talk about the dog in the email. | |
| You can't talk about fucking the dog that quick. | ||
| There might be some cat kissing. | ||
| They gotta see the money. | ||
| You show them a pile of money. | ||
| Stacks of hundreds, and then the dog comes. | ||
| Well, I think what happens is they get bored. | ||
| They get bored in what they can get these girls to do. | ||
| Oh, what the fuck did I just do? | ||
| And they start ramping it up. | ||
| We're talking about having sex with dogs. | ||
| We're talking about really rich dudes in the Middle East that pay. | ||
| There was a whole thing of them, like a network of them, but some girl busted it all out because she got caught with her laptop, and then the cat was out of the bag, and it turned out that a lot of these girls that were going over there to quote-unquote model We're actually going over there and they were like really famous girls like you know like you can find them on in movies and TV shows and stuff I think they just have bad fucking management you know what I mean because if you don't get those like the kind of points to find right you know no matter what the fuck it is you know if you're being paid over there to play music you | ||
| know I mean I've heard of like prolific DJs going out to countries you know what I mean and then they go and do the show as commissioned you know what I mean But literally, in some of these more volatile countries and shit like that, they would be like, dude, you're going to play this song, and you have to play this song, and if you don't, basically, we'll take you back and fucking fuck you up big time. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've heard of things. | ||
| They threaten dudes? | ||
| Oh, yeah, dude. | ||
| I even have some fucking horror stories. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What countries are the issues? | ||
| You can't talk about it? | ||
| With me? | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't want to disagree. | ||
| Have you ever heard of anybody in a country that you can talk about? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| A specific country? | ||
| No, I just don't want to go there. | ||
| But I'm just saying, let's just say, a dodgy country. | ||
| Okay, a dodgy country. | ||
| You go there, and you're asked to perform and all this stuff, and say you're known for something else, too, and that's not part of what you're contracted for. | ||
| So if you're Jamie Walker, and they want you to say, Dino Mike! | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Oh, you have to do it. | ||
| You have to fucking do it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And they're like, dude. | ||
| And then it gets gnarly, and you can say, look, dude, this isn't in the order, the work order kind of thing. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| They're like, we don't give a fuck, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just like that. | |
| Play Ghost and Stuff! | ||
| Yeah, like that. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| No, it's not that bad. | ||
| I do it anyway. | ||
| But, you know, like, say that. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| If I don't play Ghost and Stuff in a fucking said fucking place, you know, it gets really fucking gnarly. | ||
| And you're essentially out there on your fucking own, you know what I mean, with you and whoever you're with, your tour manager and shit like that. | ||
| So you don't exactly have a personal army to fucking back your shit up if you're, you know, being threatened to do something. | ||
| So sometimes you just... | ||
| Say, you know what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck it. | |
| Do it. | ||
| Because when you start to get in people's faces about, yo, dude, I'm done. | ||
| How much influence do people have? | ||
| Or do they, I should say, do they try to have when they book you for things? | ||
| Well, that's the funny thing. | ||
| There are kind of like two levels of the whole, at least with my experience of being a performer. | ||
| One is the gate for pay. | ||
| You know, you go, you know what you're getting into. | ||
| You go and you do it. | ||
| You just get out and that's it. | ||
| And then the other one's like, you know, you go there and then the rules change. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| But there's not much like, you know, of a dictator or mediator to come in and say, you know, hey, look, this isn't in this. | ||
| And, you know, you have to like go above and beyond and all this shit. | ||
| So you're playing for these people. | ||
| You know, first and foremost, when I go to play a show, I'm there for everyone that's there. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I'm not there for the fucking dickhead who may be paying me some insane figure to fucking be there, but the dickhead who does pay you some insane figure to fucking be there is like, you know, they take that big lump or whatever and say, this is my justification for making you my bitch. | ||
| Tonight. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And this is about me and my company and how we're going to do this show. | ||
| So I've been to that in very low levels. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| I've been there with clubs. | ||
| It happens low and high. | ||
| Yeah, we're like, dude, well, no, we just totally paid you to do this, so we own you. | ||
| But as long as you go in with the attitude, it's like, look, I'm going to go ahead and go do something extra anyway, but only because it's like, shit, dude, I see the whole first 20 rows of fucking smiley faces and they're all having fun despite all this bullshit that's going on between me and a promoter. | ||
| The thing about DJs and shit like that is that when they're starting out, you're always working for someone. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| No matter what, you're going to a club, you're playing for the club owner because he's the guy that's paying your fucking bill. | ||
| Is there a point where you turn your name? | ||
| Absolutely, because it becomes your production and it's your crew and it's your production company. | ||
| Like I said, signing a deal with Live Nation was the best thing I could have done for myself because Live Nation is huge. | ||
| Yeah, I work with them. | ||
| I do concerts through them. | ||
| They're awesome. | ||
| Right, but then it becomes your show. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| And so-and-so presents Joe fucking Rogan. | ||
| They're always cool. | ||
| The representatives are always really cool. | ||
| Yeah, and then you can always walk into a show, have a great fucking time. | ||
| Yeah, I get emails from random promoter dudes, and I'm like, I don't know you. | ||
| It might be great, but it could be uber sketchy, pain in the ass. | ||
| I've had those. | ||
| You can't get paid. | ||
| But you get to a point, too, where you can really know who's cool and not. | ||
| I have a dream team of promoters, and there are many of them, maybe 20 or 30, of dudes that I would even fucking hang with. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| And playing for those guys is always fun and great. | ||
| Yeah, I've got a bunch of those guys in Canada. | ||
| But you always get this one fucking dude, you know what I mean, who just puts in this insane offer, and of course, you know, your agency is just like, yeah, oh shit, dude, check out this fucking smash and grab. | ||
| All you have to do is this. | ||
| And then you show up, and then it's like, dude, you're my bitch, basically. | ||
| So you have to do this, you have to fucking do that, and here's your time slot, and I don't give a shit. | ||
| And then you're bummed out because of that, obviously. | ||
| But you're not bummed out because there are fuck-tons of fucking kids that came to fucking see you. | ||
| And that's the only thing that really kind of makes it all worthwhile. | ||
| Well, so when you get into a situation like that, what is the big toss-up over? | ||
| Is it the set list? | ||
| Is it, you know, like, this is my type of music, this is what the kids want to hear? | ||
| Yeah, sometimes. | ||
| It used to be. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Until I kind of made my own thing. | ||
| And that's obviously what they're buying in the first place. | ||
| So they're never going to question you on that. | ||
| But it's usually just some kind of time constraint or something where they get other acts to. | ||
| And like I said, the funnier... | ||
| The easier it gets is when you just say, you know what? | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| Let everyone do what they want. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| If fucking DJ Super Awesome wants to cut my set by 15 minutes, and then... | ||
| You know, early in your career, it's always a pissing contest and it's always like, no, no, I'm not doing it. | ||
| If that's not happening, then I'm not going on. | ||
| If they cut me this much, I'm not going on. | ||
| And you see it a lot. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| But then you get to a point where it's like, all right, let them. | ||
| Let them. | ||
| You know, because you can always explain this shit. | ||
| And one of the beautiful things I find with my, you know, horde of fucking fans is that I can always just tell it how it is. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Well, you have the opportunity now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I always, you know, and I kind of always tried. | ||
| I always did. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So then if everyone says, well, dude, you know, why did you get canceled at this? | ||
| And then I can just say, look, look. | ||
| You can make a blog entry. | ||
| Absolutely explain yourself. | ||
| You don't have to wait for a reporter to contact you. | ||
| And you don't got to bullshit anyone. | ||
| Yeah, you know what I mean? | ||
| You just tell it right there. | ||
| And then it's, well, listen, I really apologize, but it's because of this is why we couldn't do this. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, and then the more laid back you are when it comes to that stuff, and this is really good advice, especially for like, I don't want to categorize them, but like C-list guys that wanted, you know, that get put on these massive bills with like tons of fucking dudes. | ||
| You know, it's just not to be all like super... | ||
| You know, litigious and weird and antsy and just aggro in general about, you know, what time you're given. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because, you know, the more relaxed you are about it, you know, the better. | ||
| Just get the fucking job done. | ||
| Dude, you're mirroring stand-up comedy. | ||
| I mean, it must be the exact same mentality in the rising comedian as it is in the rising electronic DJ. It's the same story. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| You have to listen to people until everybody's coming to see you. | ||
| And then you don't have to listen to anybody anymore. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It's the same thing. | ||
| And then it's just all out, and then it's you and them, and not you, them, and this third party. | ||
| And the attitude you have about doing shows with a gang of other people about, you know, your time's your time, don't worry about all that, don't be so locked up and rigid, let it go, and then just go up when you go up and do your shit. | ||
| Yeah, and if you don't And if something epically fucked up so bad, you can always just say. | ||
| Explain it. | ||
| Yeah, you explain it. | ||
| Look, it fucked up so bad because this fucking dickhead brought all this shit, and that's what it was. | ||
| There's a lot of conflict when acts tour together. | ||
| The only time I ever toured with anybody, I toured with John Heffron and Charlie Murphy. | ||
| And one time, we were all doing different... | ||
| Charlie Murphy was headlining one night, and then I would headline the next night. | ||
| And no matter what happened, Charlie Murphy never gave a fuck. | ||
| There could be some crazy... | ||
| The room could have gone on fire for half an hour. | ||
| But did it take you a while to learn that, though? | ||
| For him, no, man. | ||
| No, for you. | ||
| For me, yeah, definitely. | ||
| You know, it took me a while, too. | ||
| It took me a while to learn how to relax. | ||
| I still don't know it. | ||
| I get it, and then I lose it. | ||
| It's like sand slipping through my fingers. | ||
| I learned from a DJ, Nick Fanciulli, who just always said to me, he just would always say, the only thing ever out of this guy's fucking mouth was, dude, relax. | ||
| Yeah, he's right. | ||
| Yeah, he's totally fucking right. | ||
| He's totally right. | ||
| You know, it's just relax if you've done the work. | ||
| You know, you say relax if you're ready. | ||
| Relax if you've done the work, which you should be. | ||
| You're a fucking professional in whatever you're doing. | ||
| But yeah, I kid when I say that I don't really have control of it because I don't ever want to believe that I have control of it because I don't want to sleep. | ||
| I don't want to rest on it and let it creep up on me and burn the house down. | ||
| You know, the human mind is a very fucking tricky thing, man. | ||
| It's got to be kept on point and always on its tippy toes. | ||
| You know, but that feeling of, it's a very frustrating feeling of having somebody else trying to influence what the fuck you're trying to do. | ||
| You know, when you're coming up as a digital artist, as a comedian, I think as anything, people want to define you and they have their own ideas. | ||
| And the same thing that made you not be a good website designer, you're like, bitch, if I want to do it in blue, it's going to be blue. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| That's like your music, you know? | ||
| And that's how you have to be as a comedian, too, I think. | ||
| They're very much the same. | ||
| It's like in order to really get your point across, you have to have a solitary vision, you know? | ||
| Do you have a crew as far as what we hear from you musically? | ||
| Musically? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, musically I really like to kind of just run the show there. | ||
| But I have a crew for the show. | ||
| For the show. | ||
| Who helped me with the visuals, the technology, the cube stuff, all the LED mouse head stuff. | ||
| So you program everything and come up with everything and you record everything and produce everything? | ||
| Musically, yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it's fun, you know, like, and that's kind of what kind of got it all started for me. | ||
| You know, I didn't come out of the gate as, you know, the purveyor and awesome play button pusher of other people's work. | ||
| Most of your stuff, original music or sampled half and half? | ||
| No, never sampled. | ||
| Everything's original. | ||
| Yeah, I really like to do that and just keep it that way. | ||
| Just, you know, obviously for the whole like, well, we don't have to pay out fucking serious like sync fees or licensing or buying the rights to, you know, make a derivative work of something that's already been done. | ||
| That's something I like really like to avoid. | ||
| So you've never sampled anything? | ||
| No. | ||
| Well, yeah, I have, actually. | ||
| I have sampled a couple things, but they were just little boutique tracks that never really went out and made it big. | ||
| Are there any samples that you've heard in your head that you wanted to sample, but you're like, fuck, it's too much of a headache to... | ||
| Well, it's never a headache to do it. | ||
| It's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is permission most times. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| What happens when MC Hammer makes a song like, can't touch this? | ||
| Well, then do as fucking directed. | ||
| You can't touch it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| That's like the ultimate anti-sample right there. | ||
| Do you like mashups? | ||
| Do you enjoy mashups? | ||
| Hold on, hold on. | ||
| Answer the question. | ||
| What happens there? | ||
| Who gets the money? | ||
| Who gets the money? | ||
| If I remix, you can't touch this. | ||
| If I take you can't touch this and put this in the dance track and do that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| That's not what I'm saying. | ||
| You can't touch this is Rick James. | ||
| She's super free. | ||
| Well, he couldn't touch it. | ||
| He's saying the same thing. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I'm saying that track, that riff. | ||
| That's a Rick James riff. | ||
| That's a derivative work. | ||
| Completely. | ||
| Okay, so how does that work? | ||
| Rick James gets money for that, right? | ||
| There are some laws that would dictate that it's a cover. | ||
| As opposed to a direct sampling of the recording. | ||
| Now, these laws are still not even close to, you know, super defined. | ||
| You know, so it's always a case. | ||
| It's always a musicologist involved, especially with like Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby, which was another excellent. | ||
| And his whole defense to all that was it's not... | ||
| He was like, no, it's... | ||
| I'm like, wow. | ||
| That's your defense. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's ridiculous. | |
| There are certain things you can get away with. | ||
| There used to be a general apply rule where you could say, okay, well then fine. | ||
| No more than three seconds should be the rule. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And then it's obviously changed because people can recreate the exact same thing just as easily. | ||
| Tabata is like the constant. | ||
| Those songs piss me off. | ||
| You're just making me think of some cool old song that I used to like. | ||
| I would still just call it a remix. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's a remix. | ||
| Remake, remix, cover, all that stuff. | ||
| I actually recently did a cover of a Radiohead song, Codex, off of The King of Limbs. | ||
| Now, the way that I did that is, you know, I'm a huge Radiohead fan. | ||
| So I kind of took it as myself as an exercise to, you know, see if I could reproduce it as close as possible, minus obviously his fucking amazing vocal and all that shit, because I can't sing for a fuck. | ||
| So, you know, I remade his track and threw it up on SoundCloud, you know, just kind of like, you know, with a huge disclaimer saying, dude, this is not theirs, this is not a remix. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Just an artistic exercise. | ||
| Replayed the whole thing as an artistic exercise. | ||
| And, you know, I don't plan on monitorizing all that. | ||
| Actually, I plan on anything was just getting, you know, fucking, yo, Tom York, what up? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So I do a lot of things like that, and I've done it with Boards of Canada, who are this Scottish group that I absolutely love. | ||
| But as long as I don't go like, hey, yeah, this is going to be on my next album. | ||
| Check it out. | ||
| And kind of sort of sell people on the vibe that, oh, this is my big thing. | ||
| This is original. | ||
| Because how many Vanilla Ice fans fucking albeit 16 to 20 years old and even knew who the fucking Eurythmics was? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Right. | ||
| So that could have been... | ||
| It was David Bowie and Mick Jagger, wasn't it? | ||
| Under Pressure? | ||
| Queen. | ||
| It was Queen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, fuck. | |
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| You're with me. | ||
| I don't know what I'm thinking about. | ||
| Sweet dreams. | ||
| It was Queen. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Who the fuck gets the money for that, though? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, that's... | |
| Did they go to court over that? | ||
| Yeah, they sit down. | ||
| They probably got permission for that. | ||
| Do you remember the Verve? | ||
| You remember that song, Bittersweet Symphony? | ||
| Apparently, they lost all their money to the Rolling Stones. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| They took the music. | ||
| Without asking. | ||
| Usually, in rap, it's very acceptable to sample music and then just rap over it. | ||
| But no one really has sampled music and sung over it. | ||
| So Verve was like, we're sampling shit. | ||
| Is that what they did? | ||
| Yeah, not rap. | ||
| They sampled it? | ||
| They just took the Rolling Stones music? | ||
| It was amazing either way. | ||
| I'm telling you, dude, I've had motherfuckers take whole songs of mine and not change a thing except for like a speed or a pitch of it. | ||
| And then pass it off as, hey, this is my new thing. | ||
| With no even, and oh, this is Deadmau5's track. | ||
| And you're always going to fucking get that. | ||
| You can't focus on those guys. | ||
| Dude, fucking bitch is going to fucking bite your jokes. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You're just going to get that. | ||
| But you know Doug Stanhope? | ||
| Do you know Doug Stanhope? | ||
| I don't know shit. | ||
| Doug Stanhope's a hilarious comedian. | ||
| And some guy was taking his bits and verbatim writing them out as if they're blog entries. | ||
| Like word for word. | ||
| Brilliant drunken ramblings on society and culture. | ||
| Oh shit! | ||
| Hey, Russell P in the place to be. | ||
| Hey, why aren't you at the Junos? | ||
| My brother. | ||
| It's Zimmerman! | ||
| Russell Peters has just entered the building. | ||
|
unidentified
|
With... | |
| Hi, I'm Eddie. | ||
| Hey, Eddie. | ||
| There's some... | ||
| People here, and everyone's saying hi. | ||
| You know, your brother worked on my Christmas special. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, Chris? | |
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No shit! | |
| He was a fucking grip on it. | ||
| Oh, sweet. | ||
| See, these Canadians, man, when they get together, all of a sudden... | ||
| Hey, your brother, my brother worked on his show. | ||
| Canadians love Canadians. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| You know what? | ||
| That guy just made my fucking day. | ||
| Because my brother, God bless him, you know, he's not successful, he's not, like, wide-known, but he really wants to get into film and television and gripping and all that stuff. | ||
| And I didn't even know he fucking did that. | ||
| And now that you said that, I gotta call my brother. | ||
| Russell Peters, one of the greatest humans. | ||
| Just totally gave you a fucking big up. | ||
| With mice on them. | ||
| Russell Peters is one of the greatest humans that's ever lived. | ||
| I love this guy. | ||
| Let's keep this. | ||
| Have a beer, my brother. | ||
| I'll drink beer, but fuck it. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Salute. | ||
| I don't drink beer, but fuck it. | ||
| Salute. | ||
| Is there any more Coronas left? | ||
| Yeah, here's one. | ||
| Oh, no, it's mine. | ||
| You don't want my spit, brother. | ||
| We'll get some more. | ||
| We'll get some more for you. | ||
| Give me a list of the bands that influenced you musically. | ||
| Russell Peters in the fucking house! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know why I came to? | |
| These two guys, Justin, Blaze and Breezy. | ||
| They're my homeboys from Brooklyn. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He got a hard when he heard you were gonna be here. | |
| He's the producer too. | ||
| Blaze, that's Breezy. | ||
| Only two black dudes can walk in and be called Blade and Breezy and nobody freaks out. | ||
| Blazing Breezy and nobody... | ||
| Did we lose the video? | ||
| Dude, I had an epic black eye freakout at my house. | ||
| I'm doing renovations right now. | ||
| An epic black eye freakout? | ||
| Dude, it was fucking hilarious. | ||
| It was these... | ||
| Because I have about 16 construction workers all just kind of in and out of the house for the last six months because I'm doing a big renovation, right? | ||
| So I don't know any of them and all this stuff. | ||
| And I'm only home for like two days, right? | ||
| So they start at 9am, but no one told me this shit, right? | ||
| So the biggest fucking black dude just kind of walks in, and I don't know what to fucking, because I wasn't expecting anyone, but he was like one of the people working on the studio and stuff like that, and I just kind of stopped. | ||
| He didn't knock, he just kind of busted in like he would, because I wasn't there. | ||
| So he was supposed to do that. | ||
| And I just like kind of froze for a bit because like, dude, this dude's just walking into my fucking house. | ||
| And so I turn around. | ||
| I'm like, dude, can I help you? | ||
| And he's like, what? | ||
| Yeah, I'm supposed to be working on your place. | ||
| And then it clicked, right? | ||
| And then I was like, oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, okay. | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And then all of a sudden, all the other fucking dudes caught on to me, you know, calling this guy, you know, as he's walking into my fucking house. | ||
| And he went, oh yeah, the big black dude fucking walks into your fucking place. | ||
| You're freaking out. | ||
| Oh, you thought he was going to rob you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no, no. | |
| I was like, no, dude. | ||
| You just turned on your Canadian accent. | ||
| He really sounded fucking Canadian. | ||
| Yeah, he really did. | ||
| Dude, I was like... | ||
| What? | ||
| You're talking a different black dude. | ||
| You're talking black Canadians, which are completely different guys. | ||
| Those are Brooklyn black guys. | ||
| Black Canadians are the nicest people ever. | ||
| Is this house in Canada? | ||
| They're like David Loazzo. | ||
| Yeah, but he was really fucked up. | ||
| I mean, could you imagine? | ||
| I shit you not. | ||
| I was sitting in my boxers on the fucking computer. | ||
| Were you ready to run or were you ready to fight? | ||
| What were you thinking? | ||
| I wasn't thinking nothing. | ||
| I was just looking at him. | ||
| I'm like, dude, can I help you? | ||
| He was thinking... | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was thinking his next beat... | |
| He was thinking... | ||
| Yeah, that's a fucking freaky moment. | ||
| When anybody's in your house, you're not prepared. | ||
| Especially a big black guy. | ||
| Was this in Canada or here? | ||
| Yeah, in Toronto. | ||
| Are you in Toronto or are you in St. Cath? | ||
| No, Toronto. | ||
| I live in Toronto. | ||
| Alright, don't get crazy. | ||
| Slow it down there, mouse. | ||
| Yo, watch out. | ||
| I live in Toronto. | ||
| Slow it down there, angry rat. | ||
| Toronto's a badass city, man. | ||
| I fucking love Toronto. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Toronto loves Joe Rogan and Eddie Bravo. | |
| I did a comedy club there. | ||
| It was a pot shop, and people were allowed to smoke weed as the show was going on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't want to say the name. | ||
| I don't want to even say where it is. | ||
| The Rivoli. | ||
| You go there. | ||
| It's like a bong shop. | ||
| They take in this back room, and there's not a fan in the place. | ||
| There's no air. | ||
| There's no air. | ||
| The whole place is just... | ||
| Gray, man. | ||
| It's like you're flying through the clouds. | ||
| It was ridiculous. | ||
| It's called Cafe Contact High. | ||
| It was the most ridiculous environment I've ever been a part of. | ||
| We know it. | ||
| It's called Henry's Hot Box. | ||
| Russell Peters comes with a goddamn posse. | ||
| He's not fucking around. | ||
| I had to roll deep. | ||
| That's Dylan Garcia. | ||
| And you know Jesus, don't you? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Jesus Trejo. | ||
| They're both comics. | ||
| How you guys doing? | ||
| Jesus is from the comedy store. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Russell Peters does not travel by himself. | ||
| Do you have a tour bus or some shit? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| He came in two cars, fool. | ||
| Are you just in L.A. hanging out? | ||
| I live here. | ||
| You live here. | ||
| He's Indian, man. | ||
| You don't know Russell Peters is Indian. | ||
| Are you on the O.1 or are you like U.S. resident? | ||
| I thought he was Mexican. | ||
| Cardi was saying that we were going to hook up one day. | ||
| You have a green card and you still buy houses in America? | ||
| You're a savage. | ||
| You don't give a fuck. | ||
| If I didn't know for sure if I'd get into Canada... | ||
| I had to buy my ex-wife a house for fuck's sake. | ||
| Stop it, please. | ||
|
unidentified
|
X? X? How long? | |
| When did this happen? | ||
| How long? | ||
| How long? | ||
| How long you been? | ||
| She gets the house Wednesday. | ||
| Wednesday. | ||
| We had a conversation about this about a year ago. | ||
| You knew it was coming. | ||
| Yeah, come on, son. | ||
| We had a conversation a year ago. | ||
| Russell Peters was preparing for impact. | ||
| He was putting helmets on and shit. | ||
| I had my head between my legs. | ||
| Elbow pads. | ||
| He knew it was coming. | ||
| He knew the rocks were there. | ||
| I knew that my seat was a flotation device. | ||
| That boat was hitting the rocks, son. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| There's no doubt about it. | ||
| Hey, it is what it is, right? | ||
| It all worked out great. | ||
| It's all works. | ||
| You're Russell Peters. | ||
| You win. | ||
| We're actually cooler now than we were when we were together. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| She'll probably love you now. | ||
| She'll respect you that you got away from her bullshit. | ||
| Sometimes girls need that and then when they're in a situation where you cannot ever leave, like we have a child together. | ||
| There's girls that abuse guys because they're constantly in this psychological drama, this seesaw battle of putting guys on the defensive so the guy proves that he's a man. | ||
| Like, I dated a girl that always wanted to fight, and I was like, look, I can't do this anymore. | ||
| She left, and then she started dating some other dude and did the same goddamn thing. | ||
| And then I had a conversation. | ||
| Well, better him than you, right? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But, I mean, as a person, I liked her as a person. | ||
| I was like, what do you think's going on? | ||
| She's like, I can't help it. | ||
| I have to push a guy. | ||
| She goes, it's like, it's in me. | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| I want to push him into a corner, and I want to get him to tell me to shut the fuck up. | ||
| I want to know that he's willing to walk away from me. | ||
| Otherwise, I can't respect him. | ||
| Well, you can't walk away when you have a kid. | ||
| When you get one of those crazy bitches pregnant, that's what happens. | ||
| They're stuck in a goddamn circuit loop. | ||
| It turns out mine was only crazy because of the hormones from being pregnant and postpartum. | ||
| Oh, that's terrible. | ||
| But by that time, I had already fucking checked out, so it was too late. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| But you know the ironic part? | ||
| She's a big Deadmau5 fan, and that's... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| That's sad. | ||
| Well, if you know that, man, why don't you guys try to get back together again? | ||
| No, no, because I'm not into it. | ||
| I'll get her tickets. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you beyond the point? | |
| Are you guys friends still? | ||
| We're cool, we're cool. | ||
| But you really loved her when you first met her, right? | ||
| No, no, it was a rebound chick. | ||
| Oh, snap. | ||
| Honesty fills the airways with truth. | ||
| Hey, why aren't you at the Junos this year? | ||
| Because they got Shatner hosting it this year. | ||
| I know. | ||
| How dope is that? | ||
| That is still pretty cool. | ||
| Are you there this year? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| What are you guys talking about? | ||
| What the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| Junos. | ||
| What is a Juno? | ||
| Junos is a Canadian Grammy. | ||
| Okay, no one knows that. | ||
| You know, the ironic thing is he's a Jew and no one knows that. | ||
| Here's the ironic thing. | ||
| He's a Jew and I have a Junos. | ||
| Isn't that fucked up? | ||
| I'm only Jewish when I'm in Hollywood. | ||
| Don't expect gold. | ||
| It's late, and I'm drinking beer, which I don't drink. | ||
| What did you drink? | ||
| What would you like? | ||
| Can we get him alcohol in some form? | ||
| There's only one amp. | ||
| Hey, you're next to the alcohol. | ||
| You're next to the alcohol right there. | ||
| Oh, we got some stuff over there. | ||
| You don't want this Crown Royal. | ||
| Trust me, man. | ||
| This will fucking melt your tires. | ||
| Hey, Breezy, can you hit the bar for me out there? | ||
| How old is that crown? | ||
| It's pretty new. | ||
| It's pretty new, but I'm telling you, it's so nasty. | ||
| Hey, Joe, you have the other stuff in there. | ||
| Oh, yeah, the shit that Ronda Rousey got. | ||
| The Glendales. | ||
| Where is that? | ||
| The Glendales. | ||
| What is it, Armenian? | ||
| Yeah, Armenian. | ||
| For real, yeah. | ||
| Man, don't make fun of Armenians, bro. | ||
| I love Armenians. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Joe just loves Armenians. | ||
| Armenians are my people. | ||
| We're both hairy motherfuckers, so we have to respect Armenians. | ||
| Well, we're very similar in genome. | ||
| Italian, Indian, Armenians. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| We are genetically predisposed to not being follically challenged. | ||
| They hooked me up with some fucking badass cognac. | ||
| Damn, that's an exo shit. | ||
| Cognac. | ||
| It's really good, man. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| Ronda Rousey came over, and the Armos sent this over with her. | ||
| She said, the Armenians love me, and they love when I talk good about Armenians. | ||
| So I'll talk good about Armenians the day I die. | ||
| When a grown man buys me a bottle of Courvoisier, he got me. | ||
| You will choke a Turk out for an Armenian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is that? | |
| Is it cognac? | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| It's some badass drink. | ||
| It's XO. It's the good shit. | ||
| It's the good shit. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| What kind of an alcohol is that? | ||
| It's Martel Cognac. | ||
| It's the XO, though. | ||
| So that's the good stuff. | ||
| It is pretty fucking good. | ||
| You can tell by how fancy the bottle is. | ||
| I was about to drink out of this, Brian, until I saw goddamn pot crumbs in there. | ||
| You did that. | ||
| Son of a bitch. | ||
| I've watched you do it. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| Oh, it's this stack. | ||
| It was the wrong stack. | ||
| I thought you threw some shit in my clean stack. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Because I looked at the stack. | ||
| I'm like, your stack's clean. | ||
| You asked weed into that. | ||
| A thousand apologies. | ||
| Do you like mashups? | ||
| Do you enjoy when people do videos? | ||
| I like it when people that don't do it, do it. | ||
| I don't like people that shouldn't do it, do it. | ||
| I hate that. | ||
| Do you enjoy Party Ben, Girl Talk, or any of those guys? | ||
| Girl Talk's not a fucking DJ. Hold on a second. | ||
| This guy, by the way, you should have been here earlier because he completely mirrors your sentiments on the whole DJ. What is the definition of DJ? He's an electronic artist. | ||
| Yeah, that's how I look at you. | ||
| Russell's a discs guy. | ||
| You know that, right? | ||
| He's a DJ. Do you know that? | ||
| Do I know what? | ||
| That I've been DJing since 85. Have you really? | ||
| Back in the day. | ||
| Back in the Wolfman Jack days. | ||
| He's really good. | ||
| I was on the radio back in the day. | ||
| Me and Mastermind, we had the hip-hop show. | ||
| No shit! | ||
| On energy, 108. We had the hip-hop show and I was the DJ in the background. | ||
| You know Williams, Wayne Williams. | ||
| Oh, he was horrible. | ||
| He's a horrible human. | ||
| No, no, I'm good, I'm good, thanks. | ||
| I'll gun it. | ||
| Yeah, go for it. | ||
| Breezy's going to get me a drink. | ||
| Do you want some cognac? | ||
| You want some cognac? | ||
| Cheers, guys. | ||
| This is cognac. | ||
| Yeah, because you're from... | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God. | |
| Fuck! | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| Woo! | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I love the occasional Jimi Hendrix mashup. | ||
| The Jay-Z Jimi Hendrix mashup of Girl Problems and Voodoo Child. | ||
| That is the shit. | ||
| Well, my favorite mashup was the Grey album. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That was great as well. | ||
| All-time favorite mashup. | ||
| That was great as well. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| You know, mashups can be done in such an artistic way that it's fucking cool. | ||
| What about Bed-Stuy meets Blue Eyes? | ||
| No. | ||
| It depends on how it's done. | ||
| That was not bad. | ||
| That was not bad. | ||
| Anything with Biggie. | ||
| I love anything with Biggie. | ||
| I'm such a big Biggie fan. | ||
| See, but when I was growing up, they weren't called mashups. | ||
| They were just called mixes. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It was like growing up, you would take whatever fucking acapella record they had because it was hard to get acapellas back then. | ||
| So if a record had an acapella, you would fuck with it with however many beats you could find that would match that acapella. | ||
| Like I would play Sweetheart by Rainy Davis. | ||
| And I would find as many fucking beats that would go with Sweetheart back in the day. | ||
| And you would try and change them as fast as you could. | ||
| And that was the challenge because you'd have to dig the record out, cue it up, and you didn't have the fucking BPMs in front of you. | ||
| There was no sync button. | ||
| It's too susceptible to train wrecking, though. | ||
| That's the problem with mash-ups. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You could totally just mash something up and it sounds like shit. | ||
| There's very few people who have a perception of music the way he does. | ||
| It's almost creepy. | ||
| Like, you have a smell that I don't have. | ||
| I am a creeper. | ||
| We played music. | ||
| We played some music. | ||
| And he goes, oh, there's Salt-N-Pepa in there. | ||
| There's Salt-N-Pepa. | ||
| And we're like, what the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| We had to listen to it like a hundred times and break it down. | ||
| He's like, stop this spot right here. | ||
| And we're like, oh, yeah, wow. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| How did you even pick that out, man? | ||
| Like, if you sampled a snare, I'd probably be able to go, I know where that snare is from. | ||
| Yeah, he'll call the song. | ||
| It's really bizarre, man. | ||
| It's a weird trait. | ||
| It's still prevailing in music today, even, with even the latest and greatest electronic music, because you hear this one little sample or snare or something like that, and it's off another dude's shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And you can pick it out. | ||
| So that's kind of when I stop fucking listening to music. | ||
| Because I find that I'm analyzing. | ||
| It's like, where did he get that? | ||
| Instead of just enjoying it? | ||
| Because Homeboy wasn't in the back fucking hitting a snare on a mic. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's just incestual ripping. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| You can rip anything you want. | ||
| As long as it's good, right? | ||
| If you have the talent to put together the melodies that are magical and resonate with the planet, that's the talent, right? | ||
| Whether you rip it off, whether you sample it, can you put together this unique little piece of art that's going to resonate with the world? | ||
| It doesn't work that way with comedy, doesn't it, Russell P? There's a couple of comics who do the collage, the best of shows. | ||
| It's not their best of. | ||
| Our business has a different code. | ||
| Take my wife, please. | ||
| You gotta come up with your own riffs. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty awful. | ||
| And it's not getting any better out there. | ||
| Well, it is, and it isn't. | ||
| You know what the fucked up thing is? | ||
| It comes in cycles, I think. | ||
| Do you ever write a great joke, and then you think, there's no way nobody did that? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| I fucking think of jokes, and I'm so happy with it. | ||
| And then as soon as I get happy with it, I go, I'm sure some fucking guy said that already. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Well, you know, I had a bit that was on one of my CDs and I didn't find out until like four years later that Ellen DeGeneres had a bit just like that. | ||
| I did that in a special I did in 97. I did a joke about throwing a fucking chocolate bar into a swimming pool. | ||
| Or into a toilet. | ||
| Or just mashing it up. | ||
| I can't remember the fuck. | ||
| It was horrible. | ||
| And then Howie Mandel was like, you know, I did that, right? | ||
| I'm like, son of a bitch. | ||
| And it was worse because Howie did it and Howie and I are friends and he's Canadian. | ||
| So it was like, it looks like I stole from my own fucking people. | ||
| Well, the only thing you don't have to worry about with Howie is he's not going to kick your ass because he won't touch you. | ||
| Yeah, it's true. | ||
| He's terrified of touching people. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| So you can be like, what, bitch? | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| Fucking shake my hand? | ||
| Just start sneezing. | ||
| Ah, two! | ||
| He'll just run away from you, man. | ||
| You never have to worry about him kicking your ass. | ||
| He won't even shake your hand. | ||
| Have we talked about Anonymous on the show yet? | ||
| What if him and Howie Mandel met up? | ||
| Oh, look at you. | ||
| It's like watching you DJ right now. | ||
| How dare you. | ||
| I think that's cool. | ||
| Keep that on. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| What are you talking about, Joe? | ||
| We love Anonymous. | ||
| We love 4chan. | ||
| We love everyone. | ||
| That's why I said it's cool. | ||
| What's Anonymous? | ||
| I don't know about Anonymous. | ||
| I'm just writing this shit so they don't take my website down. | ||
| He's an English historian. | ||
| I paid a lot for that.com. | ||
| I need to see it get it taken down. | ||
| Hey, digital mafia rules. | ||
| Well, it's mostly like young hacker kids, right? | ||
| I mean, what is anonymous? | ||
| I like what you said. | ||
| Anonymous is about like fucking 12 dudes. | ||
| Exactly, exactly. | ||
| They've done some crazy shit lately. | ||
| I've been reading your Anon news, and I'm like reading some historical shit. | ||
| I'm like, we just knocked down Syria's fucking government website. | ||
| I'm like, did they really do that? | ||
| Yeah, they can do that. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Well, this is how it works, man. | ||
| In real simple terms, every website is on servers, and every server can only take so many hits at the same time. | ||
| Can I just say that I'm excited that Eddie Bravo's here? | ||
| It's in the house. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I'm excited about that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Joe, you know what sucks, though, is that I... Yeah, but not like your level. | |
| I recently got hacked by Xbox. | ||
| As a guy, I'm like... | ||
| You mean on Xbox? | ||
| Your Xbox account got hacked? | ||
| My account on Xbox got hacked. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And what sucks is that a lot of people are getting hacked on Xbox. | ||
| And instead of Sony PlayStation who announced it to everybody, like, hey, we got hacked and blah, blah, blah. | ||
| Xbox is covering the shit up. | ||
| And if you go on Twitter, I said I got hacked. | ||
| And all these people are like, so did I, so did I, so did I, so did I. And then you go to Kotaku and Joystick, and they're like, yeah. | ||
| What they're doing is... | ||
| In Poland, people are... | ||
| They're hacking Xboxes, and then they're fucking adding all these charges. | ||
| They're getting all these gamer points. | ||
| And then using EA has for Fifi soccer. | ||
| They have these things that they can exchange points for these game cards, like baseball cards or whatever. | ||
| But there's this whole thing going on. | ||
| And the crazy thing is that I told Xbox, and I'm like, hey, I got hacked. | ||
| And they're making this huge, like, I can't go online right now. | ||
| I can't do anything right now. | ||
| You can't go online? | ||
| No. | ||
| You mean with Xbox? | ||
| Xbox. | ||
| But listen to this. | ||
| I told them three days ago I got hacked, and I'm still getting charges on my checking account. | ||
| People are still charging, charging, charging, charging. | ||
| And I told Xbox, I'm like, hey, stop. | ||
| Take my PayPal. | ||
| Take my Visa. | ||
| Take everything off my account. | ||
| Take my money. | ||
| And they won't do it. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because they want to research where the money's coming from. | ||
| So they're using my money. | ||
| They're using my money as a research tool. | ||
| Are they going to reimburse you? | ||
| I'm sure they will, but they're not going to reimburse all the bills that are bouncing right now. | ||
| Fuck you, Xbox. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| That was a strong statement. | ||
| And you said it like you ran out of breath, too. | ||
| It was like you reached the end of your life. | ||
| You're really playing on the odds that one out of the ten fucking anon... | ||
| Don't work for fucking Xbox. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| I know. | ||
| That's risky. | ||
| I wouldn't double down on that. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| There's an inside job going on in Xbox. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| You think someone on the inside is jacking people? | ||
| Speaking of my ex's box, she's moving on. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Too soon. | ||
| Russell Peters, stand-up comedian. | ||
| Here's the beautiful thing about Anonymous. | ||
| I did two shows and I'm drunk. | ||
| What do you want from me? | ||
|
unidentified
|
My Ex's Box. | |
| Beautiful. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I wouldn't want nothing else. | ||
| You're perfect. | ||
| Don't change. | ||
| The beautiful thing about Anonymous is that everything's anonymous. | ||
| Just like Fight Club, there's people working at Ex's Box. | ||
| So what, are we supposed not to fucking talk about it then? | ||
| Occasionally people are going to get arrested. | ||
| The beauty of Anonymous is what it represents is the future of government. | ||
| That's what it represents. | ||
| The government is going to be the will of the people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, awesome. | |
| The government is going to be, what, 10 dudes fucking who really know security. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's great, because I know 10 dudes who are really into politics. | |
| That's not what I'm saying. | ||
| It represents the will of the people. | ||
| When they're doing something, when they're taking down a government website because of the National Defense Authorization Act, what they're doing is they're essentially making a stand for the people. | ||
| They're saying, listen, the internet does not like this. | ||
| Right. | ||
| The internet gets behind it, and then you see bills like SOPA get taken down, you go, whoa, the internet has a say. | ||
| The internet has a say. | ||
| And there's people that are extremists on the internet, and that's what anonymous is. | ||
| They're the craziest soldiers at the front of the line that are willing to do nutty shit, like take down the CIA website. | ||
| Is it 100,000 people? | ||
| It doesn't have to be. | ||
| It could be three. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| What they represent as anonymous individuals are the will of the entire group on the internet. | ||
| They don't do shit that people hate. | ||
| Anonymous is never doing shit that people are really mad at. | ||
| No. | ||
| Have you ever noticed? | ||
| They get creepy and they put, you know, they call themselves anonymous, they'll get people's personal information online. | ||
| That's them douchebags. | ||
| But the reality of the ethics behind the group is that they're trying to take down corruption. | ||
| They're trying to step in and stop shit. | ||
| They're trying to pick up where WikiLeaks got tripped up because there was a public figure. | ||
| Right, but at what point do you think that they'll kind of curb that as not to become the dictators themselves? | ||
| Who is they? | ||
| That's the issue. | ||
| The issue is who is they. | ||
| As long as there's no true organization and it really does represent the people, then the internet will be truly democratic. | ||
| Yes and no. | ||
| You're saying they may become evil. | ||
| Right now they're doing... | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| And then all of a sudden, okay, so fine. | ||
| So let's take Anon, right? | ||
| And let's put him in power. | ||
| No, well, no one's saying that. | ||
| The idea is that no one's in power. | ||
| The idea is we've got to get to a certain point in time, we realize it's a global government. | ||
| I think we should have Anonymous' power. | ||
| We should have the internet be power. | ||
| We should have voting online. | ||
| We should have everything. | ||
| The internet is a global government. | ||
| The internet is a global government. | ||
| So it only takes three or four fucking dudes to go and change a ballot. | ||
| I get that. | ||
| Well, that's true, but who are those three or four dudes? | ||
| We gotta eliminate the fact that there can ever be three or four dudes that have access to anything. | ||
| We have to kill those three dudes. | ||
| That's what we have to do. | ||
| There can never be three or four dudes that have access to anything. | ||
| It has to be all transparent. | ||
| Once it becomes transparent, then you can't steal. | ||
| Then you can't lie. | ||
| It's going to be really simple. | ||
| Internet 2.0, right? | ||
| You know what it is, man? | ||
| We're all moving into a certain direction where there's going to be no secrets. | ||
| It's really clear. | ||
| The geek shall inherit the earth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The information is going to take over. | ||
| And all your ideas about wanting to have privacy, all that bullshit is going to go bye-bye, son. | ||
| Yeah, it's going to be great, but who's watching the information? | ||
| There's going to be no one watching it, man. | ||
| Everyone's going to have access to it. | ||
| Ultimately, it'll be complete and total transparency. | ||
| Cheers, buddy. | ||
| And I don't know if that's good, but it's coming. | ||
| It's all math. | ||
| What? | ||
| Meezy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck that. | |
| Fuck that. | ||
| Are you kidding, dude? | ||
| I don't hear it. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| I can't take that kind of responsibility. | ||
| Does anybody call you D-Measy? | ||
| Dead Mizzle Fizzle? | ||
| Not D-Measy? | ||
| D-Measy? | ||
| No. | ||
| Hey, so where are you DJing? | ||
| That's a new one. | ||
| Eddie's got a new pet name for you. | ||
| If you get drunk enough to give me your phone number, that's what's going to be on his phone. | ||
| I'm drunk enough. | ||
| Can I get into my DJ? No, I'm kidding. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are we at? | |
| We had a shot of Crown, a shot of Arminian Special 99, and then Cognac. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sorry. | ||
| What'd you say? | ||
| I don't think my mic's on first. | ||
| Yeah, it's sounding weird. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| It sounds weird. | ||
| We cut you out. | ||
| Sorry, dude. | ||
| No, it's on. | ||
| It's on. | ||
| Fucking Redband muted me. | ||
| No, I didn't. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Redband hammer. | ||
| I think Redband just started a brown band. | ||
| A brown band. | ||
| Do you get it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on! | |
| Is this thing on? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you a conspiracy theorist at all? | |
| Me? | ||
| Fucking totally. | ||
| Deem easy? | ||
| No, deem easy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, me? | |
| A conspiracy theorist. | ||
| Not really? | ||
| No, not really. | ||
| You are? | ||
| I'll buy into this and that, but no. | ||
| Not all of it. | ||
| Not 100%. | ||
| All of it! | ||
| You gotta be into all of it or none of it. | ||
| I question a lot of things. | ||
| Like what? | ||
| Namely? | ||
| The moon landing. | ||
| I don't fucking trust one single bit. | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Not one bit. | ||
| Do I trust that moon landing? | ||
| Because? | ||
| Because I met... | ||
| I think I said this once before on one of the podcasts. | ||
| Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. | ||
| Did you see how emotionally upset Neil Armstrong got? | ||
| Stop right there. | ||
| The only way that's going to work is if we were talking about something as crazy as the moon landing. | ||
| It's like if I told Tiesto he's not a DJ and he got upset, I'd be like, motherfucker, you're not a DJ. You put in a mixtape and you got AIDS. I mean... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| He hit him with the AIDS! Not the AIDS! Listen, here's the thing. | ||
| Whenever someone says something as crazy... | ||
| Life gives you AIDS, make lemonade. | ||
| If someone says something as crazy as the moon landing didn't happen, you gotta let them talk without interrupting with some fucking emotional shit about Neil Armstrong. | ||
| You gotta let them talk. | ||
| I have reasons for this now. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Because I wanted to believe that we went to the moon because I'm a big nerd for... | ||
| Space shit and like I watch all the Hubble footage and all the shit they send out and it excites me to think that there's other shit out there. | ||
| And when you look at the space race, first of all, it was against Russia at that time and they were trying to beat somebody to somewhere, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| It was a race. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It was exactly a race. | ||
| And then I met these two Indian kids after one of my shows in Houston. | ||
| They were basically rocket scientists. | ||
| They were studying astrophysicists. | ||
| They were studying the people who studied the show? | ||
| They were studying those two people. | ||
| They were astrophysicists is what they were. | ||
| And I had a watch on that I had bought because I'm a fucking donkey. | ||
| Not this one, but I had a watch on that allegedly the face of the watch was made out of moon rock. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And it was a limited piece and all kinds of horseshoots. | ||
| Well, it must be if it's only fucking from the moon. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, it's like a crumb. | ||
| One crumb. | ||
| Yeah, basically. | ||
| And then they smudged it and whatever. | ||
| Anyway, so I was like, hey, so have we been to the moon? | ||
| And this chick was like, no reason to lie to me whatsoever. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And she was like, they said we have. | ||
| And I'm like, what does that mean? | ||
| And she goes, they said we have. | ||
| And I go, well, I don't know what that means. | ||
| They said we have. | ||
| I go, is it possible that we've been to the moon? | ||
| She goes, it's not possible that we've been to the moon. | ||
| I go, what do you mean it's not possible? | ||
| She goes, it's impossible to go to the moon because we can't get past the radiation belt. | ||
| We can't build a suit that will protect humans from that radiation without their skin falling off. | ||
| With the radiation on the moon. | ||
| No, the Van Allen radiation belt between the moon and that 700... | ||
| See, I'm no radiation expert, but I've heard it argued that you never pass through the belt, and in fact the belt is like a donut, and there's a hole in the center, and if you pass through, you can do that. | ||
| My issue with it, my number one issue is that they never did anything to test. | ||
| They never even sent a chicken into space to see if it comes back alive. | ||
| No monkeys went into space and then landed. | ||
| Yeah, the Russians sent a monkey, right? | ||
| No one knew. | ||
| There was extreme radiation out there. | ||
| In fact, there's a thing called Operation Starfish Prime where they actually detonated a nuclear bomb in the magnetosphere because they were trying to punch a hole through it. | ||
| I don't know what to believe. | ||
| They made it way more radioactive. | ||
| They made the Van Allen radiation belts more charged. | ||
| It doesn't mean they still, if it is a donut shape, apparently you can fly through it, but I would have liked to have seen someone do it in a monkey or something before they start sending people slingshot around the fucking wound. | ||
| There's all that. | ||
| And then I had my iPhone in my hand. | ||
| She goes, your iPhone has more technology than the entire room in NASA did back then. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| But that doesn't mean that they couldn't make ample calculations. | ||
| Even though what your iPhone is doing is interacting with graphic user interfaces. | ||
| There's a lot of processing going around. | ||
| There's signals it's picking up. | ||
| There's a lot of shit going on with that. | ||
| They didn't have to do all that. | ||
| All they had was numbers. | ||
| Well, there was the number, so they can physically calculate it. | ||
| Well, yeah, I mean, because all the equipment they had during the space launch was the equivalent of that, of like 1 16th of an iPhone, like, in the whole facility. | ||
| Not even that. | ||
| It wasn't even that. | ||
| By the way, it doesn't matter. | ||
| They still could have done it. | ||
| Because they did do it without people, for sure. | ||
| Right, no, no. | ||
| So, you know, we can send shit into space, we just can't send humans into space. | ||
| Well, that's the real question, is there's really been no evidence they were able to take biological life into space and return it. | ||
| There's been no evidence of that, and there has been evidence that they really absolutely can't predict solar flares and all kinds of crazy shit that happens. | ||
| Storms flare up. | ||
| Yeah, they more report on them than predict them. | ||
| A lot of people believe that people did land on the moon, but that they faked a lot of the footage. | ||
| And one of the reasons for that is they did fake a lot of footage at NASA. Like there was some footage from Gemini missions where they were practiced, clearly the same images, exact same images and practiced pictures, you know, where they're like wearing suits and hung by wires. | ||
| And then they blacked those pictures out, the publicity people did, and said, ah, these people won't know any better. | ||
| You know, it was a time of really extreme ignorance. | ||
| You know, people didn't have access to information. | ||
| And so there's photos of Collins and Michael Collins, and he's on one of the Gemini missions. | ||
| He's on this fucking rig, and it looks like he's in deep space. | ||
| Well, the exact same photo is him on a practice run, hanging by wires. | ||
| It's just someone got overzealous and they said, look, here's a perfect picture. | ||
| Why ruin it? | ||
| Let's just put it in space and tell people it was there. | ||
| It's not like the guy didn't go to space. | ||
| He absolutely did. | ||
| Just they might not have been able to take such good fucking pictures up there. | ||
| And so they faked a lot of shit. | ||
| And so that makes the whole thing fuzzy. | ||
| Because you look at it and you go, something's wrong, man. | ||
| Something's wrong. | ||
| What the fuck is wrong? | ||
| There's some shit here that's wrong. | ||
| The reason why is I think a bunch of the shit we're looking at probably was taking place in a studio. | ||
| A lot of the photographs were probably horseshit. | ||
| It doesn't mean they didn't go. | ||
| I don't mean to totally derail and debunk the whole fucking thing, but whether they did or whether they didn't, Does it really matter? | ||
| It does. | ||
| It totally matters. | ||
| Shit! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit! | |
| It absolutely matters because we want to find out if it's possible to pull off a hoax of that magnitude. | ||
| You know, if you look about what the United States has been capable of doing as far as, like, getting us into wars, under false pretenses, all the corruption, all the bullshit, you wonder how far it is possible to take it. | ||
| We know it's possible to create war. | ||
| Arguably, that's way crazy. | ||
| We got that. | ||
| Arguably, that's way crazier than putting someone on the moon. | ||
| Arguably, letting people, you know, figuring out how to trick a gigantic chunk of people to going to another part of the world and kill people for you seems to be, if you're going to fake that, you're going to fake an operation to get into that, you're going to bullshit your way into that, it seems like the moon landing is like nothing. | ||
| It's nothing in comparison. | ||
| Yeah, because you can't prove it. | ||
| I didn't even see this shit coming when I came here today. | ||
| See? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Honestly, moon landing shit, was it real? | ||
| Was it not? | ||
| It was not in the back of my mind. | ||
| Yeah, it wasn't in mine, but I forgot that Russell's a moon guy. | ||
| Look, I've argued with people and I absolutely don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't believe... | ||
| Joe, Joe, you were totally down for... | ||
| You were the moon hoax crusader. | ||
| Did I mean something? | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What happened? | |
| Listen, listen, man. | ||
| Here's my issue. | ||
| My issue is how can I even argue it? | ||
| How is it possible that I even have points? | ||
| Joe, let's go to the moon. | ||
| You see Breezy right there? | ||
| He took fucking all his shit from school. | ||
| I hope someone did go to the moon. | ||
| I hope someone did. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I don't know if they didn't. | ||
| But I do know that it's weird that it's the only time in human history where people have been more than 400 feet above the Earth's surface. | ||
| No other space shuttle mission. | ||
| No other space station mission. | ||
| Nothing goes any higher than that. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| But they went 260,000 miles out and then returned to Earth. | ||
| Man! | ||
| When they did in 1969 to 1972, they never fucked it up once. | ||
| A bit of a head fuck. | ||
| We can't do it now. | ||
| We haven't done it since. | ||
| It's a bit of a head fuck. | ||
| We can't do it now. | ||
| Now when they talk about going to the moon, George W. Bush would say, we're going to Why don't we just release a 2K13 edition of Going to the Moon and Back? | ||
| Why don't you do a remit? | ||
| First of all, they say our technology is much more improved now, so they would have to reinvent. | ||
| Oh, so it should be fucking easier! | ||
| You would say so. | ||
| They can't use the Saturn V rockets, though, because that's like an old model. | ||
| They don't want to just recreate what worked in the 60s. | ||
| They want to apply modern technology, and apparently it's too expensive. | ||
| Oh, and now modern technology is too fucked up. | ||
| I'm playing devil's advocate to the extreme here. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck happened. | ||
| Hey, I wouldn't mind being the first fucking artist to perform on the moon. | ||
| It would be pretty dope if we could actually go to the moon if it was safe. | ||
| Let's not do that to the aliens. | ||
| Have you seen the photos that they had? | ||
| That they had a lunar rover orbiter that took photos, whatever the fuck it was. | ||
| Lunar reconnaissance orbiter. | ||
| No, they took photos of the moon and they showed like the little spots where the astronauts were walking like their footprints. | ||
| Yeah, like the footprints have been fucking blown away in 50, 45 years. | ||
| It looks fake as fuck. | ||
| Like what? | ||
| The footprints are still there? | ||
| Shut up! | ||
| Shut up! | ||
| I wish to remain agnostic to the whole... | ||
| I do too. | ||
| I would think it would be hilarious, though, even if we actually did go to the moon, if some overzealous NASA fucking freak said, listen, these hoaxers, we're going to fucking show them. | ||
| No, they've got to get a nonpartisan. | ||
| Yeah, a third party. | ||
| It's got to be a third party. | ||
| But it can't be a third party because they won't let anybody go anywhere near the moon sites. | ||
| They've declared a ban on flyovers of all the moon sites. | ||
| This is true because they don't want to disturb the area. | ||
| This is absolutely true. | ||
| Obama's passed this. | ||
| What's to prevent someone from taking a picture of that epic landing spot? | ||
| You can't go there. | ||
| You can't fly over and take a picture. | ||
| Doesn't that seem fucking over and take a picture? | ||
| Doesn't that seem suspect a little bit? | ||
| It does a little bit. | ||
| I've argued with it. | ||
| I don't... | ||
| I've argued with it. | ||
| I've argued with this guy Phil Plait from badastronomy.com and he's a great guy and I really wish I didn't have to argue with him because I love so much of the shit he says. | ||
| I love his speeches. | ||
| He did a TED talk on asteroids. | ||
| It was fucking awesome. | ||
| What did Michio Katsu say about it? | ||
| Here's the problem with me. | ||
| They're so proud about it, man. | ||
| I didn't talk to him about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That guy's an idiot. | |
| No, he's not. | ||
| How funny is that? | ||
| How funny is that? | ||
| One of the greatest fucking theoretical physicists in the world. | ||
| You guys are an idiot. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| That was awesome. | ||
| You know, I think it's... | ||
| My manager, fucking guy, just fucking texting me right now. | ||
| He's like, dude, you remember we got the Grammys tomorrow at night? | ||
| I'm like, dude, I got it. | ||
| We good. | ||
| Is he and the guy on the couch texted you? | ||
| Yeah, fucking guy. | ||
| He's going to text you while the show's going on? | ||
| You can actually come over here and fucking tap me on the shoulder. | ||
| How dare he? | ||
| But I'm going to text him back. | ||
| Just tell him to go to sleep. | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| Way to go, Captain Corporate. | ||
| Thanks, Dean. | ||
| Isn't it funny? | ||
| You have, like, some babysitter. | ||
| I do. | ||
| I can't go anywhere without him. | ||
| Well, I can. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| You're skinny enough to not have to worry about looking puffy in the morning. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Why are you worried about this? | ||
| Tell that guy to go to sleep. | ||
| This is ridiculous. | ||
| We sat two hot chicks beside him. | ||
| Does your manager normally do this? | ||
| Dean, come here, come here. | ||
| Dean, this is ridiculous behavior. | ||
| No, Dean, come here right now. | ||
| That was my manager. | ||
| I'd be like, you know how to call a cab. | ||
| The fuck, bro? | ||
| He doesn't want to come over. | ||
| Hey, you know, Joe, you see that guy Breezy? | ||
| He's really smart with his fucking space shit. | ||
| Dean, come here. | ||
| Dean, come here. | ||
| Fuck Dean. | ||
| Unless you want me to like drastically negotiate my management contract, I really think it's in your best interest that you come here. | ||
| Come here. | ||
| Dean. | ||
| Dean. | ||
| Dean, I think he's pulling an alpha move on you. | ||
| Diamond rings. | ||
| That's this guy right here. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Dean, come on. | ||
| Oh, he can talk from there. | ||
| Dean has an English accent. | ||
| Did you find him in Liverpool? | ||
| No, actually, I found him in Kent. | ||
| Don't call him a Kent. | ||
| Kent. | ||
| Oi, Dean, you fucking Kent. | ||
| There's no cooler accent in the world than English. | ||
| In my opinion, those Guy Ritchie movies, I fucking love those movies. | ||
| They get the ghetto white people. | ||
| He's such a character. | ||
| Do you have that camera? | ||
| Does that detach off that iPod? | ||
| I wish that Guy Ritchie made a movie a year. | ||
| I would be very happy. | ||
| You see that guy on the couch over there on the right? | ||
| Yeah, I do see it. | ||
| Well, do a night vision. | ||
| No, no, just pan it over. | ||
| He doesn't want to be on, dude. | ||
| He doesn't want to be on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's just leave. | |
| I don't give a shit. | ||
| Why are you so into having him be on? | ||
| No more alcohol for dead easy. | ||
| There he is. | ||
| Right there. | ||
| He's done. | ||
| Right there. | ||
| You're like Eddie Van Halen on the Howard Stern show. | ||
| You know what Dean says? | ||
| Dean, just let this be a lesson to not be texting him and telling him what to do. | ||
| He says, hey, we got to be out of here at 9 in the morning. | ||
| So don't get too wasted. | ||
| What are you going to do at 9 in the morning? | ||
| What time are the Grammys? | ||
| The Grammys are, well, for me, they're at 9 in the morning because I got to go do another run through with the Foo Fighters. | ||
| Are you doing shit for me? | ||
| Yeah, but dude, it's only 140. What's the hurry? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| I got it. | ||
| I got it. | ||
| Yeah, this is ridiculous. | ||
| When did you get to town? | ||
| I've been doing this for a while. | ||
| I know how to hit a space bar. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| It's not like he's fucking typing shit up. | ||
| He can't fucking die. | ||
| He knows. | ||
| Yeah, no, no, it's really cool. | ||
| We're doing this, like, really crazy cool shit with the Foo Fighters, which is amazing. | ||
| Because they basically gave me, like, you know when you go to a hotel and you get, like, a shit fucking afternight, like, service menu? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Or margarita? | ||
| Or a tuna melt. | ||
| Yeah, or something bullshit. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That's kind of what they offered me. | ||
| And at the end of the day, there was something I really wanted. | ||
| And they said, well, in order to perform on the Grammys, you have to perform with someone who's also nominated and all that stuff. | ||
| And the Foo Fighters were. | ||
| And I had recently done a remix for the Foo Fighters. | ||
| Oh shit, this is my saving grace. | ||
| I don't have to get pigeonholed with this EDM segregation from the Grammys. | ||
| Because it's still early according to pop culture and the United States and all that stuff. | ||
| Since it's been around since the 80s. | ||
| Yeah, so it's always going to be that sideshow thing and a tent outside of the big main show. | ||
| And they were like, well, who do you want to perform with? | ||
| And here's your list of options. | ||
| So it's like the late night room service menu. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| I don't know what I want. | ||
| You know, but I had done a collaboration with the Fuse in the past. | ||
| The Fuse. | ||
| Is that what you call the Foo Fighters? | ||
| The Fuse? | ||
| It's the Fuse Spiders. | ||
| Are you like really deep inside in the music world that you can call them the Fuse? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Fuse. | |
| When you're really in, it's like Foos Baby. | ||
| He really is. | ||
| Foos Baby. | ||
| Let me call you. | ||
| Can I call you guys Foos? | ||
| You were dramatic tonight. | ||
| You nailed it. | ||
| Yeah, he's definitely top five. | ||
| You knocked it out of the park. | ||
| The whole Dave thing was cool. | ||
| And we had done this really big, long European run where basically the rock group is playing across the stage from where I was playing at the same time. | ||
| So, of course, Dave's always like, oh, fuck computers and all this. | ||
| And this is real rock. | ||
| And then, you know, they play and then I'd be playing at the same time and all this stuff. | ||
| Wait a minute, like you were competing against each other? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, pretty much, pretty much. | ||
| And how big is this place where you're playing in? | ||
| Oh, Pooka Pop was about 160,000 strong. | ||
| Okay, so there's competing signals? | ||
| So there's like, your sound is coming from one side? | ||
| One side of the stage and his from the other. | ||
| Yeah, but it was absolutely amazing and it was such a tear up. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| You know, because the EDM thing and the whole movement. | ||
| The what thing? | ||
| EDM, electronic dance music, I guess what the kids like to call it these days. | ||
| We used to call it Euro trash back in the day. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Well, no, we still do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| How did it evolve in Europe? | ||
| What happened then? | ||
| Well, it started, house music started in Chicago. | ||
| Well, they say technically Detroit. | ||
| Detroit. | ||
| Detroit, then it moved to Chicago. | ||
| Germany, Kraftwerk. | ||
| Where it got good. | ||
| And then, oh, Kraftwerk, yeah, true. | ||
| Kraftwerk was kind of like the groundwork for like... | ||
| For, like, Planet Rock and all the hip-hop shit. | ||
| And then house music started in, like, around 82, 83 with Steve Silk Early. | ||
| Would you agree with that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| With Jack Your Body and all that shit. | ||
| Okay, okay, okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Russell Peters dropping knowledge keys! | |
| A little bit. | ||
| And then in around 1989, 90 is when Europe got a hold of it. | ||
| And that's when it started to really take a shit. | ||
| It's because the white Europeans would be like, this is too fucking smooth and mellow. | ||
| And then they would add the... | ||
| That's when Acid House and fucking Hip House and all this shit started. | ||
| And that's when I was like, what are you doing to this fucking great house music? | ||
| And then it would be like... | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Where's my sampler when I need it? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I have an iPad here. | ||
| You know so much more about music than I could ever hope to. | ||
| It was disco 2.0. | ||
| It's brilliant. | ||
| It was. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was electronic disco is what it was. | ||
| Dude, I'll tell you what, man. | ||
| Every now and then someone will play the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack and I'll go, God damn, there's some good fucking jams on that track. | ||
| On that CD, on that whatever. | ||
| More than a woman. | ||
| Just some tremendous songs. | ||
| If you could just put yourself back in the mindset of the people that were alive that day. | ||
| That was the shit, son. | ||
| The fucking BGs, the harmonies that's ever hit. | ||
| All of that shit. | ||
| They were singing like Prince. | ||
| I'm a disco nerd, fool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can tell by the way that I use my walk. | |
| The way they sang that shit. | ||
| They sang like bitches. | ||
| Come on, Barry Gibb. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If I can't have you. | ||
| I mean, that falsetto was amazing. | ||
| I danced to I can't have you. | ||
| If I can't have you in second grade. | ||
| Or grade two as we know it. | ||
| If I can't have you. | ||
| In second grade, I auditioned for the school talent show if I can't have you. | ||
| Yvonne Elliman. | ||
| Interesting fact about Yvonne Elliman, the first Filipino singer. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That embodies that song. | ||
| And she also sang that song in Jesus Christ Superstar. | ||
| Who do you think you are? | ||
| No. | ||
| What was that song that she sang in Jesus Christ? | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck was it called? | |
| Damn, I was into metal. | ||
| I wasn't into that disco shit, man. | ||
| I've always loved all kinds of music, man. | ||
| I've always loved all kinds of music. | ||
| I love disco. | ||
| I was a Kiss nerd. | ||
| I was a huge Kiss nerd as well. | ||
| I saw Kiss in 82 on the last tour with makeup and the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Creatures of the Night. | |
| Yeah, the Creatures of the Night tour and then the first tour without makeup. | ||
| I saw Kiss. | ||
| It was the same stage. | ||
| It was the same tank, remember? | ||
| I saw Kiss this year for the first time. | ||
| Did you really? | ||
| I saw him at Maple Leaf Gardens. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I didn't see that. | |
| They used the same tank. | ||
| Yeah, it was the same tank. | ||
| Did they blow shit up with the rigging? | ||
| Fuck yeah, they did. | ||
| With the bazooka thing? | ||
| One speaker blew out. | ||
| Yeah, I saw them when I was a little kid and I met Ace Freely without his makeup when I was like eight years old. | ||
| Oh my god, and his skin was terrible. | ||
| I met Gene Simmons in full makeup, like in the whole thing and everything. | ||
| Poor dude had crazy. | ||
| Crazy pop marks on his face. | ||
| Oh yeah, he looked like Bobby for french fries. | ||
| When I was a kid, my uncle worked for Howard Marks Advertising, which was the company that used to make the album covers for Kiss. | ||
|
unidentified
|
In Boston? | |
| No, it was in Manhattan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's sweet. | |
| Yeah, my uncle and his friend. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| Yeah, my uncle and his friend, Dennis. | ||
| Look at you with the fucking Kiss knowledge. | ||
| I can go deep. | ||
| So my uncle used to make these album covers. | ||
| They used to make these album covers. | ||
| You'll like this, Eddie. | ||
| Peter Criss and Gene Simmons and all those guys would stop by, and I was there with him one day at work. | ||
| Scroll, my friend. | ||
| Alright, forget having a conversation. | ||
| You know we're doing a podcast. | ||
| I'm listening, Joe. | ||
| I think that's amazing. | ||
| There's no more stories to be told. | ||
| I think that's awesome. | ||
| I think that's really a unique story that no one knows. | ||
| What's the story? | ||
| We missed it. | ||
| Yeah, you missed it. | ||
| You were talking over me. | ||
| You know, Gene was at the improv a couple of weeks ago with Shannon and I happened to be on that night. | ||
| And Gene did a quote from my book that was released in Canada. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow, that's cool. | |
| He didn't even fucking know he did it. | ||
| How the fuck do you do a quote? | ||
| On stage? | ||
| No, no, like for the back of the book it was like, Russell is a very handsome man. | ||
| I imagine he would be very popular in jail is what the quote was. | ||
| You know, I wonder about that sometimes. | ||
| What am I going to do when I get in fucking jail? | ||
| I have no plans on being in jail. | ||
| There really would be a dead mouse in jail. | ||
| I know, but I think, no, because fucking Red Band over here brought up an interesting fucking point, as a matter of fact. | ||
| He said, dude, have you ever seen any prison tattoos? | ||
| And I'm like, well... | ||
| No, not really. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, you know, the fucking pen ink kind of thing. | |
| They use the chess pieces. | ||
| And I thought for a minute, well, wait a minute. | ||
| What if I do some, like, dodgy thing that does actually end me up in fucking jail? | ||
| Am I going to be, like, someone's bitch? | ||
| Or am I going to be, oh, dude, that's that mouse. | ||
| You better hope it's Metro West. | ||
| Maybe a little of both. | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| I guess the safe way we'd be going is just don't do anything that would warrant you being in jail. | ||
| Yeah, pay your taxes and don't fuck people up. | ||
| That's the deal. | ||
| Yeah, okay, cool. | ||
| I can do that. | ||
| Or you better start training with Eddie and Joe quickly. | ||
| No more rape for you. | ||
| I might be a bitch in jail. | ||
| I don't think you would be, buddy. | ||
| I think I would be. | ||
| In general, if I were to get arrested now. | ||
| If I can't have you! | ||
| If I were to, like, come across the fucking place right now... | ||
| There's a lie talking over. | ||
| And by some... | ||
| There's a lie talking over. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| There's a lot of drunk going on in this room. | ||
| No, there's... | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| There's a lie talking over everybody. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's because everybody's drunk. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's a fucking mediator. | ||
| Continue. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sorry. | |
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Continue. | ||
| Dude, no. | ||
| I'm just saying. | ||
| If I did something, like, drastically illegal right now... | ||
| How often do you do podcasts? | ||
| Podcasts? | ||
| I've never... | ||
| This is my first one. | ||
| I'm virgin. | ||
| Oh, virgin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's just like, I know we're all having a conversation, and if we were all hanging out and smoking weed and drinking, we'd have a conversation. | ||
| It would be a lot like this. | ||
| It would be a clusterfuck between four guys. | ||
| Unless the smoking weed. | ||
| But we have to, for you, for you, for Eddie and I, it would be twice as much weed. | ||
| So we'd balance you out anyway. | ||
| But we would be able to hear each other talk. | ||
| That's what you've got to do with a podcast. | ||
| You've got to be cognizant of other people who are talking at the same time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Hey, Joel. | ||
| Can I share this? | ||
| Have you ever had a... | ||
| What was your favorite show that you've ever done? | ||
| We had a bong, man, but we broke it. | ||
| Do you have a concert that is like... | ||
| Do you have a concert that's like your most memorable? | ||
| Do you have something that you always think of? | ||
| Like, that was the best time I ever had a show. | ||
| Like, that was the one show that blew all the others out of the water. | ||
| You have that? | ||
| Dude, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I... Well, I do and I don't because, you know, I could say anything right now and it would only pertain to that group and then that would be gospel. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that's fucked up. | ||
| But you do have one in your head and you just don't want to say it. | ||
| Give it up. | ||
| No, I'm thinking right now. | ||
| Well, you know what? | ||
| Anytime in Red Rocks. | ||
| Whenever I play at Red Rocks. | ||
| It's the most amazing place ever, right? | ||
| In Colorado? | ||
| It absolutely is. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Red Rocks. | ||
| Do you know what Red Rocks is, too? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's carved into a side of a mountain. | ||
| It's like an amphitheater. | ||
| Dude, you're playing between two fucking mountains. | ||
| Yeah, it's so dope. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's crazy. | |
| And the way that you look at the audience is that because each... | ||
| I don't know how you say it. | ||
| Like a rung or a stand of where the audience stands. | ||
| It's like four feet. | ||
| So you're not looking at this vanishing point of people. | ||
| You're looking at this wall. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, of fucking just crazy dudes. | ||
| They do comedy there. | ||
| They do comedy and they have movies there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What percentage? | |
| Red Rocks? | ||
| No shit. | ||
| Red Rocks is amazing. | ||
| And there's a high possibility you might see a mountain lion. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You might see ghosts there. | ||
| You know, you can't wander off to piss in the woods, bro. | ||
| You're like, yeah, Jack. | ||
| Easy. | ||
| Easy. | ||
| It's a possibility. | ||
| It's not a good possibility, but it's out there. | ||
| What percentage of people at your shows, a rough estimate, are on ecstasy? | ||
| A rough estimate? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Ninety? | ||
| Ninety percent, right? | ||
| I want you to consider the manager sleeping on the couch behind you before you answer this. | ||
| Your manager's sweating right now. | ||
| Well, just be honest. | ||
| Make the corporate choice, son! | ||
| Don't do anything stupid, son! | ||
| No, really? | ||
| CDs might make a comeback. | ||
| I'd say thirty percent. | ||
| Thirty percent? | ||
| Thirty percent. | ||
| Hey, Joe. | ||
| Joe, you know why? | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because 50 of them are on Mali because they know better. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Because they have the internet. | ||
| Molly. | ||
| How did that name come about anyway? | ||
| Because it's... | ||
| You tell us. | ||
| Do you know? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| How did Molly come about? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I've only been recently hearing about this in the last two years. | ||
| Because it's pure ecstasy. | ||
| Because usually ecstasy is cut with other bullshit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's great. | |
| But what does that have to do with Molly? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think because it's true MDMA. MDMA. I used to think MDMA was made in a laboratory. | |
| Ecstasy had to be some scientific chemical bullshit. | ||
| I always thought that until a month ago I saw a documentary on ecstasy. | ||
| And MDMA, the pure form, it's just like Coke, where Coke all comes from South America. | ||
| All ecstasy comes from these rare, the roots of these rare trees in Cambodia. | ||
| Oh, I've watched that. | ||
| It all comes from Cambodia. | ||
| Yeah, that's a fact. | ||
| That was on... | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| So I'm supposed to take you seriously. | ||
| I'm supposed to take you seriously when you come to a fucking concert to appreciate music and craft and art and all that stuff if you're like on these mind-altering substances. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Well, it's not that you're supposed to be taking them seriously, but it is kind of fascinating. | ||
| Have you ever seen Current TV? Or Vanguard, that's the name of the show. | ||
| I think it's on True TV or one of those TV networks, Obscure Cable Network. | ||
| And they spend a lot of time in the woods where these people are like, there's a lot of serious crime going on because people are cutting down these trees. | ||
| Yeah, it's amazing. | ||
| There's a big problem. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They find these ecstasy labs out in the woods, and they go in with guns, and it's crazy. | ||
| The military comes in. | ||
| It's really nuts, man. | ||
| It's just like Peru. | ||
| It's just like Colombia. | ||
| Whoever knew? | ||
| I didn't know this shit. | ||
| I didn't know either. | ||
| I thought it was the same thing you thought. | ||
| I thought it was some shit made in a lab. | ||
| Is this something generally accepted that should go hand-in-hand with electronic music, then? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Listen, man, I think you're taking it really personal. | ||
| I don't think it has to. | ||
| No, I don't know. | ||
| We're just tripping out on what it is. | ||
| We're just tripping out on what it is. | ||
| Don't you think it's kind of fucking weird that when you do ecstasy, that you're right in the same frequency of trans music? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don't you think it's crazy? | |
| Let me jump in there for you there, Mouse. | ||
| That's very crazy. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| The music that he makes is actually... | ||
| And I'm a fucking cynic and a big-ass critic. | ||
| No shit. | ||
| But his music is actually not... | ||
| On that level of E because it's actually mellow, smooth house to me. | ||
| Like him and Cascades. | ||
| I may not appreciate them as DJs per se, but as artists, I go, fuck yeah, that shit is dope. | ||
| You know, having said that, I'm not a fucking crusader. | ||
| I'm not tailoring my shit. | ||
| But I'm saying, the shit you'd make is not shit that people need to be high for. | ||
| No, not at all. | ||
| Listen, I'm getting a fucking level with all of you right now. | ||
| I've never done a hard job in my life. | ||
| You've never done heart drug ever? | ||
| No. | ||
| Like mushrooms? | ||
| You've never done mushrooms? | ||
| No. | ||
| Have you done... | ||
| Oh, dude, name it off. | ||
| I can tell you. | ||
| Salvia, acid, nothing. | ||
| I might have smoked a bit of pot when I was a fucking kid just for the fuck of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| I'm the same way. | ||
| I tried weed and didn't like it, and that was it for me. | ||
| That was all I needed to know that I didn't like it. | ||
| Dude, honestly, you smoked weed right fucking now. | ||
| I guarantee you I will be in the fucking bathroom shaking, and every time that fucking door opens, he's either going to be a cop or my mom. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Or your mom as a cop. | ||
| Or my mom dressed up as a fucking cop. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| That's kind of cool. | ||
| It's kind of cool, but I also almost want to get it like a sex change and just so I could spoon you and do mushrooms with you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| I just want to comfort you and take you into the desert. | ||
| I'm a beer guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck it. | |
| You know what I mean, Joe? | ||
| Take him to the desert. | ||
| That's hilarious, man. | ||
| You know what I mean, though, Joe? | ||
| I want to comfort him. | ||
| No one on the planet besides you would have explained it that way. | ||
| I want to have a sex change and I want to spoon with you and do mushrooms with you. | ||
| No, I just want to hold him. | ||
| I just want to nurse him into mushrooms. | ||
| That dude needs mushrooms. | ||
| That dude needs mushrooms. | ||
| He needs mushrooms. | ||
| He needs ecstasy. | ||
| He needs marijuana. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He needs something. | |
| He needs something. | ||
| I bet you, if he does that though, the Grammys would blow up. | ||
| They would fucking bleed on the couch at spot when they're in the bed. | ||
| I don't know that. | ||
| You don't think that? | ||
| But I know he'd be easier to talk to. | ||
| No, I think what he does is the most amazing shit ever in the whole entire world, and I can't even believe he does it. | ||
| Wait a minute, more than heart surgery? | ||
| No, I really appreciate musicians. | ||
| No matter who it is, I appreciate them. | ||
| I've listened to them a million times. | ||
| The first time I met Veronica Ricci, I made this whole video because we went to an orchard. | ||
| An orchid? | ||
| What was it? | ||
| An orange grove. | ||
| We went to an orange grove and I made a video and I picked out Deadmau5's song to put as the soundtrack because I think that is an amazing song and I met somebody amazing and I put the song with that. | ||
| I feel like you're in a special moment of your life right now. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I feel like I'm here witnessing a special moment of your life. | ||
| As gay as it sounds, that's what I like. | ||
| It doesn't sound gay at all. | ||
| How's the opposite of gay? | ||
| Music to me is so insane to me. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Is it central? | ||
| Music's one of the most important things in life, is what I'm saying. | ||
| And I think it's amazing meeting somebody that I listen to, and I fucking have had emotions with, I've fucking had trips with, I've had fucking really cool evenings with, listening to somebody I don't even know, and I get to meet the person that designed that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think that's crazy. | |
| So real to me, damn it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Suck his dick. | |
| Suck his dick. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Alright, here I go. | ||
| It's all real to me! | ||
| Yeah, have it brother, have it. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| Dude, have you done the preemptive flush on a piss? | ||
| What? | ||
| Preemptive flush? | ||
| Preemptive flush, when you're like... | ||
| Oh, are you scared? | ||
| You've got it, and you're like, I got this. | ||
| And then you like time it so that you hit the fucking flusher. | ||
| Right as it is, but then you piss a little in that clean water. | ||
| You're not quite there yet, and it goes. | ||
| You got to remind yourself. | ||
| You should piss again. | ||
| You want to flush it. | ||
| You want to flush it, and you're like, no, wait, bro. | ||
| You know you're probably going to go another 30 seconds. | ||
| No, I don't wait. | ||
| You got to train yourself. | ||
| It's a weird obsession to want to piss into clean water. | ||
| I hate when I finish taking this shit and I cleaned up and then I flush and then I gotta piss again right after. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| What is my dick not coordinating with my ass? | ||
| There's no communication down there, bro. | ||
| Which is also a good thing, on a side note. | ||
| Russell Peters dropping bombs, bitches! | ||
| You thought this show was getting boring. | ||
| You thought the conflict would steer us off the tracks and into the woods. | ||
| We've all determined that you need some sort of psychedelics, young man. | ||
| You're a very nice guy, but you definitely need something. | ||
| Weed, pot, something. | ||
| Someone needs to sit you down. | ||
| I don't think he needs anything because he's doing it right. | ||
| I'm a clean guy, I don't know. | ||
| Just calm me down. | ||
| I'm an alcohol guy, that's me. | ||
| Give you a little perspective. | ||
| I think he's doing everything right right now. | ||
| Don't fuck up something that's good. | ||
| Wait till he's fucking 70 or 80 and then do mushrooms. | ||
| 70 or 80 and then do mushrooms. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But you do change your state. | |
| In accordance to law right now, if I were to do some crazy shit, I'm Easily susceptible to just getting to a party. | ||
| Oh, right, because you're Canadian. | ||
| See, that's the Canadian thing in us. | ||
| You're so right. | ||
| That's so true. | ||
| He's even nervous about the OG question. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That is so true. | |
| God, get that away from me. | ||
| I was baffled. | ||
| I was like... | ||
| This doesn't make any sense. | ||
| No, I don't think that's what it is, man. | ||
| No, I can't do it. | ||
| I think he just hasn't had that many positive experiences, and he's a very positive person, and he's ambitious. | ||
| And he's obviously, to go from where you started doing that kind of music, and then four years later, you're filling the Rogers Center, you have to be ambitious. | ||
| There's no way around it. | ||
| Well, yeah, and I guess if you're talking in terms of fucking doing shit, then fine. | ||
| If I start fucking smoking weed and all that shit right now, are you kidding me, dude? | ||
| I'm just so preoccupied with fucking this, that, and the other thing. | ||
| I know, I understand that, but you're drinking. | ||
| That's what doesn't make any sense. | ||
| You're altering your state. | ||
| I know, but it's a different alteration. | ||
| Yeah, it's the shittier one. | ||
| It's the difference between a hem and a cuff. | ||
| It's the shittier one. | ||
| It's the one that benefits you least. | ||
| It's the one that gives you the most blackouts. | ||
| It allows you to relax your standards. | ||
| There's so many weeds that weed doesn't work on, Joe. | ||
| Let your ego fly. | ||
| Come at me, bro. | ||
| There's definitely people that I know. | ||
| Joe, weed didn't work for me. | ||
| I prefer alcohol. | ||
| Who did you smoke high with? | ||
| I believe you, but who did you get high with? | ||
| It wasn't even who I got high with. | ||
| It's just the few times I tried it. | ||
| Every time I tried it, I did not like the way I feel. | ||
| Did you get paranoid? | ||
| Not even paranoid. | ||
| I got bored. | ||
| And I've got ADD, so it didn't fucking happen. | ||
| There's absolutely two different kinds of weed, though. | ||
| Do you know that? | ||
| What most people get is called indica. | ||
| And what indica is is couch weed. | ||
| It makes you really sleepy and tired. | ||
| There's another thing called sativa, South American weed, like the South Pacific stuff. | ||
| That's like, it's from the different parts of the world, and it's way different. | ||
| It's a completely different experience. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I think you're thinking of salvia? | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is sativa. | ||
| Sativa is a different type of marijuana. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's a different type. | ||
| It's a much more heady, much more Carl Sagan, much more staring at fucking documentaries on sativa, right? | ||
| Much more like, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| I do that sober. | ||
| Most people don't know that. | ||
| I just smoke I know you do. | ||
| I know you do. | ||
| But there is two totally different effects. | ||
| Eddie likes it all. | ||
| He doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| I think it's all good. | ||
| I think it's all good from Demoria. | ||
| I agree with Eddie. | ||
| I agree with Eddie as well, especially once you're a seasoned smoker. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| It's not the same shit. | ||
| No, it's definitely not the same shit. | ||
| Well, you didn't start smoking until late, though, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't think it is, man. | ||
| I don't think it has the same effect. | ||
| You think it has the same effect? | ||
| Dude, I used to really think that sativa controlled your appetite and indica, you got the munchies and all that shit. | ||
| I think it's whatever you think it is. | ||
| I kind of see that because I've been doing a lot of hybrids lately. | ||
| You guys are what's known as stoners. | ||
| No, no, no, but I've been doing a lot of hybrids lately, and then this one time I was doing a hybrid, and then I was like, this is the best way, the perfect blend of both, and then I'm like, oh wait, this is indica on the bottle. | ||
| This whole time I've been doing indica. | ||
| So it's like, I'm almost like, alright, is this like fucking alpha brain? | ||
| I'm like, what am I doing here? | ||
| Is it a placebo you're saying? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I think you're all crazy. | ||
| Maybe you're smoking airborne. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe this motherfucker smokes too much weed and he's just too blasted. | |
| The only thing that pot has ever really done good for me is the first time I fucking smoked pot was upstage a radio show that was actually being syndicated to 109. Energy. | ||
| Is that a Toronto station? | ||
| Yeah, it is a Toronto station. | ||
| Do you remember the Daily Planet? | ||
| No. | ||
| From Niagara Falls? | ||
| Oh, it was that kind of thing. | ||
| So you're from St. Catherine's, so you got a different... | ||
| No, no, Niagara Falls. | ||
| You're from Niagara Falls? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Slow down, Hammer, slow down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What up? | |
| Do you like Water Falls? | ||
| Are you guys like gang members? | ||
| So we had this radio show, and there was a guy there, a DJ Just Nice, and he would come in, and we would do... | ||
| Just Nice. | ||
| Yeah, Just Nice. | ||
| That guy is just nice. | ||
| And dudes would show up with these A&P bag... | ||
| Full of fucking weed. | ||
| I like the fact that you said an A&P bag. | ||
| You know what made me happier if you said a Food City bag? | ||
| You guys are so regional right now. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| I swear to God, I was about 18, 19 years old. | ||
| How old are you now? | ||
|
unidentified
|
How old are you now, kid? | |
| I'm 31. Easy, slow down. | ||
| Yeah, what up, midlife? | ||
| These kids, 31. And they're rap music. | ||
| And the first time I actually smoked a proper fucking blunt, I shit you not, it was to this rap song. | ||
| And I don't know what it was, but I know the lyric because I was so stoned and I kept... | ||
| Hearing the same lyric over and over and over again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What was it? | |
| It was like, I don't want something new. | ||
| I don't want to chill. | ||
| I just want to see my head up on a $100 bill. | ||
| I don't want to ill. | ||
| I just want to chill and rest my head up on a $100 bill. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, that line will haunt me for the rest of my fucking days. | |
| Ed OG and the Bulldogs. | ||
| Well, blunts are a different experience because you get tobacco in there. | ||
| Ironically, a friend of mine, also from Boston, Ed OG. Blunts are a different experience because you have... | ||
| I probably have that on my phone right now. | ||
| But no, honestly, when I was up on top of this computer store, you know, recording this fucking show, dude, I was like passed out, fucking staring at the ceiling and hearing the same lyric over and over again. | ||
| And every time the door... | ||
| Yeah, that's the one. | ||
| It was just playing over and over and over in the head. | ||
| And every time the security thing went off at the door that opened it up, like I said, it was either a cop or my mom, or my mom dressed up as a cop. | ||
| You need to sample that and make a new song. | ||
| It was fucked. | ||
| Come on, it's perfect. | ||
| So that's when I decided, you know what? | ||
| Not for everyone. | ||
| That sounds like a scene in a Stanley Kubrick movie. | ||
| You need to grab that shit. | ||
| Your mom dressed up like a cop. | ||
| I got Jazzy Jeff juggling it before the fucking chorus comes in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hold on a sec. | |
| And you know the ironic part is Jazzy Jeff is juggling it back and forth. | ||
| That's a very specific accent. | ||
| I would say that's a Philadelphia accent. | ||
| Can you play that? | ||
| Is that legal? | ||
| Is that a Philadelphia accent? | ||
| No, it's Boston. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| Boston and Philadelphia are interesting. | ||
| Joe, you're from fucking Boston. | ||
| You don't like that, do you? | ||
| It sounds like Philadelphia to me, but Boston black is very different than Boston white. | ||
| There's different accents. | ||
| There's a lot of the that didn't get inherited by the Boston black community. | ||
| Guys like Patrice O'Neill was a black guy. | ||
| Yeah, very much. | ||
| A brilliant comedian from Boston who didn't have the Boston accent. | ||
| No, Patrice and I... Weston! | ||
| Patrice and I used to say the fucking dumbest shit to each other. | ||
| I remember we were in Scotland in 2000, and he had this girlfriend at the time who was from Liverpool. | ||
| And we were walking, and everything was fucking uphill in Scotland, in Edinburgh. | ||
| And she was complaining about walking, and goes, Bitch, don't act like you're too fucking high post to be walking up and down. | ||
| And I just thought it was the funniest shit, because... | ||
| She said that in Edinburgh? | ||
| He called her high post. | ||
| In Edinburgh? | ||
| Yeah, and I was like... | ||
| Where were you, at the Cabaret fucking Voltaire, or what? | ||
| We were at the Edinburgh Comedy Festival. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| And I just remember thinking... | ||
| Was it by the castle? | ||
| It was by the castle. | ||
| We were on North Castle Street. | ||
| Okay, okay, okay. | ||
| And I would just, even years later, I would say to him, I'd go, hey, you acting all fucking high post. | ||
| Because there was a song called High Post at that time too. | ||
| Post High. | ||
| When was this? | ||
| It didn't take off. | ||
| Patrice has such an awesome way of phrasing shit. | ||
| I'm banned from a place on fucking Castle. | ||
| Are you? | ||
| The Cabaret Voltero. | ||
| What did you do to them? | ||
| Well, I didn't do anything. | ||
| I was testing the integrity of a bottle outside of the nightclub. | ||
| Basically kicking it against a curb, seeing how much it would take to smash. | ||
| And so, it was funny because I was playing at the club that night and then we stopped or whatever and now I'm outside having a cigarette and I'm kind of edging a bottle on the fucking thing because everyone's like smashing bottles. | ||
| It's fucking him, bro. | ||
| So I'm going crazy, fucking whatever. | ||
| And I start back kicking this fucking bottle on the thing and all the security guys are watching me waiting for the fucking thing to break because they knew as soon as it breaks they had grounds to fucking kick me out. | ||
| Right, but then you had a weapon. | ||
| Or something. | ||
| Well, then they had evidence that you're a douchebag. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| So I finally broke it. | ||
| And then they all came out and they said, okay, listen, here's your shit. | ||
| Here's your whatever. | ||
| Like, you're not welcome here anymore. | ||
| We're banning you. | ||
| But it was really funny because it was like totally secret of mana moment where they were like, we are banishing you. | ||
| You are banished. | ||
| You're banished. | ||
| You're like totally banished from this nightclub. | ||
| And I'm like, okay. | ||
| Alright, that's cool. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| You're fine. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| Just give me my jacket and I'll go. | ||
| Did you offer to buy him a new bottle? | ||
| And it was funny because I really didn't put up a fight at all. | ||
| I was just like, you know what? | ||
| Hold on a second, man. | ||
| If you were running a club, would you want some guy breaking bottles out in front of the club? | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| Why would you want that happening? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's why I played along. | ||
| And I'm like, okay, you know what? | ||
| I know what I did was stupid. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And douchey. | ||
| And I, you know, I accept the banishment. | ||
| And I'll take it, and I'll go. | ||
| And they were like, okay, just so you know, you're banned. | ||
| I'm like, okay, give me my jacket. | ||
| And so they gave me my jacket, and then they started to kind of walk me out of that little front row post. | ||
| And they were like, just so you know, you're banned. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, I get it. | ||
| I'm banned. | ||
| I'm banned. | ||
| I'm never allowed here ever again, right? | ||
| Is that what you mean by banished? | ||
| They didn't really ban you, did they? | ||
| And they were like, yes. | ||
| Here's your jacket and a haggis. | ||
| Get out of here. | ||
| You don't understand the magnitude of what we're trying to tell you is that you're never, ever, ever, ever allowed here again. | ||
| And I'm like, okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they're like, no. | ||
| I'm never allowed here again. | ||
| Dude, and it just went on. | ||
| This is when clubs think that they're way more important than now. | ||
| Oh, it was crazy, dude. | ||
| And I'm like, okay, listen. | ||
| If I can get kicked out of a club in fucking Edinburgh and never go back again, am I also going to regret this later in life? | ||
| Probably not. | ||
| So I just accepted it. | ||
| You never know, dog. | ||
| And they really didn't like that. | ||
| One day it might be the spot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| I know. | ||
| One day. | ||
| You might be out front going, come on, man. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Listen, I know what I've done is wrong. | ||
| I'll clean up all your bottles tonight. | ||
| They pull out a list of bottle breakers. | ||
| It was really funny. | ||
| I'm banished from this club and I'm outside on this sidewalk, like across the street, like almost at a completely different fucking venue. | ||
| And they kept having people come out of the place that I was banished from. | ||
| And they were saying, dude, you're banned. | ||
| And I'm like... | ||
| I get it. | ||
| That's alright. | ||
| Okay, yeah. | ||
| So wait a minute. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| They banned you so you went across the street and hovered? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Because I'm waiting for stragglers to come out. | ||
| They're essentially trying to get you to get the fuck out of there. | ||
| Like out of their whole country. | ||
| Well, they wanted you to get out of their view. | ||
| They kicked you out of one club and then you went across the street and just stared at them? | ||
| Is that essentially what happened? | ||
| Stereo room. | ||
| Stared at them. | ||
| stared at them. | ||
| Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| I was on my way out. | ||
| Like, we were ready to get on one of those, what do they call, rickshaws? | ||
| Where they got the bike guy. | ||
| Oh, so you're just waiting. | ||
| Yeah, I'm just waiting for, you know, management to kind of come up. | ||
| And it was so funny because they just made a really, really huge effort to have everyone come out and say you're banned. | ||
| You're banned. | ||
| I guess for them, as a local scene, it's like a fucking devastating hit, you know? | ||
| If you're a local band and you can't work anymore... | ||
| Oh yeah, that would suck. | ||
| That'd be devastating. | ||
| But I mean, it was a one-shot only thing for me. | ||
| How often do you guys... | ||
| I mean, it's always like small town shit. | ||
| That's like being banned from Applebee's. | ||
| Did that ever happen in the Toronto comedy scene? | ||
| Guys get banned from certain clubs. | ||
| Fuck yeah, they do. | ||
| I was banned from Niagara Square. | ||
| Stop bragging. | ||
| Yeah, let Russell Peters speak for a second, please. | ||
| In Toronto, in Canada especially, if you work for Yuck Yucks, you're not allowed to perform at any other comedy club. | ||
| No shit. | ||
| That happens. | ||
| There's a few clubs that do that. | ||
| It's funny because the young comics that I know still in Toronto will call me like, yo, I'm thinking about leaving Yuck Yucks. | ||
| I'm going to call them. | ||
| I'm like, if you're going to leave a bitch, don't fucking tell her you're leaving and just fucking bounce. | ||
| And let the hooker figure it out on her own. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Russell Peters with some chrome pimp hand type shit. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Back knuckle knocking bitches for a loop. | ||
| Clang! | ||
| And I'm referring to the corporate world as the bitch. | ||
| So if you're out of Yuck Yucks, you're out? | ||
| If you're out of Yuck Yucks, you're working for the outside, as they call it. | ||
| Very hard to do. | ||
| Yuck Yucks has good rooms. | ||
| They have a bunch of them. | ||
| They don't have great rooms, Joe. | ||
| And here's the problem in Canada. | ||
| The one in Vancouver was amazing, but they don't have that anymore. | ||
| Be careful now. | ||
| Right, that's gone now. | ||
| This is live. | ||
| Mix now, right? | ||
| What is a comedy mix? | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| They were always good to me, but that's because I never really fell for I'm your hoe fucking mentality. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Because I would leave. | ||
| Oh, you let a motherfucker know you know the game. | ||
| Right. | ||
| From 95, I started going to England. | ||
| Russell P. show up with a cane. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Word. | |
| Got a real limp. | ||
| Let him know, son. | ||
| Let him know. | ||
| Tell him why you mad, Joe. | ||
| Tell him why you mad. | ||
| Got a Barnabas Collins head on it. | ||
| A big silver dragon. | ||
| I started playing outside of Yuck Yucks in 95, like in England, and I realized that the rest of the world was there, that I didn't need to fucking focus on Canada like that. | ||
| Didn't you really get famous very quickly because of the internet, because of video clips? | ||
| Well, not really quickly. | ||
| I mean, I don't want to say like... | ||
| I was 15 years in when I got famous. | ||
| Oh, were you really? | ||
| I started in 89. Oh, I didn't know that. | ||
| In Canada, I was around since 89. Dude, I was like 8... | ||
| He was probably eight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, I was eight. | |
| He was eight when I started. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| But you became famous, as far as my world, because of the internet. | ||
| That is absolutely correct. | ||
| A bunch of people sending me clips where, like, have you heard of this Russell Peters guy? | ||
| And then, boom, YouTube clips. | ||
| You were one of the first guys that I know that really blew up because of YouTube clips. | ||
| That was in 2004, late 2004, when YouTube just started. | ||
| And then by the time the end of 05 came, I literally went from making $40,000 a year in the end of 03 to the end of 04 making half a million. | ||
| Don't tell us how much money you made. | ||
| No, no, no, but I'm saying that's what it went from. | ||
| People out there don't want to know. | ||
| They're going to ask you for loans. | ||
| From $40,000 to half a million in a year like that. | ||
| Okay, well, let's stop your progress right now and not catch up to today because people are going to get sad. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| And now I'm broke. | ||
| And that's why I'm here. | ||
| I don't mean sad like that. | ||
| I mean sad about their own lives. | ||
| When was the last time you were at the Olive Garden? | ||
| Oh, let me tell you something. | ||
| I fucking love the Olive Garden. | ||
| When were we there last? | ||
| You fuck. | ||
| You motherfucker. | ||
| When was the last time? | ||
| Seriously, when was the last time Russell Peters was at the Olive Garden? | ||
| I can't believe you snuck that in there. | ||
| November, I was at the Olive Garden. | ||
| November. | ||
| In Times Square. | ||
| Oh, that's the good one. | ||
| That's the hot spot Olive Garden. | ||
| Is that the nation's capital? | ||
| That's the hot spot Olive Garden. | ||
| There's lines to get in this Olive Garden. | ||
| Fuck yeah, there was. | ||
| It was me, DJ Spinbad, his wife, and his two kids. | ||
| Did you get in? | ||
| Did you like, I'm Russell? | ||
| No, fuck, that shit don't work at the Olive Garden, fool. | ||
| So you got the little thing you put in your pocket that gives them alarms off? | ||
| I had the CD disc-sized fucking vibrator that they give you. | ||
| You know it's the worst. | ||
| It spins in a fucking red light. | ||
| And it lights up. | ||
| It lights up. | ||
| You know it's the worst. | ||
| This is the worst thing. | ||
| True story. | ||
| That thing, if you go out of bounds, like at the Burbank Olive Garden, it's always an hour and a half to two hour wait. | ||
| So if you go out of bounds, it starts playing this really embarrassing song and it won't stop. | ||
| The coaster thing you're talking about, right? | ||
| I would go to Target, and next thing you know, I'd start playing nursery rhymes, but really loud. | ||
| It's like an ice cream truck in your pocket, and everyone's looking at you. | ||
| That's the alarm? | ||
| Yeah, it's like a way to say, hey, you're stealing something. | ||
| You're stealing the Olive Garden's property. | ||
| We're going to annoy everybody around you by this really high-pitched nursery rhyme. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're going to give you a kiss. | |
| I guess as long as it's a song, they can't pretend that it's torturing you. | ||
| Whereas if it was an alarm that went off, you could probably sue them for that shit. | ||
| Like, how do I get this to shut off? | ||
| So they can't put some audio that's like, stolen property! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, they play a nice, happy song like, hey, you're out of bounds. | ||
| They should have had an older time going, hey, what are you doing with my pager? | ||
| I went to the supermarket. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You son of a bitch! | |
| Come back! | ||
| I went to the supermarket the other day, and as I'm leaving the supermarket, the wheels on my cart lock up. | ||
| Oh yeah, it does that shit. | ||
| They had a certain distance where you could travel away from the store before the cart locked up, but this was so fucking stupid because it was right in front of the store. | ||
| Well, I do that with my mouse ears that we sell at the shows, actually. | ||
| You can buy these little headband mouse ears, and if you actually walk out 50 feet of the venue, then you're shocked. | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| Yeah, 50 volts. | ||
| Fucking sucks, dude. | ||
| The battery in it. | ||
| You have it so it's set up so the battery does it. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Talk us through that again. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, the mouse ears that we sell on our shows? | |
| And people get shocked by them? | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| But you sell them? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| Five dollars. | ||
| It's like when you go to Star Wars. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And you buy the 3D glasses or something like that. | ||
| So you're supposed to give them back? | ||
| They have to return the mouse ears? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Well, you can't. | ||
| Because if you get past the fucking barrier, you're fucked. | ||
| You're shocked. | ||
| You're shocked. | ||
| You get a little jolt. | ||
| But I'm confused. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How many shots? | |
| What are they supposed to do? | ||
| What are you supposed to do? | ||
| Come back! | ||
| They're supposed to give him back to you. | ||
| You haven't explained that. | ||
| No, I'm joking. | ||
| I'm totally taking a piss. | ||
| You're totally joking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Sorry. | ||
| I was going to leave you on, but I can't believe you took it that fucking far. | ||
| I should believe that. | ||
| I tried to help him out. | ||
| Where were you when we went off this terrible dark road? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| In comics, we analyze it like, okay, this could be real. | ||
| But that actually is kind of badass, though. | ||
| If you get that kind of Olive Garden technology and incorporate it in your show, and you're leaving a venue with a product that someone has been selling at your show or whatever. | ||
| Anyway, like I was saying, I was at the supermarket and my fucking wheels locked I've had that happen. | ||
| And so I had two choices. | ||
| Either I'm going to call someone and tell them, hey, this cart locked up, or I caveman this bitch and just dragged it. | ||
| I did that. | ||
| So I dragged it through the parking lot. | ||
| I dragged the shit out. | ||
| I did it angry, man. | ||
| And that happened to me in Canada at Urban Home Outfitters. | ||
| Yeah, and I had a shitload of shit in their fucking cart, and I'd parked far enough where I couldn't get... | ||
| I pushed the cart and they'd go, oh, sorry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So stupid. | |
| The car won't I'll go there. | ||
| Where the fuck do I have a cart then? | ||
| And it really pisses me off. | ||
| We don't have Mexicans in Canada. | ||
| I can't help with this. | ||
| Two things I never do. | ||
| Hey, hey, hey. | ||
| In a good way. | ||
| Oh, fuck the Indians are going to come out. | ||
| Two things I never do. | ||
| I never purposely litter. | ||
| I never litter and I always bring back carts. | ||
| It's not that fucking hard to do. | ||
| It's not snowing. | ||
| I don't know about these fucking carts, man. | ||
| This is all brand new. | ||
| This is like Discovery Channel shit for me. | ||
| There's carts that say you can't fucking deliver. | ||
| If you go further than a certain distance, they lock up. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| The carts will lock up. | ||
| Like they literally lock up. | ||
| It's so stupid. | ||
| So you have to drag them. | ||
| Essentially they're on like this rubber pads. | ||
| And you just grab it. | ||
| Is that so wrong? | ||
| Is that so wrong? | ||
| I mean if I own a supermarket. | ||
| It arm bars your wheels. | ||
| And I own a finite amount of fucking carts. | ||
| And people are just going to be taking those fucking things. | ||
| Make them go out to the street. | ||
| Just to the street they ring. | ||
| If you got them out there, it's August. | ||
| Well, you know, it's like a cell phone. | ||
| I'm sure it's like one of those dog things, too. | ||
| Those dog electrical fences they put up. | ||
| You gotta look at the value of the fucking cart. | ||
| The cart probably costs about like $30. | ||
| How about the value of having your customers not have to fucking drag their food? | ||
| They don't offer you like assistance. | ||
| They don't offer you somebody, okay, sir, the cart will stop here, we will have somebody help you carry. | ||
| Oh, the cart stops here, but a buddy with the bags will continue on to your car. | ||
| They'll all be Mexicans. | ||
| Steal this in a good way. | ||
| Robots. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Steal this human, but don't steal this cart. | |
| The best thing about the Olive Garden in Burbank is that you... | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's the battle. | |
| Hey, listen, this is true. | ||
| Mexicans against the robots, that's the future. | ||
| Robots before Mexicans. | ||
| Robots start taking the Mexicans' jobs. | ||
| Right when the Mexicans start taking over manufacturing. | ||
| And the worst part is the robots are programmed by Indians. | ||
| There's a Mexican Terminator. | ||
| And the worst part is the rest of America can't differentiate. | ||
| You're slogging the ditch. | ||
| There's a war going on that no one knows about. | ||
| They're like, these new Mexicans are hairy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The robots and the Mexicans... | |
| And they're Ray fucking lazier. | ||
| And they dance more. | ||
| Mexicans will start dressing up as robots. | ||
| The new Mexicans. | ||
| And they're really into movies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I am a robot! | |
| These new Mexican 2.0s are really lazy. | ||
| This is a new Indian Fight League. | ||
| Some big Indian. | ||
| I don't know why they call them Red Band. | ||
| I'm aware of it. | ||
| I know one of the guys involved. | ||
| They're going to do an ultimate fighter out of there as well. | ||
| Hey man, we can't all have conversations at the same time. | ||
| I'm really excited about this Indian Fight League actually. | ||
| It's going to be crazy. | ||
| I know one of the guys involved. | ||
| What? | ||
| There's a new MMA series starting in India. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's almost like a round robin type of thing, right? | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| It's a new company. | ||
| First of all, they got this new thing called the World Fight League or something. | ||
| WFL? They always come up with crazy names for these things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, but it's for boxing. | |
| Like boxing? | ||
| Oh, for boxing? | ||
| Yeah, it's like a boxing team. | ||
| In India? | ||
| Yeah, it's called Super Fight League. | ||
| But this is MMA. Yeah, but no, but there's the MMA one, but there's also a Super Fight League. | ||
| A boxing one? | ||
| A boxing one where they have teams from different countries that fight. | ||
| That's not going to work. | ||
| That's not going to work. | ||
| I agree, I agree. | ||
| It's not going to work. | ||
| It doesn't make any fucking sense because you can't have a solo sport fought as a team. | ||
| It doesn't make any fucking sense. | ||
| They tried that. | ||
| Not with MMA around. | ||
| With MMA around, you know, you can have a new body. | ||
| They did it for a while. | ||
| They had a thing called the IFL. Independent Fight League or something? | ||
| No, International Fight League. | ||
| Exotic Fight League. | ||
| Exotic. | ||
| Exotic with an I. IG-Sonic. | ||
| No, but you know what? | ||
| MMA's getting so big in... | ||
| Asia, like the big Asian thing is 1FC. It's like Dream from Japan, but in Southeast Asia, it's giant. | ||
| 1FC. I love Dream. | ||
| I love Pride. | ||
| Those are my favorites at first. | ||
| Pride was awesome back in the day, man. | ||
| I always wanted to go see one of those shows. | ||
| I really wish the Fertittas didn't fucking smoke it. | ||
| Well, before it went away, man, we knew Turi. | ||
| Remember when Turi worked for them? | ||
| We had a chance, man. | ||
| We were going to go to one of those live prides. | ||
| They fucked up, though. | ||
| We were coordinating it. | ||
| Because basically in most countries, organized crime runs the fight leagues. | ||
| Hey, he just said two minutes. | ||
| We've got to end this pitch. | ||
| Well, we can come back again, but we've got to stop this one recording. | ||
| Otherwise, it's going to be corrupt. | ||
| When he gets anything over three hours, you put it on iTunes and it just shits all over itself. | ||
| So we'll just stop right here. | ||
| It's like Blaze in the corner. | ||
| They're just fucking sound asleep. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty late anyway. | ||
| Listen, this has been a fantastic podcast. | ||
| We got drunk together. | ||
| We learned a lot about each other. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Eddie Bravo, any last thing you need to say before we get out of here? | ||
| Can you give me a drum beat? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Russell Peters. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's going to say boots, cats, boots, cats, boots, cats, boots, cats. | |
| and gentlemen, I just ask you to just not judge us as human beings by this show. | ||
| Don't judge us. | ||
| Don't judge us as personalities or people with the inability to form one coherent group of humans not communicating on top of each other. | ||
| Just know that it's late and we're tired and we had a bunch of time. | ||
| Can I stress how much this podcast meant to me? | ||
| I drove from Irvine, California. | ||
| That's fucked up. | ||
| I was drunk so I had Blaze drive my car from Irvine, California to here and now we're going to go back to Irvine from here. | ||
| Russell Peters. | ||
| I wanted to see you, Zimmerman. | ||
| One of the baddest motherfuckers on the planet. | ||
| I wanted to see Eddie Bravo. | ||
| I wanted to see Joe Rogan. | ||
| I wanted to see you, buddy. | ||
| I wanted to see my little brother, Red Band. | ||
| I'm always happy to see you. | ||
| Russell, you're an awesome dude, man. | ||
| The first time we ever hung out in Vegas, I'm like, this motherfucker, I love him. | ||
| We had a good time, man. | ||
| The very first time we hung out, went up to the mix, had a couple cocktails and laughs. | ||
| We had some beverages. | ||
| Hit it off fabulously. | ||
| Or would they say famously? | ||
| And I did not want to freeload off you so well. | ||
| I split the bottles with you. | ||
| Yeah, we had a good time, man. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| We had a great time. | ||
| We had fun. | ||
| What's the next UFC coming up? | ||
| What do you got coming up? | ||
| The next one is actually in Japan. | ||
| Brian's going. | ||
| I can't leave. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| A couple weeks, man. | ||
| It's got to be nuts, man. | ||
| I'm fascinated. | ||
| Fascinated what that's going to be like. | ||
| You ever been? | ||
| No, I've never been to Japan, but has Danny Glover gotten married yet? | ||
| Danny Glover? | ||
| You know what I'm talking about. | ||
| Listen. | ||
| We're speaking in code right now. | ||
| We're speaking in code, buddy. | ||
| Not to anybody. | ||
| That's not code. | ||
| I'll be right back. | ||
| That's not code. | ||
| Everybody knows what you're saying. | ||
| Nobody knows what we're saying. | ||
| I have no idea what you're saying. | ||
| I want to thank Fleshlight for tuning in. | ||
| Come on, Riggs! | ||
| The program, something, sponsorship. | ||
| 50% Rogan.net, something, something. | ||
| Go to JoeRogan.net. | ||
| Listen, Fleshlight's an excellent piece of masturbation material. | ||
| You have one handy? | ||
| I got a bunch of box at home. | ||
| Next time you come to the house, I'll hook you up. | ||
| You know what I miss about going to your house? | ||
| I miss the coconut water. | ||
| Hey, now let me ask you a question before we go. | ||
| We're almost out of time. | ||
| See how you have the mouse head and you DJ with it on, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
With the flesh. | |
| No, no, no. | ||
| On a side note. | ||
| Dude, we don't have time for this. | ||
| The file's going to be correct. | ||
| JoeRogan.net. | ||
| Thanks to the Fleshlight. | ||
| Enter in the code name Rogan. | ||
| You get a 15% off. | ||
| Go to Onnit.com. | ||
| O-N-N-I-T. Makers of Alpha Brain, Shroom Tech. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Yada, yada, yada. | ||
| Enter in the code name Rogan. | ||
| Get yourself 10% off. | ||
| Thanks to... | ||
| Deadmau5 for coming down here and hanging out with us and exposing all sorts of interesting things about life. | ||
| And Eddie Bravo, always. | ||
| My brother. | ||
| Always good to hang with you. | ||
| Russell Peters, thanks for coming. | ||
| Follow these people on Twitter, or not. | ||
| It's up to you. | ||
| You're a grown adult, hopefully. | ||
| My tweets are shit. | ||
| If you're not an adult, pretend you never heard any of this shit. | ||
| We'll see you later. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Forget you! |
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