Jan. 31, 2012 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:35:32
Participants
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Brothers. | ||
| What bitches? | ||
| What? | ||
| What? | ||
| The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by The Fleshlight. | ||
| But you know that, right? | ||
| This ain't your first rodeo. | ||
| If you go to JoeRogan.net and click on the link for The Fleshlight and enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get number one sex toy for men at 15% OFF! Wonders of wonders! | ||
| Way better than masturbating, but I gotta warn you, you feel like a fucking loser once it's over. | ||
| Especially when you're cleaning that bitch. | ||
| But, it's worth it. | ||
| You will shoot big loads, and they will make you think clearer. | ||
| Right, Denny? | ||
| Just like fucking Kundalini Yoga. | ||
| Basically the same type of shit. | ||
| Clean the mind. | ||
| Open the pipes. | ||
| Release the hounds! | ||
| We're also brought to you by Onnit.com. | ||
| O-N-N-I-T. Makers of Alpha Brain. | ||
| A cognitive enhancing supplement that I am on right now. | ||
| If you're like, hey Joe Rogan, why you talk so smooth? | ||
| Joe Rogan, why you got all those words at your beck and call? | ||
| Yo dawg, I'm on Alpha Brain. | ||
| And people are like, hey man, what's the science behind Alpha Brain? | ||
| Go to Onnit.com. | ||
| All answers will be given. | ||
| O-N-N-I-T. And we're constantly looking to improve that. | ||
| Any criticisms that we've had in the past, we absolutely appreciate it. | ||
| We are actually about to start a double blind study with... | ||
| What's that mean? | ||
| Like two blindfolds? | ||
| Shut up! | ||
| Shut your mouth, Brian! | ||
| What is double blind? | ||
| Well, you've got to fucking read. | ||
| Go online. | ||
| You need to read. | ||
|
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Google. | |
| Google double blind stuff. | ||
| Word on the street, Joe Rogan, I don't mean to disrespect. | ||
| Word on the street is you take the fucking pill, you drink coconut water, and you jerk off into the cup, and you look in the cup afterward, and that's fucking mind-boggling right there. | ||
| That's the fucking deal. | ||
| Do you take the CO2 pills? | ||
| Whatever the fuck. | ||
| CO2. We're also... | ||
| We make... | ||
| Anyway, so people that have been asking for more tests, we're on that. | ||
| We're spending a lot of money to make sure that this stuff is all legit. | ||
| It is legit for me. | ||
| I use it. | ||
| It works without a doubt. | ||
| No questions for me. | ||
| I've tried it. | ||
| I've gotten off of it. | ||
| I've tried it again. | ||
| Fuck with myself as much as possible to see a placebo effect. | ||
| It's not there. | ||
| It's legit. | ||
| I also love Shroom Tech Sport, which is the Cordyceps Mushroom Supplement, a supplement that aids in your body's ability to process oxygen. | ||
| It really makes a nice difference in any extreme exercise. | ||
| If you're into jiu-jitsu, if you take like... | ||
| Kettlebell classes or into CrossFit or anything like that, you will definitely find an advantage. | ||
| You will definitely feel an effect of this Shroom Tech sport. | ||
| But if you're just like a regular person who doesn't exercise or you barely exercise, don't waste your money. | ||
| If you also go to Onnit.com, we also have Shroom Tech Immune, which everyone should check out. | ||
| It's fascinating. | ||
| And the way it works, the way it's been explained to me, I'm obviously no scientist. | ||
| But your body recognizes this mushroom. | ||
| It's a different mushroom than the shroom tech sport. | ||
| Your body recognizes it as a possible disease or a cold. | ||
| So your immune system fires up for a fight that never takes place. | ||
| And so it just really generally boosts your immune system. | ||
| I am a big believer in a bunch of different things to keep your immune system strong. | ||
| I'm a big believer in this shroom tech immune, but I'm also a big believer in probiotics, and everyone should look into that. | ||
| I have no financial stake in this, but drink kombucha tea. | ||
| A lot of people have been just talking so highly about the benefits, the health benefits of this stuff for years and years. | ||
| I did it when I first came to LA. I tried it, but I was like, this stuff tastes kind of nasty. | ||
| It's a weird sort of an acquired taste. | ||
| But then about a year or two years ago, I started drinking it on a regular basis because GT's, kombucha, and they make Synergy and all these different flavors. | ||
| They started selling them at Whole Foods, so it was like super easy to buy. | ||
| And I started drinking them all the time. | ||
| And one thing I noticed is I stopped getting sick. | ||
| I think it has a big difference. | ||
| When you take in live organisms like probiotics, whether it's acidophilus, that's another great one to take, and spend the money and get that shit that you have to keep in your refrigerator if you can afford it. | ||
| Because that's what you really want. | ||
| They're really healthy live cultures. | ||
| And essentially what it does is, you know, these live cultures act as a security force and they fight off all the cunty cultures. | ||
| So any cunty bacteria that you come across, you want to have these probiotics at your beck and call like a live army to fight off the cunts of the disease world. | ||
| So look at it that way. | ||
| And this is, by the way, nothing that we sell. | ||
| But get your ass on some acidophilus. | ||
| Get your ass on some kombucha tea. | ||
| Check out, we also have, uh... | ||
| New Mood, which is a 5-HTP enhancement supplement. | ||
| And what that is is 5-HTP actually helps your brain build serotonin. | ||
| And interesting stuff, if you are on antidepressants, they recommend you not take it because it actually can give you too much serotonin along with your antidepressants together combined. | ||
| It's not so good. | ||
| So talk to your doctor and all that stuff, but by itself, if you're not on any medication, it's absolutely safe. | ||
| Just don't go crazy and take the whole bottle in one sitting, you fucking freak. | ||
| You're on cocaine today. | ||
| No, I'm not. | ||
| I'm healthy. | ||
| I'm healthy and I've been working out. | ||
| I've been working out for the first time in months, man. | ||
| I've had this fucking pulled muscle. | ||
| You were on fire today. | ||
| Yesterday I did kettlebells. | ||
| I kicked the bag. | ||
| I'm a fucking... | ||
| I'm back, bitches! | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Anyway, go to onnit.com. | ||
| O-N-N-I-T. That's O-N-N-I-T.com. | ||
| Enter in the code name ROGEN and you'll get 10% off. | ||
| Most importantly... | ||
| When you order, every order that you get is 100% money back guarantee, but only for the first 30 pills. | ||
| And you say, why? | ||
| It used to be 100% guarantee all the time. | ||
| Because the world is full of cunts, that's why. | ||
| And because some douchebag thought it would be cool to order a fuckload of bottles, get all of his money back, and then sell the bottles on eBay. | ||
| So because of the cunts of the world, even if you make a big order and you decide somewhere along the line that you don't like it, you can't get your money back. | ||
| So if you do want your money back and it's a big order, you have to send in the unopened bottles. | ||
| The first 30 pills, though, you can eat them, you can stuff them up your ass, you can throw them in the toilet, whatever the fuck you want to do with them, and then tell us, I don't like it. | ||
| And we give you all your money back. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because... | ||
| I'm in a weird position. | ||
| I'm in a position where people are like, what are you trying to rip people off? | ||
| Absolutely fucking not. | ||
| But I do believe in this stuff. | ||
| And there's only one way to sell something you believe in it. | ||
| You got to sell it and make it as easy as possible for everybody. | ||
| And make your intentions as positive and as clear as possible. | ||
| And I don't think you can be any clearer than offering someone 100% of their money back if they don't like the product. | ||
| You don't have to send it in. | ||
| You don't have to do shit. | ||
| Just, if you, the first 30 pills, just take them and then if you don't like it, you get your money back. | ||
| Also, if you think it's too expensive, I urge you, go to the website. | ||
| All the ingredients are clearly listed in the exact doses. | ||
| Buy all this stuff in bulk and save money and do it at a discount. | ||
| Make your own alpha brain. | ||
| Try it out. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| Use other people's stuff. | ||
| Have a good life. | ||
| Eat nutrients. | ||
| Take vitamins. | ||
| Eat healthy food. | ||
| Eat fresh vegetables. | ||
| Get your dick sucked every now and again. | ||
| Am I right, Joe Diaz? | ||
| Come on, dawg. | ||
| Am I right, Eddie Bravo? | ||
| Don't forget the fucking OG to add that in there. | ||
| Throw some OG, bro. | ||
| Couple jumping jacks and a little swimming. | ||
| Let's kick this bitch off. | ||
| Let's kick this motherfucker off. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
|
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The Joe Rogan Experience. | |
| Train by day. | ||
| Joe Rogan Podcast by night. | ||
|
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All day. | |
| Thank God men like Nick Diaz exist. | ||
| This weekend, Nick Diaz and Carlos Condit. | ||
| Thank God those guys exist. | ||
| Thank God those guys exist, and thank God those guys have built themselves up to the point where this is one of those matches where five fucking rounds, man, you can't wait. | ||
| You're going to be palms sweaty, rubbing your hands together before that bitch. | ||
| I don't know who's going to be the referee for this. | ||
| I don't know who it is, but before that one person looks at the blue corner and then walks at the red corner and then says, Fight! | ||
| That shit is going to be crazy! | ||
| And poor Carlos Condor. | ||
| He's been training for eight years for the fucking fight. | ||
| Yeah, perfect. | ||
| Eight years he's been fucking training. | ||
| Every two months they change opponents. | ||
| Perfect. | ||
| He's had 19 fucking opponents like Batman in season one. | ||
| For him, I think it's perfect. | ||
| Because he's so prepared. | ||
| He's so prepared. | ||
| He's ready to rock. | ||
| It's a perfect time for him. | ||
| 160 plus 130. The line is not that bad. | ||
|
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It's minus 160. You would be crazy to pick a favorite in this fight. | |
| I think he'd be crazy. | ||
| I think that this is one of those who the fuck knows what's going to happen fights. | ||
| This could be... | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| It's going to be amazing. | ||
| It's going to be amazing. | ||
| For Doom Roy Nelson, too. | ||
| Yeah, for Doom Roy Nelson, too. | ||
| I forgot all about that. | ||
| Oh, how about Hennon Burrow and Scott Jorgensen? | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| That Hennon Burrell dude, he's the dark horse of the pound for pound division because he's not a champion yet, but he might be one of the top pound for pound guys. | ||
| He's right up there with Aldo. | ||
| He's a beast. | ||
| Did you see his last fight with Brad Pickett? | ||
| He hit homeboy with a knee to the face with no jump. | ||
| Just fucking leaped up with his knee. | ||
| You know, instead of that thing where they lift the front leg and then they come up with the right leg, they'll start with the left leg and then they use it as force to kick up with the right leg. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Some of these badass Brazilians, like Anderson can do it too, where they just fly through the fucking air with one knee. | ||
| And Burrell just lifted that knee up and crack! | ||
| Caught Brad Pickett in the chin. | ||
| I mean, he's a beast, dude. | ||
| And his jiu-jitsu is fucking sick. | ||
| You know, as soon as Brad Pickett, like, stumbled and he saw a position, he jumped on that back so quick, man. | ||
| It was a thing of beauty, man. | ||
| I saw the UFC special on Nick Diaz, Carlos Condit. | ||
| Which one? | ||
| Episode 1? | ||
| Shit, I don't know. | ||
| Episode 2, I don't know if it's aired yet. | ||
| Is it aired yet? | ||
| Well, the one where they have Nick Diaz, like, kindergarten teacher. | ||
| Yeah, isn't that funny? | ||
| Damn, she remembered Nick, right? | ||
|
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Of course she did. | |
| She remembered Nick. | ||
| And this is... | ||
| I learned a lot about Nick. | ||
| And... | ||
| I come up with a hypothesis. | ||
| Before, in the early days, if you were a black belt in jiu-jitsu, shit, you had a shot at the title. | ||
| And then it became, if you were an Olympic wrestler, damn, you have a shot at the title. | ||
| Now it's obvious, now it's becoming more like all other sports. | ||
| If you didn't wrestle, do jiu-jitsu, and worked on your striking since day one as a kid, because there's so many kids doing that, all three now, it's like you're not gonna have a shot in the very near future. | ||
| And I think there's one more factor, and that's the Nick Diaz factor. | ||
| Obviously, he doesn't like cameras. | ||
| He's said it a million times. | ||
| He doesn't like to talk in front of cameras. | ||
| He's not into it, and maybe he's shy in front of the camera or whatever, and his teacher was even saying that he wasn't the most vocal guy, and he had trouble expressing himself and all that shit. | ||
| When he gets in that cage and that door slams shut and the crowd is roaring, there's no more fucking talking. | ||
| He just comes alive. | ||
| He looks at his opponent and he's like, nobody could fucking hear you. | ||
| You could be the most articulate, funny, charismatic guy on the fucking planet, but you know what? | ||
| I fucking run all day, swim all day, I got a crazy chin. | ||
| I'm gonna fucking kill this motherfucker. | ||
| That's an X factor right there. | ||
| You have to look for that, I think, in the future in fighters. | ||
| Do they have that switch where when they fucking get in that cage, it really is life or death for them. | ||
| His is a very different thing than anybody else's. | ||
| First of all, his approach to it is so different than anybody else's in that he does endurance training, like long-distance marathon-type training, and basically forces these guys to try to keep up with him. | ||
| I mean, he basically puts them into an endurance contest and tries to get them to keep up with them. | ||
| That's why he does a lot of juking and a lot of getting in their face. | ||
| All that stuff tenses you up, all that stuff. | ||
| You know, all those punches that he throws at 50-60%, all those tighten you up. | ||
| You know, one of the things that Frank Shamrock said was that when Nick Diaz was punching him, he hits you so often you can't breathe. | ||
| You don't know when to breathe. | ||
| You can't relax. | ||
| Because you never get to relax. | ||
| Because they just keep coming. | ||
| Which is just different. | ||
| He just fights in a different way. | ||
| I think the way he does it is brilliant. | ||
| It's so brilliant because no one else did it before him. | ||
| No one else figured out that way to fight. | ||
| No one else really would not just have great skills, but have ridiculous world-class endurance, like swim from Alcatraz endurance. | ||
| That's nutty shit, man. | ||
| They said they went through a countdown. | ||
| He sparred some ridiculous amount of rounds, then he ran five miles, and then he swam for an hour and a half. | ||
| That was just one day. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he just does that all day. | ||
| He just does it all the time. | ||
| Maybe he has some kind of condition where he's obsessed with exercise? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, I think he loves it for sure. | ||
| I mean, when he was a kid, he said that he, you know, I think he said it was, one of the countdown shows, his, I think it was his uncle or someone, was like a track coach. | ||
| A track coach or something. | ||
| Yeah, and he used to take him. | ||
| His grandfather, Danny Propagos. | ||
| But that's the other thing too. | ||
| Here's the other thing too with him. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| He doesn't like fucking talking. | ||
| You smoke a joint. | ||
| What do you feel like doing? | ||
| Go for a fucking run. | ||
| See what happens to your head. | ||
| It feels great. | ||
| It feels great. | ||
| I smoke a joint and I go to fucking swim fit for an hour. | ||
| You feel like fucking Hercules when you come out. | ||
| And that's his world. | ||
| That's his fucking world. | ||
| Smokes weed and runs. | ||
| That's where his endurance comes from. | ||
| From going, I don't want to hang out with these dumb fucks. | ||
| I might stab somebody. | ||
| I'll just smoke a joint and run until the fucking high wears off. | ||
| And he runs for fucking two hours. | ||
| When I lived in Boulder, I used to smoke and run. | ||
| And the high, when you finish fucking running, is a complete different dimension. | ||
| Yeah, even when you smoke and lift, man. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| You feel all your muscle tissue. | ||
| Like when you're pressing weights, you feel it. | ||
| You feel your whole body moving. | ||
| Smoking and rolling. | ||
| They say, well, not just that, yoga. | ||
| Smoking and doing yoga. | ||
| Oh, an edible? | ||
|
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Tremendous. | |
| That's the way you're supposed to do it. | ||
| It is edible. | ||
|
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Tremendous. | |
| I used to eat an edible. | ||
| You're supposed to eat hash. | ||
| I used to take a little piece of banana bread or a little hash cookie. | ||
| I'd take it at 7 in the morning and go to 8.30 yoga. | ||
| You know what my head is at at 8.30? | ||
| And the bitch is smoking! | ||
| And I would just go into it, little by little, and it's amazing. | ||
| It's fucking amazing. | ||
| When you walk out of there, you don't know what hit you. | ||
| You really don't. | ||
| So that's what my thing is with him. | ||
| That he just, you know what? | ||
| He's not the type of guy that's going to go to a club or whatever. | ||
| What would you do? | ||
| Smoke a joint and smoke a fucking run. | ||
| He's the last guy I'd want to fight. | ||
| Because think about it. | ||
| Compare him to GSP and even Jon Jones and Anderson Silva. | ||
| What he has that they don't have, maybe they will develop it, is he will stand right in front of you and exchange with you. | ||
| And he's down to go to war right in front of you. | ||
| I mean, GSB ain't gonna do that. | ||
| Jon Jones probably won't even do that. | ||
| And if you decide to take him down? | ||
| He'll fuck you up on the ground, too. | ||
| His jiu-jitsu is amazing. | ||
| Yeah, that cyborg fight. | ||
| What the fuck are you going to do? | ||
| That's a perfect example of that. | ||
| Yeah, what are you going to do with Nick Diaz? | ||
| Yeah, he was killing him. | ||
| What are you going to do with him? | ||
| Cyborg, he was killing cyborg standing up, so cyborg took him down and whoop, armbar. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| Within 30 seconds, he had him in an armbar. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, GSP might be able to take him down, but what is he going to do? | ||
| He's not going to pass his guard. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's not going to pass Nick Diaz's guard. | ||
| It's not going to happen. | ||
| He doesn't get tired when you're on top of him either. | ||
| You know, a lot of dudes, man, you put them on their back and they just get exhausted. | ||
| They get demoralized. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| They get exhausted. | ||
| Unless we see his chin fall apart, man, I can't see him losing. | ||
| Well, you know, that can happen to some fighters when they take beatings. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It can happen. | ||
| At a certain time. | ||
| We've seen it happen over and over, you know, with Vanderlei and so many guys. | ||
| Chuck. | ||
| Eventually, they had iron chins. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| And they would come... | ||
| Even if they got robbed... | ||
| Well, Vanderlei never had an iron chin. | ||
| Vanderlei got dropped a lot. | ||
| Sakuraba dropped him. | ||
| A lot of people dropped him. | ||
| Henderson had him really badly hurt. | ||
| His chin is a lot worse now. | ||
| It's a lot worse. | ||
| Arguably. | ||
| Arguably. | ||
| But, you know, he was already just this dude who ran face first. | ||
| You know, one of the things that made Vanderlei great was how reckless he was. | ||
| You know, he didn't give a fuck. | ||
| He would charge at you literally like a wild dog. | ||
| You know, he'd be like a pit bull just running at you. | ||
| But that style gets you hurt. | ||
| You know, that style. | ||
| I mean, he's the... | ||
| It's not a coincidence that he's the only guy of his era that had to have facial reconstruction so he could breathe. | ||
| You know, his nose was flattened, smashed flattened. | ||
| If you go and look at his face from when he first entered into Pride and then his face in his first UFC fight with Chuck, he's a completely different person. | ||
| You wouldn't even recognize him. | ||
| He was a handsome guy. | ||
| When he first got into Pride, he was a fucking handsome guy. | ||
| Vanderlei. | ||
| Look at Vanderlei. | ||
| He thought he was hot? | ||
| Pretty sexy. | ||
| I'd dance with him. | ||
| He was cute. | ||
| He was sexy. | ||
| He was a completely different looking person. | ||
| Nogueira as well. | ||
| Nogueira's face looks way different too. | ||
| How about Nate fucking Diaz? | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| It's like a carbon copy of Nick Diaz. | ||
| We got two Nick Diazes. | ||
| We don't just have one. | ||
| That's fucking incredible. | ||
| He was just like maybe a year behind Nick Diaz sort of in development it seemed like. | ||
| Like maybe in jujitsu he was a little behind and in the striking and in the striking power and now he's like caught up to Nick Diaz. | ||
| I think he had some weight problems too where he didn't cut the weight right and now he cuts it right and now he has way more energy because when he went up to 170 you know he had some fights where he looked badass like the Rory Markham fight. | ||
| Holy shit and I thought man You know, this kid is draining himself too much to get down to 55, but then he figured out how to do 55 right. | ||
| And he came in and the Gomi fight just fucking lit Gomi up. | ||
| But Cerrone fight was even more impressive because he did it for three fucking rounds. | ||
| So it shows that he's got endurance. | ||
| At 155, too. | ||
| And he lit Cowboy up, man. | ||
| I mean, I thought that was going to be a crazy close fight. | ||
| It's like sort of how I feel about this Condit fight. | ||
| I don't know what the hell's going to happen. | ||
| I look at it, I'm like, man, both guys are tough as fuck. | ||
| Both guys have mad skills. | ||
| Both guys can survive. | ||
| Some dudes can't be the nail, you know? | ||
| Some dudes can be the hammer, but when they're the nail, they fall apart. | ||
| Condit doesn't fall apart, man. | ||
| Condit got... | ||
| Bombed on by Jake Ellenberger. | ||
| Ellenberger had him in all sorts of trouble. | ||
| And Ellenberger puts people away. | ||
| That kid hits fucking hard. | ||
| He's one of the hardest hitting guys at 170. And he bombed Condit. | ||
| And Condit covered up, weathered the storm, and came back. | ||
| That was the first fucking round, man. | ||
| He was in all sorts of trouble in the first round. | ||
| Where a lot of referees would have pulled that trigger. | ||
| A lot of referees would have stopped that fight if they didn't respect him. | ||
| If they didn't know him. | ||
| If he was like a new guy into the UFC. How did that fight end again? | ||
| He won a decision. | ||
| Won a close decision. | ||
|
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Okay. | |
| But it was a great fucking fight. | ||
| But what it proved to me is that Condit is no frontrunner. | ||
| He's a dude that is in it to win it. | ||
| The Rory McDonald fight. | ||
| Another perfect example. | ||
| He came on the third round. | ||
| Third round. | ||
| Came back and stopped him. | ||
| Lost the first two rounds. | ||
| Came back in the third round and stopped him. | ||
| And that kid is a fucking phenom, man. | ||
| That Rory McDonald, man. | ||
|
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He's a Yeah, he crushed him on the ground. | |
| He broke his face open on the ground. | ||
| Condit's an animal. | ||
| He's a real fucking killer. | ||
| That guy's a straight killer. | ||
| What he said in that countdown show was badass. | ||
| He goes, I want the referee to rescue you. | ||
| I want the referee to come in and save your life. | ||
| Save your fucking life, man. | ||
| When a dude thinks like that, that's a killer, man. | ||
| I mean, if he wasn't doing this, he would be somewhere working for the military, shooting people in Iraq. | ||
| I always said that about him. | ||
| He's a killer. | ||
| He's a fucking killer. | ||
| I mean, that natural born killer, that's not just a nickname. | ||
| You know, you can talk all that tough guy shit you want. | ||
| What happens when you actually get in there and you're throwing down? | ||
| When that guy's actually in there and he's throwing down, he's a fucking stone cold killer. | ||
| They both are. | ||
| They're both stone cold killers. | ||
| Neither guy's going to be scared of the other guy. | ||
| Both guys are going to be just going in there, ready to just let it all hang out. | ||
| This is going to be a crazy weekend. | ||
| I wish I wasn't working. | ||
| I wish I would fucking get Kenny Florian to fill in. | ||
| I want to get hammered. | ||
| I want to sit cage side. | ||
| I'm going to take it easy this time. | ||
| It would be an honor to call this fight, don't get me wrong, but there's fights like that where I wish I could just go, oh shit, oh shit! | ||
| Kajak and Mike Pearce, yeah. | ||
| Those are two home run hitters. | ||
| Both great wrestlers. | ||
| Pearce is dangerous for everybody. | ||
| He's one of those guys that eventually he's going to catch on. | ||
| Eventually Pearce is going to hit his stride and he's going to be Johnny Hendrickson dudes. | ||
| You know, like Johnny Hendrickson just took out Finch. | ||
| There's these wrestler dudes that are just, they're striking and slowly getting better, slowly getting better, but the power's always there. | ||
| It's just a matter of figuring out how to put fist to face. | ||
| And they're getting better at it. | ||
| And Johnny Hendricks, man, the way he put out John Fitch like that with one punch. | ||
| I'll tell you what. | ||
| Johnny Hendricks hits anybody with that punch. | ||
| Anybody. | ||
| And you're fucksville. | ||
| Fucked. | ||
| That guy hits really hard. | ||
| There's some guys you watch him hit dudes in the cage. | ||
| And, you know, you say, well, hey, that's a strong guy. | ||
| That's an athletic guy. | ||
| Hendricks is one of those guys. | ||
| He's got that extra... | ||
| There's that extra... | ||
| There's some dudes when they hit you, you hear it. | ||
| When you hear them hit the bag, you know, you ever know when you hear a guy hit the bag and he goes, this motherfucker's got that extra pop to it. | ||
| That's what Hendrix has got. | ||
| You either have that or you don't have that. | ||
| I mean, you can certainly make your punching power better. | ||
| You certainly build your muscles up a bit, put some weight on, learn how to turn your body into things better. | ||
| But some dudes just know how to throw. | ||
| And that Hendrix cat knows how to throw. | ||
| And so does Pierce. | ||
| He knows how to fuck, especially that left hook. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, oh, oh. | |
| He's got power. | ||
| And Koscheck too, man. | ||
| Koscheck is dangerous as fuck, man. | ||
| That Matt Hughes fight, that was a brutal assassination, man. | ||
| You know, that was a brutal ending to that fight, which you kind of knew what was going to happen. | ||
| Stylistically, you're like, well, here's two really good wrestlers, but one of them has stupid knockout power. | ||
| And the other one, you know, has been knocked out a few times. | ||
| It's not the best stylistic matchup for Hughes, you know? | ||
| You know, he's going to fight again. | ||
| He's looking for another fight. | ||
| Hughes. | ||
| Man, Hughes and Hoist Gracie, they should make that happen, man. | ||
| He'll kill Hoist. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| It's a good rematch. | ||
| Hoist wants it really bad. | ||
| No matter what happens, it's still going to be a match. | ||
| I shouldn't say he'll kill Hoist because you never know what the fuck is going to happen. | ||
| And Hoist Gracie's a legend. | ||
| But based on that first fight, I would hate to see that again. | ||
| Unless there was something wrong with Hoist. | ||
| Is Hoist claiming he was sick or something? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Hoist is an all-time great. | ||
| He's the original legend. | ||
| He was the first jiu-jitsu guy, the first guy to show the world. | ||
| If it wasn't for him, I would have never known. | ||
| None of us would have ever known if it wasn't for his accomplishments in the Ultimate Fighting Championship. | ||
| None of us would have ever known. | ||
| But that was a long fucking time ago. | ||
| And errors, they pass for a reason. | ||
| At a certain point in time, your body just does not move the same anymore. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And the world passes you by. | ||
| And when that happens, you gotta step aside, man. | ||
| You gotta step aside. | ||
| You can't just be going out there and getting knocked out all the time. | ||
| And get hurt all the time. | ||
| Because it's just, it's just reality. | ||
| You know, reality, there's a certain point in time where all of us are gonna be dust, man. | ||
| And the only way this sport really works is that we stop people from competing when they hit that point. | ||
| Because they don't believe it. | ||
| The same thing that makes someone a great fighter makes someone say, no, you're all wrong. | ||
| I'm gonna prove the world. | ||
| I'm gonna go out one more time. | ||
| I'm making a comeback. | ||
| But that's how guys get fucked up. | ||
| Yeah, but they gotta decide for themselves. | ||
| If Hoist wants to fight, I would love to see Hoist Matt Hughes. | ||
| Really? | ||
| He wants it. | ||
| If Matt Hughes wants another fight, that's a great rematch, man. | ||
| What if Matt Hughes got on his back just like before? | ||
| That'd be fine. | ||
| Bombing him in the head. | ||
| Herb Dean would come in and stop it at the perfect time? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like he always does. | |
| I don't want to watch that fight again. | ||
| I don't want to watch... | ||
| I love Hoise too much, man. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| Like I said, he's a legend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's a hero. | |
| He's not going to get killed. | ||
| He'll tap out. | ||
| It's not that. | ||
| People lose fights all the time. | ||
| I don't want to see him fight in that. | ||
| Unless there was something really wrong with him. | ||
| Unless he's different now. | ||
| He wants it really bad. | ||
| I think that's good enough. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| You know who else wants Hoise? | ||
| Who? | ||
| Your boy. | ||
| My boy? | ||
| Dan Hardy. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Dan Hardy's been calling him out. | ||
| That'd be a good fight, too. | ||
| He doesn't like him, apparently. | ||
| That'd be a good fight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You don't think Hughes would be able to take Dan Hardy down fairly easily? | ||
| Unless Dan's worked really hard on his wrestling. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm assuming he's working, like, day and night on takedown defense. | ||
| If Hughes goes back to the way he was wrestling when he was at his peak, I mean, if that's possible, if his body can still do that, man... | ||
| Remember those days, like the Sakurai days? | ||
| When, you know, people forget how dominant that motherfucker was. | ||
| You know, he was dominant, man. | ||
| He was like one of the first dominant wrestlers, actually, that learned submissions, too. | ||
| So he wouldn't just beat you up. | ||
| He started strangling guys, taking backs. | ||
| He started getting arm bars and shit. | ||
| Frank Trigg. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Didn't he beat him twice? | ||
| Beat him twice with a rear naked choke. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The second time after he got kicked in the balls. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Those were great days, man. | ||
| Remember, he picked him up and walked him across. | ||
| After Frank Trigg was bombing on him, Frank Trigg got his back, and it looked bad. | ||
| But Frank Trigg does not know how to finish that joke. | ||
| He doesn't know how to defend or finish. | ||
| And Hughes picked him up, walked him to the middle of the fucking cage, and threw him against the ground. | ||
| It was awesome, man. | ||
| It was awesome. | ||
| That was like one of the best moments ever. | ||
| Like MMA moments come from behind, you know, from being stuck. | ||
| Guy kicks you in the balls, hits you with a bunch of shots, takes your back. | ||
| And this is in a rematch of a fight where you fucked him up in the first fight and you didn't want to fight him in the second fight anyway. | ||
| And then he starts winning and then Hughes just mustered it all up and turned it all around. | ||
| That was amazing. | ||
| That was some amazing shit. | ||
| Yeah, some good high guard action in that fight as well. | ||
| See, a guy like Hughes, I mean, I think Hughes is a great fighter, but I think a certain number of knockouts, they have to step in and stop you from doing that. | ||
| You know, whether it's your family, whether it's your friends, whether it's, you know, your boss, there's a certain amount of times. | ||
| You know, I've talked to, there's a guy that I know very well who is a traumatic brain injury specialist. | ||
| And what he deals with is rehabilitating people and... | ||
| And helping people with all these mental imbalances that people have due to traumatic brain injuries. | ||
| One of the things that happens is your body stops producing testosterone. | ||
| You get really lethargic. | ||
| You get depressed. | ||
| That happens to a lot of guys that have a bunch of head injuries. | ||
| They get depressed. | ||
| Apparently, your brain can only take a few concussions in your life. | ||
| Who needs to retire right now? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who? | |
| I would never tell any of them to retire, but... | ||
| There's a few dudes that I would pull aside and I would say, you know, think about this a little bit, you know? | ||
| I don't want to say because I'm in my position, you know, being a commentator. | ||
| But there's a lot of them. | ||
| Any dudes who've been knocked out a gang at times. | ||
| But there's guys that violate that shit, like Alistair Overeem. | ||
| Al Starover even been stopped a bunch of times, dude. | ||
| He's been knocked out a gang of times, man. | ||
| How many times? | ||
| A lot. | ||
| I would bet he's been stopped at least eight times. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he's been... | ||
| Chuck knocked him out, okay? | ||
| Badr Hari knocked him out in kickboxing. | ||
| What is that big dude that used to fight King of the Cage? | ||
| Real angry guy. | ||
| Hoffman, Bobby Hoffman. | ||
| Bobby Hoffman knocked him out. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Yeah, Bobby Hoffman KO'd him. | ||
| Shogun KO'd him, I believe. | ||
| A bunch of dudes stopped him, man. | ||
| Oh, Karatanov knocked him out. | ||
| A bunch of dudes stopped Overeem, but Overeem figured it out, man. | ||
| And one of the things he figured out, he was just too fucking small. | ||
| He was too small at 205, you know, when he moved up to heavyweight. | ||
| But then again, Karatanov, I think Karatanov jacked him at heavyweight. | ||
| He started, you know, I don't know what changed in him, man, what changed his ultimate dedication, what changed in his intensity, what changed, but no one's ever turned it around like Overeem. | ||
| No one's ever gone from being stopped like eight times. | ||
| And back when he was fighting at 205 in MMA, he was thought of as a tough guy, a tough guy, but a guy who would gas out. | ||
| He goes from that to be the first guy to win a world title in both MMA and K-1 kickboxing. | ||
| No one's ever done that before. | ||
| No one ever won the K-1 Grand Prix and won an MMA title and looks like that. | ||
| Who the fuck looks like Alistair Overeem? | ||
| I mean, he's a goddamn superhero in a comic book. | ||
| He turned it around. | ||
| So when you got a guy like that, you kind of can't say anything. | ||
| You know, you look at Mirko Krokop and you go, man, I love Krokop. | ||
| He's a legend. | ||
| He's got one of the greatest highlight reels of all time. | ||
| Those head kick knockouts, one after the other. | ||
| But at a certain point in time, how many times can Krokop get knocked out before someone doesn't want to, you know, you feel bad for him, you know? | ||
| You know, it's amazing the alertness of the whole concussion thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, everybody's hip to it now. | ||
| Like, I was watching 60 Minutes Tuesday night. | ||
| And they interviewed Roger Goodall, the whatever of the NFL, and on Monday he reviews tapes to see who gets concussions. | ||
| And they showed a guy hitting another guy, like a wide receiver, getting hit by a defensive back. | ||
| And he pointed the defensive back, getting the concussion, and staying in the fucking game. | ||
| So they're fighting him now. | ||
| They stay in the fucking game with the concussion. | ||
| Because, you know, you don't want to go the fuck out. | ||
| You're rocking. | ||
| You're playing. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| So you don't even feel it. | ||
| But it's amazing how the guys are staying in voluntarily. | ||
| So who the fuck are you to tell them? | ||
| It's dangerous, man. | ||
| It's really dangerous. | ||
| And these football players, they're finding out now. | ||
| These guys, by the time they even get to college, a lot of them are fucked up. | ||
| Remember that dude who died? | ||
| Henry something? | ||
| Henry died in the back of a pickup truck? | ||
| Football player really recently? | ||
| You don't know what I'm talking about? | ||
| No. | ||
| He and his girlfriend were arguing. | ||
| He jumped in the back of her pickup truck. | ||
| Google that shit, Brian, if you can. | ||
| Henry something. | ||
| Henry, football player, dead pickup truck. | ||
| Anyway, the dude died. | ||
| Don't put Bud Olien. | ||
| The dude died, and he was only 28, I think, and they checked out his brain. | ||
| He had a brain of like an old man. | ||
| His brain was all fucked up. | ||
| His brain showed massive damage because he had been KO'd who knows how many times by the time he got to the pros. | ||
| You get KO'd in high school. | ||
| You get KO'd in junior high school. | ||
| I talked to a dude who had a fucking 11-year-old son. | ||
| And his 11-year-old son got knocked out for a half an hour. | ||
| And they put him back in a month later. | ||
| A month later, that kid's playing football again. | ||
| I'm like, you're crazy. | ||
| One of my students got knocked out in... | ||
| Chris Henry. | ||
| Chris Henry, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it was his story. | ||
| Does it say anything about his brain? | ||
| Cincinnati Bengals football player Chris Henry died after he fell... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hold on. | |
| After he fell... | ||
| Oh, the shit. | ||
| It just went away. | ||
| He fell off the back of a pickup truck, right? | ||
| Yeah, pickup truck. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| These guys, man, they don't realize. | ||
| A lot of people, you know, they had no idea. | ||
| So they were just throwing these people back in over and over and over again. | ||
| And now they're starting to put it together. | ||
| What are you doing over there, Joey? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| Checking something, man. | ||
| Well, one of my guys got knocked out last weekend in an amateur show, and he wasn't knocked out completely. | ||
| It was controversial, almost. | ||
| The ref stopped it. | ||
| It was on the fence whether it was early or not. | ||
| He got up right away and was complaining. | ||
| He was never out, but he was a little rocked. | ||
| I didn't complain about the stoppage. | ||
| It looked legit. | ||
| He got rocked standing and then got taken down, a couple ground and pound against a cage. | ||
| He never was out. | ||
| Popped up. | ||
| By the time we got backstage, And he sat down. | ||
| He didn't remember anything about the fight. | ||
| Not one thing about the fight. | ||
| Yeah, they don't remember anything about the day. | ||
| He wasn't even out, though. | ||
| That's the crazy thing. | ||
| He wasn't even out, and he doesn't remember. | ||
| He didn't remember the name of the hotel we were in. | ||
| Well, you remember when we saw Tim Sylvia? | ||
| We were in the hotel bar. | ||
| We were waiting to get our car to the airport, and it was the next day after he fought Randy Couture. | ||
| He fought five rounds against Randy and lost his title, and he came up to us, and he goes, dude, I don't even remember the fight. | ||
| And he goes, I remember the bell ringing, and then I remember sitting in the corner asking my corner what round it was. | ||
| It's the last round. | ||
| And he's like, what? | ||
| The last round? | ||
| Like, he just fought five rounds on instinct. | ||
| He had no idea what happened. | ||
| He got hit with one right hand early in the fight and just had no idea what happened. | ||
| Yeah, that's, you know, we don't, you know, that's why it drives me crazy when someone will call a fighter a pussy, or this guy, you know, he never brings it, he fights like a wet blanket. | ||
| You go get your fucking brains rearranged, son. | ||
| You go get someone's shin kicking you up the side of the head. | ||
| You know, there's a lot of guys that criticize guys for being boring. | ||
| You know, it doesn't bother me at all. | ||
| I mean, maybe I don't necessarily want to see them, but I respect what they're doing. | ||
| I respect, like, Antonio McKee. | ||
| A lot of guys give him a lot of shit, you know? | ||
| Because he, you know, he kind of, like, wrestles guys to the ground. | ||
| He never gets into, like, stand-up exchanges with guys too much and doesn't take any damage. | ||
| But that's the key. | ||
| He doesn't take any damage. | ||
| Yeah, it might not be the most exciting thing in the world, but if you want to fight, really, that's a smart way to fight, man. | ||
| Smart way to fight is just close shop. | ||
| Close everything. | ||
| There'll be no one punching. | ||
| There'll be no nothing. | ||
| There'll be you on your back and me punching you a little bit here and again, but nothing crazy because I don't want to get submitted, and then I'll win every fight. | ||
| You know, it's not the smartest way to do it because it's a sport and you're also marketing yourself. | ||
| It's entertainment, but I understand it. | ||
| I'll never call one of those guys a pussy. | ||
| It's a smart way to fight, man. | ||
| What'd you think of these fights this last weekend? | ||
| It was tough matchups, you know. | ||
| First of all, the Damian Maia-Weidman fight. | ||
| Weidman cut a shitload of weight. | ||
| He took that fight on 11 days notice, and you could tell when he was in there. | ||
| He struggled. | ||
| And even Ray Longo gave it away in the corner. | ||
| Ray Longo said, you know, I saw what you went through yesterday. | ||
| I saw what you did yesterday. | ||
| You can do this. | ||
| They said that his cut was horrific. | ||
| But that kid is so fucking tough. | ||
| He just did it, and he went out there, and he grinded on Maya, and he won a decision. | ||
| But you could tell by the end of the first round, he was dead. | ||
| He was dead walking. | ||
| And Maya, luckily for him, was dead too. | ||
| Maya looked like really, like, I heard he had a flu or something like earlier in the week. | ||
| He did not look good either. | ||
| So both guys, it was a real endurance issue. | ||
| You know, like I was talking to Jeremy Piven and Jeremy Piven was like laughing about it. | ||
| You know, 'cause I didn't interview them. | ||
| And he's like, would you have said to them, so it's safe to say endurance was an issue in this fight? | ||
| 'Cause it really was like, it was kind of, you know, it wasn't the best fight to showcase MMA, you know? | ||
| But it was just a circumstantial situation. | ||
| There's nothing you could do about it. | ||
| You got one guy who's a fucking stud wrestler with all this goddamn potential. | ||
| That Chris Weidman could be the king of the world someday. | ||
| He could be the John Jones of 185 pounds. | ||
| He's a beast. | ||
| He's a wicked wrestler. | ||
| He puts guys to sleep. | ||
| He put Tom Lawler to sleep with that fucking darts choke. | ||
| He's nasty, man. | ||
| He's strong as fuck. | ||
| I saw him fight Galvao in Abu Dhabi. | ||
| He avoided everything. | ||
| And he got Galvao in a fucking darts and didn't tap him. | ||
| But the fact that he was able to sink it in and lock it up and had Galvao fighting to get his legs under him and to defend, pretty fucking impressive for a dude as a wrestler. | ||
| I mean, I don't know what his... | ||
| I don't know what the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu rank is, but he's one of those kids that, you know, he's really fucking strong-willed, really smart, and he's just a winner. | ||
| There's some dudes that are just winners, man. | ||
| They could have a torn meniscus, they could have a fucking herniated disc, they take you down anyway. | ||
| They take you down anyway, and they still strangle you while they're in pain. | ||
| There's dudes that can just force through shit like that, and Weidman's one of those, man. | ||
| He's a fucking animal. | ||
| And then Damien Maia, you know what I think about Maia, man? | ||
| He's in limbo right now. | ||
| Because Maia, at one point in time, was just taking everybody down and strangling them. | ||
| He was all jiu-jitsu. | ||
| And that's when everybody loved him. | ||
| He was nasty. | ||
| But somewhere along the line, he figured, you know what? | ||
| These Nate Marquarts, these guys I can't take down, they beat the fuck out of me standing. | ||
| I gotta get my stand-up better. | ||
| But in doing that, his jiu-jitsu is just not the same. | ||
| It's not what it used to be. | ||
| You know, he submitted Chael Sonnen, he submitted Ed Herman, he submitted all these guys. | ||
| He was strangling people, man. | ||
| And it was nasty. | ||
| When he got you on the ground, you were a fucksville. | ||
| And he pulled guard on those guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He just uses the pole guard now. | ||
| Cheo Sonneny hit him with a fucking lateral drop. | ||
| You remember? | ||
| I mean, he was nasty! | ||
| But his stand-up is not good. | ||
| He's mechanical. | ||
| Like, he moves like the whitest guy on earth. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, if you look at the way he moves around, he's got like this. | ||
| And he does the same thing over and over again. | ||
| He paws with the right and then throws the left. | ||
| Paws with the right and then throws the left. | ||
| It's way too predictable. | ||
| That guy needs to, if he really wants to work on a stand-up, he needs to go to Holland and just hang out with Tyrone Spong for a year. | ||
| Just do what that guy does. | ||
| Move the way that guy does. | ||
| Go train with Gokhan Saki. | ||
| Go to Mike's gym and work out with Melvin Manhoof. | ||
| See the way those guys move? | ||
| You've got to move like that. | ||
| Imitate them. | ||
| Move the way they're moving. | ||
| Do those kind of combinations. | ||
| Maybe your body doesn't exactly move the way that body moves, but try to emulate it. | ||
| The best strikers all have a particular style. | ||
| Like, especially kickboxers, they all have a particular style. | ||
| You watch Manhood fight, he moves and he throws feints, he throws feints, boom, and he throws kicks. | ||
| He's got a very particular way of moving. | ||
| And the way of moving is the way of an elite striker. | ||
| You know a dude, like when you see a... | ||
| What's that dude's name? | ||
| Chael Sanderson. | ||
| You ever see that dude wrestle? | ||
| When that dude gets low and he moves on dudes, there's guys that you look at them. | ||
| You look at the move around on the mat, you go, that's a fucking killer. | ||
| You know, like Mark Schultz back in the day? | ||
| You would look at Mark Schultz move around and you're like, that is a killer. | ||
| There's a certain way that guy moves. | ||
| You're like, that's an elite wrestler, no doubt about it. | ||
| There's a way he hits those takedowns. | ||
| It's elite. | ||
| You've got to imitate those guys. | ||
| If you want to be a real striker, you've got to figure out what those guys are doing in. | ||
| Figure out that style and then do it. | ||
| Apply it to MMA. But you've got to imitate the way they move. | ||
| And right now, Damien Maia does not move the way those elite strikers move. | ||
| He's so good at jiu-jitsu. | ||
| I know that he could be good at everything else. | ||
| But it's a leap. | ||
| And at 32 years of age, it's tricky. | ||
| Is that what he is? | ||
| About 32? | ||
| I'm not sure how old he is. | ||
| But I really think that... | ||
| That him eliminating the pulling guard strategy has really hindered his game. | ||
| I mean, there's only three things you can do in a fight. | ||
| You can fight standing with a dude, you can try to take the guy down, or you can pull guard. | ||
| That's all you can do. | ||
| And Damian Maia always had that third option. | ||
| Most MMA fighters, most UFC fighters, aren't good at that third option. | ||
| Their guard isn't dangerous enough to pull and attack. | ||
| Look at Paul Harris. | ||
| Paul Harris, that he... | ||
| Who was the guy he beat? | ||
| Did he put her in a leg lock? | ||
| Oh, Massenzio. | ||
| Yeah, that guy. | ||
| That guy could have been an Olympic wrestler and a K-1 champion. | ||
| And it didn't matter to Paul Harris. | ||
| He took that out of the equation. | ||
| He took a little shot and he pulled guard and went right after his legs. | ||
| He bypassed the superior wrestling. | ||
| He bypassed the superior striking. | ||
| He had the third option. | ||
| Most fighters don't have that third option. | ||
| Damian Maia was one of the few that did have the third option. | ||
| If he was having trouble on his feet... | ||
| And he couldn't take the guy down, which comes up all the time. | ||
| Having trouble on your feet, can't take the dude down. | ||
| If you don't have that third option, you're going to just stand up and either lose a decision or get knocked out, and that's it. | ||
| I would love to see Paul Harris and Damian Maia. | ||
| And remember, at the height of Damian Maia, he was pulling guard. | ||
| He was taking shots. | ||
| If he didn't take them down, he would pull guard. | ||
| He would sweep them, get on top, and attack. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's not doing that no more. | ||
| He decided. | ||
| Someone convinced him that just be a striker. | ||
| Just stand up. | ||
| Try to take a guy down. | ||
| There's so many guys out there that he's not going to be able to take down. | ||
| And there's so many guys that he's not going to be able to strike with. | ||
| Like Weidman. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| He was tired. | ||
| Both guys weren't in the best shape for that fight. | ||
| They both obviously had some sort of physical issue. | ||
| But if he didn't, if Weidman was at his best, it's a terrible fight for him. | ||
| It's a terrible fight. | ||
| He's not going to take that guy down. | ||
| But if he would have been the old Damien Maia where he would have taken a shot, he would have sprawled, he would have pulled guard. | ||
| His guard is dangerous enough in submissions and sweeps where he could have did something to Weidman, but he took that out of the equation and then he decided to kickbox with him. | ||
| And now all those years of jujitsu, he's so good at jujitsu, it's not even in the game. | ||
| It's a kickboxing match. | ||
| Why would you do that? | ||
| If you can't take the guy down... | ||
| Drag him down. | ||
| Otherwise, you have to kickbox, and Maia's not a kickboxer. | ||
| Yeah, it's so stupid. | ||
| Look at Paul Harris. | ||
| Look at Paul Harris. | ||
| What he did, he took a lazy shot. | ||
| The guy sprawled. | ||
| He sprawled right into guard. | ||
| Went right to a leg lock. | ||
| The fight was over and done. | ||
| Those leg locks are ridiculous, dude. | ||
| His legs are ridiculous. | ||
| I was watching him move around. | ||
| I was like, this dude has grapefruit stuffed into his calves. | ||
| There's no way his calves really look like that. | ||
| Nobody's built like Paul Harris. | ||
| People should watch that fight, Paul Harris' last fight, and look at that as a serious way out of a fight that you're having trouble in. | ||
| If you're in a fight and you're beating him standing, fuck it. | ||
| Stay standing. | ||
| You got this motherfucker. | ||
| Don't take him down. | ||
| If you can take him down... | ||
| It's pretty easy to take him down. | ||
| Take him down. | ||
| Get on top. | ||
| But if you can't strike with him and you can't take him down, which comes up in so many fights, it's so common, you got to have your guard dangerous enough so that you can pull guard, either with leg locks, you know, whatever. | ||
| Look what Paul Harz did. | ||
| Look at early Maya. | ||
| Yeah, he's got to figure it out, but too bad. | ||
| His jiu-jitsu is awesome. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| The old days, watching him is awesome. | ||
| He's definitely got to figure it out, though. | ||
| It's a fucking crazy game, man, that fight game. | ||
| It's a ridiculous game. | ||
| Ridiculous way to make a living, man. | ||
| We want to talk about the craziest, most dangerous way outside of war to make a living. | ||
| That's it, right? | ||
| Can you imagine getting punched in the face every day in training? | ||
| Yeah, I can. | ||
| Can you fucking imagine that shit? | ||
| I can, for sure. | ||
| Every fucking day. | ||
| Ten fucking years. | ||
| I remember when I first... | ||
| The thing that really got me thinking about what kind of damage striking does to your head was when I started transitioning from Taekwondo to kickboxing, man. | ||
| Because I was a novice. | ||
| My striking was not very good. | ||
| My hands were not good. | ||
| I could punch hard, but I didn't really know how to box yet. | ||
| And I would go in there with guys who did know how to box. | ||
| And even if they weren't punching you hard, they were hitting you a lot. | ||
| And you just go home and you're fucking... | ||
| I would lie in bed and my head would throb. | ||
| And it's that terrible feeling. | ||
| I'm like, what am I doing in my brain? | ||
| You know, this can't be good. | ||
| Lying in bed with headaches after a sparring session, that shit can't be good. | ||
| And you'd go everywhere, the light would hurt. | ||
| Like, and I'd wear sunglasses because the light would, like, hurt when your head is pounding from getting punched in the head. | ||
| Shit is so bad for you. | ||
| That's why jujitsu is so beautiful. | ||
| You get the thrill of the kill, yet there's no brain damage. | ||
| Except, you know, the guy who scares everybody the most is Paul Harris. | ||
| Because everybody else just kind of taps you out. | ||
| Paul Harris rips your legs apart. | ||
| He rips dude's legs apart. | ||
| I mean, he just gets a hold of your leg and like, sorry, you ain't walking right anymore. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Your leg's fucked for like a year. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good luck. | |
| He might be the first guy to leg lock his way to the top. | ||
| Because if he just keeps doing what he's doing... | ||
| What is he doing? | ||
| He's not really striking too much with dudes. | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| He's just gonna shoot and you're gonna sprawl because his shot wasn't that good. | ||
| He's not a wrestler. | ||
| And then he's gonna pull guard right into your legs. | ||
| So what are you gonna do against that? | ||
| You can work on your takedown defense all fucking day till your head explodes. | ||
| He's gonna pull guard on you. | ||
| He's taking all your wrestling and just throwing it out in fucking garbage. | ||
| All your striking, you're wasting your motherfucking time. | ||
| He's just gonna take a shot and pull guard. | ||
| He's a beast. | ||
| It's an amazing talent and skill to work on and not, I don't think, that many fighters, well, I know not that many fighters are working on it and more should. | ||
| They should really explore. | ||
| How much did you love Chicago this week? | ||
| Did you have a great fucking time? | ||
| My head's still fucking spinning. | ||
| God damn, we had fun, right? | ||
| That fucking stage, man, it was overwhelming. | ||
| That was one of the best shows we've ever done. | ||
| I think it was the best show we ever did. | ||
| You know, when I walked on stage, I had a stutter step for a second. | ||
| Like the weed and the fucking stage hit me all at one shot. | ||
| I couldn't digest it. | ||
| My brain, it was like I had a little bit of concussion for the first three minutes. | ||
| It was very surreal. | ||
| And then once I got my timing going, it was all over. | ||
| But it was very surreal at first. | ||
| I couldn't absorb it. | ||
| I'm used to doing a theater with a bottom and a top. | ||
| Not a bottom, a top and another top on top of that and another top on top of that. | ||
| Filled to the brim and the people are fucking yelling. | ||
| They know who the fuck you are. | ||
| The energy level, you know, little Esther's parents, just everything about the show. | ||
| It was nuts. | ||
| The line afterward. | ||
| I heard little Esther's parents didn't want her to take her to the UFC. They didn't want to take her. | ||
| They just didn't want to drive. | ||
| She lives about 40 minutes outside of where the UFC was. | ||
| They didn't want to drive and go through the traffic, and the traffic was nuts. | ||
| Were they nice parents? | ||
| Yeah, they were nice. | ||
| Nice people. | ||
| I mean, nice to us. | ||
| I don't know what they did to her to make her Little Lester. | ||
| Great limo driver, Damien, fucking great guy. | ||
| Dan, Dan. | ||
| Yeah, he's awesome. | ||
| Yeah, she was, she fucking killed, dude. | ||
| Did she? | ||
| Esther killed, and she went on after Joey. | ||
| Joey lit the place on fire, and then Little Lester goes up, and I mean, she had a fucking killer set, dude. | ||
| She's got some great jokes. | ||
| She's... | ||
| I really... | ||
| I mean, I said this to her parents, and I'm not bullshitting. | ||
| I go, she's way funnier than I was at her age. | ||
| She's way better than I was at her age. | ||
| She's gonna be a killer, man. | ||
| You know, she's right now... | ||
| What is she, 23 or something like that? | ||
| How old is she? | ||
| Yeah, 23. 23? | ||
| She's a little kid. | ||
| I was blown away. | ||
| The night was great. | ||
| The fans were great. | ||
| The people I talked to were great. | ||
| But my night was made... | ||
| With little Esther. | ||
| Her parents were there. | ||
| I don't have parents. | ||
| How great is that for your parents to come see you in a theater? | ||
| And not just your parents seeing you. | ||
| Anybody can see you when you're on HBO and you got your hour. | ||
| I'm talking about the night that it hit you. | ||
| It hit their parents finally what their daughter was really doing. | ||
| You know, you come home as a kid and you're like, Dad, I want to fucking jump off planes. | ||
| What? | ||
| You're going to come work in the factory with me? | ||
| That's it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Nobody in this family ever jumped off the fucking planes? | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| You're going to die. | ||
| And for two years, that's all you get is torture. | ||
| And then finally, something. | ||
| You know, and every family has it. | ||
| I'm not going to come see you. | ||
| You know, your father's not going to come see you. | ||
| He doesn't approve of you boxing. | ||
| And all of a sudden, one night, your father does come. | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| She just wasn't with Janine Garofalo and a bunch of girls. | ||
| She was with Killers. | ||
| She was with Marines from the Comedy Store Boot Camp Training. | ||
| They went to Camp Pendleton. | ||
| I followed Paul Mooney. | ||
| She was there. | ||
| So I seen her growth right there. | ||
| When she got off stage, her little face. | ||
| I had tears in my eyes, dog. | ||
| I was so excited for her because you can't describe that. | ||
| Her parents were there, bro. | ||
| Yeah, it was incredible. | ||
| It was the best show we ever did, for sure. | ||
| The biggest show we ever did, too. | ||
| I've never sold out that many people. | ||
| We sold out that whole place. | ||
| It was like 3,300 seats or something like that. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| It was nuts. | ||
| That's nice, man. | ||
| 3,300 is giant, right? | ||
| It's giant. | ||
| I got videos of it. | ||
| I've got videos of it. | ||
| It's got to be a record, right? | ||
| You saw another guy that had a Death Squad tattoo also. | ||
| Yeah, another guy who had a Death Squad tattoo. | ||
| Death Squad tattoos, Joey Diaz shirts. | ||
| I mean, it was just fucking overwhelming. | ||
| Hey, Brian, I'm going to email you this. | ||
| You can put this on the thing. | ||
| It was very, it was very just inspired. | ||
| Just the fucking, I had a hot beef Italian sausage combo sandwich that I almost stayed there. | ||
| I almost fucking moved there, Red Band, with hot and sour peppers, hot and sweet peppers from Mr. Beef. | ||
| I mean, this shit was fucking delicious. | ||
| The restaurant I went to the first night was delicious. | ||
| The fucking Fogo, the second night we went to that steakhouse, the third night. | ||
| It was just fucking, my asshole on Sunday smelled like I had firecrackers in there. | ||
| Like I had gunpowder in my shit. | ||
| They put heavy duty meat They put heavy-duty gunpowder in the meat in Chicago. | ||
| That cattle is the real fucking deal. | ||
| They got Decker in it. | ||
| My asshole, I had to light candles in the fucking hotel. | ||
| It was horrid. | ||
| Joey and I, we were staying in a corner of the hotel. | ||
| We had a door that would go into this area, and then he had a door, and I had a door. | ||
| We had two doors. | ||
| It was our door to get into our little area, and then we each had an individual door. | ||
| I would open up my door. | ||
| Chicago, by the way, is fucking 30 degrees outside. | ||
| He's got his windows open and you hear the wind whistling in like a haunted house. | ||
| So I would open up the door and literally it would sound like there was a fucking hurricane going on in the next room. | ||
| And do you know I was still sweating at night? | ||
| You gotta go to a doctor, son. | ||
| I was still sweating in the bottle. | ||
| That shit ain't good. | ||
| Listen, Doug, I walked into the doctor's office yesterday for my pre-op. | ||
| I walked in there at a quarter to nine. | ||
| I hadn't smoked reefer. | ||
| Didn't smoke reefer the night before. | ||
| Had ten hours of sleep. | ||
| Drank water. | ||
| I was relaxed. | ||
| You know what my blood pressure was at 845 in the morning? | ||
| What? | ||
| 185 over 100. Is that good? | ||
| No! | ||
| That's horrible. | ||
| That's fucking murder. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Then after they took the blood out, it went down to like 140 over 90. And that's okay, but it's still not fucking acceptable. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| My engine runs hot all the fucking time. | ||
| I take the medication. | ||
| I take the... | ||
| Well, you lost a shitload of weight at one point in time. | ||
| Don't matter. | ||
| How much did you put back on? | ||
| 20. That's it? | ||
| That's it. | ||
| I'm 295. I was even in shock yesterday. | ||
| I was even in shock yesterday. | ||
| But some of the weight I put back, I lifted, I replaced some. | ||
| My legs are strong again. | ||
| I mean, I'm trying to fucking really do this. | ||
| I really want to get in shape. | ||
| You could be an in-shape fat dude. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It can't be hanging over in your titties and shit like that. | ||
| But you could try to... | ||
| That's why I told the doctor yesterday. | ||
| He goes, you know, one thing about you is I know you really try. | ||
| I really fucking try at this. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I take my pills. | ||
| I drink a lot of water. | ||
| I really fucking try at this. | ||
| So the fucking diet... | ||
| Let me tell you something. | ||
| I count my points. | ||
| I still write the points down. | ||
| But if I'm in Chicago with Joe Rogan, hey, you're not going to go to Fogo the Child. | ||
| Wait, watch this because I suck my dick. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You know what? | ||
| We're not having the desserts no more. | ||
| We had no dessert all weekend. | ||
| We always had a fucking salad. | ||
| We always eat salad, mixed greens. | ||
| You're trying the best that you fucking can. | ||
| For breakfast, I eat fucking oatmeal. | ||
| I'm real careful about not eating too much before a show, but we had like two hours. | ||
| Yeah, we had two hours. | ||
| That's what fucking fucks with me. | ||
| They won't put me on the anivar for my knee. | ||
| Because my blood pressure. | ||
| There's no fucking way. | ||
| I knew that from the jump. | ||
| You don't need to be no fucking genius. | ||
| Yeah, you need to get yourself in a little bit better shape, huh? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| I just gotta figure something out for the blood pressure. | ||
| I either gotta fucking... | ||
| Go on a straight vegetable diet. | ||
| No! | ||
| You pushing a vegetarian on me? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
| That's the best way to trim your body down. | ||
| Lose body fat. | ||
| What's the biggest you've been? | ||
| 415. Jesus Christ. | ||
| You were 100 pounds plus more than you were. | ||
| Was that when you did the intro? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because you look like a different person. | ||
| How do you know? | ||
| I probably gained 20 pounds after that. | ||
| When you're that big, how do you know? | ||
| Because you go to a regular scale. | ||
| How do you know? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I stopped looking at it. | ||
| And I would go to gyms. | ||
| And I would put it all the way to 350. And it would just go kink! | ||
| So after a while, I would measure it by the kink, how fast it went, kink! | ||
| That's how you measure it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's about 420. No, I didn't know. | |
| Trust me, dog. | ||
| I always kept thinking 380, 390, and then I went to a fucking heart doctor, and they got the meat scale. | ||
| Over on Century City. | ||
| They got a meat scale. | ||
| They got the fucking meat scale. | ||
| They got the thing where they give you the pre-heart attack. | ||
| Where they shoot the speeding. | ||
| You get on the fucking bicycle. | ||
| And start running and shit. | ||
| And that day I was 4 fucking 15. Oh my god. | ||
| So that's the biggest he ever won. | ||
| That was November. | ||
| Of 2009 or something? | ||
| And then he goes, come back in January and we either put you on a diet that fucking, you know, the lap band, whatever. | ||
| And I was, you know, I'm scared of needles. | ||
| That's a couple times you gotta go see that motherfucker. | ||
| It's not just a scared of needle thing. | ||
| The people break those things. | ||
| How many times has Ralphie had that operation? | ||
| Ralphie had the other, yeah, the other one, the bypass. | ||
| Yeah, but he broke it though, right? | ||
| He busted. | ||
| The needle snapped. | ||
| Well, he made a smaller stomach. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha! | |
| They made him a smaller stomach, and then he broke through it somehow or another. | ||
| Right, something weird happened. | ||
| He overstuffed himself. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Didn't you have him on your podcast recently? | ||
| Yes, he was very good. | ||
| Talk about how he almost died? | ||
| Yeah, he was very good, man. | ||
| Yeah, what did he say? | ||
| It was just one of those fucking things. | ||
| He was burnt out. | ||
| Do you look at a guy like that and go, as long as this bitch is alive, I'm okay. | ||
| That's your canary bird? | ||
| No. | ||
| Is he your canary in a coal mine? | ||
| You know what, man? | ||
| I know how hard it is for him to travel. | ||
| I know what it was like to get on a plane when you're 415 pounds. | ||
| And the seatbelt don't even fit in fucking first class, okay? | ||
| I know what it's like, how to walk out, how your joints hurt. | ||
| That's why I love these personal trainers that, you know, I go to North Hollywood Park and I got a guy 400 pounds walking around the park. | ||
| It's not going to work, my friend. | ||
| It's going to last three weeks and he's going to tap out the joint pain. | ||
| Is unbearable. | ||
| Put him in a fucking pool and make him eat vegetables and shit like that, you know? | ||
| And I know what it's like to sleep. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| A joint pain? | ||
| That's the real issue with being that heavy. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| And every time you fucking fly, your ankles swell up. | ||
| And he's flying two, eight times a fucking week. | ||
| You know, Ralphie? | ||
| He's constantly flying, right? | ||
| Constantly flying. | ||
| Is he on the road every week? | ||
| He's on the road already. | ||
| How bad is it? | ||
| He's on the road already? | ||
| He's in Tempe for Super Bowl weekend. | ||
| Eight fucking shows, the whole fucking kid. | ||
| So he stopped smoking weed? | ||
| He stopped smoking weed. | ||
| Is he eating it? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No weed? | |
| He can't do nothing. | ||
| Oh, that's so sad. | ||
| Wait, he stopped because of what? | ||
| He had like blood clots in his lung or something like that. | ||
| How would weed hurt that? | ||
| It affected his lungs. | ||
| We did? | ||
| All the smoke in it? | ||
| The smoke in it and the fucking flying and the fucking, you know, not breathing. | ||
| It adds up after a while. | ||
| I would think it would make all that traveling fun. | ||
| You know, they do all these tests on marijuana. | ||
| They do tests on a guy like Eddie Bravo, who's a normal weight yourself. | ||
| When you add 400 pounds, it's got to do something to your fucking lungs. | ||
| When your lungs are this big and you're trying to... | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| Brian. | ||
| That's what's going on. | ||
| The show is going too well. | ||
| I found treasure. | ||
| It affects you at every level, man. | ||
| The reefer is just something that they told him to stop smoking as a precautionary measure. | ||
| Well, I think smoking anything is probably not so fucking good for your body. | ||
| There's no evidence that it causes cancer. | ||
| It's very different from tobacco smoke. | ||
| We have smoke all put in the same category, but it's not. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| But, there's other options. | ||
| It's gotta do something to you to pot smoke. | ||
| I've been smoking weed for 30 years. | ||
| I've coughed, I've spit fucking colors, fucking smurfs, the whole thing. | ||
| Something's got to be going on when you're alone. | ||
| You know, these people sit there and say, well, Harvard did a research. | ||
| Yeah, that's great. | ||
| It's got to do something to you. | ||
| Nothing is fucking free. | ||
| You got to pay somewhere along the fucking line. | ||
| So knock the fuck off reading high time, some scientist with a beard with sandals on. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| I'm telling you that somewhere along the line, smoking for fucking 30 years, I've been smoking weed for fucking 30 years. | ||
| And I'll tell you what, I know for a fact, I got that C-O-P-D. I know for a fact, I got it. | ||
| O-C-D? No, P-O-C-D. What's P-O-C-D? That shit with your lungs, when you hear little bells and whistles in your lungs. | ||
| So what I do, you know, when you breathe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Right now, you're talking about M-E-T-H? You ever hear me breathing on the fucking, you ever hear me breathe, hey, hey, hey, stupid little. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You ever hear me breathing on the microphone? | ||
| You ever do anything fucking stupid? | ||
| You ever do a thing on the microphone and you go, Joe, I hear you breathing? | ||
| Do you hear you breathing? | ||
| Do you hear Eddie breathing? | ||
| That's COPD or something. | ||
| So what I usually do is, look at the fuck up. | ||
| Don't look at him with that fucking look. | ||
| Well, if I knew the exact acronym. | ||
| Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Remember I used to take the steroid that I used to breathe in, and it gives you fucking, like, you eat... | ||
| Oh, that, like, Avodar? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And then remember I said that the one doctor said I might have asthma? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| So what I used to do is whenever I'd hear the bells and whistles, you just go run around three laps. | ||
| Poof. | ||
| Cleans it out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| I've been doing that for years. | ||
| Whenever I hear a bell and whistle, that means you ain't walking enough, cocksucker. | ||
| Get on the bell. | ||
| Blow the whistle. | ||
| Did you see that thing that Brian's got? | ||
| You've seen that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Whatever. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| But you just got to get out and walk. | ||
| Forget computers and all that shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're right. | |
| You're right. | ||
| But the beautiful thing about that is it tells you exactly what you're doing. | ||
| You can't bullshit yourself. | ||
| It tells you how much sleep you're doing. | ||
| And if you think you need it and you don't have any money, just write on a piece of paper your lazy fucking put in your pocket. | ||
| That's what I've realized that what I do. | ||
| I look at it and I'm like, oh shit, I'm lazy. | ||
| I know this already. | ||
| I could have saved myself $100. | ||
| And so it's not changing your habits at all? | ||
| No, I can see myself trying to beat my score before. | ||
| I can kind of see that. | ||
| But unfortunately, I just have this lifestyle that I'm so fucking busy that the only way that I can change that is just to make sure I work out every day. | ||
| Where this is more like for people that I guess have time. | ||
| More time to try to jog more. | ||
| Brian is totally doing a totally different approach to what we're doing. | ||
| Brian is working out solely so that he can get more pussy. | ||
| That's fine. | ||
| That's his issue. | ||
| That's why 60% of people take fucking steroids that aren't athletic. | ||
| How many times you go to a bar and there's 18 guys looking around, you think they're going for Mr. Olympia, and you're like, where do you live, Glendale? | ||
| So what's all these weights for? | ||
| For what? | ||
| To do what? | ||
| To be a bartender for 100 a night at the fucking local club? | ||
| Ah, to pick up pussy. | ||
| That's a lot of it. | ||
| Do you do steroids? | ||
| Not really. | ||
| No, you just look like a fucking tree trunk. | ||
| You know, but you don't do steroids. | ||
| Okay, you're like the Barbarian Brothers. | ||
| I ate 36 eggs for the last three years every fucking day. | ||
| Well, Brian is just doing it to keep up. | ||
| He's got a freak on the line. | ||
| That's what he's got to do. | ||
| I need a couple more power bars. | ||
| Listen, most people don't get fucking serious until they get rushed to the hospital. | ||
| This obesity fucking epidemic in this country is until you get rushed to the fucking hospital with a tube coming out of your ass. | ||
| Then you'll be at the gym doing jumping jacks, bro. | ||
| Or you're going to fucking die. | ||
| When did it affect you? | ||
| When did you really start thinking, I got to do something? | ||
| When my fucking spine was hurting when I do blow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| Whoa! | ||
| The back of my neck was fucking going... | ||
| When I would do blow, when I would have to wear underwear to go to the gym because I would piss my pants because I couldn't catch my breath when I was throwing punches with McAfoli. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| That's when I fucking realized it. | ||
| And I knew that I wasn't going to get the operation. | ||
| That was not going to fucking work at all. | ||
| So I knew that I had to just eat right. | ||
| You just can't deal with the idea of it. | ||
| You were also talking about it like it was a weak thing to do. | ||
| What? | ||
| Working out? | ||
| The operation. | ||
| No, yeah! | ||
| Because people think in this country everything... | ||
| Bro, look at our fucking kids we got now. | ||
| A kid has a fucking bad day, they put him on a fucking pill. | ||
| And then when they get old and the computer crashes, now I gotta put them on another, they have a nervous breakdown. | ||
| You go to Little League and fucking Sherman Oaks. | ||
| You know, you can't yell at the kids to strike or you suck or swing. | ||
| These kids are fucking pampered. | ||
| That's why half of them are on fucking pills, guy. | ||
| So what you're trying to tell me is I could go to Burger King every night and eat like a fat fucking slob until I'm 35 and call Mr. Latband and get my shit together? | ||
| And that's what you're telling this country? | ||
| So half of these motherfuckers aren't going for the right thing. | ||
| When you're 400 pounds, you're not sick. | ||
| It's your character. | ||
| Something's fucking not right. | ||
| Something's not right. | ||
| So if you get up and walk to the corner every fucking day, eventually you're going to get bored walking to the corner, so you're going to walk another corner. | ||
| Then you're going to walk another corner, and next morning you're going to walk to the YMCA like I did, and you're going to get on the bicycle for five minutes. | ||
| Then it's ten minutes, and it all fucking helps out. | ||
| See, in my world, when you're a comic, you think that you only come home Mondays and Tuesdays. | ||
| So if I work out Mondays and Tuesdays, Eddie, what's that going to do for me? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Not true. | ||
| Even two days a week fucking helps. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| That's the mentality I took. | ||
| I'm like, you know what? | ||
| I'll fucking snort blow. | ||
| And the sick thing was I always kind of worked out. | ||
| I always lift the weights. | ||
| I always did fucking something. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| That's why when I got sick, it bothered me. | ||
| But I felt like I was too much behind the eight ball. | ||
| So you're about to get knee surgery. | ||
| Fuck yeah! | ||
| And I'm ready. | ||
| I fainted yesterday on the way up from the fucking... | ||
| You don't even feel... | ||
| Let me tell you something. | ||
| It's 2012. These new vampires, you don't even feel the fucking needles. | ||
| They could fuck you in the ass 80 times and you won't even know it no more. | ||
| Listen, I put Santana on my iPod and I looked the other way. | ||
| And two minutes later, the bitch bent my fucking arm up. | ||
| I didn't feel the fucking needle. | ||
| I didn't feel the fucking needle. | ||
| So they let you put an iPod on? | ||
| I do it all the time. | ||
| When I go to the dentist, I put something on. | ||
| Why sit there and look at Bela Lugosi? | ||
| Every fucking dentist looks like Bela Lugosi to me when they're looking in your fucking mouth. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You don't feel rude, but just tuning out? | ||
| No, most dentists have TVs. | ||
| My fucking wife goes to a place that has fucking big screen TVs with headphones. | ||
| I stopped going to this one dentist because he would ask me stupid questions. | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| It was uncomfortable. | ||
| I'd have really bad conversations, clunky conversations with him. | ||
| When you got your fingers in my fucking mouth, what is there to talk about? | ||
| Listen, let's understand each other. | ||
| I'm going to lay back and open my mouth. | ||
| Tap me when I'm fucking done and I'll tap you if it hurts. | ||
| Because that's what they say. | ||
| Tap when you feel the drill or something. | ||
| You put the fucking iPod on, you close your eyes. | ||
| You're not in there. | ||
| Eddie Bravo, what's happening, cocksucker? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's up? | |
| You're a month away from having a kid. | ||
| You're sitting there like fucking Buddha with no fucking food. | ||
| Talk to me, cocksucker. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Are you ready for this, man? | ||
| Are you ready? | ||
| You gotta be fucking ready. | ||
| Don't tell me this shit. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| You gotta be ready. | ||
| Have you picked a name yet? | ||
| Don't tell me that you looked at a TV show on Discovery. | ||
| I want you to tell me you went to your uncle's house and changed some diapers. | ||
| I've been wanting to have a kid for a while. | ||
| And we tried to, you know, this was planned. | ||
| This was not an accident. | ||
| I wanted a kid. | ||
| I'm proud of you. | ||
| I'm happy. | ||
| It's going to be a fascinating experience, man. | ||
| I see what it did for you. | ||
| I see what it did for you. | ||
| You're a different fucking man. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Changed me as a human being. | ||
| First, it was the reefer. | ||
| When you came to me, you said you had the best ice cream sundae in your life the other night with Eddie Bravo. | ||
| The way you gave it to me, that was beautiful. | ||
| And then next thing you know, Mrs. Rogan came on the scene. | ||
| I've seen the whole evolution. | ||
| Dude, I will never forget the day Eddie Bravo got me high. | ||
| We went and had ice cream sundae, and I had the most massive revelation of my life. | ||
| I couldn't believe how goddamn good that ice cream sundae tasted. | ||
| I mean, for me and you, that was the first time you ever straightened up. | ||
| Before then, you were a fucking ape. | ||
| You were still bent over. | ||
| If I threw you a banana, you'd eat the fucking peel. | ||
| Seriously. | ||
| That day, after you ate that banana, Dairy Queen, you were back. | ||
| You were back. | ||
| Your chest was up and shit. | ||
| Well, you guys know me. | ||
| I don't know me as well as you guys know me. | ||
| Oh, please. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| You were walking on all floors until that fucking day. | ||
| I know I'm a different person. | ||
| I'm a lot more relaxed and everything, but it must have been interesting, much more for you to watch someone change their personality. | ||
| It's a fucking beautiful thing. | ||
| It's a fucking beautiful thing, man. | ||
| I love to see evolution. | ||
| I bet people watch it. | ||
| I love to watch people shut your fucking mouth. | ||
| Don't say nothing to him. | ||
| Let him walk into that hole. | ||
| I think coming from my background, doing martial arts competitions my whole life and then just transitioning right into comedy, I had never relaxed. | ||
| I never settled down. | ||
| I never learned how to just be calm. | ||
| My whole body, my brain, my personality all developed under duress. | ||
| It all developed under physical combat all the time on a regular basis. | ||
| Constant training, constant fights, constant tournaments. | ||
| That was my life from the time I was 15 till I was 22. All my formative years was all spent in stress. | ||
| And I remember when I first decided that I wasn't going to fight anymore, it was like the first time ever in my life, when I was like 22, my last kickboxing fights, the first time ever where I could relax. | ||
| I would always be nervous, like, when is the next tournament? | ||
| When's the next fight? | ||
| When's the next thing? | ||
| I gotta get in shape. | ||
| I can't be drinking this. | ||
| I can't be doing this. | ||
| Couldn't live my life because I was always worried about getting my ass kicked. | ||
| I was always worried about, like, I have to make sure that I do everything right. | ||
| I have to be prepared. | ||
| I don't want to get fucked up. | ||
| You know, so it's like, it's... | ||
| It wasn't the best mindset to go into stand-up comedy for. | ||
| That's for sure. | ||
| It's like a constant battle. | ||
| Because stand-up comedy, it's totally the opposite. | ||
| You've got to not give a fuck. | ||
| You've got to be relaxed. | ||
| You've got to have fun. | ||
| Instead of being tense and ready to go at any moment's notice. | ||
| You sent me, by the way, whatever you sent me doesn't work. | ||
| One of them doesn't work. | ||
| The other two do. | ||
| Check your emails. | ||
| Yeah, I just... | ||
| You sent me two things and both of them are like movies that are one second long. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Check it again, dude. | ||
| I know it's good. | ||
| I'll resend it, okay? | ||
| My fucking 15 to 22, my mind wasn't fighting. | ||
| I wasn't a fighter, but I was in a different type of hell. | ||
| I was in my own hell that I was putting myself into, you know? | ||
| And it's so weird that I became a comic, what, six, seven, eight years later or something like that, and how... | ||
| I took that wildness into the fucking comic and nobody understood what I was saying until I met you guys at the store. | ||
| I found the fucking home. | ||
| I used to travel on the road with Tribble and do all these little road things. | ||
| I remember when I first met you at the store, everybody was fucking terrified of you. | ||
| Yeah, I was crazy. | ||
| You and I, I remember being like the only guy, like when I first met you, that was like, he's great. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| And I was like, oh, here comes Joey Diaz. | ||
| Like, where's he at? | ||
| I like would gravitate towards you. | ||
| Oh, I was crazy. | ||
| Because you didn't scare me. | ||
| You were nice to me. | ||
| You know, you weren't a scary guy to me. | ||
| You were a regular dude. | ||
| You were like one of the only guys there that I could relate to. | ||
| There was like a lot of guys that I couldn't relate to. | ||
| I knew dudes like you. | ||
| You know, I mean, not you, but you and my friend Johnny B, the pool hustler, very similar characters, man. | ||
| Very, very similar characters. | ||
| You're both way out there. | ||
| You're both, like, not give a fuck guys, and you're both guys that were, like, polarizing. | ||
| Some people would love you to death, and then everybody, you know, there was a large group of people that, for whatever reason, they'd be upset at you. | ||
| Like, I remember having to defend you, even the Dom Herrera. | ||
| Even Dom Herrera was hating on you for a while. | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| And I loved it. | ||
| I fucking loved it. | ||
| Because that's why, you know, it's so weird that this whole surgery thing really taught me about fear. | ||
| My fear has fucking done wonders for me. | ||
| Because that's why when I wake up in the morning, that's the first thing I fucking do is grab my fucking cock. | ||
| Because for years I was scared. | ||
| I'm always insecure. | ||
| That immigrant fucking thing shizzled into my fucking mind since the streets of New York City with the white kid. | ||
| The immigrant thing? | ||
| The immigrant thing, not knowing the language, not feeling good enough like everybody else, not being a fucking American. | ||
| And it sits inside my fucking soul. | ||
| So, for me, everything has been rivered on fear. | ||
| Every time I get on stage, like the other night, fear was real in Chicago. | ||
| I got on stage in between the reefer and whatever was going on and the lights. | ||
| I got fearful, man. | ||
| But you know what? | ||
| That's normal to be scared. | ||
| That's a great emotion, especially when you're a stand-up comic. | ||
| Because the more scared you are, the better you're gonna fucking do. | ||
| Especially in my case. | ||
| The more riled up I am, two minutes before I go on stage, the more energy I'm gonna give that fucking audience. | ||
| But I've looked at my life and I've seen how much fear. | ||
| I was petrified to go get that fucking needle. | ||
| Even though I fucking knew nothing was gonna happen, I was gonna walk out of there. | ||
| But I went in, I took the needle, and after I walked out of that needle, I could have fucking killed ten fucking people with my bare hands. | ||
| Because you overcome one of your biggest fucking fears. | ||
| Till this day, I get little emails and people are like, you know, I suffer from a social disorder and I don't know what to do. | ||
| Well, the answer ain't taking a fucking pill. | ||
| It's checking your fucking confidence and grabbing your balls and walking into a circle and saying, fuck it, I'm here. | ||
| You know, my mentality was always go into the mouth of the lion and put a chair down and sit the fuck down. | ||
| And let the pieces fall where they may. | ||
| And if you're not going to live like that, fuck them all. | ||
| I'm at the store two fucking nights, Joe Rogan. | ||
| The first fucking night, Eddie Griffin bumps me. | ||
| You know how embarrassing that is? | ||
| You become a regular on a Sunday, the first fucking night you bring 11 people to come see you, your landlord comes, and you get bumped by Eddie Griffin. | ||
| And the second night I go up there and Steve Greenstein says to me, hey, last weekend you fucking auditioned here for Mitzi and you said one of my jokes. | ||
| I said, it's February fucking 11th. | ||
| I just come off a plane, January 29th, and you're already accusing me of being a fucking thief. | ||
| And remember, he had his violin case. | ||
| Who? | ||
| Steve Greenstein. | ||
| I don't remember him. | ||
| He was a creepy guy, older guy that hung out at the Comedy Store, and he had a violin case. | ||
| So this is a Tuesday night. | ||
| It's Black Night at the Comedy Store. | ||
| It's 8 o'clock. | ||
| The main room is packed, but the original room would be empty because people were scared to go up there on Black Night because they thought they were going to get fucking mugged. | ||
| So the original room was always empty. | ||
| So Steve Greenstein was up before me. | ||
| This is my second night at the Comedy Store, dog. | ||
| I just got to LA. I'm a fucking criminal. | ||
| I've been in prison. | ||
| I got all these problems. | ||
| But for the first time in my life, I got a little fucking daylight at the Comedy Store. | ||
| This lady made me a regular. | ||
| All my life, people were like, has Mitchie Shaw seen you? | ||
| Has Mitchie Shaw seen you? | ||
| She's going to make you a fucking regular. | ||
| I get down there. | ||
| I'm a regular. | ||
| This is the first time since my mother died I had any luck. | ||
| I had been in prison. | ||
| I had been divorced. | ||
| You know, shot. | ||
| The whole fucking deal. | ||
| And the next thing you know, I become a regular, and it's Tuesday night, and I get off stage, and I'm waiting to hang out for a little while, and Steve Greenstein comes up to me, and he says to me, Doug, one of your jokes is like my joke. | ||
| I said, which one? | ||
| He said, something about O.J. Simpson's maid. | ||
| I go, Doug, I didn't steal the joke from you. | ||
| I just fucking got here two weeks ago. | ||
| Wheels comes out, and he goes, this guy didn't steal the joke from you. | ||
| The only problem was the guy put the violin case behind his fucking legs, and I spotted it. | ||
| So he starts threatening him. | ||
| He's like, dog, the next time you do that joke, we're going to have a problem. | ||
| I just pushed him, Joe Rogan. | ||
| He fell over the violin case. | ||
| Well, as he's falling down, Mitzi's limo pulls up. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| I'm like, I'm done. | ||
| This is my life. | ||
| I'm fucking gone out of here. | ||
| I'm never going to get another fucking spot again. | ||
| I'm going to go back to sell and fucking blow. | ||
| And Wheels got between us. | ||
| Scott Day got between us. | ||
| And Mitzi came on and go, oh, what happened here? | ||
| And he started saying, he goes, no, this kid's Cuban, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| But Mitzi seen the kid on the floor and fell in love with me after that because I pushed that motherfucker. | ||
| Because I stuck up for myself. | ||
| Yeah, you got lucky. | ||
| She was crazy. | ||
| Sure! | ||
| If that happened at the fucking Improv, I would have been out on the fucking street. | ||
| How often did you perform at the Improv? | ||
| Not for a while. | ||
| In those days? | ||
| In those days every week because the guy, Richard Cooper, loved me, the talent coordinator. | ||
| Bro, I got to LA January 29th. | ||
| I was a regular at the store February 19th on my birthday. | ||
| I didn't fuck around this time when I got here. | ||
| But you couldn't do the improv, Mitzi found out. | ||
| But I went to Scott Day and said, dog, Richard Cooper gives me spots. | ||
| So I would go over there, and I had a couple problems over there right off the fucking bat. | ||
| People thought they were cute over there. | ||
| You know, you leave your fucking girlfriend in their seat, you go to the bathroom, you come back, they're talking to them like they know them. | ||
| That is an issue. | ||
| You know, it's a fucking issue. | ||
| You got to stop them like I told you, like Hitler in Munich. | ||
| If not, you're going to have a fucking problem, dog. | ||
| So I would say things to people. | ||
| All of a sudden, you're a bad fucking person. | ||
| So what the fuck? | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| And we're here 12 years later, and we're still rocking and rolling. | ||
| They can still suck my dick and call me shorty. | ||
| We're doing a show, if you're in town, Pasadena, this Thursday night. | ||
| Don't come if you're a stalker. | ||
| Thanks. | ||
| Pasadena, Ice House, Thursday night. | ||
| What time, Brian? | ||
| It's 8.30. | ||
| Joey Diaz, Joe Rogan, Little Esther, and a bunch of other people. | ||
| And we also have a show Friday. | ||
| Go to IceHouseComedy.com for the tickets. | ||
| Oh, snap, freaks. | ||
| And Vegas, Friday night. | ||
| Eddie Bravo's coming. | ||
| He's going to play the drums and shit? | ||
| You coming Friday night? | ||
| We're looking at the flights. | ||
| We might go in a Saturday morning. | ||
| Not sure. | ||
| I'm driving next time I go to LA. I'm not driving this time. | ||
| Next time I go to LA, though, I'm driving. | ||
| Vegas. | ||
| Memorial Day weekend to see Juni Dos Santos against my man if he recovers from the surgery. | ||
| I'm tired of fucking flying, man. | ||
| One time. | ||
| Let's take the big fucking Cadillac Escalade. | ||
| Let's go out there. | ||
| I got a new one. | ||
| I got one of these new infinity things. | ||
| With the music and the whole fucking thing. | ||
| Hey, Brian, come here. | ||
| Help me export these things. | ||
| It's not exporting right. | ||
| But then they'll pull us over like Snoop Dogg, those cocksuckers. | ||
| Every time they see Snoop Dogg, he gets pulled over them. | ||
| If they smell you anywhere near them, we're going to jail. | ||
| It's right here. | ||
| Sup, EB? Oh, really? | ||
| What? | ||
| Rocker, shocker in the fucking house. | ||
| I retrieved the video. | ||
| Denny Plutupos is here. | ||
| Fresh off his fucking 19 wins this Sunday. | ||
| Yeah, Gracie Nationals was an epic day for Temple. | ||
| Where was the Gracie Nationals at? | ||
| The Gracie Nationals was... | ||
| I was in LA this past Sunday, and Rose Gracie, the granddaughter of Helio Gracie, the grandmaster of Gracie Jiu-Jitsu, she decided to go old school with the Gracie Nationals. | ||
| She's been running it for the last few years, and she, you know, the whole point system that Jiu-Jitsu tournaments are run by are just ridiculous. | ||
| I mean, it's just people are fighting for points and stalling, and it's ridiculous, and Rose Gracie decided to You know, make her the late great Helio Gracie proud and make it all just a submission-only tournament. | ||
| And these tournaments are becoming, this format is becoming more and more popular. | ||
| They do it in the Pacific Northwest at the Sub League in Oregon. | ||
| And they run smoothly. | ||
| People have been afraid of sub-only tournaments. | ||
| Tournaments because of time, you know, constraints and all that stuff. | ||
| But Rose Gracie made it work. | ||
| She had the balls to go. | ||
| No points, no advantages. | ||
| 15 minutes submission only. | ||
| If you go 15 minutes without a submission, both competitors are out of the tournament. | ||
| So that's the ballsiest format there is out there. | ||
| And now the Gracie Nationals is the most prestigious submission only tournament on the planet. | ||
| And I think That's the future for jiu-jitsu because it was a lot more fun preparing for a submission-only tournament. | ||
| All we worked on was the fun stuff, the good stuff about jiu-jitsu, the finish, the closing the deal, the working on our squeeze. | ||
| For the Nogi Worlds, We had to spend time working on stalling techniques because when you're playing a point game and it's like six-minute matches, a guy will get a point or just a little advantage, which is even less than a point. | ||
| And once they're up, an advantage they'll hold. | ||
| And they won't do anything. | ||
| And people aren't used to... | ||
| You're wrestling with guys that are just holding on to leads. | ||
| In class, you don't just hold on to a lead. | ||
| No one's counting points in class. | ||
| So you actually have to prepare for that. | ||
| You have to specifically prepare for tournaments that are run by points. | ||
| And it's just so not fun preparing stalling techniques and stalling live drills. | ||
| What if a dude just holds on and doesn't do anything? | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| So Rose Gracie decided to eliminate all of that. | ||
| And make the Gracie Nationals a submission-only tournament. | ||
| And she's also doing the Gracie Worlds. | ||
| In July, July 15th, in San Jose, you know, finally, you're gonna be able to get a world title. | ||
| In a submission-only format, which is the greatest. | ||
| It means so much more to win in a submission-only tournament than by points. | ||
| You're a world champion and you won by an advantage world champion. | ||
| Those days, it does nothing for The development of your jiu-jitsu. | ||
| It just gets you better at holding and stalling out and running out the clock. | ||
| It's just ridiculous. | ||
| So, mad huge props to Rose Gracie and her husband, Javi Vasquez, who put this tournament together and, you know, I think this is the future. | ||
| I think a submission-only format is the only way to go. | ||
| You know, we're taking bias refs completely out of the game. | ||
| The refs have nothing to do with the game. | ||
| So they have no time limits? | ||
| No, well, there's no time limit in the final. | ||
| But in the qualifying matches, it's a 15-minute time limit, which is plenty of time. | ||
| And if there is no submission in those 15 minutes, both guys are out. | ||
| So it's amazing. | ||
| We had so many. | ||
| Both guys are out. | ||
| So if two guys are just like Marcelo Garcia and Jake Shields, they stall each other out. | ||
| They're both out. | ||
| Whoa, that's crazy. | ||
| But in the finals, no time limit. | ||
| We had some epic matches. | ||
| Epic matches. | ||
| 10 Planet San Francisco went 12-1. | ||
| I had about, you know, maybe... | ||
| How many affiliates you got now? | ||
| I got over 30. I lose track. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| You started out just doing it as something to do. | ||
| You know, like, man, what should I do? | ||
| Maybe I could teach now. | ||
| And then, boom. | ||
| Now you got like an empire. | ||
| Man, it was all an accident. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Isn't it weird? | ||
| I thought that when we were working on The Man Show, we were going to parlay that into some Trey Parker, Matt Stone shit. | ||
| It was all a dream. | ||
| I used to read Word Up magazine. | ||
| Salt and pepper heavy D up in the limousine. | ||
| The next thing we're going to do is we're going to get a fucking comedy club. | ||
| I decided while I was taking a shit today, high as fuck on the toilet bowl. | ||
| That's the next move. | ||
| The next move is a reality show about... | ||
| About this fucking place. | ||
| About doing a podcast and doing a comedy club and having it all connected. | ||
| The way we do it, man, when we have this show Thursday night, we have podcasts going on at the same time as the comedy show. | ||
| And everybody just rotates in. | ||
| It's the greatest fucking thing we've ever done. | ||
| The greatest thing we've ever done. | ||
| The perfect thing. | ||
| You go on stage, man, you're already flowing. | ||
| Like, you gotta go on stage right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| Yeah, you'll be on fire. | ||
| Have you told the Lucy Snorebush story? | ||
| What is her name? | ||
| Lucy Snorebush. | ||
| If you told that Lucy Snorebush story and then went on stage right now, you would be in prime. | ||
| That is the most ridiculous fucking thing I've ever told. | ||
| It's the greatest story of all time. | ||
| People want Lucy Snorebush t-shirts. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| I broke into Lucy Snorebush's room and ate her ass in the middle of the night. | ||
| They want that t-shirt. | ||
| Oh my fucking God. | ||
| Yeah, it was ridiculous. | ||
| We've got some yells on here. | ||
| And then we got Vegas Friday fucking night? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We were in Chicago. | ||
| Like I said, this was the biggest show we had ever done. | ||
| And it was pretty crazy. | ||
| I made a video of how fucking crazy it was. | ||
| Brian, throw that shit up. | ||
| Look how big this place is. | ||
| I don't know if you can tell. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at the size of this place. | |
| Wow. | ||
| How long did you do? | ||
| An hour and 22 minutes. | ||
| We stayed outside and signed pictures for fucking hours, man. | ||
| I had to pay those security. | ||
| I had to pay like 2,000 extra dollars in security because I had to keep them around. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| Union is like laws. | ||
| They have rules. | ||
| You have to pay people. | ||
| Play the second one. | ||
| The second video is ridiculous. | ||
| We were... | ||
| This is when we were signing, and this is all just a line of people that were waiting to take pictures with Joey and Duncan and sign posters. | ||
| Mike Maxwell made a poster just for the event, and check this shit out. | ||
| This is... | ||
| Hold on one second. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| This is bonkers, man. | ||
| This is when we were in the upstairs balcony area. | ||
| This place is fucking huge, the Chicago Theater. | ||
| At one point in time, it was a silent movie house. | ||
| It was built in 1921. Sinatra performed there in 87. Little Esther's father took the mother there to see Sinatra in 87. Holy shit. | ||
| When he was forgetting his lyrics and the wig was crooked and shit. | ||
| But he was still motherfucking Sinatra, Jack. | ||
| He was still banging bitches two of the time. | ||
| Sinatra died before Viagra kicked in. | ||
| He missed the boat. | ||
| He missed the boat. | ||
| Those grumpy old men, they couldn't get any pussy anymore. | ||
| There was no reason to perform. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It was all over. | ||
| Even though he was Sinatra, he only got a hard-on like once a month at the end. | ||
| He was still getting pussy with the wig like a pimp, dog. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at this. | |
| Thanks for coming out, everybody! | ||
| Can you rotate that, Brian? | ||
| There's obviously something wrong with the iPhone, the way the iPhone interpreted it. | ||
| Can't you rotate that? | ||
| No, not on the fly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| But look how nutty that is. | ||
| You know why it does that, right, Jeff? | ||
| Because it's a piece of shit? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Before you hit record, look at the icon. | ||
| If it's tilted sideways, it's going to record it sideways. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Look how nutty that is, man. | ||
| That's just all the people waiting to get into line to take pictures and shit. | ||
| That was a fun fucking time. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| That one dirty freak that pulled her tits out and had everybody sign her tits. | ||
| Tremendous. | ||
| She had great tits. | ||
| Don't put it down. | ||
| They were nice 24-year-old firm little fucking chi-chis and shit. | ||
| She was a freak. | ||
| She had a little boyfriend that looked like fucking, what's the guy you like? | ||
| Bruno Mars. | ||
| And this freak was ready to go, Jack! | ||
| Yeah, didn't somebody throw that guy under the bus? | ||
| Who was it? | ||
| Jaden James used to date. | ||
| Is that Bruno Mars that sings that song? | ||
| Yeah, well, it's Bruno Mars and the other guy, right? | ||
| There's two guys. | ||
| Who's the other one? | ||
| I can't remember. | ||
| There's the rapper guy and then the singer guy. | ||
| Which one is which? | ||
| Great fucking tune, whoever the hell it is. | ||
| Did you hear about those English people that got arrested at the airport? | ||
| No. | ||
| You didn't hear about this shit? | ||
| Dude, it's one of the fucking weakest things I've ever heard ever about the TSA. It's sad what this country has become. | ||
| These English people, they were coming over here for a vacation, so they joked around and they said, hey... | ||
| We're going to go over to America and we're going to fucking destroy America. | ||
| We're going to dig up Marilyn Monroe's body. | ||
| I mean, it sounds like some shit that Joey Diaz would say if he was British, right? | ||
| We're going to come over here. | ||
| We're going to have a fucking party. | ||
| This is what they wrote. | ||
| I'm going to destroy America and dig up Marilyn Monroe. | ||
| That's what this dude said on his Twitter. | ||
| They came over here to party. | ||
| That's all. | ||
| TSA checked them for shovels, these dumb fucks. | ||
| They went, you're going to dig up Marilyn Monroe. | ||
| We're going to catch you. | ||
| Oh, did they tweet this or something? | ||
| Yeah, they tweeted it. | ||
| So now they're looking at our Twitter. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| They tweeted. | ||
| They're 26 years old, man. | ||
| They're kids. | ||
| They went to party, man. | ||
| Department of Homeland Security. | ||
| Way to go, you fuckheads. | ||
| These silly fucks are supposed to be protecting us. | ||
| They pulled aside this cute punk rock-looking British couple. | ||
| They look like sweethearts. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, it's just... | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| This is what the dude wrote. | ||
| Free this week for a quick gossip prep before I go and destroy America? | ||
| That's the question. | ||
| Like a joke. | ||
| He's going here to have a fucking party. | ||
| Like he's going to destroy America. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| And they checked the shovels. | ||
| They sent them back home, man. | ||
| Not only that, they arrested them, locked them up with Mexican drug dealers that they also caught for 12 fucking hours. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mexicans? | |
| Because they're immigrants. | ||
| They threw them in with the other immigrant criminals. | ||
| They threw them in with Mexican drug dealers that they busted. | ||
| So these guys were locked up with real hardcore criminals for 12 fucking hours. | ||
| And then they flew them back to Europe. | ||
| Fucking Sue. | ||
| Unbelievable. | ||
| It's unbelievable. | ||
| I mean, really? | ||
| You can't have one rational person who looks at those two and starts laughing. | ||
| Here's what he writes also. | ||
| Three weeks today, we're totally in LA pissing off people in Hollywood Boulevard and digging up Marilyn Monroe. | ||
| Ha ha. | ||
| He's joking around, man. | ||
| Really? | ||
| This is our tax dollars going to work? | ||
| This is 2012. We're not talking about 1950. We jumped into a time machine and all of a sudden they have Twitter in 1950. What? | ||
| They're going to destroy America! | ||
| We've got to act now! | ||
| I think it was just to set an example. | ||
| We're going to fuck anybody up that plays around. | ||
| I think it's a bully and an abuse of power. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| I don't think it's an example at all. | ||
| I think they knew these were kids and they could fuck with them if they wanted to. | ||
| I think they found someone to fuck with. | ||
| They found someone to fuck with and then they did. | ||
| It's really, really sad. | ||
| They came here and had fun, you fuckheads. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| They check them for fucking shovels. | ||
| They're checking Twitter for joke things that you say. | ||
| Joke tweets about coming to America and getting fucked up. | ||
| Like, do you really think that that's what a terrorist would write? | ||
| Hmm, this week, free for a quick gossip before I go destroy America. | ||
| Like, yeah, that's what you have to worry about? | ||
| That's where our tax dollars are going? | ||
| What do you think about Anonymous? | ||
| Listen, man, somebody needs to stand up for this fucking... | ||
| Anonymous is awesome. | ||
| Stand up to this wacky world that we're living in, man. | ||
| And what Anonymous represents is the internet. | ||
| What the internet represents most of the time is justice. | ||
| You know, most of what they go after, most of what they do is the right thing. | ||
| There's a lot of, like, shit that's going on, like this Dana White thing where they're hacking into his social security and putting it all online. | ||
| That's... | ||
| I heard it was fake. | ||
| Well, it was wrong. | ||
| No, it wasn't fake. | ||
| They got the information, but what they don't understand, first of all, is his dad's name, Dana White, as well. | ||
| And they got a lot of the information they got was his dad's, including liens and where his dad used to live. | ||
| And now some other guy got harassed because his information got put online. | ||
| So this guy, like Dana, had to go to this guy's house and apologize to him. | ||
| But the kid is apparently a 13-year-old kid from Australia. | ||
| He doesn't represent Anonymous. | ||
| He represents people on the internet that don't like when people on the internet challenge them. | ||
| Like you say, you can't hack me. | ||
| I dare you. | ||
| They're going to hack you. | ||
| They're going to fucking hack you. | ||
| But that's not what I like about Anonymous. | ||
| What I like is that what it represents is people feel fucking helpless. | ||
| They feel helpless to this gigantic oppressive power that is controlling the world and running things in a way that they don't like. | ||
| And when these guys go after... | ||
| Department of Homeland Security, all these different websites. | ||
| When these guys try to take things down, what they're doing is they're lashing out and they're saying, hey, we can touch you. | ||
| We can reach you. | ||
| We can find your information. | ||
| Like when they went after that guy that pepper sprayed all those fucking kids in the face, those kids at UC Berkeley that were just sitting on their knees, They got all that guy's information. | ||
| They put that shit online. | ||
| That I like. | ||
| That I like because that lets that guy know, hey, you can't do morally fucked up things because you're doing it under the blanket of your job, the umbrella of protection that you think has offered you by being a police officer. | ||
| You're doing something reprehensible, man. | ||
| You're spraying kids in the face with chemicals. | ||
| You piece of shit. | ||
| For no reason. | ||
| Yeah, and you gotta feel that, man. | ||
| You gotta feel that, man. | ||
| And you know what, man? | ||
| I saw a video where the people were trying to justify. | ||
| Like, listen, this is what happened. | ||
| This is the full story. | ||
| What you saw was edited. | ||
| And you know what they saw? | ||
| They saw the kids just sitting there for longer. | ||
| Yeah, they didn't move when they were told to move. | ||
| That doesn't mean you get to spray them in the fucking face. | ||
| I heard there was some shit in, was it Oakland, the other day? | ||
| And the cops were arrested, like, a crazy amount of people, like 120 or 30 people, but they were tear gassing, and there was, like, kids there. | ||
| Like, one, I don't think it's probably the best idea to be bringing your kids to things like this. | ||
| Yeah, people are assholes for bringing their kids to these rallies, because these things, things can break out in violence at any moment, especially in Oakland. | ||
| Oakland's kind of crazy, man. | ||
| Too short. | ||
| Yeah, short dog. | ||
| Yeah, Oakland is not to be fucked with, right? | ||
| Oakland's a tricky place. | ||
| That's been a hub for that shit for the last 40 years. | ||
| Since they play it every year, that's where they go up there. | ||
| These people know how to react to it. | ||
| They're sick and tired of it, too. | ||
| It takes two to fucking tangle. | ||
| But I love the idea of somebody checking somebody. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've always loved the idea... | ||
| Hey, listen, man, I grew up on fucking Death Wish. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| The cops can't be there for you all the fucking time. | ||
| I love the idea of somebody blasting a motherfucker when you fucking do something wrong. | ||
| And the internet's the best way. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I think the internet is eventually going to be the government. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| I think the way that we're going to govern things is through the internet. | ||
| Because instead of these oppressive groups... | ||
| See, what really fucks us is that we don't really get a say in everything. | ||
| What we get to do is we get a representative. | ||
| We get to choose a representative. | ||
| And they almost all get into office and immediately just do whatever the fucking corporations that got them into power asked them to do. | ||
| That's what they do immediately. | ||
| They pass a bunch of bills like the National Defense Authorization Act that everybody's going crazy about that Obama passed, that he said he would veto. | ||
| All of that stuff, if you put that for vote to America online, what do you guys want to do? | ||
| No fucking way we would vote for that. | ||
| You can arrest us and detain us with no warrant. | ||
| Because what people have to realize is the people that you're saying yes to today, when you make a law and you say, okay, here's the law, These people today may not be the same people you're saying yes to 20 years from now. | ||
| Or even 10 years from now. | ||
| You can put laws into place that give evil, corrupt people. | ||
| I'm not saying Obama's evil and corrupt, but I'm saying what he did is an evil and corrupt thing and he opened the door for evil and corruption. | ||
| No doubt about it. | ||
| Because if someone wants to do that, some future douchebag, some Dick Cheney of the future, if he gets into a position and the National Defense Authorization Act is in place, guess what? | ||
| A bunch of people are going to go to fucking jail that are just protesting the government. | ||
| A bunch of people are going to go to jail for obstructing the way the United States runs. | ||
| They're going to go to jail as enemies of the state. | ||
| That's real shit. | ||
| None of that would take place if the internet was how we did our government. | ||
| And it sounds ridiculous, but why shouldn't it be that way? | ||
| What our government is supposed to represent is what the people want. | ||
| And what the people want can easily be found out on the internet. | ||
| It's easiest. | ||
| The easiest way to contact people and find out exactly what the fuck they want, regardless of nationality, regardless of the state where they live in, is the internet. | ||
| That is how things are going to be ruled. | ||
| It used to be you had to go to a place, you had to write down what you thought, and put it in a fucking box. | ||
| And that's how they decided things. | ||
| Because that was the only way to do it. | ||
| The only problem with that, though, is there's more opportunity for hacking and things like that, unfortunately. | ||
| Now. | ||
| Right now there is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you know what? | ||
| That can be worked out too. | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| That's also, in part, a lot of that is in place also because of corruption. | ||
| Look at the fucking computerized voting machines. | ||
| If you don't know about this, watch a documentary called Hacking Democracy. | ||
| It was something that was on HBO a while back where they showed that these machines, these Diebold machines, are designed to be altered. | ||
| They're designed so that a third party can come in and change the results. | ||
| And they're so fucked up they changed their name. | ||
| Diebold doesn't even diebold anymore. | ||
| I'll find out what the fuck their name is now so you can't be tricked. | ||
| But we live in a corrupt system. | ||
| And what the internet recognizes is that the will of the people is not being represented. | ||
| What's being represented is the corporations. | ||
| And that's why everybody's hovering around all these fucking... | ||
| I mean, what this Occupy thing is, everyone's hovering and collecting and gathering together around all these sick areas. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Bullshit. | ||
| We had Too Short on a podcast last night, and it was really amazing. | ||
| Too Short, the rapper, by the way. | ||
| The rapper. | ||
| He has like 19 albums out, but one of the cool things hearing him talk about was he started off so early in the game that people didn't even know what rap was, and he would just open up his car doors and have a beat playing and just rap really loud with it. | ||
| And one guy came up to him and was like, man, I want to have that. | ||
| And then he just popped the cassette and sold it to him for five bucks. | ||
| And then he started selling it to all the drug dealers who heard about it, that lived in Oakland, all the Kingpin guys. | ||
| And so they all wanted their own personalized rap cassette. | ||
| So then he was having to write all these songs nonstop just to keep up with all these drug campaigns. | ||
| How'd you guys have him on the podcast? | ||
| Who knows him? | ||
| We had Kevin Black on, who's a sex tape guy. | ||
| He's the one that gets all the sex tape, like the Paris Hilton sex tapes and stuff like that. | ||
| He's one of the only guys that has even seen the Tupac sex tape. | ||
| And he's friends with him. | ||
| He's friends with him. | ||
| With two shorts. | ||
| With two shorts. | ||
| What's up with that Tupac sex tape? | ||
| It's too sexy. | ||
| White girls or African Americans? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I didn't ask. | ||
| Why can't he release it? | ||
| Tupac's family? | ||
| Yeah, I think it was a family thing. | ||
| I think the powers would be... | ||
| Diebold's changed its name to Premier Election Solutions Incorporated, or P-E-S-I. That's the new Diebold. | ||
| Isn't it funny when companies do that? | ||
| They get caught doing something fucked up, so they just change their name? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, we're evil, but whatever. | ||
| Yeah, you got to. | ||
| Blackwater did the same thing. | ||
| They changed their name. | ||
| What's their name now? | ||
| I'll find out. | ||
| How far do you think Anonymous can go? | ||
| Do you think they could ever get shut down? | ||
| No, it's impossible. | ||
| I think a lot of people get confused what Anonymous is. | ||
| The whole point why they can't get shut down is because no one knows who the fuck they are. | ||
| Can't they figure it out? | ||
| There's tons of people, though. | ||
| Won't they start arresting people? | ||
| It would be the most impossible thing. | ||
| That would be like trying to have an army put together that attacks the whole world. | ||
| It would be like World War. | ||
| For real, World War. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| Blackwater's so fucked up, they changed their name twice. | ||
| They went from Blackwater to XE, and then they went from XE to Akademi with a new logo. | ||
| They just keep changing their name. | ||
| They figure just no one's going to know. | ||
| Just keep changing it. | ||
| Keep changing it. | ||
| Stopping Anonymous would be like, yeah, they could spend all this money and time, and they'll find some 13-year-old in Australia, and then there's like a million other people behind that guy. | ||
| Well, the thing is, What they can do to prosecute people that they catch and how far they can go as far as shutting things down and controlling the infrastructure. | ||
| That's what people are worried about with this SOPA. With this SOPA, what they're worried about, again, it's not the people you're saying yes to today. | ||
| They might not be the same people you're saying yes to 20 years from now. | ||
| If you give the government the ability to just shut down websites, which, by the way, they already do. | ||
| Look what they just did with Mega Upload. | ||
| They just closed down Mega Upload. | ||
| I'm so bummed about Mega Upload closing, too. | ||
| It was a good website. | ||
| Okay, but let's play devil's advocate. | ||
| They closed Mega Upload because they said that Mega Upload has a bunch of different illegal files on it, like wares, and they have a bunch of movies and shit, screeners and mp3s. | ||
| If there's a website, and if you're offering that service to people where they can just upload shit, and then you sell advertisement, which they do, right? | ||
| Isn't that how they work that shit? | ||
| And they sell subscriptions? | ||
| I think if you have a free account, there's limitations and they serve advertising. | ||
| I think they also have a paid account that I don't think has advertising. | ||
| But I think what it is is that it shouldn't be the company's fault. | ||
| It should be the user. | ||
| So yes, they find Dances with Wolves on Mega Upload's server. | ||
| They find out who uploaded it. | ||
| They bust him. | ||
| I don't think it should be Mega Upload's fault for having a service where it's legally you're supposed to share files. | ||
| Okay, but let's play devil's advocate. | ||
| Let's play devil's advocate. | ||
| If you do have a service where you're just sharing files and providing bandwidth, you should be responsible for how much of that stuff is pirated, because otherwise you're a distribution angle. | ||
| You're essentially a distribution highway for illegal shit. | ||
| I think maybe, yes, you should be, but I think it should be more of like, I don't know, sharing of personal information if you are doing something illegal should be allowed, maybe? | ||
| Sharing of personal information? | ||
| Meaning like if the FBI comes to Meg Apple and goes, look, we know that you have Dances with Wolves on your server, and they're like, okay, we need to know who this user is. | ||
| I think then Meg Apple should be like, okay, here's the person's information. | ||
| Really? | ||
| You think they should give you up? | ||
| If you're doing illegal stuff, I don't think it should be Meg Apple. | ||
| Mega Upload's fault. | ||
| I don't think Mega Upload as a corporation should be shut down for a business because you want to share dance with the wolves. | ||
| Well, you know, better the corporation be shut down than the users going to jail. | ||
| That's the other devil's advocate is that these are just kids and they don't know any better and they think they're going to get away with it and they think they're just helping people out by providing files that everybody wants to get a hold of. | ||
| You know, look, the real problem is people have kind of grown up knowing that they can get shit for free now. | ||
| You know, that's like sort of how they're, that's how people feel. | ||
| They feel like shit is free. | ||
| You know, hey, I can get movies for free. | ||
| They joke around about it. | ||
| I've had people joke around on my own website about stealing my shit online. | ||
| They think it's cute. | ||
| You know, yeah, I'll get the Torrent, LOL. You know, and you're like, wow. | ||
| You know, like right in front of you, knowing that you, I mean, I don't... | ||
| It is what it is. | ||
| That's who you want to be? | ||
| That's all good. | ||
| But it's like they're so accustomed to stealing that they talk about it openly in front of the person's face on the website of the person who's selling the shit. | ||
| Yeah, but that's just called ignorance and stupidity. | ||
| But it's also, they feel not obligated, they feel entitled. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| It shouldn't be throwing people in prison. | ||
| I don't think it should be like, yeah, you were sharing Dancing with the Wolves with seven other people, and I don't think that person should go to prison for 20 years. | ||
| I think you should have some kind of thing, like maybe, all right, you're not allowed to have the internet for a year. | ||
| Well, that's the Kevin Mitnick punishment. | ||
| That's what they did to him. | ||
| But the real issue, Brian, is that that actually has crushed industries. | ||
| You know, like look at the music industry. | ||
| The music industry is fucked. | ||
| You know, one of the things that Dana White, Dana White actually wants to come on the podcast and he wants to talk about soul, but he wants to talk about all the shit that happened. | ||
| You know, I talked about interviewing him. | ||
| I go, let me interview you for UFC.com. | ||
| He goes, you know what would be better? | ||
| Let's do your podcast. | ||
| I said, all right, we'll do it. | ||
| So we're going to figure out when to do it. | ||
| And so, look, he's totally into free speech. | ||
| You just don't want him any ripping off his fucking product. | ||
| And then, you know, the amount of piracy is so widespread that people are actually pirating streams and then showing them in bars and charging people to go to those bars to watch pirated streams. | ||
| There's definitely cases like that. | ||
| Obviously, that should be attacked. | ||
| Well, there's also people that put streams up and then they sell advertising. | ||
| They have Google Ads. | ||
| And they actually, you know, it's not just like a free thing. | ||
| They're making money off of the stream. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, there's a big difference between that person who's putting that up there and making money from thousands of people that are coming to the site and the person who's 14 years old, who can't afford the UFC, who's downloading it for free. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So that's what the real issue is. | ||
| What they're really concerned about is the people that are actually profiting off pirating their shit. | ||
| It's a tricky thing. | ||
| Look, my take on it has always been that the Internet, without a doubt, has promoted me and helped me more than anything. | ||
| So the more people that have stolen my stuff means the more people who have enjoyed my stuff, which means the more people will come to see me. | ||
| The more people will come like this Chicago show or anything else. | ||
| I mean, it's the purpose. | ||
| We could easily charge for this podcast. | ||
| I mean, somebody probably willing to pay. | ||
| We know a lot of people that make a lot of money every month because of their podcast. | ||
| You know, they have subscriptions where they have like one extra podcast they do every month. | ||
| But I think the best way to do it is to give as much people as much shit for free as possible. | ||
| But that's also because we're live performers, you know. | ||
| That's how we see it. | ||
| We're live performers. | ||
| The key for us is come out and see us, man. | ||
| Devil's advocate of the UFC thing is that, honestly, it's $60. | ||
| Nowadays, there's like two or three UFCs a month sometimes, even. | ||
| To me, I like the UFC a bit. | ||
| I know if I was a hardcore UFC guy, I would order every single one. | ||
| That's a lot of money. | ||
| I don't agree with you. | ||
| I don't argue with you. | ||
| That's $180. | ||
| Sometimes it's every week. | ||
| I think that if UFC was smart, and a lot of these people were smart, they would do a subscription-based thing. | ||
| Like you're paying 20 bucks a month you get everything USA you know what else would be kind of dope if they had it like the way HBO pay-per-view has it where you If you like don't want to watch Oscar de la Hoya fight or Floyd Mayweather fight on HBO pay-per-view Next week the next Friday. | ||
| It's for free on HBO. | ||
| Yeah, that's a good. | ||
| That would be pretty pretty dope I agree You know if like they had like huge cards like say Alistair Overy and fights Junior dos Santos and it's a big pay-per-view card how about throw it on Fox the next Friday and You know, you could watch a replay. | ||
| And that way, also, they'll know that they're going to put on some badass fight. | ||
| So if it's some, you know, if it's one of those fights that's not the most entertaining fight. | ||
| I mean, live fights are much better, sure, for Fox. | ||
| Maybe it's not Fox. | ||
| Maybe it's an FX thing, Showdown FX, the week after. | ||
| Not a bad idea. | ||
| But the thing about MMA is a lot of people buy the replays. | ||
| They'll buy it again, and they'll hear about how good it is, and they'll buy the replay. | ||
| That probably is a venue thing. | ||
| That kills it for about two weeks. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| That kills it for about two weeks. | ||
| So you've got to get all the money you can. | ||
| You know, what he was doing over the years is after a fight, they would put it up to UFC Unleashed maybe six months in. | ||
| Now, they fucking put it up to UFC Unleashed a month later. | ||
| Yeah, that's good. | ||
| That's really fucking good. | ||
| Yeah, that's good. | ||
| So the fight, not this week, but let's say... | ||
| Nick Diaz against Nate Diaz against Cerrone. | ||
| You know, I want to see that. | ||
| It'll be on this month. | ||
| That was New Year's. | ||
| It'll be on first week of February. | ||
| I miss all those Spike guys. | ||
| Those guys were awesome. | ||
| Well, you know, like I said, right now is the best time. | ||
| Listen, right now is the best time ever for an MMA enthusiast. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| A guy like me. | ||
| Look, I go home right now. | ||
| I tape UFC tonight. | ||
| I tape fucking Pride with Kendra Perez from 9 to 10, which it's better than the Prides they were doing before. | ||
| They eliminated a lot of shit that you didn't need to see. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And now they even cut it down. | ||
| They got Crow Cop against fucking... | ||
| The Russian, I've been watching some fights. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, my head's almost exploded. | ||
| Not to mention, you know, you got the round table with Jay. | ||
| You got, you know, late night fucking UFC reloaded, which those are fucking lightning quick. | ||
| Okay, so let's see the Ben Henderson fight against Frank Yeager's 25th. | ||
| It'll be on by the last week of March. | ||
| Plus, they got the contract on Spike until the end of 2012. So on Wednesdays, you can watch fucking all fights all fucking day. | ||
| And you know Spike, anything that fucking FX does now, they counter it. | ||
| Like this week, they had all of Rashad's fights. | ||
| Believe it or not, a couple people fucking watched that shit. | ||
| I think it's good. | ||
| This is good. | ||
| I'm fucking happy. | ||
| I don't miss a fucking thing. | ||
| My DVR is UFC reloaded, UFC tonight. | ||
| You know, tonight is the countdown at 6 o'clock fucking Pacific, 9 o'clock Eastern. | ||
| They're giving you a ton of fucking MMA. Why you gotta fucking steal something for? | ||
| What the fuck you gotta steal something for? | ||
| What else can they fucking give you? | ||
| On the music tip, what I found for me personally, like with iTunes and Torrance, is not only because people, I mean, the whole industry, the record industry just fell apart, but what's happening, and I know they gotta feel this, but... | ||
| I'm buying all my old shit on iTunes. | ||
| I don't want to pull out the CDs and load them into my computer and then upload them to my iPod. | ||
| I just want to get on my phone and I think of a song that I already have for my old record collection. | ||
| I'm rebuying all my old shit. | ||
| What about that? | ||
| I know we're not buying as many CDs, but I think people are buying all the old shit. | ||
| I bought Stairway to Heaven about 30 times in my life. | ||
| Yeah, there's definitely a few CDs I've bought 10 times. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I know you can get it for free somewhere, but people are just like, let me go iTunes 99 cents. | ||
| Make it so cheap. | ||
| But you have money. | ||
| For really poor college kids, they do exactly that, but they go to a ware site or they go to a torrent. | ||
| Does he even wear sights anymore? | ||
| It's so cheap, though. | ||
| It's like 99 cents a song? | ||
| I mean, that's cheap. | ||
| Is Led Zeppelin even on iTunes yet? | ||
| They finally fucking sit here. | ||
| Are they on iTunes? | ||
| Are they? | ||
|
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|
There's a couple bands that still, to this day, they won't go on it. | |
| Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, a couple bands won't go on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why not? | |
| I don't understand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| People are weird. | ||
| You know, those old-school motherfuckers are set in 1970s still. | ||
| I think, just like Red Band said, when it's something that you can download illegally, like music or movies or anything, just sell it for as cheap as possible so that you got to sell it so that it's not worth going and downloading. | ||
| Well, that's what Louis C.K. did. | ||
| When Louis C.K. did, he sold his whole special for five bucks. | ||
| You'll get that money. | ||
| You'll get that money. | ||
| I will never spend $180 on a UFC a month, but if I were the option for $20 a month and I got everything, I would do it even if I never watched it. | ||
| Listen, man, what Louis C.K. did. | ||
| They get a lot more people. | ||
| They get a lot more people. | ||
| You're just so used to a pricing structure that was created by boxing in the 80s because pay-per-view was so amazing back then. | ||
| What? | ||
| If you had any idea how much it costs to put on a production, you would understand why you have to charge so much. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah, but if you had 20 bucks, you'd sell more. | ||
| No, you wouldn't. | ||
| You wouldn't sell enough to compensate. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| What Louis C.K. did, Joe Rogan, was the most brilliant thing a comedian has done in 20 years. | ||
| Yeah, he gambled his own money. | ||
| He's like anonymous. | ||
| He checked everybody. | ||
| Yeah, he checked the whole system. | ||
| Comedy Central got checked. | ||
| iTunes got checked. | ||
| By the way, I'm doing the same thing. | ||
| I'm working it out right now. | ||
| You have to. | ||
| I'm thinking about doing it in Atlanta in April. | ||
| That's my plan. | ||
|
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|
You have to. | |
| You have to. | ||
| What, it gave it away for free or something? | ||
| Five bucks. | ||
| Five bucks for a DVD. But here's the beauty of it, man. | ||
| Everybody benefited on this, but nobody benefited as much as the fans. | ||
| Louie did it for his fans. | ||
| Five bucks for a download? | ||
| Is that what it was? | ||
| Or for the actual hard copy? | ||
| I think you get a download. | ||
| Well, that's all you need. | ||
| That's all you need. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| I think you get to download it more than once. | ||
| Make it so cheap that they can't refuse. | ||
| What did he make on it? | ||
| What's the number? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| It was a million dollars after 10 days. | ||
| And that's the idea of the UFC 20 bucks a month thing. | ||
| Yeah, I don't think they would do it that way. | ||
| It's not ready for 20 a month. | ||
| They're two years, three years away. | ||
| But I think that a monthly subscription is not a bad idea. | ||
| That would be pretty cool. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And you get everything. | ||
| You get the webpage, you get the... | ||
| What's the club? | ||
| What's the fight club? | ||
| Fight club. | ||
| Fight club. | ||
| Don't they have a thing that they do that with the NFL? They have NFL packages that you get on DirecTV. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You get all the games. | ||
| All the games. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They make a ton of fucking money. | ||
| Well, you know, they came real close to having a UFC channel. | ||
| You know, they were going to have a UFC fucking channel at one point in time. | ||
| They were thinking about buying like a Spike TV or something along those lines and starting their own channel. | ||
| And that might very well be the future. | ||
| You know, who knows? | ||
| After they're done with the Fox deal or they might do it with Fox or, you know, who knows how all this comes together. | ||
| You know, the Fox things are strange, man. | ||
| It's the same, but it's not the same. | ||
| It's the same, but there's like all this extra talking. | ||
| You know, I see all this sitting around the desk and all this shit, and I watched it, and I was like, I feel like, you know, the way we did it Spike style, they could slide in another fight. | ||
| You know, there's some badass fights in that undercard, man. | ||
| You know, they could have slid in that Charles Oliveira. | ||
| Cub Swanson. | ||
| Cub Swanson knockout, yeah. | ||
| Fucking a ton of shit that we could have slid in there. | ||
| Yeah, they could have slid something in there instead of everybody talking. | ||
| I would rather not talk other than, you know, I mean, look, everybody knows what it is. | ||
| I'll hype it up in the beginning and everything like that, but I want to get that fucking walk-in going. | ||
| Let's go, baby. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| You know, I can hype everything up plenty while these dudes are walking into the octagon. | ||
| I can answer any questions or propose any possible scenarios. | ||
| I just want the fucking fight to take place. | ||
| I say the less talking, the better. | ||
| But I think they're used to, like, desks and shit. | ||
| Fox is used to, like, dudes with paper in front of them. | ||
| They love it. | ||
| It's crazy listening to the Super Bowl music with UFC. They get mad. | ||
| That's not Super Bowl music. | ||
| That's Fox Sports music. | ||
| Well, that's the music you hear. | ||
| They get all crazy. | ||
| By the way, Joe Diaz, your special is $5. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| We should mention that. | ||
| Yes, but let me tell you something. | ||
| The first card... | ||
| It's me or the priest, right? | ||
| Yes, it's either you or the priest. | ||
| The first card... | ||
| How do they get that? | ||
| Payloads. | ||
| Payloads. | ||
| But hold on. | ||
| Payloads what? | ||
| I like the UFC, bro, and I like what they do. | ||
| As a fan, I like what they do. | ||
| I really like everything about it. | ||
| You know, when I watch fucking Showtime... | ||
| I gotta lower the fucking volume, okay? | ||
| And when I watch Fox, I don't mind Kenny Florian there. | ||
| The other guy's like a miniature fucking Joe Rogan with his little haircut and his little fucking suit. | ||
| He looks like Joe Rogan on News Radio. | ||
| He looks like Joe Rogan on News Radio. | ||
| All he needs is a pointy fucking sideburns, right? | ||
| But it's so weird that... | ||
| What the fuck was I talking about? | ||
| Anyway. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| The first Fox fight was a fucking nightmare. | ||
| We went to it. | ||
| You were kind enough to give myself and Eddie tickets. | ||
| First off, the fight started at 6. Nothing happened until 6.40. | ||
| That's too much, Joe Rogan. | ||
| I can't sit there for 40 minutes when I'm psyched up. | ||
| Everybody else is talking. | ||
| At least now, they're giving you three fucking fights. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Especially. | |
| Live. | ||
| 40 minutes we sat there. | ||
| No national anthem. | ||
| No peanuts. | ||
| Nobody get down here and give you a fucking drink. | ||
| We didn't know what to do. | ||
| You can't get up. | ||
| You can't pee. | ||
| We don't know when the fucking next fight is. | ||
| Yeah, they didn't treat it the way we always treat a regular live event. | ||
| But the last two have been tremendous. | ||
| This last one was beautiful. | ||
| I taped the Fox thing. | ||
| But isn't it crazy that the main fights, except for the Bisping Summit fight, which is pretty exciting, the main fights weren't as exciting as the fights in the undercard. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Bro, it's the Curse of Fox. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You don't have to crawl. | ||
| The Curse of Fox. | ||
| No, it'll be fine. | ||
| Look, that FX fight. | ||
| That Melvin Gallard, Jim Miller fight. | ||
| That was tremendous. | ||
| That was tremendous. | ||
| That was bad. | ||
| Jim Miller's a fucking animal, dude. | ||
| Jim Miller's an animal. | ||
| Goddamn that dude. | ||
| Dude, Melvin was lighting him up. | ||
| He was. | ||
| We've never seen Jim Miller. | ||
| He caught him with some shots. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Jim Miller can take it, though, man. | ||
| He can take it. | ||
| And the way he took that back, woo! | ||
| He dove on that back mount, man. | ||
| I've always been scary from those guys from that side of the woods in Jersey. | ||
| They come out to Creedence Clearwater and shit like that. | ||
| Close to Pennsylvania. | ||
| Those motherfuckers will kill you, dog. | ||
| That other side of New Jersey. | ||
| That's the woods. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| You might as well be living in Tennessee. | ||
| You might as well be living in Georgia. | ||
| There's good people over there. | ||
| Yeah, that's fucking different. | ||
| He hunts all the time. | ||
| Wyckoff, wherever the fuck he's from. | ||
| Yeah, that's a different angle over there. | ||
| Yeah, Jim Miller's a hunter. | ||
| You don't think of that when you think of Jersey, like outdoorsmen hunters. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, that's a... | |
| You got the Jersey Shore, you got those crazy fucking mountain men, and you got Northern New Jersey. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| You got Millburn. | ||
| Yeah, totally different. | ||
| Three different fucking continents in one. | ||
| The Jersey Shore, they're just passing off VD. Dude, I just started watching Jersey Shore, and I fucking love it. | ||
| Snooki and Dina? | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| You love it for real? | ||
| I'm addicted to it! | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because they're so retarded! | ||
| I love watching... | ||
| I mean, Snooki and Dina are female versions of Beavis and Butthead. | ||
| And they're like, for real! | ||
| They're actually alive! | ||
| You know, it's not animation. | ||
| These are real people! | ||
| No, but Eddie, they're set up... | ||
| It's fake reality. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| Sometimes. | ||
| Well, whatever it is. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Did you see Snooki get punched? | ||
| That shit was not fake. | ||
| That was real. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was what? | |
| Season one or season two? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But the majority of the shit now is like, hey, we're going to put Snooki inside this barbershop, and this barbershop's super gay because we casted him gay, and it's just going to be ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's completely fake. | ||
| And you know what's even worse about the whole fucking Jersey Shore thing? | ||
| It's that new movie, Three Stooges. | ||
| This is a classic franchise that's been rebooted. | ||
| In the trailer, fucking Snooki's in it. | ||
| I love Snooki. | ||
| This is disturbingly disgusting. | ||
| I love her. | ||
| I just want her to talk. | ||
| Her and Dina? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I don't know who Dina is. | ||
| Dina's her best friend. | ||
| She's amazing. | ||
| She's amazing. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| All they do every episode is, there's gonna be a part in the episode where they're all getting ready to go out and they're all doing their fucking hair and putting on their makeup. | ||
| They go to Karma and it's the same shit. | ||
| You know what's crazy about it is, they are so retarded that you would think with all the cameras, with all the cameras and all their fame, That they would have girls crawling all over them. | ||
| The girls would? | ||
| You would think the guys would have girls crawling all over them. | ||
| But it's not what you think. | ||
| It's like girls don't want to go back to that house and be on TV. They gotta get fucked! | ||
| Not only are they going to get fucked, they're going to look like losers. | ||
| Yeah, it's incredible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They go out and sometimes they don't get pussy. | |
| They got cameras all over them and they're super famous and they have fucking bad nights and the girls are banging on like regular fucking Skeezes that they've been banging for a long time. | ||
| They're incredible. | ||
| What do you think about Big Edge, though? | ||
| You know what? | ||
| As good as Jersey Shore is, the best show on TV. Nothing fucks with Mob Wives, dude. | ||
| If you haven't watched Mob Wives, go fuck yourself. | ||
| That is the... | ||
| You watch it, right? | ||
| You watch it many times. | ||
| You know, the problem is I knew too many of those women. | ||
| Those women that, like, knew guys that were, like, in and they would, like, fucking threaten you. | ||
| I'll fucking make one phone call right now! | ||
| These bitches are just fighting each other every episode. | ||
| They want... | ||
| And they have money. | ||
| They're in their 40s. | ||
| You would think they would have some class. | ||
| But they're like, fuck you! | ||
| The last episode... | ||
| You need to go on their Twitters. | ||
| Oh, yeah, I do. | ||
| I follow all of them. | ||
| The one mother's wife, the one who's divorced, and she keeps calling her ex-husband. | ||
| This man disrespected me. | ||
| Which one? | ||
| The ex-husband will show up. | ||
| The fat one with the big head. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Oh, wait a minute. | ||
| The big Ralphie Mae head. | ||
| Is her husband out of jail or in jail? | ||
| Her husband divorced her. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I think he was about to go to jail again. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's Renee. | ||
| He's Puerto Rican. | ||
| How's he in the mob? | ||
| He's Puerto Rican. | ||
| Her father. | ||
| They're saying that she married or he married Renee to get into the mob. | ||
| That's what they're saying. | ||
| They're accusing her of that. | ||
| His name is Hector Junior. | ||
| Really? | ||
| How many fucking Italians do you know their name is Hector? | ||
| Yeah, he's cute. | ||
| But what happened was, remember we had this discussion the other day. | ||
| I read her Twitter. | ||
| Staten Island was a fucking garbage dump run by the fucking Indians. | ||
| That's where they put the Indians after they threw them out of New York. | ||
| Then they decided, fuck, we got this property over there. | ||
| Let's build on fucking Staten Island with garbage. | ||
| Todd Hill. | ||
| So it was all just garbage? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It used to... | ||
| Half of it was a dump. | ||
| That's why when you're driving... | ||
| I mean, bro, it's 20 minutes from Jersey that way. | ||
| That's when they give you... | ||
| I'll tell you what. | ||
| Staten Island, to me, when I used to do gigs in New York, Staten Island had the most unfriendly environment. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| There was one club on Staten Island. | ||
| Grandpa's. | ||
| Grandpa's. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was... | |
| Al Lewis's joint. | ||
| They wouldn't give you a seat for your girlfriend. | ||
| You would show up with your girlfriend. | ||
| They would like, can she sit down in the back? | ||
| No. | ||
| Your seats are for customers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, wow. | |
| Like, your performers, like, they don't even have, like, a little site, a little spot where the performer can sit down or your girlfriend can sit down. | ||
| Like, they would want you to, you know, go stand outside, stupid. | ||
| You're not a part of the show. | ||
| It was just a weird vibe. | ||
| Listen, I went to St. Nile one time because I got sick and tired of going to Harlem. | ||
| If they caught you getting weed in Harlem on the way back from Jersey, they would confiscate your car because you were interstate transporting over federal lines. | ||
| Those bridges in that tunnel, yeah, they're cute. | ||
| But if they catch you bringing drugs over, your car gets confiscated. | ||
| Yeah, that's how it is in California, too. | ||
| So that's what happened there. | ||
| So you had to go in through the George Washington and come back to Lincoln Tunnel. | ||
| After every day, you get sick of going over there for weed. | ||
| They said the Jamaicans had gone to Staten Island, okay? | ||
| There's a Jamaican neighborhood in Staten Island. | ||
| They sell the best. | ||
| So one day in 94, me and my buddy go over there. | ||
| No biggie. | ||
| We drive in. | ||
| We're looking for black people. | ||
| We can't fucking find them. | ||
| We can't find no dreads. | ||
| I can't smell no fucking incense. | ||
| I can't do nothing. | ||
| And all of a sudden, what do I see? | ||
| I see 20 fucking Guidos on a corner with white t-shirts on, with white shoes on, pinky rings, the whole thing. | ||
| I pull up, you know, at the light, and they're like, who are you looking for? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nothing. | |
| We're looking for a little better. | ||
| Pull over. | ||
| Pull over. | ||
| Come on over here. | ||
| Before you know, I had 20 Italians around me. | ||
| Yeah, what are you looking for? | ||
| I want a 20. All right, park the fucking car and go into the fucking pizza place, and somebody will come up. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I parked the car with my buddy. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I'm hungry. | ||
| I go to the pizza place. | ||
| Guy comes in. | ||
| What do you want? | ||
| I want a 20. Okay. | ||
| Listen, from now on, when you come over here, you see fucking whatever his name was, Angelo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay? | |
| You ask for Angelo. | ||
| No problem. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| One day it snows. | ||
| A month later, you know what? | ||
| I don't want to go into the city. | ||
| Let's go into Staten Island real quick. | ||
| The weed wasn't bad. | ||
| I pull up. | ||
| I don't see Angelo. | ||
| I don't see nobody. | ||
| I see 20 fucking guineas. | ||
| I don't know none of them. | ||
| I pull over. | ||
| I go in the pizza place. | ||
| Within 15 minutes, I had 15 Italians in there. | ||
| Three of them were bats. | ||
| What are you doing here? | ||
| Disrespecting. | ||
| We told you when you come up here, you got to see Angelo. | ||
| You weren't asking for Louie. | ||
| I didn't ask for nobody. | ||
| I asked for a fucking slice of pizza. | ||
| It was an hour and a half drama to get a $20 bag of wheat. | ||
| Where's the weed? | ||
| You know what a weed is? | ||
| I don't know what a weed is. | ||
| You know what a weed is? | ||
| And I was like, you know what? | ||
| It was too much for me, bro. | ||
| That angry Italian... | ||
| It was too much for me. | ||
| It was just too much. | ||
| Staten Island vibes, a bad vibe. | ||
| The pizza was delicious. | ||
| The bread was delicious. | ||
| Everything was great. | ||
| But I never went back over there. | ||
| And that's what I see when I watch my wife. | ||
| There's spots like that. | ||
| Still alive. | ||
| It's not comfortable. | ||
| Who you with? | ||
| That's the first thing they ask you. | ||
| And this is why he wants you a good father, too. | ||
| Godfather, too. | ||
| Who you with? | ||
| That's the first thing they ask you. | ||
| I'm not with nobody. | ||
| I can't with any... | ||
| No, no! | ||
| We don't know no Eddie Bravo. | ||
| Who you with? | ||
| And that was not, by the way, reinforced by all those shitty mob movies. | ||
| You know, so many people got into it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| Bronx Tale and all these different... | ||
| Bronx Tale wasn't bad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Living with Godfather 2. It wasn't bad, but I think the vibe of it... | |
| Godfather 2 was the greatest movie of all time. | ||
| They were all great movies. | ||
| You know nothing. | ||
| There's a great... | ||
| A bunch of them. | ||
| Listen, let me tell you something. | ||
| Godfather 2, and I forgot to tell you something. | ||
| It's better than the fucking... | ||
| It's the first movie ever. | ||
| That's better than the first one. | ||
| Not to me, because Marlon Brando is rock over fucking everything. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| He's rocking. | ||
| When he told that motherfucker at the table that, you know what? | ||
| I do of all this situation here. | ||
| My son has to come back. | ||
| But if for some unfortunate fucking situation he should be struck by a bolt of lightning or he should be hung in his fucking jail cell, I will blame the people at this table. | ||
| And that I will not fucking forgive. | ||
| That's the greatest speech at the top of the album. | ||
| The problem is every stupid douchebag wants to be that guy. | ||
| No, Marlon Brando was beautiful. | ||
| The fucking studio didn't even want him. | ||
| Listen, Marlon Brando was the first man ever. | ||
| Marlon Brando was one of my idols because he told Hollywood to suck his dick. | ||
| I think he told a lot of men to suck his dick. | ||
| Yeah, he did. | ||
| I think I have a photo of it. | ||
| He went down to Mutiny on the Bounty and bought a fucking island. | ||
| Nobody's ever bought an island. | ||
| Nobody's ever been that fucking quick. | ||
| Tyler Perry. | ||
| After now. | ||
| But this was 1970. It was a motherfucker. | ||
| And then impregnated half the women on that island. | ||
| All of them are named Marlon. | ||
| Every fucking kid on that island is Marlon Brando. | ||
| That was part of living on the island. | ||
| You gotta suck my dick. | ||
| Where was this island? | ||
| It was off the fucking coast of Hawaii. | ||
| Wherever he shot that thing. | ||
| Island of Dr. Moreau. | ||
| Bro, Warner Brothers went down there, whoever the fucking people were, and looked at the tapes. | ||
| And they're like, what is this? | ||
| You're shooting birds and pigeons? | ||
| Where you been from? | ||
| Where the fuck have you been for the last month? | ||
| He's like, dog, I've been fucking these Hawaiian chicks up the ass. | ||
| I'm having a great fucking time. | ||
| Saw him when the Godfather came along. | ||
| They didn't want him. | ||
| They're like, this guy wasted millions of fucking dollars. | ||
| Yeah, put that up here. | ||
| Put that up here, Brian. | ||
| Yeah, you sure? | ||
| Yeah, put that up. | ||
| Put that up. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Oh, you can't do it on Ustream, right? | ||
| Oh, sorry. | ||
| But if you just Google Marlon Brando sucking dick, it's actually an artistic shot that Marlon did. | ||
| Yeah, he really sucked the cock. | ||
| But artistic with two quotations. | ||
| That's how deep the motherfucker was. | ||
| And he doesn't even look that fat back then. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| That sperm kills the fucking sperm. | ||
| Listen, I got a boogie with stew. | ||
| I love you, cocksucker. | ||
| I just want. | ||
| I'll see you Thursday night. | ||
| I gotta go for my knee at 6 up at the Bob Hope fucking center to get everything in shape. | ||
| Don't forget payloads. | ||
| Don't forget fucking Vegas. | ||
| I'm gonna fucking kill you motherfuckers this week. | ||
| Eddie Bravo. | ||
| Don't forget the Sandy Bravo gift for his fucking kid on Twitter. | ||
| Send it to... | ||
| Oh, some guy emailed me. | ||
| They bought you a camera, cocksucker, so I want 10 points. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want a lens. | |
| They bought you a camera. | ||
| I want a fucking lens, cop. | ||
| See you Thursday, brother. | ||
| And Friday night, we're going to have a good time. | ||
| House of Blues, Vegas, Mandalay Bay, Duncan Trussell, Joe Diaz, me, the whole pile. | ||
| One more thing I wanted to talk about before we get out of here, because this is pretty fucking fascinating shit. | ||
| You know, we talked about the problem in the ocean, that big pile of plastic that they have. | ||
| Yeah, the garbage patch. | ||
| They just found a mushroom in the Amazon that eats indestructible plastics. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty fucking nuts, man. | ||
| So we're going to throw a bunch of mushrooms on it, and then the water's going to be all trippy, and we're all going to die. | ||
| It eats polyurethane, man. | ||
| The mushroom is called petalopteopsis microspora. | ||
| Pestilopsis. | ||
| It's spelled P-E-S-T-A-L-O-T-I-O-P-S-I-S. Micro S-P-O-R-A. So it's a resident of the Ecuadorian rainforest and was discovered by a group of student researchers led by molecular biochemistry professor Scott Strobel as a part of Yale's annual rainforest expedition and laboratory You know, they go down there, man. | ||
| They have these scientists and these researchers go down there, and every now and then they'll find some fucking crazy shit. | ||
| There's like all sorts of medicines that have come out of the rainforest, incredible psychedelic drugs, all kinds of nutty fucking things, and they're chewing that bitch up every day. | ||
| So the mushroom like disintegrates the plastics, or what's it do? | ||
| It eats it. | ||
| It's the first fungus species. | ||
| Mushrooms have mouths? | ||
| Mushrooms absorb things. | ||
| It's like karma-free living, the way mushrooms live. | ||
| They literally live in shit. | ||
| They live the most humble life possible. | ||
| But it's a living organism. | ||
| It's the first fungus species to be able to survive exclusively on polyurethane. | ||
| So it lives on fucking indestructible plastic. | ||
| And more importantly, it's able to do that in anaerobic conditions, meaning the same conditions found in the bottom of landfills. | ||
| And this makes this fungus a prime candidate for bioremediation projects that could finally provide an alternative to just burying plastic and hoping for the best. | ||
| I wonder how long the process takes. | ||
| Are we talking about 30 years? | ||
| Probably a billion years, but at least it's better than what the plan's now. | ||
| Now they need to find some shit that eats nuclear waste. | ||
| It's probably in the Amazon. | ||
| It's probably a frog. | ||
| It's probably Snooki. | ||
| It's a frog. | ||
| They're going to give it this frog, it's going to eat nuclear waste, and then it's going to become fucking Godzilla. | ||
| Oh no! | ||
| There goes Tokyo! | ||
| Go, go, Godzilla! | ||
| Denny Propagos, do you want to step up to the mic? | ||
| Do you want to be on the podcast here, son? | ||
| This is our boy Denny. | ||
| We've known Denny since he was a little child, since he was a small boy, and now he's a black belt world champion. | ||
| First 10th Planet Jiu-Jitsu black belt. | ||
| The viewers have been looking at his feet for the last two hours. | ||
| They are sexy feet. | ||
| Headphones. | ||
| Headphones, son. | ||
| So everybody knows that you know what you sound like. | ||
| At the Gracie Nationals this past Sunday, not only did 10th Planet get the first place team title for the Gracie Nationals, but Danny also got first place in his division, tapping out two black belts. | ||
| He twisted a Joe Moreira black belt, and he guillotined UFC star Nam Phan in 29 seconds. | ||
| Danny had a... | ||
| He capped off an epic... | ||
| Day for 10th Planet. | ||
| That was a flying guillotine? | ||
| You got a flying one? | ||
| Jumped up? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no, no. | |
| He shot in for a single leg on my right leg and I just wrapped his neck and I drove my hips in. | ||
| He fell back. | ||
| I hooked his right leg with a triangle, stepped over with my right leg, crossed my feet, arched my hips, looked up. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| It was amazing, man. | ||
| Geething is nasty. | ||
| Yeah, we've known Denny since... | ||
| What were you like? | ||
| A purple belt when you started training with Eddie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Blue belt? | |
| Blue. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Blue belt? | |
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
14 or 15. Actually, no. | |
| I started training with Eddie when I was an orange belt. | ||
| So that's like little kids, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I was 15. Damn. | |
| Wow. | ||
| Tell him about our first private lesson. | ||
| He lives in San Francisco. | ||
| He's been there the whole time. | ||
| I'm in LA. I had just opened up. | ||
| I had my first school open for maybe two years and I'll never forget. | ||
| I'll never forget when it was after a tournament me and a couple well-known jujitsu players were in the parking lot smoking some weed in our car and here's this little kid like two cars away just Standing there, looking at us. | ||
| And we're like trying to hide the weed. | ||
| Like, oh no, there's a kid there. | ||
| Hide the weed. | ||
| We're like hiding the weed and he knew exactly what we were doing. | ||
| And then we... | ||
| But he lives in San Francisco. | ||
| Yeah, he drove down for the tournament. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's different. | |
| San Francisco kids learn about weed when they're three. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| That's been legal there for like 30 years. | ||
| Yeah, nobody gives a fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The first time I got offered to smoke was I was in fourth grade. | |
| So tell us about tell us about your first experience with like remember your birthday and all that kind of stuff oh yeah so for was it my my 15th birthday my brother and I we were gonna go down to this Greek convention it was like this Greek dancing thing and I'm like all right I want to I want to take it private with Eddie you know and He taught me the rubber guard. | ||
| Back then, he actually taught me London and taught me the invisible collar, the basic path, and taught me some twister stuff, taught me the meat hook, and I basically went back and all the stuff, I videotaped it. | ||
| He had his brother drive down from San Francisco. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So it was pretty cool. | ||
| So that was pretty crazy. | ||
| I had this kid, and I usually don't do privates, but this kid shows up, and I'm like, you know what? | ||
| I like to save all my energy for my group classes. | ||
| I really don't have energy for privates. | ||
| Really, just rarely do I give them. | ||
| And he comes down, you know, this 15-year-old kid, drove all the way from Frisco. | ||
| I'm like, okay. | ||
| And he ended up... | ||
| I knew right there, right there. | ||
| I knew that this guy... | ||
| There was something special about him. | ||
| I knew that, I mean, if he's willing to drive all the way down from San Francisco to take a private, that he's down for life. | ||
| This guy was... | ||
| Yeah, that's the most important thing that anyone could ever show. | ||
| It's just, if you want to be successful at something, you have to be really fucking dedicated to it. | ||
| Really dedicated. | ||
| And doing something like that, come all the way down from San Francisco, that shows you. | ||
| And it never waver, because even to this day, to this day, I'm not just saying this. | ||
| To this day, he's definitely the most decorated 10th planet... | ||
| Competitor. | ||
| Yeah, he's won the most titles. | ||
| He's competed the most at the highest levels in straight grappling. | ||
| I have guys that have done MMA and they've done well, like Scott Epstein and all. | ||
| But at pure grappling, Denny has done the most. | ||
| And it's because he... | ||
| He drills and practices way more than anybody I know. | ||
| I mean, he's a jujitsu fanatic. | ||
| Not only does... | ||
| Like yesterday, we're rolling. | ||
| We're rolling. | ||
| And every move, every little trick I had, even the latest shit, the latest tricks, he would call it out. | ||
| He would tell me what I was thinking. | ||
| Nobody can do that. | ||
| Nobody can break down the 10th planet system like Denny. | ||
| Tell me exactly how I'm planning to trick him. | ||
| I've never had anybody do that. | ||
| He was calling everything out. | ||
| It was fucking me up. | ||
| Like, holy shit, this guy's reading my mind. | ||
| He studies the 10th planet system like no one else, and he studies all the new games that are coming up, like all the 50-50 stuff, all the leg lock, all the latest stuff that the Brazilians are coming up with, like Rafael Mendes and Cobrina, all the Spiral and De La Jiva. | ||
| This guy, he studies it like he has OCD. He's just obsessed. | ||
| He's focused. | ||
| It's so important to be around people like that. | ||
| In life, there's always people that are willing to take things to another level, that are learning quicker than everybody else, that have more passion. | ||
| It's so important. | ||
| And it rubs off on his students. | ||
| Check this out. | ||
| I had maybe about seven or eight of my schools compete at the tournament. | ||
| And his school, the San Francisco school, by far did the best. | ||
| They were 12 in 1. He had four guys competing. | ||
| 12 in 1. And the one loss was in the finals. | ||
| It was like a 30 minute match. | ||
|
unidentified
|
37 minute match. | |
| And the guy lost, but it was incredible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He didn't even tap. | |
| He went to sleep. | ||
| That's incredible though. | ||
| 37 minutes. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| I mean, he's got incredible students, like future stars, like Adam Sachnoff, we call him Big Red. | ||
| Adam Sachnoff is 230 pounds. | ||
| His rubber guard is insane. | ||
| And he's got black belt level guillotines and Darces and Japanese necktie. | ||
| And then Mike Hillebrand and Travis. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Travis Magalette, yeah. | |
| He's got some crazy students. | ||
| And by the way, if you're in San Francisco, Danny, how did they find your place? | ||
| Because a lot of people already come to your place because of the podcast, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes, yes, yes. | |
| Your podcast has helped. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| I really appreciate that. | ||
| How did they get there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're on 333 Valencia Street, Suite 100, inside Valencia Street Muscle, the gym. | |
| And my website is 10thplanetjujitsusf.com. | ||
| And for folks who, you know, look, I get emails, I get Twitter messages all the time saying, thank you, I started doing jiu-jitsu because of the podcast. | ||
| For people who think you can't do it, if your body works, you can do it, alright? | ||
| You don't have to go in there and jump in there with killers. | ||
| You take beginning classes, you learn some technique, and it's fun. | ||
| And you know what, man? | ||
| You just gotta be able to be tapped out. | ||
| When you get tapped out, just tap. | ||
| Just tap and go right back in and figure out what you did wrong and learn. | ||
| And it is a vehicle for developing your whole life. | ||
| All martial arts are. | ||
| When you get through difficult things, a lot of people never physically get pushed. | ||
| They don't. | ||
| They don't understand what it feels like. | ||
| They don't understand what it's like to really exert yourself and to try hard and to grow and accomplish. | ||
| To accomplish something, to learn some new techniques, to develop and advance. | ||
| It's so important for everything that you do. | ||
| When you get really good at something as difficult as jujitsu, it makes everything in your life better. | ||
| And when we say anybody can do it, that's not a sales pitch. | ||
| Anybody can do it. | ||
| Little girls, little five-year-old, six-year-old girls do jujitsu. | ||
| Old ladies do jujitsu. | ||
| Anybody can do it. | ||
| Contrary to popular belief, you go to jujitsu school, it's not these barbaric animals that want to rip your arm off. | ||
| It's the opposite. | ||
| Mostly nerds. | ||
| Yeah, it's mostly computer nerds. | ||
| Our classes are mostly computer nerds who will kill you. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Computer nerds that are addicted to gaming. | ||
| Like Cade. | ||
| If you didn't know Cade, you look at Cade, Cade Nelson. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's... | |
| Wicked! | ||
| His jiu-jitsu's wicked, and he's a very small guy. | ||
| He's like 140 pounds at the most, right? | ||
| He's not a big guy. | ||
| He's 130. Black belt. | ||
| Nasty technique. | ||
| Nasty technique. | ||
| But if you look at him, he's like all skin and bones, man. | ||
| He's the nicest guy on the planet. | ||
| Nicest guy. | ||
| You know, it's totally not a bunch of... | ||
| Killers who just, you know, literally, yes, you learn jiu-jitsu, you are learning how to kill people, but... | ||
| They're not animals, they're not mean people. | ||
| They're like really cool, nice folks, you know, like so many of them. | ||
| Like Brent, you know, you look at Brent, like, what a nice-looking guy. | ||
| Like, seems like just a normal, real friendly, nice to everybody. | ||
| Check your fucking lights out. | ||
| The sport itself? | ||
| What's going on, what makes it so much fun is a filter for douchebags. | ||
| Because in the sport of jiu-jitsu, the game plan is to tap someone out. | ||
| To put someone in a position in a choke hold or an arm bar. | ||
| None of it hurts. | ||
| You just tap out when you feel like you can't get out. | ||
| You tap out, give up, and then the guy lets go of the hole. | ||
| So that's like a kill for you. | ||
| No one got hurt, but you tapped out, you couldn't get out. | ||
| Douchebags can't They can't walk through the fire, those beginning stages where they're getting tapped out, they're losing the game, because they take it too personally. | ||
| Everybody has an ego, but douchebags have the biggest egos, so they can't go into jiu-jitsu and go through the learning phases where they're losing, where they're tapping out, losing a game of death. | ||
| You know, they can't handle it, so they never even get to jiu-jitsu. | ||
| The only guys that make it through are the guys that have a complete control of their ego, where they tap out in the beginning all the time. | ||
| You're always losing in the beginning. | ||
| You're just tapping out. | ||
| It doesn't hurt. | ||
| You're tapping out. | ||
| But your ego can get bruised if you don't have control of it. | ||
| So what ends up happening is jujitsu is the ultimate douchebag filter. | ||
| You're left with a bunch of guys that had no problem tapping out and no problem submitting. | ||
| No problem dealing with reality. | ||
| Because the reality is every dickhead wants to think that he's the fucking man. | ||
| Every guy wants to think that, you know, there's so many guys like, bro, if I got into M&A, I'm going to tell you right now. | ||
| I'm not into that MMA, but if I get anywhere, I'll fucking be running shit. | ||
| Fuck GSP. I'm a natural-born fighter. | ||
| There's some dudes who just natural... | ||
| And those guys, they can't handle jiu-jitsu because some little K-dude will choke their fucking lights out. | ||
| And that's also why those guys are scared of weed. | ||
| Holla! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Especially edibles. | ||
| Edibles expose your douchiness as well. | ||
| Meanwhile, edibles are the best things to roll on. | ||
| I don't like edibles. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Because you just never know how much TH you're getting. | ||
| We talked about this before. | ||
| You still don't know that either. | ||
| Lately, I've been on a good roll with these trips. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just like a couple puffs before I teach and I'm all good. | ||
| I don't need to get crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You guys ever try the gold mist? | |
| No. | ||
| A mist? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like a breath thing. | |
| You tried it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How was it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pretty good. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| But eventually they're going to have like fucking filtration systems and air conditioning where you come into work and just get high. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What about the new vapor pens? | |
| What is that? | ||
| Oh, like old school, like they look like those magic cigarettes? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, the cigarettes. | |
| Yeah, electronic cigarettes, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, they're like soaked in THC and there's zero smell. | ||
| Yeah, no smell at all. | ||
| You probably shouldn't talk about that because someday you're going to want to use those in some place. | ||
| Meanwhile, they're monitoring Twitter, these cunts. | ||
| Yeah, I used to have the electronic ones, but they weren't accurate. | ||
| It seemed like you just suck on them for a while and you're like, I'm not getting anything. | ||
| This is bullshit. | ||
| Eventually, this is all going to be legal. | ||
| We're battling it right now. | ||
| Here's some crazy shit that was on MSNBC. MSNBC.com. | ||
| It's from Reuters.com. | ||
| In London, these scientists did these studies on people tripping on magic mushrooms, and it's given them the best picture yet of how psychedelic drugs work, and these British scientists are saying the findings suggest that such drugs could be used to treat depression. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| Yeah, I mean, it's amazing. | ||
| This is all becoming mainstream shit, one after the other. | ||
| Over and over and over again, there's these studies that are coming to light now that are suggesting that all these different drugs, ketamine, they're saying that ketamine can be used as an instant cure for depression. | ||
| And one of the reasons why kids get addicted to ketamine is the first thing that ketamine does is alleviate all your worries. | ||
| Like, that's one of the reasons why people are doing it. | ||
| So now they're suggesting that ketamine can be used as some sort of an antidepressant, as some sort of an instant antidepressant quality, as well as psilocybin. | ||
| Two separate studies, the effects of psilocybin, the active ingredient in magic mushrooms showed that contrary to scientists' expectations, which of course is based on propaganda, It does not increase, but rather suppress activity in areas of the brain that are also dampened with other antidepressant treatments. | ||
| So they don't even understand it. | ||
| It's like they're saying that psychedelics are thought of as mind-expanding drugs, so it's kind of been assumed that they work by increasing the brain's activity, but they don't. | ||
| Surprisingly, they found that psilocybin actually causes the activity to decrease in areas that have the densest connections with other areas. | ||
| So they don't know what the fuck is going on. | ||
| So that makes sense, though. | ||
| So it quiets your brain down so that you could have an outer body experience. | ||
| That makes sense to me. | ||
| Sort of. | ||
| Less activity. | ||
| Less activity. | ||
| Just like when you meditate. | ||
| You meditate. | ||
| You know, people are addicted to meditation because, you know, if you could just think about one thought, like a water drop or whatever, you get into that zone. | ||
| You know, people... | ||
| That zone is the frequency of the universe. | ||
| That's where everyone's trying to get. | ||
| They're trying to get that. | ||
| And you do it by just thinking about one thing. | ||
| So that makes sense. | ||
| You're quieting your brain, removing all negativity. | ||
| You're thinking about one thing, and it aligns you with the universe. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| No one knows exactly what it's doing. | ||
| It might just be facilitating evolution. | ||
| It might just be giving you a better way of thinking because it empowers the mind. | ||
| That's my hypothesis. | ||
| The universe is at one frequency. | ||
| That's science. | ||
| So it makes sense that we should try to get to that frequency. | ||
| If the universe is at a frequency, one frequency, all throughout the universe, we know that. | ||
| What's this frequency you're talking about? | ||
| The whole universe is at a frequency. | ||
| Like one frequency. | ||
| And that was in the debate between creationism and evolution. | ||
| That was the strong point right there. | ||
| So science proved that the whole universe is at one frequency. | ||
| So the creationists are saying, see, that's proof of God. | ||
| That's proof of intelligent design. | ||
| How could the whole universe by accident be at one frequency? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's frequency mean though? | |
| I don't know exactly, you know, but it's like the frequency. | ||
| Like, what is the frequency of smoking, man? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That shit is so gross, dude. | ||
| Goddamn. | ||
| What do you put a fan on or something? | ||
| The frequency is, like, what's a frequency of a vibration? | ||
| Yeah, it's a vibration. | ||
| What frequency do cigarettes give off? | ||
| Dude, that's like fucking 93.4. | ||
| Please, Brian, it's for real, man. | ||
| Unless you got a window open or something, you gotta send your hotbox. | ||
| There's a smoke sucker over there. | ||
| That shit ain't doing nothing, man. | ||
| No, what I mean by that, like, what's a frequency? | ||
| Like, a radio station is a certain frequency. | ||
| It's a 95.5. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Like, you know it's a frequency. | ||
| And if you turn that dial, bam! | ||
| You need to get that frequency on 95.5 if you want to listen to Kayla West. | ||
| So the pinnacle of science is that they just discovered that the whole universe is one frequency. | ||
| I don't know what number that is, but it's a certain frequency. | ||
| In music, you've got to be on the same frequency or you've got to be on frequencies that harmonize with that frequency. | ||
| So it makes sense. | ||
| To me, it makes sense that if the whole universe... | ||
| But the science is saying, No, it doesn't prove intelligent design because we are finding that we're not in just one universe. | ||
| There's a multiverse. | ||
| There's endless universes and each one is at a different frequency, so that doesn't prove any intelligent design. | ||
| I don't really give a shit about that argument. | ||
| But to me, it makes sense. | ||
| We're trying to get on the frequency of the universe. | ||
| I'm glad it makes sense to you because I have no idea still. | ||
| And I'm like Googling. | ||
| We're trying to get on the radio station of the universe. | ||
| And meditation and yoga. | ||
| This is my hypothesis. | ||
| This is my guess. | ||
| Is that yoga and meditation, unconditional love, sex, certain drugs will get you in the frequency of the universe actually. | ||
| If you love the man, what about dog sex? | ||
| What about you fucking donkey? | ||
| It's the same frequency. | ||
| Is it the same frequency? | ||
| Have you felt it yet, Joe? | ||
| I'm saying, the only thing I'm seeing here is from God-like productions, which right away you go, um, okay. | ||
| And what they're saying is that all beings in the universe connect through a single frequency. | ||
| And there's a bunch of videos, I guess, that you have to watch to understand what they're trying to say. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Makes sense to me. | ||
| I looked up and it says it's a song from the Butthole Surfers. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I bet it's a good song. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, no one knows what the fuck's going on when you're on mushrooms. | ||
| It's certainly something that should be studied, though. | ||
| And that's what I think is missing in, you know, in people's ideas of mushrooms. | ||
| Everybody's got this propaganda-based opinion on it. | ||
| Everybody thinks it's bad for you. | ||
| I mean, I remember I had this conversation with Michio Kaku once when we were on the Opie and Anthony show, and I suggested, you know, I asked him if he's ever done mushrooms. | ||
| And, you know, he asked, like I said, like, hey, you know, you ever smoke crack? | ||
| You ever do meth? | ||
| You know, it's like... | ||
| To a lot of people, that's like the same thing. | ||
| Like you say, you do mushrooms, and they don't want to mess up their brain. | ||
| But so much insight, so many different people have come up with insights because directly related to psychedelic experiments. | ||
| And I don't know if it's true, but the rumor was that Francis Crick, when he was dying, admitted, you know, that he was a frequent user of LSD, and that's how he came up with the idea, the concept of the double helix of DNA, you know, that he came up with it under the influence of LSD. There's been a bunch of, | ||
| I think the guy's name was Kerry, another guy, I came up with other insights on LSD and it's been geneticists and different people that have done ayahuasca that have had weird ideas and, you know, expanded on these ideas that came directly as a result of psychedelic experiences. | ||
| Who knows what it is, man? | ||
| I don't know, but it would be awesome if they allowed people to fucking study it instead of lock you in a fucking cage for experiencing something that's been here a lot longer than people have, you know? | ||
| So stupid. | ||
| We have a bunch of stupid people. | ||
| You were talking before this happened about the presidential debates. | ||
| Watching Newt Gingrich is hilarious. | ||
| How is he even in the presidential race? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That guy doesn't... | |
| Him and Mitt Romney are arguing about, because they both made money off the economy going to shit based on their investments. | ||
| And they both did, but they were arguing live on TV, on CNN, about who invested more. | ||
| And that alone should tell people they're both full of shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, he just lost. | ||
| He came in second place in Florida. | ||
| Can you imagine if Newt Gingrich is the president? | ||
| Well, Mitt Romney. | ||
| You see that video where Mitt Romney met with that kid who had cerebral palsy and he uses marijuana? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he said, why don't you? | ||
| He's like, he wouldn't even answer him. | ||
| He wouldn't even answer him. | ||
| He said, would you put me in jail? | ||
| He said, well, you could try synthetic marijuana. | ||
| Synthetic marijuana. | ||
| He was suggesting that that was a good idea. | ||
| That I'm not for medical marijuana. | ||
| I've told you I'm not for it. | ||
| Like, you're not for it. | ||
| You're telling for why? | ||
| Why? | ||
| For what reason? | ||
| Under what reason? | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because you're a whore. | ||
| Because all these goddamn companies that get you into the position that you're in right now tell you that that's the stance that you should take. | ||
| Did you see that video of all of Mitt Romney's flipping and flopping? | ||
| There's an awesome YouTube video. | ||
| He's gross. | ||
| He's a Mormon, man. | ||
| Not that there's anything wrong with being a Mormon, but when you're a Mormon, you're not allowed to run the presidency. | ||
| You're not allowed to run the country. | ||
| You're just not. | ||
| You're not allowed any wacky religion. | ||
| If you're a super Catholic... | ||
| And I know JFK was a Catholic and everything like that, but this is with different times. | ||
| It's 2012. You know, really? | ||
| You believe that Joseph Smith, a 14-year-old kid that lived in 1820, found golden tablets that represented the lost work of Jesus? | ||
| The guy was a con man, a known con man. | ||
| He said he found a stone, and a secret stone, and he looked through this stone, and he could read the lost works of Jesus. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What language was that in? | |
| Goofball. | ||
| It's just fucking amazing. | ||
| I have friends of friends that are Mormons that I know. | ||
| They're very nice people. | ||
| It's one of the nicest religions. | ||
| What it gives them that's great is a great sense of community. | ||
| I've been to Mormon churches before. | ||
| They have a really nice sense of community. | ||
| They're very nice to each other. | ||
| And they really promote that. | ||
| They promote that feeling of family and that positive frequency. | ||
| And it really makes a difference, man. | ||
| I was at a Mormon funeral recently, and these people, man, they really believed that this guy was in a better place, and it really helped them that their loved one had passed on into a better place. | ||
| It really did, and I really support that. | ||
| I think that's awesome. | ||
| But that's just because the ideology happens to be in a good frequency. | ||
| But if you break down what the ideology stands for, it's ludicrous. | ||
| It's absolutely ridiculous. | ||
| It's absolutely doing some good for some of these people, but so would just being nice. | ||
| It would do the exact same thing. | ||
| So would just being humble and giving in to love and just being nice to people. | ||
| You don't need some wacky shit that was made by a con man, a 14-year-old con man. | ||
| Who found golden tablets. | ||
| And then when the people came to him, I'm like, where are these tablets? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He goes, oh, the angels took them away. | |
| The angels took the... | ||
| It's like, you know, it's such a dumb story. | ||
| It's such a terrible story. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, to me, growing up, I despised all religions, I thought. | ||
| I thought it was all just crap and just destroying society. | ||
| But as I get older, I, for me, my opinion on religions is if you do it right, if it's based on unconditional love and doing the right thing, different religions are just like, it's a way to get your soul in the right frequency. | ||
| There's different ways to get your body physically, like there's Kettlebells, and then there's some people like to just run, some people like to swim. | ||
| All different ways to get your body aligned. | ||
| And I think all religions, as long as you do it right, whether it's Muslim or whatever, Catholicism, like my grandma, she did it right. | ||
| All she cared about was doing things for others. | ||
| And she was hardcore Catholic, went to church every day. | ||
| That was her exercise of the soul. | ||
| That is what got her frequency in the right place. | ||
| Some people do yoga. | ||
| Some people meditate. | ||
| Some people, you know, believe this. | ||
| Some people worship rocks. | ||
| If you really believe rock, the rock is the frequency of the universe and it gets your soul in the right place, I'm all for it now. | ||
| Yeah, it's an idea of just believing in something and then having a code that you live by and moving your life always in a positive way. | ||
| And that's good, no matter what you call it. | ||
| Whether you call it Hindu, whether you call it Kundalini Yoga, whether you call it Catholicism. | ||
| If you're really moving in a positive direction and you really believe in love and you really... | ||
| The idea of giving in to a higher power is not because God wants you to be humble or God wants you to be in awe of his greatness. | ||
| What it is is saying there's something above you, so not taking yourself so fucking seriously and instead not being out for number one. | ||
| And sort of realizing that we are together, like, there is a brotherhood and a sisterhood of man. | ||
| You know, that's really what it's supposed to be all about. | ||
| That's the good of religion. | ||
| And that's where I've seen religion help people, for sure. | ||
| And I was just like you growing up, man. | ||
| It was both of us, it was the same reason. | ||
| Because we had seen the system fail us. | ||
| We had seen all these people that were supposed to be correct and these people that were supposed to be adults. | ||
| We saw they were retarded. | ||
| We saw they were assholes. | ||
| We saw that it was all bullshit. | ||
| We saw that religion was being used negatively a lot of the time and there was a lot of guilt and there was a lot of yelling at you and there was a lot of nonsense. | ||
| So we just trashed all religion. | ||
| I would never, if my grandmother was still alive, I would never try to knock some sense into her and try to prove that the Bible was written by a man. | ||
| It worked for her. | ||
| That was her kettlebells right there for her soul. | ||
| It worked for her. | ||
| That's the way I look at it now. | ||
| I think religion is, if you do it right and... | ||
| You always look to do the right thing. | ||
| Life is all about selflessness and unconditional love. | ||
| And what people don't understand is that benefits you, man. | ||
| You can do that and do it in a selfish way. | ||
| I mean, it sounds stupid, but if you're a selfish person, you really want to succeed, you really want good things for you, you want to do it selfishly, be nice to everybody. | ||
| That's the best way to get ahead. | ||
| The best way to get ahead is just... | ||
| Be nice to everybody. | ||
| Tip people whenever you can. | ||
| Tip more than you're supposed to tip. | ||
| Give people hugs when you can. | ||
| Be nice to people all the time. | ||
| When you put out that good energy, you get good energy back. | ||
| You can almost think of it like people are like, I'm looking out for number one. | ||
| You really want to look out for number one? | ||
| Look out for everybody else. | ||
| Look out for everybody else. | ||
| That's how you really look out for number one. | ||
| I've had the most benefit in my life by being nice to people. | ||
| The most benefit in my life by being generous and being friendly and being warm. | ||
| And every time I've not been that, it's always fucked me. | ||
| And when I run into someone, especially now at this stage of my life when I've had my own personal revelations and my own successes and failures and I've kind of assessed what helps me and what doesn't help me. | ||
| When I run into someone that's life is a mess, when I run into someone that's got a lot of troubles, goddammit if it's not a big chunk of what the fuck got them there is the way they think about things, the way they behave about things, the way they take a cigarette and fucking throw it in the street. | ||
| You don't realize why your life is kind of shit while you're littering everywhere? | ||
| You're not putting out good energy while you're throwing your fucking McDonald's bag out the window because no one's looking. | ||
| You're being a cunt. | ||
| You're fucking up, man. | ||
| You're ruining space. | ||
| You're sending out bad things. | ||
| When you fuck somebody over in a business deal, you're like, well, I profited. | ||
| Hey, it's a dog-eat-dog world. | ||
| Bullshit. | ||
| You just put out some negative shit and it's going to come back at you, man. | ||
| That guy hates you. | ||
| Those people you fucked over in that bad development deal or whatever the hell you did wrong, those people don't like you now. | ||
| They hate you and that's going to come your way. | ||
| Do nice things and nice things come from it, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Think, talk, and act. | |
| Always. | ||
| Think, talk, and act, man. | ||
| That's the best way to end this bitch, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Let's wrap this motherfucker up. | ||
| So, San Francisco, if you're down, if you're down to get your shit together, if you're down to learn, The ancient martial art of jiu-jitsu. | ||
| If you're down to have a vehicle for developing your human potential, go to 10th Planet Jiu-Jitsu San Francisco or JJ? 10th Planet Jiu-Jitsu SF. Jiu-Jitsu, full word. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| 10th Planet J-I-U J-I-T-S-U SF. Go there. | ||
| You should probably have a shorter version of that, too. | ||
| Well, you could just go to... | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's also no GiJuJitsuSF.com. | |
| If you go to 10thPlanetJJ, it shows you everywhere. | ||
| 10thPlanetJJ.com. | ||
| And there's how many affiliates? | ||
| Click locations. | ||
| We got over 30 worldwide. | ||
| 30! | ||
| Melbourne, Rochester, Victoria, Canada. | ||
| Portland, Spokane, Montreal. | ||
| And by the way, if there's no one near you and you want to learn 10th Planet Systems, you can still go to 10thPlanetJJ.com and you can learn from the videos that are available in the database. | ||
| You could literally see all the lessons that we're learning in class in San Francisco. | ||
| Eddie puts those up there. | ||
| You just have to pay a small monthly fee. | ||
| $4.99, just like we were talking about before. | ||
| Perfect. | ||
| I could have charged $30 or $25. | ||
| A lot of people are. | ||
| I just wanted just a little bit. | ||
| I wanted to charge... | ||
| For bandwidth, keep your website going. | ||
| I gotta charge a little bit. | ||
| $4.99 a month for the entire 10th Planet system at your fingertips. | ||
| And there's also DVDs available. | ||
| Tell them about the DVDs and where they can get those. | ||
| You just go to 10thplanetjj.com. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| All my shit's there. | ||
| The books, the DVDs. | ||
| And if there's not a 10th Planet school near you, just go to any Brazilian jiu-jitsu school. | ||
| Any school. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| You know, if the guy's a douchebag, find another school or whatever. | ||
| But it's... | ||
| Any jujitsu is better than no jujitsu. | ||
| It's a good thing to have the skill to protect your family, to protect your loved ones by being an expert at scientifically subduing someone and putting them to sleep non-violently and getting the hell out and getting to safety. | ||
| And it's a fun way to exercise, man. | ||
| A lot of people don't like going to the gym and just riding a bike. | ||
| It's fucking boring, you know? | ||
| And a lot of people can't motivate themselves to do that. | ||
| Jiu-Jitsu will motivate you to do it. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| So 10thplanetjj.com. | ||
| All your information. | ||
| All your information. | ||
| Get it. | ||
| Go get yourself some skills, son. | ||
| Learning! | ||
| This Friday, House of Blues in Vegas, Joey Diaz, Duncan Trussell, and me. | ||
| Almost sold out. | ||
| There's only a few tickets left, so jump on that shit. | ||
| Go to my Facebook page. | ||
| H-O-B.com. | ||
| H-O-B.com. | ||
| That's the best way. | ||
| I got some seminars real quick. | ||
| Seminars. | ||
| Omaha, February 11th. | ||
| Michigan, February 18th. | ||
| Is all this on 10thplanetjj.com? | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| So if you can't remember it, just go there. | ||
| And Danny's doing a... | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Ultimate NYC Absolute in New York. | |
| There's going to be... | ||
| February what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
February 25th. | |
| All the top guys make a riot hall. | ||
| February 25th. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where the hell am I? They're mixing 29, 35, 49, and 162, and we're all meeting at 155. It's like a mini Abu Dhabi, dude. | |
| It's not even a mini. | ||
| It's like just as good as Abu Dhabi. | ||
| Damn, I'm gonna be in Japan. | ||
| Ah, yes. | ||
| Like a motherfucker. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jake's fighting on that card. | |
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He's fighting Nakayama, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, man. | |
| Ooh, exciting. | ||
| That's a good fight. | ||
| Stand-up going good? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, dude. | |
| Jake's always getting better, man. | ||
| You know, he's a hard worker, dude. | ||
| I've been working with him. | ||
| I got to train with him last week. | ||
| Dude, he looks awesome. | ||
| Stand-up is getting better? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stand-up's getting better. | |
| I think all of his skills are getting better. | ||
| His wrestling, his jiu-jitsu, his stand-up, everything. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| I love Jake. | ||
| He's a good dude. | ||
| Alright, thanks everybody. | ||
| Thanks to Fleshlight for sponsoring the podcast and they were the first sponsor and we will always be loyal to them as much as people give a shit about it. | ||
| Oh, I should probably say something about this Fear Factor thing. | ||
| Yeah, Fear Factor got pulled off the air. | ||
| We were supposed to have an episode where contestants drank donkey semen and donkey urine. | ||
| Apparently... | ||
| Apparently folks think it's too much. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| After we did it, I'm going to be honest with you guys. | ||
| I haven't told anybody this, but I think I got high with you after it was over that day. | ||
| And I remember thinking, I might have told you, but I think we fucked up, man. | ||
| I think we went too far. | ||
| It just seemed wrong, man. | ||
| I'm like, people are not going to like this. | ||
| This is going to make people angry. | ||
| Whatever, man. | ||
| Somebody signed off on it, and then apparently the backlash was crazy. | ||
| So they shut down Fear Factor all together. | ||
| Oh, the episode. | ||
| They pulled the episode. | ||
| And there's one episode that's going to air February 12th. | ||
| It's our next one. | ||
| And there's one other two-hour episode that's going to air sometime after that. | ||
| They haven't figured out when. | ||
| That's perfect. | ||
| Put it on the DVD. No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| I think it's never going to go anywhere. | ||
| It's going to be buried, and they'll never do it again. | ||
| They went too far. | ||
| Are they showing throw up now? | ||
| No, not really. | ||
| But the stunts are so much bigger now. | ||
| The show is so much bigger and crazier that they tried to push everything. | ||
| I just think they went too far. | ||
| I think it was nutty. | ||
| I definitely don't think they went too far. | ||
| I know, exactly. | ||
| Everybody has their own standards. | ||
| I just don't think that it's fair to ask people to do that. | ||
| It sounds ridiculous coming from me. | ||
| Well, they don't have to do it. | ||
| I know, they don't have to, but I mean, to ask them to do it, I think. | ||
| It would have been cool if everybody said, go fuck yourself, and then we had to, like, scrap the stunt. | ||
| It would have been funny. | ||
| Have you had that happen yet? | ||
| No, but that would have been a good time, you know? | ||
| But, you know, I think it was way easier for girls to do than guys, you know, obviously. | ||
| But, uh... | ||
| I mean, for real, girls were even joking around about it. | ||
| It was way easier for them. | ||
| Spitting it on their chest and rubbing it in. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Brian, that's your world. | ||
| You live in a dark world. | ||
| So, look, I'm sure if we had to go back in time, they wouldn't do it again. | ||
| And the only way you find the limits of these things is you push them. | ||
| I think it was a mistake. | ||
| So it's over, and it'll probably never see the light of day. | ||
| Or five years from now, it'll air, because there's no way they would have considered doing it five years ago when Fear Factor went through its first run. | ||
| I mean, in season one, it was so tame and calm and easy and small compared to what it's like now. | ||
| Now it's just ridiculous. | ||
| The stunts are huge and crazy and explosions and nuts. | ||
| Who knows if they'll ever show that again. | ||
| I'd rather they not. | ||
| I think people shouldn't have to do that. | ||
| I think it's too much. | ||
| They fucked up, but, you know, whatever. | ||
| We learn. | ||
| Kill the show. | ||
| Kill the episode, and we'll march on, because we've got some good episodes coming up. | ||
| It's a way better show than it ever was before. | ||
| I hope this doesn't fuck it up for everything else, but I think everybody realizes that it was a mistake, including NBC, and they wanted to push things, and Just, you know, you don't find out how bad things are until you get people's reactions. | ||
| And that's the reaction. | ||
| Whoopsies! | ||
| We're sorry! | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| So that's it. | ||
| So I've commented on that. | ||
| So go to... | ||
| Oh, Pasadena. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's the other thing. | |
| Pasadena. | ||
| Thursday night, right here, 10 p.m.? | ||
| Thursday night, it's at 8.30. | ||
| 8.30, perfect. | ||
| And if Friday's at 10, go to icehousecomedy.com. | ||
| Thursday, 8.30 p.m. | ||
| Me, Joe Diaz, Lil'Ester, Brian Redband, and who knows who else. | ||
| And we'll also have... | ||
| The Ice House Chronicles podcast, which is only available on Death Squad on iTunes. | ||
| Subscribe to Death Squad. | ||
| It is free, as of all our podcasts are. | ||
| And you can get... | ||
| There's a gang of podcasts there. | ||
| There's Sam Tripoli's Naughty Show. | ||
| There's Tom Segura and Christina Pazitsky's Your Mom's House. | ||
| Brian Cowan's new one. | ||
| But check out the Too Short Naughty Show. | ||
| I may put it up later tonight. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Okay, and also... | ||
| What was the other one that you got? | ||
| Oh, Ice House Chronicles. | ||
| And the Ice House Chronicles, of course, all of them free. | ||
| So thank you to The Fleshlight for allowing us to keep all this shit for free. | ||
| Go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link for The Fleshlight, enter in the code name Rogan, get yourself 15% off, a nice little dick toy. | ||
| And also, thanks to Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, makers of Alpha Brain, makers of Shroom Tech Sport, Shroom Tech Immune, and New Mood, the 5-HTP supplement. | ||
| Thanks to everybody for tuning in to this podcast. | ||
| Because without you guys, it would be fucking a strange world. | ||
| Life has changed considerably for all of us because of this podcast. | ||
| And we put a voice out there that didn't exist before. | ||
| And I think for us, and I think for you guys, we found you guys, and you guys found us. | ||
| And who would have known, right? | ||
| Who would have known that there would have been a podcast... | ||
| There's been an audience for a podcast like this. | ||
| We, most of the time, thought they were just a bunch of assholes sitting around talking about stupid shit while we're high. | ||
| Literally did we know that the world is filled with assholes that wanted to hear that kind of shit. | ||
| So it's awesome for us as much as it's awesome for you. | ||
| We love you all, and thanks for tuning in. | ||
| And we'll see you probably tomorrow. | ||
| I got an idea for tomorrow. | ||
| And then Thursday, too. |
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