Dec. 13, 2011 - The Joe Rogan Experience
01:26:44
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
Hypnotize Hypnotize What? | |
| What? | ||
| Hello? | ||
| Ha! | ||
| Sicker than your average pop of twist cabbage off instinct niggas don't think shits do pink gators. | ||
| My Detroit players transform my hooligans in Brooklyn. | ||
| Dead right if they head right. | ||
| Siri there every night. | ||
| Papa been smooth since days of underloose. | ||
| Never lose. | ||
| Never choose to. | ||
| Choose crews who do something to us. | ||
| Talk to us. | ||
| Girls love to us. | ||
| Wanna do us? | ||
| Screw us, who us? | ||
| Yeah, Papa and Papa roasts like Starsky and Hutch. | ||
| Stick the clutch. | ||
| Dare I squeeze three at your cherry M3? Bang every MC easily. | ||
| recently niggas sprinting ain't saying nothing. | ||
| So I just keep my peace keep my peace Cubans with the Jesus peace with my peace. | ||
| Test test test test. | ||
| There we go. | ||
| Is that something that someone did actually with Siri? | ||
| It's hacked. | ||
| Somebody hacked their iPhone. | ||
| You can tell when he opens it and closes his phone, it has a weird look to it, so I think somebody just, you know... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, they do that? | |
| They do that? | ||
| They root iPhones as well? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I didn't know that people were hacking into iPhones. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| I think there's, like, websites you can just go to, and it's just where you... | ||
| What looks hacked about that? | ||
| That looks like just an iPhone. | ||
| Oh, let me see. | ||
| I guess not. | ||
| I thought those icons on the two top were something, but that looks like SoundCloud. | ||
| Yeah, that looks like a normal iPhone. | ||
| Well, I think that's the only way you could possibly do it. | ||
| I think that has to be a hacked iPhone. | ||
| Or the whole thing is fake. | ||
| I think the whole thing is much more likely fake. | ||
| Because there's one thing I noticed at the very end of this video, which you can find on Vimeo, it says something different than she says on the writing here. | ||
| So maybe this writing part was just Final Cut Pro or something. | ||
| Well, it says Siri, Siri, Siri, can't you see, too. | ||
| I mean, did someone type that in? | ||
| You know, what is that? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's definitely not Siri. | ||
| They definitely did it. | ||
| They either faked the video or they rooted their iPhone. | ||
| But I think it's probably more fake the video. | ||
| That's like a big thing with the Android people, man. | ||
| Android, that's the one thing that they love about it, the fact that you can do that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dudes who get into Android, they're like, dudes who are really into fucking Unix and shit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, they're like, rooting things. | ||
| I'm a Linux contributor. | ||
| Dude, we forgot to record the video blog again. | ||
| Yeah, we keep forgetting. | ||
| Sorry, folks. | ||
| Sorry, he had to go, though. | ||
| He really did have to go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| Did have to leave. | ||
| That was a fascinating guy though, wasn't he? | ||
| Yeah, that was really interesting and it definitely was shit that I've already thought about before. | ||
| It's kind of interesting to hear it from somebody that has some cred. | ||
| I think as you get older in life and you have a certain amount of experiences and you sort of learn Yeah. | ||
| that I ever had, you know, he just comes out and says, yes, it does, yes. | ||
| Your mind, your consciousness controls everything. | ||
| Your environment controls how the genes are made. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The fuck? | ||
| By the way, dude, Fear Factor last night. | ||
| It was so great to see it. | ||
| I forgot how much I missed it. | ||
| I've watched every single episode, even to the very end. | ||
| I watched it, and it wasn't because of you or anything. | ||
| That was a show that I thought was always fun to cringe at. | ||
| You had more emotion of just sitting there with a blank look, staring at a TV. You're actually like, I'm just like, ugh! | ||
| It freaks you out a little bit better than most shows. | ||
| So last night, it was awesome seeing it take it to the next level, especially HD, I thought was so awesome. | ||
| You could actually see the bugs, intestines, and stuff like that in more detail, and the explosions, of course. | ||
| The explosions, for sure. | ||
| Sound editing on that show is awesome. | ||
| The editors are badass. | ||
| It was very surreal watching it. | ||
| Very surreal. | ||
| It's just strange. | ||
| The whole thing was strange. | ||
| Strange to live it, and strange to do it again, and strange to see it on TV again. | ||
| I fucking never thought I would be doing that show again. | ||
| I never thought, how could it happen? | ||
| This is just a chapter in my life, and I've moved past that now, and then to do it again. | ||
| But I enjoyed it, man. | ||
| I really did. | ||
| I thought it was fun. | ||
| I thought it was a fun fucking show. | ||
| Was that mom and son thing real? | ||
| Oh yeah, it's all real. | ||
| That was disturbing. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Well, you know what? | ||
| The casting, my boy Rich really knows how to fucking bring these people in. | ||
| They know how to pick them, man. | ||
| At this point in time, too, there's so many people that want to do any sort of a reality show that you can find some real characters, man. | ||
| You can find some... | ||
| That one character, the guy that was like a self-motivator guy with the hot blonde shit. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He didn't know how to swim and he just left her drowning in the middle of the water. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was sad. | |
| I felt bad for that girl. | ||
| I felt bad that she didn't know how to swim and she tried to do that. | ||
| She wanted to win and she thought maybe once she got in there she would figure out how to do it, but she didn't know how to swim. | ||
| That was disturbing. | ||
| They had to rescue her. | ||
| It's weird you guys didn't see it. | ||
| I think they had an idea. | ||
| I think they had a plan. | ||
| I think the plan was he said, I know you don't know how to swim, but I'll carry you. | ||
| I don't think you realize how hard that is to do. | ||
| It's really hard to do. | ||
| And you swim slow as fuck when you're doing that. | ||
| You can't just swim when you're carrying someone's body. | ||
| It takes a long time. | ||
| It takes more than twice the time. | ||
| She was pulling him down, and he was panicking, so he left her out there. | ||
| It's weird thinking not being able to swim. | ||
| You should not be a grown adult. | ||
| That should be something that they have to teach you in third grade, and you have to pass a test. | ||
| Apparently, she didn't grow up in the best neighborhood. | ||
| She wasn't happy about it, obviously. | ||
| She grew up in Vegas, right? | ||
| That hot chick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Did she? | ||
| She grew up in that Mandalay Bay. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| She's so hot. | ||
| She was so hot, that chick. | ||
| She was very pretty. | ||
| I wonder if she was like his friend and they came on like as a... | ||
| He hired her. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That seems like it makes more sense. | ||
| Yeah, it's very possible. | ||
| And then she just agreed to get on. | ||
| I mean, why not? | ||
| Why not just say, you know, say it's my boyfriend. | ||
| I would do that. | ||
| You want to get on Couples Fear Factor together? | ||
| Do we have to be couples? | ||
| Yeah, we just pretend. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| That's why he left her in the water. | ||
| That makes 100% sense, right? | ||
| You would never leave your girl in the water. | ||
| Well, if you thought you were drowning, if you thought someone would rescue her, if you separated, you might separate. | ||
| But you would say something, save her. | ||
| You would say, save her. | ||
| That's what I would say. | ||
| I would say, if I knew that I couldn't rescue her... | ||
| First of all, if someone does not swim at all, and they're flailing around, they can drag you under. | ||
| You have to get them to relax. | ||
| So you have to be fucking good at that. | ||
| That's not an easy thing to do. | ||
| Just start kissing them, right? | ||
| And then they get in the couple's embrace? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Suck a finger and put it right in their pooper. | |
| Calm them down. | ||
| Like when you got a good hold of their pooper. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Especially the thumb. | ||
| You press the thumb on the coccyx. | ||
| Is that a... | ||
| I just wanted to say coxics. | ||
| And it was also so weird seeing, because it was all ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriends, which I thought was a great idea for casting-wise. | ||
| But it was weird seeing that one guy that there was a guy and this girl that was fake boobs. | ||
| I think she had fake boobs, but kind of a weird body, a hot, older body. | ||
| And he just fucking with her. | ||
| She controlled the whole relationship. | ||
| It was weird seeing, like, why people broke up, probably, because she was, like, you know, he was, yes, ma'am, yes, ma'am. | ||
| I don't know if you remember that guy that, like, he pretty much took orders from her the whole time during Fear Factor. | ||
| Yes, yeah, totally. | ||
| Yeah, so you can kind of see why, like, the relationships, like, ended. | ||
| You know, like, it was so interesting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| That's why they chose those people. | ||
| They chose them because they knew they would be fascinating to watch. | ||
| It's weird how bad some people's relationships are. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| But there were some people that were fun. | ||
| They had fun relationships. | ||
| Like the one couple, they were exes, but now they're just friends. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Twilight kid and the Team Twilight, that was so fucking hilarious. | |
| And Hard Rider, or Easy Rider. | ||
| But Team Twilight, they were very nice people. | ||
| They were super cool. | ||
| She was gorgeous. | ||
| Yeah, she was really pretty. | ||
| And he was a good looking guy. | ||
| And they were actually friends. | ||
| I mean, it was legit. | ||
| They used to date, and they didn't work out. | ||
| And they both have different girlfriends now, or boyfriends. | ||
| And they're friends. | ||
| They were the healthiest fucking group by far, out of any of them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, the other one's like the fucking easy riders. | ||
| Those guys were fighting like cats and dogs. | ||
| And then the other guy, you felt sorry for that one dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was controlled by his wife. | ||
| His ex. | ||
| It was sad, you know? | ||
| And she would say shit and you'd just go, oh, poor dude. | ||
| He has to just sit there and eat that, you know? | ||
| I couldn't do that with my exes. | ||
| Not most of them, I couldn't. | ||
| You don't want to be in that position. | ||
| Everyone knows that you don't want to be in that disadvantageous position where you are giving in to them all the time. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, you don't want to be there, man. | ||
| You don't want to be there where they're yelling at you. | ||
| You don't want to be there. | ||
| That position sucks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that one guy even was like, you know, like he dropped a cow heart. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think it was. | |
| He dropped a cow heart. | ||
| And you could tell that she was blaming him for losing. | ||
| And then like somebody else dropped it. | ||
| And he goes, yeah, see, look, it was hard to see. | ||
| It was hard to see. | ||
| You know, like it was so sad to see that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's hard. | ||
| It's hard dealing with people like that. | ||
| Not dealing with them, I mean, but being around them and going, hey, you guys are just fucking up each other's lives. | ||
| You need to get the fuck away from her, dude. | ||
| I know you feel like somehow or another you got this connection with her. | ||
| You got to see her to get your kids from her. | ||
| But other than that, stay away because this woman is chopping you down. | ||
| That dude needs a friend. | ||
| When a dude can't get a chick anymore, when a girl is no longer impressed with a guy, when the fucking magic is over, and she is not attracted to the guy at all, that is the worst time you can be around that girl. | ||
| Because she will have you feeling like you are worthless. | ||
| And that will, in turn, it's not going to motivate you, it's going to make you feel like shit, and it's going to probably ruin all these other aspects of your life too. | ||
| So if you're on a regular relationship with someone who treats you like shit, and is not whatsoever attracted to you, that's devastating for you as a person. | ||
| And so while we're around this poor guy, we have to see this. | ||
| You can't blame her. | ||
| You like who you like, man. | ||
| But for him, he's got to get the fuck away, man. | ||
| Run. | ||
| This is your reality you're creating, as Bruce Lipton would tell us. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Speaking of which, man, I have to apologize to Todd Bridges, man. | ||
| I fucked up, and I did this interview, and they always ask you, what was it like, the old fear factor? | ||
| You do 100 interviews, and after a while, you just run out of shit to talk about, and you'll talk about anything. | ||
| And one of the things that came up, we were talking about C-listers that were on the show. | ||
| And I'm going to just read it so there's no mistake whatsoever in what I said. | ||
| The question was, the guy says, I remember it was more C-listers and blasts from the past like Todd Bridges. | ||
| And I said, yeah, he was a really weird one. | ||
| He's an angry dude. | ||
| I think he murdered somebody. | ||
| Did he get away with manslaughter? | ||
| I'm serious. | ||
| You shouldn't print that because I think it says you should print that, but that's not what I said. | ||
| I said you shouldn't print that. | ||
| crack house and wound up killing someone hold on let me fact check right now they actually put the whole thing in me saying hold on let me fact check right now and then I say yeah Todd Bridges attempted murder and attempted voluntary manslaughter charges he shot somebody five gun shots and a knife wound the jury acquitted him though that was 1989 he was 23 years old then I said but yeah I didn't enjoy being He was a weird, angry guy. | ||
| He blamed his losing on the producers like they wanted to get rid of him. | ||
| There's some people who just think that the world is out to get them, and he felt like that in a big way. | ||
| It was interesting from a psychological standpoint. | ||
| One of the reasons why I said this, he got upset at me when he got eliminated from the show and wouldn't believe that he was actually eliminated. | ||
| He believed that they wanted him to get eliminated. | ||
| I went to shake his hand, and he wouldn't even shake my hand. | ||
| He just put his hands back and walked away. | ||
| I was like, this is so fucking childish. | ||
| And then I thought about it. | ||
| I'm like, this poor guy, man. | ||
| He grows up in the limelight on a fucking big show like Different Strokes. | ||
| Try developing on television like that. | ||
| And we've talked about that so many times, like how insane that must be. | ||
| Try developing on television. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So all I did was comment on him like he wasn't a person. | ||
| Comment on him like I wasn't concerned with his feelings that he would listen to it. | ||
| And despite the fact that he was in some sort of a situation at Crack House, this was a long time ago. | ||
| And I don't know him. | ||
| And I just said it, and I shouldn't have said it. | ||
| It's really, you know, whether it's true or not is not the point. | ||
| The point is, there's no reason for me to say it. | ||
| And he's friends with my friend Dave, and my friend Dave and him talked, and he said he's been sober for 19 years, and this upset him. | ||
| And I thought about it, I'm like, who the fuck am I to just randomly bring up some shit about some dude's past that's going to make him feel bad? | ||
| You know, it was not, there was no reason why I should have done it. | ||
| I did it, it was lazy thinking on my part, I should have never done it. | ||
| And I I should have, you know, looked at his life as like one picture. | ||
| I don't know that dude. | ||
| And apparently he's been sober for like 19 years. | ||
| And he does a lot of good things and does interventions and shit. | ||
| So I opened up my mouth when I shouldn't have. | ||
| And I apologize. | ||
| So Todd Bridges, if you're out there, please accept my apology. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| I shouldn't have said that. | ||
| He's right. | ||
| I totally agree. | ||
| I could have totally avoided saying anything about his past or anything about him as a person. | ||
| You know, I get bored sometimes, man, and this is no excuse, but it's true. | ||
| You know, you do 100 interviews about fear factor and stuff like that, you can get psychologically lazy. | ||
| You know, you get sloppy with what you say. | ||
| And as you can see, everything I said there, including don't print that, which actually says, or instead of shouldn't print that, it actually says should print that. | ||
| Most certainly said shouldn't print that because I went into some sort of a... | ||
| I went to fact check that. | ||
| So because of that, they put every single word I said. | ||
| So you get a chance to see my whole thought process on it. | ||
| So I don't know what the fuck happened to him, obviously. | ||
| I wasn't there. | ||
| The guy got acquitted. | ||
| Good. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| I don't hold any ill will towards him, and I feel bad that I brought it up, and I shouldn't have. | ||
| So I apologize. | ||
| You know that the NT and the should and the shouldn't is going to be the new Tower 7 for you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| I swear to God, that's what I said. | ||
| I'm a mumbling fuck. | ||
| You talk to me over the phone, especially with these goofy headsets that I insist on wearing. | ||
| You ever seen those things I have? | ||
| I walk around my house, so I like it because I can talk on the phone and do shit at the same time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Tom Cruise style, but Tom Cruise 1984. Yeah, actually, I've got a cord, and the cord goes directly into the cordless phone. | |
| But it's the best way to do it because the phone's cordless, the phone sticks in my back pocket, it's got a little clip, and I can walk around the house. | ||
| I play pool with them on the phone sometimes. | ||
| Yeah, but that's why Radio Shack is still in business, because of people like you buying those crazy headsets. | ||
| Yeah, get them from Radio Shack. | ||
| You've got to get them from Hello Direct. | ||
| Hello Direct? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Hello Direct is the best company in the world for business phones. | ||
| Hello Direct? | ||
| Yeah, they make big conference phones, and they make really good headsets that you listen to a cordless phone on where it's like real high-end. | ||
| It sounds really good, really strong, but it's expensive equipment. | ||
| But it's expensive because it's really high-end stuff. | ||
| It's really worth it. | ||
| But you know, you can get any fucking headset, man. | ||
| I got a Sony one that was like 30 bucks. | ||
| It's pretty good. | ||
| It's not bad at all, you know? | ||
| Are you sure Hello Direct is not like a home shopping network of Bluetooth accessories? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think they make cell phone. | ||
| I mean, I think they make phone headsets. | ||
| Did John Heffron turn you on to that? | ||
| Am I caught in a pyramid scheme? | ||
| Am I in denial? | ||
| I think that's what that is. | ||
| I found John Heffron. | ||
| He's never tried to rip us off. | ||
| I just want to be clear about that. | ||
| He's a great guy, and he would never do anything dishonest. | ||
| But John Heffron occasionally has these fucking plans. | ||
| We're like, dude, all I have to do is I start this one business in Uganda. | ||
| I give them the keys, and they have money that comes to me for the rest of my life. | ||
| Dude, I'm set. | ||
| He's got this sort of crazy lottery winner scam mentality as far as him wanting to find some one product that really takes off. | ||
| Is it like an Anthony Robbins thing? | ||
| Because I know he's into that shit. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't even know who that guy is. | ||
| You don't know who Anthony Robbins is? | ||
| Google knows it for me. | ||
| If I ever need that information, I just use Google. | ||
| I might know who he is. | ||
| You've never heard of Tony Robbins? | ||
| Tony Robbins. | ||
| You know who Tony Robbins is? | ||
| The motivational speaker guy? | ||
| He's fucking gigantic. | ||
| He's huge. | ||
| No. | ||
| Is he like a Buble? | ||
| Because I just found out about Buble and now he's haunting me. | ||
| Who's Buble? | ||
| Some Buble guy that sings a lot. | ||
| And now, somebody told me, you don't know who Mike Buble is? | ||
| And now, everywhere I go, I tried to buy a bottle of wine last night. | ||
| It was like, oh, you just won a free Buble album. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I don't know who this Buble guy is, but it's just crazy. | ||
| This is a new character? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A new dude? | |
| It seems like it's not. | ||
| I got shamed down because I don't know who Buble is. | ||
| Do you have some music? | ||
| No, you can't even play some music. | ||
| I can't even play a movie. | ||
| We don't want to get sued by the latest and greatest, Buble. | ||
| But he's haunting me now. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| It's the holiday season or something. | ||
| I have no idea what you're talking about. | ||
| I've never even heard of this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, now you'll get Buble-ed nonstop. | |
| You'll find Buble-ed everywhere. | ||
| I don't think I will. | ||
| Yeah, you will. | ||
| I'm guessing in your reality, Buble-ed. | ||
| I just cursed you with the Buble-ed first. | ||
| No, you can't win over my reality. | ||
| I control my own reality. | ||
| You can't get in there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah? | |
| It's an impenetrable bubble, sir. | ||
| You can't Buble-ed me. | ||
| You'll be driving home with your Buble-ed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Go ahead, send me some links. | |
| It won't even enter my mind. | ||
| I'll look at it, I'll click on the link, I'll go, oh, it's Brian. | ||
| I'm sorry, you just got Buble. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| I got Blue Blade all over your face. | ||
| Dude, you think so? | ||
| Dude, all I know is I'm going to be on The Tonight Show on Friday with Ron fucking Paul. | ||
| Musical guest Buble, you watch. | ||
| Oh my god, could you imagine if it was? | ||
| I would just pull my pants down and shit all over... | ||
| Make it happen, Yoshi. | ||
| Yoshi, make it happen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just blast diarrhea all over Jay's desk. | |
| I've been on the kale shakes a lot lately, man. | ||
| My poop is fantastic. | ||
| I love that, man. | ||
| Dude, Buble is the new kale. | ||
| Buble is the new kale. | ||
| Yes, because you kale me. | ||
| Buble is going to be the new Olive Garden. | ||
| I'm going to throw a fucking bottle of water at you. | ||
| I went to the Olive Garden the other day and it wasn't that good. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| I tried all their new stuff and it was like... | ||
| Oh, they're trying to get crafty? | ||
| No, it's not even that. | ||
| I've found that I eat late at night so I always go at 9 o'clock when it closes at 10 and you could tell the kitchen starts to break down at a certain moment. | ||
| Most restaurants, the kitchen is like, alright, we can start to break down, meaning you can stop making new soup, you can start putting everything away because there's only a few people left to order food. | ||
| And I feel like... | ||
| Lately, every time I go to a restaurant at that time period, it sucks. | ||
| And the ravioli I had was overcooked. | ||
| They have lasagna that's deep fried now or something like that. | ||
| It's so awesome. | ||
| But that felt like it was sitting in the fryer for 20 minutes. | ||
| So they probably pre-cooked it or something like that. | ||
| But don't go to a restaurant after 9 o'clock is what I'm saying. | ||
| You'll have not as good as food. | ||
| Because then we'd be tired. | ||
| Well, it's just because they start closing down the kitchen because it's about to close. | ||
| And people are tired, too. | ||
| It's my fault. | ||
| Don't go to Olive Garden after 9 o'clock. | ||
| Yeah, Olive Garden is like a 6 p.m. | ||
| sort of a meal. | ||
| 6 p.m. | ||
| on the road. | ||
| Lunch. | ||
| Any restaurant is what I'm saying, though. | ||
| Not just Olive Garden. | ||
| Any restaurant. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I got to eat dinner with Anthony Bourdain. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, in Toronto. | ||
| Where'd you go? | ||
| Some restaurant, some nice place. | ||
| It was pretty cool. | ||
| We got there when it was about to close, and they had a bar. | ||
| We sat in the bar area, and they said, you know, the regular menu is closed, but we got this menu. | ||
| And I said, can you tell the chef that Anthony Bourdain is here? | ||
| That's what I said. | ||
| You dropped that bird dating card. | ||
| I totally did. | ||
| I don't think she knew. | ||
| So she ran back and the chefs came back with a book and he fucking signed their book and shit. | ||
| It was the coolest meal ever. | ||
| Me and my pal Anthony Giordano and Anthony and his crazy wife. | ||
| His wife wants to fight. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| His wife is a badass, dude. | ||
| She's been doing jiu-jitsu and Muay Thai for like four years. | ||
| Completely obsessed. | ||
| She does them every day. | ||
| One in the morning, one at night. | ||
| I mean, she's got a thick neck and she's got fucking muscular arms and apparently she's like super, super aggressive. | ||
| I'm like, wow, what a strange situation that would be. | ||
| Have a wife that might be able to kick your ass, man. | ||
| Might be able to put a beating on you. | ||
| Do you think you could deal with that? | ||
| No. | ||
| You don't think you could deal with that? | ||
| No. | ||
| What if your chick just started getting into jiu-jitsu and fucking wanted her, and then eventually wanted to roll with you? | ||
| Like, come on, bitch. | ||
| No. | ||
| Come on, bitch. | ||
| What if you were fucking her, and then in the middle, she's like, eat my pussy, and right when you go down on her, she slaps a triangle on you and just puts you to sleep. | ||
| Could you imagine if that was, like, fun for her? | ||
| She hooks your leg. | ||
| You try to get off the bed. | ||
| She hooks your leg. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Just slaps that sucker down. | ||
| No. | ||
| You wouldn't be into that? | ||
| No. | ||
| Would that scare the shit out of you? | ||
| No. | ||
| What if she was laughing? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And she said, listen, I promise I'll blow you every day for a year. | ||
| Yeah, who cares? | ||
| That's like nothing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's like, hey, you want a handful of nickels? | |
| I shouldn't have taken your soul. | ||
| I shouldn't have choked you unconscious. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And have you always terrified every time you're near me now. | ||
| You have to switch the word blowjobs. | ||
| You have to switch it with something else. | ||
| Blowjobs means nothing to me. | ||
| Really? | ||
| What would she have to do? | ||
| Give you money? | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Pimp would go out in the street for you? | ||
| Show that she really loves you? | ||
| Cuddle during a movie? | ||
| That's all you want, right? | ||
| That's all you want. | ||
| Back rubs. | ||
| Animal massage. | ||
| Fucking weirdo. | ||
| Did you see... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, wait. | |
| I think you posted it. | ||
| That Christmas short that was supposed to be in front of the Anthony Bodine holiday special. | ||
| Yeah, his holiday special last night was so freaky. | ||
| If you DVR No Reservations... | ||
| DVR it and check out the... | ||
| or find it in DVRs. | ||
| You can search it. | ||
| It'll probably play in a repeat. | ||
| I think the Travel Network plays it all the time because sometimes I'll like... | ||
| I have it set to record all of my DVR and I'll come home and there'll be like 20 of them. | ||
| I've been gone for like a week. | ||
| How the fuck is there 20 of these things on here? | ||
| but it's just like they play the shit out of the show so if you find the Holiday one it's crazy it's so weird it's a really he told me about it he told me it was going to be nutty but I didn't know what to expect I don't want to tell you anything no spoilers you gotta see it it's so bizarre but awesome it's creepy Yeah, it came out of nowhere. | ||
| And this animation that they pulled from the show, apparently this is like... | ||
| Did you watch it? | ||
| No. | ||
| It was creepy. | ||
| I can see why they pulled it. | ||
| It was creepy. | ||
| It was almost maybe, I think, a viral marketing attempt from the Travel Channel, the whole thing. | ||
| No, how does that work? | ||
| Can we play that on the podcast? | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Are we sure? | ||
| No. | ||
| Somebody must own that, no? | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm sure we couldn't play the Siri thing at the beginning, but, you know, it's... | ||
| Yeah, but someone doesn't own that. | ||
| That's just a stupid computer voice. | ||
| If anything, the people who own the Biggie song... | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's... | |
| Anymore, who knows? | ||
| You know, is it illegal for me to post random movies in the background on a wall? | ||
| You know, if it's only showing one inch of it. | ||
| Dude, don't talk about that shit. | ||
| Who knows, though? | ||
| Don't talk about that shit. | ||
| Why are you going to bring that up? | ||
| That's like El Kukui. | ||
| Don't talk about it. | ||
| It'll come. | ||
| It's like Candyman. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not allowed to draw Gary Coleman, am I? No. | |
| No, you're not. | ||
| Yeah, that's how you know how fucked up that show was. | ||
| Two of them are dead. | ||
| I love that show. | ||
| That's one of the shows I grew up on, and I love everything about that show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I need another... | ||
| It's so weird watching TV nowadays. | ||
| They don't have that anymore because that's not... | ||
| Like, who cares? | ||
| Oh, you have a little black kid that you adopted. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who cares? | |
| Now what is it? | ||
| Like a little Iraqi kid? | ||
| Oh, you got an Iraqi kid? | ||
| Two Iraqi kids and you're an old man? | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Could you imagine if that was a fucking sitcom? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| You can't have those kind of sitcoms anymore. | ||
| You know, you could never have a Sanford and Son anymore. | ||
| You know, so if you had anything that was like semi-racist, like an all-in-the-family, you couldn't have that today. | ||
| So how are you going to have, you know, you'd miss out on 80% of the jokes. | ||
| If you had some guy with two little Arab kids... | ||
| Dude, Buble and Abdul. | ||
| That would be the name of the whole thing. | ||
| It would be like, Buble with two Iraqi kids. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stop, Brian. | |
| Stop. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| I'll end the podcast, I swear to God. | ||
| You're not bringing me into your retarded world. | ||
| In your buble world? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're going to be haunted. | |
| So let's talk about this Mindbook thing, man, that these guys wanted us to talk about. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they left. | ||
| They have a social networking site they put together. | ||
| These are the people that just left that were with Mr. Lipton. | ||
| And it's called www.mindbook.ws. | ||
| So that's mindbook.ws. | ||
| Why did I say www? | ||
| What am I, a fucking moron? | ||
| Like, people don't know that. | ||
| HTTP colon backslash backslash. | ||
| It's forward slash forward slash. | ||
| Yeah, that forward slash backslash thing. | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| That's like, it's forward slash. | ||
| That's like spell checking me nowadays. | ||
| Well, it's weird that that, you know. | ||
| Sounds better. | ||
| That that's the same protocol. | ||
| There's these little simple numbers. | ||
| How long is it going to be before let's just write the word in, you know, and go right to it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| H-T-T-P dot dot. | ||
| I mean, if you write CNN dot com, you don't have to write all that other shit. | ||
| Your browser does it for you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So why do we have to see that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Why do we have to know? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Let me put in the word. | ||
| And what's W-S really stand for? | ||
| Website, apparently they said. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Website. | |
| But it's probably some funky country. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know? | ||
| It's probably some weird country. | ||
| Like a lot of... | ||
| TV was like Transylvania or some shit. | ||
| People got TV, but it wasn't television. | ||
| TV stood for an abbreviation of some sort of a country. | ||
| And people got that internet address. | ||
| You're allowed to. | ||
| So I guess you're allowed to get this WS, whatever it is. | ||
| It's probably some weird country somewhere. | ||
| Should we Google that so we don't leave people in the dark here? | ||
| Let me find out what the hell this is. | ||
| WS domain. | ||
|
unidentified
|
By the way, I'm going bald, son. | |
| Why? | ||
| Just from watching yourself on Free Factor? | ||
| No. | ||
| That, too. | ||
| Is that why you're thinking of it? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I watch myself in high definition. | ||
| I'm like, man, I'm going bald. | ||
| Well, what's weird is when they show, like, at the beginning, they have this... | ||
| Me and my shaggy young hair. | ||
| I don't like the new opening. | ||
| Is that just temporary? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I have no idea. | |
| Ten years ago, a fear factor came in here and kissed you in the lips. | ||
| Your internet address, okay, website.ws story. | ||
| Okay, here it is, a WS story. | ||
| But it's weird to see your fucking, so much scalp. | ||
| Well, it's weird. | ||
| On the opening, they showed the young you, and then they showed the older you. | ||
| And it's like night and day difference how you've really transformed. | ||
| You look bigger, like meatier now. | ||
| Well, I didn't lift weights at all when I first started doing the show. | ||
| I got into really lifting weights probably around 2001 or 2002, which is right when Fear Factor just started. | ||
| Because that's when I really got into jiu-jitsu. | ||
| Before that, I had a problem with my knee. | ||
| I had what's called a bucket handle tear. | ||
| And it was real bad. | ||
| And it was from years ago. | ||
| And what would happen was, at least once every couple weeks, I would be doing something strenuous, anything strenuous, my knee would pop out and lock in place. | ||
| So what it is, is the meniscus would lift up like a bucket handle and get stuck. | ||
| It was fucking horrendous, man. | ||
| It was a real pain in the ass. | ||
| And it took me a long time before I ever got it fixed. | ||
| And then I finally did get it fixed. | ||
| And then I was able to really train hard again. | ||
| But until that, I would do something like I would lift weights. | ||
| I would bend over to tie my shoe and it would pop out. | ||
| And I would fall to the ground. | ||
| And my leg would be locked out. | ||
| And then it was fucked for hours, dude. | ||
| And then it was sore for weeks. | ||
| And then a couple weeks later, I'd get to the point where I'd go, let me just wear a brace, go back to jiu-jitsu class. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| It would pop again. | ||
| And then one time I tore it really bad. | ||
| It popped and tore so bad that I could not bend my leg. | ||
| So Eddie had to take me to the hospital. | ||
| And we went and they had to do an MRI on it. | ||
| And they gave me anti-inflammatories. | ||
| And eventually they shaved it down. | ||
| The lady was like, you know, you need to stop doing martial arts. | ||
| They were really judgmental about that shit. | ||
| The lady cornered me. | ||
| Listen, I'm telling you right now, you need to stop doing this stuff. | ||
| So I got that fixed, and then I started working out. | ||
| That's when I really got into seriously lifting. | ||
| And you're crazy. | ||
| On Twitter, I saw some people say, damn, Joe Rogan got fat. | ||
| And it's so weird. | ||
| I definitely am fatter. | ||
| They're right. | ||
| Were you ever doing an episode with no shirt on the whole time? | ||
| Well, people think I'm fatter than I am, for sure. | ||
| But I'm definitely fatter than I used to be. | ||
| Because when I used to fight, you know, when I first started doing, like, news radio, I was in, like, fighting shape. | ||
| I was in really good shape. | ||
| And I had, like, a very thin face. | ||
| You know, my whole body fat was, like, way lower than it is now. | ||
| I can, like, pinch fat on it. | ||
| And unfortunately, that makes me have a big, fat face. | ||
| That's so funny, though, when every time somebody says that, I'm like, you're crazy. | ||
| Well, I'm not really fat. | ||
| I mean, if you saw me with my shirt off, you wouldn't say that guy's fat. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No way. | |
| But I'm not fat like I... I'm not thin like I used to be. | ||
| I used to be shredded. | ||
| When I was constantly doing taekwondo and kickboxing and everything, I had like 5-6% body fat all the time, especially when I was going to compete. | ||
| And then, you know, it never got really heavier than that until I got like deep into my 30s, when I was like working all the time and eating shit food. | ||
| You know, like after I did that men's fitness cover, I was in a cover... | ||
| That was the best shape I ever got in, and I just got lazy after that. | ||
| I didn't really lift weights at all anymore. | ||
| How was the Today Show? | ||
| We haven't talked about that. | ||
| You were on the Today Show. | ||
| I didn't even get to see it yet. | ||
| It was interesting. | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| They do it outside in this little plaza. | ||
| They do part of it in the plaza. | ||
| Al Roker, and I'm sorry, I don't remember the other two people. | ||
| I don't remember the name. | ||
| I apologize. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's rude of me. | |
| It's Jane Pauly. | ||
| Is it Jane Pauly? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I forget their names, but they're very cool people. | ||
| And they're very tall, and I look like a little tiny person out there. | ||
| And so we're out there in the cold, and they say, hey, Fear Factor's coming back. | ||
| Yeah, yay. | ||
| And it's gone. | ||
| It's over and done, and Al Roker cracks a joke, and that's a wrap. | ||
| Did you smoke weed with Al Roker? | ||
| I wish I did. | ||
| I would love to smoke weed with Al Roker. | ||
| Al Roker's very friendly. | ||
| He's a very nice guy. | ||
| He's very friendly. | ||
| At least he has been every time I met him. | ||
| He's a very nice guy. | ||
| What is Matt Law? | ||
| He lost a shitload of weight too, man. | ||
| There's a guy who lost a lot of weight. | ||
| There's a guy who recognized that he had some sort of a problem with his diet and living his life that way and just straightened it out. | ||
| Well, he did the lap band thing, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did he do that? | |
| Yeah, I think that's what he did and I think he was successful at it. | ||
| We know many people that have had it, but they just started eating the same. | ||
| Well, I don't know about many, but we know about one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, who just keeps breaking those fucking things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Which is so scary, you know? | ||
| The fact that he's just pumping food in there and snapping that cord. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know how it works. | ||
| Do you understand how it works? | ||
| I think they just tie off your stomach, don't they? | ||
| To make it smaller. | ||
| And then your stomach does grow, you know, if you start eating. | ||
| You're just packing barbecue into that hole, that knot, trying to break it open. | ||
| Why did you say barbecue? | ||
| Barbecue would be delicious right now, wouldn't it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Delicious. | |
| But anyway, yeah, this guy actually had it done. | ||
| Which is really funny because all it does is, like, gets you to not eat as much. | ||
| Like, you could just do that on your own. | ||
| You don't have to get cut open. | ||
| But people, like, they trust their will so little that they would rather get cut open. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck that. | |
| That's craziness. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's amazing that, you know, I mean, I can understand it when you're like on death's door and, you know, like I got to do something or I'm obviously out of control. | ||
| Man, I don't know if that's the thing to do. | ||
| I think you should look at yourself somehow, you know, whether it's some sort of a psychedelic experience or, you know, read books and get inspired, be around positive people. | ||
| I think that's probably the better option. | ||
| That's going to make a real change in your life because having an operation, even though it pushes you into a certain direction, like, okay, now we're moving positive. | ||
| We're getting in less food. | ||
| We're going to lose some weight. | ||
| We're going to put less pressure on the heart. | ||
| This is all good. | ||
| Even though that, it's not being done necessarily by you. | ||
| It's forcing you to do that. | ||
| And whenever you force yourself to do something, instead of learning and adapting your behavior naturally, and then Having that behavior eventually through positive reinforcement become the norm. | ||
| This is your normal behavior now. | ||
| I actually like to eat greens. | ||
| I like to eat a kale shake in the morning. | ||
| I like to be healthy. | ||
| So until that takes place, you're just going to repeat the same fucking patterns. | ||
| And that's with our friend who keeps blowing his shit out. | ||
| The issue is not this hole and how to stuff it. | ||
| It's why do you want to stuff it all the time like this, man? | ||
| What the fuck is going on? | ||
| Physiologically, psychologically... | ||
| I mean, I'm not against doing whatever the fuck you feel like you need to do to get yourself healthy. | ||
| You know, you want to do the lap band. | ||
| I totally think you should be able to do it. | ||
| But I think if I was your friend, you know, I would say, let's not be crazy. | ||
| Joey Diaz wouldn't do it. | ||
| That's why Joey wouldn't do it. | ||
| Joey was like, they cut you. | ||
| Once they cut you, they cut you open, dog. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| You telling me that I'm that weak? | ||
| I need to do that? | ||
| So Joey lost like 80 fucking pounds. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Didn't he lose something crazy like that? | ||
| He did at one point. | ||
| And you did too. | ||
| You lost a shitload of weight, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How heavy did you get at one point? | ||
| What's the heaviest you ever got? | ||
| I think it was like 245, 250 or something like that. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Wasn't it? | ||
| And then I got down, I know the lowest I got down I think was like 169, 175, somewhere around there. | ||
| And your head looked really big. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Isn't that funny? | ||
| I looked weird. | ||
| I look like Carlos Messia looks. | ||
| Well, no, he looks better than you looked. | ||
| I'm going to be honest with you. | ||
| When you gain weight, it's a weird thing. | ||
| Like, your head gets big, too. | ||
| Even if you gain weight through muscle lifting, guys gain a shitload of weight from power lifting and stuff, even if they're not on a sauce, their fucking heads get bigger, man. | ||
| I have a friend who's really big. | ||
| Have you seen this? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Classless 3D. It's the new... | ||
| Oh, that's pretty dope. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| That's a 3D that you don't have to wear glasses for. | ||
| Holy shit, this Nintendo DS is badass. | ||
| I have a friend who's about 300, 320 pounds, and his fucking head is enormous. | ||
| And I look at his head and I go, okay, even if he lost all the weight, how did his head get so big? | ||
| Did his head grow because his body was so fat? | ||
| What is it that made his head grow, too? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When you get older, your facial features get older. | |
| Your nose and your ears. | ||
| Yeah, I've noticed that. | ||
| My nose seems larger than it was when I was a younger man. | ||
| I feel like it looks different. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense, but it looks different since I had that operation on the inside. | ||
| I feel like it got wider or something. | ||
| That doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, maybe they carved out too much. | ||
| They wanted to save something as a cell. | ||
| It's stupid because there was no change to the structure of my nose at all. | ||
| But goddamn, it works better now. | ||
| Anybody who's ever thinking about doing that, I had a... | ||
| What's called... | ||
| There's a video of it on YouTube. | ||
| I forget the technical scientific term of what the operation's called. | ||
| But they went in and fixed a deviated septum. | ||
| And fuck, that was one of the best things I ever did. | ||
| I couldn't breathe out of my nose since I was like a little kid. | ||
| I broke my nose falling down a flight of stairs when I was like five. | ||
| My nose was crooked. | ||
| So my whole life, I've been a mouth-breathing fuck. | ||
| And to actually have... | ||
| It's such an amazing thing for me. | ||
| Is it 100% now or do you almost want to go back and get some more cut out of it? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| No, it's great. | ||
| It's wide open. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| I hit the bag with my mouth closed. | ||
| I can hit the bag just breathing out of my nose. | ||
| I don't do it for long stretches at a time. | ||
| I'll take mouth breaths too. | ||
| But I want to make sure that I can exert myself. | ||
| There's this guy that I've been working with. | ||
| I've talked about him before. | ||
| His name is Steve Maxwell. | ||
| And he's on Twitter. | ||
| You can follow him. | ||
| If you go to Steve Maxwell or maxwellfitness.com or just Google him. | ||
| Google Steve Maxwell. | ||
| I apologize that I don't remember the website name. | ||
| It might be Maxwell Strength and Conditioning. | ||
| Either way, he's a brilliant guy and a brilliant strength and conditioning coach. | ||
| And one of the things that he has me working on is breathing. | ||
| And so you learn the correct way to breathe to calm your heart down. | ||
| It doesn't seem like that would work, but there really is a way to calm yourself down. | ||
| It's very difficult to do because one of the things that happens when your body goes into oxygen deprivation, when you're exhausted, when you're just totally worn out, you just want to... | ||
| You're just trying to get air in. | ||
| Well, obviously, the air that you have right now is enough to sustain you. | ||
| You are alive. | ||
| I understand that your body is sending messages and saying it needs more air. | ||
| We don't have enough air. | ||
| But you know what? | ||
| You're going to be fine. | ||
| You know what's going to fuck you up even worse? | ||
| If you freak out about this and your heart starts pounding a million miles an hour on top of the fact, from the adrenaline rush, on top of the fact that it's tired from being pushed and being exhausted. | ||
| And what he's teaching me is how to breathe in through your nose. | ||
| You breathe in like this. | ||
| So you're exhausted, completely exhausted. | ||
| You don't want to just like... | ||
| You want to take these big panic breaths, but that sends panic signals to your body. | ||
| You have to control it. | ||
| So you've got to be disciplined. | ||
| So as you're doing this, you want to take these breaths, but you go... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's amazing how quickly everything relaxes. | |
| It was a huge lesson to me. | ||
| Now, when I'm exhausted and working out, I force myself into breathing like that and I recover way quicker. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| And all this is like pranayamic breathing. | ||
| This is all like ancient yoga guys who were badass at this. | ||
| This is like a big part of yoga. | ||
| It's like breath control. | ||
| I used to have a friend, we used to call him Yoga Ray. | ||
| Ray Capone, he was... | ||
| I hope I didn't say his last name wrong. | ||
| Ray Capo, thank you. | ||
| Correcting myself. | ||
| And he was the head of this band. | ||
| I forget his band, but it was like a hardcore band. | ||
| Like crazy, wild noise kind of band. | ||
| And they were real popular. | ||
| And then he got into yoga. | ||
| And he became this yoga instructor. | ||
| And eventually just wound up, I think he gave up music entirely. | ||
| And he was just like teaching yoga to people at some big corporate retreat somewhere in upstate New York. | ||
| He was going to move up there with his family. | ||
| This guy had amazing cardio, dude. | ||
| I mean, amazing. | ||
| You would never see him gassed out, ever. | ||
| And he told me all he did was breathing exercises. | ||
| He would do these long, slow, deep breaths where you breathe in through your nose and it takes like a minute. | ||
| And then you hold it and then you slowly let the air out. | ||
| Slowly. | ||
| Like you just want to... | ||
| Your instinct is to just fucking panic and just let it all out and just breathe in and take gulps of air like you're drowning. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| Slowly let it out. | ||
| It's very difficult to do. | ||
| I've tried to do it. | ||
| I do it when I get in the tank. | ||
| For me, the quickest way to get completely relaxed and centered when I get into the tank... | ||
| Besides that certain special plant, hee hee. | ||
| The other thing is doing these breathing exercises. | ||
| You know, so many people don't know about breathing exercises and don't understand that, you know, your lungs, you can condition them and you can manipulate them and they're, you know, you're in control. | ||
| You're deciding when to take a breath and you're deciding when to push it out and you can use, like, Time-honored practices of manipulating that to actually strengthen your lungs and strengthen your aerobic capacity. | ||
| Because I'll tell you, man, this dude just had awesome control of his lungs. | ||
| He would never get tired. | ||
| That's a Hicks and Gracie principle, too. | ||
| Hicks and Gracie was like the greatest Gracie ever. | ||
| You know, pretty widely recognized as one of the greatest, if not the... | ||
| You know, everyone would say number one. | ||
| Every jiu-jitsu guy, almost 100% would say Hicks and Gracie. | ||
| He's that badass. | ||
| And the other thing about him is he's a yogi. | ||
| And he has these crazy abdomen muscles, man, where he's doing these breathing exercises in this video and he's sucking his whole stomach into his ribcage and then moving it left and right. | ||
| It's like the amount of manipulation that he can do with his abdominals and his breathing. | ||
| You and I can't even wrap our heads around it. | ||
| You watch a video of it, man, it's fucking crazy. | ||
| Like, pull it up on YouTube. | ||
| Pull up Hicks and Gracie breathing. | ||
| Breath exercises, breathing. | ||
| Hicks and Gracie from the documentary, Choke. | ||
| And it just makes you realize, man, that there's more to harness in your body than we're aware of. | ||
| There's some other shit. | ||
| And yoga is a really interesting aspect of that whole search. | ||
| Because I've found very few things in life that make my head feel as good as yoga does. | ||
| Yoga puts me in a real relaxed state. | ||
| I don't necessarily get to it that often these days, but whenever I do it, I'm always happy I did. | ||
| It always makes me feel peaceful after it's over. | ||
| And I think, you know, sometimes when I'm busy with a lot of shit, I actually subconsciously avoid doing anything enlightening because then it'll make me not want to work as hard, not want to get as much shit done, you know? | ||
| And so whenever I'm, like, avoiding yoga or avoiding even practicing a little bit of it on my own, I always know that I'm probably working too hard. | ||
| Did you find the video? | ||
| Here, check the screen right here and tell me if you see, recognize one of these. | ||
| Yeah, hold on a second. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| Hicks and Gracie workout. | ||
| Yeah, he'll do what? | ||
| He does a workout, and then at the end of it, he does this crazy breathing shit. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's... | |
| After so much training, after so much work, after so much effort... | ||
| He's doing sit-ups on the beach right now. | ||
| This is the greatest jiu-jitsu artist ever. | ||
| This is a guy where every single family member will tell you, Hickson's the fucking best, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like a very interesting feeling when you feel yourself in your time to be capable to expose yourself in a way to fight and compete. | |
| That's not means a victory or defeat or anything, but just be able to do it, you know? | ||
| This motherfucker, this guy is, like, there's not one person that will tell you that he's not good at jiu-jitsu. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| There's not one person that will not tell you that this guy's a master. | ||
| You know? | ||
| He comes from a whole family of killers, and he's the number one killer. | ||
| And what he's right now doing is he's strengthening his neck with his giant bungee cord. | ||
| Really a brilliant guy, too. | ||
| I had a chance to eat dinner with him once and went to his house and discussed jiu-jitsu techniques and mixed martial arts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The physical, the body as a machine, as a machine we need really to take care of. | |
| You know, so I try to be beside a fighter. | ||
| I try to keep my physical... | ||
| This is it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Very smooth as a combination where I can be very flexible, very strong, very fast, very well coordinated with a good balance, with a good breathing. | |
| So those elements I try to combine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Watch this shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is going to freak you out, man. | |
| Want me to slow this down for you? | ||
| No, no, I'm good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sometimes when I make my routines, I get in a very special stage of meditation. | |
| And this is beautiful because I'm able to exercise and totally clean my mind and keep myself in the present moment. | ||
| That's so weird. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
When you control your breath, you can actually control yourself mentally and physically. | |
| You can really understand your fears and your emotional stress. | ||
| And you can freak girls out. | ||
| I like how they got the music playing in the background too. | ||
| Isn't it amazing though, what he can do with his stomach? | ||
| It's very strange to watch, man. | ||
| He's what I would say is a real martial arts master. | ||
| There's only a few of them out there in the world that people universally recognize as a martial arts master. | ||
| And Hickson is a martial arts master. | ||
| He's such an inspirational dude. | ||
| That documentary, Choke, I guarantee you, there's thousands of jiu-jitsu guys all over the world who watch that documentary, Choke, all the time just to watch Hickson. | ||
| When Hickson came on the scene, a lot of people don't know about Hickson. | ||
| They know about Hoist because Hoist won the Ultimate Fighting Championship. | ||
| But even Hoist said that if he ever got beat, they were waiting to put in Hickson. | ||
| Hickson was like Plan B. He was like the atomic bomb. | ||
| Like, we'll go in there with troops, but if you bitches... | ||
| He kills babies. | ||
| Get your shit together. | ||
| We're going to drop Hicks and Gracie on you. | ||
| And he went over and fought in Japan instead. | ||
| He fought in Japan Valley 2. I don't know if there's some politics involved, some family politics. | ||
| I don't understand all that. | ||
| But I do understand that watching him compete was amazing. | ||
| He didn't fight enough guys. | ||
| I really wish that we could have got a chance to see his high-level jiu-jitsu at work against some of the real best MMA fighters in the world. | ||
| But when we did see it, man, it was so dominant, man. | ||
| Talking to that dude, you ever talk to somebody and you get inspired and at the same time you're like, wow, this fucking guy is on such another level with his mind, the way he is so serious about things. | ||
| Yeah, like when you go to the Apple store and you talk to one of those guys. | ||
| No, totally different. | ||
| Is that how you feel? | ||
| I wish I was an Apple genius. | ||
| I wish I was behind the genius counter. | ||
| Anyway, breath control is fucking awesome. | ||
| It's like hooking. | ||
| Try that shit. | ||
| It's like hooking? | ||
| Hooking. | ||
| How's it like hooking? | ||
| Are you retarded today? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| No, like when you're in the jet plane, you go... | ||
| Oh. | ||
| God, calm down, tiger. | ||
| You silly fuck. | ||
| Well, you've been saying silly shit all day. | ||
| No, I haven't. | ||
| Actually, everything I said makes sense. | ||
| Oh, what's that guy's name that you keep fucking repeating? | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, the singer that's everywhere. | ||
| Buble. | ||
| Yeah, you didn't get silly with that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, I'm telling you, I can't stop talking Buble now. | |
| You're going to see what I'm talking about. | ||
| Now that you know who this guy's name is, it's going to haunt you. | ||
| I bet I'm not. | ||
| This Nintendo DS thing that you handed me, this 3DS thing, is amazing. | ||
| Yeah, it's really good. | ||
| My mom got it for me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It really is. | |
| 3D. The Mario Brothers game. | ||
| If you're a big fan of Mario Brothers, it's done right for the first time being able to do a 3D game. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| I'm looking at it right now. | ||
| It's really a trip. | ||
| It even works a little bit at an off angle. | ||
| Yeah, but that's the big secret. | ||
| But you can see. | ||
| You have to look at it dead on to really get it. | ||
| You can see the wiring beneath the board. | ||
| There's two things I don't like about it. | ||
| One is that I have small hands, but I still found it was really cramped to play for a large period of time. | ||
| Yeah, I bet. | ||
| For a large period of time. | ||
| So I got this thing that just snaps into it. | ||
| It looks like an Xbox controller. | ||
| So you can just play it like it's an Xbox controller. | ||
| I guess I hit a button that activated a camera. | ||
| Oh, it's got a 3D camera. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can take photos in 3D. And does it actually look like 3D? If I take a photo of me taking a photo, that's what I'm doing. | |
| That would be interesting. | ||
| If you put something in the front, in the back, like that chair or something. | ||
| But yeah, it's got a 3D camera, and I'm having fun with it. | ||
| I didn't know it was that cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's pretty dope. | |
| Now, imagine when TVs are like that, though. | ||
| That's a small little screen, but imagine when TVs, the 3D is going to be like that. | ||
| Are these things, these mobile Game Boy type devices, are these things sort of like digital cameras where they're on their way out and it's all going to be incorporated into phones? | ||
| The iPad. | ||
| The iPad gaming. | ||
| The iPad itself. | ||
| This is the coolest thing ever. | ||
| Have you tried mirroring? | ||
| You've done that, right? | ||
| Yeah, mirroring where you do your Apple TV. Something even cooler. | ||
| There's this new thing called OnLive. | ||
| I don't know if you've heard it. | ||
| OnLive? | ||
| It's called OnLive, and it's a video game browser where you can sit here, and what it does is it's a service that you pay for every month, and it has all the latest video games, so you don't have to have a high-end computer anymore. | ||
| You don't have to have an Xbox anymore. | ||
| You play through this weird streaming technology, and it doesn't seem like it would work well, meaning you can sit there, I can sit here right now and play the new Batman video game, We're good to go. | ||
| Pretty much. | ||
| So your finger movements will dictate what is going to be like your controllers and everything. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And what's really cool, if you can see this, it's pretty sweet. | ||
| What's really cool is that also, if you're bored and you're sitting in your bed, you can sit here and watch anybody that's playing video games right now. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| And you can just go into their game and just... | ||
| Let me just explain to everybody. | ||
| Brian just pulled up a browser with... | ||
| How many fucking windows was that? | ||
| Hundreds. | ||
| What game is this? | ||
| Team Fortress or some shit? | ||
| I don't even know what this is. | ||
| But they have like Batman. | ||
| They have like any game. | ||
| You can just drop in on any of these games. | ||
| Drop in and just start watching. | ||
| So I've been lately... | ||
| How do you play them? | ||
| Can you play? | ||
| You can't on the iPad yet. | ||
| So the iPad is just watching people play games? | ||
| This is just watching. | ||
| This is like watching TV, though, of people playing any video game they have. | ||
| Which, by the way, I used to do all the time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When I was addicted to Quake, I used to watch a lot of Quake demos. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But on Android, you can play it. | ||
| They just released the Android version, so you can play the games. | ||
| But I download on my Mac, and I can play games from my Mac here without having any video games on my thing. | ||
| And it works really well. | ||
| I was surprised how well it worked. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| At least for right now, five years from now, that would be the way to go. | ||
| There's not going to be Xboxes anymore. | ||
| You're just going to be fucking using your TV and a Bluetooth remote to your controller or whatever you're using. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's getting very strange. | ||
| But that's called OnLive. | ||
| I wonder what the next level is going to be. | ||
| With this 3D thing, it really makes me think that they're eventually going to get a 3D thing that's going to be on your regular television, will be 3D capable, just like everything became HD capable. | ||
| I mean, HD's been around for a long fucking time, but how long was it before everybody had an HD set? | ||
| Still, the majority don't. | ||
| Is it really the majority? | ||
| I bet the majority still does not have an HD set. | ||
| Wow, that's amazing. | ||
| You know, I did this tour, this satellite television tour, where you sit down and they connect you with all these different morning shows. | ||
| I want to talk to you about Fear Factor being back and that kind of shit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And one of them we have to reset for because one news station somewhere, one TV station somewhere, doesn't have HD. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So because of this one, they have to reset everything and smash the signal and do something totally different. | ||
| I don't know how they change it, but they have to change it for this one network in the middle of nowhere that does not have HD. I go, what's that about? | ||
| It's like a mom and pop owned TV station. | ||
| Why don't they just pay for them to upgrade? | ||
| I wonder if that would be more expensive than having to do that. | ||
| I think it's super expensive. | ||
| I mean, it's a worthwhile investment, but if you're some ricky-dink town, and you've got, I mean, how many people have access to each television station? | ||
| If it's like Jasper, Wyoming, or some shit, some weird place no one's ever heard of, and they have a TV station, and you're clinking into it, it's on HD. Right. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's crazy that there's television stations that are not HD, but we have 1080p on our iPhones. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Our phones, yeah. | |
| That is amazing. | ||
| Well, it's like there's a big wave, and not everything is at the front of the wave. | ||
| There's a lot of shit going on on the sides and the ends. | ||
| It's curious, though. | ||
| It's curious because if HD eventually gets replaced by 3D, all these people that just switched to HD will be like, motherfucker, I just got the newest shit. | ||
| If it ever becomes a... | ||
| I'm not a fan of the fucking glasses in the movies, but if you can show me movies that are as good from the sides and the edges as they are from the front, and it's 3D, we can just watch it on the screen. | ||
| Because right now, the way that looked, it's a big difference between head-on and on the edge. | ||
| If you had to watch Conan in 3D on the edge, you'd get annoyed at yourself. | ||
| It's like it's too fucking close. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's hard for me to even go to a movie theater nowadays, though. | ||
| I never go. | ||
| I mean, I have big TVs and digital sound. | ||
| So, like, even that Monkey movie, I never got to see it, but it's out on DVD, so I might just go rent it. | ||
| I've been to movies three times in the last month, and two of those three times, people were talking during the movie theater, and it was annoying as shit. | ||
| Yeah, see, I don't need that. | ||
| I don't need that. | ||
| It was so annoying. | ||
| It's like, you know, people think it's fun, and they're laughing at shit. | ||
| You know, they're talking to each other about something totally not related to the movie, and you hear them laughing. | ||
| There's very few things that are distracting when you're hearing someone laughing out loud during a scene in a movie. | ||
| And you know what the problem is? | ||
| There's not a lot of people going to movies these days, so if you go during a weeknight, sometimes you'll go, like a 10 o'clock movie, and there'll be like fucking three couples in there, and that's it. | ||
| There's no one in there, man. | ||
| Yeah, they're on their way out. | ||
| Movie theaters, bookstores, you know, all that shit. | ||
| That makes me sad, man. | ||
| That makes me sad. | ||
| I'm going to miss both, for sure. | ||
| I love movie theaters. | ||
| I love the idea of, like, movies coming out, like when the Avengers comes out. | ||
| I want to be there opening weekend, man. | ||
| That's when all the fucking nerds are there. | ||
| They're real excited to be there at that movie. | ||
| I want to get tickets in advance. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Then it's a fun experience. | ||
| If you see a cool movie in a theater with a bunch of people and they're all into it, that actually enhances the experience. | ||
| But if you see a theater and it's half empty and the people are talking, God damn. | ||
| God damn, that's annoying. | ||
| They feel like they can do that when there's less people there. | ||
| That's when I've found that people are really rude. | ||
| It's not when the movie theater is crowded. | ||
| It's when there's only a few couples. | ||
| Especially if you get more than three boys together. | ||
| More than three teenage boys together. | ||
| That's all the time for me. | ||
| You and three teenage boys? | ||
| Is that your move? | ||
| I don't want bookstores to go out either, man. | ||
| I love bookstores. | ||
| I like the idea of walking by and going, huh, what is this? | ||
| Biography on who? | ||
| Huh, what did he do? | ||
| Oh, okay, let me read about this guy's life. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| I like that I can just walk down an aisle and go, you know what, maybe I want to read a biography today. | ||
| Or maybe I want to read about cars today. | ||
| I want something mindless. | ||
| I want to know the history of the Corvette. | ||
| Maybe it's, you know, I want to, you know, know about fucking solar power. | ||
| But I want to be able to just wander through and pick out something. | ||
| It's like the same thing with record stores, man. | ||
| I used to like record stores, man. | ||
| I used to like Virgin Records where you'd go and they would let you listen to the CD. You remember? | ||
| And there was no fucking headphones available because people would just stand there and listen to music all day. | ||
| And you'd be like, damn, I want to find out if this fucking record's any good. | ||
| That was like the first time anybody ever took a chance and said, listen, I know that you've been burned in the past, so here's what we're going to do. | ||
| We're going to let you listen to everything before you buy it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Remember? | |
| That was like fucking revolutionary. | ||
| Now people download the whole fucking thing. | ||
| And if they really like it, they'll buy it on iTunes. | ||
| I still buy... | ||
| Most people don't do that, I don't think. | ||
| I think most people just steal nowadays, but I still buy a CD here and there. | ||
| Definitely, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But the problem is I don't go to a record store. | ||
| I go to Amazon. | ||
| You just get them delivered to you? | ||
| Where was I just at? | ||
| Oh, I was at Best Buy, and there was so many things, and I'm like, oh, dude, that's cool. | ||
| Wait, let me just go on Amazon. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Yeah, it's 40% cheaper on Amazon. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| 40% cheaper? | ||
| There's so many things. | ||
| Here's a good example. | ||
| This is kind of obvious. | ||
| Urban Outfitters has this... | ||
| Video game system that plays like old Nintendo, old Super Nintendo, old Genesis. | ||
| Anyways, they have it on sale for $100. | ||
| It's on Amazon for $44. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Yeah, and that's just like how Best Buy is. | ||
| Best Buy is all the time. | ||
| You just go through everything and you're like, wow, it's on sale right now. | ||
| Best Buy has Windows laptops for like $700. | ||
| How much can you get a good Windows laptop for these days? | ||
| Dude, you can get a good Windows laptop for $300. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Yeah, and you're not going to be editing video, but nowadays, shit's so cheap. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| You can get a laptop for $300, like a good one, like a Toshiba or something like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Absolutely. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| That's one of my favorite complaints, too, when people start talking about Apple. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can get the same specs in a Windows box for one-third the price. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| But yeah, but you'd be running Windows. | ||
| Do you understand that? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| You silly goose. | ||
| People get mad at me, man. | ||
| That's one of the things I've had mentioned on Twitter. | ||
| People say something like, Dude, I think you're cool and everything until you start talking about Mac and PC and you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. | ||
| Like, whoa. | ||
| It won't change until Walmart starts selling Apple computers. | ||
| Someone got a little touchy. | ||
| Someone's a little uncomfortable with the reality of the fact that your shit gets viruses. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, they can make viruses for the Mac platform as well. | |
| There's just not enough people doing it for them to justify making it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I think those people would be so... | ||
| The people that write viruses are probably on Windows and they would probably want to destroy the Apple fanboys as much as possible. | ||
| If they could try to extract money is what they're trying to do. | ||
| If it was easy to extract money. | ||
| There's just a big enough market with Windows computers. | ||
| Why fuck with it? | ||
| It's so easy to get into your shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| All you have to do is click a link. | ||
| I mean, how stupid is that? | ||
| You click a link and you get a virus. | ||
| Hi! | ||
| Oh, sorry, your fucking virus detection wasn't ready for this. | ||
| Oh, I just snuck into your bases and I got you pregnant. | ||
| Sorry, stupid. | ||
| Not all your data is no good. | ||
| Hell spawns inside of you making babies. | ||
| I'll tell you what's the most annoying thing in the world. | ||
| Somebody told me to call this number. | ||
| It was like 1-800-WET-TITS. On one of the other podcasts, he's like, oh, I got a new 1-800 number, and so he wanted everyone to call this number. | ||
| What it was is like 1-800-WET-TITS or boobs or something like that. | ||
| And it's just this girl going, oh, you want my... | ||
| I have really wet boobs. | ||
| It's like a recording. | ||
| And then at the end of, like, this two-minute speech she gives, she's like, call this number, you know, to talk to me live. | ||
| But the problem is now, ever since... | ||
| Because I called on my phone and put it on speakerphone just so we could play on the podcast. | ||
| The problem is that now, nonstop, every day, I'm getting a text message, like, automated, like, hey, me and my crazy roommate want to suck your butthole out and call this number, you know? | ||
| And it's like, I'm now in a spam... | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, I don't get spam on my phone. | |
| So you never get random text messages that are trying to sell you or do something? | ||
| No. | ||
| Great, I don't know what to do now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sure I can call AT&T. Someone got your number. | |
| Well, no, it's because I called a phone number and I got automatically put on some text message calling list. | ||
| So you can block them. | ||
| I'm sure you can find out what number that's coming from and tell AT&T no text messages from them. | ||
| Yeah, but that should be against the law. | ||
| What if you accidentally called that number by mistake? | ||
| Now that you're just signed up for some spamming? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah, it's true. | ||
| It's bullshit. | ||
| But, whatever. | ||
| It's amazing it's taken this long for them to infiltrate. | ||
| Think about how long people have been getting text messages, and just now they're figuring out how to get in there? | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| That's pretty incredible when you really think about it. | ||
| Dude, now with the Patriot Act, they can listen to everything. | ||
| They can listen to all your calls. | ||
| With every fucking new bill that gets passed, they can dig into all your text messages, all in the name of you could be a terrorist. | ||
| All you have to do is be a single guy in your 40s. | ||
| You could be a terrorist. | ||
| All you have to do is have a year's worth of food. | ||
| I forget who did a description of it, but... | ||
| Was it Jon Stewart? | ||
| I forget who it was. | ||
| But they had all these descriptions of what is defined, how it defines a terrorist now. | ||
| It's unbelievable. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| Like, if you have missing fingers, you could be a terrorist. | ||
| If you wear that Casio watch that I have, you're a terrorist. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| That one watch. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That one watch, because they use that for timing shit, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's just standardized. | ||
| Just a watch. | ||
| A fucking regular watch. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you could be on a watch list. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| How did this all fall apart like this? | ||
| That Bruce Lipton guy kind of freaked me out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Didn't he freak you out a little? | ||
| No, I mean, I think, for the most part, it was really good. | ||
| It was really, you know, you either believe that or don't, and I've always kind of believed what he talks about, so I agree. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I 100% believe what he says. | ||
| You know who's going to freak you out, man? | ||
| Michael Rupert, when I get that guy on here. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know that guy. | ||
| He's going to smoke cigarettes with you, too, remember? | ||
| He smokes cigarettes every five seconds. | ||
| That Collapse movie, man. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And I want you to talk to him, too, about the whole thing that he said about the cell phones. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Remember he said they stopped upgrading their towers? | ||
| Oh yeah, he's probably changed his mind now. | ||
| That's just obvious now. | ||
| But that does speak to a direction that he was going in. | ||
| When is that? | ||
| I want to re-watch that movie again. | ||
| I remember I was very passionate about a few things on that. | ||
| But I'm exchanging emails back and forth with his assistant. | ||
| We're working that shit out. | ||
| There's so many people I want to get on the podcast. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| Like who? | ||
| Who else? | ||
| I want to get Nick Swartzen back. | ||
| Yeah, I would love to get Nick back. | ||
| If he's got more than 45 minutes to kill. | ||
| Kevin Pereira. | ||
| Kevin would be great again. | ||
| I told you I did Tack of the Show yesterday. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| I went to his Christmas party. | ||
| It was awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh yeah? | |
| I saw pictures of it. | ||
| What the fuck was he dressed like? | ||
| Well, he had a P90X holiday party, and so you were supposed to dress in holiday sweaters mixed with P90X clothing. | ||
| P90X, the workout program? | ||
| The workout program. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| P90Xmas is what it was? | ||
| Yeah, and so you had to come there with your favorite ornaments and stuff like that, so I cut off the Avatar fleshlight vagina and put a hook in it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no you didn't. | |
| Yeah, I washed it. | ||
| You put a hook in it? | ||
| Yeah, and hung it on the tree when I walked in. | ||
| Wow, God. | ||
| No, and then it was cool, though. | ||
| He has one of those arcade games. | ||
| I told you about this. | ||
| He has a MAME arcade game, which had, like, every single, allegedly, every single video game on it. | ||
| And, like, he had Dragon's Lair, Space Ace, like, and there was this game called Rastin. | ||
| I don't know if you remember this from the, I think it was the 80s. | ||
| It was, like, this Conan O'Brien guy. | ||
| It was just, like, a simple slasher, like a Conan O'Brien slasher. | ||
| And it was one of the coolest games to see, because I haven't seen it since I was a kid. | ||
| So check out Rastin. | ||
| See if it brings back memories. | ||
| It's like Conan O'Brien. | ||
| Dude, I was watching. | ||
| They were showing some game. | ||
| I don't know what it was, but I believe it was a game for the iPad. | ||
| Some crazy fantasy game. | ||
| You're upgrading your weapons and swords. | ||
| But it was like really wild fucking animation. | ||
| And I was watching. | ||
| I was like, this is incredible. | ||
| It's on an iPad. | ||
| It's really new. | ||
| You know whose is that? | ||
| It was they were reviewing it. | ||
| Oh, is it Cliffy's game? | ||
| Yeah, it's Cliffy's. | ||
| Of course it is. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| One of his... | ||
| Not his games, but Epic Games. | ||
| Dude, it's fucking amazing looking. | ||
| I mean, it's incredible. | ||
| And I was watching, I was like, wow, we're at the level where that is coming out on a fucking iPad? | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| Yeah, the iPad's pretty badass. | ||
| And supposedly the third one's going to be the latest rumor since February. | ||
| Third one's going to rub your dick. | ||
| It seems like they just came out with the second one. | ||
| I'm kind of getting angry about that shit. | ||
| Well, it's been almost a year. | ||
| I think they're doing one a year. | ||
| I still have the first generation. | ||
| I'm an old holdout. | ||
| I'm like one of those dudes you meet that has the iPhone with the aluminum in the bottom. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Those guys... | |
| You don't even use those anymore. | ||
| That thing's made out of wood. | ||
| You can't use them anymore? | ||
| Well, I mean, you have to like... | ||
| You can barely use them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, you can. | |
| You just have to not ever update your iTunes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you update your iTunes, oh, you're fucked. | ||
| Everybody says that, too. | ||
| What you were saying, that whenever you update your operating system on the older phones, it just seems so clunky. | ||
| Yeah, they do it on purpose. | ||
| Yeah, they make it super badass for the new shit, for the next level shit. | ||
| Yeah, but they do it on computers also. | ||
| They're forcing you. | ||
| They're holding your hand. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can look at it and they're forcing you in a bad way, but they're forcing you to catch the fuck up. | ||
| It's positive in general. | ||
| Everyone's faster. | ||
| Getting shit done faster. | ||
| Yeah, I guess. | ||
| Playing with yourself faster. | ||
| Did you see that shootout that happened here in Hollywood? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Yes. | ||
| What the fuck was that all about? | ||
| I don't know, but what's crazy is I found they released his name. | ||
| I read this small report where they released his name. | ||
| Tell everybody the story. | ||
| Okay, so there was this guy on, I think it was right next to the movie theater, the Citadel. | ||
| Vine, I think, in Hollywood. | ||
| Hollywood and Vine, right. | ||
| That just had a gun and he was walking down the street and every time somebody would drive by, just bam, bam, shooting people non-stop. | ||
| One guy got hit in the head. | ||
| He was a music executive here. | ||
| I think he might have died. | ||
| Hit him in the head. | ||
| He just pointed it right in his head and just bam. | ||
| He was just walking down the street doing all this shit. | ||
| Finally, the police came and they shot him down and they killed him. | ||
| But what's crazy, they released his name finally. | ||
| He was like a 26-year-old. | ||
| And if you go to his Twitter page, and I tweeted it. | ||
| I don't know where it is. | ||
| It's on my timeline. | ||
| But if you go to his Twitter page, his photos or the people we followed were all marijuana activists, gun activists, and then C-SPAN shit. | ||
| And then so I found his Facebook. | ||
| Then went on his Facebook, and his Facebook, he, like six days ago, went to a single in relationship status. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, God. | |
| And he was saying things like, I finally get Steve Jobs' last words or something like that. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| And then I'm like, oh, great. | ||
| But what's weird is if you looked at what he watched, his interest on Facebook and stuff was C-SPAN and weird shit. | ||
| Who watches C-SPAN 1 and 2? | ||
| That's what it says. | ||
| Yeah, that's like looking at your registry. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he also was like, he only tweeted like three times, and one of his tweets was like, Charlie Sheen, need more tiger blood. | ||
| I ran out. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| There's some sad, crazy fuckers out there, man. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's a scary thing, though, that this guy would just randomly start shooting people. | ||
| That scares me to see, though. | ||
| The video that they have on was very scary. | ||
| Yeah, it was terrifying. | ||
| He's just walking down the street shooting at cars. | ||
| Innocent people. | ||
| Yeah, it's scary shit, man. | ||
| But, you know, you have to worry about that whenever you have, you know, more than 10 people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Even when you have 10 people, man. | ||
| You know, how many people... | ||
| Have you ever known someone when they were young, they were normal, and then as they got older, they got crazier and crazier? | ||
| When reality didn't sort of fit their vision of what reality was supposed to be. | ||
| And then they started doing a lot of creepy shit and never really sort of saw the world for the way it really is. | ||
| And then they start getting crazy. | ||
| Have you ever met people like that? | ||
| Most comics. | ||
| Yeah, a lot of them. | ||
| We know a lot of them that went crazy, right? | ||
| That's an interesting thing to see. | ||
| It's an interesting thing to see someone legitimately lose their grip on reality. | ||
| We've seen it. | ||
| You and I have seen it. | ||
| We've seen it many times. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's fucking weird, huh? | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Weird watching people slip away. | ||
| So what do you do about that? | ||
| We can't do shit. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Can't bring them back. | ||
| They gotta bring back themselves. | ||
| I just totally forgot what we were talking about. | ||
| Right before this last thing. | ||
| Todd Bridges and the Olive Garden. | ||
| You need to take him to the Olive Garden. | ||
| That would be nice if you guys... | ||
| I don't want to hang out with him. | ||
| I just feel bad that I said that. | ||
| I shouldn't have. | ||
| It's not in keeping with my idea of being a positive person. | ||
| But that's just... | ||
| Sometimes shit happens, man. | ||
| You get tired. | ||
| You say something you shouldn't have said. | ||
| That's why no one's perfect. | ||
| We apologize. | ||
| And then we move on. | ||
| Don't let it get to, man. | ||
| Todd Bridges is a nice guy, I'm sure, and he gets it. | ||
| Well, I just don't like when I do something like that, and I don't like how I was thinking. | ||
| Sometimes you get tired, man. | ||
| You make some fucking mistakes. | ||
| If you get tired and cranky, or if you're just overrun or overburdened. | ||
| Do you find yourself when you're tired and cranky, like you just... | ||
| Don't like your behavior. | ||
| Lately, I've just been a complete asshole just because I have no time. | ||
| Do you feel like that sometimes with your girl? | ||
| Sometimes it deteriorates your relationship because you're tired and you're just snappy. | ||
| To me, it's like I'm in my own world because I'm trying to deal with a thousand things that are coming at me. | ||
| The other day, I had to check myself and I had to say, look, I am completely ignoring my relationship right now. | ||
| I'm like, I need to stop working as much. | ||
| So I'm making myself not do as much on purpose. | ||
| Like, I'm taking a day off here and there. | ||
| Where, like, I went almost two months, like, every day. | ||
| You need to activate yellow band. | ||
| Huh? | ||
| Yeah, I do need to. | ||
| Activate yellow band! | ||
| I need to activate money band. | ||
| How is he controlling the situation? | ||
| Well, that's something we need to work on. | ||
| Because I have not even talked to them about anything. | ||
| The other day, I was on stage, and I got off stage, and they turned off the podcast during the Ice House Chronicles. | ||
| I'm like, what happened? | ||
| They were like, well, everyone got up and said to turn it off. | ||
| I'm like, wait, wait, you're the guy in charge. | ||
| You knew I was coming back. | ||
| But it's just working out the, now you'll never do that. | ||
| Now I'm like, nah, don't ever do that. | ||
| Right, so you have to, a little bit of trial and error. | ||
| Yeah, but that's what's cool about the Joe Rogan experience. | ||
| We started off with snowflakes, and every day we love something new. | ||
| Yeah, on a laptop just for a goof. | ||
| And now we're coming up on a two-year anniversary, so we're going to have a celebration of this shit. | ||
| Yeah, and also this week we're having two shows, and on Saturday we're having a huge party, so maybe that could be the celebration. | ||
| Yeah, that's close enough to the time. | ||
| We started on New Year's Eve, right? | ||
| Christmas Eve. | ||
| Christmas Eve? | ||
| Yeah, Christmas Eve. | ||
| So yeah, we're right there. | ||
| I mean, what is it? | ||
| Like the 13th or something like that today? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Have you ever heard of the Rose Bowl Parade? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've been, but I've heard of it. | ||
| It's right here. | ||
| This is where it happens. | ||
| What does that happen? | ||
| I think New Year's Eve or New Year's Day or something like that. | ||
| Or Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. | ||
| We should podcast from the Rose Bowl Parade. | ||
| I know, but they put these weird signs on the street outside the studio here, and they say, any cars parked here from December 23rd to January 4th are subject to inspection. | ||
| Oh, well, that makes sense. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| I know. | ||
| You know, you can't have someone park a fucking dirty bum. | ||
| Yeah, but does that mean any kind of inspector and they just want to look at what kind of CDs I'm listening to? | ||
| No, it's Homeland Security. | ||
| They're going to find your weed. | ||
| They're going to find your weed and your girlfriend's porn. | ||
| They're going to lock you up in jail. | ||
| I've got to take the anonymous mask out of the window front. | ||
| Yeah, take that fucking anonymous mask out right now and put a fucking American flag. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| You have these things you have in front of the windows. | ||
| How about we hang American flags? | ||
| What's more American than our thoughts and ideals? | ||
| Because it's real America. | ||
| Not this bullshit fucking corporate swindle fest that's going on, Brian. | ||
| Real America is about speaking your fucking mind. | ||
| It's about creating something, uniting together in one giant bond as the greatest nation the world has ever known. | ||
| So we should put up our fucking flags because we truly represent America, not those cunts that would try to stop us. | ||
| I'm going to hang mine upside down. | ||
| You're too crazy. | ||
| Is that bad? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that mean? | |
| It's supposed to be, yeah. | ||
| I wouldn't do it. | ||
| If anything, they would piss off a soldier. | ||
| What if it's for people hanging upside down to look at the flag? | ||
| What if someone's back from Iraq and he's had a fucking hard time and he's loading up his gun right when he drives by your window and sees you with an upside down flag and decides to pump nine into your fucking window? | ||
| Huh? | ||
| What if you have somebody hanging upside down and then it's upside right for them? | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| I see what you're saying. | ||
| So you have the world is upside down? | ||
| I think you can get away with that as long as you have little bushes and stuff by the guy's feet as well. | ||
| Or hostages hanging upside down. | ||
| Hostages. | ||
| No, the theme has to be clear. | ||
| The guy has to be glued to the ground like he's walking through the park and the American flag is just there, all nice and proud, just upside down from your perspective. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But he lives in Australia. | ||
| It's called thinking up, you know, different. | ||
| He comes from the land down under where everything's upside down. | ||
| You know, in Australia, you can't even fuck around outside. | ||
| You've got to put sunscreen on because their ozone layer is gone. | ||
| Oh, that's so weird. | ||
| They've got a big hole in the ozone layer. | ||
| So when you're in, did I say Alaska? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| No, I think you said Australia. | ||
| I meant Australia if I did say Alaska, because I was going to say something about Alaska as well. | ||
| But in Australia, they have these ads on the side of buses, and they're fucking pretty graphic, man. | ||
| And they show people with chunks of their body cut out from skin cancer. | ||
| They show the stitches, and it says, I forget the ad campaign, but the basic message is, hey, you can get this from the sun, dude. | ||
| You've got to be careful. | ||
| Isn't that interesting? | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| Yeah, they have more issues than we do, apparently. | ||
| That ozone layer is a motherfucker. | ||
| And everybody says it was hairspray and all sorts of different things that eroded it. | ||
| It's probably boomerangs. | ||
| Terrifying. | ||
| Boomerangs. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| Well, I guess it just all settles down there by the way the Earth is built. | ||
| I don't know if that's a theory that's been disproven or proven or what. | ||
| I finally watched Tangled, and I really liked that movie. | ||
| It was a really good movie, man. | ||
| My middle one told me yesterday that she's not a fan of Tangled anymore. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why not? | |
| She has this Tangled thing in her room. | ||
| She's like, I don't like Tangled anymore. | ||
| That's the funny thing about kids. | ||
| They love something, and then they watch the fuck out of it. | ||
| It was Dora the Explorer for a little while. | ||
| She would watch the fuck out of Dora the Explorer, and now she doesn't want to have anything to do with it. | ||
| They move on to the next show, and then it becomes the next show that they're massively obsessed with. | ||
| You know, it's really interesting. | ||
| But Tangled now? | ||
| But just a year ago, man, Tangled, you know, when we took her to see it, and then she saw it in the movie, and then we got a DVD and brought it home. | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| She couldn't watch it enough, man. | ||
| You know what's the craziest thing? | ||
| Because every time I watch Adventure Time, I have to watch the kids' commercials. | ||
| The kids' commercials for toys are the most tripped out, insane. | ||
| If you're a coke addict, never watch kids' cartoons during the day and look at the commercials. | ||
| There was one about these. | ||
| The toy was little crabs that had makeup on and really nice hairstyles. | ||
| The commercial made no sense. | ||
| Why would they be marketing to kids dressing up crabs? | ||
| It was intense. | ||
| That sounds ridiculous. | ||
| I tweeted something earlier today. | ||
| I retweeted something that someone sent me where they were talking about kids today and all the different people. | ||
| I'm going to click on it just so everybody knows what it is. | ||
| R.S.A. Animate. | ||
| Changing Education Paradigms. | ||
| And paradigm is spelled P-A-R-A-D-I-G-M-S if you're a tard like myself. | ||
| Hey, that's rude. | ||
| That was rude. | ||
| I apologize. | ||
| But this is a very interesting little thing that someone made that points out how kids today are inundated with so much fucking massive, massive amounts of information. | ||
| And that, you know, they take these kids and force them into watching something really boring all day, like school, like staring at a blackboard. | ||
| And then, you know, you wonder why they're incredibly, you know, detached from what's happening. | ||
| Their world is the world of explosions and fucking video games and intense music on their iPhone. | ||
| It's, you know, it's loud and emotional. | ||
| And you make them shut that off when you come into this room to tell them boring shit. | ||
| You know, I mean, it's almost like what he was talking about earlier about programming. | ||
| I don't think it's like a conscious effort to do that. | ||
| I think it's just they're lazy and it's just the shit design. | ||
| But man, to take kids and take them from the world that they can experience now with the internet and video games and movies and songs and cars and technology and then make them sit in the fucking class and listen to stupid shit all day. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what they need to do? | |
| They totally need to do this. | ||
| Electronic Arts and THQ and all these big video game companies need to start selling video games that have to do with shit they want to teach the people. | ||
| If you ask me any question on Fallout 3 or whatever, like about bottle caps or whatever, I know exactly what you're talking about. | ||
| I have this thing memorized in my head. | ||
| I will never forget it. | ||
| Can you imagine if you could teach kids through a video game that would actually let them... | ||
| Go back on an adventure through time and learn about history and be a part of it. | ||
| Yeah, you're George Washington. | ||
| You'll know everything about George Washington by the end of that video game. | ||
| And the kids will remember that every single kid likes to play video games. | ||
| Yeah, but you'd go back there and just start punking people and go Grand Theft Auto style and start fucking shooting people off their horses. | ||
| Yeah, but if you make it so if you do any of that stuff, you get taken away at recess or you get detentions. | ||
| If you fucking shoot somebody in the kneecap, you get detention, you know? | ||
| I guess. | ||
| That could start at the beginning of the end, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| It would be hard to make history interesting. | ||
| You know, you'd have to have some really entertaining person, like, who's, like, a history major, or, you know, a history professor, rather, who's just really good at figuring out the best way to construct the stories, you know, and getting you into it. | ||
| And then showing you cool shit, too. | ||
| That's another one. | ||
| Like, showing you documentaries and cool pictures and stuff. | ||
| Like, But, you know, when you get to certain things like mathematics and stuff like that, how are you going to make a video game where kids learn math and then it's fun? | ||
| It's fun for someone who wants to play, like, Fallout. | ||
| I'm sure they'll do something like... | ||
| Call of Duty. | ||
| You know, you want to play Call of Duty and they're like, let's play Numbers! | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, I wonder. | ||
| I don't think you can teach that that way. | ||
| Unless it was something like a SimCity or some kind of, like, you know, you're married to the Octomom and it's like a math video game thing. | ||
| I guess so. | ||
| Well, some people love math. | ||
| I'm just talking shit, because some people actually sit down and do mathematics for fun. | ||
| I hate math so much. | ||
| We had Tara Patrick in the studio the other day, and her biggest turn-on is a guy that knows math really well. | ||
| What a good kid. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because she wants him to know exactly how many dicks she sucked. | ||
| She wants him to really be able to wrap that around his head. | ||
| Not to be vague. | ||
| Oh, honey, I know you're talking a couple of things. | ||
| Listen, I'm tired of your bullshit. | ||
| Listen to me. | ||
| Do you know what a million is? | ||
| Can you wrap your head around a million? | ||
| She was Prager's, man. | ||
| She's starting to look nice. | ||
| She's got that little Prager juice on her. | ||
| You like that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, she's got a little, you know, she's got a little chunk to her. | |
| Do you beat off the pregnant chicks, you sick fuck? | ||
| I do because it's different. | ||
| You know, I don't look for it, but I'll be like, that girl's pregnant and hot. | ||
| Double bonus. | ||
| Wow, really? | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| So when you were around her and she was hot, it was, like, exciting? | ||
| She just, you know, there's a few girls, like, she's just hot to be around. | ||
| You know, there's a few girls that, you know, smell like skull, and you're like, ugh, skull. | ||
| You know, but she's gorgeous, and she just, you know, she retired, so she hasn't shot in like four or five years or something like that. | ||
| So she's a born-again virgin, basically. | ||
| But she just released a new photo shoot on some foreign magazine, and she brought it, and it was nice. | ||
| She has a nice body. | ||
| She's pretty hot. | ||
| And a nice husband. | ||
| Or boyfriend. | ||
| Or father of the baby that's coming. | ||
| What's he do? | ||
| He's a makeup artist. | ||
| But he just did the new Superman movie and stuff like that. | ||
| He was really cool. | ||
| He's a really nice guy. | ||
| It's just a funny thing where some dudes just can't accept that. | ||
| Some dudes are never going to be able to accept the fact that their chick was a porn star. | ||
| And some guys are just like, whatever. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| I'm getting mine. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's interesting how weird we are with sex. | ||
| It's a strange culture where everything is sold with sex, but yet if you, you know, if you really get down to the nitty gritty, we're really fucking weird about it. | ||
| We're really insecure about it and insincere about it. | ||
| It's strange, right? | ||
| We have a fucked up culture, man. | ||
| It is a weird culture. | ||
| You actually try to suppress nature. | ||
| It's a strange, strange fucking way we live, man. | ||
| But selling things with pussy, you know when that makes sense? | ||
| When you get married. | ||
| When you get married, it makes sense. | ||
| Because when you're single, and you could, you know, you know, like, well, this relationship doesn't work, and we break up, I'll find someone else, and that'll be interesting, because it'll be a new person. | ||
| But when you're married, and you commit to this idea that you're just going to be with this person for the rest of your life, then you start, like, seeing some chick selling watches. | ||
| You know, look at that dirty bitch. | ||
| That dirty bitch with her fucking long legs. | ||
| Like, it really, like, attracts you. | ||
| Like, maybe this Omega watch is gonna get me some of that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It really does work, you know? | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| It's like, I guarantee you, if you had commercials for a cell phone service in Ethiopia, and you showed delicious food in the background, you know, like, here's a cell phone, and it's fucking roast beef there, mashed potatoes, and giant pitchers of orange juice, and all this yummy food, and these poor fucks would probably look at and giant pitchers of orange juice, and all this yummy food, and these poor fucks would probably look at that, Doesn't that make sense? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| This podcast is over, isn't it? | ||
| Pretty much. | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| We've done, I think, over three hours. | ||
| Yeah, well, we had to come back because I had to give my apology to Todd Bridges. | ||
| I really do feel stupid about that. | ||
| And we really wanted to talk about Fear Factor because it was pretty fucking crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was awesome. | |
| I can't wait for this. | ||
| It was very weird. | ||
| Every Monday, right? | ||
| Yeah, every Monday for a while. | ||
| We only did eight of them. | ||
| So it'll air quick, but the ratings were giant. | ||
| They're a monster. | ||
| Everybody's super, super happy. | ||
| Next thing you know, you're going to be picked up for another season and you're going to be like, oh dude, we start filming again in two weeks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It could be. | |
| And it's going to save you from the Japanese radiation. | ||
| I'm going to have to shave my head. | ||
| I can't keep looking at my balding head on TV. It's just too sad. | ||
| I'm going to have to do something about this. | ||
| Well... | ||
| Wear wigs. | ||
| That'd be funny. | ||
| Maybe wear a different wig every week. | ||
| Maybe a red wig. | ||
| A red wig like Bozo the Clown. | ||
| That's what I'm going to get. | ||
| I'm going to get a red wig, but only on the sides. | ||
| Only around the ears. | ||
| Like earmuffs. | ||
| This weekend, we have... | ||
| Oh, if you want to come to that Chicago show, it's almost sold out, folks. | ||
| January 27th, 2012. Joe Diaz and Duncan Trussell at the Chicago Theater. | ||
| It's going to be off the fucking chain. | ||
| And that is the same weekend that Fox 2 is scheduled. | ||
| So that card is a great card. | ||
| There's Rashad Evans versus Phil Davis. | ||
| There's a bunch of great fights on the undercard of that as well. | ||
| Michael Bisping versus Damian Maia. | ||
| That's a great fucking fight. | ||
| So it should be sick. | ||
| It's a great card for Chicago, and it's going to be awesome to be on Fox again. | ||
| And then the night before that, we have a show at the Chicago Theater. | ||
| And it's the same place where the weigh-ins are, which is pretty badass. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| Yeah, so we're going to basically do the weigh-ins, get something to eat, and then rock the house. | ||
| But Duncan and Joey together. | ||
| This is a rare one. | ||
| This is going to be fucking fun. | ||
| Thank you to The Fleshlight. | ||
| And please go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link for The Fleshlight, and enter in the code name ROGAN. They have been our sponsor for a long time now. | ||
| It's been like shit, like a year and a half or something like that. | ||
| Yeah, they're the best. | ||
| It's a cool company with very cool people. | ||
| That's how we met Aubrey. | ||
| Go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link, and you get 15% off. | ||
| And like I said, you're buying something from some good people. | ||
| Or don't buy it, man. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| Beat off on your own. | ||
| That's all good too. | ||
| They're great Christmas ornaments. | ||
| Just chop off the very tip of it. | ||
| I can't believe you butchered it like that. | ||
| It's Mrs. Claus. | ||
| I called it Frozen Mrs. Claus. | ||
| From outer space. | ||
| Thank you also to Onnit.com, makers of New Mood. | ||
| These two I use on a regular basis, New Mood and AlphaBrain, and whenever I work out, I use ShroomTech. | ||
| New Mood is a 5-HTP supplement, and it also has L-tryptophan, which converts to it, so it's nice. | ||
| It's got a little time-release effect, and it really is like a nice mood stabilizer. | ||
| I don't want to say stabilizer. | ||
| It's an enhancer. | ||
| It makes you feel good. | ||
| Neil Brennan is the one who turned us on to it. | ||
| I appreciate it. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| Alpha Brain as well, which is a cognitive enhancing supplement that I love. | ||
| I swear by it. | ||
| Some people don't like it. | ||
| Some people love it. | ||
| It's all on you. | ||
| If you don't want it, don't buy it. | ||
| If you do buy it and you don't like it, 100% money back guarantee, which is nice. | ||
| So even if you, you know, you don't have to send it back in, you eat it, you say this shit sucks, you get your money back. | ||
| If you're interested in it but you think it's too expensive, please go to the website, find the ingredient list, and then buy this stuff in bulk and make your own shit. | ||
| And I more than welcome it. | ||
| I'm not trying to get rich off this, but these are good products that I personally believe in and use. | ||
| and it's onnit.com O-N-N-I-T and if you go to JoeRogan.net and click on the link for AlphaBrain and enter in the code named Rogan you will get 10% off and you will get smarter what? | ||
| Fleshlight really dropped the ball on that they should definitely have Mrs. Claus Fleshlight what the fuck have it be like creepy that'd be the best Christmas toy ever to give as a joke yeah with like white frosting around it yeah just like really wrinkled looking like just super old pussy looking maybe it's not too late they have the fucking factory dude First of all, feel free to use Brian's idea. | ||
| Brian, you don't want any money for that, do you? | ||
| No, no, just sponsor the Death Squad podcast. | ||
| Yeah, what's that? | ||
| Sponsor the Death Squad podcast. | ||
| Oh, by the way, if you want to listen to the Ice House Chronicles, we've been doing podcasts... | ||
| Broadcasts? | ||
| That's like a podcast for cows. | ||
| We've been doing podcasts for the last four or five weeks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And we do them live from the Ice House, and they're called the Ice House Chronicles. | ||
| And it's, in my opinion, one of the coolest podcasts we do. | ||
| Because... | ||
| You know, it might not be as structured as today's was, which is today's, you know, this is a different kind of podcast. | ||
| Today's with Bruce Lipton was brilliant. | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
| It was eye-opening. | ||
| It was like really, really made you think about things, and I really enjoyed it. | ||
| But with the Ice House Chronicles, it's really a hang. | ||
| It's all of us, all of us comics. | ||
| Green room. | ||
| It's a green room. | ||
| It's the real green room. | ||
| For real. | ||
| Legit. | ||
| It's uncensored. | ||
| It's everybody sitting around. | ||
| And sometimes it needs to be censored. | ||
| I heard about some Brendan Walsh. | ||
| Oh yeah, I need to know what I need to do about that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You need to delete that and get that offline. | |
| But it's a really fun podcast and the only way to get it is if you go to iTunes and subscribe to the Death Squad. | ||
| Death Squad is the podcast network that Brian produces and it contains not just the Ice House Chronicles but Sam Tripoli's Naughty Show, Thomas Segura and Christina Segura, even though she uses some other fucking name. | ||
| That's called Your Mom's House and they have a great John Heffron. | ||
| We just had Lip Nicky, the guy from... | ||
| What's that movie? | ||
| Show Me the Money. | ||
| Jerry Maguire. | ||
| Jerry Maguire. | ||
| And he's been training jiu-jitsu and martial arts since he was six years old. | ||
| Yeah, apparently he choked the fuck out of John Heffron. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We had him on the show, man. | ||
| He was so awesome. | ||
| Very interesting guy. | ||
| That's great, man. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| It's good to hear. | ||
| He's a child star that actually survived. | ||
| Yeah, good parenting. | ||
| That's why. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Also, he stopped being famous for a while and kind of leveled out. | ||
| He's normal now. | ||
| Good for him. | ||
| Thank you to everybody for tuning in. | ||
| Thank you to everybody who watched Fear Factor. | ||
| I'm glad you enjoyed it. | ||
| And thank you if you don't. | ||
| I don't give a fuck, folks. | ||
| We're just here to have a good time. | ||
| Just enjoy yourself. | ||
| And please, if you get a chance, if you're only listening to this podcast, listen to the David Lipton one that we just did because it's really a fucking interesting take. | ||
| On how your thoughts control your reality. | ||
| Alright bitches? | ||
| We love you. | ||
| We'll see you if you're a Hollywood person. | ||
| New Year's. | ||
| Melrose Improv. | ||
| Brian Reichel's going to be there too. | ||
| Brian, you need to create some kind of a video for this shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Show at Hollywood Improv. | ||
| New Year's. | ||
| I think it's Joe Diaz, me, and I don't know who the fuck else. | ||
| But it'll be crazy. | ||
| Whoever it is, it's going to be good. | ||
| So we'll see you freaks soon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Later. | |
| Sometime this week. | ||
| Who am I doing this week? | ||
| I got someone. | ||
| Oh, Duncan. | ||
| Is Duncan doing it? | ||
| Yeah, Duncan's doing it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cool. | |
| Duncan, tomorrow. | ||
| All right. |
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